This is a modern-English version of The Works of Edgar Allan Poe, The Raven Edition: Table Of Contents And Index Of The Five Volumes, originally written by Poe, Edgar Allan. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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The Works of Edgar Allan Poe

by Edgar Allan Poe

IN FIVE VOLUMES

IN FIVE VOLS

The Raven Edition


Contents

VOLUME 1.
PREFACE
LIFE OF POE
DEATH OF POE
THE UNPARALLELED ADVENTURES OF ONE HANS PFAALL
THE GOLD-BUG
FOUR BEASTS IN ONE—THE HOMO-CAMELEOPARD
THE MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE
THE MYSTERY OF MARIE ROGET.(*1)
THE BALLOON-HOAX
MS. FOUND IN A BOTTLE
THE OVAL PORTRAIT

VOLUME 2.
THE PURLOINED LETTER
THE THOUSAND-AND-SECOND TALE OF SCHEHERAZADE
A DESCENT INTO THE MAELSTROM.
VON KEMPELEN AND HIS DISCOVERY
MESMERIC REVELATION
THE FACTS IN THE CASE OF M. VALDEMAR
THE BLACK CAT.
THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER
SILENCE—A FABLE
THE MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH.
THE CASK OF AMONTILLADO.
THE IMP OF THE PERVERSE
THE ISLAND OF THE FAY
THE ASSIGNATION
THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM
THE PREMATURE BURIAL
THE DOMAIN OF ARNHEIM
LANDOR’S COTTAGE
WILLIAM WILSO
THE TELL-TALE HEART.
BERENICE
ELEONORA
NOTES TO THE SECOND VOLUME

VOLUME 3.
NARRATIVE OF A. GORDON PYM
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 16
CHAPTER 17
CHAPTER 18
CHAPTER 19
CHAPTER 20
CHAPTER 21
CHAPTER 22
CHAPTER 23
CHAPTER 24
CHAPTER 25
NOTES TO THE THIRD VOLUME

LIGEIA
MORELLA
A TALE OF THE RAGGED MOUNTAINS
THE SPECTACLES
KING PEST
THREE SUNDAYS IN A WEEK

VOLUME 4.
THE DEVIL IN THE BELFRY
LIONIZING
X-ING A PARAGRAPH
METZENGERSTEIN
THE SYSTEM OF DOCTOR TARR AND PROFESSOR FETHER
THE LITERARY LIFE OF THINGUM BOB, ESQ.
HOW TO WRITE A BLACKWOOD ARTICLE
A PREDICAMENT
MYSTIFICATION
DIDDLING
THE ANGEL OF THE ODD
MELLONTA TAUTA
THE DUC DE L’OMELETTE
THE OBLONG BOX
LOSS OF BREATH
THE MAN THAT WAS USED UP
THE BUSINESS MAN
THE LANDSCAPE GARDEN
MAELZEL’S CHESS-PLAYER
THE POWER OF WORDS
THE COLLOQUY OF MONOS AND UNA
THE CONVERSATION OF EIROS AND CHARMION
SHADOW—A PARABLE

VOLUME 5.
PHILOSOPHY OF FURNITURE
A TALE OF JERUSALEM
THE SPHINX
HOP-FROG
THE MAN OF THE CROWD
NEVER BET THE DEVIL YOUR HEAD
THOU ART THE MAN
WHY THE LITTLE FRENCHMAN WEARS HIS HAND IN A SLING
BON-BON
SOME WORDS WITH A MUMMY
THE POETIC PRINCIPLE
OLD ENGLISH POETRY

POEMS
PREFACE
POEMS OF LATER LIFE
THE RAVEN
THE BELLS
ULALUME
TO HELEN
ANNABEL LEE
A VALENTINE
AN ENIGMA
FOR ANNIE
TO F——
TO FRANCES S. OSGOOD
ELDORADO
TO MARIE LOUISE (SHEW)
O MARIE LOUISE (SHEW)
THE CITY IN THE SEA
THE SLEEPER
NOTES

POEMS OF MANHOOD
LENORE
TO ONE IN PARADISE
THE COLISEUM
THE HAUNTED PALACE
THE CONQUEROR WORM
SILENCE
DREAM-LAND
HYMN
TO ZANTE
SCENES FROM “POLITIAN”
POEMS OF YOUTH
INTRODUCTION TO POEMS—1831
LETTER TO MR. B—.
SONNET—TO SCIENCE
AL AARAAF
TAMERLANE
TO HELEN
THE VALLEY OF UNREST
ISRAFEL
TO ——
TO ——
TO THE RIVER——
SONG
SPIRITS OF THE DEAD
A DREAM
ROMANCE
FAIRY-LAND
THE LAKE —— TO——
EVENING STAR
“THE HAPPIEST DAY.”
IMITATION
HYMN TO ARISTOGEITON AND HARMODIUS
DREAMS
“IN YOUTH I HAVE KNOWN ONE”
NOTES

DOUBTFUL POEMS
ALONE
TO ISADORE
THE VILLAGE STREET
THE FOREST REVERIE
NOTES

VOLUME 1.

EDGAR ALLAN POE
AN APPRECIATION

Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore—
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of “never—never more!”

Caught by some unfortunate master whom relentless Disaster
Chased closely and even faster until his songs had one theme—
Until the dirges of his Hope that sad weight carried
Of “never—never more!”

This stanza from “The Raven” was recommended by James Russell Lowell as an inscription upon the Baltimore monument which marks the resting place of Edgar Allan Poe, the most interesting and original figure in American letters. And, to signify that peculiar musical quality of Poe’s genius which inthralls every reader, Mr. Lowell suggested this additional verse, from the “Haunted Palace”:

This stanza from “The Raven” was suggested by James Russell Lowell as an inscription on the Baltimore monument that marks the resting place of Edgar Allan Poe, the most fascinating and original figure in American literature. To highlight the unique musical quality of Poe’s genius that captivates every reader, Mr. Lowell also recommended this extra verse from the “Haunted Palace”:

And all with pearl and ruby glowing
    Was the fair palace door,
Through which came flowing, flowing, flowing,
    And sparkling ever more,
A troop of Echoes, whose sweet duty
    Was but to sing,
In voices of surpassing beauty,
    The wit and wisdom of their king.

And everything was shining with pearls and rubies
    at the beautiful palace door,
Through which came streaming, streaming, streaming,
    and sparkling even more,
A group of Echoes, whose sweet task
    Was just to sing,
In voices of incredible beauty,
    The wit and wisdom of their king.

Born in poverty at Boston, January 19, 1809, dying under painful circumstances at Baltimore, October 7, 1849, his whole literary career of scarcely fifteen years a pitiful struggle for mere subsistence, his memory malignantly misrepresented by his earliest biographer, Griswold, how completely has truth at last routed falsehood and how magnificently has Poe come into his own. For “The Raven,” first published in 1845, and, within a few months, read, recited and parodied wherever the English language was spoken, the half-starved poet received $10! Less than a year later his brother poet, N. P. Willis, issued this touching appeal to the admirers of genius on behalf of the neglected author, his dying wife and her devoted mother, then living under very straitened circumstances in a little cottage at Fordham, N. Y.:

Born into poverty in Boston on January 19, 1809, and dying under painful circumstances in Baltimore on October 7, 1849, his brief literary career of just fifteen years was a heartbreaking struggle for basic survival. His memory was harshly distorted by his first biographer, Griswold, but ultimately, truth has triumphed over falsehood, and Poe has rightfully gained recognition. For “The Raven,” first published in 1845 and quickly read, recited, and parodied wherever English was spoken, the undernourished poet earned just $10! Less than a year later, his fellow poet, N. P. Willis, made a heartfelt plea to fans of genius on behalf of the overlooked author, his dying wife, and her devoted mother, who were living under very difficult circumstances in a small cottage in Fordham, N.Y.:

“Here is one of the finest scholars, one of the most original men of genius, and one of the most industrious of the literary profession of our country, whose temporary suspension of labor, from bodily illness, drops him immediately to a level with the common objects of public charity. There is no intermediate stopping-place, no respectful shelter, where, with the delicacy due to genius and culture, he might secure aid, till, with returning health, he would resume his labors, and his unmortified sense of independence.”

“Here is one of the greatest scholars, one of the most original geniuses, and one of the hardest-working individuals in our country's literary field, whose temporary break from work due to illness brings him down to a level with ordinary recipients of public charity. There’s no middle ground, no respectful place where, with the consideration due to talent and education, he could receive support until he recovers and can return to his work and his undiminished sense of independence.”

And this was the tribute paid by the American public to the master who had given to it such tales of conjuring charm, of witchery and mystery as “The Fall of the House of Usher” and “Ligeia”; such fascinating hoaxes as “The Unparalleled Adventure of Hans Pfaall,” “MSS. Found in a Bottle,” “A Descent Into a Maelstrom” and “The Balloon-Hoax”; such tales of conscience as “William Wilson,” “The Black Cat” and “The Tell-tale Heart,” wherein the retributions of remorse are portrayed with an awful fidelity; such tales of natural beauty as “The Island of the Fay” and “The Domain of Arnheim”; such marvellous studies in ratiocination as the “Gold-bug,” “The Murders in the Rue Morgue,” “The Purloined Letter” and “The Mystery of Marie Roget,” the latter, a recital of fact, demonstrating the author’s wonderful capability of correctly analyzing the mysteries of the human mind; such tales of illusion and banter as “The Premature Burial” and “The System of Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether”; such bits of extravaganza as “The Devil in the Belfry” and “The Angel of the Odd”; such tales of adventure as “The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym”; such papers of keen criticism and review as won for Poe the enthusiastic admiration of Charles Dickens, although they made him many enemies among the over-puffed minor American writers so mercilessly exposed by him; such poems of beauty and melody as “The Bells,” “The Haunted Palace,” “Tamerlane,” “The City in the Sea” and “The Raven.” What delight for the jaded senses of the reader is this enchanted domain of wonder-pieces! What an atmosphere of beauty, music, color! What resources of imagination, construction, analysis and absolute art! One might almost sympathize with Sarah Helen Whitman, who, confessing to a half faith in the old superstition of the significance of anagrams, found, in the transposed letters of Edgar Poe’s name, the words “a God-peer.” His mind, she says, was indeed a “Haunted Palace,” echoing to the footfalls of angels and demons.

And this was the tribute paid by the American public to the master who had given them such enchanting stories filled with magic and mystery as “The Fall of the House of Usher” and “Ligeia”; such intriguing tales like “The Unparalleled Adventure of Hans Pfaall,” “MSS. Found in a Bottle,” “A Descent Into a Maelstrom,” and “The Balloon-Hoax”; such stories of guilt and conscience as “William Wilson,” “The Black Cat,” and “The Tell-tale Heart,” where the consequences of remorse are depicted with horrifying accuracy; such beautiful narratives of nature as “The Island of the Fay” and “The Domain of Arnheim”; such amazing detective stories as “The Gold-bug,” “The Murders in the Rue Morgue,” “The Purloined Letter,” and “The Mystery of Marie Roget,” the last one, a recounting of facts, showing the author’s incredible ability to analyze the mysteries of the human mind; such tales of irony and humor as “The Premature Burial” and “The System of Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether”; such whimsical pieces as “The Devil in the Belfry” and “The Angel of the Odd”; such adventurous stories as “The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym”; such sharp critiques and reviews that earned Poe the enthusiastic admiration of Charles Dickens, even though they made him many enemies among the overhyped minor American writers he critiqued so ruthlessly; such beautiful and musical poems as “The Bells,” “The Haunted Palace,” “Tamerlane,” “The City in the Sea,” and “The Raven.” What a delight for the weary reader's senses is this magical realm of amazing works! What an atmosphere of beauty, music, and color! What a wealth of imagination, creativity, analysis, and pure artistry! One might almost empathize with Sarah Helen Whitman, who, admitting to a partial belief in the old superstition about the significance of anagrams, found in the scrambled letters of Edgar Poe’s name the phrase “a God-peer.” Her assessment was that his mind was indeed a “Haunted Palace,” resonating with the footsteps of angels and demons.

“No man,” Poe himself wrote, “has recorded, no man has dared to record, the wonders of his inner life.”

“No man,” Poe himself wrote, “has recorded, no man has dared to record, the wonders of his inner life.”

In these twentieth century days—of lavish recognition—artistic, popular and material—of genius, what rewards might not a Poe claim!

In these twenty-first century days—of abundant recognition—artistic, popular, and material—of genius, what rewards could Poe not claim!

Edgar’s father, a son of General David Poe, the American revolutionary patriot and friend of Lafayette, had married Mrs. Hopkins, an English actress, and, the match meeting with parental disapproval, had himself taken to the stage as a profession. Notwithstanding Mrs. Poe’s beauty and talent the young couple had a sorry struggle for existence. When Edgar, at the age of two years, was orphaned, the family was in the utmost destitution. Apparently the future poet was to be cast upon the world homeless and friendless. But fate decreed that a few glimmers of sunshine were to illumine his life, for the little fellow was adopted by John Allan, a wealthy merchant of Richmond, Va. A brother and sister, the remaining children, were cared for by others.

Edgar’s father, the son of General David Poe, an American Revolutionary hero and friend of Lafayette, had married Mrs. Hopkins, an English actress. Since their marriage was not approved by their families, he turned to acting as a profession. Despite Mrs. Poe’s beauty and talent, the young couple struggled to make ends meet. When Edgar was just two years old and lost both parents, the family faced extreme poverty. It seemed that the future poet would be left to navigate the world alone and without support. However, fate had other plans, as the young boy was adopted by John Allan, a wealthy merchant in Richmond, VA. His brother and sister were taken care of by other people.

In his new home Edgar found all the luxury and advantages money could provide. He was petted, spoiled and shown off to strangers. In Mrs. Allan he found all the affection a childless wife could bestow. Mr. Allan took much pride in the captivating, precocious lad. At the age of five the boy recited, with fine effect, passages of English poetry to the visitors at the Allan house.

In his new home, Edgar experienced all the luxury and benefits that money could offer. He was indulged, pampered, and proudly displayed to guests. In Mrs. Allan, he received all the love that a wife without children could give. Mr. Allan took great pride in the charming, talented boy. By the age of five, the kid recited, with impressive effect, excerpts of English poetry to the guests at the Allan house.

From his eighth to his thirteenth year he attended the Manor House school, at Stoke-Newington, a suburb of London. It was the Rev. Dr. Bransby, head of the school, whom Poe so quaintly portrayed in “William Wilson.” Returning to Richmond in 1820 Edgar was sent to the school of Professor Joseph H. Clarke. He proved an apt pupil. Years afterward Professor Clarke thus wrote:

From the age of eight to thirteen, he went to Manor House school in Stoke Newington, a suburb of London. The head of the school, Rev. Dr. Bransby, was the person Poe famously depicted in “William Wilson.” After returning to Richmond in 1820, Edgar was enrolled in Professor Joseph H. Clarke's school. He turned out to be a quick learner. Years later, Professor Clarke wrote:

“While the other boys wrote mere mechanical verses, Poe wrote genuine poetry; the boy was a born poet. As a scholar he was ambitious to excel. He was remarkable for self-respect, without haughtiness. He had a sensitive and tender heart and would do anything for a friend. His nature was entirely free from selfishness.”

“While the other boys wrote basic verses, Poe wrote real poetry; he was a natural poet. As a student, he was eager to excel. He stood out for his self-respect, without arrogance. He had a sensitive and kind heart and would do anything for a friend. His character was completely free from selfishness.”

At the age of seventeen Poe entered the University of Virginia at Charlottesville. He left that institution after one session. Official records prove that he was not expelled. On the contrary, he gained a creditable record as a student, although it is admitted that he contracted debts and had “an ungovernable passion for card-playing.” These debts may have led to his quarrel with Mr. Allan which eventually compelled him to make his own way in the world.

At seventeen, Poe started at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville. He left after just one session. Official records show that he wasn't expelled. In fact, he did well as a student, although it's acknowledged that he accumulated debts and had "an uncontrollable passion for card-playing." These debts might have caused his conflict with Mr. Allan, which ultimately forced him to find his own way in the world.

Early in 1827 Poe made his first literary venture. He induced Calvin Thomas, a poor and youthful printer, to publish a small volume of his verses under the title “Tamerlane and Other Poems.” In 1829 we find Poe in Baltimore with another manuscript volume of verses, which was soon published. Its title was “Al Aaraaf, Tamerlane and Other Poems.” Neither of these ventures seems to have attracted much attention.

Early in 1827, Poe made his first literary attempt. He convinced Calvin Thomas, a struggling young printer, to publish a small collection of his poems titled “Tamerlane and Other Poems.” In 1829, we find Poe in Baltimore with another manuscript of poems, which was soon published. It was titled “Al Aaraaf, Tamerlane and Other Poems.” Neither of these efforts seems to have garnered much attention.

Soon after Mrs. Allan’s death, which occurred in 1829, Poe, through the aid of Mr. Allan, secured admission to the United States Military Academy at West Point. Any glamour which may have attached to cadet life in Poe’s eyes was speedily lost, for discipline at West Point was never so severe nor were the accommodations ever so poor. Poe’s bent was more and more toward literature. Life at the academy daily became increasingly distasteful. Soon he began to purposely neglect his studies and to disregard his duties, his aim being to secure his dismissal from the United States service. In this he succeeded. On March 7, 1831, Poe found himself free. Mr. Allan’s second marriage had thrown the lad on his own resources. His literary career was to begin.

Soon after Mrs. Allan’s death in 1829, Poe, with Mr. Allan’s help, got into the United States Military Academy at West Point. Any excitement he felt about cadet life quickly faded because discipline at West Point was extremely strict and the conditions were very poor. Poe's interests leaned more and more toward literature, and life at the academy became increasingly unbearable for him. He soon started to intentionally neglect his studies and ignore his responsibilities, hoping to get kicked out of the United States service. He succeeded in this. On March 7, 1831, Poe found himself free. Mr. Allan’s second marriage had forced him to rely on himself. His literary career was about to begin.

Poe’s first genuine victory was won in 1833, when he was the successful competitor for a prize of $100 offered by a Baltimore periodical for the best prose story. “A MSS. Found in a Bottle” was the winning tale. Poe had submitted six stories in a volume. “Our only difficulty,” says Mr. Latrobe, one of the judges, “was in selecting from the rich contents of the volume.”

Poe's first real victory came in 1833 when he won a $100 prize offered by a Baltimore magazine for the best prose story. "A MS Found in a Bottle" was the winning story. Poe had submitted six stories in one collection. “Our only challenge,” says Mr. Latrobe, one of the judges, “was choosing from the wealth of content in the collection.”

During the fifteen years of his literary life Poe was connected with various newspapers and magazines in Richmond, Philadelphia and New York. He was faithful, punctual, industrious, thorough. N. P. Willis, who for some time employed Poe as critic and sub-editor on the “Evening Mirror,” wrote thus:

During the fifteen years of his writing career, Poe worked with several newspapers and magazines in Richmond, Philadelphia, and New York. He was dedicated, punctual, hardworking, and thorough. N. P. Willis, who employed Poe as a critic and sub-editor for the “Evening Mirror” for a while, wrote this:

“With the highest admiration for Poe’s genius, and a willingness to let it alone for more than ordinary irregularity, we were led by common report to expect a very capricious attention to his duties, and occasionally a scene of violence and difficulty. Time went on, however, and he was invariably punctual and industrious. We saw but one presentiment of the man—a quiet, patient, industrious and most gentlemanly person.

“With great admiration for Poe’s talent, and an understanding that he might be more unconventional than usual, we were led by popular opinion to expect unpredictable behavior from him, along with occasional outbursts of anger and trouble. However, as time passed, he was consistently on time and hardworking. We only witnessed one glimpse of the man—a calm, patient, diligent, and truly gentlemanly individual."

“We heard, from one who knew him well (what should be stated in all mention of his lamentable irregularities), that with a single glass of wine his whole nature was reversed, the demon became uppermost, and, though none of the usual signs of intoxication were visible, his will was palpably insane. In this reversed character, we repeat, it was never our chance to meet him.”

“We heard from someone who knew him well (which should be noted in any mention of his unfortunate flaws) that just one glass of wine completely changed his personality; the darker side took over, and even though there were no typical signs of drunkenness, his behavior was clearly irrational. In this altered state, we want to emphasize, we never had the opportunity to meet him.”

On September 22, 1835, Poe married his cousin, Virginia Clemm, in Baltimore. She had barely turned thirteen years, Poe himself was but twenty-six. He then was a resident of Richmond and a regular contributor to the “Southern Literary Messenger.” It was not until a year later that the bride and her widowed mother followed him thither.

On September 22, 1835, Poe married his cousin, Virginia Clemm, in Baltimore. She had just turned thirteen, while Poe was twenty-six. At that time, he lived in Richmond and was a regular contributor to the “Southern Literary Messenger.” It wasn’t until a year later that the bride and her widowed mother moved there to join him.

Poe’s devotion to his child-wife was one of the most beautiful features of his life. Many of his famous poetic productions were inspired by her beauty and charm. Consumption had marked her for its victim, and the constant efforts of husband and mother were to secure for her all the comfort and happiness their slender means permitted. Virginia died January 30, 1847, when but twenty-five years of age. A friend of the family pictures the death-bed scene—mother and husband trying to impart warmth to her by chafing her hands and her feet, while her pet cat was suffered to nestle upon her bosom for the sake of added warmth.

Poe’s love for his young wife was one of the most beautiful aspects of his life. Many of his well-known poems were inspired by her beauty and charm. She was a victim of tuberculosis, and both her husband and mother worked tirelessly to provide her with as much comfort and happiness as their limited resources would allow. Virginia died on January 30, 1847, at just twenty-five years old. A family friend describes the scene at her deathbed—her mother and husband trying to warm her hands and feet, while her beloved cat was allowed to curl up on her chest for extra warmth.

These verses from “Annabel Lee,” written by Poe in 1849, the last year of his life, tell of his sorrow at the loss of his child-wife:

These lines from “Annabel Lee,” written by Poe in 1849, the final year of his life, express his grief over the loss of his child-wife:

I was a child and she was a child,
    In a kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
    I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
    Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago,
    In this kingdom by the sea.
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
    My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her high-born kinsmen came
    And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
    In this kingdom by the sea.

I was a kid and she was a kid,
In a kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was deeper than love—
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged angels of heaven
Envied her and me.
And this was why, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea.
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So her high-born relatives came
And took her away from me,
To lock her up in a tomb
In this kingdom by the sea.

Poe was connected at various times and in various capacities with the “Southern Literary Messenger” in Richmond, Va.; “Graham’s Magazine” and the “Gentleman’s Magazine” in Philadelphia; the “Evening Mirror,” the “Broadway Journal,” and “Godey’s Lady’s Book” in New York. Everywhere Poe’s life was one of unremitting toil. No tales and poems were ever produced at a greater cost of brain and spirit.

Poe was involved at different times and in different roles with the “Southern Literary Messenger” in Richmond, Va.; “Graham’s Magazine” and the “Gentleman’s Magazine” in Philadelphia; the “Evening Mirror,” the “Broadway Journal,” and “Godey’s Lady’s Book” in New York. Throughout, Poe’s life was one of relentless work. No stories and poems were ever created at a greater expense of intellect and emotion.

Poe’s initial salary with the “Southern Literary Messenger,” to which he contributed the first drafts of a number of his best-known tales, was $10 a week! Two years later his salary was but $600 a year. Even in 1844, when his literary reputation was established securely, he wrote to a friend expressing his pleasure because a magazine to which he was to contribute had agreed to pay him $20 monthly for two pages of criticism.

Poe’s first salary with the “Southern Literary Messenger,” where he wrote the first drafts of some of his most famous stories, was just $10 a week! Two years later, he was making only $600 a year. Even in 1844, when he had firmly established his literary reputation, he wrote to a friend, sharing his excitement that a magazine he was going to write for had agreed to pay him $20 a month for two pages of critique.

Those were discouraging times in American literature, but Poe never lost faith. He was finally to triumph wherever pre-eminent talents win admirers. His genius has had no better description than in this stanza from William Winter’s poem, read at the dedication exercises of the Actors’ Monument to Poe, May 4, 1885, in New York:

Those were tough times in American literature, but Poe never lost hope. He was destined to succeed wherever outstanding talents gain followers. His genius has been described best in this stanza from William Winter’s poem, read at the dedication of the Actors’ Monument to Poe, May 4, 1885, in New York:

He was the voice of beauty and of woe,
Passion and mystery and the dread unknown;
Pure as the mountains of perpetual snow,
Cold as the icy winds that round them moan,
Dark as the caves wherein earth’s thunders groan,
Wild as the tempests of the upper sky,
Sweet as the faint, far-off celestial tone of angel whispers, fluttering from on high,
And tender as love’s tear when youth and beauty die.

He was the voice of beauty and sorrow,
Passion and mystery and the terrifying unknown;
Pure as the mountains covered in permanent snow,
Cold as the icy winds that moan around them,
Dark as the caves where the earth's thunders rumble,
Wild as the storms in the sky above,
Sweet as the soft, distant celestial sound of angel whispers, fluttering from above,
And tender as a tear of love when youth and beauty fade away.

In the two and a half score years that have elapsed since Poe’s death he has come fully into his own. For a while Griswold’s malignant misrepresentations colored the public estimate of Poe as man and as writer. But, thanks to J. H. Ingram, W. F. Gill, Eugene Didier, Sarah Helen Whitman and others these scandals have been dispelled and Poe is seen as he actually was—not as a man without failings, it is true, but as the finest and most original genius in American letters. As the years go on his fame increases. His works have been translated into many foreign languages. His is a household name in France and England—in fact, the latter nation has often uttered the reproach that Poe’s own country has been slow to appreciate him. But that reproach, if it ever was warranted, certainly is untrue.

In the two and a half score years since Poe's death, he has truly come into his own. For a while, Griswold's harmful misrepresentations affected how the public viewed Poe as a person and as a writer. However, thanks to J. H. Ingram, W. F. Gill, Eugene Didier, Sarah Helen Whitman, and others, these scandals have been cleared up, and Poe is now recognized for who he really was—not that he was without flaws, but as the most brilliant and unique talent in American literature. As time goes on, his fame only grows. His works have been translated into many foreign languages. He is a well-known name in France and England—in fact, England has often complained that Poe’s own country has been slow to appreciate him. But that complaint, if it ever had any validity, is certainly not true anymore.

W. H. R.

W.H.R.

EDGAR ALLAN POE

By James Russell Lowell

By James Russell Lowell

The situation of American literature is anomalous. It has no centre, or, if it have, it is like that of the sphere of Hermes. It is divided into many systems, each revolving round its several suns, and often presenting to the rest only the faint glimmer of a milk-and-water way. Our capital city, unlike London or Paris, is not a great central heart from which life and vigor radiate to the extremities, but resembles more an isolated umbilicus stuck down as near as may be to the centre of the land, and seeming rather to tell a legend of former usefulness than to serve any present need. Boston, New York, Philadelphia, each has its literature almost more distinct than those of the different dialects of Germany; and the Young Queen of the West has also one of her own, of which some articulate rumor barely has reached us dwellers by the Atlantic.

The state of American literature is unusual. It lacks a central hub, or if it does have one, it's more like the orbit of Hermes. It's broken into various systems, each revolving around its own sources of inspiration, and often only revealing a faint glimpse of a diluted version of creativity. Our capital city, unlike London or Paris, isn't a bustling heart from which energy and life spread outward, but instead resembles an isolated point stuck as close as possible to the center of the country, appearing more like a relic of past importance rather than serving any current purpose. Boston, New York, Philadelphia—each has its own literature that's almost more distinct than the different dialects in Germany; and even the Young Queen of the West boasts her own literary scene, of which only the faintest whispers have reached us on the Atlantic coast.

Perhaps there is no task more difficult than the just criticism of contemporary literature. It is even more grateful to give praise where it is needed than where it is deserved, and friendship so often seduces the iron stylus of justice into a vague flourish, that she writes what seems rather like an epitaph than a criticism. Yet if praise be given as an alms, we could not drop so poisonous a one into any man’s hat. The critic’s ink may suffer equally from too large an infusion of nutgalls or of sugar. But it is easier to be generous than to be just, and we might readily put faith in that fabulous direction to the hiding place of truth, did we judge from the amount of water which we usually find mixed with it.

Perhaps there’s no task more challenging than fairly critiquing modern literature. It's often more satisfying to give praise where it’s due than where it’s earned, and friendships frequently lead to a kind of leniency that resembles an epitaph more than a real critique. However, if praise is given as charity, we wouldn't want to drop such a toxic gift into anyone’s hat. A critic’s ink can suffer just as much from being overly bitter or excessively sweet. But it’s easier to be generous than to be fair, and we might easily believe in that legendary path to the truth, if we judged by how much water we usually find mixed in with it.

Remarkable experiences are usually confined to the inner life of imaginative men, but Mr. Poe’s biography displays a vicissitude and peculiarity of interest such as is rarely met with. The offspring of a romantic marriage, and left an orphan at an early age, he was adopted by Mr. Allan, a wealthy Virginian, whose barren marriage-bed seemed the warranty of a large estate to the young poet.

Remarkable experiences are often limited to the inner lives of creative individuals, but Mr. Poe's biography shows a range of ups and downs and unique interests that are rarely seen. Born from a romantic marriage and orphaned at a young age, he was taken in by Mr. Allan, a wealthy Virginian, whose unfruitful marriage seemed to promise a large inheritance for the young poet.

Having received a classical education in England, he returned home and entered the University of Virginia, where, after an extravagant course, followed by reformation at the last extremity, he was graduated with the highest honors of his class. Then came a boyish attempt to join the fortunes of the insurgent Greeks, which ended at St. Petersburg, where he got into difficulties through want of a passport, from which he was rescued by the American consul and sent home. He now entered the military academy at West Point, from which he obtained a dismissal on hearing of the birth of a son to his adopted father, by a second marriage, an event which cut off his expectations as an heir. The death of Mr. Allan, in whose will his name was not mentioned, soon after relieved him of all doubt in this regard, and he committed himself at once to authorship for a support. Previously to this, however, he had published (in 1827) a small volume of poems, which soon ran through three editions, and excited high expectations of its author’s future distinction in the minds of many competent judges.

Having received a classical education in England, he returned home and enrolled at the University of Virginia, where, after a wild and extravagant time, followed by a last-minute turnaround, he graduated with the highest honors in his class. Then came a youthful attempt to join the cause of the insurgent Greeks, which ended in St. Petersburg, where he encountered problems due to not having a passport. He was rescued by the American consul and sent back home. He then entered the military academy at West Point but was dismissed upon hearing that his adopted father had a son from a second marriage, an event that dashed his hopes of being an heir. The death of Mr. Allan, who hadn’t mentioned him in his will, soon confirmed his doubts, and he immediately turned to writing for support. Before this, however, he had published a small volume of poems in 1827, which quickly went through three editions and sparked high hopes for the author's future success among many knowledgeable critics.

That no certain augury can be drawn from a poet’s earliest lispings there are instances enough to prove. Shakespeare’s first poems, though brimful of vigor and youth and picturesqueness, give but a very faint promise of the directness, condensation and overflowing moral of his maturer works. Perhaps, however, Shakespeare is hardly a case in point, his “Venus and Adonis” having been published, we believe, in his twenty-sixth year. Milton’s Latin verses show tenderness, a fine eye for nature, and a delicate appreciation of classic models, but give no hint of the author of a new style in poetry. Pope’s youthful pieces have all the sing-song, wholly unrelieved by the glittering malignity and eloquent irreligion of his later productions. Collins’ callow namby-pamby died and gave no sign of the vigorous and original genius which he afterward displayed. We have never thought that the world lost more in the “marvellous boy,” Chatterton, than a very ingenious imitator of obscure and antiquated dulness. Where he becomes original (as it is called), the interest of ingenuity ceases and he becomes stupid. Kirke White’s promises were indorsed by the respectable name of Mr. Southey, but surely with no authority from Apollo. They have the merit of a traditional piety, which to our mind, if uttered at all, had been less objectionable in the retired closet of a diary, and in the sober raiment of prose. They do not clutch hold of the memory with the drowning pertinacity of Watts; neither have they the interest of his occasional simple, lucky beauty. Burns having fortunately been rescued by his humble station from the contaminating society of the “Best models,” wrote well and naturally from the first. Had he been unfortunate enough to have had an educated taste, we should have had a series of poems from which, as from his letters, we could sift here and there a kernel from the mass of chaff. Coleridge’s youthful efforts give no promise whatever of that poetical genius which produced at once the wildest, tenderest, most original and most purely imaginative poems of modern times. Byron’s “Hours of Idleness” would never find a reader except from an intrepid and indefatigable curiosity. In Wordsworth’s first preludings there is but a dim foreboding of the creator of an era. From Southey’s early poems, a safer augury might have been drawn. They show the patient investigator, the close student of history, and the unwearied explorer of the beauties of predecessors, but they give no assurances of a man who should add aught to stock of household words, or to the rarer and more sacred delights of the fireside or the arbor. The earliest specimens of Shelley’s poetic mind already, also, give tokens of that ethereal sublimation in which the spirit seems to soar above the regions of words, but leaves its body, the verse, to be entombed, without hope of resurrection, in a mass of them. Cowley is generally instanced as a wonder of precocity. But his early insipidities show only a capacity for rhyming and for the metrical arrangement of certain conventional combinations of words, a capacity wholly dependent on a delicate physical organization, and an unhappy memory. An early poem is only remarkable when it displays an effort of reason, and the rudest verses in which we can trace some conception of the ends of poetry, are worth all the miracles of smooth juvenile versification. A school-boy, one would say, might acquire the regular see-saw of Pope merely by an association with the motion of the play-ground tilt.

There are plenty of examples to show that you can't predict a poet's future talent from their earliest attempts. Shakespeare’s first poems, though full of energy, youth, and vivid imagery, offer only a slight hint of the directness, clarity, and profound lessons found in his later works. However, Shakespeare might not be the best example since “Venus and Adonis” was published when he was around twenty-six. Milton’s Latin poems display sensitivity, a keen appreciation for nature, and an understanding of classical styles, but they don’t suggest that he would create a new style of poetry. Pope’s early writings have the same sing-song quality, lacking the sharp wit and eloquent irreverence found in his later works. Collins' youthful work seemed weak and showed no signs of the strong and unique talent he later revealed. We’ve never believed that the world lost much when it came to the “marvelous boy,” Chatterton, who seemed more like a clever imitator of outdated dullness. Where he did show originality, the cleverness faded, and he appeared foolish instead. Kirke White had promises backed by the respected Mr. Southey, but surely not by any divine authority. Their work reflects a traditional piety that, in our opinion, would have been better expressed in the private pages of a diary and in plain prose. They don’t stick in the memory like Watts' works; nor do they carry the charm of his occasional simple beauty. Burns, fortunately saved from the corrupting influences of the “Best models” due to his humble background, wrote well and authentically from the start. If he had had the misfortune of refined tastes, he would have produced a collection of poems from which we could only sift a few gems from a pile of nonsense. Coleridge’s early poems show no sign of the poetic genius that would later produce some of the most original and imaginative works of modern poetry. Byron’s “Hours of Idleness” would attract readers only through an intrepid and tireless curiosity. In Wordsworth’s early pieces, there’s only a faint hint of the creator of a new literary era. One could draw a safer prediction from Southey’s early poems. They suggest a diligent researcher, a keen historian, and a tireless admirer of past beauties, but they don’t give any indication that he would contribute anything significant to the common lexicon or to the rarer and more cherished joys of home life. The first glimpses of Shelley’s poetic talent also hint at that lofty sublimation where the spirit seems to rise above mere words, leaving the verse, its physical form, buried without any hope of revival. Cowley is often cited as a prodigy, but his early bland works only showcase a knack for rhyming and arranging conventional combinations of words, dependent entirely on a delicate physique and a poor memory. An early poem is only impressive if it shows a clear effort of reasoning, and even the rudest verses that hint at the purpose of poetry are worth more than the polished juvenile rhymes. A schoolboy might master Pope’s regular rhythm just by playing on the playground swings.

Mr. Poe’s early productions show that he could see through the verse to the spirit beneath, and that he already had a feeling that all the life and grace of the one must depend on and be modulated by the will of the other. We call them the most remarkable boyish poems that we have ever read. We know of none that can compare with them for maturity of purpose, and a nice understanding of the effects of language and metre. Such pieces are only valuable when they display what we can only express by the contradictory phrase of innate experience. We copy one of the shorter poems, written when the author was only fourteen. There is a little dimness in the filling up, but the grace and symmetry of the outline are such as few poets ever attain. There is a smack of ambrosia about it.

Mr. Poe’s early work shows that he could see past the words to the spirit underneath, and he already understood that all the life and elegance of one must depend on and be shaped by the will of the other. We consider them the most impressive youthful poems we've ever read. We know of none that can match them for clarity of purpose and a keen understanding of the effects of language and meter. Such pieces are only valuable when they show what we can only describe with the contradictory phrase of innate experience. We’ve included one of the shorter poems, written when the author was only fourteen. There’s a bit of haziness in the details, but the grace and balance of the overall structure are something few poets ever achieve. It has a touch of ambrosia about it.

TO HELEN

TO HELEN

Helen, thy beauty is to me
    Like those Nicean barks of yore,
That gently, o’er a perfumed sea,
    The weary, way-worn wanderer bore
To his own native shore.

On desperate seas long wont to roam,
    Thy hyacinth hair, thy classic face,
Thy Naiad airs have brought me home
    To the glory that was Greece
And the grandeur that was Rome.

Lo! in yon brilliant window-niche
    How statue-like I see thee stand!
The agate lamp within thy hand,
    Ah! Psyche, from the regions which
Are Holy Land!

Helen, your beauty is to me
    Like those ships from ancient times,
That gently, over a fragrant sea,
    Carried the tired, wandering traveler
To his own homeland.

On desperate seas I’ve long roamed,
    Your hyacinth hair, your classic face,
Your water nymph charm have brought me home
    To the glory that was Greece
And the greatness that was Rome.

Look! In that bright window niche
    How statue-like I see you stand!
The agate lamp in your hand,
    Ah! Psyche, from the places which
Are the Holy Land!

It is the tendency of the young poet that impresses us. Here is no “withering scorn,” no heart “blighted” ere it has safely got into its teens, none of the drawing-room sansculottism which Byron had brought into vogue. All is limpid and serene, with a pleasant dash of the Greek Helicon in it. The melody of the whole, too, is remarkable. It is not of that kind which can be demonstrated arithmetically upon the tips of the fingers. It is of that finer sort which the inner ear alone can estimate. It seems simple, like a Greek column, because of its perfection. In a poem named “Ligeia,” under which title he intended to personify the music of nature, our boy-poet gives us the following exquisite picture:

It’s the young poet’s perspective that impresses us. There’s no “withering scorn,” no heart “blighted” before it even hits its teenage years, and none of the drawing-room radicalism that Byron made popular. Everything is clear and peaceful, with a nice touch of Greek inspiration to it. The overall melody is also remarkable. It’s not the kind that can be easily counted out on your fingers. It’s a more refined type that can only be appreciated by the inner ear. It seems simple, like a Greek column, because of its perfection. In a poem called “Ligeia,” which he intended to represent the music of nature, our young poet provides the following beautiful image:

    Ligeia! Ligeia!
My beautiful one,
    Whose harshest idea
Will to melody run,
    Say, is it thy will,
On the breezes to toss,
    Or, capriciously still,
Like the lone albatross,
    Incumbent on night,
As she on the air,
    To keep watch with delight
On the harmony there?

Ligeia! Ligeia!
My beautiful one,
    Whose harshest thought
Turns to melody,
    Tell me, is it your wish,
To dance on the breezes,
    Or, whimsically calm,
Like the solitary albatross,
    Soaring through the night,
As she glides on the air,
    To watch with joy
Over the harmony there?

John Neal, himself a man of genius, and whose lyre has been too long capriciously silent, appreciated the high merit of these and similar passages, and drew a proud horoscope for their author.

John Neal, a truly talented man, whose creativity has been quiet for too long, recognized the great value of these and similar excerpts and anticipated a bright future for their writer.

Mr. Poe had that indescribable something which men have agreed to call genius. No man could ever tell us precisely what it is, and yet there is none who is not inevitably aware of its presence and its power. Let talent writhe and contort itself as it may, it has no such magnetism. Larger of bone and sinew it may be, but the wings are wanting. Talent sticks fast to earth, and its most perfect works have still one foot of clay. Genius claims kindred with the very workings of Nature herself, so that a sunset shall seem like a quotation from Dante, and if Shakespeare be read in the very presence of the sea itself, his verses shall but seem nobler for the sublime criticism of ocean. Talent may make friends for itself, but only genius can give to its creations the divine power of winning love and veneration. Enthusiasm cannot cling to what itself is unenthusiastic, nor will he ever have disciples who has not himself impulsive zeal enough to be a disciple. Great wits are allied to madness only inasmuch as they are possessed and carried away by their demon, while talent keeps him, as Paracelsus did, securely prisoned in the pommel of his sword. To the eye of genius, the veil of the spiritual world is ever rent asunder that it may perceive the ministers of good and evil who throng continually around it. No man of mere talent ever flung his inkstand at the devil.

Mr. Poe had that indescribable quality that people call genius. No one can explain exactly what it is, yet everyone is aware of its presence and power. Talent can twist and turn however it likes, but it doesn’t have that same magnetism. It may be larger in scope, but it lacks the wings. Talent remains grounded, and its most polished works still have a foot in the mundane. Genius connects with the very essence of Nature itself, making a sunset feel like a quote from Dante, and reading Shakespeare by the sea makes his verses seem even nobler against the backdrop of the ocean. Talent can gather friends, but only genius can imbue its creations with the divine ability to inspire love and reverence. Enthusiasm can’t stick to what lacks enthusiasm, and someone without enough passion to be a disciple will never have followers. Great minds are linked to madness only when they are overtaken by their inner demons, while talent keeps its demons, as Paracelsus did, locked away in the hilt of its sword. To the eye of genius, the veil of the spiritual world is always torn away, allowing it to see the forces of good and evil that constantly surround it. No mere talent ever threw his ink well at the devil.

When we say that Mr. Poe had genius, we do not mean to say that he has produced evidence of the highest. But to say that he possesses it at all is to say that he needs only zeal, industry, and a reverence for the trust reposed in him, to achieve the proudest triumphs and the greenest laurels. If we may believe the Longinuses and Aristotles of our newspapers, we have quite too many geniuses of the loftiest order to render a place among them at all desirable, whether for its hardness of attainment or its seclusion. The highest peak of our Parnassus is, according to these gentlemen, by far the most thickly settled portion of the country, a circumstance which must make it an uncomfortable residence for individuals of a poetical temperament, if love of solitude be, as immemorial tradition asserts, a necessary part of their idiosyncrasy.

When we say that Mr. Poe had talent, we don’t mean that he has shown the highest level of it. But saying that he has any talent at all suggests that with enough enthusiasm, hard work, and respect for the responsibility placed upon him, he could achieve great success and recognition. If we are to believe the critics in our newspapers, we have way too many extraordinary talents out there, making it less appealing to join their ranks, whether because of the difficulty in reaching that level or the isolation it brings. According to these experts, the highest peak of our creative community is actually the most crowded area, which must be uncomfortable for those with a poetic nature, especially if a love of solitude is, as tradition says, an essential part of who they are.

Mr. Poe has two of the prime qualities of genius, a faculty of vigorous yet minute analysis, and a wonderful fecundity of imagination. The first of these faculties is as needful to the artist in words, as a knowledge of anatomy is to the artist in colors or in stone. This enables him to conceive truly, to maintain a proper relation of parts, and to draw a correct outline, while the second groups, fills up and colors. Both of these Mr. Poe has displayed with singular distinctness in his prose works, the last predominating in his earlier tales, and the first in his later ones. In judging of the merit of an author, and assigning him his niche among our household gods, we have a right to regard him from our own point of view, and to measure him by our own standard. But, in estimating the amount of power displayed in his works, we must be governed by his own design, and placing them by the side of his own ideal, find how much is wanting. We differ from Mr. Poe in his opinions of the objects of art. He esteems that object to be the creation of Beauty, and perhaps it is only in the definition of that word that we disagree with him. But in what we shall say of his writings, we shall take his own standard as our guide. The temple of the god of song is equally accessible from every side, and there is room enough in it for all who bring offerings, or seek in oracle.

Mr. Poe has two key qualities of genius: a strong yet detailed ability to analyze, and a remarkable creativity. The first quality is just as essential for a word artist as understanding anatomy is for a painter or sculptor. This allows him to truly envision, keep an appropriate relationship between parts, and create an accurate outline, while the second aspect helps to group, fill in, and add color. Mr. Poe has shown both with notable clarity in his prose, with creativity dominating his earlier stories and analysis taking precedence in his later works. When judging an author's merit and deciding their place among our favorites, we have the right to view them from our perspective and measure them by our standards. However, when assessing the power shown in his works, we must follow his own intentions and compare them to his ideal to see what is lacking. We disagree with Mr. Poe regarding his views on the purpose of art. He believes its purpose is to create beauty, and perhaps our only disagreement lies in how we define that term. But in discussing his writings, we will use his own standards as our reference. The temple of the god of song is open from every direction, and there’s enough space for everyone who brings offerings or seeks guidance.

In his tales, Mr. Poe has chosen to exhibit his power chiefly in that dim region which stretches from the very utmost limits of the probable into the weird confines of superstition and unreality. He combines in a very remarkable manner two faculties which are seldom found united; a power of influencing the mind of the reader by the impalpable shadows of mystery, and a minuteness of detail which does not leave a pin or a button unnoticed. Both are, in truth, the natural results of the predominating quality of his mind, to which we have before alluded, analysis. It is this which distinguishes the artist. His mind at once reaches forward to the effect to be produced. Having resolved to bring about certain emotions in the reader, he makes all subordinate parts tend strictly to the common centre. Even his mystery is mathematical to his own mind. To him X is a known quantity all along. In any picture that he paints he understands the chemical properties of all his colors. However vague some of his figures may seem, however formless the shadows, to him the outline is as clear and distinct as that of a geometrical diagram. For this reason Mr. Poe has no sympathy with Mysticism. The Mystic dwells in the mystery, is enveloped with it; it colors all his thoughts; it affects his optic nerve especially, and the commonest things get a rainbow edging from it. Mr. Poe, on the other hand, is a spectator ab extra. He analyzes, he dissects, he watches

In his stories, Mr. Poe shows off his talent mainly in that murky area that stretches from the farthest edges of what’s believable into the strange realms of superstition and fantasy. He combines two abilities that are rarely seen together: a knack for captivating the reader’s mind with the intangible shadows of mystery, and an attention to detail that doesn’t overlook even the smallest things, like a pin or a button. Both of these are really the natural results of the dominant feature of his mind, which we mentioned earlier—analysis. This is what sets the artist apart. His mind reaches out to the effect he wants to create. Once he decides to evoke certain emotions in the reader, he makes sure all the details work together toward that central goal. Even his mystery is logical in his mind. For him, X is a known value from the start. In any scene he creates, he understands the chemical properties of all his colors. No matter how vague his images might appear or how formless the shadows seem, to him, the outline is as clear and precise as a geometric diagram. This is why Mr. Poe has no affinity for Mysticism. The Mystic is absorbed in the mystery, wrapped up in it; it influences all his thoughts and especially affects his vision, making even the simplest things look colorful and extraordinary. Mr. Poe, on the other hand, is an outside observer. He analyzes, he dissects, he observes.

    “with an eye serene,
The very pulse of the machine,”

“with a calm gaze,
The very heartbeat of the machine,”

for such it practically is to him, with wheels and cogs and piston-rods, all working to produce a certain end.

for that's basically what it is to him, with wheels, gears, and piston rods, all working together to achieve a specific goal.

This analyzing tendency of his mind balances the poetical, and by giving him the patience to be minute, enables him to throw a wonderful reality into his most unreal fancies. A monomania he paints with great power. He loves to dissect one of these cancers of the mind, and to trace all the subtle ramifications of its roots. In raising images of horror, also, he has strange success, conveying to us sometimes by a dusky hint some terrible doubt which is the secret of all horror. He leaves to imagination the task of finishing the picture, a task to which only she is competent.

This analytical nature of his mind balances the poetic, and by giving him the patience to focus on details, allows him to create a remarkable reality within his most fantastical ideas. He powerfully depicts a singular obsession. He enjoys breaking down one of these mental afflictions and tracking all the intricate connections of its roots. In evoking images of horror, he also achieves a strange success, sometimes revealing to us through a shadowy suggestion some terrible doubt that lies at the heart of all horror. He leaves it to the imagination to complete the picture, a task only it can handle.

“For much imaginary work was there;
Conceit deceitful, so compact, so kind,
That for Achilles’ image stood his spear
Grasped in an armed hand; himself behind
Was left unseen, save to the eye of mind.”

“For there was a lot of imaginary work;
Deceptive ideas, so detailed, so friendly,
That the image of Achilles was represented by his spear
Held in an armored hand; he himself was left unseen,
Except to the eye of the mind.”

Besides the merit of conception, Mr. Poe’s writings have also that of form.

Besides the quality of the ideas, Mr. Poe’s writings also have a strong sense of style.

His style is highly finished, graceful and truly classical. It would be hard to find a living author who had displayed such varied powers. As an example of his style we would refer to one of his tales, “The House of Usher,” in the first volume of his “Tales of the Grotesque and Arabesque.” It has a singular charm for us, and we think that no one could read it without being strongly moved by its serene and sombre beauty. Had its author written nothing else, it would alone have been enough to stamp him as a man of genius, and the master of a classic style. In this tale occurs, perhaps, the most beautiful of his poems.

His writing style is highly refined, elegant, and truly classical. It's hard to find a contemporary author who has shown such diverse skills. One example of his style is found in his story, “The House of Usher,” from the first volume of his “Tales of the Grotesque and Arabesque.” It has a unique charm for us, and we believe that no one could read it without being deeply affected by its calm yet dark beauty. If the author had written nothing else, this story alone would have been enough to establish him as a genius and a master of a classic writing style. In this tale, you can find perhaps the most beautiful of his poems.

The great masters of imagination have seldom resorted to the vague and the unreal as sources of effect. They have not used dread and horror alone, but only in combination with other qualities, as means of subjugating the fancies of their readers. The loftiest muse has ever a household and fireside charm about her. Mr. Poe’s secret lies mainly in the skill with which he has employed the strange fascination of mystery and terror. In this his success is so great and striking as to deserve the name of art, not artifice. We cannot call his materials the noblest or purest, but we must concede to him the highest merit of construction.

The great masters of imagination rarely turned to the vague and the unreal for effect. They didn’t rely solely on fear and horror, but used them alongside other qualities to captivate their readers' imaginations. The highest inspiration always carries a charm of home and warmth. Mr. Poe’s secret mainly lies in how skillfully he uses the captivating allure of mystery and terror. His success in this regard is so remarkable that it deserves to be called art, not trickery. While we may not consider his materials the noblest or purest, we must acknowledge his exceptional talent for construction.

As a critic, Mr. Poe was aesthetically deficient. Unerring in his analysis of dictions, metres and plots, he seemed wanting in the faculty of perceiving the profounder ethics of art. His criticisms are, however, distinguished for scientific precision and coherence of logic. They have the exactness, and at the same time, the coldness of mathematical demonstrations. Yet they stand in strikingly refreshing contrast with the vague generalisms and sharp personalities of the day. If deficient in warmth, they are also without the heat of partisanship. They are especially valuable as illustrating the great truth, too generally overlooked, that analytic power is a subordinate quality of the critic.

As a critic, Mr. Poe lacked aesthetic sensitivity. While he was spot-on in his analysis of language, forms, and plots, he seemed unable to grasp the deeper ethical aspects of art. His critiques are marked by scientific accuracy and clear logic. They have the precision, yet also the coldness, of mathematical proofs. Still, they stand out in a refreshing way compared to the vague generalizations and strong personalities of his time. Although lacking in warmth, they also avoid the heat of bias. They are particularly valuable for highlighting the important truth that analytical skill is a secondary quality for a critic.

On the whole, it may be considered certain that Mr. Poe has attained an individual eminence in our literature which he will keep. He has given proof of power and originality. He has done that which could only be done once with success or safety, and the imitation or repetition of which would produce weariness.

Overall, it’s clear that Mr. Poe has reached a unique level of recognition in our literature that he will maintain. He has demonstrated power and originality. He has accomplished something that can only be successfully or safely done once, and trying to imitate or repeat it would only lead to boredom.

DEATH OF EDGAR A. POE

By N. P. Willis

By N. P. Willis

The ancient fable of two antagonistic spirits imprisoned in one body, equally powerful and having the complete mastery by turns-of one man, that is to say, inhabited by both a devil and an angel seems to have been realized, if all we hear is true, in the character of the extraordinary man whose name we have written above. Our own impression of the nature of Edgar A. Poe, differs in some important degree, however, from that which has been generally conveyed in the notices of his death. Let us, before telling what we personally know of him, copy a graphic and highly finished portraiture, from the pen of Dr. Rufus W. Griswold, which appeared in a recent number of the “Tribune”:

The ancient fable of two opposing spirits trapped in one body, equally powerful and taking turns controlling one person—essentially, a mix of a devil and an angel—seems to have come to life, if all we hear is true, in the extraordinary man we mentioned earlier. However, our impression of Edgar A. Poe's character differs in some significant ways from what has generally been shared in the reports following his death. Before we share what we personally know about him, let’s include a vivid and well-crafted description from Dr. Rufus W. Griswold that appeared in a recent issue of the “Tribune”:

“Edgar Allen Poe is dead. He died in Baltimore on Sunday, October 7th. This announcement will startle many, but few will be grieved by it. The poet was known, personally or by reputation, in all this country; he had readers in England and in several of the states of Continental Europe; but he had few or no friends; and the regrets for his death will be suggested principally by the consideration that in him literary art has lost one of its most brilliant but erratic stars.

“Edgar Allan Poe has passed away. He died in Baltimore on Sunday, October 7th. This news will shock many, but few will mourn him. The poet was known, either personally or by reputation, throughout the country; he had readers in England and in several countries in Continental Europe; but he had few or no friends; and the sorrow over his death will mainly come from the fact that literary art has lost one of its most brilliant yet unpredictable stars."

“His conversation was at times almost supramortal in its eloquence. His voice was modulated with astonishing skill, and his large and variably expressive eyes looked repose or shot fiery tumult into theirs who listened, while his own face glowed, or was changeless in pallor, as his imagination quickened his blood or drew it back frozen to his heart. His imagery was from the worlds which no mortals can see but with the vision of genius. Suddenly starting from a proposition, exactly and sharply defined, in terms of utmost simplicity and clearness, he rejected the forms of customary logic, and by a crystalline process of accretion, built up his ocular demonstrations in forms of gloomiest and ghastliest grandeur, or in those of the most airy and delicious beauty, so minutely and distinctly, yet so rapidly, that the attention which was yielded to him was chained till it stood among his wonderful creations, till he himself dissolved the spell, and brought his hearers back to common and base existence, by vulgar fancies or exhibitions of the ignoblest passion.

“His conversation was sometimes almost supernatural in its eloquence. His voice was skillfully modulated, and his large, expressive eyes conveyed calmness or sparked intense emotion in those who listened, while his own face either glowed or remained pale, depending on whether his imagination quickened his blood or froze it back to his heart. His imagery came from worlds that only geniuses can see. Suddenly launching from a proposition that was precisely defined in simple and clear terms, he rejected traditional logic, and through a crystal-clear process, he built up his visual demonstrations into forms of the darkest and most horrifying grandeur, or those of the lightest and most delightful beauty, so meticulously and distinctly, yet so quickly, that the attention given to him remained captivated until he dissolved the spell and brought his listeners back to ordinary, mundane existence with trivial thoughts or displays of the lowest passions.

“He was at all times a dreamer dwelling in ideal realms in heaven or hell peopled with the creatures and the accidents of his brain. He walked the streets, in madness or melancholy, with lips moving in indistinct curses, or with eyes upturned in passionate prayer (never for himself, for he felt, or professed to feel, that he was already damned, but) for their happiness who at the moment were objects of his idolatry; or with his glances introverted to a heart gnawed with anguish, and with a face shrouded in gloom, he would brave the wildest storms, and all night, with drenched garments and arms beating the winds and rains, would speak as if the spirits that at such times only could be evoked by him from the Aidenn, close by whose portals his disturbed soul sought to forget the ills to which his constitution subjected him—close by the Aidenn where were those he loved—the Aidenn which he might never see, but in fitful glimpses, as its gates opened to receive the less fiery and more happy natures whose destiny to sin did not involve the doom of death.

He was always a dreamer, living in ideal worlds of heaven or hell filled with the creatures and incidents from his mind. He wandered the streets, either in madness or sadness, muttering indistinct curses or raising his eyes in passionate prayer (not for himself, since he felt, or claimed to feel, that he was already damned, but) for the happiness of those who were currently the objects of his devotion; or with his gaze turned inward to a heart tormented by anguish, and with a face clouded in gloom, he would brave the fiercest storms, and all night, soaked and with arms against the wind and rain, he would speak as if the spirits that could only be called upon by him from the Aidenn, near which his troubled soul sought to forget the troubles brought by his condition—near the Aidenn where those he loved were— the Aidenn that he might never see but in fleeting glimpses, as its gates opened to welcome the less tortured and happier souls whose fate did not lead to the doom of death.

“He seemed, except when some fitful pursuit subjugated his will and engrossed his faculties, always to bear the memory of some controlling sorrow. The remarkable poem of ‘The Raven’ was probably much more nearly than has been supposed, even by those who were very intimate with him, a reflection and an echo of his own history. He was that bird’s

“He always seemed to carry the weight of some deep sorrow, except when he was caught up in a sudden obsession that took over his mind. The famous poem ‘The Raven’ was likely more closely tied to his own experiences than many people, even those who knew him well, have realized. He was that bird’s

    “‘Unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore—
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
    Of ‘Never—never more.’

"‘Unhappy master whom relentless Disaster
Followed closely and relentlessly until his songs had one theme—
Until the dirges of his Hope that sad burden carried
    Of ‘Never—never more.’"

“Every genuine author in a greater or less degree leaves in his works, whatever their design, traces of his personal character: elements of his immortal being, in which the individual survives the person. While we read the pages of the ‘Fall of the House of Usher,’ or of ‘Mesmeric Revelations,’ we see in the solemn and stately gloom which invests one, and in the subtle metaphysical analysis of both, indications of the idiosyncrasies of what was most remarkable and peculiar in the author’s intellectual nature. But we see here only the better phases of his nature, only the symbols of his juster action, for his harsh experience had deprived him of all faith in man or woman. He had made up his mind upon the numberless complexities of the social world, and the whole system with him was an imposture. This conviction gave a direction to his shrewd and naturally unamiable character. Still, though he regarded society as composed altogether of villains, the sharpness of his intellect was not of that kind which enabled him to cope with villany, while it continually caused him by overshots to fail of the success of honesty. He was in many respects like Francis Vivian in Bulwer’s novel of ‘The Caxtons.’ Passion, in him, comprehended many of the worst emotions which militate against human happiness. You could not contradict him, but you raised quick choler; you could not speak of wealth, but his cheek paled with gnawing envy. The astonishing natural advantages of this poor boy—his beauty, his readiness, the daring spirit that breathed around him like a fiery atmosphere—had raised his constitutional self-confidence into an arrogance that turned his very claims to admiration into prejudices against him. Irascible, envious—bad enough, but not the worst, for these salient angles were all varnished over with a cold, repellant cynicism, his passions vented themselves in sneers. There seemed to him no moral susceptibility; and, what was more remarkable in a proud nature, little or nothing of the true point of honor. He had, to a morbid excess, that, desire to rise which is vulgarly called ambition, but no wish for the esteem or the love of his species; only the hard wish to succeed—not shine, not serve—succeed, that he might have the right to despise a world which galled his self-conceit.

“Every true author, to some extent, leaves traces of their personal character in their works, regardless of their purpose: elements of their lasting essence, where the individual outlives the person. As we read ‘The Fall of the House of Usher’ or ‘Mesmeric Revelations,’ we can see the solemn and grand gloom that envelops one and the intricate metaphysical analysis in both, reflecting the unique quirks of what was most striking and individual in the author's mind. But we only witness the better sides of his nature here, only the symbols of his more righteous actions, since his harsh experiences had stripped him of all faith in humanity. He had formed a conclusion about the countless complexities of the social world, seeing it all as a deception. This belief shaped his sharp and naturally unlikable personality. Still, although he viewed society as entirely made up of villains, the keen edge of his intellect didn’t equip him to deal with wickedness, and often led him to fail in his honest attempts. In many ways, he resembled Francis Vivian from Bulwer’s novel ‘The Caxtons.’ His passions encompassed many of the worst emotions that hinder human happiness. You couldn’t contradict him without provoking quick anger; you couldn’t mention wealth without seeing his face pale with gnawing envy. The impressive natural advantages of this poor boy—his looks, his quickness, the bold spirit surrounding him like a fiery atmosphere—had inflated his inherent self-confidence into an arrogance that turned admiration into biases against him. Irascible and envious—bad enough, but not the worst—because these prominent flaws were all covered with a cold, repellent cynicism, and his passions often expressed themselves through sneers. He saw no moral sensitivity; and, more notably in a proud character, little or no sense of true honor. He had, to an unhealthy degree, the desire to rise, commonly known as ambition, but no desire for the respect or love of others; only the harsh wish to succeed—not to shine, not to serve—succeed, so he could claim the right to despise a world that irritated his self-importance.”

“We have suggested the influence of his aims and vicissitudes upon his literature. It was more conspicuous in his later than in his earlier writings. Nearly all that he wrote in the last two or three years—including much of his best poetry—was in some sense biographical; in draperies of his imagination, those who had taken the trouble to trace his steps, could perceive, but slightly concealed, the figure of himself.”

“We have pointed out how his goals and struggles affected his writing. This was more evident in his later works than in his earlier ones. Almost everything he wrote in the last couple of years—much of which is his best poetry—had some autobiographical element; those who took the time to look closely could see, albeit a bit hidden, parts of himself wrapped in the fabric of his imagination.”

Apropos of the disparaging portion of the above well-written sketch, let us truthfully say:

Apropos of the negative part of the above well-written sketch, let us honestly say:

Some four or five years since, when editing a daily paper in this city, Mr. Poe was employed by us, for several months, as critic and sub-editor. This was our first personal acquaintance with him. He resided with his wife and mother at Fordham, a few miles out of town, but was at his desk in the office, from nine in the morning till the evening paper went to press. With the highest admiration for his genius, and a willingness to let it atone for more than ordinary irregularity, we were led by common report to expect a very capricious attention to his duties, and occasionally a scene of violence and difficulty. Time went on, however, and he was invariably punctual and industrious. With his pale, beautiful, and intellectual face, as a reminder of what genius was in him, it was impossible, of course, not to treat him always with deferential courtesy, and, to our occasional request that he would not probe too deep in a criticism, or that he would erase a passage colored too highly with his resentments against society and mankind, he readily and courteously assented—far more yielding than most men, we thought, on points so excusably sensitive. With a prospect of taking the lead in another periodical, he, at last, voluntarily gave up his employment with us, and, through all this considerable period, we had seen but one presentment of the man—a quiet, patient, industrious, and most gentlemanly person, commanding the utmost respect and good feeling by his unvarying deportment and ability.

About four or five years ago, when we were editing a daily newspaper in this city, Mr. Poe worked with us for several months as a critic and sub-editor. This was our first personal interaction with him. He lived with his wife and mother in Fordham, a few miles outside of town, but he was at his desk in the office from nine in the morning until the evening paper went to press. Despite our high admiration for his talent and our willingness to overlook any typical irregularities, we had heard that he might be unpredictable in his duties and occasionally difficult to work with. However, as time went on, he was consistently punctual and hardworking. With his pale, beautiful, and intellectual face as a reminder of his genius, it was impossible not to treat him with utmost respect and courtesy. When we occasionally asked him not to delve too deeply in a critique or to tone down a passage that was too heavily influenced by his frustrations with society and humanity, he always agreed with us politely—more accommodating than we expected on such sensitive issues. Eventually, with the prospect of leading another publication, he voluntarily left his position with us. Throughout our time working together, we only saw one side of him—a quiet, patient, diligent, and truly gentlemanly individual, who earned our utmost respect and goodwill through his consistent behavior and skill.

Residing as he did in the country, we never met Mr. Poe in hours of leisure; but he frequently called on us afterward at our place of business, and we met him often in the street—invariably the same sad mannered, winning and refined gentleman, such as we had always known him. It was by rumor only, up to the day of his death, that we knew of any other development of manner or character. We heard, from one who knew him well (what should be stated in all mention of his lamentable irregularities), that, with a single glass of wine, his whole nature was reversed, the demon became uppermost, and, though none of the usual signs of intoxication were visible, his will was palpably insane. Possessing his reasoning faculties in excited activity, at such times, and seeking his acquaintances with his wonted look and memory, he easily seemed personating only another phase of his natural character, and was accused, accordingly, of insulting arrogance and bad-heartedness. In this reversed character, we repeat, it was never our chance to see him. We know it from hearsay, and we mention it in connection with this sad infirmity of physical constitution; which puts it upon very nearly the ground of a temporary and almost irresponsible insanity.

Living in the country, we never saw Mr. Poe during our free time; however, he often visited us at our place of work, and we frequently met him on the street—always the same sad, charming, and refined gentleman we had always known. Until the day he died, we only heard rumors about any changes in his behavior or character. We learned from someone who knew him well (which should be mentioned when discussing his unfortunate irregularities) that with just one glass of wine, his entire personality shifted; the darker side of him emerged, and even though he didn't show the usual signs of intoxication, his behavior was clearly irrational. During these times, although his reasoning faculties were in an excited state and he sought out friends with his familiar expression and memory, he easily appeared to be only another version of his true self, leading to accusations of arrogance and cruelty. In this altered state, we never had the opportunity to see him. We know of it through hearsay, and we mention it here in connection with this unfortunate physical condition, which almost places it in the realm of a temporary and nearly uncontrollable insanity.

The arrogance, vanity, and depravity of heart, of which Mr. Poe was generally accused, seem to us referable altogether to this reversed phase of his character. Under that degree of intoxication which only acted upon him by demonizing his sense of truth and right, he doubtless said and did much that was wholly irreconcilable with his better nature; but, when himself, and as we knew him only, his modesty and unaffected humility, as to his own deservings, were a constant charm to his character. His letters, of which the constant application for autographs has taken from us, we are sorry to confess, the greater portion, exhibited this quality very strongly. In one of the carelessly written notes of which we chance still to retain possession, for instance, he speaks of “The Raven”—that extraordinary poem which electrified the world of imaginative readers, and has become the type of a school of poetry of its own—and, in evident earnest, attributes its success to the few words of commendation with which we had prefaced it in this paper. It will throw light on his sane character to give a literal copy of the note:

The arrogance, vanity, and depravity of heart that Mr. Poe was usually accused of seem to us to be completely linked to this darker side of his personality. While under the kind of intoxication that twisted his sense of truth and right, he undoubtedly said and did things that were completely at odds with his better nature; however, when he was himself, as we knew him, his modesty and genuine humility about his own talents were a constant charm to his character. His letters, many of which we regret to admit have been lost to the constant requests for autographs, showcased this quality very strongly. In one of the casually written notes that we still happen to keep, for example, he talks about “The Raven”—that remarkable poem that captivated the world of imaginative readers and has become a standard for a whole genre of poetry—and, quite sincerely, credits its success to the few words of praise we had included in this paper. It will shed light on his true character to provide a literal copy of the note:

“FORDHAM, April 20, 1849

“Fordham, April 20, 1849"

“MY DEAR WILLIS—The poem which I inclose, and which I am so vain as to hope you will like, in some respects, has been just published in a paper for which sheer necessity compels me to write, now and then. It pays well as times go-but unquestionably it ought to pay ten prices; for whatever I send it I feel I am consigning to the tomb of the Capulets. The verses accompanying this, may I beg you to take out of the tomb, and bring them to light in the ‘Home Journal?’ If you can oblige me so far as to copy them, I do not think it will be necessary to say ‘From the ——,’ that would be too bad; and, perhaps, ‘From a late —— paper,’ would do.

“MY DEAR WILLIS—The poem I’m enclosing, which I hope you’ll like in some way, has just been published in a paper that I feel compelled to write for from time to time out of sheer necessity. It pays well for the times—but it definitely should pay ten times more; because whatever I send it, I feel like I’m putting it in the tomb of the Capulets. Would you please take the verses that accompany this out of the tomb and bring them to light in the ‘Home Journal?’ If you can do me the favor of copying them, I don’t think it’ll be necessary to say ‘From the ——,’ that would be too much; perhaps ‘From a recent —— paper’ would work.

“I have not forgotten how a ‘good word in season’ from you made ‘The Raven,’ and made ‘Ulalume’ (which by-the-way, people have done me the honor of attributing to you), therefore, I would ask you (if I dared) to say something of these lines if they please you.

“I haven’t forgotten how a ‘kind word at the right time’ from you helped make ‘The Raven,’ and made ‘Ulalume’ (which, by the way, people have honorably attributed to you), so I would like to ask you (if I dared) to say something about these lines if you like them.

“Truly yours ever,
“EDGAR A. POE.”

"Truly yours always,
“EDGAR A. POE.”

In double proof of his earnest disposition to do the best for himself, and of the trustful and grateful nature which has been denied him, we give another of the only three of his notes which we chance to retain:

In double proof of his sincere intention to do the best for himself, and of the trusting and grateful nature that has been withheld from him, we present another one of the only three notes we happen to keep:

“FORDHAM, January 22, 1848.

“Fordham, January 22, 1848.

“MY DEAR MR. WILLIS—I am about to make an effort at re-establishing myself in the literary world, and feel that I may depend upon your aid.

“MY DEAR MR. WILLIS—I’m about to try to re-establish myself in the literary world, and believe that I can count on your support.

“My general aim is to start a Magazine, to be called ‘The Stylus,’ but it would be useless to me, even when established, if not entirely out of the control of a publisher. I mean, therefore, to get up a journal which shall be my own at all points. With this end in view, I must get a list of at least five hundred subscribers to begin with; nearly two hundred I have already. I propose, however, to go South and West, among my personal and literary friends—old college and West Point acquaintances—and see what I can do. In order to get the means of taking the first step, I propose to lecture at the Society Library, on Thursday, the 3d of February, and, that there may be no cause of squabbling, my subject shall not be literary at all. I have chosen a broad text: ‘The Universe.’

“My main goal is to start a magazine called ‘The Stylus,’ but it would be pointless, even once established, if it’s not completely independent of any publisher. So, I intend to create a journal that is entirely mine in every aspect. To achieve this, I need to gather at least five hundred subscribers to start; I’ve already got nearly two hundred. However, I plan to travel South and West to reach out to my personal and literary friends—old college and West Point acquaintances—and see what I can achieve. To secure the funds for the first step, I will be giving a lecture at the Society Library on Thursday, February 3rd, and to avoid any potential arguments, my topic will not be literary at all. I’ve chosen a broad subject: ‘The Universe.’”

“Having thus given you the facts of the case, I leave all the rest to the suggestions of your own tact and generosity. Gratefully, most gratefully,

“Having shared with you the facts of the case, I leave everything else to your own judgment and kindness. Thank you, so very much,

“Your friend always,
“EDGAR A. POE.”

“Your friend always, “EDGAR A. POE.”

Brief and chance-taken as these letters are, we think they sufficiently prove the existence of the very qualities denied to Mr. Poe-humility, willingness to persevere, belief in another’s friendship, and capability of cordial and grateful friendship! Such he assuredly was when sane. Such only he has invariably seemed to us, in all we have happened personally to know of him, through a friendship of five or six years. And so much easier is it to believe what we have seen and known, than what we hear of only, that we remember him but with admiration and respect; these descriptions of him, when morally insane, seeming to us like portraits, painted in sickness, of a man we have only known in health.

Short and risky as these letters are, we believe they clearly show the qualities that people deny Mr. Poe—humility, a willingness to keep going, faith in others’ friendships, and the ability to be warm and grateful in friendship! He definitely displayed these traits when he was sane. That’s how we’ve always viewed him, based on our personal knowledge of him over five or six years of friendship. It’s so much easier to believe what we’ve seen and experienced than what we’ve only heard, which is why we remember him with admiration and respect. The portrayals of him when he was morally unwell feel to us like sickly paintings of a man we’ve known only in good health.

But there is another, more touching, and far more forcible evidence that there was goodness in Edgar A. Poe. To reveal it we are obliged to venture upon the lifting of the veil which sacredly covers grief and refinement in poverty; but we think it may be excused, if so we can brighten the memory of the poet, even were there not a more needed and immediate service which it may render to the nearest link broken by his death.

But there’s another, more touching, and much stronger proof that there was goodness in Edgar A. Poe. To show it, we have to lift the veil that respectfully covers grief and dignity in poverty; but we believe this can be justified if it helps to celebrate the memory of the poet, even if it also serves a more important and immediate purpose for those closest to him who were affected by his death.

Our first knowledge of Mr. Poe’s removal to this city was by a call which we received from a lady who introduced herself to us as the mother of his wife. She was in search of employment for him, and she excused her errand by mentioning that he was ill, that her daughter was a confirmed invalid, and that their circumstances were such as compelled her taking it upon herself. The countenance of this lady, made beautiful and saintly with an evidently complete giving up of her life to privation and sorrowful tenderness, her gentle and mournful voice urging its plea, her long-forgotten but habitually and unconsciously refined manners, and her appealing and yet appreciative mention of the claims and abilities of her son, disclosed at once the presence of one of those angels upon earth that women in adversity can be. It was a hard fate that she was watching over. Mr. Poe wrote with fastidious difficulty, and in a style too much above the popular level to be well paid. He was always in pecuniary difficulty, and, with his sick wife, frequently in want of the merest necessaries of life. Winter after winter, for years, the most touching sight to us, in this whole city, has been that tireless minister to genius, thinly and insufficiently clad, going from office to office with a poem, or an article on some literary subject, to sell, sometimes simply pleading in a broken voice that he was ill, and begging for him, mentioning nothing but that “he was ill,” whatever might be the reason for his writing nothing, and never, amid all her tears and recitals of distress, suffering one syllable to escape her lips that could convey a doubt of him, or a complaint, or a lessening of pride in his genius and good intentions. Her daughter died a year and a half since, but she did not desert him. She continued his ministering angel—living with him, caring for him, guarding him against exposure, and when he was carried away by temptation, amid grief and the loneliness of feelings unreplied to, and awoke from his self abandonment prostrated in destitution and suffering, begging for him still. If woman’s devotion, born with a first love, and fed with human passion, hallow its object, as it is allowed to do, what does not a devotion like this—pure, disinterested and holy as the watch of an invisible spirit—say for him who inspired it?

Our first awareness of Mr. Poe’s move to this city came from a call we received from a lady who identified herself as the mother of his wife. She was looking for work for him and explained her visit by saying that he was ill, that her daughter was a chronic invalid, and that their situation required her to take this initiative. The expression of this lady, beautiful and saintly from clearly having devoted her life to hardship and sorrowful love, her soft and mournful voice making its case, her long-forgotten but instinctively refined manners, and her heartfelt yet grateful mention of her son's talents and needs immediately revealed her as one of those angels on earth that women in tough times can be. She was caring for someone facing a harsh fate. Mr. Poe wrote with great difficulty and in a style that was a level above what the general public appreciated, which meant he wasn’t compensated well. He was constantly strapped for cash, and with his sick wife, often lacked even the most basic necessities of life. Year after year, what we found most moving in this entire city was that relentless supporter of genius, poorly and inadequately dressed, going from office to office with a poem or an article on some literary topic to sell, sometimes just pleading in a weak voice that he was ill, always asking for help while mentioning only that “he was ill,” regardless of why he hadn’t written anything, and never, amidst all her tears and stories of hardship, allowing a single word to escape her lips that could imply doubt, complaint, or a decrease in pride in his talent and good intentions. Her daughter passed away a year and a half ago, but she didn’t abandon him. She remained his guardian angel—living with him, taking care of him, protecting him from exposure, and when he succumbed to temptation, amid the grief and solitude of unreciprocated feelings, and when he awoke from his self-neglect lying in poverty and distress, begging for him still. If a woman's devotion, born out of initial love and sustained by human passion, can sanctify its object, as it often does, what does a devotion like this—pure, selfless, and sacred like the watch of an unseen spirit—say about the one who inspired it?

We have a letter before us, written by this lady, Mrs. Clemm, on the morning in which she heard of the death of this object of her untiring care. It is merely a request that we would call upon her, but we will copy a few of its words—sacred as its privacy is—to warrant the truth of the picture we have drawn above, and add force to the appeal we wish to make for her:

We have a letter in front of us, written by Mrs. Clemm on the morning she heard about the death of the person she cared for so deeply. It’s just a request for us to visit her, but we’ll share a few of its words—sacred as its privacy is—to support the truth of the picture we’ve painted above and strengthen the appeal we want to make for her:

“I have this morning heard of the death of my darling Eddie.... Can you give me any circumstances or particulars?... Oh! do not desert your poor friend in his bitter affliction!... Ask Mr. —— to come, as I must deliver a message to him from my poor Eddie.... I need not ask you to notice his death and to speak well of him. I know you will. But say what an affectionate son he was to me, his poor desolate mother...”

“I heard this morning about the death of my precious Eddie.... Can you share any details or specifics?... Oh! Please don’t desert your poor friend during this painful time!... Ask Mr. —— to come, as I need to give him a message from my poor Eddie.... I shouldn’t have to ask you to acknowledge his death and to speak kindly of him. I know you will. But please mention what an affectionate son he was to me, his heartbroken mother...”

To hedge round a grave with respect, what choice is there, between the relinquished wealth and honors of the world, and the story of such a woman’s unrewarded devotion! Risking what we do, in delicacy, by making it public, we feel—other reasons aside—that it betters the world to make known that there are such ministrations to its erring and gifted. What we have said will speak to some hearts. There are those who will be glad to know how the lamp, whose light of poetry has beamed on their far-away recognition, was watched over with care and pain, that they may send to her, who is more darkened than they by its extinction, some token of their sympathy. She is destitute and alone. If any, far or near, will send to us what may aid and cheer her through the remainder of her life, we will joyfully place it in her hands.

To honor a grave respectfully, what choices do we have between the lost wealth and status of the world and the tale of a woman’s unrecognized loyalty? By sharing this publicly, despite the delicate nature of it, we believe it’s important to acknowledge that such acts of kindness exist in a world full of flaws and talents. What we've expressed will resonate with some people. There are those who will appreciate knowing how the lamp, which has lit their distant recognition with poetry, was lovingly cared for, even in pain, so that they can offer her, who suffers even more from its absence, a sign of their compassion. She is in need and all alone. If anyone, near or far, sends us anything that might support and uplift her for the rest of her life, we will gladly put it in her hands.

THE UNPARALLELED ADVENTURES OF ONE HANS PFAAL (*1)

By late accounts from Rotterdam, that city seems to be in a high state of philosophical excitement. Indeed, phenomena have there occurred of a nature so completely unexpected—so entirely novel—so utterly at variance with preconceived opinions—as to leave no doubt on my mind that long ere this all Europe is in an uproar, all physics in a ferment, all reason and astronomy together by the ears.

By recent reports from Rotterdam, it looks like the city is buzzing with philosophical excitement. In fact, events have taken place there that are so surprising—so entirely new—and so completely contrary to established beliefs—that I have no doubt that by this time, all of Europe is in chaos, all of physics is in turmoil, and reason and astronomy are at odds with each other.

It appears that on the—— day of—— (I am not positive about the date), a vast crowd of people, for purposes not specifically mentioned, were assembled in the great square of the Exchange in the well-conditioned city of Rotterdam. The day was warm—unusually so for the season—there was hardly a breath of air stirring; and the multitude were in no bad humor at being now and then besprinkled with friendly showers of momentary duration, that fell from large white masses of cloud which chequered in a fitful manner the blue vault of the firmament. Nevertheless, about noon, a slight but remarkable agitation became apparent in the assembly: the clattering of ten thousand tongues succeeded; and, in an instant afterward, ten thousand faces were upturned toward the heavens, ten thousand pipes descended simultaneously from the corners of ten thousand mouths, and a shout, which could be compared to nothing but the roaring of Niagara, resounded long, loudly, and furiously, through all the environs of Rotterdam.

It seems that on the—— day of—— (I’m not sure about the date), a huge crowd of people, for reasons not specifically mentioned, gathered in the main square of the bustling city of Rotterdam. The day was warm—unusually so for this time of year—there was barely a breeze; and the crowd didn’t mind getting occasionally sprinkled by brief, friendly showers that fell from large, white clouds scattered across the blue sky. However, around noon, a slight but noticeable excitement began to ripple through the crowd: the noise of ten thousand voices rose; and in an instant, ten thousand faces turned upwards toward the sky, ten thousand voices joined together in a deafening shout that echoed like the roar of Niagara Falls, resounding loudly and fiercely throughout the outskirts of Rotterdam.

The origin of this hubbub soon became sufficiently evident. From behind the huge bulk of one of those sharply-defined masses of cloud already mentioned, was seen slowly to emerge into an open area of blue space, a queer, heterogeneous, but apparently solid substance, so oddly shaped, so whimsically put together, as not to be in any manner comprehended, and never to be sufficiently admired, by the host of sturdy burghers who stood open-mouthed below. What could it be? In the name of all the vrows and devils in Rotterdam, what could it possibly portend? No one knew, no one could imagine; no one—not even the burgomaster Mynheer Superbus Von Underduk—had the slightest clew by which to unravel the mystery; so, as nothing more reasonable could be done, every one to a man replaced his pipe carefully in the corner of his mouth, and cocking up his right eye towards the phenomenon, puffed, paused, waddled about, and grunted significantly—then waddled back, grunted, paused, and finally—puffed again.

The source of this commotion quickly became clear. From behind the massive, well-defined clouds, a strange, mixed, but seemingly solid object slowly came into view in a patch of blue sky. It was so oddly shaped and whimsically constructed that no one could make sense of it, and the crowd of sturdy townspeople below couldn’t help but admire it. What could it be? In the name of all the women and spirits in Rotterdam, what could it possibly mean? No one knew, no one could guess; not even the mayor Mynheer Superbus Von Underduk had any clue to solve the mystery. So, with nothing else to do, everyone slowly put their pipes back in the corners of their mouths, cocked their right eyes towards the sight, puffed, paused, shuffled around, and grunted knowingly—then shuffled back, grunted, paused, and finally—puffed again.

In the meantime, however, lower and still lower toward the goodly city, came the object of so much curiosity, and the cause of so much smoke. In a very few minutes it arrived near enough to be accurately discerned. It appeared to be—yes! it was undoubtedly a species of balloon; but surely no such balloon had ever been seen in Rotterdam before. For who, let me ask, ever heard of a balloon manufactured entirely of dirty newspapers? No man in Holland certainly; yet here, under the very noses of the people, or rather at some distance above their noses was the identical thing in question, and composed, I have it on the best authority, of the precise material which no one had ever before known to be used for a similar purpose. It was an egregious insult to the good sense of the burghers of Rotterdam. As to the shape of the phenomenon, it was even still more reprehensible. Being little or nothing better than a huge foolscap turned upside down. And this similitude was regarded as by no means lessened when, upon nearer inspection, there was perceived a large tassel depending from its apex, and, around the upper rim or base of the cone, a circle of little instruments, resembling sheep-bells, which kept up a continual tinkling to the tune of Betty Martin. But still worse. Suspended by blue ribbons to the end of this fantastic machine, there hung, by way of car, an enormous drab beaver hat, with a brim superlatively broad, and a hemispherical crown with a black band and a silver buckle. It is, however, somewhat remarkable that many citizens of Rotterdam swore to having seen the same hat repeatedly before; and indeed the whole assembly seemed to regard it with eyes of familiarity; while the vrow Grettel Pfaall, upon sight of it, uttered an exclamation of joyful surprise, and declared it to be the identical hat of her good man himself. Now this was a circumstance the more to be observed, as Pfaall, with three companions, had actually disappeared from Rotterdam about five years before, in a very sudden and unaccountable manner, and up to the date of this narrative all attempts had failed of obtaining any intelligence concerning them whatsoever. To be sure, some bones which were thought to be human, mixed up with a quantity of odd-looking rubbish, had been lately discovered in a retired situation to the east of Rotterdam, and some people went so far as to imagine that in this spot a foul murder had been committed, and that the sufferers were in all probability Hans Pfaall and his associates. But to return.

In the meantime, however, lower and lower toward the lovely city came the object of so much curiosity and the source of so much smoke. In just a few minutes, it got close enough to be clearly seen. It appeared to be—yes! It was definitely a type of balloon; but surely no such balloon had ever been seen in Rotterdam before. Who, I ask, has ever heard of a balloon made entirely of dirty newspapers? No one in Holland, that's for sure; yet here, right above the heads of the people, was the very thing in question, made, according to the best information, from the exact material that no one had ever known to be used for something like this. It was an outrageous insult to the common sense of the citizens of Rotterdam. As for the shape of the phenomenon, it was even more offensive. It was almost nothing more than a giant piece of foolscap turned upside down. This comparison seemed even more fitting upon closer inspection, where a large tassel could be seen dangling from its top, and around the upper rim of the cone, there was a circle of small instruments resembling sheep-bells, continuously tinkling to the tune of Betty Martin. But even worse, hanging by blue ribbons from the end of this bizarre machine was a massive drab beaver hat, with an extremely broad brim and a hemispherical crown adorned with a black band and a silver buckle. Interestingly, many citizens of Rotterdam insisted they had seen the same hat many times before; indeed, the entire crowd seemed to look at it with a sense of familiarity. When vrow Grettel Pfaall saw it, she exclaimed in joyful surprise, declaring it to be her husband's very own hat. This was especially notable because Pfaall, along with three friends, had vanished from Rotterdam about five years earlier in a very sudden and mysterious way, and up until now, all efforts to gain any information about them had failed. It's true that some bones thought to be human, mixed with a pile of odd-looking debris, had recently been found in a secluded area east of Rotterdam, and some people even speculated that a terrible murder had taken place there, with the victims possibly being Hans Pfaall and his friends. But back to the matter at hand.

The balloon (for such no doubt it was) had now descended to within a hundred feet of the earth, allowing the crowd below a sufficiently distinct view of the person of its occupant. This was in truth a very droll little somebody. He could not have been more than two feet in height; but this altitude, little as it was, would have been sufficient to destroy his equilibrium, and tilt him over the edge of his tiny car, but for the intervention of a circular rim reaching as high as the breast, and rigged on to the cords of the balloon. The body of the little man was more than proportionately broad, giving to his entire figure a rotundity highly absurd. His feet, of course, could not be seen at all, although a horny substance of suspicious nature was occasionally protruded through a rent in the bottom of the car, or to speak more properly, in the top of the hat. His hands were enormously large. His hair was extremely gray, and collected into a queue behind. His nose was prodigiously long, crooked, and inflammatory; his eyes full, brilliant, and acute; his chin and cheeks, although wrinkled with age, were broad, puffy, and double; but of ears of any kind or character there was not a semblance to be discovered upon any portion of his head. This odd little gentleman was dressed in a loose surtout of sky-blue satin, with tight breeches to match, fastened with silver buckles at the knees. His vest was of some bright yellow material; a white taffety cap was set jauntily on one side of his head; and, to complete his equipment, a blood-red silk handkerchief enveloped his throat, and fell down, in a dainty manner, upon his bosom, in a fantastic bow-knot of super-eminent dimensions.

The balloon (which it definitely was) had now dropped to about a hundred feet above the ground, giving the crowd below a clear view of the person inside. This was truly a very amusing little character. He couldn’t have been more than two feet tall; but this height, as small as it was, could have easily thrown him off balance and toppled him out of his tiny car, if it weren't for a circular rim that reached up to his chest and was attached to the cords of the balloon. The little man’s body was proportionately broad, which made his whole figure look hilariously round. His feet were completely out of sight, though a rough substance of questionable origin occasionally poked through a tear at the bottom of the car or, more accurately, from the top of his hat. His hands were incredibly large. His hair was very gray and tied back in a queue. His nose was exceptionally long, crooked, and red; his eyes were large, bright, and sharp; his chin and cheeks, although wrinkled with age, were broad, puffy, and double; but there was no sign of ears on any part of his head. This quirky little man was wearing a loose sky-blue satin coat, with matching tight breeches secured with silver buckles at the knees. His vest was made of some bright yellow fabric; a white taffeta cap was stylishly perched on one side of his head; and to complete his look, a bright red silk handkerchief wrapped around his neck and draped down in a fancy bow-knot of impressive size across his chest.

Having descended, as I said before, to about one hundred feet from the surface of the earth, the little old gentleman was suddenly seized with a fit of trepidation, and appeared disinclined to make any nearer approach to terra firma. Throwing out, therefore, a quantity of sand from a canvas bag, which, he lifted with great difficulty, he became stationary in an instant. He then proceeded, in a hurried and agitated manner, to extract from a side-pocket in his surtout a large morocco pocket-book. This he poised suspiciously in his hand, then eyed it with an air of extreme surprise, and was evidently astonished at its weight. He at length opened it, and drawing there from a huge letter sealed with red sealing-wax and tied carefully with red tape, let it fall precisely at the feet of the burgomaster, Superbus Von Underduk. His Excellency stooped to take it up. But the aeronaut, still greatly discomposed, and having apparently no farther business to detain him in Rotterdam, began at this moment to make busy preparations for departure; and it being necessary to discharge a portion of ballast to enable him to reascend, the half dozen bags which he threw out, one after another, without taking the trouble to empty their contents, tumbled, every one of them, most unfortunately upon the back of the burgomaster, and rolled him over and over no less than one-and-twenty times, in the face of every man in Rotterdam. It is not to be supposed, however, that the great Underduk suffered this impertinence on the part of the little old man to pass off with impunity. It is said, on the contrary, that during each and every one of his one-and twenty circumvolutions he emitted no less than one-and-twenty distinct and furious whiffs from his pipe, to which he held fast the whole time with all his might, and to which he intends holding fast until the day of his death.

After descending, as I mentioned earlier, to about one hundred feet above the ground, the little old gentleman suddenly became very anxious and seemed reluctant to get any closer to the earth. So, he dumped a bunch of sand from a canvas bag, which he struggled to lift, and immediately came to a stop. He then hurriedly pulled out a large leather wallet from a side pocket of his coat. He held it suspiciously in his hand, looked at it in extreme surprise, clearly shocked by its weight. Finally, he opened it and pulled out a huge letter sealed with red wax and carefully tied with red tape, dropping it right at the feet of the mayor, Superbus Von Underduk. The mayor bent down to pick it up. But the aeronaut, still very flustered and apparently with no reason to stay in Rotterdam any longer, began to prepare to leave. Since he needed to release some ballast to go back up, he tossed out six bags one after another without bothering to empty them, and unfortunately, they all landed right on the back of the mayor, rolling him over and over no less than twenty-one times, in front of everyone in Rotterdam. However, it’s not to be thought that the great Underduk just let this disrespect from the little old man slide. It’s said that during each of his twenty-one rolls, he let out a furious puff from his pipe, which he held onto with all his strength and plans to keep holding onto until the day he dies.

In the meantime the balloon arose like a lark, and, soaring far away above the city, at length drifted quietly behind a cloud similar to that from which it had so oddly emerged, and was thus lost forever to the wondering eyes of the good citizens of Rotterdam. All attention was now directed to the letter, the descent of which, and the consequences attending thereupon, had proved so fatally subversive of both person and personal dignity to his Excellency, the illustrious Burgomaster Mynheer Superbus Von Underduk. That functionary, however, had not failed, during his circumgyratory movements, to bestow a thought upon the important subject of securing the packet in question, which was seen, upon inspection, to have fallen into the most proper hands, being actually addressed to himself and Professor Rub-a-dub, in their official capacities of President and Vice-President of the Rotterdam College of Astronomy. It was accordingly opened by those dignitaries upon the spot, and found to contain the following extraordinary, and indeed very serious, communication:

In the meantime, the balloon rose like a lark and, soaring high above the city, eventually drifted quietly behind a cloud similar to the one it had so strangely emerged from, disappearing forever from the amazed eyes of the good citizens of Rotterdam. All attention was now focused on the letter, the descent of which had been so disastrously damaging to both the person and the personal dignity of his Excellency, the distinguished Burgomaster Mynheer Superbus Von Underduk. However, that official had not neglected to think about the important matter of securing the packet in question during his swirling movements, which was seen upon inspection to have fallen into the most appropriate hands, as it was actually addressed to himself and Professor Rub-a-dub, in their official roles as President and Vice-President of the Rotterdam College of Astronomy. Thus, it was opened by those dignitaries right there and contained the following extraordinary, and indeed very serious, communication:

“To their Excellencies Von Underduk and Rub-a-dub, President and Vice-President of the States’ College of Astronomers, in the city of Rotterdam.

“To their Excellencies Von Underduk and Rub-a-dub, President and Vice-President of the States’ College of Astronomers, in the city of Rotterdam.

“Your Excellencies may perhaps be able to remember an humble artizan, by name Hans Pfaall, and by occupation a mender of bellows, who, with three others, disappeared from Rotterdam, about five years ago, in a manner which must have been considered by all parties at once sudden, and extremely unaccountable. If, however, it so please your Excellencies, I, the writer of this communication, am the identical Hans Pfaall himself. It is well known to most of my fellow citizens, that for the period of forty years I continued to occupy the little square brick building, at the head of the alley called Sauerkraut, in which I resided at the time of my disappearance. My ancestors have also resided therein time out of mind—they, as well as myself, steadily following the respectable and indeed lucrative profession of mending of bellows. For, to speak the truth, until of late years, that the heads of all the people have been set agog with politics, no better business than my own could an honest citizen of Rotterdam either desire or deserve. Credit was good, employment was never wanting, and on all hands there was no lack of either money or good-will. But, as I was saying, we soon began to feel the effects of liberty and long speeches, and radicalism, and all that sort of thing. People who were formerly, the very best customers in the world, had now not a moment of time to think of us at all. They had, so they said, as much as they could do to read about the revolutions, and keep up with the march of intellect and the spirit of the age. If a fire wanted fanning, it could readily be fanned with a newspaper, and as the government grew weaker, I have no doubt that leather and iron acquired durability in proportion, for, in a very short time, there was not a pair of bellows in all Rotterdam that ever stood in need of a stitch or required the assistance of a hammer. This was a state of things not to be endured. I soon grew as poor as a rat, and, having a wife and children to provide for, my burdens at length became intolerable, and I spent hour after hour in reflecting upon the most convenient method of putting an end to my life. Duns, in the meantime, left me little leisure for contemplation. My house was literally besieged from morning till night, so that I began to rave, and foam, and fret like a caged tiger against the bars of his enclosure. There were three fellows in particular who worried me beyond endurance, keeping watch continually about my door, and threatening me with the law. Upon these three I internally vowed the bitterest revenge, if ever I should be so happy as to get them within my clutches; and I believe nothing in the world but the pleasure of this anticipation prevented me from putting my plan of suicide into immediate execution, by blowing my brains out with a blunderbuss. I thought it best, however, to dissemble my wrath, and to treat them with promises and fair words, until, by some good turn of fate, an opportunity of vengeance should be afforded me.

Your Excellencies might remember a humble tradesman named Hans Pfaall, a bellows repairman, who, along with three others, vanished from Rotterdam about five years ago in a way that everyone must have found sudden and completely baffling. If it pleases your Excellencies, I, the author of this message, am the very Hans Pfaall himself. Most of my fellow citizens know that for forty years, I lived in the small square brick building at the end of the alley called Sauerkraut, where I was residing at the time of my disappearance. My family has lived there for ages, all of us dedicated to the respectable and quite profitable trade of mending bellows. Honestly, until recent years, when everyone became obsessed with politics, there was no better business for an honest citizen of Rotterdam to want or deserve. Credit was good, work was always available, and there was no shortage of either money or goodwill. But, as I was saying, we soon started to feel the effects of freedom and lengthy speeches, along with radical ideas and all that nonsense. Formerly loyal customers no longer had time to think of us at all. They claimed they had enough to do reading about revolutions and keeping up with the latest intellectual trends and the spirit of the times. If a fire needed stoking, it could easily be tended to with a newspaper. And as the government weakened, I’m sure that leather and iron became more durable because, in no time, there wasn’t a single pair of bellows in all Rotterdam that needed a stitch or the help of a hammer. This situation was unbearable. I quickly became as poor as a rat, and with a wife and kids to support, my burdens grew unbearable, leading me to spend hours contemplating the most convenient way to end my life. In the meantime, debts left me little time for reflection. My house felt like it was under siege from morning till night, driving me to rage, foam at the mouth, and fret like a caged tiger against the bars of its cage. Three men, in particular, tormented me beyond endurance, constantly lurking around my door and threatening me with legal action. I silently vowed the most bitter revenge on them if I ever got the chance. I believe nothing except the joy of that anticipation kept me from immediately carrying out my plan of suicide by blowing my brains out with a blunderbuss. However, I thought it best to hide my anger and deal with them using promises and kind words until fate provided me with a chance for revenge.

“One day, having given my creditors the slip, and feeling more than usually dejected, I continued for a long time to wander about the most obscure streets without object whatever, until at length I chanced to stumble against the corner of a bookseller’s stall. Seeing a chair close at hand, for the use of customers, I threw myself doggedly into it, and, hardly knowing why, opened the pages of the first volume which came within my reach. It proved to be a small pamphlet treatise on Speculative Astronomy, written either by Professor Encke of Berlin or by a Frenchman of somewhat similar name. I had some little tincture of information on matters of this nature, and soon became more and more absorbed in the contents of the book, reading it actually through twice before I awoke to a recollection of what was passing around me. By this time it began to grow dark, and I directed my steps toward home. But the treatise had made an indelible impression on my mind, and, as I sauntered along the dusky streets, I revolved carefully over in my memory the wild and sometimes unintelligible reasonings of the writer. There are some particular passages which affected my imagination in a powerful and extraordinary manner. The longer I meditated upon these the more intense grew the interest which had been excited within me. The limited nature of my education in general, and more especially my ignorance on subjects connected with natural philosophy, so far from rendering me diffident of my own ability to comprehend what I had read, or inducing me to mistrust the many vague notions which had arisen in consequence, merely served as a farther stimulus to imagination; and I was vain enough, or perhaps reasonable enough, to doubt whether those crude ideas which, arising in ill-regulated minds, have all the appearance, may not often in effect possess all the force, the reality, and other inherent properties, of instinct or intuition; whether, to proceed a step farther, profundity itself might not, in matters of a purely speculative nature, be detected as a legitimate source of falsity and error. In other words, I believed, and still do believe, that truth, is frequently of its own essence, superficial, and that, in many cases, the depth lies more in the abysses where we seek her, than in the actual situations wherein she may be found. Nature herself seemed to afford me corroboration of these ideas. In the contemplation of the heavenly bodies it struck me forcibly that I could not distinguish a star with nearly as much precision, when I gazed on it with earnest, direct and undeviating attention, as when I suffered my eye only to glance in its vicinity alone. I was not, of course, at that time aware that this apparent paradox was occasioned by the center of the visual area being less susceptible of feeble impressions of light than the exterior portions of the retina. This knowledge, and some of another kind, came afterwards in the course of an eventful five years, during which I have dropped the prejudices of my former humble situation in life, and forgotten the bellows-mender in far different occupations. But at the epoch of which I speak, the analogy which a casual observation of a star offered to the conclusions I had already drawn, struck me with the force of positive conformation, and I then finally made up my mind to the course which I afterwards pursued.

“One day, after dodging my creditors and feeling more down than usual, I wandered aimlessly through the dimmest streets for a long time. Eventually, I bumped into a bookseller’s stall. There was a chair nearby for customers, so I plopped down into it and, almost without thinking, opened the first book I could grab. It turned out to be a small pamphlet on Speculative Astronomy, written by either Professor Encke from Berlin or a French guy with a similar name. I had a bit of knowledge on this topic, and soon I was completely absorbed in the book, reading it cover to cover twice before I even realized what was going on around me. By that time, it was getting dark, and I headed home. But the book left a lasting impression on me, and as I strolled through the gloomy streets, I reflected on the writer’s wild and sometimes confusing arguments. Some specific passages really captured my imagination in a powerful way. The more I thought about them, the stronger my interest grew. My limited education, especially my ignorance of natural philosophy, didn’t make me doubt my ability to understand what I had read or question the vague ideas that popped up as a result. Instead, it fueled my imagination. I was either foolish or maybe reasonable enough to wonder if those raw thoughts, which can arise in disordered minds, might actually possess the same strength, reality, and other qualities as instinct or intuition. Furthermore, I questioned whether depth in purely speculative matters could sometimes be a source of falsehood and error. In other words, I believed – and still believe – that truth is often, by its very nature, superficial, and that in many cases, the real depth lies more in the depths we explore than in the actual situations where truth can be found. Nature herself seemed to support these ideas. While contemplating the stars, I realized that I couldn’t focus on a star as clearly when I looked at it with concentrated, direct attention as when I simply let my eyes wander nearby. At that moment, I wasn’t aware that this odd effect was because the center of my vision is less sensitive to weak light than the outer parts of my retina. I gained that knowledge, along with some other insights, later during a transformative five years, where I left behind my previous humble lifestyle and forgot about being a bellows-mender while engaging in very different work. But during the time I’m talking about, the similarity I noticed while observing a star confirmed the conclusions I had already drawn, leading me to finally decide on the path I would take.”

“It was late when I reached home, and I went immediately to bed. My mind, however, was too much occupied to sleep, and I lay the whole night buried in meditation. Arising early in the morning, and contriving again to escape the vigilance of my creditors, I repaired eagerly to the bookseller’s stall, and laid out what little ready money I possessed, in the purchase of some volumes of Mechanics and Practical Astronomy. Having arrived at home safely with these, I devoted every spare moment to their perusal, and soon made such proficiency in studies of this nature as I thought sufficient for the execution of my plan. In the intervals of this period, I made every endeavor to conciliate the three creditors who had given me so much annoyance. In this I finally succeeded—partly by selling enough of my household furniture to satisfy a moiety of their claim, and partly by a promise of paying the balance upon completion of a little project which I told them I had in view, and for assistance in which I solicited their services. By these means—for they were ignorant men—I found little difficulty in gaining them over to my purpose.

It was late when I got home, and I went straight to bed. However, my mind was too occupied to sleep, so I spent the whole night deep in thought. Waking up early the next morning, I once again managed to avoid the watchfulness of my creditors and hurried to the bookseller’s stall, spending the little cash I had on some books about Mechanics and Practical Astronomy. After safely getting these home, I dedicated every spare moment to studying them and quickly made enough progress in these subjects to feel ready to execute my plan. During this time, I also tried to appease the three creditors who had caused me so much trouble. I eventually succeeded—partly by selling enough of my household items to cover part of what I owed them, and partly by promising to pay the rest once I completed a small project I told them I was working on and for which I asked for their help. Through this approach—since they were not very knowledgeable—I found it pretty easy to win them over to my side.

“Matters being thus arranged, I contrived, by the aid of my wife and with the greatest secrecy and caution, to dispose of what property I had remaining, and to borrow, in small sums, under various pretences, and without paying any attention to my future means of repayment, no inconsiderable quantity of ready money. With the means thus accruing I proceeded to procure at intervals, cambric muslin, very fine, in pieces of twelve yards each; twine; a lot of the varnish of caoutchouc; a large and deep basket of wicker-work, made to order; and several other articles necessary in the construction and equipment of a balloon of extraordinary dimensions. This I directed my wife to make up as soon as possible, and gave her all requisite information as to the particular method of proceeding. In the meantime I worked up the twine into a net-work of sufficient dimensions; rigged it with a hoop and the necessary cords; bought a quadrant, a compass, a spy-glass, a common barometer with some important modifications, and two astronomical instruments not so generally known. I then took opportunities of conveying by night, to a retired situation east of Rotterdam, five iron-bound casks, to contain about fifty gallons each, and one of a larger size; six tinned ware tubes, three inches in diameter, properly shaped, and ten feet in length; a quantity of a particular metallic substance, or semi-metal, which I shall not name, and a dozen demijohns of a very common acid. The gas to be formed from these latter materials is a gas never yet generated by any other person than myself—or at least never applied to any similar purpose. The secret I would make no difficulty in disclosing, but that it of right belongs to a citizen of Nantz, in France, by whom it was conditionally communicated to myself. The same individual submitted to me, without being at all aware of my intentions, a method of constructing balloons from the membrane of a certain animal, through which substance any escape of gas was nearly an impossibility. I found it, however, altogether too expensive, and was not sure, upon the whole, whether cambric muslin with a coating of gum caoutchouc, was not equally as good. I mention this circumstance, because I think it probable that hereafter the individual in question may attempt a balloon ascension with the novel gas and material I have spoken of, and I do not wish to deprive him of the honor of a very singular invention.

“Once everything was set, I managed, with my wife's help and a lot of secrecy and caution, to sell off what property I had left, and to borrow small amounts of money under various excuses, without considering how I would pay it back later, accumulating a decent amount of cash. With this money, I gradually bought some very fine cambric muslin in twelve-yard pieces, some twine, a lot of caoutchouc varnish, a large custom-made wicker basket, and several other items needed to build and equip an oversized balloon. I instructed my wife to assemble everything as quickly as possible and provided her with all the necessary steps. In the meantime, I turned the twine into a network of sufficient size, rigged it with a hoop and the necessary ropes, purchased a quadrant, a compass, a spyglass, a standard barometer with some important modifications, and two less common astronomical instruments. I then took the opportunity to transport five iron-bound barrels, each holding about fifty gallons, and one larger barrel, to a secluded spot east of Rotterdam at night; six tin tubes, three inches in diameter and ten feet long; a quantity of a particular metallic substance, or semi-metal, which I won’t name; and a dozen demijohns of a very common acid. The gas that will be created from these materials is a type that has never been produced by anyone else but me—or at least, it hasn't been used for a similar purpose. I would have no problem sharing this secret, but it rightly belongs to a citizen of Nantes, France, who conditionally shared it with me. This same person, unaware of my plans, suggested a way to make balloons from a certain animal membrane, which almost completely prevents any gas from escaping. However, I found it too expensive and wasn't sure if cambric muslin coated with caoutchouc wouldn't work just as well. I mention this because I think it's likely this person might try to ascend in a balloon using the new gas and materials I’ve described, and I don’t want to take away from them the credit for a very unique invention.”

“On the spot which I intended each of the smaller casks to occupy respectively during the inflation of the balloon, I privately dug a hole two feet deep; the holes forming in this manner a circle twenty-five feet in diameter. In the centre of this circle, being the station designed for the large cask, I also dug a hole three feet in depth. In each of the five smaller holes, I deposited a canister containing fifty pounds, and in the larger one a keg holding one hundred and fifty pounds, of cannon powder. These—the keg and canisters—I connected in a proper manner with covered trains; and having let into one of the canisters the end of about four feet of slow match, I covered up the hole, and placed the cask over it, leaving the other end of the match protruding about an inch, and barely visible beyond the cask. I then filled up the remaining holes, and placed the barrels over them in their destined situation.

“On the spots where I planned for each of the smaller casks to be placed during the balloon's inflation, I secretly dug a hole two feet deep; these holes formed a circle twenty-five feet in diameter. In the center of this circle, designated for the large cask, I also dug a hole three feet deep. In each of the five smaller holes, I put a canister containing fifty pounds, and in the larger hole, a keg holding one hundred and fifty pounds of cannon powder. I connected these—the keg and canisters—properly with covered fuses; and after inserting one end of about four feet of slow match into one of the canisters, I covered up the hole and placed the cask over it, leaving the other end of the match sticking out about an inch, barely visible beyond the cask. I then filled in the remaining holes and positioned the barrels over them as planned.”

“Besides the articles above enumerated, I conveyed to the depot, and there secreted, one of M. Grimm’s improvements upon the apparatus for condensation of the atmospheric air. I found this machine, however, to require considerable alteration before it could be adapted to the purposes to which I intended making it applicable. But, with severe labor and unremitting perseverance, I at length met with entire success in all my preparations. My balloon was soon completed. It would contain more than forty thousand cubic feet of gas; would take me up easily, I calculated, with all my implements, and, if I managed rightly, with one hundred and seventy-five pounds of ballast into the bargain. It had received three coats of varnish, and I found the cambric muslin to answer all the purposes of silk itself, quite as strong and a good deal less expensive.

Besides the items listed above, I delivered to the depot and secretly stored one of M. Grimm’s improvements on the air condensation apparatus. However, I found that this machine needed a lot of modifications before it could be used for my intended purposes. But with hard work and relentless determination, I eventually achieved complete success in all my preparations. My balloon was soon finished. It would hold over forty thousand cubic feet of gas; I calculated it would easily lift me, along with all my equipment, and if I did everything right, even an extra one hundred and seventy-five pounds of ballast. It had three coats of varnish, and I found that the cambric muslin worked just as well as silk, being just as strong and much cheaper.

“Everything being now ready, I exacted from my wife an oath of secrecy in relation to all my actions from the day of my first visit to the bookseller’s stall; and promising, on my part, to return as soon as circumstances would permit, I gave her what little money I had left, and bade her farewell. Indeed I had no fear on her account. She was what people call a notable woman, and could manage matters in the world without my assistance. I believe, to tell the truth, she always looked upon me as an idle boy, a mere make-weight, good for nothing but building castles in the air, and was rather glad to get rid of me. It was a dark night when I bade her good-bye, and taking with me, as aides-de-camp, the three creditors who had given me so much trouble, we carried the balloon, with the car and accoutrements, by a roundabout way, to the station where the other articles were deposited. We there found them all unmolested, and I proceeded immediately to business.

“Now that everything was ready, I made my wife swear to keep everything that had happened since my first visit to the bookseller's stall a secret. I promised I would return as soon as I could, gave her what little money I had left, and said goodbye. Honestly, I wasn’t worried about her. She was what people call a remarkable woman and could handle things on her own without my help. To be truthful, I think she always saw me as a lazy boy, just someone to fill space, good for nothing but daydreaming, and she was probably relieved to see me go. It was a dark night when I said farewell, and taking with me the three creditors who had caused me so much trouble, we took the balloon, along with the basket and equipment, on a roundabout route to the station where the other items were stored. There, we found everything untouched, and I got right to work.”

“It was the first of April. The night, as I said before, was dark; there was not a star to be seen; and a drizzling rain, falling at intervals, rendered us very uncomfortable. But my chief anxiety was concerning the balloon, which, in spite of the varnish with which it was defended, began to grow rather heavy with the moisture; the powder also was liable to damage. I therefore kept my three duns working with great diligence, pounding down ice around the central cask, and stirring the acid in the others. They did not cease, however, importuning me with questions as to what I intended to do with all this apparatus, and expressed much dissatisfaction at the terrible labor I made them undergo. They could not perceive, so they said, what good was likely to result from their getting wet to the skin, merely to take a part in such horrible incantations. I began to get uneasy, and worked away with all my might, for I verily believe the idiots supposed that I had entered into a compact with the devil, and that, in short, what I was now doing was nothing better than it should be. I was, therefore, in great fear of their leaving me altogether. I contrived, however, to pacify them by promises of payment of all scores in full, as soon as I could bring the present business to a termination. To these speeches they gave, of course, their own interpretation; fancying, no doubt, that at all events I should come into possession of vast quantities of ready money; and provided I paid them all I owed, and a trifle more, in consideration of their services, I dare say they cared very little what became of either my soul or my carcass.

“It was the first of April. The night, as I mentioned earlier, was dark; not a star was visible, and a light drizzle that fell intermittently made us quite uncomfortable. But my main concern was the balloon, which, despite the varnish protecting it, was starting to feel heavy from the moisture; the powder was also at risk of being damaged. So, I had my three helpers working hard, packing ice around the main cask and mixing the acid in the others. They kept bothering me with questions about what I planned to do with all this equipment and showed a lot of frustration at the awful work I was making them do. They couldn’t understand, as they said, what benefit would come from getting soaked just to be involved in such dreadful tasks. I began to feel anxious and worked even harder because I honestly believed the fools thought I had made a deal with the devil, and that what I was doing was worse than it should be. I was really scared they would leave me for good. However, I managed to calm them down by promising to settle all debts in full as soon as I could wrap up the current job. They, of course, interpreted my words in their own way; imagining, no doubt, that I would soon come into a fortune, and as long as I paid them what I owed and a little extra for their help, I bet they didn’t care much about whether my soul or my body perished.”

“In about four hours and a half I found the balloon sufficiently inflated. I attached the car, therefore, and put all my implements in it—not forgetting the condensing apparatus, a copious supply of water, and a large quantity of provisions, such as pemmican, in which much nutriment is contained in comparatively little bulk. I also secured in the car a pair of pigeons and a cat. It was now nearly daybreak, and I thought it high time to take my departure. Dropping a lighted cigar on the ground, as if by accident, I took the opportunity, in stooping to pick it up, of igniting privately the piece of slow match, whose end, as I said before, protruded a very little beyond the lower rim of one of the smaller casks. This manoeuvre was totally unperceived on the part of the three duns; and, jumping into the car, I immediately cut the single cord which held me to the earth, and was pleased to find that I shot upward, carrying with all ease one hundred and seventy-five pounds of leaden ballast, and able to have carried up as many more.

In about four and a half hours, I managed to get the balloon fully inflated. I attached the car and loaded all my gear into it—not forgetting the condensing device, plenty of water, and a large amount of supplies, like pemmican, which packs a lot of nutrition into a small space. I also secured a pair of pigeons and a cat in the car. It was almost dawn, and I decided it was time to leave. I dropped a lit cigar on the ground, pretending it was an accident, and while I bent down to pick it up, I secretly ignited the slow match whose end, as I mentioned before, stuck out just a tiny bit beyond the lower edge of one of the smaller barrels. The three thugs didn’t notice this at all, and jumping into the car, I quickly cut the single cord that was holding me to the ground. I was thrilled to find that I shot straight up, easily carrying one hundred and seventy-five pounds of leaden ballast and I could have taken up even more.

“Scarcely, however, had I attained the height of fifty yards, when, roaring and rumbling up after me in the most horrible and tumultuous manner, came so dense a hurricane of fire, and smoke, and sulphur, and legs and arms, and gravel, and burning wood, and blazing metal, that my very heart sunk within me, and I fell down in the bottom of the car, trembling with unmitigated terror. Indeed, I now perceived that I had entirely overdone the business, and that the main consequences of the shock were yet to be experienced. Accordingly, in less than a second, I felt all the blood in my body rushing to my temples, and immediately thereupon, a concussion, which I shall never forget, burst abruptly through the night and seemed to rip the very firmament asunder. When I afterward had time for reflection, I did not fail to attribute the extreme violence of the explosion, as regarded myself, to its proper cause—my situation directly above it, and in the line of its greatest power. But at the time, I thought only of preserving my life. The balloon at first collapsed, then furiously expanded, then whirled round and round with horrible velocity, and finally, reeling and staggering like a drunken man, hurled me with great force over the rim of the car, and left me dangling, at a terrific height, with my head downward, and my face outwards, by a piece of slender cord about three feet in length, which hung accidentally through a crevice near the bottom of the wicker-work, and in which, as I fell, my left foot became most providentially entangled. It is impossible—utterly impossible—to form any adequate idea of the horror of my situation. I gasped convulsively for breath—a shudder resembling a fit of the ague agitated every nerve and muscle of my frame—I felt my eyes starting from their sockets—a horrible nausea overwhelmed me—and at length I fainted away.

“Hardly had I reached fifty yards in the air when a terrifying hurricane of fire, smoke, sulfur, limbs, gravel, burning wood, and molten metal roared and rumbled up after me. My heart sank, and I collapsed at the bottom of the car, shaking with pure terror. I realized I had completely overdone it, and the main effects of the shock were still to come. In less than a second, I felt all the blood in my body rush to my temples, and then I experienced a powerful explosion that burst through the night and seemed to tear the sky apart. Later, in reflecting on it, I attributed the extreme intensity of the explosion to my position directly above it, in the line of its greatest force. But at that moment, all I could think about was surviving. The balloon initially collapsed, then violently expanded, spinning around at an alarming speed before finally, like a drunk person, it threw me over the edge of the car. I was left dangling at a terrifying height, head down and face outwards, by a slender piece of cord about three feet long that had accidentally caught in a gap near the bottom of the wicker frame, with my left foot miraculously caught in it as I fell. It's impossible—totally impossible—to describe the horror of my situation. I gasped for air, my body trembled as if I was having a seizure, my eyes felt like they were popping out of their sockets, an overwhelming nausea hit me, and eventually, I fainted.”

“How long I remained in this state it is impossible to say. It must, however, have been no inconsiderable time, for when I partially recovered the sense of existence, I found the day breaking, the balloon at a prodigious height over a wilderness of ocean, and not a trace of land to be discovered far and wide within the limits of the vast horizon. My sensations, however, upon thus recovering, were by no means so rife with agony as might have been anticipated. Indeed, there was much of incipient madness in the calm survey which I began to take of my situation. I drew up to my eyes each of my hands, one after the other, and wondered what occurrence could have given rise to the swelling of the veins, and the horrible blackness of the fingernails. I afterward carefully examined my head, shaking it repeatedly, and feeling it with minute attention, until I succeeded in satisfying myself that it was not, as I had more than half suspected, larger than my balloon. Then, in a knowing manner, I felt in both my breeches pockets, and, missing therefrom a set of tablets and a toothpick case, endeavored to account for their disappearance, and not being able to do so, felt inexpressibly chagrined. It now occurred to me that I suffered great uneasiness in the joint of my left ankle, and a dim consciousness of my situation began to glimmer through my mind. But, strange to say! I was neither astonished nor horror-stricken. If I felt any emotion at all, it was a kind of chuckling satisfaction at the cleverness I was about to display in extricating myself from this dilemma; and I never, for a moment, looked upon my ultimate safety as a question susceptible of doubt. For a few minutes I remained wrapped in the profoundest meditation. I have a distinct recollection of frequently compressing my lips, putting my forefinger to the side of my nose, and making use of other gesticulations and grimaces common to men who, at ease in their arm-chairs, meditate upon matters of intricacy or importance. Having, as I thought, sufficiently collected my ideas, I now, with great caution and deliberation, put my hands behind my back, and unfastened the large iron buckle which belonged to the waistband of my inexpressibles. This buckle had three teeth, which, being somewhat rusty, turned with great difficulty on their axis. I brought them, however, after some trouble, at right angles to the body of the buckle, and was glad to find them remain firm in that position. Holding the instrument thus obtained within my teeth, I now proceeded to untie the knot of my cravat. I had to rest several times before I could accomplish this manoeuvre, but it was at length accomplished. To one end of the cravat I then made fast the buckle, and the other end I tied, for greater security, tightly around my wrist. Drawing now my body upwards, with a prodigious exertion of muscular force, I succeeded, at the very first trial, in throwing the buckle over the car, and entangling it, as I had anticipated, in the circular rim of the wicker-work.

“How long I was in this state is impossible to say. However, it must have been quite a while, because when I partially regained my sense of existence, I found the day breaking, the balloon at an incredible height over a vast ocean, with no sign of land in sight within the wide horizon. My feelings upon awakening, however, were not as filled with agony as one might expect. In fact, there was a hint of emerging madness in the calm way I started to assess my situation. I brought each of my hands to my eyes, one after the other, and wondered what could have caused the swelling of the veins and the horrible blackness of my fingernails. I then carefully examined my head, shaking it repeatedly and feeling it attentively until I managed to convince myself it wasn’t, as I had half suspected, larger than my balloon. Then, in a knowing manner, I felt in both my pants pockets, and upon not finding a set of tablets and a toothpick case, I tried to figure out how they went missing, feeling incredibly frustrated. I then noticed a significant discomfort in my left ankle, and a vague awareness of my situation began to dawn on me. But strangely enough! I felt neither shocked nor horrified. If I felt any emotion at all, it was a sort of amused satisfaction at the cleverness I was about to show in getting myself out of this mess; I never doubted my ultimate safety for a moment. For a few minutes, I stayed wrapped in the deepest thought. I clearly recall often pressing my lips together, putting my forefinger to the side of my nose, and making gestures and grimaces typical of men, comfortably settled in their armchairs, pondering over complex or important matters. Having, as I thought, gathered my thoughts sufficiently, I cautiously and deliberately put my hands behind my back and unfastened the large iron buckle of my trousers. This buckle had three teeth, which, being slightly rusty, turned very reluctantly on their axis. However, I managed to get them, after some effort, at right angles to the body of the buckle and was relieved to see them stay in that position. Holding this tool in my teeth, I proceeded to untie the knot of my cravat. I had to take several breaks before I could manage this move, but I eventually did. I then attached the buckle to one end of the cravat and tied the other end tightly around my wrist for extra security. Now, drawing my body upward with an enormous effort of strength, I succeeded, on my very first attempt, in throwing the buckle over the car and snagging it, just as I had expected, in the circular rim of the wicker-work.

“My body was now inclined towards the side of the car, at an angle of about forty-five degrees; but it must not be understood that I was therefore only forty-five degrees below the perpendicular. So far from it, I still lay nearly level with the plane of the horizon; for the change of situation which I had acquired, had forced the bottom of the car considerably outwards from my position, which was accordingly one of the most imminent and deadly peril. It should be remembered, however, that when I fell in the first instance, from the car, if I had fallen with my face turned toward the balloon, instead of turned outwardly from it, as it actually was; or if, in the second place, the cord by which I was suspended had chanced to hang over the upper edge, instead of through a crevice near the bottom of the car,—I say it may be readily conceived that, in either of these supposed cases, I should have been unable to accomplish even as much as I had now accomplished, and the wonderful adventures of Hans Pfaall would have been utterly lost to posterity, I had therefore every reason to be grateful; although, in point of fact, I was still too stupid to be anything at all, and hung for, perhaps, a quarter of an hour in that extraordinary manner, without making the slightest farther exertion whatsoever, and in a singularly tranquil state of idiotic enjoyment. But this feeling did not fail to die rapidly away, and thereunto succeeded horror, and dismay, and a chilling sense of utter helplessness and ruin. In fact, the blood so long accumulating in the vessels of my head and throat, and which had hitherto buoyed up my spirits with madness and delirium, had now begun to retire within their proper channels, and the distinctness which was thus added to my perception of the danger, merely served to deprive me of the self-possession and courage to encounter it. But this weakness was, luckily for me, of no very long duration. In good time came to my rescue the spirit of despair, and, with frantic cries and struggles, I jerked my way bodily upwards, till at length, clutching with a vise-like grip the long-desired rim, I writhed my person over it, and fell headlong and shuddering within the car.

My body was now leaning toward the side of the car at about a forty-five-degree angle, but that doesn’t mean I was only forty-five degrees off vertical. Not at all; I was still nearly parallel to the horizon. The way I was positioned forced the bottom of the car to tilt significantly away from me, putting me in a situation that was incredibly dangerous. It’s important to remember that when I first fell from the car, if I had landed facing the balloon instead of facing away from it, or if the cord I was hanging from had happened to slip over the top edge instead of through a crack near the bottom of the car, it’s easy to see that in either case, I wouldn’t have even managed what I had achieved so far, and the amazing adventures of Hans Pfaall would have been completely lost to time. So, I had every reason to be thankful; even though, in reality, I was still too dazed to feel anything at all, and hung there—perhaps for about fifteen minutes—in that strange position without making the slightest effort, feeling an oddly peaceful sense of dumb enjoyment. But that feeling quickly faded, replaced by horror, despair, and a chilling sense of total helplessness and doom. The blood that had built up in my head and throat, which had kept my spirits high with madness and delirium, was now starting to flow back to where it belonged, and the clarity this brought only took away my ability to face the danger. Thankfully, this weakness didn’t last long. Soon, desperation kicked in, and with wild screams and struggles, I pulled myself up until finally, with a strong grip, I managed to get hold of the rim, wriggled over it, and collapsed, shuddering, into the car.

“It was not until some time afterward that I recovered myself sufficiently to attend to the ordinary cares of the balloon. I then, however, examined it with attention, and found it, to my great relief, uninjured. My implements were all safe, and, fortunately, I had lost neither ballast nor provisions. Indeed, I had so well secured them in their places, that such an accident was entirely out of the question. Looking at my watch, I found it six o’clock. I was still rapidly ascending, and my barometer gave a present altitude of three and three-quarter miles. Immediately beneath me in the ocean, lay a small black object, slightly oblong in shape, seemingly about the size, and in every way bearing a great resemblance to one of those childish toys called a domino. Bringing my telescope to bear upon it, I plainly discerned it to be a British ninety four-gun ship, close-hauled, and pitching heavily in the sea with her head to the W.S.W. Besides this ship, I saw nothing but the ocean and the sky, and the sun, which had long arisen.

“It wasn't until a while later that I calmed down enough to focus on the usual tasks related to the balloon. I then took a closer look at it and was greatly relieved to find it undamaged. All my tools were safe, and thankfully, I hadn't lost any ballast or supplies. In fact, I had secured them so well that such an accident was completely out of the question. When I checked my watch, it was six o'clock. I was still rising quickly, and my barometer showed an altitude of three and three-quarter miles. Right below me in the ocean was a small black object, somewhat elongated in shape, looking about the size of a child’s toy called a domino. When I brought my telescope to focus on it, I clearly saw it was a British ninety-four-gun ship, sailing close-hauled and pitching heavily in the sea with her head pointed to the W.S.W. Apart from this ship, there was nothing but the ocean and the sky, and the sun, which had long since risen.”

“It is now high time that I should explain to your Excellencies the object of my perilous voyage. Your Excellencies will bear in mind that distressed circumstances in Rotterdam had at length driven me to the resolution of committing suicide. It was not, however, that to life itself I had any positive disgust, but that I was harassed beyond endurance by the adventitious miseries attending my situation. In this state of mind, wishing to live, yet wearied with life, the treatise at the stall of the bookseller opened a resource to my imagination. I then finally made up my mind. I determined to depart, yet live—to leave the world, yet continue to exist—in short, to drop enigmas, I resolved, let what would ensue, to force a passage, if I could, to the moon. Now, lest I should be supposed more of a madman than I actually am, I will detail, as well as I am able, the considerations which led me to believe that an achievement of this nature, although without doubt difficult, and incontestably full of danger, was not absolutely, to a bold spirit, beyond the confines of the possible.

“It’s about time I explain to you all the purpose of my risky journey. You all remember that tough situation in Rotterdam finally pushed me to consider suicide. It wasn’t because I had a strong aversion to life itself, but rather I was overwhelmed by the constant miseries surrounding my circumstances. In this mindset, wanting to live yet tired of life, I stumbled upon a book at the bookseller’s that sparked my imagination. I ultimately made my decision. I resolved to leave, yet still live—to exit the world but remain alive—in short, to put it simply, I decided, no matter what happened, to try to find a way to the moon. Now, to avoid being seen as more insane than I really am, I’ll explain, as best as I can, the reasons that led me to believe that achieving something like this, although undoubtedly tough and certainly dangerous, was not entirely out of reach for someone with a daring spirit.”

“The moon’s actual distance from the earth was the first thing to be attended to. Now, the mean or average interval between the centres of the two planets is 59.9643 of the earth’s equatorial radii, or only about 237,000 miles. I say the mean or average interval, but it must be borne in mind that the form of the moon’s orbit being an ellipse of eccentricity amounting to no less than 0.05484 of the major semi-axis of the ellipse itself, and the earth’s centre being situated in its focus, if I could, in any manner, contrive to meet the moon, as it were, in its perigee, the above mentioned distance would be materially diminished. But, to say nothing at present of this possibility, it was very certain that, at all events, from the 237,000 miles I would have to deduct the radius of the earth, say 4,000, and the radius of the moon, say 1,080, in all 5,080, leaving an actual interval to be traversed, under average circumstances, of 231,920 miles. Now this, I reflected, was no very extraordinary distance. Travelling on land has been repeatedly accomplished at the rate of thirty miles per hour, and indeed a much greater speed may be anticipated. But even at this velocity, it would take me no more than 322 days to reach the surface of the moon. There were, however, many particulars inducing me to believe that my average rate of travelling might possibly very much exceed that of thirty miles per hour, and, as these considerations did not fail to make a deep impression upon my mind, I will mention them more fully hereafter.

The actual distance from the moon to the earth was the first thing that needed to be looked at. The average distance between the centers of the two bodies is 59.9643 of the earth's equatorial radii, or about 237,000 miles. I mention the average distance, but it’s important to note that since the moon's orbit is an ellipse with an eccentricity of 0.05484 relative to the major semi-axis, and the earth’s center is at one of its foci, if I could manage to meet the moon at its closest point (perigee), that distance would be significantly less. But setting that possibility aside for now, it’s clear that from the 237,000 miles, I need to subtract the radius of the earth, about 4,000 miles, and the radius of the moon, roughly 1,080 miles, totaling 5,080 miles. This leaves an actual distance to cover, under normal conditions, of 231,920 miles. I thought about it, and that's not an outrageous distance. Traveling on land has often been done at 30 miles per hour, and even higher speeds are possible. But even at that speed, it would only take me about 322 days to reach the moon's surface. However, there are many factors that lead me to believe my average speed might be significantly higher than 30 miles per hour, and since these thoughts left a strong impression on me, I’ll elaborate on them more later.

“The next point to be regarded was a matter of far greater importance. From indications afforded by the barometer, we find that, in ascensions from the surface of the earth we have, at the height of 1,000 feet, left below us about one-thirtieth of the entire mass of atmospheric air, that at 10,600 we have ascended through nearly one-third; and that at 18,000, which is not far from the elevation of Cotopaxi, we have surmounted one-half the material, or, at all events, one-half the ponderable, body of air incumbent upon our globe. It is also calculated that at an altitude not exceeding the hundredth part of the earth’s diameter—that is, not exceeding eighty miles—the rarefaction would be so excessive that animal life could in no manner be sustained, and, moreover, that the most delicate means we possess of ascertaining the presence of the atmosphere would be inadequate to assure us of its existence. But I did not fail to perceive that these latter calculations are founded altogether on our experimental knowledge of the properties of air, and the mechanical laws regulating its dilation and compression, in what may be called, comparatively speaking, the immediate vicinity of the earth itself; and, at the same time, it is taken for granted that animal life is and must be essentially incapable of modification at any given unattainable distance from the surface. Now, all such reasoning and from such data must, of course, be simply analogical. The greatest height ever reached by man was that of 25,000 feet, attained in the aeronautic expedition of Messieurs Gay-Lussac and Biot. This is a moderate altitude, even when compared with the eighty miles in question; and I could not help thinking that the subject admitted room for doubt and great latitude for speculation.

The next thing to consider is much more important. Based on barometric readings, we find that when we rise 1,000 feet above the earth’s surface, about one-thirtieth of the total mass of atmospheric air is left below us. At 10,600 feet, we’ve ascended through nearly one-third of it, and at 18,000 feet, close to the height of Cotopaxi, we’ve surpassed half of the air’s mass weighing down on our planet. It’s estimated that at an altitude not exceeding one-hundredth of the earth’s diameter—that is, not more than eighty miles—the thinning of the air would be so extreme that animal life couldn’t be sustained at all, and, on top of that, our most sensitive instruments to detect the atmosphere would fail to confirm its presence. However, I noticed that these later estimates are entirely based on our experimental understanding of air’s properties and the mechanical laws that govern its expansion and compression, particularly within what we can regard as the immediate vicinity of the earth. Furthermore, it’s assumed that animal life cannot significantly change at any given unreachable distance from the surface. All this reasoning, based on those data, must, of course, be considered purely analogical. The highest altitude ever reached by humans was 25,000 feet, achieved during the balloon expedition of Messieurs Gay-Lussac and Biot. This height is modest compared to the eighty miles in question, and I couldn't help but think that this topic leaves plenty of room for doubt and speculation.

“But, in point of fact, an ascension being made to any given altitude, the ponderable quantity of air surmounted in any farther ascension is by no means in proportion to the additional height ascended (as may be plainly seen from what has been stated before), but in a ratio constantly decreasing. It is therefore evident that, ascend as high as we may, we cannot, literally speaking, arrive at a limit beyond which no atmosphere is to be found. It must exist, I argued; although it may exist in a state of infinite rarefaction.

“But, in reality, once we reach a certain altitude, the amount of air above us in any further ascent is not proportional to the extra height gained (as can be clearly seen from what has been said before), but instead decreases steadily. Therefore, it’s clear that no matter how high we go, we can’t actually reach a point where there’s no atmosphere at all. It must still be there, I argued, even if it exists in a state of extreme rarity.”

“On the other hand, I was aware that arguments have not been wanting to prove the existence of a real and definite limit to the atmosphere, beyond which there is absolutely no air whatsoever. But a circumstance which has been left out of view by those who contend for such a limit seemed to me, although no positive refutation of their creed, still a point worthy very serious investigation. On comparing the intervals between the successive arrivals of Encke’s comet at its perihelion, after giving credit, in the most exact manner, for all the disturbances due to the attractions of the planets, it appears that the periods are gradually diminishing; that is to say, the major axis of the comet’s ellipse is growing shorter, in a slow but perfectly regular decrease. Now, this is precisely what ought to be the case, if we suppose a resistance experienced from the comet from an extremely rare ethereal medium pervading the regions of its orbit. For it is evident that such a medium must, in retarding the comet’s velocity, increase its centripetal, by weakening its centrifugal force. In other words, the sun’s attraction would be constantly attaining greater power, and the comet would be drawn nearer at every revolution. Indeed, there is no other way of accounting for the variation in question. But again:—The real diameter of the same comet’s nebulosity is observed to contract rapidly as it approaches the sun, and dilate with equal rapidity in its departure towards its aphelion. Was I not justifiable in supposing with M. Valz, that this apparent condensation of volume has its origin in the compression of the same ethereal medium I have spoken of before, and which is only denser in proportion to its solar vicinity? The lenticular-shaped phenomenon, also called the zodiacal light, was a matter worthy of attention. This radiance, so apparent in the tropics, and which cannot be mistaken for any meteoric lustre, extends from the horizon obliquely upward, and follows generally the direction of the sun’s equator. It appeared to me evidently in the nature of a rare atmosphere extending from the sun outward, beyond the orbit of Venus at least, and I believed indefinitely farther.(*2) Indeed, this medium I could not suppose confined to the path of the comet’s ellipse, or to the immediate neighborhood of the sun. It was easy, on the contrary, to imagine it pervading the entire regions of our planetary system, condensed into what we call atmosphere at the planets themselves, and perhaps at some of them modified by considerations, so to speak, purely geological.

“On the other hand, I realized that there has been no shortage of arguments claiming that there is a real and definite boundary to the atmosphere, beyond which there is absolutely no air. However, a point that those who argue for such a limit often overlook seemed to me important to investigate seriously, even though it doesn't directly refute their beliefs. When I looked at the intervals between the successive arrivals of Encke’s comet at its closest point to the sun, after accounting for all the disturbances caused by the gravitational pull of the planets as accurately as possible, it became clear that these periods are gradually getting shorter; that is, the major axis of the comet’s orbit is slowly and steadily decreasing. This is exactly what we would expect if the comet is facing resistance from an extremely thin ethereal medium that fills the areas of its orbit. Clearly, such a medium would slow the comet's speed, increasing its centripetal force by weakening its centrifugal force. In simpler terms, the sun’s gravitational pull would grow stronger, drawing the comet closer with each orbit. There seems to be no other explanation for this change. Additionally, the actual size of the comet’s nebulosity is observed to shrink quickly as it gets closer to the sun and expands just as rapidly when it moves away towards its farthest point. Was it unreasonable for me to think, along with M. Valz, that this apparent change in volume comes from the compression of the same ethereal medium I've mentioned, which becomes denser the closer it is to the sun? The phenomenon of the lenticular shape, also known as the zodiacal light, caught my attention. This brightness, clearly visible in the tropics and not to be confused with any meteor-related glow, stretches from the horizon upward at an angle, generally following the direction of the sun’s equator. To me, it clearly appeared to be a rare atmosphere extending from the sun outward, reaching at least beyond Venus' orbit, and I believed it went even further indefinitely. In fact, I couldn't assume that this medium was limited to the path of the comet’s orbit or just the area around the sun. On the contrary, it was easy to imagine it spreading throughout our entire planetary system, condensed into what we refer to as atmosphere on the planets themselves, and perhaps modified by purely geological factors on some of them.”

“Having adopted this view of the subject, I had little further hesitation. Granting that on my passage I should meet with atmosphere essentially the same as at the surface of the earth, I conceived that, by means of the very ingenious apparatus of M. Grimm, I should readily be enabled to condense it in sufficient quantity for the purposes of respiration. This would remove the chief obstacle in a journey to the moon. I had indeed spent some money and great labor in adapting the apparatus to the object intended, and confidently looked forward to its successful application, if I could manage to complete the voyage within any reasonable period. This brings me back to the rate at which it might be possible to travel.

“Having adopted this perspective on the subject, I had little hesitation left. Assuming that during my journey I would encounter an atmosphere similar to that at the Earth's surface, I believed that with the clever device from M. Grimm, I could easily collect enough of it for breathing. This would eliminate the main obstacle in traveling to the moon. I had indeed invested some money and considerable effort in modifying the device for this purpose, and I was optimistic about its successful use if I could complete the journey in a reasonable time. This leads me back to the speed at which it might be possible to travel.”

“It is true that balloons, in the first stage of their ascensions from the earth, are known to rise with a velocity comparatively moderate. Now, the power of elevation lies altogether in the superior lightness of the gas in the balloon compared with the atmospheric air; and, at first sight, it does not appear probable that, as the balloon acquires altitude, and consequently arrives successively in atmospheric strata of densities rapidly diminishing—I say, it does not appear at all reasonable that, in this its progress upwards, the original velocity should be accelerated. On the other hand, I was not aware that, in any recorded ascension, a diminution was apparent in the absolute rate of ascent; although such should have been the case, if on account of nothing else, on account of the escape of gas through balloons ill-constructed, and varnished with no better material than the ordinary varnish. It seemed, therefore, that the effect of such escape was only sufficient to counterbalance the effect of some accelerating power. I now considered that, provided in my passage I found the medium I had imagined, and provided that it should prove to be actually and essentially what we denominate atmospheric air, it could make comparatively little difference at what extreme state of rarefaction I should discover it—that is to say, in regard to my power of ascending—for the gas in the balloon would not only be itself subject to rarefaction partially similar (in proportion to the occurrence of which, I could suffer an escape of so much as would be requisite to prevent explosion), but, being what it was, would, at all events, continue specifically lighter than any compound whatever of mere nitrogen and oxygen. In the meantime, the force of gravitation would be constantly diminishing, in proportion to the squares of the distances, and thus, with a velocity prodigiously accelerating, I should at length arrive in those distant regions where the force of the earth’s attraction would be superseded by that of the moon. In accordance with these ideas, I did not think it worth while to encumber myself with more provisions than would be sufficient for a period of forty days.

“It’s true that balloons, when they first lift off from the earth, rise at a relatively moderate speed. The ability to rise comes from the gas inside the balloon being much lighter than the air around it; at first glance, it doesn’t seem likely that as the balloon gains height and moves into layers of decreasing density, the original speed would increase. However, I hadn’t encountered any documented cases where the rate of ascent slowed down, even though it should have, especially considering gas escapes from poorly made balloons coated with nothing better than regular varnish. It appeared that the effect of gas escaping was only enough to balance out some accelerating force. I then thought that as long as I encountered the medium I imagined, and it turned out to be what we call atmospheric air, it wouldn’t matter much what level of thinness I found it at regarding my ability to ascend—since the gas in the balloon would also be partially experiencing a similar thinning (and I could let out just enough to prevent an explosion), it would still be lighter than any combination of just nitrogen and oxygen. Meanwhile, the force of gravity would be constantly decreasing, in relation to the square of the distances, which meant that, at a rapidly increasing speed, I would eventually reach those far-off areas where the moon’s gravitational pull would replace that of the earth. Based on these thoughts, I didn’t think it was necessary to pack more supplies than what would last for 40 days.”

“There was still, however, another difficulty, which occasioned me some little disquietude. It has been observed, that, in balloon ascensions to any considerable height, besides the pain attending respiration, great uneasiness is experienced about the head and body, often accompanied with bleeding at the nose, and other symptoms of an alarming kind, and growing more and more inconvenient in proportion to the altitude attained.(*3) This was a reflection of a nature somewhat startling. Was it not probable that these symptoms would increase indefinitely, or at least until terminated by death itself? I finally thought not. Their origin was to be looked for in the progressive removal of the customary atmospheric pressure upon the surface of the body, and consequent distention of the superficial blood-vessels—not in any positive disorganization of the animal system, as in the case of difficulty in breathing, where the atmospheric density is chemically insufficient for the due renovation of blood in a ventricle of the heart. Unless for default of this renovation, I could see no reason, therefore, why life could not be sustained even in a vacuum; for the expansion and compression of chest, commonly called breathing, is action purely muscular, and the cause, not the effect, of respiration. In a word, I conceived that, as the body should become habituated to the want of atmospheric pressure, the sensations of pain would gradually diminish—and to endure them while they continued, I relied with confidence upon the iron hardihood of my constitution.

There was still another challenge that caused me some anxiety. It's been noted that during balloon ascensions to significant heights, in addition to the discomfort of breathing, people often feel a lot of unease in their heads and bodies, frequently accompanied by bleeding from the nose and other alarming symptoms, which become increasingly bothersome the higher you go. This thought was somewhat disturbing. Wasn’t it likely that these symptoms would keep getting worse, or at least until death? In the end, I thought not. Their cause seemed to come from the gradual decrease in the usual atmospheric pressure on the body’s surface, which leads to the swelling of superficial blood vessels—not from any actual breakdown of the body, as in cases of breathing difficulties where the atmospheric pressure isn’t sufficient for properly renewing the blood in the heart. Unless this renewal was lacking, I couldn’t see why life couldn’t be sustained even in a vacuum; after all, the expansion and contraction of the chest, known as breathing, is purely a muscular action and the cause, not the result, of respiration. In short, I believed that as the body adjusted to the lack of atmospheric pressure, the sensations of pain would gradually lessen—and to endure them while they lasted, I trusted in the toughness of my constitution.

“Thus, may it please your Excellencies, I have detailed some, though by no means all, the considerations which led me to form the project of a lunar voyage. I shall now proceed to lay before you the result of an attempt so apparently audacious in conception, and, at all events, so utterly unparalleled in the annals of mankind.

“Therefore, if it pleases you, I have outlined some of the reasons that prompted me to think about a lunar voyage, though they are by no means all of them. I will now present the outcome of an attempt that seems incredibly bold in its conception and, in any case, completely unmatched in human history."

“Having attained the altitude before mentioned, that is to say three miles and three-quarters, I threw out from the car a quantity of feathers, and found that I still ascended with sufficient rapidity; there was, therefore, no necessity for discharging any ballast. I was glad of this, for I wished to retain with me as much weight as I could carry, for reasons which will be explained in the sequel. I as yet suffered no bodily inconvenience, breathing with great freedom, and feeling no pain whatever in the head. The cat was lying very demurely upon my coat, which I had taken off, and eyeing the pigeons with an air of nonchalance. These latter being tied by the leg, to prevent their escape, were busily employed in picking up some grains of rice scattered for them in the bottom of the car.

"Having reached the altitude mentioned earlier, which is three miles and three-quarters, I tossed out a bunch of feathers from the car and noticed that I continued to ascend quickly; therefore, I didn’t need to drop any ballast. I was relieved by this since I wanted to keep as much weight as possible for reasons that will be explained later. I wasn't feeling any physical discomfort, breathing easily and experiencing no pain in my head. The cat was lying calmly on my coat, which I had taken off, watching the pigeons with a relaxed demeanor. The pigeons, tied by the leg to prevent their escape, were busy pecking at some grains of rice I had scattered on the floor of the car."

“At twenty minutes past six o’clock, the barometer showed an elevation of 26,400 feet, or five miles to a fraction. The prospect seemed unbounded. Indeed, it is very easily calculated by means of spherical geometry, what a great extent of the earth’s area I beheld. The convex surface of any segment of a sphere is, to the entire surface of the sphere itself, as the versed sine of the segment to the diameter of the sphere. Now, in my case, the versed sine—that is to say, the thickness of the segment beneath me—was about equal to my elevation, or the elevation of the point of sight above the surface. ‘As five miles, then, to eight thousand,’ would express the proportion of the earth’s area seen by me. In other words, I beheld as much as a sixteen-hundredth part of the whole surface of the globe. The sea appeared unruffled as a mirror, although, by means of the spy-glass, I could perceive it to be in a state of violent agitation. The ship was no longer visible, having drifted away, apparently to the eastward. I now began to experience, at intervals, severe pain in the head, especially about the ears—still, however, breathing with tolerable freedom. The cat and pigeons seemed to suffer no inconvenience whatsoever.

“At twenty minutes past six, the barometer read an altitude of 26,400 feet, or just over five miles. The view was incredible. It’s easy to calculate, using spherical geometry, how much of the earth’s surface I could see. The curved surface of a segment of a sphere relates to the entire sphere itself like the versed sine of the segment relates to the diameter of the sphere. In my situation, the versed sine—meaning the thickness of the segment below me—was about the same as my elevation, or the height of my viewpoint above the surface. ‘As five miles to eight thousand’ would describe the proportion of the earth’s area I could see. In simpler terms, I could see about one sixteenth-hundredth of the entire globe’s surface. The sea looked completely calm, like a mirror, but through the binoculars, I could see it was actually quite turbulent. The ship was no longer in sight; it had drifted away, probably to the east. I was starting to feel sharp pain in my head, especially around my ears, but I could still breathe relatively easily. The cat and the pigeons didn’t seem to be affected at all.”

“At twenty minutes before seven, the balloon entered a long series of dense cloud, which put me to great trouble, by damaging my condensing apparatus and wetting me to the skin. This was, to be sure, a singular recontre, for I had not believed it possible that a cloud of this nature could be sustained at so great an elevation. I thought it best, however, to throw out two five-pound pieces of ballast, reserving still a weight of one hundred and sixty-five pounds. Upon so doing, I soon rose above the difficulty, and perceived immediately, that I had obtained a great increase in my rate of ascent. In a few seconds after my leaving the cloud, a flash of vivid lightning shot from one end of it to the other, and caused it to kindle up, throughout its vast extent, like a mass of ignited and glowing charcoal. This, it must be remembered, was in the broad light of day. No fancy may picture the sublimity which might have been exhibited by a similar phenomenon taking place amid the darkness of the night. Hell itself might have been found a fitting image. Even as it was, my hair stood on end, while I gazed afar down within the yawning abysses, letting imagination descend, as it were, and stalk about in the strange vaulted halls, and ruddy gulfs, and red ghastly chasms of the hideous and unfathomable fire. I had indeed made a narrow escape. Had the balloon remained a very short while longer within the cloud—that is to say—had not the inconvenience of getting wet, determined me to discharge the ballast, inevitable ruin would have been the consequence. Such perils, although little considered, are perhaps the greatest which must be encountered in balloons. I had by this time, however, attained too great an elevation to be any longer uneasy on this head.

At twenty minutes before seven, the balloon entered a long stretch of dense clouds, which caused me a lot of trouble by damaging my condensing equipment and soaking me completely. This was certainly a strange encounter, as I didn’t think a cloud like that could exist at such a high altitude. Still, I decided to throw out two five-pound weights, keeping a total of one hundred sixty-five pounds. After doing that, I quickly rose above the issue and immediately noticed a significant increase in my rate of ascent. Just a few seconds after I left the cloud, a bright flash of lightning shot across it, illuminating the entire area like a pile of burning charcoal. Remember, this was happening in broad daylight. It's hard to imagine the awe that a similar scene would have inspired in the darkness of night—hell itself might have seemed an appropriate image. Even in daylight, my hair stood on end as I gazed down into the gaping depths, letting my imagination wander through strange, vaulted halls and fiery chasms of horrifying and unfathomable flames. I had truly narrowly escaped disaster. If the balloon had stayed in the cloud just a bit longer—if I hadn’t been inconvenienced by getting wet and decided to dump the ballast, I would have faced inevitable ruin. Those dangers, though often overlooked, are perhaps the greatest that balloonists must confront. However, by this point, I had climbed too high to worry about that anymore.

“I was now rising rapidly, and by seven o’clock the barometer indicated an altitude of no less than nine miles and a half. I began to find great difficulty in drawing my breath. My head, too, was excessively painful; and, having felt for some time a moisture about my cheeks, I at length discovered it to be blood, which was oozing quite fast from the drums of my ears. My eyes, also, gave me great uneasiness. Upon passing the hand over them they seemed to have protruded from their sockets in no inconsiderable degree; and all objects in the car, and even the balloon itself, appeared distorted to my vision. These symptoms were more than I had expected, and occasioned me some alarm. At this juncture, very imprudently, and without consideration, I threw out from the car three five-pound pieces of ballast. The accelerated rate of ascent thus obtained, carried me too rapidly, and without sufficient gradation, into a highly rarefied stratum of the atmosphere, and the result had nearly proved fatal to my expedition and to myself. I was suddenly seized with a spasm which lasted for more than five minutes, and even when this, in a measure, ceased, I could catch my breath only at long intervals, and in a gasping manner—bleeding all the while copiously at the nose and ears, and even slightly at the eyes. The pigeons appeared distressed in the extreme, and struggled to escape; while the cat mewed piteously, and, with her tongue hanging out of her mouth, staggered to and fro in the car as if under the influence of poison. I now too late discovered the great rashness of which I had been guilty in discharging the ballast, and my agitation was excessive. I anticipated nothing less than death, and death in a few minutes. The physical suffering I underwent contributed also to render me nearly incapable of making any exertion for the preservation of my life. I had, indeed, little power of reflection left, and the violence of the pain in my head seemed to be greatly on the increase. Thus I found that my senses would shortly give way altogether, and I had already clutched one of the valve ropes with the view of attempting a descent, when the recollection of the trick I had played the three creditors, and the possible consequences to myself, should I return, operated to deter me for the moment. I lay down in the bottom of the car, and endeavored to collect my faculties. In this I so far succeeded as to determine upon the experiment of losing blood. Having no lancet, however, I was constrained to perform the operation in the best manner I was able, and finally succeeded in opening a vein in my right arm, with the blade of my penknife. The blood had hardly commenced flowing when I experienced a sensible relief, and by the time I had lost about half a moderate basin full, most of the worst symptoms had abandoned me entirely. I nevertheless did not think it expedient to attempt getting on my feet immediately; but, having tied up my arm as well as I could, I lay still for about a quarter of an hour. At the end of this time I arose, and found myself freer from absolute pain of any kind than I had been during the last hour and a quarter of my ascension. The difficulty of breathing, however, was diminished in a very slight degree, and I found that it would soon be positively necessary to make use of my condenser. In the meantime, looking toward the cat, who was again snugly stowed away upon my coat, I discovered to my infinite surprise, that she had taken the opportunity of my indisposition to bring into light a litter of three little kittens. This was an addition to the number of passengers on my part altogether unexpected; but I was pleased at the occurrence. It would afford me a chance of bringing to a kind of test the truth of a surmise, which, more than anything else, had influenced me in attempting this ascension. I had imagined that the habitual endurance of the atmospheric pressure at the surface of the earth was the cause, or nearly so, of the pain attending animal existence at a distance above the surface. Should the kittens be found to suffer uneasiness in an equal degree with their mother, I must consider my theory in fault, but a failure to do so I should look upon as a strong confirmation of my idea.

“I was now rising quickly, and by seven o’clock the barometer showed an altitude of at least nine and a half miles. I started having a lot of trouble breathing. My head was also extremely painful; and after feeling some moisture on my cheeks for a while, I finally realized it was blood, which was oozing quite quickly from my ears. My eyes were bothering me too. When I touched them, they felt like they had bulged out of their sockets quite a bit, and everything in the car, even the balloon itself, appeared distorted to me. These symptoms were more than I had expected and caused me some alarm. At that moment, very foolishly and without thinking, I tossed out three five-pound weights of ballast from the car. The faster ascent this created took me too quickly and without enough gradual change into a highly rarefied part of the atmosphere, and the result nearly turned fatal for my expedition and for me. I was suddenly hit with a spasm that lasted more than five minutes, and even when it somewhat ceased, I could only catch my breath at long intervals and in a gasping manner—bleeding profusely from my nose and ears, and even a bit from my eyes. The pigeons looked extremely distressed and struggled to escape; while the cat meowed pitifully, staggering back and forth in the car with her tongue hanging out, as if she were poisoned. I now realized too late how reckless I had been in getting rid of the ballast, and I was extremely agitated. I expected nothing less than death, and death very soon. The physical pain I was enduring also made me nearly incapable of making any efforts to save my life. I had very little ability to think left, and the pain in my head seemed to be growing much worse. I felt like my senses were about to fail altogether, and I had already grabbed one of the valve ropes to try to descend when the memory of the trick I had played on the three creditors, and what could happen to me if I returned, held me back for the moment. I lay down in the bottom of the car and tried to gather my thoughts. In this, I managed to decide on the idea of losing some blood. However, having no lancet, I had to perform the operation as best as I could, and eventually succeeded in opening a vein in my right arm with my penknife. The blood had hardly started flowing when I felt significant relief, and by the time I lost about half a moderate bowl full, most of the worst symptoms completely disappeared. I still didn’t think it was wise to try to stand up immediately; but after tying up my arm as well as I could, I lay still for about fifteen minutes. At the end of this time, I got up and found myself feeling less pain than I had in the last hour and a quarter of my ascent. The difficulty breathing, however, was only slightly better, and it became clear that I would soon need to use my condenser. Meanwhile, looking at the cat, who was once again comfortably curled up on my coat, I was incredibly surprised to discover that she had taken advantage of my illness to reveal a litter of three little kittens. This was an unexpected addition to my number of passengers, but I was pleased by it. It would give me a chance to test a theory that had, more than anything else, motivated me to attempt this ascent. I had thought that the usual pressure of the atmosphere at the Earth’s surface was the primary cause of the pain experienced by living creatures at a height above the surface. If the kittens showed as much discomfort as their mother, I would have to consider my theory wrong, but if they did not, I would see it as a strong confirmation of my idea.”

“By eight o’clock I had actually attained an elevation of seventeen miles above the surface of the earth. Thus it seemed to me evident that my rate of ascent was not only on the increase, but that the progression would have been apparent in a slight degree even had I not discharged the ballast which I did. The pains in my head and ears returned, at intervals, with violence, and I still continued to bleed occasionally at the nose; but, upon the whole, I suffered much less than might have been expected. I breathed, however, at every moment, with more and more difficulty, and each inhalation was attended with a troublesome spasmodic action of the chest. I now unpacked the condensing apparatus, and got it ready for immediate use.

“By eight o’clock, I had actually reached an altitude of seventeen miles above the earth's surface. It seemed clear to me that my rate of ascent was not only increasing, but that the progress would have been noticeable to some extent even if I hadn't released the ballast that I did. The pain in my head and ears returned, intermittently and intensely, and I continued to bleed from my nose occasionally; however, overall, I suffered much less than I might have expected. I was breathing, though, with increasing difficulty, and each breath came with a bothersome spasm in my chest. I now unpacked the condensing apparatus and prepared it for immediate use.”

“The view of the earth, at this period of my ascension, was beautiful indeed. To the westward, the northward, and the southward, as far as I could see, lay a boundless sheet of apparently unruffled ocean, which every moment gained a deeper and a deeper tint of blue and began already to assume a slight appearance of convexity. At a vast distance to the eastward, although perfectly discernible, extended the islands of Great Britain, the entire Atlantic coasts of France and Spain, with a small portion of the northern part of the continent of Africa. Of individual edifices not a trace could be discovered, and the proudest cities of mankind had utterly faded away from the face of the earth. From the rock of Gibraltar, now dwindled into a dim speck, the dark Mediterranean sea, dotted with shining islands as the heaven is dotted with stars, spread itself out to the eastward as far as my vision extended, until its entire mass of waters seemed at length to tumble headlong over the abyss of the horizon, and I found myself listening on tiptoe for the echoes of the mighty cataract. Overhead, the sky was of a jetty black, and the stars were brilliantly visible.

The view of the earth during this part of my ascent was truly beautiful. To the west, north, and south, as far as I could see, there was an endless expanse of seemingly calm ocean, which every moment deepened into a richer blue and started to appear slightly curved. In the far distance to the east, though clearly visible, were the islands of Great Britain, the entire Atlantic coasts of France and Spain, along with a small part of northern Africa. There was no sign of individual buildings, and the greatest cities of humanity had completely disappeared from the landscape. From the rock of Gibraltar, now reduced to a tiny dot, the dark Mediterranean Sea, speckled with bright islands like stars in the sky, stretched out to the east as far as I could see, until the waters seemed to spill over the edge of the horizon, and I found myself straining to hear the echoes of the great waterfall. Above me, the sky was pitch black, and the stars shone brightly.

“The pigeons about this time seeming to undergo much suffering, I determined upon giving them their liberty. I first untied one of them, a beautiful gray-mottled pigeon, and placed him upon the rim of the wicker-work. He appeared extremely uneasy, looking anxiously around him, fluttering his wings, and making a loud cooing noise, but could not be persuaded to trust himself from off the car. I took him up at last, and threw him to about half a dozen yards from the balloon. He made, however, no attempt to descend as I had expected, but struggled with great vehemence to get back, uttering at the same time very shrill and piercing cries. He at length succeeded in regaining his former station on the rim, but had hardly done so when his head dropped upon his breast, and he fell dead within the car. The other one did not prove so unfortunate. To prevent his following the example of his companion, and accomplishing a return, I threw him downward with all my force, and was pleased to find him continue his descent, with great velocity, making use of his wings with ease, and in a perfectly natural manner. In a very short time he was out of sight, and I have no doubt he reached home in safety. Puss, who seemed in a great measure recovered from her illness, now made a hearty meal of the dead bird and then went to sleep with much apparent satisfaction. Her kittens were quite lively, and so far evinced not the slightest sign of any uneasiness whatever.

“The pigeons seemed to be suffering a lot around this time, so I decided to set them free. I first untied one, a beautiful gray-mottled pigeon, and placed him on the edge of the wicker basket. He looked really uneasy, scanning his surroundings, flapping his wings, and cooing loudly, but he wouldn’t jump off the balloon. Eventually, I picked him up and threw him about six feet away from the balloon. However, instead of descending as I expected, he struggled hard to get back, letting out sharp, piercing cries. He finally managed to hop back onto the edge, but as soon as he did, his head dropped onto his chest, and he fell dead in the basket. The other one was luckier. To stop him from doing the same thing and trying to come back, I threw him down with all my strength, and I was happy to see him descend quickly, using his wings naturally. Soon, he was out of sight, and I have no doubt he made it home safely. Puss, who seemed mostly recovered from her illness, had a good meal of the dead bird and then went to sleep looking very satisfied. Her kittens were quite lively and showed no signs of distress at all.”

“At a quarter-past eight, being no longer able to draw breath without the most intolerable pain, I proceeded forthwith to adjust around the car the apparatus belonging to the condenser. This apparatus will require some little explanation, and your Excellencies will please to bear in mind that my object, in the first place, was to surround myself and cat entirely with a barricade against the highly rarefied atmosphere in which I was existing, with the intention of introducing within this barricade, by means of my condenser, a quantity of this same atmosphere sufficiently condensed for the purposes of respiration. With this object in view I had prepared a very strong perfectly air-tight, but flexible gum-elastic bag. In this bag, which was of sufficient dimensions, the entire car was in a manner placed. That is to say, it (the bag) was drawn over the whole bottom of the car, up its sides, and so on, along the outside of the ropes, to the upper rim or hoop where the net-work is attached. Having pulled the bag up in this way, and formed a complete enclosure on all sides, and at bottom, it was now necessary to fasten up its top or mouth, by passing its material over the hoop of the net-work—in other words, between the net-work and the hoop. But if the net-work were separated from the hoop to admit this passage, what was to sustain the car in the meantime? Now the net-work was not permanently fastened to the hoop, but attached by a series of running loops or nooses. I therefore undid only a few of these loops at one time, leaving the car suspended by the remainder. Having thus inserted a portion of the cloth forming the upper part of the bag, I refastened the loops—not to the hoop, for that would have been impossible, since the cloth now intervened—but to a series of large buttons, affixed to the cloth itself, about three feet below the mouth of the bag, the intervals between the buttons having been made to correspond to the intervals between the loops. This done, a few more of the loops were unfastened from the rim, a farther portion of the cloth introduced, and the disengaged loops then connected with their proper buttons. In this way it was possible to insert the whole upper part of the bag between the net-work and the hoop. It is evident that the hoop would now drop down within the car, while the whole weight of the car itself, with all its contents, would be held up merely by the strength of the buttons. This, at first sight, would seem an inadequate dependence; but it was by no means so, for the buttons were not only very strong in themselves, but so close together that a very slight portion of the whole weight was supported by any one of them. Indeed, had the car and contents been three times heavier than they were, I should not have been at all uneasy. I now raised up the hoop again within the covering of gum-elastic, and propped it at nearly its former height by means of three light poles prepared for the occasion. This was done, of course, to keep the bag distended at the top, and to preserve the lower part of the net-work in its proper situation. All that now remained was to fasten up the mouth of the enclosure; and this was readily accomplished by gathering the folds of the material together, and twisting them up very tightly on the inside by means of a kind of stationary tourniquet.

“At a quarter past eight, unable to breathe anymore without excruciating pain, I immediately started to set up the apparatus for the condenser around the car. This apparatus needs a bit of explanation, and please understand, my main goal was to create a barrier for myself and my cat against the extremely thin atmosphere I was in, with the aim of bringing in a quantity of this same atmosphere that was dense enough for breathing, using my condenser. To achieve this, I had prepared a strong, perfectly airtight, yet flexible rubber bag. This bag was large enough to encompass the entire car. In other words, it was pulled over the entire bottom of the car, up the sides, and around the outside of the ropes to the upper rim or hoop where the netting is attached. After pulling the bag up in this way and creating a complete enclosure on all sides and at the bottom, I now needed to secure its top or opening by passing its material over the hoop of the netting—in other words, between the netting and the hoop. But if I separated the netting from the hoop to allow for this, what would support the car in the meantime? The netting wasn't permanently secured to the hoop but was instead connected by a series of running loops or nooses. Therefore, I only undid a few of these loops at a time, leaving the car supported by the rest. Having then inserted part of the fabric making up the upper section of the bag, I refastened the loops—not to the hoop, which would have been impossible since the fabric was now in the way—but to a series of large buttons sewn onto the fabric itself, about three feet below the opening of the bag, with the spaces between the buttons matching the spaces between the loops. Once this was done, I unfastened a few more of the loops from the rim, introduced more fabric, and then connected the loose loops with their corresponding buttons. This allowed me to insert the entire upper part of the bag between the netting and the hoop. Clearly, the hoop would now drop down inside the car, while the full weight of the car and everything inside it would be supported solely by the strength of the buttons. At first glance, this might seem like a flimsy support; however, it was anything but, as the buttons were not only very strong on their own, but they were also spaced so closely together that a very small portion of the total weight was carried by any single button. In fact, even if the car and its contents had been three times heavier, I wouldn’t have felt any concern. I then lifted the hoop back up inside the rubber covering and supported it at nearly its former height with three lightweight poles I had prepared for this purpose. This was, of course, to keep the bag open at the top and maintain the lower part of the netting in its proper position. All that was left to do now was to secure the opening of the enclosure, which I easily accomplished by gathering the folds of the material and twisting them tightly on the inside with a kind of stationary tourniquet.”

“In the sides of the covering thus adjusted round the car, had been inserted three circular panes of thick but clear glass, through which I could see without difficulty around me in every horizontal direction. In that portion of the cloth forming the bottom, was likewise, a fourth window, of the same kind, and corresponding with a small aperture in the floor of the car itself. This enabled me to see perpendicularly down, but having found it impossible to place any similar contrivance overhead, on account of the peculiar manner of closing up the opening there, and the consequent wrinkles in the cloth, I could expect to see no objects situated directly in my zenith. This, of course, was a matter of little consequence; for had I even been able to place a window at top, the balloon itself would have prevented my making any use of it.

"In the sides of the covering adjusted around the car, there were three circular panes of thick but clear glass, allowing me to see easily in every horizontal direction. In the portion of the fabric forming the bottom, there was also a fourth window, the same type, corresponding with a small opening in the car's floor. This let me see straight down, but I found it impossible to put a similar window overhead because of the way the opening was closed and the resulting wrinkles in the fabric, so I couldn’t see anything directly above me. This wasn't really a big deal; even if I had managed to install a window on top, the balloon would have blocked my view anyway."

“About a foot below one of the side windows was a circular opening, eight inches in diameter, and fitted with a brass rim adapted in its inner edge to the windings of a screw. In this rim was screwed the large tube of the condenser, the body of the machine being, of course, within the chamber of gum-elastic. Through this tube a quantity of the rare atmosphere circumjacent being drawn by means of a vacuum created in the body of the machine, was thence discharged, in a state of condensation, to mingle with the thin air already in the chamber. This operation being repeated several times, at length filled the chamber with atmosphere proper for all the purposes of respiration. But in so confined a space it would, in a short time, necessarily become foul, and unfit for use from frequent contact with the lungs. It was then ejected by a small valve at the bottom of the car—the dense air readily sinking into the thinner atmosphere below. To avoid the inconvenience of making a total vacuum at any moment within the chamber, this purification was never accomplished all at once, but in a gradual manner—the valve being opened only for a few seconds, then closed again, until one or two strokes from the pump of the condenser had supplied the place of the atmosphere ejected. For the sake of experiment I had put the cat and kittens in a small basket, and suspended it outside the car to a button at the bottom, close by the valve, through which I could feed them at any moment when necessary. I did this at some little risk, and before closing the mouth of the chamber, by reaching under the car with one of the poles before mentioned to which a hook had been attached.

About a foot below one of the side windows was a circular opening, eight inches in diameter, fitted with a brass rim designed to hold a screw. The large tube of the condenser was screwed into this rim, with the rest of the machine housed inside a chamber made of rubber. Through this tube, a certain amount of the surrounding rare air was drawn into the machine using a vacuum created within its body, then discharged in a condensed state to mix with the thin air already in the chamber. After repeating this process several times, the chamber was filled with breathable air. However, in such a confined space, it would quickly become stale and unsuitable for breathing due to constant contact with lungs. It was then released through a small valve at the bottom of the car—the denser air would sink into the thinner atmosphere below. To prevent creating a complete vacuum at any point within the chamber, this air purification was done gradually; the valve was opened for just a few seconds and then closed again until one or two strokes of the condenser’s pump replenished the atmosphere that was ejected. For the sake of experimentation, I had placed the cat and kittens in a small basket and suspended it outside the car on a button near the valve, allowing me to feed them when needed. I did this with some risk and before sealing the chamber, using one of the poles mentioned earlier with a hook attached to reach under the car.

“By the time I had fully completed these arrangements and filled the chamber as explained, it wanted only ten minutes of nine o’clock. During the whole period of my being thus employed, I endured the most terrible distress from difficulty of respiration, and bitterly did I repent the negligence or rather fool-hardiness, of which I had been guilty, of putting off to the last moment a matter of so much importance. But having at length accomplished it, I soon began to reap the benefit of my invention. Once again I breathed with perfect freedom and ease—and indeed why should I not? I was also agreeably surprised to find myself, in a great measure, relieved from the violent pains which had hitherto tormented me. A slight headache, accompanied with a sensation of fulness or distention about the wrists, the ankles, and the throat, was nearly all of which I had now to complain. Thus it seemed evident that a greater part of the uneasiness attending the removal of atmospheric pressure had actually worn off, as I had expected, and that much of the pain endured for the last two hours should have been attributed altogether to the effects of a deficient respiration.

By the time I finished these arrangements and set up the room as explained, it was just ten minutes to nine o’clock. Throughout this time, I suffered from terrible trouble breathing, and I deeply regretted the negligence—or rather, the recklessness—of putting off something so important until the last minute. But once I finally completed everything, I quickly started to enjoy the benefits of my effort. I could breathe freely and easily again—why wouldn’t I? I was also pleasantly surprised to find that most of the intense pain that had been torturing me was mostly gone. I only had a slight headache and a feeling of fullness or tightness in my wrists, ankles, and throat—it was almost all I had to complain about now. It was clear that a lot of the discomfort from the change in atmospheric pressure had actually faded away, as I expected, and much of the pain I felt over the last two hours was likely due to not being able to breathe properly.

“At twenty minutes before nine o’clock—that is to say, a short time prior to my closing up the mouth of the chamber, the mercury attained its limit, or ran down, in the barometer, which, as I mentioned before, was one of an extended construction. It then indicated an altitude on my part of 132,000 feet, or five-and-twenty miles, and I consequently surveyed at that time an extent of the earth’s area amounting to no less than the three hundred-and-twentieth part of its entire superficies. At nine o’clock I had again lost sight of land to the eastward, but not before I became aware that the balloon was drifting rapidly to the N. N. W. The convexity of the ocean beneath me was very evident indeed, although my view was often interrupted by the masses of cloud which floated to and fro. I observed now that even the lightest vapors never rose to more than ten miles above the level of the sea.

At twenty minutes to nine—that is, shortly before I closed up the chamber, the mercury hit its limit and dropped in the barometer, which, as I mentioned earlier, was one of an extended design. It then showed that I was at an altitude of 132,000 feet, or twenty-five miles, and at that moment, I was looking at an area of the earth that was about one three-hundred-twentieth of its entire surface. By nine o’clock, I had lost sight of land to the east, but not before I noticed that the balloon was drifting quickly to the N. N. W. The curve of the ocean below me was very clear, although my view was often blocked by clouds floating by. I now observed that even the lightest vapors never rose more than ten miles above sea level.

“At half past nine I tried the experiment of throwing out a handful of feathers through the valve. They did not float as I had expected; but dropped down perpendicularly, like a bullet, en masse, and with the greatest velocity—being out of sight in a very few seconds. I did not at first know what to make of this extraordinary phenomenon; not being able to believe that my rate of ascent had, of a sudden, met with so prodigious an acceleration. But it soon occurred to me that the atmosphere was now far too rare to sustain even the feathers; that they actually fell, as they appeared to do, with great rapidity; and that I had been surprised by the united velocities of their descent and my own elevation.

“At 9:30, I tried the experiment of tossing out a handful of feathers through the valve. They didn’t float like I expected; instead, they dropped straight down, like a bullet, all at once, and with incredible speed—vanishing from sight in just a few seconds. At first, I didn’t know what to make of this strange phenomenon; I couldn’t believe that my ascent rate had suddenly sped up so dramatically. But it soon hit me that the atmosphere was now way too thin to support even the feathers; they really did fall, just as they seemed to, with great speed; and I had been caught off guard by the combined speeds of their drop and my rise.

“By ten o’clock I found that I had very little to occupy my immediate attention. Affairs went swimmingly, and I believed the balloon to be going upward with a speed increasing momently although I had no longer any means of ascertaining the progression of the increase. I suffered no pain or uneasiness of any kind, and enjoyed better spirits than I had at any period since my departure from Rotterdam, busying myself now in examining the state of my various apparatus, and now in regenerating the atmosphere within the chamber. This latter point I determined to attend to at regular intervals of forty minutes, more on account of the preservation of my health, than from so frequent a renovation being absolutely necessary. In the meanwhile I could not help making anticipations. Fancy revelled in the wild and dreamy regions of the moon. Imagination, feeling herself for once unshackled, roamed at will among the ever-changing wonders of a shadowy and unstable land. Now there were hoary and time-honored forests, and craggy precipices, and waterfalls tumbling with a loud noise into abysses without a bottom. Then I came suddenly into still noonday solitudes, where no wind of heaven ever intruded, and where vast meadows of poppies, and slender, lily-looking flowers spread themselves out a weary distance, all silent and motionless forever. Then again I journeyed far down away into another country where it was all one dim and vague lake, with a boundary line of clouds. And out of this melancholy water arose a forest of tall eastern trees, like a wilderness of dreams. And I have in mind that the shadows of the trees which fell upon the lake remained not on the surface where they fell, but sunk slowly and steadily down, and commingled with the waves, while from the trunks of the trees other shadows were continually coming out, and taking the place of their brothers thus entombed. “This then,” I said thoughtfully, “is the very reason why the waters of this lake grow blacker with age, and more melancholy as the hours run on.” But fancies such as these were not the sole possessors of my brain. Horrors of a nature most stern and most appalling would too frequently obtrude themselves upon my mind, and shake the innermost depths of my soul with the bare supposition of their possibility. Yet I would not suffer my thoughts for any length of time to dwell upon these latter speculations, rightly judging the real and palpable dangers of the voyage sufficient for my undivided attention.

By ten o’clock, I realized I had very little to focus on. Everything was going smoothly, and I felt like the balloon was rising faster and faster, even though I no longer had a way to confirm it. I felt no pain or discomfort and was in better spirits than I had been since leaving Rotterdam. I kept myself busy checking my various equipment and refreshing the air inside the chamber. I decided to do the latter every forty minutes, mainly for my health, rather than because it was absolutely necessary. Meanwhile, I couldn’t help but daydream. My imagination wandered freely through the wild and dreamy landscapes of the moon. For once unrestrained, it roamed among the constantly changing wonders of a shadowy and unstable place. There were ancient, gray forests, jagged cliffs, and waterfalls crashing loudly into bottomless chasms. Then I suddenly found myself in quiet midday solitude, where no breath of wind ever disturbed, and vast fields of poppies and slender, lily-like flowers stretched endlessly, silent and motionless forever. Then I traveled far into another realm where everything was a dim, vague lake bordered by clouds. From this sad water arose a forest of tall eastern trees, like a dreamlike wilderness. I imagined the shadows of these trees falling onto the lake didn’t stay on the surface but slowly sank down, blending with the waves, while from the tree trunks new shadows kept emerging to replace their fallen counterparts. “This,” I thought, “is why the waters of this lake grow darker with age and more sorrowful as time passes.” But thoughts like these weren’t the only ones occupying my mind. Terrifying visions would frequently intrude, haunting and unsettling me with the mere possibility of their existence. However, I refused to let those darker thoughts linger for too long, knowing that the real dangers of the journey deserved my full attention.

“At five o’clock, p.m., being engaged in regenerating the atmosphere within the chamber, I took that opportunity of observing the cat and kittens through the valve. The cat herself appeared to suffer again very much, and I had no hesitation in attributing her uneasiness chiefly to a difficulty in breathing; but my experiment with the kittens had resulted very strangely. I had expected, of course, to see them betray a sense of pain, although in a less degree than their mother, and this would have been sufficient to confirm my opinion concerning the habitual endurance of atmospheric pressure. But I was not prepared to find them, upon close examination, evidently enjoying a high degree of health, breathing with the greatest ease and perfect regularity, and evincing not the slightest sign of any uneasiness whatever. I could only account for all this by extending my theory, and supposing that the highly rarefied atmosphere around might perhaps not be, as I had taken for granted, chemically insufficient for the purposes of life, and that a person born in such a medium might, possibly, be unaware of any inconvenience attending its inhalation, while, upon removal to the denser strata near the earth, he might endure tortures of a similar nature to those I had so lately experienced. It has since been to me a matter of deep regret that an awkward accident, at this time, occasioned me the loss of my little family of cats, and deprived me of the insight into this matter which a continued experiment might have afforded. In passing my hand through the valve, with a cup of water for the old puss, the sleeves of my shirt became entangled in the loop which sustained the basket, and thus, in a moment, loosened it from the bottom. Had the whole actually vanished into air, it could not have shot from my sight in a more abrupt and instantaneous manner. Positively, there could not have intervened the tenth part of a second between the disengagement of the basket and its absolute and total disappearance with all that it contained. My good wishes followed it to the earth, but of course, I had no hope that either cat or kittens would ever live to tell the tale of their misfortune.

“At five o’clock in the afternoon, while trying to refresh the air in the chamber, I took the chance to watch the cat and her kittens through the valve. The cat herself seemed to be suffering greatly again, and I had no doubt that her discomfort was mainly due to trouble breathing; however, my experiment with the kittens turned out to be quite strange. I had naturally expected to see them show some signs of pain, though less than their mother, which would have confirmed my belief about the usual endurance of atmospheric pressure. But I was not ready to find that, upon closer inspection, they were clearly enjoying excellent health, breathing easily and regularly, and showing no signs of discomfort whatsoever. The only way I could explain this was by expanding my theory, suggesting that the very thin atmosphere around them might not, as I had assumed, be chemically inadequate for life, and that a creature born in such an environment might not realize any discomfort from breathing it, while moving to denser air near the earth could subject them to agonies similar to what I had just experienced. It has been a source of deep regret for me that an unfortunate accident at that time caused me to lose my little family of cats, robbing me of the insight into this matter that ongoing experimentation might have provided. While reaching through the valve with a cup of water for the old cat, the sleeves of my shirt got caught in the loop that held the basket, and in an instant, it came loose from the bottom. Had the whole thing vanished into thin air, it couldn't have disappeared from view more abruptly and suddenly. There couldn't have been even a tenth of a second between the basket coming loose and its complete and total disappearance along with everything it held. I wished it well on its journey to earth, but of course, I had no hope that either the cat or the kittens would ever live to tell the story of their misfortune.”

“At six o’clock, I perceived a great portion of the earth’s visible area to the eastward involved in thick shadow, which continued to advance with great rapidity, until, at five minutes before seven, the whole surface in view was enveloped in the darkness of night. It was not, however, until long after this time that the rays of the setting sun ceased to illumine the balloon; and this circumstance, although of course fully anticipated, did not fail to give me an infinite deal of pleasure. It was evident that, in the morning, I should behold the rising luminary many hours at least before the citizens of Rotterdam, in spite of their situation so much farther to the eastward, and thus, day after day, in proportion to the height ascended, would I enjoy the light of the sun for a longer and a longer period. I now determined to keep a journal of my passage, reckoning the days from one to twenty-four hours continuously, without taking into consideration the intervals of darkness.

“At six o’clock, I noticed that a large part of the visible land to the east was covered in thick shadow, which quickly moved forward until, five minutes before seven, the entire area I could see was wrapped in the darkness of night. However, it wasn't until much later that the last rays of the setting sun stopped illuminating the balloon, and although I had expected this, it still brought me immense pleasure. It was clear that in the morning, I would see the rising sun many hours before the people of Rotterdam, despite their location being much farther east, and this would mean that day after day, depending on how high I ascended, I would enjoy the sun’s light for longer and longer periods. I decided to keep a journal of my journey, counting the days continuously from one to twenty-four hours, without considering the times of darkness."

“At ten o’clock, feeling sleepy, I determined to lie down for the rest of the night; but here a difficulty presented itself, which, obvious as it may appear, had escaped my attention up to the very moment of which I am now speaking. If I went to sleep as I proposed, how could the atmosphere in the chamber be regenerated in the interim? To breathe it for more than an hour, at the farthest, would be a matter of impossibility, or, if even this term could be extended to an hour and a quarter, the most ruinous consequences might ensue. The consideration of this dilemma gave me no little disquietude; and it will hardly be believed, that, after the dangers I had undergone, I should look upon this business in so serious a light, as to give up all hope of accomplishing my ultimate design, and finally make up my mind to the necessity of a descent. But this hesitation was only momentary. I reflected that man is the veriest slave of custom, and that many points in the routine of his existence are deemed essentially important, which are only so at all by his having rendered them habitual. It was very certain that I could not do without sleep; but I might easily bring myself to feel no inconvenience from being awakened at intervals of an hour during the whole period of my repose. It would require but five minutes at most to regenerate the atmosphere in the fullest manner, and the only real difficulty was to contrive a method of arousing myself at the proper moment for so doing. But this was a question which, I am willing to confess, occasioned me no little trouble in its solution. To be sure, I had heard of the student who, to prevent his falling asleep over his books, held in one hand a ball of copper, the din of whose descent into a basin of the same metal on the floor beside his chair, served effectually to startle him up, if, at any moment, he should be overcome with drowsiness. My own case, however, was very different indeed, and left me no room for any similar idea; for I did not wish to keep awake, but to be aroused from slumber at regular intervals of time. I at length hit upon the following expedient, which, simple as it may seem, was hailed by me, at the moment of discovery, as an invention fully equal to that of the telescope, the steam-engine, or the art of printing itself.

At ten o’clock, feeling tired, I decided to lie down for the rest of the night; but then I faced a problem that, as obvious as it might seem, I hadn't thought about until that very moment. If I fell asleep as planned, how would the air in the room be refreshed in the meantime? Breathing it for more than an hour, at most, would be impossible, or maybe I could stretch it to an hour and fifteen minutes, but the consequences could be dire. This dilemma made me quite anxious, and it's hard to believe that after the dangers I had faced, I would take this issue so seriously that I would give up on my ultimate goal and finally accept that I needed to come down. But this hesitation was only brief. I realized that humans are slaves to routine, and many aspects of their daily lives are considered really important simply because they’ve become habitual. It was clear I couldn’t go without sleep; however, I could easily train myself to not mind being woken up at intervals throughout my rest. It would only take five minutes at most to refresh the air completely, and the real challenge was figuring out a way to wake myself up at the right time to do it. This was a problem that, I admit, caused me quite a bit of trouble to solve. For sure, I’d heard about a student who, to keep from dozing off over his books, held a ball of copper in one hand, the noise of it falling into a metal basin on the floor next to his chair effectively jolted him awake if he ever drifted off. My situation, however, was quite different and didn’t allow for a similar solution; I didn’t want to stay awake, I just needed to be woken up at regular intervals. Eventually, I came up with a solution that, simple as it may seem, felt to me, at the moment of discovery, as groundbreaking as the telescope, the steam engine, or the invention of printing itself.

“It is necessary to premise, that the balloon, at the elevation now attained, continued its course upward with an even and undeviating ascent, and the car consequently followed with a steadiness so perfect that it would have been impossible to detect in it the slightest vacillation whatever. This circumstance favored me greatly in the project I now determined to adopt. My supply of water had been put on board in kegs containing five gallons each, and ranged very securely around the interior of the car. I unfastened one of these, and taking two ropes tied them tightly across the rim of the wicker-work from one side to the other; placing them about a foot apart and parallel so as to form a kind of shelf, upon which I placed the keg, and steadied it in a horizontal position. About eight inches immediately below these ropes, and four feet from the bottom of the car I fastened another shelf—but made of thin plank, being the only similar piece of wood I had. Upon this latter shelf, and exactly beneath one of the rims of the keg, a small earthern pitcher was deposited. I now bored a hole in the end of the keg over the pitcher, and fitted in a plug of soft wood, cut in a tapering or conical shape. This plug I pushed in or pulled out, as might happen, until, after a few experiments, it arrived at that exact degree of tightness, at which the water, oozing from the hole, and falling into the pitcher below, would fill the latter to the brim in the period of sixty minutes. This, of course, was a matter briefly and easily ascertained, by noticing the proportion of the pitcher filled in any given time. Having arranged all this, the rest of the plan is obvious. My bed was so contrived upon the floor of the car, as to bring my head, in lying down, immediately below the mouth of the pitcher. It was evident, that, at the expiration of an hour, the pitcher, getting full, would be forced to run over, and to run over at the mouth, which was somewhat lower than the rim. It was also evident, that the water thus falling from a height of more than four feet, could not do otherwise than fall upon my face, and that the sure consequences would be, to waken me up instantaneously, even from the soundest slumber in the world.

“It’s important to note that the balloon, at the altitude it had now reached, continued its ascent smoothly and steadily, and the car therefore followed with such perfect stability that it would have been impossible to detect even the slightest wobble. This situation was a huge advantage for the plan I was about to implement. My water supply had been loaded in kegs, each containing five gallons, and was securely arranged around the interior of the car. I unfastened one of these kegs and tied two ropes tightly across the rim of the wicker structure from one side to the other, about a foot apart and parallel, forming a sort of shelf where I placed the keg and secured it in a horizontal position. About eight inches below these ropes, and four feet from the bottom of the car, I attached another shelf made of a thin plank, being the only similar piece of wood I had. On this lower shelf, directly beneath one of the keg’s rims, I set a small earthen pitcher. I then bored a hole in the end of the keg above the pitcher and fitted in a softwood plug, shaped tapered or conical. I adjusted this plug in and out until, after a few tests, it reached just the right tightness so that water would seep from the hole and fill the pitcher below to the brim in sixty minutes. This was easily determined by observing how much of the pitcher filled up over time. With everything arranged, the next part of the plan was clear. My bed was set up on the floor of the car to position my head directly under the mouth of the pitcher when I lay down. It was obvious that after an hour, as the pitcher filled, it would inevitably overflow from the mouth, which was slightly lower than the rim. It was also clear that the water, falling from a height of more than four feet, would surely splash onto my face, and the inevitable result would be that I would wake up instantly, even from the deepest sleep.”

“It was fully eleven by the time I had completed these arrangements, and I immediately betook myself to bed, with full confidence in the efficiency of my invention. Nor in this matter was I disappointed. Punctually every sixty minutes was I aroused by my trusty chronometer, when, having emptied the pitcher into the bung-hole of the keg, and performed the duties of the condenser, I retired again to bed. These regular interruptions to my slumber caused me even less discomfort than I had anticipated; and when I finally arose for the day, it was seven o’clock, and the sun had attained many degrees above the line of my horizon.

It was exactly eleven by the time I finished these arrangements, and I went straight to bed, fully confident in the effectiveness of my invention. I wasn't let down in this regard. Every hour on the dot, my reliable clock woke me up, and after pouring the pitcher into the keg and handling the condensation duties, I went back to bed. These routine disruptions to my sleep bothered me even less than I expected; by the time I finally got up for the day, it was seven o’clock, and the sun was well above my horizon.

“April 3d. I found the balloon at an immense height indeed, and the earth’s apparent convexity increased in a material degree. Below me in the ocean lay a cluster of black specks, which undoubtedly were islands. Far away to the northward I perceived a thin, white, and exceedingly brilliant line, or streak, on the edge of the horizon, and I had no hesitation in supposing it to be the southern disk of the ices of the Polar Sea. My curiosity was greatly excited, for I had hopes of passing on much farther to the north, and might possibly, at some period, find myself placed directly above the Pole itself. I now lamented that my great elevation would, in this case, prevent my taking as accurate a survey as I could wish. Much, however, might be ascertained. Nothing else of an extraordinary nature occurred during the day. My apparatus all continued in good order, and the balloon still ascended without any perceptible vacillation. The cold was intense, and obliged me to wrap up closely in an overcoat. When darkness came over the earth, I betook myself to bed, although it was for many hours afterward broad daylight all around my immediate situation. The water-clock was punctual in its duty, and I slept until next morning soundly, with the exception of the periodical interruption.

“April 3rd. I found the balloon at an incredible height, and the earth’s visible curve was significantly more pronounced. Below me in the ocean were clusters of black dots that were definitely islands. Far to the north, I noticed a thin, bright white line on the edge of the horizon, and I didn't hesitate to think it was the southern edge of the polar ice. My curiosity was really sparked because I hoped to travel much farther north and might even find myself directly over the Pole at some point. I regretted that my high altitude would make it harder to take the accurate survey I wanted. However, a lot could still be observed. Nothing else remarkable happened during the day. My equipment was all functioning well, and the balloon kept rising steadily without any noticeable swaying. It was extremely cold, so I had to bundle up tightly in an overcoat. When darkness fell, I went to bed, even though it was still bright daylight all around me for many hours afterward. The water-clock was reliable, and I slept soundly until the next morning, except for occasional interruptions.”

“April 4th. Arose in good health and spirits, and was astonished at the singular change which had taken place in the appearance of the sea. It had lost, in a great measure, the deep tint of blue it had hitherto worn, being now of a grayish-white, and of a lustre dazzling to the eye. The islands were no longer visible; whether they had passed down the horizon to the southeast, or whether my increasing elevation had left them out of sight, it is impossible to say. I was inclined, however, to the latter opinion. The rim of ice to the northward was growing more and more apparent. Cold by no means so intense. Nothing of importance occurred, and I passed the day in reading, having taken care to supply myself with books.

“April 4th. I woke up feeling great and was surprised by the unusual change in the look of the sea. It had mostly lost the deep blue color it used to have and was now a dazzling grayish-white. The islands were no longer visible; I couldn't tell if they had gone down below the horizon to the southeast or if my rising elevation had just made them disappear from view. I leaned towards the second idea. The ice rim to the north was becoming more visible. The cold wasn’t as intense as before. Nothing significant happened, and I spent the day reading, having made sure to bring some books with me.”

“April 5th. Beheld the singular phenomenon of the sun rising while nearly the whole visible surface of the earth continued to be involved in darkness. In time, however, the light spread itself over all, and I again saw the line of ice to the northward. It was now very distinct, and appeared of a much darker hue than the waters of the ocean. I was evidently approaching it, and with great rapidity. Fancied I could again distinguish a strip of land to the eastward, and one also to the westward, but could not be certain. Weather moderate. Nothing of any consequence happened during the day. Went early to bed.

“April 5th. I witnessed the unique phenomenon of the sun rising while almost the entire visible surface of the earth remained shrouded in darkness. Eventually, though, the light spread everywhere, and I could see the line of ice to the north. It was now very clear and looked much darker than the ocean waters. I was clearly getting closer to it, and quickly. I thought I could make out a strip of land to the east and another to the west, but I wasn’t sure. The weather was mild. Nothing significant happened throughout the day. I went to bed early.”

“April 6th. Was surprised at finding the rim of ice at a very moderate distance, and an immense field of the same material stretching away off to the horizon in the north. It was evident that if the balloon held its present course, it would soon arrive above the Frozen Ocean, and I had now little doubt of ultimately seeing the Pole. During the whole of the day I continued to near the ice. Toward night the limits of my horizon very suddenly and materially increased, owing undoubtedly to the earth’s form being that of an oblate spheroid, and my arriving above the flattened regions in the vicinity of the Arctic circle. When darkness at length overtook me, I went to bed in great anxiety, fearing to pass over the object of so much curiosity when I should have no opportunity of observing it.

“April 6th. I was surprised to find the ice edge not too far away, and a huge expanse of the same material extending all the way to the horizon in the north. It was clear that if the balloon kept its current course, it would soon be flying over the Frozen Ocean, and I was now pretty sure I would eventually see the Pole. Throughout the day, I continued to approach the ice. By evening, my horizon suddenly and significantly expanded, likely due to the Earth's shape being that of an oblate spheroid, as I flew over the flattened areas near the Arctic Circle. When darkness finally caught up with me, I went to bed feeling very anxious, worried that I might pass over something so intriguing without having a chance to see it.”

“April 7th. Arose early, and, to my great joy, at length beheld what there could be no hesitation in supposing the northern Pole itself. It was there, beyond a doubt, and immediately beneath my feet; but, alas! I had now ascended to so vast a distance, that nothing could with accuracy be discerned. Indeed, to judge from the progression of the numbers indicating my various altitudes, respectively, at different periods, between six A.M. on the second of April, and twenty minutes before nine A.M. of the same day (at which time the barometer ran down), it might be fairly inferred that the balloon had now, at four o’clock in the morning of April the seventh, reached a height of not less, certainly, than 7,254 miles above the surface of the sea. This elevation may appear immense, but the estimate upon which it is calculated gave a result in all probability far inferior to the truth. At all events I undoubtedly beheld the whole of the earth’s major diameter; the entire northern hemisphere lay beneath me like a chart orthographically projected: and the great circle of the equator itself formed the boundary line of my horizon. Your Excellencies may, however, readily imagine that the confined regions hitherto unexplored within the limits of the Arctic circle, although situated directly beneath me, and therefore seen without any appearance of being foreshortened, were still, in themselves, comparatively too diminutive, and at too great a distance from the point of sight, to admit of any very accurate examination. Nevertheless, what could be seen was of a nature singular and exciting. Northwardly from that huge rim before mentioned, and which, with slight qualification, may be called the limit of human discovery in these regions, one unbroken, or nearly unbroken, sheet of ice continues to extend. In the first few degrees of this its progress, its surface is very sensibly flattened, farther on depressed into a plane, and finally, becoming not a little concave, it terminates, at the Pole itself, in a circular centre, sharply defined, whose apparent diameter subtended at the balloon an angle of about sixty-five seconds, and whose dusky hue, varying in intensity, was, at all times, darker than any other spot upon the visible hemisphere, and occasionally deepened into the most absolute and impenetrable blackness. Farther than this, little could be ascertained. By twelve o’clock the circular centre had materially decreased in circumference, and by seven P.M. I lost sight of it entirely; the balloon passing over the western limb of the ice, and floating away rapidly in the direction of the equator.

April 7th. I woke up early and, to my great joy, finally saw what could only be the North Pole itself. It was definitely there, right beneath my feet; but, unfortunately, I had climbed to such a height that nothing could be clearly seen. In fact, judging from the numbers indicating my different altitudes recorded at various times between 6 A.M. on April 2nd and twenty minutes before 9 A.M. on the same day (which was when the barometer dropped), it could be inferred that the balloon had now, at 4 o’clock in the morning of April 7th, reached an altitude of no less than 7,254 miles above sea level. This height might seem astronomical, but the estimate used to calculate it likely fell far short of the actual elevation. Regardless, I undoubtedly saw the entire span of the Earth’s major diameter; the whole northern hemisphere lay below me like a map laid out flat, and the great circle of the equator marked the edge of my horizon. You can imagine that the uncharted areas within the Arctic Circle, although directly beneath me and clearly visible without any distortion, were still relatively small and too far away to be examined in detail. Still, what I could see was unique and thrilling. Northward from that vast edge, which may be roughly described as the boundary of human exploration in these regions, an uninterrupted, or nearly uninterrupted, sheet of ice stretched out. In the initial few degrees of this expanse, its surface was noticeably flat, then further along it became even flatter, and finally, as it curved, it ended at the Pole itself in a sharply defined circular center, whose apparent diameter created an angle of about sixty-five seconds when viewed from the balloon, and whose dark hue, varying in intensity, was always darker than any other spot on the visible horizon, occasionally deepening into total, impenetrable blackness. Beyond this, not much else could be determined. By noon, the circular center had significantly reduced in size, and by 7 P.M. I completely lost sight of it; the balloon floated over the western edge of the ice and quickly drifted south toward the equator.

“April 8th. Found a sensible diminution in the earth’s apparent diameter, besides a material alteration in its general color and appearance. The whole visible area partook in different degrees of a tint of pale yellow, and in some portions had acquired a brilliancy even painful to the eye. My view downward was also considerably impeded by the dense atmosphere in the vicinity of the surface being loaded with clouds, between whose masses I could only now and then obtain a glimpse of the earth itself. This difficulty of direct vision had troubled me more or less for the last forty-eight hours; but my present enormous elevation brought closer together, as it were, the floating bodies of vapor, and the inconvenience became, of course, more and more palpable in proportion to my ascent. Nevertheless, I could easily perceive that the balloon now hovered above the range of great lakes in the continent of North America, and was holding a course, due south, which would bring me to the tropics. This circumstance did not fail to give me the most heartful satisfaction, and I hailed it as a happy omen of ultimate success. Indeed, the direction I had hitherto taken, had filled me with uneasiness; for it was evident that, had I continued it much longer, there would have been no possibility of my arriving at the moon at all, whose orbit is inclined to the ecliptic at only the small angle of 5° 8′ 48″.

“April 8th. I noticed a clear reduction in the earth’s visible size, along with a significant change in its overall color and look. The entire visible area had taken on varying shades of pale yellow, and in some spots, it had become so bright it was almost blinding. My view downward was also heavily obstructed by the thick atmosphere near the surface, which was filled with clouds, allowing me to only catch occasional glimpses of the earth itself. This challenge of seeing clearly had troubled me to some extent for the last forty-eight hours, but my current high altitude seemed to bring those floating clouds closer together, making the situation even more inconvenient as I rose higher. Still, I could easily see that the balloon was now above the great lakes in North America and was heading due south, which would take me toward the tropics. This made me feel incredibly satisfied and I saw it as a good sign for my ultimate success. In fact, the direction I had been taking before was concerning, as it was clear that if I had continued much longer, I would have had no chance of reaching the moon at all, which orbits the ecliptic at a very small angle of just 5° 8′ 48″.

“April 9th. To-day the earth’s diameter was greatly diminished, and the color of the surface assumed hourly a deeper tint of yellow. The balloon kept steadily on her course to the southward, and arrived, at nine P.M., over the northern edge of the Mexican Gulf.

“April 9th. Today, the earth’s diameter was significantly reduced, and the surface color took on a deeper shade of yellow every hour. The balloon continued its steady course southward and arrived at 9 PM over the northern edge of the Gulf of Mexico.”

“April 10th. I was suddenly aroused from slumber, about five o’clock this morning, by a loud, crackling, and terrific sound, for which I could in no manner account. It was of very brief duration, but, while it lasted resembled nothing in the world of which I had any previous experience. It is needless to say that I became excessively alarmed, having, in the first instance, attributed the noise to the bursting of the balloon. I examined all my apparatus, however, with great attention, and could discover nothing out of order. Spent a great part of the day in meditating upon an occurrence so extraordinary, but could find no means whatever of accounting for it. Went to bed dissatisfied, and in a state of great anxiety and agitation.

“April 10th. I was suddenly jolted awake around five o’clock this morning by a loud, crackling, terrifying sound that I couldn’t explain. It was very brief, but while it lasted, it was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. Needless to say, I became extremely alarmed, initially thinking the noise might be from the balloon bursting. However, I carefully checked all my equipment and found nothing out of order. I spent a large part of the day pondering such an extraordinary event, but could find no way to make sense of it. I went to bed feeling unsatisfied and very anxious.”

“April 11th. Found a startling diminution in the apparent diameter of the earth, and a considerable increase, now observable for the first time, in that of the moon itself, which wanted only a few days of being full. It now required long and excessive labor to condense within the chamber sufficient atmospheric air for the sustenance of life.

“April 11th. Noticed a surprising decrease in the visible size of the earth, and a significant increase, now noticeable for the first time, in the size of the moon itself, which was just a few days away from being full. It now took a lot of hard work to gather enough air in the chamber to support life.

“April 12th. A singular alteration took place in regard to the direction of the balloon, and although fully anticipated, afforded me the most unequivocal delight. Having reached, in its former course, about the twentieth parallel of southern latitude, it turned off suddenly, at an acute angle, to the eastward, and thus proceeded throughout the day, keeping nearly, if not altogether, in the exact plane of the lunar ellipse. What was worthy of remark, a very perceptible vacillation in the car was a consequence of this change of route—a vacillation which prevailed, in a more or less degree, for a period of many hours.

“April 12th. A unique change occurred regarding the balloon's direction, and although I completely expected it, it brought me immense joy. After traveling along its previous path to about the twentieth parallel of southern latitude, it suddenly veered off at a sharp angle to the east and continued that way throughout the day, closely following the exact path of the lunar ellipse. Notably, this change in course caused a noticeable instability in the car, which persisted, to varying degrees, for several hours."

“April 13th. Was again very much alarmed by a repetition of the loud, crackling noise which terrified me on the tenth. Thought long upon the subject, but was unable to form any satisfactory conclusion. Great decrease in the earth’s apparent diameter, which now subtended from the balloon an angle of very little more than twenty-five degrees. The moon could not be seen at all, being nearly in my zenith. I still continued in the plane of the ellipse, but made little progress to the eastward.

“April 13th. I was once again very alarmed by the loud, crackling noise that frightened me on the tenth. I thought about it for a long time but couldn't come to any satisfying conclusion. There was a significant decrease in the earth's visible diameter, which now appeared from the balloon at an angle of just a little over twenty-five degrees. The moon was completely out of sight, almost directly overhead. I continued along the path of the ellipse but made little progress to the east.”

“April 14th. Extremely rapid decrease in the diameter of the earth. To-day I became strongly impressed with the idea, that the balloon was now actually running up the line of apsides to the point of perigee—in other words, holding the direct course which would bring it immediately to the moon in that part of its orbit the nearest to the earth. The moon itself was directly overhead, and consequently hidden from my view. Great and long-continued labor necessary for the condensation of the atmosphere.

“April 14th. There’s been an incredibly fast drop in the Earth's diameter. Today, I really felt that the balloon was actually moving up the line of apsides towards perigee—in other words, taking the direct path that would lead it straight to the moon at the point in its orbit that’s closest to Earth. The moon was directly above me, so I couldn’t see it. A lot of hard work is needed to compress the atmosphere.”

“April 15th. Not even the outlines of continents and seas could now be traced upon the earth with anything approaching distinctness. About twelve o’clock I became aware, for the third time, of that appalling sound which had so astonished me before. It now, however, continued for some moments, and gathered intensity as it continued. At length, while, stupefied and terror-stricken, I stood in expectation of I knew not what hideous destruction, the car vibrated with excessive violence, and a gigantic and flaming mass of some material which I could not distinguish, came with a voice of a thousand thunders, roaring and booming by the balloon. When my fears and astonishment had in some degree subsided, I had little difficulty in supposing it to be some mighty volcanic fragment ejected from that world to which I was so rapidly approaching, and, in all probability, one of that singular class of substances occasionally picked up on the earth, and termed meteoric stones for want of a better appellation.

“April 15th. The outlines of continents and seas were barely visible on the earth now. Around noon, I became aware, for the third time, of that terrifying sound that had shocked me before. This time, though, it lasted for a few moments and grew louder as it continued. Eventually, as I stood there in shock and fear, not knowing what kind of awful destruction was coming, the balloon shook violently, and a huge, fiery mass of some material I couldn’t identify roared and boomed past me like a thousand thunderclaps. Once my fear and shock had somewhat calmed down, I easily concluded that it was likely a massive volcanic fragment ejected from the world I was quickly approaching and probably one of those strange substances known as meteoric stones, since there wasn’t a better name for them.”

“April 16th. To-day, looking upward as well as I could, through each of the side windows alternately, I beheld, to my great delight, a very small portion of the moon’s disk protruding, as it were, on all sides beyond the huge circumference of the balloon. My agitation was extreme; for I had now little doubt of soon reaching the end of my perilous voyage. Indeed, the labor now required by the condenser had increased to a most oppressive degree, and allowed me scarcely any respite from exertion. Sleep was a matter nearly out of the question. I became quite ill, and my frame trembled with exhaustion. It was impossible that human nature could endure this state of intense suffering much longer. During the now brief interval of darkness a meteoric stone again passed in my vicinity, and the frequency of these phenomena began to occasion me much apprehension.

“April 16th. Today, as I looked up as best as I could through each of the side windows alternately, I was thrilled to see a tiny part of the moon’s disk sticking out all around the massive circumference of the balloon. I was extremely agitated because I was now quite sure I would soon reach the end of my dangerous journey. In fact, the work required by the condenser had become overwhelming, leaving me barely any time to rest. Sleeping was almost impossible. I started to feel really sick, and my body shook from exhaustion. It was hard to believe that any human could withstand such intense suffering for much longer. During the now brief moments of darkness, a meteoric stone passed by me again, and the increasing number of these occurrences began to make me quite anxious."

“April 17th. This morning proved an epoch in my voyage. It will be remembered that, on the thirteenth, the earth subtended an angular breadth of twenty-five degrees. On the fourteenth this had greatly diminished; on the fifteenth a still more remarkable decrease was observable; and, on retiring on the night of the sixteenth, I had noticed an angle of no more than about seven degrees and fifteen minutes. What, therefore, must have been my amazement, on awakening from a brief and disturbed slumber, on the morning of this day, the seventeenth, at finding the surface beneath me so suddenly and wonderfully augmented in volume, as to subtend no less than thirty-nine degrees in apparent angular diameter! I was thunderstruck! No words can give any adequate idea of the extreme, the absolute horror and astonishment, with which I was seized possessed, and altogether overwhelmed. My knees tottered beneath me—my teeth chattered—my hair started up on end. ‘The balloon, then, had actually burst!’ These were the first tumultuous ideas that hurried through my mind: ‘The balloon had positively burst!—I was falling—falling with the most impetuous, the most unparalleled velocity! To judge by the immense distance already so quickly passed over, it could not be more than ten minutes, at the farthest, before I should meet the surface of the earth, and be hurled into annihilation!’ But at length reflection came to my relief. I paused; I considered; and I began to doubt. The matter was impossible. I could not in any reason have so rapidly come down. Besides, although I was evidently approaching the surface below me, it was with a speed by no means commensurate with the velocity I had at first so horribly conceived. This consideration served to calm the perturbation of my mind, and I finally succeeded in regarding the phenomenon in its proper point of view. In fact, amazement must have fairly deprived me of my senses, when I could not see the vast difference, in appearance, between the surface below me, and the surface of my mother earth. The latter was indeed over my head, and completely hidden by the balloon, while the moon—the moon itself in all its glory—lay beneath me, and at my feet.

“April 17th. This morning marked a turning point in my journey. It will be remembered that, on the thirteenth, the earth appeared to take up an angle of twenty-five degrees. On the fourteenth, this had greatly decreased; on the fifteenth, there was an even more notable reduction; and, when I went to sleep on the night of the sixteenth, I noticed an angle of no more than about seven degrees and fifteen minutes. So, imagine my shock when I woke from a restless sleep this morning, the seventeenth, to find the surface beneath me suddenly and dramatically expanded in size, taking up an apparent angular diameter of no less than thirty-nine degrees! I was stunned! No words can capture the extreme, absolute horror and astonishment that overwhelmed me. My knees weakened—my teeth chattered—my hair stood on end. 'The balloon has actually burst!' Those were the first chaotic thoughts racing through my mind: 'The balloon has definitely burst!—I was falling—falling with an incredible, unparalleled speed! Judging by the enormous distance I had already covered in such a short time, it could be no more than ten minutes, at most, before I hit the ground and was thrown into oblivion!' But eventually, I was able to collect my thoughts. I paused, I thought, and I began to doubt. It was impossible. I couldn’t have dropped down so quickly. Also, even though I was clearly getting closer to the surface beneath me, it was with a speed that was nowhere near what I'd initially feared. This realization helped calm my racing mind, and I managed to see the situation more clearly. In fact, I must have been so astonished that I couldn’t recognize the obvious difference in appearance between the surface below me and that of my home planet. The latter was above me, completely blocked by the balloon, while the moon—the moon itself, in all its splendor—was below me, at my feet.”

“The stupor and surprise produced in my mind by this extraordinary change in the posture of affairs was perhaps, after all, that part of the adventure least susceptible of explanation. For the bouleversement in itself was not only natural and inevitable, but had been long actually anticipated as a circumstance to be expected whenever I should arrive at that exact point of my voyage where the attraction of the planet should be superseded by the attraction of the satellite—or, more precisely, where the gravitation of the balloon toward the earth should be less powerful than its gravitation toward the moon. To be sure I arose from a sound slumber, with all my senses in confusion, to the contemplation of a very startling phenomenon, and one which, although expected, was not expected at the moment. The revolution itself must, of course, have taken place in an easy and gradual manner, and it is by no means clear that, had I even been awake at the time of the occurrence, I should have been made aware of it by any internal evidence of an inversion—that is to say, by any inconvenience or disarrangement, either about my person or about my apparatus.

The shock and amazement I felt from this incredible change in the situation was probably the part of the adventure that was hardest to explain. The shift itself wasn’t just natural and unavoidable; it had actually been expected for a long time as something that would happen once I reached that specific point in my journey where the planet's pull would be overshadowed by the satellite's. More specifically, it was when the balloon’s pull toward the earth became weaker than its pull toward the moon. Of course, I woke up from a deep sleep, my senses all mixed up, confronted by a very surprising phenomenon that, although anticipated, caught me off guard at that moment. The shift must have happened smoothly and gradually, and it's not clear that even if I had been awake when it occurred, I would have noticed any sign of the inversion—meaning, any discomfort or disruption in my surroundings or my equipment.

“It is almost needless to say that, upon coming to a due sense of my situation, and emerging from the terror which had absorbed every faculty of my soul, my attention was, in the first place, wholly directed to the contemplation of the general physical appearance of the moon. It lay beneath me like a chart—and although I judged it to be still at no inconsiderable distance, the indentures of its surface were defined to my vision with a most striking and altogether unaccountable distinctness. The entire absence of ocean or sea, and indeed of any lake or river, or body of water whatsoever, struck me, at first glance, as the most extraordinary feature in its geological condition. Yet, strange to say, I beheld vast level regions of a character decidedly alluvial, although by far the greater portion of the hemisphere in sight was covered with innumerable volcanic mountains, conical in shape, and having more the appearance of artificial than of natural protuberance. The highest among them does not exceed three and three-quarter miles in perpendicular elevation; but a map of the volcanic districts of the Campi Phlegraei would afford to your Excellencies a better idea of their general surface than any unworthy description I might think proper to attempt. The greater part of them were in a state of evident eruption, and gave me fearfully to understand their fury and their power, by the repeated thunders of the miscalled meteoric stones, which now rushed upward by the balloon with a frequency more and more appalling.

“It’s almost unnecessary to say that, as I became aware of my situation and came out from the panic that had consumed me, my focus was completely drawn to the overall look of the moon. It stretched out beneath me like a map—and even though I thought it was still quite far away, the details of its surface were clear to me with a striking and completely inexplicable sharpness. The total lack of ocean or sea, and indeed any lake or river, or any body of water at all, seemed to me, at first glance, the most astonishing aspect of its geological state. Yet, strangely, I saw vast flat areas that were distinctly alluvial, although most of the visible hemisphere was dominated by countless volcanic mountains, conical in shape, and looking more artificial than natural. The tallest of them doesn’t rise more than three and three-quarter miles straight up; however, a map of the volcanic areas of the Campi Phlegraei would give you a much better idea of their overall layout than any inadequate description I could attempt. Most of them were clearly erupting, and they ominously conveyed their fury and power to me through the repeated roars of the so-called meteoric stones, which now surged upwards past the balloon with an increasingly terrifying frequency.”

“April 18th. To-day I found an enormous increase in the moon’s apparent bulk—and the evidently accelerated velocity of my descent began to fill me with alarm. It will be remembered, that, in the earliest stage of my speculations upon the possibility of a passage to the moon, the existence, in its vicinity, of an atmosphere, dense in proportion to the bulk of the planet, had entered largely into my calculations; this too in spite of many theories to the contrary, and, it may be added, in spite of a general disbelief in the existence of any lunar atmosphere at all. But, in addition to what I have already urged in regard to Encke’s comet and the zodiacal light, I had been strengthened in my opinion by certain observations of Mr. Schroeter, of Lilienthal. He observed the moon when two days and a half old, in the evening soon after sunset, before the dark part was visible, and continued to watch it until it became visible. The two cusps appeared tapering in a very sharp faint prolongation, each exhibiting its farthest extremity faintly illuminated by the solar rays, before any part of the dark hemisphere was visible. Soon afterward, the whole dark limb became illuminated. This prolongation of the cusps beyond the semicircle, I thought, must have arisen from the refraction of the sun’s rays by the moon’s atmosphere. I computed, also, the height of the atmosphere (which could refract light enough into its dark hemisphere to produce a twilight more luminous than the light reflected from the earth when the moon is about 32° from the new) to be 1,356 Paris feet; in this view, I supposed the greatest height capable of refracting the solar ray, to be 5,376 feet. My ideas on this topic had also received confirmation by a passage in the eighty-second volume of the Philosophical Transactions, in which it is stated that at an occultation of Jupiter’s satellites, the third disappeared after having been about 1″ or 2″ of time indistinct, and the fourth became indiscernible near the limb.(*4)

“April 18th. Today, I noticed a huge increase in the moon's apparent size, and the clearly faster speed of my descent started to worry me. It should be remembered that in the early stages of my thoughts regarding a trip to the moon, I had heavily factored in the presence of an atmosphere around it, dense enough relative to the planet's size, despite many theories suggesting the opposite and a general disbelief in any lunar atmosphere at all. However, in addition to what I've already stated about Encke’s comet and the zodiacal light, I was further convinced by some observations made by Mr. Schroeter from Lilienthal. He observed the moon when it was two and a half days old, in the evening just after sunset, before the dark portion was visible, and continued to watch until it became visible. The two points appeared sharp with a faint extension, each showing its farthest tip subtly lit by solar rays before any part of the dark hemisphere appeared. Shortly after, the entire dark edge became illuminated. I thought this extension of the points beyond the semicircle must have been caused by the refraction of the sun’s rays by the moon’s atmosphere. I also calculated the height of the atmosphere (which could refract enough light into its dark hemisphere to create twilight brighter than the light reflected from the Earth when the moon is about 32° from new) to be 1,356 Paris feet; I believed the greatest height capable of refracting sunlight to be 5,376 feet. My ideas on this subject were also supported by a passage in the eighty-second volume of the Philosophical Transactions, which states that during the occultation of Jupiter’s satellites, the third satellite became indistinct after being visible for about 1″ or 2″ of time, and the fourth satellite became unnoticeable near the limb.(*4)

“Upon the resistance or, more properly, upon the support of an atmosphere, existing in the state of density imagined, I had, of course, entirely depended for the safety of my ultimate descent. Should I then, after all, prove to have been mistaken, I had in consequence nothing better to expect, as a finale to my adventure, than being dashed into atoms against the rugged surface of the satellite. And, indeed, I had now every reason to be terrified. My distance from the moon was comparatively trifling, while the labor required by the condenser was diminished not at all, and I could discover no indication whatever of a decreasing rarity in the air.

“Based on the resistance, or more accurately, the support of an atmosphere that existed in the density I had imagined, I was completely relying on it for the safety of my final descent. If I ended up being wrong, the only outcome I could expect as the conclusion of my adventure was crashing into pieces against the rough surface of the moon. And honestly, I had every reason to be frightened. I was quite close to the moon, while the effort needed for the condenser remained unchanged, and I couldn't see any signs of the air becoming less thin.”

“April 19th. This morning, to my great joy, about nine o’clock, the surface of the moon being frightfully near, and my apprehensions excited to the utmost, the pump of my condenser at length gave evident tokens of an alteration in the atmosphere. By ten, I had reason to believe its density considerably increased. By eleven, very little labor was necessary at the apparatus; and at twelve o’clock, with some hesitation, I ventured to unscrew the tourniquet, when, finding no inconvenience from having done so, I finally threw open the gum-elastic chamber, and unrigged it from around the car. As might have been expected, spasms and violent headache were the immediate consequences of an experiment so precipitate and full of danger. But these and other difficulties attending respiration, as they were by no means so great as to put me in peril of my life, I determined to endure as I best could, in consideration of my leaving them behind me momently in my approach to the denser strata near the moon. This approach, however, was still impetuous in the extreme; and it soon became alarmingly certain that, although I had probably not been deceived in the expectation of an atmosphere dense in proportion to the mass of the satellite, still I had been wrong in supposing this density, even at the surface, at all adequate to the support of the great weight contained in the car of my balloon. Yet this should have been the case, and in an equal degree as at the surface of the earth, the actual gravity of bodies at either planet supposed in the ratio of the atmospheric condensation. That it was not the case, however, my precipitous downfall gave testimony enough; why it was not so, can only be explained by a reference to those possible geological disturbances to which I have formerly alluded. At all events I was now close upon the planet, and coming down with the most terrible impetuosity. I lost not a moment, accordingly, in throwing overboard first my ballast, then my water-kegs, then my condensing apparatus and gum-elastic chamber, and finally every article within the car. But it was all to no purpose. I still fell with horrible rapidity, and was now not more than half a mile from the surface. As a last resource, therefore, having got rid of my coat, hat, and boots, I cut loose from the balloon the car itself, which was of no inconsiderable weight, and thus, clinging with both hands to the net-work, I had barely time to observe that the whole country, as far as the eye could reach, was thickly interspersed with diminutive habitations, ere I tumbled headlong into the very heart of a fantastical-looking city, and into the middle of a vast crowd of ugly little people, who none of them uttered a single syllable, or gave themselves the least trouble to render me assistance, but stood, like a parcel of idiots, grinning in a ludicrous manner, and eyeing me and my balloon askant, with their arms set a-kimbo. I turned from them in contempt, and, gazing upward at the earth so lately left, and left perhaps for ever, beheld it like a huge, dull, copper shield, about two degrees in diameter, fixed immovably in the heavens overhead, and tipped on one of its edges with a crescent border of the most brilliant gold. No traces of land or water could be discovered, and the whole was clouded with variable spots, and belted with tropical and equatorial zones.

“April 19th. This morning, to my great joy, around nine o’clock, with the surface of the moon frighteningly close and my anxiety at its peak, the pump of my condenser finally showed clear signs of a change in the atmosphere. By ten, I had reason to believe its density had significantly increased. By eleven, I hardly needed to work on the apparatus; and at twelve o’clock, with some hesitation, I decided to unscrew the tourniquet. Finding no issues from doing so, I eventually opened the gum-elastic chamber and removed it from around the car. As expected, spasms and a severe headache were the immediate results of such a hasty and dangerous experiment. However, these and other breathing difficulties were not enough to put my life at risk, so I resolved to endure them as best I could, considering I was quickly leaving them behind as I approached the denser layers near the moon. This descent, however, was still remarkably rapid, and it soon became alarmingly clear that, although I likely wasn’t mistaken in expecting an atmosphere dense in relation to the moon's mass, I had erred in thinking that this density, even at the surface, was sufficient to support the great weight of the balloon's car. It should have been the case, and just as much as at Earth’s surface, where gravity should corresponded to atmospheric pressure. The fact that it wasn’t, my sudden fall testified enough; the reason for this can only be explained by referring to the geological disturbances I have mentioned before. In any case, I was now close to the planet and descending with terrifying speed. I wasted no time in throwing overboard my ballast, followed by my water kegs, my condensing apparatus, and gum-elastic chamber, and finally every item in the car. But it was all in vain. I continued to fall at an alarming speed, now less than half a mile from the surface. As a last resort, I removed my coat, hat, and boots, then cut the car itself loose from the balloon, which was quite heavy, and thus, clinging tightly to the net, I barely had time to notice that the landscape, as far as I could see, was dotted with tiny houses before I plunged headfirst into the center of a bizarre city, landing amidst a large crowd of strange little people, none of whom said a word or attempted to help me, but stood there like a bunch of fools, grinning absurdly and eyeing me and my balloon with their arms crossed. I turned away from them in disdain and, looking up at the Earth I had just left behind, possibly forever, I saw it like a massive, dull copper shield, about two degrees in diameter, fixed immovably in the sky above, and tipped on one edge with a crescent of the brightest gold. No signs of land or water could be seen, and the whole thing was obscured by shifting spots, surrounded by tropical and equatorial zones.”

“Thus, may it please your Excellencies, after a series of great anxieties, unheard of dangers, and unparalleled escapes, I had, at length, on the nineteenth day of my departure from Rotterdam, arrived in safety at the conclusion of a voyage undoubtedly the most extraordinary, and the most momentous, ever accomplished, undertaken, or conceived by any denizen of earth. But my adventures yet remain to be related. And indeed your Excellencies may well imagine that, after a residence of five years upon a planet not only deeply interesting in its own peculiar character, but rendered doubly so by its intimate connection, in capacity of satellite, with the world inhabited by man, I may have intelligence for the private ear of the States’ College of Astronomers of far more importance than the details, however wonderful, of the mere voyage which so happily concluded. This is, in fact, the case. I have much—very much which it would give me the greatest pleasure to communicate. I have much to say of the climate of the planet; of its wonderful alternations of heat and cold, of unmitigated and burning sunshine for one fortnight, and more than polar frigidity for the next; of a constant transfer of moisture, by distillation like that in vacuo, from the point beneath the sun to the point the farthest from it; of a variable zone of running water; of the people themselves; of their manners, customs, and political institutions; of their peculiar physical construction; of their ugliness; of their want of ears, those useless appendages in an atmosphere so peculiarly modified; of their consequent ignorance of the use and properties of speech; of their substitute for speech in a singular method of inter-communication; of the incomprehensible connection between each particular individual in the moon with some particular individual on the earth—a connection analogous with, and depending upon, that of the orbs of the planet and the satellites, and by means of which the lives and destinies of the inhabitants of the one are interwoven with the lives and destinies of the inhabitants of the other; and above all, if it so please your Excellencies—above all, of those dark and hideous mysteries which lie in the outer regions of the moon—regions which, owing to the almost miraculous accordance of the satellite’s rotation on its own axis with its sidereal revolution about the earth, have never yet been turned, and, by God’s mercy, never shall be turned, to the scrutiny of the telescopes of man. All this, and more—much more—would I most willingly detail. But, to be brief, I must have my reward. I am pining for a return to my family and to my home; and as the price of any farther communication on my part—in consideration of the light which I have it in my power to throw upon many very important branches of physical and metaphysical science—I must solicit, through the influence of your honorable body, a pardon for the crime of which I have been guilty in the death of the creditors upon my departure from Rotterdam. This, then, is the object of the present paper. Its bearer, an inhabitant of the moon, whom I have prevailed upon, and properly instructed, to be my messenger to the earth, will await your Excellencies’ pleasure, and return to me with the pardon in question, if it can, in any manner, be obtained.

“Therefore, esteemed Excellencies, after experiencing great anxiety, unheard-of dangers, and incredible escapes, I finally arrived safely on the nineteenth day after departing from Rotterdam. This journey was undoubtedly the most extraordinary and significant one ever undertaken by anyone on this planet. However, my adventures are still to be shared. You may imagine that after spending five years on a planet that is not only fascinating in its unique character but also made more interesting by its close connection as a satellite to the world inhabited by humans, I have information that would greatly interest the States’ College of Astronomers beyond the wonderful details of my journey. In fact, I have a lot—so much that I would be thrilled to share. I want to talk about the planet's climate, its incredible fluctuations between heat and cold, the scorching sun for one week followed by bitter cold for the next, a constant movement of moisture through a process like distillation from the area under the sun to the farthest point from it, a changing area of flowing water, the people of this planet, their customs, political systems, their unique physical features, their lack of ears—those unnecessary organs in such a uniquely modified atmosphere—which leads to their ignorance of speech and their unusual way of communicating. I want to explain the puzzling connection between each individual on the moon and a specific individual on Earth—connections that resemble and depend on the relationships between the celestial bodies of the planet and its satellites, weaving the lives and destinies of the inhabitants together. And above all, if it pleases you, I wish to discuss the dark and terrifying mysteries located in the moon's outer regions—areas that, due to the almost miraculous synchronization of the satellite's rotation and its orbit around the Earth, have never been visible and, by God’s mercy, will never be scrutinized by human telescopes. All this, and so much more, I would eagerly divulge. But to be brief, I require my reward. I long to return to my family and home; therefore, as the condition for sharing any further information—considering the valuable insights I could provide into many significant areas of physical and metaphysical science—I must request, through the influence of your honorable body, a pardon for the offense I committed concerning the debts owed upon my departure from Rotterdam. This, then, is the purpose of this document. Its bearer, a moon inhabitant whom I have persuaded and trained to be my messenger to Earth, will await your Excellencies’ response and return to me with the requested pardon, if it can, in any way, be obtained.”

“I have the honor to be, etc., your Excellencies’ very humble servant,

“I have the honor to be, etc., your Excellencies’ very humble servant,

“HANS PFAALL.”

“HANS PFAALL.”

Upon finishing the perusal of this very extraordinary document, Professor Rub-a-dub, it is said, dropped his pipe upon the ground in the extremity of his surprise, and Mynheer Superbus Von Underduk having taken off his spectacles, wiped them, and deposited them in his pocket, so far forgot both himself and his dignity, as to turn round three times upon his heel in the quintessence of astonishment and admiration. There was no doubt about the matter—the pardon should be obtained. So at least swore, with a round oath, Professor Rub-a-dub, and so finally thought the illustrious Von Underduk, as he took the arm of his brother in science, and without saying a word, began to make the best of his way home to deliberate upon the measures to be adopted. Having reached the door, however, of the burgomaster’s dwelling, the professor ventured to suggest that as the messenger had thought proper to disappear—no doubt frightened to death by the savage appearance of the burghers of Rotterdam—the pardon would be of little use, as no one but a man of the moon would undertake a voyage to so vast a distance. To the truth of this observation the burgomaster assented, and the matter was therefore at an end. Not so, however, rumors and speculations. The letter, having been published, gave rise to a variety of gossip and opinion. Some of the over-wise even made themselves ridiculous by decrying the whole business; as nothing better than a hoax. But hoax, with these sort of people, is, I believe, a general term for all matters above their comprehension. For my part, I cannot conceive upon what data they have founded such an accusation. Let us see what they say:

After finishing reading this very unusual document, Professor Rub-a-dub supposedly dropped his pipe in shock, and Mynheer Superbus Von Underduk, having taken off his glasses, wiped them, and put them in his pocket, forgot both his composure and dignity, turning around three times on his heel in pure astonishment and admiration. There was no doubt about it—the pardon would be granted. At least, that's what Professor Rub-a-dub swore with a strong oath, and that's what the esteemed Von Underduk thought as he took the arm of his fellow scholar and silently made his way home to think about the actions to be taken. However, upon reaching the burgomaster’s door, the professor suggested that since the messenger had chosen to vanish—no doubt terrified by the fierce look of the burghers of Rotterdam—the pardon would be pointless, as no one would travel such a great distance. The burgomaster agreed with this observation, and so the matter ended. However, rumors and speculation did not. The letter, once published, sparked all kinds of gossip and opinions. Some of the overly wise even made themselves look foolish by dismissing the whole matter as nothing more than a prank. But for these types of people, “prank” seems to be a catch-all term for anything beyond their understanding. As for me, I can't figure out on what basis they made such an accusation. Let's see what they say:

Imprimus. That certain wags in Rotterdam have certain especial antipathies to certain burgomasters and astronomers.

Imprimus. Some jokers in Rotterdam have specific dislikes for certain mayors and astronomers.

Don’t understand at all.

Totally don’t get it.

Secondly. That an odd little dwarf and bottle conjurer, both of whose ears, for some misdemeanor, have been cut off close to his head, has been missing for several days from the neighboring city of Bruges.

Secondly. An odd little dwarf and bottle conjurer, both of whose ears have been cut off close to his head for some misdeed, has been missing for several days from the nearby city of Bruges.

Well—what of that?

Well—what's up with that?

Thirdly. That the newspapers which were stuck all over the little balloon were newspapers of Holland, and therefore could not have been made in the moon. They were dirty papers—very dirty—and Gluck, the printer, would take his Bible oath to their having been printed in Rotterdam.

Thirdly. The newspapers that were plastered all over the little balloon were from Holland, so they couldn't have been made on the moon. They were filthy papers—really filthy—and Gluck, the printer, would swear on his Bible that they were printed in Rotterdam.

He was mistaken—undoubtedly—mistaken.

He was definitely mistaken.

Fourthly, That Hans Pfaall himself, the drunken villain, and the three very idle gentlemen styled his creditors, were all seen, no longer than two or three days ago, in a tippling house in the suburbs, having just returned, with money in their pockets, from a trip beyond the sea.

Fourthly, Hans Pfaall himself, the drunken scoundrel, and the three lazy gentlemen known as his creditors were all spotted just two or three days ago at a bar in the suburbs, having just come back with money in their pockets from a trip abroad.

Don’t believe it—don’t believe a word of it.

Don’t believe it—don’t believe a single word of it.

Lastly. That it is an opinion very generally received, or which ought to be generally received, that the College of Astronomers in the city of Rotterdam, as well as other colleges in all other parts of the world,—not to mention colleges and astronomers in general,—are, to say the least of the matter, not a whit better, nor greater, nor wiser than they ought to be.

Lastly, it's a widely accepted opinion, or at least it should be, that the College of Astronomers in Rotterdam, along with other colleges around the world—not to mention colleges and astronomers in general—are, to put it mildly, no better, greater, or wiser than they should be.

~~~ End of Text ~~~

Understood! Please provide the text you would like modernized.

Notes to Hans Pfaal

(*1) NOTE—Strictly speaking, there is but little similarity between the above sketchy trifle and the celebrated “Moon-Story” of Mr. Locke; but as both have the character of hoaxes (although the one is in a tone of banter, the other of downright earnest), and as both hoaxes are on the same subject, the moon—moreover, as both attempt to give plausibility by scientific detail—the author of “Hans Pfaall” thinks it necessary to say, in self-defence, that his own jeu d’esprit was published in the “Southern Literary Messenger” about three weeks before the commencement of Mr. L’s in the “New York Sun.” Fancying a likeness which, perhaps, does not exist, some of the New York papers copied “Hans Pfaall,” and collated it with the “Moon-Hoax,” by way of detecting the writer of the one in the writer of the other.

(*1) NOTE—To be clear, there's not much similarity between the brief sketch above and the famous "Moon-Story" by Mr. Locke; however, both are considered hoaxes (one being more playful and the other quite serious), and both hoaxes relate to the same topic—the moon. Additionally, both try to add credibility through scientific detail. The author of “Hans Pfaall” feels it’s necessary to state, in self-defense, that his own jeu d’esprit was published in the “Southern Literary Messenger” about three weeks before Mr. L's appeared in the “New York Sun.” Believing there is a resemblance that may not actually exist, some of the New York papers copied “Hans Pfaall” and compared it to the “Moon-Hoax” in an attempt to identify the author of one based on the other.

As many more persons were actually gulled by the “Moon-Hoax” than would be willing to acknowledge the fact, it may here afford some little amusement to show why no one should have been deceived-to point out those particulars of the story which should have been sufficient to establish its real character. Indeed, however rich the imagination displayed in this ingenious fiction, it wanted much of the force which might have been given it by a more scrupulous attention to facts and to general analogy. That the public were misled, even for an instant, merely proves the gross ignorance which is so generally prevalent upon subjects of an astronomical nature.

As many more people were actually fooled by the “Moon-Hoax” than would be willing to admit, it might be a bit entertaining to explain why no one should have been tricked—pointing out the details of the story that should have been enough to reveal its true nature. In fact, while the creativity shown in this clever fiction was impressive, it lacked much of the impact that could have been achieved with a more careful attention to facts and general principles. The fact that the public was misled, even for a moment, simply highlights the widespread ignorance that exists regarding astronomical topics.

The moon’s distance from the earth is, in round numbers, 240,000 miles. If we desire to ascertain how near, apparently, a lens would bring the satellite (or any distant object), we, of course, have but to divide the distance by the magnifying or, more strictly, by the space-penetrating power of the glass. Mr. L. makes his lens have a power of 42,000 times. By this divide 240,000 (the moon’s real distance), and we have five miles and five sevenths, as the apparent distance. No animal at all could be seen so far; much less the minute points particularized in the story. Mr. L. speaks about Sir John Herschel’s perceiving flowers (the Papaver rheas, etc.), and even detecting the color and the shape of the eyes of small birds. Shortly before, too, he has himself observed that the lens would not render perceptible objects of less than eighteen inches in diameter; but even this, as I have said, is giving the glass by far too great power. It may be observed, in passing, that this prodigious glass is said to have been molded at the glasshouse of Messrs. Hartley and Grant, in Dumbarton; but Messrs. H. and G.‘s establishment had ceased operations for many years previous to the publication of the hoax.

The moon is about 240,000 miles away from Earth. If we want to figure out how close a lens would make the moon (or any distant object) seem, we just need to divide that distance by the magnifying, or more accurately, space-penetrating power of the lens. Mr. L. claims his lens can magnify 42,000 times. So, if we divide 240,000 (the moon’s actual distance) by this, we get an apparent distance of five miles and five-sevenths. No animal could possibly be seen at that distance, let alone the tiny details mentioned in the story. Mr. L. talks about Sir John Herschel being able to see flowers (like the Papaver rhoeas) and even identifying the color and shape of small birds' eyes. Earlier, he also noted that the lens wouldn’t make objects smaller than eighteen inches in diameter visible; but even this is giving the lens way too much credit. It’s worth mentioning that this incredible lens is said to have been made at the glass factory of Messrs. Hartley and Grant in Dumbarton, but they had actually stopped operations many years before this hoax was published.

On page 13, pamphlet edition, speaking of “a hairy veil” over the eyes of a species of bison, the author says: “It immediately occurred to the acute mind of Dr. Herschel that this was a providential contrivance to protect the eyes of the animal from the great extremes of light and darkness to which all the inhabitants of our side of the moon are periodically subjected.” But this cannot be thought a very “acute” observation of the Doctor’s. The inhabitants of our side of the moon have, evidently, no darkness at all, so there can be nothing of the “extremes” mentioned. In the absence of the sun they have a light from the earth equal to that of thirteen full unclouded moons.

On page 13 of the pamphlet edition, talking about “a hairy veil” over the eyes of a type of bison, the author writes: “It immediately struck the sharp mind of Dr. Herschel that this was a clever adaptation to protect the animal's eyes from the severe contrasts of light and darkness that all the residents of our side of the moon regularly face.” However, this can’t really be considered a very “sharp” observation from the Doctor. Clearly, the residents of our side of the moon experience no darkness at all, so there can be no “extremes” as mentioned. Without the sun, they receive light from the Earth equivalent to that of thirteen full, clear moons.

The topography throughout, even when professing to accord with Blunt’s Lunar Chart, is entirely at variance with that or any other lunar chart, and even grossly at variance with itself. The points of the compass, too, are in inextricable confusion; the writer appearing to be ignorant that, on a lunar map, these are not in accordance with terrestrial points; the east being to the left, etc.

The layout throughout, even though claiming to match Blunt’s Lunar Chart, completely contradicts that chart or any other lunar chart and is even inconsistently represented within itself. The compass directions are also in complete disarray; the author seems to be unaware that, on a lunar map, these directions don’t align with the usual geographic points, with east being on the left, and so on.

Deceived, perhaps, by the vague titles, Mare Nubium, Mare Tranquillitatis, Mare Faecunditatis, etc., given to the dark spots by former astronomers, Mr. L. has entered into details regarding oceans and other large bodies of water in the moon; whereas there is no astronomical point more positively ascertained than that no such bodies exist there. In examining the boundary between light and darkness (in the crescent or gibbous moon) where this boundary crosses any of the dark places, the line of division is found to be rough and jagged; but, were these dark places liquid, it would evidently be even.

Deceived, perhaps, by the ambiguous names like Mare Nubium, Mare Tranquillitatis, and Mare Faecunditatis given to the dark areas by past astronomers, Mr. L. has gone into detail about oceans and other large bodies of water on the moon; however, there is no more certain fact in astronomy than that no such bodies exist there. When examining the boundary between light and darkness (in the crescent or gibbous moon) where this line crosses any of the dark areas, the division line appears rough and jagged; if these dark areas were liquid, it would clearly be smooth.

The description of the wings of the man-bat, on page 21, is but a literal copy of Peter Wilkins’ account of the wings of his flying islanders. This simple fact should have induced suspicion, at least, it might be thought.

The description of the man-bat's wings on page 21 is just a direct copy of Peter Wilkins' account of the wings of his flying islanders. This obvious fact should have raised some suspicion, or so it could be argued.

On page 23, we have the following: “What a prodigious influence must our thirteen times larger globe have exercised upon this satellite when an embryo in the womb of time, the passive subject of chemical affinity!” This is very fine; but it should be observed that no astronomer would have made such remark, especially to any journal of Science; for the earth, in the sense intended, is not only thirteen, but forty-nine times larger than the moon. A similar objection applies to the whole of the concluding pages, where, by way of introduction to some discoveries in Saturn, the philosophical correspondent enters into a minute schoolboy account of that planet—this to the “Edinburgh Journal of Science!”

On page 23, we read: “What an amazing influence our globe, which is thirteen times larger, must have had on this satellite when it was just a developing embryo!” This sounds impressive, but it's important to note that no astronomer would say something like this, especially to a scientific journal; because, in the context meant, the Earth is not just thirteen but actually forty-nine times larger than the moon. A similar issue arises in the rest of the concluding pages, where, as an introduction to some discoveries about Saturn, the philosophical correspondent provides a detailed, schoolboy-level explanation of that planet—this for the “Edinburgh Journal of Science!”

But there is one point, in particular, which should have betrayed the fiction. Let us imagine the power actually possessed of seeing animals upon the moon’s surface—what would first arrest the attention of an observer from the earth? Certainly neither their shape, size, nor any other such peculiarity, so soon as their remarkable situation. They would appear to be walking, with heels up and head down, in the manner of flies on a ceiling. The real observer would have uttered an instant ejaculation of surprise (however prepared by previous knowledge) at the singularity of their position; the fictitious observer has not even mentioned the subject, but speaks of seeing the entire bodies of such creatures, when it is demonstrable that he could have seen only the diameter of their heads!

But there’s one point, in particular, that should have revealed the fiction. Let’s imagine the ability to actually see animals on the moon’s surface—what would stand out most to an observer on Earth? Certainly not their shape, size, or any other oddity, but their unusual situation. They would look like they were walking upside down, with their heels up and heads down, like flies on a ceiling. The real observer would have gasped in surprise (no matter how much they were prepared by previous knowledge) at the weirdness of their position; the fictitious observer doesn’t even mention this, but talks about seeing the whole bodies of such creatures, when it’s clear that he could have only seen the size of their heads!

It might as well be remarked, in conclusion, that the size, and particularly the powers of the man-bats (for example, their ability to fly in so rare an atmosphere—if, indeed, the moon have any), with most of the other fancies in regard to animal and vegetable existence, are at variance, generally, with all analogical reasoning on these themes; and that analogy here will often amount to conclusive demonstration. It is, perhaps, scarcely necessary to add, that all the suggestions attributed to Brewster and Herschel, in the beginning of the article, about “a transfusion of artificial light through the focal object of vision,” etc., etc., belong to that species of figurative writing which comes, most properly, under the denomination of rigmarole.

It’s worth mentioning, in closing, that the size and especially the abilities of the man-bats (for instance, their capacity to fly in such a rare atmosphere—if the moon even has one), along with most other ideas about animal and plant life, generally contradict all logical reasoning on these topics; and that analogy here often serves as a definitive proof. It’s probably unnecessary to add that all the ideas attributed to Brewster and Herschel at the start of the article about “a transfusion of artificial light through the focal object of vision,” etc., belong to that kind of figurative writing that is best described as nonsense.

There is a real and very definite limit to optical discovery among the stars—a limit whose nature need only be stated to be understood. If, indeed, the casting of large lenses were all that is required, man’s ingenuity would ultimately prove equal to the task, and we might have them of any size demanded. But, unhappily, in proportion to the increase of size in the lens, and consequently of space-penetrating power, is the diminution of light from the object, by diffusion of its rays. And for this evil there is no remedy within human ability; for an object is seen by means of that light alone which proceeds from itself, whether direct or reflected. Thus the only “artificial” light which could avail Mr. Locke, would be some artificial light which he should be able to throw—not upon the “focal object of vision,” but upon the real object to be viewed—to wit: upon the moon. It has been easily calculated that, when the light proceeding from a star becomes so diffused as to be as weak as the natural light proceeding from the whole of the stars, in a clear and moonless night, then the star is no longer visible for any practical purpose.

There is a clear and definite limit to what we can discover optically among the stars—one that is easy to understand once it's mentioned. If all it took was making larger lenses, human creativity would eventually meet that challenge, and we could have lenses of any size. Unfortunately, as the size of the lens increases, so does the space-penetrating power, but the light from the object decreases due to the spreading of its rays. There’s no solution for this problem that humans can create; an object is only seen by the light it emits, whether directly or by reflection. Therefore, the only "artificial" light that could help Mr. Locke would be some kind of artificial illumination he could direct—not at the “focal object of vision,” but at the actual object he wanted to see—the moon. It has been calculated that when the light from a star becomes so spread out that it's as faint as the natural light from all the stars on a clear, moonless night, that star is no longer visible for any practical purpose.

The Earl of Ross’s telescope, lately constructed in England, has a speculum with a reflecting surface of 4,071 square inches; the Herschel telescope having one of only 1,811. The metal of the Earl of Ross’s is 6 feet diameter; it is 5 1/2 inches thick at the edges, and 5 at the centre. The weight is 3 tons. The focal length is 50 feet.

The Earl of Ross’s telescope, recently built in England, has a speculum with a reflecting surface of 4,071 square inches; the Herschel telescope has one that’s only 1,811. The metal of the Earl of Ross’s is 6 feet in diameter; it’s 5 1/2 inches thick at the edges and 5 inches at the center. It weighs 3 tons and has a focal length of 50 feet.

I have lately read a singular and somewhat ingenious little book, whose title-page runs thus: “L’Homme dans la lvne ou le Voyage Chimerique fait au Monde de la Lvne, nouellement decouvert par Dominique Gonzales, Aduanturier Espagnol, autrem?t dit le Courier volant. Mis en notre langve par J. B. D. A. Paris, chez Francois Piot, pres la Fontaine de Saint Benoist. Et chez J. Goignard, au premier pilier de la grand’salle du Palais, proche les Consultations, MDCXLVII.” Pp. 76.

I recently read a unique and somewhat clever little book, titled: “L’Homme dans la lune ou le Voyage Chimerique fait au Monde de la Lune, newly discovered by Dominique Gonzales, Adventurer from Spain, also known as the Flying Courier. Translated into our language by J. B. D. A. Paris, published by Francois Piot, near the Fountain of Saint Benoist. And by J. Goignard, at the first pillar of the great hall of the Palace, near the Consultations, MDCXLVII.” Pp. 76.

The writer professes to have translated his work from the English of one Mr. D’Avisson (Davidson?) although there is a terrible ambiguity in the statement. “J’ en ai eu,” says he “l’original de Monsieur D’Avisson, medecin des mieux versez qui soient aujourd’huy dans la cõnoissance des Belles Lettres, et sur tout de la Philosophic Naturelle. Je lui ai cette obligation entre les autres, de m’ auoir non seulement mis en main ce Livre en anglois, mais encore le Manuscrit du Sieur Thomas D’Anan, gentilhomme Eccossois, recommandable pour sa vertu, sur la version duquel j’ advoue que j’ ay tiré le plan de la mienne.”

The writer claims to have translated his work from the English of one Mr. D’Avisson (Davidson?), although there’s a significant ambiguity in this statement. “I have,” he says, “the original from Monsieur D’Avisson, one of the most knowledgeable doctors today in the study of the Fine Arts, especially Natural Philosophy. I owe him not only for providing me with this book in English but also for the manuscript from Sir Thomas D’Anan, a commendable Scottish gentleman known for his virtue, from whose version I admit I have drawn the outline of my own.”

After some irrelevant adventures, much in the manner of Gil Blas, and which occupy the first thirty pages, the author relates that, being ill during a sea voyage, the crew abandoned him, together with a negro servant, on the island of St. Helena. To increase the chances of obtaining food, the two separate, and live as far apart as possible. This brings about a training of birds, to serve the purpose of carrier-pigeons between them. By and by these are taught to carry parcels of some weight—and this weight is gradually increased. At length the idea is entertained of uniting the force of a great number of the birds, with a view to raising the author himself. A machine is contrived for the purpose, and we have a minute description of it, which is materially helped out by a steel engraving. Here we perceive the Signor Gonzales, with point ruffles and a huge periwig, seated astride something which resembles very closely a broomstick, and borne aloft by a multitude of wild swans (ganzas) who had strings reaching from their tails to the machine.

After some pointless adventures, similar to those of Gil Blas, which take up the first thirty pages, the author shares that while he was sick during a sea voyage, the crew abandoned him and a black servant on the island of St. Helena. To improve their chances of finding food, the two of them separate and live as far away from each other as possible. This leads to training birds to act as carrier pigeons between them. Gradually, these birds learn to carry parcels of some weight, and this weight is slowly increased. Eventually, they come up with the idea of using a large number of birds to lift the author himself. A machine is designed for this purpose, and there’s a detailed description of it, illustrated by a steel engraving. Here we see Signor Gonzales, with fancy ruffles and a large wig, sitting astride something that closely resembles a broomstick, lifted into the air by a flock of wild swans (ganzas) that have strings attached from their tails to the machine.

The main event detailed in the Signor’s narrative depends upon a very important fact, of which the reader is kept in ignorance until near the end of the book. The ganzas, with whom he had become so familiar, were not really denizens of St. Helena, but of the moon. Thence it had been their custom, time out of mind, to migrate annually to some portion of the earth. In proper season, of course, they would return home; and the author, happening, one day, to require their services for a short voyage, is unexpectedly carried straight tip, and in a very brief period arrives at the satellite. Here he finds, among other odd things, that the people enjoy extreme happiness; that they have no law; that they die without pain; that they are from ten to thirty feet in height; that they live five thousand years; that they have an emperor called Irdonozur; and that they can jump sixty feet high, when, being out of the gravitating influence, they fly about with fans.

The main event in the Signor’s story hinges on a crucial fact that the reader isn't told until near the end of the book. The ganzas, with whom he has become so familiar, are not actually residents of St. Helena but of the moon. It has been their custom for ages to migrate to different parts of the earth each year. Naturally, they return home in the right season; and one day, when the author needs their help for a quick trip, he is suddenly taken up and arrives at the moon in a very short time. There, he discovers, among other strange things, that the inhabitants are extremely happy; they have no law; they die painlessly; they range from ten to thirty feet tall; they can live for five thousand years; they are ruled by an emperor named Irdonozur; and they can leap sixty feet into the air, flying around with fans when they escape the pull of gravity.

I cannot forbear giving a specimen of the general philosophy of the volume.

I can't help but provide an example of the overall philosophy of the book.

“I must not forget here, that the stars appeared only on that side of the globe turned toward the moon, and that the closer they were to it the larger they seemed. I have also me and the earth. As to the stars, since there was no night where I was, they always had the same appearance; not brilliant, as usual, but pale, and very nearly like the moon of a morning. But few of them were visible, and these ten times larger (as well as I could judge) than they seem to the inhabitants of the earth. The moon, which wanted two days of being full, was of a terrible bigness.

“I must not forget that the stars appeared only on the side of the globe facing the moon, and the closer they were to it, the larger they seemed. I also considered myself and the earth. As for the stars, since there was no night where I was, they always looked the same; not bright like usual, but pale, almost like the morning moon. Only a few were visible, and they seemed ten times larger (as far as I could tell) than how they appear to the people on earth. The moon, just two days shy of being full, was enormous.

“I must not forget here, that the stars appeared only on that side of the globe turned toward the moon, and that the closer they were to it the larger they seemed. I have also to inform you that, whether it was calm weather or stormy, I found myself always immediately between the moon and the earth. I was convinced of this for two reasons-because my birds always flew in a straight line; and because whenever we attempted to rest, we were carried insensibly around the globe of the earth. For I admit the opinion of Copernicus, who maintains that it never ceases to revolve from the east to the west, not upon the poles of the Equinoctial, commonly called the poles of the world, but upon those of the Zodiac, a question of which I propose to speak more at length here-after, when I shall have leisure to refresh my memory in regard to the astrology which I learned at Salamanca when young, and have since forgotten.”

“I must not forget that the stars only appeared on the side of the globe that faced the moon, and the closer they were to it, the bigger they looked. I also need to mention that, whether it was calm or stormy, I always found myself right between the moon and the earth. I was convinced of this for two reasons—my birds always flew in a straight line, and whenever we tried to rest, we were effortlessly carried around the globe of the earth. I agree with Copernicus, who claims that it never stops revolving from east to west, not on the poles of the Equinox, commonly known as the poles of the world, but on those of the Zodiac. This is something I plan to discuss in more detail later, when I have the time to refresh my memory about the astrology I learned at Salamanca when I was young and have since forgotten.”

Notwithstanding the blunders italicized, the book is not without some claim to attention, as affording a naive specimen of the current astronomical notions of the time. One of these assumed, that the “gravitating power” extended but a short distance from the earth’s surface, and, accordingly, we find our voyager “carried insensibly around the globe,” etc.

Despite the highlighted mistakes, the book still deserves some attention because it provides a simple example of the astronomical ideas of the time. One of these ideas assumed that the "gravitational force" only reached a short distance from the earth's surface, which is why we see our traveler being "carried effortlessly around the globe," etc.

There have been other “voyages to the moon,” but none of higher merit than the one just mentioned. That of Bergerac is utterly meaningless. In the third volume of the “American Quarterly Review” will be found quite an elaborate criticism upon a certain “journey” of the kind in question—a criticism in which it is difficult to say whether the critic most exposes the stupidity of the book, or his own absurd ignorance of astronomy. I forget the title of the work; but the means of the voyage are more deplorably ill conceived than are even the ganzas of our friend the Signor Gonzales. The adventurer, in digging the earth, happens to discover a peculiar metal for which the moon has a strong attraction, and straightway constructs of it a box, which, when cast loose from its terrestrial fastenings, flies with him, forthwith, to the satellite. The “Flight of Thomas O’Rourke,” is a jeu d’ esprit not altogether contemptible, and has been translated into German. Thomas, the hero, was, in fact, the gamekeeper of an Irish peer, whose eccentricities gave rise to the tale. The “flight” is made on an eagle’s back, from Hungry Hill, a lofty mountain at the end of Bantry Bay.

There have been other "voyages to the moon," but none as noteworthy as the one just mentioned. Bergerac's journey is completely meaningless. In the third volume of the "American Quarterly Review," there's a detailed critique of a certain "journey" of this kind—a critique where it's hard to tell if the critic is exposing the book's nonsense or showcasing his own ridiculous ignorance of astronomy. I can't remember the title of the work, but the method of the voyage is even more poorly conceived than the absurdities of our buddy, Signor Gonzales. The adventurer, while digging into the ground, discovers a special metal that has a strong attraction to the moon and immediately constructs a box from it, which, when released from its earthly restraints, flies him to the moon. "The Flight of Thomas O’Rourke" is a clever piece that's not wholly dismissible, and it has been translated into German. Thomas, the main character, was actually the gamekeeper for an Irish nobleman, whose quirks inspired the story. The "flight" takes place on the back of an eagle, starting from Hungry Hill, a tall mountain at the edge of Bantry Bay.

In these various brochures the aim is always satirical; the theme being a description of Lunarian customs as compared with ours. In none is there any effort at plausibility in the details of the voyage itself. The writers seem, in each instance, to be utterly uninformed in respect to astronomy. In “Hans Pfaall” the design is original, inasmuch as regards an attempt at verisimilitude, in the application of scientific principles (so far as the whimsical nature of the subject would permit), to the actual passage between the earth and the moon.

In these various brochures, the goal is always satirical, focusing on a comparison of Lunarian customs with our own. None of them make any effort to be plausible regarding the details of the journey itself. The authors seem to be completely clueless about astronomy in every case. In "Hans Pfaall," the concept is unique because it attempts to be verisimilitude by applying scientific principles (as much as the whimsical nature of the topic allows) to the actual journey between the Earth and the moon.

(*2) The zodiacal light is probably what the ancients called Trabes. Emicant Trabes quos docos vocant.—Pliny, lib. 2, p. 26.

(*2) The zodiacal light is probably what the ancients referred to as Trabes. Emicant Trabes quos docos vocant.—Pliny, lib. 2, p. 26.

(*3) Since the original publication of Hans Pfaall, I find that Mr. Green, of Nassau balloon notoriety, and other late aeronauts, deny the assertions of Humboldt, in this respect, and speak of a decreasing inconvenience,—precisely in accordance with the theory here urged in a mere spirit of banter.

(*3) Since the original publication of Hans Pfaall, I see that Mr. Green, known for his balloon fame in Nassau, and other recent balloonists, reject Humboldt's claims on this matter and mention a decreasing discomfort—exactly in line with the theory presented here, albeit in a joking manner.

(*4) Hevelius writes that he has several times found, in skies perfectly clear, when even stars of the sixth and seventh magnitude were conspicuous, that, at the same altitude of the moon, at the same elongation from the earth, and with one and the same excellent telescope, the moon and its maculae did not appear equally lucid at all times. From the circumstances of the observation, it is evident that the cause of this phenomenon is not either in our air, in the tube, in the moon, or in the eye of the spectator, but must be looked for in something (an atmosphere?) existing about the moon.

(*4) Hevelius notes that he has often observed, in completely clear skies, when even sixth and seventh magnitude stars were clearly visible, that at the same altitude of the moon, at the same distance from the earth, and using the same high-quality telescope, the moon and its dark areas did not always appear equally bright. Based on the conditions of the observation, it is clear that the reason for this phenomenon is not due to our atmosphere, the telescope, the moon itself, or the observer’s eye, but should be sought in something (like an atmosphere?) surrounding the moon.

Cassini frequently observed Saturn, Jupiter, and the fixed stars, when approaching the moon to occultation, to have their circular figure changed into an oval one; and, in other occultations, he found no alteration of figure at all. Hence it might be supposed, that at some times and not at others, there is a dense matter encompassing the moon wherein the rays of the stars are refracted.

Cassini often observed Saturn, Jupiter, and the fixed stars when they were near the moon during occultations and noticed that their circular shape changed to an oval one. In other occultations, he saw no change in shape at all. This suggests that at certain times, there might be a dense material surrounding the moon that refracts the light from the stars.

THE GOLD-BUG

What ho! what ho! this fellow is dancing mad!
He hath been bitten by the Tarantula.

What’s up! What’s up! This guy is dancing like crazy!
He must have been bitten by a Tarantula.

—All in the Wrong.

—All in the Wrong.

Many years ago, I contracted an intimacy with a Mr. William Legrand. He was of an ancient Huguenot family, and had once been wealthy; but a series of misfortunes had reduced him to want. To avoid the mortification consequent upon his disasters, he left New Orleans, the city of his forefathers, and took up his residence at Sullivan’s Island, near Charleston, South Carolina.

Many years ago, I became close friends with a Mr. William Legrand. He came from an old Huguenot family and had once been wealthy, but a string of bad luck had left him in need. To escape the embarrassment that came with his misfortunes, he left New Orleans, the city of his ancestors, and moved to Sullivan’s Island, near Charleston, South Carolina.

This Island is a very singular one. It consists of little else than the sea sand, and is about three miles long. Its breadth at no point exceeds a quarter of a mile. It is separated from the main land by a scarcely perceptible creek, oozing its way through a wilderness of reeds and slime, a favorite resort of the marsh hen. The vegetation, as might be supposed, is scant, or at least dwarfish. No trees of any magnitude are to be seen. Near the western extremity, where Fort Moultrie stands, and where are some miserable frame buildings, tenanted, during summer, by the fugitives from Charleston dust and fever, may be found, indeed, the bristly palmetto; but the whole island, with the exception of this western point, and a line of hard, white beach on the seacoast, is covered with a dense undergrowth of the sweet myrtle, so much prized by the horticulturists of England. The shrub here often attains the height of fifteen or twenty feet, and forms an almost impenetrable coppice, burthening the air with its fragrance.

This island is very unique. It's mostly just sea sand and is about three miles long. At its widest point, it doesn't exceed a quarter of a mile. It's separated from the mainland by a barely noticeable creek that winds through a tangle of reeds and mud, a favorite spot for marsh hens. As you might expect, the vegetation is sparse or at least stunted. There aren’t any large trees to be seen. Near the western end, where Fort Moultrie is located, and where some rundown frame buildings are occupied during the summer by people escaping the dust and fever of Charleston, you can find the bristly palmetto. However, aside from this western point and a stretch of hard, white beach along the coast, the entire island is covered with a thick undergrowth of sweet myrtle, highly valued by horticulturists in England. Here, the shrub often grows to fifteen or twenty feet tall, creating an almost impassable thicket, filling the air with its fragrance.

In the inmost recesses of this coppice, not far from the eastern or more remote end of the island, Legrand had built himself a small hut, which he occupied when I first, by mere accident, made his acquaintance. This soon ripened into friendship—for there was much in the recluse to excite interest and esteem. I found him well educated, with unusual powers of mind, but infected with misanthropy, and subject to perverse moods of alternate enthusiasm and melancholy. He had with him many books, but rarely employed them. His chief amusements were gunning and fishing, or sauntering along the beach and through the myrtles, in quest of shells or entomological specimens—his collection of the latter might have been envied by a Swammerdamm. In these excursions he was usually accompanied by an old negro, called Jupiter, who had been manumitted before the reverses of the family, but who could be induced, neither by threats nor by promises, to abandon what he considered his right of attendance upon the footsteps of his young “Massa Will.” It is not improbable that the relatives of Legrand, conceiving him to be somewhat unsettled in intellect, had contrived to instil this obstinacy into Jupiter, with a view to the supervision and guardianship of the wanderer.

In the deepest part of this thicket, not far from the eastern or more remote end of the island, Legrand had built a small hut that he used when I first met him by pure chance. This quickly developed into a friendship—there was a lot about the hermit that sparked my interest and respect. I found him well-educated, with remarkable intelligence, but he struggled with misanthropy and experienced unpredictable moods of alternating enthusiasm and sadness. He had many books with him, but he rarely used them. His main hobbies were hunting and fishing, or strolling along the beach and through the myrtles in search of shells or insect specimens—his collection of the latter could have made even a Swammerdamm jealous. During these outings, he was usually accompanied by an old Black man named Jupiter, who had been freed before the family's troubles began, but who could not be persuaded, either by threats or promises, to give up what he saw as his right to follow his young “Massa Will.” It’s quite possible that Legrand's relatives, thinking he might be a little unstable, had somehow instilled this stubbornness in Jupiter to keep an eye on him.

The winters in the latitude of Sullivan’s Island are seldom very severe, and in the fall of the year it is a rare event indeed when a fire is considered necessary. About the middle of October, 18—, there occurred, however, a day of remarkable chilliness. Just before sunset I scrambled my way through the evergreens to the hut of my friend, whom I had not visited for several weeks—my residence being, at that time, in Charleston, a distance of nine miles from the island, while the facilities of passage and re-passage were very far behind those of the present day. Upon reaching the hut I rapped, as was my custom, and getting no reply, sought for the key where I knew it was secreted, unlocked the door and went in. A fine fire was blazing upon the hearth. It was a novelty, and by no means an ungrateful one. I threw off an overcoat, took an arm-chair by the crackling logs, and awaited patiently the arrival of my hosts.

The winters at Sullivan’s Island aren't usually very harsh, and it's pretty rare to need a fire in the fall. However, in mid-October of 18—, there was a surprisingly chilly day. Just before sunset, I made my way through the evergreens to visit my friend, whom I hadn't seen in a few weeks. At that time, I was living in Charleston, about nine miles from the island, and getting back and forth was much more complicated than it is today. When I arrived at the hut, I knocked, as I usually did, and when there was no answer, I looked for the key where I knew it was hidden. I unlocked the door and stepped inside. A nice fire was crackling in the hearth. It was a nice change, and I appreciated it. I took off my overcoat, settled into an armchair by the warm logs, and patiently waited for my hosts to arrive.

Soon after dark they arrived, and gave me a most cordial welcome. Jupiter, grinning from ear to ear, bustled about to prepare some marsh-hens for supper. Legrand was in one of his fits—how else shall I term them?—of enthusiasm. He had found an unknown bivalve, forming a new genus, and, more than this, he had hunted down and secured, with Jupiter’s assistance, a scarabæus which he believed to be totally new, but in respect to which he wished to have my opinion on the morrow.

Soon after dark, they arrived and gave me a very warm welcome. Jupiter, grinning from ear to ear, hurried around to prepare some marsh-hens for dinner. Legrand was in one of his excited moods—how else should I describe them?—because he had discovered an unknown bivalve that formed a new genus. Even more, he had tracked down and secured, with Jupiter’s help, a scarabæus that he believed was completely new, but he wanted my opinion on it the next day.

“And why not to-night?” I asked, rubbing my hands over the blaze, and wishing the whole tribe of scarabæi at the devil.

“And why not tonight?” I asked, rubbing my hands over the fire and wishing the whole tribe of scarabæi to hell.

“Ah, if I had only known you were here!” said Legrand, “but it’s so long since I saw you; and how could I foresee that you would pay me a visit this very night of all others? As I was coming home I met Lieutenant G——, from the fort, and, very foolishly, I lent him the bug; so it will be impossible for you to see it until the morning. Stay here to-night, and I will send Jup down for it at sunrise. It is the loveliest thing in creation!”

“Ah, if I had only known you were here!” said Legrand, “but it’s been so long since I saw you; how could I have predicted you would come to visit me tonight of all nights? On my way home, I bumped into Lieutenant G—— from the fort, and, quite stupidly, I lent him the bug; so it won’t be possible for you to see it until morning. Stay here tonight, and I’ll send Jup down for it at sunrise. It’s the most beautiful thing ever!”

“What?—sunrise?”

“Wait, is that a sunrise?”

“Nonsense! no!—the bug. It is of a brilliant gold color—about the size of a large hickory-nut—with two jet black spots near one extremity of the back, and another, somewhat longer, at the other. The antennæ are—”

“Nonsense! No!—the bug. It’s a bright gold color—about the size of a large hickory nut—with two jet black spots near one end of its back, and another, slightly longer, on the other end. The antennae are—”

“Dey aint no tin in him, Massa Will, I keep a tellin on you,” here interrupted Jupiter; “de bug is a goole bug, solid, ebery bit of him, inside and all, sep him wing—neber feel half so hebby a bug in my life.”

“There's no tin in him, Master Will, I keep telling you,” Jupiter interrupted. “The bug is a goole bug, solid, every bit of him, inside and all, except his wing—I’ve never felt a bug that heavy in my life.”

“Well, suppose it is, Jup,” replied Legrand, somewhat more earnestly, it seemed to me, than the case demanded, “is that any reason for your letting the birds burn? The color”—here he turned to me—“is really almost enough to warrant Jupiter’s idea. You never saw a more brilliant metallic lustre than the scales emit—but of this you cannot judge till tomorrow. In the mean time I can give you some idea of the shape.” Saying this, he seated himself at a small table, on which were a pen and ink, but no paper. He looked for some in a drawer, but found none.

“Well, suppose it is, Jup,” Legrand replied, sounding a bit more serious than the situation required, “does that mean you should let the birds burn? The color”—he turned to me—“is really almost enough to support Jupiter’s theory. You’ve never seen a more brilliant metallic shine than the scales give off—but you won’t be able to judge that until tomorrow. In the meantime, I can give you an idea of the shape.” With that, he sat down at a small table with a pen and ink but no paper. He searched through a drawer but found none.

“Never mind,” said he at length, “this will answer;” and he drew from his waistcoat pocket a scrap of what I took to be very dirty foolscap, and made upon it a rough drawing with the pen. While he did this, I retained my seat by the fire, for I was still chilly. When the design was complete, he handed it to me without rising. As I received it, a loud growl was heard, succeeded by a scratching at the door. Jupiter opened it, and a large Newfoundland, belonging to Legrand, rushed in, leaped upon my shoulders, and loaded me with caresses; for I had shown him much attention during previous visits. When his gambols were over, I looked at the paper, and, to speak the truth, found myself not a little puzzled at what my friend had depicted.

"Never mind," he said after a moment, "this will work;" and he pulled out a piece of what I assumed was very dirty paper from his waistcoat pocket and quickly sketched something on it with a pen. While he was doing this, I stayed seated by the fire because I was still feeling cold. When the drawing was finished, he handed it to me without standing up. As I took it, I heard a loud growl followed by scratching at the door. Jupiter opened it, and a big Newfoundland dog, owned by Legrand, bolted in, jumped onto my shoulders, and showered me with affection; I had given him a lot of attention during previous visits. After his playful antics ended, I looked at the paper and, to be honest, found myself quite confused by what my friend had drawn.

“Well!” I said, after contemplating it for some minutes, “this is a strange scarabæus, I must confess: new to me: never saw anything like it before—unless it was a skull, or a death’s-head—which it more nearly resembles than anything else that has come under my observation.”

“Well!” I said, after thinking about it for a few minutes, “this is a weird scarab, I have to admit: it’s new to me; I’ve never seen anything like it before—unless it was a skull or a death's head—which it looks more like than anything else I’ve seen.”

“A death’s-head!” echoed Legrand. “Oh—yes—well, it has something of that appearance upon paper, no doubt. The two upper black spots look like eyes, eh? and the longer one at the bottom like a mouth—and then the shape of the whole is oval.”

“A death’s-head!” echoed Legrand. “Oh—yeah—well, it does have a bit of that look on paper, no doubt. The two upper black spots resemble eyes, right? And the longer one at the bottom looks like a mouth—and then the whole shape is oval.”

“Perhaps so,” said I; “but, Legrand, I fear you are no artist. I must wait until I see the beetle itself, if I am to form any idea of its personal appearance.”

“Maybe,” I said; “but, Legrand, I’m afraid you’re not really an artist. I need to see the beetle itself before I can get any idea of what it actually looks like.”

“Well, I don’t know,” said he, a little nettled, “I draw tolerably—should do it at least—have had good masters, and flatter myself that I am not quite a blockhead.”

“Well, I don’t know,” he said, a bit annoyed, “I draw pretty well—should be able to at least—had good teachers, and I think I’m not totally clueless.”

“But, my dear fellow, you are joking then,” said I, “this is a very passable skull—indeed, I may say that it is a very excellent skull, according to the vulgar notions about such specimens of physiology—and your scarabæus must be the queerest scarabæus in the world if it resembles it. Why, we may get up a very thrilling bit of superstition upon this hint. I presume you will call the bug scarabæus caput hominis, or something of that kind—there are many similar titles in the Natural Histories. But where are the antennæ you spoke of?”

“But, my dear friend, you’re joking, right?” I said. “This is a pretty good skull—actually, I’d say it’s an excellent skull, judging by common ideas about these kinds of physiological specimens—and your scarab must be the strangest scarab in the world if it looks like this. We could create a really exciting piece of superstition based on this idea. I assume you’ll call the bug scarabæus caput hominis, or something like that—there are plenty of titles like that in Natural Histories. But where are the antennæ you mentioned?”

“The antennæ!” said Legrand, who seemed to be getting unaccountably warm upon the subject; “I am sure you must see the antennæ. I made them as distinct as they are in the original insect, and I presume that is sufficient.”

“The antennae!” said Legrand, who seemed to be getting inexplicably fired up about the topic; “I’m sure you can see the antennae. I made them as clear as they are in the original insect, and I assume that’s enough.”

“Well, well,” I said, “perhaps you have—still I don’t see them;” and I handed him the paper without additional remark, not wishing to ruffle his temper; but I was much surprised at the turn affairs had taken; his ill humor puzzled me—and, as for the drawing of the beetle, there were positively no antennæ visible, and the whole did bear a very close resemblance to the ordinary cuts of a death’s-head.

"Well, well," I said, "maybe you do—but I still don't see them;" and I handed him the paper without saying anything more, not wanting to upset him; but I was quite surprised at how things had turned out; his bad mood confused me—and as for the drawing of the beetle, there were definitely no antennae in sight, and the whole thing did look a lot like the typical images of a death’s-head.

He received the paper very peevishly, and was about to crumple it, apparently to throw it in the fire, when a casual glance at the design seemed suddenly to rivet his attention. In an instant his face grew violently red—in another as excessively pale. For some minutes he continued to scrutinize the drawing minutely where he sat. At length he arose, took a candle from the table, and proceeded to seat himself upon a sea-chest in the farthest corner of the room. Here again he made an anxious examination of the paper; turning it in all directions. He said nothing, however, and his conduct greatly astonished me; yet I thought it prudent not to exacerbate the growing moodiness of his temper by any comment. Presently he took from his coat pocket a wallet, placed the paper carefully in it, and deposited both in a writing-desk, which he locked. He now grew more composed in his demeanor; but his original air of enthusiasm had quite disappeared. Yet he seemed not so much sulky as abstracted. As the evening wore away he became more and more absorbed in reverie, from which no sallies of mine could arouse him. It had been my intention to pass the night at the hut, as I had frequently done before, but, seeing my host in this mood, I deemed it proper to take leave. He did not press me to remain, but, as I departed, he shook my hand with even more than his usual cordiality.

He received the paper very irritably and was about to crumple it, seemingly to throw it in the fire, when a quick look at the design caught his attention. In an instant, his face turned bright red, and then as pale as could be. For several minutes, he kept examining the drawing closely while he sat there. Finally, he got up, took a candle from the table, and sat down on a sea chest in the farthest corner of the room. Again, he carefully examined the paper, turning it in every direction. He didn't say anything, though, and his behavior surprised me; still, I thought it wise not to provoke his growing moodiness with any comments. A little while later, he took a wallet from his coat pocket, placed the paper carefully inside it, and put both in a locked writing desk. He became more composed in his demeanor, but his earlier excitement had totally vanished. He didn’t seem sulky, just lost in thought. As the evening went on, he became increasingly absorbed in his daydreams, from which nothing I said could bring him back. I had intended to stay the night at the hut, as I had done many times before, but seeing my host in this state, I decided it was best to leave. He didn’t try to convince me to stay, but as I left, he shook my hand with even more warmth than usual.

It was about a month after this (and during the interval I had seen nothing of Legrand) when I received a visit, at Charleston, from his man, Jupiter. I had never seen the good old negro look so dispirited, and I feared that some serious disaster had befallen my friend.

It was about a month after this (and during that time I hadn’t seen Legrand) when I got a visit in Charleston from his servant, Jupiter. I had never seen the good old man look so down, and I was worried that something serious had happened to my friend.

“Well, Jup,” said I, “what is the matter now?—how is your master?”

“Well, Jup,” I said, “what’s going on now?—how is your boss?”

“Why, to speak de troof, massa, him not so berry well as mought be.”

“Honestly, sir, he’s not doing as well as he could be.”

“Not well! I am truly sorry to hear it. What does he complain of?”

“Not great! I'm really sorry to hear that. What's he complaining about?”

“Dar! dat’s it!—him neber ’plain of notin’—but him berry sick for all dat.”

“Darn! That’s it! He never complains about anything – but he’s really sick because of it.”

Very sick, Jupiter!—why didn’t you say so at once? Is he confined to bed?”

Very sick, Jupiter!—why didn’t you mention it right away? Is he stuck in bed?”

“No, dat he aint!—he aint ’fin’d nowhar—dat’s just whar de shoe pinch—my mind is got to be berry hebby ’bout poor Massa Will.”

“No, he isn't!—he isn’t found anywhere—that’s just where the problem lies—I'm really worried about poor Massa Will.”

“Jupiter, I should like to understand what it is you are talking about. You say your master is sick. Hasn’t he told you what ails him?”

“Jupiter, I’d like to understand what you’re talking about. You say your master is sick. Hasn’t he told you what’s wrong with him?”

“Why, massa, ’taint worf while for to git mad about de matter—Massa Will say noffin at all aint de matter wid him—but den what make him go about looking dis here way, wid he head down and he soldiers up, and as white as a gose? And den he keep a syphon all de time—”

“Why, boss, it’s not worth getting mad about—Boss will say nothing’s wrong with him—but then why is he walking around like this, with his head down and his shoulders up, looking as pale as a goose? And then he’s always sighing—”

“Keeps a what, Jupiter?”

“Keeps a what, Jupes?”

“Keeps a syphon wid de figgurs on de slate—de queerest figgurs I ebber did see. Ise gittin’ to be skeered, I tell you. Hab for to keep mighty tight eye ’pon him ’noovers. Todder day he gib me slip ’fore de sun up and was gone de whole ob de blessed day. I had a big stick ready cut for to gib him deuced good beating when he did come—but Ise sich a fool dat I hadn’t de heart arter all—he look so berry poorly.”

“Keeps a siphon with the drawings on the slate—the strangest drawings I’ve ever seen. I’m starting to get scared, I tell you. I have to keep a really close eye on his movements. The other day, he slipped out before sunrise and was gone the entire blessed day. I had a big stick ready to give him a real good beating when he came back—but I’m such a fool that I didn’t have the heart after all—he looked so very unwell.”

“Eh?—what?—ah yes!—upon the whole I think you had better not be too severe with the poor fellow—don’t flog him, Jupiter—he can’t very well stand it—but can you form no idea of what has occasioned this illness, or rather this change of conduct? Has anything unpleasant happened since I saw you?”

“Hey?—what?—oh right!—overall, I think you should go easy on the poor guy—don’t beat him, Jupiter—he really can’t take it—but can’t you figure out what caused this illness, or rather this change in behavior? Has anything bad happened since I last saw you?”

“No, massa, dey aint bin noffin onpleasant since den—‘twas ’fore den I’m feared—‘twas de berry day you was dare.”

“No, sir, there hasn’t been anything unpleasant since then—it was before that I’m afraid—it was the very day you were there.”

“How? what do you mean?”

“How? What do you mean?”

“Why, massa, I mean de bug—dare now.”

“Why, master, I mean the bug—dare now.”

“The what?”

“What’s that?”

“De bug,—I’m berry sartain dat Massa Will bin bit somewhere ’bout de head by dat goole-bug.”

“De bug—I’m very sure that Massa Will has been bitten somewhere on the head by that bug.”

“And what cause have you, Jupiter, for such a supposition?”

“And what reason do you have, Jupiter, for thinking that?”

“Claws enuff, massa, and mouff too. I nebber did see sick a deuced bug—he kick and he bite ebery ting what cum near him. Massa Will cotch him fuss, but had for to let him go ’gin mighty quick, I tell you—den was de time he must ha’ got de bite. I did n’t like de look oh de bug mouff, myself, no how, so I would n’t take hold ob him wid my finger, but I cotch him wid a piece ob paper dat I found. I rap him up in de paper and stuff piece ob it in he mouff—dat was de way.”

“Plenty of claws, sir, and a mouth too. I've never seen such a nasty bug—he kicks and bites everything that gets close to him. Master Will caught him first, but had to let him go pretty quick, I tell you—that’s when he must have gotten the bite. I didn’t like the look of the bug's mouth, myself, so I wouldn’t grab him with my fingers, but I caught him with a piece of paper that I found. I wrapped him up in the paper and stuffed a bit of it in his mouth—that's how I did it.”

“And you think, then, that your master was really bitten by the beetle, and that the bite made him sick?”

“And you really believe that your master was actually bitten by the beetle, and that the bite made him sick?”

“I do n’t tink noffin about it—I nose it. What make him dream ’bout de goole so much, if ’taint cause he bit by de goole-bug? Ise heerd ’bout dem goole-bugs fore dis.”

“I don't think anything about it—I know it. What makes him dream about the gold so much, if it ain't because he's bitten by the gold-bug? I've heard about those gold-bugs before this.”

“But how do you know he dreams about gold?”

“But how do you know he dreams about gold?”

“How I know? why ’cause he talk about it in he sleep—dat’s how I nose.”

“How do I know? Because he talks about it in his sleep—that’s how I know.”

“Well, Jup, perhaps you are right; but to what fortunate circumstance am I to attribute the honor of a visit from you to-day?”

“Well, Jup, maybe you’re right; but what lucky event should I thank for the honor of your visit today?”

“What de matter, massa?”

"What's the matter, sir?"

“Did you bring any message from Mr. Legrand?”

“Did you bring any message from Mr. Legrand?”

“No, massa, I bring dis here pissel;” and here Jupiter handed me a note which ran thus:

“No, sir, I brought this here note;” and here Jupiter handed me a note that said:

“MY DEAR ——Why have I not seen you for so long a time? I hope you have not been so foolish as to take offence at any little brusquerie of mine; but no, that is improbable. Since I saw you I have had great cause for anxiety. I have something to tell you, yet scarcely know how to tell it, or whether I should tell it at all.

“MY DEAR ——Why haven’t I seen you in so long? I hope you haven’t been upset by any of my little bluntness; but no, that seems unlikely. Since I last saw you, I've had a lot on my mind. I have something to share, but I’m not sure how to say it or if I should say it at all.”

“I have not been quite well for some days past, and poor old Jup annoys me, almost beyond endurance, by his well-meant attentions. Would you believe it?—he had prepared a huge stick, the other day, with which to chastise me for giving him the slip, and spending the day, solus, among the hills on the main land. I verily believe that my ill looks alone saved me a flogging.

“I haven't been feeling great for the past few days, and poor old Jup is really getting on my nerves with his well-meaning efforts. Can you believe it? The other day, he got a huge stick ready to punish me for slipping away and spending the day alone among the hills on the mainland. I honestly think my bad appearance is the only reason I avoided a beating.”

“I have made no addition to my cabinet since we met.

“I haven't added anything to my cabinet since we met.

“If you can, in any way, make it convenient, come over with Jupiter. Do come. I wish to see you to-night, upon business of importance. I assure you that it is of the highest importance.

“If you can, in any way, make it convenient, come over with Jupiter. Do come. I want to see you tonight for something important. I promise you it’s of the highest importance.”

“Ever yours,
“WILLIAM LEGRAND”.

“Ever yours,
“WILLIAM LEGRAND”.

There was something in the tone of this note which gave me great uneasiness. Its whole style differed materially from that of Legrand. What could he be dreaming of? What new crotchet possessed his excitable brain? What “business of the highest importance” could he possibly have to transact? Jupiter’s account of him boded no good. I dreaded lest the continued pressure of misfortune had, at length, fairly unsettled the reason of my friend. Without a moment’s hesitation, therefore, I prepared to accompany the negro.

There was something in the tone of this note that made me really uneasy. Its entire style was completely different from Legrand's. What could he be thinking? What new obsession had taken over his restless mind? What “business of the highest importance” could he possibly have to deal with? Jupiter’s description of him didn’t sound good. I feared that the ongoing weight of misfortune had finally driven my friend to madness. Without a second thought, I got ready to go with the guy.

Upon reaching the wharf, I noticed a scythe and three spades, all apparently new, lying in the bottom of the boat in which we were to embark.

Upon arriving at the wharf, I saw a scythe and three shovels, all looking brand new, resting at the bottom of the boat we were about to board.

“What is the meaning of all this, Jup?” I inquired.

“What does all this mean, Jup?” I asked.

“Him syfe, massa, and spade.”

“His scythe, saddle, and spade.”

“Very true; but what are they doing here?”

“That's very true; but what are they doing here?”

“Him de syfe and de spade what Massa Will sis pon my buying for him in de town, and de debbil’s own lot of money I had to gib for ’em.”

“Him said the scythe and the spade that Mr. Will will sit on my buying for him in the town, and the devil’s own lot of money I had to give for them.”

“But what, in the name of all that is mysterious, is your ‘Massa Will’ going to do with scythes and spades?”

"But what, for all that's mysterious, is your 'Massa Will' going to do with scythes and spades?"

“Dat’s more dan I know, and debbil take me if I don’t b’lieve ’tis more dan he know, too. But it’s all cum ob do bug.”

“That's more than I know, and devil take me if I don't believe it's more than he knows, too. But it's all come off the bug.”

Finding that no satisfaction was to be obtained of Jupiter, whose whole intellect seemed to be absorbed by “de bug,” I now stepped into the boat and made sail. With a fair and strong breeze we soon ran into the little cove to the northward of Fort Moultrie, and a walk of some two miles brought us to the hut. It was about three in the afternoon when we arrived. Legrand had been awaiting us in eager expectation. He grasped my hand with a nervous empressement which alarmed me and strengthened the suspicions already entertained. His countenance was pale even to ghastliness, and his deep-set eyes glared with unnatural lustre. After some inquiries respecting his health, I asked him, not knowing what better to say, if he had yet obtained the scarabæus from Lieutenant G——.

Finding that I couldn’t get any satisfaction from Jupiter, who seemed completely focused on “de bug,” I got into the boat and set sail. With a good strong breeze, we quickly reached the small cove north of Fort Moultrie, and a walk of about two miles took us to the hut. We arrived around three in the afternoon. Legrand had been waiting for us with eager anticipation. He shook my hand with a nervous urgency that worried me and reinforced my suspicions. His face was pale, almost ghostly, and his deep-set eyes shone with an unnatural brightness. After asking about his health, I inquired, not knowing what else to say, if he had received the scarabæus from Lieutenant G——.

“Oh, yes,” he replied, coloring violently, “I got it from him the next morning. Nothing should tempt me to part with that scarabæus. Do you know that Jupiter is quite right about it?”

“Oh, yes,” he replied, blushing deeply, “I got it from him the next morning. Nothing would make me give up that scarabæus. Do you know that Jupiter is absolutely right about it?”

“In what way?” I asked, with a sad foreboding at heart.

“In what way?” I asked, feeling a heavy sense of dread in my chest.

“In supposing it to be a bug of real gold.” He said this with an air of profound seriousness, and I felt inexpressibly shocked.

“In thinking it was a bug of real gold.” He said this with a serious demeanor, and I felt utterly shocked.

“This bug is to make my fortune,” he continued, with a triumphant smile, “to reinstate me in my family possessions. Is it any wonder, then, that I prize it? Since Fortune has thought fit to bestow it upon me, I have only to use it properly and I shall arrive at the gold of which it is the index. Jupiter; bring me that scarabæus!

“This bug is going to make me rich,” he said, with a satisfied grin, “and restore my family's wealth. So, is it any surprise that I value it? Since Fortune has chosen to give it to me, all I need to do is use it wisely, and I’ll achieve the riches it represents. Jupiter, bring me that scarabæus!

“What! de bug, massa? I’d rudder not go fer trubble dat bug—you mus’ git him for your own self.” Hereupon Legrand arose, with a grave and stately air, and brought me the beetle from a glass case in which it was enclosed. It was a beautiful scarabæus, and, at that time, unknown to naturalists—of course a great prize in a scientific point of view. There were two round, black spots near one extremity of the back, and a long one near the other. The scales were exceedingly hard and glossy, with all the appearance of burnished gold. The weight of the insect was very remarkable, and, taking all things into consideration, I could hardly blame Jupiter for his opinion respecting it; but what to make of Legrand’s concordance with that opinion, I could not, for the life of me, tell.

“What! The bug, sir? I’d rather not go for that trouble—you’ll have to get it yourself.” With that, Legrand stood up, looking serious and dignified, and brought me the beetle from a glass case where it was kept. It was a beautiful scarab, and at the time, it was unknown to naturalists—making it a significant find scientifically. There were two round, black spots near one end of its back and a long spot near the other. The scales were incredibly hard and shiny, almost like burnished gold. The weight of the insect was quite notable, and considering everything, I could hardly blame Jupiter for his thoughts about it; but I couldn't figure out why Legrand agreed with that opinion.

“I sent for you,” said he, in a grandiloquent tone, when I had completed my examination of the beetle, “I sent for you, that I might have your counsel and assistance in furthering the views of Fate and of the bug—”

“I called for you,” he said in an exaggerated way when I finished looking at the beetle, “I called for you so I could get your advice and help in advancing the plans of Fate and the bug—”

“My dear Legrand,” I cried, interrupting him, “you are certainly unwell, and had better use some little precautions. You shall go to bed, and I will remain with you a few days, until you get over this. You are feverish and—”

“My dear Legrand,” I exclaimed, cutting him off, “you’re definitely not feeling well, and you should really take some precautions. You need to get some rest, and I’ll stay with you for a few days until you recover. You have a fever and—”

“Feel my pulse,” said he.

“Feel my heartbeat,” he said.

I felt it, and, to say the truth, found not the slightest indication of fever.

I felt it, and honestly, I didn’t find any sign of fever at all.

“But you may be ill and yet have no fever. Allow me this once to prescribe for you. In the first place, go to bed. In the next—”

“But you might be unwell and not have a fever. Let me prescribe for you this one time. First, get some rest. Next—”

“You are mistaken,” he interposed, “I am as well as I can expect to be under the excitement which I suffer. If you really wish me well, you will relieve this excitement.”

“You're wrong,” he interrupted, “I’m as good as I can be given the stress I’m experiencing. If you truly care about me, you’ll help ease this stress.”

“And how is this to be done?”

“And how is this supposed to happen?”

“Very easily. Jupiter and myself are going upon an expedition into the hills, upon the main land, and, in this expedition we shall need the aid of some person in whom we can confide. You are the only one we can trust. Whether we succeed or fail, the excitement which you now perceive in me will be equally allayed.”

“Very easily. Jupiter and I are going on an expedition into the hills on the mainland, and for this trip, we’ll need the help of someone we can trust. You’re the only one we can count on. Regardless of whether we succeed or fail, the excitement you see in me right now will be settled either way.”

“I am anxious to oblige you in any way,” I replied; “but do you mean to say that this infernal beetle has any connection with your expedition into the hills?”

“I’m eager to help you in any way,” I replied; “but are you saying that this awful beetle is somehow related to your trip into the hills?”

“It has.”

"It has."

“Then, Legrand, I can become a party to no such absurd proceeding.”

“Then, Legrand, I can’t be a part of such a ridiculous process.”

“I am sorry—very sorry—for we shall have to try it by ourselves.”

“I’m really sorry—we’ll have to figure this out ourselves.”

“Try it by yourselves! The man is surely mad!—but stay!—how long do you propose to be absent?”

“Try it yourselves! The man is definitely crazy!—but wait!—how long do you plan to be gone?”

“Probably all night. We shall start immediately, and be back, at all events, by sunrise.”

“Probably all night. We’ll start right away and be back, at the latest, by sunrise.”

“And will you promise me, upon your honor, that when this freak of yours is over, and the bug business (good God!) settled to your satisfaction, you will then return home and follow my advice implicitly, as that of your physician?”

“And will you promise me, on your honor, that once this weird situation of yours is over and the bug issue (good God!) is resolved to your satisfaction, you will come back home and follow my advice completely, just like you would your doctor's?”

“Yes; I promise; and now let us be off, for we have no time to lose.”

"Yes, I promise; and now let's get going, because we don't have time to waste."

With a heavy heart I accompanied my friend. We started about four o’clock—Legrand, Jupiter, the dog, and myself. Jupiter had with him the scythe and spades—the whole of which he insisted upon carrying—more through fear, it seemed to me, of trusting either of the implements within reach of his master, than from any excess of industry or complaisance. His demeanor was dogged in the extreme, and “dat deuced bug” were the sole words which escaped his lips during the journey. For my own part, I had charge of a couple of dark lanterns, while Legrand contented himself with the scarabæus, which he carried attached to the end of a bit of whip-cord; twirling it to and fro, with the air of a conjuror, as he went. When I observed this last, plain evidence of my friend’s aberration of mind, I could scarcely refrain from tears. I thought it best, however, to humor his fancy, at least for the present, or until I could adopt some more energetic measures with a chance of success. In the mean time I endeavored, but all in vain, to sound him in regard to the object of the expedition. Having succeeded in inducing me to accompany him, he seemed unwilling to hold conversation upon any topic of minor importance, and to all my questions vouchsafed no other reply than “we shall see!”

With a heavy heart, I set off with my friend. We began around four o'clock—Legrand, Jupiter, the dog, and myself. Jupiter insisted on carrying the scythe and spades all by himself, not so much out of eagerness to work or be helpful, but more because he seemed afraid to let his master have any of the tools. His mood was incredibly sullen, and the only words that left his lips during the journey were, “that cursed bug.” As for me, I was in charge of a couple of dark lanterns, while Legrand was satisfied with the scarabæus, which he carried tied to the end of a piece of whip-cord, swinging it back and forth like a magician. When I saw this clear evidence of my friend's disturbed mind, I could barely hold back tears. However, I figured it was best to indulge his whims for now, at least until I could come up with a more effective plan that had a chance of working. In the meantime, I tried, but without success, to get him to talk about the purpose of our trip. After getting me to join him, he didn’t seem interested in discussing anything less important, and all my questions were met with nothing more than, “we shall see!”

We crossed the creek at the head of the island by means of a skiff, and, ascending the high grounds on the shore of the main land, proceeded in a northwesterly direction, through a tract of country excessively wild and desolate, where no trace of a human footstep was to be seen. Legrand led the way with decision; pausing only for an instant, here and there, to consult what appeared to be certain landmarks of his own contrivance upon a former occasion.

We crossed the creek at the north end of the island using a small boat and, climbing up the high ground on the mainland, headed northwest through a heavily wild and desolate area where there were no signs of human activity. Legrand took the lead confidently, stopping briefly now and then to check what seemed to be some landmarks he had created during a previous visit.

In this manner we journeyed for about two hours, and the sun was just setting when we entered a region infinitely more dreary than any yet seen. It was a species of table land, near the summit of an almost inaccessible hill, densely wooded from base to pinnacle, and interspersed with huge crags that appeared to lie loosely upon the soil, and in many cases were prevented from precipitating themselves into the valleys below, merely by the support of the trees against which they reclined. Deep ravines, in various directions, gave an air of still sterner solemnity to the scene.

We traveled like this for about two hours, and the sun was just setting when we entered a place that was even more depressing than anything we had seen before. It was a kind of plateau near the top of a nearly inaccessible hill, thickly forested from base to peak, and dotted with massive rocks that seemed to be loosely resting on the ground, often held up only by the trees they leaned against. Deep valleys in various directions added to the grave seriousness of the scene.

The natural platform to which we had clambered was thickly overgrown with brambles, through which we soon discovered that it would have been impossible to force our way but for the scythe; and Jupiter, by direction of his master, proceeded to clear for us a path to the foot of an enormously tall tulip-tree, which stood, with some eight or ten oaks, upon the level, and far surpassed them all, and all other trees which I had then ever seen, in the beauty of its foliage and form, in the wide spread of its branches, and in the general majesty of its appearance. When we reached this tree, Legrand turned to Jupiter, and asked him if he thought he could climb it. The old man seemed a little staggered by the question, and for some moments made no reply. At length he approached the huge trunk, walked slowly around it, and examined it with minute attention. When he had completed his scrutiny, he merely said,

The natural platform we had climbed onto was thickly covered with brambles, and we quickly realized that we couldn't have made our way through without the scythe. Following his master's instructions, Jupiter started to clear a path for us to the base of a massive tulip tree, which stood taller than all the nearby oaks and any other trees I'd ever seen, with beautiful leaves and shape, wide branches, and an overall majestic appearance. When we reached this tree, Legrand asked Jupiter if he thought he could climb it. The old man seemed a bit taken aback by the question and paused for a moment before responding. Finally, he walked over to the enormous trunk, circled it slowly, and examined it closely. After finishing his inspection, he simply said,

“Yes, massa, Jup climb any tree he ebber see in he life.”

“Yes, master, Jup can climb any tree he has ever seen in his life.”

“Then up with you as soon as possible, for it will soon be too dark to see what we are about.”

“Then get up as soon as you can, because it will soon be too dark to see what we’re doing.”

“How far mus go up, massa?” inquired Jupiter.

“How far do we have to go, boss?” asked Jupiter.

“Get up the main trunk first, and then I will tell you which way to go—and here—stop! take this beetle with you.”

“Climb up the main trunk first, and then I’ll tell you which way to go—and wait—take this beetle with you.”

“De bug, Massa Will!—de goole-bug!” cried the negro, drawing back in dismay—“what for mus tote de bug way up de tree?—d—n if I do!”

“Hey boss, it’s the bug, the goole-bug!” shouted the black man, recoiling in fear—“why do I have to carry the bug all the way up the tree? No way am I doing that!”

“If you are afraid, Jup, a great big negro like you, to take hold of a harmless little dead beetle, why you can carry it up by this string—but, if you do not take it up with you in some way, I shall be under the necessity of breaking your head with this shovel.”

“If you’re scared, Jup, a big guy like you, to pick up a harmless little dead beetle, you can carry it up by this string—but if you don’t take it with you somehow, I’ll have to crack your head open with this shovel.”

“What de matter now, massa?” said Jup, evidently shamed into compliance; “always want for to raise fuss wid old nigger. Was only funnin any how. Me feered de bug! what I keer for de bug?” Here he took cautiously hold of the extreme end of the string, and, maintaining the insect as far from his person as circumstances would permit, prepared to ascend the tree.

“What’s the matter now, boss?” Jup said, clearly feeling embarrassed but going along with it; “always wanting to cause a fuss with the old black man. I was just joking anyway. I was scared of the bug! What do I care about the bug?” He then carefully grabbed the very end of the string and, keeping the insect as far from himself as he could manage, got ready to climb the tree.

In youth, the tulip-tree, or Liriodendron Tulipferum, the most magnificent of American foresters, has a trunk peculiarly smooth, and often rises to a great height without lateral branches; but, in its riper age, the bark becomes gnarled and uneven, while many short limbs make their appearance on the stem. Thus the difficulty of ascension, in the present case, lay more in semblance than in reality. Embracing the huge cylinder, as closely as possible, with his arms and knees, seizing with his hands some projections, and resting his naked toes upon others, Jupiter, after one or two narrow escapes from falling, at length wriggled himself into the first great fork, and seemed to consider the whole business as virtually accomplished. The risk of the achievement was, in fact, now over, although the climber was some sixty or seventy feet from the ground.

In its youth, the tulip tree, or Liriodendron Tulipferum, the most impressive of American trees, has a uniquely smooth trunk and often grows to a great height without side branches. However, as it matures, the bark becomes twisted and uneven, and many short limbs start to show on the trunk. So, the challenge of climbing, in this case, was more about appearance than reality. Wrapping his arms and knees tightly around the massive trunk, grabbing onto some jutting bits with his hands, and resting his bare toes on others, Jupiter, after a couple of close calls with falling, finally managed to wiggle into the first large fork and felt that the hardest part was basically done. The danger of climbing was really over now, even though he was still about sixty or seventy feet above the ground.

“Which way mus go now, Massa Will?” he asked.

“Which way should we go now, Master Will?” he asked.

“Keep up the largest branch—the one on this side,” said Legrand. The negro obeyed him promptly, and apparently with but little trouble; ascending higher and higher, until no glimpse of his squat figure could be obtained through the dense foliage which enveloped it. Presently his voice was heard in a sort of halloo.

“Keep the biggest branch—the one on this side,” Legrand said. The black obeyed him immediately, and it seemed to take very little effort; climbing higher and higher, until his squat figure was completely hidden by the thick foliage surrounding it. Soon, his voice was heard calling out.

“How much fudder is got for go?”

“How much food is available for the journey?”

“How high up are you?” asked Legrand.

“How high up are you?” Legrand asked.

“Ebber so fur,” replied the negro; “can see de sky fru de top ob de tree.”

“Ever so far,” replied the black; “can see the sky through the top of the tree.”

“Never mind the sky, but attend to what I say. Look down the trunk and count the limbs below you on this side. How many limbs have you passed?”

“Forget about the sky and listen to what I’m saying. Look down the trunk and count the branches below you on this side. How many branches have you passed?”

“One, two, tree, four, fibe—I done pass fibe big limb, massa, pon dis side.”

“One, two, three, four, five—I passed five big limbs, sir, on this side.”

“Then go one limb higher.”

“Then go one step higher.”

In a few minutes the voice was heard again, announcing that the seventh limb was attained.

In a few minutes, the voice was heard again, announcing that the seventh limb had been reached.

“Now, Jup,” cried Legrand, evidently much excited, “I want you to work your way out upon that limb as far as you can. If you see anything strange, let me know.” By this time what little doubt I might have entertained of my poor friend’s insanity, was put finally at rest. I had no alternative but to conclude him stricken with lunacy, and I became seriously anxious about getting him home. While I was pondering upon what was best to be done, Jupiter’s voice was again heard.

“Now, Jup,” shouted Legrand, clearly very excited, “I need you to climb out on that branch as far as you can. If you see anything unusual, let me know.” By this point, any doubt I had about my poor friend’s sanity was completely gone. I had no choice but to believe he was out of his mind, and I became genuinely worried about getting him home. While I was thinking about what to do next, I heard Jupiter’s voice again.

“Mos feerd for to ventur pon dis limb berry far—’tis dead limb putty much all de way.”

“Most fear to venture on this limb very far—it’s a dead limb pretty much all the way.”

“Did you say it was a dead limb, Jupiter?” cried Legrand in a quavering voice.

“Did you say it was a dead branch, Jupiter?” shouted Legrand in a shaky voice.

“Yes, massa, him dead as de door-nail—done up for sartain—done departed dis here life.”

“Yes, sir, he’s dead as a doornail—definitely gone—left this life for sure.”

“What in the name heaven shall I do?” asked Legrand, seemingly in the greatest distress.

“What on earth am I going to do?” asked Legrand, appearing to be in the greatest distress.

“Do!” said I, glad of an opportunity to interpose a word, “why come home and go to bed. Come now!—that’s a fine fellow. It’s getting late, and, besides, you remember your promise.”

“Do!” I said, happy to jump in with a word, “Why not come home and go to bed? Come on!—that’s a good guy. It’s getting late, and besides, you remember your promise.”

“Jupiter,” cried he, without heeding me in the least, “do you hear me?”

“Jupiter,” he shouted, completely ignoring me, “do you hear me?”

“Yes, Massa Will, hear you ebber so plain.”

“Yes, Master Will, I can hear you very clearly.”

“Try the wood well, then, with your knife, and see if you think it very rotten.”

“Check the wood with your knife and see if you think it’s really rotten.”

“Him rotten, massa, sure nuff,” replied the negro in a few moments, “but not so berry rotten as mought be. Mought ventur out leetle way pon de limb by myself, dat’s true.”

"Him rotten, boss, for sure," replied the man after a moment, "but not as totally rotten as it could be. I might venture out a little way on the limb by myself, that's true."

“By yourself!—what do you mean?”

“By yourself!—what are you saying?”

“Why I mean de bug. ’Tis berry hebby bug. Spose I drop him down fuss, and den de limb won’t break wid just de weight ob one nigger.”

“Why I mean the bug. It’s a really heavy bug. Suppose I drop him down first, and then the limb won’t break with just the weight of one black.”

“You infernal scoundrel!” cried Legrand, apparently much relieved, “what do you mean by telling me such nonsense as that? As sure as you drop that beetle I’ll break your neck. Look here, Jupiter, do you hear me?”

“You complete scoundrel!” shouted Legrand, looking pretty relieved, “what do you mean by telling me such nonsense? I swear, if you drop that beetle, I’ll break your neck. Listen up, Jupiter, do you hear me?”

“Yes, massa, needn’t hollo at poor nigger dat style.”

“Yes, sir, no need to yell at that poor black person like that.”

“Well! now listen!—if you will venture out on the limb as far as you think safe, and not let go the beetle, I’ll make you a present of a silver dollar as soon as you get down.”

“Well! Now listen!—if you’re willing to climb out on the limb as far as you think is safe, and you don’t let go of the beetle, I’ll give you a silver dollar as soon as you get down.”

“I’m gwine, Massa Will—deed I is,” replied the negro very promptly—“mos out to the eend now.”

“I’m going, Master Will—truly I am,” replied the black very promptly—“almost to the end now.”

Out to the end!” here fairly screamed Legrand, “do you say you are out to the end of that limb?”

Out to the end!” Legrand yelled, “are you saying you’re out to the end of that branch?”

“Soon be to de eend, massa,—o-o-o-o-oh! Lor-gol-a-marcy! what is dis here pon de tree?”

“Soon be to the end, master,—o-o-o-o-oh! Goodness gracious! What is this here on the tree?”

“Well!” cried Legrand, highly delighted, “what is it?”

“Well!” shouted Legrand, extremely excited, “what is it?”

“Why taint noffin but a skull—somebody bin lef him head up de tree, and de crows done gobble ebery bit ob de meat off.”

“Why is there nothing but a skull—someone left his head up the tree, and the crows have eaten every bit of the meat off.”

“A skull, you say!—very well—how is it fastened to the limb?—what holds it on?”

“A skull, you say!—alright—how is it attached to the limb?—what keeps it in place?”

“Sure nuff, massa; mus look. Why dis berry curous sarcumstance, pon my word—dare’s a great big nail in de skull, what fastens ob it on to de tree.”

“Sure enough, master; must look. Why this very curious circumstance, I swear—there’s a huge nail in the skull, which fastens it onto the tree.”

“Well now, Jupiter, do exactly as I tell you—do you hear?”

“Well now, Jupiter, just do exactly what I say—got it?”

“Yes, massa.”

“Yes, master.”

“Pay attention, then—find the left eye of the skull.”

“Pay attention, then—find the left eye of the skull.”

“Hum! hoo! dat’s good! why dare aint no eye lef at all.”

“Hmm! Oh! That’s good! Why isn’t there even an eye left at all?”

“Curse your stupidity! do you know your right hand from your left?”

“Curse your stupidity! Do you know your right hand from your left?”

“Yes, I knows dat—knows all about dat—’tis my lef hand what I chops de wood wid.”

“Yeah, I know that—I know all about it—it’s my left hand that I chop the wood with.”

“To be sure! you are left-handed; and your left eye is on the same side as your left hand. Now, I suppose, you can find the left eye of the skull, or the place where the left eye has been. Have you found it?”

“To be sure! You’re left-handed; and your left eye is on the same side as your left hand. Now, I guess you can find the left eye of the skull, or the spot where the left eye used to be. Have you found it?”

Here was a long pause. At length the negro asked,

Here was a long pause. Finally, the black guy asked,

“Is de lef eye of de skull pon de same side as de lef hand of de skull, too?—cause de skull aint got not a bit ob a hand at all—nebber mind! I got de lef eye now—here de lef eye! what mus do wid it?”

“Is the left eye of the skull on the same side as the left hand of the skull, too?—because the skull doesn't have a hand at all—never mind! I have the left eye now—here's the left eye! What should I do with it?”

“Let the beetle drop through it, as far as the string will reach—but be careful and not let go your hold of the string.”

“Let the beetle drop through it as far as the string will reach—but be careful not to let go of the string.”

“All dat done, Massa Will; mighty easy ting for to put de bug fru de hole—look out for him dare below!”

“All that’s done, Master Will; it’s really easy to push the bug through the hole—watch out for him down there!”

During this colloquy no portion of Jupiter’s person could be seen; but the beetle, which he had suffered to descend, was now visible at the end of the string, and glistened, like a globe of burnished gold, in the last rays of the setting sun, some of which still faintly illumined the eminence upon which we stood. The scarabæus hung quite clear of any branches, and, if allowed to fall, would have fallen at our feet. Legrand immediately took the scythe, and cleared with it a circular space, three or four yards in diameter, just beneath the insect, and, having accomplished this, ordered Jupiter to let go the string and come down from the tree.

During this conversation, we couldn’t see any part of Jupiter, but the beetle he had let drop was now visible at the end of the string, shining like a polished gold globe in the last rays of the setting sun, some of which still dimly illuminated the hill we were standing on. The scarabæus hung clear of any branches, and if it fell, it would have landed at our feet. Legrand quickly took the scythe and cleared a circular area about three or four yards in diameter directly beneath the insect, and once he finished that, he told Jupiter to let go of the string and come down from the tree.

Driving a peg, with great nicety, into the ground, at the precise spot where the beetle fell, my friend now produced from his pocket a tape measure. Fastening one end of this at that point of the trunk, of the tree which was nearest the peg, he unrolled it till it reached the peg, and thence farther unrolled it, in the direction already established by the two points of the tree and the peg, for the distance of fifty feet—Jupiter clearing away the brambles with the scythe. At the spot thus attained a second peg was driven, and about this, as a centre, a rude circle, about four feet in diameter, described. Taking now a spade himself, and giving one to Jupiter and one to me, Legrand begged us to set about digging as quickly as possible.

Driving a peg carefully into the ground at the exact spot where the beetle fell, my friend then pulled out a tape measure from his pocket. He secured one end at the nearest point on the tree trunk to the peg and stretched it out to reach the peg. From there, he continued to unroll it in the direction already established by the two points—the tree and the peg—extending it fifty feet, while Jupiter cleared away the brambles with a scythe. At the location reached, a second peg was driven in, and around it, a rough circle about four feet in diameter was marked. Now taking a spade for himself and handing one to Jupiter and one to me, Legrand urged us to start digging as quickly as possible.

To speak the truth, I had no especial relish for such amusement at any time, and, at that particular moment, would most willingly have declined it; for the night was coming on, and I felt much fatigued with the exercise already taken; but I saw no mode of escape, and was fearful of disturbing my poor friend’s equanimity by a refusal. Could I have depended, indeed, upon Jupiter’s aid, I would have had no hesitation in attempting to get the lunatic home by force; but I was too well assured of the old negro’s disposition, to hope that he would assist me, under any circumstances, in a personal contest with his master. I made no doubt that the latter had been infected with some of the innumerable Southern superstitions about money buried, and that his phantasy had received confirmation by the finding of the scarabæus, or, perhaps, by Jupiter’s obstinacy in maintaining it to be “a bug of real gold.” A mind disposed to lunacy would readily be led away by such suggestions—especially if chiming in with favorite preconceived ideas—and then I called to mind the poor fellow’s speech about the beetle’s being “the index of his fortune.” Upon the whole, I was sadly vexed and puzzled, but, at length, I concluded to make a virtue of necessity—to dig with a good will, and thus the sooner to convince the visionary, by ocular demonstration, of the fallacy of the opinions he entertained.

To be honest, I wasn’t really into that kind of amusement at any time, and at that moment, I would have gladly passed on it; the night was approaching, and I felt pretty tired from the exertion I had already done. But I saw no way to get out of it and was worried about upsetting my poor friend's calmness by saying no. If I could have counted on Jupiter’s help, I would have had no hesitation in trying to physically get the crazy guy home. But I knew too well that the old man wouldn’t help me under any circumstances in a showdown with his master. I had no doubt that the latter had fallen for some of the countless Southern superstitions about buried treasure, and that his fantasy was fueled by the discovery of the scarabæus, or maybe by Jupiter’s insistence that it was “a bug of real gold.” A mind already inclined to madness could easily be swayed by such ideas—especially if they matched his favorite beliefs. Then I remembered the poor guy’s talk about the beetle being “the sign of his fortune.” Overall, I was really frustrated and confused, but eventually, I decided to make the best of a tough situation—to dig with enthusiasm, and thus quickly show the dreamer, through visual proof, that his beliefs were mistaken.

The lanterns having been lit, we all fell to work with a zeal worthy a more rational cause; and, as the glare fell upon our persons and implements, I could not help thinking how picturesque a group we composed, and how strange and suspicious our labors must have appeared to any interloper who, by chance, might have stumbled upon our whereabouts.

The lanterns were lit, and we all got to work with an enthusiasm that deserved a better reason; and, as the light shone on us and our tools, I couldn’t help but think how picturesque our group looked, and how odd and suspicious our activities must have seemed to anyone who might have accidentally come across us.

We dug very steadily for two hours. Little was said; and our chief embarrassment lay in the yelpings of the dog, who took exceeding interest in our proceedings. He, at length, became so obstreperous that we grew fearful of his giving the alarm to some stragglers in the vicinity—or, rather, this was the apprehension of Legrand;—for myself, I should have rejoiced at any interruption which might have enabled me to get the wanderer home. The noise was, at length, very effectually silenced by Jupiter, who, getting out of the hole with a dogged air of deliberation, tied the brute’s mouth up with one of his suspenders, and then returned, with a grave chuckle, to his task.

We dug steadily for two hours. Not much was said, and our main problem was the dog, who was really interested in what we were doing. He eventually became so loud that we worried he might alert some passersby nearby—or, more accurately, Legrand was worried about that; as for me, I would have welcomed any interruption that could have helped me get the dog home. Eventually, the noise was effectively silenced by Jupiter, who, with a determined look, tied the dog’s mouth shut with one of his suspenders and then returned to his work, chuckling seriously.

When the time mentioned had expired, we had reached a depth of five feet, and yet no signs of any treasure became manifest. A general pause ensued, and I began to hope that the farce was at an end. Legrand, however, although evidently much disconcerted, wiped his brow thoughtfully and recommenced. We had excavated the entire circle of four feet diameter, and now we slightly enlarged the limit, and went to the farther depth of two feet. Still nothing appeared. The gold-seeker, whom I sincerely pitied, at length clambered from the pit, with the bitterest disappointment imprinted upon every feature, and proceeded, slowly and reluctantly, to put on his coat, which he had thrown off at the beginning of his labor. In the mean time I made no remark. Jupiter, at a signal from his master, began to gather up his tools. This done, and the dog having been unmuzzled, we turned in profound silence towards home.

When the time had passed, we had dug down to a depth of five feet, but still, there were no signs of any treasure. We paused for a moment, and I started to hope that this charade was finally over. Legrand, however, despite looking very unsettled, wiped his brow thoughtfully and continued. We had dug out the whole four-foot diameter circle, and now we slightly expanded our digging to go another two feet deeper. Still, nothing showed up. The gold-seeker, whom I truly felt sorry for, finally climbed out of the pit, disappointment evident on his face, and slowly, reluctantly put on the coat he had taken off at the start of his digging. I remained silent in the meantime. Jupiter, at a signal from his master, began to gather his tools. Once that was done, and the dog had been unmuzzled, we walked home in deep silence.

We had taken, perhaps, a dozen steps in this direction, when, with a loud oath, Legrand strode up to Jupiter, and seized him by the collar. The astonished negro opened his eyes and mouth to the fullest extent, let fall the spades, and fell upon his knees.

We had probably taken about a dozen steps in this direction when, with a loud curse, Legrand marched up to Jupiter and grabbed him by the collar. The shocked guy’s eyes and mouth widened, he dropped the shovels, and dropped to his knees.

“You scoundrel,” said Legrand, hissing out the syllables from between his clenched teeth—“you infernal black villain!—speak, I tell you!—answer me this instant, without prevarication!—which—which is your left eye?”

“You scoundrel,” Legrand said, hissing the words between his clenched teeth—“you horrible black villain!—speak, I tell you!—answer me right now, no lies!—which—which is your left eye?”

“Oh, my golly, Massa Will! aint dis here my lef eye for sartain?” roared the terrified Jupiter, placing his hand upon his right organ of vision, and holding it there with a desperate pertinacity, as if in immediate dread of his master’s attempt at a gouge.

“Oh my gosh, Master Will! Is this really my left eye for sure?” shouted the scared Jupiter, putting his hand over his right eye and keeping it there with a desperate determination, as if he feared his master might try to gouge it out.

“I thought so!—I knew it! hurrah!” vociferated Legrand, letting the negro go, and executing a series of curvets and caracols, much to the astonishment of his valet, who, arising from his knees, looked, mutely, from his master to myself, and then from myself to his master.

“I knew it! I knew it! Yes!” shouted Legrand, releasing the black and doing a series of leaps and spins, much to the surprise of his servant, who, getting up from his knees, silently looked from his master to me, and then from me back to his master.

“Come! we must go back,” said the latter, “the game’s not up yet;” and he again led the way to the tulip-tree.

“Come on! We need to head back,” said the other, “the game isn’t over yet;” and he once more took the lead to the tulip tree.

“Jupiter,” said he, when we reached its foot, “come here! was the skull nailed to the limb with the face outwards, or with the face to the limb?”

“Jupiter,” he said when we got to its base, “come here! Was the skull nailed to the branch with the face out or with the face towards the branch?”

“De face was out, massa, so dat de crows could get at de eyes good, widout any trouble.”

“His face was gone, boss, so the crows could get to the eyes easily, without any trouble.”

“Well, then, was it this eye or that through which you dropped the beetle?”—here Legrand touched each of Jupiter’s eyes.

“Well, was it this eye or that one through which you dropped the beetle?”—here Legrand touched each of Jupiter’s eyes.

“’Twas dis eye, massa—de lef eye—jis as you tell me,” and here it was his right eye that the negro indicated.

“It's this eye, sir—the left eye—just like you told me,” and here it was his right eye that the black indicated.

“That will do—we must try it again.”

"That’s enough—we need to give it another shot."

Here my friend, about whose madness I now saw, or fancied that I saw, certain indications of method, removed the peg which marked the spot where the beetle fell, to a spot about three inches to the westward of its former position. Taking, now, the tape measure from the nearest point of the trunk to the peg, as before, and continuing the extension in a straight line to the distance of fifty feet, a spot was indicated, removed, by several yards, from the point at which we had been digging.

Here, my friend, whose madness I now noticed, or thought I noticed, had removed the peg that marked where the beetle fell, shifting it about three inches to the west of its original position. He then took a tape measure from the nearest point of the trunk to the peg again and extended it in a straight line for fifty feet. This indicated a spot that was several yards away from where we had been digging.

Around the new position a circle, somewhat larger than in the former instance, was now described, and we again set to work with the spades. I was dreadfully weary, but, scarcely understanding what had occasioned the change in my thoughts, I felt no longer any great aversion from the labor imposed. I had become most unaccountably interested—nay, even excited. Perhaps there was something, amid all the extravagant demeanor of Legrand—some air of forethought, or of deliberation, which impressed me. I dug eagerly, and now and then caught myself actually looking, with something that very much resembled expectation, for the fancied treasure, the vision of which had demented my unfortunate companion. At a period when such vagaries of thought most fully possessed me, and when we had been at work perhaps an hour and a half, we were again interrupted by the violent howlings of the dog. His uneasiness, in the first instance, had been, evidently, but the result of playfulness or caprice, but he now assumed a bitter and serious tone. Upon Jupiter’s again attempting to muzzle him, he made furious resistance, and, leaping into the hole, tore up the mould frantically with his claws. In a few seconds he had uncovered a mass of human bones, forming two complete skeletons, intermingled with several buttons of metal, and what appeared to be the dust of decayed woollen. One or two strokes of a spade upturned the blade of a large Spanish knife, and, as we dug farther, three or four loose pieces of gold and silver coin came to light.

Around the new spot, we drew a circle that was a bit larger than before, and we went back to work with the shovels. I was really tired, but without fully understanding why my thoughts had changed, I no longer felt a strong dislike for the task at hand. I had become strangely interested—even excited. Maybe it was something about Legrand's over-the-top attitude—some sense of thoughtfulness or carefulness—that caught my attention. I dug eagerly, and occasionally found myself actually looking, with something resembling anticipation, for the imagined treasure that had driven my unfortunate friend mad. Just when those fanciful thoughts consumed me, and after we had been working for about an hour and a half, we were again interrupted by the dog's loud howling. At first, his unease seemed to be just playful or random, but now he seemed genuinely upset. When Jupiter tried to calm him again, he fought back fiercely, jumping into the hole and frantically digging up the dirt with his claws. In a few moments, he had uncovered a pile of human bones, forming two complete skeletons, mixed with several metal buttons and what looked like the dust from decayed wool. A couple of strikes with a shovel revealed the blade of a large Spanish knife, and as we dug deeper, a few loose gold and silver coins came to light.

At sight of these the joy of Jupiter could scarcely be restrained, but the countenance of his master wore an air of extreme disappointment. He urged us, however, to continue our exertions, and the words were hardly uttered when I stumbled and fell forward, having caught the toe of my boot in a large ring of iron that lay half buried in the loose earth.

At the sight of these, Jupiter's joy was barely contained, but his master looked extremely disappointed. He encouraged us to keep working, and just as he finished speaking, I tripped and fell forward, having caught the toe of my boot in a large iron ring that was half-buried in the loose dirt.

We now worked in earnest, and never did I pass ten minutes of more intense excitement. During this interval we had fairly unearthed an oblong chest of wood, which, from its perfect preservation and wonderful hardness, had plainly been subjected to some mineralizing process—perhaps that of the bi-chloride of mercury. This box was three feet and a half long, three feet broad, and two and a half feet deep. It was firmly secured by bands of wrought iron, riveted, and forming a kind of open trelliswork over the whole. On each side of the chest, near the top, were three rings of iron—six in all—by means of which a firm hold could be obtained by six persons. Our utmost united endeavors served only to disturb the coffer very slightly in its bed. We at once saw the impossibility of removing so great a weight. Luckily, the sole fastenings of the lid consisted of two sliding bolts. These we drew back—trembling and panting with anxiety. In an instant, a treasure of incalculable value lay gleaming before us. As the rays of the lanterns fell within the pit, there flashed upwards a glow and a glare, from a confused heap of gold and of jewels, that absolutely dazzled our eyes.

We now worked diligently, and I had never felt so much excitement in just ten minutes. During this time, we had uncovered a long wooden chest, which, due to its excellent preservation and incredible hardness, clearly underwent some mineralizing process—possibly involving bi-chloride of mercury. The box measured three and a half feet long, three feet wide, and two and a half feet deep. It was securely fastened with bands of wrought iron, riveted together in a sort of open trelliswork over the whole surface. On each side of the chest, near the top, were three iron rings—six in total—that allowed for a strong grip by six people. Despite our combined efforts, we could only move the chest slightly from its position. We quickly realized how impossible it was to lift such a heavy object. Fortunately, the only fastenings on the lid were two sliding bolts. We pulled them back, trembling and breathing heavily with anxiety. In an instant, a treasure of unimaginable value lay shimmering before us. As the lanterns' light fell into the pit, a brilliant glow and sparkle emanated from a tangled heap of gold and jewels that completely blinded us.

I shall not pretend to describe the feelings with which I gazed. Amazement was, of course, predominant. Legrand appeared exhausted with excitement, and spoke very few words. Jupiter’s countenance wore, for some minutes, as deadly a pallor as it is possible, in nature of things, for any negro’s visage to assume. He seemed stupefied—thunderstricken. Presently he fell upon his knees in the pit, and, burying his naked arms up to the elbows in gold, let them there remain, as if enjoying the luxury of a bath. At length, with a deep sigh, he exclaimed, as if in a soliloquy:

I won't try to describe the feelings I had while I was looking. Amazement was definitely the main one. Legrand seemed worn out from excitement and said very few words. Jupiter's face was as white as it could possibly be for any Black person's face. He looked stunned—like he was hit by lightning. Eventually, he fell to his knees in the pit, buried his bare arms up to the elbows in gold, and just stayed there, as if he was enjoying a bath. Finally, with a deep sigh, he exclaimed, as if talking to himself:

“And dis all cum ob de goole-bug! de putty goole-bug! de poor little goole-bug, what I boosed in dat sabage kind ob style! Aint you shamed ob yourself, nigger?—answer me dat!”

“And this all comes from the goole-bug! The pretty goole-bug! The poor little goole-bug, which I boosted in that savage kind of style! Aren't you ashamed of yourself, black?—answer me that!”

It became necessary, at last, that I should arouse both master and valet to the expediency of removing the treasure. It was growing late, and it behooved us to make exertion, that we might get every thing housed before daylight. It was difficult to say what should be done, and much time was spent in deliberation—so confused were the ideas of all. We, finally, lightened the box by removing two thirds of its contents, when we were enabled, with some trouble, to raise it from the hole. The articles taken out were deposited among the brambles, and the dog left to guard them, with strict orders from Jupiter neither, upon any pretence, to stir from the spot, nor to open his mouth until our return. We then hurriedly made for home with the chest; reaching the hut in safety, but after excessive toil, at one o’clock in the morning. Worn out as we were, it was not in human nature to do more immediately. We rested until two, and had supper; starting for the hills immediately afterwards, armed with three stout sacks, which, by good luck, were upon the premises. A little before four we arrived at the pit, divided the remainder of the booty, as equally as might be, among us, and, leaving the holes unfilled, again set out for the hut, at which, for the second time, we deposited our golden burthens, just as the first faint streaks of the dawn gleamed from over the tree-tops in the East.

It finally became necessary for me to get both the master and the valet to see that we needed to remove the treasure. It was getting late, and we had to work quickly to get everything secured before dawn. It was hard to decide what to do, and we spent a lot of time discussing it—everyone's thoughts were so jumbled. Eventually, we lightened the box by taking out two-thirds of its contents, which allowed us, after some effort, to lift it out of the hole. We left the removed items among the brambles and told the dog to guard them, giving strict instructions from Jupiter not to leave the spot or make a sound until we got back. We then rushed home with the chest, reaching the hut safely but exhausted, at one o’clock in the morning. Despite how tired we were, it was impossible to do anything more right then. We rested until two and had supper; then we set out for the hills right after, armed with three sturdy sacks, which, luckily, were on the property. A little before four, we reached the pit, divided the remaining treasure as evenly as possible among us, and left the holes unfilled as we headed back to the hut, where we dropped off our golden loads just as the first light of dawn appeared over the tree-tops in the East.

We were now thoroughly broken down; but the intense excitement of the time denied us repose. After an unquiet slumber of some three or four hours’ duration, we arose, as if by preconcert, to make examination of our treasure.

We were completely worn out; yet the intense excitement of the moment kept us from resting. After a restless sleep of about three or four hours, we got up, as if it had been planned, to check our treasure.

The chest had been full to the brim, and we spent the whole day, and the greater part of the next night, in a scrutiny of its contents. There had been nothing like order or arrangement. Every thing had been heaped in promiscuously. Having assorted all with care, we found ourselves possessed of even vaster wealth than we had at first supposed. In coin there was rather more than four hundred and fifty thousand dollars—estimating the value of the pieces, as accurately as we could, by the tables of the period. There was not a particle of silver. All was gold of antique date and of great variety—French, Spanish, and German money, with a few English guineas, and some counters, of which we had never seen specimens before. There were several very large and heavy coins, so worn that we could make nothing of their inscriptions. There was no American money. The value of the jewels we found more difficulty in estimating. There were diamonds—some of them exceedingly large and fine—a hundred and ten in all, and not one of them small; eighteen rubies of remarkable brilliancy;—three hundred and ten emeralds, all very beautiful; and twenty-one sapphires, with an opal. These stones had all been broken from their settings and thrown loose in the chest. The settings themselves, which we picked out from among the other gold, appeared to have been beaten up with hammers, as if to prevent identification. Besides all this, there was a vast quantity of solid gold ornaments; nearly two hundred massive finger and earrings; rich chains—thirty of these, if I remember; eighty-three very large and heavy crucifixes; five gold censers of great value; a prodigious golden punch bowl, ornamented with richly chased vine-leaves and Bacchanalian figures; with two sword-handles exquisitely embossed, and many other smaller articles which I cannot recollect. The weight of these valuables exceeded three hundred and fifty pounds avoirdupois; and in this estimate I have not included one hundred and ninety-seven superb gold watches; three of the number being worth each five hundred dollars, if one. Many of them were very old, and as timekeepers valueless; the works having suffered, more or less, from corrosion—but all were richly jewelled and in cases of great worth. We estimated the entire contents of the chest, that night, at a million and a half of dollars; and upon the subsequent disposal of the trinkets and jewels (a few being retained for our own use), it was found that we had greatly undervalued the treasure.

The chest was packed to the top, and we spent the whole day and most of the next night examining what was inside. There was no order or organization at all. Everything was just piled in without any thought. After carefully sorting through it all, we discovered we had even more wealth than we initially thought. In coins, there was actually over four hundred and fifty thousand dollars—estimating the value of the pieces as accurately as we could based on the tables from that time. There wasn’t a single piece of silver. Everything was gold, old-fashioned, and varied—French, Spanish, and German coins, along with a few English guineas and some tokens we’d never seen before. There were several very large and heavy coins, so worn that we couldn’t make out their inscriptions. There was no American money. We had a harder time estimating the value of the jewels. We found diamonds—some exceptionally large and fine—totaling one hundred and ten, none of which were small; eighteen incredibly brilliant rubies; three hundred and ten beautiful emeralds; and twenty-one sapphires, plus one opal. All these stones had been broken from their settings and were just tossed loose in the chest. The settings we pulled out from among the gold appeared to have been smashed with hammers to prevent any identification. On top of all this, there was a huge amount of solid gold jewelry; nearly two hundred massive rings and earrings; rich chains—around thirty, if I remember correctly; eighty-three very large and heavy crucifixes; five valuable gold censers; a massive golden punch bowl adorned with intricately designed vine leaves and Bacchanalian figures; two sword handles beautifully embossed; and many other smaller items I can’t recall. The total weight of these valuables exceeded three hundred and fifty pounds; and this estimate doesn’t even include one hundred and ninety-seven exquisite gold watches, three of which were worth five hundred dollars each, if not more. Many of them were quite old and worthless as timekeepers, their mechanisms having suffered from corrosion, but all were richly jeweled and in valuable cases. That night, we estimated the entire contents of the chest at one and a half million dollars; and when we later sold the trinkets and jewels (keeping a few for ourselves), we realized we had seriously undervalued the treasure.

When, at length, we had concluded our examination, and the intense excitement of the time had, in some measure, subsided, Legrand, who saw that I was dying with impatience for a solution of this most extraordinary riddle, entered into a full detail of all the circumstances connected with it.

When we finally finished our investigation and the intense excitement started to settle down a bit, Legrand, noticing my eagerness for an answer to this amazing puzzle, gave me a complete rundown of all the details related to it.

“You remember;” said he, “the night when I handed you the rough sketch I had made of the scarabæus. You recollect also, that I became quite vexed at you for insisting that my drawing resembled a death’s-head. When you first made this assertion I thought you were jesting; but afterwards I called to mind the peculiar spots on the back of the insect, and admitted to myself that your remark had some little foundation in fact. Still, the sneer at my graphic powers irritated me—for I am considered a good artist—and, therefore, when you handed me the scrap of parchment, I was about to crumple it up and throw it angrily into the fire.”

“You remember,” he said, “the night when I gave you the rough sketch I made of the scarabæus? You also remember how annoyed I got at you for claiming that my drawing looked like a skull. When you first said that, I thought you were joking, but later I remembered the unique spots on the back of the insect and had to admit that your comment had a bit of truth to it. Still, your mockery of my drawing skills really bothered me—I'm considered a good artist—so when you handed me that piece of parchment, I almost crumpled it up and angrily tossed it into the fire.”

“The scrap of paper, you mean,” said I.

“The piece of paper, you mean,” I said.

“No; it had much of the appearance of paper, and at first I supposed it to be such, but when I came to draw upon it, I discovered it, at once, to be a piece of very thin parchment. It was quite dirty, you remember. Well, as I was in the very act of crumpling it up, my glance fell upon the sketch at which you had been looking, and you may imagine my astonishment when I perceived, in fact, the figure of a death’s-head just where, it seemed to me, I had made the drawing of the beetle. For a moment I was too much amazed to think with accuracy. I knew that my design was very different in detail from this—although there was a certain similarity in general outline. Presently I took a candle, and seating myself at the other end of the room, proceeded to scrutinize the parchment more closely. Upon turning it over, I saw my own sketch upon the reverse, just as I had made it. My first idea, now, was mere surprise at the really remarkable similarity of outline—at the singular coincidence involved in the fact, that unknown to me, there should have been a skull upon the other side of the parchment, immediately beneath my figure of the scarabæus, and that this skull, not only in outline, but in size, should so closely resemble my drawing. I say the singularity of this coincidence absolutely stupefied me for a time. This is the usual effect of such coincidences. The mind struggles to establish a connexion—a sequence of cause and effect—and, being unable to do so, suffers a species of temporary paralysis. But, when I recovered from this stupor, there dawned upon me gradually a conviction which startled me even far more than the coincidence. I began distinctly, positively, to remember that there had been no drawing upon the parchment when I made my sketch of the scarabæus. I became perfectly certain of this; for I recollected turning up first one side and then the other, in search of the cleanest spot. Had the skull been then there, of course I could not have failed to notice it. Here was indeed a mystery which I felt it impossible to explain; but, even at that early moment, there seemed to glimmer, faintly, within the most remote and secret chambers of my intellect, a glow-worm-like conception of that truth which last night’s adventure brought to so magnificent a demonstration. I arose at once, and putting the parchment securely away, dismissed all farther reflection until I should be alone.

“No; it looked a lot like paper, and at first, I thought it was, but when I tried to write on it, I immediately realized it was a piece of very thin parchment. It was quite dirty, as you remember. Just as I was about to crumple it up, I noticed the sketch you had been looking at, and you can imagine my shock when I saw the figure of a skull right where I had drawn the beetle. For a moment, I was too stunned to think clearly. I knew my drawing was quite different in detail from this one—though there was a certain similarity in the overall shape. Eventually, I took a candle and sat at the other end of the room to examine the parchment more closely. When I flipped it over, I saw my own sketch on the back, just as I had drawn it. My first thought was pure surprise at the remarkable similarity in outline—at the strange coincidence that, unbeknownst to me, there had been a skull on the other side of the parchment, directly beneath my picture of the beetle, and that this skull not only matched in outline but also closely in size. I was completely baffled by this coincidence for a moment. That’s usually how these things work. The mind tries to make a connection—a cause-and-effect sequence—and when it can’t, it experiences a kind of temporary paralysis. But once I broke out of that shock, I began to remember something that startled me even more than the coincidence. I clearly remembered that there had been no drawing on the parchment when I sketched the beetle. I was absolutely sure of it because I recalled flipping it over first one side and then the other, looking for the cleanest spot. If the skull had been there, I definitely would have noticed it. This was truly a mystery I couldn’t explain; but even then, I felt there was something faintly flickering in the deepest parts of my mind, a glimmer of the truth that last night’s adventure had brilliantly revealed. I got up immediately, put the parchment away carefully, and decided to think about it more when I was alone.”

“When you had gone, and when Jupiter was fast asleep, I betook myself to a more methodical investigation of the affair. In the first place I considered the manner in which the parchment had come into my possession. The spot where we discovered the scarabæus was on the coast of the main land, about a mile eastward of the island, and but a short distance above high water mark. Upon my taking hold of it, it gave me a sharp bite, which caused me to let it drop. Jupiter, with his accustomed caution, before seizing the insect, which had flown towards him, looked about him for a leaf, or something of that nature, by which to take hold of it. It was at this moment that his eyes, and mine also, fell upon the scrap of parchment, which I then supposed to be paper. It was lying half buried in the sand, a corner sticking up. Near the spot where we found it, I observed the remnants of the hull of what appeared to have been a ship’s long boat. The wreck seemed to have been there for a very great while; for the resemblance to boat timbers could scarcely be traced.

“When you left and Jupiter was deep asleep, I started to investigate the situation more thoroughly. First, I thought about how I came into possession of the parchment. We found the scarabæus on the mainland coast, about a mile east of the island, just above the high water line. When I grabbed it, it bit me sharply, which made me drop it. Jupiter, being cautious as usual, looked for a leaf or something similar to grab the insect that had flown his way. At that moment, both of our eyes fell on a piece of parchment that I initially thought was paper. It was half buried in the sand, with a corner sticking up. Near where we found it, I noticed the remains of what looked like a ship’s longboat. The wreck seemed to have been there for a very long time; the resemblance to boat timbers was barely noticeable.”

“Well, Jupiter picked up the parchment, wrapped the beetle in it, and gave it to me. Soon afterwards we turned to go home, and on the way met Lieutenant G——. I showed him the insect, and he begged me to let him take it to the fort. Upon my consenting, he thrust it forthwith into his waistcoat pocket, without the parchment in which it had been wrapped, and which I had continued to hold in my hand during his inspection. Perhaps he dreaded my changing my mind, and thought it best to make sure of the prize at once—you know how enthusiastic he is on all subjects connected with Natural History. At the same time, without being conscious of it, I must have deposited the parchment in my own pocket.

“Well, Jupiter picked up the parchment, wrapped the beetle in it, and handed it to me. Not long after, we started heading home and ran into Lieutenant G——. I showed him the insect, and he asked if he could take it to the fort. When I agreed, he quickly stuffed it into his waistcoat pocket, leaving behind the parchment it had been wrapped in, which I was still holding during his inspection. Maybe he was worried I’d change my mind and thought it was better to secure the prize right away—you know how enthusiastic he is about everything related to Natural History. At the same time, without even realizing it, I must have put the parchment into my own pocket.

“You remember that when I went to the table, for the purpose of making a sketch of the beetle, I found no paper where it was usually kept. I looked in the drawer, and found none there. I searched my pockets, hoping to find an old letter, when my hand fell upon the parchment. I thus detail the precise mode in which it came into my possession; for the circumstances impressed me with peculiar force.

“You remember that when I went to the table to sketch the beetle, I couldn’t find any paper where it was usually kept. I checked the drawer and didn’t find any there either. I searched my pockets, hoping to come across an old letter, when my hand stumbled upon the parchment. I’m explaining exactly how it came into my possession because the circumstances struck me with a peculiar intensity.”

“No doubt you will think me fanciful—but I had already established a kind of connexion. I had put together two links of a great chain. There was a boat lying upon a sea-coast, and not far from the boat was a parchment—not a paper—with a skull depicted upon it. You will, of course, ask ‘where is the connexion?’ I reply that the skull, or death’s-head, is the well-known emblem of the pirate. The flag of the death’s head is hoisted in all engagements.

“No doubt you’ll think I’m fanciful—but I had already made a kind of connection. I had linked two parts of a larger story. There was a boat sitting on a coastline, and not far from the boat was a parchment—not paper—with a skull drawn on it. You will, of course, ask ‘what’s the connection?’ I answer that the skull, or death’s head, is the famous symbol of the pirate. The death’s head flag is raised in all battles.”

“I have said that the scrap was parchment, and not paper. Parchment is durable—almost imperishable. Matters of little moment are rarely consigned to parchment; since, for the mere ordinary purposes of drawing or writing, it is not nearly so well adapted as paper. This reflection suggested some meaning—some relevancy—in the death’s-head. I did not fail to observe, also, the form of the parchment. Although one of its corners had been, by some accident, destroyed, it could be seen that the original form was oblong. It was just such a slip, indeed, as might have been chosen for a memorandum—for a record of something to be long remembered and carefully preserved.”

“I’ve mentioned that the scrap was parchment, not paper. Parchment is durable—almost indestructible. Unimportant matters are rarely put on parchment; for regular drawing or writing, paper works much better. This thought hinted at some meaning—some connection to the skull. I also noticed the shape of the parchment. Even though one corner was accidentally damaged, it was clear that the original shape was rectangular. It was exactly the kind of slip that could have been used for a note—for recording something meant to be remembered and carefully kept.”

“But,” I interposed, “you say that the skull was not upon the parchment when you made the drawing of the beetle. How then do you trace any connexion between the boat and the skull—since this latter, according to your own admission, must have been designed (God only knows how or by whom) at some period subsequent to your sketching the scarabæus?

“But,” I interrupted, “you say that the skull wasn’t on the parchment when you drew the beetle. So how do you connect the boat to the skull—since this skull, as you admitted, must have been created (God only knows how or by whom) at some time after you sketched the scarabæus?

“Ah, hereupon turns the whole mystery; although the secret, at this point, I had comparatively little difficulty in solving. My steps were sure, and could afford but a single result. I reasoned, for example, thus: When I drew the scarabæus, there was no skull apparent upon the parchment. When I had completed the drawing I gave it to you, and observed you narrowly until you returned it. You, therefore, did not design the skull, and no one else was present to do it. Then it was not done by human agency. And nevertheless it was done.

“Ah, this is where the whole mystery comes together; although, at this point, I found the secret relatively easy to figure out. My steps were certain, leading me to only one conclusion. I reasoned like this: When I drew the scarabæus, there was no skull visible on the parchment. After I finished the drawing, I handed it to you and watched closely until you returned it. So, you didn't create the skull, and no one else was there to do it. Therefore, it wasn’t done by human hands. And yet, it was done.”

“At this stage of my reflections I endeavored to remember, and did remember, with entire distinctness, every incident which occurred about the period in question. The weather was chilly (oh rare and happy accident!), and a fire was blazing upon the hearth. I was heated with exercise and sat near the table. You, however, had drawn a chair close to the chimney. Just as I placed the parchment in your hand, and as you were in the act of inspecting it, Wolf, the Newfoundland, entered, and leaped upon your shoulders. With your left hand you caressed him and kept him off, while your right, holding the parchment, was permitted to fall listlessly between your knees, and in close proximity to the fire. At one moment I thought the blaze had caught it, and was about to caution you, but, before I could speak, you had withdrawn it, and were engaged in its examination. When I considered all these particulars, I doubted not for a moment that heat had been the agent in bringing to light, upon the parchment, the skull which I saw designed upon it. You are well aware that chemical preparations exist, and have existed time out of mind, by means of which it is possible to write upon either paper or vellum, so that the characters shall become visible only when subjected to the action of fire. Zaffre, digested in aqua regia, and diluted with four times its weight of water, is sometimes employed; a green tint results. The regulus of cobalt, dissolved in spirit of nitre, gives a red. These colors disappear at longer or shorter intervals after the material written upon cools, but again become apparent upon the re-application of heat.

“At this point in my thoughts, I tried to recall and did remember clearly every incident that took place during that time. The weather was chilly (what a rare and happy coincidence!), and a fire was crackling in the hearth. I was warm from exercise and sat near the table. You, on the other hand, had pulled a chair close to the fireplace. Just as I placed the parchment in your hand and you were inspecting it, Wolf, the Newfoundland, came in and jumped onto your shoulders. With your left hand, you petted him while keeping him at bay, and your right hand, holding the parchment, let it fall carelessly between your knees, close to the fire. For a moment, I thought the flames had caught it and was about to warn you, but before I could say anything, you pulled it back and focused on examining it. Considering all these details, I had no doubt that heat revealed the skull design on the parchment. You know that there are chemical preparations that allow writing on either paper or vellum, which only becomes visible when exposed to heat. Zaffre, processed in aqua regia and diluted with four times its weight in water, is sometimes used; it produces a green tint. The regulus of cobalt, dissolved in nitric acid, gives a red color. These colors fade after varying amounts of time once the material cools, but they become visible again when heat is reapplied."

“I now scrutinized the death’s-head with care. Its outer edges—the edges of the drawing nearest the edge of the vellum—were far more distinct than the others. It was clear that the action of the caloric had been imperfect or unequal. I immediately kindled a fire, and subjected every portion of the parchment to a glowing heat. At first, the only effect was the strengthening of the faint lines in the skull; but, upon persevering in the experiment, there became visible, at the corner of the slip, diagonally opposite to the spot in which the death’s-head was delineated, the figure of what I at first supposed to be a goat. A closer scrutiny, however, satisfied me that it was intended for a kid.”

I carefully examined the skull drawing. The outer edges—the parts of the drawing closest to the edge of the parchment—were much clearer than the rest. It was obvious that the heat process hadn't worked perfectly or evenly. I decided to start a fire and exposed every part of the parchment to intense heat. At first, the only result was that the faint lines of the skull became more pronounced; but as I continued the experiment, I noticed a figure appearing at the corner of the paper, diagonally opposite from where the skull was drawn. At first, I thought it was a goat, but upon closer inspection, I realized it was meant to depict a young goat.

“Ha! ha!” said I, “to be sure I have no right to laugh at you—a million and a half of money is too serious a matter for mirth—but you are not about to establish a third link in your chain—you will not find any especial connexion between your pirates and a goat—pirates, you know, have nothing to do with goats; they appertain to the farming interest.”

“Ha! ha!” I said, “I know I shouldn’t laugh at you—a million and a half dollars is too serious for jokes—but you’re not about to make a third connection in your argument—you won’t find any special link between your pirates and a goat—pirates, you know, have nothing to do with goats; they belong in the farming sector.”

“But I have just said that the figure was not that of a goat.”

“But I just said that the figure wasn't a goat.”

“Well, a kid then—pretty much the same thing.”

“Well, a kid then—pretty much the same thing.”

“Pretty much, but not altogether,” said Legrand. “You may have heard of one Captain Kidd. I at once looked upon the figure of the animal as a kind of punning or hieroglyphical signature. I say signature; because its position upon the vellum suggested this idea. The death’s-head at the corner diagonally opposite, had, in the same manner, the air of a stamp, or seal. But I was sorely put out by the absence of all else—of the body to my imagined instrument—of the text for my context.”

“Kind of, but not completely,” Legrand said. “You might have heard of a guy named Captain Kidd. I immediately saw the figure of the animal as some sort of pun or hieroglyphic signature. I call it a signature because its position on the vellum gave me that impression. The skull at the diagonal corner had, similarly, the vibe of a stamp or seal. But I was really frustrated by the lack of everything else—of the body to my imagined instrument—of the text for my context.”

“I presume you expected to find a letter between the stamp and the signature.”

“I guess you thought there'd be a letter between the stamp and the signature.”

“Something of that kind. The fact is, I felt irresistibly impressed with a presentiment of some vast good fortune impending. I can scarcely say why. Perhaps, after all, it was rather a desire than an actual belief;—but do you know that Jupiter’s silly words, about the bug being of solid gold, had a remarkable effect upon my fancy? And then the series of accidents and coincidences—these were so very extraordinary. Do you observe how mere an accident it was that these events should have occurred upon the sole day of all the year in which it has been, or may be, sufficiently cool for fire, and that without the fire, or without the intervention of the dog at the precise moment in which he appeared, I should never have become aware of the death’s-head, and so never the possessor of the treasure?”

“Something like that. The truth is, I felt this strong sense of an upcoming great fortune. I can hardly explain why. Maybe it was more of a wish than a real belief;—but do you know that Jupiter’s silly comment about the bug being solid gold really caught my imagination? And then there were all these strange accidents and coincidences—these were truly remarkable. Do you notice how random it was that these events happened on the one day of the year when it was, or could be, cool enough for a fire, and that without the fire, or without the dog showing up at just the right moment, I would have never discovered the skull and thus would have never found the treasure?”

“But proceed—I am all impatience.”

"But go ahead—I'm so eager."

“Well; you have heard, of course, the many stories current—the thousand vague rumors afloat about money buried, somewhere upon the Atlantic coast, by Kidd and his associates. These rumors must have had some foundation in fact. And that the rumors have existed so long and so continuous, could have resulted, it appeared to me, only from the circumstance of the buried treasure still remaining entombed. Had Kidd concealed his plunder for a time, and afterwards reclaimed it, the rumors would scarcely have reached us in their present unvarying form. You will observe that the stories told are all about money-seekers, not about money-finders. Had the pirate recovered his money, there the affair would have dropped. It seemed to me that some accident—say the loss of a memorandum indicating its locality—had deprived him of the means of recovering it, and that this accident had become known to his followers, who otherwise might never have heard that treasure had been concealed at all, and who, busying themselves in vain, because unguided attempts, to regain it, had given first birth, and then universal currency, to the reports which are now so common. Have you ever heard of any important treasure being unearthed along the coast?”

“Well, you’ve heard, of course, the many stories going around—the countless vague rumors about money buried somewhere on the Atlantic coast by Kidd and his crew. These rumors must have some basis in reality. The fact that these rumors have persisted for so long suggests to me that the buried treasure is still hidden away. If Kidd had stashed his loot for a while and then retrieved it, the rumors wouldn’t have reached us in the same unchanged form. You’ll notice that the stories talk about money-seekers, not money-finders. If the pirate had found his money, that would have been the end of it. It seems to me that something must have happened—like losing a note that showed where it was—that stopped him from getting it back, and that this mishap became known to his followers, who otherwise might never have learned that treasure had even been hidden in the first place. They, busying themselves in pointless, unstructured attempts to recover it, sparked the stories that are now so widespread. Have you ever heard of any significant treasure being dug up along the coast?”

“Never.”

"Not a chance."

“But that Kidd’s accumulations were immense, is well known. I took it for granted, therefore, that the earth still held them; and you will scarcely be surprised when I tell you that I felt a hope, nearly amounting to certainty, that the parchment so strangely found, involved a lost record of the place of deposit.”

“But it's well known that Kidd's treasures were huge. I assumed that the earth still held them, so you probably won’t be shocked to hear that I felt a hope, almost a certainty, that the strangely found parchment contained a lost record of where they were buried.”

“But how did you proceed?”

“But how did you move forward?”

“I held the vellum again to the fire, after increasing the heat; but nothing appeared. I now thought it possible that the coating of dirt might have something to do with the failure; so I carefully rinsed the parchment by pouring warm water over it, and, having done this, I placed it in a tin pan, with the skull downwards, and put the pan upon a furnace of lighted charcoal. In a few minutes, the pan having become thoroughly heated, I removed the slip, and, to my inexpressible joy, found it spotted, in several places, with what appeared to be figures arranged in lines. Again I placed it in the pan, and suffered it to remain another minute. Upon taking it off, the whole was just as you see it now.”

I held the parchment up to the fire again, turning up the heat, but nothing happened. I figured that the layer of dirt might be the reason it wasn’t working, so I carefully rinsed the parchment by pouring warm water over it. After that, I put it in a tin pan, skull-side down, and set the pan on a charcoal stove. A few minutes later, once the pan was really hot, I took out the parchment and, to my absolute delight, saw that it had spots in various places that looked like lines of figures. I put it back in the pan and let it sit for another minute. When I took it off, it looked exactly like you see it now.

Here Legrand, having re-heated the parchment, submitted it to my inspection. The following characters were rudely traced, in a red tint, between the death’s-head and the goat:

Here Legrand, after re-heating the parchment, showed it to me. The following characters were roughly marked in red between the skull and the goat:

“53‡‡†305))6*;4826)4‡.)4‡);806*;48†8¶60))85;1‡(;:‡*8†83(88)5*†
;46(;88*96*?;8)*‡(;485);5*†2:*‡(;4956*2(5*—4)8¶8*;4069285);)
6†8)4‡‡;1(‡9;48081;8:8‡1;48†85;4)485†528806*81(‡9;48;(88;4(‡?3
4;48)4‡;161;:188;‡?;”

“53‡‡†305))6*;4826)4‡.)4‡);806*;48†8¶60))85;1‡(;:‡*8†83(88)5*†
;46(;88*96*?;8)*‡(;485);5*†2:*‡(;4956*2(5*—4)8¶8*;4069285);)
6†8)4‡‡;1(‡9;48081;8:8‡1;48†85;4)485†528806*81(‡9;48;(88;4(‡?3
4;48)4‡;161;:188;‡?;”

“But,” said I, returning him the slip, “I am as much in the dark as ever. Were all the jewels of Golconda awaiting me upon my solution of this enigma, I am quite sure that I should be unable to earn them.”

“But,” I said, handing him back the slip, “I’m just as confused as ever. Even if all the jewels of Golconda were waiting for me if I solved this puzzle, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to earn them.”

“And yet,” said Legrand, “the solution is by no means so difficult as you might be lead to imagine from the first hasty inspection of the characters. These characters, as any one might readily guess, form a cipher—that is to say, they convey a meaning; but then, from what is known of Kidd, I could not suppose him capable of constructing any of the more abstruse cryptographs. I made up my mind, at once, that this was of a simple species—such, however, as would appear, to the crude intellect of the sailor, absolutely insoluble without the key.”

“And yet,” Legrand said, “the solution isn’t as difficult as you might think from a quick look at the characters. These characters, as anyone could easily guess, form a cipher—that is to say, they convey a meaning; however, based on what is known about Kidd, I couldn't believe he was capable of creating any of the more complex ciphers. I decided right away that this was a simple type—one that would seem completely unsolvable to the basic mind of the sailor without the key.”

“And you really solved it?”

"And you actually solved it?"

“Readily; I have solved others of an abstruseness ten thousand times greater. Circumstances, and a certain bias of mind, have led me to take interest in such riddles, and it may well be doubted whether human ingenuity can construct an enigma of the kind which human ingenuity may not, by proper application, resolve. In fact, having once established connected and legible characters, I scarcely gave a thought to the mere difficulty of developing their import.

"Sure; I've solved others that were way more complicated. My circumstances and a certain mindset have made me interested in these kinds of puzzles, and I have serious doubts that human creativity can create a riddle that human creativity can't, with the right approach, figure out. Honestly, once I had established clear and readable symbols, I barely thought about the actual challenge of figuring out what they meant."

“In the present case—indeed in all cases of secret writing—the first question regards the language of the cipher; for the principles of solution, so far, especially, as the more simple ciphers are concerned, depend upon, and are varied by, the genius of the particular idiom. In general, there is no alternative but experiment (directed by probabilities) of every tongue known to him who attempts the solution, until the true one be attained. But, with the cipher now before us, all difficulty was removed by the signature. The pun upon the word ‘Kidd’ is appreciable in no other language than the English. But for this consideration I should have begun my attempts with the Spanish and French, as the tongues in which a secret of this kind would most naturally have been written by a pirate of the Spanish main. As it was, I assumed the cryptograph to be English.

“In this case—and in all cases of secret writing—the first question is about the language of the cipher. The principles of solving it, especially for simpler ciphers, depend on and vary with the characteristics of the specific language. Generally, there’s no choice but to experiment (guided by probabilities) with every language known to the person trying to solve it until the correct one is found. However, with the cipher we have here, the signature eliminated all difficulty. The play on the word ‘Kidd’ is only clear in English. Without this factor, I would have started my attempts with Spanish and French, as those are the languages a pirate from the Spanish Main would likely use for a secret like this. As it turned out, I assumed the cryptograph was in English.”

“You observe there are no divisions between the words. Had there been divisions, the task would have been comparatively easy. In such case I should have commenced with a collation and analysis of the shorter words, and, had a word of a single letter occurred, as is most likely, (a or I, for example,) I should have considered the solution as assured. But, there being no division, my first step was to ascertain the predominant letters, as well as the least frequent. Counting all, I constructed a table, thus:

“You'll notice there are no breaks between the words. If there were, it would have made things a lot easier. In that case, I would have started by comparing and analyzing the shorter words, and if a single-letter word appeared, like 'a' or 'I,' I'd have felt confident about finding the solution. But since there’s no separation, my first step was to identify the most common letters and the least frequent ones. After counting everything, I created a table like this:

Of the character 8 there are 33.

Of character 8, there are 33.

                          ;        “     26.
                          4        “     19.
                        ‡ )        “     16.
                          *        “     13.
                          5        “     12.
                          6        “     11.
                        † 1        “      8.
                          0        “      6.
                        9 2        “      5.
                        : 3        “      4.
                          ?        “      3.
                          ¶        “      2.
                         -.        “      1.
                          ;        “     26.
                          4        “     19.
                        † )        “     16.
                          *        “     13.
                          5        “     12.
                          6        “     11.
                        † 1        “      8.
                          0        “      6.
                        9 2        “      5.
                        : 3        “      4.
                          ?        “      3.
                          §        “      2.
                         -.        “      1.

“Now, in English, the letter which most frequently occurs is e. Afterwards, succession runs thus: a o i d h n r s t u y c f g l m w b k p q x z. E predominates so remarkably that an individual sentence of any length is rarely seen, in which it is not the prevailing character.

“Now, in English, the letter that shows up the most is e. After that, the order goes like this: a o i d h n r s t u y c f g l m w b k p q x z. E stands out so much that it's rare to find a sentence of any length where it isn't the most common letter.”

“Here, then, we leave, in the very beginning, the groundwork for something more than a mere guess. The general use which may be made of the table is obvious—but, in this particular cipher, we shall only very partially require its aid. As our predominant character is 8, we will commence by assuming it as the e of the natural alphabet. To verify the supposition, let us observe if the 8 be seen often in couples—for e is doubled with great frequency in English—in such words, for example, as ‘meet,’ ‘.fleet,’ ‘speed,’ ‘seen,’ been,’ ‘agree,’ &c. In the present instance we see it doubled no less than five times, although the cryptograph is brief.

“Here, we start by laying the foundation for something more than just a guess. It's clear how the table can be used, but for this specific cipher, we will only need it a little bit. Since our main character is 8, let's assume it represents the e in the natural alphabet. To test this assumption, let’s check if the 8 appears frequently in pairs—because e is often doubled in English words, like ‘meet,’ ‘fleet,’ ‘speed,’ ‘seen,’ ‘been,’ ‘agree,’ and so on. In this case, we see it doubled no less than five times, even though the cipher is short.”

“Let us assume 8, then, as e. Now, of all words in the language, ‘the’ is most usual; let us see, therefore, whether there are not repetitions of any three characters, in the same order of collocation, the last of them being 8. If we discover repetitions of such letters, so arranged, they will most probably represent the word ‘the.’ Upon inspection, we find no less than seven such arrangements, the characters being ;48. We may, therefore, assume that ; represents t, 4 represents h, and 8 represents e—the last being now well confirmed. Thus a great step has been taken.

"Let's assume 8 is e. Now, of all the words in the language, 'the' is the most common; so let's check if there are any repetitions of three characters in the same order, with the last character being 8. If we find repetitions of such letters arranged this way, they will most likely stand for the word 'the.' Upon inspection, we find at least seven such arrangements, the characters being ;48. Therefore, we can conclude that ; represents t, 4 represents h, and 8 represents e—the last one being confirmed now. This is a significant step forward."

“But, having established a single word, we are enabled to establish a vastly important point; that is to say, several commencements and terminations of other words. Let us refer, for example, to the last instance but one, in which the combination ;48 occurs—not far from the end of the cipher. We know that the ; immediately ensuing is the commencement of a word, and, of the six characters succeeding this ‘the,’ we are cognizant of no less than five. Let us set these characters down, thus, by the letters we know them to represent, leaving a space for the unknown—

"But once we establish a single word, we can highlight a really important point; specifically, the beginnings and ends of other words. For example, let’s look at the second to last instance where the combination ;48 appears—not far from the end of the cipher. We know that the ; right after it marks the start of a word, and out of the six characters that follow ‘the,’ we know at least five of them. Let's write these characters down using the letters we know they represent, leaving a space for the unknown—"

t eeth.

teeth.

“Here we are enabled, at once, to discard the ‘th,’ as forming no portion of the word commencing with the first t; since, by experiment of the entire alphabet for a letter adapted to the vacancy, we perceive that no word can be formed of which this th can be a part. We are thus narrowed into

“Here we can immediately drop the ‘th,’ as it doesn’t belong to the word starting with the first t; because, through testing the whole alphabet for a letter that fits the space, we find that no word can be made that includes this th. We are thus narrowed into

t ee,

t ee,

and, going through the alphabet, if necessary, as before, we arrive at the word ‘tree,’ as the sole possible reading. We thus gain another letter, r, represented by (, with the words ‘the tree’ in juxtaposition.

and, going through the alphabet, if necessary, as before, we arrive at the word ‘tree,’ as the only possible reading. We thus gain another letter, r, represented by (, with the words ‘the tree’ next to each other.

“Looking beyond these words, for a short distance, we again see the combination ;48, and employ it by way of termination to what immediately precedes. We have thus this arrangement:

“Looking past these words for a brief moment, we once again see the combination ;48, and use it as a way to wrap up what comes right before it. We have this arrangement:

the tree ;4(‡?34 the,

the tree

or, substituting the natural letters, where known, it reads thus:

or, substituting the natural letters, where known, it reads like this:

the tree thr‡?3h the.

the tree through the.

“Now, if, in place of the unknown characters, we leave blank spaces, or substitute dots, we read thus:

“Now, if we replace the unknown characters with blank spaces or dots, we read it like this:

the tree thr...h the,

the tree thr...h the,

when the word ‘through’ makes itself evident at once. But this discovery gives us three new letters, o, u and g, represented by ‡, ? and 3.

when the word ‘through’ becomes clear right away. But this discovery gives us three new letters, o, u, and g, represented by ‡, ? and 3.

“Looking now, narrowly, through the cipher for combinations of known characters, we find, not very far from the beginning, this arrangement,

“Now, looking closely through the code for combinations of known characters, we find, not too far from the start, this arrangement,

83(88, or egree,

83(88, or degree,

which, plainly, is the conclusion of the word ‘degree,’ and gives us another letter, d, represented by †.

which, clearly, is the conclusion of the word ‘degree,’ and gives us another letter, d, represented by †.

“Four letters beyond the word ‘degree,’ we perceive the combination

“Four letters beyond the word ‘degree,’ we perceive the combination

;46(;88.

;46(;88.

“Translating the known characters, and representing the unknown by dots, as before, we read thus:

“Translating the known characters and showing the unknown with dots, as before, we read it like this:

th.rtee,

th.rtee,

an arrangement immediately suggestive of the word ‘thirteen,’ and again furnishing us with two new characters, i and n, represented by 6 and *.

an arrangement that immediately brings to mind the word ‘thirteen,’ and once again providing us with two new characters, i and n, represented by 6 and *.

“Referring, now, to the beginning of the cryptograph, we find the combination,

“Now, looking at the start of the cryptograph, we come across the combination,

53‡‡†.

53‡‡†.

“Translating as before, we obtain

"Translating as usual, we get"

good,

good

which assures us that the first letter is A, and that the first two words are ‘A good.’

which assures us that the first letter is A, and that the first two words are ‘A good.’

“It is now time that we arrange our key, as far as discovered, in a tabular form, to avoid confusion. It will stand thus:

“It’s time to organize our key, as far as we've figured it out, in a table to prevent any confusion. It will look like this:

                5 represents      a
                †       “         d
                8       “         e
                3       “         g
                4       “         h
                6       “         i
                *       “         n
                ‡       “         o
                (       “         r
                ;       “         t
                ?       “         u
                5 represents      a
                †       “         d
                8       “         e
                3       “         g
                4       “         h
                6       “         i
                *       “         n
                ✝       “         o
                (       “         r
                ;       “         t
                ?       “         u

“We have, therefore, no less than eleven of the most important letters represented, and it will be unnecessary to proceed with the details of the solution. I have said enough to convince you that ciphers of this nature are readily soluble, and to give you some insight into the rationale of their development. But be assured that the specimen before us appertains to the very simplest species of cryptograph. It now only remains to give you the full translation of the characters upon the parchment, as unriddled. Here it is:

“We have, therefore, a total of eleven of the most important letters represented, and there's no need to go into the details of the solution. I've said enough to convince you that ciphers like this are easy to solve and to give you some understanding of how they developed. But rest assured, the example we have is one of the simplest types of cryptograph. Now all that's left is to provide you with the complete translation of the characters on the parchment, as decoded. Here it is:

“‘A good glass in the bishop’s hostel in the devil’s seat forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes northeast and by north main branch seventh limb east side shoot from the left eye of the death’s-head a bee line from the tree through the shot fifty feet out.’”

“‘A nice drink in the bishop’s lodge at the devil’s spot, forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes northeast and by north, main branch, seventh limb, east side, shoot from the left eye of the skull, a straight line from the tree through the shot, fifty feet out.’”

“But,” said I, “the enigma seems still in as bad a condition as ever. How is it possible to extort a meaning from all this jargon about ‘devil’s seats,’ ‘death’s heads,’ and ‘bishop’s hotels?’”

"But," I said, "the mystery still seems just as confusing as before. How is it possible to make sense of all this nonsense about 'devil's seats,' 'death's heads,' and 'bishop's hotels?'"

“I confess,” replied Legrand, “that the matter still wears a serious aspect, when regarded with a casual glance. My first endeavor was to divide the sentence into the natural division intended by the cryptographist.”

"I admit," Legrand replied, "that the situation still looks serious when you take a quick look at it. My first attempt was to break the sentence down into the natural sections that the cryptographer intended."

“You mean, to punctuate it?”

“Do you mean to punctuate it?”

“Something of that kind.”

"Something like that."

“But how was it possible to effect this?”

“But how was this possible to achieve?”

“I reflected that it had been a point with the writer to run his words together without division, so as to increase the difficulty of solution. Now, a not over-acute man, in pursuing such an object, would be nearly certain to overdo the matter. When, in the course of his composition, he arrived at a break in his subject which would naturally require a pause, or a point, he would be exceedingly apt to run his characters, at this place, more than usually close together. If you will observe the MS., in the present instance, you will easily detect five such cases of unusual crowding. Acting upon this hint, I made the division thus: ‘A good glass in the Bishop’s hostel in the Devil’s seat—forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes—northeast and by north—main branch seventh limb east side—shoot from the left eye of the death’s-head—a bee-line from the tree through the shot fifty feet out.’”

“I thought about how the writer intended to combine his words without breaks, making it harder to figure out. Now, someone who isn't particularly sharp, in trying to achieve that goal, would likely end up overdoing it. When he reached a point in his writing where a pause or period was naturally needed, he would probably squeeze his words together even more tightly at that spot. If you take a look at the manuscript now, you'll easily see five instances of this unusual crowding. Based on this observation, I made the division like this: ‘A good glass in the Bishop’s hostel in the Devil’s seat—forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes—northeast and by north—main branch seventh limb east side—shoot from the left eye of the death’s-head—a bee-line from the tree through the shot fifty feet out.’”

“Even this division,” said I, “leaves me still in the dark.”

“Even this division,” I said, “still leaves me confused.”

“It left me also in the dark,” replied Legrand, “for a few days; during which I made diligent inquiry, in the neighborhood of Sullivan’s Island, for any building which went by the name of the ‘Bishop’s Hotel;’ for, of course, I dropped the obsolete word ‘hostel.’ Gaining no information on the subject, I was on the point of extending my sphere of search, and proceeding in a more systematic manner, when, one morning, it entered into my head, quite suddenly, that this ‘Bishop’s Hostel’ might have some reference to an old family, of the name of Bessop, which, time out of mind, had held possession of an ancient manor-house, about four miles to the northward of the island. I accordingly went over to the plantation, and re-instituted my inquiries among the older negroes of the place. At length one of the most aged of the women said that she had heard of such a place as Bessop’s Castle, and thought that she could guide me to it, but that it was not a castle nor a tavern, but a high rock.

“It left me in the dark too,” replied Legrand, “for a few days; during which I searched diligently in the area around Sullivan’s Island for any building called the ‘Bishop’s Hotel;’ of course, I stopped using the outdated word ‘hostel.’ When I didn’t find any information on the subject, I was about to broaden my search and approach it more systematically when, one morning, it suddenly occurred to me that this ‘Bishop’s Hostel’ might reference an old family named Bessop, which has long owned an ancient manor house about four miles north of the island. I then went over to the plantation and resumed my inquiries with the older Black residents there. Eventually, one of the oldest women said she’d heard of a place called Bessop’s Castle and thought she could show me where it was, but that it wasn’t a castle or an inn, just a high rock.

“I offered to pay her well for her trouble, and, after some demur, she consented to accompany me to the spot. We found it without much difficulty, when, dismissing her, I proceeded to examine the place. The ‘castle’ consisted of an irregular assemblage of cliffs and rocks—one of the latter being quite remarkable for its height as well as for its insulated and artificial appearance. I clambered to its apex, and then felt much at a loss as to what should be next done.

“I offered to pay her well for her trouble, and after some hesitation, she agreed to come with me to the location. We found it without much difficulty, and after sending her away, I started to inspect the site. The ‘castle’ was an uneven collection of cliffs and rocks—one of the rocks stood out due to its height and its oddly shaped, man-made look. I climbed to the top, and then I was uncertain about what to do next.

“While I was busied in reflection, my eyes fell upon a narrow ledge in the eastern face of the rock, perhaps a yard below the summit upon which I stood. This ledge projected about eighteen inches, and was not more than a foot wide, while a niche in the cliff just above it gave it a rude resemblance to one of the hollow-backed chairs used by our ancestors. I made no doubt that here was the ‘devil’s seat’ alluded to in the MS., and now I seemed to grasp the full secret of the riddle.

“While I was lost in thought, my eyes landed on a narrow ledge on the eastern side of the rock, maybe a yard below the peak where I stood. This ledge stuck out about eighteen inches and was hardly a foot wide, while a groove in the cliff just above it made it look kind of like one of those hollow-backed chairs our ancestors used. I had no doubt that this was the 'devil's seat' mentioned in the manuscript, and suddenly I felt like I understood the entire secret of the riddle.”

“The ‘good glass,’ I knew, could have reference to nothing but a telescope; for the word ‘glass’ is rarely employed in any other sense by seamen. Now here, I at once saw, was a telescope to be used, and a definite point of view, admitting no variation, from which to use it. Nor did I hesitate to believe that the phrases, ‘forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes,’ and ‘northeast and by north,’ were intended as directions for the levelling of the glass. Greatly excited by these discoveries, I hurried home, procured a telescope, and returned to the rock.

“The ‘good glass,’ I realized, could only refer to a telescope; because the word ‘glass’ is hardly used in any other way by sailors. Here, I immediately recognized, was a telescope to be used, and a specific viewpoint, with no room for change, from which to use it. I also believed that the phrases ‘forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes’ and ‘northeast and by north’ were meant as instructions for adjusting the telescope. Really excited by these findings, I rushed home, got a telescope, and went back to the rock.”

“I let myself down to the ledge, and found that it was impossible to retain a seat upon it except in one particular position. This fact confirmed my preconceived idea. I proceeded to use the glass. Of course, the ‘forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes’ could allude to nothing but elevation above the visible horizon, since the horizontal direction was clearly indicated by the words, ‘northeast and by north.’ This latter direction I at once established by means of a pocket-compass; then, pointing the glass as nearly at an angle of forty-one degrees of elevation as I could do it by guess, I moved it cautiously up or down, until my attention was arrested by a circular rift or opening in the foliage of a large tree that overtopped its fellows in the distance. In the centre of this rift I perceived a white spot, but could not, at first, distinguish what it was. Adjusting the focus of the telescope, I again looked, and now made it out to be a human skull.

“I lowered myself to the ledge and found that it was impossible to stay seated on it except in one specific position. This confirmed my earlier thoughts. I began using the telescope. Of course, the ‘forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes’ could only refer to the height above the visible horizon since the horizontal direction was clearly indicated by the words ‘northeast and by north.’ I quickly established this direction using a pocket compass; then, pointing the telescope at about a forty-one-degree angle of elevation as best as I could guess, I carefully moved it up or down until something caught my attention—a circular opening in the foliage of a large tree that stood taller than the others in the distance. In the center of this opening, I noticed a white spot but couldn't immediately tell what it was. After adjusting the focus of the telescope, I looked again and realized it was a human skull.

“Upon this discovery I was so sanguine as to consider the enigma solved; for the phrase ‘main branch, seventh limb, east side,’ could refer only to the position of the skull upon the tree, while ‘shoot from the left eye of the death’s head’ admitted, also, of but one interpretation, in regard to a search for buried treasure. I perceived that the design was to drop a bullet from the left eye of the skull, and that a bee-line, or, in other words, a straight line, drawn from the nearest point of the trunk through ‘the shot,’ (or the spot where the bullet fell,) and thence extended to a distance of fifty feet, would indicate a definite point—and beneath this point I thought it at least possible that a deposit of value lay concealed.”

“Upon this discovery, I was so optimistic that I thought the mystery was solved; because the phrase ‘main branch, seventh limb, east side’ could only refer to the position of the skull on the tree, while ‘shoot from the left eye of the death’s head’ also had just one interpretation regarding a search for buried treasure. I realized that the plan was to drop a bullet from the left eye of the skull, and that a direct line, or in other words, a straight line, drawn from the nearest point of the trunk through ‘the shot’ (or the spot where the bullet fell), and extended to a distance of fifty feet, would indicate a specific point—and beneath this point, I thought it was at least possible that a valuable deposit was hidden.”

“All this,” I said, “is exceedingly clear, and, although ingenious, still simple and explicit. When you left the Bishop’s Hotel, what then?”

“All this,” I said, “is very clear, and while clever, it’s still simple and straightforward. When you left the Bishop’s Hotel, what happened next?”

“Why, having carefully taken the bearings of the tree, I turned homewards. The instant that I left ‘the devil’s seat,’ however, the circular rift vanished; nor could I get a glimpse of it afterwards, turn as I would. What seems to me the chief ingenuity in this whole business, is the fact (for repeated experiment has convinced me it is a fact) that the circular opening in question is visible from no other attainable point of view than that afforded by the narrow ledge upon the face of the rock.

“After carefully noting the position of the tree, I headed home. The moment I stepped away from ‘the devil’s seat,’ however, the circular opening disappeared; I couldn’t see it again, no matter how I turned. What strikes me as the most clever part of this whole situation is the fact (and repeated testing has proven it to be true) that the circular opening can only be seen from the narrow ledge on the rock face.”

“In this expedition to the ‘Bishop’s Hotel’ I had been attended by Jupiter, who had, no doubt, observed, for some weeks past, the abstraction of my demeanor, and took especial care not to leave me alone. But, on the next day, getting up very early, I contrived to give him the slip, and went into the hills in search of the tree. After much toil I found it. When I came home at night my valet proposed to give me a flogging. With the rest of the adventure I believe you are as well acquainted as myself.”

“In this trip to the ‘Bishop’s Hotel,’ I had Jupiter with me, who had probably noticed my distracted behavior over the past few weeks and made sure not to leave me alone. But the next day, getting up very early, I managed to slip away from him and went into the hills to look for the tree. After a lot of effort, I found it. When I got home that night, my valet suggested giving me a beating. As for the rest of the adventure, I believe you’re as familiar with it as I am.”

“I suppose,” said I, “you missed the spot, in the first attempt at digging, through Jupiter’s stupidity in letting the bug fall through the right instead of through the left eye of the skull.”

“I guess,” I said, “you missed the spot on the first try at digging because Jupiter was stupid enough to let the bug fall through the right eye instead of the left eye of the skull.”

“Precisely. This mistake made a difference of about two inches and a half in the ‘shot’—that is to say, in the position of the peg nearest the tree; and had the treasure been beneath the ‘shot,’ the error would have been of little moment; but ‘the shot,’ together with the nearest point of the tree, were merely two points for the establishment of a line of direction; of course the error, however trivial in the beginning, increased as we proceeded with the line, and by the time we had gone fifty feet, threw us quite off the scent. But for my deep-seated impressions that treasure was here somewhere actually buried, we might have had all our labor in vain.”

“Exactly. This mistake created a difference of about two and a half inches in the ‘shot’—meaning the spot of the peg closest to the tree; and if the treasure had been beneath the ‘shot,’ the error wouldn’t have mattered much; but ‘the shot,’ along with the closest point of the tree, were just two reference points for setting a direction; naturally, the error, although minor at first, grew as we continued along the line, and by the time we had gone fifty feet, it completely threw us off track. If I hadn’t been so convinced that the treasure was buried here somewhere, all our efforts might have been wasted.”

“But your grandiloquence, and your conduct in swinging the beetle—how excessively odd! I was sure you were mad. And why did you insist upon letting fall the bug, instead of a bullet, from the skull?”

“But your show-off ways and how you swung the beetle—how ridiculously strange! I thought you were crazy. And why did you insist on dropping the bug instead of a bullet from the skull?”

“Why, to be frank, I felt somewhat annoyed by your evident suspicions touching my sanity, and so resolved to punish you quietly, in my own way, by a little bit of sober mystification. For this reason I swung the beetle, and for this reason I let it fall it from the tree. An observation of yours about its great weight suggested the latter idea.”

“Honestly, I was a bit annoyed by your obvious doubts about my sanity, so I decided to quietly get back at you in my own way with a bit of serious mystification. That’s why I swung the beetle, and that’s why I let it fall from the tree. Your comment about its heavy weight inspired me to do the latter.”

“Yes, I perceive; and now there is only one point which puzzles me. What are we to make of the skeletons found in the hole?”

“Yes, I understand; and now there’s just one thing that confuses me. What should we think about the skeletons found in the hole?”

“That is a question I am no more able to answer than yourself. There seems, however, only one plausible way of accounting for them—and yet it is dreadful to believe in such atrocity as my suggestion would imply. It is clear that Kidd—if Kidd indeed secreted this treasure, which I doubt not—it is clear that he must have had assistance in the labor. But this labor concluded, he may have thought it expedient to remove all participants in his secret. Perhaps a couple of blows with a mattock were sufficient, while his coadjutors were busy in the pit; perhaps it required a dozen—who shall tell?”

"That's a question I can't answer any better than you can. However, there seems to be only one reasonable explanation for them—and yet it's horrifying to think of such a terrible act as my suggestion would imply. It's clear that Kidd—if Kidd really did bury this treasure, which I have no doubt about—it's clear he must have had help in the process. But once that work was done, he might have found it wise to eliminate everyone who knew his secret. Maybe just a couple of strikes with a mattock were enough while his accomplices were busy in the pit; or maybe it took a dozen—who can say?"

FOUR BEASTS IN ONE—THE HOMO-CAMELEOPARD

Chacun a ses vertus.

Everyone has their strengths.

Crébillon’s Xerxes.

Xerxes by Crébillon.

Antiochus Epiphanes is very generally looked upon as the Gog of the prophet Ezekiel. This honor is, however, more properly attributable to Cambyses, the son of Cyrus. And, indeed, the character of the Syrian monarch does by no means stand in need of any adventitious embellishment. His accession to the throne, or rather his usurpation of the sovereignty, a hundred and seventy-one years before the coming of Christ; his attempt to plunder the temple of Diana at Ephesus; his implacable hostility to the Jews; his pollution of the Holy of Holies; and his miserable death at Taba, after a tumultuous reign of eleven years, are circumstances of a prominent kind, and therefore more generally noticed by the historians of his time than the impious, dastardly, cruel, silly, and whimsical achievements which make up the sum total of his private life and reputation.

Antiochus Epiphanes is often seen as the Gog of the prophet Ezekiel. However, this title is more accurately given to Cambyses, the son of Cyrus. The character of the Syrian ruler certainly doesn’t need any additional exaggeration. His rise to power, or rather his seizure of the throne, took place a hundred and seventy-one years before the arrival of Christ; his attempt to loot the temple of Diana at Ephesus; his relentless hostility towards the Jews; his defilement of the Holy of Holies; and his tragic death at Taba, after a chaotic eleven-year reign, are significant events that historians of his time have highlighted more than the irreverent, cowardly, cruel, foolish, and erratic actions that define his personal life and reputation.

Let us suppose, gentle reader, that it is now the year of the world three thousand eight hundred and thirty, and let us, for a few minutes, imagine ourselves at that most grotesque habitation of man, the remarkable city of Antioch. To be sure there were, in Syria and other countries, sixteen cities of that appellation, besides the one to which I more particularly allude. But ours is that which went by the name of Antiochia Epidaphne, from its vicinity to the little village of Daphne, where stood a temple to that divinity. It was built (although about this matter there is some dispute) by Seleucus Nicanor, the first king of the country after Alexander the Great, in memory of his father Antiochus, and became immediately the residence of the Syrian monarchy. In the flourishing times of the Roman Empire, it was the ordinary station of the prefect of the eastern provinces; and many of the emperors of the queen city (among whom may be mentioned, especially, Verus and Valens) spent here the greater part of their time. But I perceive we have arrived at the city itself. Let us ascend this battlement, and throw our eyes upon the town and neighboring country.

Let's imagine, dear reader, that it’s now the year 3830, and for a moment, let’s picture ourselves in that peculiar place, the remarkable city of Antioch. Of course, there were sixteen cities with that name in Syria and other regions, but I’m specifically referring to the one known as Antiochia Epidaphne, named after the nearby village of Daphne, where a temple was dedicated to that goddess. There’s some debate about this, but it’s believed to have been built by Seleucus Nicanor, the first king of the area after Alexander the Great, in honor of his father Antiochus, and it quickly became the capital of the Syrian monarchy. During the peak of the Roman Empire, it was the usual base for the governor of the eastern provinces, and many emperors of the queen city (notably Verus and Valens) spent much of their time here. But now we've arrived at the city itself. Let’s go up this battlement and take a look at the town and the surrounding countryside.

“What broad and rapid river is that which forces its way, with innumerable falls, through the mountainous wilderness, and finally through the wilderness of buildings?”

“What wide and fast river is that which forces its way, with countless waterfalls, through the rugged wilderness, and finally through the urban jungle?”

That is the Orontes, and it is the only water in sight, with the exception of the Mediterranean, which stretches, like a broad mirror, about twelve miles off to the southward. Every one has seen the Mediterranean; but let me tell you, there are few who have had a peep at Antioch. By few, I mean, few who, like you and me, have had, at the same time, the advantages of a modern education. Therefore cease to regard that sea, and give your whole attention to the mass of houses that lie beneath us. You will remember that it is now the year of the world three thousand eight hundred and thirty. Were it later—for example, were it the year of our Lord eighteen hundred and forty-five, we should be deprived of this extraordinary spectacle. In the nineteenth century Antioch is—that is to say, Antioch will be—in a lamentable state of decay. It will have been, by that time, totally destroyed, at three different periods, by three successive earthquakes. Indeed, to say the truth, what little of its former self may then remain, will be found in so desolate and ruinous a state that the patriarch shall have removed his residence to Damascus. This is well. I see you profit by my advice, and are making the most of your time in inspecting the premises—in

That’s the Orontes, the only water we can see, except for the Mediterranean, which looks like a big mirror about twelve miles south of us. Everyone has seen the Mediterranean, but I have to say, not many have caught a glimpse of Antioch. By “not many,” I mean not many who, like you and me, have had the benefits of a modern education. So, stop looking at that sea and focus on the cluster of houses below us. You should remember that it’s now the year 3830. If it were later—say, the year 1845—we would miss out on this amazing sight. In the nineteenth century, Antioch is—or rather, will be—in a terrible state of decline. By that time, it will have been completely destroyed three times by three consecutive earthquakes. To be honest, what little remains of its former self will be so desolate and ruined that the patriarch will have moved his residence to Damascus. This is good. I see you’re taking my advice and making the most of your time observing the place—

—satisfying your eyes
With the memorials and the things of fame
That most renown this city.—

—pleasing your eyes
With the monuments and the things of fame
That make this city so well-known.—

I beg pardon; I had forgotten that Shakespeare will not flourish for seventeen hundred and fifty years to come. But does not the appearance of Epidaphne justify me in calling it grotesque?

I apologize; I had forgotten that Shakespeare won’t be celebrated for another one thousand seven hundred and fifty years. But doesn’t the way Epidaphne looks give me reason to call it grotesque?

“It is well fortified; and in this respect is as much indebted to nature as to art.”

“It is well protected; and in this way, it owes as much to nature as it does to human design.”

Very true.

So true.

“There are a prodigious number of stately palaces.”

“There are an impressive number of grand palaces.”

There are.

There are.

“And the numerous temples, sumptuous and magnificent, may bear comparison with the most lauded of antiquity.”

“And the many temples, lavish and impressive, can be compared to the most celebrated ones from ancient times.”

All this I must acknowledge. Still there is an infinity of mud huts, and abominable hovels. We cannot help perceiving abundance of filth in every kennel, and, were it not for the over-powering fumes of idolatrous incense, I have no doubt we should find a most intolerable stench. Did you ever behold streets so insufferably narrow, or houses so miraculously tall? What gloom their shadows cast upon the ground! It is well the swinging lamps in those endless colonnades are kept burning throughout the day; we should otherwise have the darkness of Egypt in the time of her desolation.

I must admit all this. Still, there are countless mud huts and terrible shacks. We can’t help but notice the amount of filth in every corner, and if it weren’t for the overpowering smell of idolatrous incense, I have no doubt we would encounter an unbearable stench. Have you ever seen streets so impossibly narrow, or houses so astonishingly tall? The shadows they cast on the ground are so dark! It’s a good thing the hanging lamps in those endless arcades are kept lit all day; otherwise, we would experience the darkness of Egypt during its time of crisis.

“It is certainly a strange place! What is the meaning of yonder singular building? See! it towers above all others, and lies to the eastward of what I take to be the royal palace!”

“It’s definitely a weird place! What’s the story behind that strange building? Look! It rises above everything else and is located to the east of what I think is the royal palace!”

That is the new Temple of the Sun, who is adored in Syria under the title of Elah Gabalah. Hereafter a very notorious Roman Emperor will institute this worship in Rome, and thence derive a cognomen, Heliogabalus. I dare say you would like to take a peep at the divinity of the temple. You need not look up at the heavens; his Sunship is not there—at least not the Sunship adored by the Syrians. That deity will be found in the interior of yonder building. He is worshipped under the figure of a large stone pillar terminating at the summit in a cone or pyramid, whereby is denoted Fire.

That is the new Temple of the Sun, which is worshipped in Syria under the name Elah Gabalah. Soon, a very famous Roman Emperor will establish this worship in Rome and take the name Heliogabalus. I bet you'd be interested in catching a glimpse of the god in the temple. There's no need to look up to the sky; His Sunship isn't up there—at least not the one worshipped by the Syrians. That deity can be found inside that building over there. He's worshipped in the form of a large stone pillar that ends in a cone or pyramid at the top, symbolizing Fire.

“Hark—behold!—who can those ridiculous beings be, half naked, with their faces painted, shouting and gesticulating to the rabble?”

"Hey—look!—who are those silly people, half naked, with painted faces, yelling and waving their arms at the crowd?"

Some few are mountebanks. Others more particularly belong to the race of philosophers. The greatest portion, however—those especially who belabor the populace with clubs—are the principal courtiers of the palace, executing as in duty bound, some laudable comicality of the king’s.

Some are charlatans. Others are more specifically part of the philosopher group. However, the majority—especially those who beat up the public with clubs—are the main courtiers of the palace, fulfilling their duty by carrying out some commendable comedy for the king.

“But what have we here? Heavens! the town is swarming with wild beasts! How terrible a spectacle!—how dangerous a peculiarity!”

“But what do we have here? Wow! The town is crawling with wild animals! What a terrible sight!—what a dangerous oddity!”

Terrible, if you please; but not in the least degree dangerous. Each animal if you will take the pains to observe, is following, very quietly, in the wake of its master. Some few, to be sure, are led with a rope about the neck, but these are chiefly the lesser or timid species. The lion, the tiger, and the leopard are entirely without restraint. They have been trained without difficulty to their present profession, and attend upon their respective owners in the capacity of valets-de-chambre. It is true, there are occasions when Nature asserts her violated dominions;—but then the devouring of a man-at-arms, or the throttling of a consecrated bull, is a circumstance of too little moment to be more than hinted at in Epidaphne.

It's terrible, if you ask me; but not at all dangerous. Each animal, if you take the time to observe, is quietly following its owner. A few are led with a rope around their necks, but those are mostly the smaller or more timid species. The lion, tiger, and leopard have complete freedom. They've been easily trained for their current roles and serve their owners like personal attendants. It's true that there are times when Nature asserts her authority; however, the eating of a soldier or the strangling of a sacred bull is not important enough to be mentioned more than in passing in Epidaphne.

“But what extraordinary tumult do I hear? Surely this is a loud noise even for Antioch! It argues some commotion of unusual interest.”

“But what incredible noise is that? This is definitely loud even for Antioch! It suggests some kind of unusual excitement.”

Yes—undoubtedly. The king has ordered some novel spectacle—some gladiatorial exhibition at the hippodrome—or perhaps the massacre of the Scythian prisoners—or the conflagration of his new palace—or the tearing down of a handsome temple—or, indeed, a bonfire of a few Jews. The uproar increases. Shouts of laughter ascend the skies. The air becomes dissonant with wind instruments, and horrible with clamor of a million throats. Let us descend, for the love of fun, and see what is going on! This way—be careful! Here we are in the principal street, which is called the street of Timarchus. The sea of people is coming this way, and we shall find a difficulty in stemming the tide. They are pouring through the alley of Heraclides, which leads directly from the palace;—therefore the king is most probably among the rioters. Yes—I hear the shouts of the herald proclaiming his approach in the pompous phraseology of the East. We shall have a glimpse of his person as he passes by the temple of Ashimah. Let us ensconce ourselves in the vestibule of the sanctuary; he will be here anon. In the meantime let us survey this image. What is it? Oh! it is the god Ashimah in proper person. You perceive, however, that he is neither a lamb, nor a goat, nor a satyr, neither has he much resemblance to the Pan of the Arcadians. Yet all these appearances have been given—I beg pardon—will be given—by the learned of future ages, to the Ashimah of the Syrians. Put on your spectacles, and tell me what it is. What is it?

Yes—definitely. The king has called for some new spectacle—maybe a gladiatorial show at the hippodrome—or perhaps the slaughter of the Scythian prisoners—or the burning of his new palace—or the demolition of a beautiful temple—or, in fact, a bonfire involving a few Jews. The noise increases. Laughter fills the air. The sound is chaotic with musical instruments and the ruckus of countless voices. Let’s go down, just for fun, and see what’s happening! This way—be careful! Here we are on the main street, known as the street of Timarchus. The crowd is moving this way, and it will be hard to hold our ground. They’re rushing through the alley of Heraclides, which leads straight from the palace;—so it’s likely the king is in the middle of the crowd. Yes—I can hear the herald calling out his arrival in the grand style of the East. We’ll get a quick look at him as he passes by the temple of Ashimah. Let’s hide ourselves in the entrance of the sanctuary; he’ll be here shortly. In the meantime, let’s take a look at this statue. What is it? Oh! it’s the god Ashimah himself. But you see, he’s neither a lamb, nor a goat, nor a satyr, and he doesn’t look much like the Pan of the Arcadians either. Yet all those features have been attributed—I apologize—will be attributed—by scholars of future generations to the Ashimah of the Syrians. Put on your glasses and tell me what you think it is. What is it?

“Bless me! it is an ape!”

“Wow! It’s an ape!”

True—a baboon; but by no means the less a deity. His name is a derivation of the Greek Simia—what great fools are antiquarians! But see!—see!—yonder scampers a ragged little urchin. Where is he going? What is he bawling about? What does he say? Oh! he says the king is coming in triumph; that he is dressed in state; that he has just finished putting to death, with his own hand, a thousand chained Israelitish prisoners! For this exploit the ragamuffin is lauding him to the skies! Hark! here comes a troop of a similar description. They have made a Latin hymn upon the valor of the king, and are singing it as they go:

True—a baboon; but still a deity. His name comes from the Greek Simia—what silly fools antiquarians are! But look!—look!—there’s a scruffy little kid running around. Where is he going? What’s he yelling about? What does he say? Oh! he says the king is coming in triumph; that he’s dressed in grand style; that he just killed a thousand chained Israelite prisoners with his own hand! For this, the ragamuffin is praising him to the skies! Listen! here comes a group just like him. They’ve made a Latin hymn about the king’s bravery and are singing it as they walk:

Mille, mille, mille,
Mille, mille, mille,
Decollavimus, unus homo!
Mille, mille, mille, mille, decollavimus!
Mille, mille, mille,
Vivat qui mille mille occidit!
Tantum vini habet nemo
Quantum sanguinis effudit!(*1)

Mille, mille, mille,
Mille, mille, mille,
We beheaded one man!
Mille, mille, mille, mille, we beheaded!
Mille, mille, mille,
Long live the one who killed thousands!
No one has as much wine
As blood they spilled!(*1)

Which may be thus paraphrased:

Which can be rephrased as:

A thousand, a thousand, a thousand,
A thousand, a thousand, a thousand,
We, with one warrior, have slain!
A thousand, a thousand, a thousand, a thousand.
Sing a thousand over again!
Soho!—let us sing
Long life to our king,
Who knocked over a thousand so fine!
Soho!—let us roar,
He has given us more
Red gallons of gore
Than all Syria can furnish of wine!

A thousand, a thousand, a thousand,
A thousand, a thousand, a thousand,
We, with one warrior, have defeated!
A thousand, a thousand, a thousand, a thousand.
Sing a thousand once more!
Soho!—let’s celebrate
Long life to our king,
Who took down a thousand so bravely!
Soho!—let’s cheer,
He has given us more
Red gallons of blood
Than all of Syria can provide in wine!

“Do you hear that flourish of trumpets?”

“Do you hear that blare of trumpets?”

Yes—the king is coming! See! the people are aghast with admiration, and lift up their eyes to the heavens in reverence. He comes!—he is coming!—there he is!

Yes—the king is coming! Look! The people are in awe and lift their eyes to the heavens in respect. He’s coming!—he is on his way!—there he is!

“Who?—where?—the king?—do not behold him—cannot say that I perceive him.”

“Who?—where?—the king?—I can't see him—can't say that I notice him.”

Then you must be blind.

Then you must be clueless.

“Very possible. Still I see nothing but a tumultuous mob of idiots and madmen, who are busy in prostrating themselves before a gigantic cameleopard, and endeavoring to obtain a kiss of the animal’s hoofs. See! the beast has very justly kicked one of the rabble over—and another—and another—and another. Indeed, I cannot help admiring the animal for the excellent use he is making of his feet.”

“Very possible. Still, I see nothing but a chaotic crowd of idiots and crazies, who are busy bowing down to a giant giraffe, trying to get a kiss from its hooves. Look! The creature has rightly kicked one of the people over—and another—and another—and another. Honestly, I can't help but admire the animal for how well it's using its feet.”

Rabble, indeed!—why these are the noble and free citizens of Epidaphne! Beasts, did you say?—take care that you are not overheard. Do you not perceive that the animal has the visage of a man? Why, my dear sir, that cameleopard is no other than Antiochus Epiphanes, Antiochus the Illustrious, King of Syria, and the most potent of all the autocrats of the East! It is true, that he is entitled, at times, Antiochus Epimanes—Antiochus the madman—but that is because all people have not the capacity to appreciate his merits. It is also certain that he is at present ensconced in the hide of a beast, and is doing his best to play the part of a cameleopard; but this is done for the better sustaining his dignity as king. Besides, the monarch is of gigantic stature, and the dress is therefore neither unbecoming nor over large. We may, however, presume he would not have adopted it but for some occasion of especial state. Such, you will allow, is the massacre of a thousand Jews. With how superior a dignity the monarch perambulates on all fours! His tail, you perceive, is held aloft by his two principal concubines, Elline and Argelais; and his whole appearance would be infinitely prepossessing, were it not for the protuberance of his eyes, which will certainly start out of his head, and the queer color of his face, which has become nondescript from the quantity of wine he has swallowed. Let us follow him to the hippodrome, whither he is proceeding, and listen to the song of triumph which he is commencing:

Rabble, seriously?—these are the noble and free citizens of Epidaphne! Beasts, you say?—watch your words, or someone might overhear you. Can’t you see that the creature has the face of a man? That cameleopard is none other than Antiochus Epiphanes, Antiochus the Illustrious, King of Syria, and the most powerful of all the rulers in the East! It’s true that at times people call him Antiochus Epimanes—Antiochus the madman—but that’s just because not everyone can appreciate his greatness. It’s also clear that he’s currently hidden in the skin of a beast, trying to act like a cameleopard; but he’s doing this to maintain his dignity as king. Besides, he’s a giant, so the outfit is neither unflattering nor too big. Still, we can assume he wouldn’t have chosen it unless it was for a special occasion. Like, say, the massacre of a thousand Jews. Just look at how majestically he crawls on all fours! His tail is lifted high by his two main concubines, Elline and Argelais, and he would look quite impressive if it weren’t for the bulging eyes that look like they might pop out of his head and the strange color of his face, which has become muddled from all the wine he’s drunk. Let’s follow him to the hippodrome, where he’s headed, and hear the triumphal song he’s about to start:

Who is king but Epiphanes?
Say—do you know?
Who is king but Epiphanes?
Bravo!—bravo!
There is none but Epiphanes,
No—there is none:
So tear down the temples,
And put out the sun!

Who is the king but Epiphanes?
Tell me—do you know?
Who is the king but Epiphanes?
Awesome!—awesome!
There is no one but Epiphanes,
No—there is no one:
So tear down the temples,
And extinguish the sun!

Well and strenuously sung! The populace are hailing him ‘Prince of Poets,’ as well as ‘Glory of the East,’ ‘Delight of the Universe,’ and ‘Most Remarkable of Cameleopards.’ They have encored his effusion, and do you hear?—he is singing it over again. When he arrives at the hippodrome, he will be crowned with the poetic wreath, in anticipation of his victory at the approaching Olympics.

Well and energetically sung! The crowd is calling him the ‘Prince of Poets,’ as well as the ‘Glory of the East,’ the ‘Delight of the Universe,’ and the ‘Most Remarkable of Cameleopards.’ They’ve asked for an encore of his performance, and guess what?—he’s singing it again. When he gets to the hippodrome, he will be crowned with the poetic wreath, in expectation of his victory at the upcoming Olympics.

“But, good Jupiter! what is the matter in the crowd behind us?”

“But, good God! what’s going on in the crowd behind us?”

Behind us, did you say?—oh! ah!—I perceive. My friend, it is well that you spoke in time. Let us get into a place of safety as soon as possible. Here!—let us conceal ourselves in the arch of this aqueduct, and I will inform you presently of the origin of the commotion. It has turned out as I have been anticipating. The singular appearance of the cameleopard and the head of a man, has, it seems, given offence to the notions of propriety entertained, in general, by the wild animals domesticated in the city. A mutiny has been the result; and, as is usual upon such occasions, all human efforts will be of no avail in quelling the mob. Several of the Syrians have already been devoured; but the general voice of the four-footed patriots seems to be for eating up the cameleopard. ‘The Prince of Poets,’ therefore, is upon his hinder legs, running for his life. His courtiers have left him in the lurch, and his concubines have followed so excellent an example. ‘Delight of the Universe,’ thou art in a sad predicament! ‘Glory of the East,’ thou art in danger of mastication! Therefore never regard so piteously thy tail; it will undoubtedly be draggled in the mud, and for this there is no help. Look not behind thee, then, at its unavoidable degradation; but take courage, ply thy legs with vigor, and scud for the hippodrome! Remember that thou art Antiochus Epiphanes. Antiochus the Illustrious!—also ‘Prince of Poets,’ ‘Glory of the East,’ ‘Delight of the Universe,’ and ‘Most Remarkable of Cameleopards!’ Heavens! what a power of speed thou art displaying! What a capacity for leg-bail thou art developing! Run, Prince!—Bravo, Epiphanes! Well done, Cameleopard!—Glorious Antiochus!—He runs!—he leaps!—he flies! Like an arrow from a catapult he approaches the hippodrome! He leaps!—he shrieks!—he is there! This is well; for hadst thou, ‘Glory of the East,’ been half a second longer in reaching the gates of the Amphitheatre, there is not a bear’s cub in Epidaphne that would not have had a nibble at thy carcase. Let us be off—let us take our departure!—for we shall find our delicate modern ears unable to endure the vast uproar which is about to commence in celebration of the king’s escape! Listen! it has already commenced. See!—the whole town is topsy-turvy.

Behind us, did you say?—oh! wow!—I see it now. My friend, it’s good you said something just in time. Let’s find a safe place as soon as we can. Here!—let’s hide in this arch of the aqueduct, and I’ll tell you soon about the chaos. It’s happened just as I expected. The strange sight of the giraffe and the head of a man seems to have offended the wild animals living in the city. There’s been a riot; and, as usual in situations like this, no amount of human effort will calm the crowd. Several Syrians have already been eaten, but it looks like the general sentiment among the four-legged citizens is to go after the giraffe instead. ‘The Prince of Poets’ is now on his back legs, running for his life. His followers have abandoned him, and his concubines have done the same. ‘Delight of the Universe,’ you’re in a tough spot! ‘Glory of the East,’ you’re in danger of getting eaten! So don’t look so sadly at your tail; it’s going to get muddy, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Don’t look back at its inevitable fate; instead, have courage, move those legs fast, and dash for the hippodrome! Remember that you’re Antiochus Epiphanes. Antiochus the Illustrious!—also ‘Prince of Poets,’ ‘Glory of the East,’ ‘Delight of the Universe,’ and ‘Most Remarkable of Giraffes!’ Wow! look at how fast you’re running! You’re really picking up the pace! Run, Prince!—Well done, Epiphanes! Great job, Giraffe!—Glorious Antiochus!—He runs!—he leaps!—he flies! Like an arrow from a catapult, he reaches the hippodrome! He leaps!—he screams!—he's there! This is good; because if you, ‘Glory of the East,’ had taken even half a second longer to reach the gates of the Amphitheater, not a single bear cub in Epidaphne would have missed a chance to take a bite out of you. Let’s go—let's get out of here!—because our delicate modern ears won't be able to handle the huge uproar that’s about to start in celebration of the king’s escape! Listen! It’s already starting. Look!—the whole town is turned upside down.

“Surely this is the most populous city of the East! What a wilderness of people! what a jumble of all ranks and ages! what a multiplicity of sects and nations! what a variety of costumes! what a Babel of languages! what a screaming of beasts! what a tinkling of instruments! what a parcel of philosophers!”

“Surely this is the most crowded city in the East! What a mess of people! what a mix of all classes and ages! what a multitude of religions and nationalities! what a range of outfits! what a confusion of languages! what a noise of animals! what a clanging of instruments! what a bunch of philosophers!”

Come let us be off.

Let's get going.

“Stay a moment! I see a vast hubbub in the hippodrome; what is the meaning of it, I beseech you?”

“Wait a second! I see a lot of commotion in the arena; what’s going on, please tell me?”

That?—oh, nothing! The noble and free citizens of Epidaphne being, as they declare, well satisfied of the faith, valor, wisdom, and divinity of their king, and having, moreover, been eye-witnesses of his late superhuman agility, do think it no more than their duty to invest his brows (in addition to the poetic crown) with the wreath of victory in the footrace—a wreath which it is evident he must obtain at the celebration of the next Olympiad, and which, therefore, they now give him in advance.

That?—oh, nothing! The noble and free citizens of Epidaphne, as they say, are fully confident in the faith, valor, wisdom, and godliness of their king. Having also witnessed his recent incredible agility, they believe it’s their duty to place on his head (along with the poetic crown) the victory wreath from the footrace—a wreath that he is sure to win at the upcoming Olympics, and so, they are giving it to him now in advance.

Footnotes—Four Beasts

(*1) Flavius Vospicus says, that the hymn here introduced was sung by the rabble upon the occasion of Aurelian, in the Sarmatic war, having slain, with his own hand, nine hundred and fifty of the enemy.

(*1) Flavius Vospicus says that the hymn introduced here was sung by the crowd when Aurelian, during the Sarmatic war, killed nine hundred and fifty of the enemy with his own hand.

THE MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE

What song the Syrens sang, or what name Achilles assumed when he hid himself among women, although puzzling questions, are not beyond all conjecture.

What song the Sirens sang, or what name Achilles took when he hid himself among women, although puzzling questions, are not beyond all conjecture.

Sir Thomas Browne.

Sir Thomas Browne.

The mental features discoursed of as the analytical, are, in themselves, but little susceptible of analysis. We appreciate them only in their effects. We know of them, among other things, that they are always to their possessor, when inordinately possessed, a source of the liveliest enjoyment. As the strong man exults in his physical ability, delighting in such exercises as call his muscles into action, so glories the analyst in that moral activity which disentangles. He derives pleasure from even the most trivial occupations bringing his talent into play. He is fond of enigmas, of conundrums, of hieroglyphics; exhibiting in his solutions of each a degree of acumen which appears to the ordinary apprehension præternatural. His results, brought about by the very soul and essence of method, have, in truth, the whole air of intuition.

The mental traits referred to as analytical are, in reality, not very easy to analyze. We recognize them only through their effects. We know, among other things, that they can be a source of great enjoyment for their possessor when they become overly dominant. Just as a strong person takes pride in their physical abilities, relishing activities that engage their muscles, the analyst takes pride in that mental activity which disentangles. They find pleasure in even the simplest tasks that allow them to use their skills. They enjoy puzzles, riddles, and symbols, showing a degree of acumen in solving each that seems extraordinary to the average person. Their outcomes, achieved through the very essence of method, truly have the appearance of intuition.

The faculty of re-solution is possibly much invigorated by mathematical study, and especially by that highest branch of it which, unjustly, and merely on account of its retrograde operations, has been called, as if par excellence, analysis. Yet to calculate is not in itself to analyse. A chess-player, for example, does the one without effort at the other. It follows that the game of chess, in its effects upon mental character, is greatly misunderstood. I am not now writing a treatise, but simply prefacing a somewhat peculiar narrative by observations very much at random; I will, therefore, take occasion to assert that the higher powers of the reflective intellect are more decidedly and more usefully tasked by the unostentatious game of draughts than by all the elaborate frivolity of chess. In this latter, where the pieces have different and bizarre motions, with various and variable values, what is only complex is mistaken (a not unusual error) for what is profound. The attention is here called powerfully into play. If it flag for an instant, an oversight is committed resulting in injury or defeat. The possible moves being not only manifold but involute, the chances of such oversights are multiplied; and in nine cases out of ten it is the more concentrative rather than the more acute player who conquers. In draughts, on the contrary, where the moves are unique and have but little variation, the probabilities of inadvertence are diminished, and the mere attention being left comparatively unemployed, what advantages are obtained by either party are obtained by superior acumen. To be less abstract, let us suppose a game of draughts where the pieces are reduced to four kings, and where, of course, no oversight is to be expected. It is obvious that here the victory can be decided (the players being at all equal) only by some recherché movement, the result of some strong exertion of the intellect. Deprived of ordinary resources, the analyst throws himself into the spirit of his opponent, identifies himself therewith, and not unfrequently sees thus, at a glance, the sole methods (sometime indeed absurdly simple ones) by which he may seduce into error or hurry into miscalculation.

The ability to resolve problems is likely boosted by studying math, particularly by that advanced level of it that has unfairly been called, simply because of its backward processes, analysis. However, calculating isn't the same as analyzing. A chess player can easily do one without the other. This suggests that the impact of chess on mental character is often misunderstood. I’m not writing a full treatise but rather introducing a somewhat unique story with somewhat random observations; so I’ll take this chance to say that the higher functions of reflective thinking are more effectively and beneficially engaged by the straightforward game of checkers than by the elaborate distractions of chess. In chess, where the pieces move in different and unusual ways and have various changing values, complexity is often mistaken (a common mistake) for depth. Here, attention is strongly required. If focus slips for even a moment, it can lead to mistakes that result in loss or defeat. With so many intricate moves, the chances of such mistakes increase; and in most cases, it’s the player who concentrates better, rather than the sharper one, who wins. In checkers, however, where the moves are straightforward and have little variation, the chances of making careless mistakes are lower, and since attention isn’t as heavily taxed, any advantages gained by either side come from greater insight. To be more specific, let’s imagine a game of checkers with just four kings on the board, where no mistakes should be expected. It’s clear that here, the outcome can only be determined (assuming the players are evenly matched) by some clever move, resulting from a strong mental effort. Lacking regular strategies, the analyst connects with the mindset of their opponent, aligns with it, and often quickly identifies the unique methods (sometimes strikingly simple ones) to trick them into making a mistake or rushing to miscalculate.

Whist has long been noted for its influence upon what is termed the calculating power; and men of the highest order of intellect have been known to take an apparently unaccountable delight in it, while eschewing chess as frivolous. Beyond doubt there is nothing of a similar nature so greatly tasking the faculty of analysis. The best chess-player in Christendom may be little more than the best player of chess; but proficiency in whist implies capacity for success in all those more important undertakings where mind struggles with mind. When I say proficiency, I mean that perfection in the game which includes a comprehension of all the sources whence legitimate advantage may be derived. These are not only manifold but multiform, and lie frequently among recesses of thought altogether inaccessible to the ordinary understanding. To observe attentively is to remember distinctly; and, so far, the concentrative chess-player will do very well at whist; while the rules of Hoyle (themselves based upon the mere mechanism of the game) are sufficiently and generally comprehensible. Thus to have a retentive memory, and to proceed by “the book,” are points commonly regarded as the sum total of good playing. But it is in matters beyond the limits of mere rule that the skill of the analyst is evinced. He makes, in silence, a host of observations and inferences. So, perhaps, do his companions; and the difference in the extent of the information obtained, lies not so much in the validity of the inference as in the quality of the observation. The necessary knowledge is that of what to observe. Our player confines himself not at all; nor, because the game is the object, does he reject deductions from things external to the game. He examines the countenance of his partner, comparing it carefully with that of each of his opponents. He considers the mode of assorting the cards in each hand; often counting trump by trump, and honor by honor, through the glances bestowed by their holders upon each. He notes every variation of face as the play progresses, gathering a fund of thought from the differences in the expression of certainty, of surprise, of triumph, or of chagrin. From the manner of gathering up a trick he judges whether the person taking it can make another in the suit. He recognises what is played through feint, by the manner with which it is thrown upon the table. A casual or inadvertent word; the accidental dropping or turning of a card, with the accompanying anxiety or carelessness in regard to its concealment; the counting of the tricks, with the order of their arrangement; embarrassment, hesitation, eagerness or trepidation—all afford, to his apparently intuitive perception, indications of the true state of affairs. The first two or three rounds having been played, he is in full possession of the contents of each hand, and thenceforward puts down his cards with as absolute a precision of purpose as if the rest of the party had turned outward the faces of their own.

Whist has long been recognized for its impact on what’s called calculating power; and highly intellectual individuals have been known to find joy in it, while considering chess to be trivial. Without a doubt, nothing else challenges analytical skills quite like it. The best chess player in the world might only be the best at chess, but being skilled at whist indicates capability for success in all those more significant endeavors where minds contend. When I say skilled, I mean having mastered the game to the point of understanding all the sources from which legitimate advantages can be gained. These sources are not only numerous but diverse, often hidden in depths of thought that the average mind cannot access. To observe carefully is to remember clearly; therefore, a focused chess player will likely perform well at whist. The rules of Hoyle (which are based purely on the mechanics of the game) are generally understandable. So, having a good memory and playing “by the book” are often seen as the key elements of good play. However, it is in areas beyond mere rules that an analyst's skill is revealed. He quietly makes a multitude of observations and inferences. His teammates may do the same, but the difference in the amount of information gathered relies more on the quality of observation than the accuracy of the inference. The essential knowledge is about what to observe. Our player does not limit himself; nor does he disregard insights from outside the game just because it is the focus. He scrutinizes his partner’s face, carefully comparing it with that of each opponent. He considers how the cards in each hand are arranged, often counting trump cards and honors based on the glances given by their holders. He notes every change in expression as the game unfolds, gathering insights from the signs of certainty, surprise, triumph, or disappointment. By observing how a trick is taken, he can deduce whether the player who took it can make another in the same suit. He recognizes what is played through deception by the way it is laid down on the table. A casual or unintentional remark; the accidental dropping or flipping of a card, along with the accompanying anxiety or carelessness about keeping it hidden; counting tricks and their arrangement; signs of embarrassment, hesitation, eagerness, or nervousness—all of these provide hints to his seemingly intuitive perception of the true situation. After the first two or three rounds are played, he fully knows the contents of each hand, and from then on, he plays his cards with absolute precision, as if the rest of the players had turned their cards face up.

The analytical power should not be confounded with ample ingenuity; for while the analyst is necessarily ingenious, the ingenious man is often remarkably incapable of analysis. The constructive or combining power, by which ingenuity is usually manifested, and to which the phrenologists (I believe erroneously) have assigned a separate organ, supposing it a primitive faculty, has been so frequently seen in those whose intellect bordered otherwise upon idiocy, as to have attracted general observation among writers on morals. Between ingenuity and the analytic ability there exists a difference far greater, indeed, than that between the fancy and the imagination, but of a character very strictly analogous. It will be found, in fact, that the ingenious are always fanciful, and the truly imaginative never otherwise than analytic.

The analytical skill shouldn't be confused with creative talent; while analysts are definitely clever, creative people often struggle with analysis. The ability to construct or combine ideas, which is how creativity usually shows up, has been mistakenly thought by phrenologists (I believe incorrectly) to be a separate mental function, assuming it was a basic ability. This has been commonly observed in people whose intelligence otherwise approaches ignorance, catching the attention of moral writers. There's a much bigger difference between creativity and analytical ability than there is between fantasy and imagination, though the nature of that difference is quite similar. In fact, you'll find that creative individuals are always fanciful, while those who are truly imaginative are always analytical.

The narrative which follows will appear to the reader somewhat in the light of a commentary upon the propositions just advanced.

The narrative that follows will seem to the reader like a commentary on the ideas just presented.

Residing in Paris during the spring and part of the summer of 18—, I there became acquainted with a Monsieur C. Auguste Dupin. This young gentleman was of an excellent, indeed of an illustrious family, but, by a variety of untoward events, had been reduced to such poverty that the energy of his character succumbed beneath it, and he ceased to bestir himself in the world, or to care for the retrieval of his fortunes. By courtesy of his creditors, there still remained in his possession a small remnant of his patrimony; and, upon the income arising from this, he managed, by means of a rigorous economy, to procure the necessaries of life, without troubling himself about its superfluities. Books, indeed, were his sole luxuries, and in Paris these are easily obtained.

Living in Paris during the spring and part of the summer of 18—, I met a Monsieur C. Auguste Dupin. This young man came from a remarkable, even distinguished family, but due to a series of unfortunate events, he had fallen into such poverty that his character weakened under it, and he stopped trying to make a life for himself or care about improving his situation. Thanks to the understanding of his creditors, he still had a small portion of his inheritance left; and with the income from this, he managed, through strict budgeting, to secure the essentials of life without concerning himself with anything extra. Books were his only indulgence, and in Paris, they are easy to come by.

Our first meeting was at an obscure library in the Rue Montmartre, where the accident of our both being in search of the same very rare and very remarkable volume, brought us into closer communion. We saw each other again and again. I was deeply interested in the little family history which he detailed to me with all that candor which a Frenchman indulges whenever mere self is his theme. I was astonished, too, at the vast extent of his reading; and, above all, I felt my soul enkindled within me by the wild fervor, and the vivid freshness of his imagination. Seeking in Paris the objects I then sought, I felt that the society of such a man would be to me a treasure beyond price; and this feeling I frankly confided to him. It was at length arranged that we should live together during my stay in the city; and as my worldly circumstances were somewhat less embarrassed than his own, I was permitted to be at the expense of renting, and furnishing in a style which suited the rather fantastic gloom of our common temper, a time-eaten and grotesque mansion, long deserted through superstitions into which we did not inquire, and tottering to its fall in a retired and desolate portion of the Faubourg St. Germain.

Our first meeting was at a hidden library on Rue Montmartre, where the chance of both of us looking for the same rare and unique book brought us closer together. We kept seeing each other again and again. I was really interested in the little family history he shared with me, showing that openness a Frenchman often has when talking about himself. I was also amazed by how widely he had read; most of all, I felt my spirit ignited by the passionate enthusiasm and vivid imagination he had. While seeking what I wanted in Paris, I realized that spending time with someone like him would be invaluable, and I openly shared this feeling with him. Eventually, we agreed to live together during my time in the city. Since my financial situation was a bit better than his, I took on the costs of renting and furnishing a rather worn-out and quirky old house that had been deserted due to superstitions we didn’t investigate, which was slowly falling apart in a quiet and barren area of Faubourg St. Germain.

Had the routine of our life at this place been known to the world, we should have been regarded as madmen—although, perhaps, as madmen of a harmless nature. Our seclusion was perfect. We admitted no visitors. Indeed the locality of our retirement had been carefully kept a secret from my own former associates; and it had been many years since Dupin had ceased to know or be known in Paris. We existed within ourselves alone.

If the way we lived here had been known to the outside world, people would have thought we were crazy—though maybe just crazy in a harmless way. Our isolation was complete. We didn’t have any visitors. In fact, we had kept the location of our retreat a closely guarded secret from my old friends; it had been years since Dupin had known anyone or been recognized in Paris. We lived only for ourselves.

It was a freak of fancy in my friend (for what else shall I call it?) to be enamored of the night for her own sake; and into this bizarrerie, as into all his others, I quietly fell; giving myself up to his wild whims with a perfect abandon. The sable divinity would not herself dwell with us always; but we could counterfeit her presence. At the first dawn of the morning we closed all the messy shutters of our old building; lighting a couple of tapers which, strongly perfumed, threw out only the ghastliest and feeblest of rays. By the aid of these we then busied our souls in dreams—reading, writing, or conversing, until warned by the clock of the advent of the true Darkness. Then we sallied forth into the streets arm in arm, continuing the topics of the day, or roaming far and wide until a late hour, seeking, amid the wild lights and shadows of the populous city, that infinity of mental excitement which quiet observation can afford.

It was a strange quirk of my friend (what else can I call it?) to be captivated by the night for its own sake; and into this oddity, like all his others, I quietly fell; giving myself up to his wild ideas with total abandon. The dark goddess wouldn’t always be with us; but we could mimic her presence. At the first light of dawn, we shut all the messy windows of our old building; lighting a couple of candles that, heavily scented, only cast the faintest and creepiest glow. With these, we occupied ourselves in dreams—reading, writing, or chatting, until the clock signaled the arrival of true Darkness. Then we stepped out into the streets arm in arm, continuing our conversations from the day, or wandering far and wide until late, searching, amid the wild lights and shadows of the busy city, for that endless mental thrill that quiet observation can provide.

At such times I could not help remarking and admiring (although from his rich ideality I had been prepared to expect it) a peculiar analytic ability in Dupin. He seemed, too, to take an eager delight in its exercise—if not exactly in its display—and did not hesitate to confess the pleasure thus derived. He boasted to me, with a low chuckling laugh, that most men, in respect to himself, wore windows in their bosoms, and was wont to follow up such assertions by direct and very startling proofs of his intimate knowledge of my own. His manner at these moments was frigid and abstract; his eyes were vacant in expression; while his voice, usually a rich tenor, rose into a treble which would have sounded petulantly but for the deliberateness and entire distinctness of the enunciation. Observing him in these moods, I often dwelt meditatively upon the old philosophy of the Bi-Part Soul, and amused myself with the fancy of a double Dupin—the creative and the resolvent.

During those times, I couldn't help but notice and admire (even though I had expected it because of his rich imagination) a unique analytical skill in Dupin. He also seemed to take great pleasure in using it—if not exactly in showing it off—and didn't hesitate to admit the enjoyment he got from it. He would jokingly tell me, with a soft chuckle, that most men, when it came to him, had windows in their chests, and he often followed up such claims with direct and very surprising evidence of his deep understanding of me. His demeanor during these moments was cold and abstract; his eyes had a blank expression, and while his voice, normally a rich tenor, rose to a higher pitch that could have sounded whiny, it was marked by careful and clear articulation. Watching him in these states, I often pondered the old philosophy of the Bi-Part Soul and entertained myself with the idea of a double Dupin—the creative side and the analytical side.

Let it not be supposed, from what I have just said, that I am detailing any mystery, or penning any romance. What I have described in the Frenchman, was merely the result of an excited, or perhaps of a diseased intelligence. But of the character of his remarks at the periods in question an example will best convey the idea.

Let’s not think that what I just mentioned means I’m revealing any secrets or writing a story. What I described about the Frenchman was just the outcome of a heightened, or maybe even a troubled, mind. But to illustrate the nature of his comments during those times, an example will best capture the idea.

We were strolling one night down a long dirty street in the vicinity of the Palais Royal. Being both, apparently, occupied with thought, neither of us had spoken a syllable for fifteen minutes at least. All at once Dupin broke forth with these words:

We were walking one night down a long, grimy street near the Palais Royal. Both of us seemed lost in thought, and we hadn’t said a word for at least fifteen minutes. Suddenly, Dupin spoke up with these words:

“He is a very little fellow, that’s true, and would do better for the Théâtre des Variétés.”

“He's a really small guy, that's true, and would be better suited for the Théâtre des Variétés.”

“There can be no doubt of that,” I replied unwittingly, and not at first observing (so much had I been absorbed in reflection) the extraordinary manner in which the speaker had chimed in with my meditations. In an instant afterward I recollected myself, and my astonishment was profound.

“There’s no doubt about that,” I replied without thinking, not initially noticing (I was so deep in thought) how perfectly the speaker had matched my reflections. A moment later, I regained my composure, and I was truly amazed.

“Dupin,” said I, gravely, “this is beyond my comprehension. I do not hesitate to say that I am amazed, and can scarcely credit my senses. How was it possible you should know I was thinking of ——?” Here I paused, to ascertain beyond a doubt whether he really knew of whom I thought.

“Dupin,” I said seriously, “this is beyond me. I honestly admit that I’m astonished, and I can hardly believe my senses. How did you know I was thinking of ——?” I paused here to confirm with certainty whether he really knew who I was thinking about.

“—— of Chantilly,” said he, “why do you pause? You were remarking to yourself that his diminutive figure unfitted him for tragedy.”

“—— of Chantilly,” he said, “why are you stopping? You were just mentioning to yourself that his small stature made him unsuitable for tragedy.”

This was precisely what had formed the subject of my reflections. Chantilly was a quondam cobbler of the Rue St. Denis, who, becoming stage-mad, had attempted the rôle of Xerxes, in Crébillon’s tragedy so called, and been notoriously Pasquinaded for his pains.

This was exactly what I had been thinking about. Chantilly was a former cobbler from Rue St. Denis, who, becoming obsessed with the stage, tried to play the role of Xerxes in Crébillon’s tragedy of the same name, and was famously mocked for his efforts.

“Tell me, for Heaven’s sake,” I exclaimed, “the method—if method there is—by which you have been enabled to fathom my soul in this matter.” In fact I was even more startled than I would have been willing to express.

“Tell me, for goodness' sake,” I exclaimed, “the method—if there is one—that has allowed you to understand my soul in this matter.” In fact, I was even more shocked than I would have liked to admit.

“It was the fruiterer,” replied my friend, “who brought you to the conclusion that the mender of soles was not of sufficient height for Xerxes et id genus omne.”

“It was the fruit seller,” my friend replied, “who led you to believe that the shoe repairman wasn’t tall enough for Xerxes et id genus omne.”

“The fruiterer!—you astonish me—I know no fruiterer whomsoever.”

“The fruit seller! You surprise me—I don't know any fruit seller at all.”

“The man who ran up against you as we entered the street—it may have been fifteen minutes ago.”

“The guy who bumped into you as we entered the street—it was probably about fifteen minutes ago.”

I now remembered that, in fact, a fruiterer, carrying upon his head a large basket of apples, had nearly thrown me down, by accident, as we passed from the Rue C—— into the thoroughfare where we stood; but what this had to do with Chantilly I could not possibly understand.

I now remembered that a fruit seller, carrying a big basket of apples on his head, had almost knocked me over by accident as we moved from Rue C—— into the street where we were standing; but I couldn't figure out what this had to do with Chantilly.

There was not a particle of charlatânerie about Dupin. “I will explain,” he said, “and that you may comprehend all clearly, we will first retrace the course of your meditations, from the moment in which I spoke to you until that of the rencontre with the fruiterer in question. The larger links of the chain run thus—Chantilly, Orion, Dr. Nichols, Epicurus, Stereotomy, the street stones, the fruiterer.”

There was no hint of charlatanism in Dupin. “Let me explain,” he said. “To ensure you understand everything clearly, let’s first go over your thoughts from the moment I spoke to you up until the meeting with the fruit seller in question. The main connections in the chain are as follows—Chantilly, Orion, Dr. Nichols, Epicurus, Stereotomy, the street stones, the fruit seller.”

There are few persons who have not, at some period of their lives, amused themselves in retracing the steps by which particular conclusions of their own minds have been attained. The occupation is often full of interest; and he who attempts it for the first time is astonished by the apparently illimitable distance and incoherence between the starting-point and the goal. What, then, must have been my amazement when I heard the Frenchman speak what he had just spoken, and when I could not help acknowledging that he had spoken the truth. He continued:

There are few people who haven't, at some point in their lives, entertained themselves by going back over the steps that led them to their own conclusions. This activity is often quite fascinating; and anyone who does it for the first time is surprised by the vast gap and confusion between where they started and where they ended up. So, you can imagine my astonishment when I heard the Frenchman say what he just said, and I couldn’t help but admit that he was telling the truth. He continued:

“We had been talking of horses, if I remember aright, just before leaving the Rue C——. This was the last subject we discussed. As we crossed into this street, a fruiterer, with a large basket upon his head, brushing quickly past us, thrust you upon a pile of paving stones collected at a spot where the causeway is undergoing repair. You stepped upon one of the loose fragments, slipped, slightly strained your ankle, appeared vexed or sulky, muttered a few words, turned to look at the pile, and then proceeded in silence. I was not particularly attentive to what you did; but observation has become with me, of late, a species of necessity.

“We had been talking about horses, if I remember correctly, just before leaving the Rue C——. That was the last topic we discussed. As we entered this street, a fruit seller with a large basket on his head brushed past us quickly, causing you to stumble onto a pile of paving stones gathered at a spot where the road was being repaired. You stepped on one of the loose pieces, slipped, slightly strained your ankle, seemed annoyed or sulky, muttered a few words, looked back at the pile, and then continued in silence. I wasn’t paying much attention to what you did; but observing things has become a necessity for me lately.

“You kept your eyes upon the ground—glancing, with a petulant expression, at the holes and ruts in the pavement, (so that I saw you were still thinking of the stones,) until we reached the little alley called Lamartine, which has been paved, by way of experiment, with the overlapping and riveted blocks. Here your countenance brightened up, and, perceiving your lips move, I could not doubt that you murmured the word ‘stereotomy,’ a term very affectedly applied to this species of pavement. I knew that you could not say to yourself ‘stereotomy’ without being brought to think of atomies, and thus of the theories of Epicurus; and since, when we discussed this subject not very long ago, I mentioned to you how singularly, yet with how little notice, the vague guesses of that noble Greek had met with confirmation in the late nebular cosmogony, I felt that you could not avoid casting your eyes upward to the great nebula in Orion, and I certainly expected that you would do so. You did look up; and I was now assured that I had correctly followed your steps. But in that bitter tirade upon Chantilly, which appeared in yesterday’s ‘Musée,’ the satirist, making some disgraceful allusions to the cobbler’s change of name upon assuming the buskin, quoted a Latin line about which we have often conversed. I mean the line

“You were staring at the ground, glancing with an annoyed look at the holes and bumps in the pavement (which made it clear you still had the stones on your mind) until we reached the small alley called Lamartine, which has been experimented on with overlapping and riveted blocks. Here your face lit up, and as I noticed your lips moving, I couldn’t doubt that you whispered the word ‘stereotomy,’ a rather pretentious term used for this kind of pavement. I knew you couldn’t think the word ‘stereotomy’ without also thinking about tiny particles and, in turn, the theories of Epicurus; and since we discussed this topic not too long ago, when I told you how surprisingly, and with so little notice, the vague ideas of that noble Greek had found support in recent nebular cosmogony, I felt you couldn’t help but glance up at the great nebula in Orion, and I fully expected you to do so. You looked up; and I was now sure I had accurately followed your thoughts. But in that scathing tirade about Chantilly that appeared in yesterday’s ‘Musée,’ the satirist made some disgraceful references to the cobbler changing his name when he took up the buskin, quoting a Latin line we’ve often talked about. I mean the line

Perdidit antiquum litera prima sonum.

Lost the first sound of the ancient letter.

“I had told you that this was in reference to Orion, formerly written Urion; and, from certain pungencies connected with this explanation, I was aware that you could not have forgotten it. It was clear, therefore, that you would not fail to combine the two ideas of Orion and Chantilly. That you did combine them I saw by the character of the smile which passed over your lips. You thought of the poor cobbler’s immolation. So far, you had been stooping in your gait; but now I saw you draw yourself up to your full height. I was then sure that you reflected upon the diminutive figure of Chantilly. At this point I interrupted your meditations to remark that as, in fact, he was a very little fellow—that Chantilly—he would do better at the Théâtre des Variétés.”

“I had mentioned that this was about Orion, previously called Urion; and, because of certain details connected to this explanation, I knew you couldn’t have forgotten it. It was clear, then, that you would naturally connect the two ideas of Orion and Chantilly. I noticed you made that connection by the smile that crossed your lips. You were thinking about the poor cobbler’s sacrifice. Until that moment, you had been hunched over, but then I saw you stand up straight. I was certain you were considering the tiny figure of Chantilly. At this point, I interrupted your thoughts to point out that since he really was a very small guy—that Chantilly—he would be better suited for the Théâtre des Variétés.”

Not long after this, we were looking over an evening edition of the “Gazette des Tribunaux,” when the following paragraphs arrested our attention.

Not long after this, we were reading an evening edition of the “Gazette des Tribunaux,” when the following paragraphs caught our attention.

Extraordinary Murders.—This morning, about three o’clock, the inhabitants of the Quartier St. Roch were aroused from sleep by a succession of terrific shrieks, issuing, apparently, from the fourth story of a house in the Rue Morgue, known to be in the sole occupancy of one Madame L’Espanaye, and her daughter, Mademoiselle Camille L’Espanaye. After some delay, occasioned by a fruitless attempt to procure admission in the usual manner, the gateway was broken in with a crowbar, and eight or ten of the neighbors entered accompanied by two gendarmes. By this time the cries had ceased; but, as the party rushed up the first flight of stairs, two or more rough voices in angry contention were distinguished and seemed to proceed from the upper part of the house. As the second landing was reached, these sounds, also, had ceased and everything remained perfectly quiet. The party spread themselves and hurried from room to room. Upon arriving at a large back chamber in the fourth story, (the door of which, being found locked, with the key inside, was forced open,) a spectacle presented itself which struck every one present not less with horror than with astonishment.

Extraordinary Murders.—This morning, around three o’clock, the residents of the Quartier St. Roch were jolted from their sleep by a series of terrifying screams coming, it seemed, from the fourth floor of a building on Rue Morgue, which was known to be home solely to Madame L’Espanaye and her daughter, Mademoiselle Camille L’Espanaye. After some delays due to a failed attempt to gain entry in the usual way, the gate was broken open with a crowbar, and eight or ten neighbors entered along with two gendarmes. By that time, the screams had stopped; however, as the group rushed up the first flight of stairs, two or more rough voices in heated argument could be heard, seemingly coming from the upper part of the house. Once they reached the second landing, those sounds had also faded away, and everything was completely silent. The group spread out and hurried from room to room. When they got to a large back room on the fourth floor, (the door was found locked with the key still inside, and they forced it open), a scene that shocked everyone present with both horror and amazement unfolded before them.

“The apartment was in the wildest disorder—the furniture broken and thrown about in all directions. There was only one bedstead; and from this the bed had been removed, and thrown into the middle of the floor. On a chair lay a razor, besmeared with blood. On the hearth were two or three long and thick tresses of grey human hair, also dabbled in blood, and seeming to have been pulled out by the roots. Upon the floor were found four Napoleons, an ear-ring of topaz, three large silver spoons, three smaller of métal d’Alger, and two bags, containing nearly four thousand francs in gold. The drawers of a bureau, which stood in one corner were open, and had been, apparently, rifled, although many articles still remained in them. A small iron safe was discovered under the bed (not under the bedstead). It was open, with the key still in the door. It had no contents beyond a few old letters, and other papers of little consequence.

The apartment was in complete chaos—the furniture was broken and scattered everywhere. There was only one bed frame, and the mattress had been taken off and thrown in the middle of the floor. A razor, smeared with blood, lay on a chair. On the hearth were two or three long, thick strands of gray human hair, also stained with blood, and appeared to have been yanked out by the roots. On the floor, there were four Napoleons, a topaz earring, three large silver spoons, three smaller ones made of métal d’Alger, and two bags containing almost four thousand francs in gold. The drawers of a bureau in one corner were open and looked like they had been searched, though many items were still left inside. A small iron safe was found under the bed (not under the bed frame). It was open, with the key still in the lock, and had nothing inside except a few old letters and some other insignificant papers.

“Of Madame L’Espanaye no traces were here seen; but an unusual quantity of soot being observed in the fire-place, a search was made in the chimney, and (horrible to relate!) the corpse of the daughter, head downward, was dragged therefrom; it having been thus forced up the narrow aperture for a considerable distance. The body was quite warm. Upon examining it, many excoriations were perceived, no doubt occasioned by the violence with which it had been thrust up and disengaged. Upon the face were many severe scratches, and, upon the throat, dark bruises, and deep indentations of finger nails, as if the deceased had been throttled to death.

“Madame L’Espanaye was nowhere to be found; however, a large amount of soot was noticed in the fireplace, prompting a search of the chimney. (Horribly enough!) the body of her daughter, head down, was pulled out from there; it had been forced up the narrow opening for quite a distance. The body was still warm. Upon inspection, many abrasions were visible, likely caused by the force with which it had been pushed up and removed. There were several deep scratches on the face, dark bruises on the throat, and deep imprints of fingernails, as if the victim had been strangled to death."

“After a thorough investigation of every portion of the house, without farther discovery, the party made its way into a small paved yard in the rear of the building, where lay the corpse of the old lady, with her throat so entirely cut that, upon an attempt to raise her, the head fell off. The body, as well as the head, was fearfully mutilated—the former so much so as scarcely to retain any semblance of humanity.

"After a careful search of every part of the house, with no further findings, the group headed into a small paved yard at the back of the building, where they found the body of the old lady, her throat so completely cut that when they tried to lift her, her head fell off. Both the body and the head were horrifically mangled—the body to the extent that it barely resembled a human anymore."

“To this horrible mystery there is not as yet, we believe, the slightest clew.”

“To this terrible mystery, we believe there is still not the slightest clue.”

The next day’s paper had these additional particulars.

The next day's paper had these extra details.

The Tragedy in the Rue Morgue.—Many individuals have been examined in relation to this most extraordinary and frightful affair” [The word ‘affaire’ has not yet, in France, that levity of import which it conveys with us], “but nothing whatever has transpired to throw light upon it. We give below all the material testimony elicited.

The Tragedy in the Rue Morgue.—Many people have been questioned about this extremely unusual and horrifying incident” [The word ‘affaire’ doesn’t yet carry the same casual meaning in France as it does for us], “but nothing has come to light that clarifies the situation. We provide below all the key evidence gathered.

Pauline Dubourg, laundress, deposes that she has known both the deceased for three years, having washed for them during that period. The old lady and her daughter seemed on good terms—very affectionate towards each other. They were excellent pay. Could not speak in regard to their mode or means of living. Believed that Madame L. told fortunes for a living. Was reputed to have money put by. Never met any persons in the house when she called for the clothes or took them home. Was sure that they had no servant in employ. There appeared to be no furniture in any part of the building except in the fourth story.

Pauline Dubourg, a laundress, states that she has known both the deceased for three years, having done their laundry during that time. The old lady and her daughter seemed to have a good relationship—very close and affectionate towards each other. They were great at paying. She couldn’t comment on their way of living or financial situation. She thought that Madame L. made a living by telling fortunes. It was believed she had some savings. She never encountered anyone else in the house when she picked up or dropped off the clothes. She was certain they didn’t have a servant. There didn’t seem to be any furniture in any part of the building except on the fourth floor.

Pierre Moreau, tobacconist, deposes that he has been in the habit of selling small quantities of tobacco and snuff to Madame L’Espanaye for nearly four years. Was born in the neighborhood, and has always resided there. The deceased and her daughter had occupied the house in which the corpses were found, for more than six years. It was formerly occupied by a jeweller, who under-let the upper rooms to various persons. The house was the property of Madame L. She became dissatisfied with the abuse of the premises by her tenant, and moved into them herself, refusing to let any portion. The old lady was childish. Witness had seen the daughter some five or six times during the six years. The two lived an exceedingly retired life—were reputed to have money. Had heard it said among the neighbors that Madame L. told fortunes—did not believe it. Had never seen any person enter the door except the old lady and her daughter, a porter once or twice, and a physician some eight or ten times.

Pierre Moreau, the tobacconist, states that he has been selling small amounts of tobacco and snuff to Madame L’Espanaye for almost four years. He was born in the area and has always lived there. The deceased and her daughter had lived in the house where the bodies were found for over six years. It used to be occupied by a jeweler, who rented out the upper rooms to different people. The house belonged to Madame L. She became frustrated with how her tenant used the property and moved in herself, refusing to rent out any part of it. The old lady had a childish nature. The witness had seen the daughter about five or six times over the six years. The two lived a very private life and were rumored to have money. He had heard from neighbors that Madame L. told fortunes, but he didn't believe it. He had never seen anyone enter the door except the old lady and her daughter, a porter a couple of times, and a doctor about eight or ten times.

“Many other persons, neighbors, gave evidence to the same effect. No one was spoken of as frequenting the house. It was not known whether there were any living connexions of Madame L. and her daughter. The shutters of the front windows were seldom opened. Those in the rear were always closed, with the exception of the large back room, fourth story. The house was a good house—not very old.

“Many other people, neighbors, testified to the same thing. No one mentioned visiting the house. It was unclear if Madame L. and her daughter had any living relatives. The shutters on the front windows were rarely opened. Those in the back were always closed, except for the large room on the fourth floor. The house was in good condition—not very old.”

Isidore Musèt, gendarme, deposes that he was called to the house about three o’clock in the morning, and found some twenty or thirty persons at the gateway, endeavoring to gain admittance. Forced it open, at length, with a bayonet—not with a crowbar. Had but little difficulty in getting it open, on account of its being a double or folding gate, and bolted neither at bottom not top. The shrieks were continued until the gate was forced—and then suddenly ceased. They seemed to be screams of some person (or persons) in great agony—were loud and drawn out, not short and quick. Witness led the way up stairs. Upon reaching the first landing, heard two voices in loud and angry contention—the one a gruff voice, the other much shriller—a very strange voice. Could distinguish some words of the former, which was that of a Frenchman. Was positive that it was not a woman’s voice. Could distinguish the words ‘sacré’ and ‘diable.’ The shrill voice was that of a foreigner. Could not be sure whether it was the voice of a man or of a woman. Could not make out what was said, but believed the language to be Spanish. The state of the room and of the bodies was described by this witness as we described them yesterday.

Isidore Musèt, police officer, confirms that he was called to the house around three in the morning and found about twenty or thirty people at the gate, trying to get in. He forced it open eventually with a bayonet—not with a crowbar. There wasn’t much difficulty in getting it open since it was a double or folding gate and wasn’t bolted at the top or bottom. The screams continued until the gate was forced open—and then suddenly stopped. They sounded like someone (or some people) in intense agony—loud and long, not short and quick. Witness led the way upstairs. When reaching the first landing, he heard two voices in a loud and angry argument—one was a deep voice, the other much higher—a very peculiar voice. He could make out some words from the former, which belonged to a Frenchman. He was certain it wasn’t a woman’s voice. He could pick out the words ‘sacré’ and ‘diable.’ The high voice belonged to a foreigner. He couldn’t tell if it was a man’s or a woman’s voice. He wasn’t sure what was said, but he thought the language was Spanish. The condition of the room and the bodies was described by this witness as we mentioned yesterday.

Henri Duval, a neighbor, and by trade a silver-smith, deposes that he was one of the party who first entered the house. Corroborates the testimony of Musèt in general. As soon as they forced an entrance, they reclosed the door, to keep out the crowd, which collected very fast, notwithstanding the lateness of the hour. The shrill voice, this witness thinks, was that of an Italian. Was certain it was not French. Could not be sure that it was a man’s voice. It might have been a woman’s. Was not acquainted with the Italian language. Could not distinguish the words, but was convinced by the intonation that the speaker was an Italian. Knew Madame L. and her daughter. Had conversed with both frequently. Was sure that the shrill voice was not that of either of the deceased.

Henri Duval, a neighbor and a silversmith by trade, states that he was one of the first people to enter the house. He backs up Musèt's testimony in general. As soon as they got in, they closed the door to keep out the crowd, which gathered quickly despite the late hour. This witness believes the shrill voice was that of an Italian. He was certain it wasn't French. He couldn't be sure if it was a man's voice; it might have been a woman's. He didn't know Italian, so he couldn't make out the words, but he was convinced by the tone that the speaker was Italian. He was familiar with Madame L. and her daughter and had spoken with both of them often. He was sure that the shrill voice did not belong to either of the deceased.

“——Odenheimer, restaurateur. This witness volunteered his testimony. Not speaking French, was examined through an interpreter. Is a native of Amsterdam. Was passing the house at the time of the shrieks. They lasted for several minutes—probably ten. They were long and loud—very awful and distressing. Was one of those who entered the building. Corroborated the previous evidence in every respect but one. Was sure that the shrill voice was that of a man—of a Frenchman. Could not distinguish the words uttered. They were loud and quick—unequal—spoken apparently in fear as well as in anger. The voice was harsh—not so much shrill as harsh. Could not call it a shrill voice. The gruff voice said repeatedly ‘sacré,’ ‘diable,’ and once ‘mon Dieu.

“——Odenheimer, restaurateur. This witness offered his testimony voluntarily. Not speaking French, he was examined through an interpreter. He is a native of Amsterdam. He was passing by the house when the screams happened. They lasted for several minutes—probably ten. They were long and loud—very terrifying and distressing. He was one of those who entered the building. He confirmed the previous evidence in every way except one. He was certain that the high-pitched voice belonged to a man—a Frenchman. He could not make out the words spoken. They were loud and rapid—uneven—seemingly expressed in both fear and anger. The voice was harsh—not so much high-pitched as gruff. He wouldn't call it a high-pitched voice. The gruff voice repeated ‘sacré,’ ‘diable,’ and once ‘mon Dieu.’”

Jules Mignaud, banker, of the firm of Mignaud et Fils, Rue Deloraine. Is the elder Mignaud. Madame L’Espanaye had some property. Had opened an account with his banking house in the spring of the year—(eight years previously). Made frequent deposits in small sums. Had checked for nothing until the third day before her death, when she took out in person the sum of 4000 francs. This sum was paid in gold, and a clerk went home with the money.

Jules Mignaud, banker at the firm of Mignaud et Fils, Rue Deloraine. He is the older Mignaud. Madame L’Espanaye owned some property and opened an account with his bank in the spring of the year—(eight years earlier). She made regular small deposits but hadn’t withdrawn anything until three days before her death, when she personally withdrew 4000 francs. This amount was given in gold, and a clerk accompanied her home with the money.

Adolphe Le Bon, clerk to Mignaud et Fils, deposes that on the day in question, about noon, he accompanied Madame L’Espanaye to her residence with the 4000 francs, put up in two bags. Upon the door being opened, Mademoiselle L. appeared and took from his hands one of the bags, while the old lady relieved him of the other. He then bowed and departed. Did not see any person in the street at the time. It is a by-street—very lonely.

Adolphe Le Bon, a clerk at Mignaud et Fils, states that on the day in question, around noon, he accompanied Madame L’Espanaye to her home with the 4000 francs, packed in two bags. When the door was opened, Mademoiselle L. appeared and took one of the bags from him, while the elderly lady took the other. He then bowed and left. He didn’t see anyone else on the street at that time. It’s a side street—very quiet.

William Bird, tailor deposes that he was one of the party who entered the house. Is an Englishman. Has lived in Paris two years. Was one of the first to ascend the stairs. Heard the voices in contention. The gruff voice was that of a Frenchman. Could make out several words, but cannot now remember all. Heard distinctly ‘sacré’ and ‘mon Dieu.’ There was a sound at the moment as if of several persons struggling—a scraping and scuffling sound. The shrill voice was very loud—louder than the gruff one. Is sure that it was not the voice of an Englishman. Appeared to be that of a German. Might have been a woman’s voice. Does not understand German.

William Bird, a tailor, states that he was part of the group that entered the house. He is English and has been living in Paris for two years. He was one of the first to go up the stairs. He heard voices arguing. The deep voice belonged to a Frenchman. He could catch a few words but can’t remember them all now. He distinctly heard ‘sacré’ and ‘mon Dieu.’ At that time, there was a noise that sounded like several people struggling—a scraping and scuffling noise. The high-pitched voice was very loud—louder than the deep one. He is sure it was not the voice of an Englishman. It seemed to be that of a German, and it might have been a woman’s voice. He does not understand German.

“Four of the above-named witnesses, being recalled, deposed that the door of the chamber in which was found the body of Mademoiselle L. was locked on the inside when the party reached it. Every thing was perfectly silent—no groans or noises of any kind. Upon forcing the door no person was seen. The windows, both of the back and front room, were down and firmly fastened from within. A door between the two rooms was closed, but not locked. The door leading from the front room into the passage was locked, with the key on the inside. A small room in the front of the house, on the fourth story, at the head of the passage was open, the door being ajar. This room was crowded with old beds, boxes, and so forth. These were carefully removed and searched. There was not an inch of any portion of the house which was not carefully searched. Sweeps were sent up and down the chimneys. The house was a four story one, with garrets (mansardes.) A trap-door on the roof was nailed down very securely—did not appear to have been opened for years. The time elapsing between the hearing of the voices in contention and the breaking open of the room door, was variously stated by the witnesses. Some made it as short as three minutes—some as long as five. The door was opened with difficulty.

Four of the witnesses mentioned earlier testified that the door to the room where Mademoiselle L.’s body was found was locked from the inside when they got there. It was completely silent—no groans or sounds at all. When they forced the door open, no one was inside. The windows in both the front and back rooms were closed and securely fastened from the inside. A door between the two rooms was closed but not locked. The door from the front room to the hallway was locked, with the key inside. A small room at the front of the house, on the fourth floor, at the end of the hallway was open, with the door slightly ajar. This room was filled with old beds, boxes, and so on. All of these were carefully moved and searched. Every inch of the house was thoroughly searched. They also checked up and down the chimneys. The house was four stories tall, with garrets (mansardes.) A trapdoor on the roof was securely nailed down and appeared to have been unopened for years. The time between hearing the voices during the argument and breaking down the room door was reported differently by the witnesses. Some said it was as short as three minutes, while others said it was as long as five. The door was difficult to open.

Alfonzo Garcio, undertaker, deposes that he resides in the Rue Morgue. Is a native of Spain. Was one of the party who entered the house. Did not proceed up stairs. Is nervous, and was apprehensive of the consequences of agitation. Heard the voices in contention. The gruff voice was that of a Frenchman. Could not distinguish what was said. The shrill voice was that of an Englishman—is sure of this. Does not understand the English language, but judges by the intonation.

Alfonzo Garcio, the undertaker, states that he lives on Rue Morgue. He is originally from Spain. He was part of the group that went into the house. He did not go upstairs. He felt nervous and worried about the effects of being agitated. He heard voices arguing. The deep voice belonged to a Frenchman. He couldn't make out the words. The high-pitched voice was that of an Englishman—he is certain of this. He doesn't know English, but he can tell by the tone.

Alberto Montani, confectioner, deposes that he was among the first to ascend the stairs. Heard the voices in question. The gruff voice was that of a Frenchman. Distinguished several words. The speaker appeared to be expostulating. Could not make out the words of the shrill voice. Spoke quick and unevenly. Thinks it the voice of a Russian. Corroborates the general testimony. Is an Italian. Never conversed with a native of Russia.

Alberto Montani, a pastry chef, states that he was one of the first to go up the stairs. He heard the voices in question. The deep voice belonged to a Frenchman. He recognized several words. The speaker seemed to be arguing. He couldn’t catch the words of the high-pitched voice. It spoke fast and inconsistently. He thinks it was the voice of a Russian. He supports the overall testimony. He is Italian and has never talked to a native of Russia.

“Several witnesses, recalled, here testified that the chimneys of all the rooms on the fourth story were too narrow to admit the passage of a human being. By ‘sweeps’ were meant cylindrical sweeping brushes, such as are employed by those who clean chimneys. These brushes were passed up and down every flue in the house. There is no back passage by which any one could have descended while the party proceeded up stairs. The body of Mademoiselle L’Espanaye was so firmly wedged in the chimney that it could not be got down until four or five of the party united their strength.

“Several witnesses testified here that the chimneys in all the rooms on the fourth floor were too narrow for a person to fit through. By ‘sweeps,’ they meant cylindrical brushes used to clean chimneys. These brushes were sent up and down every flue in the house. There was no back passage that anyone could have used to go downstairs while the group went upstairs. Mademoiselle L’Espanaye's body was so tightly wedged in the chimney that it couldn’t be removed until four or five people worked together to get it down.”

Paul Dumas, physician, deposes that he was called to view the bodies about day-break. They were both then lying on the sacking of the bedstead in the chamber where Mademoiselle L. was found. The corpse of the young lady was much bruised and excoriated. The fact that it had been thrust up the chimney would sufficiently account for these appearances. The throat was greatly chafed. There were several deep scratches just below the chin, together with a series of livid spots which were evidently the impression of fingers. The face was fearfully discolored, and the eye-balls protruded. The tongue had been partially bitten through. A large bruise was discovered upon the pit of the stomach, produced, apparently, by the pressure of a knee. In the opinion of M. Dumas, Mademoiselle L’Espanaye had been throttled to death by some person or persons unknown. The corpse of the mother was horribly mutilated. All the bones of the right leg and arm were more or less shattered. The left tibia much splintered, as well as all the ribs of the left side. Whole body dreadfully bruised and discolored. It was not possible to say how the injuries had been inflicted. A heavy club of wood, or a broad bar of iron—a chair—any large, heavy, and obtuse weapon would have produced such results, if wielded by the hands of a very powerful man. No woman could have inflicted the blows with any weapon. The head of the deceased, when seen by witness, was entirely separated from the body, and was also greatly shattered. The throat had evidently been cut with some very sharp instrument—probably with a razor.

Paul Dumas, a doctor, states that he was called to examine the bodies at daybreak. They were both found lying on the bed frame in the room where Mademoiselle L. was discovered. The young lady’s body was heavily bruised and scratched. The fact that it had been pushed up the chimney would explain these injuries. The throat was severely irritated. There were several deep scratches just under the chin, along with a series of dark spots that clearly showed finger marks. The face was horribly discolored, and the eyes were bulging. The tongue had been partly bitten through. A large bruise was found on the stomach area, likely caused by someone’s knee pressing down. In M. Dumas's opinion, Mademoiselle L’Espanaye had been strangled to death by an unknown person or persons. The mother’s body was gruesomely mutilated. All the bones in the right leg and arm were shattered to varying degrees. The left tibia was heavily splintered, as were all the ribs on the left side. The entire body was badly bruised and discolored. It was impossible to determine how the injuries were inflicted. A heavy wooden club, a broad iron bar, or a chair—any large, heavy, and blunt instrument could have caused such damage if used by a very strong person. No woman could have delivered the blows with any weapon. The deceased's head, when seen by the witness, was completely severed from the body and was also severely damaged. The throat had clearly been cut with a very sharp object—probably a razor.

Alexandre Etienne, surgeon, was called with M. Dumas to view the bodies. Corroborated the testimony, and the opinions of M. Dumas.

Alexandre Etienne, the surgeon, was summoned along with M. Dumas to examine the bodies. He confirmed the testimony and the views of M. Dumas.

“Nothing farther of importance was elicited, although several other persons were examined. A murder so mysterious, and so perplexing in all its particulars, was never before committed in Paris—if indeed a murder has been committed at all. The police are entirely at fault—an unusual occurrence in affairs of this nature. There is not, however, the shadow of a clew apparent.”

“Nothing else significant came to light, even though several other people were questioned. A murder this mysterious and confusing in every detail has never happened in Paris—if a murder has even happened at all. The police have completely dropped the ball—something that rarely happens in cases like this. However, there isn’t even the slightest hint of a clue in sight.”

The evening edition of the paper stated that the greatest excitement still continued in the Quartier St. Roch—that the premises in question had been carefully re-searched, and fresh examinations of witnesses instituted, but all to no purpose. A postscript, however, mentioned that Adolphe Le Bon had been arrested and imprisoned—although nothing appeared to criminate him, beyond the facts already detailed.

The evening edition of the paper reported that the biggest excitement was still happening in the Quartier St. Roch—that the places involved had been thoroughly searched again, and new witness interviews had been conducted, but it was all for nothing. A postscript, however, noted that Adolphe Le Bon had been arrested and jailed—though nothing seemed to incriminate him, aside from the facts already mentioned.

Dupin seemed singularly interested in the progress of this affair—at least so I judged from his manner, for he made no comments. It was only after the announcement that Le Bon had been imprisoned, that he asked me my opinion respecting the murders.

Dupin seemed particularly interested in the developments of this case—at least that's how I interpreted his behavior, since he didn't make any comments. It was only after hearing that Le Bon had been arrested that he asked me what I thought about the murders.

I could merely agree with all Paris in considering them an insoluble mystery. I saw no means by which it would be possible to trace the murderer.

I could only agree with everyone in Paris that it was an unsolvable mystery. I saw no way to track down the murderer.

“We must not judge of the means,” said Dupin, “by this shell of an examination. The Parisian police, so much extolled for acumen, are cunning, but no more. There is no method in their proceedings, beyond the method of the moment. They make a vast parade of measures; but, not unfrequently, these are so ill adapted to the objects proposed, as to put us in mind of Monsieur Jourdain’s calling for his robe-de-chambre—pour mieux entendre la musique. The results attained by them are not unfrequently surprising, but, for the most part, are brought about by simple diligence and activity. When these qualities are unavailing, their schemes fail. Vidocq, for example, was a good guesser and a persevering man. But, without educated thought, he erred continually by the very intensity of his investigations. He impaired his vision by holding the object too close. He might see, perhaps, one or two points with unusual clearness, but in so doing he, necessarily, lost sight of the matter as a whole. Thus there is such a thing as being too profound. Truth is not always in a well. In fact, as regards the more important knowledge, I do believe that she is invariably superficial. The depth lies in the valleys where we seek her, and not upon the mountain-tops where she is found. The modes and sources of this kind of error are well typified in the contemplation of the heavenly bodies. To look at a star by glances—to view it in a side-long way, by turning toward it the exterior portions of the retina (more susceptible of feeble impressions of light than the interior), is to behold the star distinctly—is to have the best appreciation of its lustre—a lustre which grows dim just in proportion as we turn our vision fully upon it. A greater number of rays actually fall upon the eye in the latter case, but, in the former, there is the more refined capacity for comprehension. By undue profundity we perplex and enfeeble thought; and it is possible to make even Venus herself vanish from the firmament by a scrutiny too sustained, too concentrated, or too direct.

“We shouldn’t judge the methods,” Dupin said, “by this superficial examination. The Parisian police, often praised for their sharpness, are clever but nothing more. They lack a consistent approach in their actions, focusing only on immediate solutions. They put on a big show with their measures, but often these are poorly suited to their goals, reminding us of Monsieur Jourdain asking for his robe to better enjoy the music. The outcomes they achieve can be surprising, but mostly they come from simple hard work and activity. When those traits don’t work, their plans fail. For instance, Vidocq was a good guesser and determined, but without educated thinking, he frequently made mistakes because he was too intense in his investigations. He compromised his perspective by looking too closely at the object. He might clearly see one or two points, but in doing so, he lost sight of the bigger picture. There's such a thing as being too deep. Truth isn’t always found at great depths. In fact, when it comes to the more essential knowledge, I believe it is usually quite superficial. The real substance lies in the valleys where we hunt for it, not on the mountaintops where we find it. The ways and causes of this kind of error are well illustrated by observing celestial bodies. To catch a glimpse of a star—by viewing it sideways, using the outer parts of the retina that are more sensitive to faint light—is to see the star clearly and appreciate its brightness—a brightness that dims the more we look directly at it. More rays do reach the eye in the latter case, but in the former, there’s a greater ability to understand. By being overly profound, we complicate and weaken our thoughts; it’s even possible to make Venus herself disappear from the sky with too much intense, focused, or direct scrutiny.”

“As for these murders, let us enter into some examinations for ourselves, before we make up an opinion respecting them. An inquiry will afford us amusement,” [I thought this an odd term, so applied, but said nothing] “and, besides, Le Bon once rendered me a service for which I am not ungrateful. We will go and see the premises with our own eyes. I know G——, the Prefect of Police, and shall have no difficulty in obtaining the necessary permission.”

“As for these murders, let’s take a closer look before we form an opinion about them. This investigation will be entertaining,” [I thought this was a strange way to put it, but I didn't say anything] “and besides, Le Bon once did me a favor that I’m grateful for. We’ll go and check out the scene ourselves. I know G——, the Police Chief, and I won’t have any trouble getting the necessary permission.”

The permission was obtained, and we proceeded at once to the Rue Morgue. This is one of those miserable thoroughfares which intervene between the Rue Richelieu and the Rue St. Roch. It was late in the afternoon when we reached it, as this quarter is at a great distance from that in which we resided. The house was readily found; for there were still many persons gazing up at the closed shutters, with an objectless curiosity, from the opposite side of the way. It was an ordinary Parisian house, with a gateway, on one side of which was a glazed watch-box, with a sliding panel in the window, indicating a loge de concierge. Before going in we walked up the street, turned down an alley, and then, again turning, passed in the rear of the building—Dupin, meanwhile examining the whole neighborhood, as well as the house, with a minuteness of attention for which I could see no possible object.

We got the permission and immediately headed to Rue Morgue. This is one of those grim streets that lies between Rue Richelieu and Rue St. Roch. It was late in the afternoon when we arrived since this area is quite far from where we lived. We quickly spotted the house because there were still many people staring up at the closed shutters with pointless curiosity from across the street. It was a typical Parisian house, featuring a gateway, next to which was a glassed-in watchman's booth, with a sliding panel in the window indicating a loge de concierge. Before entering, we walked up the street, turned down an alley, and then turned again to go around the back of the building. Meanwhile, Dupin was carefully examining the entire neighborhood as well as the house, with a level of attention I couldn't understand the reason for.

Retracing our steps, we came again to the front of the dwelling, rang, and, having shown our credentials, were admitted by the agents in charge. We went up stairs—into the chamber where the body of Mademoiselle L’Espanaye had been found, and where both the deceased still lay. The disorders of the room had, as usual, been suffered to exist. I saw nothing beyond what had been stated in the “Gazette des Tribunaux.” Dupin scrutinized every thing—not excepting the bodies of the victims. We then went into the other rooms, and into the yard; a gendarme accompanying us throughout. The examination occupied us until dark, when we took our departure. On our way home my companion stepped in for a moment at the office of one of the daily papers.

Retracing our steps, we arrived again at the front of the house, rang the bell, and after showing our credentials, were let in by the agents in charge. We went upstairs into the room where Mademoiselle L’Espanaye's body had been discovered, and where both victims still lay. The disarray in the room had, as usual, been allowed to remain. I noticed nothing beyond what had been reported in the “Gazette des Tribunaux.” Dupin examined everything, including the bodies of the victims. We then moved to the other rooms and the yard, accompanied the whole time by a gendarme. The investigation kept us busy until dark, when we decided to leave. On our way home, my companion briefly stopped at the office of one of the daily newspapers.

I have said that the whims of my friend were manifold, and that Je les ménageais:—for this phrase there is no English equivalent. It was his humor, now, to decline all conversation on the subject of the murder, until about noon the next day. He then asked me, suddenly, if I had observed any thing peculiar at the scene of the atrocity.

I mentioned that my friend's moods were varied, and that Je les ménageais:—there's no English phrase that captures that. He decided, for some reason, to avoid any conversation about the murder until around noon the next day. Then he suddenly asked me if I had noticed anything peculiar at the crime scene.

There was something in his manner of emphasizing the word “peculiar,” which caused me to shudder, without knowing why.

There was something in the way he emphasized the word “peculiar” that made me shudder, though I couldn't quite say why.

“No, nothing peculiar,” I said; “nothing more, at least, than we both saw stated in the paper.”

“No, nothing strange,” I said; “nothing more, at least, than we both saw reported in the newspaper.”

“The ‘Gazette,’” he replied, “has not entered, I fear, into the unusual horror of the thing. But dismiss the idle opinions of this print. It appears to me that this mystery is considered insoluble, for the very reason which should cause it to be regarded as easy of solution—I mean for the outré character of its features. The police are confounded by the seeming absence of motive—not for the murder itself—but for the atrocity of the murder. They are puzzled, too, by the seeming impossibility of reconciling the voices heard in contention, with the facts that no one was discovered up stairs but the assassinated Mademoiselle L’Espanaye, and that there were no means of egress without the notice of the party ascending. The wild disorder of the room; the corpse thrust, with the head downward, up the chimney; the frightful mutilation of the body of the old lady; these considerations, with those just mentioned, and others which I need not mention, have sufficed to paralyze the powers, by putting completely at fault the boasted acumen, of the government agents. They have fallen into the gross but common error of confounding the unusual with the abstruse. But it is by these deviations from the plane of the ordinary, that reason feels its way, if at all, in its search for the true. In investigations such as we are now pursuing, it should not be so much asked ‘what has occurred,’ as ‘what has occurred that has never occurred before.’ In fact, the facility with which I shall arrive, or have arrived, at the solution of this mystery, is in the direct ratio of its apparent insolubility in the eyes of the police.”

“The ‘Gazette,’” he replied, “hasn't really grasped the unusual horror of this situation, I’m afraid. But let’s ignore the careless opinions of this publication. It seems to me that this mystery is thought to be unsolvable for the very reason that it should be seen as straightforward—I’m referring to the bizarre nature of its elements. The police are baffled by the apparent lack of motive—not for the murder itself—but for the brutality of it. They’re also confused by the seeming impossibility of matching the voices they heard arguing with the fact that the only person found upstairs was the murdered Mademoiselle L’Espanaye, and that there was no way for anyone to leave without being noticed by the person coming up. The chaos in the room; the body shoved headfirst up the chimney; the horrific disfigurement of the old lady’s body—these aspects, along with what I've just mentioned, and others that I won’t get into, have paralyzed the capabilities of the government agents, completely stumping their supposed sharpness. They’ve made the common mistake of confusing the unusual with the incomprehensible. But it's through these deviations from the ordinary that reason can find its way, if at all, in the search for the truth. In investigations like the one we’re conducting now, we should focus less on ‘what happened,’ and more on ‘what happened that has never happened before.’ In fact, the ease with which I will arrive, or have already arrived, at the solution of this mystery is directly related to how insoluble it seems to the police.”

I stared at the speaker in mute astonishment.

I stared at the speaker in silent shock.

“I am now awaiting,” continued he, looking toward the door of our apartment—“I am now awaiting a person who, although perhaps not the perpetrator of these butcheries, must have been in some measure implicated in their perpetration. Of the worst portion of the crimes committed, it is probable that he is innocent. I hope that I am right in this supposition; for upon it I build my expectation of reading the entire riddle. I look for the man here—in this room—every moment. It is true that he may not arrive; but the probability is that he will. Should he come, it will be necessary to detain him. Here are pistols; and we both know how to use them when occasion demands their use.”

“I’m currently waiting,” he said, glancing at the door of our apartment, “for someone who, while maybe not directly responsible for these murders, must have had some involvement in them. It's likely he’s innocent of the worst of the crimes. I hope I’m correct in this assumption, as it's the basis for my expectation of figuring out the whole mystery. I'm expecting the man to be here—in this room—at any moment. It’s true that he might not show up, but the odds are in favor of him coming. If he does arrive, we’ll need to hold him here. I have pistols, and we both know how to use them if the situation calls for it.”

I took the pistols, scarcely knowing what I did, or believing what I heard, while Dupin went on, very much as if in a soliloquy. I have already spoken of his abstract manner at such times. His discourse was addressed to myself; but his voice, although by no means loud, had that intonation which is commonly employed in speaking to some one at a great distance. His eyes, vacant in expression, regarded only the wall.

I took the guns, barely realizing what I was doing or believing what I was hearing, while Dupin continued, almost as if he were talking to himself. I've mentioned his detached style during these moments. He was speaking to me, but his voice, although not loud, had that tone usually used when addressing someone far away. His eyes, blank in expression, focused only on the wall.

“That the voices heard in contention,” he said, “by the party upon the stairs, were not the voices of the women themselves, was fully proved by the evidence. This relieves us of all doubt upon the question whether the old lady could have first destroyed the daughter and afterward have committed suicide. I speak of this point chiefly for the sake of method; for the strength of Madame L’Espanaye would have been utterly unequal to the task of thrusting her daughter’s corpse up the chimney as it was found; and the nature of the wounds upon her own person entirely preclude the idea of self-destruction. Murder, then, has been committed by some third party; and the voices of this third party were those heard in contention. Let me now advert—not to the whole testimony respecting these voices—but to what was peculiar in that testimony. Did you observe any thing peculiar about it?”

“That the voices heard arguing,” he said, “by the group on the stairs, were not the voices of the women themselves, was fully demonstrated by the evidence. This removes any doubt about whether the elderly lady could have first killed her daughter and then committed suicide. I mention this mainly for clarity; the strength of Madame L’Espanaye would have been completely insufficient to push her daughter’s body up the chimney as it was found; and the nature of the wounds on her own body completely rules out the idea of suicide. So, murder was committed by some other person; and the voices of this third party were the ones heard arguing. Now, let me point out—not to the entire testimony about these voices—but to what was striking in that testimony. Did you notice anything unusual about it?”

I remarked that, while all the witnesses agreed in supposing the gruff voice to be that of a Frenchman, there was much disagreement in regard to the shrill, or, as one individual termed it, the harsh voice.

I noted that, while all the witnesses thought the gruff voice belonged to a Frenchman, there was a lot of disagreement about the shrill, or as one person called it, the harsh voice.

“That was the evidence itself,” said Dupin, “but it was not the peculiarity of the evidence. You have observed nothing distinctive. Yet there was something to be observed. The witnesses, as you remark, agreed about the gruff voice; they were here unanimous. But in regard to the shrill voice, the peculiarity is—not that they disagreed—but that, while an Italian, an Englishman, a Spaniard, a Hollander, and a Frenchman attempted to describe it, each one spoke of it as that of a foreigner. Each is sure that it was not the voice of one of his own countrymen. Each likens it—not to the voice of an individual of any nation with whose language he is conversant—but the converse. The Frenchman supposes it the voice of a Spaniard, and ‘might have distinguished some words had he been acquainted with the Spanish.’ The Dutchman maintains it to have been that of a Frenchman; but we find it stated that ‘not understanding French this witness was examined through an interpreter.’ The Englishman thinks it the voice of a German, and ‘does not understand German.’ The Spaniard ‘is sure’ that it was that of an Englishman, but ‘judges by the intonation’ altogether, ‘as he has no knowledge of the English.’ The Italian believes it the voice of a Russian, but ‘has never conversed with a native of Russia.’ A second Frenchman differs, moreover, with the first, and is positive that the voice was that of an Italian; but, not being cognizant of that tongue, is, like the Spaniard, ‘convinced by the intonation.’ Now, how strangely unusual must that voice have really been, about which such testimony as this could have been elicited!—in whose tones, even, denizens of the five great divisions of Europe could recognise nothing familiar! You will say that it might have been the voice of an Asiatic—of an African. Neither Asiatics nor Africans abound in Paris; but, without denying the inference, I will now merely call your attention to three points. The voice is termed by one witness ‘harsh rather than shrill.’ It is represented by two others to have been ‘quick and unequal.’ No words—no sounds resembling words—were by any witness mentioned as distinguishable.

"That was the evidence itself," Dupin said, "but it wasn't the unique aspect of the evidence. You haven't noticed anything special. Yet there was something to note. As you pointed out, the witnesses agreed on the gruff voice; they were all on the same page there. But when it comes to the shrill voice, the interesting thing is—not that they disagreed—but that, while an Italian, an Englishman, a Spaniard, a Dutchman, and a Frenchman tried to describe it, each one referred to it as that of a foreigner. Each one is certain that it wasn't the voice of someone from their own country. Each compares it—not to the voice of someone from any nation they understand—but the opposite. The Frenchman thinks it was the voice of a Spaniard and ‘might have recognized some words if he had known Spanish.’ The Dutchman insists it was a Frenchman’s voice; however, it’s noted that ‘not understanding French, this witness was examined through an interpreter.’ The Englishman thinks it was a German's voice and ‘does not understand German.’ The Spaniard ‘is sure’ it was an English voice, but ‘judges by the intonation’ alone, ‘as he has no knowledge of English.’ The Italian believes it was a Russian voice, but ‘has never spoken to a native of Russia.’ A second Frenchman disagrees with the first and is sure that the voice was Italian; yet, not knowing that language, like the Spaniard, he is ‘convinced by the intonation.’ Now, how oddly unusual must that voice have truly been for such testimony as this to have been given!—in whose tones, even, people from the five major regions of Europe could recognize nothing familiar! You might say it could have belonged to an Asian or an African. There aren't many Asians or Africans in Paris; but, without denying that possibility, I’ll now just point out three things. One witness described the voice as ‘harsh rather than shrill.’ Two others said it was ‘quick and unequal.’ No words—no sounds resembling words—were mentioned by any witness as being identifiable."

“I know not,” continued Dupin, “what impression I may have made, so far, upon your own understanding; but I do not hesitate to say that legitimate deductions even from this portion of the testimony—the portion respecting the gruff and shrill voices—are in themselves sufficient to engender a suspicion which should give direction to all farther progress in the investigation of the mystery. I said ‘legitimate deductions;’ but my meaning is not thus fully expressed. I designed to imply that the deductions are the sole proper ones, and that the suspicion arises inevitably from them as the single result. What the suspicion is, however, I will not say just yet. I merely wish you to bear in mind that, with myself, it was sufficiently forcible to give a definite form—a certain tendency—to my inquiries in the chamber.

"I don’t know," Dupin continued, "what impression I might have made on your understanding so far; but I won't hesitate to say that valid conclusions drawn from this part of the testimony—the part about the gruff and shrill voices—are enough to raise a suspicion that should guide all further progress in solving the mystery. I used the phrase 'valid conclusions;' but that doesn’t quite cover my meaning. I intended to suggest that these conclusions are the only correct ones, and that the suspicion arises inevitably from them as the sole outcome. What that suspicion is, however, I won’t reveal just yet. I just want you to keep in mind that, for me, it was compelling enough to shape a specific direction—a certain focus—for my inquiries in the chamber."

“Let us now transport ourselves, in fancy, to this chamber. What shall we first seek here? The means of egress employed by the murderers. It is not too much to say that neither of us believe in præternatural events. Madame and Mademoiselle L’Espanaye were not destroyed by spirits. The doers of the deed were material, and escaped materially. Then how? Fortunately, there is but one mode of reasoning upon the point, and that mode must lead us to a definite decision. Let us examine, each by each, the possible means of egress. It is clear that the assassins were in the room where Mademoiselle L’Espanaye was found, or at least in the room adjoining, when the party ascended the stairs. It is then only from these two apartments that we have to seek issues. The police have laid bare the floors, the ceilings, and the masonry of the walls, in every direction. No secret issues could have escaped their vigilance. But, not trusting to their eyes, I examined with my own. There were, then, no secret issues. Both doors leading from the rooms into the passage were securely locked, with the keys inside. Let us turn to the chimneys. These, although of ordinary width for some eight or ten feet above the hearths, will not admit, throughout their extent, the body of a large cat. The impossibility of egress, by means already stated, being thus absolute, we are reduced to the windows. Through those of the front room no one could have escaped without notice from the crowd in the street. The murderers must have passed, then, through those of the back room. Now, brought to this conclusion in so unequivocal a manner as we are, it is not our part, as reasoners, to reject it on account of apparent impossibilities. It is only left for us to prove that these apparent ‘impossibilities’ are, in reality, not such.

“Let’s now imagine ourselves in this room. What should we first look for here? The escape route used by the murderers. It’s safe to say that neither of us believes in supernatural events. Madame and Mademoiselle L’Espanaye were not killed by ghosts. The people who committed the crime were real, and they got away for real. So, how did they do it? Fortunately, there’s only one way to reason about this, and that way must lead us to a clear conclusion. Let’s examine, one by one, the possible exits. It’s clear that the killers were in the room where Mademoiselle L’Espanaye was found, or at least in the room next door, when the group came up the stairs. Therefore, we need to consider only these two rooms for escape routes. The police have thoroughly checked the floors, ceilings, and walls in every direction. No secret exits could have escaped their attention. But, not trusting their findings, I checked with my own eyes. There were, indeed, no secret exits. Both doors leading from the rooms into the hallway were securely locked, with the keys inside. Let’s look at the chimneys. Although they are of normal width for eight or ten feet above the hearths, they wouldn’t allow the body of a large cat to fit through. Since using the ways already mentioned is clearly impossible, we’re left with the windows. From the front room windows, no one could have escaped without being seen by the crowd on the street. The murderers must have gotten away through the back room windows. Now, having come to this conclusion in such a clear way, it’s not our job, as logical thinkers, to dismiss it because of apparent impossibilities. All we have left to do is prove that these so-called ‘impossibilities’ really aren’t such.

“There are two windows in the chamber. One of them is unobstructed by furniture, and is wholly visible. The lower portion of the other is hidden from view by the head of the unwieldy bedstead which is thrust close up against it. The former was found securely fastened from within. It resisted the utmost force of those who endeavored to raise it. A large gimlet-hole had been pierced in its frame to the left, and a very stout nail was found fitted therein, nearly to the head. Upon examining the other window, a similar nail was seen similarly fitted in it; and a vigorous attempt to raise this sash, failed also. The police were now entirely satisfied that egress had not been in these directions. And, therefore, it was thought a matter of supererogation to withdraw the nails and open the windows.

“There are two windows in the room. One of them is clear of furniture and fully visible. The lower part of the other is blocked from view by the bulky bed frame pushed up against it. The first window was securely locked from the inside. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t lift it. A large hole had been drilled in its frame on the left side, and a thick nail was set into it, almost to the head. When they looked at the other window, they saw a similar nail fitted in the same way; and an attempt to lift this sash also failed. The police were now completely sure that there was no way to exit through these windows. Therefore, they thought it was unnecessary to remove the nails and open the windows.”

“My own examination was somewhat more particular, and was so for the reason I have just given—because here it was, I knew, that all apparent impossibilities must be proved to be not such in reality.

“My own examination was a bit more detailed, and that was for the reason I just mentioned—because this was the place, I knew, where all apparent impossibilities must be proven to not actually be impossible.”

“I proceeded to think thus—a posteriori. The murderers did escape from one of these windows. This being so, they could not have refastened the sashes from the inside, as they were found fastened;—the consideration which put a stop, through its obviousness, to the scrutiny of the police in this quarter. Yet the sashes were fastened. They must, then, have the power of fastening themselves. There was no escape from this conclusion. I stepped to the unobstructed casement, withdrew the nail with some difficulty and attempted to raise the sash. It resisted all my efforts, as I had anticipated. A concealed spring must, I now know, exist; and this corroboration of my idea convinced me that my premises at least, were correct, however mysterious still appeared the circumstances attending the nails. A careful search soon brought to light the hidden spring. I pressed it, and, satisfied with the discovery, forbore to upraise the sash.

“I started to think like this—a posteriori. The murderers got away through one of these windows. If that's the case, they couldn't have locked the sashes from the inside because they were found locked; this was such an obvious point that it stopped the police from investigating this area further. Yet the sashes were locked. They must have some way of locking themselves. There was no escaping this conclusion. I went over to the unobstructed window, pulled out the nail with some effort, and tried to lift the sash. It resisted all my attempts, just as I expected. A hidden spring must, I now realize, exist; and this confirmation of my thought convinced me that my ideas were at least correct, even if the circumstances surrounding the nails still seemed mysterious. A thorough search quickly revealed the hidden spring. I pressed it, and, pleased with the discovery, refrained from raising the sash.”

“I now replaced the nail and regarded it attentively. A person passing out through this window might have reclosed it, and the spring would have caught—but the nail could not have been replaced. The conclusion was plain, and again narrowed in the field of my investigations. The assassins must have escaped through the other window. Supposing, then, the springs upon each sash to be the same, as was probable, there must be found a difference between the nails, or at least between the modes of their fixture. Getting upon the sacking of the bedstead, I looked over the head-board minutely at the second casement. Passing my hand down behind the board, I readily discovered and pressed the spring, which was, as I had supposed, identical in character with its neighbor. I now looked at the nail. It was as stout as the other, and apparently fitted in the same manner—driven in nearly up to the head.

I replaced the nail and studied it closely. Someone leaving through this window could have closed it again, and the spring would have caught it—but the nail couldn't have been replaced. The conclusion was clear, and it narrowed down my investigation. The assassins must have escaped through the other window. Assuming the springs on both sashes are the same, which is likely, there has to be a difference between the nails or at least how they were attached. Climbing onto the bed's sacking, I examined the second window closely over the headboard. I slid my hand down behind the board, and quickly found and pressed the spring, which was, as I expected, identical to the other one. I then looked at the nail. It was just as strong as the other, and seemed to be fitted in the same way—driven in almost up to the head.

“You will say that I was puzzled; but, if you think so, you must have misunderstood the nature of the inductions. To use a sporting phrase, I had not been once ‘at fault.’ The scent had never for an instant been lost. There was no flaw in any link of the chain. I had traced the secret to its ultimate result,—and that result was the nail. It had, I say, in every respect, the appearance of its fellow in the other window; but this fact was an absolute nullity (conclusive us it might seem to be) when compared with the consideration that here, at this point, terminated the clew. ‘There must be something wrong,’ I said, ‘about the nail.’ I touched it; and the head, with about a quarter of an inch of the shank, came off in my fingers. The rest of the shank was in the gimlet-hole where it had been broken off. The fracture was an old one (for its edges were incrusted with rust), and had apparently been accomplished by the blow of a hammer, which had partially imbedded, in the top of the bottom sash, the head portion of the nail. I now carefully replaced this head portion in the indentation whence I had taken it, and the resemblance to a perfect nail was complete—the fissure was invisible. Pressing the spring, I gently raised the sash for a few inches; the head went up with it, remaining firm in its bed. I closed the window, and the semblance of the whole nail was again perfect.

“You might think I was confused, but if you do, you’ve misunderstood how I pieced things together. To put it in sports terms, I hadn’t made a single mistake. I had never lost the trail. There was no weakness in any part of my reasoning. I had followed the secret to its final conclusion—and that conclusion was the nail. It looked exactly like its counterpart in the other window; however, this detail was completely irrelevant (though it may have seemed significant) when I considered that this was where the clue ended. ‘There must be something off about the nail,’ I said. I touched it, and the head, along with about a quarter of an inch of the shank, came off in my hand. The rest of the shank was stuck in the screw hole where it had broken off. The break was old (its edges were covered in rust) and it looked like it had been caused by a hammer, which had partly embedded the head of the nail in the top of the bottom window frame. I carefully replaced the head in the indentation where I had found it, and it looked just like a perfect nail—the crack was invisible. I pressed the spring and gently raised the window a few inches; the head came up with it, staying securely in place. I closed the window, and once again, the nail looked whole.”

“The riddle, so far, was now unriddled. The assassin had escaped through the window which looked upon the bed. Dropping of its own accord upon his exit (or perhaps purposely closed), it had become fastened by the spring; and it was the retention of this spring which had been mistaken by the police for that of the nail,—farther inquiry being thus considered unnecessary.

“The riddle, so far, was now solved. The assassin had escaped through the window that faced the bed. It closed on its own when he left (or maybe it was shut intentionally), and it got stuck because of the spring; and the police had confused this spring for a nail, so they thought further investigation wasn’t needed.”

“The next question is that of the mode of descent. Upon this point I had been satisfied in my walk with you around the building. About five feet and a half from the casement in question there runs a lightning-rod. From this rod it would have been impossible for any one to reach the window itself, to say nothing of entering it. I observed, however, that the shutters of the fourth story were of the peculiar kind called by Parisian carpenters ferrades—a kind rarely employed at the present day, but frequently seen upon very old mansions at Lyons and Bordeaux. They are in the form of an ordinary door (a single, not a folding door), except that the lower half is latticed or worked in open trellis—thus affording an excellent hold for the hands. In the present instance these shutters are fully three feet and a half broad. When we saw them from the rear of the house, they were both about half open—that is to say, they stood off at right angles from the wall. It is probable that the police, as well as myself, examined the back of the tenement; but, if so, in looking at these ferrades in the line of their breadth (as they must have done), they did not perceive this great breadth itself, or, at all events, failed to take it into due consideration. In fact, having once satisfied themselves that no egress could have been made in this quarter, they would naturally bestow here a very cursory examination. It was clear to me, however, that the shutter belonging to the window at the head of the bed, would, if swung fully back to the wall, reach to within two feet of the lightning-rod. It was also evident that, by exertion of a very unusual degree of activity and courage, an entrance into the window, from the rod, might have been thus effected. By reaching to the distance of two feet and a half (we now suppose the shutter open to its whole extent) a robber might have taken a firm grasp upon the trellis-work. Letting go, then, his hold upon the rod, placing his feet securely against the wall, and springing boldly from it, he might have swung the shutter so as to close it, and, if we imagine the window open at the time, might even have swung himself into the room.

“The next question is how the descent was made. I felt reassured about this during our walk around the building. About five and a half feet from the window in question, there is a lightning rod. From that rod, it would have been impossible for anyone to reach the window itself, not to mention getting inside. I did notice, though, that the shutters on the fourth floor are the specific type known by Parisian carpenters as ferrades—a style that isn’t commonly used today but can often be found on very old mansions in Lyon and Bordeaux. They look like regular doors (just a single door, not double), but the lower half is made of latticed or open trellis, which provides a great grip for hands. In this case, these shutters are over three and a half feet wide. When we saw them from the back of the house, both were about half open—that is to say, they were sticking out at right angles from the wall. It’s likely that both the police and I looked at the back of the building; however, if they were examining these ferrades from their width (as they must have), they didn’t notice this significant width, or at least didn’t give it proper consideration. In fact, after confirming that no one could have exited from that side, it’s understandable that they would have conducted a very brief inspection there. However, it was clear to me that the shutter belonging to the window at the head of the bed, if swung fully back against the wall, would come within two feet of the lightning rod. It was also obvious that, with an unusually high level of activity and bravery, someone could have entered through the window from the rod. By reaching two and a half feet (assuming the shutter is fully open), a burglar could securely grab the trellis. Then, by releasing the hold on the rod, pushing his feet against the wall, and jumping boldly, he could have swung the shutter to close it, and if we imagine the window being open at that time, he might have even been able to swing himself into the room.

“I wish you to bear especially in mind that I have spoken of a very unusual degree of activity as requisite to success in so hazardous and so difficult a feat. It is my design to show you, first, that the thing might possibly have been accomplished:—but, secondly and chiefly, I wish to impress upon your understanding the very extraordinary—the almost præternatural character of that agility which could have accomplished it.

“I want you to especially remember that I’ve talked about a very unusual level of effort needed to succeed in such a risky and challenging task. My goal is to show you, first, that it might have been possible to achieve it:—but, more importantly, I want to emphasize to you the very extraordinary—the almost supernatural level of agility that would have made it possible.”

“You will say, no doubt, using the language of the law, that ‘to make out my case,’ I should rather undervalue, than insist upon a full estimation of the activity required in this matter. This may be the practice in law, but it is not the usage of reason. My ultimate object is only the truth. My immediate purpose is to lead you to place in juxtaposition, that very unusual activity of which I have just spoken with that very peculiar shrill (or harsh) and unequal voice, about whose nationality no two persons could be found to agree, and in whose utterance no syllabification could be detected.”

“You're probably going to say, using legal terms, that ‘to make my case,’ I should downplay rather than fully acknowledge the effort involved in this situation. That might be how things are done in law, but it’s not how reason works. My ultimate goal is simply the truth. My immediate aim is to encourage you to compare that very unusual behavior I just mentioned with that very peculiar shrill (or harsh) and uneven voice, about which no two people can agree on its nationality, and in which no clear syllables can be identified.”

At these words a vague and half-formed conception of the meaning of Dupin flitted over my mind. I seemed to be upon the verge of comprehension without power to comprehend—as men, at times, find themselves upon the brink of remembrance without being able, in the end, to remember. My friend went on with his discourse.

At these words, a vague and half-formed idea of what Dupin meant crossed my mind. I felt like I was on the edge of understanding but unable to grasp it—like when people sometimes find themselves nearing a memory but ultimately can’t recall it. My friend continued with his talk.

“You will see,” he said, “that I have shifted the question from the mode of egress to that of ingress. It was my design to convey the idea that both were effected in the same manner, at the same point. Let us now revert to the interior of the room. Let us survey the appearances here. The drawers of the bureau, it is said, had been rifled, although many articles of apparel still remained within them. The conclusion here is absurd. It is a mere guess—a very silly one—and no more. How are we to know that the articles found in the drawers were not all these drawers had originally contained? Madame L’Espanaye and her daughter lived an exceedingly retired life—saw no company—seldom went out—had little use for numerous changes of habiliment. Those found were at least of as good quality as any likely to be possessed by these ladies. If a thief had taken any, why did he not take the best—why did he not take all? In a word, why did he abandon four thousand francs in gold to encumber himself with a bundle of linen? The gold was abandoned. Nearly the whole sum mentioned by Monsieur Mignaud, the banker, was discovered, in bags, upon the floor. I wish you, therefore, to discard from your thoughts the blundering idea of motive, engendered in the brains of the police by that portion of the evidence which speaks of money delivered at the door of the house. Coincidences ten times as remarkable as this (the delivery of the money, and murder committed within three days upon the party receiving it), happen to all of us every hour of our lives, without attracting even momentary notice. Coincidences, in general, are great stumbling-blocks in the way of that class of thinkers who have been educated to know nothing of the theory of probabilities—that theory to which the most glorious objects of human research are indebted for the most glorious of illustration. In the present instance, had the gold been gone, the fact of its delivery three days before would have formed something more than a coincidence. It would have been corroborative of this idea of motive. But, under the real circumstances of the case, if we are to suppose gold the motive of this outrage, we must also imagine the perpetrator so vacillating an idiot as to have abandoned his gold and his motive together.

“You’ll see,” he said, “that I’ve changed the question from how they got out to how they got in. I wanted to show that both were done in the same way, at the same place. Now, let’s go back to the inside of the room. Let’s look at what’s here. The drawers of the dresser, we’ve heard, have been messed with, though many clothes still remain inside. The conclusion from this is ridiculous. It’s just a guess—a really foolish one—and nothing more. How can we know that the items found in the drawers were all that these drawers originally held? Madame L’Espanaye and her daughter lived a very private life—they didn’t entertain guests—rarely went out—had little need for a lot of clothes. The ones left were at least of as good quality as any they would have owned. If a thief had taken some, why didn’t they take the best? Why didn’t they take everything? In fact, why did they leave four thousand francs in gold behind to carry a bundle of linen? The gold was left behind. Almost the entire amount mentioned by Monsieur Mignaud, the banker, was found in bags on the floor. So, I need you to set aside that careless idea of motive, which the police came up with from the evidence talking about the money delivered at the door of the house. Coincidences far more remarkable than this (the delivery of the money, and a murder happening within three days to the person who received it) happen to all of us every hour of our lives, without us even noticing. Coincidences, in general, are major roadblocks for those who’ve been taught nothing about probability theory—that theory which is key to understanding the most impressive findings in human research. In this case, if the gold had been missing, the fact that it was delivered three days earlier would have meant something more than a coincidence. It would have supported the idea of motive. But, given the actual situation, if we assume that gold was the motive for this crime, we’d also have to believe that the perpetrator was such a foolish idiot that they abandoned both their gold and their motive.”

“Keeping now steadily in mind the points to which I have drawn your attention—that peculiar voice, that unusual agility, and that startling absence of motive in a murder so singularly atrocious as this—let us glance at the butchery itself. Here is a woman strangled to death by manual strength, and thrust up a chimney, head downward. Ordinary assassins employ no such modes of murder as this. Least of all, do they thus dispose of the murdered. In the manner of thrusting the corpse up the chimney, you will admit that there was something excessively outré—something altogether irreconcilable with our common notions of human action, even when we suppose the actors the most depraved of men. Think, too, how great must have been that strength which could have thrust the body up such an aperture so forcibly that the united vigor of several persons was found barely sufficient to drag it down!

“Keeping in mind the points I've highlighted—that strange voice, that unusual agility, and that shocking lack of motive in a murder this disturbingly brutal—let's take a look at the crime itself. Here’s a woman strangled to death by someone's hands and then shoved up a chimney, head first. Regular killers don’t use such methods for murder. They definitely don’t dispose of the body this way. The act of forcing the corpse up the chimney is something you have to admit is incredibly bizarre—something that completely clashes with our usual ideas of human behavior, even if we believe the perpetrators are the most depraved individuals. Also, consider how strong someone must have been to force the body up such an opening so forcefully that the combined strength of several people was barely enough to pull it down!”

“Turn, now, to other indications of the employment of a vigor most marvellous. On the hearth were thick tresses—very thick tresses—of grey human hair. These had been torn out by the roots. You are aware of the great force necessary in tearing thus from the head even twenty or thirty hairs together. You saw the locks in question as well as myself. Their roots (a hideous sight!) were clotted with fragments of the flesh of the scalp—sure token of the prodigious power which had been exerted in uprooting perhaps half a million of hairs at a time. The throat of the old lady was not merely cut, but the head absolutely severed from the body: the instrument was a mere razor. I wish you also to look at the brutal ferocity of these deeds. Of the bruises upon the body of Madame L’Espanaye I do not speak. Monsieur Dumas, and his worthy coadjutor Monsieur Etienne, have pronounced that they were inflicted by some obtuse instrument; and so far these gentlemen are very correct. The obtuse instrument was clearly the stone pavement in the yard, upon which the victim had fallen from the window which looked in upon the bed. This idea, however simple it may now seem, escaped the police for the same reason that the breadth of the shutters escaped them—because, by the affair of the nails, their perceptions had been hermetically sealed against the possibility of the windows having ever been opened at all.

“Now, let’s look at other signs of an incredible strength at work. On the hearth were thick strands—very thick strands—of grey human hair. These had been ripped out by the roots. You know how much force it takes to pull out even twenty or thirty hairs at once. You saw the hair just like I did. The roots (a gruesome sight!) were matted with bits of scalp flesh—a sure sign of the immense power that must have been used to uproot perhaps half a million hairs at once. The old lady’s throat wasn’t just cut; her head was completely severed from her body: the weapon was just a razor. I want you to also notice the brutal savagery of these acts. I won’t get into the bruises on Madame L’Espanaye’s body. Monsieur Dumas and his capable partner Monsieur Etienne determined that they were caused by some blunt object; and, in this, they are correct. The blunt object was obviously the stone pavement in the yard, where the victim fell from the window that overlooked the bed. This idea, as simple as it may seem now, was missed by the police for the same reason they overlooked the width of the shutters—because of the nail incident, their minds had effectively shut them off from considering that the windows could have been opened at all.”

“If now, in addition to all these things, you have properly reflected upon the odd disorder of the chamber, we have gone so far as to combine the ideas of an agility astounding, a strength superhuman, a ferocity brutal, a butchery without motive, a grotesquerie in horror absolutely alien from humanity, and a voice foreign in tone to the ears of men of many nations, and devoid of all distinct or intelligible syllabification. What result, then, has ensued? What impression have I made upon your fancy?”

“If you have now taken the time to think about the strange disorder of the room, we have gone so far as to mix ideas of incredible agility, superhuman strength, brutal ferocity, senseless slaughter, a horror that is completely alien to humanity, and a voice that sounds foreign to the ears of people from many nations, lacking any clear or understandable speech. So what has happened as a result? What impression have I left on your imagination?”

I felt a creeping of the flesh as Dupin asked me the question. “A madman,” I said, “has done this deed—some raving maniac, escaped from a neighboring Maison de Santé.

I felt a shiver run down my spine as Dupin asked me the question. “A madman,” I said, “has done this—some raving lunatic, escaped from a nearby Maison de Santé.

“In some respects,” he replied, “your idea is not irrelevant. But the voices of madmen, even in their wildest paroxysms, are never found to tally with that peculiar voice heard upon the stairs. Madmen are of some nation, and their language, however incoherent in its words, has always the coherence of syllabification. Besides, the hair of a madman is not such as I now hold in my hand. I disentangled this little tuft from the rigidly clutched fingers of Madame L’Espanaye. Tell me what you can make of it.”

“In some ways,” he replied, “your idea isn’t irrelevant. However, the voices of madmen, even in their craziest moments, never match that strange voice heard on the stairs. Madmen belong to a particular nationality, and their speech, no matter how jumbled, always has some sort of structure. Additionally, the hair of a madman isn’t what I’m holding right now. I pulled this small tuft from the tightly clenched fingers of Madame L’Espanaye. Tell me what you can deduce from it.”

“Dupin!” I said, completely unnerved; “this hair is most unusual—this is no human hair.”

“Dupin!” I said, completely shaken; “this hair is really strange—this is not human hair.”

“I have not asserted that it is,” said he; “but, before we decide this point, I wish you to glance at the little sketch I have here traced upon this paper. It is a fac-simile drawing of what has been described in one portion of the testimony as ‘dark bruises, and deep indentations of finger nails,’ upon the throat of Mademoiselle L’Espanaye, and in another (by Messrs. Dumas and Etienne,) as a ‘series of livid spots, evidently the impression of fingers.’

“I haven't claimed that it is,” he said; “but before we settle this point, I want you to take a look at the little sketch I've drawn on this paper. It’s a fac-simile of what was described in one part of the testimony as ‘dark bruises and deep indentations of fingernails’ on Mademoiselle L’Espanaye's throat, and in another part (by Messrs. Dumas and Etienne) as a ‘series of livid spots, clearly the impression of fingers.’”

“You will perceive,” continued my friend, spreading out the paper upon the table before us, “that this drawing gives the idea of a firm and fixed hold. There is no slipping apparent. Each finger has retained—possibly until the death of the victim—the fearful grasp by which it originally imbedded itself. Attempt, now, to place all your fingers, at the same time, in the respective impressions as you see them.”

“You’ll notice,” my friend said, spreading the paper out on the table in front of us, “that this drawing shows a strong and secure grip. There’s no slipping visible. Each finger has held on—likely until the victim died—with the terrifying grip that originally sunk in. Now, try to place all your fingers at the same time in the impressions as you see them.”

I made the attempt in vain.

I tried but it was pointless.

“We are possibly not giving this matter a fair trial,” he said. “The paper is spread out upon a plane surface; but the human throat is cylindrical. Here is a billet of wood, the circumference of which is about that of the throat. Wrap the drawing around it, and try the experiment again.”

“We might not be judging this situation fairly,” he said. “The paper is laid out flat, but the human throat is round. Here’s a piece of wood that has about the same circumference as the throat. Wrap the drawing around it and let’s try the experiment again.”

I did so; but the difficulty was even more obvious than before. “This,” I said, “is the mark of no human hand.”

I did that; but the difficulty was even clearer than before. “This,” I said, “is not made by any human hand.”

“Read now,” replied Dupin, “this passage from Cuvier.”

“Read this now,” Dupin replied, “this passage from Cuvier.”

It was a minute anatomical and generally descriptive account of the large fulvous Ourang-Outang of the East Indian Islands. The gigantic stature, the prodigious strength and activity, the wild ferocity, and the imitative propensities of these mammalia are sufficiently well known to all. I understood the full horrors of the murder at once.

It was a detailed anatomical and general description of the large reddish-brown orangutan from the East Indian Islands. The enormous size, incredible strength and agility, wild ferocity, and tendency to imitate of these animals are well-known to everyone. I immediately grasped the full horror of the murder.

“The description of the digits,” said I, as I made an end of reading, “is in exact accordance with this drawing. I see that no animal but an Ourang-Outang, of the species here mentioned, could have impressed the indentations as you have traced them. This tuft of tawny hair, too, is identical in character with that of the beast of Cuvier. But I cannot possibly comprehend the particulars of this frightful mystery. Besides, there were two voices heard in contention, and one of them was unquestionably the voice of a Frenchman.”

“The description of the fingerprints," I said as I finished reading, "matches this drawing exactly. I can see that only an orangutan, from the species mentioned here, could have left the marks you've outlined. This tuft of orange hair is also exactly like that of Cuvier's animal. But I just can't wrap my head around the details of this terrifying mystery. Plus, there were two voices heard arguing, and one of them was definitely a Frenchman.”

“True; and you will remember an expression attributed almost unanimously, by the evidence, to this voice,—the expression, ‘mon Dieu!’ This, under the circumstances, has been justly characterized by one of the witnesses (Montani, the confectioner,) as an expression of remonstrance or expostulation. Upon these two words, therefore, I have mainly built my hopes of a full solution of the riddle. A Frenchman was cognizant of the murder. It is possible—indeed it is far more than probable—that he was innocent of all participation in the bloody transactions which took place. The Ourang-Outang may have escaped from him. He may have traced it to the chamber; but, under the agitating circumstances which ensued, he could never have re-captured it. It is still at large. I will not pursue these guesses—for I have no right to call them more—since the shades of reflection upon which they are based are scarcely of sufficient depth to be appreciable by my own intellect, and since I could not pretend to make them intelligible to the understanding of another. We will call them guesses then, and speak of them as such. If the Frenchman in question is indeed, as I suppose, innocent of this atrocity, this advertisement which I left last night, upon our return home, at the office of ‘Le Monde’ (a paper devoted to the shipping interest, and much sought by sailors), will bring him to our residence.”

"True; and you will remember a phrase attributed almost unanimously, according to the evidence, to this voice—the phrase, ‘mon Dieu!’ This, in the context, has been rightly described by one of the witnesses (Montani, the candy maker) as an expression of protest or disapproval. So, I've mainly built my hopes for a complete answer to the mystery on these two words. A Frenchman knew about the murder. It's possible—actually, it's more than likely—that he had no part in the bloody events that took place. The orangutan might have escaped from him. He could have tracked it to the room, but given the tense situation that followed, he could never have recaptured it. It's still on the loose. I won’t chase these guesses—because I can’t rightfully call them more—since the reflections they’re based on are hardly deep enough for me to grasp, let alone explain to anyone else. So, we’ll call them guesses and talk about them that way. If the Frenchman in question is indeed, as I think, innocent of this crime, the advertisement I left last night when we got home at the office of ‘Le Monde’ (a paper focused on shipping interests and often read by sailors) will bring him to our place."

He handed me a paper, and I read thus:

He gave me a piece of paper, and I read this:

CAUGHTIn the Bois de Boulogne, early in the morning of the ——inst., (the morning of the murder),owner a very large, tawny Ourang-Outang of the Bornese species. The owner (who is ascertained to be a sailor, belonging to a Maltese vessel) may have the animal again, upon identifying it satisfactorily, and paying a few charges arising from its capture and keeping. Call at No. ——, Rue ——, Faubourg St. Germain—au troisième.

CAUGHTIn the Bois de Boulogne, early in the morning of the ——inst., (the morning of the murder), the owner of a very large, tawny orangutan of the Bornean species. The owner (identified as a sailor from a Maltese ship) can reclaim the animal after satisfactorily identifying it and covering a few expenses related to its capture and care. Visit No. ——, Rue ——, Faubourg St. Germain—au troisième.

“How was it possible,” I asked, “that you should know the man to be a sailor, and belonging to a Maltese vessel?”

“How did you know the man was a sailor and that he was from a Maltese ship?” I asked.

“I do not know it,” said Dupin. “I am not sure of it. Here, however, is a small piece of ribbon, which from its form, and from its greasy appearance, has evidently been used in tying the hair in one of those long queues of which sailors are so fond. Moreover, this knot is one which few besides sailors can tie, and is peculiar to the Maltese. I picked the ribbon up at the foot of the lightning-rod. It could not have belonged to either of the deceased. Now if, after all, I am wrong in my induction from this ribbon, that the Frenchman was a sailor belonging to a Maltese vessel, still I can have done no harm in saying what I did in the advertisement. If I am in error, he will merely suppose that I have been misled by some circumstance into which he will not take the trouble to inquire. But if I am right, a great point is gained. Cognizant although innocent of the murder, the Frenchman will naturally hesitate about replying to the advertisement—about demanding the Ourang-Outang. He will reason thus:—‘I am innocent; I am poor; my Ourang-Outang is of great value—to one in my circumstances a fortune of itself—why should I lose it through idle apprehensions of danger? Here it is, within my grasp. It was found in the Bois de Boulogne—at a vast distance from the scene of that butchery. How can it ever be suspected that a brute beast should have done the deed? The police are at fault—they have failed to procure the slightest clew. Should they even trace the animal, it would be impossible to prove me cognizant of the murder, or to implicate me in guilt on account of that cognizance. Above all, I am known. The advertiser designates me as the possessor of the beast. I am not sure to what limit his knowledge may extend. Should I avoid claiming a property of so great value, which it is known that I possess, I will render the animal at least, liable to suspicion. It is not my policy to attract attention either to myself or to the beast. I will answer the advertisement, get the Ourang-Outang, and keep it close until this matter has blown over.’”

“I don’t know it,” said Dupin. “I’m not sure about it. Here, though, is a small piece of ribbon that, based on its shape and greasy look, has clearly been used to tie up hair in one of those long queues that sailors like so much. Also, this knot is one that only a few people besides sailors can tie, and it's specific to the Maltese. I picked up the ribbon at the bottom of the lightning rod. It couldn’t have belonged to either of the deceased. Now, if I’m wrong to conclude from this ribbon that the Frenchman was a sailor on a Maltese ship, it’s still not a big deal to say what I did in the advertisement. If I’m mistaken, he’ll just think I was misled by something and won’t bother to investigate. But if I'm right, that's a significant clue. Even if he’s innocent of the murder, the Frenchman will naturally hesitate to respond to the advertisement—about claiming the Ourang-Outang. He might think: ‘I’m innocent; I’m poor; my Ourang-Outang is really valuable—it could be a fortune for someone in my situation—why would I risk losing it out of baseless fears? Here it is, right in front of me. It was found in the Bois de Boulogne—far from where that crime happened. How could anyone think a wild animal could have done that? The police are clueless—they haven’t found a single clue. Even if they trace the animal, there’s no way to prove that I knew about the murder or to connect me to the guilt because of that knowledge. Above all, I am known. The advertisement names me as the owner of the creature. I don’t know how much he knows. If I avoid claiming something so valuable that is known to be mine, it will just make the animal suspicious. I don’t want to draw attention to myself or the beast. I’ll respond to the ad, get the Ourang-Outang, and keep it close until this blows over.”

At this moment we heard a step upon the stairs.

At that moment, we heard a step on the stairs.

“Be ready,” said Dupin, “with your pistols, but neither use them nor show them until at a signal from myself.”

“Be ready,” Dupin said, “with your guns, but don’t use them or show them until I give the signal.”

The front door of the house had been left open, and the visitor had entered, without ringing, and advanced several steps upon the staircase. Now, however, he seemed to hesitate. Presently we heard him descending. Dupin was moving quickly to the door, when we again heard him coming up. He did not turn back a second time, but stepped up with decision, and rapped at the door of our chamber.

The front door of the house was left open, and the visitor walked in without ringing the bell and took a few steps up the staircase. However, he seemed to hesitate. Soon, we heard him coming back down. Dupin quickly moved to the door, but we heard him coming back up again. He didn’t turn back a second time; instead, he confidently stepped up and knocked on the door of our room.

“Come in,” said Dupin, in a cheerful and hearty tone.

“Come in,” Dupin said brightly and warmly.

A man entered. He was a sailor, evidently,—a tall, stout, and muscular-looking person, with a certain dare-devil expression of countenance, not altogether unprepossessing. His face, greatly sunburnt, was more than half hidden by whisker and mustachio. He had with him a huge oaken cudgel, but appeared to be otherwise unarmed. He bowed awkwardly, and bade us “good evening,” in French accents, which, although somewhat Neufchatelish, were still sufficiently indicative of a Parisian origin.

A man walked in. He was clearly a sailor—a tall, sturdy, and muscular guy, with a bit of a daredevil look to him, which wasn't bad. His heavily sunburned face was mostly covered by a beard and a mustache. He carried a large oak stick but seemed otherwise unarmed. He awkwardly bowed and said, “good evening,” in a French accent that was a bit unrefined but still hinted at a Parisian background.

“Sit down, my friend,” said Dupin. “I suppose you have called about the Ourang-Outang. Upon my word, I almost envy you the possession of him; a remarkably fine, and no doubt a very valuable animal. How old do you suppose him to be?”

“Take a seat, my friend,” Dupin said. “I assume you’re here about the Ourang-Outang. Honestly, I almost envy you for having him; he’s a remarkably fine and undoubtedly very valuable creature. How old do you think he is?”

The sailor drew a long breath, with the air of a man relieved of some intolerable burden, and then replied, in an assured tone:

The sailor took a deep breath, looking like someone who had just gotten rid of an unbearable weight, and then responded confidently:

“I have no way of telling—but he can’t be more than four or five years old. Have you got him here?”

“I can't be sure, but he looks like he's only about four or five years old. Do you have him here?”

“Oh no, we had no conveniences for keeping him here. He is at a livery stable in the Rue Dubourg, just by. You can get him in the morning. Of course you are prepared to identify the property?”

“Oh no, we didn’t have the means to keep him here. He’s at a livery stable on Rue Dubourg, just nearby. You can pick him up in the morning. Of course, you’re ready to identify the property?”

“To be sure I am, sir.”

“To be sure I am, sir.”

“I shall be sorry to part with him,” said Dupin.

“I'll be sorry to say goodbye to him,” said Dupin.

“I don’t mean that you should be at all this trouble for nothing, sir,” said the man. “Couldn’t expect it. Am very willing to pay a reward for the finding of the animal—that is to say, any thing in reason.”

“I’m not saying you should go through all this trouble for nothing, sir,” the man said. “I wouldn’t expect that. I’m more than happy to offer a reward for finding the animal—anything reasonable, that is.”

“Well,” replied my friend, “that is all very fair, to be sure. Let me think!—what should I have? Oh! I will tell you. My reward shall be this. You shall give me all the information in your power about these murders in the Rue Morgue.”

“Well,” my friend replied, “that sounds totally reasonable. Let me think!—what do I want? Oh! I know. My reward will be this: you’ll share everything you know about those murders in the Rue Morgue.”

Dupin said the last words in a very low tone, and very quietly. Just as quietly, too, he walked toward the door, locked it and put the key in his pocket. He then drew a pistol from his bosom and placed it, without the least flurry, upon the table.

Dupin said the last words in a very soft voice, and very calmly. Just as calmly, he walked over to the door, locked it, and put the key in his pocket. He then took a pistol from his jacket and placed it, without any fuss, on the table.

The sailor’s face flushed up as if he were struggling with suffocation. He started to his feet and grasped his cudgel, but the next moment he fell back into his seat, trembling violently, and with the countenance of death itself. He spoke not a word. I pitied him from the bottom of my heart.

The sailor's face turned red as if he was fighting for breath. He jumped to his feet and grabbed his club, but the next moment he collapsed back into his seat, shaking uncontrollably, looking like he was about to die. He didn’t say a word. I felt deep pity for him.

“My friend,” said Dupin, in a kind tone, “you are alarming yourself unnecessarily—you are indeed. We mean you no harm whatever. I pledge you the honor of a gentleman, and of a Frenchman, that we intend you no injury. I perfectly well know that you are innocent of the atrocities in the Rue Morgue. It will not do, however, to deny that you are in some measure implicated in them. From what I have already said, you must know that I have had means of information about this matter—means of which you could never have dreamed. Now the thing stands thus. You have done nothing which you could have avoided—nothing, certainly, which renders you culpable. You were not even guilty of robbery, when you might have robbed with impunity. You have nothing to conceal. You have no reason for concealment. On the other hand, you are bound by every principle of honor to confess all you know. An innocent man is now imprisoned, charged with that crime of which you can point out the perpetrator.”

“My friend,” Dupin said gently, “you’re worrying too much—we truly mean you no harm. I give you my word as a gentleman and as a Frenchman that we intend you no injury. I know for sure that you are innocent of the terrible events in the Rue Morgue. However, I must point out that you are somewhat involved in them. From what I’ve already mentioned, you must understand that I have information about this matter—information you could never have imagined. Here’s the situation: you haven’t done anything you could have avoided—there’s nothing that makes you blameworthy. You weren’t even guilty of stealing when you could have taken advantage without consequence. You have nothing to hide. You have no reason to hide anything. On the contrary, you are morally obliged to share everything you know. An innocent man is in prison, accused of a crime for which you can identify the real culprit.”

The sailor had recovered his presence of mind, in a great measure, while Dupin uttered these words; but his original boldness of bearing was all gone.

The sailor had mostly regained his composure while Dupin said these words, but his initial confidence was completely gone.

“So help me God!” said he, after a brief pause, “I will tell you all I know about this affair;—but I do not expect you to believe one half I say—I would be a fool indeed if I did. Still, I am innocent, and I will make a clean breast if I die for it.”

“So help me God!” he said after a short pause, “I will tell you everything I know about this situation;—but I don’t expect you to believe even half of what I say—I would be a fool to think that. Still, I am innocent, and I will confess everything even if it costs me my life.”

What he stated was, in substance, this. He had lately made a voyage to the Indian Archipelago. A party, of which he formed one, landed at Borneo, and passed into the interior on an excursion of pleasure. Himself and a companion had captured the Ourang-Outang. This companion dying, the animal fell into his own exclusive possession. After great trouble, occasioned by the intractable ferocity of his captive during the home voyage, he at length succeeded in lodging it safely at his own residence in Paris, where, not to attract toward himself the unpleasant curiosity of his neighbors, he kept it carefully secluded, until such time as it should recover from a wound in the foot, received from a splinter on board ship. His ultimate design was to sell it.

What he said was basically this: He had recently traveled to the Indian Archipelago. A group he was part of landed in Borneo and ventured into the interior for some leisure time. He and a friend managed to capture an orangutan. When this friend passed away, the animal became his sole responsibility. After a lot of trouble, due to the wild behavior of his captive during the journey home, he finally got it settled safely at his house in Paris. To avoid drawing unwanted attention from his neighbors, he kept it hidden until it recovered from a foot injury caused by a splinter on the ship. His ultimate plan was to sell it.

Returning home from some sailors’ frolic the night, or rather in the morning of the murder, he found the beast occupying his own bed-room, into which it had broken from a closet adjoining, where it had been, as was thought, securely confined. Razor in hand, and fully lathered, it was sitting before a looking-glass, attempting the operation of shaving, in which it had no doubt previously watched its master through the key-hole of the closet. Terrified at the sight of so dangerous a weapon in the possession of an animal so ferocious, and so well able to use it, the man, for some moments, was at a loss what to do. He had been accustomed, however, to quiet the creature, even in its fiercest moods, by the use of a whip, and to this he now resorted. Upon sight of it, the Ourang-Outang sprang at once through the door of the chamber, down the stairs, and thence, through a window, unfortunately open, into the street.

Returning home from a night of fun with some sailors, or rather in the morning of the murder, he found the beast in his bedroom, having broken in from an adjoining closet where it was thought to be securely confined. With a razor in hand and lather all over, it was sitting in front of a mirror, trying to shave, likely having watched its master do it through the keyhole of the closet. Terrified at the sight of such a dangerous weapon in the possession of a ferocious animal that could easily use it, the man didn't know what to do for a moment. However, he was used to calming the creature, even at its angriest, with a whip, so he grabbed it. As soon as the Ourang-Outang saw the whip, it jumped through the door of the room, ran down the stairs, and then, through an unfortunately open window, into the street.

The Frenchman followed in despair; the ape, razor still in hand, occasionally stopping to look back and gesticulate at its pursuer, until the latter had nearly come up with it. It then again made off. In this manner the chase continued for a long time. The streets were profoundly quiet, as it was nearly three o’clock in the morning. In passing down an alley in the rear of the Rue Morgue, the fugitive’s attention was arrested by a light gleaming from the open window of Madame L’Espanaye’s chamber, in the fourth story of her house. Rushing to the building, it perceived the lightning rod, clambered up with inconceivable agility, grasped the shutter, which was thrown fully back against the wall, and, by its means, swung itself directly upon the headboard of the bed. The whole feat did not occupy a minute. The shutter was kicked open again by the Ourang-Outang as it entered the room.

The Frenchman followed in desperation; the ape, still holding the razor, occasionally stopped to look back and gesture at its pursuer until the latter almost caught up. Then it dashed off again. This chase went on for a long time. The streets were eerily quiet since it was nearly three in the morning. As it passed down an alley behind the Rue Morgue, the fugitive noticed a light shining from the open window of Madame L’Espanaye’s room on the fourth floor of her house. Racing to the building, it spotted the lightning rod, climbed up with unbelievable agility, grabbed the shutter, which was fully thrown back against the wall, and swung itself directly onto the headboard of the bed. The whole thing took less than a minute. The shutter was kicked open again by the Ourang-Outang as it entered the room.

The sailor, in the meantime, was both rejoiced and perplexed. He had strong hopes of now recapturing the brute, as it could scarcely escape from the trap into which it had ventured, except by the rod, where it might be intercepted as it came down. On the other hand, there was much cause for anxiety as to what it might do in the house. This latter reflection urged the man still to follow the fugitive. A lightning rod is ascended without difficulty, especially by a sailor; but, when he had arrived as high as the window, which lay far to his left, his career was stopped; the most that he could accomplish was to reach over so as to obtain a glimpse of the interior of the room. At this glimpse he nearly fell from his hold through excess of horror. Now it was that those hideous shrieks arose upon the night, which had startled from slumber the inmates of the Rue Morgue. Madame L’Espanaye and her daughter, habited in their night clothes, had apparently been occupied in arranging some papers in the iron chest already mentioned, which had been wheeled into the middle of the room. It was open, and its contents lay beside it on the floor. The victims must have been sitting with their backs toward the window; and, from the time elapsing between the ingress of the beast and the screams, it seems probable that it was not immediately perceived. The flapping-to of the shutter would naturally have been attributed to the wind.

The sailor was both happy and confused at the same time. He felt hopeful about catching the creature again since it could hardly escape from the trap it had entered, except through the lightning rod, where it could be intercepted as it came down. However, he was also very anxious about what it might do inside the house. This thought pushed him to keep chasing after the escaped animal. A sailor can easily climb a lightning rod, but when he got as high as the window on his left, he hit a dead end; he could only stretch over to catch a glimpse of the room's interior. When he looked inside, he almost lost his grip out of shock. It was then that those horrifying screams filled the night, waking the residents of the Rue Morgue. Madame L’Espanaye and her daughter, dressed in their nightgowns, seemed to have been busy organizing some papers in the iron chest mentioned earlier, which had been moved to the center of the room. The chest was open, and its contents were scattered on the floor beside it. The victims must have been sitting with their backs to the window, and given the time between the creature entering and the screams, it’s likely they had not noticed it right away. The slamming of the shutter would naturally have been blamed on the wind.

As the sailor looked in, the gigantic animal had seized Madame L’Espanaye by the hair, (which was loose, as she had been combing it,) and was flourishing the razor about her face, in imitation of the motions of a barber. The daughter lay prostrate and motionless; she had swooned. The screams and struggles of the old lady (during which the hair was torn from her head) had the effect of changing the probably pacific purposes of the Ourang-Outang into those of wrath. With one determined sweep of its muscular arm it nearly severed her head from her body. The sight of blood inflamed its anger into phrenzy. Gnashing its teeth, and flashing fire from its eyes, it flew upon the body of the girl, and imbedded its fearful talons in her throat, retaining its grasp until she expired. Its wandering and wild glances fell at this moment upon the head of the bed, over which the face of its master, rigid with horror, was just discernible. The fury of the beast, who no doubt bore still in mind the dreaded whip, was instantly converted into fear. Conscious of having deserved punishment, it seemed desirous of concealing its bloody deeds, and skipped about the chamber in an agony of nervous agitation; throwing down and breaking the furniture as it moved, and dragging the bed from the bedstead. In conclusion, it seized first the corpse of the daughter, and thrust it up the chimney, as it was found; then that of the old lady, which it immediately hurled through the window headlong.

As the sailor looked in, the huge animal had grabbed Madame L’Espanaye by the hair, which was loose since she had been combing it, and was waving the razor around her face like a barber would. The daughter lay on the ground, completely still; she had fainted. The screams and struggles of the old lady (during which her hair was torn from her head) changed the probably peaceful intentions of the orangutan into ones of rage. With one powerful swing of its muscular arm, it nearly cut her head off. The sight of blood sent it into a frenzy of anger. Gnashing its teeth and with fire flashing in its eyes, it lunged at the girl's body and sank its terrible claws into her throat, holding on until she died. Its wild and erratic gaze then landed on the head of the bed, where the face of its master, frozen in horror, was barely visible. The fury of the beast, which likely remembered the dreaded whip, quickly turned to fear. Realizing it had done something wrong, it seemed eager to hide its bloody actions, pacing around the room in a fit of nervous distress, knocking over and breaking furniture as it moved, and dragging the bed from its frame. In the end, it first grabbed the daughter's corpse and shoved it up the chimney as it was found; then it took the old lady's body and immediately threw it out the window headfirst.

As the ape approached the casement with its mutilated burden, the sailor shrank aghast to the rod, and, rather gliding than clambering down it, hurried at once home—dreading the consequences of the butchery, and gladly abandoning, in his terror, all solicitude about the fate of the Ourang-Outang. The words heard by the party upon the staircase were the Frenchman’s exclamations of horror and affright, commingled with the fiendish jabberings of the brute.

As the ape came closer to the window with its severed prize, the sailor recoiled in shock, quickly sliding down the pole instead of climbing, and rushed home—fearing the aftermath of the slaughter and relieved to ignore any worries about the fate of the orangutan. The sounds heard by the group on the staircase were the Frenchman's cries of horror and fear mixed with the creature's sinister chattering.

I have scarcely anything to add. The Ourang-Outang must have escaped from the chamber, by the rod, just before the breaking of the door. It must have closed the window as it passed through it. It was subsequently caught by the owner himself, who obtained for it a very large sum at the Jardin des Plantes. Le Don was instantly released, upon our narration of the circumstances (with some comments from Dupin) at the bureau of the Prefect of Police. This functionary, however well disposed to my friend, could not altogether conceal his chagrin at the turn which affairs had taken, and was fain to indulge in a sarcasm or two, about the propriety of every person minding his own business.

I hardly have anything to add. The orangutan must have escaped from the room through the rod just before the door broke open. It must have closed the window as it went through. It was later caught by its owner, who got a huge sum for it at the Jardin des Plantes. Le Don was immediately released after we explained the situation (with some comments from Dupin) at the Prefect of Police's office. This official, though well-meaning toward my friend, couldn't completely hide his disappointment at how things had turned out and couldn't help but make a sarcastic remark or two about everyone needing to mind their own business.

“Let him talk,” said Dupin, who had not thought it necessary to reply. “Let him discourse; it will ease his conscience, I am satisfied with having defeated him in his own castle. Nevertheless, that he failed in the solution of this mystery, is by no means that matter for wonder which he supposes it; for, in truth, our friend the Prefect is somewhat too cunning to be profound. In his wisdom is no stamen. It is all head and no body, like the pictures of the Goddess Laverna,—or, at best, all head and shoulders, like a codfish. But he is a good creature after all. I like him especially for one master stroke of cant, by which he has attained his reputation for ingenuity. I mean the way he has ‘de nier ce qui est, et d’expliquer ce qui n’est pas.’” (*)

“Let him talk,” Dupin said, not feeling the need to respond. “Let him ramble; it’ll lighten his conscience. I’m satisfied with having beaten him in his own domain. Still, the fact that he couldn't solve this mystery isn’t as surprising as he thinks; really, our friend the Prefect is a bit too clever to be deep. His wisdom lacks substance. It’s all intellect and no foundation, like the images of the Goddess Laverna—or at best, all intellect and shoulders, like a codfish. But he’s a decent fellow overall. I particularly appreciate one clever trick he used to gain his reputation for cleverness. I mean the way he has ‘de nier ce qui est, et d’expliquer ce qui n’est pas.’” (*)

(*) Rousseau—Nouvelle Heloïse.

Rousseau—New Heloise.

THE MYSTERY OF MARIE ROGET.(*1)

A SEQUEL TO “THE MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE.”

Es giebt eine Reihe idealischer Begebenheiten, die der Wirklichkeit parallel lauft. Selten fallen sie zusammen. Menschen und zufalle modificiren gewohulich die idealische Begebenheit, so dass sie unvollkommen erscheint, und ihre Folgen gleichfalls unvollkommen sind. So bei der Reformation; statt des Protestantismus kam das Lutherthum hervor.
    There are ideal series of events which run parallel with the real ones. They rarely coincide. Men and circumstances generally modify the ideal train of events, so that it seems imperfect, and its consequences are equally imperfect. Thus with the Reformation; instead of Protestantism came Lutheranism.—Novalis.(*2) Moral Ansichten.

There are ideal series of events that run parallel to the real ones. They rarely align. People and circumstances usually alter the ideal sequence of events, making it appear imperfect, and its outcomes are just as flawed. Take the Reformation, for example; instead of Protestantism, Lutheranism emerged.—Novalis.(*2) Moral Ansichten.

There are few persons, even among the calmest thinkers, who have not occasionally been startled into a vague yet thrilling half-credence in the supernatural, by coincidences of so seemingly marvellous a character that, as mere coincidences, the intellect has been unable to receive them. Such sentiments—for the half-credences of which I speak have never the full force of thought—such sentiments are seldom thoroughly stifled unless by reference to the doctrine of chance, or, as it is technically termed, the Calculus of Probabilities. Now this Calculus is, in its essence, purely mathematical; and thus we have the anomaly of the most rigidly exact in science applied to the shadow and spirituality of the most intangible in speculation.

There are few people, even among the calmest thinkers, who haven't at times been surprised into a vague yet exciting belief in the supernatural, by coincidences that seem so incredible that the mind struggles to accept them as simply random occurrences. Such feelings—because these half-beliefs never carry the full weight of thought—are rarely completely dismissed except by referring to the idea of chance, or what is technically known as the Calculus of Probabilities. This Calculus is, at its core, purely mathematical; and thus we find the odd situation where the most precise science is applied to the elusive and spiritual nature of the most intangible in speculation.

The extraordinary details which I am now called upon to make public, will be found to form, as regards sequence of time, the primary branch of a series of scarcely intelligible coincidences, whose secondary or concluding branch will be recognized by all readers in the late murder of Mary Cecila Rogers, at New York.

The remarkable details that I am about to reveal will be seen as the first part of a series of almost incomprehensible coincidences, the second part of which will be recognized by all readers in the recent murder of Mary Cecila Rogers in New York.

When, in an article entitled “The Murders in the Rue Morgue,” I endeavored, about a year ago, to depict some very remarkable features in the mental character of my friend, the Chevalier C. Auguste Dupin, it did not occur to me that I should ever resume the subject. This depicting of character constituted my design; and this design was thoroughly fulfilled in the wild train of circumstances brought to instance Dupin’s idiosyncrasy. I might have adduced other examples, but I should have proven no more. Late events, however, in their surprising development, have startled me into some farther details, which will carry with them the air of extorted confession. Hearing what I have lately heard, it would be indeed strange should I remain silent in regard to what I both heard and saw so long ago.

When I wrote an article called “The Murders in the Rue Morgue” about a year ago, trying to highlight some of the remarkable aspects of my friend, the Chevalier C. Auguste Dupin, I didn’t think I would revisit the topic. My goal was to portray his character, and I fulfilled that goal through the dramatic events that showcased Dupin’s unique traits. I could have mentioned more examples, but I wouldn't have proven anything new. However, recent events have surprised me and prompted me to share some additional details that may seem like a reluctant admission. Given what I’ve heard recently, it would be odd for me to stay quiet about what I both heard and witnessed so long ago.

Upon the winding up of the tragedy involved in the deaths of Madame L’Espanaye and her daughter, the Chevalier dismissed the affair at once from his attention, and relapsed into his old habits of moody reverie. Prone, at all times, to abstraction, I readily fell in with his humor; and, continuing to occupy our chambers in the Faubourg Saint Germain, we gave the Future to the winds, and slumbered tranquilly in the Present, weaving the dull world around us into dreams.

Once the tragedy surrounding the deaths of Madame L’Espanaye and her daughter wrapped up, the Chevalier quickly pushed the matter from his mind and returned to his usual brooding. Always prone to daydreaming, I easily matched his mood; and, still staying in our rooms in the Faubourg Saint Germain, we let go of any thoughts about the future and peacefully dozed in the present, turning the dull world around us into dreams.

But these dreams were not altogether uninterrupted. It may readily be supposed that the part played by my friend, in the drama at the Rue Morgue, had not failed of its impression upon the fancies of the Parisian police. With its emissaries, the name of Dupin had grown into a household word. The simple character of those inductions by which he had disentangled the mystery never having been explained even to the Prefect, or to any other individual than myself, of course it is not surprising that the affair was regarded as little less than miraculous, or that the Chevalier’s analytical abilities acquired for him the credit of intuition. His frankness would have led him to disabuse every inquirer of such prejudice; but his indolent humor forbade all farther agitation of a topic whose interest to himself had long ceased. It thus happened that he found himself the cynosure of the political eyes; and the cases were not few in which attempt was made to engage his services at the Prefecture. One of the most remarkable instances was that of the murder of a young girl named Marie Rogêt.

But these dreams weren’t entirely uninterrupted. It’s easy to imagine that my friend’s role in the drama at the Rue Morgue left a mark on the minds of the Parisian police. With their agents, the name Dupin had become well-known. The straightforward reasoning he used to unravel the mystery was never explained to the Prefect or anyone else besides me, so it's no wonder the case was seen as almost miraculous, or that the Chevalier’s analytical skills earned him a reputation for intuition. His honesty would have led him to clear up any misconceptions for those asking, but his laid-back nature prevented him from diving into a subject that no longer interested him. As a result, he became the center of attention for political matters, and there were several instances where attempts were made to recruit him for the Prefecture. One of the most notable cases was the murder of a young girl named Marie Rogêt.

This event occurred about two years after the atrocity in the Rue Morgue. Marie, whose Christian and family name will at once arrest attention from their resemblance to those of the unfortunate “cigar girl,” was the only daughter of the widow Estelle Rogêt. The father had died during the child’s infancy, and from the period of his death, until within eighteen months before the assassination which forms the subject of our narrative, the mother and daughter had dwelt together in the Rue Pavée Saint Andrée; (*3) Madame there keeping a pension, assisted by Marie. Affairs went on thus until the latter had attained her twenty-second year, when her great beauty attracted the notice of a perfumer, who occupied one of the shops in the basement of the Palais Royal, and whose custom lay chiefly among the desperate adventurers infesting that neighborhood. Monsieur Le Blanc (*4) was not unaware of the advantages to be derived from the attendance of the fair Marie in his perfumery; and his liberal proposals were accepted eagerly by the girl, although with somewhat more of hesitation by Madame.

This event happened about two years after the tragedy on Rue Morgue. Marie, whose first and last names will immediately remind you of the unfortunate “cigar girl,” was the only daughter of the widow Estelle Rogêt. Her father had passed away when she was an infant, and from the time of his death until around eighteen months before the murder that is the focus of our story, the mother and daughter lived together on Rue Pavée Saint Andrée; (*3) Madame ran a boarding house, assisted by Marie. Everything continued like this until Marie turned twenty-two, when her remarkable beauty caught the attention of a perfumer who had a shop in the basement of the Palais Royal and whose clientele consisted mainly of the desperate men roaming that area. Monsieur Le Blanc (*4) was well aware of the benefits of having the beautiful Marie in his shop; his generous offers were quickly embraced by the girl, though Madame accepted them with a bit more reluctance.

The anticipations of the shopkeeper were realized, and his rooms soon became notorious through the charms of the sprightly grisette. She had been in his employ about a year, when her admirers were thrown info confusion by her sudden disappearance from the shop. Monsieur Le Blanc was unable to account for her absence, and Madame Rogêt was distracted with anxiety and terror. The public papers immediately took up the theme, and the police were upon the point of making serious investigations, when, one fine morning, after the lapse of a week, Marie, in good health, but with a somewhat saddened air, made her re-appearance at her usual counter in the perfumery. All inquiry, except that of a private character, was of course immediately hushed. Monsieur Le Blanc professed total ignorance, as before. Marie, with Madame, replied to all questions, that the last week had been spent at the house of a relation in the country. Thus the affair died away, and was generally forgotten; for the girl, ostensibly to relieve herself from the impertinence of curiosity, soon bade a final adieu to the perfumer, and sought the shelter of her mother’s residence in the Rue Pavée Saint Andrée.

The shopkeeper's hopes were fulfilled, and his store quickly became famous because of the lively young woman working there. She had been with him for about a year when her fans were thrown into turmoil by her sudden disappearance from the shop. Monsieur Le Blanc couldn’t explain her absence, and Madame Rogêt was overwhelmed with worry and fear. The newspapers immediately picked up the story, and the police were almost ready to launch a serious investigation when, one beautiful morning, after a week had passed, Marie returned, healthy but looking a bit down, to her usual spot at the perfume counter. All inquiries, except for personal ones, were promptly silenced. Monsieur Le Blanc claimed he had no idea where she had been, just like before. Marie, along with Madame, told everyone that she had spent the past week at a relative's house in the countryside. The situation faded away and was mostly forgotten; the young woman, seemingly to escape the annoyance of everyone's curiosity, soon said her final goodbye to the perfumer and sought refuge at her mother’s home on Rue Pavée Saint Andrée.

It was about five months after this return home, that her friends were alarmed by her sudden disappearance for the second time. Three days elapsed, and nothing was heard of her. On the fourth her corpse was found floating in the Seine, * near the shore which is opposite the Quartier of the Rue Saint Andrée, and at a point not very far distant from the secluded neighborhood of the Barrière du Roule. (*6)

It was about five months after she returned home when her friends were worried by her sudden disappearance for the second time. Three days went by, and there was no word from her. On the fourth day, her body was found floating in the Seine, near the shore across from the Quartier of the Rue Saint Andrée, and not far from the quiet area of the Barrière du Roule. (*6)

The atrocity of this murder, (for it was at once evident that murder had been committed,) the youth and beauty of the victim, and, above all, her previous notoriety, conspired to produce intense excitement in the minds of the sensitive Parisians. I can call to mind no similar occurrence producing so general and so intense an effect. For several weeks, in the discussion of this one absorbing theme, even the momentous political topics of the day were forgotten. The Prefect made unusual exertions; and the powers of the whole Parisian police were, of course, tasked to the utmost extent.

The horror of this murder, (because it was clear that a murder had taken place,) the youth and beauty of the victim, and, above all, her prior fame, all combined to create intense excitement among the sensitive Parisians. I can’t recall any other incident causing such widespread and strong reaction. For several weeks, in the discussion of this one all-consuming topic, even the important political issues of the day were overlooked. The Prefect made extraordinary efforts; and the entire Parisian police force was, of course, pushed to its limits.

Upon the first discovery of the corpse, it was not supposed that the murderer would be able to elude, for more than a very brief period, the inquisition which was immediately set on foot. It was not until the expiration of a week that it was deemed necessary to offer a reward; and even then this reward was limited to a thousand francs. In the mean time the investigation proceeded with vigor, if not always with judgment, and numerous individuals were examined to no purpose; while, owing to the continual absence of all clue to the mystery, the popular excitement greatly increased. At the end of the tenth day it was thought advisable to double the sum originally proposed; and, at length, the second week having elapsed without leading to any discoveries, and the prejudice which always exists in Paris against the Police having given vent to itself in several serious émeutes, the Prefect took it upon himself to offer the sum of twenty thousand francs “for the conviction of the assassin,” or, if more than one should prove to have been implicated, “for the conviction of any one of the assassins.” In the proclamation setting forth this reward, a full pardon was promised to any accomplice who should come forward in evidence against his fellow; and to the whole was appended, wherever it appeared, the private placard of a committee of citizens, offering ten thousand francs, in addition to the amount proposed by the Prefecture. The entire reward thus stood at no less than thirty thousand francs, which will be regarded as an extraordinary sum when we consider the humble condition of the girl, and the great frequency, in large cities, of such atrocities as the one described.

When the body was first found, it was expected that the murderer would not be able to escape for long from the investigation that quickly began. It wasn’t until a week had passed that a reward was deemed necessary, and even then, it was only a thousand francs. In the meantime, the investigation continued energetically, though not always wisely, leading to many individuals being questioned to no avail. As there was still no clue to the mystery, public excitement grew significantly. By the tenth day, it was decided to double the original reward, and when the second week ended with no new discoveries, combined with the public's longstanding distrust of the police resulting in several serious riots, the Prefect took the initiative to offer twenty thousand francs “for the conviction of the assassin,” or if there were multiple suspects, “for the conviction of any one of the assassins.” In the announcement detailing this reward, a full pardon was promised to any accomplice who came forward with evidence against their partner in crime. Alongside this, a private poster from a citizens' committee appeared wherever the announcement was made, offering an additional ten thousand francs on top of the Prefecture's amount. This brought the total reward to an impressive thirty thousand francs, a remarkable sum considering the girl’s humble background and the frequency of such crimes in large cities.

No one doubted now that the mystery of this murder would be immediately brought to light. But although, in one or two instances, arrests were made which promised elucidation, yet nothing was elicited which could implicate the parties suspected; and they were discharged forthwith. Strange as it may appear, the third week from the discovery of the body had passed, and passed without any light being thrown upon the subject, before even a rumor of the events which had so agitated the public mind, reached the ears of Dupin and myself. Engaged in researches which absorbed our whole attention, it had been nearly a month since either of us had gone abroad, or received a visitor, or more than glanced at the leading political articles in one of the daily papers. The first intelligence of the murder was brought us by G——, in person. He called upon us early in the afternoon of the thirteenth of July, 18—, and remained with us until late in the night. He had been piqued by the failure of all his endeavors to ferret out the assassins. His reputation—so he said with a peculiarly Parisian air—was at stake. Even his honor was concerned. The eyes of the public were upon him; and there was really no sacrifice which he would not be willing to make for the development of the mystery. He concluded a somewhat droll speech with a compliment upon what he was pleased to term the tact of Dupin, and made him a direct, and certainly a liberal proposition, the precise nature of which I do not feel myself at liberty to disclose, but which has no bearing upon the proper subject of my narrative.

No one doubted now that the mystery of this murder would soon be uncovered. However, even though there were one or two arrests that seemed promising, nothing came out that could tie the suspected individuals to the crime, and they were released immediately. Strangely enough, three weeks had passed since the discovery of the body, and still no clarity had been brought to the situation before we even heard a rumor about the events that had so stirred the public. Fully engrossed in our research, it had been nearly a month since either of us had gone out, received a visitor, or even glanced at the main political articles in one of the daily papers. The first news of the murder came to us from G——, in person. He visited us early in the afternoon on July 13, 18—, and stayed with us until late that night. He was frustrated by his inability to find the killers. His reputation—so he said with a particularly Parisian flair—was on the line. Even his honor was at stake. The public was watching him, and he was willing to make any sacrifice to solve the mystery. He ended a somewhat amusing speech with a compliment on what he called Dupin's intuition and made him a direct and undoubtedly generous offer, the exact details of which I cannot share but which doesn't relate to the main focus of my story.

The compliment my friend rebutted as best he could, but the proposition he accepted at once, although its advantages were altogether provisional. This point being settled, the Prefect broke forth at once into explanations of his own views, interspersing them with long comments upon the evidence; of which latter we were not yet in possession. He discoursed much, and beyond doubt, learnedly; while I hazarded an occasional suggestion as the night wore drowsily away. Dupin, sitting steadily in his accustomed arm-chair, was the embodiment of respectful attention. He wore spectacles, during the whole interview; and an occasional signal glance beneath their green glasses, sufficed to convince me that he slept not the less soundly, because silently, throughout the seven or eight leaden-footed hours which immediately preceded the departure of the Prefect.

My friend did his best to respond to the compliment, but he immediately accepted the proposal, even though its benefits were only temporary. Once that was settled, the Prefect jumped right into explaining his own ideas, mixing them with long comments about the evidence, which we didn’t have yet. He talked a lot, and there’s no doubt he sounded knowledgeable; while I made an occasional suggestion as the night dragged on. Dupin, sitting still in his usual armchair, showed complete attention. He wore glasses throughout the entire conversation, and a quick glance beneath those green lenses was enough to convince me that he was silently, but deeply, asleep during the seven or eight slow hours before the Prefect left.

In the morning, I procured, at the Prefecture, a full report of all the evidence elicited, and, at the various newspaper offices, a copy of every paper in which, from first to last, had been published any decisive information in regard to this sad affair. Freed from all that was positively disproved, this mass of information stood thus:

In the morning, I got a complete report of all the evidence gathered at the Prefecture, and from the various newspaper offices, a copy of every paper that had published any important information about this unfortunate situation, from beginning to end. After eliminating everything that was clearly disproven, this collection of information looked like this:

Marie Rogêt left the residence of her mother, in the Rue Pavée St. Andrée, about nine o’clock in the morning of Sunday, June the twenty-second, 18—. In going out, she gave notice to a Monsieur Jacques St. Eustache, (*7) and to him only, of her intent intention to spend the day with an aunt who resided in the Rue des Drômes. The Rue des Drômes is a short and narrow but populous thoroughfare, not far from the banks of the river, and at a distance of some two miles, in the most direct course possible, from the pension of Madame Rogêt. St. Eustache was the accepted suitor of Marie, and lodged, as well as took his meals, at the pension. He was to have gone for his betrothed at dusk, and to have escorted her home. In the afternoon, however, it came on to rain heavily; and, supposing that she would remain all night at her aunt’s, (as she had done under similar circumstances before,) he did not think it necessary to keep his promise. As night drew on, Madame Rogêt (who was an infirm old lady, seventy years of age,) was heard to express a fear “that she should never see Marie again;” but this observation attracted little attention at the time.

Marie Rogêt left her mother's house on Rue Pavée St. Andrée around nine o’clock in the morning on Sunday, June 22, 18—. Before heading out, she informed only Monsieur Jacques St. Eustache of her plan to spend the day with an aunt who lived on Rue des Drômes. Rue des Drômes is a short and narrow but busy street, not far from the riverbanks, about two miles away from Madame Rogêt's boarding house. St. Eustache was Marie's accepted suitor and lived and ate at the boarding house. He was supposed to pick her up at dusk and walk her home. However, in the afternoon, it started to rain heavily, and assuming she would stay the night at her aunt’s (as she had done in similar situations before), he decided not to keep his promise. As night fell, Madame Rogêt, who was an elderly woman of seventy, expressed concern that she might never see Marie again, but this comment didn’t seem to get much attention at the time.

On Monday, it was ascertained that the girl had not been to the Rue des Drômes; and when the day elapsed without tidings of her, a tardy search was instituted at several points in the city, and its environs. It was not, however until the fourth day from the period of disappearance that any thing satisfactory was ascertained respecting her. On this day, (Wednesday, the twenty-fifth of June,) a Monsieur Beauvais, (*8) who, with a friend, had been making inquiries for Marie near the Barrière du Roule, on the shore of the Seine which is opposite the Rue Pavée St. Andrée, was informed that a corpse had just been towed ashore by some fishermen, who had found it floating in the river. Upon seeing the body, Beauvais, after some hesitation, identified it as that of the perfumery-girl. His friend recognized it more promptly.

On Monday, it was confirmed that the girl had not been to Rue des Drômes; and when the day went by without any news of her, a delayed search was started at several locations in the city and its surroundings. However, it wasn't until the fourth day after her disappearance that anything concrete was discovered about her. On this day, (Wednesday, June 25th,) a Monsieur Beauvais, (*8) who, along with a friend, had been asking around for Marie near the Barrière du Roule, by the Seine across from Rue Pavée St. Andrée, was told that a body had just been pulled ashore by some fishermen who found it floating in the river. After seeing the body, Beauvais, after some hesitation, identified it as that of the perfume girl. His friend recognized it more quickly.

The face was suffused with dark blood, some of which issued from the mouth. No foam was seen, as in the case of the merely drowned. There was no discoloration in the cellular tissue. About the throat were bruises and impressions of fingers. The arms were bent over on the chest and were rigid. The right hand was clenched; the left partially open. On the left wrist were two circular excoriations, apparently the effect of ropes, or of a rope in more than one volution. A part of the right wrist, also, was much chafed, as well as the back throughout its extent, but more especially at the shoulder-blades. In bringing the body to the shore the fishermen had attached to it a rope; but none of the excoriations had been effected by this. The flesh of the neck was much swollen. There were no cuts apparent, or bruises which appeared the effect of blows. A piece of lace was found tied so tightly around the neck as to be hidden from sight; it was completely buried in the flesh, and was fastened by a knot which lay just under the left ear. This alone would have sufficed to produce death. The medical testimony spoke confidently of the virtuous character of the deceased. She had been subjected, it said, to brutal violence. The corpse was in such condition when found, that there could have been no difficulty in its recognition by friends.

The face was covered in dark blood, some of which was coming from the mouth. There was no froth, unlike in cases of drowning. The tissue showed no discoloration. There were bruises and marks from fingers around the throat. The arms were bent over the chest and were stiff. The right hand was clenched, while the left was partially open. On the left wrist were two circular scratches, likely from ropes, or from a rope wound around multiple times. Part of the right wrist was also heavily chafed, along with the back, especially at the shoulder blades. When the fishermen brought the body to the shore, they had used a rope, but none of the scratches were caused by that. The flesh of the neck was greatly swollen. There were no visible cuts or bruises that looked like they were from blows. A piece of lace was found tightly wrapped around the neck, hidden from view; it was deeply embedded in the flesh and fastened with a knot just below the left ear. This alone could have caused death. The medical testimony confidently stated that the deceased had a good character and had suffered brutal violence. The body was in such condition when found that friends would have had no trouble recognizing it.

The dress was much torn and otherwise disordered. In the outer garment, a slip, about a foot wide, had been torn upward from the bottom hem to the waist, but not torn off. It was wound three times around the waist, and secured by a sort of hitch in the back. The dress immediately beneath the frock was of fine muslin; and from this a slip eighteen inches wide had been torn entirely out—torn very evenly and with great care. It was found around her neck, fitting loosely, and secured with a hard knot. Over this muslin slip and the slip of lace, the strings of a bonnet were attached; the bonnet being appended. The knot by which the strings of the bonnet were fastened, was not a lady’s, but a slip or sailor’s knot.

The dress was badly torn and disheveled. In the outer layer, a strip about a foot wide had been ripped from the bottom hem to the waist, but it wasn’t completely detached. It was wrapped three times around the waist and held in place with a kind of knot at the back. The dress right under the frock was made of fine muslin; and from this, a strip eighteen inches wide had been completely removed—torn out very evenly and with great care. It was found around her neck, hanging loosely, and tied with a tight knot. Over this muslin slip and the lace slip, the strings of a bonnet were attached; the bonnet was hanging down. The knot that secured the bonnet strings wasn’t a lady’s knot, but a slip or sailor’s knot.

After the recognition of the corpse, it was not, as usual, taken to the Morgue, (this formality being superfluous,) but hastily interred not far from the spot at which it was brought ashore. Through the exertions of Beauvais, the matter was industriously hushed up, as far as possible; and several days had elapsed before any public emotion resulted. A weekly paper, (*9) however, at length took up the theme; the corpse was disinterred, and a re-examination instituted; but nothing was elicited beyond what has been already noted. The clothes, however, were now submitted to the mother and friends of the deceased, and fully identified as those worn by the girl upon leaving home.

After the body was identified, it wasn’t taken to the morgue as usual (that formality was unnecessary), but was quickly buried not far from where it was brought ashore. Thanks to Beauvais, the situation was kept quiet as much as possible, and several days passed before there was any public reaction. Eventually, however, a weekly newspaper took up the story; the body was exhumed, and a new examination was conducted, but nothing new was discovered beyond what had already been noted. The clothes were then shown to the mother and friends of the deceased and were positively identified as those worn by the girl when she left home.

Meantime, the excitement increased hourly. Several individuals were arrested and discharged. St. Eustache fell especially under suspicion; and he failed, at first, to give an intelligible account of his whereabouts during the Sunday on which Marie left home. Subsequently, however, he submitted to Monsieur G——, affidavits, accounting satisfactorily for every hour of the day in question. As time passed and no discovery ensued, a thousand contradictory rumors were circulated, and journalists busied themselves in suggestions. Among these, the one which attracted the most notice, was the idea that Marie Rogêt still lived—that the corpse found in the Seine was that of some other unfortunate. It will be proper that I submit to the reader some passages which embody the suggestion alluded to. These passages are literal translations from L’Etoile, (*10) a paper conducted, in general, with much ability.

In the meantime, the excitement grew with each passing hour. Several people were arrested and later released. St. Eustache came under special suspicion; he initially struggled to provide a clear explanation of where he had been on the Sunday when Marie left home. However, he later provided Monsieur G—— with affidavits that satisfactorily accounted for every hour of that day. As time went on without any new discoveries, countless conflicting rumors spread, and journalists busied themselves with theories. Among these, the one that drew the most attention was the speculation that Marie Rogêt was still alive—that the body found in the Seine actually belonged to someone else. I should share with the reader some excerpts that reflect this theory. These excerpts are direct translations from L’Etoile, (*10) a publication generally known for its strong reporting.

“Mademoiselle Rogêt left her mother’s house on Sunday morning, June the twenty-second, 18—, with the ostensible purpose of going to see her aunt, or some other connexion, in the Rue des Drômes. From that hour, nobody is proved to have seen her. There is no trace or tidings of her at all.... There has no person, whatever, come forward, so far, who saw her at all, on that day, after she left her mother’s door.... Now, though we have no evidence that Marie Rogêt was in the land of the living after nine o’clock on Sunday, June the twenty-second, we have proof that, up to that hour, she was alive. On Wednesday noon, at twelve, a female body was discovered afloat on the shore of the Barrière de Roule. This was, even if we presume that Marie Rogêt was thrown into the river within three hours after she left her mother’s house, only three days from the time she left her home—three days to an hour. But it is folly to suppose that the murder, if murder was committed on her body, could have been consummated soon enough to have enabled her murderers to throw the body into the river before midnight. Those who are guilty of such horrid crimes choose darkness rather the light.... Thus we see that if the body found in the river was that of Marie Rogêt, it could only have been in the water two and a half days, or three at the outside. All experience has shown that drowned bodies, or bodies thrown into the water immediately after death by violence, require from six to ten days for decomposition to take place to bring them to the top of the water. Even where a cannon is fired over a corpse, and it rises before at least five or six days’ immersion, it sinks again, if let alone. Now, we ask, what was there in this case to cause a departure from the ordinary course of nature?... If the body had been kept in its mangled state on shore until Tuesday night, some trace would be found on shore of the murderers. It is a doubtful point, also, whether the body would be so soon afloat, even were it thrown in after having been dead two days. And, furthermore, it is exceedingly improbable that any villains who had committed such a murder as is here supposed, would have thrown the body in without weight to sink it, when such a precaution could have so easily been taken.”

“Mademoiselle Rogêt left her mother’s house on Sunday morning, June twenty-second, 18—, supposedly to visit her aunt or some other relative on Rue des Drômes. After that time, nobody has been confirmed to have seen her. There's no sign or news of her at all.... So far, no one has come forward who saw her on that day after she left her mother's door.... Now, while we have no evidence that Marie Rogêt was alive after nine o’clock on Sunday, June twenty-second, we do have proof that she was alive up until that hour. On Wednesday at noon, a female body was found floating on the shore of the Barrière de Roule. Even if we assume that Marie Rogêt was thrown into the river within three hours after leaving her mother’s house, it was still only three days since she left home—three days to the hour. But it's foolish to think that if murder was committed, it could have happened quickly enough for her killers to throw her body into the river before midnight. Those who commit such horrific crimes prefer darkness to light.... Therefore, if the body found in the river was indeed Marie Rogêt, it could only have been in the water for two and a half days, or three at most. All experience shows that drowned bodies, or bodies tossed into the water immediately after violent death, usually take six to ten days to decompose enough to rise to the surface. Even when a cannon is fired over a corpse, it won't rise before at least five or six days of being submerged; if left alone, it sinks again. Now, we need to ask, what was different in this case that caused a break from the usual nature?... If the body had been left in its damaged state on the shore until Tuesday night, there would be some evidence of the murderers found on the shore. It’s also questionable whether the body would be floating so soon, even if it was thrown in after two days of being dead. Moreover, it's highly unlikely that any criminals who committed such a supposed murder would have thrown the body in without something to weigh it down, especially when it would have been so easy to do so.”

The editor here proceeds to argue that the body must have been in the water “not three days merely, but, at least, five times three days,” because it was so far decomposed that Beauvais had great difficulty in recognizing it. This latter point, however, was fully disproved. I continue the translation:

The editor argues that the body must have been in the water "not just three days, but at least fifteen days," because it was so decomposed that Beauvais had a hard time recognizing it. However, this point was completely disproven. I continue the translation:

“What, then, are the facts on which M. Beauvais says that he has no doubt the body was that of Marie Rogêt? He ripped up the gown sleeve, and says he found marks which satisfied him of the identity. The public generally supposed those marks to have consisted of some description of scars. He rubbed the arm and found hair upon it—something as indefinite, we think, as can readily be imagined—as little conclusive as finding an arm in the sleeve. M. Beauvais did not return that night, but sent word to Madame Rogêt, at seven o’clock, on Wednesday evening, that an investigation was still in progress respecting her daughter. If we allow that Madame Rogêt, from her age and grief, could not go over, (which is allowing a great deal,) there certainly must have been some one who would have thought it worth while to go over and attend the investigation, if they thought the body was that of Marie. Nobody went over. There was nothing said or heard about the matter in the Rue Pavée St. Andrée, that reached even the occupants of the same building. M. St. Eustache, the lover and intended husband of Marie, who boarded in her mother’s house, deposes that he did not hear of the discovery of the body of his intended until the next morning, when M. Beauvais came into his chamber and told him of it. For an item of news like this, it strikes us it was very coolly received.”

“What are the facts that M. Beauvais claims leave him no doubt the body was Marie Rogêt’s? He tore open the sleeve of the gown and says he found marks that convinced him of the identity. The public mostly thought those marks were some kind of scars. He rubbed the arm and found hair on it—something as vague as can be imagined—just as inconclusive as finding an arm in the sleeve. M. Beauvais didn’t return that night but informed Madame Rogêt at seven o’clock on Wednesday evening that the investigation regarding her daughter was still ongoing. If we assume that due to her age and grief, Madame Rogêt couldn’t go (which is quite a lot to assume), there had to be someone who would find it worthwhile to attend the investigation if they thought the body belonged to Marie. No one went. There was no mention or news about it in Rue Pavée St. Andrée that even reached the people living in the same building. M. St. Eustache, Marie’s boyfriend and intended husband, who was staying at her mother’s house, testified that he didn’t hear about the discovery of his fiancée’s body until the next morning when M. Beauvais came into his room and told him. For news like this, it seems to us it was received rather coolly.”

In this way the journal endeavored to create the impression of an apathy on the part of the relatives of Marie, inconsistent with the supposition that these relatives believed the corpse to be hers. Its insinuations amount to this: that Marie, with the connivance of her friends, had absented herself from the city for reasons involving a charge against her chastity; and that these friends, upon the discovery of a corpse in the Seine, somewhat resembling that of the girl, had availed themselves of the opportunity to impress the public with the belief of her death. But L’Etoile was again over-hasty. It was distinctly proved that no apathy, such as was imagined, existed; that the old lady was exceedingly feeble, and so agitated as to be unable to attend to any duty; that St. Eustache, so far from receiving the news coolly, was distracted with grief, and bore himself so frantically, that M. Beauvais prevailed upon a friend and relative to take charge of him, and prevent his attending the examination at the disinterment. Moreover, although it was stated by L’Etoile, that the corpse was re-interred at the public expense—that an advantageous offer of private sculpture was absolutely declined by the family—and that no member of the family attended the ceremonial;—although, I say, all this was asserted by L’Etoile in furtherance of the impression it designed to convey—yet all this was satisfactorily disproved. In a subsequent number of the paper, an attempt was made to throw suspicion upon Beauvais himself. The editor says:

In this way, the journal aimed to create the impression that Marie's relatives were apathetic, which contradicted the assumption that they believed the corpse was hers. Its implications were that Marie, with the help of her friends, had left the city due to accusations against her purity; and that when a body resembling her was found in the Seine, her friends seized the opportunity to convince the public that she was dead. However, L’Etoile was too quick to judge. It was clearly established that no apathy, as suggested, existed; that the elderly lady was incredibly frail and too distressed to handle any responsibilities; that St. Eustache, rather than taking the news calmly, was overcome with grief and behaved so chaotically that M. Beauvais had to ask a friend and relative to look after him and keep him from attending the examination during the exhumation. Furthermore, although L’Etoile claimed that the corpse was re-buried at public expense—pointing out that the family had completely turned down a generous offer for private burial—and stated that no family member was present at the ceremony—though all of this was stated by L’Etoile to support the narrative it wanted to push—every claim was convincingly disproved. In a later issue of the paper, the editor attempted to cast suspicion on Beauvais himself. The editor says:

“Now, then, a change comes over the matter. We are told that on one occasion, while a Madame B—— was at Madame Rogêt’s house, M. Beauvais, who was going out, told her that a gendarme was expected there, and she, Madame B., must not say anything to the gendarme until he returned, but let the matter be for him.... In the present posture of affairs, M. Beauvais appears to have the whole matter locked up in his head. A single step cannot be taken without M. Beauvais, for, go which way you will, you run against him.... For some reason, he determined that nobody shall have any thing to do with the proceedings but himself, and he has elbowed the male relatives out of the way, according to their representations, in a very singular manner. He seems to have been very much averse to permitting the relatives to see the body.”

“Now, a change occurs in the situation. We're told that one time, while Madame B—— was at Madame Rogêt’s house, M. Beauvais, who was leaving, informed her that a police officer was expected there, and she, Madame B., shouldn’t say anything to the officer until he returned, but should let him handle it. In the current state of things, M. Beauvais seems to have the entire situation figured out in his mind. No action can be taken without M. Beauvais, because whatever direction you choose, you run into him. For some reason, he decided that no one else would have anything to do with the process but himself, and he has pushed the male relatives aside in a very peculiar way according to their accounts. He seems to have been quite resistant to allowing the relatives to see the body.”

By the following fact, some color was given to the suspicion thus thrown upon Beauvais. A visitor at his office, a few days prior to the girl’s disappearance, and during the absence of its occupant, had observed a rose in the key-hole of the door, and the name “Marie” inscribed upon a slate which hung near at hand.

By the following fact, some color was given to the suspicion thrown upon Beauvais. A visitor at his office, a few days before the girl disappeared, and during the occupant's absence, noticed a rose in the keyhole of the door and the name “Marie” written on a slate nearby.

The general impression, so far as we were enabled to glean it from the newspapers, seemed to be, that Marie had been the victim of a gang of desperadoes—that by these she had been borne across the river, maltreated and murdered. Le Commerciel, (*11) however, a print of extensive influence, was earnest in combating this popular idea. I quote a passage or two from its columns:

The general impression, based on what we gathered from the newspapers, seemed to be that Marie had fallen victim to a group of criminals—that they had taken her across the river, mistreated her, and killed her. Le Commerciel, (*11) however, a widely read publication, was dedicated to challenging this common belief. Here are a couple of quotes from its articles:

“We are persuaded that pursuit has hitherto been on a false scent, so far as it has been directed to the Barrière du Roule. It is impossible that a person so well known to thousands as this young woman was, should have passed three blocks without some one having seen her; and any one who saw her would have remembered it, for she interested all who knew her. It was when the streets were full of people, when she went out.... It is impossible that she could have gone to the Barrière du Roule, or to the Rue des Drômes, without being recognized by a dozen persons; yet no one has come forward who saw her outside of her mother’s door, and there is no evidence, except the testimony concerning her expressed intentions, that she did go out at all. Her gown was torn, bound round her, and tied; and by that the body was carried as a bundle. If the murder had been committed at the Barrière du Roule, there would have been no necessity for any such arrangement. The fact that the body was found floating near the Barrière, is no proof as to where it was thrown into the water..... A piece of one of the unfortunate girl’s petticoats, two feet long and one foot wide, was torn out and tied under her chin around the back of her head, probably to prevent screams. This was done by fellows who had no pocket-handkerchief.”

"We believe that the search has so far been looking in the wrong place, particularly at the Barrière du Roule. There's no way someone as well-known as this young woman could have walked three blocks without someone seeing her; anyone who did would definitely remember her because she captivated everyone who met her. She was out when the streets were packed with people.... She couldn’t have gone to the Barrière du Roule or the Rue des Drômes without being spotted by several people; yet no one has come forward claiming to have seen her outside her mother's door, and there’s no evidence, aside from what others say about her plans, that she even left the house. Her dress was torn, wrapped around her, and tied; it was as if the body was carried like a bundle. If the murder had happened at the Barrière du Roule, there would’ve been no need for such an arrangement. The fact that the body was found floating near the Barrière doesn’t prove where it was tossed into the water..... A piece of the poor girl’s petticoat, two feet long and one foot wide, was ripped off and tied under her chin, around the back of her head, probably to muffle any screams. This was done by guys who didn’t have any handkerchiefs."

A day or two before the Prefect called upon us, however, some important information reached the police, which seemed to overthrow, at least, the chief portion of Le Commerciel’s argument. Two small boys, sons of a Madame Deluc, while roaming among the woods near the Barrière du Roule, chanced to penetrate a close thicket, within which were three or four large stones, forming a kind of seat, with a back and footstool. On the upper stone lay a white petticoat; on the second a silk scarf. A parasol, gloves, and a pocket-handkerchief were also here found. The handkerchief bore the name “Marie Rogêt.” Fragments of dress were discovered on the brambles around. The earth was trampled, the bushes were broken, and there was every evidence of a struggle. Between the thicket and the river, the fences were found taken down, and the ground bore evidence of some heavy burthen having been dragged along it.

A day or two before the Prefect visited us, some important information reached the police that seemed to undermine, at least, the main part of Le Commerciel’s argument. Two young boys, sons of Madame Deluc, were exploring the woods near the Barrière du Roule when they stumbled upon a dense thicket. Inside, they found three or four large stones arranged like a seat with a backrest and footstool. On the top stone lay a white petticoat; on the second was a silk scarf. A parasol, gloves, and a pocket-handkerchief were also found there. The handkerchief had the name “Marie Rogêt” on it. Fragments of clothing were discovered in the surrounding brambles. The ground was trampled, the bushes were broken, and there was clear evidence of a struggle. Between the thicket and the river, the fences had been torn down, and the ground showed signs of something heavy being dragged across it.

A weekly paper, Le Soleil,(*12) had the following comments upon this discovery—comments which merely echoed the sentiment of the whole Parisian press:

A weekly publication, Le Soleil,(*12) had these thoughts on the discovery—thoughts that reflected the opinion of the entire Parisian media:

“The things had all evidently been there at least three or four weeks; they were all mildewed down hard with the action of the rain and stuck together from mildew. The grass had grown around and over some of them. The silk on the parasol was strong, but the threads of it were run together within. The upper part, where it had been doubled and folded, was all mildewed and rotten, and tore on its being opened..... The pieces of her frock torn out by the bushes were about three inches wide and six inches long. One part was the hem of the frock, and it had been mended; the other piece was part of the skirt, not the hem. They looked like strips torn off, and were on the thorn bush, about a foot from the ground..... There can be no doubt, therefore, that the spot of this appalling outrage has been discovered.”

The things had clearly been there for at least three or four weeks; they were all covered in mildew from the rain and stuck together with it. The grass had grown around and over some of them. The silk on the parasol was strong, but the threads were tangled inside. The top part, where it had been folded, was completely mildewed and rotten, and it tore when it was opened... The pieces of her dress that were snagged by the bushes were about three inches wide and six inches long. One piece was the hem of the dress, and it had been repaired; the other piece was from the skirt, not the hem. They looked like strips that had been torn off and were caught on the thorn bush, about a foot off the ground... There can be no doubt that the location of this shocking incident has been found.

Consequent upon this discovery, new evidence appeared. Madame Deluc testified that she keeps a roadside inn not far from the bank of the river, opposite the Barrière du Roule. The neighborhood is secluded—particularly so. It is the usual Sunday resort of blackguards from the city, who cross the river in boats. About three o’clock, in the afternoon of the Sunday in question, a young girl arrived at the inn, accompanied by a young man of dark complexion. The two remained here for some time. On their departure, they took the road to some thick woods in the vicinity. Madame Deluc’s attention was called to the dress worn by the girl, on account of its resemblance to one worn by a deceased relative. A scarf was particularly noticed. Soon after the departure of the couple, a gang of miscreants made their appearance, behaved boisterously, ate and drank without making payment, followed in the route of the young man and girl, returned to the inn about dusk, and re-crossed the river as if in great haste.

As a result of this discovery, new evidence came to light. Madame Deluc testified that she runs a roadside inn not far from the riverbank, across from the Barrière du Roule. The area is quite secluded, especially so. It's a common Sunday hangout for troublemakers from the city, who cross the river by boat. Around three in the afternoon on the Sunday in question, a young girl showed up at the inn, accompanied by a young man with a dark complexion. The two stayed there for a while. When they left, they headed toward some thick woods nearby. Madame Deluc noticed the dress the girl was wearing because it looked like one worn by a deceased relative. A scarf stood out in particular. Shortly after the couple left, a gang of troublemakers arrived, acted rowdily, ate and drank without paying, followed the route taken by the young man and girl, returned to the inn around dusk, and hurriedly crossed back over the river.

It was soon after dark, upon this same evening, that Madame Deluc, as well as her eldest son, heard the screams of a female in the vicinity of the inn. The screams were violent but brief. Madame D. recognized not only the scarf which was found in the thicket, but the dress which was discovered upon the corpse. An omnibus driver, Valence, (*13) now also testified that he saw Marie Rogêt cross a ferry on the Seine, on the Sunday in question, in company with a young man of dark complexion. He, Valence, knew Marie, and could not be mistaken in her identity. The articles found in the thicket were fully identified by the relatives of Marie.

It was soon after dark on that same evening when Madame Deluc and her eldest son heard screams from a woman near the inn. The screams were loud but short-lived. Madame Deluc recognized not only the scarf found in the bushes but also the dress discovered on the corpse. An omnibus driver named Valence now testified that he saw Marie Rogêt cross a ferry on the Seine that Sunday with a young man who had a dark complexion. Valence knew Marie and was sure it was her. The items found in the bushes were positively identified by Marie's relatives.

The items of evidence and information thus collected by myself, from the newspapers, at the suggestion of Dupin, embraced only one more point—but this was a point of seemingly vast consequence. It appears that, immediately after the discovery of the clothes as above described, the lifeless, or nearly lifeless body of St. Eustache, Marie’s betrothed, was found in the vicinity of what all now supposed the scene of the outrage. A phial labelled “laudanum,” and emptied, was found near him. His breath gave evidence of the poison. He died without speaking. Upon his person was found a letter, briefly stating his love for Marie, with his design of self-destruction.

The evidence and information I gathered from the newspapers, based on Dupin's suggestion, included one more detail—but it was a detail of seemingly great importance. It turns out that right after the discovery of the clothes mentioned earlier, the lifeless, or nearly lifeless, body of St. Eustache, Marie’s fiancé, was found near what everyone now believed was the scene of the crime. A bottle labeled “laudanum,” which was empty, was discovered nearby. His breath indicated the presence of poison. He died without saying a word. On him was a letter briefly expressing his love for Marie and his intention to take his own life.

“I need scarcely tell you,” said Dupin, as he finished the perusal of my notes, “that this is a far more intricate case than that of the Rue Morgue; from which it differs in one important respect. This is an ordinary, although an atrocious instance of crime. There is nothing peculiarly outré about it. You will observe that, for this reason, the mystery has been considered easy, when, for this reason, it should have been considered difficult, of solution. Thus; at first, it was thought unnecessary to offer a reward. The myrmidons of G—— were able at once to comprehend how and why such an atrocity might have been committed. They could picture to their imaginations a mode—many modes—and a motive—many motives; and because it was not impossible that either of these numerous modes and motives could have been the actual one, they have taken it for granted that one of them must. But the case with which these variable fancies were entertained, and the very plausibility which each assumed, should have been understood as indicative rather of the difficulties than of the facilities which must attend elucidation. I have before observed that it is by prominences above the plane of the ordinary, that reason feels her way, if at all, in her search for the true, and that the proper question in cases such as this, is not so much ‘what has occurred?’ as ‘what has occurred that has never occurred before?’ In the investigations at the house of Madame L’Espanaye, (*14) the agents of G—— were discouraged and confounded by that very unusualness which, to a properly regulated intellect, would have afforded the surest omen of success; while this same intellect might have been plunged in despair at the ordinary character of all that met the eye in the case of the perfumery-girl, and yet told of nothing but easy triumph to the functionaries of the Prefecture.

“I hardly need to tell you,” Dupin said as he finished reading my notes, “that this is a much more complex case than the one at the Rue Morgue; it differs in one key way. This is a typical, though horrific, example of crime. There's nothing particularly bizarre about it. For this reason, people have thought the mystery was easy, when it should actually have been seen as difficult to solve. Initially, it was believed unnecessary to offer a reward. The agents of G—— were quick to grasp how and why such a crime might have been committed. They could imagine several methods—and many motives—and because it wasn’t impossible that any of these varied methods and motives could be the actual one, they assumed that one of them must be. However, the ease with which these varying ideas were entertained and the very plausibility each one had should have been seen as a sign of the challenges rather than the solutions that would be involved in figuring this out. I have pointed out before that it is through things that stand out from the ordinary that reason navigates, if at all, in its quest for the truth, and that the real question in cases like this is less ‘what has happened?’ and more ‘what has happened that has never happened before?’ In the investigations at Madame L’Espanaye’s house, (*14) the agents of G—— were disheartened and confused by the very unusualness that, to a properly tuned mind, would have been the best indicator of success; while this same mind might have found itself in despair over the ordinary nature of everything in the case of the perfumery girl, which still spelled nothing but easy victory for the officials of the Prefecture.”

“In the case of Madame L’Espanaye and her daughter there was, even at the beginning of our investigation, no doubt that murder had been committed. The idea of suicide was excluded at once. Here, too, we are freed, at the commencement, from all supposition of self-murder. The body found at the Barrière du Roule, was found under such circumstances as to leave us no room for embarrassment upon this important point. But it has been suggested that the corpse discovered, is not that of the Marie Rogêt for the conviction of whose assassin, or assassins, the reward is offered, and respecting whom, solely, our agreement has been arranged with the Prefect. We both know this gentleman well. It will not do to trust him too far. If, dating our inquiries from the body found, and thence tracing a murderer, we yet discover this body to be that of some other individual than Marie; or, if starting from the living Marie, we find her, yet find her unassassinated—in either case we lose our labor; since it is Monsieur G—— with whom we have to deal. For our own purpose, therefore, if not for the purpose of justice, it is indispensable that our first step should be the determination of the identity of the corpse with the Marie Rogêt who is missing.

“In the case of Madame L’Espanaye and her daughter, there was, even at the start of our investigation, no doubt that murder had taken place. The idea of suicide was ruled out immediately. Here, too, we are relieved, from the very beginning, of any assumption of self-murder. The body found at the Barrière du Roule was discovered under circumstances that left us no room for doubt on this crucial point. But there has been a suggestion that the corpse found is not that of Marie Rogêt, for whose killer or killers the reward is being offered, and regarding whom, specifically, our agreement has been made with the Prefect. We both know this gentleman well. It wouldn’t be wise to trust him too much. If we base our inquiries on the body found and then trace a murderer, only to discover this body belongs to someone other than Marie; or, if we start with the living Marie and find her, yet find her unharmed—in either case, we will have wasted our effort; since it is Monsieur G—— we are dealing with. Therefore, for our own purposes, if not for the sake of justice, it’s essential that our first step is to confirm the identity of the corpse with the missing Marie Rogêt.”

“With the public the arguments of L’Etoile have had weight; and that the journal itself is convinced of their importance would appear from the manner in which it commences one of its essays upon the subject—‘Several of the morning papers of the day,’ it says, ‘speak of the conclusive article in Monday’s Etoile.’ To me, this article appears conclusive of little beyond the zeal of its inditer. We should bear in mind that, in general, it is the object of our newspapers rather to create a sensation—to make a point—than to further the cause of truth. The latter end is only pursued when it seems coincident with the former. The print which merely falls in with ordinary opinion (however well founded this opinion may be) earns for itself no credit with the mob. The mass of the people regard as profound only him who suggests pungent contradictions of the general idea. In ratiocination, not less than in literature, it is the epigram which is the most immediately and the most universally appreciated. In both, it is of the lowest order of merit.

“With the public, the arguments of L’Etoile have carried weight; and the journal itself seems to recognize their importance, as seen in how it begins one of its essays on the topic—‘Several of the morning papers today,’ it states, ‘mention the conclusive article in Monday’s Etoile.’ To me, this article seems conclusive about little beyond the enthusiasm of its author. We should keep in mind that, generally, our newspapers aim more to create a sensation—to make a point—than to promote the truth. The latter goal is only pursued when it aligns with the former. A publication that simply agrees with mainstream opinion (no matter how well founded that opinion may be) gains no credit with the masses. The general public considers only those who suggest pungent contradictions to the prevailing idea to be insightful. In reasoning, just like in literature, it’s the epigram that gets the most immediate and widespread appreciation. In both cases, it represents the lowest level of merit."

“What I mean to say is, that it is the mingled epigram and melodrame of the idea, that Marie Rogêt still lives, rather than any true plausibility in this idea, which have suggested it to L’Etoile, and secured it a favorable reception with the public. Let us examine the heads of this journal’s argument; endeavoring to avoid the incoherence with which it is originally set forth.

“What I mean is that it’s the combined cleverness and drama of the idea that Marie Rogêt is still alive, rather than any real likelihood of this idea, that has led L’Etoile to suggest it and has helped it gain a positive response from the public. Let’s take a closer look at the main points of this journal's argument, trying to avoid the confusion in which it was initially presented.”

“The first aim of the writer is to show, from the brevity of the interval between Marie’s disappearance and the finding of the floating corpse, that this corpse cannot be that of Marie. The reduction of this interval to its smallest possible dimension, becomes thus, at once, an object with the reasoner. In the rash pursuit of this object, he rushes into mere assumption at the outset. ‘It is folly to suppose,’ he says, ‘that the murder, if murder was committed on her body, could have been consummated soon enough to have enabled her murderers to throw the body into the river before midnight.’ We demand at once, and very naturally, why? Why is it folly to suppose that the murder was committed within five minutes after the girl’s quitting her mother’s house? Why is it folly to suppose that the murder was committed at any given period of the day? There have been assassinations at all hours. But, had the murder taken place at any moment between nine o’clock in the morning of Sunday, and a quarter before midnight, there would still have been time enough ‘to throw the body into the river before midnight.’ This assumption, then, amounts precisely to this—that the murder was not committed on Sunday at all—and, if we allow L’Etoile to assume this, we may permit it any liberties whatever. The paragraph beginning ‘It is folly to suppose that the murder, etc.,’ however it appears as printed in L’Etoile, may be imagined to have existed actually thus in the brain of its inditer—‘It is folly to suppose that the murder, if murder was committed on the body, could have been committed soon enough to have enabled her murderers to throw the body into the river before midnight; it is folly, we say, to suppose all this, and to suppose at the same time, (as we are resolved to suppose,) that the body was not thrown in until after midnight’—a sentence sufficiently inconsequential in itself, but not so utterly preposterous as the one printed.

The writer's primary goal is to demonstrate, through the short time between Marie’s disappearance and the discovery of the floating body, that this body can't be Marie's. The aim of reducing this time to its smallest possible length becomes a focus for the reasoner. In the reckless pursuit of this aim, he rushes into mere assumptions right from the start. "It’s foolish to think," he states, "that if a murder was committed on her body, it could have happened soon enough for her killers to throw the body into the river before midnight." We immediately and understandably ask, why? Why is it foolish to think that the murder happened within five minutes after the girl left her mother's house? Why is it foolish to think the murder happened at any specific time of day? There have been murders at all hours. But if the murder occurred at any time between nine o’clock in the morning on Sunday and a quarter before midnight, there would still have been enough time "to throw the body into the river before midnight." This assumption therefore amounts to nothing more than saying the murder didn’t happen on Sunday at all—and if we let L’Etoile assume that, we might as well allow it any other liberties. The paragraph beginning with "It is folly to suppose that the murder, etc."—as it appears printed in L’Etoile—can be imagined to have actually existed in the mind of its writer as follows: "It is folly to suppose that the murder, if murder was committed on the body, could have occurred soon enough for her killers to throw the body into the river before midnight; it is foolish, we say, to believe all this, and to simultaneously assume, (as we are determined to assume,) that the body wasn’t thrown in until after midnight"—a statement that is somewhat irrelevant on its own, but not nearly as ridiculous as the one that was printed.

“Were it my purpose,” continued Dupin, “merely to make out a case against this passage of L’Etoile’s argument, I might safely leave it where it is. It is not, however, with L’Etoile that we have to do, but with the truth. The sentence in question has but one meaning, as it stands; and this meaning I have fairly stated; but it is material that we go behind the mere words, for an idea which these words have obviously intended, and failed to convey. It was the design of the journalist to say that, at whatever period of the day or night of Sunday this murder was committed, it was improbable that the assassins would have ventured to bear the corpse to the river before midnight. And herein lies, really, the assumption of which I complain. It is assumed that the murder was committed at such a position, and under such circumstances, that the bearing it to the river became necessary. Now, the assassination might have taken place upon the river’s brink, or on the river itself; and, thus, the throwing the corpse in the water might have been resorted to, at any period of the day or night, as the most obvious and most immediate mode of disposal. You will understand that I suggest nothing here as probable, or as cöincident with my own opinion. My design, so far, has no reference to the facts of the case. I wish merely to caution you against the whole tone of L’Etoile’s suggestion, by calling your attention to its ex parte character at the outset.

"Had my goal," Dupin continued, "simply been to argue against this part of L’Etoile’s argument, I could easily just leave it as it is. However, we aren't just dealing with L’Etoile; we're after the truth. The sentence in question has only one meaning, as it stands, and I've stated that meaning clearly. But it's important that we look beyond just the words to uncover an idea that these words clearly intended to express but failed to convey. The journalist aimed to say that, no matter what time on Sunday this murder occurred, it was unlikely the killers would have dared to take the body to the river before midnight. And that's where my issue lies. It's assumed that the murder took place in such a way and under such circumstances that moving the body to the river became necessary. However, the murder could have happened right by the river or even in the river itself; therefore, disposing of the body in the water could have been done at any time of day or night as the most obvious and immediate option. Let me clarify that I'm not suggesting anything here as likely or coinciding with my own beliefs. My intent thus far has no relation to the actual facts of the case. I simply want to warn you about the overall mindset of L’Etoile’s suggestion by highlighting its biased nature from the beginning."

“Having prescribed thus a limit to suit its own preconceived notions; having assumed that, if this were the body of Marie, it could have been in the water but a very brief time, the journal goes on to say:

“Having set a limit based on its own assumptions; having taken for granted that, if this were Marie's body, it could have been in the water for only a very short time, the journal continues:

‘All experience has shown that drowned bodies, or bodies thrown into the water immediately after death by violence, require from six to ten days for sufficient decomposition to take place to bring them to the top of the water. Even when a cannon is fired over a corpse, and it rises before at least five or six days’ immersion, it sinks again if let alone.’

‘All experience has shown that drowned bodies, or bodies thrown into the water right after dying from violence, need about six to ten days for enough decomposition to occur to bring them to the surface. Even when a cannon is fired over a corpse, and it rises before it has been submerged for at least five or six days, it will sink again if left alone.’

“These assertions have been tacitly received by every paper in Paris, with the exception of Le Moniteur. (*15) This latter print endeavors to combat that portion of the paragraph which has reference to ‘drowned bodies’ only, by citing some five or six instances in which the bodies of individuals known to be drowned were found floating after the lapse of less time than is insisted upon by L’Etoile. But there is something excessively unphilosophical in the attempt on the part of Le Moniteur, to rebut the general assertion of L’Etoile, by a citation of particular instances militating against that assertion. Had it been possible to adduce fifty instead of five examples of bodies found floating at the end of two or three days, these fifty examples could still have been properly regarded only as exceptions to L’Etoile’s rule, until such time as the rule itself should be confuted. Admitting the rule, (and this Le Moniteur does not deny, insisting merely upon its exceptions,) the argument of L’Etoile is suffered to remain in full force; for this argument does not pretend to involve more than a question of the probability of the body having risen to the surface in less than three days; and this probability will be in favor of L’Etoile’s position until the instances so childishly adduced shall be sufficient in number to establish an antagonistical rule.

“Every newspaper in Paris has taken these claims seriously, except for Le Moniteur. (*15) This publication tries to counter the part of the statement that refers to ‘drowned bodies’ by citing five or six cases where individuals known to have drowned were found floating after a shorter period than what L’Etoile insists on. However, it’s quite unphilosophical for Le Moniteur to challenge L’Etoile's general statement by presenting specific instances that go against it. Even if there were fifty examples of bodies found floating after just two or three days, these would still be considered exceptions to L’Etoile’s rule until the rule itself is disproven. Accepting the rule (which Le Moniteur does not deny but merely points out exceptions to), L’Etoile's argument remains valid; it only concerns the likelihood of a body rising to the surface in less than three days. This likelihood will support L’Etoile’s view until the instances mentioned are numerous enough to establish a contradictory rule.”

“You will see at once that all argument upon this head should be urged, if at all, against the rule itself; and for this end we must examine the rationale of the rule. Now the human body, in general, is neither much lighter nor much heavier than the water of the Seine; that is to say, the specific gravity of the human body, in its natural condition, is about equal to the bulk of fresh water which it displaces. The bodies of fat and fleshy persons, with small bones, and of women generally, are lighter than those of the lean and large-boned, and of men; and the specific gravity of the water of a river is somewhat influenced by the presence of the tide from sea. But, leaving this tide out of question, it may be said that very few human bodies will sink at all, even in fresh water, of their own accord. Almost any one, falling into a river, will be enabled to float, if he suffer the specific gravity of the water fairly to be adduced in comparison with his own—that is to say, if he suffer his whole person to be immersed, with as little exception as possible. The proper position for one who cannot swim, is the upright position of the walker on land, with the head thrown fully back, and immersed; the mouth and nostrils alone remaining above the surface. Thus circumstanced, we shall find that we float without difficulty and without exertion. It is evident, however, that the gravities of the body, and of the bulk of water displaced, are very nicely balanced, and that a trifle will cause either to preponderate. An arm, for instance, uplifted from the water, and thus deprived of its support, is an additional weight sufficient to immerse the whole head, while the accidental aid of the smallest piece of timber will enable us to elevate the head so as to look about. Now, in the struggles of one unused to swimming, the arms are invariably thrown upwards, while an attempt is made to keep the head in its usual perpendicular position. The result is the immersion of the mouth and nostrils, and the inception, during efforts to breathe while beneath the surface, of water into the lungs. Much is also received into the stomach, and the whole body becomes heavier by the difference between the weight of the air originally distending these cavities, and that of the fluid which now fills them. This difference is sufficient to cause the body to sink, as a general rule; but is insufficient in the cases of individuals with small bones and an abnormal quantity of flaccid or fatty matter. Such individuals float even after drowning.

You’ll notice right away that any argument on this topic should be directed at the rule itself, so we need to look at the reasoning behind the rule. Generally, the human body weighs about the same as the water in the Seine; in other words, the specific gravity of the human body, when it's in a natural state, is roughly equal to the weight of the fresh water it displaces. People who are overweight or have more flesh, with smaller bones—especially women—are lighter than those who are lean and have large bones, typically men. Additionally, the specific gravity of river water can be somewhat affected by the tidal influence from the sea. But if we ignore the tide, it's safe to say that very few human bodies actually sink in fresh water on their own. Almost anyone who falls into a river can float if they let the specific gravity of the water be compared to their own—that is, if they immerse their entire body as much as possible. The best position for someone who can't swim is standing upright like a walker on land, with their head fully tilted back, only their mouth and nostrils remaining above water. In this position, we can float easily without any effort. However, it’s clear that the body’s weight and the volume of water displaced are closely balanced, and even a small change can tip that balance. For example, lifting an arm out of the water takes away its support and can easily submerge the head, while even a small piece of wood can help raise the head above water to look around. In the panic of someone untrained in swimming, their arms instinctively go up, trying to keep their head in its usual position. The result is that the mouth and nostrils go underwater, and when they try to breathe while submerged, water gets into their lungs. A lot also enters the stomach, making the whole body heavier because of the difference between the weight of the air that was originally in those cavities and the fluid that now fills them. This difference usually causes the body to sink but doesn’t apply to people with smaller bones and a lot of loose or fatty tissue. Such individuals can float even after drowning.

“The corpse, being supposed at the bottom of the river, will there remain until, by some means, its specific gravity again becomes less than that of the bulk of water which it displaces. This effect is brought about by decomposition, or otherwise. The result of decomposition is the generation of gas, distending the cellular tissues and all the cavities, and giving the puffed appearance which is so horrible. When this distension has so far progressed that the bulk of the corpse is materially increased without a corresponding increase of mass or weight, its specific gravity becomes less than that of the water displaced, and it forthwith makes its appearance at the surface. But decomposition is modified by innumerable circumstances—is hastened or retarded by innumerable agencies; for example, by the heat or cold of the season, by the mineral impregnation or purity of the water, by its depth or shallowness, by its currency or stagnation, by the temperament of the body, by its infection or freedom from disease before death. Thus it is evident that we can assign no period, with any thing like accuracy, at which the corpse shall rise through decomposition. Under certain conditions this result would be brought about within an hour; under others, it might not take place at all. There are chemical infusions by which the animal frame can be preserved forever from corruption; the bi-chloride of mercury is one. But, apart from decomposition, there may be, and very usually is, a generation of gas within the stomach, from the acetous fermentation of vegetable matter (or within other cavities from other causes), sufficient to induce a distension which will bring the body to the surface. The effect produced by the firing of a cannon is that of simple vibration. This may either loosen the corpse from the soft mud or ooze in which it is imbedded, thus permitting it to rise when other agencies have already prepared it for so doing; or it may overcome the tenacity of some putrescent portions of the cellular tissue; allowing the cavities to distend under the influence of the gas.

The body, believed to be at the bottom of the river, will stay there until its specific gravity becomes lighter than the water it displaces. This change occurs due to decomposition or other factors. Decomposition produces gas, which causes the tissues and cavities to swell, giving it a disturbing, bloated appearance. Once this swelling has progressed enough that the body’s volume increases without a corresponding increase in mass or weight, its specific gravity drops below that of the displaced water, and it will rise to the surface. However, decomposition is affected by countless factors—it can be sped up or slowed down by many influences, such as the temperature of the season, the mineral content or purity of the water, its depth or shallowness, its flow or stillness, the body's condition, or whether it had any diseases before death. Thus, it is clear that we cannot accurately determine when a body will rise due to decomposition. Under certain circumstances, this might happen within an hour; in other situations, it might not happen at all. There are chemical solutions that can preserve a body from decay indefinitely; one example is bi-chloride of mercury. Additionally, aside from decomposition, gas can build up in the stomach from the breakdown of plant matter (or in other cavities for various reasons), which can cause sufficient swelling to bring the body to the surface. The impact of a cannon firing results in simple vibrations. This may either dislodge the body from the soft mud where it is trapped, allowing it to rise when other processes have prepared it, or it might weaken some rotting parts of the tissue, letting the cavities swell from gas buildup.

“Having thus before us the whole philosophy of this subject, we can easily test by it the assertions of L’Etoile. ‘All experience shows,’ says this paper, ‘that drowned bodies, or bodies thrown into the water immediately after death by violence, require from six to ten days for sufficient decomposition to take place to bring them to the top of the water. Even when a cannon is fired over a corpse, and it rises before at least five or six days’ immersion, it sinks again if let alone.’

“Now that we have a clear understanding of the entire philosophy behind this topic, we can easily evaluate L’Etoile's claims. This paper states, ‘All experience shows that drowned bodies, or bodies thrown into the water immediately after dying from violence, take about six to ten days to decompose enough for them to float to the surface. Even when a cannon is fired over a corpse, and it rises after at least five or six days of being submerged, it will sink again if left alone.’”

“The whole of this paragraph must now appear a tissue of inconsequence and incoherence. All experience does not show that ‘drowned bodies’ require from six to ten days for sufficient decomposition to take place to bring them to the surface. Both science and experience show that the period of their rising is, and necessarily must be, indeterminate. If, moreover, a body has risen to the surface through firing of cannon, it will not ‘sink again if let alone,’ until decomposition has so far progressed as to permit the escape of the generated gas. But I wish to call your attention to the distinction which is made between ‘drowned bodies,’ and ‘bodies thrown into the water immediately after death by violence.’ Although the writer admits the distinction, he yet includes them all in the same category. I have shown how it is that the body of a drowning man becomes specifically heavier than its bulk of water, and that he would not sink at all, except for the struggles by which he elevates his arms above the surface, and his gasps for breath while beneath the surface—gasps which supply by water the place of the original air in the lungs. But these struggles and these gasps would not occur in the body ‘thrown into the water immediately after death by violence.’ Thus, in the latter instance, the body, as a general rule, would not sink at all—a fact of which L’Etoile is evidently ignorant. When decomposition had proceeded to a very great extent—when the flesh had in a great measure left the bones—then, indeed, but not till then, should we lose sight of the corpse.

This entire paragraph now seems like a jumble of contradictions and confusion. Experience doesn’t show that ‘drowned bodies’ take six to ten days for enough decomposition to happen for them to float to the surface. Both science and experience indicate that the time it takes for them to rise is, and must be, unpredictable. Furthermore, if a body floats to the surface due to cannon fire, it won’t ‘sink back down if left alone’ until decomposition has progressed enough to allow the release of the gas that's built up. But I want to point out the difference made between ‘drowned bodies’ and ‘bodies thrown into the water right after dying from violence.’ While the writer acknowledges this difference, he still puts them all in the same group. I’ve explained how the body of a drowning man becomes specifically heavier than the water around it, and that it wouldn’t sink at all, except for the struggles that lift his arms above the surface and his gasps for air while under the water—gasps that replace the original air in the lungs with water. But these struggles and gasps wouldn’t happen in a body ‘thrown into the water right after dying from violence.’ So, in that case, the body generally wouldn’t sink at all—a fact that L’Etoile clearly doesn’t understand. When decomposition has gone very far—when the flesh has mostly fallen away from the bones—then, and only then, would we lose sight of the corpse.

“And now what are we to make of the argument, that the body found could not be that of Marie Rogêt, because, three days only having elapsed, this body was found floating? If drowned, being a woman, she might never have sunk; or having sunk, might have reappeared in twenty-four hours, or less. But no one supposes her to have been drowned; and, dying before being thrown into the river, she might have been found floating at any period afterwards whatever.

“And now what are we supposed to think about the argument that the body found couldn't be that of Marie Rogêt because only three days had passed and this body was found floating? If she drowned, being a woman, she might never have sunk; or if she did sink, she could have reappeared in twenty-four hours or less. But no one thinks she actually drowned; and, if she died before being thrown into the river, she could have been found floating at any time afterward.”

“‘But,’ says L’Etoile, ‘if the body had been kept in its mangled state on shore until Tuesday night, some trace would be found on shore of the murderers.’ Here it is at first difficult to perceive the intention of the reasoner. He means to anticipate what he imagines would be an objection to his theory—viz.: that the body was kept on shore two days, suffering rapid decomposition—more rapid than if immersed in water. He supposes that, had this been the case, it might have appeared at the surface on the Wednesday, and thinks that only under such circumstances it could so have appeared. He is accordingly in haste to show that it was not kept on shore; for, if so, ‘some trace would be found on shore of the murderers.’ I presume you smile at the sequitur. You cannot be made to see how the mere duration of the corpse on the shore could operate to multiply traces of the assassins. Nor can I.

“‘But,’ says L’Etoile, ‘if the body had been left in its mangled state onshore until Tuesday night, there would be some evidence of the murderers found on the shore.’ At first, it’s hard to understand the reasoning here. He’s trying to address what he thinks might be an objection to his theory—that the body was on land for two days, decomposing quickly—more quickly than if it had been in the water. He argues that if that were the case, it might have floated to the surface on Wednesday, and believes it could only have done so under those circumstances. So, he hurriedly wants to prove that it wasn’t left onshore; because if it was, ‘some trace would be found on shore of the murderers.’ I assume you’re chuckling at that conclusion. You can’t see how simply leaving the corpse on the shore could increase the evidence of the killers. Neither can I.”

“‘And furthermore it is exceedingly improbable,’ continues our journal, ‘that any villains who had committed such a murder as is here supposed, would have thrown the body in without weight to sink it, when such a precaution could have so easily been taken.’ Observe, here, the laughable confusion of thought! No one—not even L’Etoile—disputes the murder committed on the body found. The marks of violence are too obvious. It is our reasoner’s object merely to show that this body is not Marie’s. He wishes to prove that Marie is not assassinated—not that the corpse was not. Yet his observation proves only the latter point. Here is a corpse without weight attached. Murderers, casting it in, would not have failed to attach a weight. Therefore it was not thrown in by murderers. This is all which is proved, if any thing is. The question of identity is not even approached, and L’Etoile has been at great pains merely to gainsay now what it has admitted only a moment before. ‘We are perfectly convinced,’ it says, ‘that the body found was that of a murdered female.’

“‘Moreover, it’s highly unlikely,’ our journal continues, ‘that any criminals who committed such a murder as is being suggested would have thrown the body in without a weight to sink it, when such a precaution could have been so easily taken.’ Notice the ridiculous confusion in thought! No one—not even L’Etoile—disputes the murder committed on the body found. The signs of violence are too clear. The reasoner’s goal is simply to show that this body is not Marie’s. He aims to prove that Marie was not murdered—not that the corpse wasn’t. Yet his argument only proves the latter. Here is a corpse without any weight attached. Murderers, throwing it in, wouldn’t have failed to attach a weight. Therefore it wasn’t thrown in by murderers. That’s all that’s proven, if anything at all. The issue of identity isn’t even addressed, and L’Etoile has gone to great lengths just to contradict what it had admitted only moments earlier. ‘We are completely convinced,’ it states, ‘that the body found was that of a murdered woman.’”

“Nor is this the sole instance, even in this division of his subject, where our reasoner unwittingly reasons against himself. His evident object, I have already said, is to reduce, as much as possible, the interval between Marie’s disappearance and the finding of the corpse. Yet we find him urging the point that no person saw the girl from the moment of her leaving her mother’s house. ‘We have no evidence,’ he says, ‘that Marie Rogêt was in the land of the living after nine o’clock on Sunday, June the twenty-second.’ As his argument is obviously an ex parte one, he should, at least, have left this matter out of sight; for had any one been known to see Marie, say on Monday, or on Tuesday, the interval in question would have been much reduced, and, by his own ratiocination, the probability much diminished of the corpse being that of the grisette. It is, nevertheless, amusing to observe that L’Etoile insists upon its point in the full belief of its furthering its general argument.

“Nor is this the only instance, even in this part of his topic, where our reasoner unintentionally argues against himself. His clear goal, as I’ve already mentioned, is to minimize the gap between Marie’s disappearance and the discovery of the body. Yet, we see him emphasizing that no one saw the girl from the moment she left her mother’s house. ‘We have no evidence,’ he states, ‘that Marie Rogêt was alive after nine o’clock on Sunday, June twenty-second.’ Since his argument is clearly one-sided, he should have left this issue out entirely; if anyone had been known to see Marie, say on Monday or Tuesday, the time frame would have been significantly shortened, and, by his own reasoning, the likelihood of the body being that of the young woman would be greatly reduced. Still, it’s amusing to note that L’Etoile insists on this point, fully believing it supports his overall argument.”

“Reperuse now that portion of this argument which has reference to the identification of the corpse by Beauvais. In regard to the hair upon the arm, L’Etoile has been obviously disingenuous. M. Beauvais, not being an idiot, could never have urged, in identification of the corpse, simply hair upon its arm. No arm is without hair. The generality of the expression of L’Etoile is a mere perversion of the witness’ phraseology. He must have spoken of some peculiarity in this hair. It must have been a peculiarity of color, of quantity, of length, or of situation.

“Revisit that part of this argument that discusses Beauvais identifying the corpse. L’Etoile has clearly been misleading regarding the hair on the arm. M. Beauvais, not being foolish, would never have claimed that the hair on the arm was sufficient for recognizing the corpse. Every arm has hair. L’Etoile's vague phrasing is simply a distortion of what the witness actually said. He must have referred to a specific detail about this hair. It likely involved something unique about its color, amount, length, or position.”

“‘Her foot,’ says the journal, ‘was small—so are thousands of feet. Her garter is no proof whatever—nor is her shoe—for shoes and garters are sold in packages. The same may be said of the flowers in her hat. One thing upon which M. Beauvais strongly insists is, that the clasp on the garter found, had been set back to take it in. This amounts to nothing; for most women find it proper to take a pair of garters home and fit them to the size of the limbs they are to encircle, rather than to try them in the store where they purchase.’ Here it is difficult to suppose the reasoner in earnest. Had M. Beauvais, in his search for the body of Marie, discovered a corpse corresponding in general size and appearance to the missing girl, he would have been warranted (without reference to the question of habiliment at all) in forming an opinion that his search had been successful. If, in addition to the point of general size and contour, he had found upon the arm a peculiar hairy appearance which he had observed upon the living Marie, his opinion might have been justly strengthened; and the increase of positiveness might well have been in the ratio of the peculiarity, or unusualness, of the hairy mark. If, the feet of Marie being small, those of the corpse were also small, the increase of probability that the body was that of Marie would not be an increase in a ratio merely arithmetical, but in one highly geometrical, or accumulative. Add to all this shoes such as she had been known to wear upon the day of her disappearance, and, although these shoes may be ‘sold in packages,’ you so far augment the probability as to verge upon the certain. What, of itself, would be no evidence of identity, becomes through its corroborative position, proof most sure. Give us, then, flowers in the hat corresponding to those worn by the missing girl, and we seek for nothing farther. If only one flower, we seek for nothing farther—what then if two or three, or more? Each successive one is multiple evidence—proof not added to proof, but multiplied by hundreds or thousands. Let us now discover, upon the deceased, garters such as the living used, and it is almost folly to proceed. But these garters are found to be tightened, by the setting back of a clasp, in just such a manner as her own had been tightened by Marie, shortly previous to her leaving home. It is now madness or hypocrisy to doubt. What L’Etoile says in respect to this abbreviation of the garters being an usual occurrence, shows nothing beyond its own pertinacity in error. The elastic nature of the clasp-garter is self-demonstration of the unusualness of the abbreviation. What is made to adjust itself, must of necessity require foreign adjustment but rarely. It must have been by an accident, in its strictest sense, that these garters of Marie needed the tightening described. They alone would have amply established her identity. But it is not that the corpse was found to have the garters of the missing girl, or found to have her shoes, or her bonnet, or the flowers of her bonnet, or her feet, or a peculiar mark upon the arm, or her general size and appearance—it is that the corpse had each, and all collectively. Could it be proved that the editor of L’Etoile really entertained a doubt, under the circumstances, there would be no need, in his case, of a commission de lunatico inquirendo. He has thought it sagacious to echo the small talk of the lawyers, who, for the most part, content themselves with echoing the rectangular precepts of the courts. I would here observe that very much of what is rejected as evidence by a court, is the best of evidence to the intellect. For the court, guiding itself by the general principles of evidence—the recognized and booked principles—is averse from swerving at particular instances. And this steadfast adherence to principle, with rigorous disregard of the conflicting exception, is a sure mode of attaining the maximum of attainable truth, in any long sequence of time. The practice, in mass, is therefore philosophical; but it is not the less certain that it engenders vast individual error. (*16)

“‘Her foot,’ says the journal, ‘was small—so are thousands of feet. Her garter is no proof at all—nor is her shoe—for shoes and garters come in packages. The same can be said for the flowers in her hat. One thing that M. Beauvais strongly insists on is that the clasp on the garter found had been adjusted to fit her. This means nothing; most women prefer to take a pair of garters home and size them for the limbs they’re meant for rather than trying them on in the store.’ Here, it’s hard to believe the reasoner is serious. Had M. Beauvais, in his search for Marie's body, discovered a corpse that generally matched the size and appearance of the missing girl, he would've been justified (regardless of the clothing question) in thinking his search was successful. If, in addition to general size and shape, he had noticed a unique hairy spot on the arm that he recognized from the living Marie, his belief might justifiably be stronger; and the likelihood of that belief could increase with the peculiarity of the hairy mark. If Marie’s feet were small and the corpse’s feet were also small, the probability that the body belonged to Marie wouldn’t just increase arithmetically, but would grow exponentially. Add shoes that she was known to wear on the day she vanished, and even if those shoes may be ‘sold in packages,’ you greatly boost the probability, almost to the point of certainty. What might not be considered evidence of identity on its own becomes definitive proof when combined. So, if we find flowers in the hat that match those worn by the missing girl, we look for nothing more. If there's even one flower, we look for nothing more—what then if there are two, three, or more? Each additional flower provides more evidence—proof not added to proof, but multiplied by hundreds or thousands. Now, if we discover garters on the deceased that belonged to the girl, it seems foolish to continue. But these garters are found tightened, adjusted by a clasp, just as Marie had tightened her own right before leaving home. At this point, to doubt is either madness or hypocrisy. What L’Etoile says about the shortening of the garters being common doesn’t prove anything except its own stubbornness in being wrong. The elastic nature of the clasp-garter clearly shows the unusualness of it being adjusted. Anything designed to self-adjust typically requires outside adjustment only infrequently. It must have been an accident, in the strictest sense, that these garters belonging to Marie needed tightening as described. They alone would have clearly established her identity. But it’s not just that the corpse had the missing girl’s garters, or shoes, or bonnet, or the flowers from her bonnet, or her feet, or a unique mark on the arm, or her general size and appearance—it’s that the corpse had each and all collectively. Were it proven that the editor of L’Etoile really had doubt, there would be no need for a commission to investigate his sanity. He seems to think it wise to repeat the gossip of the lawyers, who mostly just regurgitate the basic principles of the courts. I would note that much of what is dismissed as evidence by a court is actually the best evidence for the intellect. The court, following the general principles of evidence—the established and documented principles—resists deviating in particular cases. This steadfast adherence to principle, while rigorously ignoring conflicting exceptions, is a solid method for achieving the greatest possible truth over time. The overall practice is thus philosophical; however, it certainly leads to significant individual error. (*16)

“In respect to the insinuations levelled at Beauvais, you will be willing to dismiss them in a breath. You have already fathomed the true character of this good gentleman. He is a busy-body, with much of romance and little of wit. Any one so constituted will readily so conduct himself, upon occasion of real excitement, as to render himself liable to suspicion on the part of the over acute, or the ill-disposed. M. Beauvais (as it appears from your notes) had some personal interviews with the editor of L’Etoile, and offended him by venturing an opinion that the corpse, notwithstanding the theory of the editor, was, in sober fact, that of Marie. ‘He persists,’ says the paper, ‘in asserting the corpse to be that of Marie, but cannot give a circumstance, in addition to those which we have commented upon, to make others believe.’ Now, without re-adverting to the fact that stronger evidence ‘to make others believe,’ could never have been adduced, it may be remarked that a man may very well be understood to believe, in a case of this kind, without the ability to advance a single reason for the belief of a second party. Nothing is more vague than impressions of individual identity. Each man recognizes his neighbor, yet there are few instances in which any one is prepared to give a reason for his recognition. The editor of L’Etoile had no right to be offended at M. Beauvais’ unreasoning belief.

“With regard to the accusations against Beauvais, you should be quick to brush them off. You’ve already figured out the true nature of this good man. He’s a meddler, full of romantic notions but lacking in wit. Someone like him will easily behave in a way that raises suspicions among the overly perceptive or those with bad intentions. M. Beauvais (as you noted) had some personal meetings with the editor of L’Etoile and upset him by suggesting that the body, despite the editor's theory, actually belonged to Marie. ‘He insists,’ the paper says, ‘that the body is that of Marie but can’t provide any reason, beyond what we’ve discussed, to convince others.’ Now, without going back to the point that stronger evidence ‘to convince others’ could never have been presented, it’s worth noting that a person can firmly believe in a case like this without being able to offer one reason for someone else to share that belief. There’s nothing more ambiguous than feelings of individual identity. Everyone can recognize their neighbor, yet there are few situations where anyone is ready to explain how they know. The editor of L’Etoile had no right to be upset over M. Beauvais’ instinctive belief.”

“The suspicious circumstances which invest him, will be found to tally much better with my hypothesis of romantic busy-bodyism, than with the reasoner’s suggestion of guilt. Once adopting the more charitable interpretation, we shall find no difficulty in comprehending the rose in the key-hole; the ‘Marie’ upon the slate; the ‘elbowing the male relatives out of the way;’ the ‘aversion to permitting them to see the body;’ the caution given to Madame B——, that she must hold no conversation with the gendarme until his return (Beauvais’); and, lastly, his apparent determination ‘that nobody should have anything to do with the proceedings except himself.’ It seems to me unquestionable that Beauvais was a suitor of Marie’s; that she coquetted with him; and that he was ambitious of being thought to enjoy her fullest intimacy and confidence. I shall say nothing more upon this point; and, as the evidence fully rebuts the assertion of L’Etoile, touching the matter of apathy on the part of the mother and other relatives—an apathy inconsistent with the supposition of their believing the corpse to be that of the perfumery-girl—we shall now proceed as if the question of identity were settled to our perfect satisfaction.”

The suspicious circumstances surrounding him align much better with my theory of romantic meddling than with the idea of guilt that the reasoner suggested. Once we adopt the more generous interpretation, we’ll easily understand the rose in the keyhole, the ‘Marie’ written on the slate, the act of pushing the male relatives aside, the reluctance to let them view the body, the warning given to Madame B—— that she shouldn’t talk to the gendarme until his return (Beauvais’), and finally, his clear determination that nobody should be involved in the proceedings except for him. It seems clear to me that Beauvais was a suitor of Marie; that she flirted with him; and that he wanted to be seen as enjoying her full intimacy and trust. I won’t elaborate further on this point; and since the evidence strongly contradicts L’Etoile's claim about the apathy of the mother and other relatives—an apathy that doesn’t fit with them believing the corpse to be that of the perfumery girl—we will now move forward as if the question of identity has been settled to our complete satisfaction.

“And what,” I here demanded, “do you think of the opinions of Le Commerciel?”

“And what,” I asked here, “do you think about Le Commerciel's opinions?”

“That, in spirit, they are far more worthy of attention than any which have been promulgated upon the subject. The deductions from the premises are philosophical and acute; but the premises, in two instances, at least, are founded in imperfect observation. Le Commerciel wishes to intimate that Marie was seized by some gang of low ruffians not far from her mother’s door. ‘It is impossible,’ it urges, ‘that a person so well known to thousands as this young woman was, should have passed three blocks without some one having seen her.’ This is the idea of a man long resident in Paris—a public man—and one whose walks to and fro in the city, have been mostly limited to the vicinity of the public offices. He is aware that he seldom passes so far as a dozen blocks from his own bureau, without being recognized and accosted. And, knowing the extent of his personal acquaintance with others, and of others with him, he compares his notoriety with that of the perfumery-girl, finds no great difference between them, and reaches at once the conclusion that she, in her walks, would be equally liable to recognition with himself in his. This could only be the case were her walks of the same unvarying, methodical character, and within the same species of limited region as are his own. He passes to and fro, at regular intervals, within a confined periphery, abounding in individuals who are led to observation of his person through interest in the kindred nature of his occupation with their own. But the walks of Marie may, in general, be supposed discursive. In this particular instance, it will be understood as most probable, that she proceeded upon a route of more than average diversity from her accustomed ones. The parallel which we imagine to have existed in the mind of Le Commerciel would only be sustained in the event of the two individuals traversing the whole city. In this case, granting the personal acquaintances to be equal, the chances would be also equal that an equal number of personal rencounters would be made. For my own part, I should hold it not only as possible, but as very far more than probable, that Marie might have proceeded, at any given period, by any one of the many routes between her own residence and that of her aunt, without meeting a single individual whom she knew, or by whom she was known. In viewing this question in its full and proper light, we must hold steadily in mind the great disproportion between the personal acquaintances of even the most noted individual in Paris, and the entire population of Paris itself.

“That, in essence, they deserve far more attention than any that have been published on the topic. The conclusions drawn from the premises are thoughtful and sharp; however, the premises themselves, at least in two instances, are based on limited observation. Le Commerciel suggests that Marie was grabbed by some gang of lowlifes not far from her mother's door. ‘It’s impossible,’ it argues, ‘that someone as well-known as this young woman could have walked three blocks without someone noticing her.’ This reflects the thinking of a man who has lived in Paris for a long time—a public figure whose movements have mostly been restricted to the area around public offices. He knows he rarely walks more than a dozen blocks from his own office without being recognized and approached. Aware of the extent of his personal connections with others, and vice versa, he compares his fame to that of the girl selling perfume, sees little difference between them, and immediately concludes that she, on her walks, would be just as likely to be recognized as he is. This would only hold true if her routes were as routine and limited as his. He moves back and forth, at regular intervals, within a small area crowded with people who notice him due to their interest in the similar nature of his work. But Marie’s walks can generally be assumed to be more varied. In this specific case, it’s likely that she took a route that was different from her usual ones. The comparison that Le Commerciel seems to make would only apply if both individuals traversed the entire city. In this situation, assuming their personal connections are equal, the chances of encountering an equal number of people would also be the same. For my part, I would argue that it’s not only possible but very likely that Marie could have taken any of the numerous routes between her home and her aunt’s without running into a single person she knew, or who knew her. To properly consider this question, we must keep in mind the vast disparity between the personal acquaintances of even the most famous person in Paris and the city’s entire population.”

“But whatever force there may still appear to be in the suggestion of Le Commerciel, will be much diminished when we take into consideration the hour at which the girl went abroad. ‘It was when the streets were full of people,’ says Le Commerciel, ‘that she went out.’ But not so. It was at nine o’clock in the morning. Now at nine o’clock of every morning in the week, with the exception of Sunday, the streets of the city are, it is true, thronged with people. At nine on Sunday, the populace are chiefly within doors preparing for church. No observing person can have failed to notice the peculiarly deserted air of the town, from about eight until ten on the morning of every Sabbath. Between ten and eleven the streets are thronged, but not at so early a period as that designated.

“But whatever influence there may still seem to be in Le Commerciel's suggestion will be greatly reduced when we consider the time the girl went out. ‘It was when the streets were full of people,’ says Le Commerciel, ‘that she went out.’ But that’s not true. It was at nine o’clock in the morning. Now, at nine o’clock every morning of the week, except Sunday, the city streets are indeed crowded with people. At nine on Sunday, most people are still inside getting ready for church. Anyone who pays attention can't miss the eerily empty feeling of the town from about eight until ten on every Sunday morning. Between ten and eleven, the streets are packed, but not at that early hour.”

“There is another point at which there seems a deficiency of observation on the part of Le Commerciel. ‘A piece,’ it says, ‘of one of the unfortunate girl’s petticoats, two feet long, and one foot wide, was torn out and tied under her chin, and around the back of her head, probably to prevent screams. This was done, by fellows who had no pocket-handkerchiefs.’ Whether this idea is, or is not well founded, we will endeavor to see hereafter; but by ‘fellows who have no pocket-handkerchiefs’ the editor intends the lowest class of ruffians. These, however, are the very description of people who will always be found to have handkerchiefs even when destitute of shirts. You must have had occasion to observe how absolutely indispensable, of late years, to the thorough blackguard, has become the pocket-handkerchief.”

“There's another point where Le Commerciel seems to lack observation. It says, ‘A piece of one of the unfortunate girl’s petticoats, two feet long and one foot wide, was torn out and tied under her chin and around the back of her head, probably to prevent screams. This was done by guys who had no pocket-handkerchiefs.’ Whether this idea is valid or not, we'll try to explore later; but by ‘guys who have no pocket-handkerchiefs,’ the editor means the lowest class of thugs. However, these are exactly the type of people who always seem to have handkerchiefs, even when they’re short on shirts. You’ve probably noticed how absolutely essential a pocket-handkerchief has become for the complete scoundrel in recent years.”

“And what are we to think,” I asked, “of the article in Le Soleil?”

“And what are we supposed to think,” I asked, “about the article in Le Soleil?”

“That it is a vast pity its inditer was not born a parrot—in which case he would have been the most illustrious parrot of his race. He has merely repeated the individual items of the already published opinion; collecting them, with a laudable industry, from this paper and from that. ‘The things had all evidently been there,’ he says, ‘at least, three or four weeks, and there can be no doubt that the spot of this appalling outrage has been discovered.’ The facts here re-stated by Le Soleil, are very far indeed from removing my own doubts upon this subject, and we will examine them more particularly hereafter in connexion with another division of the theme.

“It’s a huge shame that the writer wasn’t born a parrot—if he had been, he would have been the most famous parrot of his kind. He has just repeated bits and pieces of opinions that have already been published; collecting them, with commendable effort, from this paper and that. ‘The facts have clearly been present for at least three or four weeks, and there’s no doubt that the location of this horrific event has been found,’ he claims. The facts presented again by Le Soleil do not eliminate my own doubts about this matter, and we will look at them more closely later in relation to another part of the topic.”

“At present we must occupy ourselves with other investigations. You cannot fail to have remarked the extreme laxity of the examination of the corpse. To be sure, the question of identity was readily determined, or should have been; but there were other points to be ascertained. Had the body been in any respect despoiled? Had the deceased any articles of jewelry about her person upon leaving home? if so, had she any when found? These are important questions utterly untouched by the evidence; and there are others of equal moment, which have met with no attention. We must endeavor to satisfy ourselves by personal inquiry. The case of St. Eustache must be re-examined. I have no suspicion of this person; but let us proceed methodically. We will ascertain beyond a doubt the validity of the affidavits in regard to his whereabouts on the Sunday. Affidavits of this character are readily made matter of mystification. Should there be nothing wrong here, however, we will dismiss St. Eustache from our investigations. His suicide, however corroborative of suspicion, were there found to be deceit in the affidavits, is, without such deceit, in no respect an unaccountable circumstance, or one which need cause us to deflect from the line of ordinary analysis.

“Right now, we need to focus on other investigations. You must have noticed how careless the examination of the body was. Sure, the question of identity was quickly determined, or it should have been; but there were other important details to figure out. Had the body been disturbed in any way? Did the deceased have any jewelry with her when she left home? If so, was it still there when she was found? These are crucial questions that the evidence hasn't addressed at all; there are other equally important ones that have also been ignored. We need to make sure we ask these questions ourselves. The case of St. Eustache needs to be looked at again. I don’t suspect this person, but let’s proceed methodically. We will confirm the accuracy of the statements regarding his whereabouts on Sunday. Such statements can easily be manipulated. However, if everything checks out, we will remove St. Eustache from our inquiries. His suicide, while it raises suspicion, would not be surprising or draw us away from standard analysis if the statements turn out to be truthful.”

“In that which I now propose, we will discard the interior points of this tragedy, and concentrate our attention upon its outskirts. Not the least usual error, in investigations such as this, is the limiting of inquiry to the immediate, with total disregard of the collateral or circumstantial events. It is the mal-practice of the courts to confine evidence and discussion to the bounds of apparent relevancy. Yet experience has shown, and a true philosophy will always show, that a vast, perhaps the larger portion of truth, arises from the seemingly irrelevant. It is through the spirit of this principle, if not precisely through its letter, that modern science has resolved to calculate upon the unforeseen. But perhaps you do not comprehend me. The history of human knowledge has so uninterruptedly shown that to collateral, or incidental, or accidental events we are indebted for the most numerous and most valuable discoveries, that it has at length become necessary, in any prospective view of improvement, to make not only large, but the largest allowances for inventions that shall arise by chance, and quite out of the range of ordinary expectation. It is no longer philosophical to base, upon what has been, a vision of what is to be. Accident is admitted as a portion of the substructure. We make chance a matter of absolute calculation. We subject the unlooked for and unimagined to the mathematical formulae of the schools.

“In what I’m about to discuss, we’ll set aside the inner details of this tragedy and focus on its broader context. A common mistake in investigations like this is to limit our inquiry to the immediate facts, ignoring the surrounding or circumstantial events. Courts often fall into the trap of restricting evidence and discussion to what seems relevant. However, experience has indicated, and true philosophy will always reveal, that a significant amount—perhaps the majority—of truth emerges from what may appear irrelevant. This principle has led modern science to account for the unexpected. But maybe I'm not being clear. The history of human knowledge has consistently demonstrated that we owe many of our most important discoveries to collateral, incidental, or accidental events, making it essential, in any forward-looking assessment of progress, to allow not just for significant, but the most substantial opportunities for inventions that arise by chance and are beyond ordinary expectations. It’s no longer rational to envision the future solely based on the past. Chance is recognized as part of the foundation. We treat randomness as a matter of precise calculation. We apply the unanticipated and unimaginable to the mathematical formulas of the schools.”

“I repeat that it is no more than fact, that the larger portion of all truth has sprung from the collateral; and it is but in accordance with the spirit of the principle involved in this fact, that I would divert inquiry, in the present case, from the trodden and hitherto unfruitful ground of the event itself, to the contemporary circumstances which surround it. While you ascertain the validity of the affidavits, I will examine the newspapers more generally than you have as yet done. So far, we have only reconnoitred the field of investigation; but it will be strange indeed if a comprehensive survey, such as I propose, of the public prints, will not afford us some minute points which shall establish a direction for inquiry.”

“I want to reiterate that it’s simply a fact that a large part of all truth comes from related issues; and it’s in line with the essence of this fact that I want to shift our investigation from the well-trodden and previously unproductive area of the event itself to the current circumstances surrounding it. While you verify the validity of the affidavits, I will take a broader look at the newspapers than you have so far. Up to now, we’ve only done a preliminary exploration of the investigation field; but it would be quite surprising if a thorough review, like the one I’m suggesting, of the public prints doesn’t give us some specific details that could guide our inquiry.”

In pursuance of Dupin’s suggestion, I made scrupulous examination of the affair of the affidavits. The result was a firm conviction of their validity, and of the consequent innocence of St. Eustache. In the mean time my friend occupied himself, with what seemed to me a minuteness altogether objectless, in a scrutiny of the various newspaper files. At the end of a week he placed before me the following extracts:

Following Dupin’s suggestion, I carefully examined the case of the affidavits. The outcome was a strong belief in their validity and, therefore, the innocence of St. Eustache. Meanwhile, my friend occupied himself, in what seemed to me an entirely pointless way, with a detailed review of various newspaper archives. At the end of a week, he presented me with the following extracts:

“About three years and a half ago, a disturbance very similar to the present, was caused by the disappearance of this same Marie Rogêt, from the parfumerie of Monsieur Le Blanc, in the Palais Royal. At the end of a week, however, she re-appeared at her customary comptoir, as well as ever, with the exception of a slight paleness not altogether usual. It was given out by Monsieur Le Blanc and her mother, that she had merely been on a visit to some friend in the country; and the affair was speedily hushed up. We presume that the present absence is a freak of the same nature, and that, at the expiration of a week, or perhaps of a month, we shall have her among us again.”—Evening Paper—Monday, June 23. (*17)

“About three and a half years ago, a situation very similar to the current one arose when Marie Rogêt disappeared from the parfumerie of Monsieur Le Blanc in the Palais Royal. However, after a week, she showed up again at her usual counter, just as before, though she looked a bit paler than usual. Monsieur Le Blanc and her mother claimed she had just been visiting a friend in the countryside, and the matter was quickly dropped. We assume her current absence is another case of the same kind, and that in a week or maybe a month, we will have her back among us again.” —Evening Paper—Monday, June 23. (*17)

“An evening journal of yesterday, refers to a former mysterious disappearance of Mademoiselle Rogêt. It is well known that, during the week of her absence from Le Blanc’s parfumerie, she was in the company of a young naval officer, much noted for his debaucheries. A quarrel, it is supposed, providentially led to her return home. We have the name of the Lothario in question, who is, at present, stationed in Paris, but, for obvious reasons, forbear to make it public.”—Le Mercurie—Tuesday Morning, June 24. (*18)

“An evening report from yesterday discusses the previous mysterious disappearance of Mademoiselle Rogêt. It’s well known that during the week she was missing from Le Blanc’s perfume shop, she was with a young naval officer notorious for his wild lifestyle. It’s believed that a quarrel eventually prompted her to return home. We know the name of the womanizer in question, who is currently stationed in Paris, but for obvious reasons, we’re choosing not to disclose it.”—Le Mercurie—Tuesday Morning, June 24. (*18)

“An outrage of the most atrocious character was perpetrated near this city the day before yesterday. A gentleman, with his wife and daughter, engaged, about dusk, the services of six young men, who were idly rowing a boat to and fro near the banks of the Seine, to convey him across the river. Upon reaching the opposite shore, the three passengers stepped out, and had proceeded so far as to be beyond the view of the boat, when the daughter discovered that she had left in it her parasol. She returned for it, was seized by the gang, carried out into the stream, gagged, brutally treated, and finally taken to the shore at a point not far from that at which she had originally entered the boat with her parents. The villains have escaped for the time, but the police are upon their trail, and some of them will soon be taken.”—Morning Paper—June 25. (*19)

“An outrageous crime of the worst kind took place near this city the day before yesterday. A man, along with his wife and daughter, hired six young guys who were lazily rowing a boat back and forth by the banks of the Seine to take them across the river at dusk. Once they reached the other side, the three passengers got out and had walked far enough to be out of sight of the boat when the daughter realized she had left her parasol in it. She went back to get it, was grabbed by the gang, dragged out into the water, gagged, assaulted, and finally brought back to shore not far from where she had originally boarded the boat with her parents. The criminals have managed to escape for now, but the police are on their trail, and some of them will be caught soon.” —Morning Paper—June 25. (*19)

“We have received one or two communications, the object of which is to fasten the crime of the late atrocity upon Mennais; (*20) but as this gentleman has been fully exonerated by a loyal inquiry, and as the arguments of our several correspondents appear to be more zealous than profound, we do not think it advisable to make them public.”—Morning Paper—June 28. (*21)

“We have received a few messages aimed at pinning the recent crime on Mennais; (*20) but since this gentleman has been completely cleared by a thorough investigation, and our correspondents’ arguments seem to be more passionate than well-reasoned, we don’t think it’s wise to share them publicly.” —Morning Paper—June 28. (*21)

“We have received several forcibly written communications, apparently from various sources, and which go far to render it a matter of certainty that the unfortunate Marie Rogêt has become a victim of one of the numerous bands of blackguards which infest the vicinity of the city upon Sunday. Our own opinion is decidedly in favor of this supposition. We shall endeavor to make room for some of these arguments hereafter.”—Evening Paper—Tuesday, June 31. (*22)

“We have received several forcibly written messages, apparently from different sources, which make it almost certain that the unfortunate Marie Rogêt has become a victim of one of the many gangs of criminals that roam the area of the city on Sundays. Our own opinion strongly supports this assumption. We will try to provide some of these arguments later.” —Evening Paper—Tuesday, June 31. (*22)

“On Monday, one of the bargemen connected with the revenue service, saw a empty boat floating down the Seine. Sails were lying in the bottom of the boat. The bargeman towed it under the barge office. The next morning it was taken from thence, without the knowledge of any of the officers. The rudder is now at the barge office.”—Le Diligence—Thursday, June 26.

“On Monday, one of the bargemen working for the revenue service saw an empty boat drifting down the Seine. The sails were lying in the bottom of the boat. The bargeman towed it under the barge office. The next morning, it was removed from there without any of the officers knowing. The rudder is now at the barge office.”—Le Diligence—Thursday, June 26.

Upon reading these various extracts, they not only seemed to me irrelevant, but I could perceive no mode in which any one of them could be brought to bear upon the matter in hand. I waited for some explanation from Dupin.

Upon reading these various excerpts, they not only felt irrelevant to me, but I couldn't see any way any of them could be related to the situation at hand. I waited for some explanation from Dupin.

“It is not my present design,” he said, “to dwell upon the first and second of those extracts. I have copied them chiefly to show you the extreme remissness of the police, who, as far as I can understand from the Prefect, have not troubled themselves, in any respect, with an examination of the naval officer alluded to. Yet it is mere folly to say that between the first and second disappearance of Marie there is no supposable connection. Let us admit the first elopement to have resulted in a quarrel between the lovers, and the return home of the betrayed. We are now prepared to view a second elopement (if we know that an elopement has again taken place) as indicating a renewal of the betrayer’s advances, rather than as the result of new proposals by a second individual—we are prepared to regard it as a ‘making up’ of the old amour, rather than as the commencement of a new one. The chances are ten to one, that he who had once eloped with Marie, would again propose an elopement, rather than that she to whom proposals of elopement had been made by one individual, should have them made to her by another. And here let me call your attention to the fact, that the time elapsing between the first ascertained, and the second supposed elopement, is a few months more than the general period of the cruises of our men-of-war. Had the lover been interrupted in his first villany by the necessity of departure to sea, and had he seized the first moment of his return to renew the base designs not yet altogether accomplished—or not yet altogether accomplished by him? Of all these things we know nothing.

“It’s not my intention,” he said, “to focus on the first and second of those excerpts. I’ve copied them mainly to highlight the police’s extreme negligence, who, as far as I can gather from the Prefect, haven’t bothered to investigate the naval officer mentioned at all. However, it’s foolish to claim that there’s no possible connection between the first and second disappearance of Marie. Let’s assume the first elopement resulted in a fight between the lovers and the return home of the betrayed. We’re now ready to view a second elopement (if we know that one has happened again) as a sign of the betrayer’s renewed efforts, rather than as the result of new proposals from another person—we’re inclined to see it as a reconciliation of the old romance, rather than the start of a new one. The odds are ten to one that the one who had eloped with Marie would propose another elopement again, rather than her receiving such proposals from someone else. And let me point out that the time gap between the first confirmed and the second presumed elopement is just a few months longer than the usual duration of our warships’ cruises. Was the lover interrupted in his initial misdeed by the need to go to sea, and did he seize the first chance upon his return to revive his unfinished plans—or was it not fully accomplished by him yet? We know nothing about any of this.”

“You will say, however, that, in the second instance, there was no elopement as imagined. Certainly not—but are we prepared to say that there was not the frustrated design? Beyond St. Eustache, and perhaps Beauvais, we find no recognized, no open, no honorable suitors of Marie. Of none other is there any thing said. Who, then, is the secret lover, of whom the relatives (at least most of them) know nothing, but whom Marie meets upon the morning of Sunday, and who is so deeply in her confidence, that she hesitates not to remain with him until the shades of the evening descend, amid the solitary groves of the Barrière du Roule? Who is that secret lover, I ask, of whom, at least, most of the relatives know nothing? And what means the singular prophecy of Madame Rogêt on the morning of Marie’s departure?—‘I fear that I shall never see Marie again.’

“You might argue that in this case, there wasn't an elopement as one might think. Certainly not—but are we ready to say there wasn't a thwarted plan? Beyond St. Eustache, and maybe Beauvais, there are no known, no public, no respectable suitors for Marie. Nothing is said of anyone else. So, who is the secret lover that most of the relatives know nothing about, whom Marie meets on Sunday morning, and with whom she feels so comfortable that she doesn't hesitate to stay with him until evening falls in the quiet groves of the Barrière du Roule? Who is this secret lover, I ask again, of whom most relatives are unaware? And what does Madame Rogêt mean with her strange prophecy on the morning of Marie's departure?—‘I fear I may never see Marie again.’”

“But if we cannot imagine Madame Rogêt privy to the design of elopement, may we not at least suppose this design entertained by the girl? Upon quitting home, she gave it to be understood that she was about to visit her aunt in the Rue des Drômes and St. Eustache was requested to call for her at dark. Now, at first glance, this fact strongly militates against my suggestion;—but let us reflect. That she did meet some companion, and proceed with him across the river, reaching the Barrière du Roule at so late an hour as three o’clock in the afternoon, is known. But in consenting so to accompany this individual, (for whatever purpose—to her mother known or unknown,) she must have thought of her expressed intention when leaving home, and of the surprise and suspicion aroused in the bosom of her affianced suitor, St. Eustache, when, calling for her, at the hour appointed, in the Rue des Drômes, he should find that she had not been there, and when, moreover, upon returning to the pension with this alarming intelligence, he should become aware of her continued absence from home. She must have thought of these things, I say. She must have foreseen the chagrin of St. Eustache, the suspicion of all. She could not have thought of returning to brave this suspicion; but the suspicion becomes a point of trivial importance to her, if we suppose her not intending to return.

"But if we can’t picture Madame Rogêt being aware of the plan to run away, can we at least consider that the girl might be thinking about it? When she left home, she made it clear that she was going to visit her aunt on Rue des Drômes, and St. Eustache was asked to pick her up at dark. At first glance, this seems to go against my idea;—but let’s think it over. It’s known that she did meet someone and went with him across the river, reaching the Barrière du Roule at three o’clock in the afternoon. But by agreeing to go with this person, (for whatever reason—whether her mother knew or not,) she must have remembered her stated intention when she left home, and the surprise and suspicion it would cause her fiancé, St. Eustache, when he went to get her at the scheduled time on Rue des Drômes and found she wasn’t there. When he returned to the pension with this alarming news, he would realize she was still missing from home. She must have thought about all of this, I say. She must have anticipated St. Eustache's disappointment and everyone else's suspicion. She couldn’t have thought about going back to face this suspicion; but if we assume she didn’t plan to return, then that suspicion becomes pretty insignificant to her."

“We may imagine her thinking thus—‘I am to meet a certain person for the purpose of elopement, or for certain other purposes known only to myself. It is necessary that there be no chance of interruption—there must be sufficient time given us to elude pursuit—I will give it to be understood that I shall visit and spend the day with my aunt at the Rue des Drômes—I well tell St. Eustache not to call for me until dark—in this way, my absence from home for the longest possible period, without causing suspicion or anxiety, will be accounted for, and I shall gain more time than in any other manner. If I bid St. Eustache call for me at dark, he will be sure not to call before; but, if I wholly neglect to bid him call, my time for escape will be diminished, since it will be expected that I return the earlier, and my absence will the sooner excite anxiety. Now, if it were my design to return at all—if I had in contemplation merely a stroll with the individual in question—it would not be my policy to bid St. Eustache call; for, calling, he will be sure to ascertain that I have played him false—a fact of which I might keep him for ever in ignorance, by leaving home without notifying him of my intention, by returning before dark, and by then stating that I had been to visit my aunt in the Rue des Drômes. But, as it is my design never to return—or not for some weeks—or not until certain concealments are effected—the gaining of time is the only point about which I need give myself any concern.’

"We can imagine her thinking like this—‘I’m meeting someone for an elopement, or for some other reasons that only I know. It’s essential that there’s no chance of being interrupted—there needs to be enough time for us to escape unnoticed—I’ll make it seem like I’m just visiting my aunt at Rue des Drômes—I’ll tell St. Eustache not to pick me up until it’s dark—this way, my absence from home can last as long as possible without raising suspicion or worry, and I’ll have more time than any other plan. If I tell St. Eustache to pick me up at dark, he definitely won’t come before; but if I completely forget to ask him to, my time to escape will be cut short since it’ll be expected that I return earlier, which will trigger anxiety sooner. Now, if I were planning to return at all—if I only wanted to take a walk with that person—I wouldn’t ask St. Eustache to pick me up; because if he does, he’ll surely find out that I deceived him—a fact I could keep from him forever by leaving home without telling him, coming back before dark, and then claiming I visited my aunt at Rue des Drômes. But since my plan is to never return—or not for several weeks—or not until certain things are hidden—the only thing I need to worry about is gaining time.’"

“You have observed, in your notes, that the most general opinion in relation to this sad affair is, and was from the first, that the girl had been the victim of a gang of blackguards. Now, the popular opinion, under certain conditions, is not to be disregarded. When arising of itself—when manifesting itself in a strictly spontaneous manner—we should look upon it as analogous with that intuition which is the idiosyncrasy of the individual man of genius. In ninety-nine cases from the hundred I would abide by its decision. But it is important that we find no palpable traces of suggestion. The opinion must be rigorously the public’s own; and the distinction is often exceedingly difficult to perceive and to maintain. In the present instance, it appears to me that this ‘public opinion’ in respect to a gang, has been superinduced by the collateral event which is detailed in the third of my extracts. All Paris is excited by the discovered corpse of Marie, a girl young, beautiful and notorious. This corpse is found, bearing marks of violence, and floating in the river. But it is now made known that, at the very period, or about the very period, in which it is supposed that the girl was assassinated, an outrage similar in nature to that endured by the deceased, although less in extent, was perpetuated, by a gang of young ruffians, upon the person of a second young female. Is it wonderful that the one known atrocity should influence the popular judgment in regard to the other unknown? This judgment awaited direction, and the known outrage seemed so opportunely to afford it! Marie, too, was found in the river; and upon this very river was this known outrage committed. The connexion of the two events had about it so much of the palpable, that the true wonder would have been a failure of the populace to appreciate and to seize it. But, in fact, the one atrocity, known to be so committed, is, if any thing, evidence that the other, committed at a time nearly coincident, was not so committed. It would have been a miracle indeed, if, while a gang of ruffians were perpetrating, at a given locality, a most unheard-of wrong, there should have been another similar gang, in a similar locality, in the same city, under the same circumstances, with the same means and appliances, engaged in a wrong of precisely the same aspect, at precisely the same period of time! Yet in what, if not in this marvellous train of coincidence, does the accidentally suggested opinion of the populace call upon us to believe?

“You’ve noted that the general consensus surrounding this unfortunate situation has always been that the girl fell victim to a group of thugs. Now, public opinion, under certain circumstances, shouldn’t be ignored. When it arises spontaneously—when it emerges on its own—we should consider it similar to that intuition that is typical of gifted individuals. In ninety-nine out of a hundred cases, I would trust its judgment. However, it’s crucial that we don’t find obvious signs of suggestion. The opinion must be genuinely the public’s own; and this distinction can often be very hard to recognize and uphold. In this case, it seems to me that the public’s view regarding a gang has been influenced by another incident I mentioned in my third extract. All of Paris is stirred up by the discovery of Marie’s body, a young, beautiful, and infamous girl. This body was found showing signs of violence, floating in the river. But now it’s revealed that around the same time she’s believed to have been murdered, a similar assault, though less severe, was carried out by a group of young thugs on another young woman. Is it surprising that the known crime should sway public opinion regarding the unknown one? This judgment was looking for guidance, and the known crime seemed conveniently to provide it! Marie was also found in the river; and this known crime occurred on the same river. The connection between these two events was so obvious that the real surprise would have been if the public hadn’t recognized and acted on it. However, the one known crime is, if anything, evidence that the other, which happened almost at the same time, was not committed by the same group. It would indeed be miraculous if, while a gang of thugs was committing a shocking crime in one place, there was another similar gang in a nearby location, in the same city, under the same conditions, using the same methods, perpetrating a crime exactly like it at precisely the same time! But what, if not this incredible series of coincidences, does the opinion of the public, suggested by this situation, expect us to believe?”

“Before proceeding farther, let us consider the supposed scene of the assassination, in the thicket at the Barrière du Roule. This thicket, although dense, was in the close vicinity of a public road. Within were three or four large stones, forming a kind of seat with a back and footstool. On the upper stone was discovered a white petticoat; on the second, a silk scarf. A parasol, gloves, and a pocket-handkerchief, were also here found. The handkerchief bore the name, ‘Marie Rogêt.’ Fragments of dress were seen on the branches around. The earth was trampled, the bushes were broken, and there was every evidence of a violent struggle.

“Before moving on, let's take a look at the alleged scene of the assassination in the thicket at the Barrière du Roule. This thicket, while thick, was very close to a public road. Inside, there were three or four large stones that created a sort of seat with a backrest and footstool. A white petticoat was found on the top stone; on the second stone, a silk scarf. A parasol, gloves, and a pocket handkerchief were also discovered here. The handkerchief had the name ‘Marie Rogêt’ on it. Fragments of clothing were visible on the branches nearby. The ground was trampled, the bushes were broken, and there were clear signs of a violent struggle.”

“Notwithstanding the acclamation with which the discovery of this thicket was received by the press, and the unanimity with which it was supposed to indicate the precise scene of the outrage, it must be admitted that there was some very good reason for doubt. That it was the scene, I may or I may not believe—but there was excellent reason for doubt. Had the true scene been, as Le Commerciel suggested, in the neighborhood of the Rue Pavée St. Andrée, the perpetrators of the crime, supposing them still resident in Paris, would naturally have been stricken with terror at the public attention thus acutely directed into the proper channel; and, in certain classes of minds, there would have arisen, at once, a sense of the necessity of some exertion to redivert this attention. And thus, the thicket of the Barrière du Roule having been already suspected, the idea of placing the articles where they were found, might have been naturally entertained. There is no real evidence, although Le Soleil so supposes, that the articles discovered had been more than a very few days in the thicket; while there is much circumstantial proof that they could not have remained there, without attracting attention, during the twenty days elapsing between the fatal Sunday and the afternoon upon which they were found by the boys. ‘They were all mildewed down hard,’ says Le Soleil, adopting the opinions of its predecessors, ‘with the action of the rain, and stuck together from mildew. The grass had grown around and over some of them. The silk of the parasol was strong, but the threads of it were run together within. The upper part, where it had been doubled and folded, was all mildewed and rotten, and tore on being opened.’ In respect to the grass having ‘grown around and over some of them,’ it is obvious that the fact could only have been ascertained from the words, and thus from the recollections, of two small boys; for these boys removed the articles and took them home before they had been seen by a third party. But grass will grow, especially in warm and damp weather, (such as was that of the period of the murder,) as much as two or three inches in a single day. A parasol lying upon a newly turfed ground, might, in a single week, be entirely concealed from sight by the upspringing grass. And touching that mildew upon which the editor of Le Soleil so pertinaciously insists, that he employs the word no less than three times in the brief paragraph just quoted, is he really unaware of the nature of this mildew? Is he to be told that it is one of the many classes of fungus, of which the most ordinary feature is its upspringing and decadence within twenty-four hours?

“Despite the praise the press gave to the discovery of this thicket and the general agreement that it pointed to the exact location of the crime, there were some very compelling reasons to doubt that claim. Whether I believe it was the scene or not is irrelevant—there was great reason to question it. If the actual scene had been, as Le Commerciel suggested, near Rue Pavée St. Andrée, the criminals, assuming they were still in Paris, would have likely been terrified by the intense public focus on that area. This would have triggered, in certain minds, an immediate realization that they needed to redirect that attention elsewhere. So, with the thicket at the Barrière du Roule already under suspicion, the idea of placing the items there could have been easily considered. There is no real evidence, despite Le Soleil's claims, that the items had been in the thicket for more than just a few days; in fact, circumstantial evidence suggests they couldn’t have stayed there for the twenty days between that tragic Sunday and the day the boys found them. ‘They were all mildewed hard,’ says Le Soleil, taking up the views of its predecessors, ‘from the rain and stuck together with mildew. The grass had grown around and over some of them. The silk of the parasol was strong, but its threads were intertwined on the inside. The top part, where it had been folded, was entirely mildewed and rotten, and ripped when opened.’ Regarding the grass having ‘grown around and over some of them,’ it’s clear that this could only have been observed from the words and memories of two young boys; they took the items home before a third party saw them. However, grass grows quickly, especially in warm and humid conditions, like those around the time of the murder; it can grow two or three inches in a single day. A parasol left on freshly turned soil could be completely hidden by overgrown grass in just a week. As for the mildew that the editor of Le Soleil insists on mentioning—he used the term three times in the brief paragraph just quoted—does he not understand what this mildew actually is? Shouldn’t someone explain to him that it’s a type of fungus that typically appears and decays within twenty-four hours?”

“Thus we see, at a glance, that what has been most triumphantly adduced in support of the idea that the articles had been ‘for at least three or four weeks’ in the thicket, is most absurdly null as regards any evidence of that fact. On the other hand, it is exceedingly difficult to believe that these articles could have remained in the thicket specified, for a longer period than a single week—for a longer period than from one Sunday to the next. Those who know any thing of the vicinity of Paris, know the extreme difficulty of finding seclusion unless at a great distance from its suburbs. Such a thing as an unexplored, or even an unfrequently visited recess, amid its woods or groves, is not for a moment to be imagined. Let any one who, being at heart a lover of nature, is yet chained by duty to the dust and heat of this great metropolis—let any such one attempt, even during the weekdays, to slake his thirst for solitude amid the scenes of natural loveliness which immediately surround us. At every second step, he will find the growing charm dispelled by the voice and personal intrusion of some ruffian or party of carousing blackguards. He will seek privacy amid the densest foliage, all in vain. Here are the very nooks where the unwashed most abound—here are the temples most desecrate. With sickness of the heart the wanderer will flee back to the polluted Paris as to a less odious because less incongruous sink of pollution. But if the vicinity of the city is so beset during the working days of the week, how much more so on the Sabbath! It is now especially that, released from the claims of labor, or deprived of the customary opportunities of crime, the town blackguard seeks the precincts of the town, not through love of the rural, which in his heart he despises, but by way of escape from the restraints and conventionalities of society. He desires less the fresh air and the green trees, than the utter license of the country. Here, at the road-side inn, or beneath the foliage of the woods, he indulges, unchecked by any eye except those of his boon companions, in all the mad excess of a counterfeit hilarity—the joint offspring of liberty and of rum. I say nothing more than what must be obvious to every dispassionate observer, when I repeat that the circumstance of the articles in question having remained undiscovered, for a longer period than from one Sunday to another, in any thicket in the immediate neighborhood of Paris, is to be looked upon as little less than miraculous.

“Thus, we can see right away that the main argument supporting the idea that the items had been ‘in the thicket for at least three or four weeks’ is actually completely absurd in terms of any evidence for that claim. On the flip side, it's hard to believe that these items could have stayed in the specified thicket for more than just a week—no longer than from one Sunday to the next. Anyone familiar with the area around Paris knows how hard it is to find solitude unless you’re far from its suburbs. The idea of an unexplored or even rarely visited spot among its woods or groves is simply unimaginable. Let anyone who genuinely loves nature but is tied by duty to the dust and heat of this vast city attempt, even on weekdays, to quench their thirst for solitude in the beautiful natural scenes surrounding us. With every other step, the growing charm will be shattered by the noise and personal intrusion of some ruffian or a group of rowdy drunks. They will search for privacy amid the thickest foliage, all in vain. These are the very spots where the unwashed masses gather—where the places are most disrespected. With a heavy heart, the wanderer will retreat back to the polluted Paris, finding it less offensive because it’s a less bizarre dump of pollution. But if the outskirts of the city are so overrun during the weekdays, how much worse is it on Sundays! It’s especially now that, free from work obligations, or denied the usual chances for crime, the city dweller seeks out the town outskirts, not from a love of the countryside, which deep down he despises, but to escape the constraints and norms of society. He is more interested in the total freedom of the country than in the fresh air and green trees. There, at the roadside inn or under the tree cover, he indulges, unchecked by anyone except his drinking buddies, in all the wild excess of a fake happiness—the joint outcome of freedom and alcohol. I say nothing more than what must be clear to any unbiased observer when I say that the fact that the items in question remained undiscovered for more than just one Sunday to another in any thicket close to Paris is nothing short of miraculous.”

“But there are not wanting other grounds for the suspicion that the articles were placed in the thicket with the view of diverting attention from the real scene of the outrage. And, first, let me direct your notice to the date of the discovery of the articles. Collate this with the date of the fifth extract made by myself from the newspapers. You will find that the discovery followed, almost immediately, the urgent communications sent to the evening paper. These communications, although various and apparently from various sources, tended all to the same point—viz., the directing of attention to a gang as the perpetrators of the outrage, and to the neighborhood of the Barrière du Roule as its scene. Now here, of course, the suspicion is not that, in consequence of these communications, or of the public attention by them directed, the articles were found by the boys; but the suspicion might and may well have been, that the articles were not before found by the boys, for the reason that the articles had not before been in the thicket; having been deposited there only at so late a period as at the date, or shortly prior to the date of the communication, by the guilty authors of these communications themselves.

“But there are other reasons to suspect that the items were placed in the thicket to distract from the actual scene of the crime. First, let’s look at the date these items were discovered. Compare that with the date of the fifth excerpt I took from the newspapers. You’ll see that the discovery happened almost right after urgent messages were sent to the evening paper. These messages, although varied and seemingly from different sources, all pointed to one thing—specifically, directing attention to a gang as the culprits and the area around the Barrière du Roule as the location of the event. Now, the suspicion isn’t that the boys found the items because of these messages or the public attention they drew; rather, the suspicion could be that the items hadn't been found by the boys before because they weren’t there in the thicket until recently, having been placed there only shortly before, or on the date of, the communications by the very people responsible for them.”

“This thicket was a singular—an exceedingly singular one. It was unusually dense. Within its naturally walled enclosure were three extraordinary stones, forming a seat with a back and footstool. And this thicket, so full of a natural art, was in the immediate vicinity, within a few rods, of the dwelling of Madame Deluc, whose boys were in the habit of closely examining the shrubberies about them in search of the bark of the sassafras. Would it be a rash wager—a wager of one thousand to one—that a day never passed over the heads of these boys without finding at least one of them ensconced in the umbrageous hall, and enthroned upon its natural throne? Those who would hesitate at such a wager, have either never been boys themselves, or have forgotten the boyish nature. I repeat—it is exceedingly hard to comprehend how the articles could have remained in this thicket undiscovered, for a longer period than one or two days; and that thus there is good ground for suspicion, in spite of the dogmatic ignorance of Le Soleil, that they were, at a comparatively late date, deposited where found.

This thicket was unique—really unique. It was unusually dense. Inside its natural walls were three remarkable stones that formed a seat with a back and a footstool. And this thicket, filled with natural beauty, was very close, just a few yards away, from Madame Deluc's home, where her boys often searched the bushes for sassafras bark. Would it be a crazy bet—a bet of a thousand to one—that every day at least one of these boys ended up tucked away in the shady spot, sitting on its natural throne? Anyone who would hesitate to take that bet either has never been a boy themselves or has forgotten what it's like to be one. I say again—it’s hard to believe that these items could have gone unnoticed in this thicket for more than a day or two; so there’s good reason to suspect, despite Le Soleil's stubborn ignorance, that they were placed there relatively recently.

“But there are still other and stronger reasons for believing them so deposited, than any which I have as yet urged. And, now, let me beg your notice to the highly artificial arrangement of the articles. On the upper stone lay a white petticoat; on the second, a silk scarf; scattered around, were a parasol, gloves, and a pocket-handkerchief bearing the name, ‘Marie Rogêt.’ Here is just such an arrangement as would naturally be made by a not over-acute person wishing to dispose the articles naturally. But it is by no means a really natural arrangement. I should rather have looked to see the things all lying on the ground and trampled under foot. In the narrow limits of that bower, it would have been scarcely possible that the petticoat and scarf should have retained a position upon the stones, when subjected to the brushing to and fro of many struggling persons. ‘There was evidence,’ it is said, ‘of a struggle; and the earth was trampled, the bushes were broken,’—but the petticoat and the scarf are found deposited as if upon shelves. ‘The pieces of the frock torn out by the bushes were about three inches wide and six inches long. One part was the hem of the frock and it had been mended. They looked like strips torn off.’ Here, inadvertently, Le Soleil has employed an exceedingly suspicious phrase. The pieces, as described, do indeed ‘look like strips torn off;’ but purposely and by hand. It is one of the rarest of accidents that a piece is ‘torn off,’ from any garment such as is now in question, by the agency of a thorn. From the very nature of such fabrics, a thorn or nail becoming entangled in them, tears them rectangularly—divides them into two longitudinal rents, at right angles with each other, and meeting at an apex where the thorn enters—but it is scarcely possible to conceive the piece ‘torn off.’ I never so knew it, nor did you. To tear a piece off from such fabric, two distinct forces, in different directions, will be, in almost every case, required. If there be two edges to the fabric—if, for example, it be a pocket-handkerchief, and it is desired to tear from it a slip, then, and then only, will the one force serve the purpose. But in the present case the question is of a dress, presenting but one edge. To tear a piece from the interior, where no edge is presented, could only be effected by a miracle through the agency of thorns, and no one thorn could accomplish it. But, even where an edge is presented, two thorns will be necessary, operating, the one in two distinct directions, and the other in one. And this in the supposition that the edge is unhemmed. If hemmed, the matter is nearly out of the question. We thus see the numerous and great obstacles in the way of pieces being ‘torn off’ through the simple agency of ‘thorns;’ yet we are required to believe not only that one piece but that many have been so torn. ‘And one part,’ too, ‘was the hem of the frock!’ Another piece was ‘part of the skirt, not the hem,’—that is to say, was torn completely out through the agency of thorns, from the uncaged interior of the dress! These, I say, are things which one may well be pardoned for disbelieving; yet, taken collectedly, they form, perhaps, less of reasonable ground for suspicion, than the one startling circumstance of the articles’ having been left in this thicket at all, by any murderers who had enough precaution to think of removing the corpse. You will not have apprehended me rightly, however, if you suppose it my design to deny this thicket as the scene of the outrage. There might have been a wrong here, or, more possibly, an accident at Madame Deluc’s. But, in fact, this is a point of minor importance. We are not engaged in an attempt to discover the scene, but to produce the perpetrators of the murder. What I have adduced, notwithstanding the minuteness with which I have adduced it, has been with the view, first, to show the folly of the positive and headlong assertions of Le Soleil, but secondly and chiefly, to bring you, by the most natural route, to a further contemplation of the doubt whether this assassination has, or has not, been the work of a gang.

“But there are still stronger reasons for believing those items were placed there than any I have mentioned so far. Now, please pay attention to the highly organized arrangement of the items. On the upper stone lay a white petticoat; on the second, a silk scarf; scattered around were a parasol, gloves, and a handkerchief with the name ‘Marie Rogêt’ on it. This setup seems like it was made by someone not very sharp, trying to arrange the items naturally. However, it’s not a truly natural arrangement. I would expect to see everything lying on the ground, trampled underfoot. In that cramped space, it’s unlikely that the petticoat and scarf would have stayed on the stones while many struggling people brushed against them. ‘There was evidence,’ it’s said, ‘of a struggle; the earth was trampled and the bushes were broken,’—but the petticoat and scarf are found placed as if on shelves. ‘The pieces of the dress torn out by the bushes were about three inches wide and six inches long. One part was the hem of the dress, and it had been mended. They looked like strips torn off.’ Here, by accident, Le Soleil used a very suspicious phrase. The pieces do indeed ‘look like strips torn off;’ but deliberately and by hand. It’s extremely rare for a piece to be ‘torn off’ from any garment like the one in question due to a thorn. Given the nature of such fabrics, a thorn or nail getting caught in them usually tears them in a rectangular shape—splitting them into two long rips at right angles to each other, meeting where the thorn enters—but it’s hardly possible to imagine a piece being ‘torn off.’ I’ve never seen it happen like that, nor have you. To tear a piece from such fabric, two distinct forces in different directions are almost always required. If there are two edges to the fabric—like if it’s a handkerchief and you want to tear off a slip—then, and only then, would one force suffice. But in this case, we’re talking about a dress with only one edge. Tearing a piece from the inside, where there’s no edge, could only happen by miracle through thorns, and no single thorn could achieve it. Even with an edge, two thorns would be needed, operating in one direction each. And even then, that’s assuming the edge is not hemmed. If it is hemmed, it’s nearly impossible. We see many significant obstacles to pieces being ‘torn off’ simply by the agency of ‘thorns;’ yet we’re expected to believe that not just one piece but many have been torn this way. ‘And one part,’ too, ‘was the hem of the dress!’ Another piece was ‘part of the skirt, not the hem,’—meaning it was completely pulled out from the unprotected interior of the dress by thorns! These are things one may be excused for disbelieving; yet, when taken together, they offer perhaps less reasonable grounds for suspicion than the shocking fact that the items were left in this thicket at all by any murderers who were careful enough to think to remove the corpse. You wouldn’t have understood me correctly if you think I’m trying to deny that this thicket is the scene of the crime. There might have been wrongdoing here, or more likely an accident at Madame Deluc’s. But really, this is a minor point. We’re not trying to find the scene; we’re trying to identify the murderers. What I’ve laid out, despite the attention to detail, is intended first to highlight the reckless and hasty claims of Le Soleil, and secondly, and mainly, to lead you to further contemplate the uncertainty of whether this murder is the work of a group or not.”

“We will resume this question by mere allusion to the revolting details of the surgeon examined at the inquest. It is only necessary to say that his published inferences, in regard to the number of ruffians, have been properly ridiculed as unjust and totally baseless, by all the reputable anatomists of Paris. Not that the matter might not have been as inferred, but that there was no ground for the inference:—was there not much for another?

“We will revisit this question by briefly mentioning the shocking details of the surgeon who was examined at the inquest. It’s only important to note that his published conclusions about the number of criminals involved have been justly mocked as unfair and completely unfounded by all the respected anatomists in Paris. It’s not that the situation couldn’t have been as he suggested, but rather that there was no basis for his claims:—was there not plenty of reason for a different conclusion?”

“Let us reflect now upon ‘the traces of a struggle;’ and let me ask what these traces have been supposed to demonstrate. A gang. But do they not rather demonstrate the absence of a gang? What struggle could have taken place—what struggle so violent and so enduring as to have left its ‘traces’ in all directions—between a weak and defenceless girl and the gang of ruffians imagined? The silent grasp of a few rough arms and all would have been over. The victim must have been absolutely passive at their will. You will here bear in mind that the arguments urged against the thicket as the scene, are applicable in chief part, only against it as the scene of an outrage committed by more than a single individual. If we imagine but one violator, we can conceive, and thus only conceive, the struggle of so violent and so obstinate a nature as to have left the ‘traces’ apparent.

“Let’s think about ‘the traces of a struggle’ and let me ask what these traces are supposed to prove. A gang. But don’t they actually show the opposite, the absence of a gang? What kind of struggle could have happened—what struggle so intense and lasting that it left its ‘traces’ everywhere—between a weak and defenseless girl and the imagined gang of thugs? A few rough hands would have made it all over in an instant. The victim would have had to be completely at their mercy. Keep in mind that the arguments against the thicket as the location primarily apply only if we assume more than one person was involved in the crime. If we think of just one attacker, we can only imagine a struggle so fierce and stubborn that it could leave ‘traces’ behind.”

“And again. I have already mentioned the suspicion to be excited by the fact that the articles in question were suffered to remain at all in the thicket where discovered. It seems almost impossible that these evidences of guilt should have been accidentally left where found. There was sufficient presence of mind (it is supposed) to remove the corpse; and yet a more positive evidence than the corpse itself (whose features might have been quickly obliterated by decay,) is allowed to lie conspicuously in the scene of the outrage—I allude to the handkerchief with the name of the deceased. If this was accident, it was not the accident of a gang. We can imagine it only the accident of an individual. Let us see. An individual has committed the murder. He is alone with the ghost of the departed. He is appalled by what lies motionless before him. The fury of his passion is over, and there is abundant room in his heart for the natural awe of the deed. His is none of that confidence which the presence of numbers inevitably inspires. He is alone with the dead. He trembles and is bewildered. Yet there is a necessity for disposing of the corpse. He bears it to the river, but leaves behind him the other evidences of guilt; for it is difficult, if not impossible to carry all the burthen at once, and it will be easy to return for what is left. But in his toilsome journey to the water his fears redouble within him. The sounds of life encompass his path. A dozen times he hears or fancies the step of an observer. Even the very lights from the city bewilder him. Yet, in time and by long and frequent pauses of deep agony, he reaches the river’s brink, and disposes of his ghastly charge—perhaps through the medium of a boat. But now what treasure does the world hold—what threat of vengeance could it hold out—which would have power to urge the return of that lonely murderer over that toilsome and perilous path, to the thicket and its blood chilling recollections? He returns not, let the consequences be what they may. He could not return if he would. His sole thought is immediate escape. He turns his back forever upon those dreadful shrubberies and flees as from the wrath to come.

“And again. I’ve already mentioned the suspicion raised by the fact that the items in question were allowed to remain in the thicket where they were found. It seems almost impossible that these signs of guilt would accidentally be left there. It’s believed there was enough presence of mind to remove the body, yet a more definitive piece of evidence than the body itself (whose features could have quickly decayed) is left clearly visible at the scene of the crime—I’m referring to the handkerchief with the deceased's name on it. If this was an accident, it was not the kind of accident a group would make. We can only imagine it was the mistake of an individual. Let’s consider it. An individual has committed the murder. He is alone with the ghost of the dead person. He is horrified by what lies unmoving before him. The rage that drove him is gone, and there is plenty of space in his heart for the natural dread of his actions. He doesn’t have the kind of confidence that comes from being in a crowd. He is by himself with the corpse. He shakes and is confused. Yet, he has to deal with the body. He carries it to the river but leaves behind other signs of his guilt; it’s hard, if not impossible, to carry everything at once, and he can easily come back for what’s left. But as he struggles toward the water, his fears multiply. He hears the sounds of life around him. A dozen times, he hears or thinks he hears someone walking nearby. Even the lights from the city disorient him. Still, after a long and painful journey full of pauses from deep torment, he reaches the edge of the river and gets rid of his terrible burden—perhaps using a boat. But now, what treasure does the world hold—what threat of revenge could possibly motivate him to return along that exhausting and dangerous route, back to the thicket and its chilling memories? He doesn’t go back, no matter what the consequences may be. He couldn’t return if he wanted to. His only thought is immediate escape. He turns his back forever on that horrifying underbrush and runs as if fleeing from wrath.

“But how with a gang? Their number would have inspired them with confidence; if, indeed confidence is ever wanting in the breast of the arrant blackguard; and of arrant blackguards alone are the supposed gangs ever constituted. Their number, I say, would have prevented the bewildering and unreasoning terror which I have imagined to paralyze the single man. Could we suppose an oversight in one, or two, or three, this oversight would have been remedied by a fourth. They would have left nothing behind them; for their number would have enabled them to carry all at once. There would have been no need of return.

"But what about a gang? Their numbers would have given them confidence; if, indeed, confidence is ever lacking in the heart of a complete scoundrel; and it's only complete scoundrels that are part of these supposed gangs. Their numbers, I mean, would have stopped the confusing and irrational fear that I imagined would freeze a lone person in place. If one, two, or three missed something, the fourth would have caught it. They would have left nothing behind; their numbers would have allowed them to take everything at once. There would have been no need to come back."

“Consider now the circumstance that in the outer garment of the corpse when found, ‘a slip, about a foot wide had been torn upward from the bottom hem to the waist wound three times round the waist, and secured by a sort of hitch in the back.’ This was done with the obvious design of affording a handle by which to carry the body. But would any number of men have dreamed of resorting to such an expedient? To three or four, the limbs of the corpse would have afforded not only a sufficient, but the best possible hold. The device is that of a single individual; and this brings us to the fact that ‘between the thicket and the river, the rails of the fences were found taken down, and the ground bore evident traces of some heavy burden having been dragged along it!’ But would a number of men have put themselves to the superfluous trouble of taking down a fence, for the purpose of dragging through it a corpse which they might have lifted over any fence in an instant? Would a number of men have so dragged a corpse at all as to have left evident traces of the dragging?

“Consider now the situation that, in the outer layer of the body when discovered, ‘a strip about a foot wide had been torn upward from the bottom hem to the waist, wound three times around the waist, and secured by a sort of knot in the back.’ This was clearly designed to provide a way to carry the body. But would anyone have thought to resort to such a method? For three or four people, the limbs of the corpse would have offered not only a sufficient grip but the best possible way to hold it. This method suggests that only one person was involved; and this leads us to the observation that ‘between the thicket and the river, the fence rails were found taken down, and the ground showed clear signs of some heavy weight having been dragged along it!’ But would a group of men have gone to the unnecessary trouble of taking down a fence to drag a corpse through when they could have lifted it over any fence quickly? Would a group of men have dragged a body in a way that left clear signs of the dragging?”

“And here we must refer to an observation of Le Commerciel; an observation upon which I have already, in some measure, commented. ‘A piece,’ says this journal, ‘of one of the unfortunate girl’s petticoats was torn out and tied under her chin, and around the back of her head, probably to prevent screams. This was done by fellows who had no pocket-handkerchiefs.’

“And here we must mention an observation made by Le Commerciel; an observation I have already commented on to some extent. ‘A piece,’ this journal states, ‘of one of the unfortunate girl’s petticoats was torn off and tied under her chin and around the back of her head, likely to muffle her screams. This was done by guys who didn’t have any handkerchiefs.’”

“I have before suggested that a genuine blackguard is never without a pocket-handkerchief. But it is not to this fact that I now especially advert. That it was not through want of a handkerchief for the purpose imagined by Le Commerciel, that this bandage was employed, is rendered apparent by the handkerchief left in the thicket; and that the object was not ‘to prevent screams’ appears, also, from the bandage having been employed in preference to what would so much better have answered the purpose. But the language of the evidence speaks of the strip in question as ‘found around the neck, fitting loosely, and secured with a hard knot.’ These words are sufficiently vague, but differ materially from those of Le Commerciel. The slip was eighteen inches wide, and therefore, although of muslin, would form a strong band when folded or rumpled longitudinally. And thus rumpled it was discovered. My inference is this. The solitary murderer, having borne the corpse, for some distance (whether from the thicket or elsewhere) by means of the bandage hitched around its middle, found the weight, in this mode of procedure, too much for his strength. He resolved to drag the burthen—the evidence goes to show that it was dragged. With this object in view, it became necessary to attach something like a rope to one of the extremities. It could be best attached about the neck, where the head would prevent its slipping off. And, now, the murderer bethought him, unquestionably, of the bandage about the loins. He would have used this, but for its volution about the corpse, the hitch which embarrassed it, and the reflection that it had not been ‘torn off’ from the garment. It was easier to tear a new slip from the petticoat. He tore it, made it fast about the neck, and so dragged his victim to the brink of the river. That this ‘bandage,’ only attainable with trouble and delay, and but imperfectly answering its purpose—that this bandage was employed at all, demonstrates that the necessity for its employment sprang from circumstances arising at a period when the handkerchief was no longer attainable—that is to say, arising, as we have imagined, after quitting the thicket, (if the thicket it was), and on the road between the thicket and the river.

“I have previously suggested that a true scoundrel never goes without a pocket handkerchief. However, that’s not the point I want to emphasize now. It's clear that the handkerchief left in the bushes shows this bandage wasn’t used for the reason Le Commerciel imagined. Also, the fact that it wasn’t used to ‘prevent screams’ becomes evident since the bandage was chosen over something that would have worked much better. The evidence describes the strip as ‘found around the neck, fitting loosely, and secured with a hard knot.’ These words are quite vague, but they differ significantly from what Le Commerciel stated. The strip was eighteen inches wide, and so, although it was made of muslin, it could create a strong band when folded or rumpled. And in a rumpled state, it was found. My conclusion is this: the lone murderer, having carried the body some distance (whether from the thicket or another place) using the bandage wrapped around its middle, found the weight too heavy for him. He decided to drag the body—the evidence indicates that it was dragged. With this in mind, he needed to attach something like a rope to one end. The best place to attach it would be around the neck, where the head would keep it from slipping off. Now, the murderer likely thought of the bandage around the waist. He would have used that but for its twisting around the body, the knot that complicated things, and the fact that it wasn’t ‘torn off’ from the garment. It was easier to rip a new strip from the petticoat. He tore it, secured it around the neck, and dragged his victim to the edge of the river. The use of this ‘bandage,’ which was difficult to obtain and didn’t perfectly serve its purpose, shows that the need for it arose from situations that developed at a time when the handkerchief was no longer accessible—that is, after leaving the thicket (if it was indeed the thicket), and on the path between the thicket and the river."

“But the evidence, you will say, of Madame Deluc (!) points especially to the presence of a gang, in the vicinity of the thicket, at or about the epoch of the murder. This I grant. I doubt if there were not a dozen gangs, such as described by Madame Deluc, in and about the vicinity of the Barrière du Roule at or about the period of this tragedy. But the gang which has drawn upon itself the pointed animadversion, although the somewhat tardy and very suspicious evidence of Madame Deluc, is the only gang which is represented by that honest and scrupulous old lady as having eaten her cakes and swallowed her brandy, without putting themselves to the trouble of making her payment. Et hinc illæ iræ?

“But the evidence, you might say, from Madame Deluc (!) particularly points to the presence of a gang near the thicket around the time of the murder. I agree with that. I suspect there were probably a dozen gangs like the one Madame Deluc described in and around the Barrière du Roule at the time of this tragedy. However, the gang that has drawn her pointed criticism, despite the somewhat delayed and very questionable evidence from Madame Deluc, is the only gang that she honestly and meticulously describes as having eaten her cakes and drunk her brandy without bothering to pay her. And hence the anger?”

“But what is the precise evidence of Madame Deluc? ‘A gang of miscreants made their appearance, behaved boisterously, ate and drank without making payment, followed in the route of the young man and girl, returned to the inn about dusk, and recrossed the river as if in great haste.’

“But what is the exact evidence from Madame Deluc? ‘A group of troublemakers showed up, acted loudly, ate and drank without paying, followed the young man and girl, returned to the inn around dusk, and hurried back across the river as if they were in a big rush.’”

“Now this ‘great haste’ very possibly seemed greater haste in the eyes of Madame Deluc, since she dwelt lingeringly and lamentingly upon her violated cakes and ale—cakes and ale for which she might still have entertained a faint hope of compensation. Why, otherwise, since it was about dusk, should she make a point of the haste? It is no cause for wonder, surely, that even a gang of blackguards should make haste to get home, when a wide river is to be crossed in small boats, when storm impends, and when night approaches.

“Now this ‘great haste’ probably seemed even more urgent to Madame Deluc, as she reflected sadly on her ruined cakes and ale—treats for which she might still have held out some hope of getting back. Why, otherwise, especially since it was getting dark, would she emphasize the need for haste? It’s no surprise, of course, that even a group of troublemakers would rush to get home when there’s a wide river to cross in small boats, a storm on the way, and night closing in.”

“I say approaches; for the night had not yet arrived. It was only about dusk that the indecent haste of these ‘miscreants’ offended the sober eyes of Madame Deluc. But we are told that it was upon this very evening that Madame Deluc, as well as her eldest son, ‘heard the screams of a female in the vicinity of the inn.’ And in what words does Madame Deluc designate the period of the evening at which these screams were heard? ‘It was soon after dark,’ she says. But ‘soon after dark,’ is, at least, dark; and ‘about dusk’ is as certainly daylight. Thus it is abundantly clear that the gang quitted the Barrière du Roule prior to the screams overheard (?) by Madame Deluc. And although, in all the many reports of the evidence, the relative expressions in question are distinctly and invariably employed just as I have employed them in this conversation with yourself, no notice whatever of the gross discrepancy has, as yet, been taken by any of the public journals, or by any of the myrmidons of police.

“I say approaches; for night had not yet fallen. It was only around dusk that the inappropriate urgency of these ‘miscreants’ disturbed the sober judgment of Madame Deluc. But we’re told that it was on this very evening that Madame Deluc, as well as her eldest son, ‘heard the screams of a female nearby the inn.’ And how does Madame Deluc describe the time of the evening when these screams were heard? ‘It was soon after dark,’ she says. But ‘soon after dark’ is, at the very least, dark; and ‘about dusk’ is definitely still daylight. Thus, it’s clear that the gang left the Barrière du Roule before the screams that Madame Deluc overheard. And although, in all the numerous reports of the evidence, the comparative terms in question are consistently and repeatedly used just as I have used them in this conversation with you, there has been no attention whatsoever given to the glaring inconsistency by any of the public newspapers or by any of the police officials.”

“I shall add but one to the arguments against a gang; but this one has, to my own understanding at least, a weight altogether irresistible. Under the circumstances of large reward offered, and full pardon to any king’s evidence, it is not to be imagined, for a moment, that some member of a gang of low ruffians, or of any body of men, would not long ago have betrayed his accomplices. Each one of a gang so placed, is not so much greedy of reward, or anxious for escape, as fearful of betrayal. He betrays eagerly and early that he may not himself be betrayed. That the secret has not been divulged, is the very best of proof that it is, in fact, a secret. The horrors of this dark deed are known only to one, or two, living human beings, and to God.

"I'll just add one more argument against a gang, and this one, at least in my opinion, is incredibly compelling. Considering the huge rewards offered and the complete pardon for anyone who comes forward as a witness, it’s hard to believe that at least one member of a gang of lowlifes, or any group of men, hasn’t already turned on his accomplices. Each person in such a situation is not so much motivated by greed or a desire to escape, but rather by the fear of being betrayed. They betray early and eagerly to protect themselves from being turned in. The fact that the secret hasn’t been revealed is the best evidence that it really is a secret. The horrors of this dark act are known only to one or two living people and to God."

“Let us sum up now the meagre yet certain fruits of our long analysis. We have attained the idea either of a fatal accident under the roof of Madame Deluc, or of a murder perpetrated, in the thicket at the Barrière du Roule, by a lover, or at least by an intimate and secret associate of the deceased. This associate is of swarthy complexion. This complexion, the ‘hitch’ in the bandage, and the ‘sailor’s knot,’ with which the bonnet-ribbon is tied, point to a seaman. His companionship with the deceased, a gay, but not an abject young girl, designates him as above the grade of the common sailor. Here the well written and urgent communications to the journals are much in the way of corroboration. The circumstance of the first elopement, as mentioned by Le Mercurie, tends to blend the idea of this seaman with that of the ‘naval officer’ who is first known to have led the unfortunate into crime.

“Let’s summarize the scarce yet undeniable results of our lengthy analysis. We have come to the conclusion that either there was a tragic accident at Madame Deluc's house, or a murder was committed in the thicket at the Barrière du Roule by a lover, or at least by someone close and secretive with the victim. This associate has a dark complexion. This complexion, the ‘hitch’ in the bandage, and the ‘sailor’s knot’ used to tie the bonnet-ribbon suggest a seaman. His relationship with the victim, a lively but not degraded young woman, indicates he is above the level of a common sailor. Here, the well-written and urgent articles in the newspapers provide considerable support. The fact of the first elopement, as noted by Le Mercurie, helps to connect the image of this seaman with that of the ‘naval officer’ who is initially known to have led the unfortunate girl into wrongdoing.”

“And here, most fitly, comes the consideration of the continued absence of him of the dark complexion. Let me pause to observe that the complexion of this man is dark and swarthy; it was no common swarthiness which constituted the sole point of remembrance, both as regards Valence and Madame Deluc. But why is this man absent? Was he murdered by the gang? If so, why are there only traces of the assassinated girl? The scene of the two outrages will naturally be supposed identical. And where is his corpse? The assassins would most probably have disposed of both in the same way. But it may be said that this man lives, and is deterred from making himself known, through dread of being charged with the murder. This consideration might be supposed to operate upon him now—at this late period—since it has been given in evidence that he was seen with Marie—but it would have had no force at the period of the deed. The first impulse of an innocent man would have been to announce the outrage, and to aid in identifying the ruffians. This policy would have suggested. He had been seen with the girl. He had crossed the river with her in an open ferry-boat. The denouncing of the assassins would have appeared, even to an idiot, the surest and sole means of relieving himself from suspicion. We cannot suppose him, on the night of the fatal Sunday, both innocent himself and incognizant of an outrage committed. Yet only under such circumstances is it possible to imagine that he would have failed, if alive, in the denouncement of the assassins.

“And here, most fittingly, comes the discussion of the ongoing absence of the dark-complexioned man. Let me take a moment to note that this man has dark and swarthy skin; it wasn’t just his swarthiness that was memorable, concerning both Valence and Madame Deluc. But why is this man missing? Was he killed by the gang? If so, why are there only signs of the murdered girl? It's natural to assume that the two attacks happened in the same place. And where is his body? The killers would likely have gotten rid of both in the same manner. However, one could argue that this man is alive and is staying hidden out of fear of being accused of the murder. This thought might be affecting him now—at this late stage—since there’s evidence he was seen with Marie; but it wouldn’t have had any impact at the time of the crime. An innocent person's first instinct would be to report the crime and help identify the criminals. That would have been the obvious course of action. He had been seen with the girl. He had crossed the river with her on an open ferry. Informing on the murderers would have seemed, even to someone dense, the easiest and only way to clear himself of suspicion. We can’t assume that on the night of that tragic Sunday, he was both innocent and unaware of the crime that happened. Yet only under such circumstances can we imagine that he would have failed, if he were alive, to condemn the killers.”

“And what means are ours, of attaining the truth? We shall find these means multiplying and gathering distinctness as we proceed. Let us sift to the bottom this affair of the first elopement. Let us know the full history of ‘the officer,’ with his present circumstances, and his whereabouts at the precise period of the murder. Let us carefully compare with each other the various communications sent to the evening paper, in which the object was to inculpate a gang. This done, let us compare these communications, both as regards style and MS., with those sent to the morning paper, at a previous period, and insisting so vehemently upon the guilt of Mennais. And, all this done, let us again compare these various communications with the known MSS. of the officer. Let us endeavor to ascertain, by repeated questionings of Madame Deluc and her boys, as well as of the omnibus driver, Valence, something more of the personal appearance and bearing of the ‘man of dark complexion.’ Queries, skilfully directed, will not fail to elicit, from some of these parties, information on this particular point (or upon others)—information which the parties themselves may not even be aware of possessing. And let us now trace the boat picked up by the bargeman on the morning of Monday the twenty-third of June, and which was removed from the barge-office, without the cognizance of the officer in attendance, and without the rudder, at some period prior to the discovery of the corpse. With a proper caution and perseverance we shall infallibly trace this boat; for not only can the bargeman who picked it up identify it, but the rudder is at hand. The rudder of a sail-boat would not have been abandoned, without inquiry, by one altogether at ease in heart. And here let me pause to insinuate a question. There was no advertisement of the picking up of this boat. It was silently taken to the barge-office, and as silently removed. But its owner or employer—how happened he, at so early a period as Tuesday morning, to be informed, without the agency of advertisement, of the locality of the boat taken up on Monday, unless we imagine some connexion with the navy—some personal permanent connexion leading to cognizance of its minute in interests—its petty local news?

“And what methods do we have to uncover the truth? We will find these methods multiplying and becoming clearer as we move forward. Let’s dig deep into the matter of the first elopement. We need to understand the full story of 'the officer,' including his current situation and where he was at the exact time of the murder. Let’s carefully compare the various messages sent to the evening paper, which aimed to implicate a gang. Once we do that, let’s compare these messages, in terms of style and manuscript, with those sent to the morning paper earlier, which strongly insisted on Mennais's guilt. After that, let’s compare these various messages with the known manuscripts of the officer. We should also try to gather more information about the personal appearance and demeanor of the 'dark-complexioned man' by repeatedly questioning Madame Deluc and her boys, as well as the bus driver, Valence. Well-directed questions will likely bring out information from these individuals regarding this specific point (or others)—information they themselves might not even realize they have. Now, let’s track down the boat that the bargeman picked up on the morning of Monday, June twenty-third, which was taken from the barge office without the officer on duty knowing and without the rudder, sometime before the body was discovered. With proper caution and persistence, we will surely trace this boat; not only can the bargeman who found it identify it, but the rudder is also available. A sailboat’s rudder wouldn’t have been left behind casually by someone who felt completely at ease. And here I’d like to pause to raise a question. There was no announcement regarding the recovery of this boat. It was quietly taken to the barge office and just as quietly removed. But how did its owner or employer know, so early on Tuesday morning, without any advertisement, where the boat taken up on Monday was located, unless we assume some connection to the navy—a personal and ongoing link leading to knowledge of its minor interests and local news?”

“In speaking of the lonely assassin dragging his burden to the shore, I have already suggested the probability of his availing himself of a boat. Now we are to understand that Marie Rogêt was precipitated from a boat. This would naturally have been the case. The corpse could not have been trusted to the shallow waters of the shore. The peculiar marks on the back and shoulders of the victim tell of the bottom ribs of a boat. That the body was found without weight is also corroborative of the idea. If thrown from the shore a weight would have been attached. We can only account for its absence by supposing the murderer to have neglected the precaution of supplying himself with it before pushing off. In the act of consigning the corpse to the water, he would unquestionably have noticed his oversight; but then no remedy would have been at hand. Any risk would have been preferred to a return to that accursed shore. Having rid himself of his ghastly charge, the murderer would have hastened to the city. There, at some obscure wharf, he would have leaped on land. But the boat—would he have secured it? He would have been in too great haste for such things as securing a boat. Moreover, in fastening it to the wharf, he would have felt as if securing evidence against himself. His natural thought would have been to cast from him, as far as possible, all that had held connection with his crime. He would not only have fled from the wharf, but he would not have permitted the boat to remain. Assuredly he would have cast it adrift. Let us pursue our fancies.—In the morning, the wretch is stricken with unutterable horror at finding that the boat has been picked up and detained at a locality which he is in the daily habit of frequenting —at a locality, perhaps, which his duty compels him to frequent. The next night, without daring to ask for the rudder, he removes it. Now where is that rudderless boat? Let it be one of our first purposes to discover. With the first glimpse we obtain of it, the dawn of our success shall begin. This boat shall guide us, with a rapidity which will surprise even ourselves, to him who employed it in the midnight of the fatal Sabbath. Corroboration will rise upon corroboration, and the murderer will be traced.”

“When talking about the lonely assassin dragging his burden to the shore, I’ve already suggested that he likely used a boat. Now, we understand that Marie Rogêt was thrown from a boat. This would’ve been the case. The body couldn’t just be left in the shallow waters. The specific marks on the victim’s back and shoulders indicate the ribs of a boat. The fact that the body was found without any weight supports this idea. If it had been thrown from the shore, a weight would have been attached. We can only explain its absence by assuming the murderer forgot to bring one before leaving. In the act of dumping the body into the water, he would definitely have noticed his mistake, but it would have been too late to fix it. He would have preferred taking the risk over going back to that cursed shore. Once he got rid of his gruesome load, the murderer would have rushed to the city. There, at some hidden wharf, he would have jumped onto land. But the boat—would he have secured it? He would have been too hurried to think about securing a boat. Plus, if he tied it to the wharf, it would feel like he was leaving evidence against himself. His instinct would have been to get rid of anything connected to his crime. He wouldn’t just have fled the wharf, but he wouldn’t have let the boat stay there either. Surely, he would have set it adrift. Let’s imagine further. In the morning, he’s hit with an unbearable horror upon discovering that the boat has been found and held at a place he often visits—maybe a place he has to frequent for his job. The next night, without daring to ask for the rudder, he removes it. So, where is that rudderless boat? Let's make it our first priority to find it. The moment we catch a glimpse of it, our success will begin to unfold. This boat will lead us, quickly surprising even ourselves, to the person who used it in the darkness of that deadly Sunday. Confirmation will pile upon confirmation, and the murderer will be tracked down.”

[For reasons which we shall not specify, but which to many readers will appear obvious, we have taken the liberty of here omitting, from the MSS. placed in our hands, such portion as details the following up of the apparently slight clew obtained by Dupin. We feel it advisable only to state, in brief, that the result desired was brought to pass; and that the Prefect fulfilled punctually, although with reluctance, the terms of his compact with the Chevalier. Mr. Poe’s article concludes with the following words.—Eds. (*23)]

[For reasons we won't specify, but that will seem obvious to many readers, we've decided to omit from the manuscripts given to us the section that follows up on the seemingly minor clue obtained by Dupin. We think it's best to simply state that the desired outcome was achieved; and that the Prefect, although reluctantly, adhered to the terms of his agreement with the Chevalier. Mr. Poe’s article ends with the following words.—Eds. (*23)]

It will be understood that I speak of coincidences and no more. What I have said above upon this topic must suffice. In my own heart there dwells no faith in præter-nature. That Nature and its God are two, no man who thinks, will deny. That the latter, creating the former, can, at will, control or modify it, is also unquestionable. I say “at will;” for the question is of will, and not, as the insanity of logic has assumed, of power. It is not that the Deity cannot modify his laws, but that we insult him in imagining a possible necessity for modification. In their origin these laws were fashioned to embrace all contingencies which could lie in the Future. With God all is Now.

It's important to clarify that I'm only talking about coincidences and nothing more. What I've mentioned above on this subject should be enough. In my heart, I don't believe in anything supernatural. No thoughtful person would deny that Nature and its God are separate. It’s also clear that the latter, by creating the former, can control or change it whenever he chooses. I say "whenever he chooses" because the focus is on choice, not, as flawed reasoning might suggest, on ability. It's not that God can't change his laws, but it's disrespectful to think there might be a need for him to do so. These laws were designed from the beginning to cover all possible events in the Future. With God, everything is Now.

I repeat, then, that I speak of these things only as of coincidences. And farther: in what I relate it will be seen that between the fate of the unhappy Mary Cecilia Rogers, so far as that fate is known, and the fate of one Marie Rogêt up to a certain epoch in her history, there has existed a parallel in the contemplation of whose wonderful exactitude the reason becomes embarrassed. I say all this will be seen. But let it not for a moment be supposed that, in proceeding with the sad narrative of Marie from the epoch just mentioned, and in tracing to its dénouement the mystery which enshrouded her, it is my covert design to hint at an extension of the parallel, or even to suggest that the measures adopted in Paris for the discovery of the assassin of a grisette, or measures founded in any similar ratiocination, would produce any similar result.

I want to emphasize that I’m discussing these things only as coincidences. Furthermore, in what I'm about to share, you'll notice that there’s a striking parallel between the fate of the unfortunate Mary Cecilia Rogers, as far as we know it, and the fate of one Marie Rogêt up to a certain point in her story. This similarity is so remarkable that it’s hard to grasp. I mention this will be clear. However, please don’t think for a second that as I continue with the tragic story of Marie from the point just mentioned, and as I work towards uncovering the mystery surrounding her, I’m subtly implying that this parallel extends further, or even suggesting that the methods used in Paris to find the killer of a young woman, or any similar reasoning, would lead to the same outcome.

For, in respect to the latter branch of the supposition, it should be considered that the most trifling variation in the facts of the two cases might give rise to the most important miscalculations, by diverting thoroughly the two courses of events; very much as, in arithmetic, an error which, in its own individuality, may be inappreciable, produces, at length, by dint of multiplication at all points of the process, a result enormously at variance with truth. And, in regard to the former branch, we must not fail to hold in view that the very Calculus of Probabilities to which I have referred, forbids all idea of the extension of the parallel—forbids it with a positiveness strong and decided just in proportion as this parallel has already been long-drawn and exact. This is one of those anomalous propositions which, seemingly appealing to thought altogether apart from the mathematical, is yet one which only the mathematician can fully entertain. Nothing, for example, is more difficult than to convince the merely general reader that the fact of sixes having been thrown twice in succession by a player at dice, is sufficient cause for betting the largest odds that sixes will not be thrown in the third attempt. A suggestion to this effect is usually rejected by the intellect at once. It does not appear that the two throws which have been completed, and which lie now absolutely in the Past, can have influence upon the throw which exists only in the Future. The chance for throwing sixes seems to be precisely as it was at any ordinary time—that is to say, subject only to the influence of the various other throws which may be made by the dice. And this is a reflection which appears so exceedingly obvious that attempts to controvert it are received more frequently with a derisive smile than with anything like respectful attention. The error here involved—a gross error redolent of mischief—I cannot pretend to expose within the limits assigned me at present; and with the philosophical it needs no exposure. It may be sufficient here to say that it forms one of an infinite series of mistakes which arise in the path of Reason through her propensity for seeking truth in detail.

For the latter part of the assumption, it should be noted that even the smallest change in the facts of both cases can lead to significant miscalculations by completely altering the two outcomes; similar to how, in arithmetic, a minor error that seems negligible in itself can, through multiplication throughout the entire process, result in an answer that is vastly different from the truth. Regarding the former part, we must remember that the very Calculus of Probabilities I mentioned prohibits any idea of extending the parallel—it forbids it with strong certainty, especially as this parallel has already been long and precise. This is one of those unusual propositions that, while it seems to appeal to thought outside of mathematics, is something only a mathematician can fully grasp. For example, it is incredibly difficult to convince a general reader that the fact a player has rolled sixes twice in a row is enough reason to bet heavily against rolling sixes on the third try. Such a suggestion is usually rejected immediately by the mind. It doesn't seem possible that the two completed rolls, which are now entirely in the past, could influence a roll that only exists in the future. The odds of rolling sixes appear to be just the same as at any other time—that is, only affected by other rolls that may be made with the dice. This idea seems so obvious that arguments against it are often met with a mocking smile rather than serious consideration. The error involved here—a serious error that carries potential harm—I can't hope to fully explain within the limits I'm given right now; and it doesn't require exposure among philosophers. It might be enough to say that it represents one of an endless series of mistakes that occur on the path of Reason due to its tendency to seek truth in the details.

FOOTNOTES—Marie Rogêt

(*1) Upon the original publication of “Marie Roget,” the foot-notes now appended were considered unnecessary; but the lapse of several years since the tragedy upon which the tale is based, renders it expedient to give them, and also to say a few words in explanation of the general design. A young girl, Mary Cecilia Rogers, was murdered in the vicinity of New York; and, although her death occasioned an intense and long-enduring excitement, the mystery attending it had remained unsolved at the period when the present paper was written and published (November, 1842). Herein, under pretence of relating the fate of a Parisian grisette, the author has followed in minute detail, the essential, while merely paralleling the inessential facts of the real murder of Mary Rogers. Thus all argument founded upon the fiction is applicable to the truth: and the investigation of the truth was the object. The “Mystery of Marie Roget” was composed at a distance from the scene of the atrocity, and with no other means of investigation than the newspapers afforded. Thus much escaped the writer of which he could have availed himself had he been upon the spot, and visited the localities. It may not be improper to record, nevertheless, that the confessions of two persons, (one of them the Madame Deluc of the narrative) made, at different periods, long subsequent to the publication, confirmed, in full, not only the general conclusion, but absolutely all the chief hypothetical details by which that conclusion was attained.

(*1) When “Marie Roget” was originally published, the footnotes now included were deemed unnecessary; however, several years have passed since the tragedy that inspired the story, making it appropriate to include them and to explain the overall purpose. A young woman, Mary Cecilia Rogers, was murdered near New York, and while her death sparked intense and lasting public interest, the mystery surrounding it remained unsolved by the time this paper was written and published (November 1842). In this work, under the guise of telling the story of a Parisian working-class girl, the author has carefully followed the crucial details while only paralleling the unimportant facts of the real murder of Mary Rogers. Thus, any arguments based on the fiction are relevant to the truth, and exploring that truth was the goal. “The Mystery of Marie Roget” was written away from the site of the crime, relying solely on information from newspapers. There are many details the author could have used if he had been on location and explored the areas involved. It’s worth noting, however, that the confessions of two people (one being Madame Deluc from the story), made at different times long after the publication, fully confirmed not only the main conclusion but also all the key hypothetical details that led to that conclusion.

(*2) The nom de plume of Von Hardenburg.

(*2) The pen name of Von Hardenburg.

(*3) Nassau Street.

Nassau Street.

(*4) Anderson.

Anderson.

(*5) The Hudson.

The Hudson River.

(*6) Weehawken.

Weehawken.

(*7) Payne.

Payne.

(*8) Crommelin.

Crommelin.

(*9) The New York “Mercury.”

The New York "Mercury."

(*10) The New York “Brother Jonathan,” edited by H. Hastings Weld, Esq.

(*10) The New York "Brother Jonathan," edited by H. Hastings Weld, Esq.

(*11) New York “Journal of Commerce.”

(*11) New York “Journal of Commerce.”

(*12) Philadelphia “Saturday Evening Post,” edited by C. I. Peterson, Esq.

(*12) Philadelphia “Saturday Evening Post,” edited by C. I. Peterson, Esq.

(*13) Adam

Adam

(*14) See “Murders in the Rue Morgue.”

(*14) See “Murders in the Rue Morgue.”

(*15) The New York “Commercial Advertiser,” edited by Col. Stone.

(*15) The New York "Commercial Advertiser," edited by Col. Stone.

(*16) “A theory based on the qualities of an object, will prevent its being unfolded according to its objects; and he who arranges topics in reference to their causes, will cease to value them according to their results. Thus the jurisprudence of every nation will show that, when law becomes a science and a system, it ceases to be justice. The errors into which a blind devotion to principles of classification has led the common law, will be seen by observing how often the legislature has been obliged to come forward to restore the equity its scheme had lost.”—Landor.

(*16) “A theory based on the characteristics of an object will stop it from being understood based on its purposes; and someone who organizes topics based on their causes will no longer value them for their outcomes. Therefore, the legal system of every nation shows that when law turns into a science and a system, it stops being justice. The mistakes caused by a blind loyalty to classification principles in common law can be seen by how often the legislature has had to step in to restore the fairness that its structure had lost.” —Landor.

(*17) New York “Express”

New York Express

(*18) New York “Herald.”

New York "Herald."

(*19) New York “Courier and Inquirer.”

(*19) New York “Courier and Inquirer.”

(*20) Mennais was one of the parties originally suspected and arrested, but discharged through total lack of evidence.

(*20) Mennais was one of the initial suspects who was arrested but released due to a complete lack of evidence.

(*21) New York “Courier and Inquirer.”

(*21) New York “Courier and Inquirer.”

(*22) New York “Evening Post.”

New York Evening Post.

(*23) Of the Magazine in which the article was originally published.

(*23) Of the magazine where the article was first published.

THE BALLOON-HOAX

[Astounding News by Express, via Norfolk!—The Atlantic crossed in Three Days! Signal Triumph of Mr. Monck Mason’s Flying Machine!—Arrival at Sullivan’s Island, near Charlestown, S.C., of Mr. Mason, Mr. Robert Holland, Mr. Henson, Mr. Harrison Ainsworth, and four others, in the Steering Balloon, “Victoria,” after a passage of Seventy-five Hours from Land to Land! Full Particulars of the Voyage!
    The subjoined jeu d’esprit with the preceding heading in magnificent capitals, well interspersed with notes of admiration, was originally published, as matter of fact, in the “New York Sun,” a daily newspaper, and therein fully subserved the purpose of creating indigestible aliment for the quidnuncs during the few hours intervening between a couple of the Charleston mails. The rush for the “sole paper which had the news,” was something beyond even the prodigious; and, in fact, if (as some assert) the “Victoria” did not absolutely accomplish the voyage recorded, it will be difficult to assign a reason why she should not have accomplished it.]

[Astounding News by Express, via Norfolk!—The Atlantic crossed in Three Days! Signal Triumph of Mr. Monck Mason’s Flying Machine!—Arrival at Sullivan’s Island, near Charleston, S.C., of Mr. Mason, Mr. Robert Holland, Mr. Henson, Mr. Harrison Ainsworth, and four others, in the Steering Balloon, “Victoria,” after a journey of Seventy-five Hours from Land to Land! Full Details of the Voyage!
The following jeu d’esprit with the preceding headline in impressive capitals, sprinkled with exclamation points, was originally published in the “New York Sun,” a daily newspaper, and successfully served the purpose of providing juicy gossip for the quidnuncs during the brief hours between a couple of Charleston mail deliveries. The rush for the “only paper that had the news” was nothing short of extraordinary; and, in fact, if (as some claim) the “Victoria” did not actually make the journey stated, it will be hard to explain why she should not have completed it.]

The great problem is at length solved! The air, as well as the earth and the ocean, has been subdued by science, and will become a common and convenient highway for mankind. The Atlantic has been actually crossed in a Balloon! and this too without difficulty—without any great apparent danger—with thorough control of the machine—and in the inconceivably brief period of seventy-five hours from shore to shore! By the energy of an agent at Charleston, S.C., we are enabled to be the first to furnish the public with a detailed account of this most extraordinary voyage, which was performed between Saturday, the 6th instant, at 11, A.M., and 2, P.M., on Tuesday, the 9th instant, by Sir Everard Bringhurst; Mr. Osborne, a nephew of Lord Bentinck’s; Mr. Monck Mason and Mr. Robert Holland, the well-known æronauts; Mr. Harrison Ainsworth, author of “Jack Sheppard,” &c.; and Mr. Henson, the projector of the late unsuccessful flying machine—with two seamen from Woolwich—in all, eight persons. The particulars furnished below may be relied on as authentic and accurate in every respect, as, with a slight exception, they are copied verbatim from the joint diaries of Mr. Monck Mason and Mr. Harrison Ainsworth, to whose politeness our agent is also indebted for much verbal information respecting the balloon itself, its construction, and other matters of interest. The only alteration in the MS. received, has been made for the purpose of throwing the hurried account of our agent, Mr. Forsyth, into a connected and intelligible form.

The great problem is finally solved! The air, along with the earth and the ocean, has been conquered by science and will become a common and convenient highway for people. The Atlantic has actually been crossed in a balloon! and this was done easily—without significant danger—with total control of the machine—and in the incredibly short time of seventy-five hours from shore to shore! Through the efforts of an agent in Charleston, S.C., we are proud to be the first to provide the public with a detailed account of this remarkable journey, which took place from Saturday, the 6th, at 11 A.M., to 2 P.M. on Tuesday, the 9th, by Sir Everard Bringhurst; Mr. Osborne, a nephew of Lord Bentinck; Mr. Monck Mason and Mr. Robert Holland, the well-known balloonists; Mr. Harrison Ainsworth, author of “Jack Sheppard,” &c.; and Mr. Henson, the designer of the recent unsuccessful flying machine—along with two seamen from Woolwich—in total, eight people. The details provided below can be trusted as authentic and accurate in every way, as, with a slight exception, they are copied verbatim from the joint diaries of Mr. Monck Mason and Mr. Harrison Ainsworth, to whom our agent is also grateful for much verbal information regarding the balloon itself, its construction, and other interesting details. The only change made to the received manuscript was to organize our agent Mr. Forsyth's summary into a coherent and understandable form.

“THE BALLOON.

“THE BALLOON.”

“Two very decided failures, of late—those of Mr. Henson and Sir George Cayley—had much weakened the public interest in the subject of aerial navigation. Mr. Henson’s scheme (which at first was considered very feasible even by men of science,) was founded upon the principle of an inclined plane, started from an eminence by an extrinsic force, applied and continued by the revolution of impinging vanes, in form and number resembling the vanes of a windmill. But, in all the experiments made with models at the Adelaide Gallery, it was found that the operation of these fans not only did not propel the machine, but actually impeded its flight. The only propelling force it ever exhibited, was the mere impetus acquired from the descent of the inclined plane; and this impetus carried the machine farther when the vanes were at rest, than when they were in motion—a fact which sufficiently demonstrates their inutility; and in the absence of the propelling, which was also the sustaining power, the whole fabric would necessarily descend. This consideration led Sir George Cayley to think only of adapting a propeller to some machine having of itself an independent power of support—in a word, to a balloon; the idea, however, being novel, or original, with Sir George, only so far as regards the mode of its application to practice. He exhibited a model of his invention at the Polytechnic Institution. The propelling principle, or power, was here, also, applied to interrupted surfaces, or vanes, put in revolution. These vanes were four in number, but were found entirely ineffectual in moving the balloon, or in aiding its ascending power. The whole project was thus a complete failure.

“Two significant failures recently—those of Mr. Henson and Sir George Cayley—really dampened public interest in aerial navigation. Mr. Henson's plan (which initially seemed quite feasible even to scientists) was based on the idea of an inclined plane, launched from a height by an external force, maintained by the turning of blades that looked and worked like windmill sails. However, all the experiments conducted with models at the Adelaide Gallery showed that these fans not only failed to push the machine forward but actually hindered its flight. The only force they ever provided was the basic momentum gained from the slope of the incline; this momentum took the machine further when the blades were still than when they were moving—a fact that clearly showed their ineffectiveness. Without the thrust, which also served as the lifting power, the entire structure would inevitably fall. This realization prompted Sir George Cayley to focus on fitting a propeller to a machine that had its own independent lift—in short, a balloon; though the idea was new and original to Sir George in terms of its practical implementation. He showcased a model of his invention at the Polytechnic Institution. The propulsion method was again applied to rotating surfaces or blades. There were four blades in total, but they proved completely useless in moving the balloon or enhancing its ability to rise. Thus, the entire project was a total failure.”

“It was at this juncture that Mr. Monck Mason (whose voyage from Dover to Weilburg in the balloon, “Nassau,” occasioned so much excitement in 1837,) conceived the idea of employing the principle of the Archimedean screw for the purpose of propulsion through the air—rightly attributing the failure of Mr. Henson’s scheme, and of Sir George Cayley’s, to the interruption of surface in the independent vanes. He made the first public experiment at Willis’s Rooms, but afterward removed his model to the Adelaide Gallery.

“It was at this point that Mr. Monck Mason (whose trip from Dover to Weilburg in the balloon “Nassau” caused so much excitement in 1837) came up with the idea of using the Archimedean screw principle for propulsion through the air—correctly identifying the reason for the failure of Mr. Henson’s plan and Sir George Cayley’s as the disruption of surface in the separate vanes. He conducted the first public experiment at Willis’s Rooms but later moved his model to the Adelaide Gallery.”

“Like Sir George Cayley’s balloon, his own was an ellipsoid. Its length was thirteen feet six inches—height, six feet eight inches. It contained about three hundred and twenty cubic feet of gas, which, if pure hydrogen, would support twenty-one pounds upon its first inflation, before the gas has time to deteriorate or escape. The weight of the whole machine and apparatus was seventeen pounds—leaving about four pounds to spare. Beneath the centre of the balloon, was a frame of light wood, about nine feet long, and rigged on to the balloon itself with a network in the customary manner. From this framework was suspended a wicker basket or car.

“Like Sir George Cayley's balloon, his was also an ellipsoid. It measured thirteen feet six inches in length and six feet eight inches in height. It held about three hundred and twenty cubic feet of gas, which, if it were pure hydrogen, could lift twenty-one pounds upon its first inflation, before the gas had time to deteriorate or escape. The total weight of the entire machine and equipment was seventeen pounds, leaving about four pounds for additional weight. Beneath the center of the balloon, there was a frame made of lightweight wood, around nine feet long, attached to the balloon with a network in the usual way. From this framework, a wicker basket or car was suspended.”

“The screw consists of an axis of hollow brass tube, eighteen inches in length, through which, upon a semi-spiral inclined at fifteen degrees, pass a series of steel wire radii, two feet long, and thus projecting a foot on either side. These radii are connected at the outer extremities by two bands of flattened wire—the whole in this manner forming the framework of the screw, which is completed by a covering of oiled silk cut into gores, and tightened so as to present a tolerably uniform surface. At each end of its axis this screw is supported by pillars of hollow brass tube descending from the hoop. In the lower ends of these tubes are holes in which the pivots of the axis revolve. From the end of the axis which is next the car, proceeds a shaft of steel, connecting the screw with the pinion of a piece of spring machinery fixed in the car. By the operation of this spring, the screw is made to revolve with great rapidity, communicating a progressive motion to the whole. By means of the rudder, the machine was readily turned in any direction. The spring was of great power, compared with its dimensions, being capable of raising forty-five pounds upon a barrel of four inches diameter, after the first turn, and gradually increasing as it was wound up. It weighed, altogether, eight pounds six ounces. The rudder was a light frame of cane covered with silk, shaped somewhat like a battle-door, and was about three feet long, and at the widest, one foot. Its weight was about two ounces. It could be turned flat, and directed upwards or downwards, as well as to the right or left; and thus enabled the æronaut to transfer the resistance of the air which in an inclined position it must generate in its passage, to any side upon which he might desire to act; thus determining the balloon in the opposite direction.

The screw is made of a hollow brass tube that's eighteen inches long. Inside, there's a semi-spiral inclined at fifteen degrees, with a series of steel wire radii that are two feet long, extending a foot on either side. These radii are connected at the ends by two bands of flattened wire, forming the structure of the screw, which is topped with oiled silk cut into gores and tightened to create a fairly smooth surface. The screw's axis is supported at both ends by hollow brass tube pillars that hang from the hoop. At the bottom of these tubes are holes where the axis pivots. From the end of the axis close to the car, a steel shaft connects the screw to the pinion of a spring mechanism fixed in the car. When the spring operates, it makes the screw spin quickly, giving the entire system forward motion. The rudder allows for easy turning in any direction. The spring is very powerful for its size, capable of lifting forty-five pounds on a four-inch diameter barrel after the first turn, and it increases gradually as it’s wound up. The total weight is eight pounds six ounces. The rudder is a lightweight cane frame covered with silk, shaped a bit like a paddle, about three feet long and one foot wide at its widest point. It weighs around two ounces and can be turned flat and directed up, down, left, or right. This allows the aeronaut to shift the air resistance generated during its inclined movement to any side they want to act on, effectively steering the balloon in the opposite direction.

“This model (which, through want of time, we have necessarily described in an imperfect manner,) was put in action at the Adelaide Gallery, where it accomplished a velocity of five miles per hour; although, strange to say, it excited very little interest in comparison with the previous complex machine of Mr. Henson—so resolute is the world to despise anything which carries with it an air of simplicity. To accomplish the great desideratum of ærial navigation, it was very generally supposed that some exceedingly complicated application must be made of some unusually profound principle in dynamics.

“This model (which, due to time constraints, we have necessarily described imperfectly) was used at the Adelaide Gallery, where it reached a speed of five miles per hour; however, oddly enough, it garnered very little interest compared to Mr. Henson’s previous complex machine—so determined is society to overlook anything that seems simple. To achieve the ultimate goal of air navigation, it was widely believed that a highly complicated application of some exceptionally deep principle in dynamics was required.”

“So well satisfied, however, was Mr. Mason of the ultimate success of his invention, that he determined to construct immediately, if possible, a balloon of sufficient capacity to test the question by a voyage of some extent—the original design being to cross the British Channel, as before, in the Nassau balloon. To carry out his views, he solicited and obtained the patronage of Sir Everard Bringhurst and Mr. Osborne, two gentlemen well known for scientific acquirement, and especially for the interest they have exhibited in the progress of ærostation. The project, at the desire of Mr. Osborne, was kept a profound secret from the public—the only persons entrusted with the design being those actually engaged in the construction of the machine, which was built (under the superintendence of Mr. Mason, Mr. Holland, Sir Everard Bringhurst, and Mr. Osborne,) at the seat of the latter gentleman near Penstruthal, in Wales. Mr. Henson, accompanied by his friend Mr. Ainsworth, was admitted to a private view of the balloon, on Saturday last—when the two gentlemen made final arrangements to be included in the adventure. We are not informed for what reason the two seamen were also included in the party—but, in the course of a day or two, we shall put our readers in possession of the minutest particulars respecting this extraordinary voyage.

Mr. Mason was so confident in the eventual success of his invention that he decided to immediately construct, if possible, a balloon large enough to test the idea with a longer journey—the original plan being to cross the British Channel, just like before in the Nassau balloon. To support his plans, he sought and received the backing of Sir Everard Bringhurst and Mr. Osborne, two men well known for their scientific knowledge and their interest in the advancement of aeronautics. At Mr. Osborne's request, the project was kept completely secret from the public—the only people aware of the design were those directly involved in building the machine, which was constructed (under the supervision of Mr. Mason, Mr. Holland, Sir Everard Bringhurst, and Mr. Osborne) at Mr. Osborne's estate near Penstruthal, in Wales. Last Saturday, Mr. Henson, along with his friend Mr. Ainsworth, was given a private look at the balloon—during which the two men finalized their plans to join the adventure. We don’t know why the two sailors were also included in the group, but in the coming days, we will provide our readers with all the details about this extraordinary voyage.

“The balloon is composed of silk, varnished with the liquid gum caoutchouc. It is of vast dimensions, containing more than 40,000 cubic feet of gas; but as coal gas was employed in place of the more expensive and inconvenient hydrogen, the supporting power of the machine, when fully inflated, and immediately after inflation, is not more than about 2500 pounds. The coal gas is not only much less costly, but is easily procured and managed.

“The balloon is made of silk and coated with liquid rubber. It’s quite large, holding more than 40,000 cubic feet of gas; however, since coal gas was used instead of the more expensive and inconvenient hydrogen, the lift capacity of the balloon, when fully inflated and just after inflation, is only about 2500 pounds. Coal gas is not only much cheaper but is also easy to obtain and handle.”

“For its introduction into common use for purposes of aerostation, we are indebted to Mr. Charles Green. Up to his discovery, the process of inflation was not only exceedingly expensive, but uncertain. Two, and even three days, have frequently been wasted in futile attempts to procure a sufficiency of hydrogen to fill a balloon, from which it had great tendency to escape, owing to its extreme subtlety, and its affinity for the surrounding atmosphere. In a balloon sufficiently perfect to retain its contents of coal-gas unaltered, in quantity or amount, for six months, an equal quantity of hydrogen could not be maintained in equal purity for six weeks.

“For bringing it into common use for ballooning, we owe a lot to Mr. Charles Green. Before his discovery, inflating balloons was not only really costly but also unpredictable. Often, two or even three days were wasted in unsuccessful attempts to gather enough hydrogen to fill a balloon, which tended to escape quickly due to its extremely light weight and its tendency to mix with the surrounding air. In a balloon that could keep coal gas unchanged in quantity and quality for six months, an equal amount of hydrogen couldn't be kept in the same level of purity for even six weeks.”

“The supporting power being estimated at 2500 pounds, and the united weights of the party amounting only to about 1200, there was left a surplus of 1300, of which again 1200 was exhausted by ballast, arranged in bags of different sizes, with their respective weights marked upon them—by cordage, barometers, telescopes, barrels containing provision for a fortnight, water-casks, cloaks, carpet-bags, and various other indispensable matters, including a coffee-warmer, contrived for warming coffee by means of slack-lime, so as to dispense altogether with fire, if it should be judged prudent to do so. All these articles, with the exception of the ballast, and a few trifles, were suspended from the hoop overhead. The car is much smaller and lighter, in proportion, than the one appended to the model. It is formed of a light wicker, and is wonderfully strong, for so frail looking a machine. Its rim is about four feet deep. The rudder is also very much larger, in proportion, than that of the model; and the screw is considerably smaller. The balloon is furnished besides with a grapnel, and a guide-rope; which latter is of the most indispensable importance. A few words, in explanation, will here be necessary for such of our readers as are not conversant with the details of aerostation.

“The supporting power is estimated at 2,500 pounds, and the total weight of the group is only about 1,200 pounds, leaving a surplus of 1,300 pounds, of which 1,200 pounds is used for ballast, arranged in bags of different sizes with their weights labeled. Additionally, there’s cordage, barometers, telescopes, barrels with two weeks’ worth of provisions, water casks, cloaks, carpet bags, and various other essential items, including a coffee warmer designed to heat coffee using slack lime, allowing them to avoid using fire if deemed necessary. All these items, aside from the ballast and a few minor things, were suspended from the hoop above. The car is much smaller and lighter compared to the one attached to the model. It’s made of lightweight wicker and is surprisingly strong for such a delicate-looking structure. Its rim is about four feet deep. The rudder is also much larger in proportion than that of the model, while the screw is significantly smaller. The balloon is also equipped with a grapnel and a guide rope, which is extremely important. A few words of explanation will be necessary for those of our readers who aren’t familiar with the details of aerostation."

“As soon as the balloon quits the earth, it is subjected to the influence of many circumstances tending to create a difference in its weight; augmenting or diminishing its ascending power. For example, there may be a deposition of dew upon the silk, to the extent, even, of several hundred pounds; ballast has then to be thrown out, or the machine may descend. This ballast being discarded, and a clear sunshine evaporating the dew, and at the same time expanding the gas in the silk, the whole will again rapidly ascend. To check this ascent, the only recourse is, (or rather was, until Mr. Green’s invention of the guide-rope,) the permission of the escape of gas from the valve; but, in the loss of gas, is a proportionate general loss of ascending power; so that, in a comparatively brief period, the best-constructed balloon must necessarily exhaust all its resources, and come to the earth. This was the great obstacle to voyages of length.

“As soon as the balloon leaves the ground, it starts to be affected by various factors that can change its weight, either increasing or decreasing its ability to rise. For instance, dew can collect on the silk, weighing it down by several hundred pounds; in this case, ballast needs to be released, or the balloon will descend. Once the ballast is dropped, the sunlight will evaporate the dew and expand the gas inside the silk, allowing it to ascend quickly again. To control this ascent, the only option was (or rather was, until Mr. Green invented the guide-rope) to release gas from the valve. However, losing gas also means a significant loss of lifting power; so, in a relatively short time, even the best-designed balloon will run out of lift and come back to the ground. This was the major challenge for long-distance flights.”

“The guide-rope remedies the difficulty in the simplest manner conceivable. It is merely a very long rope which is suffered to trail from the car, and the effect of which is to prevent the balloon from changing its level in any material degree. If, for example, there should be a deposition of moisture upon the silk, and the machine begins to descend in consequence, there will be no necessity for discharging ballast to remedy the increase of weight, for it is remedied, or counteracted, in an exactly just proportion, by the deposit on the ground of just so much of the end of the rope as is necessary. If, on the other hand, any circumstances should cause undue levity, and consequent ascent, this levity is immediately counteracted by the additional weight of rope upraised from the earth. Thus, the balloon can neither ascend or descend, except within very narrow limits, and its resources, either in gas or ballast, remain comparatively unimpaired. When passing over an expanse of water, it becomes necessary to employ small kegs of copper or wood, filled with liquid ballast of a lighter nature than water. These float, and serve all the purposes of a mere rope on land. Another most important office of the guide-rope, is to point out the direction of the balloon. The rope drags, either on land or sea, while the balloon is free; the latter, consequently, is always in advance, when any progress whatever is made: a comparison, therefore, by means of the compass, of the relative positions of the two objects, will always indicate the course. In the same way, the angle formed by the rope with the vertical axis of the machine, indicates the velocity. When there is no angle—in other words, when the rope hangs perpendicularly, the whole apparatus is stationary; but the larger the angle, that is to say, the farther the balloon precedes the end of the rope, the greater the velocity; and the converse.

The guide rope solves the problem in the simplest way possible. It's just a really long rope that trails from the balloon, helping to keep it from changing altitude significantly. For instance, if moisture collects on the fabric and the balloon starts to descend, you won’t need to drop ballast to balance the extra weight because it’s compensated for by letting just enough of the rope hang down to the ground. On the flip side, if something causes it to become too light and rise, that extra buoyancy is immediately countered by the weight of the rope that’s lifted off the ground. So, the balloon can only go up or down within very tight limits, and its supplies of gas or ballast stay largely intact. When flying over water, it’s necessary to use small kegs made of copper or wood, filled with lighter liquid ballast than water. These kegs float and serve the same purpose as a rope on land. Another crucial function of the guide rope is to show the balloon's direction. The rope drags, either on land or water, while the balloon is free; therefore, it’s always ahead when any movement occurs. A compass comparison of their positions will indicate the course. Similarly, the angle the rope makes with the vertical axis of the balloon shows the velocity. When there’s no angle—meaning the rope hangs straight down—the whole system is stationary. But the larger the angle, or the farther the balloon is from the end of the rope, the faster the velocity, and vice versa.

“As the original design was to cross the British Channel, and alight as near Paris as possible, the voyagers had taken the precaution to prepare themselves with passports directed to all parts of the Continent, specifying the nature of the expedition, as in the case of the Nassau voyage, and entitling the adventurers to exemption from the usual formalities of office: unexpected events, however, rendered these passports superfluous.

"As the original plan was to cross the English Channel and land as close to Paris as possible, the travelers took the precaution of preparing passports that would allow them to travel throughout the continent, outlining the purpose of their journey, similar to what was done for the Nassau voyage, and granting them exemption from the usual bureaucratic procedures. However, unforeseen circumstances made these passports unnecessary."

“The inflation was commenced very quietly at daybreak, on Saturday morning, the 6th instant, in the Court-Yard of Weal-Vor House, Mr. Osborne’s seat, about a mile from Penstruthal, in North Wales; and at 7 minutes past 11, every thing being ready for departure, the balloon was set free, rising gently but steadily, in a direction nearly South; no use being made, for the first half hour, of either the screw or the rudder. We proceed now with the journal, as transcribed by Mr. Forsyth from the joint MSS. of Mr. Monck Mason, and Mr. Ainsworth. The body of the journal, as given, is in the hand-writing of Mr. Mason, and a P. S. is appended, each day, by Mr. Ainsworth, who has in preparation, and will shortly give the public a more minute, and no doubt, a thrillingly interesting account of the voyage.

The inflation began quietly at daybreak on Saturday morning, the 6th of this month, in the Court-Yard of Weal-Vor House, Mr. Osborne’s residence, about a mile from Penstruthal in North Wales. At 11:07, everything was ready for departure, and the balloon was released, rising gently but steadily in a nearly southern direction. For the first half hour, neither the screw nor the rudder was used. We will now continue with the journal, as transcribed by Mr. Forsyth from the joint manuscripts of Mr. Monck Mason and Mr. Ainsworth. The main body of the journal, as provided, is in Mr. Mason's handwriting, and each day, Mr. Ainsworth adds a postscript. He is currently preparing to publish a more detailed and undoubtedly thrilling account of the voyage.

“THE JOURNAL.

“THE JOURNAL.”

Saturday, April the 6th.—Every preparation likely to embarrass us, having been made over night, we commenced the inflation this morning at daybreak; but owing to a thick fog, which encumbered the folds of the silk and rendered it unmanageable, we did not get through before nearly eleven o’clock. Cut loose, then, in high spirits, and rose gently but steadily, with a light breeze at North, which bore us in the direction of the British Channel. Found the ascending force greater than we had expected; and as we arose higher and so got clear of the cliffs, and more in the sun’s rays, our ascent became very rapid. I did not wish, however, to lose gas at so early a period of the adventure, and so concluded to ascend for the present. We soon ran out our guide-rope; but even when we had raised it clear of the earth, we still went up very rapidly. The balloon was unusually steady, and looked beautifully. In about ten minutes after starting, the barometer indicated an altitude of 15,000 feet. The weather was remarkably fine, and the view of the subjacent country—a most romantic one when seen from any point,—was now especially sublime. The numerous deep gorges presented the appearance of lakes, on account of the dense vapors with which they were filled, and the pinnacles and crags to the South East, piled in inextricable confusion, resembling nothing so much as the giant cities of eastern fable. We were rapidly approaching the mountains in the South; but our elevation was more than sufficient to enable us to pass them in safety. In a few minutes we soared over them in fine style; and Mr. Ainsworth, with the seamen, was surprised at their apparent want of altitude when viewed from the car, the tendency of great elevation in a balloon being to reduce inequalities of the surface below, to nearly a dead level. At half-past eleven still proceeding nearly South, we obtained our first view of the Bristol Channel; and, in fifteen minutes afterward, the line of breakers on the coast appeared immediately beneath us, and we were fairly out at sea. We now resolved to let off enough gas to bring our guide-rope, with the buoys affixed, into the water. This was immediately done, and we commenced a gradual descent. In about twenty minutes our first buoy dipped, and at the touch of the second soon afterwards, we remained stationary as to elevation. We were all now anxious to test the efficiency of the rudder and screw, and we put them both into requisition forthwith, for the purpose of altering our direction more to the eastward, and in a line for Paris. By means of the rudder we instantly effected the necessary change of direction, and our course was brought nearly at right angles to that of the wind; when we set in motion the spring of the screw, and were rejoiced to find it propel us readily as desired. Upon this we gave nine hearty cheers, and dropped in the sea a bottle, enclosing a slip of parchment with a brief account of the principle of the invention. Hardly, however, had we done with our rejoicings, when an unforeseen accident occurred which discouraged us in no little degree. The steel rod connecting the spring with the propeller was suddenly jerked out of place, at the car end, (by a swaying of the car through some movement of one of the two seamen we had taken up,) and in an instant hung dangling out of reach, from the pivot of the axis of the screw. While we were endeavoring to regain it, our attention being completely absorbed, we became involved in a strong current of wind from the East, which bore us, with rapidly increasing force, towards the Atlantic. We soon found ourselves driving out to sea at the rate of not less, certainly, than fifty or sixty miles an hour, so that we came up with Cape Clear, at some forty miles to our North, before we had secured the rod, and had time to think what we were about. It was now that Mr. Ainsworth made an extraordinary, but to my fancy, a by no means unreasonable or chimerical proposition, in which he was instantly seconded by Mr. Holland—viz.: that we should take advantage of the strong gale which bore us on, and in place of beating back to Paris, make an attempt to reach the coast of North America. After slight reflection I gave a willing assent to this bold proposition, which (strange to say) met with objection from the two seamen only. As the stronger party, however, we overruled their fears, and kept resolutely upon our course. We steered due West; but as the trailing of the buoys materially impeded our progress, and we had the balloon abundantly at command, either for ascent or descent, we first threw out fifty pounds of ballast, and then wound up (by means of a windlass) so much of the rope as brought it quite clear of the sea. We perceived the effect of this manoeuvre immediately, in a vastly increased rate of progress; and, as the gale freshened, we flew with a velocity nearly inconceivable; the guide-rope flying out behind the car, like a streamer from a vessel. It is needless to say that a very short time sufficed us to lose sight of the coast. We passed over innumerable vessels of all kinds, a few of which were endeavoring to beat up, but the most of them lying to. We occasioned the greatest excitement on board all—an excitement greatly relished by ourselves, and especially by our two men, who, now under the influence of a dram of Geneva, seemed resolved to give all scruple, or fear, to the wind. Many of the vessels fired signal guns; and in all we were saluted with loud cheers (which we heard with surprising distinctness) and the waving of caps and handkerchiefs. We kept on in this manner throughout the day, with no material incident, and, as the shades of night closed around us, we made a rough estimate of the distance traversed. It could not have been less than five hundred miles, and was probably much more. The propeller was kept in constant operation, and, no doubt, aided our progress materially. As the sun went down, the gale freshened into an absolute hurricane, and the ocean beneath was clearly visible on account of its phosphorescence. The wind was from the East all night, and gave us the brightest omen of success. We suffered no little from cold, and the dampness of the atmosphere was most unpleasant; but the ample space in the car enabled us to lie down, and by means of cloaks and a few blankets, we did sufficiently well.

Saturday, April 6th.—After preparing everything that could potentially hold us back overnight, we started inflating the balloon early this morning at daybreak. However, because of a thick fog that tangled the silk, we didn't finish until almost eleven o’clock. Once we cut loose, we were in high spirits as we rose gently yet steadily, with a light breeze from the North pushing us toward the British Channel. The lift was stronger than we anticipated, and as we climbed higher and broke free from the cliffs, catching more sunlight, our ascent became quite rapid. I didn't want to lose gas so early in our adventure, so I decided to keep climbing for now. We soon let out our guide-rope, but even when it was clear of the ground, we continued to rise quickly. The balloon was unusually stable and looked beautiful. About ten minutes after taking off, the barometer showed we reached an altitude of 15,000 feet. The weather was exceptionally nice, and the view of the landscape below—which was stunning from any angle—was especially breathtaking now. The many deep gorges appeared as if they were lakes due to the thick mist filling them, and the peaks and crags to the Southeast were in such chaotic arrangement that they looked like the giant cities from eastern myths. We were rapidly nearing the mountains in the South, but our height was more than enough to pass over them safely. In a few moments, we soared over them gracefully; Mr. Ainsworth and the sailors were surprised at how low they seemed from the basket, as being at such a high altitude tends to flatten out the terrain below. By half-past eleven, still heading nearly South, we caught our first glimpse of the Bristol Channel. Fifteen minutes later, we saw the line of breakers on the coast directly beneath us, and we were officially out at sea. We decided to release enough gas to lower our guide-rope, with the attached buoys, into the water. This was done immediately, and we began our gradual descent. In about twenty minutes, our first buoy dipped, and shortly after the second touched the water, we became stable in altitude. We were all eager to test the rudder and screw, so we quickly put them to use to change our direction more eastward, aiming for Paris. Using the rudder, we swiftly changed course almost perpendicular to the wind; then we activated the screw and were pleased to find it propelled us as we wanted. We cheered nine times heartily and dropped a bottle into the sea with a slip of parchment inside explaining the principle of our invention. However, hardly had we finished celebrating when an unexpected accident occurred that discouraged us quite a bit. The steel rod connecting the spring to the propeller suddenly got dislodged at the car end (due to one of the two sailors moving the car), and in an instant, it dangled out of reach from the pivot of the screw's axis. While we were trying to retrieve it, completely absorbed in this, we were swept up in a strong easterly wind that carried us rapidly toward the Atlantic. We soon found ourselves being pushed out to sea at a rate of no less than fifty or sixty miles an hour, catching up with Cape Clear, about forty miles to our North, before we had a chance to secure the rod or even pause to think. It was then that Mr. Ainsworth made an extraordinary suggestion, which struck me as neither unreasonable nor fanciful, and Mr. Holland immediately supported him—namely, that we should take advantage of the powerful gale propelling us and instead of turning back to Paris, try to reach the North American coast. After a moment's thought, I agreed to this ambitious plan, which, interestingly enough, was only opposed by the two sailors. As the stronger party, we ignored their fears and stuck to our course. We steered directly West; however, since dragging the buoys was slowing us down and we had plenty of control over the balloon for either ascending or descending, we first tossed out fifty pounds of ballast and then reeled in (using a winch) enough of the rope to keep it completely out of the water. We noticed an immediate improvement in our speed, and as the wind picked up, we flew at an almost unbelievable speed, the guide-rope trailing behind like a streamer from a ship. It goes without saying that it didn’t take long for us to lose sight of the coast. We passed over countless vessels of all kinds, a few of which were trying to make headway, but most were just floating. We created quite a stir among the people on board all of them—a thrill that we greatly enjoyed, especially our two men, who, having had a drink of Geneva, seemed determined to shed all caution and fear. Many of the vessels fired signal guns; all around, we were greeted with loud cheers (which we could hear distinctly) and the waving of hats and handkerchiefs. We continued like this all day without any significant incidents, and as night fell, we roughly estimated the distance we’d traveled. It couldn't have been less than five hundred miles, and likely much more. The propeller was constantly in motion and undoubtedly aided our progress significantly. As the sun set, the wind escalated into a full-blown hurricane, and we could see the ocean below glowing due to phosphorescence. The wind blew from the East all night, giving us an excellent sign of success. We felt significant cold, and the damp atmosphere was quite uncomfortable, but the spaciousness in the car allowed us to lie down, and with cloaks and a few blankets, we managed well enough.

“P.S. (by Mr. Ainsworth.) The last nine hours have been unquestionably the most exciting of my life. I can conceive nothing more sublimating than the strange peril and novelty of an adventure such as this. May God grant that we succeed! I ask not success for mere safety to my insignificant person, but for the sake of human knowledge and—for the vastness of the triumph. And yet the feat is only so evidently feasible that the sole wonder is why men have scrupled to attempt it before. One single gale such as now befriends us—let such a tempest whirl forward a balloon for four or five days (these gales often last longer) and the voyager will be easily borne, in that period, from coast to coast. In view of such a gale the broad Atlantic becomes a mere lake. I am more struck, just now, with the supreme silence which reigns in the sea beneath us, notwithstanding its agitation, than with any other phenomenon presenting itself. The waters give up no voice to the heavens. The immense flaming ocean writhes and is tortured uncomplainingly. The mountainous surges suggest the idea of innumerable dumb gigantic fiends struggling in impotent agony. In a night such as is this to me, a man lives—lives a whole century of ordinary life—nor would I forego this rapturous delight for that of a whole century of ordinary existence.

“P.S. (by Mr. Ainsworth.) The last nine hours have been undoubtedly the most thrilling of my life. I can’t imagine anything more exhilarating than the strange danger and excitement of an adventure like this. May God help us succeed! I don't seek success just for my own safety, but for the sake of human knowledge and the greatness of the achievement. Yet the task seems so obviously doable that the real mystery is why people haven't tried it before. Just one strong wind like the one we have now—if such a storm pushes a balloon for four or five days (these winds often last longer), the traveler would easily be carried from one coast to another in that time. With such a wind, the vast Atlantic feels like a small lake. Right now, I'm more struck by the complete silence that hangs over the sea beneath us, despite its turbulence, than by any other phenomenon around us. The waters don’t send any sound to the sky. The immense, fiery ocean writhes and suffers in silence. The towering waves suggest the idea of countless mute, gigantic spirits struggling in helpless agony. On a night like this, a person lives—lives a whole century's worth of ordinary life—and I wouldn't trade this rapturous joy for a hundred years of average existence.”

Sunday, the seventh. [Mr. Mason’s MS.] This morning the gale, by 10, had subsided to an eight or nine—knot breeze, (for a vessel at sea,) and bears us, perhaps, thirty miles per hour, or more. It has veered, however, very considerably to the north; and now, at sundown, we are holding our course due west, principally by the screw and rudder, which answer their purposes to admiration. I regard the project as thoroughly successful, and the easy navigation of the air in any direction (not exactly in the teeth of a gale) as no longer problematical. We could not have made head against the strong wind of yesterday; but, by ascending, we might have got out of its influence, if requisite. Against a pretty stiff breeze, I feel convinced, we can make our way with the propeller. At noon, to-day, ascended to an elevation of nearly 25,000 feet, by discharging ballast. Did this to search for a more direct current, but found none so favorable as the one we are now in. We have an abundance of gas to take us across this small pond, even should the voyage last three weeks. I have not the slightest fear for the result. The difficulty has been strangely exaggerated and misapprehended. I can choose my current, and should I find all currents against me, I can make very tolerable headway with the propeller. We have had no incidents worth recording. The night promises fair.

Sunday, the seventh. [Mr. Mason’s notes.] This morning, the strong wind had calmed down to an eight or nine-knot breeze (for a ship at sea) and is now pushing us forward at about thirty miles per hour or more. It's shifted quite a bit to the north; now, at sundown, we’re maintaining our course due west, largely thanks to the screw and rudder, which are performing excellently. I see the project as a complete success, and navigating through the air in any direction (except directly into a strong wind) seems no longer uncertain. We couldn’t have fought through the strong wind from yesterday, but if necessary, we could have ascended to escape its impact. I’m confident we can move forward against a decent breeze with the propeller. At noon today, we climbed to nearly 25,000 feet by releasing ballast. I did this to search for a more favorable current, but didn’t find one better than the one we’re currently in. We have plenty of gas to carry us across this small stretch of water, even if the trip takes three weeks. I have no worries about the outcome. The challenges have been oddly exaggerated and misunderstood. I can select my current, and if I encounter all currents against me, I can still make good progress with the propeller. There have been no notable events to mention. The night looks promising.

P.S. [By Mr. Ainsworth.] I have little to record, except the fact (to me quite a surprising one) that, at an elevation equal to that of Cotopaxi, I experienced neither very intense cold, nor headache, nor difficulty of breathing; neither, I find, did Mr. Mason, nor Mr. Holland, nor Sir Everard. Mr. Osborne complained of constriction of the chest—but this soon wore off. We have flown at a great rate during the day, and we must be more than half way across the Atlantic. We have passed over some twenty or thirty vessels of various kinds, and all seem to be delightfully astonished. Crossing the ocean in a balloon is not so difficult a feat after all. Omne ignotum pro magnifico. Mem: at 25,000 feet elevation the sky appears nearly black, and the stars are distinctly visible; while the sea does not seem convex (as one might suppose) but absolutely and most unequivocally concave.(*1)

P.S. [By Mr. Ainsworth.] I have little to report, except that I was quite surprised to find that, at an altitude equal to that of Cotopaxi, I didn't experience very intense cold, headaches, or breathing difficulties; nor did Mr. Mason, Mr. Holland, or Sir Everard. Mr. Osborne felt some tightness in his chest, but that quickly went away. We've been traveling at a great speed during the day, and we must be more than halfway across the Atlantic. We've seen about twenty or thirty different vessels, and they all seem wonderfully amazed. Crossing the ocean in a balloon isn't such a difficult thing after all. Omne ignotum pro magnifico. Mem: at 25,000 feet, the sky looks almost black, and the stars are clearly visible; while the sea doesn’t appear curved (as one might expect) but is completely and undeniably concave.(*1)

Monday, the 8th. [Mr. Mason’s MS.] This morning we had again some little trouble with the rod of the propeller, which must be entirely remodelled, for fear of serious accident—I mean the steel rod—not the vanes. The latter could not be improved. The wind has been blowing steadily and strongly from the north-east all day and so far fortune seems bent upon favoring us. Just before day, we were all somewhat alarmed at some odd noises and concussions in the balloon, accompanied with the apparent rapid subsidence of the whole machine. These phenomena were occasioned by the expansion of the gas, through increase of heat in the atmosphere, and the consequent disruption of the minute particles of ice with which the network had become encrusted during the night. Threw down several bottles to the vessels below. Saw one of them picked up by a large ship—seemingly one of the New York line packets. Endeavored to make out her name, but could not be sure of it. Mr. Osborne’s telescope made it out something like “Atalanta.” It is now 12, at night, and we are still going nearly west, at a rapid pace. The sea is peculiarly phosphorescent.

Monday, the 8th. [Mr. Mason’s MS.] This morning we had a bit of trouble with the propeller’s rod, which needs to be completely redone to avoid any serious accidents—I’m talking about the steel rod, not the vanes. The vanes can’t be improved. The wind has been blowing steadily and strongly from the northeast all day, and so far, luck seems to be on our side. Just before dawn, we were all a bit alarmed by some strange noises and jolts coming from the balloon, along with the apparent rapid descent of the entire machine. These issues were caused by the expansion of the gas due to the rising temperatures in the atmosphere, which disrupted the tiny ice particles that had formed on the netting overnight. We threw down several bottles to the ships below and saw one of them picked up by a large ship—seemingly one of the New York line packets. I tried to figure out her name but couldn’t be sure. Mr. Osborne’s telescope suggested it looked like “Atalanta.” It’s now midnight, and we are still headed nearly west at a fast pace. The sea has an unusual phosphorescent glow.

“P.S. [By Mr. Ainsworth.] It is now 2, A.M., and nearly calm, as well as I can judge—but it is very difficult to determine this point, since we move with the air so completely. I have not slept since quitting Wheal-Vor, but can stand it no longer, and must take a nap. We cannot be far from the American coast.

“P.S. [By Mr. Ainsworth.] It’s now 2 A.M. and almost calm, as far as I can tell—but it’s really hard to figure that out since we’re moving with the air so completely. I haven’t slept since leaving Wheal-Vor, but I can't take it anymore and need to take a nap. We can’t be far from the American coast.”

Tuesday, the 9th. [Mr. Ainsworth’s MS.] One, P.M. We are in full view of the low coast of South Carolina. The great problem is accomplished. We have crossed the Atlantic—fairly and easily crossed it in a balloon! God be praised! Who shall say that anything is impossible hereafter?”

Tuesday, the 9th. [Mr. Ainsworth’s MS.] One P.M. We can clearly see the low coast of South Carolina. The amazing goal has been achieved. We have crossed the Atlantic—successfully and smoothly crossed it in a balloon! Thank God! Who can say that anything is impossible from now on?”

The Journal here ceases. Some particulars of the descent were communicated, however, by Mr. Ainsworth to Mr. Forsyth. It was nearly dead calm when the voyagers first came in view of the coast, which was immediately recognized by both the seamen, and by Mr. Osborne. The latter gentleman having acquaintances at Fort Moultrie, it was immediately resolved to descend in its vicinity. The balloon was brought over the beach (the tide being out and the sand hard, smooth, and admirably adapted for a descent,) and the grapnel let go, which took firm hold at once. The inhabitants of the island, and of the fort, thronged out, of course, to see the balloon; but it was with the greatest difficulty that any one could be made to credit the actual voyage—the crossing of the Atlantic. The grapnel caught at 2, P.M., precisely; and thus the whole voyage was completed in seventy-five hours; or rather less, counting from shore to shore. No serious accident occurred. No real danger was at any time apprehended. The balloon was exhausted and secured without trouble; and when the MS. from which this narrative is compiled was despatched from Charleston, the party were still at Fort Moultrie. Their farther intentions were not ascertained; but we can safely promise our readers some additional information either on Monday or in the course of the next day, at farthest.

The Journal ends here. However, some details about the descent were shared by Mr. Ainsworth with Mr. Forsyth. It was almost completely calm when the travelers first saw the coast, which both the sailors and Mr. Osborne recognized immediately. Since Mr. Osborne had acquaintances at Fort Moultrie, they quickly decided to land nearby. The balloon was brought over the beach (the tide was out, and the sand was hard, smooth, and perfect for landing), and the grappling hook was dropped, which secured itself right away. The people from the island and the fort naturally came out to see the balloon, but it was very difficult to convince anyone about the actual journey—the crossing of the Atlantic. The grappling hook caught at 2 P.M. exactly; thus, the entire journey took seventy-five hours, or a bit less, from shore to shore. There were no serious accidents, and no real danger was ever anticipated. The balloon was deflated and secured without any issues, and when the manuscript from which this account is written was sent from Charleston, the group was still at Fort Moultrie. Their further plans were unknown, but we can confidently promise our readers more information either on Monday or by the next day at the latest.

This is unquestionably the most stupendous, the most interesting, and the most important undertaking, ever accomplished or even attempted by man. What magnificent events may ensue, it would be useless now to think of determining.

This is definitely the most incredible, the most fascinating, and the most significant project ever carried out or even tried by humans. It would be pointless now to speculate on what amazing events might follow.

(*1) Note.—Mr. Ainsworth has not attempted to account for this phenomenon, which, however, is quite susceptible of explanation. A line dropped from an elevation of 25,000 feet, perpendicularly to the surface of the earth (or sea), would form the perpendicular of a right-angled triangle, of which the base would extend from the right angle to the horizon, and the hypothenuse from the horizon to the balloon. But the 25,000 feet of altitude is little or nothing, in comparison with the extent of the prospect. In other words, the base and hypothenuse of the supposed triangle would be so long when compared with the perpendicular, that the two former may be regarded as nearly parallel. In this manner the horizon of the æronaut would appear to be on a level with the car. But, as the point immediately beneath him seems, and is, at a great distance below him, it seems, of course, also, at a great distance below the horizon. Hence the impression of concavity; and this impression must remain, until the elevation shall bear so great a proportion to the extent of prospect, that the apparent parallelism of the base and hypothenuse disappears—when the earth’s real convexity must become apparent.

(*1) Note.—Mr. Ainsworth has not tried to explain this phenomenon, which can easily be understood. A line dropped from a height of 25,000 feet, straight down to the surface of the earth (or sea), would create the vertical side of a right triangle, where the base stretches from the right angle to the horizon, and the hypotenuse runs from the horizon to the balloon. However, 25,000 feet is minimal compared to the vastness of the view. In other words, the base and hypotenuse of the imagined triangle would be so long compared to the vertical line that they could be seen as nearly parallel. This way, the horizon would appear to be on the same level as the balloon. But since the point directly below him looks, and is, far below, it also appears to be very low compared to the horizon. Thus, the feeling of concavity arises, and this feeling will persist until the height to which one is elevated is large enough compared to the extent of the view that the apparent parallel nature of the base and hypotenuse is lost—at which point the Earth's true curvature will become clear.

MS. FOUND IN A BOTTLE

Qui n’a plus qu’un moment a vivre
N’a plus rien a dissimuler.

Qui n’a plus qu’un moment à vivre
N’a plus rien à dissimuler.

—Quinault—Atys.

—Quinault—Atys.

Of my country and of my family I have little to say. Ill usage and length of years have driven me from the one, and estranged me from the other. Hereditary wealth afforded me an education of no common order, and a contemplative turn of mind enabled me to methodize the stores which early study very diligently garnered up.—Beyond all things, the study of the German moralists gave me great delight; not from any ill-advised admiration of their eloquent madness, but from the ease with which my habits of rigid thought enabled me to detect their falsities. I have often been reproached with the aridity of my genius; a deficiency of imagination has been imputed to me as a crime; and the Pyrrhonism of my opinions has at all times rendered me notorious. Indeed, a strong relish for physical philosophy has, I fear, tinctured my mind with a very common error of this age—I mean the habit of referring occurrences, even the least susceptible of such reference, to the principles of that science. Upon the whole, no person could be less liable than myself to be led away from the severe precincts of truth by the ignes fatui of superstition. I have thought proper to premise thus much, lest the incredible tale I have to tell should be considered rather the raving of a crude imagination, than the positive experience of a mind to which the reveries of fancy have been a dead letter and a nullity.

I don't have much to say about my country or my family. Bad experiences and the passage of timehave pushed me away from the first and distanced me from the second. My family’s wealth provided me with an exceptional education, and my reflective nature helped me organize the knowledge I gained through diligent study. Above all, I truly enjoyed studying German moralists; not because I blindly admired their eloquent craziness, but because my disciplined thinking allowed me to spot their falsehoods easily. I've often been criticized for my dry intellect; people have accused me of lacking imagination as if it were a crime, and my skeptical views have always made me stand out. In fact, I fear that my strong interest in physical philosophy has led me to adopt a common mistake of this age—specifically, the tendency to link even the most trivial events to the principles of that science. Overall, no one is less likely than I am to be misled by the misleading lights of superstition away from the strict boundaries of truth. I thought it was important to clarify this so that the incredible story I’m about to share isn’t mistaken for the ramblings of an unrefined imagination rather than the genuine experience of someone who sees fantasies as irrelevant and meaningless.

After many years spent in foreign travel, I sailed in the year 18— , from the port of Batavia, in the rich and populous island of Java, on a voyage to the Archipelago of the Sunda islands. I went as passenger—having no other inducement than a kind of nervous restlessness which haunted me as a fiend.

After many years of traveling abroad, I set sail in the year 18— from the port of Batavia, on the wealthy and bustling island of Java, heading to the Sunda Islands. I was just a passenger—driven solely by a restless anxiety that felt like a haunting presence.

Our vessel was a beautiful ship of about four hundred tons, copper-fastened, and built at Bombay of Malabar teak. She was freighted with cotton-wool and oil, from the Lachadive islands. We had also on board coir, jaggeree, ghee, cocoa-nuts, and a few cases of opium. The stowage was clumsily done, and the vessel consequently crank.

Our ship was a stunning vessel of about four hundred tons, with copper fastenings, built in Bombay from Malabar teak. It was carrying cotton wool and oil from the Lakshadweep Islands. We also had coir, jaggery, ghee, coconuts, and a few cases of opium on board. The loading was done poorly, which made the ship unstable.

We got under way with a mere breath of wind, and for many days stood along the eastern coast of Java, without any other incident to beguile the monotony of our course than the occasional meeting with some of the small grabs of the Archipelago to which we were bound.

We set off with a light breeze and spent many days along the eastern coast of Java, with nothing to break the monotony of our journey except occasional encounters with some of the small islands of the Archipelago we were heading to.

One evening, leaning over the taffrail, I observed a very singular, isolated cloud, to the N.W. It was remarkable, as well for its color, as from its being the first we had seen since our departure from Batavia. I watched it attentively until sunset, when it spread all at once to the eastward and westward, girting in the horizon with a narrow strip of vapor, and looking like a long line of low beach. My notice was soon afterwards attracted by the dusky-red appearance of the moon, and the peculiar character of the sea. The latter was undergoing a rapid change, and the water seemed more than usually transparent. Although I could distinctly see the bottom, yet, heaving the lead, I found the ship in fifteen fathoms. The air now became intolerably hot, and was loaded with spiral exhalations similar to those arising from heat iron. As night came on, every breath of wind died away, an more entire calm it is impossible to conceive. The flame of a candle burned upon the poop without the least perceptible motion, and a long hair, held between the finger and thumb, hung without the possibility of detecting a vibration. However, as the captain said he could perceive no indication of danger, and as we were drifting in bodily to shore, he ordered the sails to be furled, and the anchor let go. No watch was set, and the crew, consisting principally of Malays, stretched themselves deliberately upon deck. I went below—not without a full presentiment of evil. Indeed, every appearance warranted me in apprehending a Simoom. I told the captain my fears; but he paid no attention to what I said, and left me without deigning to give a reply. My uneasiness, however, prevented me from sleeping, and about midnight I went upon deck. As I placed my foot upon the upper step of the companion-ladder, I was startled by a loud, humming noise, like that occasioned by the rapid revolution of a mill-wheel, and before I could ascertain its meaning, I found the ship quivering to its centre. In the next instant, a wilderness of foam hurled us upon our beam-ends, and, rushing over us fore and aft, swept the entire decks from stem to stern.

One evening, leaning over the railing, I noticed a very unusual, isolated cloud to the northwest. It stood out because of its color and because it was the first one we had seen since leaving Batavia. I kept my eye on it until sunset, when it suddenly spread out to the east and west, wrapping the horizon with a narrow strip of vapor, resembling a long line of low beach. I was soon drawn to the dusky-red appearance of the moon and the strange look of the sea. The sea was changing rapidly, and the water seemed unusually clear. Even though I could clearly see the bottom, when I checked the depth, I found the ship was in fifteen fathoms of water. The air became uncomfortably hot, filled with swirling vapors like those produced by hot iron. As night fell, the wind completely died down; it was a calm like no other. A candle flame burned on the poop without any noticeable movement, and a long hair I held between my fingers stayed completely still. However, since the captain said he saw no signs of danger and we were slowly drifting toward shore, he ordered the sails to be lowered and the anchor dropped. No watch was set, and the crew, mostly Malays, relaxed on the deck. I went below deck, filled with a bad feeling. In fact, everything pointed to the possibility of a Simoom. I shared my concerns with the captain, but he ignored me and walked away without responding. My worries kept me from sleeping, so around midnight, I went back on deck. As I stepped onto the top step of the companion-ladder, a loud humming noise startled me, like the sound of a fast-moving mill-wheel, and before I could understand what it was, I felt the ship shudder violently. In the next moment, a torrent of foam knocked us onto our side and rushed over us from bow to stern, sweeping the decks clean.

The extreme fury of the blast proved, in a great measure, the salvation of the ship. Although completely water-logged, yet, as her masts had gone by the board, she rose, after a minute, heavily from the sea, and, staggering awhile beneath the immense pressure of the tempest, finally righted.

The intense force of the blast was, in large part, what saved the ship. Even though it was completely filled with water, since its masts had been swept away, it rose from the sea after a minute, heavily, and after struggling for a while under the tremendous pressure of the storm, it finally straightened up.

By what miracle I escaped destruction, it is impossible to say. Stunned by the shock of the water, I found myself, upon recovery, jammed in between the stern-post and rudder. With great difficulty I gained my feet, and looking dizzily around, was, at first, struck with the idea of our being among breakers; so terrific, beyond the wildest imagination, was the whirlpool of mountainous and foaming ocean within which we were engulfed. After a while, I heard the voice of an old Swede, who had shipped with us at the moment of our leaving port. I hallooed to him with all my strength, and presently he came reeling aft. We soon discovered that we were the sole survivors of the accident. All on deck, with the exception of ourselves, had been swept overboard;—the captain and mates must have perished as they slept, for the cabins were deluged with water. Without assistance, we could expect to do little for the security of the ship, and our exertions were at first paralyzed by the momentary expectation of going down. Our cable had, of course, parted like pack-thread, at the first breath of the hurricane, or we should have been instantaneously overwhelmed. We scudded with frightful velocity before the sea, and the water made clear breaches over us. The frame-work of our stern was shattered excessively, and, in almost every respect, we had received considerable injury; but to our extreme joy we found the pumps unchoked, and that we had made no great shifting of our ballast. The main fury of the blast had already blown over, and we apprehended little danger from the violence of the wind; but we looked forward to its total cessation with dismay; well believing, that, in our shattered condition, we should inevitably perish in the tremendous swell which would ensue. But this very just apprehension seemed by no means likely to be soon verified. For five entire days and nights—during which our only subsistence was a small quantity of jaggeree, procured with great difficulty from the forecastle—the hulk flew at a rate defying computation, before rapidly succeeding flaws of wind, which, without equalling the first violence of the Simoom, were still more terrific than any tempest I had before encountered. Our course for the first four days was, with trifling variations, S.E. and by S.; and we must have run down the coast of New Holland. On the fifth day the cold became extreme, although the wind had hauled round a point more to the northward. The sun arose with a sickly yellow lustre, and clambered a very few degrees above the horizon—emitting no decisive light. There were no clouds apparent, yet the wind was upon the increase, and blew with a fitful and unsteady fury. About noon, as nearly as we could guess, our attention was again arrested by the appearance of the sun. It gave out no light, properly so called, but a dull and sullen glow without reflection, as if all its rays were polarized. Just before sinking within the turgid sea, its central fires suddenly went out, as if hurriedly extinguished by some unaccountable power. It was a dim, sliver-like rim, alone, as it rushed down the unfathomable ocean.

By some miracle, I escaped destruction, but I can’t say how. When I finally regained my senses after being stunned by the shock of the water, I found myself wedged between the stern-post and the rudder. After a lot of effort, I managed to stand, and as I looked around, I was initially shocked to think we were among breakers; the whirlpool of massive and foaming waves surrounding us was beyond anything I could have imagined. Eventually, I heard the voice of an old Swede who had joined us just as we were leaving port. I yelled for him with all my might, and soon he came staggering towards me. We quickly realized we were the only survivors of the disaster. Everyone else on deck had been swept overboard; the captain and crew must have died in their sleep since the cabins were flooded. Without help, we couldn’t do much to secure the ship, and we were momentarily paralyzed by the constant fear that we would go down. Our cable had obviously snapped like thread at the first gust of the hurricane, or we would have been instantly overwhelmed. We were racing away from the sea at a terrifying speed, with the water crashing over us. Our stern framework was badly damaged, and in many ways, we had sustained significant injuries; however, to our immense relief, we found the pumps were clear and we hadn’t lost much of our ballast. The worst of the storm had blown over, and we feared little from the wind's ferocity; yet we dreaded its complete stop, firmly believing that in our battered state, we would surely perish in the enormous swell that would follow. But this fear didn’t seem likely to come true any time soon. For five whole days and nights—during which our only food was a small amount of jaggeree, which we managed to get from the forecastle with great difficulty—the hulk sped along at an incredible rate before rapidly shifting winds, which, while not as violent as the initial onslaught of the Simoom, were even more frightening than any storm I had experienced before. For the first four days, our course was mostly S.E. and by S.; we must have been running down the coast of New Holland. On the fifth day, the cold became intense, even though the wind had shifted a bit more to the north. The sun rose weakly with a sickly yellow glow, barely climbing above the horizon and giving off no real light. There were no visible clouds, yet the wind picked up, blowing with an unpredictable fury. Around noon, as best we could tell, we were once again drawn to the sight of the sun. It emitted no true light, just a dull and gloomy glow without reflection, as if all its rays were polarized. Just before it disappeared into the choppy sea, its central fires suddenly went out, as if abruptly extinguished by some mysterious force. It was just a faint, silver-like rim as it vanished into the unfathomable ocean.

We waited in vain for the arrival of the sixth day—that day to me has not yet arrived—to the Swede, never did arrive. Thenceforward we were enshrouded in patchy darkness, so that we could not have seen an object at twenty paces from the ship. Eternal night continued to envelop us, all unrelieved by the phosphoric sea-brilliancy to which we had been accustomed in the tropics. We observed too, that, although the tempest continued to rage with unabated violence, there was no longer to be discovered the usual appearance of surf, or foam, which had hitherto attended us. All around were horror, and thick gloom, and a black sweltering desert of ebony. Superstitious terror crept by degrees into the spirit of the old Swede, and my own soul was wrapped up in silent wonder. We neglected all care of the ship, as worse than useless, and securing ourselves, as well as possible, to the stump of the mizen-mast, looked out bitterly into the world of ocean. We had no means of calculating time, nor could we form any guess of our situation. We were, however, well aware of having made farther to the southward than any previous navigators, and felt great amazement at not meeting with the usual impediments of ice. In the meantime every moment threatened to be our last—every mountainous billow hurried to overwhelm us. The swell surpassed anything I had imagined possible, and that we were not instantly buried is a miracle. My companion spoke of the lightness of our cargo, and reminded me of the excellent qualities of our ship; but I could not help feeling the utter hopelessness of hope itself, and prepared myself gloomily for that death which I thought nothing could defer beyond an hour, as, with every knot of way the ship made, the swelling of the black stupendous seas became more dismally appalling. At times we gasped for breath at an elevation beyond the albatross—at times became dizzy with the velocity of our descent into some watery hell, where the air grew stagnant, and no sound disturbed the slumbers of the kraken.

We waited in vain for the arrival of the sixth day—that day, to me, has still not come—and for the Swede, it never did. From that point on, we were shrouded in patchy darkness, unable to see anything even twenty paces from the ship. An eternal night continued to surround us, not brightened by the phosphorescent sea we had come to expect in the tropics. We also noticed that although the storm kept raging with full force, there was no longer any sign of surf or foam that had been with us before. All around us was horror, thick gloom, and a black, stifling desert of darkness. Superstitious fear gradually crept into the old Swede's spirit, and my own soul was wrapped in silent wonder. We stopped caring about the ship, deeming it worse than useless, and secured ourselves as best we could to the stump of the mizen-mast, bitterly gazing out into the vast ocean. We had no way to keep track of time, nor could we guess our situation. However, we were well aware that we had traveled farther south than any previous navigators, and we were amazed that we hadn’t encountered the usual barriers of ice. Meanwhile, every moment threatened to be our last—every towering wave rushed to drown us. The swell was beyond anything I had ever imagined, and the fact that we weren't immediately submerged felt like a miracle. My companion mentioned how light our cargo was and reminded me of our ship's excellent qualities, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of utter hopelessness and prepared myself grimly for death, which I thought nothing could postpone for more than an hour. With every knot the ship sailed, the swelling of the monstrous black seas became more dreadfully overwhelming. At times, we gasped for breath at heights beyond that of an albatross—other times, we felt dizzy as we plunged into some watery abyss where the air grew still and the kraken’s slumber remained undisturbed.

We were at the bottom of one of these abysses, when a quick scream from my companion broke fearfully upon the night. “See! see!” cried he, shrieking in my ears, “Almighty God! see! see!” As he spoke, I became aware of a dull, sullen glare of red light which streamed down the sides of the vast chasm where we lay, and threw a fitful brilliancy upon our deck. Casting my eyes upwards, I beheld a spectacle which froze the current of my blood. At a terrific height directly above us, and upon the very verge of the precipitous descent, hovered a gigantic ship of, perhaps, four thousand tons. Although upreared upon the summit of a wave more than a hundred times her own altitude, her apparent size exceeded that of any ship of the line or East Indiaman in existence. Her huge hull was of a deep dingy black, unrelieved by any of the customary carvings of a ship. A single row of brass cannon protruded from her open ports, and dashed from their polished surfaces the fires of innumerable battle-lanterns, which swung to and fro about her rigging. But what mainly inspired us with horror and astonishment, was that she bore up under a press of sail in the very teeth of that supernatural sea, and of that ungovernable hurricane. When we first discovered her, her bows were alone to be seen, as she rose slowly from the dim and horrible gulf beyond her. For a moment of intense terror she paused upon the giddy pinnacle, as if in contemplation of her own sublimity, then trembled and tottered, and—came down.

We were at the bottom of one of these chasms when a quick scream from my companion shattered the night. “Look! Look!” he yelled in my ear, “Oh my God! Look! Look!” As he spoke, I noticed a dull, gloomy red light streaming down the sides of the vast chasm where we lay, casting an eerie glow on our deck. I looked up and saw something that made my blood run cold. At an incredible height directly above us, right on the edge of the steep drop, hovered a massive ship, maybe four thousand tons. Even though it was perched on top of a wave more than a hundred times its own height, it looked larger than any ship in existence. Its huge hull was a dark, grimy black, without any of the usual carved details of a ship. A single row of brass cannons stuck out from its open ports, reflecting the light of countless battle-lanterns that swung back and forth around its rigging. But what truly filled us with horror and amazement was that it was sailing with full sails despite that unnatural sea and the raging hurricane. When we first spotted it, only its bow was visible as it slowly rose from the dark, horrifying gulf below. It paused for a moment at that dizzying height, as if contemplating its own majesty, then shook and swayed, and—came down.

At this instant, I know not what sudden self-possession came over my spirit. Staggering as far aft as I could, I awaited fearlessly the ruin that was to overwhelm. Our own vessel was at length ceasing from her struggles, and sinking with her head to the sea. The shock of the descending mass struck her, consequently, in that portion of her frame which was already under water, and the inevitable result was to hurl me, with irresistible violence, upon the rigging of the stranger.

At that moment, I don't know what sudden calmness took over me. I staggered as far back as I could and faced the impending disaster without fear. Our own ship was finally stopping its struggles and sinking nose-first into the sea. The impact from the falling mass hit her in the part of the hull that was already submerged, and the unavoidable result was that I was thrown, with unstoppable force, onto the rigging of the other ship.

As I fell, the ship hove in stays, and went about; and to the confusion ensuing I attributed my escape from the notice of the crew. With little difficulty I made my way unperceived to the main hatchway, which was partially open, and soon found an opportunity of secreting myself in the hold. Why I did so I can hardly tell. An indefinite sense of awe, which at first sight of the navigators of the ship had taken hold of my mind, was perhaps the principle of my concealment. I was unwilling to trust myself with a race of people who had offered, to the cursory glance I had taken, so many points of vague novelty, doubt, and apprehension. I therefore thought proper to contrive a hiding-place in the hold. This I did by removing a small portion of the shifting-boards, in such a manner as to afford me a convenient retreat between the huge timbers of the ship.

As I fell, the ship changed direction and turned around; I thought my escape from the crew’s notice was due to the confusion that followed. With little trouble, I quietly made my way to the main hatchway, which was partly open, and soon found a chance to hide myself in the hold. I can hardly explain why I did this. An overwhelming feeling of awe, which had taken hold of me when I first saw the ship's crew, was probably the main reason for my hiding. I wasn't ready to trust myself around a group of people who, from my brief observation, seemed so unfamiliar and made me feel uncertain and anxious. So, I figured it would be best to create a hiding spot in the hold. I did this by removing a small part of the shifting boards to give myself a comfortable place to retreat between the massive timbers of the ship.

I had scarcely completed my work, when a footstep in the hold forced me to make use of it. A man passed by my place of concealment with a feeble and unsteady gait. I could not see his face, but had an opportunity of observing his general appearance. There was about it an evidence of great age and infirmity. His knees tottered beneath a load of years, and his entire frame quivered under the burthen. He muttered to himself, in a low broken tone, some words of a language which I could not understand, and groped in a corner among a pile of singular-looking instruments, and decayed charts of navigation. His manner was a wild mixture of the peevishness of second childhood, and the solemn dignity of a God. He at length went on deck, and I saw him no more.

I had just finished my work when I heard footsteps in the hold that made me use it. A man walked by my hiding spot with a weak and unsteady gait. I couldn’t see his face, but I could observe his general appearance. He showed signs of great age and frailty. His knees wobbled under the weight of years, and his whole body shook under the burden. He muttered to himself in a low, broken voice, using words from a language I didn’t understand, while rummaging in a corner among a pile of strange-looking tools and old navigation charts. His behavior was a wild mix of the irritability of old age and the serious dignity of a deity. Eventually, he went up to the deck, and I never saw him again.


A feeling, for which I have no name, has taken possession of my soul —a sensation which will admit of no analysis, to which the lessons of bygone times are inadequate, and for which I fear futurity itself will offer me no key. To a mind constituted like my own, the latter consideration is an evil. I shall never—I know that I shall never—be satisfied with regard to the nature of my conceptions. Yet it is not wonderful that these conceptions are indefinite, since they have their origin in sources so utterly novel. A new sense—a new entity is added to my soul.

A feeling that I can't even name has taken over my soul—a sensation that can't be analyzed, one that the lessons of the past can't explain, and for which I worry that the future will also have no answers. For someone with a mind like mine, this uncertainty is a real problem. I know that I will never be satisfied with understanding the nature of my thoughts. But it's not surprising that these thoughts are unclear, since they come from completely new sources. A new sense—a new part of my being—is being added to my soul.


It is long since I first trod the deck of this terrible ship, and the rays of my destiny are, I think, gathering to a focus. Incomprehensible men! Wrapped up in meditations of a kind which I cannot divine, they pass me by unnoticed. Concealment is utter folly on my part, for the people will not see. It was but just now that I passed directly before the eyes of the mate; it was no long while ago that I ventured into the captain’s own private cabin, and took thence the materials with which I write, and have written. I shall from time to time continue this journal. It is true that I may not find an opportunity of transmitting it to the world, but I will not fall to make the endeavour. At the last moment I will enclose the MS. in a bottle, and cast it within the sea.

It’s been a long time since I first walked on the deck of this awful ship, and I feel like the signs of my fate are coming together. Incomprehensible people! Lost in thoughts that I can’t understand, they walk past me without noticing. Hiding is completely pointless on my part, since no one will see me. Just now, I walked right in front of the mate, and not long ago, I went into the captain’s private cabin and took the materials I'm using to write this. I’ll keep updating this journal from time to time. It’s true that I might not find a way to share it with the world, but I won’t stop trying. In the end, I’ll put the manuscript in a bottle and throw it into the sea.


An incident has occurred which has given me new room for meditation. Are such things the operation of ungoverned chance? I had ventured upon deck and thrown myself down, without attracting any notice, among a pile of ratlin-stuff and old sails in the bottom of the yawl. While musing upon the singularity of my fate, I unwittingly daubed with a tar-brush the edges of a neatly-folded studding-sail which lay near me on a barrel. The studding-sail is now bent upon the ship, and the thoughtless touches of the brush are spread out into the word DISCOVERY.

An event has happened that has given me new space for reflection. Are these things just random chance? I went up on deck and lay down, unnoticed, among a pile of ropes and old sails at the bottom of the boat. While contemplating the uniqueness of my situation, I accidentally smeared a tar brush on the edges of a neatly folded sail that was resting on a barrel next to me. The sail is now attached to the ship, and the careless strokes of the brush have formed the word DISCOVERY.

I have made many observations lately upon the structure of the vessel. Although well armed, she is not, I think, a ship of war. Her rigging, build, and general equipment, all negative a supposition of this kind. What she is not, I can easily perceive—what she is I fear it is impossible to say. I know not how it is, but in scrutinizing her strange model and singular cast of spars, her huge size and overgrown suits of canvas, her severely simple bow and antiquated stern, there will occasionally flash across my mind a sensation of familiar things, and there is always mixed up with such indistinct shadows of recollection, an unaccountable memory of old foreign chronicles and ages long ago.

I’ve noticed a lot lately about the structure of the vessel. Even though she’s well armed, I don’t think she’s a warship. Her rigging, build, and overall equipment suggest otherwise. I can easily tell what she isn’t, but what she actually is feels impossible to determine. I can’t explain it, but as I look closely at her unusual design and unique arrangement of spars, her massive size and bulky canvas, her sharply simple bow and outdated stern, I sometimes get a fleeting sensation of familiarity. There’s always a blend of these vague feelings with an inexplicable memory of old foreign stories and ages long gone.


I have been looking at the timbers of the ship. She is built of a material to which I am a stranger. There is a peculiar character about the wood which strikes me as rendering it unfit for the purpose to which it has been applied. I mean its extreme porousness, considered independently by the worm-eaten condition which is a consequence of navigation in these seas, and apart from the rottenness attendant upon age. It will appear perhaps an observation somewhat over-curious, but this wood would have every characteristic of Spanish oak, if Spanish oak were distended by any unnatural means.

I’ve been examining the wood of the ship. It's made from a material I'm not familiar with. There's something unusual about the wood that makes me think it's not suitable for its intended use. I'm referring to its extreme porosity, separate from the worm-eaten damage caused by sailing these waters, and distinct from the decay that comes with age. It might seem like a rather detailed observation, but this wood has every trait of Spanish oak, as if Spanish oak has been unnaturally stretched.

In reading the above sentence a curious apothegm of an old weather-beaten Dutch navigator comes full upon my recollection. “It is as sure,” he was wont to say, when any doubt was entertained of his veracity, “as sure as there is a sea where the ship itself will grow in bulk like the living body of the seaman.”

In reading the above sentence, I can’t help but remember a quirky saying from an old, weathered Dutch navigator. “It's as certain,” he used to say whenever someone questioned his honesty, “as certain as there’s a sea where the ship itself will swell in size like the living body of the sailor.”


About an hour ago, I made bold to thrust myself among a group of the crew. They paid me no manner of attention, and, although I stood in the very midst of them all, seemed utterly unconscious of my presence. Like the one I had at first seen in the hold, they all bore about them the marks of a hoary old age. Their knees trembled with infirmity; their shoulders were bent double with decrepitude; their shrivelled skins rattled in the wind; their voices were low, tremulous and broken; their eyes glistened with the rheum of years; and their gray hairs streamed terribly in the tempest. Around them, on every part of the deck, lay scattered mathematical instruments of the most quaint and obsolete construction.

About an hour ago, I boldly joined a group of the crew. They didn’t pay me any attention, and even though I was right in the middle of them, they seemed completely unaware of my presence. Like the one I had first seen in the hold, they all showed the signs of old age. Their knees shook with weakness; their shoulders were hunched with frailty; their shriveled skin flapped in the wind; their voices were quiet, shaky, and fragmented; their eyes sparkled with the discharge of age; and their gray hair whipped around wildly in the storm. Scattered all over the deck were various old-fashioned and unusual mathematical instruments.


I mentioned some time ago the bending of a studding-sail. From that period the ship, being thrown dead off the wind, has continued her terrific course due south, with every rag of canvas packed upon her, from her trucks to her lower studding-sail booms, and rolling every moment her top-gallant yard-arms into the most appalling hell of water which it can enter into the mind of a man to imagine. I have just left the deck, where I find it impossible to maintain a footing, although the crew seem to experience little inconvenience. It appears to me a miracle of miracles that our enormous bulk is not swallowed up at once and forever. We are surely doomed to hover continually upon the brink of eternity, without taking a final plunge into the abyss. From billows a thousand times more stupendous than any I have ever seen, we glide away with the facility of the arrowy sea-gull; and the colossal waters rear their heads above us like demons of the deep, but like demons confined to simple threats and forbidden to destroy. I am led to attribute these frequent escapes to the only natural cause which can account for such effect. I must suppose the ship to be within the influence of some strong current, or impetuous under-tow.

I mentioned a while ago that a studding-sail was bent. Since then, the ship, being pushed directly off the wind, has continued its wild journey straight south, with every piece of sail up, from the top to the lower studding-sail booms, rolling continuously into the most terrifying waves imaginable. I just left the deck, where it's nearly impossible to keep my balance, although the crew seems to handle it fine. It feels like a miracle that our massive ship isn't swallowed up instantly. We are definitely stuck hovering on the edge of disaster without actually falling into the depths. We glide through waves a thousand times bigger than any I’ve ever seen, with the ease of a swift sea gull, while the towering waters rise above us like angry demons, but they’re only able to threaten us, not destroy us. I think these close calls can only be explained by some strong current or fierce undertow affecting the ship.


I have seen the captain face to face, and in his own cabin—but, as I expected, he paid me no attention. Although in his appearance there is, to a casual observer, nothing which might bespeak him more or less than man, still, a feeling of irrepressible reverence and awe mingled with the sensation of wonder with which I regarded him. In stature he is nearly my own height; that is, about five feet eight inches. He is of a well-knit and compact frame of body, neither robust nor remarkably otherwise. But it is the singularity of the expression which reigns upon the face—it is the intense, the wonderful, the thrilling evidence of old age, so utter, so extreme, which excites within my spirit a sense—a sentiment ineffable. His forehead, although little wrinkled, seems to bear upon it the stamp of a myriad of years. His gray hairs are records of the past, and his grayer eyes are sibyls of the future. The cabin floor was thickly strewn with strange, iron-clasped folios, and mouldering instruments of science, and obsolete long-forgotten charts. His head was bowed down upon his hands, and he pored, with a fiery unquiet eye, over a paper which I took to be a commission, and which, at all events, bore the signature of a monarch. He muttered to himself, as did the first seaman whom I saw in the hold, some low peevish syllables of a foreign tongue, and although the speaker was close at my elbow, his voice seemed to reach my ears from the distance of a mile.

I’ve met the captain face to face, in his own cabin—but, as I expected, he ignored me. To a casual observer, there’s nothing in his appearance that sets him apart from any other man, yet a strong sense of reverence and awe mixed with wonder filled me as I looked at him. He’s about my height, almost five feet eight inches tall, with a solid and compact build—neither overly strong nor particularly weak. However, it's the unique expression on his face that really captivates—it’s an intense, extraordinary, and thrilling sign of old age that stirs something indescribable within me. His forehead, though not heavily wrinkled, seems to carry the weight of countless years. His gray hair tells stories of the past, while his grayer eyes hint at the future. The floor of the cabin was cluttered with strange, iron-clasped books, decaying scientific instruments, and outdated, forgotten maps. He sat with his head bowed over his hands, intensely focused on a document that I assumed was a commission, which, in any case, had the signature of a monarch. He muttered to himself, just like the first sailor I’d seen in the hold, some low, annoyed words in a foreign language. Even though he was right next to me, his voice felt like it was coming from a mile away.


The ship and all in it are imbued with the spirit of Eld. The crew glide to and fro like the ghosts of buried centuries; their eyes have an eager and uneasy meaning; and when their fingers fall athwart my path in the wild glare of the battle-lanterns, I feel as I have never felt before, although I have been all my life a dealer in antiquities, and have imbibed the shadows of fallen columns at Balbec, and Tadmor, and Persepolis, until my very soul has become a ruin.

The ship and everyone on it are filled with the spirit of Eld. The crew moves back and forth like the ghosts of long-lost ages; their eyes have a mix of eagerness and unease; and when their fingers brush against my path in the harsh light of the battle lanterns, I feel a sensation I've never experienced before, even though I've spent my entire life dealing in antiques and have soaked in the echoes of crumbling columns at Balbec, Tadmor, and Persepolis, until my very soul feels like a ruin.


When I look around me I feel ashamed of my former apprehensions. If I trembled at the blast which has hitherto attended us, shall I not stand aghast at a warring of wind and ocean, to convey any idea of which the words tornado and simoom are trivial and ineffective? All in the immediate vicinity of the ship is the blackness of eternal night, and a chaos of foamless water; but, about a league on either side of us, may be seen, indistinctly and at intervals, stupendous ramparts of ice, towering away into the desolate sky, and looking like the walls of the universe.

When I look around me, I feel embarrassed about my past fears. If I flinched at the storm we’ve faced so far, how can I not be terrified by the battle of wind and sea, for which the words tornado and simoom seem so weak and inadequate? All around the ship is the darkness of endless night and a mess of calm water; however, about a mile on either side of us, I can faintly see, at intervals, massive ice walls, rising high into the bleak sky and resembling the barriers of the universe.


As I imagined, the ship proves to be in a current—if that appellation can properly be given to a tide which, howling and shrieking by the white ice, thunders on to the southward with a velocity like the headlong dashing of a cataract.

As I expected, the ship is caught in a current—if that term can really be used for a tide that, howling and shrieking past the white ice, rushes southward with a speed like a crashing waterfall.


To conceive the horror of my sensations is, I presume, utterly impossible; yet a curiosity to penetrate the mysteries of these awful regions, predominates even over my despair, and will reconcile me to the most hideous aspect of death. It is evident that we are hurrying onwards to some exciting knowledge—some never-to-be-imparted secret, whose attainment is destruction. Perhaps this current leads us to the southern pole itself. It must be confessed that a supposition apparently so wild has every probability in its favor.

Imagining the horror of my feelings is, I guess, completely impossible; yet my curiosity to understand the mysteries of these terrifying places outweighs even my despair, and I'll come to terms with the most horrifying aspect of death. It's clear that we're rushing toward some thrilling knowledge—some secret that can never be shared, and reaching it means destruction. Maybe this path takes us to the southern pole itself. I have to admit that a theory that seems so far-fetched actually has a lot of likelihood to it.


The crew pace the deck with unquiet and tremulous step; but there is upon their countenances an expression more of the eagerness of hope than of the apathy of despair.

The crew walks around the deck with restless and shaky steps; however, their faces show more of an eager hope than a hopeless apathy.

In the meantime the wind is still in our poop, and, as we carry a crowd of canvas, the ship is at times lifted bodily from out the sea! Oh, horror upon horror!—the ice opens suddenly to the right, and to the left, and we are whirling dizzily, in immense concentric circles, round and round the borders of a gigantic amphitheatre, the summit of whose walls is lost in the darkness and the distance. But little time will be left me to ponder upon my destiny! The circles rapidly grow small—we are plunging madly within the grasp of the whirlpool—and amid a roaring, and bellowing, and thundering of ocean and of tempest, the ship is quivering—oh God! and—going down.

In the meantime, the wind is still at our back, and with so much canvas up, the ship is sometimes lifted completely out of the sea! Oh, what a horror! The ice suddenly cracks open to the right and the left, and we’re spinning dizzily in huge concentric circles around the edges of a massive amphitheater, the top of whose walls disappears into darkness and distance. I won’t have much time to think about my fate! The circles are getting smaller quickly—we're diving frantically into the whirlpool's grip—and amid the roaring, bellowing, and thundering of the ocean and the storm, the ship is shuddering—oh God! and—going down.

NOTE.—The “MS. Found in a Bottle,” was originally published in 1831, and it was not until many years afterwards that I became acquainted with the maps of Mercator, in which the ocean is represented as rushing, by four mouths, into the (northern) Polar Gulf, to be absorbed into the bowels of the earth; the Pole itself being represented by a black rock, towering to a prodigious height.

NOTE.—The “MS. Found in a Bottle” was originally published in 1831, and it wasn't until many years later that I discovered Mercator's maps, which show the ocean flowing into the (northern) Polar Gulf through four outlets, to be taken into the depths of the earth; the Pole itself is depicted as a towering black rock of incredible height.

THE OVAL PORTRAIT

The château into which my valet had ventured to make forcible entrance, rather than permit me, in my desperately wounded condition, to pass a night in the open air, was one of those piles of commingled gloom and grandeur which have so long frowned among the Appennines, not less in fact than in the fancy of Mrs. Radcliffe. To all appearance it had been temporarily and very lately abandoned. We established ourselves in one of the smallest and least sumptuously furnished apartments. It lay in a remote turret of the building. Its decorations were rich, yet tattered and antique. Its walls were hung with tapestry and bedecked with manifold and multiform armorial trophies, together with an unusually great number of very spirited modern paintings in frames of rich golden arabesque. In these paintings, which depended from the walls not only in their main surfaces, but in very many nooks which the bizarre architecture of the château rendered necessary—in these paintings my incipient delirium, perhaps, had caused me to take deep interest; so that I bade Pedro to close the heavy shutters of the room—since it was already night—to light the tongues of a tall candelabrum which stood by the head of my bed, and to throw open far and wide the fringed curtains of black velvet which enveloped the bed itself. I wished all this done that I might resign myself, if not to sleep, at least alternately to the contemplation of these pictures, and the perusal of a small volume which had been found upon the pillow, and which purported to criticise and describe them.

The château where my servant had boldly broken in, rather than let me, in my severely injured state, spend the night outside, was one of those big, gloomy yet grand buildings that have long towered over the Appennines, just as much in reality as in Mrs. Radcliffe's imagination. From what I could see, it had been temporarily and very recently abandoned. We settled into one of the smallest and least luxuriously furnished rooms. It was located in a distant turret of the building. Its décor was rich but worn and old-fashioned. The walls were draped with tapestry and adorned with various armorial trophies, along with a surprisingly large number of lively modern paintings framed in ornate gold. In these paintings, which hung from the walls not just on the main surfaces but in many nooks created by the château's quirky architecture, my early delirium might have made me particularly interested; so I instructed Pedro to shut the heavy shutters of the room, since it was already night, to light the candles of a tall candelabrum beside my bed, and to open wide the fringed black velvet curtains that surrounded the bed itself. I wanted all this done so that I could either sleep or at least alternately reflect on these pictures and read a small book that had been found on the pillow, which claimed to critique and describe them.

Long, long I read—and devoutly, devotedly I gazed. Rapidly and gloriously the hours flew by and the deep midnight came. The position of the candelabrum displeased me, and outreaching my hand with difficulty, rather than disturb my slumbering valet, I placed it so as to throw its rays more fully upon the book.

For a long time, I read—and I stared intently and with great devotion. The hours rushed by quickly and wonderfully, and soon it was deep into the night. The way the candelabrum was positioned bothered me, and trying not to wake my sleeping valet, I reached out and adjusted it to shine its light better on the book.

But the action produced an effect altogether unanticipated. The rays of the numerous candles (for there were many) now fell within a niche of the room which had hitherto been thrown into deep shade by one of the bed-posts. I thus saw in vivid light a picture all unnoticed before. It was the portrait of a young girl just ripening into womanhood. I glanced at the painting hurriedly, and then closed my eyes. Why I did this was not at first apparent even to my own perception. But while my lids remained thus shut, I ran over in my mind my reason for so shutting them. It was an impulsive movement to gain time for thought—to make sure that my vision had not deceived me—to calm and subdue my fancy for a more sober and more certain gaze. In a very few moments I again looked fixedly at the painting.

But the action had an entirely unexpected effect. The light from the many candles now illuminated a corner of the room that had previously been cast into deep shadow by one of the bedposts. I suddenly saw in vivid light a picture that I hadn’t noticed before. It was a portrait of a young girl just coming into womanhood. I glanced at the painting quickly, then closed my eyes. I wasn’t sure why I did that at first. But while my eyes were shut, I reflected on my reason for doing it. It was an impulsive move to buy myself some time to think—to make sure my vision hadn’t tricked me—to calm my imagination for a clearer and more certain look. A moment later, I looked intently at the painting again.

That I now saw aright I could not and would not doubt; for the first flashing of the candles upon that canvas had seemed to dissipate the dreamy stupor which was stealing over my senses, and to startle me at once into waking life.

I now had no doubt that I was seeing things clearly; the first flicker of the candles on that canvas seemed to break the dreamy haze that was creeping over my senses and snapped me back into reality.

The portrait, I have already said, was that of a young girl. It was a mere head and shoulders, done in what is technically termed a vignette manner; much in the style of the favorite heads of Sully. The arms, the bosom, and even the ends of the radiant hair melted imperceptibly into the vague yet deep shadow which formed the back-ground of the whole. The frame was oval, richly gilded and filigreed in Moresque. As a thing of art nothing could be more admirable than the painting itself. But it could have been neither the execution of the work, nor the immortal beauty of the countenance, which had so suddenly and so vehemently moved me. Least of all, could it have been that my fancy, shaken from its half slumber, had mistaken the head for that of a living person. I saw at once that the peculiarities of the design, of the vignetting, and of the frame, must have instantly dispelled such idea—must have prevented even its momentary entertainment. Thinking earnestly upon these points, I remained, for an hour perhaps, half sitting, half reclining, with my vision riveted upon the portrait. At length, satisfied with the true secret of its effect, I fell back within the bed. I had found the spell of the picture in an absolute life-likeliness of expression, which, at first startling, finally confounded, subdued, and appalled me. With deep and reverent awe I replaced the candelabrum in its former position. The cause of my deep agitation being thus shut from view, I sought eagerly the volume which discussed the paintings and their histories. Turning to the number which designated the oval portrait, I there read the vague and quaint words which follow:

The portrait, as I mentioned before, was of a young girl. It showed just her head and shoulders, created in what’s known as a vignette style; very similar to the popular portraits by Sully. The arms, chest, and even the tips of her glowing hair faded seamlessly into the indistinct yet deep shadow that formed the backdrop of the entire piece. The frame was oval, richly gilded, and intricately designed in a Moresque style. As a work of art, the painting itself was truly remarkable. But it wasn’t the quality of the artwork or the timeless beauty of the face that had so unexpectedly and intensely moved me. It definitely wasn’t that my imagination, stirred from its half-sleep, had mistaken the head for that of a real person. I realized right away that the unique qualities of the design, the vignette style, and the frame must have quickly dispelled that notion—must have prevented even a momentary thought of it. As I seriously contemplated these aspects, I remained, maybe for an hour, half sitting and half reclining, my gaze fixed on the portrait. Finally, having grasped the true secret behind its impact, I lay back on the bed. I discovered that the power of the image lay in its astonishing lifelike expression, which at first shocked me, then ultimately confused, overwhelmed, and terrified me. With deep and respectful awe, I returned the candelabrum to its original spot. With the source of my intense agitation now out of sight, I eagerly searched for the book that covered the paintings and their histories. Flipping to the section about the oval portrait, I read the vague and curious words that followed:

“She was a maiden of rarest beauty, and not more lovely than full of glee. And evil was the hour when she saw, and loved, and wedded the painter. He, passionate, studious, austere, and having already a bride in his Art; she a maiden of rarest beauty, and not more lovely than full of glee; all light and smiles, and frolicsome as the young fawn; loving and cherishing all things; hating only the Art which was her rival; dreading only the pallet and brushes and other untoward instruments which deprived her of the countenance of her lover. It was thus a terrible thing for this lady to hear the painter speak of his desire to portray even his young bride. But she was humble and obedient, and sat meekly for many weeks in the dark, high turret-chamber where the light dripped upon the pale canvas only from overhead. But he, the painter, took glory in his work, which went on from hour to hour, and from day to day. And he was a passionate, and wild, and moody man, who became lost in reveries; so that he would not see that the light which fell so ghastly in that lone turret withered the health and the spirits of his bride, who pined visibly to all but him. Yet she smiled on and still on, uncomplainingly, because she saw that the painter (who had high renown) took a fervid and burning pleasure in his task, and wrought day and night to depict her who so loved him, yet who grew daily more dispirited and weak. And in sooth some who beheld the portrait spoke of its resemblance in low words, as of a mighty marvel, and a proof not less of the power of the painter than of his deep love for her whom he depicted so surpassingly well. But at length, as the labor drew nearer to its conclusion, there were admitted none into the turret; for the painter had grown wild with the ardor of his work, and turned his eyes from canvas merely, even to regard the countenance of his wife. And he would not see that the tints which he spread upon the canvas were drawn from the cheeks of her who sate beside him. And when many weeks had passed, and but little remained to do, save one brush upon the mouth and one tint upon the eye, the spirit of the lady again flickered up as the flame within the socket of the lamp. And then the brush was given, and then the tint was placed; and, for one moment, the painter stood entranced before the work which he had wrought; but in the next, while he yet gazed, he grew tremulous and very pallid, and aghast, and crying with a loud voice, ‘This is indeed Life itself!’ turned suddenly to regard his beloved:—She was dead!”

“She was a girl of extraordinary beauty, and not only lovely but full of joy. And it was a terrible moment when she saw, loved, and married the painter. He, passionate, focused, serious, and already married to his Art; she a girl of extraordinary beauty, and not only lovely but full of joy; all light and laughter, playful like a young fawn; loving and cherishing everything; hating only the Art that was her rival; fearing only the palette and brushes and other harsh tools that stole away her lover’s attention. It was incredibly hard for this lady to hear the painter talk about his desire to paint even his young bride. But she was humble and obedient, and sat patiently for many weeks in the dark, high turret room where the light fell on the pale canvas only from above. But he, the painter, found joy in his work, which continued hour after hour and day after day. He was a passionate, wild, and moody man, who became lost in his thoughts; he didn’t see that the light that fell so harshly in that lonely turret drained the health and spirit of his bride, who grew visibly weaker to everyone but him. Yet she continued to smile, uncomplaining, because she saw that the painter (who was well-respected) took intense pleasure in his task, working day and night to capture the image of the woman who loved him, yet who became more dispirited and weak each day. And indeed, some who saw the portrait whispered about its likeness, calling it a remarkable feat, a testament not only to the painter’s skill but also to his deep love for her, whom he portrayed so beautifully. But eventually, as the work neared completion, no one was allowed into the turret; the painter had become so consumed by his work that he turned his gaze from the canvas, oblivious even to the face of his wife. He couldn’t see that the colors he applied to the canvas were drawn from the cheeks of the woman beside him. And when many weeks had passed, with only a few touches left to do, just a brush on the mouth and a shade on the eye, the lady’s spirit flickered back to life, like a flame in a lamp. Then the brush was applied, and then the shade was added; and for one moment, the painter stood captivated by the work he had created; but in the next, as he continued to gaze, he grew shaky and very pale, horrified, and cried out, ‘This is truly Life itself!’ and turned suddenly to look at his beloved:—She was dead!”

VOLUME 2.

[Redactor’s Note—Some endnotes are by Poe and some were added by Griswold. In this volume the notes are at the end.]

[Redactor’s Note—Some endnotes are by Poe and some were added by Griswold. In this volume, the notes are at the end.]

THE PURLOINED LETTER

Nil sapientiæ odiosius acumine nimio.—Seneca.

No one hates wisdom more than excessive cleverness.—Seneca.

At Paris, just after dark one gusty evening in the autumn of 18-, I was enjoying the twofold luxury of meditation and a meerschaum, in company with my friend C. Auguste Dupin, in his little back library, or book-closet, au troisième, No. 33, Rue Dunôt, Faubourg St. Germain. For one hour at least we had maintained a profound silence; while each, to any casual observer, might have seemed intently and exclusively occupied with the curling eddies of smoke that oppressed the atmosphere of the chamber. For myself, however, I was mentally discussing certain topics which had formed matter for conversation between us at an earlier period of the evening; I mean the affair of the Rue Morgue, and the mystery attending the murder of Marie Rogêt. I looked upon it, therefore, as something of a coincidence, when the door of our apartment was thrown open and admitted our old acquaintance, Monsieur G——, the Prefect of the Parisian police.

In Paris, just after dark on a windy autumn evening in the late 1800s, I was enjoying the dual pleasures of reflection and a meerschaum pipe, alongside my friend C. Auguste Dupin, in his small back library or book nook, au troisième, No. 33, Rue Dunôt, Faubourg St. Germain. We had maintained a deep silence for at least an hour, and to anyone watching, we might have seemed completely focused on the swirling smoke that filled the room. However, I was actually mentally going over some topics we had discussed earlier that night, particularly the case of the Rue Morgue and the mystery surrounding the murder of Marie Rogêt. So, I considered it a bit of a coincidence when our door suddenly opened and our old friend, Monsieur G——, the Prefect of the Parisian police, walked in.

We gave him a hearty welcome; for there was nearly half as much of the entertaining as of the contemptible about the man, and we had not seen him for several years. We had been sitting in the dark, and Dupin now arose for the purpose of lighting a lamp, but sat down again, without doing so, upon G.‘s saying that he had called to consult us, or rather to ask the opinion of my friend, about some official business which had occasioned a great deal of trouble.

We gave him a warm welcome; there was almost as much to entertain us as there was to look down on him, and we hadn’t seen him in years. We had been sitting in the dark, and Dupin stood up to turn on a lamp, but he sat back down without doing it when G. said he had come to consult us, or rather to get my friend's opinion on some official matters that had caused a lot of trouble.

“If it is any point requiring reflection,” observed Dupin, as he forebore to enkindle the wick, “we shall examine it to better purpose in the dark.”

“If there's something that needs thinking over,” Dupin said, holding back from lighting the wick, “we'll look at it more effectively in the dark.”

“That is another of your odd notions,” said the Prefect, who had a fashion of calling every thing “odd” that was beyond his comprehension, and thus lived amid an absolute legion of “oddities.”

"That's just another one of your strange ideas," said the Prefect, who had a habit of calling everything "strange" that he didn't understand, and so he lived surrounded by a total bunch of "strangeness."

“Very true,” said Dupin, as he supplied his visitor with a pipe, and rolled towards him a comfortable chair.

“Very true,” Dupin said as he handed his visitor a pipe and rolled a comfortable chair over to him.

“And what is the difficulty now?” I asked. “Nothing more in the assassination way, I hope?”

“And what's the issue now?” I asked. “Nothing more related to the assassination, I hope?”

“Oh no; nothing of that nature. The fact is, the business is very simple indeed, and I make no doubt that we can manage it sufficiently well ourselves; but then I thought Dupin would like to hear the details of it, because it is so excessively odd.”

“Oh no, nothing like that. The truth is, the situation is quite simple, and I’m sure we can handle it just fine on our own. But I thought Dupin might want to hear the details since it’s so incredibly strange.”

“Simple and odd,” said Dupin.

"Simple and strange," said Dupin.

“Why, yes; and not exactly that, either. The fact is, we have all been a good deal puzzled because the affair is so simple, and yet baffles us altogether.”

“Yeah, and not exactly that, either. The truth is, we’ve all been pretty puzzled because the situation is so simple, yet it completely confuses us.”

“Perhaps it is the very simplicity of the thing which puts you at fault,” said my friend.

“Maybe it’s the simplicity of the thing that’s causing you to be mistaken,” my friend said.

“What nonsense you do talk!” replied the Prefect, laughing heartily.

“What nonsense you talk!” replied the Prefect, laughing heartily.

“Perhaps the mystery is a little too plain,” said Dupin.

“Maybe the mystery is a bit too obvious,” said Dupin.

“Oh, good heavens! who ever heard of such an idea?”

“Oh my gosh! Who has ever heard of such an idea?”

“A little too self-evident.”

"Kind of obvious."

“Ha! ha! ha—ha! ha! ha!—ho! ho! ho!” roared our visitor, profoundly amused, “oh, Dupin, you will be the death of me yet!”

“Ha! ha! ha—ha! ha! ha!—ho! ho! ho!” our visitor laughed loudly, clearly entertained, “oh, Dupin, you’re going to be the end of me!”

“And what, after all, is the matter on hand?” I asked.

“And what’s the issue at hand?” I asked.

“Why, I will tell you,” replied the Prefect, as he gave a long, steady and contemplative puff, and settled himself in his chair. “I will tell you in a few words; but, before I begin, let me caution you that this is an affair demanding the greatest secrecy, and that I should most probably lose the position I now hold, were it known that I confided it to any one.”

“Let me explain,” replied the Prefect, taking a long, thoughtful puff and getting comfortable in his chair. “I’ll keep it brief, but before I start, I need to warn you that this is a matter that requires strict confidentiality, and I would likely lose my current position if it got out that I shared this with anyone.”

“Proceed,” said I.

"Go ahead," I said.

“Or not,” said Dupin.

“Or not,” Dupin said.

“Well, then; I have received personal information, from a very high quarter, that a certain document of the last importance has been purloined from the royal apartments. The individual who purloined it is known; this beyond a doubt; he was seen to take it. It is known, also, that it still remains in his possession.”

“Well, I’ve received information from a very high source that a highly important document has been stolen from the royal apartments. The person who took it is definitely known; he was seen doing it. It's also known that he still has it.”

“How is this known?” asked Dupin.

“How do you know this?” asked Dupin.

“It is clearly inferred,” replied the Prefect, “from the nature of the document, and from the non-appearance of certain results which would at once arise from its passing out of the robber’s possession; that is to say, from his employing it as he must design in the end to employ it.”

“It’s obvious,” replied the Prefect, “from the type of document and from the absence of certain outcomes that would immediately result from it being out of the robber’s hands; specifically, from how he intends to use it in the end.”

“Be a little more explicit,” I said.

“Can you be a bit more specific?” I said.

“Well, I may venture so far as to say that the paper gives its holder a certain power in a certain quarter where such power is immensely valuable.” The Prefect was fond of the cant of diplomacy.

“Well, I might go so far as to say that the paper gives its holder a certain influence in a certain area where that influence is extremely valuable.” The Prefect was fond of the language of diplomacy.

“Still I do not quite understand,” said Dupin.

“Still, I don’t quite understand,” Dupin said.

“No? Well; the disclosure of the document to a third person, who shall be nameless, would bring in question the honor of a personage of most exalted station; and this fact gives the holder of the document an ascendancy over the illustrious personage whose honor and peace are so jeopardized.”

“No? Well, sharing the document with someone else, who shall remain unnamed, would call into question the honor of a person of the highest rank; and this fact gives the holder of the document power over the distinguished individual whose honor and peace are at stake.”

“But this ascendancy,” I interposed, “would depend upon the robber’s knowledge of the loser’s knowledge of the robber. Who would dare—”

“But this rise to power,” I interrupted, “would rely on the robber’s awareness of what the loser knows about them. Who would dare—”

“The thief,” said G., “is the Minister D——, who dares all things, those unbecoming as well as those becoming a man. The method of the theft was not less ingenious than bold. The document in question—a letter, to be frank—had been received by the personage robbed while alone in the royal boudoir. During its perusal she was suddenly interrupted by the entrance of the other exalted personage from whom especially it was her wish to conceal it. After a hurried and vain endeavor to thrust it in a drawer, she was forced to place it, open as it was, upon a table. The address, however, was uppermost, and, the contents thus unexposed, the letter escaped notice. At this juncture enters the Minister D——. His lynx eye immediately perceives the paper, recognises the handwriting of the address, observes the confusion of the personage addressed, and fathoms her secret. After some business transactions, hurried through in his ordinary manner, he produces a letter somewhat similar to the one in question, opens it, pretends to read it, and then places it in close juxtaposition to the other. Again he converses, for some fifteen minutes, upon the public affairs. At length, in taking leave, he takes also from the table the letter to which he had no claim. Its rightful owner saw, but, of course, dared not call attention to the act, in the presence of the third personage who stood at her elbow. The minister decamped; leaving his own letter—one of no importance—upon the table.”

“The thief,” said G., “is Minister D——, who dares to do anything, whether it suits a man or not. The way he stole the document was as clever as it was audacious. The document in question—a letter, to be honest—had been received by the person who was robbed while she was alone in the royal boudoir. While she was reading it, she was suddenly interrupted by the entrance of the other important figure from whom she particularly wanted to hide it. After a hurried and unsuccessful attempt to shove it into a drawer, she was forced to leave it, open, on a table. However, the address was on top, so the contents remained unseen, and the letter went unnoticed. At that moment, Minister D—— walked in. His sharp eyes immediately spotted the paper, recognized the handwriting on the address, noticed the distress of the person addressed, and figured out her secret. After quickly handling some business in his usual way, he pulled out a letter similar to the one in question, opened it, pretended to read it, and then placed it right next to the other letter. Then he continued to talk about public affairs for another fifteen minutes. Finally, as he was leaving, he also took the letter from the table that he had no right to. Its rightful owner saw this but, of course, couldn’t call attention to it in front of the third person standing beside her. The minister slipped away, leaving behind his own letter—one of no significance—on the table.”

“Here, then,” said Dupin to me, “you have precisely what you demand to make the ascendancy complete—the robber’s knowledge of the loser’s knowledge of the robber.”

“Here, then,” Dupin said to me, “you have exactly what you need to make the power dynamic clear—the robber’s understanding of what the victim knows about the robber.”

“Yes,” replied the Prefect; “and the power thus attained has, for some months past, been wielded, for political purposes, to a very dangerous extent. The personage robbed is more thoroughly convinced, every day, of the necessity of reclaiming her letter. But this, of course, cannot be done openly. In fine, driven to despair, she has committed the matter to me.”

“Yes,” replied the Prefect; “and the power gained from this has, for several months now, been used for political purposes to a very risky degree. The person who was robbed is becoming increasingly aware of how important it is to get her letter back. But, of course, this can’t be done publicly. In the end, feeling hopeless, she has entrusted the matter to me.”

“Than whom,” said Dupin, amid a perfect whirlwind of smoke, “no more sagacious agent could, I suppose, be desired, or even imagined.”

“Than whom,” said Dupin, in a perfect whirlwind of smoke, “I can’t imagine a more insightful detective could be wanted or even conceived.”

“You flatter me,” replied the Prefect; “but it is possible that some such opinion may have been entertained.”

"You flatter me," the Prefect replied, "but it's possible that someone might have thought that."

“It is clear,” said I, “as you observe, that the letter is still in possession of the minister; since it is this possession, and not any employment of the letter, which bestows the power. With the employment the power departs.”

“It’s clear,” I said, “as you can see, that the letter is still with the minister; because it’s this possession, and not any use of the letter, that gives the power. Once it’s used, the power goes away.”

“True,” said G.; “and upon this conviction I proceeded. My first care was to make thorough search of the minister’s hotel; and here my chief embarrassment lay in the necessity of searching without his knowledge. Beyond all things, I have been warned of the danger which would result from giving him reason to suspect our design.”

“True,” said G.; “and based on this belief, I moved forward. My first task was to thoroughly search the minister’s hotel; however, my biggest challenge was having to search without him knowing. Above all else, I had been cautioned about the risks of giving him any reason to suspect our plan.”

“But,” said I, “you are quite au fait in these investigations. The Parisian police have done this thing often before.”

“But,” I said, “you’re very familiar with these investigations. The Parisian police have done this kind of thing many times before.”

“Oh, yes; and for this reason I did not despair. The habits of the minister gave me, too, a great advantage. He is frequently absent from home all night. His servants are by no means numerous. They sleep at a distance from their master’s apartment, and, being chiefly Neapolitans, are readily made drunk. I have keys, as you know, with which I can open any chamber or cabinet in Paris. For three months a night has not passed, during the greater part of which I have not been engaged, personally, in ransacking the D—— Hotel. My honor is interested, and, to mention a great secret, the reward is enormous. So I did not abandon the search until I had become fully satisfied that the thief is a more astute man than myself. I fancy that I have investigated every nook and corner of the premises in which it is possible that the paper can be concealed.”

“Oh, yes; and because of that, I didn’t give up hope. The minister’s habits gave me a big advantage. He often stays out all night. His staff isn’t very large. They sleep far from his room, and since they’re mostly Neapolitans, they can easily be drunk. As you know, I have keys that let me open any room or cabinet in Paris. For the past three months, there hasn’t been a night when I haven’t been busy rummaging through the D—— Hotel. My reputation is at stake, and I have to reveal a big secret: the reward is huge. So I didn’t stop searching until I was convinced that the thief is smarter than I am. I believe I’ve searched every nook and cranny in the place where the paper could be hidden.”

“But is it not possible,” I suggested, “that although the letter may be in possession of the minister, as it unquestionably is, he may have concealed it elsewhere than upon his own premises?”

“But is it not possible,” I suggested, “that even though the minister definitely has the letter, he may have hidden it somewhere other than on his own property?”

“This is barely possible,” said Dupin. “The present peculiar condition of affairs at court, and especially of those intrigues in which D—— is known to be involved, would render the instant availability of the document—its susceptibility of being produced at a moment’s notice—a point of nearly equal importance with its possession.”

“This is hardly possible,” Dupin said. “The current strange situation at court, especially with those intrigues that D—— is known to be mixed up in, would make having the document readily available—being able to produce it at a moment’s notice—almost as important as actually owning it.”

“Its susceptibility of being produced?” said I.

“Its vulnerability to being created?” I said.

“That is to say, of being destroyed,” said Dupin.

"That means being destroyed," Dupin said.

“True,” I observed; “the paper is clearly then upon the premises. As for its being upon the person of the minister, we may consider that as out of the question.”

"True," I noted; "the paper is clearly on the premises. As for it being with the minister, we can rule that out."

“Entirely,” said the Prefect. “He has been twice waylaid, as if by footpads, and his person rigorously searched under my own inspection.”

“Absolutely,” said the Prefect. “He has been ambushed twice, as if by robbers, and his belongings thoroughly searched under my supervision.”

“You might have spared yourself this trouble,” said Dupin. “D——, I presume, is not altogether a fool, and, if not, must have anticipated these waylayings, as a matter of course.”

"You could have avoided this hassle," Dupin said. "D——, I assume, isn't completely foolish, and if that's the case, he must have expected these ambushes as a given."

“Not altogether a fool,” said G., “but then he’s a poet, which I take to be only one remove from a fool.”

“Not entirely a fool,” said G., “but he’s a poet, which I think is just one step away from being a fool.”

“True,” said Dupin, after a long and thoughtful whiff from his meerschaum, “although I have been guilty of certain doggrel myself.”

“True,” said Dupin, after a long and thoughtful puff from his meerschaum, “even though I’ve written some bad poetry myself.”

“Suppose you detail,” said I, “the particulars of your search.”

“Why don’t you share,” I said, “the details of your search?”

“Why the fact is, we took our time, and we searched everywhere. I have had long experience in these affairs. I took the entire building, room by room; devoting the nights of a whole week to each. We examined, first, the furniture of each apartment. We opened every possible drawer; and I presume you know that, to a properly trained police agent, such a thing as a secret drawer is impossible. Any man is a dolt who permits a ‘secret’ drawer to escape him in a search of this kind. The thing is so plain. There is a certain amount of bulk—of space—to be accounted for in every cabinet. Then we have accurate rules. The fiftieth part of a line could not escape us. After the cabinets we took the chairs. The cushions we probed with the fine long needles you have seen me employ. From the tables we removed the tops.”

“Honestly, we took our time and searched everywhere. I have a lot of experience with these situations. I searched the entire building, room by room, spending whole nights over an entire week on each one. We first examined the furniture in each apartment. We opened every possible drawer, and I’m sure you know that, to a well-trained police officer, a secret drawer is simply not possible. Anyone who lets a ‘secret’ drawer slip by them in a search like this is a fool. It’s so obvious. There’s a certain volume of space that has to be accounted for in every cabinet. Then, we have precise guidelines. The tiniest part of a line wouldn’t escape us. After checking the cabinets, we moved on to the chairs. We poked the cushions with the fine, long needles you’ve seen me use. From the tables, we removed the tops.”

“Why so?”

"Why's that?"

“Sometimes the top of a table, or other similarly arranged piece of furniture, is removed by the person wishing to conceal an article; then the leg is excavated, the article deposited within the cavity, and the top replaced. The bottoms and tops of bedposts are employed in the same way.”

“Sometimes the top of a table or another piece of furniture arranged similarly is taken off by someone wanting to hide an item; then the leg is hollowed out, the item is placed inside the cavity, and the top is put back on. The ends of bedposts are used in the same way.”

“But could not the cavity be detected by sounding?” I asked.

“But couldn't the cavity be detected by tapping?” I asked.

“By no means, if, when the article is deposited, a sufficient wadding of cotton be placed around it. Besides, in our case, we were obliged to proceed without noise.”

“Definitely not, if there's enough cotton padding around the article when it's stored. Also, in our situation, we had to move quietly.”

“But you could not have removed—you could not have taken to pieces all articles of furniture in which it would have been possible to make a deposit in the manner you mention. A letter may be compressed into a thin spiral roll, not differing much in shape or bulk from a large knitting-needle, and in this form it might be inserted into the rung of a chair, for example. You did not take to pieces all the chairs?”

“But you couldn't have taken apart every piece of furniture where it would have been possible to stash something like you said. A letter can be rolled up tightly into a thin spiral, which doesn't look much different in shape or size from a big knitting needle, and in this form, it could fit into the rung of a chair, for instance. You didn't take apart all the chairs, did you?”

“Certainly not; but we did better—we examined the rungs of every chair in the hotel, and, indeed the jointings of every description of furniture, by the aid of a most powerful microscope. Had there been any traces of recent disturbance we should not have failed to detect it instantly. A single grain of gimlet-dust, for example, would have been as obvious as an apple. Any disorder in the glueing—any unusual gaping in the joints—would have sufficed to insure detection.”

“Of course not; but we did even better—we checked the rungs of every chair in the hotel and the joints of all kinds of furniture with a really powerful microscope. If there had been any signs of recent disturbance, we would have spotted it right away. Even a tiny grain of gimlet dust would have stood out like an apple. Any mess in the glue or any unusual gaps in the joints would have been enough to make it obvious.”

“I presume you looked to the mirrors, between the boards and the plates, and you probed the beds and the bed-clothes, as well as the curtains and carpets.”

“I assume you checked the mirrors, between the boards and the plates, and you searched the beds and the bedding, as well as the curtains and rugs.”

“That of course; and when we had absolutely completed every particle of the furniture in this way, then we examined the house itself. We divided its entire surface into compartments, which we numbered, so that none might be missed; then we scrutinized each individual square inch throughout the premises, including the two houses immediately adjoining, with the microscope, as before.”

"Of course; and once we had finished putting together every piece of furniture this way, we looked at the house itself. We split the entire area into sections, which we numbered to make sure none were overlooked; then we inspected every single square inch of the property, including the two houses next door, with a microscope, just like before."

“The two houses adjoining!” I exclaimed; “you must have had a great deal of trouble.”

“The two houses next to each other!” I said; “you must have had a lot of trouble.”

“We had; but the reward offered is prodigious!”

“We did; but the reward being offered is huge!”

“You include the grounds about the houses?”

“Do you include the yards with the houses?”

“All the grounds are paved with brick. They gave us comparatively little trouble. We examined the moss between the bricks, and found it undisturbed.”

“All the grounds are paved with bricks. They gave us pretty minimal trouble. We looked at the moss between the bricks and found it undisturbed.”

“You looked among D——‘s papers, of course, and into the books of the library?”

“You checked D——'s papers and looked through the library books, right?”

“Certainly; we opened every package and parcel; we not only opened every book, but we turned over every leaf in each volume, not contenting ourselves with a mere shake, according to the fashion of some of our police officers. We also measured the thickness of every book-cover, with the most accurate admeasurement, and applied to each the most jealous scrutiny of the microscope. Had any of the bindings been recently meddled with, it would have been utterly impossible that the fact should have escaped observation. Some five or six volumes, just from the hands of the binder, we carefully probed, longitudinally, with the needles.”

"Of course; we opened every box and package; we didn’t just open every book, but we checked every page in each volume, not satisfied with just a quick look, like some of our police officers do. We also measured the thickness of every book cover with the utmost precision and examined each one with the closest scrutiny using a microscope. If any of the bindings had been tampered with recently, it would have been impossible for us to miss it. We carefully inspected five or six volumes that had just come from the binder, probing them lengthwise with needles."

“You explored the floors beneath the carpets?”

"Did you check under the rugs?"

“Beyond doubt. We removed every carpet, and examined the boards with the microscope.”

“Definitely. We took out all the carpets and looked at the floorboards under the microscope.”

“And the paper on the walls?”

“And what about the wallpaper?”

“Yes.”

"Yep."

“You looked into the cellars?”

“Have you checked the cellars?”

“We did.”

“We did.”

“Then,” I said, “you have been making a miscalculation, and the letter is not upon the premises, as you suppose.”

“Then,” I said, “you've made a mistake, and the letter isn’t on the property, as you think.”

“I fear you are right there,” said the Prefect. “And now, Dupin, what would you advise me to do?”

“I think you might be right,” said the Prefect. “So, Dupin, what do you suggest I do?”

“To make a thorough re-search of the premises.”

“To conduct a thorough investigation of the premises.”

“That is absolutely needless,” replied G——. “I am not more sure that I breathe than I am that the letter is not at the Hotel.”

"That's totally unnecessary," G—— replied. "I’m just as sure that I’m breathing as I am that the letter isn’t at the hotel."

“I have no better advice to give you,” said Dupin. “You have, of course, an accurate description of the letter?”

“I don’t have any better advice for you,” said Dupin. “You have a precise description of the letter, right?”

“Oh yes!”—And here the Prefect, producing a memorandum-book, proceeded to read aloud a minute account of the internal, and especially of the external appearance of the missing document. Soon after finishing the perusal of this description, he took his departure, more entirely depressed in spirits than I had ever known the good gentleman before.

“Oh yes!”—And here the Prefect, pulling out a notebook, began to read aloud a detailed account of the physical features, especially the external ones, of the missing document. Shortly after finishing the description, he left, feeling more downcast than I had ever seen the good man before.

In about a month afterwards he paid us another visit, and found us occupied very nearly as before. He took a pipe and a chair and entered into some ordinary conversation. At length I said,—

In about a month later, he came to visit us again and found us busy almost the same way as before. He grabbed a pipe and a chair and joined in on some casual conversation. Eventually, I said,—

“Well, but G——, what of the purloined letter? I presume you have at last made up your mind that there is no such thing as overreaching the Minister?”

“Well, G——, what about the stolen letter? I assume you've finally accepted that there's no way to outsmart the Minister?”

“Confound him, say I—yes; I made the re-examination, however, as Dupin suggested—but it was all labor lost, as I knew it would be.”

“Damn him, I say—yes; I did the re-examination, just like Dupin suggested—but it was all a waste of time, as I knew it would be.”

“How much was the reward offered, did you say?” asked Dupin.

“How much was the reward offered, you said?” asked Dupin.

“Why, a very great deal—a very liberal reward—I don’t like to say how much, precisely; but one thing I will say, that I wouldn’t mind giving my individual check for fifty thousand francs to any one who could obtain me that letter. The fact is, it is becoming of more and more importance every day; and the reward has been lately doubled. If it were trebled, however, I could do no more than I have done.”

“Honestly, a lot—a really generous reward—I’m not going to specify exactly how much, but I will say that I’d happily write a personal check for fifty thousand francs to anyone who could get me that letter. The truth is, it’s becoming more and more important every day, and the reward has recently been doubled. Even if it were tripled, though, I couldn’t do any more than I already have.”

“Why, yes,” said Dupin, drawlingly, between the whiffs of his meerschaum, “I really—think, G——, you have not exerted yourself—to the utmost in this matter. You might—do a little more, I think, eh?”

“Sure,” said Dupin, lazily, taking a puff from his meerschaum, “I honestly think, G——, that you haven’t fully pushed yourself in this situation. You could do a little more, don’t you think?”

“How?—in what way?”

"How?—in what way?"

“Why—puff, puff—you might—puff, puff—employ counsel in the matter, eh?—puff, puff, puff. Do you remember the story they tell of Abernethy?”

“Why—puff, puff—you could—puff, puff—get advice on this, right?—puff, puff, puff. Do you remember the story about Abernethy?”

“No; hang Abernethy!”

“No; forget Abernethy!”

“To be sure! hang him and welcome. But, once upon a time, a certain rich miser conceived the design of spunging upon this Abernethy for a medical opinion. Getting up, for this purpose, an ordinary conversation in a private company, he insinuated his case to the physician, as that of an imaginary individual.

“To be sure! Hang him and welcome. But once, a certain rich miser came up with the idea of getting a free medical opinion from Abernethy. So, he started an ordinary conversation in a private setting and brought up his case as if it belonged to someone else.”

“‘We will suppose,’ said the miser, ‘that his symptoms are such and such; now, doctor, what would you have directed him to take?’

“‘Let’s say,’ the miser said, ‘that his symptoms are like this; now, doctor, what would you have told him to take?’”

“‘Take!’ said Abernethy, ‘why, take advice, to be sure.’”

“‘Take!’ said Abernethy, ‘of course, take advice.’”

“But,” said the Prefect, a little discomposed, “I am perfectly willing to take advice, and to pay for it. I would really give fifty thousand francs to any one who would aid me in the matter.”

“But,” said the Prefect, a bit flustered, “I’m completely open to advice and willing to pay for it. I would honestly give fifty thousand francs to anyone who could help me with this.”

“In that case,” replied Dupin, opening a drawer, and producing a check-book, “you may as well fill me up a check for the amount mentioned. When you have signed it, I will hand you the letter.”

“In that case,” replied Dupin, opening a drawer and pulling out a checkbook, “you might as well fill out a check for the amount mentioned. Once you’ve signed it, I’ll give you the letter.”

I was astounded. The Prefect appeared absolutely thunder-stricken. For some minutes he remained speechless and motionless, looking incredulously at my friend with open mouth, and eyes that seemed starting from their sockets; then, apparently recovering himself in some measure, he seized a pen, and after several pauses and vacant stares, finally filled up and signed a check for fifty thousand francs, and handed it across the table to Dupin. The latter examined it carefully and deposited it in his pocket-book; then, unlocking an escritoire, took thence a letter and gave it to the Prefect. This functionary grasped it in a perfect agony of joy, opened it with a trembling hand, cast a rapid glance at its contents, and then, scrambling and struggling to the door, rushed at length unceremoniously from the room and from the house, without having uttered a syllable since Dupin had requested him to fill up the check.

I was amazed. The Prefect looked completely stunned. For several minutes, he was speechless and frozen, staring at my friend with his mouth open and eyes wide. Then, seeming to regain his composure a bit, he grabbed a pen and after several pauses and blank stares, finally filled out and signed a check for fifty thousand francs, handing it over to Dupin. Dupin carefully examined it and put it in his wallet; then, unlocking a desk, he took out a letter and handed it to the Prefect. The Prefect took it with an intense sense of joy, opened it with shaking hands, quickly glanced at the contents, and then, scrambling to the door, rushed out of the room and the house without saying a word since Dupin had asked him to fill out the check.

When he had gone, my friend entered into some explanations.

When he left, my friend started explaining things.

“The Parisian police,” he said, “are exceedingly able in their way. They are persevering, ingenious, cunning, and thoroughly versed in the knowledge which their duties seem chiefly to demand. Thus, when G—— detailed to us his mode of searching the premises at the Hotel D——, I felt entire confidence in his having made a satisfactory investigation—so far as his labors extended.”

“The Parisian police,” he said, “are very skilled at what they do. They are persistent, clever, resourceful, and completely knowledgeable about the tasks their jobs require. So, when G—— explained his method of searching the premises at the Hotel D——, I felt completely confident that he had conducted a thorough investigation—at least for the areas he covered.”

“So far as his labors extended?” said I.

“So far as his work went?” I asked.

“Yes,” said Dupin. “The measures adopted were not only the best of their kind, but carried out to absolute perfection. Had the letter been deposited within the range of their search, these fellows would, beyond a question, have found it.”

“Yes,” said Dupin. “The strategies used were not only the best available, but they were executed flawlessly. If the letter had been within the scope of their search, these guys would have definitely found it.”

I merely laughed—but he seemed quite serious in all that he said.

I just laughed—but he seemed really serious about everything he said.

“The measures, then,” he continued, “were good in their kind, and well executed; their defect lay in their being inapplicable to the case, and to the man. A certain set of highly ingenious resources are, with the Prefect, a sort of Procrustean bed, to which he forcibly adapts his designs. But he perpetually errs by being too deep or too shallow for the matter in hand; and many a schoolboy is a better reasoner than he. I knew one about eight years of age, whose success at guessing in the game of ‘even and odd’ attracted universal admiration. This game is simple, and is played with marbles. One player holds in his hand a number of these toys, and demands of another whether that number is even or odd. If the guess is right, the guesser wins one; if wrong, he loses one. The boy to whom I allude won all the marbles of the school. Of course he had some principle of guessing; and this lay in mere observation and admeasurement of the astuteness of his opponents. For example, an arrant simpleton is his opponent, and, holding up his closed hand, asks, ‘are they even or odd?’ Our schoolboy replies, ‘odd,’ and loses; but upon the second trial he wins, for he then says to himself, ‘the simpleton had them even upon the first trial, and his amount of cunning is just sufficient to make him have them odd upon the second; I will therefore guess odd;’—he guesses odd, and wins. Now, with a simpleton a degree above the first, he would have reasoned thus: ‘This fellow finds that in the first instance I guessed odd, and, in the second, he will propose to himself, upon the first impulse, a simple variation from even to odd, as did the first simpleton; but then a second thought will suggest that this is too simple a variation, and finally he will decide upon putting it even as before. I will therefore guess even;’—he guesses even, and wins. Now this mode of reasoning in the schoolboy, whom his fellows termed ‘lucky,’—what, in its last analysis, is it?”

“The measures, then,” he continued, “were good in their own way and well executed; their flaw was that they didn’t apply to the situation or the person involved. A certain set of clever tactics is, for the Prefect, like a Procrustean bed, to which he forcefully adapts his plans. But he constantly makes mistakes by being either too deep or too shallow for what’s at hand; and many a schoolboy is a better thinker than he is. I knew one boy who was about eight years old, whose talent for guessing in the game of ‘even and odd’ gained him wide admiration. This game is straightforward and is played with marbles. One player holds a certain number of these marbles in their hand and asks the other player whether that number is even or odd. If the guess is correct, the guesser wins one marble; if incorrect, they lose one. The boy I’m talking about won all the marbles in the school. Of course, he had some method for guessing, which was based purely on observing and measuring how clever his opponents were. For instance, if he faced a real simpleton who holds up a closed hand and asks, ‘Are they even or odd?’ our schoolboy would reply, ‘Odd,’ and lose; but on the second try, he would win because he thinks, ‘The simpleton had them even on the first try, and his level of cleverness is just enough to make him have them odd on the second; so I will guess odd.’—he guesses odd and wins. Now, with a simpleton who is just a bit smarter than the first, he would reason as follows: ‘This guy sees that I guessed odd the first time, so on the second he will instinctively think of a simple variation from even to odd, just like the first simpleton did; but then a second thought will tell him that this is too easy a variation, and in the end, he will decide to keep it even like before. So I will guess even.’—he guesses even and wins. Now, this line of reasoning from the schoolboy, who his peers called ‘lucky’—what is it really, when you break it down?”

“It is merely,” I said, “an identification of the reasoner’s intellect with that of his opponent.”

“It’s just,” I said, “a way of identifying the reasoner’s intellect with that of his opponent.”

“It is,” said Dupin; “and, upon inquiring of the boy by what means he effected the thorough identification in which his success consisted, I received answer as follows: ‘When I wish to find out how wise, or how stupid, or how good, or how wicked is any one, or what are his thoughts at the moment, I fashion the expression of my face, as accurately as possible, in accordance with the expression of his, and then wait to see what thoughts or sentiments arise in my mind or heart, as if to match or correspond with the expression.’ This response of the schoolboy lies at the bottom of all the spurious profundity which has been attributed to Rochefoucault, to La Bougive, to Machiavelli, and to Campanella.”

“It is,” Dupin said. “When I asked the boy how he managed to achieve the complete identification that led to his success, he replied: ‘When I want to find out how wise, or how stupid, or how good, or how wicked someone is, or what they’re thinking at that moment, I try to mirror their facial expression as closely as possible and then wait to see what thoughts or feelings come to my mind or heart, as if to match their expression.’ This response from the schoolboy reveals the false depth that has been mistakenly attributed to Rochefoucault, La Bougive, Machiavelli, and Campanella.”

“And the identification,” I said, “of the reasoner’s intellect with that of his opponent, depends, if I understand you aright, upon the accuracy with which the opponent’s intellect is admeasured.”

“And the identification,” I said, “of the reasoner’s intellect with that of his opponent depends, if I’m understanding you correctly, on how accurately the opponent’s intellect is measured.”

“For its practical value it depends upon this,” replied Dupin; “and the Prefect and his cohort fail so frequently, first, by default of this identification, and, secondly, by ill-admeasurement, or rather through non-admeasurement, of the intellect with which they are engaged. They consider only their own ideas of ingenuity; and, in searching for anything hidden, advert only to the modes in which they would have hidden it. They are right in this much—that their own ingenuity is a faithful representative of that of the mass; but when the cunning of the individual felon is diverse in character from their own, the felon foils them, of course. This always happens when it is above their own, and very usually when it is below. They have no variation of principle in their investigations; at best, when urged by some unusual emergency—by some extraordinary reward—they extend or exaggerate their old modes of practice, without touching their principles. What, for example, in this case of D——, has been done to vary the principle of action? What is all this boring, and probing, and sounding, and scrutinizing with the microscope and dividing the surface of the building into registered square inches—what is it all but an exaggeration of the application of the one principle or set of principles of search, which are based upon the one set of notions regarding human ingenuity, to which the Prefect, in the long routine of his duty, has been accustomed? Do you not see he has taken it for granted that all men proceed to conceal a letter,—not exactly in a gimlet hole bored in a chair-leg—but, at least, in some out-of-the-way hole or corner suggested by the same tenor of thought which would urge a man to secrete a letter in a gimlet-hole bored in a chair-leg? And do you not see also, that such recherchés nooks for concealment are adapted only for ordinary occasions, and would be adopted only by ordinary intellects; for, in all cases of concealment, a disposal of the article concealed—a disposal of it in this recherché manner,—is, in the very first instance, presumable and presumed; and thus its discovery depends, not at all upon the acumen, but altogether upon the mere care, patience, and determination of the seekers; and where the case is of importance—or, what amounts to the same thing in the political eyes, when the reward is of magnitude,—the qualities in question have never been known to fail. You will now understand what I meant in suggesting that, had the purloined letter been hidden any where within the limits of the Prefect’s examination—in other words, had the principle of its concealment been comprehended within the principles of the Prefect—its discovery would have been a matter altogether beyond question. This functionary, however, has been thoroughly mystified; and the remote source of his defeat lies in the supposition that the Minister is a fool, because he has acquired renown as a poet. All fools are poets; this the Prefect feels; and he is merely guilty of a non distributio medii in thence inferring that all poets are fools.”

“For its practical value, it comes down to this,” replied Dupin; “and the Prefect and his team fail so often, first, due to a lack of this identification, and second, because of a misjudgment, or rather, a complete misunderstanding, of the intellect with which they are dealing. They only consider their own ideas of cleverness; and, in searching for anything hidden, they only think about the ways they would have concealed it. They are correct in this much—that their own cleverness is a reliable representation of the average person's. But when the individual criminal's cunning is different from their own, the criminal outsmarts them, of course. This happens whenever the criminal's ingenuity is greater than theirs, and often when it is less. They lack any variation in their investigative methods; at best, when faced with some unusual emergency—by some extraordinary reward—they will stretch or exaggerate their usual strategies without altering their principles. What, for instance, has been done in the case of D—— to change the principle of action? What is all this boring, probing, sounding, and scrutinizing with the microscope, and dividing the surface of the building into registered square inches—what is it all but an exaggeration of the application of the same principle or set of principles of search, which the Prefect has become accustomed to in his long career? Don’t you see he has assumed that all men hide a letter—not exactly in a tiny hole drilled in a chair leg—but at least in some obscure nook or corner suggested by the same mindset that would lead someone to hide a letter in a tiny hole in a chair leg? And don’t you also see that such elaborate hiding places are suited only for ordinary situations and would only be used by ordinary minds; for in all cases of concealment, how something is hidden—is, from the very start, presumed; and thus its discovery relies, not on sharpness, but entirely on the simple care, patience, and determination of the searchers; and when the matter is significant—or, which is the same thing in political terms, when the reward is substantial—those qualities have never been known to fail. You will now understand what I meant when I suggested that, had the stolen letter been hidden anywhere within the Prefect’s search area—in other words, had the method of its concealment been understood within the Prefect’s principles—its discovery would have been a completely certain matter. This official, however, has been completely baffled; and the root of his defeat lies in the assumption that the Minister is a fool just because he is famous as a poet. All fools are poets; this the Prefect understands; and he is merely guilty of a failure in logic in inferring that all poets are fools.”

“But is this really the poet?” I asked. “There are two brothers, I know; and both have attained reputation in letters. The Minister I believe has written learnedly on the Differential Calculus. He is a mathematician, and no poet.”

“But is this really the poet?” I asked. “There are two brothers, I know; and both have gained recognition in literature. The Minister, I believe, has written extensively on Differential Calculus. He is a mathematician, not a poet.”

“You are mistaken; I know him well; he is both. As poet and mathematician, he would reason well; as mere mathematician, he could not have reasoned at all, and thus would have been at the mercy of the Prefect.”

"You've got it wrong; I know him well; he's both. As a poet and mathematician, he could think clearly; as just a mathematician, he wouldn't have been able to think at all, leaving him at the mercy of the Prefect."

“You surprise me,” I said, “by these opinions, which have been contradicted by the voice of the world. You do not mean to set at naught the well-digested idea of centuries. The mathematical reason has long been regarded as the reason par excellence.”

"You surprise me," I said, "with these opinions that go against what everyone else thinks. You can't really dismiss the well-established ideas that have stood for centuries. For a long time, mathematical reasoning has been seen as the ultimate form of reasoning."

“‘Il y a à parièr,’” replied Dupin, quoting from Chamfort, “‘que toute idée publique, toute convention reçue est une sottise, car elle a convenue au plus grand nombre.’ The mathematicians, I grant you, have done their best to promulgate the popular error to which you allude, and which is none the less an error for its promulgation as truth. With an art worthy a better cause, for example, they have insinuated the term ‘analysis’ into application to algebra. The French are the originators of this particular deception; but if a term is of any importance—if words derive any value from applicability—then ‘analysis’ conveys ‘algebra’ about as much as, in Latin, ‘ambitus’ implies ‘ambition,’ ‘religio’ ‘religion,’ or ‘homines honesti’ a set of honorable men.”

“‘There’s a saying,’” Dupin replied, quoting Chamfort, “‘that every public idea and accepted convention is nonsense because it’s agreed upon by the majority.’ I admit that mathematicians have tried their best to spread the popular misconception you mentioned, which does not become any less of a misconception just because it is accepted as truth. With skill deserving of a better purpose, for instance, they have slyly included the term ‘analysis’ in relation to algebra. The French were the ones who started this particular deception; but if a term holds any significance—if words gain value from how they are used—then ‘analysis’ relates to ‘algebra’ about as much as, in Latin, ‘ambitus’ suggests ‘ambition,’ ‘religio’ means ‘religion,’ or ‘homines honesti’ refers to a group of honorable men.”

“You have a quarrel on hand, I see,” said I, “with some of the algebraists of Paris; but proceed.”

“You have a fight going on, I see,” I said, “with some of the algebraists from Paris; but go on.”

“I dispute the availability, and thus the value, of that reason which is cultivated in any especial form other than the abstractly logical. I dispute, in particular, the reason educed by mathematical study. The mathematics are the science of form and quantity; mathematical reasoning is merely logic applied to observation upon form and quantity. The great error lies in supposing that even the truths of what is called pure algebra, are abstract or general truths. And this error is so egregious that I am confounded at the universality with which it has been received. Mathematical axioms are not axioms of general truth. What is true of relation—of form and quantity—is often grossly false in regard to morals, for example. In this latter science it is very usually untrue that the aggregated parts are equal to the whole. In chemistry also the axiom fails. In the consideration of motive it fails; for two motives, each of a given value, have not, necessarily, a value when united, equal to the sum of their values apart. There are numerous other mathematical truths which are only truths within the limits of relation. But the mathematician argues, from his finite truths, through habit, as if they were of an absolutely general applicability—as the world indeed imagines them to be. Bryant, in his very learned ‘Mythology,’ mentions an analogous source of error, when he says that ‘although the Pagan fables are not believed, yet we forget ourselves continually, and make inferences from them as existing realities.’ With the algebraists, however, who are Pagans themselves, the ‘Pagan fables’ are believed, and the inferences are made, not so much through lapse of memory, as through an unaccountable addling of the brains. In short, I never yet encountered the mere mathematician who could be trusted out of equal roots, or one who did not clandestinely hold it as a point of his faith that x2+px was absolutely and unconditionally equal to q. Say to one of these gentlemen, by way of experiment, if you please, that you believe occasions may occur where x2+px is not altogether equal to q, and, having made him understand what you mean, get out of his reach as speedily as convenient, for, beyond doubt, he will endeavor to knock you down.

“I challenge the availability, and therefore the value, of any type of reasoning that isn’t purely logical. Specifically, I question the reasoning developed through mathematical study. Mathematics is the science of form and quantity; mathematical reasoning is simply logic applied to observations of form and quantity. The big mistake is thinking that even the truths of what is called pure algebra are abstract or general truths. This mistake is so significant that I’m amazed at how widely it’s accepted. Mathematical axioms are not truths that apply universally. What holds true in terms of relation—form and quantity—can often be completely false regarding morals, for instance. In this latter field, it is usually untrue that the total of the parts equals the whole. The same axiom fails in chemistry. When considering motives, it also doesn’t hold; two motives, each with a specific value, don’t necessarily combine to a value equal to the sum of their individual values. There are many other mathematical truths that only hold within the confines of relation. Yet mathematicians, out of habit, argue from their finite truths as if they apply universally—just as the world tends to believe. Bryant, in his scholarly ‘Mythology,’ points out a similar source of error when he states that ‘even though people don’t believe in Pagan fables, we often forget ourselves and infer from them as if they were real.’ With algebraists, however, who essentially are Pagans themselves, the ‘Pagan fables’ are accepted, and the inferences are drawn, not just from forgetfulness but from a baffling confusion of thought. In short, I’ve never encountered a mathematician who could be trusted outside of equal roots or one who didn’t secretly believe that x2 + px was absolutely and unconditionally equal to q. Try telling one of these individuals, just for a test, that you think there may be times when x2 + px isn’t entirely equal to q, and, once he understands your point, get out of his way as quickly as possible, because he will definitely try to attack you.”

“I mean to say,” continued Dupin, while I merely laughed at his last observations, “that if the Minister had been no more than a mathematician, the Prefect would have been under no necessity of giving me this check. I know him, however, as both mathematician and poet, and my measures were adapted to his capacity, with reference to the circumstances by which he was surrounded. I knew him as a courtier, too, and as a bold intriguant. Such a man, I considered, could not fail to be aware of the ordinary policial modes of action. He could not have failed to anticipate—and events have proved that he did not fail to anticipate—the waylayings to which he was subjected. He must have foreseen, I reflected, the secret investigations of his premises. His frequent absences from home at night, which were hailed by the Prefect as certain aids to his success, I regarded only as ruses, to afford opportunity for thorough search to the police, and thus the sooner to impress them with the conviction to which G——, in fact, did finally arrive—the conviction that the letter was not upon the premises. I felt, also, that the whole train of thought, which I was at some pains in detailing to you just now, concerning the invariable principle of policial action in searches for articles concealed—I felt that this whole train of thought would necessarily pass through the mind of the Minister. It would imperatively lead him to despise all the ordinary nooks of concealment. He could not, I reflected, be so weak as not to see that the most intricate and remote recess of his hotel would be as open as his commonest closets to the eyes, to the probes, to the gimlets, and to the microscopes of the Prefect. I saw, in fine, that he would be driven, as a matter of course, to simplicity, if not deliberately induced to it as a matter of choice. You will remember, perhaps, how desperately the Prefect laughed when I suggested, upon our first interview, that it was just possible this mystery troubled him so much on account of its being so very self-evident.”

“I mean,” Dupin continued while I just laughed at his last comments, “that if the Minister were just a mathematician, the Prefect wouldn’t have needed to give me this check. However, I know him as both a mathematician and a poet, and my strategies were tailored to his abilities based on the situation he found himself in. I also knew him as a courtier and a bold schemer. I thought someone like him would definitely be aware of the usual police methods. He couldn't have failed to foresee—and events have shown that he did foresee—the ambushes he faced. I figured he must have anticipated the secret searches of his place. His frequent late-night absences, which the Prefect saw as beneficial to him, I viewed only as tricks to give the police a chance to search thoroughly and thus quickly convince them of the conclusion that G—— eventually reached—that the letter wasn’t at his location. I also felt that the entire line of reasoning I just took some time to explain to you, about the consistent principle of police action in searches for hidden items—I felt that this entire line of reasoning would inevitably cross the Minister's mind. It would definitely lead him to disregard all the usual hiding spots. I imagined he wouldn’t be so naive as to think that the most complex and hidden corner of his hotel would be any less accessible to the eyes, tools, drills, and microscopes of the Prefect than his most common closets. Ultimately, I realized he would be pushed, naturally, towards simplicity, if not intentionally led to it by choice. You might recall how fiercely the Prefect laughed when I suggested, during our first meeting, that this mystery bothered him so much precisely because it was so blatantly obvious.”

“Yes,” said I, “I remember his merriment well. I really thought he would have fallen into convulsions.”

“Yes,” I said, “I remember his laughter well. I honestly thought he would have gone into fits.”

“The material world,” continued Dupin, “abounds with very strict analogies to the immaterial; and thus some color of truth has been given to the rhetorical dogma, that metaphor, or simile, may be made to strengthen an argument, as well as to embellish a description. The principle of the vis inertiæ, for example, seems to be identical in physics and metaphysics. It is not more true in the former, that a large body is with more difficulty set in motion than a smaller one, and that its subsequent momentum is commensurate with this difficulty, than it is, in the latter, that intellects of the vaster capacity, while more forcible, more constant, and more eventful in their movements than those of inferior grade, are yet the less readily moved, and more embarrassed and full of hesitation in the first few steps of their progress. Again: have you ever noticed which of the street signs, over the shop-doors, are the most attractive of attention?”

“The physical world,” Dupin went on, “is full of strict parallels to the immaterial; and so some degree of truth has been given to the idea that metaphor or simile can strengthen an argument as well as enhance a description. The principle of inertia, for instance, appears to be the same in both physics and metaphysics. It’s just as true in physics that a large object is harder to get moving than a smaller one, and that its subsequent momentum matches this difficulty, as it is in metaphysics that greater intellects, while more powerful, consistent, and impactful in their actions than those of lesser capacity, are also less easily set in motion and often hesitant in their initial steps forward. Have you ever noticed which street signs over shop doors catch your eye the most?”

“I have never given the matter a thought,” I said.

"I’ve never thought about it," I said.

“There is a game of puzzles,” he resumed, “which is played upon a map. One party playing requires another to find a given word—the name of town, river, state or empire—any word, in short, upon the motley and perplexed surface of the chart. A novice in the game generally seeks to embarrass his opponents by giving them the most minutely lettered names; but the adept selects such words as stretch, in large characters, from one end of the chart to the other. These, like the over-largely lettered signs and placards of the street, escape observation by dint of being excessively obvious; and here the physical oversight is precisely analogous with the moral inapprehension by which the intellect suffers to pass unnoticed those considerations which are too obtrusively and too palpably self-evident. But this is a point, it appears, somewhat above or beneath the understanding of the Prefect. He never once thought it probable, or possible, that the Minister had deposited the letter immediately beneath the nose of the whole world, by way of best preventing any portion of that world from perceiving it.

“There’s a puzzle game,” he continued, “played on a map. One group needs another to find a specific word—the name of a town, river, state, or empire—any word, really, on the busy and confusing surface of the chart. A novice usually tries to confuse their opponents by giving them tiny, detailed names; but an expert picks words that span from one end of the chart to the other in big letters. These, like the oversized signs and posters in the street, often go unnoticed because they’re just too obvious; and this lack of awareness is similar to how the mind can overlook ideas that are too glaringly self-evident. However, this point seems to be a bit beyond or beneath the Prefect's grasp. He never once considered it likely, or even possible, that the Minister had left the letter right under everyone’s nose, thinking it would be the best way to keep it hidden from view.”

“But the more I reflected upon the daring, dashing, and discriminating ingenuity of D——; upon the fact that the document must always have been at hand, if he intended to use it to good purpose; and upon the decisive evidence, obtained by the Prefect, that it was not hidden within the limits of that dignitary’s ordinary search—the more satisfied I became that, to conceal this letter, the Minister had resorted to the comprehensive and sagacious expedient of not attempting to conceal it at all.

“But the more I thought about D——'s bold, clever, and discerning ingenuity; about how the document must have always been nearby if he planned to use it effectively; and about the clear evidence the Prefect found that it wasn't hidden within the usual limits of his search—the more convinced I became that, to hide this letter, the Minister had cleverly decided not to hide it at all.”

“Full of these ideas, I prepared myself with a pair of green spectacles, and called one fine morning, quite by accident, at the Ministerial hotel. I found D—— at home, yawning, lounging, and dawdling, as usual, and pretending to be in the last extremity of ennui. He is, perhaps, the most really energetic human being now alive—but that is only when nobody sees him.

“Filled with these thoughts, I got ready with a pair of green glasses and happened to drop by the Ministerial hotel one lovely morning. I found D—— at home, yawning, lounging, and wasting time as usual, while pretending to be utterly bored. He is probably the most genuinely energetic person alive today—but that’s only when no one is watching him.

“To be even with him, I complained of my weak eyes, and lamented the necessity of the spectacles, under cover of which I cautiously and thoroughly surveyed the whole apartment, while seemingly intent only upon the conversation of my host.

“To keep up with him, I mentioned my weak eyes and complained about needing glasses, all while I carefully and thoroughly looked around the entire apartment, pretending to be focused only on my host's conversation.”

“I paid especial attention to a large writing-table near which he sat, and upon which lay confusedly, some miscellaneous letters and other papers, with one or two musical instruments and a few books. Here, however, after a long and very deliberate scrutiny, I saw nothing to excite particular suspicion.

“I paid special attention to a large writing desk where he sat, and on it were scattered some random letters and other papers, along with a couple of musical instruments and a few books. However, after a long and careful examination, I didn’t find anything that raised any particular suspicion.”

“At length my eyes, in going the circuit of the room, fell upon a trumpery fillagree card-rack of pasteboard, that hung dangling by a dirty blue ribbon, from a little brass knob just beneath the middle of the mantel-piece. In this rack, which had three or four compartments, were five or six visiting cards and a solitary letter. This last was much soiled and crumpled. It was torn nearly in two, across the middle—as if a design, in the first instance, to tear it entirely up as worthless, had been altered, or stayed, in the second. It had a large black seal, bearing the D—— cipher very conspicuously, and was addressed, in a diminutive female hand, to D——, the minister, himself. It was thrust carelessly, and even, as it seemed, contemptuously, into one of the uppermost divisions of the rack.

“At last, my eyes, while scanning the room, landed on a cheap, flimsy card rack made of pasteboard, hanging by a dirty blue ribbon from a small brass knob just under the middle of the mantelpiece. In this rack, which had three or four sections, were five or six visiting cards and a single letter. The letter was very dirty and wrinkled. It was almost torn in half, as if there had originally been an intention to rip it completely apart as worthless, but that plan had changed. It had a large black seal, prominently displaying the D—— cipher, and was addressed in a tiny, feminine handwriting to D——, the minister himself. It was shoved carelessly, and it even seemed like contemptuously, into one of the top sections of the rack.”

“No sooner had I glanced at this letter, than I concluded it to be that of which I was in search. To be sure, it was, to all appearance, radically different from the one of which the Prefect had read us so minute a description. Here the seal was large and black, with the D—— cipher; there it was small and red, with the ducal arms of the S—— family. Here, the address, to the Minister, diminutive and feminine; there the superscription, to a certain royal personage, was markedly bold and decided; the size alone formed a point of correspondence. But, then, the radicalness of these differences, which was excessive; the dirt; the soiled and torn condition of the paper, so inconsistent with the true methodical habits of D——, and so suggestive of a design to delude the beholder into an idea of the worthlessness of the document—these things, together with the hyper-obtrusive situation of this document, full in the view of every visitor, and thus exactly in accordance with the conclusions to which I had previously arrived; these things, I say, were strongly corroborative of suspicion, in one who came with the intention to suspect.

“No sooner had I glanced at this letter than I realized it was the one I had been looking for. Sure, it looked completely different from the one the Prefect had described in detail. Here, the seal was large and black with the D—— cipher; there, it was small and red, with the ducal arms of the S—— family. Here, the address to the Minister was small and feminine; there, the address to a certain royal figure was bold and decisive. The only point of similarity was the size. But then, the differences were striking; the dirt; the soiled and torn paper, which was so unlike D——'s usual orderly ways, suggested an intention to mislead the viewer into thinking the document was worthless—these aspects, along with the overly noticeable position of this document, clearly visible to every visitor, aligned exactly with the conclusions I had already drawn. These things, I say, strongly supported suspicion in someone who came prepared to be suspicious.”

“I protracted my visit as long as possible, and, while I maintained a most animated discussion with the Minister upon a topic which I knew well had never failed to interest and excite him, I kept my attention really riveted upon the letter. In this examination, I committed to memory its external appearance and arrangement in the rack; and also fell, at length, upon a discovery which set at rest whatever trivial doubt I might have entertained. In scrutinizing the edges of the paper, I observed them to be more chafed than seemed necessary. They presented the broken appearance which is manifested when a stiff paper, having been once folded and pressed with a folder, is refolded in a reversed direction, in the same creases or edges which had formed the original fold. This discovery was sufficient. It was clear to me that the letter had been turned, as a glove, inside out, re-directed, and re-sealed. I bade the Minister good morning, and took my departure at once, leaving a gold snuff-box upon the table.

“I extended my visit as long as I could, and while I engaged in a really lively conversation with the Minister about a topic I knew always interested him, I kept my focus on the letter. In examining it, I memorized its exterior and how it was arranged in the rack. Eventually, I made a discovery that put to rest any small doubts I had. As I looked closely at the edges of the paper, I noted that they were more worn than necessary. They had that torn look that happens when stiff paper is folded, pressed down, and then refolded in the opposite direction along the same creases. This finding was enough for me. It was clear that the letter had been turned inside out, redirected, and resealed. I said good morning to the Minister and took my leave right away, leaving a gold snuff-box on the table.”

“The next morning I called for the snuff-box, when we resumed, quite eagerly, the conversation of the preceding day. While thus engaged, however, a loud report, as if of a pistol, was heard immediately beneath the windows of the hotel, and was succeeded by a series of fearful screams, and the shoutings of a terrified mob. D—— rushed to a casement, threw it open, and looked out. In the meantime, I stepped to the card-rack, took the letter, put it in my pocket, and replaced it by a fac-simile, (so far as regards externals,) which I had carefully prepared at my lodgings—imitating the D—— cipher, very readily, by means of a seal formed of bread.

The next morning, I asked for the snuff-box, and we eagerly picked up our conversation from the day before. While we were engrossed in this, there was a loud bang, like a gunshot, right outside the hotel windows, followed by a series of chilling screams and the shouts of a panicked crowd. D—— rushed to a window, flung it open, and looked outside. Meanwhile, I moved to the card rack, took the letter, stuffed it in my pocket, and replaced it with a replica I had carefully made at my place—easily mimicking the D—— cipher using a seal I crafted from bread.

“The disturbance in the street had been occasioned by the frantic behavior of a man with a musket. He had fired it among a crowd of women and children. It proved, however, to have been without ball, and the fellow was suffered to go his way as a lunatic or a drunkard. When he had gone, D—— came from the window, whither I had followed him immediately upon securing the object in view. Soon afterwards I bade him farewell. The pretended lunatic was a man in my own pay.”

The chaos in the street was caused by the wild behavior of a man with a musket. He had fired it into a crowd of women and children. Fortunately, it turned out to be unloaded, and he was allowed to leave, either as a madman or a drunk. Once he was gone, D—— came away from the window, and I had quickly followed him after securing what I wanted. Soon after that, I said goodbye to him. The so-called lunatic was actually a man I had hired.

“But what purpose had you,” I asked, “in replacing the letter by a fac-simile? Would it not have been better, at the first visit, to have seized it openly, and departed?”

“But what was your purpose,” I asked, “in substituting the letter with a facsimile? Wouldn't it have been better to just take it openly during the first visit and leave?”

“D——,” replied Dupin, “is a desperate man, and a man of nerve. His hotel, too, is not without attendants devoted to his interests. Had I made the wild attempt you suggest, I might never have left the Ministerial presence alive. The good people of Paris might have heard of me no more. But I had an object apart from these considerations. You know my political prepossessions. In this matter, I act as a partisan of the lady concerned. For eighteen months the Minister has had her in his power. She has now him in hers—since, being unaware that the letter is not in his possession, he will proceed with his exactions as if it was. Thus will he inevitably commit himself, at once, to his political destruction. His downfall, too, will not be more precipitate than awkward. It is all very well to talk about the facilis descensus Averni; but in all kinds of climbing, as Catalani said of singing, it is far more easy to get up than to come down. In the present instance I have no sympathy—at least no pity—for him who descends. He is that monstrum horrendum, an unprincipled man of genius. I confess, however, that I should like very well to know the precise character of his thoughts, when, being defied by her whom the Prefect terms ‘a certain personage’ he is reduced to opening the letter which I left for him in the card-rack.”

“D——,” Dupin replied, “is a desperate man and someone with a lot of nerve. His hotel also has staff who are fully committed to his interests. If I had made the reckless move you suggest, I might never have left the Minister’s presence alive. The good people of Paris might have forgotten me completely. But I have a goal aside from these considerations. You know my political leanings. In this case, I’m acting as an advocate for the lady involved. For eighteen months, the Minister has had power over her. Now she has power over him—since he doesn’t realize that the letter isn’t in his possession, he’ll continue his demands as if it is. This will inevitably lead to his political ruin. His downfall will be both sudden and clumsy. It’s easy to talk about the easy descent into hell, but as Catalani said about singing, it’s much easier to climb up than to come down. In this situation, I have no sympathy—at least no pity—for him who falls. He is that horrifying monster, an unprincipled genius. I do admit, however, that I’d really like to know what he’s thinking when he’s challenged by the woman the Prefect calls ‘a certain personage’ and finds himself forced to open the letter I left for him in the card rack.”

“How? did you put any thing particular in it?”

“How? Did you add anything special to it?”

“Why—it did not seem altogether right to leave the interior blank—that would have been insulting. D——, at Vienna once, did me an evil turn, which I told him, quite good-humoredly, that I should remember. So, as I knew he would feel some curiosity in regard to the identity of the person who had outwitted him, I thought it a pity not to give him a clue. He is well acquainted with my MS., and I just copied into the middle of the blank sheet the words—

“Why—it didn’t feel right to leave the inside blank—that would have been disrespectful. D——, back in Vienna, did me a dirty deed, and I told him, jokingly, that I would remember it. So, knowing he would be curious about who had outsmarted him, I figured it would be a shame not to give him a hint. He’s familiar with my manuscript, and I simply copied into the middle of the blank page the words—

“‘— — Un dessein si funeste,
S’il n’est digne d’Atrée, est digne de Thyeste.

“‘— — A plan so deadly,
If it’s not worthy of Atreus, it’s worthy of Thyestes.

They are to be found in Crébillon’s ‘Atrée.’”

They can be found in Crébillon’s ‘Atrée.’”

THE THOUSAND-AND-SECOND TALE OF SCHEHERAZADE

Truth is stranger than fiction.—Old Saying

Truth is stranger than fiction.—Old Saying

Having had occasion, lately, in the course of some Oriental investigations, to consult the Tellmenow Isitsöornot, a work which (like the Zohar of Simeon Jochaides) is scarcely known at all, even in Europe; and which has never been quoted, to my knowledge, by any American—if we except, perhaps, the author of the “Curiosities of American Literature”;—having had occasion, I say, to turn over some pages of the first-mentioned very remarkable work, I was not a little astonished to discover that the literary world has hitherto been strangely in error respecting the fate of the vizier’s daughter, Scheherazade, as that fate is depicted in the “Arabian Nights”; and that the dénouement there given, if not altogether inaccurate, as far as it goes, is at least to blame in not having gone very much farther.

Recently, while doing some research on Eastern topics, I had the chance to look into the Tellmenow Isitsöornot, a work that (similar to the Zohar of Simeon Jochaides) is hardly known at all, even in Europe; and to my knowledge, it has never been quoted by any American—except maybe the author of “Curiosities of American Literature.” So, while browsing through some pages of this remarkable work, I was quite surprised to find that the literary community has been oddly mistaken about the fate of the vizier’s daughter, Scheherazade, as described in the “Arabian Nights.” The ending presented there, while not completely wrong, at least fails to go much deeper into the story.

For full information on this interesting topic, I must refer the inquisitive reader to the “Isitsöornot” itself; but in the meantime, I shall be pardoned for giving a summary of what I there discovered.

For complete information on this intriguing topic, I have to point the curious reader to the "Isitsöornot" itself; but in the meantime, I hope to be forgiven for providing a summary of what I found there.

It will be remembered, that, in the usual version of the tales, a certain monarch having good cause to be jealous of his queen, not only puts her to death, but makes a vow, by his beard and the prophet, to espouse each night the most beautiful maiden in his dominions, and the next morning to deliver her up to the executioner.

It will be remembered that, in the usual version of the stories, a certain king, feeling justifiably jealous of his queen, not only has her killed but also vows, by his beard and the prophet, to marry the most beautiful girl in his kingdom every night and then turn her over to the executioner the next morning.

Having fulfilled this vow for many years to the letter, and with a religious punctuality and method that conferred great credit upon him as a man of devout feeling and excellent sense, he was interrupted one afternoon (no doubt at his prayers) by a visit from his grand vizier, to whose daughter, it appears, there had occurred an idea.

Having strictly kept this promise for many years, with a level of punctuality and method that reflected well on him as a man of deep faith and good judgment, he was interrupted one afternoon (probably while he was praying) by a visit from his grand vizier, who seemed to have had an idea concerning his daughter.

Her name was Scheherazade, and her idea was, that she would either redeem the land from the depopulating tax upon its beauty, or perish, after the approved fashion of all heroines, in the attempt.

Her name was Scheherazade, and her plan was to either save the land from the draining tax on its beauty or die trying, just like all the classic heroines do.

Accordingly, and although we do not find it to be leap-year (which makes the sacrifice more meritorious), she deputes her father, the grand vizier, to make an offer to the king of her hand. This hand the king eagerly accepts—(he had intended to take it at all events, and had put off the matter from day to day, only through fear of the vizier),—but, in accepting it now, he gives all parties very distinctly to understand, that, grand vizier or no grand vizier, he has not the slightest design of giving up one iota of his vow or of his privileges. When, therefore, the fair Scheherazade insisted upon marrying the king, and did actually marry him despite her father’s excellent advice not to do any thing of the kind—when she would and did marry him, I say, will I, nill I, it was with her beautiful black eyes as thoroughly open as the nature of the case would allow.

So, even though it’s not a leap year (which would make the sacrifice more admirable), she asks her father, the grand vizier, to propose to the king for her hand in marriage. The king happily accepts—(he was planning to marry her regardless, but had been delaying due to fear of the vizier)—but by accepting now, he makes it very clear to everyone involved, vizier or not, that he has no intention of giving up any part of his promise or privileges. Therefore, when the lovely Scheherazade insisted on marrying the king, and actually went through with it despite her father's wise advice against it—when she decided to marry him, I say, willingly or not, her beautiful black eyes were as wide open as the situation allowed.

It seems, however, that this politic damsel (who had been reading Machiavelli, beyond doubt), had a very ingenious little plot in her mind. On the night of the wedding, she contrived, upon I forget what specious pretence, to have her sister occupy a couch sufficiently near that of the royal pair to admit of easy conversation from bed to bed; and, a little before cock-crowing, she took care to awaken the good monarch, her husband (who bore her none the worse will because he intended to wring her neck on the morrow),—she managed to awaken him, I say, (although on account of a capital conscience and an easy digestion, he slept well) by the profound interest of a story (about a rat and a black cat, I think) which she was narrating (all in an undertone, of course) to her sister. When the day broke, it so happened that this history was not altogether finished, and that Scheherazade, in the nature of things could not finish it just then, since it was high time for her to get up and be bowstrung—a thing very little more pleasant than hanging, only a trifle more genteel!

It seems that this cunning young lady (who had definitely been reading Machiavelli) had a clever little scheme in her mind. On the night of the wedding, she managed, under some excuse I can’t recall, to have her sister sleep on a couch close enough to the royal couple’s bed for easy conversation. A little before dawn, she made sure to wake her good husband, the king (who wasn't upset with her since he planned to strangle her the next day)—she managed to wake him, I say, even though he usually slept soundly due to his clear conscience and good digestion, by telling a captivating story (about a rat and a black cat, if I remember right) in a low voice to her sister. When morning came, it turned out that the story wasn’t quite finished, and Scheherazade couldn’t wrap it up then because it was time for her to get up and face execution—something only slightly more pleasant than hanging, but a bit more refined!

The king’s curiosity, however, prevailing, I am sorry to say, even over his sound religious principles, induced him for this once to postpone the fulfilment of his vow until next morning, for the purpose and with the hope of hearing that night how it fared in the end with the black cat (a black cat, I think it was) and the rat.

The king's curiosity, unfortunately, outweighed even his strong religious beliefs, leading him to postpone his vow until the next morning. He wanted to find out that night what happened in the end with the black cat (I think it was a black cat) and the rat.

The night having arrived, however, the lady Scheherazade not only put the finishing stroke to the black cat and the rat (the rat was blue) but before she well knew what she was about, found herself deep in the intricacies of a narration, having reference (if I am not altogether mistaken) to a pink horse (with green wings) that went, in a violent manner, by clockwork, and was wound up with an indigo key. With this history the king was even more profoundly interested than with the other—and, as the day broke before its conclusion (notwithstanding all the queen’s endeavors to get through with it in time for the bowstringing), there was again no resource but to postpone that ceremony as before, for twenty-four hours. The next night there happened a similar accident with a similar result; and then the next—and then again the next; so that, in the end, the good monarch, having been unavoidably deprived of all opportunity to keep his vow during a period of no less than one thousand and one nights, either forgets it altogether by the expiration of this time, or gets himself absolved of it in the regular way, or (what is more probable) breaks it outright, as well as the head of his father confessor. At all events, Scheherazade, who, being lineally descended from Eve, fell heir, perhaps, to the whole seven baskets of talk, which the latter lady, we all know, picked up from under the trees in the garden of Eden; Scheherazade, I say, finally triumphed, and the tariff upon beauty was repealed.

The night had arrived, and Lady Scheherazade not only finished the black cat and the blue rat but also found herself caught up in telling a story about a pink horse with green wings that moved in a wild manner, powered by clockwork and wound up with an indigo key. The king was even more fascinated by this story than the previous ones, and as dawn broke before it was finished (despite the queen’s efforts to wrap it up in time to avoid the execution), they had no choice but to postpone that event for another twenty-four hours. The same thing happened the following night and then again the next night, leading the king to be unable to fulfill his vow for a total of one thousand and one nights. By the end of this time, he either forgot about it, sought a way to be excused, or (more likely) broke it outright, along with the head of his confessor. In any case, Scheherazade, who was descended from Eve and perhaps inherited a wealth of stories from her, ultimately succeeded, and the law against beauty was overturned.

Now, this conclusion (which is that of the story as we have it upon record) is, no doubt, excessively proper and pleasant—but alas! like a great many pleasant things, is more pleasant than true, and I am indebted altogether to the “Isitsöornot” for the means of correcting the error. “Le mieux,” says a French proverb, “est l’ennemi du bien,” and, in mentioning that Scheherazade had inherited the seven baskets of talk, I should have added that she put them out at compound interest until they amounted to seventy-seven.

Now, this conclusion (which is the one recorded in the story) is, without a doubt, quite nice and enjoyable—but sadly, like many nice things, it’s more enjoyable than true, and I owe it all to the “Isitsöornot” for helping me fix the mistake. “The best,” says a French proverb, “is the enemy of the good,” and when mentioning that Scheherazade inherited the seven baskets of stories, I should have added that she invested them at compound interest until they grew to seventy-seven.

“My dear sister,” said she, on the thousand-and-second night, (I quote the language of the “Isitsöornot” at this point, verbatim) “my dear sister,” said she, “now that all this little difficulty about the bowstring has blown over, and that this odious tax is so happily repealed, I feel that I have been guilty of great indiscretion in withholding from you and the king (who I am sorry to say, snores—a thing no gentleman would do) the full conclusion of Sinbad the sailor. This person went through numerous other and more interesting adventures than those which I related; but the truth is, I felt sleepy on the particular night of their narration, and so was seduced into cutting them short—a grievous piece of misconduct, for which I only trust that Allah will forgive me. But even yet it is not too late to remedy my great neglect—and as soon as I have given the king a pinch or two in order to wake him up so far that he may stop making that horrible noise, I will forthwith entertain you (and him if he pleases) with the sequel of this very remarkable story.”

"My dear sister," she said, on the thousand and second night, (I quote the language of the “Isitsöornot” at this point, verbatim) "my dear sister," she said, "now that the little issue with the bowstring has passed, and that terrible tax has been happily repealed, I realize I've been quite thoughtless in not sharing with you and the king (who, I regret to say, snores—a thing no gentleman would do) the full conclusion of Sinbad the sailor. This character had many other and more interesting adventures than the ones I recounted; but the truth is, I felt sleepy that night, and so I was tempted to cut them short—a serious mistake, for which I can only hope Allah forgives me. But it’s not too late to make up for my big oversight—and as soon as I give the king a nudge or two to wake him up enough to stop that awful noise, I will promptly entertain you (and him, if he wants) with the continuation of this remarkable story."

Hereupon the sister of Scheherazade, as I have it from the “Isitsöornot,” expressed no very particular intensity of gratification; but the king, having been sufficiently pinched, at length ceased snoring, and finally said, “Hum!” and then “Hoo!” when the queen, understanding these words (which are no doubt Arabic) to signify that he was all attention, and would do his best not to snore any more—the queen, I say, having arranged these matters to her satisfaction, re-entered thus, at once, into the history of Sinbad the sailor:

Hereupon, Scheherazade's sister, as I heard from the "Isitsöornot," didn’t show much excitement. But the king, having been nudged enough, finally stopped snoring and said, “Hum!” and then “Hoo!” The queen understood these words (which are definitely Arabic) to mean that he was paying attention and would try not to snore anymore. The queen, having sorted everything out to her liking, jumped back into the story of Sinbad the sailor:

“‘At length, in my old age,’ [these are the words of Sinbad himself, as retailed by Scheherazade]—‘at length, in my old age, and after enjoying many years of tranquillity at home, I became once more possessed of a desire of visiting foreign countries; and one day, without acquainting any of my family with my design, I packed up some bundles of such merchandise as was most precious and least bulky, and, engaging a porter to carry them, went with him down to the sea-shore, to await the arrival of any chance vessel that might convey me out of the kingdom into some region which I had not as yet explored.

“‘Finally, in my old age,’ [these are the words of Sinbad himself, as told by Scheherazade]—‘finally, in my old age, and after enjoying many years of peace at home, I found myself wanting to travel to foreign countries again; and one day, without telling my family about my plan, I packed some bundles of the most valuable and compact merchandise I could find, and, hiring a porter to carry them, I went with him down to the shore to wait for any ship that might take me out of the kingdom to a place I had not yet explored.

“‘Having deposited the packages upon the sands, we sat down beneath some trees, and looked out into the ocean in the hope of perceiving a ship, but during several hours we saw none whatever. At length I fancied that I could hear a singular buzzing or humming sound; and the porter, after listening awhile, declared that he also could distinguish it. Presently it grew louder, and then still louder, so that we could have no doubt that the object which caused it was approaching us. At length, on the edge of the horizon, we discovered a black speck, which rapidly increased in size until we made it out to be a vast monster, swimming with a great part of its body above the surface of the sea. It came toward us with inconceivable swiftness, throwing up huge waves of foam around its breast, and illuminating all that part of the sea through which it passed, with a long line of fire that extended far off into the distance.

“After dropping our packages on the sand, we settled down under some trees and stared out at the ocean, hoping to catch sight of a ship, but for several hours, we saw nothing at all. Eventually, I thought I could hear a strange buzzing or humming noise; the porter, after listening for a bit, said he could hear it too. Soon it got louder and then even louder, leaving us with no doubt that whatever was making the sound was approaching us. Finally, on the edge of the horizon, we spotted a dark speck, which quickly grew larger until we realized it was a massive creature, swimming with much of its body above the water. It sped toward us with incredible speed, creating huge waves of foam around it and lighting up the water it passed through with a long trail of fire stretching far off into the distance.”

“‘As the thing drew near we saw it very distinctly. Its length was equal to that of three of the loftiest trees that grow, and it was as wide as the great hall of audience in your palace, O most sublime and munificent of the Caliphs. Its body, which was unlike that of ordinary fishes, was as solid as a rock, and of a jetty blackness throughout all that portion of it which floated above the water, with the exception of a narrow blood-red streak that completely begirdled it. The belly, which floated beneath the surface, and of which we could get only a glimpse now and then as the monster rose and fell with the billows, was entirely covered with metallic scales, of a color like that of the moon in misty weather. The back was flat and nearly white, and from it there extended upwards of six spines, about half the length of the whole body.

“As the creature approached, we saw it clearly. It was as long as three of the tallest trees and as wide as the grand hall in your palace, O most magnificent and generous of the Caliphs. Its body, unlike that of ordinary fish, was as solid as rock and completely jet black in the part that floated above the water, except for a narrow blood-red stripe that encircled it. The belly, which was submerged and only occasionally visible as the beast rose and fell with the waves, was entirely covered with metallic scales that shone like the moon on a foggy night. The back was flat and nearly white, with more than six spines extending from it, each about half the length of the entire body.”

“‘This horrible creature had no mouth that we could perceive; but, as if to make up for this deficiency, it was provided with at least four score of eyes, that protruded from their sockets like those of the green dragon-fly, and were arranged all around the body in two rows, one above the other, and parallel to the blood-red streak, which seemed to answer the purpose of an eyebrow. Two or three of these dreadful eyes were much larger than the others, and had the appearance of solid gold.

“‘This awful creature had no visible mouth; but, as if to compensate for this lack, it had at least eighty eyes that stuck out from their sockets like those of a green dragonfly, arranged all around its body in two rows, one above the other, parallel to a blood-red stripe that seemed to serve as an eyebrow. A couple of these terrifying eyes were much bigger than the others and looked like they were made of solid gold.

“‘Although this beast approached us, as I have before said, with the greatest rapidity, it must have been moved altogether by necromancy—for it had neither fins like a fish nor web-feet like a duck, nor wings like the seashell which is blown along in the manner of a vessel; nor yet did it writhe itself forward as do the eels. Its head and its tail were shaped precisely alike, only, not far from the latter, were two small holes that served for nostrils, and through which the monster puffed out its thick breath with prodigious violence, and with a shrieking, disagreeable noise.

“‘Even though this creature came at us very quickly, as I mentioned before, it must have been driven by magic—since it had no fins like a fish, no webbed feet like a duck, and no wings like a shellfish that floats along like a boat; nor did it slither forward like eels do. Its head and tail were shaped exactly the same, except that near the back were two small holes that acted as nostrils, through which the monster forcefully expelled its thick breath with a loud, unpleasant noise.

“‘Our terror at beholding this hideous thing was very great, but it was even surpassed by our astonishment, when upon getting a nearer look, we perceived upon the creature’s back a vast number of animals about the size and shape of men, and altogether much resembling them, except that they wore no garments (as men do), being supplied (by nature, no doubt) with an ugly uncomfortable covering, a good deal like cloth, but fitting so tight to the skin, as to render the poor wretches laughably awkward, and put them apparently to severe pain. On the very tips of their heads were certain square-looking boxes, which, at first sight, I thought might have been intended to answer as turbans, but I soon discovered that they were excessively heavy and solid, and I therefore concluded they were contrivances designed, by their great weight, to keep the heads of the animals steady and safe upon their shoulders. Around the necks of the creatures were fastened black collars, (badges of servitude, no doubt,) such as we keep on our dogs, only much wider and infinitely stiffer, so that it was quite impossible for these poor victims to move their heads in any direction without moving the body at the same time; and thus they were doomed to perpetual contemplation of their noses—a view puggish and snubby in a wonderful, if not positively in an awful degree.

“Our fear of seeing this horrible thing was immense, but it was even surpassed by our astonishment when we got a closer look and noticed a huge number of creatures on the thing's back that looked like people but were about the size and shape of humans. They looked similar to us, except they weren’t wearing any clothes (like people do), instead covered by an unpleasant, tight, and awkward layer that looked somewhat like cloth, making them appear painfully uncomfortable. On the very tops of their heads were these square boxes that at first I thought were turbans, but I quickly realized they were extremely heavy and solid. I concluded they were designed to keep the creatures' heads steady and safe on their shoulders due to their great weight. Around the creatures' necks were black collars (surely signs of servitude), similar to what we put on our dogs, but much wider and incomparably stiffer, making it impossible for them to move their heads in any direction without moving their entire bodies at the same time; thus, they were condemned to constantly stare at their noses—a view that was both comically and uncomfortably flat and snubbed.”

“‘When the monster had nearly reached the shore where we stood, it suddenly pushed out one of its eyes to a great extent, and emitted from it a terrible flash of fire, accompanied by a dense cloud of smoke, and a noise that I can compare to nothing but thunder. As the smoke cleared away, we saw one of the odd man-animals standing near the head of the large beast with a trumpet in his hand, through which (putting it to his mouth) he presently addressed us in loud, harsh, and disagreeable accents, that, perhaps, we should have mistaken for language, had they not come altogether through the nose.

“‘When the monster was almost at the shore where we stood, it suddenly pushed out one of its eyes dramatically and released a terrible burst of fire, along with a thick cloud of smoke and a noise that I can only compare to thunder. As the smoke cleared, we saw one of the strange man-animals standing near the head of the large beast with a trumpet in his hand. He put it to his mouth and shouted at us in loud, harsh, and unpleasant tones that we might have mistaken for language if they hadn’t all come through his nose.

“‘Being thus evidently spoken to, I was at a loss how to reply, as I could in no manner understand what was said; and in this difficulty I turned to the porter, who was near swooning through affright, and demanded of him his opinion as to what species of monster it was, what it wanted, and what kind of creatures those were that so swarmed upon its back. To this the porter replied, as well as he could for trepidation, that he had once before heard of this sea-beast; that it was a cruel demon, with bowels of sulphur and blood of fire, created by evil genii as the means of inflicting misery upon mankind; that the things upon its back were vermin, such as sometimes infest cats and dogs, only a little larger and more savage; and that these vermin had their uses, however evil—for, through the torture they caused the beast by their nibbling and stingings, it was goaded into that degree of wrath which was requisite to make it roar and commit ill, and so fulfil the vengeful and malicious designs of the wicked genii.

“Having been clearly addressed, I was unsure how to respond since I couldn’t understand what was being said; in my confusion, I turned to the porter, who was nearly fainting from fear, and asked for his opinion on what kind of monster it was, what it wanted, and what those creatures swarming on its back were. The porter, as best as he could manage through his panic, told me he had heard of this sea creature before; it was a cruel demon with guts made of sulfur and blood made of fire, created by evil spirits to bring suffering to humanity. The things on its back were pests, similar to those that sometimes infest cats and dogs, just a bit larger and more vicious; and these pests had their purpose, however wicked — because their biting and stinging tortured the beast, it became enraged enough to roar and wreak havoc, thus fulfilling the vengeful and malicious schemes of the evil spirits.”

“This account determined me to take to my heels, and, without once even looking behind me, I ran at full speed up into the hills, while the porter ran equally fast, although nearly in an opposite direction, so that, by these means, he finally made his escape with my bundles, of which I have no doubt he took excellent care—although this is a point I cannot determine, as I do not remember that I ever beheld him again.

“This made me decide to run for it, and without looking back even once, I sprinted full speed up into the hills. The porter took off just as quickly, though mostly in the opposite direction, which allowed him to escape with my bags. I'm sure he took good care of them—although I can't say for certain, since I don't remember ever seeing him again.”

“‘For myself, I was so hotly pursued by a swarm of the men-vermin (who had come to the shore in boats) that I was very soon overtaken, bound hand and foot, and conveyed to the beast, which immediately swam out again into the middle of the sea.

“‘As for me, I was closely chased by a swarm of the men-leeches (who had come to the shore in boats) that I was quickly caught, tied up, and taken to the beast, which immediately swam out again into the middle of the sea.

“‘I now bitterly repented my folly in quitting a comfortable home to peril my life in such adventures as this; but regret being useless, I made the best of my condition, and exerted myself to secure the goodwill of the man-animal that owned the trumpet, and who appeared to exercise authority over his fellows. I succeeded so well in this endeavor that, in a few days, the creature bestowed upon me various tokens of his favor, and in the end even went to the trouble of teaching me the rudiments of what it was vain enough to denominate its language; so that, at length, I was enabled to converse with it readily, and came to make it comprehend the ardent desire I had of seeing the world.

“I now deeply regretted my mistake in leaving a comfortable home to risk my life in adventures like this; but since regret was useless, I made the best of my situation and worked to gain the goodwill of the man-animal who owned the trumpet and seemed to be in charge of his peers. I did so well in this effort that, within a few days, the creature showed me various signs of his favor, and eventually even went to the trouble of teaching me the basics of what I foolishly called his language; so that, in the end, I was able to talk with him easily and made him understand my strong desire to see the world.

“‘Washish squashish squeak, Sinbad, hey-diddle diddle, grunt unt grumble, hiss, fiss, whiss,’ said he to me, one day after dinner—but I beg a thousand pardons, I had forgotten that your majesty is not conversant with the dialect of the Cock-neighs (so the man-animals were called; I presume because their language formed the connecting link between that of the horse and that of the rooster). With your permission, I will translate. ‘Washish squashish,’ and so forth:—that is to say, ‘I am happy to find, my dear Sinbad, that you are really a very excellent fellow; we are now about doing a thing which is called circumnavigating the globe; and since you are so desirous of seeing the world, I will strain a point and give you a free passage upon back of the beast.’”

“‘Washish squashish squeak, Sinbad, hey-diddle diddle, grunt and grumble, hiss, fiss, whiss,’ he said to me one day after dinner—but I apologize, I forgot that your majesty isn’t familiar with the Cock-neigh language (that’s what we called the man-animals; I guess because their speech connected that of the horse and the rooster). With your permission, let me translate. ‘Washish squashish,’ and so on:—that means, ‘I’m glad to see, my dear Sinbad, that you’re actually a really great person; we’re about to do something called circumnavigating the globe; and since you really want to see the world, I’ll make an exception and give you a free ride on the back of the beast.’”

When the Lady Scheherazade had proceeded thus far, relates the “Isitsöornot,” the king turned over from his left side to his right, and said:

When Lady Scheherazade had gotten this far, says the "Isitsöornot," the king flipped from his left side to his right and said:

“It is, in fact, very surprising, my dear queen, that you omitted, hitherto, these latter adventures of Sinbad. Do you know I think them exceedingly entertaining and strange?”

“It’s actually quite surprising, my dear queen, that you’ve overlooked these later adventures of Sinbad until now. I find them incredibly entertaining and bizarre, you know?”

The king having thus expressed himself, we are told, the fair Scheherazade resumed her history in the following words:

The king having said this, we are told, the beautiful Scheherazade continued her story with these words:

“Sinbad went on in this manner with his narrative—‘I thanked the man-animal for its kindness, and soon found myself very much at home on the beast, which swam at a prodigious rate through the ocean; although the surface of the latter is, in that part of the world, by no means flat, but round like a pomegranate, so that we went—so to say—either up hill or down hill all the time.’

“Sinbad continued with his story—‘I thanked the creature for its kindness, and soon felt very comfortable on the beast, which swam incredibly fast through the ocean; although the surface there is, in that part of the world, not flat at all, but rounded like a pomegranate, so that we were—so to speak—always going either uphill or downhill.’”

“That I think, was very singular,” interrupted the king.

"That, I think, was quite unique," interrupted the king.

“Nevertheless, it is quite true,” replied Scheherazade.

“Still, it’s completely true,” replied Scheherazade.

“I have my doubts,” rejoined the king; “but, pray, be so good as to go on with the story.”

“I have my doubts,” replied the king; “but please, do continue with the story.”

“I will,” said the queen. “‘The beast,’ continued Sinbad to the caliph, ‘swam, as I have related, up hill and down hill until, at length, we arrived at an island, many hundreds of miles in circumference, but which, nevertheless, had been built in the middle of the sea by a colony of little things like caterpillars.’” (*1)

“I will,” said the queen. “‘The beast,’ Sinbad continued to the caliph, ‘swam, as I mentioned, uphill and downhill until we finally reached an island, many hundreds of miles around, which had been created in the middle of the sea by a colony of small creatures that looked like caterpillars.’” (*1)

“Hum!” said the king.

“Hum!” the king said.

“‘Leaving this island,’ said Sinbad—(for Scheherazade, it must be understood, took no notice of her husband’s ill-mannered ejaculation) ‘leaving this island, we came to another where the forests were of solid stone, and so hard that they shivered to pieces the finest-tempered axes with which we endeavoured to cut them down.’” (*2)

“‘Leaving this island,’ said Sinbad—(for Scheherazade, it should be noted, ignored her husband’s rude outburst) ‘after leaving this island, we arrived at another where the forests were made of solid stone, so tough that they shattered the best axes we used in an attempt to chop them down.’” (*2)

“Hum!” said the king, again; but Scheherazade, paying him no attention, continued in the language of Sinbad.

“Hum!” said the king again, but Scheherazade, ignoring him, continued in the language of Sinbad.

“‘Passing beyond this last island, we reached a country where there was a cave that ran to the distance of thirty or forty miles within the bowels of the earth, and that contained a greater number of far more spacious and more magnificent palaces than are to be found in all Damascus and Bagdad. From the roofs of these palaces there hung myriads of gems, like diamonds, but larger than men; and in among the streets of towers and pyramids and temples, there flowed immense rivers as black as ebony, and swarming with fish that had no eyes.’” (*3)

“‘After passing this last island, we arrived at a country where there was a cave that extended thirty or forty miles deep into the earth, containing more spacious and magnificent palaces than all those found in Damascus and Baghdad. From the roofs of these palaces hung countless gems, resembling diamonds but larger than men; and among the streets of towers, pyramids, and temples, flowed huge rivers as black as ebony, teeming with fish that had no eyes.’” (*3)

“Hum!” said the king.

“Hmm!” said the king.

“‘We then swam into a region of the sea where we found a lofty mountain, down whose sides there streamed torrents of melted metal, some of which were twelve miles wide and sixty miles long (*4); while from an abyss on the summit, issued so vast a quantity of ashes that the sun was entirely blotted out from the heavens, and it became darker than the darkest midnight; so that when we were even at the distance of a hundred and fifty miles from the mountain, it was impossible to see the whitest object, however close we held it to our eyes.’” (*5)

“‘We then swam into a part of the sea where we found a tall mountain, from which torrents of melted metal flowed down its sides, some reaching twelve miles wide and sixty miles long; while from a chasm at the top, an enormous amount of ash poured out, completely blocking the sun and making it darker than the deepest midnight; so that even when we were a hundred and fifty miles away from the mountain, we couldn't see the whitest object, no matter how close we held it to our eyes.’”

“Hum!” said the king.

“Hum!” said the king.

“‘After quitting this coast, the beast continued his voyage until we met with a land in which the nature of things seemed reversed—for we here saw a great lake, at the bottom of which, more than a hundred feet beneath the surface of the water, there flourished in full leaf a forest of tall and luxuriant trees.’” (*6)

“‘After leaving this coast, the creature kept sailing until we encountered a land where everything seemed turned upside down—because here we saw a huge lake, and at the bottom of it, more than a hundred feet below the water's surface, there thrived a forest of tall, lush trees.’” (*6)

“Hoo!” said the king.

“Hoo!” the king said.

“Some hundred miles farther on brought us to a climate where the atmosphere was so dense as to sustain iron or steel, just as our own does feather.’” (*7)

“About a hundred miles further on, we reached a place where the atmosphere was so thick that it could support iron or steel, just like our own supports feathers.” (*7)

“Fiddle de dee,” said the king.

“Fiddle dee dee,” said the king.

“Proceeding still in the same direction, we presently arrived at the most magnificent region in the whole world. Through it there meandered a glorious river for several thousands of miles. This river was of unspeakable depth, and of a transparency richer than that of amber. It was from three to six miles in width; and its banks which arose on either side to twelve hundred feet in perpendicular height, were crowned with ever-blossoming trees and perpetual sweet-scented flowers, that made the whole territory one gorgeous garden; but the name of this luxuriant land was the Kingdom of Horror, and to enter it was inevitable death.’” (*8)

“Still moving in the same direction, we soon reached the most incredible place in the entire world. A stunning river wound its way through, stretching for thousands of miles. This river was unimaginably deep and had a clarity that was richer than amber. It was between three to six miles wide; its banks rose on either side to a height of twelve hundred feet, topped with trees that bloomed year-round and fragrant flowers that turned the whole area into a beautiful garden. But this lush land was called the Kingdom of Horror, and entering it meant certain death.” (*8)

“Humph!” said the king.

“Humph!” said the king.

“‘We left this kingdom in great haste, and, after some days, came to another, where we were astonished to perceive myriads of monstrous animals with horns resembling scythes upon their heads. These hideous beasts dig for themselves vast caverns in the soil, of a funnel shape, and line the sides of them with rocks, so disposed one upon the other that they fall instantly, when trodden upon by other animals, thus precipitating them into the monster’s dens, where their blood is immediately sucked, and their carcasses afterwards hurled contemptuously out to an immense distance from “the caverns of death."’” (*9)

“‘We left this kingdom in a rush, and after a few days, we arrived at another one, where we were shocked to see countless monstrous creatures with horn-like blades on their heads. These terrifying beasts dig huge funnel-shaped caves in the ground and line the walls with rocks arranged in such a way that they fall easily when stepped on by other animals, sending them straight into the monsters' dens, where their blood is quickly drained, and their bodies are then carelessly thrown far away from “the caverns of death."’” (*9)

“Pooh!” said the king.

"Pooh!" said the king.

“‘Continuing our progress, we perceived a district with vegetables that grew not upon any soil but in the air. (*10) There were others that sprang from the substance of other vegetables; (*11) others that derived their substance from the bodies of living animals; (*12) and then again, there were others that glowed all over with intense fire; (*13) others that moved from place to place at pleasure, (*14) and what was still more wonderful, we discovered flowers that lived and breathed and moved their limbs at will and had, moreover, the detestable passion of mankind for enslaving other creatures, and confining them in horrid and solitary prisons until the fulfillment of appointed tasks.’” (*15)

“‘As we continued our journey, we came across an area where vegetables didn’t grow in soil but in the air. (*10) Some grew from other vegetables; (*11) others got their nutrients from living animals; (*12) and there were also ones that shone with a bright fire; (*13) some that could move around freely; (*14) and even more astonishing, we found flowers that lived, breathed, and moved their limbs as they pleased, and, what’s worse, they had the same terrible desire as humans to enslave other creatures and lock them up in terrible, lonely prisons until they completed their tasks.’” (*15)

“Pshaw!” said the king.

"Whatever!" said the king.

“‘Quitting this land, we soon arrived at another in which the bees and the birds are mathematicians of such genius and erudition, that they give daily instructions in the science of geometry to the wise men of the empire. The king of the place having offered a reward for the solution of two very difficult problems, they were solved upon the spot—the one by the bees, and the other by the birds; but the king keeping their solution a secret, it was only after the most profound researches and labor, and the writing of an infinity of big books, during a long series of years, that the men-mathematicians at length arrived at the identical solutions which had been given upon the spot by the bees and by the birds.’” (*16)

“Leaving this land, we quickly reached another where the bees and birds are such brilliant mathematicians that they teach the wise men of the empire about geometry every day. The king of that place offered a reward for solving two very tough problems, and they were solved right away—one by the bees and the other by the birds. However, the king kept their solutions secret, so it took the human mathematicians years of intense research and writing countless thick books before they finally figured out the same solutions that the bees and birds had provided on the spot.” (*16)

“Oh my!” said the king.

“Oh wow!” said the king.

“‘We had scarcely lost sight of this empire when we found ourselves close upon another, from whose shores there flew over our heads a flock of fowls a mile in breadth, and two hundred and forty miles long; so that, although they flew a mile during every minute, it required no less than four hours for the whole flock to pass over us—in which there were several millions of millions of fowl.’” (*17)

“‘We had barely lost sight of this empire when we found ourselves near another, from whose shores a flock of birds flew over us, a mile wide and two hundred and forty miles long; so that, even though they flew a mile every minute, it took at least four hours for the entire flock to pass over us—in which there were several millions of millions of birds.’” (*17)

“Oh fy!” said the king.

“Oh no!” said the king.

“‘No sooner had we got rid of these birds, which occasioned us great annoyance, than we were terrified by the appearance of a fowl of another kind, and infinitely larger than even the rocs which I met in my former voyages; for it was bigger than the biggest of the domes on your seraglio, oh, most Munificent of Caliphs. This terrible fowl had no head that we could perceive, but was fashioned entirely of belly, which was of a prodigious fatness and roundness, of a soft-looking substance, smooth, shining and striped with various colors. In its talons, the monster was bearing away to his eyrie in the heavens, a house from which it had knocked off the roof, and in the interior of which we distinctly saw human beings, who, beyond doubt, were in a state of frightful despair at the horrible fate which awaited them. We shouted with all our might, in the hope of frightening the bird into letting go of its prey, but it merely gave a snort or puff, as if of rage and then let fall upon our heads a heavy sack which proved to be filled with sand!’”

“‘As soon as we got rid of those annoying birds, we were stunned by the sight of a different kind of bird, one that was way larger than even the rocs I encountered on my previous voyages; it was bigger than the largest domes on your palace, oh, most Generous of Caliphs. This terrifying bird didn’t seem to have a head but was made entirely of belly, which was extremely fat and rounded, with a soft, shiny surface that was striped with various colors. In its claws, the monster was carrying away a house to its nest in the sky, from which it had knocked off the roof, and inside, we could clearly see human beings who, without a doubt, were in a state of horrific despair about the terrible fate awaiting them. We shouted with all our strength, hoping to scare the bird into dropping its prey, but it just snorted or huffed, as if in anger, and then dropped a heavy sack on our heads that turned out to be filled with sand!’”

“Stuff!” said the king.

“Things!” said the king.

“‘It was just after this adventure that we encountered a continent of immense extent and prodigious solidity, but which, nevertheless, was supported entirely upon the back of a sky-blue cow that had no fewer than four hundred horns.’” (*18)

“‘It was just after this adventure that we came across a continent of massive size and incredible strength, but which, nonetheless, was supported entirely on the back of a sky-blue cow that had no less than four hundred horns.’” (*18)

“That, now, I believe,” said the king, “because I have read something of the kind before, in a book.”

“Yeah, I believe that now,” said the king, “because I’ve read something like it before, in a book.”

“‘We passed immediately beneath this continent, (swimming in between the legs of the cow), and, after some hours, found ourselves in a wonderful country indeed, which, I was informed by the man-animal, was his own native land, inhabited by things of his own species. This elevated the man-animal very much in my esteem, and in fact, I now began to feel ashamed of the contemptuous familiarity with which I had treated him; for I found that the man-animals in general were a nation of the most powerful magicians, who lived with worms in their brain, (*19) which, no doubt, served to stimulate them by their painful writhings and wrigglings to the most miraculous efforts of imagination!’”

"We swam right under this continent, (between the legs of the cow), and after a few hours, we found ourselves in a truly amazing country, which, according to the man-animal, was his own homeland, populated by others of his kind. This raised the man-animal's status significantly in my eyes, and in fact, I started to feel embarrassed about how dismissively I had treated him; because I learned that the man-animals in general were a race of incredibly powerful magicians, who had worms in their brains, (*19) which, no doubt, helped to inspire them through their painful writhing and squirming to achieve the most incredible feats of imagination!"

“Nonsense!” said the king.

"Ridiculous!" said the king.

“‘Among the magicians, were domesticated several animals of very singular kinds; for example, there was a huge horse whose bones were iron and whose blood was boiling water. In place of corn, he had black stones for his usual food; and yet, in spite of so hard a diet, he was so strong and swift that he would drag a load more weighty than the grandest temple in this city, at a rate surpassing that of the flight of most birds.’” (*20)

“Among the magicians, there were some really unusual animals kept as pets; for instance, there was a massive horse whose bones were made of iron and whose blood was boiling water. Instead of grain, he ate black stones as his regular food; and yet, despite such a tough diet, he was so strong and fast that he could pull a load heavier than the largest temple in this city, faster than most birds could fly.” (*20)

“Twattle!” said the king.

“Talk nonsense!” said the king.

“‘I saw, also, among these people a hen without feathers, but bigger than a camel; instead of flesh and bone she had iron and brick; her blood, like that of the horse, (to whom, in fact, she was nearly related,) was boiling water; and like him she ate nothing but wood or black stones. This hen brought forth very frequently, a hundred chickens in the day; and, after birth, they took up their residence for several weeks within the stomach of their mother.’” (*21)

“‘I also saw among these people a featherless hen, but larger than a camel; instead of flesh and bone, she was made of iron and brick; her blood, like that of a horse (to which she was closely related), was boiling water; and like a horse, she only ate wood or black stones. This hen frequently gave birth, producing a hundred chicks in a day; and after they were born, they lived in their mother’s stomach for several weeks.’” (*21)

“Fal lal!” said the king.

"Fa la la!" said the king.

“‘One of this nation of mighty conjurors created a man out of brass and wood, and leather, and endowed him with such ingenuity that he would have beaten at chess, all the race of mankind with the exception of the great Caliph, Haroun Alraschid. (*22) Another of these magi constructed (of like material) a creature that put to shame even the genius of him who made it; for so great were its reasoning powers that, in a second, it performed calculations of so vast an extent that they would have required the united labor of fifty thousand fleshy men for a year. (*23) But a still more wonderful conjuror fashioned for himself a mighty thing that was neither man nor beast, but which had brains of lead, intermixed with a black matter like pitch, and fingers that it employed with such incredible speed and dexterity that it would have had no trouble in writing out twenty thousand copies of the Koran in an hour, and this with so exquisite a precision, that in all the copies there should not be found one to vary from another by the breadth of the finest hair. This thing was of prodigious strength, so that it erected or overthrew the mightiest empires at a breath; but its powers were exercised equally for evil and for good.’”

“‘One of this nation's great conjurers created a man out of brass, wood, and leather, giving him such intelligence that he could have beaten everyone in chess except for the great Caliph, Haroun Alraschid. (*22) Another of these magicians built (from similar materials) a being that outshone even its creator's genius; its reasoning abilities were so extraordinary that it could perform calculations of such scale in seconds that would take the combined effort of fifty thousand human beings a year. (*23) But an even more amazing conjurer made a powerful entity that was neither man nor beast, with brains made of lead mixed with a black substance like tar, and fingers that could write with such astonishing speed and skill that it could produce twenty thousand copies of the Koran in an hour, all with such exquisite precision that not a single copy would differ from another by the narrowest hair’s breadth. This creation had immense strength, capable of building or demolishing the greatest empires with a single breath; yet its powers could be used for both good and evil.’”

“Ridiculous!” said the king.

"That's absurd!" said the king.

“‘Among this nation of necromancers there was also one who had in his veins the blood of the salamanders; for he made no scruple of sitting down to smoke his chibouc in a red-hot oven until his dinner was thoroughly roasted upon its floor. (*24) Another had the faculty of converting the common metals into gold, without even looking at them during the process. (*25) Another had such a delicacy of touch that he made a wire so fine as to be invisible. (*26) Another had such quickness of perception that he counted all the separate motions of an elastic body, while it was springing backward and forward at the rate of nine hundred millions of times in a second.’” (*27)

“‘Among this nation of necromancers, there was also one who had the blood of salamanders in his veins; he had no qualms about sitting down to smoke his pipe in a red-hot oven until his dinner was completely cooked on the floor. (*24) Another had the ability to turn common metals into gold without even looking at them during the process. (*25) Another had such a delicate touch that he made a wire so fine it was invisible. (*26) Another had such quick perception that he counted all the separate motions of an elastic body while it was springing back and forth at the rate of nine hundred million times per second.’” (*27)

“Absurd!” said the king.

"Ridiculous!" exclaimed the king.

“‘Another of these magicians, by means of a fluid that nobody ever yet saw, could make the corpses of his friends brandish their arms, kick out their legs, fight, or even get up and dance at his will. (*28) Another had cultivated his voice to so great an extent that he could have made himself heard from one end of the world to the other. (*29) Another had so long an arm that he could sit down in Damascus and indite a letter at Bagdad—or indeed at any distance whatsoever. (*30) Another commanded the lightning to come down to him out of the heavens, and it came at his call; and served him for a plaything when it came. Another took two loud sounds and out of them made a silence. Another constructed a deep darkness out of two brilliant lights. (*31) Another made ice in a red-hot furnace. (*32) Another directed the sun to paint his portrait, and the sun did. (*33) Another took this luminary with the moon and the planets, and having first weighed them with scrupulous accuracy, probed into their depths and found out the solidity of the substance of which they were made. But the whole nation is, indeed, of so surprising a necromantic ability, that not even their infants, nor their commonest cats and dogs have any difficulty in seeing objects that do not exist at all, or that for twenty millions of years before the birth of the nation itself had been blotted out from the face of creation.’” (*34)

“‘Another one of these magicians, using a fluid that no one has ever seen, could make his friends’ corpses wave their arms, kick their legs, fight, or even get up and dance at his command. (*28) Another had trained his voice to such an extent that he could be heard from one side of the world to the other. (*29) Another had such a long arm that he could sit in Damascus and write a letter in Baghdad—or really at any distance. (*30) Another commanded lightning to come down from the sky, and it obeyed him; he used it as a toy when it arrived. Another took two loud sounds and created silence from them. Another made deep darkness from two bright lights. (*31) Another made ice in a blazing furnace. (*32) Another had the sun paint his portrait, and the sun did. (*33) Another took this luminary along with the moon and the planets, and after weighing them very carefully, explored their depths and discovered the material they were made of. But the whole nation possesses such astonishing necromantic skills that even their infants, and their most ordinary cats and dogs, have no trouble seeing things that don’t exist at all, or that had been erased from existence for twenty million years before the nation was even born.’” (*34)

“Preposterous!” said the king.

"Ridiculous!" said the king.

“‘The wives and daughters of these incomparably great and wise magi,’” continued Scheherazade, without being in any manner disturbed by these frequent and most ungentlemanly interruptions on the part of her husband—“‘the wives and daughters of these eminent conjurers are every thing that is accomplished and refined; and would be every thing that is interesting and beautiful, but for an unhappy fatality that besets them, and from which not even the miraculous powers of their husbands and fathers has, hitherto, been adequate to save. Some fatalities come in certain shapes, and some in others—but this of which I speak has come in the shape of a crotchet.’”

“‘The wives and daughters of these incredibly great and wise magicians,’” continued Scheherazade, undisturbed by her husband’s frequent and very rude interruptions—“‘the wives and daughters of these talented conjurers are everything that is skilled and refined; and would be everything that is captivating and beautiful, if it weren't for an unfortunate fate that haunts them, and from which even the extraordinary powers of their husbands and fathers have, so far, been unable to protect them. Some misfortunes appear in certain forms, and some in others—but the one I’m talking about has taken the form of a quirky obsession.’”

“A what?” said the king.

“A what?” asked the king.

“‘A crotchet’” said Scheherazade. “‘One of the evil genii, who are perpetually upon the watch to inflict ill, has put it into the heads of these accomplished ladies that the thing which we describe as personal beauty consists altogether in the protuberance of the region which lies not very far below the small of the back. Perfection of loveliness, they say, is in the direct ratio of the extent of this lump. Having been long possessed of this idea, and bolsters being cheap in that country, the days have long gone by since it was possible to distinguish a woman from a dromedary—’”

“‘A crotchet,’” said Scheherazade. “‘One of the evil spirits, who are always on the lookout to cause trouble, has convinced these skilled ladies that personal beauty is solely based on the size of the area just below the lower back. They claim that true beauty is directly related to the size of this lump. Having held onto this belief for a long time, and since cushions are inexpensive in that country, it has been ages since anyone could tell a woman apart from a dromedary—’”

“Stop!” said the king—“I can’t stand that, and I won’t. You have already given me a dreadful headache with your lies. The day, too, I perceive, is beginning to break. How long have we been married?—my conscience is getting to be troublesome again. And then that dromedary touch—do you take me for a fool? Upon the whole, you might as well get up and be throttled.”

“Stop!” said the king. “I can't take this anymore, and I won't. You've already given me a terrible headache with your lies. And I see that day is starting to break too. How long have we been married? My conscience is becoming a problem again. And that ridiculous touch—do you think I'm a fool? Overall, you might as well just get up and be choked.”

These words, as I learn from the “Isitsöornot,” both grieved and astonished Scheherazade; but, as she knew the king to be a man of scrupulous integrity, and quite unlikely to forfeit his word, she submitted to her fate with a good grace. She derived, however, great consolation, (during the tightening of the bowstring,) from the reflection that much of the history remained still untold, and that the petulance of her brute of a husband had reaped for him a most righteous reward, in depriving him of many inconceivable adventures.

These words, as I learn from the “Isitsöornot,” both saddened and surprised Scheherazade; but since she knew the king to be a man of solid integrity, unlikely to go back on his word, she accepted her fate with grace. However, she found great comfort (during the tightening of the bowstring) in the thought that much of the story was still untold and that her cruel husband was paying a fair price for his tantrums by missing out on many incredible adventures.

A DESCENT INTO THE MAELSTROM.

The ways of God in Nature, as in Providence, are not as our ways; nor are the models that we frame any way commensurate to the vastness, profundity, and unsearchableness of His works, which have a depth in them greater than the well of Democritus.

The ways of God in Nature, just like in Providence, aren’t like our ways; nor are the models we create anywhere near the vastness, depth, and mystery of His works, which have a depth greater than the well of Democritus.

Joseph Glanville.

Joseph Glanville.

We had now reached the summit of the loftiest crag. For some minutes the old man seemed too much exhausted to speak.

We had now reached the top of the highest cliff. For a few minutes, the old man appeared too tired to talk.

“Not long ago,” said he at length, “and I could have guided you on this route as well as the youngest of my sons; but, about three years past, there happened to me an event such as never happened to mortal man—or at least such as no man ever survived to tell of—and the six hours of deadly terror which I then endured have broken me up body and soul. You suppose me a very old man—but I am not. It took less than a single day to change these hairs from a jetty black to white, to weaken my limbs, and to unstring my nerves, so that I tremble at the least exertion, and am frightened at a shadow. Do you know I can scarcely look over this little cliff without getting giddy?”

"Not long ago," he said at last, "I could have guided you on this route as well as my youngest son; but about three years ago, something happened to me that has never happened to any other person—or at least no one has lived to tell about it—and the six hours of sheer terror that I went through have broken me physically and mentally. You might think I'm a very old man—but I'm not. It took less than a single day for my hair to turn from jet black to white, to weaken my limbs, and to fray my nerves, so that I tremble at the slightest effort and get scared at a shadow. Did you know I can hardly look over this little cliff without getting dizzy?"

The “little cliff,” upon whose edge he had so carelessly thrown himself down to rest that the weightier portion of his body hung over it, while he was only kept from falling by the tenure of his elbow on its extreme and slippery edge—this “little cliff” arose, a sheer unobstructed precipice of black shining rock, some fifteen or sixteen hundred feet from the world of crags beneath us. Nothing would have tempted me to within half a dozen yards of its brink. In truth so deeply was I excited by the perilous position of my companion, that I fell at full length upon the ground, clung to the shrubs around me, and dared not even glance upward at the sky—while I struggled in vain to divest myself of the idea that the very foundations of the mountain were in danger from the fury of the winds. It was long before I could reason myself into sufficient courage to sit up and look out into the distance.

The "little cliff," where he had so carelessly thrown himself down to rest, had most of his weight hanging over it, while he was only kept from falling by his elbow gripping its extreme and slippery edge—this "little cliff" was a steep, unobstructed drop of black, shiny rock, about fifteen or sixteen hundred feet above the world of crags below us. There was nothing that could have tempted me to get within six yards of its edge. In fact, I was so stirred by the dangerous position of my companion that I fell flat on the ground, gripping the shrubs around me, too scared to even look up at the sky—while I struggled in vain to shake off the thought that the very foundations of the mountain were threatened by the fierce winds. It took me a long time to gather enough courage to sit up and look out into the distance.

“You must get over these fancies,” said the guide, “for I have brought you here that you might have the best possible view of the scene of that event I mentioned—and to tell you the whole story with the spot just under your eye.”

“You need to let go of these daydreams,” said the guide, “because I’ve brought you here so you can get the best view of the place where that event I mentioned took place—and to tell you the whole story with the spot right in front of you.”

“We are now,” he continued, in that particularizing manner which distinguished him—“we are now close upon the Norwegian coast—in the sixty-eighth degree of latitude—in the great province of Nordland—and in the dreary district of Lofoden. The mountain upon whose top we sit is Helseggen, the Cloudy. Now raise yourself up a little higher—hold on to the grass if you feel giddy—so—and look out, beyond the belt of vapor beneath us, into the sea.”

“We are now,” he continued, with that distinctive way of speaking he had, “we are now close to the Norwegian coast—in the sixty-eighth degree of latitude—in the great province of Nordland—and in the bleak area of Lofoden. The mountain we’re sitting on top of is Helseggen, the Cloudy. Now, lift yourself up a little higher—hold on to the grass if you feel dizzy—there you go—and look out, past the mist below us, into the sea.”

I looked dizzily, and beheld a wide expanse of ocean, whose waters wore so inky a hue as to bring at once to my mind the Nubian geographer’s account of the Mare Tenebrarum. A panorama more deplorably desolate no human imagination can conceive. To the right and left, as far as the eye could reach, there lay outstretched, like ramparts of the world, lines of horridly black and beetling cliff, whose character of gloom was but the more forcibly illustrated by the surf which reared high up against its white and ghastly crest, howling and shrieking forever. Just opposite the promontory upon whose apex we were placed, and at a distance of some five or six miles out at sea, there was visible a small, bleak-looking island; or, more properly, its position was discernible through the wilderness of surge in which it was enveloped. About two miles nearer the land, arose another of smaller size, hideously craggy and barren, and encompassed at various intervals by a cluster of dark rocks.

I looked around, feeling dizzy, and saw a vast stretch of ocean, its waters so dark that it reminded me of the Nubian geographer’s description of the Mare Tenebrarum. No one could imagine a more hopelessly desolate view. To the right and left, as far as I could see, there were towering black cliffs, grim and foreboding, their darkness made even more pronounced by the waves crashing violently against their white and eerie tops, constantly howling and screaming. Directly across from the point where we stood, about five or six miles out at sea, I could see a small, bleak island; or, more accurately, I could spot its position through the chaotic waves surrounding it. Closer to shore, about two miles in, was another smaller island, frighteningly rocky and barren, surrounded at intervals by a cluster of dark rocks.

The appearance of the ocean, in the space between the more distant island and the shore, had something very unusual about it. Although, at the time, so strong a gale was blowing landward that a brig in the remote offing lay to under a double-reefed trysail, and constantly plunged her whole hull out of sight, still there was here nothing like a regular swell, but only a short, quick, angry cross dashing of water in every direction—as well in the teeth of the wind as otherwise. Of foam there was little except in the immediate vicinity of the rocks.

The look of the ocean, in the space between the far-off island and the shore, was really strange. Even though a strong wind was pushing toward the land, making a ship in the distance ride out under a double-reefed trysail and constantly dip its entire hull out of sight, there was nothing like a regular wave pattern; just a quick, angry splash of water shooting in every direction—even against the wind. There wasn't much foam except right by the rocks.

“The island in the distance,” resumed the old man, “is called by the Norwegians Vurrgh. The one midway is Moskoe. That a mile to the northward is Ambaaren. Yonder are Islesen, Hotholm, Keildhelm, Suarven, and Buckholm. Farther off—between Moskoe and Vurrgh—are Otterholm, Flimen, Sandflesen, and Stockholm. These are the true names of the places—but why it has been thought necessary to name them at all, is more than either you or I can understand. Do you hear anything? Do you see any change in the water?”

“The island over there,” the old man continued, “is called Vurrgh by the Norwegians. The one in the middle is Moskoe. That mile to the north is Ambaaren. Over there are Islesen, Hotholm, Keildhelm, Suarven, and Buckholm. Further away—between Moskoe and Vurrgh—are Otterholm, Flimen, Sandflesen, and Stockholm. Those are the actual names of the places—but why anyone decided they needed names at all is something neither of us can figure out. Do you hear anything? Do you see any change in the water?”

We had now been about ten minutes upon the top of Helseggen, to which we had ascended from the interior of Lofoden, so that we had caught no glimpse of the sea until it had burst upon us from the summit. As the old man spoke, I became aware of a loud and gradually increasing sound, like the moaning of a vast herd of buffaloes upon an American prairie; and at the same moment I perceived that what seamen term the chopping character of the ocean beneath us, was rapidly changing into a current which set to the eastward. Even while I gazed, this current acquired a monstrous velocity. Each moment added to its speed—to its headlong impetuosity. In five minutes the whole sea, as far as Vurrgh, was lashed into ungovernable fury; but it was between Moskoe and the coast that the main uproar held its sway. Here the vast bed of the waters, seamed and scarred into a thousand conflicting channels, burst suddenly into phrensied convulsion—heaving, boiling, hissing—gyrating in gigantic and innumerable vortices, and all whirling and plunging on to the eastward with a rapidity which water never elsewhere assumes except in precipitous descents.

We had been at the top of Helseggen for about ten minutes, having climbed up from the interior of Lofoden, so we hadn't seen the sea until it opened up before us from the summit. As the old man spoke, I noticed a loud, growing sound, like the moaning of a massive herd of buffalo on an American prairie; at the same moment, I realized that what sailors call the chopping nature of the ocean below us was quickly transforming into a current moving eastward. Even as I watched, this current gained a monstrous speed. With each passing moment, it grew faster—more furious. In five minutes, the entire sea, as far as Vurrgh, was whipped into uncontrollable chaos; but the main tumult was between Moskoe and the coast. Here, the vast expanse of water, marked and carved into a thousand conflicting channels, suddenly erupted into frenzied turmoil—heaving, boiling, hissing—twisting in gigantic and countless whirlpools, all rushing eastward with a velocity that water only achieves in steep descents.

In a few minutes more, there came over the scene another radical alteration. The general surface grew somewhat more smooth, and the whirlpools, one by one, disappeared, while prodigious streaks of foam became apparent where none had been seen before. These streaks, at length, spreading out to a great distance, and entering into combination, took unto themselves the gyratory motion of the subsided vortices, and seemed to form the germ of another more vast. Suddenly—very suddenly—this assumed a distinct and definite existence, in a circle of more than a mile in diameter. The edge of the whirl was represented by a broad belt of gleaming spray; but no particle of this slipped into the mouth of the terrific funnel, whose interior, as far as the eye could fathom it, was a smooth, shining, and jet-black wall of water, inclined to the horizon at an angle of some forty-five degrees, speeding dizzily round and round with a swaying and sweltering motion, and sending forth to the winds an appalling voice, half shriek, half roar, such as not even the mighty cataract of Niagara ever lifts up in its agony to Heaven.

In just a few minutes, the scene underwent another major change. The surface became smoother, and the whirlpools gradually vanished, revealing huge streaks of foam that hadn’t been seen before. These streaks eventually spread out over a great distance and combined, taking on the swirling motion of the subsided vortices, and appeared to form the beginning of something much larger. Suddenly—very suddenly—this took on a clear and definite shape, forming a circle over a mile in diameter. The edge of the whirl was marked by a wide band of bright spray, but nothing entered the mouth of the terrifying funnel, whose inside, as far as the eye could see, was a smooth, shiny, jet-black wall of water, slanting towards the horizon at an angle of about forty-five degrees, spinning rapidly with a swaying and boiling motion, and issuing an overwhelming sound to the winds, a mix of half shriek and half roar, unlike anything that even the powerful Niagara Falls has ever raised to the heavens in its torment.

The mountain trembled to its very base, and the rock rocked. I threw myself upon my face, and clung to the scant herbage in an excess of nervous agitation.

The mountain shook all the way to its base, and the rocks swayed. I threw myself down on my face and clutched the sparse grass in a wave of nervous anxiety.

“This,” said I at length, to the old man—“this can be nothing else than the great whirlpool of the Maelström.”

“This,” I finally said to the old man—“this can be nothing else but the great whirlpool of the Maelström.”

“So it is sometimes termed,” said he. “We Norwegians call it the Moskoe-ström, from the island of Moskoe in the midway.”

“So it’s sometimes called,” he said. “We Norwegians refer to it as the Moskoe-ström, named after the island of Moskoe in the middle.”

The ordinary accounts of this vortex had by no means prepared me for what I saw. That of Jonas Ramus, which is perhaps the most circumstantial of any, cannot impart the faintest conception either of the magnificence, or of the horror of the scene—or of the wild bewildering sense of the novel which confounds the beholder. I am not sure from what point of view the writer in question surveyed it, nor at what time; but it could neither have been from the summit of Helseggen, nor during a storm. There are some passages of his description, nevertheless, which may be quoted for their details, although their effect is exceedingly feeble in conveying an impression of the spectacle.

The usual descriptions of this vortex definitely didn’t prepare me for what I saw. Jonas Ramus's account, which is probably the most detailed of all, fails to capture even a hint of the awe or dread of the scene—or the overwhelming sense of the novel that confuses the viewer. I’m not sure what perspective the writer had or when he wrote it, but it couldn't have been from the peak of Helseggen or during a storm. However, there are some parts of his description that can be quoted for their details, even though they do a poor job of conveying the impression of the spectacle.

“Between Lofoden and Moskoe,” he says, “the depth of the water is between thirty-six and forty fathoms; but on the other side, toward Ver (Vurrgh) this depth decreases so as not to afford a convenient passage for a vessel, without the risk of splitting on the rocks, which happens even in the calmest weather. When it is flood, the stream runs up the country between Lofoden and Moskoe with a boisterous rapidity; but the roar of its impetuous ebb to the sea is scarce equalled by the loudest and most dreadful cataracts; the noise being heard several leagues off, and the vortices or pits are of such an extent and depth, that if a ship comes within its attraction, it is inevitably absorbed and carried down to the bottom, and there beat to pieces against the rocks; and when the water relaxes, the fragments thereof are thrown up again. But these intervals of tranquility are only at the turn of the ebb and flood, and in calm weather, and last but a quarter of an hour, its violence gradually returning. When the stream is most boisterous, and its fury heightened by a storm, it is dangerous to come within a Norway mile of it. Boats, yachts, and ships have been carried away by not guarding against it before they were within its reach. It likewise happens frequently, that whales come too near the stream, and are overpowered by its violence; and then it is impossible to describe their howlings and bellowings in their fruitless struggles to disengage themselves. A bear once, attempting to swim from Lofoden to Moskoe, was caught by the stream and borne down, while he roared terribly, so as to be heard on shore. Large stocks of firs and pine trees, after being absorbed by the current, rise again broken and torn to such a degree as if bristles grew upon them. This plainly shows the bottom to consist of craggy rocks, among which they are whirled to and fro. This stream is regulated by the flux and reflux of the sea—it being constantly high and low water every six hours. In the year 1645, early in the morning of Sexagesima Sunday, it raged with such noise and impetuosity that the very stones of the houses on the coast fell to the ground.”

“Between Lofoten and Moskoe,” he says, “the water is about thirty-six to forty fathoms deep; but on the other side, toward Ver (Vurrgh), the depth decreases, making it difficult for a boat to pass without risking a collision with the rocks, which can happen even in the calmest weather. When the tide rises, the current runs inland between Lofoten and Moskoe with a wild intensity; the sound of its powerful ebb tide crashing into the sea is almost as loud as the fiercest waterfalls, echoing for miles. The whirlpools or pits are so vast and deep that if a ship gets too close, it’s inevitably pulled in and dragged down to the bottom, where it gets smashed against the rocks, and when the water calms down, the wreckage is pushed back up. However, these calm moments only happen briefly at the change of the tides and in good weather, lasting just about fifteen minutes before the violence returns. When the current is wild and even more intense during a storm, it’s dangerous to come within a Norway mile of it. Boats, yachts, and ships have been swept away for not being cautious before getting too close. It also happens often that whales venture too near the current and are overwhelmed by its force; their howls and bellows in their desperate attempts to escape are impossible to describe. Once, a bear trying to swim from Lofoten to Moskoe got caught in the current and was swept away, roaring loudly enough to be heard from the shore. Large logs of fir and pine trees, after being caught in the current, resurfaced broken and splintered as if covered in bristles. This clearly indicates that the bottom is made up of rocky crags, among which they are tossed around. This current is driven by the tides of the sea, constantly rising and falling every six hours. In 1645, early on the morning of Sexagesima Sunday, it raged with such noise and force that the very stones of the houses on the coast fell to the ground.”

In regard to the depth of the water, I could not see how this could have been ascertained at all in the immediate vicinity of the vortex. The “forty fathoms” must have reference only to portions of the channel close upon the shore either of Moskoe or Lofoden. The depth in the centre of the Moskoe-ström must be immeasurably greater; and no better proof of this fact is necessary than can be obtained from even the sidelong glance into the abyss of the whirl which may be had from the highest crag of Helseggen. Looking down from this pinnacle upon the howling Phlegethon below, I could not help smiling at the simplicity with which the honest Jonas Ramus records, as a matter difficult of belief, the anecdotes of the whales and the bears; for it appeared to me, in fact, a self-evident thing, that the largest ship of the line in existence, coming within the influence of that deadly attraction, could resist it as little as a feather the hurricane, and must disappear bodily and at once.

Regarding the water's depth, I couldn't understand how anyone could have figured it out near the vortex. The “forty fathoms” must only refer to parts of the channel close to the shores of Moskoe or Lofoden. The depth in the center of the Moskoe-ström must be vastly greater; and there's no better proof of this than a sideways glance into the whirlpool's abyss from the highest peak of Helseggen. Looking down from this height at the raging Phlegethon below, I couldn't help but smile at how simply the honest Jonas Ramus describes, as if it were hard to believe, the stories of the whales and bears. To me, it was crystal clear that the largest ship in existence, caught in that deadly pull, would be as helpless as a feather in a hurricane and would vanish completely and instantly.

The attempts to account for the phenomenon—some of which, I remember, seemed to me sufficiently plausible in perusal—now wore a very different and unsatisfactory aspect. The idea generally received is that this, as well as three smaller vortices among the Ferroe islands, “have no other cause than the collision of waves rising and falling, at flux and reflux, against a ridge of rocks and shelves, which confines the water so that it precipitates itself like a cataract; and thus the higher the flood rises, the deeper must the fall be, and the natural result of all is a whirlpool or vortex, the prodigious suction of which is sufficiently known by lesser experiments.”—These are the words of the Encyclopædia Britannica. Kircher and others imagine that in the centre of the channel of the Maelström is an abyss penetrating the globe, and issuing in some very remote part—the Gulf of Bothnia being somewhat decidedly named in one instance. This opinion, idle in itself, was the one to which, as I gazed, my imagination most readily assented; and, mentioning it to the guide, I was rather surprised to hear him say that, although it was the view almost universally entertained of the subject by the Norwegians, it nevertheless was not his own. As to the former notion he confessed his inability to comprehend it; and here I agreed with him—for, however conclusive on paper, it becomes altogether unintelligible, and even absurd, amid the thunder of the abyss.

The attempts to explain the phenomenon—some of which, I remember, seemed fairly plausible when I read them—now looked very different and unsatisfactory. The common belief is that this, along with three smaller vortices near the Ferroe islands, “has no other cause than the collision of waves rising and falling, at high and low tide, against a ridge of rocks and shelves, which confines the water so that it crashes down like a waterfall; and thus the higher the flood rises, the deeper the fall must be, resulting in a whirlpool or vortex, the strong suction of which is well known from smaller experiments.” —These are the words of the Encyclopædia Britannica. Kircher and others believe that at the center of the Maelström's channel is an abyss that reaches into the earth and comes out in some very distant place—the Gulf of Bothnia being specifically mentioned in one case. This idea, though silly in itself, was the one my imagination most readily accepted as I gazed; and when I mentioned it to the guide, I was surprised to hear him say that while it was the view almost universally held by Norwegians, it wasn't his own. As for the former idea, he admitted he couldn't understand it; and I agreed with him—because, no matter how convincing it sounds on paper, it becomes completely incomprehensible, and even ridiculous, amid the roar of the abyss.

“You have had a good look at the whirl now,” said the old man, “and if you will creep round this crag, so as to get in its lee, and deaden the roar of the water, I will tell you a story that will convince you I ought to know something of the Moskoe-ström.”

“You’ve had a good look at the whirl now,” said the old man, “and if you will sneak around this cliff to get out of the wind and muffle the sound of the water, I’ll tell you a story that will make you believe I know something about the Moskoe-ström.”

I placed myself as desired, and he proceeded.

I positioned myself as he wanted, and he continued.

“Myself and my two brothers once owned a schooner-rigged smack of about seventy tons burthen, with which we were in the habit of fishing among the islands beyond Moskoe, nearly to Vurrgh. In all violent eddies at sea there is good fishing, at proper opportunities, if one has only the courage to attempt it; but among the whole of the Lofoden coastmen, we three were the only ones who made a regular business of going out to the islands, as I tell you. The usual grounds are a great way lower down to the southward. There fish can be got at all hours, without much risk, and therefore these places are preferred. The choice spots over here among the rocks, however, not only yield the finest variety, but in far greater abundance; so that we often got in a single day, what the more timid of the craft could not scrape together in a week. In fact, we made it a matter of desperate speculation—the risk of life standing instead of labor, and courage answering for capital.

My two brothers and I once owned a schooner-rigged smack that weighed about seventy tons. We used it for fishing among the islands beyond Moskoe, nearly up to Vurrgh. In all the rough waters at sea, there's great fishing if you're brave enough to try it. But among all the fishermen on the Lofoden coast, we were the only ones who regularly went out to the islands, as I mentioned. Most fishermen worked much further south, where the fish could be caught at any hour with little risk, making those spots more popular. However, the prime locations here among the rocks offered not only better variety but also much larger quantities. Because of this, we often caught in one day what the more cautious fishermen couldn't gather in a week. In fact, we turned it into a risky venture—the danger of life replacing hard work, and bravery standing in for investment.

“We kept the smack in a cove about five miles higher up the coast than this; and it was our practice, in fine weather, to take advantage of the fifteen minutes’ slack to push across the main channel of the Moskoe-ström, far above the pool, and then drop down upon anchorage somewhere near Otterholm, or Sandflesen, where the eddies are not so violent as elsewhere. Here we used to remain until nearly time for slack-water again, when we weighed and made for home. We never set out upon this expedition without a steady side wind for going and coming—one that we felt sure would not fail us before our return—and we seldom made a mis-calculation upon this point. Twice, during six years, we were forced to stay all night at anchor on account of a dead calm, which is a rare thing indeed just about here; and once we had to remain on the grounds nearly a week, starving to death, owing to a gale which blew up shortly after our arrival, and made the channel too boisterous to be thought of. Upon this occasion we should have been driven out to sea in spite of everything, (for the whirlpools threw us round and round so violently, that, at length, we fouled our anchor and dragged it) if it had not been that we drifted into one of the innumerable cross currents—here to-day and gone to-morrow—which drove us under the lee of Flimen, where, by good luck, we brought up.

“We kept the boat in a cove about five miles up the coast from here; and it was our routine, in nice weather, to take advantage of the fifteen minutes of calm to cross the main channel of the Moskoe-ström, well above the pool, and then anchor somewhere near Otterholm or Sandflesen, where the currents aren’t as rough. We would stay there until it was almost time for another slack-water, when we’d weigh anchor and head home. We never set out on this trip without a steady side wind for both going and coming—one we were confident wouldn’t let us down before we got back—and we rarely miscalculated this. Twice in six years, we had to stay overnight at anchor because of a dead calm, which is indeed quite rare around here; and once we had to remain in the area for almost a week, starving, due to a sudden gale that kicked up shortly after we arrived, making the channel too rough to consider. On that occasion, we would have been pushed out to sea regardless, (since the whirlpools spun us around so violently that we eventually snagged our anchor and dragged it) if it hadn’t been for a random cross current—here today and gone tomorrow—that swept us under the shelter of Flimen, where, luckily, we were able to anchor.”

“I could not tell you the twentieth part of the difficulties we encountered ‘on the grounds’—it is a bad spot to be in, even in good weather—but we made shift always to run the gauntlet of the Moskoe-ström itself without accident; although at times my heart has been in my mouth when we happened to be a minute or so behind or before the slack. The wind sometimes was not as strong as we thought it at starting, and then we made rather less way than we could wish, while the current rendered the smack unmanageable. My eldest brother had a son eighteen years old, and I had two stout boys of my own. These would have been of great assistance at such times, in using the sweeps, as well as afterward in fishing—but, somehow, although we ran the risk ourselves, we had not the heart to let the young ones get into the danger—for, after all is said and done, it was a horrible danger, and that is the truth.

“I couldn’t tell you a fraction of the challenges we faced ‘on the grounds’—it’s a tough place to be, even in nice weather—but we always managed to navigate the Moskoe-ström without any accidents; although there were times my heart raced when we happened to be just a minute or so behind or ahead of the slack. Sometimes the wind wasn’t as strong as we expected at the start, which made our progress slower than we hoped, while the current made the boat hard to control. My oldest brother had an eighteen-year-old son, and I had two strong boys of my own. They would have been really helpful at times like this, both with the sweeps and later with fishing—but somehow, even though we took the risk ourselves, we didn’t have the heart to let the young ones face the danger—because, when all is said and done, it really was a terrible danger, and that’s the truth.”

“It is now within a few days of three years since what I am going to tell you occurred. It was on the tenth day of July, 18—, a day which the people of this part of the world will never forget—for it was one in which blew the most terrible hurricane that ever came out of the heavens. And yet all the morning, and indeed until late in the afternoon, there was a gentle and steady breeze from the south-west, while the sun shone brightly, so that the oldest seaman among us could not have foreseen what was to follow.

“It’s now just a few days shy of three years since what I’m about to tell you happened. It was on July 10, 18—, a day that the people in this part of the world will never forget—because it was when the most terrible hurricane ever came from the sky. Yet, all morning, and even until late in the afternoon, there was a gentle and steady breeze from the southwest, while the sun shone brightly, so much so that the oldest sailor among us couldn’t have predicted what was about to happen.”

“The three of us—my two brothers and myself—had crossed over to the islands about two o’clock P. M., and had soon nearly loaded the smack with fine fish, which, we all remarked, were more plenty that day than we had ever known them. It was just seven, by my watch, when we weighed and started for home, so as to make the worst of the Ström at slack water, which we knew would be at eight.

“The three of us—my two brothers and I—had crossed over to the islands around 2 PM and had soon nearly loaded the boat with great fish, which we all noted were more abundant that day than we had ever seen. It was just 7, by my watch, when we set sail and headed home, intending to tackle the roughest part of the Ström during slack water, which we knew would be at 8.”

“We set out with a fresh wind on our starboard quarter, and for some time spanked along at a great rate, never dreaming of danger, for indeed we saw not the slightest reason to apprehend it. All at once we were taken aback by a breeze from over Helseggen. This was most unusual—something that had never happened to us before—and I began to feel a little uneasy, without exactly knowing why. We put the boat on the wind, but could make no headway at all for the eddies, and I was upon the point of proposing to return to the anchorage, when, looking astern, we saw the whole horizon covered with a singular copper-colored cloud that rose with the most amazing velocity.

“We set out with a fresh wind coming from our right side, and for a while, we moved along swiftly, not even thinking about danger because we had no reason to be concerned. Suddenly, we were caught off guard by a gust coming from over Helseggen. This was very unusual—something that had never happened to us before—and I started to feel a bit uneasy, though I wasn't sure why. We adjusted the boat's position to face the wind, but we couldn't make any progress against the currents, and just as I was about to suggest heading back to the safe spot, I looked back and saw the entire horizon covered with a strange copper-colored cloud rising at an incredible speed.

“In the meantime the breeze that had headed us off fell away, and we were dead becalmed, drifting about in every direction. This state of things, however, did not last long enough to give us time to think about it. In less than a minute the storm was upon us—in less than two the sky was entirely overcast—and what with this and the driving spray, it became suddenly so dark that we could not see each other in the smack.

"In the meantime, the breeze that had been against us faded away, and we were completely still, drifting in every direction. However, this situation didn’t last long enough for us to really think about it. In less than a minute, the storm hit us—in less than two, the sky was completely overcast—and with this and the heavy spray, it suddenly got so dark that we couldn’t see each other in the boat."

“Such a hurricane as then blew it is folly to attempt describing. The oldest seaman in Norway never experienced any thing like it. We had let our sails go by the run before it cleverly took us; but, at the first puff, both our masts went by the board as if they had been sawed off—the mainmast taking with it my youngest brother, who had lashed himself to it for safety.

“Trying to describe the hurricane that hit us is pointless. Even the oldest seaman in Norway had never seen anything like it. We had set our sails to run before it when it surprised us, but with the first gust, both our masts snapped off as if they had been sawed. The mainmast took down my youngest brother, who had tied himself to it for safety.”

“Our boat was the lightest feather of a thing that ever sat upon water. It had a complete flush deck, with only a small hatch near the bow, and this hatch it had always been our custom to batten down when about to cross the Ström, by way of precaution against the chopping seas. But for this circumstance we should have foundered at once—for we lay entirely buried for some moments. How my elder brother escaped destruction I cannot say, for I never had an opportunity of ascertaining. For my part, as soon as I had let the foresail run, I threw myself flat on deck, with my feet against the narrow gunwale of the bow, and with my hands grasping a ring-bolt near the foot of the fore-mast. It was mere instinct that prompted me to do this—which was undoubtedly the very best thing I could have done—for I was too much flurried to think.

“Our boat was the lightest feather that had ever sat on water. It had a completely flat deck, with just a small hatch near the front, and it had always been our practice to secure this hatch when crossing the Ström as a precaution against rough seas. If it weren't for this precaution, we would have sunk immediately since we were completely submerged for a few moments. I can't explain how my older brother survived, as I never had the chance to find out. As for me, as soon as I let the foresail out, I threw myself flat on the deck, with my feet braced against the narrow edge at the front and my hands gripping a ring-bolt near the base of the foremast. It was pure instinct that made me do this, which was definitely the best thing I could have done—I was too panicked to think clearly.”

“For some moments we were completely deluged, as I say, and all this time I held my breath, and clung to the bolt. When I could stand it no longer I raised myself upon my knees, still keeping hold with my hands, and thus got my head clear. Presently our little boat gave herself a shake, just as a dog does in coming out of the water, and thus rid herself, in some measure, of the seas. I was now trying to get the better of the stupor that had come over me, and to collect my senses so as to see what was to be done, when I felt somebody grasp my arm. It was my elder brother, and my heart leaped for joy, for I had made sure that he was overboard—but the next moment all this joy was turned into horror—for he put his mouth close to my ear, and screamed out the word ‘Moskoe-ström!

“For a few moments, we were completely overwhelmed, as I said, and during that time, I held my breath and clung to the bolt. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I got up on my knees, still holding on with my hands, and finally got my head above water. Soon, our little boat shook itself off, just like a dog does when it comes out of the water, and got rid of some of the waves. I was now trying to shake off the daze that had come over me and gather my thoughts to figure out what to do when I felt someone grab my arm. It was my older brother, and my heart leaped with joy, because I thought he was overboard—but in the next moment, all that joy turned into horror—he put his mouth close to my ear and screamed the word ‘Moskoe-ström!’”

“No one ever will know what my feelings were at that moment. I shook from head to foot as if I had had the most violent fit of the ague. I knew what he meant by that one word well enough—I knew what he wished to make me understand. With the wind that now drove us on, we were bound for the whirl of the Ström, and nothing could save us!

"No one will ever know what I felt at that moment. I shook from head to toe as if I had the worst fever. I understood exactly what he meant by that one word—I knew what he wanted me to understand. With the wind pushing us forward, we were headed straight for the whirlpool of the Ström, and nothing could save us!"

“You perceive that in crossing the Ström channel, we always went a long way up above the whirl, even in the calmest weather, and then had to wait and watch carefully for the slack—but now we were driving right upon the pool itself, and in such a hurricane as this! ‘To be sure,’ I thought, ‘we shall get there just about the slack—there is some little hope in that’—but in the next moment I cursed myself for being so great a fool as to dream of hope at all. I knew very well that we were doomed, had we been ten times a ninety-gun ship.

“You realize that while crossing the Ström channel, we always made a long detour above the whirlpool, even in the calmest weather, then had to wait and watch closely for the slack—but now we were heading straight into the pool itself, and in a storm like this! ‘Of course,’ I thought, ‘we might just make it to the slack—there’s a bit of hope in that’—but a moment later, I cursed myself for being such a fool to think of hope at all. I knew very well that we were doomed, even if we were on a ship with a hundred guns.”

“By this time the first fury of the tempest had spent itself, or perhaps we did not feel it so much, as we scudded before it, but at all events the seas, which at first had been kept down by the wind, and lay flat and frothing, now got up into absolute mountains. A singular change, too, had come over the heavens. Around in every direction it was still as black as pitch, but nearly overhead there burst out, all at once, a circular rift of clear sky—as clear as I ever saw—and of a deep bright blue—and through it there blazed forth the full moon with a lustre that I never before knew her to wear. She lit up every thing about us with the greatest distinctness—but, oh God, what a scene it was to light up!

By this point, the initial fury of the storm had calmed down, or maybe we just didn’t feel it as much as we dashed through it, but in any case, the waves, which had initially stayed low due to the wind and were flat and frothy, were now rising into massive mountains. A strange change had also taken place in the sky. Everywhere around us, it was still pitch black, but almost directly above, a circular patch of clear sky suddenly opened up—so clear as I’ve ever seen it—and a deep bright blue. Through this opening, the full moon shone brightly with a radiance I had never seen before. It illuminated everything around us with incredible clarity—but, oh God, what a scene it was to illuminate!

“I now made one or two attempts to speak to my brother—but, in some manner which I could not understand, the din had so increased that I could not make him hear a single word, although I screamed at the top of my voice in his ear. Presently he shook his head, looking as pale as death, and held up one of his fingers, as if to say ‘listen! ‘

“I tried a couple of times to talk to my brother, but for some reason I couldn’t understand, the noise had gotten so loud that he couldn’t hear a word I was saying, even though I was yelling in his ear. Soon, he shook his head, looking as pale as a ghost, and raised a finger as if to say ‘listen! ‘

“At first I could not make out what he meant—but soon a hideous thought flashed upon me. I dragged my watch from its fob. It was not going. I glanced at its face by the moonlight, and then burst into tears as I flung it far away into the ocean. It had run down at seven o’clock! We were behind the time of the slack, and the whirl of the Ström was in full fury!

“At first, I couldn’t figure out what he meant—but then a terrible thought hit me. I pulled my watch from my pocket. It wasn’t working. I looked at its face in the moonlight, and then I broke down in tears as I threw it far into the ocean. It had stopped at seven o’clock! We were behind the timing of the slack, and the current of the Ström was at full force!

“When a boat is well built, properly trimmed, and not deep laden, the waves in a strong gale, when she is going large, seem always to slip from beneath her—which appears very strange to a landsman—and this is what is called riding, in sea phrase.

“When a boat is well built, properly balanced, and not heavily loaded, the waves in a strong storm, when she is sailing downwind, always seem to slide underneath her—which looks very odd to someone from land—and this is what is called riding, in nautical terms.

“Well, so far we had ridden the swells very cleverly; but presently a gigantic sea happened to take us right under the counter, and bore us with it as it rose—up—up—as if into the sky. I would not have believed that any wave could rise so high. And then down we came with a sweep, a slide, and a plunge, that made me feel sick and dizzy, as if I was falling from some lofty mountain-top in a dream. But while we were up I had thrown a quick glance around—and that one glance was all sufficient. I saw our exact position in an instant. The Moskoe-Ström whirlpool was about a quarter of a mile dead ahead—but no more like the every-day Moskoe-Ström than the whirl as you now see it, is like a mill-race. If I had not known where we were, and what we had to expect, I should not have recognised the place at all. As it was, I involuntarily closed my eyes in horror. The lids clenched themselves together as if in a spasm.

“Well, so far we had navigated the waves pretty smartly; but then a huge wave caught us off guard and lifted us up—up—up—almost like we were flying into the sky. I wouldn’t have believed that any wave could rise that high. And then we came crashing down with a sweep, a slide, and a plunge that left me feeling nauseous and dizzy, as if I were falling off a tall mountain in a dream. But while we were up there, I managed to take a quick look around—and that one glance was all I needed. I instantly saw exactly where we were. The Moskoe-Ström whirlpool was about a quarter of a mile directly ahead—but it looked nothing like the usual Moskoe-Ström; it resembled a millrace more than anything else. If I hadn’t known where we were and what to expect, I wouldn’t have recognized the place at all. As it was, I instinctively shut my eyes in fear. My eyelids clenched together as if in a spasm.”

“It could not have been more than two minutes afterward until we suddenly felt the waves subside, and were enveloped in foam. The boat made a sharp half turn to larboard, and then shot off in its new direction like a thunderbolt. At the same moment the roaring noise of the water was completely drowned in a kind of shrill shriek—such a sound as you might imagine given out by the waste-pipes of many thousand steam-vessels, letting off their steam all together. We were now in the belt of surf that always surrounds the whirl; and I thought, of course, that another moment would plunge us into the abyss, down which we could only see indistinctly on account of the amazing velocity with which we wore borne along. The boat did not seem to sink into the water at all, but to skim like an air-bubble upon the surface of the surge. Her starboard side was next the whirl, and on the larboard arose the world of ocean we had left. It stood like a huge writhing wall between us and the horizon.

“It couldn't have been more than two minutes later when we suddenly felt the waves calm down and got surrounded by foam. The boat made a sharp half turn to the left and then shot off in its new direction like a lightning bolt. At the same time, the roaring noise of the water was completely drowned out by a kind of high-pitched shriek—like the sound you might imagine coming from the exhaust pipes of thousands of steamships releasing their steam all at once. We were now in the area of surf that always surrounds the whirlpool, and I thought that in another moment we would plunge into the abyss, which we could only see vaguely because of the incredible speed at which we were being carried along. The boat didn’t seem to sink into the water at all, but skimmed like a bubble on the surface of the waves. Its right side faced the whirlpool, and on the left rose the ocean we had just left behind. It stood like a massive, twisting wall between us and the horizon.”

“It may appear strange, but now, when we were in the very jaws of the gulf, I felt more composed than when we were only approaching it. Having made up my mind to hope no more, I got rid of a great deal of that terror which unmanned me at first. I suppose it was despair that strung my nerves.

“It might seem odd, but now, when we were right in the thick of it, I felt more at ease than when we were just getting close. Once I decided to give up hope, I shed a lot of that fear that had overwhelmed me at first. I guess it was despair that steadied my nerves.”

“It may look like boasting—but what I tell you is truth—I began to reflect how magnificent a thing it was to die in such a manner, and how foolish it was in me to think of so paltry a consideration as my own individual life, in view of so wonderful a manifestation of God’s power. I do believe that I blushed with shame when this idea crossed my mind. After a little while I became possessed with the keenest curiosity about the whirl itself. I positively felt a wish to explore its depths, even at the sacrifice I was going to make; and my principal grief was that I should never be able to tell my old companions on shore about the mysteries I should see. These, no doubt, were singular fancies to occupy a man’s mind in such extremity—and I have often thought since, that the revolutions of the boat around the pool might have rendered me a little light-headed.

“It might seem like bragging—but I assure you it's the truth—I started to realize how incredible it was to die like that, and how foolish I was to worry about something as trivial as my own life, considering such an amazing display of God’s power. I really believe I blushed with shame when this thought hit me. After a bit, I became intensely curious about the whirlpool itself. I genuinely felt a desire to explore its depths, even at the cost of my life; and my biggest regret was that I wouldn’t be able to tell my old friends on shore about the wonders I would encounter. These were certainly strange thoughts for someone in such a dire situation—and I’ve often wondered since if the spinning of the boat around the pool made me a little dizzy.”

“There was another circumstance which tended to restore my self-possession; and this was the cessation of the wind, which could not reach us in our present situation—for, as you saw yourself, the belt of surf is considerably lower than the general bed of the ocean, and this latter now towered above us, a high, black, mountainous ridge. If you have never been at sea in a heavy gale, you can form no idea of the confusion of mind occasioned by the wind and spray together. They blind, deafen, and strangle you, and take away all power of action or reflection. But we were now, in a great measure, rid of these annoyances—just as death-condemned felons in prison are allowed petty indulgences, forbidden them while their doom is yet uncertain.

“There was another factor that helped me regain my composure, and that was the stopping of the wind, which couldn’t reach us in our current position—because, as you saw yourself, the surf was much lower than the general ocean floor, and this now rose above us like a high, dark, mountainous ridge. If you’ve never been at sea during a strong storm, you can't imagine the mental chaos caused by the combination of wind and spray. They blind, deafen, and suffocate you, stripping away all ability to act or think. But we were now largely free from these disturbances—much like condemned prisoners are allowed small comforts while waiting for their fate.”

“How often we made the circuit of the belt it is impossible to say. We careered round and round for perhaps an hour, flying rather than floating, getting gradually more and more into the middle of the surge, and then nearer and nearer to its horrible inner edge. All this time I had never let go of the ring-bolt. My brother was at the stern, holding on to a small empty water-cask which had been securely lashed under the coop of the counter, and was the only thing on deck that had not been swept overboard when the gale first took us. As we approached the brink of the pit he let go his hold upon this, and made for the ring, from which, in the agony of his terror, he endeavored to force my hands, as it was not large enough to afford us both a secure grasp. I never felt deeper grief than when I saw him attempt this act—although I knew he was a madman when he did it—a raving maniac through sheer fright. I did not care, however, to contest the point with him. I knew it could make no difference whether either of us held on at all; so I let him have the bolt, and went astern to the cask. This there was no great difficulty in doing; for the smack flew round steadily enough, and upon an even keel—only swaying to and fro, with the immense sweeps and swelters of the whirl. Scarcely had I secured myself in my new position, when we gave a wild lurch to starboard, and rushed headlong into the abyss. I muttered a hurried prayer to God, and thought all was over.

“How often we went around the belt is hard to say. We sped around for maybe an hour, flying rather than floating, gradually getting deeper into the surge, and closer and closer to its terrifying inner edge. All this time, I never let go of the ring-bolt. My brother was at the back, hanging on to a small empty water-cask that had been securely tied under the coop of the counter, and was the only thing on deck that hadn’t been swept overboard when the storm first hit us. As we neared the edge of the pit, he let go of it and reached for the ring, trying to force my hands away in the panic of his terror, since it wasn’t big enough for both of us to hold on securely. I never felt deeper sadness than when I saw him try to do this—even though I knew he had lost his mind, just a raving maniac from sheer fear. I didn’t want to argue with him, though. I knew it wouldn’t matter if either of us held on at all, so I let him take the bolt and went to the cask. There wasn’t much trouble doing this; the boat turned steadily enough, staying level—only swaying back and forth with the huge swells of the whirl. Hardly had I secured myself in my new position when we suddenly lurched to the right and plunged headlong into the abyss. I muttered a quick prayer to God and thought it was all over.

“As I felt the sickening sweep of the descent, I had instinctively tightened my hold upon the barrel, and closed my eyes. For some seconds I dared not open them—while I expected instant destruction, and wondered that I was not already in my death-struggles with the water. But moment after moment elapsed. I still lived. The sense of falling had ceased; and the motion of the vessel seemed much as it had been before, while in the belt of foam, with the exception that she now lay more along. I took courage, and looked once again upon the scene.

“As I felt the sickening rush of the descent, I instinctively tightened my grip on the barrel and closed my eyes. For a few seconds, I couldn’t dare to open them—afraid of instant destruction, and puzzled that I wasn't already fighting for my life in the water. But moment after moment passed. I was still alive. The feeling of falling had stopped, and the movement of the vessel seemed much like it had before, while in the foam, except that it was now lying more on its side. I gathered my courage and looked again at the scene.

“Never shall I forget the sensations of awe, horror, and admiration with which I gazed about me. The boat appeared to be hanging, as if by magic, midway down, upon the interior surface of a funnel vast in circumference, prodigious in depth, and whose perfectly smooth sides might have been mistaken for ebony, but for the bewildering rapidity with which they spun around, and for the gleaming and ghastly radiance they shot forth, as the rays of the full moon, from that circular rift amid the clouds which I have already described, streamed in a flood of golden glory along the black walls, and far away down into the inmost recesses of the abyss.

“Never will I forget the mix of awe, horror, and admiration I felt as I looked around. The boat seemed to be floating, as if by magic, halfway down the vast interior of a funnel, huge in size and deep in depth. Its perfectly smooth walls could have been mistaken for ebony, if not for the dizzying speed at which they spun and the eerie, haunting light they emitted. As the rays of the full moon streamed through the circular gap in the clouds I mentioned earlier, they flooded the dark walls with golden light, reaching deep into the darkest corners of the abyss.”

“At first I was too much confused to observe anything accurately. The general burst of terrific grandeur was all that I beheld. When I recovered myself a little, however, my gaze fell instinctively downward. In this direction I was able to obtain an unobstructed view, from the manner in which the smack hung on the inclined surface of the pool. She was quite upon an even keel—that is to say, her deck lay in a plane parallel with that of the water—but this latter sloped at an angle of more than forty-five degrees, so that we seemed to be lying upon our beam-ends. I could not help observing, nevertheless, that I had scarcely more difficulty in maintaining my hold and footing in this situation, than if we had been upon a dead level; and this, I suppose, was owing to the speed at which we revolved.

“At first, I was too confused to really notice anything clearly. All I could see was a stunning display of grandeur. Once I gathered myself a bit, though, I instinctively looked down. This way, I could see clearly because of how the boat rested on the tilted surface of the pool. It was completely level—that is, its deck was parallel to the water—but the water sloped at an angle of more than forty-five degrees, making it seem like we were lying on our side. However, I couldn't help but notice that I had just about as much trouble keeping my grip and balance in this position as if we were on solid ground; I suppose that was due to the speed at which we were spinning.

“The rays of the moon seemed to search the very bottom of the profound gulf; but still I could make out nothing distinctly, on account of a thick mist in which everything there was enveloped, and over which there hung a magnificent rainbow, like that narrow and tottering bridge which Mussulmen say is the only pathway between Time and Eternity. This mist, or spray, was no doubt occasioned by the clashing of the great walls of the funnel, as they all met together at the bottom—but the yell that went up to the Heavens from out of that mist, I dare not attempt to describe.

The moonlight seemed to search the very bottom of the deep abyss, but I still couldn't make out anything clearly because of a thick mist that surrounded everything. A stunning rainbow hung over it, like the narrow, shaky bridge that Muslims say is the only path between Time and Eternity. This mist, or spray, was probably caused by the crashing of the massive walls of the funnel as they converged at the bottom—but the yell that rose to the heavens from that mist, I wouldn’t even try to describe.

“Our first slide into the abyss itself, from the belt of foam above, had carried us a great distance down the slope; but our farther descent was by no means proportionate. Round and round we swept—not with any uniform movement—but in dizzying swings and jerks, that sent us sometimes only a few hundred yards—sometimes nearly the complete circuit of the whirl. Our progress downward, at each revolution, was slow, but very perceptible.

“Our first plunge into the abyss itself, from the foam-covered edge above, had taken us far down the slope; however, our continued descent wasn’t quite as significant. We spun around and around—not in a steady motion—but in dizzying swings and jerks, which sent us sometimes just a few hundred yards—sometimes almost all the way around the whirl. Our downward progress, with each turn, was slow, but definitely noticeable.

“Looking about me upon the wide waste of liquid ebony on which we were thus borne, I perceived that our boat was not the only object in the embrace of the whirl. Both above and below us were visible fragments of vessels, large masses of building timber and trunks of trees, with many smaller articles, such as pieces of house furniture, broken boxes, barrels and staves. I have already described the unnatural curiosity which had taken the place of my original terrors. It appeared to grow upon me as I drew nearer and nearer to my dreadful doom. I now began to watch, with a strange interest, the numerous things that floated in our company. I must have been delirious, for I even sought amusement in speculating upon the relative velocities of their several descents toward the foam below. ‘This fir tree,’ I found myself at one time saying, ‘will certainly be the next thing that takes the awful plunge and disappears,’—and then I was disappointed to find that the wreck of a Dutch merchant ship overtook it and went down before. At length, after making several guesses of this nature, and being deceived in all—this fact—the fact of my invariable miscalculation, set me upon a train of reflection that made my limbs again tremble, and my heart beat heavily once more.

As I looked around at the vast stretch of dark water we were floating on, I realized our boat wasn’t the only thing caught in the whirlpool. Both above and below us, I could see fragments of ships, large pieces of timber, and tree trunks, alongside many smaller items like furniture, broken boxes, barrels, and staves. I've already mentioned how my initial fear was replaced by a strange curiosity. It seemed to grow stronger as I got closer to my terrifying fate. I started to watch, with an odd interest, the many things drifting alongside us. I must have been out of my mind, because I even tried to find some entertainment in guessing how fast they were sinking into the frothy water below. “That fir tree,” I thought at one point, “is definitely going to be the next thing that takes the dreadful plunge and disappears,”—only to be let down when a wrecked Dutch merchant ship passed it and sank first. Eventually, after making several predictions like this and being wrong every time—this fact—the reality of my constant miscalculation—set me thinking in a way that made my limbs tremble again and my heart race once more.

“It was not a new terror that thus affected me, but the dawn of a more exciting hope. This hope arose partly from memory, and partly from present observation. I called to mind the great variety of buoyant matter that strewed the coast of Lofoden, having been absorbed and then thrown forth by the Moskoe-ström. By far the greater number of the articles were shattered in the most extraordinary way—so chafed and roughened as to have the appearance of being stuck full of splinters—but then I distinctly recollected that there were some of them which were not disfigured at all. Now I could not account for this difference except by supposing that the roughened fragments were the only ones which had been completely absorbed—that the others had entered the whirl at so late a period of the tide, or, for some reason, had descended so slowly after entering, that they did not reach the bottom before the turn of the flood came, or of the ebb, as the case might be. I conceived it possible, in either instance, that they might thus be whirled up again to the level of the ocean, without undergoing the fate of those which had been drawn in more early, or absorbed more rapidly. I made, also, three important observations. The first was, that, as a general rule, the larger the bodies were, the more rapid their descent—the second, that, between two masses of equal extent, the one spherical, and the other of any other shape, the superiority in speed of descent was with the sphere—the third, that, between two masses of equal size, the one cylindrical, and the other of any other shape, the cylinder was absorbed the more slowly. Since my escape, I have had several conversations on this subject with an old school-master of the district; and it was from him that I learned the use of the words ‘cylinder’ and ‘sphere.’ He explained to me—although I have forgotten the explanation—how what I observed was, in fact, the natural consequence of the forms of the floating fragments—and showed me how it happened that a cylinder, swimming in a vortex, offered more resistance to its suction, and was drawn in with greater difficulty than an equally bulky body, of any form whatever. (*1)

“It wasn’t a new fear that affected me, but the start of a more exciting hope. This hope came partly from my memories and partly from what I was seeing now. I remembered the great variety of buoyant materials scattered along the coast of Lofoden, having been absorbed and then expelled by the Moskoe-ström. Most of the items were shattered in the most unusual way—so worn and rough that they looked like they were covered in splinters—but I also clearly remembered that there were some that weren’t disfigured at all. I couldn’t explain this difference except by thinking that the rough fragments were the only ones that had been completely absorbed—that the others had entered the whirlpool later in the tide, or for some reason had sunk slowly after entering, so they didn’t touch the bottom before the tide turned, whether it was coming in or going out. I thought it possible that, in either case, they might be whirled back up to the ocean surface without facing the fate of those that had been caught earlier or sucked in more quickly. I also made three important observations. The first was that, generally, the larger the objects were, the faster they sank—the second was that between two masses of equal size, one spherical and the other any other shape, the sphere fell faster—the third was that between two masses of equal size, one cylindrical and the other of any other shape, the cylinder was absorbed more slowly. Since my escape, I’ve had several discussions about this with an old schoolmaster in the area; it was from him that I learned about the terms ‘cylinder’ and ‘sphere.’ He explained to me—although I’ve forgotten the details—how what I observed was actually a natural result of the shapes of the floating fragments—and showed me how it was that a cylinder, floating in a vortex, created more resistance to being pulled in and was drawn in more slowly than an equally sized object of any other shape. (*1)”

“There was one startling circumstance which went a great way in enforcing these observations, and rendering me anxious to turn them to account, and this was that, at every revolution, we passed something like a barrel, or else the yard or the mast of a vessel, while many of these things, which had been on our level when I first opened my eyes upon the wonders of the whirlpool, were now high up above us, and seemed to have moved but little from their original station.

“There was one surprising thing that really drove these observations home and made me eager to make use of them, and that was that with every turn, we passed something like a barrel, or the yard or mast of a ship, while many of these objects, which had been on our level when I first saw the wonders of the whirlpool, were now high above us and seemed to have hardly moved from their original position.”

“I no longer hesitated what to do. I resolved to lash myself securely to the water cask upon which I now held, to cut it loose from the counter, and to throw myself with it into the water. I attracted my brother’s attention by signs, pointed to the floating barrels that came near us, and did everything in my power to make him understand what I was about to do. I thought at length that he comprehended my design—but, whether this was the case or not, he shook his head despairingly, and refused to move from his station by the ring-bolt. It was impossible to reach him; the emergency admitted of no delay; and so, with a bitter struggle, I resigned him to his fate, fastened myself to the cask by means of the lashings which secured it to the counter, and precipitated myself with it into the sea, without another moment’s hesitation.

“I no longer hesitated about what to do. I decided to tie myself securely to the water barrel I was holding onto, cut it loose from the counter, and jump into the water with it. I caught my brother's attention with signals, pointed to the floating barrels that were getting close to us, and did everything I could to help him understand my plan. Eventually, I thought he understood my intention—but whether or not he did, he shook his head in despair and refused to leave his spot by the ring-bolt. It was impossible to reach him; the situation allowed for no delay; so, with a heavy heart, I gave up on him, secured myself to the barrel using the ropes that held it to the counter, and threw myself into the sea without a moment's hesitation.

“The result was precisely what I had hoped it might be. As it is myself who now tell you this tale—as you see that I did escape—and as you are already in possession of the mode in which this escape was effected, and must therefore anticipate all that I have farther to say—I will bring my story quickly to conclusion. It might have been an hour, or thereabout, after my quitting the smack, when, having descended to a vast distance beneath me, it made three or four wild gyrations in rapid succession, and, bearing my loved brother with it, plunged headlong, at once and forever, into the chaos of foam below. The barrel to which I was attached sunk very little farther than half the distance between the bottom of the gulf and the spot at which I leaped overboard, before a great change took place in the character of the whirlpool. The slope of the sides of the vast funnel became momently less and less steep. The gyrations of the whirl grew, gradually, less and less violent. By degrees, the froth and the rainbow disappeared, and the bottom of the gulf seemed slowly to uprise. The sky was clear, the winds had gone down, and the full moon was setting radiantly in the west, when I found myself on the surface of the ocean, in full view of the shores of Lofoden, and above the spot where the pool of the Moskoe-ström had been. It was the hour of the slack—but the sea still heaved in mountainous waves from the effects of the hurricane. I was borne violently into the channel of the Ström, and in a few minutes was hurried down the coast into the ‘grounds’ of the fishermen. A boat picked me up—exhausted from fatigue—and (now that the danger was removed) speechless from the memory of its horror. Those who drew me on board were my old mates and daily companions—but they knew me no more than they would have known a traveller from the spirit-land. My hair which had been raven-black the day before, was as white as you see it now. They say too that the whole expression of my countenance had changed. I told them my story—they did not believe it. I now tell it to you—and I can scarcely expect you to put more faith in it than did the merry fishermen of Lofoden.”

“The outcome was exactly what I had hoped for. Since I’m the one telling you this story—and as you see that I did escape—and you already know how this escape happened, you can guess everything else I have to say, so I’ll wrap up my story quickly. It might have been about an hour after I left the boat when, having dropped to a great depth beneath me, it made three or four crazy spins in quick succession, and, taking my dear brother with it, plunged headfirst, once and for all, into the tumultuous foam below. The barrel I was attached to sank only a little less than halfway between the bottom of the gulf and the spot where I jumped overboard before a significant change happened in the whirlpool's behavior. The sides of the enormous funnel became less steep with each moment. The whirlpool's spins gradually calmed down. Slowly, the foam and rainbow disappeared, and the bottom of the gulf seemed to rise. The sky was clear, the winds had died down, and the full moon was setting brightly in the west when I found myself on the surface of the ocean, clearly seeing the shores of Lofoden, right above where the pool of the Moskoe-ström had been. It was the time of the slack—but the sea was still rolling in huge waves from the aftermath of the hurricane. I was forcefully pushed into the channel of the Ström, and in a few minutes, I was swept down the coast into the fishing grounds. A boat picked me up—exhausted from fatigue—and (now that the danger was gone) dumbfounded by the memory of its horror. The people who rescued me were my old friends and daily companions—but they looked at me as if I were a traveler from the spirit world. My hair, which had been jet black the day before, was now as white as you see it now. They also said that my entire facial expression had changed. I told them my story—but they didn’t believe it. Now, I’m telling it to you—and I can hardly expect you to believe it more than the cheerful fishermen of Lofoden did.”

VON KEMPELEN AND HIS DISCOVERY

After the very minute and elaborate paper by Arago, to say nothing of the summary in ‘Silliman’s Journal,’ with the detailed statement just published by Lieutenant Maury, it will not be supposed, of course, that in offering a few hurried remarks in reference to Von Kempelen’s discovery, I have any design to look at the subject in a scientific point of view. My object is simply, in the first place, to say a few words of Von Kempelen himself (with whom, some years ago, I had the honor of a slight personal acquaintance), since every thing which concerns him must necessarily, at this moment, be of interest; and, in the second place, to look in a general way, and speculatively, at the results of the discovery.

After the very detailed and thorough paper by Arago, not to mention the summary in ‘Silliman’s Journal,’ along with the detailed statement just published by Lieutenant Maury, it’s clear that in offering a few quick thoughts about Von Kempelen’s discovery, I don’t intend to examine the subject from a scientific perspective. My goal is simply, first, to share a few words about Von Kempelen himself (with whom I had the pleasure of a brief personal acquaintance a few years ago), since everything related to him is certainly of interest right now; and second, to take a general and speculative look at the implications of the discovery.

It may be as well, however, to premise the cursory observations which I have to offer, by denying, very decidedly, what seems to be a general impression (gleaned, as usual in a case of this kind, from the newspapers), viz.: that this discovery, astounding as it unquestionably is, is unanticipated.

It might be helpful to start my brief comments by firmly stating that I want to reject a common impression (as usual, taken from the newspapers) that this discovery, as incredible as it clearly is, was unexpected.

By reference to the ‘Diary of Sir Humphrey Davy’ (Cottle and Munroe, London, pp. 150), it will be seen at pp. 53 and 82, that this illustrious chemist had not only conceived the idea now in question, but had actually made no inconsiderable progress, experimentally, in the very identical analysis now so triumphantly brought to an issue by Von Kempelen, who although he makes not the slightest allusion to it, is, without doubt (I say it unhesitatingly, and can prove it, if required), indebted to the ‘Diary’ for at least the first hint of his own undertaking.

By looking at the ‘Diary of Sir Humphrey Davy’ (Cottle and Munroe, London, pp. 150), you can see on pp. 53 and 82 that this notable chemist not only came up with the idea in question but also made significant experimental progress on the exact analysis that Von Kempelen has now successfully concluded. Even though Von Kempelen doesn’t mention it at all, it's clear (and I can prove it if needed) that he owes at least the initial inspiration for his own project to the ‘Diary.’

The paragraph from the ‘Courier and Enquirer,’ which is now going the rounds of the press, and which purports to claim the invention for a Mr. Kissam, of Brunswick, Maine, appears to me, I confess, a little apocryphal, for several reasons; although there is nothing either impossible or very improbable in the statement made. I need not go into details. My opinion of the paragraph is founded principally upon its manner. It does not look true. Persons who are narrating facts, are seldom so particular as Mr. Kissam seems to be, about day and date and precise location. Besides, if Mr. Kissam actually did come upon the discovery he says he did, at the period designated—nearly eight years ago—how happens it that he took no steps, on the instant, to reap the immense benefits which the merest bumpkin must have known would have resulted to him individually, if not to the world at large, from the discovery? It seems to me quite incredible that any man of common understanding could have discovered what Mr. Kissam says he did, and yet have subsequently acted so like a baby—so like an owl—as Mr. Kissam admits that he did. By-the-way, who is Mr. Kissam? and is not the whole paragraph in the ‘Courier and Enquirer’ a fabrication got up to ‘make a talk’? It must be confessed that it has an amazingly moon-hoaxy-air. Very little dependence is to be placed upon it, in my humble opinion; and if I were not well aware, from experience, how very easily men of science are mystified, on points out of their usual range of inquiry, I should be profoundly astonished at finding so eminent a chemist as Professor Draper, discussing Mr. Kissam’s (or is it Mr. Quizzem’s?) pretensions to the discovery, in so serious a tone.

The paragraph from the ‘Courier and Enquirer,’ which is currently circulating in the media and claims that a Mr. Kissam from Brunswick, Maine invented something, seems a bit questionable to me for a few reasons. While the statement itself isn’t entirely impossible or highly unlikely, I won’t get into the specifics. My assessment of the paragraph mainly comes from its tone. It just doesn’t seem credible. People telling real stories aren’t usually as fixated as Mr. Kissam appears to be on exact dates and specific locations. Moreover, if Mr. Kissam really did make the discovery he claims nearly eight years ago, why didn't he immediately take steps to benefit from it? It's hard to believe that someone of average intelligence could discover what Mr. Kissam says he did and then behave so foolishly—as he admits he did. By the way, who is Mr. Kissam? Isn’t the whole paragraph in the ‘Courier and Enquirer’ just a made-up story to stir up conversation? It definitely has a bizarre, outlandish vibe. I think it’s not very reliable; and if I didn’t know from experience how easily scientists can be confused by things outside their usual focus, I would be shocked to see someone as respected as Professor Draper seriously discussing Mr. Kissam’s (or is it Mr. Quizzem’s?) claims to this discovery.

But to return to the ‘Diary’ of Sir Humphrey Davy. This pamphlet was not designed for the public eye, even upon the decease of the writer, as any person at all conversant with authorship may satisfy himself at once by the slightest inspection of the style. At page 13, for example, near the middle, we read, in reference to his researches about the protoxide of azote: ‘In less than half a minute the respiration being continued, diminished gradually and were succeeded by analogous to gentle pressure on all the muscles.’ That the respiration was not ‘diminished,’ is not only clear by the subsequent context, but by the use of the plural, ‘were.’ The sentence, no doubt, was thus intended: ‘In less than half a minute, the respiration [being continued, these feelings] diminished gradually, and were succeeded by [a sensation] analogous to gentle pressure on all the muscles.’ A hundred similar instances go to show that the MS. so inconsiderately published, was merely a rough note-book, meant only for the writer’s own eye, but an inspection of the pamphlet will convince almost any thinking person of the truth of my suggestion. The fact is, Sir Humphrey Davy was about the last man in the world to commit himself on scientific topics. Not only had he a more than ordinary dislike to quackery, but he was morbidly afraid of appearing empirical; so that, however fully he might have been convinced that he was on the right track in the matter now in question, he would never have spoken out, until he had every thing ready for the most practical demonstration. I verily believe that his last moments would have been rendered wretched, could he have suspected that his wishes in regard to burning this ‘Diary’ (full of crude speculations) would have been unattended to; as, it seems, they were. I say ‘his wishes,’ for that he meant to include this note-book among the miscellaneous papers directed ‘to be burnt,’ I think there can be no manner of doubt. Whether it escaped the flames by good fortune or by bad, yet remains to be seen. That the passages quoted above, with the other similar ones referred to, gave Von Kempelen the hint, I do not in the slightest degree question; but I repeat, it yet remains to be seen whether this momentous discovery itself (momentous under any circumstances) will be of service or disservice to mankind at large. That Von Kempelen and his immediate friends will reap a rich harvest, it would be folly to doubt for a moment. They will scarcely be so weak as not to ‘realize,’ in time, by large purchases of houses and land, with other property of intrinsic value.

But to return to Sir Humphrey Davy's 'Diary.' This pamphlet wasn’t meant for public view, even after the writer's death, as anyone familiar with writing can easily see from just a quick look at the style. For instance, on page 13, near the middle, it states, regarding his research on the protoxide of azote: ‘In less than half a minute the respiration being continued, diminished gradually and were succeeded by analogous to gentle pressure on all the muscles.’ It's clear that the respiration wasn't 'diminished,' not only from the context that follows but also from the use of the plural, 'were.' The intended meaning was likely: 'In less than half a minute, the respiration [being continued, these feelings] diminished gradually, and were succeeded by [a sensation] analogous to gentle pressure on all the muscles.' There are countless similar examples that show the hastily published manuscript was just a rough notebook meant solely for the writer's use, but anyone who examines the pamphlet will almost certainly agree with my assessment. The reality is, Sir Humphrey Davy was one of the last people you’d expect to make bold claims on scientific matters. He had an extraordinary aversion to quackery and was overly cautious about appearing unscientific; therefore, even if he believed wholeheartedly he was on the right path regarding this subject, he would never have spoken out until he had everything perfectly ready for practical demonstration. I genuinely believe his last moments would have been miserable if he had suspected that his wishes to burn this ‘Diary’ (full of raw speculation) were ignored; and, as it seems, they were. I say ‘his wishes,’ because it’s clear he intended to include this notebook among the assorted papers designated ‘to be burnt.’ Whether it escaped the flames by sheer luck or unfortunate circumstances is still up for debate. I have no doubt that the passages I quoted, along with the other similar ones mentioned, inspired Von Kempelen; but I reiterate, it remains to be seen whether this significant discovery (which is important under any circumstances) will ultimately benefit or harm humanity as a whole. It's undoubtedly foolish to doubt that Von Kempelen and his close associates will gather substantial rewards. They would hardly be so naive as not to ‘realize’ their gains through significant purchases of properties like houses and land, along with other valuable assets.

In the brief account of Von Kempelen which appeared in the ‘Home Journal,’ and has since been extensively copied, several misapprehensions of the German original seem to have been made by the translator, who professes to have taken the passage from a late number of the Presburg ‘Schnellpost.’ ‘Viele’ has evidently been misconceived (as it often is), and what the translator renders by ‘sorrows,’ is probably ‘lieden,’ which, in its true version, ‘sufferings,’ would give a totally different complexion to the whole account; but, of course, much of this is merely guess, on my part.

In the brief overview of Von Kempelen that appeared in the ‘Home Journal’ and has since been widely reproduced, the translator seems to have misunderstood several points from the original German text. They claim to have taken the passage from a recent issue of the Presburg ‘Schnellpost.’ The term ‘Viele’ has clearly been misinterpreted (as it often is), and what the translator interprets as ‘sorrows’ is likely ‘lieden,’ which, in its accurate translation as ‘sufferings,’ would completely change the overall meaning of the account. However, this is mostly just my speculation.

Von Kempelen, however, is by no means ‘a misanthrope,’ in appearance, at least, whatever he may be in fact. My acquaintance with him was casual altogether; and I am scarcely warranted in saying that I know him at all; but to have seen and conversed with a man of so prodigious a notoriety as he has attained, or will attain in a few days, is not a small matter, as times go.

Von Kempelen, however, is not at all 'a misanthrope' in appearance, whatever he may actually be. My experience with him was entirely casual; and I can hardly claim to know him at all; but seeing and talking to a man of such incredible notoriety as he has achieved, or will achieve in just a few days, is not insignificant, given the times.

“The Literary World” speaks of him, confidently, as a native of Presburg (misled, perhaps, by the account in “The Home Journal”) but I am pleased in being able to state positively, since I have it from his own lips, that he was born in Utica, in the State of New York, although both his parents, I believe, are of Presburg descent. The family is connected, in some way, with Mäelzel, of Automaton-chess-player memory. In person, he is short and stout, with large, fat, blue eyes, sandy hair and whiskers, a wide but pleasing mouth, fine teeth, and I think a Roman nose. There is some defect in one of his feet. His address is frank, and his whole manner noticeable for bonhomie. Altogether, he looks, speaks, and acts as little like ‘a misanthrope’ as any man I ever saw. We were fellow-sojourners for a week about six years ago, at Earl’s Hotel, in Providence, Rhode Island; and I presume that I conversed with him, at various times, for some three or four hours altogether. His principal topics were those of the day; and nothing that fell from him led me to suspect his scientific attainments. He left the hotel before me, intending to go to New York, and thence to Bremen; it was in the latter city that his great discovery was first made public; or, rather, it was there that he was first suspected of having made it. This is about all that I personally know of the now immortal Von Kempelen; but I have thought that even these few details would have interest for the public.

“The Literary World” confidently refers to him as a native of Presburg (perhaps misled by an article in “The Home Journal”), but I’m happy to say positively, since I heard it straight from him, that he was born in Utica, New York, though both his parents are, I believe, of Presburg descent. The family is somehow connected to Mäelzel, known for his Automaton chess player. In person, he is short and stout, with large, fat, blue eyes, sandy hair and whiskers, a wide but pleasant mouth, fine teeth, and I think a Roman nose. There is some defect in one of his feet. His demeanor is straightforward, and his overall personality is marked by friendliness. Altogether, he looks, speaks, and acts as little like ‘a misanthrope’ as any man I’ve ever seen. We were fellow guests for a week about six years ago at Earl’s Hotel in Providence, Rhode Island; and I think I talked with him for about three or four hours total. His main topics were those of the day; and nothing he said made me question his scientific knowledge. He left the hotel before I did, planning to go to New York and then to Bremen; it was in the latter city that his great discovery was first made public, or rather, where he was first suspected of having made it. That’s about all I personally know of the now-legendary Von Kempelen, but I thought even these few details would interest the public.

There can be little question that most of the marvellous rumors afloat about this affair are pure inventions, entitled to about as much credit as the story of Aladdin’s lamp; and yet, in a case of this kind, as in the case of the discoveries in California, it is clear that the truth may be stranger than fiction. The following anecdote, at least, is so well authenticated, that we may receive it implicitly.

There’s no doubt that most of the incredible rumors surrounding this situation are just made-up stories, no more credible than the tale of Aladdin’s lamp; however, in cases like this one, as with the discoveries in California, it’s obvious that the truth can be stranger than fiction. The following anecdote, at the very least, is so well verified that we can accept it without question.

Von Kempelen had never been even tolerably well off during his residence at Bremen; and often, it was well known, he had been put to extreme shifts in order to raise trifling sums. When the great excitement occurred about the forgery on the house of Gutsmuth & Co., suspicion was directed toward Von Kempelen, on account of his having purchased a considerable property in Gasperitch Lane, and his refusing, when questioned, to explain how he became possessed of the purchase money. He was at length arrested, but nothing decisive appearing against him, was in the end set at liberty. The police, however, kept a strict watch upon his movements, and thus discovered that he left home frequently, taking always the same road, and invariably giving his watchers the slip in the neighborhood of that labyrinth of narrow and crooked passages known by the flash name of the ‘Dondergat.’ Finally, by dint of great perseverance, they traced him to a garret in an old house of seven stories, in an alley called Flatzplatz,—and, coming upon him suddenly, found him, as they imagined, in the midst of his counterfeiting operations. His agitation is represented as so excessive that the officers had not the slightest doubt of his guilt. After hand-cuffing him, they searched his room, or rather rooms, for it appears he occupied all the mansarde.

Von Kempelen had never been particularly well off during his time in Bremen, and it was well known that he often struggled to come up with even small amounts of money. When the big scandal arose concerning the forgery at Gutsmuth & Co., suspicion fell on Von Kempelen because he had bought a significant property on Gasperitch Lane and, when questioned, refused to explain how he acquired the money for it. He was eventually arrested, but since nothing concrete was found against him, he was ultimately released. The police, however, kept a close watch on his movements and discovered that he frequently left home, always taking the same route and consistently managing to evade his watchers around the maze of narrow and winding alleys known as the 'Dondergat.' Eventually, through persistent effort, they tracked him to a top-floor room in an old seven-story building on an alley called Flatzplatz. When they surprised him, they believed he was in the middle of his counterfeiting activities. His agitation was so extreme that the officers had no doubt about his guilt. After handcuffing him, they searched his room, or rather rooms, since he seemed to occupy the entire attic.

Opening into the garret where they caught him, was a closet, ten feet by eight, fitted up with some chemical apparatus, of which the object has not yet been ascertained. In one corner of the closet was a very small furnace, with a glowing fire in it, and on the fire a kind of duplicate crucible—two crucibles connected by a tube. One of these crucibles was nearly full of lead in a state of fusion, but not reaching up to the aperture of the tube, which was close to the brim. The other crucible had some liquid in it, which, as the officers entered, seemed to be furiously dissipating in vapor. They relate that, on finding himself taken, Kempelen seized the crucibles with both hands (which were encased in gloves that afterwards turned out to be asbestic), and threw the contents on the tiled floor. It was now that they hand-cuffed him; and before proceeding to ransack the premises they searched his person, but nothing unusual was found about him, excepting a paper parcel, in his coat-pocket, containing what was afterward ascertained to be a mixture of antimony and some unknown substance, in nearly, but not quite, equal proportions. All attempts at analyzing the unknown substance have, so far, failed, but that it will ultimately be analyzed, is not to be doubted.

Opening into the attic where they caught him, there was a closet, ten feet by eight, equipped with some chemical equipment, the purpose of which has not yet been determined. In one corner of the closet was a very small furnace, with a bright fire in it, and on the fire was a kind of connected crucible setup—two crucibles linked by a tube. One of these crucibles was nearly full of molten lead, but it didn't reach the top of the tube, which was close to the brim. The other crucible contained some liquid that, as the officers entered, appeared to be rapidly turning into vapor. They say that when he realized he was caught, Kempelen grabbed the crucibles with both hands (which were covered in gloves that later turned out to be made of asbestos) and threw the contents onto the tiled floor. It was at that moment they handcuffed him; and before searching the place, they checked him but found nothing unusual, except for a paper package in his coat pocket, containing what was later identified as a mixture of antimony and some unknown substance, in almost, but not quite, equal amounts. All attempts to analyze the unknown substance have so far failed, but there’s no doubt it will eventually be analyzed.

Passing out of the closet with their prisoner, the officers went through a sort of ante-chamber, in which nothing material was found, to the chemist’s sleeping-room. They here rummaged some drawers and boxes, but discovered only a few papers, of no importance, and some good coin, silver and gold. At length, looking under the bed, they saw a large, common hair trunk, without hinges, hasp, or lock, and with the top lying carelessly across the bottom portion. Upon attempting to draw this trunk out from under the bed, they found that, with their united strength (there were three of them, all powerful men), they ‘could not stir it one inch.’ Much astonished at this, one of them crawled under the bed, and looking into the trunk, said:

As the officers emerged from the closet with their prisoner, they passed through a kind of waiting area where they found nothing of value, leading into the chemist’s bedroom. They searched some drawers and boxes but only found a few unimportant papers and a stash of good coins, both silver and gold. Finally, when they looked under the bed, they spotted a large, ordinary hair trunk without hinges, a hasp, or a lock, with the lid carelessly resting on the bottom part. When they tried to pull the trunk out from under the bed, they realized that, despite their combined strength (there were three of them, all strong men), they ‘could not move it an inch.’ Surprised by this, one of them crawled under the bed and peered into the trunk, saying:

‘No wonder we couldn’t move it—why it’s full to the brim of old bits of brass!’

‘No wonder we couldn’t move it—it's packed to the top with old pieces of brass!’

Putting his feet, now, against the wall so as to get a good purchase, and pushing with all his force, while his companions pulled with all theirs, the trunk, with much difficulty, was slid out from under the bed, and its contents examined. The supposed brass with which it was filled was all in small, smooth pieces, varying from the size of a pea to that of a dollar; but the pieces were irregular in shape, although more or less flat-looking, upon the whole, “very much as lead looks when thrown upon the ground in a molten state, and there suffered to grow cool.” Now, not one of these officers for a moment suspected this metal to be anything but brass. The idea of its being gold never entered their brains, of course; how could such a wild fancy have entered it? And their astonishment may be well conceived, when the next day it became known, all over Bremen, that the “lot of brass” which they had carted so contemptuously to the police office, without putting themselves to the trouble of pocketing the smallest scrap, was not only gold—real gold—but gold far finer than any employed in coinage—gold, in fact, absolutely pure, virgin, without the slightest appreciable alloy.

Putting his feet against the wall for a better grip, and pushing with all his strength while his friends pulled with all theirs, they struggled to slide the trunk out from under the bed and checked its contents. The supposed brass inside was made up of small, smooth pieces, ranging from the size of a pea to a dollar; the pieces were irregular in shape but generally flat-looking, “very much like lead looks when it’s poured on the ground in a molten state and allowed to cool.” Not one of these officers for a moment suspected that this metal was anything but brass. The thought of it being gold never crossed their minds; how could such a wild idea even occur to them? Their shock was understandable when the next day it spread all over Bremen that the “load of brass” they had so disdainfully taken to the police station, without bothering to pocket even a small piece, was not just gold—real gold—but gold much purer than any used in coinage—gold that was absolutely pure, virgin, and with no detectable alloy at all.

I need not go over the details of Von Kempelen’s confession (as far as it went) and release, for these are familiar to the public. That he has actually realized, in spirit and in effect, if not to the letter, the old chimaera of the philosopher’s stone, no sane person is at liberty to doubt. The opinions of Arago are, of course, entitled to the greatest consideration; but he is by no means infallible; and what he says of bismuth, in his report to the Academy, must be taken cum grano salis. The simple truth is, that up to this period all analysis has failed; and until Von Kempelen chooses to let us have the key to his own published enigma, it is more than probable that the matter will remain, for years, in statu quo. All that as yet can fairly be said to be known is, that ‘Pure gold can be made at will, and very readily from lead in connection with certain other substances, in kind and in proportions, unknown.’

I don't need to go over the details of Von Kempelen’s confession (as far as it went) and release, since they’re well known to the public. There’s no reasonable doubt that he has actually achieved, in spirit and effect, if not exactly to the letter, the old dream of the philosopher’s stone. Arago's opinions deserve significant consideration, but he’s not infallible; what he says about bismuth in his report to the Academy should be taken with a grain of salt. The plain truth is that up to this point, all analysis has failed, and until Von Kempelen decides to share the key to his own published mystery, it’s likely that this issue will remain unchanged for years. All that can reasonably be said to be known is that “Pure gold can be made at will, and very readily from lead in connection with certain other substances, in kind and in proportions, unknown.”

Speculation, of course, is busy as to the immediate and ultimate results of this discovery—a discovery which few thinking persons will hesitate in referring to an increased interest in the matter of gold generally, by the late developments in California; and this reflection brings us inevitably to another—the exceeding inopportuneness of Von Kempelen’s analysis. If many were prevented from adventuring to California, by the mere apprehension that gold would so materially diminish in value, on account of its plentifulness in the mines there, as to render the speculation of going so far in search of it a doubtful one—what impression will be wrought now, upon the minds of those about to emigrate, and especially upon the minds of those actually in the mineral region, by the announcement of this astounding discovery of Von Kempelen? a discovery which declares, in so many words, that beyond its intrinsic worth for manufacturing purposes (whatever that worth may be), gold now is, or at least soon will be (for it cannot be supposed that Von Kempelen can long retain his secret), of no greater value than lead, and of far inferior value to silver. It is, indeed, exceedingly difficult to speculate prospectively upon the consequences of the discovery, but one thing may be positively maintained—that the announcement of the discovery six months ago would have had material influence in regard to the settlement of California.

Speculation is certainly buzzing about the immediate and long-term effects of this discovery—one that most thoughtful people will quickly link to the heightened interest in gold due to recent developments in California. This thought naturally leads us to another—how poorly timed Von Kempelen's analysis is. If many people were already hesitant to venture to California because they feared gold would significantly lose its value due to its abundance in the mines, how will this shocking discovery from Von Kempelen affect those thinking about emigrating, especially those already in the mineral region? His discovery suggests that, apart from its basic utility in manufacturing (whatever that may be), gold is now or will soon be (since it’s hard to believe Von Kempelen can keep his secret for long) worth no more than lead, and much less than silver. It's really tough to predict the outcomes of this discovery, but one thing is certain—the announcement of this finding six months ago would have had a significant impact on the settlement of California.

In Europe, as yet, the most noticeable results have been a rise of two hundred per cent. in the price of lead, and nearly twenty-five per cent. that of silver.

In Europe, so far, the most noticeable results have been a rise of two hundred percent in the price of lead and nearly twenty-five percent in that of silver.

MESMERIC REVELATION

Whatever doubt may still envelop the rationale of mesmerism, its startling facts are now almost universally admitted. Of these latter, those who doubt, are your mere doubters by profession—an unprofitable and disreputable tribe. There can be no more absolute waste of time than the attempt to prove, at the present day, that man, by mere exercise of will, can so impress his fellow, as to cast him into an abnormal condition, of which the phenomena resemble very closely those of death, or at least resemble them more nearly than they do the phenomena of any other normal condition within our cognizance; that, while in this state, the person so impressed employs only with effort, and then feebly, the external organs of sense, yet perceives, with keenly refined perception, and through channels supposed unknown, matters beyond the scope of the physical organs; that, moreover, his intellectual faculties are wonderfully exalted and invigorated; that his sympathies with the person so impressing him are profound; and, finally, that his susceptibility to the impression increases with its frequency, while, in the same proportion, the peculiar phenomena elicited are more extended and more pronounced.

Whatever doubts may still surround the reasoning behind mesmerism, its shocking facts are now widely accepted. Those who remain skeptical are just professional doubters—an unproductive and disreputable group. There's no greater waste of time than trying to prove today that a person can, through sheer willpower, impress another person so deeply that they enter an unusual state resembling death, or at least more closely than any other normal state we know of; that while in this state, the person being impressed struggles to use their external senses but experiences heightened perception through unknown channels, grasping things beyond the reach of their physical senses; that, in addition, their thinking abilities are remarkably enhanced and energized; that their connection to the person impressing them is deep; and finally, that their ability to be impressed grows the more often it happens, while, in turn, the unique phenomena produced become more extensive and more evident.

I say that these—which are the laws of mesmerism in its general features—it would be supererogation to demonstrate; nor shall I inflict upon my readers so needless a demonstration; to-day. My purpose at present is a very different one indeed. I am impelled, even in the teeth of a world of prejudice, to detail without comment the very remarkable substance of a colloquy, occurring between a sleep-waker and myself.

I think that these— which are the general principles of mesmerism— it would be unnecessary to prove; nor will I put my readers through such an unnecessary demonstration today. My aim right now is something quite different. Despite facing a lot of prejudice, I feel compelled to share, without any commentary, the very interesting details of a conversation that took place between a sleep-waker and me.

I had been long in the habit of mesmerizing the person in question (Mr. Vankirk), and the usual acute susceptibility and exaltation of the mesmeric perception had supervened. For many months he had been laboring under confirmed phthisis, the more distressing effects of which had been relieved by my manipulations; and on the night of Wednesday, the fifteenth instant, I was summoned to his bedside.

I had gotten used to mesmerizing Mr. Vankirk, and the usual heightened sensitivity and excitement of the hypnotic state had kicked in. For several months, he had been suffering from severe tuberculosis, and my treatments had helped ease some of his distressing symptoms. On the night of Wednesday, the fifteenth, I was called to his bedside.

The invalid was suffering with acute pain in the region of the heart, and breathed with great difficulty, having all the ordinary symptoms of asthma. In spasms such as these he had usually found relief from the application of mustard to the nervous centres, but to-night this had been attempted in vain.

The sick person was experiencing sharp pain in his chest and was struggling to breathe, showing all the typical signs of asthma. During times like this, he usually found relief from putting mustard on his nerve centers, but tonight that didn't work at all.

As I entered his room he greeted me with a cheerful smile, and although evidently in much bodily pain, appeared to be, mentally, quite at ease.

As I walked into his room, he welcomed me with a bright smile, and even though he was clearly in a lot of physical pain, he seemed to be mentally relaxed.

“I sent for you to-night,” he said, “not so much to administer to my bodily ailment, as to satisfy me concerning certain psychal impressions which, of late, have occasioned me much anxiety and surprise. I need not tell you how sceptical I have hitherto been on the topic of the soul’s immortality. I cannot deny that there has always existed, as if in that very soul which I have been denying, a vague half-sentiment of its own existence. But this half-sentiment at no time amounted to conviction. With it my reason had nothing to do. All attempts at logical inquiry resulted, indeed, in leaving me more sceptical than before. I had been advised to study Cousin. I studied him in his own works as well as in those of his European and American echoes. The ‘Charles Elwood’ of Mr. Brownson, for example, was placed in my hands. I read it with profound attention. Throughout I found it logical, but the portions which were not merely logical were unhappily the initial arguments of the disbelieving hero of the book. In his summing up it seemed evident to me that the reasoner had not even succeeded in convincing himself. His end had plainly forgotten his beginning, like the government of Trinculo. In short, I was not long in perceiving that if man is to be intellectually convinced of his own immortality, he will never be so convinced by the mere abstractions which have been so long the fashion of the moralists of England, of France, and of Germany. Abstractions may amuse and exercise, but take no hold on the mind. Here upon earth, at least, philosophy, I am persuaded, will always in vain call upon us to look upon qualities as things. The will may assent—the soul—the intellect, never.

“I called for you tonight,” he said, “not just to help with my physical illness, but to clarify some mental impressions that have recently caused me a lot of worry and surprise. I don’t need to tell you how skeptical I’ve been about the soul’s immortality. I can't deny that there's always been, as if in that very soul I’ve been doubting, a vague sense of its own existence. But this sense has never turned into true belief. My reasoning had nothing to do with it. Every attempt to question logically only left me feeling more skeptical than before. I was advised to look into Cousin. I studied him through his own writings and those of his European and American followers. For instance, I was given Mr. Brownson’s ‘Charles Elwood.’ I read it carefully. Overall, I found it logical, but the parts that weren’t just logical were unfortunately the initial arguments of the skeptical protagonist in the book. In his conclusion, it was clear to me that the reasoner hadn’t even managed to convince himself. His ending had clearly forgotten his beginning, like Trinculo’s government. In short, I quickly realized that if a person is to be intellectually convinced of their own immortality, it won't come from the mere abstractions that have long been popular among moralists in England, France, and Germany. Abstractions may entertain and engage, but they don’t truly resonate with the mind. Here on earth, at least, I believe philosophy will always struggle to get us to see qualities as concrete things. The will might agree—the soul, the intellect, never.”

“I repeat, then, that I only half felt, and never intellectually believed. But latterly there has been a certain deepening of the feeling, until it has come so nearly to resemble the acquiescence of reason, that I find it difficult to distinguish between the two. I am enabled, too, plainly to trace this effect to the mesmeric influence. I cannot better explain my meaning than by the hypothesis that the mesmeric exaltation enables me to perceive a train of ratiocination which, in my abnormal existence, convinces, but which, in full accordance with the mesmeric phenomena, does not extend, except through its effect, into my normal condition. In sleep-waking, the reasoning and its conclusion—the cause and its effect—are present together. In my natural state, the cause vanishing, the effect only, and perhaps only partially, remains.

“I’ll say it again: I only half felt, and never truly believed. But lately, my feelings have deepened to the point where they almost resemble rational agreement, making it hard for me to tell the difference between the two. I can clearly trace this change to the mesmeric influence. I can't explain it better than by suggesting that the heightened state from the mesmerism allows me to see a line of reasoning that convinces me in my altered state, but, in line with mesmeric experiences, it doesn’t carry over, except through its effect, into my normal state. In that state between sleep and wakefulness, the reasoning and its conclusion—the cause and its effect—are present together. In my regular state, when the cause disappears, only the effect remains, and perhaps only partially.”

“These considerations have led me to think that some good results might ensue from a series of well-directed questions propounded to me while mesmerized. You have often observed the profound self-cognizance evinced by the sleep-waker—the extensive knowledge he displays upon all points relating to the mesmeric condition itself; and from this self-cognizance may be deduced hints for the proper conduct of a catechism.”

“These thoughts have made me consider that asking a series of focused questions while I’m in a trance could lead to some good outcomes. You've seen how deeply aware a person in a sleep-like state can be—the vast knowledge they show about everything related to that altered state; and from this awareness, we can draw insights on how to conduct an effective Q&A.”

I consented of course to make this experiment. A few passes threw Mr. Vankirk into the mesmeric sleep. His breathing became immediately more easy, and he seemed to suffer no physical uneasiness. The following conversation then ensued:—V. in the dialogue representing the patient, and P. myself.

I agreed, of course, to do this experiment. A few passes put Mr. Vankirk into a deep sleep. His breathing became noticeably easier, and he didn’t seem to be in any physical discomfort. The following conversation then took place:—V. representing the patient in the dialogue, and P. as myself.

P. Are you asleep?

Are you awake?

V. Yes—no; I would rather sleep more soundly.

V. Yes—no; I’d prefer to sleep more peacefully.

P. [After a few more passes.] Do you sleep now?

P. [After a few more passes.] Are you sleeping now?

V. Yes.

V. Yup.

P. How do you think your present illness will result?

P. How do you think your current illness will turn out?

V. [After a long hesitation and speaking as if with effort.] I must die.

V. [After a long pause and speaking as if it took a lot of effort.] I have to die.

P. Does the idea of death afflict you?

P. Does the thought of death bother you?

V. [Very quickly.] No—no!

V. [Quickly.] No—no!

P. Are you pleased with the prospect?

P. Are you happy with the possibility?

V. If I were awake I should like to die, but now it is no matter. The mesmeric condition is so near death as to content me.

V. If I were awake, I’d want to die, but right now it doesn’t matter. The hypnotic state is so close to death that it satisfies me.

P. I wish you would explain yourself, Mr. Vankirk.

P. I wish you would clarify things for me, Mr. Vankirk.

V. I am willing to do so, but it requires more effort than I feel able to make. You do not question me properly.

V. I'm willing to do that, but it takes more effort than I feel up to. You're not asking me the right questions.

P. What then shall I ask?

What should I ask then?

V. You must begin at the beginning.

V. You need to start from the beginning.

P. The beginning! But where is the beginning?

P. The start! But where is the start?

V. You know that the beginning is GOD. [This was said in a low, fluctuating tone, and with every sign of the most profound veneration.]

V. You know that the beginning is God. [This was said in a low, changing tone, and with every sign of deep reverence.]

P. What then, is God?

What, then, is God?

V. [Hesitating for many minutes.] I cannot tell.

V. [Hesitating for several minutes.] I can't say.

P. Is not God spirit?

Isn't God a spirit?

V. While I was awake I knew what you meant by “spirit,” but now it seems only a word—such, for instance, as truth, beauty—a quality, I mean.

V. When I was awake, I understood what you meant by “spirit,” but now it just seems like a word—like truth or beauty—a quality, I guess.

P. Is not God immaterial?

Isn't God immaterial?

V. There is no immateriality—it is a mere word. That which is not matter, is not at all—unless qualities are things.

V. There is no such thing as immateriality—it's just a word. What isn't matter doesn't exist at all—unless qualities are considered real things.

P. Is God, then, material?

Is God, then, physical?

V. No. [This reply startled me very much.]

V. No. [This response surprised me a lot.]

P. What, then, is he?

What is he, then?

V. [After a long pause, and mutteringly.] I see—but it is a thing difficult to tell. [Another long pause.] He is not spirit, for he exists. Nor is he matter, as you understand it. But there are gradations of matter of which man knows nothing; the grosser impelling the finer, the finer pervading the grosser. The atmosphere, for example, impels the electric principle, while the electric principle permeates the atmosphere. These gradations of matter increase in rarity or fineness, until we arrive at a matter unparticled—without particles—indivisible—one; and here the law of impulsion and permeation is modified. The ultimate, or unparticled matter, not only permeates all things but impels all things; and thus is all things within itself. This matter is God. What men attempt to embody in the word “thought,” is this matter in motion.

V. [After a long pause, speaking quietly.] I understand—but it’s hard to explain. [Another long pause.] He isn't a spirit, because he exists. Nor is he matter, as you think of it. But there are levels of matter that people know nothing about; the denser pushing the finer, the finer spreading through the denser. The atmosphere, for example, pushes the electric principle, while the electric principle spreads throughout the atmosphere. These levels of matter become more rare or subtle, until we reach a matter that is unparticled—without particles—indivisible—one; and here the law of pushing and spreading changes. The ultimate, or unparticled matter, not only spreads through everything but also pushes everything; and thus is everything within itself. This matter is God. What people try to capture in the word “thought,” is this matter in motion.

P. The metaphysicians maintain that all action is reducible to motion and thinking, and that the latter is the origin of the former.

P. The philosophers argue that all actions can be broken down into motion and thought, and that thought is what leads to action.

V. Yes; and I now see the confusion of idea. Motion is the action of mind, not of thinking. The unparticled matter, or God, in quiescence, is (as nearly as we can conceive it) what men call mind. And the power of self-movement (equivalent in effect to human volition) is, in the unparticled matter, the result of its unity and omniprevalence; how I know not, and now clearly see that I shall never know. But the unparticled matter, set in motion by a law, or quality, existing within itself, is thinking.

V. Yes; and I now understand where the confusion lies. Motion is the action of mind, not of thinking. The formless matter, or God, at rest is (as close as we can imagine) what people refer to as mind. The ability to self-move (which is similar in effect to human choice) in formless matter comes from its unity and all-encompassing nature; how I don't know, and I now clearly realize that I will never know. But formless matter, set in motion by a law or quality that exists within it, is thinking.

P. Can you give me no more precise idea of what you term the unparticled matter?

P. Can you provide me with a clearer idea of what you mean by unparticled matter?

V. The matters of which man is cognizant escape the senses in gradation. We have, for example, a metal, a piece of wood, a drop of water, the atmosphere, a gas, caloric, electricity, the luminiferous ether. Now we call all these things matter, and embrace all matter in one general definition; but in spite of this, there can be no two ideas more essentially distinct than that which we attach to a metal, and that which we attach to the luminiferous ether. When we reach the latter, we feel an almost irresistible inclination to class it with spirit, or with nihility. The only consideration which restrains us is our conception of its atomic constitution; and here, even, we have to seek aid from our notion of an atom, as something possessing in infinite minuteness, solidity, palpability, weight. Destroy the idea of the atomic constitution and we should no longer be able to regard the ether as an entity, or at least as matter. For want of a better word we might term it spirit. Take, now, a step beyond the luminiferous ether—conceive a matter as much more rare than the ether, as this ether is more rare than the metal, and we arrive at once (in spite of all the school dogmas) at a unique mass—an unparticled matter. For although we may admit infinite littleness in the atoms themselves, the infinitude of littleness in the spaces between them is an absurdity. There will be a point—there will be a degree of rarity, at which, if the atoms are sufficiently numerous, the interspaces must vanish, and the mass absolutely coalesce. But the consideration of the atomic constitution being now taken away, the nature of the mass inevitably glides into what we conceive of spirit. It is clear, however, that it is as fully matter as before. The truth is, it is impossible to conceive spirit, since it is impossible to imagine what is not. When we flatter ourselves that we have formed its conception, we have merely deceived our understanding by the consideration of infinitely rarified matter.

V. The things that people are aware of differ in their physical presence. For instance, we have metal, wood, water, air, gas, heat, electricity, and the luminiferous ether. We refer to all these as matter and define matter broadly; however, there are no two concepts more fundamentally different than what we associate with metal and what we associate with luminiferous ether. When we think of the latter, we often feel a strong urge to categorize it with spirit or nothingness. The only thing that holds us back is our understanding of its atomic structure; and even then, we need to rely on our idea of an atom as something extremely small, solid, tangible, and weighty. If we eliminate the idea of atomic structure, we can no longer view ether as an entity, or at least, as matter. Lacking a better term, we might call it spirit. Now, take a step further than the luminiferous ether—imagine a matter that is far more rarefied than ether, as ether is more rarefied than metal, and we arrive at a single substance—an unparticled matter. Although we can imagine infinite smallness within the atoms themselves, it is absurd to think of infinite smallness in the spaces between them. There will be a point—a degree of rarity—where, if the atoms are numerous enough, the spaces will disappear, and the mass will completely merge. But without considering atomic structure, the nature of the mass inevitably transitions into what we think of as spirit. It is clear, though, that it remains fully matter as before. The truth is, it is impossible to really grasp the concept of spirit, since we cannot imagine what does not exist. When we mistakenly believe we've understood it, we are only fooling ourselves by considering infinitely rarefied matter.

P. There seems to me an insurmountable objection to the idea of absolute coalescence;—and that is the very slight resistance experienced by the heavenly bodies in their revolutions through space—a resistance now ascertained, it is true, to exist in some degree, but which is, nevertheless, so slight as to have been quite overlooked by the sagacity even of Newton. We know that the resistance of bodies is, chiefly, in proportion to their density. Absolute coalescence is absolute density. Where there are no interspaces, there can be no yielding. An ether, absolutely dense, would put an infinitely more effectual stop to the progress of a star than would an ether of adamant or of iron.

P. I see a huge problem with the idea of complete merging; and that is the very minimal resistance experienced by celestial bodies as they move through space—a resistance that has been confirmed, it’s true, to exist to some extent, but is so negligible that even Newton failed to notice it. We know that the resistance of objects is mainly related to their density. Complete merging means complete density. Where there are no gaps, there can be no flexibility. An ether that is completely dense would stop a star's movement far more effectively than an ether made of adamant or iron.

V. Your objection is answered with an ease which is nearly in the ratio of its apparent unanswerability.—As regards the progress of the star, it can make no difference whether the star passes through the ether or the ether through it. There is no astronomical error more unaccountable than that which reconciles the known retardation of the comets with the idea of their passage through an ether: for, however rare this ether be supposed, it would put a stop to all sidereal revolution in a very far briefer period than has been admitted by those astronomers who have endeavored to slur over a point which they found it impossible to comprehend. The retardation actually experienced is, on the other hand, about that which might be expected from the friction of the ether in the instantaneous passage through the orb. In the one case, the retarding force is momentary and complete within itself—in the other it is endlessly accumulative.

V. Your objection is addressed with a simplicity that matches its apparent complexity. Regarding the movement of the star, it doesn't matter whether the star moves through the ether or the ether moves through it. There’s no greater astronomical mistake than reconciling the observed slowing of comets with the idea of them moving through an ether: because, no matter how thin this ether is thought to be, it would halt all starlike motion much sooner than astronomers who have tried to ignore this issue have accepted. The slowing that’s actually observed aligns with what could be expected from the friction of the ether during the direct passage through the body. In one scenario, the retarding force is temporary and self-contained; in the other, it builds up endlessly.

P. But in all this—in this identification of mere matter with God—is there nothing of irreverence? [I was forced to repeat this question before the sleep-waker fully comprehended my meaning.]

P. But in all this—in this identification of just matter with God—is there nothing disrespectful about it? [I had to ask this question again before the sleep-waker fully understood what I meant.]

V. Can you say why matter should be less reverenced than mind? But you forget that the matter of which I speak is, in all respects, the very “mind” or “spirit” of the schools, so far as regards its high capacities, and is, moreover, the “matter” of these schools at the same time. God, with all the powers attributed to spirit, is but the perfection of matter.

V. Can you explain why matter should be valued less than mind? But you overlook that the matter I’m talking about is, in every way, the true “mind” or “spirit” of the schools when it comes to its great abilities, and is also the “matter” of these schools at the same time. God, with all the qualities associated with spirit, is just the ultimate form of matter.

P. You assert, then, that the unparticled matter, in motion, is thought?

P. So you’re saying that matter without particles, when it’s in motion, is thought?

V. In general, this motion is the universal thought of the universal mind. This thought creates. All created things are but the thoughts of God.

V. Overall, this movement represents the collective idea of the universal mind. This idea brings things into existence. Everything that is created is simply a thought of God.

P. You say, “in general.”

You say, “generally speaking.”

V. Yes. The universal mind is God. For new individualities, matter is necessary.

V. Yes. The universal mind is God. For new individualities, matter is essential.

P. But you now speak of “mind” and “matter” as do the metaphysicians.

P. But you're now talking about "mind" and "matter" like the metaphysicians do.

V. Yes—to avoid confusion. When I say “mind,” I mean the unparticled or ultimate matter; by “matter,” I intend all else.

V. Yes—to avoid confusion. When I say “mind,” I mean the simplest or ultimate substance; by “matter,” I mean everything else.

P. You were saying that “for new individualities matter is necessary.”

P. You mentioned that "matter is essential for new individualities."

V. Yes; for mind, existing unincorporate, is merely God. To create individual, thinking beings, it was necessary to incarnate portions of the divine mind. Thus man is individualized. Divested of corporate investiture, he were God. Now, the particular motion of the incarnated portions of the unparticled matter is the thought of man; as the motion of the whole is that of God.

V. Yes; because the mind, existing separately, is essentially God. To create individual, thinking beings, it was necessary to embody parts of the divine mind. This is how man becomes unique. Without any collective identity, he would be God. Now, the specific activity of the embodied parts of unformed matter is the thought of man; just as the movement of the whole is that of God.

P. You say that divested of the body man will be God?

P. Are you saying that without the body, a person will become God?

V. [After much hesitation.] I could not have said this; it is an absurdity.

V. [After a lot of hesitation.] I couldn't have said this; it's ridiculous.

P. [Referring to my notes.] You did say that “divested of corporate investiture man were God.”

P. [Looking at my notes.] You did say that "without corporate identity, a person was God."

V. And this is true. Man thus divested would be God—would be unindividualized. But he can never be thus divested—at least never will be—else we must imagine an action of God returning upon itself—a purposeless and futile action. Man is a creature. Creatures are thoughts of God. It is the nature of thought to be irrevocable.

V. And this is true. A man stripped of individuality would be like God—would be unindividualized. But he can never be stripped of this individuality—at least he never will be—otherwise we have to imagine God acting upon Himself, which would be pointless and futile. Man is a creation. Creations are thoughts of God. It is the nature of thought to be irreversible.

P. I do not comprehend. You say that man will never put off the body?

P. I don’t understand. Are you saying that a person will never shed the body?

V. I say that he will never be bodiless.

V. I say that he will never be without a body.

P. Explain.

P. Explain.

V. There are two bodies—the rudimental and the complete; corresponding with the two conditions of the worm and the butterfly. What we call “death,” is but the painful metamorphosis. Our present incarnation is progressive, preparatory, temporary. Our future is perfected, ultimate, immortal. The ultimate life is the full design.

V. There are two forms—the basic and the complete; reflecting the two stages of the worm and the butterfly. What we refer to as “death” is just a difficult transformation. Our current existence is a step forward, a preparation, a temporary phase. Our future is perfected, final, and eternal. The ultimate life represents the full plan.

P. But of the worm’s metamorphosis we are palpably cognizant.

P. But we are clearly aware of the worm's transformation.

V. We, certainly—but not the worm. The matter of which our rudimental body is composed, is within the ken of the organs of that body; or, more distinctly, our rudimental organs are adapted to the matter of which is formed the rudimental body; but not to that of which the ultimate is composed. The ultimate body thus escapes our rudimental senses, and we perceive only the shell which falls, in decaying, from the inner form; not that inner form itself; but this inner form, as well as the shell, is appreciable by those who have already acquired the ultimate life.

V. We, definitely—but not the worm. The stuff that our basic body is made of is understandable to the organs of that body; or, to be more precise, our basic organs are designed for the matter that makes up the basic body, but not for what the ultimate body is made of. The ultimate body thus eludes our basic senses, and we only see the outer shell that falls away as it decays from the inner form; we don’t perceive the inner form itself. However, both the inner form and the shell can be understood by those who have already attained the ultimate life.

P. You have often said that the mesmeric state very nearly resembles death. How is this?

P. You’ve often mentioned that the hypnotic state is very similar to being dead. What do you mean by that?

V. When I say that it resembles death, I mean that it resembles the ultimate life; for when I am entranced the senses of my rudimental life are in abeyance, and I perceive external things directly, without organs, through a medium which I shall employ in the ultimate, unorganized life.

V. When I say it feels like death, I mean it feels like the deepest form of life; because when I'm in a trance, my basic senses fade away, and I directly perceive everything around me, without any physical organs, through a medium that I'll use in the final, unstructured form of existence.

P. Unorganized?

P. Disorganized?

V. Yes; organs are contrivances by which the individual is brought into sensible relation with particular classes and forms of matter, to the exclusion of other classes and forms. The organs of man are adapted to his rudimental condition, and to that only; his ultimate condition, being unorganized, is of unlimited comprehension in all points but one—the nature of the volition of God—that is to say, the motion of the unparticled matter. You will have a distinct idea of the ultimate body by conceiving it to be entire brain. This it is not; but a conception of this nature will bring you near a comprehension of what it is. A luminous body imparts vibration to the luminiferous ether. The vibrations generate similar ones within the retina; these again communicate similar ones to the optic nerve. The nerve conveys similar ones to the brain; the brain, also, similar ones to the unparticled matter which permeates it. The motion of this latter is thought, of which perception is the first undulation. This is the mode by which the mind of the rudimental life communicates with the external world; and this external world is, to the rudimental life, limited, through the idiosyncrasy of its organs. But in the ultimate, unorganized life, the external world reaches the whole body, (which is of a substance having affinity to brain, as I have said,) with no other intervention than that of an infinitely rarer ether than even the luminiferous; and to this ether—in unison with it—the whole body vibrates, setting in motion the unparticled matter which permeates it. It is to the absence of idiosyncratic organs, therefore, that we must attribute the nearly unlimited perception of the ultimate life. To rudimental beings, organs are the cages necessary to confine them until fledged.

V. Yes; organs are mechanisms that connect individuals to specific types and forms of matter while excluding others. Human organs are suited for their basic state, and only for that; their ultimate state, being unorganized, has an infinite capacity in all aspects but one—the nature of God's will—that is, the movement of unparticled matter. You can get a clear idea of the ultimate body by imagining it as a complete brain. While that’s not entirely accurate, this kind of thought will bring you closer to understanding what it actually is. A light-emitting body sends vibrations into the luminiferous ether. These vibrations create similar ones in the retina, which then communicate similar ones to the optic nerve. The nerve transmits similar signals to the brain; the brain, in turn, sends similar signals to the unparticled matter that fills it. The motion of this matter is thought, with perception being the first ripple. This is how the mind of basic life interacts with the outside world; and to this basic life, the external world is limited by the uniqueness of its organs. However, in ultimate, unorganized life, the external world affects the entire body, which is made of a substance similar to brain, as I mentioned, with no other barrier than an infinitely rarer ether than luminiferous ether; and the whole body vibrates in harmony with this ether, setting the unparticled matter within it into motion. Therefore, we can attribute the almost limitless perception of ultimate life to the lack of unique organs. For basic beings, organs are the cages needed to keep them contained until they are fully developed.

P. You speak of rudimental “beings.” Are there other rudimental thinking beings than man?

P. You talk about basic "beings." Are there any other basic thinking beings besides humans?

V. The multitudinous conglomeration of rare matter into nebulæ, planets, suns, and other bodies which are neither nebulæ, suns, nor planets, is for the sole purpose of supplying pabulum for the idiosyncrasy of the organs of an infinity of rudimental beings. But for the necessity of the rudimental, prior to the ultimate life, there would have been no bodies such as these. Each of these is tenanted by a distinct variety of organic, rudimental, thinking creatures. In all, the organs vary with the features of the place tenanted. At death, or metamorphosis, these creatures, enjoying the ultimate life—immortality—and cognizant of all secrets but the one, act all things and pass everywhere by mere volition:—indwelling, not the stars, which to us seem the sole palpabilities, and for the accommodation of which we blindly deem space created—but that SPACE itself—that infinity of which the truly substantive vastness swallows up the star-shadows—blotting them out as non-entities from the perception of the angels.

V. The endless mix of unique materials into nebulae, planets, suns, and other bodies that aren't just nebulae, suns, or planets exists solely to provide nourishment for the unique characteristics of the organs of countless basic beings. Without the need for these basic forms, which come before ultimate life, there wouldn't be bodies like these. Each of these is inhabited by a different type of organic, basic, thinking creatures. In each case, the organs change with the characteristics of the place they inhabit. At death or transformation, these creatures, experiencing the ultimate life—immortality—and aware of all secrets except the one, can act and move everywhere just by willing it:—not possessing the stars, which to us appear as the only tangible things, and for which we mistakenly think space was created—but that SPACE itself—that infinite expanse that truly vast size consumes the shadows of the stars—erasing them from the perception of the angels.

P. You say that “but for the necessity of the rudimental life” there would have been no stars. But why this necessity?

P. You say that “if it weren't for the necessity of basic life” there wouldn't be any stars. But why is this necessity?

V. In the inorganic life, as well as in the inorganic matter generally, there is nothing to impede the action of one simple unique law—the Divine Volition. With the view of producing impediment, the organic life and matter, (complex, substantial, and law-encumbered,) were contrived.

V. In inorganic life, just like in inorganic matter overall, nothing prevents the influence of one simple unique law—the Divine Will. To create obstacles, organic life and matter—complex, substantial, and burdened by laws—were designed.

P. But again—why need this impediment have been produced?

P. But again—why did this obstacle need to be created?

V. The result of law inviolate is perfection—right—negative happiness. The result of law violate is imperfection, wrong, positive pain. Through the impediments afforded by the number, complexity, and substantiality of the laws of organic life and matter, the violation of law is rendered, to a certain extent, practicable. Thus pain, which in the inorganic life is impossible, is possible in the organic.

V. The outcome of unbroken law is perfection—correctness—absence of happiness. The outcome of broken law is imperfection, incorrectness, presence of pain. Because of the challenges posed by the number, complexity, and significance of the laws of living organisms and matter, breaking the law becomes, to some extent, doable. Therefore, pain, which cannot occur in inorganic life, can happen in organic life.

P. But to what good end is pain thus rendered possible?

P. But what is the purpose of pain being allowed to happen?

V. All things are either good or bad by comparison. A sufficient analysis will show that pleasure, in all cases, is but the contrast of pain. Positive pleasure is a mere idea. To be happy at any one point we must have suffered at the same. Never to suffer would have been never to have been blessed. But it has been shown that, in the inorganic life, pain cannot be thus the necessity for the organic. The pain of the primitive life of Earth, is the sole basis of the bliss of the ultimate life in Heaven.

V. Everything is good or bad based on comparison. A thorough analysis will reveal that pleasure, in every case, is just the opposite of pain. Positive pleasure is just an idea. To feel happy at any moment, we must have experienced suffering at some point. To never suffer would mean to never experience blessings. However, it has been shown that, in inorganic life, pain isn’t a requirement for organic life. The pain of primitive existence on Earth is the only foundation for the happiness of ultimate life in Heaven.

P. Still, there is one of your expressions which I find it impossible to comprehend—“the truly substantive vastness of infinity.”

P. Still, there’s one of your phrases that I just can’t understand—“the truly substantive vastness of infinity.”

V. This, probably, is because you have no sufficiently generic conception of the term “substance” itself. We must not regard it as a quality, but as a sentiment:—it is the perception, in thinking beings, of the adaptation of matter to their organization. There are many things on the Earth, which would be nihility to the inhabitants of Venus—many things visible and tangible in Venus, which we could not be brought to appreciate as existing at all. But to the inorganic beings—to the angels—the whole of the unparticled matter is substance—that is to say, the whole of what we term “space” is to them the truest substantiality;—the stars, meantime, through what we consider their materiality, escaping the angelic sense, just in proportion as the unparticled matter, through what we consider its immateriality, eludes the organic.

V. This is probably because you don’t have a clear enough idea of what “substance” really means. We shouldn’t think of it as a quality, but as a feeling: it’s the awareness, in thinking beings, of how matter fits with their makeup. There are many things on Earth that would seem like nothing to the inhabitants of Venus—many things that are visible and tangible in Venus that we wouldn’t be able to recognize as existing at all. But for inorganic beings—for angels—the entirety of unparticle matter is substance; in other words, everything we call “space” is for them the most real substance. Meanwhile, the stars, based on what we view as their material nature, escape the angelic perception just as much as unparticle matter, based on what we see as its immaterial nature, slips past the organic sense.

As the sleep-waker pronounced these latter words, in a feeble tone, I observed on his countenance a singular expression, which somewhat alarmed me, and induced me to awake him at once. No sooner had I done this, than, with a bright smile irradiating all his features, he fell back upon his pillow and expired. I noticed that in less than a minute afterward his corpse had all the stern rigidity of stone. His brow was of the coldness of ice. Thus, ordinarily, should it have appeared, only after long pressure from Azrael’s hand. Had the sleep-waker, indeed, during the latter portion of his discourse, been addressing me from out the region of the shadows?

As the sleep-waker spoke those last words in a weak voice, I noticed a strange expression on his face that worried me, making me wake him immediately. The moment I did, he smiled brightly and fell back onto his pillow, where he died. I saw that within a minute, his body had become as stiff as stone. His forehead was as cold as ice. Normally, that kind of rigidity would only occur after a long time under Azrael’s touch. Had the sleep-waker, in fact, been speaking to me from the shadows in the last part of his speech?

THE FACTS IN THE CASE OF M. VALDEMAR

Of course I shall not pretend to consider it any matter for wonder, that the extraordinary case of M. Valdemar has excited discussion. It would have been a miracle had it not—especially under the circumstances. Through the desire of all parties concerned, to keep the affair from the public, at least for the present, or until we had farther opportunities for investigation—through our endeavors to effect this—a garbled or exaggerated account made its way into society, and became the source of many unpleasant misrepresentations; and, very naturally, of a great deal of disbelief.

Of course, I won’t pretend it’s surprising that the unusual case of M. Valdemar has sparked discussion. It would have been a miracle if it hadn’t—especially considering the circumstances. Because everyone involved wanted to keep the matter away from the public, at least for now, or until we had more chances to investigate—due to our efforts to achieve this—a distorted or exaggerated version got out into society, leading to many unpleasant misunderstandings and, understandably, a lot of disbelief.

It is now rendered necessary that I give the facts—as far as I comprehend them myself. They are, succinctly, these:

It’s now necessary for me to share the facts—at least as much as I understand them. They are, briefly, as follows:

My attention, for the last three years, had been repeatedly drawn to the subject of Mesmerism; and, about nine months ago it occurred to me, quite suddenly, that in the series of experiments made hitherto, there had been a very remarkable and most unaccountable omission:—no person had as yet been mesmerized in articulo mortis. It remained to be seen, first, whether, in such condition, there existed in the patient any susceptibility to the magnetic influence; secondly, whether, if any existed, it was impaired or increased by the condition; thirdly, to what extent, or for how long a period, the encroachments of Death might be arrested by the process. There were other points to be ascertained, but these most excited my curiosity—the last in especial, from the immensely important character of its consequences.

For the past three years, I had been increasingly interested in Mesmerism. About nine months ago, it suddenly struck me that there had been a very strange and significant oversight in all the experiments conducted so far: no one had been mesmerized right at the point of death. It remained to be seen, first, whether the patient in such a condition had any susceptibility to the magnetic influence; secondly, whether this susceptibility was diminished or heightened by their state; and thirdly, how much, or for how long, the approach of death could be paused by the process. There were other things to find out, but these were the ones that sparked my curiosity the most—the last being especially intriguing because of its potentially huge implications.

In looking around me for some subject by whose means I might test these particulars, I was brought to think of my friend, M. Ernest Valdemar, the well-known compiler of the “Bibliotheca Forensica,” and author (under the nom de plume of Issachar Marx) of the Polish versions of “Wallenstein” and “Gargantua.” M. Valdemar, who has resided principally at Harlem, N.Y., since the year 1839, is (or was) particularly noticeable for the extreme spareness of his person—his lower limbs much resembling those of John Randolph; and, also, for the whiteness of his whiskers, in violent contrast to the blackness of his hair—the latter, in consequence, being very generally mistaken for a wig. His temperament was markedly nervous, and rendered him a good subject for mesmeric experiment. On two or three occasions I had put him to sleep with little difficulty, but was disappointed in other results which his peculiar constitution had naturally led me to anticipate. His will was at no period positively, or thoroughly, under my control, and in regard to clairvoyance, I could accomplish with him nothing to be relied upon. I always attributed my failure at these points to the disordered state of his health. For some months previous to my becoming acquainted with him, his physicians had declared him in a confirmed phthisis. It was his custom, indeed, to speak calmly of his approaching dissolution, as of a matter neither to be avoided nor regretted.

As I looked around for a topic to test these details, I thought of my friend, M. Ernest Valdemar, the well-known compiler of the “Bibliotheca Forensica” and author (under the pen name Issachar Marx) of the Polish versions of “Wallenstein” and “Gargantua.” M. Valdemar, who has mostly lived in Harlem, NY, since 1839, is (or was) particularly noticeable for his very thin physique—his legs resembling those of John Randolph; and also for the whiteness of his sideburns, which sharply contrasted with the blackness of his hair—the latter often mistaken for a wig. His temperament was distinctly nervous, making him a good candidate for mesmeric experimentation. On two or three occasions, I managed to put him to sleep with little difficulty, but I was disappointed with other results I had hoped for based on his unique constitution. His will was never truly under my control, and with regard to clairvoyance, I could achieve nothing reliable with him. I always attributed my failures in these areas to his poor health. For several months before I met him, his doctors had said he had advanced tuberculosis. He often talked calmly about his impending death, as if it were something that could neither be avoided nor regretted.

When the ideas to which I have alluded first occurred to me, it was of course very natural that I should think of M. Valdemar. I knew the steady philosophy of the man too well to apprehend any scruples from him; and he had no relatives in America who would be likely to interfere. I spoke to him frankly upon the subject; and, to my surprise, his interest seemed vividly excited. I say to my surprise, for, although he had always yielded his person freely to my experiments, he had never before given me any tokens of sympathy with what I did. His disease was of that character which would admit of exact calculation in respect to the epoch of its termination in death; and it was finally arranged between us that he would send for me about twenty-four hours before the period announced by his physicians as that of his decease.

When I first had the ideas I mentioned, it was only natural that I thought of M. Valdemar. I knew him well enough not to expect any hesitation from him, and he had no relatives in America who would likely interfere. I spoke to him openly about it, and, to my surprise, he seemed genuinely interested. I say "to my surprise" because, while he had always willingly allowed me to experiment on him, he had never shown any signs of enthusiasm for what I was doing. His illness was such that I could accurately predict when it would lead to his death, and we finally agreed that he would call for me about twenty-four hours before the time his doctors indicated he would pass away.

It is now rather more than seven months since I received, from M. Valdemar himself, the subjoined note:

It has now been more than seven months since I received the note below from M. Valdemar himself:

MY DEAR P——,

MY DEAR P——,

You may as well come now. D—— and F—— are agreed that I cannot hold out beyond to-morrow midnight; and I think they have hit the time very nearly.

You might as well come now. D—— and F—— agree that I can't last past tomorrow midnight; and I think they're pretty close with their timing.

VALDEMAR

VALDEMAR

I received this note within half an hour after it was written, and in fifteen minutes more I was in the dying man’s chamber. I had not seen him for ten days, and was appalled by the fearful alteration which the brief interval had wrought in him. His face wore a leaden hue; the eyes were utterly lustreless; and the emaciation was so extreme that the skin had been broken through by the cheek-bones. His expectoration was excessive. The pulse was barely perceptible. He retained, nevertheless, in a very remarkable manner, both his mental power and a certain degree of physical strength. He spoke with distinctness—took some palliative medicines without aid—and, when I entered the room, was occupied in penciling memoranda in a pocket-book. He was propped up in the bed by pillows. Doctors D—— and F—— were in attendance.

I got this note about half an hour after it was written, and in another fifteen minutes, I was in the dying man's room. I hadn't seen him for ten days, and I was shocked by how drastically he had changed in such a short time. His face had a grayish color; his eyes were completely dull; and he was so thin that his cheekbones were jutting out. He was coughing a lot. His pulse was barely there. However, he still surprisingly had both his mental clarity and some physical strength. He spoke clearly—took some pain relief medication on his own—and when I walked in, he was busy jotting down notes in a pocketbook. He was propped up in bed with pillows. Doctors D—— and F—— were present.

After pressing Valdemar’s hand, I took these gentlemen aside, and obtained from them a minute account of the patient’s condition. The left lung had been for eighteen months in a semi-osseous or cartilaginous state, and was, of course, entirely useless for all purposes of vitality. The right, in its upper portion, was also partially, if not thoroughly, ossified, while the lower region was merely a mass of purulent tubercles, running one into another. Several extensive perforations existed; and, at one point, permanent adhesion to the ribs had taken place. These appearances in the right lobe were of comparatively recent date. The ossification had proceeded with very unusual rapidity; no sign of it had been discovered a month before, and the adhesion had only been observed during the three previous days. Independently of the phthisis, the patient was suspected of aneurism of the aorta; but on this point the osseous symptoms rendered an exact diagnosis impossible. It was the opinion of both physicians that M. Valdemar would die about midnight on the morrow (Sunday). It was then seven o’clock on Saturday evening.

After shaking Valdemar’s hand, I took these gentlemen aside and got a detailed update on the patient’s condition. The left lung had been in a semi-bony or cartilaginous state for eighteen months and was completely non-functional for any vital purpose. The upper part of the right lung was also partially, if not entirely, ossified, while the lower section was simply a mass of pus-filled tubercles, merging into one another. There were several large perforations, and at one spot, it had permanently fused to the ribs. These signs in the right lobe were fairly recent. The ossification had progressed at an unusually fast rate; no signs of it had been found a month earlier, and the adhesion had only been noted in the last three days. Besides the tuberculosis, the patient was suspected of having an aortic aneurysm, but the bony symptoms made a precise diagnosis impossible. Both doctors believed that M. Valdemar would die around midnight the next day (Sunday). At that point, it was seven o’clock on Saturday evening.

On quitting the invalid’s bed-side to hold conversation with myself, Doctors D—— and F—— had bidden him a final farewell. It had not been their intention to return; but, at my request, they agreed to look in upon the patient about ten the next night.

On leaving the sick person's bedside to talk to myself, Doctors D—— and F—— had said their final goodbyes. They didn’t plan to come back, but at my request, they agreed to check on the patient around ten the next night.

When they had gone, I spoke freely with M. Valdemar on the subject of his approaching dissolution, as well as, more particularly, of the experiment proposed. He still professed himself quite willing and even anxious to have it made, and urged me to commence it at once. A male and a female nurse were in attendance; but I did not feel myself altogether at liberty to engage in a task of this character with no more reliable witnesses than these people, in case of sudden accident, might prove. I therefore postponed operations until about eight the next night, when the arrival of a medical student with whom I had some acquaintance, (Mr. Theodore L—l,) relieved me from farther embarrassment. It had been my design, originally, to wait for the physicians; but I was induced to proceed, first, by the urgent entreaties of M. Valdemar, and secondly, by my conviction that I had not a moment to lose, as he was evidently sinking fast.

When they left, I talked openly with M. Valdemar about his impending death and the experiment we were considering. He still claimed to be eager and even anxious to go ahead with it, urging me to start right away. A male and female nurse were present, but I didn't feel comfortable beginning such a task with just them as witnesses in case something went wrong. So, I decided to wait until around eight the next night when a medical student I knew, Mr. Theodore L—l, arrived, which eased my concerns. Initially, I planned to wait for the doctors, but I was convinced to move forward, first by M. Valdemar's urgent pleas and second by my belief that I couldn't waste any time, as he was clearly deteriorating quickly.

Mr. L—l was so kind as to accede to my desire that he would take notes of all that occurred, and it is from his memoranda that what I now have to relate is, for the most part, either condensed or copied verbatim.

Mr. L—l was gracious enough to agree to my request that he take notes on everything that happened, and it’s from his notes that what I’m about to share is mostly either summarized or copied word for word.

It wanted about five minutes of eight when, taking the patient’s hand, I begged him to state, as distinctly as he could, to Mr. L—l, whether he (M. Valdemar) was entirely willing that I should make the experiment of mesmerizing him in his then condition.

It was just about five minutes to eight when, holding the patient’s hand, I asked him to clearly tell Mr. L—l whether he (M. Valdemar) fully agreed to let me attempt the experiment of mesmerizing him in his current state.

He replied feebly, yet quite audibly, “Yes, I wish to be. I fear you have mesmerized”—adding immediately afterwards: “I fear you have deferred it too long.”

He answered weakly, but clearly, "Yes, I want to be. I'm afraid you have mesmerized me"—then he added right after: "I'm worried you have waited too long."

While he spoke thus, I commenced the passes which I had already found most effectual in subduing him. He was evidently influenced with the first lateral stroke of my hand across his forehead; but although I exerted all my powers, no further perceptible effect was induced until some minutes after ten o’clock, when Doctors D—— and F—— called, according to appointment. I explained to them, in a few words, what I designed, and as they opposed no objection, saying that the patient was already in the death agony, I proceeded without hesitation—exchanging, however, the lateral passes for downward ones, and directing my gaze entirely into the right eye of the sufferer.

While he spoke, I began the movements that I had already found most effective in calming him. He clearly reacted to the first stroke of my hand across his forehead; however, despite putting in all my effort, I didn’t see any noticeable effect until a few minutes after ten o’clock, when Doctors D—— and F—— arrived as planned. I briefly explained what I intended to do, and since they raised no objections, stating that the patient was already in the throes of death, I moved forward without hesitation—though I switched from lateral movements to downward ones, focusing my gaze completely on the right eye of the suffering man.

By this time his pulse was imperceptible and his breathing was stertorous, and at intervals of half a minute.

By this time, his pulse was barely detectable, and his breathing was heavy and labored, happening every half minute.

This condition was nearly unaltered for a quarter of an hour. At the expiration of this period, however, a natural although a very deep sigh escaped the bosom of the dying man, and the stertorous breathing ceased—that is to say, its stertorousness was no longer apparent; the intervals were undiminished. The patient’s extremities were of an icy coldness.

This condition lasted almost unchanged for fifteen minutes. After that time, though, a deep, natural sigh escaped from the chest of the dying man, and the labored breathing stopped—meaning it was no longer labored; the intervals remained the same. The patient's hands and feet were icy cold.

At five minutes before eleven I perceived unequivocal signs of the mesmeric influence. The glassy roll of the eye was changed for that expression of uneasy inward examination which is never seen except in cases of sleep-waking, and which it is quite impossible to mistake. With a few rapid lateral passes I made the lids quiver, as in incipient sleep, and with a few more I closed them altogether. I was not satisfied, however, with this, but continued the manipulations vigorously, and with the fullest exertion of the will, until I had completely stiffened the limbs of the slumberer, after placing them in a seemingly easy position. The legs were at full length; the arms were nearly so, and reposed on the bed at a moderate distance from the loin. The head was very slightly elevated.

At five minutes before eleven, I noticed clear signs of the mesmeric influence. The glassy look in his eyes shifted to that expression of uncomfortable introspection that's only seen in cases of sleep-walking, which is impossible to confuse with anything else. With a few quick side movements, I made his eyelids flutter, as if he were falling asleep, and with a few more, I closed them completely. However, I wasn’t satisfied with that; I continued the manipulations energetically, using all my willpower, until I had completely stiffened the limbs of the sleeper, after arranging them in a position that looked comfortable. His legs were fully extended, his arms were nearly so, resting on the bed at a moderate distance from his hips, and his head was slightly elevated.

When I had accomplished this, it was fully midnight, and I requested the gentlemen present to examine M. Valdemar’s condition. After a few experiments, they admitted him to be an unusually perfect state of mesmeric trance. The curiosity of both the physicians was greatly excited. Dr. D—— resolved at once to remain with the patient all night, while Dr. F—— took leave with a promise to return at daybreak. Mr. L—l and the nurses remained.

When I finished this, it was exactly midnight, and I asked the gentlemen present to check M. Valdemar’s condition. After a few tests, they agreed that he was in an unusually perfect state of mesmeric trance. Both doctors were very curious. Dr. D—— decided to stay with the patient all night while Dr. F—— said goodbye, promising to return at dawn. Mr. L—l and the nurses stayed.

We left M. Valdemar entirely undisturbed until about three o’clock in the morning, when I approached him and found him in precisely the same condition as when Dr. F—— went away—that is to say, he lay in the same position; the pulse was imperceptible; the breathing was gentle (scarcely noticeable, unless through the application of a mirror to the lips); the eyes were closed naturally; and the limbs were as rigid and as cold as marble. Still, the general appearance was certainly not that of death.

We left M. Valdemar completely undisturbed until about three o’clock in the morning when I went over to him and found him in exactly the same condition as when Dr. F—— left—that is to say, he was lying in the same position; his pulse was undetectable; his breathing was soft (barely noticeable, unless you held a mirror up to his lips); his eyes were closed normally; and his limbs were as stiff and cold as marble. Still, he didn’t look dead at all.

As I approached M. Valdemar I made a kind of half effort to influence his right arm into pursuit of my own, as I passed the latter gently to and fro above his person. In such experiments with this patient, I had never perfectly succeeded before, and assuredly I had little thought of succeeding now; but to my astonishment, his arm very readily, although feebly, followed every direction I assigned it with mine. I determined to hazard a few words of conversation.

As I got closer to M. Valdemar, I made a half-hearted attempt to guide his right arm to follow mine, as I gently moved mine back and forth above him. In my previous experiments with this patient, I had never fully succeeded, and I certainly didn’t expect to succeed now; but to my surprise, his arm easily, though weakly, followed every motion I made with mine. I decided to take a chance and start a conversation.

“M. Valdemar,” I said, “are you asleep?” He made no answer, but I perceived a tremor about the lips, and was thus induced to repeat the question, again and again. At its third repetition, his whole frame was agitated by a very slight shivering; the eyelids unclosed themselves so far as to display a white line of the ball; the lips moved sluggishly, and from between them, in a barely audible whisper, issued the words:

“M. Valdemar,” I said, “are you asleep?” He didn't respond, but I noticed a tremor in his lips, which made me repeat the question over and over. On the third time, his entire body shivered slightly; his eyelids opened just enough to show a bit of the white of his eyes; his lips moved slowly, and from between them came a barely audible whisper:

“Yes;—asleep now. Do not wake me!—let me die so!”

“Yes;—asleep now. Don’t wake me!—let me die like this!”

I here felt the limbs and found them as rigid as ever. The right arm, as before, obeyed the direction of my hand. I questioned the sleep-waker again:

I felt the limbs and found them just as stiff as before. The right arm, as always, responded to my hand's movement. I questioned the sleep-waker again:

“Do you still feel pain in the breast, M. Valdemar?”

“Do you still feel pain in your chest, M. Valdemar?”

The answer now was immediate, but even less audible than before:

The answer now came right away, but it was even quieter than before:

“No pain—I am dying.”

“No pain—I'm dying.”

I did not think it advisable to disturb him farther just then, and nothing more was said or done until the arrival of Dr. F——, who came a little before sunrise, and expressed unbounded astonishment at finding the patient still alive. After feeling the pulse and applying a mirror to the lips, he requested me to speak to the sleep-waker again. I did so, saying:

I didn’t think it was a good idea to bother him any more at that moment, and nothing else was said or done until Dr. F—— arrived, just before sunrise, and expressed great surprise at finding the patient still alive. After checking the pulse and holding a mirror up to the lips, he asked me to talk to the person who was still asleep. I did so, saying:

“M. Valdemar, do you still sleep?”

“M. Valdemar, are you still sleeping?”

As before, some minutes elapsed ere a reply was made; and during the interval the dying man seemed to be collecting his energies to speak. At my fourth repetition of the question, he said very faintly, almost inaudibly:

As before, a few minutes went by before a response was given; and during that time, the dying man appeared to be gathering his strength to speak. After I asked the question for the fourth time, he replied very softly, nearly silently:

“Yes; still asleep—dying.”

“Yes; still asleep—dying.”

It was now the opinion, or rather the wish, of the physicians, that M. Valdemar should be suffered to remain undisturbed in his present apparently tranquil condition, until death should supervene—and this, it was generally agreed, must now take place within a few minutes. I concluded, however, to speak to him once more, and merely repeated my previous question.

It was now the view, or rather the desire, of the doctors that M. Valdemar should be allowed to stay undisturbed in his seemingly calm state until death occurred—and it was widely accepted that this would likely happen in just a few minutes. However, I decided to talk to him one more time and simply repeated my earlier question.

While I spoke, there came a marked change over the countenance of the sleep-waker. The eyes rolled themselves slowly open, the pupils disappearing upwardly; the skin generally assumed a cadaverous hue, resembling not so much parchment as white paper; and the circular hectic spots which, hitherto, had been strongly defined in the centre of each cheek, went out at once. I use this expression, because the suddenness of their departure put me in mind of nothing so much as the extinguishment of a candle by a puff of the breath. The upper lip, at the same time, writhed itself away from the teeth, which it had previously covered completely; while the lower jaw fell with an audible jerk, leaving the mouth widely extended, and disclosing in full view the swollen and blackened tongue. I presume that no member of the party then present had been unaccustomed to death-bed horrors; but so hideous beyond conception was the appearance of M. Valdemar at this moment, that there was a general shrinking back from the region of the bed.

While I spoke, a noticeable change came over the face of the sleep-waker. His eyes slowly opened, the pupils rolling up; his skin took on a deathly pale color, looking more like white paper than parchment; and the circular red spots that had been sharply defined in the center of each cheek disappeared instantly. I use this description because the abruptness of their vanishing reminded me of a candle being snuffed out by a breath. At the same time, his upper lip curled away from the teeth it had fully covered before, and his lower jaw dropped with a loud thud, leaving his mouth wide open and showing his swollen, blackened tongue. I assume that everyone in the room was familiar with the horrors of death, but M. Valdemar's appearance at that moment was so horrifying that everyone instinctively recoiled from the bed.

I now feel that I have reached a point of this narrative at which every reader will be startled into positive disbelief. It is my business, however, simply to proceed.

I now feel that I have reached a point in this story where every reader will be shocked into total disbelief. My job, though, is just to carry on.

There was no longer the faintest sign of vitality in M. Valdemar; and concluding him to be dead, we were consigning him to the charge of the nurses, when a strong vibratory motion was observable in the tongue. This continued for perhaps a minute. At the expiration of this period, there issued from the distended and motionless jaws a voice—such as it would be madness in me to attempt describing. There are, indeed, two or three epithets which might be considered as applicable to it in part; I might say, for example, that the sound was harsh, and broken and hollow; but the hideous whole is indescribable, for the simple reason that no similar sounds have ever jarred upon the ear of humanity. There were two particulars, nevertheless, which I thought then, and still think, might fairly be stated as characteristic of the intonation—as well adapted to convey some idea of its unearthly peculiarity. In the first place, the voice seemed to reach our ears—at least mine—from a vast distance, or from some deep cavern within the earth. In the second place, it impressed me (I fear, indeed, that it will be impossible to make myself comprehended) as gelatinous or glutinous matters impress the sense of touch.

There was no longer the slightest sign of life in M. Valdemar, and assuming he was dead, we were about to hand him over to the nurses when we noticed a strong vibratory motion in his tongue. This lasted for about a minute. After that time, a voice emerged from his distended and motionless jaws—one that I can't even begin to describe. There are, of course, a couple of words that might partially fit; for instance, I could say the sound was harsh, broken, and hollow. But the overall horror of it is beyond description, simply because there are no similar sounds that have ever been heard by humanity. However, there were two things that I thought then, and still believe, could accurately convey the unique quality of the voice. Firstly, it felt like the voice was coming to us—at least to me—from a great distance or from a deep cavern within the earth. Secondly, it struck me (and I fear it's impossible for me to make this clear) as having a texture similar to gelatinous or glutinous substances when touched.

I have spoken both of “sound” and of “voice.” I mean to say that the sound was one of distinct—of even wonderfully, thrillingly distinct—syllabification. M. Valdemar spoke—obviously in reply to the question I had propounded to him a few minutes before. I had asked him, it will be remembered, if he still slept. He now said:

I have talked about both “sound” and “voice.” What I mean is that the sound was distinctly—actually wonderfully, thrillingly distinct—in its syllables. M. Valdemar spoke—clearly in response to the question I had asked him a few minutes earlier. I had asked him, if you recall, whether he was still asleep. He now said:

“Yes;—no;—I have been sleeping—and now—now—I am dead.”

“Yes;—no;—I was sleeping—and now—now—I’m gone.”

No person present even affected to deny, or attempted to repress, the unutterable, shuddering horror which these few words, thus uttered, were so well calculated to convey. Mr. L—l (the student) swooned. The nurses immediately left the chamber, and could not be induced to return. My own impressions I would not pretend to render intelligible to the reader. For nearly an hour, we busied ourselves, silently—without the utterance of a word—in endeavors to revive Mr. L—l. When he came to himself, we addressed ourselves again to an investigation of M. Valdemar’s condition.

No one in the room even pretended to deny or suppress the intense, chilling horror that those few words clearly conveyed. Mr. L—l (the student) fainted. The nurses immediately left the room and wouldn’t be persuaded to come back. I wouldn’t try to explain my own feelings to the reader. For almost an hour, we focused on trying to revive Mr. L—l in silence—without saying a word. When he regained consciousness, we turned our attention back to examining M. Valdemar’s condition.

It remained in all respects as I have last described it, with the exception that the mirror no longer afforded evidence of respiration. An attempt to draw blood from the arm failed. I should mention, too, that this limb was no farther subject to my will. I endeavored in vain to make it follow the direction of my hand. The only real indication, indeed, of the mesmeric influence, was now found in the vibratory movement of the tongue, whenever I addressed M. Valdemar a question. He seemed to be making an effort to reply, but had no longer sufficient volition. To queries put to him by any other person than myself he seemed utterly insensible—although I endeavored to place each member of the company in mesmeric rapport with him. I believe that I have now related all that is necessary to an understanding of the sleep-waker’s state at this epoch. Other nurses were procured; and at ten o’clock I left the house in company with the two physicians and Mr. L—l.

It was just as I described it last time, except the mirror no longer showed any signs of breathing. An attempt to draw blood from the arm was unsuccessful. I should also mention that this limb was no longer under my control. I tried in vain to get it to move in the direction of my hand. The only real sign of the mesmeric influence I noticed was the twitching of the tongue whenever I asked M. Valdemar a question. He seemed to be trying to respond, but didn’t have enough willpower. To questions from anyone other than me, he seemed completely unresponsive—though I tried to put each person in the room into a mesmeric connection with him. I believe I’ve covered everything needed to understand the state of the sleep-waker at this time. Other nurses were brought in, and at ten o’clock, I left the house with the two doctors and Mr. L—l.

In the afternoon we all called again to see the patient. His condition remained precisely the same. We had now some discussion as to the propriety and feasibility of awakening him; but we had little difficulty in agreeing that no good purpose would be served by so doing. It was evident that, so far, death (or what is usually termed death) had been arrested by the mesmeric process. It seemed clear to us all that to awaken M. Valdemar would be merely to insure his instant, or at least his speedy, dissolution.

In the afternoon, we all came back to check on the patient. His condition was still the same. We talked about whether it would be appropriate or possible to wake him up, but we easily agreed that it wouldn't achieve anything good. It was clear to us that, up to this point, death (or what people usually call death) had been paused by the mesmeric process. We all understood that waking M. Valdemar would only guarantee his immediate, or at least quick, death.

From this period until the close of last week—an interval of nearly seven months—we continued to make daily calls at M. Valdemar’s house, accompanied, now and then, by medical and other friends. All this time the sleeper-waker remained exactly as I have last described him. The nurses’ attentions were continual.

From that time until the end of last week—almost seven months—we kept visiting M. Valdemar’s house every day, sometimes joined by medical and other friends. During all this time, the sleeper-waker stayed exactly as I described him last. The nurses were constantly attentive.

It was on Friday last that we finally resolved to make the experiment of awakening, or attempting to awaken him; and it is the (perhaps) unfortunate result of this latter experiment which has given rise to so much discussion in private circles—to so much of what I cannot help thinking unwarranted popular feeling.

It was last Friday that we finally decided to try to wake him up, or at least attempt to wake him; and it is the (perhaps) unfortunate outcome of this latter attempt that has sparked so much discussion in private circles—so much of what I can't help but think is unjustified public sentiment.

For the purpose of relieving M. Valdemar from the mesmeric trance, I made use of the customary passes. These, for a time, were unsuccessful. The first indication of revival was afforded by a partial descent of the iris. It was observed, as especially remarkable, that this lowering of the pupil was accompanied by the profuse out-flowing of a yellowish ichor (from beneath the lids) of a pungent and highly offensive odor.

To ease M. Valdemar out of the hypnotic trance, I used the usual hand movements. At first, they didn't work. The first sign of waking up was the slight drop of the iris. It was particularly noteworthy that this decrease in pupil size was accompanied by a significant flow of a yellowish fluid (from beneath the eyelids) that had a strong and very unpleasant smell.

It was now suggested that I should attempt to influence the patient’s arm, as heretofore. I made the attempt and failed. Dr. F—— then intimated a desire to have me put a question. I did so, as follows:

It was now suggested that I should try to influence the patient’s arm, just like before. I made the attempt and failed. Dr. F—— then hinted that he wanted me to ask a question. I did so, as follows:

“M. Valdemar, can you explain to us what are your feelings or wishes now?”

“M. Valdemar, could you tell us what you’re feeling or wanting right now?”

There was an instant return of the hectic circles on the cheeks; the tongue quivered, or rather rolled violently in the mouth (although the jaws and lips remained rigid as before), and at length the same hideous voice which I have already described, broke forth:

There was an immediate return of the frantic circles on the cheeks; the tongue quivered, or rather rolled violently in the mouth (even though the jaws and lips stayed stiff like before), and eventually, the same awful voice that I already described broke out:

“For God’s sake!—quick!—quick!—put me to sleep—or, quick!—waken me!—quick!—I say to you that I am dead!”

“For God’s sake!—hurry!—hurry!—put me to sleep—or, hurry!—wake me up!—hurry!—I’m telling you that I’m dead!”

I was thoroughly unnerved, and for an instant remained undecided what to do. At first I made an endeavor to recompose the patient; but, failing in this through total abeyance of the will, I retraced my steps and as earnestly struggled to awaken him. In this attempt I soon saw that I should be successful—or at least I soon fancied that my success would be complete—and I am sure that all in the room were prepared to see the patient awaken.

I was really unsettled, and for a moment, I wasn't sure what to do. At first, I tried to calm the patient down, but when that didn't work because I felt completely powerless, I went back and desperately tried to bring him back to consciousness. In that effort, I quickly realized I would succeed—or at least I soon thought I'd be completely successful—and I’m sure everyone in the room was ready to see the patient wake up.

For what really occurred, however, it is quite impossible that any human being could have been prepared.

For what really happened, however, it's totally impossible that any person could have been ready for it.

As I rapidly made the mesmeric passes, amid ejaculations of “dead! dead!” absolutely bursting from the tongue and not from the lips of the sufferer, his whole frame at once—within the space of a single minute, or even less, shrunk—crumbled—absolutely rotted away beneath my hands. Upon the bed, before that whole company, there lay a nearly liquid mass of loathsome—of detestable putrescence.

As I quickly made the mesmerizing moves, with exclamations of "dead! dead!" bursting from my mouth rather than the lips of the sufferer, his entire body—within the span of a minute, or even less—shrank, crumbled, and completely rotted away in my hands. On the bed, in front of the entire group, there lay a mostly liquid mass of disgusting—of repulsive decay.

THE BLACK CAT.

For the most wild, yet most homely narrative which I am about to pen, I neither expect nor solicit belief. Mad indeed would I be to expect it, in a case where my very senses reject their own evidence. Yet, mad am I not—and very surely do I not dream. But to-morrow I die, and to-day I would unburthen my soul. My immediate purpose is to place before the world, plainly, succinctly, and without comment, a series of mere household events. In their consequences, these events have terrified—have tortured—have destroyed me. Yet I will not attempt to expound them. To me, they have presented little but horror—to many they will seem less terrible than barroques. Hereafter, perhaps, some intellect may be found which will reduce my phantasm to the common-place—some intellect more calm, more logical, and far less excitable than my own, which will perceive, in the circumstances I detail with awe, nothing more than an ordinary succession of very natural causes and effects.

For the wildest yet most familiar story I'm about to write, I don't expect or ask for anyone to believe it. It would be crazy to expect that, especially when my own senses doubt what they're telling me. But I'm not crazy—and I'm definitely not dreaming. Tomorrow, I die, and today I want to unload my soul. My main goal is to lay out a series of everyday events for the world, clearly, simply, and without commentary. These events have terrified me—tormented me—destroyed me. Still, I won’t try to explain them. To me, they bring little but horror—but to others, they might seem less frightening than barroques. Maybe in the future, some more rational mind will take my nightmares and view them as just a normal sequence of completely natural causes and effects.

From my infancy I was noted for the docility and humanity of my disposition. My tenderness of heart was even so conspicuous as to make me the jest of my companions. I was especially fond of animals, and was indulged by my parents with a great variety of pets. With these I spent most of my time, and never was so happy as when feeding and caressing them. This peculiarity of character grew with my growth, and in my manhood, I derived from it one of my principal sources of pleasure. To those who have cherished an affection for a faithful and sagacious dog, I need hardly be at the trouble of explaining the nature or the intensity of the gratification thus derivable. There is something in the unselfish and self-sacrificing love of a brute, which goes directly to the heart of him who has had frequent occasion to test the paltry friendship and gossamer fidelity of mere Man.

From my childhood, I was known for my gentle and compassionate nature. My kind heart was so obvious that it became a joke among my friends. I had a special fondness for animals, and my parents indulged me with a wide variety of pets. I spent most of my time with them and was happiest when I was feeding and cuddling them. This characteristic grew as I grew up, and in my adulthood, it became one of my main sources of joy. For those who have loved a loyal and intelligent dog, I don’t need to explain the nature or intensity of the happiness it brings. There’s something about the unselfish and selfless love of an animal that resonates deeply with someone who has often faced the shallow friendships and fragile loyalty of mere Man.

I married early, and was happy to find in my wife a disposition not uncongenial with my own. Observing my partiality for domestic pets, she lost no opportunity of procuring those of the most agreeable kind. We had birds, gold-fish, a fine dog, rabbits, a small monkey, and a cat.

I got married young and was happy to discover that my wife's personality matched well with mine. Noticing my fondness for pets, she always took the chance to get the most pleasant ones. We had birds, goldfish, a great dog, rabbits, a small monkey, and a cat.

This latter was a remarkably large and beautiful animal, entirely black, and sagacious to an astonishing degree. In speaking of his intelligence, my wife, who at heart was not a little tinctured with superstition, made frequent allusion to the ancient popular notion, which regarded all black cats as witches in disguise. Not that she was ever serious upon this point—and I mention the matter at all for no better reason than that it happens, just now, to be remembered.

This latter was a remarkably large and beautiful animal, completely black, and incredibly intelligent. When talking about his smarts, my wife, who secretly had a bit of superstition, often referred to the old belief that considered all black cats as witches in disguise. Not that she ever really believed it—and I bring this up simply because it’s on my mind right now.

Pluto—this was the cat’s name—was my favorite pet and playmate. I alone fed him, and he attended me wherever I went about the house. It was even with difficulty that I could prevent him from following me through the streets.

Pluto—that was the cat's name—was my favorite pet and playmate. I was the only one who fed him, and he followed me everywhere in the house. It was even hard to keep him from following me down the streets.

Our friendship lasted, in this manner, for several years, during which my general temperament and character—through the instrumentality of the Fiend Intemperance—had (I blush to confess it) experienced a radical alteration for the worse. I grew, day by day, more moody, more irritable, more regardless of the feelings of others. I suffered myself to use intemperate language to my wife. At length, I even offered her personal violence. My pets, of course, were made to feel the change in my disposition. I not only neglected, but ill-used them. For Pluto, however, I still retained sufficient regard to restrain me from maltreating him, as I made no scruple of maltreating the rabbits, the monkey, or even the dog, when by accident, or through affection, they came in my way. But my disease grew upon me—for what disease is like Alcohol!—and at length even Pluto, who was now becoming old, and consequently somewhat peevish—even Pluto began to experience the effects of my ill temper.

Our friendship lasted like this for several years, during which my overall mood and personality—thanks to the influence of the Fiend Intemperance—had (I’m ashamed to admit) undergone a significant change for the worse. I became, day by day, more moody, more irritable, and more dismissive of other people's feelings. I allowed myself to speak harshly to my wife. Eventually, I even resorted to physical violence against her. My pets, of course, felt the shift in my attitude. I not only neglected them, but also treated them poorly. For Pluto, however, I still cared enough to stop myself from hurting him, even though I had no problem abusing the rabbits, the monkey, or even the dog when they accidentally or affectionately crossed my path. But my problem only worsened—what disease compares to Alcohol!—and eventually even Pluto, who was getting old and a bit cranky, started to feel the brunt of my bad temper.

One night, returning home, much intoxicated, from one of my haunts about town, I fancied that the cat avoided my presence. I seized him; when, in his fright at my violence, he inflicted a slight wound upon my hand with his teeth. The fury of a demon instantly possessed me. I knew myself no longer. My original soul seemed, at once, to take its flight from my body and a more than fiendish malevolence, gin-nurtured, thrilled every fibre of my frame. I took from my waistcoat-pocket a pen-knife, opened it, grasped the poor beast by the throat, and deliberately cut one of its eyes from the socket! I blush, I burn, I shudder, while I pen the damnable atrocity.

One night, on my way home, really drunk, from one of my usual spots around town, I thought the cat was avoiding me. I grabbed him, and in his panic from my roughness, he bit my hand just a little. In an instant, I was consumed by rage. I didn’t recognize myself anymore. It felt like my true self flew away, replaced by a vicious, almost demonic anger fueled by the alcohol coursing through me. I pulled out a pocket knife, opened it, grabbed the poor cat by the throat, and intentionally sliced one of its eyes out of the socket! I feel ashamed, I’m embarrassed, I shudder while writing about this terrible act.

When reason returned with the morning—when I had slept off the fumes of the night’s debauch—I experienced a sentiment half of horror, half of remorse, for the crime of which I had been guilty; but it was, at best, a feeble and equivocal feeling, and the soul remained untouched. I again plunged into excess, and soon drowned in wine all memory of the deed.

When I finally had my wits about me in the morning—after sleeping off the effects of last night's indulgence—I felt a mix of horror and regret for the crime I had committed. But honestly, it was a weak and confusing feeling, and my conscience stayed unaffected. I once again indulged in excess and quickly drowned out all memories of the act with wine.

In the meantime the cat slowly recovered. The socket of the lost eye presented, it is true, a frightful appearance, but he no longer appeared to suffer any pain. He went about the house as usual, but, as might be expected, fled in extreme terror at my approach. I had so much of my old heart left, as to be at first grieved by this evident dislike on the part of a creature which had once so loved me. But this feeling soon gave place to irritation. And then came, as if to my final and irrevocable overthrow, the spirit of PERVERSENESS. Of this spirit philosophy takes no account. Yet I am not more sure that my soul lives, than I am that perverseness is one of the primitive impulses of the human heart—one of the indivisible primary faculties, or sentiments, which give direction to the character of Man. Who has not, a hundred times, found himself committing a vile or a silly action, for no other reason than because he knows he should not? Have we not a perpetual inclination, in the teeth of our best judgment, to violate that which is Law, merely because we understand it to be such? This spirit of perverseness, I say, came to my final overthrow. It was this unfathomable longing of the soul to vex itself—to offer violence to its own nature—to do wrong for the wrong’s sake only—that urged me to continue and finally to consummate the injury I had inflicted upon the unoffending brute. One morning, in cool blood, I slipped a noose about its neck and hung it to the limb of a tree;—hung it with the tears streaming from my eyes, and with the bitterest remorse at my heart;—hung it because I knew that it had loved me, and because I felt it had given me no reason of offence;—hung it because I knew that in so doing I was committing a sin—a deadly sin that would so jeopardize my immortal soul as to place it—if such a thing wore possible—even beyond the reach of the infinite mercy of the Most Merciful and Most Terrible God.

In the meantime, the cat slowly recovered. The socket of its lost eye looked horrifying, but it no longer seemed to be in pain. It moved around the house as usual, but, as you might expect, it ran away in absolute terror whenever I approached. I still had a bit of my old feelings left, so I was initially sad about this clear dislike from a creature that had once loved me so much. However, that feeling quickly turned into irritation. And then came, as if pushing me toward my final and irreversible downfall, a kind of stubbornness. Philosophy doesn't really explain this feeling. Yet I am as sure of my soul's existence as I am that this stubbornness is a fundamental impulse of the human heart—one of the basic traits or feelings that shape a person’s character. Who hasn’t, countless times, found themselves doing something stupid or wrong just because they know they shouldn’t? Don’t we always have this urge, against our better judgment, to break the rules just because we recognize them as rules? This stubbornness, I say, led to my ultimate downfall. It was this deep-seated desire of the soul to torment itself—to go against its own nature—to do something wrong simply for the thrill of wrongness—that pushed me to continue and eventually complete the harm I had done to the innocent animal. One morning, in a calm state of mind, I slipped a noose around its neck and hung it from a tree branch; I did it with tears streaming down my face and the deepest remorse in my heart; I hung it because I knew it had loved me, and because I felt it hadn’t done anything to deserve this; I hung it because I was fully aware that in doing so I was committing a sin—a deadly sin that could jeopardize my immortal soul to the point of putting it—if that were even possible—beyond the reach of the infinite mercy of the Most Merciful and Most Terrible God.

On the night of the day on which this cruel deed was done, I was aroused from sleep by the cry of fire. The curtains of my bed were in flames. The whole house was blazing. It was with great difficulty that my wife, a servant, and myself, made our escape from the conflagration. The destruction was complete. My entire worldly wealth was swallowed up, and I resigned myself thenceforward to despair.

On the night when this terrible act happened, I was jolted awake by the sound of fire. The curtains of my bed were on fire. The whole house was burning. My wife, a servant, and I managed to escape from the fire with great difficulty. Everything was destroyed. I lost all my possessions, and from that point on, I gave in to despair.

I am above the weakness of seeking to establish a sequence of cause and effect, between the disaster and the atrocity. But I am detailing a chain of facts—and wish not to leave even a possible link imperfect. On the day succeeding the fire, I visited the ruins. The walls, with one exception, had fallen in. This exception was found in a compartment wall, not very thick, which stood about the middle of the house, and against which had rested the head of my bed. The plastering had here, in great measure, resisted the action of the fire—a fact which I attributed to its having been recently spread. About this wall a dense crowd were collected, and many persons seemed to be examining a particular portion of it with very minute and eager attention. The words “strange!” “singular!” and other similar expressions, excited my curiosity. I approached and saw, as if graven in bas relief upon the white surface, the figure of a gigantic cat. The impression was given with an accuracy truly marvellous. There was a rope about the animal’s neck.

I'm beyond the weakness of trying to establish a clear link between the disaster and the horror. However, I'm laying out a series of facts—and I don't want to skip over even a possible connection. The day after the fire, I went to see the ruins. The walls, except for one, had collapsed. The exception was a thin interior wall in the middle of the house, against which the head of my bed had rested. The plaster here had mostly withstood the fire—something I attributed to it having been applied recently. A large crowd had gathered around this wall, and many people seemed to be closely examining a specific part with great interest. The words "strange!" "singular!" and similar phrases piqued my curiosity. I got closer and saw, as if etched in bas relief on the white surface, the figure of a gigantic cat. The detail was truly astonishing. There was a rope around the animal’s neck.

When I first beheld this apparition—for I could scarcely regard it as less—my wonder and my terror were extreme. But at length reflection came to my aid. The cat, I remembered, had been hung in a garden adjacent to the house. Upon the alarm of fire, this garden had been immediately filled by the crowd—by some one of whom the animal must have been cut from the tree and thrown, through an open window, into my chamber. This had probably been done with the view of arousing me from sleep. The falling of other walls had compressed the victim of my cruelty into the substance of the freshly-spread plaster; the lime of which, with the flames, and the ammonia from the carcass, had then accomplished the portraiture as I saw it.

When I first saw this ghost—because I could hardly think of it as anything less—my amazement and fear were overwhelming. But eventually, I was able to think it through. I remembered that the cat had been hanged in a garden next to the house. When the fire broke out, the crowd must have rushed into that garden—someone must have taken the animal down from the tree and thrown it through an open window into my room. This was likely done to wake me up. The collapse of other walls had pressed the victim of my cruelty into the fresh plaster; the lime, along with the flames and the ammonia from the body, had created the image I was seeing.

Although I thus readily accounted to my reason, if not altogether to my conscience, for the startling fact just detailed, it did not the less fail to make a deep impression upon my fancy. For months I could not rid myself of the phantasm of the cat; and, during this period, there came back into my spirit a half-sentiment that seemed, but was not, remorse. I went so far as to regret the loss of the animal, and to look about me, among the vile haunts which I now habitually frequented, for another pet of the same species, and of somewhat similar appearance, with which to supply its place.

Even though I could easily explain the shocking event I just described to my rational mind, it still left a strong impact on my imagination. For months, I couldn’t shake off the ghost of the cat, and during that time, I felt a strange emotion that seemed like remorse, but really wasn’t. I even found myself mourning the loss of the animal and searching in the seedy places I now hung out for another pet that looked somewhat similar to replace it.

One night as I sat, half stupefied, in a den of more than infamy, my attention was suddenly drawn to some black object, reposing upon the head of one of the immense hogsheads of gin, or of rum, which constituted the chief furniture of the apartment. I had been looking steadily at the top of this hogshead for some minutes, and what now caused me surprise was the fact that I had not sooner perceived the object thereupon. I approached it, and touched it with my hand. It was a black cat—a very large one—fully as large as Pluto, and closely resembling him in every respect but one. Pluto had not a white hair upon any portion of his body; but this cat had a large, although indefinite splotch of white, covering nearly the whole region of the breast. Upon my touching him, he immediately arose, purred loudly, rubbed against my hand, and appeared delighted with my notice. This, then, was the very creature of which I was in search. I at once offered to purchase it of the landlord; but this person made no claim to it—knew nothing of it—had never seen it before.

One night, as I sat there, half dazed, in a place notorious for its bad reputation, my attention was suddenly caught by a black object resting on top of one of the huge barrels of gin or rum that made up the main furnishings of the room. I had been staring at the top of that barrel for a few minutes, and what surprised me was that I hadn’t noticed the object there sooner. I moved closer and touched it with my hand. It was a black cat—a very large one—just as big as Pluto, looking almost identical to him except for one thing. Pluto didn’t have a single white hair on him, but this cat had a big, though vague, white spot covering almost its entire chest. When I touched it, the cat immediately stood up, purred loudly, rubbed against my hand, and seemed thrilled by my attention. This was exactly the creature I had been looking for. I immediately offered to buy it from the landlord, but this person claimed no ownership of it—knew nothing about it—had never seen it before.

I continued my caresses, and, when I prepared to go home, the animal evinced a disposition to accompany me. I permitted it to do so; occasionally stooping and patting it as I proceeded. When it reached the house it domesticated itself at once, and became immediately a great favorite with my wife.

I kept petting it, and when I was about to head home, the animal showed that it wanted to come with me. I let it follow along, occasionally bending down to stroke it as I walked. Once we got to the house, it settled in right away and quickly became a favorite of my wife's.

For my own part, I soon found a dislike to it arising within me. This was just the reverse of what I had anticipated; but—I know not how or why it was—its evident fondness for myself rather disgusted and annoyed. By slow degrees, these feelings of disgust and annoyance rose into the bitterness of hatred. I avoided the creature; a certain sense of shame, and the remembrance of my former deed of cruelty, preventing me from physically abusing it. I did not, for some weeks, strike, or otherwise violently ill use it; but gradually—very gradually—I came to look upon it with unutterable loathing, and to flee silently from its odious presence, as from the breath of a pestilence.

For my part, I quickly started to dislike it. This was the complete opposite of what I had expected, but—I don’t know how or why—I found its clear affection for me rather off-putting and irritating. Slowly, these feelings of disgust and annoyance grew into a deep bitterness and hatred. I started to avoid the creature; a sense of shame and the memory of my earlier act of cruelty stopped me from physically hurting it. For several weeks, I didn’t hit it or treat it violently, but over time—very gradually—I began to see it with a deep loathing and to silently escape from its disgusting presence, as if avoiding the breath of a plague.

What added, no doubt, to my hatred of the beast, was the discovery, on the morning after I brought it home, that, like Pluto, it also had been deprived of one of its eyes. This circumstance, however, only endeared it to my wife, who, as I have already said, possessed, in a high degree, that humanity of feeling which had once been my distinguishing trait, and the source of many of my simplest and purest pleasures.

What definitely added to my hatred of the creature was finding out, the morning after I brought it home, that, like Pluto, it too had lost one of its eyes. This fact, however, only made it more beloved in the eyes of my wife, who, as I mentioned before, had a strong sense of compassion that had once been my defining characteristic and the source of many of my simplest and purest joys.

With my aversion to this cat, however, its partiality for myself seemed to increase. It followed my footsteps with a pertinacity which it would be difficult to make the reader comprehend. Whenever I sat, it would crouch beneath my chair, or spring upon my knees, covering me with its loathsome caresses. If I arose to walk it would get between my feet and thus nearly throw me down, or, fastening its long and sharp claws in my dress, clamber, in this manner, to my breast. At such times, although I longed to destroy it with a blow, I was yet withheld from so doing, partly by a memory of my former crime, but chiefly—let me confess it at once—by absolute dread of the beast.

With my dislike for this cat, its affection for me seemed to grow stronger. It followed me around with a persistence that would be hard to explain. Whenever I sat down, it would crouch under my chair or jump onto my lap, smothering me with its disgusting attention. If I got up to walk, it would weave between my feet, nearly tripping me, or dig its long, sharp claws into my clothes, climbing up to my chest like that. In those moments, even though I wanted to smack it away, I held back, partly because of the memory of my past wrongdoing, but mainly—let me just admit it—because I was genuinely scared of the creature.

This dread was not exactly a dread of physical evil—and yet I should be at a loss how otherwise to define it. I am almost ashamed to own—yes, even in this felon’s cell, I am almost ashamed to own—that the terror and horror with which the animal inspired me, had been heightened by one of the merest chimaeras it would be possible to conceive. My wife had called my attention, more than once, to the character of the mark of white hair, of which I have spoken, and which constituted the sole visible difference between the strange beast and the one I had destroyed. The reader will remember that this mark, although large, had been originally very indefinite; but, by slow degrees—degrees nearly imperceptible, and which for a long time my reason struggled to reject as fanciful—it had, at length, assumed a rigorous distinctness of outline. It was now the representation of an object that I shudder to name—and for this, above all, I loathed, and dreaded, and would have rid myself of the monster had I dared—it was now, I say, the image of a hideous—of a ghastly thing—of the GALLOWS!—oh, mournful and terrible engine of Horror and of Crime—of Agony and of Death!

This fear wasn’t a fear of physical harm exactly—but I can’t think of any other way to describe it. I’m almost embarrassed to admit—even in this criminal’s cell, I’m almost embarrassed to admit—that the terror and horror this animal instilled in me was made worse by one of the most trivial fantasies you could imagine. My wife had pointed out, more than once, the distinctive mark of white hair I mentioned, which was the only visible difference between the strange creature and the one I had killed. You’ll recall that this mark, though large, had initially been quite vague; but gradually—almost imperceptibly, and for a long time, my mind fought to dismiss it as a mere illusion—it had finally taken on a stark clarity. It was now the image of something I dread to name—and for this reason, above all, I hated, feared, and would have gotten rid of the monster if I had dared—it was now, I say, the image of a hideous—of a ghastly thing—the GALLOWS!—oh, mournful and terrible device of Horror and of Crime—of Agony and of Death!

And now was I indeed wretched beyond the wretchedness of mere Humanity. And a brute beast —whose fellow I had contemptuously destroyed—a brute beast to work out for me—for me a man, fashioned in the image of the High God—so much of insufferable woe! Alas! neither by day nor by night knew I the blessing of rest any more! During the former the creature left me no moment alone, and in the latter I started hourly from dreams of unutterable fear to find the hot breath of the thing upon my face, and its vast weight—an incarnate nightmare that I had no power to shake off—incumbent eternally upon my heart!

And now I was truly miserable, beyond what any human could feel. And a dumb animal—whose life I had contemptuously taken—a dumb animal to bring upon me—for me, a man made in the image of the Almighty—so much unbearable suffering! Sadly, I found no comfort in sleep day or night! During the day, the creature never left me alone, and at night I would wake up in terror from dreams I couldn't describe, only to feel the hot breath of the thing on my face, and its enormous weight—a living nightmare that I couldn’t escape—pressed eternally on my heart!

Beneath the pressure of torments such as these, the feeble remnant of the good within me succumbed. Evil thoughts became my sole intimates—the darkest and most evil of thoughts. The moodiness of my usual temper increased to hatred of all things and of all mankind; while, from the sudden, frequent, and ungovernable outbursts of a fury to which I now blindly abandoned myself, my uncomplaining wife, alas, was the most usual and the most patient of sufferers.

Beneath the weight of torments like these, the little good left in me gave in. Evil thoughts became my only companions—the darkest and most wicked thoughts. My usual moodiness turned into a hatred for everything and everyone; while, during my sudden, frequent, and uncontrollable fits of rage that I now surrendered to, my patient wife, unfortunately, became the most common and enduring victim.

One day she accompanied me, upon some household errand, into the cellar of the old building which our poverty compelled us to inhabit. The cat followed me down the steep stairs, and, nearly throwing me headlong, exasperated me to madness. Uplifting an axe, and forgetting, in my wrath, the childish dread which had hitherto stayed my hand, I aimed a blow at the animal which, of course, would have proved instantly fatal had it descended as I wished. But this blow was arrested by the hand of my wife. Goaded, by the interference, into a rage more than demoniacal, I withdrew my arm from her grasp and buried the axe in her brain. She fell dead upon the spot, without a groan.

One day, she came with me on a household errand to the cellar of the old building we had to live in due to our poverty. The cat followed me down the steep stairs and nearly knocked me over, driving me to the brink of madness. I picked up an axe and, forgetting the childish fear that had held me back before, swung it at the animal, which would have certainly killed it if it had landed as I intended. But my wife stopped my hand. Provoked by her interference into a rage beyond reason, I pulled my arm away from her grip and brought the axe down on her head. She fell dead on the spot without making a sound.

This hideous murder accomplished, I set myself forthwith, and with entire deliberation, to the task of concealing the body. I knew that I could not remove it from the house, either by day or by night, without the risk of being observed by the neighbors. Many projects entered my mind. At one period I thought of cutting the corpse into minute fragments, and destroying them by fire. At another, I resolved to dig a grave for it in the floor of the cellar. Again, I deliberated about casting it in the well in the yard—about packing it in a box, as if merchandise, with the usual arrangements, and so getting a porter to take it from the house. Finally I hit upon what I considered a far better expedient than either of these. I determined to wall it up in the cellar—as the monks of the middle ages are recorded to have walled up their victims.

After committing this terrible murder, I immediately and carefully set out to hide the body. I knew I couldn't remove it from the house, either during the day or at night, without risking being seen by the neighbors. A lot of ideas crossed my mind. At one point, I thought about cutting the corpse into tiny pieces and burning them. Then, I considered digging a grave for it in the cellar floor. I also thought about throwing it in the well in the yard or packing it in a box, like it was merchandise, and having a porter carry it out of the house. In the end, I came up with what I thought was a much better plan. I decided to wall it up in the cellar, just like the monks from the Middle Ages were said to have done with their victims.

For a purpose such as this the cellar was well adapted. Its walls were loosely constructed, and had lately been plastered throughout with a rough plaster, which the dampness of the atmosphere had prevented from hardening. Moreover, in one of the walls was a projection, caused by a false chimney, or fireplace, that had been filled up, and made to resemble the red of the cellar. I made no doubt that I could readily displace the bricks at this point, insert the corpse, and wall the whole up as before, so that no eye could detect any thing suspicious. And in this calculation I was not deceived. By means of a crow-bar I easily dislodged the bricks, and, having carefully deposited the body against the inner wall, I propped it in that position, while, with little trouble, I re-laid the whole structure as it originally stood. Having procured mortar, sand, and hair, with every possible precaution, I prepared a plaster which could not be distinguished from the old, and with this I very carefully went over the new brickwork. When I had finished, I felt satisfied that all was right. The wall did not present the slightest appearance of having been disturbed. The rubbish on the floor was picked up with the minutest care. I looked around triumphantly, and said to myself: “Here at least, then, my labor has not been in vain.”

For a task like this, the cellar was perfect. Its walls were loosely built and had recently been coated with a rough plaster that the damp air had kept from hardening. Additionally, one of the walls had a bump from a fake chimney or fireplace that had been filled in to match the reddish color of the cellar. I was confident I could easily remove the bricks at this spot, place the body inside, and seal it up again so that no one could notice anything unusual. And I wasn't mistaken in my plan. Using a crowbar, I easily removed the bricks, and after carefully positioning the body against the inner wall, I held it in place while I reassembled the brickwork as it was originally. I gathered mortar, sand, and hair, taking every precaution to make a plaster that looked just like the old one, and meticulously covered the new brickwork with it. Once I was done, I felt sure that everything was fine. The wall showed no sign of being disturbed. I picked up the debris on the floor with the utmost care. I looked around proudly and said to myself, “At least my effort hasn’t been in vain here.”

My next step was to look for the beast which had been the cause of so much wretchedness; for I had, at length, firmly resolved to put it to death. Had I been able to meet with it, at the moment, there could have been no doubt of its fate; but it appeared that the crafty animal had been alarmed at the violence of my previous anger, and forebore to present itself in my present mood. It is impossible to describe, or to imagine, the deep, the blissful sense of relief which the absence of the detested creature occasioned in my bosom. It did not make its appearance during the night; and thus for one night at least, since its introduction into the house, I soundly and tranquilly slept; aye, slept even with the burden of murder upon my soul!

My next step was to search for the beast that had caused so much suffering; I had finally made up my mind to kill it. If I had found it right then, there would have been no doubt about what would happen to it. But it seemed that the clever animal had sensed my previous anger and chose not to show itself in my current mood. It's impossible to describe or even imagine the deep, blissful relief I felt at the absence of that loathed creature. It didn’t show up during the night, and for at least one night since it came into the house, I slept soundly and peacefully; yes, I slept even with the weight of murder on my conscience!

The second and the third day passed, and still my tormentor came not. Once again I breathed as a freeman. The monster, in terror, had fled the premises forever! I should behold it no more! My happiness was supreme! The guilt of my dark deed disturbed me but little. Some few inquiries had been made, but these had been readily answered. Even a search had been instituted—but of course nothing was to be discovered. I looked upon my future felicity as secured.

The second and third days went by, and my tormentor still hadn't shown up. Once again, I felt like a free person. The monster, in fear, had left the place for good! I wouldn't see it again! My happiness was overwhelming! The guilt from my dark action bothered me very little. There had been a few questions asked, but I answered them easily. Even a search had been conducted—but obviously, nothing was found. I saw my future happiness as guaranteed.

Upon the fourth day of the assassination, a party of the police came, very unexpectedly, into the house, and proceeded again to make rigorous investigation of the premises. Secure, however, in the inscrutability of my place of concealment, I felt no embarrassment whatever. The officers bade me accompany them in their search. They left no nook or corner unexplored. At length, for the third or fourth time, they descended into the cellar. I quivered not in a muscle. My heart beat calmly as that of one who slumbers in innocence. I walked the cellar from end to end. I folded my arms upon my bosom, and roamed easily to and fro. The police were thoroughly satisfied and prepared to depart. The glee at my heart was too strong to be restrained. I burned to say if but one word, by way of triumph, and to render doubly sure their assurance of my guiltlessness.

On the fourth day after the assassination, a group of police unexpectedly entered the house and started another thorough search of the place. However, feeling secure in my hidden spot, I was completely at ease. The officers asked me to join them in their search. They left no nook or cranny unchecked. Finally, for the third or fourth time, they went down to the cellar. I didn’t flinch at all. My heart beat calmly, like someone who is peacefully asleep. I walked through the cellar from one end to the other. I crossed my arms over my chest and casually roamed back and forth. The police were completely satisfied and ready to leave. The joy in my heart was too strong to contain. I longed to say just one word, out of triumph, to further assure them of my innocence.

“Gentlemen,” I said at last, as the party ascended the steps, “I delight to have allayed your suspicions. I wish you all health, and a little more courtesy. By the bye, gentlemen, this—this is a very well-constructed house.” (In the rabid desire to say something easily, I scarcely knew what I uttered at all.)—“I may say an excellently well-constructed house. These walls—are you going, gentlemen?—these walls are solidly put together;” and here, through the mere phrenzy of bravado, I rapped heavily, with a cane which I held in my hand, upon that very portion of the brick-work behind which stood the corpse of the wife of my bosom.

“Gentlemen,” I finally said as the group climbed the steps, “I’m glad to have eased your concerns. I wish you all good health and a bit more courtesy. By the way, gentlemen, this—this is a very well-built house.” (In my frantic need to say something easily, I barely knew what I was saying at all.)—“I could say an excellently built house. These walls—are you leaving, gentlemen?—these walls are solidly constructed;” and here, driven by a reckless boldness, I knocked loudly with the cane I was holding on that very part of the brickwork behind which lay the body of my beloved wife.

But may God shield and deliver me from the fangs of the Arch-Fiend! No sooner had the reverberation of my blows sunk into silence, than I was answered by a voice from within the tomb!—by a cry, at first muffled and broken, like the sobbing of a child, and then quickly swelling into one long, loud, and continuous scream, utterly anomalous and inhuman—a howl—a wailing shriek, half of horror and half of triumph, such as might have arisen only out of hell, conjointly from the throats of the damned in their agony and of the demons that exult in the damnation.

But may God protect me from the claws of the Arch-Fiend! No sooner had the sound of my blows faded away than I heard a voice from inside the tomb!—a cry that started off muffled and broken, like the sobbing of a child, and quickly grew into a long, loud, and continuous scream, completely strange and inhuman—a howl—a wailing shriek, part horror and part triumph, like something that could only have come from hell, rising together from the throats of the damned in their suffering and the demons that revel in their damnation.

Of my own thoughts it is folly to speak. Swooning, I staggered to the opposite wall. For one instant the party upon the stairs remained motionless, through extremity of terror and of awe. In the next, a dozen stout arms were toiling at the wall. It fell bodily. The corpse, already greatly decayed and clotted with gore, stood erect before the eyes of the spectators. Upon its head, with red extended mouth and solitary eye of fire, sat the hideous beast whose craft had seduced me into murder, and whose informing voice had consigned me to the hangman. I had walled the monster up within the tomb!

It's pointless to talk about my own thoughts. Dazed, I stumbled to the opposite wall. For a moment, the crowd on the stairs froze in pure terror and awe. Then, a dozen strong arms worked at the wall. It collapsed completely. The corpse, already heavily decomposed and covered in blood, stood upright in front of the onlookers. On its head, with a gaping red mouth and a single fiery eye, was the grotesque creature that had lured me into murder and whose haunting voice had sentenced me to the gallows. I had bricked the monster up in the tomb!

THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER

Son cœur est un luth suspendu;
Sitôt qu’on le touche il résonne..

Son cœur est un luth suspendu;
Sitôt qu’on le touche il résonne..

De Béranger.

De Béranger.

During the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens, I had been passing alone, on horseback, through a singularly dreary tract of country; and at length found myself, as the shades of the evening drew on, within view of the melancholy House of Usher. I know not how it was—but, with the first glimpse of the building, a sense of insufferable gloom pervaded my spirit. I say insufferable; for the feeling was unrelieved by any of that half-pleasurable, because poetic, sentiment, with which the mind usually receives even the sternest natural images of the desolate or terrible. I looked upon the scene before me—upon the mere house, and the simple landscape features of the domain—upon the bleak walls—upon the vacant eye-like windows—upon a few rank sedges—and upon a few white trunks of decayed trees—with an utter depression of soul which I can compare to no earthly sensation more properly than to the after-dream of the reveller upon opium—the bitter lapse into everyday life—the hideous dropping off of the veil. There was an iciness, a sinking, a sickening of the heart—an unredeemed dreariness of thought which no goading of the imagination could torture into aught of the sublime. What was it—I paused to think—what was it that so unnerved me in the contemplation of the House of Usher? It was a mystery all insoluble; nor could I grapple with the shadowy fancies that crowded upon me as I pondered. I was forced to fall back upon the unsatisfactory conclusion, that while, beyond doubt, there are combinations of very simple natural objects which have the power of thus affecting us, still the analysis of this power lies among considerations beyond our depth. It was possible, I reflected, that a mere different arrangement of the particulars of the scene, of the details of the picture, would be sufficient to modify, or perhaps to annihilate its capacity for sorrowful impression; and, acting upon this idea, I reined my horse to the precipitous brink of a black and lurid tarn that lay in unruffled lustre by the dwelling, and gazed down—but with a shudder even more thrilling than before—upon the remodelled and inverted images of the gray sedge, and the ghastly tree-stems, and the vacant and eye-like windows.

On a dull, dark, and soundless autumn day, with clouds hanging oppressively low in the sky, I had been riding alone through an unusually bleak area. As evening fell, I found myself in sight of the gloomy House of Usher. I can’t explain why, but just seeing the building filled me with an unbearable sense of gloom. I use the word unbearable because this feeling was not lightened by any of that bittersweet, poetic sentiment that typically accompanies the most serious natural scenes of desolation or horror. I looked at the scene before me—the house itself, the simple landscape surrounding it—the stark walls—the vacant, eye-like windows—a few overgrown weeds—and the few white trunks of decayed trees—and felt a deep sorrow that I can only compare to the after-effects of a reveler on opium—the bitter return to reality—the disturbing lifting of the veil. There was a chilliness, a sinking, a nauseating feeling in my heart—a relentless dreariness of thought that no amount of imagination could elevate into something sublime. I paused to think—what was it about the House of Usher that so unsettled me? It was an unsolvable mystery; I couldn't confront the shadowy thoughts that came to me as I contemplated it. I was left with the unsatisfactory conclusion that there are indeed combinations of very simple natural objects that can affect us this way, but understanding this power requires considerations beyond our comprehension. I reflected that a mere change in the arrangement of the elements of the scene, the details of the picture, could be enough to change or even erase its ability to evoke sorrow; acting on this idea, I guided my horse to the steep edge of a dark, eerie tarn that lay still and shiny beside the house, and looked down—feeling a shudder even more intense than before—at the distorted and mirrored images of the gray reeds, the ghastly tree trunks, and the vacant, eye-like windows.

Nevertheless, in this mansion of gloom I now proposed to myself a sojourn of some weeks. Its proprietor, Roderick Usher, had been one of my boon companions in boyhood; but many years had elapsed since our last meeting. A letter, however, had lately reached me in a distant part of the country—a letter from him—which, in its wildly importunate nature, had admitted of no other than a personal reply. The MS. gave evidence of nervous agitation. The writer spoke of acute bodily illness—of a mental disorder which oppressed him—and of an earnest desire to see me, as his best, and indeed his only personal friend, with a view of attempting, by the cheerfulness of my society, some alleviation of his malady. It was the manner in which all this, and much more, was said—it was the apparent heart that went with his request—which allowed me no room for hesitation; and I accordingly obeyed forthwith what I still considered a very singular summons.

Nevertheless, in this gloomy mansion, I now planned to stay for a few weeks. Its owner, Roderick Usher, had been one of my close friends in childhood; however, many years had passed since we last met. Recently, I received a letter from him while I was in a distant part of the country—his letter was so urgent that it required a personal response. The handwriting showed signs of nervous distress. The writer mentioned suffering from a serious physical illness and a mental condition that troubled him, as well as a strong desire to see me, as his closest and really his only personal friend, hoping that my cheerful presence could help ease his suffering. It was the way he expressed all of this, and much more, that showed his true feelings, leaving me no room for doubt; so I immediately complied with what I still considered a rather unusual request.

Although, as boys, we had been even intimate associates, yet I really knew little of my friend. His reserve had been always excessive and habitual. I was aware, however, that his very ancient family had been noted, time out of mind, for a peculiar sensibility of temperament, displaying itself, through long ages, in many works of exalted art, and manifested, of late, in repeated deeds of munificent yet unobtrusive charity, as well as in a passionate devotion to the intricacies, perhaps even more than to the orthodox and easily recognisable beauties, of musical science. I had learned, too, the very remarkable fact, that the stem of the Usher race, all time-honored as it was, had put forth, at no period, any enduring branch; in other words, that the entire family lay in the direct line of descent, and had always, with very trifling and very temporary variation, so lain. It was this deficiency, I considered, while running over in thought the perfect keeping of the character of the premises with the accredited character of the people, and while speculating upon the possible influence which the one, in the long lapse of centuries, might have exercised upon the other—it was this deficiency, perhaps, of collateral issue, and the consequent undeviating transmission, from sire to son, of the patrimony with the name, which had, at length, so identified the two as to merge the original title of the estate in the quaint and equivocal appellation of the “House of Usher”—an appellation which seemed to include, in the minds of the peasantry who used it, both the family and the family mansion.

Even though we had been close friends as kids, I really didn’t know much about my friend. He had always been pretty reserved. However, I did know that his very old family had long been recognized for their unique sensitivity, which showed up over the years in many high-quality artworks, and more recently, in their generous but low-key charity work, along with a passionate love for the complexities of music—perhaps even more than for its traditional and easily appreciated beauties. I had also learned that the Usher family, despite its long-standing history, had never produced a lasting branch; in other words, the entire family line had remained direct, with only minor and temporary changes over time. I thought about this fact while reflecting on how well the state of the property matched the established character of the family, and while wondering how much one might have influenced the other over centuries. It was this lack of a collateral line, and the resulting straightforward transfer of the family inheritance along with the name, that had ultimately so closely linked the two that it caused the original title of the estate to blend into the unusual and ambiguous name of the “House of Usher”—a name that seemed to encompass both the family and their home in the minds of the locals who used it.

I have said that the sole effect of my somewhat childish experiment—that of looking down within the tarn—had been to deepen the first singular impression. There can be no doubt that the consciousness of the rapid increase of my superstition—for why should I not so term it?—served mainly to accelerate the increase itself. Such, I have long known, is the paradoxical law of all sentiments having terror as a basis. And it might have been for this reason only, that, when I again uplifted my eyes to the house itself, from its image in the pool, there grew in my mind a strange fancy—a fancy so ridiculous, indeed, that I but mention it to show the vivid force of the sensations which oppressed me. I had so worked upon my imagination as really to believe that about the whole mansion and domain there hung an atmosphere peculiar to themselves and their immediate vicinity—an atmosphere which had no affinity with the air of heaven, but which had reeked up from the decayed trees, and the gray wall, and the silent tarn—a pestilent and mystic vapor, dull, sluggish, faintly discernible, and leaden-hued.

I’ve mentioned that the only result of my somewhat childish experiment—looking down into the tarn—was to intensify the initial strange feeling. There's no doubt that the growing awareness of my superstition—why not call it that?—primarily fueled its own growth. I’ve long understood that this is the strange law governing all feelings rooted in fear. It might have been only for this reason that when I lifted my gaze again to the house from its reflection in the pool, a bizarre thought took shape in my mind—a thought so absurd that I bring it up just to highlight the overwhelming sensations that gripped me. I had convinced myself to the point of truly believing that an atmosphere unique to the mansion and its surroundings hung over them—an atmosphere that had no connection to the fresh air, but instead draped itself from the decaying trees, the gray wall, and the silent tarn—a noxious and mysterious vapor, heavy, sluggish, faintly visible, and leaden-colored.

Shaking off from my spirit what must have been a dream, I scanned more narrowly the real aspect of the building. Its principal feature seemed to be that of an excessive antiquity. The discoloration of ages had been great. Minute fungi overspread the whole exterior, hanging in a fine tangled web-work from the eaves. Yet all this was apart from any extraordinary dilapidation. No portion of the masonry had fallen; and there appeared to be a wild inconsistency between its still perfect adaptation of parts, and the crumbling condition of the individual stones. In this there was much that reminded me of the specious totality of old wood-work which has rotted for long years in some neglected vault, with no disturbance from the breath of the external air. Beyond this indication of extensive decay, however, the fabric gave little token of instability. Perhaps the eye of a scrutinizing observer might have discovered a barely perceptible fissure, which, extending from the roof of the building in front, made its way down the wall in a zigzag direction, until it became lost in the sullen waters of the tarn.

Shaking off what must have been a dream, I took a closer look at the actual state of the building. Its main feature seemed to be its extreme age. The discoloration from years gone by was significant. Small fungi covered the entire exterior, hanging in a delicate, tangled web from the eaves. Yet, all this didn’t indicate any extraordinary neglect. No part of the masonry had crumbled away, and there seemed to be a strange contrast between its still-perfect structure and the decayed condition of the individual stones. This reminded me of the deceptive appearance of old woodwork that has rotted for many years in some forgotten vault, untouched by the outside air. Despite this sign of significant decay, the building itself showed little sign of instability. Perhaps a careful observer might have noticed a barely visible crack that started from the roof in front and zigzagged down the wall until it disappeared into the dark water of the tarn.

Noticing these things, I rode over a short causeway to the house. A servant in waiting took my horse, and I entered the Gothic archway of the hall. A valet, of stealthy step, thence conducted me, in silence, through many dark and intricate passages in my progress to the studio of his master. Much that I encountered on the way contributed, I know not how, to heighten the vague sentiments of which I have already spoken. While the objects around me—while the carvings of the ceilings, the sombre tapestries of the walls, the ebon blackness of the floors, and the phantasmagoric armorial trophies which rattled as I strode, were but matters to which, or to such as which, I had been accustomed from my infancy—while I hesitated not to acknowledge how familiar was all this—I still wondered to find how unfamiliar were the fancies which ordinary images were stirring up. On one of the staircases, I met the physician of the family. His countenance, I thought, wore a mingled expression of low cunning and perplexity. He accosted me with trepidation and passed on. The valet now threw open a door and ushered me into the presence of his master.

Noticing these things, I rode over a short causeway to the house. A servant waiting took my horse, and I entered the Gothic archway of the hall. A valet, moving quietly, then guided me in silence through many dark and winding passages on my way to his master’s studio. Much of what I saw along the way somehow intensified the vague feelings I’ve mentioned before. While the surroundings—the carvings on the ceilings, the dark tapestries on the walls, the ebony black floors, and the ghostly heraldic trophies that rattled as I walked—were familiar to me from childhood, I was taken aback by how strange the thoughts that these ordinary images were bringing up felt. On one of the staircases, I ran into the family physician. His face, I thought, showed a mix of slyness and confusion. He spoke to me nervously and moved on. The valet then opened a door and led me into the presence of his master.

The room in which I found myself was very large and lofty. The windows were long, narrow, and pointed, and at so vast a distance from the black oaken floor as to be altogether inaccessible from within. Feeble gleams of encrimsoned light made their way through the trellissed panes, and served to render sufficiently distinct the more prominent objects around; the eye, however, struggled in vain to reach the remoter angles of the chamber, or the recesses of the vaulted and fretted ceiling. Dark draperies hung upon the walls. The general furniture was profuse, comfortless, antique, and tattered. Many books and musical instruments lay scattered about, but failed to give any vitality to the scene. I felt that I breathed an atmosphere of sorrow. An air of stern, deep, and irredeemable gloom hung over and pervaded all.

The room I found myself in was very large and tall. The windows were long, narrow, and pointed, positioned so high above the dark oak floor that they were completely out of reach from inside. Weak flickers of reddish light filtered through the trellised panes, enough to make the more noticeable objects around me clear; however, my eyes struggled to see the farther corners of the room or the recesses of the vaulted, intricately designed ceiling. Dark curtains hung on the walls. The overall furniture was abundant, uncomfortable, old, and worn. Many books and musical instruments were scattered around, but they didn’t bring any life to the scene. I could sense an atmosphere of sorrow. A feeling of stern, deep, and irreversible gloom hung over everything.

Upon my entrance, Usher arose from a sofa on which he had been lying at full length, and greeted me with a vivacious warmth which had much in it, I at first thought, of an overdone cordiality—of the constrained effort of the ennuyé man of the world. A glance, however, at his countenance, convinced me of his perfect sincerity. We sat down; and for some moments, while he spoke not, I gazed upon him with a feeling half of pity, half of awe. Surely, man had never before so terribly altered, in so brief a period, as had Roderick Usher! It was with difficulty that I could bring myself to admit the identity of the wan being before me with the companion of my early boyhood. Yet the character of his face had been at all times remarkable. A cadaverousness of complexion; an eye large, liquid, and luminous beyond comparison; lips somewhat thin and very pallid, but of a surpassingly beautiful curve; a nose of a delicate Hebrew model, but with a breadth of nostril unusual in similar formations; a finely moulded chin, speaking, in its want of prominence, of a want of moral energy; hair of a more than web-like softness and tenuity; these features, with an inordinate expansion above the regions of the temple, made up altogether a countenance not easily to be forgotten. And now in the mere exaggeration of the prevailing character of these features, and of the expression they were wont to convey, lay so much of change that I doubted to whom I spoke. The now ghastly pallor of the skin, and the now miraculous lustre of the eye, above all things startled and even awed me. The silken hair, too, had been suffered to grow all unheeded, and as, in its wild gossamer texture, it floated rather than fell about the face, I could not, even with effort, connect its Arabesque expression with any idea of simple humanity.

When I entered, Usher got up from a sofa where he had been lying down and greeted me with an enthusiastic warmth that I initially thought was overly friendly—like the forced cordiality of a bored person. However, a look at his face convinced me of his genuine sincerity. We sat down, and for a few moments, while he was silent, I looked at him with a mix of pity and awe. Surely, no one had changed as dramatically in such a short time as Roderick Usher! I could hardly accept that the pale figure before me was the same person I had known as a child. Yet, even then, his features had always been striking. He had a sickly complexion, a large, bright, and captivating eye; thin, very pale lips with an exceptionally beautiful curve; a delicate nose similar to a Hebrew's, but with nostrils wider than usual; a finely shaped chin that lacked prominence, suggesting a lack of moral strength; and hair that was more delicate and fine than anything I'd seen. These features, along with a conspicuous widening around the temples, created a face that was hard to forget. And now, just in the exaggerated qualities of these features and the expression they used to convey, there was so much change that I questioned who I was speaking to. The now ghostly pallor of his skin and the astonishing brightness of his eye shocked and even intimidated me. His silky hair had also been allowed to grow unchecked, and with its wild, delicate texture floating around his face, I struggled to reconcile its artistic appearance with any sense of ordinary humanity.

In the manner of my friend I was at once struck with an incoherence—an inconsistency; and I soon found this to arise from a series of feeble and futile struggles to overcome an habitual trepidancy—an excessive nervous agitation. For something of this nature I had indeed been prepared, no less by his letter, than by reminiscences of certain boyish traits, and by conclusions deduced from his peculiar physical conformation and temperament. His action was alternately vivacious and sullen. His voice varied rapidly from a tremulous indecision (when the animal spirits seemed utterly in abeyance) to that species of energetic concision—that abrupt, weighty, unhurried, and hollow-sounding enunciation—that leaden, self-balanced and perfectly modulated guttural utterance, which may be observed in the lost drunkard, or the irreclaimable eater of opium, during the periods of his most intense excitement.

In the manner of my friend, I was immediately struck by a lack of coherence—a contradiction; and I soon realized this came from a series of weak and pointless attempts to overcome a constant nervousness—an excessive agitation. I had actually been prepared for something like this, both from his letter and from memories of certain childish traits, as well as from conclusions drawn from his unique physical build and temperament. His behavior switched between lively and withdrawn. His voice rapidly changed from a shaky uncertainty (when his spirits seemed completely gone) to a kind of sharp clarity—that abrupt, heavy, unhurried, and hollow-sounding delivery—that flat, self-controlled, and perfectly balanced guttural sound, which can be seen in a lost drunkard or a hopeless opium addict during their most intense moments.

It was thus that he spoke of the object of my visit, of his earnest desire to see me, and of the solace he expected me to afford him. He entered, at some length, into what he conceived to be the nature of his malady. It was, he said, a constitutional and a family evil, and one for which he despaired to find a remedy—a mere nervous affection, he immediately added, which would undoubtedly soon pass off. It displayed itself in a host of unnatural sensations. Some of these, as he detailed them, interested and bewildered me; although, perhaps, the terms, and the general manner of the narration had their weight. He suffered much from a morbid acuteness of the senses; the most insipid food was alone endurable; he could wear only garments of certain texture; the odors of all flowers were oppressive; his eyes were tortured by even a faint light; and there were but peculiar sounds, and these from stringed instruments, which did not inspire him with horror.

He talked about why I had come to see him, his strong wish to meet with me, and the comfort he hoped I would bring him. He went into detail about what he believed was the nature of his illness. He said it was a hereditary and family issue, one he felt hopeless of solving—a simple nervous condition, which he quickly added would probably fade away soon. It showed itself through a series of strange sensations. Some of these details intrigued and confused me; although, to be fair, the way he described them and the language he used carried some weight. He experienced a heightened sensitivity to his senses; only the blandest food was tolerable to him; he could only wear certain types of fabric; all flower scents overwhelmed him; even a dim light caused him pain; and there were only specific sounds, particularly from string instruments, that didn't terrify him.

To an anomalous species of terror I found him a bounden slave. “I shall perish,” said he, “I must perish in this deplorable folly. Thus, thus, and not otherwise, shall I be lost. I dread the events of the future, not in themselves, but in their results. I shudder at the thought of any, even the most trivial, incident, which may operate upon this intolerable agitation of soul. I have, indeed, no abhorrence of danger, except in its absolute effect—in terror. In this unnerved—in this pitiable condition—I feel that the period will sooner or later arrive when I must abandon life and reason together, in some struggle with the grim phantasm, FEAR.”

To a strange kind of terror, I found him utterly trapped. “I’m going to die,” he said, “I have to die because of this terrible foolishness. This is how I’ll be lost, and nothing can change that. I’m afraid of what’s coming, not because of the events themselves, but because of their consequences. I shudder at the thought of any little thing that might trigger this unbearable anxiety. I really don’t mind danger, except for its ultimate effect—terror. In this weakened, this pitiful state—I know that sooner or later, I’ll have to give up both life and reason in a fight with that grim specter, FEAR.”

I learned, moreover, at intervals, and through broken and equivocal hints, another singular feature of his mental condition. He was enchained by certain superstitious impressions in regard to the dwelling which he tenanted, and whence, for many years, he had never ventured forth—in regard to an influence whose supposititious force was conveyed in terms too shadowy here to be re-stated—an influence which some peculiarities in the mere form and substance of his family mansion, had, by dint of long sufferance, he said, obtained over his spirit—an effect which the physique of the gray walls and turrets, and of the dim tarn into which they all looked down, had, at length, brought about upon the morale of his existence.

I also learned, in bits and pieces and through vague hints, about another unique aspect of his mental state. He was bound by certain superstitious beliefs about the house he lived in, from which he had not left for many years—there was an influence whose supposed power was too murky to explain here—an influence that some odd features in the very structure and design of his family home, had, over time, he claimed, taken hold of his mind—a result that the physical appearance of the gray walls and towers, and the shadowy lake they all overlooked, had ultimately created in his life.

He admitted, however, although with hesitation, that much of the peculiar gloom which thus afflicted him could be traced to a more natural and far more palpable origin—to the severe and long-continued illness—indeed to the evidently approaching dissolution—of a tenderly beloved sister—his sole companion for long years—his last and only relative on earth. “Her decease,” he said, with a bitterness which I can never forget, “would leave him (him the hopeless and the frail) the last of the ancient race of the Ushers.” While he spoke, the lady Madeline (for so was she called) passed slowly through a remote portion of the apartment, and, without having noticed my presence, disappeared. I regarded her with an utter astonishment not unmingled with dread—and yet I found it impossible to account for such feelings. A sensation of stupor oppressed me, as my eyes followed her retreating steps. When a door, at length, closed upon her, my glance sought instinctively and eagerly the countenance of the brother—but he had buried his face in his hands, and I could only perceive that a far more than ordinary wanness had overspread the emaciated fingers through which trickled many passionate tears.

He admitted, although a bit hesitantly, that much of the strange gloom that troubled him had a more natural and obvious cause—specifically, the severe and prolonged illness—indeed, the obviously impending death—of a dearly loved sister, his only companion for many years and his last living relative. “Her death,” he said, with a bitterness I can never forget, “would leave him (the hopeless and the frail) the last of the ancient Ushers.” While he spoke, Lady Madeline (that's what she was called) slowly moved through a distant part of the room and, without noticing me, disappeared. I looked at her in utter astonishment mixed with fear, yet I found it impossible to explain such feelings. A sense of numbness weighed me down as my eyes followed her as she left. When a door finally shut behind her, I instinctively and eagerly sought the face of her brother—but he had buried his face in his hands, and I could only see that a greater-than-usual paleness had spread over the bony fingers through which many anguished tears flowed.

The disease of the lady Madeline had long baffled the skill of her physicians. A settled apathy, a gradual wasting away of the person, and frequent although transient affections of a partially cataleptical character, were the unusual diagnosis. Hitherto she had steadily borne up against the pressure of her malady, and had not betaken herself finally to bed; but, on the closing in of the evening of my arrival at the house, she succumbed (as her brother told me at night with inexpressible agitation) to the prostrating power of the destroyer; and I learned that the glimpse I had obtained of her person would thus probably be the last I should obtain—that the lady, at least while living, would be seen by me no more.

The illness of Lady Madeline had long puzzled her doctors. She showed a persistent apathy, a gradual decline in her health, and frequent but brief episodes resembling catalepsy. Until now, she had managed to cope with the strain of her condition and had not given in completely to bed rest. However, on the evening of my arrival at the house, she finally succumbed, as her brother told me that night with immense distress, to the debilitating effects of her illness. I realized that the brief glimpse I had gotten of her would likely be the last, and that I would not see her alive again.

For several days ensuing, her name was unmentioned by either Usher or myself; and during this period I was busied in earnest endeavors to alleviate the melancholy of my friend. We painted and read together; or I listened, as if in a dream, to the wild improvisations of his speaking guitar. And thus, as a closer and still closer intimacy admitted me more unreservedly into the recesses of his spirit, the more bitterly did I perceive the futility of all attempt at cheering a mind from which darkness, as if an inherent positive quality, poured forth upon all objects of the moral and physical universe, in one unceasing radiation of gloom.

For several days afterward, neither Usher nor I mentioned her name; during this time, I focused on trying to lift my friend's spirits. We painted and read together, or I listened, almost in a daze, to the wild improvisations of his guitar. As our closeness increased and I got deeper into his soul, I began to realize just how futile my attempts were to cheer him up. It became clear that darkness, as if it were an integral part of him, spread over everything in both the moral and physical world, radiating a constant gloom.

I shall ever bear about me a memory of the many solemn hours I thus spent alone with the master of the House of Usher. Yet I should fail in any attempt to convey an idea of the exact character of the studies, or of the occupations, in which he involved me, or led me the way. An excited and highly distempered ideality threw a sulphureous lustre over all. His long improvised dirges will ring forever in my ears. Among other things, I hold painfully in mind a certain singular perversion and amplification of the wild air of the last waltz of Von Weber. From the paintings over which his elaborate fancy brooded, and which grew, touch by touch, into vaguenesses at which I shuddered the more thrillingly, because I shuddered knowing not why—from these paintings (vivid as their images now are before me) I would in vain endeavor to educe more than a small portion which should lie within the compass of merely written words. By the utter simplicity, by the nakedness of his designs, he arrested and overawed attention. If ever mortal painted an idea, that mortal was Roderick Usher. For me at least—in the circumstances then surrounding me—there arose out of the pure abstractions which the hypochondriac contrived to throw upon his canvass, an intensity of intolerable awe, no shadow of which felt I ever yet in the contemplation of the certainly glowing yet too concrete reveries of Fuseli.

I will always carry with me the memory of the many serious hours I spent alone with the master of the House of Usher. However, I would fail to capture exactly the nature of the studies or the activities he engaged me in or guided me towards. An intense and highly disturbed imagination cast a sulfurous glow over everything. His long, improvised dirges will echo in my ears forever. Among other things, I painfully remember a certain peculiar distortion and expansion of the wild melody from the last waltz by Von Weber. From the paintings that his elaborate imagination lingered on, which grew, touch by touch, into misty images that made me shudder even more thrillingly because I shuddered not knowing why—from these paintings (vivid as their images are in my mind now), I would in vain try to extract more than a small portion that could be contained in mere written words. By the sheer simplicity and the rawness of his designs, he captured and commanded attention. If anyone ever painted an idea, that person was Roderick Usher. At least for me—in the circumstances surrounding me at that time—there emerged from the pure abstractions that the melancholic artist managed to cast upon his canvas an intensity of overwhelming awe, a feeling I had never experienced even in the certainly vibrant yet too concrete daydreams of Fuseli.

One of the phantasmagoric conceptions of my friend, partaking not so rigidly of the spirit of abstraction, may be shadowed forth, although feebly, in words. A small picture presented the interior of an immensely long and rectangular vault or tunnel, with low walls, smooth, white, and without interruption or device. Certain accessory points of the design served well to convey the idea that this excavation lay at an exceeding depth below the surface of the earth. No outlet was observed in any portion of its vast extent, and no torch, or other artificial source of light was discernible; yet a flood of intense rays rolled throughout, and bathed the whole in a ghastly and inappropriate splendor.

One of my friend's strange ideas, which wasn't too fixated on abstract concepts, can be vaguely described in words. A small image showed the inside of a very long and rectangular tunnel, with low walls that were smooth, white, and featureless. Certain details in the design effectively suggested that this excavation was extremely deep beneath the earth's surface. There was no entrance or exit anywhere within its vast expanse, and no torch or other artificial light source could be seen; yet, a flood of bright rays filled the space, casting an eerie and unsettling glow over everything.

I have just spoken of that morbid condition of the auditory nerve which rendered all music intolerable to the sufferer, with the exception of certain effects of stringed instruments. It was, perhaps, the narrow limits to which he thus confined himself upon the guitar, which gave birth, in great measure, to the fantastic character of his performances. But the fervid facility of his impromptus could not be so accounted for. They must have been, and were, in the notes, as well as in the words of his wild fantasias (for he not unfrequently accompanied himself with rhymed verbal improvisations), the result of that intense mental collectedness and concentration to which I have previously alluded as observable only in particular moments of the highest artificial excitement. The words of one of these rhapsodies I have easily remembered. I was, perhaps, the more forcibly impressed with it, as he gave it, because, in the under or mystic current of its meaning, I fancied that I perceived, and for the first time, a full consciousness on the part of Usher of the tottering of his lofty reason upon her throne. The verses, which were entitled “The Haunted Palace,” ran very nearly, if not accurately, thus:

I just talked about that unsettling condition of the auditory nerve that made all music unbearable for the person experiencing it, except for certain sounds from stringed instruments. It might have been the limited range he imposed on himself with the guitar that contributed significantly to the unique style of his performances. However, the passionate ease he showed in his improvisations can't be explained that way. They must have come from the intense mental focus and concentration I mentioned earlier, which is only seen during particular moments of extreme excitement. I easily remembered the words from one of these rhapsodies. I was probably more struck by it as he performed, because in the underlying or hidden meaning, I thought I caught, for the first time, Usher's full awareness of the instability of his high reason on its throne. The verses, titled "The Haunted Palace," went something like this:

                        I.
In the greenest of our valleys,
    By good angels tenanted,
Once a fair and stately palace—
    Radiant palace—reared its head.
In the monarch Thought’s dominion—
    It stood there!
Never seraph spread a pinion
    Over fabric half so fair.

                        II.
Banners yellow, glorious, golden,
    On its roof did float and flow;
(This—all this—was in the olden
    Time long ago)
And every gentle air that dallied,
    In that sweet day,
Along the ramparts plumed and pallid,
    A winged odor went away.

                        III.
Wanderers in that happy valley
    Through two luminous windows saw
Spirits moving musically
    To a lute’s well-tunéd law,
Round about a throne, where sitting
    (Porphyrogene!)
In state his glory well befitting,
    The ruler of the realm was seen.

                        IV.
And all with pearl and ruby glowing
    Was the fair palace door,
Through which came flowing, flowing, flowing,
    And sparkling evermore,
A troop of Echoes whose sweet duty
    Was but to sing,
In voices of surpassing beauty,
    The wit and wisdom of their king.

                        V.
But evil things, in robes of sorrow,
    Assailed the monarch’s high estate;
(Ah, let us mourn, for never morrow
    Shall dawn upon him, desolate!)
And, round about his home, the glory
    That blushed and bloomed
Is but a dim-remembered story
    Of the old time entombed.

                        VI.
And travellers now within that valley,
    Through the red-litten windows, see
Vast forms that move fantastically
    To a discordant melody;
While, like a rapid ghastly river,
    Through the pale door,
A hideous throng rush out forever,
    And laugh—but smile no more.

I.
In the greenest of our valleys,
    Home to good angels,
Once stood a beautiful and grand palace—
    A radiant palace—towering high.
In the realm of the mind—
    It was there!
No angel ever spread its wings
    Over a creation so beautiful.

                        II.
Yellow banners, glorious and golden,
    Waved and flowed on its roof;
(This—all of this—was in the old days
    Long, long ago)
And every gentle breeze that lingered,
    On that sweet day,
Along the ramparts, soft and pale,
    Carried a fragrant scent away.

                        III.
Wanderers in that joyful valley
    Saw through two shining windows
Spirits moving gracefully
    To the tune of a well-played lute,
Around a throne, where sitting
    (Greatly born!)
In dignity fitting his glory,
    The ruler of the realm was seen.

                        IV.
And the fair palace door
    Glowed with pearls and rubies;
Through which flowed, flowed, flowed,
    And sparkled forever,
A group of Echoes whose sweet duty
    Was just to sing,
In voices of incredible beauty,
    The wit and wisdom of their king.

                        V.
But evil things, cloaked in sorrow,
    Attacked the monarch’s high position;
(Ah, let us mourn, for never a tomorrow
    Shall dawn upon him, abandoned!)
And around his home, the splendor
    That glowed and flourished
Is just a faintly remembered tale
    Of a bygone time buried deep.

                        VI.
And travelers now in that valley,
    Through the red-lit windows, see
Large forms that move oddly
    To a jarring melody;
While, like a swift, eerie river,
    Through the pale door,
A dreadful crowd rushes out forever,
    And laughs—but smiles no more.

I well remember that suggestions arising from this ballad, led us into a train of thought wherein there became manifest an opinion of Usher’s which I mention not so much on account of its novelty, (for other men * have thought thus,) as on account of the pertinacity with which he maintained it. This opinion, in its general form, was that of the sentience of all vegetable things. But, in his disordered fancy, the idea had assumed a more daring character, and trespassed, under certain conditions, upon the kingdom of inorganization. I lack words to express the full extent, or the earnest abandon of his persuasion. The belief, however, was connected (as I have previously hinted) with the gray stones of the home of his forefathers. The conditions of the sentience had been here, he imagined, fulfilled in the method of collocation of these stones—in the order of their arrangement, as well as in that of the many fungi which overspread them, and of the decayed trees which stood around—above all, in the long undisturbed endurance of this arrangement, and in its reduplication in the still waters of the tarn. Its evidence—the evidence of the sentience—was to be seen, he said, (and I here started as he spoke,) in the gradual yet certain condensation of an atmosphere of their own about the waters and the walls. The result was discoverable, he added, in that silent, yet importunate and terrible influence which for centuries had moulded the destinies of his family, and which made him what I now saw him—what he was. Such opinions need no comment, and I will make none.

I clearly remember that ideas stemming from this ballad led us into a line of thought where Usher's belief became evident. I mention it not so much because it’s new (since others have thought this way) but because of how strongly he held onto it. His belief, in general terms, was that all plant life has feelings. However, in his disturbed mind, this idea took on a bolder character, even extending, under certain conditions, to the realm of the inanimate. I struggle to find the words to fully capture the depth and fervor of his conviction. This belief, as I’ve hinted before, was tied to the gray stones of his ancestral home. He imagined that the conditions for sentience were met here, in how these stones were positioned—both their arrangement and the many fungi covering them, as well as the decayed trees around them. Above all, it was in the long-standing stability of this arrangement and its reflection in the still waters of the tarn. He said the evidence of this sentience could be seen (and I flinched as he spoke) in the gradual but unmistakable thickening of a unique atmosphere around the waters and the walls. The outcome, he added, was evident in the silent yet persistent and terrifying force that had shaped his family's fate for centuries, making him what I now saw—what he was. Such beliefs don't require commentary, and I won't provide any.

* Watson, Dr. Percival, Spallanzani, and especially the Bishop of Landaff.—See “Chemical Essays,” vol v.

* Watson, Dr. Percival, Spallanzani, and especially the Bishop of Landaff.—See “Chemical Essays,” vol v.

Our books—the books which, for years, had formed no small portion of the mental existence of the invalid—were, as might be supposed, in strict keeping with this character of phantasm. We pored together over such works as the Ververt et Chartreuse of Gresset; the Belphegor of Machiavelli; the Heaven and Hell of Swedenborg; the Subterranean Voyage of Nicholas Klimm by Holberg; the Chiromancy of Robert Flud, of Jean D’Indaginé, and of De la Chambre; the Journey into the Blue Distance of Tieck; and the City of the Sun of Campanella. One favorite volume was a small octavo edition of the Directorium Inquisitorium, by the Dominican Eymeric de Gironne; and there were passages in Pomponius Mela, about the old African Satyrs and OEgipans, over which Usher would sit dreaming for hours. His chief delight, however, was found in the perusal of an exceedingly rare and curious book in quarto Gothic—the manual of a forgotten church—the Vigiliae Mortuorum secundum Chorum Ecclesiae Maguntinae.

Our books—the ones that, for years, had played a big part in the mental life of the sick man—were, as you might expect, perfectly in line with this theme of dreams. We would read together works like the *Ververt et Chartreuse* by Gresset; *Belphegor* by Machiavelli; *Heaven and Hell* by Swedenborg; *The Subterranean Voyage of Nicholas Klimm* by Holberg; *Chiromancy* by Robert Flud, Jean D’Indaginé, and De la Chambre; *Journey into the Blue Distance* by Tieck; and *City of the Sun* by Campanella. One of our favorite books was a small octavo edition of the *Directorium Inquisitorium* by the Dominican Eymeric de Gironne; there were also passages from Pomponius Mela about the old African Satyrs and OEgipans, which would keep Usher lost in thought for hours. His greatest pleasure, however, was found in reading an extremely rare and fascinating quarto Gothic book—the manual of a forgotten church—the *Vigiliae Mortuorum secundum Chorum Ecclesiae Maguntinae*.

I could not help thinking of the wild ritual of this work, and of its probable influence upon the hypochondriac, when, one evening, having informed me abruptly that the lady Madeline was no more, he stated his intention of preserving her corpse for a fortnight, (previously to its final interment,) in one of the numerous vaults within the main walls of the building. The worldly reason, however, assigned for this singular proceeding, was one which I did not feel at liberty to dispute. The brother had been led to his resolution (so he told me) by consideration of the unusual character of the malady of the deceased, of certain obtrusive and eager inquiries on the part of her medical men, and of the remote and exposed situation of the burial-ground of the family. I will not deny that when I called to mind the sinister countenance of the person whom I met upon the staircase, on the day of my arrival at the house, I had no desire to oppose what I regarded as at best but a harmless, and by no means an unnatural, precaution.

I couldn't help but think about the strange ritual of this task and its potential impact on someone who might be feeling down. One evening, after abruptly telling me that Lady Madeline had passed away, he mentioned his plan to keep her body for two weeks (before her final burial) in one of the many vaults within the main walls of the building. The practical reason he gave for this unusual decision was something I felt I shouldn't argue against. He explained that his choice was influenced by the unusual nature of the deceased's illness, some intrusive and eager questions from her doctors, and the remote and exposed location of the family’s burial site. I won’t deny that when I remembered the eerie face of the person I had encountered on the staircase the day I arrived at the house, I had no desire to challenge what I considered at best a harmless, and certainly not an unnatural, precaution.

At the request of Usher, I personally aided him in the arrangements for the temporary entombment. The body having been encoffined, we two alone bore it to its rest. The vault in which we placed it (and which had been so long unopened that our torches, half smothered in its oppressive atmosphere, gave us little opportunity for investigation) was small, damp, and entirely without means of admission for light; lying, at great depth, immediately beneath that portion of the building in which was my own sleeping apartment. It had been used, apparently, in remote feudal times, for the worst purposes of a donjon-keep, and, in later days, as a place of deposit for powder, or some other highly combustible substance, as a portion of its floor, and the whole interior of a long archway through which we reached it, were carefully sheathed with copper. The door, of massive iron, had been, also, similarly protected. Its immense weight caused an unusually sharp grating sound, as it moved upon its hinges.

At Usher's request, I personally helped him with the arrangements for the temporary burial. Once the body was in the coffin, the two of us carried it to its resting place. The vault where we placed it (which had been unopened for so long that our torches, struggling against the heavy atmosphere, didn’t give us much chance to look around) was small, damp, and completely dark; lying deep below the part of the building where my own bedroom was. It seemed to have been used, long ago, for the worst purposes of a dungeon, and later as a storage place for powder or some other highly flammable substance, since part of its floor and the entire interior of the long archway we went through to get there were carefully lined with copper. The heavy iron door had also been similarly reinforced. Its great weight made an unusually loud grating noise as it opened on its hinges.

Having deposited our mournful burden upon tressels within this region of horror, we partially turned aside the yet unscrewed lid of the coffin, and looked upon the face of the tenant. A striking similitude between the brother and sister now first arrested my attention; and Usher, divining, perhaps, my thoughts, murmured out some few words from which I learned that the deceased and himself had been twins, and that sympathies of a scarcely intelligible nature had always existed between them. Our glances, however, rested not long upon the dead—for we could not regard her unawed. The disease which had thus entombed the lady in the maturity of youth, had left, as usual in all maladies of a strictly cataleptical character, the mockery of a faint blush upon the bosom and the face, and that suspiciously lingering smile upon the lip which is so terrible in death. We replaced and screwed down the lid, and, having secured the door of iron, made our way, with toil, into the scarcely less gloomy apartments of the upper portion of the house.

Having placed our sorrowful burden on supports in this dreadful place, we partially turned aside the unfastened lid of the coffin and looked at the face of the occupant. A striking resemblance between the brother and sister caught my attention for the first time; and Usher, maybe sensing my thoughts, mumbled some words from which I learned that he and the deceased were twins, and that strange, barely understandable sympathies had always existed between them. However, we didn’t linger long on the dead—her presence was too overwhelming for us to bear. The illness that had sealed the lady away in her youth had left, as often seen in all strictly cataleptic conditions, the mockery of a faint blush on her chest and face, and that unsettlingly lingering smile on her lips that is so haunting in death. We replaced and secured the lid and, after locking the iron door, made our way, with effort, into the equally dark rooms of the upper part of the house.

And now, some days of bitter grief having elapsed, an observable change came over the features of the mental disorder of my friend. His ordinary manner had vanished. His ordinary occupations were neglected or forgotten. He roamed from chamber to chamber with hurried, unequal, and objectless step. The pallor of his countenance had assumed, if possible, a more ghastly hue—but the luminousness of his eye had utterly gone out. The once occasional huskiness of his tone was heard no more; and a tremulous quaver, as if of extreme terror, habitually characterized his utterance. There were times, indeed, when I thought his unceasingly agitated mind was laboring with some oppressive secret, to divulge which he struggled for the necessary courage. At times, again, I was obliged to resolve all into the mere inexplicable vagaries of madness, for I beheld him gazing upon vacancy for long hours, in an attitude of the profoundest attention, as if listening to some imaginary sound. It was no wonder that his condition terrified—that it infected me. I felt creeping upon me, by slow yet certain degrees, the wild influences of his own fantastic yet impressive superstitions.

And now, after a few days of deep sorrow, a noticeable change came over my friend's mental state. His usual demeanor had disappeared. He neglected or completely forgot his everyday activities. He moved from room to room with a hurried, uneven, and aimless gait. The pallor of his face took on an even more ghastly hue—yet the brightness in his eyes had completely vanished. The occasional raspy quality in his voice was gone; instead, a quivering tremor, as if from intense fear, regularly marked his speech. There were moments when I thought his constantly troubled mind was wrestling with some heavy secret, struggling to find the courage to reveal it. Other times, I had to chalk it up to the inexplicable quirks of madness, as I saw him staring into space for long periods, in a pose of deep concentration, as if he were listening to some imaginary sound. It was no surprise that his state frightened me—that it affected me. I felt the slow yet certain encroachment of his own wild and impressive superstitions creeping over me.

It was, especially, upon retiring to bed late in the night of the seventh or eighth day after the placing of the lady Madeline within the donjon, that I experienced the full power of such feelings. Sleep came not near my couch—while the hours waned and waned away. I struggled to reason off the nervousness which had dominion over me. I endeavored to believe that much, if not all of what I felt, was due to the bewildering influence of the gloomy furniture of the room—of the dark and tattered draperies, which, tortured into motion by the breath of a rising tempest, swayed fitfully to and fro upon the walls, and rustled uneasily about the decorations of the bed. But my efforts were fruitless. An irrepressible tremor gradually pervaded my frame; and, at length, there sat upon my very heart an incubus of utterly causeless alarm. Shaking this off with a gasp and a struggle, I uplifted myself upon the pillows, and, peering earnestly within the intense darkness of the chamber, harkened—I know not why, except that an instinctive spirit prompted me—to certain low and indefinite sounds which came, through the pauses of the storm, at long intervals, I knew not whence. Overpowered by an intense sentiment of horror, unaccountable yet unendurable, I threw on my clothes with haste (for I felt that I should sleep no more during the night), and endeavored to arouse myself from the pitiable condition into which I had fallen, by pacing rapidly to and fro through the apartment.

It was especially on the night of the seventh or eighth day after Lady Madeline was placed in the dungeon that I truly felt the weight of my emotions. Sleep would not come to me—hours passed by endlessly. I tried to shake off the nervousness that had taken hold of me. I attempted to convince myself that a lot of what I was feeling was just the overwhelming influence of the dark, heavy furniture in the room—the dark and tattered curtains, which swayed and rustled with the gusts of a rising storm, unsettling the atmosphere around the bed. But my attempts were in vain. An uncontrollable shiver gradually took over my body, and soon there was a weight on my heart that brought on an irrational fear. After taking a deep breath and fighting through it, I propped myself up on the pillows and peered intently into the thick darkness of the room, listening—though I couldn’t explain why, other than an instinct prompting me—to certain faint, unclear sounds that came intermittently through the storm, their source unknown to me. Overcome by a deep sense of horror, inexplicable yet unbearable, I hurriedly got dressed (for I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep anymore that night) and tried to pull myself out of the pitiful state I was in by pacing back and forth across the room.

I had taken but few turns in this manner, when a light step on an adjoining staircase arrested my attention. I presently recognised it as that of Usher. In an instant afterward he rapped, with a gentle touch, at my door, and entered, bearing a lamp. His countenance was, as usual, cadaverously wan—but, moreover, there was a species of mad hilarity in his eyes—an evidently restrained hysteria in his whole demeanor. His air appalled me—but anything was preferable to the solitude which I had so long endured, and I even welcomed his presence as a relief.

I had just taken a few steps this way when I heard a light footstep on a nearby staircase that caught my attention. I quickly recognized it as Usher's. Moments later, he knocked gently on my door and walked in, holding a lamp. As always, his face was deathly pale, but there was also a kind of wild excitement in his eyes—an obviously suppressed hysteria in his entire demeanor. His presence unsettled me, but anything was better than the solitude I had endured for so long, so I even welcomed him as a welcome break.

“And you have not seen it?” he said abruptly, after having stared about him for some moments in silence—“you have not then seen it?—but, stay! you shall.” Thus speaking, and having carefully shaded his lamp, he hurried to one of the casements, and threw it freely open to the storm.

“And you haven’t seen it?” he asked suddenly, after looking around him in silence for a moment—“you haven’t seen it?—but, wait! you will.” With that, he carefully adjusted his lamp's shade and rushed to one of the windows, throwing it wide open to the storm.

The impetuous fury of the entering gust nearly lifted us from our feet. It was, indeed, a tempestuous yet sternly beautiful night, and one wildly singular in its terror and its beauty. A whirlwind had apparently collected its force in our vicinity; for there were frequent and violent alterations in the direction of the wind; and the exceeding density of the clouds (which hung so low as to press upon the turrets of the house) did not prevent our perceiving the life-like velocity with which they flew careering from all points against each other, without passing away into the distance. I say that even their exceeding density did not prevent our perceiving this—yet we had no glimpse of the moon or stars—nor was there any flashing forth of the lightning. But the under surfaces of the huge masses of agitated vapor, as well as all terrestrial objects immediately around us, were glowing in the unnatural light of a faintly luminous and distinctly visible gaseous exhalation which hung about and enshrouded the mansion.

The rushing wind as it entered almost knocked us off our feet. It truly was a wild yet strikingly beautiful night, uniquely terrifying and stunning at the same time. A whirlwind seemed to have gathered strength nearby; there were constant and intense changes in the wind’s direction, and the thick clouds (which were so low they pressed against the house’s towers) didn’t stop us from seeing how quickly they moved, swirling against each other without drifting away into the distance. I mention that even the thickness of the clouds didn’t stop us from noticing this—yet we didn’t catch a glimpse of the moon or stars—nor was there any flash of lightning. However, the undersides of the massive, stirred-up clouds, along with everything around us, glowed in an eerie light from a faintly luminous and clearly visible gas that surrounded and cloaked the mansion.

“You must not—you shall not behold this!” said I, shudderingly, to Usher, as I led him, with a gentle violence, from the window to a seat. “These appearances, which bewilder you, are merely electrical phenomena not uncommon—or it may be that they have their ghastly origin in the rank miasma of the tarn. Let us close this casement;—the air is chilling and dangerous to your frame. Here is one of your favorite romances. I will read, and you shall listen;—and so we will pass away this terrible night together.”

“You must not—you cannot look at this!” I said, shuddering, to Usher as I gently but firmly led him away from the window to a seat. “These sights that confuse you are just electrical phenomena, nothing unusual—or they might have their eerie source in the foul air of the tarn. Let's close this window; the air is cold and could harm you. Here’s one of your favorite stories. I’ll read, and you can listen; and we’ll get through this awful night together.”

The antique volume which I had taken up was the “Mad Trist” of Sir Launcelot Canning; but I had called it a favorite of Usher’s more in sad jest than in earnest; for, in truth, there is little in its uncouth and unimaginative prolixity which could have had interest for the lofty and spiritual ideality of my friend. It was, however, the only book immediately at hand; and I indulged a vague hope that the excitement which now agitated the hypochondriac, might find relief (for the history of mental disorder is full of similar anomalies) even in the extremeness of the folly which I should read. Could I have judged, indeed, by the wild overstrained air of vivacity with which he harkened, or apparently harkened, to the words of the tale, I might well have congratulated myself upon the success of my design.

The old book I picked up was the “Mad Trist” by Sir Launcelot Canning; but I had called it a favorite of Usher’s more in a sad joke than seriously; because, honestly, there’s not much in its awkward and unimaginative length that would interest my friend’s lofty and spiritual ideals. However, it was the only book I had right in front of me, and I held onto a vague hope that the excitement currently overwhelming the hypochondriac might find some relief (since the history of mental illness is full of similar oddities) even in the extreme silliness of what I was about to read. If I could have judged by the wild and strained liveliness with which he listened, or at least seemed to listen, to the words of the story, I might have felt pretty proud of the success of my plan.

I had arrived at that well-known portion of the story where Ethelred, the hero of the Trist, having sought in vain for peaceable admission into the dwelling of the hermit, proceeds to make good an entrance by force. Here, it will be remembered, the words of the narrative run thus:

I had reached that famous part of the story where Ethelred, the hero of the Trist, after unsuccessfully trying to gain peaceful entry into the hermit's home, decides to break in by force. Here, as you'll recall, the narrative says:

“And Ethelred, who was by nature of a doughty heart, and who was now mighty withal, on account of the powerfulness of the wine which he had drunken, waited no longer to hold parley with the hermit, who, in sooth, was of an obstinate and maliceful turn, but, feeling the rain upon his shoulders, and fearing the rising of the tempest, uplifted his mace outright, and, with blows, made quickly room in the plankings of the door for his gauntleted hand; and now pulling therewith sturdily, he so cracked, and ripped, and tore all asunder, that the noise of the dry and hollow-sounding wood alarummed and reverberated throughout the forest.”

“And Ethelred, who was naturally brave and now felt powerful because of the strong wine he had drunk, didn’t wait any longer to talk with the hermit, who was truly stubborn and malicious. Instead, feeling the rain on his shoulders and worried about the storm coming, he raised his mace and, with a few hard hits, quickly made space in the door for his armored hand. Then, pulling with all his strength, he cracked, ripped, and tore everything apart, making a loud noise that echoed throughout the forest.”

At the termination of this sentence I started, and for a moment, paused; for it appeared to me (although I at once concluded that my excited fancy had deceived me)—it appeared to me that, from some very remote portion of the mansion, there came, indistinctly, to my ears, what might have been, in its exact similarity of character, the echo (but a stifled and dull one certainly) of the very cracking and ripping sound which Sir Launcelot had so particularly described. It was, beyond doubt, the coincidence alone which had arrested my attention; for, amid the rattling of the sashes of the casements, and the ordinary commingled noises of the still increasing storm, the sound, in itself, had nothing, surely, which should have interested or disturbed me. I continued the story:

At the end of this sentence I started, and for a moment, paused; because it seemed to me (even though I quickly figured my excited imagination was playing tricks on me)—it seemed to me that, from some very far part of the mansion, I could hear, faintly, what might have been, in its exact similarity, the echo (though definitely a muffled and dull one) of the very cracking and ripping sound that Sir Launcelot had described so specifically. It was, without a doubt, just the coincidence that caught my attention; because, amidst the rattling of the window sashes and the usual mix of noises from the still-growing storm, the sound itself had nothing that should have fascinated or unsettled me. I continued the story:

“But the good champion Ethelred, now entering within the door, was sore enraged and amazed to perceive no signal of the maliceful hermit; but, in the stead thereof, a dragon of a scaly and prodigious demeanor, and of a fiery tongue, which sate in guard before a palace of gold, with a floor of silver; and upon the wall there hung a shield of shining brass with this legend enwritten—

“But the brave champion Ethelred, now stepping through the door, was furious and shocked to see no sign of the wicked hermit; instead, he found a massive, scaly dragon with a fiery tongue, guarding a palace made of gold with a silver floor. On the wall hung a shield of gleaming brass with this inscription—

Who entereth herein, a conqueror hath bin;
Who slayeth the dragon, the shield he shall win;

Whoever enters here has already conquered;
Whoever slays the dragon will win the shield;

And Ethelred uplifted his mace, and struck upon the head of the dragon, which fell before him, and gave up his pesty breath, with a shriek so horrid and harsh, and withal so piercing, that Ethelred had fain to close his ears with his hands against the dreadful noise of it, the like whereof was never before heard.”

And Ethelred raised his mace and struck the dragon on the head, which fell before him and let out its foul breath with a horrible, harsh shriek that was so piercing that Ethelred had to cover his ears with his hands to block out the terrible noise, unlike anything ever heard before.

Here again I paused abruptly, and now with a feeling of wild amazement—for there could be no doubt whatever that, in this instance, I did actually hear (although from what direction it proceeded I found it impossible to say) a low and apparently distant, but harsh, protracted, and most unusual screaming or grating sound—the exact counterpart of what my fancy had already conjured up for the dragon’s unnatural shriek as described by the romancer.

Here again I suddenly stopped, and now I felt a wild sense of amazement—there was no doubt that, in this case, I really did hear (although I couldn’t tell from which direction it came) a low and seemingly distant, yet harsh, prolonged, and very unusual screaming or grating sound—the exact match for what my imagination had already envisioned as the dragon’s unnatural shriek as described by the storyteller.

Oppressed, as I certainly was, upon the occurrence of this second and most extraordinary coincidence, by a thousand conflicting sensations, in which wonder and extreme terror were predominant, I still retained sufficient presence of mind to avoid exciting, by any observation, the sensitive nervousness of my companion. I was by no means certain that he had noticed the sounds in question; although, assuredly, a strange alteration had, during the last few minutes, taken place in his demeanor. From a position fronting my own, he had gradually brought round his chair, so as to sit with his face to the door of the chamber; and thus I could but partially perceive his features, although I saw that his lips trembled as if he were murmuring inaudibly. His head had dropped upon his breast—yet I knew that he was not asleep, from the wide and rigid opening of the eye as I caught a glance of it in profile. The motion of his body, too, was at variance with this idea—for he rocked from side to side with a gentle yet constant and uniform sway. Having rapidly taken notice of all this, I resumed the narrative of Sir Launcelot, which thus proceeded:

Feeling oppressed, as I definitely was, by a flood of conflicting emotions—mostly wonder and deep fear—when this second, extraordinary coincidence happened, I still managed to keep my cool and not say anything that might upset my nervous companion. I wasn't sure he had noticed the strange sounds, but it was clear that something had changed in him over the past few minutes. He had slowly turned his chair to face the door of the room, so I could only partially see his face. I did notice that his lips were trembling as if he was silently whispering. His head had dropped onto his chest, but I could tell he wasn't asleep because his eye was wide open and rigid when I caught a glimpse of it from the side. His body movement also contradicted the idea that he was asleep—he was gently swaying side to side in a steady and rhythmic motion. After quickly taking all this in, I picked up the story of Sir Launcelot, which continued:

“And now, the champion, having escaped from the terrible fury of the dragon, bethinking himself of the brazen shield, and of the breaking up of the enchantment which was upon it, removed the carcass from out of the way before him, and approached valorously over the silver pavement of the castle to where the shield was upon the wall; which in sooth tarried not for his full coming, but fell down at his feet upon the silver floor, with a mighty great and terrible ringing sound.”

“And now, the champion, having escaped from the dragon's fierce wrath, remembering the bronze shield and the breaking of the enchantment on it, removed the carcass from his path and bravely walked across the silver floor of the castle toward where the shield hung on the wall; and indeed, it did not wait for him to arrive, but fell at his feet onto the silver ground with a loud and terrifying clang.”

No sooner had these syllables passed my lips, than—as if a shield of brass had indeed, at the moment, fallen heavily upon a floor of silver—I became aware of a distinct, hollow, metallic, and clangorous, yet apparently muffled reverberation. Completely unnerved, I leaped to my feet; but the measured rocking movement of Usher was undisturbed. I rushed to the chair in which he sat. His eyes were bent fixedly before him, and throughout his whole countenance there reigned a stony rigidity. But, as I placed my hand upon his shoulder, there came a strong shudder over his whole person; a sickly smile quivered about his lips; and I saw that he spoke in a low, hurried, and gibbering murmur, as if unconscious of my presence. Bending closely over him, I at length drank in the hideous import of his words.

No sooner had those words left my lips than, as if a heavy brass shield had suddenly crashed down onto a silver floor, I noticed a distinct, hollow, metallic, and loud, yet somehow muffled, echo. Completely shaken, I jumped to my feet; but Usher’s steady swaying continued undisturbed. I rushed to the chair where he sat. His eyes were fixed ahead, and his entire face held a cold stiffness. But when I placed my hand on his shoulder, a strong shudder went through his whole body; a sickly smile trembled on his lips, and I realized he was speaking in a low, hurried, and jittery murmur, as if unaware of my presence. Leaning in close to him, I finally grasped the horrifying meaning of his words.

“Not hear it?—yes, I hear it, and have heard it. Long—long—long—many minutes, many hours, many days, have I heard it—yet I dared not—oh, pity me, miserable wretch that I am!—I dared not—I dared not speak! We have put her living in the tomb! Said I not that my senses were acute? I now tell you that I heard her first feeble movements in the hollow coffin. I heard them—many, many days ago—yet I dared not—I dared not speak! And now—to-night—Ethelred—ha! ha!—the breaking of the hermit’s door, and the death-cry of the dragon, and the clangor of the shield!—say, rather, the rending of her coffin, and the grating of the iron hinges of her prison, and her struggles within the coppered archway of the vault! Oh whither shall I fly? Will she not be here anon? Is she not hurrying to upbraid me for my haste? Have I not heard her footstep on the stair? Do I not distinguish that heavy and horrible beating of her heart? Madman!”—here he sprang furiously to his feet, and shrieked out his syllables, as if in the effort he were giving up his soul—“Madman! I tell you that she now stands without the door!

“Can't you hear it?—yes, I hear it, and I have heard it. For a long—long—long time—many minutes, many hours, many days, I’ve heard it—yet I dared not—oh, pity me, miserable wretch that I am!—I dared not—I dared not speak! We have put her alive in the tomb! Didn't I say my senses were sharp? I can now tell you that I heard her first weak movements in the hollow coffin. I heard them—many, many days ago—but I dared not—I dared not speak! And now—tonight—Ethelred—ha! ha!—the breaking of the hermit’s door, and the death-cry of the dragon, and the clash of the shield!—say, rather, the tearing of her coffin, and the grinding of the iron hinges of her prison, and her struggles inside the coppered archway of the vault! Oh, where shall I run? Won't she be here soon? Is she not rushing to scold me for my haste? Have I not heard her footsteps on the stairs? Can I not make out that heavy and horrible beating of her heart? Madman!”—here he jumped up angrily to his feet and shouted his words, as if in doing so he were giving up his soul—“Madman! I tell you that she now stands outside the door!”

As if in the superhuman energy of his utterance there had been found the potency of a spell—the huge antique pannels to which the speaker pointed, threw slowly back, upon the instant, their ponderous and ebony jaws. It was the work of the rushing gust—but then without those doors there did stand the lofty and enshrouded figure of the lady Madeline of Usher. There was blood upon her white robes, and the evidence of some bitter struggle upon every portion of her emaciated frame. For a moment she remained trembling and reeling to and fro upon the threshold—then, with a low moaning cry, fell heavily inward upon the person of her brother, and in her violent and now final death-agonies, bore him to the floor a corpse, and a victim to the terrors he had anticipated.

As if the powerful energy of his words had cast a spell, the massive antique panels he pointed to slowly opened their heavy, dark doors. It was the force of the rushing wind, but there stood the tall and shrouded figure of Lady Madeline Usher. There was blood on her white robes, and signs of a fierce struggle were visible on her thin, frail body. For a moment, she wavered on the threshold, trembling—then, with a soft, moaning cry, she collapsed into her brother's arms, and in her violent, final moments, took him down with her to the floor, leaving him a lifeless victim of the fears he had foreseen.

From that chamber, and from that mansion, I fled aghast. The storm was still abroad in all its wrath as I found myself crossing the old causeway. Suddenly there shot along the path a wild light, and I turned to see whence a gleam so unusual could have issued; for the vast house and its shadows were alone behind me. The radiance was that of the full, setting, and blood-red moon, which now shone vividly through that once barely-discernible fissure, of which I have before spoken as extending from the roof of the building, in a zigzag direction, to the base. While I gazed, this fissure rapidly widened—there came a fierce breath of the whirlwind—the entire orb of the satellite burst at once upon my sight—my brain reeled as I saw the mighty walls rushing asunder—there was a long tumultuous shouting sound like the voice of a thousand waters—and the deep and dank tarn at my feet closed sullenly and silently over the fragments of the “House of Usher.”

From that room, and from that mansion, I fled in terror. The storm was still raging as I crossed the old causeway. Suddenly, a wild light shot along the path, and I turned to see where such an unusual glow could be coming from, since the vast house and its shadows were all that lay behind me. The light was from the full, setting, blood-red moon, which now shone brightly through that once barely noticeable crack I mentioned before, stretching from the roof of the building in a zigzag way to the ground. As I stared, this crack quickly widened—a fierce gust of wind blew through—the entire orb of the moon became visible at once—I felt dizzy as I watched the massive walls come apart—there was a long, loud roar like the voice of a thousand rushing waters—and the deep, murky tarn at my feet closed gloomily and silently over the remnants of the “House of Usher.”

SILENCE—A FABLE

“The mountain pinnacles slumber; valleys, crags and caves are silent.”

“The mountain peaks are quiet; valleys, cliffs, and caves are silent.”

“Listen to me,” said the Demon as he placed his hand upon my head. “The region of which I speak is a dreary region in Libya, by the borders of the river Zaire. And there is no quiet there, nor silence.

“Listen to me,” said the Demon as he placed his hand on my head. “The place I’m talking about is a gloomy area in Libya, near the borders of the Zaire River. And there is no peace there, nor silence.

“The waters of the river have a saffron and sickly hue; and they flow not onwards to the sea, but palpitate forever and forever beneath the red eye of the sun with a tumultuous and convulsive motion. For many miles on either side of the river’s oozy bed is a pale desert of gigantic water-lilies. They sigh one unto the other in that solitude, and stretch towards the heaven their long and ghastly necks, and nod to and fro their everlasting heads. And there is an indistinct murmur which cometh out from among them like the rushing of subterrene water. And they sigh one unto the other.

The river's waters have a sickly yellow color; they don’t flow towards the sea, but instead pulse continuously beneath the harsh glare of the sun with a chaotic, restless motion. For miles on either side of the river’s muddy bed lies a pale desert filled with huge water lilies. They whisper to each other in that solitude, stretching their long, eerie necks towards the sky and swaying their eternal heads back and forth. An indistinct murmur rises from among them, like the sound of underground water. And they continue to sigh to one another.

“But there is a boundary to their realm—the boundary of the dark, horrible, lofty forest. There, like the waves about the Hebrides, the low underwood is agitated continually. But there is no wind throughout the heaven. And the tall primeval trees rock eternally hither and thither with a crashing and mighty sound. And from their high summits, one by one, drop everlasting dews. And at the roots strange poisonous flowers lie writhing in perturbed slumber. And overhead, with a rustling and loud noise, the gray clouds rush westwardly forever, until they roll, a cataract, over the fiery wall of the horizon. But there is no wind throughout the heaven. And by the shores of the river Zaire there is neither quiet nor silence.

“But there is a boundary to their realm—the boundary of the dark, frightening, towering forest. There, like the waves around the Hebrides, the low underbrush is constantly stirred. But there is no wind anywhere in the sky. And the tall ancient trees sway endlessly back and forth with a crashing, powerful sound. From their high treetops, drops of eternal dew fall one by one. At the roots, strange poisonous flowers writhe in disturbed sleep. And above, with a rustling and loud noise, the gray clouds rush westward forever, until they cascade over the fiery horizon. But there is no wind anywhere in the sky. And by the banks of the Zaire River, there is neither peace nor silence.

“It was night, and the rain fell; and falling, it was rain, but, having fallen, it was blood. And I stood in the morass among the tall and the rain fell upon my head—and the lilies sighed one unto the other in the solemnity of their desolation.

“It was night, and the rain fell; and while it was falling, it was rain, but after it fell, it was blood. I stood in the mud among the tall plants, and the rain poured down on my head—and the lilies sighed to each other in the seriousness of their despair.

“And, all at once, the moon arose through the thin ghastly mist, and was crimson in color. And mine eyes fell upon a huge gray rock which stood by the shore of the river, and was lighted by the light of the moon. And the rock was gray, and ghastly, and tall,—and the rock was gray. Upon its front were characters engraven in the stone; and I walked through the morass of water-lilies, until I came close unto the shore, that I might read the characters upon the stone. But I could not decypher them. And I was going back into the morass, when the moon shone with a fuller red, and I turned and looked again upon the rock, and upon the characters, and the characters were DESOLATION.

“And suddenly, the moon rose through the thin, eerie mist and appeared crimson in color. My eyes fell on a huge gray rock standing by the riverbank, illuminated by the moonlight. The rock was gray, eerie, and tall. On its face were symbols carved into the stone, and I walked through the swamp of water lilies until I was close to the shore to read the symbols. But I couldn’t make them out. As I was about to go back into the swamp, the moon shone with a deeper red, and I turned to look again at the rock and the symbols, which read DESOLATION.

“And I looked upwards, and there stood a man upon the summit of the rock; and I hid myself among the water-lilies that I might discover the actions of the man. And the man was tall and stately in form, and was wrapped up from his shoulders to his feet in the toga of old Rome. And the outlines of his figure were indistinct—but his features were the features of a deity; for the mantle of the night, and of the mist, and of the moon, and of the dew, had left uncovered the features of his face. And his brow was lofty with thought, and his eye wild with care; and, in the few furrows upon his cheek I read the fables of sorrow, and weariness, and disgust with mankind, and a longing after solitude.

“And I looked up, and there was a man standing on top of the rock; and I hid myself among the water lilies to watch what he would do. The man was tall and impressive, wrapped from his shoulders to his feet in the toga of ancient Rome. The details of his figure were unclear, but his features resembled those of a god; for the cloak of night, mist, moonlight, and dew had left his face partially exposed. His brow was high with thought, and his eye was wild with worry; in the few lines on his cheek, I saw stories of sorrow, weariness, a disdain for humanity, and a yearning for solitude.

“And the man sat upon the rock, and leaned his head upon his hand, and looked out upon the desolation. He looked down into the low unquiet shrubbery, and up into the tall primeval trees, and up higher at the rustling heaven, and into the crimson moon. And I lay close within shelter of the lilies, and observed the actions of the man. And the man trembled in the solitude;—but the night waned, and he sat upon the rock.

“And the man sat on the rock, resting his head on his hand, and looked out at the emptiness. He glanced down at the restless bushes, up at the tall ancient trees, and even higher at the rustling sky, and into the crimson moon. I lay close under the shelter of the lilies, watching the man’s actions. The man trembled in the solitude;—but the night passed, and he remained on the rock.”

“And the man turned his attention from the heaven, and looked out upon the dreary river Zaire, and upon the yellow ghastly waters, and upon the pale legions of the water-lilies. And the man listened to the sighs of the water-lilies, and to the murmur that came up from among them. And I lay close within my covert and observed the actions of the man. And the man trembled in the solitude;—but the night waned and he sat upon the rock.

“And the man shifted his gaze from the sky and looked out at the bleak Zaire River, with its eerie yellow waters and the pale crowds of water-lilies. He listened to the sighs of the water-lilies and the murmurs rising from them. I lay hidden nearby and watched the man's actions. He trembled in the solitude;—but as the night passed, he remained sitting on the rock.

“Then I went down into the recesses of the morass, and waded afar in among the wilderness of the lilies, and called unto the hippopotami which dwelt among the fens in the recesses of the morass. And the hippopotami heard my call, and came, with the behemoth, unto the foot of the rock, and roared loudly and fearfully beneath the moon. And I lay close within my covert and observed the actions of the man. And the man trembled in the solitude;—but the night waned and he sat upon the rock.

"Then I went down into the depths of the swamp and waded far into the wilderness of the lilies, calling out to the hippos that lived in the marshy areas. The hippos heard me and came, along with the behemoth, to the foot of the rock, roaring loudly and fearfully beneath the moon. I lay hidden nearby and watched the man's actions. The man trembled in the solitude; but as the night went on, he sat on the rock."

“Then I cursed the elements with the curse of tumult; and a frightful tempest gathered in the heaven where, before, there had been no wind. And the heaven became livid with the violence of the tempest—and the rain beat upon the head of the man—and the floods of the river came down—and the river was tormented into foam—and the water-lilies shrieked within their beds—and the forest crumbled before the wind—and the thunder rolled—and the lightning fell—and the rock rocked to its foundation. And I lay close within my covert and observed the actions of the man. And the man trembled in the solitude;—but the night waned and he sat upon the rock.

“Then I cursed the elements with chaos; and a terrible storm brewed in the sky where there had been no wind before. The sky turned pale with the fury of the storm—and the rain pounded down on the man—and the river surged—and the river was whipped into foam—and the water-lilies screamed in their beds—and the forest fell apart in the wind—and the thunder crashed—and the lightning struck—and the rock shook to its core. I stayed hidden and watched what the man was doing. The man trembled in his solitude;—but as night faded, he sat on the rock.

“Then I grew angry and cursed, with the curse of silence, the river, and the lilies, and the wind, and the forest, and the heaven, and the thunder, and the sighs of the water-lilies. And they became accursed, and were still. And the moon ceased to totter up its pathway to heaven—and the thunder died away—and the lightning did not flash—and the clouds hung motionless—and the waters sunk to their level and remained—and the trees ceased to rock—and the water-lilies sighed no more—and the murmur was heard no longer from among them, nor any shadow of sound throughout the vast illimitable desert. And I looked upon the characters of the rock, and they were changed; and the characters were SILENCE.

“Then I got angry and cursed, with the curse of silence, the river, and the lilies, and the wind, and the forest, and the sky, and the thunder, and the sighs of the water-lilies. And they became cursed and were still. And the moon stopped wobbling on its path to the sky—and the thunder faded away—and the lightning didn’t flash—and the clouds hung motionless—and the waters sank to their level and stayed there—and the trees stopped swaying—and the water-lilies sighed no more—and there was no longer a murmur coming from among them, nor any hint of sound throughout the vast endless desert. And I looked at the characters on the rock, and they had changed; and the characters were SILENCE.

“And mine eyes fell upon the countenance of the man, and his countenance was wan with terror. And, hurriedly, he raised his head from his hand, and stood forth upon the rock and listened. But there was no voice throughout the vast illimitable desert, and the characters upon the rock were SILENCE. And the man shuddered, and turned his face away, and fled afar off, in haste, so that I beheld him no more.”

“And my eyes fell on the face of the man, and his face was pale with fear. He quickly lifted his head from his hands, stood on the rock, and listened. But there was no sound across the endless desert, and the words on the rock were SILENCE. The man shuddered, turned away, and ran off quickly, so that I no longer saw him.”


Now there are fine tales in the volumes of the Magi—in the iron-bound, melancholy volumes of the Magi. Therein, I say, are glorious histories of the Heaven, and of the Earth, and of the mighty sea—and of the Genii that over-ruled the sea, and the earth, and the lofty heaven. There was much lore too in the sayings which were said by the Sybils; and holy, holy things were heard of old by the dim leaves that trembled around Dodona—but, as Allah liveth, that fable which the Demon told me as he sat by my side in the shadow of the tomb, I hold to be the most wonderful of all! And as the Demon made an end of his story, he fell back within the cavity of the tomb and laughed. And I could not laugh with the Demon, and he cursed me because I could not laugh. And the lynx which dwelleth forever in the tomb, came out therefrom, and lay down at the feet of the Demon, and looked at him steadily in the face.

Now there are amazing stories in the volumes of the Magi—in the heavy, gloomy volumes of the Magi. In them, I say, are glorious histories of Heaven, Earth, and the mighty sea—and of the Genii that ruled over the sea, the earth, and the lofty heavens. There was a lot of wisdom in the sayings spoken by the Sybils; and holy, sacred things were heard long ago by the dim leaves that trembled around Dodona—but, as Allah lives, that tale which the Demon told me as he sat by my side in the shadow of the tomb, I believe to be the most incredible of all! And when the Demon finished his story, he leaned back into the tomb and laughed. I couldn't laugh with the Demon, and he cursed me because I couldn't laugh. Then the lynx that dwells forever in the tomb came out from it, lay down at the feet of the Demon, and looked steadily at him.

THE MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH.

The “Red Death” had long devastated the country. No pestilence had ever been so fatal, or so hideous. Blood was its Avatar and its seal—the redness and the horror of blood. There were sharp pains, and sudden dizziness, and then profuse bleeding at the pores, with dissolution. The scarlet stains upon the body and especially upon the face of the victim, were the pest ban which shut him out from the aid and from the sympathy of his fellow-men. And the whole seizure, progress and termination of the disease, were the incidents of half an hour.

The “Red Death” had long ravaged the country. No plague had ever been so deadly or so horrifying. Blood was its symbol and its mark—the redness and the terror of blood. There were intense pains, sudden dizziness, and then severe bleeding from the pores, leading to total collapse. The red stains on the body, especially on the victim's face, were the signs of the disease that cut them off from the help and compassion of others. The entire onset, progression, and end of the illness happened in just half an hour.

But the Prince Prospero was happy and dauntless and sagacious. When his dominions were half depopulated, he summoned to his presence a thousand hale and light-hearted friends from among the knights and dames of his court, and with these retired to the deep seclusion of one of his castellated abbeys. This was an extensive and magnificent structure, the creation of the prince’s own eccentric yet august taste. A strong and lofty wall girdled it in. This wall had gates of iron. The courtiers, having entered, brought furnaces and massy hammers and welded the bolts. They resolved to leave means neither of ingress or egress to the sudden impulses of despair or of frenzy from within. The abbey was amply provisioned. With such precautions the courtiers might bid defiance to contagion. The external world could take care of itself. In the meantime it was folly to grieve, or to think. The prince had provided all the appliances of pleasure. There were buffoons, there were improvisatori, there were ballet-dancers, there were musicians, there was Beauty, there was wine. All these and security were within. Without was the “Red Death.”

But Prince Prospero was happy, fearless, and wise. When his lands were mostly empty, he called together a thousand healthy and cheerful friends from among the knights and ladies of his court, and with them, he retreated to the deep secrecy of one of his grand castles. This was a large and impressive building, designed by the prince's own unique yet noble taste. A strong, tall wall surrounded it. This wall had iron gates. The courtiers, after entering, brought in furnaces and heavy hammers and welded the bolts shut. They decided to leave no way in or out for the sudden waves of despair or madness from inside. The abbey was well-stocked with supplies. With these precautions, the courtiers felt they could ignore the threat of disease. The outside world could fend for itself. In the meantime, it was pointless to mourn or worry. The prince had provided all the entertainment one could want. There were jesters, there were improvisers, there were ballet dancers, there were musicians, there was beauty, there was wine. All of these and safety were within. Outside was the “Red Death.”

It was toward the close of the fifth or sixth month of his seclusion, and while the pestilence raged most furiously abroad, that the Prince Prospero entertained his thousand friends at a masked ball of the most unusual magnificence.

It was near the end of the fifth or sixth month of his isolation, and while the plague was spreading violently outside, Prince Prospero was hosting a masked ball of extraordinary grandeur for his thousand friends.

It was a voluptuous scene, that masquerade. But first let me tell of the rooms in which it was held. There were seven—an imperial suite. In many palaces, however, such suites form a long and straight vista, while the folding doors slide back nearly to the walls on either hand, so that the view of the whole extent is scarcely impeded. Here the case was very different; as might have been expected from the duke’s love of the bizarre. The apartments were so irregularly disposed that the vision embraced but little more than one at a time. There was a sharp turn at every twenty or thirty yards, and at each turn a novel effect. To the right and left, in the middle of each wall, a tall and narrow Gothic window looked out upon a closed corridor which pursued the windings of the suite. These windows were of stained glass whose color varied in accordance with the prevailing hue of the decorations of the chamber into which it opened. That at the eastern extremity was hung, for example, in blue—and vividly blue were its windows. The second chamber was purple in its ornaments and tapestries, and here the panes were purple. The third was green throughout, and so were the casements. The fourth was furnished and lighted with orange—the fifth with white—the sixth with violet. The seventh apartment was closely shrouded in black velvet tapestries that hung all over the ceiling and down the walls, falling in heavy folds upon a carpet of the same material and hue. But in this chamber only, the color of the windows failed to correspond with the decorations. The panes here were scarlet—a deep blood color. Now in no one of the seven apartments was there any lamp or candelabrum, amid the profusion of golden ornaments that lay scattered to and fro or depended from the roof. There was no light of any kind emanating from lamp or candle within the suite of chambers. But in the corridors that followed the suite, there stood, opposite to each window, a heavy tripod, bearing a brazier of fire that projected its rays through the tinted glass and so glaringly illumined the room. And thus were produced a multitude of gaudy and fantastic appearances. But in the western or black chamber the effect of the fire-light that streamed upon the dark hangings through the blood-tinted panes, was ghastly in the extreme, and produced so wild a look upon the countenances of those who entered, that there were few of the company bold enough to set foot within its precincts at all.

It was a lavish scene, that masquerade. But first, let me describe the rooms where it took place. There were seven—an imperial suite. In many palaces, these suites create a long and straight line, while the folding doors slide back nearly to the walls on either side, allowing an unobstructed view of the entire space. Here it was quite different, as one might expect from the duke’s taste for the unusual. The rooms were arranged so irregularly that you could barely see more than one at a time. There was a sharp turn every twenty or thirty yards, and at each turn, a new effect was revealed. To the right and left, in the center of each wall, a tall and narrow Gothic window opened onto a closed corridor that followed the suite’s twists and turns. These windows were made of stained glass, and the color varied according to the dominant hue of the decor in the room it opened into. For example, the window at the eastern end was adorned in blue—and its glass was a vivid blue. The second room featured purple decorations and tapestries, and here the panes were also purple. The third room was entirely green, and so were the windows. The fourth was decorated and lit with orange, the fifth with white, and the sixth with violet. The seventh room was heavily draped in black velvet tapestries that hung from the ceiling and walls, cascading down in thick folds onto a carpet with the same material and color. But in this room alone, the window color did not match the decor. The panes were scarlet—a deep blood red. None of the seven chambers had lamps or candelabras amid the abundance of golden ornaments scattered about or hanging from the ceiling. There was no light whatsoever coming from lamps or candles inside the suite. However, in the corridors leading from the suite, heavy tripods stood opposite each window, holding a brazier of fire that cast its light through the tinted glass, illuminating the room in a striking way. This created a multitude of vibrant and fantastical appearances. But in the western or black chamber, the firelight streaming onto the dark drapes through the blood-tinted panes produced a ghastly effect, making the faces of those who entered look wild, so much so that few people in the company were brave enough to step inside at all.

It was in this apartment, also, that there stood against the western wall, a gigantic clock of ebony. Its pendulum swung to and fro with a dull, heavy, monotonous clang; and when the minute-hand made the circuit of the face, and the hour was to be stricken, there came from the brazen lungs of the clock a sound which was clear and loud and deep and exceedingly musical, but of so peculiar a note and emphasis that, at each lapse of an hour, the musicians of the orchestra were constrained to pause, momentarily, in their performance, to hearken to the sound; and thus the waltzers perforce ceased their evolutions; and there was a brief disconcert of the whole gay company; and, while the chimes of the clock yet rang, it was observed that the giddiest grew pale, and the more aged and sedate passed their hands over their brows as if in confused reverie or meditation. But when the echoes had fully ceased, a light laughter at once pervaded the assembly; the musicians looked at each other and smiled as if at their own nervousness and folly, and made whispering vows, each to the other, that the next chiming of the clock should produce in them no similar emotion; and then, after the lapse of sixty minutes (which embrace three thousand and six hundred seconds of the Time that flies), there came yet another chiming of the clock, and then were the same disconcert and tremulousness and meditation as before.

In this apartment, there stood against the western wall a massive ebony clock. Its pendulum swung back and forth with a dull, heavy, monotonous clang. When the minute hand completed its rotation and it was time for the hour to chime, a clear, loud, deep, and beautifully musical sound emerged from the clock’s brass mechanism. However, it had such a unique tone and emphasis that at every hour, the musicians of the orchestra had to pause momentarily in their performance to listen. Consequently, the dancers had to stop their movements, and there was a brief interruption among the entire lively crowd. While the clock’s chimes echoed, it was noticed that even the most carefree individuals turned pale, and the older, more serious guests ran their hands over their foreheads as if lost in thought or contemplation. But as the echoes faded away, light laughter spread through the group; the musicians exchanged glances and smiled, sharing a moment of amusement at their own nervousness and silliness. They made quiet promises to each other that the next chime wouldn’t evoke the same reaction. Then, after another sixty minutes (which equals three thousand six hundred seconds of time passing), the clock chimed again, bringing about the same disturbance, unease, and contemplation as before.

But, in spite of these things, it was a gay and magnificent revel. The tastes of the duke were peculiar. He had a fine eye for colors and effects. He disregarded the decora of mere fashion. His plans were bold and fiery, and his conceptions glowed with barbaric lustre. There are some who would have thought him mad. His followers felt that he was not. It was necessary to hear and see and touch him to be sure that he was not.

But despite all this, it was a lively and spectacular celebration. The duke had unique tastes. He had a great eye for colors and effects. He ignored the decoration of mere trends. His ideas were bold and intense, and his visions shone with a wild brilliance. Some might have thought he was crazy. His followers knew he wasn't. You had to hear, see, and touch him to truly believe that he wasn't.

He had directed, in great part, the moveable embellishments of the seven chambers, upon occasion of this great fête; and it was his own guiding taste which had given character to the masqueraders. Be sure they were grotesque. There were much glare and glitter and piquancy and phantasm—much of what has been since seen in “Hernani.” There were arabesque figures with unsuited limbs and appointments. There were delirious fancies such as the madman fashions. There was much of the beautiful, much of the wanton, much of the bizarre, something of the terrible, and not a little of that which might have excited disgust. To and fro in the seven chambers there stalked, in fact, a multitude of dreams. And these—the dreams—writhed in and about, taking hue from the rooms, and causing the wild music of the orchestra to seem as the echo of their steps. And, anon, there strikes the ebony clock which stands in the hall of the velvet. And then, for a moment, all is still, and all is silent save the voice of the clock. The dreams are stiff-frozen as they stand. But the echoes of the chime die away—they have endured but an instant—and a light, half-subdued laughter floats after them as they depart. And now again the music swells, and the dreams live, and writhe to and fro more merrily than ever, taking hue from the many-tinted windows through which stream the rays from the tripods. But to the chamber which lies most westwardly of the seven, there are now none of the maskers who venture; for the night is waning away; and there flows a ruddier light through the blood-colored panes; and the blackness of the sable drapery appals; and to him whose foot falls upon the sable carpet, there comes from the near clock of ebony a muffled peal more solemnly emphatic than any which reaches their ears who indulge in the more remote gaieties of the other apartments.

He had largely overseen the movable decorations of the seven rooms for this grand celebration; it was his unique taste that shaped the character of the masqueraders. They were definitely bizarre. There was a lot of flash and sparkle, spice, and fantasy—much like what has been seen in “Hernani.” There were intricate designs with mismatched limbs and accessories. There were wild ideas like those created by someone out of their mind. There was a lot of beauty, a lot of indulgence, a lot of the strange, some of the terrifying, and quite a bit of what might have stirred disgust. In fact, there wandered a multitude of dreams through the seven rooms. And these dreams twisted in and around, taking on the colors of the rooms and making the orchestra's wild music sound like an echo of their movements. Then, suddenly, the ebony clock in the velvet-hall strikes. For a moment, everything is quiet and still except for the sound of the clock. The dreams freeze in place. But the echoes of the chime fade away—they last only a moment—and a soft, half-suppressed laughter follows them as they leave. Again, the music rises, and the dreams come to life, writhing back and forth more joyfully than ever, taking color from the many-hued windows through which light pours from the tripods. But to the room farthest west of the seven, none of the maskers dare to go now; the night is fading, and a warmer light flows through the blood-red panes; the darkness of the black drapery is daunting; and for anyone whose foot steps on the black carpet, a grave sound comes from the nearby ebony clock, more solemn and significant than any that reaches the ears of those who are busy enjoying the livelier activities in the other rooms.

But these other apartments were densely crowded, and in them beat feverishly the heart of life. And the revel went whirlingly on, until at length there commenced the sounding of midnight upon the clock. And then the music ceased, as I have told; and the evolutions of the waltzers were quieted; and there was an uneasy cessation of all things as before. But now there were twelve strokes to be sounded by the bell of the clock; and thus it happened, perhaps, that more of thought crept, with more of time, into the meditations of the thoughtful among those who revelled. And thus, too, it happened, perhaps, that before the last echoes of the last chime had utterly sunk into silence, there were many individuals in the crowd who had found leisure to become aware of the presence of a masked figure which had arrested the attention of no single individual before. And the rumor of this new presence having spread itself whisperingly around, there arose at length from the whole company a buzz, or murmur, expressive of disapprobation and surprise—then, finally, of terror, of horror, and of disgust.

But these other apartments were packed, and in them pulsed the heart of life. The party continued to spin on until midnight struck the clock. Then the music stopped, as I mentioned; the dancers quieted down; and everything fell into an uneasy silence, just like before. But now the clock was about to chime twelve; and perhaps because of that, deeper thoughts crept in, along with the passing time, into the minds of the revelers. And so it happened, maybe, that before the last echoes of the final chime faded away, many people in the crowd noticed a masked figure that hadn't caught anyone's eye before. As the word of this new presence spread around, a buzz or murmur arose from the entire group, filled with disapproval and surprise—then ultimately, with fear, horror, and disgust.

In an assembly of phantasms such as I have painted, it may well be supposed that no ordinary appearance could have excited such sensation. In truth the masquerade license of the night was nearly unlimited; but the figure in question had out-Heroded Herod, and gone beyond the bounds of even the prince’s indefinite decorum. There are chords in the hearts of the most reckless which cannot be touched without emotion. Even with the utterly lost, to whom life and death are equally jests, there are matters of which no jest can be made. The whole company, indeed, seemed now deeply to feel that in the costume and bearing of the stranger neither wit nor propriety existed. The figure was tall and gaunt, and shrouded from head to foot in the habiliments of the grave. The mask which concealed the visage was made so nearly to resemble the countenance of a stiffened corpse that the closest scrutiny must have had difficulty in detecting the cheat. And yet all this might have been endured, if not approved, by the mad revellers around. But the mummer had gone so far as to assume the type of the Red Death. His vesture was dabbled in blood—and his broad brow, with all the features of the face, was besprinkled with the scarlet horror.

In a gathering of illusions like the one I’ve described, it’s easy to believe that no ordinary sight could stir such strong feelings. The freedom of the night allowed for almost anything; however, the figure in question had outdone even the most outrageous of characters, exceeding what was considered appropriate by even the prince’s loose standards. There are deep emotions in even the most reckless hearts that cannot be stirred without a reaction. Even those who are completely lost, who see both life and death as jokes, have certain things beyond jest. The entire group seemed to sense that in the stranger's costume and way of carrying themselves, there was neither humor nor decency. The figure was tall and thin, completely covered from head to toe in grave clothes. The mask that hid their face was crafted to look so much like a lifeless corpse that even the keenest observer would struggle to spot the deception. Still, all this might have been tolerated, if not welcomed, by the crazy revelers around. But the performer had taken it a step further by embodying the Red Death. His clothing was splattered with blood—and his broad forehead, along with all his facial features, was dusted with the shocking red of horror.

When the eyes of Prince Prospero fell upon this spectral image (which with a slow and solemn movement, as if more fully to sustain its role, stalked to and fro among the waltzers) he was seen to be convulsed, in the first moment with a strong shudder either of terror or distaste; but, in the next, his brow reddened with rage.

When Prince Prospero saw this ghostly figure (which moved slowly and seriously, as if to fully embrace its role, wandering among the dancers), he was initially shocked, shuddering in either fear or disgust; but then, his face turned red with anger.

“Who dares?” he demanded hoarsely of the courtiers who stood near him—“who dares insult us with this blasphemous mockery? Seize him and unmask him—that we may know whom we have to hang at sunrise, from the battlements!”

“Who dares?” he asked hoarsely of the courtiers nearby—“who dares to insult us with this blasphemous mockery? Grab him and take off his mask—so we can find out who we're going to hang at sunrise from the battlements!”

It was in the eastern or blue chamber in which stood the Prince Prospero as he uttered these words. They rang throughout the seven rooms loudly and clearly—for the prince was a bold and robust man, and the music had become hushed at the waving of his hand.

It was in the eastern or blue room where Prince Prospero stood as he said these words. They echoed through the seven rooms loudly and clearly—because the prince was a confident and strong man, and the music had quieted at the wave of his hand.

It was in the blue room where stood the prince, with a group of pale courtiers by his side. At first, as he spoke, there was a slight rushing movement of this group in the direction of the intruder, who at the moment was also near at hand, and now, with deliberate and stately step, made closer approach to the speaker. But from a certain nameless awe with which the mad assumptions of the mummer had inspired the whole party, there were found none who put forth hand to seize him; so that, unimpeded, he passed within a yard of the prince’s person; and, while the vast assembly, as if with one impulse, shrank from the centres of the rooms to the walls, he made his way uninterruptedly, but with the same solemn and measured step which had distinguished him from the first, through the blue chamber to the purple—through the purple to the green—through the green to the orange—through this again to the white—and even thence to the violet, ere a decided movement had been made to arrest him. It was then, however, that the Prince Prospero, maddening with rage and the shame of his own momentary cowardice, rushed hurriedly through the six chambers, while none followed him on account of a deadly terror that had seized upon all. He bore aloft a drawn dagger, and had approached, in rapid impetuosity, to within three or four feet of the retreating figure, when the latter, having attained the extremity of the velvet apartment, turned suddenly and confronted his pursuer. There was a sharp cry—and the dagger dropped gleaming upon the sable carpet, upon which, instantly afterwards, fell prostrate in death the Prince Prospero. Then, summoning the wild courage of despair, a throng of the revellers at once threw themselves into the black apartment, and, seizing the mummer, whose tall figure stood erect and motionless within the shadow of the ebony clock, gasped in unutterable horror at finding the grave-cerements and corpse-like mask which they handled with so violent a rudeness, untenanted by any tangible form.

It was in the blue room where the prince stood, surrounded by a group of pale courtiers. At first, as he spoke, there was a slight movement from this group toward the intruder, who was also close by and now approached the speaker with a deliberate and dignified stride. But due to a strange, unspoken fear that the crazy antics of the jester had instilled in everyone, no one reached out to stop him. Thus, unimpeded, he passed within a yard of the prince; and while the large crowd, as if on cue, shrank back from the center of the rooms to the walls, he made his way uninterrupted, still maintaining the same solemn and measured step that had set him apart from the beginning, moving from the blue chamber to the purple—then to the green—through the green to the orange—then to the white—and even on to the violet, before anyone made a decisive move to stop him. It was then that Prince Prospero, filled with rage and the embarrassment of his momentary cowardice, rushed through the six chambers, while no one followed him due to the paralyzing terror that had taken hold of them all. He brandished a drawn dagger and charged within three or four feet of the fleeing figure when the latter, reaching the edge of the velvet room, suddenly turned to face his pursuer. There was a sharp cry—and the dagger dropped, flashing on the black carpet, onto which, just afterward, the Prince Prospero fell dead. Then, mustering the wild courage of despair, a crowd of the partygoers flung themselves into the dark room, and, grabbing the jester, whose tall figure stood straight and still in the shadow of the ebony clock, gasped in horror at discovering the grave wraps and corpse-like mask they handled so roughly were empty of any physical presence.

And now was acknowledged the presence of the Red Death. He had come like a thief in the night. And one by one dropped the revellers in the blood-bedewed halls of their revel, and died each in the despairing posture of his fall. And the life of the ebony clock went out with that of the last of the gay. And the flames of the tripods expired. And Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all.

And now the presence of the Red Death was recognized. He had arrived like a thief in the night. One by one, the partygoers collapsed in the blood-soaked halls of their celebration, each dying in the despairing position of their fall. The life of the ebony clock ended with that of the last joyful person. The flames of the tripods went out. And Darkness, Decay, and the Red Death held limitless power over everything.

THE CASK OF AMONTILLADO.

The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could; but when he ventured upon insult, I vowed revenge. You, who so well know the nature of my soul, will not suppose, however, that I gave utterance to a threat. At length I would be avenged; this was a point definitively settled—but the very definitiveness with which it was resolved, precluded the idea of risk. I must not only punish, but punish with impunity. A wrong is unredressed when retribution overtakes its redresser. It is equally unredressed when the avenger fails to make himself felt as such to him who has done the wrong.

The thousand injuries from Fortunato I had endured as best as I could; but when he crossed the line into insults, I swore to get my revenge. You, who understand my nature so well, won’t think that I made an actual threat. I would eventually get my revenge; that was a decision I had firmly made—but the very firmness of that decision ruled out any idea of risk. I had to not only punish but do so without facing consequences. A wrong isn’t truly addressed when the person seeking justice is caught by it. It’s also not addressed when the one seeking vengeance doesn’t make their presence known to the one who committed the wrong.

It must be understood, that neither by word nor deed had I given Fortunato cause to doubt my good will. I continued, as was my wont, to smile in his face, and he did not perceive that my smile now was at the thought of his immolation.

It must be clear that I had not, through my words or actions, given Fortunato any reason to question my goodwill. I kept smiling at him, as I usually did, and he didn’t realize that my smile now was because I was thinking of his demise.

He had a weak point—this Fortunato—although in other regards he was a man to be respected and even feared. He prided himself on his connoisseurship in wine. Few Italians have the true virtuoso spirit. For the most part their enthusiasm is adopted to suit the time and opportunity—to practise imposture upon the British and Austrian millionaires. In painting and gemmary, Fortunato, like his countrymen, was a quack—but in the matter of old wines he was sincere. In this respect I did not differ from him materially: I was skilful in the Italian vintages myself, and bought largely whenever I could.

He had a weakness—this Fortunato—though in other ways he was a man to be respected and even feared. He took pride in his knowledge of wine. Few Italians possess the true virtuoso spirit. Most of their enthusiasm is adapted to fit the situation and ends up being a trick played on British and Austrian millionaires. In painting and jewelry, Fortunato, like his fellow countrymen, was a fraud—but when it came to old wines, he was genuine. In this regard, I wasn’t much different from him: I was skilled in Italian vintages myself and bought as much as I could.

It was about dusk, one evening during the supreme madness of the carnival season, that I encountered my friend. He accosted me with excessive warmth, for he had been drinking much. The man wore motley. He had on a tight-fitting parti-striped dress, and his head was surmounted by the conical cap and bells. I was so pleased to see him, that I thought I should never have done wringing his hand.

It was around dusk one evening during the height of carnival season when I ran into my friend. He greeted me with great enthusiasm since he had been drinking quite a bit. He was dressed in colorful attire, wearing a tight-fitting, striped outfit, with a conical hat adorned with bells. I was so happy to see him that I thought I could shake his hand forever.

I said to him: “My dear Fortunato, you are luckily met. How remarkably well you are looking to-day! But I have received a pipe of what passes for Amontillado, and I have my doubts.”

I said to him, “My dear Fortunato, what a pleasant surprise! You look fantastic today! But I've got a cask of what claims to be Amontillado, and I'm a bit unsure about it.”

“How?” said he. “Amontillado? A pipe? Impossible! And in the middle of the carnival!”

“How?” he said. “Amontillado? A keg? No way! And during the carnival!”

“I have my doubts,” I replied; “and I was silly enough to pay the full Amontillado price without consulting you in the matter. You were not to be found, and I was fearful of losing a bargain.”

“I have my doubts,” I replied; “and I was foolish enough to pay the full Amontillado price without checking with you first. You were unavailable, and I was afraid of missing out on a good deal.”

“Amontillado!”

“Amontillado!”

“I have my doubts.”

"I have my doubts."

“Amontillado!”

"Amontillado!"

“And I must satisfy them.”

“And I have to please them.”

“Amontillado!”

"Amontillado!"

“As you are engaged, I am on my way to Luchesi. If any one has a critical turn, it is he. He will tell me—”

“As you’re busy, I’m heading to Luchesi. If anyone has a discerning eye, it’s him. He’ll let me know—”

“Luchesi cannot tell Amontillado from Sherry.”

“Luchesi can't tell Amontillado from Sherry.”

“And yet some fools will have it that his taste is a match for your own.”

“And yet some fools will insist that his taste is just as good as yours.”

“Come, let us go.”

“Let’s go.”

“Whither?”

"Where to?"

“To your vaults.”

"To your vaults."

“My friend, no; I will not impose upon your good nature. I perceive you have an engagement. Luchesi—”

“My friend, no; I won’t take advantage of your kindness. I see you have plans. Luchesi—”

“I have no engagement;—come.”

"I'm free; come over."

“My friend, no. It is not the engagement, but the severe cold with which I perceive you are afflicted. The vaults are insufferably damp. They are encrusted with nitre.”

“My friend, no. It’s not the engagement, but the intense cold that I see you’re suffering from. The vaults are unbearably damp. They’re coated with saltpeter.”

“Let us go, nevertheless. The cold is merely nothing. Amontillado! You have been imposed upon. And as for Luchesi, he cannot distinguish Sherry from Amontillado.”

“Let's go anyway. The cold is nothing. Amontillado! You've been fooled. And as for Luchesi, he can't tell Sherry from Amontillado.”

Thus speaking, Fortunato possessed himself of my arm. Putting on a mask of black silk, and drawing a roquelaire closely about my person, I suffered him to hurry me to my palazzo.

Thus speaking, Fortunato took hold of my arm. Putting on a black silk mask and wrapping a cloak tightly around me, I allowed him to rush me to my palace.

There were no attendants at home; they had absconded to make merry in honor of the time. I had told them that I should not return until the morning, and had given them explicit orders not to stir from the house. These orders were sufficient, I well knew, to insure their immediate disappearance, one and all, as soon as my back was turned.

There were no staff at home; they had sneaked out to celebrate. I had told them I wouldn't be back until morning and had clearly instructed them not to leave the house. I knew very well that these instructions would guarantee their quick departure as soon as I was out of sight.

I took from their sconces two flambeaux, and giving one to Fortunato, bowed him through several suites of rooms to the archway that led into the vaults. I passed down a long and winding staircase, requesting him to be cautious as he followed. We came at length to the foot of the descent, and stood together on the damp ground of the catacombs of the Montresors.

I took two torches from their holders and gave one to Fortunato, guiding him through several rooms to the archway that led into the vaults. I went down a long, winding staircase, asking him to be careful as he followed. Finally, we reached the bottom of the stairs and stood together on the damp ground of the Montresor catacombs.

The gait of my friend was unsteady, and the bells upon his cap jingled as he strode.

My friend's walk was unsteady, and the bells on his hat jingled as he walked.

“The pipe,” said he.

“The pipe,” he said.

“It is farther on,” said I; “but observe the white web-work which gleams from these cavern walls.”

“It’s further ahead,” I said; “but look at the white web that shines on these cave walls.”

He turned towards me, and looked into my eyes with two filmy orbs that distilled the rheum of intoxication.

He turned to me and looked into my eyes with two glassy orbs filled with the haze of intoxication.

“Nitre?” he asked, at length.

"Nitre?" he asked finally.

“Nitre,” I replied. “How long have you had that cough?”

“Nitre,” I said. “How long have you had that cough?”

“Ugh! ugh! ugh!—ugh! ugh! ugh!—ugh! ugh! ugh!—ugh! ugh! ugh!—ugh! ugh! ugh!”

“Ugh! ugh! ugh!—ugh! ugh! ugh!—ugh! ugh! ugh!—ugh! ugh! ugh!—ugh! ugh! ugh!”

My poor friend found it impossible to reply for many minutes.

My poor friend couldn’t respond for several minutes.

“It is nothing,” he said, at last.

“It's fine,” he finally said.

“Come,” I said, with decision, “we will go back; your health is precious. You are rich, respected, admired, beloved; you are happy, as once I was. You are a man to be missed. For me it is no matter. We will go back; you will be ill, and I cannot be responsible. Besides, there is Luchesi—”

“Come,” I said firmly, “let's go back; your health is important. You’re wealthy, respected, admired, loved; you’re happy, just like I used to be. You’re someone who will be missed. It doesn’t matter to me. We’ll go back; you might get sick, and I can’t take that risk. Plus, there’s Luchesi—”

“Enough,” he said; “the cough is a mere nothing; it will not kill me. I shall not die of a cough.”

“Enough,” he said; “the cough is nothing; it won’t kill me. I’m not going to die from a cough.”

“True—true,” I replied; “and, indeed, I had no intention of alarming you unnecessarily—but you should use all proper caution. A draught of this Medoc will defend us from the damps.”

“True, true,” I replied; “and honestly, I didn't mean to alarm you unnecessarily—but you should be careful. A glass of this Medoc will protect us from the damp.”

Here I knocked off the neck of a bottle which I drew from a long row of its fellows that lay upon the mould.

Here I broke the neck of a bottle that I took from a long line of its companions lying on the ground.

“Drink,” I said, presenting him the wine.

“Drink,” I said, handing him the wine.

He raised it to his lips with a leer. He paused and nodded to me familiarly, while his bells jingled.

He lifted it to his lips with a grin. He paused and gave me a casual nod, while his bells jingled.

“I drink,” he said, “to the buried that repose around us.”

“I drink,” he said, “to those who are buried and rest around us.”

“And I to your long life.”

“And I to your long life.”

He again took my arm, and we proceeded.

He took my arm again, and we walked on.

“These vaults,” he said, “are extensive.”

“These vaults,” he said, “are really big.”

“The Montresors,” I replied, “were a great and numerous family.”

“The Montresors,” I replied, “were a large and well-known family.”

“I forget your arms.”

"I don’t remember your arms."

“A huge human foot d’or, in a field azure; the foot crushes a serpent rampant whose fangs are imbedded in the heel.”

“A massive golden foot on a blue background; the foot is crushing a snake that is rearing up with its fangs sunk into the heel.”

“And the motto?”

"What's the motto?"

Nemo me impune lacessit.”

“Nemo me impune lacessit.”

“Good!” he said.

“Awesome!” he said.

The wine sparkled in his eyes and the bells jingled. My own fancy grew warm with the Medoc. We had passed through walls of piled bones, with casks and puncheons intermingling, into the inmost recesses of the catacombs. I paused again, and this time I made bold to seize Fortunato by an arm above the elbow.

The wine sparkled in his eyes and the bells jingled. My own excitement grew warm with the Medoc. We had passed through walls of stacked bones, with casks and barrels mixed together, into the deepest part of the catacombs. I paused again, and this time I confidently grabbed Fortunato by the arm just above the elbow.

“The nitre!” I said: “see, it increases. It hangs like moss upon the vaults. We are below the river’s bed. The drops of moisture trickle among the bones. Come, we will go back ere it is too late. Your cough—”

“The nitre!” I said. “Look, it’s spreading. It clings to the walls like moss. We’re beneath the riverbed. The moisture drips down among the bones. Come on, let’s head back before it’s too late. Your cough—”

“It is nothing,” he said; “let us go on. But first, another draught of the Medoc.”

“It’s nothing,” he said; “let's keep going. But first, another drink of the Medoc.”

I broke and reached him a flagon of De Grâve. He emptied it at a breath. His eyes flashed with a fierce light. He laughed and threw the bottle upwards with a gesticulation I did not understand.

I broke the silence and handed him a flask of De Grâve. He downed it in one go. His eyes sparkled with an intense energy. He laughed and tossed the bottle up with a gesture I couldn't grasp.

I looked at him in surprise. He repeated the movement—a grotesque one.

I looked at him in shock. He repeated the gesture—it was a weird one.

“You do not comprehend?” he said.

"You don't get it?" he said.

“Not I,” I replied.

"Not me," I replied.

“Then you are not of the brotherhood.”

“Then you are not one of us.”

“How?”

“How?”

“You are not of the masons.”

“You're not one of the masons.”

“Yes, yes,” I said, “yes, yes.”

“Yes, yes,” I said, “yes, yes.”

“You? Impossible! A mason?”

"You? No way! A mason?"

“A mason,” I replied.

“A mason,” I said.

“A sign,” he said.

“A sign,” he said.

“It is this,” I answered, producing a trowel from beneath the folds of my roquelaire.

“It is this,” I replied, pulling out a trowel from under the folds of my roquelaire.

“You jest,” he exclaimed, recoiling a few paces. “But let us proceed to the Amontillado.”

“You're joking,” he said, stepping back a few paces. “But let's move on to the Amontillado.”

“Be it so,” I said, replacing the tool beneath the cloak, and again offering him my arm. He leaned upon it heavily. We continued our route in search of the Amontillado. We passed through a range of low arches, descended, passed on, and descending again, arrived at a deep crypt, in which the foulness of the air caused our flambeaux rather to glow than flame.

“Alright,” I said, putting the tool back under my cloak and offering him my arm again. He leaned on it heavily. We continued on our path to find the Amontillado. We went through a series of low arches, went down, moved on, and after going down again, reached a deep crypt, where the stench in the air made our torches glow instead of burn.

At the most remote end of the crypt there appeared another less spacious. Its walls had been lined with human remains, piled to the vault overhead, in the fashion of the great catacombs of Paris. Three sides of this interior crypt were still ornamented in this manner. From the fourth the bones had been thrown down, and lay promiscuously upon the earth, forming at one point a mound of some size. Within the wall thus exposed by the displacing of the bones, we perceived a still interior recess, in depth about four feet, in width three, in height six or seven. It seemed to have been constructed for no especial use in itself, but formed merely the interval between two of the colossal supports of the roof of the catacombs, and was backed by one of their circumscribing walls of solid granite.

At the furthest end of the crypt, there was another space that was smaller. Its walls were lined with human bones, stacked up to the ceiling, much like the famous catacombs in Paris. Three sides of this inner crypt were still decorated this way. On the fourth side, the bones had been scattered and lay haphazardly on the ground, creating a mound in one spot. Behind the wall revealed by the shifting bones, we noticed a small recess, about four feet deep, three feet wide, and six or seven feet high. It didn’t seem to serve any special purpose on its own; it was just the space between two of the massive supports of the catacomb's roof and was bordered by one of the surrounding walls of solid granite.

It was in vain that Fortunato, uplifting his dull torch, endeavored to pry into the depths of the recess. Its termination the feeble light did not enable us to see.

It was pointless for Fortunato, raising his dim torch, to try to look into the depths of the recess. The weak light didn’t allow us to see how far it went.

“Proceed,” I said; “herein is the Amontillado. As for Luchesi—”

“Go ahead,” I said; “here is the Amontillado. As for Luchesi—”

“He is an ignoramus,” interrupted my friend, as he stepped unsteadily forward, while I followed immediately at his heels. In an instant he had reached the extremity of the niche, and finding his progress arrested by the rock, stood stupidly bewildered. A moment more and I had fettered him to the granite. In its surface were two iron staples, distant from each other about two feet, horizontally. From one of these depended a short chain, from the other a padlock. Throwing the links about his waist, it was but the work of a few seconds to secure it. He was too much astounded to resist. Withdrawing the key I stepped back from the recess.

“He's an idiot,” my friend interrupted, as he stumbled forward, and I quickly followed him. In no time, he reached the end of the niche, and when he found the rock blocking his way, he looked completely confused. A moment later, I had him chained to the granite. There were two iron staples in the surface, about two feet apart, horizontally. A short chain hung from one and a padlock from the other. Wrapping the chain around his waist, it took just a few seconds to lock it. He was too stunned to fight back. Withdrawing the key, I stepped back from the recess.

“Pass your hand,” I said, “over the wall; you cannot help feeling the nitre. Indeed it is very damp. Once more let me implore you to return. No? Then I must positively leave you. But I must first render you all the little attentions in my power.”

“Run your hand,” I said, “along the wall; you can’t help but feel the dampness. It’s really very wet. Please, I’m asking you one more time to come back. No? Then I really have to go. But first, I need to do all the small things I can for you.”

“The Amontillado!” ejaculated my friend, not yet recovered from his astonishment.

“The Amontillado!” my friend exclaimed, still in shock.

“True,” I replied; “the Amontillado.”

“True,” I replied; “the Amontillado.”

As I said these words I busied myself among the pile of bones of which I have before spoken. Throwing them aside, I soon uncovered a quantity of building stone and mortar. With these materials and with the aid of my trowel, I began vigorously to wall up the entrance of the niche.

As I said these words, I kept myself busy among the pile of bones I mentioned earlier. After pushing them aside, I quickly found a bunch of building stones and some mortar. Using these materials and my trowel, I started to energetically seal up the entrance of the niche.

I had scarcely laid the first tier of my masonry when I discovered that the intoxication of Fortunato had in a great measure worn off. The earliest indication I had of this was a low moaning cry from the depth of the recess. It was not the cry of a drunken man. There was then a long and obstinate silence. I laid the second tier, and the third, and the fourth; and then I heard the furious vibrations of the chain. The noise lasted for several minutes, during which, that I might hearken to it with the more satisfaction, I ceased my labors and sat down upon the bones. When at last the clanking subsided, I resumed the trowel, and finished without interruption the fifth, the sixth, and the seventh tier. The wall was now nearly upon a level with my breast. I again paused, and holding the flambeaux over the mason-work, threw a few feeble rays upon the figure within.

I had barely started the first layer of my brickwork when I realized that Fortunato’s drunkenness had mostly worn off. The first sign I noticed was a soft, moaning sound coming from the back of the recess. It was not the sound of a drunk man. Then there was a long, stubborn silence. I laid the second layer, then the third and the fourth; and then I heard the angry rattling of the chain. The noise went on for several minutes, during which I stopped to listen more closely, sitting down on the bones. When the clanking finally died down, I picked up the trowel again and finished the fifth, sixth, and seventh layers without interruption. The wall was now almost at chest height. I paused once more, holding the torch above the brickwork, and cast a few dim rays onto the figure inside.

A succession of loud and shrill screams, bursting suddenly from the throat of the chained form, seemed to thrust me violently back. For a brief moment I hesitated—I trembled. Unsheathing my rapier, I began to grope with it about the recess; but the thought of an instant reassured me. I placed my hand upon the solid fabric of the catacombs, and felt satisfied. I reapproached the wall. I replied to the yells of him who clamored. I re-echoed—I aided—I surpassed them in volume and in strength. I did this, and the clamorer grew still.

A series of loud, shrill screams suddenly erupted from the chained figure, pushing me back violently. For a moment, I hesitated—I trembled. Drawing my rapier, I started to feel around the alcove with it; but a quick thought calmed me. I placed my hand on the solid structure of the catacombs and felt reassured. I went back to the wall. I responded to the screams of the person shouting. I echoed—I matched—I even surpassed their volume and intensity. I did this, and the person yelling fell silent.

It was now midnight, and my task was drawing to a close. I had completed the eighth, the ninth, and the tenth tier. I had finished a portion of the last and the eleventh; there remained but a single stone to be fitted and plastered in. I struggled with its weight; I placed it partially in its destined position. But now there came from out the niche a low laugh that erected the hairs upon my head. It was succeeded by a sad voice, which I had difficulty in recognising as that of the noble Fortunato. The voice said—

It was now midnight, and my task was almost finished. I had completed the eighth, ninth, and tenth tiers. I had done part of the last and the eleventh; only one stone was left to fit and plaster in. I struggled with its weight and placed it partially in its intended position. But then, a low laugh came from the niche, raising the hairs on my neck. It was followed by a sorrowful voice, which I struggled to recognize as that of the noble Fortunato. The voice said—

“Ha! ha! ha!—he! he!—a very good joke indeed—an excellent jest. We will have many a rich laugh about it at the palazzo—he! he! he!—over our wine—he! he! he!”

“Ha! Ha! Ha! — He! He! — That was a really good joke — an excellent one. We’ll have a lot of fun laughing about it at the palazzo — He! He! He! — over our wine — He! He! He!”

“The Amontillado!” I said.

“The Amontillado!” I exclaimed.

“He! he! he!—he! he! he!—yes, the Amontillado. But is it not getting late? Will not they be awaiting us at the palazzo, the Lady Fortunato and the rest? Let us be gone.”

“He! he! he!—he! he! he!—yes, the Amontillado. But isn’t it getting late? Won’t they be waiting for us at the palazzo, Lady Fortunato and the others? Let’s get going.”

“Yes,” I said, “let us be gone.”

“Yes,” I said, “let's get out of here.”

For the love of God, Montressor!

For the love of God, Montressor!

“Yes,” I said, “for the love of God!”

“Yes,” I said, “for the love of God!”

But to these words I hearkened in vain for a reply. I grew impatient. I called aloud—

But I listened in vain for a reply to those words. I became impatient. I shouted—

“Fortunato!”

"Fortunato!"

No answer. I called again—

No response. I called again—

“Fortunato!”

“Fortunato!”

No answer still. I thrust a torch through the remaining aperture and let it fall within. There came forth in return only a jingling of the bells. My heart grew sick—on account of the dampness of the catacombs. I hastened to make an end of my labor. I forced the last stone into its position; I plastered it up. Against the new masonry I re-erected the old rampart of bones. For the half of a century no mortal has disturbed them. In pace requiescat!

No answer yet. I pushed a torch through the last opening and let it drop inside. All I heard in response was the jingling of the bells. My heart sank—because of the dampness in the catacombs. I rushed to finish my work. I pushed the last stone into place and sealed it up. Against the new wall, I rebuilt the old barrier of bones. For half a century, no one has disturbed them. In pace requiescat!

THE IMP OF THE PERVERSE

In the consideration of the faculties and impulses—of the prima mobilia of the human soul, the phrenologists have failed to make room for a propensity which, although obviously existing as a radical, primitive, irreducible sentiment, has been equally overlooked by all the moralists who have preceded them. In the pure arrogance of the reason, we have all overlooked it. We have suffered its existence to escape our senses, solely through want of belief—of faith;—whether it be faith in Revelation, or faith in the Kabbala. The idea of it has never occurred to us, simply because of its supererogation. We saw no need of the impulse—for the propensity. We could not perceive its necessity. We could not understand, that is to say, we could not have understood, had the notion of this primum mobile ever obtruded itself;—we could not have understood in what manner it might be made to further the objects of humanity, either temporal or eternal. It cannot be denied that phrenology and, in great measure, all metaphysicianism have been concocted a priori. The intellectual or logical man, rather than the understanding or observant man, set himself to imagine designs—to dictate purposes to God. Having thus fathomed, to his satisfaction, the intentions of Jehovah, out of these intentions he built his innumerable systems of mind. In the matter of phrenology, for example, we first determined, naturally enough, that it was the design of the Deity that man should eat. We then assigned to man an organ of alimentiveness, and this organ is the scourge with which the Deity compels man, will-I nill-I, into eating. Secondly, having settled it to be God’s will that man should continue his species, we discovered an organ of amativeness, forthwith. And so with combativeness, with ideality, with causality, with constructiveness,—so, in short, with every organ, whether representing a propensity, a moral sentiment, or a faculty of the pure intellect. And in these arrangements of the Principia of human action, the Spurzheimites, whether right or wrong, in part, or upon the whole, have but followed, in principle, the footsteps of their predecessors; deducing and establishing every thing from the preconceived destiny of man, and upon the ground of the objects of his Creator.

When considering the faculties and impulses—the driving forces of the human soul, phrenologists have overlooked a tendency that, while clearly a basic and essential sentiment, has also been ignored by all the moralists before them. In our sheer arrogance, we've all missed it. We've allowed its existence to slip past our awareness, simply due to a lack of belief—of faith; whether that be faith in Revelation or faith in the Kabbala. The thought of it has never crossed our minds, merely because it seemed unnecessary. We saw no need for this impulse—the tendency. We couldn't recognize its necessity. We couldn’t understand, or rather, we wouldn’t have understood if the idea of this primary force had ever made itself known; we couldn’t have grasped how it could serve the needs of humanity, whether in this life or the next. It’s undeniable that phrenology, much like much of metaphysics, has been conceived a priori. The intellectual or rational person, rather than the perceptive or observant one, attempted to imagine designs—to dictate purposes to God. Having thereby grasped, to his own satisfaction, the intentions of God, he constructed countless systems of thought from these intentions. In the case of phrenology, for instance, we initially concluded, quite naturally, that it was God’s design for humans to eat. We then assigned to humans an organ for eating, which is the tool by which God compels people, willingly or unwillingly, to eat. Secondly, having determined that it was God’s will for humans to procreate, we swiftly identified an organ of love. The same process applied to aggression, idealism, causality, constructiveness—essentially, to every organ, whether linked to a tendency, a moral sentiment, or a pure intellectual faculty. In these frameworks of the principles of human behavior, the Spurzheimites, whether partially or completely correct, have largely followed in the footsteps of their predecessors; deriving and establishing everything from the preconceived fate of humanity, based on the intentions of its Creator.

It would have been wiser, it would have been safer, to classify (if classify we must) upon the basis of what man usually or occasionally did, and was always occasionally doing, rather than upon the basis of what we took it for granted the Deity intended him to do. If we cannot comprehend God in his visible works, how then in his inconceivable thoughts, that call the works into being? If we cannot understand him in his objective creatures, how then in his substantive moods and phases of creation?

It would have been smarter and safer to categorize (if we must categorize) based on what people generally or sometimes did, and were always sometimes doing, rather than what we assumed the Creator wanted them to do. If we can't grasp God through his visible creations, how can we understand him in his unimaginable thoughts that bring those creations to life? If we can't comprehend him in his tangible creations, how can we understand his essential moods and phases of creation?

Induction, a posteriori, would have brought phrenology to admit, as an innate and primitive principle of human action, a paradoxical something, which we may call perverseness, for want of a more characteristic term. In the sense I intend, it is, in fact, a mobile without motive, a motive not motivirt. Through its promptings we act without comprehensible object; or, if this shall be understood as a contradiction in terms, we may so far modify the proposition as to say, that through its promptings we act, for the reason that we should not. In theory, no reason can be more unreasonable, but, in fact, there is none more strong. With certain minds, under certain conditions, it becomes absolutely irresistible. I am not more certain that I breathe, than that the assurance of the wrong or error of any action is often the one unconquerable force which impels us, and alone impels us to its prosecution. Nor will this overwhelming tendency to do wrong for the wrong’s sake, admit of analysis, or resolution into ulterior elements. It is a radical, a primitive impulse—elementary. It will be said, I am aware, that when we persist in acts because we feel we should not persist in them, our conduct is but a modification of that which ordinarily springs from the combativeness of phrenology. But a glance will show the fallacy of this idea. The phrenological combativeness has for its essence, the necessity of self-defence. It is our safeguard against injury. Its principle regards our well-being; and thus the desire to be well is excited simultaneously with its development. It follows, that the desire to be well must be excited simultaneously with any principle which shall be merely a modification of combativeness, but in the case of that something which I term perverseness, the desire to be well is not only not aroused, but a strongly antagonistical sentiment exists.

Induction, a posteriori, would lead phrenology to recognize, as an innate and basic principle of human behavior, a contradictory something that we can call perverseness, because we lack a more specific term. In the sense I mean, it is essentially a mobile without motive, a motive that is not motivirt. Through its influences, we act without a clear reason; or, if that seems contradictory, we could rephrase it to say that through its influences we act because we should not. In theory, no reason could be more unreasonable, but, in reality, there's none more powerful. With certain minds, under certain conditions, it becomes completely irresistible. I'm as certain that I breathe as I am that the understanding that any action is wrong or erroneous is often the one unstoppable force that drives us, and solely drives us to continue. This overwhelming impulse to do wrong for the sake of doing wrong cannot be analyzed or broken down into further elements. It is a fundamental, primitive impulse—elementary. I know some might argue that when we continue with actions because we feel we shouldn’t, our behavior is simply a variation of what typically stems from the combativeness in phrenology. But a quick look will reveal the flaw in this notion. The essence of phrenological combativeness is the need for self-defense. It serves as our protection against harm. Its principle is about our well-being; thus, the desire to be okay is aroused alongside its emergence. It follows that the desire to be okay must be stimulated alongside any principle that is merely a variation of combativeness, but in the case of this thing I call perverseness, the desire to be well is not only not stirred, but a strong opposing sentiment exists.

An appeal to one’s own heart is, after all, the best reply to the sophistry just noticed. No one who trustingly consults and thoroughly questions his own soul, will be disposed to deny the entire radicalness of the propensity in question. It is not more incomprehensible than distinctive. There lives no man who at some period has not been tormented, for example, by an earnest desire to tantalize a listener by circumlocution. The speaker is aware that he displeases; he has every intention to please, he is usually curt, precise, and clear; the most laconic and luminous language is struggling for utterance upon his tongue; it is only with difficulty that he restrains himself from giving it flow; he dreads and deprecates the anger of him whom he addresses; yet, the thought strikes him, that by certain involutions and parentheses this anger may be engendered. That single thought is enough. The impulse increases to a wish, the wish to a desire, the desire to an uncontrollable longing, and the longing (to the deep regret and mortification of the speaker, and in defiance of all consequences) is indulged.

Appealing to your own heart is, ultimately, the best response to the previously mentioned argument. No one who sincerely seeks guidance from and questions their own soul will be inclined to reject the complete nature of the urge in question. It’s not any more mysterious than it is unique. There is no person who hasn’t, at some point, been plagued by a genuine desire to tease a listener with indirectness. The speaker knows that he is irritating; he wants to please, is often brief, straightforward, and clear; the most concise and illuminating words are eager to be spoken, yet he struggles to hold them back; he fears and disapproves of the anger of the person he’s addressing; still, the idea crosses his mind that he might provoke this anger through certain twists and turns in his speech. That single thought is enough. The impulse grows into a wish, the wish turns into a desire, the desire becomes an uncontrollable longing, and the longing (to the deep regret and embarrassment of the speaker, and regardless of any consequences) is satisfied.

We have a task before us which must be speedily performed. We know that it will be ruinous to make delay. The most important crisis of our life calls, trumpet-tongued, for immediate energy and action. We glow, we are consumed with eagerness to commence the work, with the anticipation of whose glorious result our whole souls are on fire. It must, it shall be undertaken to-day, and yet we put it off until to-morrow; and why? There is no answer, except that we feel perverse, using the word with no comprehension of the principle. To-morrow arrives, and with it a more impatient anxiety to do our duty, but with this very increase of anxiety arrives, also, a nameless, a positively fearful, because unfathomable, craving for delay. This craving gathers strength as the moments fly. The last hour for action is at hand. We tremble with the violence of the conflict within us,—of the definite with the indefinite—of the substance with the shadow. But, if the contest have proceeded thus far, it is the shadow which prevails,—we struggle in vain. The clock strikes, and is the knell of our welfare. At the same time, it is the chanticleer-note to the ghost that has so long overawed us. It flies—it disappears—we are free. The old energy returns. We will labor now. Alas, it is too late!

We have a task ahead of us that needs to be done quickly. We know that waiting will only lead to disaster. The most significant moment of our lives is calling out for immediate energy and action. We’re excited, consumed with eagerness to start the work, anticipating the glorious outcome that ignites our whole being. It has to be tackled today, yet we keep pushing it off until tomorrow; and why? There’s no real answer, except that we feel stubborn, using the term without fully understanding the idea. Tomorrow comes, bringing with it an even greater urgency to fulfill our responsibility, but alongside this increased anxiety, there’s an indescribable, almost terrifying desire for delay. This craving builds as time passes. The final hour for action is approaching. We’re shaking with the intensity of the struggle inside us—between the definite and the vague, between reality and illusion. But, if the battle has reached this point, the illusion wins—we fight in vain. The clock strikes, marking the end of our well-being. At the same time, it’s the call to the fear that has loomed over us for so long. It flies away—it disappears—we are free. The old energy returns. We want to work now. Alas, it’s too late!

We stand upon the brink of a precipice. We peer into the abyss—we grow sick and dizzy. Our first impulse is to shrink from the danger. Unaccountably we remain. By slow degrees our sickness and dizziness and horror become merged in a cloud of unnamable feeling. By gradations, still more imperceptible, this cloud assumes shape, as did the vapor from the bottle out of which arose the genius in the Arabian Nights. But out of this our cloud upon the precipice’s edge, there grows into palpability, a shape, far more terrible than any genius or any demon of a tale, and yet it is but a thought, although a fearful one, and one which chills the very marrow of our bones with the fierceness of the delight of its horror. It is merely the idea of what would be our sensations during the sweeping precipitancy of a fall from such a height. And this fall—this rushing annihilation—for the very reason that it involves that one most ghastly and loathsome of all the most ghastly and loathsome images of death and suffering which have ever presented themselves to our imagination—for this very cause do we now the most vividly desire it. And because our reason violently deters us from the brink, therefore do we the most impetuously approach it. There is no passion in nature so demoniacally impatient, as that of him who, shuddering upon the edge of a precipice, thus meditates a plunge. To indulge, for a moment, in any attempt at thought, is to be inevitably lost; for reflection but urges us to forbear, and therefore it is, I say, that we cannot. If there be no friendly arm to check us, or if we fail in a sudden effort to prostrate ourselves backward from the abyss, we plunge, and are destroyed.

We stand at the edge of a cliff. We look into the void—we feel nauseous and dizzy. Our first instinct is to pull back from the danger. Yet, for some reason, we stay. Gradually, our nausea, dizziness, and horror blend into a fog of indescribable feelings. Bit by bit, this fog takes shape, like the mist that rose from the bottle that released the spirit in the Arabian Nights. But from this cloud at the edge of the cliff, something emerges, far more frightening than any spirit or demon from a story, though it’s just a thought, a chilling one that sends shivers down our spine with the intensity of its horror. It’s simply the idea of what our feelings would be during the terrifying fall from such a height. And this fall—this rush toward oblivion—because it embodies the most dreadful and repulsive images of death and suffering our imagination has ever conjured—this is precisely why we crave it the most vividly. Because our reason urgently pulls us away from the edge, we find ourselves drawn to it even more fiercely. There’s no emotion in nature as impatiently maddening as the one who, trembling on the edge of a cliff, considers a leap. To allow ourselves even a moment of thought is to be inevitably lost; reflection only urges us to hold back, and that’s why we're unable to resist. If there’s no friendly hand to stop us, or if we fail in our sudden attempt to throw ourselves back from the edge, we plunge down and meet our end.

Examine these similar actions as we will, we shall find them resulting solely from the spirit of the Perverse. We perpetrate them because we feel that we should not. Beyond or behind this there is no intelligible principle; and we might, indeed, deem this perverseness a direct instigation of the Arch-Fiend, were it not occasionally known to operate in furtherance of good.

Looking at these similar actions, we’ll see they come solely from a perverse spirit. We do them because we know we shouldn’t. There’s no clear principle behind this, and we might even think this perverse urge is a direct influence of the Arch-Fiend if it didn’t sometimes lead to good outcomes.

I have said thus much, that in some measure I may answer your question—that I may explain to you why I am here—that I may assign to you something that shall have at least the faint aspect of a cause for my wearing these fetters, and for my tenanting this cell of the condemned. Had I not been thus prolix, you might either have misunderstood me altogether, or, with the rabble, have fancied me mad. As it is, you will easily perceive that I am one of the many uncounted victims of the Imp of the Perverse.

I've said all this to give you a bit of an answer to your question—so I can explain why I'm here—so I can give you something that looks at least a little like a reason for why I'm in these chains and stuck in this condemned cell. If I hadn’t elaborated, you might have completely misunderstood me, or, like the crowd, thought I was crazy. As it stands, you'll easily see that I'm just one of the countless victims of the Imp of the Perverse.

It is impossible that any deed could have been wrought with a more thorough deliberation. For weeks, for months, I pondered upon the means of the murder. I rejected a thousand schemes, because their accomplishment involved a chance of detection. At length, in reading some French memoirs, I found an account of a nearly fatal illness that occurred to Madame Pilau, through the agency of a candle accidentally poisoned. The idea struck my fancy at once. I knew my victim’s habit of reading in bed. I knew, too, that his apartment was narrow and ill-ventilated. But I need not vex you with impertinent details. I need not describe the easy artifices by which I substituted, in his bed-room candle-stand, a wax-light of my own making for the one which I there found. The next morning he was discovered dead in his bed, and the coroner’s verdict was—“Death by the visitation of God.”

It’s impossible that any action could have been carried out with more careful thought. For weeks, for months, I thought about how to commit the murder. I dismissed a thousand plans because they had a risk of being discovered. Eventually, while reading some French memoirs, I came across a story about a nearly fatal illness that befell Madame Pilau, caused by a candle that was accidentally poisoned. The idea instantly intrigued me. I knew my target's habit of reading in bed. I also knew that his apartment was small and poorly ventilated. But I shouldn’t bother you with unnecessary details. I won't describe the simple tricks I used to swap out the candle on his bedroom nightstand for one I had made myself. The next morning, he was found dead in his bed, and the coroner’s verdict was—“Death by the visitation of God.”

Having inherited his estate, all went well with me for years. The idea of detection never once entered my brain. Of the remains of the fatal taper I had myself carefully disposed. I had left no shadow of a clew by which it would be possible to convict, or even to suspect me of the crime. It is inconceivable how rich a sentiment of satisfaction arose in my bosom as I reflected upon my absolute security. For a very long period of time I was accustomed to revel in this sentiment. It afforded me more real delight than all the mere worldly advantages accruing from my sin. But there arrived at length an epoch, from which the pleasurable feeling grew, by scarcely perceptible gradations, into a haunting and harassing thought. It harassed because it haunted. I could scarcely get rid of it for an instant. It is quite a common thing to be thus annoyed with the ringing in our ears, or rather in our memories, of the burthen of some ordinary song, or some unimpressive snatches from an opera. Nor will we be the less tormented if the song in itself be good, or the opera air meritorious. In this manner, at last, I would perpetually catch myself pondering upon my security, and repeating, in a low undertone, the phrase, “I am safe.”

After inheriting his estate, everything went smoothly for me for years. The thought of getting caught never crossed my mind. I had carefully disposed of the remnants of the fatal candle myself. I left no trace that could possibly convict or even make anyone suspect me of the crime. It's hard to describe the deep sense of satisfaction that filled me as I considered my complete security. For a long time, I enjoyed this feeling, finding more genuine pleasure in it than in all the material advantages that came from my wrongdoing. But eventually, there came a point when that pleasurable feeling gradually transformed into a constant and nagging thought. It was bothersome because it wouldn't leave me alone. I could hardly escape it for a moment. It's quite common to be annoyed by a catchy tune stuck in our heads, whether it’s a simple song or an unremarkable piece from an opera. We won’t be any less troubled, even if the song is good or the opera is notable. Similarly, I found myself endlessly reflecting on my security, quietly repeating the words, “I am safe.”

One day, whilst sauntering along the streets, I arrested myself in the act of murmuring, half aloud, these customary syllables. In a fit of petulance, I remodelled them thus: “I am safe—I am safe—yes—if I be not fool enough to make open confession!”

One day, while strolling down the streets, I caught myself softly mumbling these familiar words. In a moment of irritation, I changed them to: “I’m safe—I’m safe—yeah—if I’m not foolish enough to admit it out loud!”

No sooner had I spoken these words, than I felt an icy chill creep to my heart. I had had some experience in these fits of perversity (whose nature I have been at some trouble to explain), and I remembered well that in no instance I had successfully resisted their attacks. And now my own casual self-suggestion that I might possibly be fool enough to confess the murder of which I had been guilty, confronted me, as if the very ghost of him whom I had murdered—and beckoned me on to death.

No sooner had I said those words than I felt a chilling fear grip my heart. I had some experience with these spells of madness (which I've tried to explain before), and I remembered that I had never successfully fought them off. Now, my own careless thought that I might be stupid enough to confess to the murder I committed faced me, as if the ghost of the person I had killed was urging me toward my own doom.

At first, I made an effort to shake off this nightmare of the soul. I walked vigorously—faster—still faster—at length I ran. I felt a maddening desire to shriek aloud. Every succeeding wave of thought overwhelmed me with new terror, for, alas! I well, too well understood that to think, in my situation, was to be lost. I still quickened my pace. I bounded like a madman through the crowded thoroughfares. At length, the populace took the alarm, and pursued me. I felt then the consummation of my fate. Could I have torn out my tongue, I would have done it, but a rough voice resounded in my ears—a rougher grasp seized me by the shoulder. I turned—I gasped for breath. For a moment I experienced all the pangs of suffocation; I became blind, and deaf, and giddy; and then some invisible fiend, I thought, struck me with his broad palm upon the back. The long imprisoned secret burst forth from my soul.

At first, I tried to shake off this soul-crushing nightmare. I walked fast—faster—then I started running. I felt an overwhelming urge to scream. Each new wave of thoughts hit me with fresh terror because, unfortunately! I knew all too well that thinking in my situation meant I was doomed. I kept speeding up. I dashed like a madman through the crowded streets. Eventually, the crowd noticed and chased after me. At that moment, I felt the weight of my fate. If I could have ripped out my tongue, I would have, but a rough voice echoed in my ears—and a stronger grip caught me by the shoulder. I turned around, gasping for air. For a moment, I felt all the struggles of suffocation; I went blind, deaf, and dizzy; then some invisible force, or so I thought, slapped me hard on the back. The long-held secret burst forth from my soul.

They say that I spoke with a distinct enunciation, but with marked emphasis and passionate hurry, as if in dread of interruption before concluding the brief but pregnant sentences that consigned me to the hangman and to hell.

They say I spoke clearly, but with strong emphasis and fast urgency, as if I was afraid of being interrupted before finishing the short but significant sentences that sentenced me to the hangman and to hell.

Having related all that was necessary for the fullest judicial conviction, I fell prostrate in a swoon.

Having shared everything necessary for a complete legal conviction, I collapsed in a faint.

But why shall I say more? To-day I wear these chains, and am here! To-morrow I shall be fetterless!—but where?

But why should I say more? Today I wear these chains, and am here! Tomorrow I will be free!—but where?

THE ISLAND OF THE FAY

Nullus enim locus sine genio est.—Servius.

Nullus enim locus sine genio est.—Servius.

“La musique,” says Marmontel, in those “Contes Moraux” (*1) which in all our translations, we have insisted upon calling “Moral Tales,” as if in mockery of their spirit—“la musique est le seul des talents qui jouissent de lui-même; tous les autres veulent des temoins.” He here confounds the pleasure derivable from sweet sounds with the capacity for creating them. No more than any other talent, is that for music susceptible of complete enjoyment, where there is no second party to appreciate its exercise. And it is only in common with other talents that it produces effects which may be fully enjoyed in solitude. The idea which the raconteur has either failed to entertain clearly, or has sacrificed in its expression to his national love of point, is, doubtless, the very tenable one that the higher order of music is the most thoroughly estimated when we are exclusively alone. The proposition, in this form, will be admitted at once by those who love the lyre for its own sake, and for its spiritual uses. But there is one pleasure still within the reach of fallen mortality and perhaps only one—which owes even more than does music to the accessory sentiment of seclusion. I mean the happiness experienced in the contemplation of natural scenery. In truth, the man who would behold aright the glory of God upon earth must in solitude behold that glory. To me, at least, the presence—not of human life only, but of life in any other form than that of the green things which grow upon the soil and are voiceless—is a stain upon the landscape—is at war with the genius of the scene. I love, indeed, to regard the dark valleys, and the gray rocks, and the waters that silently smile, and the forests that sigh in uneasy slumbers, and the proud watchful mountains that look down upon all,—I love to regard these as themselves but the colossal members of one vast animate and sentient whole—a whole whose form (that of the sphere) is the most perfect and most inclusive of all; whose path is among associate planets; whose meek handmaiden is the moon, whose mediate sovereign is the sun; whose life is eternity, whose thought is that of a God; whose enjoyment is knowledge; whose destinies are lost in immensity, whose cognizance of ourselves is akin with our own cognizance of the animalculae which infest the brain—a being which we, in consequence, regard as purely inanimate and material much in the same manner as these animalculae must thus regard us.

“Music,” says Marmontel, in those “Contes Moraux” (*1) which we have insisted on translating as “Moral Tales,” as if to mock their spirit—“music is the only talent that enjoys itself; all others require witnesses.” Here, he confuses the pleasure derived from sweet sounds with the ability to create them. Like any other talent, the enjoyment of music isn't complete without someone else to appreciate it. It only produces effects that can be fully enjoyed alone in the same way as other talents. The idea that he either fails to clarify or has sacrificed for the sake of cleverness is likely the reasonable point that the deeper appreciation of music happens when we are completely alone. This proposition will be immediately accepted by those who love the lyre for its own sake and for its spiritual purposes. However, there is one pleasure still accessible to us, and perhaps only one, which relies even more on the sentiment of solitude than music does. I mean the happiness found in contemplating natural scenery. In reality, anyone who wishes to truly see the glory of God on earth must do so in solitude. For me, at least, the presence—not just of human life, but of any life other than the green plants growing from the soil that are silent—is a blemish on the landscape; it clashes with the essence of the scene. I genuinely love to observe the dark valleys, the gray rocks, the waters that smile silently, the forests that sigh in restless slumber, and the proud, watchful mountains that look down upon everything—I love to see these as colossal parts of one vast, living, and aware whole—a whole whose shape (the sphere) is the most perfect and all-encompassing; whose path lies among companion planets; whose humble handmaiden is the moon, whose mediating sovereign is the sun; whose life is eternity, whose thought is that of a God; whose enjoyment is knowledge; whose destinies are lost in vastness, whose awareness of ourselves is similar to our awareness of the tiny organisms that infest the brain—a being that we, therefore, view as purely inanimate and material, just as those tiny organisms must see us.

Our telescopes and our mathematical investigations assure us on every hand—notwithstanding the cant of the more ignorant of the priesthood—that space, and therefore that bulk, is an important consideration in the eyes of the Almighty. The cycles in which the stars move are those best adapted for the evolution, without collision, of the greatest possible number of bodies. The forms of those bodies are accurately such as, within a given surface, to include the greatest possible amount of matter;—while the surfaces themselves are so disposed as to accommodate a denser population than could be accommodated on the same surfaces otherwise arranged. Nor is it any argument against bulk being an object with God, that space itself is infinite; for there may be an infinity of matter to fill it. And since we see clearly that the endowment of matter with vitality is a principle—indeed, as far as our judgments extend, the leading principle in the operations of Deity,—it is scarcely logical to imagine it confined to the regions of the minute, where we daily trace it, and not extending to those of the august. As we find cycle within cycle without end,—yet all revolving around one far-distant centre which is the God-head, may we not analogically suppose in the same manner, life within life, the less within the greater, and all within the Spirit Divine? In short, we are madly erring, through self-esteem, in believing man, in either his temporal or future destinies, to be of more moment in the universe than that vast “clod of the valley” which he tills and contemns, and to which he denies a soul for no more profound reason than that he does not behold it in operation. (*2)

Our telescopes and our mathematical studies assure us from all sides—despite the nonsense from the less knowledgeable members of the clergy—that space, and therefore size, is an important consideration in the eyes of the Almighty. The orbits of the stars are best suited for the development, without collision, of the largest possible number of objects. The shapes of those objects are accurately designed to contain the most matter within a given surface; while the surfaces themselves are arranged to support a denser population than could fit on those same surfaces arranged differently. It doesn’t contradict that size is important to God just because space itself is infinite; there could also be an infinite amount of matter to fill it. Since we clearly see that the endowment of matter with life is a principle—indeed, as far as our understanding goes, the main principle in God’s actions—it’s hardly logical to think it is limited to the small areas where we continually observe it, and not extending to the grander regions. As we find cycles within cycles endlessly—yet all revolving around one distant center which is the Godhead, can we not similarly suppose life within life, the lesser within the greater, and all within the Divine Spirit? In short, we are foolishly mistaken, due to our pride, in believing that humans, in either their present or future, are more significant in the universe than that vast “clod of the valley” which they farm and scorn, and to which they deny a soul for no deeper reason than that they don’t see it in action. (*2)

These fancies, and such as these, have always given to my meditations among the mountains and the forests, by the rivers and the ocean, a tinge of what the everyday world would not fail to term fantastic. My wanderings amid such scenes have been many, and far-searching, and often solitary; and the interest with which I have strayed through many a dim, deep valley, or gazed into the reflected Heaven of many a bright lake, has been an interest greatly deepened by the thought that I have strayed and gazed alone. What flippant Frenchman was it who said in allusion to the well-known work of Zimmerman, that, “la solitude est une belle chose; mais il faut quelqu’un pour vous dire que la solitude est une belle chose?” The epigram cannot be gainsayed; but the necessity is a thing that does not exist.

These daydreams, and others like them, have always added a touch of what the everyday world would call unrealistic to my thoughts while wandering among the mountains and forests, by the rivers and the ocean. I've explored many such places, often alone; and the wonder I feel as I roam through dim, deep valleys or look into the clear reflection of the sky in bright lakes has been greatly intensified by the fact that I'm doing it solo. What flippant Frenchman was it who remarked about Zimmerman's well-known work that, “solitude is a beautiful thing; but you need someone to tell you that solitude is a beautiful thing?” That statement is undeniably true; however, the need for that affirmation doesn't really exist.

It was during one of my lonely journeyings, amid a far distant region of mountain locked within mountain, and sad rivers and melancholy tarn writhing or sleeping within all—that I chanced upon a certain rivulet and island. I came upon them suddenly in the leafy June, and threw myself upon the turf, beneath the branches of an unknown odorous shrub, that I might doze as I contemplated the scene. I felt that thus only should I look upon it—such was the character of phantasm which it wore.

It was during one of my solitary adventures, in a remote area surrounded by mountains, with sad rivers and gloomy little lakes twisting or lying still, that I stumbled upon a small stream and an island. I discovered them suddenly in the leafy month of June and laid down on the grass beneath the branches of an unfamiliar fragrant shrub so I could doze off while taking in the view. I felt that this was the only way to appreciate it—such was the dreamlike quality it had.

On all sides—save to the west, where the sun was about sinking—arose the verdant walls of the forest. The little river which turned sharply in its course, and was thus immediately lost to sight, seemed to have no exit from its prison, but to be absorbed by the deep green foliage of the trees to the east—while in the opposite quarter (so it appeared to me as I lay at length and glanced upward) there poured down noiselessly and continuously into the valley, a rich golden and crimson waterfall from the sunset fountains of the sky.

On all sides—except to the west, where the sun was just about to set—stood the lush walls of the forest. The little river, which turned sharply in its path and quickly disappeared from view, seemed trapped with no way out except to be swallowed by the thick green leaves of the trees to the east. Meanwhile, in the opposite direction (or so it seemed to me as I lay back and looked up), a beautiful waterfall of gold and crimson flowed silently and continuously into the valley from the sunset's glow in the sky.

About midway in the short vista which my dreamy vision took in, one small circular island, profusely verdured, reposed upon the bosom of the stream.

About halfway through the short view my dreamy eyes captured, a small circular island, lush with greenery, rested on the surface of the stream.

So blended bank and shadow there
That each seemed pendulous in air—

So blended bank and shadow there
That each seemed to hang in the air—

so mirror-like was the glassy water, that it was scarcely possible to say at what point upon the slope of the emerald turf its crystal dominion began.

so mirror-like was the smooth water that it was almost impossible to tell where its crystal reign on the green grass started.

My position enabled me to include in a single view both the eastern and western extremities of the islet; and I observed a singularly-marked difference in their aspects. The latter was all one radiant harem of garden beauties. It glowed and blushed beneath the eyes of the slant sunlight, and fairly laughed with flowers. The grass was short, springy, sweet-scented, and asphodel-interspersed. The trees were lithe, mirthful, erect—bright, slender, and graceful,—of Eastern figure and foliage, with bark smooth, glossy, and parti-colored. There seemed a deep sense of life and joy about all; and although no airs blew from out the heavens, yet every thing had motion through the gentle sweepings to and fro of innumerable butterflies, that might have been mistaken for tulips with wings. (*4)

My position allowed me to see both ends of the islet at once, and I noticed a distinctly marked difference between them. The western side was a vibrant paradise filled with garden beauty. It glowed and blushed under the warm sunlight and was bursting with flowers. The grass was short, springy, sweet-smelling, and dotted with asphodels. The trees were flexible, cheerful, upright—bright, slender, and graceful—featuring Eastern shapes and leaves, with smooth, glossy, and multicolored bark. Everything seemed full of life and joy; and although there were no breezes from the skies, things moved gently due to the constant flitting of countless butterflies, which could easily be mistaken for tulips with wings. (*4)

The other or eastern end of the isle was whelmed in the blackest shade. A sombre, yet beautiful and peaceful gloom here pervaded all things. The trees were dark in color, and mournful in form and attitude, wreathing themselves into sad, solemn, and spectral shapes that conveyed ideas of mortal sorrow and untimely death. The grass wore the deep tint of the cypress, and the heads of its blades hung droopingly, and hither and thither among it were many small unsightly hillocks, low and narrow, and not very long, that had the aspect of graves, but were not; although over and all about them the rue and the rosemary clambered. The shade of the trees fell heavily upon the water, and seemed to bury itself therein, impregnating the depths of the element with darkness. I fancied that each shadow, as the sun descended lower and lower, separated itself sullenly from the trunk that gave it birth, and thus became absorbed by the stream; while other shadows issued momently from the trees, taking the place of their predecessors thus entombed.

The eastern end of the island was shrouded in deep darkness. A heavy, yet beautiful and calm gloom surrounded everything here. The trees were dark in color and had a mournful appearance, twisting into sad, solemn, and ghostly shapes that suggested feelings of sorrow and untimely death. The grass was a deep green, like cypress, with its blades hanging down, and scattered among it were small, unappealing mounds, low and narrow, that looked like graves, though they weren't; yet, rue and rosemary climbed over and around them. The shade from the trees fell heavily on the water, seeming to sink into it, filling the depths with darkness. I imagined that each shadow, as the sun dipped lower, reluctantly pulled away from the trunk that created it and became lost in the stream; while other shadows continually emerged from the trees, taking the place of those that had just sunk.

This idea, having once seized upon my fancy, greatly excited it, and I lost myself forthwith in revery. “If ever island were enchanted,” said I to myself, “this is it. This is the haunt of the few gentle Fays who remain from the wreck of the race. Are these green tombs theirs?—or do they yield up their sweet lives as mankind yield up their own? In dying, do they not rather waste away mournfully, rendering unto God, little by little, their existence, as these trees render up shadow after shadow, exhausting their substance unto dissolution? What the wasting tree is to the water that imbibes its shade, growing thus blacker by what it preys upon, may not the life of the Fay be to the death which engulfs it?”

This idea, once it sparked my imagination, excited me greatly, and I immediately lost myself in thought. “If any island were enchanted,” I told myself, “this is the one. This is where the few gentle Fairies who survived the fall of their kind still dwell. Are these green tombs theirs?—or do they give their sweet lives up like humans do? In dying, do they not instead fade away sadly, gradually returning to God, bit by bit, their existence, just as these trees give up shadow after shadow, wearing down until they dissolve? What the weakening tree is to the water that drinks in its shade, growing darker from what it consumes, might the life of the Fairy be to the death that consumes it?”

As I thus mused, with half-shut eyes, while the sun sank rapidly to rest, and eddying currents careered round and round the island, bearing upon their bosom large, dazzling, white flakes of the bark of the sycamore—flakes which, in their multiform positions upon the water, a quick imagination might have converted into anything it pleased—while I thus mused, it appeared to me that the form of one of those very Fays about whom I had been pondering made its way slowly into the darkness from out the light at the western end of the island. She stood erect in a singularly fragile canoe, and urged it with the mere phantom of an oar. While within the influence of the lingering sunbeams, her attitude seemed indicative of joy—but sorrow deformed it as she passed within the shade. Slowly she glided along, and at length rounded the islet and re-entered the region of light. “The revolution which has just been made by the Fay,” continued I, musingly, “is the cycle of the brief year of her life. She has floated through her winter and through her summer. She is a year nearer unto Death; for I did not fail to see that, as she came into the shade, her shadow fell from her, and was swallowed up in the dark water, making its blackness more black.”

As I pondered with my eyes half-closed, watching the sun quickly set and the swirling currents dance around the island, carrying large, bright white flakes of sycamore bark—flakes that, in their varied positions on the water, a lively imagination could turn into anything—it seemed to me that the shape of one of the very Fays I had been thinking about slowly emerged from the light at the western end of the island and moved into the darkness. She stood upright in a delicate canoe, propelling it with just the illusion of an oar. While still in the warm rays of the sun, her posture seemed joyful, but sorrow twisted it as she passed into the shade. She glided forward, eventually rounding the islet and re-entering the area of light. “The journey just made by the Fay,” I mused, “is the cycle of her brief year of life. She has drifted through her winter and summer. She is a year closer to Death; for I noticed that as she entered the shadow, her shadow fell away and disappeared into the dark water, deepening its blackness.”

And again the boat appeared and the Fay; but about the attitude of the latter there was more of care and uncertainty and less of elastic joy. She floated again from out the light and into the gloom (which deepened momently) and again her shadow fell from her into the ebony water, and became absorbed into its blackness. And again and again she made the circuit of the island, (while the sun rushed down to his slumbers), and at each issuing into the light there was more sorrow about her person, while it grew feebler and far fainter and more indistinct, and at each passage into the gloom there fell from her a darker shade, which became whelmed in a shadow more black. But at length when the sun had utterly departed, the Fay, now the mere ghost of her former self, went disconsolately with her boat into the region of the ebony flood—and that she issued thence at all I cannot say, for darkness fell over all things and I beheld her magical figure no more.

And once more the boat appeared along with the Fay; but this time, her mood was more filled with worry and uncertainty, and less with the vibrant joy she had before. She drifted again from the light into the thickening darkness, and once again her shadow stretched out over the dark water, blending into its blackness. She continued to circle the island, while the sun hurried down to rest, and each time she emerged into the light, there was a deeper sadness about her, while her form grew weaker, fainter, and more blurred. With each return to the darkness, a darker shadow fell from her, sinking into an even deeper shade. But finally, when the sun had completely set, the Fay, now just a wisp of her former self, sorrowfully took her boat into the dark waters—and whether she ever came back from there, I cannot say, for darkness enveloped everything, and I could see her enchanting figure no more.

THE ASSIGNATION

Stay for me there! I will not fail.
To meet thee in that hollow vale.

Stay there for me! I won't let you down.
To meet you in that empty valley.

(Exequy on the death of his wife, by Henry King, Bishop of Chichester.)

(Exequy on the death of his wife, by Henry King, Bishop of Chichester.)

Ill-fated and mysterious man!—bewildered in the brilliancy of thine own imagination, and fallen in the flames of thine own youth! Again in fancy I behold thee! Once more thy form hath risen before me!—not—oh! not as thou art—in the cold valley and shadow—but as thou shouldst be—squandering away a life of magnificent meditation in that city of dim visions, thine own Venice—which is a star-beloved Elysium of the sea, and the wide windows of whose Palladian palaces look down with a deep and bitter meaning upon the secrets of her silent waters. Yes! I repeat it—as thou shouldst be. There are surely other worlds than this—other thoughts than the thoughts of the multitude—other speculations than the speculations of the sophist. Who then shall call thy conduct into question? who blame thee for thy visionary hours, or denounce those occupations as a wasting away of life, which were but the overflowings of thine everlasting energies?

Unfortunate and mysterious man!—confused by the brightness of your own imagination and consumed by the fires of your own youth! Once again, I see you in my mind! Your figure has appeared before me!—not—oh! not as you are—in the cold valley and shadow—but as you should be—wasting away a life of extraordinary thought in that city of dim dreams, your own Venice—which is a star-kissed paradise of the sea, and the grand windows of its Palladian palaces look down with a deep and painful significance upon the secrets of its silent waters. Yes! I say it again—as you should be. Surely, there are other worlds than this—other ideas than the ideas of the crowd—other speculations than the musings of the clever. Who then has the right to question your actions? Who can criticize you for your visionary moments, or condemn those pursuits as a waste of life, which were merely the overflow of your boundless energy?

It was at Venice, beneath the covered archway there called the Ponte di Sospiri, that I met for the third or fourth time the person of whom I speak. It is with a confused recollection that I bring to mind the circumstances of that meeting. Yet I remember—ah! how should I forget?—the deep midnight, the Bridge of Sighs, the beauty of woman, and the Genius of Romance that stalked up and down the narrow canal.

It was in Venice, under the covered archway known as the Ponte di Sospiri, that I met the person I’m talking about for the third or fourth time. I have a hazy memory of the details of that meeting. But I remember—oh! how could I forget?—the deep midnight, the Bridge of Sighs, the beauty of a woman, and the spirit of Romance that wandered along the narrow canal.

It was a night of unusual gloom. The great clock of the Piazza had sounded the fifth hour of the Italian evening. The square of the Campanile lay silent and deserted, and the lights in the old Ducal Palace were dying fast away. I was returning home from the Piazetta, by way of the Grand Canal. But as my gondola arrived opposite the mouth of the canal San Marco, a female voice from its recesses broke suddenly upon the night, in one wild, hysterical, and long continued shriek. Startled at the sound, I sprang upon my feet: while the gondolier, letting slip his single oar, lost it in the pitchy darkness beyond a chance of recovery, and we were consequently left to the guidance of the current which here sets from the greater into the smaller channel. Like some huge and sable-feathered condor, we were slowly drifting down towards the Bridge of Sighs, when a thousand flambeaux flashing from the windows, and down the staircases of the Ducal Palace, turned all at once that deep gloom into a livid and preternatural day.

It was a night filled with unusual darkness. The great clock in the Piazza rang out the fifth hour of an Italian evening. The square by the Campanile was silent and empty, and the lights in the old Ducal Palace were quickly fading. I was on my way home from the Piazetta, traveling along the Grand Canal. But as my gondola reached the entrance of the San Marco canal, a female voice from within suddenly pierced the night with a wild, hysterical, and continuous scream. Startled by the sound, I jumped to my feet, while the gondolier, letting his single oar slip, lost it in the thick darkness, leaving us to drift with the current that flows from the larger channel into the smaller one. Like a massive black-feathered condor, we drifted slowly towards the Bridge of Sighs, when a thousand torches flashing from the windows and down the staircases of the Ducal Palace transformed the deep gloom into an unnatural, bright day.

A child, slipping from the arms of its own mother, had fallen from an upper window of the lofty structure into the deep and dim canal. The quiet waters had closed placidly over their victim; and, although my own gondola was the only one in sight, many a stout swimmer, already in the stream, was seeking in vain upon the surface, the treasure which was to be found, alas! only within the abyss. Upon the broad black marble flagstones at the entrance of the palace, and a few steps above the water, stood a figure which none who then saw can have ever since forgotten. It was the Marchesa Aphrodite—the adoration of all Venice—the gayest of the gay—the most lovely where all were beautiful—but still the young wife of the old and intriguing Mentoni, and the mother of that fair child, her first and only one, who now, deep beneath the murky water, was thinking in bitterness of heart upon her sweet caresses, and exhausting its little life in struggles to call upon her name.

A child, slipping from its mother's grasp, had fallen from an upper window of the tall building into the dark canal below. The calm waters had quietly closed over the child; and although my gondola was the only one in sight, many strong swimmers, already in the water, were searching in vain on the surface for the treasure that could be found, unfortunately, only in the depths. On the broad black marble stones at the entrance of the palace, just a few steps above the water, stood a figure that none who saw it that day could ever forget. It was Marchesa Aphrodite—the beloved of all Venice—the brightest of the bright—the most beautiful among all who were lovely—but still the young wife of the old and scheming Mentoni, and the mother of that fair child, her first and only one, who now, deep beneath the murky water, was bitterly remembering her sweet hugs, struggling to call out her name.

She stood alone. Her small, bare, and silvery feet gleamed in the black mirror of marble beneath her. Her hair, not as yet more than half loosened for the night from its ball-room array, clustered, amid a shower of diamonds, round and round her classical head, in curls like those of the young hyacinth. A snowy-white and gauze-like drapery seemed to be nearly the sole covering to her delicate form; but the mid-summer and midnight air was hot, sullen, and still, and no motion in the statue-like form itself, stirred even the folds of that raiment of very vapor which hung around it as the heavy marble hangs around the Niobe. Yet—strange to say!—her large lustrous eyes were not turned downwards upon that grave wherein her brightest hope lay buried—but riveted in a widely different direction! The prison of the Old Republic is, I think, the stateliest building in all Venice—but how could that lady gaze so fixedly upon it, when beneath her lay stifling her only child? Yon dark, gloomy niche, too, yawns right opposite her chamber window—what, then, could there be in its shadows—in its architecture—in its ivy-wreathed and solemn cornices—that the Marchesa di Mentoni had not wondered at a thousand times before? Nonsense!—Who does not remember that, at such a time as this, the eye, like a shattered mirror, multiplies the images of its sorrow, and sees in innumerable far-off places, the woe which is close at hand?

She stood alone. Her small, bare, silvery feet shone on the glossy marble beneath her. Her hair, still partially arranged from the ballroom, was styled in clusters of curls around her classic head, decorated with diamonds, resembling the young hyacinth. A sheer, white drapery seemed to be her only covering, but the summer night air was hot, heavy, and still, and nothing in her statue-like form stirred even the folds of the delicate fabric that hung around her like the heavy marble encasing Niobe. Yet—strangely enough—her large, shining eyes weren't looking down at the grave where her greatest hope lay buried but were fixed in an entirely different direction! The prison of the Old Republic is, in my opinion, the most impressive building in all of Venice—but how could she be so focused on it when her only child lay lifeless beneath her? That dark, gloomy niche yawns right across from her window—what could possibly be in its shadows, in its architecture, in its ivy-covered serious cornices—that the Marchesa di Mentoni hadn't pondered a thousand times before? Nonsense! Who doesn't remember that at times like this, the eye, like a cracked mirror, reflects multiple images of its sorrow and sees distant places filled with grief that are so close at hand?

Many steps above the Marchesa, and within the arch of the water-gate, stood, in full dress, the Satyr-like figure of Mentoni himself. He was occasionally occupied in thrumming a guitar, and seemed ennuye to the very death, as at intervals he gave directions for the recovery of his child. Stupefied and aghast, I had myself no power to move from the upright position I had assumed upon first hearing the shriek, and must have presented to the eyes of the agitated group a spectral and ominous appearance, as with pale countenance and rigid limbs, I floated down among them in that funereal gondola.

Many steps above the Marchesa, and under the arch of the water-gate, stood the Satyr-like figure of Mentoni himself, dressed to the nines. He occasionally strummed a guitar and seemed utterly bored, as he intermittently gave orders for the recovery of his child. Stunned and shocked, I found myself unable to move from the upright position I had taken when I first heard the scream, and I must have looked spectral and ominous to the anxious group as, with a pale face and stiff limbs, I drifted among them in that funeral gondola.

All efforts proved in vain. Many of the most energetic in the search were relaxing their exertions, and yielding to a gloomy sorrow. There seemed but little hope for the child; (how much less than for the mother!) but now, from the interior of that dark niche which has been already mentioned as forming a part of the Old Republican prison, and as fronting the lattice of the Marchesa, a figure muffled in a cloak, stepped out within reach of the light, and, pausing a moment upon the verge of the giddy descent, plunged headlong into the canal. As, in an instant afterwards, he stood with the still living and breathing child within his grasp, upon the marble flagstones by the side of the Marchesa, his cloak, heavy with the drenching water, became unfastened, and, falling in folds about his feet, discovered to the wonder-stricken spectators the graceful person of a very young man, with the sound of whose name the greater part of Europe was then ringing.

All efforts were in vain. Many of the most eager in the search were starting to relax their efforts and give in to a deep sadness. There seemed to be little hope for the child; (even less hope for the mother!) but now, from the dark corner that had already been mentioned as part of the Old Republican prison, facing the Marchesa's window, a figure wrapped in a cloak stepped into the light. After pausing for a moment at the edge of the steep drop, they jumped headfirst into the canal. Just moments later, as he stood on the marble pavement beside the Marchesa, holding the still-living child in his arms, his cloak, heavy with water, came undone and fell around his feet, revealing to the astonished onlookers the graceful figure of a very young man, whose name was echoing across much of Europe at that time.

No word spoke the deliverer. But the Marchesa! She will now receive her child—she will press it to her heart—she will cling to its little form, and smother it with her caresses. Alas! another’s arms have taken it from the stranger—another’s arms have taken it away, and borne it afar off, unnoticed, into the palace! And the Marchesa! Her lip—her beautiful lip trembles; tears are gathering in her eyes—those eyes which, like Pliny’s acanthus, are “soft and almost liquid.” Yes! tears are gathering in those eyes—and see! the entire woman thrills throughout the soul, and the statue has started into life! The pallor of the marble countenance, the swelling of the marble bosom, the very purity of the marble feet, we behold suddenly flushed over with a tide of ungovernable crimson; and a slight shudder quivers about her delicate frame, as a gentle air at Napoli about the rich silver lilies in the grass.

No words were spoken by the deliverer. But the Marchesa! She will now hold her child close to her heart—she will embrace its small form and shower it with love. Alas! Someone else’s arms have taken it from the stranger—someone else’s arms have carried it away, unnoticed, into the palace! And the Marchesa! Her lip—her beautiful lip trembles; tears are forming in her eyes—those eyes which, like Pliny’s acanthus, are “soft and almost liquid.” Yes! Tears are forming in those eyes—and look! the whole woman feels a thrill in her soul, and the statue has come to life! The pale marble face, the rising marble bosom, the very purity of the marble feet, suddenly blaze with an overwhelming flush of crimson; and a slight shiver runs through her delicate body, like a gentle breeze in Napoli stirring the rich silver lilies in the grass.

Why should that lady blush! To this demand there is no answer—except that, having left, in the eager haste and terror of a mother’s heart, the privacy of her own boudoir, she has neglected to enthral her tiny feet in their slippers, and utterly forgotten to throw over her Venetian shoulders that drapery which is their due. What other possible reason could there have been for her so blushing?—for the glance of those wild appealing eyes?—for the unusual tumult of that throbbing bosom?—for the convulsive pressure of that trembling hand?—that hand which fell, as Mentoni turned into the palace, accidentally, upon the hand of the stranger. What reason could there have been for the low—the singularly low tone of those unmeaning words which the lady uttered hurriedly in bidding him adieu? “Thou hast conquered,” she said, or the murmurs of the water deceived me; “thou hast conquered—one hour after sunrise—we shall meet—so let it be!”

Why should that lady blush! There’s no clear answer—except that, in her eager rush and the fear of a mother's heart, she left the privacy of her own room without putting on her slippers and completely forgot to drape the cover over her shoulders that should have been there. What other reason could there be for her to blush?—for the look in those wild, pleading eyes?—for the unusual flutter in that heaving chest?—for the tight grip of that shaky hand?—the hand that accidentally fell onto the hand of the stranger as Mentoni turned into the palace. What could explain the soft—the unusually soft tone of those meaningless words she hurriedly uttered in saying goodbye? “You have conquered,” she said, or perhaps the sound of the water misled me; “you have conquered—one hour after sunrise—we shall meet—so be it!”


The tumult had subsided, the lights had died away within the palace, and the stranger, whom I now recognized, stood alone upon the flags. He shook with inconceivable agitation, and his eye glanced around in search of a gondola. I could not do less than offer him the service of my own; and he accepted the civility. Having obtained an oar at the water-gate, we proceeded together to his residence, while he rapidly recovered his self-possession, and spoke of our former slight acquaintance in terms of great apparent cordiality.

The noise had quieted down, the lights had dimmed in the palace, and the stranger, who I now recognized, stood alone on the pavement. He was shaking with intense anxiety, and his eyes darted around looking for a gondola. I couldn’t help but offer him the use of mine, and he accepted my kindness. After getting an oar at the water gate, we headed to his place together, and he quickly regained his composure, chatting about our previous brief acquaintance with genuine warmth.

There are some subjects upon which I take pleasure in being minute. The person of the stranger—let me call him by this title, who to all the world was still a stranger—the person of the stranger is one of these subjects. In height he might have been below rather than above the medium size: although there were moments of intense passion when his frame actually expanded and belied the assertion. The light, almost slender symmetry of his figure, promised more of that ready activity which he evinced at the Bridge of Sighs, than of that Herculean strength which he has been known to wield without an effort, upon occasions of more dangerous emergency. With the mouth and chin of a deity—singular, wild, full, liquid eyes, whose shadows varied from pure hazel to intense and brilliant jet—and a profusion of curling, black hair, from which a forehead of unusual breadth gleamed forth at intervals all light and ivory—his were features than which I have seen none more classically regular, except, perhaps, the marble ones of the Emperor Commodus. Yet his countenance was, nevertheless, one of those which all men have seen at some period of their lives, and have never afterwards seen again. It had no peculiar, it had no settled predominant expression to be fastened upon the memory; a countenance seen and instantly forgotten, but forgotten with a vague and never-ceasing desire of recalling it to mind. Not that the spirit of each rapid passion failed, at any time, to throw its own distinct image upon the mirror of that face—but that the mirror, mirror-like, retained no vestige of the passion, when the passion had departed.

There are some topics that I enjoy discussing in detail. The appearance of the stranger—let’s call him that, since to everyone else he was still a stranger—is one of those topics. He may have been slightly shorter than average, though there were moments of intense emotion when his body seemed to actually grow and contradicted that idea. The light, almost delicate shape of his figure suggested more of the quick agility he displayed at the Bridge of Sighs than the massive strength he could show effortlessly in more critical situations. With the mouth and chin of a god—striking, wild, full, liquid eyes that shifted from pure hazel to deep, brilliant black—and a thick mass of curly black hair that framed a wide forehead shining with a light, ivory glow, he had features that I have seen no one more classically perfect, maybe except for the marble likeness of Emperor Commodus. Yet his face was still one of those that everyone recognizes at some point in their lives but can never recall again. It had no unique or lasting expression to stick in the memory; it was a face you’d see and then instantly forget, but forget with a lingering, restless urge to remember it. This isn’t to say that the spirit of every fleeting emotion didn’t leave its own clear mark on that face—but the reflection, like a mirror, held no trace of the emotion once it faded away.

Upon leaving him on the night of our adventure, he solicited me, in what I thought an urgent manner, to call upon him very early the next morning. Shortly after sunrise, I found myself accordingly at his Palazzo, one of those huge structures of gloomy, yet fantastic pomp, which tower above the waters of the Grand Canal in the vicinity of the Rialto. I was shown up a broad winding staircase of mosaics, into an apartment whose unparalleled splendor burst through the opening door with an actual glare, making me blind and dizzy with luxuriousness.

After parting ways with him on the night of our adventure, he urgently asked me to visit him very early the next morning. Shortly after sunrise, I arrived at his Palazzo, one of those enormous buildings that loom with a mix of gloom and ornate beauty above the waters of the Grand Canal near the Rialto. I was led up a wide, winding staircase adorned with mosaics, into a room so incredibly splendid that the moment the door opened, it hit me like a dazzling glare, leaving me blinded and dizzy from the sheer luxury.

I knew my acquaintance to be wealthy. Report had spoken of his possessions in terms which I had even ventured to call terms of ridiculous exaggeration. But as I gazed about me, I could not bring myself to believe that the wealth of any subject in Europe could have supplied the princely magnificence which burned and blazed around.

I knew my friend was rich. People talked about his belongings in a way that I thought was just over-the-top. But as I looked around, I couldn’t convince myself that the fortune of anyone in Europe could have created the luxurious splendor that shone all around me.

Although, as I say, the sun had arisen, yet the room was still brilliantly lighted up. I judge from this circumstance, as well as from an air of exhaustion in the countenance of my friend, that he had not retired to bed during the whole of the preceding night. In the architecture and embellishments of the chamber, the evident design had been to dazzle and astound. Little attention had been paid to the decora of what is technically called keeping, or to the proprieties of nationality. The eye wandered from object to object, and rested upon none—neither the grotesques of the Greek painters, nor the sculptures of the best Italian days, nor the huge carvings of untutored Egypt. Rich draperies in every part of the room trembled to the vibration of low, melancholy music, whose origin was not to be discovered. The senses were oppressed by mingled and conflicting perfumes, reeking up from strange convolute censers, together with multitudinous flaring and flickering tongues of emerald and violet fire. The rays of the newly risen sun poured in upon the whole, through windows, formed each of a single pane of crimson-tinted glass. Glancing to and fro, in a thousand reflections, from curtains which rolled from their cornices like cataracts of molten silver, the beams of natural glory mingled at length fitfully with the artificial light, and lay weltering in subdued masses upon a carpet of rich, liquid-looking cloth of Chili gold.

Even though the sun had come up, the room was still brilliantly lit. I gather from this, along with the tired look on my friend's face, that he hadn't gone to bed at all the night before. The design and decor of the room clearly aimed to impress and astonish. Little care was given to the decora of what is technically called keeping, or to the norms of nationality. The eye moved from one object to another but settled on none—neither the grotesques of Greek painters, nor the sculptures from Italy's golden age, nor the massive carvings from ancient Egypt. Rich drapes in every part of the room fluttered to the rhythm of soft, sad music, the source of which was untraceable. The senses were overwhelmed by an array of mixed and clashing scents wafting up from strange, twisted incense burners, along with numerous flickering flames in shades of emerald and violet. The beams of the newly risen sun streamed in through windows made of single panes of crimson glass. As the light bounced around in countless reflections off curtains that cascaded from their cornices like waterfalls of molten silver, the natural light eventually mixed unevenly with the artificial glow, pooling in muted masses on a rich, shimmering carpet of golden Chilean fabric.

“Ha! ha! ha!—ha! ha! ha!”—laughed the proprietor, motioning me to a seat as I entered the room, and throwing himself back at full-length upon an ottoman. “I see,” said he, perceiving that I could not immediately reconcile myself to the bienseance of so singular a welcome—“I see you are astonished at my apartment—at my statues—my pictures—my originality of conception in architecture and upholstery! absolutely drunk, eh, with my magnificence? But pardon me, my dear sir, (here his tone of voice dropped to the very spirit of cordiality,) pardon me for my uncharitable laughter. You appeared so utterly astonished. Besides, some things are so completely ludicrous, that a man must laugh or die. To die laughing, must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths! Sir Thomas More—a very fine man was Sir Thomas More—Sir Thomas More died laughing, you remember. Also in the Absurdities of Ravisius Textor, there is a long list of characters who came to the same magnificent end. Do you know, however,” continued he musingly, “that at Sparta (which is now Palæochori,) at Sparta, I say, to the west of the citadel, among a chaos of scarcely visible ruins, is a kind of socle, upon which are still legible the letters ΛΑΞΜ. They are undoubtedly part of ΓΕΛΑΞΜΑ. Now, at Sparta were a thousand temples and shrines to a thousand different divinities. How exceedingly strange that the altar of Laughter should have survived all the others! But in the present instance,” he resumed, with a singular alteration of voice and manner, “I have no right to be merry at your expense. You might well have been amazed. Europe cannot produce anything so fine as this, my little regal cabinet. My other apartments are by no means of the same order—mere ultras of fashionable insipidity. This is better than fashion—is it not? Yet this has but to be seen to become the rage—that is, with those who could afford it at the cost of their entire patrimony. I have guarded, however, against any such profanation. With one exception, you are the only human being besides myself and my valet, who has been admitted within the mysteries of these imperial precincts, since they have been bedizened as you see!”

“Ha! ha! ha!—ha! ha! ha!”—laughed the owner, gesturing for me to take a seat as I walked in, sprawling out on an ottoman. “I can see you’re surprised by my place—by my statues, my pictures, my unique style in architecture and decor! Are you just overwhelmed by my fabulousness? But forgive me, my dear sir, (his tone shifted to one of genuine warmth,) forgive my unkind laughter. You looked so completely astonished. Besides, some things are just so ridiculous that a person has to laugh or go crazy. Dying from laughter has to be the most glorious way to go! Sir Thomas More—what a great man—Sir Thomas More died laughing, you know. Also, in the Absurdities of Ravisius Textor, there’s a long list of people who met the same magnificent fate. By the way,” he continued thoughtfully, “at Sparta (now Palæochori), to the west of the citadel, there’s a place among some barely visible ruins where you can still see the letters ΛΑΞΜ. They are definitely part of ΓΕΛΑΞΜΑ. Sparta was home to a thousand temples and shrines dedicated to countless gods. Isn’t it strange that the altar of Laughter has survived all the others? But in this moment,” he said, with a noticeable change in tone and demeanor, “I shouldn’t be laughing at your expense. You could rightly be astonished. Europe isn’t capable of producing anything as fine as this little royal cabinet of mine. My other rooms aren’t nearly as impressive—just ultras of trendy dullness. This is better than fashion, don’t you think? Yet this will soon be the hot trend, at least for those who can afford it at the expense of their entire inheritance. I’ve made sure to protect it from such disrespect. Except for you, I am the only person, besides myself and my valet, who has been allowed into these splendid rooms since they’ve been decorated like this!”

I bowed in acknowledgment—for the overpowering sense of splendor and perfume, and music, together with the unexpected eccentricity of his address and manner, prevented me from expressing, in words, my appreciation of what I might have construed into a compliment.

I nodded in recognition—because the overwhelming sense of beauty, fragrance, and music, along with the surprising uniqueness of his speech and behavior, made it hard for me to put into words my appreciation for what I could have seen as a compliment.

“Here,” he resumed, arising and leaning on my arm as he sauntered around the apartment, “here are paintings from the Greeks to Cimabue, and from Cimabue to the present hour. Many are chosen, as you see, with little deference to the opinions of Virtu. They are all, however, fitting tapestry for a chamber such as this. Here, too, are some chefs d’oeuvre of the unknown great; and here, unfinished designs by men, celebrated in their day, whose very names the perspicacity of the academies has left to silence and to me. What think you,” said he, turning abruptly as he spoke—“what think you of this Madonna della Pieta?”

“Here,” he continued, getting up and leaning on my arm as he walked around the apartment, “here are paintings from the Greeks to Cimabue, and from Cimabue to the present day. Many are selected, as you can see, with little regard for the opinions of Virtu. They are all, however, fitting decor for a room like this. Here, too, are some chefs d’oeuvre of the unknown masters; and here, unfinished works by men who were celebrated in their time, whose very names the insight of the academies has let slip into silence along with me. What do you think,” he said, turning abruptly as he spoke—“what do you think of this Madonna della Pieta?”

“It is Guido’s own!” I said, with all the enthusiasm of my nature, for I had been poring intently over its surpassing loveliness. “It is Guido’s own!—how could you have obtained it?—she is undoubtedly in painting what the Venus is in sculpture.”

“It’s Guido’s own!” I said, filled with enthusiasm, because I had been closely examining its incredible beauty. “It’s Guido’s own!—how did you manage to get it?—she is definitely to painting what Venus is to sculpture.”

“Ha!” said he thoughtfully, “the Venus—the beautiful Venus?—the Venus of the Medici?—she of the diminutive head and the gilded hair? Part of the left arm (here his voice dropped so as to be heard with difficulty,) and all the right, are restorations; and in the coquetry of that right arm lies, I think, the quintessence of all affectation. Give me the Canova! The Apollo, too, is a copy—there can be no doubt of it—blind fool that I am, who cannot behold the boasted inspiration of the Apollo! I cannot help—pity me!—I cannot help preferring the Antinous. Was it not Socrates who said that the statuary found his statue in the block of marble? Then Michael Angelo was by no means original in his couplet—

“Ha!” he said thoughtfully, “the Venus—the beautiful Venus?—the Venus of the Medici?—the one with the small head and the golden hair? Part of the left arm (here his voice dropped to be barely heard) and all of the right are restored; and in the flirtation of that right arm lies, I think, the essence of all pretense. Give me the Canova! The Apollo is also a copy—there’s no doubt about it—what a blind fool I am, unable to see the praise-worthy inspiration of the Apollo! I can’t help—feel sorry for me!—I can’t help but prefer the Antinous. Wasn’t it Socrates who said that the sculptor finds his statue in the block of marble? Then Michelangelo wasn’t at all original in his couplet—

‘Non ha l’ottimo artista alcun concetto
Che un marmo solo in se non circunscriva.’”

‘The great artist has no idea
That a marble block does not define itself.’”

It has been, or should be remarked, that, in the manner of the true gentleman, we are always aware of a difference from the bearing of the vulgar, without being at once precisely able to determine in what such difference consists. Allowing the remark to have applied in its full force to the outward demeanor of my acquaintance, I felt it, on that eventful morning, still more fully applicable to his moral temperament and character. Nor can I better define that peculiarity of spirit which seemed to place him so essentially apart from all other human beings, than by calling it a habit of intense and continual thought, pervading even his most trivial actions—intruding upon his moments of dalliance—and interweaving itself with his very flashes of merriment—like adders which writhe from out the eyes of the grinning masks in the cornices around the temples of Persepolis.

It should be noted that, like a true gentleman, we always sense a difference from the attitude of the ordinary person, even if we can't quite pinpoint what that difference is. Applying this observation fully to my friend's outward demeanor, I realized that it was even more relevant to his moral nature and character on that significant morning. I can't better explain the unique spirit that seemed to set him apart from all others than by describing it as a habit of deep and constant thought that influenced even his most mundane actions—interrupting his moments of playfulness—and intertwining itself with his spontaneous joy—like snakes slithering out from the eyes of the grinning masks in the cornices around the temples of Persepolis.

I could not help, however, repeatedly observing, through the mingled tone of levity and solemnity with which he rapidly descanted upon matters of little importance, a certain air of trepidation—a degree of nervous unction in action and in speech—an unquiet excitability of manner which appeared to me at all times unaccountable, and upon some occasions even filled me with alarm. Frequently, too, pausing in the middle of a sentence whose commencement he had apparently forgotten, he seemed to be listening in the deepest attention, as if either in momentary expectation of a visitor, or to sounds which must have had existence in his imagination alone.

I couldn't help but notice, through the mixed tone of playfulness and seriousness with which he quickly talked about trivial matters, a certain feeling of nervousness—a level of anxiety in his actions and speech—an uncomfortable restlessness in his manner that always seemed puzzling to me, and at times even made me anxious. Often, he would stop in the middle of a sentence he seemed to have forgotten, listening intently as if he was either expecting a visitor at any moment or trying to catch sounds that must have existed only in his imagination.

It was during one of these reveries or pauses of apparent abstraction, that, in turning over a page of the poet and scholar Politian’s beautiful tragedy “The Orfeo,” (the first native Italian tragedy,) which lay near me upon an ottoman, I discovered a passage underlined in pencil. It was a passage towards the end of the third act—a passage of the most heart-stirring excitement—a passage which, although tainted with impurity, no man shall read without a thrill of novel emotion—no woman without a sigh. The whole page was blotted with fresh tears; and, upon the opposite interleaf, were the following English lines, written in a hand so very different from the peculiar characters of my acquaintance, that I had some difficulty in recognising it as his own:—

It was during one of these daydreams or moments of seeming distraction that, while flipping through a page of the poet and scholar Politian’s beautiful tragedy “The Orfeo” (the first native Italian tragedy), which was resting nearby on an ottoman, I came across a passage underlined in pencil. It was a moment towards the end of the third act—a moment filled with intense emotion—a moment that, despite its flaws, will make any man experience a rush of new feelings and any woman let out a sigh. The whole page was stained with fresh tears; and on the opposite interleaf were the following English lines, written in a hand so different from my friend’s usual writing that I had some trouble recognizing it as his:—

Thou wast that all to me, love,
    For which my soul did pine—
A green isle in the sea, love,
    A fountain and a shrine,
All wreathed with fairy fruits and flowers;
    And all the flowers were mine.

Ah, dream too bright to last!
    Ah, starry Hope, that didst arise
But to be overcast!
    A voice from out the Future cries,
“Onward!”—but o’er the Past
    (Dim gulf!) my spirit hovering lies,
Mute—motionless—aghast!

For alas! alas! with me
    The light of life is o’er.
“No more—no more—no more,”
    (Such language holds the solemn sea
To the sands upon the shore,)
    Shall bloom the thunder-blasted tree,
Or the stricken eagle soar!

Now all my hours are trances;
    And all my nightly dreams
Are where the dark eye glances,
    And where thy footstep gleams,
In what ethereal dances,
    By what Italian streams.

Alas! for that accursed time
    They bore thee o’er the billow,
From Love to titled age and crime,
    And an unholy pillow!—
From me, and from our misty clime,
    Where weeps the silver willow!

You were everything to me, love,
    For which my soul ached—
A green island in the sea, love,
    A fountain and a shrine,
All adorned with magical fruits and flowers;
    And all the flowers were mine.

Ah, dream too bright to last!
    Ah, starry Hope, that rose
Only to be overshadowed!
    A voice from the Future calls,
“Move forward!”—but over the Past
    (Dim abyss!) my spirit lingers,
Silent—still—stunned!

For sadly! sadly! with me
    The light of life is gone.
“No more—no more—no more,”
    (Such words echo the solemn sea
To the sands along the shore,)
    Will bloom the storm-damaged tree,
Or the wounded eagle soar!

Now all my hours are trances;
    And all my nightly dreams
Are where the dark eye glimmers,
    And where your footsteps shine,
In what ethereal dances,
    By what Italian streams.

Alas! for that cursed time
    They took you over the waves,
From Love to titles and crime,
    And an unholy bed!—
From me, and from our misty home,
    Where the silver willow weeps!

That these lines were written in English—a language with which I had not believed their author acquainted—afforded me little matter for surprise. I was too well aware of the extent of his acquirements, and of the singular pleasure he took in concealing them from observation, to be astonished at any similar discovery; but the place of date, I must confess, occasioned me no little amazement. It had been originally written London, and afterwards carefully overscored—not, however, so effectually as to conceal the word from a scrutinizing eye. I say, this occasioned me no little amazement; for I well remember that, in a former conversation with a friend, I particularly inquired if he had at any time met in London the Marchesa di Mentoni, (who for some years previous to her marriage had resided in that city,) when his answer, if I mistake not, gave me to understand that he had never visited the metropolis of Great Britain. I might as well here mention, that I have more than once heard, (without, of course, giving credit to a report involving so many improbabilities,) that the person of whom I speak, was not only by birth, but in education, an Englishman.

That these lines were written in English—a language I didn’t think their author knew—didn't really surprise me. I knew how knowledgeable he was and how much he enjoyed hiding that knowledge from others, so any similar revelation didn’t shock me. However, I have to admit that the location listed caught me off guard. It had originally been written as London and then carefully crossed out—not so effectively that it couldn't be seen by a keen observer. I mention this surprised me because I clearly remember in a past conversation with a friend that I asked if he had ever met the Marchesa di Mentoni in London (who had lived there for several years before her marriage), and if I recall correctly, his answer implied he had never been to the capital of Great Britain. I should also mention that I've heard more than once, (without really believing such an unlikely story), that the person I’m talking about was not only English by birth but also by upbringing.


“There is one painting,” said he, without being aware of my notice of the tragedy—“there is still one painting which you have not seen.” And throwing aside a drapery, he discovered a full-length portrait of the Marchesa Aphrodite.

“There’s one painting,” he said, unaware that I had noticed the tragedy—“there’s still one painting you haven’t seen.” And pulling back a curtain, he revealed a full-length portrait of the Marchesa Aphrodite.

Human art could have done no more in the delineation of her superhuman beauty. The same ethereal figure which stood before me the preceding night upon the steps of the Ducal Palace, stood before me once again. But in the expression of the countenance, which was beaming all over with smiles, there still lurked (incomprehensible anomaly!) that fitful stain of melancholy which will ever be found inseparable from the perfection of the beautiful. Her right arm lay folded over her bosom. With her left she pointed downward to a curiously fashioned vase. One small, fairy foot, alone visible, barely touched the earth; and, scarcely discernible in the brilliant atmosphere which seemed to encircle and enshrine her loveliness, floated a pair of the most delicately imagined wings. My glance fell from the painting to the figure of my friend, and the vigorous words of Chapman’s Bussy D’Ambois, quivered instinctively upon my lips:

Human art couldn't have done more to capture her otherworldly beauty. The same ethereal figure that had stood before me the previous night on the steps of the Ducal Palace appeared before me again. But in her face, which was radiating smiles, there still lingered (an inexplicable contradiction!) that fleeting hint of sadness that always seems tied to the perfection of beauty. Her right arm was folded over her chest. With her left hand, she pointed down at a uniquely shaped vase. One small, delicate foot, the only part of her touching the ground, barely made contact; and, hardly noticeable in the radiant atmosphere that surrounded and glorified her beauty, floated a pair of the most exquisitely designed wings. My gaze shifted from the painting to my friend's figure, and the strong words of Chapman's Bussy D’Ambois instinctively trembled on my lips:

    “He is up
There like a Roman statue! He will stand
Till Death hath made him marble!”

“He is up
There like a Roman statue! He will stand
Until Death has turned him to marble!”

“Come,” he said at length, turning towards a table of richly enamelled and massive silver, upon which were a few goblets fantastically stained, together with two large Etruscan vases, fashioned in the same extraordinary model as that in the foreground of the portrait, and filled with what I supposed to be Johannisberger. “Come,” he said, abruptly, “let us drink! It is early—but let us drink. It is indeed early,” he continued, musingly, as a cherub with a heavy golden hammer made the apartment ring with the first hour after sunrise: “It is indeed early—but what matters it? let us drink! Let us pour out an offering to yon solemn sun which these gaudy lamps and censers are so eager to subdue!” And, having made me pledge him in a bumper, he swallowed in rapid succession several goblets of the wine.

“Come,” he said after a moment, turning toward a table made of richly decorated and heavy silver, on which sat a few goblets with wild stains, along with two large Etruscan vases that looked just like the one in the foreground of the portrait, filled with what I guessed to be Johannisberger. “Come,” he said suddenly, “let’s drink! It’s early—but let’s drink. It’s really early,” he continued, reflecting, as a cherub with a heavy golden hammer made the room echo with the first hour after sunrise: “It’s really early—but what does it matter? Let’s drink! Let’s pour out a tribute to that solemn sun which these flashy lamps and incense burners are so eager to overpower!” After making me toast with a full glass, he quickly downed several goblets of the wine.

“To dream,” he continued, resuming the tone of his desultory conversation, as he held up to the rich light of a censer one of the magnificent vases—“to dream has been the business of my life. I have therefore framed for myself, as you see, a bower of dreams. In the heart of Venice could I have erected a better? You behold around you, it is true, a medley of architectural embellishments. The chastity of Ionia is offended by antediluvian devices, and the sphynxes of Egypt are outstretched upon carpets of gold. Yet the effect is incongruous to the timid alone. Proprieties of place, and especially of time, are the bugbears which terrify mankind from the contemplation of the magnificent. Once I was myself a decorist; but that sublimation of folly has palled upon my soul. All this is now the fitter for my purpose. Like these arabesque censers, my spirit is writhing in fire, and the delirium of this scene is fashioning me for the wilder visions of that land of real dreams whither I am now rapidly departing.” He here paused abruptly, bent his head to his bosom, and seemed to listen to a sound which I could not hear. At length, erecting his frame, he looked upwards, and ejaculated the lines of the Bishop of Chichester:

“To dream,” he continued, picking up the conversation where he left off, as he held one of the stunning vases up to the warm light of a censer—“to dream has been the main focus of my life. I've created, as you can see, a haven of dreams. Could I have built a better one in the heart of Venice? You see around you a mix of architectural styles. The purity of Ionia is insulted by ancient designs, and the sphinxes of Egypt lie across carpets of gold. Yet the overall effect is jarring only to the timid. The rules of place, and especially of time, are the frightening things that keep people from appreciating the magnificent. Once, I was a decorator myself; but that extravagant foolishness has grown stale for me. All of this now better suits my purpose. Like these ornate censers, my spirit is burning in fire, and the madness of this scene is preparing me for the wilder visions of that land of true dreams to which I am now quickly heading.” He suddenly paused, bowed his head to his chest, and seemed to listen to a sound that I couldn’t hear. Eventually, straightening up, he looked upward and recited lines from the Bishop of Chichester:

“Stay for me there! I will not fail
To meet thee in that hollow vale.”

“Wait for me there! I won’t let you down
To meet you in that empty valley.”

In the next instant, confessing the power of the wine, he threw himself at full-length upon an ottoman.

In the next moment, acknowledging the strength of the wine, he collapsed onto an ottoman.

A quick step was now heard upon the staircase, and a loud knock at the door rapidly succeeded. I was hastening to anticipate a second disturbance, when a page of Mentoni’s household burst into the room, and faltered out, in a voice choking with emotion, the incoherent words, “My mistress!—my mistress!—Poisoned!—poisoned! Oh, beautiful—oh, beautiful Aphrodite!”

A quick step echoed on the staircase, followed by a loud knock at the door. I rushed to prepare for another interruption when a page from Mentoni’s household burst into the room and, with a voice filled with emotion, stammered, “My mistress!—my mistress!—Poisoned!—poisoned! Oh, beautiful—oh, beautiful Aphrodite!”

Bewildered, I flew to the ottoman, and endeavored to arouse the sleeper to a sense of the startling intelligence. But his limbs were rigid—his lips were livid—his lately beaming eyes were riveted in death. I staggered back towards the table—my hand fell upon a cracked and blackened goblet—and a consciousness of the entire and terrible truth flashed suddenly over my soul.

Bewildered, I rushed to the ottoman and tried to wake the sleeper, hoping to share the shocking news. But his body was stiff—his lips were pale—his once bright eyes were fixed in death. I staggered back to the table—my hand landed on a cracked and charred goblet—and the full, horrifying truth hit me all at once.

THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM

Impia tortorum longos hic turba furores
Sanguinis innocui, non satiata, aluit.
Sospite nunc patria, fracto nunc funeris antro,
Mors ubi dira fuit vita salusque patent.

Impious crowd of tormentors, feeding here on long-lasting rage
Of innocent blood, never satisfied. Now the homeland is safe,
Now the cave of death is broken,
Where grim death was, life and salvation are clear.

[Quatrain composed for the gates of a market to be erected upon the site of the Jacobin Club House at Paris.]

[Quatrain written for the entrance of a market to be built on the location of the Jacobin Club House in Paris.]

I was sick—sick unto death with that long agony; and when they at length unbound me, and I was permitted to sit, I felt that my senses were leaving me. The sentence—the dread sentence of death—was the last of distinct accentuation which reached my ears. After that, the sound of the inquisitorial voices seemed merged in one dreamy indeterminate hum. It conveyed to my soul the idea of revolution—perhaps from its association in fancy with the burr of a mill wheel. This only for a brief period, for presently I heard no more. Yet, for a while, I saw—but with how terrible an exaggeration! I saw the lips of the black-robed judges. They appeared to me white—whiter than the sheet upon which I trace these words—and thin even to grotesqueness; thin with the intensity of their expression of firmness—of immoveable resolution—of stern contempt of human torture. I saw that the decrees of what to me was Fate, were still issuing from those lips. I saw them writhe with a deadly locution. I saw them fashion the syllables of my name; and I shuddered because no sound succeeded. I saw, too, for a few moments of delirious horror, the soft and nearly imperceptible waving of the sable draperies which enwrapped the walls of the apartment. And then my vision fell upon the seven tall candles upon the table. At first they wore the aspect of charity, and seemed white and slender angels who would save me; but then, all at once, there came a most deadly nausea over my spirit, and I felt every fibre in my frame thrill as if I had touched the wire of a galvanic battery, while the angel forms became meaningless spectres, with heads of flame, and I saw that from them there would be no help. And then there stole into my fancy, like a rich musical note, the thought of what sweet rest there must be in the grave. The thought came gently and stealthily, and it seemed long before it attained full appreciation; but just as my spirit came at length properly to feel and entertain it, the figures of the judges vanished, as if magically, from before me; the tall candles sank into nothingness; their flames went out utterly; the blackness of darkness supervened; all sensations appeared swallowed up in a mad rushing descent as of the soul into Hades. Then silence, and stillness, night were the universe.

I was sick—sick to the point of death from that long agony; and when they finally unbound me and allowed me to sit, I felt like I was losing my senses. The sentence—the terrifying sentence of death—was the last thing I heard clearly. After that, the sound of the questioning voices blended into a vague, indistinct hum. It suggested to my soul the idea of revolution—maybe because of its connection in my mind to the low drone of a mill wheel. This lasted only a brief moment, for soon I heard nothing more. Yet, for a while, I could see—but with such a terrible distortion! I saw the lips of the black-robed judges. They looked white—whiter than the paper on which I’m writing these words—and thin to the point of being grotesque; thin with the intensity of their expression of determination—of steadfast resolution—of a harsh disregard for human suffering. I saw that the decrees of what felt like Fate were still coming from those lips. I watched them move as they formed the syllables of my name, and I shuddered because no sound followed. I also saw, for a few moments of terrifying delirium, the soft and almost imperceptible swaying of the black drapes that surrounded the walls of the room. Then my gaze landed on the seven tall candles on the table. At first, they looked like charity, appearing as white and slender angels who might save me; but suddenly, a deep nausea overwhelmed my spirit, and I felt every fiber of my being tingle as if I had touched the wire of a battery, while the angelic figures transformed into meaningless specters with heads of fire, and I realized they would offer no help. Then, a thought crept into my mind, like a beautiful musical note, about the sweet rest that must exist in the grave. The thought came gently and quietly, and it took a while before I fully grasped it; but just as my spirit began to genuinely feel and embrace it, the figures of the judges vanished, as if by magic, from before me; the tall candles dissolved into nothingness; their flames extinguished entirely; darkness swallowed everything up; all sensations felt like they were being drawn into a wild descent as if the soul were plunging into Hades. Then silence, stillness, and night became the universe.

I had swooned; but still will not say that all of consciousness was lost. What of it there remained I will not attempt to define, or even to describe; yet all was not lost. In the deepest slumber—no! In delirium—no! In a swoon—no! In death—no! even in the grave all is not lost. Else there is no immortality for man. Arousing from the most profound of slumbers, we break the gossamer web of some dream. Yet in a second afterward, (so frail may that web have been) we remember not that we have dreamed. In the return to life from the swoon there are two stages; first, that of the sense of mental or spiritual; secondly, that of the sense of physical, existence. It seems probable that if, upon reaching the second stage, we could recall the impressions of the first, we should find these impressions eloquent in memories of the gulf beyond. And that gulf is—what? How at least shall we distinguish its shadows from those of the tomb? But if the impressions of what I have termed the first stage are not, at will, recalled, yet, after long interval, do they not come unbidden, while we marvel whence they come? He who has never swooned, is not he who finds strange palaces and wildly familiar faces in coals that glow; is not he who beholds floating in mid-air the sad visions that the many may not view; is not he who ponders over the perfume of some novel flower; is not he whose brain grows bewildered with the meaning of some musical cadence which has never before arrested his attention.

I had fainted; but I won’t say that I lost all awareness. Whatever awareness remained, I won't try to define or describe; yet all was not gone. In the deepest sleep—no! In delirium—no! In a faint—no! In death—no! Even in the grave, all is not lost. If it were, there would be no immortality for humans. When we wake from the deepest slumber, we break the delicate thread of a dream. Yet just a moment later, we might not even remember that we dreamed. When returning to life from a faint, there are two stages: first, the mental or spiritual awareness; second, the awareness of physical existence. It seems likely that if, upon reaching the second stage, we could recall the impressions from the first, we would find those impressions full of memories from the abyss beyond. And that abyss is—what? How, at least, can we tell its shadows apart from those of the grave? But if the impressions from what I’ve called the first stage can’t be recalled at will, don’t they sometimes return unexpectedly after a long time, leaving us to wonder where they came from? The one who has never fainted is not the same as someone who sees strange castles and oddly familiar faces in glowing coals; he doesn't witness the sad visions floating in mid-air that many cannot see; he's not the one who contemplates the scent of a new flower; he doesn’t find his mind confused by the meaning of a musical phrase that has never caught his attention before.

Amid frequent and thoughtful endeavors to remember; amid earnest struggles to regather some token of the state of seeming nothingness into which my soul had lapsed, there have been moments when I have dreamed of success; there have been brief, very brief periods when I have conjured up remembrances which the lucid reason of a later epoch assures me could have had reference only to that condition of seeming unconsciousness. These shadows of memory tell, indistinctly, of tall figures that lifted and bore me in silence down—down—still down—till a hideous dizziness oppressed me at the mere idea of the interminableness of the descent. They tell also of a vague horror at my heart, on account of that heart’s unnatural stillness. Then comes a sense of sudden motionlessness throughout all things; as if those who bore me (a ghastly train!) had outrun, in their descent, the limits of the limitless, and paused from the wearisomeness of their toil. After this I call to mind flatness and dampness; and then all is madness—the madness of a memory which busies itself among forbidden things.

In the midst of my frequent and thoughtful efforts to remember, during my earnest struggles to grip some semblance of the emptiness my soul had fallen into, there have been times when I’ve dreamed of success. There were short, very short moments when I managed to call up memories that, according to the clear reasoning of a later time, could only relate to that state of seeming unconsciousness. These blurry memories vaguely tell of tall figures that lifted and carried me down—down—further down—until a terrifying dizziness overwhelmed me at the thought of the endless descent. They also hint at a strange horror in my heart because of its unnaturally still state. Then there’s a sudden stillness throughout everything, as if those who carried me—a chilling procession—had surpassed the limits of the limitless and paused from their exhausting journey. After that, I remember flatness and dampness, and then everything becomes madness—the madness of a memory obsessed with forbidden things.

Very suddenly there came back to my soul motion and sound—the tumultuous motion of the heart, and, in my ears, the sound of its beating. Then a pause in which all is blank. Then again sound, and motion, and touch—a tingling sensation pervading my frame. Then the mere consciousness of existence, without thought—a condition which lasted long. Then, very suddenly, thought, and shuddering terror, and earnest endeavor to comprehend my true state. Then a strong desire to lapse into insensibility. Then a rushing revival of soul and a successful effort to move. And now a full memory of the trial, of the judges, of the sable draperies, of the sentence, of the sickness, of the swoon. Then entire forgetfulness of all that followed; of all that a later day and much earnestness of endeavor have enabled me vaguely to recall.

Suddenly, I felt life and sound come back to me—the chaotic beating of my heart and the sound of it thumping in my ears. Then there was a pause where everything went blank. After that, I experienced sound, movement, and touch—a tingling sensation spreading through my body. Then came the simple awareness of existing, without any thoughts—a state that lasted a long time. Then, abruptly, thoughts returned, along with a chilling fear and a desperate attempt to understand what was happening to me. I felt a strong urge to slip back into unconsciousness. Then I was hit with a wave of clarity and managed to move. Now, I remember everything about the trial, the judges, the dark robes, the sentence, the sickness, and the fainting. But I completely forgot everything that happened afterward; all the details that a later day and much effort allowed me to vaguely remember.

So far, I had not opened my eyes. I felt that I lay upon my back, unbound. I reached out my hand, and it fell heavily upon something damp and hard. There I suffered it to remain for many minutes, while I strove to imagine where and what I could be. I longed, yet dared not to employ my vision. I dreaded the first glance at objects around me. It was not that I feared to look upon things horrible, but that I grew aghast lest there should be nothing to see. At length, with a wild desperation at heart, I quickly unclosed my eyes. My worst thoughts, then, were confirmed. The blackness of eternal night encompassed me. I struggled for breath. The intensity of the darkness seemed to oppress and stifle me. The atmosphere was intolerably close. I still lay quietly, and made effort to exercise my reason. I brought to mind the inquisitorial proceedings, and attempted from that point to deduce my real condition. The sentence had passed; and it appeared to me that a very long interval of time had since elapsed. Yet not for a moment did I suppose myself actually dead. Such a supposition, notwithstanding what we read in fiction, is altogether inconsistent with real existence;—but where and in what state was I? The condemned to death, I knew, perished usually at the autos-da-fe, and one of these had been held on the very night of the day of my trial. Had I been remanded to my dungeon, to await the next sacrifice, which would not take place for many months? This I at once saw could not be. Victims had been in immediate demand. Moreover, my dungeon, as well as all the condemned cells at Toledo, had stone floors, and light was not altogether excluded.

So far, I hadn’t opened my eyes. I sensed that I was lying on my back, unbound. I reached out my hand, and it landed heavily on something damp and hard. I let it stay there for many minutes while I tried to imagine where I was and what my situation could be. I wanted to see, but I was afraid to open my eyes. It wasn’t that I feared seeing something horrible, but I was terrified that there would be nothing to see. Finally, with a wild desperation in my heart, I quickly opened my eyes. My worst fears were confirmed. The blackness of eternal night surrounded me. I struggled to breathe. The intensity of the darkness felt like it was crushing me. The air was suffocatingly close. I remained still, trying to think clearly. I recalled the trial proceedings and attempted to figure out my true situation from that point. The sentence had been given, and it seemed to me that a very long time had passed since then. Yet I didn’t think I was actually dead. Such an idea, despite what we read in stories, is completely at odds with real life; but where was I, and in what state? I knew that those condemned to death usually perished at the public executions, and one had taken place on the very night of my trial. Had I been sent back to my dungeon to await the next execution, which wouldn’t happen for many months? I quickly realized that couldn’t be the case. They had been in immediate demand for victims. Also, my dungeon, like all the condemned cells in Toledo, had stone floors and wasn’t completely dark.

A fearful idea now suddenly drove the blood in torrents upon my heart, and for a brief period, I once more relapsed into insensibility. Upon recovering, I at once started to my feet, trembling convulsively in every fibre. I thrust my arms wildly above and around me in all directions. I felt nothing; yet dreaded to move a step, lest I should be impeded by the walls of a tomb. Perspiration burst from every pore, and stood in cold big beads upon my forehead. The agony of suspense grew at length intolerable, and I cautiously moved forward, with my arms extended, and my eyes straining from their sockets, in the hope of catching some faint ray of light. I proceeded for many paces; but still all was blackness and vacancy. I breathed more freely. It seemed evident that mine was not, at least, the most hideous of fates.

A sudden, terrifying thought flooded my heart with fear, and for a moment, I fainted again. When I came to, I quickly got to my feet, trembling all over. I flailed my arms wildly in all directions. I couldn’t feel anything, but I was afraid to move, worried I’d bump into the walls of a tomb. Sweat poured from every pore and formed cold beads on my forehead. The unbearable suspense grew, and I carefully moved forward, arms outstretched and eyes straining, hoping to catch even a glimpse of light. I went several steps, but it was still complete darkness and emptiness. I started to breathe a little easier. It was clear that my situation wasn’t the worst fate I could face.

And now, as I still continued to step cautiously onward, there came thronging upon my recollection a thousand vague rumors of the horrors of Toledo. Of the dungeons there had been strange things narrated—fables I had always deemed them—but yet strange, and too ghastly to repeat, save in a whisper. Was I left to perish of starvation in this subterranean world of darkness; or what fate, perhaps even more fearful, awaited me? That the result would be death, and a death of more than customary bitterness, I knew too well the character of my judges to doubt. The mode and the hour were all that occupied or distracted me.

And now, as I kept moving forward carefully, a flood of vague rumors about the horrors of Toledo came back to me. There had been strange stories about the dungeons—tales I had always considered fables—but still odd, and too gruesome to say out loud, except in a whisper. Was I going to starve in this underground world of darkness, or what even more terrifying fate awaited me? I knew all too well the nature of my captors to doubt that the outcome would be death, and a death more bitter than usual. The only things that occupied my mind were the method and the timing.

My outstretched hands at length encountered some solid obstruction. It was a wall, seemingly of stone masonry—very smooth, slimy, and cold. I followed it up; stepping with all the careful distrust with which certain antique narratives had inspired me. This process, however, afforded me no means of ascertaining the dimensions of my dungeon; as I might make its circuit, and return to the point whence I set out, without being aware of the fact; so perfectly uniform seemed the wall. I therefore sought the knife which had been in my pocket, when led into the inquisitorial chamber; but it was gone; my clothes had been exchanged for a wrapper of coarse serge. I had thought of forcing the blade in some minute crevice of the masonry, so as to identify my point of departure. The difficulty, nevertheless, was but trivial; although, in the disorder of my fancy, it seemed at first insuperable. I tore a part of the hem from the robe and placed the fragment at full length, and at right angles to the wall. In groping my way around the prison, I could not fail to encounter this rag upon completing the circuit. So, at least I thought: but I had not counted upon the extent of the dungeon, or upon my own weakness. The ground was moist and slippery. I staggered onward for some time, when I stumbled and fell. My excessive fatigue induced me to remain prostrate; and sleep soon overtook me as I lay.

My outstretched hands finally hit something solid. It was a wall that felt like stone—very smooth, slimy, and cold. I followed it along, stepping cautiously as some old stories had made me wary. However, this didn’t help me figure out the size of my prison; I could walk all the way around it and return to where I started without even realizing it because the wall looked so identical the whole way. I then looked for the knife that had been in my pocket when I was brought into the interrogation room, but it was gone; my clothes had been swapped for a rough robe made of coarse fabric. I had thought about forcing the blade into some tiny crack in the wall to mark where I began. The challenge didn’t seem too big, even though it felt impossible at first because my mind was in chaos. I ripped a piece of the hem from the robe and placed it straight out at a right angle to the wall. As I felt my way around the prison, I figured I would bump into this rag when I completed the loop. At least, that's what I thought; but I hadn’t anticipated how large the dungeon was or how weak I would feel. The ground was damp and slippery. I staggered forward for a while until I tripped and fell. My extreme fatigue made me want to just lie there, and sleep quickly took over as I laid down.

Upon awaking, and stretching forth an arm, I found beside me a loaf and a pitcher with water. I was too much exhausted to reflect upon this circumstance, but ate and drank with avidity. Shortly afterward, I resumed my tour around the prison, and with much toil came at last upon the fragment of the serge. Up to the period when I fell I had counted fifty-two paces, and upon resuming my walk, I had counted forty-eight more—when I arrived at the rag. There were in all, then, a hundred paces; and, admitting two paces to the yard, I presumed the dungeon to be fifty yards in circuit. I had met, however, with many angles in the wall, and thus I could form no guess at the shape of the vault, for vault I could not help supposing it to be.

When I woke up and reached out an arm, I found a loaf of bread and a pitcher of water next to me. I was too exhausted to think about this, so I ate and drank hungrily. Soon after, I went for another walk around the prison and, after a lot of effort, finally found the piece of cloth. Before I fell, I had counted fifty-two steps, and when I continued walking, I counted forty-eight more—until I came to the rag. In total, that was a hundred steps; and, counting two steps to the yard, I guessed the dungeon was about fifty yards around. However, I had encountered many angles in the walls, so I couldn't figure out the shape of the vault, which I couldn’t help but assume it was.

I had little object—certainly no hope—in these researches; but a vague curiosity prompted me to continue them. Quitting the wall, I resolved to cross the area of the enclosure. At first I proceeded with extreme caution, for the floor, although seemingly of solid material, was treacherous with slime. At length, however, I took courage, and did not hesitate to step firmly; endeavoring to cross in as direct a line as possible. I had advanced some ten or twelve paces in this manner, when the remnant of the torn hem of my robe became entangled between my legs. I stepped on it, and fell violently on my face.

I had little purpose—definitely no hope—in these investigations; but a vague curiosity drove me to keep going. Leaving the wall, I decided to walk across the area of the enclosure. At first, I moved very carefully, because the floor, although it looked solid, was slippery with slime. Eventually, though, I found my courage and stepped confidently, trying to move in as straight a line as possible. I had made it about ten or twelve strides this way when the frayed edge of my robe got caught between my legs. I stepped on it and fell hard on my face.

In the confusion attending my fall, I did not immediately apprehend a somewhat startling circumstance, which yet, in a few seconds afterward, and while I still lay prostrate, arrested my attention. It was this: my chin rested upon the floor of the prison, but my lips and the upper portion of my head, although seemingly at a less elevation than the chin, touched nothing. At the same time my forehead seemed bathed in a clammy vapor, and the peculiar smell of decayed fungus arose to my nostrils. I put forward my arm, and shuddered to find that I had fallen at the very brink of a circular pit, whose extent, of course, I had no means of ascertaining at the moment. Groping about the masonry just below the margin, I succeeded in dislodging a small fragment, and let it fall into the abyss. For many seconds I hearkened to its reverberations as it dashed against the sides of the chasm in its descent; at length there was a sullen plunge into water, succeeded by loud echoes. At the same moment there came a sound resembling the quick opening, and as rapid closing of a door overhead, while a faint gleam of light flashed suddenly through the gloom, and as suddenly faded away.

In the chaos following my fall, I didn't immediately notice a pretty shocking detail, which soon caught my attention while I was still lying on the ground. It was this: my chin was resting on the prison floor, but my lips and the top of my head, even though they seemed lower than my chin, were not touching anything. At the same time, my forehead felt wet with a damp mist, and I could smell decayed fungus in the air. I reached out my arm and shuddered when I realized I had fallen right at the edge of a circular pit, the size of which I couldn't determine at that moment. I felt around the masonry just below the edge, managed to dislodge a small piece, and let it drop into the darkness. For several seconds, I listened to it echo as it crashed against the walls of the pit while it fell; finally, there was a dull splash into water, followed by loud echoes. At the same time, I heard a sound like a door opening quickly and then slamming shut overhead, while a faint beam of light suddenly pierced the darkness, only to vanish just as quickly.

I saw clearly the doom which had been prepared for me, and congratulated myself upon the timely accident by which I had escaped. Another step before my fall, and the world had seen me no more. And the death just avoided, was of that very character which I had regarded as fabulous and frivolous in the tales respecting the Inquisition. To the victims of its tyranny, there was the choice of death with its direst physical agonies, or death with its most hideous moral horrors. I had been reserved for the latter. By long suffering my nerves had been unstrung, until I trembled at the sound of my own voice, and had become in every respect a fitting subject for the species of torture which awaited me.

I saw clearly the doom that had been set for me and congratulated myself on the fortunate accident that allowed me to escape. One more step before my fall, and the world would have seen me no more. The death I had just avoided was exactly the kind I had thought was exaggerated and silly in the stories about the Inquisition. For the victims of its tyranny, there was the choice of death with its worst physical suffering, or death with its most horrifying moral nightmares. I had been meant for the latter. After enduring so much, my nerves had become unsteady, until I flinched at the sound of my own voice and had turned into a perfect candidate for the kind of torture that awaited me.

Shaking in every limb, I groped my way back to the wall—resolving there to perish rather than risk the terrors of the wells, of which my imagination now pictured many in various positions about the dungeon. In other conditions of mind I might have had courage to end my misery at once by a plunge into one of these abysses; but now I was the veriest of cowards. Neither could I forget what I had read of these pits—that the sudden extinction of life formed no part of their most horrible plan.

Shaking all over, I felt my way back to the wall—determined to die there rather than face the horrors of the pits, which my mind now imagined to be scattered throughout the dungeon. Under different circumstances, I might have had the courage to end my suffering right away by jumping into one of those chasms; but now I was the biggest coward imaginable. I also couldn’t shake off what I had read about these holes—that the quick end of life was not part of their most terrifying plan.

Agitation of spirit kept me awake for many long hours, but at length I again slumbered. Upon arousing, I found by my side, as before, a loaf and a pitcher of water. A burning thirst consumed me, and I emptied the vessel at a draught. It must have been drugged—for scarcely had I drunk, before I became irresistibly drowsy. A deep sleep fell upon me—a sleep like that of death. How long it lasted of course, I know not; but when, once again, I unclosed my eyes, the objects around me were visible. By a wild sulphurous lustre, the origin of which I could not at first determine, I was enabled to see the extent and aspect of the prison.

Restlessness kept me awake for many long hours, but eventually I fell asleep again. When I woke up, I found a loaf of bread and a pitcher of water at my side, just like before. I was incredibly thirsty and drank the entire pitcher in one go. It must have been drugged—because right after I drank, an overwhelming sleepiness hit me. A deep sleep came over me—a sleep similar to death. I don’t know how long it lasted, but when I finally opened my eyes again, I could see the things around me. A strange, sulfurous light that I couldn’t initially identify allowed me to see the size and layout of the prison.

In its size I had been greatly mistaken. The whole circuit of its walls did not exceed twenty-five yards. For some minutes this fact occasioned me a world of vain trouble; vain indeed! for what could be of less importance, under the terrible circumstances which environed me, then the mere dimensions of my dungeon? But my soul took a wild interest in trifles, and I busied myself in endeavors to account for the error I had committed in my measurement. The truth at length flashed upon me. In my first attempt at exploration I had counted fifty-two paces, up to the period when I fell; I must then have been within a pace or two of the fragment of serge; in fact, I had nearly performed the circuit of the vault. I then slept—and, upon awaking, I must have returned upon my steps—thus supposing the circuit nearly double what it actually was. My confusion of mind prevented me from observing that I began my tour with the wall to the left, and ended it with the wall to the right.

I had seriously underestimated its size. The entire circumference of its walls was only about twenty-five yards. For a few minutes, this realization caused me a lot of pointless distress; pointless indeed! What could be less important, given the terrible situation I found myself in, than the mere size of my prison? Yet, my mind became fixated on these trivial details, and I occupied myself trying to figure out where I went wrong in my measurements. Eventually, the truth hit me. During my first attempt at exploring, I had counted fifty-two steps until I fell; I must have been just a step or two away from the piece of fabric. In fact, I had almost completed the circuit of the vault. I then fell asleep—and when I woke up, I must have retraced my steps—leading me to mistakenly think the circuit was nearly double what it actually was. My confused state of mind prevented me from realizing that I started my walk with the wall on my left and ended with the wall on my right.

I had been deceived, too, in respect to the shape of the enclosure. In feeling my way I had found many angles, and thus deduced an idea of great irregularity; so potent is the effect of total darkness upon one arousing from lethargy or sleep! The angles were simply those of a few slight depressions, or niches, at odd intervals. The general shape of the prison was square. What I had taken for masonry seemed now to be iron, or some other metal, in huge plates, whose sutures or joints occasioned the depression. The entire surface of this metallic enclosure was rudely daubed in all the hideous and repulsive devices to which the charnel superstition of the monks has given rise. The figures of fiends in aspects of menace, with skeleton forms, and other more really fearful images, overspread and disfigured the walls. I observed that the outlines of these monstrosities were sufficiently distinct, but that the colors seemed faded and blurred, as if from the effects of a damp atmosphere. I now noticed the floor, too, which was of stone. In the centre yawned the circular pit from whose jaws I had escaped; but it was the only one in the dungeon.

I had also been misled about the shape of the enclosure. As I felt my way around, I discovered many angles, leading me to believe it was very irregular; the impact of complete darkness on someone waking from lethargy or sleep is quite powerful! The angles turned out to be just a few minor depressions or niches at odd intervals. The overall shape of the prison was square. What I had initially thought was masonry now appeared to be iron or some other metal, in large sheets, with the seams or joints causing the indentations. The entire surface of this metallic enclosure was crudely covered in all the ugly and repulsive designs inspired by the dark superstitions of the monks. Images of demons in threatening poses, with skeletal bodies, and other truly horrifying figures covered and marred the walls. I noticed that the outlines of these grotesque images were fairly clear, but the colors looked faded and smudged, as if from a damp environment. I now saw that the floor was made of stone. In the center was the circular pit from which I had escaped; it was the only one in the dungeon.

All this I saw indistinctly and by much effort—for my personal condition had been greatly changed during slumber. I now lay upon my back, and at full length, on a species of low framework of wood. To this I was securely bound by a long strap resembling a surcingle. It passed in many convolutions about my limbs and body, leaving at liberty only my head, and my left arm to such extent that I could, by dint of much exertion, supply myself with food from an earthen dish which lay by my side on the floor. I saw, to my horror, that the pitcher had been removed. I say to my horror—for I was consumed with intolerable thirst. This thirst it appeared to be the design of my persecutors to stimulate—for the food in the dish was meat pungently seasoned.

I saw all this vaguely and with a lot of effort—my personal condition had changed significantly during my sleep. I was now lying on my back, stretched out on a kind of low wooden frame. I was securely tied down with a long strap that resembled a surcingle. It wrapped around my limbs and body in many twists, leaving only my head and part of my left arm free enough for me to exert myself and reach food from an earthen dish that was next to me on the floor. To my horror, I noticed that the pitcher was gone. I say "to my horror" because I was overwhelmed with unbearable thirst. It seemed that my captors intended to increase this thirst—since the food in the dish was meat that was intensely seasoned.

Looking upward, I surveyed the ceiling of my prison. It was some thirty or forty feet overhead, and constructed much as the side walls. In one of its panels a very singular figure riveted my whole attention. It was the painted figure of Time as he is commonly represented, save that, in lieu of a scythe, he held what, at a casual glance, I supposed to be the pictured image of a huge pendulum such as we see on antique clocks. There was something, however, in the appearance of this machine which caused me to regard it more attentively. While I gazed directly upward at it (for its position was immediately over my own) I fancied that I saw it in motion. In an instant afterward the fancy was confirmed. Its sweep was brief, and of course slow. I watched it for some minutes, somewhat in fear, but more in wonder. Wearied at length with observing its dull movement, I turned my eyes upon the other objects in the cell.

Looking up, I scanned the ceiling of my prison. It was about thirty or forty feet above me and built much like the side walls. One of the panels caught my full attention with a very unusual figure. It was a painted image of Time as he's usually depicted, except instead of a scythe, he held what I initially thought was a large pendulum like those found on old clocks. However, there was something about this machine that made me look closer. As I stared straight up at it (since it was directly above me), I thought I saw it moving. A moment later, my suspicion was confirmed. Its swing was brief and, of course, slow. I watched it for several minutes, feeling both afraid and fascinated. Eventually, tired of watching its dull movement, I shifted my gaze to the other objects in the cell.

A slight noise attracted my notice, and, looking to the floor, I saw several enormous rats traversing it. They had issued from the well, which lay just within view to my right. Even then, while I gazed, they came up in troops, hurriedly, with ravenous eyes, allured by the scent of the meat. From this it required much effort and attention to scare them away.

A small noise caught my attention, and when I looked down at the floor, I saw several huge rats scurrying across it. They had come out of the well, which was just visible to my right. Even then, as I watched, they came up in groups, quickly, with hungry eyes, drawn in by the smell of the meat. It took a lot of effort and focus to drive them away.

It might have been half an hour, perhaps even an hour, (for I could take but imperfect note of time) before I again cast my eyes upward. What I then saw confounded and amazed me. The sweep of the pendulum had increased in extent by nearly a yard. As a natural consequence, its velocity was also much greater. But what mainly disturbed me was the idea that had perceptibly descended. I now observed—with what horror it is needless to say—that its nether extremity was formed of a crescent of glittering steel, about a foot in length from horn to horn; the horns upward, and the under edge evidently as keen as that of a razor. Like a razor also, it seemed massy and heavy, tapering from the edge into a solid and broad structure above. It was appended to a weighty rod of brass, and the whole hissed as it swung through the air.

It might have been half an hour, maybe even an hour, (since I couldn't keep track of time very well) before I looked up again. What I saw then stunned and amazed me. The swing of the pendulum had increased in range by almost a yard. Naturally, its speed was much greater as well. But what really unsettled me was the idea that had noticeably dropped down. I now saw—with what horror I won’t mention—that its lower end was shaped like a crescent of shiny steel, about a foot long from tip to tip; the tips pointed upward, and the bottom edge looked as sharp as a razor. Like a razor, it also appeared heavy and thick, tapering from the edge into a solid and wide structure above. It was attached to a heavy brass rod, and the whole thing hissed as it swung through the air.

I could no longer doubt the doom prepared for me by monkish ingenuity in torture. My cognizance of the pit had become known to the inquisitorial agents—the pit, whose horrors had been destined for so bold a recusant as myself—the pit, typical of hell, and regarded by rumor as the Ultima Thule of all their punishments. The plunge into this pit I had avoided by the merest of accidents, I knew that surprise, or entrapment into torment, formed an important portion of all the grotesquerie of these dungeon deaths. Having failed to fall, it was no part of the demon plan to hurl me into the abyss; and thus (there being no alternative) a different and a milder destruction awaited me. Milder! I half smiled in my agony as I thought of such application of such a term.

I could no longer doubt the doom prepared for me by the monks' twisted ideas of torture. I had become aware of the pit—the pit, whose terrors were meant for someone as defiant as me—the pit, like hell itself, and rumored to be the worst of all their punishments. I had narrowly escaped falling into this pit, and I knew that surprise or being caught in pain was a crucial part of the bizarre ways people died in these dungeons. Since I had avoided the fall, it was not part of the demons’ plan to throw me into the abyss; and so, with no other options, a different and less painful fate awaited me. Less painful! I half-smiled in my agony as I thought about the absurdity of that term.

What boots it to tell of the long, long hours of horror more than mortal, during which I counted the rushing vibrations of the steel! Inch by inch—line by line—with a descent only appreciable at intervals that seemed ages—down and still down it came! Days passed—it might have been that many days passed—ere it swept so closely over me as to fan me with its acrid breath. The odor of the sharp steel forced itself into my nostrils. I prayed—I wearied heaven with my prayer for its more speedy descent. I grew frantically mad, and struggled to force myself upward against the sweep of the fearful scimitar. And then I fell suddenly calm, and lay smiling at the glittering death, as a child at some rare bauble.

What’s the point of talking about the endless hours of horror that felt beyond human experience, during which I counted the rushing vibrations of the steel? Inch by inch—line by line—with a descent that was only noticeable at intervals that seemed like ages—down and still down it came! Days might have passed—it could have been many days—before it came so close to me that I felt its acrid breath. The smell of the sharp steel filled my nostrils. I prayed—I exhausted heaven with my prayers for it to come down faster. I became frantically mad and struggled to push myself upward against the sweep of the terrifying blade. Then, I suddenly fell calm, lying there smiling at the glittering death, like a child mesmerized by a rare toy.

There was another interval of utter insensibility; it was brief; for, upon again lapsing into life there had been no perceptible descent in the pendulum. But it might have been long; for I knew there were demons who took note of my swoon, and who could have arrested the vibration at pleasure. Upon my recovery, too, I felt very—oh! inexpressibly—sick and weak, as if through long inanition. Even amid the agonies of that period, the human nature craved food. With painful effort I outstretched my left arm as far as my bonds permitted, and took possession of the small remnant which had been spared me by the rats. As I put a portion of it within my lips, there rushed to my mind a half formed thought of joy—of hope. Yet what business had I with hope? It was, as I say, a half formed thought—man has many such, which are never completed. I felt that it was of joy—of hope; but felt also that it had perished in its formation. In vain I struggled to perfect—to regain it. Long suffering had nearly annihilated all my ordinary powers of mind. I was an imbecile—an idiot.

There was another period of complete blackout; it was short; because, when I came back to consciousness, the pendulum hadn't noticeably dropped. But it could have lasted longer; I knew there were demons watching my fainting spell who could have stopped the swinging whenever they wanted. When I came to, I felt incredibly—oh, so sick—and weak, like I hadn’t eaten in days. Even in that painful moment, my human instinct craved food. With great effort, I stretched my left arm as far as my restraints would allow and grabbed the little bit of food the rats had left me. As I put some of it in my mouth, a half-formed thought of joy—of hope—flashed in my mind. Yet what right did I have to hope? It was, as I said, a half-formed thought—people have many of those that never fully develop. I sensed that it was about joy—about hope; but I also felt that it had died before it could fully form. I struggled in vain to make it complete—to hold onto it. Long suffering had almost wiped out all my usual mental abilities. I was a fool—an idiot.

The vibration of the pendulum was at right angles to my length. I saw that the crescent was designed to cross the region of the heart. It would fray the serge of my robe—it would return and repeat its operations—again—and again. Notwithstanding its terrifically wide sweep (some thirty feet or more) and the hissing vigor of its descent, sufficient to sunder these very walls of iron, still the fraying of my robe would be all that, for several minutes, it would accomplish. And at this thought I paused. I dared not go farther than this reflection. I dwelt upon it with a pertinacity of attention—as if, in so dwelling, I could arrest here the descent of the steel. I forced myself to ponder upon the sound of the crescent as it should pass across the garment—upon the peculiar thrilling sensation which the friction of cloth produces on the nerves. I pondered upon all this frivolity until my teeth were on edge.

The pendulum swung at a right angle to my body. I noticed that its blade was aimed at the area around my heart. It would wear down the fabric of my robe—it would swing back and do it again—over and over. Despite its enormous reach (at least thirty feet or more) and the fierce speed of its drop, powerful enough to break these iron walls, all it would achieve for several minutes was to fray my robe. At this thought, I hesitated. I didn't dare think beyond that. I focused on it intensely—as if by concentrating, I could stop the steel from descending. I forced myself to think about the sound the blade would make as it brushed against the fabric—about the strange, tingling feeling that the friction of cloth creates on the skin. I fixated on all this triviality until my teeth were on edge.

Down—steadily down it crept. I took a frenzied pleasure in contrasting its downward with its lateral velocity. To the right—to the left—far and wide—with the shriek of a damned spirit! to my heart with the stealthy pace of the tiger! I alternately laughed and howled as the one or the other idea grew predominant.

Down—slowly down it moved. I felt a wild thrill in comparing its downward speed to its sideways motion. To the right—to the left—far and wide—with the scream of a tormented soul! to my heart with the quiet approach of a tiger! I went back and forth between laughing and howling as one thought or the other took over.

Down—certainly, relentlessly down! It vibrated within three inches of my bosom! I struggled violently, furiously, to free my left arm. This was free only from the elbow to the hand. I could reach the latter, from the platter beside me, to my mouth, with great effort, but no farther. Could I have broken the fastenings above the elbow, I would have seized and attempted to arrest the pendulum. I might as well have attempted to arrest an avalanche!

Down—definitely, relentlessly down! It shook within three inches of my chest! I struggled hard, desperately, to free my left arm. It was only free from the elbow to the hand. I could reach from the platter next to me to my mouth with a lot of effort, but no farther. If I could have broken the bindings above the elbow, I would have grabbed it and tried to stop the pendulum. I might as well have tried to stop an avalanche!

Down—still unceasingly—still inevitably down! I gasped and struggled at each vibration. I shrunk convulsively at its every sweep. My eyes followed its outward or upward whirls with the eagerness of the most unmeaning despair; they closed themselves spasmodically at the descent, although death would have been a relief, oh, how unspeakable! Still I quivered in every nerve to think how slight a sinking of the machinery would precipitate that keen, glistening axe upon my bosom. It was hope that prompted the nerve to quiver—the frame to shrink. It was hope—the hope that triumphs on the rack—that whispers to the death-condemned even in the dungeons of the Inquisition.

Down—still unendingly—still inevitably down! I gasped and struggled with each jolt. I flinched convulsively at every sweep. My eyes followed its outward or upward spins with the eagerness of the most meaningless despair; they closed reflexively at the drop, even though death would have been a relief, oh, how unspeakable! Still, I trembled in every nerve at the thought that a slight failure of the machinery would send that sharp, glistening axe crashing down on me. It was hope that triggered the quivering of my nerves—the shrinking of my body. It was hope—the hope that endures through torture—that whispers to the condemned even in the dungeons of the Inquisition.

I saw that some ten or twelve vibrations would bring the steel in actual contact with my robe, and with this observation there suddenly came over my spirit all the keen, collected calmness of despair. For the first time during many hours—or perhaps days—I thought. It now occurred to me that the bandage, or surcingle, which enveloped me, was unique. I was tied by no separate cord. The first stroke of the razorlike crescent athwart any portion of the band, would so detach it that it might be unwound from my person by means of my left hand. But how fearful, in that case, the proximity of the steel! The result of the slightest struggle how deadly! Was it likely, moreover, that the minions of the torturer had not foreseen and provided for this possibility? Was it probable that the bandage crossed my bosom in the track of the pendulum? Dreading to find my faint, and, as it seemed, my last hope frustrated, I so far elevated my head as to obtain a distinct view of my breast. The surcingle enveloped my limbs and body close in all directions—save in the path of the destroying crescent.

I noticed that about ten or twelve swings would bring the steel into direct contact with my robe, and with that realization, a sharp, intense calmness of despair washed over me. For the first time in what felt like many hours—or maybe even days—I started to think. It struck me that the bandage, or support, holding me was different from anything else. I wasn’t tied with separate cords. The first slice of the razor-sharp crescent against any part of the band would completely detach it, allowing me to unwind it with my left hand. But how terrifying would it be, then, to have the steel so close? The slightest struggle could be fatal! Wasn’t it likely that the torturer's assistants had anticipated this possibility? Was it even probable that the bandage crossed my chest in the path of the pendulum? Fearing that my weak, and what felt like my last, hope would be dashed, I managed to lift my head enough to get a clear look at my chest. The support wrapped tightly around my limbs and body in every direction—except where the deadly crescent would swing.

Scarcely had I dropped my head back into its original position, when there flashed upon my mind what I cannot better describe than as the unformed half of that idea of deliverance to which I have previously alluded, and of which a moiety only floated indeterminately through my brain when I raised food to my burning lips. The whole thought was now present—feeble, scarcely sane, scarcely definite,—but still entire. I proceeded at once, with the nervous energy of despair, to attempt its execution.

As soon as I tilted my head back into place, an idea struck me that I can only describe as the incomplete part of the concept of freedom I mentioned before. A fragment of it had only vaguely lingered in my mind when I brought food to my burning lips. Now the entire thought was clear—weak, barely rational, and not fully formed—but still complete. I immediately, with the frantic energy of desperation, tried to put it into action.

For many hours the immediate vicinity of the low framework upon which I lay had been literally swarming with rats. They were wild, bold, ravenous—their red eyes glaring upon me as if they waited but for motionlessness on my part to make me their prey. “To what food,” I thought, “have they been accustomed in the well?”

For many hours, the area around the low framework I was lying on had been crawling with rats. They were wild, daring, and hungry—their red eyes staring at me as if they were just waiting for me to be still enough to become their next meal. “What food,” I wondered, “have they been used to in the well?”

They had devoured, in spite of all my efforts to prevent them, all but a small remnant of the contents of the dish. I had fallen into an habitual see-saw, or wave of the hand about the platter; and, at length, the unconscious uniformity of the movement deprived it of effect. In their voracity the vermin frequently fastened their sharp fangs in my fingers. With the particles of the oily and spicy viand which now remained, I thoroughly rubbed the bandage wherever I could reach it; then, raising my hand from the floor, I lay breathlessly still.

They had gobbled up, despite all my attempts to stop them, almost everything on the plate except for a small bit. I had gotten into a routine of waving my hand over the dish, and eventually, the mindless repetition made it lose its impact. In their eagerness, the pests often sank their sharp teeth into my fingers. With the bits of the greasy and spicy food that were left, I rubbed the bandage wherever I could reach; then, raising my hand off the floor, I lay there breathlessly still.

At first the ravenous animals were startled and terrified at the change—at the cessation of movement. They shrank alarmedly back; many sought the well. But this was only for a moment. I had not counted in vain upon their voracity. Observing that I remained without motion, one or two of the boldest leaped upon the frame-work, and smelt at the surcingle. This seemed the signal for a general rush. Forth from the well they hurried in fresh troops. They clung to the wood—they overran it, and leaped in hundreds upon my person. The measured movement of the pendulum disturbed them not at all. Avoiding its strokes they busied themselves with the anointed bandage. They pressed—they swarmed upon me in ever accumulating heaps. They writhed upon my throat; their cold lips sought my own; I was half stifled by their thronging pressure; disgust, for which the world has no name, swelled my bosom, and chilled, with a heavy clamminess, my heart. Yet one minute, and I felt that the struggle would be over. Plainly I perceived the loosening of the bandage. I knew that in more than one place it must be already severed. With a more than human resolution I lay still.

At first, the hungry animals were shocked and frightened by the change—by the sudden stop in movement. They pulled back in alarm; many went to the well. But this lasted only a moment. I had not misjudged their greed. Noticing that I remained still, one or two of the braver ones jumped onto the framework and sniffed at the strap. This seemed to signal a rush from the others. They quickly came out from the well in new groups. They clung to the wood, overwhelmed it, and leapt onto me in hundreds. The steady movement of the pendulum didn’t bother them at all. Avoiding its swings, they focused on the oily bandage. They pressed closer, swarming over me in ever-growing piles. They writhed against my throat; their cold lips sought mine; I was nearly suffocated by their overwhelming mass; a deep disgust, for which there’s no name in the world, filled my chest and cold, clammy heaviness gripped my heart. Yet, in just a minute, I knew the struggle would be over. I could feel the bandage loosening. I understood that in more than one spot it must already be cut. With a strength beyond human, I lay still.

Nor had I erred in my calculations—nor had I endured in vain. I at length felt that I was free. The surcingle hung in ribands from my body. But the stroke of the pendulum already pressed upon my bosom. It had divided the serge of the robe. It had cut through the linen beneath. Twice again it swung, and a sharp sense of pain shot through every nerve. But the moment of escape had arrived. At a wave of my hand my deliverers hurried tumultuously away. With a steady movement—cautious, sidelong, shrinking, and slow—I slid from the embrace of the bandage and beyond the reach of the scimitar. For the moment, at least, I was free.

I hadn’t made any mistakes in my calculations—nor had I suffered for nothing. I finally felt that I was free. The straps hung in ribbons from my body. But the swing of the pendulum was already pressing against my chest. It had sliced through the fabric of my robe. It had cut through the linen underneath. Twice more it swung, and a sharp pain shot through every nerve. But the moment of escape had come. With a wave of my hand, my rescuers rushed away in a frenzy. With a steady movement—cautious, side-stepping, hesitant, and slow—I slipped from the hold of the bandage and out of reach of the scimitar. For now, at least, I was free.

Free!—and in the grasp of the Inquisition! I had scarcely stepped from my wooden bed of horror upon the stone floor of the prison, when the motion of the hellish machine ceased and I beheld it drawn up, by some invisible force, through the ceiling. This was a lesson which I took desperately to heart. My every motion was undoubtedly watched. Free!—I had but escaped death in one form of agony, to be delivered unto worse than death in some other. With that thought I rolled my eves nervously around on the barriers of iron that hemmed me in. Something unusual—some change which, at first, I could not appreciate distinctly—it was obvious, had taken place in the apartment. For many minutes of a dreamy and trembling abstraction, I busied myself in vain, unconnected conjecture. During this period, I became aware, for the first time, of the origin of the sulphurous light which illumined the cell. It proceeded from a fissure, about half an inch in width, extending entirely around the prison at the base of the walls, which thus appeared, and were, completely separated from the floor. I endeavored, but of course in vain, to look through the aperture.

Free!—and in the grip of the Inquisition! I had barely stepped off my wooden bed of horror onto the stone floor of the prison when the motion of the hellish machine stopped, and I saw it being pulled up through the ceiling by some invisible force. This was a lesson I took to heart in a desperate way. Every move I made was definitely being watched. Free!—I had just escaped death in one form of agony, only to be faced with something worse than death in another. With that thought, I nervously rolled my eyes around at the iron bars that surrounded me. Something unusual—some change that I couldn’t quite grasp at first—was clearly happening in the room. For many minutes, lost in a dreamy and trembling haze, I occupied myself with pointless, disconnected thoughts. During this time, I became aware, for the first time, of the source of the sulfurous light that lit up the cell. It came from a crack, about half an inch wide, that ran entirely around the prison at the bottom of the walls, which made them appear, and were indeed, completely separated from the floor. I tried, but of course in vain, to look through the gap.

As I arose from the attempt, the mystery of the alteration in the chamber broke at once upon my understanding. I have observed that, although the outlines of the figures upon the walls were sufficiently distinct, yet the colors seemed blurred and indefinite. These colors had now assumed, and were momentarily assuming, a startling and most intense brilliancy, that gave to the spectral and fiendish portraitures an aspect that might have thrilled even firmer nerves than my own. Demon eyes, of a wild and ghastly vivacity, glared upon me in a thousand directions, where none had been visible before, and gleamed with the lurid lustre of a fire that I could not force my imagination to regard as unreal.

As I got up from my effort, the mystery of the change in the room became clear to me. I noticed that, while the outlines of the figures on the walls were quite clear, the colors appeared blurred and vague. These colors had now taken on, and were continuously taking on, a striking and intense brightness that gave the ghostly and monstrous portraits a look that could have excited even tougher nerves than mine. Demon eyes, with a wild and horrifying liveliness, stared at me from every direction, where none had been visible before, and shone with a glowing intensity of a fire that I couldn't convince myself was imaginary.

Unreal!—Even while I breathed there came to my nostrils the breath of the vapour of heated iron! A suffocating odour pervaded the prison! A deeper glow settled each moment in the eyes that glared at my agonies! A richer tint of crimson diffused itself over the pictured horrors of blood. I panted! I gasped for breath! There could be no doubt of the design of my tormentors—oh! most unrelenting! oh! most demoniac of men! I shrank from the glowing metal to the centre of the cell. Amid the thought of the fiery destruction that impended, the idea of the coolness of the well came over my soul like balm. I rushed to its deadly brink. I threw my straining vision below. The glare from the enkindled roof illumined its inmost recesses. Yet, for a wild moment, did my spirit refuse to comprehend the meaning of what I saw. At length it forced—it wrestled its way into my soul—it burned itself in upon my shuddering reason. Oh! for a voice to speak!—oh! horror!—oh! any horror but this! With a shriek, I rushed from the margin, and buried my face in my hands—weeping bitterly.

Unreal!—Even as I breathed, I could smell the steam from the heated iron! A suffocating scent filled the prison! A deeper glow intensified in the eyes that watched my suffering! A richer shade of red spread over the horrific images of blood. I panted! I gasped for air! There was no doubt about the intentions of my tormentors—oh! most unyielding! oh! most demonic of men! I shrank away from the glowing metal to the center of the cell. Amid thoughts of the fiery destruction looming over me, the idea of the coolness of the well felt like a soothing balm for my soul. I rushed to its lethal edge. I strained to see below. The light from the burning ceiling illuminated its deepest parts. Yet, for a frantic moment, my spirit struggled to grasp the meaning of what I saw. Eventually, it broke through—it forced its way into my mind—it seared itself into my trembling awareness. Oh! if only I had a voice to cry out!—oh! horror!—oh! any horror but this! With a scream, I turned away from the edge and buried my face in my hands, weeping bitterly.

The heat rapidly increased, and once again I looked up, shuddering as with a fit of the ague. There had been a second change in the cell—and now the change was obviously in the form. As before, it was in vain that I, at first, endeavoured to appreciate or understand what was taking place. But not long was I left in doubt. The Inquisitorial vengeance had been hurried by my two-fold escape, and there was to be no more dallying with the King of Terrors. The room had been square. I saw that two of its iron angles were now acute—two, consequently, obtuse. The fearful difference quickly increased with a low rumbling or moaning sound. In an instant the apartment had shifted its form into that of a lozenge. But the alteration stopped not here—I neither hoped nor desired it to stop. I could have clasped the red walls to my bosom as a garment of eternal peace. “Death,” I said, “any death but that of the pit!” Fool! might I have not known that into the pit it was the object of the burning iron to urge me? Could I resist its glow? or, if even that, could I withstand its pressure? And now, flatter and flatter grew the lozenge, with a rapidity that left me no time for contemplation. Its centre, and of course, its greatest width, came just over the yawning gulf. I shrank back—but the closing walls pressed me resistlessly onward. At length for my seared and writhing body there was no longer an inch of foothold on the firm floor of the prison. I struggled no more, but the agony of my soul found vent in one loud, long, and final scream of despair. I felt that I tottered upon the brink—I averted my eyes—

The heat quickly intensified, and once again I looked up, shuddering as if I had a fever. There had been another change in the cell—and now the change was clearly in the shape. As before, I initially tried to perceive or understand what was happening in vain. But soon, I was no longer in doubt. The Inquisition’s wrath had been fueled by my two escapes, and there would be no more delay with the King of Terrors. The room had been square. I noticed that two of its iron corners were now acute—therefore, the other two were obtuse. The terrifying change quickly escalated with a low rumbling or moaning sound. In an instant, the room transformed into the shape of a diamond. But the transformation didn’t stop there—I neither hoped nor wanted it to stop. I could have embraced the red walls like a garment of eternal peace. “Death,” I said, “any death but that of the pit!” What a fool! Shouldn't I have known that the burning iron aimed to push me into the pit? Could I resist its heat? Or even if I could, could I withstand its pressure? Now, the diamond shape became flatter and flatter at a pace that left me no time to think. Its center, and thus its widest part, came directly over the gaping abyss. I flinched back—but the closing walls pushed me forward relentlessly. Finally, for my scorched and writhing body, there was no longer any foothold on the solid floor of the prison. I stopped struggling, but the torment of my soul erupted in one loud, long, final scream of despair. I felt like I was teetering on the edge—I turned my eyes away—

There was a discordant hum of human voices! There was a loud blast as of many trumpets! There was a harsh grating as of a thousand thunders! The fiery walls rushed back! An outstretched arm caught my own as I fell, fainting, into the abyss. It was that of General Lasalle. The French army had entered Toledo. The Inquisition was in the hands of its enemies.

There was a jarring mix of human voices! There was a loud blast like many trumpets! There was a harsh grinding noise like a thousand thunderclaps! The fiery walls fell back! An outstretched arm grabbed mine as I fell, fainting, into the void. It belonged to General Lasalle. The French army had entered Toledo. The Inquisition was now in the hands of its foes.

THE PREMATURE BURIAL

There are certain themes of which the interest is all-absorbing, but which are too entirely horrible for the purposes of legitimate fiction. These the mere romanticist must eschew, if he do not wish to offend or to disgust. They are with propriety handled only when the severity and majesty of Truth sanctify and sustain them. We thrill, for example, with the most intense of “pleasurable pain” over the accounts of the Passage of the Beresina, of the Earthquake at Lisbon, of the Plague at London, of the Massacre of St. Bartholomew, or of the stifling of the hundred and twenty-three prisoners in the Black Hole at Calcutta. But in these accounts it is the fact——it is the reality——it is the history which excites. As inventions, we should regard them with simple abhorrence.

There are certain themes that are extremely captivating but also too horrific for legitimate fiction. A true romantic writer should avoid these, unless they want to offend or disgust their audience. Such themes are best addressed only when the severity and gravity of truth can elevate and support them. For instance, we experience a deep sense of “pleasurable pain” when we read about the Passage of the Beresina, the Earthquake in Lisbon, the Plague in London, the Massacre of St. Bartholomew, or the suffocation of the 123 prisoners in the Black Hole of Calcutta. In these accounts, it is the facts—the reality—the history that stirs us. As fictional creations, we would find them utterly repulsive.

I have mentioned some few of the more prominent and august calamities on record; but in these it is the extent, not less than the character of the calamity, which so vividly impresses the fancy. I need not remind the reader that, from the long and weird catalogue of human miseries, I might have selected many individual instances more replete with essential suffering than any of these vast generalities of disaster. The true wretchedness, indeed—the ultimate woe——is particular, not diffuse. That the ghastly extremes of agony are endured by man the unit, and never by man the mass——for this let us thank a merciful God!

I have mentioned a few of the more significant and serious disasters on record; however, it is the magnitude, as much as the nature of the disaster, that so powerfully captures the imagination. I don’t need to remind the reader that, from the long and strange list of human suffering, I could have picked many individual cases that are filled with real pain compared to these broad generalizations of disaster. The true misery, in fact—the deepest sorrow—is specific, not widespread. The horrifying extremes of suffering are faced by individuals, not by people as a group—let’s be thankful to a merciful God for this!

To be buried while alive is, beyond question, the most terrific of these extremes which has ever fallen to the lot of mere mortality. That it has frequently, very frequently, so fallen will scarcely be denied by those who think. The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins? We know that there are diseases in which occur total cessations of all the apparent functions of vitality, and yet in which these cessations are merely suspensions, properly so called. They are only temporary pauses in the incomprehensible mechanism. A certain period elapses, and some unseen mysterious principle again sets in motion the magic pinions and the wizard wheels. The silver cord was not for ever loosed, nor the golden bowl irreparably broken. But where, meantime, was the soul?

To be buried alive is undoubtedly one of the most horrifying extremes that can happen to a person. It's hard to deny that this has happened frequently to those who reflect on it. The line between Life and Death is, at best, blurry and vague. Who can determine where one ends and the other starts? We know there are illnesses that cause a complete halt in all visible signs of life, yet in those cases, these halts are merely suspensions, so to speak. They are only temporary breaks in the mysterious workings of existence. After a certain time, some unseen force kicks back in to set everything in motion again. The silver cord wasn't permanently severed, nor was the golden bowl irreparably shattered. But during that time, where was the soul?

Apart, however, from the inevitable conclusion, a priori that such causes must produce such effects——that the well-known occurrence of such cases of suspended animation must naturally give rise, now and then, to premature interments—apart from this consideration, we have the direct testimony of medical and ordinary experience to prove that a vast number of such interments have actually taken place. I might refer at once, if necessary, to a hundred well-authenticated instances. One of very remarkable character, and of which the circumstances may be fresh in the memory of some of my readers, occurred, not very long ago, in the neighboring city of Baltimore, where it occasioned a painful, intense, and widely-extended excitement. The wife of one of the most respectable citizens—a lawyer of eminence and a member of Congress—was seized with a sudden and unaccountable illness, which completely baffled the skill of her physicians. After much suffering she died, or was supposed to die. No one suspected, indeed, or had reason to suspect, that she was not actually dead. She presented all the ordinary appearances of death. The face assumed the usual pinched and sunken outline. The lips were of the usual marble pallor. The eyes were lustreless. There was no warmth. Pulsation had ceased. For three days the body was preserved unburied, during which it had acquired a stony rigidity. The funeral, in short, was hastened, on account of the rapid advance of what was supposed to be decomposition.

However, aside from the obvious conclusion, a priori that such causes must lead to such effects—that the well-known instances of suspended animation are bound to occasionally result in premature burials—besides this point, we also have direct evidence from medical and everyday experiences showing that many of these burials have actually happened. I could easily point to a hundred well-documented cases if needed. One particularly notable case, which some of my readers might remember, happened not long ago in nearby Baltimore, causing a painful and intense uproar. The wife of one of the most respected citizens—a well-known lawyer and a member of Congress—suddenly fell ill without any clear reason, which completely stumped her doctors. After enduring much suffering, she died, or so everyone thought. No one suspected, or had any reason to doubt, that she was actually dead. She showed all the typical signs of death. Her face had the usual pinched and sunken look. Her lips were a typical marble pale. Her eyes were lifeless. There was no warmth. Her pulse had stopped. The body remained unburied for three days, during which it became rigid like stone. In short, the funeral was rushed due to the rapid onset of what was thought to be decomposition.

The lady was deposited in her family vault, which, for three subsequent years, was undisturbed. At the expiration of this term it was opened for the reception of a sarcophagus; but, alas! how fearful a shock awaited the husband, who, personally, threw open the door! As its portals swung outwardly back, some white-apparelled object fell rattling within his arms. It was the skeleton of his wife in her yet unmoulded shroud.

The lady was laid to rest in her family vault, which remained undisturbed for three years. After that period, it was opened to receive a sarcophagus; but, unfortunately, a terrible shock awaited her husband, who was the one to open the door. As it swung open, something white-clothed fell with a clatter into his arms. It was the skeleton of his wife still in her untouched shroud.

A careful investigation rendered it evident that she had revived within two days after her entombment; that her struggles within the coffin had caused it to fall from a ledge, or shelf to the floor, where it was so broken as to permit her escape. A lamp which had been accidentally left, full of oil, within the tomb, was found empty; it might have been exhausted, however, by evaporation. On the uttermost of the steps which led down into the dread chamber was a large fragment of the coffin, with which, it seemed, that she had endeavored to arrest attention by striking the iron door. While thus occupied, she probably swooned, or possibly died, through sheer terror; and, in failing, her shroud became entangled in some iron-work which projected interiorly. Thus she remained, and thus she rotted, erect.

A thorough investigation revealed that she had come back to life within two days after being buried. Her struggles inside the coffin caused it to fall from a ledge onto the floor, breaking it enough for her to escape. A lamp that had been accidentally left full of oil in the tomb was found empty; it could have been used up by evaporation. At the bottom of the steps leading into the scary chamber was a large piece of the coffin, which it seemed she had tried to use to get attention by banging against the iron door. While doing this, she likely fainted or possibly died from sheer terror, and in the process, her shroud got caught in some ironwork inside. So she stayed there, and that’s how she decayed, standing up.

In the year 1810, a case of living inhumation happened in France, attended with circumstances which go far to warrant the assertion that truth is, indeed, stranger than fiction. The heroine of the story was a Mademoiselle Victorine Lafourcade, a young girl of illustrious family, of wealth, and of great personal beauty. Among her numerous suitors was Julien Bossuet, a poor litterateur, or journalist of Paris. His talents and general amiability had recommended him to the notice of the heiress, by whom he seems to have been truly beloved; but her pride of birth decided her, finally, to reject him, and to wed a Monsieur Renelle, a banker and a diplomatist of some eminence. After marriage, however, this gentleman neglected, and, perhaps, even more positively ill-treated her. Having passed with him some wretched years, she died—at least her condition so closely resembled death as to deceive every one who saw her. She was buried——not in a vault, but in an ordinary grave in the village of her nativity. Filled with despair, and still inflamed by the memory of a profound attachment, the lover journeys from the capital to the remote province in which the village lies, with the romantic purpose of disinterring the corpse, and possessing himself of its luxuriant tresses. He reaches the grave. At midnight he unearths the coffin, opens it, and is in the act of detaching the hair, when he is arrested by the unclosing of the beloved eyes. In fact, the lady had been buried alive. Vitality had not altogether departed, and she was aroused by the caresses of her lover from the lethargy which had been mistaken for death. He bore her frantically to his lodgings in the village. He employed certain powerful restoratives suggested by no little medical learning. In fine, she revived. She recognized her preserver. She remained with him until, by slow degrees, she fully recovered her original health. Her woman’s heart was not adamant, and this last lesson of love sufficed to soften it. She bestowed it upon Bossuet. She returned no more to her husband, but, concealing from him her resurrection, fled with her lover to America. Twenty years afterward, the two returned to France, in the persuasion that time had so greatly altered the lady’s appearance that her friends would be unable to recognize her. They were mistaken, however, for, at the first meeting, Monsieur Renelle did actually recognize and make claim to his wife. This claim she resisted, and a judicial tribunal sustained her in her resistance, deciding that the peculiar circumstances, with the long lapse of years, had extinguished, not only equitably, but legally, the authority of the husband.

In 1810, a case of living burial happened in France, with circumstances that support the idea that truth is, indeed, stranger than fiction. The main character in this story was Mademoiselle Victorine Lafourcade, a young woman from a prominent family, who was wealthy and very beautiful. Among her many admirers was Julien Bossuet, a poor writer and journalist from Paris. His talents and likable personality caught the attention of the heiress, and she seemed to genuinely love him; however, her pride in her social status led her to ultimately reject him and marry Monsieur Renelle, a well-known banker and diplomat. After their marriage, though, this man neglected and possibly even mistreated her. After enduring several miserable years with him, she died—at least her condition was so close to death that everyone who saw her was deceived. She was buried—not in a vault, but in a regular grave in her hometown. Overcome with despair and still longing for her love, her admirer traveled from the city to the distant province where the village was located, with the romantic intention of digging up her body and taking possession of her beautiful hair. He arrived at the grave. At midnight, he unearthed the coffin, opened it, and was in the process of cutting the hair when he was stopped by the sight of her beloved eyes opening. In fact, she had been buried alive. Her life force hadn’t completely faded, and she was awakened by her lover’s touch from the state that had been mistaken for death. He rushed her to his place in the village. He used powerful remedies informed by his considerable medical knowledge. In the end, she revived. She recognized her savior. She stayed with him until, gradually, she fully regained her health. Her heart wasn’t hard, and this last demonstration of love was enough to soften it. She gave her heart to Bossuet. She never returned to her husband but, keeping her resurrection a secret from him, fled with her lover to America. Twenty years later, the two returned to France, believing that time had changed her appearance enough that her friends wouldn’t recognize her. They were wrong, however, for at their first encounter, Monsieur Renelle did recognize and claim his wife. She resisted his claim, and a court upheld her resistance, ruling that the unique circumstances and the long passage of time had effectively nullified both equitably and legally the husband’s authority.

The “Chirurgical Journal” of Leipsic, a periodical of high authority and merit, which some American bookseller would do well to translate and republish, records in a late number a very distressing event of the character in question.

The "Chirurgical Journal" from Leipzig, a highly respected and valuable publication, which an American bookseller would be smart to translate and re-release, reports in a recent issue a very upsetting event related to the subject at hand.

An officer of artillery, a man of gigantic stature and of robust health, being thrown from an unmanageable horse, received a very severe contusion upon the head, which rendered him insensible at once; the skull was slightly fractured, but no immediate danger was apprehended. Trepanning was accomplished successfully. He was bled, and many other of the ordinary means of relief were adopted. Gradually, however, he fell into a more and more hopeless state of stupor, and, finally, it was thought that he died.

An artillery officer, a man of enormous size and strong health, was thrown from a wild horse and suffered a serious head injury that knocked him out cold; his skull was slightly fractured, but there was no immediate concern for his safety. The surgery to relieve pressure was successful. He was bled, and several other common treatment methods were used. However, he gradually slipped into a deeper state of unconsciousness, and eventually, it was believed that he had died.

The weather was warm, and he was buried with indecent haste in one of the public cemeteries. His funeral took place on Thursday. On the Sunday following, the grounds of the cemetery were, as usual, much thronged with visitors, and about noon an intense excitement was created by the declaration of a peasant that, while sitting upon the grave of the officer, he had distinctly felt a commotion of the earth, as if occasioned by some one struggling beneath. At first little attention was paid to the man’s asseveration; but his evident terror, and the dogged obstinacy with which he persisted in his story, had at length their natural effect upon the crowd. Spades were hurriedly procured, and the grave, which was shamefully shallow, was in a few minutes so far thrown open that the head of its occupant appeared. He was then seemingly dead; but he sat nearly erect within his coffin, the lid of which, in his furious struggles, he had partially uplifted.

The weather was warm, and he was quickly buried in one of the public cemeteries. His funeral took place on Thursday. On the Sunday after, the cemetery was, as usual, crowded with visitors, and around noon, a peasant caused a stir by claiming that while sitting on the officer's grave, he had distinctly felt a movement in the ground, as if someone was struggling beneath. At first, not much attention was given to the man’s statement, but his apparent fear and the stubbornness with which he maintained his story eventually had their usual effect on the crowd. Shovels were quickly brought in, and the grave, which was shamefully shallow, was opened so that the occupant's head was visible within minutes. He seemed to be dead, but he was sitting almost upright in his coffin, the lid of which he had partially lifted in his frantic struggles.

He was forthwith conveyed to the nearest hospital, and there pronounced to be still living, although in an asphytic condition. After some hours he revived, recognized individuals of his acquaintance, and, in broken sentences spoke of his agonies in the grave.

He was quickly taken to the nearest hospital, where they confirmed that he was still alive, though in a serious condition. After a few hours, he started to recover, recognized people he knew, and in fragmented sentences, talked about his torments in the grave.

From what he related, it was clear that he must have been conscious of life for more than an hour, while inhumed, before lapsing into insensibility. The grave was carelessly and loosely filled with an exceedingly porous soil; and thus some air was necessarily admitted. He heard the footsteps of the crowd overhead, and endeavored to make himself heard in turn. It was the tumult within the grounds of the cemetery, he said, which appeared to awaken him from a deep sleep, but no sooner was he awake than he became fully aware of the awful horrors of his position.

From what he described, it was evident that he must have been aware of life for more than an hour while buried, before slipping into unconsciousness. The grave was haphazardly filled with very loose soil, allowing some air to get in. He heard the footsteps of the crowd above and tried to make himself heard in return. He mentioned that the noise from the cemetery grounds seemed to pull him from a deep sleep, but as soon as he was awake, he fully realized the terrifying reality of his situation.

This patient, it is recorded, was doing well and seemed to be in a fair way of ultimate recovery, but fell a victim to the quackeries of medical experiment. The galvanic battery was applied, and he suddenly expired in one of those ecstatic paroxysms which, occasionally, it superinduces.

This patient was noted to be doing well and appeared to be on the path to full recovery, but fell victim to the tricks of questionable medical experiments. A galvanic battery was used, and he suddenly died during one of those ecstatic convulsions that it sometimes causes.

The mention of the galvanic battery, nevertheless, recalls to my memory a well known and very extraordinary case in point, where its action proved the means of restoring to animation a young attorney of London, who had been interred for two days. This occurred in 1831, and created, at the time, a very profound sensation wherever it was made the subject of converse.

The mention of the galvanic battery reminds me of a well-known and extraordinary case where its use helped bring a young attorney from London back to life after he had been buried for two days. This happened in 1831 and caused quite a stir wherever it was talked about.

The patient, Mr. Edward Stapleton, had died, apparently of typhus fever, accompanied with some anomalous symptoms which had excited the curiosity of his medical attendants. Upon his seeming decease, his friends were requested to sanction a post-mortem examination, but declined to permit it. As often happens, when such refusals are made, the practitioners resolved to disinter the body and dissect it at leisure, in private. Arrangements were easily effected with some of the numerous corps of body-snatchers, with which London abounds; and, upon the third night after the funeral, the supposed corpse was unearthed from a grave eight feet deep, and deposited in the opening chamber of one of the private hospitals.

The patient, Mr. Edward Stapleton, had died, apparently from typhus fever, along with some unusual symptoms that intrigued his medical staff. After his apparent death, his friends were asked to allow a post-mortem examination, but they refused. As often happens in such cases, the doctors decided to dig up the body and perform the dissection privately. They quickly made arrangements with some of the many body-snatchers that are common in London, and on the third night after the funeral, the supposed corpse was unearthed from a grave eight feet deep and taken to the examination room of one of the private hospitals.

An incision of some extent had been actually made in the abdomen, when the fresh and undecayed appearance of the subject suggested an application of the battery. One experiment succeeded another, and the customary effects supervened, with nothing to characterize them in any respect, except, upon one or two occasions, a more than ordinary degree of life-likeness in the convulsive action.

An incision had been made in the abdomen when the fresh and unspoiled appearance of the subject suggested using the battery. One experiment followed another, and the usual effects occurred, with nothing to distinguish them except, on one or two occasions, a more than usual degree of lifelike movement during the convulsive action.

It grew late. The day was about to dawn; and it was thought expedient, at length, to proceed at once to the dissection. A student, however, was especially desirous of testing a theory of his own, and insisted upon applying the battery to one of the pectoral muscles. A rough gash was made, and a wire hastily brought in contact, when the patient, with a hurried but quite unconvulsive movement, arose from the table, stepped into the middle of the floor, gazed about him uneasily for a few seconds, and then—spoke. What he said was unintelligible, but words were uttered; the syllabification was distinct. Having spoken, he fell heavily to the floor.

It was getting late. Daybreak was about to happen, and it seemed wise to go ahead with the dissection. One student, however, was eager to test his own theory and insisted on using the battery on one of the chest muscles. A rough cut was made, and a wire was quickly connected, when the patient suddenly, but without convulsions, rose from the table, stepped into the middle of the room, looked around anxiously for a few seconds, and then—spoke. What he said was unclear, but he definitely formed words; the syllables were clear. After speaking, he collapsed heavily to the floor.

For some moments all were paralyzed with awe—but the urgency of the case soon restored them their presence of mind. It was seen that Mr. Stapleton was alive, although in a swoon. Upon exhibition of ether he revived and was rapidly restored to health, and to the society of his friends—from whom, however, all knowledge of his resuscitation was withheld, until a relapse was no longer to be apprehended. Their wonder—their rapturous astonishment—may be conceived.

For a moment, everyone was frozen in awe—but the urgency of the situation quickly brought them back to their senses. They realized that Mr. Stapleton was alive, though he was unconscious. After some ether was administered, he came to and quickly regained his health and joined his friends—though they were kept in the dark about his revival until there was no longer any concern for a relapse. Their amazement—their ecstatic shock—can be imagined.

The most thrilling peculiarity of this incident, nevertheless, is involved in what Mr. S. himself asserts. He declares that at no period was he altogether insensible—that, dully and confusedly, he was aware of everything which happened to him, from the moment in which he was pronounced dead by his physicians, to that in which he fell swooning to the floor of the hospital. “I am alive,” were the uncomprehended words which, upon recognizing the locality of the dissecting-room, he had endeavored, in his extremity, to utter.

The most exciting part of this incident, however, revolves around what Mr. S. himself claims. He states that he was never completely unconscious— that he was vaguely aware of everything that happened to him, from the moment the doctors declared him dead to when he collapsed on the floor of the hospital. “I am alive,” were the incomprehensible words he tried to say in his panic when he realized he was in the dissecting room.

It were an easy matter to multiply such histories as these—but I forbear—for, indeed, we have no need of such to establish the fact that premature interments occur. When we reflect how very rarely, from the nature of the case, we have it in our power to detect them, we must admit that they may frequently occur without our cognizance. Scarcely, in truth, is a graveyard ever encroached upon, for any purpose, to any great extent, that skeletons are not found in postures which suggest the most fearful of suspicions.

It would be easy to share more stories like these, but I won’t, because we really don’t need them to prove that premature burials happen. When we think about how rarely we have the chance to uncover these cases, we have to accept that they can often happen without us knowing. Hardly ever, in fact, is a cemetery disturbed for any reason to any great degree without skeletons being found in positions that raise the most horrifying concerns.

Fearful indeed the suspicion—but more fearful the doom! It may be asserted, without hesitation, that no event is so terribly well adapted to inspire the supremeness of bodily and of mental distress, as is burial before death. The unendurable oppression of the lungs—the stifling fumes from the damp earth—the clinging to the death garments—the rigid embrace of the narrow house—the blackness of the absolute Night—the silence like a sea that overwhelms—the unseen but palpable presence of the Conqueror Worm—these things, with the thoughts of the air and grass above, with memory of dear friends who would fly to save us if but informed of our fate, and with consciousness that of this fate they can never be informed—that our hopeless portion is that of the really dead—these considerations, I say, carry into the heart, which still palpitates, a degree of appalling and intolerable horror from which the most daring imagination must recoil. We know of nothing so agonizing upon Earth—we can dream of nothing half so hideous in the realms of the nethermost Hell. And thus all narratives upon this topic have an interest profound; an interest, nevertheless, which, through the sacred awe of the topic itself, very properly and very peculiarly depends upon our conviction of the truth of the matter narrated. What I have now to tell is of my own actual knowledge—of my own positive and personal experience.

Fearful indeed is the suspicion—but even more frightening is the fate! It can be said without doubt that nothing is as terrifyingly effective at causing extreme physical and mental distress as being buried alive. The unbearable pressure on the lungs—the suffocating fumes from the damp earth—the clinginess of the burial clothes—the tight confinement of the coffin—the pitch-black darkness of complete Night—the silence that drowns everything—the unseen yet tangible presence of the Conqueror Worm—these factors, combined with thoughts of the air and grass above, memories of loved ones who would rush to rescue us if only they knew our fate, and the painful awareness that they can never be informed of this fate—that we are forever trapped in the realm of the truly dead—these thoughts evoke a level of horrifying and unbearable dread that even the boldest imagination must shy away from. There is nothing so agonizing on Earth—we can’t even imagine anything half as horrible in the depths of Hell. Therefore, all stories on this subject hold a profound interest; an interest, however, that rightly and uniquely hinges on our belief in the truth of what is being told. What I’m about to share is from my own personal experience and knowledge.

For several years I had been subject to attacks of the singular disorder which physicians have agreed to term catalepsy, in default of a more definitive title. Although both the immediate and the predisposing causes, and even the actual diagnosis, of this disease are still mysterious, its obvious and apparent character is sufficiently well understood. Its variations seem to be chiefly of degree. Sometimes the patient lies, for a day only, or even for a shorter period, in a species of exaggerated lethargy. He is senseless and externally motionless; but the pulsation of the heart is still faintly perceptible; some traces of warmth remain; a slight color lingers within the centre of the cheek; and, upon application of a mirror to the lips, we can detect a torpid, unequal, and vacillating action of the lungs. Then again the duration of the trance is for weeks—even for months; while the closest scrutiny, and the most rigorous medical tests, fail to establish any material distinction between the state of the sufferer and what we conceive of absolute death. Very usually he is saved from premature interment solely by the knowledge of his friends that he has been previously subject to catalepsy, by the consequent suspicion excited, and, above all, by the non-appearance of decay. The advances of the malady are, luckily, gradual. The first manifestations, although marked, are unequivocal. The fits grow successively more and more distinctive, and endure each for a longer term than the preceding. In this lies the principal security from inhumation. The unfortunate whose first attack should be of the extreme character which is occasionally seen, would almost inevitably be consigned alive to the tomb.

For several years, I have been experiencing episodes of a rare condition that doctors have chosen to call catalepsy, as there's no better name for it. While the exact causes and diagnosis of this illness remain unclear, its evident characteristics are well understood. The variations in the condition primarily differ in intensity. Sometimes, a person may lie in a state of extreme lethargy for just a day or even less. They are unresponsive and completely still, yet the heartbeat is still faintly detectable; some warmth remains; a slight blush can be seen in the center of the cheek; and when a mirror is held to their lips, there’s a sluggish, uneven, and fluctuating breathing pattern. Other times, the state can last for weeks, or even months, and despite the closest examinations and rigorous medical tests, there’s no obvious distinction between the person’s condition and what we consider to be actual death. Often, they are saved from being buried alive solely because their friends are aware of their history with catalepsy, which raises suspicion, and mostly due to the lack of signs of decay. Fortunately, the progression of the illness is gradual. The initial signs, while noticeable, are clear. The episodes become increasingly distinctive and last longer each time. This gradual progression is what mainly protects against premature burial. If someone's first episode were to be of the severe type that occasionally occurs, they would almost certainly be buried alive.

My own case differed in no important particular from those mentioned in medical books. Sometimes, without any apparent cause, I sank, little by little, into a condition of semi-syncope, or half swoon; and, in this condition, without pain, without ability to stir, or, strictly speaking, to think, but with a dull lethargic consciousness of life and of the presence of those who surrounded my bed, I remained, until the crisis of the disease restored me, suddenly, to perfect sensation. At other times I was quickly and impetuously smitten. I grew sick, and numb, and chilly, and dizzy, and so fell prostrate at once. Then, for weeks, all was void, and black, and silent, and Nothing became the universe. Total annihilation could be no more. From these latter attacks I awoke, however, with a gradation slow in proportion to the suddenness of the seizure. Just as the day dawns to the friendless and houseless beggar who roams the streets throughout the long desolate winter night—just so tardily—just so wearily—just so cheerily came back the light of the Soul to me.

My situation wasn't really any different from what you find in medical textbooks. Sometimes, without any clear reason, I would gradually fade into a state of semi-fainting; I felt no pain, couldn't move, or really think, but I had a vague awareness of life and the people around my bed. I stayed like this until the crisis of the illness brought me back to full awareness. Other times, it hit me quickly and violently. I would start to feel sick, numb, cold, and dizzy, and just collapse. Then, for weeks, everything was empty, dark, and silent, and nothingness felt like the whole universe. From those later episodes, I woke up slowly, in proportion to how suddenly I had fallen. Just like the day breaks for a lonely beggar wandering the streets on a long, desolate winter night—so slowly, so wearily, and yet so hopefully, the light of my soul returned to me.

Apart from the tendency to trance, however, my general health appeared to be good; nor could I perceive that it was at all affected by the one prevalent malady—unless, indeed, an idiosyncrasy in my ordinary sleep may be looked upon as superinduced. Upon awaking from slumber, I could never gain, at once, thorough possession of my senses, and always remained, for many minutes, in much bewilderment and perplexity—the mental faculties in general, but the memory in especial, being in a condition of absolute abeyance.

Aside from the tendency to fall into a trance, my overall health seemed to be good; I couldn’t tell that it was affected by the one common illness—unless, of course, some quirks in my usual sleep can be considered a result. When I woke up from sleep, I could never fully regain my senses right away and would remain, for many minutes, in a state of confusion and disorientation—my mental faculties, especially my memory, being completely inactive.

In all that I endured there was no physical suffering but of moral distress an infinitude. My fancy grew charnel, I talked “of worms, of tombs, and epitaphs.” I was lost in reveries of death, and the idea of premature burial held continual possession of my brain. The ghastly Danger to which I was subjected haunted me day and night. In the former, the torture of meditation was excessive—in the latter, supreme. When the grim Darkness overspread the Earth, then, with every horror of thought, I shook—shook as the quivering plumes upon the hearse. When Nature could endure wakefulness no longer, it was with a struggle that I consented to sleep—for I shuddered to reflect that, upon awaking, I might find myself the tenant of a grave. And when, finally, I sank into slumber, it was only to rush at once into a world of phantasms, above which, with vast, sable, overshadowing wing, hovered, predominant, the one sepulchral Idea.

In everything I went through, I didn’t feel physical pain, but I was overwhelmed by moral distress. My imagination turned dark; I talked about “worms, tombs, and epitaphs.” I was consumed by thoughts of death, and the idea of being buried alive took over my mind. The horrifying danger I was facing haunted me day and night. During the day, the torment of thinking was extreme—at night, it was even worse. When the dark fell over the Earth, I trembled with every horrifying thought, shaking like the quivering plumes on a hearse. When Nature could no longer stay awake, it was a struggle for me to agree to sleep—because I dreaded the thought that when I woke up, I might find myself in a grave. And when I finally fell asleep, it was only to immediately enter a world of nightmares, above which loomed, in a vast, dark shadow, the dominant idea of death.

From the innumerable images of gloom which thus oppressed me in dreams, I select for record but a solitary vision. Methought I was immersed in a cataleptic trance of more than usual duration and profundity. Suddenly there came an icy hand upon my forehead, and an impatient, gibbering voice whispered the word “Arise!” within my ear.

From the countless dark images that weighed on me in my dreams, I choose to share just one vision. I felt like I was stuck in a deep, cataleptic trance that lasted longer than usual. Suddenly, I felt a cold hand on my forehead, and an impatient, chattering voice whispered the word "Arise!" in my ear.

I sat erect. The darkness was total. I could not see the figure of him who had aroused me. I could call to mind neither the period at which I had fallen into the trance, nor the locality in which I then lay. While I remained motionless, and busied in endeavors to collect my thought, the cold hand grasped me fiercely by the wrist, shaking it petulantly, while the gibbering voice said again:

I sat up straight. The darkness was complete. I couldn’t see the person who had woken me up. I couldn’t remember when I had fallen into a trance or where I was lying. As I stayed still, trying to gather my thoughts, a cold hand gripped my wrist tightly, shaking it impatiently, while a chattering voice said again:

“Arise! did I not bid thee arise?”

“Get up! Didn't I tell you to get up?”

“And who,” I demanded, “art thou?”

“And who,” I asked, “are you?”

“I have no name in the regions which I inhabit,” replied the voice, mournfully; “I was mortal, but am fiend. I was merciless, but am pitiful. Thou dost feel that I shudder. My teeth chatter as I speak, yet it is not with the chilliness of the night—of the night without end. But this hideousness is insufferable. How canst thou tranquilly sleep? I cannot rest for the cry of these great agonies. These sights are more than I can bear. Get thee up! Come with me into the outer Night, and let me unfold to thee the graves. Is not this a spectacle of woe?—Behold!”

“I have no name in the places I dwell,” replied the voice, sadly; “I was human, but now I’m a monster. I was ruthless, but now I’m pitiful. You can sense that I tremble. My teeth chatter as I speak, but it’s not from the coldness of the night—of the endless night. This horror is unbearable. How can you sleep so peacefully? I can’t rest because of these intense sufferings. These sights are more than I can handle. Get up! Come with me into the outer Night, and let me reveal to you the graves. Isn’t this a sight of sorrow?—Look!”

I looked; and the unseen figure, which still grasped me by the wrist, had caused to be thrown open the graves of all mankind; and from each issued the faint phosphoric radiance of decay; so that I could see into the innermost recesses, and there view the shrouded bodies in their sad and solemn slumbers with the worm. But alas! the real sleepers were fewer, by many millions, than those who slumbered not at all; and there was a feeble struggling; and there was a general sad unrest; and from out the depths of the countless pits there came a melancholy rustling from the garments of the buried. And of those who seemed tranquilly to repose, I saw that a vast number had changed, in a greater or less degree, the rigid and uneasy position in which they had originally been entombed. And the voice again said to me as I gazed:

I looked, and the unseen figure, still holding my wrist, had opened the graves of all humanity; and from each one came a faint, eerie glow of decay, allowing me to see deep inside and view the shrouded bodies in their sad, solemn slumber alongside the worms. But sadly, the actual sleepers were millions fewer than those who were awake. There was a weak struggle, a general feeling of unrest, and from the depths of the countless graves came a sorrowful rustling from the clothing of the buried. Among those who appeared to rest peacefully, I noticed that many had shifted, some more than others, from the stiff and uncomfortable positions in which they had originally been laid to rest. And once again, the voice spoke to me as I stared:

“Is it not—oh! is it not a pitiful sight?” But, before I could find words to reply, the figure had ceased to grasp my wrist, the phosphoric lights expired, and the graves were closed with a sudden violence, while from out them arose a tumult of despairing cries, saying again: “Is it not—O, God, is it not a very pitiful sight?”

“Is it not—oh! is it not a pitiful sight?” But, before I could find the words to respond, the figure let go of my wrist, the glowing lights faded, and the graves slammed shut with sudden force, while from them came a chorus of desperate cries, repeating: “Is it not—O, God, is it not a very pitiful sight?”

Phantasies such as these, presenting themselves at night, extended their terrific influence far into my waking hours. My nerves became thoroughly unstrung, and I fell a prey to perpetual horror. I hesitated to ride, or to walk, or to indulge in any exercise that would carry me from home. In fact, I no longer dared trust myself out of the immediate presence of those who were aware of my proneness to catalepsy, lest, falling into one of my usual fits, I should be buried before my real condition could be ascertained. I doubted the care, the fidelity of my dearest friends. I dreaded that, in some trance of more than customary duration, they might be prevailed upon to regard me as irrecoverable. I even went so far as to fear that, as I occasioned much trouble, they might be glad to consider any very protracted attack as sufficient excuse for getting rid of me altogether. It was in vain they endeavored to reassure me by the most solemn promises. I exacted the most sacred oaths, that under no circumstances they would bury me until decomposition had so materially advanced as to render farther preservation impossible. And, even then, my mortal terrors would listen to no reason—would accept no consolation. I entered into a series of elaborate precautions. Among other things, I had the family vault so remodelled as to admit of being readily opened from within. The slightest pressure upon a long lever that extended far into the tomb would cause the iron portal to fly back. There were arrangements also for the free admission of air and light, and convenient receptacles for food and water, within immediate reach of the coffin intended for my reception. This coffin was warmly and softly padded, and was provided with a lid, fashioned upon the principle of the vault-door, with the addition of springs so contrived that the feeblest movement of the body would be sufficient to set it at liberty. Besides all this, there was suspended from the roof of the tomb, a large bell, the rope of which, it was designed, should extend through a hole in the coffin, and so be fastened to one of the hands of the corpse. But, alas? what avails the vigilance against the Destiny of man? Not even these well-contrived securities sufficed to save from the uttermost agonies of living inhumation, a wretch to these agonies foredoomed!

Dreams like these, showing up at night, had a lasting impact on my waking hours. My nerves were completely shot, and I was engulfed in constant fear. I was hesitant to ride, walk, or do any activity that would take me away from home. In fact, I no longer trusted myself to be outside the presence of those who knew about my susceptibility to catalepsy, fearing that if I fell into one of my typical episodes, I might be buried before anyone figured out what was really going on. I questioned the care and loyalty of my closest friends. I worried that during a particularly long trance, they might convince themselves that I was beyond recovery. I even feared that since I caused them so much trouble, they might actually be relieved to treat any prolonged episode as an excuse to get rid of me for good. Despite their attempts to reassure me with solemn promises, I demanded the most sacred oaths that under no circumstances would they bury me until decay had progressed enough to make further preservation impossible. Even then, my deep-seated fears wouldn't listen to reason or accept comfort. I took a series of elaborate precautions. Among other things, I had the family vault redesigned so it could be easily opened from the inside. The slightest pressure on a long lever extending deep into the tomb would make the iron door swing open. There were also provisions for the flow of air and light, as well as convenient spaces for food and water, all within easy reach of the coffin meant for me. This coffin was warmly and softly padded, and it had a lid modeled after the vault door, with springs designed so that even the slightest movement would be enough to release it. Additionally, a large bell was hung from the ceiling of the tomb, with a rope that was intended to pass through a hole in the coffin and be attached to one of the corpse's hands. But, alas, what good is vigilance against the Destiny of man? Not even these well-planned protections were enough to save a doomed soul from the unimaginable torment of being buried alive!

There arrived an epoch—as often before there had arrived—in which I found myself emerging from total unconsciousness into the first feeble and indefinite sense of existence. Slowly—with a tortoise gradation—approached the faint gray dawn of the psychal day. A torpid uneasiness. An apathetic endurance of dull pain. No care—no hope—no effort. Then, after a long interval, a ringing in the ears; then, after a lapse still longer, a prickling or tingling sensation in the extremities; then a seemingly eternal period of pleasurable quiescence, during which the awakening feelings are struggling into thought; then a brief re-sinking into non-entity; then a sudden recovery. At length the slight quivering of an eyelid, and immediately thereupon, an electric shock of a terror, deadly and indefinite, which sends the blood in torrents from the temples to the heart. And now the first positive effort to think. And now the first endeavor to remember. And now a partial and evanescent success. And now the memory has so far regained its dominion, that, in some measure, I am cognizant of my state. I feel that I am not awaking from ordinary sleep. I recollect that I have been subject to catalepsy. And now, at last, as if by the rush of an ocean, my shuddering spirit is overwhelmed by the one grim Danger—by the one spectral and ever-prevalent idea.

There came a time—like so many before it—when I realized I was coming out of complete unconsciousness into the very first weak and unclear awareness of existence. Gradually—at a snail's pace—the faint gray light of awareness began to break. A sluggish sense of unease. A dull pain that I could only endure indifferently. No concern—no hope—no effort. Then, after a long wait, a ringing in my ears; after an even longer gap, a prickling or tingling in my limbs; then a seemingly endless period of pleasant stillness, during which my awakening feelings fought to turn into thoughts; then a brief return to nothingness; then a sudden comeback. Finally, a slight twitch of an eyelid, and immediately, an electric jolt of terror, overwhelming and unclear, that sends the blood racing from my temples to my heart. And now, the first real attempt to think. And now, the first effort to remember. And now, a partial and fleeting success. And now, my memory has returned enough that I’m somewhat aware of my situation. I realize I’m not waking from a normal sleep. I remember that I’ve experienced catalepsy. And now, as if swept away by a wave, my trembling spirit is engulfed by the single grim Danger—the one haunting and ever-present thought.

For some minutes after this fancy possessed me, I remained without motion. And why? I could not summon courage to move. I dared not make the effort which was to satisfy me of my fate—and yet there was something at my heart which whispered me it was sure. Despair—such as no other species of wretchedness ever calls into being—despair alone urged me, after long irresolution, to uplift the heavy lids of my eyes. I uplifted them. It was dark—all dark. I knew that the fit was over. I knew that the crisis of my disorder had long passed. I knew that I had now fully recovered the use of my visual faculties—and yet it was dark—all dark—the intense and utter raylessness of the Night that endureth for evermore.

For a few minutes after this thought took over, I stayed completely still. And why? I couldn’t find the courage to move. I didn’t dare to make the effort to confirm my fate—and yet something in my heart was telling me it was certain. Despair— like no other kind of misery—despair alone pushed me, after a long hesitation, to open my heavy eyelids. I opened them. It was dark—all dark. I knew the episode was over. I knew the worst of my condition had long passed. I knew I had completely regained my eyesight—and yet it was dark—all dark— the deep and endless darkness of Night that lasts forever.

I endeavored to shriek; and my lips and my parched tongue moved convulsively together in the attempt—but no voice issued from the cavernous lungs, which oppressed as if by the weight of some incumbent mountain, gasped and palpitated, with the heart, at every elaborate and struggling inspiration.

I tried to scream, and my lips and dry tongue moved together in the effort—but no sound came from my deep lungs, which felt like they were crushed under the weight of a heavy mountain, gasping and racing with my heart with each strained breath I took.

The movement of the jaws, in this effort to cry aloud, showed me that they were bound up, as is usual with the dead. I felt, too, that I lay upon some hard substance; and by something similar my sides were, also, closely compressed. So far, I had not ventured to stir any of my limbs—but now I violently threw up my arms, which had been lying at length, with the wrists crossed. They struck a solid wooden substance, which extended above my person at an elevation of not more than six inches from my face. I could no longer doubt that I reposed within a coffin at last.

The movement of my jaws, in this attempt to shout, made it clear to me that they were tied up, like what happens with the dead. I also realized that I was lying on something hard, and my sides were being pressed tightly by something similar. Until then, I hadn’t dared to move any of my limbs—but now I forcefully shot up my arms, which had been lying flat with my wrists crossed. They hit a solid wooden surface that was only about six inches above my face. I could no longer deny that I was lying in a coffin.

And now, amid all my infinite miseries, came sweetly the cherub Hope—for I thought of my precautions. I writhed, and made spasmodic exertions to force open the lid: it would not move. I felt my wrists for the bell-rope: it was not to be found. And now the Comforter fled for ever, and a still sterner Despair reigned triumphant; for I could not help perceiving the absence of the paddings which I had so carefully prepared—and then, too, there came suddenly to my nostrils the strong peculiar odor of moist earth. The conclusion was irresistible. I was not within the vault. I had fallen into a trance while absent from home—while among strangers—when, or how, I could not remember—and it was they who had buried me as a dog—nailed up in some common coffin—and thrust deep, deep, and for ever, into some ordinary and nameless grave.

And now, in the midst of all my endless suffering, the sweet presence of Hope appeared—because I remembered my precautions. I struggled and made frantic attempts to force the lid open: it wouldn't budge. I searched my wrists for the bell-rope: it was nowhere to be found. And now the Comforter had fled forever, leaving behind a harsher Despair that reigned supreme; I couldn't help but notice the missing padding that I had prepared so carefully—and then, suddenly, I caught a strong, distinct smell of damp earth. The conclusion was undeniable. I was not in the vault. I had gone into a trance while away from home—among strangers—when, or how, I couldn't recall—and it was them who had buried me like a dog—sealed up in some ordinary coffin—and pushed deep, deep, and forever, into some unremarkable and nameless grave.

As this awful conviction forced itself, thus, into the innermost chambers of my soul, I once again struggled to cry aloud. And in this second endeavor I succeeded. A long, wild, and continuous shriek, or yell of agony, resounded through the realms of the subterranean Night.

As this terrible realization took hold of my soul, I tried once more to scream. This time, I succeeded. A long, wild, and continuous cry of pain echoed through the depths of the underground Night.

“Hillo! hillo, there!” said a gruff voice, in reply.

“Hello! hello, there!” said a gruff voice in response.

“What the devil’s the matter now!” said a second.

“What the hell's the problem now!” said a second.

“Get out o’ that!” said a third.

“Get out of that!” said a third.

“What do you mean by yowling in that ere kind of style, like a cattymount?” said a fourth; and hereupon I was seized and shaken without ceremony, for several minutes, by a junto of very rough-looking individuals. They did not arouse me from my slumber—for I was wide awake when I screamed—but they restored me to the full possession of my memory.

“What do you mean by howling like that, like a crazy cat?” said a fourth person; and then I was grabbed and shaken without any courtesy for several minutes by a group of very rough-looking people. They didn’t wake me from my sleep—because I was wide awake when I screamed—but they brought back all my memories.

This adventure occurred near Richmond, in Virginia. Accompanied by a friend, I had proceeded, upon a gunning expedition, some miles down the banks of the James River. Night approached, and we were overtaken by a storm. The cabin of a small sloop lying at anchor in the stream, and laden with garden mould, afforded us the only available shelter. We made the best of it, and passed the night on board. I slept in one of the only two berths in the vessel—and the berths of a sloop of sixty or twenty tons need scarcely be described. That which I occupied had no bedding of any kind. Its extreme width was eighteen inches. The distance of its bottom from the deck overhead was precisely the same. I found it a matter of exceeding difficulty to squeeze myself in. Nevertheless, I slept soundly, and the whole of my vision—for it was no dream, and no nightmare—arose naturally from the circumstances of my position—from my ordinary bias of thought—and from the difficulty, to which I have alluded, of collecting my senses, and especially of regaining my memory, for a long time after awaking from slumber. The men who shook me were the crew of the sloop, and some laborers engaged to unload it. From the load itself came the earthly smell. The bandage about the jaws was a silk handkerchief in which I had bound up my head, in default of my customary nightcap.

This adventure took place near Richmond, Virginia. I was with a friend on a hunting trip, traveling a few miles down the banks of the James River. As night fell, we were caught in a storm. The cabin of a small sloop anchored in the water, loaded with garden soil, was our only option for shelter. We made the best of it and spent the night on board. I slept in one of the only two bunks on the boat—and let’s be honest, the bunks on a sloop of sixty or twenty tons don’t need much description. My bunk didn’t have any bedding. It was just eighteen inches wide and the space from the bottom to the overhead deck was the same. I found it extremely difficult to squeeze myself in. Still, I slept soundly, and everything I saw—because it wasn’t a dream or nightmare—came from my situation, my usual way of thinking, and from the difficulty I mentioned in gathering my thoughts and getting my memory back after waking up. The men who shook me were the crew of the sloop and some workers hired to unload it. The earthy smell came from the load itself. The bandage around my jaw was a silk handkerchief I had used to wrap my head since I didn’t have my usual nightcap.

The tortures endured, however, were indubitably quite equal for the time, to those of actual sepulture. They were fearfully—they were inconceivably hideous; but out of Evil proceeded Good; for their very excess wrought in my spirit an inevitable revulsion. My soul acquired tone—acquired temper. I went abroad. I took vigorous exercise. I breathed the free air of Heaven. I thought upon other subjects than Death. I discarded my medical books. “Buchan” I burned. I read no “Night Thoughts”—no fustian about churchyards—no bugaboo tales—such as this. In short, I became a new man, and lived a man’s life. From that memorable night, I dismissed forever my charnel apprehensions, and with them vanished the cataleptic disorder, of which, perhaps, they had been less the consequence than the cause.

The suffering endured, however, was undeniably just as severe at the time as actual burial. It was terrifying—it was unimaginably awful; but from Evil came Good; for its very intensity created in my spirit an unavoidable disgust. My soul became stronger—became more resilient. I went out into the world. I exercised vigorously. I breathed the fresh air of Heaven. I focused on topics other than Death. I tossed aside my medical books. I burned “Buchan.” I didn’t read “Night Thoughts”—no pretentious talk about graveyards—no scary stories—like this one. In short, I became a new person, and I lived my life fully. From that unforgettable night, I forever let go of my morbid fears, and with them disappeared the cataleptic condition, which maybe was less a result of those fears than their cause.

There are moments when, even to the sober eye of Reason, the world of our sad Humanity may assume the semblance of a Hell—but the imagination of man is no Carathis, to explore with impunity its every cavern. Alas! the grim legion of sepulchral terrors cannot be regarded as altogether fanciful—but, like the Demons in whose company Afrasiab made his voyage down the Oxus, they must sleep, or they will devour us—they must be suffered to slumber, or we perish.

There are times when, even to the clear sight of reason, our troubled humanity can look like a hell—but human imagination isn't fearless enough to explore every dark corner. Unfortunately, the haunting fears we face can't be dismissed as completely imaginary—but, like the demons that accompanied Afrasiab on his journey down the Oxus, they need to be kept asleep, or they will consume us—they must be allowed to rest, or we will be lost.

THE DOMAIN OF ARNHEIM

The garden like a lady fair was cut,
    That lay as if she slumbered in delight,
And to the open skies her eyes did shut.
    The azure fields of Heaven were ’sembled right
    In a large round, set with the flowers of light.
The flowers de luce, and the round sparks of dew
That hung upon their azure leaves did shew
Like twinkling stars that sparkle in the evening blue.
                    —Giles Fletcher.

The garden, like a beautiful lady, was trimmed,
Lying as if she was peacefully asleep,
And her eyes were closed to the open sky.
The blue fields of Heaven were gathered perfectly
In a large circle, surrounded by flowers of light.
The irises and the shining drops of dew
That hung on their blue leaves appeared
Like twinkling stars sparkling in the evening blue.
Giles Fletcher.

From his cradle to his grave a gale of prosperity bore my friend Ellison along. Nor do I use the word prosperity in its mere worldly sense. I mean it as synonymous with happiness. The person of whom I speak seemed born for the purpose of foreshadowing the doctrines of Turgot, Price, Priestley, and Condorcet—of exemplifying by individual instance what has been deemed the chimera of the perfectionists. In the brief existence of Ellison I fancy that I have seen refuted the dogma, that in man’s very nature lies some hidden principle, the antagonist of bliss. An anxious examination of his career has given me to understand that in general, from the violation of a few simple laws of humanity arises the wretchedness of mankind—that as a species we have in our possession the as yet unwrought elements of content—and that, even now, in the present darkness and madness of all thought on the great question of the social condition, it is not impossible that man, the individual, under certain unusual and highly fortuitous conditions, may be happy.

From his cradle to his grave, my friend Ellison was carried along by a wave of prosperity. I don't mean prosperity in just the financial sense; I mean it as a synonym for happiness. The person I'm talking about seemed destined to illustrate the ideas of Turgot, Price, Priestley, and Condorcet—showing through his life what has often been thought to be the unrealistic dream of perfectionists. In Ellison's brief life, I believe I’ve seen the idea disproven that there's an inherent principle in human nature that's opposed to happiness. A close look at his life has helped me understand that, generally, the suffering of humanity comes from breaking a few basic laws of compassion. As a species, we have the untapped potential for contentment—and even now, amidst the current confusion and chaos surrounding our social conditions, it’s still possible for an individual, under special and fortunate circumstances, to be happy.

With opinions such as these my young friend, too, was fully imbued, and thus it is worthy of observation that the uninterrupted enjoyment which distinguished his life was, in great measure, the result of preconcert. It is indeed evident that with less of the instinctive philosophy which, now and then, stands so well in the stead of experience, Mr. Ellison would have found himself precipitated, by the very extraordinary success of his life, into the common vortex of unhappiness which yawns for those of pre-eminent endowments. But it is by no means my object to pen an essay on happiness. The ideas of my friend may be summed up in a few words. He admitted but four elementary principles, or more strictly, conditions of bliss. That which he considered chief was (strange to say!) the simple and purely physical one of free exercise in the open air. “The health,” he said, “attainable by other means is scarcely worth the name.” He instanced the ecstasies of the fox-hunter, and pointed to the tillers of the earth, the only people who, as a class, can be fairly considered happier than others. His second condition was the love of woman. His third, and most difficult of realization, was the contempt of ambition. His fourth was an object of unceasing pursuit; and he held that, other things being equal, the extent of attainable happiness was in proportion to the spirituality of this object.

My young friend was fully on board with opinions like these, and it's worth noting that the constant enjoyment that marked his life was largely a result of careful planning. It's clear that if Mr. Ellison hadn't had that instinctive philosophy, which occasionally serves as a substitute for experience, he would have found himself, due to the remarkable success of his life, caught up in the common trap of unhappiness that often ensnares those with exceptional talents. But I'm not aiming to write an essay on happiness. My friend's beliefs can be summed up in a few words. He recognized just four fundamental principles, or more accurately, conditions for happiness. The most important, somewhat surprisingly, was the simple, physical requirement of exercising outdoors. “The health you get from other means is hardly worth mentioning,” he said. He cited the joys of fox hunters and referred to farmers, the only group of people who can genuinely be seen as happier than others. His second principle was love for a woman. His third, and the hardest to attain, was a disregard for ambition. His fourth principle was a goal for constant pursuit; he believed that, all else being equal, the level of achievable happiness was proportional to the spiritual nature of that goal.

Ellison was remarkable in the continuous profusion of good gifts lavished upon him by fortune. In personal grace and beauty he exceeded all men. His intellect was of that order to which the acquisition of knowledge is less a labor than an intuition and a necessity. His family was one of the most illustrious of the empire. His bride was the loveliest and most devoted of women. His possessions had been always ample; but on the attainment of his majority, it was discovered that one of those extraordinary freaks of fate had been played in his behalf which startle the whole social world amid which they occur, and seldom fail radically to alter the moral constitution of those who are their objects.

Ellison was exceptional in the constant outpouring of good fortune that came his way. In terms of personal charm and attractiveness, he surpassed all men. His intellect was such that gaining knowledge felt less like hard work and more like an instinct and a necessity. His family was one of the most distinguished in the empire. His wife was the most beautiful and devoted of women. He had always been well-off, but upon reaching adulthood, it became clear that an extraordinary twist of fate had happened in his favor, which surprises the entire social scene where it occurs and usually ends up fundamentally changing the moral character of those it affects.

It appears that about a hundred years before Mr. Ellison’s coming of age, there had died, in a remote province, one Mr. Seabright Ellison. This gentleman had amassed a princely fortune, and, having no immediate connections, conceived the whim of suffering his wealth to accumulate for a century after his decease. Minutely and sagaciously directing the various modes of investment, he bequeathed the aggregate amount to the nearest of blood, bearing the name of Ellison, who should be alive at the end of the hundred years. Many attempts had been made to set aside this singular bequest; their ex post facto character rendered them abortive; but the attention of a jealous government was aroused, and a legislative act finally obtained, forbidding all similar accumulations. This act, however, did not prevent young Ellison from entering into possession, on his twenty-first birthday, as the heir of his ancestor Seabright, of a fortune of four hundred and fifty millions of dollars. (*1)

About a hundred years before Mr. Ellison came of age, a man named Seabright Ellison passed away in a remote province. This gentleman had built a massive fortune and, having no close relatives, decided to let his wealth grow for a century after his death. He carefully managed various investments and left the total amount to the closest living descendant with the Ellison name at the end of that century. Many attempts were made to challenge this unusual inheritance, but they failed because they were retroactive. However, a jealous government eventually took notice and enacted a law prohibiting similar wealth accumulation. Despite this, young Ellison was able to claim, on his twenty-first birthday, his ancestor Seabright's fortune of four hundred and fifty million dollars. (*1)

When it had become known that such was the enormous wealth inherited, there were, of course, many speculations as to the mode of its disposal. The magnitude and the immediate availability of the sum bewildered all who thought on the topic. The possessor of any appreciable amount of money might have been imagined to perform any one of a thousand things. With riches merely surpassing those of any citizen, it would have been easy to suppose him engaging to supreme excess in the fashionable extravagances of his time—or busying himself with political intrigue—or aiming at ministerial power—or purchasing increase of nobility—or collecting large museums of virtu—or playing the munificent patron of letters, of science, of art—or endowing, and bestowing his name upon extensive institutions of charity. But for the inconceivable wealth in the actual possession of the heir, these objects and all ordinary objects were felt to afford too limited a field. Recourse was had to figures, and these but sufficed to confound. It was seen that, even at three per cent., the annual income of the inheritance amounted to no less than thirteen millions and five hundred thousand dollars; which was one million and one hundred and twenty-five thousand per month; or thirty-six thousand nine hundred and eighty-six per day; or one thousand five hundred and forty-one per hour; or six and twenty dollars for every minute that flew. Thus the usual track of supposition was thoroughly broken up. Men knew not what to imagine. There were some who even conceived that Mr. Ellison would divest himself of at least one-half of his fortune, as of utterly superfluous opulence—enriching whole troops of his relatives by division of his superabundance. To the nearest of these he did, in fact, abandon the very unusual wealth which was his own before the inheritance.

Once it became known how enormous the inherited wealth was, there were, of course, many speculations about how it would be used. The size and immediate availability of the amount shocked everyone who thought about it. Anyone with a significant amount of money could be imagined doing any one of a thousand things. With riches far exceeding those of any citizen, it would have been easy to assume he would indulge in the extreme extravagances of his time—or get involved in political schemes—or seek government power—or buy a title of nobility—or amass impressive collections—or be a generous supporter of literature, science, and art—or fund and name large charitable institutions. But considering the unimaginable wealth actually in the heir's possession, these pursuits and all ordinary ones felt too limited. People turned to numbers, which only added to the confusion. It became clear that even at a three percent return, the annual income from the inheritance was no less than thirteen million five hundred thousand dollars; that equated to one million one hundred twenty-five thousand per month; or thirty-six thousand nine hundred eighty-six per day; or one thousand five hundred forty-one per hour; or twenty-six dollars for every minute that passed. Thus, the usual paths of speculation were completely disrupted. People didn’t know what to think. Some even imagined that Mr. Ellison would give away at least half of his fortune, viewing it as completely unnecessary wealth—enriching many of his relatives through the distribution of his excess. To his closest relatives, he actually did share the very unusual wealth that he held before the inheritance.

I was not surprised, however, to perceive that he had long made up his mind on a point which had occasioned so much discussion to his friends. Nor was I greatly astonished at the nature of his decision. In regard to individual charities he had satisfied his conscience. In the possibility of any improvement, properly so called, being effected by man himself in the general condition of man, he had (I am sorry to confess it) little faith. Upon the whole, whether happily or unhappily, he was thrown back, in very great measure, upon self.

I wasn't surprised, though, to notice that he had already made up his mind on an issue that had caused so much debate among his friends. I wasn't particularly shocked by his decision either. When it came to personal charities, he felt he had done enough for his conscience. Unfortunately, he had little faith in the idea that any real improvement in humanity's overall condition could come from people themselves. Overall, for better or worse, he largely relied on himself.

In the widest and noblest sense he was a poet. He comprehended, moreover, the true character, the august aims, the supreme majesty and dignity of the poetic sentiment. The fullest, if not the sole proper satisfaction of this sentiment he instinctively felt to lie in the creation of novel forms of beauty. Some peculiarities, either in his early education, or in the nature of his intellect, had tinged with what is termed materialism all his ethical speculations; and it was this bias, perhaps, which led him to believe that the most advantageous at least, if not the sole legitimate field for the poetic exercise, lies in the creation of novel moods of purely physical loveliness. Thus it happened he became neither musician nor poet—if we use this latter term in its every-day acceptation. Or it might have been that he neglected to become either, merely in pursuance of his idea that in contempt of ambition is to be found one of the essential principles of happiness on earth. Is it not indeed, possible that, while a high order of genius is necessarily ambitious, the highest is above that which is termed ambition? And may it not thus happen that many far greater than Milton have contentedly remained “mute and inglorious?” I believe that the world has never seen—and that, unless through some series of accidents goading the noblest order of mind into distasteful exertion, the world will never see—that full extent of triumphant execution, in the richer domains of art, of which the human nature is absolutely capable.

In the broadest and most admirable sense, he was a poet. He understood the true nature, the grand goals, and the highest majesty and dignity of poetic sentiment. He instinctively realized that the deepest, if not the only proper fulfillment of this sentiment lies in creating new forms of beauty. Some unique aspects of his early education or his intellect may have colored all his ethical beliefs with what is known as materialism; and perhaps this tendency led him to think that the best, if not the only legitimate area for poetic expression is in crafting new moods of purely physical beauty. As a result, he ended up neither a musician nor a poet—if we take the latter term in its everyday sense. Or maybe he simply chose not to become either, following his belief that one of the essential principles of happiness on earth is found in the disdain of ambition. Isn’t it possible that while a high level of genius is inherently ambitious, the highest genius surpasses what we call ambition? And might it be the case that many far greater than Milton have willingly remained “mute and inglorious”? I believe the world has never experienced—and, unless some series of events drives the noblest minds into unpleasantry, it will never experience—that full extent of triumphant achievement in the rich realms of art that human nature is truly capable of.

Ellison became neither musician nor poet; although no man lived more profoundly enamored of music and poetry. Under other circumstances than those which invested him, it is not impossible that he would have become a painter. Sculpture, although in its nature rigorously poetical was too limited in its extent and consequences, to have occupied, at any time, much of his attention. And I have now mentioned all the provinces in which the common understanding of the poetic sentiment has declared it capable of expatiating. But Ellison maintained that the richest, the truest, and most natural, if not altogether the most extensive province, had been unaccountably neglected. No definition had spoken of the landscape-gardener as of the poet; yet it seemed to my friend that the creation of the landscape-garden offered to the proper Muse the most magnificent of opportunities. Here, indeed, was the fairest field for the display of imagination in the endless combining of forms of novel beauty; the elements to enter into combination being, by a vast superiority, the most glorious which the earth could afford. In the multiform and multicolor of the flowers and the trees, he recognised the most direct and energetic efforts of Nature at physical loveliness. And in the direction or concentration of this effort—or, more properly, in its adaptation to the eyes which were to behold it on earth—he perceived that he should be employing the best means—laboring to the greatest advantage—in the fulfilment, not only of his own destiny as poet, but of the august purposes for which the Deity had implanted the poetic sentiment in man.

Ellison never became a musician or a poet, even though no one appreciated music and poetry more than he did. Given different circumstances, he might have become a painter. Sculpture, while inherently poetic, was too limited in scope and impact to capture much of his attention at any time. I’ve now covered all the areas where common understanding recognizes the poetic sentiment as having potential. However, Ellison argued that the richest, truest, and most natural, if not the most extensive, area had been inexplicably overlooked. No definition mentions the landscape gardener as a poet, yet my friend believed that creating a landscape garden provided the perfect opportunity for the true Muse. Here, indeed, was the ideal space to showcase imagination by endlessly combining forms of new beauty; the elements at play were, by far, the most glorious that the earth could offer. In the variety and vibrancy of the flowers and trees, he saw Nature's most direct and powerful efforts at physical beauty. By directing or focusing this effort—or, more accurately, adapting it for the eyes that would behold it on earth—he realized that he would be using the best means to work to his greatest advantage, fulfilling not only his own destiny as a poet but also the grand purposes for which the Deity instilled the poetic sentiment in humanity.

“Its adaptation to the eyes which were to behold it on earth.” In his explanation of this phraseology, Mr. Ellison did much toward solving what has always seemed to me an enigma:—I mean the fact (which none but the ignorant dispute) that no such combination of scenery exists in nature as the painter of genius may produce. No such paradises are to be found in reality as have glowed on the canvas of Claude. In the most enchanting of natural landscapes, there will always be found a defect or an excess—many excesses and defects. While the component parts may defy, individually, the highest skill of the artist, the arrangement of these parts will always be susceptible of improvement. In short, no position can be attained on the wide surface of the natural earth, from which an artistical eye, looking steadily, will not find matter of offence in what is termed the “composition” of the landscape. And yet how unintelligible is this! In all other matters we are justly instructed to regard nature as supreme. With her details we shrink from competition. Who shall presume to imitate the colors of the tulip, or to improve the proportions of the lily of the valley? The criticism which says, of sculpture or portraiture, that here nature is to be exalted or idealized rather than imitated, is in error. No pictorial or sculptural combinations of points of human liveliness do more than approach the living and breathing beauty. In landscape alone is the principle of the critic true; and, having felt its truth here, it is but the headlong spirit of generalization which has led him to pronounce it true throughout all the domains of art. Having, I say, felt its truth here; for the feeling is no affectation or chimera. The mathematics afford no more absolute demonstrations than the sentiments of his art yields the artist. He not only believes, but positively knows, that such and such apparently arbitrary arrangements of matter constitute and alone constitute the true beauty. His reasons, however, have not yet been matured into expression. It remains for a more profound analysis than the world has yet seen, fully to investigate and express them. Nevertheless he is confirmed in his instinctive opinions by the voice of all his brethren. Let a “composition” be defective; let an emendation be wrought in its mere arrangement of form; let this emendation be submitted to every artist in the world; by each will its necessity be admitted. And even far more than this; in remedy of the defective composition, each insulated member of the fraternity would have suggested the identical emendation.

"Its adaptation to the eyes that were to see it on earth." In his explanation of this phrase, Mr. Ellison helped clarify what has always appeared to me as a mystery: the fact (which only the uninformed dispute) that no combination of scenery exists in nature as a genius painter can create. No real paradises are as vibrant as those portrayed on Claude's canvas. In even the most stunning natural landscapes, there will always be some flaw or excess—many flaws and excesses. While the individual components may challenge the highest skill of the artist, the arrangement of these parts is always open to improvement. In short, no viewpoint on the vast surface of the natural earth can satisfy an artistic eye, looking closely, without finding something wrong in what is called the "composition" of the landscape. And yet, how puzzling this is! In everything else, we are rightly taught to view nature as supreme. We shy away from competing with her details. Who would dare to replicate the colors of a tulip or improve the proportions of a lily of the valley? The critique that says, regarding sculpture or portraiture, that nature should be celebrated or idealized rather than copied, is mistaken. No pictorial or sculptural arrangements of vibrant human life come close to the actual living and breathing beauty. Only in landscapes does the critic's principle hold true, and after recognizing its truth here, it's just the reckless tendency to generalize that has led him to declare it true across all art forms. Having, I say, felt its truth here; for this feeling is no pretense or illusion. Mathematics does not provide more absolute proof than the artist's emotional understanding of his art. He not only believes but also knows for certain that these seemingly random arrangements of elements solely create true beauty. However, his reasons have not yet been fully articulated. A deeper analysis than the world has seen so far is needed to fully explore and express them. Nonetheless, he is validated in his instinctive beliefs by the consensus of his peers. If a "composition" is flawed; if a change is made in its mere arrangement of forms; and if this change is presented to every artist in the world, each will agree on its necessity. And even more than that; to fix the flawed composition, each individual member of the artistic community would suggest the exact same adjustment.

I repeat that in landscape arrangements alone is the physical nature susceptible of exaltation, and that, therefore, her susceptibility of improvement at this one point, was a mystery I had been unable to solve. My own thoughts on the subject had rested in the idea that the primitive intention of nature would have so arranged the earth’s surface as to have fulfilled at all points man’s sense of perfection in the beautiful, the sublime, or the picturesque; but that this primitive intention had been frustrated by the known geological disturbances—disturbances of form and color—grouping, in the correction or allaying of which lies the soul of art. The force of this idea was much weakened, however, by the necessity which it involved of considering the disturbances abnormal and unadapted to any purpose. It was Ellison who suggested that they were prognostic of death. He thus explained:—Admit the earthly immortality of man to have been the first intention. We have then the primitive arrangement of the earth’s surface adapted to his blissful estate, as not existent but designed. The disturbances were the preparations for his subsequently conceived deathful condition.

I reiterate that only in landscape arrangements does physical nature show potential for elevation, and therefore, her ability to improve at this single point has been a mystery I couldn't unravel. I believed that nature's original intention would have shaped the earth's surface to meet humanity's sense of perfection in beauty, the sublime, or the picturesque; however, this original intention was disrupted by the well-known geological upheavals—disturbances in form and color—where the essence of art lies in their correction and resolution. The strength of this idea, though, was significantly weakened by the necessity of viewing the disturbances as abnormal and unrelated to any purpose. It was Ellison who proposed that they foreshadow death. He explained:—If we accept that humanity's earthly immortality was the first intention, then we must think of the earth’s surface originally designed for his blissful state, not as existing but as planned. The disturbances were preparations for the later imagined state of mortality.

“Now,” said my friend, “what we regard as exaltation of the landscape may be really such, as respects only the moral or human point of view. Each alteration of the natural scenery may possibly effect a blemish in the picture, if we can suppose this picture viewed at large—in mass—from some point distant from the earth’s surface, although not beyond the limits of its atmosphere. It is easily understood that what might improve a closely scrutinized detail, may at the same time injure a general or more distantly observed effect. There may be a class of beings, human once, but now invisible to humanity, to whom, from afar, our disorder may seem order—our unpicturesqueness picturesque; in a word, the earth-angels, for whose scrutiny more especially than our own, and for whose death-refined appreciation of the beautiful, may have been set in array by God the wide landscape-gardens of the hemispheres.”

“Now,” my friend said, “what we see as the beauty of the landscape might really be just that—only from a moral or human perspective. Any change in the natural scenery could potentially ruin the overall picture if we imagine this picture viewed from a distance—far from the earth's surface but still within its atmosphere. It's easy to see how something that improves a closely examined detail might simultaneously damage the overall effect seen from afar. There may be a type of beings, once human but now invisible to us, who see our chaos as order—our lack of charm as picturesque; in short, the earth-angels, for whom God may have arranged the vast landscape gardens of the hemispheres, more for their appreciation than for ours.”

In the course of discussion, my friend quoted some passages from a writer on landscape-gardening who has been supposed to have well treated his theme:

In our conversation, my friend quoted some excerpts from a writer on landscape gardening who is believed to have handled his topic well:

“There are properly but two styles of landscape-gardening, the natural and the artificial. One seeks to recall the original beauty of the country, by adapting its means to the surrounding scenery, cultivating trees in harmony with the hills or plain of the neighboring land; detecting and bringing into practice those nice relations of size, proportion, and color which, hid from the common observer, are revealed everywhere to the experienced student of nature. The result of the natural style of gardening, is seen rather in the absence of all defects and incongruities—in the prevalence of a healthy harmony and order—than in the creation of any special wonders or miracles. The artificial style has as many varieties as there are different tastes to gratify. It has a certain general relation to the various styles of building. There are the stately avenues and retirements of Versailles; Italian terraces; and a various mixed old English style, which bears some relation to the domestic Gothic or English Elizabethan architecture. Whatever may be said against the abuses of the artificial landscape-gardening, a mixture of pure art in a garden scene adds to it a great beauty. This is partly pleasing to the eye, by the show of order and design, and partly moral. A terrace, with an old moss-covered balustrade, calls up at once to the eye the fair forms that have passed there in other days. The slightest exhibition of art is an evidence of care and human interest.”

There are basically two styles of landscape gardening: natural and artificial. The natural style aims to bring out the original beauty of the land by adapting its features to the surrounding scenery, planting trees that complement the nearby hills or flat areas; it focuses on identifying and applying the subtle relationships of size, proportion, and color that, while unnoticed by the untutored eye, are evident to anyone who studies nature closely. The outcome of natural gardening tends to emphasize the absence of flaws and mismatches, showcasing a healthy sense of harmony and order rather than creating specific wonders or miracles. The artificial style has as many variations as there are tastes to satisfy. It generally relates to various architectural styles. Think of the grand pathways and secluded spots of Versailles, Italian terraces, and an eclectic old English style that relates to domestic Gothic or English Elizabethan architecture. Despite the criticisms of artificial landscape gardening, incorporating pure art into a garden scene adds significant beauty. This beauty appeals visually through its order and design, while also offering a moral dimension. A terrace with an old moss-covered railing evokes memories of the beautiful figures that once graced that space. Even a hint of artistry reflects care and human interest.

“From what I have already observed,” said Ellison, “you will understand that I reject the idea, here expressed, of recalling the original beauty of the country. The original beauty is never so great as that which may be introduced. Of course, every thing depends on the selection of a spot with capabilities. What is said about detecting and bringing into practice nice relations of size, proportion, and color, is one of those mere vaguenesses of speech which serve to veil inaccuracy of thought. The phrase quoted may mean any thing, or nothing, and guides in no degree. That the true result of the natural style of gardening is seen rather in the absence of all defects and incongruities than in the creation of any special wonders or miracles, is a proposition better suited to the grovelling apprehension of the herd than to the fervid dreams of the man of genius. The negative merit suggested appertains to that hobbling criticism which, in letters, would elevate Addison into apotheosis. In truth, while that virtue which consists in the mere avoidance of vice appeals directly to the understanding, and can thus be circumscribed in rule, the loftier virtue, which flames in creation, can be apprehended in its results alone. Rule applies but to the merits of denial—to the excellencies which refrain. Beyond these, the critical art can but suggest. We may be instructed to build a “Cato,” but we are in vain told how to conceive a Parthenon or an “Inferno.” The thing done, however; the wonder accomplished; and the capacity for apprehension becomes universal. The sophists of the negative school who, through inability to create, have scoffed at creation, are now found the loudest in applause. What, in its chrysalis condition of principle, affronted their demure reason, never fails, in its maturity of accomplishment, to extort admiration from their instinct of beauty.

"Based on what I've already seen," Ellison said, "you'll realize that I reject the notion of returning to the original beauty of the countryside. The original beauty is never as impressive as what can be created. Of course, it all depends on choosing a location with potential. What people say about identifying and applying good relationships of size, proportion, and color is just vague language that obscures unclear thinking. That phrase could mean anything or nothing and doesn’t guide at all. The real outcome of a natural gardening style is better seen in the absence of flaws and mismatches than in the creation of any special wonders or miracles; this idea suits the limited understanding of the masses more than the passionate visions of a genius. The suggested negative merit corresponds to that clumsy criticism which would turn Addison into a god. In reality, the virtue of simply avoiding vice speaks directly to understanding and can be easily defined by rules, while the higher virtue that shines in creation can only be understood by its results. Rules apply only to the merits of denial— to the virtues that hold back. Beyond that, criticism can only suggest. We may be told to build a 'Cato,' but it's pointless to be instructed on how to conceive a Parthenon or an 'Inferno.' Once the act is done and the wonder achieved, the ability to appreciate it becomes universal. Those who, unable to create, have derided creation now are often the loudest in their praise. What once challenged their modest reasoning in its early stages never fails to elicit admiration from their innate sense of beauty once it’s fully realized."

“The author’s observations on the artificial style,” continued Ellison, “are less objectionable. A mixture of pure art in a garden scene adds to it a great beauty. This is just; as also is the reference to the sense of human interest. The principle expressed is incontrovertible—but there may be something beyond it. There may be an object in keeping with the principle—an object unattainable by the means ordinarily possessed by individuals, yet which, if attained, would lend a charm to the landscape-garden far surpassing that which a sense of merely human interest could bestow. A poet, having very unusual pecuniary resources, might, while retaining the necessary idea of art or culture, or, as our author expresses it, of interest, so imbue his designs at once with extent and novelty of beauty, as to convey the sentiment of spiritual interference. It will be seen that, in bringing about such result, he secures all the advantages of interest or design, while relieving his work of the harshness or technicality of the worldly art. In the most rugged of wildernesses—in the most savage of the scenes of pure nature—there is apparent the art of a creator; yet this art is apparent to reflection only; in no respect has it the obvious force of a feeling. Now let us suppose this sense of the Almighty design to be one step depressed—to be brought into something like harmony or consistency with the sense of human art—to form an intermedium between the two:—let us imagine, for example, a landscape whose combined vastness and definitiveness—whose united beauty, magnificence, and strangeness, shall convey the idea of care, or culture, or superintendence, on the part of beings superior, yet akin to humanity—then the sentiment of interest is preserved, while the art intervolved is made to assume the air of an intermediate or secondary nature—a nature which is not God, nor an emanation from God, but which still is nature in the sense of the handiwork of the angels that hover between man and God.”

“The author’s thoughts on the artificial style,” continued Ellison, “are less problematic. Mixing pure artistry in a garden scene enhances its beauty significantly. This is valid, as is the mention of human interest. The principle stated is undeniable—but there could be something beyond it. There might be a goal that aligns with the principle—something that can’t usually be achieved by normal means, but if it could be achieved, would add a charm to the landscape-garden far exceeding what mere human interest can provide. A poet with extraordinary financial resources might, while maintaining the essential idea of art or culture, or as our author puts it, of interest, infuse his designs with both breadth and novelty of beauty, conveying a sense of spiritual influence. It becomes evident that by achieving this outcome, he gains all the benefits of interest or design, while freeing his work from the harshness or technicality of worldly art. In the most rugged wilderness—in the wildest scenes of pure nature—the art of a creator is still evident; yet this art is only apparent upon reflection; it doesn’t carry the overt force of emotion. Now let’s imagine this sense of the Almighty design being slightly diminished—brought into harmony or consistency with the sense of human art—to create a link between the two: let’s envision, for example, a landscape whose combined vastness and clarity—whose joined beauty, magnificence, and uniqueness—conveys the idea of care, or cultivation, or supervision by beings that are superior yet connected to humanity—then the sentiment of interest remains intact, while the art involved takes on the appearance of a secondary or intermediate nature—a nature that is neither God, nor a direct expression of God, but still represents nature as the handiwork of the angels who bridge the gap between man and God.”

It was in devoting his enormous wealth to the embodiment of a vision such as this—in the free exercise in the open air ensured by the personal superintendence of his plans—in the unceasing object which these plans afforded—in the high spirituality of the object—in the contempt of ambition which it enabled him truly to feel—in the perennial springs with which it gratified, without possibility of satiating, that one master passion of his soul, the thirst for beauty, above all, it was in the sympathy of a woman, not unwomanly, whose loveliness and love enveloped his existence in the purple atmosphere of Paradise, that Ellison thought to find, and found, exemption from the ordinary cares of humanity, with a far greater amount of positive happiness than ever glowed in the rapt day-dreams of De Staël.

It was in dedicating his vast wealth to realize a vision like this—in the freedom to enjoy it outdoors under the personal guidance of his plans—in the endless pursuit that these plans provided—in the elevated spirit of the objective—in the genuine disdain for ambition that it allowed him to feel—in the ever-refreshing wells it satisfied, never fully quenching, that one dominant desire of his heart, the thirst for beauty—above all, it was in the affection of a woman, who was not lacking in femininity, whose beauty and love surrounded his life in a blissful atmosphere, that Ellison hoped to find, and did find, relief from the usual burdens of life, along with a much greater degree of genuine happiness than ever illuminated the ecstatic daydreams of De Staël.

I despair of conveying to the reader any distinct conception of the marvels which my friend did actually accomplish. I wish to describe, but am disheartened by the difficulty of description, and hesitate between detail and generality. Perhaps the better course will be to unite the two in their extremes.

I struggle to communicate to the reader a clear understanding of the amazing things my friend really achieved. I want to describe them, but I feel discouraged by how hard it is to find the right words, and I’m torn between including too many details or being too vague. Maybe the best approach is to blend both extremes.

Mr. Ellison’s first step regarded, of course, the choice of a locality, and scarcely had he commenced thinking on this point, when the luxuriant nature of the Pacific Islands arrested his attention. In fact, he had made up his mind for a voyage to the South Seas, when a night’s reflection induced him to abandon the idea. “Were I misanthropic,” he said, “such a locale would suit me. The thoroughness of its insulation and seclusion, and the difficulty of ingress and egress, would in such case be the charm of charms; but as yet I am not Timon. I wish the composure but not the depression of solitude. There must remain with me a certain control over the extent and duration of my repose. There will be frequent hours in which I shall need, too, the sympathy of the poetic in what I have done. Let me seek, then, a spot not far from a populous city—whose vicinity, also, will best enable me to execute my plans.”

Mr. Ellison’s first step was, of course, choosing a location, and he barely started thinking about this when the lush beauty of the Pacific Islands caught his attention. In fact, he had decided on a trip to the South Seas when a night’s contemplation made him change his mind. “If I were a misanthrope,” he said, “this place would be perfect for me. Its complete isolation and seclusion, along with the challenge of getting in and out, would be the ultimate charm; but for now, I’m not Timon. I want the peace but not the sadness of being alone. I need to have some control over how long and how much I rest. There will be many moments when I will also crave the inspiration of the creative in what I’ve accomplished. So, let me find a place not too far from a busy city—one that will also help me carry out my plans.”

In search of a suitable place so situated, Ellison travelled for several years, and I was permitted to accompany him. A thousand spots with which I was enraptured he rejected without hesitation, for reasons which satisfied me, in the end, that he was right. We came at length to an elevated table-land of wonderful fertility and beauty, affording a panoramic prospect very little less in extent than that of Aetna, and, in Ellison’s opinion as well as my own, surpassing the far-famed view from that mountain in all the true elements of the picturesque.

In search of the perfect location, Ellison traveled for several years, and I had the chance to join him. He dismissed a thousand places that I found enchanting without a second thought, and eventually, I understood why he was right. Eventually, we arrived at a high plateau that was incredibly fertile and beautiful, offering a breathtaking view that was almost as expansive as that of Mount Etna. In both Ellison's and my opinion, it surpassed the famous scenery from that mountain in every way that truly matters to the picturesque.

“I am aware,” said the traveller, as he drew a sigh of deep delight after gazing on this scene, entranced, for nearly an hour, “I know that here, in my circumstances, nine-tenths of the most fastidious of men would rest content. This panorama is indeed glorious, and I should rejoice in it but for the excess of its glory. The taste of all the architects I have ever known leads them, for the sake of ‘prospect,’ to put up buildings on hill-tops. The error is obvious. Grandeur in any of its moods, but especially in that of extent, startles, excites—and then fatigues, depresses. For the occasional scene nothing can be better—for the constant view nothing worse. And, in the constant view, the most objectionable phase of grandeur is that of extent; the worst phase of extent, that of distance. It is at war with the sentiment and with the sense of seclusion—the sentiment and sense which we seek to humor in ‘retiring to the country.’ In looking from the summit of a mountain we cannot help feeling abroad in the world. The heart-sick avoid distant prospects as a pestilence.”

“I get it,” said the traveler with a deep, satisfied sigh after being mesmerized by the view for nearly an hour. “I know that most picky people in my position would be perfectly happy here. This view is absolutely stunning, and I would love it if it weren’t for how overwhelming it is. All the architects I’ve known tend to build on hilltops to get a good view. The mistake is clear. Grandeur, in any form but especially when it comes to size, startles and excites—but then it wears you out and brings you down. It’s perfect for an occasional sight, but terrible for a daily view. And when it comes to a constant view, the most annoying aspect of grandeur is its size; the worst part of that size is its distance. It clashes with the feeling and sense of privacy that we look for when we ‘retreat to the countryside.’ When we gaze from the top of a mountain, we can't help but feel exposed to the world. Those who are heartbroken steer clear of far-off views like they’re a plague.”

It was not until toward the close of the fourth year of our search that we found a locality with which Ellison professed himself satisfied. It is, of course, needless to say where was the locality. The late death of my friend, in causing his domain to be thrown open to certain classes of visitors, has given to Arnheim a species of secret and subdued if not solemn celebrity, similar in kind, although infinitely superior in degree, to that which so long distinguished Fonthill.

It wasn’t until the end of our fourth year of searching that we found a place where Ellison said he was satisfied. Of course, it’s unnecessary to mention where this place was. The recent passing of my friend, which allowed certain visitors access to his estate, has given Arnheim a kind of secretive and somewhat subdued, if not serious, fame—similar in nature, although vastly greater in scale, to the long-lasting reputation of Fonthill.

The usual approach to Arnheim was by the river. The visitor left the city in the early morning. During the forenoon he passed between shores of a tranquil and domestic beauty, on which grazed innumerable sheep, their white fleeces spotting the vivid green of rolling meadows. By degrees the idea of cultivation subsided into that of merely pastoral care. This slowly became merged in a sense of retirement—this again in a consciousness of solitude. As the evening approached, the channel grew more narrow; the banks more and more precipitous; and these latter were clothed in rich, more profuse, and more sombre foliage. The water increased in transparency. The stream took a thousand turns, so that at no moment could its gleaming surface be seen for a greater distance than a furlong. At every instant the vessel seemed imprisoned within an enchanted circle, having insuperable and impenetrable walls of foliage, a roof of ultramarine satin, and no floor—the keel balancing itself with admirable nicety on that of a phantom bark which, by some accident having been turned upside down, floated in constant company with the substantial one, for the purpose of sustaining it. The channel now became a gorge—although the term is somewhat inapplicable, and I employ it merely because the language has no word which better represents the most striking—not the most distinctive—feature of the scene. The character of gorge was maintained only in the height and parallelism of the shores; it was lost altogether in their other traits. The walls of the ravine (through which the clear water still tranquilly flowed) arose to an elevation of a hundred and occasionally of a hundred and fifty feet, and inclined so much toward each other as, in a great measure, to shut out the light of day; while the long plume-like moss which depended densely from the intertwining shrubberies overhead, gave the whole chasm an air of funereal gloom. The windings became more frequent and intricate, and seemed often as if returning in upon themselves, so that the voyager had long lost all idea of direction. He was, moreover, enwrapt in an exquisite sense of the strange. The thought of nature still remained, but her character seemed to have undergone modification, there was a weird symmetry, a thrilling uniformity, a wizard propriety in these her works. Not a dead branch—not a withered leaf—not a stray pebble—not a patch of the brown earth was anywhere visible. The crystal water welled up against the clean granite, or the unblemished moss, with a sharpness of outline that delighted while it bewildered the eye.

The usual way to get to Arnheim was by the river. The visitor left the city in the early morning. During the day, he passed through shores that had a peaceful and homely beauty, where countless sheep grazed, their white wool contrasting against the vibrant green of rolling meadows. Gradually, the feeling of cultivation faded into a simple pastoral care. This slowly turned into a sense of retreat, and then into a consciousness of solitude. As evening approached, the channel narrowed; the banks became steeper; and they were covered in rich, lush, and darker foliage. The water became clearer. The stream twisted a thousand times, so at no moment could its shining surface be seen for more than a furlong. At every moment, the boat seemed trapped within an enchanted circle, surrounded by impenetrable walls of foliage, a roof of ultramarine satin, and no floor—the hull balancing perfectly on that of a phantom boat that, by some chance, had flipped upside down, floating alongside the real one to support it. The channel turned into a gorge—though this term isn’t quite right, and I use it simply because the language lacks a better word to describe the most striking—not the most distinctive—aspect of the scene. The gorge aspect was only maintained by the height and parallelism of the shores; it was lost in their other qualities. The walls of the ravine (through which the clear water still flowed peacefully) rose to about a hundred, and sometimes a hundred and fifty feet, leaning in toward each other enough to block much of the daylight; while the long, plume-like moss that hung thickly from the interwoven shrubs above gave the whole chasm a somber gloom. The winding paths became more frequent and complex, often seeming to loop back on themselves, so the traveler had long lost any sense of direction. He was also wrapped in a beautiful sense of the strange. The thought of nature remained, but it seemed to have changed character; there was an eerie symmetry, an exhilarating uniformity, a magical propriety in her creations. Not a dead branch, not a withered leaf, not a stray pebble, not a patch of brown earth could be seen anywhere. The crystal water lapped against the clean granite or the untouched moss with a sharpness of outline that both delighted and confused the eye.

Having threaded the mazes of this channel for some hours, the gloom deepening every moment, a sharp and unexpected turn of the vessel brought it suddenly, as if dropped from heaven, into a circular basin of very considerable extent when compared with the width of the gorge. It was about two hundred yards in diameter, and girt in at all points but one—that immediately fronting the vessel as it entered—by hills equal in general height to the walls of the chasm, although of a thoroughly different character. Their sides sloped from the water’s edge at an angle of some forty-five degrees, and they were clothed from base to summit—not a perceptible point escaping—in a drapery of the most gorgeous flower-blossoms; scarcely a green leaf being visible among the sea of odorous and fluctuating color. This basin was of great depth, but so transparent was the water that the bottom, which seemed to consist of a thick mass of small round alabaster pebbles, was distinctly visible by glimpses—that is to say, whenever the eye could permit itself not to see, far down in the inverted heaven, the duplicate blooming of the hills. On these latter there were no trees, nor even shrubs of any size. The impressions wrought on the observer were those of richness, warmth, color, quietude, uniformity, softness, delicacy, daintiness, voluptuousness, and a miraculous extremeness of culture that suggested dreams of a new race of fairies, laborious, tasteful, magnificent, and fastidious; but as the eye traced upward the myriad-tinted slope, from its sharp junction with the water to its vague termination amid the folds of overhanging cloud, it became, indeed, difficult not to fancy a panoramic cataract of rubies, sapphires, opals, and golden onyxes, rolling silently out of the sky.

After navigating the twists and turns of this channel for several hours, with the darkness deepening every moment, a sudden and unexpected turn of the vessel brought it abruptly, as if dropped from the sky, into a wide circular basin. Compared to the narrow gorge, this basin was quite large—about two hundred yards in diameter. It was surrounded on all sides except for one—the side facing the vessel as it entered—by hills that were generally as high as the chasm's walls, but of a completely different nature. The hills sloped toward the water at about a forty-five-degree angle and were covered from bottom to top—with not a single spot missed—with a stunning array of colorful flower blossoms; barely a green leaf was visible amidst the vibrant sea of fragrant and shifting colors. This basin was very deep, but the water was so clear that the bottom, which looked like a thick layer of small round alabaster pebbles, was clearly visible in glimpses—meaning that whenever the eye could manage not to focus on the reflected beauty of the hills high above. There were no trees or even large shrubs on these hills. The overall impression left on the observer was one of richness, warmth, color, tranquility, consistency, softness, delicacy, charm, indulgence, and an extraordinary level of cultivation that evoked dreams of a new race of fairies—diligent, artistic, grand, and particular. But as the eye moved up the colorful slope, from where it met the water to where it faded into the folds of hanging clouds, it became hard not to imagine a waterfall of rubies, sapphires, opals, and golden onyxes silently cascading from the sky.

The visitor, shooting suddenly into this bay from out the gloom of the ravine, is delighted but astounded by the full orb of the declining sun, which he had supposed to be already far below the horizon, but which now confronts him, and forms the sole termination of an otherwise limitless vista seen through another chasm-like rift in the hills.

The visitor, suddenly emerging into this bay from the darkness of the ravine, is both delighted and amazed by the bright full sun setting in the sky, which he thought had already dipped below the horizon. Instead, it now faces him, marking the only end to an otherwise endless view seen through another canyon-like opening in the hills.

But here the voyager quits the vessel which has borne him so far, and descends into a light canoe of ivory, stained with arabesque devices in vivid scarlet, both within and without. The poop and beak of this boat arise high above the water, with sharp points, so that the general form is that of an irregular crescent. It lies on the surface of the bay with the proud grace of a swan. On its ermined floor reposes a single feathery paddle of satin-wood; but no oarsmen or attendant is to be seen. The guest is bidden to be of good cheer—that the fates will take care of him. The larger vessel disappears, and he is left alone in the canoe, which lies apparently motionless in the middle of the lake. While he considers what course to pursue, however, he becomes aware of a gentle movement in the fairy bark. It slowly swings itself around until its prow points toward the sun. It advances with a gentle but gradually accelerated velocity, while the slight ripples it creates seem to break about the ivory side in divinest melody—seem to offer the only possible explanation of the soothing yet melancholy music for whose unseen origin the bewildered voyager looks around him in vain.

But here the traveler leaves the ship that has taken him this far and steps into a light canoe made of ivory, decorated with intricate designs in bright scarlet, both inside and out. The back and front of the boat rise high above the water with sharp points, giving it an irregular crescent shape. It floats gracefully on the surface of the bay like a proud swan. On its smooth floor rests a single feathery paddle made of satin wood, but there are no rowers or attendants in sight. The traveler is encouraged to stay positive—that fate will look after him. The larger vessel vanishes, leaving him alone in the canoe, which seems motionless in the middle of the lake. As he thinks about what to do next, he starts to notice a gentle movement in the enchanting boat. It slowly turns around until its front faces the sun. It moves forward with a gentle but gradually increasing speed, while the small ripples it creates seem to break against the ivory side in a heavenly melody—offering what seems to be the only explanation for the soothing yet melancholic music whose unseen source the bewildered traveler looks for in vain.

The canoe steadily proceeds, and the rocky gate of the vista is approached, so that its depths can be more distinctly seen. To the right arise a chain of lofty hills rudely and luxuriantly wooded. It is observed, however, that the trait of exquisite cleanness where the bank dips into the water, still prevails. There is not one token of the usual river débris. To the left the character of the scene is softer and more obviously artificial. Here the bank slopes upward from the stream in a very gentle ascent, forming a broad sward of grass of a texture resembling nothing so much as velvet, and of a brilliancy of green which would bear comparison with the tint of the purest emerald. This plateau varies in width from ten to three hundred yards; reaching from the river-bank to a wall, fifty feet high, which extends, in an infinity of curves, but following the general direction of the river, until lost in the distance to the westward. This wall is of one continuous rock, and has been formed by cutting perpendicularly the once rugged precipice of the stream’s southern bank, but no trace of the labor has been suffered to remain. The chiselled stone has the hue of ages, and is profusely overhung and overspread with the ivy, the coral honeysuckle, the eglantine, and the clematis. The uniformity of the top and bottom lines of the wall is fully relieved by occasional trees of gigantic height, growing singly or in small groups, both along the plateau and in the domain behind the wall, but in close proximity to it; so that frequent limbs (of the black walnut especially) reach over and dip their pendent extremities into the water. Farther back within the domain, the vision is impeded by an impenetrable screen of foliage.

The canoe moves steadily forward as it approaches the rocky entrance of the view, allowing its depths to be seen more clearly. On the right, a chain of tall hills rises, heavily and beautifully covered in trees. However, it’s noticeable that the area where the bank meets the water remains exceptionally clean. There's not a single sign of the usual river debris. On the left, the scene feels softer and more deliberately crafted. Here, the bank gently slopes upward from the stream, creating a wide stretch of grass that feels like velvet and has a vibrant green that rivals the color of the purest emerald. This plateau ranges in width from ten to three hundred yards, extending from the riverbank to a wall that rises fifty feet high, flowing in countless curves but generally following the river's path until it disappears into the distance to the west. This wall is made from a single piece of rock, formed by cutting straight down the once rugged cliff of the river’s southern bank, with no sign of the labor that created it. The chiseled stone has a weathered appearance and is richly covered with ivy, coral honeysuckle, eglantine, and clematis. The straight lines of the top and bottom of the wall are beautifully accented by occasional towering trees, growing either alone or in small clusters, both along the plateau and in the area behind the wall, close enough that their branches, especially those of the black walnut, reach over and dip into the water. Further back in the area, the view is blocked by an impenetrable mass of foliage.

These things are observed during the canoe’s gradual approach to what I have called the gate of the vista. On drawing nearer to this, however, its chasm-like appearance vanishes; a new outlet from the bay is discovered to the left—in which direction the wall is also seen to sweep, still following the general course of the stream. Down this new opening the eye cannot penetrate very far; for the stream, accompanied by the wall, still bends to the left, until both are swallowed up by the leaves.

These things are seen as the canoe slowly approaches what I’ve named the gate of the view. However, as we get closer, its chasm-like look disappears; a new exit from the bay is found to the left—where the wall also curves, still following the overall direction of the stream. Down this new opening, you can't see very far; because the stream, along with the wall, continues to curve to the left until both are hidden by the leaves.

The boat, nevertheless, glides magically into the winding channel; and here the shore opposite the wall is found to resemble that opposite the wall in the straight vista. Lofty hills, rising occasionally into mountains, and covered with vegetation in wild luxuriance, still shut in the scene.

The boat, however, smoothly sails into the meandering channel; and here, the shore across from the wall looks similar to the one across from the wall in the straight view. Tall hills, sometimes turning into mountains, and covered in lush greenery, still enclose the scene.

Floating gently onward, but with a velocity slightly augmented, the voyager, after many short turns, finds his progress apparently barred by a gigantic gate or rather door of burnished gold, elaborately carved and fretted, and reflecting the direct rays of the now fast-sinking sun with an effulgence that seems to wreath the whole surrounding forest in flames. This gate is inserted in the lofty wall; which here appears to cross the river at right angles. In a few moments, however, it is seen that the main body of the water still sweeps in a gentle and extensive curve to the left, the wall following it as before, while a stream of considerable volume, diverging from the principal one, makes its way, with a slight ripple, under the door, and is thus hidden from sight. The canoe falls into the lesser channel and approaches the gate. Its ponderous wings are slowly and musically expanded. The boat glides between them, and commences a rapid descent into a vast amphitheatre entirely begirt with purple mountains, whose bases are laved by a gleaming river throughout the full extent of their circuit. Meantime the whole Paradise of Arnheim bursts upon the view. There is a gush of entrancing melody; there is an oppressive sense of strange sweet odor;—there is a dream-like intermingling to the eye of tall slender Eastern trees—bosky shrubberies—flocks of golden and crimson birds—lily-fringed lakes—meadows of violets, tulips, poppies, hyacinths, and tuberoses—long intertangled lines of silver streamlets—and, upspringing confusedly from amid all, a mass of semi-Gothic, semi-Saracenic architecture sustaining itself by miracle in mid-air, glittering in the red sunlight with a hundred oriels, minarets, and pinnacles; and seeming the phantom handiwork, conjointly, of the Sylphs, of the Fairies, of the Genii and of the Gnomes.

Floating gently onward, but moving a bit faster, the traveler, after many small turns, finds his way seemingly blocked by a massive gate—or rather a door—made of polished gold, intricately carved and detailed, reflecting the sun's rays as it sets, creating a glow that seems to wrap the entire surrounding forest in flames. This gate is set into a tall wall that crosses the river at a right angle. However, in a moment, it becomes clear that the main body of water continues to flow in a gentle and wide curve to the left, with the wall following along, while a significant stream diverges from the main one, flowing with a slight ripple under the door, hidden from view. The canoe drifts into the smaller channel and approaches the gate. Its heavy wings slowly and musically unfold. The boat glides between them and starts a swift descent into a vast amphitheater surrounded by purple mountains, whose bases are washed by a shining river that follows the entirety of their circuit. Meanwhile, the entire Paradise of Arnheim comes into view. There's a rush of enchanting music; an overwhelming sense of a strange sweet fragrance;—a dreamlike blend for the eyes of tall, slender Eastern trees—lush shrubs—flocks of golden and crimson birds—lily-fringed lakes—meadows filled with violets, tulips, poppies, hyacinths, and tuberoses—long, winding lines of silver streamlets—and, rising chaotically from all, a mass of semi-Gothic, semi-Saracenic architecture miraculously balancing in mid-air, sparkling in the red sunlight with a hundred oriel windows, minarets, and spires; seeming like the phantom creation of Sylphs, Fairies, Genii, and Gnomes.

LANDOR’S COTTAGE

A Pendant to “The Domain of Arnheim”

A Companion to “The Domain of Arnheim”

During A pedestrian trip last summer, through one or two of the river counties of New York, I found myself, as the day declined, somewhat embarrassed about the road I was pursuing. The land undulated very remarkably; and my path, for the last hour, had wound about and about so confusedly, in its effort to keep in the valleys, that I no longer knew in what direction lay the sweet village of B——, where I had determined to stop for the night. The sun had scarcely shone—strictly speaking—during the day, which nevertheless, had been unpleasantly warm. A smoky mist, resembling that of the Indian summer, enveloped all things, and of course, added to my uncertainty. Not that I cared much about the matter. If I did not hit upon the village before sunset, or even before dark, it was more than possible that a little Dutch farmhouse, or something of that kind, would soon make its appearance—although, in fact, the neighborhood (perhaps on account of being more picturesque than fertile) was very sparsely inhabited. At all events, with my knapsack for a pillow, and my hound as a sentry, a bivouac in the open air was just the thing which would have amused me. I sauntered on, therefore, quite at ease—Ponto taking charge of my gun—until at length, just as I had begun to consider whether the numerous little glades that led hither and thither, were intended to be paths at all, I was conducted by one of them into an unquestionable carriage track. There could be no mistaking it. The traces of light wheels were evident; and although the tall shrubberies and overgrown undergrowth met overhead, there was no obstruction whatever below, even to the passage of a Virginian mountain wagon—the most aspiring vehicle, I take it, of its kind. The road, however, except in being open through the wood—if wood be not too weighty a name for such an assemblage of light trees—and except in the particulars of evident wheel-tracks—bore no resemblance to any road I had before seen. The tracks of which I speak were but faintly perceptible—having been impressed upon the firm, yet pleasantly moist surface of—what looked more like green Genoese velvet than any thing else. It was grass, clearly—but grass such as we seldom see out of England—so short, so thick, so even, and so vivid in color. Not a single impediment lay in the wheel-route—not even a chip or dead twig. The stones that once obstructed the way had been carefully placed—not thrown—along the sides of the lane, so as to define its boundaries at bottom with a kind of half-precise, half-negligent, and wholly picturesque definition. Clumps of wild flowers grew everywhere, luxuriantly, in the interspaces.

During a walk last summer through a couple of the river counties of New York, I found myself, as the day was ending, a bit unsure about the road I was on. The land rolled in a very noticeable way, and my path had twisted around so much in its attempt to stay low in the valleys that I had lost track of which direction the charming village of B—— was in, where I had planned to stop for the night. The sun had barely shone throughout the day, which was nonetheless uncomfortably warm. A smoky mist, similar to what you see during Indian summer, surrounded everything and added to my confusion. Not that I was too worried about it. If I didn't find the village before sunset or even before it got dark, it was likely that a little Dutch farmhouse or something similar would show up soon—although the area was quite sparsely populated, probably because it was more scenic than fertile. In any case, with my backpack for a pillow and my dog as a guard, camping outside would have been just fine with me. So, I continued on without a care—Ponto taking charge of my gun—until eventually, just as I started to wonder if the many little clearings that led in various directions were actually meant to be paths, one of them guided me onto a definite carriage track. There was no mistaking it. The marks of light wheels were clear, and even though the tall bushes and overgrown plants met overhead, there was nothing in the way below, even for a Virginian mountain wagon—the most ambitious vehicle of its kind, I think. The road, however, aside from being open through the woods—if "woods" isn't too heavy a term for such a gathering of light trees—and aside from the noticeable wheel tracks, looked nothing like any road I'd seen before. The tracks I mentioned were only faintly visible, having been pressed into the firm but pleasantly moist surface of what looked more like green Genoese velvet than anything else. It was grass, clearly—but grass such as we rarely see outside England—so short, so thick, so even, and so vibrant in color. Not a single hindrance lay in the wheel path—not even a chip or dead twig. The stones that once blocked the path had been carefully placed—not thrown—along the sides of the lane, defining its edges with a kind of half-precise, half-negligent, yet completely picturesque definition. Clusters of wildflowers grew everywhere, lushly, in the spaces between.

What to make of all this, of course I knew not. Here was art undoubtedly—that did not surprise me—all roads, in the ordinary sense, are works of art; nor can I say that there was much to wonder at in the mere excess of art manifested; all that seemed to have been done, might have been done here—with such natural “capabilities” (as they have it in the books on Landscape Gardening)—with very little labor and expense. No; it was not the amount but the character of the art which caused me to take a seat on one of the blossomy stones and gaze up and down this fairy-like avenue for half an hour or more in bewildered admiration. One thing became more and more evident the longer I gazed: an artist, and one with a most scrupulous eye for form, had superintended all these arrangements. The greatest care had been taken to preserve a due medium between the neat and graceful on the one hand, and the pittoresque, in the true sense of the Italian term, on the other. There were few straight, and no long uninterrupted lines. The same effect of curvature or of color appeared twice, usually, but not oftener, at any one point of view. Everywhere was variety in uniformity. It was a piece of “composition,” in which the most fastidiously critical taste could scarcely have suggested an emendation.

What to make of all this? Honestly, I had no idea. This was definitely art—that didn't surprise me; after all, all roads, in the usual sense, are art. I can't say I found much to marvel at in the sheer abundance of art displayed; everything that seemed to be done could have been achieved here—with such natural "capabilities" (as they say in the books on Landscape Gardening)—with very little effort and expense. No, it wasn't the quantity but the quality of the art that made me sit on one of the flowering stones and gaze up and down this enchanting path for half an hour or more in awe. One thing became increasingly clear the longer I looked: an artist, one with a keen eye for form, had overseen all these arrangements. Great care had been taken to maintain a balance between the tidy and elegant on one side and the picturesque, in the true sense of the Italian term, on the other. There were few straight lines, and no long, uninterrupted lines. The same effect of curvature or color appeared twice, usually, but no more than that from any single viewpoint. Everywhere, there was variety within consistency. It was a piece of "composition" that even the most discerning taste could hardly have improved upon.

I had turned to the right as I entered this road, and now, arising, I continued in the same direction. The path was so serpentine, that at no moment could I trace its course for more than two or three paces in advance. Its character did not undergo any material change.

I had turned right as I entered this road, and now, as I got up, I continued in the same direction. The path was so winding that I couldn’t see where it was going more than two or three steps ahead. Its nature didn’t change in any significant way.

Presently the murmur of water fell gently upon my ear—and in a few moments afterward, as I turned with the road somewhat more abruptly than hitherto, I became aware that a building of some kind lay at the foot of a gentle declivity just before me. I could see nothing distinctly on account of the mist which occupied all the little valley below. A gentle breeze, however, now arose, as the sun was about descending; and while I remained standing on the brow of the slope, the fog gradually became dissipated into wreaths, and so floated over the scene.

Right now, the sound of water gently filled my ears—and moments later, as I turned more sharply on the road than before, I noticed a building at the bottom of a gentle slope ahead of me. I couldn't make out anything clearly because of the mist covering the little valley below. A soft breeze began to pick up as the sun was starting to set; while I stood at the top of the slope, the fog slowly lifted into wisps and drifted across the scene.

As it came fully into view—thus gradually as I describe it—piece by piece, here a tree, there a glimpse of water, and here again the summit of a chimney, I could scarcely help fancying that the whole was one of the ingenious illusions sometimes exhibited under the name of “vanishing pictures.”

As it came into full view—slowly, as I'm describing it—bit by bit, here a tree, there a glimpse of water, and here again the peak of a chimney, I could hardly shake the feeling that the whole scene was one of those clever illusions sometimes shown as “vanishing pictures.”

By the time, however, that the fog had thoroughly disappeared, the sun had made its way down behind the gentle hills, and thence, as if with a slight chassez to the south, had come again fully into sight, glaring with a purplish lustre through a chasm that entered the valley from the west. Suddenly, therefore—and as if by the hand of magic—this whole valley and every thing in it became brilliantly visible.

By the time the fog completely lifted, the sun had already sunk behind the gentle hills, and then, almost as if shifting slightly to the south, it reappeared fully in view, shining with a purplish glow through a gap that opened into the valley from the west. Suddenly, as if by magic, the entire valley and everything in it became vividly clear.

The first coup d’œil, as the sun slid into the position described, impressed me very much as I have been impressed, when a boy, by the concluding scene of some well-arranged theatrical spectacle or melodrama. Not even the monstrosity of color was wanting; for the sunlight came out through the chasm, tinted all orange and purple; while the vivid green of the grass in the valley was reflected more or less upon all objects from the curtain of vapor that still hung overhead, as if loth to take its total departure from a scene so enchantingly beautiful.

The first coup d’œil, as the sun slid into the position I mentioned, really impressed me, just like I was impressed as a boy by the final scene of a well-staged play or melodrama. The colors were even a bit overwhelming; the sunlight burst through the gap, shining all orange and purple, while the bright green of the grass in the valley reflected onto everything from the veil of mist still hanging above, as if it was reluctant to completely leave such a stunningly beautiful scene.

The little vale into which I thus peered down from under the fog canopy could not have been more than four hundred yards long; while in breadth it varied from fifty to one hundred and fifty or perhaps two hundred. It was most narrow at its northern extremity, opening out as it tended southwardly, but with no very precise regularity. The widest portion was within eighty yards of the southern extreme. The slopes which encompassed the vale could not fairly be called hills, unless at their northern face. Here a precipitous ledge of granite arose to a height of some ninety feet; and, as I have mentioned, the valley at this point was not more than fifty feet wide; but as the visitor proceeded southwardly from the cliff, he found on his right hand and on his left, declivities at once less high, less precipitous, and less rocky. All, in a word, sloped and softened to the south; and yet the whole vale was engirdled by eminences, more or less high, except at two points. One of these I have already spoken of. It lay considerably to the north of west, and was where the setting sun made its way, as I have before described, into the amphitheatre, through a cleanly cut natural cleft in the granite embankment; this fissure might have been ten yards wide at its widest point, so far as the eye could trace it. It seemed to lead up, up like a natural causeway, into the recesses of unexplored mountains and forests. The other opening was directly at the southern end of the vale. Here, generally, the slopes were nothing more than gentle inclinations, extending from east to west about one hundred and fifty yards. In the middle of this extent was a depression, level with the ordinary floor of the valley. As regards vegetation, as well as in respect to every thing else, the scene softened and sloped to the south. To the north—on the craggy precipice—a few paces from the verge—up sprang the magnificent trunks of numerous hickories, black walnuts, and chestnuts, interspersed with occasional oak; and the strong lateral branches thrown out by the walnuts especially, spread far over the edge of the cliff. Proceeding southwardly, the explorer saw, at first, the same class of trees, but less and less lofty and Salvatorish in character; then he saw the gentler elm, succeeded by the sassafras and locust—these again by the softer linden, red-bud, catalpa, and maple—these yet again by still more graceful and more modest varieties. The whole face of the southern declivity was covered with wild shrubbery alone—an occasional silver willow or white poplar excepted. In the bottom of the valley itself—(for it must be borne in mind that the vegetation hitherto mentioned grew only on the cliffs or hillsides)—were to be seen three insulated trees. One was an elm of fine size and exquisite form: it stood guard over the southern gate of the vale. Another was a hickory, much larger than the elm, and altogether a much finer tree, although both were exceedingly beautiful: it seemed to have taken charge of the northwestern entrance, springing from a group of rocks in the very jaws of the ravine, and throwing its graceful body, at an angle of nearly forty-five degrees, far out into the sunshine of the amphitheatre. About thirty yards east of this tree stood, however, the pride of the valley, and beyond all question the most magnificent tree I have ever seen, unless, perhaps, among the cypresses of the Itchiatuckanee. It was a triple-stemmed tulip-tree—the Liriodendron Tulipiferum—one of the natural order of magnolias. Its three trunks separated from the parent at about three feet from the soil, and diverging very slightly and gradually, were not more than four feet apart at the point where the largest stem shot out into foliage: this was at an elevation of about eighty feet. The whole height of the principal division was one hundred and twenty feet. Nothing can surpass in beauty the form, or the glossy, vivid green of the leaves of the tulip-tree. In the present instance they were fully eight inches wide; but their glory was altogether eclipsed by the gorgeous splendor of the profuse blossoms. Conceive, closely congregated, a million of the largest and most resplendent tulips! Only thus can the reader get any idea of the picture I would convey. And then the stately grace of the clean, delicately-granulated columnar stems, the largest four feet in diameter, at twenty from the ground. The innumerable blossoms, mingling with those of other trees scarcely less beautiful, although infinitely less majestic, filled the valley with more than Arabian perfumes.

The small valley I looked down into from beneath the fog couldn't have been more than four hundred yards long, while its width varied between fifty and one hundred fifty or maybe two hundred yards. It was narrowest at the northern end, opening up as it sloped southward, but not in a perfectly regular way. The widest part was within eighty yards of the southern end. The slopes surrounding the valley can't really be called hills, except for the northern side. Here, a steep ledge of granite rose about ninety feet high; and as I mentioned, the valley at this point was only about fifty feet wide. But as you moved south from the cliff, you would find that the slopes on either side were less steep, less dramatic, and less rocky. Everything sloped downwards and softened to the south, yet the entire valley was bordered by hills of varying heights, except for two spots. One of these has already been mentioned. It was situated quite a bit to the north and west, where the setting sun entered the amphitheater through a natural cleft in the granite wall; this opening might have been up to ten yards wide at its widest point, as far as the eye could see. It seemed to lead up like a natural pathway into the unexplored mountains and forests. The other opening was right at the southern end of the valley. Here, the slopes were just gentle inclines stretching about one hundred fifty yards from east to west. In the middle of this stretch was a depression, level with the floor of the valley. Regarding the vegetation and everything else, the scene sloped softly to the south. To the north—on the rocky ledge—just a few steps from the edge—rose the magnificent trunks of numerous hickories, black walnuts, and chestnuts, mixed with occasional oaks; and the strong side branches, especially from the walnuts, spread far over the cliff's edge. Moving south, the explorer initially saw the same types of trees, but they were shorter and less dramatic in appearance; then he saw the gentler elm, followed by sassafras and locust trees—then came the softer linden, redbud, catalpa, and maple—followed by even more graceful and modest varieties. The entire southern slope was covered with wild shrubs, with the occasional silver willow or white poplar. In the valley's bottom itself—(it should be noted that the vegetation mentioned so far grew only on the cliffs or hillsides)—there were three isolated trees. One was a large, beautifully shaped elm: it stood at the southern entrance of the valley. Another was a hickory, much bigger than the elm and overall a much finer tree, even though both were stunning: it appeared to guard the northwestern entrance, emerging from a group of rocks at the ravine’s edge, stretching its graceful form at nearly a forty-five-degree angle into the sunlight of the amphitheater. About thirty yards to the east stood the pride of the valley, undoubtedly the most magnificent tree I have ever seen, unless perhaps among the cypresses of the Itchiatuckanee. It was a triple-stemmed tulip tree—the Liriodendron Tulipiferum—part of the magnolia family. The three trunks split from the base about three feet off the ground and diverged slightly, being not more than four feet apart where the largest stem started to bear leaves: this occurred at about eighty feet high. The total height of the main trunk was one hundred twenty feet. Nothing can surpass the beauty of the form or the glossy, vivid green of the tulip tree’s leaves. In this case, they were fully eight inches wide; but their glory was completely overshadowed by the stunning beauty of its abundant blossoms. Imagine, tightly packed, a million of the largest and most vibrant tulips! Only then can the reader grasp the image I want to convey. And then there were the elegant, clean, delicately-textured columnar trunks, the largest measuring four feet in diameter at twenty feet up. The countless blossoms mingled with those of other trees that were also beautiful, though far less majestic, filling the valley with an exquisite fragrance.

The general floor of the amphitheatre was grass of the same character as that I had found in the road; if anything, more deliciously soft, thick, velvety, and miraculously green. It was hard to conceive how all this beauty had been attained.

The main floor of the amphitheater was covered in grass just like what I had seen on the road; if anything, it was even softer, thicker, plusher, and an unbelievably vibrant green. It was hard to imagine how all this beauty had been achieved.

I have spoken of two openings into the vale. From the one to the northwest issued a rivulet, which came, gently murmuring and slightly foaming, down the ravine, until it dashed against the group of rocks out of which sprang the insulated hickory. Here, after encircling the tree, it passed on a little to the north of east, leaving the tulip tree some twenty feet to the south, and making no decided alteration in its course until it came near the midway between the eastern and western boundaries of the valley. At this point, after a series of sweeps, it turned off at right angles and pursued a generally southern direction meandering as it went—until it became lost in a small lake of irregular figure (although roughly oval), that lay gleaming near the lower extremity of the vale. This lakelet was, perhaps, a hundred yards in diameter at its widest part. No crystal could be clearer than its waters. Its bottom, which could be distinctly seen, consisted altogether, of pebbles brilliantly white. Its banks, of the emerald grass already described, rounded, rather than sloped, off into the clear heaven below; and so clear was this heaven, so perfectly, at times, did it reflect all objects above it, that where the true bank ended and where the mimic one commenced, it was a point of no little difficulty to determine. The trout, and some other varieties of fish, with which this pond seemed to be almost inconveniently crowded, had all the appearance of veritable flying-fish. It was almost impossible to believe that they were not absolutely suspended in the air. A light birch canoe that lay placidly on the water, was reflected in its minutest fibres with a fidelity unsurpassed by the most exquisitely polished mirror. A small island, fairly laughing with flowers in full bloom, and affording little more space than just enough for a picturesque little building, seemingly a fowl-house—arose from the lake not far from its northern shore—to which it was connected by means of an inconceivably light-looking and yet very primitive bridge. It was formed of a single, broad and thick plank of the tulip wood. This was forty feet long, and spanned the interval between shore and shore with a slight but very perceptible arch, preventing all oscillation. From the southern extreme of the lake issued a continuation of the rivulet, which, after meandering for, perhaps, thirty yards, finally passed through the “depression” (already described) in the middle of the southern declivity, and tumbling down a sheer precipice of a hundred feet, made its devious and unnoticed way to the Hudson.

I talked about two entrances to the valley. From the northwest one flowed a small stream, gently bubbling and lightly foaming as it made its way down the gorge until it crashed against a cluster of rocks where an isolated hickory tree stood. Here, after curling around the tree, the stream continued a bit north of east, leaving the tulip tree about twenty feet to the south, and it didn’t change its path until it reached the midpoint between the valley's eastern and western edges. At this point, after a series of curves, it turned sharply and followed a generally southern route, winding along its way—until it disappeared into a small, irregularly shaped lake (roughly oval) that glinted near the lower end of the valley. This little lake was about a hundred yards wide at its broadest point. Its waters were as clear as crystal. The bottom, which was clearly visible, was made entirely of brilliantly white pebbles. Its banks, covered in the emerald grass described earlier, rounded gently into the clear sky below; so transparent was this sky, and so perfectly did it sometimes reflect the objects above, that it was difficult to tell where the real bank ended and the reflected one began. The trout and various other fish that seemed nearly overpopulated in this pond looked as if they were real flying fish. It was hard to believe they weren’t actually suspended in mid-air. A light birch canoe floating serenely on the water was mirrored with a clarity unmatched by even the finest polished mirror. A small island bursting with blooming flowers, just big enough for a charming little structure that appeared to be a chicken coop, rose from the lake not far from its northern shore. This island was connected to the shore by an incredibly delicate yet very simple bridge made from a single broad and thick plank of tulip wood. It was forty feet long, arching slightly across the distance between the shores, ensuring stability without any wobbling. From the southern end of the lake, the stream continued, meandering for about thirty yards before passing through the “depression” (previously described) in the middle of the southern slope, and then tumbling down a sheer drop of a hundred feet, making its twisted and unnoticed journey to the Hudson.

The lake was deep—at some points thirty feet—but the rivulet seldom exceeded three, while its greatest width was about eight. Its bottom and banks were as those of the pond—if a defect could have been attributed, in point of picturesqueness, it was that of excessive neatness.

The lake was deep—at some points thirty feet—but the stream rarely got above three, with its maximum width about eight. Its bottom and banks were similar to those of the pond—if there was a flaw in terms of picturesque quality, it was that everything looked too tidy.

The expanse of the green turf was relieved, here and there, by an occasional showy shrub, such as the hydrangea, or the common snowball, or the aromatic seringa; or, more frequently, by a clump of geraniums blossoming gorgeously in great varieties. These latter grew in pots which were carefully buried in the soil, so as to give the plants the appearance of being indigenous. Besides all this, the lawn’s velvet was exquisitely spotted with sheep—a considerable flock of which roamed about the vale, in company with three tamed deer, and a vast number of brilliantly-plumed ducks. A very large mastiff seemed to be in vigilant attendance upon these animals, each and all.

The stretch of green grass was periodically punctuated by a few striking shrubs, like the hydrangea, the common snowball, or the fragrant seringa; more often, it was dotted with clusters of geraniums blooming vibrantly in a variety of colors. These were planted in pots that were carefully set into the ground to make it look like the plants were native to the area. Additionally, the lawn's soft texture was beautifully marked by sheep—a sizable flock of which roamed the valley alongside three tame deer and a large number of brightly colored ducks. A large mastiff appeared to be attentively watching over all of these animals.

Along the eastern and western cliffs—where, toward the upper portion of the amphitheatre, the boundaries were more or less precipitous—grew ivy in great profusion—so that only here and there could even a glimpse of the naked rock be obtained. The northern precipice, in like manner, was almost entirely clothed by grape-vines of rare luxuriance; some springing from the soil at the base of the cliff, and others from ledges on its face.

Along the eastern and western cliffs—where, towards the upper part of the amphitheater, the edges were steep—ivy grew in abundance, making it difficult to catch even a glimpse of the bare rock. The northern cliff was similarly covered almost entirely by lush grapevines; some grew from the ground at the base of the cliff, while others sprouted from ledges on its surface.

The slight elevation which formed the lower boundary of this little domain, was crowned by a neat stone wall, of sufficient height to prevent the escape of the deer. Nothing of the fence kind was observable elsewhere; for nowhere else was an artificial enclosure needed:—any stray sheep, for example, which should attempt to make its way out of the vale by means of the ravine, would find its progress arrested, after a few yards’ advance, by the precipitous ledge of rock over which tumbled the cascade that had arrested my attention as I first drew near the domain. In short, the only ingress or egress was through a gate occupying a rocky pass in the road, a few paces below the point at which I stopped to reconnoitre the scene.

The slight rise that marked the lower boundary of this small estate was topped with a tidy stone wall, tall enough to keep the deer from escaping. There were no other fences in sight because none were needed elsewhere: any wandering sheep trying to leave the valley through the ravine would quickly be stopped after a few yards by the steep rock ledge over which the waterfall tumbled, catching my attention when I first approached the estate. In short, the only way in or out was through a gate located in a rocky passage in the road, just a few steps below where I paused to observe the scene.

I have described the brook as meandering very irregularly through the whole of its course. Its two general directions, as I have said, were first from west to east, and then from north to south. At the turn, the stream, sweeping backward, made an almost circular loop, so as to form a peninsula which was very nearly an island, and which included about the sixteenth of an acre. On this peninsula stood a dwelling-house—and when I say that this house, like the infernal terrace seen by Vathek, “etait d’une architecture inconnue dans les annales de la terre,” I mean, merely, that its tout ensemble struck me with the keenest sense of combined novelty and propriety—in a word, of poetry—(for, than in the words just employed, I could scarcely give, of poetry in the abstract, a more rigorous definition)—and I do not mean that merely outre was perceptible in any respect.

I described the brook as winding very irregularly throughout its entire path. Its two main directions, as I mentioned, were first from west to east, and then from north to south. At the bend, the stream looped back, creating an almost circular curve, forming a peninsula that was almost an island, covering about a sixteenth of an acre. On this peninsula stood a house—and when I say that this house, like the infernal terrace seen by Vathek, “était d’une architecture inconnue dans les annales de la terre,” I mean that its overall look struck me with a strong feeling of both newness and appropriateness—in other words, a sense of poetry—(for, more than in the words I just used, I could hardly provide a stricter definition of poetry in the abstract)—and I don't mean that anything merely unusual was noticeable in any way.

In fact nothing could well be more simple—more utterly unpretending than this cottage. Its marvellous effect lay altogether in its artistic arrangement as a picture. I could have fancied, while I looked at it, that some eminent landscape-painter had built it with his brush.

In fact, nothing could be simpler—more completely unassuming than this cottage. Its remarkable appeal came entirely from its artistic composition as a scene. I could have imagined, as I gazed at it, that some famous landscape painter had created it with his brush.

The point of view from which I first saw the valley, was not altogether, although it was nearly, the best point from which to survey the house. I will therefore describe it as I afterwards saw it—from a position on the stone wall at the southern extreme of the amphitheatre.

The perspective from which I first viewed the valley wasn’t entirely, but it was almost, the best spot to see the house. So, I’ll describe it as I later saw it—from a spot on the stone wall at the southern edge of the amphitheater.

The main building was about twenty-four feet long and sixteen broad—certainly not more. Its total height, from the ground to the apex of the roof, could not have exceeded eighteen feet. To the west end of this structure was attached one about a third smaller in all its proportions:—the line of its front standing back about two yards from that of the larger house, and the line of its roof, of course, being considerably depressed below that of the roof adjoining. At right angles to these buildings, and from the rear of the main one—not exactly in the middle—extended a third compartment, very small—being, in general, one-third less than the western wing. The roofs of the two larger were very steep—sweeping down from the ridge-beam with a long concave curve, and extending at least four feet beyond the walls in front, so as to form the roofs of two piazzas. These latter roofs, of course, needed no support; but as they had the air of needing it, slight and perfectly plain pillars were inserted at the corners alone. The roof of the northern wing was merely an extension of a portion of the main roof. Between the chief building and western wing arose a very tall and rather slender square chimney of hard Dutch bricks, alternately black and red:—a slight cornice of projecting bricks at the top. Over the gables the roofs also projected very much:—in the main building about four feet to the east and two to the west. The principal door was not exactly in the main division, being a little to the east—while the two windows were to the west. These latter did not extend to the floor, but were much longer and narrower than usual—they had single shutters like doors—the panes were of lozenge form, but quite large. The door itself had its upper half of glass, also in lozenge panes—a movable shutter secured it at night. The door to the west wing was in its gable, and quite simple—a single window looked out to the south. There was no external door to the north wing, and it also had only one window to the east.

The main building was about twenty-four feet long and sixteen feet wide—definitely no more than that. Its total height, from the ground to the peak of the roof, couldn’t have been more than eighteen feet. Attached to the west end of this structure was one that was about a third smaller in all its dimensions: the front line stood back about two yards from that of the larger house, and the roofline was noticeably lower than the adjoining roof. Perpendicular to these buildings, at the back of the main one—not exactly in the center—extended a small third compartment, generally one-third smaller than the western wing. The roofs of the two larger buildings were very steep, sloping down from the ridge beam with a long concave curve, extending at least four feet beyond the front walls to create the roofs of two porches. These porch roofs didn’t need any support; however, to give the impression that they did, simple, plain pillars were placed at the corners. The roof of the northern wing was just an extension of a section of the main roof. Between the main building and the western wing rose a tall, fairly slender square chimney made of hard Dutch bricks, alternating between black and red, with a slight cornice of protruding bricks at the top. The roofs also extended quite a bit over the gables: on the main building, about four feet to the east and two feet to the west. The main door was slightly east of the center, while the two windows were on the west side. These windows didn’t reach the floor and were much longer and narrower than usual—they had single shutters like doors—the panes were diamond-shaped but rather large. The door itself had its upper half made of glass, also in diamond panes, and a movable shutter secured it at night. The door to the west wing was simple and located in its gable—a single window looked out to the south. There was no external door for the north wing, which also only had one window facing east.

The blank wall of the eastern gable was relieved by stairs (with a balustrade) running diagonally across it—the ascent being from the south. Under cover of the widely projecting eave these steps gave access to a door leading to the garret, or rather loft—for it was lighted only by a single window to the north, and seemed to have been intended as a store-room.

The bare wall of the eastern gable was broken up by stairs (with a railing) that ran diagonally across it, leading up from the south. Sheltered by the wide overhanging eave, these steps led to a door that opened into the attic, or more accurately, the loft—since it was lit by just one window facing north and appeared to have been meant for storage.

The piazzas of the main building and western wing had no floors, as is usual; but at the doors and at each window, large, flat irregular slabs of granite lay imbedded in the delicious turf, affording comfortable footing in all weather. Excellent paths of the same material—not nicely adapted, but with the velvety sod filling frequent intervals between the stones, led hither and thither from the house, to a crystal spring about five paces off, to the road, or to one or two out-houses that lay to the north, beyond the brook, and were thoroughly concealed by a few locusts and catalpas.

The plazas of the main building and the west wing didn’t have floors, as was typical; but at the doors and every window, large, flat, irregular slabs of granite were set into the lush grass, providing a comfortable surface no matter the weather. There were great paths made of the same material—not perfectly laid out, but with soft grass filling the gaps between the stones—that wove from the house to a clear spring about five steps away, to the road, or to a couple of outbuildings located to the north, beyond the stream, which were well hidden by a few locust and catalpa trees.

Not more than six steps from the main door of the cottage stood the dead trunk of a fantastic pear-tree, so clothed from head to foot in the gorgeous bignonia blossoms that one required no little scrutiny to determine what manner of sweet thing it could be. From various arms of this tree hung cages of different kinds. In one, a large wicker cylinder with a ring at top, revelled a mocking bird; in another an oriole; in a third the impudent bobolink—while three or four more delicate prisons were loudly vocal with canaries.

Not more than six steps from the main door of the cottage stood the dead trunk of a spectacular pear tree, completely covered in beautiful bignonia blossoms that you had to look closely to see what kind of sweet thing it was. From various branches of this tree hung cages of different kinds. In one, a large wicker cylinder with a ring at the top held a mockingbird; in another, an oriole; in a third, the cheeky bobolink—while three or four more delicate cages were filled with singing canaries.

The pillars of the piazza were enwreathed in jasmine and sweet honeysuckle; while from the angle formed by the main structure and its west wing, in front, sprang a grape-vine of unexampled luxuriance. Scorning all restraint, it had clambered first to the lower roof—then to the higher; and along the ridge of this latter it continued to writhe on, throwing out tendrils to the right and left, until at length it fairly attained the east gable, and fell trailing over the stairs.

The pillars of the plaza were wrapped in jasmine and sweet honeysuckle, while at the corner where the main building met its west wing, there was an exceptionally lush grapevine. Ignoring any boundaries, it climbed first to the lower roof and then to the higher one; along the edge of the latter, it kept twisting and stretching, sending out tendrils to the right and left, until it finally reached the east gable and draped down over the stairs.

The whole house, with its wings, was constructed of the old-fashioned Dutch shingles—broad, and with unrounded corners. It is a peculiarity of this material to give houses built of it the appearance of being wider at bottom than at top—after the manner of Egyptian architecture; and in the present instance, this exceedingly picturesque effect was aided by numerous pots of gorgeous flowers that almost encompassed the base of the buildings.

The entire house, including its wings, was made of traditional Dutch shingles—wide and with sharp corners. This material tends to make houses look wider at the bottom than at the top, similar to Egyptian architecture. In this case, this very striking effect was enhanced by many pots of beautiful flowers that nearly surrounded the base of the buildings.

The shingles were painted a dull gray; and the happiness with which this neutral tint melted into the vivid green of the tulip tree leaves that partially overshadowed the cottage, can readily be conceived by an artist.

The shingles were painted a dull gray, and the way this neutral color blended into the bright green of the tulip tree leaves that partially shaded the cottage is something an artist can easily imagine.

From the position near the stone wall, as described, the buildings were seen at great advantage—for the southeastern angle was thrown forward—so that the eye took in at once the whole of the two fronts, with the picturesque eastern gable, and at the same time obtained just a sufficient glimpse of the northern wing, with parts of a pretty roof to the spring-house, and nearly half of a light bridge that spanned the brook in the near vicinity of the main buildings.

From the spot near the stone wall, as mentioned, the buildings were seen to great effect—since the southeastern corner jutted out—allowing the eye to capture both facades at once, along with the charming eastern gable, while also providing just enough view of the northern wing, showcasing sections of a lovely roof over the spring-house, and almost half of a light bridge crossing the brook right next to the main buildings.

I did not remain very long on the brow of the hill, although long enough to make a thorough survey of the scene at my feet. It was clear that I had wandered from the road to the village, and I had thus good traveller’s excuse to open the gate before me, and inquire my way, at all events; so, without more ado, I proceeded.

I didn't stay on the hilltop for long, but long enough to take in the view below me. It was obvious that I had strayed from the path to the village, so I had a good reason to open the gate in front of me and ask for directions, at the very least; without any hesitation, I moved forward.

The road, after passing the gate, seemed to lie upon a natural ledge, sloping gradually down along the face of the north-eastern cliffs. It led me on to the foot of the northern precipice, and thence over the bridge, round by the eastern gable to the front door. In this progress, I took notice that no sight of the out-houses could be obtained.

The road, after passing the gate, appeared to rest on a natural ledge, sloping gently down along the north-eastern cliffs. It guided me to the base of the northern cliff, and then over the bridge, around the eastern side to the front door. During this journey, I noticed that I couldn't see any of the outbuildings.

As I turned the corner of the gable, the mastiff bounded towards me in stern silence, but with the eye and the whole air of a tiger. I held him out my hand, however, in token of amity—and I never yet knew the dog who was proof against such an appeal to his courtesy. He not only shut his mouth and wagged his tail, but absolutely offered me his paw—afterward extending his civilities to Ponto.

As I turned the corner of the roof, the mastiff sprinted toward me in silent seriousness, but with a look and demeanor like a tiger. Still, I held out my hand as a gesture of friendship—and I’ve never met a dog that could resist such a friendly approach. He not only stopped growling and wagged his tail, but he also offered me his paw—then he extended the same courtesy to Ponto.

As no bell was discernible, I rapped with my stick against the door, which stood half open. Instantly a figure advanced to the threshold—that of a young woman about twenty-eight years of age—slender, or rather slight, and somewhat above the medium height. As she approached, with a certain modest decision of step altogether indescribable. I said to myself, “Surely here I have found the perfection of natural, in contradistinction from artificial grace.” The second impression which she made on me, but by far the more vivid of the two, was that of enthusiasm. So intense an expression of romance, perhaps I should call it, or of unworldliness, as that which gleamed from her deep-set eyes, had never so sunk into my heart of hearts before. I know not how it is, but this peculiar expression of the eye, wreathing itself occasionally into the lips, is the most powerful, if not absolutely the sole spell, which rivets my interest in woman. “Romance,” provided my readers fully comprehended what I would here imply by the word—“romance” and “womanliness” seem to me convertible terms: and, after all, what man truly loves in woman, is simply her womanhood. The eyes of Annie (I heard some one from the interior call her “Annie, darling!”) were “spiritual grey;” her hair, a light chestnut: this is all I had time to observe of her.

As there was no bell to be heard, I tapped my stick against the door, which was half open. Instantly, a figure approached the threshold—a young woman around twenty-eight years old—slender or rather slight, and slightly taller than average. As she came closer, with a certain indescribable, modest confidence in her step, I thought to myself, “Surely, I have found the epitome of natural beauty, contrasting sharply with artificial grace.” The second impression she made on me, and by far the stronger one, was of enthusiasm. The intense expression of romance—if I may call it that—or of otherworldliness that shone from her deep-set eyes had never penetrated so deeply into my heart before. I don’t know why, but that unique look in her eyes, often reflected in her lips, is the most powerful, if not the only, charm that captures my interest in women. “Romance”—if my readers truly grasp what I mean by this word—“romance” and “womanliness” seem to me to be interchangeable terms: and, ultimately, what a man really loves in a woman is simply her femininity. The eyes of Annie (I heard someone from inside call her “Annie, darling!”) were “spiritual grey,” and her hair was a light chestnut; that’s all I had time to notice about her.

At her most courteous of invitations, I entered—passing first into a tolerably wide vestibule. Having come mainly to observe, I took notice that to my right as I stepped in, was a window, such as those in front of the house; to the left, a door leading into the principal room; while, opposite me, an open door enabled me to see a small apartment, just the size of the vestibule, arranged as a study, and having a large bow window looking out to the north.

At her kind invitation, I stepped in, first entering a reasonably sized foyer. Since I was mainly there to watch, I noticed that to my right as I came in was a window, similar to the ones at the front of the house; to my left, a door leading into the main room; and directly across from me, an open door showed a small room, about the same size as the foyer, set up as a study, with a large bow window facing north.

Passing into the parlor, I found myself with Mr. Landor—for this, I afterwards found, was his name. He was civil, even cordial in his manner, but just then, I was more intent on observing the arrangements of the dwelling which had so much interested me, than the personal appearance of the tenant.

Passing into the living room, I found myself with Mr. Landor—for that was his name, as I later discovered. He was polite, even friendly in his demeanor, but at that moment, I was more focused on taking in the layout of the home that had intrigued me so much, rather than on the looks of its occupant.

The north wing, I now saw, was a bed-chamber, its door opened into the parlor. West of this door was a single window, looking toward the brook. At the west end of the parlor, were a fireplace, and a door leading into the west wing—probably a kitchen.

The north wing, I now realized, was a bedroom, and its door led into the living room. To the west of this door was a single window facing the creek. At the west end of the living room, there was a fireplace and a door leading into the west wing—likely a kitchen.

Nothing could be more rigorously simple than the furniture of the parlor. On the floor was an ingrain carpet, of excellent texture—a white ground, spotted with small circular green figures. At the windows were curtains of snowy white jaconet muslin: they were tolerably full, and hung decisively, perhaps rather formally in sharp, parallel plaits to the floor—just to the floor. The walls were prepared with a French paper of great delicacy, a silver ground, with a faint green cord running zig-zag throughout. Its expanse was relieved merely by three of Julien’s exquisite lithographs a trois crayons, fastened to the wall without frames. One of these drawings was a scene of Oriental luxury, or rather voluptuousness; another was a “carnival piece,” spirited beyond compare; the third was a Greek female head—a face so divinely beautiful, and yet of an expression so provokingly indeterminate, never before arrested my attention.

Nothing could be more simply elegant than the furniture in the parlor. On the floor was a high-quality ingrain carpet with a white background, decorated with small, round green patterns. At the windows were curtains made of fresh white jaconet muslin: they were nicely full and hung straight, almost formally, in sharp, parallel folds down to the floor— just to the floor. The walls were covered with a delicate French wallpaper, featuring a silver background and a faint green zigzag cord running through it. This space was only accented by three of Julien’s exquisite lithographs done in three crayons, hung on the wall without frames. One of these drawings depicted a scene of Eastern luxury, or rather sensuality; another was a "carnival piece," full of lively energy; and the third was a Greek female head—a face so stunning and yet so frustratingly ambiguous, it had never failed to catch my attention before.

The more substantial furniture consisted of a round table, a few chairs (including a large rocking-chair), and a sofa, or rather “settee;” its material was plain maple painted a creamy white, slightly interstriped with green; the seat of cane. The chairs and table were “to match,” but the forms of all had evidently been designed by the same brain which planned “the grounds;” it is impossible to conceive anything more graceful.

The main furniture included a round table, several chairs (one of which was a large rocking chair), and a sofa, or rather a “settee.” It was made of simple maple painted a creamy white, with a slight green stripe. The seats were made of cane. The chairs and table were designed to match, but you could tell that the same person who designed the grounds also designed the furniture; it’s hard to imagine anything more elegant.

On the table were a few books; a large, square, crystal bottle of some novel perfume; a plain ground glass astral (not solar) lamp with an Italian shade; and a large vase of resplendently-blooming flowers. Flowers, indeed, of gorgeous colours and delicate odour formed the sole mere decoration of the apartment. The fire-place was nearly filled with a vase of brilliant geranium. On a triangular shelf in each angle of the room stood also a similar vase, varied only as to its lovely contents. One or two smaller bouquets adorned the mantel, and late violets clustered about the open windows.

On the table were a few books, a large square crystal bottle of some new perfume, a plain ground glass astral (not solar) lamp with an Italian shade, and a large vase of brightly blooming flowers. The flowers, with their stunning colors and delicate scent, were the only decoration in the apartment. The fireplace was almost filled with a vase of vibrant geraniums. On a triangular shelf in each corner of the room stood similar vases, varying only in their beautiful contents. One or two smaller bouquets decorated the mantel, and late violets gathered around the open windows.

It is not the purpose of this work to do more than give in detail, a picture of Mr. Landor’s residence—as I found it. How he made it what it was—and why—with some particulars of Mr. Landor himself—may, possibly form the subject of another article.

The goal of this work is simply to provide a detailed description of Mr. Landor’s home as I discovered it. How he transformed it into what it was—and the reasons behind it—along with some details about Mr. Landor himself, might be the focus of another article.

WILLIAM WILSON

What say of it? what say of CONSCIENCE grim,
That spectre in my path?
                    —Chamberlayne’s Pharronida.

What to make of it? What to think of CONSCIENCE grim,
That ghost in my way?
                    —Chamberlayne’s Pharronida.

Let me call myself, for the present, William Wilson. The fair page now lying before me need not be sullied with my real appellation. This has been already too much an object for the scorn—for the horror—for the detestation of my race. To the uttermost regions of the globe have not the indignant winds bruited its unparalleled infamy? Oh, outcast of all outcasts most abandoned!—to the earth art thou not forever dead? to its honors, to its flowers, to its golden aspirations?—and a cloud, dense, dismal, and limitless, does it not hang eternally between thy hopes and heaven?

Let me call myself, for now, William Wilson. The clean page in front of me doesn’t need to be stained with my real name. It has already become too much of a target for the scorn, the horror, and the hatred of my kind. Haven’t the angry winds carried its unmatched infamy to the farthest corners of the earth? Oh, outcast of all outcasts, most forsaken!—are you not forever dead to the world? To its honors, its beauty, its golden dreams?—and doesn’t a dense, gloomy, and endless cloud hang endlessly between your hopes and the heavens?

I would not, if I could, here or to-day, embody a record of my later years of unspeakable misery, and unpardonable crime. This epoch—these later years—took unto themselves a sudden elevation in turpitude, whose origin alone it is my present purpose to assign. Men usually grow base by degrees. From me, in an instant, all virtue dropped bodily as a mantle. From comparatively trivial wickedness I passed, with the stride of a giant, into more than the enormities of an Elah-Gabalus. What chance—what one event brought this evil thing to pass, bear with me while I relate. Death approaches; and the shadow which foreruns him has thrown a softening influence over my spirit. I long, in passing through the dim valley, for the sympathy—I had nearly said for the pity—of my fellow men. I would fain have them believe that I have been, in some measure, the slave of circumstances beyond human control. I would wish them to seek out for me, in the details I am about to give, some little oasis of fatality amid a wilderness of error. I would have them allow—what they cannot refrain from allowing—that, although temptation may have erewhile existed as great, man was never thus, at least, tempted before—certainly, never thus fell. And is it therefore that he has never thus suffered? Have I not indeed been living in a dream? And am I not now dying a victim to the horror and the mystery of the wildest of all sublunary visions?

I wouldn’t, if I could, share a record of my later years filled with unimaginable misery and unforgivable crime. This period—these later years—suddenly escalated in depravity, and it’s my only purpose now to explain its origin. Usually, people sink into baseness gradually. But for me, virtue fell away instantly like a discarded cloak. From relatively minor wickedness, I leaped, like a giant, into more than the extremes of an Elah-Gabalus. What chance—what single event led to this evil transformation? Please bear with me as I explain. Death is approaching, and the shadow that precedes him has cast a softening influence over my spirit. As I traverse this dim valley, I long for the sympathy—I almost said pity—of my fellow humans. I wish for them to believe that I have, to some extent, been a victim of circumstances beyond anyone's control. I hope they can find in the details I’m about to share some small oasis of fate amidst a wilderness of mistakes. I want them to acknowledge—what they can't help but recognize—that although temptation may have been just as strong before, no one has ever been tempted like this—certainly, no one has ever fallen like this. And is that why he has never suffered like this? Have I truly been living in a dream? And am I not now dying as a victim of the horror and mystery of the wildest of all visions?

I am the descendant of a race whose imaginative and easily excitable temperament has at all times rendered them remarkable; and, in my earliest infancy, I gave evidence of having fully inherited the family character. As I advanced in years it was more strongly developed; becoming, for many reasons, a cause of serious disquietude to my friends, and of positive injury to myself. I grew self-willed, addicted to the wildest caprices, and a prey to the most ungovernable passions. Weak-minded, and beset with constitutional infirmities akin to my own, my parents could do but little to check the evil propensities which distinguished me. Some feeble and ill-directed efforts resulted in complete failure on their part, and, of course, in total triumph on mine. Thenceforward my voice was a household law; and at an age when few children have abandoned their leading-strings, I was left to the guidance of my own will, and became, in all but name, the master of my own actions.

I come from a lineage known for its imaginative and easily excited nature, which has always made them stand out. Even as a young child, I clearly showed that I had fully inherited this family trait. As I grew older, it became even more pronounced, causing serious concern for my friends and harm to myself. I became headstrong, drawn to wild impulses, and overwhelmed by uncontrollable emotions. My parents, lacking strength of mind and dealing with their own weaknesses, could do little to rein in my troublesome tendencies. Their feeble and misguided attempts completely failed, leading to my victory over them. From that point on, my word became law at home; and at an age when most kids are still under parental guidance, I was left to my own devices and effectively became the master of my own actions.

My earliest recollections of a school-life, are connected with a large, rambling, Elizabethan house, in a misty-looking village of England, where were a vast number of gigantic and gnarled trees, and where all the houses were excessively ancient. In truth, it was a dream-like and spirit-soothing place, that venerable old town. At this moment, in fancy, I feel the refreshing chilliness of its deeply-shadowed avenues, inhale the fragrance of its thousand shrubberies, and thrill anew with undefinable delight, at the deep hollow note of the church-bell, breaking, each hour, with sullen and sudden roar, upon the stillness of the dusky atmosphere in which the fretted Gothic steeple lay imbedded and asleep.

My earliest memories of school life are tied to a large, sprawling Elizabethan house in a misty village in England, surrounded by many huge, twisted trees, and where all the houses were incredibly old. It was truly a dreamlike and comforting place, that ancient town. Right now, in my mind, I can feel the refreshing chill of its shadowy streets, breathe in the scent of its numerous shrubs, and feel a surge of indescribable joy at the deep, echoing sound of the church bell ringing every hour, suddenly breaking the stillness of the dusky atmosphere where the intricate Gothic steeple rests peacefully.

It gives me, perhaps, as much of pleasure as I can now in any manner experience, to dwell upon minute recollections of the school and its concerns. Steeped in misery as I am—misery, alas! only too real—I shall be pardoned for seeking relief, however slight and temporary, in the weakness of a few rambling details. These, moreover, utterly trivial, and even ridiculous in themselves, assume, to my fancy, adventitious importance, as connected with a period and a locality when and where I recognise the first ambiguous monitions of the destiny which afterwards so fully overshadowed me. Let me then remember.

It gives me, probably, as much pleasure as I can feel these days to think about the little memories of the school and what went on there. Feeling miserable as I am—miserable, unfortunately, all too real—I hope I can be excused for looking for relief, however small and temporary, in sharing some scattered details. These details, though completely trivial and even ridiculous on their own, take on a kind of importance for me because they’re tied to a time and place where I first sensed the unclear hints of the fate that would eventually weigh heavily on me. So let me remember.

The house, I have said, was old and irregular. The grounds were extensive, and a high and solid brick wall, topped with a bed of mortar and broken glass, encompassed the whole. This prison-like rampart formed the limit of our domain; beyond it we saw but thrice a week—once every Saturday afternoon, when, attended by two ushers, we were permitted to take brief walks in a body through some of the neighbouring fields—and twice during Sunday, when we were paraded in the same formal manner to the morning and evening service in the one church of the village. Of this church the principal of our school was pastor. With how deep a spirit of wonder and perplexity was I wont to regard him from our remote pew in the gallery, as, with step solemn and slow, he ascended the pulpit! This reverend man, with countenance so demurely benign, with robes so glossy and so clerically flowing, with wig so minutely powdered, so rigid and so vast,—-could this be he who, of late, with sour visage, and in snuffy habiliments, administered, ferule in hand, the Draconian laws of the academy? Oh, gigantic paradox, too utterly monstrous for solution!

The house, as I mentioned, was old and uneven. The grounds were large, and a tall, sturdy brick wall, topped with a layer of mortar and broken glass, surrounded everything. This prison-like barrier marked the boundary of our territory; beyond it, we only saw the outside world three times a week—once every Saturday afternoon, when, accompanied by two ushers, we were allowed to take short walks in the neighboring fields—and twice on Sunday, when we were led in the same formal way to the morning and evening service at the village church. The principal of our school was the pastor of that church. How I used to watch him from our distant pew in the gallery with a mix of wonder and confusion as he ascended the pulpit with a slow and solemn gait! This reverend man, with his gently serene expression, flowing, shiny robes, and carefully powdered wig—could this really be the same person who recently, with a sour look and shabby clothes, wielded a ruler to enforce the strict rules of the school? Oh, what a huge contradiction, far too baffling to understand!

At an angle of the ponderous wall frowned a more ponderous gate. It was riveted and studded with iron bolts, and surmounted with jagged iron spikes. What impressions of deep awe did it inspire! It was never opened save for the three periodical egressions and ingressions already mentioned; then, in every creak of its mighty hinges, we found a plenitude of mystery—a world of matter for solemn remark, or for more solemn meditation.

At an angle of the heavy wall loomed an even heavier gate. It was covered in iron rivets and bolts and topped with sharp iron spikes. It inspired a profound sense of awe! It was only ever opened for the three regular times people went in and out, and each time its massive hinges creaked, it filled us with mystery—a lot to thoughtfully consider or reflect on seriously.

The extensive enclosure was irregular in form, having many capacious recesses. Of these, three or four of the largest constituted the play-ground. It was level, and covered with fine hard gravel. I well remember it had no trees, nor benches, nor anything similar within it. Of course it was in the rear of the house. In front lay a small parterre, planted with box and other shrubs, but through this sacred division we passed only upon rare occasions indeed—such as a first advent to school or final departure thence, or perhaps, when a parent or friend having called for us, we joyfully took our way home for the Christmas or Midsummer holidays.

The large yard was an odd shape, with many spacious recesses. Three or four of the biggest areas made up the playground. It was flat and covered in nice, hard gravel. I clearly remember that it had no trees, benches, or anything like that inside. Naturally, it was at the back of the house. In front, there was a small garden planted with boxwoods and other shrubs, but we only passed through this special area on very rare occasions—like our first day of school or the last day, or maybe when a parent or friend picked us up and we excitedly headed home for Christmas or summer break.

But the house!—how quaint an old building was this!—to me how veritably a palace of enchantment! There was really no end to its windings—to its incomprehensible subdivisions. It was difficult, at any given time, to say with certainty upon which of its two stories one happened to be. From each room to every other there were sure to be found three or four steps either in ascent or descent. Then the lateral branches were innumerable—inconceivable—and so returning in upon themselves, that our most exact ideas in regard to the whole mansion were not very far different from those with which we pondered upon infinity. During the five years of my residence here, I was never able to ascertain with precision, in what remote locality lay the little sleeping apartment assigned to myself and some eighteen or twenty other scholars.

But the house!—what a charming old building this was!—to me, it truly felt like a magical palace! There were endless twists and turns—its confusing layout had countless sections. It was hard, at any moment, to know for sure which of its two stories you were on. Each room was connected to others by three or four steps up or down. Then there were countless side passages—unimaginable—and they looped back on themselves, making our clearest ideas about the whole place not much different from contemplating infinity. During the five years I lived here, I never figured out where exactly the little sleeping room assigned to me and about eighteen or twenty other students was located.

The school-room was the largest in the house—I could not help thinking, in the world. It was very long, narrow, and dismally low, with pointed Gothic windows and a ceiling of oak. In a remote and terror-inspiring angle was a square enclosure of eight or ten feet, comprising the sanctum, “during hours,” of our principal, the Reverend Dr. Bransby. It was a solid structure, with massy door, sooner than open which in the absence of the “Dominie,” we would all have willingly perished by the peine forte et dure. In other angles were two other similar boxes, far less reverenced, indeed, but still greatly matters of awe. One of these was the pulpit of the “classical” usher, one of the “English and mathematical.” Interspersed about the room, crossing and recrossing in endless irregularity, were innumerable benches and desks, black, ancient, and time-worn, piled desperately with much-bethumbed books, and so beseamed with initial letters, names at full length, grotesque figures, and other multiplied efforts of the knife, as to have entirely lost what little of original form might have been their portion in days long departed. A huge bucket with water stood at one extremity of the room, and a clock of stupendous dimensions at the other.

The classroom was the biggest room in the house—I couldn't help but think, in the whole world. It was very long, narrow, and gloomy, with pointed Gothic windows and an oak ceiling. In a far-off and intimidating corner was a square enclosure about eight or ten feet wide, serving as the “during hours” sanctuary of our principal, the Reverend Dr. Bransby. It was a sturdy structure, with a heavy door that we would all rather have faced extreme punishment than open in the absence of the “Dominie.” In other corners were two similar boxes, much less respected, but still quite intimidating. One was the pulpit for the "classical" teacher, and the other for the "English and mathematical" one. Scattered throughout the room, crossing and recrossing in endless irregularity, were countless benches and desks, black, old, and worn down, desperately piled with well-thumbed books, and covered with initials, full names, bizarre drawings, and other countless attempts made with a knife, completely losing whatever original shape they might have had in days long gone. A large bucket of water stood at one end of the room, and an enormous clock was at the other.

Encompassed by the massy walls of this venerable academy, I passed, yet not in tedium or disgust, the years of the third lustrum of my life. The teeming brain of childhood requires no external world of incident to occupy or amuse it; and the apparently dismal monotony of a school was replete with more intense excitement than my riper youth has derived from luxury, or my full manhood from crime. Yet I must believe that my first mental development had in it much of the uncommon—even much of the outré. Upon mankind at large the events of very early existence rarely leave in mature age any definite impression. All is gray shadow—a weak and irregular remembrance—an indistinct regathering of feeble pleasures and phantasmagoric pains. With me this is not so. In childhood I must have felt with the energy of a man what I now find stamped upon memory in lines as vivid, as deep, and as durable as the exergues of the Carthaginian medals.

Surrounded by the massive walls of this ancient academy, I spent, but not with boredom or disgust, the years of my fifth birthday. The lively imagination of childhood doesn’t need an outside world full of events to keep it occupied or entertained; and the seemingly dull routine of school was filled with more intense excitement than my later youth found in luxury, or my full adulthood found in crime. Still, I must believe that my early mental growth contained a lot of the unusual—even a lot of the outré. For most people, the events of early life rarely leave a clear mark in adulthood. Everything becomes a gray blur—an uncertain and fragmented memory—an unclear gathering of fleeting joys and strange pains. That’s not the case for me. In childhood, I must have felt with the intensity of an adult what I now find etched in my memory in lines as vivid, as deep, and as lasting as the exergues of Carthaginian coins.

Yet in fact—in the fact of the world’s view—how little was there to remember! The morning’s awakening, the nightly summons to bed; the connings, the recitations; the periodical half-holidays, and perambulations; the play-ground, with its broils, its pastimes, its intrigues;—these, by a mental sorcery long forgotten, were made to involve a wilderness of sensation, a world of rich incident, an universe of varied emotion, of excitement the most passionate and spirit-stirring. “Oh, le bon temps, que ce siècle de fer!

Yet in reality—in the way the world sees it—there was so little to remember! The morning wake-up, the nightly call to bed; the lessons, the recitations; the occasional half-days off, and walks; the playground, with its fights, its fun, its dramas;—these, through a mental magic long lost, were turned into a vast landscape of feelings, a world full of rich experiences, a universe of diverse emotions, of the most intense and stirring excitement. “Oh, the good times, what an iron age this is!

In truth, the ardor, the enthusiasm, and the imperiousness of my disposition, soon rendered me a marked character among my schoolmates, and by slow, but natural gradations, gave me an ascendancy over all not greatly older than myself;—over all with a single exception. This exception was found in the person of a scholar, who, although no relation, bore the same Christian and surname as myself;—a circumstance, in fact, little remarkable; for, notwithstanding a noble descent, mine was one of those everyday appellations which seem, by prescriptive right, to have been, time out of mind, the common property of the mob. In this narrative I have therefore designated myself as William Wilson,—a fictitious title not very dissimilar to the real. My namesake alone, of those who in school phraseology constituted “our set,” presumed to compete with me in the studies of the class—in the sports and broils of the play-ground—to refuse implicit belief in my assertions, and submission to my will—indeed, to interfere with my arbitrary dictation in any respect whatsoever. If there is on earth a supreme and unqualified despotism, it is the despotism of a master-mind in boyhood over the less energetic spirits of its companions.

Honestly, my passion, enthusiasm, and assertiveness quickly made me stand out among my classmates, and gradually, I gained influence over everyone who wasn't much older than me—everyone except one person. This exception was a student who, although not related to me, had the same first and last name as I did; a fact that wasn’t particularly unusual, since despite my noble ancestry, my name was one of those common ones that seemed to have been shared by the masses for ages. In this story, I refer to myself as William Wilson—a made-up name not far off from the real one. My namesake was the only one among our group who dared to challenge me in class studies, in the games and arguments on the playground, to question my claims, and to reject my authority—indeed, to interfere with my control in any way. If there’s an absolute and unquestionable dominance, it’s the rule of a gifted child over the less assertive peers.

Wilson’s rebellion was to me a source of the greatest embarrassment; the more so as, in spite of the bravado with which in public I made a point of treating him and his pretensions, I secretly felt that I feared him, and could not help thinking the equality which he maintained so easily with myself, a proof of his true superiority; since not to be overcome cost me a perpetual struggle. Yet this superiority—even this equality—was in truth acknowledged by no one but myself; our associates, by some unaccountable blindness, seemed not even to suspect it. Indeed, his competition, his resistance, and especially his impertinent and dogged interference with my purposes, were not more pointed than private. He appeared to be destitute alike of the ambition which urged, and of the passionate energy of mind which enabled me to excel. In his rivalry he might have been supposed actuated solely by a whimsical desire to thwart, astonish, or mortify myself; although there were times when I could not help observing, with a feeling made up of wonder, abasement, and pique, that he mingled with his injuries, his insults, or his contradictions, a certain most inappropriate, and assuredly most unwelcome affectionateness of manner. I could only conceive this singular behavior to arise from a consummate self-conceit assuming the vulgar airs of patronage and protection.

Wilson’s rebellion was a huge embarrassment for me; even more so because, despite the bold front I put on in public while dismissing him and his claims, I secretly feared him. I couldn’t shake the feeling that the ease with which he maintained equality with me was proof of his true superiority, since staying unbent in our encounters felt like an ongoing struggle for me. However, this superiority—even the equality—was really acknowledged by no one but me; our peers, in some strange way, didn’t even seem to notice it. In fact, his competition, his resistance, and especially his rude and stubborn interference with my plans were just as private as they were pointed. He seemed completely devoid of the ambition that drove me and the passionate energy that allowed me to excel. In his rivalry, you might think he was motivated solely by a quirky desire to frustrate, astonish, or embarrass me; although there were times when I couldn’t help but notice, with feelings of wonder, humiliation, and annoyance, that alongside his injuries, insults, or contradictions, he had a certain inappropriate and definitely unwelcome affectionate manner. I could only imagine that this odd behavior stemmed from an extreme self-importance that took on the cheap airs of patronage and protection.

Perhaps it was this latter trait in Wilson’s conduct, conjoined with our identity of name, and the mere accident of our having entered the school upon the same day, which set afloat the notion that we were brothers, among the senior classes in the academy. These do not usually inquire with much strictness into the affairs of their juniors. I have before said, or should have said, that Wilson was not, in the most remote degree, connected with my family. But assuredly if we had been brothers we must have been twins; for, after leaving Dr. Bransby’s, I casually learned that my namesake was born on the nineteenth of January, 1813—and this is a somewhat remarkable coincidence; for the day is precisely that of my own nativity.

Maybe it was this last characteristic of Wilson’s behavior, along with our shared last name and the simple coincidence that we started school on the same day, that led others to believe we were brothers in the higher classes of the academy. They typically don’t dig too deep into the lives of younger students. I’ve mentioned before, or I should have mentioned, that Wilson was in no way related to my family. But if we had been brothers, we would have had to be twins; after leaving Dr. Bransby’s, I casually found out that my namesake was born on January 19, 1813—and that’s a pretty striking coincidence because it’s the exact date of my own birth.

It may seem strange that in spite of the continual anxiety occasioned me by the rivalry of Wilson, and his intolerable spirit of contradiction, I could not bring myself to hate him altogether. We had, to be sure, nearly every day a quarrel in which, yielding me publicly the palm of victory, he, in some manner, contrived to make me feel that it was he who had deserved it; yet a sense of pride on my part, and a veritable dignity on his own, kept us always upon what are called “speaking terms,” while there were many points of strong congeniality in our tempers, operating to awake me in a sentiment which our position alone, perhaps, prevented from ripening into friendship. It is difficult, indeed, to define, or even to describe, my real feelings towards him. They formed a motley and heterogeneous admixture;—some petulant animosity, which was not yet hatred, some esteem, more respect, much fear, with a world of uneasy curiosity. To the moralist it will be unnecessary to say, in addition, that Wilson and myself were the most inseparable of companions.

It might seem odd that despite the constant anxiety caused by my rivalry with Wilson and his annoying habit of always opposing me, I couldn’t fully bring myself to hate him. We had almost daily arguments where he would publicly concede victory to me, but somehow he managed to make me feel like he was the one who really deserved it. Still, my pride and his undeniable dignity kept us on what people call “speaking terms,” and there were many strong similarities in our personalities that sparked feelings in me that our situation probably stopped from turning into friendship. It’s actually tough to pinpoint or even describe my true feelings about him. They were a mixed bag—some irritation that wasn’t quite hatred, a bit of admiration, more respect, quite a bit of fear, and a ton of restless curiosity. It’s also unnecessary to mention, for the moralist, that Wilson and I were the most inseparable of companions.

It was no doubt the anomalous state of affairs existing between us, which turned all my attacks upon him, (and they were many, either open or covert) into the channel of banter or practical joke (giving pain while assuming the aspect of mere fun) rather than into a more serious and determined hostility. But my endeavours on this head were by no means uniformly successful, even when my plans were the most wittily concocted; for my namesake had much about him, in character, of that unassuming and quiet austerity which, while enjoying the poignancy of its own jokes, has no heel of Achilles in itself, and absolutely refuses to be laughed at. I could find, indeed, but one vulnerable point, and that, lying in a personal peculiarity, arising, perhaps, from constitutional disease, would have been spared by any antagonist less at his wit’s end than myself;—my rival had a weakness in the faucal or guttural organs, which precluded him from raising his voice at any time above a very low whisper. Of this defect I did not fail to take what poor advantage lay in my power.

It was definitely the unusual situation between us that turned all my attacks on him (and they were many, either openly or subtly) into banter or practical jokes (causing pain while pretending to be just fun) instead of something more serious and hostile. But my efforts in this regard were not always successful, even when my plans were cleverly thought out; my namesake had a modest and quietly serious nature that, while appreciating the sharpness of its own jokes, had no vulnerability and absolutely refused to be laughed at. I could find only one weak spot, and that, due to a personal issue that probably stemmed from a health condition, would have been overlooked by any opponent less desperate than I was; my rival had a weakness in his throat that prevented him from raising his voice above a very low whisper. I certainly didn’t miss the chance to take advantage of that flaw.

Wilson’s retaliations in kind were many; and there was one form of his practical wit that disturbed me beyond measure. How his sagacity first discovered at all that so petty a thing would vex me, is a question I never could solve; but, having discovered, he habitually practised the annoyance. I had always felt aversion to my uncourtly patronymic, and its very common, if not plebeian praenomen. The words were venom in my ears; and when, upon the day of my arrival, a second William Wilson came also to the academy, I felt angry with him for bearing the name, and doubly disgusted with the name because a stranger bore it, who would be the cause of its twofold repetition, who would be constantly in my presence, and whose concerns, in the ordinary routine of the school business, must inevitably, on account of the detestable coincidence, be often confounded with my own.

Wilson's retaliations were numerous, and there was one way he used his cleverness that bothered me a lot. How he figured out that such a trivial thing would annoy me is a mystery I could never unravel; but once he figured it out, he made a habit of doing it. I had always disliked my awkward surname and its very common, if not lowly, first name. The words felt like poison in my ears; and when, on the day I arrived, another William Wilson also showed up at the academy, I was upset with him for having the same name and even more frustrated because a stranger had it. He would cause my name to be repeated twice, he would always be around me, and because of this terrible coincidence, his matters would often be mixed up with mine in the usual school activities.

The feeling of vexation thus engendered grew stronger with every circumstance tending to show resemblance, moral or physical, between my rival and myself. I had not then discovered the remarkable fact that we were of the same age; but I saw that we were of the same height, and I perceived that we were even singularly alike in general contour of person and outline of feature. I was galled, too, by the rumor touching a relationship, which had grown current in the upper forms. In a word, nothing could more seriously disturb me, (although I scrupulously concealed such disturbance,) than any allusion to a similarity of mind, person, or condition existing between us. But, in truth, I had no reason to believe that (with the exception of the matter of relationship, and in the case of Wilson himself,) this similarity had ever been made a subject of comment, or even observed at all by our schoolfellows. That he observed it in all its bearings, and as fixedly as I, was apparent; but that he could discover in such circumstances so fruitful a field of annoyance, can only be attributed, as I said before, to his more than ordinary penetration.

The feeling of annoyance grew stronger with every situation that showed any similarity, whether moral or physical, between my rival and me. At that point, I hadn’t realized that we were the same age; however, I noticed that we were the same height, and I could see that we were remarkably alike in overall shape and facial features. I was also irritated by the rumor about a possible relationship, which had started circulating among the older students. In short, nothing could upset me more—though I carefully hid that upset—than any mention of a similarity in mind, appearance, or circumstances between us. But honestly, I had no reason to believe that (aside from the matter of relationship, and in Wilson’s case) this similarity had ever been commented on or even noticed by our classmates. It was clear that he noticed it in all its aspects, just as I did; but the fact that he found so much annoyance in it can only be attributed, as I mentioned before, to his unusually keen insight.

His cue, which was to perfect an imitation of myself, lay both in words and in actions; and most admirably did he play his part. My dress it was an easy matter to copy; my gait and general manner were, without difficulty, appropriated; in spite of his constitutional defect, even my voice did not escape him. My louder tones were, of course, unattempted, but then the key—it was identical; and his singular whisper, it grew the very echo of my own.

His cue, which was to perfectly imitate me, was found in both my words and actions; and he played his part remarkably well. Copying my style of dress was simple; he easily adopted my walk and general mannerisms; despite his natural limitations, he even managed to mimic my voice. He didn’t attempt my louder tones, but the pitch was the same; and his unique whisper became the very echo of my own.

How greatly this most exquisite portraiture harassed me, (for it could not justly be termed a caricature,) I will not now venture to describe. I had but one consolation—in the fact that the imitation, apparently, was noticed by myself alone, and that I had to endure only the knowing and strangely sarcastic smiles of my namesake himself. Satisfied with having produced in my bosom the intended effect, he seemed to chuckle in secret over the sting he had inflicted, and was characteristically disregardful of the public applause which the success of his witty endeavours might have so easily elicited. That the school, indeed, did not feel his design, perceive its accomplishment, and participate in his sneer, was, for many anxious months, a riddle I could not resolve. Perhaps the gradation of his copy rendered it not so readily perceptible; or, more possibly, I owed my security to the master air of the copyist, who, disdaining the letter, (which in a painting is all the obtuse can see,) gave but the full spirit of his original for my individual contemplation and chagrin.

How much this beautifully detailed portrait troubled me (since it definitely couldn't be called a caricature), I won't try to explain now. I only had one consolation: it seemed that I was the only one who noticed the imitation, and I only had to deal with the knowing and oddly sarcastic smiles from my namesake himself. Satisfied with the effect he had created in me, he seemed to laugh quietly over the sting he had caused and was characteristically indifferent to the public praise that the success of his clever efforts could have easily brought him. The fact that the school didn’t grasp his intent, recognize its success, and share in his mockery was, for many anxious months, a puzzle I couldn't figure out. Maybe the subtlety of his copy made it less obvious; or, more likely, I owed my escape to the confident attitude of the imitator, who, looking past the surface (which is all the ignorant can see in a painting), only conveyed the true essence of his original for my personal reflection and discomfort.

I have already more than once spoken of the disgusting air of patronage which he assumed toward me, and of his frequent officious interference with my will. This interference often took the ungracious character of advice; advice not openly given, but hinted or insinuated. I received it with a repugnance which gained strength as I grew in years. Yet, at this distant day, let me do him the simple justice to acknowledge that I can recall no occasion when the suggestions of my rival were on the side of those errors or follies so usual to his immature age and seeming inexperience; that his moral sense, at least, if not his general talents and worldly wisdom, was far keener than my own; and that I might, to-day, have been a better, and thus a happier man, had I less frequently rejected the counsels embodied in those meaning whispers which I then but too cordially hated and too bitterly despised.

I’ve mentioned more than once how frustrating his condescending attitude toward me was, and how he often meddled with my decisions. This meddling usually came in the form of ungrateful advice—not given directly, but hinted at. I accepted it with a growing reluctance that only intensified as I got older. However, looking back now, I have to admit that I can’t recall a single instance when my rival’s suggestions led me toward the typical mistakes or foolishness of someone his age and perceived inexperience. His moral judgment, at least, if not his overall skills and street smarts, was sharper than mine. I might have been a better and therefore happier person today had I not so often dismissed the guidance wrapped in those meaningful whispers that I then deeply resented and looked down upon.

As it was, I at length grew restive in the extreme under his distasteful supervision, and daily resented more and more openly what I considered his intolerable arrogance. I have said that, in the first years of our connexion as schoolmates, my feelings in regard to him might have been easily ripened into friendship; but, in the latter months of my residence at the academy, although the intrusion of his ordinary manner had, beyond doubt, in some measure, abated, my sentiments, in nearly similar proportion, partook very much of positive hatred. Upon one occasion he saw this, I think, and afterwards avoided, or made a show of avoiding me.

As it happened, I eventually became extremely restless under his annoying supervision, and every day I openly resented what I saw as his unbearable arrogance more and more. I mentioned that in the first years of our connection as classmates, my feelings towards him could have easily developed into friendship; however, in the final months of my time at the academy, even though his usual behavior had, without a doubt, lessened to some degree, my feelings were, in almost the same way, filled with a strong dislike. On one occasion, I think he noticed this, and afterward he either avoided me or pretended to avoid me.

It was about the same period, if I remember aright, that, in an altercation of violence with him, in which he was more than usually thrown off his guard, and spoke and acted with an openness of demeanor rather foreign to his nature, I discovered, or fancied I discovered, in his accent, his air, and general appearance, a something which first startled, and then deeply interested me, by bringing to mind dim visions of my earliest infancy—wild, confused and thronging memories of a time when memory herself was yet unborn. I cannot better describe the sensation which oppressed me than by saying that I could with difficulty shake off the belief of my having been acquainted with the being who stood before me, at some epoch very long ago—some point of the past even infinitely remote. The delusion, however, faded rapidly as it came; and I mention it at all but to define the day of the last conversation I there held with my singular namesake.

Around that same time, if I remember correctly, I had a heated argument with him during which he was unusually caught off guard, revealing a more open demeanor that was quite unlike him. In that moment, I noticed, or thought I noticed, something in his voice, his manner, and overall appearance that first took me by surprise and then fascinated me, as it brought back vague images from my earliest childhood—wild, jumbled memories from a time when I couldn’t yet remember anything. I can best describe the feeling that overwhelmed me by saying that I struggled to shake off the idea that I had known the person in front of me at some point very long ago—some moment in the past that felt infinitely distant. However, that illusion faded quickly as it had appeared, and I bring it up only to mark the day of my last conversation with my unusual namesake.

The huge old house, with its countless subdivisions, had several large chambers communicating with each other, where slept the greater number of the students. There were, however, (as must necessarily happen in a building so awkwardly planned,) many little nooks or recesses, the odds and ends of the structure; and these the economic ingenuity of Dr. Bransby had also fitted up as dormitories; although, being the merest closets, they were capable of accommodating but a single individual. One of these small apartments was occupied by Wilson.

The huge old house, with its many subdivisions, had several large rooms connected to each other, where most of the students slept. However, there were also many little nooks or recesses, the leftovers of the building's awkward design; and these had been creatively converted into dorms by Dr. Bransby, even though they were just tiny closets that could only fit one person. One of these small rooms was occupied by Wilson.

One night, about the close of my fifth year at the school, and immediately after the altercation just mentioned, finding every one wrapped in sleep, I arose from bed, and, lamp in hand, stole through a wilderness of narrow passages from my own bedroom to that of my rival. I had long been plotting one of those ill-natured pieces of practical wit at his expense in which I had hitherto been so uniformly unsuccessful. It was my intention, now, to put my scheme in operation, and I resolved to make him feel the whole extent of the malice with which I was imbued. Having reached his closet, I noiselessly entered, leaving the lamp, with a shade over it, on the outside. I advanced a step, and listened to the sound of his tranquil breathing. Assured of his being asleep, I returned, took the light, and with it again approached the bed. Close curtains were around it, which, in the prosecution of my plan, I slowly and quietly withdrew, when the bright rays fell vividly upon the sleeper, and my eyes, at the same moment, upon his countenance. I looked;—and a numbness, an iciness of feeling instantly pervaded my frame. My breast heaved, my knees tottered, my whole spirit became possessed with an objectless yet intolerable horror. Gasping for breath, I lowered the lamp in still nearer proximity to the face. Were these—these the lineaments of William Wilson? I saw, indeed, that they were his, but I shook as if with a fit of the ague in fancying they were not. What was there about them to confound me in this manner? I gazed;—while my brain reeled with a multitude of incoherent thoughts. Not thus he appeared—assuredly not thus—in the vivacity of his waking hours. The same name! the same contour of person! the same day of arrival at the academy! And then his dogged and meaningless imitation of my gait, my voice, my habits, and my manner! Was it, in truth, within the bounds of human possibility, that what I now saw was the result, merely, of the habitual practice of this sarcastic imitation? Awe-stricken, and with a creeping shudder, I extinguished the lamp, passed silently from the chamber, and left, at once, the halls of that old academy, never to enter them again.

One night, near the end of my fifth year at the school, right after the argument I just mentioned, I found everyone fast asleep. I got out of bed, lamp in hand, and quietly navigated through a maze of narrow hallways from my room to my rival’s. I had been planning one of those mean-spirited practical jokes at his expense, which I had always failed at before. Now, I intended to set my plan in motion and decided to unleash the full extent of my malice on him. Once I reached his closet, I quietly entered, leaving the lamp, with its shade on, outside. I took a step forward and listened to the sound of his calm breathing. Confident that he was asleep, I went back, grabbed the lamp, and moved closer to the bed. The curtains were drawn tightly around it, which I slowly pulled back, allowing the bright light to spill onto the sleeper and my gaze to land on his face. I looked; and an overwhelming numbness and chill washed over me. My chest tightened, my knees felt weak, and an indescribable horror seized my entire being. Struggling to breathe, I lowered the lamp even closer to his face. Were these—were these really the features of William Wilson? I recognized them as his, but I shook like I had a fever, terrified that they might not be. What was it about them that unsettled me so deeply? I stared, while my mind spun with a jumble of confusing thoughts. This wasn’t how he looked—definitely not like this—when he was awake and lively. The same name! The same body shape! The same day we arrived at the academy! And then there was his stubborn and pointless mimicry of my walk, my voice, my habits, and my demeanor! Was it even possible that what I was seeing was just the result of his constant sarcastic imitation? Overcome with fear, and shivering, I turned off the lamp, slipped out of the room, and left the old academy behind, never to return.

After a lapse of some months, spent at home in mere idleness, I found myself a student at Eton. The brief interval had been sufficient to enfeeble my remembrance of the events at Dr. Bransby’s, or at least to effect a material change in the nature of the feelings with which I remembered them. The truth—the tragedy—of the drama was no more. I could now find room to doubt the evidence of my senses; and seldom called up the subject at all but with wonder at extent of human credulity, and a smile at the vivid force of the imagination which I hereditarily possessed. Neither was this species of scepticism likely to be diminished by the character of the life I led at Eton. The vortex of thoughtless folly into which I there so immediately and so recklessly plunged, washed away all but the froth of my past hours, engulfed at once every solid or serious impression, and left to memory only the veriest levities of a former existence.

After a few months of just hanging out at home, I found myself a student at Eton. That short break had been enough to weaken my memories of what happened at Dr. Bransby’s, or at least to change how I felt about them. The truth—the tragedy—of what had happened was gone. Now I could doubt my own senses, and I rarely thought about it without wondering at how gullible people can be, and smiling at the vivid imagination that I seemed to inherit. This kind of skepticism wasn’t likely to fade with the way I lived at Eton. The whirlwind of careless fun I dove into so quickly and thoughtlessly washed away everything but the superficial memories of my past, swallowing up any serious impressions and leaving me with only the most trivial moments of a previous life.

I do not wish, however, to trace the course of my miserable profligacy here—a profligacy which set at defiance the laws, while it eluded the vigilance of the institution. Three years of folly, passed without profit, had but given me rooted habits of vice, and added, in a somewhat unusual degree, to my bodily stature, when, after a week of soulless dissipation, I invited a small party of the most dissolute students to a secret carousal in my chambers. We met at a late hour of the night; for our debaucheries were to be faithfully protracted until morning. The wine flowed freely, and there were not wanting other and perhaps more dangerous seductions; so that the gray dawn had already faintly appeared in the east, while our delirious extravagance was at its height. Madly flushed with cards and intoxication, I was in the act of insisting upon a toast of more than wonted profanity, when my attention was suddenly diverted by the violent, although partial unclosing of the door of the apartment, and by the eager voice of a servant from without. He said that some person, apparently in great haste, demanded to speak with me in the hall.

I don’t want to go into details about my miserable indulgence here—an indulgence that ignored the rules while slipping past the watchfulness of the institution. Three years of foolishness, spent with no gain, only ingrained bad habits in me and, somewhat unusually, made me taller. After a week of soulless partying, I invited a small group of the most reckless students for a secret bash in my room. We gathered late at night, planning to keep the debauchery going until morning. The wine flowed freely, along with some other, possibly more dangerous temptations, and the gray dawn had just started to break in the east while our wild extravagance peaked. Intoxicated and buzzing from the excitement of cards and drinking, I was about to propose a toast that was more inappropriate than usual when my attention was suddenly caught by the loud, though partial, opening of the door, and the eager voice of a servant outside. He said that someone, clearly in a hurry, wanted to speak to me in the hall.

Wildly excited with wine, the unexpected interruption rather delighted than surprised me. I staggered forward at once, and a few steps brought me to the vestibule of the building. In this low and small room there hung no lamp; and now no light at all was admitted, save that of the exceedingly feeble dawn which made its way through the semi-circular window. As I put my foot over the threshold, I became aware of the figure of a youth about my own height, and habited in a white kerseymere morning frock, cut in the novel fashion of the one I myself wore at the moment. This the faint light enabled me to perceive; but the features of his face I could not distinguish. Upon my entering he strode hurriedly up to me, and, seizing me by the arm with a gesture of petulant impatience, whispered the words “William Wilson!” in my ear.

Wildly excited from the wine, the unexpected interruption delighted me rather than surprised me. I staggered forward immediately, and a few steps took me to the entrance of the building. In this small, low room, there was no lamp; and now no light came in except for the extremely weak dawn that filtered through the semi-circular window. As I stepped over the threshold, I noticed a young man about my height, wearing a white morning frock made of kerseymere, styled in the same trendy way as mine. I could make this out in the dim light, but I couldn't see his facial features. As I entered, he quickly approached me, and grabbing my arm with an impatient gesture, whispered “William Wilson!” in my ear.

I grew perfectly sober in an instant.

I suddenly became fully sober.

There was that in the manner of the stranger, and in the tremulous shake of his uplifted finger, as he held it between my eyes and the light, which filled me with unqualified amazement; but it was not this which had so violently moved me. It was the pregnancy of solemn admonition in the singular, low, hissing utterance; and, above all, it was the character, the tone, the key, of those few, simple, and familiar, yet whispered syllables, which came with a thousand thronging memories of bygone days, and struck upon my soul with the shock of a galvanic battery. Ere I could recover the use of my senses he was gone.

There was something about the way the stranger held himself, and the trembling shake of his outstretched finger as he placed it between my eyes and the light, that completely amazed me; however, that wasn’t what had shaken me so deeply. It was the weight of serious warning in his unique, low, hissing voice; and, above all, it was the feel, the tone, the sound of those few, simple, familiar, yet whispered words that brought back a flood of memories from the past and hit my soul like an electric shock. Before I could regain my composure, he was gone.

Although this event failed not of a vivid effect upon my disordered imagination, yet was it evanescent as vivid. For some weeks, indeed, I busied myself in earnest inquiry, or was wrapped in a cloud of morbid speculation. I did not pretend to disguise from my perception the identity of the singular individual who thus perseveringly interfered with my affairs, and harassed me with his insinuated counsel. But who and what was this Wilson?—and whence came he?—and what were his purposes? Upon neither of these points could I be satisfied; merely ascertaining, in regard to him, that a sudden accident in his family had caused his removal from Dr. Bransby’s academy on the afternoon of the day in which I myself had eloped. But in a brief period I ceased to think upon the subject; my attention being all absorbed in a contemplated departure for Oxford. Thither I soon went; the uncalculating vanity of my parents furnishing me with an outfit and annual establishment, which would enable me to indulge at will in the luxury already so dear to my heart,—to vie in profuseness of expenditure with the haughtiest heirs of the wealthiest earldoms in Great Britain.

Although this event didn't lack a strong impact on my restless imagination, it faded as quickly as it appeared. For several weeks, I was either deeply engaged in serious inquiries or lost in a fog of disturbing thoughts. I didn't try to hide from myself the identity of the unusual person who persistently intruded on my life and troubled me with his implied advice. But who was this Wilson? Where did he come from? What were his intentions? I couldn't settle on any of these questions; I only confirmed that a sudden incident in his family led to his departure from Dr. Bransby’s academy on the same afternoon I had run away. However, it wasn't long before I stopped thinking about him, as my focus shifted entirely to preparing for my move to Oxford. I soon made that move, thanks to my parents' unchecked pride providing me with an outfit and an annual allowance that would allow me to indulge in the luxury I already loved—to spend lavishly like the most privileged heirs of the wealthiest earldoms in Great Britain.

Excited by such appliances to vice, my constitutional temperament broke forth with redoubled ardor, and I spurned even the common restraints of decency in the mad infatuation of my revels. But it were absurd to pause in the detail of my extravagance. Let it suffice, that among spendthrifts I out-Heroded Herod, and that, giving name to a multitude of novel follies, I added no brief appendix to the long catalogue of vices then usual in the most dissolute university of Europe.

Fueled by such temptations, my natural disposition surged with even more intensity, and I disregarded the basic standards of decency in my wild indulgence. But it would be ridiculous to get into the specifics of my excesses. It’s enough to say that among the spendthrifts, I was the most excessive of them all, and that by introducing a bunch of new crazes, I added significantly to the already long list of vices common in the most debauched university in Europe.

It could hardly be credited, however, that I had, even here, so utterly fallen from the gentlemanly estate, as to seek acquaintance with the vilest arts of the gambler by profession, and, having become an adept in his despicable science, to practise it habitually as a means of increasing my already enormous income at the expense of the weak-minded among my fellow-collegians. Such, nevertheless, was the fact. And the very enormity of this offence against all manly and honourable sentiment proved, beyond doubt, the main if not the sole reason of the impunity with which it was committed. Who, indeed, among my most abandoned associates, would not rather have disputed the clearest evidence of his senses, than have suspected of such courses, the gay, the frank, the generous William Wilson—the noblest and most liberal commoner at Oxford—him whose follies (said his parasites) were but the follies of youth and unbridled fancy—whose errors but inimitable whim—whose darkest vice but a careless and dashing extravagance?

It was hard to believe that I had, even here, completely fallen from the status of a gentleman to the point of seeking to get involved with the lowest tricks of a professional gambler. I had become skilled in this despicable practice and was using it regularly to increase my already huge income at the expense of the gullible among my fellow students. Yet, that was the reality. The sheer seriousness of this offense against all that is manly and honorable was, without a doubt, the main, if not the only, reason I managed to get away with it. Who among my most debased friends would rather argue against the clearest evidence of their own senses than suspect the cheerful, straightforward, generous William Wilson—the noblest and most generous commoner at Oxford—who, as his sycophants claimed, had follies that were merely the silliness of youth and uncontrolled imagination, whose mistakes were just unique quirks, and whose worst vice was nothing more than a carefree and extravagant lifestyle?

I had been now two years successfully busied in this way, when there came to the university a young parvenu nobleman, Glendinning—rich, said report, as Herodes Atticus—his riches, too, as easily acquired. I soon found him of weak intellect, and, of course, marked him as a fitting subject for my skill. I frequently engaged him in play, and contrived, with the gambler’s usual art, to let him win considerable sums, the more effectually to entangle him in my snares. At length, my schemes being ripe, I met him (with the full intention that this meeting should be final and decisive) at the chambers of a fellow-commoner, (Mr. Preston,) equally intimate with both, but who, to do him justice, entertained not even a remote suspicion of my design. To give to this a better coloring, I had contrived to have assembled a party of some eight or ten, and was solicitously careful that the introduction of cards should appear accidental, and originate in the proposal of my contemplated dupe himself. To be brief upon a vile topic, none of the low finesse was omitted, so customary upon similar occasions that it is a just matter for wonder how any are still found so besotted as to fall its victim.

I had been busy with this for two years now when a young, newly wealthy nobleman named Glendinning came to the university. He was said to be as rich as Herodes Atticus, and he got his money just as easily. I quickly realized he wasn't very bright, which made him a perfect target for my skills. I often played games with him and, using a gambler's tricks, let him win a lot of money to further trap him. Eventually, when my plans were ready, I met him (with the full intention of making this meeting final and decisive) at the place of a fellow student, Mr. Preston, who was close to both of us but had no idea about my intentions. To make the situation seem more casual, I gathered a group of about eight or ten people and made sure that playing cards seemed like a spontaneous idea coming from my intended victim. To make a long story short, I didn’t miss any of the low tricks usually done in these situations, and it’s really surprising that anyone would be foolish enough to fall for them.

We had protracted our sitting far into the night, and I had at length effected the manoeuvre of getting Glendinning as my sole antagonist. The game, too, was my favorite écarté! The rest of the company, interested in the extent of our play, had abandoned their own cards, and were standing around us as spectators. The parvenu, who had been induced by my artifices in the early part of the evening, to drink deeply, now shuffled, dealt, or played, with a wild nervousness of manner for which his intoxication, I thought, might partially, but could not altogether account. In a very short period he had become my debtor to a large amount, when, having taken a long draught of port, he did precisely what I had been coolly anticipating—he proposed to double our already extravagant stakes. With a well-feigned show of reluctance, and not until after my repeated refusal had seduced him into some angry words which gave a color of pique to my compliance, did I finally comply. The result, of course, did but prove how entirely the prey was in my toils: in less than an hour he had quadrupled his debt. For some time his countenance had been losing the florid tinge lent it by the wine; but now, to my astonishment, I perceived that it had grown to a pallor truly fearful. I say to my astonishment. Glendinning had been represented to my eager inquiries as immeasurably wealthy; and the sums which he had as yet lost, although in themselves vast, could not, I supposed, very seriously annoy, much less so violently affect him. That he was overcome by the wine just swallowed, was the idea which most readily presented itself; and, rather with a view to the preservation of my own character in the eyes of my associates, than from any less interested motive, I was about to insist, peremptorily, upon a discontinuance of the play, when some expressions at my elbow from among the company, and an ejaculation evincing utter despair on the part of Glendinning, gave me to understand that I had effected his total ruin under circumstances which, rendering him an object for the pity of all, should have protected him from the ill offices even of a fiend.

We had extended our game deep into the night, and I had finally managed to get Glendinning to be my only opponent. The game was my favorite, *écarté!* The others in the group, intrigued by how we were playing, had put down their own cards and gathered around us as spectators. The social climber, who I had encouraged to drink heavily earlier in the evening, now shuffled and dealt with a jittery energy that I thought might be partly due to his intoxication, but not completely. In a short time, he owed me a significant amount, and after taking a big gulp of port, he did exactly what I had been calmly expecting—he suggested we double our already outrageous stakes. With a fake show of hesitation, and after my repeated refusals had provoked some angry words from him that made my eventual agreement seem like a matter of pride, I finally agreed. Naturally, this only showed how completely he was caught in my trap: in less than an hour, he had quadrupled his debt. For a while, his face had been losing the rosy glow from the wine, but now, to my surprise, it had turned a truly alarming shade of pale. I say surprise because I had been told he was incredibly wealthy; the amounts he had lost, while substantial, shouldn’t have bothered him that much, let alone affected him so intensely. I initially thought he might just be overwhelmed by the wine he had just consumed, and mostly to protect my own reputation in front of my friends rather than for any other reason, I was about to insist that we stop playing when I overheard some comments from the group beside me, along with an exclamation of utter despair from Glendinning, that made it clear I had brought about his complete downfall in circumstances that should have made him an object of pity for everyone, protecting him even from the maliciousness of a fiend.

What now might have been my conduct it is difficult to say. The pitiable condition of my dupe had thrown an air of embarrassed gloom over all; and, for some moments, a profound silence was maintained, during which I could not help feeling my cheeks tingle with the many burning glances of scorn or reproach cast upon me by the less abandoned of the party. I will even own that an intolerable weight of anxiety was for a brief instant lifted from my bosom by the sudden and extraordinary interruption which ensued. The wide, heavy folding doors of the apartment were all at once thrown open, to their full extent, with a vigorous and rushing impetuosity that extinguished, as if by magic, every candle in the room. Their light, in dying, enabled us just to perceive that a stranger had entered, about my own height, and closely muffled in a cloak. The darkness, however, was now total; and we could only feel that he was standing in our midst. Before any one of us could recover from the extreme astonishment into which this rudeness had thrown all, we heard the voice of the intruder.

It’s hard to say how I might have acted. The sad situation of my victim cast a gloomy air over everything; and for a while, there was a deep silence during which I felt my cheeks burn from the disdainful or accusatory looks directed at me by the less immoral members of the group. I’ll admit that a heavy weight of anxiety was briefly lifted from my chest by the sudden and unexpected interruption that followed. The large, heavy folding doors of the room were suddenly thrown open with such force that every candle in the room was extinguished as if by magic. As the light faded, we could barely make out that a stranger had entered, around my height, and wrapped in a cloak. But the darkness was now complete, and we could only sense that he was standing among us. Before anyone could recover from the shock of this rudeness, we heard the voice of the intruder.

“Gentlemen,” he said, in a low, distinct, and never-to-be-forgotten whisper which thrilled to the very marrow of my bones, “Gentlemen, I make no apology for this behaviour, because in thus behaving, I am but fulfilling a duty. You are, beyond doubt, uninformed of the true character of the person who has to-night won at écarté a large sum of money from Lord Glendinning. I will therefore put you upon an expeditious and decisive plan of obtaining this very necessary information. Please to examine, at your leisure, the inner linings of the cuff of his left sleeve, and the several little packages which may be found in the somewhat capacious pockets of his embroidered morning wrapper.”

“Gentlemen,” he said in a low, clear, and unforgettable whisper that sent a chill through my bones, “Gentlemen, I won’t apologize for this behavior, because by acting this way, I’m simply fulfilling a duty. You are surely unaware of the true nature of the person who has tonight won a large sum of money from Lord Glendinning at écarté. So, I will suggest a quick and straightforward way to get this important information. Please take your time to examine the inner linings of the cuff of his left sleeve and the various small packages you might find in the rather roomy pockets of his fancy morning robe.”

While he spoke, so profound was the stillness that one might have heard a pin drop upon the floor. In ceasing, he departed at once, and as abruptly as he had entered. Can I—shall I describe my sensations? Must I say that I felt all the horrors of the damned? Most assuredly I had little time given for reflection. Many hands roughly seized me upon the spot, and lights were immediately reprocured. A search ensued. In the lining of my sleeve were found all the court cards essential in écarté, and, in the pockets of my wrapper, a number of packs, facsimiles of those used at our sittings, with the single exception that mine were of the species called, technically, arrondees; the honours being slightly convex at the ends, the lower cards slightly convex at the sides. In this disposition, the dupe who cuts, as customary, at the length of the pack, will invariably find that he cuts his antagonist an honor; while the gambler, cutting at the breadth, will, as certainly, cut nothing for his victim which may count in the records of the game.

While he spoke, the silence was so intense that you could almost hear a pin drop. When he finished, he left just as suddenly as he had arrived. Should I describe what I felt? Do I have to say I experienced all the terrors of the damned? Certainly, I didn't have much time to think. Many hands roughly grabbed me right there, and lights were quickly brought back. A search began. They found all the court cards needed for écarté in the lining of my sleeve, and in the pockets of my coat, there was a number of decks that looked just like those we used in our games, except mine were the type called arrondies; the honors were slightly rounded at the ends, and the lower cards were slightly rounded at the sides. In this setup, the player who cuts, as usual, at the length of the deck will always end up cutting an honor for his opponent; while the gambler, cutting at the width, will surely cut nothing of value for his victim that would count in the game's records.

Any burst of indignation upon this discovery would have affected me less than the silent contempt, or the sarcastic composure, with which it was received.

Any outburst of anger upon this discovery would have impacted me less than the quiet disdain or the sarcastic calm with which it was met.

“Mr. Wilson,” said our host, stooping to remove from beneath his feet an exceedingly luxurious cloak of rare furs, “Mr. Wilson, this is your property.” (The weather was cold; and, upon quitting my own room, I had thrown a cloak over my dressing wrapper, putting it off upon reaching the scene of play.) “I presume it is supererogatory to seek here (eyeing the folds of the garment with a bitter smile) for any farther evidence of your skill. Indeed, we have had enough. You will see the necessity, I hope, of quitting Oxford—at all events, of quitting instantly my chambers.”

“Mr. Wilson,” our host said, bending down to pick up an incredibly luxurious cloak made of rare furs from beneath his feet, “Mr. Wilson, this is yours.” (It was cold outside, so when I left my room, I had tossed a cloak over my dressing gown, taking it off when I arrived at the game.) “I suppose it’s pointless to look here” (casting a bitter smile at the folds of the cloak) “for any more evidence of your talent. Really, we’ve seen enough. I hope you understand the need to leave Oxford—at least, to leave my rooms immediately.”

Abased, humbled to the dust as I then was, it is probable that I should have resented this galling language by immediate personal violence, had not my whole attention been at the moment arrested by a fact of the most startling character. The cloak which I had worn was of a rare description of fur; how rare, how extravagantly costly, I shall not venture to say. Its fashion, too, was of my own fantastic invention; for I was fastidious to an absurd degree of coxcombry, in matters of this frivolous nature. When, therefore, Mr. Preston reached me that which he had picked up upon the floor, and near the folding doors of the apartment, it was with an astonishment nearly bordering upon terror, that I perceived my own already hanging on my arm, (where I had no doubt unwittingly placed it,) and that the one presented me was but its exact counterpart in every, in even the minutest possible particular. The singular being who had so disastrously exposed me, had been muffled, I remembered, in a cloak; and none had been worn at all by any of the members of our party with the exception of myself. Retaining some presence of mind, I took the one offered me by Preston; placed it, unnoticed, over my own; left the apartment with a resolute scowl of defiance; and, next morning ere dawn of day, commenced a hurried journey from Oxford to the continent, in a perfect agony of horror and of shame.

Humbled and feeling completely defeated, I probably would have reacted with immediate violence to that humiliating comment if I hadn’t been completely distracted by a truly shocking fact. The cloak I had been wearing was made of a rare type of fur; I can't say how rare or how ridiculously expensive. The design was also of my own eccentric creation, because I was excessively particular about my appearance in such trivial matters. So, when Mr. Preston handed me something he had picked up from the floor near the folding doors of the room, I was almost terrified to realize that it was my own cloak, which I must have accidentally placed on my arm, and that the one he gave me was its exact replica, down to the tiniest detail. I remembered that the mysterious person who had so embarrassingly exposed me had been wrapped in a cloak, and nobody else in our group had worn one except for me. Keeping my composure, I took the cloak offered by Preston, slipped it over my own without drawing attention, left the room with a determined frown of defiance, and early the next morning, before dawn, I started a frantic journey from Oxford to the continent, overwhelmed with horror and shame.

I fled in vain. My evil destiny pursued me as if in exultation, and proved, indeed, that the exercise of its mysterious dominion had as yet only begun. Scarcely had I set foot in Paris ere I had fresh evidence of the detestable interest taken by this Wilson in my concerns. Years flew, while I experienced no relief. Villain!—at Rome, with how untimely, yet with how spectral an officiousness, stepped he in between me and my ambition! At Vienna, too—at Berlin—and at Moscow! Where, in truth, had I not bitter cause to curse him within my heart? From his inscrutable tyranny did I at length flee, panic-stricken, as from a pestilence; and to the very ends of the earth I fled in vain.

I ran away for nothing. My terrible fate chased me as if it were celebrating, proving that its mysterious control had just begun. Hardly had I arrived in Paris when I got new proof of that awful Wilson meddling in my affairs. Years passed, and I found no relief. That villain!—in Rome, how annoyingly and yet how ghost-like he stepped between me and my ambitions! In Vienna, too—then Berlin—and Moscow! Honestly, where didn’t I have every reason to curse him in my heart? From his mysterious tyranny, I finally fled in a panic, just like escaping from a plague; and I ran to the ends of the earth, but it was all in vain.

And again, and again, in secret communion with my own spirit, would I demand the questions “Who is he?—whence came he?—and what are his objects?” But no answer was there found. And then I scrutinized, with a minute scrutiny, the forms, and the methods, and the leading traits of his impertinent supervision. But even here there was very little upon which to base a conjecture. It was noticeable, indeed, that, in no one of the multiplied instances in which he had of late crossed my path, had he so crossed it except to frustrate those schemes, or to disturb those actions, which, if fully carried out, might have resulted in bitter mischief. Poor justification this, in truth, for an authority so imperiously assumed! Poor indemnity for natural rights of self-agency so pertinaciously, so insultingly denied!

And again, in quiet reflection with myself, I would ask, “Who is he? Where did he come from? What does he want?” But I found no answers. So, I looked closely at his behavior, his methods, and the key characteristics of his annoying oversight. Yet, there wasn't much to help me guess at anything. It was clear that, in all the times he had recently crossed my path, he only did so to ruin my plans or disrupt my actions, which, if fully realized, could have led to real trouble. This was a poor excuse for such an aggressively assumed authority! It was a weak defense for the natural rights to self-determination that were so stubbornly and insultingly taken away!

I had also been forced to notice that my tormentor, for a very long period of time, (while scrupulously and with miraculous dexterity maintaining his whim of an identity of apparel with myself,) had so contrived it, in the execution of his varied interference with my will, that I saw not, at any moment, the features of his face. Be Wilson what he might, this, at least, was but the veriest of affectation, or of folly. Could he, for an instant, have supposed that, in my admonisher at Eton—in the destroyer of my honor at Oxford,—in him who thwarted my ambition at Rome, my revenge at Paris, my passionate love at Naples, or what he falsely termed my avarice in Egypt,—that in this, my arch-enemy and evil genius, could fail to recognise the William Wilson of my school boy days,—the namesake, the companion, the rival,—the hated and dreaded rival at Dr. Bransby’s? Impossible!—But let me hasten to the last eventful scene of the drama.

I had also been forced to notice that my tormentor, for a very long time, (while carefully and skillfully keeping up the same style of clothing as me) had managed, in the way he interfered with my wishes, to ensure that I never saw his face. No matter who Wilson really was, this was nothing more than the most ridiculous of pretenses or foolishness. Could he have really thought that I wouldn’t recognize him as the one who warned me at Eton—who ruined my reputation at Oxford—who hindered my ambitions in Rome, my revenge in Paris, my passionate love in Naples, or what he falsely called my greed in Egypt—could he think that in this, my arch-enemy and evil genius, I wouldn’t recognize the William Wilson from my school days—the namesake, the companion, the rival—my hated and feared rival at Dr. Bransby’s? Impossible!—But let me quickly move to the final, impactful scene of the drama.

Thus far I had succumbed supinely to this imperious domination. The sentiment of deep awe with which I habitually regarded the elevated character, the majestic wisdom, the apparent omnipresence and omnipotence of Wilson, added to a feeling of even terror, with which certain other traits in his nature and assumptions inspired me, had operated, hitherto, to impress me with an idea of my own utter weakness and helplessness, and to suggest an implicit, although bitterly reluctant submission to his arbitrary will. But, of late days, I had given myself up entirely to wine; and its maddening influence upon my hereditary temper rendered me more and more impatient of control. I began to murmur,—to hesitate,—to resist. And was it only fancy which induced me to believe that, with the increase of my own firmness, that of my tormentor underwent a proportional diminution? Be this as it may, I now began to feel the inspiration of a burning hope, and at length nurtured in my secret thoughts a stern and desperate resolution that I would submit no longer to be enslaved.

So far, I had passively accepted this overpowering control. The deep respect I usually felt for Wilson's impressive character, his wisdom, and his seeming all-knowing and all-powerful nature filled me with awe and a certain fear due to some of his other traits and assumptions. Until now, this all made me feel completely weak and helpless and suggested that I should reluctantly accept his arbitrary will. However, lately, I had completely given in to drinking, and its intoxicating effect on my natural temperament made me increasingly impatient with being controlled. I started to grumble, hesitate, and push back. Was it just my imagination, or did I sense that as I grew firmer, my tormentor seemed to lose some of his power? Regardless, I began to feel a surge of hopeful determination and secretly nurtured a serious and desperate resolve that I would no longer allow myself to be enslaved.

It was at Rome, during the Carnival of 18—, that I attended a masquerade in the palazzo of the Neapolitan Duke Di Broglio. I had indulged more freely than usual in the excesses of the wine-table; and now the suffocating atmosphere of the crowded rooms irritated me beyond endurance. The difficulty, too, of forcing my way through the mazes of the company contributed not a little to the ruffling of my temper; for I was anxiously seeking, (let me not say with what unworthy motive) the young, the gay, the beautiful wife of the aged and doting Di Broglio. With a too unscrupulous confidence she had previously communicated to me the secret of the costume in which she would be habited, and now, having caught a glimpse of her person, I was hurrying to make my way into her presence. At this moment I felt a light hand placed upon my shoulder, and that ever-remembered, low, damnable whisper within my ear.

It was in Rome, during the Carnival of 18—, that I attended a masquerade at the Palazzo of the Neapolitan Duke Di Broglio. I had indulged more than usual in drinking, and now the suffocating atmosphere of the crowded rooms was irritating me to no end. The challenge of pushing through the throngs of people only added to my frustration because I was eagerly trying to find the young, lively, beautiful wife of the old and doting Duke Di Broglio. With too much trust, she had previously shared the secret of the costume she would be wearing, and now, having caught a glimpse of her, I was rushing to get to her. At that moment, I felt a light hand on my shoulder, followed by that infamous, low, damnable whisper in my ear.

In an absolute phrenzy of wrath, I turned at once upon him who had thus interrupted me, and seized him violently by the collar. He was attired, as I had expected, in a costume altogether similar to my own; wearing a Spanish cloak of blue velvet, begirt about the waist with a crimson belt sustaining a rapier. A mask of black silk entirely covered his face.

In a complete frenzy of anger, I immediately turned on the person who had interrupted me and grabbed him forcefully by the collar. He was dressed, as I had expected, in an outfit that was exactly like mine; wearing a blue velvet Spanish cloak, cinched around the waist with a red belt holding a rapier. A black silk mask completely covered his face.

“Scoundrel!” I said, in a voice husky with rage, while every syllable I uttered seemed as new fuel to my fury, “scoundrel! impostor! accursed villain! you shall not—you shall not dog me unto death! Follow me, or I stab you where you stand!”—and I broke my way from the ball-room into a small ante-chamber adjoining, dragging him unresistingly with me as I went.

“Scoundrel!” I shouted, my voice thick with rage, and every word just fueled my anger more. “Scoundrel! Impostor! Accursed villain! You will not— you will not chase me to my grave! Follow me, or I'll stab you where you stand!” I forced my way out of the ballroom into a small adjoining room, dragging him along with me as I went.

Upon entering, I thrust him furiously from me. He staggered against the wall, while I closed the door with an oath, and commanded him to draw. He hesitated but for an instant; then, with a slight sigh, drew in silence, and put himself upon his defence.

Upon entering, I angrily pushed him away from me. He stumbled against the wall as I slammed the door with a curse and told him to get ready to fight. He hesitated for just a moment; then, with a small sigh, he quietly got ready and prepared to defend himself.

The contest was brief indeed. I was frantic with every species of wild excitement, and felt within my single arm the energy and power of a multitude. In a few seconds I forced him by sheer strength against the wainscoting, and thus, getting him at mercy, plunged my sword, with brute ferocity, repeatedly through and through his bosom.

The contest was really short. I was filled with all kinds of wild excitement and felt the energy and strength of a crowd in my one arm. In just a few seconds, I overpowered him against the wall, and with him at my mercy, I drove my sword, with raw intensity, repeatedly through his chest.

At that instant some person tried the latch of the door. I hastened to prevent an intrusion, and then immediately returned to my dying antagonist. But what human language can adequately portray that astonishment, that horror which possessed me at the spectacle then presented to view? The brief moment in which I averted my eyes had been sufficient to produce, apparently, a material change in the arrangements at the upper or farther end of the room. A large mirror,—so at first it seemed to me in my confusion—now stood where none had been perceptible before; and, as I stepped up to it in extremity of terror, mine own image, but with features all pale and dabbled in blood, advanced to meet me with a feeble and tottering gait.

At that moment, someone tried the door latch. I rushed to stop an intrusion and then quickly returned to my dying opponent. But what words can truly capture the astonishment and horror I felt at the scene before me? In the brief moment when I looked away, it seemed there had been a significant change at the far end of the room. A large mirror—at least that's what it looked like in my confusion—now stood where I hadn't noticed one before. As I approached it, filled with terror, my own image, pale and smeared with blood, stumbled forward to meet me.

Thus it appeared, I say, but was not. It was my antagonist—it was Wilson, who then stood before me in the agonies of his dissolution. His mask and cloak lay, where he had thrown them, upon the floor. Not a thread in all his raiment—not a line in all the marked and singular lineaments of his face which was not, even in the most absolute identity, mine own!

Thus it seemed, I say, but it wasn't. It was my opponent—it was Wilson, who then stood before me in the throes of his dying. His mask and cloak were strewn on the floor where he had tossed them. Not a thread in all his clothes—not a single feature in all the distinct and unique lines of his face that wasn’t, even in the most exact resemblance, my own!

It was Wilson; but he spoke no longer in a whisper, and I could have fancied that I myself was speaking while he said:

It was Wilson; but he no longer spoke in a whisper, and I could have imagined that I was speaking myself while he said:

“You have conquered, and I yield. Yet, henceforward art thou also dead—dead to the World, to Heaven and to Hope! In me didst thou exist—and, in my death, see by this image, which is thine own, how utterly thou hast murdered thyself.”

“You’ve won, and I accept that. But from now on, you’re also dead—dead to the world, to heaven, and to hope! I was your existence—and in my death, look at this image, which is yours, and see how completely you’ve destroyed yourself.”

THE TELL-TALE HEART.

True!—nervous—very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses—not destroyed—not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. How, then, am I mad? Hearken! and observe how healthily—how calmly I can tell you the whole story.

True! I was really, really nervous, and I still am; but why do you say I'm mad? The illness had made my senses sharper—not destroyed or dulled them. Above all, my sense of hearing was heightened. I heard everything in heaven and earth. I even heard many things in hell. So, how can you say I'm mad? Listen, and see how clearly—how calmly I can share the whole story with you.

It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain; but once conceived, it haunted me day and night. Object there was none. Passion there was none. I loved the old man. He had never wronged me. He had never given me insult. For his gold I had no desire. I think it was his eye! yes, it was this! He had the eye of a vulture—a pale blue eye, with a film over it. Whenever it fell upon me, my blood ran cold; and so by degrees—very gradually—I made up my mind to take the life of the old man, and thus rid myself of the eye forever.

It’s hard to say how the idea first popped into my head, but once I had it, it tormented me day and night. There was no reason for it. I felt no passion. I loved the old man. He had never wronged me. He had never insulted me. I had no desire for his money. I think it was his eye! Yes, that’s what it was! He had the eye of a vulture—a pale blue eye, with a film over it. Whenever it looked at me, my blood ran cold; and so slowly—very gradually—I decided to take the old man's life and free myself from that eye forever.

Now this is the point. You fancy me mad. Madmen know nothing. But you should have seen me. You should have seen how wisely I proceeded—with what caution—with what foresight—with what dissimulation I went to work! I was never kinder to the old man than during the whole week before I killed him. And every night, about midnight, I turned the latch of his door and opened it—oh, so gently! And then, when I had made an opening sufficient for my head, I put in a dark lantern, all closed, closed, that no light shone out, and then I thrust in my head. Oh, you would have laughed to see how cunningly I thrust it in! I moved it slowly—very, very slowly, so that I might not disturb the old man’s sleep. It took me an hour to place my whole head within the opening so far that I could see him as he lay upon his bed. Ha!—would a madman have been so wise as this? And then, when my head was well in the room, I undid the lantern cautiously—oh, so cautiously—cautiously (for the hinges creaked)—I undid it just so much that a single thin ray fell upon the vulture eye. And this I did for seven long nights—every night just at midnight—but I found the eye always closed; and so it was impossible to do the work; for it was not the old man who vexed me, but his Evil Eye. And every morning, when the day broke, I went boldly into the chamber, and spoke courageously to him, calling him by name in a hearty tone, and inquiring how he has passed the night. So you see he would have been a very profound old man, indeed, to suspect that every night, just at twelve, I looked in upon him while he slept.

Now this is the thing. You think I’m crazy. Crazy people don’t understand anything. But you should have seen me. You should have seen how smart I was—how careful—how prepared—and how sneaky I was! I was never nicer to the old man than in the week leading up to when I killed him. Every night, around midnight, I quietly turned the latch on his door and opened it—oh, so gently! And then, when I had made an opening just big enough for my head, I brought in a dark lantern, completely closed, so no light came out, and then I pushed in my head. Oh, you would have laughed to see how cleverly I did it! I moved it slowly—very, very slowly—so I wouldn’t disturb the old man’s sleep. It took me an hour to get my whole head inside enough that I could see him lying on his bed. Ha!—would a crazy person be so clever? And then, when my head was fully in the room, I quietly opened the lantern—oh, so quietly—quietly (because the hinges creaked)—I opened it just enough for a single thin ray to fall on the vulture eye. And I did this for seven long nights—every night right at midnight—but I found the eye always closed; so it was impossible to do the job; because it wasn’t the old man that bothered me, but his Evil Eye. And every morning, when the sun came up, I confidently walked into his room and spoke to him cheerfully, calling him by name with a friendly tone, and asking how he had slept. So you see, he would have had to be a really sharp old man to suspect that every night, right at twelve, I checked on him while he slept.

Upon the eighth night I was more than usually cautious in opening the door. A watch’s minute hand moves more quickly than did mine. Never before that night had I felt the extent of my own powers—of my sagacity. I could scarcely contain my feelings of triumph. To think that there I was, opening the door, little by little, and he not even to dream of my secret deeds or thoughts. I fairly chuckled at the idea; and perhaps he heard me; for he moved on the bed suddenly, as if startled. Now you may think that I drew back—but no. His room was as black as pitch with the thick darkness, (for the shutters were close fastened, through fear of robbers,) and so I knew that he could not see the opening of the door, and I kept pushing it on steadily, steadily.

On the eighth night, I was extra careful when opening the door. A watch's minute hand moved faster than I did. Never before that night had I realized the extent of my own abilities—of my cleverness. I could hardly contain my feelings of victory. To think that I was there, slowly opening the door, and he had no clue about my secret actions or thoughts. I almost chuckled at the thought; and maybe he heard me because he suddenly moved on the bed, as if startled. Now, you might think I pulled back—but no. His room was pitch black with thick darkness (since the shutters were tightly shut to keep out robbers), so I knew he couldn't see the door opening, and I kept pushing it open steadily, steadily.

I had my head in, and was about to open the lantern, when my thumb slipped upon the tin fastening, and the old man sprang up in bed, crying out—“Who’s there?”

I had my head in and was about to open the lantern when my thumb slipped on the tin latch, and the old man shot up in bed, yelling, “Who’s there?”

I kept quite still and said nothing. For a whole hour I did not move a muscle, and in the meantime I did not hear him lie down. He was still sitting up in the bed listening;—just as I have done, night after night, hearkening to the death watches in the wall.

I stayed completely still and said nothing. For an entire hour, I didn’t move a muscle, and during that time, I didn’t hear him lie down. He was still sitting up in bed, listening—just like I have done, night after night, straining to hear the death watches in the wall.

Presently I heard a slight groan, and I knew it was the groan of mortal terror. It was not a groan of pain or of grief—oh, no!—it was the low stifled sound that arises from the bottom of the soul when overcharged with awe. I knew the sound well. Many a night, just at midnight, when all the world slept, it has welled up from my own bosom, deepening, with its dreadful echo, the terrors that distracted me. I say I knew it well. I knew what the old man felt, and pitied him, although I chuckled at heart. I knew that he had been lying awake ever since the first slight noise, when he had turned in the bed. His fears had been ever since growing upon him. He had been trying to fancy them causeless, but could not. He had been saying to himself—“It is nothing but the wind in the chimney—it is only a mouse crossing the floor,” or “It is merely a cricket which has made a single chirp.” Yes, he had been trying to comfort himself with these suppositions: but he had found all in vain. All in vain; because Death, in approaching him had stalked with his black shadow before him, and enveloped the victim. And it was the mournful influence of the unperceived shadow that caused him to feel—although he neither saw nor heard—to feel the presence of my head within the room.

Right now, I heard a faint groan, and I knew it was the sound of pure terror. It wasn’t a groan of pain or sorrow—oh, no!—it was the quiet, strangled noise that emerges from deep within when overwhelmed by fear. I recognized that sound well. Many nights, right at midnight, when the whole world was asleep, it had risen from my own chest, intensifying, with its horrifying echo, the fears that plagued me. I say I knew it well. I understood what the old man felt and felt sorry for him, even as I secretly laughed. I knew he had been lying awake since the first faint noise when he had shifted in bed. His fears had been growing ever since. He had tried to convince himself that there was nothing to worry about, but he couldn’t. He had been telling himself—“It’s just the wind in the chimney—it’s only a mouse scurrying across the floor,” or “It’s just a cricket chirping once.” Yes, he had been trying to soothe himself with these ideas, but it had all been in vain. All in vain; because Death, as it approached him, had stalked with its dark shadow in front of him, surrounding the victim. And it was the sorrowful effect of the unseen shadow that made him feel—though he neither saw nor heard—it made him feel the presence of my head in the room.

When I had waited a long time, very patiently, without hearing him lie down, I resolved to open a little—a very, very little crevice in the lantern. So I opened it—you cannot imagine how stealthily, stealthily—until, at length a simple dim ray, like the thread of the spider, shot from out the crevice and fell full upon the vulture eye.

When I had waited a long time, very patiently, without hearing him lie down, I decided to open a small—just a tiny—crack in the lantern. So I did it—you wouldn’t believe how quietly, quietly—until finally, a faint, narrow ray, like a spider's thread, slipped through the crack and landed right on the vulture eye.

It was open—wide, wide open—and I grew furious as I gazed upon it. I saw it with perfect distinctness—all a dull blue, with a hideous veil over it that chilled the very marrow in my bones; but I could see nothing else of the old man’s face or person: for I had directed the ray as if by instinct, precisely upon the damned spot.

It was open—wide, wide open—and I felt a surge of anger as I looked at it. I saw it clearly—all a dull blue, with a creepy veil over it that chilled me to the core; but I couldn’t see anything else of the old man’s face or body: because I had instinctively aimed the light right at that cursed spot.

And have I not told you that what you mistake for madness is but over-acuteness of the sense?—now, I say, there came to my ears a low, dull, quick sound, such as a watch makes when enveloped in cotton. I knew that sound well, too. It was the beating of the old man’s heart. It increased my fury, as the beating of a drum stimulates the soldier into courage.

And haven't I told you that what you think is madness is just an extreme sensitivity of the senses?—now, I say, I heard a low, dull, quick sound, like a watch muffled in cotton. I recognized that sound too. It was the old man's heartbeat. It fueled my rage, just like the beating of a drum fires up a soldier's courage.

But even yet I refrained and kept still. I scarcely breathed. I held the lantern motionless. I tried how steadily I could maintain the ray upon the eye. Meantime the hellish tattoo of the heart increased. It grew quicker and quicker, and louder and louder every instant. The old man’s terror must have been extreme! It grew louder, I say, louder every moment!—do you mark me well? I have told you that I am nervous: so I am. And now at the dead hour of the night, amid the dreadful silence of that old house, so strange a noise as this excited me to uncontrollable terror. Yet, for some minutes longer I refrained and stood still. But the beating grew louder, louder! I thought the heart must burst. And now a new anxiety seized me—the sound would be heard by a neighbour! The old man’s hour had come! With a loud yell, I threw open the lantern and leaped into the room. He shrieked once—once only. In an instant I dragged him to the floor, and pulled the heavy bed over him. I then smiled gaily, to find the deed so far done. But, for many minutes, the heart beat on with a muffled sound. This, however, did not vex me; it would not be heard through the wall. At length it ceased. The old man was dead. I removed the bed and examined the corpse. Yes, he was stone, stone dead. I placed my hand upon the heart and held it there many minutes. There was no pulsation. He was stone dead. His eye would trouble me no more.

But even then, I stayed quiet and motionless. I barely breathed. I kept the lantern still. I focused on how steadily I could shine the light on the eye. Meanwhile, the awful pounding of my heart got louder and louder. The old man's fear must have been intense! It got louder, I tell you, louder with every passing second!—do you understand me? I've mentioned that I’m anxious: it's true. And now at this late hour of the night, in the terrifying silence of that old house, such a strange noise filled me with uncontrollable dread. Still, for a few more moments, I held my ground. But the beating grew louder, louder! I thought my heart would explode. Suddenly, a new fear hit me—the sound could be heard by a neighbor! The old man’s time had come! With a loud shout, I threw open the lantern and jumped into the room. He screamed once—just once. In an instant, I pulled him to the floor and dragged the heavy bed over him. Then, I smiled brightly, pleased to see the job done. But for many minutes, the heart continued to beat softly. This didn’t bother me; it wouldn’t be heard through the wall. Finally, it stopped. The old man was dead. I moved the bed and checked the body. Yes, he was completely, utterly dead. I placed my hand on his heart and held it there for several minutes. There was no pulse. He was completely dead. His eye would trouble me no more.

If still you think me mad, you will think so no longer when I describe the wise precautions I took for the concealment of the body. The night waned, and I worked hastily, but in silence. First of all I dismembered the corpse. I cut off the head and the arms and the legs.

If you still think I'm crazy, you won't after I explain the smart steps I took to hide the body. The night passed, and I worked quickly but quietly. First, I took apart the corpse. I removed the head, the arms, and the legs.

I then took up three planks from the flooring of the chamber, and deposited all between the scantlings. I then replaced the boards so cleverly, so cunningly, that no human eye—not even his—could have detected any thing wrong. There was nothing to wash out—no stain of any kind—no blood-spot whatever. I had been too wary for that. A tub had caught all—ha! ha!

I then lifted three floorboards from the room and stuffed everything between the joists. I put the boards back so skillfully, so cleverly, that no one could have noticed anything out of place—not even him. There was nothing to clean up—no stains at all—no trace of blood. I had been too careful for that. A tub had caught everything—ha! ha!

When I had made an end of these labors, it was four o’clock—still dark as midnight. As the bell sounded the hour, there came a knocking at the street door. I went down to open it with a light heart,—for what had I now to fear? There entered three men, who introduced themselves, with perfect suavity, as officers of the police. A shriek had been heard by a neighbour during the night; suspicion of foul play had been aroused; information had been lodged at the police office, and they (the officers) had been deputed to search the premises.

When I finished these tasks, it was four o’clock—still as dark as midnight. As the bell rang the hour, there was a knock at the front door. I went down to open it, feeling light-hearted—what did I have to fear now? Three men entered, introducing themselves smoothly as police officers. A neighbor had heard a scream during the night; there were suspicions of foul play; a report had been made at the police station, and they (the officers) had been assigned to search the place.

I smiled,—for what had I to fear? I bade the gentlemen welcome. The shriek, I said, was my own in a dream. The old man, I mentioned, was absent in the country. I took my visitors all over the house. I bade them search—search well. I led them, at length, to his chamber. I showed them his treasures, secure, undisturbed. In the enthusiasm of my confidence, I brought chairs into the room, and desired them here to rest from their fatigues, while I myself, in the wild audacity of my perfect triumph, placed my own seat upon the very spot beneath which reposed the corpse of the victim.

I smiled—what did I have to fear? I welcomed the gentlemen. I explained that the scream was just my own from a dream. I mentioned that the old man was away in the country. I took my visitors all around the house. I encouraged them to search—search thoroughly. Eventually, I led them to his room. I showed them his valuables, safe and undisturbed. Feeling overly confident, I brought chairs into the room and invited them to rest from their fatigue while I, in the reckless confidence of my complete triumph, sat down right on the spot where the body of the victim lay hidden.

The officers were satisfied. My manner had convinced them. I was singularly at ease. They sat, and while I answered cheerily, they chatted of familiar things. But, ere long, I felt myself getting pale and wished them gone. My head ached, and I fancied a ringing in my ears: but still they sat and still chatted. The ringing became more distinct:—it continued and became more distinct: I talked more freely to get rid of the feeling: but it continued and gained definiteness—until, at length, I found that the noise was not within my ears.

The officers were satisfied. My demeanor had convinced them. I felt unusually calm. They sat there, and while I answered cheerfully, they talked about familiar things. But soon, I noticed myself getting pale and wanted them to leave. My head throbbed, and I thought I heard a ringing in my ears; yet they stayed and kept chatting. The ringing became clearer—it went on and grew more distinct: I spoke more openly to shake off the feeling, but it persisted and became more pronounced—until finally, I realized the noise wasn’t just in my ears.

No doubt I now grew very pale;—but I talked more fluently, and with a heightened voice. Yet the sound increased—and what could I do? It was a low, dull, quick sound—much such a sound as a watch makes when enveloped in cotton. I gasped for breath—and yet the officers heard it not. I talked more quickly—more vehemently; but the noise steadily increased. I arose and argued about trifles, in a high key and with violent gesticulations; but the noise steadily increased. Why would they not be gone? I paced the floor to and fro with heavy strides, as if excited to fury by the observations of the men—but the noise steadily increased. Oh God! what could I do? I foamed—I raved—I swore! I swung the chair upon which I had been sitting, and grated it upon the boards, but the noise arose over all and continually increased. It grew louder—louder—louder! And still the men chatted pleasantly, and smiled. Was it possible they heard not? Almighty God!—no, no! They heard!—they suspected!—they knew!—they were making a mockery of my horror!—this I thought, and this I think. But anything was better than this agony! Anything was more tolerable than this derision! I could bear those hypocritical smiles no longer! I felt that I must scream or die! and now—again!—hark! louder! louder! louder! louder!

I definitely grew very pale;—but I spoke more fluently, and with a louder voice. Yet the sound kept getting louder—and what could I do? It was a low, dull, quick noise—similar to what a watch sounds like when wrapped in cotton. I gasped for breath—but the officers didn’t hear it. I talked faster—more passionately; but the noise kept rising. I stood up and argued about trivial things, in a high-pitched voice and with wild gestures; but the noise steadily increased. Why wouldn’t they leave? I paced back and forth with heavy steps, as if driven to madness by the men’s comments—but the noise kept increasing. Oh God! What could I do? I raged—I yelled—I cursed! I picked up the chair I had been sitting on and dragged it across the floor, but the noise rose above everything and only got louder. It grew louder—louder—louder! And the men kept chatting cheerfully and smiling. Could it be they didn’t hear? Almighty God!—no, no! They heard!—they suspected!—they knew!—they were mocking my terror!—that’s what I thought then, and that’s what I think now. But anything was better than this torment! Anything was more bearable than this mockery! I couldn’t stand those hypocritical smiles any longer! I felt like I had to scream or die! And now—again!—listen! louder! louder! louder! louder!

“Villains!” I shrieked, “dissemble no more! I admit the deed!—tear up the planks!—here, here!—It is the beating of his hideous heart!”

“Villains!” I screamed, “stop pretending! I confess to the act!—rip up the floorboards!—right here, right here!—It’s the sound of his horrible heart!”

BERENICE

Dicebant mihi sodales, si sepulchrum amicae visitarem, curas meas aliquar tulum fore levatas.—Ebn Zaiat.

Dicebant mihi sodales, si sepulchrum amicae visitarem, curas meas aliquar tulum fore levatas.—Ebn Zaiat.

Misery is manifold. The wretchedness of earth is multiform. Overreaching the wide horizon as the rainbow, its hues are as various as the hues of that arch—as distinct too, yet as intimately blended. Overreaching the wide horizon as the rainbow! How is it that from beauty I have derived a type of unloveliness?—from the covenant of peace, a simile of sorrow? But as, in ethics, evil is a consequence of good, so, in fact, out of joy is sorrow born. Either the memory of past bliss is the anguish of to-day, or the agonies which are, have their origin in the ecstasies which might have been.

Misery comes in many forms. The suffering in the world is diverse. Stretching over the wide horizon like a rainbow, its colors are as varied as those of the arch—distinct yet closely intertwined. Stretching over the wide horizon like a rainbow! How is it that from beauty I have found a representation of ugliness?—from the promise of peace, a comparison of sorrow? But just as, in ethics, evil stems from good, in reality, joy gives birth to sorrow. Either the memory of past happiness causes today's pain, or the suffering that exists has its roots in the joys that could have been.

My baptismal name is Egaeus; that of my family I will not mention. Yet there are no towers in the land more time-honored than my gloomy, gray, hereditary halls. Our line has been called a race of visionaries; and in many striking particulars—in the character of the family mansion—in the frescos of the chief saloon—in the tapestries of the dormitories—in the chiselling of some buttresses in the armory—but more especially in the gallery of antique paintings—in the fashion of the library chamber—and, lastly, in the very peculiar nature of the library’s contents—there is more than sufficient evidence to warrant the belief.

My baptismal name is Egaeus; I won’t disclose my family name. However, there are no towers in the land more ancient than my dark, gray family mansion. Our lineage has been described as a race of visionaries, and in many notable ways—in the character of the family home—in the frescoes of the main hall—in the tapestries of the bedrooms—in the carvings of some buttresses in the armory—but especially in the gallery of old paintings—in the style of the library—and finally, in the very unique nature of the library’s contents—there is more than enough evidence to support that belief.

The recollections of my earliest years are connected with that chamber, and with its volumes—of which latter I will say no more. Here died my mother. Herein was I born. But it is mere idleness to say that I had not lived before—that the soul has no previous existence. You deny it?—let us not argue the matter. Convinced myself, I seek not to convince. There is, however, a remembrance of aerial forms—of spiritual and meaning eyes—of sounds, musical yet sad—a remembrance which will not be excluded; a memory like a shadow—vague, variable, indefinite, unsteady; and like a shadow, too, in the impossibility of my getting rid of it while the sunlight of my reason shall exist.

My earliest memories are tied to that room and its books—I'll say no more about those. My mother died here. I was born here. But it’s pointless to claim I hadn’t lived before—that the soul doesn’t exist prior to birth. You disagree?—let’s not debate it. I believe what I believe and don’t need to convince anyone else. Still, there’s a memory of ethereal shapes—of spiritual eyes that seem to have meaning—of sounds that are both beautiful and melancholic; a memory that I can’t shake; a memory like a shadow—faint, ever-changing, unclear, and unstable; and like a shadow, too, I can’t get rid of it as long as my reasoning exists.

In that chamber was I born. Thus awaking from the long night of what seemed, but was not, nonentity, at once into the very regions of fairy land—into a palace of imagination—into the wild dominions of monastic thought and erudition—it is not singular that I gazed around me with a startled and ardent eye—that I loitered away my boyhood in books, and dissipated my youth in reverie; but it is singular that as years rolled away, and the noon of manhood found me still in the mansion of my fathers—it is wonderful what stagnation there fell upon the springs of my life—wonderful how total an inversion took place in the character of my commonest thought. The realities of the world affected me as visions, and as visions only, while the wild ideas of the land of dreams became, in turn, not the material of my every-day existence, but in very deed that existence utterly and solely in itself.

In that room, I was born. Waking up from a long night that felt like nothingness, I suddenly found myself in a world of fantasy—inside a palace of imagination—into the wild realms of deep thought and knowledge. It’s not surprising that I looked around with a shocked and eager gaze, that I spent my childhood lost in books, and wasted my youth daydreaming. But it is surprising that as the years passed and I reached adulthood still living in my parents' home, an incredible stagnation took hold of my life. It’s remarkable how completely my usual thoughts flipped. The realities of the world felt like mere illusions, while the wild ideas from my imagination became not just a part of my daily life but my entire existence.


Berenice and I were cousins, and we grew up together in my paternal halls. Yet differently we grew—I, ill of health, and buried in gloom—she, agile, graceful, and overflowing with energy; hers, the ramble on the hill-side—mine the studies of the cloister; I, living within my own heart, and addicted, body and soul, to the most intense and painful meditation—she, roaming carelessly through life, with no thought of the shadows in her path, or the silent flight of the raven-winged hours. Berenice!—I call upon her name—Berenice!—and from the gray ruins of memory a thousand tumultuous recollections are startled at the sound! Ah, vividly is her image before me now, as in the early days of her light-heartedness and joy! Oh, gorgeous yet fantastic beauty! Oh, sylph amid the shrubberies of Arnheim! Oh, Naiad among its fountains! And then—then all is mystery and terror, and a tale which should not be told. Disease—a fatal disease, fell like the simoon upon her frame; and, even while I gazed upon her, the spirit of change swept over her, pervading her mind, her habits, and her character, and, in a manner the most subtle and terrible, disturbing even the identity of her person! Alas! the destroyer came and went!—and the victim—where is she? I knew her not—or knew her no longer as Berenice.

Berenice and I were cousins, and we grew up together in my father’s house. But we grew up differently—I, sickly and lost in sadness—she, lively, graceful, and full of energy; hers was the adventure on the hillside—mine the study of books; I, living in my own thoughts, and completely absorbed, both body and soul, in the most intense and painful reflection—she, wandering carelessly through life, without a care for the shadows in her path or the silent passage of time. Berenice!—I call her name—Berenice!—and from the gray ruins of memory, a thousand tumultuous memories are stirred by the sound! Ah, her image is vividly before me now, just like in the early days of her carefree happiness! Oh, stunning yet surreal beauty! Oh, fairy among the bushes of Arnheim! Oh, water nymph among its fountains! And then—then everything turns into mystery and horror, a story that shouldn’t be told. A fatal illness struck her like a fierce desert wind; and even while I looked at her, the spirit of change passed over her, affecting her mind, her habits, and her character, and, in a subtle yet terrible way, disturbing even her very identity! Alas! the destroyer came and went!—and the victim—where is she? I did not recognize her—or I no longer knew her as Berenice.

Among the numerous train of maladies superinduced by that fatal and primary one which effected a revolution of so horrible a kind in the moral and physical being of my cousin, may be mentioned as the most distressing and obstinate in its nature, a species of epilepsy not unfrequently terminating in trance itself—trance very nearly resembling positive dissolution, and from which her manner of recovery was in most instances, startlingly abrupt. In the mean time my own disease—for I have been told that I should call it by no other appellation—my own disease, then, grew rapidly upon me, and assumed finally a monomaniac character of a novel and extraordinary form—hourly and momently gaining vigor—and at length obtaining over me the most incomprehensible ascendancy. This monomania, if I must so term it, consisted in a morbid irritability of those properties of the mind in metaphysical science termed the attentive. It is more than probable that I am not understood; but I fear, indeed, that it is in no manner possible to convey to the mind of the merely general reader, an adequate idea of that nervous intensity of interest with which, in my case, the powers of meditation (not to speak technically) busied and buried themselves, in the contemplation of even the most ordinary objects of the universe.

Among the many disorders caused by that fatal and primary one which brought about such a horrific revolution in the moral and physical state of my cousin, the most distressing and stubborn is a type of epilepsy that often ends in a trance—a trance that closely resembles complete unconsciousness, from which her recovery was usually shockingly abrupt. Meanwhile, my own illness—for I've been told I should refer to it as nothing else—my own illness grew rapidly worse, taking on a singular form of obsession that became more vigorous by the hour and ultimately gained an overwhelming hold over me. This obsession, if I must call it that, was characterized by an unhealthy sensitivity of what metaphysical science refers to as the attentive aspects of the mind. It's quite possible that I'm not making myself clear; however, I truly fear that it is impossible to convey to the average reader an adequate sense of the intense interest with which, in my case, the powers of reflection (to avoid technical terms) immersed and consumed themselves in the consideration of even the most mundane aspects of the universe.

To muse for long unwearied hours, with my attention riveted to some frivolous device on the margin, or in the typography of a book; to become absorbed, for the better part of a summer’s day, in a quaint shadow falling aslant upon the tapestry or upon the floor; to lose myself, for an entire night, in watching the steady flame of a lamp, or the embers of a fire; to dream away whole days over the perfume of a flower; to repeat, monotonously, some common word, until the sound, by dint of frequent repetition, ceased to convey any idea whatever to the mind; to lose all sense of motion or physical existence, by means of absolute bodily quiescence long and obstinately persevered in: such were a few of the most common and least pernicious vagaries induced by a condition of the mental faculties, not, indeed, altogether unparalleled, but certainly bidding defiance to anything like analysis or explanation.

To daydream for hours on end, fixated on some trivial design in the margins or the layout of a book; to get completely lost for most of a summer day in a quirky shadow falling across a tapestry or the floor; to immerse myself for an entire night in watching the steady glow of a lamp or the dying embers of a fire; to spend whole days lost in the scent of a flower; to mindlessly repeat some ordinary word until it loses all meaning; to lose all sense of movement or physical existence through prolonged and stubborn stillness: these were just a few of the most typical and least harmful oddities brought on by a state of the mind that, while not entirely unique, certainly resisted any attempt at analysis or explanation.

Yet let me not be misapprehended. The undue, earnest, and morbid attention thus excited by objects in their own nature frivolous, must not be confounded in character with that ruminating propensity common to all mankind, and more especially indulged in by persons of ardent imagination. It was not even, as might be at first supposed, an extreme condition, or exaggeration of such propensity, but primarily and essentially distinct and different. In the one instance, the dreamer, or enthusiast, being interested by an object usually not frivolous, imperceptibly loses sight of this object in a wilderness of deductions and suggestions issuing therefrom, until, at the conclusion of a day-dream often replete with luxury, he finds the incitamentum, or first cause of his musings, entirely vanished and forgotten. In my case, the primary object was invariably frivolous, although assuming, through the medium of my distempered vision, a refracted and unreal importance. Few deductions, if any, were made; and those few pertinaciously returning in upon the original object as a centre. The meditations were never pleasurable; and, at the termination of the reverie, the first cause, so far from being out of sight, had attained that supernaturally exaggerated interest which was the prevailing feature of the disease. In a word, the powers of mind more particularly exercised were, with me, as I have said before, the attentive, and are, with the day-dreamer, the speculative.

Yet I don't want to be misunderstood. The intense, serious, and unhealthy focus generated by things that are actually trivial shouldn't be confused with the tendency to ponder that is common to everyone, especially among those with vivid imaginations. It wasn't even, as one might initially think, an extreme version or exaggeration of that tendency, but fundamentally distinct and different. In one case, the dreamer or enthusiast becomes engrossed in something that is usually not trivial, gradually losing sight of that object in a maze of thoughts and ideas that stem from it, until, at the end of a daydream often filled with pleasure, he discovers that the original inspiration, or starting point of his thoughts, has completely disappeared and been forgotten. In my situation, the main focus was always trivial, even though, through the lens of my distorted perception, it took on a warped and unreal significance. There were few, if any, conclusions drawn; and those few stubbornly circled back to the original object as a center. My reflections were never enjoyable; and by the end of the reverie, the original spark, far from being out of sight, had gained that unnaturally heightened interest which was the defining feature of the affliction. In short, the mental faculties I exercised were, as I've mentioned before, the attentive, while the daydreamer relies on the speculative.

My books, at this epoch, if they did not actually serve to irritate the disorder, partook, it will be perceived, largely, in their imaginative and inconsequential nature, of the characteristic qualities of the disorder itself. I well remember, among others, the treatise of the noble Italian, Coelius Secundus Curio, “De Amplitudine Beati Regni Dei;” St. Austin’s great work, the “City of God;” and Tertullian’s “De Carne Christi,” in which the paradoxical sentence “Mortuus est Dei filius; credible est quia ineptum est: et sepultus resurrexit; certum est quia impossibile est,” occupied my undivided time, for many weeks of laborious and fruitless investigation.

My books, at this time, if they didn’t actually make the chaos worse, definitely shared a lot of the imaginative and pointless qualities of the chaos itself. I clearly remember, among others, the treatise by the noble Italian, Coelius Secundus Curio, “De Amplitudine Beati Regni Dei;” St. Augustine’s major work, the “City of God;” and Tertullian’s “De Carne Christi,” in which the paradoxical statement “Mortuus est Dei filius; credible est quia ineptum est: et sepultus resurrexit; certum est quia impossibile est,” occupied my full attention for many weeks of hard and unproductive research.

Thus it will appear that, shaken from its balance only by trivial things, my reason bore resemblance to that ocean-crag spoken of by Ptolemy Hephestion, which steadily resisting the attacks of human violence, and the fiercer fury of the waters and the winds, trembled only to the touch of the flower called Asphodel. And although, to a careless thinker, it might appear a matter beyond doubt, that the alteration produced by her unhappy malady, in the moral condition of Berenice, would afford me many objects for the exercise of that intense and abnormal meditation whose nature I have been at some trouble in explaining, yet such was not in any degree the case. In the lucid intervals of my infirmity, her calamity, indeed, gave me pain, and, taking deeply to heart that total wreck of her fair and gentle life, I did not fail to ponder, frequently and bitterly, upon the wonder-working means by which so strange a revolution had been so suddenly brought to pass. But these reflections partook not of the idiosyncrasy of my disease, and were such as would have occurred, under similar circumstances, to the ordinary mass of mankind. True to its own character, my disorder revelled in the less important but more startling changes wrought in the physical frame of Berenice—in the singular and most appalling distortion of her personal identity.

So it will seem that, only shaken out of balance by trivial things, my reason resembled that ocean cliff mentioned by Ptolemy Hephestion, which steadily resists the attacks of human violence and the fiercer rage of the waters and the winds, trembling only at the touch of the flower called Asphodel. And although a careless thinker might see it as obvious that the change brought on by her unfortunate illness in the moral state of Berenice would give me plenty of subjects for the intense and unusual meditation I've taken some time to explain, that was not the case at all. In the clear moments of my illness, her suffering did cause me pain, and I was deeply affected by the total destruction of her beautiful and gentle life. I often pondered bitterly on the miraculous ways that led to such a strange and sudden transformation. However, these reflections were not specific to my condition; they were thoughts that would have occurred to ordinary people in similar circumstances. True to its nature, my disorder focused on the less significant yet more shocking changes in Berenice’s physical appearance—in the unique and most horrifying distortion of her personal identity.

During the brightest days of her unparalleled beauty, most surely I had never loved her. In the strange anomaly of my existence, feelings with me, had never been of the heart, and my passions always were of the mind. Through the gray of the early morning—among the trellised shadows of the forest at noonday—and in the silence of my library at night—she had flitted by my eyes, and I had seen her—not as the living and breathing Berenice, but as the Berenice of a dream; not as a being of the earth, earthy, but as the abstraction of such a being; not as a thing to admire, but to analyze; not as an object of love, but as the theme of the most abstruse although desultory speculation. And now—now I shuddered in her presence, and grew pale at her approach; yet, bitterly lamenting her fallen and desolate condition, I called to mind that she had loved me long, and, in an evil moment, I spoke to her of marriage.

During the brightest days of her unmatched beauty, I definitely hadn’t loved her. In the oddity of my life, feelings for me had never been from the heart, and my passions were always from the mind. Through the gray of early morning—among the dappled shadows of the forest at noon—and in the quiet of my library at night—she had passed before my eyes, and I had seen her—not as the living, breathing Berenice, but as the Berenice of a dream; not as a being of the earth, but as the idea of such a being; not as someone to admire, but as something to analyze; not as an object of love, but as the subject of the most complex, yet scattered speculations. And now—I trembled in her presence and turned pale at her approach; yet, deeply regretting her fallen and lonely state, I recalled that she had loved me for a long time, and in a moment of poor judgment, I mentioned marriage to her.

And at length the period of our nuptials was approaching, when, upon an afternoon in the winter of the year—one of those unseasonably warm, calm, and misty days which are the nurse of the beautiful Halcyon (*1),—I sat, (and sat, as I thought, alone,) in the inner apartment of the library. But, uplifting my eyes, I saw that Berenice stood before me.

And finally, the time for our wedding was coming up. One afternoon in the winter—one of those unusually warm, calm, and misty days that are a sign of the beautiful Halcyon (*1)—I was sitting in the inner room of the library, thinking I was alone. But when I looked up, I saw that Berenice was standing in front of me.

Was it my own excited imagination—or the misty influence of the atmosphere—or the uncertain twilight of the chamber—or the gray draperies which fell around her figure—that caused in it so vacillating and indistinct an outline? I could not tell. She spoke no word; and I—not for worlds could I have uttered a syllable. An icy chill ran through my frame; a sense of insufferable anxiety oppressed me; a consuming curiosity pervaded my soul; and sinking back upon the chair, I remained for some time breathless and motionless, with my eyes riveted upon her person. Alas! its emaciation was excessive, and not one vestige of the former being lurked in any single line of the contour. My burning glances at length fell upon the face.

Was it my own excited imagination—or the hazy atmosphere—or the dim light in the room—or the gray curtains around her figure—that created such a wavering and unclear outline? I couldn't tell. She said nothing; and I—there was no way I could utter a single word. A freezing chill ran through me; an unbearable anxiety weighed me down; a deep curiosity filled my soul; and collapsing back into the chair, I stayed there for a while, breathless and still, with my eyes fixed on her. Unfortunately, her frailness was extreme, and there wasn't a trace of her former self left in any line of her shape. My intense gaze finally landed on her face.

The forehead was high, and very pale, and singularly placid; and the once jetty hair fell partially over it, and overshadowed the hollow temples with innumerable ringlets, now of a vivid yellow, and jarring discordantly, in their fantastic character, with the reigning melancholy of the countenance. The eyes were lifeless, and lustreless, and seemingly pupilless, and I shrank involuntarily from their glassy stare to the contemplation of the thin and shrunken lips. They parted; and in a smile of peculiar meaning, the teeth of the changed Berenice disclosed themselves slowly to my view. Would to God that I had never beheld them, or that, having done so, I had died!

The forehead was high and very pale, and had an oddly calm look; the once jet-black hair partially fell over it, casting shadows on the hollow temples with countless ringlets, now a bright yellow, which clashed in a strange way with the overwhelming sadness of the face. The eyes were dull, lifeless, and seemingly without pupils, and I instinctively recoiled from their glassy gaze to focus on the thin, shrunken lips. They parted, and in a smile that held a strange meaning, the teeth of the changed Berenice slowly became visible to me. I wish I had never seen them, or that, having seen them, I had died!


The shutting of a door disturbed me, and, looking up, I found that my cousin had departed from the chamber. But from the disordered chamber of my brain, had not, alas! departed, and would not be driven away, the white and ghastly spectrum of the teeth. Not a speck on their surface—not a shade on their enamel—not an indenture in their edges—but what that period of her smile had sufficed to brand in upon my memory. I saw them now even more unequivocally than I beheld them then. The teeth!—the teeth!—they were here, and there, and everywhere, and visibly and palpably before me; long, narrow, and excessively white, with the pale lips writhing about them, as in the very moment of their first terrible development. Then came the full fury of my monomania, and I struggled in vain against its strange and irresistible influence. In the multiplied objects of the external world I had no thoughts but for the teeth. For these I longed with a phrenzied desire. All other matters and all different interests became absorbed in their single contemplation. They—they alone were present to the mental eye, and they, in their sole individuality, became the essence of my mental life. I held them in every light. I turned them in every attitude. I surveyed their characteristics. I dwelt upon their peculiarities. I pondered upon their conformation. I mused upon the alteration in their nature. I shuddered as I assigned to them in imagination a sensitive and sentient power, and even when unassisted by the lips, a capability of moral expression. Of Mademoiselle Salle it has been well said, “Que tous ses pas etaient des sentiments,” and of Berenice I more seriously believed que toutes ses dents etaient des idées. Des idées!—ah here was the idiotic thought that destroyed me! Des idées!—ah, therefore it was that I coveted them so madly! I felt that their possession could alone ever restore me to peace, in giving me back to reason.

The sound of a door closing disturbed me, and when I looked up, I noticed that my cousin had left the room. But from the chaotic state of my mind, the white and eerie image of her teeth had not, unfortunately, left and wouldn't be driven away. Not a mark on their surface—not a shade on their enamel—not a dent in their edges—nothing was missed that her smile had imprinted in my memory. I could see them now even more clearly than I had then. The teeth!—the teeth!—they were everywhere, visibly and palpably right in front of me; long, narrow, and incredibly white, with the pale lips twisting around them, just like in the moment of their first horrifying appearance. Then came the full force of my obsession, and I struggled in vain against its strange and overpowering influence. In the many objects of the outside world, I had no thoughts but for the teeth. I craved them with a frenzied desire. Everything else faded away, lost in their singular focus. They—they alone occupied my mind, and they, in their unique individuality, became the core of my mental existence. I viewed them from every angle. I examined their features. I focused on their distinct qualities. I reflected on their form. I contemplated the change in their nature. I shuddered as I imagined them possessing sensitive and sentient power, and even, when not aided by the lips, a capacity for moral expression. Of Mademoiselle Salle, it has been aptly said, “Que tous ses pas etaient des sentiments,” and of Berenice, I more seriously believed que toutes ses dents etaient des idées. Des idées!—ah, here was the foolish thought that drove me to ruin! Des idées!—ah, therefore it was that I wanted them so desperately! I felt that having them could alone restore my peace, bringing me back to reason.

And the evening closed in upon me thus—and then the darkness came, and tarried, and went—and the day again dawned—and the mists of a second night were now gathering around—and still I sat motionless in that solitary room—and still I sat buried in meditation—and still the phantasma of the teeth maintained its terrible ascendancy, as, with the most vivid hideous distinctness, it floated about amid the changing lights and shadows of the chamber. At length there broke in upon my dreams a cry as of horror and dismay; and thereunto, after a pause, succeeded the sound of troubled voices, intermingled with many low moanings of sorrow or of pain. I arose from my seat, and throwing open one of the doors of the library, saw standing out in the ante-chamber a servant maiden, all in tears, who told me that Berenice was—no more! She had been seized with epilepsy in the early morning, and now, at the closing in of the night, the grave was ready for its tenant, and all the preparations for the burial were completed.

And the evening closed in on me like this—and then the darkness came, lingered, and went—and the day dawned again—and the mists of a second night began to gather around—and still I sat motionless in that lonely room—and still I sat lost in thought—and still the phantasma of the teeth held its terrifying dominance, vividly floating in the changing lights and shadows of the room. Finally, a cry of horror and despair broke into my dreams; and after a moment, it was followed by the sounds of troubled voices, mixed with many low moans of sorrow or pain. I got up from my seat, and when I opened one of the library doors, I saw a servant girl standing in the antechamber, all in tears. She told me that Berenice was—gone! She had suffered an epileptic seizure in the early morning, and now, as night fell, the grave was ready for its occupant, and all the burial preparations were complete.


I found myself sitting in the library, and again sitting there alone. It seemed that I had newly awakened from a confused and exciting dream. I knew that it was now midnight, and I was well aware, that since the setting of the sun, Berenice had been interred. But of that dreary period which intervened I had no positive, at least no definite comprehension. Yet its memory was replete with horror—horror more horrible from being vague, and terror more terrible from ambiguity. It was a fearful page in the record my existence, written all over with dim, and hideous, and unintelligible recollections. I strived to decypher them, but in vain; while ever and anon, like the spirit of a departed sound, the shrill and piercing shriek of a female voice seemed to be ringing in my ears. I had done a deed—what was it? I asked myself the question aloud, and the whispering echoes of the chamber answered me,—“What was it?

I found myself sitting in the library, alone once again. It felt like I had just woken up from a confusing and thrilling dream. I knew it was midnight, and I was fully aware that since sunset, Berenice had been buried. But I had no clear understanding of that grim time in between. Yet its memory was filled with horror—horror that was even worse because it was unclear, and fear that was more intense due to its ambiguity. It was a terrifying chapter in the story of my life, covered in vague, hideous, and incomprehensible memories. I tried to make sense of them, but I couldn’t; and every now and then, like the ghost of a lost sound, a sharp and piercing scream from a woman seemed to echo in my ears. I had done something—what was it? I asked myself this question out loud, and the whispering echoes of the room replied to me, “What was it?

On the table beside me burned a lamp, and near it lay a little box. It was of no remarkable character, and I had seen it frequently before, for it was the property of the family physician; but how came it there, upon my table, and why did I shudder in regarding it? These things were in no manner to be accounted for, and my eyes at length dropped to the open pages of a book, and to a sentence underscored therein. The words were the singular but simple ones of the poet Ebn Zaiat:—“Dicebant mihi sodales si sepulchrum amicae visitarem, curas meas aliquantulum fore levatas.” Why then, as I perused them, did the hairs of my head erect themselves on end, and the blood of my body become congealed within my veins?

On the table next to me, a lamp was burning, and beside it was a small box. It wasn't anything special, and I'd seen it many times before since it belonged to the family doctor; but how did it end up here, on my table, and why did I feel a chill looking at it? These questions couldn’t be explained, and eventually my gaze fell to the open pages of a book and to a sentence I had underlined. The words were the unique yet simple ones of the poet Ebn Zaiat:—“Dicebant mihi sodales si sepulchrum amicae visitarem, curas meas aliquantulum fore levatas.” So why, as I read them, did the hairs on my neck stand up and the blood in my veins feel like it was freezing?

There came a light tap at the library door—and, pale as the tenant of a tomb, a menial entered upon tiptoe. His looks were wild with terror, and he spoke to me in a voice tremulous, husky, and very low. What said he?—some broken sentences I heard. He told of a wild cry disturbing the silence of the night—of the gathering together of the household—of a search in the direction of the sound; and then his tones grew thrillingly distinct as he whispered me of a violated grave—of a disfigured body enshrouded, yet still breathing—still palpitating—still alive!

A light tap came at the library door—and, pale like a ghost, a servant entered quietly. He looked terrified and spoke to me in a voice that was shaking, hoarse, and very soft. What did he say?—I caught some broken phrases. He talked about a loud cry breaking the night’s silence—of everyone in the house gathering together—of a search heading towards the sound; then his voice became vividly clear as he whispered about a disturbed grave—about a mangled body wrapped up, yet still breathing—still pulsing—still alive!

He pointed to garments;—they were muddy and clotted with gore. I spoke not, and he took me gently by the hand: it was indented with the impress of human nails. He directed my attention to some object against the wall. I looked at it for some minutes: it was a spade. With a shriek I bounded to the table, and grasped the box that lay upon it. But I could not force it open; and in my tremor, it slipped from my hands, and fell heavily, and burst into pieces; and from it, with a rattling sound, there rolled out some instruments of dental surgery, intermingled with thirty-two small, white and ivory-looking substances that were scattered to and fro about the floor.

He pointed to some clothes; they were dirty and covered in blood. I didn't say anything, and he took my hand gently: it was marked with the impressions of human nails. He pointed my attention to something on the wall. I stared at it for a few minutes: it was a spade. With a scream, I jumped to the table and grabbed the box that was on it. But I couldn't get it open; in my panic, it slipped from my hands, fell heavily, and shattered; and from it, with a rattling sound, rolled out some dental tools, mixed with thirty-two small, white, ivory-like items that scattered across the floor.

ELEONORA

Sub conservatione formæ specificæ salva anima.
                    —Raymond Lully.

Sub conservatione formæ specificæ salva anima.
                    —Raymond Lully.

I am come of a race noted for vigor of fancy and ardor of passion. Men have called me mad; but the question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence—whether much that is glorious—whether all that is profound—does not spring from disease of thought—from moods of mind exalted at the expense of the general intellect. They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. In their gray visions they obtain glimpses of eternity, and thrill, in awakening, to find that they have been upon the verge of the great secret. In snatches, they learn something of the wisdom which is of good, and more of the mere knowledge which is of evil. They penetrate, however, rudderless or compassless into the vast ocean of the “light ineffable,” and again, like the adventures of the Nubian geographer, “agressi sunt mare tenebrarum, quid in eo esset exploraturi.”

I come from a lineage known for its vibrant imagination and passionate spirit. People have called me crazy, but the real question is still open: Is madness actually a higher form of intelligence? Does a lot of what we consider amazing—or even all that is deep—come from a twisted way of thinking, from states of mind elevated at the expense of normal reasoning? Those who dream during the day are aware of many things that slip by those who only dream at night. In their hazy visions, they catch glimpses of eternity and feel a thrill upon waking, discovering they've been close to uncovering a great secret. They learn snippets of wisdom that are beneficial and even more about knowledge that is harmful. They dive into the endless sea of “ineffable light” without a guide or direction, much like the adventures of the Nubian geographer, “agressi sunt mare tenebrarum, quid in eo esset exploraturi.”

We will say, then, that I am mad. I grant, at least, that there are two distinct conditions of my mental existence—the condition of a lucid reason, not to be disputed, and belonging to the memory of events forming the first epoch of my life—and a condition of shadow and doubt, appertaining to the present, and to the recollection of what constitutes the second great era of my being. Therefore, what I shall tell of the earlier period, believe; and to what I may relate of the later time, give only such credit as may seem due, or doubt it altogether, or, if doubt it ye cannot, then play unto its riddle the Oedipus.

So, let’s just say I’m crazy. I admit, at least, that there are two separate states of my mind—the state of clear reason, which can’t be argued against, and comes from my memories of the first part of my life—and a state of confusion and uncertainty, related to the present, and to what I remember as the second major phase of my existence. So, believe what I share about the earlier period, and for what I might say about the later time, only believe as much as seems reasonable, or doubt it entirely, or if you can’t doubt it, then try to solve its mystery like Oedipus.

She whom I loved in youth, and of whom I now pen calmly and distinctly these remembrances, was the sole daughter of the only sister of my mother long departed. Eleonora was the name of my cousin. We had always dwelled together, beneath a tropical sun, in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass. No unguided footstep ever came upon that vale; for it lay away up among a range of giant hills that hung beetling around about it, shutting out the sunlight from its sweetest recesses. No path was trodden in its vicinity; and, to reach our happy home, there was need of putting back, with force, the foliage of many thousands of forest trees, and of crushing to death the glories of many millions of fragrant flowers. Thus it was that we lived all alone, knowing nothing of the world without the valley—I, and my cousin, and her mother.

The girl I loved in my youth, and about whom I now write calmly and clearly, was the only daughter of my mother's only sister, who has long passed away. Eleonora was my cousin's name. We always lived together, under a tropical sun, in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass. No stray footsteps ever entered that valley because it was tucked away among a range of towering hills that loomed around it, blocking sunlight from its sweetest spots. No paths were worn nearby, and to reach our happy home, we had to push aside, with force, the foliage of countless forest trees and crush the beauty of millions of fragrant flowers. That’s how we lived, all alone, knowing nothing of the world beyond the valley—I, my cousin, and her mother.

From the dim regions beyond the mountains at the upper end of our encircled domain, there crept out a narrow and deep river, brighter than all save the eyes of Eleonora; and, winding stealthily about in mazy courses, it passed away, at length, through a shadowy gorge, among hills still dimmer than those whence it had issued. We called it the “River of Silence”; for there seemed to be a hushing influence in its flow. No murmur arose from its bed, and so gently it wandered along, that the pearly pebbles upon which we loved to gaze, far down within its bosom, stirred not at all, but lay in a motionless content, each in its own old station, shining on gloriously forever.

From the dim areas beyond the mountains at the far end of our enclosed territory, a narrow and deep river emerged, brighter than anything except for Eleonora's eyes; it wound its way through intricate curves and finally slipped away through a shadowy gorge among hills that were even dimmer than where it had come from. We called it the “River of Silence” because there was a calming influence in its flow. No sound came from its bed, and it moved so gently that the pearly pebbles we loved to gaze at, deep within its waters, remained completely still, settled contentedly in their usual spots, shining gloriously forever.

The margin of the river, and of the many dazzling rivulets that glided through devious ways into its channel, as well as the spaces that extended from the margins away down into the depths of the streams until they reached the bed of pebbles at the bottom,—these spots, not less than the whole surface of the valley, from the river to the mountains that girdled it in, were carpeted all by a soft green grass, thick, short, perfectly even, and vanilla-perfumed, but so besprinkled throughout with the yellow buttercup, the white daisy, the purple violet, and the ruby-red asphodel, that its exceeding beauty spoke to our hearts in loud tones, of the love and of the glory of God.

The riverbank, along with the many sparkling streams that meandered into its channel, and the areas that stretched from the banks down into the depths of the water until they hit the pebble bed below—these spots, just like the entire valley from the river to the mountains surrounding it, were covered in soft green grass, thick, short, perfectly even, and smelling of vanilla. The grass was dotted with yellow buttercups, white daisies, purple violets, and ruby-red asphodels, creating such overwhelming beauty that it spoke to our hearts loudly about the love and glory of God.

And, here and there, in groves about this grass, like wildernesses of dreams, sprang up fantastic trees, whose tall slender stems stood not upright, but slanted gracefully toward the light that peered at noon-day into the centre of the valley. Their mark was speckled with the vivid alternate splendor of ebony and silver, and was smoother than all save the cheeks of Eleonora; so that, but for the brilliant green of the huge leaves that spread from their summits in long, tremulous lines, dallying with the Zephyrs, one might have fancied them giant serpents of Syria doing homage to their sovereign the Sun.

And here and there, in groves around this grass, like dreams coming to life, incredible trees popped up, their tall slender trunks not standing straight but slanting gracefully toward the light that peeked at noon into the center of the valley. Their surfaces were speckled with vibrant patterns of black and silver, smoother than anything except Eleonora's cheeks; so that, if not for the bright green of the massive leaves that spread from their tops in long, quivering lines, dancing with the breezes, one might have thought they were giant snakes from Syria paying tribute to their ruler, the Sun.

Hand in hand about this valley, for fifteen years, roamed I with Eleonora before Love entered within our hearts. It was one evening at the close of the third lustrum of her life, and of the fourth of my own, that we sat, locked in each other’s embrace, beneath the serpent-like trees, and looked down within the water of the River of Silence at our images therein. We spoke no words during the rest of that sweet day, and our words even upon the morrow were tremulous and few. We had drawn the God Eros from that wave, and now we felt that he had enkindled within us the fiery souls of our forefathers. The passions which had for centuries distinguished our race, came thronging with the fancies for which they had been equally noted, and together breathed a delirious bliss over the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass. A change fell upon all things. Strange, brilliant flowers, star-shaped, burn out upon the trees where no flowers had been known before. The tints of the green carpet deepened; and when, one by one, the white daisies shrank away, there sprang up in place of them, ten by ten of the ruby-red asphodel. And life arose in our paths; for the tall flamingo, hitherto unseen, with all gay glowing birds, flaunted his scarlet plumage before us. The golden and silver fish haunted the river, out of the bosom of which issued, little by little, a murmur that swelled, at length, into a lulling melody more divine than that of the harp of Æolus—sweeter than all save the voice of Eleonora. And now, too, a voluminous cloud, which we had long watched in the regions of Hesper, floated out thence, all gorgeous in crimson and gold, and settling in peace above us, sank, day by day, lower and lower, until its edges rested upon the tops of the mountains, turning all their dimness into magnificence, and shutting us up, as if forever, within a magic prison-house of grandeur and of glory.

Hand in hand through this valley for fifteen years, I roamed with Eleonora before love filled our hearts. One evening, at the end of her third five-year milestone and my fourth, we sat embraced beneath the winding trees, gazing into the water of the River of Silence at our reflections. We spoke no words for the rest of that sweet day, and even the next day, our words were hesitant and few. We had drawn the God Eros from the wave, and now we felt he had ignited the passionate souls of our ancestors within us. The emotions that had defined our lineage for centuries rushed in alongside the dreams they were equally known for, combining to fill the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass with bliss. Everything changed. Strange, vibrant, star-shaped flowers bloomed on the trees where none had been seen before. The colors of the green grass intensified, and as the white daisies faded away, they were replaced by clusters of ruby-red asphodel. Life emerged along our paths; the tall flamingo, previously unseen, along with all the colorful birds, displayed their scarlet feathers before us. Golden and silver fish thrived in the river, which gradually began to murmur, eventually rising into a soothing melody more divine than the harp of Aeolus—sweeter than anything except Eleonora’s voice. And now, a large cloud that we had long observed in the twilight regions floated down, magnificent in crimson and gold, slowly descending to rest above us, lowering day by day until its edges touched the mountain tops, transforming their dimness into splendor, trapping us forever, it seemed, within a magical realm of grandeur and glory.

The loveliness of Eleonora was that of the Seraphim; but she was a maiden artless and innocent as the brief life she had led among the flowers. No guile disguised the fervor of love which animated her heart, and she examined with me its inmost recesses as we walked together in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass, and discoursed of the mighty changes which had lately taken place therein.

The beauty of Eleonora was angelic, but she was a young woman as pure and innocent as the short life she had lived among the flowers. There was no deception hiding the passion of love that filled her heart, and she explored its deepest corners with me as we walked together in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass, discussing the significant changes that had recently occurred there.

At length, having spoken one day, in tears, of the last sad change which must befall Humanity, she thenceforward dwelt only upon this one sorrowful theme, interweaving it into all our converse, as, in the songs of the bard of Schiraz, the same images are found occurring, again and again, in every impressive variation of phrase.

Eventually, after discussing one day, in tears, the final heartbreaking change that must come to Humanity, she thereafter focused solely on this one sorrowful topic, weaving it into all our conversations, just as in the songs of the bard of Schiraz, the same images appear repeatedly in every powerful variation of phrase.

She had seen that the finger of Death was upon her bosom—that, like the ephemeron, she had been made perfect in loveliness only to die; but the terrors of the grave to her lay solely in a consideration which she revealed to me, one evening at twilight, by the banks of the River of Silence. She grieved to think that, having entombed her in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass, I would quit forever its happy recesses, transferring the love which now was so passionately her own to some maiden of the outer and everyday world. And, then and there, I threw myself hurriedly at the feet of Eleonora, and offered up a vow, to herself and to Heaven, that I would never bind myself in marriage to any daughter of Earth—that I would in no manner prove recreant to her dear memory, or to the memory of the devout affection with which she had blessed me. And I called the Mighty Ruler of the Universe to witness the pious solemnity of my vow. And the curse which I invoked of Him and of her, a saint in Helusion should I prove traitorous to that promise, involved a penalty the exceeding great horror of which will not permit me to make record of it here. And the bright eyes of Eleonora grew brighter at my words; and she sighed as if a deadly burthen had been taken from her breast; and she trembled and very bitterly wept; but she made acceptance of the vow, (for what was she but a child?) and it made easy to her the bed of her death. And she said to me, not many days afterward, tranquilly dying, that, because of what I had done for the comfort of her spirit she would watch over me in that spirit when departed, and, if so it were permitted her return to me visibly in the watches of the night; but, if this thing were, indeed, beyond the power of the souls in Paradise, that she would, at least, give me frequent indications of her presence, sighing upon me in the evening winds, or filling the air which I breathed with perfume from the censers of the angels. And, with these words upon her lips, she yielded up her innocent life, putting an end to the first epoch of my own.

She realized that Death was touching her heart—that, like the mayfly, she had been made perfectly beautiful only to die; but her fears about the grave were based solely on one concern she shared with me one evening at twilight by the banks of the River of Silence. She was sad to think that, after burying her in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass, I would leave its joyful depths forever, shifting the love that was so fiercely hers to some girl in the outside world. Right then and there, I fell hurriedly to Eleonora’s feet and vowed, to her and to Heaven, that I would never marry any daughter of Earth—that I would never betray her cherished memory or the devoted love she had given me. I called upon the Mighty Ruler of the Universe to witness the sacredness of my vow. And the curse I invoked from Him and her, a saint in Helusion should I betray that promise, held a horror so great that I cannot bear to record it here. Eleonora’s bright eyes sparkled even more at my words; she sighed as if a heavy burden had been lifted from her chest; she trembled and wept bitterly; but she accepted the vow (for what was she but a child?), and it eased her passage into death. A few days later, as she was quietly dying, she told me that, because of what I had done for her comfort, she would watch over me in spirit after she left, and if it was permitted, she would return to me visibly during the night; but if that were truly impossible for souls in Paradise, she would at least give me frequent signs of her presence, sighing in the evening winds or filling the air I breathed with the fragrance from the angels' censers. With those words on her lips, she surrendered her innocent life, ending the first chapter of my own.

Thus far I have faithfully said. But as I pass the barrier in Time’s path, formed by the death of my beloved, and proceed with the second era of my existence, I feel that a shadow gathers over my brain, and I mistrust the perfect sanity of the record. But let me on.—Years dragged themselves along heavily, and still I dwelled within the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass; but a second change had come upon all things. The star-shaped flowers shrank into the stems of the trees, and appeared no more. The tints of the green carpet faded; and, one by one, the ruby-red asphodels withered away; and there sprang up, in place of them, ten by ten, dark, eye-like violets, that writhed uneasily and were ever encumbered with dew. And Life departed from our paths; for the tall flamingo flaunted no longer his scarlet plumage before us, but flew sadly from the vale into the hills, with all the gay glowing birds that had arrived in his company. And the golden and silver fish swam down through the gorge at the lower end of our domain and bedecked the sweet river never again. And the lulling melody that had been softer than the wind-harp of Æolus, and more divine than all save the voice of Eleonora, it died little by little away, in murmurs growing lower and lower, until the stream returned, at length, utterly, into the solemnity of its original silence. And then, lastly, the voluminous cloud uprose, and, abandoning the tops of the mountains to the dimness of old, fell back into the regions of Hesper, and took away all its manifold golden and gorgeous glories from the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass.

So far, I have shared what happened. But as I cross the point in time marked by the death of my beloved and move into the next phase of my life, I sense a darkness settling over my mind, and I worry about the accuracy of my account. But I’ll continue. Years dragged on slowly, and I still remained in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass; however, everything had changed again. The star-shaped flowers faded into the tree trunks and disappeared. The vibrant colors of the green grass dulled; one by one, the ruby-red asphodels wilted away, replaced by clusters of dark, eye-like violets that twisted restlessly and were perpetually weighed down by dew. Life began to leave our paths; the tall flamingo no longer displayed his bright red feathers to us, but sadly flew from the valley to the hills, along with all the colorful birds that had accompanied him. The golden and silver fish swam down through the gorge at the edge of our domain, never to adorn the sweet river again. The soothing melody, which had been softer than the wind-harp of Aeolus and more divine than anything except Eleonora’s voice, gradually faded into murmurs that grew softer until the stream returned to the profound silence of its original state. Finally, the heavy cloud lifted, leaving the mountaintops shrouded in dusk, and retreated into the regions of Hesper, taking with it all the myriad golden and beautiful glories from the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass.

Yet the promises of Eleonora were not forgotten; for I heard the sounds of the swinging of the censers of the angels; and streams of a holy perfume floated ever and ever about the valley; and at lone hours, when my heart beat heavily, the winds that bathed my brow came unto me laden with soft sighs; and indistinct murmurs filled often the night air, and once—oh, but once only! I was awakened from a slumber, like the slumber of death, by the pressing of spiritual lips upon my own.

Yet the promises of Eleonora were not forgotten; I heard the sounds of the angels' censers swinging, and streams of holy fragrance filled the valley constantly. During quiet moments, when my heart felt heavy, the winds that brushed against my forehead carried soft sighs to me. Often, indistinct murmurs filled the night air, and once—oh, just once!—I was awakened from a sleep that felt like death by the gentle pressing of spiritual lips against my own.

But the void within my heart refused, even thus, to be filled. I longed for the love which had before filled it to overflowing. At length the valley pained me through its memories of Eleonora, and I left it for ever for the vanities and the turbulent triumphs of the world.

But the emptiness in my heart wouldn't be filled, even then. I yearned for the love that had once overflowed it. Eventually, the valley hurt me with its memories of Eleonora, so I left it behind forever for the fleeting pleasures and chaotic victories of the world.

I found myself within a strange city, where all things might have served to blot from recollection the sweet dreams I had dreamed so long in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass. The pomps and pageantries of a stately court, and the mad clangor of arms, and the radiant loveliness of women, bewildered and intoxicated my brain. But as yet my soul had proved true to its vows, and the indications of the presence of Eleonora were still given me in the silent hours of the night. Suddenly these manifestations they ceased, and the world grew dark before mine eyes, and I stood aghast at the burning thoughts which possessed, at the terrible temptations which beset me; for there came from some far, far distant and unknown land, into the gay court of the king I served, a maiden to whose beauty my whole recreant heart yielded at once—at whose footstool I bowed down without a struggle, in the most ardent, in the most abject worship of love. What, indeed, was my passion for the young girl of the valley in comparison with the fervor, and the delirium, and the spirit-lifting ecstasy of adoration with which I poured out my whole soul in tears at the feet of the ethereal Ermengarde?—Oh, bright was the seraph Ermengarde! and in that knowledge I had room for none other. Oh, divine was the angel Ermengarde! and as I looked down into the depths of her memorial eyes, I thought only of them—and of her.

I found myself in a strange city, where everything seemed to erase the sweet dreams I had cherished for so long in the Valley of Many-Colored Grass. The grandeur and ceremonies of a royal court, the chaotic noise of battle, and the stunning beauty of women overwhelmed and intoxicated me. But up until then, my soul had remained faithful to its vows, and I still felt Eleonora's presence during the quiet hours of the night. Suddenly, these signs disappeared, the world around me darkened, and I stood in shock at the burning thoughts that consumed me, at the terrible temptations that surrounded me. For from some far-off and unknown land, into the lively court of the king I served, came a maiden whose beauty made my whole unfaithful heart surrender instantly—at whose feet I bowed without resistance, in the most passionate, in the most submissive worship of love. What was my love for the young girl from the valley compared to the intensity, the madness, and the soul-lifting ecstasy of adoration with which I poured out my whole being in tears at the feet of the ethereal Ermengarde?—Oh, radiant was the seraph Ermengarde! and in that realization, I had room for no one else. Oh, divine was the angel Ermengarde! and as I gazed into the depths of her unforgettable eyes, I thought only of them—and of her.

I wedded—nor dreaded the curse I had invoked; and its bitterness was not visited upon me. And once—but once again in the silence of the night; there came through my lattice the soft sighs which had forsaken me; and they modelled themselves into familiar and sweet voice, saying:

I married—without fearing the curse I had called down; and its bitterness wasn’t inflicted on me. And once—just once again in the quiet of the night; there came through my window the soft sighs that had left me; and they shaped themselves into a familiar and sweet voice, saying:

“Sleep in peace! for the Spirit of Love reigneth and ruleth, and, in taking to thy passionate heart her who is Ermengarde, thou art absolved, for reasons which shall be made known to thee in Heaven, of thy vows unto Eleonora.”

“Sleep in peace! For the Spirit of Love reigns and rules, and by embracing your passionate heart with her who is Ermengarde, you are freed, for reasons that will be revealed to you in Heaven, from your vows to Eleonora.”

NOTES TO THE SECOND VOLUME

Notes — Scheherazade

(*1) The coralites.

The coral structures.

(*2) “One of the most remarkable natural curiosities in Texas is a petrified forest, near the head of Pasigno river. It consists of several hundred trees, in an erect position, all turned to stone. Some trees, now growing, are partly petrified. This is a startling fact for natural philosophers, and must cause them to modify the existing theory of petrification.—Kennedy.

(*2) “One of the most amazing natural wonders in Texas is a petrified forest near the head of the Pasigno River. It has several hundred trees standing upright, all turned to stone. Some of the trees that are still growing are partially petrified. This is a surprising fact for naturalists and will definitely make them rethink the current theory of petrification.—Kennedy.

This account, at first discredited, has since been corroborated by the discovery of a completely petrified forest, near the head waters of the Cheyenne, or Chienne river, which has its source in the Black Hills of the rocky chain.

This story, which was initially doubted, has now been confirmed by the discovery of a fully petrified forest near the headwaters of the Cheyenne, or Chienne river, that originates in the Black Hills of the Rocky Mountains.

There is scarcely, perhaps, a spectacle on the surface of the globe more remarkable, either in a geological or picturesque point of view than that presented by the petrified forest, near Cairo. The traveller, having passed the tombs of the caliphs, just beyond the gates of the city, proceeds to the southward, nearly at right angles to the road across the desert to Suez, and after having travelled some ten miles up a low barren valley, covered with sand, gravel, and sea shells, fresh as if the tide had retired but yesterday, crosses a low range of sandhills, which has for some distance run parallel to his path. The scene now presented to him is beyond conception singular and desolate. A mass of fragments of trees, all converted into stone, and when struck by his horse’s hoof ringing like cast iron, is seen to extend itself for miles and miles around him, in the form of a decayed and prostrate forest. The wood is of a dark brown hue, but retains its form in perfection, the pieces being from one to fifteen feet in length, and from half a foot to three feet in thickness, strewed so closely together, as far as the eye can reach, that an Egyptian donkey can scarcely thread its way through amongst them, and so natural that, were it in Scotland or Ireland, it might pass without remark for some enormous drained bog, on which the exhumed trees lay rotting in the sun. The roots and rudiments of the branches are, in many cases, nearly perfect, and in some the worm-holes eaten under the bark are readily recognizable. The most delicate of the sap vessels, and all the finer portions of the centre of the wood, are perfectly entire, and bear to be examined with the strongest magnifiers. The whole are so thoroughly silicified as to scratch glass and are capable of receiving the highest polish.— Asiatic Magazine.

There’s hardly a sight on Earth that's more striking, either geologically or visually, than the petrified forest near Cairo. After passing the tombs of the caliphs just outside the city gates, travelers head south, almost at a right angle to the road leading across the desert to Suez. After traveling about ten miles through a low, barren valley filled with sand, gravel, and seashells that seem like they were washed ashore just yesterday, they cross a low range of sandhills that has been parallel to their path for a while. What they see next is incredibly unique and desolate: a vast area filled with tree fragments, all turned to stone, which ring out like cast iron when struck by the horse’s hoof. This incredible scene stretches for miles around them, resembling a decaying, fallen forest. The wood has a dark brown color but maintains its structure perfectly, with pieces ranging from one to fifteen feet long and half a foot to three feet wide, packed so closely together that an Egyptian donkey struggles to navigate through them. It looks so natural that, if it were in Scotland or Ireland, it could easily be mistaken for a massive drained bog where the uprooted trees lie rotting in the sun. Many roots and remnants of branches are nearly intact, and in some cases, you can easily spot wormholes under the bark. The tiniest sap vessels and the finer parts of the wood's center are completely preserved and can be examined with powerful magnifiers. They are so thoroughly silicified that they can scratch glass and hold a high polish. — Asiatic Magazine

(*3) The Mammoth Cave of Kentucky.

(*3) The Mammoth Cave in Kentucky.

(*4) In Iceland, 1783.

In Iceland, 1783.

(*5) “During the eruption of Hecla, in 1766, clouds of this kind produced such a degree of darkness that, at Glaumba, which is more than fifty leagues from the mountain, people could only find their way by groping. During the eruption of Vesuvius, in 1794, at Caserta, four leagues distant, people could only walk by the light of torches. On the first of May, 1812, a cloud of volcanic ashes and sand, coming from a volcano in the island of St. Vincent, covered the whole of Barbadoes, spreading over it so intense a darkness that, at mid-day, in the open air, one could not perceive the trees or other objects near him, or even a white handkerchief placed at the distance of six inches from the eye.“—Murray, p. 215, Phil. edit.

(*5) “During the eruption of Hecla in 1766, clouds of this kind created such darkness that, in Glaumba, which is more than fifty leagues from the mountain, people could only navigate by feeling their way. During the eruption of Vesuvius in 1794, in Caserta, four leagues away, people could only walk by the light of torches. On May 1, 1812, a cloud of volcanic ash and sand from a volcano in the island of St. Vincent covered all of Barbados, spreading such intense darkness that at midday, in the open air, you couldn’t see trees or other nearby objects, or even a white handkerchief held just six inches from your eye.“—Murray, p. 215, Phil. edit.

(*6) In the year 1790, in the Caraccas during an earthquake a portion of the granite soil sank and left a lake eight hundred yards in diameter, and from eighty to a hundred feet deep. It was a part of the forest of Aripao which sank, and the trees remained green for several months under the water.”—Murray, p. 221

(*6) In 1790, during an earthquake in Caracas, a section of the granite ground sank, creating a lake about eight hundred yards wide and between eighty to a hundred feet deep. This was a part of the Aripao forest that sank, and the trees stayed green for several months underwater.”—Murray, p. 221

(*7) The hardest steel ever manufactured may, under the action of a blowpipe, be reduced to an impalpable powder, which will float readily in the atmospheric air.

(*7) The hardest steel ever made can, with the use of a blowpipe, be turned into a fine powder that easily floats in the air.

(*8) The region of the Niger. See Simmona’s Colonial Magazine.

(*8) The area around the Niger River. See Simmona’s Colonial Magazine.

(*9) The Myrmeleon—lion-ant. The term “monster” is equally applicable to small abnormal things and to great, while such epithets as “vast” are merely comparative. The cavern of the myrmeleon is vast in comparison with the hole of the common red ant. A grain of silex is also a “rock.”

(*9) The Myrmeleon—lion-ant. The word “monster” can describe both small strange things and large ones, while terms like “vast” are just relative. The myrmeleon’s burrow is huge compared to the hole of a regular red ant. A grain of silica can also be called a “rock.”

(*10) The Epidendron, Flos Aeris, of the family of the Orchideae, grows with merely the surface of its roots attached to a tree or other object, from which it derives no nutriment—subsisting altogether upon air.

(*10) The Epidendron, Flos Aeris, from the Orchideae family, grows with just the surface of its roots touching a tree or another object, from which it gets no nourishment—living entirely on air.

(*11) The Parasites, such as the wonderful Rafflesia Arnaldii.

The Parasites, like the incredible Rafflesia Arnaldii.

(*12) Schouw advocates a class of plants that grow upon living animals—the Plantae Epizoae. Of this class are the Fuci and Algae.

(*12) Schouw supports a group of plants that grow on living animals—the Plantae Epizoae. Included in this group are the Fuci and Algae.

Mr. J. B. Williams, of Salem, Mass., presented the “National Institute” with an insect from New Zealand, with the following description: “‘The Hotte, a decided caterpillar, or worm, is found gnawing at the root of the Rota tree, with a plant growing out of its head. This most peculiar and extraordinary insect travels up both the Rota and Ferriri trees, and entering into the top, eats its way, perforating the trunk of the trees until it reaches the root, and dies, or remains dormant, and the plant propagates out of its head; the body remains perfect and entire, of a harder substance than when alive. From this insect the natives make a coloring for tattooing.

Mr. J. B. Williams, of Salem, Mass., donated an insect from New Zealand to the “National Institute,” along with this description: “‘The Hotte, a notable caterpillar or worm, is found gnawing at the root of the Rota tree, with a plant growing out of its head. This unique and extraordinary insect climbs both the Rota and Ferriri trees, entering through the top and eating its way down, boring through the trunk until it reaches the root. It then dies or goes dormant, allowing the plant to grow out of its head; the body remains intact and is harder than when it was alive. The locals use this insect to make a dye for tattooing.

(*13) In mines and natural caves we find a species of cryptogamous fungus that emits an intense phosphorescence.

(*13) In mines and natural caves, we discover a type of cryptogamous fungus that glows brightly with phosphorescence.

(*14) The orchis, scabius and valisneria.

(*14) The orchid, scabious, and eelgrass.

(*15) The corolla of this flower (Aristolochia Clematitis), which is tubular, but terminating upwards in a ligulate limb, is inflated into a globular figure at the base. The tubular part is internally beset with stiff hairs, pointing downwards. The globular part contains the pistil, which consists merely of a germen and stigma, together with the surrounding stamens. But the stamens, being shorter than the germen, cannot discharge the pollen so as to throw it upon the stigma, as the flower stands always upright till after impregnation. And hence, without some additional and peculiar aid, the pollen must necessarily fan down to the bottom of the flower. Now, the aid that nature has furnished in this case, is that of the Tiputa Pennicornis, a small insect, which entering the tube of the corrolla in quest of honey, descends to the bottom, and rummages about till it becomes quite covered with pollen; but not being able to force its way out again, owing to the downward position of the hairs, which converge to a point like the wires of a mouse-trap, and being somewhat impatient of its confinement it brushes backwards and forwards, trying every corner, till, after repeatedly traversing the stigma, it covers it with pollen sufficient for its impregnation, in consequence of which the flower soon begins to droop, and the hairs to shrink to the sides of the tube, effecting an easy passage for the escape of the insect.”—Rev. P. Keith-System of Physiological Botany.

(*15) The corolla of this flower (Aristolochia Clematitis) is tubular and ends with a flattened limb. Its base is expanded into a round shape. The inner part of the tube has stiff hairs pointing downward. The round section houses the pistil, which includes just the ovary and stigma, along with the surrounding stamens. However, since the stamens are shorter than the ovary, they can't release pollen onto the stigma because the flower always stays upright until after fertilization. Therefore, without some unique help, the pollen must fall to the bottom of the flower. Nature provides this assistance through the Tiputa Pennicornis, a small insect that enters the corolla's tube looking for nectar, descends to the bottom, and moves around until it’s covered in pollen. However, it can’t force its way out due to the downward-pointing hairs that converge like the wires of a mouse trap. Feeling confined, it brushes back and forth, exploring every corner, until it repeatedly crosses the stigma and deposits enough pollen for fertilization. As a result, the flower soon begins to droop, and the hairs retract to the sides of the tube, allowing the insect to escape easily.”—Rev. P. Keith-System of Physiological Botany.

(*16) The bees—ever since bees were—have been constructing their cells with just such sides, in just such number, and at just such inclinations, as it has been demonstrated (in a problem involving the profoundest mathematical principles) are the very sides, in the very number, and at the very angles, which will afford the creatures the most room that is compatible with the greatest stability of structure.

(*16) Bees—ever since they’ve existed—have been building their cells with these specific sides, in this exact number, and at these precise angles, as proven (in a problem involving the deepest mathematical principles) to be the sides, in the number, and at the angles that provide them with the most space while ensuring the greatest structural stability.

During the latter part of the last century, the question arose among mathematicians—“to determine the best form that can be given to the sails of a windmill, according to their varying distances from the revolving vanes, and likewise from the centres of the revolution.” This is an excessively complex problem, for it is, in other words, to find the best possible position at an infinity of varied distances and at an infinity of points on the arm. There were a thousand futile attempts to answer the query on the part of the most illustrious mathematicians, and when at length, an undeniable solution was discovered, men found that the wings of a bird had given it with absolute precision ever since the first bird had traversed the air.

In the last part of the 20th century, mathematicians began to ask, “What’s the best shape for windmill sails, based on how far they are from the rotating blades, and from the centers of rotation?” This is a really complicated problem because it means figuring out the ideal position at countless different distances and at numerous points along the arm. Many of the most famous mathematicians made a thousand unsuccessful attempts to solve this question, and when a clear answer was finally found, people realized that bird wings had been providing it with perfect accuracy since the first bird flew through the air.

(*17) He observed a flock of pigeons passing betwixt Frankfort and the Indian territory, one mile at least in breadth; it took up four hours in passing, which, at the rate of one mile per minute, gives a length of 240 miles; and, supposing three pigeons to each square yard, gives 2,230,272,000 Pigeons.—“Travels in Canada and the United States,” by Lieut. F. Hall.

(*17) He saw a flock of pigeons flying between Frankfort and the Indian territory, at least a mile wide; it took four hours to pass, which, at one mile per minute, means a length of 240 miles; and, assuming there are three pigeons per square yard, that results in 2,230,272,000 pigeons.—“Travels in Canada and the United States,” by Lieut. F. Hall.

(*18) The earth is upheld by a cow of a blue color, having horns four hundred in number.”—Sale’s Koran.

(*18) The earth is supported by a blue cow with four hundred horns.”—Sale’s Koran.

(*19) “The Entozoa, or intestinal worms, have repeatedly been observed in the muscles, and in the cerebral substance of men.”—See Wyatt’s Physiology, p. 143.

(*19) “The Entozoa, or intestinal worms, have been consistently seen in the muscles and brain tissue of humans.”—See Wyatt’s Physiology, p. 143.

(*20) On the Great Western Railway, between London and Exeter, a speed of 71 miles per hour has been attained. A train weighing 90 tons was whirled from Paddington to Didcot (53 miles) in 51 minutes.

(*20) On the Great Western Railway, between London and Exeter, a speed of 71 miles per hour has been reached. A train weighing 90 tons traveled from Paddington to Didcot (53 miles) in 51 minutes.

(*21) The Eccalobeion

The Eccalobeion

(*22) Mäelzel’s Automaton Chess-player.

Mäelzel’s Chess-Playing Automaton.

(*23) Babbage’s Calculating Machine.

Babbage's Calculator.

(*24) Chabert, and since him, a hundred others.

(*24) Chabert, and since then, a hundred others.

(*25) The Electrotype.

The Electrotype.

(*26) Wollaston made of platinum for the field of views in a telescope a wire one eighteen-thousandth part of an inch in thickness. It could be seen only by means of the microscope.

(*26) Wollaston created a platinum wire for the telescope's field of view that was one eighteen-thousandth of an inch thick. It could only be seen using a microscope.

(*27) Newton demonstrated that the retina beneath the influence of the violet ray of the spectrum, vibrated 900,000,000 of times in a second.

(*27) Newton showed that the retina, under the influence of the violet ray of the spectrum, vibrated 900,000,000 times per second.

(*28) Voltaic pile.

Voltaic cell.

(*29) The Electro Telegraph Printing Apparatus.

(*29) The Electro Telegraph Printing Device.

(*30) The Electro telegraph transmits intelligence instantaneously—at least at so far as regards any distance upon the earth.

(*30) The electric telegraph sends information instantly—at least as far as any distance on Earth goes.

(*31) Common experiments in Natural Philosophy. If two red rays from two luminous points be admitted into a dark chamber so as to fall on a white surface, and differ in their length by 0.0000258 of an inch, their intensity is doubled. So also if the difference in length be any whole-number multiple of that fraction. A multiple by 2 1/4, 3 1/4, &c., gives an intensity equal to one ray only; but a multiple by 2 1/2, 3 1/2, &c., gives the result of total darkness. In violet rays similar effects arise when the difference in length is 0.000157 of an inch; and with all other rays the results are the same—the difference varying with a uniform increase from the violet to the red.

(*31) Common experiments in Natural Philosophy. When two red rays from two light sources enter a dark room and hit a white surface, their intensity doubles if they differ in length by 0.0000258 of an inch. The same goes for any whole-number multiple of that fraction. A multiple of 2 1/4, 3 1/4, etc., results in an intensity equivalent to just one ray; however, a multiple of 2 1/2, 3 1/2, etc., leads to complete darkness. Similar effects occur with violet rays when the difference in length is 0.000157 of an inch, and the same pattern is observed with all other rays—the difference increases uniformly from violet to red.

“Analogous experiments in respect to sound produce analogous results.”

“Similar experiments with sound yield similar results.”

(*32) Place a platina crucible over a spirit lamp, and keep it a red heat; pour in some sulphuric acid, which, though the most volatile of bodies at a common temperature, will be found to become completely fixed in a hot crucible, and not a drop evaporates—being surrounded by an atmosphere of its own, it does not, in fact, touch the sides. A few drops of water are now introduced, when the acid, immediately coming in contact with the heated sides of the crucible, flies off in sulphurous acid vapor, and so rapid is its progress, that the caloric of the water passes off with it, which falls a lump of ice to the bottom; by taking advantage of the moment before it is allowed to remelt, it may be turned out a lump of ice from a red-hot vessel.

(*32) Place a platinum crucible over a spirit lamp and heat it until it's red hot; then pour in some sulfuric acid, which, although it is the most volatile substance at room temperature, will become completely stable in a hot crucible, and not a drop will evaporate—surrounded by its own atmosphere, it doesn’t actually touch the sides. Now, add a few drops of water, and when the acid immediately contacts the heated sides of the crucible, it turns into sulfurous acid vapor. Its progress is so fast that the heat from the water escapes with it, forming a lump of ice at the bottom; by taking advantage of the moment before it starts to melt again, you can get a lump of ice from a red-hot container.

(*33) The Daguerreotype.

The Daguerreotype.

(*34) Although light travels 167,000 miles in a second, the distance of 61 Cygni (the only star whose distance is ascertained) is so inconceivably great, that its rays would require more than ten years to reach the earth. For stars beyond this, 20—or even 1000 years—would be a moderate estimate. Thus, if they had been annihilated 20, or 1000 years ago, we might still see them to-day by the light which started from their surfaces 20 or 1000 years in the past time. That many which we see daily are really extinct, is not impossible—not even improbable.

(*34) Even though light travels 167,000 miles per second, the distance to 61 Cygni (the only star we can measure the distance to) is so incredibly vast that its light takes over ten years to reach Earth. For stars even farther away, 20 or even 1,000 years might be a reasonable estimate. So, if they had been destroyed 20 or 1,000 years ago, we could still see them today by the light that left their surfaces 20 or 1,000 years ago. It's possible—even likely—that many of the stars we see every day are actually extinct.

Notes—Maelstrom

(*1) See Archimedes, “De Incidentibus in Fluido.”—lib. 2.

(*1) See Archimedes, “On Floating Bodies.”—book 2.

Notes—Island of the Fay

(*1) Moraux is here derived from moeurs, and its meaning is “fashionable” or more strictly “of manners.”

(*1) Moraux comes from moeurs, and it means “fashionable” or more specifically “of manners.”

(*2) Speaking of the tides, Pomponius Mela, in his treatise “De Situ Orbis,” says “either the world is a great animal, or” etc

(*2) Speaking of the tides, Pomponius Mela, in his work “De Situ Orbis,” says “either the world is a great animal, or” etc.

(*3) Balzac—in substance—I do not remember the words

(*3) Balzac—in essence—I don’t recall the words.

(*4) Florem putares nare per liquidum aethera.—P. Commire.

(*4) You would think that flowers swim through the clear sky.—P. Commire.

Notes — Domain of Arnheim

(*1) An incident, similar in outline to the one here imagined, occurred, not very long ago, in England. The name of the fortunate heir was Thelluson. I first saw an account of this matter in the “Tour” of Prince Puckler Muskau, who makes the sum inherited ninety millions of pounds, and justly observes that “in the contemplation of so vast a sum, and of the services to which it might be applied, there is something even of the sublime.” To suit the views of this article I have followed the Prince’s statement, although a grossly exaggerated one. The germ, and in fact, the commencement of the present paper was published many years ago—previous to the issue of the first number of Sue’s admirable Juif Errant, which may possibly have been suggested to him by Muskau’s account.

(*1) A similar incident to the one described here happened not too long ago in England. The name of the lucky heir was Thelluson. I first came across this story in Prince Puckler Muskau's “Tour,” where he states that the inherited amount was ninety million pounds, and he rightly points out that “when considering such a huge sum and the ways it could be used, there's something almost sublime about it.” For the purposes of this article, I've followed the Prince’s claim, even though it’s quite exaggerated. The idea, and actually the beginning of this piece, was published many years ago—before the first issue of Sue’s remarkable Juif Errant, which may have been inspired by Muskau’s account.

Notes—Berenice

(*1) For as Jove, during the winter season, gives twice seven days of warmth, men have called this element and temperate time the nurse of the beautiful Halcyon—Simonides

(*1) Just as Jove gives a warm spell of fourteen days during the winter, people have referred to this time and climate as the nurturing period of the beautiful Halcyon—Simonides

VOLUME 3.

NARRATIVE OF A. GORDON PYM

INTRODUCTORY NOTE

Upon my return to the United States a few months ago, after the extraordinary series of adventure in the South Seas and elsewhere, of which an account is given in the following pages, accident threw me into the society of several gentlemen in Richmond, Va., who felt deep interest in all matters relating to the regions I had visited, and who were constantly urging it upon me, as a duty, to give my narrative to the public. I had several reasons, however, for declining to do so, some of which were of a nature altogether private, and concern no person but myself; others not so much so. One consideration which deterred me was that, having kept no journal during a greater portion of the time in which I was absent, I feared I should not be able to write, from mere memory, a statement so minute and connected as to have the appearanceof that truth it would really possess, barring only the natural and unavoidable exaggeration to which all of us are prone when detailing events which have had powerful influence in exciting the imaginative faculties. Another reason was, that the incidents to be narrated were of a nature so positively marvellous that, unsupported as my assertions must necessarily be (except by the evidence of a single individual, and he a half-breed Indian), I could only hope for belief among my family, and those of my friends who have had reason, through life, to put faith in my veracity—the probability being that the public at large would regard what I should put forth as merely an impudent and ingenious fiction. A distrust in my own abilities as a writer was, nevertheless, one of the principal causes which prevented me from complying with the suggestions of my advisers.

A few months ago, when I returned to the United States after an incredible series of adventures in the South Seas and beyond, I accidentally found myself among several gentlemen in Richmond, VA. They were very interested in everything related to the places I had visited and constantly encouraged me to share my story with the public as a duty. However, I had several reasons for saying no, some of which were very personal and only concerned me, while others were not. One of my concerns was that I hadn’t kept a journal for most of my time away, and I was worried I wouldn’t be able to write a detailed and coherent account from just memory, which would truly represent the truth—except for the natural and unavoidable exaggeration we all tend to make when recounting events that deeply engage our imagination. Another reason was that the events I wanted to share were so extraordinary that, without any solid support for my claims (except for the testimony of one individual, who was a half-breed Indian), I could only hope for belief from my family and friends who have always trusted my honesty throughout my life. The likelihood was that the general public would see what I wrote as just an audacious and clever fabrication. Still, my lack of confidence in my writing skills was one of the main reasons I didn’t follow the advice of those around me.

Among those gentlemen in Virginia who expressed the greatest interest in my statement, more particularly in regard to that portion of it which related to the Antarctic Ocean, was Mr. Poe, lately editor of the “Southern Literary Messenger,” a monthly magazine, published by Mr. Thomas W. White, in the city of Richmond. He strongly advised me, among others, to prepare at once a full account of what I had seen and undergone, and trust to the shrewdness and common-sense of the public—insisting, with great plausibility, that however roughly, as regards mere authorship, my book should be got up, its very uncouthness, if there were any, would give it all the better chance of being received as truth.

Among those gentlemen in Virginia who showed the most interest in my statement, especially concerning the part about the Antarctic Ocean, was Mr. Poe, the recent editor of the “Southern Literary Messenger,” a monthly magazine run by Mr. Thomas W. White in Richmond. He firmly advised me, along with others, to immediately write a detailed account of what I had seen and experienced, trusting in the intelligence and common sense of the public—arguing persuasively that no matter how rough my book might be in terms of authorship, its awkwardness, if any, would actually improve its chances of being accepted as true.

Notwithstanding this representation, I did not make up my mind to do as he suggested. He afterward proposed (finding that I would not stir in the matter) that I should allow him to draw up, in his own words, a narrative of the earlier portion of my adventures, from facts afforded by myself, publishing it in the “Southern Messenger” under the garb of fiction. To this, perceiving no objection, I consented, stipulating only that my real name should be retained. Two numbers of the pretended fiction appeared, consequently, in the “Messenger” for January and February (1837), and, in order that it might certainly be regarded as fiction, the name of Mr. Poe was affixed to the articles in the table of contents of the magazine.

Despite this suggestion, I didn't decide to go along with his idea. Later, he suggested (noticing that I wouldn't move forward with it) that I let him write, in his own words, a story about the earlier part of my adventures, using details from me, and publish it in the “Southern Messenger” as a piece of fiction. I saw no reason to refuse, so I agreed, with the condition that my real name should be kept. As a result, two installments of this so-called fiction were published in the "Messenger" for January and February (1837), and to make sure it was seen as fiction, Mr. Poe's name was attached to the entries in the magazine’s table of contents.

The manner in which this ruse was received has induced me at length to undertake a regular compilation and publication of the adventures in question; for I found that, in spite of the air of fable which had been so ingeniously thrown around that portion of my statement which appeared in the “Messenger” (without altering or distorting a single fact), the public were still not at all disposed to receive it as fable, and several letters were sent to Mr. P.’s address, distinctly expressing a conviction to the contrary. I thence concluded that the facts of my narrative would prove of such a nature as to carry with them sufficient evidence of their own authenticity, and that I had consequently little to fear on the score of popular incredulity.

The way this trick was received has finally prompted me to take on a full compilation and publication of the adventures in question; I realized that, despite the fantastical spin that had been so cleverly placed on that part of my account which appeared in the “Messenger” (without changing or twisting a single fact), the public still wasn't inclined to see it as a mere fiction. Several letters were sent to Mr. P.’s address clearly expressing a belief to the contrary. From this, I concluded that the facts of my story would be strong enough to stand on their own in terms of authenticity, and that I really had little to worry about regarding public skepticism.

This exposébeing made, it will be seen at once how much of what follows I claim to be my own writing; and it will also be understood that no fact is misrepresented in the first few pages which were written by Mr. Poe. Even to those readers who have not seen the “Messenger,” it will be unnecessary to point out where his portion ends and my own commences; the difference in point of style will be readily perceived.

This exposé being presented, it will be clear right away how much of what follows I consider to be my own writing; and it will also be understood that no fact is misrepresented in the first few pages written by Mr. Poe. Even for those readers who haven't seen the "Messenger," it will be unnecessary to indicate where his part ends and my own begins; the difference in style will be easily recognized.

A. G. PYM.

A. G. PYM.

CHAPTER 1

My name is Arthur Gordon Pym. My father was a respectable trader in sea-stores at Nantucket, where I was born. My maternal grandfather was an attorney in good practice. He was fortunate in every thing, and had speculated very successfully in stocks of the Edgarton New Bank, as it was formerly called. By these and other means he had managed to lay by a tolerable sum of money. He was more attached to myself, I believe, than to any other person in the world, and I expected to inherit the most of his property at his death. He sent me, at six years of age, to the school of old Mr. Ricketts, a gentleman with only one arm and of eccentric manners—he is well known to almost every person who has visited New Bedford. I stayed at his school until I was sixteen, when I left him for Mr. E. Ronald’s academy on the hill. Here I became intimate with the son of Mr. Barnard, a sea-captain, who generally sailed in the employ of Lloyd and Vredenburgh—Mr. Barnard is also very well known in New Bedford, and has many relations, I am certain, in Edgarton. His son was named Augustus, and he was nearly two years older than myself. He had been on a whaling voyage with his father in the John Donaldson, and was always talking to me of his adventures in the South Pacific Ocean. I used frequently to go home with him, and remain all day, and sometimes all night. We occupied the same bed, and he would be sure to keep me awake until almost light, telling me stories of the natives of the Island of Tinian, and other places he had visited in his travels. At last I could not help being interested in what he said, and by degrees I felt the greatest desire to go to sea. I owned a sailboat called the Ariel, and worth about seventy-five dollars. She had a half-deck or cuddy, and was rigged sloop-fashion—I forget her tonnage, but she would hold ten persons without much crowding. In this boat we were in the habit of going on some of the maddest freaks in the world; and, when I now think of them, it appears to me a thousand wonders that I am alive to-day.

My name is Arthur Gordon Pym. My dad was a respectable trader in sea supplies in Nantucket, where I was born. My grandfather on my mom's side was a successful lawyer. He was lucky in everything and had done really well investing in stocks of the Edgarton New Bank, which it was called back then. Through this and other ventures, he managed to save a pretty decent amount of money. I believe he was more attached to me than to anyone else in the world, and I expected to inherit most of his wealth when he passed away. At six years old, he sent me to the school of old Mr. Ricketts, a man with one arm and quirky habits—he's well-known to almost everyone who has visited New Bedford. I stayed at his school until I was sixteen, when I moved on to Mr. E. Ronald’s academy on the hill. There, I became close friends with Mr. Barnard's son, a sea captain who usually worked for Lloyd and Vredenburgh—Mr. Barnard is also quite famous in New Bedford and surely has many relatives in Edgarton. His son was named Augustus and was almost two years older than me. He had been on a whaling trip with his father aboard the John Donaldson and would often tell me about his adventures in the South Pacific Ocean. I would frequently go home with him and stay all day, sometimes even overnight. We shared the same bed, and he always kept me awake until nearly dawn, sharing stories about the natives of Tinian and other places he visited during his travels. Eventually, I couldn't help but become fascinated by what he shared, and gradually I developed a strong desire to go to sea. I owned a sailboat called the Ariel, worth about seventy-five dollars. It had a half-deck or cuddy and was rigged like a sloop—I forget its tonnage, but it could fit ten people without feeling cramped. In that boat, we often went on some of the wildest adventures imaginable; looking back on them now, I still marvel that I'm alive today.

I will relate one of these adventures by way of introduction to a longer and more momentous narrative. One night there was a party at Mr. Barnard’s, and both Augustus and myself were not a little intoxicated toward the close of it. As usual, in such cases, I took part of his bed in preference to going home. He went to sleep, as I thought, very quietly (it being near one when the party broke up), and without saying a word on his favorite topic. It might have been half an hour from the time of our getting in bed, and I was just about falling into a doze, when he suddenly started up, and swore with a terrible oath that he would not go to sleep for any Arthur Pym in Christendom, when there was so glorious a breeze from the southwest. I never was so astonished in my life, not knowing what he intended, and thinking that the wines and liquors he had drunk had set him entirely beside himself. He proceeded to talk very coolly, however, saying he knew that I supposed him intoxicated, but that he was never more sober in his life. He was only tired, he added, of lying in bed on such a fine night like a dog, and was determined to get up and dress, and go out on a frolic with the boat. I can hardly tell what possessed me, but the words were no sooner out of his mouth than I felt a thrill of the greatest excitement and pleasure, and thought his mad idea one of the most delightful and most reasonable things in the world. It was blowing almost a gale, and the weather was very cold—it being late in October. I sprang out of bed, nevertheless, in a kind of ecstasy, and told him I was quite as brave as himself, and quite as tired as he was of lying in bed like a dog, and quite as ready for any fun or frolic as any Augustus Barnard in Nantucket.

I’m going to share one of these adventures to introduce a longer and more significant story. One night, there was a party at Mr. Barnard’s place, and both Augustus and I were pretty drunk by the end of it. As usual in such situations, I opted to sleep in his bed instead of going home. He seemed to fall asleep quietly (it was almost one when the party wrapped up) and didn’t say a word about his favorite topic. It might have been about half an hour after we got into bed when he suddenly woke up, cursing loudly that he wouldn’t go to sleep for any Arthur Pym in Christendom with such a beautiful breeze coming in from the southwest. I was completely shocked, not knowing what he meant, thinking that all the drinks had made him lose his mind. However, he started talking calmly, saying he knew I thought he was drunk, but he was never more sober in his life. He added that he was just tired of lying in bed like a dog on such a nice night and was determined to get up, get dressed, and go out on an adventure with the boat. I can’t explain why, but as soon as he said that, I felt a rush of excitement and thought his crazy plan was one of the best and most sensible ideas ever. It was blowing almost a gale, and it was really cold since it was late October. Still, I jumped out of bed in a kind of frenzy and told him I was just as brave as he was, just as tired of lying in bed like a dog, and just as ready for any fun or adventure as any Augustus Barnard in Nantucket.

We lost no time in getting on our clothes and hurrying down to the boat. She was lying at the old decayed wharf by the lumber-yard of Pankey & Co., and almost thumping her side out against the rough logs. Augustus got into her and bailed her, for she was nearly half full of water. This being done, we hoisted jib and mainsail, kept full, and started boldly out to sea.

We quickly got dressed and rushed down to the boat. It was docked at the old, decaying wharf by the Pankey & Co. lumber yard, almost banging against the rough logs. Augustus climbed in and bailed her out since she was almost half full of water. Once that was done, we raised the jib and mainsail, filled it up, and set out confidently to sea.

The wind, as I before said, blew freshly from the southwest. The night was very clear and cold. Augustus had taken the helm, and I stationed myself by the mast, on the deck of the cuddy. We flew along at a great rate—neither of us having said a word since casting loose from the wharf. I now asked my companion what course he intended to steer, and what time he thought it probable we should get back. He whistled for a few minutes, and then said crustily: “I am going to sea—you may go home if you think proper.” Turning my eyes upon him, I perceived at once that, in spite of his assumed nonchalance, he was greatly agitated. I could see him distinctly by the light of the moon—his face was paler than any marble, and his hand shook so excessively that he could scarcely retain hold of the tiller. I found that something had gone wrong, and became seriously alarmed. At this period I knew little about the management of a boat, and was now depending entirely upon the nautical skill of my friend. The wind, too, had suddenly increased, as we were fast getting out of the lee of the land—still I was ashamed to betray any trepidation, and for almost half an hour maintained a resolute silence. I could stand it no longer, however, and spoke to Augustus about the propriety of turning back. As before, it was nearly a minute before he made answer, or took any notice of my suggestion. “By-and-by,” said he at length—“time enough—home by-and-by.” I had expected a similar reply, but there was something in the tone of these words which filled me with an indescribable feeling of dread. I again looked at the speaker attentively. His lips were perfectly livid, and his knees shook so violently together that he seemed scarcely able to stand. “For God’s sake, Augustus,” I screamed, now heartily frightened, “what ails you?—what is the matter?—what are you going to do?” “Matter!” he stammered, in the greatest apparent surprise, letting go the tiller at the same moment, and falling forward into the bottom of the boat—“matter—why, nothing is the—matter—going home—d—d—don’t you see?” The whole truth now flashed upon me. I flew to him and raised him up. He was drunk—beastly drunk—he could no longer either stand, speak, or see. His eyes were perfectly glazed; and as I let him go in the extremity of my despair, he rolled like a mere log into the bilge-water, from which I had lifted him. It was evident that, during the evening, he had drunk far more than I suspected, and that his conduct in bed had been the result of a highly-concentrated state of intoxication—a state which, like madness, frequently enables the victim to imitate the outward demeanour of one in perfect possession of his senses. The coolness of the night air, however, had had its usual effect—the mental energy began to yield before its influence—and the confused perception which he no doubt then had of his perilous situation had assisted in hastening the catastrophe. He was now thoroughly insensible, and there was no probability that he would be otherwise for many hours.

The wind, as I mentioned earlier, blew briskly from the southwest. The night was very clear and cold. Augustus was at the helm, and I was positioned by the mast on the deck of the cabin. We sped along quickly—neither of us had spoken since leaving the dock. I asked my friend what course he planned to take and when he thought we might return. He whistled for a few minutes, then responded sharply, “I’m going to sea—you can go home if you want.” Looking at him, I could tell that despite his casual attitude, he was really disturbed. I could see him clearly in the moonlight—his face was paler than marble, and his hand shook so much he could barely hold the tiller. I realized something was wrong and started to feel seriously worried. At that moment, I knew little about boating and was completely relying on my friend’s nautical skills. The wind had also picked up suddenly as we were getting away from the shelter of the land—I was embarrassed to show any fear, so I kept quiet for nearly half an hour. Eventually, I couldn’t hold it in anymore and suggested to Augustus that we turn back. As before, it took him almost a minute to respond or acknowledge what I said. “Later,” he finally replied—“there’s plenty of time—home later.” I expected a similar answer, but something in the tone of his words filled me with an indescribable sense of dread. I looked closely at him again. His lips were completely pale, and his knees were shaking so badly he seemed hardly able to stand. “For God’s sake, Augustus,” I yelled, now really scared, “what’s wrong?—what’s the matter?—what are you going to do?” “Wrong!” he stammered, appearing completely surprised, letting go of the tiller at the same moment and falling forward into the bottom of the boat—“wrong—why, there’s nothing wrong—going home—d—d—don’t you see?” The full truth hit me all at once. I rushed to him and helped him up. He was drunk—totally drunk—he couldn’t stand, talk, or see properly. His eyes were completely glazed; and as I let him go in my despair, he rolled like a log into the bilge water, from which I had just lifted him. It was clear that he had consumed far more alcohol during the evening than I had realized, and his earlier behavior had been the result of a severe level of intoxication—a state that, like madness, sometimes allows a person to mimic the outward behavior of someone completely in control of their senses. The coolness of the night air had its usual effect—the mental clarity was starting to give way under its influence—and the disorienting awareness he likely had of his dangerous situation was speeding up the disaster. He was now completely out of it, and it seemed unlikely that he would regain his senses for many hours.

It is hardly possible to conceive the extremity of my terror. The fumes of the wine lately taken had evaporated, leaving me doubly timid and irresolute. I knew that I was altogether incapable of managing the boat, and that a fierce wind and strong ebb tide were hurrying us to destruction. A storm was evidently gathering behind us; we had neither compass nor provisions; and it was clear that, if we held our present course, we should be out of sight of land before daybreak. These thoughts, with a crowd of others equally fearful, flashed through my mind with a bewildering rapidity, and for some moments paralyzed me beyond the possibility of making any exertion. The boat was going through the water at a terrible rate—full before the wind—no reef in either jib or mainsail—running her bows completely under the foam. It was a thousand wonders she did not broach to—Augustus having let go the tiller, as I said before, and I being too much agitated to think of taking it myself. By good luck, however, she kept steady, and gradually I recovered some degree of presence of mind. Still the wind was increasing fearfully, and whenever we rose from a plunge forward, the sea behind fell combing over our counter, and deluged us with water. I was so utterly benumbed, too, in every limb, as to be nearly unconscious of sensation. At length I summoned up the resolution of despair, and rushing to the mainsail let it go by the run. As might have been expected, it flew over the bows, and, getting drenched with water, carried away the mast short off by the board. This latter accident alone saved me from instant destruction. Under the jib only, I now boomed along before the wind, shipping heavy seas occasionally over the counter, but relieved from the terror of immediate death. I took the helm, and breathed with greater freedom as I found that there yet remained to us a chance of ultimate escape. Augustus still lay senseless in the bottom of the boat; and as there was imminent danger of his drowning (the water being nearly a foot deep just where he fell), I contrived to raise him partially up, and keep him in a sitting position, by passing a rope round his waist, and lashing it to a ringbolt in the deck of the cuddy. Having thus arranged every thing as well as I could in my chilled and agitated condition, I recommended myself to God, and made up my mind to bear whatever might happen with all the fortitude in my power.

It's almost impossible to imagine how terrified I was. The effects of the wine I had just drunk had faded, leaving me even more timid and uncertain. I knew I couldn't handle the boat at all, and a strong wind along with a powerful tide were pushing us towards disaster. A storm was clearly brewing behind us; we had no compass or supplies, and it was obvious that if we continued on our current path, we would be out of sight of land by sunrise. These thoughts, along with many others just as frightening, raced through my mind so quickly that I was paralyzed and couldn't take any action. The boat was moving through the water at an alarming speed—being pushed by the wind—with neither the jib nor mainsail reefed, her bow plunging completely under the waves. It was a miracle she didn't capsize—Augustus had let go of the tiller, as I mentioned earlier, and I was too shaken to think about taking it over myself. Thankfully, though, she stayed upright, and gradually I regained some clarity. Still, the wind was picking up dangerously, and every time we surged forward, the waves crashed over the back and soaked us. I was so completely numb in every limb that I could hardly feel anything. Finally, I managed to gather my resolve from despair, rushing to the mainsail and letting it fly free. As expected, it shot over the bow and, getting soaked, snapped the mast off right at the base. This unfortunate event alone saved me from immediate peril. With just the jib up, I now drove along with the wind, occasionally getting hit by heavy waves, but relieved from the fear of imminent death. I took the helm and felt a bit more at ease as I realized there was still a chance for us to escape. Augustus lay unconscious at the bottom of the boat, and with the water nearly a foot deep where he had fallen, I needed to prevent him from drowning. I managed to lift him partially and keep him sitting up by looping a rope around his waist and tying it to a ringbolt on the deck of the cuddy. After arranging everything as well as I could in my cold and shaken state, I turned to God and resolved to face whatever might happen with as much strength as I could muster.

Hardly had I come to this resolution, when, suddenly, a loud and long scream or yell, as if from the throats of a thousand demons, seemed to pervade the whole atmosphere around and above the boat. Never while I live shall I forget the intense agony of terror I experienced at that moment. My hair stood erect on my head—I felt the blood congealing in my veins—my heart ceased utterly to beat, and without having once raised my eyes to learn the source of my alarm, I tumbled headlong and insensible upon the body of my fallen companion.

Hardly had I made this decision when, suddenly, a loud and prolonged scream, like the cries of a thousand demons, filled the air around and above the boat. I will never forget the sheer terror I felt at that moment. My hair stood on end—I felt the blood freezing in my veins—my heart completely stopped, and without even looking to see what was causing my fear, I collapsed, unconscious, on the body of my fallen companion.

I found myself, upon reviving, in the cabin of a large whaling-ship (the Penguin) bound to Nantucket. Several persons were standing over me, and Augustus, paler than death, was busily occupied in chafing my hands. Upon seeing me open my eyes, his exclamations of gratitude and joy excited alternate laughter and tears from the rough-looking personages who were present. The mystery of our being in existence was now soon explained. We had been run down by the whaling-ship, which was close-hauled, beating up to Nantucket with every sail she could venture to set, and consequently running almost at right angles to our own course. Several men were on the look-out forward, but did not perceive our boat until it was an impossibility to avoid coming in contact—their shouts of warning upon seeing us were what so terribly alarmed me. The huge ship, I was told, rode immediately over us with as much ease as our own little vessel would have passed over a feather, and without the least perceptible impediment to her progress. Not a scream arose from the deck of the victim—there was a slight grating sound to be heard mingling with the roar of wind and water, as the frail bark which was swallowed up rubbed for a moment along the keel of her destroyer—but this was all. Thinking our boat (which it will be remembered was dismasted) some mere shell cut adrift as useless, the captain (Captain E. T. V. Block, of New London) was for proceeding on his course without troubling himself further about the matter. Luckily, there were two of the look-out who swore positively to having seen some person at our helm, and represented the possibility of yet saving him. A discussion ensued, when Block grew angry, and, after a while, said that “it was no business of his to be eternally watching for egg-shells; that the ship should not put about for any such nonsense; and if there was a man run down, it was nobody’s fault but his own, he might drown and be dammed” or some language to that effect. Henderson, the first mate, now took the matter up, being justly indignant, as well as the whole ship’s crew, at a speech evincing so base a degree of heartless atrocity. He spoke plainly, seeing himself upheld by the men, told the captain he considered him a fit subject for the gallows, and that he would disobey his orders if he were hanged for it the moment he set his foot on shore. He strode aft, jostling Block (who turned pale and made no answer) on one side, and seizing the helm, gave the word, in a firm voice, Hard-a-lee! The men flew to their posts, and the ship went cleverly about. All this had occupied nearly five minutes, and it was supposed to be hardly within the bounds of possibility that any individual could be saved—allowing any to have been on board the boat. Yet, as the reader has seen, both Augustus and myself were rescued; and our deliverance seemed to have been brought about by two of those almost inconceivable pieces of good fortune which are attributed by the wise and pious to the special interference of Providence.

I found myself, when I woke up, in the cabin of a large whaling ship (the Penguin) headed to Nantucket. Several people were standing over me, and Augustus, looking paler than death, was busy rubbing my hands. When he saw me open my eyes, his shouts of gratitude and joy brought out alternating laughter and tears from the rough-looking folks around us. The mystery of how we came to be there was quickly explained. We had been run down by the whaling ship, which was close-hauled, making its way to Nantucket with every sail it dared to set, and was therefore moving almost perpendicular to our own course. Several men were on lookout at the front, but didn’t see our boat until it was too late to avoid a collision—their shouts of warning upon seeing us were what terrified me so much. The massive ship, I was told, glided right over us as effortlessly as our small vessel would have passed over a feather, without the slightest indication of slowing down. Not a scream was heard from the deck of the victim—only a faint grating sound mingled with the roar of wind and water as the fragile boat was dragged momentarily along the keel of her destroyer—but that was it. Thinking our boat (which you’ll remember was without its mast) was just some discarded shell, Captain E. T. V. Block from New London was ready to continue on his way without worrying anymore about it. Luckily, two of the lookouts insisted they had seen someone at our helm and suggested it might still be possible to save him. A debate broke out, and Block got angry, eventually stating that “it wasn’t his job to constantly be watching for useless shells; the ship wasn’t turning back for nonsense like that; and if someone was run down, it was no one’s fault but his own—he could drown and be damned” or something along those lines. Henderson, the first mate, then took a stand, justifiably outraged, as was the entire crew, at such a heartless remark. He spoke boldly, backed by the men, and told the captain he thought he deserved to hang, and that he would disobey his orders even if it meant facing execution once he set foot on shore. He strode to the back, bumping into Block (who turned white and didn’t respond) and seized the helm, firmly calling out, “Hard-a-lee!” The men rushed to their stations, and the ship turned skillfully around. All of this took nearly five minutes, and it was thought to be nearly impossible that anyone could still be saved—assuming there was someone in the boat. Yet, as you’ve seen, both Augustus and I were rescued; and our deliverance seemed to be due to two of those almost unbelievable strokes of luck that the wise and faithful attribute to the special intervention of Providence.

While the ship was yet in stays, the mate lowered the jolly-boat and jumped into her with the very two men, I believe, who spoke up as having seen me at the helm. They had just left the lee of the vessel (the moon still shining brightly) when she made a long and heavy roll to windward, and Henderson, at the same moment, starting up in his seat bawled out to his crew to back water. He would say nothing else—repeating his cry impatiently, back water! back water! The men put back as speedily as possible, but by this time the ship had gone round, and gotten fully under headway, although all hands on board were making great exertions to take in sail. In despite of the danger of the attempt, the mate clung to the main-chains as soon as they came within his reach. Another huge lurch now brought the starboard side of the vessel out of water nearly as far as her keel, when the cause of his anxiety was rendered obvious enough. The body of a man was seen to be affixed in the most singular manner to the smooth and shining bottom (the Penguin was coppered and copper-fastened), and beating violently against it with every movement of the hull. After several ineffectual efforts, made during the lurches of the ship, and at the imminent risk of swamping the boat I was finally disengaged from my perilous situation and taken on board—for the body proved to be my own. It appeared that one of the timber-bolts having started and broken a passage through the copper, it had arrested my progress as I passed under the ship, and fastened me in so extraordinary a manner to her bottom. The head of the bolt had made its way through the collar of the green baize jacket I had on, and through the back part of my neck, forcing itself out between two sinews and just below the right ear. I was immediately put to bed—although life seemed to be totally extinct. There was no surgeon on board. The captain, however, treated me with every attention—to make amends, I presume, in the eyes of his crew, for his atrocious behaviour in the previous portion of the adventure.

While the ship was still turning, the mate lowered the small boat and jumped in with the same two men who had spoken up about seeing me at the helm. They had just left the sheltered side of the vessel (the moon still shining brightly) when it suddenly rolled heavily to windward. At that moment, Henderson jumped up in his seat and shouted at his crew to back water. He kept repeating, back water! back water! The men paddled as fast as they could, but by then the ship had turned around and was moving quickly through the water, despite all hands on board trying hard to take in the sails. Despite the risk of the situation, the mate grabbed onto the main chains as soon as they were close enough. Another massive lurch caused the starboard side of the ship to come out of the water almost to the keel, revealing the source of his concern. A man’s body was oddly stuck to the smooth, shiny bottom of the ship (the Penguin was coppered and copper-fastened) and was thrashing against it with every movement of the hull. After several unsuccessful attempts, made while the ship lurched and at great risk of swamping the boat, I was finally freed from my dangerous position and brought on board—because the body turned out to be mine. It seemed that one of the timber bolts had come loose and created a break in the copper, pinning me as I passed underneath the ship. The bolt had gone through the collar of my green baize jacket and into the back of my neck, forcing itself out just below the right ear between two tendons. I was quickly put to bed—even though it seemed like I was completely lifeless. There was no surgeon on board, but the captain cared for me as best as he could—presumably to compensate, in the crew's eyes, for his terrible behavior during the earlier part of the ordeal.

In the meantime, Henderson had again put off from the ship, although the wind was now blowing almost a hurricane. He had not been gone many minutes when he fell in with some fragments of our boat, and shortly afterward one of the men with him asserted that he could distinguish a cry for help at intervals amid the roaring of the tempest. This induced the hardy seamen to persevere in their search for more than half an hour, although repeated signals to return were made them by Captain Block, and although every moment on the water in so frail a boat was fraught to them with the most imminent and deadly peril. Indeed, it is nearly impossible to conceive how the small jolly they were in could have escaped destruction for a single instant. She was built, however, for the whaling service, and was fitted, as I have since had reason to believe, with air-boxes, in the manner of some life-boats used on the coast of Wales.

In the meantime, Henderson had set off from the ship again, even though the wind was almost as strong as a hurricane. He hadn’t been gone long when he came across some pieces of our boat, and shortly after, one of the men with him claimed he could hear a cry for help coming through the noise of the storm. This pushed the brave sailors to keep searching for over half an hour, even though Captain Block repeatedly signaled for them to come back, and every moment they spent in that fragile boat was filled with extreme danger. It’s nearly unimaginable how the small boat they were in could have avoided being destroyed even for a second. However, it was built for whaling and was equipped, as I later learned, with air-boxes like some life-boats used along the coast of Wales.

After searching in vain for about the period of time just mentioned, it was determined to get back to the ship. They had scarcely made this resolve when a feeble cry arose from a dark object that floated rapidly by. They pursued and soon overtook it. It proved to be the entire deck of the Ariel’s cuddy. Augustus was struggling near it, apparently in the last agonies. Upon getting hold of him it was found that he was attached by a rope to the floating timber. This rope, it will be remembered, I had myself tied around his waist, and made fast to a ringbolt, for the purpose of keeping him in an upright position, and my so doing, it appeared, had been ultimately the means of preserving his life. The Ariel was slightly put together, and in going down her frame naturally went to pieces; the deck of the cuddy, as might have been expected, was lifted, by the force of the water rushing in, entirely from the main timbers, and floated (with other fragments, no doubt) to the surface—Augustus was buoyed up with it, and thus escaped a terrible death.

After searching unsuccessfully for the time mentioned, they decided to head back to the ship. They had barely made this decision when a weak cry came from a dark object that was quickly floating by. They chased after it and soon caught up. It turned out to be the entire deck of the Ariel’s cuddy. Augustus was struggling close to it, seemingly in his final moments. When they grabbed him, they discovered he was tied by a rope to the floating debris. This rope, as you might recall, I had tied around his waist and secured to a ringbolt to keep him in an upright position, and it turned out that this action had ultimately saved his life. The Ariel was built somewhat poorly and, when it sank, its structure naturally fell apart; the deck of the cuddy, as expected, was completely dislodged from the main timbers by the force of the incoming water and floated to the surface—along with other pieces, no doubt—Augustus was carried up with it, which allowed him to avoid a terrible fate.

It was more than an hour after being taken on board the Penguin before he could give any account of himself, or be made to comprehend the nature of the accident which had befallen our boat. At length he became thoroughly aroused, and spoke much of his sensations while in the water. Upon his first attaining any degree of consciousness, he found himself beneath the surface, whirling round and round with inconceivable rapidity, and with a rope wrapped in three or four folds tightly about his neck. In an instant afterward he felt himself going rapidly upward, when, his head striking violently against a hard substance, he again relapsed into insensibility. Upon once more reviving he was in fuller possession of his reason—this was still, however, in the greatest degree clouded and confused. He now knew that some accident had occurred, and that he was in the water, although his mouth was above the surface, and he could breathe with some freedom. Possibly, at this period the deck was drifting rapidly before the wind, and drawing him after it, as he floated upon his back. Of course, as long as he could have retained this position, it would have been nearly impossible that he should be drowned. Presently a surge threw him directly athwart the deck, and this post he endeavored to maintain, screaming at intervals for help. Just before he was discovered by Mr. Henderson, he had been obliged to relax his hold through exhaustion, and, falling into the sea, had given himself up for lost. During the whole period of his struggles he had not the faintest recollection of the Ariel, nor of the matters in connexion with the source of his disaster. A vague feeling of terror and despair had taken entire possession of his faculties. When he was finally picked up, every power of his mind had failed him; and, as before said, it was nearly an hour after getting on board the Penguin before he became fully aware of his condition. In regard to myself—I was resuscitated from a state bordering very nearly upon death (and after every other means had been tried in vain for three hours and a half) by vigorous friction with flannels bathed in hot oil—a proceeding suggested by Augustus. The wound in my neck, although of an ugly appearance, proved of little real consequence, and I soon recovered from its effects.

It was more than an hour after being brought on board the Penguin before he could explain what happened to him or understand the nature of the accident that had affected our boat. Eventually, he became fully alert and talked a lot about how he felt while in the water. When he first regained some consciousness, he found himself under the surface, spinning around incredibly fast, with a rope tightly wrapped around his neck in three or four loops. Instantly afterward, he felt himself shooting up rapidly, but then his head hit something hard, and he lost consciousness again. When he came to again, he had a clearer grasp of his situation, though his thoughts were still very cloudy and confused. He now understood that an accident had taken place and that he was in the water, even though his mouth was above the surface, allowing him some freedom to breathe. It’s possible that at that moment, the deck was drifting quickly before the wind, pulling him along as he floated on his back. As long as he could stay in that position, it was nearly impossible for him to drown. Soon after, a wave threw him across the deck, and he tried to hold on, shouting for help at intervals. Just before Mr. Henderson found him, he had to let go due to exhaustion and, sinking into the sea, had given up hope of being rescued. Throughout his struggles, he had no memory of the Ariel or anything related to what had caused his disaster. A vague sense of terror and despair completely overwhelmed him. When he was finally rescued, his mind was completely blank; as mentioned earlier, it was almost an hour after being on board the Penguin before he fully realized his situation. As for me—I was brought back from a state very close to death (after three and a half hours of trying everything else in vain) by vigorous rubbing with flannels soaked in hot oil—a method suggested by Augustus. The wound on my neck, although it looked pretty bad, didn’t have much real consequence, and I recovered from it quickly.

The Penguin got into port about nine o’clock in the morning, after encountering one of the severest gales ever experienced off Nantucket. Both Augustus and myself managed to appear at Mr. Barnard’s in time for breakfast—which, luckily, was somewhat late, owing to the party over night. I suppose all at the table were too much fatigued themselves to notice our jaded appearance—of course, it would not have borne a very rigid scrutiny. Schoolboys, however, can accomplish wonders in the way of deception, and I verily believe not one of our friends in Nantucket had the slightest suspicion that the terrible story told by some sailors in town of their having run down a vessel at sea and drowned some thirty or forty poor devils, had reference either to the Ariel, my companion, or myself. We two have since very frequently talked the matter over—but never without a shudder. In one of our conversations Augustus frankly confessed to me, that in his whole life he had at no time experienced so excruciating a sense of dismay, as when on board our little boat he first discovered the extent of his intoxication, and felt himself sinking beneath its influence.

The Penguin arrived at port around nine in the morning after facing one of the worst storms ever seen off Nantucket. Augustus and I managed to get to Mr. Barnard’s in time for breakfast, which was fortunately a bit late because of the party the night before. I guess everyone at the table was too tired themselves to notice how worn out we looked—though we definitely wouldn’t have passed a close inspection. Schoolboys can pull off quite a bit of deception, and I really believe none of our friends in Nantucket suspected that the awful story some sailors were telling in town about running down a ship at sea and drowning thirty or forty poor souls was about us. We've talked about it often since then—but never without feeling a chill. In one of our talks, Augustus honestly told me that in his entire life, he had never felt such overwhelming dread as when he first realized how drunk he was aboard our little boat and felt himself giving in to that feeling.

CHAPTER 2

In no affairs of mere prejudice, pro or con, do we deduce inferences with entire certainty, even from the most simple data. It might be supposed that a catastrophe such as I have just related would have effectually cooled my incipient passion for the sea. On the contrary, I never experienced a more ardent longing for the wild adventures incident to the life of a navigator than within a week after our miraculous deliverance. This short period proved amply long enough to erase from my memory the shadows, and bring out in vivid light all the pleasurably exciting points of color, all the picturesqueness, of the late perilous accident. My conversations with Augustus grew daily more frequent and more intensely full of interest. He had a manner of relating his stories of the ocean (more than one half of which I now suspect to have been sheer fabrications) well adapted to have weight with one of my enthusiastic temperament and somewhat gloomy although glowing imagination. It is strange, too, that he most strongly enlisted my feelings in behalf of the life of a seaman, when he depicted his more terrible moments of suffering and despair. For the bright side of the painting I had a limited sympathy. My visions were of shipwreck and famine; of death or captivity among barbarian hordes; of a lifetime dragged out in sorrow and tears, upon some gray and desolate rock, in an ocean unapproachable and unknown. Such visions or desires—for they amounted to desires—are common, I have since been assured, to the whole numerous race of the melancholy among men—at the time of which I speak I regarded them only as prophetic glimpses of a destiny which I felt myself in a measure bound to fulfil. Augustus thoroughly entered into my state of mind. It is probable, indeed, that our intimate communion had resulted in a partial interchange of character.

In no situation driven by personal bias, whether positive or negative, do we draw conclusions with complete certainty, even from the simplest information. One might think that a disaster like the one I just described would have completely dampened my growing passion for the sea. On the contrary, I felt a stronger desire for the wild adventures that come with being a navigator than ever, just a week after our miraculous escape. This short time was more than enough to wipe away the shadows in my memory and highlight all the exciting aspects and vivid details of the recent perilous experience. My conversations with Augustus became more frequent and increasingly interesting every day. He had a way of telling his ocean stories (more than half of which I now suspect were complete fabrications) that really resonated with someone like me, with my enthusiastic but somewhat dark and imaginative nature. It’s odd that he captured my feelings most strongly for the life of a sailor when he talked about his worst moments of suffering and despair. I had only a limited sympathy for the bright side of things. My imagination was filled with shipwrecks and starvation; visions of death or being captured by barbaric tribes; a lifetime spent in sorrow and tears on some gray, desolate rock, surrounded by an ocean that felt unreachable and unknown. These visions or desires—because they were definitely desires—are, as I’ve since learned, common among the many who share this melancholic disposition; at the time I described, I saw them only as prophetic glimpses of a destiny I felt somehow compelled to fulfill. Augustus completely understood my mindset. It’s likely that our close connection led to a sort of exchange of personalities.

About eighteen months after the period of the Ariel’s disaster, the firm of Lloyd and Vredenburgh (a house connected in some manner with the Messieurs Enderby, I believe, of Liverpool) were engaged in repairing and fitting out the brig Grampus for a whaling voyage. She was an old hulk, and scarcely seaworthy when all was done to her that could be done. I hardly know why she was chosen in preference to other good vessels belonging to the same owners—but so it was. Mr. Barnard was appointed to command her, and Augustus was going with him. While the brig was getting ready, he frequently urged upon me the excellency of the opportunity now offered for indulging my desire of travel. He found me by no means an unwilling listener—yet the matter could not be so easily arranged. My father made no direct opposition; but my mother went into hysterics at the bare mention of the design; and, more than all, my grandfather, from whom I expected much, vowed to cut me off with a shilling if I should ever broach the subject to him again. These difficulties, however, so far from abating my desire, only added fuel to the flame. I determined to go at all hazards; and, having made known my intentions to Augustus, we set about arranging a plan by which it might be accomplished. In the meantime I forbore speaking to any of my relations in regard to the voyage, and, as I busied myself ostensibly with my usual studies, it was supposed that I had abandoned the design. I have since frequently examined my conduct on this occasion with sentiments of displeasure as well as of surprise. The intense hypocrisy I made use of for the furtherance of my project—an hypocrisy pervading every word and action of my life for so long a period of time—could only have been rendered tolerable to myself by the wild and burning expectation with which I looked forward to the fulfilment of my long-cherished visions of travel.

About eighteen months after the Ariel’s disaster, the company of Lloyd and Vredenburgh (which I believe has some connection with the Enderby family from Liverpool) was busy repairing and outfitting the brig Grampus for a whaling voyage. She was an old ship and barely seaworthy even after all the work that was done on her. I’m not sure why she was chosen over other good vessels owned by the same people—but that’s how it went. Mr. Barnard was appointed to captain her, and Augustus was going with him. While the brig was being prepared, he often urged me to take advantage of the excellent opportunity to indulge my desire to travel. He found me quite eager to listen—yet arranging it wasn’t so simple. My father didn’t directly oppose it; however, my mother had hysterics at the mere mention of the idea, and, most importantly, my grandfather, from whom I expected support, threatened to cut me off with a shilling if I ever brought it up again. These obstacles, though, only fueled my desire. I decided to go at all costs; and after telling Augustus my plans, we started figuring out how to make it happen. In the meantime, I stopped mentioning the trip to any of my relatives, and while I pretended to focus on my studies, everyone thought I had given up the idea. I have often reflected on my actions during this time with both displeasure and surprise. The intense hypocrisy I practiced to push my agenda—hypocrisy that colored every word and action of my life for so long—could only have been bearable to me because of the wild and passionate anticipation I felt about finally fulfilling my long-held dreams of travel.

In pursuance of my scheme of deception, I was necessarily obliged to leave much to the management of Augustus, who was employed for the greater part of every day on board the Grampus, attending to some arrangements for his father in the cabin and cabin hold. At night, however, we were sure to have a conference and talk over our hopes. After nearly a month passed in this manner, without our hitting upon any plan we thought likely to succeed, he told me at last that he had determined upon everything necessary. I had a relation living in New Bedford, a Mr. Ross, at whose house I was in the habit of spending occasionally two or three weeks at a time. The brig was to sail about the middle of June (June, 1827), and it was agreed that, a day or two before her putting to sea, my father was to receive a note, as usual, from Mr. Ross, asking me to come over and spend a fortnight with Robert and Emmet (his sons). Augustus charged himself with the inditing of this note and getting it delivered. Having set out as supposed, for New Bedford, I was then to report myself to my companion, who would contrive a hiding-place for me in the Grampus. This hiding-place, he assured me, would be rendered sufficiently comfortable for a residence of many days, during which I was not to make my appearance. When the brig had proceeded so far on her course as to make any turning back a matter out of question, I should then, he said, be formally installed in all the comforts of the cabin; and as to his father, he would only laugh heartily at the joke. Vessels enough would be met with by which a letter might be sent home explaining the adventure to my parents.

In following my plan to deceive, I had to rely a lot on Augustus, who spent most of his days on board the Grampus, taking care of some tasks for his father in the cabin and hold. However, at night, we always met to discuss our hopes. After nearly a month of this without finding a plan we thought would work, he finally told me he had figured everything out. I had a relative in New Bedford, a Mr. Ross, where I would often stay for two or three weeks at a time. The brig was set to sail around mid-June (June 1827), and we agreed that a day or two before it left, my father would get a note from Mr. Ross, inviting me to come over and spend a fortnight with his sons, Robert and Emmet. Augustus took on the task of writing this note and making sure it got delivered. After I left for New Bedford as planned, I would then meet up with Augustus, who would find a hiding spot for me on the Grampus. He promised me that this hiding spot would be comfortable enough for several days while I stayed out of sight. Once the brig was far enough along its route that turning back wasn’t an option, I would then be fully welcomed into the cabin, and as for his father, he would just laugh heartily at the joke. There were plenty of ships that I could use to send a letter home explaining the whole adventure to my parents.

The middle of June at length arrived, and every thing had been matured. The note was written and delivered, and on a Monday morning I left the house for the New Bedford packet, as supposed. I went, however, straight to Augustus, who was waiting for me at the corner of a street. It had been our original plan that I should keep out of the way until dark, and then slip on board the brig; but, as there was now a thick fog in our favor, it was agreed to lose no time in secreting me. Augustus led the way to the wharf, and I followed at a little distance, enveloped in a thick seaman’s cloak, which he had brought with him, so that my person might not be easily recognized. Just as we turned the second corner, after passing Mr. Edmund’s well, who should appear, standing right in front of me, and looking me full in the face, but old Mr. Peterson, my grandfather. “Why, bless my soul, Gordon,” said he, after a long pause, “why, why,—whose dirty cloak is that you have on?” “Sir!” I replied, assuming, as well as I could, in the exigency of the moment, an air of offended surprise, and talking in the gruffest of all imaginable tones—“sir! you are a sum’mat mistaken—my name, in the first place, bee’nt nothing at all like Goddin, and I’d want you for to know better, you blackguard, than to call my new obercoat a darty one.” For my life I could hardly refrain from screaming with laughter at the odd manner in which the old gentleman received this handsome rebuke. He started back two or three steps, turned first pale and then excessively red, threw up his spectacles, then, putting them down, ran full tilt at me, with his umbrella uplifted. He stopped short, however, in his career, as if struck with a sudden recollection; and presently, turning round, hobbled off down the street, shaking all the while with rage, and muttering between his teeth: “Won’t do—new glasses—thought it was Gordon—d—d good-for-nothing salt water Long Tom.”

The middle of June finally arrived, and everything was set. The note was written and delivered, and on a Monday morning, I left the house for what looked like the New Bedford packet. However, I went straight to Augustus, who was waiting for me at the corner of a street. Our original plan was for me to stay out of sight until dark and then sneak aboard the brig, but since there was now a thick fog in our favor, we decided to act quickly. Augustus led the way to the wharf while I followed a short distance behind, wrapped in a thick seaman’s cloak he had brought along, so I wouldn't be easily recognized. Just as we turned the second corner, after passing Mr. Edmund’s well, who should appear directly in front of me, looking me in the face, but my grandfather, old Mr. Peterson. “Well, bless my soul, Gordon,” he said after a long pause, “why, why—whose dirty cloak is that you have on?” “Sir!” I replied, trying my best to sound offended and adopting the gruffest tone I could manage—“sir! you are somewhat mistaken—my name is nothing like Gordon, and I’d expect you to know better, you scoundrel, than to call my new overcoat dirty.” I could hardly hold back my laughter at the old man's reaction to my bold remark. He took a few steps back, first going pale and then bright red, adjusted his spectacles, and then, putting them down, charged at me with his umbrella raised. However, he suddenly stopped as if struck by a realization and quickly turned around, hobbling away down the street, trembling with anger and muttering under his breath: “Won’t do—new glasses—thought it was Gordon—damn good-for-nothing saltwater Long Tom.”

After this narrow escape we proceeded with greater caution, and arrived at our point of destination in safety. There were only one or two of the hands on board, and these were busy forward, doing something to the forecastle combings. Captain Barnard, we knew very well, was engaged at Lloyd and Vredenburgh’s, and would remain there until late in the evening, so we had little to apprehend on his account. Augustus went first up the vessel’s side, and in a short while I followed him, without being noticed by the men at work. We proceeded at once into the cabin, and found no person there. It was fitted up in the most comfortable style—a thing somewhat unusual in a whaling-vessel. There were four very excellent staterooms, with wide and convenient berths. There was also a large stove, I took notice, and a remarkably thick and valuable carpet covering the floor of both the cabin and staterooms. The ceiling was full seven feet high, and, in short, every thing appeared of a more roomy and agreeable nature than I had anticipated. Augustus, however, would allow me but little time for observation, insisting upon the necessity of my concealing myself as soon as possible. He led the way into his own stateroom, which was on the starboard side of the brig, and next to the bulkheads. Upon entering, he closed the door and bolted it. I thought I had never seen a nicer little room than the one in which I now found myself. It was about ten feet long, and had only one berth, which, as I said before, was wide and convenient. In that portion of the closet nearest the bulkheads there was a space of four feet square, containing a table, a chair, and a set of hanging shelves full of books, chiefly books of voyages and travels. There were many other little comforts in the room, among which I ought not to forget a kind of safe or refrigerator, in which Augustus pointed out to me a host of delicacies, both in the eating and drinking department.

After this close call, we moved with more caution and safely reached our destination. Only one or two crew members were on board, busy working on something at the front of the ship. We knew Captain Barnard was at Lloyd and Vredenburgh’s and would be there until late, so we didn’t have much to worry about. Augustus was the first to climb up the side of the boat, and I followed soon after without attracting attention from the men working. We went straight into the cabin and found it empty. It was set up in a very comfortable style—a bit unusual for a whaling ship. There were four excellent staterooms with wide, convenient berths. I also noticed a large stove and a very thick, valuable carpet covering both the cabin and stateroom floors. The ceiling was a full seven feet high, and overall, everything seemed more spacious and pleasant than I had expected. However, Augustus didn’t give me much time to look around, insisting that I hide as soon as possible. He led me into his stateroom on the right side of the ship, next to the bulkheads. Once inside, he closed and bolted the door. I thought I had never seen a nicer little room than the one I was in. It was about ten feet long and had just one wide, comfortable berth. In the part of the closet nearest the bulkheads, there was a space four feet square with a table, a chair, and a set of hanging shelves filled with books, mainly about voyages and travels. The room also had several little comforts, including a kind of safe or refrigerator where Augustus showed me a variety of delicacies, both food and drinks.

He now pressed with his knuckles upon a certain spot of the carpet in one corner of the space just mentioned, letting me know that a portion of the flooring, about sixteen inches square, had been neatly cut out and again adjusted. As he pressed, this portion rose up at one end sufficiently to allow the passage of his finger beneath. In this manner he raised the mouth of the trap (to which the carpet was still fastened by tacks), and I found that it led into the after hold. He next lit a small taper by means of a phosphorous match, and, placing the light in a dark lantern, descended with it through the opening, bidding me follow. I did so, and he then pulled the cover upon the hole, by means of a nail driven into the under side—the carpet, of course, resuming its original position on the floor of the stateroom, and all traces of the aperture being concealed.

He now pressed his knuckles on a spot of the carpet in one corner of the area we just talked about, indicating that a section of the flooring, about sixteen inches square, had been neatly cut out and put back. As he pressed, this section lifted slightly at one end, enough to let his finger go underneath. In this way, he raised the flap of the trap (which was still attached to the carpet with tacks), and I saw that it led down into the hold. He then lit a small candle with a phosphorus match, put the light in a dark lantern, and climbed down through the opening, urging me to follow. I did, and then he pulled the cover over the hole using a nail driven into the underside—resulting in the carpet returning to its original position on the floor of the stateroom, completely hiding any signs of the opening.

The taper gave out so feeble a ray that it was with the greatest difficulty I could grope my way through the confused mass of lumber among which I now found myself. By degrees, however, my eyes became accustomed to the gloom, and I proceeded with less trouble, holding on to the skirts of my friend’s coat. He brought me, at length, after creeping and winding through innumerable narrow passages, to an iron-bound box, such as is used sometimes for packing fine earthenware. It was nearly four feet high, and full six long, but very narrow. Two large empty oil-casks lay on the top of it, and above these, again, a vast quantity of straw matting, piled up as high as the floor of the cabin. In every other direction around was wedged as closely as possible, even up to the ceiling, a complete chaos of almost every species of ship-furniture, together with a heterogeneous medley of crates, hampers, barrels, and bales, so that it seemed a matter no less than miraculous that we had discovered any passage at all to the box. I afterward found that Augustus had purposely arranged the stowage in this hold with a view to affording me a thorough concealment, having had only one assistant in the labour, a man not going out in the brig.

The candle gave off such a weak light that it was really hard for me to feel my way through the jumbled pile of lumber I found myself in. Gradually, though, my eyes adjusted to the darkness, and I managed to move more easily, holding on to my friend's coat. Finally, after crawling and twisting through countless narrow paths, he led me to an iron-bound box, similar to those used for packing delicate pottery. It stood nearly four feet tall and was about six feet long, but very narrow. Two large empty oil barrels sat on top of it, and above those was a huge pile of straw matting, stacked all the way up to the cabin floor. In every other direction, there was a complete mess of all kinds of ship furniture, along with a random mix of crates, hampers, barrels, and bales, making it seem almost miraculous that we had found any path at all to the box. Later, I discovered that Augustus had deliberately arranged the storage in this hold to provide me with complete concealment, and he had only one helper in the task, a man who wasn’t going out on the brig.

My companion now showed me that one of the ends of the box could be removed at pleasure. He slipped it aside and displayed the interior, at which I was excessively amused. A mattress from one of the cabin berths covered the whole of its bottom, and it contained almost every article of mere comfort which could be crowded into so small a space, allowing me, at the same time, sufficient room for my accommodation, either in a sitting position or lying at full length. Among other things, there were some books, pen, ink, and paper, three blankets, a large jug full of water, a keg of sea-biscuit, three or four immense Bologna sausages, an enormous ham, a cold leg of roast mutton, and half a dozen bottles of cordials and liqueurs. I proceeded immediately to take possession of my little apartment, and this with feelings of higher satisfaction, I am sure, than any monarch ever experienced upon entering a new palace. Augustus now pointed out to me the method of fastening the open end of the box, and then, holding the taper close to the deck, showed me a piece of dark whipcord lying along it. This, he said, extended from my hiding-place throughout all the necessary windings among the lumber, to a nail which was driven into the deck of the hold, immediately beneath the trap-door leading into his stateroom. By means of this cord I should be enabled readily to trace my way out without his guidance, provided any unlooked-for accident should render such a step necessary. He now took his departure, leaving with me the lantern, together with a copious supply of tapers and phosphorous, and promising to pay me a visit as often as he could contrive to do so without observation. This was on the seventeenth of June.

My companion then showed me that one end of the box could be easily removed. He slid it aside and revealed the inside, which I found incredibly amusing. The whole bottom was covered with a mattress from one of the cabin berths, and it held almost every comfort you could fit into such a small space, giving me enough room to either sit or lie down fully. Among other things, there were some books, pen, ink, and paper, three blankets, a big jug of water, a keg of sea-biscuit, three or four huge Bologna sausages, a massive ham, a cold leg of roast mutton, and half a dozen bottles of cordials and liqueurs. I immediately settled into my little apartment, feeling more satisfied than any monarch might feel when entering a new palace. Augustus then showed me how to secure the open end of the box and, holding the candle close to the deck, pointed out a piece of dark whipcord lying along it. He explained that this cord extended from my hiding spot through all the necessary twists among the clutter to a nail driven into the deck of the hold, right beneath the trapdoor leading into his stateroom. This cord would allow me to easily find my way out without his help, in case something unexpected made that necessary. He then left, giving me the lantern along with plenty of candles and phosphorus, and promised to visit me as often as he could without being noticed. This was on June 17th.

I remained three days and nights (as nearly as I could guess) in my hiding-place without getting out of it at all, except twice for the purpose of stretching my limbs by standing erect between two crates just opposite the opening. During the whole period I saw nothing of Augustus; but this occasioned me little uneasiness, as I knew the brig was expected to put to sea every hour, and in the bustle he would not easily find opportunities of coming down to me. At length I heard the trap open and shut, and presently he called in a low voice, asking if all was well, and if there was any thing I wanted. “Nothing,” I replied; “I am as comfortable as can be; when will the brig sail?” “She will be under weigh in less than half an hour,” he answered. “I came to let you know, and for fear you should be uneasy at my absence. I shall not have a chance of coming down again for some time—perhaps for three or four days more. All is going on right aboveboard. After I go up and close the trap, do you creep along by the whipcord to where the nail is driven in. You will find my watch there—it may be useful to you, as you have no daylight to keep time by. I suppose you can’t tell how long you have been buried—only three days—this is the twentieth. I would bring the watch to your box, but am afraid of being missed.” With this he went up.

I stayed in my hiding spot for about three days and nights without leaving, except twice to stretch my legs by standing up between two crates right by the opening. During that time, I didn’t see anything of Augustus, but it didn’t worry me much since I knew the ship was expected to set sail any hour, and with all the activity, he wouldn’t easily get a chance to check on me. Finally, I heard the trap door open and close, and he called out softly, asking if everything was okay and if I needed anything. “No,” I said; “I’m as comfortable as I can be; when will the ship sail?” “She’ll be ready to go in less than half an hour,” he replied. “I just came to let you know and to make sure you weren’t worried about my absence. I won’t have a chance to come down again for a while—maybe three or four more days. Everything’s going smoothly up above. After I go back up and close the trap, you should crawl along by the whipcord to where the nail is driven in. You’ll find my watch there—it might be useful since you don’t have any daylight to keep track of time. I assume you can’t tell how long you’ve been stuck—only three days—today is the twentieth. I would bring the watch to your box, but I’m afraid I’d be noticed.” With that, he went back up.

In about an hour after he had gone I distinctly felt the brig in motion, and congratulated myself upon having at length fairly commenced a voyage. Satisfied with this idea, I determined to make my mind as easy as possible, and await the course of events until I should be permitted to exchange the box for the more roomy, although hardly more comfortable, accommodations of the cabin. My first care was to get the watch. Leaving the taper burning, I groped along in the dark, following the cord through windings innumerable, in some of which I discovered that, after toiling a long distance, I was brought back within a foot or two of a former position. At length I reached the nail, and securing the object of my journey, returned with it in safety. I now looked over the books which had been so thoughtfully provided, and selected the expedition of Lewis and Clarke to the mouth of the Columbia. With this I amused myself for some time, when, growing sleepy, I extinguished the light with great care, and soon fell into a sound slumber.

About an hour after he left, I could clearly feel the brig moving, and I congratulated myself on finally starting my voyage. Feeling pleased with this thought, I decided to relax and wait for the chance to trade the box for the more spacious, although not necessarily more comfortable, accommodations of the cabin. My first priority was to get the watch. Leaving the candle burning, I stumbled around in the dark, following the cord through countless twists and turns, realizing that after a long struggle, I often ended up just a foot or two away from where I started. Finally, I reached the nail, grabbed what I came for, and made it back safely. I then looked through the books that had been thoughtfully provided and picked Lewis and Clark's expedition to the mouth of the Columbia. I entertained myself with that for a while, but when I started to feel sleepy, I carefully put out the light and quickly fell into a deep sleep.

Upon awakening I felt strangely confused in mind, and some time elapsed before I could bring to recollection all the various circumstances of my situation. By degrees, however, I remembered all. Striking a light, I looked at the watch; but it was run down, and there were, consequently, no means of determining how long I slept. My limbs were greatly cramped, and I was forced to relieve them by standing between the crates. Presently feeling an almost ravenous appetite, I bethought myself of the cold mutton, some of which I had eaten just before going to sleep, and found excellent. What was my astonishment in discovering it to be in a state of absolute putrefaction! This circumstance occasioned me great disquietude; for, connecting it with the disorder of mind I experienced upon awakening, I began to suppose that I must have slept for an inordinately long period of time. The close atmosphere of the hold might have had something to do with this, and might, in the end, be productive of the most serious results. My head ached excessively; I fancied that I drew every breath with difficulty; and, in short, I was oppressed with a multitude of gloomy feelings. Still I could not venture to make any disturbance by opening the trap or otherwise, and, having wound up the watch, contented myself as well as possible.

When I woke up, I felt really confused, and it took me a while to piece together everything about my situation. Gradually, I remembered everything. I struck a match to light my surroundings and checked my watch, but it had stopped, so I couldn’t tell how long I had been asleep. My limbs were cramped, so I had to stand up between the crates to stretch. Soon, I felt super hungry and thought about the cold mutton I had eaten just before sleeping, which was really good. To my surprise, I found it was completely rotten! This freaked me out because, combined with the confusion I felt when I woke up, it made me think I must have slept for way too long. The stuffy air in the hold might have contributed to how I felt and could lead to serious consequences. My head hurt a lot; I felt like I struggled to breathe; overall, I was overwhelmed with a bunch of dark feelings. Still, I didn’t dare make any noise by opening the trapdoor or anything, and after winding my watch, I tried to keep calm as best as I could.

Throughout the whole of the next tedious twenty-four hours no person came to my relief, and I could not help accusing Augustus of the grossest inattention. What alarmed me chiefly was, that the water in my jug was reduced to about half a pint, and I was suffering much from thirst, having eaten freely of the Bologna sausages after the loss of my mutton. I became very uneasy, and could no longer take any interest in my books. I was overpowered, too, with a desire to sleep, yet trembled at the thought of indulging it, lest there might exist some pernicious influence, like that of burning charcoal, in the confined air of the hold. In the meantime the roll of the brig told me that we were far in the main ocean, and a dull humming sound, which reached my ears as if from an immense distance, convinced me no ordinary gale was blowing. I could not imagine a reason for the absence of Augustus. We were surely far enough advanced on our voyage to allow of my going up. Some accident might have happened to him—but I could think of none which would account for his suffering me to remain so long a prisoner, except, indeed, his having suddenly died or fallen overboard, and upon this idea I could not dwell with any degree of patience. It was possible that we had been baffled by head winds, and were still in the near vicinity of Nantucket. This notion, however, I was forced to abandon; for such being the case, the brig must have frequently gone about; and I was entirely satisfied, from her continual inclination to the larboard, that she had been sailing all along with a steady breeze on her starboard quarter. Besides, granting that we were still in the neighborhood of the island, why should not Augustus have visited me and informed me of the circumstance? Pondering in this manner upon the difficulties of my solitary and cheerless condition, I resolved to wait yet another twenty-four hours, when, if no relief were obtained, I would make my way to the trap, and endeavour either to hold a parley with my friend, or get at least a little fresh air through the opening, and a further supply of water from the stateroom. While occupied with this thought, however, I fell in spite of every exertion to the contrary, into a state of profound sleep, or rather stupor. My dreams were of the most terrific description. Every species of calamity and horror befell me. Among other miseries I was smothered to death between huge pillows, by demons of the most ghastly and ferocious aspect. Immense serpents held me in their embrace, and looked earnestly in my face with their fearfully shining eyes. Then deserts, limitless, and of the most forlorn and awe-inspiring character, spread themselves out before me. Immensely tall trunks of trees, gray and leafless, rose up in endless succession as far as the eye could reach. Their roots were concealed in wide-spreading morasses, whose dreary water lay intensely black, still, and altogether terrible, beneath. And the strange trees seemed endowed with a human vitality, and waving to and fro their skeleton arms, were crying to the silent waters for mercy, in the shrill and piercing accents of the most acute agony and despair. The scene changed; and I stood, naked and alone, amidst the burning sand-plains of Sahara. At my feet lay crouched a fierce lion of the tropics. Suddenly his wild eyes opened and fell upon me. With a conclusive bound he sprang to his feet, and laid bare his horrible teeth. In another instant there burst from his red throat a roar like the thunder of the firmament, and I fell impetuously to the earth. Stifling in a paroxysm of terror, I at last found myself partially awake. My dream, then, was not all a dream. Now, at least, I was in possession of my senses. The paws of some huge and real monster were pressing heavily upon my bosom—his hot breath was in my ear—and his white and ghastly fangs were gleaming upon me through the gloom.

Throughout the tedious twenty-four hours that followed, no one came to help me, and I couldn't help but blame Augustus for his complete lack of attention. What worried me the most was that the water in my jug was down to about half a pint, and I was extremely thirsty after eating a lot of Bologna sausages once I lost my mutton. I became very anxious and could no longer focus on my books. I was also overwhelmed by a desire to sleep, but I was scared to give in to it, fearing there might be some harmful substance, like burning charcoal, in the stuffy air of the hold. Meanwhile, the rolling of the brig indicated we were far out in the open ocean, and the dull humming sound I heard seemed to suggest that no ordinary storm was hitting us. I couldn't figure out why Augustus was absent. We had to be far enough along in our journey to allow me to come up. Something could have happened to him—but nothing I could think of seemed reasonable enough to explain why he would let me stay locked up for so long, unless he had suddenly died or fallen overboard, and I couldn't bear to dwell on that thought. It was possible that we were stuck with headwinds and still close to Nantucket. However, I had to dismiss that idea; if that were the case, the brig would have had to turn around frequently, and I was certain from its constant lean to the left that it had been sailing steadily with a steady wind at its right side. Plus, if we were still near the island, why hadn’t Augustus come to see me and let me know? As I pondered the challenges of my lonely and dismal situation, I decided to wait another twenty-four hours; if I didn’t get any help by then, I would find a way to the trap and try to either talk to my friend or at least get some fresh air through the opening and a little more water from the stateroom. While I was lost in these thoughts, though, I eventually fell into a deep sleep, or more like a stupor, despite my best efforts to stay awake. My dreams were terrifying. I faced every kind of disaster and horror. Among other miseries, I was smothered to death between huge pillows by ghastly and fierce demons. Massive serpents coiled around me, staring into my face with their terrifyingly bright eyes. Then endless, desolate deserts stretched out before me. Towering trunks of gray, leafless trees rose endlessly as far as I could see. Their roots were hidden in wide, muddy swamps, and the dreary water lay dark, still, and utterly menacing below. The bizarre trees seemed to have a human vitality, waving their bony arms, crying out to the silent waters for mercy in piercing, agonizing screams. The scene shifted, and I found myself naked and alone in the scorching sands of the Sahara. At my feet, a fierce tropical lion crouched. Suddenly, his wild eyes opened and locked onto me. With a powerful leap, he sprang to his feet, exposing his terrible teeth. In the next moment, a roar erupted from his red throat like the thunder of the heavens, and I fell helplessly to the ground. Choking in a fit of fear, I slowly realized I was partially awake. My nightmare wasn’t just a dream. Now, at least, I had my senses back. The paws of some massive, real monster were pressing heavily against my chest—its hot breath was in my ear—and its white, horrifying fangs were shining at me in the dark.

Had a thousand lives hung upon the movement of a limb or the utterance of a syllable, I could have neither stirred nor spoken. The beast, whatever it was, retained his position without attempting any immediate violence, while I lay in an utterly helpless, and, I fancied, a dying condition beneath him. I felt that my powers of body and mind were fast leaving me—in a word, that I was perishing, and perishing of sheer fright. My brain swam—I grew deadly sick—my vision failed—even the glaring eyeballs above me grew dim. Making a last strong effort, I at length breathed a faint ejaculation to God, and resigned myself to die. The sound of my voice seemed to arouse all the latent fury of the animal. He precipitated himself at full length upon my body; but what was my astonishment, when, with a long and low whine, he commenced licking my face and hands with the greatest eagerness, and with the most extravagant demonstration of affection and joy! I was bewildered, utterly lost in amazement—but I could not forget the peculiar whine of my Newfoundland dog Tiger, and the odd manner of his caresses I well knew. It was he. I experienced a sudden rush of blood to my temples—a giddy and overpowering sense of deliverance and reanimation. I rose hurriedly from the mattress upon which I had been lying, and, throwing myself upon the neck of my faithful follower and friend, relieved the long oppression of my bosom in a flood of the most passionate tears.

If a thousand lives had depended on my moving a limb or saying a word, I wouldn’t have been able to do either. The creature, whatever it was, stayed in place without trying to attack me, while I lay completely helpless and, I thought, dying beneath it. I felt my body and mind slipping away—I was perishing, and it was purely from fear. My mind was spinning—I felt sick—my vision failed—even the glaring eyes above me grew dim. Summoning a final burst of strength, I whispered a faint prayer to God and resigned myself to death. The sound of my voice seemed to wake all the anger in the creature. It leaped onto my body; but to my astonishment, it began licking my face and hands with intense eagerness, displaying extraordinary affection and joy! I was dazed, completely overwhelmed with amazement—but I couldn't shake the sound of my Newfoundland dog Tiger's peculiar whine and his familiar way of showing affection. It was him. A rush of adrenaline flooded my head—a dizzying and overwhelming feeling of relief and revival. I quickly got up from the mattress where I had been lying and threw myself around the neck of my loyal companion and friend, letting out a torrent of passionate tears to release the long-held weight on my chest.

As upon a former occasion my conceptions were in a state of the greatest indistinctness and confusion after leaving the mattress. For a long time I found it nearly impossible to connect any ideas; but, by very slow degrees, my thinking faculties returned, and I again called to memory the several incidents of my condition. For the presence of Tiger I tried in vain to account; and after busying myself with a thousand different conjectures respecting him, was forced to content myself with rejoicing that he was with me to share my dreary solitude, and render me comfort by his caresses. Most people love their dogs—but for Tiger I had an affection far more ardent than common; and never, certainly, did any creature more truly deserve it. For seven years he had been my inseparable companion, and in a multitude of instances had given evidence of all the noble qualities for which we value the animal. I had rescued him, when a puppy, from the clutches of a malignant little villain in Nantucket who was leading him, with a rope around his neck, to the water; and the grown dog repaid the obligation, about three years afterward, by saving me from the bludgeon of a street robber.

After I got off the mattress, my thoughts were completely jumbled and unclear, just like before. For a long time, I struggled to connect any ideas; but slowly, my thinking started to come back, and I remembered the different events related to my situation. I tried to figure out why Tiger was there with me, and after worrying over countless theories about him, I had to settle for being grateful that he was there to share my lonely moments and comfort me with his affection. Most people love their dogs, but my bond with Tiger was much deeper. No creature could deserve my love more than he did. For seven years, he was my constant companion, and time and again, he showed me the remarkable qualities we cherish in animals. I rescued him when he was a puppy from a nasty little kid in Nantucket who was dragging him to the water with a rope around his neck, and three years later, that loyal dog returned the favor by saving me from a street mugger.

Getting now hold of the watch, I found, upon applying it to my ear, that it had again run down; but at this I was not at all surprised, being convinced, from the peculiar state of my feelings, that I had slept, as before, for a very long period of time, how long, it was of course impossible to say. I was burning up with fever, and my thirst was almost intolerable. I felt about the box for my little remaining supply of water, for I had no light, the taper having burnt to the socket of the lantern, and the phosphorus-box not coming readily to hand. Upon finding the jug, however, I discovered it to be empty—Tiger, no doubt, having been tempted to drink it, as well as to devour the remnant of mutton, the bone of which lay, well picked, by the opening of the box. The spoiled meat I could well spare, but my heart sank as I thought of the water. I was feeble in the extreme—so much so that I shook all over, as with an ague, at the slightest movement or exertion. To add to my troubles, the brig was pitching and rolling with great violence, and the oil-casks which lay upon my box were in momentary danger of falling down, so as to block up the only way of ingress or egress. I felt, also, terrible sufferings from sea-sickness. These considerations determined me to make my way, at all hazards, to the trap, and obtain immediate relief, before I should be incapacitated from doing so altogether. Having come to this resolve, I again felt about for the phosphorus-box and tapers. The former I found after some little trouble; but, not discovering the tapers as soon as I had expected (for I remembered very nearly the spot in which I had placed them), I gave up the search for the present, and bidding Tiger lie quiet, began at once my journey toward the trap.

Grabbing the watch, I held it to my ear and realized it had stopped again; this didn't surprise me at all. I could tell from how I was feeling that I'd slept for a long time again, but I couldn't say exactly how long. I was on fire with fever, and my thirst was almost unbearable. I searched the box for the little bit of water I had left since I had no light—the candle had burned down to the base of the lantern, and I couldn’t find the phosphorus box easily. When I finally found the jug, I discovered it was empty—Tiger must have been tempted to drink it along with finishing off the leftover mutton, the bone of which was lying picked clean by the box's opening. I could manage without the spoiled meat, but the thought of no water made my heart sink. I felt extremely weak—so weak that I shook like I had chills at the slightest movement. On top of that, the brig was pitching and rolling violently, and the oil barrels stacked on my box were at risk of falling and blocking my only escape path. I was also dealing with terrible seasickness. These thoughts pushed me to decide to make my way, no matter what, to the trap and get immediate relief before I couldn’t do it at all. After coming to this decision, I looked for the phosphorus box and the candles again. I found the phosphorus box after a bit of searching, but I couldn't locate the candles as quickly as I thought I would (I remembered pretty much where I’d put them), so I gave up on that for now. Telling Tiger to lie still, I started my journey toward the trap.

In this attempt my great feebleness became more than ever apparent. It was with the utmost difficulty I could crawl along at all, and very frequently my limbs sank suddenly from beneath me; when, falling prostrate on my face, I would remain for some minutes in a state bordering on insensibility. Still I struggled forward by slow degrees, dreading every moment that I should swoon amid the narrow and intricate windings of the lumber, in which event I had nothing but death to expect as the result. At length, upon making a push forward with all the energy I could command, I struck my forehead violently against the sharp corner of an iron-bound crate. The accident only stunned me for a few moments; but I found, to my inexpressible grief, that the quick and violent roll of the vessel had thrown the crate entirely across my path, so as effectually to block up the passage. With my utmost exertions I could not move it a single inch from its position, it being closely wedged in among the surrounding boxes and ship-furniture. It became necessary, therefore, enfeebled as I was, either to leave the guidance of the whipcord and seek out a new passage, or to climb over the obstacle, and resume the path on the other side. The former alternative presented too many difficulties and dangers to be thought of without a shudder. In my present weak state of both mind and body, I should infallibly lose my way if I attempted it, and perish miserably amid the dismal and disgusting labyrinths of the hold. I proceeded, therefore, without hesitation, to summon up all my remaining strength and fortitude, and endeavour, as I best might, to clamber over the crate.

In this attempt, my weakness became more obvious than ever. I could barely crawl at all, and often my limbs would suddenly give out beneath me; when that happened, I'd fall flat on my face and stay there for several minutes, almost losing consciousness. Still, I pushed forward slowly, fearing every moment that I'd faint in the narrow, complicated twists of the cargo, which would only lead to death. Eventually, as I made a strong effort to move ahead with all the energy I could muster, I hit my forehead hard against the sharp corner of an iron-bound crate. The accident only dazed me for a moment, but to my overwhelming despair, I realized that the violent rolling of the ship had knocked the crate completely across my path, effectively blocking my way. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't budge it even an inch since it was wedged tightly among the other boxes and ship furniture. So, despite my weakness, I had to decide to either leave the whipcord behind and find another way or climb over the obstacle and continue on the other side. The first option seemed too filled with challenges and dangers to consider without feeling terrified. In my current weak state of mind and body, I would definitely lose my way and die miserably in the nightmarish maze of the hold if I tried that. Therefore, I resolved without hesitation to gather all my remaining strength and courage and do my best to climb over the crate.

Upon standing erect, with this end in view, I found the undertaking even a more serious task than my fears had led me to imagine. On each side of the narrow passage arose a complete wall of various heavy lumber, which the least blunder on my part might be the means of bringing down upon my head; or, if this accident did not occur, the path might be effectually blocked up against my return by the descending mass, as it was in front by the obstacle there. The crate itself was a long and unwieldy box, upon which no foothold could be obtained. In vain I attempted, by every means in my power, to reach the top, with the hope of being thus enabled to draw myself up. Had I succeeded in reaching it, it is certain that my strength would have proved utterly inadequate to the task of getting over, and it was better in every respect that I failed. At length, in a desperate effort to force the crate from its ground, I felt a strong vibration in the side next me. I thrust my hand eagerly to the edge of the planks, and found that a very large one was loose. With my pocket-knife, which, luckily, I had with me, I succeeded, after great labour, in prying it entirely off; and getting it through the aperture, discovered, to my exceeding joy, that there were no boards on the opposite side—in other words, that the top was wanting, it being the bottom through which I had forced my way. I now met with no important difficulty in proceeding along the line until I finally reached the nail. With a beating heart I stood erect, and with a gentle touch pressed against the cover of the trap. It did not rise as soon as I had expected, and I pressed it with somewhat more determination, still dreading lest some other person than Augustus might be in his state-room. The door, however, to my astonishment, remained steady, and I became somewhat uneasy, for I knew that it had formerly required but little or no effort to remove it. I pushed it strongly—it was nevertheless firm: with all my strength—it still did not give way: with rage, with fury, with despair—it set at defiance my utmost efforts; and it was evident, from the unyielding nature of the resistance, that the hole had either been discovered and effectually nailed up, or that some immense weight had been placed upon it, which it was useless to think of removing.

As I stood up straight, with this goal in mind, I realized that the task was even more serious than I had feared. On either side of the narrow passage was a complete wall of heavy lumber, and any mistake I made could cause it to fall on me. If that didn’t happen, the falling mass could block my way back just as it blocked my passage ahead. The crate itself was a long, clumsy box that offered no way to get a foothold. I tried everything I could think of to reach the top, hoping that would allow me to pull myself up. If I had managed to get there, though, I would have found my strength completely insufficient to climb over, so it was probably better that I failed. Finally, in a desperate attempt to move the crate, I felt a strong vibration on the side next to me. I quickly reached for the edge of the planks and discovered that a very large one was loose. With my pocket knife, which I luckily had with me, I worked hard to pry it off completely; once I got it through the opening, I was overjoyed to find that there were no boards on the other side—in other words, the top was missing, and I had come in through the bottom. I encountered no major difficulties as I continued along the path until I finally reached the nail. My heart racing, I stood up straight and gently pushed against the trapdoor. It didn’t lift as quickly as I had hoped, so I pressed down with a bit more force, still worried that someone other than Augustus might be in his room. To my surprise, the door remained still, which made me uneasy because I knew it had previously taken little effort to open. I pushed against it strongly, but it wouldn’t budge; I used all my strength, yet it still held firm. Frustration, anger, and despair boiled up inside me as it resisted my every effort. It was evident from the stubborn resistance that the hole had either been discovered and effectively nailed shut, or something heavy had been placed on it that would be pointless to try to remove.

My sensations were those of extreme horror and dismay. In vain I attempted to reason on the probable cause of my being thus entombed. I could summon up no connected chain of reflection, and, sinking on the floor, gave way, unresistingly, to the most gloomy imaginings, in which the dreadful deaths of thirst, famine, suffocation, and premature interment crowded upon me as the prominent disasters to be encountered. At length there returned to me some portion of presence of mind. I arose, and felt with my fingers for the seams or cracks of the aperture. Having found them, I examined them closely to ascertain if they emitted any light from the state-room; but none was visible. I then forced the blade of my pen-knife through them, until I met with some hard obstacle. Scraping against it, I discovered it to be a solid mass of iron, which, from its peculiar wavy feel as I passed the blade along it, I concluded to be a chain-cable. The only course now left me was to retrace my way to the box, and there either yield to my sad fate, or try so to tranquilize my mind as to admit of my arranging some plan of escape. I immediately set about the attempt, and succeeded, after innumerable difficulties, in getting back. As I sank, utterly exhausted, upon the mattress, Tiger threw himself at full length by my side, and seemed as if desirous, by his caresses, of consoling me in my troubles, and urging me to bear them with fortitude.

My feelings were ones of extreme horror and dismay. I tried in vain to figure out why I was trapped like this. I couldn't piece together my thoughts, and as I sank to the floor, I let myself slip into the darkest imaginations, where the terrifying possibilities of dying from thirst, starvation, suffocation, or being buried alive loomed large. Eventually, I regained a bit of my composure. I got up and used my fingers to search for the seams or cracks of the opening. Once I found them, I examined them closely to see if any light was coming from the room; but nothing was visible. I then forced the blade of my penknife into the cracks until I hit something hard. As I scraped against it, I realized it was a solid piece of iron, which, from the wavy texture I felt as I ran the blade along it, I figured was a chain-cable. The only option left for me was to go back to the box and either accept my sad fate or calm my mind enough to come up with a plan to escape. I immediately set to work on this and, after countless challenges, managed to make my way back. As I collapsed, completely exhausted, onto the mattress, Tiger lay down beside me and seemed eager to comfort me with his affection, encouraging me to endure my troubles with strength.

The singularity of his behavior at length forcibly arrested my attention. After licking my face and hands for some minutes, he would suddenly cease doing so, and utter a low whine. Upon reaching out my hand toward him, I then invariably found him lying on his back, with his paws uplifted. This conduct, so frequently repeated, appeared strange, and I could in no manner account for it. As the dog seemed distressed, I concluded that he had received some injury; and, taking his paws in my hands, I examined them one by one, but found no sign of any hurt. I then supposed him hungry, and gave him a large piece of ham, which he devoured with avidity—afterward, however, resuming his extraordinary manoeuvres. I now imagined that he was suffering, like myself, the torments of thirst, and was about adopting this conclusion as the true one, when the idea occurred to me that I had as yet only examined his paws, and that there might possibly be a wound upon some portion of his body or head. The latter I felt carefully over, but found nothing. On passing my hand, however, along his back, I perceived a slight erection of the hair extending completely across it. Probing this with my finger, I discovered a string, and tracing it up, found that it encircled the whole body. Upon a closer scrutiny, I came across a small slip of what had the feeling of letter paper, through which the string had been fastened in such a manner as to bring it immediately beneath the left shoulder of the animal.

The uniqueness of his behavior finally caught my attention. After licking my face and hands for a few minutes, he would suddenly stop and let out a low whine. When I reached out my hand toward him, I always found him lying on his back with his paws in the air. This behavior, which happened repeatedly, seemed odd, and I couldn’t figure out why he was doing it. Since the dog looked distressed, I thought he might have gotten hurt. I took his paws in my hands and checked each one, but I didn’t find any signs of injury. I then thought he might be hungry and gave him a big piece of ham, which he eagerly devoured—however, he went back to his strange behavior afterward. I started to think that he might be suffering from thirst, and just as I was about to accept that conclusion, I realized that I had only examined his paws and that there could be a wound somewhere else on his body or head. I carefully felt over his head but found nothing. As I ran my hand along his back, I noticed a slight raising of the fur that stretched across it. Probing this with my finger, I found a string, and as I traced it, I discovered that it wrapped around his whole body. Upon closer inspection, I found a small piece of what felt like letter paper, through which the string had been fastened, placing it directly under the dog’s left shoulder.

CHAPTER 3

The thought instantly occurred to me that the paper was a note from Augustus, and that some unaccountable accident having happened to prevent his relieving me from my dungeon, he had devised this method of acquainting me with the true state of affairs. Trembling with eagerness, I now commenced another search for my phosphorus matches and tapers. I had a confused recollection of having put them carefully away just before falling asleep; and, indeed, previously to my last journey to the trap, I had been able to remember the exact spot where I had deposited them. But now I endeavored in vain to call it to mind, and busied myself for a full hour in a fruitless and vexatious search for the missing articles; never, surely, was there a more tantalizing state of anxiety and suspense. At length, while groping about, with my head close to the ballast, near the opening of the box, and outside of it, I perceived a faint glimmering of light in the direction of the steerage. Greatly surprised, I endeavored to make my way toward it, as it appeared to be but a few feet from my position. Scarcely had I moved with this intention, when I lost sight of the glimmer entirely, and, before I could bring it into view again, was obliged to feel along by the box until I had exactly resumed my original situation. Now, moving my head with caution to and fro, I found that, by proceeding slowly, with great care, in an opposite direction to that in which I had at first started, I was enabled to draw near the light, still keeping it in view. Presently I came directly upon it (having squeezed my way through innumerable narrow windings), and found that it proceeded from some fragments of my matches lying in an empty barrel turned upon its side. I was wondering how they came in such a place, when my hand fell upon two or three pieces of taper wax, which had been evidently mumbled by the dog. I concluded at once that he had devoured the whole of my supply of candles, and I felt hopeless of being ever able to read the note of Augustus. The small remnants of the wax were so mashed up among other rubbish in the barrel, that I despaired of deriving any service from them, and left them as they were. The phosphorus, of which there was only a speck or two, I gathered up as well as I could, and returned with it, after much difficulty, to my box, where Tiger had all the while remained.

The thought suddenly crossed my mind that the paper was a note from Augustus and that some unexpected accident had stopped him from freeing me from my prison. He must have come up with this way to let me know what was really happening. Shaking with eagerness, I started searching again for my phosphorus matches and candles. I vaguely remembered putting them away carefully just before I fell asleep, and before my last trip to the trap, I could recall exactly where I had set them down. But now, I couldn't remember at all and spent a frustrating hour looking for the missing items; never was there a more annoying state of anxiety and suspense. Eventually, while feeling around with my head close to the ballast, near the opening of the box and outside of it, I saw a faint glimmer of light coming from the steerage. I was really surprised and tried to make my way toward it since it seemed to be only a few feet away. Just as I moved, though, the light disappeared completely, and before I could spot it again, I had to feel my way back to my original spot. Carefully moving my head back and forth, I realized that by slowly and cautiously going in the opposite direction of where I first headed, I could get closer to the light while keeping it in sight. After squeezing through countless narrow twists and turns, I finally found it, coming from some fragments of my matches lying in an empty barrel turned on its side. I wondered how they ended up there when my hand touched a few pieces of candle wax that had clearly been chewed by the dog. I immediately concluded that he had eaten all my candles, and I felt hopeless about ever being able to read Augustus’s note. The small bits of wax were so smashed up among other junk in the barrel that I gave up on trying to use them and left them where they were. I picked up the tiny remnants of phosphorus as best I could and, after a lot of effort, returned to my box, where Tiger had stayed all along.

What to do next I could not tell. The hold was so intensely dark that I could not see my hand, however close I would hold it to my face. The white slip of paper could barely be discerned, and not even that when I looked at it directly; by turning the exterior portions of the retina toward it—that is to say, by surveying it slightly askance, I found that it became in some measure perceptible. Thus the gloom of my prison may be imagined, and the note of my friend, if indeed it were a note from him, seemed only likely to throw me into further trouble, by disquieting to no purpose my already enfeebled and agitated mind. In vain I revolved in my brain a multitude of absurd expedients for procuring light—such expedients precisely as a man in the perturbed sleep occasioned by opium would be apt to fall upon for a similar purpose—each and all of which appear by turns to the dreamer the most reasonable and the most preposterous of conceptions, just as the reasoning or imaginative faculties flicker, alternately, one above the other. At last an idea occurred to me which seemed rational, and which gave me cause to wonder, very justly, that I had not entertained it before. I placed the slip of paper on the back of a book, and, collecting the fragments of the phosphorus matches which I had brought from the barrel, laid them together upon the paper. I then, with the palm of my hand, rubbed the whole over quickly, yet steadily. A clear light diffused itself immediately throughout the whole surface; and had there been any writing upon it, I should not have experienced the least difficulty, I am sure, in reading it. Not a syllable was there, however—nothing but a dreary and unsatisfactory blank; the illumination died away in a few seconds, and my heart died away within me as it went.

What to do next, I couldn't figure out. The hold was so dark that I couldn't see my hand, no matter how close I held it to my face. I could barely make out the white slip of paper, and not even that when I looked at it directly; by turning my eyes slightly to the side, I found it became somewhat visible. You can imagine how gloomy my prison was, and the note from my friend, if it really was from him, only seemed likely to add to my troubles, further unsettling my already weakened and anxious mind. I desperately thought of a bunch of silly ideas to get some light—ideas a person in a restless, opium-induced sleep might come up with for the same reason—each one seeming perfectly reasonable and completely absurd at the same time, as my reasoning and imagination flickered back and forth. Finally, I had an idea that seemed logical, and I wondered justifiably why I hadn't thought of it before. I placed the slip of paper on the back of a book and gathered the leftover bits of the phosphorus matches I had taken from the barrel, laying them on the paper. Then, I quickly rubbed my palm over the whole thing. A bright light spread out over the surface immediately; if there had been any writing on it, I’m sure I would have had no trouble reading it. But there wasn’t a word—just a dull and frustrating blank; the light faded away in a few seconds, and my heart fell as it did.

I have before stated more than once that my intellect, for some period prior to this, had been in a condition nearly bordering on idiocy. There were, to be sure, momentary intervals of perfect sanity, and, now and then, even of energy; but these were few. It must be remembered that I had been, for many days certainly, inhaling the almost pestilential atmosphere of a close hold in a whaling vessel, and for a long portion of that time but scantily supplied with water. For the last fourteen or fifteen hours I had none—nor had I slept during that time. Salt provisions of the most exciting kind had been my chief, and, indeed, since the loss of the mutton, my only supply of food, with the exception of the sea-biscuit; and these latter were utterly useless to me, as they were too dry and hard to be swallowed in the swollen and parched condition of my throat. I was now in a high state of fever, and in every respect exceedingly ill. This will account for the fact that many miserable hours of despondency elapsed after my last adventure with the phosphorus, before the thought suggested itself that I had examined only one side of the paper. I shall not attempt to describe my feelings of rage (for I believe I was more angry than any thing else) when the egregious oversight I had committed flashed suddenly upon my perception. The blunder itself would have been unimportant, had not my own folly and impetuosity rendered it otherwise—in my disappointment at not finding some words upon the slip, I had childishly torn it in pieces and thrown it away, it was impossible to say where.

I’ve mentioned more than once that my mind had been nearly at a breaking point for a while before this. There were brief moments of clarity and energy, but they were rare. Keep in mind that I had been breathing the almost suffocating air of a cramped whaling ship for many days and had been very low on water for a long time. For the last fourteen or fifteen hours, I hadn’t had any—nor had I slept during that time. My main source of food had been highly stimulating salted provisions, and since losing the mutton, they were my only food aside from the sea biscuits; but those were completely useless because they were too dry and hard to swallow with my throat swollen and parched. I was now burning with fever and extremely unwell. This explains why many awful hours of despair followed my last encounter with the phosphorus before it occurred to me that I had only looked at one side of the paper. I won't try to describe the rage I felt (I believe I was angrier than anything else) when I suddenly realized the stupid mistake I had made. The mistake itself would have been insignificant if not for my own foolishness and impatience making it worse—out of disappointment at not finding any words on the slip, I had foolishly torn it to pieces and thrown it away without knowing where.

From the worst part of this dilemma I was relieved by the sagacity of Tiger. Having got, after a long search, a small piece of the note, I put it to the dog’s nose, and endeavored to make him understand that he must bring me the rest of it. To my astonishment, (for I had taught him none of the usual tricks for which his breed are famous,) he seemed to enter at once into my meaning, and, rummaging about for a few moments, soon found another considerable portion. Bringing me this, he paused awhile, and, rubbing his nose against my hand, appeared to be waiting for my approval of what he had done. I patted him on the head, when he immediately made off again. It was now some minutes before he came back—but when he did come, he brought with him a large slip, which proved to be all the paper missing—it having been torn, it seems, only into three pieces. Luckily, I had no trouble in finding what few fragments of the phosphorus were left—being guided by the indistinct glow one or two of the particles still emitted. My difficulties had taught me the necessity of caution, and I now took time to reflect upon what I was about to do. It was very probable, I considered, that some words were written upon that side of the paper which had not been examined—but which side was that? Fitting the pieces together gave me no clew in this respect, although it assured me that the words (if there were any) would be found all on one side, and connected in a proper manner, as written. There was the greater necessity of ascertaining the point in question beyond a doubt, as the phosphorus remaining would be altogether insufficient for a third attempt, should I fail in the one I was now about to make. I placed the paper on a book as before, and sat for some minutes thoughtfully revolving the matter over in my mind. At last I thought it barely possible that the written side might have some unevenness on its surface, which a delicate sense of feeling might enable me to detect. I determined to make the experiment and passed my finger very carefully over the side which first presented itself. Nothing, however, was perceptible, and I turned the paper, adjusting it on the book. I now again carried my forefinger cautiously along, when I was aware of an exceedingly slight, but still discernable glow, which followed as it proceeded. This, I knew, must arise from some very minute remaining particles of the phosphorus with which I had covered the paper in my previous attempt. The other, or under side, then, was that on which lay the writing, if writing there should finally prove to be. Again I turned the note, and went to work as I had previously done. Having rubbed in the phosphorus, a brilliancy ensued as before—but this time several lines of MS. in a large hand, and apparently in red ink, became distinctly visible. The glimmer, although sufficiently bright, was but momentary. Still, had I not been too greatly excited, there would have been ample time enough for me to peruse the whole three sentences before me—for I saw there were three. In my anxiety, however, to read all at once, I succeeded only in reading the seven concluding words, which thus appeared—“blood—your life depends upon lying close.”

From the worst part of this situation, I was saved by the cleverness of Tiger. After a long search, I found a small piece of the note and put it to the dog's nose, trying to convey that he needed to bring me the rest. To my surprise, since I hadn’t taught him any of the usual tricks his breed is known for, he seemed to understand me right away. He rummaged around for a few moments and quickly found another substantial piece. When he brought it to me, he paused and rubbed his nose against my hand, looking for my approval. I patted him on the head, and he took off again. It took him a few minutes to return, but when he did, he had a large piece that turned out to be the entire missing section—it had only been torn into three pieces. Thankfully, I had no trouble finding the few bits of phosphorus that were left, guided by the faint glow from a couple of particles. My struggles had taught me to be cautious, so I took a moment to think about what I was about to do. I considered that there might be words written on the side of the paper I hadn't examined—but which side was it? Fitting the pieces together gave me no clues, although I was assured that if there were any words, they would all be on one side and arranged correctly, as written. It was even more important to determine this without a doubt, as the remaining phosphorus would not be enough for a third attempt if I failed this time. I placed the paper on a book as I had before and sat for a few minutes, thoughtfully going over the situation in my mind. Finally, I thought it was possible that the written side might have some unevenness that I could detect by touch. I decided to give it a try and gently ran my finger over the first side. However, I felt nothing and flipped the paper over, adjusting it on the book. I cautiously moved my finger along the new side when I noticed an extremely faint but still noticeable glow following my touch. I realized this had to be from some very tiny remaining phosphorus particles that I had used in my previous attempt. So, the other side must be the one with the writing, if there was any. I turned the note again and got to work as I had before. After rubbing in the phosphorus, it glowed as it had before, but this time several lines of handwriting in a large script, seemingly in red ink, became clearly visible. The glow, although bright enough, lasted only a moment. Still, if I hadn’t been too excited, I would have had plenty of time to read all three sentences in front of me—because I saw there were three. However, due to my anxiety to read everything at once, I only managed to get through the last seven words, which read: “blood—your life depends upon lying close.”

Had I been able to ascertain the entire contents of the note—the full meaning of the admonition which my friend had thus attempted to convey, that admonition, even although it should have revealed a story of disaster the most unspeakable, could not, I am firmly convinced, have imbued my mind with one tithe of the harrowing and yet indefinable horror with which I was inspired by the fragmentary warning thus received. And “blood,” too, that word of all words—so rife at all times with mystery, and suffering, and terror—how trebly full of import did it now appear—how chilly and heavily (disjointed, as it thus was, from any foregoing words to qualify or render it distinct) did its vague syllables fall, amid the deep gloom of my prison, into the innermost recesses of my soul!

If I had been able to understand the whole message of the note—the complete meaning of the warning my friend was trying to send—it still wouldn’t have filled me with the same intense and indescribable fear that the incomplete warning I received did. And “blood,” that word that always carries so much mystery, pain, and terror—how much more significant it seemed now—how cold and heavy (especially since it was disconnected from anything else to clarify or specify it) did its unclear sounds echo in the deep darkness of my cell, reaching the very depths of my soul!

Augustus had, undoubtedly, good reasons for wishing me to remain concealed, and I formed a thousand surmises as to what they could be—but I could think of nothing affording a satisfactory solution of the mystery. Just after returning from my last journey to the trap, and before my attention had been otherwise directed by the singular conduct of Tiger, I had come to the resolution of making myself heard at all events by those on board, or, if I could not succeed in this directly, of trying to cut my way through the orlop deck. The half certainty which I felt of being able to accomplish one of these two purposes in the last emergency, had given me courage (which I should not otherwise have had) to endure the evils of my situation. The few words I had been able to read, however, had cut me off from these final resources, and I now, for the first time, felt all the misery of my fate. In a paroxysm of despair I threw myself again upon the mattress, where, for about the period of a day and night, I lay in a kind of stupor, relieved only by momentary intervals of reason and recollection.

Augustus definitely had good reasons for wanting me to stay hidden, and I came up with a million theories about what they could be—but none of them provided a satisfying answer to the mystery. Just after I got back from my last trip to the trap, and before I had my attention diverted by Tiger's strange behavior, I decided that I needed to make myself heard by those on board, or at least try to break through the orlop deck if I couldn't do that directly. The slight chance I had of achieving one of those goals in that desperate situation gave me the courage I wouldn’t have had otherwise to endure the hardships I was facing. However, the few words I had read had cut me off from those last hopes, and for the first time, I truly felt the weight of my misery. In a fit of despair, I threw myself back on the mattress, where I lay in a kind of stupor for about a day and night, only occasionally breaking through with brief moments of clarity and memory.

At length I once more arose, and busied myself in reflection upon the horrors which encompassed me. For another twenty-four hours it was barely possible that I might exist without water—for a longer time I could not do so. During the first portion of my imprisonment I had made free use of the cordials with which Augustus had supplied me, but they only served to excite fever, without in the least degree assuaging thirst. I had now only about a gill left, and this was of a species of strong peach liqueur at which my stomach revolted. The sausages were entirely consumed; of the ham nothing remained but a small piece of the skin; and all the biscuit, except a few fragments of one, had been eaten by Tiger. To add to my troubles, I found that my headache was increasing momentarily, and with it the species of delirium which had distressed me more or less since my first falling asleep. For some hours past it had been with the greatest difficulty I could breathe at all, and now each attempt at so doing was attended with the most depressing spasmodic action of the chest. But there was still another and very different source of disquietude, and one, indeed, whose harassing terrors had been the chief means of arousing me to exertion from my stupor on the mattress. It arose from the demeanor of the dog.

Finally, I got up again and started reflecting on the horrors surrounding me. For another twenty-four hours, it was hardly possible for me to survive without water—I couldn’t go any longer than that. During the first part of my imprisonment, I had freely used the drinks Augustus had given me, but they only made me feverish and did nothing to quench my thirst. I was down to about a small glass of a strong peach liqueur, which my stomach couldn’t handle. The sausages were all gone; only a tiny piece of ham skin was left; and Tiger had eaten all the biscuits except for a few crumbs of one. To make matters worse, my headache was getting worse by the minute, along with the kind of delirium that had troubled me somewhat since I first fell asleep. For the last few hours, it had been extremely difficult to breathe at all, and now each attempt to do so was met with a painful spasm in my chest. But there was another very different source of worry—one that had been the main thing pushing me to get up from my stupor on the mattress. It came from the behavior of the dog.

I first observed an alteration in his conduct while rubbing in the phosphorus on the paper in my last attempt. As I rubbed, he ran his nose against my hand with a slight snarl; but I was too greatly excited at the time to pay much attention to the circumstance. Soon afterward, it will be remembered, I threw myself on the mattress, and fell into a species of lethargy. Presently I became aware of a singular hissing sound close at my ears, and discovered it to proceed from Tiger, who was panting and wheezing in a state of the greatest apparent excitement, his eyeballs flashing fiercely through the gloom. I spoke to him, when he replied with a low growl, and then remained quiet. Presently I relapsed into my stupor, from which I was again awakened in a similar manner. This was repeated three or four times, until finally his behaviour inspired me with so great a degree of fear, that I became fully aroused. He was now lying close by the door of the box, snarling fearfully, although in a kind of undertone, and grinding his teeth as if strongly convulsed. I had no doubt whatever that the want of water or the confined atmosphere of the hold had driven him mad, and I was at a loss what course to pursue. I could not endure the thought of killing him, yet it seemed absolutely necessary for my own safety. I could distinctly perceive his eyes fastened upon me with an expression of the most deadly animosity, and I expected every instant that he would attack me. At last I could endure my terrible situation no longer, and determined to make my way from the box at all hazards, and dispatch him, if his opposition should render it necessary for me to do so. To get out, I had to pass directly over his body, and he already seemed to anticipate my design—missing himself upon his fore-legs (as I perceived by the altered position of his eyes), and displayed the whole of his white fangs, which were easily discernible. I took the remains of the ham-skin, and the bottle containing the liqueur, and secured them about my person, together with a large carving-knife which Augustus had left me—then, folding my cloak around me as closely as possible, I made a movement toward the mouth of the box. No sooner did I do this, than the dog sprang with a loud growl toward my throat. The whole weight of his body struck me on the right shoulder, and I fell violently to the left, while the enraged animal passed entirely over me. I had fallen upon my knees, with my head buried among the blankets, and these protected me from a second furious assault, during which I felt the sharp teeth pressing vigorously upon the woollen which enveloped my neck—yet, luckily, without being able to penetrate all the folds. I was now beneath the dog, and a few moments would place me completely in his power. Despair gave me strength, and I rose boldly up, shaking him from me by main force, and dragging with me the blankets from the mattress. These I now threw over him, and before he could extricate himself, I had got through the door and closed it effectually against his pursuit. In this struggle, however, I had been forced to drop the morsel of ham-skin, and I now found my whole stock of provisions reduced to a single gill of liqueur. As this reflection crossed my mind, I felt myself actuated by one of those fits of perverseness which might be supposed to influence a spoiled child in similar circumstances, and, raising the bottle to my lips, I drained it to the last drop, and dashed it furiously upon the floor.

I first noticed a change in his behavior while I was rubbing phosphorus onto the paper in my last attempt. As I rubbed, he nudged my hand with his nose and gave a slight snarl; but I was too excited at the moment to pay much attention to it. Soon afterward, as you may remember, I threw myself on the mattress and fell into a kind of stupor. Eventually, I became aware of a strange hissing sound close to my ears and realized it was coming from Tiger, who was panting and wheezing with a look of intense excitement, his eyes flashing fiercely in the dim light. I spoke to him, and he responded with a low growl before settling down. I fell back into my daze, only to be awakened in a similar way. This happened three or four times until his behavior filled me with such fear that I fully woke up. He was now lying near the door of the box, snarling in a low tone and grinding his teeth like he was having convulsions. I had no doubt that the lack of water or the cramped atmosphere had driven him insane, and I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t bear the thought of killing him, yet it seemed absolutely necessary for my own safety. I could clearly see his eyes fixed on me with a look of deadly hatred, and I expected him to attack me at any moment. Finally, I could no longer tolerate my terrifying situation and decided to make my way out of the box, willing to take him down if I needed to. To get out, I had to step over him, and it seemed like he anticipated my move—propelling himself onto his forelegs (as I noticed from the change in the position of his eyes) and bared his sharp white fangs, which were easily visible. I took the remains of the ham skin, the bottle of liqueur, and secured them on my person along with a large carving knife that Augustus had left me. Then, wrapping my cloak tightly around me, I made a move toward the opening of the box. As soon as I did this, the dog lunged at my throat with a loud growl. The full weight of his body hit my right shoulder, and I fell violently to the left, while the enraged animal leaped right over me. I had landed on my knees, my head buried in the blankets, which protected me from a second furious attack during which I felt his sharp teeth pressing hard against the wool around my neck—though thankfully, they didn’t penetrate all the layers. Now I was underneath the dog, and in a moment, he would have me completely at his mercy. Despair fueled my strength, and I rose boldly, shaking him off by sheer force and dragging the blankets with me. I threw them over him, and before he could free himself, I slipped through the door and shut it securely behind me. However, in that struggle, I had to drop the piece of ham skin, and I now realized my entire supply of provisions had been reduced to just a small glass of liqueur. As that thought crossed my mind, I felt overwhelmed by one of those fits of stubbornness that might be expected of a spoiled child in similar situations, and raising the bottle to my lips, I drank it down to the last drop and smashed it furiously onto the floor.

Scarcely had the echo of the crash died away, when I heard my name pronounced in an eager but subdued voice, issuing from the direction of the steerage. So unexpected was anything of the kind, and so intense was the emotion excited within me by the sound, that I endeavoured in vain to reply. My powers of speech totally failed, and in an agony of terror lest my friend should conclude me dead, and return without attempting to reach me, I stood up between the crates near the door of the box, trembling convulsively, and gasping and struggling for utterance. Had a thousand words depended upon a syllable, I could not have spoken it. There was a slight movement now audible among the lumber somewhere forward of my station. The sound presently grew less distinct, then again less so, and still less. Shall I ever forget my feelings at this moment? He was going—my friend, my companion, from whom I had a right to expect so much—he was going—he would abandon me—he was gone! He would leave me to perish miserably, to expire in the most horrible and loathesome of dungeons—and one word, one little syllable, would save me—yet that single syllable I could not utter! I felt, I am sure, more than ten thousand times the agonies of death itself. My brain reeled, and I fell, deadly sick, against the end of the box.

As soon as the sound of the crash faded, I heard my name being called in an eager but quiet voice from the direction of the steerage. It was so unexpected, and the intense emotion it sparked in me made it impossible to respond. I completely lost my ability to speak, and in a panic that my friend might think I was dead and leave without trying to find me, I stood up between the crates near the door of the box, trembling, gasping, and struggling to find my voice. Even if a thousand words depended on a single syllable, I couldn’t say it. I could now hear a slight movement among the cargo somewhere in front of me. The sound gradually became less distinct, then fainter, and then nearly silent. Will I ever forget how I felt at that moment? He was leaving—my friend, my companion, from whom I had so much right to expect—he was leaving—he would abandon me—he was gone! He would leave me to suffer, to die in the most horrible and disgusting dungeon—and one word, just one tiny syllable, would save me—but I couldn’t say that single syllable! I felt like I was experiencing the agony of death a thousand times over. My mind spun, and I fell against the end of the box, feeling extremely faint.

As I fell the carving-knife was shaken out from the waist-band of my pantaloons, and dropped with a rattling sound to the floor. Never did any strain of the richest melody come so sweetly to my ears! With the intensest anxiety I listened to ascertain the effect of the noise upon Augustus—for I knew that the person who called my name could be no one but himself. All was silent for some moments. At length I again heard the word “Arthur!” repeated in a low tone, and one full of hesitation. Reviving hope loosened at once my powers of speech, and I now screamed at the top of my voice, “Augustus! oh, Augustus!” “Hush! for God’s sake be silent!” he replied, in a voice trembling with agitation; “I will be with you immediately—as soon as I can make my way through the hold.” For a long time I heard him moving among the lumber, and every moment seemed to me an age. At length I felt his hand upon my shoulder, and he placed, at the same moment, a bottle of water to my lips. Those only who have been suddenly redeemed from the jaws of the tomb, or who have known the insufferable torments of thirst under circumstances as aggravated as those which encompassed me in my dreary prison, can form any idea of the unutterable transports which that one long draught of the richest of all physical luxuries afforded.

As I fell, the carving knife slipped out from the waistband of my pants and clattered to the floor. Never had any tune sounded so sweet to my ears! With intense anxiety, I listened to see how the noise affected Augustus—because I knew the person calling my name could only be him. For a few moments, there was silence. Finally, I heard the word “Arthur!” again, uttered in a low, hesitant tone. A flicker of hope suddenly gave me back my voice, and I cried out at the top of my lungs, “Augustus! Oh, Augustus!” “Hush! For God’s sake, be quiet!” he answered, his voice shaking with emotion; “I’ll be with you soon—as soon as I can get through the hold.” For what felt like an eternity, I heard him moving around in the darkness, and each moment dragged on forever. Finally, I felt his hand on my shoulder, and at the same time, he brought a bottle of water to my lips. Only those who have been saved from death's grip or have experienced the unbearable suffering of thirst in circumstances as dire as mine in that dismal prison can understand the indescribable joy that one long sip of pure bliss brought me.

When I had in some degree satisfied my thirst, Augustus produced from his pocket three or four boiled potatoes, which I devoured with the greatest avidity. He had brought with him a light in a dark lantern, and the grateful rays afforded me scarcely less comfort than the food and drink. But I was impatient to learn the cause of his protracted absence, and he proceeded to recount what had happened on board during my incarceration.

When I had somewhat quenched my thirst, Augustus pulled out three or four boiled potatoes from his pocket, which I devoured eagerly. He had also brought a light in a dark lantern, and the warm glow provided me just about as much comfort as the food and drink. However, I was eager to find out why he had been gone for so long, so he began to tell me what had happened on board while I was locked up.

CHAPTER 4

The brig put to sea, as I had supposed, in about an hour after he had left the watch. This was on the twentieth of June. It will be remembered that I had then been in the hold for three days; and, during this period, there was so constant a bustle on board, and so much running to and fro, especially in the cabin and staterooms, that he had had no chance of visiting me without the risk of having the secret of the trap discovered. When at length he did come, I had assured him that I was doing as well as possible; and, therefore, for the two next days he felt but little uneasiness on my account—still, however, watching an opportunity of going down. It was not until the fourth day that he found one. Several times during this interval he had made up his mind to let his father know of the adventure, and have me come up at once; but we were still within reaching distance of Nantucket, and it was doubtful, from some expressions which had escaped Captain Barnard, whether he would not immediately put back if he discovered me to be on board. Besides, upon thinking the matter over, Augustus, so he told me, could not imagine that I was in immediate want, or that I would hesitate, in such case, to make myself heard at the trap. When, therefore, he considered everything he concluded to let me stay until he could meet with an opportunity of visiting me unobserved. This, as I said before, did not occur until the fourth day after his bringing me the watch, and the seventh since I had first entered the hold. He then went down without taking with him any water or provisions, intending in the first place merely to call my attention, and get me to come from the box to the trap,—when he would go up to the stateroom and thence hand me down a supply. When he descended for this purpose he found that I was asleep, for it seems that I was snoring very loudly. From all the calculations I can make on the subject, this must have been the slumber into which I fell just after my return from the trap with the watch, and which, consequently, must have lasted for more than three entire days and nights at the very least. Latterly, I have had reason both from my own experience and the assurance of others, to be acquainted with the strong soporific effects of the stench arising from old fish-oil when closely confined; and when I think of the condition of the hold in which I was imprisoned, and the long period during which the brig had been used as a whaling vessel, I am more inclined to wonder that I awoke at all, after once falling asleep, than that I should have slept uninterruptedly for the period specified above.

The brig set sail, just as I thought, about an hour after he had left the watch. This was on June 20th. I had been in the hold for three days by then, and throughout this time, there was a constant flurry of activity on board, with people rushing around, especially in the cabin and staterooms, making it impossible for him to visit me without risking the trap being discovered. When he finally came down, I assured him that I was doing as well as possible; because of that, he felt relatively calm about me for the next couple of days—still, he kept an eye out for a chance to come down. It wasn't until the fourth day that he found one. Several times during this period, he considered telling his father about the situation and bringing me up right away, but we were still close to Nantucket, and based on some comments Captain Barnard had made, it was unclear whether he would immediately turn back if he found out I was on board. Plus, after thinking it over, Augustus told me he couldn’t imagine that I was in immediate need or that I wouldn’t make some noise at the trap if I were. So, after considering everything, he decided to let me stay put until he could find a moment to visit me without being seen. As I mentioned before, this wouldn’t happen until the fourth day after he brought me the watch, and the seventh since I had first entered the hold. He went down without taking any water or food, planning just to get my attention and have me come from the box to the trap—then he would go back up to the stateroom and bring me down some supplies. When he came down for this, he found me asleep since it turns out I was snoring quite loudly. From what I can gather, this must have been the sleep I fell into just after returning from the trap with the watch, which likely lasted for more than three days and nights at a minimum. Recently, I've learned from my own experience and from others that the strong sedative effects of the smell from old fish oil, when trapped in a small space, can be intense. When I think about the condition of the hold where I was locked up and how long the brig had been used as a whaling vessel, I find it more surprising that I woke up at all after falling asleep than that I managed to sleep so soundly for that long.

Augustus called to me at first in a low voice and without closing the trap—but I made him no reply. He then shut the trap, and spoke to me in a louder, and finally in a very loud tone—still I continued to snore. He was now at a loss what to do. It would take him some time to make his way through the lumber to my box, and in the meanwhile his absence would be noticed by Captain Barnard, who had occasion for his services every minute, in arranging and copying papers connected with the business of the voyage. He determined, therefore, upon reflection, to ascend, and await another opportunity of visiting me. He was the more easily induced to this resolve, as my slumber appeared to be of the most tranquil nature, and he could not suppose that I had undergone any inconvenience from my incarceration. He had just made up his mind on these points when his attention was arrested by an unusual bustle, the sound of which proceeded apparently from the cabin. He sprang through the trap as quickly as possible, closed it, and threw open the door of his stateroom. No sooner had he put his foot over the threshold than a pistol flashed in his face, and he was knocked down, at the same moment, by a blow from a handspike.

Augustus first whispered to me without closing the hatch, but I didn’t respond. He then shut the hatch and spoke to me louder, and eventually shouted—yet I kept snoring. He was unsure of what to do next. It would take him a while to navigate through the clutter to reach my box, and in the meantime, Captain Barnard would notice his absence since he needed him every minute to organize and copy documents related to the voyage. After thinking it over, he decided to go up and wait for another chance to see me. He felt more inclined to this choice because my sleep seemed very peaceful, and he figured I wasn’t suffering any ill effects from being locked up. Just as he settled on this decision, he was distracted by a strange commotion coming from the cabin. He jumped through the hatch as fast as he could, closed it behind him, and opened the door to his stateroom. No sooner had he stepped over the threshold than a gun went off in his face, and he was knocked down by a blow from a handspike.

A strong hand held him on the cabin floor, with a tight grasp upon his throat; still he was able to see what was going on around him. His father was tied hand and foot, and lying along the steps of the companion-way, with his head down, and a deep wound in the forehead, from which the blood was flowing in a continued stream. He spoke not a word, and was apparently dying. Over him stood the first mate, eyeing him with an expression of fiendish derision, and deliberately searching his pockets, from which he presently drew forth a large wallet and a chronometer. Seven of the crew (among whom was the cook, a negro) were rummaging the staterooms on the larboard for arms, where they soon equipped themselves with muskets and ammunition. Besides Augustus and Captain Barnard, there were nine men altogether in the cabin, and these among the most ruffianly of the brig’s company. The villains now went upon deck, taking my friend with them after having secured his arms behind his back. They proceeded straight to the forecastle, which was fastened down—two of the mutineers standing by it with axes—two also at the main hatch. The mate called out in a loud voice: “Do you hear there below? tumble up with you, one by one—now, mark that—and no grumbling!” It was some minutes before any one appeared:—at last an Englishman, who had shipped as a raw hand, came up, weeping piteously, and entreating the mate, in the most humble manner, to spare his life. The only reply was a blow on the forehead from an axe. The poor fellow fell to the deck without a groan, and the black cook lifted him up in his arms as he would a child, and tossed him deliberately into the sea. Hearing the blow and the plunge of the body, the men below could now be induced to venture on deck neither by threats nor promises, until a proposition was made to smoke them out. A general rush then ensued, and for a moment it seemed possible that the brig might be retaken. The mutineers, however, succeeded at last in closing the forecastle effectually before more than six of their opponents could get up. These six, finding themselves so greatly outnumbered and without arms, submitted after a brief struggle. The mate gave them fair words—no doubt with a view of inducing those below to yield, for they had no difficulty in hearing all that was said on deck. The result proved his sagacity, no less than his diabolical villainy. All in the forecastle presently signified their intention of submitting, and, ascending one by one, were pinioned and then thrown on their backs, together with the first six—there being in all, of the crew who were not concerned in the mutiny, twenty-seven.

A strong hand held him down on the cabin floor, gripping his throat tightly; still, he could see what was happening around him. His father was tied up, lying on the steps of the companionway, head down, with a deep wound on his forehead, from which blood was flowing in a steady stream. He didn't say a word and seemed to be dying. The first mate stood over him, looking at him with a sneer, while he searched his pockets and pulled out a large wallet and a chronometer. Seven crew members (including the cook, who was black) were rummaging through the staterooms on the port side for weapons, and they soon armed themselves with muskets and ammunition. Besides Augustus and Captain Barnard, there were nine men in the cabin, and they were among the most ruthless of the brig’s crew. The villains then went on deck, taking my friend with them after securing his hands behind his back. They headed straight to the forecastle, which was locked down—two of the mutineers were standing by it with axes, and two more by the main hatch. The mate shouted loudly: “Do you hear down there? Come up, one by one—now, pay attention—and no complaining!” It took a few minutes before anyone showed up: finally, an Englishman who had signed on as a novice came up, crying heavily and begging the mate humbly to spare his life. The only response was an axe blow to his forehead. The poor guy collapsed on the deck without a sound, and the black cook picked him up as if he were a child and tossed him into the sea. Hearing the blow and the splash, the men below weren’t tempted to come up by either threats or promises until someone suggested smoking them out. A general rush then happened, and for a moment, it seemed like the brig might be retaken. However, the mutineers managed to secure the forecastle before more than six of the others could get up. These six, realizing they were outnumbered and unarmed, surrendered after a brief struggle. The mate spoke to them kindly—no doubt to persuade those below to give up, since they could hear everything said on deck. His cleverness, as well as his wickedness, was evident in the outcome. Soon, everyone in the forecastle signaled their intention to surrender, and one by one, they came up, were tied up, and then thrown on their backs, along with the first six—totaling twenty-seven crew members who weren’t involved in the mutiny.

A scene of the most horrible butchery ensued. The bound seamen were dragged to the gangway. Here the cook stood with an axe, striking each victim on the head as he was forced over the side of the vessel by the other mutineers. In this manner twenty-two perished, and Augustus had given himself up for lost, expecting every moment his own turn to come next. But it seemed that the villains were now either weary, or in some measure disgusted with their bloody labour; for the four remaining prisoners, together with my friend, who had been thrown on the deck with the rest, were respited while the mate sent below for rum, and the whole murderous party held a drunken carouse, which lasted until sunset. They now fell to disputing in regard to the fate of the survivors, who lay not more than four paces off, and could distinguish every word said. Upon some of the mutineers the liquor appeared to have a softening effect, for several voices were heard in favor of releasing the captives altogether, on condition of joining the mutiny and sharing the profits. The black cook, however (who in all respects was a perfect demon, and who seemed to exert as much influence, if not more, than the mate himself), would listen to no proposition of the kind, and rose repeatedly for the purpose of resuming his work at the gangway. Fortunately he was so far overcome by intoxication as to be easily restrained by the less bloodthirsty of the party, among whom was a line-manager, who went by the name of Dirk Peters. This man was the son of an Indian squaw of the tribe of Upsarokas, who live among the fastnesses of the Black Hills, near the source of the Missouri. His father was a fur-trader, I believe, or at least connected in some manner with the Indian trading-posts on Lewis river. Peters himself was one of the most ferocious-looking men I ever beheld. He was short in stature, not more than four feet eight inches high, but his limbs were of Herculean mould. His hands, especially, were so enormously thick and broad as hardly to retain a human shape. His arms, as well as legs, were bowed in the most singular manner, and appeared to possess no flexibility whatever. His head was equally deformed, being of immense size, with an indentation on the crown (like that on the head of most negroes), and entirely bald. To conceal this latter deficiency, which did not proceed from old age, he usually wore a wig formed of any hair-like material which presented itself—occasionally the skin of a Spanish dog or American grizzly bear. At the time spoken of, he had on a portion of one of these bearskins; and it added no little to the natural ferocity of his countenance, which betook of the Upsaroka character. The mouth extended nearly from ear to ear, the lips were thin, and seemed, like some other portions of his frame, to be devoid of natural pliancy, so that the ruling expression never varied under the influence of any emotion whatever. This ruling expression may be conceived when it is considered that the teeth were exceedingly long and protruding, and never even partially covered, in any instance, by the lips. To pass this man with a casual glance, one might imagine him to be convulsed with laughter, but a second look would induce a shuddering acknowledgment, that if such an expression were indicative of merriment, the merriment must be that of a demon. Of this singular being many anecdotes were prevalent among the seafaring men of Nantucket. These anecdotes went to prove his prodigious strength when under excitement, and some of them had given rise to a doubt of his sanity. But on board the Grampus, it seems, he was regarded, at the time of the mutiny, with feelings more of derision than of anything else. I have been thus particular in speaking of Dirk Peters, because, ferocious as he appeared, he proved the main instrument in preserving the life of Augustus, and because I shall have frequent occasion to mention him hereafter in the course of my narrative—a narrative, let me here say, which, in its latter portions, will be found to include incidents of a nature so entirely out of the range of human experience, and for this reason so far beyond the limits of human credulity, that I proceed in utter hopelessness of obtaining credence for all that I shall tell, yet confidently trusting in time and progressing science to verify some of the most important and most improbable of my statements.

A scene of terrible violence unfolded. The tied-up sailors were pulled to the gangway. There, the cook stood with an axe, striking each victim on the head as the other mutineers forced them over the side of the ship. In this way, twenty-two men died, and Augustus believed he was doomed, expecting his turn to come any moment. But it seemed the villains were either tired or somewhat disgusted with their bloody work; the four remaining prisoners, along with my friend, who had been thrown down on the deck with the rest, were spared while the mate sent below for rum, and the whole murderous group had a drunken celebration that lasted until sunset. They began to argue about the fate of the survivors, who lay only a few paces away and could hear every word. To some of the mutineers, the alcohol seemed to soften their hearts, as several voices suggested releasing the captives if they would join the mutiny and share the spoils. However, the black cook—who was a complete demon and seemed to have more influence than the mate himself—wouldn’t entertain such ideas and rose repeatedly to resume his work at the gangway. Fortunately, he was so drunk that the less bloodthirsty members of the group, including a line manager named Dirk Peters, could easily hold him back. Peters was the son of an Indian woman from the Upsaroka tribe, who lived in the Black Hills near the Missouri River's source. His father was a fur trader or somehow involved with Indian trading posts on the Lewis River. Peters himself was one of the most fearsome-looking men I had ever seen. He was short, about four feet eight inches tall, but his limbs had a muscular build. His hands were so thick and broad that they barely resembled human hands. His arms and legs were oddly bowed and seemed completely stiff. His head was enormous, deformed, with an indentation on the crown like many Black people, and it was completely bald. To hide this baldness, which wasn't due to age, he typically wore a wig made from any hair-like material he could find—sometimes the skin of a Spanish dog or an American grizzly bear. At this time, he was wearing a piece of bearskin, which added to the natural ferocity of his face, reflecting his Upsaroka heritage. His mouth stretched nearly from ear to ear, his lips were thin, and like other parts of his body, lacked natural flexibility, so his expression never changed with emotion. The ruling expression might be imagined, considering his long, protruding teeth were always exposed because his lips never fully covered them. If someone glanced at him briefly, they might think he was laughing, but a second look would lead to the chilling realization that if he looked amused, it was the kind of amusement one might expect from a demon. Many stories circulated among the sailors of Nantucket about this peculiar man, claiming he had incredible strength when excited, leading some to question his sanity. But on board the Grampus, during the mutiny, he was mostly regarded with mockery. I recount Dirk Peters in detail because, despite seeming ferocious, he played a crucial role in saving Augustus's life, and I will often mention him in my story—a story, let me add, that will later include events so far beyond human experience and belief that I proceed with little hope of being believed for all that I share, yet I trust that time and advancing science will eventually validate some of my most essential and incredible claims.

After much indecision and two or three violent quarrels, it was determined at last that all the prisoners (with the exception of Augustus, whom Peters insisted in a jocular manner upon keeping as his clerk) should be set adrift in one of the smallest whaleboats. The mate went down into the cabin to see if Captain Barnard was still living—for, it will be remembered, he was left below when the mutineers came up. Presently the two made their appearance, the captain pale as death, but somewhat recovered from the effects of his wound. He spoke to the men in a voice hardly articulate, entreated them not to set him adrift, but to return to their duty, and promising to land them wherever they chose, and to take no steps for bringing them to justice. He might as well have spoken to the winds. Two of the ruffians seized him by the arms and hurled him over the brig’s side into the boat, which had been lowered while the mate went below. The four men who were lying on the deck were then untied and ordered to follow, which they did without attempting any resistance—Augustus being still left in his painful position, although he struggled and prayed only for the poor satisfaction of being permitted to bid his father farewell. A handful of sea-biscuit and a jug of water were now handed down; but neither mast, sail, oar, nor compass. The boat was towed astern for a few minutes, during which the mutineers held another consultation—it was then finally cut adrift. By this time night had come on—there were neither moon nor stars visible—and a short and ugly sea was running, although there was no great deal of wind. The boat was instantly out of sight, and little hope could be entertained for the unfortunate sufferers who were in it. This event happened, however, in latitude 35 degrees 30’ north, longitude 61 degrees 20’ west, and consequently at no very great distance from the Bermuda Islands. Augustus therefore endeavored to console himself with the idea that the boat might either succeed in reaching the land, or come sufficiently near to be fallen in with by vessels off the coast.

After a lot of back and forth and a couple of heated arguments, it was finally decided that all the prisoners (except for Augustus, whom Peters jokingly insisted on keeping as his clerk) would be set adrift in one of the smaller whaleboats. The mate went down to the cabin to check if Captain Barnard was still alive—since he had been left below when the mutineers took over. Soon, both of them came back up; the captain was pale and looked near death, but was a bit more coherent after his injury. He spoke to the men in a barely understandable voice, begging them not to abandon him and to return to their duties, promising to land them wherever they wanted and to avoid taking any actions against them. It was like talking to the wind. Two of the thugs grabbed him by the arms and tossed him over the side of the brig into the boat, which had been lowered while the mate was below deck. The four men lying on the deck were then untied and told to follow, which they did without resisting—Augustus, however, remained in his agonizing position, struggling and praying just for the chance to say goodbye to his father. A few pieces of sea-biscuit and a jug of water were passed down, but there were no masts, sails, oars, or compass. The boat was towed behind for a few minutes while the mutineers had another discussion—then it was finally cut loose. By then, night had fallen—there was no moon or stars visible—and a choppy sea was forming, even though there wasn’t much wind. The boat quickly disappeared from sight, and there was little hope for the unfortunate souls inside. This all took place at latitude 35 degrees 30’ north, longitude 61 degrees 20’ west, which is not too far from the Bermuda Islands. Augustus tried to reassure himself with the thought that the boat might either reach land or come close enough to be spotted by ships along the coast.

All sail was now put upon the brig, and she continued her original course to the southwest—the mutineers being bent upon some piratical expedition, in which, from all that could be understood, a ship was to be intercepted on her way from the Cape Verd Islands to Porto Rico. No attention was paid to Augustus, who was untied and suffered to go about anywhere forward of the cabin companion-way. Dirk Peters treated him with some degree of kindness, and on one occasion saved him from the brutality of the cook. His situation was still one of the most precarious, as the men were continually intoxicated, and there was no relying upon their continued good-humor or carelessness in regard to himself. His anxiety on my account he represented, however, as the most distressing result of his condition; and, indeed, I had never reason to doubt the sincerity of his friendship. More than once he had resolved to acquaint the mutineers with the secret of my being on board, but was restrained from so doing, partly through recollection of the atrocities he had already beheld, and partly through a hope of being able soon to bring me relief. For the latter purpose he was constantly on the watch; but, in spite of the most constant vigilance, three days elapsed after the boat was cut adrift before any chance occurred. At length, on the night of the third day, there came on a heavy blow from the eastward, and all hands were called up to take in sail. During the confusion which ensued, he made his way below unobserved, and into the stateroom. What was his grief and horror in discovering that the latter had been rendered a place of deposit for a variety of sea-stores and ship-furniture, and that several fathoms of old chain-cable, which had been stowed away beneath the companion-ladder, had been dragged thence to make room for a chest, and were now lying immediately upon the trap! To remove it without discovery was impossible, and he returned on deck as quickly as he could. As he came up, the mate seized him by the throat, and demanding what he had been doing in the cabin, was about flinging him over the larboard bulwark, when his life was again preserved through the interference of Dirk Peters. Augustus was now put in handcuffs (of which there were several pairs on board), and his feet lashed tightly together. He was then taken into the steerage, and thrown into a lower berth next to the forecastle bulkheads, with the assurance that he should never put his foot on deck again “until the brig was no longer a brig.” This was the expression of the cook, who threw him into the berth—it is hardly possible to say what precise meaning intended by the phrase. The whole affair, however, proved the ultimate means of my relief, as will presently appear.

All the sails were now set on the brig, and she continued heading southwest—the mutineers were set on some kind of pirate mission, aiming to intercept a ship traveling from the Cape Verde Islands to Puerto Rico. Augustus was left alone, untied and allowed to roam anywhere in front of the cabin companionway. Dirk Peters showed him some kindness and even saved him from the cook's brutality once. His situation was still very dangerous since the crew was often drunk, and there was no guarantee they would stay good-natured or careless about him. He expressed that his worry for me was the most distressing part of his circumstances; indeed, I never doubted his genuine friendship. More than once, he considered telling the mutineers that I was aboard but held back, partly because of the horrific things he had already witnessed, and partly in hopes of being able to help me soon. For that reason, he stayed alert, but despite his vigilance, three days passed after the boat was cut loose before any opportunity arose. Finally, on the third night, a strong wind came from the east, and everyone was called up to take in the sails. In the ensuing chaos, he slipped below deck unnoticed and into the stateroom. His grief and horror were immense when he found that the stateroom had been turned into a storage area for various supplies and ship equipment, and several lengths of old chain cable that had been kept beneath the companion ladder were pulled out to make space for a chest, now lying right on the trapdoor! There was no way to move it without being seen, so he hurried back on deck. As he emerged, the mate grabbed him by the throat, demanding to know what he was doing in the cabin, and was about to throw him over the port side when Dirk Peters intervened again, saving his life. Augustus was now put in handcuffs (of which there were several pairs on board), and his feet were tightly bound. He was taken into the steerage and thrown into a lower bunk next to the forecastle walls, with the promise that he would never step on deck again “until the brig was no longer a brig.” This was what the cook said as he threw him into the berth; it’s hard to say exactly what he meant by that. However, this whole situation ultimately became the key to my rescue, as will soon be revealed.

CHAPTER 5

For some minutes after the cook had left the forecastle, Augustus abandoned himself to despair, never hoping to leave the berth alive. He now came to the resolution of acquainting the first of the men who should come down with my situation, thinking it better to let me take my chance with the mutineers than perish of thirst in the hold,—for it had been ten days since I was first imprisoned, and my jug of water was not a plentiful supply even for four. As he was thinking on this subject, the idea came all at once into his head that it might be possible to communicate with me by the way of the main hold. In any other circumstances, the difficulty and hazard of the undertaking would have prevented him from attempting it; but now he had, at all events, little prospect of life, and consequently little to lose, he bent his whole mind, therefore, upon the task.

For a few minutes after the cook left the forecastle, Augustus sank into despair, never expecting to leave the berth alive. He decided to inform the first man who came down about my situation, believing it was better to risk my fate with the mutineers than to die of thirst in the hold. It had been ten days since I was first imprisoned, and my jug of water wasn’t enough even for four people. As he considered this, the thought suddenly struck him that it might be possible to communicate with me through the main hold. Under different circumstances, the difficulty and risk of the task would have stopped him from trying, but now he had little chance of survival and therefore little to lose, so he focused all his energy on the task.

His handcuffs were the first consideration. At first he saw no method of removing them, and feared that he should thus be baffled in the very outset; but upon a closer scrutiny he discovered that the irons could be slipped off and on at pleasure, with very little effort or inconvenience, merely by squeezing his hands through them,—this species of manacle being altogether ineffectual in confining young persons, in whom the smaller bones readily yield to pressure. He now untied his feet, and, leaving the cord in such a manner that it could easily be readjusted in the event of any person’s coming down, proceeded to examine the bulkhead where it joined the berth. The partition here was of soft pine board, an inch thick, and he saw that he should have little trouble in cutting his way through. A voice was now heard at the forecastle companion-way, and he had just time to put his right hand into its handcuff (the left had not been removed) and to draw the rope in a slipknot around his ankle, when Dirk Peters came below, followed by Tiger, who immediately leaped into the berth and lay down. The dog had been brought on board by Augustus, who knew my attachment to the animal, and thought it would give me pleasure to have him with me during the voyage. He went up to our house for him immediately after first taking me into the hold, but did not think of mentioning the circumstance upon his bringing the watch. Since the mutiny, Augustus had not seen him before his appearance with Dirk Peters, and had given him up for lost, supposing him to have been thrown overboard by some of the malignant villains belonging to the mate’s gang. It appeared afterward that he had crawled into a hole beneath a whale-boat, from which, not having room to turn round, he could not extricate himself. Peters at last let him out, and, with a species of good feeling which my friend knew well how to appreciate, had now brought him to him in the forecastle as a companion, leaving at the same time some salt junk and potatoes, with a can of water, he then went on deck, promising to come down with something more to eat on the next day.

His handcuffs were the first thing he considered. At first, he didn’t see any way to get them off, and he feared he’d be stuck right from the start. But after looking closer, he figured out that he could easily slip the cuffs on and off by just squeezing his hands through them. This type of restraint didn’t work well on young people, whose smaller bones could easily bend under pressure. He untied his feet, leaving the cord in a way that it could be quickly reattached if someone came down. Next, he checked the bulkhead where it met the berth. The partition was made of soft pine board, an inch thick, and he noticed he wouldn’t have much trouble cutting through it. Just then, he heard a voice by the forecastle stairs, and he quickly slipped his right hand into the cuff (the left one was still on) and tied a slipknot around his ankle just as Dirk Peters entered, followed by Tiger, who jumped into the berth and lay down. Augustus had brought the dog on board because he knew I loved him and thought it would make me happy to have him with me during the voyage. He went up to our house to get the dog right after first taking me into the hold but didn’t mention it when he brought the watch. Since the mutiny, Augustus hadn’t seen the dog until now and had assumed he was lost, thinking he’d been thrown overboard by some of the nasty villains from the mate’s gang. Later, it turned out the dog had crawled into a space under a whale-boat, and since it couldn’t turn around, he couldn’t get out. Eventually, Peters freed him and, with a kind gesture that my friend appreciated, brought him to the forecastle as a companion, leaving some salt junk and potatoes, along with a can of water. He then went back on deck, promising to come down with more food the next day.

When he had gone, Augustus freed both hands from the manacles and unfastened his feet. He then turned down the head of the mattress on which he had been lying, and with his penknife (for the ruffians had not thought it worth while to search him) commenced cutting vigorously across one of the partition planks, as closely as possible to the floor of the berth. He chose to cut here, because, if suddenly interrupted, he would be able to conceal what had been done by letting the head of the mattress fall into its proper position. For the remainder of the day, however, no disturbance occurred, and by night he had completely divided the plank. It should here be observed that none of the crew occupied the forecastle as a sleeping-place, living altogether in the cabin since the mutiny, drinking the wines and feasting on the sea-stores of Captain Barnard, and giving no more heed than was absolutely necessary to the navigation of the brig. These circumstances proved fortunate both for myself and Augustus; for, had matters been otherwise, he would have found it impossible to reach me. As it was, he proceeded with confidence in his design. It was near daybreak, however, before he completed the second division of the board (which was about a foot above the first cut), thus making an aperture quite large enough to admit his passage through with facility to the main orlop deck. Having got here, he made his way with but little trouble to the lower main hatch, although in so doing he had to scramble over tiers of oil-casks piled nearly as high as the upper deck, there being barely room enough left for his body. Upon reaching the hatch he found that Tiger had followed him below, squeezing between two rows of the casks. It was now too late, however, to attempt getting to me before dawn, as the chief difficulty lay in passing through the close stowage in the lower hold. He therefore resolved to return, and wait till the next night. With this design, he proceeded to loosen the hatch, so that he might have as little detention as possible when he should come again. No sooner had he loosened it than Tiger sprang eagerly to the small opening produced, snuffed for a moment, and then uttered a long whine, scratching at the same time, as if anxious to remove the covering with his paws. There could be no doubt, from his behaviour, that he was aware of my being in the hold, and Augustus thought it possible that he would be able to get to me if he put him down. He now hit upon the expedient of sending the note, as it was especially desirable that I should make no attempt at forcing my way out at least under existing circumstances, and there could be no certainty of his getting to me himself on the morrow as he intended. After-events proved how fortunate it was that the idea occurred to him as it did; for, had it not been for the receipt of the note, I should undoubtedly have fallen upon some plan, however desperate, of alarming the crew, and both our lives would most probably have been sacrificed in consequence.

After he left, Augustus removed his hands from the shackles and unfastened his feet. He then lowered the head of the mattress he had been lying on, and using his penknife (since the thugs hadn't bothered to search him), he started to cut vigorously across one of the partition planks, as close to the floor of the bunk as possible. He chose this spot to cut because if he were suddenly interrupted, he could hide what he had done by letting the head of the mattress fall back into place. Thankfully, there were no interruptions for the rest of the day, and by night, he had completely cut through the plank. It’s important to note that none of the crew were using the forecastle as a sleeping area, having moved entirely to the cabin after the mutiny, drinking the wines and feasting on Captain Barnard's sea-stock, paying little attention to the ship’s navigation. This worked in both my and Augustus's favor because, if things were different, he wouldn't have been able to reach me. As it was, he moved forward with his plan confidently. However, it was almost daybreak before he finished the second cut in the board (about a foot above the first), creating an opening large enough for him to pass through easily to the main orlop deck. Once there, he made it to the lower main hatch with little trouble, even though he had to climb over stacks of oil-casks piled nearly to the upper deck, with just enough room to squeeze through. When he reached the hatch, he realized Tiger had followed him down, slipping between two rows of casks. However, it was too late to get to me before dawn, as the main challenge was getting through the tightly packed lower hold. He decided to return and wait until the next night. To prepare, he loosened the hatch to minimize any delays when he came back. As soon as he did, Tiger eagerly jumped to the small opening, sniffed for a moment, then let out a long whine, scratching as if he wanted to remove the cover with his paws. There was no doubt from his behavior that he knew I was in the hold, and Augustus thought he might be able to reach me if he set Tiger down. He then came up with the idea of sending a note, especially since it was crucial that I not attempt to escape in the meantime, and he couldn’t be sure he’d make it to me the next day as planned. Later events proved how lucky it was that this idea struck him; if I hadn't received the note, I would have undoubtedly come up with some desperate plan to alert the crew, and we probably would have both lost our lives as a result.

Having concluded to write, the difficulty was now to procure the materials for so doing. An old toothpick was soon made into a pen; and this by means of feeling altogether, for the between-decks was as dark as pitch. Paper enough was obtained from the back of a letter—a duplicate of the forged letter from Mr. Ross. This had been the original draught; but the handwriting not being sufficiently well imitated, Augustus had written another, thrusting the first, by good fortune, into his coat-pocket, where it was now most opportunely discovered. Ink alone was thus wanting, and a substitute was immediately found for this by means of a slight incision with the pen-knife on the back of a finger just above the nail—a copious flow of blood ensuing, as usual, from wounds in that vicinity. The note was now written, as well as it could be in the dark and under the circumstances. It briefly explained that a mutiny had taken place; that Captain Barnard was set adrift; and that I might expect immediate relief as far as provisions were concerned, but must not venture upon making any disturbance. It concluded with these words: “I have scrawled this with blood—your life depends upon lying close.

Having decided to write, the challenge now was to gather the materials to do so. An old toothpick quickly became a pen; this was done by touch since the space below decks was as dark as pitch. Enough paper was found on the back of a letter—a duplicate of the forged letter from Mr. Ross. This had been the original draft; however, since the handwriting wasn't imitated well enough, Augustus wrote another version, accidentally putting the first draft into his coat pocket, where it was now conveniently discovered. Ink was the only thing missing, which was quickly substituted by making a small cut with the penknife on the back of a finger just above the nail—resulting in a typical flow of blood from wounds in that area. The note was now written as clearly as possible in the dark and under the circumstances. It briefly stated that a mutiny had occurred; that Captain Barnard had been set adrift; and that I could expect immediate provisions but should not cause any disturbance. It ended with these words: “I have scrawled this with blood—your life depends upon lying low.

This slip of paper being tied upon the dog, he was now put down the hatchway, and Augustus made the best of his way back to the forecastle, where he found no reason to believe that any of the crew had been in his absence. To conceal the hole in the partition, he drove his knife in just above it, and hung up a pea-jacket which he found in the berth. His handcuffs were then replaced, and also the rope around his ankles.

This slip of paper tied to the dog, he was now lowered down the hatchway, and Augustus hurried back to the forecastle, where he had no reason to think that any of the crew had been there while he was gone. To cover up the hole in the partition, he stabbed his knife just above it and hung up a pea jacket he found in the berth. He then had his handcuffs put back on, as well as the rope around his ankles.

These arrangements were scarcely completed when Dirk Peters came below, very drunk, but in excellent humour, and bringing with him my friend’s allowance of provision for the day. This consisted of a dozen large Irish potatoes roasted, and a pitcher of water. He sat for some time on a chest by the berth, and talked freely about the mate and the general concerns of the brig. His demeanour was exceedingly capricious, and even grotesque. At one time Augustus was much alarmed by odd conduct. At last, however, he went on deck, muttering a promise to bring his prisoner a good dinner on the morrow. During the day two of the crew (harpooners) came down, accompanied by the cook, all three in nearly the last stage of intoxication. Like Peters, they made no scruple of talking unreservedly about their plans. It appeared that they were much divided among themselves as to their ultimate course, agreeing in no point, except the attack on the ship from the Cape Verd Islands, with which they were in hourly expectation of meeting. As far as could be ascertained, the mutiny had not been brought about altogether for the sake of booty; a private pique of the chief mate’s against Captain Barnard having been the main instigation. There now seemed to be two principal factions among the crew—one headed by the mate, the other by the cook. The former party were for seizing the first suitable vessel which should present itself, and equipping it at some of the West India Islands for a piratical cruise. The latter division, however, which was the stronger, and included Dirk Peters among its partisans, were bent upon pursuing the course originally laid out for the brig into the South Pacific; there either to take whale, or act otherwise, as circumstances should suggest. The representations of Peters, who had frequently visited these regions, had great weight, apparently, with the mutineers, wavering, as they were, between half-engendered notions of profit and pleasure. He dwelt on the world of novelty and amusement to be found among the innumerable islands of the Pacific, on the perfect security and freedom from all restraint to be enjoyed, but, more particularly, on the deliciousness of the climate, on the abundant means of good living, and on the voluptuous beauty of the women. As yet, nothing had been absolutely determined upon; but the pictures of the hybrid line-manager were taking strong hold upon the ardent imaginations of the seamen, and there was every possibility that his intentions would be finally carried into effect.

These plans were barely finished when Dirk Peters came below, very drunk but in great spirits, bringing with him my friend's food supply for the day. This included a dozen large roasted Irish potatoes and a pitcher of water. He sat for a while on a chest by the berth and talked openly about the first mate and the overall situation of the brig. His behavior was extremely unpredictable and even ridiculous. At one point, Augustus was quite worried about his bizarre actions. Eventually, though, he went back on deck, mumbling a promise to bring his prisoner a nice dinner the next day. During the day, two crew members (harpooners) came down with the cook, all three nearly completely intoxicated. Like Peters, they had no hesitation in openly discussing their plans. It seemed they were quite divided about their next steps, agreeing on nothing except the attack on the ship from the Cape Verde Islands, which they expected to encounter at any moment. As far as could be determined, the mutiny wasn’t solely for the sake of plunder; rather, a personal grudge of the chief mate against Captain Barnard had been the main motivation. There now appeared to be two main factions among the crew—one led by the mate and the other by the cook. The former group wanted to seize the first suitable vessel that appeared and outfit it at one of the West Indies Islands for a piracy mission. However, the latter group, which was stronger and included Dirk Peters among its supporters, was committed to following the original plan for the brig into the South Pacific; there they intended to either hunt whales or act according to circumstances. The insights of Peters, who had frequently visited these areas, seemed to carry significant weight with the mutineers, who were torn between half-formed ideas of profit and enjoyment. He emphasized the world of novelty and fun among the countless islands of the Pacific, the total safety and freedom from restrictions to be experienced, but especially the delightful climate, the plentiful opportunities for good living, and the stunning beauty of the women. So far, nothing had been definitively decided; however, the images painted by the eclectic line-manager were capturing the seamen’s eager imaginations, and there was every chance that his plans would ultimately be put into action.

The three men went away in about an hour, and no one else entered the forecastle all day. Augustus lay quiet until nearly night. He then freed himself from the rope and irons, and prepared for his attempt. A bottle was found in one of the berths, and this he filled with water from the pitcher left by Peters, storing his pockets at the same time with cold potatoes. To his great joy he also came across a lantern, with a small piece of tallow candle in it. This he could light at any moment, as he had in his possession a box of phosphorus matches. When it was quite dark, he got through the hole in the bulkhead, having taken the precaution to arrange the bedclothes in the berth so as to convey the idea of a person covered up. When through, he hung up the pea-jacket on his knife, as before, to conceal the aperture—this manoeuvre being easily effected, as he did not readjust the piece of plank taken out until afterward. He was now on the main orlop deck, and proceeded to make his way, as before, between the upper deck and the oil-casks to the main hatchway. Having reached this, he lit the piece of candle, and descended, groping with extreme difficulty among the compact stowage of the hold. In a few moments he became alarmed at the insufferable stench and the closeness of the atmosphere. He could not think it possible that I had survived my confinement for so long a period breathing so oppressive an air. He called my name repeatedly, but I made him no reply, and his apprehensions seemed thus to be confirmed. The brig was rolling violently, and there was so much noise in consequence, that it was useless to listen for any weak sound, such as those of my breathing or snoring. He threw open the lantern, and held it as high as possible, whenever an opportunity occurred, in order that, by observing the light, I might, if alive, be aware that succor was approaching. Still nothing was heard from me, and the supposition of my death began to assume the character of certainty. He determined, nevertheless, to force a passage, if possible, to the box, and at least ascertain beyond a doubt the truth of his surmises. He pushed on for some time in a most pitiable state of anxiety, until, at length, he found the pathway utterly blocked up, and that there was no possibility of making any farther way by the course in which he had set out. Overcome now by his feelings, he threw himself among the lumber in despair, and wept like a child. It was at this period that he heard the crash occasioned by the bottle which I had thrown down. Fortunate, indeed, was it that the incident occurred—for, upon this incident, trivial as it appears, the thread of my destiny depended. Many years elapsed, however, before I was aware of this fact. A natural shame and regret for his weakness and indecision prevented Augustus from confiding to me at once what a more intimate and unreserved communion afterward induced him to reveal. Upon finding his further progress in the hold impeded by obstacles which he could not overcome, he had resolved to abandon his attempt at reaching me, and return at once to the forecastle. Before condemning him entirely on this head, the harassing circumstances which embarrassed him should be taken into consideration. The night was fast wearing away, and his absence from the forecastle might be discovered; and indeed would necessarily be so, if he should fail to get back to the berth by daybreak. His candle was expiring in the socket, and there would be the greatest difficulty in retracing his way to the hatchway in the dark. It must be allowed, too, that he had every good reason to believe me dead; in which event no benefit could result to me from his reaching the box, and a world of danger would be encountered to no purpose by himself. He had repeatedly called, and I had made him no answer. I had been now eleven days and nights with no more water than that contained in the jug which he had left with me—a supply which it was not at all probable I had hoarded in the beginning of my confinement, as I had every cause to expect a speedy release. The atmosphere of the hold, too, must have appeared to him, coming from the comparatively open air of the steerage, of a nature absolutely poisonous, and by far more intolerable than it had seemed to me upon my first taking up my quarters in the box—the hatchways at that time having been constantly open for many months previous. Add to these considerations that of the scene of bloodshed and terror so lately witnessed by my friend; his confinement, privations, and narrow escapes from death, together with the frail and equivocal tenure by which he still existed—circumstances all so well calculated to prostrate every energy of mind—and the reader will be easily brought, as I have been, to regard his apparent falling off in friendship and in faith with sentiments rather of sorrow than of anger.

The three men left after about an hour, and nobody else came into the forecastle all day. Augustus stayed quiet until nearly evening. He then freed himself from the rope and shackles and got ready for his escape. He found a bottle in one of the bunks, which he filled with water from the pitcher left by Peters, while also stuffing his pockets with cold potatoes. To his great relief, he also discovered a lantern with a small piece of tallow candle in it. He could light it at any time since he had a box of phosphorus matches. Once it was completely dark, he got through the hole in the bulkhead, having made the bed look like it was occupied. After climbing through, he hung up the pea jacket over his knife again to cover the hole. This was easy to do, as he didn't put the piece of plank back until later. Now he was on the main orlop deck and made his way, as before, between the upper deck and the oil casks to the main hatchway. When he reached it, he lit the piece of candle and went down, struggling to navigate through the tightly packed cargo in the hold. After a moment, he became worried about the unbearable stench and stuffiness of the air. He couldn't believe it was possible that I had survived in such oppressive conditions for so long. He called my name repeatedly, but I didn't respond, which seemed to confirm his fears. The brig was rolling violently, making so much noise that listening for any faint sounds, like my breathing or snoring, was useless. He opened the lantern and held it high whenever he had the chance, hoping that I might see the light if I was still alive. Still, he heard nothing from me, and the thought of my death started to feel more certain. He decided, however, to push through to the box and find out for sure if his fears were true. He moved on for a while, filled with anxiety, until he finally found the path completely blocked. There was no way to continue in the direction he had chosen. Overcome with emotion, he collapsed among the debris and wept like a child. It was at that moment he heard the crash from the bottle I had thrown down. It was fortunate that this happened—this seemingly trivial incident was crucial to my fate. However, it would be many years before I realized this. Natural shame and regret for his weakness kept Augustus from telling me right away what he later revealed in a closer and more open conversation. When he found his way hindered by obstacles, he decided to give up on trying to reach me and return to the forecastle. Before judging him too harshly, it’s important to consider the stressful circumstances he faced. The night was quickly passing, and his absence would be noticed; especially if he didn't make it back to the berth by daybreak. His candle was dying, and retracing his steps in the dark would be extremely difficult. He also had every reason to think I was dead; if that were the case, there would be no benefit in reaching the box, and he would face a lot of danger for no reason. He had called out repeatedly, and I hadn’t answered. I had now spent eleven days and nights with only the water from the jug he had left me—a supply I probably didn’t hoard at first since I expected to be freed soon. The air in the hold must have felt absolutely toxic compared to the relatively fresh air in the steerage, much worse than it had seemed when I first took up residence in the box—the hatches having been left open for many months before. Adding to these factors was the scene of violence and fear my friend had witnessed; his confinement, hardships, and close calls with death, along with the weak and uncertain situation he was in—conditions that could easily leave anyone feeling drained mentally—and it’s easy to understand, as I have, why his apparent loss of faith and friendship stirred more sorrow than anger.

The crash of the bottle was distinctly heard, yet Augustus was not sure that it proceeded from the hold. The doubt, however, was sufficient inducement to persevere. He clambered up nearly to the orlop deck by means of the stowage, and then, watching for a lull in the pitchings of the vessel, he called out to me in as loud a tone as he could command, regardless, for the moment, of being overheard by the crew. It will be remembered that on this occasion the voice reached me, but I was so entirely overcome by violent agitation as to be incapable of reply. Confident, now, that his worst apprehensions were well founded, he descended, with a view of getting back to the forecastle without loss of time. In his haste some small boxes were thrown down, the noise occasioned by which I heard, as will be recollected. He had made considerable progress on his return when the fall of the knife again caused him to hesitate. He retraced his steps immediately, and, clambering up the stowage a second time, called out my name, loudly as before, having watched for a lull. This time I found voice to answer. Overjoyed at discovering me to be still alive, he now resolved to brave every difficulty and danger in reaching me. Having extricated himself as quickly as possible from the labyrinth of lumber by which he was hemmed in, he at length struck into an opening which promised better, and finally, after a series of struggles, arrived at the box in a state of utter exhaustion.

The sound of the bottle crashing was clearly heard, but Augustus wasn't sure it came from the hold. Still, the uncertainty pushed him to keep going. He climbed up almost to the orlop deck using the stowage, and then, waiting for the ship to steady, he called out to me as loudly as he could, not caring at that moment if the crew overheard him. It will be remembered that I heard him, but I was so overwhelmed with intense anxiety that I couldn't respond. Now convinced that his worst fears were true, he went back down to get to the forecastle quickly. In his rush, he knocked over some small boxes, the noise of which I heard, as you may recall. He was making good progress on his way back when the knife falling again made him pause. He quickly retraced his steps, climbed up the stowage again, and called my name loudly as before, waiting for the ship to steady. This time, I managed to answer. Overjoyed to find out I was still alive, he decided to face any obstacles and dangers to reach me. After getting himself free as fast as he could from the maze of stuff that surrounded him, he finally found a path that looked promising and, after a struggle, made it to the box completely exhausted.

CHAPTER 6

The leading particulars of this narration were all that Augustus communicated to me while we remained near the box. It was not until afterward that he entered fully into all the details. He was apprehensive of being missed, and I was wild with impatience to leave my detested place of confinement. We resolved to make our way at once to the hole in the bulkhead, near which I was to remain for the present, while he went through to reconnoiter. To leave Tiger in the box was what neither of us could endure to think of, yet, how to act otherwise was the question. He now seemed to be perfectly quiet, and we could not even distinguish the sound of his breathing upon applying our ears closely to the box. I was convinced that he was dead, and determined to open the door. We found him lying at full length, apparently in a deep stupor, yet still alive. No time was to be lost, yet I could not bring myself to abandon an animal who had now been twice instrumental in saving my life, without some attempt at preserving him. We therefore dragged him along with us as well as we could, although with the greatest difficulty and fatigue; Augustus, during part of the time, being forced to clamber over the impediments in our way with the huge dog in his arms—a feat to which the feebleness of my frame rendered me totally inadequate. At length we succeeded in reaching the hole, when Augustus got through, and Tiger was pushed in afterward. All was found to be safe, and we did not fail to return sincere thanks to God for our deliverance from the imminent danger we had escaped. For the present, it was agreed that I should remain near the opening, through which my companion could readily supply me with a part of his daily provision, and where I could have the advantages of breathing an atmosphere comparatively pure.

The main details of this story were all that Augustus shared with me while we were near the box. It wasn’t until later that he revealed all the specifics. He was worried about being missed, and I was desperate to leave my hated confinement. We decided to head straight to the hole in the bulkhead, where I would stay for the moment while he went ahead to scout things out. The thought of leaving Tiger in the box was unbearable for both of us, but we couldn’t figure out any other way to proceed. He seemed perfectly calm, and we couldn't even hear him breathing when we pressed our ears against the box. I was convinced he was dead and resolved to open the door. We found him lying there, seemingly in a deep stupor, but still alive. We couldn’t waste any time, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave an animal that had saved my life twice without trying to rescue him. So, we dragged him along as best we could, despite the difficulty and exhaustion; at times, Augustus had to climb over obstacles with the large dog in his arms, something my frail body couldn’t manage at all. Finally, we reached the hole, and Augustus got through first, then we pushed Tiger in afterward. Everything was safe, and we remembered to thank God for our escape from the danger we had faced. For now, we agreed that I would stay near the opening, where my companion could easily bring me some of his daily rations, and where I could enjoy a comparatively fresh atmosphere.

In explanation of some portions of this narrative, wherein I have spoken of the stowage of the brig, and which may appear ambiguous to some of my readers who may have seen a proper or regular stowage, I must here state that the manner in which this most important duty had been performed on board the Grampus was a most shameful piece of neglect on the part of Captain Barnard, who was by no means as careful or as experienced a seaman as the hazardous nature of the service on which he was employed would seem necessarily to demand. A proper stowage cannot be accomplished in a careless manner, and many most disastrous accidents, even within the limits of my own experience, have arisen from neglect or ignorance in this particular. Coasting vessels, in the frequent hurry and bustle attendant upon taking in or discharging cargo, are the most liable to mishap from the want of a proper attention to stowage. The great point is to allow no possibility of the cargo or ballast shifting position even in the most violent rollings of the vessel. With this end, great attention must be paid, not only to the bulk taken in, but to the nature of the bulk, and whether there be a full or only a partial cargo. In most kinds of freight the stowage is accomplished by means of a screw. Thus, in a load of tobacco or flour, the whole is screwed so tightly into the hold of the vessel that the barrels or hogsheads, upon discharging, are found to be completely flattened, and take some time to regain their original shape. This screwing, however, is resorted to principally with a view of obtaining more room in the hold; for in a full load of any such commodities as flour or tobacco, there can be no danger of any shifting whatever, at least none from which inconvenience can result. There have been instances, indeed, where this method of screwing has resulted in the most lamentable consequences, arising from a cause altogether distinct from the danger attendant upon a shifting of cargo. A load of cotton, for example, tightly screwed while in certain conditions, has been known, through the expansion of its bulk, to rend a vessel asunder at sea. There can be no doubt either that the same result would ensue in the case of tobacco, while undergoing its usual course of fermentation, were it not for the interstices consequent upon the rotundity of the hogsheads.

In explaining some parts of this story, where I've talked about how the brig was loaded, which might seem ambiguous to some readers who have seen proper or regular stowage, I must clarify that the way this critical task was carried out on the Grampus was a disgraceful neglect by Captain Barnard. He was not nearly as careful or experienced as the risky nature of his job required. Proper stowage cannot be done carelessly, and many disastrous accidents, even in my own experience, have come from neglect or lack of knowledge in this area. Coasting vessels, often in a hurry and bustling while loading or unloading cargo, are the most likely to face mishaps due to improper stowage. The key point is to prevent any possibility of the cargo or ballast shifting, even during the most violent rolling of the vessel. To achieve this, great attention must be paid both to the amount of cargo being taken on board and to the nature of that cargo, whether it is a full load or only a partial one. In most types of freight, stowage is done using a screw. For example, in a load of tobacco or flour, everything is screwed so tightly into the hold of the vessel that the barrels or hogsheads, when unloaded, are found to be completely flattened, taking time to regain their original shape. This screwing is mainly done to maximize space in the hold; with a full load of items like flour or tobacco, there’s typically no danger of shifting, at least none that would cause inconvenience. There have, however, been cases where this method of screwing led to extremely unfortunate outcomes, stemming from causes entirely unrelated to the danger of shifting cargo. A load of cotton, for instance, tightly screwed under certain conditions has been known to tear a vessel apart at sea due to the expansion of its bulk. It’s also certain that the same thing could happen with tobacco while it ferments if it weren't for the spaces created by the round shape of the hogsheads.

It is when a partial cargo is received that danger is chiefly to be apprehended from shifting, and that precautions should be always taken to guard against such misfortune. Only those who have encountered a violent gale of wind, or rather who have experienced the rolling of a vessel in a sudden calm after the gale, can form an idea of the tremendous force of the plunges, and of the consequent terrible impetus given to all loose articles in the vessel. It is then that the necessity of a cautious stowage, when there is a partial cargo, becomes obvious. When lying-to (especially with a small head sail), a vessel which is not properly modelled in the bows is frequently thrown upon her beam-ends; this occurring even every fifteen or twenty minutes upon an average, yet without any serious consequences resulting, provided there be a proper stowage. If this, however, has not been strictly attended to, in the first of these heavy lurches the whole of the cargo tumbles over to the side of the vessel which lies upon the water, and, being thus prevented from regaining her equilibrium, as she would otherwise necessarily do, she is certain to fill in a few seconds and go down. It is not too much to say that at least one-half of the instances in which vessels have foundered in heavy gales at sea may be attributed to a shifting of cargo or of ballast.

It's when a partial cargo is on board that the real danger comes from shifting, and that's when precautions should always be taken to avoid such misfortune. Only those who have faced a violent storm, or who have felt a ship roll suddenly calm after the storm, can understand the incredible force of the plunges and the terrible momentum it gives to all loose items on the ship. That's when it's clear how important careful stowage is when there's a partial cargo. When lying-to (especially with a small headsail), a vessel that’s not designed properly in the bow can often tip onto its side; this can happen every fifteen or twenty minutes on average, but usually without serious consequences if the stowage is done right. However, if it hasn’t been done properly, during the first heavy lurch, the entire cargo can shift to the side of the ship that’s in the water. Since it can’t regain its balance as it normally would, it will likely fill up with water and sink within seconds. It's fair to say that at least half of the cases where ships have sunk in bad storms can be traced back to cargo or ballast shifting.

When a partial cargo of any kind is taken on board, the whole, after being first stowed as compactly as may be, should be covered with a layer of stout shifting-boards, extending completely across the vessel. Upon these boards strong temporary stanchions should be erected, reaching to the timbers above, and thus securing every thing in its place. In cargoes consisting of grain, or any similar matter, additional precautions are requisite. A hold filled entirely with grain upon leaving port will be found not more than three fourths full upon reaching its destination—this, too, although the freight, when measured bushel by bushel by the consignee, will overrun by a vast deal (on account of the swelling of the grain) the quantity consigned. This result is occasioned by settling during the voyage, and is the more perceptible in proportion to the roughness of the weather experienced. If grain loosely thrown in a vessel, then, is ever so well secured by shifting-boards and stanchions, it will be liable to shift in a long passage so greatly as to bring about the most distressing calamities. To prevent these, every method should be employed before leaving port to settle the cargo as much as possible; and for this there are many contrivances, among which may be mentioned the driving of wedges into the grain. Even after all this is done, and unusual pains taken to secure the shifting-boards, no seaman who knows what he is about will feel altogether secure in a gale of any violence with a cargo of grain on board, and, least of all, with a partial cargo. Yet there are hundreds of our coasting vessels, and, it is likely, many more from the ports of Europe, which sail daily with partial cargoes, even of the most dangerous species, and without any precaution whatever. The wonder is that no more accidents occur than do actually happen. A lamentable instance of this heedlessness occurred to my knowledge in the case of Captain Joel Rice of the schooner Firefly, which sailed from Richmond, Virginia, to Madeira, with a cargo of corn, in the year 1825. The captain had gone many voyages without serious accident, although he was in the habit of paying no attention whatever to his stowage, more than to secure it in the ordinary manner. He had never before sailed with a cargo of grain, and on this occasion had the corn thrown on board loosely, when it did not much more than half fill the vessel. For the first portion of the voyage he met with nothing more than light breezes; but when within a day’s sail of Madeira there came on a strong gale from the N. N. E. which forced him to lie-to. He brought the schooner to the wind under a double-reefed foresail alone, when she rode as well as any vessel could be expected to do, and shipped not a drop of water. Toward night the gale somewhat abated, and she rolled with more unsteadiness than before, but still did very well, until a heavy lurch threw her upon her beam-ends to starboard. The corn was then heard to shift bodily, the force of the movement bursting open the main hatchway. The vessel went down like a shot. This happened within hail of a small sloop from Madeira, which picked up one of the crew (the only person saved), and which rode out the gale in perfect security, as indeed a jolly boat might have done under proper management.

When a partial cargo of any kind is loaded, it should be stowed as compactly as possible, then covered with a sturdy layer of shifting boards that extend all the way across the vessel. On top of these boards, strong temporary supports should be put in place, reaching the beams above to secure everything. For cargoes that consist of grain or similar materials, more precautions are needed. A hold filled entirely with grain when leaving port may only be three-quarters full upon arrival—this happens even though the consignee measures the cargo and finds it exceeds the original amount due to the grain swelling. This loss is due to settling during the journey, which becomes more noticeable in rough weather. If grain is loosely packed in a vessel, even if it is well secured with boards and supports, it may shift significantly during a long trip and cause serious problems. To avoid these issues, every effort should be made before departure to compact the cargo as much as possible. Various methods exist for this, including driving wedges into the grain. Even with all precautions taken and the shifting boards secured, no experienced sailor feels completely safe in a strong gale with a grain cargo on board, especially with a partial cargo. Yet there are hundreds of coasting vessels, and likely many more from European ports, that sail daily with partial cargoes, even of the most risky kind, without any precautions at all. It’s surprising that more accidents don’t happen. A sad example of this carelessness is the case of Captain Joel Rice of the schooner Firefly, who sailed from Richmond, Virginia, to Madeira in 1825 with a load of corn. The captain had completed many voyages without serious incidents, although he typically paid little attention to how he stowed the cargo beyond basic securing. He had never previously shipped grain, and on this occasion, he had the corn loosely loaded, filling the vessel only halfway. During the early part of the journey, he encountered only light breezes, but as he approached Madeira, a strong gale from the north-northeast forced him to stop. He used a double-reefed foresail and successfully managed the sails without taking on any water. As night approached, the wind eased a bit, and the vessel rolled more unsteadily, yet it still performed adequately until a heavy lurch caused her to tip onto her side. The corn then shifted violently, causing the main hatch to burst open. The vessel sank quickly. This occurred near a small sloop from Madeira, which rescued one member of the crew (the only survivor) and weathered the gale securely, just as a well-handled small boat would.

The stowage on board the Grampus was most clumsily done, if stowage that could be called which was little better than a promiscuous huddling together of oil-casks {*1} and ship furniture. I have already spoken of the condition of articles in the hold. On the orlop deck there was space enough for my body (as I have stated) between the oil-casks and the upper deck; a space was left open around the main hatchway; and several other large spaces were left in the stowage. Near the hole cut through the bulkhead by Augustus there was room enough for an entire cask, and in this space I found myself comfortably situated for the present.

The storage on the Grampus was done very poorly, if you can even call it storage, since it was mostly just a messy pile of oil barrels and ship furniture. I've already mentioned the state of the items in the hold. On the orlop deck, there was enough room for my body (as I mentioned) between the oil barrels and the upper deck; a space was left clear around the main hatchway; and there were several other large gaps in the storage. Near the hole cut in the bulkhead by Augustus, there was enough room for an entire barrel, and in this space, I found myself comfortably settled for the moment.

By the time my friend had got safely into the berth, and readjusted his handcuffs and the rope, it was broad daylight. We had made a narrow escape indeed; for scarcely had he arranged all matters, when the mate came below, with Dirk Peters and the cook. They talked for some time about the vessel from the Cape Verds, and seemed to be excessively anxious for her appearance. At length the cook came to the berth in which Augustus was lying, and seated himself in it near the head. I could see and hear every thing from my hiding-place, for the piece cut out had not been put back, and I was in momentary expectation that the negro would fall against the pea-jacket, which was hung up to conceal the aperture, in which case all would have been discovered, and our lives would, no doubt, have been instantly sacrificed. Our good fortune prevailed, however; and although he frequently touched it as the vessel rolled, he never pressed against it sufficiently to bring about a discovery. The bottom of the jacket had been carefully fastened to the bulkhead, so that the hole might not be seen by its swinging to one side. All this time Tiger was lying in the foot of the berth, and appeared to have recovered in some measure his faculties, for I could see him occasionally open his eyes and draw a long breath.

By the time my friend got safely into the bunk and adjusted his handcuffs and the rope, it was broad daylight. We had really made a narrow escape; as soon as he got everything in order, the first mate came below, along with Dirk Peters and the cook. They talked for a while about the ship coming from the Cape Verdes and seemed really anxious for her arrival. Eventually, the cook came to the bunk where Augustus was lying and sat down near his head. I could see and hear everything from my hiding spot because the piece cut out hadn’t been put back, and I was constantly worried that the cook would lean against the pea jacket hung up to cover the hole. If that happened, everything would be discovered, and our lives would surely be on the line. Fortunately, luck was on our side; even though he brushed against it as the ship rocked, he never leaned on it hard enough to reveal our hiding place. The bottom of the jacket was carefully secured to the wall so that the gap wouldn’t be visible when it swung aside. During all this time, Tiger was lying at the foot of the bunk and seemed to have regained some of his senses, as I could occasionally see him open his eyes and take a deep breath.

After a few minutes the mate and cook went above, leaving Dirk Peters behind, who, as soon as they were gone, came and sat himself down in the place just occupied by the mate. He began to talk very sociably with Augustus, and we could now see that the greater part of his apparent intoxication, while the two others were with him, was a feint. He answered all my companion’s questions with perfect freedom; told him that he had no doubt of his father’s having been picked up, as there were no less than five sail in sight just before sundown on the day he was cut adrift; and used other language of a consolatory nature, which occasioned me no less surprise than pleasure. Indeed, I began to entertain hopes, that through the instrumentality of Peters we might be finally enabled to regain possession of the brig, and this idea I mentioned to Augustus as soon as I found an opportunity. He thought the matter possible, but urged the necessity of the greatest caution in making the attempt, as the conduct of the hybrid appeared to be instigated by the most arbitrary caprice alone; and, indeed, it was difficult to say if he was at any moment of sound mind. Peters went upon deck in about an hour, and did not return again until noon, when he brought Augustus a plentiful supply of junk beef and pudding. Of this, when we were left alone, I partook heartily, without returning through the hole. No one else came down into the forecastle during the day, and at night, I got into Augustus’ berth, where I slept soundly and sweetly until nearly daybreak, when he awakened me upon hearing a stir upon deck, and I regained my hiding-place as quickly as possible. When the day was fully broke, we found that Tiger had recovered his strength almost entirely, and gave no indications of hydrophobia, drinking a little water that was offered him with great apparent eagerness. During the day he regained all his former vigour and appetite. His strange conduct had been brought on, no doubt, by the deleterious quality of the air of the hold, and had no connexion with canine madness. I could not sufficiently rejoice that I had persisted in bringing him with me from the box. This day was the thirtieth of June, and the thirteenth since the Grampus made sail from Nantucket.

After a few minutes, the first mate and the cook went above deck, leaving Dirk Peters behind. As soon as they were gone, he came and sat down in the spot just vacated by the mate. He started chatting casually with Augustus, and we could now see that most of his earlier drunkenness was just an act. He answered all my companion’s questions freely; he told him he was sure his father had been rescued since there were at least five ships in sight just before sundown on the day he was set adrift; and he used other comforting words that surprised and pleased me. In fact, I began to have hopes that through Peters we might finally be able to take back the brig, which I mentioned to Augustus as soon as I had the chance. He thought it was possible, but emphasized the need for extreme caution in making the attempt, as the behavior of the hybrid seemed to be driven by nothing but whim; it was also hard to tell if he was of sound mind at any moment. Peters went on deck about an hour later and didn’t return until noon, when he brought Augustus a good supply of junk beef and pudding. When we were alone, I enjoyed it heartily, without going back through the hole. No one else came down into the forecastle that day, and at night, I got into Augustus’ bunk, where I slept soundly until nearly daybreak, when he woke me upon hearing some noise on deck, and I quickly returned to my hiding spot. When the sun was fully up, we saw that Tiger had almost completely regained his strength and showed no signs of rabies, drinking a little water offered to him with great eagerness. Throughout the day, he regained his former vigor and appetite. His odd behavior was most likely caused by the bad air in the hold and had nothing to do with canine madness. I couldn’t be happier that I had insisted on bringing him with me from the box. This day was June thirtieth and the thirteenth since the Grampus set sail from Nantucket.

On the second of July the mate came below drunk as usual, and in an excessively good-humor. He came to Augustus’s berth, and, giving him a slap on the back, asked him if he thought he could behave himself if he let him loose, and whether he would promise not to be going into the cabin again. To this, of course, my friend answered in the affirmative, when the ruffian set him at liberty, after making him drink from a flask of rum which he drew from his coat-pocket. Both now went on deck, and I did not see Augustus for about three hours. He then came below with the good news that he had obtained permission to go about the brig as he pleased anywhere forward of the mainmast, and that he had been ordered to sleep, as usual, in the forecastle. He brought me, too, a good dinner, and a plentiful supply of water. The brig was still cruising for the vessel from the Cape Verds, and a sail was now in sight, which was thought to be the one in question. As the events of the ensuing eight days were of little importance, and had no direct bearing upon the main incidents of my narrative, I will here throw them into the form of a journal, as I do not wish to omit them altogether.

On July 2nd, the first mate came below deck, as usual, drunk and in a really good mood. He approached Augustus’s bunk, slapped him on the back, and asked if he thought he could behave if he let him free, and whether he would promise not to go into the cabin again. Augustus, of course, said yes, so the guy let him go after making him drink from a flask of rum he pulled from his coat pocket. They both went on deck, and I didn’t see Augustus for about three hours. When he finally returned, he had great news: he got permission to move around the brig freely anywhere in front of the mainmast, and he was told to sleep in the forecastle like usual. He also brought me a nice dinner and plenty of water. The brig was still searching for the vessel from the Cape Verds, and a sail was now spotted that was believed to be the one in question. Since the events of the next eight days weren’t particularly significant and didn’t directly relate to the main events of my story, I’ll summarize them in a journal format, as I don’t want to skip over them completely.

July 3. Augustus furnished me with three blankets, with which I contrived a comfortable bed in my hiding-place. No one came below, except my companion, during the day. Tiger took his station in the berth just by the aperture, and slept heavily, as if not yet entirely recovered from the effects of his sickness. Toward night a flaw of wind struck the brig before sail could be taken in, and very nearly capsized her. The puff died away immediately, however, and no damage was done beyond the splitting of the foretopsail. Dirk Peters treated Augustus all this day with great kindness and entered into a long conversation with him respecting the Pacific Ocean, and the islands he had visited in that region. He asked him whether he would not like to go with the mutineers on a kind of exploring and pleasure voyage in those quarters, and said that the men were gradually coming over to the mate’s views. To this Augustus thought it best to reply that he would be glad to go on such an adventure, since nothing better could be done, and that any thing was preferable to a piratical life.

July 3. Augustus gave me three blankets, which I used to make a comfy bed in my hiding spot. No one came downstairs during the day except for my companion. Tiger settled into the berth right by the opening and slept deeply, as if he wasn't fully recovered from his illness yet. As night approached, a gust of wind hit the brig before we could take in the sails, almost capsizing her. Thankfully, the gust faded quickly, and the only damage was a torn foretopsail. Dirk Peters treated Augustus very kindly all day and engaged him in a long conversation about the Pacific Ocean and the islands he had visited there. He asked Augustus if he would be interested in joining the mutineers on a kind of exploring and pleasure trip in that area, mentioning that the crew was gradually coming around to the mate’s ideas. Augustus thought it best to respond that he would be happy to go on such an adventure since nothing could be better, and anything was preferable to a life of piracy.

July 4th. The vessel in sight proved to be a small brig from Liverpool, and was allowed to pass unmolested. Augustus spent most of his time on deck, with a view of obtaining all the information in his power respecting the intentions of the mutineers. They had frequent and violent quarrels among themselves, in one of which a harpooner, Jim Bonner, was thrown overboard. The party of the mate was gaining ground. Jim Bonner belonged to the cook’s gang, of which Peters was a partisan.

July 4th. The ship in sight turned out to be a small brig from Liverpool, and it was allowed to pass without any interference. Augustus spent most of his time on deck, trying to gather as much information as he could about the mutineers' intentions. They often had intense and violent arguments among themselves, during one of which a harpooner named Jim Bonner was thrown overboard. The mate's group was gaining power. Jim Bonner was part of the cook's crew, which Peters supported.

July 5th. About daybreak there came on a stiff breeze from the west, which at noon freshened into a gale, so that the brig could carry nothing more than her trysail and foresail. In taking in the foretopsail, Simms, one of the common hands, and belonging also to the cook’s gang, fell overboard, being very much in liquor, and was drowned—no attempt being made to save him. The whole number of persons on board was now thirteen, to wit: Dirk Peters; Seymour, the black cook; Jones, Greely, Hartman Rogers and William Allen, all of the cook’s party; the mate, whose name I never learned; Absalom Hicks, Wilson, John Hunty Richard Parker, of the mate’s party;—besides Augustus and myself.

July 5th. Around dawn, a strong breeze came in from the west, which turned into a gale by noon, causing the brig to be able to sail with only her trysail and foresail. While taking in the foretopsail, Simms, one of the crew members who also worked with the cook, fell overboard after having too much to drink and drowned—no one made an effort to save him. The total number of people on board was now thirteen, including: Dirk Peters; Seymour, the black cook; Jones, Greely, Hartman Rogers, and William Allen, all from the cook’s group; the mate, whose name I never learned; Absalom Hicks, Wilson, John Hunty, Richard Parker, from the mate’s group;—besides Augustus and me.

July 6th. The gale lasted all this day, blowing in heavy squalls, accompanied with rain. The brig took in a good deal of water through her seams, and one of the pumps was kept continually going, Augustus being forced to take his turn. Just at twilight a large ship passed close by us, without having been discovered until within hail. The ship was supposed to be the one for which the mutineers were on the lookout. The mate hailed her, but the reply was drowned in the roaring of the gale. At eleven, a sea was shipped amidships, which tore away a great portion of the larboard bulwarks, and did some other slight damage. Toward morning the weather moderated, and at sunrise there was very little wind.

July 6th. The strong wind continued all day, blowing in heavy squalls with rain. The brig took on a lot of water through its seams, and one of the pumps was kept running constantly, with Augustus having to take his turn. Just at twilight, a large ship passed close by us, not being noticed until we could shout to it. It was believed to be the ship the mutineers were searching for. The mate called out to her, but his voice was drowned out by the sound of the wind. At eleven, a wave hit the middle of the ship, which ripped away a large part of the port side bulwarks and caused some other minor damage. Toward morning, the weather calmed down, and by sunrise, there was very little wind.

July 7th. There was a heavy swell running all this day, during which the brig, being light, rolled excessively, and many articles broke loose in the hold, as I could hear distinctly from my hiding-place. I suffered a great deal from sea-sickness. Peters had a long conversation this day with Augustus, and told him that two of his gang, Greely and Allen, had gone over to the mate, and were resolved to turn pirates. He put several questions to Augustus which he did not then exactly understand. During a part of this evening the leak gained upon the vessel; and little could be done to remedy it, as it was occasioned by the brig's straining, and taking in the water through her seams. A sail was thrummed, and got under the bows, which aided us in some measure, so that we began to gain upon the leak.

July 7th. There was a strong swell all day, and since the brig was light, it rolled a lot, causing many things to break loose in the hold, which I could hear clearly from my hiding place. I felt really nauseous from seasickness. Peters had a long talk today with Augustus and told him that two of his crew members, Greely and Allen, had switched sides and were determined to become pirates. He asked Augustus several questions that he didn't fully understand at the time. During part of the evening, the leak in the vessel worsened; not much could be done to fix it since it was caused by the brig straining and taking in water through its seams. A sail was rigged and placed under the bow, which helped us a bit, allowing us to start gaining on the leak.

July 8th. A light breeze sprang up at sunrise from the eastward, when the mate headed the brig to the southwest, with the intention of making some of the West India islands in pursuance of his piratical designs. No opposition was made by Peters or the cook—at least none in the hearing of Augustus. All idea of taking the vessel from the Cape Verds was abandoned. The leak was now easily kept under by one pump going every three quarters of an hour. The sail was drawn from beneath the bows. Spoke two small schooners during the day.

July 8th. A light breeze picked up at sunrise from the east as the mate steered the brig southwest, planning to reach some of the West Indies islands to carry out his piratical plans. Neither Peters nor the cook objected—at least none that Augustus heard. The idea of taking the vessel from the Cape Verds was completely dropped. The leak was now manageable with one pump running every three quarters of an hour. The sail was pulled out from under the bows. They spotted two small schooners during the day.

July 9th. Fine weather. All hands employed in repairing bulwarks. Peters had again a long conversation with Augustus, and spoke more plainly than he had done heretofore. He said nothing should induce him to come into the mate’s views, and even hinted his intention of taking the brig out of his hands. He asked my friend if he could depend upon his aid in such case, to which Augustus said, “Yes,” without hesitation. Peters then said he would sound the others of his party upon the subject, and went away. During the remainder of the day Augustus had no opportunity of speaking with him privately.

July 9th. Nice weather. Everyone was busy fixing the bulwarks. Peters had another long talk with Augustus and was more straightforward than before. He said nothing would make him agree with the mate’s opinions and even suggested he might take control of the brig. He asked my friend if he could count on his support in that case, to which Augustus replied, “Yes,” without hesitation. Peters then said he would check with the others in his group about it and left. For the rest of the day, Augustus didn’t get a chance to talk to him privately.

CHAPTER 7

July 10. Spoke a brig from Rio, bound to Norfolk. Weather hazy, with a light baffling wind from the eastward. To-day Hartman Rogers died, having been attacked on the eighth with spasms after drinking a glass of grog. This man was of the cook’s party, and one upon whom Peters placed his main reliance. He told Augustus that he believed the mate had poisoned him, and that he expected, if he did not be on the look-out, his own turn would come shortly. There were now only himself, Jones, and the cook belonging to his own gang—on the other side there were five. He had spoken to Jones about taking the command from the mate; but the project having been coolly received, he had been deterred from pressing the matter any further, or from saying any thing to the cook. It was well, as it happened, that he was so prudent, for in the afternoon the cook expressed his determination of siding with the mate, and went over formally to that party; while Jones took an opportunity of quarrelling with Peters, and hinted that he would let the mate know of the plan in agitation. There was now, evidently, no time to be lost, and Peters expressed his determination of attempting to take the vessel at all hazards, provided Augustus would lend him his aid. My friend at once assured him of his willingness to enter into any plan for that purpose, and, thinking the opportunity a favourable one, made known the fact of my being on board. At this the hybrid was not more astonished than delighted, as he had no reliance whatever upon Jones, whom he already considered as belonging to the party of the mate. They went below immediately, when Augustus called to me by name, and Peters and myself were soon made acquainted. It was agreed that we should attempt to retake the vessel upon the first good opportunity, leaving Jones altogether out of our councils. In the event of success, we were to run the brig into the first port that offered, and deliver her up. The desertion of his party had frustrated Peters’ design of going into the Pacific—an adventure which could not be accomplished without a crew, and he depended upon either getting acquitted upon trial, on the score of insanity (which he solemnly avowed had actuated him in lending his aid to the mutiny), or upon obtaining a pardon, if found guilty, through the representations of Augustus and myself. Our deliberations were interrupted for the present by the cry of, “All hands take in sail,” and Peters and Augustus ran up on deck.

July 10. Spoke to a brig from Rio, heading to Norfolk. The weather was hazy, with a light, confusing wind coming from the east. Today, Hartman Rogers died after having spasms on the eighth after drinking a glass of grog. He was part of the cook’s group and someone whom Peters heavily relied on. He told Augustus that he thought the mate had poisoned him and that if he didn’t watch himself, his time would come soon. Now, it was just him, Jones, and the cook left from his group—on the other side, there were five. He had talked to Jones about taking command from the mate, but since the idea was met with indifference, he didn’t push it any further or mention it to the cook. Luckily, he was cautious because, in the afternoon, the cook declared he would side with the mate and officially switched over to that group; meanwhile, Jones took the chance to argue with Peters and hinted that he would inform the mate about their plans. There was clearly no time to waste, and Peters decided he would try to take the vessel at all costs if Augustus agreed to help him. My friend immediately affirmed his willingness to be part of any plan for that goal and, seeing a good opportunity, revealed that I was on board. This news surprised and delighted Peters, who had no trust in Jones, believing he was already with the mate's group. They went below deck right away, and Augustus called me by name, soon introducing me to Peters. We agreed to try to retake the vessel at the first chance, completely excluding Jones from our plans. If we succeeded, we would take the brig to the first port we found and turn her in. Peters’ original plan to go into the Pacific was thwarted by the desertion of his group—an adventure that couldn’t be pulled off without a crew. He hoped to either be acquitted at trial by claiming insanity (which he earnestly said drove him to support the mutiny) or to win a pardon from Augustus and me if he was found guilty. Our discussion was interrupted by the shout of, “All hands take in sail,” and Peters and Augustus hurried up on deck.

As usual, the crew were nearly all drunk; and, before sail could be properly taken in, a violent squall laid the brig on her beam-ends. By keeping her away, however, she righted, having shipped a good deal of water. Scarcely was everything secure, when another squall took the vessel, and immediately afterward another—no damage being done. There was every appearance of a gale of wind, which, indeed, shortly came on, with great fury, from the northward and westward. All was made as snug as possible, and we laid-to, as usual, under a close-reefed foresail. As night drew on, the wind increased in violence, with a remarkably heavy sea. Peters now came into the forecastle with Augustus, and we resumed our deliberations.

As usual, the crew was almost entirely drunk, and before we could properly take in the sails, a strong squall tipped the brig onto its side. However, by steering it away, we managed to right it, even though we took on quite a bit of water. Just as we secured everything, another squall hit the vessel, followed quickly by yet another, but we suffered no damage. It looked like a gale was brewing, which indeed came on strong from the north and west. We made everything as secure as we could and hove-to, as usual, under a closely reefed foresail. As night approached, the wind picked up in intensity, creating a particularly heavy sea. Peters then joined Augustus in the forecastle, and we continued our discussions.

We agreed that no opportunity could be more favourable than the present for carrying our designs into effect, as an attempt at such a moment would never be anticipated. As the brig was snugly laid-to, there would be no necessity of manoeuvring her until good weather, when, if we succeeded in our attempt, we might liberate one, or perhaps two of the men, to aid us in taking her into port. The main difficulty was the great disproportion in our forces. There were only three of us, and in the cabin there were nine. All the arms on board, too, were in their possession, with the exception of a pair of small pistols which Peters had concealed about his person, and the large seaman’s knife which he always wore in the waistband of his pantaloons. From certain indications, too—such, for example, as there being no such thing as an axe or a handspike lying in their customary places—we began to fear that the mate had his suspicions, at least in regard to Peters, and that he would let slip no opportunity of getting rid of him. It was clear, indeed, that what we should determine to do could not be done too soon. Still the odds were too much against us to allow of our proceeding without the greatest caution.

We agreed that there was no better time than now to put our plans into action, since trying something at this moment wouldn’t be expected. With the brig safely anchored, we wouldn’t need to maneuver her until the weather got better. If we were successful, we might free one or maybe two of the guys to help us take her into port. The main problem was the significant mismatch in our numbers. There were only three of us, while nine were in the cabin. All the weapons on board were in their hands, except for a couple of small pistols that Peters had hidden on him and the big sailor's knife he always kept in his waistband. We also noticed signs—like the absence of an axe or a handspike in their usual spots—that made us worry the mate suspected Peters and would jump at the chance to get rid of him. It was clear that whatever we decided to do, we needed to do it quickly. Still, the odds were too stacked against us to move forward without extreme caution.

Peters proposed that he should go up on deck, and enter into conversation with the watch (Allen), when he would be able to throw him into the sea without trouble, and without making any disturbance, by seizing a good opportunity, that Augustus and myself should then come up, and endeavour to provide ourselves with some kind of weapons from the deck, and that we should then make a rush together, and secure the companion-way before any opposition could be offered. I objected to this, because I could not believe that the mate (who was a cunning fellow in all matters which did not affect his superstitious prejudices) would suffer himself to be so easily entrapped. The very fact of there being a watch on deck at all was sufficient proof that he was upon the alert,—it not being usual except in vessels where discipline is most rigidly enforced, to station a watch on deck when a vessel is lying-to in a gale of wind. As I address myself principally, if not altogether, to persons who have never been to sea, it may be as well to state the exact condition of a vessel under such circumstances. Lying-to, or, in sea-parlance, “laying-to,” is a measure resorted to for various purposes, and effected in various manners. In moderate weather it is frequently done with a view of merely bringing the vessel to a stand-still, to wait for another vessel or any similar object. If the vessel which lies-to is under full sail, the manoeuvre is usually accomplished by throwing round some portion of her sails, so as to let the wind take them aback, when she becomes stationary. But we are now speaking of lying-to in a gale of wind. This is done when the wind is ahead, and too violent to admit of carrying sail without danger of capsizing; and sometimes even when the wind is fair, but the sea too heavy for the vessel to be put before it. If a vessel be suffered to scud before the wind in a very heavy sea, much damage is usually done her by the shipping of water over her stern, and sometimes by the violent plunges she makes forward. This manoeuvre, then, is seldom resorted to in such case, unless through necessity. When the vessel is in a leaky condition she is often put before the wind even in the heaviest seas; for, when lying-to, her seams are sure to be greatly opened by her violent straining, and it is not so much the case when scudding. Often, too, it becomes necessary to scud a vessel, either when the blast is so exceedingly furious as to tear in pieces the sail which is employed with a view of bringing her head to the wind, or when, through the false modelling of the frame or other causes, this main object cannot be effected.

Peters suggested that he should go up on deck and start chatting with the watch (Allen), which would give him the chance to throw him overboard without causing any fuss. Meanwhile, Augustus and I would come up to try to grab some kind of weapon from the deck, and then we would rush together to secure the companionway before anyone could react. I opposed this idea because I didn’t think the mate (who was sly in all things that didn’t clash with his superstitions) would fall for such an easy trap. The mere fact that there was a watch on deck proved he was on guard; it’s not common to have a watch on deck when a ship is lying-to in a storm, unless strict discipline is enforced. Since I’m primarily addressing those who have never been to sea, it might be helpful to clarify what it means for a ship to be in this condition. Lying-to, or “laying-to” in nautical terms, is a tactic used for various reasons and done in different ways. In moderate weather, it's often done to stop the ship and wait for another vessel or something similar. If the ship is under full sail, this is usually done by adjusting some of the sails so the wind hits them back, causing the ship to stop. But in a storm, lying-to is when the wind is against you and too strong to sail without risking capsizing; sometimes it's done even when the wind is favorable but the sea is too rough for the ship to go directly before it. If a ship is allowed to run before the wind in heavy seas, it can take on a lot of water over the stern and sometimes suffer serious jolts forward. This maneuver is rarely used in such situations unless absolutely necessary. When a ship is leaking, it’s often run before the wind even in the worst seas because lying-to can really open up its seams due to the strain, which doesn’t happen as much when scudding. Sometimes, it becomes necessary to scud a vessel because the wind is so strong it could rip the sails unless it is facing directly into it, or because the ship’s design isn’t allowing it to head into the wind effectively.

Vessels in a gale of wind are laid-to in different manners, according to their peculiar construction. Some lie-to best under a foresail, and this, I believe, is the sail most usually employed. Large square-rigged vessels have sails for the express purpose, called storm-staysails. But the jib is occasionally employed by itself,—sometimes the jib and foresail, or a double-reefed foresail, and not unfrequently the after-sails, are made use of. Foretopsails are very often found to answer the purpose better than any other species of sail. The Grampus was generally laid-to under a close-reefed foresail.

Ships caught in a strong wind are secured in different ways, depending on their specific design. Some work best with just a foresail, which is usually the sail that's used. Large square-rigged ships have sails specifically made for this situation, called storm-staysails. However, sometimes just the jib is used, or a combination of the jib and foresail, or a double-reefed foresail, and quite often, the after-sails are utilized as well. Foretopsails are frequently found to work better than any other type of sail. The Grampus was typically secured with a close-reefed foresail.

When a vessel is to be laid-to, her head is brought up to the wind just so nearly as to fill the sail under which she lies when hauled flat aft, that is, when brought diagonally across the vessel. This being done, the bows point within a few degrees of the direction from which the wind issues, and the windward bow of course receives the shock of the waves. In this situation a good vessel will ride out a very heavy gale of wind without shipping a drop of water, and without any further attention being requisite on the part of the crew. The helm is usually lashed down, but this is altogether unnecessary (except on account of the noise it makes when loose), for the rudder has no effect upon the vessel when lying-to. Indeed, the helm had far better be left loose than lashed very fast, for the rudder is apt to be torn off by heavy seas if there be no room for the helm to play. As long as the sail holds, a well modelled vessel will maintain her situation, and ride every sea, as if instinct with life and reason. If the violence of the wind, however, should tear the sail into pieces (a feat which it requires a perfect hurricane to accomplish under ordinary circumstances), there is then imminent danger. The vessel falls off from the wind, and, coming broadside to the sea, is completely at its mercy: the only resource in this case is to put her quietly before the wind, letting her scud until some other sail can be set. Some vessels will lie-to under no sail whatever, but such are not to be trusted at sea.

When a boat is getting ready to ride out a storm, its front is turned into the wind just enough to fill the sail when it’s pulled flat back, meaning it’s angled diagonally across the boat. When this is done, the front of the boat points close to the direction the wind is coming from, and the windward side takes the brunt of the waves. In this position, a sturdy boat can withstand a really strong gale without taking on any water and without needing any extra effort from the crew. The steering wheel is usually secured, but that’s mostly just to avoid noise since the rudder doesn't have any effect on the boat when it's lying to. In fact, it’s better to leave the steering wheel loose rather than tightly secured, as strong waves could tear the rudder off if there’s no room for it to move. As long as the sail stays intact, a well-designed boat will hold its ground and ride the waves as if it has a will of its own. However, if the force of the wind rips the sail apart (which usually requires a really severe storm), the boat will turn away from the wind and face the waves sideways, leaving it completely vulnerable. The only option then is to steer the boat gently in front of the wind, letting it drift until another sail can be put up. Some boats can't lie to without any sails at all, and such boats can’t be relied on at sea.

But to return from this digression. It had never been customary with the mate to have any watch on deck when lying-to in a gale of wind, and the fact that he had now one, coupled with the circumstance of the missing axes and handspikes, fully convinced us that the crew were too well on the watch to be taken by surprise in the manner Peters had suggested. Something, however, was to be done, and that with as little delay as practicable, for there could be no doubt that a suspicion having been once entertained against Peters, he would be sacrificed upon the earliest occasion, and one would certainly be either found or made upon the breaking of the gale.

But to get back to the point. It had never been usual for the mate to have any watch on deck when we were lying-to in a strong wind, and the fact that he had one now, combined with the missing axes and handspikes, made it clear to us that the crew was too alert to be caught off guard in the way Peters suggested. Still, something needed to be done, and quickly, because once a suspicion had been raised against Peters, he would likely be blamed at the first opportunity, and one would definitely be found or created once the storm passed.

Augustus now suggested that if Peters could contrive to remove, under any pretext, the piece of chain-cable which lay over the trap in the stateroom, we might possibly be able to come upon them unawares by means of the hold; but a little reflection convinced us that the vessel rolled and pitched too violently for any attempt of that nature.

Augustus now suggested that if Peters could somehow get rid of the piece of chain-cable that was laid over the trap in the stateroom, we might be able to catch them off guard through the hold. However, after some thought, we realized that the ship was rolling and pitching too violently for any plan like that to work.

By good fortune I at length hit upon the idea of working upon the superstitious terrors and guilty conscience of the mate. It will be remembered that one of the crew, Hartman Rogers, had died during the morning, having been attacked two days before with spasms after drinking some spirits and water. Peters had expressed to us his opinion that this man had been poisoned by the mate, and for this belief he had reasons, so he said, which were incontrovertible, but which he could not be prevailed upon to explain to us—this wayward refusal being only in keeping with other points of his singular character. But whether or not he had any better grounds for suspecting the mate than we had ourselves, we were easily led to fall in with his suspicion, and determined to act accordingly.

By good luck, I finally came up with the idea of exploiting the superstitious fears and guilty conscience of the mate. It will be remembered that one of the crew, Hartman Rogers, had died that morning after suffering from spasms two days earlier, following a drink of some spirits and water. Peters had shared his belief that this man had been poisoned by the mate, claiming he had undeniable reasons for this belief, although he wasn't willing to explain them to us—this stubborn refusal was typical of his unusual character. But whether or not he had any more solid reasons for suspecting the mate than we did, we easily found ourselves agreeing with his suspicions and decided to act on them.

Rogers had died about eleven in the forenoon, in violent convulsions; and the corpse presented in a few minutes after death one of the most horrid and loathsome spectacles I ever remember to have seen. The stomach was swollen immensely, like that of a man who has been drowned and lain under water for many weeks. The hands were in the same condition, while the face was shrunken, shrivelled, and of a chalky whiteness, except where relieved by two or three glaring red blotches like those occasioned by the erysipelas: one of these blotches extended diagonally across the face, completely covering up an eye as if with a band of red velvet. In this disgusting condition the body had been brought up from the cabin at noon to be thrown overboard, when the mate getting a glimpse of it (for he now saw it for the first time), and being either touched with remorse for his crime or struck with terror at so horrible a sight, ordered the men to sew the body up in its hammock, and allow it the usual rites of sea-burial. Having given these directions, he went below, as if to avoid any further sight of his victim. While preparations were making to obey his orders, the gale came on with great fury, and the design was abandoned for the present. The corpse, left to itself, was washed into the larboard scuppers, where it still lay at the time of which I speak, floundering about with the furious lurches of the brig.

Rogers died around eleven in the morning, convulsing violently, and his body quickly became one of the most horrifying sights I've ever seen. His stomach was massively swollen, resembling that of someone who had drowned and been submerged for weeks. His hands were the same, while his face was shriveled and pale, except for a few bright red blotches like those caused by erysipelas; one of these blotches ran diagonally across his face, completely covering one eye like a band of red velvet. In this grotesque state, the body was brought up from the cabin at noon to be thrown overboard, but when the mate caught a glimpse of it for the first time, feeling either guilt for his actions or fear at such a dreadful sight, he ordered the men to wrap the body in its hammock and give it the usual sea burial. After giving these orders, he went below deck, as if to avoid further sight of his victim. While preparations were being made to follow his instructions, a fierce storm hit, and the plan was put on hold. The corpse, left to itself, was washed into the port scuppers, where it remained at the time I’m describing, floundering about with the violent lurches of the brig.

Having arranged our plan, we set about putting it in execution as speedily as possible. Peters went upon deck, and, as he had anticipated, was immediately accosted by Allen, who appeared to be stationed more as a watch upon the forecastle than for any other purpose. The fate of this villain, however, was speedily and silently decided; for Peters, approaching him in a careless manner, as if about to address him, seized him by the throat, and, before he could utter a single cry, tossed him over the bulwarks. He then called to us, and we came up. Our first precaution was to look about for something with which to arm ourselves, and in doing this we had to proceed with great care, for it was impossible to stand on deck an instant without holding fast, and violent seas broke over the vessel at every plunge forward. It was indispensable, too, that we should be quick in our operations, for every minute we expected the mate to be up to set the pumps going, as it was evident the brig must be taking in water very fast. After searching about for some time, we could find nothing more fit for our purpose than the two pump-handles, one of which Augustus took, and I the other. Having secured these, we stripped off the shirt of the corpse and dropped the body overboard. Peters and myself then went below, leaving Augustus to watch upon deck, where he took his station just where Allen had been placed, and with his back to the cabin companionway, so that, if any of the mate's gang should come up, he might suppose it was the watch.

Having arranged our plan, we quickly set out to put it into action. Peters went onto the deck, and, as he expected, was immediately approached by Allen, who seemed to be keeping watch on the forecastle. However, the fate of this villain was decided swiftly and silently; Peters, approaching him casually as if to talk, grabbed him by the throat and, before he could make a sound, threw him overboard. He then called for us, and we came up. Our first priority was to look for something to defend ourselves with, and we had to move very carefully, as it was impossible to stay on deck for even a moment without holding on, with violent waves crashing over the ship at every lurch. We also needed to act quickly because we expected the mate to come up any minute to start the pumps, as the brig was obviously taking on water rapidly. After searching for a while, we found nothing better suited for our needs than two pump handles; Augustus took one and I took the other. Once we secured those, we took off the shirt from the corpse and tossed the body overboard. Peters and I then went below deck, leaving Augustus to keep watch above, where he positioned himself just like Allen had been, facing away from the cabin entrance, so that if any of the mate's crew came up, they would think it was still the watch.

As soon as I got below I commenced disguising myself so as to represent the corpse of Rogers. The shirt which we had taken from the body aided us very much, for it was of singular form and character, and easily recognizable—a kind of smock, which the deceased wore over his other clothing. It was a blue stockinett, with large white stripes running across. Having put this on, I proceeded to equip myself with a false stomach, in imitation of the horrible deformity of the swollen corpse. This was soon effected by means of stuffing with some bedclothes. I then gave the same appearance to my hands by drawing on a pair of white woollen mittens, and filling them in with any kind of rags that offered themselves. Peters then arranged my face, first rubbing it well over with white chalk, and afterward blotching it with blood, which he took from a cut in his finger. The streak across the eye was not forgotten and presented a most shocking appearance.

As soon as I got below, I started to disguise myself to look like the corpse of Rogers. The shirt we had taken from the body helped a lot because it was unique and easily recognizable—a kind of smock that the deceased wore over his other clothes. It was blue with large white stripes running across it. After putting that on, I went ahead and created a fake stomach to mimic the horrific swelling of the dead body. I achieved this quickly by stuffing some bedclothes inside. I then made my hands look the same by putting on a pair of white wool mittens and filling them with any rags I could find. Peters then worked on my face, first coating it with white chalk and then smearing it with blood from a cut on his finger. He made sure to include the streak across the eye, which looked really terrible.

CHAPTER 8

As I viewed myself in a fragment of looking-glass which hung up in the cabin, and by the dim light of a kind of battle-lantern, I was so impressed with a sense of vague awe at my appearance, and at the recollection of the terrific reality which I was thus representing, that I was seized with a violent tremour, and could scarcely summon resolution to go on with my part. It was necessary, however, to act with decision, and Peters and myself went upon deck.

As I looked at myself in a piece of mirror hanging in the cabin, illuminated by the faint light of a battle lantern, I felt a deep sense of awe at my appearance and at the terrifying reality I was embodying. I was overcome with a strong shiver and could hardly gather the courage to continue with my role. However, it was essential to act decisively, so Peters and I went up on deck.

We there found everything safe, and, keeping close to the bulwarks, the three of us crept to the cabin companion-way. It was only partially closed, precautions having been taken to prevent its being suddenly pushed to from without, by means of placing billets of wood on the upper step so as to interfere with the shutting. We found no difficulty in getting a full view of the interior of the cabin through the cracks where the hinges were placed. It now proved to have been very fortunate for us that we had not attempted to take them by surprise, for they were evidently on the alert. Only one was asleep, and he lying just at the foot of the companion-ladder, with a musket by his side. The rest were seated on several mattresses, which had been taken from the berths and thrown on the floor. They were engaged in earnest conversation; and although they had been carousing, as appeared from two empty jugs, with some tin tumblers which lay about, they were not as much intoxicated as usual. All had knives, one or two of them pistols, and a great many muskets were lying in a berth close at hand.

We found everything safe, and staying close to the walls, the three of us quietly made our way to the cabin stairs. The entrance was only partially closed, secured with pieces of wood on the upper step to prevent it from being pushed shut from the outside. We had no trouble getting a good look inside the cabin through the gaps where the hinges were. It was very fortunate that we hadn’t tried to catch them off guard, as they were clearly alert. Only one person was asleep, lying at the foot of the stairs with a musket next to him. The others were sitting on several mattresses that had been taken from the beds and thrown on the floor. They were engaged in a serious conversation; even though they had been drinking, as shown by two empty jugs and some tin cups scattered around, they weren't as drunk as usual. Each had knives, a couple had pistols, and many muskets were lying in a nearby bunk.

We listened to their conversation for some time before we could make up our minds how to act, having as yet resolved on nothing determinate, except that we would attempt to paralyze their exertions, when we should attack them, by means of the apparition of Rogers. They were discussing their piratical plans, in which all we could hear distinctly was, that they would unite with the crew of a schooner Hornet, and, if possible, get the schooner herself into their possession preparatory to some attempt on a large scale, the particulars of which could not be made out by either of us.

We listened to their conversation for a while before we figured out how to act, having not yet decided on anything specific, except that we planned to disrupt their efforts by using the appearance of Rogers when we attacked them. They were talking about their piracy plans, and all we could clearly hear was that they wanted to team up with the crew of a schooner Hornet, and, if possible, get control of the schooner itself in preparation for a major operation, the details of which neither of us could make out.

One of the men spoke of Peters, when the mate replied to him in a low voice which could not be distinguished, and afterward added more loudly, that “he could not understand his being so much forward with the captain’s brat in the forecastle, and he thought the sooner both of them were overboard the better.” To this no answer was made, but we could easily perceive that the hint was well received by the whole party, and more particularly by Jones. At this period I was excessively agitated, the more so as I could see that neither Augustus nor Peters could determine how to act. I made up my mind, however, to sell my life as dearly as possible, and not to suffer myself to be overcome by any feelings of trepidation.

One of the guys talked about Peters, and the mate replied quietly, so we couldn’t catch what he said, then added more loudly that “he didn’t get why he was being so friendly with the captain’s kid in the forecastle, and thought it would be better if both of them were tossed overboard.” No one responded to that, but it was clear that everyone, especially Jones, appreciated the hint. At that moment, I was extremely anxious, especially since I could tell that neither Augustus nor Peters knew what to do. Still, I decided I would fight to the end and not let fear take over.

The tremendous noise made by the roaring of the wind in the rigging, and the washing of the sea over the deck, prevented us from hearing what was said, except during momentary lulls. In one of these, we all distinctly heard the mate tell one of the men to “go forward, have an eye upon them, for he wanted no such secret doings on board the brig.” It was well for us that the pitching of the vessel at this moment was so violent as to prevent this order from being carried into instant execution. The cook got up from his mattress to go for us, when a tremendous lurch, which I thought would carry away the masts, threw him headlong against one of the larboard stateroom doors, bursting it open, and creating a good deal of other confusion. Luckily, neither of our party was thrown from his position, and we had time to make a precipitate retreat to the forecastle, and arrange a hurried plan of action before the messenger made his appearance, or rather before he put his head out of the companion-hatch, for he did not come on deck. From this station he could not notice the absence of Allen, and he accordingly bawled out, as if to him, repeating the orders of the mate. Peters cried out, “Ay, ay,” in a disguised voice, and the cook immediately went below, without entertaining a suspicion that all was not right.

The loud noise from the wind howling in the rigging and the waves crashing over the deck made it hard for us to hear anything, except during brief moments of quiet. In one of these moments, we clearly heard the mate tell one of the men to “go forward, keep an eye on them, because he didn’t want any secret activities on board the brig.” Luckily for us, the ship was pitching so violently at that moment that this order couldn’t be acted on right away. The cook got up from his mattress to come to us when a huge lurch, which I thought would snap the masts, sent him crashing against one of the left-side stateroom doors, bursting it open and causing a lot of chaos. Thankfully, none of us were thrown from our spots, and we had time to quickly retreat to the forecastle and come up with a hasty plan of action before the messenger arrived, or rather before he poked his head out of the companion-hatch since he didn’t come onto the deck. From there, he wouldn’t see that Allen was missing, so he yelled out, as if to him, repeating the mate’s orders. Peters shouted, “Ay, ay,” in a disguised voice, and the cook went below right away, without suspecting that anything was wrong.

My two companions now proceeded boldly aft and down into the cabin, Peters closing the door after him in the same manner he had found it. The mate received them with feigned cordiality, and told Augustus that, since he had behaved himself so well of late, he might take up his quarters in the cabin and be one of them for the future. He then poured him out a tumbler half full of rum, and made him drink it. All this I saw and heard, for I followed my friends to the cabin as soon as the door was shut, and took up my old point of observation. I had brought with me the two pump-handles, one of which I secured near the companion-way, to be ready for use when required.

My two friends confidently walked to the back and down into the cabin, with Peters closing the door behind him just as he had found it. The first mate greeted them with fake friendliness and told Augustus that since he had behaved himself well lately, he could move into the cabin and be one of them from now on. He then poured Augustus a glass half-full of rum and made him drink it. I saw and heard all of this because I followed my friends to the cabin as soon as the door was shut, settling back into my usual spot. I had brought the two pump handles with me, one of which I secured near the stairs to be ready for use when needed.

I now steadied myself as well as possible so as to have a good view of all that was passing within, and endeavoured to nerve myself to the task of descending among the mutineers when Peters should make a signal to me, as agreed upon. Presently he contrived to turn the conversation upon the bloody deeds of the mutiny, and by degrees led the men to talk of the thousand superstitions which are so universally current among seamen. I could not make out all that was said, but I could plainly see the effects of the conversation in the countenances of those present. The mate was evidently much agitated, and presently, when some one mentioned the terrific appearance of Rogers’ corpse, I thought he was upon the point of swooning. Peters now asked him if he did not think it would be better to have the body thrown overboard at once as it was too horrible a sight to see it floundering about in the scuppers. At this the villain absolutely gasped for breath, and turned his head slowly round upon his companions, as if imploring some one to go up and perform the task. No one, however, stirred, and it was quite evident that the whole party were wound up to the highest pitch of nervous excitement. Peters now made me the signal. I immediately threw open the door of the companion-way, and, descending, without uttering a syllable, stood erect in the midst of the party.

I steadied myself as best as I could to get a good look at everything happening inside, and tried to prepare myself to join the mutineers when Peters signaled me, as we had agreed. Soon, he managed to steer the conversation toward the bloody events of the mutiny, and gradually encouraged the men to discuss the various superstitions that sailors often believe in. I couldn't catch everything that was said, but I could clearly see how the conversation affected the faces of those there. The mate was obviously very agitated, and when someone mentioned the terrifying sight of Rogers' corpse, I thought he was about to faint. Peters then asked him whether it wouldn’t be better to just throw the body overboard right away since it was too gruesome to have it floundering in the scuppers. At this, the man gasped for air and slowly turned to his companions, as if begging someone to go up and take care of it. However, no one moved, and it was clear that the entire group was extremely on edge. Peters finally signaled me. I quickly opened the door to the companionway, and as I descended silently, I stood upright among them.

The intense effect produced by this sudden apparition is not at all to be wondered at when the various circumstances are taken into consideration. Usually, in cases of a similar nature, there is left in the mind of the spectator some glimmering of doubt as to the reality of the vision before his eyes; a degree of hope, however feeble, that he is the victim of chicanery, and that the apparition is not actually a visitant from the old world of shadows. It is not too much to say that such remnants of doubt have been at the bottom of almost every such visitation, and that the appalling horror which has sometimes been brought about, is to be attributed, even in the cases most in point, and where most suffering has been experienced, more to a kind of anticipative horror, lest the apparition might possibly be real, than to an unwavering belief in its reality. But, in the present instance, it will be seen immediately, that in the minds of the mutineers there was not even the shadow of a basis upon which to rest a doubt that the apparition of Rogers was indeed a revivification of his disgusting corpse, or at least its spiritual image. The isolated situation of the brig, with its entire inaccessibility on account of the gale, confined the apparently possible means of deception within such narrow and definite limits, that they must have thought themselves enabled to survey them all at a glance. They had now been at sea twenty-four days, without holding more than a speaking communication with any vessel whatever. The whole of the crew, too—at least all whom they had the most remote reason for suspecting to be on board—were assembled in the cabin, with the exception of Allen, the watch; and his gigantic stature (he was six feet six inches high) was too familiar in their eyes to permit the notion that he was the apparition before them to enter their minds even for an instant. Add to these considerations the awe-inspiring nature of the tempest, and that of the conversation brought about by Peters; the deep impression which the loathsomeness of the actual corpse had made in the morning upon the imaginations of the men; the excellence of the imitation in my person, and the uncertain and wavering light in which they beheld me, as the glare of the cabin lantern, swinging violently to and fro, fell dubiously and fitfully upon my figure, and there will be no reason to wonder that the deception had even more than the entire effect which we had anticipated. The mate sprang up from the mattress on which he was lying, and, without uttering a syllable, fell back, stone dead, upon the cabin floor, and was hurled to the leeward like a log by a heavy roll of the brig. Of the remaining seven, there were but three who had at first any degree of presence of mind. The four others sat for some time rooted apparently to the floor, the most pitiable objects of horror and utter despair my eyes ever encountered. The only opposition we experienced at all was from the cook, John Hunt, and Richard Parker; but they made but a feeble and irresolute defence. The two former were shot instantly by Peters, and I felled Parker with a blow on the head from the pump-handle which I had brought with me. In the meantime, Augustus seized one of the muskets lying on the floor and shot another mutineer Wilson through the breast. There were now but three remaining; but by this time they had become aroused from their lethargy, and perhaps began to see that a deception had been practised upon them, for they fought with great resolution and fury, and, but for the immense muscular strength of Peters, might have ultimately got the better of us. These three men were—Jones, Greely, and Absolom Hicks. Jones had thrown Augustus to the floor, stabbed him in several places along the right arm, and would no doubt have soon dispatched him (as neither Peters nor myself could immediately get rid of our own antagonists), had it not been for the timely aid of a friend, upon whose assistance we, surely, had never depended. This friend was no other than Tiger. With a low growl, he bounded into the cabin, at a most critical moment for Augustus, and throwing himself upon Jones, pinned him to the floor in an instant. My friend, however, was now too much injured to render us any aid whatever, and I was so encumbered with my disguise that I could do but little. The dog would not leave his hold upon the throat of Jones—Peters, nevertheless, was far more than a match for the two men who remained, and would, no doubt, have dispatched them sooner, had it not been for the narrow space in which he had to act, and the tremendous lurches of the vessel. Presently he was enabled to get hold of a heavy stool, several of which lay about the floor. With this he beat out the brains of Greely as he was in the act of discharging a musket at me, and immediately afterward a roll of the brig throwing him in contact with Hicks, he seized him by the throat, and, by dint of sheer strength, strangled him instantaneously. Thus, in far less time than I have taken to tell it, we found ourselves masters of the brig.

The intense reaction caused by this sudden appearance is completely understandable when you consider the circumstances. Usually, in similar situations, the observer has some lingering doubt about the reality of what they're seeing; a flicker of hope, however slight, that they are being deceived, and that the apparition isn't really a ghost from the old world of shadows. It's fair to say that such doubts have influenced almost every encounter of this kind, and that the terrifying horror experienced at times is more due to the fear that the apparition might actually be real than to a firm belief in its reality. However, in this case, it was clear that the mutineers had no doubts that Rogers' appearance was indeed the reanimation of his disgusting corpse, or at least a spiritual image of it. The isolated position of the brig, completely cut off due to the storm, meant that any possible means of deception were so limited that they must have thought they could quickly analyze them all. They had now been at sea for twenty-four days without more than a brief communication with any ship. The entire crew—at least all those they suspected were on board—were gathered in the cabin, except for Allen, who was on watch, and his massive height (he was six feet six inches tall) was too familiar for them to even briefly consider that he might be the apparition before them. Adding to these factors were the terrifying nature of the storm and the conversation triggered by Peters; the deep mark the grotesqueness of the actual corpse left on the men's minds that morning; the convincing imitation I was providing, and the dim, flickering light from the cabin lantern swinging wildly over my figure. It's no surprise that the deception had an even greater effect than we expected. The mate jumped up from the mattress he was lying on, didn't say a word, and then collapsed dead on the cabin floor, being tossed to the side like a log by a strong roll of the brig. Of the remaining seven, only three had any presence of mind at first. The other four sat for a while completely frozen in horror and despair, truly the most pitiful sight my eyes had ever seen. The only resistance we faced came from the cook, John Hunt, and Richard Parker; but their defense was weak and uncertain. Peters shot both of them instantly, and I knocked Parker out with a blow to the head using the pump-handle I had brought along. Meanwhile, Augustus grabbed one of the muskets lying on the floor and shot another mutineer, Wilson, in the chest. Only three remained, but by this point they had awakened from their stupor and seemed to realize they had been deceived, fighting with great determination and fury. If not for Peters' immense strength, they might have overcome us. These three men were—Jones, Greely, and Absolom Hicks. Jones knocked Augustus to the floor, stabbed him several times along the right arm, and would have killed him soon (as neither Peters nor I could shake off our opponents right away) if it hadn’t been for the timely assistance of a friend we never expected to rely on. This friend was none other than Tiger. With a low growl, he leaped into the cabin at a critical moment for Augustus, pouncing on Jones and pinning him to the floor in an instant. However, my friend was now too injured to help us further, and I was so burdened by my disguise that I could do very little. The dog wouldn’t let go of Jones' throat—yet Peters was still more than a match for the remaining two men, although he would have likely defeated them more quickly if not for the tight space he had to work in and the violent swaying of the vessel. Soon he managed to grab a heavy stool, with several scattered around the floor. With it, he smashed Greely's head just as he was about to shoot me, and then, after a roll of the brig brought him into contact with Hicks, he grabbed him by the throat and, with sheer strength, strangled him instantly. In far less time than it took me to tell this story, we found ourselves in control of the brig.

The only person of our opponents who was left alive was Richard Parker. This man, it will be remembered, I had knocked down with a blow from the pump-handle at the commencement of the attack. He now lay motionless by the door of the shattered stateroom; but, upon Peters touching him with his foot, he spoke, and entreated for mercy. His head was only slightly cut, and otherwise he had received no injury, having been merely stunned by the blow. He now got up, and, for the present, we secured his hands behind his back. The dog was still growling over Jones; but, upon examination, we found him completely dead, the blood issuing in a stream from a deep wound in the throat, inflicted, no doubt, by the sharp teeth of the animal.

The only person from our opponents who was still alive was Richard Parker. This guy, as you’ll recall, I had knocked down with a hit from the pump handle at the start of the attack. He was now lying still by the door of the broken stateroom; but when Peters kicked him with his foot, he spoke up and begged for mercy. His head had a slight cut, and other than that, he was unhurt, having just been stunned by the hit. He got up, and for the moment, we tied his hands behind his back. The dog was still growling over Jones; however, when we checked, we found him completely dead, with blood streaming from a deep wound in his throat, clearly caused by the animal's sharp teeth.

It was now about one o’clock in the morning, and the wind was still blowing tremendously. The brig evidently laboured much more than usual, and it became absolutely necessary that something should be done with a view of easing her in some measure. At almost every roll to leeward she shipped a sea, several of which came partially down into the cabin during our scuffle, the hatchway having been left open by myself when I descended. The entire range of bulwarks to larboard had been swept away, as well as the caboose, together with the jollyboat from the counter. The creaking and working of the mainmast, too, gave indication that it was nearly sprung. To make room for more stowage in the afterhold, the heel of this mast had been stepped between decks (a very reprehensible practice, occasionally resorted to by ignorant ship-builders), so that it was in imminent danger of working from its step. But, to crown all our difficulties, we plummed the well, and found no less than seven feet of water.

It was now about one o’clock in the morning, and the wind was still blowing hard. The brig was clearly struggling more than usual, and it became essential to do something to lighten her load. With almost every roll to the side, she took on water, some of which splashed into the cabin during our chaos, since I had left the hatchway open when I went down. The entire range of bulwarks on the left side had been wiped out, along with the stove and the jollyboat from the back. The creaking and movement of the mainmast also indicated that it was close to breaking. To create more storage space in the back hold, the base of this mast had been positioned between decks (a very questionable practice, sometimes done by clueless shipbuilders), putting it at serious risk of coming loose from its base. But to top off all our troubles, we checked the well and found no less than seven feet of water.

Leaving the bodies of the crew lying in the cabin, we got to work immediately at the pumps—Parker, of course, being set at liberty to assist us in the labour. Augustus’s arm was bound up as well as we could effect it, and he did what he could, but that was not much. However, we found that we could just manage to keep the leak from gaining upon us by having one pump constantly going. As there were only four of us, this was severe labour; but we endeavoured to keep up our spirits, and looked anxiously for daybreak, when we hoped to lighten the brig by cutting away the mainmast.

Leaving the bodies of the crew in the cabin, we started working as soon as possible at the pumps—Parker was freed to help us with the work. We wrapped up Augustus’s arm the best we could, and he did what he could, but it wasn’t much. Still, we found that we could just manage to keep the leak from overwhelming us by constantly using one pump. With only four of us, it was tough work, but we tried to stay upbeat and looked forward to dawn, when we hoped to lighten the brig by cutting away the mainmast.

In this manner we passed a night of terrible anxiety and fatigue, and, when the day at length broke, the gale had neither abated in the least, nor were there any signs of its abating. We now dragged the bodies on deck and threw them overboard. Our next care was to get rid of the mainmast. The necessary preparations having been made, Peters cut away at the mast (having found axes in the cabin), while the rest of us stood by the stays and lanyards. As the brig gave a tremendous lee-lurch, the word was given to cut away the weather-lanyards, which being done, the whole mass of wood and rigging plunged into the sea, clear of the brig, and without doing any material injury. We now found that the vessel did not labour quite as much as before, but our situation was still exceedingly precarious, and in spite of the utmost exertions, we could not gain upon the leak without the aid of both pumps. The little assistance which Augustus could render us was not really of any importance. To add to our distress, a heavy sea, striking the brig to the windward, threw her off several points from the wind, and, before she could regain her position, another broke completely over her, and hurled her full upon her beam-ends. The ballast now shifted in a mass to leeward (the stowage had been knocking about perfectly at random for some time), and for a few moments we thought nothing could save us from capsizing. Presently, however, we partially righted; but the ballast still retaining its place to larboard, we lay so much along that it was useless to think of working the pumps, which indeed we could not have done much longer in any case, as our hands were entirely raw with the excessive labour we had undergone, and were bleeding in the most horrible manner.

We spent a night filled with extreme anxiety and exhaustion, and when morning finally came, the storm hadn’t let up at all, nor were there any signs that it would. We pulled the bodies onto the deck and tossed them overboard. Our next priority was to remove the mainmast. After getting everything ready, Peters started chopping at the mast (after finding axes in the cabin), while the rest of us held onto the stays and lanyards. As the brig heeled dramatically to one side, we were told to cut the weather lanyards, and once that was done, the entire mass of wood and rigging plunged into the sea, safely away from the brig and without causing any serious damage. We soon realized that the vessel didn’t pitch as much as before, but our situation was still very dangerous, and despite our best efforts, we couldn’t manage the leak without both pumps. The little help Augustus could provide was hardly significant. To make matters worse, a large wave hit the brig from the side, pushing her off course, and before she could get back on track, another wave crashed over her, tipping her onto her side. The ballast shifted heavily to one side (having been moving around chaotically for a while), and for a few moments, we feared nothing could prevent us from capsizing. Eventually, we managed to right ourselves somewhat; however, with the ballast still stuck to the port side, we were tilted so much that using the pumps was pointless. In any case, we couldn’t have worked them much longer as our hands were completely raw from the intense labor we had endured, and they were bleeding terribly.

Contrary to Parker’s advice, we now proceeded to cut away the foremast, and at length accomplished it after much difficulty, owing to the position in which we lay. In going overboard the wreck took with it the bowsprit, and left us a complete hulk.

Unlike Parker’s advice, we went ahead and cut down the foremast, eventually managing to do it after a lot of struggle because of how we were positioned. When we went overboard, the wreck took the bowsprit with it, leaving us with nothing but a complete hulk.

So far we had had reason to rejoice in the escape of our longboat, which had received no damage from any of the huge seas which had come on board. But we had not long to congratulate ourselves; for the foremast having gone, and, of course, the foresail with it, by which the brig had been steadied, every sea now made a complete breach over us, and in five minutes our deck was swept from stem to stern, the longboat and starboard bulwarks torn off, and even the windlass shattered into fragments. It was, indeed, hardly possible for us to be in a more pitiable condition.

So far, we had reason to celebrate the survival of our longboat, which had come through the huge waves without any damage. But we didn't have much time to feel proud; the foremast came down, taking the foresail with it, which had helped keep the brig steady. Now, every wave crashed completely over us, and within five minutes, our deck was wiped clean from end to end. The longboat and the starboard bulwarks were ripped away, and even the windlass was shattered into pieces. Honestly, it was hard to imagine us being in a more miserable state.

At noon there seemed to be some slight appearance of the gale’s abating, but in this we were sadly disappointed, for it only lulled for a few minutes to blow with redoubled fury. About four in the afternoon it was utterly impossible to stand up against the violence of the blast; and, as the night closed in upon us, I had not a shadow of hope that the vessel would hold together until morning.

At noon it seemed like the wind was calming down a bit, but we were sadly let down, as it only dropped for a few minutes before roaring back with even more force. By about four in the afternoon, it was completely impossible to stand against the strength of the wind; and as night fell, I had zero hope that the ship would hold up until morning.

By midnight we had settled very deep in the water, which was now up to the orlop deck. The rudder went soon afterward, the sea which tore it away lifting the after portion of the brig entirely from the water, against which she thumped in her descent with such a concussion as would be occasioned by going ashore. We had all calculated that the rudder would hold its own to the last, as it was unusually strong, being rigged as I have never seen one rigged either before or since. Down its main timber there ran a succession of stout iron hooks, and others in the same manner down the stern-post. Through these hooks there extended a very thick wrought-iron rod, the rudder being thus held to the stern-post and swinging freely on the rod. The tremendous force of the sea which tore it off may be estimated by the fact, that the hooks in the stern-post, which ran entirely through it, being clinched on the inside, were drawn every one of them completely out of the solid wood.

By midnight, we had settled deep in the water, which was now up to the orlop deck. The rudder went soon after, as the sea wrenched it away, lifting the back of the brig entirely out of the water, causing it to crash down with a force like that of running aground. We had all assumed that the rudder would hold strong until the end, as it was unusually robust, rigged in a way I’ve never seen before or since. Running down its main timber were several sturdy iron hooks, and others in the same way down the stern-post. A very thick wrought-iron rod extended through these hooks, securing the rudder to the stern-post and allowing it to swing freely on the rod. The immense force of the sea that ripped it off can be measured by the fact that the hooks in the stern-post, which went completely through it and were clinched on the inside, were all pulled out of the solid wood.

We had scarcely time to draw breath after the violence of this shock, when one of the most tremendous waves I had then ever known broke right on board of us, sweeping the companion-way clear off, bursting in the hatchways, and filling every inch of the vessel with water.

We barely had a moment to catch our breath after the force of this shock when one of the biggest waves I had ever experienced crashed right onto us, sweeping away the staircase, smashing through the hatches, and filling every inch of the ship with water.

CHAPTER 9

Luckily, just before night, all four of us had lashed ourselves firmly to the fragments of the windlass, lying in this manner as flat upon the deck as possible. This precaution alone saved us from destruction. As it was, we were all more or less stunned by the immense weight of water which tumbled upon us, and which did not roll from above us until we were nearly exhausted. As soon as I could recover breath, I called aloud to my companions. Augustus alone replied, saying: “It is all over with us, and may God have mercy upon our souls!” By-and-by both the others were enabled to speak, when they exhorted us to take courage, as there was still hope; it being impossible, from the nature of the cargo, that the brig could go down, and there being every chance that the gale would blow over by the morning. These words inspired me with new life; for, strange as it may seem, although it was obvious that a vessel with a cargo of empty oil-casks would not sink, I had been hitherto so confused in mind as to have overlooked this consideration altogether; and the danger which I had for some time regarded as the most imminent was that of foundering. As hope revived within me, I made use of every opportunity to strengthen the lashings which held me to the remains of the windlass, and in this occupation I soon discovered that my companions were also busy. The night was as dark as it could possibly be, and the horrible shrieking din and confusion which surrounded us it is useless to attempt describing. Our deck lay level with the sea, or rather we were encircled with a towering ridge of foam, a portion of which swept over us every instant. It is not too much to say that our heads were not fairly out of the water more than one second in three. Although we lay close together, no one of us could see the other, or, indeed, any portion of the brig itself, upon which we were so tempestuously hurled about. At intervals we called one to the other, thus endeavouring to keep alive hope, and render consolation and encouragement to such of us as stood most in need of it. The feeble condition of Augustus made him an object of solicitude with us all; and as, from the lacerated condition of his right arm, it must have been impossible for him to secure his lashings with any degree of firmness, we were in momentary expectation of finding that he had gone overboard—yet to render him aid was a thing altogether out of the question. Fortunately, his station was more secure than that of any of the rest of us; for the upper part of his body lying just beneath a portion of the shattered windlass, the seas, as they tumbled in upon him, were greatly broken in their violence. In any other situation than this (into which he had been accidentally thrown after having lashed himself in a very exposed spot) he must inevitably have perished before morning. Owing to the brig’s lying so much along, we were all less liable to be washed off than otherwise would have been the case. The heel, as I have before stated, was to larboard, about one half of the deck being constantly under water. The seas, therefore, which struck us to starboard were much broken, by the vessel’s side, only reaching us in fragments as we lay flat on our faces; while those which came from larboard being what are called back-water seas, and obtaining little hold upon us on account of our posture, had not sufficient force to drag us from our fastenings.

Fortunately, just before nightfall, all four of us had secured ourselves tightly to the remnants of the windlass, lying as flat on the deck as we could. This precaution alone saved us from disaster. As it was, we were all somewhat dazed by the massive waves crashing over us, which didn’t stop until we were nearly exhausted. As soon as I caught my breath, I called out to my companions. Augustus was the only one who answered, saying, “It’s all over for us, and may God have mercy on our souls!” Eventually, the others were able to speak, encouraging us to stay brave, as there was still hope; given the nature of the cargo, it was impossible for the brig to sink, and there was a good chance the storm would pass by morning. Their words gave me renewed strength; for, as strange as it sounds, even though it was clear that a ship loaded with empty oil barrels wouldn’t sink, I had been so confused that I overlooked this fact entirely. The danger I had considered most pressing was that we might go down. As hope sparked within me, I took every opportunity to tighten the ropes that held me to the wreckage of the windlass, and I soon noticed that my companions were doing the same. The night was pitch black, and the horrible noise and chaos around us is impossible to fully describe. The deck was level with the sea, or rather we were surrounded by a towering wall of foam, a part of which swept over us every second. It’s fair to say that our heads were not clear of the water more than one second in three. Even though we were lying close together, none of us could see each other or even any part of the brig itself, which we were being tossed around on. At intervals, we called out to one another, trying to keep hope alive and provide comfort and encouragement to those of us who needed it most. Augustus’s weak condition made him a concern for us all, and since his right arm was badly injured, it must have been impossible for him to secure his ropes tightly. We were constantly worried he might go overboard—but helping him was completely out of the question. Luckily, his position was more secure than any of ours; the upper part of his body was beneath a piece of the broken windlass, which softened the impact of the waves crashing down on him. In any other situation (and he had ended up here after securing himself in a very exposed spot), he surely would have perished by morning. Because the brig was leaning so much, we were all less likely to be swept overboard than we otherwise would have been. As I mentioned before, the tilt was to the left, with about half of the deck constantly submerged. Therefore, the waves crashing against us from the right were much less intense due to the side of the ship, only reaching us in pieces as we lay flat. The waves coming from the left were what we called back-water seas, and since we were lying down, they didn’t have enough strength to pull us from our bindings.

In this frightful situation we lay until the day broke so as to show us more fully the horrors which surrounded us. The brig was a mere log, rolling about at the mercy of every wave; the gale was upon the increase, if any thing, blowing indeed a complete hurricane, and there appeared to us no earthly prospect of deliverance. For several hours we held on in silence, expecting every moment that our lashings would either give way, that the remains of the windlass would go by the board, or that some of the huge seas, which roared in every direction around us and above us, would drive the hulk so far beneath the water that we should be drowned before it could regain the surface. By the mercy of God, however, we were preserved from these imminent dangers, and about midday were cheered by the light of the blessed sun. Shortly afterward we could perceive a sensible diminution in the force of the wind, when, now for the first time since the latter part of the evening before, Augustus spoke, asking Peters, who lay closest to him, if he thought there was any possibility of our being saved. As no reply was at first made to this question, we all concluded that the hybrid had been drowned where he lay; but presently, to our great joy, he spoke, although very feebly, saying that he was in great pain, being so cut by the tightness of his lashings across the stomach, that he must either find means of loosening them or perish, as it was impossible that he could endure his misery much longer. This occasioned us great distress, as it was altogether useless to think of aiding him in any manner while the sea continued washing over us as it did. We exhorted him to bear his sufferings with fortitude, and promised to seize the first opportunity which should offer itself to relieve him. He replied that it would soon be too late; that it would be all over with him before we could help him; and then, after moaning for some minutes, lay silent, when we concluded that he had perished.

In this terrifying situation, we lay until daybreak to reveal more fully the horrors that surrounded us. The brig was just a log, drifting around at the mercy of every wave; the storm was getting worse, if anything, almost a full-blown hurricane, and there seemed to be no chance of rescue. For several hours, we held on in silence, expecting at any moment that our ropes would snap, the remains of the windlass would be washed away, or that one of the huge waves crashing around and over us would pull the hulk down so far that we would drown before it could surface again. However, by the grace of God, we were spared from these immediate dangers, and around midday, we were uplifted by the light of the blessed sun. Soon after, we noticed a significant decrease in the wind's strength, when, for the first time since the previous evening, Augustus spoke, asking Peters, who was closest to him, if he thought there was any chance of us being saved. At first, there was no response to this question, and we all assumed the hybrid had drowned where he lay. But soon, to our great relief, he spoke again, albeit very weakly, saying that he was in severe pain, as his lashings were cutting into his stomach so tightly that he needed to find a way to loosen them or he would perish, as he couldn’t bear the suffering much longer. This caused us great distress, as it was entirely pointless to think about helping him while the sea continued to crash over us as it did. We urged him to endure his suffering with courage and promised to take advantage of the first opportunity to relieve him. He replied that it would soon be too late; that he would be done for before we could help him. Then, after moaning for some minutes, he lay silent, leading us to conclude that he had perished.

As the evening drew on, the sea had fallen so much that scarcely more than one wave broke over the hulk from windward in the course of five minutes, and the wind had abated a great deal, although still blowing a severe gale. I had not heard any of my companions speak for hours, and now called to Augustus. He replied, although very feebly, so that I could not distinguish what he said. I then spoke to Peters and to Parker, neither of whom returned any answer.

As the evening progressed, the sea had receded so much that barely one wave broke over the wreck from the windward side in five minutes, and the wind had calmed down significantly, although it was still blowing fiercely. I hadn’t heard any of my companions speak for hours, so I called out to Augustus. He responded, but very weakly, making it hard for me to understand him. I then tried to speak to Peters and Parker, but neither of them answered.

Shortly after this period I fell into a state of partial insensibility, during which the most pleasing images floated in my imagination; such as green trees, waving meadows of ripe grain, processions of dancing girls, troops of cavalry, and other phantasies. I now remember that, in all which passed before my mind’s eye, motion was a predominant idea. Thus, I never fancied any stationary object, such as a house, a mountain, or any thing of that kind; but windmills, ships, large birds, balloons, people on horseback, carriages driving furiously, and similar moving objects, presented themselves in endless succession. When I recovered from this state, the sun was, as near as I could guess, an hour high. I had the greatest difficulty in bringing to recollection the various circumstances connected with my situation, and for some time remained firmly convinced that I was still in the hold of the brig, near the box, and that the body of Parker was that of Tiger.

Shortly after this time, I slipped into a state of partial unconsciousness, where the most beautiful images floated through my mind; things like green trees, waving fields of ripe grain, processions of dancing girls, cavalry troops, and other fantasies. I now remember that in everything I envisioned, movement was a key theme. I never imagined anything still, like a house or a mountain; instead, I saw windmills, ships, large birds, balloons, people on horseback, carriages racing by, and other moving things appearing in endless succession. When I came to, the sun was, I’d guess, about an hour high. I struggled to recall the details of my situation and for a while remained convinced that I was still in the hold of the brig, near the box, and that Parker's body was that of Tiger.

When I at length completely came to my senses, I found that the wind blew no more than a moderate breeze, and that the sea was comparatively calm; so much so that it only washed over the brig amidships. My left arm had broken loose from its lashings, and was much cut about the elbow; my right was entirely benumbed, and the hand and wrist swollen prodigiously by the pressure of the rope, which had worked from the shoulder downward. I was also in great pain from another rope which went about my waist, and had been drawn to an insufferable degree of tightness. Looking round upon my companions, I saw that Peters still lived, although a thick line was pulled so forcibly around his loins as to give him the appearance of being cut nearly in two; as I stirred, he made a feeble motion to me with his hand, pointing to the rope. Augustus gave no indication of life whatever, and was bent nearly double across a splinter of the windlass. Parker spoke to me when he saw me moving, and asked me if I had not sufficient strength to release him from his situation, saying that if I would summon up what spirits I could, and contrive to untie him, we might yet save our lives; but that otherwise we must all perish. I told him to take courage, and I would endeavor to free him. Feeling in my pantaloons’ pocket, I got hold of my penknife, and, after several ineffectual attempts, at length succeeded in opening it. I then, with my left hand, managed to free my right from its fastenings, and afterward cut the other ropes which held me. Upon attempting, however, to move from my position, I found that my legs failed me altogether, and that I could not get up; neither could I move my right arm in any direction. Upon mentioning this to Parker, he advised me to lie quiet for a few minutes, holding on to the windlass with my left hand, so as to allow time for the blood to circulate. Doing this, the numbness presently began to die away so that I could move first one of my legs, and then the other, and, shortly afterward I regained the partial use of my right arm. I now crawled with great caution toward Parker, without getting on my legs, and soon cut loose all the lashings about him, when, after a short delay, he also recovered the partial use of his limbs. We now lost no time in getting loose the rope from Peters. It had cut a deep gash through the waistband of his woollen pantaloons, and through two shirts, and made its way into his groin, from which the blood flowed out copiously as we removed the cordage. No sooner had we removed it, however, than he spoke, and seemed to experience instant relief—being able to move with much greater ease than either Parker or myself—this was no doubt owing to the discharge of blood.

When I finally came to my senses, I noticed that the wind was just a light breeze and the sea was fairly calm; so calm, in fact, that it only washed over the middle of the brig. My left arm had broken free from its bindings and was badly scraped at the elbow; my right arm was completely numb, and my hand and wrist were hugely swollen from the pressure of the rope, which had worked its way down from my shoulder. I was also in a lot of pain from another rope that went around my waist, pulled so tight it felt unbearable. As I looked around at my companions, I saw that Peters was still alive, although a thick line was pulled so tightly around his waist that it made him look like he was nearly cut in half; when I moved, he weakly gestured to me with his hand, indicating the rope. Augustus showed no signs of life at all and was bent nearly double across a splinter of the windlass. Parker spoke to me when he saw me moving and asked if I had enough strength to get him free, saying that if I could gather my strength and manage to untie him, we might still save our lives; otherwise, we would all die. I told him to hang in there, and I would try to free him. Reaching into my pants pocket, I found my penknife, and after several failed attempts, I finally managed to open it. With my left hand, I managed to free my right arm from its bindings and then cut the other ropes that held me. However, when I tried to move, I found I couldn't get my legs to cooperate and couldn’t stand up; I also couldn’t move my right arm at all. When I told Parker this, he suggested I lie still for a few minutes, holding onto the windlass with my left hand to let the blood circulate. Following his advice, the numbness started to fade, allowing me to move one leg, then the other, and soon after, I regained partial use of my right arm. I crawled cautiously toward Parker without getting up, and quickly cut free all the ropes binding him. After a brief pause, he too regained partial use of his limbs. We wasted no time in getting the rope off Peters. It had cut a deep gash through the waistband of his woolen pants, through two shirts, and into his groin, resulting in a lot of blood flowing out as we removed the rope. No sooner had we taken it off than he spoke and seemed to feel immediate relief—able to move much more easily than either Parker or I, likely due to the release of pressure from the blood.

We had little hopes that Augustus would recover, as he evinced no signs of life; but, upon getting to him, we discovered that he had merely swooned from the loss of blood, the bandages we had placed around his wounded arm having been torn off by the water; none of the ropes which held him to the windlass were drawn sufficiently tight to occasion his death. Having relieved him from the fastenings, and got him clear of the broken wood about the windlass, we secured him in a dry place to windward, with his head somewhat lower than his body, and all three of us busied ourselves in chafing his limbs. In about half an hour he came to himself, although it was not until the next morning that he gave signs of recognizing any of us, or had sufficient strength to speak. By the time we had thus got clear of our lashings it was quite dark, and it began to cloud up, so that we were again in the greatest agony lest it should come on to blow hard, in which event nothing could have saved us from perishing, exhausted as we were. By good fortune it continued very moderate during the night, the sea subsiding every minute, which gave us great hopes of ultimate preservation. A gentle breeze still blew from the N. W., but the weather was not at all cold. Augustus was lashed carefully to windward in such a manner as to prevent him from slipping overboard with the rolls of the vessel, as he was still too weak to hold on at all. For ourselves there was no such necessity. We sat close together, supporting each other with the aid of the broken ropes about the windlass, and devising methods of escape from our frightful situation. We derived much comfort from taking off our clothes and wringing the water from them. When we put them on after this, they felt remarkably warm and pleasant, and served to invigorate us in no little degree. We helped Augustus off with his, and wrung them for him, when he experienced the same comfort.

We had little hope that Augustus would recover, as he showed no signs of life; but when we got to him, we found that he had just fainted from blood loss, the bandages we had wrapped around his injured arm having been torn off by the water. None of the ropes that held him to the windlass were tight enough to cause his death. After freeing him from the restraints and clearing him from the broken wood around the windlass, we made sure he was in a dry spot on the windward side, with his head slightly lower than his body, and all three of us focused on rubbing his limbs to warm him. About half an hour later, he regained consciousness, but it wasn’t until the next morning that he recognized any of us or had enough strength to speak. By the time we had freed ourselves from our bindings, it was completely dark, and it started to cloud over, making us very anxious that a strong wind would come up, which could have led to our demise given how exhausted we were. Fortunately, the weather remained mild throughout the night, and the sea calmed down, which gave us great hope for survival. A light breeze continued from the northwest, but it wasn't cold at all. We secured Augustus carefully to windward in a way that would prevent him from slipping overboard with the movement of the vessel, as he was still too weak to hold on. For ourselves, there was no such need. We sat close together, supporting each other with the broken ropes around the windlass and coming up with ways to escape our terrible situation. We felt a lot of relief from taking off our clothes and wringing the water out of them. When we put them back on, they felt surprisingly warm and comfortable, giving us a significant boost in energy. We also helped Augustus out of his wet clothes and wrung them for him, providing him with the same comfort.

Our chief sufferings were now those of hunger and thirst, and when we looked forward to the means of relief in this respect, our hearts sunk within us, and we were induced to regret that we had escaped the less dreadful perils of the sea. We endeavoured, however, to console ourselves with the hope of being speedily picked up by some vessel and encouraged each other to bear with fortitude the evils that might happen.

Our biggest struggles now were hunger and thirst, and when we thought about how to get relief, we felt hopeless and regretted escaping the less terrible dangers of the sea. However, we tried to comfort ourselves with the hope that we would be rescued by a passing ship soon and encouraged each other to endure whatever hardships came our way.

The morning of the fourteenth at length dawned, and the weather still continued clear and pleasant, with a steady but very light breeze from the N. W. The sea was now quite smooth, and as, from some cause which we could not determine, the brig did not lie so much along as she had done before, the deck was comparatively dry, and we could move about with freedom. We had now been better than three entire days and nights without either food or drink, and it became absolutely necessary that we should make an attempt to get up something from below. As the brig was completely full of water, we went to this work despondently, and with but little expectation of being able to obtain anything. We made a kind of drag by driving some nails which we broke out from the remains of the companion-hatch into two pieces of wood. Tying these across each other, and fastening them to the end of a rope, we threw them into the cabin, and dragged them to and fro, in the faint hope of being thus able to entangle some article which might be of use to us for food, or which might at least render us assistance in getting it. We spent the greater part of the morning in this labour without effect, fishing up nothing more than a few bedclothes, which were readily caught by the nails. Indeed, our contrivance was so very clumsy that any greater success was hardly to be anticipated.

The morning of the fourteenth finally arrived, and the weather remained clear and pleasant, with a steady, very light breeze from the northwest. The sea was now quite calm, and for some reason, the brig didn’t tilt as much as it had before, so the deck was relatively dry, allowing us to move around freely. We had now gone over three full days and nights without food or drink, and it was absolutely necessary to try to retrieve something from below. Since the brig was completely filled with water, we approached this task with little hope of success. We made a sort of drag by nailing some pieces of wood from the broken companion-hatch into two wooden planks. Tying these together and attaching them to the end of a rope, we threw them into the cabin and pulled them back and forth, hoping to snag something that could be useful for food or at least help us get it. We spent most of the morning on this effort without success, fishing up only a few bedclothes, which were easily caught by the nails. In fact, our setup was so awkward that any better outcome was hardly to be expected.

We now tried the forecastle, but equally in vain, and were upon the brink of despair, when Peters proposed that we should fasten a rope to his body, and let him make an attempt to get up something by diving into the cabin. This proposition we hailed with all the delight which reviving hope could inspire. He proceeded immediately to strip off his clothes with the exception of his pantaloons; and a strong rope was then carefully fastened around his middle, being brought up over his shoulders in such a manner that there was no possibility of its slipping. The undertaking was one of great difficulty and danger; for, as we could hardly expect to find much, if any, provision in the cabin itself, it was necessary that the diver, after letting himself down, should make a turn to the right, and proceed under water a distance of ten or twelve feet, in a narrow passage, to the storeroom, and return, without drawing breath.

We tried the forecastle next, but that didn't work either, and we were on the edge of despair when Peters suggested that we attach a rope to him and let him dive into the cabin to see if he could bring something back. We welcomed this idea with all the joy that renewed hope could bring. He immediately took off all his clothes except for his pants, and a strong rope was securely tied around his waist, pulled up over his shoulders in a way that prevent it from slipping. This task was very difficult and dangerous; we didn't expect to find much, if anything, in the cabin itself, so the diver would have to let himself down, turn right, swim underwater for about ten or twelve feet through a narrow passage to the storeroom, and come back without taking a breath.

Everything being ready, Peters now descended in the cabin, going down the companion-ladder until the water reached his chin. He then plunged in, head first, turning to the right as he plunged, and endeavouring to make his way to the storeroom. In this first attempt, however, he was altogether unsuccessful. In less than half a minute after his going down we felt the rope jerked violently (the signal we had agreed upon when he desired to be drawn up). We accordingly drew him up instantly, but so incautiously as to bruise him badly against the ladder. He had brought nothing with him, and had been unable to penetrate more than a very little way into the passage, owing to the constant exertions he found it necessary to make in order to keep himself from floating up against the deck. Upon getting out he was very much exhausted, and had to rest full fifteen minutes before he could again venture to descend.

Everything ready, Peters now went down into the cabin, climbing down the companion ladder until the water reached his chin. He then dove in, headfirst, turning to the right as he went, trying to make his way to the storeroom. However, this first attempt was completely unsuccessful. Less than half a minute after he went down, we felt the rope jerk violently (the signal we had agreed on when he wanted to be pulled up). We quickly pulled him up, but in our haste, we bruised him against the ladder. He hadn’t brought anything with him and was unable to get very far into the passage because he had to constantly work to keep himself from floating up against the deck. Once he got out, he was extremely tired and needed to rest for a full fifteen minutes before he could try to go down again.

The second attempt met with even worse success; for he remained so long under water without giving the signal, that, becoming alarmed for his safety, we drew him out without it, and found that he was almost at the last gasp, having, as he said, repeatedly jerked at the rope without our feeling it. This was probably owing to a portion of it having become entangled in the balustrade at the foot of the ladder. This balustrade was, indeed, so much in the way, that we determined to remove it, if possible, before proceeding with our design. As we had no means of getting it away except by main force, we all descended into the water as far as we could on the ladder, and giving a pull against it with our united strength, succeeded in breaking it down.

The second attempt was even less successful; he stayed underwater for so long without signaling that we became worried about his safety and pulled him out without waiting for the signal. When we got him out, he was nearly out of breath, explaining that he had been tugging at the rope repeatedly without us feeling it. This was likely because part of the rope had gotten tangled in the balustrade at the bottom of the ladder. The balustrade was indeed such a hassle that we decided to remove it, if possible, before moving forward with our plan. As the only way to get it out was by brute force, we all descended into the water as far as we could on the ladder and, using our combined strength, managed to break it down.

The third attempt was equally unsuccessful with the two first, and it now became evident that nothing could be done in this manner without the aid of some weight with which the diver might steady himself, and keep to the floor of the cabin while making his search. For a long time we looked about in vain for something which might answer this purpose; but at length, to our great joy, we discovered one of the weather-forechains so loose that we had not the least difficulty in wrenching it off. Having fastened this securely to one of his ankles, Peters now made his fourth descent into the cabin, and this time succeeded in making his way to the door of the steward’s room. To his inexpressible grief, however, he found it locked, and was obliged to return without effecting an entrance, as, with the greatest exertion, he could remain under water not more, at the utmost extent, than a single minute. Our affairs now looked gloomy indeed, and neither Augustus nor myself could refrain from bursting into tears, as we thought of the host of difficulties which encompassed us, and the slight probability which existed of our finally making an escape. But this weakness was not of long duration. Throwing ourselves on our knees to God, we implored His aid in the many dangers which beset us; and arose with renewed hope and vigor to think what could yet be done by mortal means toward accomplishing our deliverance.

The third attempt was just as unsuccessful as the first two, and it became clear that we couldn't do anything this way without some weight to help the diver steady himself and stay on the cabin floor while searching. We searched for a long time without luck for something that could serve this purpose, but finally, to our great relief, we found one of the weather forechains loose enough that we had no trouble breaking it off. After securely fastening it to one of his ankles, Peters made his fourth descent into the cabin, and this time he managed to reach the door of the steward’s room. However, to his immense disappointment, he found it locked and had to come back without getting in, as he could only stay underwater for about a minute at most, no matter how hard he tried. Our situation looked quite bleak, and both Augustus and I couldn't help but tear up as we considered the many challenges we faced and the slim chance of escaping. But this moment of weakness didn't last long. We dropped to our knees to pray to God, asking for His help against the many dangers surrounding us; then we rose with renewed hope and energy to think about what we could still do to try to escape.

CHAPTER 10

Shortly afterward an incident occurred which I am induced to look upon as more intensely productive of emotion, as far more replete with the extremes first of delight and then of horror, than even any of the thousand chances which afterward befell me in nine long years, crowded with events of the most startling and, in many cases, of the most unconceived and unconceivable character. We were lying on the deck near the companion-way, and debating the possibility of yet making our way into the storeroom, when, looking toward Augustus, who lay fronting myself, I perceived that he had become all at once deadly pale, and that his lips were quivering in the most singular and unaccountable manner. Greatly alarmed, I spoke to him, but he made me no reply, and I was beginning to think that he was suddenly taken ill, when I took notice of his eyes, which were glaring apparently at some object behind me. I turned my head, and shall never forget the ecstatic joy which thrilled through every particle of my frame, when I perceived a large brig bearing down upon us, and not more than a couple of miles off. I sprung to my feet as if a musket bullet had suddenly struck me to the heart; and, stretching out my arms in the direction of the vessel, stood in this manner, motionless, and unable to articulate a syllable. Peters and Parker were equally affected, although in different ways. The former danced about the deck like a madman, uttering the most extravagant rhodomontades, intermingled with howls and imprecations, while the latter burst into tears, and continued for many minutes weeping like a child.

Shortly after, an incident happened that I can't help but see as incredibly emotional, filled with extreme joy and then horror, more so than any of the countless events that occurred over the nine long years that followed, which were packed with the most shocking and often unimaginable experiences. We were lying on the deck near the companionway, discussing whether we could still get to the storeroom, when I looked at Augustus, who was facing me, and noticed he had suddenly turned deathly pale, and his lips were quivering in a strange and puzzling way. Worried, I spoke to him, but he didn’t respond, and I began to think he might be unwell when I noticed his eyes, which were fixed on something behind me. I turned my head and will never forget the ecstatic joy that shot through every part of me when I saw a large brig coming towards us, only a couple of miles away. I jumped to my feet as if a musket bullet had hit me in the heart, and, reaching out my arms towards the vessel, stood there motionless, unable to say a word. Peters and Parker were equally stirred, though in different ways. The former was dancing on the deck like a madman, shouting the most outrageous claims along with howls and curses, while the latter broke down in tears, sobbing like a child for many minutes.

The vessel in sight was a large hermaphrodite brig, of a Dutch build, and painted black, with a tawdry gilt figure-head. She had evidently seen a good deal of rough weather, and, we supposed, had suffered much in the gale which had proved so disastrous to ourselves; for her foretopmast was gone, and some of her starboard bulwarks. When we first saw her, she was, as I have already said, about two miles off and to windward, bearing down upon us. The breeze was very gentle, and what astonished us chiefly was, that she had no other sails set than her foremast and mainsail, with a flying jib—of course she came down but slowly, and our impatience amounted nearly to phrensy. The awkward manner in which she steered, too, was remarked by all of us, even excited as we were. She yawed about so considerably, that once or twice we thought it impossible she could see us, or imagined that, having seen us, and discovered no person on board, she was about to tack and make off in another direction. Upon each of these occasions we screamed and shouted at the top of our voices, when the stranger would appear to change for a moment her intention, and again hold on toward us—this singular conduct being repeated two or three times, so that at last we could think of no other manner of accounting for it than by supposing the helmsman to be in liquor.

The ship we saw was a large hermaphrodite brig, built in the Dutch style, painted black, with a gaudy gilded figurehead. She clearly had been through a lot of rough weather, and we guessed she had suffered greatly in the storm that had been so disastrous for us; her foretopmast was missing, and some of her starboard railings were gone. When we first spotted her, as I mentioned earlier, she was about two miles away and upwind, approaching us. The breeze was very gentle, and what surprised us the most was that she was only using her foremast and mainsail, along with a flying jib—naturally, she was coming down toward us very slowly, and our impatience grew to almost a frenzy. The clumsy way she steered was noted by all of us, even in our excitement. She swayed so much that a couple of times we thought it was impossible for her to see us, or we figured that if she had seen us and noticed no one was on board, she might try to tack and head off in another direction. Each time this happened, we yelled at the top of our lungs, and the stranger would seem to change her mind for a moment and continue toward us again—this unusual behavior happened two or three times, until we could only think of one explanation: that the helmsman was drunk.

No person was seen upon her decks until she arrived within about a quarter of a mile of us. We then saw three seamen, whom by their dress we took to be Hollanders. Two of these were lying on some old sails near the forecastle, and the third, who appeared to be looking at us with great curiosity, was leaning over the starboard bow near the bowsprit. This last was a stout and tall man, with a very dark skin. He seemed by his manner to be encouraging us to have patience, nodding to us in a cheerful although rather odd way, and smiling constantly, so as to display a set of the most brilliantly white teeth. As his vessel drew nearer, we saw a red flannel cap which he had on fall from his head into the water; but of this he took little or no notice, continuing his odd smiles and gesticulations. I relate these things and circumstances minutely, and I relate them, it must be understood, precisely as they appearedto us.

No one was visible on her decks until she got within about a quarter of a mile from us. We then spotted three sailors, who we assumed were Dutch based on their outfits. Two of them were lying on some old sails near the forecastle, and the third, who seemed very curious about us, was leaning over the starboard bow close to the bowsprit. This last one was a tall, sturdy man with very dark skin. He appeared to be encouraging us to be patient, nodding at us in a cheerful, though somewhat strange way, and constantly smiling to show off a set of brilliantly white teeth. As his ship got closer, we saw a red flannel cap he was wearing fall into the water, but he paid little attention to it, continuing his odd smiles and gestures. I share these details and circumstances in full, and I share them exactly as they appeared to us.

The brig came on slowly, and now more steadily than before, and—I cannot speak calmly of this event—our hearts leaped up wildly within us, and we poured out our whole souls in shouts and thanksgiving to God for the complete, unexpected, and glorious deliverance that was so palpably at hand. Of a sudden, and all at once, there came wafted over the ocean from the strange vessel (which was now close upon us) a smell, a stench, such as the whole world has no name for—no conception of—hellish—utterly suffocating—insufferable, inconceivable. I gasped for breath, and turning to my companions, perceived that they were paler than marble. But we had now no time left for question or surmise—the brig was within fifty feet of us, and it seemed to be her intention to run under our counter, that we might board her without putting out a boat. We rushed aft, when, suddenly, a wide yaw threw her off full five or six points from the course she had been running, and, as she passed under our stern at the distance of about twenty feet, we had a full view of her decks. Shall I ever forget the triple horror of that spectacle? Twenty-five or thirty human bodies, among whom were several females, lay scattered about between the counter and the galley in the last and most loathsome state of putrefaction. We plainly saw that not a soul lived in that fated vessel! Yet we could not help shouting to the dead for help! Yes, long and loudly did we beg, in the agony of the moment, that those silent and disgusting images would stay for us, would not abandon us to become like them, would receive us among their goodly company! We were raving with horror and despair—thoroughly mad through the anguish of our grievous disappointment.

The brig approached slowly, then more steadily than before, and—I can’t express how intense this moment was—our hearts raced wildly, and we poured out our souls in shouts of gratitude to God for the complete, unexpected, and glorious rescue that was so clearly at hand. Suddenly, a powerful stench drifted from the strange vessel, which was now close to us—a smell that the world has no name for—hellish—completely suffocating—unbearable, unimaginable. I gasped for air, and when I turned to my companions, I saw they were as pale as marble. But we had no time for questions or guesses—the brig was just fifty feet away, and it seemed like she intended to pass right under us so we could board without needing a boat. We rushed to the back, when, all of a sudden, a wide turn threw her off course by five or six points, and as she went by our stern at about twenty feet away, we got a clear view of her decks. Will I ever forget the sheer horror of that sight? Twenty-five or thirty bodies, including several women, lay scattered between the back of the ship and the kitchen, in the most disgusting state of decay. It was clear that no one lived on that doomed vessel! Yet we couldn’t help but shout to the dead for help! Yes, we begged long and loud, in the agony of the moment, for those silent, horrifying figures to wait for us, to not leave us to become like them, to accept us among their company! We were driven mad by horror and despair—totally overwhelmed by the pain of our deep disappointment.

As our first loud yell of terror broke forth, it was replied to by something, from near the bowsprit of the stranger, so closely resembling the scream of a human voice that the nicest ear might have been startled and deceived. At this instant another sudden yaw brought the region of the forecastle for a moment into view, and we beheld at once the origin of the sound. We saw the tall stout figure still leaning on the bulwark, and still nodding his head to and fro, but his face was now turned from us so that we could not behold it. His arms were extended over the rail, and the palms of his hands fell outward. His knees were lodged upon a stout rope, tightly stretched, and reaching from the heel of the bowsprit to a cathead. On his back, from which a portion of the shirt had been torn, leaving it bare, there sat a huge sea-gull, busily gorging itself with the horrible flesh, its bill and talons deep buried, and its white plumage spattered all over with blood. As the brig moved farther round so as to bring us close in view, the bird, with much apparent difficulty, drew out its crimsoned head, and, after eyeing us for a moment as if stupefied, arose lazily from the body upon which it had been feasting, and, flying directly above our deck, hovered there a while with a portion of clotted and liver-like substance in its beak. The horrid morsel dropped at length with a sullen splash immediately at the feet of Parker. May God forgive me, but now, for the first time, there flashed through my mind a thought, a thought which I will not mention, and I felt myself making a step toward the ensanguined spot. I looked upward, and the eyes of Augustus met my own with a degree of intense and eager meaning which immediately brought me to my senses. I sprang forward quickly, and, with a deep shudder, threw the frightful thing into the sea.

As our first loud scream of terror rang out, it was answered by something near the bowsprit of the strange ship that sounded so much like a human scream that even the most discerning ear might have been startled and misled. At that moment, another sudden turn brought the area of the forecastle into view, and we immediately recognized the source of the sound. We saw the tall, stout figure still leaning on the railing, still nodding his head back and forth, but his face was now turned away from us, so we couldn’t see it. His arms were stretched over the rail, with his palms facing outward. His knees were resting on a thick rope, tightly pulled from the heel of the bowsprit to a cathead. On his bare back, where part of his shirt had been torn away, sat a huge seagull, greedily eating the gruesome flesh, its beak and claws deeply buried in it, and its white feathers splattered with blood. As the brig turned further, bringing us into closer view, the bird, with great difficulty, pulled its bloodied head out and, after staring at us for a moment in what seemed to be shock, lazily rose from the body it had been feeding on, flying directly over our deck and hovering for a while with a chunk of congealed and liver-like tissue in its beak. Eventually, the disgusting morsel dropped with a dull splash right at Parker's feet. May God forgive me, but for the first time, a thought flashed through my mind, a thought I won’t mention, and I felt myself stepping toward the bloody spot. I looked up, and the eyes of Augustus met mine with a look of intense eagerness that immediately snapped me back to reality. I quickly sprang forward and, shuddering deeply, threw the horrific thing into the sea.

The body from which it had been taken, resting as it did upon the rope, had been easily swayed to and fro by the exertions of the carnivorous bird, and it was this motion which had at first impressed us with the belief of its being alive. As the gull relieved it of its weight, it swung round and fell partially over, so that the face was fully discovered. Never, surely, was any object so terribly full of awe! The eyes were gone, and the whole flesh around the mouth, leaving the teeth utterly naked. This, then, was the smile which had cheered us on to hope! this the—but I forbear. The brig, as I have already told, passed under our stern, and made its way slowly but steadily to leeward. With her and with her terrible crew went all our gay visions of deliverance and joy. Deliberately as she went by, we might possibly have found means of boarding her, had not our sudden disappointment and the appalling nature of the discovery which accompanied it laid entirely prostrate every active faculty of mind and body. We had seen and felt, but we could neither think nor act, until, alas! too late. How much our intellects had been weakened by this incident may be estimated by the fact, that when the vessel had proceeded so far that we could perceive no more than the half of her hull, the proposition was seriously entertained of attempting to overtake her by swimming!

The body it had come from, hanging on the rope, was easily swayed back and forth by the efforts of the predatory bird, and it was this movement that initially made us think it was alive. As the gull took it off the rope, it swung around and fell partially over, revealing the face completely. Never before had anything looked so terrifying! The eyes were gone, and the flesh around the mouth was missing, leaving the teeth completely exposed. This was the smile that had encouraged us to hold on to hope! But I won't dwell on that. The brig, as I've already mentioned, passed behind us and made its way slowly but surely downwind. With her and her grim crew went all our bright visions of rescue and happiness. If we had been able to think clearly as she drifted by, we might have found a way to board her, but our sudden disappointment and the horrifying nature of what we discovered left us completely unable to move or think. We had seen and felt, but we could neither think nor act, until, unfortunately, it was too late. The extent to which our minds had been weakened by this event is evident in the fact that when the ship had moved far enough away that we could see only half of her hull, we seriously considered trying to catch up to her by swimming!

I have, since this period, vainly endeavoured to obtain some clew to the hideous uncertainty which enveloped the fate of the stranger. Her build and general appearance, as I have before stated, led us to the belief that she was a Dutch trader, and the dresses of the crew also sustained this opinion. We might have easily seen the name upon her stern, and, indeed, taken other observations, which would have guided us in making out her character; but the intense excitement of the moment blinded us to every thing of that nature. From the saffron-like hue of such of the corpses as were not entirely decayed, we concluded that the whole of her company had perished by the yellow fever, or some other virulent disease of the same fearful kind. If such were the case (and I know not what else to imagine), death, to judge from the positions of the bodies, must have come upon them in a manner awfully sudden and overwhelming, in a way totally distinct from that which generally characterizes even the most deadly pestilences with which mankind are acquainted. It is possible, indeed, that poison, accidentally introduced into some of their sea-stores, may have brought about the disaster, or that the eating of some unknown venomous species of fish, or other marine animal, or oceanic bird, might have induced it—but it is utterly useless to form conjectures where all is involved, and will, no doubt, remain for ever involved, in the most appalling and unfathomable mystery.

Since that time, I've desperately tried to find some clue to the horrible uncertainty surrounding the fate of the stranger. Her build and overall appearance, as I've mentioned before, made us believe she was a Dutch trader, and the crew's clothing supported this idea. We could have easily seen the name on her stern and taken other observations that would have helped us understand her identity, but the intense excitement of the moment blinded us to everything else. From the yellowish color of the bodies that weren't completely decayed, we concluded that her entire crew had likely died from yellow fever or some other similar deadly disease. If that’s true (and I can't think of anything else), judging by the positions of the bodies, death must have struck them in a shockingly sudden and overwhelming way, completely different from how even the deadliest outbreaks of disease usually affect people. It's possible that poison, accidentally introduced into their food supplies, caused the disaster, or that they consumed some unknown poisonous type of fish, marine animal, or oceanic bird—yet it’s pointless to speculate when everything remains wrapped in an incredibly disturbing and incomprehensible mystery.

CHAPTER 11

We spent the remainder of the day in a condition of stupid lethargy, gazing after the retreating vessel until the darkness, hiding her from our sight, recalled us in some measure to our senses. The pangs of hunger and thirst then returned, absorbing all other cares and considerations. Nothing, however, could be done until the morning, and, securing ourselves as well as possible, we endeavoured to snatch a little repose. In this I succeeded beyond my expectations, sleeping until my companions, who had not been so fortunate, aroused me at daybreak to renew our attempts at getting up provisions from the hull.

We spent the rest of the day in a daze, watching the boat disappear until it was gone and the darkness brought us back to reality a bit. The hunger and thirst kicked in, taking over all our other worries. However, there was nothing we could do until morning, so we made ourselves as comfortable as possible and tried to get some rest. I managed to sleep better than I expected, waking up when my friends, who had not been as lucky, woke me at dawn to start trying to get supplies from the hull.

It was now a dead calm, with the sea as smooth as I have ever known it,—the weather warm and pleasant. The brig was out of sight. We commenced our operations by wrenching off, with some trouble, another of the forechains; and having fastened both to Peters’ feet, he again made an endeavour to reach the door of the storeroom, thinking it possible that he might be able to force it open, provided he could get at it in sufficient time; and this he hoped to do, as the hulk lay much more steadily than before.

It was completely calm now, with the sea as smooth as I had ever seen it—the weather warm and pleasant. The brig was out of sight. We started our work by wrenching off, with some effort, another one of the forechains; and after tying both to Peters’ feet, he tried again to reach the storeroom door, thinking it might be possible to force it open if he could get to it in time; and he was hopeful he could, since the hulk was lying much more steadily than before.

He succeeded very quickly in reaching the door, when, loosening one of the chains from his ankle, he made every exertion to force the passage with it, but in vain, the framework of the room being far stronger than was anticipated. He was quite exhausted with his long stay under water, and it became absolutely necessary that some other one of us should take his place. For this service Parker immediately volunteered; but, after making three ineffectual efforts, found that he could never even succeed in getting near the door. The condition of Augustus’s wounded arm rendered it useless for him to attempt going down, as he would be unable to force the room open should he reach it, and it accordingly now devolved upon me to exert myself for our common deliverance.

He quickly reached the door, and after taking off one of the chains from his ankle, he tried to force the passage with it, but it was useless; the structure of the room was much stronger than expected. He was completely worn out from staying underwater for so long, and it was clear that someone else needed to take his place. Parker immediately volunteered for the job, but after three unsuccessful attempts, he realized he couldn't even get close to the door. Because of the injury to Augustus’s arm, he couldn't go down either, as he wouldn't be able to force the room open if he got there. So, it was now up to me to do my part for our escape.

Peters had left one of the chains in the passage, and I found, upon plunging in, that I had not sufficient balance to keep me firmly down. I determined, therefore, to attempt no more, in my first effort, than merely to recover the other chain. In groping along the floor of the passage for this, I felt a hard substance, which I immediately grasped, not having time to ascertain what it was, but returning and ascending instantly to the surface. The prize proved to be a bottle, and our joy may be conceived when I say that it was found to be full of port wine. Giving thanks to God for this timely and cheering assistance, we immediately drew the cork with my penknife, and, each taking a moderate sup, felt the most indescribable comfort from the warmth, strength, and spirits with which it inspired us. We then carefully recorked the bottle, and, by means of a handkerchief, swung it in such a manner that there was no possibility of its getting broken.

Peters had left one of the chains in the passage, and when I jumped in, I realized I didn't have enough balance to stay down. So, I decided that for my first attempt, I'd just try to get the other chain back. While feeling around on the floor of the passage for it, I touched something hard, which I immediately grabbed without having time to figure out what it was, and then quickly returned to the surface. It turned out to be a bottle, and our joy was immense when we discovered it was full of port wine. Thanking God for this timely and uplifting help, we quickly used my penknife to pop the cork, and after each taking a moderate sip, we felt an indescribable comfort from the warmth, strength, and spirit it gave us. We then carefully recorked the bottle and swung it gently using a handkerchief, making sure there was no chance of it breaking.

Having rested a while after this fortunate discovery, I again descended, and now recovered the chain, with which I instantly came up. I then fastened it on and went down for the third time, when I became fully satisfied that no exertions whatever, in that situation, would enable me to force open the door of the storeroom. I therefore returned in despair.

After taking a break after this lucky find, I went back down and got the chain, which I quickly brought back up. I then secured it and went down for the third time, when I realized that no amount of effort in that situation would let me open the storeroom door. So, I came back up feeling defeated.

There seemed now to be no longer any room for hope, and I could perceive in the countenances of my companions that they had made up their minds to perish. The wine had evidently produced in them a species of delirium, which, perhaps, I had been prevented from feeling by the immersion I had undergone since drinking it. They talked incoherently, and about matters unconnected with our condition, Peters repeatedly asking me questions about Nantucket. Augustus, too, I remember, approached me with a serious air, and requested me to lend him a pocket-comb, as his hair was full of fish-scales, and he wished to get them out before going on shore. Parker appeared somewhat less affected, and urged me to dive at random into the cabin, and bring up any article which might come to hand. To this I consented, and, in the first attempt, after staying under a full minute, brought up a small leather trunk belonging to Captain Barnard. This was immediately opened in the faint hope that it might contain something to eat or drink. We found nothing, however, except a box of razors and two linen shirts. I now went down again, and returned without any success. As my head came above water I heard a crash on deck, and, upon getting up, saw that my companions had ungratefully taken advantage of my absence to drink the remainder of the wine, having let the bottle fall in the endeavour to replace it before I saw them. I remonstrated with them on the heartlessness of their conduct, when Augustus burst into tears. The other two endeavoured to laugh the matter off as a joke, but I hope never again to behold laughter of such a species: the distortion of countenance was absolutely frightful. Indeed, it was apparent that the stimulus, in the empty state of their stomachs, had taken instant and violent effect, and that they were all exceedingly intoxicated. With great difficulty I prevailed upon them to lie down, when they fell very soon into a heavy slumber, accompanied with loud stertorous breathing.

There seemed to be no hope left, and I could see in my companions' faces that they had resigned themselves to perish. The wine had clearly put them in a kind of delirium, which, perhaps, I had escaped due to my previous immersion after drinking it. They spoke incoherently about things unrelated to our situation, with Peters repeatedly asking me questions about Nantucket. I remember Augustus approached me looking serious and asked to borrow a pocket comb because his hair was full of fish scales, and he wanted to clean it before going ashore. Parker seemed a bit less affected and encouraged me to dive randomly into the cabin and bring back anything I could find. I agreed, and on my first attempt, after staying underwater for a full minute, I retrieved a small leather trunk belonging to Captain Barnard. We opened it with the faint hope it might contain something to eat or drink, but we found nothing but a box of razors and two linen shirts. I dove down again but came back empty-handed. As my head broke the surface, I heard a crash on deck, and upon getting up, I saw that my companions had shamelessly taken advantage of my absence to drink the rest of the wine, dropping the bottle in the process while trying to hide it from me. I confronted them about their heartless behavior, and Augustus began to cry. The other two tried to laugh it off as a joke, but I hope to never witness laughter like that again; the distortion on their faces was truly terrifying. It was clear that the alcohol had hit them hard on empty stomachs, and they were all extremely intoxicated. With great difficulty, I managed to get them to lie down, and they quickly fell into a deep sleep, accompanied by loud, heavy breathing.

I now found myself, as it were, alone in the brig, and my reflections, to be sure, were of the most fearful and gloomy nature. No prospect offered itself to my view but a lingering death by famine, or, at the best, by being overwhelmed in the first gale which should spring up, for in our present exhausted condition we could have no hope of living through another.

I now found myself, in a way, alone in the cell, and my thoughts, without a doubt, were extremely dark and frightening. The only future I could see was a slow death by starvation, or, at best, being swept away in the first storm that came, because in our current state, we had no hope of surviving another.

The gnawing hunger which I now experienced was nearly insupportable, and I felt myself capable of going to any lengths in order to appease it. With my knife I cut off a small portion of the leather trunk, and endeavoured to eat it, but found it utterly impossible to swallow a single morsel, although I fancied that some little alleviation of my suffering was obtained by chewing small pieces of it and spitting them out. Toward night my companions awoke, one by one, each in an indescribable state of weakness and horror, brought on by the wine, whose fumes had now evaporated. They shook as if with a violent ague, and uttered the most lamentable cries for water. Their condition affected me in the most lively degree, at the same time causing me to rejoice in the fortunate train of circumstances which had prevented me from indulging in the wine, and consequently from sharing their melancholy and most distressing sensations. Their conduct, however, gave me great uneasiness and alarm; for it was evident that, unless some favourable change took place, they could afford me no assistance in providing for our common safety. I had not yet abandoned all idea of being able to get up something from below; but the attempt could not possibly be resumed until some one of them was sufficiently master of himself to aid me by holding the end of the rope while I went down. Parker appeared to be somewhat more in possession of his senses than the others, and I endeavoured, by every means in my power, to rouse him. Thinking that a plunge in the sea-water might have a beneficial effect, I contrived to fasten the end of a rope around his body, and then, leading him to the companion-way (he remaining quite passive all the while), pushed him in, and immediately drew him out. I had good reason to congratulate myself upon having made this experiment; for he appeared much revived and invigorated, and, upon getting out, asked me, in a rational manner, why I had so served him. Having explained my object, he expressed himself indebted to me, and said that he felt greatly better from the immersion, afterward conversing sensibly upon our situation. We then resolved to treat Augustus and Peters in the same way, which we immediately did, when they both experienced much benefit from the shock. This idea of sudden immersion had been suggested to me by reading in some medical work the good effect of the shower-bath in a case where the patient was suffering from mania a potu.

The constant hunger I felt was almost unbearable, and I would have done anything to relieve it. I used my knife to cut a small piece of the leather trunk and tried to eat it, but found it impossible to swallow even a bite. However, I thought that chewing small pieces and spitting them out provided some minor relief. As night approached, my companions woke up one by one, each in a state of weakness and fear brought on by the wine, whose fumes had finally dissipated. They trembled like they had a severe fever and cried out desperately for water. Their condition deeply affected me, but it also made me grateful for the fortunate circumstances that had kept me from drinking the wine and spared me from their sadness and distress. However, their behavior worried me tremendously; it was clear that if things didn’t change for the better, they wouldn’t be able to help us ensure our safety. I hadn’t completely given up on the idea of retrieving something from below, but I couldn’t try again until one of them could hold the end of the rope while I climbed down. Parker seemed to be slightly more aware than the others, so I did everything I could to wake him up. I thought a dip in the seawater might help, so I tied a rope around his body, led him to the companionway while he remained completely passive, pushed him in, and quickly pulled him out. I had good reason to feel proud of this decision; he looked much more revived and even asked me rationally why I had done that to him. After I explained my intentions, he thanked me and said he felt much better from the immersion, then started to talk sensibly about our situation. We then decided to do the same for Augustus and Peters, and when we did, both of them benefited greatly from the shock. This idea of sudden immersion had come to me from reading about the positive effects of shower baths for patients suffering from mania a potu.

Finding that I could now trust my companions to hold the end of the rope, I again made three or four plunges into the cabin, although it was now quite dark, and a gentle but long swell from the northward rendered the hulk somewhat unsteady. In the course of these attempts I succeeded in bringing up two case-knives, a three-gallon jug, empty, and a blanket, but nothing which could serve us for food. I continued my efforts, after getting these articles, until I was completely exhausted, but brought up nothing else. During the night Parker and Peters occupied themselves by turns in the same manner; but nothing coming to hand, we now gave up this attempt in despair, concluding that we were exhausting ourselves in vain.

Finding that I could now trust my companions to hold the end of the rope, I made three or four more attempts to dive into the cabin, even though it was really dark, and a gentle but long swell from the north made the hulk a bit unstable. In these attempts, I managed to bring up two case knives, an empty three-gallon jug, and a blanket, but nothing we could eat. I kept trying after I got these items until I was completely worn out, but I didn’t pull up anything else. During the night, Parker and Peters took turns doing the same thing, but since nothing was coming up, we finally gave up this effort in despair, realizing that we were just wearing ourselves out for no reason.

We passed the remainder of this night in a state of the most intense mental and bodily anguish that can possibly be imagined. The morning of the sixteenth at length dawned, and we looked eagerly around the horizon for relief, but to no purpose. The sea was still smooth, with only a long swell from the northward, as on yesterday. This was the sixth day since we had tasted either food or drink, with the exception of the bottle of port wine, and it was clear that we could hold out but a very little while longer unless something could be obtained. I never saw before, nor wish to see again, human beings so utterly emaciated as Peters and Augustus. Had I met them on shore in their present condition I should not have had the slightest suspicion that I had ever beheld them. Their countenances were totally changed in character, so that I could not bring myself to believe them really the same individuals with whom I had been in company but a few days before. Parker, although sadly reduced, and so feeble that he could not raise his head from his bosom, was not so far gone as the other two. He suffered with great patience, making no complaint, and endeavouring to inspire us with hope in every manner he could devise. For myself, although at the commencement of the voyage I had been in bad health, and was at all times of a delicate constitution, I suffered less than any of us, being much less reduced in frame, and retaining my powers of mind in a surprising degree, while the rest were completely prostrated in intellect, and seemed to be brought to a species of second childhood, generally simpering in their expressions, with idiotic smiles, and uttering the most absurd platitudes. At intervals, however, they would appear to revive suddenly, as if inspired all at once with a consciousness of their condition, when they would spring upon their feet in a momentary flash of vigour, and speak, for a short period, of their prospects, in a manner altogether rational, although full of the most intense despair. It is possible, however, that my companions may have entertained the same opinion of their own condition as I did of mine, and that I may have unwittingly been guilty of the same extravagances and imbecilities as themselves—this is a matter which cannot be determined.

We spent the rest of that night in a state of intense mental and physical pain that’s hard to imagine. The morning of the sixteenth finally arrived, and we eagerly scanned the horizon for any sign of relief, but it was in vain. The sea was still calm, with only a long swell coming from the north, just like the day before. It had been six days since we had eaten or drunk anything, except for the bottle of port wine, and it was clear we couldn’t hold out much longer unless we found something to sustain us. I had never seen, nor do I ever want to see again, people so completely emaciated as Peters and Augustus. If I had encountered them on land in their current state, I wouldn’t have recognized them at all. Their faces had changed so much that I could hardly believe they were the same people I had traveled with just a few days earlier. Parker, though very thin and too weak to raise his head from his chest, wasn’t as far gone as the other two. He suffered with great patience, making no complaints and trying to boost our spirits in every way he could think of. As for me, even though I had started the journey in poor health and had always been delicate, I fared better than any of us, being much less weakened and managing to keep my mental faculties surprisingly intact, while the others seemed completely mentally drained and almost childlike, often smiling idiotically and saying the most absurd things. However, there were moments when they would suddenly seem to snap back to awareness, jumping to their feet in a quick burst of energy, talking rationally about their hopes, though filled with utmost despair. It’s possible that my companions saw their condition differently than I saw mine, and I might have unwittingly displayed the same irrational behaviors and foolishness as they did—this is something that can't be determined.

About noon Parker declared that he saw land off the larboard quarter, and it was with the utmost difficulty I could restrain him from plunging into the sea with the view of swimming toward it. Peters and Augustus took little notice of what he said, being apparently wrapped up in moody contemplation. Upon looking in the direction pointed out, I could not perceive the faintest appearance of the shore—indeed, I was too well aware that we were far from any land to indulge in a hope of that nature. It was a long time, nevertheless, before I could convince Parker of his mistake. He then burst into a flood of tears, weeping like a child, with loud cries and sobs, for two or three hours, when becoming exhausted, he fell asleep.

About noon, Parker announced that he saw land off the left side, and I had a hard time stopping him from jumping into the water to swim toward it. Peters and Augustus barely acknowledged what he said, seeming lost in their own thoughts. When I looked in the direction he pointed, I couldn’t see even a hint of the shore—honestly, I knew we were far from any land to entertain such a hope. Still, it took me a long time to convince Parker he was wrong. He then broke down in tears, crying like a child, with loud wails and sobs for two or three hours, until he finally exhausted himself and fell asleep.

Peters and Augustus now made several ineffectual efforts to swallow portions of the leather. I advised them to chew it and spit it out; but they were too excessively debilitated to be able to follow my advice. I continued to chew pieces of it at intervals, and found some relief from so doing; my chief distress was for water, and I was only prevented from taking a draught from the sea by remembering the horrible consequences which thus have resulted to others who were similarly situated with ourselves.

Peters and Augustus now made several unsuccessful attempts to swallow bits of the leather. I suggested they chew it and spit it out, but they were far too weak to follow my advice. I kept chewing on pieces of it from time to time and found some relief from that; my main struggle was for water, and I only held back from taking a drink from the sea by remembering the terrible consequences that had happened to others in the same situation as us.

The day wore on in this manner, when I suddenly discovered a sail to the eastward, and on our larboard bow. She appeared to be a large ship, and was coming nearly athwart us, being probably twelve or fifteen miles distant. None of my companions had as yet discovered her, and I forbore to tell them of her for the present, lest we might again be disappointed of relief. At length upon her getting nearer, I saw distinctly that she was heading immediately for us, with her light sails filled. I could now contain myself no longer, and pointed her out to my fellow-sufferers. They immediately sprang to their feet, again indulging in the most extravagant demonstrations of joy, weeping, laughing in an idiotic manner, jumping, stamping upon the deck, tearing their hair, and praying and cursing by turns. I was so affected by their conduct, as well as by what I considered a sure prospect of deliverance, that I could not refrain from joining in with their madness, and gave way to the impulses of my gratitude and ecstasy by lying and rolling on the deck, clapping my hands, shouting, and other similar acts, until I was suddenly called to my recollection, and once more to the extreme human misery and despair, by perceiving the ship all at once with her stern fully presented toward us, and steering in a direction nearly opposite to that in which I had at first perceived her.

The day went on like this when I suddenly spotted a sail to the east and off our left side. It looked like a large ship and was approaching us almost directly, probably about twelve or fifteen miles away. None of my companions had noticed her yet, and I decided not to mention her for now, fearing we might again be let down about rescue. Eventually, as she got closer, I saw clearly that she was headed straight for us, with her light sails filled. I couldn't hold back anymore and pointed her out to my fellow sufferers. They immediately jumped up, expressing wild joy—crying, laughing like idiots, jumping, stamping on the deck, tearing at their hair, praying and cursing alternately. I was so moved by their reaction and what I believed was our sure chance at rescue that I couldn't help but join in their frenzy, rolling on the deck, clapping my hands, shouting, and other similar expressions of gratitude and excitement, until I was suddenly brought back to the harsh reality of human misery and despair when I saw the ship suddenly turn her stern toward us and steer away from the direction I had first seen her coming.

It was some time before I could induce my poor companions to believe that this sad reverse in our prospects had actually taken place. They replied to all my assertions with a stare and a gesture implying that they were not to be deceived by such misrepresentations. The conduct of Augustus most sensibly affected me. In spite of all I could say or do to the contrary, he persisted in saying that the ship was rapidly nearing us, and in making preparations to go on board of her. Some seaweed floating by the brig, he maintained that it was the ship’s boat, and endeavoured to throw himself upon it, howling and shrieking in the most heartrending manner, when I forcibly restrained him from thus casting himself into the sea.

It took a while for my poor friends to believe that this unfortunate turn of events had really happened. They met all my claims with disbelief and gestures that showed they wouldn’t fall for such trickery. Augustus's behavior affected me deeply. No matter what I said or did, he kept insisting that the ship was getting closer and made preparations to board her. When some seaweed floated by the brig, he claimed it was the ship’s boat and tried to throw himself onto it, crying and screaming in the most heartbreaking way, which forced me to stop him from jumping into the sea.

Having become in some degree pacified, we continued to watch the ship until we finally lost sight of her, the weather becoming hazy, with a light breeze springing up. As soon as she was entirely gone, Parker turned suddenly toward me with an expression of countenance which made me shudder. There was about him an air of self-possession which I had not noticed in him until now, and before he opened his lips my heart told me what he would say. He proposed, in a few words, that one of us should die to preserve the existence of the others.

Having calmed down a bit, we kept watching the ship until she disappeared from view, as the weather turned hazy and a light breeze picked up. As soon as she was completely gone, Parker suddenly turned to me with a look that sent a shiver down my spine. There was a sense of composure about him that I hadn't noticed before, and before he even spoke, I knew what he was going to say. He suggested, in just a few words, that one of us should die to ensure the survival of the others.

CHAPTER 12

I had for some time past, dwelt upon the prospect of our being reduced to this last horrible extremity, and had secretly made up my mind to suffer death in any shape or under any circumstances rather than resort to such a course. Nor was this resolution in any degree weakened by the present intensity of hunger under which I laboured. The proposition had not been heard by either Peters or Augustus. I therefore took Parker aside; and mentally praying to God for power to dissuade him from the horrible purpose he entertained, I expostulated with him for a long time, and in the most supplicating manner, begging him in the name of every thing which he held sacred, and urging him by every species of argument which the extremity of the case suggested, to abandon the idea, and not to mention it to either of the other two.

I had been thinking for a while about the possibility of us being pushed to this last awful point, and I had decided in my heart that I would rather die in any way or situation than go down that path. My determination wasn’t weakened at all by the intense hunger I was feeling. Neither Peters nor Augustus had heard the suggestion. So, I took Parker aside; and silently praying to God for the strength to talk him out of the terrible thought he had, I talked to him for a long time, in the most pleading way possible, begging him by everything he held dear, and using every argument I could think of given the desperation of the situation, to drop the idea and keep it from the other two.

He heard all I said without attempting to controvert any of my arguments, and I had begun to hope that he would be prevailed upon to do as I desired. But when I had ceased speaking, he said that he knew very well all I had said was true, and that to resort to such a course was the most horrible alternative which could enter into the mind of man; but that he had now held out as long as human nature could be sustained; that it was unnecessary for all to perish, when, by the death of one, it was possible, and even probable, that the rest might be finally preserved; adding that I might save myself the trouble of trying to turn him from his purpose, his mind having been thoroughly made up on the subject even before the appearance of the ship, and that only her heaving in sight had prevented him from mentioning his intention at an earlier period.

He listened to everything I said without trying to argue against any of my points, and I started to hope that he would be convinced to do what I wanted. But when I finished speaking, he said that he knew everything I had said was true, and that taking such a path was the most horrible option anyone could think of; however, he felt he could only hold out so long under the strain of human nature. He said it wasn’t necessary for everyone to perish when, by sacrificing one person, it was possible, and even likely, that the others could be saved. He added that I could save myself the effort of trying to change his mind, as he had already made his decision on the matter even before the ship appeared, and that it was only the sight of the ship that had stopped him from expressing his intentions sooner.

I now begged him, if he would not be prevailed upon to abandon his design, at least to defer it for another day, when some vessel might come to our relief; again reiterating every argument I could devise, and which I thought likely to have influence with one of his rough nature. He said, in reply, that he had not spoken until the very last possible moment, that he could exist no longer without sustenance of some kind, and that therefore in another day his suggestion would be too late, as regarded himself at least.

I now urged him, if he wouldn’t agree to give up his plan, at least to postpone it for another day when a ship might come to help us. I repeated every argument I could think of that I believed would resonate with someone of his tough demeanor. He replied that he hadn’t said anything until the very last moment, that he couldn’t go on any longer without some kind of food, and that in another day, his suggestion would be too late for him, at least.

Finding that he was not to be moved by anything I could say in a mild tone, I now assumed a different demeanor, and told him that he must be aware I had suffered less than any of us from our calamities; that my health and strength, consequently, were at that moment far better than his own, or than that either of Peters or Augustus; in short, that I was in a condition to have my own way by force if I found it necessary; and that if he attempted in any manner to acquaint the others with his bloody and cannibal designs, I would not hesitate to throw him into the sea. Upon this he immediately seized me by the throat, and drawing a knife, made several ineffectual efforts to stab me in the stomach; an atrocity which his excessive debility alone prevented him from accomplishing. In the meantime, being roused to a high pitch of anger, I forced him to the vessel’s side, with the full intention of throwing him overboard. He was saved from his fate, however, by the interference of Peters, who now approached and separated us, asking the cause of the disturbance. This Parker told before I could find means in any manner to prevent him.

Finding that nothing I said in a calm tone could sway him, I changed my approach and informed him that he must realize I had suffered less than anyone else from our misfortunes; that my health and strength were, at that moment, much better than his or those of Peters or Augustus. Essentially, I was in a position to get my way by force if necessary, and that if he tried to inform the others about his violent and cannibalistic intentions, I wouldn't hesitate to throw him overboard. At that, he immediately grabbed me by the throat and, pulling out a knife, made several unsuccessful attempts to stab me in the stomach, an atrocity he was only prevented from carrying out due to his weakness. Meanwhile, fueled by anger, I forced him towards the side of the ship, fully intending to throw him over the edge. However, Peters intervened just in time, separating us and asking what the commotion was about. This Parker explained before I could find a way to stop him.

The effect of his words was even more terrible than what I had anticipated. Both Augustus and Peters, who, it seems, had long secretly entertained the same fearful idea which Parker had been merely the first to broach, joined with him in his design and insisted upon its immediately being carried into effect. I had calculated that one at least of the two former would be found still possessed of sufficient strength of mind to side with myself in resisting any attempt to execute so dreadful a purpose, and, with the aid of either one of them, I had no fear of being able to prevent its accomplishment. Being disappointed in this expectation, it became absolutely necessary that I should attend to my own safety, as a further resistance on my part might possibly be considered by men in their frightful condition a sufficient excuse for refusing me fair play in the tragedy that I knew would speedily be enacted.

The impact of his words was even worse than I had expected. Both Augustus and Peters, who apparently had secretly shared the same horrifying idea that Parker was the first to mention, joined him in his plan and insisted that it be put into action right away. I had hoped that at least one of the two of them would still have enough strength of mind to support me in resisting such a dreadful act, and with either of their help, I was confident I could prevent it from happening. Being let down by this expectation, it became absolutely crucial for me to focus on my own safety, as any further resistance on my part might be seen by them in their fearful state as a valid reason to deny me a fair chance in the tragedy I knew was about to unfold.

I now told them I was willing to submit to the proposal, merely requesting a delay of about one hour, in order that the fog which had gathered around us might have an opportunity of lifting, when it was possible that the ship we had seen might be again in sight. After great difficulty I obtained from them a promise to wait thus long; and, as I had anticipated (a breeze rapidly coming in), the fog lifted before the hour had expired, when, no vessel appearing in sight, we prepared to draw lots.

I told them I was okay with the proposal, just asking for about an hour's delay so the fog around us could clear, and hopefully the ship we had seen would be visible again. After a lot of effort, I got them to agree to wait that long; and, as I expected (a breeze picked up quickly), the fog lifted before the hour was up. When no ships appeared in sight, we got ready to draw lots.

It is with extreme reluctance that I dwell upon the appalling scene which ensued; a scene which, with its minutest details, no after events have been able to efface in the slightest degree from my memory, and whose stern recollection will embitter every future moment of my existence. Let me run over this portion of my narrative with as much haste as the nature of the events to be spoken of will permit. The only method we could devise for the terrific lottery, in which we were to take each a chance, was that of drawing straws. Small splinters of wood were made to answer our purpose, and it was agreed that I should be the holder. I retired to one end of the hulk, while my poor companions silently took up their station in the other with their backs turned toward me. The bitterest anxiety which I endured at any period of this fearful drama was while I occupied myself in the arrangement of the lots. There are few conditions into which man can possibly fall where he will not feel a deep interest in the preservation of his existence; an interest momentarily increasing with the frailness of the tenure by which that existence may be held. But now that the silent, definite, and stern nature of the business in which I was engaged (so different from the tumultuous dangers of the storm or the gradually approaching horrors of famine) allowed me to reflect on the few chances I had of escaping the most appalling of deaths—a death for the most appalling of purposes—every particle of that energy which had so long buoyed me up departed like feathers before the wind, leaving me a helpless prey to the most abject and pitiable terror. I could not, at first, even summon up sufficient strength to tear and fit together the small splinters of wood, my fingers absolutely refusing their office, and my knees knocking violently against each other. My mind ran over rapidly a thousand absurd projects by which to avoid becoming a partner in the awful speculation. I thought of falling on my knees to my companions, and entreating them to let me escape this necessity; of suddenly rushing upon them, and, by putting one of them to death, of rendering the decision by lot useless—in short, of every thing but of going through with the matter I had in hand. At last, after wasting a long time in this imbecile conduct, I was recalled to my senses by the voice of Parker, who urged me to relieve them at once from the terrible anxiety they were enduring. Even then I could not bring myself to arrange the splinters upon the spot, but thought over every species of finesse by which I could trick some one of my fellow-sufferers to draw the short straw, as it had been agreed that whoever drew the shortest of four splinters from my hand was to die for the preservation of the rest. Before any one condemn me for this apparent heartlessness, let him be placed in a situation precisely similar to my own.

I really don’t want to focus on the horrific scene that followed; it’s one that, no matter what happens after, I can’t forget even the smallest details of, and its grim memory will taint every moment of my life from now on. Let me get through this part of my story as quickly as the nature of what happened allows. The only way we could think of to decide who would take on this terrible fate was by drawing straws. We made do with small pieces of wood, and it was decided that I would be the one to hold them. I moved to one end of the wreck while my unfortunate companions silently stood at the other end with their backs turned to me. The deepest anxiety I felt throughout this terrifying ordeal happened while I was arranging the lots. There are few situations where a person doesn’t feel a strong urge to cling to life; this urge only intensifies with how fragile that existence becomes. Now that the serious, definite, and grim nature of what I was doing—so different from the chaotic dangers of the storm or the slowly creeping horrors of starvation—gave me a moment to think about the tiny chances I had of escaping the most horrifying death—with the most horrifying purpose—every bit of the energy that had kept me going drained away like feathers blown by the wind, leaving me weak and utterly terrified. At first, I couldn't even gather the strength to tear and fit the small pieces of wood; my fingers wouldn’t cooperate, and my knees were shaking violently. A thousand ludicrous ideas raced through my mind about how to avoid becoming part of this dreadful decision. I thought about getting down on my knees and begging my companions to let me escape this situation; about suddenly attacking one of them, thinking that if I killed one, we wouldn’t need to draw lots—basically considering everything except going through with what I had to do. Finally, after wasting a lot of time in this foolishness, Parker's voice brought me back to reality, urging me to relieve them from the terrible anxiety they were feeling. Even then, I couldn’t force myself to arrange the splinters on the spot but instead thought of every trick I could use to make one of my fellow sufferers draw the short straw, since it had been agreed that whoever drew the shortest of the four pieces from my hand would die to save the others. Before anyone judges me for this apparent coldness, they should try being in a situation just like mine.

At length delay was no longer possible, and, with a heart almost bursting from my bosom, I advanced to the region of the forecastle, where my companions were awaiting me. I held out my hand with the splinters, and Peters immediately drew. He was free—his, at least, was not the shortest; and there was now another chance against my escape. I summoned up all my strength, and passed the lots to Augustus. He also drew immediately, and he also was free; and now, whether I should live or die, the chances were no more than precisely even. At this moment all the fierceness of the tiger possessed my bosom, and I felt toward my poor fellow-creature, Parker, the most intense, the most diabolical hatred. But the feeling did not last; and, at length, with a convulsive shudder and closed eyes, I held out the two remaining splinters toward him. It was fully five minutes before he could summon resolution to draw, during which period of heartrending suspense I never once opened my eyes. Presently one of the two lots was quickly drawn from my hand. The decision was then over, yet I knew not whether it was for me or against me. No one spoke, and still I dared not satisfy myself by looking at the splinter I held. Peters at length took me by the hand, and I forced myself to look up, when I immediately saw by the countenance of Parker that I was safe, and that he it was who had been doomed to suffer. Gasping for breath, I fell senseless to the deck.

Eventually, I couldn't delay any longer, and with my heart nearly bursting, I moved toward the forecastle where my friends were waiting for me. I held out my hand with the splinters, and Peters drew first. He was free—his lot wasn’t the shortest; now there was one more chance against my escape. I gathered all my strength and handed the lots to Augustus. He drew quickly too, and he was also free; now the chances of whether I would live or die were exactly even. At that moment, I felt a fierce rage inside me, and I directed the most intense, almost evil hatred toward my poor fellow, Parker. But that feeling didn’t last long; eventually, with a shudder and closed eyes, I held out the last two splinters to him. It took him a full five minutes to gather the courage to draw, during which agonizing time I never opened my eyes. Eventually, one of the two lots was pulled quickly from my hand. The decision was made, but I didn’t know if it was in my favor or not. No one said a word, and I still couldn’t bring myself to look at the splinter I held. Finally, Peters took my hand, and I forced myself to look up, seeing Parker’s face told me I was safe, and he was the one who was doomed to suffer. Gasping for breath, I collapsed onto the deck.

I recovered from my swoon in time to behold the consummation of the tragedy in the death of him who had been chiefly instrumental in bringing it about. He made no resistance whatever, and was stabbed in the back by Peters, when he fell instantly dead. I must not dwell upon the fearful repast which immediately ensued. Such things may be imagined, but words have no power to impress the mind with the exquisite horror of their reality. Let it suffice to say that, having in some measure appeased the raging thirst which consumed us by the blood of the victim, and having by common consent taken off the hands, feet, and head, throwing them together with the entrails, into the sea, we devoured the rest of the body, piecemeal, during the four ever memorable days of the seventeenth, eighteenth, nineteenth, and twentieth of the month.

I came to just in time to see the tragic end with the death of the man who played the biggest role in making it happen. He didn’t resist at all and was stabbed in the back by Peters, collapsing immediately. I won’t go into detail about the horrifying feast that followed. These scenes might be imagined, but words can’t capture the terrifying reality of them. Let’s just say that after somewhat quenching the intense thirst that consumed us with the victim’s blood, and agreeing to dispose of the hands, feet, and head by throwing them, along with the entrails, into the sea, we ate the rest of the body piece by piece over the unforgettable four days of the seventeenth, eighteenth, nineteenth, and twentieth of the month.

On the nineteenth, there coming on a smart shower which lasted fifteen or twenty minutes, we contrived to catch some water by means of a sheet which had been fished up from the cabin by our drag just after the gale. The quantity we took in all did not amount to more than half a gallon; but even this scanty allowance supplied us with comparative strength and hope.

On the nineteenth, there was a sharp rain shower that lasted fifteen or twenty minutes. We managed to collect some water using a sheet that had been pulled from the cabin by our drag just after the storm. The total amount we gathered was only about half a gallon; but even this small supply gave us a little more strength and hope.

On the twenty-first we were again reduced to the last necessity. The weather still remained warm and pleasant, with occasional fogs and light breezes, most usually from N. to W.

On the twenty-first, we found ourselves in a dire situation once more. The weather continued to be warm and pleasant, with occasional fog and gentle breezes, mostly blowing from north to west.

On the twenty-second, as we were sitting close huddled together, gloomily revolving over our lamentable condition, there flashed through my mind all at once an idea which inspired me with a bright gleam of hope. I remembered that, when the foremast had been cut away, Peters, being in the windward chains, passed one of the axes into my hand, requesting me to put it, if possible, in a place of security, and that a few minutes before the last heavy sea struck the brig and filled her I had taken this axe into the forecastle and laid it in one of the larboard berths. I now thought it possible that, by getting at this axe, we might cut through the deck over the storeroom, and thus readily supply ourselves with provisions.

On the twenty-second, as we were sitting close together, gloomily thinking about our unfortunate situation, an idea suddenly came to me that filled me with a spark of hope. I remembered that when the foremast had been cut away, Peters, being in the windward chains, handed me one of the axes, asking me to put it somewhere safe if I could. I recalled that just a few minutes before the last huge wave hit the brig and filled it, I had taken this axe into the forecastle and placed it in one of the left-side berths. I now thought it might be possible to use this axe to cut through the deck over the storeroom and easily get ourselves some provisions.

When I communicated this object to my companions, they uttered a feeble shout of joy, and we all proceeded forthwith to the forecastle. The difficulty of descending here was greater than that of going down in the cabin, the opening being much smaller, for it will be remembered that the whole framework about the cabin companion-hatch had been carried away, whereas the forecastle-way, being a simple hatch of only about three feet square, had remained uninjured. I did not hesitate, however, to attempt the descent; and a rope being fastened round my body as before, I plunged boldly in, feet foremost, made my way quickly to the berth, and at the first attempt brought up the axe. It was hailed with the most ecstatic joy and triumph, and the ease with which it had been obtained was regarded as an omen of our ultimate preservation.

When I told my friends about this thing, they let out a weak cheer, and we all quickly went to the forecastle. It was harder to get down here than in the cabin, since the opening was much smaller. You'll remember that the entire frame around the cabin hatch had been destroyed, but the forecastle hatch, which was only about three feet square, had remained intact. Still, I didn’t hesitate to try going down; with a rope tied around my body like before, I jumped in feet first, made my way to the berth quickly, and came up with the axe on my first try. It was met with sheer joy and excitement, and the fact that I had gotten it so easily was seen as a sign that we would ultimately be saved.

We now commenced cutting at the deck with all the energy of rekindled hope, Peters and myself taking the axe by turns, Augustus’s wounded arm not permitting him to aid us in any degree. As we were still so feeble as to be scarcely able to stand unsupported, and could consequently work but a minute or two without resting, it soon became evident that many long hours would be necessary to accomplish our task—that is, to cut an opening sufficiently large to admit of a free access to the storeroom. This consideration, however, did not discourage us; and, working all night by the light of the moon, we succeeded in effecting our purpose by daybreak on the morning of the twenty-third.

We started chopping at the deck with all the energy of renewed hope, with Peters and me taking turns with the axe, since Augustus’s injured arm didn’t allow him to help at all. Since we were still so weak that we could barely stand without support, we could only work for a minute or two before needing a break. It quickly became clear that we would need many long hours to complete our task—specifically, to create an opening big enough to allow easy access to the storeroom. However, this thought didn’t discourage us; working all night by the light of the moon, we managed to achieve our goal by daybreak on the morning of the twenty-third.

Peters now volunteered to go down; and, having made all arrangements as before, he descended, and soon returned bringing up with him a small jar, which, to our great joy, proved to be full of olives. Having shared these among us, and devoured them with the greatest avidity, we proceeded to let him down again. This time he succeeded beyond our utmost expectations, returning instantly with a large ham and a bottle of Madeira wine. Of the latter we each took a moderate sup, having learned by experience the pernicious consequences of indulging too freely. The ham, except about two pounds near the bone, was not in a condition to be eaten, having been entirely spoiled by the salt water. The sound part was divided among us. Peters and Augustus, not being able to restrain their appetite, swallowed theirs upon the instant; but I was more cautious, and ate but a small portion of mine, dreading the thirst which I knew would ensue. We now rested a while from our labors, which had been intolerably severe.

Peters volunteered to go down again, and after making all the necessary arrangements like before, he descended and soon came back with a small jar, which, to our great delight, was full of olives. We shared these among ourselves and gobbled them up eagerly before we let him down again. This time he exceeded our expectations, returning right away with a large ham and a bottle of Madeira wine. We each took a modest sip of the wine, having learned from experience the harmful effects of overindulging. The ham, except for about two pounds near the bone, was not fit to eat, as it had been ruined by the saltwater. We divided the good parts among us. Peters and Augustus, unable to hold back their hunger, devoured theirs immediately; but I was more cautious and only had a small portion, fearing the thirst that would follow. We then took a break from our incredibly exhausting work.

By noon, feeling somewhat strengthened and refreshed, we again renewed our attempt at getting up provisions, Peters and myself going down alternately, and always with more or less success, until sundown. During this interval we had the good fortune to bring up, altogether, four more small jars of olives, another ham, a carboy containing nearly three gallons of excellent Cape Madeira wine, and, what gave us still more delight, a small tortoise of the Gallipago breed, several of which had been taken on board by Captain Barnard, as the Grampus was leaving port, from the schooner Mary Pitts, just returned from a sealing voyage in the Pacific.

By noon, feeling a bit stronger and more refreshed, we tried again to gather supplies. Peters and I took turns going down, and we always managed to have varying degrees of success until sundown. During this time, we were lucky enough to bring up a total of four small jars of olives, another ham, a carboy with nearly three gallons of excellent Cape Madeira wine, and what pleased us even more, a small tortoise of the Gallipago breed. Several of these had been taken on board by Captain Barnard as the Grampus was leaving port from the schooner Mary Pitts, which had just returned from a sealing voyage in the Pacific.

In a subsequent portion of this narrative I shall have frequent occasion to mention this species of tortoise. It is found principally, as most of my readers may know, in the group of islands called the Gallipagos, which, indeed, derive their name from the animal—the Spanish word Gallipago meaning a fresh-water terrapin. From the peculiarity of their shape and action they have been sometimes called the elephant tortoise. They are frequently found of an enormous size. I have myself seen several which would weigh from twelve to fifteen hundred pounds, although I do not remember that any navigator speaks of having seen them weighing more than eight hundred. Their appearance is singular, and even disgusting. Their steps are very slow, measured, and heavy, their bodies being carried about a foot from the ground. Their neck is long, and exceedingly slender, from eighteen inches to two feet is a very common length, and I killed one, where the distance from the shoulder to the extremity of the head was no less than three feet ten inches. The head has a striking resemblance to that of a serpent. They can exist without food for an almost incredible length of time, instances having been known where they have been thrown into the hold of a vessel and lain two years without nourishment of any kind—being as fat, and, in every respect, in as good order at the expiration of the time as when they were first put in. In one particular these extraordinary animals bear a resemblance to the dromedary, or camel of the desert. In a bag at the root of the neck they carry with them a constant supply of water. In some instances, upon killing them after a full year’s deprivation of all nourishment, as much as three gallons of perfectly sweet and fresh water have been found in their bags. Their food is chiefly wild parsley and celery, with purslain, sea-kelp, and prickly pears, upon which latter vegetable they thrive wonderfully, a great quantity of it being usually found on the hillsides near the shore wherever the animal itself is discovered. They are excellent and highly nutritious food, and have, no doubt, been the means of preserving the lives of thousands of seamen employed in the whale-fishery and other pursuits in the Pacific.

In a later part of this story, I’ll often reference this kind of tortoise. It’s mainly found, as many of you might know, in the group of islands called the Galápagos, which actually gets its name from the animal—the Spanish word "Gallipago" means a freshwater terrapin. Because of their unique shape and movement, they’ve sometimes been called the elephant tortoise. They can be incredibly large. I’ve seen several that weighed between twelve and fifteen hundred pounds, though I don’t recall any navigator claiming to have seen ones heavier than eight hundred. Their appearance is unusual and even off-putting. They move very slowly, measuredly, and heavily, with their bodies held about a foot off the ground. Their necks are long and very slender, typically ranging from eighteen inches to two feet, and I once killed one with a neck measuring three feet ten inches from shoulder to the end of the head. Its head strikingly resembles that of a snake. They can survive without food for an astonishingly long time; there are accounts of them being thrown into the hold of a ship and staying there for two years without any nourishment—still as fat and healthy as they were when first put inside. In one respect, these remarkable creatures are similar to the dromedary or camel of the desert. They have a pouch at the base of their neck that holds a constant supply of water. In some cases, after a whole year without any food, as much as three gallons of completely fresh and clean water have been found in their pouches. Their diet mainly includes wild parsley and celery, along with purslane, sea-kelp, and prickly pears, on which they thrive extraordinarily well, with plenty of it usually found on the hillsides near the coast wherever these animals are seen. They are excellent and highly nutritious food, and have certainly helped save the lives of countless sailors involved in whaling and other endeavors in the Pacific.

The one which we had the good fortune to bring up from the storeroom was not of a large size, weighing probably sixty-five or seventy pounds. It was a female, and in excellent condition, being exceedingly fat, and having more than a quart of limpid and sweet water in its bag. This was indeed a treasure; and, falling on our knees with one accord, we returned fervent thanks to God for so seasonable a relief.

The one we were lucky enough to bring up from the storeroom was not very large, probably weighing around sixty-five or seventy pounds. It was a female and in great condition, extremely plump, and had more than a quart of clear, sweet water in its bag. This was truly a treasure; and, kneeling together, we offered heartfelt thanks to God for such timely help.

We had great difficulty in getting the animal up through the opening, as its struggles were fierce and its strength prodigious. It was upon the point of making its escape from Peter’s grasp, and slipping back into the water, when Augustus, throwing a rope with a slipknot around its throat, held it up in this manner until I jumped into the hole by the side of Peters, and assisted him in lifting it out.

We had a hard time getting the animal through the opening because it was fighting fiercely and was incredibly strong. It was just about to escape Peter’s grip and slip back into the water when Augustus threw a rope with a slipknot around its neck, holding it like that until I jumped into the hole next to Peter and helped him lift it out.

The water we drew carefully from the bag into the jug; which, it will be remembered, had been brought up before from the cabin. Having done this, we broke off the neck of a bottle so as to form, with the cork, a kind of glass, holding not quite half a gill. We then each drank one of these measures full, and resolved to limit ourselves to this quantity per day as long as it should hold out.

The water we carefully poured from the bag into the jug, which you’ll remember had been brought up from the cabin earlier. Once we did this, we broke the neck off a bottle to create a makeshift glass with the cork, holding just under half a gill. We then each had one of these glasses full and decided to stick to this amount each day as long as it lasted.

During the last two or three days, the weather having been dry and pleasant, the bedding we had obtained from the cabin, as well as our clothing, had become thoroughly dry, so that we passed this night (that of the twenty-third) in comparative comfort, enjoying a tranquil repose, after having supped plentifully on olives and ham, with a small allowance of the wine. Being afraid of losing some of our stores overboard during the night, in the event of a breeze springing up, we secured them as well as possible with cordage to the fragments of the windlass. Our tortoise, which we were anxious to preserve alive as long as we could, we threw on its back, and otherwise carefully fastened.

Over the last couple of days, the weather had been dry and nice, so the bedding we got from the cabin, along with our clothes, was completely dry. This allowed us to spend the night (the twenty-third) in relative comfort, enjoying a peaceful rest after eating a hearty meal of olives and ham, with a little bit of wine. Worried about losing some of our supplies overboard if the wind picked up, we secured them as best as we could with rope to the remnants of the windlass. Our tortoise, which we wanted to keep alive for as long as possible, we flipped onto its back and carefully secured it.

CHAPTER 13

July 24. This morning saw us wonderfully recruited in spirits and strength. Notwithstanding the perilous situation in which we were still placed, ignorant of our position, although certainly at a great distance from land, without more food than would last us for a fortnight even with great care, almost entirely without water, and floating about at the mercy of every wind and wave on the merest wreck in the world, still the infinitely more terrible distresses and dangers from which we had so lately and so providentially been delivered caused us to regard what we now endured as but little more than an ordinary evil—so strictly comparative is either good or ill.

July 24. This morning, we felt incredibly uplifted in both spirit and strength. Even though we were still in a dangerous situation, unaware of our exact location and definitely far from land, with barely enough food to last us two weeks if we were careful, nearly out of water, and drifting aimlessly at the mercy of the wind and waves on what was basically just a wreck, the much worse troubles and dangers we had recently and miraculously escaped made us see our current struggles as just a minor inconvenience—it's amazing how relative good and bad can be.

At sunrise we were preparing to renew our attempts at getting up something from the storeroom, when, a smart shower coming on, with some lightning, we turn our attention to the catching of water by means of the sheet we had used before for this purpose. We had no other means of collecting the rain than by holding the sheet spread out with one of the forechain-plates in the middle of it. The water, thus conducted to the centre, was drained through into our jug. We had nearly filled it in this manner, when, a heavy squall coming on from the northward, obliged us to desist, as the hulk began once more to roll so violently that we could no longer keep our feet. We now went forward, and, lashing ourselves securely to the remnant of the windlass as before, awaited the event with far more calmness than could have been anticipated or would have been imagined possible under the circumstances. At noon the wind had freshened into a two-reef breeze, and by night into a stiff gale, accompanied with a tremendously heavy swell. Experience having taught us, however, the best method of arranging our lashings, we weathered this dreary night in tolerable security, although thoroughly drenched at almost every instant by the sea, and in momentary dread of being washed off. Fortunately, the weather was so warm as to render the water rather grateful than otherwise.

At sunrise, we were getting ready to try again to retrieve something from the storeroom when a sudden shower hit, complete with some lightning. We shifted our focus to collecting water using the sheet we had previously used for this purpose. Our only way of collecting the rain was by holding the sheet out with one of the forechain-plates in the middle. The water collected in the center and drained into our jug. We had almost filled it this way when a heavy squall came in from the north, forcing us to stop as the hulk started rolling so violently that we could barely stay on our feet. We then went forward and secured ourselves to the remains of the windlass like before, waiting for the outcome with much more calm than anyone could have expected under the circumstances. By noon, the wind had picked up to a two-reef breeze and by night it turned into a stiff gale, accompanied by a massive swell. However, experience had taught us the best way to secure ourselves, so we managed to get through that miserable night with reasonable safety, even though we were soaked almost constantly by the sea and felt like we might be washed off at any moment. Luckily, the weather was warm enough that the water actually felt somewhat refreshing instead of cold.

July 25. This morning the gale had diminished to a mere ten-knot breeze, and the sea had gone down with it so considerably that we were able to keep ourselves dry upon the deck. To our great grief, however, we found that two jars of our olives, as well as the whole of our ham, had been washed overboard, in spite of the careful manner in which they had been fastened. We determined not to kill the tortoise as yet, and contented ourselves for the present with a breakfast on a few of the olives, and a measure of water each, which latter we mixed half and half, with wine, finding great relief and strength from the mixture, without the distressing intoxication which had ensued upon drinking the port. The sea was still far too rough for the renewal of our efforts at getting up provision from the storeroom. Several articles, of no importance to us in our present situation, floated up through the opening during the day, and were immediately washed overboard. We also now observed that the hulk lay more along than ever, so that we could not stand an instant without lashing ourselves. On this account we passed a gloomy and uncomfortable day. At noon the sun appeared to be nearly vertical, and we had no doubt that we had been driven down by the long succession of northward and northwesterly winds into the near vicinity of the equator. Toward evening we saw several sharks, and were somewhat alarmed by the audacious manner in which an enormously large one approached us. At one time, a lurch throwing the deck very far beneath the water, the monster actually swam in upon us, floundering for some moments just over the companion-hatch, and striking Peters violently with his tail. A heavy sea at length hurled him overboard, much to our relief. In moderate weather we might have easily captured him.

July 25. This morning the storm had calmed down to a gentle ten-knot breeze, and the sea had settled enough that we could stay dry on the deck. Unfortunately, we discovered that two jars of our olives and all our ham had been washed overboard, despite our best efforts to secure them. We decided not to kill the tortoise just yet and managed to make do with a few olives for breakfast, along with a mix of half water and half wine, which provided us with nice relief and strength without the unpleasant intoxication caused by drinking the port. The sea was still too rough for us to try to gather supplies from the storeroom again. Throughout the day, several items that were not essential to our current situation floated up through the opening, only to be washed overboard almost immediately. We also noticed that the ship was leaning even more, making it impossible for us to stand without tying ourselves down. Because of this, we spent a bleak and uncomfortable day. At noon, the sun was nearly overhead, and we had no doubt that the long stretch of northward and northwesterly winds had pushed us close to the equator. In the evening, we spotted several sharks, and we were especially alarmed by the bold approach of a very large one. At one point, as the ship lurched and the deck dipped into the water, the massive shark swam right up to us, thrashing just above the companion-hatch, and struck Peters forcefully with its tail. Eventually, a strong wave tossed it back into the water, much to our relief. In calmer weather, we would have easily been able to catch it.

July 26. This morning, the wind having greatly abated, and the sea not being very rough, we determined to renew our exertions in the storeroom. After a great deal of hard labor during the whole day, we found that nothing further was to be expected from this quarter, the partitions of the room having been stove during the night, and its contents swept into the hold. This discovery, as may be supposed, filled us with despair.

July 26. This morning, the wind had calmed down a lot, and the sea wasn’t too rough, so we decided to get back to work in the storeroom. After a lot of hard labor all day, we realized that we wouldn’t be able to recover anything from this area since the room's partitions had been destroyed during the night, and everything inside had been dumped into the hold. This discovery, as you can imagine, left us feeling hopeless.

July 27. The sea nearly smooth, with a light wind, and still from the northward and westward. The sun coming out hotly in the afternoon, we occupied ourselves in drying our clothes. Found great relief from thirst, and much comfort otherwise, by bathing in the sea; in this, however, we were forced to use great caution, being afraid of sharks, several of which were seen swimming around the brig during the day.

July 27. The sea was almost calm, with a light breeze coming from the north and west. When the sun heated up in the afternoon, we spent our time drying our clothes. We found great relief from thirst and felt much better overall by taking a dip in the sea; however, we had to be very careful because we were worried about sharks, several of which were spotted swimming around the boat during the day.

July 28. Good weather still. The brig now began to lie along so alarmingly that we feared she would eventually roll bottom up. Prepared ourselves as well as we could for this emergency, lashing our tortoise, waterjug, and two remaining jars of olives as far as possible over to the windward, placing them outside the hull below the main-chains. The sea very smooth all day, with little or no wind.

July 28. Good weather continues. The brig started to lean so dangerously that we worried it would eventually capsize. We got ready as best we could for this situation, securing our turtle, water jug, and two remaining jars of olives as far over to the windward side as possible, placing them outside the hull below the main chains. The sea was very calm all day, with little to no wind.

July 29. A continuance of the same weather. Augustus’s wounded arm began to evince symptoms of mortification. He complained of drowsiness and excessive thirst, but no acute pain. Nothing could be done for his relief beyond rubbing his wounds with a little of the vinegar from the olives, and from this no benefit seemed to be experienced. We did every thing in our power for his comfort, and trebled his allowance of water.

July 29. The weather stayed the same. Augustus’s injured arm started showing signs of decay. He felt drowsy and very thirsty, but there was no sharp pain. There was nothing we could do to help him other than rubbing his wounds with a bit of the vinegar from the olives, and that didn’t seem to help at all. We did everything we could to make him comfortable and tripled his water supply.

July 30. An excessively hot day, with no wind. An enormous shark kept close by the hulk during the whole of the forenoon. We made several unsuccessful attempts to capture him by means of a noose. Augustus much worse, and evidently sinking as much from want of proper nourishment as from the effect of his wounds. He constantly prayed to be relieved from his sufferings, wishing for nothing but death. This evening we ate the last of our olives, and found the water in our jug so putrid that we could not swallow it at all without the addition of wine. Determined to kill our tortoise in the morning.

July 30. It was an incredibly hot day with no breeze. A massive shark lingered near the wreck all morning. We made several failed attempts to catch it using a noose. Augustus was in much worse condition, clearly deteriorating from a lack of proper nutrition as well as the effects of his injuries. He kept praying to be relieved of his pain, wishing only for death. This evening, we finished our last olives and found the water in our jug so rancid that we couldn't drink it without adding some wine. We decided to kill our tortoise in the morning.

July 31. After a night of excessive anxiety and fatigue, owing to the position of the hulk, we set about killing and cutting up our tortoise. He proved to be much smaller than we had supposed, although in good condition,—the whole meat about him not amounting to more than ten pounds. With a view of preserving a portion of this as long as possible, we cut it into fine pieces, and filled with them our three remaining olive jars and the wine-bottle (all of which had been kept), pouring in afterward the vinegar from the olives. In this manner we put away about three pounds of the tortoise, intending not to touch it until we had consumed the rest. We concluded to restrict ourselves to about four ounces of the meat per day; the whole would thus last us thirteen days. A brisk shower, with severe thunder and lightning, came on about dusk, but lasted so short a time that we only succeeded in catching about half a pint of water. The whole of this, by common consent, was given to Augustus, who now appeared to be in the last extremity. He drank the water from the sheet as we caught it (we holding it above him as he lay so as to let it run into his mouth), for we had now nothing left capable of holding water, unless we had chosen to empty out our wine from the carboy, or the stale water from the jug. Either of these expedients would have been resorted to had the shower lasted.

July 31. After a night filled with intense anxiety and exhaustion due to the position of the shipwreck, we got to work on killing and cutting up our tortoise. He turned out to be much smaller than we had expected, although he was in good shape—the total meat we got from him was no more than ten pounds. To make some of it last as long as possible, we chopped it into small pieces and filled our three remaining olive jars and the wine bottle (which we had kept), pouring in the vinegar from the olives afterward. This way, we stored about three pounds of tortoise meat, planning not to touch it until we had finished the rest. We decided to limit ourselves to about four ounces of meat per day, which would last us thirteen days. Around dusk, a sudden downpour with heavy thunder and lightning hit, but it was so brief that we only managed to collect about half a pint of water. We all agreed to give this to Augustus, who now seemed to be at his last breath. He drank the water from the sheet as we held it above him, letting it run into his mouth, since we had nothing left that could hold water—unless we decided to empty our wine from the carboy or the stale water from the jug. We would have resorted to either of those options if the shower had lasted longer.

The sufferer seemed to derive but little benefit from the draught. His arm was completely black from the wrist to the shoulder, and his feet were like ice. We expected every moment to see him breathe his last. He was frightfully emaciated; so much so that, although he weighed a hundred and twenty-seven pounds upon his leaving Nantucket, he now did not weigh more than forty or fifty at the farthest. His eyes were sunk far in his head, being scarcely perceptible, and the skin of his cheeks hung so loosely as to prevent his masticating any food, or even swallowing any liquid, without great difficulty.

The patient seemed to get very little relief from the drink. His arm was completely bruised from the wrist to the shoulder, and his feet felt icy. We expected any moment to see him take his last breath. He looked horrifically thin; so much so that, even though he weighed one hundred twenty-seven pounds when he left Nantucket, he now couldn’t weigh more than forty or fifty at most. His eyes were deeply sunken into his head, barely visible, and the skin on his cheeks sagged so much that it made chewing any food or even swallowing liquids extremely difficult.

August 1. A continuance of the same calm weather, with an oppressively hot sun. Suffered exceedingly from thirst, the water in the jug being absolutely putrid and swarming with vermin. We contrived, nevertheless, to swallow a portion of it by mixing it with wine; our thirst, however, was but little abated. We found more relief by bathing in the sea, but could not avail ourselves of this expedient except at long intervals, on account of the continual presence of sharks. We now saw clearly that Augustus could not be saved; that he was evidently dying. We could do nothing to relieve his sufferings, which appeared to be great. About twelve o’clock he expired in strong convulsions, and without having spoken for several hours. His death filled us with the most gloomy forebodings, and had so great an effect upon our spirits that we sat motionless by the corpse during the whole day, and never addressed each other except in a whisper. It was not until some time after dark that we took courage to get up and throw the body overboard. It was then loathsome beyond expression, and so far decayed that, as Peters attempted to lift it, an entire leg came off in his grasp. As the mass of putrefaction slipped over the vessel’s side into the water, the glare of phosphoric light with which it was surrounded plainly discovered to us seven or eight large sharks, the clashing of whose horrible teeth, as their prey was torn to pieces among them, might have been heard at the distance of a mile. We shrunk within ourselves in the extremity of horror at the sound.

August 1. The calm weather continued, with a really hot sun. We suffered a lot from thirst since the water in the jug was completely disgusting and full of bugs. Still, we managed to drink some by mixing it with wine; however, it barely satisfied our thirst. We felt more relief from bathing in the sea, but we could only do that occasionally because of the constant presence of sharks. It became clear that Augustus couldn’t be saved; he was clearly dying. We couldn’t do anything to ease his pain, which seemed severe. Around noon, he died in severe convulsions, having not spoken for several hours. His death filled us with dread, and it affected our spirits so much that we sat silently by his body all day, only whispering to each other. It wasn’t until after dark that we found the courage to get up and throw the body overboard. By then, it was shockingly decayed, and when Peters tried to lift it, an entire leg came off in his hands. As the mass of decay slipped over the side of the ship into the water, the bright phosphorescent glow around it revealed seven or eight large sharks, the sound of their horrific teeth clashing as they tore apart their prey could be heard from a mile away. We recoiled in sheer horror at the noise.

August 2. The same fearfully calm and hot weather. The dawn found us in a state of pitiable dejection as well as bodily exhaustion. The water in the jug was now absolutely useless, being a thick gelatinous mass; nothing but frightful-looking worms mingled with slime. We threw it out, and washed the jug well in the sea, afterward pouring a little vinegar in it from our bottles of pickled tortoise. Our thirst could now scarcely be endured, and we tried in vain to relieve it by wine, which seemed only to add fuel to the flame, and excited us to a high degree of intoxication. We afterward endeavoured to relieve our sufferings by mixing the wine with seawater; but this instantly brought about the most violent retchings, so that we never again attempted it. During the whole day we anxiously sought an opportunity of bathing, but to no purpose; for the hulk was now entirely besieged on all sides with sharks—no doubt the identical monsters who had devoured our poor companion on the evening before, and who were in momentary expectation of another similar feast. This circumstance occasioned us the most bitter regret and filled us with the most depressing and melancholy forebodings. We had experienced indescribable relief in bathing, and to have this resource cut off in so frightful a manner was more than we could bear. Nor, indeed, were we altogether free from the apprehension of immediate danger, for the least slip or false movement would have thrown us at once within reach of those voracious fish, who frequently thrust themselves directly upon us, swimming up to leeward. No shouts or exertions on our part seemed to alarm them. Even when one of the largest was struck with an axe by Peters and much wounded, he persisted in his attempts to push in where we were. A cloud came up at dusk, but, to our extreme anguish, passed over without discharging itself. It is quite impossible to conceive our sufferings from thirst at this period. We passed a sleepless night, both on this account and through dread of the sharks.

August 2. The weather was still unbearably calm and hot. Dawn found us feeling miserable and completely worn out. The water in the jug was useless now; it had turned into a thick, gelatinous mass, filled with disgusting worms mixed with slime. We tossed it out and cleaned the jug thoroughly in the sea, then poured a bit of vinegar from our pickled tortoise bottles into it. Our thirst was nearly unbearable, and when we tried to quench it with wine, it only made things worse, intensifying our thirst and getting us dangerously tipsy. We even attempted to alleviate our suffering by mixing the wine with seawater, but that led to violent retching, so we never tried that again. All day, we anxiously looked for a chance to bathe, but it was pointless; the hulk was completely surrounded by sharks—probably the same ones that had eaten our poor friend the night before, waiting for another meal. This filled us with deep regret and despairing thoughts. We had found indescribable relief in bathing, and having that taken from us in such a terrifying way was too much to handle. We also felt a constant fear of immediate danger, as even the smallest misstep could put us within reach of those hungry fish, which often swam directly towards us from below. Shouts and efforts from us didn’t seem to scare them away. Even when one of the largest sharks was wounded by Peters with an axe, it kept trying to get in where we were. A cloud rolled in at dusk, but, to our crushing disappointment, it passed without raining. It's impossible to describe how agonizing our thirst was at this time. We spent the night wide awake, anxious about both our thirst and the looming threat of the sharks.

August 3. No prospect of relief, and the brig lying still more and more along, so that now we could not maintain a footing upon deck at all. Busied ourselves in securing our wine and tortoise-meat, so that we might not lose them in the event of our rolling over. Got out two stout spikes from the forechains, and, by means of the axe, drove them into the hull to windward within a couple of feet of the water, this not being very far from the keel, as we were nearly upon our beam-ends. To these spikes we now lashed our provisions, as being more secure than their former position beneath the chains. Suffered great agony from thirst during the whole day—no chance of bathing on account of the sharks, which never left us for a moment. Found it impossible to sleep.

August 3. There’s no sign of relief, and the ship is leaning more and more, making it impossible for us to stand on deck at all. We focused on securing our wine and turtle meat so we wouldn’t lose them if we capsized. We took out two strong spikes from the forechains and, using an axe, drove them into the hull on the windward side, just a couple of feet above the waterline, since we were almost on our side. We lashed our supplies to these spikes, as they were safer than where they were before under the chains. We suffered a lot from thirst all day—no chance of bathing because of the sharks, which wouldn’t leave us alone. We found it impossible to sleep.

August 4. A little before daybreak we perceived that the hulk was heeling over, and aroused ourselves to prevent being thrown off by the movement. At first the roll was slow and gradual, and we contrived to clamber over to windward very well, having taken the precaution to leave ropes hanging from the spikes we had driven in for the provision. But we had not calculated sufficiently upon the acceleration of the impetus; for, presently the heel became too violent to allow of our keeping pace with it; and, before either of us knew what was to happen, we found ourselves hurled furiously into the sea, and struggling several fathoms beneath the surface, with the huge hull immediately above us.

August 4. Just before daybreak, we noticed that the hulk was tipping over, and we quickly got ourselves ready to avoid being thrown off by the movement. At first, the roll was slow and gradual, and we managed to scramble over to the windward side pretty well, having taken the precaution of leaving ropes hanging from the spikes we had driven in for the provisions. However, we hadn't anticipated how quickly things would pick up speed; soon the tilt became too intense for us to keep up with it, and before either of us realized what was happening, we found ourselves flung violently into the sea, struggling several fathoms underwater, with the massive hull right above us.

In going under the water I had been obliged to let go my hold upon the rope; and finding that I was completely beneath the vessel, and my strength nearly exhausted, I scarcely made a struggle for life, and resigned myself, in a few seconds, to die. But here again I was deceived, not having taken into consideration the natural rebound of the hull to windward. The whirl of the water upward, which the vessel occasioned in rolling partially back, brought me to the surface still more violently than I had been plunged beneath. Upon coming up I found myself about twenty yards from the hulk, as near as I could judge. She was lying keel up, rocking furiously from side to side, and the sea in all directions around was much agitated, and full of strong whirlpools. I could see nothing of Peters. An oil-cask was floating within a few feet of me, and various other articles from the brig were scattered about.

As I went under the water, I had to let go of the rope. Finding myself completely beneath the vessel and nearly out of strength, I hardly fought for my life and, within a few seconds, resigned myself to dying. But I was mistaken, not realizing how the hull would naturally bounce back to the windward. The upward swirl of water created by the vessel partially rolling back shot me to the surface even more forcefully than I had been plunged down. When I resurfaced, I estimated I was about twenty yards from the hull. It was lying upside down, rocking violently from side to side, and the sea all around was choppy and filled with strong whirlpools. I couldn’t see anything of Peters. An oil cask was floating just a few feet away, along with various other items from the brig scattered around.

My principal terror was now on account of the sharks, which I knew to be in my vicinity. In order to deter these, if possible, from approaching me, I splashed the water vigorously with both hands and feet as I swam towards the hulk, creating a body of foam. I have no doubt that to this expedient, simple as it was, I was indebted for my preservation; for the sea all round the brig, just before her rolling over, was so crowded with these monsters, that I must have been, and really was, in actual contact with some of them during my progress. By great good fortune, however, I reached the side of the vessel in safety, although so utterly weakened by the violent exertion I had used that I should never have been able to get upon it but for the timely assistance of Peters, who, now, to my great joy, made his appearance (having scrambled up to the keel from the opposite side of the hull), and threw me the end of a rope—one of those which had been attached to the spikes.

My main fear was now because of the sharks I knew were nearby. To keep them at bay, I splashed the water energetically with my hands and feet as I swam toward the hulk, creating a trail of foam. I’m sure that this simple tactic helped me survive; the sea around the brig, just before it rolled over, was so filled with these creatures that I must have been, and actually was, in close contact with some of them as I moved. Fortunately, I made it to the side of the vessel safely, although I was so exhausted from the intense effort that I wouldn’t have been able to get on board without the timely help of Peters, who, to my great relief, appeared (having climbed up to the keel from the other side of the hull) and threw me the end of a rope—one of the ones that had been attached to the spikes.

Having barely escaped this danger, our attention was now directed to the dreadful imminency of another—that of absolute starvation. Our whole stock of provision had been swept overboard in spite of all our care in securing it; and seeing no longer the remotest possibility of obtaining more, we gave way both of us to despair, weeping aloud like children, and neither of us attempting to offer consolation to the other. Such weakness can scarcely be conceived, and to those who have never been similarly situated will, no doubt, appear unnatural; but it must be remembered that our intellects were so entirely disordered by the long course of privation and terror to which we had been subjected, that we could not justly be considered, at that period, in the light of rational beings. In subsequent perils, nearly as great, if not greater, I bore up with fortitude against all the evils of my situation, and Peters, it will be seen, evinced a stoical philosophy nearly as incredible as his present childlike supineness and imbecility—the mental condition made the difference.

Having just barely escaped one danger, we were now faced with another terrifying threat—absolute starvation. All our food supplies had been tossed overboard despite our best efforts to secure them, and with no chance of getting more, we both fell into despair, crying out like children, neither of us trying to comfort the other. Such weakness is hard to imagine, and for those who have never been in a similar situation, it probably seems unnatural; but it's important to remember that our minds were so completely disturbed by the long ordeal of deprivation and fear we had endured that we couldn’t be seen as rational beings at that moment. In later dangers, nearly as great, if not greater, I managed to face the hardships of my situation with strength, and Peters, as you will see, showed a stoic philosophy that was almost as shocking as his current childlike passivity and helplessness—the state of our minds made all the difference.

The overturning of the brig, even with the consequent loss of the wine and turtle, would not, in fact, have rendered our situation more deplorable than before, except for the disappearance of the bedclothes by which we had been hitherto enabled to catch rainwater, and of the jug in which we had kept it when caught; for we found the whole bottom, from within two or three feet of the bends as far as the keel, together with the keel itself, thickly covered with large barnacles, which proved to be excellent and highly nutritious food. Thus, in two important respects, the accident we had so greatly dreaded proved to be a benefit rather than an injury; it had opened to us a supply of provisions which we could not have exhausted, using it moderately, in a month; and it had greatly contributed to our comfort as regards position, we being much more at ease, and in infinitely less danger, than before.

The capsizing of the ship, even with the resulting loss of the wine and turtle, actually didn’t make our situation worse than it had been, except for the loss of the bedclothes we had been using to catch rainwater, and the jug where we stored it. We discovered that the entire bottom, from two or three feet above the bends to the keel, as well as the keel itself, was heavily coated with large barnacles, which turned out to be a great source of nutritious food. So, in two significant ways, the accident we had feared became a benefit instead of a setback; it provided us with a food supply that we couldn’t finish off, even with moderate use, in a month, and it made our living conditions much more comfortable, putting us at ease and in far less danger than before.

The difficulty, however, of now obtaining water blinded us to all the benefits of the change in our condition. That we might be ready to avail ourselves, as far as possible, of any shower which might fall we took off our shirts, to make use of them as we had of the sheets—not hoping, of course, to get more in this way, even under the most favorable circumstances, than half a gill at a time. No signs of a cloud appeared during the day, and the agonies of our thirst were nearly intolerable. At night, Peters obtained about an hour’s disturbed sleep, but my intense sufferings would not permit me to close my eyes for a single moment.

The challenge of finding water made us overlook all the advantages of our changed situation. To be ready to catch any rain that might come, we took off our shirts to use them like we did with the sheets—not really expecting to get more than half a gill at a time, even in the best conditions. There were no clouds in sight throughout the day, and our thirst was almost unbearable. At night, Peters managed to get about an hour of restless sleep, but my intense suffering kept me from closing my eyes for even a moment.

August 5. To-day, a gentle breeze springing up carried us through a vast quantity of seaweed, among which we were so fortunate as to find eleven small crabs, which afforded us several delicious meals. Their shells being quite soft, we ate them entire, and found that they irritated our thirst far less than the barnacles. Seeing no trace of sharks among the seaweed, we also ventured to bathe, and remained in the water for four or five hours, during which we experienced a very sensible diminution of our thirst. Were greatly refreshed, and spent the night somewhat more comfortably than before, both of us snatching a little sleep.

August 5. Today, a light breeze picked up and took us through a huge patch of seaweed, where we were lucky enough to find eleven small crabs, giving us several tasty meals. Their shells were soft, so we ate them whole, and we noticed they made us less thirsty than the barnacles did. Not seeing any sharks in the seaweed, we decided to swim and stayed in the water for four or five hours, during which we really felt our thirst decrease. We felt much better and spent the night a bit more comfortably than before, both of us managing to get some sleep.

August 6. This day we were blessed by a brisk and continual rain, lasting from about noon until after dark. Bitterly did we now regret the loss of our jug and carboy; for, in spite of the little means we had of catching the water, we might have filled one, if not both of them. As it was, we contrived to satisfy the cravings of thirst by suffering the shirts to become saturated, and then wringing them so as to let the grateful fluid trickle into our mouths. In this occupation we passed the entire day.

August 6. Today we were fortunate to have a steady and refreshing rain that lasted from around noon until after dark. We deeply regretted losing our jug and carboy, as with the little way we had to collect water, we could have filled one, if not both. Instead, we managed to quench our thirst by soaking our shirts and then wringing them out to let the welcome liquid drip into our mouths. We spent the whole day doing this.

August 7. Just at daybreak we both at the same instant descried a sail to the eastward, and evidently coming towards us! We hailed the glorious sight with a long, although feeble shout of rapture; and began instantly to make every signal in our power, by flaring the shirts in the air, leaping as high as our weak condition would permit, and even by hallooing with all the strength of our lungs, although the vessel could not have been less than fifteen miles distant. However, she still continued to near our hulk, and we felt that, if she but held her present course, she must eventually come so close as to perceive us. In about an hour after we first discovered her, we could clearly see the people on her decks. She was a long, low, and rakish-looking topsail schooner, with a black ball in her foretopsail, and had, apparently, a full crew. We now became alarmed, for we could hardly imagine it possible that she did not observe us, and were apprehensive that she meant to leave us to perish as we were—an act of fiendish barbarity, which, however incredible it may appear, has been repeatedly perpetuated at sea, under circumstances very nearly similar, and by beings who were regarded as belonging to the human species. {*2} In this instance, however, by the mercy of God, we were destined to be most happily deceived; for, presently we were aware of a sudden commotion on the deck of the stranger, who immediately afterward ran up a British flag, and, hauling her wind, bore up directly upon us. In half an hour more we found ourselves in her cabin. She proved to be the Jane Guy, of Liverpool, Captain Guy, bound on a sealing and trading voyage to the South Seas and Pacific.

August 7. Just at daybreak, we both spotted a sail to the east at the same moment, and it was clearly coming toward us! We greeted the amazing sight with a long, though weak, shout of joy and immediately started making every signal we could—waving our shirts in the air, jumping as high as our exhausted bodies would allow, and even shouting at the top of our lungs, even though the vessel was at least fifteen miles away. Nevertheless, it continued to approach our hulk, and we realized that if it maintained its course, it would eventually get close enough to see us. About an hour after we first spotted her, we could clearly see the people on board. She was a sleek, low-topped schooner with a black ball in her foretopsail and appeared to have a full crew. We became anxious, as we could hardly believe they didn’t see us, and worried that they might leave us to perish, a cruel act that, despite sounding unbelievable, has happened at sea under very similar circumstances and by people who were considered human. {*2} However, in this instance, by the grace of God, we were about to be pleasantly surprised; we noticed a sudden movement on the deck of the ship, which shortly afterward raised a British flag and changed course directly toward us. In half an hour, we found ourselves in her cabin. She turned out to be the Jane Guy from Liverpool, Captain Guy, on a sealing and trading voyage to the South Seas and Pacific.

CHAPTER 14

The Jane Guy was a fine-looking topsail schooner of a hundred and eighty tons burden. She was unusually sharp in the bows, and on a wind, in moderate weather, the fastest sailer I have ever seen. Her qualities, however, as a rough sea-boat, were not so good, and her draught of water was by far too great for the trade to which she was destined. For this peculiar service, a larger vessel, and one of a light proportionate draught, is desirable—say a vessel of from three hundred to three hundred and fifty tons. She should be bark-rigged, and in other respects of a different construction from the usual South Sea ships. It is absolutely necessary that she should be well armed. She should have, say ten or twelve twelve-pound carronades, and two or three long twelves, with brass blunderbusses, and water-tight arm-chests for each top. Her anchors and cables should be of far greater strength than is required for any other species of trade, and, above all, her crew should be numerous and efficient—not less, for such a vessel as I have described, than fifty or sixty able-bodied men. The Jane Guy had a crew of thirty-five, all able seamen, besides the captain and mate, but she was not altogether as well armed or otherwise equipped, as a navigator acquainted with the difficulties and dangers of the trade could have desired.

The Jane Guy was a sleek topsail schooner weighing one hundred and eighty tons. She had a sharp bow, and in moderate weather, she was the fastest sailboat I’ve ever seen. However, her performance in rough seas wasn't great, and her draft was way too deep for the type of trade she was meant for. For this kind of service, a larger vessel with a lighter draft is needed—something in the range of three hundred to three hundred fifty tons. It should be bark-rigged and built differently from the typical South Sea ships. It's essential for it to be well-armed. Ideally, it should carry ten or twelve twelve-pound carronades, along with two or three long twelves, brass blunderbusses, and watertight arm-chests for each top. Her anchors and cables need to be much stronger than what's required for any other type of trade, and most importantly, her crew should be large and effective—no less than fifty or sixty skilled men for a vessel like the one I described. The Jane Guy had a crew of thirty-five, all experienced sailors, plus the captain and mate, but she wasn’t quite as well armed or equipped as a navigator familiar with the challenges and risks of the trade would have preferred.

Captain Guy was a gentleman of great urbanity of manner, and of considerable experience in the southern traffic, to which he had devoted a great portion of his life. He was deficient, however, in energy, and, consequently, in that spirit of enterprise which is here so absolutely requisite. He was part owner of the vessel in which he sailed, and was invested with discretionary powers to cruise in the South Seas for any cargo which might come most readily to hand. He had on board, as usual in such voyages, beads, looking-glasses, tinder-works, axes, hatchets, saws, adzes, planes, chisels, gouges, gimlets, files, spokeshaves, rasps, hammers, nails, knives, scissors, razors, needles, thread, crockery-ware, calico, trinkets, and other similar articles.

Captain Guy was a refined gentleman with a polite demeanor and considerable experience in the southern trade, to which he had dedicated a significant part of his life. However, he lacked the energy and entrepreneurial spirit that was absolutely necessary here. He was a partial owner of the ship he sailed and had the authority to cruise the South Seas for any cargo that might be readily available. As usual for such voyages, he had on board items like beads, mirrors, tinder, axes, hatchets, saws, adzes, planes, chisels, gouges, gimlets, files, spokeshaves, rasps, hammers, nails, knives, scissors, razors, needles, thread, pottery, fabric, trinkets, and other similar goods.

The schooner sailed from Liverpool on the tenth of July, crossed the Tropic of Cancer on the twenty-fifth, in longitude twenty degrees west, and reached Sal, one of the Cape Verd islands, on the twenty-ninth, where she took in salt and other necessaries for the voyage. On the third of August, she left the Cape Verds and steered southwest, stretching over toward the coast of Brazil, so as to cross the equator between the meridians of twenty-eight and thirty degrees west longitude. This is the course usually taken by vessels bound from Europe to the Cape of Good Hope, or by that route to the East Indies. By proceeding thus they avoid the calms and strong contrary currents which continually prevail on the coast of Guinea, while, in the end, it is found to be the shortest track, as westerly winds are never wanting afterward by which to reach the Cape. It was Captain Guy’s intention to make his first stoppage at Kerguelen’s Land—I hardly know for what reason. On the day we were picked up the schooner was off Cape St. Roque, in longitude thirty-one degrees west; so that, when found, we had drifted probably, from north to south, not less than five-and-twenty degrees!

The schooner left Liverpool on July 10th, crossed the Tropic of Cancer on the 25th at 20 degrees west longitude, and arrived at Sal, one of the Cape Verde islands, on the 29th, where it loaded up on salt and other essentials for the journey. On August 3rd, it departed the Cape Verds and headed southwest toward the coast of Brazil, aiming to cross the equator between 28 and 30 degrees west longitude. This is the typical route for ships traveling from Europe to the Cape of Good Hope or to the East Indies. By taking this path, they can avoid the calm seas and strong opposing currents that constantly affect the coast of Guinea, and ultimately, it turns out to be the shortest route since westerly winds are always available afterward to reach the Cape. Captain Guy planned to make his first stop at Kerguelen's Land—I’m not quite sure why. On the day we were rescued, the schooner was off Cape St. Roque, at 31 degrees west longitude; so by the time we were found, we had likely drifted from north to south, not less than twenty-five degrees!

On board the Jane Guy we were treated with all the kindness our distressed situation demanded. In about a fortnight, during which time we continued steering to the southeast, with gentle breezes and fine weather, both Peters and myself recovered entirely from the effects of our late privation and dreadful sufferings, and we began to remember what had passed rather as a frightful dream from which we had been happily awakened, than as events which had taken place in sober and naked reality. I have since found that this species of partial oblivion is usually brought about by sudden transition, whether from joy to sorrow or from sorrow to joy—the degree of forgetfulness being proportioned to the degree of difference in the exchange. Thus, in my own case, I now feel it impossible to realize the full extent of the misery which I endured during the days spent upon the hulk. The incidents are remembered, but not the feelings which the incidents elicited at the time of their occurrence. I only know, that when they did occur, I then thought human nature could sustain nothing more of agony.

On board the Jane Guy, we were given all the kindness we needed in our troubled situation. After about two weeks, during which we kept heading southeast with gentle breezes and nice weather, both Peters and I fully recovered from the effects of our recent hardships and terrible suffering. We started to think of what had happened more like a frightening dream we had happily woken up from, rather than events that had occurred in harsh reality. I've since learned that this type of partial forgetting usually happens due to sudden changes, whether from joy to sorrow or from sorrow to joy—the amount of forgetfulness corresponds to how different the two feelings are. So, in my case, I now find it hard to grasp the full extent of the misery I endured during the days spent on the hulk. I remember the incidents, but not the emotions they triggered at the time. All I can say is that when those moments happened, I believed human nature couldn’t handle any more agony.

We continued our voyage for some weeks without any incidents of greater moment than the occasional meeting with whaling-ships, and more frequently with the black or right whale, so called in contradistinction to the spermaceti. These, however, were chiefly found south of the twenty-fifth parallel. On the sixteenth of September, being in the vicinity of the Cape of Good Hope, the schooner encountered her first gale of any violence since leaving Liverpool. In this neighborhood, but more frequently to the south and east of the promontory (we were to the westward), navigators have often to contend with storms from the northward, which rage with great fury. They always bring with them a heavy sea, and one of their most dangerous features is the instantaneous chopping round of the wind, an occurrence almost certain to take place during the greatest force of the gale. A perfect hurricane will be blowing at one moment from the northward or northeast, and in the next not a breath of wind will be felt in that direction, while from the southwest it will come out all at once with a violence almost inconceivable. A bright spot to the southward is the sure forerunner of the change, and vessels are thus enabled to take the proper precautions.

We continued our journey for several weeks without any significant incidents, apart from the occasional encounters with whaling ships and more often with black or right whales, named in contrast to the sperm whale. These mainly appeared south of the twenty-fifth parallel. On September 16th, while near the Cape of Good Hope, the schooner faced its first serious storm since leaving Liverpool. In this area, but more often to the south and east of the cape (we were to the west), sailors frequently deal with fierce storms coming from the north that rage intensely. They always bring heavy seas, and one of their most dangerous aspects is the sudden shift in wind direction, which almost always happens when the storm is at its peak. One moment, a fierce hurricane might be blowing from the north or northeast, and the next, there’s not a trace of wind from that direction, while a strong wind from the southwest suddenly kicks in with almost unimaginable force. A bright patch in the sky to the south is a sure sign of the approaching change, allowing ships to take necessary precautions.

It was about six in the morning when the blow came on with a white squall, and, as usual, from the northward. By eight it had increased very much, and brought down upon us one of the most tremendous seas I had then ever beheld. Every thing had been made as snug as possible, but the schooner laboured excessively, and gave evidence of her bad qualities as a seaboat, pitching her forecastle under at every plunge and with the greatest difficulty struggling up from one wave before she was buried in another. Just before sunset the bright spot for which we had been on the look-out made its appearance in the southwest, and in an hour afterward we perceived the little headsail we carried flapping listlessly against the mast. In two minutes more, in spite of every preparation, we were hurled on our beam-ends, as if by magic, and a perfect wilderness of foam made a clear breach over us as we lay. The blow from the southwest, however, luckily proved to be nothing more than a squall, and we had the good fortune to right the vessel without the loss of a spar. A heavy cross sea gave us great trouble for a few hours after this, but toward morning we found ourselves in nearly as good condition as before the gale. Captain Guy considered that he had made an escape little less than miraculous.

It was around six in the morning when the strong wind hit us with a white squall, coming from the north as usual. By eight, it had intensified significantly, bringing one of the largest seas I had ever witnessed. Everything had been secured as tightly as possible, but the schooner struggled tremendously, showing her poor seafaring abilities, with her bow going underwater with each plunge and barely managing to rise from one wave before being submerged in another. Just before sunset, the bright spot we had been watching appeared in the southwest, and an hour later we noticed the small headsail we were carrying flapping weakly against the mast. Two minutes later, despite all precautions, we were knocked on our side as if by magic, and a massive wave of foam crashed over us as we lay there. Fortunately, the strong wind from the southwest turned out to be just a squall, and we were lucky enough to right the vessel without losing any spars. A heavy cross sea caused us a lot of trouble for a few hours afterward, but by morning we found ourselves nearly in the same condition as before the storm. Captain Guy thought that our escape was nothing short of miraculous.

On the thirteenth of October we came in sight of Prince Edward’s Island, in latitude 46 degrees 53’ S., longitude 37 degrees 46’ E. Two days afterward we found ourselves near Possession Island, and presently passed the islands of Crozet, in latitude 42 degrees 59’ S., longitude 48 degrees E. On the eighteenth we made Kerguelen’s or Desolation Island, in the Southern Indian Ocean, and came to anchor in Christmas Harbour, having four fathoms of water.

On October 13th, we spotted Prince Edward’s Island, at latitude 46 degrees 53' S, longitude 37 degrees 46' E. Two days later, we were near Possession Island and soon passed the Crozet Islands, at latitude 42 degrees 59' S, longitude 48 degrees E. On the 18th, we reached Kerguelen’s or Desolation Island in the southern Indian Ocean and anchored in Christmas Harbour, where the water was four fathoms deep.

This island, or rather group of islands, bears southeast from the Cape of Good Hope, and is distant therefrom nearly eight hundred leagues. It was first discovered in 1772, by the Baron de Kergulen, or Kerguelen, a Frenchman, who, thinking the land to form a portion of an extensive southern continent carried home information to that effect, which produced much excitement at the time. The government, taking the matter up, sent the baron back in the following year for the purpose of giving his new discovery a critical examination, when the mistake was discovered. In 1777, Captain Cook fell in with the same group, and gave to the principal one the name of Desolation Island, a title which it certainly well deserves. Upon approaching the land, however, the navigator might be induced to suppose otherwise, as the sides of most of the hills, from September to March, are clothed with very brilliant verdure. This deceitful appearance is caused by a small plant resembling saxifrage, which is abundant, growing in large patches on a species of crumbling moss. Besides this plant there is scarcely a sign of vegetation on the island, if we except some coarse rank grass near the harbor, some lichen, and a shrub which bears resemblance to a cabbage shooting into seed, and which has a bitter and acrid taste.

This island, or rather group of islands, lies southeast of the Cape of Good Hope, about eight hundred leagues away. It was first discovered in 1772 by Baron de Kerguelen, a Frenchman, who mistakenly thought it was part of a vast southern continent and reported accordingly, sparking considerable excitement at the time. The government took interest in this discovery and sent the baron back the following year for a closer look, during which the error was revealed. In 1777, Captain Cook encountered the same group and named the main island Desolation Island, a name it truly deserves. However, as the navigator approached the land, he might have been led to think otherwise, as most of the hills are covered in bright greenery from September to March. This misleading appearance is due to a small plant resembling saxifrage, which grows in large patches on a type of crumbling moss. Aside from this plant, there is hardly any other vegetation on the island, except for some coarse grass near the harbor, some lichen, and a shrub that looks like a cabbage going to seed, which has a bitter and sharp taste.

The face of the country is hilly, although none of the hills can be called lofty. Their tops are perpetually covered with snow. There are several harbors, of which Christmas Harbour is the most convenient. It is the first to be met with on the northeast side of the island after passing Cape Francois, which forms the northern shore, and, by its peculiar shape, serves to distinguish the harbour. Its projecting point terminates in a high rock, through which is a large hole, forming a natural arch. The entrance is in latitude 48 degrees 40’ S., longitude 69 degrees 6’ E. Passing in here, good anchorage may be found under the shelter of several small islands, which form a sufficient protection from all easterly winds. Proceeding on eastwardly from this anchorage you come to Wasp Bay, at the head of the harbour. This is a small basin, completely landlocked, into which you can go with four fathoms, and find anchorage in from ten to three, hard clay bottom. A ship might lie here with her best bower ahead all the year round without risk. To the westward, at the head of Wasp Bay, is a small stream of excellent water, easily procured.

The landscape of the country is hilly, but none of the hills are particularly high. Their peaks are always covered in snow. There are several harbors, among which Christmas Harbour is the most convenient. It's the first one you encounter on the northeast side of the island after passing Cape Francois, which forms the northern shore and has a unique shape that helps identify the harbor. Its jutting point ends in a high rock with a large hole in it, creating a natural arch. The entrance is located at 48 degrees 40' S latitude and 69 degrees 6' E longitude. Once you enter, you can find good anchorage sheltered by several small islands, providing protection from easterly winds. Heading east from this anchorage, you'll reach Wasp Bay at the head of the harbor. This small, completely enclosed basin allows access with four fathoms of water and offers anchorage in depths ranging from ten to three fathoms, with a hard clay bottom. A ship could stay here with its best bower anchor down all year round without risk. To the west at the head of Wasp Bay, there's a small stream of excellent water that can be easily accessed.

Some seal of the fur and hair species are still to be found on Kerguelen’s Island, and sea elephants abound. The feathered tribes are discovered in great numbers. Penguins are very plenty, and of these there are four different kinds. The royal penguin, so called from its size and beautiful plumage, is the largest. The upper part of the body is usually gray, sometimes of a lilac tint; the under portion of the purest white imaginable. The head is of a glossy and most brilliant black, the feet also. The chief beauty of plumage, however, consists in two broad stripes of a gold color, which pass along from the head to the breast. The bill is long, and either pink or bright scarlet. These birds walk erect; with a stately carriage. They carry their heads high with their wings drooping like two arms, and, as their tails project from their body in a line with the legs, the resemblance to a human figure is very striking, and would be apt to deceive the spectator at a casual glance or in the gloom of the evening. The royal penguins which we met with on Kerguelen’s Land were rather larger than a goose. The other kinds are the macaroni, the jackass, and the rookery penguin. These are much smaller, less beautiful in plumage, and different in other respects.

Some seals of the fur and hair species can still be found on Kerguelen’s Island, and sea elephants are plentiful. There are many types of birds here. Penguins are abundant, with four different kinds. The royal penguin, named for its size and beautiful feathers, is the largest. The upper part of its body is usually gray, sometimes with a lilac tint; the underside is the purest white. The head and feet are a glossy and brilliant black. The main beauty of its plumage comes from two broad gold stripes that run from the head to the breast. Its bill is long and either pink or bright scarlet. These birds walk upright, with a dignified posture. They hold their heads high, with their wings hanging down like two arms, and since their tails extend from their bodies in line with their legs, they strikingly resemble a human figure, which can easily confuse an observer at a quick glance or in the dim light of evening. The royal penguins we encountered on Kerguelen’s Land were slightly larger than a goose. The other types are the macaroni, the jackass, and the rookery penguin. These are much smaller, less beautiful in appearance, and different in other ways.

Besides the penguin many other birds are here to be found, among which may be mentioned sea-hens, blue peterels, teal, ducks, Port Egmont hens, shags, Cape pigeons, the nelly, sea swallows, terns, sea gulls, Mother Carey’s chickens, Mother Carey’s geese, or the great peterel, and, lastly, the albatross.

Besides the penguin, many other birds can be found here, including sea hens, blue petrels, teal, ducks, Port Egmont hens, shags, Cape pigeons, the nelly, sea swallows, terns, seagulls, Mother Carey’s chickens, Mother Carey’s geese, the great petrel, and finally, the albatross.

The great peterel is as large as the common albatross, and is carnivorous. It is frequently called the break-bones, or osprey peterel. They are not at all shy, and, when properly cooked, are palatable food. In flying they sometimes sail very close to the surface of the water, with the wings expanded, without appearing to move them in the least degree, or make any exertion with them whatever.

The great petrel is about the same size as the common albatross and is a meat eater. It's often referred to as the break-bones or osprey petrel. They aren't shy at all, and when cooked properly, they're actually quite tasty. While flying, they sometimes glide very close to the water's surface with their wings spread, appearing to hardly move them or exert any effort at all.

The albatross is one of the largest and fiercest of the South Sea birds. It is of the gull species, and takes its prey on the wing, never coming on land except for the purpose of breeding. Between this bird and the penguin the most singular friendship exists. Their nests are constructed with great uniformity upon a plan concerted between the two species—that of the albatross being placed in the centre of a little square formed by the nests of four penguins. Navigators have agreed in calling an assemblage of such encampments a rookery. These rookeries have been often described, but as my readers may not all have seen these descriptions, and as I shall have occasion hereafter to speak of the penguin and albatross, it will not be amiss to say something here of their mode of building and living.

The albatross is one of the largest and most powerful birds of the South Sea. It belongs to the gull family and catches its food while flying, only landing to breed. There's a unique friendship between this bird and the penguin. They build their nests in a very organized way according to a plan agreed upon by both species—the albatross's nest sits in the center of a small square formed by the nests of four penguins. Sailors have referred to a group of these nesting sites as a rookery. These rookeries have been described many times, but since not all readers may have seen these descriptions and I will need to mention the penguin and albatross later, it’s worthwhile to discuss here how they build their nests and live.

When the season for incubation arrives, the birds assemble in vast numbers, and for some days appear to be deliberating upon the proper course to be pursued. At length they proceed to action. A level piece of ground is selected, of suitable extent, usually comprising three or four acres, and situated as near the sea as possible, being still beyond its reach. The spot is chosen with reference to its evenness of surface, and that is preferred which is the least encumbered with stones. This matter being arranged, the birds proceed, with one accord, and actuated apparently by one mind, to trace out, with mathematical accuracy, either a square or other parallelogram, as may best suit the nature of the ground, and of just sufficient size to accommodate easily all the birds assembled, and no more—in this particular seeming determined upon preventing the access of future stragglers who have not participated in the labor of the encampment. One side of the place thus marked out runs parallel with the water’s edge, and is left open for ingress or egress.

When the incubation season arrives, the birds gather in large numbers and seem to spend a few days deciding on the best approach. Eventually, they take action. They select a flat area of land, usually about three or four acres, located as close to the sea as possible but still out of its reach. The location is chosen for its even surface, and the area with the fewest stones is preferred. Once this is settled, the birds move together as if guided by a single mind, carefully outlining either a square or another rectangle that fits the land, just big enough to comfortably accommodate all the gathered birds and not more—seemingly to prevent any future stragglers who didn't help set up the camp from coming in. One side of the marked area runs parallel to the water's edge and is left open for entering and exiting.

Having defined the limits of the rookery, the colony now begin to clear it of every species of rubbish, picking up stone by stone, and carrying them outside of the lines, and close by them, so as to form a wall on the three inland sides. Just within this wall a perfectly level and smooth walk is formed, from six to eight feet wide, and extending around the encampment—thus serving the purpose of a general promenade.

Having established the boundaries of the rookery, the colony now starts to clean it up by removing all kinds of debris, picking up stones one by one, and taking them outside the lines to create a wall on three sides. Just inside this wall, they create a perfectly flat and smooth path that is six to eight feet wide, running around the campsite—serving as a general walkway.

The next process is to partition out the whole area into small squares exactly equal in size. This is done by forming narrow paths, very smooth, and crossing each other at right angles throughout the entire extent of the rookery. At each intersection of these paths the nest of an albatross is constructed, and a penguin’s nest in the centre of each square—thus every penguin is surrounded by four albatrosses, and each albatross by a like number of penguins. The penguin’s nest consists of a hole in the earth, very shallow, being only just of sufficient depth to keep her single egg from rolling. The albatross is somewhat less simple in her arrangements, erecting a hillock about a foot high and two in diameter. This is made of earth, seaweed, and shells. On its summit she builds her nest.

The next step is to divide the entire area into small squares that are all the same size. This is done by creating narrow, smooth paths that intersect at right angles throughout the whole rookery. At each intersection of these paths, an albatross nest is built, and there’s a penguin’s nest in the center of each square—so every penguin is surrounded by four albatrosses, and each albatross is surrounded by the same number of penguins. The penguin’s nest is a shallow hole in the ground, just deep enough to prevent her single egg from rolling away. The albatross has a slightly more complex setup, creating a mound about a foot high and two feet wide. This mound is made from earth, seaweed, and shells, and she builds her nest on top of it.

The birds take especial care never to leave their nests unoccupied for an instant during the period of incubation, or, indeed, until the young progeny are sufficiently strong to take care of themselves. While the male is absent at sea in search of food, the female remains on duty, and it is only upon the return of her partner that she ventures abroad. The eggs are never left uncovered at all—while one bird leaves the nest the other nestling in by its side. This precaution is rendered necessary by the thieving propensities prevalent in the rookery, the inhabitants making no scruple to purloin each other’s eggs at every good opportunity.

The birds are very careful not to leave their nests empty for even a moment during incubation, or until their chicks are strong enough to fend for themselves. While the male goes out to sea to look for food, the female stays on the nest, only venturing out when her mate returns. The eggs are never left uncovered—when one bird leaves the nest, the other stays right next to it. This extra caution is necessary because theft is common in the rookery, with the residents readily stealing each other's eggs whenever they get the chance.

Although there are some rookeries in which the penguin and albatross are the sole population, yet in most of them a variety of oceanic birds are to be met with, enjoying all the privileges of citizenship, and scattering their nests here and there, wherever they can find room, never interfering, however, with the stations of the larger species. The appearance of such encampments, when seen from a distance, is exceedingly singular. The whole atmosphere just above the settlement is darkened with the immense number of the albatross (mingled with the smaller tribes) which are continually hovering over it, either going to the ocean or returning home. At the same time a crowd of penguins are to be observed, some passing to and fro in the narrow alleys, and some marching with the military strut so peculiar to them, around the general promenade ground which encircles the rookery. In short, survey it as we will, nothing can be more astonishing than the spirit of reflection evinced by these feathered beings, and nothing surely can be better calculated to elicit reflection in every well-regulated human intellect.

Although there are some places where penguins and albatrosses are the only residents, in most areas, you'll find a variety of ocean birds sharing the space, each enjoying their rights and nesting wherever they can, without disrupting the larger species' territories. From a distance, these bird colonies look very unusual. The entire sky above the settlement is darkened by the huge number of albatrosses (along with smaller birds) that are constantly flying overhead, either heading to the ocean or coming back home. At the same time, you can see groups of penguins, some moving back and forth in the narrow pathways, and others marching with their characteristic military swagger around the main area that surrounds the rookery. In short, no matter how you look at it, nothing is more fascinating than the reflective nature exhibited by these birds, and surely nothing else can inspire such contemplation in a well-balanced human mind.

On the morning after our arrival in Christmas Harbour the chief mate, Mr. Patterson, took the boats, and (although it was somewhat early in the season) went in search of seal, leaving the captain and a young relation of his on a point of barren land to the westward, they having some business, whose nature I could not ascertain, to transact in the interior of the island. Captain Guy took with him a bottle, in which was a sealed letter, and made his way from the point on which he was set on shore toward one of the highest peaks in the place. It is probable that his design was to leave the letter on that height for some vessel which he expected to come after him. As soon as we lost sight of him we proceeded (Peters and myself being in the mate’s boat) on our cruise around the coast, looking for seal. In this business we were occupied about three weeks, examining with great care every nook and corner, not only of Kerguelen’s Land, but of the several small islands in the vicinity. Our labours, however, were not crowned with any important success. We saw a great many fur seal, but they were exceedingly shy, and with the greatest exertions, we could only procure three hundred and fifty skins in all. Sea elephants were abundant, especially on the western coast of the mainland, but of these we killed only twenty, and this with great difficulty. On the smaller islands we discovered a good many of the hair seal, but did not molest them. We returned to the schooner on the eleventh, where we found Captain Guy and his nephew, who gave a very bad account of the interior, representing it as one of the most dreary and utterly barren countries in the world. They had remained two nights on the island, owing to some misunderstanding, on the part of the second mate, in regard to the sending a jollyboat from the schooner to take them off.

On the morning after we arrived in Christmas Harbour, the chief mate, Mr. Patterson, took the boats and, although it was a bit early in the season, went searching for seals. This left the captain and his young relative on a barren point of land to the west, as they had some business to take care of inland, the details of which I couldn’t find out. Captain Guy took a bottle containing a sealed letter and made his way from the point where he was dropped off to one of the highest peaks around. He likely intended to leave the letter there for a vessel he expected to come after him. Once we lost sight of him, we (Peters and I in the mate’s boat) continued our cruise along the coast looking for seals. We spent about three weeks at this, carefully exploring every nook and cranny not just of Kerguelen’s Land but also of the nearby smaller islands. However, our efforts didn’t lead to any major success. We spotted quite a few fur seals, but they were extremely elusive, and despite our best efforts, we only managed to collect a total of three hundred and fifty skins. Sea elephants were plentiful, especially along the western coast of the mainland, but we only managed to kill twenty after a lot of trouble. On the smaller islands, we found a good number of hair seals but chose not to disturb them. We returned to the schooner on the eleventh and found Captain Guy and his nephew, who reported that the interior was one of the most desolate and completely barren places in the world. They had spent two nights on the island due to a misunderstanding by the second mate regarding sending a jollyboat from the schooner to pick them up.

CHAPTER 15

On the twelfth we made sail from Christmas Harbour retracing our way to the westward, and leaving Marion’s Island, one of Crozet’s group, on the larboard. We afterward passed Prince Edward’s Island, leaving it also on our left, then, steering more to the northward, made, in fifteen days, the islands of Tristan d’Acunha, in latitude 37 degrees 8’ S, longitude 12 degrees 8’ W.

On the twelfth, we set sail from Christmas Harbour, heading back west and leaving Marion’s Island, part of the Crozet group, to our left. We then passed Prince Edward’s Island, also on our left, and after adjusting our course more northward, we reached the islands of Tristan d’Acunha in fifteen days, located at 37 degrees 8' S latitude and 12 degrees 8' W longitude.

This group, now so well known, and which consists of three circular islands, was first discovered by the Portuguese, and was visited afterward by the Dutch in 1643, and by the French in 1767. The three islands together form a triangle, and are distant from each other about ten miles, there being fine open passages between. The land in all of them is very high, especially in Tristan d’Acunha, properly so called. This is the largest of the group, being fifteen miles in circumference, and so elevated that it can be seen in clear weather at the distance of eighty or ninety miles. A part of the land toward the north rises more than a thousand feet perpendicularly from the sea. A tableland at this height extends back nearly to the centre of the island, and from this tableland arises a lofty cone like that of Teneriffe. The lower half of this cone is clothed with trees of good size, but the upper region is barren rock, usually hidden among the clouds, and covered with snow during the greater part of the year. There are no shoals or other dangers about the island, the shores being remarkably bold and the water deep. On the northwestern coast is a bay, with a beach of black sand where a landing with boats can be easily effected, provided there be a southerly wind. Plenty of excellent water may here be readily procured; also cod and other fish may be taken with hook and line.

This group, now well-known and consisting of three circular islands, was first discovered by the Portuguese. The Dutch visited them in 1643, followed by the French in 1767. The three islands together form a triangle and are about ten miles apart, with clear passages between them. The land on all of these islands is very high, especially on Tristan da Cunha, which is the largest of the group, measuring fifteen miles around and so elevated that it can be seen in clear weather from eighty or ninety miles away. A part of the land to the north rises more than a thousand feet straight up from the sea. A plateau at this height extends back almost to the center of the island, and from this plateau rises a tall cone, similar to Teneriffe. The lower half of this cone is covered with sizable trees, while the upper region is barren rock, often hidden among the clouds and covered with snow for most of the year. There are no shoals or other dangers around the island; the shores are remarkably steep and the water is deep. On the northwestern coast is a bay with a beach of black sand where boats can easily land, provided there’s a southerly wind. Plenty of excellent water is readily available here, and you can also catch cod and other fish with hook and line.

The next island in point of size, and the most westwardly of the group, is that called the Inaccessible. Its precise situation is 37 degrees 17’ S. latitude, longitude 12 degrees 24’ W. It is seven or eight miles in circumference, and on all sides presents a forbidding and precipitous aspect. Its top is perfectly flat, and the whole region is sterile, nothing growing upon it except a few stunted shrubs.

The next island, in terms of size and the farthest to the west in the group, is called the Inaccessible. It is located at 37 degrees 17’ S latitude, 12 degrees 24’ W longitude. It has a circumference of seven or eight miles and appears steep and uninviting from all sides. Its top is completely flat, and the entire area is barren, with only a few scraggly bushes growing on it.

Nightingale Island, the smallest and most southerly, is in latitude 37 degrees 26’ S., longitude 12 degrees 12’ W. Off its southern extremity is a high ledge of rocky islets; a few also of a similar appearance are seen to the northeast. The ground is irregular and sterile, and a deep valley partially separates it.

Nightingale Island, the smallest and southernmost, is located at latitude 37 degrees 26' S and longitude 12 degrees 12' W. Off its southern tip, there is a high ledge of rocky islets; a few others that look similar can be seen to the northeast. The terrain is uneven and barren, with a deep valley that partially divides it.

The shores of these islands abound, in the proper season, with sea lions, sea elephants, the hair and fur seal, together with a great variety of oceanic birds. Whales are also plenty in their vicinity. Owing to the ease with which these various animals were here formerly taken, the group has been much visited since its discovery. The Dutch and French frequented it at a very early period. In 1790, Captain Patten, of the ship Industry, of Philadelphia, made Tristan d’Acunha, where he remained seven months (from August, 1790, to April, 1791) for the purpose of collecting sealskins. In this time he gathered no less than five thousand six hundred, and says that he would have had no difficulty in loading a large ship with oil in three weeks. Upon his arrival he found no quadrupeds, with the exception of a few wild goats; the island now abounds with all our most valuable domestic animals, which have been introduced by subsequent navigators.

The shores of these islands are full, during the right season, of sea lions, sea elephants, fur seals, and a wide variety of ocean birds. Whales are also common nearby. Because it used to be easy to catch these different animals here, the group has seen a lot of visitors since it was discovered. The Dutch and French came here very early on. In 1790, Captain Patten, from the ship Industry based in Philadelphia, reached Tristan d’Acunha, where he stayed for seven months (from August 1790 to April 1791) to collect sealskins. During this time, he gathered a total of five thousand six hundred and mentioned that he could have easily filled a large ship with oil in just three weeks. When he arrived, he found no mammals except for a few wild goats; now the island is full of valuable domesticated animals that were brought by later sailors.

I believe it was not long after Captain Patten’s visit that Captain Colquhoun, of the American brig Betsey, touched at the largest of the islands for the purpose of refreshment. He planted onions, potatoes, cabbages, and a great many other vegetables, an abundance of all which is now to be met with.

I think it was shortly after Captain Patten's visit that Captain Colquhoun, from the American brig Betsey, stopped at the largest of the islands to restock. He planted onions, potatoes, cabbages, and a lot of other vegetables, and now you can find plenty of all of them.

In 1811, a Captain Haywood, in the Nereus, visited Tristan. He found there three Americans, who were residing upon the island to prepare sealskins and oil. One of these men was named Jonathan Lambert, and he called himself the sovereign of the country. He had cleared and cultivated about sixty acres of land, and turned his attention to raising the coffee-plant and sugar-cane, with which he had been furnished by the American Minister at Rio Janeiro. This settlement, however, was finally abandoned, and in 1817 the islands were taken possession of by the British Government, who sent a detachment for that purpose from the Cape of Good Hope. They did not, however, retain them long; but, upon the evacuation of the country as a British possession, two or three English families took up their residence there independently of the Government. On the twenty-fifth of March, 1824, the Berwick, Captain Jeffrey, from London to Van Diemen’s Land, arrived at the place, where they found an Englishman of the name of Glass, formerly a corporal in the British artillery. He claimed to be supreme governor of the islands, and had under his control twenty-one men and three women. He gave a very favourable account of the salubrity of the climate and of the productiveness of the soil. The population occupied themselves chiefly in collecting sealskins and sea elephant oil, with which they traded to the Cape of Good Hope, Glass owning a small schooner. At the period of our arrival the governor was still a resident, but his little community had multiplied, there being fifty-six persons upon Tristan, besides a smaller settlement of seven on Nightingale Island. We had no difficulty in procuring almost every kind of refreshment which we required—sheep, hogs, bullocks, rabbits, poultry, goats, fish in great variety, and vegetables were abundant. Having come to anchor close in with the large island, in eighteen fathoms, we took all we wanted on board very conveniently. Captain Guy also purchased of Glass five hundred sealskins and some ivory. We remained here a week, during which the prevailing winds were from the northward and westward, and the weather somewhat hazy. On the fifth of November we made sail to the southward and westward, with the intention of having a thorough search for a group of islands called the Auroras, respecting whose existence a great diversity of opinion has existed.

In 1811, Captain Haywood, aboard the Nereus, visited Tristan. He found three Americans living on the island to prepare sealskins and oil. One of these men, Jonathan Lambert, declared himself the ruler of the land. He had cleared and cultivated about sixty acres and focused on growing coffee and sugar cane, provided by the American Minister in Rio de Janeiro. However, this settlement was eventually abandoned, and in 1817 the British Government took possession of the islands, sending a detachment from the Cape of Good Hope. They didn’t keep them long, and when the country was evacuated as a British possession, a couple of English families settled there independently of the Government. On March 25, 1824, the Berwick, captained by Jeffrey, arriving from London to Van Diemen’s Land, found an Englishman named Glass, a former corporal in the British artillery. He claimed to be the supreme governor of the islands and had twenty-one men and three women under his command. He spoke highly of the healthy climate and fertile soil. The population mainly collected sealskins and sea elephant oil, trading them to the Cape of Good Hope, with Glass owning a small schooner. At the time of our arrival, the governor was still living there, and his small community had grown to fifty-six people on Tristan, along with a smaller settlement of seven on Nightingale Island. We had no trouble finding almost everything we needed—sheep, pigs, cattle, rabbits, poultry, goats, a variety of fish, and plenty of vegetables. We anchored close to the large island in eighteen fathoms and loaded everything we needed onto the ship quite easily. Captain Guy also bought five hundred sealskins and some ivory from Glass. We stayed here for a week, during which the winds mainly came from the north and west, and the weather was somewhat hazy. On November 5, we set sail south and west, intending to thoroughly search for a group of islands called the Auroras, whose existence has been the subject of much debate.

These islands are said to have been discovered as early as 1762, by the commander of the ship Aurora. In 1790, Captain Manuel de Oyarvido, in the ship Princess, belonging to the Royal Philippine Company, sailed, as he asserts, directly among them. In 1794, the Spanish corvette Atrevida went with the determination of ascertaining their precise situation, and, in a paper published by the Royal Hydrographical Society of Madrid in the year 1809, the following language is used respecting this expedition: “The corvette Atrevida practised, in their immediate vicinity, from the twenty-first to the twenty-seventh of January, all the necessary observations, and measured by chronometers the difference of longitude between these islands and the port of Soledad in the Manillas. The islands are three, they are very nearly in the same meridian; the centre one is rather low, and the other two may be seen at nine leagues’ distance.” The observations made on board the Atrevida give the following results as the precise situation of each island. The most northern is in latitude 52 degrees 37’ 24” S., longitude 47 degrees, 43’ 15” W.; the middle one in latitude 53 degrees 2’ 40” S., longitude 47 degrees 55’ 15” W.; and the most southern in latitude 53 degrees 15’ 22” S., longitude 47 degrees 57’ 15” W.

These islands are believed to have been discovered as early as 1762 by the commander of the ship Aurora. In 1790, Captain Manuel de Oyarvido, aboard the ship Princess, which belonged to the Royal Philippine Company, claimed he sailed directly among them. In 1794, the Spanish corvette Atrevida set out to determine their exact location, and a paper published by the Royal Hydrographical Society of Madrid in 1809 described this expedition: “The corvette Atrevida conducted all necessary observations in their immediate vicinity from January 21 to January 27, and measured the difference in longitude between these islands and the port of Soledad in Manila using chronometers. There are three islands, all very nearly aligned in the same meridian; the center one is relatively low, while the other two can be seen from nine leagues away.” The observations made on board the Atrevida resulted in the following precise locations for each island. The northernmost island is at latitude 52 degrees 37’ 24” S, longitude 47 degrees 43’ 15” W; the middle one is at latitude 53 degrees 2’ 40” S, longitude 47 degrees 55’ 15” W; and the southernmost island is at latitude 53 degrees 15’ 22” S, longitude 47 degrees 57’ 15” W.

On the twenty-seventh of January, 1820, Captain James Weddel, of the British navy, sailed from Staten Land also in search of the Auroras. He reports that, having made the most diligent search and passed not only immediately over the spots indicated by the commander of the Atrevida, but in every direction throughout the vicinity of these spots, he could discover no indication of land. These conflicting statements have induced other navigators to look out for the islands; and, strange to say, while some have sailed through every inch of sea where they are supposed to lie without finding them, there have been not a few who declare positively that they have seen them; and even been close in with their shores. It was Captain Guy’s intention to make every exertion within his power to settle the question so oddly in dispute. {*3}

On January 27, 1820, Captain James Weddell of the British Navy set sail from Staten Land in search of the Auroras. He reported that after a thorough search, he passed directly over the areas indicated by the commander of the Atrevida and explored every direction around those spots, but he found no signs of land. These conflicting reports have prompted other sailors to look for the islands. Interestingly, while some have searched every inch of water where the islands are believed to be without success, there are others who confidently claim they have seen them and even approached their shores. Captain Guy intended to make every effort possible to resolve this strangely disputed question. {*3}

We kept on our course, between the south and west, with variable weather, until the twentieth of the month, when we found ourselves on the debated ground, being in latitude 53 degrees 15’ S., longitude 47 degrees 58’ W.—that is to say, very nearly upon the spot indicated as the situation of the most southern of the group. Not perceiving any sign of land, we continued to the westward of the parallel of fifty-three degrees south, as far as the meridian of fifty degrees west. We then stood to the north as far as the parallel of fifty-two degrees south, when we turned to the eastward, and kept our parallel by double altitudes, morning and evening, and meridian altitudes of the planets and moon. Having thus gone eastwardly to the meridian of the western coast of Georgia, we kept that meridian until we were in the latitude from which we set out. We then took diagonal courses throughout the entire extent of sea circumscribed, keeping a lookout constantly at the masthead, and repeating our examination with the greatest care for a period of three weeks, during which the weather was remarkably pleasant and fair, with no haze whatsoever. Of course we were thoroughly satisfied that, whatever islands might have existed in this vicinity at any former period, no vestige of them remained at the present day. Since my return home I find that the same ground was traced over, with equal care, in 1822, by Captain Johnson, of the American schooner Henry, and by Captain Morrell in the American schooner Wasp—in both cases with the same result as in our own.

We kept heading southwest, dealing with changing weather, until the twentieth of the month, when we found ourselves in disputed territory at latitude 53 degrees 15’ S, longitude 47 degrees 58’ W—very close to the spot marked as the southernmost location of the group. Not seeing any signs of land, we continued west of the 53 degrees south parallel, all the way to the 50 degrees west meridian. We then headed north to the 52 degrees south parallel before turning east, maintaining our position by taking double altitudes in the morning and evening, as well as the meridian altitudes of the planets and moon. After traveling east to the meridian of the western coast of Georgia, we followed that meridian until we reached the latitude where we originally set out. We took diagonal courses across the entire area, keeping a constant lookout from the masthead, and carefully repeating our observations for three weeks, during which the weather was notably pleasant and clear, with no haze at all. Naturally, we were confident that any islands that might have existed in this area in the past had left no trace at present. Since returning home, I've discovered that the same area was thoroughly surveyed in 1822 by Captain Johnson of the American schooner Henry and by Captain Morrell of the American schooner Wasp, both of which yielded the same results as ours.

CHAPTER 16

It had been Captain Guy’s original intention, after satisfying himself about the Auroras, to proceed through the Strait of Magellan, and up along the western coast of Patagonia; but information received at Tristan d’Acunha induced him to steer to the southward, in the hope of falling in with some small islands said to lie about the parallel of 60 degrees S., longitude 41 degrees 20’ W. In the event of his not discovering these lands, he designed, should the season prove favourable, to push on toward the pole. Accordingly, on the twelfth of December, we made sail in that direction. On the eighteenth we found ourselves about the station indicated by Glass, and cruised for three days in that neighborhood without finding any traces of the islands he had mentioned. On the twenty-first, the weather being unusually pleasant, we again made sail to the southward, with the resolution of penetrating in that course as far as possible. Before entering upon this portion of my narrative, it may be as well, for the information of those readers who have paid little attention to the progress of discovery in these regions, to give some brief account of the very few attempts at reaching the southern pole which have hitherto been made.

It was Captain Guy's original plan, after confirming the situation with the Auroras, to go through the Strait of Magellan and up the western coast of Patagonia. However, information he received at Tristan d’Acunha led him to head south, hoping to find some small islands that were reported to be around 60 degrees South latitude and 41 degrees 20' West longitude. If he didn’t locate these islands, he intended to push toward the pole, if the season allowed for it. So, on December 12th, we set sail in that direction. By the 18th, we found ourselves near the location indicated by Glass and searched the area for three days, but we didn’t find any signs of the islands he mentioned. On the 21st, with unusually nice weather, we set sail south again, determined to go as far in that direction as we could. Before I continue with this part of my story, it might be useful for readers who haven’t followed the exploration efforts in this area closely to provide a brief overview of the few attempts that have been made to reach the southern pole.

That of Captain Cook was the first of which we have any distinct account. In 1772 he sailed to the south in the Resolution, accompanied by Lieutenant Furneaux in the Adventure. In December he found himself as far as the fifty-eighth parallel of south latitude, and in longitude 26 degrees 57’ E. Here he met with narrow fields of ice, about eight or ten inches thick, and running northwest and southeast. This ice was in large cakes, and usually it was packed so closely that the vessel had great difficulty in forcing a passage. At this period Captain Cook supposed, from the vast number of birds to be seen, and from other indications, that he was in the near vicinity of land. He kept on to the southward, the weather being exceedingly cold, until he reached the sixty-fourth parallel, in longitude 38 degrees 14’ E. Here he had mild weather, with gentle breezes, for five days, the thermometer being at thirty-six. In January, 1773, the vessels crossed the Antarctic circle, but did not succeed in penetrating much farther; for upon reaching latitude 67 degrees 15’ they found all farther progress impeded by an immense body of ice, extending all along the southern horizon as far as the eye could reach. This ice was of every variety—and some large floes of it, miles in extent, formed a compact mass, rising eighteen or twenty feet above the water. It being late in the season, and no hope entertained of rounding these obstructions, Captain Cook now reluctantly turned to the northward.

Captain Cook's voyage is the first one we have a clear record of. In 1772, he set sail south in the Resolution, accompanied by Lieutenant Furneaux in the Adventure. By December, he had reached the fifty-eighth parallel of south latitude, at longitude 26 degrees 57’ E. Here, he encountered narrow fields of ice about eight to ten inches thick, running northwest and southeast. The ice was in large sheets and was packed so tightly that the ship had a tough time breaking through. At this point, Captain Cook believed he was close to land due to the large number of birds observed and other signs. He continued southward in extremely cold weather, until reaching the sixty-fourth parallel at longitude 38 degrees 14’ E. During this time, he enjoyed mild weather with gentle breezes for five days, with the thermometer at thirty-six. In January 1773, the vessels crossed the Antarctic Circle, but they didn’t get much farther. Upon reaching latitude 67 degrees 15’, they found an immense ice barrier blocking any further progress, stretching along the southern horizon as far as the eye could see. This ice came in various forms, and some large floes extended for miles, forming a solid mass rising eighteen to twenty feet above the water. It was late in the season, and with no hope of navigating around these obstacles, Captain Cook reluctantly turned back to the north.

In the November following he renewed his search in the Antarctic. In latitude 59 degrees 40’ he met with a strong current setting to the southward. In December, when the vessels were in latitude 67 degrees 31’, longitude 142 degrees 54’ W., the cold was excessive, with heavy gales and fog. Here also birds were abundant; the albatross, the penguin, and the peterel especially. In latitude 70 degrees 23’ some large islands of ice were encountered, and shortly afterward the clouds to the southward were observed to be of a snowy whiteness, indicating the vicinity of field ice. In latitude 71 degrees 10’, longitude 106 degrees 54’ W., the navigators were stopped, as before, by an immense frozen expanse, which filled the whole area of the southern horizon. The northern edge of this expanse was ragged and broken, so firmly wedged together as to be utterly impassible, and extending about a mile to the southward. Behind it the frozen surface was comparatively smooth for some distance, until terminated in the extreme background by gigantic ranges of ice mountains, the one towering above the other. Captain Cook concluded that this vast field reached the southern pole or was joined to a continent. Mr. J. N. Reynolds, whose great exertions and perseverance have at length succeeded in getting set on foot a national expedition, partly for the purpose of exploring these regions, thus speaks of the attempt of the Resolution. “We are not surprised that Captain Cook was unable to go beyond 71 degrees 10’, but we are astonished that he did attain that point on the meridian of 106 degrees 54’ west longitude. Palmer’s Land lies south of the Shetland, latitude sixty-four degrees, and tends to the southward and westward farther than any navigator has yet penetrated. Cook was standing for this land when his progress was arrested by the ice; which, we apprehend, must always be the case in that point, and so early in the season as the sixth of January—and we should not be surprised if a portion of the icy mountains described was attached to the main body of Palmer’s Land, or to some other portions of land lying farther to the southward and westward.”

In the following November, he resumed his search in the Antarctic. At latitude 59 degrees 40’, he encountered a strong current heading south. In December, when the ships were at latitude 67 degrees 31’, longitude 142 degrees 54’ W., the cold was extreme, with heavy winds and fog. There were also plenty of birds, especially albatrosses, penguins, and petrels. At latitude 70 degrees 23’, they came across some large ice islands, and soon after, the clouds to the south were noted to be a snowy white, signaling the presence of ice fields. At latitude 71 degrees 10’, longitude 106 degrees 54’ W., the explorers were halted once again by a vast frozen expanse, which stretched across the entire southern horizon. The northern edge of this area was jagged and broken, tightly packed together and completely impassable, extending about a mile southward. Behind it, the icy surface was relatively smooth for a distance until it was terminated in the background by massive ranges of ice mountains, each towering over the other. Captain Cook concluded that this immense ice field stretched to the southern pole or was connected to a continent. Mr. J. N. Reynolds, whose significant efforts and perseverance ultimately led to the establishment of a national expedition partly aimed at exploring these areas, commented on the Resolution's attempt: “We are not surprised that Captain Cook couldn't go beyond 71 degrees 10’, but we are amazed that he reached that point at the meridian of 106 degrees 54’ west longitude. Palmer’s Land lies south of the Shetlands at latitude sixty-four degrees and extends further south and west than any navigator has previously ventured. Cook was heading towards this land when his progress was halted by the ice, which we believe will always be the case at this location, especially so early in the season on January 6—and we wouldn’t be surprised if some of the icy mountains described were connected to the main part of Palmer’s Land or to other land masses lying even farther south and west.”

In 1803, Captains Kreutzenstern and Lisiausky were dispatched by Alexander of Russia for the purpose of circumnavigating the globe. In endeavouring to get south, they made no farther than 59 degrees 58’, in longitude 70 degrees 15’ W. They here met with strong currents setting eastwardly. Whales were abundant, but they saw no ice. In regard to this voyage, Mr. Reynolds observes that, if Kreutzenstern had arrived where he did earlier in the season, he must have encountered ice—it was March when he reached the latitude specified. The winds, prevailing, as they do, from the southward and westward, had carried the floes, aided by currents, into that icy region bounded on the north by Georgia, east by Sandwich Land and the South Orkneys, and west by the South Shetland islands.

In 1803, Captains Kreutzenstern and Lisiausky were sent by Alexander of Russia to circumnavigate the globe. They tried to head south but only got as far as 59 degrees 58’ latitude, 70 degrees 15’ W longitude. Here, they encountered strong currents pushing eastward. Whales were plentiful, but they saw no ice. Regarding this voyage, Mr. Reynolds notes that if Kreutzenstern had arrived at that location earlier in the season, he would have encountered ice—he reached the specified latitude in March. The winds, which typically blow from the south and west, had pushed the ice floes, aided by currents, into that icy area bordered to the north by Georgia, to the east by Sandwich Land and the South Orkneys, and to the west by the South Shetland Islands.

In 1822, Captain James Weddell, of the British navy, with two very small vessels, penetrated farther to the south than any previous navigator, and this, too, without encountering extraordinary difficulties. He states that although he was frequently hemmed in by ice before reaching the seventy-second parallel, yet, upon attaining it, not a particle was to be discovered, and that, upon arriving at the latitude of 74 degrees 15’, no fields, and only three islands of ice were visible. It is somewhat remarkable that, although vast flocks of birds were seen, and other usual indications of land, and although, south of the Shetlands, unknown coasts were observed from the masthead tending southwardly, Weddell discourages the idea of land existing in the polar regions of the south.

In 1822, Captain James Weddell of the British navy, with two small ships, traveled farther south than any navigator before him, and he did this without facing significant difficulties. He noted that while he was often surrounded by ice before reaching the seventy-second parallel, once he got there, there was not a single piece of ice in sight. Upon reaching the latitude of 74 degrees 15’, he saw no ice fields, only three small ice islands. It’s interesting that, even though large flocks of birds were observed and other typical signs of land were present, and although unknown coastlines were spotted south of the Shetlands from the masthead heading south, Weddell dismissed the idea of land existing in the southern polar regions.

On the 11th of January, 1823, Captain Benjamin Morrell, of the American schooner Wasp, sailed from Kerguelen’s Land with a view of penetrating as far south as possible. On the first of February he found himself in latitude 64 degrees 52’ S., longitude 118 degrees 27’ E. The following passage is extracted from his journal of that date. “The wind soon freshened to an eleven-knot breeze, and we embraced this opportunity of making to the west; being however convinced that the farther we went south beyond latitude sixty-four degrees, the less ice was to be apprehended, we steered a little to the southward, until we crossed the Antarctic circle, and were in latitude 69 degrees 15’ E. In this latitude there was no field ice, and very few ice islands in sight.”

On January 11, 1823, Captain Benjamin Morrell of the American schooner Wasp set sail from Kerguelen’s Land, aiming to go as far south as possible. By February 1, he found himself at a latitude of 64 degrees 52’ S and a longitude of 118 degrees 27’ E. The following excerpt is from his journal from that day: “The wind soon picked up to an eleven-knot breeze, and we took this chance to head west. Believing that the farther south we went beyond latitude sixty-four degrees, the less ice we would encounter, we steered slightly south until we crossed the Antarctic Circle, reaching a latitude of 69 degrees 15’ E. At this latitude, there was no pack ice, and very few ice islands were visible.”

Under the date of March fourteenth I find also this entry. “The sea was now entirely free of field ice, and there were not more than a dozen ice islands in sight. At the same time the temperature of the air and water was at least thirteen degrees higher (more mild) than we had ever found it between the parallels of sixty and sixty-two south. We were now in latitude 70 degrees 14’ S., and the temperature of the air was forty-seven, and that of the water forty-four. In this situation I found the variation to be 14 degrees 27’ easterly, per azimuth.... I have several times passed within the Antarctic circle, on different meridians, and have uniformly found the temperature, both of the air and the water, to become more and more mild the farther I advanced beyond the sixty-fifth degree of south latitude, and that the variation decreases in the same proportion. While north of this latitude, say between sixty and sixty-five south, we frequently had great difficulty in finding a passage for the vessel between the immense and almost innumerable ice islands, some of which were from one to two miles in circumference, and more than five hundred feet above the surface of the water.”

On March 14th, I noted this entry: “The sea was completely free of ice, and there were only about a dozen ice islands visible. At the same time, the air and water temperatures were at least thirteen degrees warmer than we had ever experienced between the parallels of sixty and sixty-two south. We were now at latitude 70 degrees 14’ S, with the air temperature at forty-seven and the water temperature at forty-four. In this situation, I found the magnetic variation to be 14 degrees 27’ east, according to the azimuth.... I have passed through the Antarctic Circle several times on different longitudes and consistently observed that the temperatures of both the air and water get milder as I moved further south beyond the sixty-fifth degree of latitude, and that the magnetic variation decreases accordingly. While north of this latitude, specifically between sixty and sixty-five south, we often struggled to navigate the ship through the vast and almost countless ice islands, some measuring one to two miles in circumference and rising more than five hundred feet above the water surface.”

Being nearly destitute of fuel and water, and without proper instruments, it being also late in the season, Captain Morrell was now obliged to put back, without attempting any further progress to the westward, although an entirely open, sea lay before him. He expresses the opinion that, had not these overruling considerations obliged him to retreat, he could have penetrated, if not to the pole itself, at least to the eighty-fifth parallel. I have given his ideas respecting these matters somewhat at length, that the reader may have an opportunity of seeing how far they were borne out by my own subsequent experience.

Being almost out of fuel and water, and lacking the proper tools, and with the season getting late, Captain Morrell had to turn back, even though an entirely open sea was in front of him. He believes that if these pressing issues hadn’t forced him to retreat, he could have made it, if not to the pole itself, then at least to the eighty-fifth parallel. I’ve shared his thoughts on these matters in some detail so that the reader can see how much they matched my own later experiences.

In 1831, Captain Briscoe, in the employ of the Messieurs Enderby, whale-ship owners of London, sailed in the brig Lively for the South Seas, accompanied by the cutter Tula. On the twenty-eighth of February, being in latitude 66 degrees 30’ S., longitude 47 degrees 31’ E., he descried land, and “clearly discovered through the snow the black peaks of a range of mountains running E. S. E.” He remained in this neighbourhood during the whole of the following month, but was unable to approach the coast nearer than within ten leagues, owing to the boisterous state of the weather. Finding it impossible to make further discovery during this season, he returned northward to winter in Van Diemen’s Land.

In 1831, Captain Briscoe, working for the Messieurs Enderby, whale-ship owners from London, set sail on the brig Lively to the South Seas, along with the cutter Tula. On February 28, while at latitude 66 degrees 30’ S and longitude 47 degrees 31’ E, he spotted land and “clearly saw through the snow the dark peaks of a mountain range stretching E.S.E.” He stayed in the area for the entire month that followed but couldn't get closer to the coast than ten leagues because of the rough weather. Realizing he couldn’t make any more discoveries that season, he headed north to spend the winter in Van Diemen’s Land.

In the beginning of 1832 he again proceeded southwardly, and on the fourth of February land was seen to the southeast in latitude 67 degrees 15’ longitude 69 degrees 29’ W. This was soon found to be an island near the headland of the country he had first discovered. On the twenty-first of the month he succeeded in landing on the latter, and took possession of it in the name of William IV, calling it Adelaide’s Island, in honour of the English queen. These particulars being made known to the Royal Geographical Society of London, the conclusion was drawn by that body “that there is a continuous tract of land extending from 47 degrees 30’ E. to 69 degrees 29’ W. longitude, running the parallel of from sixty-six to sixty-seven degrees south latitude.” In respect to this conclusion Mr. Reynolds observes: “In the correctness of it we by no means concur; nor do the discoveries of Briscoe warrant any such indifference. It was within these limits that Weddel proceeded south on a meridian to the east of Georgia, Sandwich Land, and the South Orkney and Shetland islands.” My own experience will be found to testify most directly to the falsity of the conclusion arrived at by the society.

At the beginning of 1832, he headed south again, and on February 4th, land was spotted to the southeast at latitude 67 degrees 15' and longitude 69 degrees 29' W. This was quickly identified as an island near the headland of the region he had first discovered. On the 21st of the month, he successfully landed there and claimed it in the name of William IV, naming it Adelaide’s Island in honor of the English queen. Once this information was reported to the Royal Geographical Society of London, they concluded, "that there is a continuous tract of land extending from 47 degrees 30' E. to 69 degrees 29' W. longitude, running parallel from sixty-six to sixty-seven degrees south latitude." In response to this conclusion, Mr. Reynolds notes: "We do not agree with it at all; nor do Briscoe's discoveries support such a careless assumption. It was within these boundaries that Weddel traveled south along a meridian east of Georgia, Sandwich Land, and the South Orkney and Shetland islands." My own experience strongly contradicts the conclusion reached by the society.

These are the principal attempts which have been made at penetrating to a high southern latitude, and it will now be seen that there remained, previous to the voyage of the Jane, nearly three hundred degrees of longitude in which the Antarctic circle had not been crossed at all. Of course a wide field lay before us for discovery, and it was with feelings of most intense interest that I heard Captain Guy express his resolution of pushing boldly to the southward.

These are the main efforts that have been made to reach a high southern latitude, and it will now be clear that before the voyage of the Jane, nearly three hundred degrees of longitude had not yet crossed the Antarctic circle at all. Of course, there was a vast area awaiting discovery, and I felt a deep sense of excitement when I heard Captain Guy declare his determination to boldly head south.

CHAPTER 17

We kept our course southwardly for four days after giving up the search for Glass’s islands, without meeting with any ice at all. On the twenty-sixth, at noon, we were in latitude 63 degrees 23’ S., longitude 41 degrees 25’ W. We now saw several large ice islands, and a floe of field ice, not, however, of any great extent. The winds generally blew from the southeast, or the northeast, but were very light. Whenever we had a westerly wind, which was seldom, it was invariably attended with a rain squall. Every day we had more or less snow. The thermometer, on the twenty-seventh stood at thirty-five.

We continued heading south for four days after giving up the search for Glass's islands, without encountering any ice at all. On the twenty-sixth, at noon, we were at latitude 63 degrees 23' S, longitude 41 degrees 25' W. We now saw several large ice islands and a sheet of field ice, although it wasn't very extensive. The winds mostly came from the southeast or northeast, but they were quite light. Whenever we did have a westerly wind, which was rare, it was always accompanied by a rain squall. Every day, we experienced some snow. The thermometer on the twenty-seventh read thirty-five.

January 1, 1828.—This day we found ourselves completely hemmed in by the ice, and our prospects looked cheerless indeed. A strong gale blew, during the whole forenoon, from the northeast, and drove large cakes of the drift against the rudder and counter with such violence that we all trembled for the consequences. Toward evening, the gale still blowing with fury, a large field in front separated, and we were enabled, by carrying a press of sail to force a passage through the smaller flakes into some open water beyond. As we approached this space we took in sail by degrees, and having at length got clear, lay-to under a single reefed foresail.

January 1, 1828.—Today, we found ourselves completely surrounded by ice, and our outlook was quite grim. A strong wind blew from the northeast all morning, pushing large chunks of ice against the rudder and the rear with such force that we all feared what might happen. By evening, with the wind still howling, a large section of ice up ahead broke apart, allowing us to use a full sail to navigate through the smaller pieces into some open water beyond. As we got closer to this area, we gradually reduced our sails, and once we were finally clear, we stayed put under a single reefed foresail.

January 2.—We had now tolerably pleasant weather. At noon we found ourselves in latitude 69 degrees 10’ S, longitude 42 degrees 20’ W, having crossed the Antarctic circle. Very little ice was to be seen to the southward, although large fields of it lay behind us. This day we rigged some sounding gear, using a large iron pot capable of holding twenty gallons, and a line of two hundred fathoms. We found the current setting to the north, about a quarter of a mile per hour. The temperature of the air was now about thirty-three. Here we found the variation to be 14 degrees 28’ easterly, per azimuth.

January 2.—The weather was pretty nice today. At noon, we were at latitude 69 degrees 10’ S, longitude 42 degrees 20’ W, having crossed the Antarctic Circle. There wasn't much ice to see to the south, although there were large fields of it behind us. Today, we set up some sounding gear, using a large iron pot that held twenty gallons and a line of two hundred fathoms. We discovered the current was moving north at about a quarter of a mile per hour. The air temperature was around thirty-three degrees. Here, we found the variation to be 14 degrees 28’ easterly, per azimuth.

January 5.—We had still held on to the southward without any very great impediments. On this morning, however, being in latitude 73 degrees 15’ E., longitude 42 degrees 10’ W, we were again brought to a stand by an immense expanse of firm ice. We saw, nevertheless, much open water to the southward, and felt no doubt of being able to reach it eventually. Standing to the eastward along the edge of the floe, we at length came to a passage of about a mile in width, through which we warped our way by sundown. The sea in which we now were was thickly covered with ice islands, but had no field ice, and we pushed on boldly as before. The cold did not seem to increase, although we had snow very frequently, and now and then hail squalls of great violence. Immense flocks of the albatross flew over the schooner this day, going from southeast to northwest.

January 5.—We had managed to continue south without too many obstacles. However, this morning, at latitude 73 degrees 15’ E. and longitude 42 degrees 10’ W, we were stopped again by a massive stretch of solid ice. We did see quite a bit of open water to the south and felt confident we could reach it eventually. As we moved eastward along the edge of the ice floe, we finally found a passage about a mile wide, which we navigated through by sunset. The sea we were in was heavily covered with ice islands but had no field ice, so we pressed on confidently as before. The cold didn’t seem to get worse, even though we often had snow and occasional violent hail squalls. Huge flocks of albatross flew over the schooner today, traveling from southeast to northwest.

January 7.—The sea still remained pretty well open, so that we had no difficulty in holding on our course. To the westward we saw some icebergs of incredible size, and in the afternoon passed very near one whose summit could not have been less than four hundred fathoms from the surface of the ocean. Its girth was probably, at the base, three-quarters of a league, and several streams of water were running from crevices in its sides. We remained in sight of this island two days, and then only lost it in a fog.

January 7.—The sea was still mostly clear, so we had no trouble staying on our course. To the west, we saw some massive icebergs, and in the afternoon, we passed very close to one that was at least four hundred fathoms high from the ocean's surface. Its base was probably about three-quarters of a league around, and several streams of water were flowing from cracks in its sides. We kept sight of this iceberg for two days and only lost it in a fog.

January 10.—Early this morning we had the misfortune to lose a man overboard. He was an American named Peter Vredenburgh, a native of New York, and was one of the most valuable hands on board the schooner. In going over the bows his foot slipped, and he fell between two cakes of ice, never rising again. At noon of this day we were in latitude 78 degrees 30’, longitude 40 degrees 15’ W. The cold was now excessive, and we had hail squalls continually from the northward and eastward. In this direction also we saw several more immense icebergs, and the whole horizon to the eastward appeared to be blocked up with field ice, rising in tiers, one mass above the other. Some driftwood floated by during the evening, and a great quantity of birds flew over, among which were nellies, peterels, albatrosses, and a large bird of a brilliant blue plumage. The variation here, per azimuth, was less than it had been previously to our passing the Antarctic circle.

January 10.—Early this morning, we unfortunately lost a man overboard. His name was Peter Vredenburgh, an American from New York, and he was one of the most valuable crew members on the schooner. As he went over the bows, his foot slipped, and he fell between two chunks of ice, never surfacing again. By noon today, we were at latitude 78 degrees 30', longitude 40 degrees 15' W. The cold was now intense, and we were experiencing hail squalls constantly coming from the north and east. In that direction, we also spotted several more massive icebergs, and the entire horizon to the east was filled with field ice, rising in layers, one atop the other. Some driftwood floated by in the evening, and a significant number of birds passed overhead, including petrels, albatrosses, and a large bird with brilliant blue feathers. The magnetic variation here, as measured by azimuth, was less than it had been before we crossed the Antarctic Circle.

January 12.—Our passage to the south again looked doubtful, as nothing was to be seen in the direction of the pole but one apparently limitless floe, backed by absolute mountains of ragged ice, one precipice of which arose frowningly above the other. We stood to the westward until the fourteenth, in the hope of finding an entrance.

January 12.—Our journey south seemed uncertain again, as all we could see toward the pole was an endless ice floe, backed by towering mountains of jagged ice, with one cliff rising ominously above the others. We continued westward until the fourteenth, hoping to find a way in.

January 14.—This morning we reached the western extremity of the field which had impeded us, and, weathering it, came to an open sea, without a particle of ice. Upon sounding with two hundred fathoms, we here found a current setting southwardly at the rate of half a mile per hour. The temperature of the air was forty-seven, that of the water thirty-four. We now sailed to the southward without meeting any interruption of moment until the sixteenth, when, at noon, we were in latitude 81 degrees 21’, longitude 42 degrees W. We here again sounded, and found a current setting still southwardly, and at the rate of three quarters of a mile per hour. The variation per azimuth had diminished, and the temperature of the air was mild and pleasant, the thermometer being as high as fifty-one. At this period not a particle of ice was to be discovered. All hands on board now felt certain of attaining the pole.

January 14.—This morning we reached the far west end of the field that had been blocking us, and after navigating through it, we arrived at open sea with no ice at all. When we measured the depth with two hundred fathoms, we found a current flowing southward at about half a mile per hour. The air temperature was forty-seven degrees, while the water temperature was thirty-four. We sailed southward without any significant interruptions until the sixteenth, when, at noon, we were at latitude 81 degrees 21’, longitude 42 degrees W. Once again, we measured the depth and found a current still moving southward, this time at three quarters of a mile per hour. The variation per azimuth had decreased, and the air temperature was mild and pleasant, with the thermometer reaching fifty-one degrees. At this time, there was no ice to be seen. Everyone on board now felt confident that we would reach the pole.

January 17.—This day was full of incident. Innumerable flights of birds flew over us from the southward, and several were shot from the deck, one of them, a species of pelican, proved to be excellent eating. About midday a small floe of ice was seen from the masthead off the larboard bow, and upon it there appeared to be some large animal. As the weather was good and nearly calm, Captain Guy ordered out two of the boats to see what it was. Dirk Peters and myself accompanied the mate in the larger boat. Upon coming up with the floe, we perceived that it was in the possession of a gigantic creature of the race of the Arctic bear, but far exceeding in size the largest of these animals. Being well armed, we made no scruple of attacking it at once. Several shots were fired in quick succession, the most of which took effect, apparently, in the head and body. Nothing discouraged, however, the monster threw himself from the ice, and swam with open jaws, to the boat in which were Peters and myself. Owing to the confusion which ensued among us at this unexpected turn of the adventure, no person was ready immediately with a second shot, and the bear had actually succeeded in getting half his vast bulk across our gunwale, and seizing one of the men by the small of his back, before any efficient means were taken to repel him. In this extremity nothing but the promptness and agility of Peters saved us from destruction. Leaping upon the back of the huge beast, he plunged the blade of a knife behind the neck, reaching the spinal marrow at a blow. The brute tumbled into the sea lifeless, and without a struggle, rolling over Peters as he fell. The latter soon recovered himself, and a rope being thrown him, he secured the carcass before entering the boat. We then returned in triumph to the schooner, towing our trophy behind us. This bear, upon admeasurement, proved to be full fifteen feet in his greatest length. His wool was perfectly white, and very coarse, curling tightly. The eyes were of a blood red, and larger than those of the Arctic bear, the snout also more rounded, rather resembling the snout of the bulldog. The meat was tender, but excessively rank and fishy, although the men devoured it with avidity, and declared it excellent eating.

January 17.—Today was packed with action. Countless flocks of birds flew over us from the south, and several were shot from the deck; one of them, a type of pelican, turned out to be delicious. Around midday, we spotted a small iceberg from the masthead off the left side, on which there seemed to be some large creature. Since the weather was good and nearly calm, Captain Guy ordered two boats to check it out. Dirk Peters and I joined the mate in the larger boat. When we reached the iceberg, we realized it was occupied by a gigantic creature resembling an Arctic bear, but much larger than any we'd seen. Well armed, we didn't hesitate to attack it right away. Several shots were fired quickly, most hitting the beast in the head and body. However, the creature, undeterred, leaped off the ice and swam with its jaws open toward the boat where Peters and I were. In the chaos that followed this unexpected turn, no one was ready with a second shot, and the bear nearly managed to get half of its massive body over our side, grabbing one of the men by the lower back before we could effectively push it away. In this dire situation, it was only the quick thinking and agility of Peters that saved us from disaster. He jumped onto the back of the huge animal and drove the blade of his knife behind its neck, hitting the spinal cord with a single blow. The beast dropped lifelessly into the sea without a struggle, rolling over Peters as it fell. He quickly got back on his feet, and after a rope was thrown to him, he secured the carcass before getting back in the boat. We then triumphantly returned to the schooner, towing our trophy behind us. This bear, when measured, turned out to be a full fifteen feet long. Its fur was completely white, very coarse, and tightly curled. Its eyes were blood red, larger than those of the Arctic bear, and its snout was rounder, somewhat resembling that of a bulldog. The meat was tender but had a strong fishy taste, though the men devoured it eagerly and said it was excellent food.

Scarcely had we got our prize alongside, when the man at the masthead gave the joyful shout of “land on the starboard bow!” All hands were now upon the alert, and, a breeze springing up very opportunely from the northward and eastward, we were soon close in with the coast. It proved to be a low rocky islet, of about a league in circumference, and altogether destitute of vegetation, if we except a species of prickly pear. In approaching it from the northward, a singular ledge of rock is seen projecting into the sea, and bearing a strong resemblance to corded bales of cotton. Around this ledge to the westward is a small bay, at the bottom of which our boats effected a convenient landing.

As soon as we got our prize alongside, the man at the masthead shouted with joy, “Land on the starboard bow!” Everyone was on alert, and a fresh breeze came in nicely from the northeast, bringing us close to the coast. It turned out to be a small, low rocky island, about a league around, and completely barren of vegetation, except for a kind of prickly pear. Approaching from the north, you can see a unique rock ledge sticking out into the sea, looking a lot like bales of cotton tied up with rope. To the west of this ledge is a small bay where our boats managed a good landing.

It did not take us long to explore every portion of the island, but, with one exception, we found nothing worthy of our observation. In the southern extremity, we picked up near the shore, half buried in a pile of loose stones, a piece of wood, which seemed to have formed the prow of a canoe. There had been evidently some attempt at carving upon it, and Captain Guy fancied that he made out the figure of a tortoise, but the resemblance did not strike me very forcibly. Besides this prow, if such it were, we found no other token that any living creature had ever been here before. Around the coast we discovered occasional small floes of ice—but these were very few. The exact situation of the islet (to which Captain Guy gave the name of Bennet’s Islet, in honour of his partner in the ownership of the schooner) is 82 degrees 50’ S. latitude, 42 degrees 20’ W. longitude.

It didn't take us long to explore every part of the island, but, with one exception, we didn't find anything worth noting. At the southern end, we found a piece of wood near the shore, half-buried in a pile of loose stones, which appeared to be the front of a canoe. There had clearly been some attempt at carving on it, and Captain Guy thought he saw the shape of a tortoise, but I wasn't convinced. Other than this prow, if that's what it was, we found no other sign that any living creature had ever been here before. Along the coast, we came across a few small ice floes, but they were very rare. The exact location of the islet (which Captain Guy named Bennet’s Islet in honor of his partner in owning the schooner) is at 82 degrees 50' S. latitude, 42 degrees 20' W. longitude.

We had now advanced to the southward more than eight degrees farther than any previous navigators, and the sea still lay perfectly open before us. We found, too, that the variation uniformly decreased as we proceeded, and, what was still more surprising, that the temperature of the air, and latterly of the water, became milder. The weather might even be called pleasant, and we had a steady but very gentle breeze always from some northern point of the compass. The sky was usually clear, with now and then a slight appearance of thin vapour in the southern horizon—this, however, was invariably of brief duration. Two difficulties alone presented themselves to our view; we were getting short of fuel, and symptoms of scurvy had occurred among several of the crew. These considerations began to impress upon Captain Guy the necessity of returning, and he spoke of it frequently. For my own part, confident as I was of soon arriving at land of some description upon the course we were pursuing, and having every reason to believe, from present appearances, that we should not find it the sterile soil met with in the higher Arctic latitudes, I warmly pressed upon him the expediency of persevering, at least for a few days longer, in the direction we were now holding. So tempting an opportunity of solving the great problem in regard to an Antarctic continent had never yet been afforded to man, and I confess that I felt myself bursting with indignation at the timid and ill-timed suggestions of our commander. I believe, indeed, that what I could not refrain from saying to him on this head had the effect of inducing him to push on. While, therefore, I cannot but lament the most unfortunate and bloody events which immediately arose from my advice, I must still be allowed to feel some degree of gratification at having been instrumental, however remotely, in opening to the eye of science one of the most intensely exciting secrets which has ever engrossed its attention.

We had now traveled south more than eight degrees farther than any previous explorers, and the sea was still completely open in front of us. We also noticed that the magnetic variation consistently decreased as we moved forward, and, even more astonishing, that the air temperature—and later the water temperature—got milder. The weather could even be described as pleasant, with a steady but gentle breeze coming from some northern direction. The sky was usually clear, with occasional thin clouds appearing on the southern horizon, but these were always short-lived. Only two challenges stood before us: we were running low on fuel, and several crew members were showing signs of scurvy. These concerns made Captain Guy increasingly aware of the need to turn back, and he mentioned it frequently. As for me, I was confident we would soon reach some land on our current path and believed, based on what we could see, that it wouldn’t be the barren ground found in the higher Arctic regions. I strongly urged him to continue at least a few days longer in the direction we were heading. A chance to solve the major question about an Antarctic continent had never before been offered to humanity, and I admit I was fuming at our commander’s cautious and poorly timed suggestions. I truly believe that what I couldn’t help but express to him had an impact on his decision to push forward. While I can’t help but lament the unfortunate and bloody consequences that arose from my advice, I still feel a sense of satisfaction at having played a part, however indirectly, in revealing to science one of the most thrilling secrets it has ever pursued.

CHAPTER 18

January 18.—This morning {*4} we continued to the southward, with the same pleasant weather as before. The sea was entirely smooth, the air tolerably warm and from the northeast, the temperature of the water fifty-three. We now again got our sounding-gear in order, and, with a hundred and fifty fathoms of line, found the current setting toward the pole at the rate of a mile an hour. This constant tendency to the southward, both in the wind and current, caused some degree of speculation, and even of alarm, in different quarters of the schooner, and I saw distinctly that no little impression had been made upon the mind of Captain Guy. He was exceedingly sensitive to ridicule, however, and I finally succeeded in laughing him out of his apprehensions. The variation was now very trivial. In the course of the day we saw several large whales of the right species, and innumerable flights of the albatross passed over the vessel. We also picked up a bush, full of red berries, like those of the hawthorn, and the carcass of a singular-looking land-animal. It was three feet in length, and but six inches in height, with four very short legs, the feet armed with long claws of a brilliant scarlet, and resembling coral in substance. The body was covered with a straight silky hair, perfectly white. The tail was peaked like that of a rat, and about a foot and a half long. The head resembled a cat’s, with the exception of the ears—these were flopped like the ears of a dog. The teeth were of the same brilliant scarlet as the claws.

January 18.—This morning we headed south again, enjoying the same nice weather as before. The sea was completely calm, the air was fairly warm coming from the northeast, and the water temperature was fifty-three degrees. We got our sounding gear ready again, and with a hundred and fifty fathoms of line, discovered that the current was flowing toward the pole at a speed of a mile an hour. This consistent push southward, in both the wind and current, sparked some speculation and even concern among the crew, and I noticed that Captain Guy was particularly affected by it. He was very sensitive to ridicule, but I eventually managed to ease his worries with some laughter. The magnetic variation was now quite small. Throughout the day, we spotted several large whales of the right kind, and countless albatrosses flew over the ship. We also collected a bush filled with red berries, similar to hawthorn berries, and the body of a strange-looking land animal. It measured three feet long and only six inches tall, with four very short legs equipped with long, bright red claws that looked like coral. Its body was covered in straight, silky, pure white hair. The tail was pointed like a rat's, about a foot and a half long. The head resembled that of a cat, except the ears were floppy like a dog's. Its teeth were the same vivid red as its claws.

January 19.—To-day, being in latitude 83 degrees 20’, longitude 43 degrees 5’ W. (the sea being of an extraordinarily dark colour), we again saw land from the masthead, and, upon a closer scrutiny, found it to be one of a group of very large islands. The shore was precipitous, and the interior seemed to be well wooded, a circumstance which occasioned us great joy. In about four hours from our first discovering the land we came to anchor in ten fathoms, sandy bottom, a league from the coast, as a high surf, with strong ripples here and there, rendered a nearer approach of doubtful expediency. The two largest boats were now ordered out, and a party, well armed (among whom were Peters and myself), proceeded to look for an opening in the reef which appeared to encircle the island. After searching about for some time, we discovered an inlet, which we were entering, when we saw four large canoes put off from the shore, filled with men who seemed to be well armed. We waited for them to come up, and, as they moved with great rapidity, they were soon within hail. Captain Guy now held up a white handkerchief on the blade of an oar, when the strangers made a full stop, and commenced a loud jabbering all at once, intermingled with occasional shouts, in which we could distinguish the words Anamoo-moo! and Lama-Lama! They continued this for at least half an hour, during which we had a good opportunity of observing their appearance.

January 19.—Today, being at latitude 83 degrees 20’, longitude 43 degrees 5’ W. (the sea was an exceptionally dark color), we spotted land from the masthead again, and upon closer inspection, we realized it was one of a group of very large islands. The shoreline was steep, and the interior looked well wooded, which made us very happy. About four hours after first seeing the land, we dropped anchor in ten fathoms on a sandy bottom, a league from the coast, as a high surf, with strong ripples here and there, made it risky to get closer. The two largest boats were launched, and a well-armed group (including Peters and myself) went looking for an entrance in the reef that seemed to surround the island. After some searching, we found an inlet and were about to enter when we noticed four large canoes coming from the shore, filled with men who appeared to be well armed. We waited for them to approach, and since they moved quickly, they were soon close enough to hear. Captain Guy held up a white handkerchief on the end of an oar, at which point the strangers stopped and started loudly chattering all at once, mixed with occasional shouts, during which we could pick out the words Anamoo-moo! and Lama-Lama! They kept this up for at least half an hour, giving us a good chance to observe their appearance.

In the four canoes, which might have been fifty feet long and five broad, there were a hundred and ten savages in all. They were about the ordinary stature of Europeans, but of a more muscular and brawny frame. Their complexion a jet black, with thick and long woolly hair. They were clothed in skins of an unknown black animal, shaggy and silky, and made to fit the body with some degree of skill, the hair being inside, except where turned out about the neck, wrists, and ankles. Their arms consisted principally of clubs, of a dark, and apparently very heavy wood. Some spears, however, were observed among them, headed with flint, and a few slings. The bottoms of the canoes were full of black stones about the size of a large egg.

In the four canoes, which were about fifty feet long and five feet wide, there were a total of one hundred and ten people. They were roughly the same height as Europeans but had a more muscular and strong build. Their skin was jet black, and they had thick, long, woolly hair. They wore skins from an unknown black animal, which were shaggy and silky, tailored to fit their bodies with some skill, with the fur on the inside except where it was turned out around the neck, wrists, and ankles. Their weapons mostly consisted of clubs made from a dark, seemingly heavy wood. Some of them had spears tipped with flint, and a few had slings. The bottoms of the canoes were filled with black stones about the size of large eggs.

When they had concluded their harangue (for it was clear they intended their jabbering for such), one of them who seemed to be the chief stood up in the prow of his canoe, and made signs for us to bring our boats alongside of him. This hint we pretended not to understand, thinking it the wiser plan to maintain, if possible, the interval between us, as their number more than quadrupled our own. Finding this to be the case, the chief ordered the three other canoes to hold back, while he advanced toward us with his own. As soon as he came up with us he leaped on board the largest of our boats, and seated himself by the side of Captain Guy, pointing at the same time to the schooner, and repeating the word Anamoo-moo! and Lama-Lama! We now put back to the vessel, the four canoes following at a little distance.

When they finished their rant (since it was clear they meant it that way), one of them, who seemed to be the leader, stood up at the front of his canoe and signaled for us to pull our boats alongside him. We pretended not to get the hint, thinking it was smarter to keep some distance between us since their numbers were more than four times ours. Realizing this, the leader ordered the three other canoes to hold back while he came toward us in his own. As soon as he reached us, he jumped aboard the largest of our boats and sat next to Captain Guy, pointing at the schooner and repeating the words Anamoo-moo! and Lama-Lama! We then headed back to the vessel, with the four canoes following a bit behind.

Upon getting alongside, the chief evinced symptoms of extreme surprise and delight, clapping his hands, slapping his thighs and breast, and laughing obstreperously. His followers behind joined in his merriment, and for some minutes the din was so excessive as to be absolutely deafening. Quiet being at length restored, Captain Guy ordered the boats to be hoisted up, as a necessary precaution, and gave the chief (whose name we soon found to be Too-wit) to understand that we could admit no more than twenty of his men on deck at one time. With this arrangement he appeared perfectly satisfied, and gave some directions to the canoes, when one of them approached, the rest remaining about fifty yards off. Twenty of the savages now got on board, and proceeded to ramble over every part of the deck, and scramble about among the rigging, making themselves much at home, and examining every article with great inquisitiveness.

When they got close, the chief showed signs of extreme surprise and joy, clapping his hands, slapping his thighs and chest, and laughing loudly. His followers behind him joined in the laughter, and for several minutes, the noise was so overwhelming that it was absolutely deafening. Once things finally calmed down, Captain Guy ordered the boats to be hoisted up as a safety measure and let the chief (whose name we soon learned was Too-wit) know that we could only allow twenty of his men on deck at a time. He seemed completely satisfied with this agreement and gave some instructions to the canoes, while one of them approached, the others staying about fifty yards away. Twenty of the natives then came on board and began to explore every part of the deck, scrambling around in the rigging, making themselves feel right at home, and examining everything with great curiosity.

It was quite evident that they had never before seen any of the white race—from whose complexion, indeed, they appeared to recoil. They believed the Jane to be a living creature, and seemed to be afraid of hurting it with the points of their spears, carefully turning them up. Our crew were much amused with the conduct of Too-wit in one instance. The cook was splitting some wood near the galley, and, by accident, struck his axe into the deck, making a gash of considerable depth. The chief immediately ran up, and pushing the cook on one side rather roughly, commenced a half whine, half howl, strongly indicative of sympathy in what he considered the sufferings of the schooner, patting and smoothing the gash with his hand, and washing it from a bucket of seawater which stood by. This was a degree of ignorance for which we were not prepared, and for my part I could not help thinking some of it affected.

It was pretty obvious that they had never seen anyone from the white race before, as they seemed to flinch at their skin tone. They thought Jane was a living being and looked worried about accidentally hurting it with their spears, carefully turning the tips up. Our crew found Too-wit’s behavior amusing in one instance. The cook was chopping wood near the kitchen and accidentally hit his axe into the deck, leaving quite a deep cut. The chief quickly approached, roughly pushed the cook aside, and began making a sound that was part whine, part howl, clearly showing sympathy for what he thought were the schooner's injuries. He started patting and smoothing the cut with his hand and even rinsed it with seawater from a bucket nearby. This level of ignorance took us by surprise, and I couldn’t help but think that some of it was put on.

When the visitors had satisfied, as well as they could, their curiosity in regard to our upper works, they were admitted below, when their amazement exceeded all bounds. Their astonishment now appeared to be far too deep for words, for they roamed about in silence, broken only by low ejaculations. The arms afforded them much food for speculation, and they were suffered to handle and examine them at leisure. I do not believe that they had the least suspicion of their actual use, but rather took them for idols, seeing the care we had of them, and the attention with which we watched their movements while handling them. At the great guns their wonder was redoubled. They approached them with every mark of the profoundest reverence and awe, but forbore to examine them minutely. There were two large mirrors in the cabin, and here was the acme of their amazement. Too-wit was the first to approach them, and he had got in the middle of the cabin, with his face to one and his back to the other, before he fairly perceived them. Upon raising his eyes and seeing his reflected self in the glass, I thought the savage would go mad; but, upon turning short round to make a retreat, and beholding himself a second time in the opposite direction, I was afraid he would expire upon the spot. No persuasion could prevail upon him to take another look; throwing himself upon the floor, with his face buried in his hands, he remained thus until we were obliged to drag him upon deck.

When the visitors had satisfied their curiosity about our upper works as much as they could, they were allowed below, where their amazement reached new heights. Their astonishment seemed too great for words; they wandered around in silence, occasionally breaking it with low exclamations. The weapons provided them plenty to think about, and they were allowed to handle and inspect them at their leisure. I don't think they had any real idea of their actual purpose, but instead assumed they were idols, given the care we took of them and the attention we paid while they interacted with them. Their wonder increased dramatically at the large guns. They approached them with the utmost respect and awe, but didn't examine them closely. There were two large mirrors in the cabin, and that was the pinnacle of their astonishment. Too-wit was the first to approach them, walking into the middle of the cabin, facing one mirror and turning his back to the other before he even noticed them. When he raised his eyes and saw his reflection, I thought he might go mad; but when he quickly turned to flee and saw himself again in the other mirror, I feared he might faint right there. No amount of persuasion could convince him to look again; he threw himself on the floor, burying his face in his hands, and stayed that way until we had to drag him back on deck.

The whole of the savages were admitted on board in this manner, twenty at a time, Too-wit being suffered to remain during the entire period. We saw no disposition to thievery among them, nor did we miss a single article after their departure. Throughout the whole of their visit they evinced the most friendly manner. There were, however, some points in their demeanour which we found it impossible to understand; for example, we could not get them to approach several very harmless objects—such as the schooner’s sails, an egg, an open book, or a pan of flour. We endeavoured to ascertain if they had among them any articles which might be turned to account in the way of traffic, but found great difficulty in being comprehended. We made out, nevertheless, what greatly astonished us, that the islands abounded in the large tortoise of the Gallipagos, one of which we saw in the canoe of Too-wit. We saw also some biche de mer in the hands of one of the savages, who was greedily devouring it in its natural state. These anomalies—for they were such when considered in regard to the latitude—induced Captain Guy to wish for a thorough investigation of the country, in the hope of making a profitable speculation in his discovery. For my own part, anxious as I was to know something more of these islands, I was still more earnestly bent on prosecuting the voyage to the southward without delay. We had now fine weather, but there was no telling how long it would last; and being already in the eighty-fourth parallel, with an open sea before us, a current setting strongly to the southward, and the wind fair, I could not listen with any patience to a proposition of stopping longer than was absolutely necessary for the health of the crew and the taking on board a proper supply of fuel and fresh provisions. I represented to the captain that we might easily make this group on our return, and winter here in the event of being blocked up by the ice. He at length came into my views (for in some way, hardly known to myself, I had acquired much influence over him), and it was finally resolved that, even in the event of our finding biche de mer, we should only stay here a week to recruit, and then push on to the southward while we might. Accordingly we made every necessary preparation, and, under the guidance of Too-wit, got the Jane through the reef in safety, coming to anchor about a mile from the shore, in an excellent bay, completely landlocked, on the southeastern coast of the main island, and in ten fathoms of water, black sandy bottom. At the head of this bay there were three fine springs (we were told) of good water, and we saw abundance of wood in the vicinity. The four canoes followed us in, keeping, however, at a respectful distance. Too-wit himself remained on board, and, upon our dropping anchor, invited us to accompany him on shore, and visit his village in the interior. To this Captain Guy consented; and ten savages being left on board as hostages, a party of us, twelve in all, got in readiness to attend the chief. We took care to be well armed, yet without evincing any distrust. The schooner had her guns run out, her boarding-nettings up, and every other proper precaution was taken to guard against surprise. Directions were left with the chief mate to admit no person on board during our absence, and, in the event of our not appearing in twelve hours, to send the cutter, with a swivel, around the island in search of us.

The entire group of natives was brought on board like this, twenty at a time, with Too-wit staying on the ship the whole time. We didn’t see any signs of stealing among them, and nothing was missing after they left. Throughout their visit, they were very friendly. However, there were some aspects of their behavior that we found hard to understand; for example, we couldn’t get them to approach several harmless objects, like the schooner's sails, an egg, an open book, or a pan of flour. We tried to find out if they had any items for trade but struggled to communicate. Despite that, we discovered something that surprised us: the islands were teeming with large tortoises from the Galapagos, one of which we saw in Too-wit's canoe. We also saw some sea cucumbers in the hands of one of the natives, who was eagerly eating it raw. These oddities—especially considering the region—made Captain Guy want to investigate the country thoroughly, hoping to profit from his discovery. Personally, while I was eager to learn more about these islands, I was even more determined to continue our voyage south without delay. The weather was nice now, but we had no idea how long it would last; since we were already at the eighty-fourth parallel, with open sea ahead, a strong current pushing south, and a favorable wind, I couldn’t entertain any idea of staying longer than absolutely necessary for the crew's health and to take on enough fuel and fresh provisions. I pointed out to the captain that we could easily revisit this group on our way back and spend the winter here if we got stuck in the ice. Eventually, he agreed with me (somehow, I had gained quite a bit of influence over him), and it was decided that even if we found sea cucumbers, we would only stay a week to restock and then head south while we could. So, we made all the necessary preparations, and under Too-wit’s guidance, we got the Jane safely through the reef, anchoring about a mile from shore in a great bay, completely sheltered, on the southeastern coast of the main island, in ten fathoms of water with a black sandy bottom. At the head of this bay, there were said to be three good springs of fresh water, and we saw plenty of wood around. The four canoes followed us in, keeping a respectful distance. Too-wit himself stayed on board, and when we dropped anchor, he invited us to go ashore and visit his village inland. Captain Guy agreed, and we left ten natives on board as hostages while a group of us, twelve in total, got ready to go with the chief. We made sure to be well-armed but without showing any distrust. The schooner had her guns ready, boarding nets up, and all proper precautions were taken to guard against surprises. We left instructions with the chief mate to allow no one on board during our absence and, if we didn’t return in twelve hours, to send the cutter, with a swivel gun, around the island to look for us.

At every step we took inland the conviction forced itself upon us that we were in a country differing essentially from any hitherto visited by civilized men. We saw nothing with which we had been formerly conversant. The trees resembled no growth of either the torrid, the temperate, or the northern frigid zones, and were altogether unlike those of the lower southern latitudes we had already traversed. The very rocks were novel in their mass, their color, and their stratification; and the streams themselves, utterly incredible as it may appear, had so little in common with those of other climates, that we were scrupulous of tasting them, and, indeed, had difficulty in bringing ourselves to believe that their qualities were purely those of nature. At a small brook which crossed our path (the first we had reached) Too-wit and his attendants halted to drink. On account of the singular character of the water, we refused to taste it, supposing it to be polluted; and it was not until some time afterward we came to understand that such was the appearance of the streams throughout the whole group. I am at a loss to give a distinct idea of the nature of this liquid, and cannot do so without many words. Although it flowed with rapidity in all declivities where common water would do so, yet never, except when falling in a cascade, had it the customary appearance of limpidity. It was, nevertheless, in point of fact, as perfectly limpid as any limestone water in existence, the difference being only in appearance. At first sight, and especially in cases where little declivity was found, it bore resemblance, as regards consistency, to a thick infusion of gum arabic in common water. But this was only the least remarkable of its extraordinary qualities. It was not colourless, nor was it of any one uniform colour—presenting to the eye, as it flowed, every possible shade of purple; like the hues of a changeable silk. This variation in shade was produced in a manner which excited as profound astonishment in the minds of our party as the mirror had done in the case of Too-wit. Upon collecting a basinful, and allowing it to settle thoroughly, we perceived that the whole mass of liquid was made up of a number of distinct veins, each of a distinct hue; that these veins did not commingle; and that their cohesion was perfect in regard to their own particles among themselves, and imperfect in regard to neighbouring veins. Upon passing the blade of a knife athwart the veins, the water closed over it immediately, as with us, and also, in withdrawing it, all traces of the passage of the knife were instantly obliterated. If, however, the blade was passed down accurately between the two veins, a perfect separation was effected, which the power of cohesion did not immediately rectify. The phenomena of this water formed the first definite link in that vast chain of apparent miracles with which I was destined to be at length encircled.

As we moved further inland, we became increasingly convinced that we were in a place completely different from anywhere civilized people had been before. Everything we saw was unlike anything we had encountered before. The trees didn't match any from the tropical, temperate, or northern cold regions, and were entirely different from those in the southern areas we had traveled through. The rocks were unique in their size, color, and layering; and the streams, incredibly, were so unlike waters from other climates that we hesitated to taste them, struggling to believe their qualities were purely natural. At a small stream that crossed our path (the first one we encountered), Too-wit and his crew stopped to drink. Due to the unusual nature of the water, we declined to try it, thinking it might be contaminated; it wasn't until later that we realized this was the appearance of the streams throughout the entire area. I find it hard to describe this water accurately without a lot of words. Although it flowed quickly down slopes like regular water, it only looked clear when it fell in a waterfall. However, it was actually as clear as any limestone water; the difference was only in its appearance. At first glance, especially where there was little slope, it resembled a thick mixture of gum arabic and water. But this was just one of its many strange characteristics. It wasn't colorless, nor did it have a consistent color—when flowing, it showed every shade of purple, like the colors of a changeable silk. This variation astonished our group just as the mirror had amazed Too-wit. Once we collected a basin full and let it settle, we saw that the water was made up of many distinct streams, each a different color; these streams didn’t mix and held together perfectly among their own particles, but only partially with neighboring streams. When we passed a knife across the streams, the water immediately closed over it, just like ours, and as we withdrew it, there were no signs of the knife's passage left. However, if the blade was carefully placed exactly between two streams, a complete separation occurred that the cohesive power didn't fix right away. The strange nature of this water marked the first clear link in the series of apparent miracles I was destined to ultimately encounter.

CHAPTER 19

We were nearly three hours in reaching the village, it being more than nine miles in the interior, and the path lying through a rugged country. As we passed along, the party of Too-wit (the whole hundred and ten savages of the canoes) was momentarily strengthened by smaller detachments, of from two to six or seven, which joined us, as if by accident, at different turns of the road. There appeared so much of system in this that I could not help feeling distrust, and I spoke to Captain Guy of my apprehensions. It was now too late, however, to recede, and we concluded that our best security lay in evincing a perfect confidence in the good faith of Too-wit. We accordingly went on, keeping a wary eye upon the manoeuvres of the savages, and not permitting them to divide our numbers by pushing in between. In this way, passing through a precipitous ravine, we at length reached what we were told was the only collection of habitations upon the island. As we came in sight of them, the chief set up a shout, and frequently repeated the word Klock-klock, which we supposed to be the name of the village, or perhaps the generic name for villages.

We spent almost three hours getting to the village, which was over nine miles in the interior, and the path went through a rough area. As we moved along, Too-wit’s group (the whole hundred and ten natives from the canoes) was continually joined by smaller groups of two to seven people that seemed to join us by chance at various points along the road. There seemed to be too much order in this, which made me feel uneasy, so I shared my concerns with Captain Guy. However, it was too late to turn back, and we decided our best way to stay safe was to show complete trust in Too-wit’s good intentions. So, we continued, keeping a close watch on the actions of the natives and making sure they didn't break our ranks by slipping in between us. This way, after navigating through a steep ravine, we finally reached what we were told was the only group of houses on the island. As we came into view of them, the chief let out a loud shout and repeatedly said the word Klock-klock, which we thought was either the name of the village or maybe a general term for villages.

The dwellings were of the most miserable description imaginable, and, unlike those of even the lowest of the savage races with which mankind are acquainted, were of no uniform plan. Some of them (and these we found belonged to the Wampoos or Yampoos, the great men of the land) consisted of a tree cut down at about four feet from the root, with a large black skin thrown over it, and hanging in loose folds upon the ground. Under this the savage nestled. Others were formed by means of rough limbs of trees, with the withered foliage upon them, made to recline, at an angle of forty-five degrees, against a bank of clay, heaped up, without regular form, to the height of five or six feet. Others, again, were mere holes dug in the earth perpendicularly, and covered over with similar branches, these being removed when the tenant was about to enter, and pulled on again when he had entered. A few were built among the forked limbs of trees as they stood, the upper limbs being partially cut through, so as to bend over upon the lower, thus forming thicker shelter from the weather. The greater number, however, consisted of small shallow caverns, apparently scratched in the face of a precipitous ledge of dark stone, resembling fuller’s earth, with which three sides of the village were bounded. At the door of each of these primitive caverns was a small rock, which the tenant carefully placed before the entrance upon leaving his residence, for what purpose I could not ascertain, as the stone itself was never of sufficient size to close up more than a third of the opening.

The homes were the most miserable kind imaginable, and unlike even the simplest huts of the most primitive cultures, they had no consistent design. Some of them (which we discovered belonged to the Wampoos or Yampoos, the important people of the area) were simply a tree cut down about four feet from the ground, covered with a large black skin that hung loosely on the ground. The savage would nestle underneath this. Others were made from rough tree branches, with dried leaves still on them, leaning at a forty-five-degree angle against a mound of clay, piled up in an irregular shape to a height of five or six feet. Some were just holes dug straight into the ground, covered with similar branches that were moved aside when the occupant was about to enter, then pulled back over once they were inside. A few were constructed among the forked limbs of trees, where the upper branches were partially cut to bend over the lower ones, creating thicker shelter from the elements. However, most of them were small, shallow caves scratched into the steep face of a dark stone cliff, resembling fuller’s earth, which bordered three sides of the village. In front of each of these primitive caves was a small rock, which the occupant would carefully place at the entrance when leaving their home, though I couldn't figure out why, as the stone was never large enough to cover more than a third of the opening.

This village, if it were worthy of the name, lay in a valley of some depth, and could only be approached from the southward, the precipitous ledge of which I have already spoken cutting off all access in other directions. Through the middle of the valley ran a brawling stream of the same magical-looking water which has been described. We saw several strange animals about the dwellings, all appearing to be thoroughly domesticated. The largest of these creatures resembled our common hog in the structure of the body and snout; the tail, however, was bushy, and the legs slender as those of the antelope. Its motion was exceedingly awkward and indecisive, and we never saw it attempt to run. We noticed also several animals very similar in appearance, but of a greater length of body, and covered with a black wool. There were a great variety of tame fowls running about, and these seemed to constitute the chief food of the natives. To our astonishment we saw black albatross among these birds in a state of entire domestication, going to sea periodically for food, but always returning to the village as a home, and using the southern shore in the vicinity as a place of incubation. There they were joined by their friends the pelicans as usual, but these latter never followed them to the dwellings of the savages. Among the other kinds of tame fowls were ducks, differing very little from the canvass-back of our own country, black gannets, and a large bird not unlike the buzzard in appearance, but not carnivorous. Of fish there seemed to be a great abundance. We saw, during our visit, a quantity of dried salmon, rock cod, blue dolphins, mackerel, blackfish, skate, conger eels, elephantfish, mullets, soles, parrotfish, leather-jackets, gurnards, hake, flounders, paracutas, and innumerable other varieties. We noticed, too, that most of them were similar to the fish about the group of Lord Auckland Islands, in a latitude as low as fifty-one degrees south. The Gallipago tortoise was also very plentiful. We saw but few wild animals, and none of a large size, or of a species with which we were familiar. One or two serpents of a formidable aspect crossed our path, but the natives paid them little attention, and we concluded that they were not venomous.

This village, if it could even be called that, lay in a fairly deep valley that was only accessible from the south, as the steep cliffs I mentioned earlier blocked all other approaches. A noisy stream of the same mesmerizing water described before flowed through the middle of the valley. We saw several strange domesticated animals around the homes. The largest resembled a common pig in body structure and snout, but it had a bushy tail and slender legs like an antelope. Its movements were quite awkward and hesitant, and we never saw it attempt to run. We also noticed several animals that looked similar but had longer bodies and were covered in black wool. Numerous tame birds roamed around, which seemed to make up the main food source for the locals. To our surprise, we saw domesticated black albatross among these birds, going out to sea for food but always returning to the village as their home, using the southern shore nearby for nesting. They were joined by their pelican friends, who, as usual, never followed them to the humans' homes. Other types of tame birds included ducks that were quite similar to the canvasback from our own country, black gannets, and a large bird resembling a buzzard, though it wasn't carnivorous. There appeared to be an abundance of fish. During our visit, we saw a variety of dried fish, including salmon, rock cod, blue dolphins, mackerel, blackfish, skate, conger eels, elephantfish, mullets, soles, parrotfish, leather-jackets, gurnards, hake, flounders, paracutas, and countless other types. We also noticed that most of them resembled fish found around the Lord Auckland Islands, at a latitude as low as fifty-one degrees south. The Gallipago tortoise was also quite common. We encountered very few wild animals, and none were large or familiar to us. A couple of snakes that looked quite formidable crossed our path, but the locals paid them little notice, leading us to believe they were not venomous.

As we approached the village with Too-wit and his party, a vast crowd of the people rushed out to meet us, with loud shouts, among which we could only distinguish the everlasting Anamoo-moo! and Lama-Lama! We were much surprised at perceiving that, with one or two exceptions, these new comers were entirely naked, and skins being used only by the men of the canoes. All the weapons of the country seemed also to be in the possession of the latter, for there was no appearance of any among the villagers. There were a great many women and children, the former not altogether wanting in what might be termed personal beauty. They were straight, tall, and well formed, with a grace and freedom of carriage not to be found in civilized society. Their lips, however, like those of the men, were thick and clumsy, so that, even when laughing, the teeth were never disclosed. Their hair was of a finer texture than that of the males. Among these naked villagers there might have been ten or twelve who were clothed, like the party of Too-wit, in dresses of black skin, and armed with lances and heavy clubs. These appeared to have great influence among the rest, and were always addressed by the title Wampoo. These, too, were the tenants of the black skin palaces. That of Too-wit was situated in the centre of the village, and was much larger and somewhat better constructed than others of its kind. The tree which formed its support was cut off at a distance of twelve feet or thereabouts from the root, and there were several branches left just below the cut, these serving to extend the covering, and in this way prevent its flapping about the trunk. The covering, too, which consisted of four very large skins fastened together with wooden skewers, was secured at the bottom with pegs driven through it and into the ground. The floor was strewed with a quantity of dry leaves by way of carpet.

As we got closer to the village with Too-wit and his group, a huge crowd of people rushed out to greet us, shouting loudly, among which we could only make out the familiar Anamoo-moo! and Lama-Lama! We were quite surprised to see that, with a couple of exceptions, most of the newcomers were completely naked, with skins worn only by the men from the canoes. All the weapons seemed to be in the possession of these men, as there were none visible among the villagers. There were many women and children, with the women having what could be called personal beauty. They were tall, straight, and well-built, moving with a grace and freedom not found in civilized society. However, their lips, like the men's, were thick and awkward, so that even when they laughed, their teeth remained hidden. Their hair was finer than that of the men. Among these naked villagers, there were about ten or twelve who were dressed, like Too-wit's party, in garments made of black skin and armed with spears and heavy clubs. They seemed to hold a lot of power among the others and were always addressed as Wampoo. These were also the residents of the black skin palaces. Too-wit's palace was located at the center of the village and was larger and somewhat better built than the others of its kind. The tree that supported it was cut about twelve feet or so from the root, leaving several branches just below the cut to help extend the covering and prevent it from flapping around the trunk. The covering, made of four large skins fastened together with wooden skewers, was secured at the bottom with pegs driven through it into the ground. The floor was covered with a layer of dry leaves serving as a carpet.

To this hut we were conducted with great solemnity, and as many of the natives crowded in after us as possible. Too-wit seated himself on the leaves, and made signs that we should follow his example. This we did, and presently found ourselves in a situation peculiarly uncomfortable, if not indeed critical. We were on the ground, twelve in number, with the savages, as many as forty, sitting on their hams so closely around us that, if any disturbance had arisen, we should have found it impossible to make use of our arms, or indeed to have risen to our feet. The pressure was not only inside the tent, but outside, where probably was every individual on the whole island, the crowd being prevented from trampling us to death only by the incessant exertions and vociferations of Too-wit. Our chief security lay, however, in the presence of Too-wit himself among us, and we resolved to stick by him closely, as the best chance of extricating ourselves from the dilemma, sacrificing him immediately upon the first appearance of hostile design.

We were brought to this hut with a lot of seriousness, and as many locals as could fit crowded in after us. Too-wit sat down on the leaves and gestured for us to do the same. We followed his lead and soon found ourselves in a situation that was very uncomfortable, if not downright critical. There were twelve of us on the ground surrounded by around forty of the locals, sitting so closely that if anything went wrong, we wouldn't be able to use our weapons or even stand up. The pressure was intense both inside the hut and outside, where it seemed like everyone from the island was gathered, the crowd only kept from trampling us by Too-wit’s constant efforts and shouting. Our main safety came from Too-wit being with us, and we decided to stay close to him as our best chance to get out of this situation, ready to sacrifice him at the first sign of danger.

After some trouble a certain degree of quiet was restored, when the chief addressed us in a speech of great length, and very nearly resembling the one delivered in the canoes, with the exception that the Anamoo-moos! were now somewhat more strenuously insisted upon than the Lama-Lamas! We listened in profound silence until the conclusion of this harangue, when Captain Guy replied by assuring the chief of his eternal friendship and goodwill, concluding what he had to say by a present of several strings of blue beads and a knife. At the former the monarch, much to our surprise, turned up his nose with some expression of contempt, but the knife gave him the most unlimited satisfaction, and he immediately ordered dinner. This was handed into the tent over the heads of the attendants, and consisted of the palpitating entrails of a specialis of unknown animal, probably one of the slim-legged hogs which we had observed in our approach to the village. Seeing us at a loss how to proceed, he began, by way of setting us an example, to devour yard after yard of the enticing food, until we could positively stand it no longer, and evinced such manifest symptoms of rebellion of stomach as inspired his majesty with a degree of astonishment only inferior to that brought about by the looking-glasses. We declined, however, partaking of the delicacies before us, and endeavoured to make him understand that we had no appetite whatever, having just finished a hearty dejeuner.

After some hassle, a certain level of quiet was restored when the chief addressed us with a lengthy speech that was very similar to the one he gave in the canoes, but this time he emphasized the Anamoo-moos! even more than the Lama-Lamas! We listened in complete silence until he finished, at which point Captain Guy replied by assuring the chief of his lasting friendship and goodwill, wrapping up his remarks with a gift of several strings of blue beads and a knife. To our surprise, the chief turned up his nose at the beads with a look of disdain, but he was extremely pleased with the knife and immediately ordered dinner. The food was handed into the tent over the attendants’ heads and consisted of the still-pulsing entrails of an unknown animal, likely one of the slim-legged pigs we had seen as we approached the village. Noticing that we were unsure how to proceed, the chief began to eat large portions of the tempting food to set an example for us until we could no longer bear it, showing obvious signs of stomach rebellion that left him as astonished as he had been by the mirrors. However, we turned down the delicacies before us and tried to convey that we had no appetite whatsoever, having just finished a hearty breakfast.

When the monarch had made an end of his meal, we commenced a series of cross-questioning in every ingenious manner we could devise, with a view of discovering what were the chief productions of the country, and whether any of them might be turned to profit. At length he seemed to have some idea of our meaning, and offered to accompany us to a part of coast where he assured us the biche de mer (pointing to a specimen of that animal) was to be found in great abundance. We were glad of this early opportunity of escaping from the oppression of the crowd, and signified our eagerness to proceed. We now left the tent, and, accompanied by the whole population of the village, followed the chief to the southeastern extremity of the island, nor far from the bay where our vessel lay at anchor. We waited here for about an hour, until the four canoes were brought around by some of the savages to our station. The whole of our party then getting into one of them, we were paddled along the edge of the reef before mentioned, and of another still farther out, where we saw a far greater quantity of biche de mer than the oldest seamen among us had ever seen in those groups of the lower latitudes most celebrated for this article of commerce. We stayed near these reefs only long enough to satisfy ourselves that we could easily load a dozen vessels with the animal if necessary, when we were taken alongside the schooner, and parted with Too-wit, after obtaining from him a promise that he would bring us, in the course of twenty-four hours, as many of the canvass-back ducks and Gallipago tortoises as his canoes would hold. In the whole of this adventure we saw nothing in the demeanour of the natives calculated to create suspicion, with the single exception of the systematic manner in which their party was strengthened during our route from the schooner to the village.

After the monarch finished his meal, we started asking a series of questions in every clever way we could think of, trying to find out what the main products of the country were and if any could be profitable. Eventually, he seemed to grasp our intent and offered to take us to a part of the coast where he assured us we could find biche de mer (pointing to a specimen of that creature) in great abundance. We were eager to escape the crowd, so we expressed our interest in moving forward. We left the tent and, followed by the entire village, made our way to the southeastern tip of the island, not far from the bay where our ship was anchored. We waited for about an hour until some of the locals brought four canoes to our location. Once the whole group got into one of them, we paddled along the edge of the nearby reef and another farther out, where we encountered a much larger quantity of biche de mer than even the oldest sailors among us had seen in the lower latitudes known for this type of trade. We stayed near these reefs just long enough to confirm we could easily fill a dozen ships with the animals if needed, before heading back to the schooner and saying goodbye to Too-wit, after getting his promise that he would return within twenty-four hours with as many canvass-back ducks and Galapagos tortoises as his canoes could hold. Throughout this adventure, we noticed nothing in the natives' behavior that raised any suspicions, except for the way their group seemed to grow systematically while we traveled from the schooner to the village.

CHAPTER 20

The chief was as good as his word, and we were soon plentifully supplied with fresh provisions. We found the tortoises as fine as we had ever seen, and the ducks surpassed our best species of wild fowl, being exceedingly tender, juicy, and well-flavoured. Besides these, the savages brought us, upon our making them comprehend our wishes, a vast quantity of brown celery and scurvy grass, with a canoe-load of fresh fish and some dried. The celery was a treat indeed, and the scurvy grass proved of incalculable benefit in restoring those of our men who had shown symptoms of disease. In a very short time we had not a single person on the sick-list. We had also plenty of other kinds of fresh provisions, among which may be mentioned a species of shellfish resembling the mussel in shape, but with the taste of an oyster. Shrimps, too, and prawns were abundant, and albatross and other birds’ eggs with dark shells. We took in, too, a plentiful stock of the flesh of the hog which I have mentioned before. Most of the men found it a palatable food, but I thought it fishy and otherwise disagreeable. In return for these good things we presented the natives with blue beads, brass trinkets, nails, knives, and pieces of red cloth, they being fully delighted in the exchange. We established a regular market on shore, just under the guns of the schooner, where our barterings were carried on with every appearance of good faith, and a degree of order which their conduct at the village of Klock-klock had not led us to expect from the savages.

The chief kept his promise, and we were soon well-stocked with fresh supplies. The tortoises were the best we had ever seen, and the ducks were better than our top wild fowl, being extremely tender, juicy, and flavorful. In addition to these, the locals brought us, after we made our needs clear, a large amount of brown celery and scurvy grass, along with a canoe full of fresh and some dried fish. The celery was a real treat, and the scurvy grass was incredibly helpful in recovering those of our men who had shown signs of illness. In no time, we had no one left on the sick-list. We also had plenty of other fresh foods, including a type of shellfish that looked like a mussel but tasted like an oyster. There were abundant shrimps and prawns, as well as albatross and other birds’ eggs with dark shells. We also stocked up on the flesh of the hog I mentioned before. Most of the men found it tasty, but I thought it fishy and not very appealing. In exchange for these goods, we gave the locals blue beads, brass trinkets, nails, knives, and bits of red cloth, and they were thrilled with the trade. We set up a regular market on the shore, right near the guns of the schooner, where our trading was conducted in good faith and with a level of order we hadn't expected from the locals, given their behavior at the village of Klock-klock.

Matters went on thus very amicably for several days, during which parties of the natives were frequently on board the schooner, and parties of our men frequently on shore, making long excursions into the interior, and receiving no molestation whatever. Finding the ease with which the vessel might be loaded with biche de mer, owing to the friendly disposition of the islanders, and the readiness with which they would render us assistance in collecting it, Captain Guy resolved to enter into negotiations with Too-wit for the erection of suitable houses in which to cure the article, and for the services of himself and tribe in gathering as much as possible, while he himself took advantage of the fine weather to prosecute his voyage to the southward. Upon mentioning this project to the chief he seemed very willing to enter into an agreement. A bargain was accordingly struck, perfectly satisfactory to both parties, by which it was arranged that, after making the necessary preparations, such as laying off the proper grounds, erecting a portion of the buildings, and doing some other work in which the whole of our crew would be required, the schooner should proceed on her route, leaving three of her men on the island to superintend the fulfilment of the project, and instruct the natives in drying the biche de mer. In regard to terms, these were made to depend upon the exertions of the savages in our absence. They were to receive a stipulated quantity of blue beads, knives, red cloth, and so forth, for every certain number of piculs of the biche de mer which should be ready on our return.

Things went on pretty smoothly for several days, during which groups of the locals often visited the schooner, and groups of our crew frequently went ashore, taking long trips into the interior without any trouble. Noticing how easily the ship could be loaded with biche de mer because the islanders were so friendly and were eager to help us collect it, Captain Guy decided to negotiate with Too-wit about building appropriate houses for processing the product and getting his tribe to help gather as much as possible while he took advantage of the nice weather to continue his journey south. When he mentioned this idea to the chief, he seemed quite open to making a deal. A satisfactory agreement was reached for both sides, stating that after making the necessary preparations, like outlining the right areas, starting some of the buildings, and doing other tasks that our entire crew would need to take care of, the schooner would continue on her path, leaving three of her crew members on the island to oversee the project and teach the locals how to dry the biche de mer. As for the terms, these would depend on the efforts of the natives while we were away. They were to receive a set amount of blue beads, knives, red fabric, and so on for every specific number of piculs of biche de mer that would be ready when we returned.

A description of the nature of this important article of commerce, and the method of preparing it, may prove of some interest to my readers, and I can find no more suitable place than this for introducing an account of it. The following comprehensive notice of the substance is taken from a modern history of a voyage to the South Seas.

A description of what this important trade item is and how it's made might interest my readers, and I think this is the perfect spot to share that. The following detailed overview of the substance comes from a modern history of a voyage to the South Seas.

“It is that mollusca from the Indian Seas which is known to commerce by the French name bouche de mer (a nice morsel from the sea). If I am not much mistaken, the celebrated Cuvier calls it gasteropeda pulmonifera. It is abundantly gathered in the coasts of the Pacific islands, and gathered especially for the Chinese market, where it commands a great price, perhaps as much as their much-talked-of edible birds’ nests, which are properly made up of the gelatinous matter picked up by a species of swallow from the body of these molluscae. They have no shell, no legs, nor any prominent part, except an absorbing and an excretory, opposite organs; but, by their elastic wings, like caterpillars or worms, they creep in shallow waters, in which, when low, they can be seen by a kind of swallow, the sharp bill of which, inserted in the soft animal, draws a gummy and filamentous substance, which, by drying, can be wrought into the solid walls of their nest. Hence the name of gasteropeda pulmonifera.

“It is that mollusca from the Indian Seas that is known in commerce by the French name bouche de mer (a delicious treat from the sea). If I'm not mistaken, the famous Cuvier refers to it as gasteropeda pulmonifera. It is commonly collected along the coasts of the Pacific islands, especially for the Chinese market, where it fetches a high price, possibly as much as their renowned edible bird nests, which are made from the gelatinous material gathered by a type of swallow from the bodies of these mollusks. They have no shell, no legs, and no noticeable features, except for an absorbing and an excretory organ positioned opposite each other; however, with their flexible wings, resembling caterpillars or worms, they crawl in shallow waters where, at low tide, they can be spotted by a certain swallow. The bird’s sharp bill, inserted into the soft body of the mollusk, extracts a gummy and thread-like substance that, when dried, can be shaped into the sturdy walls of their nests. Thus, the name gasteropeda pulmonifera.”

“This mollusca is oblong, and of different sizes, from three to eighteen inches in length; and I have seen a few that were not less than two feet long. They were nearly round, a little flattish on one side, which lies next to the bottom of the sea; and they are from one to eight inches thick. They crawl up into shallow water at particular seasons of the year, probably for the purpose of gendering, as we often find them in pairs. It is when the sun has the most power on the water, rendering it tepid, that they approach the shore; and they often go up into places so shallow that, on the tide’s receding, they are left dry, exposed to the beat of the sun. But they do not bring forth their young in shallow water, as we never see any of their progeny, and full-grown ones are always observed coming in from deep water. They feed principally on that class of zoophytes which produce the coral.

This mollusk is oblong and comes in various sizes, ranging from three to eighteen inches in length; I’ve even seen a few that were up to two feet long. They are almost round, slightly flattened on one side that rests on the seafloor, and they are one to eight inches thick. They crawl into shallow water during certain seasons, likely for mating, as we often find them in pairs. They approach the shore when the sun is strong enough to warm the water, making it comfortable for them. They sometimes venture into areas so shallow that when the tide goes out, they get left dry and exposed to the sun. However, they don’t give birth to their young in shallow water, as we never observe their offspring, and fully grown ones are always seen returning from deeper water. They primarily feed on the type of zoophytes that produce coral.

“The biche de mer is generally taken in three or four feet of water; after which they are brought on shore, and split at one end with a knife, the incision being one inch or more, according to the size of the mollusca. Through this opening the entrails are forced out by pressure, and they are much like those of any other small tenant of the deep. The article is then washed, and afterward boiled to a certain degree, which must not be too much or too little. They are then buried in the ground for four hours, then boiled again for a short time, after which they are dried, either by the fire or the sun. Those cured by the sun are worth the most; but where one picul (133 1/3 lbs.) can be cured that way, I can cure thirty piculs by the fire. When once properly cured, they can be kept in a dry place for two or three years without any risk; but they should be examined once in every few months, say four times a year, to see if any dampness is likely to affect them.

The biche de mer is usually found in three or four feet of water. Once caught, they're brought ashore and sliced at one end with a knife, making an incision of about an inch or more, depending on the size of the mollusk. The entrails are then pushed out by applying pressure, and they resemble those of other small sea creatures. After that, they’re washed and boiled just right—not too much or too little. They are then buried in the ground for four hours, boiled briefly again, and afterward dried either by fire or sunlight. The ones dried in the sun are worth the most; however, for every one picul (133 1/3 lbs.) I can cure that way, I can cure thirty piculs over the fire. Once properly cured, they can be stored in a dry place for two or three years without risk, but it's important to check them every few months, about four times a year, to ensure they don’t get damp.

“The Chinese, as before stated, consider biche de mer a very great luxury, believing that it wonderfully strengthens and nourishes the system, and renews the exhausted system of the immoderate voluptuary. The first quality commands a high price in Canton, being worth ninety dollars a picul; the second quality, seventy-five dollars; the third, fifty dollars; the fourth, thirty dollars; the fifth, twenty dollars; the sixth, twelve dollars; the seventh, eight dollars; and the eighth, four dollars; small cargoes, however, will often bring more in Manilla, Singapore, and Batavia.”

The Chinese, as previously mentioned, view biche de mer as a significant luxury, believing it greatly strengthens and nourishes the body, and revitalizes those who indulge excessively. The top quality can fetch a high price in Canton, worth ninety dollars per picul; the second quality sells for seventy-five dollars; the third for fifty dollars; the fourth for thirty dollars; the fifth for twenty dollars; the sixth for twelve dollars; the seventh for eight dollars; and the eighth for four dollars. However, small shipments can often sell for more in Manila, Singapore, and Batavia.

An agreement having been thus entered into, we proceeded immediately to land everything necessary for preparing the buildings and clearing the ground. A large flat space near the eastern shore of the bay was selected, where there was plenty of both wood and water, and within a convenient distance of the principal reefs on which the biche de mer was to be procured. We now all set to work in good earnest, and soon, to the great astonishment of the savages, had felled a sufficient number of trees for our purpose, getting them quickly in order for the framework of the houses, which in two or three days were so far under way that we could safely trust the rest of the work to the three men whom we intended to leave behind. These were John Carson, Alfred Harris, and ___ Peterson (all natives of London, I believe), who volunteered their services in this respect.

Once we reached an agreement, we immediately started bringing everything we needed to prepare the buildings and clear the land. We chose a large flat area near the eastern shore of the bay, where there was plenty of wood and water and not far from the main reefs where we would get the biche de mer. We all got to work right away, and soon, to the great surprise of the locals, we had cut down enough trees for our needs, quickly organizing them for the framework of the houses. In two or three days, we progressed enough that we could confidently leave the rest of the work to the three men we planned to leave behind: John Carson, Alfred Harris, and ___ Peterson (all natives of London, as far as I know), who volunteered to help.

By the last of the month we had everything in readiness for departure. We had agreed, however, to pay a formal visit of leave-taking to the village, and Too-wit insisted so pertinaciously upon our keeping the promise that we did not think it advisable to run the risk of offending him by a final refusal. I believe that not one of us had at this time the slightest suspicion of the good faith of the savages. They had uniformly behaved with the greatest decorum, aiding us with alacrity in our work, offering us their commodities, frequently without price, and never, in any instance, pilfering a single article, although the high value they set upon the goods we had with us was evident by the extravagant demonstrations of joy always manifested upon our making them a present. The women especially were most obliging in every respect, and, upon the whole, we should have been the most suspicious of human beings had we entertained a single thought of perfidy on the part of a people who treated us so well. A very short while sufficed to prove that this apparent kindness of disposition was only the result of a deeply laid plan for our destruction, and that the islanders for whom we entertained such inordinate feelings of esteem, were among the most barbarous, subtle, and bloodthirsty wretches that ever contaminated the face of the globe.

By the end of the month, we had everything ready to leave. However, we had agreed to pay a formal goodbye visit to the village, and Too-wit insisted so strongly that we keep our promise that we didn’t think it wise to risk offending him by refusing. I believe that none of us suspected at that time that the natives were not trustworthy. They had always behaved very politely, helping us eagerly with our work, offering us their goods, often for free, and never stealing even a single item, even though it was clear they valued our possessions highly, as shown by their exaggerated displays of joy whenever we gave them something. The women, in particular, were extremely helpful in every way, and overall, we would have been the most suspicious people on earth if we had even entertained thoughts of betrayal from a group that treated us so kindly. It didn’t take long to prove that this apparent friendliness was just part of a carefully laid plan for our destruction, and that the islanders we held in such high regard were actually among the most barbaric, cunning, and bloodthirsty wretches that ever plagued the earth.

It was on the first of February that we went on shore for the purpose of visiting the village. Although, as said before, we entertained not the slightest suspicion, still no proper precaution was neglected. Six men were left in the schooner, with instructions to permit none of the savages to approach the vessel during our absence, under any pretence whatever, and to remain constantly on deck. The boarding-nettings were up, the guns double-shotted with grape and canister, and the swivels loaded with canisters of musket-balls. She lay, with her anchor apeak, about a mile from the shore, and no canoe could approach her in any direction without being distinctly seen and exposed to the full fire of our swivels immediately.

It was on February 1st that we went ashore to visit the village. While we had no doubts at all, we still took all necessary precautions. Six men stayed on the schooner, given orders to prevent any of the locals from coming near the ship while we were gone, no matter the excuse, and to stay on deck at all times. The boarding netting was up, the cannons were loaded with grape and canister shot, and the swivels were loaded with canisters of musket balls. The ship was anchored about a mile from shore, and no canoe could approach her without being clearly seen and exposed to the full fire of our swivels right away.

The six men being left on board, our shore-party consisted of thirty-two persons in all. We were armed to the teeth, having with us muskets, pistols, and cutlasses; besides, each had a long kind of seaman’s knife, somewhat resembling the bowie knife now so much used throughout our western and southern country. A hundred of the black skin warriors met us at the landing for the purpose of accompanying us on our way. We noticed, however, with some surprise, that they were now entirely without arms; and, upon questioning Too-wit in relation to this circumstance, he merely answered that Mattee non we pa pa si—meaning that there was no need of arms where all were brothers. We took this in good part, and proceeded.

The six men left on board, our shore party had thirty-two people in total. We were heavily armed, carrying muskets, pistols, and cutlasses; each of us also had a long seaman’s knife, similar to the bowie knife that's common in our western and southern regions. A hundred black-skinned warriors met us at the landing to accompany us. However, we were surprised to see that they were completely unarmed. When we asked Too-wit about this, he simply said that Mattee non we pa pa si—meaning there was no need for weapons among brothers. We took this well and moved forward.

We had passed the spring and rivulet of which I before spoke, and were now entering upon a narrow gorge leading through the chain of soapstone hills among which the village was situated. This gorge was very rocky and uneven, so much so that it was with no little difficulty we scrambled through it on our first visit to Klock-klock. The whole length of the ravine might have been a mile and a half, or probably two miles. It wound in every possible direction through the hills (having apparently formed, at some remote period, the bed of a torrent), in no instance proceeding more than twenty yards without an abrupt turn. The sides of this dell would have averaged, I am sure, seventy or eighty feet in perpendicular altitude throughout the whole of their extent, and in some portions they arose to an astonishing height, overshadowing the pass so completely that but little of the light of day could penetrate. The general width was about forty feet, and occasionally it diminished so as not to allow the passage of more than five or six persons abreast. In short, there could be no place in the world better adapted for the consummation of an ambuscade, and it was no more than natural that we should look carefully to our arms as we entered upon it. When I now think of our egregious folly, the chief subject of astonishment seems to be, that we should have ever ventured, under any circumstances, so completely into the power of unknown savages as to permit them to march both before and behind us in our progress through this ravine. Yet such was the order we blindly took up, trusting foolishly to the force of our party, the unarmed condition of Too-wit and his men, the certain efficacy of our firearms (whose effect was yet a secret to the natives), and, more than all, to the long-sustained pretension of friendship kept up by these infamous wretches. Five or six of them went on before, as if to lead the way, ostentatiously busying themselves in removing the larger stones and rubbish from the path. Next came our own party. We walked closely together, taking care only to prevent separation. Behind followed the main body of the savages, observing unusual order and decorum.

We had passed the spring and stream I mentioned earlier and were now entering a narrow gorge that cut through the chain of soapstone hills where the village was located. This gorge was very rocky and uneven, making it quite difficult for us to scramble through it on our first visit to Klock-klock. The entire length of the ravine might have been a mile and a half, or maybe even two miles. It twisted in every direction through the hills, having likely formed, at some distant time, the bed of a rushing stream, turning abruptly every twenty yards. The sides of this dell averaged about seventy or eighty feet in height throughout their length, and in some places, they rose to astonishing heights, casting such deep shadows that only a little daylight could get through. The overall width was about forty feet, and at times, it narrowed enough that no more than five or six people could walk side by side. In short, there was no better place for an ambush, so it was only natural that we would carefully check our weapons as we entered. Looking back at our foolishness now, what astonishes me most is that we ever ventured so completely into the hands of unknown savages, allowing them to walk both in front of and behind us as we moved through this ravine. Yet that was exactly the risky formation we took, naïvely trusting in the strength of our group, the unarmed state of Too-wit and his men, the certain effectiveness of our firearms (which were still a mystery to the natives), and, above all, the long-maintained pretense of friendship by these treacherous individuals. Five or six of them went ahead, seemingly leading the way, busily removing larger stones and debris from the path. Next came our group, walking closely together and ensuring we didn't get separated. Following us was the main body of the savages, behaving unusually orderly and respectfully.

Dirk Peters, a man named Wilson Allen, and myself were on the right of our companions, examining, as we went along, the singular stratification of the precipice which overhung us. A fissure in the soft rock attracted our attention. It was about wide enough for one person to enter without squeezing, and extended back into the hill some eighteen or twenty feet in a straight course, sloping afterward to the left. The height of the opening, is far as we could see into it from the main gorge, was perhaps sixty or seventy feet. There were one or two stunted shrubs growing from the crevices, bearing a species of filbert which I felt some curiosity to examine, and pushed in briskly for that purpose, gathering five or six of the nuts at a grasp, and then hastily retreating. As I turned, I found that Peters and Allen had followed me. I desired them to go back, as there was not room for two persons to pass, saying they should have some of my nuts. They accordingly turned, and were scrambling back, Allen being close to the mouth of the fissure, when I was suddenly aware of a concussion resembling nothing I had ever before experienced, and which impressed me with a vague conception, if indeed I then thought of anything, that the whole foundations of the solid globe were suddenly rent asunder, and that the day of universal dissolution was at hand.

Dirk Peters, a guy named Wilson Allen, and I were to the right of our friends, checking out the unusual layering of the cliff above us as we walked. A crack in the soft rock caught our eye. It was wide enough for someone to enter comfortably and extended back into the hill about eighteen to twenty feet in a straight line, sloping to the left afterward. The height of the opening, as far as we could see from the main gorge, was probably around sixty or seventy feet. There were one or two stunted shrubs growing from the cracks, producing a type of filbert that I was curious to look at, so I headed in quickly to grab some, collecting five or six nuts in one go, then hastily retreating. As I turned, I realized Peters and Allen had followed me. I told them to go back since there wasn't enough room for two people to pass and said I would share some of my nuts. They turned around, scrambling back, with Allen being close to the entrance of the crack, when suddenly I felt a shock like nothing I had ever experienced before. It made me think, if I even thought about anything at that moment, that the very foundations of the Earth were being torn apart and that the end of the world was near.

CHAPTER 21

As soon as I could collect my scattered senses, I found myself nearly suffocated, and grovelling in utter darkness among a quantity of loose earth, which was also falling upon me heavily in every direction, threatening to bury me entirely. Horribly alarmed at this idea, I struggled to gain my feet, and at last succeeded. I then remained motionless for some moments, endeavouring to conceive what had happened to me, and where I was. Presently I heard a deep groan just at my ear, and afterward the smothered voice of Peters calling to me for aid in the name of God. I scrambled one or two paces forward, when I fell directly over the head and shoulders of my companion, who, I soon discovered, was buried in a loose mass of earth as far as his middle, and struggling desperately to free himself from the pressure. I tore the dirt from around him with all the energy I could command, and at length succeeded in getting him out.

As soon as I managed to gather my scattered thoughts, I realized I was almost suffocated and lying in complete darkness under a pile of loose dirt, which was also falling heavily all around me, threatening to completely bury me. Terrified by this idea, I fought to get on my feet and finally managed to do so. I then stood still for a few moments, trying to figure out what had happened to me and where I was. Soon, I heard a deep groan right next to me, followed by Peters' muffled voice calling for help in the name of God. I stumbled a couple of steps forward and fell right over my companion, who was buried in loose dirt up to his waist and desperately trying to free himself from the weight. I dug the dirt away from him with all the strength I could muster, and eventually succeeded in getting him out.

As soon as we sufficiently recovered from our fright and surprise to be capable of conversing rationally, we both came to the conclusion that the walls of the fissure in which we had ventured had, by some convulsion of nature, or probably from their own weight, caved in overhead, and that we were consequently lost for ever, being thus entombed alive. For a long time we gave up supinely to the most intense agony and despair, such as cannot be adequately imagined by those who have never been in a similar position. I firmly believed that no incident ever occurring in the course of human events is more adapted to inspire the supremeness of mental and bodily distress than a case like our own, of living inhumation. The blackness of darkness which envelops the victim, the terrific oppression of lungs, the stifling fumes from the damp earth, unite with the ghastly considerations that we are beyond the remotest confines of hope, and that such is the allotted portion of the dead, to carry into the human heart a degree of appalling awe and horror not to be tolerated—never to be conceived.

As soon as we had calmed down from our shock and surprise enough to talk rationally, we both realized that the walls of the crack we had entered had, due to some natural upheaval or maybe just their own weight, collapsed above us, leaving us lost forever, trapped alive. For a long time, we surrendered to the most intense agony and despair, a feeling that can't be fully understood by anyone who hasn’t experienced something similar. I truly believed that nothing in human experience could inspire such overwhelming mental and physical distress as our situation of being buried alive. The pitch-black darkness surrounding us, the crushing pressure on our lungs, the suffocating smell of damp earth, all combined with the horrifying thought that we were beyond any hope, that this was the fate meant for the dead, created a level of dreadful fear and horror that is unbearable—something that can hardly be imagined.

At length Peters proposed that we should endeavour to ascertain precisely the extent of our calamity, and grope about our prison; it being barely possible, he observed, that some opening might yet be left us for escape. I caught eagerly at this hope, and, arousing myself to exertion, attempted to force my way through the loose earth. Hardly had I advanced a single step before a glimmer of light became perceptible, enough to convince me that, at all events, we should not immediately perish for want of air. We now took some degree of heart, and encouraged each other to hope for the best. Having scrambled over a bank of rubbish which impeded our farther progress in the direction of the light, we found less difficulty in advancing and also experienced some relief from the excessive oppression of lungs which had tormented us. Presently we were enabled to obtain a glimpse of the objects around, and discovered that we were near the extremity of the straight portion of the fissure, where it made a turn to the left. A few struggles more, and we reached the bend, when to our inexpressible joy, there appeared a long seam or crack extending upward a vast distance, generally at an angle of about forty-five degrees, although sometimes much more precipitous. We could not see through the whole extent of this opening; but, as a good deal of light came down it, we had little doubt of finding at the top of it (if we could by any means reach the top) a clear passage into the open air.

Finally, Peters suggested we try to figure out exactly how bad our situation was and to search our prison; he noted that it was at least possible there might still be a way out. I eagerly clung to this hope, and pushing myself to take action, I tried to dig through the loose earth. As soon as I made a little progress, I noticed a glimmer of light, enough to reassure me that, for now, we wouldn't suffocate from lack of air. We began to feel a bit more optimistic and encouraged each other to stay hopeful. After climbing over a mound of debris that was blocking our way toward the light, it became easier to advance, and we also felt some relief from the heavy pressure on our lungs that had been bothering us. Soon we could see around us a little better and realized we were near the end of the straight section of the crack, where it turned to the left. After a few more struggles, we reached the bend, and to our immense joy, we spotted a long seam or crack extending upward at a steep angle, generally about forty-five degrees, although at times much steeper. We couldn't see the entire length of this opening, but since a lot of light was coming through it, we felt confident that if we could manage to reach the top, there would be a clear way into the open air.

I now called to mind that three of us had entered the fissure from the main gorge, and that our companion, Allen, was still missing; we determined at once to retrace our steps and look for him. After a long search, and much danger from the farther caving in of the earth above us, Peters at length cried out to me that he had hold of our companion’s foot, and that his whole body was deeply buried beneath the rubbish beyond the possibility of extricating him. I soon found that what he said was too true, and that, of course, life had been long extinct. With sorrowful hearts, therefore, we left the corpse to its fate, and again made our way to the bend.

I suddenly remembered that three of us had entered the crack from the main gorge, and our friend, Allen, was still missing. We immediately decided to go back and look for him. After a long search and facing a lot of danger from the ground collapsing above us, Peters eventually shouted that he had found Allen’s foot and that his whole body was heavily buried under the debris, making it impossible to get him out. I soon realized he was right, and, sadly, Allen's life had long since ended. With heavy hearts, we left his body behind and made our way back to the bend.

The breadth of the seam was barely sufficient to admit us, and, after one or two ineffectual efforts at getting up, we began once more to despair. I have before said that the chain of hills through which ran the main gorge was composed of a species of soft rock resembling soapstone. The sides of the cleft we were now attempting to ascend were of the same material, and so excessively slippery, being wet, that we could get but little foothold upon them even in their least precipitous parts; in some places, where the ascent was nearly perpendicular, the difficulty was, of course, much aggravated; and, indeed, for some time we thought insurmountable. We took courage, however, from despair, and what, by dint of cutting steps in the soft stone with our bowie knives, and swinging at the risk of our lives, to small projecting points of a harder species of slaty rock which now and then protruded from the general mass, we at length reached a natural platform, from which was perceptible a patch of blue sky, at the extremity of a thickly-wooded ravine. Looking back now, with somewhat more leisure, at the passage through which we had thus far proceeded, we clearly saw from the appearance of its sides, that it was of late formation, and we concluded that the concussion, whatever it was, which had so unexpectedly overwhelmed us, had also, at the same moment, laid open this path for escape. Being quite exhausted with exertion, and indeed, so weak that we were scarcely able to stand or articulate, Peters now proposed that we should endeavour to bring our companions to the rescue by firing the pistols which still remained in our girdles—the muskets as well as cutlasses had been lost among the loose earth at the bottom of the chasm. Subsequent events proved that, had we fired, we should have sorely repented it, but luckily a half suspicion of foul play had by this time arisen in my mind, and we forbore to let the savages know of our whereabouts.

The width of the gap was barely enough for us to fit through, and after a couple of failed attempts to climb up, we started to lose hope again. I've mentioned before that the range of hills through which the main gorge ran was made of a kind of soft rock that looked like soapstone. The walls of the cleft we were trying to climb were made of the same material and were so incredibly slippery from the wetness that we struggled to find any grip, even in the least steep areas. In spots where the climb was almost vertical, it was obviously much tougher and, for a while, we thought it was impossible. However, we found some courage in our desperation and, by carving steps in the soft stone with our bowie knives and risking our lives while swinging to small outcrops of harder slate rock that occasionally jutted out from the surrounding mass, we finally reached a natural ledge from which we could see a patch of blue sky at the end of a heavily wooded ravine. Looking back now, with a bit more time, at the path we had taken, we clearly noticed from the way the walls looked that it was newly formed. We concluded that whatever sudden event had overwhelmed us had also opened up this escape route. Completely worn out and so weak we could barely stand or speak, Peters suggested that we should try to signal for help by firing the pistols still in our belts—the muskets and cutlasses had been lost in the loose dirt at the bottom of the chasm. Later, we realized that if we had fired, we would have seriously regretted it, but fortunately I had developed some suspicion of foul play by then, and we decided not to let the savages know where we were.

After having reposed for about an hour, we pushed on slowly up the ravine, and had gone no great way before we heard a succession of tremendous yells. At length we reached what might be called the surface of the ground; for our path hitherto, since leaving the platform, had lain beneath an archway of high rock and foliage, at a vast distance overhead. With great caution we stole to a narrow opening, through which we had a clear sight of the surrounding country, when the whole dreadful secret of the concussion broke upon us in one moment and at one view.

After resting for about an hour, we continued slowly up the ravine and hadn't gone far before we heard a series of loud yells. Eventually, we reached what could be called the surface of the ground; our path up until now, since leaving the platform, had been under a high archway of rock and vegetation far above us. With great care, we crept to a narrow opening, through which we could see the surrounding area clearly, and in that moment, the entire horrifying truth of the commotion hit us all at once.

The spot from which we looked was not far from the summit of the highest peak in the range of the soapstone hills. The gorge in which our party of thirty-two had entered ran within fifty feet to the left of us. But, for at least one hundred yards, the channel or bed of this gorge was entirely filled up with the chaotic ruins of more than a million tons of earth and stone that had been artificially tumbled within it. The means by which the vast mass had been precipitated were not more simple than evident, for sure traces of the murderous work were yet remaining. In several spots along the top of the eastern side of the gorge (we were now on the western) might be seen stakes of wood driven into the earth. In these spots the earth had not given way, but throughout the whole extent of the face of the precipice from which the mass had fallen, it was clear, from marks left in the soil resembling those made by the drill of the rock blaster, that stakes similar to those we saw standing had been inserted, at not more than a yard apart, for the length of perhaps three hundred feet, and ranging at about ten feet back from the edge of the gulf. Strong cords of grape vine were attached to the stakes still remaining on the hill, and it was evident that such cords had also been attached to each of the other stakes. I have already spoken of the singular stratification of these soapstone hills; and the description just given of the narrow and deep fissure through which we effected our escape from inhumation will afford a further conception of its nature. This was such that almost every natural convulsion would be sure to split the soil into perpendicular layers or ridges running parallel with one another, and a very moderate exertion of art would be sufficient for effecting the same purpose. Of this stratification the savages had availed themselves to accomplish their treacherous ends. There can be no doubt that, by the continuous line of stakes, a partial rupture of the soil had been brought about probably to the depth of one or two feet, when by means of a savage pulling at the end of each of the cords (these cords being attached to the tops of the stakes, and extending back from the edge of the cliff), a vast leverage power was obtained, capable of hurling the whole face of the hill, upon a given signal, into the bosom of the abyss below. The fate of our poor companions was no longer a matter of uncertainty. We alone had escaped from the tempest of that overwhelming destruction. We were the only living white men upon the island.

The spot where we looked was not far from the summit of the highest peak in the soapstone hills. The gorge our group of thirty-two had entered ran about fifty feet to our left. However, for at least one hundred yards, the channel or bed of this gorge was completely filled with the chaotic ruins of over a million tons of earth and stone that had been deliberately dumped there. The method used to cause such a massive collapse was as clear as it was straightforward, as there were obvious signs of the deadly work that had been done. In several places along the top of the eastern side of the gorge (we were now on the western side), we could see wooden stakes driven into the ground. In those spots, the earth hadn’t given way, but across the entire face of the cliff from which the mass had fallen, it was evident from markings in the soil, similar to those left by a rock drill, that stakes like those still standing had been inserted, no more than a yard apart, for about three hundred feet and set back roughly ten feet from the edge of the drop. Strong grape vine cords were attached to the stakes still standing on the hill, and it was clear that these cords had also been tied to each of the other stakes. I’ve already mentioned the unique layering of these soapstone hills; the description I just gave of the narrow and deep fissure through which we managed to escape from being buried will give you a clearer idea of its nature. It was such that almost every natural disturbance would likely split the soil into vertical layers or ridges that ran parallel to each other, and a little effort would be enough to achieve the same outcome. The locals had used this stratification to carry out their treacherous plans. There’s no doubt that, with the continuous line of stakes, a partial rupture of the soil had been created, probably to a depth of one or two feet, when, by a savage pulling on the end of each cord (these cords connected to the tops of the stakes and extending back from the cliff’s edge), immense leverage power was gained, capable of sending the entire face of the hill plummeting into the abyss below at a given signal. The fate of our poor companions was no longer in doubt. We alone had escaped the storm of that overwhelming destruction. We were the only living white men on the island.

CHAPTER 22

Our situation, as it now appeared, was scarcely less dreadful than when we had conceived ourselves entombed forever. We saw before us no prospect but that of being put to death by the savages, or of dragging out a miserable existence in captivity among them. We might, to be sure, conceal ourselves for a time from their observation among the fastnesses of the hills, and, as a final resort, in the chasm from which we had just issued; but we must either perish in the long polar winter through cold and famine, or be ultimately discovered in our efforts to obtain relief.

Our situation, as it now seemed, was almost as terrifying as when we thought we were trapped forever. We could only see the possibility of being killed by the savages or living a miserable life in captivity with them. Sure, we could hide for a while from their sight in the hills, or, as a last resort, in the chasm we had just come from; but we would either die in the long, harsh winter from the cold and starvation or eventually be found while trying to get help.

The whole country around us seemed to be swarming with savages, crowds of whom, we now perceived, had come over from the islands to the southward on flat rafts, doubtless with a view of lending their aid in the capture and plunder of the Jane. The vessel still lay calmly at anchor in the bay, those on board being apparently quite unconscious of any danger awaiting them. How we longed at that moment to be with them! either to aid in effecting their escape, or to perish with them in attempting a defence. We saw no chance even of warning them of their danger without bringing immediate destruction upon our own heads, with but a remote hope of benefit to them. A pistol fired might suffice to apprise them that something wrong had occurred; but the report could not possibly inform them that their only prospect of safety lay in getting out of the harbour forthwith—it could not tell them that no principles of honour now bound them to remain, that their companions were no longer among the living. Upon hearing the discharge they could not be more thoroughly prepared to meet the foe, who were now getting ready to attack, than they already were, and always had been. No good, therefore, and infinite harm, would result from our firing, and after mature deliberation, we forbore.

The entire area around us felt like it was filled with savages, many of whom we realized had come from the islands to the south on flat rafts, likely intending to help seize and loot the Jane. The ship was still peacefully anchored in the bay, and those on board seemed completely unaware of the impending danger. In that moment, we desperately wished to be with them—either to help them escape or to face death alongside them while trying to defend the ship. We saw no way to warn them without risking our own lives with only a slim chance of actually helping them. A gunshot might alert them that something was wrong, but it wouldn’t convey that their best chance for safety was to leave the harbor immediately—it wouldn’t let them know that no code of honor required them to stay and that their companions were no longer alive. Hearing the shot wouldn’t prepare them any better to face the attackers who were preparing to strike; they were already as ready as they could be. So, firing wouldn’t do any good and could cause great harm. After careful consideration, we decided not to shoot.

Our next thought was to attempt to rush toward the vessel, to seize one of the four canoes which lay at the head of the bay, and endeavour to force a passage on board. But the utter impossibility of succeeding in this desperate task soon became evident. The country, as I said before, was literally swarming with the natives, skulking among the bushes and recesses of the hills, so as not to be observed from the schooner. In our immediate vicinity especially, and blockading the sole path by which we could hope to attain the shore at the proper point were stationed the whole party of the black skin warriors, with Too-wit at their head, and apparently only waiting for some re-enforcement to commence his onset upon the Jane. The canoes, too, which lay at the head of the bay, were manned with savages, unarmed, it is true, but who undoubtedly had arms within reach. We were forced, therefore, however unwillingly, to remain in our place of concealment, mere spectators of the conflict which presently ensued.

Our next thought was to try to rush toward the ship, grab one of the four canoes at the head of the bay, and make an attempt to get on board. But it quickly became clear that this desperate task was impossible. The area, as I mentioned before, was crawling with natives hiding among the bushes and hills to avoid being seen from the schooner. Right around us, blocking the only path we could use to reach the shore at the right spot, was the entire group of black-skinned warriors, led by Too-wit, who seemed to be just waiting for some reinforcements to launch an attack on the Jane. The canoes at the head of the bay were also occupied by savages who, although unarmed, undoubtedly had weapons close by. So, whether we liked it or not, we had to stay hidden and just watch the conflict that was about to happen.

In about half an hour we saw some sixty or seventy rafts, or flatboats, without riggers, filled with savages, and coming round the southern bight of the harbor. They appeared to have no arms except short clubs, and stones which lay in the bottom of the rafts. Immediately afterward another detachment, still larger, appeared in an opposite direction, and with similar weapons. The four canoes, too, were now quickly filled with natives, starting up from the bushes at the head of the bay, and put off swiftly to join the other parties. Thus, in less time than I have taken to tell it, and as if by magic, the Jane saw herself surrounded by an immense multitude of desperadoes evidently bent upon capturing her at all hazards.

In about half an hour, we saw around sixty or seventy rafts or flatboats without sails, filled with natives, coming around the southern edge of the harbor. They seemed to be armed only with short clubs and stones that were lying in the bottom of the rafts. Shortly after, another even larger group appeared from the opposite direction, carrying similar weapons. The four canoes also quickly filled up with locals, who sprang up from the bushes at the head of the bay and paddled off quickly to join the other groups. Just like that, in less time than it takes to say it, the Jane found herself surrounded by a massive crowd of desperate individuals clearly intent on capturing her at all costs.

That they would succeed in so doing could not be doubted for an instant. The six men left in the vessel, however resolutely they might engage in her defence, were altogether unequal to the proper management of the guns, or in any manner to sustain a contest at such odds. I could hardly imagine that they would make resistance at all, but in this was deceived; for presently I saw them get springs upon the cable, and bring the vessel’s starboard broadside to bear upon the canoes, which by this time were within pistol range, the rafts being nearly a quarter of a mile to windward. Owing to some cause unknown, but most probably to the agitation of our poor friends at seeing themselves in so hopeless a situation, the discharge was an entire failure. Not a canoe was hit or a single savage injured, the shots striking short and ricocheting over their heads. The only effect produced upon them was astonishment at the unexpected report and smoke, which was so excessive that for some moments I almost thought they would abandon their design entirely, and return to the shore. And this they would most likely have done had our men followed up their broadside by a discharge of small arms, in which, as the canoes were now so near at hand, they could not have failed in doing some execution, sufficient, at least, to deter this party from a farther advance, until they could have given the rafts also a broadside. But, in place of this, they left the canoe party to recover from their panic, and, by looking about them, to see that no injury had been sustained, while they flew to the larboard to get ready for the rafts.

That they would be successful in this seemed indisputable. The six men left on the vessel, no matter how determined they were to defend it, were completely unprepared to properly handle the guns or to sustain a fight with odds like this. I could hardly believe they would even try to resist, but I was mistaken. Soon enough, I saw them pull in the cable and turn the vessel's starboard side to aim at the canoes, which were now within pistol range, while the rafts were nearly a quarter of a mile upwind. For reasons unknown, but likely due to our poor friends' panic at being in such a dire situation, the shot was a total miss. Not one canoe was hit, and not a single savage was harmed; the shots fell short and bounced over their heads. The only effect on them was surprise at the unexpected sound and smoke, which was so intense that for a moment, I thought they might abandon their plan and head back to shore. They probably would have done that if our men had followed up the broadside with small arms fire, which, with the canoes so nearby, would have certainly caused some damage, enough at least to prevent the party from advancing any further until they could also give the rafts a broadside. But instead, they let the canoe party recover from their shock and start to realize that they hadn’t taken any damage, while they rushed to the left side to prepare for the rafts.

The discharge to larboard produced the most terrible effect. The star and double-headed shot of the large guns cut seven or eight of the rafts completely asunder, and killed, perhaps, thirty or forty of the savages outright, while a hundred of them, at least, were thrown into the water, the most of them dreadfully wounded. The remainder, frightened out of their senses, commenced at once a precipitate retreat, not even waiting to pick up their maimed companions, who were swimming about in every direction, screaming and yelling for aid. This great success, however, came too late for the salvation of our devoted people. The canoe party were already on board the schooner to the number of more than a hundred and fifty, the most of them having succeeded in scrambling up the chains and over the boarding-netting even before the matches had been applied to the larboard guns. Nothing now could withstand their brute rage. Our men were borne down at once, overwhelmed, trodden under foot, and absolutely torn to pieces in an instant.

The discharge to the left side had a devastating impact. The blasts from the large guns completely shredded seven or eight of the rafts and killed around thirty or forty of the natives instantly, while at least a hundred of them were thrown into the water, most of them seriously injured. The rest, utterly terrified, immediately began a frantic retreat, not even stopping to help their wounded companions, who were struggling in the water, screaming for help. Unfortunately, this great victory came too late to save our dedicated people. The canoe party had already boarded the schooner, numbering over a hundred and fifty, with most managing to scramble up the chains and over the boarding netting even before the matches were lit for the guns on the left side. At this point, nothing could contain their sheer fury. Our men were quickly overwhelmed, trampled underfoot, and brutally torn to pieces in an instant.

Seeing this, the savages on the rafts got the better of their fears, and came up in shoals to the plunder. In five minutes the Jane was a pitiable scene indeed of havoc and tumultuous outrage. The decks were split open and ripped up; the cordage, sails, and everything movable on deck demolished as if by magic, while, by dint of pushing at the stern, towing with the canoes, and hauling at the sides, as they swam in thousands around the vessel, the wretches finally forced her on shore (the cable having been slipped), and delivered her over to the good offices of Too-wit, who, during the whole of the engagement, had maintained, like a skilful general, his post of security and reconnaissance among the hills, but, now that the victory was completed to his satisfaction, condescended to scamper down with his warriors of the black skin, and become a partaker in the spoils.

Seeing this, the savages on the rafts overcame their fear and rushed to loot. In just five minutes, the Jane was a heartbreaking sight of destruction and chaos. The decks were torn apart and ripped up; the ropes, sails, and everything removable on deck were destroyed as if by magic. By pushing at the stern, towing with the canoes, and hauling at the sides, thousands of them swam around the ship, finally forcing her ashore (the cable having been slipped) and handing her over to Too-wit. Throughout the ordeal, he had acted like a skilled general, keeping a safe lookout among the hills, but now that the victory was secured to his satisfaction, he deigned to run down with his dark-skinned warriors and join in the spoils.

Too-wit’s descent left us at liberty to quit our hiding place and reconnoitre the hill in the vicinity of the chasm. At about fifty yards from the mouth of it we saw a small spring of water, at which we slaked the burning thirst that now consumed us. Not far from the spring we discovered several of the filbert-bushes which I mentioned before. Upon tasting the nuts we found them palatable, and very nearly resembling in flavour the common English filbert. We collected our hats full immediately, deposited them within the ravine, and returned for more. While we were busily employed in gathering these, a rustling in the bushes alarmed us, and we were upon the point of stealing back to our covert, when a large black bird of the bittern species strugglingly and slowly arose above the shrubs. I was so much startled that I could do nothing, but Peters had sufficient presence of mind to run up to it before it could make its escape, and seize it by the neck. Its struggles and screams were tremendous, and we had thoughts of letting it go, lest the noise should alarm some of the savages who might be still lurking in the neighbourhood. A stab with a bowie knife, however, at length brought it to the ground, and we dragged it into the ravine, congratulating ourselves that, at all events, we had thus obtained a supply of food enough to last us for a week.

Too-wit's descent gave us the chance to leave our hiding spot and explore the hill near the chasm. About fifty yards from the entrance, we found a small spring of water, where we quenched the intense thirst that was overwhelming us. Close to the spring, we discovered several filbert bushes I mentioned earlier. When we tasted the nuts, we found them tasty and very similar in flavor to the common English filbert. We quickly filled our hats with them, set them down in the ravine, and went back for more. While we were busy gathering nuts, a rustling in the bushes startled us, and we were about to sneak back to our hiding place when a large black bird, resembling a bittern, struggled and flew slowly above the shrubs. I was so shocked that I couldn't move, but Peters had the presence of mind to run up to it before it could escape and grabbed it by the neck. Its flapping and screaming were loud, and we considered letting it go in case the noise might alert some of the savages still hiding nearby. However, a stab with a bowie knife finally brought it down, and we dragged it into the ravine, pleased that we had secured enough food to last us a week.

We now went out again to look about us, and ventured a considerable distance down the southern declivity of the hill, but met with nothing else which could serve us for food. We therefore collected a quantity of dry wood and returned, seeing one or two large parties of the natives on their way to the village, laden with the plunder of the vessel, and who, we were apprehensive, might discover us in passing beneath the hill.

We went outside again to explore and ventured quite a way down the southern side of the hill, but didn’t find anything else we could eat. So, we gathered a bunch of dry wood and headed back, noticing a few large groups of locals on their way to the village, carrying goods taken from the ship, and we worried they might spot us as they passed under the hill.

Our next care was to render our place of concealment as secure as possible, and with this object, we arranged some brushwood over the aperture which I have before spoken of as the one through which we saw the patch of blue sky, on reaching the platform from the interior of the chasm. We left only a very small opening just wide enough to admit of our seeing the bay, without the risk of being discovered from below. Having done this, we congratulated ourselves upon the security of the position; for we were now completely excluded from observation, as long as we chose to remain within the ravine itself, and not venture out upon the hill, We could perceive no traces of the savages having ever been within this hollow; but, indeed, when we came to reflect upon the probability that the fissure through which we attained it had been only just now created by the fall of the cliff opposite, and that no other way of attaining it could be perceived, we were not so much rejoiced at the thought of being secure from molestation as fearful lest there should be absolutely no means left us for descent. We resolved to explore the summit of the hill thoroughly, when a good opportunity should offer. In the meantime we watched the motions of the savages through our loophole.

Our next concern was to make our hiding place as safe as possible. To achieve this, we covered the opening I mentioned before—the one through which we could see a patch of blue sky—using some brushwood. We left only a tiny gap just wide enough for us to see the bay without the risk of being spotted from below. Once we did this, we felt proud of our secure position; we were completely out of sight as long as we stayed within the ravine and didn’t venture out onto the hill. We saw no evidence that the savages had ever been in this hollow; however, reflecting on the fact that the fissure we used to reach it had likely just been created by the recent fall of the cliff across from us and that there seemed to be no other way to access it, we weren’t as relieved about our safety as we were worried there might be no way for us to get down. We decided to thoroughly explore the top of the hill when a good opportunity arose. In the meantime, we kept an eye on the movements of the savages through our makeshift lookout.

They had already made a complete wreck of the vessel, and were now preparing to set her on fire. In a little while we saw the smoke ascending in huge volumes from her main hatchway, and, shortly afterward, a dense mass of flame burst up from the forecastle. The rigging, masts and what remained of the sails caught immediately, and the fire spread rapidly along the decks. Still a great many of the savages retained their stations about her, hammering with large stones, axes, and cannon balls at the bolts and other iron and copper work. On the beach, and in canoes and rafts, there were not less, altogether, in the immediate vicinity of the schooner, than ten thousand natives, besides the shoals of them who, laden with booty, were making their way inland and over to the neighbouring islands. We now anticipated a catastrophe, and were not disappointed. First of all there came a smart shock (which we felt as distinctly where we were as if we had been slightly galvanized), but unattended with any visible signs of an explosion. The savages were evidently startled, and paused for an instant from their labours and yellings. They were upon the point of recommencing, when suddenly a mass of smoke puffed up from the decks, resembling a black and heavy thundercloud—then, as if from its bowels, arose a tall stream of vivid fire to the height, apparently, of a quarter of a mile—then there came a sudden circular expansion of the flame—then the whole atmosphere was magically crowded, in a single instant, with a wild chaos of wood, and metal, and human limbs—and, lastly, came the concussion in its fullest fury, which hurled us impetuously from our feet, while the hills echoed and re-echoed the tumult, and a dense shower of the minutest fragments of the ruins tumbled headlong in every direction around us.

They had completely demolished the ship and were now getting ready to set it on fire. Before long, we saw thick smoke rising from the main hatch, and soon after, a massive blaze erupted from the forecastle. The rigging, masts, and whatever was left of the sails ignited instantly, and the fire spread quickly across the decks. Still, many of the natives stayed around her, hitting the bolts and other iron and copper fittings with big stones, axes, and cannonballs. On the beach, in canoes, and on rafts, there were at least ten thousand natives in the immediate vicinity of the schooner, not counting the crowds who, loaded with loot, were heading inland and to the nearby islands. We braced ourselves for a disaster, and we weren't let down. First, there was a sharp shock (which we felt as if we’d been slightly shocked), but there were no visible signs of an explosion. The natives were clearly startled and paused for a moment from their work and shouting. Just as they were about to resume, a cloud of smoke suddenly billowed up from the decks, looking like a dark, heavy thundercloud—then, as if it were coming from within, a tall column of bright fire shot up, seemingly a quarter of a mile high—then there was a sudden circular expansion of the flames—next, the whole atmosphere was instantly filled with a wild chaos of wood, metal, and human limbs—and finally, we experienced the full force of the blast, which knocked us off our feet, while the hills echoed the chaos, and a dense shower of tiny fragments from the wreckage fell all around us.

The havoc among the savages far exceeded our utmost expectation, and they had now, indeed, reaped the full and perfect fruits of their treachery. Perhaps a thousand perished by the explosion, while at least an equal number were desperately mangled. The whole surface of the bay was literally strewn with the struggling and drowning wretches, and on shore matters were even worse. They seemed utterly appalled by the suddenness and completeness of their discomfiture, and made no efforts at assisting one another. At length we observed a total change in their demeanour. From absolute stupor, they appeared to be, all at once, aroused to the highest pitch of excitement, and rushed wildly about, going to and from a certain point on the beach, with the strangest expressions of mingled horror, rage, and intense curiosity depicted on their countenances, and shouting, at the top of their voices, “Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!”

The chaos among the savages was far beyond what we ever expected, and they had truly faced the full consequences of their betrayal. Perhaps a thousand were killed in the explosion, and at least as many were severely injured. The entire surface of the bay was literally covered with struggling and drowning victims, and the situation on shore was even worse. They seemed completely shocked by the suddenness and totality of their defeat, making no effort to help one another. Eventually, we noticed a dramatic change in their behavior. From complete shock, they suddenly seemed to be filled with intense excitement, rushing around wildly to and from a specific spot on the beach, their faces displaying a bizarre mix of horror, rage, and intense curiosity, shouting at the top of their lungs, “Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!”

Presently we saw a large body go off into the hills, whence they returned in a short time, carrying stakes of wood. These they brought to the station where the crowd was the thickest, which now separated so as to afford us a view of the object of all this excitement. We perceived something white lying upon the ground, but could not immediately make out what it was. At length we saw that it was the carcass of the strange animal with the scarlet teeth and claws which the schooner had picked up at sea on the eighteenth of January. Captain Guy had had the body preserved for the purpose of stuffing the skin and taking it to England. I remember he had given some directions about it just before our making the island, and it had been brought into the cabin and stowed away in one of the lockers. It had now been thrown on shore by the explosion; but why it had occasioned so much concern among the savages was more than we could comprehend. Although they crowded around the carcass at a little distance, none of them seemed willing to approach it closely. By-and-by the men with the stakes drove them in a circle around it, and no sooner was this arrangement completed, than the whole of the vast assemblage rushed into the interior of the island, with loud screams of “Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!”

Right now, we saw a large group head into the hills, and they quickly returned, carrying wooden stakes. They brought these to the spot where the crowd was thickest, which parted to give us a view of what was causing all this excitement. We noticed something white on the ground, but we couldn't immediately tell what it was. Eventually, we realized it was the carcass of the strange animal with the red teeth and claws that the schooner had picked up at sea on January 18th. Captain Guy had kept the body to stuff the skin and take it to England. I remember he had given some instructions about it just before we reached the island, and it had been brought into the cabin and stored in one of the lockers. Now it had been washed ashore by the explosion; but we couldn't understand why it had caused so much concern among the locals. Although they gathered around the carcass from a distance, none of them seemed willing to get too close. Soon, the men with the stakes drove them into a circle around it, and as soon as that was done, the whole crowd rushed into the interior of the island, shouting “Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!”

CHAPTER 23

During the six or seven days immediately following we remained in our hiding-place upon the hill, going out only occasionally, and then with the greatest precaution, for water and filberts. We had made a kind of penthouse on the platform, furnishing it with a bed of dry leaves, and placing in it three large flat stones, which served us for both fireplace and table. We kindled a fire without difficulty by rubbing two pieces of dry wood together, the one soft, the other hard. The bird we had taken in such good season proved excellent eating, although somewhat tough. It was not an oceanic fowl, but a species of bittern, with jet black and grizzly plumage, and diminutive wings in proportion to its bulk. We afterward saw three of the same kind in the vicinity of the ravine, apparently seeking for the one we had captured; but, as they never alighted, we had no opportunity of catching them.

For six or seven days after that, we stayed hidden on the hill, only going out occasionally and with the utmost caution, mainly for water and hazelnuts. We built a sort of shelter on the platform, making a bed out of dry leaves and using three large flat stones as both a fireplace and a table. We easily started a fire by rubbing two pieces of dry wood together, one soft and the other hard. The bird we caught at just the right time turned out to be delicious, though a bit tough. It wasn't a sea bird, but a type of bittern, with jet black and grayish feathers, and small wings compared to its size. Later, we spotted three others of the same kind near the ravine, seemingly searching for the one we had caught, but since they never landed, we couldn't catch them.

As long as this fowl lasted we suffered nothing from our situation, but it was now entirely consumed, and it became absolutely necessary that we should look out for provision. The filberts would not satisfy the cravings of hunger, afflicting us, too, with severe gripings of the bowels, and, if freely indulged in, with violent headache. We had seen several large tortoises near the seashore to the eastward of the hill, and perceived they might be easily taken, if we could get at them without the observation of the natives. It was resolved, therefore, to make an attempt at descending.

As long as we had that bird, we didn’t suffer much from our situation, but now it was completely gone, and we urgently needed to find food. The filberts couldn’t satisfy our hunger, and they also caused us serious stomach pains, and if we overindulged, they led to severe headaches. We had spotted several large tortoises near the beach to the east of the hill and realized they could be easily caught if we could sneak up on them without the natives seeing us. So, we decided to try climbing down.

We commenced by going down the southern declivity, which seemed to offer the fewest difficulties, but had not proceeded a hundred yards before (as we had anticipated from appearances on the hilltop) our progress was entirely arrested by a branch of the gorge in which our companions had perished. We now passed along the edge of this for about a quarter of a mile, when we were again stopped by a precipice of immense depth, and, not being able to make our way along the brink of it, we were forced to retrace our steps by the main ravine.

We started by heading down the southern slope, which looked like it would have the fewest challenges. However, within less than a hundred yards, just as we had expected from our view at the top of the hill, our progress was completely halted by a branch of the gorge where our companions had lost their lives. We then walked along the edge of this gorge for about a quarter of a mile, but we were stopped again by a massive cliff, and since we couldn’t continue along its edge, we had no choice but to go back through the main ravine.

We now pushed over to the eastward, but with precisely similar fortune. After an hour’s scramble, at the risk of breaking our necks, we discovered that we had merely descended into a vast pit of black granite, with fine dust at the bottom, and whence the only egress was by the rugged path in which we had come down. Toiling again up this path, we now tried the northern edge of the hill. Here we were obliged to use the greatest possible caution in our maneuvers, as the least indiscretion would expose us to the full view of the savages in the village. We crawled along, therefore, on our hands and knees, and, occasionally, were even forced to throw ourselves at full length, dragging our bodies along by means of the shrubbery. In this careful manner we had proceeded but a little way, when we arrived at a chasm far deeper than any we had yet seen, and leading directly into the main gorge. Thus our fears were fully confirmed, and we found ourselves cut off entirely from access to the world below. Thoroughly exhausted by our exertions, we made the best of our way back to the platform, and throwing ourselves upon the bed of leaves, slept sweetly and soundly for some hours.

We now moved toward the east, but our luck was exactly the same. After an hour of scrambling, risking injury, we realized we had just descended into a huge pit of black granite, with fine dust at the bottom, and the only way out was the rough path we had come down. Climbing back up this path, we decided to try the northern edge of the hill. Here, we had to be extremely careful because even the slightest mistake could expose us to the savages in the village. So, we crawled on our hands and knees, and at times, we even had to lie flat, dragging ourselves along the bushes. We had barely gone a little way when we came across a chasm deeper than any we had seen before, leading directly into the main gorge. Our fears were confirmed; we found ourselves completely cut off from the world below. Exhausted from our efforts, we made our way back to the platform and collapsed onto the bed of leaves, sleeping deeply and soundly for several hours.

For several days after this fruitless search we were occupied in exploring every part of the summit of the hill, in order to inform ourselves of its actual resources. We found that it would afford us no food, with the exception of the unwholesome filberts, and a rank species of scurvy grass, which grew in a little patch of not more than four rods square, and would be soon exhausted. On the fifteenth of February, as near as I can remember, there was not a blade of this left, and the nuts were growing scarce; our situation, therefore, could hardly be more lamentable. {*5} On the sixteenth we again went round the walls of our prison, in hope of finding some avenue of escape; but to no purpose. We also descended the chasm in which we had been overwhelmed, with the faint expectation of discovering, through this channel, some opening to the main ravine. Here, too, we were disappointed, although we found and brought up with us a musket.

For several days after our unsuccessful search, we spent our time exploring every part of the top of the hill to learn about its real resources. We discovered that it offered us no food, except for some inedible filberts and a type of scurvy grass that grew in a small patch of no more than four rods square, which would be exhausted quickly. By February 15th, as far as I remember, there wasn't a single blade of that grass left, and the nuts were becoming scarce; our situation couldn't have been more desperate. On the sixteenth, we once again walked around the walls of our prison, hoping to find some way to escape, but it was all in vain. We also went down into the chasm where we had been caught, with the slight hope of finding an opening to the main ravine through this channel. Here too, we were let down, although we did find and bring up a musket with us.

On the seventeenth we set out with the determination of examining more thoroughly the chasm of black granite into which we had made our way in the first search. We remembered that one of the fissures in the sides of this pit had been but partially looked into, and we were anxious to explore it, although with no expectation of discovering here any opening.

On the seventeenth, we set out with the intention of examining more closely the chasm of black granite that we had entered during our initial search. We recalled that one of the cracks in the walls of this pit had only been partially investigated, and we were eager to explore it, even though we didn’t expect to find any openings there.

We found no great difficulty in reaching the bottom of the hollow as before, and were now sufficiently calm to survey it with some attention. It was, indeed, one of the most singular-looking places imaginable, and we could scarcely bring ourselves to believe it altogether the work of nature. The pit, from its eastern to its western extremity, was about five hundred yards in length, when all its windings were threaded; the distance from east to west in a straight line not being more (I should suppose, having no means of accurate examination) than forty or fifty yards. Upon first descending into the chasm, that is to say, for a hundred feet downward from the summit of the hill, the sides of the abyss bore little resemblance to each other, and, apparently, had at no time been connected, the one surface being of the soapstone, and the other of marl, granulated with some metallic matter. The average breadth or interval between the two cliffs was probably here sixty feet, but there seemed to be no regularity of formation. Passing down, however, beyond the limit spoken of, the interval rapidly contracted, and the sides began to run parallel, although, for some distance farther, they were still dissimilar in their material and form of surface. Upon arriving within fifty feet of the bottom, a perfect regularity commenced. The sides were now entirely uniform in substance, in colour, and in lateral direction, the material being a very black and shining granite, and the distance between the two sides, at all points facing each other, exactly twenty yards. The precise formation of the chasm will be best understood by means of a delineation taken upon the spot; for I had luckily with me a pocketbook and pencil, which I preserved with great care through a long series of subsequent adventure, and to which I am indebted for memoranda of many subjects which would otherwise have been crowded from my remembrance.

We had no trouble getting to the bottom of the hollow, as we had before, and we were now calm enough to examine it closely. It was, in fact, one of the most unusual places imaginable, and we could hardly believe it was entirely created by nature. The pit stretched about five hundred yards in length from its eastern to western ends, with the straight distance from east to west being only about forty or fifty yards, I would guess, since I had no accurate way to measure it. When we first went down into the chasm, for the first hundred feet downward from the top of the hill, the sides looked very different from each other and appeared to have never been connected. One side was made of soapstone, while the other was made of marl, mixed with some metallic substance. The average width between the two cliffs was probably around sixty feet here, but there seemed to be no consistent pattern in their formation. However, as we moved down past that point, the gap quickly narrowed, and the sides began to run parallel, though they still differed in material and surface texture for a while longer. When we got within fifty feet of the bottom, a perfect uniformity began. The sides were now completely identical in substance, color, and direction, made of a very black and shiny granite, and the distance between the two sides was exactly twenty yards apart at all points facing each other. The exact layout of the chasm will be best understood with a sketch taken right there; I was lucky to have a pocketbook and pencil with me, which I carefully kept through many subsequent adventures, and I'm grateful for the notes on many topics that would have otherwise faded from my memory.

This figure [No figures in text] gives the general outlines of the chasm, without the minor cavities in the sides, of which there were several, each cavity having a corresponding protuberance opposite. The bottom of the gulf was covered to the depth of three or four inches with a powder almost impalpable, beneath which we found a continuation of the black granite. To the right, at the lower extremity, will be noticed the appearance of a small opening; this is the fissure alluded to above, and to examine which more minutely than before was the object of our second visit. We now pushed into it with vigor, cutting away a quantity of brambles which impeded us, and removing a vast heap of sharp flints somewhat resembling arrowheads in shape. We were encouraged to persevere, however, by perceiving some little light proceeding from the farther end. We at length squeezed our way for about thirty feet, and found that the aperture was a low and regularly formed arch, having a bottom of the same impalpable powder as that in the main chasm. A strong light now broke upon us, and, turning a short bend, we found ourselves in another lofty chamber, similar to the one we had left in every respect but longitudinal form. Its general figure is here given.

This figure [No figures in text] shows the basic outline of the chasm, without including the smaller cavities along the sides, of which there were several, each with a corresponding bump opposite. The bottom of the gulf was covered with a layer of powder about three or four inches deep, beneath which we discovered more black granite. To the right, at the lower end, there's a small opening; this is the fissure mentioned earlier, and examining it more closely was the goal of our second visit. We pushed into it energetically, clearing away a dense mass of brambles that blocked our path and removing a large pile of sharp flints that looked a bit like arrowheads. We were motivated to keep going, though, as we noticed some light coming from the far end. Eventually, we squeezed through for about thirty feet and found that the opening was a low, neatly shaped arch, with a bottom of the same fine powder as in the main chasm. Suddenly, bright light flooded in, and after turning a slight corner, we found ourselves in another high chamber, just like the one we had left, except for its length. Its general shape is shown here.

The total length of this chasm, commencing at the opening a and proceeding round the curve b to the extremity d, is five hundred and fifty yards. At c we discovered a small aperture similar to the one through which we had issued from the other chasm, and this was choked up in the same manner with brambles and a quantity of the white arrowhead flints. We forced our way through it, finding it about forty feet long, and emerged into a third chasm. This, too, was precisely like the first, except in its longitudinal shape, which was thus.

The total length of this chasm, starting at opening a and curving around to the end d, is five hundred and fifty yards. At point c, we found a small opening similar to the one we had used to exit the other chasm, and this was blocked in the same way with brambles and a lot of the white arrowhead flints. We pushed our way through it, discovering it was about forty feet long, and came out into a third chasm. This one was just like the first, except for its length, which was as follows.

We found the entire length of the third chasm three hundred and twenty yards. At the point a was an opening about six feet wide, and extending fifteen feet into the rock, where it terminated in a bed of marl, there being no other chasm beyond, as we had expected. We were about leaving this fissure, into which very little light was admitted, when Peters called my attention to a range of singular-looking indentures in the surface of the marl forming the termination of the cul-de-sac. With a very slight exertion of the imagination, the left, or most northern of these indentures might have been taken for the intentional, although rude, representation of a human figure standing erect, with outstretched arm. The rest of them bore also some little resemblance to alphabetical characters, and Peters was willing, at all events, to adopt the idle opinion that they were really such. I convinced him of his error, finally, by directing his attention to the floor of the fissure, where, among the powder, we picked up, piece by piece, several large flakes of the marl, which had evidently been broken off by some convulsion from the surface where the indentures were found, and which had projecting points exactly fitting the indentures; thus proving them to have been the work of nature.

We found that the third chasm was three hundred and twenty yards long. At point a, there was an opening about six feet wide that extended fifteen feet into the rock, ending in a bed of marl, with no other chasm beyond, as we had anticipated. Just as we were about to leave this fissure, which let in very little light, Peters pointed out a series of strange-looking indentations in the surface of the marl at the end of the cul-de-sac. With a little imagination, the leftmost, or northernmost, of these indentations could be seen as a rough depiction of a human figure standing up with an outstretched arm. The others also somewhat resembled letters, and Peters was eager to entertain the idea that they were indeed that. However, I eventually convinced him he was mistaken by drawing his attention to the floor of the fissure, where we picked up several large flakes of marl among the powder, which had clearly broken off from the surface where the indentations were located. Each of these flakes had protruding points that fit perfectly into the indentations, proving they were naturally occurring.

After satisfying ourselves that these singular caverns afforded us no means of escape from our prison, we made our way back, dejected and dispirited, to the summit of the hill. Nothing worth mentioning occurred during the next twenty-four hours, except that, in examining the ground to the eastward of the third chasm, we found two triangular holes of great depth, and also with black granite sides. Into these holes we did not think it worth while to attempt descending, as they had the appearance of mere natural wells, without outlet. They were each about twenty yards in circumference, and their shape, as well as relative position in regard to the third chasm, is shown in figure 5. {image}

After confirming that these unique caverns offered us no way to escape from our prison, we trudged back, feeling defeated and downhearted, to the top of the hill. Nothing significant happened over the next twenty-four hours, except that while examining the ground to the east of the third chasm, we discovered two triangular holes that were very deep, with black granite sides. We didn’t see any reason to try to climb down into these holes, as they looked like natural wells with no exit. Each hole was about twenty yards in circumference, and their shape, as well as their position relative to the third chasm, is shown in figure 5. {image}

CHAPTER 24

On the twentieth of the month, finding it altogether impossible to subsist any longer upon the filberts, the use of which occasioned us the most excruciating torment, we resolved to make a desperate attempt at descending the southern declivity of the hill. The face of the precipice was here of the softest species of soapstone, although nearly perpendicular throughout its whole extent (a depth of a hundred and fifty feet at the least), and in many places even overarching. After a long search we discovered a narrow ledge about twenty feet below the brink of the gulf; upon this Peters contrived to leap, with what assistance I could render him by means of our pocket-handkerchiefs tied together. With somewhat more difficulty I also got down; and we then saw the possibility of descending the whole way by the process in which we had clambered up from the chasm when we had been buried by the fall of the hill—that is, by cutting steps in the face of the soapstone with our knives. The extreme hazard of the attempt can scarcely be conceived; but, as there was no other resource, we determined to undertake it.

On the twentieth of the month, finding it completely impossible to survive any longer on the filberts, which caused us the most intense pain, we decided to make a desperate attempt to climb down the southern slope of the hill. The face of the cliff here was made of the softest type of soapstone, although it was almost vertical throughout its entire height (at least a hundred and fifty feet deep), and in many spots even overhanging. After a long search, we found a narrow ledge about twenty feet below the edge of the chasm; on this, Peters managed to jump, with the help I could provide by tying our pocket handkerchiefs together. I got down with a bit more difficulty, and then we saw that it was possible to descend all the way using the same method we used to climb up from the chasm when we had been trapped by the landslide—that is, by cutting steps into the soapstone with our knives. The extreme danger of the attempt is hard to imagine; but since there were no other options, we decided to go for it.

Upon the ledge where we stood there grew some filbert-bushes; and to one of these we made fast an end of our rope of handkerchiefs. The other end being tied round Peters’ waist, I lowered him down over the edge of the precipice until the handkerchiefs were stretched tight. He now proceeded to dig a deep hole in the soapstone (as far in as eight or ten inches), sloping away the rock above to the height of a foot, or thereabout, so as to allow of his driving, with the butt of a pistol, a tolerably strong peg into the levelled surface. I then drew him up for about four feet, when he made a hole similar to the one below, driving in a peg as before, and having thus a resting-place for both feet and hands. I now unfastened the handkerchiefs from the bush, throwing him the end, which he tied to the peg in the uppermost hole, letting himself down gently to a station about three feet lower than he had yet been that is, to the full extent of the handkerchiefs. Here he dug another hole, and drove another peg. He then drew himself up, so as to rest his feet in the hole just cut, taking hold with his hands upon the peg in the one above. It was now necessary to untie the handkerchiefs from the topmost peg, with the view of fastening them to the second; and here he found that an error had been committed in cutting the holes at so great a distance apart. However, after one or two unsuccessful and dangerous attempts at reaching the knot (having to hold on with his left hand while he labored to undo the fastening with his right), he at length cut the string, leaving six inches of it affixed to the peg. Tying the handkerchiefs now to the second peg, he descended to a station below the third, taking care not to go too far down. By these means (means which I should never have conceived of myself, and for which we were indebted altogether to Peters’ ingenuity and resolution) my companion finally succeeded, with the occasional aid of projections in the cliff, in reaching the bottom without accident.

On the ledge where we stood, there were some hazel bushes, and we tied one end of our handkerchief rope to one of them. The other end was fastened around Peters’ waist, and I lowered him down over the edge of the cliff until the handkerchiefs were pulled tight. He then began digging a deep hole in the soapstone, going in about eight to ten inches, sloping the rock above it about a foot high to make space for driving a sturdy peg into the leveled surface with the butt of a pistol. I pulled him up about four feet, where he dug another hole like the first and drove in another peg, creating a resting place for both his feet and hands. I then unfastened the handkerchiefs from the bush and tossed him the end, which he tied to the peg in the upper hole, then lowered himself gently down to a point about three feet below where he had been, using the full length of the handkerchiefs. Here, he dug another hole and drove in another peg. He then pulled himself up to rest his feet in the hole he just cut while grabbing the peg above with his hands. At this point, he needed to untie the handkerchiefs from the top peg to fasten them to the second one, but he realized there had been a mistake in cutting the holes too far apart. After a couple of tricky and risky attempts to reach the knot—having to hold on with his left hand while trying to untie it with his right—he finally cut the string, leaving about six inches attached to the peg. He then tied the handkerchiefs to the second peg and descended below the third peg, making sure not to go too far down. Thanks to Peters’ cleverness and determination, and with some help from ledges on the cliff, my companion managed to reach the bottom safely without any accidents.

It was some time before I could summon sufficient resolution to follow him; but I did at length attempt it. Peters had taken off his shirt before descending, and this, with my own, formed the rope necessary for the adventure. After throwing down the musket found in the chasm, I fastened this rope to the bushes, and let myself down rapidly, striving, by the vigor of my movements, to banish the trepidation which I could overcome in no other manner. This answered sufficiently well for the first four or five steps; but presently I found my imagination growing terribly excited by thoughts of the vast depths yet to be descended, and the precarious nature of the pegs and soapstone holes which were my only support. It was in vain I endeavored to banish these reflections, and to keep my eyes steadily bent upon the flat surface of the cliff before me. The more earnestly I struggled not to think,the more intensely vivid became my conceptions, and the more horribly distinct. At length arrived that crisis of fancy, so fearful in all similar cases, the crisis in which we began to anticipate the feelings with which we shallfall—to picture to ourselves the sickness, and dizziness, and the last struggle, and the half swoon, and the final bitterness of the rushing and headlong descent. And now I found these fancies creating their own realities, and all imagined horrors crowding upon me in fact. I felt my knees strike violently together, while my fingers were gradually but certainly relaxing their grasp. There was a ringing in my ears, and I said, “This is my knell of death!” And now I was consumed with the irrepressible desire of looking below. I could not, I would not, confine my glances to the cliff; and, with a wild, indefinable emotion, half of horror, half of a relieved oppression, I threw my vision far down into the abyss. For one moment my fingers clutched convulsively upon their hold, while, with the movement, the faintest possible idea of ultimate escape wandered, like a shadow, through my mind—in the next my whole soul was pervaded with a longing to fall; a desire, a yearning, a passion utterly uncontrollable. I let go at once my grasp upon the peg, and, turning half round from the precipice, remained tottering for an instant against its naked face. But now there came a spinning of the brain; a shrill-sounding and phantom voice screamed within my ears; a dusky, fiendish, and filmy figure stood immediately beneath me; and, sighing, I sunk down with a bursting heart, and plunged within its arms.

It took me a while to gather enough courage to follow him, but eventually, I decided to try. Peters had taken off his shirt before climbing down, and together with mine, they became the rope I needed for the descent. After tossing the musket I found in the chasm down, I tied the makeshift rope to some bushes and lowered myself quickly, trying to shake off the fear I could only manage in this way. Things went okay for the first few steps, but soon my imagination started to run wild with thoughts of the deep drop I still had to descend, and the shaky pegs and soapstone holes that were my only support. No matter how hard I tried to push these thoughts away and focus on the flat surface of the cliff in front of me, the more I struggled not to think, the more vivid and intense those thoughts became. Eventually, I hit that terrifying moment we often face in similar situations, the moment when we start to imagine how we will feel when we do fall—picturing the nausea, the dizziness, the last desperate struggle, the near blackout, and the bitter end of the wild plunge. I found these scary thoughts becoming too real, and all the fears I imagined began to crowd around me. My knees felt weak, striking together violently, while my fingers slowly started to loosen their grip. There was a ringing in my ears, and I thought, “This is my death knell!” I was then overwhelmed by the uncontrollable urge to look down. I couldn’t force myself to keep my eyes on the cliff; instead, driven by a wild, indescribable emotion, half fear and half a strange relief, I looked deep into the abyss. For a moment, my fingers clung on tightly as the faintest idea of escape flickered through my mind, like a shadow—then suddenly, my whole being was filled with an irresistible longing to fall; a desire, a yearning, an uncontrollable passion. I immediately let go of the peg and, turning slightly away from the edge, teetered for a moment against the bare rock face. But then my mind started spinning; a high-pitched, phantom voice screamed in my ears; a dark, eerie figure loomed right beneath me; and, with a sigh, I sank down with a breaking heart and plunged into its embrace.

I had swooned, and Peters had caught me as I fell. He had observed my proceedings from his station at the bottom of the cliff; and perceiving my imminent danger, had endeavored to inspire me with courage by every suggestion he could devise; although my confusion of mind had been so great as to prevent my hearing what he said, or being conscious that he had even spoken to me at all. At length, seeing me totter, he hastened to ascend to my rescue, and arrived just in time for my preservation. Had I fallen with my full weight, the rope of linen would inevitably have snapped, and I should have been precipitated into the abyss; as it was, he contrived to let me down gently, so as to remain suspended without danger until animation returned. This was in about fifteen minutes. On recovery, my trepidation had entirely vanished; I felt a new being, and, with some little further aid from my companion, reached the bottom also in safety.

I had fainted, and Peters caught me as I fell. He had been watching me from his spot at the bottom of the cliff, and seeing my impending danger, he tried to inspire me with courage through every suggestion he could think of; however, I was so confused that I couldn't hear what he said or even realize he had spoken to me. Eventually, when he saw me wobbling, he rushed up to rescue me and arrived just in time. If I had fallen with my full weight, the linen rope would definitely have snapped, and I would have plummeted into the abyss; instead, he managed to lower me gently so that I was suspended safely until I regained consciousness. This took about fifteen minutes. When I came to, my fear had completely vanished; I felt renewed, and with a bit more help from my companion, I safely made it to the bottom as well.

We now found ourselves not far from the ravine which had proved the tomb of our friends, and to the southward of the spot where the hill had fallen. The place was one of singular wildness, and its aspect brought to my mind the descriptions given by travellers of those dreary regions marking the site of degraded Babylon. Not to speak of the ruins of the disrupted cliff, which formed a chaotic barrier in the vista to the northward, the surface of the ground in every other direction was strewn with huge tumuli, apparently the wreck of some gigantic structures of art; although, in detail, no semblance of art could be detected. Scoria were abundant, and large shapeless blocks of the black granite, intermingled with others of marl, {*6} and both granulated with metal. Of vegetation there were no traces whatsoever throughout the whole of the desolate area within sight. Several immense scorpions were seen, and various reptiles not elsewhere to be found in the high latitudes. As food was our most immediate object, we resolved to make our way to the seacoast, distant not more than half a mile, with a view of catching turtle, several of which we had observed from our place of concealment on the hill. We had proceeded some hundred yards, threading our route cautiously between the huge rocks and tumuli, when, upon turning a corner, five savages sprung upon us from a small cavern, felling Peters to the ground with a blow from a club. As he fell the whole party rushed upon him to secure their victim, leaving me time to recover from my astonishment. I still had the musket, but the barrel had received so much injury in being thrown from the precipice that I cast it aside as useless, preferring to trust my pistols, which had been carefully preserved in order. With these I advanced upon the assailants, firing one after the other in quick succession. Two savages fell, and one, who was in the act of thrusting a spear into Peters, sprung to his feet without accomplishing his purpose. My companion being thus released, we had no further difficulty. He had his pistols also, but prudently declined using them, confiding in his great personal strength, which far exceeded that of any person I have ever known. Seizing a club from one of the savages who had fallen, he dashed out the brains of the three who remained, killing each instantaneously with a single blow of the weapon, and leaving us completely masters of the field.

We found ourselves not far from the ravine that had become the grave of our friends, just south of where the hill had collapsed. The place was strikingly wild, and its appearance reminded me of the descriptions by travelers of the bleak areas marking the ruins of once-great Babylon. Aside from the destruction of the cliff that created a chaotic barrier to the north, the ground in every other direction was littered with enormous burial mounds, clearly the remnants of some massive structures, though no recognizable art could be seen. Scoria was everywhere, along with large misshapen blocks of black granite mixed with some of marl, both of which were flecked with metal. There were no signs of vegetation anywhere in the desolate landscape. We spotted several enormous scorpions and various reptiles not typically found in these high latitudes. Since food was our most pressing concern, we decided to head towards the coastline, which was only about half a mile away, with the hope of catching turtles that we had seen from our hiding spot on the hill. After we had gone a hundred yards, carefully navigating between the massive rocks and burial mounds, we rounded a corner and were suddenly ambushed by five savages who jumped out from a small cave, knocking Peters to the ground with a blow from a club. As he fell, the whole group rushed at him to grab their victim, giving me a moment to recover from my shock. I still had the musket, but it had been so damaged when thrown from the cliff that I tossed it aside as useless, choosing to rely on my pistols, which had been well-preserved. With those, I moved towards the attackers, firing them quickly one after the other. Two savages fell, and one, who had been about to stab Peters, jumped up without finishing his attempt. With my companion freed, we faced no further trouble. Peters also had his pistols, but wisely decided not to use them, trusting in his incredible personal strength, which surpassed anyone I had ever known. Grabbing a club from one of the fallen savages, he took out the brains of the three who were left, killing each one instantly with a single blow, leaving us completely in control of the scene.

So rapidly had these events passed, that we could scarcely believe in their reality, and were standing over the bodies of the dead in a species of stupid contemplation, when we were brought to recollection by the sound of shouts in the distance. It was clear that the savages had been alarmed by the firing, and that we had little chance of avoiding discovery. To regain the cliff, it would be necessary to proceed in the direction of the shouts, and even should we succeed in arriving at its base, we should never be able to ascend it without being seen. Our situation was one of the greatest peril, and we were hesitating in which path to commence a flight, when one of the savages whomI had shot, and supposed dead, sprang briskly to his feet, and attempted to make his escape. We overtook him,however, before he had advanced many paces, and were about to put him to death, when Peters suggested that we might derive some benefit from forcing him to accompany us in our attempt to escape. We therefore dragged him with us, making him understand that we would shoot him if he offered resistance. In a few minutes he was perfectly submissive, and ran by our sides as we pushed in among the rocks, making for the seashore.

The events had happened so quickly that we could hardly believe they were real. We stood over the bodies of the dead, lost in a kind of dazed contemplation, when the sound of distant shouts snapped us back to reality. It was clear the savages had noticed the gunfire, and we had little chance of staying hidden. To get back to the cliff, we would have to move toward the source of the shouts, and even if we made it to the base, there was no way to climb it without being seen. Our situation was extremely dangerous, and we were hesitating on which way to run when one of the savages I thought was dead suddenly sprang to his feet and tried to escape. We caught up to him just after he had taken a few steps and were about to kill him when Peters suggested we could use him to help us escape. So, we dragged him along with us, making it clear we would shoot him if he resisted. After a few minutes, he was completely compliant and ran alongside us as we moved through the rocks toward the seashore.

So far, the irregularities of the ground we had been traversing hid the sea, except at intervals, from our sight, and, when we first had it fairly in view, it was perhaps two hundred yards distant. As we emerged into the open beach we saw, to our great dismay, an immense crowd of the natives pouring from the village, and from all visible quarters of the island, making toward us with gesticulations of extreme fury, and howling like wild beasts. We were upon the point of turning upon our steps, and trying to secure a retreat among the fastnesses of the rougher ground, when I discovered the bows of two canoes projecting from behind a large rock which ran out into the water. Toward these we now ran with all speed, and, reaching them, found them unguarded, and without any other freight than three of the large Gallipago turtles and the usual supply of paddles for sixty rowers. We instantly took possession of one of them, and, forcing our captive on board, pushed out to sea with all the strength we could command.

So far, the uneven ground we had been walking on blocked our view of the sea, except for occasional glimpses, and when we finally saw it clearly, it was about two hundred yards away. As we stepped onto the open beach, we were alarmed to see a massive crowd of locals rushing from the village and other parts of the island towards us, wild with anger and howling like animals. We were about to turn back and look for a way to escape into the rough terrain when I noticed the bows of two canoes sticking out from behind a large rock that jutted into the water. We quickly ran toward them, and upon reaching them, we found them unattended, with only three large Galápagos turtles and paddles for sixty rowers. We immediately seized one of the canoes, forced our captives onboard, and paddled out to sea with all the strength we could muster.

We had not made, however, more than fifty yards from the shore before we became sufficiently calm to perceive the great oversight of which we had been guilty in leaving the other canoe in the power of the savages, who, by this time, were not more than twice as far from the beach as ourselves, and were rapidly advancing to the pursuit. No time was now to be lost. Our hope was, at best, a forlorn one, but we had none other. It was very doubtful whether, with the utmost exertion, we could get back in time to anticipate them in taking possession of the canoe; but yet there was a chance that we could. We might save ourselves if we succeeded, while not to make the attempt was to resign ourselves to inevitable butchery.

We had only gone about fifty yards from the shore when we finally calmed down enough to realize the huge mistake we made by leaving the other canoe in the hands of the savages, who were now only about twice as far from the beach as we were and were quickly coming after us. We couldn't waste any more time. Our hope was, at best, a slim one, but it was all we had. It was very uncertain whether, if we pushed ourselves to the limit, we could make it back in time to beat them to the canoe, but there was a chance we could. We might save ourselves if we succeeded, while not trying meant accepting certain death.

The canoe was modelled with the bow and stern alike, and, in place of turning it around, we merely changed our position in paddling. As soon as the savages perceived this they redoubled their yells, as well as their speed, and approached with inconceivable rapidity. We pulled, however, with all the energy of desperation, and arrived at the contested point before more than one of the natives had attained it. This man paid dearly for his superior agility, Peters shooting him through the head with a pistol as he approached the shore. The foremost among the rest of his party were probably some twenty or thirty paces distant as we seized upon the canoe. We at first endeavored to pull her into the deep water, beyond the reach of the savages, but, finding her too firmly aground, and there being no time to spare, Peters, with one or two heavy strokes from the butt of the musket, succeeded in dashing out a large portion of the bow and of one side. We then pushed off. Two of the natives by this time had got hold of our boat, obstinately refusing to let go, until we were forced to despatch them with our knives. We were now clear off, and making great way out to sea. The main body of the savages, upon reaching the broken canoe, set up the most tremendous yell of rage and disappointment conceivable. In truth, from everything I could see of these wretches, they appeared to be the most wicked, hypocritical, vindictive, bloodthirsty, and altogether fiendish race of men upon the face of the globe. It is clear we should have had no mercy had we fallen into their hands. They made a mad attempt at following us in the fractured canoe, but, finding it useless, again vented their rage in a series of hideous vociferations, and rushed up into the hills.

The canoe was designed with identical bow and stern, so instead of turning it around, we just switched our positions while paddling. As soon as the natives saw this, they yelled even louder and rowed faster, closing in on us at an unbelievable speed. However, we paddled with all the desperation we could muster and reached the contested point before any of them did. The first man to arrive paid dearly for his speed; Peters shot him in the head as he got near the shore. The rest of his group was probably about twenty or thirty paces away when we grabbed the canoe. We initially tried to pull it into deeper water, away from the natives, but it was stuck too firmly, and there wasn’t time to waste. So, Peters smashed a large chunk off the bow and one side of the canoe with the butt of his musket. Then we pushed off. By then, two of the natives had grabbed onto our boat and refused to let go, forcing us to take them out with our knives. Now we were free and making good progress out to sea. When the main group of natives reached the damaged canoe, they let out a furious yell of rage and disappointment. Honestly, from everything I saw, they seemed like the most wicked, hypocritical, vengeful, bloodthirsty, and downright evil people on the planet. It was clear we wouldn’t have shown them any mercy if they had caught us. They made a frenzied attempt to follow us in the broken canoe, but once they realized it was useless, they just let out more horrifying screams and ran up into the hills.

We were thus relieved from immediate danger, but our situation was still sufficiently gloomy. We knew that four canoes of the kind we had were at one time in the possession of the savages, and were not aware of the fact (afterward ascertained from our captive) that two of these had been blown to pieces in the explosion of the Jane Guy.We calculated, therefore, upon being yet pursued, as soon as our enemies could get round to the bay (distant about three miles) where the boats were usually laid up. Fearing this, we made every exertion to leave the island behind us, and went rapidly through the water, forcing the prisoner to take a paddle. In about half an hour, when we had gained probably five or six miles to the southward, a large fleet of the flat-bottomed canoes or rafts were seen to emerge from the bay evidently with the design of pursuit. Presently they put back, despairing to overtake us.

We were relieved from immediate danger, but our situation was still pretty bleak. We knew that four canoes like ours had once been with the natives, and we were unaware (later confirmed by our captive) that two of these canoes had been destroyed in the explosion of the Jane Guy. So, we figured we were still being pursued, as soon as our enemies could make their way to the bay (about three miles away) where the boats were usually kept. Concerned about this, we did everything we could to leave the island behind and moved quickly through the water, forcing the prisoner to paddle. After about half an hour, when we had probably covered five or six miles to the south, we saw a large group of flat-bottomed canoes or rafts coming out of the bay, clearly intent on pursuing us. Soon after, they turned back, giving up on catching us.

CHAPTER 25

We now found ourselves in the wide and desolate Antarctic Ocean, in a latitude exceeding eighty-four degrees, in a frail canoe, and with no provision but the three turtles. The long polar winter, too, could not be considered as far distant, and it became necessary that we should deliberate well upon the course to be pursued. There were six or seven islands in sight belonging to the same group, and distant from each other about five or six leagues; but upon neither of these had we any intention to venture. In coming from the northward in the Jane Guy we had been gradually leaving behind us the severest regions of ice—this, however little it maybe in accordance with the generally received notions respecting the Antarctic, was a fact—experience would not permit us to deny. To attempt, therefore, getting back would be folly—especially at so late a period of the season. Only one course seemed to be left open for hope. We resolved to steer boldly to the southward, where there was at least a probability of discovering other lands, and more than a probability of finding a still milder climate.

We now found ourselves in the vast and barren Antarctic Ocean, at a latitude over eighty-four degrees, in a fragile canoe, with nothing to eat except for three turtles. The long polar winter was not far off, and it was crucial that we carefully considered our next steps. There were six or seven islands visible in the same group, about five or six leagues apart, but we had no plans to take the risk of going to any of them. As we traveled south on the Jane Guy, we had gradually left behind the harshest icy regions—although this might not align with general beliefs about the Antarctic, it was the truth that experience had taught us. Attempting to go back would be foolish—especially this late in the season. The only option that seemed to offer any hope was to steer confidently south, where there was at least a chance of discovering new lands, and a strong likelihood of finding a milder climate.

So far we had found the Antarctic, like the Arctic Ocean, peculiarly free from violent storms or immoderately rough water; but our canoe was, at best, of frail structure, although large, and we set busily to work with a view of rendering her as safe as the limited means in our possession would admit. The body of the boat was of no better material than bark—the bark of a tree unknown. The ribs were of a tough osier, well adapted to the purpose for which it was used. We had fifty feet room from stem to stern, from four to six in breadth, and in depth throughout four feet and a half-the boats thus differing vastly in shape from those of any other inhabitants of the Southern Ocean with whom civilized nations are acquainted. We never did believe them the workmanship of the ignorant islanders who owned them; and some days after this period discovered, by questioning our captive, that they were in fact made by the natives of a group to the southwest of the country where we found them, having fallen accidentally into the hands of our barbarians. What we could do for the security of our boat was very little indeed. Several wide rents were discovered near both ends, and these we contrived to patch up with pieces of woollen jacket. With the help of the superfluous paddles, of which there were a great many, we erected a kind of framework about the bow, so as to break the force of any seas which might threaten to fill us in that quarter. We also set up two paddle-blades for masts, placing them opposite each other, one by each gunwale, thus saving the necessity of a yard. To these masts we attached a sail made of our shirts-doing this with some difficulty, as here we could get no assistance from our prisoner whatever, although he had been willing enough to labor in all the other operations. The sight of the linen seemed to affect him in a very singular manner. He could not be prevailed upon to touch it or go near it, shuddering when we attempted to force him, and shrieking out, “Tekeli-li!”

So far, we had found the Antarctic, like the Arctic Ocean, strangely free from violent storms or extremely rough waters; however, our canoe was, at best, flimsy, even though it was large, so we got to work to make it as safe as our limited resources would allow. The body of the boat was made of no better material than bark—the bark of an unknown tree. The ribs were made from tough willow, which was well-suited for its purpose. We had fifty feet of space from stem to stern, four to six feet in width, and a depth of four and a half feet throughout—the boat's shape was vastly different from those of any other inhabitants of the Southern Ocean known to civilized nations. We never believed they were made by the ignorant islanders who owned them; a few days later, we learned by questioning our captive that they were actually made by the natives of a group southwest of the area where we found them, having accidentally fallen into the hands of our captors. The measures we could take to secure our boat were minimal. We discovered several large tears near both ends, which we managed to patch with pieces of a woolen jacket. With the surplus paddles, of which there were many, we built a kind of framework around the bow to break the force of any waves that might threaten to swamp us there. We also set up two paddle blades as masts, placing them opposite each other, one by each gunwale, eliminating the need for a yard. To these masts, we attached a sail made from our shirts, which was somewhat difficult because we couldn't get any help from our prisoner, although he had been eager to assist with other tasks. The sight of the linen seemed to affect him in a very peculiar way. He couldn't be convinced to touch it or come near it, trembling when we tried to push him, and screaming out, “Tekeli-li!”

Having completed our arrangements in regard to the security of the canoe, we now set sail to the south-southeast for the present, with the view of weathering the most southerly of the group in sight. This being done, we turned the bow full to the southward. The weather could by no means be considered disagreeable. We had a prevailing and very gentle wind from the northward, a smooth sea, and continual daylight. No ice whatever was to be seen; nor did I ever see one particle of this after leaving the parallel of Bennet’s Islet.Indeed, the temperature of the water was here far too warm for its existence in any quantity. Having killed the largest of our tortoises, and obtained from him not only food but a copious supply of water, we continued on our course, without any incident of moment, for perhaps seven or eight days, during which period we must have proceeded a vast distance to the southward, as the wind blew constantly with us, and a very strong current set continually in the direction we were pursuing.

After making sure our canoe was secure, we set off south-southeast for now, aiming to pass the southernmost island in sight. Once that was accomplished, we pointed the bow directly south. The weather was definitely not unpleasant. We had a gentle breeze coming from the north, calm seas, and constant daylight. There was no ice to be found; nor did I ever see a single piece of it after leaving the latitude of Bennet’s Islet. In fact, the water temperature here was far too warm for ice to form in any significant amount. After catching the largest of our tortoises, which provided us with both food and a good supply of water, we continued on our journey without any major incidents for about seven or eight days. During that time, we must have traveled quite a distance south, as the wind was consistently at our back, and a strong current continuously moved us in the direction we were headed.

March 1st. {*7}-Many unusual phenomena now—indicated that we were entering upon a region of novelty and wonder. A high range of light gray vapor appeared constantly in the southern horizon, flaring up occasionally in lofty streaks, now darting from east to west, now from west to east, and again presenting a level and uniform summit—in short, having all the wild variations of the Aurora Borealis. The average height of this vapor, as apparent from our station, was about twenty-five degrees. The temperature of the sea seemed to be increasing momentarily, and there was a very perceptible alteration in its color.

March 1st. {*7}-A lot of strange things were happening now, suggesting that we were entering a place full of new experiences and wonders. A dense layer of light gray mist was consistently visible on the southern horizon, occasionally bursting into bright streaks, sometimes moving from east to west, other times from west to east, and at times showing a flat and even top—basically exhibiting all the wild variations of the Aurora Borealis. From our vantage point, this mist appeared to be about twenty-five degrees high. The sea temperature seemed to be rising constantly, and there was a noticeable change in its color.

March 2d.-To-day by repeated questioning of our captive, we came to the knowledge of many particulars in regard to the island of the massacre, its inhabitants, and customs—but with these how can I now detain the reader? I may say, however, that we learned there were eight islands in the group—that they were governed by a common king, named Tsalemonor Psalemoun,who resided in one of the smallest of the islands; that the black skins forming the dress of the warriors came from an animal of huge size to be found only in a valley near the court of the king—that the inhabitants of the group fabricated no other boats than the flat-bottomed rafts; the four canoes being all of the kind in their possession, and, these having been obtained, by mere accident, from some large island in the southwest—that his own name was Nu-Nu—that he had no knowledge of Bennet’s Islet—and that the appellation of the island he had left was Tsalal. The commencement of the words Tsalemonand Tsalal was given with a prolonged hissing sound, which we found it impossible to imitate, even after repeated endeavors, and which was precisely the same with the note of the black bittern we had eaten up on the summit of the hill.

March 2nd. - Today, through repeated questioning of our captive, we learned many details about the island of the massacre, its inhabitants, and their customs—but how can I keep you, the reader, waiting any longer? I can say, though, that we discovered there are eight islands in the group, governed by a common king named Tsalemon or Psalemoun, who lived on one of the smaller islands; that the black skins worn by the warriors came from a huge animal found only in a valley near the king's court; that the inhabitants of the group made no other boats besides flat-bottomed rafts, and that the four canoes they had were obtained purely by chance from a larger island in the southwest; that his own name was Nu-Nu; that he knew nothing of Bennet’s Islet; and that the name of the island he had left was Tsalal. The beginning of the words Tsalemon and Tsalal was pronounced with a prolonged hissing sound that we found impossible to replicate, even after several attempts, and this sound was exactly like the call of the black bittern we had eaten at the top of the hill.

March 3d.-The heat of the water was now truly remarkable, and in color was undergoing a rapid change, being no longer transparent, but of a milky consistency and hue. In our immediate vicinity it was usually smooth, never so rough as to endanger the canoe—but we were frequently surprised at perceiving, to our right and left, at different distances, sudden and extensive agitations of the surface; these, we at length noticed, were always preceded by wild flickerings in the region of vapor to the southward.

March 3rd. - The water was now incredibly warm, and its color was changing quickly, becoming milky instead of clear. In our immediate area, it was generally calm, never rough enough to put the canoe at risk—but we often noticed sudden and large disturbances on the surface to our right and left, at various distances; we finally realized that these were always preceded by wild flickering in the area of steam to the south.

March 4th.-To-day, with the view of widening our sail, the breeze from the northward dying away perceptibly, I took from my coat-pocket a white handkerchief. Nu-Nu was seated at my elbow, and the linen accidentally flaring in his face, he became violently affected with convulsions. These were succeeded by drowsiness and stupor, and low murmurings of “‘Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!”

March 4th.- Today, as the breeze from the north started to fade, I pulled a white handkerchief from my coat pocket to help catch more wind. Nu-Nu was sitting next to me, and when the linen unexpectedly flared up in his face, he became really agitated and started convulsing. This was followed by drowsiness and stupor, along with soft murmurs of “‘Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!”

March5th.-The wind had entirely ceased, but it was evident that we were still hurrying on to the southward, under the influence of a powerful current. And now,—indeed, it would seem reasonable that we should experience some alarm at the turn events were taking—but we felt none. The countenance of Peters indicated nothing of this nature, although it wore at times an expression I could not fathom. The polar winter appeared to be coming on—but coming without its terrors. I felt a numbness of body and mind—a dreaminess of sensation but this was all.

March 5th. - The wind had completely died down, but it was clear that we were still being pulled southward by a strong current. And now, it would seem reasonable for us to be worried about what was happening—but we felt none. Peters’ face showed no sign of concern, even though at times it bore an expression I couldn’t understand. The polar winter seemed to be approaching—but it felt like it was coming without its usual fears. I felt a numbness in my body and mind—a dreamy sensation, but that was all.

March 6th.-The gray vapor had now arisen many more degrees above the horizon, and was gradually losing its grayness of tint. The heat of the water was extreme, even unpleasant to the touch, and its milky hue was more evident than ever. Today a violent agitation of the water occurred very close to the canoe. It was attended, as usual, with a wild flaring up of the vapor at its summit, and a momentary division at its base. A fine white powder, resembling ashes—but certainly not such—fell over the canoe and over a large surface of the water, as the flickering died away among the vapor and the commotion subsided in the sea. Nu-Nu now threw himself on his face in the bottom of the boat, and no persuasions could induce him to arise.

March 6th.-The gray mist had risen higher above the horizon and was slowly losing its gray color. The water was extremely hot, even uncomfortable to touch, and its milky appearance was more noticeable than ever. Today, there was a violent disturbance in the water very close to the canoe. As usual, it was accompanied by a wild flare-up of vapor at the top and a brief split at the bottom. A fine white powder, looking like ashes—but definitely not that—fell onto the canoe and spread over a large area of the water as the flickering faded among the mist and the turbulence in the sea calmed down. Nu-Nu threw himself on his face in the bottom of the boat, and no amount of persuasion could get him to rise.

March 7th.-This day we questioned Nu-Nu concerning the motives of his countrymen in destroying our companions; but he appeared to be too utterly overcome by terror to afford us any rational reply. He still obstinately lay in the bottom of the boat; and, upon reiterating the questions as to the motive, made use only of idiotic gesticulations, such as raising with his forefinger the upper lip, and displaying the teeth which lay beneath it. These were black. We had never before seen the teeth of an inhabitant of Tsalal.

March 7th. - Today, we asked Nu-Nu about why his fellow countrymen killed our companions, but he seemed too terrified to give us a clear answer. He stubbornly stayed at the bottom of the boat, and when we repeated our questions, he responded only with silly gestures, like lifting his upper lip with his forefinger to show his teeth, which were black. We had never seen the teeth of someone from Tsalal before.

March 8th.-To-day there floated by us one of the white animals whose appearance upon the beach at Tsalal had occasioned so wild a commotion among the savages. I would have picked it up, but there came over me a sudden listlessness, and I forbore. The heat of the water still increased, and the hand could no longer be endured within it. Peters spoke little, and I knew not what to think of his apathy. Nu-Nu breathed, and no more.

March 8th.-Today, one of the white creatures that had caused such a stir among the locals when it appeared on the beach at Tsalal floated by us. I wanted to grab it, but I suddenly felt a wave of indifference and I held back. The water was getting hotter, and it was unbearable to keep my hand in it. Peters said very little, and I was puzzled by his lack of energy. Nu-Nu was breathing, and that was about it.

March 9th.-The whole ashy material fell now continually around us, and in vast quantities. The range of vapor to the southward had arisen prodigiously in the horizon, and began to assume more distinctness of form. I can liken it to nothing but a limitless cataract, rolling silently into the sea from some immense and far-distant rampart in the heaven. The gigantic curtain ranged along the whole extent of the southern horizon. It emitted no sound.

March 9th.-The whole ashy material kept falling around us in large amounts. The plume of vapor to the south had risen dramatically on the horizon and started to take on a clearer shape. I can only compare it to an endless waterfall, flowing silently into the sea from some massive, distant wall in the sky. The giant curtain stretched across the entire southern horizon. It made no sound.

March 21st.-A sullen darkness now hovered above us—but from out the milky depths of the ocean a luminous glare arose, and stole up along the bulwarks of the boat. We were nearly overwhelmed by the white ashy shower which settled upon us and upon the canoe, but melted into the water as it fell. The summit of the cataract was utterly lost in the dimness and the distance. Yet we were evidently approaching it with a hideous velocity. At intervals there were visible in it wide, yawning, but momentary rents, and from out these rents, within which was a chaos of flitting and indistinct images, there came rushing and mighty, but soundless winds, tearing up the enkindled ocean in their course.

March 21st. - A heavy darkness loomed over us, but from the milky depths of the ocean, a bright glow emerged and crept up along the sides of the boat. We were almost overwhelmed by the white, ashy shower that settled on us and the canoe, but it melted into the water as it fell. The top of the waterfall was completely lost in the dimness and distance. Yet we were clearly getting closer to it at a terrifying speed. Occasionally, wide, gaping, but brief openings appeared, and from these openings, filled with a chaotic mix of fleeting and unclear images, powerful but silent winds rushed out, churning up the glowing ocean in their path.

March 22d.-The darkness had materially increased, relieved only by the glare of the water thrown back from the white curtain before us. Many gigantic and pallidly white birds flew continuously now from beyond the veil, and their scream was the eternal Tekeli-li!as they retreated from our vision. Hereupon Nu-Nu stirred in the bottom of the boat; but upon touching him we found his spirit departed. And now we rushed into the embraces of the cataract, where a chasm threw itself open to receive us. But there arose in our pathway a shrouded human figure, very far larger in its proportions than any dweller among men. And the hue of the skin of the figure was of the perfect whiteness of the snow.

March 22nd. - The darkness had significantly increased, lit only by the bright reflection of the water bouncing off the white curtain in front of us. Many huge, pale white birds were now flying continuously from beyond the veil, their screams the constant Tekeli-li! as they vanished from our sight. At that moment, Nu-Nu stirred at the bottom of the boat; but when we touched him, we realized his spirit had gone. Now we rushed into the arms of the waterfall, where a chasm opened up to receive us. But in our path appeared a cloaked human figure, much larger than any person we knew. The skin of this figure was as perfectly white as snow.

NOTE

NOTE

THE circumstances connected with the late sudden and distressing death of Mr. Pym are already well known to the public through the medium of the daily press. It is feared that the few remaining chapters which were to have completed his narrative, and which were retained by him, while the above were in type, for the purpose of revision, have been irrecoverably lost through the accident by which he perished himself. This, however, may prove not to be the case, and the papers, if ultimately found, will be given to the public.

THE circumstances surrounding the recent sudden and tragic death of Mr. Pym are already well known to the public through the daily news. There is concern that the few remaining chapters meant to complete his story, which he was holding onto for revision while the others were being printed, may have been permanently lost in the accident that took his life. However, this might not be true, and if the papers are eventually found, they will be shared with the public.

No means have been left untried to remedy the deficiency. The gentleman whose name is mentioned in the preface, and who, from the statement there made, might be supposed able to fill the vacuum, has declined the task—this, for satisfactory reasons connected with the general inaccuracy of the details afforded him, and his disbelief in the entire truth of the latter portions of the narration. Peters, from whom some information might be expected, is still alive, and a resident of Illinois, but cannot be met with at present. He may hereafter be found, and will, no doubt, afford material for a conclusion of Mr. Pym’s account.

No effort has been spared to address the shortfall. The gentleman mentioned in the preface, who might have seemed capable of filling the gap based on the provided information, has turned down the task—this is due to valid reasons related to the overall inaccuracy of the details given to him, as well as his skepticism about the complete truth of the later parts of the story. Peters, who could possibly provide some insights, is still alive and living in Illinois, but we can't reach him at the moment. He may be found in the future and will likely contribute to a conclusion of Mr. Pym’s account.

The loss of two or three final chapters (for there were but two or three) is the more deeply to be regretted, as it can not be doubted they contained matter relative to the Pole itself, or at least to regions in its very near proximity; and as, too, the statements of the author in relation to these regions may shortly be verified or contradicted by means of the governmental expedition now preparing for the Southern Ocean.

The loss of two or three final chapters (since there were only two or three) is especially regrettable, as it's clear they likely included information about the Pole itself, or at least nearby areas; and also, the author's claims about these regions might soon be confirmed or disproven by the government expedition currently being prepared for the Southern Ocean.

On one point in the narrative some remarks may well be offered; and it would afford the writer of this appendix much pleasure if what he may here observe should have a tendency to throw credit, in any degree, upon the very singular pages now published. We allude to the chasms found in the island of Tsalal, and to the whole of the figures upon pages 245-47 {of the printed edition—ed.}.

On one point in the story, some comments might be made; and it would give the writer of this appendix great pleasure if what he notes here helps to give some credit to the very unique pages now published. We refer to the gaps found on the island of Tsalal, and to all the figures on pages 245-47 {of the printed edition—ed.}.

(Note: No figures were included with this text)

(Note: No figures were included with this text)

Mr. Pym has given the figures of the chasms without comment, and speaks decidedly of the indenturesfound at the extremity of the most easterly of these chasms as having but a fanciful resemblance to alphabetical characters, and, in short, as being positively not such. This assertion is made in a manner so simple, and sustained by a species of demonstration so conclusive (viz., the fitting of the projections of the fragments found among the dust into the indentures upon the wall), that we are forced to believe the writer in earnest; and no reasonable reader should suppose otherwise. But as the facts in relation to all the figures are most singular (especially when taken in connection with statements made in the body of the narrative), it may be as well to say a word or two concerning them all—this, too, the more especially as the facts in question have, beyond doubt, escaped the attention of Mr. Poe.

Mr. Pym has presented the details about the chasms without any comments and clearly states that the indentures found at the end of the farthest east chasm merely bear a fanciful resemblance to alphabetical characters and are, in fact, definitely not such. This claim is expressed in such a straightforward way and backed by a kind of evidence that is so convincing (specifically, the alignment of the shapes of the fragments found in the dust with the indentures on the wall) that we have to take the writer seriously; no reasonable reader should think otherwise. However, since the facts regarding all the figures are quite unusual (especially when considered alongside statements made in the main narrative), it might be worth saying a few words about them all—especially since it seems that Mr. Poe has likely overlooked these details.

Figure 1, then, figure 2, figure 3, and figure 5, when conjoined with one another in the precise order which the chasms themselves presented, and when deprived of the small lateral branches or arches (which, it will be remembered, served only as a means of communication between the main chambers, and were of totally distinct character), constitute an Ethiopian verbal root—the root “To be shady,’—whence all the inflections of shadow or darkness.

Figure 1, then figure 2, figure 3, and figure 5, when combined in the exact order presented by the gaps themselves, and when stripped of the small lateral branches or arches (which, as previously mentioned, only functioned as connections between the main chambers and were of a completely different nature), form an Ethiopian verbal root—the root "To be shady," from which all variations of shadow or darkness originate.

In regard to the “left or most northwardly” of the indentures in figure 4, it is more than probable that the opinion of Peters was correct, and that the hieroglyphical appearance was really the work of art, and intended as the representation of a human form. The delineation is before the reader, and he may, or may not, perceive the resemblance suggested; but the rest of the indentures afford strong confirmation of Peters’ idea. The upper range is evidently the Arabic verbal root “To be white,” whence all the inflections of brilliancy and whiteness. The lower range is not so immediately perspicuous. The characters are somewhat broken and disjointed; nevertheless, it can not be doubted that, in their perfect state, they formed the full Egyptian word, “The region of the south.” It should be observed that these interpretations confirm the opinion of Peters in regard to the “most northwardly” of the figures. The arm is outstretched toward the south.

Regarding the “left or most northwardly” of the indentures in figure 4, it’s likely that Peters was right, and that the hieroglyphic design was actually a work of art intended to represent a human form. The illustration is presented before the reader, who may or may not see the suggested resemblance; however, the other indentures strongly support Peters’ idea. The upper section clearly shows the Arabic verbal root “To be white,” from which all variations of brightness and whiteness are derived. The lower section isn’t as clear. The characters are a bit broken and disjointed; nonetheless, it’s undeniable that, in their complete form, they spelled out the full Egyptian word for “The region of the south.” It should be noted that these interpretations back up Peters' view regarding the “most northwardly” of the figures. The arm is reaching out toward the south.

Conclusions such as these open a wide field for speculation and exciting conjecture. They should be regarded, perhaps, in connection with some of the most faintly detailed incidents of the narrative; although in no visible manner is this chain of connection complete. Tekeli-li! was the cry of the affrighted natives of Tsalal upon discovering the carcase of the whiteanimal picked up at sea. This also was the shuddering exclamatives of Tsalal upon discovering the carcass of the whitematerials in possession of Mr. Pym. This also was the shriek of the swift-flying, white, and gigantic birds which issued from the vapory whitecurtain of the South. Nothing whitewas to be found at Tsalal, and nothing otherwise in the subsequent voyage to the region beyond. It is not impossible that “Tsalal,” the appellation of the island of the chasms, may be found, upon minute philological scrutiny, to betray either some alliance with the chasms themselves, or some reference to the Ethiopian characters so mysteriously written in their windings.

Conclusions like these open up a wide range for speculation and intriguing ideas. They should perhaps be considered alongside some of the more vaguely detailed incidents in the story; although, there is no clear way to complete this connection. "Tekeli-li!" was the cry of the frightened natives of Tsalal when they discovered the carcass of the white animal found at sea. This was also the terrified exclamation of the Tsalal people upon finding the carcass of the white materials in Mr. Pym's possession. This was also the scream of the swift-flying, white, and gigantic birds that emerged from the misty white curtain of the South. Nothing white was found at Tsalal, nor was anything else discovered on the subsequent journey to the region beyond. It’s possible that “Tsalal,” the name of the island of the chasms, may be shown, under close linguistic examination, to have either some connection to the chasms themselves or reference to the mysterious Ethiopian characters written in their paths.

“I have graven it within the hills, and my vengeance upon the dust within the rock.”

“I have carved it into the hills, and my revenge upon the dust in the rock.”

NOTES TO THE THIRD VOLUME

{*1} Whaling vessels are usually fitted with iron oil-tanks—why the Grampus was not I have never been able to ascertain.

{*1} Whaling ships typically have iron oil tanks—I've never figured out why the Grampus doesn't have them.

{*2} The case of the brig Polly, of Boston, is one so much in point, and her fate, in many respects, so remarkably similar to our own, that I cannot forbear alluding to it here. This vessel, of one hundred and thirty tons burden, sailed from Boston, with a cargo of lumber and provisions, for Santa Croix, on the twelfth of December, 1811, under the command of Captain Casneau. There were eight souls on board besides the captain—the mate, four seamen, and the cook, together with a Mr. Hunt, and a negro girl belonging to him. On the fifteenth, having cleared the shoal of Georges, she sprung a leak in a gale of wind from the southeast, and was finally capsized; but, the masts going by the board, she afterward righted. They remained in this situation, without fire, and with very little provision, for the period of one hundred and ninety-one days (from December the fifteenth to June the twentieth), when Captain Casneau and Samuel Badger, the only survivors, were taken off the wreck by the Fame, of Hull, Captain Featherstone, bound home from Rio Janeiro. When picked up, they were in latitude 28 degrees N., longitude 13 degrees W., having drifted above two thousand miles! On the ninth of July the Fame fell in with the brig Dromero, Captain Perkins, who landed the two sufferers in Kennebeck. The narrative from which we gather these details ends in the following words:

{*2} The story of the brig Polly from Boston is a perfect example, and her fate, in many ways, is strikingly similar to our own, so I can't help but mention it here. This ship, weighing one hundred and thirty tons, left Boston on December 12, 1811, carrying lumber and supplies bound for Santa Croix, under Captain Casneau's command. There were eight people on board besides the captain—the mate, four sailors, the cook, a Mr. Hunt, and a black girl who belonged to him. On the fifteenth, after clearing the shoals of Georges, the ship sprang a leak during a storm from the southeast and ultimately capsized; however, after losing her masts, she righted herself. They stayed in that situation, without fire and with very limited food for one hundred ninety-one days (from December 15 to June 20), until Captain Casneau and Samuel Badger, the only survivors, were rescued from the wreck by the Fame from Hull, under Captain Featherstone, who was returning home from Rio Janeiro. When they were picked up, they were at latitude 28 degrees N and longitude 13 degrees W, having drifted more than two thousand miles! On July 9, the Fame encountered the brig Dromero, Captain Perkins, who took the two survivors to Kennebeck. The account from which we get these details concludes with the following words:

“It is natural to inquire how they could float such a vast distance, upon the most frequented part of the Atlantic, and not be discovered all this time. They were passed by more than a dozen sail, one of which came so nigh them that they could distinctly see the people on deck and on the rigging looking at them; but, to the inexpressible disappointment of the starving and freezing men, they stifled the dictates of compassion, hoisted sail, and cruelly abandoned them to their fate.”

“It’s only natural to wonder how they could drift such a long way across the busiest part of the Atlantic without being found all this time. More than a dozen ships passed them, one of which got so close that they could clearly see the people on deck and in the rigging looking at them; yet, to the utter disappointment of the starving and freezing men, those people ignored their urge to help, raised their sails, and heartlessly left them to their fate.”

{*3} Among the vessels which at various times have professed to meet with the Auroras may be mentioned the ship San Miguel, in 1769; the ship Aurora, in 1774; the brig Pearl, in 1779; and the ship Dolores, in 1790. They all agree in giving the mean latitude fifty-three degrees south.

{*3} Among the ships that have claimed to encounter the Auroras at different times are the ship San Miguel in 1769; the ship Aurora in 1774; the brig Pearl in 1779; and the ship Dolores in 1790. They all report an average latitude of fifty-three degrees south.

{*4} The terms morning and evening, which I have made use of to avoid confusion in my narrative, as far as possible, must not, of course, be taken in their ordinary sense. For a long time past we had had no night at all, the daylight being continual. The dates throughout are according to nautical time, and the bearing must be understood as per compass. I would also remark, in this place, that I cannot, in the first portion of what is here written, pretend to strict accuracy in respect to dates, or latitudes and longitudes, having kept no regular journal until after the period of which this first portion treats. In many instances I have relied altogether upon memory.

{*4} The terms morning and evening, which I've used to keep my story clear, shouldn't be understood in their usual way. For quite a while, we haven't had any night at all, as the daylight has been constant. The dates mentioned are based on nautical time, and the direction should be taken as per compass. I should also point out here that I can't claim to be completely accurate about dates, latitudes, or longitudes in the first part of this writing, as I didn't keep a regular journal until after the time this first part covers. In many cases, I've depended entirely on my memory.

{*5} This day was rendered remarkable by our observing in the south several huge wreaths of the grayish vapour I have spoken of.

{*5} This day was notable because we saw several huge wreaths of the grayish mist I mentioned in the south.

{*6} The marl was also black; indeed, we noticed no light colored substances of any kind upon the island.

{*6} The marl was also black; in fact, we didn't see any light-colored substances at all on the island.

{*7}For obvious reasons I cannot pretend to strict accuracy in these dates. They are given principally with a view to perspicity of narrative, and as set down in my pencil memorandum.

{*7}For obvious reasons, I can't claim to be completely accurate with these dates. They are mainly provided for clarity in the story, as noted in my pencil memo.

LIGEIA

And the will therein lieth, which dieth not. Who knoweth the mysteries of the will, with its vigor? For God is but a great will pervading all things by nature of its intentness. Man doth not yield himself to the angels, nor unto death utterly, save only through the weakness of his feeble will.—Joseph Glanvill.

And the will is where it lies, which never dies. Who understands the mysteries of the will and its strength? For God is essentially a powerful will that permeates everything by its very nature. A person doesn't completely give himself to the angels, nor to death, except through the weakness of his fragile will.—Joseph Glanvill.

I cannot, for my soul, remember how, when, or even precisely where, I first became acquainted with the lady Ligeia. Long years have since elapsed, and my memory is feeble through much suffering. Or, perhaps, I cannot now bring these points to mind, because, in truth, the character of my beloved, her rare learning, her singular yet placid cast of beauty, and the thrilling and enthralling eloquence of her low musical language, made their way into my heart by paces so steadily and stealthily progressive that they have been unnoticed and unknown. Yet I believe that I met her first and most frequently in some large, old, decaying city near the Rhine. Of her family—I have surely heard her speak. That it is of a remotely ancient date cannot be doubted. Ligeia! Ligeia! Buried in studies of a nature more than all else adapted to deaden impressions of the outward world, it is by that sweet word alone—by Ligeia—that I bring before mine eyes in fancy the image of her who is no more. And now, while I write, a recollection flashes upon me that I have never known the paternal name of her who was my friend and my betrothed, and who became the partner of my studies, and finally the wife of my bosom. Was it a playful charge on the part of my Ligeia? or was it a test of my strength of affection, that I should institute no inquiries upon this point? or was it rather a caprice of my own—a wildly romantic offering on the shrine of the most passionate devotion? I but indistinctly recall the fact itself—what wonder that I have utterly forgotten the circumstances which originated or attended it? And, indeed, if ever that spirit which is entitled Romance—if ever she, the wan and the misty-winged Ashtophet of idolatrous Egypt, presided, as they tell, over marriages ill-omened, then most surely she presided over mine.

I honestly can’t remember how, when, or even exactly where I first met the lady Ligeia. Many years have passed since then, and my memory is weak from so much suffering. Or maybe I can’t recall these details now because, in truth, the nature of my beloved—her rare knowledge, her unique yet calm beauty, and the captivating eloquence of her soft, musical voice—made its way into my heart so gradually and stealthily that I didn’t notice it at all. Still, I believe I first saw her most often in some large, ancient, crumbling city near the Rhine. I must have heard her talk about her family. It’s certain that it’s from a very old lineage. Ligeia! Ligeia! Lost in studies that numb my awareness of the outside world, it’s that sweet name alone—Ligeia—that allows me to vividly imagine her who is no longer here. And now, as I write, I suddenly remember that I never knew the last name of my friend and fiancée, who became my study partner and, ultimately, the love of my life. Was it a playful challenge from my Ligeia? Or a test of how strong my love was that I never asked? Or was it simply a whim of my own—a wildly romantic gesture in the name of my deep devotion? I can barely recall the fact itself—so it’s no surprise that I’ve completely forgotten the details surrounding it. Indeed, if ever there was a spirit called Romance—if ever she, the pale and misty-winged Ashtophet of idolatrous Egypt, oversaw ill-fated marriages, then she most certainly watched over mine.

There is one dear topic, however, on which my memory fails me not. It is the person of Ligeia. In stature she was tall, somewhat slender, and, in her latter days, even emaciated. I would in vain attempt to portray the majesty, the quiet ease, of her demeanor, or the incomprehensible lightness and elasticity of her footfall. She came and departed as a shadow. I was never made aware of her entrance into my closed study save by the dear music of her low sweet voice, as she placed her marble hand upon my shoulder. In beauty of face no maiden ever equalled her. It was the radiance of an opium-dream—an airy and spirit-lifting vision more wildly divine than the phantasies which hovered about the slumbering souls of the daughters of Delos. Yet her features were not of that regular mould which we have been falsely taught to worship in the classical labors of the heathen. “There is no exquisite beauty,” says Bacon, Lord Verulam, speaking truly of all the forms and genera of beauty, “without some strangeness in the proportion.” Yet, although I saw that the features of Ligeia were not of a classic regularity—although I perceived that her loveliness was indeed “exquisite,” and felt that there was much of “strangeness” pervading it, yet I have tried in vain to detect the irregularity and to trace home my own perception of “the strange.” I examined the contour of the lofty and pale forehead—it was faultless—how cold indeed that word when applied to a majesty so divine!—the skin rivalling the purest ivory, the commanding extent and repose, the gentle prominence of the regions above the temples; and then the raven-black, the glossy, the luxuriant and naturally-curling tresses, setting forth the full force of the Homeric epithet, “hyacinthine!” I looked at the delicate outlines of the nose—and nowhere but in the graceful medallions of the Hebrews had I beheld a similar perfection. There were the same luxurious smoothness of surface, the same scarcely perceptible tendency to the aquiline, the same harmoniously curved nostrils speaking the free spirit. I regarded the sweet mouth. Here was indeed the triumph of all things heavenly—the magnificent turn of the short upper lip—the soft, voluptuous slumber of the under—the dimples which sported, and the color which spoke—the teeth glancing back, with a brilliancy almost startling, every ray of the holy light which fell upon them in her serene and placid, yet most exultingly radiant of all smiles. I scrutinized the formation of the chin—and here, too, I found the gentleness of breadth, the softness and the majesty, the fullness and the spirituality, of the Greek—the contour which the god Apollo revealed but in a dream, to Cleomenes, the son of the Athenian. And then I peered into the large eyes of Ligeia.

There’s one beloved subject, however, that I can remember clearly. It’s about Ligeia. She was tall, somewhat slender, and in her later days, even a bit frail. I could never quite capture the majesty and calm grace of her presence, or the remarkable lightness and agility of her steps. She entered and left like a shadow. I only knew she had entered my study when I heard her sweet, soft voice as she placed her cool hand on my shoulder. No one ever matched her beauty. It was like the glow of an opium dream—an uplifting and ethereal vision, more intensely divine than the fantasies surrounding the sleeping souls of the daughters of Delos. Yet her features didn’t conform to the regular standard we’ve been misled to admire in classical art. “There is no exquisite beauty,” as Bacon, Lord Verulam, truthfully points out about all forms of beauty, “without some strangeness in the proportion.” Even though I noticed Ligeia's features lacked classical regularity—though I recognized that her beauty was indeed “exquisite” and felt there was much “strangeness” within it—I struggled to identify the irregularity and understand my own sense of “the strange.” I studied the shape of her tall, pale forehead—it was perfect—how inadequate that word seems when describing something so divine! Her skin rivaled the purest ivory, with a commanding presence and tranquil grace, and the gentle curve of the areas above her temples; then there were her raven-black, glossy, vibrant curls, reminding one of the Homeric term, “hyacinthine!” I examined the delicate lines of her nose—and I had only seen similar perfection in the elegant medallions of the Hebrews. There was the same luxurious smoothness, the same barely noticeable aquiline tendency, and the same elegantly curved nostrils that reflected a free spirit. I gazed at her lovely mouth. Here was truly the peak of heavenly beauty—the exquisite curve of her short upper lip—the soft, sensuous slumber of her lower lip—the playful dimples, and the color that spoke volumes—the teeth shone, reflecting almost every ray of holy light that touched them in her calm yet vibrantly radiant smile. I studied the shape of her chin—and here, too, I found a gentle breadth, the softness and majesty, the fullness and spirituality of the Greeks—the contour that the god Apollo might show only in a dream to Cleomenes, the son of the Athenian. And then I looked into Ligeia’s large eyes.

For eyes we have no models in the remotely antique. It might have been, too, that in these eyes of my beloved lay the secret to which Lord Verulam alludes. They were, I must believe, far larger than the ordinary eyes of our own race. They were even fuller than the fullest of the gazelle eyes of the tribe of the valley of Nourjahad. Yet it was only at intervals—in moments of intense excitement—that this peculiarity became more than slightly noticeable in Ligeia. And at such moments was her beauty—in my heated fancy thus it appeared perhaps—the beauty of beings either above or apart from the earth—the beauty of the fabulous Houri of the Turk. The hue of the orbs was the most brilliant of black, and, far over them, hung jetty lashes of great length. The brows, slightly irregular in outline, had the same tint. The “strangeness,” however, which I found in the eyes, was of a nature distinct from the formation, or the color, or the brilliancy of the features, and must, after all, be referred to the expression. Ah, word of no meaning! behind whose vast latitude of mere sound we intrench our ignorance of so much of the spiritual. The expression of the eyes of Ligeia! How for long hours have I pondered upon it! How have I, through the whole of a midsummer night, struggled to fathom it! What was it—that something more profound than the well of Democritus—which lay far within the pupils of my beloved? What was it? I was possessed with a passion to discover. Those eyes! those large, those shining, those divine orbs! they became to me twin stars of Leda, and I to them devoutest of astrologers.

For eyes, we have no examples from ancient times. It could be that within the eyes of my beloved lay the secret that Lord Verulam refers to. I must believe they were much larger than the ordinary eyes of our kind. They were even fuller than the fullest gazelle eyes from the valley of Nourjahad. But it was only occasionally—in moments of intense excitement—that this peculiarity became more than slightly noticeable in Ligeia. And at those moments, her beauty—at least in my heated imagination—seemed to be that of beings either above or separate from the earth—the beauty of the fabulous Houri of the Turk. The color of her eyes was the most brilliant black, and long, dark lashes hung over them. The brows, slightly uneven in shape, shared the same color. The “strangeness” I found in her eyes was something distinct from their shape, color, or brilliance, and must ultimately refer to their expression. Ah, that meaningless word! Behind its vast sound, we hide our ignorance of so much of the spiritual. The expression of Ligeia's eyes! How many hours have I pondered it! How have I, through an entire midsummer night, struggled to understand it! What was that something deeper than the well of Democritus that lay hidden within the pupils of my beloved? What was it? I was consumed with a desire to find out. Those eyes! those large, shining, divine orbs! they became to me twin stars of Leda, and I was the most devoted of astrologers to them.

There is no point, among the many incomprehensible anomalies of the science of mind, more thrillingly exciting than the fact—never, I believe, noticed in the schools—that, in our endeavors to recall to memory something long forgotten, we often find ourselves upon the very verge of remembrance, without being able, in the end, to remember. And thus how frequently, in my intense scrutiny of Ligeia’s eyes, have I felt approaching the full knowledge of their expression—felt it approaching—yet not quite be mine—and so at length entirely depart! And (strange, oh strangest mystery of all!) I found, in the commonest objects of the universe, a circle of analogies to that expression. I mean to say that, subsequently to the period when Ligeia’s beauty passed into my spirit, there dwelling as in a shrine, I derived, from many existences in the material world, a sentiment such as I felt always aroused within me by her large and luminous orbs. Yet not the more could I define that sentiment, or analyze, or even steadily view it. I recognized it, let me repeat, sometimes in the survey of a rapidly-growing vine—in the contemplation of a moth, a butterfly, a chrysalis, a stream of running water. I have felt it in the ocean—in the falling of a meteor. I have felt it in the glances of unusually aged people. And there are one or two stars in heaven—(one especially, a star of the sixth magnitude, double and changeable, to be found near the large star in Lyra) in a telescopic scrutiny of which I have been made aware of the feeling. I have been filled with it by certain sounds from stringed instruments, and not unfrequently by passages from books. Among innumerable other instances, I well remember something in a volume of Joseph Glanvill, which (perhaps merely from its quaintness—who shall say?) never failed to inspire me with the sentiment: “And the will therein lieth, which dieth not. Who knoweth the mysteries of the will, with its vigor? For God is but a great will pervading all things by nature of its intentness. Man doth not yield him to the angels, nor unto death utterly, save only through the weakness of his feeble will.”

There’s nothing quite as thrilling among the many strange mysteries of the mind as the fact—something I don’t think is ever mentioned in school—that when we try to remember something long forgotten, we often feel on the edge of remembering, only to ultimately come up empty. Many times, while intensely studying Ligeia’s eyes, I felt like I was just about to fully grasp their expression—felt it coming closer—but it never quite became mine, and then it would completely fade away! And (oh, the strangest mystery of all!) I found that common objects in the world echoed that expression. I mean that after Ligeia’s beauty settled in my mind, like a treasure in a shrine, I experienced from many things in the physical world a feeling similar to what her large, bright eyes always stirred in me. Yet I could still never define, analyze, or even clearly look at that feeling. I recognized it, as I said, sometimes while observing a rapidly growing vine—while contemplating a moth, a butterfly, a chrysalis, or a stream of flowing water. I’ve felt it in the ocean—in the fall of a meteor. I’ve sensed it in the gaze of unusually old people. And there are one or two stars in the sky—(especially one, a sixth-magnitude star that’s double and variable, found near the bright star in Lyra)—in examining which through a telescope, I became aware of that feeling. It filled me through certain sounds from stringed instruments and often through passages in books. Among countless other examples, I clearly remember something from a volume by Joseph Glanvill, which (perhaps just because it’s so unusual—who knows?) always inspired that feeling in me: “And the will therein lies, which dieth not. Who knows the mysteries of the will, with its strength? For God is just a great will that pervades all things by nature of its intent. Man does not surrender himself to angels, or to death completely, only through the weakness of his fragile will.”

Length of years, and subsequent reflection, have enabled me to trace, indeed, some remote connection between this passage in the English moralist and a portion of the character of Ligeia. An intensity in thought, action, or speech, was possibly, in her, a result, or at least an index, of that gigantic volition which, during our long intercourse, failed to give other and more immediate evidence of its existence. Of all the women whom I have ever known, she, the outwardly calm, the ever-placid Ligeia, was the most violently a prey to the tumultuous vultures of stern passion. And of such passion I could form no estimate, save by the miraculous expansion of those eyes which at once so delighted and appalled me—by the almost magical melody, modulation, distinctness and placidity of her very low voice—and by the fierce energy (rendered doubly effective by contrast with her manner of utterance) of the wild words which she habitually uttered.

The years have passed, and with reflection, I can see a distant connection between this passage from the English moralist and some aspects of Ligeia's character. Her intensity in thought, action, or speech was likely a reflection, or at least a sign, of that immense determination which, during our long relationship, did not reveal itself in more obvious ways. Of all the women I've ever known, she, the outwardly calm and always serene Ligeia, was the most deeply affected by the chaotic forces of intense emotion. I could only gauge this kind of passion through the miraculous depth of her eyes that both thrilled and terrified me, through the almost magical quality of her soft voice that was melodic, modulated, distinct, and calm, and through the fierce energy of the wild words she often spoke, which were even more striking when contrasted with her manner of speaking.

I have spoken of the learning of Ligeia: it was immense—such as I have never known in woman. In the classical tongues was she deeply proficient, and as far as my own acquaintance extended in regard to the modern dialects of Europe, I have never known her at fault. Indeed upon any theme of the most admired, because simply the most abstruse of the boasted erudition of the academy, have I ever found Ligeia at fault? How singularly—how thrillingly, this one point in the nature of my wife has forced itself, at this late period only, upon my attention! I said her knowledge was such as I have never known in woman—but where breathes the man who has traversed, and successfully, all the wide areas of moral, physical, and mathematical science? I saw not then what I now clearly perceive, that the acquisitions of Ligeia were gigantic, were astounding; yet I was sufficiently aware of her infinite supremacy to resign myself, with a child-like confidence, to her guidance through the chaotic world of metaphysical investigation at which I was most busily occupied during the earlier years of our marriage. With how vast a triumph—with how vivid a delight—with how much of all that is ethereal in hope did I feel, as she bent over me in studies but little sought—but less known—that delicious vista by slow degrees expanding before me, down whose long, gorgeous, and all untrodden path, I might at length pass onward to the goal of a wisdom too divinely precious not to be forbidden!

I have talked about Ligeia's knowledge: it was immense—like nothing I've ever seen in a woman. She was deeply skilled in classical languages, and as far as my own knowledge of modern European languages goes, I’ve never known her to make a mistake. In fact, on any topic that was highly admired, simply because it was the most complex of the so-called knowledge of academia, have I ever found Ligeia to be wrong? How oddly—how excitingly, this particular aspect of my wife has struck me, just now, at this late time! I said her knowledge was unlike anything I have known in a woman—but where is the man who has successfully explored all the broad fields of moral, physical, and mathematical sciences? I didn't see then what I now recognize clearly, that Ligeia's knowledge was enormous, was astonishing; yet I was aware enough of her vast superiority to submit myself, with a child-like trust, to her guidance through the chaotic world of metaphysical inquiry that I was deeply engaged in during the earlier years of our marriage. With what immense triumph—with what vivid joy—with all that is ethereal in hope did I feel, as she leaned over me in studies that were rarely sought—and even less understood—that beautiful perspective slowly unfolding before me, down whose long, splendid, and completely untraveled path, I might eventually move forward toward a goal of knowledge too divinely precious not to be off-limits!

How poignant, then, must have been the grief with which, after some years, I beheld my well-grounded expectations take wings to themselves and fly away! Without Ligeia I was but as a child groping benighted. Her presence, her readings alone, rendered vividly luminous the many mysteries of the transcendentalism in which we were immersed. Wanting the radiant lustre of her eyes, letters, lambent and golden, grew duller than Saturnian lead. And now those eyes shone less and less frequently upon the pages over which I pored. Ligeia grew ill. The wild eyes blazed with a too—too glorious effulgence; the pale fingers became of the transparent waxen hue of the grave; and the blue veins upon the lofty forehead swelled and sank impetuously with the tides of the gentle emotion. I saw that she must die—and I struggled desperately in spirit with the grim Azrael. And the struggles of the passionate wife were, to my astonishment, even more energetic than my own. There had been much in her stern nature to impress me with the belief that, to her, death would have come without its terrors; but not so. Words are impotent to convey any just idea of the fierceness of resistance with which she wrestled with the Shadow. I groaned in anguish at the pitiable spectacle. I would have soothed—I would have reasoned; but, in the intensity of her wild desire for life,—for life—but for life—solace and reason were the uttermost folly. Yet not until the last instance, amid the most convulsive writhings of her fierce spirit, was shaken the external placidity of her demeanor. Her voice grew more gentle—grew more low—yet I would not wish to dwell upon the wild meaning of the quietly uttered words. My brain reeled as I hearkened, entranced, to a melody more than mortal—to assumptions and aspirations which mortality had never before known.

How heartbreaking it must have been for me, after some years, to see my well-founded hopes take flight and disappear! Without Ligeia, I was like a child groping in the dark. Her presence and her readings illuminated the many mysteries of the transcendentalism we were involved in. Without the radiant glow of her eyes, letters, once bright and golden, dulled to the heaviness of lead. And now those eyes appeared less and less frequently on the pages I studied. Ligeia became ill. Her wild eyes blazed with an overwhelming brilliance; her pale fingers turned a transparent, waxy color like that of the grave; and the blue veins on her high forehead swelled and sank with the ebb and flow of her gentle emotions. I realized she was going to die—and I fought desperately in spirit against the grim figure of death. To my surprise, her struggles were even more intense than my own. There had been much in her serious nature to make me believe that death wouldn’t scare her, but that wasn’t true. Words can't fully express the fierce resistance with which she battled the Shadow. I groaned in anguish at the heartbreaking scene. I wanted to comfort her—I wanted to reason with her; but in the depth of her wild yearning for life—for life—nothing I could say or do made any sense. Yet not until the very end, amid the most violent writhings of her fierce spirit, did her outward calmness ever waver. Her voice became more gentle—more soft—but I can't bear to dwell on the wild meaning behind her softly spoken words. My mind spun as I listened, entranced, to a melody beyond human understanding— to hopes and dreams that humanity had never experienced before.

That she loved me I should not have doubted; and I might have been easily aware that, in a bosom such as hers, love would have reigned no ordinary passion. But in death only, was I fully impressed with the strength of her affection. For long hours, detaining my hand, would she pour out before me the overflowing of a heart whose more than passionate devotion amounted to idolatry. How had I deserved to be so blessed by such confessions?—how had I deserved to be so cursed with the removal of my beloved in the hour of her making them? But upon this subject I cannot bear to dilate. Let me say only, that in Ligeia’s more than womanly abandonment to a love, alas! all unmerited, all unworthily bestowed, I at length recognized the principle of her longing with so wildly earnest a desire for the life which was now fleeing so rapidly away. It is this wild longing—it is this eager vehemence of desire for life—but for life—that I have no power to portray—no utterance capable of expressing.

I shouldn't have doubted that she loved me; it was clear that in a heart like hers, love was no ordinary feeling. But it was only in her death that I truly understood the depth of her affection. For hours, she held my hand and revealed the full measure of a heart whose intense devotion bordered on worship. How did I deserve such profound confessions?—how did I deserve the heartbreak of losing my beloved just as she shared them? I can't stand to dwell on this. Let me just say that in Ligeia’s deep, selfless love—a love I didn’t earn and didn’t deserve—I finally saw the intense longing she had for the life that was slipping away so quickly. It’s this overwhelming longing—it’s this fierce desire for life, just for life—that I can't find the words to express.

At high noon of the night in which she departed, beckoning me, peremptorily, to her side, she bade me repeat certain verses composed by herself not many days before. I obeyed her. They were these:

At midnight on the night she left, calling me firmly to her side, she asked me to repeat some verses she had written just a few days earlier. I complied. They were these:

Lo! ’tis a gala night
    Within the lonesome latter years!
An angel throng, bewinged, bedight
    In veils, and drowned in tears,
Sit in a theatre, to see
    A play of hopes and fears,
While the orchestra breathes fitfully
    The music of the spheres.

Mimes, in the form of God on high,
    Mutter and mumble low,
And hither and thither fly;
    Mere puppets they, who come and go
At bidding of vast formless things
    That shift the scenery to and fro,
Flapping from out their Condor wings
    Invisible Wo!

That motley drama!—oh, be sure
    It shall not be forgot!
With its Phantom chased forever more,
    By a crowd that seize it not,
Through a circle that ever returneth in
    To the self-same spot,
And much of Madness and more of Sin
    And Horror the soul of the plot.

But see, amid the mimic rout,
    A crawling shape intrude!
A blood-red thing that writhes from out
    The scenic solitude!
It writhes!—it writhes!—with mortal pangs
    The mimes become its food,
And the seraphs sob at vermin fangs
    In human gore imbued.

Out—out are the lights—out all!
    And over each quivering form,
The curtain, a funeral pall,
    Comes down with the rush of a storm,
And the angels, all pallid and wan,
    Uprising, unveiling, affirm
That the play is the tragedy, “Man,”
    And its hero the Conqueror Worm.

Look! It's a gala night
    In these lonely later years!
A crowd of angels, with wings, adorned
    In veils, and drowning in tears,
Sit in a theater, watching
    A play of hopes and fears,
While the orchestra breathes sporadically
    The music of the spheres.

Mimes, resembling God above,
    Mutter and mumble softly,
And flit here and there;
    Just puppets they are, who come and go
At the command of vast formless beings
    That shift the scenery back and forth,
Flapping from out their Condor wings
    Invisible Wow!

That colorful drama!—oh, you can be sure
    It won't be forgotten!
With its Phantom forever chased,
    By a crowd that cannot grasp it,
Through a loop that always returns
    To the same spot,
And filled with Madness and more Sin
    And Horror at the heart of the plot.

But look, among the mimic crowd,
    A creeping shape intrudes!
A blood-red thing that writhes out
    Of the scenic solitude!
It writhes!—it writhes!—with mortal pain
    The mimes become its prey,
And the angels weep at the vermin fangs
    In human blood stained.

Out—out go the lights—out completely!
    And over each trembling form,
The curtain, a funeral shroud,
    Drops down with the rush of a storm,
And the angels, all pale and weak,
    Rising, unveiling, declare
That the play is the tragedy, “Man,”
    And its hero the Conqueror Worm.

“O God!” half shrieked Ligeia, leaping to her feet and extending her arms aloft with a spasmodic movement, as I made an end of these lines—“O God! O Divine Father!—shall these things be undeviatingly so?—shall this Conqueror be not once conquered? Are we not part and parcel in Thee? Who—who knoweth the mysteries of the will with its vigor? Man doth not yield him to the angels, nor unto death utterly, save only through the weakness of his feeble will.”

“O God!” Ligeia half-shrieked, jumping to her feet and raising her arms up in a sudden movement as I finished writing these lines—“O God! O Divine Father!—will things always be this way?—will this Conqueror never be defeated? Are we not all part of You? Who—who understands the mysteries of the will and its strength? Man does not completely surrender to the angels or to death, except through the weakness of his fragile will.”

And now, as if exhausted with emotion, she suffered her white arms to fall, and returned solemnly to her bed of death. And as she breathed her last sighs, there came mingled with them a low murmur from her lips. I bent to them my ear and distinguished, again, the concluding words of the passage in Glanvill—“Man doth not yield him to the angels, nor unto death utterly, save only through the weakness of his feeble will.”

And now, as if drained from all emotion, she let her pale arms drop and solemnly returned to her deathbed. As she took her final breaths, a soft murmur escaped her lips. I leaned in to listen and clearly heard the closing words from Glanvill—“Man does not surrender himself to the angels, nor to death completely, except through the weakness of his frail will.”

She died: and I, crushed into the very dust with sorrow, could no longer endure the lonely desolation of my dwelling in the dim and decaying city by the Rhine. I had no lack of what the world calls wealth. Ligeia had brought me far more, very far more than ordinarily falls to the lot of mortals. After a few months, therefore, of weary and aimless wandering, I purchased, and put in some repair, an abbey, which I shall not name, in one of the wildest and least frequented portions of fair England. The gloomy and dreary grandeur of the building, the almost savage aspect of the domain, the many melancholy and time-honored memories connected with both, had much in unison with the feelings of utter abandonment which had driven me into that remote and unsocial region of the country. Yet although the external abbey, with its verdant decay hanging about it, suffered but little alteration, I gave way, with a child-like perversity, and perchance with a faint hope of alleviating my sorrows, to a display of more than regal magnificence within. For such follies, even in childhood, I had imbibed a taste and now they came back to me as if in the dotage of grief. Alas, I feel how much even of incipient madness might have been discovered in the gorgeous and fantastic draperies, in the solemn carvings of Egypt, in the wild cornices and furniture, in the Bedlam patterns of the carpets of tufted gold! I had become a bounden slave in the trammels of opium, and my labors and my orders had taken a coloring from my dreams. But these absurdities I must not pause to detail. Let me speak only of that one chamber, ever accursed, whither in a moment of mental alienation, I led from the altar as my bride—as the successor of the unforgotten Ligeia—the fair-haired and blue-eyed Lady Rowena Trevanion, of Tremaine.

She died, and I, crushed to the point of despair, could no longer handle the lonely emptiness of my home in the dim and decaying city by the Rhine. I had plenty of what the world calls wealth. Ligeia had given me far more than most people would ever know. After a few months of tired and aimless wandering, I bought and renovated an abbey, which I won’t name, in one of the wildest and least visited parts of beautiful England. The gloomy and dreary grandeur of the building, the almost savage look of the land around it, and the many sad, time-worn memories associated with both matched my feelings of total abandonment that had driven me to this remote and lonely part of the country. Yet, even though the exterior of the abbey, with its lush decay surrounding it, changed little, I indulged, with a child-like stubbornness, and perhaps with a faint hope of easing my sorrows, in a display of more than royal splendor inside. For such extravagances, even as a child, I had developed a taste for, and now they returned to me as if in the haze of grief. Alas, I realize how much even the beginnings of madness could be seen in the beautiful and fantastical decorations, in the solemn carvings of Egypt, in the wild cornices and furniture, in the Bedlam patterns of the carpets made of tufted gold! I had become a bound slave to the chains of opium, and my efforts and commands were tinted by my dreams. But I mustn’t dwell on these absurdities. Let me only mention that one chamber, forever cursed, where in a moment of mental confusion, I led from the altar as my bride—as the successor of the unforgettable Ligeia—the fair-haired and blue-eyed Lady Rowena Trevanion of Tremaine.

There is no individual portion of the architecture and decoration of that bridal chamber which is not now visibly before me. Where were the souls of the haughty family of the bride, when, through thirst of gold, they permitted to pass the threshold of an apartment so bedecked, a maiden and a daughter so beloved? I have said that I minutely remember the details of the chamber—yet I am sadly forgetful on topics of deep moment—and here there was no system, no keeping, in the fantastic display, to take hold upon the memory. The room lay in a high turret of the castellated abbey, was pentagonal in shape, and of capacious size. Occupying the whole southern face of the pentagon was the sole window—an immense sheet of unbroken glass from Venice—a single pane, and tinted of a leaden hue, so that the rays of either the sun or moon, passing through it, fell with a ghastly lustre on the objects within. Over the upper portion of this huge window, extended the trellice-work of an aged vine, which clambered up the massy walls of the turret. The ceiling, of gloomy-looking oak, was excessively lofty, vaulted, and elaborately fretted with the wildest and most grotesque specimens of a semi-Gothic, semi-Druidical device. From out the most central recess of this melancholy vaulting, depended, by a single chain of gold with long links, a huge censer of the same metal, Saracenic in pattern, and with many perforations so contrived that there writhed in and out of them, as if endued with a serpent vitality, a continual succession of parti-colored fires.

I can clearly see every part of the architecture and decoration of that bridal chamber. Where were the spirits of the proud family of the bride when, driven by greed, they allowed a cherished maiden and daughter to enter such a lavish space? I’ve said I remember the details of the chamber well—yet I often forget important things—and here there was no organization, no coherence in the bizarre display to help me remember. The room was located in a tall turret of the castle-like abbey, shaped like a pentagon, and quite spacious. Taking up the entire southern side of the pentagon was the only window—an enormous piece of uninterrupted glass from Venice—a single pane that was lead-colored, casting an eerie glow on everything inside when sunlight or moonlight passed through it. Above this massive window, an old vine's trellis stretched, climbing the thick walls of the turret. The ceiling, made of dark oak, was very high, arched, and intricately carved with the wildest and most bizarre designs, resembling a mix of Gothic and Druidic styles. From the central recess of this gloomy vault, hung a large censer made of gold, with a single chain featuring long links. The censer was intricately designed in a Saracenic style, with many openings that allowed colorful flames to twist in and out of them, as if alive like a serpent.

Some few ottomans and golden candelabra, of Eastern figure, were in various stations about—and there was the couch, too—bridal couch—of an Indian model, and low, and sculptured of solid ebony, with a pall-like canopy above. In each of the angles of the chamber stood on end a gigantic sarcophagus of black granite, from the tombs of the kings over against Luxor, with their aged lids full of immemorial sculpture. But in the draping of the apartment lay, alas! the chief phantasy of all. The lofty walls, gigantic in height—even unproportionably so—were hung from summit to foot, in vast folds, with a heavy and massive-looking tapestry—tapestry of a material which was found alike as a carpet on the floor, as a covering for the ottomans and the ebony bed, as a canopy for the bed, and as the gorgeous volutes of the curtains which partially shaded the window. The material was the richest cloth of gold. It was spotted all over, at irregular intervals, with arabesque figures, about a foot in diameter, and wrought upon the cloth in patterns of the most jetty black. But these figures partook of the true character of the arabesque only when regarded from a single point of view. By a contrivance now common, and indeed traceable to a very remote period of antiquity, they were made changeable in aspect. To one entering the room, they bore the appearance of simple monstrosities; but upon a farther advance, this appearance gradually departed; and step by step, as the visitor moved his station in the chamber, he saw himself surrounded by an endless succession of the ghastly forms which belong to the superstition of the Norman, or arise in the guilty slumbers of the monk. The phantasmagoric effect was vastly heightened by the artificial introduction of a strong continual current of wind behind the draperies—giving a hideous and uneasy animation to the whole.

A few ottomans and golden candelabras, styled in an Eastern fashion, were placed around the room—and there was the couch too—a bridal couch of Indian design, low and sculpted from solid ebony, with a canopy overhead. In each corner of the chamber stood a massive black granite sarcophagus from the tombs of the kings near Luxor, their ancient lids adorned with timeless sculptures. But the main imagination of the room lay in its drapery. The tall walls, strikingly high—even excessively so—were draped from top to bottom in heavy, thick tapestry—made from the same material used as a carpet on the floor, as covering for the ottomans and ebony bed, as a canopy for the bed, and as the elaborate folds of the curtains that partly covered the window. The fabric was the finest golden cloth. It was dotted at irregular intervals with arabesque designs about a foot wide, embroidered in deep black patterns. However, these designs only truly resembled arabesque art when viewed from a specific angle. Using a technique common today, but traceable to ancient times, the images shifted in appearance. To someone entering the room, they seemed like mere oddities; but as they moved further in, this impression gradually faded. Step by step, as the visitor changed their position in the chamber, they found themselves surrounded by an endless array of eerie shapes associated with Norman superstition or born from the guilty dreams of a monk. The surreal effect was greatly intensified by the artificial addition of a strong, constant draft of wind behind the draperies—giving an unsettling and grotesque animation to the whole scene.

In halls such as these—in a bridal chamber such as this—I passed, with the Lady of Tremaine, the unhallowed hours of the first month of our marriage—passed them with but little disquietude. That my wife dreaded the fierce moodiness of my temper—that she shunned me and loved me but little—I could not help perceiving; but it gave me rather pleasure than otherwise. I loathed her with a hatred belonging more to demon than to man. My memory flew back, (oh, with what intensity of regret!) to Ligeia, the beloved, the august, the beautiful, the entombed. I revelled in recollections of her purity, of her wisdom, of her lofty, her ethereal nature, of her passionate, her idolatrous love. Now, then, did my spirit fully and freely burn with more than all the fires of her own. In the excitement of my opium dreams (for I was habitually fettered in the shackles of the drug) I would call aloud upon her name, during the silence of the night, or among the sheltered recesses of the glens by day, as if, through the wild eagerness, the solemn passion, the consuming ardor of my longing for the departed, I could restore her to the pathway she had abandoned—ah, could it be forever?—upon the earth.

In rooms like these—like this bridal chamber—I spent the restless hours of the first month of our marriage with the Lady of Tremaine, experiencing them with little unease. I couldn’t help noticing that my wife feared my intense mood swings; she avoided me and cared for me only a little. Strangely, this pleased me more than it troubled me. I felt a hatred for her that was more demonic than human. My mind drifted back, oh, with such deep regret, to Ligeia, the one I loved, the remarkable, the beautiful, the buried. I reveled in memories of her purity, her wisdom, her elevated, almost otherworldly essence, and her passionate, devoted love. At that moment, my spirit burned with a fieriness greater than all the flames of her own. During the thrill of my opium dreams (for I was constantly trapped in the grip of the drug), I would call out her name in the stillness of night or in the sheltered glens during the day, as if my wild yearning, deep passion, and intense desire for the lost could somehow bring her back to the path she left—oh, could it be forever?—on this earth.

About the commencement of the second month of the marriage, the Lady Rowena was attacked with sudden illness, from which her recovery was slow. The fever which consumed her rendered her nights uneasy; and in her perturbed state of half-slumber, she spoke of sounds, and of motions, in and about the chamber of the turret, which I concluded had no origin save in the distemper of her fancy, or perhaps in the phantasmagoric influences of the chamber itself. She became at length convalescent—finally well. Yet but a brief period elapsed, ere a second more violent disorder again threw her upon a bed of suffering; and from this attack her frame, at all times feeble, never altogether recovered. Her illnesses were, after this epoch, of alarming character, and of more alarming recurrence, defying alike the knowledge and the great exertions of her physicians. With the increase of the chronic disease which had thus, apparently, taken too sure hold upon her constitution to be eradicated by human means, I could not fail to observe a similar increase in the nervous irritation of her temperament, and in her excitability by trivial causes of fear. She spoke again, and now more frequently and pertinaciously, of the sounds—of the slight sounds—and of the unusual motions among the tapestries, to which she had formerly alluded.

About the start of the second month of their marriage, Lady Rowena fell suddenly ill, and her recovery was slow. The fever that affected her made her nights restless, and in her disturbed half-sleep, she talked about sounds and movements in and around the turret room, which I figured were just products of her imagination or possibly the strange effects of the room itself. Eventually, she started to get better—eventually she was well again. But it wasn’t long before a second, more severe illness left her bedridden once more; from this, her always delicate body never truly recovered. After this point, her illnesses became alarming in nature and alarmingly frequent, defying the knowledge and great efforts of her doctors. As her chronic condition seemingly took a firm hold on her body, I couldn’t help but notice a similar increase in her nervousness and sensitivity to minor fears. She began to mention the sounds again, now more often and more insistently, referring to the faint sounds and strange movements among the tapestries that she had mentioned before.

One night, near the closing in of September, she pressed this distressing subject with more than usual emphasis upon my attention. She had just awakened from an unquiet slumber, and I had been watching, with feelings half of anxiety, half of vague terror, the workings of her emaciated countenance. I sat by the side of her ebony bed, upon one of the ottomans of India. She partly arose, and spoke, in an earnest low whisper, of sounds which she then heard, but which I could not hear—of motions which she then saw, but which I could not perceive. The wind was rushing hurriedly behind the tapestries, and I wished to show her (what, let me confess it, I could not all believe) that those almost inarticulate breathings, and those very gentle variations of the figures upon the wall, were but the natural effects of that customary rushing of the wind. But a deadly pallor, overspreading her face, had proved to me that my exertions to reassure her would be fruitless. She appeared to be fainting, and no attendants were within call. I remembered where was deposited a decanter of light wine which had been ordered by her physicians, and hastened across the chamber to procure it. But, as I stepped beneath the light of the censer, two circumstances of a startling nature attracted my attention. I had felt that some palpable although invisible object had passed lightly by my person; and I saw that there lay upon the golden carpet, in the very middle of the rich lustre thrown from the censer, a shadow—a faint, indefinite shadow of angelic aspect—such as might be fancied for the shadow of a shade. But I was wild with the excitement of an immoderate dose of opium, and heeded these things but little, nor spoke of them to Rowena. Having found the wine, I recrossed the chamber, and poured out a gobletful, which I held to the lips of the fainting lady. She had now partially recovered, however, and took the vessel herself, while I sank upon an ottoman near me, with my eyes fastened upon her person. It was then that I became distinctly aware of a gentle footfall upon the carpet, and near the couch; and in a second thereafter, as Rowena was in the act of raising the wine to her lips, I saw, or may have dreamed that I saw, fall within the goblet, as if from some invisible spring in the atmosphere of the room, three or four large drops of a brilliant and ruby colored fluid. If this I saw—not so Rowena. She swallowed the wine unhesitatingly, and I forbore to speak to her of a circumstance which must, after all, I considered, have been but the suggestion of a vivid imagination, rendered morbidly active by the terror of the lady, by the opium, and by the hour.

One night, near the end of September, she insisted on discussing this troubling topic with more urgency than usual. She had just woken from a restless sleep, and I was watching, feeling both anxious and vaguely terrified, the features of her gaunt face. I sat beside her dark bed, on one of the Indian ottomans. She sat up partially and spoke in a low, earnest whisper about sounds she heard, which I couldn’t hear—about movements she saw, which I couldn’t perceive. The wind was rushing quickly behind the curtains, and I wanted to show her (though, I confess, I couldn't fully believe it) that those nearly inaudible breaths and the subtle shifts of the patterns on the wall were just natural results of the wind. But the deadly pallor spreading across her face made it clear to me that my efforts to reassure her would be pointless. She looked like she was about to faint, and there were no attendants nearby. I remembered that there was a decanter of light wine her doctors had ordered, so I hurried across the room to get it. But as I stepped under the light of the censer, two surprising things caught my attention. I felt something tangible but invisible brush past me and noticed a faint, unclear shadow with an angelic appearance lying on the golden carpet, right in the glowing light from the censer—something that could be imagined as the shadow of a shade. However, I was overwhelmed by the effects of a strong dose of opium and paid little attention to these things, nor did I mention them to Rowena. After finding the wine, I crossed the room again and poured a goblet, which I held to the lips of the fainting lady. She had started to recover somewhat and took the goblet from me, while I sank onto an ottoman nearby, my eyes fixed on her. That’s when I clearly noticed a soft footstep on the carpet, near the couch; and just as Rowena was about to bring the wine to her lips, I saw—or maybe dreamed I saw—three or four large drops of a bright, ruby-colored liquid fall into the goblet, as if from some invisible source in the room’s atmosphere. But Rowena didn’t see this. She drank the wine without hesitation, and I held back from mentioning what I thought was just a figment of a vivid imagination, made overly active by her fear, the opium, and the time of night.

Yet I cannot conceal it from my own perception that, immediately subsequent to the fall of the ruby-drops, a rapid change for the worse took place in the disorder of my wife; so that, on the third subsequent night, the hands of her menials prepared her for the tomb, and on the fourth, I sat alone, with her shrouded body, in that fantastic chamber which had received her as my bride. Wild visions, opium-engendered, flitted, shadow-like, before me. I gazed with unquiet eye upon the sarcophagi in the angles of the room, upon the varying figures of the drapery, and upon the writhing of the parti-colored fires in the censer overhead. My eyes then fell, as I called to mind the circumstances of a former night, to the spot beneath the glare of the censer where I had seen the faint traces of the shadow. It was there, however, no longer; and breathing with greater freedom, I turned my glances to the pallid and rigid figure upon the bed. Then rushed upon me a thousand memories of Ligeia—and then came back upon my heart, with the turbulent violence of a flood, the whole of that unutterable woe with which I had regarded her thus enshrouded. The night waned; and still, with a bosom full of bitter thoughts of the one only and supremely beloved, I remained gazing upon the body of Rowena.

Yet I can’t hide from myself that right after the ruby drops fell, my wife’s condition took a quick turn for the worse. So, on the third night after that, her attendants were preparing her for the grave, and on the fourth, I found myself alone with her wrapped body in that strange room where she had entered as my bride. Wild visions, fueled by opium, flitted like shadows in front of me. I looked with restless eyes at the sarcophagi in the corners, at the flowing patterns of the drapery, and at the twisting, colorful flames in the censer above. My gaze then fell, as I remembered a previous night, to the spot under the bright light of the censer where I had seen the faint hints of a shadow. It was gone now; breathing a little easier, I turned my eyes to the pale, stiff figure on the bed. Suddenly, a flood of memories of Ligeia rushed over me, bringing back all the unbearable sorrow I felt seeing her like this. The night wore on, and still, with a heart full of bitter thoughts of my one true love, I sat staring at Rowena’s body.

It might have been midnight, or perhaps earlier, or later, for I had taken no note of time, when a sob, low, gentle, but very distinct, startled me from my revery. I felt that it came from the bed of ebony—the bed of death. I listened in an agony of superstitious terror—but there was no repetition of the sound. I strained my vision to detect any motion in the corpse—but there was not the slightest perceptible. Yet I could not have been deceived. I had heard the noise, however faint, and my soul was awakened within me. I resolutely and perseveringly kept my attention riveted upon the body. Many minutes elapsed before any circumstance occurred tending to throw light upon the mystery. At length it became evident that a slight, a very feeble, and barely noticeable tinge of color had flushed up within the cheeks, and along the sunken small veins of the eyelids. Through a species of unutterable horror and awe, for which the language of mortality has no sufficiently energetic expression, I felt my heart cease to beat, my limbs grow rigid where I sat. Yet a sense of duty finally operated to restore my self-possession. I could no longer doubt that we had been precipitate in our preparations—that Rowena still lived. It was necessary that some immediate exertion be made; yet the turret was altogether apart from the portion of the abbey tenanted by the servants—there were none within call—I had no means of summoning them to my aid without leaving the room for many minutes—and this I could not venture to do. I therefore struggled alone in my endeavors to call back the spirit ill hovering. In a short period it was certain, however, that a relapse had taken place; the color disappeared from both eyelid and cheek, leaving a wanness even more than that of marble; the lips became doubly shrivelled and pinched up in the ghastly expression of death; a repulsive clamminess and coldness overspread rapidly the surface of the body; and all the usual rigorous illness immediately supervened. I fell back with a shudder upon the couch from which I had been so startlingly aroused, and again gave myself up to passionate waking visions of Ligeia.

It might have been midnight, or maybe earlier or later, since I hadn't paid any attention to the time, when a sob, soft and gentle but very clear, startled me from my daydream. I sensed it came from the ebony bed—the bed of death. I listened in a panic of superstitious fear, but the sound didn't happen again. I strained my eyes to see any movement in the corpse, but there was not the slightest hint. Yet I couldn't have been mistaken. I had heard the noise, however faint, and my soul was awakened within me. I stubbornly kept my focus on the body. Many minutes passed before anything happened that might clarify the mystery. Finally, it became clear that a slight, very faint, and barely noticeable blush had appeared on the cheeks and along the sunken veins of the eyelids. Through a kind of indescribable horror and awe, for which there are no adequate words, I felt my heart stop beating, my limbs go stiff where I sat. Yet a sense of duty eventually helped me regain my composure. I could no longer doubt that we had rushed in our preparations—that Rowena was still alive. I needed to take immediate action; however, the turret was completely separate from the part of the abbey where the servants lived—there was no one nearby—I had no way to call for them without leaving the room for many minutes—and I couldn't risk doing that. So, I struggled alone in my attempts to bring back the spirit that was faintly lingering. Shortly, though, it became clear that a relapse had occurred; the color faded from both eyelid and cheek, leaving an even paler hue than that of marble; the lips became even more shriveled and tight in the ghastly expression of death; a disgusting coldness quickly covered the surface of the body, and all the usual severe symptoms of illness immediately followed. I fell back with a shudder onto the couch from which I had been so startlingly awakened and once again surrendered myself to passionate waking visions of Ligeia.

An hour thus elapsed when (could it be possible?) I was a second time aware of some vague sound issuing from the region of the bed. I listened—in extremity of horror. The sound came again—it was a sigh. Rushing to the corpse, I saw—distinctly saw—a tremor upon the lips. In a minute afterward they relaxed, disclosing a bright line of the pearly teeth. Amazement now struggled in my bosom with the profound awe which had hitherto reigned there alone. I felt that my vision grew dim, that my reason wandered; and it was only by a violent effort that I at length succeeded in nerving myself to the task which duty thus once more had pointed out. There was now a partial glow upon the forehead and upon the cheek and throat; a perceptible warmth pervaded the whole frame; there was even a slight pulsation at the heart. The lady lived; and with redoubled ardor I betook myself to the task of restoration. I chafed and bathed the temples and the hands, and used every exertion which experience, and no little medical reading, could suggest. But in vain. Suddenly, the color fled, the pulsation ceased, the lips resumed the expression of the dead, and, in an instant afterward, the whole body took upon itself the icy chilliness, the livid hue, the intense rigidity, the sunken outline, and all the loathsome peculiarities of that which has been, for many days, a tenant of the tomb.

An hour passed when, could it be possible? I heard a vague sound coming from the bed again. I listened, filled with horror. The sound came again—it was a sigh. Rushing to the corpse, I distinctly saw a tremor on the lips. A minute later, they relaxed, revealing a bright line of pearly teeth. Amazement now battled with the deep awe that had reigned in my heart until then. I felt my vision dim, my mind wander; and it was only through a strong effort that I managed to force myself to the task that fate had laid before me once more. There was now a slight glow on the forehead and on the cheeks and throat; a noticeable warmth spread throughout the body; there was even a faint pulsation at the heart. The lady was alive; and with renewed determination, I focused on restoring her. I rubbed and bathed her temples and hands, and used every bit of knowledge I had gained from experience and a bit of medical reading. But it was all in vain. Suddenly, the color drained away, the pulsation stopped, the lips returned to that dead expression, and in an instant, the whole body turned icy, took on a pale hue, became intensely stiff, had sunken features, and all the disgusting traits of something that has been in the grave for many days.

And again I sunk into visions of Ligeia—and again, (what marvel that I shudder while I write?), again there reached my ears a low sob from the region of the ebony bed. But why shall I minutely detail the unspeakable horrors of that night? Why shall I pause to relate how, time after time, until near the period of the gray dawn, this hideous drama of revivification was repeated; how each terrific relapse was only into a sterner and apparently more irredeemable death; how each agony wore the aspect of a struggle with some invisible foe; and how each struggle was succeeded by I know not what of wild change in the personal appearance of the corpse? Let me hurry to a conclusion.

And once again, I slipped into thoughts of Ligeia—and again, (is it any wonder that I shudder as I write this?), once more I heard a faint sob from the vicinity of the ebony bed. But why should I go into the dreadful details of that night? Why should I take the time to describe how, time and time again, until close to the gray dawn, this terrifying cycle of revival occurred; how each horrifying relapse only led to a harsher and seemingly more permanent death; how each agony looked like a battle with some unseen enemy; and how each struggle was followed by some unknown wild change in the corpse's appearance? Let me get to the point.

The greater part of the fearful night had worn away, and she who had been dead, once again stirred—and now more vigorously than hitherto, although arousing from a dissolution more appalling in its utter hopelessness than any. I had long ceased to struggle or to move, and remained sitting rigidly upon the ottoman, a helpless prey to a whirl of violent emotions, of which extreme awe was perhaps the least terrible, the least consuming. The corpse, I repeat, stirred, and now more vigorously than before. The hues of life flushed up with unwonted energy into the countenance—the limbs relaxed—and, save that the eyelids were yet pressed heavily together, and that the bandages and draperies of the grave still imparted their charnel character to the figure, I might have dreamed that Rowena had indeed shaken off, utterly, the fetters of Death. But if this idea was not, even then, altogether adopted, I could at least doubt no longer, when, arising from the bed, tottering, with feeble steps, with closed eyes, and with the manner of one bewildered in a dream, the thing that was enshrouded advanced boldly and palpably into the middle of the apartment.

The majority of the terrifying night had passed, and the woman who had been dead began to stir again—this time more energetically than before, even though she was waking up from a state more horrific in its utter hopelessness than anything I had ever experienced. I had long stopped struggling or moving, remaining rigid on the ottoman, helpless against a storm of intense emotions, of which extreme awe was perhaps the least overwhelming. The corpse, I repeat, stirred, and now even more forcefully than earlier. The colors of life surged back with unusual energy to her face—the limbs relaxed—and, apart from the heavy lids still pressed shut and the burial wrappings that still gave her figure the appearance of a corpse, I might have thought Rowena had completely shed the chains of Death. But even if I wasn't fully convinced of this idea, I could no longer doubt when, rising from the bed, unsteady on her feet, with her eyes closed and moving like someone confused in a dream, the figure wrapped in coverings boldly and distinctly stepped into the middle of the room.

I trembled not—I stirred not—for a crowd of unutterable fancies connected with the air, the stature, the demeanor of the figure, rushing hurriedly through my brain, had paralyzed—had chilled me into stone. I stirred not—but gazed upon the apparition. There was a mad disorder in my thoughts—a tumult unappeasable. Could it, indeed, be the living Rowena who confronted me? Could it indeed be Rowena at all—the fair-haired, the blue-eyed Lady Rowena Trevanion of Tremaine? Why, why should I doubt it? The bandage lay heavily about the mouth—but then might it not be the mouth of the breathing Lady of Tremaine? And the cheeks—there were the roses as in her noon of life—yes, these might indeed be the fair cheeks of the living Lady of Tremaine. And the chin, with its dimples, as in health, might it not be hers?—but had she then grown taller since her malady? What inexpressible madness seized me with that thought? One bound, and I had reached her feet! Shrinking from my touch, she let fall from her head, unloosened, the ghastly cerements which had confined it, and there streamed forth, into the rushing atmosphere of the chamber, huge masses of long and dishevelled hair; it was blacker than the raven wings of the midnight! And now slowly opened the eyes of the figure which stood before me. “Here then, at least,” I shrieked aloud, “can I never—can I never be mistaken—these are the full, and the black, and the wild eyes—of my lost love—of the Lady—of the LADY LIGEIA.”

I didn’t move—I didn’t stir—because a whirlwind of overwhelming thoughts connected to the figure’s presence, appearance, and demeanor rushed through my mind, paralyzing me—freezing me in place. I remained still—but just stared at the ghostly figure. My mind was in chaotic disarray—an unquenchable turmoil. Could it really be the living Rowena standing in front of me? Could it truly be Rowena at all—the fair-haired, blue-eyed Lady Rowena Trevanion of Tremaine? Why should I doubt it? The bandage was tightly wrapped around her mouth—but could it not belong to the living Lady of Tremaine? And the cheeks—they still had the youthful roses as in her prime—yes, they could indeed be the lovely cheeks of the living Lady of Tremaine. And the chin, with its dimples, just as it was in health, could it not be hers?—but had she really grown taller since her illness? What unspeakable madness gripped me with that thought? In one leap, I reached her feet! Recoiling from my touch, she loosened the ghastly wrappings that confined her head, and vast amounts of long, tangled hair flowed forth into the swirling air of the room; it was darker than a raven's wings at midnight! And now the eyes of the figure standing before me slowly opened. “Here then, at least,” I cried out, “can I never—can I never be mistaken—these are the full, dark, and wild eyes—of my lost love—of the Lady—of the LADY LIGEIA.”

MORELLA

Itself, by itself, solely, one everlasting, and single.
                    —PLATOSympos.

Itself, by itself, solely, one everlasting, and single.
                    —PLATOSympos.

With a feeling of deep yet most singular affection I regarded my friend Morella. Thrown by accident into her society many years ago, my soul from our first meeting, burned with fires it had never before known; but the fires were not of Eros, and bitter and tormenting to my spirit was the gradual conviction that I could in no manner define their unusual meaning or regulate their vague intensity. Yet we met; and fate bound us together at the altar; and I never spoke of passion nor thought of love. She, however, shunned society, and, attaching herself to me alone rendered me happy. It is a happiness to wonder; it is a happiness to dream.

With a deep but unique affection, I looked at my friend Morella. Thrown together by chance many years ago, my soul, from our very first meeting, burned with feelings I'd never experienced before; but these feelings weren’t about romantic love, and it was both painful and frustrating for me to realize that I couldn’t define their strange significance or control their unclear intensity. Still, we met, and fate united us at the altar; I never spoke of passion or thought about love. However, she avoided society and clung to me alone, which made me happy. It's a joy to wonder; it's a joy to dream.

Morella’s erudition was profound. As I hope to live, her talents were of no common order—her powers of mind were gigantic. I felt this, and, in many matters, became her pupil. I soon, however, found that, perhaps on account of her Presburg education, she placed before me a number of those mystical writings which are usually considered the mere dross of the early German literature. These, for what reason I could not imagine, were her favourite and constant study—and that in process of time they became my own, should be attributed to the simple but effectual influence of habit and example.

Morella was incredibly knowledgeable. As I hope to live, her abilities were exceptional—her mental powers were immense. I recognized this and became her student in many ways. However, I soon realized that, possibly because of her education in Presburg, she introduced me to a lot of mystical writings often dismissed as the lesser works of early German literature. For reasons I couldn't understand, these were her favorite and constant source of study—and over time, they became mine as well, thanks to the straightforward yet powerful influence of habit and example.

In all this, if I err not, my reason had little to do. My convictions, or I forget myself, were in no manner acted upon by the ideal, nor was any tincture of the mysticism which I read to be discovered, unless I am greatly mistaken, either in my deeds or in my thoughts. Persuaded of this, I abandoned myself implicitly to the guidance of my wife, and entered with an unflinching heart into the intricacies of her studies. And then—then, when, poring over forbidden pages, I felt a forbidden spirit enkindling within me—would Morella place her cold hand upon my own, and rake up from the ashes of a dead philosophy some low, singular words, whose strange meaning burned themselves in upon my memory. And then, hour after hour, would I linger by her side, and dwell upon the music of her voice, until at length its melody was tainted with terror, and there fell a shadow upon my soul, and I grew pale, and shuddered inwardly at those too unearthly tones. And thus, joy suddenly faded into horror, and the most beautiful became the most hideous, as Hinnon became Ge-Henna.

In all of this, if I'm not mistaken, my logic had little influence. My beliefs, unless I'm forgetting something, weren't influenced by the ideal, nor was there any hint of the mysticism I read about to be found, either in my actions or in my thoughts. Confident in this, I fully allowed my wife to guide me and entered fearlessly into the complexities of her studies. And then—then, as I poured over forbidden pages, I felt a forbidden spirit igniting within me—Morella would place her cold hand on mine and pull up from the embers of a dead philosophy some strange, unique words, whose odd meanings burned into my memory. Hour after hour, I would linger by her side, captivated by the music of her voice, until finally its melody became tainted with fear, casting a shadow over my soul. I grew pale and shuddered inwardly at those unearthly tones. Thus, joy suddenly turned into horror, and what was once beautiful became the most grotesque, as Hinnon became Ge-Henna.

It is unnecessary to state the exact character of those disquisitions which, growing out of the volumes I have mentioned, formed, for so long a time, almost the sole conversation of Morella and myself. By the learned in what might be termed theological morality they will be readily conceived, and by the unlearned they would, at all events, be little understood. The wild Pantheism of Fichte; the modified Paliggenedia of the Pythagoreans; and, above all, the doctrines of Identity as urged by Schelling, were generally the points of discussion presenting the most of beauty to the imaginative Morella. That identity which is termed personal, Mr. Locke, I think, truly defines to consist in the saneness of rational being. And since by person we understand an intelligent essence having reason, and since there is a consciousness which always accompanies thinking, it is this which makes us all to be that which we call ourselves—thereby distinguishing us from other beings that think, and giving us our personal identity. But the principium indivduationis, the notion of that identity which at death is or is not lost forever—was to me, at all times, a consideration of intense interest; not more from the perplexing and exciting nature of its consequences, than from the marked and agitated manner in which Morella mentioned them.

It’s not necessary to explain the exact nature of the discussions that arose from the books I’ve mentioned, which formed, for such a long time, almost the only conversations between Morella and me. Those well-versed in what could be called theological morality will easily understand, while those less knowledgeable would probably grasp very little. The wild Pantheism of Fichte, the modified Palingenesis of the Pythagoreans, and especially the doctrines of Identity as presented by Schelling were usually the topics that most captivated the imaginative Morella. That identity referred to as personal, as Mr. Locke accurately describes, consists in the consistency of rational existence. Since we define a person as an intelligent essence with reason, and since there is a consciousness that always accompanies thinking, this is what makes each of us what we call ourselves—distinguishing us from other thinking beings and providing us with our personal identity. However, the principium individuationis, the idea of whether that identity is or is not lost forever at death—has always been a deeply fascinating consideration for me; not merely for the confusing and thrilling nature of its implications, but also due to the intense and emotional way in which Morella spoke of them.

But, indeed, the time had now arrived when the mystery of my wife’s manner oppressed me as a spell. I could no longer bear the touch of her wan fingers, nor the low tone of her musical language, nor the lustre of her melancholy eyes. And she knew all this, but did not upbraid; she seemed conscious of my weakness or my folly, and, smiling, called it Fate. She seemed, also, conscious of a cause, to me unknown, for the gradual alienation of my regard; but she gave me no hint or token of its nature. Yet was she woman, and pined away daily. In time the crimson spot settled steadily upon the cheek, and the blue veins upon the pale forehead became prominent; and one instant my nature melted into pity, but in, next I met the glance of her meaning eyes, and then my soul sickened and became giddy with the giddiness of one who gazes downward into some dreary and unfathomable abyss.

But really, the time had come when the mystery of my wife’s behavior weighed heavily on me like a spell. I could no longer stand the touch of her pale fingers, the sound of her soft voice, or the sorrowful sparkle in her eyes. And she was aware of this without criticizing me; she seemed to know about my weakness or foolishness and, smiling, called it Fate. She also seemed to be aware of a reason, unknown to me, for the slow distancing of my affection; but she gave me no indication of what it was. Yet she was still a woman, and she faded away a little more each day. Eventually, the reddish spot settled firmly on her cheek, and the blue veins became more pronounced on her pale forehead; one moment my heart filled with pity, but the next I caught the look in her meaningful eyes, and then my soul felt nauseous and dizzy, like someone staring into a dark, endless abyss.

Shall I then say that I longed with an earnest and consuming desire for the moment of Morella’s decease? I did; but the fragile spirit clung to its tenement of clay for many days—for many weeks and irksome months, until my tortured nerves obtained the mastery over my mind, and I grew furious through delay, and, with the heart of a fiend, cursed the days and the hours and the bitter moments, which seemed to lengthen and lengthen as her gentle life declined—like shadows in the dying of the day.

Should I say that I desperately and intensely wanted the moment of Morella's death? I did; but her frail spirit held on to its body for many days—for many weeks and frustrating months, until my tormented nerves took control of my mind, and I became enraged by the delay. With a heart full of hatred, I cursed the days, the hours, and the painful moments that seemed to stretch on endlessly as her gentle life faded away—like shadows at the end of the day.

But one autumnal evening, when the winds lay still in heaven, Morella called me to her bedside. There was a dim mist over all the earth, and a warm glow upon the waters, and amid the rich October leaves of the forest, a rainbow from the firmament had surely fallen.

But one autumn evening, when the winds were calm in the sky, Morella called me to her bedside. There was a faint mist over the earth, a warm glow on the water, and among the vibrant October leaves in the forest, a rainbow had surely fallen from the heavens.

“It is a day of days,” she said, as I approached; “a day of all days either to live or die. It is a fair day for the sons of earth and life—ah, more fair for the daughters of heaven and death!”

“It’s a day like no other,” she said as I got closer; “a day that’s crucial for living or dying. It’s a beautiful day for the sons of the earth and life—ah, even more beautiful for the daughters of heaven and death!”

I kissed her forehead, and she continued:

I kissed her forehead, and she went on:

“I am dying, yet shall I live.”

“I am dying, but I will live.”

“Morella!”

"Morella!"

“The days have never been when thou couldst love me—but her whom in life thou didst abhor, in death thou shalt adore.”

“The days have never been when you could love me—but her whom in life you hated, in death you will adore.”

“Morella!”

“Morella!”

“I repeat that I am dying. But within me is a pledge of that affection—ah, how little!—which thou didst feel for me, Morella. And when my spirit departs shall the child live—thy child and mine, Morella’s. But thy days shall be days of sorrow—that sorrow which is the most lasting of impressions, as the cypress is the most enduring of trees. For the hours of thy happiness are over and joy is not gathered twice in a life, as the roses of Paestum twice in a year. Thou shalt no longer, then, play the Teian with time, but, being ignorant of the myrtle and the vine, thou shalt bear about with thee thy shroud on the earth, as do the Moslemin at Mecca.”

“I say again that I am dying. But deep inside, I hold a reminder of that love—oh, how small!—that you once had for me, Morella. And when my spirit leaves, our child will live on—your child and mine, Morella’s. But your days will be filled with sorrow—that sorrow that leaves the deepest mark, just like the cypress tree lasts the longest. For your moments of happiness are gone, and joy doesn’t come around twice in life, like the roses of Paestum only bloom twice a year. You will no longer play with time, but, unaware of the myrtle and the vine, you will carry your shroud with you on earth, just like the Muslims do at Mecca.”

“Morella!” I cried, “Morella! how knowest thou this?” but she turned away her face upon the pillow and a slight tremor coming over her limbs, she thus died, and I heard her voice no more.

“Morella!” I called, “Morella! How do you know this?” but she turned her face into the pillow, and with a slight tremor in her limbs, she died, and I heard her voice no more.

Yet, as she had foretold, her child, to which in dying she had given birth, which breathed not until the mother breathed no more, her child, a daughter, lived. And she grew strangely in stature and intellect, and was the perfect resemblance of her who had departed, and I loved her with a love more fervent than I had believed it possible to feel for any denizen of earth.

Yet, as she had predicted, her child, which she gave birth to in her final moments and did not breathe until the mother had passed, lived on. This child, a daughter, grew in size and intelligence in a remarkable way, resembling perfectly the mother who was gone, and I loved her with a passion more intense than I ever thought possible for anyone on this earth.

But, ere long the heaven of this pure affection became darkened, and gloom, and horror, and grief swept over it in clouds. I said the child grew strangely in stature and intelligence. Strange, indeed, was her rapid increase in bodily size—but terrible, oh! terrible were the tumultuous thoughts which crowded upon me while watching the development of her mental being. Could it be otherwise, when I daily discovered in the conceptions of the child the adult powers and faculties of the woman?—when the lessons of experience fell from the lips of infancy? and when the wisdom or the passions of maturity I found hourly gleaming from its full and speculative eye? When, I say, all this became evident to my appalled senses—when I could no longer hide it from my soul, nor throw it off from those perceptions which trembled to receive it—is it to be wondered at that suspicions, of a nature fearful and exciting, crept in upon my spirit, or that my thoughts fell back aghast upon the wild tales and thrilling theories of the entombed Morella? I snatched from the scrutiny of the world a being whom destiny compelled me to adore, and in the rigorous seclusion of my home, watched with an agonizing anxiety over all which concerned the beloved.

But soon the bliss of this pure love turned dark, and gloom, horror, and grief swept over it like clouds. I mentioned that the child grew unusually in size and intelligence. It was indeed strange how quickly she was growing physically, but what was truly terrifying were the chaotic thoughts that overwhelmed me as I observed her mental development. How could it be any different when I saw in the child's ideas the adult powers and capabilities of a woman?—when the lessons of life came from the lips of someone so young? And when the wisdom or emotions of adulthood seemed to shine from her full, thoughtful eyes? When I say all this became clear to my terrified senses—when I could no longer deny it to myself or shake it off from those perceptions that trembled to acknowledge it—is it any wonder that chilling and exciting suspicions crept into my mind, or that my thoughts recoiled in horror at the wild stories and thrilling theories of the buried Morella? I took from the scrutiny of the world a being whom fate forced me to love, and in the strict isolation of my home, I anxiously watched everything that concerned my beloved.

And as years rolled away, and I gazed day after day upon her holy, and mild, and eloquent face, and poured over her maturing form, day after day did I discover new points of resemblance in the child to her mother, the melancholy and the dead. And hourly grew darker these shadows of similitude, and more full, and more definite, and more perplexing, and more hideously terrible in their aspect. For that her smile was like her mother’s I could bear; but then I shuddered at its too perfect identity—that her eyes were like Morella’s I could endure; but then they, too, often looked down into the depths of my soul with Morella’s own intense and bewildering meaning. And in the contour of the high forehead, and in the ringlets of the silken hair, and in the wan fingers which buried themselves therein, and in the sad musical tones of her speech, and above all—oh! above all—in the phrases and expressions of the dead on the lips of the loved and the living, I found food for consuming thought and horror—for a worm that would not die.

And as the years went by, I looked day after day at her holy, gentle, and expressive face, and examined her growing body. Each day, I noticed new ways the child resembled her mother, who was both sad and gone. The shadows of that similarity became darker, more pronounced, more confusing, and increasingly terrifying in their appearance. I could accept that her smile was like her mother’s, but then I recoiled at how strikingly similar it was—her eyes were like Morella’s, which I could handle; yet they often seemed to gaze into the depths of my soul with Morella’s own intense and puzzling meaning. In the shape of her high forehead, the curls of her silky hair, the pale fingers that buried themselves in it, the mournful musicality of her speech, and above all—oh! above all—the words and expressions of the deceased on the lips of the beloved and the living, I found material for consuming thoughts and horror—a torment that wouldn’t die.

Thus passed away two lustra of her life, and as yet my daughter remained nameless upon the earth. “My child,” and “my love,” were the designations usually prompted by a father’s affection, and the rigid seclusion of her days precluded all other intercourse. Morella’s name died with her at her death. Of the mother I had never spoken to the daughter;—it was impossible to speak. Indeed, during the brief period of her existence, the latter had received no impressions from the outward world, save such as might have been afforded by the narrow limits of her privacy. But at length the ceremony of baptism presented to my mind, in its unnerved and agitated condition, a present deliverance from the terrors of my destiny. And at the baptismal font I hesitated for a name. And many titles of the wise and beautiful, of old and modern times, of my own and foreign lands, came thronging to my lips, with many, many fair titles of the gentle, and the happy, and the good. What prompted me then to disturb the memory of the buried dead? What demon urged me to breathe that sound, which in its very recollection was wont to make ebb the purple blood in torrents from the temples to the heart? What fiend spoke from the recesses of my soul, when amid those dim aisles, and in the silence of the night, I whispered within the ears of the holy man the syllables—Morella? What more than fiend convulsed the features of my child, and overspread them with hues of death, as starting at that scarcely audible sound, she turned her glassy eyes from the earth to heaven, and falling prostrate on the black slabs of our ancestral vault, responded—“I am here!”

So two five-year periods of her life passed, and my daughter still remained nameless in this world. “My child” and “my love” were the names I usually called her, driven by a father’s affection, and her strict confinement kept her from all other interactions. Morella’s name died with her. I had never mentioned her mother to my daughter; it just wasn’t possible. In fact, during the brief time she had been alive, she had experienced no influences from the outside world, except for those few interactions allowed by her limited solitude. However, the baptism ceremony finally brought to my mind, in its shaky and anxious state, a chance to escape the fears of my fate. At the baptismal font, I hesitated over a name. Many names of wise and beautiful figures from both ancient and modern times, from my own country and others, surged to my lips, along with countless lovely names of the kind, the joyful, and the good. What made me think to disturb the memory of the dead? What force pushed me to utter that name, which just recalling it would make the blood drain from my temples to my heart? What dark force spoke from deep within me when, in those shadowy aisles and in the silence of the night, I whispered to the holy man the name—Morella? What else but a dark force twisted my child’s features and covered them with the colors of death, as she, startled by that barely audible sound, turned her glassy eyes from the earth to the sky, and collapsed on the cold stones of our family crypt, responding—“I am here!”

Distinct, coldly, calmly distinct, fell those few simple sounds within my ear, and thence like molten lead rolled hissingly into my brain. Years—years may pass away, but the memory of that epoch—never! Nor was I indeed ignorant of the flowers and the vine—but the hemlock and the cypress overshadowed me night and day. And I kept no reckoning of time or place, and the stars of my fate faded from heaven, and therefore the earth grew dark, and its figures passed by me like flitting shadows, and among them all I beheld only—Morella. The winds of the firmament breathed but one sound within my ears, and the ripples upon the sea murmured evermore—Morella. But she died; and with my own hands I bore her to the tomb; and I laughed with a long and bitter laugh as I found no traces of the first in the charnel where I laid the second, Morella.

Clearly, coldly, and calmly, those few simple sounds fell into my ear and then rolled hissingly into my brain like molten lead. Years may pass, but the memory of that time—never! I wasn't oblivious to the flowers and the vines, but the hemlock and the cypress overshadowed me day and night. I lost track of time and place, the stars of my fate faded from the sky, and the earth grew dark, with its figures passing by me like fleeting shadows. Among them all, I saw only—Morella. The winds of the heavens whispered just one name in my ears, and the waves on the sea constantly murmured—Morella. But she died; and with my own hands, I carried her to the grave; and I laughed a long and bitter laugh when I found no sign of the first in the charnel where I laid the second, Morella.

A TALE OF THE RAGGED MOUNTAINS

During the fall of the year 1827, while residing near Charlottesville, Virginia, I casually made the acquaintance of Mr. Augustus Bedloe. This young gentleman was remarkable in every respect, and excited in me a profound interest and curiosity. I found it impossible to comprehend him either in his moral or his physical relations. Of his family I could obtain no satisfactory account. Whence he came, I never ascertained. Even about his age—although I call him a young gentleman—there was something which perplexed me in no little degree. He certainly seemed young—and he made a point of speaking about his youth—yet there were moments when I should have had little trouble in imagining him a hundred years of age. But in no regard was he more peculiar than in his personal appearance. He was singularly tall and thin. He stooped much. His limbs were exceedingly long and emaciated. His forehead was broad and low. His complexion was absolutely bloodless. His mouth was large and flexible, and his teeth were more wildly uneven, although sound, than I had ever before seen teeth in a human head. The expression of his smile, however, was by no means unpleasing, as might be supposed; but it had no variation whatever. It was one of profound melancholy—of a phaseless and unceasing gloom. His eyes were abnormally large, and round like those of a cat. The pupils, too, upon any accession or diminution of light, underwent contraction or dilation, just such as is observed in the feline tribe. In moments of excitement the orbs grew bright to a degree almost inconceivable; seeming to emit luminous rays, not of a reflected but of an intrinsic lustre, as does a candle or the sun; yet their ordinary condition was so totally vapid, filmy, and dull as to convey the idea of the eyes of a long-interred corpse.

In the fall of 1827, while living near Charlottesville, Virginia, I unexpectedly met Mr. Augustus Bedloe. This young man was remarkable in every way and sparked a deep interest and curiosity in me. I found it impossible to understand him, both morally and physically. I couldn't get any clear details about his family. I never figured out where he came from. Even regarding his age—though I refer to him as a young man—there was something that puzzled me to quite an extent. He certainly seemed young, and he often talked about his youth, yet there were moments when I could easily imagine him being a hundred years old. But he was most peculiar in his appearance. He was unusually tall and thin, and he stooped significantly. His limbs were extremely long and gaunt. He had a broad, low forehead, and his complexion was completely devoid of color. His mouth was large and flexible, and his teeth were wildly uneven, though they were healthy—more so than any other teeth I had ever seen in a person. However, his smile was not displeasing, as one might expect; instead, it was marked by an expression of profound melancholy—an unchanging and constant gloom. His eyes were unusually large and round, like a cat's. The pupils would contract or dilate with changes in light, just like those observed in cats. In moments of excitement, his eyes would brighten almost beyond belief, seeming to emit their own light, not just reflecting it, like a candle or the sun; yet their usual state was so lifeless, dull, and foggy that they reminded me of the eyes of a long-buried corpse.

These peculiarities of person appeared to cause him much annoyance, and he was continually alluding to them in a sort of half explanatory, half apologetic strain, which, when I first heard it, impressed me very painfully. I soon, however, grew accustomed to it, and my uneasiness wore off. It seemed to be his design rather to insinuate than directly to assert that, physically, he had not always been what he was—that a long series of neuralgic attacks had reduced him from a condition of more than usual personal beauty, to that which I saw. For many years past he had been attended by a physician, named Templeton—an old gentleman, perhaps seventy years of age—whom he had first encountered at Saratoga, and from whose attention, while there, he either received, or fancied that he received, great benefit. The result was that Bedloe, who was wealthy, had made an arrangement with Dr. Templeton, by which the latter, in consideration of a liberal annual allowance, had consented to devote his time and medical experience exclusively to the care of the invalid.

These quirks of his personality seemed to annoy him a lot, and he kept bringing them up in a way that was part explanation and part apology, which, when I first heard it, made me feel quite uncomfortable. I eventually got used to it, and my discomfort faded. It seemed like he intended to suggest rather than directly state that, physically, he hadn’t always been like he was now—that a long series of painful attacks had diminished him from a state of above-average attractiveness to what I observed. For many years, he had been treated by a doctor named Templeton—an older gentleman, probably in his seventies—whom he had first met at Saratoga, and from whose care, while there, he either benefited greatly or at least believed he did. As a result, Bedloe, who was wealthy, arranged for Dr. Templeton to focus solely on caring for him in exchange for a generous annual payment.

Doctor Templeton had been a traveller in his younger days, and at Paris had become a convert, in great measure, to the doctrines of Mesmer. It was altogether by means of magnetic remedies that he had succeeded in alleviating the acute pains of his patient; and this success had very naturally inspired the latter with a certain degree of confidence in the opinions from which the remedies had been educed. The Doctor, however, like all enthusiasts, had struggled hard to make a thorough convert of his pupil, and finally so far gained his point as to induce the sufferer to submit to numerous experiments. By a frequent repetition of these, a result had arisen, which of late days has become so common as to attract little or no attention, but which, at the period of which I write, had very rarely been known in America. I mean to say, that between Doctor Templeton and Bedloe there had grown up, little by little, a very distinct and strongly marked rapport, or magnetic relation. I am not prepared to assert, however, that this rapport extended beyond the limits of the simple sleep-producing power, but this power itself had attained great intensity. At the first attempt to induce the magnetic somnolency, the mesmerist entirely failed. In the fifth or sixth he succeeded very partially, and after long continued effort. Only at the twelfth was the triumph complete. After this the will of the patient succumbed rapidly to that of the physician, so that, when I first became acquainted with the two, sleep was brought about almost instantaneously by the mere volition of the operator, even when the invalid was unaware of his presence. It is only now, in the year 1845, when similar miracles are witnessed daily by thousands, that I dare venture to record this apparent impossibility as a matter of serious fact.

Doctor Templeton had traveled a lot in his younger days, and while in Paris, he became largely convinced by Mesmer's teachings. It was entirely through magnetic treatments that he managed to ease his patient's severe pain; this success naturally led the patient to trust the ideas behind those treatments. However, like many enthusiasts, the Doctor worked hard to fully convince his pupil and eventually managed to get the patient to agree to multiple experiments. Through frequent repetition of these experiments, they achieved a result that, in recent times, has become so common that it attracts little attention, but at the time I’m writing about, it was extremely rare in America. I mean that a strong and distinct rapport, or magnetic connection, developed between Doctor Templeton and Bedloe over time. However, I can’t claim that this rapport went beyond the simple ability to induce sleep, but that ability had become quite powerful. During the first attempt to induce magnetic sleep, the mesmerist completely failed. He had a bit of success by the fifth or sixth attempt, but it required significant effort. It was only on the twelfth attempt that the effort was fully successful. After that, the patient's will quickly gave way to the physician's, so that by the time I first met them, the operator could induce sleep almost instantly with just his will, even when the patient didn’t realize he was there. It is only now, in the year 1845, when similar wonders are seen every day by thousands, that I feel brave enough to write about this seeming impossibility as a serious fact.

The temperature of Bedloe was, in the highest degree sensitive, excitable, enthusiastic. His imagination was singularly vigorous and creative; and no doubt it derived additional force from the habitual use of morphine, which he swallowed in great quantity, and without which he would have found it impossible to exist. It was his practice to take a very large dose of it immediately after breakfast each morning—or, rather, immediately after a cup of strong coffee, for he ate nothing in the forenoon—and then set forth alone, or attended only by a dog, upon a long ramble among the chain of wild and dreary hills that lie westward and southward of Charlottesville, and are there dignified by the title of the Ragged Mountains.

The temperature of Bedloe was extremely sensitive, excitable, and enthusiastic. His imagination was particularly strong and creative; no doubt it got an extra boost from his regular use of morphine, which he took in large amounts and without which he would have found it impossible to get by. He would take a hefty dose of it right after breakfast each morning—or, more accurately, right after a cup of strong coffee, since he didn’t eat anything in the morning—and then he would head out alone, or just with a dog, on a long trek through the chain of wild and bleak hills that lie to the west and south of Charlottesville, which are referred to as the Ragged Mountains.

Upon a dim, warm, misty day, toward the close of November, and during the strange interregnum of the seasons which in America is termed the Indian Summer, Mr. Bedloe departed as usual for the hills. The day passed, and still he did not return.

On a dim, warm, misty day at the end of November, during the unusual gap between seasons known in America as Indian Summer, Mr. Bedloe set out as usual for the hills. The day went by, and he still hadn’t come back.

About eight o’clock at night, having become seriously alarmed at his protracted absence, we were about setting out in search of him, when he unexpectedly made his appearance, in health no worse than usual, and in rather more than ordinary spirits. The account which he gave of his expedition, and of the events which had detained him, was a singular one indeed.

Around eight o'clock at night, worried about his long absence, we were about to head out to look for him when he unexpectedly showed up, in just as good health as usual, and seeming even more cheerful than normal. The story he told about his adventure and the things that had kept him away was truly unusual.

“You will remember,” said he, “that it was about nine in the morning when I left Charlottesville. I bent my steps immediately to the mountains, and, about ten, entered a gorge which was entirely new to me. I followed the windings of this pass with much interest. The scenery which presented itself on all sides, although scarcely entitled to be called grand, had about it an indescribable and to me a delicious aspect of dreary desolation. The solitude seemed absolutely virgin. I could not help believing that the green sods and the gray rocks upon which I trod had been trodden never before by the foot of a human being. So entirely secluded, and in fact inaccessible, except through a series of accidents, is the entrance of the ravine, that it is by no means impossible that I was indeed the first adventurer—the very first and sole adventurer who had ever penetrated its recesses.

“You will remember,” he said, “that it was around nine in the morning when I left Charlottesville. I immediately headed toward the mountains and, around ten, entered a gorge that was completely new to me. I followed the twists and turns of this pass with great interest. The scenery all around, while hardly grand, had an indescribable and, to me, wonderfully bleak quality of desolate beauty. The solitude felt completely untouched. I couldn't help but think that the green grass and gray rocks I walked on had never before been stepped on by a human foot. The entrance to the ravine is so isolated and, in fact, so difficult to access except by a series of accidents, that it’s quite possible I was genuinely the first adventurer—the very first and only adventurer—to have ever explored its depths.”

“The thick and peculiar mist, or smoke, which distinguishes the Indian Summer, and which now hung heavily over all objects, served, no doubt, to deepen the vague impressions which these objects created. So dense was this pleasant fog that I could at no time see more than a dozen yards of the path before me. This path was excessively sinuous, and as the sun could not be seen, I soon lost all idea of the direction in which I journeyed. In the meantime the morphine had its customary effect—that of enduing all the external world with an intensity of interest. In the quivering of a leaf—in the hue of a blade of grass—in the shape of a trefoil—in the humming of a bee—in the gleaming of a dew-drop—in the breathing of the wind—in the faint odors that came from the forest—there came a whole universe of suggestion—a gay and motley train of rhapsodical and immethodical thought.

The thick and strange mist, or smoke, that marks Indian Summer, now hung heavily over everything and definitely intensified the vague impressions those things created. This pleasant fog was so dense that I couldn’t see more than a dozen yards down the path in front of me. The path was extremely winding, and since the sun was hidden, I quickly lost all sense of the direction I was traveling. Meanwhile, the morphine had its usual effect—giving everything in the external world an intensity of interest. In the rustling of a leaf—in the color of a blade of grass—in the shape of a clover—in the buzzing of a bee—in the glimmer of a dew drop—in the gentle movement of the wind—in the faint scents wafting from the forest—there was a whole universe of suggestion—a colorful and chaotic stream of euphoric and disorganized thoughts.

“Busied in this, I walked on for several hours, during which the mist deepened around me to so great an extent that at length I was reduced to an absolute groping of the way. And now an indescribable uneasiness possessed me—a species of nervous hesitation and tremor. I feared to tread, lest I should be precipitated into some abyss. I remembered, too, strange stories told about these Ragged Hills, and of the uncouth and fierce races of men who tenanted their groves and caverns. A thousand vague fancies oppressed and disconcerted me—fancies the more distressing because vague. Very suddenly my attention was arrested by the loud beating of a drum.

“While I was busy with this, I walked for several hours, during which the mist around me thickened so much that I was left completely groping my way. An indescribable uneasiness took hold of me—a kind of nervous hesitation and tremor. I was afraid to step, worried that I might fall into some abyss. I also recalled strange stories about these Ragged Hills and the wild and fierce people who inhabited their groves and caves. A thousand vague worries weighed on me—worries that were even more distressing because they were so unclear. Suddenly, my attention was caught by the loud sound of a drum beating.

“My amazement was, of course, extreme. A drum in these hills was a thing unknown. I could not have been more surprised at the sound of the trump of the Archangel. But a new and still more astounding source of interest and perplexity arose. There came a wild rattling or jingling sound, as if of a bunch of large keys, and upon the instant a dusky-visaged and half-naked man rushed past me with a shriek. He came so close to my person that I felt his hot breath upon my face. He bore in one hand an instrument composed of an assemblage of steel rings, and shook them vigorously as he ran. Scarcely had he disappeared in the mist before, panting after him, with open mouth and glaring eyes, there darted a huge beast. I could not be mistaken in its character. It was a hyena.

My astonishment was, of course, extreme. A drum in these hills was unheard of. I couldn't have been more shocked by the sound of the Archangel's trumpet. But then, something even more surprising and confusing happened. There was a wild rattling or jingling noise, like a bunch of big keys, and suddenly a dark-faced, half-naked man rushed past me with a scream. He got so close that I could feel his hot breath on my face. In one hand, he carried an instrument made up of a bunch of steel rings, which he shook vigorously as he ran. Just as he disappeared into the mist, a huge beast came dashing after him, panting, with its mouth open and eyes wide. I couldn’t be mistaken about it. It was a hyena.

“The sight of this monster rather relieved than heightened my terrors—for I now made sure that I dreamed, and endeavored to arouse myself to waking consciousness. I stepped boldly and briskly forward. I rubbed my eyes. I called aloud. I pinched my limbs. A small spring of water presented itself to my view, and here, stooping, I bathed my hands and my head and neck. This seemed to dissipate the equivocal sensations which had hitherto annoyed me. I arose, as I thought, a new man, and proceeded steadily and complacently on my unknown way.

The sight of this monster actually eased my fears instead of increasing them—because I realized I must be dreaming, and I tried to wake myself up. I stepped forward confidently and quickly. I rubbed my eyes. I called out loud. I pinched my arms and legs. I noticed a small spring of water nearby, and as I bent down, I washed my hands, head, and neck. This seemed to clear up the strange feelings that had been bothering me. I stood up, feeling like a new person, and continued on my unknown path steadily and calmly.

“At length, quite overcome by exertion, and by a certain oppressive closeness of the atmosphere, I seated myself beneath a tree. Presently there came a feeble gleam of sunshine, and the shadow of the leaves of the tree fell faintly but definitely upon the grass. At this shadow I gazed wonderingly for many minutes. Its character stupefied me with astonishment. I looked upward. The tree was a palm.

“Finally, completely worn out from exertion and the stuffy atmosphere, I sat down under a tree. Soon, a weak beam of sunlight broke through, and the shadow of the tree's leaves fell softly but distinctly on the grass. I stared at that shadow in amazement for several minutes. Its nature left me in awe. I looked up. The tree was a palm.”

“I now arose hurriedly, and in a state of fearful agitation—for the fancy that I dreamed would serve me no longer. I saw—I felt that I had perfect command of my senses—and these senses now brought to my soul a world of novel and singular sensation. The heat became all at once intolerable. A strange odor loaded the breeze. A low, continuous murmur, like that arising from a full, but gently flowing river, came to my ears, intermingled with the peculiar hum of multitudinous human voices.

I quickly got up, feeling anxious and scared—my dream no longer felt like a comfort. I realized—I knew I had complete control over my senses—and those senses were now delivering to my soul a range of new and unusual feelings. The heat suddenly became unbearable. A strange smell filled the air. I heard a soft, constant sound, like that of a full but gently flowing river, mixed with the unique buzz of countless human voices.

“While I listened in an extremity of astonishment which I need not attempt to describe, a strong and brief gust of wind bore off the incumbent fog as if by the wand of an enchanter.

“While I listened in complete astonishment that I don’t need to describe, a strong, quick gust of wind swept away the thick fog as if by the magic of an enchanter.”

“I found myself at the foot of a high mountain, and looking down into a vast plain, through which wound a majestic river. On the margin of this river stood an Eastern-looking city, such as we read of in the Arabian Tales, but of a character even more singular than any there described. From my position, which was far above the level of the town, I could perceive its every nook and corner, as if delineated on a map. The streets seemed innumerable, and crossed each other irregularly in all directions, but were rather long winding alleys than streets, and absolutely swarmed with inhabitants. The houses were wildly picturesque. On every hand was a wilderness of balconies, of verandas, of minarets, of shrines, and fantastically carved oriels. Bazaars abounded; and in these were displayed rich wares in infinite variety and profusion—silks, muslins, the most dazzling cutlery, the most magnificent jewels and gems. Besides these things, were seen, on all sides, banners and palanquins, litters with stately dames close-veiled, elephants gorgeously caparisoned, idols grotesquely hewn, drums, banners, and gongs, spears, silver and gilded maces. And amid the crowd, and the clamor, and the general intricacy and confusion—amid the million of black and yellow men, turbaned and robed, and of flowing beard, there roamed a countless multitude of holy filleted bulls, while vast legions of the filthy but sacred ape clambered, chattering and shrieking, about the cornices of the mosques, or clung to the minarets and oriels. From the swarming streets to the banks of the river, there descended innumerable flights of steps leading to bathing places, while the river itself seemed to force a passage with difficulty through the vast fleets of deeply-burthened ships that far and wide encountered its surface. Beyond the limits of the city arose, in frequent majestic groups, the palm and the cocoa, with other gigantic and weird trees of vast age; and here and there might be seen a field of rice, the thatched hut of a peasant, a tank, a stray temple, a gypsy camp, or a solitary graceful maiden taking her way, with a pitcher upon her head, to the banks of the magnificent river.

I found myself at the base of a high mountain, looking down into a vast plain where a majestic river wound through. At the edge of this river stood an Eastern-looking city, like those we read about in Arabian tales, but even more unique than any described there. From my high vantage point above the town, I could see every nook and cranny, as if it were laid out on a map. The streets seemed countless and crossed each other irregularly in all directions; they were more like long winding alleys than actual streets, and they were absolutely packed with people. The houses were strikingly picturesque. All around were a maze of balconies, verandas, minarets, shrines, and ornately carved window alcoves. Bazaars thrived, showcasing a rich variety of goods—silks, muslins, dazzling cutlery, and magnificent jewels and gems. Everywhere, there were banners and palanquins, litters carrying stately women in veils, beautifully adorned elephants, grotesquely carved idols, drums, flags, gongs, spears, and silver and gold maces. Amid the crowd, the noise, and the general complexity and confusion—with millions of black and yellow people, turbaned, robed, and bearded—there roamed countless holy bulls with ribbons around their heads, while large groups of filthy yet sacred monkeys climbed, chattering and shrieking, around the cornices of the mosques or clung to the minarets and window alcoves. From the busy streets to the riverbanks flowed numerous flights of steps leading to bathing areas, while the river itself struggled to make its way through the many heavily loaded ships that dotted its surface. Beyond the city limits stood clusters of majestic palm and coconut trees, along with other enormous and ancient trees; and here and there you could see a rice field, a peasant’s thatched hut, a water tank, a wandering temple, a gypsy camp, or a solitary graceful maiden walking with a pitcher balanced on her head toward the banks of the splendid river.

“You will say now, of course, that I dreamed; but not so. What I saw—what I heard—what I felt—what I thought—had about it nothing of the unmistakable idiosyncrasy of the dream. All was rigorously self-consistent. At first, doubting that I was really awake, I entered into a series of tests, which soon convinced me that I really was. Now, when one dreams, and, in the dream, suspects that he dreams, the suspicion never fails to confirm itself, and the sleeper is almost immediately aroused. Thus Novalis errs not in saying that ‘we are near waking when we dream that we dream.’ Had the vision occurred to me as I describe it, without my suspecting it as a dream, then a dream it might absolutely have been, but, occurring as it did, and suspected and tested as it was, I am forced to class it among other phenomena.”

"You’ll say now, of course, that I was dreaming; but that's not true. What I saw—what I heard—what I felt—what I thought—wasn’t anything like a typical dream. Everything was strictly consistent. At first, unsure if I was really awake, I went through a series of tests that quickly convinced me I was. Now, when someone dreams and suspects they’re dreaming, that suspicion always proves to be true, and the sleeper usually wakes up almost immediately. So Novalis is right when he says that ‘we are close to waking when we dream that we dream.’ If the vision had come to me as I describe it, without me suspecting it was a dream, then it might have just been a dream, but since it happened as it did, and I doubted and tested it, I have to categorize it among other phenomena."

“In this I am not sure that you are wrong,” observed Dr. Templeton, “but proceed. You arose and descended into the city.”

“In this, I'm not sure you're wrong,” Dr. Templeton noted, “but go on. You got up and headed down to the city.”

“I arose,” continued Bedloe, regarding the Doctor with an air of profound astonishment “I arose, as you say, and descended into the city. On my way I fell in with an immense populace, crowding through every avenue, all in the same direction, and exhibiting in every action the wildest excitement. Very suddenly, and by some inconceivable impulse, I became intensely imbued with personal interest in what was going on. I seemed to feel that I had an important part to play, without exactly understanding what it was. Against the crowd which environed me, however, I experienced a deep sentiment of animosity. I shrank from amid them, and, swiftly, by a circuitous path, reached and entered the city. Here all was the wildest tumult and contention. A small party of men, clad in garments half Indian, half European, and officered by gentlemen in a uniform partly British, were engaged, at great odds, with the swarming rabble of the alleys. I joined the weaker party, arming myself with the weapons of a fallen officer, and fighting I knew not whom with the nervous ferocity of despair. We were soon overpowered by numbers, and driven to seek refuge in a species of kiosk. Here we barricaded ourselves, and, for the present were secure. From a loop-hole near the summit of the kiosk, I perceived a vast crowd, in furious agitation, surrounding and assaulting a gay palace that overhung the river. Presently, from an upper window of this place, there descended an effeminate-looking person, by means of a string made of the turbans of his attendants. A boat was at hand, in which he escaped to the opposite bank of the river.

“I got up,” continued Bedloe, looking at the Doctor in complete disbelief. “I got up, as you said, and went down to the city. On my way, I ran into a huge crowd, all moving through every street in the same direction, showing the wildest excitement in everything they did. Suddenly, for some unimaginable reason, I became intensely interested in what was happening. I felt like I had an important role to play, although I didn’t quite understand what it was. However, against the crowd surrounding me, I felt a strong sense of hostility. I pulled away from them and quickly took a roundabout route to enter the city. Here, everything was a chaotic uproar and conflict. A small group of men, dressed in a mix of Indian and European clothing, led by gentlemen in partially British uniforms, were struggling against a throng of people from the alleys. I joined the weaker side, picking up the weapons of a fallen officer and fighting against I knew not whom with a desperate rage. We were soon overwhelmed by numbers and forced to find shelter in a sort of kiosk. We barricaded ourselves inside and, for the moment, were safe. From a narrow opening near the top of the kiosk, I saw a massive crowd in a furious frenzy surrounding and attacking a colorful palace that overlooked the river. Soon, from an upper window of that place, a delicate-looking person climbed down using a rope made of his attendants' turbans. A boat was ready, and he escaped to the opposite bank of the river.

“And now a new object took possession of my soul. I spoke a few hurried but energetic words to my companions, and, having succeeded in gaining over a few of them to my purpose made a frantic sally from the kiosk. We rushed amid the crowd that surrounded it. They retreated, at first, before us. They rallied, fought madly, and retreated again. In the mean time we were borne far from the kiosk, and became bewildered and entangled among the narrow streets of tall, overhanging houses, into the recesses of which the sun had never been able to shine. The rabble pressed impetuously upon us, harrassing us with their spears, and overwhelming us with flights of arrows. These latter were very remarkable, and resembled in some respects the writhing creese of the Malay. They were made to imitate the body of a creeping serpent, and were long and black, with a poisoned barb. One of them struck me upon the right temple. I reeled and fell. An instantaneous and dreadful sickness seized me. I struggled—I gasped—I died.”

“And now a new feeling took over my soul. I hurriedly spoke a few energetic words to my friends, and after convincing some of them to join me, I made a desperate dash out of the kiosk. We charged into the crowd surrounding it. They initially backed away from us. They regrouped, fought fiercely, and then retreated again. In the meantime, we were swept far from the kiosk, getting confused and caught up in the narrow streets of tall, looming buildings, where the sunlight had never reached. The mob pressed aggressively against us, harassing us with their spears and bombarding us with a barrage of arrows. These arrows were particularly strange and resembled, in some ways, the writhing kris of the Malays. They were designed to mimic the body of a creeping snake, long and black, with a poisoned tip. One of them hit me on the right side of my forehead. I staggered and collapsed. A sudden, terrible sickness overwhelmed me. I struggled—I gasped—I died.”

“You will hardly persist now,” said I smiling, “that the whole of your adventure was not a dream. You are not prepared to maintain that you are dead?”

"You really don't expect me to believe," I said with a smile, "that your entire adventure wasn't just a dream. Are you seriously trying to say you're dead?"

When I said these words, I of course expected some lively sally from Bedloe in reply, but, to my astonishment, he hesitated, trembled, became fearfully pallid, and remained silent. I looked toward Templeton. He sat erect and rigid in his chair—his teeth chattered, and his eyes were starting from their sockets. “Proceed!” he at length said hoarsely to Bedloe.

When I said this, I expected Bedloe to respond with some witty comeback, but to my surprise, he hesitated, shook, turned ghostly pale, and stayed quiet. I glanced at Templeton. He sat straight in his chair—his teeth chattered, and his eyes looked like they were about to pop out. “Go on!” he finally said hoarsely to Bedloe.

“For many minutes,” continued the latter, “my sole sentiment—my sole feeling—was that of darkness and nonentity, with the consciousness of death. At length there seemed to pass a violent and sudden shock through my soul, as if of electricity. With it came the sense of elasticity and of light. This latter I felt—not saw. In an instant I seemed to rise from the ground. But I had no bodily, no visible, audible, or palpable presence. The crowd had departed. The tumult had ceased. The city was in comparative repose. Beneath me lay my corpse, with the arrow in my temple, the whole head greatly swollen and disfigured. But all these things I felt—not saw. I took interest in nothing. Even the corpse seemed a matter in which I had no concern. Volition I had none, but appeared to be impelled into motion, and flitted buoyantly out of the city, retracing the circuitous path by which I had entered it. When I had attained that point of the ravine in the mountains at which I had encountered the hyena, I again experienced a shock as of a galvanic battery; the sense of weight, of volition, of substance, returned. I became my original self, and bent my steps eagerly homeward—but the past had not lost the vividness of the real—and not now, even for an instant, can I compel my understanding to regard it as a dream.”

“For many minutes,” the latter continued, “my only feeling was a sense of darkness and nothingness, along with the awareness of death. Eventually, I felt a sudden, violent shock run through my soul, like an electric jolt. With it came a sense of lightness and illumination. I felt this light—not saw it. In an instant, I seemed to rise from the ground. But I had no physical, visible, audible, or tangible presence. The crowd had left. The chaos had quieted down. The city was comparatively calm. Beneath me lay my corpse, with an arrow in my temple, my whole head greatly swollen and disfigured. But I felt all these things—not saw them. I had no interest in anything. Even the corpse seemed like something I had no stake in. I had no control over my actions, but I felt myself being drawn into motion, floating lightly out of the city, retracing the winding path I had taken to enter it. When I reached the spot in the mountains where I had encountered the hyena, I felt another shock, like a jolt from a battery; the sense of weight, intention, and essence returned. I became my original self again and eagerly headed homeward—but the past still felt as vivid as reality—and even now, for a moment, I can't force myself to think of it as just a dream.”

“Nor was it,” said Templeton, with an air of deep solemnity, “yet it would be difficult to say how otherwise it should be termed. Let us suppose only, that the soul of the man of to-day is upon the verge of some stupendous psychal discoveries. Let us content ourselves with this supposition. For the rest I have some explanation to make. Here is a watercolor drawing, which I should have shown you before, but which an unaccountable sentiment of horror has hitherto prevented me from showing.”

“Nor was it,” Templeton said seriously, “but it’s hard to say what else it should be called. Let’s just assume that the soul of today’s man is on the brink of some amazing psychological discoveries. Let’s be satisfied with that assumption. As for the rest, I have some explaining to do. Here’s a watercolor drawing that I should've shown you earlier, but an inexplicable feeling of horror has held me back from showing it until now.”

We looked at the picture which he presented. I saw nothing in it of an extraordinary character, but its effect upon Bedloe was prodigious. He nearly fainted as he gazed. And yet it was but a miniature portrait—a miraculously accurate one, to be sure—of his own very remarkable features. At least this was my thought as I regarded it.

We looked at the picture he showed us. I didn’t see anything special about it, but it had a huge impact on Bedloe. He nearly passed out as he stared at it. Still, it was just a small portrait—a remarkably accurate one, no doubt—of his own striking features. At least, that’s what I thought as I looked at it.

“You will perceive,” said Templeton, “the date of this picture—it is here, scarcely visible, in this corner—1780. In this year was the portrait taken. It is the likeness of a dead friend—a Mr. Oldeb—to whom I became much attached at Calcutta, during the administration of Warren Hastings. I was then only twenty years old. When I first saw you, Mr. Bedloe, at Saratoga, it was the miraculous similarity which existed between yourself and the painting which induced me to accost you, to seek your friendship, and to bring about those arrangements which resulted in my becoming your constant companion. In accomplishing this point, I was urged partly, and perhaps principally, by a regretful memory of the deceased, but also, in part, by an uneasy, and not altogether horrorless curiosity respecting yourself.

"You'll notice," said Templeton, "the date on this picture—it’s right here, barely visible, in the corner—1780. This is when the portrait was painted. It’s a likeness of a deceased friend, Mr. Oldeb, to whom I became very attached in Calcutta during Warren Hastings’ administration. I was only twenty years old back then. When I first saw you, Mr. Bedloe, in Saratoga, it was the incredible resemblance between you and the painting that made me approach you, seek your friendship, and arrange for us to become close companions. In doing this, I was partly motivated by a bittersweet memory of the deceased, but also, to some extent, by a restless and not entirely fear-free curiosity about you."

“In your detail of the vision which presented itself to you amid the hills, you have described, with the minutest accuracy, the Indian city of Benares, upon the Holy River. The riots, the combat, the massacre, were the actual events of the insurrection of Cheyte Sing, which took place in 1780, when Hastings was put in imminent peril of his life. The man escaping by the string of turbans was Cheyte Sing himself. The party in the kiosk were sepoys and British officers, headed by Hastings. Of this party I was one, and did all I could to prevent the rash and fatal sally of the officer who fell, in the crowded alleys, by the poisoned arrow of a Bengalee. That officer was my dearest friend. It was Oldeb. You will perceive by these manuscripts,” (here the speaker produced a note-book in which several pages appeared to have been freshly written,) “that at the very period in which you fancied these things amid the hills, I was engaged in detailing them upon paper here at home.”

“In your description of the vision you had in the hills, you vividly detailed the Indian city of Benares, located on the Holy River. The riots, the fighting, the massacre, were the actual events from the uprising of Cheyte Sing in 1780, when Hastings was in serious danger. The man escaping with the turbans was Cheyte Sing himself. The group in the kiosk included sepoys and British officers, led by Hastings. I was part of that group and did everything I could to stop the reckless and tragic charge of my officer friend who died in the crowded alleys from a poisoned arrow shot by a Bengalee. That officer was my closest friend. It was Oldeb. You’ll see from these manuscripts,” (here the speaker took out a notebook with several freshly written pages,) “that at the exact time you were imagining these things in the hills, I was busy writing them down here at home.”

In about a week after this conversation, the following paragraphs appeared in a Charlottesville paper:

In about a week after this conversation, the following paragraphs appeared in a Charlottesville paper:

“We have the painful duty of announcing the death of Mr. Augustus Bedlo, a gentleman whose amiable manners and many virtues have long endeared him to the citizens of Charlottesville.

“We have the sad responsibility of announcing the death of Mr. Augustus Bedlo, a man whose friendly demeanor and many qualities have long made him beloved by the citizens of Charlottesville.

“Mr. B., for some years past, has been subject to neuralgia, which has often threatened to terminate fatally; but this can be regarded only as the mediate cause of his decease. The proximate cause was one of especial singularity. In an excursion to the Ragged Mountains, a few days since, a slight cold and fever were contracted, attended with great determination of blood to the head. To relieve this, Dr. Templeton resorted to topical bleeding. Leeches were applied to the temples. In a fearfully brief period the patient died, when it appeared that in the jar containing the leeches, had been introduced, by accident, one of the venomous vermicular sangsues which are now and then found in the neighboring ponds. This creature fastened itself upon a small artery in the right temple. Its close resemblance to the medicinal leech caused the mistake to be overlooked until too late.

“Mr. B. has suffered from neuralgia for several years, which has often put his life at risk; however, this can only be considered as the indirect cause of his death. The direct cause was quite unusual. During a recent trip to the Ragged Mountains, he caught a slight cold and fever, which resulted in a significant buildup of blood in his head. To treat this, Dr. Templeton performed a topical bloodletting and applied leeches to his temples. In a tragically short time, the patient passed away, and it was discovered that in the jar with the leeches, there had accidentally been one of the dangerous venomous leeches found occasionally in the nearby ponds. This creature attached itself to a small artery in the right temple. Its close resemblance to the medicinal leech led to the mistake being overlooked until it was too late.”

“N. B.—The poisonous sangsue of Charlottesville may always be distinguished from the medicinal leech by its blackness, and especially by its writhing or vermicular motions, which very nearly resemble those of a snake.”

“N. B.—The poisonous leech of Charlottesville can always be identified from the medicinal leech by its black color and especially by its writhing or worm-like movements, which closely resemble those of a snake.”

I was speaking with the editor of the paper in question, upon the topic of this remarkable accident, when it occurred to me to ask how it happened that the name of the deceased had been given as Bedlo.

I was talking to the editor of the paper about this amazing accident when I thought to ask how it happened that the deceased was identified as Bedlo.

“I presume,” I said, “you have authority for this spelling, but I have always supposed the name to be written with an e at the end.”

“I assume,” I said, “you have the authority for this spelling, but I’ve always thought the name was spelled with an e at the end.”

“Authority?—no,” he replied. “It is a mere typographical error. The name is Bedlo with an e, all the world over, and I never knew it to be spelt otherwise in my life.”

“Authority?—no,” he replied. “It’s just a simple typo. The name is Bedlo with an e, everywhere you go, and I’ve never seen it spelled any other way in my life.”

“Then,” said I mutteringly, as I turned upon my heel, “then indeed has it come to pass that one truth is stranger than any fiction—for Bedloe, without the e, what is it but Oldeb conversed! And this man tells me that it is a typographical error.”

“Then,” I said softly, turning on my heel, “it has indeed happened that one truth is stranger than any fiction—for Bedloe, without the e, what is it but Oldeb talking! And this guy tells me it’s a typo.”

THE SPECTACLES

Many years ago, it was the fashion to ridicule the idea of “love at first sight;” but those who think, not less than those who feel deeply, have always advocated its existence. Modern discoveries, indeed, in what may be termed ethical magnetism or magnetoesthetics, render it probable that the most natural, and, consequently, the truest and most intense of the human affections are those which arise in the heart as if by electric sympathy—in a word, that the brightest and most enduring of the psychal fetters are those which are riveted by a glance. The confession I am about to make will add another to the already almost innumerable instances of the truth of the position.

Many years ago, it was trendy to mock the idea of “love at first sight,” but both thinkers and those who feel deeply have always supported its reality. Modern discoveries in what could be called ethical magnetism or magnetoesthetics suggest that the most natural, and therefore the truest and most intense, human feelings come from the heart, as if by electric connection—in other words, the brightest and most lasting emotional bonds are formed with just a glance. The confession I'm about to make will add yet another example to the already countless instances proving this idea true.

My story requires that I should be somewhat minute. I am still a very young man—not yet twenty-two years of age. My name, at present, is a very usual and rather plebeian one—Simpson. I say “at present;” for it is only lately that I have been so called—having legislatively adopted this surname within the last year in order to receive a large inheritance left me by a distant male relative, Adolphus Simpson, Esq. The bequest was conditioned upon my taking the name of the testator,—the family, not the Christian name; my Christian name is Napoleon Bonaparte—or, more properly, these are my first and middle appellations.

My story needs a bit of detail. I’m still pretty young—not yet twenty-two years old. Right now, my name is quite common and rather ordinary—Simpson. I say “right now” because it’s only recently that I’ve been called this—I legally adopted this last name in the past year to claim a large inheritance left to me by a distant male relative, Adolphus Simpson, Esq. The inheritance was contingent on me taking the name of the deceased—specifically the family name, not the first name; my first name is Napoleon Bonaparte—or, more accurately, those are my first and middle names.

I assumed the name, Simpson, with some reluctance, as in my true patronym, Froissart, I felt a very pardonable pride—believing that I could trace a descent from the immortal author of the “Chronicles.” While on the subject of names, by the bye, I may mention a singular coincidence of sound attending the names of some of my immediate predecessors. My father was a Monsieur Froissart, of Paris. His wife—my mother, whom he married at fifteen—was a Mademoiselle Croissart, eldest daughter of Croissart the banker, whose wife, again, being only sixteen when married, was the eldest daughter of one Victor Voissart. Monsieur Voissart, very singularly, had married a lady of similar name—a Mademoiselle Moissart. She, too, was quite a child when married; and her mother, also, Madame Moissart, was only fourteen when led to the altar. These early marriages are usual in France. Here, however, are Moissart, Voissart, Croissart, and Froissart, all in the direct line of descent. My own name, though, as I say, became Simpson, by act of Legislature, and with so much repugnance on my part, that, at one period, I actually hesitated about accepting the legacy with the useless and annoying proviso attached.

I took on the name Simpson reluctantly because I felt a sense of pride in my real last name, Froissart, believing I could trace my lineage back to the famous author of the “Chronicles.” Speaking of names, I want to mention a strange coincidence regarding the names of some of my immediate predecessors. My father was Monsieur Froissart from Paris. His wife—my mother, whom he married when he was fifteen—was Mademoiselle Croissart, the oldest daughter of Croissart the banker. His wife, who also got married young at sixteen, was the oldest daughter of a man named Victor Voissart. Interestingly, Monsieur Voissart married a woman with a similar name—Mademoiselle Moissart. She too was very young when she married; her mother, Madame Moissart, was only fourteen when she got married. Early marriages are common in France. So here we have Moissart, Voissart, Croissart, and Froissart, all in my direct lineage. My name, however, became Simpson by legislative act, and I was so opposed to it that at one point, I really hesitated about accepting the inheritance with the pointless and annoying condition attached.

As to personal endowments, I am by no means deficient. On the contrary, I believe that I am well made, and possess what nine tenths of the world would call a handsome face. In height I am five feet eleven. My hair is black and curling. My nose is sufficiently good. My eyes are large and gray; and although, in fact they are weak to a very inconvenient degree, still no defect in this regard would be suspected from their appearance. The weakness itself, however, has always much annoyed me, and I have resorted to every remedy—short of wearing glasses. Being youthful and good-looking, I naturally dislike these, and have resolutely refused to employ them. I know nothing, indeed, which so disfigures the countenance of a young person, or so impresses every feature with an air of demureness, if not altogether of sanctimoniousness and of age. An eyeglass, on the other hand, has a savor of downright foppery and affectation. I have hitherto managed as well as I could without either. But something too much of these merely personal details, which, after all, are of little importance. I will content myself with saying, in addition, that my temperament is sanguine, rash, ardent, enthusiastic—and that all my life I have been a devoted admirer of the women.

When it comes to personal qualities, I'm definitely not lacking. On the contrary, I think I'm well put together and have what most people would consider a good-looking face. I'm five feet eleven inches tall. My hair is black and curly. My nose is quite nice. My eyes are large and gray; even though they're a bit weak to the point of being quite bothersome, you wouldn't guess that just by looking at them. However, this weakness has always annoyed me, and I've tried every remedy—except for wearing glasses. Being young and good-looking, I really dislike the idea of glasses and have stubbornly refused to use them. I truly believe that nothing ruins a young person's appearance as much as glasses do, making them look more serious and even older. On the other hand, using a monocle seems overly showy and pretentious. I've managed without either so far. But that's enough about these personal details, which really aren't that significant in the grand scheme. I'll just add that my temperament is lively, impulsive, passionate, and enthusiastic—and throughout my life, I've been a devoted admirer of women.

One night last winter I entered a box at the P—— Theatre, in company with a friend, Mr. Talbot. It was an opera night, and the bills presented a very rare attraction, so that the house was excessively crowded. We were in time, however, to obtain the front seats which had been reserved for us, and into which, with some little difficulty, we elbowed our way.

One night last winter, I went to a box at the P—— Theatre with my friend, Mr. Talbot. It was an opera night, and the posters advertised a really unique show, so the place was packed. We managed to get there on time to claim the front seats that had been set aside for us, and we squeezed our way in with a bit of effort.

For two hours my companion, who was a musical fanatico, gave his undivided attention to the stage; and, in the meantime, I amused myself by observing the audience, which consisted, in chief part, of the very elite of the city. Having satisfied myself upon this point, I was about turning my eyes to the prima donna, when they were arrested and riveted by a figure in one of the private boxes which had escaped my observation.

For two hours, my companion, who was really into music, focused entirely on the stage, while I entertained myself by watching the audience, which was mainly made up of the city's elite. After I felt satisfied about that, I was about to turn my gaze to the lead singer when my attention was captured and held by a figure in one of the private boxes that I hadn't noticed before.

If I live a thousand years, I can never forget the intense emotion with which I regarded this figure. It was that of a female, the most exquisite I had ever beheld. The face was so far turned toward the stage that, for some minutes, I could not obtain a view of it—but the form was divine; no other word can sufficiently express its magnificent proportion—and even the term “divine” seems ridiculously feeble as I write it.

If I live a thousand years, I will never forget the strong emotion I felt when I saw this figure. It was a woman, the most beautiful I had ever seen. Her face was turned toward the stage, so for a few minutes, I couldn't see it—but her form was breathtaking; no other word could fully capture its incredible shape—and even the word "breathtaking" feels weak as I write it.

The magic of a lovely form in woman—the necromancy of female gracefulness—was always a power which I had found it impossible to resist, but here was grace personified, incarnate, the beau ideal of my wildest and most enthusiastic visions. The figure, almost all of which the construction of the box permitted to be seen, was somewhat above the medium height, and nearly approached, without positively reaching, the majestic. Its perfect fullness and tournure were delicious. The head, of which only the back was visible, rivalled in outline that of the Greek Psyche, and was rather displayed than concealed by an elegant cap of gaze äérienne, which put me in mind of the ventum textilem of Apuleius. The right arm hung over the balustrade of the box, and thrilled every nerve of my frame with its exquisite symmetry. Its upper portion was draperied by one of the loose open sleeves now in fashion. This extended but little below the elbow. Beneath it was worn an under one of some frail material, close-fitting, and terminated by a cuff of rich lace, which fell gracefully over the top of the hand, revealing only the delicate fingers, upon one of which sparkled a diamond ring, which I at once saw was of extraordinary value. The admirable roundness of the wrist was well set off by a bracelet which encircled it, and which also was ornamented and clasped by a magnificent aigrette of jewels—telling, in words that could not be mistaken, at once of the wealth and fastidious taste of the wearer.

The charm of a beautiful woman—the enchantment of femininity—was always something I found impossible to resist, but here was grace in its purest form, the ideal image of my wildest dreams. The figure, mostly visible due to the design of the box, was slightly above average height, almost majestic without quite reaching it. Its perfect shape and contour were delightful. The head, of which only the back could be seen, had an outline that rivaled the Greek Psyche and was more displayed than hidden by an elegant cap of gaze äérienne, reminding me of the ventum textilem of Apuleius. The right arm rested on the balustrade of the box, sending a thrill through every nerve in me with its exquisite symmetry. The upper part was draped with one of the loose, open sleeves that are currently fashionable, extending only slightly below the elbow. Beneath it was a fitted under sleeve made of delicate material, ending in a cuff of rich lace that fell gracefully over the top of the hand, revealing only the slender fingers, one of which sparkled with a diamond ring that I immediately recognized as extraordinarily valuable. The lovely roundness of the wrist was accentuated by a bracelet that wrapped around it, featuring a magnificent jewel-encrusted aigrette—clearly signaling both the wealth and refined taste of the wearer.

I gazed at this queenly apparition for at least half an hour, as if I had been suddenly converted to stone; and, during this period, I felt the full force and truth of all that has been said or sung concerning “love at first sight.” My feelings were totally different from any which I had hitherto experienced, in the presence of even the most celebrated specimens of female loveliness. An unaccountable, and what I am compelled to consider a magnetic, sympathy of soul for soul, seemed to rivet, not only my vision, but my whole powers of thought and feeling, upon the admirable object before me. I saw—I felt—I knew that I was deeply, madly, irrevocably in love—and this even before seeing the face of the person beloved. So intense, indeed, was the passion that consumed me, that I really believe it would have received little if any abatement had the features, yet unseen, proved of merely ordinary character; so anomalous is the nature of the only true love—of the love at first sight—and so little really dependent is it upon the external conditions which only seem to create and control it.

I stared at this royal figure for at least half an hour, as if I'd turned to stone. During that time, I really felt the power and truth of everything people say or sing about "love at first sight." My feelings were completely different from anything I had ever experienced, even with the most famous examples of female beauty. An inexplicable, and what I can only describe as a magnetic connection between our souls, seemed to hold not just my gaze but my entire ability to think and feel focused on the incredible person in front of me. I saw—I felt—I knew that I was deeply, obsessively, and irrevocably in love—and this was even before I had seen their face. The intensity of the passion that consumed me was such that I honestly believe it would have hardly diminished, if at all, even if their features, still unseen, turned out to be only average; such is the strange nature of true love—of love at first sight—and such little dependence it has on external conditions that only seem to create and control it.

While I was thus wrapped in admiration of this lovely vision, a sudden disturbance among the audience caused her to turn her head partially toward me, so that I beheld the entire profile of the face. Its beauty even exceeded my anticipations—and yet there was something about it which disappointed me without my being able to tell exactly what it was. I said “disappointed,” but this is not altogether the word. My sentiments were at once quieted and exalted. They partook less of transport and more of calm enthusiasm—of enthusiastic repose. This state of feeling arose, perhaps, from the Madonna-like and matronly air of the face; and yet I at once understood that it could not have arisen entirely from this. There was something else—some mystery which I could not develope—some expression about the countenance which slightly disturbed me while it greatly heightened my interest. In fact, I was just in that condition of mind which prepares a young and susceptible man for any act of extravagance. Had the lady been alone, I should undoubtedly have entered her box and accosted her at all hazards; but, fortunately, she was attended by two companions—a gentleman, and a strikingly beautiful woman, to all appearance a few years younger than herself.

While I was caught up in admiration of this beautiful sight, a sudden commotion in the audience made her turn her head slightly toward me, allowing me to see her entire profile. Her beauty surpassed my expectations—and yet there was something about it that disappointed me, though I couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. I said "disappointed," but that doesn't fully capture it. My feelings were both calmed and uplifted. They were more about serene enthusiasm than wild excitement—more about a peaceful thrill. This feeling may have come from the Madonna-like and maternal look of her face; yet, I realized it couldn't be attributed solely to that. There was something else—some mystery I couldn't unravel—an expression on her face that both intrigued me and made me slightly uneasy. I was in that state of mind that makes a young and impressionable man likely to act recklessly. If the lady had been alone, I would have definitely gone into her box and introduced myself without hesitation; but, fortunately, she was with two companions—a man and a strikingly beautiful woman who appeared to be a few years younger than her.

I revolved in my mind a thousand schemes by which I might obtain, hereafter, an introduction to the elder lady, or, for the present, at all events, a more distinct view of her beauty. I would have removed my position to one nearer her own, but the crowded state of the theatre rendered this impossible; and the stern decrees of Fashion had, of late, imperatively prohibited the use of the opera-glass in a case such as this, even had I been so fortunate as to have one with me—but I had not—and was thus in despair.

I ran through a thousand ideas in my head about how I could get introduced to the older lady eventually or at least get a better look at her beauty right now. I wanted to move closer to her, but the theater was so crowded that it was impossible. Plus, the strict rules of Fashion recently banned the use of opera glasses in situations like this, even if I had been lucky enough to have one with me—but I didn't—and that left me feeling hopeless.

At length I bethought me of applying to my companion.

At last, I decided to ask my friend.

“Talbot,” I said, “you have an opera-glass. Let me have it.”

“Talbot,” I said, “you have a pair of binoculars. Can I borrow them?”

“An opera-glass!—no!—what do you suppose I would be doing with an opera-glass?” Here he turned impatiently toward the stage.

“An opera glass!—no!—what do you think I would do with an opera glass?” He turned impatiently toward the stage.

“But, Talbot,” I continued, pulling him by the shoulder, “listen to me will you? Do you see the stage-box?—there!—no, the next.— Did you ever behold as lovely a woman?”

“But, Talbot,” I continued, grabbing his shoulder, “listen to me, okay? Do you see the box seat?—there!—no, the one next to it.—Have you ever seen such a beautiful woman?”

“She is very beautiful, no doubt,” he said.

“She’s really beautiful, no doubt,” he said.

“I wonder who she can be?”

“Who is she, I wonder?”

“Why, in the name of all that is angelic, don’t you know who she is? ‘Not to know her argues yourself unknown.’ She is the celebrated Madame Lalande—the beauty of the day par excellence, and the talk of the whole town. Immensely wealthy too—a widow, and a great match—has just arrived from Paris.”

“Why, for heaven's sake, don’t you know who she is? ‘Not knowing her means you’re not known yourself.’ She is the famous Madame Lalande—the unrivaled beauty of the day and the talk of the entire town. She's incredibly rich too—a widow and a great catch—just arrived from Paris.”

“Do you know her?”

“Do you know her?”

“Yes; I have the honor.”

"Yes, I’m honored."

“Will you introduce me?”

"Can you introduce me?"

“Assuredly, with the greatest pleasure; when shall it be?”

"Definitely, with great pleasure; when should it be?"

“To-morrow, at one, I will call upon you at B—’s.”

"Tomorrow at one, I will come see you at B—'s."

“Very good; and now do hold your tongue, if you can.”

“Very good; now please be quiet, if you can.”

In this latter respect I was forced to take Talbot’s advice; for he remained obstinately deaf to every further question or suggestion, and occupied himself exclusively for the rest of the evening with what was transacting upon the stage.

In this regard, I had to follow Talbot’s advice, because he stubbornly ignored any further questions or suggestions and focused solely on what was happening on stage for the rest of the evening.

In the meantime I kept my eyes riveted on Madame Lalande, and at length had the good fortune to obtain a full front view of her face. It was exquisitely lovely—this, of course, my heart had told me before, even had not Talbot fully satisfied me upon the point—but still the unintelligible something disturbed me. I finally concluded that my senses were impressed by a certain air of gravity, sadness, or, still more properly, of weariness, which took something from the youth and freshness of the countenance, only to endow it with a seraphic tenderness and majesty, and thus, of course, to my enthusiastic and romantic temperment, with an interest tenfold.

In the meantime, I kept my eyes glued on Madame Lalande, and eventually got lucky enough to see her face up close. It was stunningly beautiful—this, of course, my heart had already told me, even before Talbot confirmed it—but still, there was an indescribable something that bothered me. I finally figured out that my senses were affected by a certain air of seriousness, sadness, or more accurately, weariness, which took away from the youth and freshness of her face, only to give it a heavenly tenderness and grace, and thus, of course, to my enthusiastic and romantic temperament, an interest multiplied tenfold.

While I thus feasted my eyes, I perceived, at last, to my great trepidation, by an almost imperceptible start on the part of the lady, that she had become suddenly aware of the intensity of my gaze. Still, I was absolutely fascinated, and could not withdraw it, even for an instant. She turned aside her face, and again I saw only the chiselled contour of the back portion of the head. After some minutes, as if urged by curiosity to see if I was still looking, she gradually brought her face again around and again encountered my burning gaze. Her large dark eyes fell instantly, and a deep blush mantled her cheek. But what was my astonishment at perceiving that she not only did not a second time avert her head, but that she actually took from her girdle a double eyeglass—elevated it—adjusted it—and then regarded me through it, intently and deliberately, for the space of several minutes.

While I was enjoying the view, I noticed, to my great worry, that the lady had suddenly realized how intently I was staring at her, by the almost imperceptible movement she made. Still, I was completely captivated and couldn’t look away, even for a moment. She turned her face away, and once again I only saw the sculpted outline of the back of her head. After a few minutes, as if driven by curiosity to see if I was still watching, she slowly turned her face back around and found my intense gaze waiting for her. Her large dark eyes instantly dropped, and a deep blush spread across her cheek. But I was amazed to see that not only did she not turn her head away again, but she actually took a pair of glasses from her belt—raised them—adjusted them—and then looked at me through them, intently and deliberately, for several minutes.

Had a thunderbolt fallen at my feet I could not have been more thoroughly astounded—astounded only—not offended or disgusted in the slightest degree; although an action so bold in any other woman would have been likely to offend or disgust. But the whole thing was done with so much quietude—so much nonchalance—so much repose—with so evident an air of the highest breeding, in short—that nothing of mere effrontery was perceptible, and my sole sentiments were those of admiration and surprise.

Had a thunderbolt struck at my feet, I couldn't have been more completely amazed—amazed only—not offended or disgusted in the slightest; even though an action so daring from any other woman might have likely offended or disgusted me. But the whole thing was carried out with such calmness—such ease—such poise—with a clear air of the utmost sophistication, that nothing resembling mere boldness was noticeable, and all I felt was admiration and surprise.

I observed that, upon her first elevation of the glass, she had seemed satisfied with a momentary inspection of my person, and was withdrawing the instrument, when, as if struck by a second thought, she resumed it, and so continued to regard me with fixed attention for the space of several minutes—for five minutes, at the very least, I am sure.

I noticed that when she first lifted the glass, she seemed pleased after a quick look at me, and was about to put it down, but then, as if having a second thought, she kept it up and focused on me intently for several minutes—at least five minutes, I’m certain.

This action, so remarkable in an American theatre, attracted very general observation, and gave rise to an indefinite movement, or buzz, among the audience, which for a moment filled me with confusion, but produced no visible effect upon the countenance of Madame Lalande.

This action, so outstanding in an American theater, drew a lot of attention and created a vague buzz among the audience, which momentarily confused me, but had no noticeable impact on Madame Lalande's face.

Having satisfied her curiosity—if such it was—she dropped the glass, and quietly gave her attention again to the stage; her profile now being turned toward myself, as before. I continued to watch her unremittingly, although I was fully conscious of my rudeness in so doing. Presently I saw the head slowly and slightly change its position; and soon I became convinced that the lady, while pretending to look at the stage was, in fact, attentively regarding myself. It is needless to say what effect this conduct, on the part of so fascinating a woman, had upon my excitable mind.

Having satisfied her curiosity—if that’s what it was—she dropped the glass and quietly focused on the stage again, her profile now turned toward me, just like before. I kept watching her intensely, even though I knew I was being rude. Eventually, I noticed her head slowly and slightly shift its position; soon, I became convinced that the woman, while pretending to look at the stage, was actually paying close attention to me. It goes without saying what impact this behavior, coming from such an attractive woman, had on my restless mind.

Having thus scrutinized me for perhaps a quarter of an hour, the fair object of my passion addressed the gentleman who attended her, and while she spoke, I saw distinctly, by the glances of both, that the conversation had reference to myself.

Having examined me for about fifteen minutes, the beautiful woman I was infatuated with spoke to the man assisting her, and while she talked, I could clearly see from their looks that they were discussing me.

Upon its conclusion, Madame Lalande again turned toward the stage, and, for a few minutes, seemed absorbed in the performance. At the expiration of this period, however, I was thrown into an extremity of agitation by seeing her unfold, for the second time, the eye-glass which hung at her side, fully confront me as before, and, disregarding the renewed buzz of the audience, survey me, from head to foot, with the same miraculous composure which had previously so delighted and confounded my soul.

Upon finishing, Madame Lalande turned back to the stage and, for a few minutes, seemed completely absorbed in the performance. However, after a short while, I was thrown into a state of extreme agitation when I saw her take out the eye-glass that hung at her side, facing me directly just like before. Ignoring the chatter of the audience, she examined me from head to toe with the same remarkable calm that had both delighted and confused me earlier.

This extraordinary behavior, by throwing me into a perfect fever of excitement—into an absolute delirium of love—served rather to embolden than to disconcert me. In the mad intensity of my devotion, I forgot everything but the presence and the majestic loveliness of the vision which confronted my gaze. Watching my opportunity, when I thought the audience were fully engaged with the opera, I at length caught the eyes of Madame Lalande, and, upon the instant, made a slight but unmistakable bow.

This extraordinary behavior, by throwing me into a total frenzy of excitement—into a complete rush of love—only served to empower me rather than throw me off. In the wild intensity of my devotion, I forgot everything except the presence and the stunning beauty of the vision in front of me. Waiting for the right moment, when I thought the audience was fully absorbed in the opera, I finally caught Madame Lalande's eye and, in that instant, gave a slight but unmistakable bow.

She blushed very deeply—then averted her eyes—then slowly and cautiously looked around, apparently to see if my rash action had been noticed—then leaned over toward the gentleman who sat by her side.

She blushed deeply, then looked away, then slowly and carefully glanced around, seemingly to check if anyone had noticed my impulsive move, and then leaned toward the man sitting next to her.

I now felt a burning sense of the impropriety I had committed, and expected nothing less than instant exposure; while a vision of pistols upon the morrow floated rapidly and uncomfortably through my brain. I was greatly and immediately relieved, however, when I saw the lady merely hand the gentleman a play-bill, without speaking; but the reader may form some feeble conception of my astonishment—of my profound amazement—my delirious bewilderment of heart and soul—when, instantly afterward, having again glanced furtively around, she allowed her bright eyes to set fully and steadily upon my own, and then, with a faint smile, disclosing a bright line of her pearly teeth, made two distinct, pointed, and unequivocal affirmative inclinations of the head.

I felt a strong sense of regret for what I had done and expected to be exposed at any moment; images of guns the next day raced quickly and uncomfortably through my mind. I was greatly relieved, however, when I saw the lady just hand the gentleman a playbill without saying anything. But the reader can get a glimpse of my shock—my deep amazement—my overwhelming confusion of heart and soul—when, right after that, having glanced nervously around again, she let her bright eyes lock onto mine and then, with a slight smile showing a flash of her pearly teeth, gave two distinct, pointed, and clear nods of her head.

It is useless, of course, to dwell upon my joy—upon my transport—upon my illimitable ecstasy of heart. If ever man was mad with excess of happiness, it was myself at that moment. I loved. This was my first love—so I felt it to be. It was love supreme—indescribable. It was “love at first sight;” and at first sight, too, it had been appreciated and returned.

It’s pointless, of course, to talk about my joy—my excitement—my overwhelming happiness. If anyone ever felt insane from too much joy, it was me at that moment. I was in love. This was my first love—at least, that’s how I felt. It was an incredible love—indescribable. It was "love at first sight," and even at first sight, it was recognized and reciprocated.

Yes, returned. How and why should I doubt it for an instant. What other construction could I possibly put upon such conduct, on the part of a lady so beautiful—so wealthy—evidently so accomplished—of so high breeding—of so lofty a position in society—in every regard so entirely respectable as I felt assured was Madame Lalande? Yes, she loved me—she returned the enthusiasm of my love, with an enthusiasm as blind—as uncompromising—as uncalculating—as abandoned—and as utterly unbounded as my own! These delicious fancies and reflections, however, were now interrupted by the falling of the drop-curtain. The audience arose; and the usual tumult immediately supervened. Quitting Talbot abruptly, I made every effort to force my way into closer proximity with Madame Lalande. Having failed in this, on account of the crowd, I at length gave up the chase, and bent my steps homeward; consoling myself for my disappointment in not having been able to touch even the hem of her robe, by the reflection that I should be introduced by Talbot, in due form, upon the morrow.

Yes, she came back. Why should I doubt it for even a moment? What other interpretation could I possibly have of the actions of a lady who is so beautiful, so wealthy, clearly so talented, of such high status, and entirely respectable like Madame Lalande? Yes, she loved me—she matched my passionate feelings with an enthusiasm that was just as blind, uncompromising, uncalculating, reckless, and completely limitless as my own! However, these delightful thoughts were interrupted by the falling of the curtain. The audience stood up, and the usual chaos ensued. I left Talbot abruptly and tried to get closer to Madame Lalande. When I couldn't maneuver through the crowd, I eventually gave up and headed home, comforting myself for not having even touched the edge of her gown with the thought that Talbot would introduce me properly tomorrow.

This morrow at last came, that is to say, a day finally dawned upon a long and weary night of impatience; and then the hours until “one” were snail-paced, dreary, and innumerable. But even Stamboul, it is said, shall have an end, and there came an end to this long delay. The clock struck. As the last echo ceased, I stepped into B——’s and inquired for Talbot.

This morning finally arrived, a day after a long and exhausting night of impatience; and the hours until “one” crawled by, dull and endless. But even Stamboul, it's said, must come to an end, and so did this long wait. The clock struck. As the last echo faded, I walked into B——’s and asked for Talbot.

“Out,” said the footman—Talbot’s own.

“Out,” said the footman—Talbot’s own.

“Out!” I replied, staggering back half a dozen paces—“let me tell you, my fine fellow, that this thing is thoroughly impossible and impracticable; Mr. Talbot is not out. What do you mean?”

“Out!” I said, stepping back about six paces—“let me tell you, buddy, that this is completely impossible and impractical; Mr. Talbot is not out. What are you talking about?”

“Nothing, sir; only Mr. Talbot is not in, that’s all. He rode over to S——, immediately after breakfast, and left word that he would not be in town again for a week.”

“Nothing, sir; just that Mr. Talbot isn’t in, that’s all. He rode over to S—— right after breakfast and left a message saying he wouldn’t be back in town for a week.”

I stood petrified with horror and rage. I endeavored to reply, but my tongue refused its office. At length I turned on my heel, livid with wrath, and inwardly consigning the whole tribe of the Talbots to the innermost regions of Erebus. It was evident that my considerate friend, il fanatico, had quite forgotten his appointment with myself—had forgotten it as soon as it was made. At no time was he a very scrupulous man of his word. There was no help for it; so smothering my vexation as well as I could, I strolled moodily up the street, propounding futile inquiries about Madame Lalande to every male acquaintance I met. By report she was known, I found, to all—to many by sight—but she had been in town only a few weeks, and there were very few, therefore, who claimed her personal acquaintance. These few, being still comparatively strangers, could not, or would not, take the liberty of introducing me through the formality of a morning call. While I stood thus in despair, conversing with a trio of friends upon the all-absorbing subject of my heart, it so happened that the subject itself passed by.

I stood frozen in horror and anger. I tried to respond, but my tongue wouldn't cooperate. Finally, I turned away, seething with rage, and internally wishing the whole Talbot family to the darkest depths of hell. It was clear that my well-meaning friend, il fanatico, had completely forgotten our appointment—forgotten it as soon as it was set. He was never really the most trustworthy person when it came to keeping his word. There was no way around it; so, trying to hide my frustration as best as I could, I walked slowly up the street, asking every guy I met about Madame Lalande without any luck. I discovered that she was known to everyone—many recognized her, but she had only been in town a few weeks, so very few actually knew her personally. Those few, still being somewhat strangers to her, didn't feel comfortable introducing me through the formalities of a morning visit. While I stood there in despair, discussing my obsession with a group of friends, the very subject of my thoughts happened to pass by.

“As I live, there she is!” cried one.

“As I live, there she is!” one shouted.

“Surprisingly beautiful!” exclaimed a second.

“Surprisingly beautiful!” said another.

“An angel upon earth!” ejaculated a third.

"An angel on earth!" exclaimed a third.

I looked; and in an open carriage which approached us, passing slowly down the street, sat the enchanting vision of the opera, accompanied by the younger lady who had occupied a portion of her box.

I looked, and in an open carriage that was coming toward us, moving slowly down the street, sat the stunning image from the opera, along with the younger woman who had shared part of her box.

“Her companion also wears remarkably well,” said the one of my trio who had spoken first.

“Her companion looks pretty good too,” said the one of my trio who spoke first.

“Astonishingly,” said the second; “still quite a brilliant air, but art will do wonders. Upon my word, she looks better than she did at Paris five years ago. A beautiful woman still;—don’t you think so, Froissart?—Simpson, I mean.”

“Astonishingly,” said the second; “still quite a brilliant vibe, but art can do wonders. Honestly, she looks better than she did in Paris five years ago. A beautiful woman still;—don’t you think so, Froissart?—Simpson, I mean.”

Still!” said I, “and why shouldn’t she be? But compared with her friend she is as a rush-light to the evening star—a glow-worm to Antares.”

Still!” I said, “and why shouldn’t she be? But compared to her friend, she’s like a candle to the evening star—a glow-worm to Antares.”

“Ha! ha! ha!—why, Simpson, you have an astonishing tact at making discoveries—original ones, I mean.” And here we separated, while one of the trio began humming a gay vaudeville, of which I caught only the lines—

“Ha! Ha! Ha!—Simpson, you really have a remarkable talent for making discoveries—original ones, I mean.” And then we parted ways, as one of the group started humming a lively vaudeville, from which I only caught the lines—

Ninon, Ninon, Ninon à bas—
A bas Ninon De L’Enclos!

Ninon, Ninon, Ninon down with—
Down with Ninon De L’Enclos!

During this little scene, however, one thing had served greatly to console me, although it fed the passion by which I was consumed. As the carriage of Madame Lalande rolled by our group, I had observed that she recognized me; and more than this, she had blessed me, by the most seraphic of all imaginable smiles, with no equivocal mark of the recognition.

During this brief moment, one thing really helped to comfort me, even though it fueled the passion that was consuming me. As Madame Lalande's carriage passed by our group, I noticed that she recognized me; and more than that, she had blessed me with the most angelic smile imaginable, clearly showing her recognition.

As for an introduction, I was obliged to abandon all hope of it until such time as Talbot should think proper to return from the country. In the meantime I perseveringly frequented every reputable place of public amusement; and, at length, at the theatre, where I first saw her, I had the supreme bliss of meeting her, and of exchanging glances with her once again. This did not occur, however, until the lapse of a fortnight. Every day, in the interim, I had inquired for Talbot at his hotel, and every day had been thrown into a spasm of wrath by the everlasting “Not come home yet” of his footman.

As for an introduction, I had to give up all hope of it until Talbot decided to come back from the country. In the meantime, I kept going to every respectable place for entertainment; and finally, at the theater where I first saw her, I experienced the incredible joy of meeting her and exchanging glances once again. However, this didn’t happen until two weeks later. Every day during that time, I had asked for Talbot at his hotel, and every day I was filled with rage by his footman’s constant, “Not home yet.”

Upon the evening in question, therefore, I was in a condition little short of madness. Madame Lalande, I had been told, was a Parisian—had lately arrived from Paris—might she not suddenly return?—return before Talbot came back—and might she not be thus lost to me forever? The thought was too terrible to bear. Since my future happiness was at issue, I resolved to act with a manly decision. In a word, upon the breaking up of the play, I traced the lady to her residence, noted the address, and the next morning sent her a full and elaborate letter, in which I poured out my whole heart.

That evening, I felt almost crazy. I had heard that Madame Lalande was from Paris—she had just arrived from Paris—what if she decided to leave again? What if she returned before Talbot got back—would I lose her forever? The thought was too much to handle. Since my future happiness was on the line, I decided to take decisive action. In short, after the play ended, I followed the lady to her home, noted the address, and the next morning, I wrote her a long and heartfelt letter where I expressed everything I felt.

I spoke boldly, freely—in a word, I spoke with passion. I concealed nothing—nothing even of my weakness. I alluded to the romantic circumstances of our first meeting—even to the glances which had passed between us. I went so far as to say that I felt assured of her love; while I offered this assurance, and my own intensity of devotion, as two excuses for my otherwise unpardonable conduct. As a third, I spoke of my fear that she might quit the city before I could have the opportunity of a formal introduction. I concluded the most wildly enthusiastic epistle ever penned, with a frank declaration of my worldly circumstances—of my affluence—and with an offer of my heart and of my hand.

I spoke confidently and openly—in short, I spoke with passion. I hid nothing—not even my vulnerabilities. I mentioned the romantic details of our first meeting—even the looks we shared. I went so far as to say that I was sure of her feelings for me; I presented this assurance and my intense devotion as two justifications for my otherwise unforgivable behavior. As a third reason, I expressed my concern that she might leave the city before I had a chance for a proper introduction. I ended the most wildly enthusiastic letter ever written with a honest account of my situation—my wealth—and with a proposal of my heart and my hand.

In an agony of expectation I awaited the reply. After what seemed the lapse of a century it came.

In a painful state of anticipation, I waited for the response. After what felt like an eternity, it finally arrived.

Yes, actually came. Romantic as all this may appear, I really received a letter from Madame Lalande—the beautiful, the wealthy, the idolized Madame Lalande. Her eyes—her magnificent eyes, had not belied her noble heart. Like a true Frenchwoman as she was she had obeyed the frank dictates of her reason—the generous impulses of her nature—despising the conventional pruderies of the world. She had not scorned my proposals. She had not sheltered herself in silence. She had not returned my letter unopened. She had even sent me, in reply, one penned by her own exquisite fingers. It ran thus:

Yes, she actually came. As romantic as this may sound, I really received a letter from Madame Lalande—the beautiful, the wealthy, the idolized Madame Lalande. Her eyes—her stunning eyes—did not betray her noble heart. True to her nature as a Frenchwoman, she followed the honest calls of her reason and the generous impulses of her character, ignoring the conventional pruderies of the world. She didn't dismiss my proposals. She didn't shy away in silence. She didn’t send my letter back unread. She even replied with a letter written in her own beautiful handwriting. It said:

“Monsieur Simpson vill pardonne me for not compose de butefulle tong of his contrée so vell as might. It is only de late dat I am arrive, and not yet ave do opportunité for to—l’étudier.

“Monsieur Simpson will forgive me for not composing a beautiful tune of his country as well as I could. I only arrived recently, and I haven’t had the opportunity to study it yet.”

“Vid dis apologie for the manière, I vill now say dat, hélas!—Monsieur Simpson ave guess but de too true. Need I say de more? Hélas! am I not ready speak de too moshe?

“Vid this apology for the manner, I will now say that, unfortunately!—Mr. Simpson has guessed but too well. Do I need to say more? Unfortunately! Am I not ready to speak too much?

“EUGENIE LALAND.”

“Eugénie Laland.”

This noble-spirited note I kissed a million times, and committed, no doubt, on its account, a thousand other extravagances that have now escaped my memory. Still Talbot would not return. Alas! could he have formed even the vaguest idea of the suffering his absence had occasioned his friend, would not his sympathizing nature have flown immediately to my relief? Still, however, he came not. I wrote. He replied. He was detained by urgent business—but would shortly return. He begged me not to be impatient—to moderate my transports—to read soothing books—to drink nothing stronger than Hock—and to bring the consolations of philosophy to my aid. The fool! if he could not come himself, why, in the name of every thing rational, could he not have enclosed me a letter of presentation? I wrote him again, entreating him to forward one forthwith. My letter was returned by that footman, with the following endorsement in pencil. The scoundrel had joined his master in the country:

This noble-spirited note, I kissed a million times, and I’m sure I ended up doing a thousand other silly things because of it that I've now forgotten. Still, Talbot wouldn’t come back. Oh! If he could have even the slightest idea of the pain his absence caused his friend, wouldn’t his kind nature have rushed to help me? But still, he did not come. I wrote to him. He replied. He was held up by urgent matters—but promised he’d be back soon. He asked me not to be impatient—to control my feelings—to read calming books—to drink nothing stronger than Hock—and to bring the comforts of philosophy to help me. What a fool! If he couldn’t come himself, then why, for the sake of all that’s rational, couldn’t he have sent me a letter of introduction? I wrote to him again, begging him to send one right away. My letter was returned by that footman, with the following note scribbled in pencil. The scoundrel had joined his master in the countryside:

“Left S—— yesterday, for parts unknown—did not say where—or when be back—so thought best to return letter, knowing your handwriting, and as how you is always, more or less, in a hurry.

“Left S—— yesterday, for parts unknown—did not say where—or when will be back—so thought it was best to return the letter, knowing your handwriting, and that you are always, more or less, in a hurry."

“Yours sincerely,

"Best regards,"

“STUBBS.”

“STUBBS.”

After this, it is needless to say, that I devoted to the infernal deities both master and valet:—but there was little use in anger, and no consolation at all in complaint.

After this, it's needless to say that I dedicated both the master and the servant to the hellish gods:—but there was little point in anger, and no comfort at all in complaining.

But I had yet a resource left, in my constitutional audacity. Hitherto it had served me well, and I now resolved to make it avail me to the end. Besides, after the correspondence which had passed between us, what act of mere informality could I commit, within bounds, that ought to be regarded as indecorous by Madame Lalande? Since the affair of the letter, I had been in the habit of watching her house, and thus discovered that, about twilight, it was her custom to promenade, attended only by a negro in livery, in a public square overlooked by her windows. Here, amid the luxuriant and shadowing groves, in the gray gloom of a sweet midsummer evening, I observed my opportunity and accosted her.

But I still had one resource left: my natural boldness. Up until now, it had served me well, and I decided to leverage it to the fullest. Also, after the exchanges we had, how could any minor act I committed seem inappropriate to Madame Lalande? Ever since the incident with the letter, I had been keeping an eye on her house and noticed that, around twilight, she usually took a walk, accompanied only by a servant in a black uniform, in a public square visible from her windows. It was here, among the lush and shady trees, in the soft twilight of a lovely midsummer evening, that I saw my chance and approached her.

The better to deceive the servant in attendance, I did this with the assured air of an old and familiar acquaintance. With a presence of mind truly Parisian, she took the cue at once, and, to greet me, held out the most bewitchingly little of hands. The valet at once fell into the rear, and now, with hearts full to overflowing, we discoursed long and unreservedly of our love.

To better fool the servant who was present, I acted like an old friend. With a truly Parisian composure, she picked up on it immediately and greeted me with the most charming little hands. The valet stepped back, and now, with our hearts full, we talked openly and at length about our love.

As Madame Lalande spoke English even less fluently than she wrote it, our conversation was necessarily in French. In this sweet tongue, so adapted to passion, I gave loose to the impetuous enthusiasm of my nature, and, with all the eloquence I could command, besought her to consent to an immediate marriage.

As Madame Lalande spoke English even less fluently than she wrote it, our conversation had to be in French. In this beautiful language, so suited to passion, I let my intense enthusiasm flow freely and, with all the eloquence I could muster, urged her to agree to an immediate marriage.

At this impatience she smiled. She urged the old story of decorum—that bug-bear which deters so many from bliss until the opportunity for bliss has forever gone by. I had most imprudently made it known among my friends, she observed, that I desired her acquaintance—thus that I did not possess it—thus, again, there was no possibility of concealing the date of our first knowledge of each other. And then she adverted, with a blush, to the extreme recency of this date. To wed immediately would be improper—would be indecorous—would be outre. All this she said with a charming air of naivete which enraptured while it grieved and convinced me. She went even so far as to accuse me, laughingly, of rashness—of imprudence. She bade me remember that I really even knew not who she was—what were her prospects, her connections, her standing in society. She begged me, but with a sigh, to reconsider my proposal, and termed my love an infatuation—a will o’ the wisp—a fancy or fantasy of the moment—a baseless and unstable creation rather of the imagination than of the heart. These things she uttered as the shadows of the sweet twilight gathered darkly and more darkly around us—and then, with a gentle pressure of her fairy-like hand, overthrew, in a single sweet instant, all the argumentative fabric she had reared.

At her impatience, she smiled. She brought up the old idea of decorum—that pesky factor that stops so many from finding happiness until the chance for it has completely passed them by. I had foolishly let it slip to my friends that I wanted to know her—meaning that I didn't actually know her—so, again, there was no way to hide when we first met. Then she blushed as she mentioned how recently that had been. Getting married right away would be inappropriate—would be improper—would be way too forward. She said all this with a charming innocence that both captivated and saddened me, and made me believe her. She even playfully accused me of being rash—of being impulsive. She reminded me that I really didn’t even know who she was—what her future looked like, who she was related to, or her status in society. She asked me, with a sigh, to rethink my proposal, calling my love an infatuation—a fleeting whim—a momentary fancy—a facade created more by imagination than by genuine feeling. She said all this as the shadows of the sweet twilight grew darker around us—and then, with a gentle touch of her delicate hand, she dismantled in an instant all the arguments she had built up.

I replied as best I could—as only a true lover can. I spoke at length, and perseveringly of my devotion, of my passion—of her exceeding beauty, and of my own enthusiastic admiration. In conclusion, I dwelt, with a convincing energy, upon the perils that encompass the course of love—that course of true love that never did run smooth—and thus deduced the manifest danger of rendering that course unnecessarily long.

I responded as best I could—as only a true lover would. I talked a lot, passionately expressing my devotion—about my love for her stunning beauty and my own enthusiastic admiration. In the end, I emphasized, with convincing energy, the risks that come with love—that true love that never runs smoothly—and concluded that making that journey unnecessarily long poses a clear danger.

This latter argument seemed finally to soften the rigor of her determination. She relented; but there was yet an obstacle, she said, which she felt assured I had not properly considered. This was a delicate point—for a woman to urge, especially so; in mentioning it, she saw that she must make a sacrifice of her feelings; still, for me, every sacrifice should be made. She alluded to the topic of age. Was I aware—was I fully aware of the discrepancy between us? That the age of the husband, should surpass by a few years—even by fifteen or twenty—the age of the wife, was regarded by the world as admissible, and, indeed, as even proper; but she had always entertained the belief that the years of the wife should never exceed in number those of the husband. A discrepancy of this unnatural kind gave rise, too frequently, alas! to a life of unhappiness. Now she was aware that my own age did not exceed two and twenty; and I, on the contrary, perhaps, was not aware that the years of my Eugénie extended very considerably beyond that sum.

This latter argument finally seemed to soften her determination. She softened her stance, but there was still one obstacle, which she was sure I hadn't properly considered. This was a sensitive point—for a woman to bring up, especially. By mentioning it, she knew she had to sacrifice her feelings; still, for me, any sacrifice should be made. She referred to the topic of age. Was I aware—was I fully aware of the difference in our ages? That the age of a husband being a few years—even fifteen or twenty—older than the wife was seen as acceptable, and even proper, in society; but she had always believed that the wife's age should never exceed that of the husband. Such an unnatural age gap too often led to a life of unhappiness. Now, she knew that I was only twenty-two; and, on the other hand, I might not have realized that Eugénie’s age exceeded that by quite a bit.

About all this there was a nobility of soul—a dignity of candor—which delighted—which enchanted me—which eternally riveted my chains. I could scarcely restrain the excessive transport which possessed me.

About all this, there was a nobility of spirit—a dignity in honesty—that captivated me, that enchanted me, that forever kept me bound. I could barely control the overwhelming joy that took over me.

“My sweetest Eugénie,” I cried, “what is all this about which you are discoursing? Your years surpass in some measure my own. But what then? The customs of the world are so many conventional follies. To those who love as ourselves, in what respect differs a year from an hour? I am twenty-two, you say; granted: indeed, you may as well call me, at once, twenty-three. Now you yourself, my dearest Eugénie, can have numbered no more than—can have numbered no more than—no more than—than—than—than—”

“My sweetest Eugénie,” I exclaimed, “what are you talking about? You’re a bit older than me. But so what? The ways of the world are just a bunch of silly traditions. For those of us who love like we do, what difference does a year make compared to an hour? You say I’m twenty-two; fine, you might as well say I’m twenty-three. Now you, my dearest Eugénie, can’t be more than—can’t be more than—can’t be more than—than—than—than—”

Here I paused for an instant, in the expectation that Madame Lalande would interrupt me by supplying her true age. But a Frenchwoman is seldom direct, and has always, by way of answer to an embarrassing query, some little practical reply of her own. In the present instance, Eugénie, who for a few moments past had seemed to be searching for something in her bosom, at length let fall upon the grass a miniature, which I immediately picked up and presented to her.

Here I paused for a moment, expecting Madame Lalande to interrupt me with her actual age. But a Frenchwoman is rarely straightforward and usually has a clever response to a tricky question. In this case, Eugénie, who had seemed to be looking for something in her bosom for a few moments, finally dropped a small portrait onto the grass, which I quickly picked up and handed back to her.

“Keep it!” she said, with one of her most ravishing smiles. “Keep it for my sake—for the sake of her whom it too flatteringly represents. Besides, upon the back of the trinket you may discover, perhaps, the very information you seem to desire. It is now, to be sure, growing rather dark—but you can examine it at your leisure in the morning. In the meantime, you shall be my escort home to-night. My friends are about holding a little musical levée. I can promise you, too, some good singing. We French are not nearly so punctilious as you Americans, and I shall have no difficulty in smuggling you in, in the character of an old acquaintance.”

“Keep it!” she said, flashing one of her most enchanting smiles. “Keep it for my sake—for the sake of the person it represents so flattering. Plus, on the back of the trinket, you might find the information you seem to want. It is getting pretty dark now, but you can take a look at it whenever you like in the morning. In the meantime, you’ll be my escort home tonight. My friends are having a little musical gathering. I can promise you some great singing, too. We French aren’t nearly as formal as you Americans, and I’ll have no trouble sneaking you in as an old friend.”

With this, she took my arm, and I attended her home. The mansion was quite a fine one, and, I believe, furnished in good taste. Of this latter point, however, I am scarcely qualified to judge; for it was just dark as we arrived; and in American mansions of the better sort lights seldom, during the heat of summer, make their appearance at this, the most pleasant period of the day. In about an hour after my arrival, to be sure, a single shaded solar lamp was lit in the principal drawing-room; and this apartment, I could thus see, was arranged with unusual good taste and even splendor; but two other rooms of the suite, and in which the company chiefly assembled, remained, during the whole evening, in a very agreeable shadow. This is a well-conceived custom, giving the party at least a choice of light or shade, and one which our friends over the water could not do better than immediately adopt.

With that, she took my arm, and I went to her home. The mansion was quite impressive, and I believe it was furnished tastefully. However, I'm not really in a position to judge that; it was just getting dark when we arrived, and in nicer American mansions, lights rarely come on during the summer heat at this, the most enjoyable time of day. About an hour after I got there, sure enough, a single shaded lamp was turned on in the main drawing room, and I could see that this room was arranged with remarkable taste and even some elegance; however, the other two rooms in the suite, where most of the guests gathered, stayed in a pleasant shadow the entire evening. This is a smart custom, giving the party at least a choice between light or shade, and it’s something our friends across the pond would do well to adopt immediately.

The evening thus spent was unquestionably the most delicious of my life. Madame Lalande had not overrated the musical abilities of her friends; and the singing I here heard I had never heard excelled in any private circle out of Vienna. The instrumental performers were many and of superior talents. The vocalists were chiefly ladies, and no individual sang less than well. At length, upon a peremptory call for “Madame Lalande,” she arose at once, without affectation or demur, from the chaise longue upon which she had sat by my side, and, accompanied by one or two gentlemen and her female friend of the opera, repaired to the piano in the main drawing-room. I would have escorted her myself, but felt that, under the circumstances of my introduction to the house, I had better remain unobserved where I was. I was thus deprived of the pleasure of seeing, although not of hearing, her sing.

The evening we spent was definitely the most enjoyable of my life. Madame Lalande didn't exaggerate the musical talent of her friends; the singing I heard here was better than anything I'd experienced in any private setting outside of Vienna. The instrumentalists were numerous and exceptionally skilled. The singers were mostly women, and each one sang at least well. Finally, when they called for "Madame Lalande," she immediately got up from the chaise longue where she had been sitting next to me, without any pretense or hesitation. She went to the piano in the main drawing-room, accompanied by a couple of gentlemen and her female friend from the opera. I wanted to walk her there myself, but I felt it was better to stay unnoticed given how I was introduced to the house. So, I missed the chance to see her sing, even though I could still hear her.

The impression she produced upon the company seemed electrical—but the effect upon myself was something even more. I know not how adequately to describe it. It arose in part, no doubt, from the sentiment of love with which I was imbued; but chiefly from my conviction of the extreme sensibility of the singer. It is beyond the reach of art to endow either air or recitative with more impassioned expression than was hers. Her utterance of the romance in Otello—the tone with which she gave the words “Sul mio sasso,” in the Capuletti—is ringing in my memory yet. Her lower tones were absolutely miraculous. Her voice embraced three complete octaves, extending from the contralto D to the D upper soprano, and, though sufficiently powerful to have filled the San Carlos, executed, with the minutest precision, every difficulty of vocal composition—ascending and descending scales, cadences, or fiorituri. In the final of the Somnambula, she brought about a most remarkable effect at the words:

The impact she had on the crowd felt electric—but the effect on me was something even deeper. I can't quite find the words to describe it. Part of it was definitely due to the love I felt; but mostly, it came from my belief in the singer's incredible sensitivity. It's impossible for anyone to create more passionate expression in either melody or recitative than she did. Her performance of the romance in Otello—the way she sang the words “Sul mio sasso” in the Capuletti—still resonates in my memory. Her lower tones were truly miraculous. Her voice spanned three full octaves, from the contralto D to the upper soprano D, and, while powerful enough to fill the San Carlos, she handled every vocal challenge with incredible precision—ascending and descending scales, cadences, or fiorituri. In the finale of the Somnambula, she created a remarkable effect with the words:

Ah! non guinge uman pensiero
Al contento ond ’io son piena.

Ah! No human thought
Can grasp the joy that I feel.

Here, in imitation of Malibran, she modified the original phrase of Bellini, so as to let her voice descend to the tenor G, when, by a rapid transition, she struck the G above the treble stave, springing over an interval of two octaves.

Here, following Malibran's example, she changed Bellini's original phrase to allow her voice to go down to the tenor G, and then, with a quick shift, she hit the G above the treble staff, leaping over an interval of two octaves.

Upon rising from the piano after these miracles of vocal execution, she resumed her seat by my side; when I expressed to her, in terms of the deepest enthusiasm, my delight at her performance. Of my surprise I said nothing, and yet was I most unfeignedly surprised; for a certain feebleness, or rather a certain tremulous indecision of voice in ordinary conversation, had prepared me to anticipate that, in singing, she would not acquit herself with any remarkable ability.

After getting up from the piano following those amazing vocal performances, she took her seat next to me again. I told her, with genuine excitement, how much I loved her performance. I didn't mention my surprise, but I was truly taken aback; her usual quietness, or rather her hesitant way of speaking in everyday conversations, made me think she wouldn't be able to sing well.

Our conversation was now long, earnest, uninterrupted, and totally unreserved. She made me relate many of the earlier passages of my life, and listened with breathless attention to every word of the narrative. I concealed nothing—felt that I had a right to conceal nothing—from her confiding affection. Encouraged by her candor upon the delicate point of her age, I entered, with perfect frankness, not only into a detail of my many minor vices, but made full confession of those moral and even of those physical infirmities, the disclosure of which, in demanding so much higher a degree of courage, is so much surer an evidence of love. I touched upon my college indiscretions—upon my extravagances—upon my carousals—upon my debts—upon my flirtations. I even went so far as to speak of a slightly hectic cough with which, at one time, I had been troubled—of a chronic rheumatism—of a twinge of hereditary gout—and, in conclusion, of the disagreeable and inconvenient, but hitherto carefully concealed, weakness of my eyes.

Our conversation was now long, serious, uninterrupted, and completely open. She made me share many of the earlier moments of my life, and listened intently to every word of the story. I hid nothing—felt I had no reason to hide anything from her trusting love. Encouraged by her honesty about her age, I spoke candidly, not only about my various minor flaws but also confessed my deeper moral and even physical weaknesses, which require a much higher level of courage to reveal and show true love. I mentioned my college mistakes—my excesses—my wild nights out—my debts—my flings. I even went so far as to talk about a slight cough I once had—chronic rheumatism—a twinge of hereditary gout—and finally, the annoying and inconvenient, but previously hidden, weakness of my eyes.

“Upon this latter point,” said Madame Lalande, laughingly, “you have been surely injudicious in coming to confession; for, without the confession, I take it for granted that no one would have accused you of the crime. By the by,” she continued, “have you any recollection—” and here I fancied that a blush, even through the gloom of the apartment, became distinctly visible upon her cheek—“have you any recollection, mon cher ami, of this little ocular assistant, which now depends from my neck?”

“About that last point,” Madame Lalande said with a laugh, “you've definitely made a mistake by coming to confession; because without it, I’m sure no one would have accused you of anything. By the way,” she continued, “do you remember—” and I thought I noticed a blush, even in the dim light of the room, on her cheek—“do you remember, my dear friend, this little eyeglass that’s hanging around my neck?”

As she spoke she twirled in her fingers the identical double eye-glass which had so overwhelmed me with confusion at the opera.

As she talked, she twirled the same pair of binoculars in her fingers that had left me so confused at the opera.

“Full well—alas! do I remember it,” I exclaimed, pressing passionately the delicate hand which offered the glasses for my inspection. They formed a complex and magnificent toy, richly chased and filigreed, and gleaming with jewels, which, even in the deficient light, I could not help perceiving were of high value.

“Absolutely—I remember it all too well,” I said, holding the delicate hand that offered the glasses for my inspection with great intensity. They were a complex and beautiful toy, intricately designed and decorated, sparkling with jewels that, even in the dim light, I could tell were very valuable.

Eh bien! mon ami,” she resumed with a certain empressment of manner that rather surprised me—“Eh bien! mon ami, you have earnestly besought of me a favor which you have been pleased to denominate priceless. You have demanded of me my hand upon the morrow. Should I yield to your entreaties—and, I may add, to the pleadings of my own bosom—would I not be entitled to demand of you a very—a very little boon in return?”

Well! my friend, she continued with a certain eagerness that surprised me—Well! my friend, you have sincerely asked me for a favor that you’ve called priceless. You have requested my hand for tomorrow. If I agree to your pleas—and I must admit, to the whispers of my own heart—would I not be justified in asking for a small favor in return?

“Name it!” I exclaimed with an energy that had nearly drawn upon us the observation of the company, and restrained by their presence alone from throwing myself impetuously at her feet. “Name it, my beloved, my Eugénie, my own!—name it!—but, alas! it is already yielded ere named.”

“Just say it!” I exclaimed with a passion that almost attracted the attention of those around us, held back only by their presence from throwing myself at her feet. “Say it, my love, my Eugénie, my own!—just say it!—but, sadly, it has already been given away before it was named.”

“You shall conquer, then, mon ami,” said she, “for the sake of the Eugénie whom you love, this little weakness which you have at last confessed—this weakness more moral than physical—and which, let me assure you, is so unbecoming the nobility of your real nature—so inconsistent with the candor of your usual character—and which, if permitted further control, will assuredly involve you, sooner or later, in some very disagreeable scrape. You shall conquer, for my sake, this affectation which leads you, as you yourself acknowledge, to the tacit or implied denial of your infirmity of vision. For, this infirmity you virtually deny, in refusing to employ the customary means for its relief. You will understand me to say, then, that I wish you to wear spectacles;—ah, hush!—you have already consented to wear them, for my sake. You shall accept the little toy which I now hold in my hand, and which, though admirable as an aid to vision, is really of no very immense value as a gem. You perceive that, by a trifling modification thus—or thus—it can be adapted to the eyes in the form of spectacles, or worn in the waistcoat pocket as an eye-glass. It is in the former mode, however, and habitually, that you have already consented to wear it for my sake.”

“You will conquer, then, my friend,” she said, “for the sake of Eugénie whom you love. This little weakness that you have finally admitted—this weakness that is more about your character than your physical state—and which, let me assure you, doesn’t suit the nobility of your true nature—so inconsistent with the straightforwardness of your usual self—and which, if allowed to take control, will surely lead you, sooner or later, into some really awkward situation. You will conquer, for my sake, this pretense that leads you, as you admit, to deny your vision problem. This problem you essentially deny by refusing to use the usual means for its correction. So, to be clear, I want you to wear glasses;—oh, hush!—you have already agreed to wear them for me. You will accept this little item that I am holding in my hand, which, while excellent for helping your vision, isn’t really worth much as a jewel. You see that, with a slight adjustment like this—or this—it can be made into spectacles or carried in your waistcoat pocket as a monocle. However, it is in the former way, as spectacles, that you have already accepted to wear it for my sake.”

This request—must I confess it?—confused me in no little degree. But the condition with which it was coupled rendered hesitation, of course, a matter altogether out of the question.

This request—should I admit it?—really confused me. But the condition that came with it made any hesitation completely out of the question.

“It is done!” I cried, with all the enthusiasm that I could muster at the moment. “It is done—it is most cheerfully agreed. I sacrifice every feeling for your sake. To-night I wear this dear eye-glass, as an eye-glass, and upon my heart; but with the earliest dawn of that morning which gives me the pleasure of calling you wife, I will place it upon my—upon my nose,—and there wear it ever afterward, in the less romantic, and less fashionable, but certainly in the more serviceable, form which you desire.”

“It’s done!” I exclaimed, with all the enthusiasm I could muster at that moment. “It’s done—it’s most happily agreed. I’m sacrificing every feeling for your sake. Tonight I’ll wear this precious eyeglass, as an eyeglass, and keep it close to my heart; but at the first light of that morning when I get the pleasure of calling you my wife, I’ll put it on my—on my nose—and wear it that way from then on, in the less romantic, but definitely more practical, style that you want.”

Our conversation now turned upon the details of our arrangements for the morrow. Talbot, I learned from my betrothed, had just arrived in town. I was to see him at once, and procure a carriage. The soirée would scarcely break up before two; and by this hour the vehicle was to be at the door; when, in the confusion occasioned by the departure of the company, Madame L. could easily enter it unobserved. We were then to call at the house of a clergyman who would be in waiting; there be married, drop Talbot, and proceed on a short tour to the East; leaving the fashionable world at home to make whatever comments upon the matter it thought best.

Our conversation shifted to our plans for tomorrow. I found out from my fiancé that Talbot had just arrived in town. I was supposed to see him right away and get a carriage. The soirée wouldn’t wrap up until around two; by then, the carriage was to be at the door so that, amidst the chaos of everyone leaving, Madame L. could easily get in unnoticed. After that, we would stop by a clergyman’s house who would be waiting; there, we would get married, drop Talbot off, and head on a short trip to the East, leaving the fashionable crowd at home to speculate however they wanted.

Having planned all this, I immediately took leave, and went in search of Talbot, but, on the way, I could not refrain from stepping into a hotel, for the purpose of inspecting the miniature; and this I did by the powerful aid of the glasses. The countenance was a surpassingly beautiful one! Those large luminous eyes!—that proud Grecian nose!—those dark luxuriant curls!—“Ah!” said I, exultingly to myself, “this is indeed the speaking image of my beloved!” I turned the reverse, and discovered the words—“Eugénie Lalande—aged twenty-seven years and seven months.”

Having planned all this, I immediately took my leave and went in search of Talbot. But on the way, I couldn't help but stop into a hotel to check out the miniature. I did this with the help of my glasses. The face was incredibly beautiful! Those large, glowing eyes! That proud Grecian nose! Those dark, abundant curls! “Ah!” I said to myself, filled with excitement, “this is truly the spitting image of my beloved!” I flipped it over and saw the words—“Eugénie Lalande—aged twenty-seven years and seven months.”

I found Talbot at home, and proceeded at once to acquaint him with my good fortune. He professed excessive astonishment, of course, but congratulated me most cordially, and proffered every assistance in his power. In a word, we carried out our arrangement to the letter, and, at two in the morning, just ten minutes after the ceremony, I found myself in a close carriage with Madame Lalande—with Mrs. Simpson, I should say—and driving at a great rate out of town, in a direction northeast by north, half-north.

I found Talbot at home and immediately told him about my good luck. He pretended to be very surprised, of course, but warmly congratulated me and offered all the help he could. In short, we followed through with our plan exactly, and at two in the morning, just ten minutes after the ceremony, I ended up in a closed carriage with Madame Lalande—Mrs. Simpson, I mean—and we were speeding out of town, heading northeast by north, half-north.

It had been determined for us by Talbot, that, as we were to be up all night, we should make our first stop at C——, a village about twenty miles from the city, and there get an early breakfast and some repose, before proceeding upon our route. At four precisely, therefore, the carriage drew up at the door of the principal inn. I handed my adored wife out, and ordered breakfast forthwith. In the meantime we were shown into a small parlor, and sat down.

Talbot had decided for us that since we would be up all night, our first stop would be C——, a village about twenty miles from the city, where we could have an early breakfast and get some rest before continuing on our way. So, at exactly four o'clock, the carriage pulled up in front of the main inn. I helped my beloved wife out and asked for breakfast right away. In the meantime, we were shown into a small parlor and took a seat.

It was now nearly if not altogether daylight; and, as I gazed, enraptured, at the angel by my side, the singular idea came, all at once, into my head, that this was really the very first moment since my acquaintance with the celebrated loveliness of Madame Lalande, that I had enjoyed a near inspection of that loveliness by daylight at all.

It was now close to, if not completely, daylight; and as I looked, captivated, at the angel beside me, a strange thought suddenly struck me—that this was actually the very first time since I met the renowned beauty of Madame Lalande that I had the chance to see that beauty up close in daylight at all.

“And now, mon ami,” said she, taking my hand, and so interrupting this train of reflection, “and now, mon cher ami, since we are indissolubly one—since I have yielded to your passionate entreaties, and performed my portion of our agreement—I presume you have not forgotten that you also have a little favor to bestow—a little promise which it is your intention to keep. Ah! let me see! Let me remember! Yes; full easily do I call to mind the precise words of the dear promise you made to Eugénie last night. Listen! You spoke thus: ‘It is done!—it is most cheerfully agreed! I sacrifice every feeling for your sake. To-night I wear this dear eye-glass as an eye-glass, and upon my heart; but with the earliest dawn of that morning which gives me the privilege of calling you wife, I will place it upon my—upon my nose,—and there wear it ever afterward, in the less romantic, and less fashionable, but certainly in the more serviceable, form which you desire.’ These were the exact words, my beloved husband, were they not?”

“And now, my friend,” she said, taking my hand and interrupting my thoughts, “and now, my dear friend, since we are inseparable—since I have given in to your passionate requests and done my part of our agreement—I assume you haven’t forgotten that you also have a small favor to grant—a little promise you intend to keep. Ah! Let me think! Let me remember! Yes; I can easily recall the exact words of the sweet promise you made to Eugénie last night. Listen! You said: ‘It’s done!—it’s completely agreed! I’ll sacrifice every feeling for your sake. Tonight I’ll wear this lovely eye-glass as an eye-glass and close to my heart; but with the first light of that morning when I get to call you my wife, I’ll put it on my—on my nose,—and wear it forever after, in the less romantic, and less fashionable, but certainly more practical, form that you want.’ Those were the exact words, my beloved husband, weren’t they?”

“They were,” I said; “you have an excellent memory; and assuredly, my beautiful Eugénie, there is no disposition on my part to evade the performance of the trivial promise they imply. See! Behold! they are becoming—rather—are they not?” And here, having arranged the glasses in the ordinary form of spectacles, I applied them gingerly in their proper position; while Madame Simpson, adjusting her cap, and folding her arms, sat bolt upright in her chair, in a somewhat stiff and prim, and indeed, in a somewhat undignified position.

“They were,” I said; “you have a great memory; and definitely, my beautiful Eugénie, I have no intention of avoiding the trivial promise they represent. Look! See! They are becoming—aren’t they?” And with that, having positioned the glasses in the usual shape of spectacles, I carefully put them in place; while Madame Simpson, adjusting her cap and folding her arms, sat straight up in her chair, in a rather stiff and proper, and honestly, somewhat undignified position.

“Goodness gracious me!” I exclaimed, almost at the very instant that the rim of the spectacles had settled upon my nose—“My! goodness gracious me!—why, what can be the matter with these glasses?” and taking them quickly off, I wiped them carefully with a silk handkerchief, and adjusted them again.

“Wow!” I said, almost immediately after the glasses settled on my nose—“Wow! What’s wrong with these glasses?” I quickly took them off, wiped them carefully with a silk handkerchief, and put them back on.

But if, in the first instance, there had occurred something which occasioned me surprise, in the second, this surprise became elevated into astonishment; and this astonishment was profound—was extreme—indeed I may say it was horrific. What, in the name of everything hideous, did this mean? Could I believe my eyes?—could I?—that was the question. Was that—was that—was that rouge? And were those—and were those—were those wrinkles, upon the visage of Eugénie Lalande? And oh! Jupiter, and every one of the gods and goddesses, little and big!—what—what—what—what had become of her teeth? I dashed the spectacles violently to the ground, and, leaping to my feet, stood erect in the middle of the floor, confronting Mrs. Simpson, with my arms set a-kimbo, and grinning and foaming, but, at the same time, utterly speechless with terror and with rage.

But if, initially, something had surprised me, then that surprise turned into sheer astonishment; and this astonishment was deep—was extreme—in fact, I can say it was horrifying. What on earth did this mean? Could I trust my eyes?—could I?—that was the question. Was that—was that—was that makeup? And were those—and were those—were those wrinkles on Eugénie Lalande's face? And oh! Jupiter, and all the gods and goddesses, big and small!—what—what—what—what had happened to her teeth? I threw my glasses violently to the ground, and jumping to my feet, stood upright in the middle of the room, facing Mrs. Simpson, with my arms crossed and grinning and fuming, but, at the same time, utterly speechless with fear and rage.

Now I have already said that Madame Eugénie Lalande—that is to say, Simpson—spoke the English language but very little better than she wrote it, and for this reason she very properly never attempted to speak it upon ordinary occasions. But rage will carry a lady to any extreme; and in the present care it carried Mrs. Simpson to the very extraordinary extreme of attempting to hold a conversation in a tongue that she did not altogether understand.

Now I’ve already mentioned that Madame Eugénie Lalande—that is to say, Simpson—spoke English only a bit better than she wrote it, and for this reason, she wisely never tried to speak it in everyday situations. But anger can push a woman to extremes, and in this case, it drove Mrs. Simpson to the quite extraordinary step of trying to have a conversation in a language she didn’t fully understand.

“Vell, Monsieur,” said she, after surveying me, in great apparent astonishment, for some moments—“Vell, Monsieur?—and vat den?—vat de matter now? Is it de dance of de Saint itusse dat you ave? If not like me, vat for vy buy de pig in the poke?”

“Well, Mister,” she said, after looking me over in great apparent astonishment for a few moments—“Well, Mister?—and what then?—what's the matter now? Is it the dance of the Saint itusse that you have? If you don't like me, then why buy the pig in a poke?”

“You wretch!” said I, catching my breath—“you—you—you villainous old hag!”

"You scoundrel!" I gasped, trying to catch my breath—"you—you—you wicked old witch!"

“Ag?—ole?—me not so ver ole, after all! Me not one single day more dan de eighty-doo.”

“Age?—Oh?—I'm not that old after all! I'm not a single day over eighty-two.”

“Eighty-two!” I ejaculated, staggering to the wall—“eighty-two hundred thousand baboons! The miniature said twenty-seven years and seven months!”

“Eighty-two!” I exclaimed, stumbling against the wall—“eighty-two hundred thousand baboons! The label said twenty-seven years and seven months!”

“To be sure!—dat is so!—ver true! but den de portraite has been take for dese fifty-five year. Ven I go marry my segonde usbande, Monsieur Lalande, at dat time I had de portraite take for my daughter by my first usbande, Monsieur Moissart!”

"Absolutely! That's right! Very true! But the portrait has been taken for these fifty-five years. When I married my second husband, Monsieur Lalande, at that time I had the portrait taken for my daughter by my first husband, Monsieur Moissart!"

“Moissart!” said I.

"Moissart!" I said.

“Yes, Moissart,” said she, mimicking my pronunciation, which, to speak the truth, was none of the best,—“and vat den? Vat you know about de Moissart?”

“Yes, Moissart,” she said, imitating my pronunciation, which, to be honest, wasn’t very good—“and what then? What do you know about the Moissart?”

“Nothing, you old fright!—I know nothing about him at all; only I had an ancestor of that name, once upon a time.”

“Nothing, you old scare! I don’t know anything about him at all; I just had an ancestor with that name, a long time ago.”

“Dat name! and vat you ave for say to dat name? ’Tis ver goot name; and so is Voissart—dat is ver goot name too. My daughter, Mademoiselle Moissart, she marry von Monsieur Voissart,—and de name is bot ver respectable name.”

“That name! And what do you have to say about that name? It’s a good name; and so is Voissart—that’s a very good name too. My daughter, Mademoiselle Moissart, is married to Monsieur Voissart,—and both names are very respectable names.”

“Moissart?” I exclaimed, “and Voissart! Why, what is it you mean?”

“Moissart?” I said, “and Voissart! What do you mean?”

“Vat I mean?—I mean Moissart and Voissart; and for de matter of dat, I mean Croissart and Froissart, too, if I only tink proper to mean it. My daughter’s daughter, Mademoiselle Voissart, she marry von Monsieur Croissart, and den again, my daughter’s grande daughter, Mademoiselle Croissart, she marry von Monsieur Froissart; and I suppose you say dat dat is not von ver respectaable name.”

“Do you understand what I mean?—I mean Moissart and Voissart; and when it comes to that, I mean Croissart and Froissart too, if I think it's appropriate. My daughter’s daughter, Mademoiselle Voissart, married Monsieur Croissart, and then again, my daughter’s granddaughter, Mademoiselle Croissart, married Monsieur Froissart; and I guess you would say that that is not a very respectable name.”

“Froissart!” said I, beginning to faint, “why, surely you don’t say Moissart, and Voissart, and Croissart, and Froissart?”

“Froissart!” I said, starting to feel faint, “Are you really saying Moissart, Voissart, Croissart, and Froissart?”

“Yes,” she replied, leaning fully back in her chair, and stretching out her lower limbs at great length; “yes, Moissart, and Voissart, and Croissart, and Froissart. But Monsieur Froissart, he vas von ver big vat you call fool—he vas von ver great big donce like yourself—for he lef la belle France for come to dis stupide Amérique—and ven he get here he went and ave von ver stupid, von ver, ver stupide sonn, so I hear, dough I not yet av ad de plaisir to meet vid him—neither me nor my companion, de Madame Stéphanie Lalande. He is name de Napoleon Bonaparte Froissart, and I suppose you say dat dat, too, is not von ver respectable name.”

“Yes,” she replied, leaning back in her chair and stretching out her legs. “Yes, Moissart, Voissart, Croissart, and Froissart. But Monsieur Froissart, he's a big fool—he's a really big fool like you—because he left beautiful France to come to this stupid America. And when he got here, he went and had a really stupid, really, really stupid son, so I hear, though I haven't had the pleasure of meeting him yet—neither have I nor my companion, Madame Stéphanie Lalande. His name is Napoleon Bonaparte Froissart, and I guess you’d say that’s not a very respectable name either.”

Either the length or the nature of this speech, had the effect of working up Mrs. Simpson into a very extraordinary passion indeed; and as she made an end of it, with great labor, she jumped up from her chair like somebody bewitched, dropping upon the floor an entire universe of bustle as she jumped. Once upon her feet, she gnashed her gums, brandished her arms, rolled up her sleeves, shook her fist in my face, and concluded the performance by tearing the cap from her head, and with it an immense wig of the most valuable and beautiful black hair, the whole of which she dashed upon the ground with a yell, and there trammpled and danced a fandango upon it, in an absolute ecstasy and agony of rage.

Either the length or the nature of this speech really got Mrs. Simpson worked up into a frenzy; and as she finished, after much effort, she jumped up from her chair like someone possessed, dropping an entire whirlwind of chaos as she leaped. Once on her feet, she gnashed her teeth, waved her arms, rolled up her sleeves, shook her fist in my face, and ended the whole scene by ripping the cap off her head, taking with it an enormous wig of the most beautiful black hair, which she threw to the ground with a scream, and then stomped and danced a crazy jig on it, lost in a mix of ecstasy and fury.

Meantime I sank aghast into the chair which she had vacated. “Moissart and Voissart!” I repeated, thoughtfully, as she cut one of her pigeon-wings, and “Croissart and Froissart!” as she completed another—“Moissart and Voissart and Croissart and Napoleon Bonaparte Froissart!—why, you ineffable old serpent, that’s me—that’s me—d’ye hear? that’s me”—here I screamed at the top of my voice—“that’s me-e-e! I am Napoleon Bonaparte Froissart! and if I havn’t married my great, great, grandmother, I wish I may be everlastingly confounded!”

Meanwhile, I sank in shock into the chair she had just left. “Moissart and Voissart!” I repeated, thinking it over, as she performed one of her graceful moves, and “Croissart and Froissart!” as she finished another—“Moissart and Voissart and Croissart and Napoleon Bonaparte Froissart!—well, you impossible old snake, that’s me—that’s me—do you hear? that’s me”—here I shouted at the top of my lungs—“that’s me-e-e! I am Napoleon Bonaparte Froissart! and if I haven’t married my great-great-grandmother, I wish I may be forever cursed!”

Madame Eugénie Lalande, quasi Simpson—formerly Moissart—was, in sober fact, my great, great, grandmother. In her youth she had been beautiful, and even at eighty-two, retained the majestic height, the sculptural contour of head, the fine eyes and the Grecian nose of her girlhood. By the aid of these, of pearl-powder, of rouge, of false hair, false teeth, and false tournure, as well as of the most skilful modistes of Paris, she contrived to hold a respectable footing among the beauties en peu passées of the French metropolis. In this respect, indeed, she might have been regarded as little less than the equal of the celebrated Ninon De L’Enclos.

Madame Eugénie Lalande, also known as Simpson—previously Moissart—was, in reality, my great-great-grandmother. In her youth, she had been beautiful, and even at eighty-two, she still possessed the impressive height, sculptural features, sparkling eyes, and Grecian nose from her younger days. With the help of pearl powder, rouge, wigs, dentures, and the most skilled dressmakers in Paris, she managed to maintain a respectable position among the aging beauties of the French capital. In this regard, she could almost be considered on par with the famous Ninon De L’Enclos.

She was immensely wealthy, and being left, for the second time, a widow without children, she bethought herself of my existence in America, and for the purpose of making me her heir, paid a visit to the United States, in company with a distant and exceedingly lovely relative of her second husband’s—a Madame Stéphanie Lalande.

She was extremely wealthy, and after becoming a widow for the second time without any children, she thought about me in America. To make me her heir, she traveled to the United States with a distant and very beautiful relative of her second husband's—Madame Stéphanie Lalande.

At the opera, my great, great, grandmother’s attention was arrested by my notice; and, upon surveying me through her eye-glass, she was struck with a certain family resemblance to herself. Thus interested, and knowing that the heir she sought was actually in the city, she made inquiries of her party respecting me. The gentleman who attended her knew my person, and told her who I was. The information thus obtained induced her to renew her scrutiny; and this scrutiny it was which so emboldened me that I behaved in the absurd manner already detailed. She returned my bow, however, under the impression that, by some odd accident, I had discovered her identity. When, deceived by my weakness of vision, and the arts of the toilet, in respect to the age and charms of the strange lady, I demanded so enthusiastically of Talbot who she was, he concluded that I meant the younger beauty, as a matter of course, and so informed me, with perfect truth, that she was “the celebrated widow, Madame Lalande.”

At the opera, my great-great-grandmother noticed me and, after looking me over through her eye-glass, saw a family resemblance. Intrigued and knowing that the heir she was looking for was actually in the city, she asked her party about me. The gentleman accompanying her recognized me and informed her of my identity. This information led her to scrutinize me more closely, which made me bold enough to act in the silly way already described. She returned my bow, thinking that, by some strange coincidence, I had figured out who she was. When I, misled by my poor eyesight and the lady's makeup regarding her age and beauty, eagerly asked Talbot who she was, he assumed I meant the younger woman and honestly told me that she was “the famous widow, Madame Lalande.”

In the street, next morning, my great, great, grandmother encountered Talbot, an old Parisian acquaintance; and the conversation, very naturally turned upon myself. My deficiencies of vision were then explained; for these were notorious, although I was entirely ignorant of their notoriety, and my good old relative discovered, much to her chagrin, that she had been deceived in supposing me aware of her identity, and that I had been merely making a fool of myself in making open love, in a theatre, to an old woman unknown. By way of punishing me for this imprudence, she concocted with Talbot a plot. He purposely kept out of my way to avoid giving me the introduction. My street inquiries about “the lovely widow, Madame Lalande,” were supposed to refer to the younger lady, of course, and thus the conversation with the three gentlemen whom I encountered shortly after leaving Talbot’s hotel will be easily explained, as also their allusion to Ninon De L’Enclos. I had no opportunity of seeing Madame Lalande closely during daylight; and, at her musical soirée, my silly weakness in refusing the aid of glasses effectually prevented me from making a discovery of her age. When “Madame Lalande” was called upon to sing, the younger lady was intended; and it was she who arose to obey the call; my great, great, grandmother, to further the deception, arising at the same moment and accompanying her to the piano in the main drawing-room. Had I decided upon escorting her thither, it had been her design to suggest the propriety of my remaining where I was; but my own prudential views rendered this unnecessary. The songs which I so much admired, and which so confirmed my impression of the youth of my mistress, were executed by Madame Stéphanie Lalande. The eyeglass was presented by way of adding a reproof to the hoax—a sting to the epigram of the deception. Its presentation afforded an opportunity for the lecture upon affectation with which I was so especially edified. It is almost superfluous to add that the glasses of the instrument, as worn by the old lady, had been exchanged by her for a pair better adapted to my years. They suited me, in fact, to a T.

The next morning on the street, my great-great-grandmother ran into Talbot, an old friend from Paris, and the conversation naturally turned to me. My vision problems were explained, as they were well-known even though I had no clue about their fame, and my dear relative realized, much to her disappointment, that she had been mistaken in thinking I recognized her. Instead, I had merely embarrassed myself by openly flirting with an unknown old lady at the theater. To punish me for this blunder, she and Talbot came up with a plan. He intentionally kept his distance to avoid introducing us. My inquiries about “the lovely widow, Madame Lalande” were naturally assumed to be about the younger lady, which also clarified the conversation with the three gentlemen I met shortly after leaving Talbot's hotel, as well as their mention of Ninon De L’Enclos. I didn’t have the chance to see Madame Lalande up close during the day, and at her musical soirée, my silly refusal to wear glasses effectively prevented me from figuring out her age. When “Madame Lalande” was asked to sing, it was actually meant for the younger lady, and she stood up to respond; my great-great-grandmother, in an effort to maintain the ruse, got up at the same time and went with her to the piano in the main drawing room. If I had chosen to escort her, she planned to suggest that I stay where I was, but I didn’t think that was necessary. The songs I admired so much, which solidified my impression of my mistress's youth, were performed by Madame Stéphanie Lalande. The eyeglasses were presented as a way to add a critique to the trick—like a sting to the punchline of the deception. Presenting them gave way to a lecture about affectation that I found particularly enlightening. It’s almost unnecessary to mention that the glasses the old lady wore had been swapped out for a pair better suited to my age. In fact, they fit me perfectly.

The clergyman, who merely pretended to tie the fatal knot, was a boon companion of Talbot’s, and no priest. He was an excellent “whip,” however; and having doffed his cassock to put on a great-coat, he drove the hack which conveyed the “happy couple” out of town. Talbot took a seat at his side. The two scoundrels were thus “in at the death,” and through a half-open window of the back parlor of the inn, amused themselves in grinning at the dénouement of the drama. I believe I shall be forced to call them both out.

The clergyman, who just pretended to tie the fateful knot, was a good friend of Talbot’s and not an actual priest. He was an excellent “whip,” though; and after putting on a coat instead of his cassock, he drove the cab that took the “happy couple” out of town. Talbot sat next to him. The two scoundrels were therefore “in at the death,” and through a half-open window of the back parlor of the inn, they entertained themselves by grinning at the outcome of the drama. I think I’ll have to challenge them both.

Nevertheless, I am not the husband of my great, great, grandmother; and this is a reflection which affords me infinite relief;—but I am the husband of Madame Lalande—of Madame Stéphanie Lalande—with whom my good old relative, besides making me her sole heir when she dies—if she ever does—has been at the trouble of concocting me a match. In conclusion: I am done forever with billets doux, and am never to be met without SPECTACLES.

Nevertheless, I am not the husband of my great-great-grandmother; and this thought brings me immense relief;—but I am the husband of Madame Lalande—of Madame Stéphanie Lalande—who, in addition to making me her sole heir when she passes away—if she ever does—has gone through the effort of setting me up with a partner. In conclusion: I’m done for good with billets doux, and I’m never going to be seen without SPECTACLES.

KING PEST

A Tale Containing an Allegory.

The gods do bear and will allow in kings
The things which they abhor in rascal routes.
                    —Buckhurst’s Tragedy of Ferrex and Porrex.

The gods tolerate and will permit in kings
The things they hate in lowly thieves.
                    —Buckhurst’s Tragedy of Ferrex and Porrex.

About twelve o’clock, one night in the month of October, and during the chivalrous reign of the third Edward, two seamen belonging to the crew of the >Free and Easy, a trading schooner plying between Sluys and the Thames, and then at anchor in that river, were much astonished to find themselves seated in the tap-room of an ale-house in the parish of St. Andrews, London—which ale-house bore for sign the portraiture of a “Jolly Tar.”

Around midnight one October night during the noble reign of King Edward III, two sailors from the crew of the >Free and Easy, a trading schooner sailing between Sluys and the Thames, and currently anchored in that river, were quite surprised to find themselves sitting in the pub of an ale-house in the St. Andrews parish of London—which was marked by a sign featuring a picture of a “Jolly Tar.”

The room, although ill-contrived, smoke-blackened, low-pitched, and in every other respect agreeing with the general character of such places at the period—was, nevertheless, in the opinion of the grotesque groups scattered here and there within it, sufficiently well adapted to its purpose.

The room, though poorly designed, filled with smoke, low-ceilinged, and similar to the typical spaces of that time—was still considered by the odd groups scattered around it to be pretty suitable for its intended use.

Of these groups our two seamen formed, I think, the most interesting, if not the most conspicuous.

Of these groups, I think our two sailors were the most interesting, if not the most noticeable.

The one who appeared to be the elder, and whom his companion addressed by the characteristic appellation of “Legs,” was at the same time much the taller of the two. He might have measured six feet and a half, and an habitual stoop in the shoulders seemed to have been the necessary consequence of an altitude so enormous. Superfluities in height were, however, more than accounted for by deficiencies in other respects. He was exceedingly thin; and might, as his associates asserted, have answered, when drunk, for a pennant at the mast-head, or, when sober, have served for a jib-boom. But these jests, and others of a similar nature, had evidently produced, at no time, any effect upon the cachinnatory muscles of the tar. With high cheek-bones, a large hawk-nose, retreating chin, fallen under-jaw, and huge protruding white eyes, the expression of his countenance, although tinged with a species of dogged indifference to matters and things in general, was not the less utterly solemn and serious beyond all attempts at imitation or description.

The one who looked like the older of the two, and whom his friend called “Legs,” was also much taller. He might have been six and a half feet tall, and his habitual slouch in the shoulders seemed to be the natural result of such great height. However, his extra height was more than offset by other shortcomings. He was extremely thin; his friends joked that he could serve as a flag at the top of a mast when drunk, or as a spar when sober. But these jokes, and others like them, clearly never affected the laughter of the sailor. With high cheekbones, a large hooked nose, a receding chin, a slack jaw, and huge bulging white eyes, the look on his face, though showing a kind of stubborn indifference to everything around him, was still utterly serious and solemn beyond any imitation or description.

The younger seaman was, in all outward appearance, the converse of his companion. His stature could not have exceeded four feet. A pair of stumpy bow-legs supported his squat, unwieldy figure, while his unusually short and thick arms, with no ordinary fists at their extremities, swung off dangling from his sides like the fins of a sea-turtle. Small eyes, of no particular color, twinkled far back in his head. His nose remained buried in the mass of flesh which enveloped his round, full, and purple face; and his thick upper-lip rested upon the still thicker one beneath with an air of complacent self-satisfaction, much heightened by the owner’s habit of licking them at intervals. He evidently regarded his tall shipmate with a feeling half-wondrous, half-quizzical; and stared up occasionally in his face as the red setting sun stares up at the crags of Ben Nevis.

The younger sailor looked completely different from his companion. He was no more than four feet tall. His short, bow-legged stance held up his clumsy, stocky body, while his unusually short and thick arms, ending in large, unusual hands, hung from his sides like a sea turtle's fins. His small eyes, lacking any distinct color, sparkled deep in his head. His nose was hidden in the fleshy mass surrounding his round, full, and purplish face; his thick upper lip rested over an even thicker lower lip, giving him a look of smug self-satisfaction, which he often enhanced by licking his lips. He clearly viewed his tall shipmate with a mix of wonder and curiosity, occasionally glancing up at him like the red setting sun peering at the cliffs of Ben Nevis.

Various and eventful, however, had been the peregrinations of the worthy couple in and about the different tap-houses of the neighbourhood during the earlier hours of the night. Funds even the most ample, are not always everlasting: and it was with empty pockets our friends had ventured upon the present hostelrie.

Various and eventful, however, had been the travels of the worthy couple in and around the different pubs in the neighborhood during the early hours of the night. Even the most ample funds don't last forever: and it was with empty pockets that our friends had ventured into the current inn.

At the precise period, then, when this history properly commences, Legs, and his fellow Hugh Tarpaulin, sat, each with both elbows resting upon the large oaken table in the middle of the floor, and with a hand upon either cheek. They were eyeing, from behind a huge flagon of unpaid-for “humming-stuff,” the portentous words, “No Chalk,” which to their indignation and astonishment were scored over the doorway by means of that very mineral whose presence they purported to deny. Not that the gift of decyphering written characters—a gift among the commonalty of that day considered little less cabalistical than the art of inditing—could, in strict justice, have been laid to the charge of either disciple of the sea; but there was, to say the truth, a certain twist in the formation of the letters—an indescribable lee-lurch about the whole—which foreboded, in the opinion of both seamen, a long run of dirty weather; and determined them at once, in the allegorical words of Legs himself, to “pump ship, clew up all sail, and scud before the wind.”

At that exact moment when this story really begins, Legs and his buddy Hugh Tarpaulin were sitting with their elbows resting on a big oak table in the middle of the room, each with a hand on their cheek. They were staring, from behind a giant jug of unpaid-for "humming stuff," at the ominous words "No Chalk," which, to their anger and surprise, were scrawled over the doorway using that very substance they claimed didn’t exist. Not that either sailor could be blamed for deciphering the written words—a skill that was viewed as almost magical among the ordinary folks of that time—but honestly, there was a certain awkwardness in how the letters were formed—an indescribable wobble about the whole thing—which both sailors believed signified a rough patch of bad weather ahead; and it immediately motivated them, in the symbolic words of Legs himself, to “pump ship, clew up all sail, and scud before the wind.”

Having accordingly disposed of what remained of the ale, and looped up the points of their short doublets, they finally made a bolt for the street. Although Tarpaulin rolled twice into the fire-place, mistaking it for the door, yet their escape was at length happily effected—and half after twelve o’clock found our heroes ripe for mischief, and running for life down a dark alley in the direction of St. Andrew’s Stair, hotly pursued by the landlady of the “Jolly Tar.”

Having finished off the last of the ale and tucked in the points of their short jackets, they eventually dashed out into the street. Even though Tarpaulin stumbled into the fireplace twice, thinking it was the door, they eventually made their escape successfully. By half past twelve, our heroes were ready for some trouble, sprinting for their lives down a dark alley towards St. Andrew’s Stair, closely chased by the landlady of the “Jolly Tar.”

At the epoch of this eventful tale, and periodically, for many years before and after, all England, but more especially the metropolis, resounded with the fearful cry of “Plague!” The city was in a great measure depopulated—and in those horrible regions, in the vicinity of the Thames, where amid the dark, narrow, and filthy lanes and alleys, the Demon of Disease was supposed to have had his nativity, Awe, Terror, and Superstition were alone to be found stalking abroad.

At the time of this eventful story, and for many years before and after, all of England, especially the capital, echoed with the terrifying cry of “Plague!” The city was largely depopulated—and in those dreadful areas near the Thames, where the Demon of Disease was thought to have originated, only Fear, Terror, and Superstition could be seen wandering around.

By authority of the king such districts were placed under ban, and all persons forbidden, under pain of death, to intrude upon their dismal solitude. Yet neither the mandate of the monarch, nor the huge barriers erected at the entrances of the streets, nor the prospect of that loathsome death which, with almost absolute certainty, overwhelmed the wretch whom no peril could deter from the adventure, prevented the unfurnished and untenanted dwellings from being stripped, by the hand of nightly rapine, of every article, such as iron, brass, or lead-work, which could in any manner be turned to a profitable account.

By the king's authority, those areas were banned, and everyone was forbidden, under the threat of death, from disturbing their lonely desolation. Yet, neither the king's orders, nor the massive barriers put up at the entrances to the streets, nor the horrifying death that would almost certainly befall anyone brave enough to take the risk, stopped people from breaking into the empty and neglected homes to steal everything of value, like iron, brass, or lead, that could be sold for profit.

Above all, it was usually found, upon the annual winter opening of the barriers, that locks, bolts, and secret cellars, had proved but slender protection to those rich stores of wines and liquors which, in consideration of the risk and trouble of removal, many of the numerous dealers having shops in the neighbourhood had consented to trust, during the period of exile, to so insufficient a security.

Above all, it was usually discovered during the yearly winter reopening of the barriers that locks, bolts, and hidden cellars provided only minimal protection for the valuable supplies of wines and liquors. Due to the risk and hassle of moving them, many of the local shopkeepers chose to rely on such inadequate security during their time away.

But there were very few of the terror-stricken people who attributed these doings to the agency of human hands. Pest-spirits, plague-goblins, and fever-demons, were the popular imps of mischief; and tales so blood-chilling were hourly told, that the whole mass of forbidden buildings was, at length, enveloped in terror as in a shroud, and the plunderer himself was often scared away by the horrors his own depreciations had created; leaving the entire vast circuit of prohibited district to gloom, silence, pestilence, and death.

But there were very few of the terrified people who blamed these events on human actions. Pest spirits, plague goblins, and fever demons were the popular sources of mischief; and blood-chilling stories were told constantly, until the entire area of forbidden buildings was wrapped in fear like a shroud. Even the thieves were often scared away by the horrors their own actions had created, leaving the vast area of the prohibited district in gloom, silence, sickness, and death.

It was by one of the terrific barriers already mentioned, and which indicated the region beyond to be under the Pest-ban, that, in scrambling down an alley, Legs and the worthy Hugh Tarpaulin found their progress suddenly impeded. To return was out of the question, and no time was to be lost, as their pursuers were close upon their heels. With thorough-bred seamen to clamber up the roughly fashioned plank-work was a trifle; and, maddened with the twofold excitement of exercise and liquor, they leaped unhesitatingly down within the enclosure, and holding on their drunken course with shouts and yellings, were soon bewildered in its noisome and intricate recesses.

It was by one of the massive barriers mentioned earlier, which marked the area beyond as being under the Pest-ban, that Legs and the noble Hugh Tarpaulin found themselves suddenly blocked while scrambling down an alley. Turning back was not an option, and they had no time to waste since their pursuers were right behind them. For seasoned sailors, climbing up the rough wooden planks was easy; and driven by the excitement of exercise and alcohol, they jumped confidently into the enclosure, continuing their rambunctious path with shouts and yells, soon getting lost in its foul and complicated nooks.

Had they not, indeed, been intoxicated beyond moral sense, their reeling footsteps must have been palsied by the horrors of their situation. The air was cold and misty. The paving-stones, loosened from their beds, lay in wild disorder amid the tall, rank grass, which sprang up around the feet and ankles. Fallen houses choked up the streets. The most fetid and poisonous smells everywhere prevailed;—and by the aid of that ghastly light which, even at midnight, never fails to emanate from a vapory and pestilential atmosphere, might be discerned lying in the by-paths and alleys, or rotting in the windowless habitations, the carcass of many a nocturnal plunderer arrested by the hand of the plague in the very perpetration of his robbery.

If they hadn't been completely drunk, their unsteady steps would have been crippled by the terror of their situation. The air was cold and foggy. The cobblestones, dislodged from their places, were scattered chaotically among the tall, thick grass that grew around their feet and ankles. Collapsed buildings cluttered the streets. A sickening stench filled the air everywhere; and with the help of that creepy light that, even at midnight, always seems to come from a foggy and toxic atmosphere, you could see the bodies of many night-time thieves lying in the side streets and alleys, or decaying in the windowless homes, struck down by the plague while in the act of their crimes.

But it lay not in the power of images, or sensations, or impediments such as these, to stay the course of men who, naturally brave, and at that time especially, brimful of courage and of “humming-stuff,” would have reeled, as straight as their condition might have permitted, undauntedly into the very jaws of Death. Onward—still onward stalked the grim Legs, making the desolate solemnity echo and re-echo with yells like the terrific war-whoop of the Indian; and onward, still onward rolled the dumpy Tarpaulin, hanging on to the doublet of his more active companion, and far surpassing the latter’s most strenuous exertions in the way of vocal music, by bull-roarings in basso, from the profundity of his stentorian lungs.

But it wasn't in the power of images, sensations, or obstacles like these to stop the course of men who, naturally brave and especially at that moment, were filled with courage and excitement. They would have charged straight, as best as their condition allowed, fearlessly into the very jaws of Death. Onward—still onward marched the grim Legs, making the desolate silence echo with yells like the terrifying war cry of the Indians; and onward, still onward, rolled the chubby Tarpaulin, clinging to the doublet of his more agile friend, far outdoing his companion’s most vigorous efforts in vocal music with booming roars from the depths of his powerful lungs.

They had now evidently reached the strong hold of the pestilence. Their way at every step or plunge grew more noisome and more horrible—the paths more narrow and more intricate. Huge stones and beams falling momently from the decaying roofs above them, gave evidence, by their sullen and heavy descent, of the vast height of the surrounding houses; and while actual exertion became necessary to force a passage through frequent heaps of rubbish, it was by no means seldom that the hand fell upon a skeleton or rested upon a more fleshly corpse.

They had clearly arrived at the heart of the plague. With each step or plunge, the surroundings became increasingly foul and horrific—the paths narrower and more complicated. Large stones and beams fell constantly from the crumbling roofs above them, showing the great height of the surrounding buildings. As they had to push through piles of debris, it wasn’t uncommon for their hand to touch a skeleton or to rest on a more decayed body.

Suddenly, as the seamen stumbled against the entrance of a tall and ghastly-looking building, a yell more than usually shrill from the throat of the excited Legs, was replied to from within, in a rapid succession of wild, laughter-like, and fiendish shrieks. Nothing daunted at sounds which, of such a nature, at such a time, and in such a place, might have curdled the very blood in hearts less irrevocably on fire, the drunken couple rushed headlong against the door, burst it open, and staggered into the midst of things with a volley of curses.

Suddenly, as the sailors stumbled against the entrance of a tall, eerie building, a yell from the excited Legs pierced the air, answered from inside with a rapid series of wild, laughter-like, and sinister shrieks. Unfazed by sounds that, in such a setting, at such a time, could have chilled the blood of anyone less consumed by passion, the drunken couple charged headfirst at the door, kicked it open, and staggered into the scene with a barrage of curses.

The room within which they found themselves proved to be the shop of an undertaker; but an open trap-door, in a corner of the floor near the entrance, looked down upon a long range of wine-cellars, whose depths the occasional sound of bursting bottles proclaimed to be well stored with their appropriate contents. In the middle of the room stood a table—in the centre of which again arose a huge tub of what appeared to be punch. Bottles of various wines and cordials, together with jugs, pitchers, and flagons of every shape and quality, were scattered profusely upon the board. Around it, upon coffin-tressels, was seated a company of six. This company I will endeavor to delineate one by one.

The room they found themselves in turned out to be an undertaker's shop; however, an open trapdoor in a corner of the floor near the entrance revealed a long row of wine cellars. The occasional sound of breaking bottles indicated that they were well stocked with their respective contents. In the middle of the room was a table, at the center of which stood a large tub that seemed to be filled with punch. Bottles of different wines and liqueurs, along with jugs, pitchers, and flagons of all shapes and sizes, were scattered abundantly on the table. Surrounding it, on coffin tressels, sat a group of six people. I will attempt to describe this group one by one.

Fronting the entrance, and elevated a little above his companions, sat a personage who appeared to be the president of the table. His stature was gaunt and tall, and Legs was confounded to behold in him a figure more emaciated than himself. His face was as yellow as saffron—but no feature excepting one alone, was sufficiently marked to merit a particular description. This one consisted in a forehead so unusually and hideously lofty, as to have the appearance of a bonnet or crown of flesh superadded upon the natural head. His mouth was puckered and dimpled into an expression of ghastly affability, and his eyes, as indeed the eyes of all at table, were glazed over with the fumes of intoxication. This gentleman was clothed from head to foot in a richly-embroidered black silk-velvet pall, wrapped negligently around his form after the fashion of a Spanish cloak. His head was stuck full of sable hearse-plumes, which he nodded to and fro with a jaunty and knowing air; and, in his right hand, he held a huge human thigh-bone, with which he appeared to have been just knocking down some member of the company for a song.

At the entrance, elevated slightly above his companions, sat a person who looked like the president of the table. He was tall and lanky, and Legs was stunned to see that he was even more emaciated than himself. His face was as yellow as saffron, but apart from one feature, nothing else stood out enough to describe specifically. That one feature was an unusually high and hideous forehead, which looked like a flesh-colored bonnet or crown sitting on his head. His mouth was puckered and dimpled into a creepy smile, and his eyes, like those of everyone else at the table, were glazed over from drinking too much. This man was dressed in a richly embroidered black silk-velvet cloak, draped carelessly around him like a Spanish cape. His head was adorned with black funeral plumes, which he nodded back and forth with a playful and knowing attitude; in his right hand, he held a large human thigh bone, which he seemed to have just used to strike another member of the group for a song.

Opposite him, and with her back to the door, was a lady of no whit the less extraordinary character. Although quite as tall as the person just described, she had no right to complain of his unnatural emaciation. She was evidently in the last stage of a dropsy; and her figure resembled nearly that of the huge puncheon of October beer which stood, with the head driven in, close by her side, in a corner of the chamber. Her face was exceedingly round, red, and full; and the same peculiarity, or rather want of peculiarity, attached itself to her countenance, which I before mentioned in the case of the president—that is to say, only one feature of her face was sufficiently distinguished to need a separate characterization: indeed the acute Tarpaulin immediately observed that the same remark might have applied to each individual person of the party; every one of whom seemed to possess a monopoly of some particular portion of physiognomy. With the lady in question this portion proved to be the mouth. Commencing at the right ear, it swept with a terrific chasm to the left—the short pendants which she wore in either auricle continually bobbing into the aperture. She made, however, every exertion to keep her mouth closed and look dignified, in a dress consisting of a newly starched and ironed shroud coming up close under her chin, with a crimpled ruffle of cambric muslin.

Opposite him, and with her back to the door, was a woman who was just as remarkable. Although she was just as tall as the person just described, she had no reason to complain about his unnatural thinness. She was clearly in the advanced stage of dropsy, and her figure resembled that of the large beer barrel that stood, head driven in, right next to her in the corner of the room. Her face was very round, red, and full; and just like I mentioned before about the president, there was a similar lack of distinctiveness in her features—that is to say, only one part of her face stood out enough to warrant a separate description: in fact, the sharp-eyed Tarpaulin quickly pointed out that the same could be said for each person in the group; everyone seemed to have a specific part of their face that dominated. For this woman, that part was her mouth. Starting at her right ear, it opened up wide to the left—the short earrings she wore in both ears constantly bobbing into the gap. However, she made every effort to keep her mouth closed and appear dignified in a dress that looked like a freshly starched and ironed shroud, coming right up under her chin, with a frilly ruffle of cambric muslin.

At her right hand sat a diminutive young lady whom she appeared to patronise. This delicate little creature, in the trembling of her wasted fingers, in the livid hue of her lips, and in the slight hectic spot which tinged her otherwise leaden complexion, gave evident indications of a galloping consumption. An air of extreme haut ton, however, pervaded her whole appearance; she wore in a graceful and dégagé manner, a large and beautiful winding-sheet of the finest India lawn; her hair hung in ringlets over her neck; a soft smile played about her mouth; but her nose, extremely long, thin, sinuous, flexible and pimpled, hung down far below her under lip, and in spite of the delicate manner in which she now and then moved it to one side or the other with her tongue, gave to her countenance a somewhat equivocal expression.

At her right side sat a petite young woman whom she seemed to look down on. This fragile little being, with her trembling, bony fingers, the pale color of her lips, and the faint flush on her otherwise dull complexion, clearly showed signs of advanced tuberculosis. However, she exuded an air of extreme sophistication; she wore a large and beautiful gown made of the finest Indian cotton in a graceful and relaxed way; her hair fell in curls over her neck; a gentle smile played on her lips; but her nose, very long, thin, flexible, and pimpled, hung down far below her lower lip, and despite the delicate way she occasionally moved it to the side with her tongue, gave her face a somewhat ambiguous expression.

Over against her, and upon the left of the dropsical lady, was seated a little puffy, wheezing, and gouty old man, whose cheeks reposed upon the shoulders of their owner, like two huge bladders of Oporto wine. With his arms folded, and with one bandaged leg deposited upon the table, he seemed to think himself entitled to some consideration. He evidently prided himself much upon every inch of his personal appearance, but took more especial delight in calling attention to his gaudy-colored surtout. This, to say the truth, must have cost him no little money, and was made to fit him exceedingly well—being fashioned from one of the curiously embroidered silken covers appertaining to those glorious escutcheons which, in England and elsewhere, are customarily hung up, in some conspicuous place, upon the dwellings of departed aristocracy.

Opposite her, to the left of the woman with dropsy, sat a small, puffy, wheezing, and gouty old man, whose cheeks rested on his shoulders like two large bladders of port wine. With his arms crossed and one bandaged leg propped up on the table, he seemed to think he deserved some recognition. He clearly took pride in every aspect of his appearance, but particularly enjoyed showing off his brightly colored overcoat. To be honest, it must have cost him quite a bit and fit him exceptionally well—fashioned from one of the intricately embroidered silk covers that adorned the grand coats of arms typically displayed at the homes of deceased aristocrats in England and elsewhere.

Next to him, and at the right hand of the president, was a gentleman in long white hose and cotton drawers. His frame shook, in a ridiculous manner, with a fit of what Tarpaulin called “the horrors.” His jaws, which had been newly shaved, were tightly tied up by a bandage of muslin; and his arms being fastened in a similar way at the wrists, prevented him from helping himself too freely to the liquors upon the table; a precaution rendered necessary, in the opinion of Legs, by the peculiarly sottish and wine-bibbing cast of his visage. A pair of prodigious ears, nevertheless, which it was no doubt found impossible to confine, towered away into the atmosphere of the apartment, and were occasionally pricked up in a spasm, at the sound of the drawing of a cork.

Next to him, and on the right side of the president, was a guy in long white socks and cotton shorts. His body shook in a silly way from what Tarpaulin called “the horrors.” His freshly shaved jaws were tightly wrapped in a muslin bandage, and his arms were similarly tied at the wrists, stopping him from helping himself too much to the drinks on the table; a precaution that Legs thought was necessary because of the guy's particularly drunk and heavy-drinking look. However, a pair of huge ears, which they clearly couldn’t contain, stood up into the air of the room and occasionally perked up at the sound of a cork popping.

Fronting him, sixthly and lastly, was situated a singularly stiff-looking personage, who, being afflicted with paralysis, must, to speak seriously, have felt very ill at ease in his unaccommodating habiliments. He was habited, somewhat uniquely, in a new and handsome mahogany coffin. Its top or head-piece pressed upon the skull of the wearer, and extended over it in the fashion of a hood, giving to the entire face an air of indescribable interest. Arm-holes had been cut in the sides, for the sake not more of elegance than of convenience; but the dress, nevertheless, prevented its proprietor from sitting as erect as his associates; and as he lay reclining against his tressel, at an angle of forty-five degrees, a pair of huge goggle eyes rolled up their awful whites towards the ceiling in absolute amazement at their own enormity.

Facing him, sixthly and lastly, was a particularly stiff-looking individual who, due to his paralysis, must have felt quite uncomfortable in his awkward outfit. He was dressed, quite uniquely, in a new and stylish mahogany coffin. The top piece pressed against his head and extended over it like a hood, giving his entire face an indescribable intrigue. Arm-holes had been cut into the sides, not just for style but for practicality; however, the outfit still made it difficult for him to sit up straight like the others. As he lay back against his support at a forty-five-degree angle, a pair of enormous goggle eyes rolled up their unsettling whites towards the ceiling in sheer disbelief at their own size.

Before each of the party lay a portion of a skull, which was used as a drinking cup. Overhead was suspended a human skeleton, by means of a rope tied round one of the legs and fastened to a ring in the ceiling. The other limb, confined by no such fetter, stuck off from the body at right angles, causing the whole loose and rattling frame to dangle and twirl about at the caprice of every occasional puff of wind which found its way into the apartment. In the cranium of this hideous thing lay quantity of ignited charcoal, which threw a fitful but vivid light over the entire scene; while coffins, and other wares appertaining to the shop of an undertaker, were piled high up around the room, and against the windows, preventing any ray from escaping into the street.

Before each of the party was a part of a skull that was used as a drinking cup. Above them hung a human skeleton, suspended by a rope tied around one of the legs and attached to a ring in the ceiling. The other leg, not restrained, stuck out at a right angle from the body, causing the whole loose and rattling frame to sway and twist with every gust of wind that found its way into the room. In the skull of this grotesque figure rested a pile of burning charcoal, casting a flickering but bright light over the entire scene; while coffins and other items related to an undertaker’s shop were stacked high around the room and against the windows, blocking any light from escaping into the street.

At sight of this extraordinary assembly, and of their still more extraordinary paraphernalia, our two seamen did not conduct themselves with that degree of decorum which might have been expected. Legs, leaning against the wall near which he happened to be standing, dropped his lower jaw still lower than usual, and spread open his eyes to their fullest extent: while Hugh Tarpaulin, stooping down so as to bring his nose upon a level with the table, and spreading out a palm upon either knee, burst into a long, loud, and obstreperous roar of very ill-timed and immoderate laughter.

At the sight of this unusual gathering and their even more unusual gear, our two sailors didn't behave as you might expect. Legs, leaning against the wall where he stood, let his jaw drop even lower than usual and opened his eyes wide. Meanwhile, Hugh Tarpaulin bent down to get his nose level with the table, placing a palm on each knee, and erupted into a long, loud, and disruptive fit of laughter that was completely out of place.

Without, however, taking offence at behaviour so excessively rude, the tall president smiled very graciously upon the intruders—nodded to them in a dignified manner with his head of sable plumes—and, arising, took each by an arm, and led him to a seat which some others of the company had placed in the meantime for his accommodation. Legs to all this offered not the slightest resistance, but sat down as he was directed; while the gallant Hugh, removing his coffin tressel from its station near the head of the table, to the vicinity of the little consumptive lady in the winding sheet, plumped down by her side in high glee, and pouring out a skull of red wine, quaffed it to their better acquaintance. But at this presumption the stiff gentleman in the coffin seemed exceedingly nettled; and serious consequences might have ensued, had not the president, rapping upon the table with his truncheon, diverted the attention of all present to the following speech:

Without taking offense at such rude behavior, the tall president smiled graciously at the intruders—nodding to them dignifiedly with his head adorned in sable plumes—and, getting up, took each by the arm and led them to a seat that some others in the group had prepared for him. Legs offered no resistance at all and sat down as directed; meanwhile, the bold Hugh, moving his coffin trestle from its spot near the head of the table to sit by the little sickly lady in the shroud, plopped down next to her in high spirits, pouring out a skull of red wine, and drank it to celebrate their new acquaintance. However, this boldness seemed to greatly irritate the stiff gentleman in the coffin, and serious consequences might have followed if the president hadn't tapped the table with his truncheon to redirect everyone's attention to the following speech:

“It becomes our duty upon the present happy occasion—”

“It becomes our responsibility on this joyous occasion—”

“Avast there!” interrupted Legs, looking very serious, “avast there a bit, I say, and tell us who the devil ye all are, and what business ye have here, rigged off like the foul fiends, and swilling the snug blue ruin stowed away for the winter by my honest shipmate, Will Wimble, the undertaker!”

“Stop right there!” interrupted Legs, looking quite serious. “Hold on for a second, and tell us who the hell you all are and what you're doing here, dressed up like demons, and drinking the nice stash of whiskey my good friend, Will Wimble, the undertaker, has saved up for the winter!”

At this unpardonable piece of ill-breeding, all the original company half started to their feet, and uttered the same rapid succession of wild fiendish shrieks which had before caught the attention of the seamen. The president, however, was the first to recover his composure, and at length, turning to Legs with great dignity, recommenced:

At this outrageous display of bad manners, the entire original group jumped to their feet and let out the same quick series of crazy, terrifying screams that had previously grabbed the sailors' attention. However, the president was the first to regain his composure and, finally, turning to Legs with great dignity, started again:

“Most willingly will we gratify any reasonable curiosity on the part of guests so illustrious, unbidden though they be. Know then that in these dominions I am monarch, and here rule with undivided empire under the title of ‘King Pest the First.’

“Most gladly will we satisfy any reasonable curiosity from such distinguished guests, even if they come uninvited. Know that in this realm, I am the ruler, reigning with complete authority under the title ‘King Pest the First.’”

“This apartment, which you no doubt profanely suppose to be the shop of Will Wimble the undertaker—a man whom we know not, and whose plebeian appellation has never before this night thwarted our royal ears—this apartment, I say, is the Dais-Chamber of our Palace, devoted to the councils of our kingdom, and to other sacred and lofty purposes.

“This apartment, which you probably think is the place of Will Wimble the undertaker—a guy we don’t know and whose ordinary name has never before now bothered our royal ears—this apartment, I say, is the Dais-Chamber of our Palace, dedicated to the councils of our kingdom and to other sacred and lofty purposes.”

“The noble lady who sits opposite is Queen Pest, our Serene Consort. The other exalted personages whom you behold are all of our family, and wear the insignia of the blood royal under the respective titles of ‘His Grace the Arch Duke Pest-Iferous’—‘His Grace the Duke Pest-Ilential’—‘His Grace the Duke Tem-Pest’—and ‘Her Serene Highness the Arch Duchess Ana-Pest.’

“The noble lady sitting across from us is Queen Pest, our Serene Consort. The other esteemed individuals you see are all our family, and they bear the titles of ‘His Grace the Arch Duke Pest-Iferous’—‘His Grace the Duke Pest-Ilential’—‘His Grace the Duke Tem-Pest’—and ‘Her Serene Highness the Arch Duchess Ana-Pest.’”

“As regards,” continued he, “your demand of the business upon which we sit here in council, we might be pardoned for replying that it concerns, and concerns alone, our own private and regal interest, and is in no manner important to any other than ourself. But in consideration of those rights to which as guests and strangers you may feel yourselves entitled, we will furthermore explain that we are here this night, prepared by deep research and accurate investigation, to examine, analyze, and thoroughly determine the indefinable spirit—the incomprehensible qualities and nature—of those inestimable treasures of the palate, the wines, ales, and liqueurs of this goodly metropolis: by so doing to advance not more our own designs than the true welfare of that unearthly sovereign whose reign is over us all, whose dominions are unlimited, and whose name is ‘Death’.”

"As for your request regarding the matter we're discussing here in this meeting," he continued, "we could be excused for saying it only involves our own private and royal interests and doesn't really matter to anyone else but us. However, considering the rights you may feel entitled to as guests and strangers, we’ll also explain that we are here tonight, having done extensive research and careful investigation, to examine, analyze, and fully determine the elusive spirit—the incomprehensible qualities and nature—of those priceless treasures for the palate, the wines, beers, and liqueurs of this great city: in doing so, we aim to further not just our own purposes but also the true welfare of that otherworldly ruler who presides over us all, whose realm knows no bounds, and whose name is ‘Death’."

“Whose name is Davy Jones!” ejaculated Tarpaulin, helping the lady by his side to a skull of liqueur, and pouring out a second for himself.

“Whose name is Davy Jones!” shouted Tarpaulin, pouring the lady next to him a glass of liqueur and pouring a second one for himself.

“Profane varlet!” said the president, now turning his attention to the worthy Hugh, “profane and execrable wretch!—we have said, that in consideration of those rights which, even in thy filthy person, we feel no inclination to violate, we have condescended to make reply to thy rude and unseasonable inquiries. We nevertheless, for your unhallowed intrusion upon our councils, believe it our duty to mulct thee and thy companion in each a gallon of Black Strap—having imbibed which to the prosperity of our kingdom—at a single draught—and upon your bended knees—ye shall be forthwith free either to proceed upon your way, or remain and be admitted to the privileges of our table, according to your respective and individual pleasures.”

“Profane fool!” said the president, now focusing on the worthy Hugh, “profane and despicable wretch!—we have stated that, considering the rights which, even in your filthy self, we have no desire to violate, we have chosen to respond to your rude and untimely questions. However, for your disrespectful intrusion into our councils, we feel it is our duty to penalize you and your companion with a gallon of Black Strap—once you have drunk it to the prosperity of our kingdom—at a single gulp—and on your knees—you shall then be free either to continue on your way or stay and enjoy the privileges of our table, depending on your individual desires.”

“It would be a matter of utter impossibility,” replied Legs, whom the assumptions and dignity of King Pest the First had evidently inspired some feelings of respect, and who arose and steadied himself by the table as he spoke—“it would, please your majesty, be a matter of utter impossibility to stow away in my hold even one-fourth part of the same liquor which your majesty has just mentioned. To say nothing of the stuffs placed on board in the forenoon by way of ballast, and not to mention the various ales and liqueurs shipped this evening at different sea-ports, I have, at present, a full cargo of ‘humming-stuff’ taken in and duly paid for at the sign of the ‘Jolly Tar.’ You will, therefore, please your majesty, be so good as to take the will for the deed—for by no manner of means either can I or will I swallow another drop—least of all a drop of that villainous bilge-water that answers to the name of ‘Black Strap.’”

“It would be completely impossible,” replied Legs, who was clearly feeling some respect due to King Pest the First’s assumptions and dignity. He stood up and steadied himself by the table as he spoke. “It would, your majesty, be completely impossible for me to store even a quarter of the liquor you just mentioned. Not to mention the supplies I loaded on board this morning as ballast, and the various ales and liqueurs I took on tonight at different ports, I currently have a full cargo of ‘humming-stuff’ that I picked up and paid for at the ‘Jolly Tar.’ So, your majesty, please just understand my intention, because there’s no way I can or will drink another drop—especially not a drop of that terrible stuff they call ‘Black Strap.’”

“Belay that!” interrupted Tarpaulin, astonished not more at the length of his companion’s speech than at the nature of his refusal—“Belay that you lubber!—and I say, Legs, none of your palaver! My hull is still light, although I confess you yourself seem to be a little top-heavy; and as for the matter of your share of the cargo, why rather than raise a squall I would find stowage-room for it myself, but—”

“Hold on!” interrupted Tarpaulin, shocked not just by how long his companion talked but also by the way he refused—“Hold on, you clumsy fool!—and I say, Legs, quit the chatter! My ship is still light, even though I admit you seem to be a bit unsteady; and regarding your cut of the cargo, I'd rather figure out a place for it myself than start an argument, but—”

“This proceeding,” interposed the president, “is by no means in accordance with the terms of the mulct or sentence, which is in its nature Median, and not to be altered or recalled. The conditions we have imposed must be fulfilled to the letter, and that without a moment’s hesitation—in failure of which fulfilment we decree that you do here be tied neck and heels together, and duly drowned as rebels in yon hogshead of October beer!”

“This process,” interrupted the president, “does not align with the terms of the fine or punishment, which is inherently Median and cannot be changed or revoked. The conditions we’ve set must be met precisely, without any hesitation—failure to do so will result in you being tied up and drowned as rebels in that barrel of October beer!”

“A sentence!—a sentence!—a righteous and just sentence!—a glorious decree!—a most worthy and upright, and holy condemnation!” shouted the Pest family altogether. The king elevated his forehead into innumerable wrinkles; the gouty little old man puffed like a pair of bellows; the lady of the winding sheet waved her nose to and fro; the gentleman in the cotton drawers pricked up his ears; she of the shroud gasped like a dying fish; and he of the coffin looked stiff and rolled up his eyes.

“A sentence!—a sentence!—a fair and just sentence!—a glorious decree!—a truly worthy, upright, and holy condemnation!” shouted the Pest family all at once. The king furrowed his brow with countless wrinkles; the gouty old man huffed like a pair of bellows; the woman in the winding sheet waved her nose back and forth; the guy in the cotton shorts perked up his ears; the woman in the shroud gasped like a fish out of water; and the man in the coffin looked stiff and rolled his eyes.

“Ugh! ugh! ugh!” chuckled Tarpaulin without heeding the general excitation, “ugh! ugh! ugh!—ugh! ugh! ugh!—ugh! ugh! ugh!—I was saying,” said he, “I was saying when Mr. King Pest poked in his marlin-spike, that as for the matter of two or three gallons more or less of Black Strap, it was a trifle to a tight sea-boat like myself not overstowed—but when it comes to drinking the health of the Devil (whom God assoilzie) and going down upon my marrow bones to his ill-favored majesty there, whom I know, as well as I know myself to be a sinner, to be nobody in the whole world, but Tim Hurlygurly the stage-player!—why! it’s quite another guess sort of a thing, and utterly and altogether past my comprehension.”

“Ugh! ugh! ugh!” laughed Tarpaulin, ignoring the general excitement. “Ugh! ugh! ugh!—ugh! ugh! ugh!—ugh! ugh! ugh!—I was saying,” he continued, “when Mr. King Pest stuck in his marlin-spike, that as for two or three gallons more or less of Black Strap, it was nothing for a sturdy sea-boat like me not to be overcrowded—but when it comes to drinking to the health of the Devil (whom God forgive) and getting down on my knees to his unpleasant majesty there, whom I know, just as well as I know myself to be a sinner, to be nobody other than Tim Hurlygurly the stage actor!—well! that’s a whole different matter, and completely beyond my understanding.”

He was not allowed to finish this speech in tranquillity. At the name Tim Hurlygurly the whole assembly leaped from their name seats.

He wasn’t able to finish his speech peacefully. At the mention of Tim Hurlygurly, the entire audience jumped up from their seats.

“Treason!” shouted his Majesty King Pest the First.

“Treason!” shouted his Majesty King Pest the First.

“Treason!” said the little man with the gout.

“Treason!” shouted the little guy with gout.

“Treason!” screamed the Arch Duchess Ana-Pest.

“Treason!” shouted Arch Duchess Ana-Pest.

“Treason!” muttered the gentleman with his jaws tied up.

“Treason!” whispered the man with his mouth restrained.

“Treason!” growled he of the coffin.

“Treason!” he growled from the coffin.

“Treason! treason!” shrieked her majesty of the mouth; and, seizing by the hinder part of his breeches the unfortunate Tarpaulin, who had just commenced pouring out for himself a skull of liqueur, she lifted him high into the air, and let him fall without ceremony into the huge open puncheon of his beloved ale. Bobbing up and down, for a few seconds, like an apple in a bowl of toddy, he, at length, finally disappeared amid the whirlpool of foam which, in the already effervescent liquor, his struggles easily succeeded in creating.

“Treason! Treason!” yelled her majesty, and grabbing the unfortunate Tarpaulin by the back of his pants, just as he was about to pour himself a drink, she lifted him high into the air and unceremoniously dropped him into the large barrel of his beloved ale. He bobbed up and down for a few seconds, like an apple in a bowl of punch, before finally disappearing into the whirlpool of foam he created with his struggles in the already bubbly drink.

Not tamely, however, did the tall seaman behold the discomfiture of his companion. Jostling King Pest through the open trap, the valiant Legs slammed the door down upon him with an oath, and strode towards the centre of the room. Here tearing down the skeleton which swung over the table, he laid it about him with so much energy and good will, that, as the last glimpses of light died away within the apartment, he succeeded in knocking out the brains of the little gentleman with the gout. Rushing then with all his force against the fatal hogshead full of October ale and Hugh Tarpaulin, he rolled it over and over in an instant. Out burst a deluge of liquor so fierce—so impetuous—so overwhelming—that the room was flooded from wall to wall—the loaded table was overturned—the tressels were thrown upon their backs—the tub of punch into the fire-place—and the ladies into hysterics. Piles of death-furniture floundered about. Jugs, pitchers, and carboys mingled promiscuously in the mêlée, and wicker flagons encountered desperately with bottles of junk. The man with the horrors was drowned upon the spot—the little stiff gentleman floated off in his coffin—and the victorious Legs, seizing by the waist the fat lady in the shroud, rushed out with her into the street, and made a bee-line for the Free and Easy, followed under easy sail by the redoubtable Hugh Tarpaulin, who, having sneezed three or four times, panted and puffed after him with the Arch Duchess Ana-Pest.

Not quietly, though, did the tall sailor watch his friend’s defeat. Shoving King Pest through the open trapdoor, the brave Legs slammed it shut with a curse and walked toward the center of the room. Here, he ripped down the skeleton hanging over the table and swung it around with such energy and determination that, as the last bits of light faded from the room, he managed to knock out the brains of the little guy with the gout. Then, charging with all his strength against the massive barrel of October ale and Hugh Tarpaulin, he tipped it over in an instant. A flood of liquor burst forth—so fierce, so powerful, so overwhelming—that the room was drenched from wall to wall—the piled table was flipped over—the trestles were thrown onto their backs—the punch tub tumbled into the fireplace—and the ladies were sent into hysterics. A pile of death-furniture floundered around. Jugs, pitchers, and carboys mixed wildly in the chaos, and wicker flagons clashed fiercely with bottles of rum. The man with the horrors was drowned right there—the little stiff gentleman floated away in his coffin—and the triumphant Legs, grabbing the fat lady in the shroud, rushed out into the street and headed straight for the Free and Easy, followed closely by the formidable Hugh Tarpaulin, who, after sneezing three or four times, panted and puffed after him with the Arch Duchess Ana-Pest.

THREE SUNDAYS IN A WEEK

“You hard-headed, dunder-headed, obstinate, rusty, crusty, musty, fusty, old savage!” said I, in fancy, one afternoon, to my grand uncle Rumgudgeon—shaking my fist at him in imagination.

“You stubborn, thick-headed, obstinate, old relic!” I imagined saying one afternoon to my grand uncle Rumgudgeon—shaking my fist at him in my mind.

Only in imagination. The fact is, some trivial discrepancy did exist, just then, between what I said and what I had not the courage to say—between what I did and what I had half a mind to do.

Only in imagination. The reality is, there was a small difference did exist, right then, between what I said and what I didn’t have the guts to say—between what I did and what I almost decided to do.

The old porpoise, as I opened the drawing-room door, was sitting with his feet upon the mantel-piece, and a bumper of port in his paw, making strenuous efforts to accomplish the ditty.

The old porpoise, as I opened the living room door, was sitting with his feet on the mantelpiece, holding a glass of port in his paw, trying hard to sing the song.

Remplis ton verre vide!
Vide ton verre plein!

Remplis ton verre vide!
Vide ton verre plein!

“My dear uncle,” said I, closing the door gently, and approaching him with the blandest of smiles, “you are always so very kind and considerate, and have evinced your benevolence in so many—so very many ways—that—that I feel I have only to suggest this little point to you once more to make sure of your full acquiescence.”

“My dear uncle,” I said, quietly closing the door and walking over to him with the sweetest smile, “you are always so kind and thoughtful, and you’ve shown your generosity in so many—so many ways—that I just need to bring up this small point one more time to ensure you fully agree.”

“Hem!” said he, “good boy! go on!”

“Hem!” he said, “good boy! Keep going!”

“I am sure, my dearest uncle (you confounded old rascal!), that you have no design really, seriously, to oppose my union with Kate. This is merely a joke of yours, I know—ha! ha! ha!—how very pleasant you are at times.”

“I’m sure, my dear uncle (you mischievous old rascal!), that you don’t actually intend to oppose my marrying Kate. This is just one of your jokes, I know—ha! ha! ha!—you can be so charming at times.”

“Ha! ha! ha!” said he, “curse you! yes!”

“Ha! Ha! Ha!” he said, “screw you! Yeah!”

“To be sure—of course! I knew you were jesting. Now, uncle, all that Kate and myself wish at present, is that you would oblige us with your advice as—as regards the time—you know, uncle—in short, when will it be most convenient for yourself, that the wedding shall—shall—come off, you know?”

"Of course! I knew you were joking. Now, uncle, all Kate and I want right now is for you to help us with your advice about when—well, you know, uncle—in short, when will it be most convenient for you for the wedding to—well—happen, you know?"

“Come off, you scoundrel!—what do you mean by that?—Better wait till it goes on.”

“Stop it, you jerk!—what do you mean by that?—You should probably wait until it continues.”

“Ha! ha! ha!—he! he! he!—hi! hi! hi!—ho! ho! ho!—hu! hu! hu!—oh, that’s good!—oh, that’s capital—such a wit! But all we want just now, you know, uncle, is that you would indicate the time precisely.”

“Ha! ha! ha!—he! he! he!—hi! hi! hi!—ho! ho! ho!—hu! hu! hu!—oh, that’s great!—oh, that’s brilliant—such a wit! But all we need right now, you know, Uncle, is for you to tell us the exact time.”

“Ah!—precisely?”

“Ah!—exactly?”

“Yes, uncle—that is, if it would be quite agreeable to yourself.”

"Yes, uncle—that is, if that works for you."

“Wouldn’t it answer, Bobby, if I were to leave it at random—some time within a year or so, for example?—must I say precisely?”

“Wouldn’t it be enough, Bobby, if I were to leave it to chance—sometime within a year or so, for instance?—must I be exact?”

If you please, uncle—precisely.”

“If you please, uncle—exactly.”

“Well, then, Bobby, my boy—you’re a fine fellow, aren’t you?—since you will have the exact time I’ll—why I’ll oblige you for once.”

“Well, then, Bobby, my boy—you’re a great guy, aren’t you?—since you want to know the exact time I’ll—well, I’ll help you out this once.”

“Dear uncle!”

“Hey uncle!”

“Hush, sir!” (drowning my voice)—“I’ll oblige you for once. You shall have my consent—and the plum, we mus’n’t forget the plum—let me see! when shall it be? To-day’s Sunday—isn’t it? Well, then, you shall be married precisely—precisely, now mind!—when three Sundays come together in a week! Do you hear me, sir! What are you gaping at? I say, you shall have Kate and her plum when three Sundays come together in a week—but not till then—you young scapegrace—not till then, if I die for it. You know me—I’m a man of my word—now be off!” Here he swallowed his bumper of port, while I rushed from the room in despair.

“Hush, sir!” (drowning my voice)—“I’ll do this for you just once. You’ll have my consent—and the plum, can't forget the plum—let me think! When should it be? Today’s Sunday—isn’t it? Well, then, you’ll get married exactly—exactly, pay attention!—when three Sundays come together in a week! Do you hear me, sir! What are you staring at? I said you’ll have Kate and her plum when three Sundays come together in a week—but not until then—you young rascal—not until then, even if it kills me. You know me—I keep my promises—now get out!” He downed his glass of port, while I rushed out of the room in despair.

A very “fine old English gentleman,” was my grand-uncle Rumgudgeon, but unlike him of the song, he had his weak points. He was a little, pursy, pompous, passionate semicircular somebody, with a red nose, a thick skull, a long purse, and a strong sense of his own consequence. With the best heart in the world, he contrived, through a predominant whim of contradiction, to earn for himself, among those who only knew him superficially, the character of a curmudgeon. Like many excellent people, he seemed possessed with a spirit of tantalization, which might easily, at a casual glance, have been mistaken for malevolence. To every request, a positive “No!” was his immediate answer; but in the end—in the long, long end—there were exceedingly few requests which he refused. Against all attacks upon his purse he made the most sturdy defence; but the amount extorted from him, at last, was generally in direct ratio with the length of the siege and the stubbornness of the resistance. In charity no one gave more liberally or with a worse grace.

My grand-uncle Rumgudgeon was quite the “fine old English gentleman,” but unlike the one in the song, he had his flaws. He was a short, plump, pompous man with a round body, a red nose, a thick head, a hefty wallet, and a strong sense of his own importance. Despite having the best intentions, he had a strong tendency to be contrary, which led those who only knew him casually to label him as a miser. Like many good people, he had a knack for teasing, which could easily be misinterpreted as malice at first glance. His immediate response to any request was a definitive “No!” but in the end—after much time and persistence—there were surprisingly few requests he actually turned down. He defended his money fiercely, but the amount he ultimately gave seemed to be directly related to how long he had to hold out and how stubborn the pleas were. When it came to charity, no one was more generous, but he did it with the least grace.

For the fine arts, and especially for the belles-lettres, he entertained a profound contempt. With this he had been inspired by Casimir Perier, whose pert little query “A quoi un poete est il bon?” he was in the habit of quoting, with a very droll pronunciation, as the ne plus ultra of logical wit. Thus my own inkling for the Muses had excited his entire displeasure. He assured me one day, when I asked him for a new copy of Horace, that the translation of “Poeta nascitur non fit” was “a nasty poet for nothing fit”—a remark which I took in high dudgeon. His repugnance to “the humanities” had, also, much increased of late, by an accidental bias in favor of what he supposed to be natural science. Somebody had accosted him in the street, mistaking him for no less a personage than Doctor Dubble L. Dee, the lecturer upon quack physics. This set him off at a tangent; and just at the epoch of this story—for story it is getting to be after all—my grand-uncle Rumgudgeon was accessible and pacific only upon points which happened to chime in with the caprioles of the hobby he was riding. For the rest, he laughed with his arms and legs, and his politics were stubborn and easily understood. He thought, with Horsley, that “the people have nothing to do with the laws but to obey them.”

He had a deep disdain for the fine arts, especially literature. This attitude was inspired by Casimir Perier, whose cheeky question “What good is a poet?” he liked to repeat, using a very amusing accent, as the pinnacle of clever wit. My own interest in poetry had sparked his complete disapproval. One day, when I asked him for a new copy of Horace, he told me that the translation of “Poeta nascitur non fit” was “a nasty poet for nothing fit”—a comment I took very seriously. His aversion to “the humanities” had also grown recently, partly because he had developed an unexpected interest in what he believed was natural science. Someone had approached him in the street, mistaking him for none other than Doctor Dubble L. Dee, the lecturer on dubious physics. This threw him off course; and just at the time this story takes place—because it is becoming a story after all—my grand-uncle Rumgudgeon was only approachable and calm on topics that lined up with the whims of the hobby he was currently obsessed with. Otherwise, he expressed his opinions with exaggerated gestures, and his politics were firm and straightforward. He agreed with Horsley that “the people have nothing to do with the laws but to obey them.”

I had lived with the old gentleman all my life. My parents, in dying, had bequeathed me to him as a rich legacy. I believe the old villain loved me as his own child—nearly if not quite as well as he loved Kate—but it was a dog’s existence that he led me, after all. From my first year until my fifth, he obliged me with very regular floggings. From five to fifteen, he threatened me, hourly, with the House of Correction. From fifteen to twenty, not a day passed in which he did not promise to cut me off with a shilling. I was a sad dog, it is true—but then it was a part of my nature—a point of my faith. In Kate, however, I had a firm friend, and I knew it. She was a good girl, and told me very sweetly that I might have her (plum and all) whenever I could badger my grand-uncle Rumgudgeon, into the necessary consent. Poor girl!—she was barely fifteen, and without this consent, her little amount in the funds was not come-at-able until five immeasurable summers had “dragged their slow length along.” What, then, to do? At fifteen, or even at twenty-one (for I had now passed my fifth olympiad) five years in prospect are very much the same as five hundred. In vain we besieged the old gentleman with importunities. Here was a piece de resistance (as Messieurs Ude and Careme would say) which suited his perverse fancy to a T. It would have stiffed the indignation of Job himself, to see how much like an old mouser he behaved to us two poor wretched little mice. In his heart he wished for nothing more ardently than our union. He had made up his mind to this all along. In fact, he would have given ten thousand pounds from his own pocket (Kate’s plum was her own) if he could have invented any thing like an excuse for complying with our very natural wishes. But then we had been so imprudent as to broach the subject ourselves. Not to oppose it under such circumstances, I sincerely believe, was not in his power.

I had lived with the old man my whole life. My parents, when they passed away, had left me to him as a sort of rich inheritance. I think the old jerk loved me like his own child—almost as much as he loved Kate—but it was a pretty miserable life he made me live after all. From my first year until my fifth, he gave me regular beatings. From ages five to fifteen, he constantly threatened to send me to a correctional facility. From fifteen to twenty, not a day went by without him promising to cut me off with just a shilling. I was a sad case, it's true—but that was just part of who I was—part of my core beliefs. However, I had a solid friend in Kate, and I knew that. She was a good girl who sweetly told me that I could have her (plum and all) whenever I could persuade my great-uncle Rumgudgeon to give me the necessary permission. Poor girl!—she was barely fifteen, and without that permission, her little savings were locked away until five long years had “dragged their slow length along.” So, what to do? At fifteen, or even at twenty-one (since I had now turned five), five years in the future felt like five hundred. We tried to wear the old man down with our pleas. Here was a challenge (as Messieurs Ude and Careme would say) that matched his stubborn nature perfectly. It would have tested the patience of Job himself to see how much like an old cat he acted toward us two poor little mice. Deep down, he wanted nothing more than for us to be together. He had been planning this all along. In fact, he would have given away ten thousand pounds from his own money (Kate’s inheritance was hers) if he could have come up with any excuse to support our very reasonable wishes. But we had been foolish enough to bring up the topic ourselves. I truly believe that not going against it under those conditions was beyond his ability.

I have said already that he had his weak points; but in speaking of these, I must not be understood as referring to his obstinacy: which was one of his strong points—“assurement ce n’ etait pas sa foible.” When I mention his weakness I have allusion to a bizarre old-womanish superstition which beset him. He was great in dreams, portents, et id genus omne of rigmarole. He was excessively punctilious, too, upon small points of honor, and, after his own fashion, was a man of his word, beyond doubt. This was, in fact, one of his hobbies. The spirit of his vows he made no scruple of setting at naught, but the letter was a bond inviolable. Now it was this latter peculiarity in his disposition, of which Kate’s ingenuity enabled us one fine day, not long after our interview in the dining-room, to take a very unexpected advantage, and, having thus, in the fashion of all modern bards and orators, exhausted in prolegomena, all the time at my command, and nearly all the room at my disposal, I will sum up in a few words what constitutes the whole pith of the story.

I’ve already mentioned that he had his flaws, but when I talk about these, I don’t mean his stubbornness, which was one of his strengths—“certainly that wasn’t his weakness.” When I refer to his weaknesses, I’m talking about a strange old-fashioned superstition he held onto. He was really into dreams, omens, and all that sort of nonsense. He was also very meticulous about small points of honor and, in his own way, was definitely a man of his word. This was one of his quirks. While he sometimes ignored the spirit of his promises, he treated the literal terms as an unbreakable bond. It was this particular trait that Kate’s cleverness allowed us to take advantage of one day, not long after our chat in the dining room. Now, having taken all this time and nearly all the space I have, like any modern storyteller, I’ll sum up in a few words what really matters in this story.

It happened then—so the Fates ordered it—that among the naval acquaintances of my betrothed, were two gentlemen who had just set foot upon the shores of England, after a year’s absence, each, in foreign travel. In company with these gentlemen, my cousin and I, preconcertedly paid uncle Rumgudgeon a visit on the afternoon of Sunday, October the tenth,—just three weeks after the memorable decision which had so cruelly defeated our hopes. For about half an hour the conversation ran upon ordinary topics, but at last, we contrived, quite naturally, to give it the following turn:

It happened then—just as the Fates decided—that among the naval acquaintances of my fiancée were two gentlemen who had just returned to England after a year abroad. Along with these gentlemen, my cousin and I had planned a visit to Uncle Rumgudgeon on the afternoon of Sunday, October 10th—just three weeks after the unforgettable decision that had dashed our hopes. For about half an hour, the conversation flowed around ordinary topics, but eventually, we managed to shift it to the following subject:

CAPT. PRATT. “Well I have been absent just one year.—Just one year to-day, as I live—let me see! yes!—this is October the tenth. You remember, Mr. Rumgudgeon, I called, this day year to bid you good-bye. And by the way, it does seem something like a coincidence, does it not—that our friend, Captain Smitherton, here, has been absent exactly a year also—a year to-day!”

CAPT. PRATT. “Well, I’ve been gone just one year—exactly one year today, as I live—let me see! Yes!—today is October tenth. You remember, Mr. Rumgudgeon, I stopped by today last year to say goodbye. By the way, isn’t it a bit of a coincidence that our friend, Captain Smitherton, here, has also been gone for exactly a year—one year today!”

SMITHERTON. “Yes! just one year to a fraction. You will remember, Mr. Rumgudgeon, that I called with Capt. Pratol on this very day, last year, to pay my parting respects.”

SMITHERTON. “Yes! just one year to the day. You’ll remember, Mr. Rumgudgeon, that I visited with Capt. Pratol on this same day last year to say my goodbyes.”

UNCLE. “Yes, yes, yes—I remember it very well—very queer indeed! Both of you gone just one year. A very strange coincidence, indeed! Just what Doctor Dubble L. Dee would denominate an extraordinary concurrence of events. Doctor Dub—”

UNCLE. “Yeah, yeah, yeah—I remember it clearly—very odd indeed! Both of you gone for just a year. Such a strange coincidence, for sure! Just what Doctor Dubble L. Dee would call an extraordinary coincidence of events. Doctor Dub—”

KATE. (Interrupting.) “To be sure, papa, it is something strange; but then Captain Pratt and Captain Smitherton didn’t go altogether the same route, and that makes a difference, you know.”

KATE. (Interrupting.) “Of course, Dad, it is a bit odd; but Captain Pratt and Captain Smitherton didn’t take exactly the same route, and that makes a difference, you know.”

UNCLE. “I don’t know any such thing, you huzzy! How should I? I think it only makes the matter more remarkable, Doctor Dubble L. Dee—”

UNCLE. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, you hussy! How could I? I think it just makes the situation even more interesting, Doctor Dubble L. Dee—”

KATE. “Why, papa, Captain Pratt went round Cape Horn, and Captain Smitherton doubled the Cape of Good Hope.”

KATE. “Why, Dad, Captain Pratt went around Cape Horn, and Captain Smitherton went around the Cape of Good Hope.”

UNCLE. “Precisely!—the one went east and the other went west, you jade, and they both have gone quite round the world. By the by, Doctor Dubble L. Dee—”

UNCLE. “Exactly!—one went east and the other went west, you little rascal, and they both made their way all the way around the world. By the way, Doctor Dubble L. Dee—”

MYSELF. (Hurriedly.) “Captain Pratt, you must come and spend the evening with us to-morrow—you and Smitherton—you can tell us all about your voyage, and we’ll have a game of whist and—”

MYSELF. (Hurriedly.) “Captain Pratt, you have to come and spend the evening with us tomorrow—you and Smitherton—you can share all about your voyage, and we’ll play a game of whist and—”

PRATT. “Wist, my dear fellow—you forget. To-morrow will be Sunday. Some other evening—”

PRATT. “Listen, my friend—you’re forgetting. Tomorrow is Sunday. Let’s do it another evening—”

KATE. “Oh, no, fie!—Robert’s not quite so bad as that. To-day’s Sunday.”

KATE. “Oh, no, come on! Robert’s not that bad. Today’s Sunday.”

PRATT. “I beg both your pardons—but I can’t be so much mistaken. I know to-morrow’s Sunday, because-”

PRATT. “I’m sorry, but I can’t be that wrong. I know tomorrow is Sunday because—”

SMITHERTON. (Much surprised.) “What are you all thinking about? Wasn’t yesterday, Sunday, I should like to know?”

SMITHERTON. (Much surprised.) “What are you all thinking about? Wasn’t yesterday Sunday, just so you know?”

ALL. “Yesterday indeed! you are out!”

ALL. “You really are out! That was yesterday!”

UNCLE. “To-day’s Sunday, I say—don’t I know?”

UNCLE. “Today’s Sunday, I know that!”

PRATT. “Oh no!—to-morrow’s Sunday.”

PRATT. “Oh no! Tomorrow's Sunday.”

SMITHERTON. “You are all mad—every one of you. I am as positive that yesterday was Sunday as I am that I sit upon this chair.”

SMITHERTON. “You’re all crazy—every single one of you. I’m just as sure that yesterday was Sunday as I am that I’m sitting in this chair.”

KATE. (Jumping up eagerly.) “I see it—I see it all. Papa, this is a judgment upon you, about—about you know what. Let me alone, and I’ll explain it all in a minute. It’s a very simple thing, indeed. Captain Smitherton says that yesterday was Sunday: so it was; he is right. Cousin Bobby, and uncle and I say that to-day is Sunday: so it is; we are right. Captain Pratt maintains that to-morrow will be Sunday: so it will; he is right, too. The fact is, we are all right, and thus three Sundays have come together in a week.”

KATE. (Jumping up eagerly.) “I see it—I see it all. Dad, this is a judgment on you, about—about you know what. Just give me a minute, and I’ll explain everything. It’s really simple. Captain Smitherton says that yesterday was Sunday: and it was; he’s right. Cousin Bobby, my uncle, and I say that today is Sunday: and it is; we’re right. Captain Pratt insists that tomorrow will be Sunday: and it will be; he’s right too. The truth is, we’re all right, and so three Sundays have come together in one week.”

SMITHERTON. (After a pause.) “By the by, Pratt, Kate has us completely. What fools we two are! Mr. Rumgudgeon, the matter stands thus: the earth, you know, is twenty-four thousand miles in circumference. Now this globe of the earth turns upon its own axis—revolves—spins round—these twenty-four thousand miles of extent, going from west to east, in precisely twenty-four hours. Do you understand, Mr. Rumgudgeon?—”

SMITHERTON. (After a pause.) “By the way, Pratt, Kate has totally outsmarted us. What idiots we are! Mr. Rumgudgeon, here's the thing: the earth is about twenty-four thousand miles around. Now this globe spins on its own axis—revolves—turns around—covering those twenty-four thousand miles from west to east in exactly twenty-four hours. Do you get it, Mr. Rumgudgeon?”

UNCLE. “To be sure—to be sure—Doctor Dub—”

UNCLE. "Of course—of course—Dr. Dub—"

SMITHERTON. (Drowning his voice.) “Well, sir; that is at the rate of one thousand miles per hour. Now, suppose that I sail from this position a thousand miles east. Of course I anticipate the rising of the sun here at London by just one hour. I see the sun rise one hour before you do. Proceeding, in the same direction, yet another thousand miles, I anticipate the rising by two hours—another thousand, and I anticipate it by three hours, and so on, until I go entirely round the globe, and back to this spot, when, having gone twenty-four thousand miles east, I anticipate the rising of the London sun by no less than twenty-four hours; that is to say, I am a day in advance of your time. Understand, eh?”

SMITHERTON. (Lowering his voice.) “Well, sir; that’s at the speed of one thousand miles per hour. Now, let’s say I travel from here a thousand miles east. Naturally, I expect to see the sun rise here in London one hour earlier than you do. I see the sun rise one hour before you. Continuing in the same direction for another thousand miles, I expect the rise to be two hours earlier—another thousand, and it’s three hours earlier, and so on, until I make a complete circle around the globe and return to this spot. By then, having traveled twenty-four thousand miles east, I expect the London sun to rise twenty-four hours earlier; in other words, I would be a whole day ahead of your time. Got it?”

UNCLE. “But Double L. Dee—”

UNCLE. “But Double L. Dee—”

SMITHERTON. (Speaking very loud.) “Captain Pratt, on the contrary, when he had sailed a thousand miles west of this position, was an hour, and when he had sailed twenty-four thousand miles west, was twenty-four hours, or one day, behind the time at London. Thus, with me, yesterday was Sunday—thus, with you, to-day is Sunday—and thus, with Pratt, to-morrow will be Sunday. And what is more, Mr. Rumgudgeon, it is positively clear that we are all right; for there can be no philosophical reason assigned why the idea of one of us should have preference over that of the other.”

SMITHERTON. (Speaking very loudly.) “Captain Pratt, on the other hand, when he sailed a thousand miles west of this spot, was an hour behind, and when he sailed twenty-four thousand miles west, he was a full day behind the time in London. So, for me, yesterday was Sunday—so for you, today is Sunday—and for Pratt, tomorrow will be Sunday. And what's more, Mr. Rumgudgeon, it’s perfectly clear that we're all right; there’s no logical reason why one of us should be considered correct over the others.”

UNCLE. “My eyes!—well, Kate—well, Bobby!—this is a judgment upon me, as you say. But I am a man of my word—mark that! you shall have her, boy, (plum and all), when you please. Done up, by Jove! Three Sundays all in a row! I’ll go, and take Dubble L. Dee’s opinion upon that.”

UNCLE. “Oh my eyes!—well, Kate—well, Bobby!—this is a punishment for me, as you say. But I'm a man of my word—keep that in mind! You can have her, kid, (plum and all), whenever you want. It’s settled, by Jove! Three Sundays in a row! I’ll go and get Dubble L. Dee’s opinion on that.”

VOLUME 4.

THE DEVIL IN THE BELFRY

What o’clock is it?—Old Saying.

What time is it?—Old Saying.

Everybody knows, in a general way, that the finest place in the world is—or, alas, was—the Dutch borough of Vondervotteimittiss. Yet as it lies some distance from any of the main roads, being in a somewhat out-of-the-way situation, there are perhaps very few of my readers who have ever paid it a visit. For the benefit of those who have not, therefore, it will be only proper that I should enter into some account of it. And this is indeed the more necessary, as with the hope of enlisting public sympathy in behalf of the inhabitants, I design here to give a history of the calamitous events which have so lately occurred within its limits. No one who knows me will doubt that the duty thus self-imposed will be executed to the best of my ability, with all that rigid impartiality, all that cautious examination into facts, and diligent collation of authorities, which should ever distinguish him who aspires to the title of historian.

Everyone generally knows that the best place in the world is—or, sadly, was—the Dutch town of Vondervotteimittiss. However, since it's a bit off the beaten path, there are probably very few of you who have actually visited it. For those who haven't, I think it's only fair that I provide some information about it. This is especially important since I aim to gather public support for the residents by sharing the unfortunate events that have recently taken place there. Anyone who knows me can be assured that I will take on this task with my utmost effort, equipped with the necessary impartiality, careful examination of facts, and thorough comparison of sources that should always characterize someone who seeks to be called a historian.

By the united aid of medals, manuscripts, and inscriptions, I am enabled to say, positively, that the borough of Vondervotteimittiss has existed, from its origin, in precisely the same condition which it at present preserves. Of the date of this origin, however, I grieve that I can only speak with that species of indefinite definiteness which mathematicians are, at times, forced to put up with in certain algebraic formulae. The date, I may thus say, in regard to the remoteness of its antiquity, cannot be less than any assignable quantity whatsoever.

Thanks to the combined help of medals, manuscripts, and inscriptions, I can confidently say that the borough of Vondervotteimittiss has existed in exactly the same state since its beginning. Unfortunately, I can only refer to the date of this origin with a kind of vague precision that mathematicians sometimes have to accept in certain algebraic formulas. I can say that, regarding how far back it goes, the date cannot be less than any measurable quantity at all.

Touching the derivation of the name Vondervotteimittiss, I confess myself, with sorrow, equally at fault. Among a multitude of opinions upon this delicate point—some acute, some learned, some sufficiently the reverse—I am able to select nothing which ought to be considered satisfactory. Perhaps the idea of Grogswigg—nearly coincident with that of Kroutaplenttey—is to be cautiously preferred.—It runs:—“Vondervotteimittis—Vonder, lege Donder—Votteimittis, quasi und Bleitziz—Bleitziz obsol:—pro Blitzen.” This derivative, to say the truth, is still countenanced by some traces of the electric fluid evident on the summit of the steeple of the House of the Town-Council. I do not choose, however, to commit myself on a theme of such importance, and must refer the reader desirous of information to the “Oratiunculae de Rebus Praeter-Veteris,” of Dundergutz. See, also, Blunderbuzzard “De Derivationibus,” pp. 27 to 5010, Folio, Gothic edit., Red and Black character, Catch-word and No Cypher; wherein consult, also, marginal notes in the autograph of Stuffundpuff, with the Sub-Commentaries of Gruntundguzzell.

Regarding the origin of the name Vondervotteimittiss, I admit, with regret, that I'm equally unsure. Among the many opinions on this tricky issue—some insightful, some scholarly, and some quite the opposite—I can't find anything that seems satisfactory. Perhaps the concept of Grogswigg—almost the same as that of Kroutaplenttey—should be cautiously favored. It goes like this: “Vondervotteimittis—Vonder, legi Donder—Votteimittis, meaning und Bleitziz—Bleitziz obsolete: for Blitzen.” To be honest, this derivation is still supported by some evidence of the electrical energy visible on the top of the Town Council's steeple. However, I prefer not to take a stance on such an important topic, and I must direct readers seeking more information to “Oratiunculae de Rebus Praeter-Veteris” by Dundergutz. Also, refer to Blunderbuzzard’s “De Derivationibus,” pages 27 to 5010, Folio, Gothic edition, in Red and Black ink, with Catch-word and No Cipher; where you should also check the marginal notes in the handwriting of Stuffundpuff, along with the Sub-Commentaries of Gruntundguzzell.

Notwithstanding the obscurity which thus envelops the date of the foundation of Vondervotteimittis, and the derivation of its name, there can be no doubt, as I said before, that it has always existed as we find it at this epoch. The oldest man in the borough can remember not the slightest difference in the appearance of any portion of it; and, indeed, the very suggestion of such a possibility is considered an insult. The site of the village is in a perfectly circular valley, about a quarter of a mile in circumference, and entirely surrounded by gentle hills, over whose summit the people have never yet ventured to pass. For this they assign the very good reason that they do not believe there is anything at all on the other side.

Despite the uncertainty surrounding the founding date of Vondervotteimittis and the origin of its name, there's no doubt, as I mentioned before, that it has always existed as we see it today. The oldest resident in the borough can't recall a single change in any part of it; in fact, even bringing up the possibility of change is considered an insult. The village is located in a perfectly round valley, about a quarter of a mile in circumference, completely surrounded by gentle hills, which the residents have never dared to cross. They offer a perfectly reasonable explanation for this: they believe there's nothing at all on the other side.

Round the skirts of the valley (which is quite level, and paved throughout with flat tiles), extends a continuous row of sixty little houses. These, having their backs on the hills, must look, of course, to the centre of the plain, which is just sixty yards from the front door of each dwelling. Every house has a small garden before it, with a circular path, a sun-dial, and twenty-four cabbages. The buildings themselves are so precisely alike, that one can in no manner be distinguished from the other. Owing to the vast antiquity, the style of architecture is somewhat odd, but it is not for that reason the less strikingly picturesque. They are fashioned of hard-burned little bricks, red, with black ends, so that the walls look like a chess-board upon a great scale. The gables are turned to the front, and there are cornices, as big as all the rest of the house, over the eaves and over the main doors. The windows are narrow and deep, with very tiny panes and a great deal of sash. On the roof is a vast quantity of tiles with long curly ears. The woodwork, throughout, is of a dark hue and there is much carving about it, with but a trifling variety of pattern for, time out of mind, the carvers of Vondervotteimittiss have never been able to carve more than two objects—a time-piece and a cabbage. But these they do exceedingly well, and intersperse them, with singular ingenuity, wherever they find room for the chisel.

Around the edges of the valley, which is completely flat and paved with flat tiles, there’s a continuous row of sixty small houses. These houses face the center of the plain, which is just sixty yards from each front door. Each house has a small garden in front, complete with a circular path, a sundial, and twenty-four cabbages. The buildings themselves are all exactly the same, so you can’t tell one from another. Due to their great age, the architectural style is a bit unusual, but that doesn’t make it any less picturesque. They’re made of hard-baked red bricks with black ends, giving the walls a checkerboard appearance on a large scale. The gables face the front, and there are cornices as large as the rest of the house above the eaves and main doors. The windows are narrow and deep, with very small panes and a lot of sash. The roofs are covered in many tiles with long, curly edges. The woodwork throughout is dark and features a lot of carving, but with very little variety in the patterns, since the carvers of Vondervotteimittiss have only ever managed to carve two things—a clock and a cabbage. However, they do these exceedingly well and cleverly place them wherever they can find space for the chisel.

The dwellings are as much alike inside as out, and the furniture is all upon one plan. The floors are of square tiles, the chairs and tables of black-looking wood with thin crooked legs and puppy feet. The mantelpieces are wide and high, and have not only time-pieces and cabbages sculptured over the front, but a real time-piece, which makes a prodigious ticking, on the top in the middle, with a flower-pot containing a cabbage standing on each extremity by way of outrider. Between each cabbage and the time-piece, again, is a little China man having a large stomach with a great round hole in it, through which is seen the dial-plate of a watch.

The houses look the same both inside and out, and the furniture follows a single design. The floors are covered in square tiles, while the chairs and tables are made of dark wood with thin, crooked legs and puppy-like feet. The mantelpieces are wide and tall, featuring not just clocks and decorative cabbages sculpted on the front but also a real clock that ticks loudly, placed in the center on top, with a flowerpot holding a cabbage on each end as decoration. Between the clock and each cabbage, there’s a small china figure with a large belly and a big round hole in it, showing the dial of a watch.

The fireplaces are large and deep, with fierce crooked-looking fire-dogs. There is constantly a rousing fire, and a huge pot over it, full of sauer-kraut and pork, to which the good woman of the house is always busy in attending. She is a little fat old lady, with blue eyes and a red face, and wears a huge cap like a sugar-loaf, ornamented with purple and yellow ribbons. Her dress is of orange-colored linsey-woolsey, made very full behind and very short in the waist—and indeed very short in other respects, not reaching below the middle of her leg. This is somewhat thick, and so are her ankles, but she has a fine pair of green stockings to cover them. Her shoes—of pink leather—are fastened each with a bunch of yellow ribbons puckered up in the shape of a cabbage. In her left hand she has a little heavy Dutch watch; in her right she wields a ladle for the sauerkraut and pork. By her side there stands a fat tabby cat, with a gilt toy-repeater tied to its tail, which “the boys” have there fastened by way of a quiz.

The fireplaces are large and deep, with fierce-looking, crooked fire-dogs. There's always a lively fire burning and a big pot over it, filled with sauerkraut and pork, which the woman of the house is always tending to. She's a little, chubby old lady with blue eyes and a red face, wearing a huge cap that resembles a sugar loaf, decorated with purple and yellow ribbons. Her dress is made of orange-colored linsey-woolsey, very full in the back and short in the waist—and in fact, quite short in general, not reaching below the middle of her leg. This gives her a bit of a thick appearance, and her ankles are the same, but she wears a nice pair of green stockings to cover them. Her shoes, made of pink leather, are fastened with bunches of yellow ribbons shaped like cabbages. In her left hand, she holds a little heavy Dutch watch; in her right, she wields a ladle for the sauerkraut and pork. Next to her stands a plump tabby cat with a toy repeater attached to its tail, which “the boys” have fastened there as a joke.

The boys themselves are, all three of them, in the garden attending the pig. They are each two feet in height. They have three-cornered cocked hats, purple waistcoats reaching down to their thighs, buckskin knee-breeches, red stockings, heavy shoes with big silver buckles, long surtout coats with large buttons of mother-of-pearl. Each, too, has a pipe in his mouth, and a little dumpy watch in his right hand. He takes a puff and a look, and then a look and a puff. The pig—which is corpulent and lazy—is occupied now in picking up the stray leaves that fall from the cabbages, and now in giving a kick behind at the gilt repeater, which the urchins have also tied to his tail in order to make him look as handsome as the cat.

The boys are all three in the garden taking care of the pig. Each is two feet tall. They wear three-cornered hats, purple vests that reach their thighs, buckskin breeches, red stockings, and heavy shoes with big silver buckles. They also have long coats adorned with large mother-of-pearl buttons. Each has a pipe in his mouth and a small, round watch in his right hand. He takes a puff, looks around, then looks again and puffs once more. The pig, which is fat and lazy, is busy picking up stray leaves that fall from the cabbages and occasionally kicks at the fancy watch that the boys have tied to its tail to make it look as stylish as the cat.

Right at the front door, in a high-backed leather-bottomed armed chair, with crooked legs and puppy feet like the tables, is seated the old man of the house himself. He is an exceedingly puffy little old gentleman, with big circular eyes and a huge double chin. His dress resembles that of the boys—and I need say nothing farther about it. All the difference is, that his pipe is somewhat bigger than theirs and he can make a greater smoke. Like them, he has a watch, but he carries his watch in his pocket. To say the truth, he has something of more importance than a watch to attend to—and what that is, I shall presently explain. He sits with his right leg upon his left knee, wears a grave countenance, and always keeps one of his eyes, at least, resolutely bent upon a certain remarkable object in the centre of the plain.

Right at the front door, in a high-backed leather chair with padded arms and crooked legs like the tables, sits the old man of the house. He's a very plump little old gentleman, with large round eyes and a huge double chin. His outfit looks similar to the boys', and I don’t need to say more about it. The only difference is that his pipe is a bit larger than theirs, and he can create a bigger cloud of smoke. Like them, he has a watch, but he keeps his watch in his pocket. To be honest, he has something more important than a watch to focus on—and I’ll explain what that is shortly. He sits with his right leg crossed over his left knee, wears a serious expression, and always keeps at least one of his eyes firmly fixed on a particular noteworthy object in the center of the field.

This object is situated in the steeple of the House of the Town Council. The Town Council are all very little, round, oily, intelligent men, with big saucer eyes and fat double chins, and have their coats much longer and their shoe-buckles much bigger than the ordinary inhabitants of Vondervotteimittiss. Since my sojourn in the borough, they have had several special meetings, and have adopted these three important resolutions:

This object is located in the steeple of the Town Council building. The Town Council consists of small, round, slick, smart men with large, saucer-like eyes and chubby double chins. Their coats are much longer and their shoe buckles much bigger than those of the average residents of Vondervotteimittiss. Since I’ve been in the town, they’ve held several special meetings and have passed three important resolutions:

“That it is wrong to alter the good old course of things:”

“That it is wrong to change the good old way of doing things:”

“That there is nothing tolerable out of Vondervotteimittiss:” and—

“That there is nothing acceptable outside of Vondervotteimittiss:” and—

“That we will stick by our clocks and our cabbages.”

“That we will stand by our clocks and our cabbages.”

Above the session-room of the Council is the steeple, and in the steeple is the belfry, where exists, and has existed time out of mind, the pride and wonder of the village—the great clock of the borough of Vondervotteimittiss. And this is the object to which the eyes of the old gentlemen are turned who sit in the leather-bottomed arm-chairs.

Above the meeting room of the Council is the steeple, and in the steeple is the belfry, which has always been the pride and marvel of the village—the great clock of the borough of Vondervotteimittiss. This is the object that the elderly gentlemen gaze at as they sit in their leather-bottomed armchairs.

The great clock has seven faces—one in each of the seven sides of the steeple—so that it can be readily seen from all quarters. Its faces are large and white, and its hands heavy and black. There is a belfry-man whose sole duty is to attend to it; but this duty is the most perfect of sinecures—for the clock of Vondervotteimittis was never yet known to have anything the matter with it. Until lately, the bare supposition of such a thing was considered heretical. From the remotest period of antiquity to which the archives have reference, the hours have been regularly struck by the big bell. And, indeed the case was just the same with all the other clocks and watches in the borough. Never was such a place for keeping the true time. When the large clapper thought proper to say “Twelve o’clock!” all its obedient followers opened their throats simultaneously, and responded like a very echo. In short, the good burghers were fond of their sauer-kraut, but then they were proud of their clocks.

The big clock has seven faces—one on each side of the steeple—so it can be easily seen from every direction. Its faces are large and white, and its hands are thick and black. There's a bell-ringer whose only job is to look after it, but this job is the ultimate easy gig—because the clock of Vondervotteimittis has never been known to have any issues. Until recently, even the idea that it could malfunction was considered heretical. For as long as anyone can remember, the big bell has been striking the hours regularly. And honestly, the same goes for all the other clocks and watches in the town. It’s never been a better place to know the right time. When the big clapper chose to announce "Twelve o’clock!", all its faithful followers responded in unison, like an echo. In short, the good townsfolk loved their sauerkraut, but they were even prouder of their clocks.

All people who hold sinecure offices are held in more or less respect, and as the belfry—man of Vondervotteimittiss has the most perfect of sinecures, he is the most perfectly respected of any man in the world. He is the chief dignitary of the borough, and the very pigs look up to him with a sentiment of reverence. His coat-tail is very far longer—his pipe, his shoe-buckles, his eyes, and his stomach, very far bigger—than those of any other old gentleman in the village; and as to his chin, it is not only double, but triple.

Everyone with a cushy job gets some level of respect, and since the belfry-man of Vondervotteimittiss has the cushiest job of all, he’s the most respected man in the world. He’s the top official of the borough, and even the pigs look up to him with admiration. His coat-tail is way longer—his pipe, his shoe-buckles, his eyes, and his stomach are all much bigger—than any other old guy in the village; and as for his chin, it isn’t just double, but triple.

I have thus painted the happy estate of Vondervotteimittiss: alas, that so fair a picture should ever experience a reverse!

I have painted the happy state of Vondervotteimittiss: sadly, that such a beautiful picture should ever face a decline!

There has been long a saying among the wisest inhabitants, that “no good can come from over the hills”; and it really seemed that the words had in them something of the spirit of prophecy. It wanted five minutes of noon, on the day before yesterday, when there appeared a very odd-looking object on the summit of the ridge of the eastward. Such an occurrence, of course, attracted universal attention, and every little old gentleman who sat in a leather-bottomed arm-chair turned one of his eyes with a stare of dismay upon the phenomenon, still keeping the other upon the clock in the steeple.

There’s been a long-held belief among the wisest locals that “nothing good can come from beyond the hills,” and it really felt like those words carried a hint of prophecy. It was just five minutes before noon the day before yesterday when a very strange-looking object appeared at the top of the ridge to the east. Naturally, this unusual sight drew everyone’s attention, and every little old man sitting in a leather armchair turned one eye in shock toward the spectacle while keeping the other on the clock in the steeple.

By the time that it wanted only three minutes to noon, the droll object in question was perceived to be a very diminutive foreign-looking young man. He descended the hills at a great rate, so that every body had soon a good look at him. He was really the most finicky little personage that had ever been seen in Vondervotteimittiss. His countenance was of a dark snuff-color, and he had a long hooked nose, pea eyes, a wide mouth, and an excellent set of teeth, which latter he seemed anxious of displaying, as he was grinning from ear to ear. What with mustachios and whiskers, there was none of the rest of his face to be seen. His head was uncovered, and his hair neatly done up in papillotes. His dress was a tight-fitting swallow-tailed black coat (from one of whose pockets dangled a vast length of white handkerchief), black kerseymere knee-breeches, black stockings, and stumpy-looking pumps, with huge bunches of black satin ribbon for bows. Under one arm he carried a huge chapeau-de-bras, and under the other a fiddle nearly five times as big as himself. In his left hand was a gold snuff-box, from which, as he capered down the hill, cutting all manner of fantastic steps, he took snuff incessantly with an air of the greatest possible self-satisfaction. God bless me!—here was a sight for the honest burghers of Vondervotteimittiss!

As it was just three minutes until noon, the amusing figure in question was seen to be a very small, foreign-looking young man. He rushed down the hills so fast that everyone soon got a good look at him. He was undoubtedly the most finicky little person anyone had ever seen in Vondervotteimittiss. His face was a dark brown color, and he had a long hooked nose, small eyes, a wide mouth, and a great set of teeth, which he seemed eager to show off as he grinned from ear to ear. With his mustache and sideburns, there was hardly any of his face visible. His head was bare, and his hair was neatly styled in curls. He wore a fitted black swallow-tailed coat (from one of its pockets dangled a long white handkerchief), black knee-breeches, black stockings, and clunky-looking shoes, adorned with large black satin ribbon bows. Under one arm, he carried a big chapeau-de-bras, and under the other, a fiddle nearly five times his size. In his left hand, he held a gold snuffbox, from which, as he danced down the hill, performing all sorts of fanciful steps, he took snuff endlessly with an air of utmost self-satisfaction. My goodness!—what a sight for the good citizens of Vondervotteimittiss!

To speak plainly, the fellow had, in spite of his grinning, an audacious and sinister kind of face; and as he curvetted right into the village, the old stumpy appearance of his pumps excited no little suspicion; and many a burgher who beheld him that day would have given a trifle for a peep beneath the white cambric handkerchief which hung so obtrusively from the pocket of his swallow-tailed coat. But what mainly occasioned a righteous indignation was, that the scoundrelly popinjay, while he cut a fandango here, and a whirligig there, did not seem to have the remotest idea in the world of such a thing as keeping time in his steps.

To put it simply, the guy had, despite his grin, a bold and somewhat creepy face; and as he pranced right into the village, the old, worn look of his shoes raised quite a bit of suspicion. Many townspeople who saw him that day would have gladly paid to sneak a look under the white handkerchief that hung so prominently from the pocket of his tailcoat. But what really sparked righteous indignation was that the obnoxious show-off, while he twirled this way and that, didn’t seem to have the slightest clue about keeping time with his steps.

The good people of the borough had scarcely a chance, however, to get their eyes thoroughly open, when, just as it wanted half a minute of noon, the rascal bounced, as I say, right into the midst of them; gave a chassez here, and a balancez there; and then, after a pirouette and a pas-de-zephyr, pigeon-winged himself right up into the belfry of the House of the Town Council, where the wonder-stricken belfry-man sat smoking in a state of dignity and dismay. But the little chap seized him at once by the nose; gave it a swing and a pull; clapped the big chapeau-de-bras upon his head; knocked it down over his eyes and mouth; and then, lifting up the big fiddle, beat him with it so long and so soundly, that what with the belfry-man being so fat, and the fiddle being so hollow, you would have sworn that there was a regiment of double-bass drummers all beating the devil’s tattoo up in the belfry of the steeple of Vondervotteimittiss.

The good folks of the borough barely had a chance to fully wake up when, just as it was about to be noon, the rascal jumped right in front of them; did a little here, and a little there; and then, after a spin and a light dance move, he flapped his way up into the bell tower of the Town Council, where the astonished bell-ringer was sitting, smoking, looking both dignified and shocked. But the little guy instantly grabbed him by the nose; gave it a swing and a pull; slapped the big hat on his head; pushed it down over his eyes and mouth; and then, lifting the large fiddle, hit him with it so hard and for so long that, with the bell-ringer being so chubby, and the fiddle being so hollow, you would have thought a whole regiment of bass drummers was up there banging away in the bell tower of Vondervotteimittiss.

There is no knowing to what desperate act of vengeance this unprincipled attack might have aroused the inhabitants, but for the important fact that it now wanted only half a second of noon. The bell was about to strike, and it was a matter of absolute and pre-eminent necessity that every body should look well at his watch. It was evident, however, that just at this moment the fellow in the steeple was doing something that he had no business to do with the clock. But as it now began to strike, nobody had any time to attend to his manœuvres, for they had all to count the strokes of the bell as it sounded.

There’s no telling what crazy act of revenge this shameless attack might have inspired in the people, if it weren’t for the fact that it was just half a second away from noon. The bell was about to ring, and it was absolutely crucial that everyone pay close attention to their watches. However, it was clear that at that moment, the guy in the steeple was messing with the clock when he shouldn’t have been. But as it started to chime, no one had time to pay attention to his actions because they all had to count the bell’s strokes as they rang out.

“One!” said the clock.

"One!" said the clock.

“Von!” echoed every little old gentleman in every leather-bottomed arm-chair in Vondervotteimittiss. “Von!” said his watch also; “von!” said the watch of his vrow; and “von!” said the watches of the boys, and the little gilt repeaters on the tails of the cat and pig.

“Von!” echoed every little old gentleman in every leather-bottomed armchair in Vondervotteimittiss. “Von!” said his watch too; “von!” said his wife’s watch; and “von!” said the watches of the boys, and the little gold repeaters on the tails of the cat and pig.

“Two!” continued the big bell; and

“Two!” continued the big bell; and

“Doo!” repeated all the repeaters.

“Doo!” echoed all the repeaters.

“Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten!” said the bell.

“Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten!” rang the bell.

“Dree! Vour! Fibe! Sax! Seben! Aight! Noin! Den!” answered the others.

“Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten!” answered the others.

“Eleven!” said the big one.

"Eleven!" said the big guy.

“Eleben!” assented the little ones.

"Yes!" agreed the little ones.

“Twelve!” said the bell.

"Twenty-four!" said the bell.

“Dvelf!” they replied perfectly satisfied, and dropping their voices.

“Dwell!” they replied, completely satisfied, and lowering their voices.

“Und dvelf it is!” said all the little old gentlemen, putting up their watches. But the big bell had not done with them yet.

“Indeed it is!” said all the little old men, checking their watches. But the big bell still had more to say to them.

“Thirteen!” said he.

"Thirteen!" he said.

“Der Teufel!” gasped the little old gentlemen, turning pale, dropping their pipes, and putting down all their right legs from over their left knees.

“Devil!” gasped the little old gentlemen, turning pale, dropping their pipes, and placing all their right legs down from over their left knees.

“Der Teufel!” groaned they, “Dirteen! Dirteen!!—Mein Gott, it is Dirteen o’clock!!”

“Damn it!” they groaned, “Dirteen! Dirteen!!—My God, it is Dirteen o’clock!!”

Why attempt to describe the terrible scene which ensued? All Vondervotteimittiss flew at once into a lamentable state of uproar.

Why try to describe the awful scene that followed? All Vondervotteimittiss immediately went into a sad state of chaos.

“Vot is cum’d to mein pelly?” roared all the boys—“I’ve been ongry for dis hour!”

“What's wrong with my stomach?” roared all the boys—“I've been hungry for this hour!”

“Vot is com’d to mein kraut?” screamed all the vrows, “It has been done to rags for this hour!”

“What's happened to my cabbage?” screamed all the women, “It has been torn to shreds for this hour!”

“Vot is cum’d to mein pipe?” swore all the little old gentlemen, “Donder and Blitzen; it has been smoked out for dis hour!”—and they filled them up again in a great rage, and sinking back in their arm-chairs, puffed away so fast and so fiercely that the whole valley was immediately filled with impenetrable smoke.

“What's happened to my pipe?” swore all the little old men, “Darn it; it's been smoked out for an hour!”—and they refilled them in a fit of anger, and sinking back into their armchairs, puffed away so quickly and fiercely that the whole valley was soon filled with thick smoke.

Meantime the cabbages all turned very red in the face, and it seemed as if old Nick himself had taken possession of every thing in the shape of a timepiece. The clocks carved upon the furniture took to dancing as if bewitched, while those upon the mantel-pieces could scarcely contain themselves for fury, and kept such a continual striking of thirteen, and such a frisking and wriggling of their pendulums as was really horrible to see. But, worse than all, neither the cats nor the pigs could put up any longer with the behavior of the little repeaters tied to their tails, and resented it by scampering all over the place, scratching and poking, and squeaking and screeching, and caterwauling and squalling, and flying into the faces, and running under the petticoats of the people, and creating altogether the most abominable din and confusion which it is possible for a reasonable person to conceive. And to make matters still more distressing, the rascally little scape-grace in the steeple was evidently exerting himself to the utmost. Every now and then one might catch a glimpse of the scoundrel through the smoke. There he sat in the belfry upon the belfry-man, who was lying flat upon his back. In his teeth the villain held the bell-rope, which he kept jerking about with his head, raising such a clatter that my ears ring again even to think of it. On his lap lay the big fiddle, at which he was scraping, out of all time and tune, with both hands, making a great show, the nincompoop! of playing “Judy O’Flannagan and Paddy O’Rafferty.”

Meanwhile, the cabbages all turned bright red, and it felt like old Nick himself had taken over everything that resembled a clock. The clocks carved into the furniture started dancing as if they were under a spell, while those on the mantelpieces could barely contain their anger, constantly striking thirteen and flailing their pendulums in a way that was truly horrifying to witness. But worst of all, neither the cats nor the pigs could tolerate the antics of the little clocks tied to their tails any longer. They reacted by racing around everywhere, scratching and poking, squeaking and screeching, caterwauling and squalling, flying into people’s faces, and darting under skirts, creating an absolutely dreadful noise and chaos that is beyond what any reasonable person could imagine. To make things even worse, the mischievous little troublemaker in the steeple was clearly doing his best to stir things up. Every now and then, one could catch a glimpse of the rascal through the smoke. There he was, sitting in the belfry on top of the belfry-man, who was lying flat on his back. In his mouth, the villain held the bell-rope, which he kept yanking around with his head, making such a racket that just thinking about it makes my ears ring. On his lap lay the big fiddle, which he was scratching away at, completely out of rhythm and tune, making a big show, the fool! of playing "Judy O’Flannagan and Paddy O’Rafferty."

Affairs being thus miserably situated, I left the place in disgust, and now appeal for aid to all lovers of correct time and fine kraut. Let us proceed in a body to the borough, and restore the ancient order of things in Vondervotteimittiss by ejecting that little fellow from the steeple.

Things being so poorly arranged, I left the place in frustration and now call for help from everyone who values punctuality and good sauerkraut. Let’s all go together to the town and restore the old ways in Vondervotteimittiss by getting that little guy out of the steeple.

LIONIZING

—— all people went
Upon their ten toes in wild wonderment.
                    —Bishop Hall’s Satires.

—— all people walked
On their toes in pure amazement.
                    —Bishop Hall’s Satires.

I am—that is to say I was—a great man; but I am neither the author of Junius nor the man in the mask; for my name, I believe, is Robert Jones, and I was born somewhere in the city of Fum-Fudge.

I am—that is to say I was—a great man; but I am neither the author of Junius nor the man in the mask; for my name, I believe, is Robert Jones, and I was born somewhere in the city of Fum-Fudge.

The first action of my life was the taking hold of my nose with both hands. My mother saw this and called me a genius—my father wept for joy and presented me with a treatise on Nosology. This I mastered before I was breeched.

The first thing I did in life was grab my nose with both hands. My mom saw this and called me a genius—my dad cried tears of joy and gave me a book on Nosology. I figured it out before I was out of diapers.

I now began to feel my way in the science, and soon came to understand that, provided a man had a nose sufficiently conspicuous, he might, by merely following it, arrive at a Lionship. But my attention was not confined to theories alone. Every morning I gave my proboscis a couple of pulls and swallowed a half dozen of drams.

I started to navigate the science and quickly realized that, as long as a person had a noticeable nose, they could reach a Lionship just by following it. But I didn't just focus on theories. Every morning, I tugged on my nose a couple of times and downed half a dozen shots.

When I came of age my father asked me, one day, if I would step with him into his study.

When I turned 18, my dad asked me one day if I would join him in his office.

“My son,” said he, when we were seated, “what is the chief end of your existence?”

“My son,” he said once we were seated, “what is the main purpose of your life?”

“My father,” I answered, “it is the study of Nosology.”

“My dad,” I replied, “it's the study of Nosology.”

“And what, Robert,” he inquired, “is Nosology?”

“And what, Robert,” he asked, “is Nosology?”

“Sir,” I said, “it is the science of Noses.”

“Sir,” I said, “it’s the science of noses.”

“And can you tell me,” he demanded, “what is the meaning of a nose?”

“And can you tell me,” he demanded, “what’s the point of a nose?”

“A nose, my father;” I replied, greatly softened, “has been variously defined by about a thousand different authors.” [Here I pulled out my watch.] “It is now noon or thereabouts—we shall have time enough to get through with them all before midnight. To commence then:—The nose, according to Bartholinus, is that protuberance—that bump—that excrescence—that—”

“A nose, Dad,” I replied, feeling a bit more relaxed, “has been defined in about a thousand different ways by various authors.” [Here I pulled out my watch.] “It’s now around noon—we’ll have plenty of time to get through all of them before midnight. So, to start:—The nose, according to Bartholinus, is that protuberance—that bump—that growth—that—”

“Will do, Robert,” interrupted the good old gentleman. “I am thunderstruck at the extent of your information—I am positively—upon my soul.” [Here he closed his eyes and placed his hand upon his heart.] “Come here!” [Here he took me by the arm.] “Your education may now be considered as finished—it is high time you should scuffle for yourself—and you cannot do a better thing than merely follow your nose—so—so—so—” [Here he kicked me downstairs and out of the door.]—“so get out of my house, and God bless you!”

“Sure thing, Robert,” interrupted the old gentleman. “I’m amazed at how much you know—I really am—honestly.” [Here he closed his eyes and put his hand on his heart.] “Come here!” [Here he took me by the arm.] “Your education is now complete—it’s time for you to fend for yourself—and you can’t do better than just follow your instincts—so—so—so—” [Here he kicked me downstairs and out of the door.]—“so get out of my house, and take care!”

As I felt within me the divine afflatus, I considered this accident rather fortunate than otherwise. I resolved to be guided by the paternal advice. I determined to follow my nose. I gave it a pull or two upon the spot, and wrote a pamphlet on Nosology forthwith.

As I felt the creative inspiration within me, I saw this situation as more of a blessing than a curse. I decided to take my father's advice. I chose to trust my instincts. I tugged at them a bit right then and there and quickly wrote a pamphlet on Nosology.

All Fum-Fudge was in an uproar.

All Fum-Fudge was in turmoil.

“Wonderful genius!” said the Quarterly.

"Awesome genius!" said the Quarterly.

“Superb physiologist!” said the Westminster.

"Awesome physiologist!" said the Westminster.

“Clever fellow!” said the Foreign.

“Smart guy!” said the Foreign.

“Fine writer!” said the Edinburgh.

“Great writer!” said the Edinburgh.

“Profound thinker!” said the Dublin.

"Deep thinker!" said the Dublin.

“Great man!” said Bentley.

“Awesome guy!” said Bentley.

“Divine soul!” said Fraser.

“Divine spirit!” said Fraser.

“One of us!” said Blackwood.

“One of us!” Blackwood exclaimed.

“Who can he be?” said Mrs. Bas-Bleu.

“Who could he be?” said Mrs. Bas-Bleu.

“What can he be?” said big Miss Bas-Bleu.

“What could he be?” said big Miss Bas-Bleu.

“Where can he be?” said little Miss Bas-Bleu.—But I paid these people no attention whatever—I just stepped into the shop of an artist.

“Where could he be?” asked little Miss Bas-Bleu.—But I didn’t pay any attention to them—I just walked into the artist's shop.

The Duchess of Bless-my-Soul was sitting for her portrait; the Marquis of So-and-So was holding the Duchess’ poodle; the Earl of This-and-That was flirting with her salts; and his Royal Highness of Touch-me-Not was leaning upon the back of her chair.

The Duchess of Bless-my-Soul was posing for her portrait; the Marquis of So-and-So was holding the Duchess's poodle; the Earl of This-and-That was flirting with her smelling salts; and His Royal Highness of Touch-me-Not was leaning on the back of her chair.

I approached the artist and turned up my nose.

I walked up to the artist and wrinkled my nose in disdain.

“Oh, beautiful!” sighed her Grace.

“Oh, gorgeous!” sighed her Grace.

“Oh my!” lisped the Marquis.

“Oh my!” sighed the Marquis.

“Oh, shocking!” groaned the Earl.

“Oh, shocking!” sighed the Earl.

“Oh, abominable!” growled his Royal Highness.

“Oh, horrible!” growled his Royal Highness.

“What will you take for it?” asked the artist.

“What do you want for it?” asked the artist.

“For his nose!” shouted her Grace.

“For his nose!” shouted her Grace.

“A thousand pounds,” said I, sitting down.

“A thousand pounds,” I said, sitting down.

“A thousand pounds?” inquired the artist, musingly.

“A thousand pounds?” the artist asked, thoughtfully.

“A thousand pounds,” said I.

"One thousand pounds," I said.

“Beautiful!” said he, entranced.

“Beautiful!” he said, entranced.

“A thousand pounds,” said I.

“A thousand bucks,” I said.

“Do you warrant it?” he asked, turning the nose to the light.

“Do you guarantee it?” he asked, turning the nose toward the light.

“I do,” said I, blowing it well.

“I do,” I said, blowing it well.

“Is it quite original?” he inquired; touching it with reverence.

“Is it really original?” he asked, touching it with awe.

“Humph!” said I, twisting it to one side.

“Humph!” I said, turning it to one side.

“Has no copy been taken?” he demanded, surveying it through a microscope.

“Is there no copy made?” he asked, examining it under a microscope.

“None,” said I, turning it up.

“None,” I said, flipping it over.

“Admirable!” he ejaculated, thrown quite off his guard by the beauty of the manœuvre.

"Impressive!" he exclaimed, completely caught off guard by the beauty of the maneuver.

“A thousand pounds,” said I.

“A thousand bucks,” said I.

“A thousand pounds?” said he.

"A thousand pounds?" he said.

“Precisely,” said I.

"Exactly," I replied.

“A thousand pounds?” said he.

"One thousand pounds?" he said.

“Just so,” said I.

“Exactly,” I said.

“You shall have them,” said he. “What a piece of virtu!” So he drew me a check upon the spot, and took a sketch of my nose. I engaged rooms in Jermyn street, and sent her Majesty the ninety-ninth edition of the “Nosology,” with a portrait of the proboscis.—That sad little rake, the Prince of Wales, invited me to dinner.

“You can have them,” he said. “What a work of art!” So he wrote me a check right there and sketched my nose. I booked rooms on Jermyn Street and sent Her Majesty the ninety-ninth edition of the “Nosology,” along with a portrait of the nose. That sad little rogue, the Prince of Wales, invited me to dinner.

We were all lions and recherchés.

We were all lions and sought after.

There was a modern Platonist. He quoted Porphyry, Iamblicus, Plotinus, Proclus, Hierocles, Maximus Tyrius, and Syrianus.

There was a contemporary Platonist. He referenced Porphyry, Iamblicus, Plotinus, Proclus, Hierocles, Maximus Tyrius, and Syrianus.

There was a human-perfectibility man. He quoted Turgôt, Price, Priestly, Condorcêt, De Staël, and the “Ambitious Student in Ill Health.”

There was a man who believed in human perfectibility. He referenced Turgôt, Price, Priestly, Condorcët, De Staël, and the “Ambitious Student in Ill Health.”

There was Sir Positive Paradox. He observed that all fools were philosophers, and that all philosophers were fools.

There was Sir Positive Paradox. He noticed that all fools were philosophers, and that all philosophers were fools.

There was Æstheticus Ethix. He spoke of fire, unity, and atoms; bi-part and pre-existent soul; affinity and discord; primitive intelligence and homoömeria.

There was Æstheticus Ethix. He talked about fire, unity, and atoms; the dual nature and pre-existing soul; connection and conflict; basic intelligence and homoömeria.

There was Theologos Theology. He talked of Eusebius and Arianus; heresy and the Council of Nice; Puseyism and consubstantialism; Homousios and Homouioisios.

There was Theologos Theology. He discussed Eusebius and Arianus; heresy and the Council of Nice; Puseyism and consubstantialism; Homousios and Homouioisios.

There was Fricassée from the Rocher de Cancale. He mentioned Muriton of red tongue; cauliflowers with velouté sauce; veal à la St. Menehoult; marinade à la St. Florentin; and orange jellies en mosaïques.

There was fricassee from the Rocher de Cancale. He talked about muriton with red sauce; cauliflower with velouté sauce; veal à la St. Menehoult; marinade à la St. Florentin; and orange jellies en mosaïques.

There was Bibulus O’Bumper. He touched upon Latour and Markbrünnen; upon Mousseux and Chambertin; upon Richbourg and St. George; upon Haubrion, Leonville, and Medoc; upon Barac and Preignac; upon Grâve, upon Sauterne, upon Lafitte, and upon St. Peray. He shook his head at Clos de Vougeot, and told, with his eyes shut, the difference between Sherry and Amontillado.

There was Bibulus O’Bumper. He talked about Latour and Markbrünnen; about Mousseux and Chambertin; about Richbourg and St. George; about Haubrion, Leonville, and Medoc; about Barac and Preignac; about Grâve, about Sauterne, about Lafitte, and about St. Peray. He shook his head at Clos de Vougeot and, with his eyes closed, explained the difference between Sherry and Amontillado.

There was Signor Tintontintino from Florence. He discoursed of Cimabué, Arpino, Carpaccio, and Argostino—of the gloom of Caravaggio, of the amenity of Albano, of the colors of Titian, of the frows of Rubens, and of the waggeries of Jan Steen.

There was Signor Tintontintino from Florence. He talked about Cimabue, Arpino, Carpaccio, and Argostino—about the darkness of Caravaggio, the charm of Albano, the colors of Titian, the frowns of Rubens, and the playful antics of Jan Steen.

There was the President of the Fum-Fudge University. He was of opinion that the moon was called Bendis in Thrace, Bubastis in Egypt, Dian in Rome, and Artemis in Greece.

There was the President of Fum-Fudge University. He believed that the moon was named Bendis in Thrace, Bubastis in Egypt, Dian in Rome, and Artemis in Greece.

There was a Grand Turk from Stamboul. He could not help thinking that the angels were horses, cocks, and bulls; that somebody in the sixth heaven had seventy thousand heads; and that the earth was supported by a sky-blue cow with an incalculable number of green horns.

There was a Grand Turk from Istanbul. He couldn’t stop thinking that the angels were horses, roosters, and bulls; that someone in the sixth heaven had seventy thousand heads; and that the earth was held up by a sky-blue cow with countless green horns.

There was Delphinus Polyglott. He told us what had become of the eighty-three lost tragedies of Æschylus; of the fifty-four orations of Isæus; of the three hundred and ninety-one speeches of Lysias; of the hundred and eighty treatises of Theophrastus; of the eighth book of the conic sections of Apollonius; of Pindar’s hymns and dithyrambics; and of the five and forty tragedies of Homer Junior.

There was Delphinus Polyglott. He shared what had happened to the eighty-three lost tragedies of Aeschylus, the fifty-four speeches of Isaeus, the three hundred and ninety-one orations of Lysias, the one hundred and eighty writings of Theophrastus, the eighth book of the conic sections of Apollonius, Pindar’s hymns and dithyrambs, and the forty-five tragedies of Homer Junior.

There was Ferdinand Fitz-Fossillus Feltspar. He informed us all about internal fires and tertiary formations; about aëriforms, fluidiforms, and solidiforms; about quartz and marl; about schist and schorl; about gypsum and trap; about talc and calc; about blende and horn-blende; about mica-slate and pudding-stone; about cyanite and lepidolite; about hematite and tremolite; about antimony and calcedony; about manganese and whatever you please.

There was Ferdinand Fitz-Fossillus Feltspar. He told us all about internal fires and how rocks are formed; about gases, liquids, and solids; about quartz and marl; about schist and schorl; about gypsum and trap rock; about talc and calc; about blende and hornblende; about mica slate and pudding stone; about cyanite and lepidolite; about hematite and tremolite; about antimony and chalcedony; about manganese and anything else you can think of.

There was myself. I spoke of myself;—of myself, of myself, of myself;—of Nosology, of my pamphlet, and of myself. I turned up my nose, and I spoke of myself.

There was me. I talked about myself;—about myself, about myself, about myself;—about Nosology, about my pamphlet, and about myself. I wrinkled my nose, and I talked about myself.

“Marvellous clever man!” said the Prince.

“Fantastic smart guy!” said the Prince.

“Superb!” said his guests;—and next morning her Grace of Bless-my-Soul paid me a visit.

“Awesome!” said his guests;—and the next morning, her Grace of Bless-my-Soul came to see me.

“Will you go to Almack’s, pretty creature?” she said, tapping me under the chin.

“Are you going to Almack’s, beautiful?” she said, tapping me under the chin.

“Upon honor,” said I.

"On my honor," I said.

“Nose and all?” she asked.

"Nose and everything?" she asked.

“As I live,” I replied.

“As I live,” I said.

“Here then is a card, my life. Shall I say you will be there?”

“Here’s a card, my life. Should I say you’ll be there?”

“Dear Duchess, with all my heart.”

“Dear Duchess, with all my heart.”

“Pshaw, no!—but with all your nose?”

“Come on, no!—but with all your attitude?”

“Every bit of it, my love,” said I:—so I gave it a twist or two, and found myself at Almack’s. The rooms were crowded to suffocation.

“Every bit of it, my love,” I said:—so I gave it a twist or two, and found myself at Almack’s. The rooms were packed to the brim.

“He is coming!” said somebody on the staircase.

"He's coming!" someone said on the staircase.

“He is coming!” said somebody farther up.

“He's coming!” someone shouted from further up.

“He is coming!” said somebody farther still.

“He's coming!” said someone further away.

“He is come!” exclaimed the Duchess. “He is come, the little love!”—and, seizing me firmly by both hands, she kissed me thrice upon the nose. A marked sensation immediately ensued.

“He's here!” exclaimed the Duchess. “He's here, the little love!”—and, grabbing me tightly by both hands, she kissed me three times on the nose. A noticeable feeling instantly followed.

Diavolo!” cried Count Capricornutti.

Diavolo!” exclaimed Count Capricornutti.

Dios guarda!” muttered Don Stiletto.

God save!” muttered Don Stiletto.

Mille tonnerres!” ejaculated the Prince de Grenouille.

Holy thunder!” exclaimed the Prince de Grenouille.

Tousand teufel!” growled the Elector of Bluddennuff.

Thousand devils!” growled the Elector of Bluddennuff.

It was not to be borne. I grew angry. I turned short upon Bluddennuff.

It couldn’t be tolerated. I got angry. I turned abruptly to Bluddennuff.

“Sir!” said I to him, “you are a baboon.”

“Sir!” I said to him, “you’re a baboon.”

“Sir,” he replied, after a pause, “Donner und Blitzen!

“Sir,” he responded, after a moment, “Thunder and Lightning!

This was all that could be desired. We exchanged cards. At Chalk-Farm, the next morning, I shot off his nose—and then called upon my friends.

This was everything we could have wanted. We swapped cards. The next morning at Chalk-Farm, I shot off his nose—and then visited my friends.

Bête!” said the first.

"Bête!" said the first.

“Fool!” said the second.

"Idiot!" said the second.

“Dolt!” said the third.

"Idiot!" said the third.

“Ass!” said the fourth.

“Dude!” said the fourth.

“Ninny!” said the fifth.

“Ninny!” said the fifth.

“Noodle!” said the sixth.

“Noodle!” said the sixth one.

“Be off!” said the seventh.

"Get lost!" said the seventh.

At all this I felt mortified, and so called upon my father.

At all this, I felt embarrassed, so I went to talk to my father.

“Father,” I asked, “what is the chief end of my existence?”

“Dad,” I asked, “what’s the main purpose of my life?”

“My son,” he replied, “it is still the study of Nosology; but in hitting the Elector upon the nose you have overshot your mark. You have a fine nose, it is true; but then Bluddennuff has none. You are damned, and he has become the hero of the day. I grant you that in Fum-Fudge the greatness of a lion is in proportion to the size of his proboscis—but, good heavens! there is no competing with a lion who has no proboscis at all.”

“My son,” he replied, “it’s still all about studying diseases; but by hitting the Elector on the nose, you’ve missed the point. You have a nice nose, that’s true; but Bluddennuff doesn’t have one at all. You’re in trouble, and he’s become the hero of the day. I admit that in Fum-Fudge, a lion’s greatness is based on the size of his nose—but, good grief! there’s no competing with a lion who doesn’t have a nose at all.”

X-ING A PARAGRAB

As it is well known that the ‘wise men’ came ‘from the East,’ and as Mr. Touch-and-go Bullet-head came from the East, it follows that Mr. Bullet-head was a wise man; and if collateral proof of the matter be needed, here we have it—Mr. B. was an editor. Irascibility was his sole foible, for in fact the obstinacy of which men accused him was anything but his foible, since he justly considered it his forte. It was his strong point—his virtue; and it would have required all the logic of a Brownson to convince him that it was ‘anything else.’

As everyone knows, the ‘wise men’ came ‘from the East,’ and since Mr. Touch-and-go Bullet-head also came from the East, we can conclude that Mr. Bullet-head was a wise man; and if any further proof is needed, here it is—Mr. B. was an editor. His only flaw was his irritable nature, because the stubbornness that people accused him of was anything but a flaw in his eyes; he saw it as his strength. It was his strong point—his virtue; and it would have taken all the reasoning of a Brownson to persuade him that it was ‘anything else.’

I have shown that Touch-and-go Bullet-head was a wise man; and the only occasion on which he did not prove infallible, was when, abandoning that legitimate home for all wise men, the East, he migrated to the city of Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis, or some place of a similar title, out West.

I have shown that Touch-and-go Bullet-head was a wise man; and the only time he wasn’t correct was when, leaving his rightful home for all wise men, the East, he moved to a city called Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis, or something with a similar name, out West.

I must do him the justice to say, however, that when he made up his mind finally to settle in that town, it was under the impression that no newspaper, and consequently no editor, existed in that particular section of the country. In establishing ‘The Tea-Pot’ he expected to have the field all to himself. I feel confident he never would have dreamed of taking up his residence in Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis had he been aware that, in Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis, there lived a gentleman named John Smith (if I rightly remember), who for many years had there quietly grown fat in editing and publishing the ‘Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis Gazette.’ It was solely, therefore, on account of having been misinformed, that Mr. Bullet-head found himself in Alex—— suppose we call it Nopolis, ‘for short’—but, as he did find himself there, he determined to keep up his character for obst—for firmness, and remain. So remain he did; and he did more; he unpacked his press, type, etc., etc., rented an office exactly opposite to that of the ‘Gazette,’ and, on the third morning after his arrival, issued the first number of ‘The Alexan’—that is to say, of ‘The Nopolis Tea-Pot’—as nearly as I can recollect, this was the name of the new paper.

I have to give him credit for one thing: when he finally decided to settle in that town, he thought there weren’t any newspapers, and thus no editors, in that area. By starting ‘The Tea-Pot,’ he figured he’d have the place to himself. I'm sure he wouldn’t have even considered living in Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis if he had known there was a guy named John Smith (if I remember correctly) who had been happily running the ‘Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis Gazette’ for years. So, Mr. Bullet-head ended up in Alex—let’s just call it Nopolis for short—because he was misinformed. However, since he found himself there, he decided to uphold his reputation for being stubborn and stay put. And stay he did; he also unpacked his printing press, type, and everything else, rented an office right across from the ‘Gazette,’ and on the third morning after he got there, he published the first issue of ‘The Alexan’—or rather, ‘The Nopolis Tea-Pot’—as far as I can remember, that was the name of the new paper.

The leading article, I must admit, was brilliant—not to say severe. It was especially bitter about things in general—and as for the editor of ‘The Gazette,’ he was torn all to pieces in particular. Some of Bullet-head’s remarks were really so fiery that I have always, since that time, been forced to look upon John Smith, who is still alive, in the light of a salamander. I cannot pretend to give all the ‘Tea-Pot’s’ paragraphs verbatim, but one of them runs thus:

The main article, I have to say, was outstanding—not to mention harsh. It was particularly harsh about everything in general—and as for the editor of ‘The Gazette,’ he was completely shredded in particular. Some of Bullet-head’s comments were so fiery that ever since then, I’ve had to see John Smith, who is still alive, as a kind of salamander. I can't claim to give all of the ‘Tea-Pot’s’ paragraphs word for word, but one of them goes like this:

‘Oh, yes!—Oh, we perceive! Oh, no doubt! The editor over the way is a genius—O, my! Oh, goodness, gracious!—what is this world coming to? Oh, tempora! Oh, Moses!’

‘Oh, yes!—Oh, we see! Oh, no doubt! The editor across the street is a genius—Oh my! Oh goodness gracious!—what is this world coming to? Oh, times! Oh, Moses!’

A philippic at once so caustic and so classical, alighted like a bombshell among the hitherto peaceful citizens of Nopolis. Groups of excited individuals gathered at the corners of the streets. Every one awaited, with heartfelt anxiety, the reply of the dignified Smith. Next morning it appeared as follows:

A sharp and classic criticism dropped like a bombshell among the previously calm citizens of Nopolis. Groups of excited people gathered at the street corners. Everyone anxiously awaited the dignified Smith's response. The next morning, it appeared as follows:

‘We quote from “The Tea-Pot” of yesterday the subjoined paragraph: “Oh, yes! Oh, we perceive! Oh, no doubt! Oh, my! Oh, goodness! Oh, tempora! Oh, Moses!” Why, the fellow is all O! That accounts for his reasoning in a circle, and explains why there is neither beginning nor end to him, nor to anything he says. We really do not believe the vagabond can write a word that hasn’t an O in it. Wonder if this O-ing is a habit of his? By-the-by, he came away from Down-East in a great hurry. Wonder if he O’s as much there as he does here? “O! it is pitiful.”’

‘We quote from “The Tea-Pot” of yesterday the following paragraph: “Oh, yes! Oh, we get it! Oh, no doubt! Oh my! Oh wow! Oh, what times! Oh, goodness!” Seriously, the guy is all about the O! That explains his circular reasoning and why there’s neither a beginning nor an end to him or anything he says. We really don’t believe the guy can write a single word that doesn’t have an O in it. I wonder if this O-ing is a habit of his? By the way, he rushed out from Down-East. I wonder if he O’s as much there as he does here? “O! it is pitiful.”’

The indignation of Mr. Bullet-head at these scandalous insinuations, I shall not attempt to describe. On the eel-skinning principle, however, he did not seem to be so much incensed at the attack upon his integrity as one might have imagined. It was the sneer at his style that drove him to desperation. What!—he Touch-and-go Bullet-head!—not able to write a word without an O in it! He would soon let the jackanapes see that he was mistaken. Yes! he would let him see how much he was mistaken, the puppy! He, Touch-and-go Bullet-head, of Frogpondium, would let Mr. John Smith perceive that he, Bullet-head, could indite, if it so pleased him, a whole paragraph—aye! a whole article—in which that contemptible vowel should not once—not even once—make its appearance. But no;—that would be yielding a point to the said John Smith. He, Bullet-head, would make no alteration in his style, to suit the caprices of any Mr. Smith in Christendom. Perish so vile a thought! The O forever; He would persist in the O. He would be as O-wy as O-wy could be.

Mr. Bullet-head's anger at these outrageous suggestions is beyond description. However, true to form, he didn't seem as upset about the attack on his integrity as one might expect. It was the mockery of his writing style that really pushed him over the edge. What?—he, Touch-and-go Bullet-head!—unable to write a single word without an O in it? He would soon show that fool how wrong he was. Yes! He would prove just how mistaken that pup was! He, Touch-and-go Bullet-head from Frogpondium, would make Mr. John Smith see that he, Bullet-head, could write, if he wanted, an entire paragraph—yes! a whole article—without that pathetic vowel even once making an appearance. But no; that would mean giving in to John Smith. He, Bullet-head, wouldn’t change his style to cater to the whims of any Mr. Smith in the world. Such a disgusting idea should perish! The O forever; he would stick to the O. He would be as O-mazing as O-mazing could be.

Burning with the chivalry of this determination, the great Touch-and-go, in the next ‘Tea-Pot,’ came out merely with this simple but resolute paragraph, in reference to this unhappy affair:

Burning with the chivalry of this determination, the great Touch-and-go, in the next ‘Tea-Pot,’ came out merely with this simple but resolute paragraph, in reference to this unhappy affair:

‘The editor of the “Tea-Pot” has the honor of advising the editor of the “Gazette” that he (the “Tea-Pot”) will take an opportunity in tomorrow morning’s paper, of convincing him (the “Gazette”) that he (the “Tea-Pot”) both can and will be his own master, as regards style;—he (the “Tea-Pot”) intending to show him (the “Gazette”) the supreme, and indeed the withering contempt with which the criticism of him (the “Gazette”) inspires the independent bosom of him (the “Tea-Pot”) by composing for the especial gratification (?) of him (the “Gazette”) a leading article, of some extent, in which the beautiful vowel—the emblem of Eternity—yet so offensive to the hyper-exquisite delicacy of him (the “Gazette”) shall most certainly not be avoided by his (the “Gazette’s”) most obedient, humble servant, the “Tea-Pot.” “So much for Buckingham!”’

The editor of the “Tea-Pot” is proud to inform the editor of the “Gazette” that he (the “Tea-Pot”) will take the chance in tomorrow morning’s paper to prove to him (the “Gazette”) that he (the “Tea-Pot”) can and will be his own master when it comes to style;—he (the “Tea-Pot”) plans to demonstrate the supreme, and honestly the withering contempt that the criticism from him (the “Gazette”) inspires in the independent spirit of him (the “Tea-Pot”) by writing for the special pleasure (?) of him (the “Gazette”) a significant leading article, in which the beautiful vowel—the symbol of Eternity—will definitely not be avoided by his (the “Gazette’s”) most obedient, humble servant, the “Tea-Pot.” “So much for Buckingham!”

In fulfilment of the awful threat thus darkly intimated rather than decidedly enunciated, the great Bullet-head, turning a deaf ear to all entreaties for ‘copy,’ and simply requesting his foreman to ‘go to the d——l,’ when he (the foreman) assured him (the ‘Tea-Pot’!) that it was high time to ‘go to press’: turning a deaf ear to everything, I say, the great Bullet-head sat up until day-break, consuming the midnight oil, and absorbed in the composition of the really unparalleled paragraph, which follows:—

In response to the ominous threat that was more suggested than clearly stated, the great Bullet-head ignored all requests for 'copy' and bluntly told his foreman to 'go to hell' when the foreman (the 'Tea-Pot'!) insisted that it was time to 'go to press.' Ignoring everything, I say, the great Bullet-head stayed up until dawn, burning the midnight oil, and focused on crafting the truly unique paragraph that follows:—

‘So ho, John! how now? Told you so, you know. Don’t crow, another time, before you’re out of the woods! Does your mother know you’re out? Oh, no, no!—so go home at once, now, John, to your odious old woods of Concord! Go home to your woods, old owl—go! You won’t! Oh, poh, poh, John don’t do so! You’ve got to go, you know! So go at once, and don’t go slow, for nobody owns you here, you know! Oh! John, John, if you don’t go you’re no homo—no! You’re only a fowl, an owl; a cow, a sow; a doll, a poll; a poor, old, good-for-nothing-to-nobody, log, dog, hog, or frog, come out of a Concord bog. Cool, now—cool! Do be cool, you fool! None of your crowing, old cock! Don’t frown so—don’t! Don’t hollo, nor howl nor growl, nor bow-wow-wow! Good Lord, John, how you do look! Told you so, you know—but stop rolling your goose of an old poll about so, and go and drown your sorrows in a bowl!’

"Hey, John! What’s up? I told you so. Don’t celebrate just yet, wait until you’re in the clear! Does your mom know you’re out? Oh, no, no! So go home right now, John, back to those awful old woods of Concord! Head back to your woods, old owl—go! You won’t? Oh, come on, John, don’t act like that! You have to go, you know! So leave immediately, and don’t take your time, because nobody wants you here! Oh! John, if you don’t leave, you’re not really a man—no! You’re just a bird, an owl; a cow, a sow; a doll, a fool; a poor, old, useless log, dog, hog, or frog, coming out of a Concord swamp. Chill out—chill! Please be cool, you idiot! No more crowing, old rooster! Don’t frown like that—stop it! Don’t shout, or howl, or growl, or bark! Good Lord, John, look at you! I told you so, but stop rolling your ridiculous head around and go drown your sorrows in a drink!"

Exhausted, very naturally, by so stupendous an effort, the great Touch-and-go could attend to nothing farther that night. Firmly, composedly, yet with an air of conscious power, he handed his MS. to the devil in waiting, and then, walking leisurely home, retired, with ineffable dignity to bed.

Exhausted, understandably, from such an incredible effort, the great Touch-and-go could focus on nothing else that night. Calmly, but with a sense of confidence, he handed his manuscript to the waiting devil, and then, strolling home, went to bed with undeniable dignity.

Meantime the devil, to whom the copy was entrusted, ran up stairs to his ‘case,’ in an unutterable hurry, and forthwith made a commencement at ‘setting’ the MS. ‘up.’

Meanwhile, the devil, to whom the copy was given, rushed upstairs to his 'case' in a total frenzy and immediately started 'setting' the manuscript 'up.'

In the first place, of course,—as the opening word was ‘So,’—he made a plunge into the capital S hole and came out in triumph with a capital S. Elated by this success, he immediately threw himself upon the little-o box with a blindfold impetuosity—but who shall describe his horror when his fingers came up without the anticipated letter in their clutch? who shall paint his astonishment and rage at perceiving, as he rubbed his knuckles, that he had been only thumping them to no purpose, against the bottom of an empty box. Not a single little-o was in the little-o hole; and, glancing fearfully at the capital-O partition, he found that, to his extreme terror, in a precisely similar predicament. Awe-stricken, his first impulse was to rush to the foreman.

First of all, of course,—since the opening word was 'So,'—he dove into the capital S hole and came out triumphantly with a capital S. Excited by this win, he immediately launched himself at the little-o box with reckless abandon—but who can describe his horror when his fingers came up empty, without the letter he was expecting? Who can capture his shock and anger as he rubbed his knuckles, realizing he had just been banging them uselessly against the bottom of an empty box? Not a single little-o was in the little-o hole; and, glancing nervously at the capital-O partition, he found, to his utter dismay, that it was in exactly the same situation. Awestruck, his first instinct was to run to the foreman.

‘Sir!’ said he, gasping for breath, ‘I can’t never set up nothing without no o’s.’

‘Sir!’ he said, gasping for breath, ‘I can’t set up anything without any o’s.’

‘What do you mean by that?’ growled the foreman, who was in a very ill humor at being kept so late.

‘What do you mean by that?’ growled the foreman, who was in a really bad mood about being kept so late.

‘Why, sir, there beant an o in the office, neither a big un nor a little un!’

‘Why, sir, there isn't an O in the office, neither a big one nor a little one!’

‘What—what the d—l has become of all that were in the case?’

‘What—what the hell has happened to everyone who was in the case?’

‘I don’t know, sir,’ said the boy, ‘but one of them ere “G’zette” devils is bin prowling ’bout here all night, and I spect he’s gone and cabbaged ‘em every one.’

‘I don’t know, sir,’ said the boy, ‘but one of those “G’zette” guys has been lurking around here all night, and I think he’s gone and grabbed them all.’

‘Dod rot him! I haven’t a doubt of it,’ replied the foreman, getting purple with rage ‘but I tell you what you do, Bob, that’s a good boy—you go over the first chance you get and hook every one of their i’s and (d——n them!) their izzards.’

‘Damn him! I have no doubt about it,’ replied the foreman, turning purple with rage. ‘But here’s what you should do, Bob, that’s a good kid—you go over there at the first opportunity and check every one of their i’s and (damn them!) their izzards.’

‘Jist so,’ replied Bob, with a wink and a frown—‘I’ll be into ‘em, I’ll let ‘em know a thing or two; but in de meantime, that ere paragrab? Mus go in to-night, you know—else there’ll be the d—l to pay, and—’

‘Just so,’ replied Bob, with a wink and a frown—‘I’ll get to them, I’ll show them a thing or two; but in the meantime, that paragraph? It has to go in tonight, you know—otherwise, there’ll be hell to pay, and—’

‘And not a bit of pitch hot,’ interrupted the foreman, with a deep sigh, and an emphasis on the ‘bit.’ ‘Is it a long paragraph, Bob?’

‘And not a bit of pitch hot,’ interrupted the foreman, with a deep sigh, and an emphasis on the ‘bit.’ ‘Is it a long paragraph, Bob?’

‘Shouldn’t call it a wery long paragrab,’ said Bob.

‘Shouldn’t call it a very long paragraph,’ said Bob.

‘Ah, well, then! do the best you can with it! We must get to press,’ said the foreman, who was over head and ears in work; ‘just stick in some other letter for o; nobody’s going to read the fellow’s trash anyhow.’

‘Oh, well! Just do your best with it! We need to get it to press,’ said the foreman, who was swamped with work; ‘just throw in some other letter for o; nobody's going to read that guy’s nonsense anyway.’

‘Wery well,’ replied Bob, ‘here goes it!’ and off he hurried to his case, muttering as he went: ‘Considdeble vell, them ere expressions, perticcler for a man as doesn’t swar. So I’s to gouge out all their eyes, eh? and d-n all their gizzards! Vell! this here’s the chap as is just able for to do it.’ The fact is that although Bob was but twelve years old and four feet high, he was equal to any amount of fight, in a small way.

‘Alright,’ replied Bob, ‘here goes!’ and he rushed off to his case, muttering to himself: ‘Pretty good, those expressions, especially for a guy who doesn’t curse. So I’m supposed to gouge out all their eyes, huh? and damn all their guts! Well! this is the guy who can do it.’ The truth is that although Bob was only twelve years old and four feet tall, he was ready for any kind of fight, in a small way.

The exigency here described is by no means of rare occurrence in printing-offices; and I cannot tell how to account for it, but the fact is indisputable, that when the exigency does occur, it almost always happens that x is adopted as a substitute for the letter deficient. The true reason, perhaps, is that x is rather the most superabundant letter in the cases, or at least was so in the old times—long enough to render the substitution in question an habitual thing with printers. As for Bob, he would have considered it heretical to employ any other character, in a case of this kind, than the x to which he had been accustomed.

The situation described here is not at all uncommon in printing shops; I can’t explain why, but the fact is that when it does happen, it almost always turns out that x is used as a substitute for the missing letter. The real reason might be that x is one of the most frequently used letters in the type cases, or at least it was back in the day—long enough for printers to get used to making this substitution. As for Bob, he would have seen it as heresy to use any character other than the x he was familiar with in situations like this.

‘I shell have to x this ere paragrab,’ said he to himself, as he read it over in astonishment, ‘but it’s jest about the awfulest o-wy paragrab I ever did see’: so x it he did, unflinchingly, and to press it went x-ed.

‘I will have to fix this paragraph,’ he said to himself, as he read it over in disbelief, ‘but it’s just about the worst paragraph I’ve ever seen’: so fix it he did, without hesitation, and to publish it went amended.

Next morning the population of Nopolis were taken all aback by reading in ‘The Tea-Pot,’ the following extraordinary leader:

Next morning, the people of Nopolis were completely shocked to read the following extraordinary editorial in 'The Tea-Pot':

‘Sx hx, Jxhn! hxw nxw? Txld yxu sx, yxu knxw. Dxn’t crxw, anxther time, befxre yxu’re xut xf the wxxds! Dxes yxur mxther knxw yxu’re xut? Xh, nx, nx!—sx gx hxme at xnce, nxw, Jxhn, tx yxur xdixus xld wxxds xf Cxncxrd! Gx hxme tx yxur wxxds, xld xwl,—gx! Yxu wxn’t? Xh, pxh, pxh, Jxhn, dxn’t dx sx! Yxu’ve gxt tx gx, yxu knxw, sx gx at xnce, and dxn’t gx slxw; fxr nxbxdy xwns yxu here, yxu knxw. Xh, Jxhn, Jxhn, Jxhn, if yxu dxn’t gx yxu’re nx hxmx—nx! Yxu’re xnly a fxwl, an xwl; a cxw, a sxw; a dxll, a pxll; a pxxr xld gxxd-fxr-nxthing-tx-nxbxdy, lxg, dxg, hxg, xr frxg, cxme xut xf a Cxncxrd bxg. Cxxl, nxw—cxxl! Dx be cxxl, yxu fxxl! Nxne xf yxur crxwing, xld cxck! Dxn’t frxwn sx—dxn’t! Dxn’t hxllx, nxr hxwl, nxr grxwl, nxr bxw-wxw-wxw! Gxxd Lxrd, Jxhn, hxw yxu dx lxxk! Txld yxu sx, yxu knxw,—but stxp rxlling yxur gxxse xf an xld pxll abxut sx, and gx and drxwn yxur sxrrxws in a bxwl!’

‘Hey hey, John! How’s it going? Told you so, you know. Don’t worry, another time, before you’re out of the woods! Does your mother know you’re out? Oh, no, no!—so get home at once, now, John, to your ridiculous old woods of Concord! Go home to your woods, old fool,—go! You won’t? Oh, please, please, John, don’t do that! You’ve got to go, you know, so go at once, and don’t go slow; for nobody wants you here, you know. Oh, John, John, John, if you don’t go you’re not home—no! You’re only a fool, an old fool; a cow, a sow; a dull, a pall; a poor old good-for-nothing-to-nobody, log, dog, hag, or frog, come out of a Concord bog. Cool, now—cool! Don’t be cool, you fool! None of your crowing, old cock! Don’t frown so—don’t! Don’t holler, nor howl, nor growl, nor bow-wow-wow! Good Lord, John, how you do look! Told you so, you know,—but stop rolling your eyes like an old pal about so, and go and drown your sorrows in a bowl!’

The uproar occasioned by this mystical and cabalistical article, is not to be conceived. The first definite idea entertained by the populace was, that some diabolical treason lay concealed in the hieroglyphics; and there was a general rush to Bullet-head’s residence, for the purpose of riding him on a rail; but that gentleman was nowhere to be found. He had vanished, no one could tell how; and not even the ghost of him has ever been seen since.

The uproar caused by this mysterious and cryptic article is beyond imagination. The first clear thought among the people was that some evil betrayal was hidden in the hieroglyphics; and there was a mad dash to Bullet-head’s house, all aimed at punishing him. But he was nowhere to be found. He had disappeared without a trace, and not even a whisper of him has been heard since.

Unable to discover its legitimate object, the popular fury at length subsided; leaving behind it, by way of sediment, quite a medley of opinion about this unhappy affair.

Unable to find its true purpose, the public outrage eventually faded away, leaving behind a confusing mix of opinions about this unfortunate situation.

One gentleman thought the whole an X-ellent joke.

One guy thought it was a great joke.

Another said that, indeed, Bullet-head had shown much X-uberance of fancy.

Another said that, in fact, Bullet-head had displayed a lot of creative enthusiasm.

A third admitted him X-entric, but no more.

A third one admitted he was eccentric, but not beyond that.

A fourth could only suppose it the Yankee’s design to X-press, in a general way, his X-asperation.

A fourth could only assume it was the Yankee’s intention to express, in a general way, his frustration.

‘Say, rather, to set an X-ample to posterity,’ suggested a fifth.

"Say, instead, to set an example for future generations," suggested a fifth.

That Bullet-head had been driven to an extremity, was clear to all; and in fact, since that editor could not be found, there was some talk about lynching the other one.

That Bullet-head had been pushed to his limit, which was obvious to everyone; and in fact, since that editor was missing, there was some discussion about lynching the other one.

The more common conclusion, however, was that the affair was, simply, X-traordinary and in-X-plicable. Even the town mathematician confessed that he could make nothing of so dark a problem. X, everybody knew, was an unknown quantity; but in this case (as he properly observed), there was an unknown quantity of X.

The more common conclusion, however, was that the situation was simply extraordinary and inexplicable. Even the town mathematician admitted that he couldn't make sense of such a dark problem. X, as everyone knew, was an unknown quantity; but in this case (as he rightly noted), there was an unknown quantity of X.

The opinion of Bob, the devil (who kept dark about his having ‘X-ed the paragrab’), did not meet with so much attention as I think it deserved, although it was very openly and very fearlessly expressed. He said that, for his part, he had no doubt about the matter at all, that it was a clear case, that Mr. Bullet-head ‘never could be persuaded fur to drink like other folks, but vas continually a-svigging o’ that ere blessed XXX ale, and as a naiteral consekvence, it just puffed him up savage, and made him X (cross) in the X-treme.’

The opinion of Bob, the devil (who stayed quiet about his having 'X-ed the paragrab'), didn’t get as much attention as I think it deserved, even though it was expressed very openly and fearlessly. He said that, for his part, he had no doubt about the situation at all, that it was a clear case, that Mr. Bullet-head ‘could never be persuaded to drink like other people, but was always guzzling that blessed XXX ale, and as a natural consequence, it just puffed him up fiercely and made him X (cross) to the extreme.’

METZENGERSTEIN

Pestis eram vivus—moriens tua mors ero.
                    —Martin Luther

Pestis eram vivus—moriens tua mors ero.
                    —Martin Luther

Horror and fatality have been stalking abroad in all ages. Why then give a date to this story I have to tell? Let it suffice to say, that at the period of which I speak, there existed, in the interior of Hungary, a settled although hidden belief in the doctrines of the Metempsychosis. Of the doctrines themselves—that is, of their falsity, or of their probability—I say nothing. I assert, however, that much of our incredulity—as La Bruyère says of all our unhappiness—“vient de ne pouvoir être seuls.” {*1}

Horror and death have been present throughout history. Why should I assign a specific date to the story I'm about to tell? It's enough to say that during the time I'm referring to, there was a deep, though concealed, belief in the ideas of Metempsychosis in the heart of Hungary. I won’t comment on the validity or falsehood of these beliefs. However, I will say that a lot of our disbelief—just like La Bruyère suggests about all our unhappiness—“comes from not being able to be alone.” {*1}

But there are some points in the Hungarian superstition which were fast verging to absurdity. They—the Hungarians—differed very essentially from their Eastern authorities. For example, “The soul,” said the former—I give the words of an acute and intelligent Parisian—“ne demeure qu’un seul fois dans un corps sensible: au reste—un cheval, un chien, un homme même, n’est que la ressemblance peu tangible de ces animaux.

But there are certain aspects of Hungarian superstition that were becoming quite absurd. The Hungarians were fundamentally different from their Eastern counterparts. For instance, “The soul,” said one sharp and insightful Parisian, “only resides once in a physical body: after that—a horse, a dog, or even a human—is just a faint resemblance of those beings.

The families of Berlifitzing and Metzengerstein had been at variance for centuries. Never before were two houses so illustrious, mutually embittered by hostility so deadly. The origin of this enmity seems to be found in the words of an ancient prophecy—“A lofty name shall have a fearful fall when, as the rider over his horse, the mortality of Metzengerstein shall triumph over the immortality of Berlifitzing.”

The Berlifitzing and Metzengerstein families had been at odds for centuries. Never before had two such prominent families been so consumed by deadly hostility. The roots of this conflict seem to lie in the words of an ancient prophecy: “A great name will face a terrible downfall when, like a rider on a horse, the mortality of Metzengerstein will prevail over the immortality of Berlifitzing.”

To be sure the words themselves had little or no meaning. But more trivial causes have given rise—and that no long while ago—to consequences equally eventful. Besides, the estates, which were contiguous, had long exercised a rival influence in the affairs of a busy government. Moreover, near neighbors are seldom friends; and the inhabitants of the Castle Berlifitzing might look, from their lofty buttresses, into the very windows of the palace Metzengerstein. Least of all had the more than feudal magnificence, thus discovered, a tendency to allay the irritable feelings of the less ancient and less wealthy Berlifitzings. What wonder then, that the words, however silly, of that prediction, should have succeeded in setting and keeping at variance two families already predisposed to quarrel by every instigation of hereditary jealousy? The prophecy seemed to imply—if it implied anything—a final triumph on the part of the already more powerful house; and was of course remembered with the more bitter animosity by the weaker and less influential.

The words themselves didn’t mean much. But even minor issues have led to equally significant outcomes—not long ago, either. Plus, the estates, which were next to each other, had long been rivals in the workings of a busy government. Also, neighboring properties are rarely friends, and the people of Castle Berlifitzing could look from their high walls right into the windows of the Metzengerstein palace. The grandeur of the more powerful family didn’t help calm the irritable feelings of the less prestigious and less wealthy Berlifitzings. So, it’s no surprise that the silly words of that prediction managed to keep two families at odds, especially since they were already inclined to quarrel due to their inherited jealousy. The prophecy seemed to suggest—if it suggested anything—a final victory for the already stronger house, which was naturally remembered with more bitterness by the weaker and less influential family.

Wilhelm, Count Berlifitzing, although loftily descended, was, at the epoch of this narrative, an infirm and doting old man, remarkable for nothing but an inordinate and inveterate personal antipathy to the family of his rival, and so passionate a love of horses, and of hunting, that neither bodily infirmity, great age, nor mental incapacity, prevented his daily participation in the dangers of the chase.

Wilhelm, Count Berlifitzing, despite his noble lineage, was, at the time of this story, an frail and senile old man, noted for nothing except his intense and longstanding dislike for his rival's family, and such a passionate love for horses and hunting that neither his physical ailments, advanced age, nor mental decline stopped him from taking part in the risks of the hunt every day.

Frederick, Baron Metzengerstein, was, on the other hand, not yet of age. His father, the Minister G—, died young. His mother, the Lady Mary, followed him quickly after. Frederick was, at that time, in his fifteenth year. In a city, fifteen years are no long period—a child may be still a child in his third lustrum: but in a wilderness—in so magnificent a wilderness as that old principality, fifteen years have a far deeper meaning.

Frederick, Baron Metzengerstein, on the other hand, was not yet of legal age. His father, Minister G—, passed away young. His mother, Lady Mary, followed shortly after. Frederick was, at that time, fifteen years old. In a city, fifteen years isn’t a long time—a child can still be a child at that age: but in a wilderness—in such a magnificent wilderness as that old principality, fifteen years carries a much deeper significance.

From some peculiar circumstances attending the administration of his father, the young Baron, at the decease of the former, entered immediately upon his vast possessions. Such estates were seldom held before by a nobleman of Hungary. His castles were without number. The chief in point of splendor and extent was the “Château Metzengerstein.” The boundary line of his dominions was never clearly defined; but his principal park embraced a circuit of fifty miles.

Due to some unusual circumstances surrounding his father's management, the young Baron immediately inherited his vast estates upon his father's death. Such properties were rarely owned by a Hungarian nobleman. He had countless castles. The most magnificent and expansive was the "Château Metzengerstein." The borders of his territory were never clearly defined, but his main park covered an area of fifty miles.

Upon the succession of a proprietor so young, with a character so well known, to a fortune so unparalleled, little speculation was afloat in regard to his probable course of conduct. And, indeed, for the space of three days, the behavior of the heir out-Heroded Herod, and fairly surpassed the expectations of his most enthusiastic admirers. Shameful debaucheries—flagrant treacheries—unheard-of atrocities—gave his trembling vassals quickly to understand that no servile submission on their part—no punctilios of conscience on his own—were thenceforward to prove any security against the remorseless fangs of a petty Caligula. On the night of the fourth day, the stables of the castle Berlifitzing were discovered to be on fire; and the unanimous opinion of the neighborhood added the crime of the incendiary to the already hideous list of the Baron’s misdemeanors and enormities.

With the succession of such a young owner, whose reputation was so widely recognized, to a fortune of unmatched size, there was little speculation about how he would behave. For three days, the actions of the heir were even more outrageous than expected, shocking even his most devoted supporters. Scandalous excesses—blatant betrayals—unimaginable acts of cruelty—made it clear to his terrified followers that no blind obedience from them, nor any sense of morality from him, would offer any protection against the merciless whims of a minor tyrant. On the night of the fourth day, the stables at Berlifitzing Castle went up in flames; and the community quickly concluded that arson was yet another addition to the already alarming list of the Baron's wrongdoings and excesses.

But during the tumult occasioned by this occurrence, the young nobleman himself sat apparently buried in meditation, in a vast and desolate upper apartment of the family palace of Metzengerstein. The rich although faded tapestry hangings which swung gloomily upon the walls, represented the shadowy and majestic forms of a thousand illustrious ancestors. Here, rich-ermined priests, and pontifical dignitaries, familiarly seated with the autocrat and the sovereign, put a veto on the wishes of a temporal king, or restrained with the fiat of papal supremacy the rebellious sceptre of the Arch-enemy. There, the dark, tall statures of the Princes Metzengerstein—their muscular war-coursers plunging over the carcasses of fallen foes—startled the steadiest nerves with their vigorous expression; and here, again, the voluptuous and swan-like figures of the dames of days gone by, floated away in the mazes of an unreal dance to the strains of imaginary melody.

But during the chaos caused by this event, the young nobleman sat seemingly lost in thought in a spacious and desolate upper room of the family palace of Metzengerstein. The rich but faded tapestry hanging on the walls depicted the shadowy and majestic figures of a thousand famous ancestors. Here, rich priests and high-ranking officials sat casually with the ruler, vetoing the wishes of a temporal king or, with the authority of papal supremacy, restraining the rebellious scepter of the Arch-enemy. There, the tall, dark figures of the Princes Metzengerstein—their powerful warhorses charging over the bodies of fallen enemies—startled the calmest nerves with their fierce expressions; and here, the graceful and swan-like figures of the ladies from long ago floated away in the twists of an unreal dance to the sounds of imagined music.

But as the Baron listened, or affected to listen, to the gradually increasing uproar in the stables of Berlifitzing—or perhaps pondered upon some more novel, some more decided act of audacity—his eyes became unwittingly rivetted to the figure of an enormous, and unnaturally colored horse, represented in the tapestry as belonging to a Saracen ancestor of the family of his rival. The horse itself, in the foreground of the design, stood motionless and statue-like—while farther back, its discomfited rider perished by the dagger of a Metzengerstein.

But as the Baron listened, or pretended to listen, to the growing noise in the stables of Berlifitzing—or maybe thought about some bolder, more daring act of bravery—his eyes became unintentionally fixed on the image of a huge, unnaturally colored horse depicted in the tapestry as belonging to a Saracen ancestor of his rival's family. The horse itself, in the foreground of the design, stood still and statue-like—while further back, its defeated rider fell victim to the dagger of a Metzengerstein.

On Frederick’s lip arose a fiendish expression, as he became aware of the direction which his glance had, without his consciousness, assumed. Yet he did not remove it. On the contrary, he could by no means account for the overwhelming anxiety which appeared falling like a pall upon his senses. It was with difficulty that he reconciled his dreamy and incoherent feelings with the certainty of being awake. The longer he gazed the more absorbing became the spell—the more impossible did it appear that he could ever withdraw his glance from the fascination of that tapestry. But the tumult without becoming suddenly more violent, with a compulsory exertion he diverted his attention to the glare of ruddy light thrown full by the flaming stables upon the windows of the apartment.

A wicked expression crossed Frederick's lips as he realized where his gaze had unconsciously wandered. Yet, he didn’t look away. Instead, he couldn’t understand the intense anxiety that felt like a heavy blanket over his senses. He struggled to reconcile his hazy and disjointed feelings with the reality that he was awake. The longer he stared, the more captivating the enchantment became—making it seem impossible to pull his eyes away from the allure of that tapestry. But then, the commotion outside grew suddenly louder, and with a forceful effort, he shifted his attention to the bright red light spilling from the burning stables into the windows of the room.

The action, however, was but momentary, his gaze returned mechanically to the wall. To his extreme horror and astonishment, the head of the gigantic steed had, in the meantime, altered its position. The neck of the animal, before arched, as if in compassion, over the prostrate body of its lord, was now extended, at full length, in the direction of the Baron. The eyes, before invisible, now wore an energetic and human expression, while they gleamed with a fiery and unusual red; and the distended lips of the apparently enraged horse left in full view his gigantic and disgusting teeth.

The action, however, was just brief; his gaze returned automatically to the wall. To his utter shock and disbelief, the head of the huge horse had changed its position. The animal’s neck, which had previously arched as if in sympathy over its fallen master, was now stretched out fully toward the Baron. The eyes, which had been hidden, now had a fierce and human look, shining with a fiery and unusual red; and the flared lips of the seemingly furious horse revealed its enormous and repulsive teeth.

Stupefied with terror, the young nobleman tottered to the door. As he threw it open, a flash of red light, streaming far into the chamber, flung his shadow with a clear outline against the quivering tapestry, and he shuddered to perceive that shadow—as he staggered awhile upon the threshold—assuming the exact position, and precisely filling up the contour, of the relentless and triumphant murderer of the Saracen Berlifitzing.

Stunned with fear, the young nobleman stumbled to the door. As he threw it open, a beam of red light shot deep into the room, casting his shadow sharply against the trembling tapestry. He shuddered as he noticed that shadow—pausing for a moment on the threshold—mirroring the exact stance and perfectly matching the outline of the merciless and victorious murderer of the Saracen Berlifitzing.

To lighten the depression of his spirits, the Baron hurried into the open air. At the principal gate of the palace he encountered three equerries. With much difficulty, and at the imminent peril of their lives, they were restraining the convulsive plunges of a gigantic and fiery-colored horse.

To lift his gloomy mood, the Baron rushed outside. At the main gate of the palace, he ran into three attendants. They were struggling to control a massive, fiery-colored horse that was thrashing wildly, putting their lives at risk.

“Whose horse? Where did you get him?” demanded the youth, in a querulous and husky tone of voice, as he became instantly aware that the mysterious steed in the tapestried chamber was the very counterpart of the furious animal before his eyes.

"Whose horse is this? Where did you get him?" the young man asked in an annoyed and raspy voice, suddenly realizing that the mysterious horse in the decorated room was exactly like the wild animal in front of him.

“He is your own property, sire,” replied one of the equerries, “at least he is claimed by no other owner. We caught him flying, all smoking and foaming with rage, from the burning stables of the Castle Berlifitzing. Supposing him to have belonged to the old Count’s stud of foreign horses, we led him back as an estray. But the grooms there disclaim any title to the creature; which is strange, since he bears evident marks of having made a narrow escape from the flames.

“He’s your property, sir,” one of the attendants replied, “at least no one else claims him. We found him running wild, all covered in smoke and frothing with anger, coming from the burning stables of Castle Berlifitzing. Thinking he might have belonged to the old Count’s collection of foreign horses, we brought him back as a stray. However, the stable hands there deny any claim to him; it’s odd, considering he clearly shows signs of having narrowly escaped the fire.”

“The letters W. V. B. are also branded very distinctly on his forehead,” interrupted a second equerry, “I supposed them, of course, to be the initials of Wilhelm Von Berlifitzing—but all at the castle are positive in denying any knowledge of the horse.”

“The letters W. V. B. are also clearly branded on his forehead,” interrupted another attendant, “I thought they must be the initials of Wilhelm Von Berlifitzing—but everyone at the castle insists they don’t know anything about the horse.”

“Extremely singular!” said the young Baron, with a musing air, and apparently unconscious of the meaning of his words. “He is, as you say, a remarkable horse—a prodigious horse! although, as you very justly observe, of a suspicious and untractable character; let him be mine, however,” he added, after a pause, “perhaps a rider like Frederick of Metzengerstein, may tame even the devil from the stables of Berlifitzing.”

“Really unique!” said the young Baron, with a thoughtful look, seemingly unaware of what he was saying. “He is, as you mentioned, an impressive horse—a magnificent horse! although, as you rightly point out, he has a suspicious and difficult temperament; if he were mine, though,” he added after a moment, “maybe a rider like Frederick of Metzengerstein could even tame the devil from the stables of Berlifitzing.”

“You are mistaken, my lord; the horse, as I think we mentioned, is not from the stables of the Count. If such had been the case, we know our duty better than to bring him into the presence of a noble of your family.”

“You're wrong, my lord; the horse, as I believe we mentioned, is not from the Count's stables. If it were, we would know better than to bring him in front of a noble from your family.”

“True!” observed the Baron, dryly, and at that instant a page of the bedchamber came from the palace with a heightened color, and a precipitate step. He whispered into his master’s ear an account of the sudden disappearance of a small portion of the tapestry, in an apartment which he designated; entering, at the same time, into particulars of a minute and circumstantial character; but from the low tone of voice in which these latter were communicated, nothing escaped to gratify the excited curiosity of the equerries.

“True!” the Baron said dryly, and just then, a page from the palace rushed in, looking a bit flustered. He leaned in to whisper in his master’s ear about the sudden disappearance of a small part of the tapestry in a specific room, giving detailed information while keeping his voice low. However, the quietness of his tone kept the eager curiosity of the equerries unsatisfied.

The young Frederick, during the conference, seemed agitated by a variety of emotions. He soon, however, recovered his composure, and an expression of determined malignancy settled upon his countenance, as he gave peremptory orders that a certain chamber should be immediately locked up, and the key placed in his own possession.

The young Frederick, during the meeting, seemed rattled by a mix of emotions. He quickly collected himself, and a look of resolved malice crossed his face as he issued strict orders to have a specific room locked up immediately, with the key handed over to him.

“Have you heard of the unhappy death of the old hunter Berlifitzing?” said one of his vassals to the Baron, as, after the departure of the page, the huge steed which that nobleman had adopted as his own, plunged and curvetted, with redoubled fury, down the long avenue which extended from the château to the stables of Metzengerstein.

“Have you heard about the tragic death of the old hunter Berlifitzing?” one of his vassals asked the Baron, as, after the page left, the huge horse that the nobleman had chosen as his own reared and bucked wildly down the long path that stretched from the château to the stables of Metzengerstein.

“No!” said the Baron, turning abruptly toward the speaker, “dead! say you?”

“No!” said the Baron, turning sharply toward the speaker, “dead! you say?”

“It is indeed true, my lord; and, to a noble of your name, will be, I imagine, no unwelcome intelligence.”

“It’s definitely true, my lord; and, for someone of your status, I believe this will be welcome news.”

A rapid smile shot over the countenance of the listener. “How died he?”

A quick smile crossed the listener's face. "How did he die?"

“In his rash exertions to rescue a favorite portion of his hunting stud, he has himself perished miserably in the flames.”

“In his reckless attempts to save a beloved part of his hunting team, he has tragically lost his life in the flames.”

“I-n-d-e-e-d-!” ejaculated the Baron, as if slowly and deliberately impressed with the truth of some exciting idea.

“I-n-d-e-e-d-!” exclaimed the Baron, as if he were gradually and thoughtfully realizing the truth of some thrilling idea.

“Indeed;” repeated the vassal.

“Sure,” repeated the vassal.

“Shocking!” said the youth, calmly, and turned quietly into the château.

“Shocking!” said the young man, calmly, and quietly walked into the château.

From this date a marked alteration took place in the outward demeanor of the dissolute young Baron Frederick Von Metzengerstein. Indeed, his behavior disappointed every expectation, and proved little in accordance with the views of many a manoeuvering mamma; while his habits and manner, still less than formerly, offered any thing congenial with those of the neighboring aristocracy. He was never to be seen beyond the limits of his own domain, and, in this wide and social world, was utterly companionless—unless, indeed, that unnatural, impetuous, and fiery-colored horse, which he henceforward continually bestrode, had any mysterious right to the title of his friend.

From this point on, there was a noticeable change in the outward behavior of the reckless young Baron Frederick Von Metzengerstein. In fact, his actions disappointed everyone’s expectations and didn't align at all with what many scheming mothers hoped for; his habits and manner, even less than before, had anything in common with the local aristocracy. He was rarely seen outside his own estate and, in this vast social world, was completely alone—unless, of course, that unnatural, intense, and fiery-colored horse he rode constantly could somehow be considered his friend.

Numerous invitations on the part of the neighborhood for a long time, however, periodically came in. “Will the Baron honor our festivals with his presence?” “Will the Baron join us in a hunting of the boar?”—“Metzengerstein does not hunt;” “Metzengerstein will not attend,” were the haughty and laconic answers.

Numerous invitations from the neighborhood kept coming in for a long time. “Will the Baron grace our festivals with his presence?” “Will the Baron join us for a boar hunt?”—“Metzengerstein doesn’t hunt;” “Metzengerstein won’t attend,” were the proud and terse responses.

These repeated insults were not to be endured by an imperious nobility. Such invitations became less cordial—less frequent—in time they ceased altogether. The widow of the unfortunate Count Berlifitzing was even heard to express a hope “that the Baron might be at home when he did not wish to be at home, since he disdained the company of his equals; and ride when he did not wish to ride, since he preferred the society of a horse.” This to be sure was a very silly explosion of hereditary pique; and merely proved how singularly unmeaning our sayings are apt to become, when we desire to be unusually energetic.

These constant insults couldn't be tolerated by a proud nobility. Over time, those invitations became less friendly and less frequent, until they disappeared entirely. The widow of the unfortunate Count Berlifitzing was even heard hoping “that the Baron might be home when he didn't want to be home, since he looked down on the company of his peers; and ride when he didn't want to ride, since he preferred the company of a horse.” This, of course, was a very silly outburst of inherited resentment and just showed how meaningless our words can become when we try to be especially forceful.

The charitable, nevertheless, attributed the alteration in the conduct of the young nobleman to the natural sorrow of a son for the untimely loss of his parents—forgetting, however, his atrocious and reckless behavior during the short period immediately succeeding that bereavement. Some there were, indeed, who suggested a too haughty idea of self-consequence and dignity. Others again (among them may be mentioned the family physician) did not hesitate in speaking of morbid melancholy, and hereditary ill-health; while dark hints, of a more equivocal nature, were current among the multitude.

The charitable, however, attributed the change in the young nobleman's behavior to the natural grief he felt for the sudden loss of his parents—forgetting, though, about his horrific and reckless actions during the brief time right after that tragedy. There were indeed some who suggested an overly proud sense of self-importance and dignity. Others, including the family doctor, openly talked about unhealthy melancholy and inherited illness; while darker, more ambiguous rumors circulated among the crowd.

Indeed, the Baron’s perverse attachment to his lately-acquired charger—an attachment which seemed to attain new strength from every fresh example of the animal’s ferocious and demon-like propensities—at length became, in the eyes of all reasonable men, a hideous and unnatural fervor. In the glare of noon—at the dead hour of night—in sickness or in health—in calm or in tempest—the young Metzengerstein seemed rivetted to the saddle of that colossal horse, whose intractable audacities so well accorded with his own spirit.

Indeed, the Baron's twisted bond with his newly-acquired horse—an attachment that seemed to grow stronger with every display of the animal's fierce and almost demonic behavior—eventually became, in the eyes of all sensible people, a disturbing and unnatural obsession. In the bright light of day—in the dead of night—in sickness or in health—in calm or in storm—the young Metzengerstein appeared glued to the saddle of that massive horse, whose uncontrollable boldness matched his own spirit perfectly.

There were circumstances, moreover, which coupled with late events, gave an unearthly and portentous character to the mania of the rider, and to the capabilities of the steed. The space passed over in a single leap had been accurately measured, and was found to exceed, by an astounding difference, the wildest expectations of the most imaginative. The Baron, besides, had no particular name for the animal, although all the rest in his collection were distinguished by characteristic appellations. His stable, too, was appointed at a distance from the rest; and with regard to grooming and other necessary offices, none but the owner in person had ventured to officiate, or even to enter the enclosure of that particular stall. It was also to be observed, that although the three grooms, who had caught the steed as he fled from the conflagration at Berlifitzing, had succeeded in arresting his course, by means of a chain-bridle and noose—yet no one of the three could with any certainty affirm that he had, during that dangerous struggle, or at any period thereafter, actually placed his hand upon the body of the beast. Instances of peculiar intelligence in the demeanor of a noble and high-spirited horse are not to be supposed capable of exciting unreasonable attention—especially among men who, daily trained to the labors of the chase, might appear well acquainted with the sagacity of a horse—but there were certain circumstances which intruded themselves per force upon the most skeptical and phlegmatic; and it is said there were times when the animal caused the gaping crowd who stood around to recoil in horror from the deep and impressive meaning of his terrible stamp—times when the young Metzengerstein turned pale and shrunk away from the rapid and searching expression of his earnest and human-looking eye.

There were circumstances, along with recent events, that gave an eerie and ominous vibe to the rider's obsession and the horse's abilities. The distance covered in a single jump had been precisely measured, revealing an astonishing difference that surpassed even the wildest dreams of the most imaginative. The Baron didn't have a specific name for the animal, even though all the others in his collection had unique names. His stable was also located far from the others, and when it came to grooming and other essential tasks, only the owner himself had dared to handle or even enter that particular stall. It was worth noting that although the three grooms who had caught the horse as it fled from the fire at Berlifitzing managed to stop it using a chain-bridle and noose, none of them could confidently claim that they had actually touched the animal during that dangerous struggle, or at any time afterward. Cases of unusual intelligence in the behavior of a noble and spirited horse shouldn’t cause unnecessary attention—especially among men trained daily for the hunt, who would be familiar with a horse's cleverness. However, certain situations forced themselves into the minds of even the most skeptical and unemotional; it's said that there were moments when the animal made the astonished crowd recoil in horror from the profound and significant meaning of its fearsome stamp—times when the young Metzengerstein turned pale and shrank away from the horse's intense and piercing gaze that seemed almost human.

Among all the retinue of the Baron, however, none were found to doubt the ardor of that extraordinary affection which existed on the part of the young nobleman for the fiery qualities of his horse; at least, none but an insignificant and misshapen little page, whose deformities were in everybody’s way, and whose opinions were of the least possible importance. He—if his ideas are worth mentioning at all—had the effrontery to assert that his master never vaulted into the saddle without an unaccountable and almost imperceptible shudder, and that, upon his return from every long-continued and habitual ride, an expression of triumphant malignity distorted every muscle in his countenance.

Among all the Baron's entourage, no one doubted the intense affection the young nobleman had for the fiery nature of his horse; at least, no one except a small, awkward little page, whose flaws were a nuisance to everyone, and whose opinions were barely worth considering. He—if his thoughts are even worth mentioning—had the nerve to claim that his master never got on the horse without an inexplicable and almost unnoticeable shiver, and that after every long, usual ride, a look of victorious malice twisted every muscle in his face.

One tempestuous night, Metzengerstein, awaking from a heavy slumber, descended like a maniac from his chamber, and, mounting in hot haste, bounded away into the mazes of the forest. An occurrence so common attracted no particular attention, but his return was looked for with intense anxiety on the part of his domestics, when, after some hours’ absence, the stupendous and magnificent battlements of the Chateau Metzengerstein, were discovered crackling and rocking to their very foundation, under the influence of a dense and livid mass of ungovernable fire.

One stormy night, Metzengerstein, waking from a deep sleep, jumped out of his room like a madman and, in a hurry, rushed into the depths of the forest. This kind of behavior was not unusual, so it didn’t raise any special concern, but when he didn’t come back for several hours, his household grew increasingly anxious. Eventually, they noticed the imposing and grand towers of the Chateau Metzengerstein shaking and cracking at their base, engulfed by a thick and fiery blaze that seemed impossible to control.

As the flames, when first seen, had already made so terrible a progress that all efforts to save any portion of the building were evidently futile, the astonished neighborhood stood idly around in silent and pathetic wonder. But a new and fearful object soon rivetted the attention of the multitude, and proved how much more intense is the excitement wrought in the feelings of a crowd by the contemplation of human agony, than that brought about by the most appalling spectacles of inanimate matter.

As the flames, when first seen, had already advanced so dramatically that all attempts to save any part of the building were clearly pointless, the shocked neighborhood gathered around in silent and helpless amazement. But a new and horrifying sight quickly captured the crowd's attention, showing just how much more intense the excitement is in a crowd when faced with human suffering compared to the most shocking scenes of lifeless objects.

Up the long avenue of aged oaks which led from the forest to the main entrance of the Château Metzengerstein, a steed, bearing an unbonneted and disordered rider, was seen leaping with an impetuosity which outstripped the very Demon of the Tempest.

Up the long path of old oak trees that led from the forest to the main entrance of Château Metzengerstein, a horse, carrying a rider without a hat and looking disheveled, was seen racing with a rush that surpassed even the Demon of the Tempest.

The career of the horseman was indisputably, on his own part, uncontrollable. The agony of his countenance, the convulsive struggle of his frame, gave evidence of superhuman exertion: but no sound, save a solitary shriek, escaped from his lacerated lips, which were bitten through and through in the intensity of terror. One instant, and the clattering of hoofs resounded sharply and shrilly above the roaring of the flames and the shrieking of the winds—another, and, clearing at a single plunge the gate-way and the moat, the steed bounded far up the tottering staircases of the palace, and, with its rider, disappeared amid the whirlwind of chaotic fire.

The horseman's career was undeniably out of his control. The pain on his face and the intense struggle of his body showed he was pushing himself to the limit; yet, the only sound that came from his torn lips, which were bitten in sheer terror, was a single scream. In one moment, the sound of hooves echoed sharply over the roar of the flames and the howling winds—then, with one powerful leap, the horse jumped over the gateway and the moat, racing up the shaky staircases of the palace, disappearing into the chaos of fire.

The fury of the tempest immediately died away, and a dead calm sullenly succeeded. A white flame still enveloped the building like a shroud, and, streaming far away into the quiet atmosphere, shot forth a glare of preternatural light; while a cloud of smoke settled heavily over the battlements in the distinct colossal figure of—a horse.

The anger of the storm quickly faded, leaving behind a heavy stillness. A bright light still wrapped around the building like a cloak and streamed away into the quiet air, casting an unnatural glow; meanwhile, a thick cloud of smoke hung heavily over the battlements in the clear shape of—a horse.

THE SYSTEM OF DOCTOR TARR AND PROFESSOR FETHER

During the autumn of 18—, while on a tour through the extreme southern provinces of France, my route led me within a few miles of a certain Maison de Santé or private mad-house, about which I had heard much, in Paris, from my medical friends. As I had never visited a place of the kind, I thought the opportunity too good to be lost; and so proposed to my travelling companion (a gentleman with whom I had made casual acquaintance a few days before), that we should turn aside, for an hour or so, and look through the establishment. To this he objected—pleading haste in the first place, and, in the second, a very usual horror at the sight of a lunatic. He begged me, however, not to let any mere courtesy towards himself interfere with the gratification of my curiosity, and said that he would ride on leisurely, so that I might overtake him during the day, or, at all events, during the next. As he bade me good-bye, I bethought me that there might be some difficulty in obtaining access to the premises, and mentioned my fears on this point. He replied that, in fact, unless I had personal knowledge of the superintendent, Monsieur Maillard, or some credential in the way of a letter, a difficulty might be found to exist, as the regulations of these private mad-houses were more rigid than the public hospital laws. For himself, he added, he had, some years since, made the acquaintance of Maillard, and would so far assist me as to ride up to the door and introduce me; although his feelings on the subject of lunacy would not permit of his entering the house.

During the fall of 18—, while traveling through the southern provinces of France, my path brought me close to a Maison de Santé, or private asylum, that I had heard a lot about in Paris from my medical friends. Since I had never visited such a place, I thought this was too good of an opportunity to pass up; so I suggested to my traveling companion (a gentleman I'd met just a few days prior) that we should take a detour and check out the facility for an hour. He objected, citing the need to hurry first and, secondly, a common fear of seeing someone who was insane. However, he urged me not to let any courtesy towards him get in the way of satisfying my curiosity, saying he would ride on at a leisurely pace so I could catch up with him later in the day or the next. As he said goodbye, I realized there might be some trouble getting into the place and shared my concerns. He responded that, unless I personally knew the superintendent, Monsieur Maillard, or had a letter of introduction, I might encounter difficulties since the rules at these private asylums were stricter than those at public hospitals. He mentioned that he had met Maillard a few years ago and offered to assist me by riding up to the door and introducing me, although his aversion to mental illness would not allow him to enter the building.

I thanked him, and, turning from the main road, we entered a grass-grown by-path, which, in half an hour, nearly lost itself in a dense forest, clothing the base of a mountain. Through this dank and gloomy wood we rode some two miles, when the Maison de Santé came in view. It was a fantastic château, much dilapidated, and indeed scarcely tenantable through age and neglect. Its aspect inspired me with absolute dread, and, checking my horse, I half resolved to turn back. I soon, however, grew ashamed of my weakness, and proceeded.

I thanked him, and turning off the main road, we entered a grassy side path that, after about half an hour, almost disappeared into a thick forest at the base of a mountain. We rode through this damp and dark woods for about two miles until the Maison de Santé came into sight. It was a strange château, quite run-down, and barely livable due to age and neglect. Its appearance filled me with fear, and slowing my horse, I almost decided to turn back. However, I quickly felt embarrassed by my weakness and moved on.

As we rode up to the gate-way, I perceived it slightly open, and the visage of a man peering through. In an instant afterward, this man came forth, accosted my companion by name, shook him cordially by the hand, and begged him to alight. It was Monsieur Maillard himself. He was a portly, fine-looking gentleman of the old school, with a polished manner, and a certain air of gravity, dignity, and authority which was very impressive.

As we approached the gate, I noticed it was slightly open, and a man was peering through. A moment later, he stepped out, greeted my companion by name, shook his hand warmly, and asked him to get down. It was Monsieur Maillard himself. He was a well-built, attractive gentleman from the old days, with a polished demeanor and an impressive air of seriousness, dignity, and authority.

My friend, having presented me, mentioned my desire to inspect the establishment, and received Monsieur Maillard’s assurance that he would show me all attention, now took leave, and I saw him no more.

My friend introduced me and mentioned that I wanted to check out the place. Monsieur Maillard assured him that he would make sure I was well taken care of. Then my friend left, and I didn't see him again.

When he had gone, the superintendent ushered me into a small and exceedingly neat parlor, containing, among other indications of refined taste, many books, drawings, pots of flowers, and musical instruments. A cheerful fire blazed upon the hearth. At a piano, singing an aria from Bellini, sat a young and very beautiful woman, who, at my entrance, paused in her song, and received me with graceful courtesy. Her voice was low, and her whole manner subdued. I thought, too, that I perceived the traces of sorrow in her countenance, which was excessively, although to my taste, not unpleasingly, pale. She was attired in deep mourning, and excited in my bosom a feeling of mingled respect, interest, and admiration.

When he left, the superintendent led me into a small, incredibly tidy parlor, which had, among other signs of good taste, lots of books, drawings, flower pots, and musical instruments. A cheerful fire was crackling in the fireplace. Sitting at a piano and singing an aria from Bellini was a young and incredibly beautiful woman who paused her song when I walked in and greeted me with graceful courtesy. Her voice was soft, and her overall demeanor was calm. I also thought I noticed signs of sadness on her face, which was very pale, but in a way that I found quite appealing. She was dressed in deep mourning, stirring up a mix of respect, interest, and admiration in me.

I had heard, at Paris, that the institution of Monsieur Maillard was managed upon what is vulgarly termed the “system of soothing”—that all punishments were avoided—that even confinement was seldom resorted to—that the patients, while secretly watched, were left much apparent liberty, and that most of them were permitted to roam about the house and grounds in the ordinary apparel of persons in right mind.

I had heard in Paris that Monsieur Maillard's institution operated on what people commonly call the “soothing system”—that they avoided all punishments—that even confinement was rarely used—that the patients, while being discreetly observed, were given a lot of apparent freedom, and that most of them were allowed to walk around the house and grounds in regular clothes like sane individuals.

Keeping these impressions in view, I was cautious in what I said before the young lady; for I could not be sure that she was sane; and, in fact, there was a certain restless brilliancy about her eyes which half led me to imagine she was not. I confined my remarks, therefore, to general topics, and to such as I thought would not be displeasing or exciting even to a lunatic. She replied in a perfectly rational manner to all that I said; and even her original observations were marked with the soundest good sense, but a long acquaintance with the metaphysics of mania, had taught me to put no faith in such evidence of sanity, and I continued to practise, throughout the interview, the caution with which I commenced it.

Considering these impressions, I was careful about what I said in front of the young lady because I couldn’t be sure she was sane; in fact, there was a restless brightness in her eyes that made me think otherwise. So, I limited my conversation to general topics that I thought would be neutral and not upsetting, even to someone who might be unwell. She responded to everything I said in a completely rational way, and even her initial comments showed significant common sense. However, my long experience with the complexities of mental illness had taught me not to trust such signs of sanity, and I maintained the same caution throughout our conversation that I had at the start.

Presently a smart footman in livery brought in a tray with fruit, wine, and other refreshments, of which I partook, the lady soon afterward leaving the room. As she departed I turned my eyes in an inquiring manner toward my host.

Right now, a smart footman in uniform came in with a tray of fruit, wine, and other snacks, which I enjoyed while the lady soon left the room. As she walked out, I looked at my host questioningly.

“No,” he said, “oh, no—a member of my family—my niece, and a most accomplished woman.”

“No,” he said, “oh, no—a member of my family—my niece, and a very talented woman.”

“I beg a thousand pardons for the suspicion,” I replied, “but of course you will know how to excuse me. The excellent administration of your affairs here is well understood in Paris, and I thought it just possible, you know—”

“I’m really sorry for the suspicion,” I said, “but you will surely understand my hesitation. The great management of your affairs here is well recognized in Paris, and I thought it was just possible, you know—”

“Yes, yes—say no more—or rather it is myself who should thank you for the commendable prudence you have displayed. We seldom find so much of forethought in young men; and, more than once, some unhappy contre-temps has occurred in consequence of thoughtlessness on the part of our visitors. While my former system was in operation, and my patients were permitted the privilege of roaming to and fro at will, they were often aroused to a dangerous frenzy by injudicious persons who called to inspect the house. Hence I was obliged to enforce a rigid system of exclusion; and none obtained access to the premises upon whose discretion I could not rely.”

“Yes, yes—don't mention it—or rather, I should be the one to thank you for the wise caution you’ve shown. We rarely see so much thoughtfulness in young men; and more than once, unfortunate incidents have happened because of the carelessness of our visitors. When my previous system was in place, and my patients were allowed to move around freely, they were often stirred into a dangerous frenzy by inconsiderate people coming to look at the house. So I had to implement a strict policy of exclusion; no one was allowed on the premises unless I could trust their judgment.”

“While your former system was in operation!” I said, repeating his words—“do I understand you, then, to say that the ‘soothing system’ of which I have heard so much is no longer in force?”

“While your old system was running!” I said, repeating his words—“so, are you telling me that the ‘soothing system’ I’ve heard so much about is no longer in effect?”

“It is now,” he replied, “several weeks since we have concluded to renounce it forever.”

“It’s been several weeks since we decided to give it up for good,” he replied.

“Indeed! you astonish me!”

"Wow! You amaze me!"

“We found it, sir,” he said, with a sigh, “absolutely necessary to return to the old usages. The danger of the soothing system was, at all times, appalling; and its advantages have been much overrated. I believe, sir, that in this house it has been given a fair trial, if ever in any. We did every thing that rational humanity could suggest. I am sorry that you could not have paid us a visit at an earlier period, that you might have judged for yourself. But I presume you are conversant with the soothing practice—with its details.”

“We found it, sir,” he said with a sigh, “absolutely necessary to go back to the old ways. The dangers of the soothing system were always alarming, and its benefits have been greatly exaggerated. I believe, sir, that in this house it has been given a fair shot, if anywhere has. We did everything that reasonable people could think of. I'm sorry you couldn't visit us earlier so you could see for yourself. But I assume you're familiar with the soothing method—its details.”

“Not altogether. What I have heard has been at third or fourth hand.”

“Not really. What I've heard has come from third or fourth hand sources.”

“I may state the system, then, in general terms, as one in which the patients were menagés—humored. We contradicted no fancies which entered the brains of the mad. On the contrary, we not only indulged but encouraged them; and many of our most permanent cures have been thus effected. There is no argument which so touches the feeble reason of the madman as the argumentum ad absurdum. We have had men, for example, who fancied themselves chickens. The cure was, to insist upon the thing as a fact—to accuse the patient of stupidity in not sufficiently perceiving it to be a fact—and thus to refuse him any other diet for a week than that which properly appertains to a chicken. In this manner a little corn and gravel were made to perform wonders.”

“I can describe the system, then, in general terms, as one in which the patients were handled with care—humored. We didn't challenge the thoughts that came to the minds of the mentally ill. Instead, we not only indulged in them but also encouraged them; many of our most lasting cures came about this way. There’s no argument that resonates with the fragile reason of a madman quite like the argumentum ad absurdum. For instance, we've had men who believed they were chickens. The treatment was to insist that it was true—to call the patient foolish for not recognizing it as a fact—and thus to restrict their diet for a week to only what’s suitable for a chicken. In this way, a little corn and gravel worked wonders.”

“But was this species of acquiescence all?”

“But was this all there was to this kind of agreement?”

“By no means. We put much faith in amusements of a simple kind, such as music, dancing, gymnastic exercises generally, cards, certain classes of books, and so forth. We affected to treat each individual as if for some ordinary physical disorder; and the word ‘lunacy’ was never employed. A great point was to set each lunatic to guard the actions of all the others. To repose confidence in the understanding or discretion of a madman, is to gain him body and soul. In this way we were enabled to dispense with an expensive body of keepers.”

“Not at all. We really believed in simple pleasures like music, dancing, workouts, playing cards, certain types of books, and so on. We pretended to treat each person as if they had a typical physical ailment; the term ‘lunacy’ was never used. A major goal was to have each person manage the behavior of the others. Trusting the judgment or common sense of someone who’s mentally unwell connects them to you completely. This approach allowed us to avoid the costs of hiring a large staff of caretakers.”

“And you had no punishments of any kind?”

“And you didn’t have any punishments at all?”

“None.”

None.

“And you never confined your patients?”

“And you never locked up your patients?”

“Very rarely. Now and then, the malady of some individual growing to a crisis, or taking a sudden turn of fury, we conveyed him to a secret cell, lest his disorder should infect the rest, and there kept him until we could dismiss him to his friends—for with the raging maniac we have nothing to do. He is usually removed to the public hospitals.”

“Very rarely. Occasionally, when someone’s condition escalated or took a sudden turn for the worse, we would move them to a private cell to prevent their disorder from affecting others, and we kept them there until we could send them back to their friends—because we have nothing to do with the raging maniac. They are usually transferred to public hospitals.”

“And you have now changed all this—and you think for the better?”

“And you’ve now changed all this—and you think it’s for the better?”

“Decidedly. The system had its disadvantages, and even its dangers. It is now, happily, exploded throughout all the Maisons de Santé of France.”

“Definitely. The system had its drawbacks, and even its risks. It is now, thankfully, discredited across all the Maisons de Santé in France.”

“I am very much surprised,” I said, “at what you tell me; for I made sure that, at this moment, no other method of treatment for mania existed in any portion of the country.”

“I’m really surprised,” I said, “by what you’re telling me; I was sure that, right now, there was no other treatment for mania available anywhere in the country.”

“You are young yet, my friend,” replied my host, “but the time will arrive when you will learn to judge for yourself of what is going on in the world, without trusting to the gossip of others. Believe nothing you hear, and only one-half that you see. Now about our Maisons de Santé, it is clear that some ignoramus has misled you. After dinner, however, when you have sufficiently recovered from the fatigue of your ride, I will be happy to take you over the house, and introduce to you a system which, in my opinion, and in that of every one who has witnessed its operation, is incomparably the most effectual as yet devised.”

“You're still young, my friend,” my host replied, “but the time will come when you'll learn to understand what's really happening in the world without relying on other people's gossip. Trust nothing you hear, and only half of what you see. Now, regarding our Maisons de Santé, it seems that some fool has misled you. After dinner, though, once you've had a chance to recover from your ride, I’d be glad to show you around the place and introduce you to a system that, in my opinion and that of everyone who has seen it in action, is by far the most effective one created so far.”

“Your own?” I inquired—“one of your own invention?”

“Your own?” I asked—“one you came up with yourself?”

“I am proud,” he replied, “to acknowledge that it is—at least in some measure.”

“I’m proud,” he replied, “to admit that it is—at least to some extent.”

In this manner I conversed with Monsieur Maillard for an hour or two, during which he showed me the gardens and conservatories of the place.

I talked with Monsieur Maillard like this for an hour or two, during which he showed me the gardens and greenhouses on the property.

“I cannot let you see my patients,” he said, “just at present. To a sensitive mind there is always more or less of the shocking in such exhibitions; and I do not wish to spoil your appetite for dinner. We will dine. I can give you some veal a la Menehoult, with cauliflowers in velouté sauce—after that a glass of Clos de Vougeot—then your nerves will be sufficiently steadied.”

“I can’t let you see my patients right now,” he said. “For a sensitive mind, there’s always something a bit shocking about such things, and I don’t want to ruin your appetite for dinner. Let’s have dinner first. I can serve you some veal a la Menehoult, with cauliflower in velouté sauce—after that, a glass of Clos de Vougeot—then your nerves will be steady enough.”

At six, dinner was announced; and my host conducted me into a large salle à manger, where a very numerous company were assembled—twenty-five or thirty in all. They were, apparently, people of rank—certainly of high breeding—although their habiliments, I thought, were extravagantly rich, partaking somewhat too much of the ostentatious finery of the vielle cour. I noticed that at least two-thirds of these guests were ladies; and some of the latter were by no means accoutred in what a Parisian would consider good taste at the present day. Many females, for example, whose age could not have been less than seventy were bedecked with a profusion of jewelry, such as rings, bracelets, and earrings, and wore their bosoms and arms shamefully bare. I observed, too, that very few of the dresses were well made—or, at least, that very few of them fitted the wearers. In looking about, I discovered the interesting girl to whom Monsieur Maillard had presented me in the little parlor; but my surprise was great to see her wearing a hoop and farthingale, with high-heeled shoes, and a dirty cap of Brussels lace, so much too large for her that it gave her face a ridiculously diminutive expression. When I had first seen her, she was attired, most becomingly, in deep mourning. There was an air of oddity, in short, about the dress of the whole party, which, at first, caused me to recur to my original idea of the “soothing system,” and to fancy that Monsieur Maillard had been willing to deceive me until after dinner, that I might experience no uncomfortable feelings during the repast, at finding myself dining with lunatics; but I remembered having been informed, in Paris, that the southern provincialists were a peculiarly eccentric people, with a vast number of antiquated notions; and then, too, upon conversing with several members of the company, my apprehensions were immediately and fully dispelled.

At six, dinner was announced; and my host took me into a large salle à manger, where a very large group had gathered—about twenty-five or thirty in total. They seemed to be people of status—definitely from a good background—though I thought their outfits were overly extravagant, leaning a bit too much towards the flashy style of the vielle cour. I noticed that at least two-thirds of the guests were women; and some of them were dressed in a way that wouldn’t be considered stylish by today’s Parisian standards. For instance, many women who were at least seventy years old were adorned with plenty of jewelry, like rings, bracelets, and earrings, and had their chests and arms scandalously exposed. I also noticed that very few of the dresses were well tailored—or at least, they didn’t fit the wearers properly. As I looked around, I spotted the interesting girl who Monsieur Maillard had introduced to me earlier in the small parlor; but I was shocked to see her in a hoop and farthingale, with high-heeled shoes and a dirty Brussels lace cap that was so oversized it made her face look comically small. When I first saw her, she was dressed elegantly in deep mourning. Overall, there was something strange about the outfits of the entire group, which initially made me think back to my original impression of the “soothing system,” imagining that Monsieur Maillard had meant to trick me until after dinner so that I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable eating with lunatics; but then I remembered that I had been told in Paris that people from the southern provinces were quite eccentric, holding onto many outdated ideas; and upon chatting with several members of the company, my worries quickly faded away.

The dining-room itself, although perhaps sufficiently comfortable and of good dimensions, had nothing too much of elegance about it. For example, the floor was uncarpeted; in France, however, a carpet is frequently dispensed with. The windows, too, were without curtains; the shutters, being shut, were securely fastened with iron bars, applied diagonally, after the fashion of our ordinary shop-shutters. The apartment, I observed, formed, in itself, a wing of the château, and thus the windows were on three sides of the parallelogram, the door being at the other. There were no less than ten windows in all.

The dining room, while probably comfortable enough and a decent size, lacked any real elegance. For instance, the floor wasn’t carpeted; in France, it's common to do without a carpet. The windows also had no curtains; the shutters were closed and securely locked with iron bars, like those on regular shop shutters. I noticed that this room was part of a wing of the château, with windows on three sides of the rectangular space, and the door on the other side. There were a total of ten windows.

The table was superbly set out. It was loaded with plate, and more than loaded with delicacies. The profusion was absolutely barbaric. There were meats enough to have feasted the Anakim. Never, in all my life, had I witnessed so lavish, so wasteful an expenditure of the good things of life. There seemed very little taste, however, in the arrangements; and my eyes, accustomed to quiet lights, were sadly offended by the prodigious glare of a multitude of wax candles, which, in silver candelabra, were deposited upon the table, and all about the room, wherever it was possible to find a place. There were several active servants in attendance; and, upon a large table, at the farther end of the apartment, were seated seven or eight people with fiddles, fifes, trombones, and a drum. These fellows annoyed me very much, at intervals, during the repast, by an infinite variety of noises, which were intended for music, and which appeared to afford much entertainment to all present, with the exception of myself.

The table was set beautifully. It was filled with dishes and overflowing with delicious food. The abundance was almost outrageous. There were enough meats to have fed a giant. Never in my life had I seen such a lavish, wasteful display of life's pleasures. However, the arrangements lacked taste, and my eyes, used to soft lighting, were offended by the overwhelming brightness of numerous wax candles, which were placed on the table and around the room wherever there was space. Several attentive servers were present, and at a large table at the far end of the room, seven or eight musicians were seated with fiddles, flutes, trombones, and a drum. These musicians annoyed me greatly during the meal with an endless assortment of sounds that were meant to be music, which seemed to entertain everyone else except me.

Upon the whole, I could not help thinking that there was much of the bizarre about every thing I saw—but then the world is made up of all kinds of persons, with all modes of thought, and all sorts of conventional customs. I had travelled, too, so much, as to be quite an adept at the nil admirari; so I took my seat very coolly at the right hand of my host, and, having an excellent appetite, did justice to the good cheer set before me.

Overall, I couldn't shake the feeling that everything I saw was pretty strange—but then again, the world is full of all kinds of people, with different ways of thinking and all sorts of social norms. I had traveled enough to be quite skilled at not being easily surprised; so I calmly took my seat on the right side of my host and, with a healthy appetite, enjoyed the great food that was served to me.

The conversation, in the meantime, was spirited and general. The ladies, as usual, talked a great deal. I soon found that nearly all the company were well educated; and my host was a world of good-humored anecdote in himself. He seemed quite willing to speak of his position as superintendent of aMaison de Santé; and, indeed, the topic of lunacy was, much to my surprise, a favorite one with all present. A great many amusing stories were told, having reference to the whims of the patients.

The conversation was lively and inclusive. The ladies talked a lot, as usual. I quickly realized that almost everyone there was well-educated, and my host was a treasure trove of good-humored stories. He was open to discussing his role as the superintendent of a Maison de Santé, and surprisingly, the subject of mental illness was a favorite topic among everyone present. Many funny anecdotes were shared about the whims of the patients.

“We had a fellow here once,” said a fat little gentleman, who sat at my right,—“a fellow that fancied himself a tea-pot; and by the way, is it not especially singular how often this particular crotchet has entered the brain of the lunatic? There is scarcely an insane asylum in France which cannot supply a human tea-pot. Our gentleman was a Britannia-ware tea-pot, and was careful to polish himself every morning with buckskin and whiting.”

“We had a guy here once,” said a chubby little man who sat to my right, “a guy who thought he was a teapot; and by the way, isn’t it strange how often this specific idea pops up in the minds of the mentally ill? There’s hardly a mental hospital in France that can’t provide a human teapot. Our guy was a Britannia-ware teapot, and he made sure to polish himself every morning with buckskin and whiting.”

“And then,” said a tall man just opposite, “we had here, not long ago, a person who had taken it into his head that he was a donkey—which allegorically speaking, you will say, was quite true. He was a troublesome patient; and we had much ado to keep him within bounds. For a long time he would eat nothing but thistles; but of this idea we soon cured him by insisting upon his eating nothing else. Then he was perpetually kicking out his heels—so—so—”

“And then,” said a tall man right across from me, “not too long ago, we had someone here who was convinced he was a donkey—which, allegorically speaking, you’d say was pretty accurate. He was a difficult patient; we had a hard time keeping him in check. For a while, he would eat nothing but thistles; but we quickly solved that by making him eat nothing else. After that, he kept kicking up his heels—like this—”

“Mr. De Kock! I will thank you to behave yourself!” here interrupted an old lady, who sat next to the speaker. “Please keep your feet to yourself! You have spoiled my brocade! Is it necessary, pray, to illustrate a remark in so practical a style? Our friend here can surely comprehend you without all this. Upon my word, you are nearly as great a donkey as the poor unfortunate imagined himself. Your acting is very natural, as I live.”

“Mr. De Kock! I expect you to behave yourself!” interrupted an old lady sitting next to the speaker. “Please keep your feet to yourself! You’ve ruined my brocade! Is it really necessary to demonstrate your point in such a hands-on way? Surely our friend here can understand you without all this. Honestly, you’re almost as much of a fool as that poor unfortunate thought he was. Your acting is quite convincing, I swear.”

“Mille pardons! Ma’m’selle!” replied Monsieur De Kock, thus addressed—“a thousand pardons! I had no intention of offending. Ma’m’selle Laplace—Monsieur De Kock will do himself the honor of taking wine with you.”

"Many apologies! Miss!" replied Monsieur De Kock, upon being addressed—"a thousand apologies! I had no intention of being rude. Miss Laplace—Monsieur De Kock would be honored to share a drink with you."

Here Monsieur De Kock bowed low, kissed his hand with much ceremony, and took wine with Ma’m’selle Laplace.

Here, Monsieur De Kock bowed deeply, kissed his hand very formally, and shared a drink with Ma’m’selle Laplace.

“Allow me, mon ami,” now said Monsieur Maillard, addressing myself, “allow me to send you a morsel of this veal à la St. Menehoult—you will find it particularly fine.”

“Let me, my friend,” Monsieur Maillard said to me, “let me offer you a bite of this veal à la St. Menehoult—you’re going to find it especially good.”

At this instant three sturdy waiters had just succeeded in depositing safely upon the table an enormous dish, or trencher, containing what I supposed to be the “monstrum, horrendum, informe, ingens, cui lumen ademptum.” A closer scrutiny assured me, however, that it was only a small calf roasted whole, and set upon its knees, with an apple in its mouth, as is the English fashion of dressing a hare.

At that moment, three strong waiters successfully placed a huge dish on the table, which I thought was the “monstrum, horrendum, informe, ingens, cui lumen ademptum.” However, a closer look confirmed that it was just a small calf roasted whole, posed on its knees with an apple in its mouth, just like the English way of preparing a hare.

“Thank you, no,” I replied; “to say the truth, I am not particularly partial to veal à la St.—what is it?—for I do not find that it altogether agrees with me. I will change my plate, however, and try some of the rabbit.”

“Thanks, but no,” I replied; “to be honest, I’m not really a fan of veal à la St.—what is it?—because it doesn’t really agree with me. I’ll switch my plate, though, and have some of the rabbit instead.”

There were several side-dishes on the table, containing what appeared to be the ordinary French rabbit—a very delicious morceau, which I can recommend.

There were several side dishes on the table, featuring what seemed to be the typical French rabbit—a very tasty piece, which I can recommend.

“Pierre,” cried the host, “change this gentleman’s plate, and give him a side-piece of this rabbit au-chat.”

“Pierre,” the host exclaimed, “swap this gentleman’s plate and give him a side of this rabbit au-chat.”

“This what?” said I.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“This rabbit au-chat.”

“This rabbit is a con.”

“Why, thank you—upon second thoughts, no. I will just help myself to some of the ham.”

“Thanks, but on second thought, no. I’ll just grab some of the ham.”

There is no knowing what one eats, thought I to myself, at the tables of these people of the province. I will have none of their rabbit au-chat—and, for the matter of that, none of their cat-au-rabbit either.

There’s no way to know what's actually on your plate when you eat with these locals. I won't touch their rabbit au-chat—and honestly, I won't eat their cat-au-rabbit either.

“And then,” said a cadaverous looking personage, near the foot of the table, taking up the thread of the conversation where it had been broken off,—“and then, among other oddities, we had a patient, once upon a time, who very pertinaciously maintained himself to be a Cordova cheese, and went about, with a knife in his hand, soliciting his friends to try a small slice from the middle of his leg.”

“And then,” said a gaunt-looking person at the foot of the table, picking up the conversation from where it had paused, “and then, among other strange cases, we once had a patient who stubbornly insisted that he was a Cordova cheese, and walked around with a knife in his hand, asking his friends to take a small slice from the middle of his leg.”

“He was a great fool, beyond doubt,” interposed some one, “but not to be compared with a certain individual whom we all know, with the exception of this strange gentleman. I mean the man who took himself for a bottle of champagne, and always went off with a pop and a fizz, in this fashion.”

“He was definitely a big fool,” someone chimed in, “but he can't hold a candle to a certain person we all know, except for this unusual gentleman here. I'm talking about the guy who thought he was a bottle of champagne and always left with a pop and a fizz, like this.”

Here the speaker, very rudely, as I thought, put his right thumb in his left cheek, withdrew it with a sound resembling the popping of a cork, and then, by a dexterous movement of the tongue upon the teeth, created a sharp hissing and fizzing, which lasted for several minutes, in imitation of the frothing of champagne. This behavior, I saw plainly, was not very pleasing to Monsieur Maillard; but that gentleman said nothing, and the conversation was resumed by a very lean little man in a big wig.

Here, the speaker rudely put his right thumb in his left cheek, pulled it out with a sound like a cork popping, and then, with a clever movement of his tongue on his teeth, made a sharp hissing and fizzing noise that went on for several minutes, mimicking the fizz of champagne. I could see that this behavior didn’t please Monsieur Maillard at all, but he didn’t say anything, and the conversation continued with a very thin little man in a big wig.

“And then there was an ignoramus,” said he, “who mistook himself for a frog, which, by the way, he resembled in no little degree. I wish you could have seen him, sir,”—here the speaker addressed myself—“it would have done your heart good to see the natural airs that he put on. Sir, if that man was not a frog, I can only observe that it is a pity he was not. His croak thus—o-o-o-o-gh—o-o-o-o-gh! was the finest note in the world—B flat; and when he put his elbows upon the table thus—after taking a glass or two of wine—and distended his mouth, thus, and rolled up his eyes, thus, and winked them with excessive rapidity, thus, why then, sir, I take it upon myself to say, positively, that you would have been lost in admiration of the genius of the man.”

“And then there was this fool,” he said, “who thought he was a frog, which, by the way, he resembled quite a bit. I wish you could have seen him, sir,”—here the speaker addressed me—“it would have warmed your heart to see the natural airs he put on. Sir, if that guy wasn’t a frog, I can only say it’s a shame he wasn’t. His croak—o-o-o-o-gh—o-o-o-o-gh!—was the finest sound in the world—B flat; and when he leaned his elbows on the table like this—after having a glass or two of wine—and stretched his mouth out, and rolled his eyes like this, and blinked them at an insane speed, then, sir, I’ve got to say, you would have been absolutely amazed by the genius of the man.”

“I have no doubt of it,” I said.

“I’m sure of it,” I said.

“And then,” said somebody else, “then there was Petit Gaillard, who thought himself a pinch of snuff, and was truly distressed because he could not take himself between his own finger and thumb.”

“And then,” said someone else, “then there was Petit Gaillard, who thought he was a pinch of snuff, and was really upset because he couldn’t pick himself up between his own fingers.”

“And then there was Jules Desoulières, who was a very singular genius, indeed, and went mad with the idea that he was a pumpkin. He persecuted the cook to make him up into pies—a thing which the cook indignantly refused to do. For my part, I am by no means sure that a pumpkin pie à la Desoulières would not have been very capital eating indeed!”

“And then there was Jules Desoulières, who was truly a unique genius and lost his mind believing he was a pumpkin. He kept bothering the cook to turn him into pies—a request the cook angrily refused. As for me, I’m not so sure that a pumpkin pie à la Desoulières wouldn’t have been really delicious!”

“You astonish me!” said I; and I looked inquisitively at Monsieur Maillard.

“You surprise me!” I said, looking curiously at Monsieur Maillard.

“Ha! ha! ha!” said that gentleman—“he! he! he!—hi! hi! hi!—ho! ho! ho!—hu! hu! hu!—very good indeed! You must not be astonished, mon ami; our friend here is a wit—a drôle—you must not understand him to the letter.”

“Ha! ha! ha!” said that guy—“he! he! he!—hi! hi! hi!—ho! ho! ho!—hu! hu! hu!—very good indeed! Don't be surprised, my friend; our buddy here is a smart guy—a funny one—don’t take him too literally.”

“And then,” said some other one of the party,—“then there was Bouffon Le Grand—another extraordinary personage in his way. He grew deranged through love, and fancied himself possessed of two heads. One of these he maintained to be the head of Cicero; the other he imagined a composite one, being Demosthenes’ from the top of the forehead to the mouth, and Lord Brougham’s from the mouth to the chin. It is not impossible that he was wrong; but he would have convinced you of his being in the right; for he was a man of great eloquence. He had an absolute passion for oratory, and could not refrain from display. For example, he used to leap upon the dinner-table thus, and—and—”

“And then,” said someone else in the group, “there was Bouffon Le Grand—another remarkable character in his own way. He went a bit mad from love and believed he had two heads. He claimed one was the head of Cicero; the other, he thought, was a mix—Demosthenes from the forehead to the mouth, and Lord Brougham from the mouth to the chin. It's possible he was mistaken, but he could have convinced you he was right because he was very eloquent. He had a genuine passion for speech and couldn’t hold back from showing off. For instance, he would jump onto the dinner table like this, and—and—”

Here a friend, at the side of the speaker, put a hand upon his shoulder and whispered a few words in his ear; upon which he ceased talking with great suddenness, and sank back within his chair.

Here, a friend next to the speaker put a hand on his shoulder and whispered a few words in his ear. At that, he abruptly stopped talking and sank back into his chair.

“And then,” said the friend who had whispered, “there was Boullard, the tee-totum. I call him the tee-totum because, in fact, he was seized with the droll, but not altogether irrational, crotchet, that he had been converted into a tee-totum. You would have roared with laughter to see him spin. He would turn round upon one heel by the hour, in this manner—so—”

“And then,” said the friend who had whispered, “there was Boullard, the spinning top. I call him the spinning top because he had this funny but not entirely crazy idea that he had turned into a spinning top. You would have laughed out loud to see him spin. He would turn on one heel for hours, like this—so—”

Here the friend whom he had just interrupted by a whisper, performed an exactly similar office for himself.

Here, the friend he had just interrupted with a whisper did the same thing for himself.

“But then,” cried the old lady, at the top of her voice, “your Monsieur Boullard was a madman, and a very silly madman at best; for who, allow me to ask you, ever heard of a human tee-totum? The thing is absurd. Madame Joyeuse was a more sensible person, as you know. She had a crotchet, but it was instinct with common sense, and gave pleasure to all who had the honor of her acquaintance. She found, upon mature deliberation, that, by some accident, she had been turned into a chicken-cock; but, as such, she behaved with propriety. She flapped her wings with prodigious effect—so—so—so—and, as for her crow, it was delicious! Cock-a-doodle-doo!—cock-a-doodle-doo!—cock-a-doodle-de-doo dooo-do-o-o-o-o-o-o!”

“But then,” shouted the old lady, at the top of her lungs, “your Monsieur Boullard was crazy, and honestly a very silly kind of crazy; because who, may I ask, has ever heard of a human top? It's ridiculous. Madame Joyeuse was much more sensible, as you know. She had her quirks, but they were grounded in common sense and brought joy to everyone lucky enough to know her. After giving it some serious thought, she realized, by some chance, that she had turned into a rooster; but, as such, she acted appropriately. She flapped her wings with great impact—so—so—so—and her crow? It was delightful! Cock-a-doodle-doo!—cock-a-doodle-doo!—cock-a-doodle-de-doo dooo-do-o-o-o-o-o-o!”

“Madame Joyeuse, I will thank you to behave yourself!” here interrupted our host, very angrily. “You can either conduct yourself as a lady should do, or you can quit the table forthwith—take your choice.”

“Madame Joyeuse, I need you to be on your best behavior!” our host snapped, clearly angry. “You can either act like a lady or leave the table immediately—it's up to you.”

The lady (whom I was much astonished to hear addressed as Madame Joyeuse, after the description of Madame Joyeuse she had just given) blushed up to the eyebrows, and seemed exceedingly abashed at the reproof. She hung down her head, and said not a syllable in reply. But another and younger lady resumed the theme. It was my beautiful girl of the little parlor.

The woman (whom I was quite shocked to hear called Madame Joyeuse, after the description of Madame Joyeuse she had just given) turned bright red and looked really embarrassed by the criticism. She lowered her head and didn't say a word in response. But another younger woman picked up the topic again. It was my lovely girl from the small parlor.

“Oh, Madame Joyeuse was a fool!” she exclaimed, “but there was really much sound sense, after all, in the opinion of Eugénie Salsafette. She was a very beautiful and painfully modest young lady, who thought the ordinary mode of habiliment indecent, and wished to dress herself, always, by getting outside instead of inside of her clothes. It is a thing very easily done, after all. You have only to do so—and then so—so—so—and then so—so—so—and then so—so—and then—”

“Oh, Madame Joyeuse was such a fool!” she exclaimed, “but there was really a lot of common sense in what Eugénie Salsafette thought. She was a stunningly beautiful and painfully modest young woman who found regular clothing indecent and always wanted to dress herself from the outside rather than inside her clothes. It’s actually pretty easy to do. You just have to do this—and then this—this—this—and then this—this—and then this—this—and then—”

“Mon dieu! Ma’m’selle Salsafette!” here cried a dozen voices at once. “What are you about?—forbear!—that is sufficient!—we see, very plainly, how it is done!—hold! hold!” and several persons were already leaping from their seats to withhold Ma’m’selle Salsafette from putting herself upon a par with the Medicean Venus, when the point was very effectually and suddenly accomplished by a series of loud screams, or yells, from some portion of the main body of the château.

"OMG! Mademoiselle Salsafette!" a dozen voices shouted at once. "What are you doing?—stop!—that's enough!—we can see very clearly how it’s done!—wait! wait!" Several people were already jumping from their seats to stop Mademoiselle Salsafette from trying to compare herself to the Medicean Venus when the moment was abruptly interrupted by a series of loud screams or yells from somewhere in the main part of the château.

My nerves were very much affected, indeed, by these yells; but the rest of the company I really pitied. I never saw any set of reasonable people so thoroughly frightened in my life. They all grew as pale as so many corpses, and, shrinking within their seats, sat quivering and gibbering with terror, and listening for a repetition of the sound. It came again—louder and seemingly nearer—and then a third time very loud, and then a fourth time with a vigor evidently diminished. At this apparent dying away of the noise, the spirits of the company were immediately regained, and all was life and anecdote as before. I now ventured to inquire the cause of the disturbance.

I was definitely rattled by those screams; but I really felt sorry for the rest of the group. I had never seen anyone so completely terrified in my life. They all turned as pale as ghosts, and huddled in their seats, shaking and mumbling in fear, waiting for the sound to happen again. It did—louder and seemingly closer—and then a third time, very loudly, and then a fourth time, with much less intensity. As the noise faded away, everyone’s spirits lifted, and it was all lively conversation and stories again. I decided to ask what had caused the commotion.

“A mere bagatelle,” said Monsieur Maillard. “We are used to these things, and care really very little about them. The lunatics, every now and then, get up a howl in concert; one starting another, as is sometimes the case with a bevy of dogs at night. It occasionally happens, however, that the concerto yells are succeeded by a simultaneous effort at breaking loose; when, of course, some little danger is to be apprehended.”

“A mere bagatelle,” said Monsieur Maillard. “We’re used to this stuff and really don’t care much about it. The crazies sometimes start a commotion together, one triggering another, like a pack of dogs howling at night. However, sometimes those concerto yells are followed by a coordinated attempt to break free; when that happens, there’s a bit of danger to worry about.”

“And how many have you in charge?”

“And how many do you oversee?”

“At present we have not more than ten, altogether.”

“At the moment, we have no more than ten in total.”

“Principally females, I presume?”

"Mostly females, I assume?"

“Oh, no—every one of them men, and stout fellows, too, I can tell you.”

“Oh, no—every one of those men, and strong ones, too, I can tell you.”

“Indeed! I have always understood that the majority of lunatics were of the gentler sex.”

“Absolutely! I've always thought that most crazy people were women.”

“It is generally so, but not always. Some time ago, there were about twenty-seven patients here; and, of that number, no less than eighteen were women; but, lately, matters have changed very much, as you see.”

“It’s usually the case, but not always. Some time ago, there were about twenty-seven patients here, and out of that number, no less than eighteen were women. But recently, things have changed quite a bit, as you can see.”

“Yes—have changed very much, as you see,” here interrupted the gentleman who had broken the shins of Ma’m’selle Laplace.

“Yes—I've changed quite a bit, as you can see,” the gentleman who had injured Ma’m’selle Laplace interrupted.

“Yes—have changed very much, as you see!” chimed in the whole company at once.

“Yes—things have changed a lot, as you can see!” the entire group chimed in together.

“Hold your tongues, every one of you!” said my host, in a great rage. Whereupon the whole company maintained a dead silence for nearly a minute. As for one lady, she obeyed Monsieur Maillard to the letter, and thrusting out her tongue, which was an excessively long one, held it very resignedly, with both hands, until the end of the entertainment.

“Be quiet, all of you!” my host shouted, clearly furious. The entire group fell silent for almost a minute. One lady took Monsieur Maillard’s command literally; she stuck out her tongue, which was really long, and held it patiently with both hands until the end of the event.

“And this gentlewoman,” said I, to Monsieur Maillard, bending over and addressing him in a whisper—“this good lady who has just spoken, and who gives us the cock-a-doodle-de-doo—she, I presume, is harmless—quite harmless, eh?”

“And this lady,” I said to Monsieur Maillard, leaning in and speaking in a whisper—“this good woman who just spoke, and who gives us the cock-a-doodle-de-doo—she, I assume, is harmless—totally harmless, right?”

“Harmless!” ejaculated he, in unfeigned surprise, “why—why, what can you mean?”

“Harmless!” he exclaimed in genuine surprise, “what do you mean?”

“Only slightly touched?” said I, touching my head. “I take it for granted that she is not particularly not dangerously affected, eh?”

“Only a little bit affected?” I said, touching my head. “I assume she’s not really in any serious trouble, right?”

Mon dieu! what is it you imagine? This lady, my particular old friend Madame Joyeuse, is as absolutely sane as myself. She has her little eccentricities, to be sure—but then, you know, all old women—all very old women—are more or less eccentric!”

My God! what do you imagine? This lady, my dear old friend Madame Joyeuse, is just as completely sane as I am. She has her little quirks, for sure—but then, you know, all old women—all very old women—are more or less quirky!”

“To be sure,” said I,—“to be sure—and then the rest of these ladies and gentlemen—”

“To be sure,” I said, “to be sure—and then the rest of these ladies and gentlemen—”

“Are my friends and keepers,” interupted Monsieur Maillard, drawing himself up with hauteur,—“my very good friends and assistants.”

“Are my friends and keepers,” interrupted Monsieur Maillard, straightening himself with hauteur,—“my very good friends and helpers.”

“What! all of them?” I asked,—“the women and all?”

“What! All of them?” I asked, “The women and everything?”

“Assuredly,” he said,—“we could not do at all without the women; they are the best lunatic nurses in the world; they have a way of their own, you know; their bright eyes have a marvellous effect—something like the fascination of the snake, you know.”

“Definitely,” he said, “we really couldn't manage without the women; they're the best caregivers for the mentally ill in the world; they have their own unique way, you know; their bright eyes have an incredible effect—kind of like the allure of a snake, you know.”

“To be sure,” said I,—“to be sure! They behave a little odd, eh?—they are a little queer, eh?—don’t you think so?”

“To be sure,” I said, “to be sure! They act a bit strange, right?—they’re a little different, don’t you think?”

“Odd!—queer!—why, do you really think so? We are not very prudish, to be sure, here in the South—do pretty much as we please—enjoy life, and all that sort of thing, you know—”

“Strange!—weird!—do you really think that? We're not very uptight about things down here in the South—we pretty much do what we want—enjoy life and all that good stuff, you know—”

“To be sure,” said I,—“to be sure.”

“To be sure,” I said, “to be sure.”

“And then, perhaps, this Clos de Vougeot is a little heady, you know—a little strong—you understand, eh?”

“And then, maybe, this Clos de Vougeot is a bit intense, you know—a bit heavy—you get what I mean, right?”

“To be sure,” said I,—“to be sure. By the bye, Monsieur, did I understand you to say that the system you have adopted, in place of the celebrated soothing system, was one of very rigorous severity?”

“To be sure,” I said, “to be sure. By the way, sir, did I understand you correctly when you said that the system you’ve adopted instead of the famous soothing method is one of very strict severity?”

“By no means. Our confinement is necessarily close; but the treatment—the medical treatment, I mean—is rather agreeable to the patients than otherwise.”

“Not at all. Our living situation is definitely tight, but the care—the medical care, I’m talking about—is more pleasant for the patients than anything else.”

“And the new system is one of your own invention?”

“And this new system is something you came up with on your own?”

“Not altogether. Some portions of it are referable to Professor Tarr, of whom you have, necessarily, heard; and, again, there are modifications in my plan which I am happy to acknowledge as belonging of right to the celebrated Fether, with whom, if I mistake not, you have the honor of an intimate acquaintance.”

“Not completely. Some parts of it come from Professor Tarr, whom you’ve likely heard about; and, there are changes in my plan that I gladly credit to the famous Fether, with whom, if I'm not mistaken, you have the privilege of a close connection.”

“I am quite ashamed to confess,” I replied, “that I have never even heard the names of either gentleman before.”

“I’m really ashamed to admit,” I replied, “that I’ve never even heard the names of either of those guys before.”

“Good heavens!” ejaculated my host, drawing back his chair abruptly, and uplifting his hands. “I surely do not hear you aright! You did not intend to say, eh? that you had never heard either of the learned Doctor Tarr, or of the celebrated Professor Fether?”

“Good heavens!” my host exclaimed, pulling his chair back sharply and raising his hands. “I can’t possibly be hearing you correctly! You didn’t mean to say, did you, that you’ve never heard of the renowned Doctor Tarr or the famous Professor Fether?”

“I am forced to acknowledge my ignorance,” I replied; “but the truth should be held inviolate above all things. Nevertheless, I feel humbled to the dust, not to be acquainted with the works of these, no doubt, extraordinary men. I will seek out their writings forthwith, and peruse them with deliberate care. Monsieur Maillard, you have really—I must confess it—you have really—made me ashamed of myself!”

“I have to admit my ignorance,” I replied; “but the truth should always be respected above everything else. Still, I feel completely humbled for not being familiar with the works of these undoubtedly remarkable men. I will find their writings right away and read them carefully. Monsieur Maillard, you have truly—I have to admit—you have really—made me feel ashamed of myself!”

And this was the fact.

And this was the truth.

“Say no more, my good young friend,” he said kindly, pressing my hand,—“join me now in a glass of Sauterne.”

“Say no more, my good young friend,” he said kindly, shaking my hand, “join me now for a glass of Sauterne.”

We drank. The company followed our example without stint. They chatted—they jested—they laughed—they perpetrated a thousand absurdities—the fiddles shrieked—the drum row-de-dowed—the trombones bellowed like so many brazen bulls of Phalaris—and the whole scene, growing gradually worse and worse, as the wines gained the ascendancy, became at length a sort of pandemonium in petto. In the meantime, Monsieur Maillard and myself, with some bottles of Sauterne and Vougeot between us, continued our conversation at the top of the voice. A word spoken in an ordinary key stood no more chance of being heard than the voice of a fish from the bottom of Niagara Falls.

We drank. The others quickly followed our lead without holding back. They chatted, joked, laughed, and pulled off a thousand ridiculous stunts. The fiddles screeched, the drums boomed, and the trombones roared like a bunch of loud bulls. As the night went on and the wine kept flowing, the whole scene turned into a wild chaos. Meanwhile, Monsieur Maillard and I, with some bottles of Sauterne and Vougeot between us, continued our conversation at the top of our lungs. A word spoken at a normal volume stood no chance of being heard, much like a fish trying to talk at the bottom of Niagara Falls.

“And, sir,” said I, screaming in his ear, “you mentioned something before dinner about the danger incurred in the old system of soothing. How is that?”

“And, sir,” I said, shouting in his ear, “you mentioned something earlier about the risks involved in the old way of soothing. What do you mean by that?”

“Yes,” he replied, “there was, occasionally, very great danger indeed. There is no accounting for the caprices of madmen; and, in my opinion as well as in that of Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether, it is never safe to permit them to run at large unattended. A lunatic may be ‘soothed,’ as it is called, for a time, but, in the end, he is very apt to become obstreperous. His cunning, too, is proverbial and great. If he has a project in view, he conceals his design with a marvellous wisdom; and the dexterity with which he counterfeits sanity, presents, to the metaphysician, one of the most singular problems in the study of mind. When a madman appears thoroughly sane, indeed, it is high time to put him in a straitjacket.”

“Yes,” he replied, “there was sometimes very real danger. You can't predict the whims of madmen, and both Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether agree with me that it’s never safe to let them roam free without supervision. A lunatic might be 'soothed,' as they say, for a while, but eventually, he’s likely to become unruly. His cleverness is also well-known and significant. If he has a scheme in mind, he hides his intentions with remarkable skill, and the way he fakes sanity poses a unique challenge for those studying the mind. When a madman seems completely sane, it’s definitely time to put him in a straitjacket.”

“But the danger, my dear sir, of which you were speaking, in your own experience—during your control of this house—have you had practical reason to think liberty hazardous in the case of a lunatic?”

“But the danger, my dear sir, that you were talking about, in your own experience—while you were in charge of this house—have you found any practical reason to believe that giving freedom to a lunatic is risky?”

“Here?—in my own experience?—why, I may say, yes. For example:—no very long while ago, a singular circumstance occurred in this very house. The ‘soothing system,’ you know, was then in operation, and the patients were at large. They behaved remarkably well—especially so—any one of sense might have known that some devilish scheme was brewing from that particular fact, that the fellows behaved so remarkably well. And, sure enough, one fine morning the keepers found themselves pinioned hand and foot, and thrown into the cells, where they were attended, as if they were the lunatics, by the lunatics themselves, who had usurped the offices of the keepers.”

“Here?—in my own experience?—well, I can definitely say yes. For instance: not too long ago, a strange event took place in this very house. The ‘soothing system,’ as you know, was in effect, and the patients were free to roam. They acted remarkably well—especially so—that anyone with common sense could have figured out that some sinister plan was in the works, just from the fact that the guys were behaving so exceptionally. And sure enough, one fine morning, the staff found themselves tied up hand and foot and locked in the cells, where they were looked after, as if they were the crazy ones, by the very patients who had taken over the roles of the staff.”

“You don’t tell me so! I never heard of any thing so absurd in my life!”

"You can't be serious! I've never heard anything so ridiculous in my life!"

“Fact—it all came to pass by means of a stupid fellow—a lunatic—who, by some means, had taken it into his head that he had invented a better system of government than any ever heard of before—of lunatic government, I mean. He wished to give his invention a trial, I suppose, and so he persuaded the rest of the patients to join him in a conspiracy for the overthrow of the reigning powers.”

“Fact—everything happened because of a fool—a crazy person—who, for some reason, got it into his head that he had come up with a better system of government than anyone had ever thought of before—specifically, a crazy government. I guess he wanted to put his idea to the test, so he convinced the other patients to join him in a plot to overthrow the current authorities.”

“And he really succeeded?”

"And he actually succeeded?"

“No doubt of it. The keepers and kept were soon made to exchange places. Not that exactly either—for the madmen had been free, but the keepers were shut up in cells forthwith, and treated, I am sorry to say, in a very cavalier manner.”

“No doubt about it. The keepers and the inmates were quickly forced to switch roles. Not exactly like that, though—because the madmen had been free, but the keepers were locked up in cells right away and, I regret to say, treated very casually.”

“But I presume a counter-revolution was soon effected. This condition of things could not have long existed. The country people in the neighborhood—visitors coming to see the establishment—would have given the alarm.”

“But I assume a counter-revolution was quickly put into action. This situation couldn't have lasted long. The local residents nearby—visitors coming to see the place—would have raised the alarm.”

“There you are out. The head rebel was too cunning for that. He admitted no visitors at all—with the exception, one day, of a very stupid-looking young gentleman of whom he had no reason to be afraid. He let him in to see the place—just by way of variety,—to have a little fun with him. As soon as he had gammoned him sufficiently, he let him out, and sent him about his business.”

“There you are. The main rebel was too clever for that. He didn't allow any visitors at all—except for one day when he let in a very naïve-looking young man he had no reason to worry about. He showed him around the place—just for a change of pace—to have a little fun with him. Once he had played with him enough, he let him go and sent him on his way.”

“And how long, then, did the madmen reign?”

“And how long, then, did the crazy people rule?”

“Oh, a very long time, indeed—a month certainly—how much longer I can’t precisely say. In the meantime, the lunatics had a jolly season of it—that you may swear. They doffed their own shabby clothes, and made free with the family wardrobe and jewels. The cellars of the château were well stocked with wine; and these madmen are just the devils that know how to drink it. They lived well, I can tell you.”

“Oh, it’s been a very long time, for sure—a month, definitely—how much longer, I can’t say exactly. Meanwhile, the crazies had a great time—that you can count on. They took off their own ragged clothes and helped themselves to the family wardrobe and jewelry. The cellars of the château were fully stocked with wine; and these lunatics are just the ones who know how to enjoy it. They lived well, believe me.”

“And the treatment—what was the particular species of treatment which the leader of the rebels put into operation?”

“And the treatment—what type of treatment did the leader of the rebels implement?”

“Why, as for that, a madman is not necessarily a fool, as I have already observed; and it is my honest opinion that his treatment was a much better treatment than that which it superseded. It was a very capital system indeed—simple—neat—no trouble at all—in fact it was delicious—it was—”

“Why, for that matter, a madman isn’t necessarily a fool, as I’ve already mentioned; and I truly believe that his treatment was a way better option than what came before. It was a really great system—simple—clean—no hassle at all—in fact, it was awesome—it was—”

Here my host’s observations were cut short by another series of yells, of the same character as those which had previously disconcerted us. This time, however, they seemed to proceed from persons rapidly approaching.

Here my host’s comments were interrupted by another round of screams, similar to the ones that had confused us earlier. This time, though, they sounded like they were coming from people who were quickly getting closer.

“Gracious heavens!” I ejaculated—“the lunatics have most undoubtedly broken loose.”

“Good heavens!” I exclaimed—“the crazy people have definitely gotten loose.”

“I very much fear it is so,” replied Monsieur Maillard, now becoming excessively pale. He had scarcely finished the sentence, before loud shouts and imprecations were heard beneath the windows; and, immediately afterward, it became evident that some persons outside were endeavoring to gain entrance into the room. The door was beaten with what appeared to be a sledge-hammer, and the shutters were wrenched and shaken with prodigious violence.

“I really fear that’s the case,” replied Monsieur Maillard, now turning extremely pale. He had barely finished speaking when loud shouts and curses echoed beneath the windows, and it quickly became clear that some people outside were trying to force their way into the room. The door was pounded with what sounded like a sledgehammer, and the shutters were yanked and shaken with incredible force.

A scene of the most terrible confusion ensued. Monsieur Maillard, to my excessive astonishment threw himself under the side-board. I had expected more resolution at his hands. The members of the orchestra, who, for the last fifteen minutes, had been seemingly too much intoxicated to do duty, now sprang all at once to their feet and to their instruments, and, scrambling upon their table, broke out, with one accord, into, “Yankee Doodle,” which they performed, if not exactly in tune, at least with an energy superhuman, during the whole of the uproar.

A scene of absolute chaos broke out. To my shock, Monsieur Maillard threw himself under the sideboard. I had expected him to be more resolute. The members of the orchestra, who had seemed too drunk to play for the last fifteen minutes, suddenly jumped to their feet, grabbed their instruments, and, scrambling onto their table, started playing “Yankee Doodle” all together. They might not have been perfectly in tune, but they played with an incredible energy throughout the whole commotion.

Meantime, upon the main dining-table, among the bottles and glasses, leaped the gentleman who, with such difficulty, had been restrained from leaping there before. As soon as he fairly settled himself, he commenced an oration, which, no doubt, was a very capital one, if it could only have been heard. At the same moment, the man with the teetotum predilection, set himself to spinning around the apartment, with immense energy, and with arms outstretched at right angles with his body; so that he had all the air of a tee-totum in fact, and knocked everybody down that happened to get in his way. And now, too, hearing an incredible popping and fizzing of champagne, I discovered at length, that it proceeded from the person who performed the bottle of that delicate drink during dinner. And then, again, the frog-man croaked away as if the salvation of his soul depended upon every note that he uttered. And, in the midst of all this, the continuous braying of a donkey arose over all. As for my old friend, Madame Joyeuse, I really could have wept for the poor lady, she appeared so terribly perplexed. All she did, however, was to stand up in a corner, by the fireplace, and sing out incessantly at the top of her voice, “Cock-a-doodle-de-dooooooh!”

In the meantime, on the main dining table, among the bottles and glasses, the gentleman who had been held back from jumping there earlier leaped up. As soon as he got comfortable, he started giving a speech that, if anyone could have heard it, was probably really great. At the same time, the guy who loved to spin was energetically twirling around the room with his arms extended like a windmill, knocking down anyone who got in his way. Then, I finally noticed the loud popping and fizzing of champagne—it was coming from the person who was pouring that fancy drink at dinner. Meanwhile, the frog-man was croaking away as if his very soul depended on every note he sang. Amid all this chaos, the continuous braying of a donkey could be heard above everything else. As for my old friend, Madame Joyeuse, I almost felt like crying for her; she looked so confused. All she did, though, was stand in a corner by the fireplace and yell at the top of her lungs, “Cock-a-doodle-de-dooooooh!”

And now came the climax—the catastrophe of the drama. As no resistance, beyond whooping and yelling and cock-a-doodling, was offered to the encroachments of the party without, the ten windows were very speedily, and almost simultaneously, broken in. But I shall never forget the emotions of wonder and horror with which I gazed, when, leaping through these windows, and down among us pêle-mêle, fighting, stamping, scratching, and howling, there rushed a perfect army of what I took to be chimpanzees, ourang-outangs, or big black baboons of the Cape of Good Hope.

And now came the climax—the disaster of the drama. Since there was no real resistance, other than some whooping, yelling, and crowing, the ten windows were quickly, and almost simultaneously, shattered. But I'll never forget the mix of wonder and horror I felt as I watched a perfect army of what I thought were chimpanzees, orangutans, or large black baboons from the Cape of Good Hope leap through those windows and rush down among us, fighting, stomping, scratching, and howling.

I received a terrible beating—after which I rolled under a sofa and lay still. After lying there some fifteen minutes, during which time I listened with all my ears to what was going on in the room, I came to same satisfactory dénouement of this tragedy. Monsieur Maillard, it appeared, in giving me the account of the lunatic who had excited his fellows to rebellion, had been merely relating his own exploits. This gentleman had, indeed, some two or three years before, been the superintendent of the establishment, but grew crazy himself, and so became a patient. This fact was unknown to the travelling companion who introduced me. The keepers, ten in number, having been suddenly overpowered, were first well tarred, then carefully feathered, and then shut up in underground cells. They had been so imprisoned for more than a month, during which period Monsieur Maillard had generously allowed them not only the tar and feathers (which constituted his “system”), but some bread and abundance of water. The latter was pumped on them daily. At length, one escaping through a sewer, gave freedom to all the rest.

I got a brutal beating—after which I crawled under a sofa and stayed quiet. After lying there for about fifteen minutes, during which I listened intently to what was happening in the room, I figured out the resolution of this drama. It turned out that Monsieur Maillard, while telling me about the lunatic who had incited his peers to revolt, had simply been recounting his own adventures. This man had actually been the superintendent of the facility a couple of years before, but he had lost his mind and ended up becoming a patient himself. This fact was unknown to the traveling companion who had introduced me. The ten keepers, who had been suddenly overpowered, were first thoroughly covered in tar, then carefully dressed in feathers, and finally locked away in underground cells. They had been imprisoned like that for over a month, during which time Monsieur Maillard generously provided them not just with tar and feathers (which were part of his "system"), but also some bread and plenty of water. The latter was pumped onto them every day. Eventually, one of them escaped through a sewer and freed the rest.

The “soothing system,” with important modifications, has been resumed at the château; yet I cannot help agreeing with Monsieur Maillard, that his own “treatment” was a very capital one of its kind. As he justly observed, it was “simple—neat—and gave no trouble at all—not the least.”

The “soothing system,” with significant changes, has been restarted at the château; however, I can't help but agree with Monsieur Maillard that his own “treatment” was a top-notch option in its category. As he rightly pointed out, it was “simple—neat—and required no effort at all—not the slightest.”

I have only to add that, although I have searched every library in Europe for the works of Doctor Tarr and Professor Fether, I have, up to the present day, utterly failed in my endeavors at procuring an edition.

I just want to add that, even though I've searched every library in Europe for the works of Doctor Tarr and Professor Fether, I've completely failed to find a single edition up to now.

THE LITERARY LIFE OF THINGUM BOB, ESQ.

LATE EDITOR OF THE “GOOSETHERUMFOODLE.”
By Himself

I am now growing in years, and—since I understand that Shakespeare and Mr. Emmons are deceased—it is not impossible that I may even die. It has occurred to me, therefore, that I may as well retire from the field of Letters and repose upon my laurels. But I am ambitious of signalizing my abdication of the literary sceptre by some important bequest to posterity; and, perhaps, I cannot do a better thing than just pen for it an account of my earlier career. My name, indeed, has been so long and so constantly before the public eye, that I am not only willing to admit the naturalness of the interest which it has everywhere excited, but ready to satisfy the extreme curiosity which it has inspired. In fact, it is no more than the duty of him who achieves greatness to leave behind him, in his ascent, such landmarks as may guide others to be great. I propose, therefore, in the present paper, (which I had some idea of calling “Memoranda to serve for the Literary History of America,”) to give a detail of those important, yet feeble and tottering first steps, by which, at length, I attained the high road to the pinnacle of human renown.

I’m getting older now, and since I know that Shakespeare and Mr. Emmons have passed away, it's possible that I might die too. Because of this, I’ve been thinking that it might be time for me to step back from the world of letters and relax on my achievements. However, I want to mark my departure from the literary scene with a significant gift to future generations; and maybe the best way to do that is to write down the story of my early career. My name has been in the public eye for so long that I’m not only aware of the natural curiosity it has sparked everywhere, but I’m also eager to satisfy that interest. In fact, it’s the responsibility of anyone who reaches greatness to leave behind some markers along the way that can help others achieve greatness. So, in this paper (which I was thinking of calling “Memoranda to Serve for the Literary History of America”), I plan to detail those important, yet shaky first steps that eventually led me to the path of achieving great recognition.

Of one’s very remote ancestors it is superfluous to say much. My father, Thomas Bob, Esq., stood for many years at the summit of his profession, which was that of a merchant-barber, in the city of Smug. His warehouse was the resort of all the principal people of the place, and especially of the editorial corps—a body which inspires all about it with profound veneration and awe. For my own part, I regarded them as gods, and drank in with avidity the rich wit and wisdom which continuously flowed from their august mouths during the process of what is styled “lather.” My first moment of positive inspiration must be dated from that ever-memorable epoch, when the brilliant conductor of the “Gad-Fly,” in the intervals of the important process just mentioned, recited aloud, before a conclave of our apprentices, an inimitable poem in honor of the “Only Genuine Oil-of-Bob,” (so called from its talented inventor, my father,) and for which effusion the editor of the “Fly” was remunerated with a regal liberality by the firm of Thomas Bob & company, merchant-barbers.

Of one’s distant ancestors, there’s not much to say. My father, Thomas Bob, Esq., was a top merchant-barber in the city of Smug for many years. His shop was the go-to place for all the prominent locals, especially the editorial team—a group that commands deep respect and admiration. Personally, I viewed them as gods and eagerly absorbed the clever wit and wisdom that flowed from their esteemed mouths while they were busy “lathering.” My first true moment of inspiration came from that unforgettable time when the brilliant editor of the “Gad-Fly,” during a break in the important process I just mentioned, recited an amazing poem in honor of the “Only Genuine Oil-of-Bob” (named after its talented creator, my father), for which the editor was generously rewarded by Thomas Bob & company, merchant-barbers.

The genius of the stanzas to the “Oil-of-Bob” first breathed into me, I say, the divine afflatus. I resolved at once to become a great man, and to commence by becoming a great poet. That very evening I fell upon my knees at the feet of my father.

The brilliance of the verses to the “Oil-of-Bob” first inspired me, I must say, with a divine creativity. I immediately decided to become a great person, starting by becoming a great poet. That very evening, I knelt at my father's feet.

“Father,” I said, “pardon me!—but I have a soul above lather. It is my firm intention to cut the shop. I would be an editor—I would be a poet—I would pen stanzas to the ‘Oil-of-Bob.’ Pardon me and aid me to be great!”

“Dad,” I said, “excuse me!—but I have greater aspirations than just working in the shop. I really want to quit and become an editor—I want to be a poet—I want to write verses for the ‘Oil-of-Bob.’ Please forgive me and help me achieve greatness!”

“My dear Thingum,” replied my father, (I had been christened Thingum after a wealthy relative so surnamed,) “My dear Thingum,” he said, raising me from my knees by the ears—“Thingum, my boy, you’re a trump, and take after your father in having a soul. You have an immense head, too, and it must hold a great many brains. This I have long seen, and therefore had thoughts of making you a lawyer. The business, however, has grown ungenteel, and that of a politician don’t pay. Upon the whole you judge wisely;—the trade of editor is best:—and if you can be a poet at the same time,—as most of the editors are, by the by,—why you will kill two birds with one stone. To encourage you in the beginning of things, I will allow you a garret; pen, ink, and paper; a rhyming dictionary; and a copy of the ‘Gad-Fly.’ I suppose you would scarcely demand any more.”

“My dear Thingum,” my father said, (I was named Thingum after a wealthy relative with the same name), “My dear Thingum,” he continued, lifting me up by my ears, “Thingum, my boy, you’re a gem, and you take after your father in having a great spirit. You have a huge head, too, and it must hold a lot of brains. I’ve noticed this for a while, which is why I thought about making you a lawyer. However, the profession has become quite tacky, and being a politician doesn’t pay well either. Overall, you’re making a smart choice; being an editor is the best route: and if you can also be a poet at the same time, like most editors are, then you’ll be killing two birds with one stone. To support you as you start out, I’ll provide you with a attic space; pen, ink, and paper; a rhyming dictionary; and a copy of the ‘Gad-Fly.’ I figure you wouldn’t ask for much more than that.”

“I would be an ungrateful villain if I did,” I replied with enthusiasm. “Your generosity is boundless. I will repay it by making you the father of a genius.”

“I would be an ungrateful jerk if I did,” I replied excitedly. “Your kindness knows no limits. I’ll repay you by making you the father of a genius.”

Thus ended my conference with the best of men, and immediately upon its termination, I betook myself with zeal to my poetical labors; as upon these, chiefly, I founded my hopes of ultimate elevation to the editorial chair.

Thus ended my meeting with the best of men, and right after it, I eagerly turned to my writing; I mainly hoped to achieve my ultimate goal of becoming an editor through this work.

In my first attempts at composition I found the stanzas to “The Oil-of-Bob” rather a draw-back than otherwise. Their splendor more dazzled than enlightened me. The contemplation of their excellence tended, naturally, to discourage me by comparison with my own abortions; so that for a long time I labored in vain. At length there came into my head one of those exquisitely original ideas which now and then will permeate the brain of a man of genius. It was this:—or, rather, thus was it carried into execution. From the rubbish of an old book-stall, in a very remote corner of the town, I got together several antique and altogether unknown or forgotten volumes. The bookseller sold them to me for a song. From one of these, which purported to be a translation of one Dante’s “Inferno,” I copied with remarkable neatness a long passage about a man named Ugolino, who had a parcel of brats. From another which contained a good many old plays by some person whose name I forget, I extracted in the same manner, and with the same care, a great number of lines about “angels” and “ministers saying grace,” and “goblins damned,” and more besides of that sort. From a third, which was the composition of some blind man or other, either a Greek or a Choctaw—I cannot be at the pains of remembering every trifle exactly—I took about fifty verses beginning with “Achilles’ wrath,” and “grease,” and something else. From a fourth, which I recollect was also the work of a blind man, I selected a page or two all about “hail” and “holy light”; and although a blind man has no business to write about light, still the verses were sufficiently good in their way.

In my early attempts at writing, I found the stanzas of “The Oil-of-Bob” more of a hindrance than a help. Their brilliance dazzled me more than it inspired me. Thinking about their excellence naturally discouraged me when I compared it to my own failures, so for a long time, I struggled without success. Eventually, an incredibly original idea popped into my head, one of those moments of inspiration that occasionally strike a genius. Here’s what happened: I gathered some old and completely forgotten books from a dusty corner of an old bookshop in town. The bookseller sold them to me for next to nothing. From one of these, which claimed to be a translation of Dante’s “Inferno,” I carefully copied a long section about a guy named Ugolino and his kids. From another book, filled with many old plays by an author I can’t remember, I extracted diligently a bunch of lines about “angels,” “ministers saying grace,” “damned goblins,” and other similar stuff. From a third book, which was written by some blind guy—either a Greek or a Choctaw, I can't remember all the details—I took about fifty lines that started with “Achilles' wrath,” “grease,” and something else. From a fourth book, which I also remember was by a blind author, I picked a couple of pages about “hail” and “holy light.” Even though a blind person shouldn't be writing about light, the verses were still pretty good in their own way.

Having made fair copies of these poems, I signed every one of them “Oppodeldoc,” (a fine sonorous name,) and, doing each up nicely in a separate envelope, I despatched one to each of the four principal Magazines, with a request for speedy insertion and prompt pay. The result of this well conceived plan, however, (the success of which would have saved me much trouble in after life,) served to convince me that some editors are not to be bamboozled, and gave the coup-de-grace (as they say in France,) to my nascent hopes, (as they say in the city of the transcendentals.)

After making neat copies of these poems, I signed each one “Oppodeldoc,” (a great-sounding name) and carefully packed them in separate envelopes. I sent one to each of the four main magazines, asking for quick publication and fast payment. However, the outcome of this well-thought-out plan, which would have saved me a lot of trouble later on, showed me that some editors can’t be fooled, and it dealt a final blow (as they say in France) to my budding hopes (as they say in the realm of the profound thinkers).

The fact is, that each and every one of the Magazines in question, gave Mr. “Oppodeldoc” a complete using-up, in the “Monthly Notices to Correspondents.” The “Hum-Drum” gave him a dressing after this fashion:

The truth is, every single one of the magazines involved completely took Mr. “Oppodeldoc” to task in the “Monthly Notices to Correspondents.” The “Hum-Drum” criticized him like this:

“‘Oppodeldoc,’ (whoever he is,) has sent us a long tirade concerning a bedlamite whom he styles ‘Ugolino,’ who had a great many children that should have been all whipped and sent to bed without their suppers. The whole affair is exceedingly tame—not to say flat. ‘Oppodeldoc,’ (whoever he is,) is entirely devoid of imagination—and imagination, in our humble opinion, is not only the soul of Poesy, but also its very heart. ‘Oppodeldoc,’ (whoever he is,) has the audacity to demand of us, for his twattle, a ‘speedy insertion and prompt pay.’ We neither insert nor purchase any stuff of the sort. There can be no doubt, however, that he would meet with a ready sale for all the balderdash he can scribble, at the office of either the ‘Rowdy-Dow,’ the ‘Lollipop,’ or the ‘Goosetherumfoodle.’”

“‘Oppodeldoc,’ (whoever that is,) has sent us a long rant about a crazy person he calls ‘Ugolino,’ who had a bunch of kids that should have all been punished and sent to bed without dinner. The whole situation is super boring—not to mention flat. ‘Oppodeldoc,’ (whoever he is,) has no imagination at all—and, in our humble opinion, imagination is not just the soul of poetry, but also its very heart. ‘Oppodeldoc,’ (whoever he is,) has the nerve to demand from us, for his nonsense, a ‘quick insertion and prompt payment.’ We neither publish nor buy any content like that. There’s no doubt, however, that he would easily find buyers for all the nonsense he can write, at the office of either the ‘Rowdy-Dow,’ the ‘Lollipop,’ or the ‘Goosetherumfoodle.’”

All this, it must be acknowledged, was very severe upon “Oppodeldoc”—but the unkindest cut was putting the word Poesy in small caps. In those five pre-eminent letters what a world of bitterness is there not involved!

All of this, it has to be admitted, was really harsh on “Oppodeldoc”—but the most hurtful thing was putting the word Poesy in small caps. In those five standout letters, what a world of bitterness is wrapped up!

But “Oppodeldoc” was punished with equal severity in the “Rowdy-Dow,” which spoke thus:

But “Oppodeldoc” was punished with the same seriousness in the “Rowdy-Dow,” which said this:

“We have received a most singular and insolent communication from a person (whoever he is,) signing himself ‘Oppodeldoc’—thus desecrating the greatness of the illustrious Roman Emperor so named. Accompanying the letter of ‘Oppodeldoc,’ (whoever he is,) we find sundry lines of most disgusting and unmeaning rant about ‘angels and ministers of grace’—rant such as no madman short of a Nat Lee, or an ‘Oppodeldoc,’ could possibly perpetrate. And for this trash of trash, we are modestly requested to ‘pay promptly.’ No sir—no! We pay for nothing of that sort. Apply to the ‘Hum-Drum,’ the ‘Lollipop,’ or the ‘Goosetherumfoodle.’ These periodicals will undoubtedly accept any literary offal you may send them—and as undoubtedly promise to pay for it.”

“We have received a very strange and rude message from someone (whoever they are) calling themselves ‘Oppodeldoc’—a name that disrespects the greatness of the famous Roman Emperor it refers to. Along with the letter from ‘Oppodeldoc’ (whoever they are), we found multiple lines of utterly disgusting and meaningless rants about ‘angels and ministers of grace’— rants that no madman short of a Nat Lee or an ‘Oppodeldoc’ could possibly produce. And for this garbage of garbage, we are politely asked to ‘pay promptly.’ No, thank you—no! We won’t pay for anything like that. Go to the ‘Hum-Drum,’ the ‘Lollipop,’ or the ‘Goosetherumfoodle.’ These periodicals will surely accept any literary trash you send them—and they will just as surely promise to pay for it.”

This was bitter indeed upon poor “Oppodeldoc”; but, in this instance, the weight of the satire falls upon the “Hum-drum,” the “Lollipop,” and the “Goosetherumfoodle,” who are pungently styled “periodicals”—in Italics, too—a thing that must have cut them to the heart.

This was really harsh on poor "Oppodeldoc"; however, in this case, the brunt of the satire falls on the "Hum-drum," the "Lollipop," and the "Goosetherumfoodle," who are sharply labeled as "periodicals"—in italics, no less—a detail that must have stung them deeply.

Scarcely less savage was the “Lollipop,” which thus discoursed:

Scarcely less savage was the “Lollipop,” which said:

“Some individual, who rejoices in the appellation ‘Oppodeldoc,’ (to what low uses are the names of the illustrious dead too often applied!) has enclosed us some fifty or sixty verses commencing after this fashion:

“Some individual, who goes by the name ‘Oppodeldoc,’ (how frequently the names of the great dead are used for such low purposes!) has sent us about fifty or sixty verses starting like this:

Achilles’ wrath, to Greece the direful spring
Of woes unnumbered, &c., &c., &c., &c.

Achilles' anger, the source of countless troubles for Greece,
Of uncountable woes, etc., etc., etc., etc.

“‘Oppodeldoc,’ (whoever he is,) is respectfully informed that there is not a printer’s devil in our office who is not in the daily habit of composing better lines. Those of ‘Oppodeldoc’ will not scan. ‘Oppodeldoc’ should learn to count. But why he should have conceived the idea that we, (of all others, we!) would disgrace our pages with his ineffable nonsense, is utterly beyond comprehension. Why, the absurd twattle is scarcely good enough for the ‘Hum-Drum,’ the ‘Rowdy-Dow,’ the ‘Goosetherumfoodle’—things that are in the practice of publishing ‘Mother Goose’s Melodies’ as original lyrics. And ‘Oppodeldoc’ (whoever he is,) has even the assurance to demand pay for this drivel. Does ‘Oppodeldoc,’ (whoever he is,) know—is he aware that we could not be paid to insert it?”

“‘Oppodeldoc,’ (whoever you are,) is respectfully informed that there isn’t a single person in our office who doesn’t regularly write better lines. Your work doesn’t scan. ‘Oppodeldoc’ should learn to count. But why you thought that we, (of all people, we!) would embarrass our pages with your ridiculous nonsense is completely baffling. Honestly, your absurd ramblings are barely good enough for the ‘Hum-Drum,’ the ‘Rowdy-Dow,’ the ‘Goosetherumfoodle’—publications that actually print ‘Mother Goose’s Melodies’ as original content. And ‘Oppodeldoc’ (whoever you are) even has the nerve to ask for payment for this nonsense. Does ‘Oppodeldoc’ (whoever you are) realize that we wouldn’t accept any amount to publish it?”

As I perused this I felt myself growing gradually smaller and smaller, and when I came to the point at which the editor sneered at the poem as “verses” there was little more than an ounce of me left. As for “Oppodeldoc,” I began to experience compassion for the poor fellow. But the “Goosetherumfoodle” showed, if possible, less mercy than the “Lollipop.” It was the “Goosetherumfoodle” that said:

As I read this, I felt myself shrinking more and more, and when I got to the part where the editor mocked the poem as “verses,” I was almost entirely gone. As for “Oppodeldoc,” I started to feel sympathy for the poor guy. But the “Goosetherumfoodle” showed even less mercy than the “Lollipop.” It was the “Goosetherumfoodle” that said:

“A wretched poetaster, who signs himself ‘Oppodeldoc,’ is silly enough to fancy that we will print and pay for a medley of incoherent and ungrammatical bombast which he has transmitted to us, and which commences with the following most intelligible line:

“A miserable low-level poet, who calls himself ‘Oppodeldoc,’ is foolish enough to think that we will print and pay for a mix of incoherent and ungrammatical nonsense that he has sent us, which starts with this incredibly clear line:

‘Hail, Holy Light! Offspring of Heaven, first born.’

‘Hail, Holy Light! Child of Heaven, the firstborn.’

“We say, ‘most intelligible.’ ‘Oppodeldoc,’ (whoever he is,) will be kind enough to tell us, perhaps, how ‘hail’ can be ‘holy light’ We always regarded it as frozen rain. Will he inform us, also, how frozen rain can be, at one and the same time, both ‘holy light,’ (whatever that is,) and an ‘offspring?’—which latter term, (if we understand any thing about English,) is only employed, with propriety, in reference to small babies of about six weeks old. But it is preposterous to descant upon such absurdity—although ‘Oppodeldoc,’ (whoever he is,) has the unparalleled effrontery to suppose that we will not only ‘insert’ his ignorant ravings, but (absolutely) pay for them!

“We say, ‘most intelligible.’ ‘Oppodeldoc,’ (whoever he is,) will be kind enough to tell us, perhaps, how ‘hail’ can be ‘holy light’ We always thought of it as frozen rain. Will he also let us know how frozen rain can be, at the same time, both ‘holy light’ (whatever that is) and an ‘offspring?’—which term, (if we understand anything about English,) is only used properly in reference to small babies of about six weeks old. But it’s ridiculous to go on about such nonsense—although ‘Oppodeldoc,’ (whoever he is,) has the audacity to think that we will not only ‘insert’ his ignorant ramblings but (absolutely) pay for them!

“Now this is fine—it is rich!—and we have half a mind to punish this young scribbler for his egotism, by really publishing his effusion, verbatim et literatim, as he has written it. We could inflict no punishment so severe, and we would inflict it, but for the boredom which we should cause our readers in so doing.

“Now this is great—it’s impressive!—and we’re seriously considering punishing this young writer for his arrogance by actually publishing his work exactly as he wrote it. We could impose no greater punishment, and we would do it, but we don't want to bore our readers in the process.”

“Let ‘Oppodeldoc,’ (whoever he is,) send any future composition of like character to the ‘Hum-Drum,’ the ‘Lollipop,’ or the ‘Rowdy-Dow,’ They will ‘insert’ it. They ‘insert’ every month just such stuff. Send it to them. WE are not to be insulted with impunity.”

“Let ‘Oppodeldoc’ (whoever that is) send any future composition of the same kind to the ‘Hum-Drum,’ the ‘Lollipop,’ or the ‘Rowdy-Dow.’ They will publish it. They print the same kind of stuff every month. Just send it to them. We won’t tolerate being insulted without consequences.”

This made an end of me; and as for the “Hum-Drum,” the “Rowdy-Dow,” and the “Lollipop,” I never could comprehend how they survived it. The putting them in the smallest possible minion, (that was the rub—thereby insinuating their lowness—their baseness,) while WE stood looking down upon them in gigantic capitals!—oh it was too bitter!—it was wormwood—it was gall. Had I been either of these periodicals I would have spared no pains to have the “Goosetherumfoodle” prosecuted. It might have been done under the Act for the “Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.” As for “Oppodeldoc,” (whoever he was), I had by this time lost all patience with the fellow, and sympathized with him no longer. He was a fool, beyond doubt, (whoever he was,) and got not a kick more than he deserved.

This was the end for me; as for the “Hum-Drum,” the “Rowdy-Dow,” and the “Lollipop,” I could never understand how they managed to survive it. Putting them in the smallest possible minion (that was the issue—implying their low status—their worthlessness) while WE looked down on them in enormous caps!—oh, it was too bitter!—it was like wormwood—it was gall. If I had been any of those publications, I would have made every effort to have the “Goosetherumfoodle” prosecuted. It could have been done under the Act for the “Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.” As for “Oppodeldoc,” (whoever he was), by this point I had lost all patience with the guy and no longer felt any sympathy for him. He was a fool, without a doubt, (whoever he was), and got no more than he deserved.

The result of my experiment with the old books, convinced me, in the first place, that “honesty is the best policy,” and, in the second, that if I could not write better than Mr. Dante, and the two blind men, and the rest of the old set, it would, at least, be a difficult matter to write worse. I took heart, therefore, and determined to prosecute the “entirely original,” (as they say on the covers of the magazines,) at whatever cost of study and pains. I again placed before my eyes, as a model, the brilliant stanzas on “The Oil-of-Bob” by the editor of the “Gad-Fly,” and resolved to construct an ode on the same sublime theme, in rivalry of what had already been done.

The outcome of my experiment with the old books convinced me, first of all, that “honesty is the best policy,” and, secondly, that if I couldn’t write better than Mr. Dante, the two blind men, and the rest of the old crowd, it would at least be pretty hard to write worse. So, I felt encouraged and decided to go for the “entirely original” (as they say on magazine covers), no matter how much study and effort it took. I once again set my sights on the brilliant stanzas about “The Oil-of-Bob” by the editor of the “Gad-Fly,” and resolved to write an ode on the same grand subject, aiming to outdo what had already been done.

With my first verse I had no material difficulty. It ran thus:

With my first verse, I didn’t have any issues. It went like this:

“To pen an Ode upon the ‘Oil-of-Bob.’”

“To write an Ode to the ‘Oil-of-Bob.’”

Having carefully looked out, however, all the legitimate rhymes to “Bob,” I found it impossible to proceed. In this dilemma I had recourse to paternal aid; and, after some hours of mature thought, my father and myself thus constructed the poem:

Having looked closely at all the legitimate rhymes for "Bob," I found it impossible to move forward. In this situation, I turned to my dad for help; and, after a few hours of careful thought, my dad and I put the poem together like this:

“To pen an Ode upon the ‘Oil-of-Bob’
Is all sorts of a job.

                    “(Signed) Snob.”

“Writing an Ode about the ‘Oil-of-Bob’
Is quite the task.”

                    “(Signed) Snob.”

To be sure, this composition was of no very great length—but I “have yet to learn” as they say in the Edinburgh Review, that the mere extent of a literary work has any thing to do with its merit. As for the Quarterly cant about “sustained effort,” it is impossible to see the sense of it. Upon the whole, therefore, I was satisfied with the success of my maiden attempt, and now the only question regarded the disposal I should make of it. My father suggested that I should send it to the “Gad-Fly”—but there were two reasons which operated to prevent me from so doing. I dreaded the jealousy of the editor—and I had ascertained that he did not pay for original contributions. I therefore, after due deliberation, consigned the article to the more dignified pages of the “Lollipop,” and awaited the event in anxiety, but with resignation.

Sure, this piece wasn't very long—but as they say in the Edinburgh Review, I still have to learn that the length of a literary work has anything to do with its quality. As for the Quarterly’s talk about “sustained effort,” it’s hard to see the point. Overall, I was pleased with how my first attempt turned out, and now the only question was what I should do with it. My dad suggested I send it to the “Gad-Fly”—but two reasons stopped me from doing that. I feared the editor’s jealousy—and I found out he didn’t pay for original submissions. So, after some thought, I sent the article to the more respectable pages of the “Lollipop” and waited anxiously but with acceptance for the outcome.

In the very next published number I had the proud satisfaction of seeing my poem printed at length, as the leading article, with the following significant words, prefixed in italics and between brackets:

In the very next published issue, I felt a proud satisfaction seeing my poem printed in full as the main article, with these important words italicized and in brackets:

We call the attention of our readers to the subjoined admirable stanza on “The Oil of Bob.” We need say nothing of their sublimity, or their pathos:—it is impossible to peruse them without tears. Those who have been nauseated with a sad dose on the same august topic from the goose quill of the editor of the “Gad Fly” will do well to compare the two compositions.

We'd like to direct our readers' attention to the fantastic stanza below about “The Oil of Bob.” We won’t comment on their depth or emotion—it’s hard to read them without tearing up. Those who have been turned off by a depressing take on the same serious subject from the editor of the “Gad Fly” should definitely compare the two pieces.

P. S.—We are consumed with anxiety to probe the mystery which envelops the evident pseudonym “Snob.” May we hope for a personal interview?

P. S.—We are filled with anxiety to explore the mystery surrounding the obvious pseudonym “Snob.” Can we hope for a personal meeting?

All this was scarcely more than justice, but it was, I confess, rather more than I had expected:—I acknowledged this, be it observed, to the everlasting disgrace of my country and of mankind. I lost no time, however, in calling upon the editor of the “Lollipop,” and had the good fortune to find this gentleman at home. He saluted me with an air of profound respect, slightly blended with a fatherly and patronizing admiration, wrought in him, no doubt, by my appearance of extreme youth and inexperience. Begging me to be seated, he entered at once upon the subject of my poem;—but modesty will ever forbid me to repeat the thousand compliments which he lavished upon me. The eulogies of Mr. Crab, (such was the editor’s name,) were, however, by no means fulsomely indiscriminate. He analyzed my composition with much freedom and great ability—not hesitating to point out a few trivial defects—a circumstance which elevated him highly in my esteem. The “Gad-Fly” was, of course, brought upon the tapis, and I hope never to be subjected to a criticism so searching, or to rebukes so withering, as were bestowed by Mr. Crab upon that unhappy effusion. I had been accustomed to regard the editor of the “Gad-Fly” as something superhuman; but Mr. Crab soon disabused me of that idea. He set the literary as well as the personal character of the Fly (so Mr. C. satirically designated the rival editor,) in its true light. He, the Fly, was very little better than he should be. He had written infamous things. He was a penny-a-liner, and a buffoon. He was a villain. He had composed a tragedy which set the whole country in a guffaw, and a farce which deluged the universe in tears. Besides all this, he had the impudence to pen what he meant for a lampoon upon himself, (Mr. Crab,) and the temerity to style him “an ass.” Should I at any time wish to express my opinion of Mr. Fry, the pages of the “Lollipop,” Mr. Crab assured me, were at my unlimited disposal. In the meantime, as it was very certain that I would be attacked in the Fly for my attempt at composing a rival poem on the “Oil-of-Bob,” he (Mr. Crab,) would take it upon himself to attend, pointedly, to my private and personal interests. If I were not made a man of at once, it should not be the fault of himself, (Mr. Crab.)

All of this was barely more than fair, but I have to admit it was more than I expected—let's just say it’s a shameful reflection on my country and humanity. However, I wasted no time in visiting the editor of the “Lollipop,” and I was fortunate to find him at home. He greeted me with a deep respect, mixed with a kind of fatherly and patronizing admiration, undoubtedly caused by my youthful and clueless appearance. After inviting me to sit down, he immediately dove into discussing my poem—but modesty keeps me from repeating the countless compliments he showered on me. Mr. Crab, which was the editor’s name, gave praise that wasn’t overly flattering or insincere. He critiqued my work openly and skillfully, even pointing out a few minor flaws, which boosted my opinion of him. The “Gad-Fly” came up in conversation, and I hope never to face a criticism as thorough, or remarks as scathing, as those Mr. Crab directed at that unfortunate piece. I had always thought of the editor of the “Gad-Fly” as something out of this world, but Mr. Crab quickly changed my mind. He really put the literary and personal character of the Fly (as Mr. C. sarcastically called the rival editor) into perspective. The Fly was really not much better than he should be. He had written disgraceful things. He was a hack and a clown. He was despicable. He wrote a tragedy that had the whole country laughing and a farce that left everyone in tears. On top of everything, he had the audacity to write what he intended as a satire on Mr. Crab himself, calling him “an ass.” If I ever wanted to share my thoughts on Mr. Fry, Mr. Crab assured me that the pages of the “Lollipop” were completely at my service. Meanwhile, since it was quite certain that I would be attacked in the Fly for trying to write a competing poem about the “Oil-of-Bob,” Mr. Crab promised to look out for my personal interests. If I wasn’t made into a man straight away, it wouldn’t be for lack of effort on Mr. Crab's part.

Mr. Crab having now paused in his discourse, (the latter portion of which I found it impossible to comprehend,) I ventured to suggest something about the remuneration which I had been taught to expect for my poem, by an announcement on the cover of the “Lollipop,” declaring that it, (the “Lollipop,”) “insisted upon being permitted to pay exorbitant prices for all accepted contributions—frequently expending more money for a single brief poem than the whole annual cost of the ‘Hum-Drum,’ the ‘Rowdy-Dow,’ and the ‘Goosetherumfoodle’ combined.”

Mr. Crab paused in his speech, (the last part of which I found impossible to understand,) so I took the chance to bring up the payment I had been led to expect for my poem, based on an announcement on the cover of the “Lollipop,” stating that it (the “Lollipop,”) “insisted on paying high prices for all accepted contributions—often spending more on a single short poem than the total annual cost of the ‘Hum-Drum,’ the ‘Rowdy-Dow,’ and the ‘Goosetherumfoodle’ combined.”

As I mentioned the word “remuneration,” Mr. Crab first opened his eyes, and then his mouth, to quite a remarkable extent; causing his personal appearance to resemble that of a highly-agitated elderly duck in the act of quacking; and in this condition he remained, (ever and anon pressing his hands tightly to his forehead, as if in a state of desperate bewilderment) until I had nearly made an end of what I had to say.

As soon as I said the word “pay,” Mr. Crab first opened his eyes, and then his mouth, to an impressive degree, making him look like a very agitated old duck trying to quack; and he stayed like this, occasionally pressing his hands firmly against his forehead as if he was completely confused, until I had nearly finished what I needed to say.

Upon my conclusion, he sank back into his seat, as if much overcome, letting his arms fall lifelessly by his side, but keeping his mouth still rigorously open, after the fashion of the duck. While I remained in speechless astonishment at behavior so alarming, he suddenly leaped to his feet and made a rush at the bell-rope; but just as he reached this, he appeared to have altered his intention, whatever it was, for he dived under a table and immediately re-appeared with a cudgel. This he was in the act of uplifting, (for what purpose I am at a loss to imagine,) when, all at once, there came a benign smile over his features, and he sank placidly back in his chair.

When I finished speaking, he slumped back in his seat as if completely overwhelmed, letting his arms droop lifelessly at his sides, but keeping his mouth wide open, like a duck. While I was left in stunned silence at such alarming behavior, he suddenly jumped to his feet and lunged for the bell-rope; but just as he reached it, he seemed to change his mind about whatever he was planning, diving under a table and quickly coming back up with a club. He was in the process of raising it (though I have no idea why) when, all of a sudden, a gentle smile spread across his face, and he settled back down peacefully in his chair.

“Mr. Bob,” he said, (for I had sent up my card before ascending myself,) “Mr. Bob, you are a young man, I presume—very?

“Mr. Bob,” he said, (for I had sent up my card before going up myself,) “Mr. Bob, you are a young man, I assume—very?

I assented; adding that I had not yet concluded my third lustrum.

I agreed, adding that I hadn’t finished my third five-year period yet.

“Ah!” he replied, “very good! I see how it is—say no more! Touching this matter of compensation, what you observe is very just: in fact it is excessively so. But ah—ah—the first contribution—the first, I say,—it is never the Magazine custom to pay for—you comprehend, eh? The truth is, we are usually the recipients in such case.” [Mr. Crab smiled blandly as he emphasized the word “recipients.”] “For the most part, we are paid for the insertion of a maiden attempt—especially in verse. In the second place, Mr. Bob, the Magazine rule is never to disburse what we term in France the argent comptant—I have no doubt you understand. In a quarter or two after publication of the article—or in a year or two—we make no objection to giving our note at nine months; provided always that we can so arrange our affairs as to be quite certain of a ‘burst up’ in six. I really do hope, Mr. Bob, that you will look upon this explanation as satisfactory.” Here Mr. Crab concluded, and the tears stood in his eyes.

“Ah!” he replied, “very good! I see how it is—say no more! Regarding this matter of payment, what you observe is fair: in fact, it's quite true. But ah—ah—the first contribution—the first, I say—it’s never the magazine's custom to pay for—you understand, right? The truth is, we usually are the recipients in such cases.” [Mr. Crab smiled blandly as he emphasized the word “recipients.”] “For the most part, we are paid for publishing a first attempt—especially in poetry. Additionally, Mr. Bob, the magazine's rule is never to pay what we call in France argent comptant—I’m sure you get it. A quarter or two after the article is published—or in a year or two—we have no problem giving our note at nine months; as long as we can organize our affairs to be quite sure of a ‘burst up’ in six. I really do hope, Mr. Bob, that you find this explanation satisfactory.” Here Mr. Crab finished, with tears in his eyes.

Grieved to the soul at having been, however innocently, the cause of pain to so eminent and so sensitive a man, I hastened to apologize, and to reassure him, by expressing my perfect coincidence with his views, as well as my entire appreciation of the delicacy of his position. Having done all this in a neat speech, I took leave.

I was deeply upset to have, even unintentionally, caused pain to such a distinguished and sensitive man. I quickly moved to apologize and reassure him by expressing my complete agreement with his views and my full appreciation of the delicacy of his situation. After delivering this well-prepared speech, I took my leave.

One fine morning, very shortly afterwards, “I awoke and found myself famous.” The extent of my renown will be best estimated by reference to the editorial opinions of the day. These opinions, it will be seen, were embodied in critical notices of the number of the “Lollipop” containing my poem, and are perfectly satisfactory, conclusive and clear with the exception, perhaps, of the hieroglyphical marks, “Sep. 15—1 t.” appended to each of the critiques.

One fine morning, shortly after, “I woke up and found myself famous.” The level of my fame can be best understood by looking at the editorial opinions of the time. These opinions are reflected in the reviews of the issue of “Lollipop” that included my poem, and they are completely satisfactory, conclusive, and clear, except perhaps for the cryptic markings, “Sep. 15—1 t.” that were added to each critique.

The “Owl,” a journal of profound sagacity, and well known for the deliberate gravity of its literary decisions—the “Owl,” I say, spoke as follows:

The “Owl,” a journal of deep wisdom, and well known for the thoughtful seriousness of its literary choices—the “Owl,” I say, said the following:

“‘The Lollipop!’ The October number of this delicious Magazine surpasses its predecessors, and sets competition at defiance. In the beauty of its typography and paper—in the number and excellence of its steel plates—as well as in the literary merit of its contributions—the ‘Lollipop’ compares with its slow-paced rivals as Hyperion with a Satyr. The ‘Hum-Drum,’ the ‘Rowdy-Dow,’ and the ‘Goosetherumfoodle,’ excel, it is true, in braggadocio, but, in all other points, give us the ‘Lollipop!’ How this celebrated journal can sustain its evidently tremendous expenses, is more than we can understand. To be sure, it has a circulation of 100,000, and its subscription-list has increased one-fourth during the last month; but, on the other hand, the sums it disburses constantly for contributions are inconceivable. It is reported that Mr. Slyass received no less than thirty-seven and a half cents for his inimitable paper on ‘Pigs.’ With Mr. Crab, as editor, and with such names upon the list of contributors as Snob and Slyass, there can be no such word as ‘fail’ for the Lollipop.’ Go and subscribe. Sep. 15—1 t.”

“The Lollipop!” The October issue of this delightful magazine outshines its predecessors and leaves the competition in the dust. With its stunning typography and paper, the number and quality of its illustrations, and the literary value of its content, the “Lollipop” stands in stark contrast to its slower competitors, much like Hyperion compared to a Satyr. While the “Hum-Drum,” the “Rowdy-Dow,” and the “Goosetherumfoodle” may boast, they can't match the “Lollipop!” It’s a mystery how this renowned journal manages its apparent high expenses. Sure, it has a circulation of 100,000, and its subscription numbers increased by 25% last month; however, the amounts it pays for contributions are astonishing. Reports say Mr. Slyass earned a whopping thirty-seven and a half cents for his unique piece on “Pigs.” With Mr. Crab as editor and contributors like Snob and Slyass, there's no such thing as “failure” for the Lollipop. Subscribe now! Sep. 15—1 t.

I must say that I was gratified with this high-toned notice from a paper so respectable as the “Owl.” The placing my name—that is to say, my nom de guerre—in priority of station to that of the great Slyass, was a compliment as happy as I felt it to be deserved.

I have to say that I was pleased with this elevated mention from a publication as reputable as the “Owl.” Having my name—that is, my nom de guerre—listed ahead of the great Slyass was a compliment that felt as gratifying as I believed it to be deserved.

My attention was next arrested by these paragraphs in the “Toad”—a print highly distinguished for its uprightness, and independence—for its entire freedom from sycophancy and subservience to the givers of dinners:

My attention was then caught by these paragraphs in the “Toad”—a publication known for its integrity and independence—for its complete lack of flattery and compliance with those who host dinner parties:

“The ‘Lollipop’ for October is out in advance of all its contemporaries, and infinitely surpasses them, of course, in the splendor of its embellishments, as well as in the richness of its literary contents. The ‘Hum-Drum,’ the ‘Rowdy-Dow,’ and the ‘Goosetherumfoodle’ excel, we admit, in braggadocio, but, in all other points, give us the ‘Lollipop. How this celebrated Magazine can sustain its evidently tremendous expenses, is more than we can understand. To be sure, it has a circulation of 200,000, and its subscription list has increased one-third during the last fortnight, but on the other hand, the sums it disburses, monthly, for contributions, are fearfully great. We learn that Mr. Mumblethumb received no less than fifty cents for his late ‘Monody in a Mud-Puddle.’

The October 'Lollipop' is out ahead of all its peers and, of course, far surpasses them in the brilliance of its decorations and the depth of its literary content. While we acknowledge that the 'Hum-Drum,' the 'Rowdy-Dow,' and the 'Goosetherumfoodle' boast with flair, in every other aspect, we prefer the 'Lollipop.' How this well-known magazine manages to cover its obviously huge expenses is beyond our comprehension. It does have a circulation of 200,000, and its subscription list has grown by a third in the past two weeks. However, the amounts it pays out monthly for contributions are shockingly high. We've heard that Mr. Mumblethumb got fifty cents for his recent 'Monody in a Mud-Puddle.'

“Among the original contributors to the present number we notice, (besides the eminent editor, Mr. Crab,) such men as Snob, Slyass, and Mumblethumb. Apart from the editorial matter, the most valuable paper, nevertheless, is, we think, a poetical gem by Snob, on the ‘Oil-of-Bob’—but our readers must not suppose from the title of this incomparable bijou, that it bears any similitude to some balderdash on the same subject by a certain contemptible individual whose name is unmentionable to ears polite. The present poem ‘On the Oil-of-Bob,’ has excited universal anxiety and curiosity in respect to the owner of the evident pseudonym, ‘Snob’—a curiosity which, happily, we have it in our power to satisfy. ‘Snob’ is the nom de plume of Mr. Thingum Bob, of this city,—a relative of the great Mr. Thingum, (after whom he is named,) and otherwise connected with the most illustrious families of the State. His father, Thomas Bob, Esq., is an opulent merchant in Smug. Sep. 15—1 t.”

“Among the original contributors to this issue, we notice, (besides the esteemed editor, Mr. Crab,) names like Snob, Slyass, and Mumblethumb. Aside from the editorial content, the most notable piece, in our opinion, is a poetic treasure by Snob, titled ‘Oil-of-Bob’—but our readers shouldn’t assume from the title of this incomparable bijou that it has anything in common with some nonsense on the same topic by a certain despicable person whose name isn't fit to be mentioned in polite company. The current poem ‘On the Oil-of-Bob’ has generated widespread interest and curiosity about the person behind the obvious pseudonym, ‘Snob’—a curiosity that we are pleased to satisfy. ‘Snob’ is the pen name of Mr. Thingum Bob, from this city,—a relative of the notable Mr. Thingum, (after whom he is named,) and otherwise connected to some of the most distinguished families in the State. His father, Thomas Bob, Esq., is a wealthy merchant in Smug. Sep. 15—1 t.

This generous approbation touched me to the heart—the more especially as it emanated from a source so avowedly—so proverbially pure as the “Toad.” The word “balderdash,” as applied to the “Oil-of-Bob” of the Fly, I considered singularly pungent and appropriate. The words “gem” and “bijou,” however, used in reference to my composition, struck me as being, in some degree, feeble, and seemed to me to be deficient in force. They were not sufficiently prononcés, (as we have it in France).

This generous praise really moved me, especially since it came from such a well-known and obviously pure source as the "Toad." The term "balderdash," when applied to the "Oil-of-Bob" of the Fly, struck me as particularly sharp and fitting. However, the words "gem" and "bijou" used to describe my work felt a bit weak to me and lacked impact. They weren't strong enough prononcés, as we say in France.

I had hardly finished reading the “Toad,” when a friend placed in my hands a copy of the “Mole,” a daily, enjoying high reputation for the keenness of its perception about matters in general, and for the open, honest, above-ground style of its editorials. The “Mole” spoke of the “Lollipop” as follows:

I had barely finished reading the “Toad” when a friend handed me a copy of the “Mole,” a daily newspaper known for its sharp insights on various topics and the straightforward, honest style of its editorials. The “Mole” described the “Lollipop” like this:

“We have just received the ‘Lollipop’ for October, and must say that never before have we perused any single number of any periodical which afforded us a felicity so supreme. We speak advisedly. The ‘Hum-Drum,’ the ‘Rowdy-Dow’ and the ‘Goosetherumfoodle’ must look well to their laurels. These prints, no doubt, surpass every thing in loudness of pretension, but, in all other points, give us the ‘Lollipop!’ How this celebrated Magazine can sustain its evidently tremendous expenses, is more than we can comprehend. To be sure, it has a circulation of 300,000 and its subscription-list has increased one-half within the last week, but then the sum it disburses, monthly, for contributions, is astoundingly enormous. We have it upon good authority, that Mr. Fatquack received no less than sixty-two cents and a half for his late domestic nouvelette, the ‘Dish-Clout.’

“We just got the ‘Lollipop’ for October, and we have to say that we've never read any issue of any magazine that brought us such immense joy. We mean it. The ‘Hum-Drum,’ the ‘Rowdy-Dow,’ and the ‘Goosetherumfoodle’ better keep an eye on their reputation. These magazines might be flashy in their claims, but in every other aspect, they can't compete with the ‘Lollipop!’ We can't figure out how this famous magazine manages its evidently high expenses. Sure, it has a circulation of 300,000 and its subscriber count has increased by fifty percent in the last week, but the amount it spends each month on contributions is shockingly high. We've heard from reliable sources that Mr. Fatquack earned no less than sixty-two and a half cents for his recent domestic short story, the ‘Dish-Clout.’”

“The contributors to the number before us are Mr. Crab, (the eminent editor,) Snob, Mumblethumb, Fatquack, and others; but, after the inimitable compositions of the editor himself, we prefer a diamond-like effusion from the pen of a rising poet who writes over the signature ‘Snob’—a nom de guerre which we predict will one day extinguish the radiance of ‘Boz.’ ‘Snob,’ we learn, is a Mr. Thingum Bob, Esq., sole heir of a wealthy merchant of this city, Thomas Bob, Esq., and a near relative of the distinguished Mr. Thingum. The title of Mr. B.‘s admirable poem is the ‘Oil-of-Bob’—a somewhat unfortunate name, by-the-by, as some contemptible vagabond connected with the penny press has already disgusted the town with a great deal of drivel upon the same topic. There will be no danger, however, of confounding the compositions. Sep. 15—1 t.”

“The contributors to this issue are Mr. Crab, the esteemed editor, Snob, Mumblethumb, Fatquack, and others; however, after the unmatched works of the editor himself, we prefer a shining piece from a rising poet who writes under the name ‘Snob’—a pseudonym that we believe will one day outshine ‘Boz.’ ‘Snob,’ we’ve learned, is Mr. Thingum Bob, Esq., the only heir of a wealthy merchant from this city, Thomas Bob, Esq., and a close relative of the notable Mr. Thingum. The title of Mr. B.’s excellent poem is ‘Oil-of-Bob’—a somewhat unfortunate title since a disgraceful vagrant associated with the penny press has already repulsed the city with a lot of nonsense on the same subject. There will be no risk, however, of mixing up the works. Sep. 15—1 t.”

The generous approbation of so clear-sighted a journal as the “Mole” penetrated my soul with delight. The only objection which occurred to me was, that the terms “contemptible vagabond” might have been better written “odious and contemptible wretch, villain and vagabond.” This would have sounded more gracefully, I think. “Diamond-like,” also, was scarcely, it will be admitted, of sufficient intensity to express what the “Mole” evidently thought of the brilliancy of the “Oil-of-Bob.”

The positive review from such an insightful magazine as the “Mole” filled me with joy. The only issue I found was that the phrase “contemptible vagabond” could have been better written as “odious and contemptible wretch, villain and vagabond.” I think that would have sounded more elegant. “Diamond-like” also, let’s be honest, didn't have enough weight to describe what the “Mole” clearly thought about the brilliance of the “Oil-of-Bob.”

On the same afternoon in which I saw these notices in the “Owl,” the “Toad,” and the “Mole” I happened to meet with a copy of the “Daddy-Long-Legs,” a periodical proverbial for the extreme extent of its understanding. And it was the “Daddy-Long-Legs” which spoke thus:

On the same afternoon that I saw these notices in the "Owl," the "Toad," and the "Mole," I happened to come across a copy of "Daddy-Long-Legs," a magazine known for its deep insights. And it was "Daddy-Long-Legs" that said this:

“The ‘Lollipop!!’ This gorgeous magazine is already before the public for October. The question of preeminence is forever put to rest, and hereafter it will be excessively preposterous in the ‘Hum-Drum,’ the ‘Rowdy-Dow,’ or the ‘Goosetherumfoodle,’ to make any farther spasmodic attempts at competition. These journals may excel the ‘Lollipop’ in outcry, but, in all other points, give us the ‘Lollipop!’ How this celebrated Magazine can sustain its evidently tremendous expenses, is past comprehension. To be sure it has a circulation of precisely half a million, and its subscription-list has increased seventy-five per cent, within the last couple of days; but then the sums it disburses, monthly, for contributions, are scarcely credible; we are cognizant of the fact, that Mademoiselle Cribalittle received no less than eighty-seven cents and a half for her late valuable Revolutionary Tale, entitled ‘The York-Town Katy-Did, and the Bunker-Hill Katy-Didn’t.’

“The ‘Lollipop!!’ This beautiful magazine is already out for October. The question of which is the best is settled for good, and from now on, it will be utterly ridiculous for the ‘Hum-Drum,’ the ‘Rowdy-Dow,’ or the ‘Goosetherumfoodle’ to make any further attempts at competition. These magazines may make more noise than the ‘Lollipop,’ but in every other aspect, we want the ‘Lollipop!’ It’s hard to understand how this famous magazine can keep up with its obviously huge expenses. It does have a circulation of exactly half a million, and its subscription list has jumped seventy-five percent in the past few days; but the amounts it pays out each month for contributions are simply unbelievable. We know that Mademoiselle Cribalittle received no less than eighty-seven cents and a half for her recent valuable Revolutionary Tale, titled ‘The York-Town Katy-Did, and the Bunker-Hill Katy-Didn’t.’”

“The most able papers in the present number, are, of course, those furnished by the editor, (the eminent Mr. Crab,) but there are numerous magnificent contributions from such names as Snob, Mademoiselle Cribalittle, Slyass, Mrs. Fibalittle, Mumblethumb, Mrs. Squibalittle, and last, though not least, Fatquack. The world may well be challenged to produce so rich a galaxy of genius.

“The best articles in this issue are definitely those provided by the editor, the renowned Mr. Crab, but there are plenty of amazing contributions from names like Snob, Mademoiselle Cribalittle, Slyass, Mrs. Fibalittle, Mumblethumb, Mrs. Squibalittle, and last but not least, Fatquack. It’s a challenge for anyone to find such a stellar lineup of talent anywhere else.”

“The poem over the signature ‘Snob’ is, we find, attracting universal commendation, and, we are constrained to say, deserves, if possible, even more applause than it has received. The ‘Oil-of-Bob’ is the title of this masterpiece of eloquence and art. One or two of our readers may have a very faint, although sufficiently disgusting recollection of a poem (?) similarly entitled, the perpetration of a miserable penny-a-liner, mendicant, and cut-throat, connected in the capacity of scullion, we believe, with one of the indecent prints about the purlieus of the city; we beg them, for God’s sake, not to confound the compositions. The author of the ‘Oil-of-Bob’ is, we hear, Thingum Bob, Esq., a gentleman of high genius, and a scholar. ‘Snob’ is merely a nom-de-guerre. Sept. 15—1 t.”

The poem signed ‘Snob’ is, as we see, receiving widespread praise, and we have to say it deserves, if anything, even more recognition than it has gotten. The ‘Oil-of-Bob’ is the name of this brilliant work of eloquence and art. A couple of our readers may have a very faint but pretty disgusting memory of a poem (?) with a similar title, created by a miserable, low-paid writer, a beggar, and a scam artist, who we believe worked as a kitchen helper for one of the raunchy publications around the city; we urge them, for goodness' sake, not to mix up the two pieces. The author of the ‘Oil-of-Bob’ is reportedly Thingum Bob, Esq., a man of great talent and a scholar. ‘Snob’ is just a nom-de-guerre. Sept. 15—1 t.”

I could scarcely restrain my indignation while I perused the concluding portions of this diatribe. It was clear to me that the yea-nay manner—not to say the gentleness—the positive forbearance with which the “Daddy-Long-Legs” spoke of that pig, the editor of the “Gad-Fly”—it was evident to me, I say, that this gentleness of speech could proceed from nothing else than a partiality for the Fly—whom it was clearly the intention of the “Daddy-Long-Legs” to elevate into reputation at my expense. Any one, indeed, might perceive, with half an eye, that, had the real design of the “Daddy” been what it wished to appear, it, (the “Daddy”) might have expressed itself in terms more direct, more pungent, and altogether more to the purpose. The words “penny-a-liner,” “mendicant,” “scullion,” and “cut-throat,” were epithets so intentionally inexpressive and equivocal, as to be worse than nothing when applied to the author of the very worst stanzas ever penned by one of the human race. We all know what is meant by “damning with faint praise,” and, on the other hand, who could fail seeing through the covert purpose of the “Daddy”—that of glorifying with feeble abuse?

I could barely hold back my anger as I read the last parts of this rant. It was obvious to me that the way “Daddy-Long-Legs” talked about that jerk, the editor of the “Gad-Fly,” was so gentle and overly patient that it clearly showed a favoritism for the Fly—someone that “Daddy-Long-Legs” clearly wanted to promote at my expense. Anyone could see, with just a glance, that if the real intention of the “Daddy” had been what it claimed, it could have communicated itself in much clearer, sharper, and more relevant terms. The terms “penny-a-liner,” “beggar,” “dishwasher,” and “killer” were so intentionally vague and meaningless that they were worse than useless when directed at the author of the very worst lines ever written by a human. We all know what it means to “damn with faint praise,” and who could miss the hidden agenda of the “Daddy”—that of glorifying with weak insults?

What the “Daddy” chose to say of the Fly, however, was no business of mine. What it said of myself was. After the noble manner in which the “Owl,” the “Toad,” the “Mole,” had expressed themselves in respect to my ability, it was rather too much to be coolly spoken of by a thing like the “Daddy-Long-Legs,” as merely “a gentleman of high genius and a scholar.” Gentleman indeed! I made up my mind at once, either to get a written apology from the “Daddy-Long-Legs,” or to call it out.

What the “Daddy” had to say about the Fly wasn’t my concern. What it said about me was. After the way the “Owl,” the “Toad,” and the “Mole” had praised my abilities, it felt pretty ridiculous to be casually described by someone like the “Daddy-Long-Legs” as just “a gentleman of high genius and a scholar.” Gentleman, really! I decided right then to either get a written apology from the “Daddy-Long-Legs” or confront it directly.

Full of this purpose, I looked about me to find a friend whom I could entrust with a message to his Daddyship, and as the editor of the “Lollipop” had given me marked tokens of regard, I at length concluded to seek assistance upon the present occasion.

Full of this purpose, I looked around to find a friend whom I could trust to deliver a message to his dad, and since the editor of the "Lollipop" had shown me clear signs of affection, I eventually decided to ask for help this time.

I have never yet been able to account, in a manner satisfactory to my own understanding, for the very peculiar countenance and demeanor with which Mr. Crab listened to me, as I unfolded to him my design. He again went through the scene of the bell-rope and cudgel, and did not omit the duck. At one period I thought he really intended to quack. His fit, nevertheless, finally subsided as before, and he began to act and speak in a rational way. He declined bearing the cartel, however, and in fact, dissuaded me from sending it at all; but was candid enough to admit that the “Daddy-Long-Legs” had been disgracefully in the wrong—more especially in what related to the epithets “gentleman and scholar.”

I’ve never really been able to explain, in a way that makes sense to me, the very strange expression and behavior Mr. Crab showed while I shared my plans with him. He replayed the scene with the bell-rope and the stick, and didn’t forget the duck. At one point, I thought he might actually quack. Still, his fit eventually eased like before, and he started to act and speak normally. However, he refused to take the challenge letter and even discouraged me from sending it at all; but he was honest enough to admit that the “Daddy-Long-Legs” had been entirely in the wrong—especially concerning the titles “gentleman and scholar.”

Towards the end of this interview with Mr. Crab, who really appeared to take a paternal interest in my welfare, he suggested to me that I might turn an honest penny, and, at the same time, advance my reputation, by occasionally playing Thomas Hawk for the “Lollipop.”

Towards the end of this interview with Mr. Crab, who seemed to genuinely care about my well-being, he suggested that I could make some extra money and, at the same time, enhance my reputation by occasionally playing Thomas Hawk for the “Lollipop.”

I begged Mr. Crab to inform me who was Mr. Thomas Hawk, and how it was expected that I should play him.

I begged Mr. Crab to tell me who Mr. Thomas Hawk was and how I was supposed to portray him.

Here Mr. Crab again “made great eyes,” (as we say in Germany,) but at length, recovering himself from a profound attack of astonishment, he assured me that he employed the words “Thomas Hawk” to avoid the colloquialism, Tommy, which was low—but that the true idea was Tommy Hawk—or tomahawk—and that by “playing tomahawk” he referred to scalping, brow-beating and otherwise using-up the herd of poor-devil authors.

Here Mr. Crab again "made big eyes," but finally, getting over a serious shock, he assured me that he used the words "Thomas Hawk" to avoid the informal name Tommy, which he thought was too casual—but the real meaning was Tommy Hawk—or tomahawk—and that by "playing tomahawk" he meant scalping, intimidating, and otherwise taking advantage of the poor authors.

I assured my patron that, if this was all, I was perfectly resigned to the task of playing Thomas Hawk. Hereupon Mr. Crab desired me to use-up the editor of the “Gad-Fly” forthwith, in the fiercest style within the scope of my ability, and as a specimen of my powers. This I did, upon the spot, in a review of the original “Oil-of-Bob,” occupying thirty-six pages of the “Lollipop.” I found playing Thomas Hawk, indeed, a far less onerous occupation than poetizing; for I went upon system altogether, and thus it was easy to do the thing thoroughly and well. My practice was this. I bought auction copies (cheap) of “Lord Brougham’s Speeches,” “Cobbett’s Complete Works,” the “New Slang-Syllabus,” the “Whole Art of Snubbing,” “Prentice’s Billingsgate” (folio edition,) and “Lewis G. Clarke on Tongue.” These works I cut up thoroughly with a currycomb, and then, throwing the shreds into a sieve, sifted out carefully all that might be thought decent, (a mere trifle); reserving the hard phrases, which I threw into a large tin pepper-castor with longitudinal holes, so that an entire sentence could get through without material injury. The mixture was then ready for use. When called upon to play Thomas Hawk, I anointed a sheet of fools-cap with the white of a gander’s egg; then, shredding the thing to be reviewed as I had previously shredded the books,—only with more care, so as to get every word separate—I threw the latter shreds in with the former, screwed on the lid of the castor, gave it a shake, and so dusted out the mixture upon the egged foolscap; where it stuck. The effect was beautiful to behold. It was captivating. Indeed, the reviews I brought to pass by this simple expedient have never been approached, and were the wonder of the world. At first, through bashfulness—the result of inexperience—I was a little put out by a certain inconsistency—a certain air of the bizarre, (as we say in France,) worn by the composition as a whole. All the phrases did not fit, (as we say in the Anglo-Saxon). Many were quite awry. Some, even, were up-side-down; and there were none of them which were not, in some measure, injured in regard to effect, by this latter species of accident, when it occurred—with the exception of Mr. Lewis Clarke’s paragraphs, which were so vigorous, and altogether stout, that they seemed not particularly disconcerted by any extreme of position, but looked equally happy and satisfactory, whether on their heads, or on their heels.

I told my sponsor that if this was all there was, I was totally fine with the job of playing Thomas Hawk. Mr. Crab then asked me to take down the editor of the “Gad-Fly” right away, in the fiercest style I could manage, as a demonstration of my skills. I did just that, right then and there, in a review of the original “Oil-of-Bob,” which took up thirty-six pages of the “Lollipop.” I found playing Thomas Hawk to be much less burdensome than writing poetry because I relied entirely on a system, making it easy to do the job thoroughly and well. My approach was straightforward. I bought cheap auction copies of “Lord Brougham’s Speeches,” “Cobbett’s Complete Works,” the “New Slang-Syllabus,” the “Whole Art of Snubbing,” “Prentice’s Billingsgate” (folio edition), and “Lewis G. Clarke on Tongue.” I cut these works up thoroughly with a currycomb and, after throwing the scraps into a sieve, carefully sifted out everything that might be considered decent (which was very little); the harsher phrases I collected in a large tin pepper shaker with long holes, allowing entire sentences to pass through without major damage. The mix was then ready to use. When it was time to play Thomas Hawk, I coated a sheet of fools-cap with the white of a gander’s egg; then, carefully shredding the piece to be reviewed in the same way as the books—except with more caution to keep every word separate—I combined those shreds with the previous ones, secured the lid of the shaker, gave it a shake, and dusted the mixture onto the egged fools-cap, where it stuck. The result was stunning to see. It was captivating. In fact, the reviews I created using this simple method have never been matched and were the talk of the town. Initially, due to shyness from inexperience, I was a bit thrown off by a certain inconsistency—a certain bizarre quality (as we might say in France)—that the whole composition had. Not all the phrases fit together (as we’d say in English). Many were completely out of place. Some even ended up upside-down; and every one of them was somewhat affected by this kind of accident, except for Mr. Lewis Clarke’s paragraphs, which were so robust that they seemed unfazed by any extreme positioning, looking equally good and fitting whether they were upside-down or right-side-up.

What became of the editor of the “Gad-Fly,” after the publication of my criticism on his “Oil-of-Bob,” it is somewhat difficult to determine. The most reasonable conclusion is, that he wept himself to death. At all events he disappeared instantaneously from the face of the earth, and no man has seen even the ghost of him since.

What happened to the editor of the “Gad-Fly” after I criticized his “Oil-of-Bob” is a bit hard to figure out. The most logical conclusion is that he cried himself to death. Anyway, he vanished without a trace, and no one has seen even a hint of him since.

This matter having been properly accomplished, and the Furies appeased, I grew at once into high favor with Mr. Crab. He took me into his confidence, gave me a permanent situation as Thomas Hawk of the “Lollipop,” and, as for the present, he could afford me no salary, allowed me to profit, at discretion, by his advice.

This matter being successfully resolved and the Furies calmed down, I quickly gained Mr. Crab's favor. He trusted me, gave me a permanent job as Thomas Hawk on the “Lollipop,” and, for the time being, he couldn't offer me a salary but allowed me to benefit from his guidance as needed.

“My dear Thingum,” said he to me one day after dinner, “I respect your abilities and love you as a son. You shall be my heir. When I die I will bequeath you the ‘Lollipop.’ In the meantime I will make a man of you—I will—provided always that you follow my counsel. The first thing to do is to get rid of the old bore.”

"My dear Thingum," he said to me one day after dinner, "I respect your abilities and love you like a son. You'll be my heir. When I die, I'll leave you the 'Lollipop.' In the meantime, I'll make a man out of you—I will—if you always follow my advice. The first thing we need to do is get rid of the old bore."

“Boar?” said I inquiringly—“pig, eh?—aper? (as we say in Latin)—who?—where?”

“Boar?” I asked curiously—“pig, huh?—aper? (as we say in Latin)—who?—where?”

“Your father,” said he.

“Your dad,” he said.

“Precisely,” I replied,—“pig.”

“Exactly,” I replied,—“pig.”

“You have your fortune to make, Thingum,” resumed Mr. Crab, “and that governor of yours is a millstone about your neck. We must cut him at once.” [Here I took out my knife.] “We must cut him,” continued Mr. Crab, “decidedly and forever. He won’t do—he won’t. Upon second thoughts, you had better kick him, or cane him, or something of that kind.”

“You have your future to build, Thingum,” Mr. Crab continued, “and that governor of yours is holding you back. We need to get rid of him right now.” [Here I took out my knife.] “We have to get rid of him,” Mr. Crab went on, “once and for all. He’s no good—he isn’t. Actually, you might be better off kicking him, or hitting him with a cane, or something like that.”

“What do you say,” I suggested modestly, “to my kicking him in the first instance, caning him afterwards, and winding up by tweaking his nose?”

“What do you think,” I suggested casually, “about me kicking him first, caning him later, and then finishing off by tweaking his nose?”

Mr. Crab looked at me musingly for some moments, and then answered:

Mr. Crab looked at me thoughtfully for a few moments and then replied:

“I think, Mr. Bob, that what you propose would answer sufficiently well—indeed remarkably well—that is to say, as far as it went—but barbers are exceedingly hard to cut, and I think, upon the whole, that, having performed upon Thomas Bob the operations you suggest, it would be advisable to blacken, with your fists, both his eyes, very carefully and thoroughly, to prevent his ever seeing you again in fashionable promenades. After doing this, I really do not perceive that you can do any more. However—it might be just as well to roll him once or twice in the gutter, and then put him in charge of the police. Any time the next morning you can call at the watch-house and swear an assault.”

“I think, Mr. Bob, that what you’re suggesting would work well—actually, exceptionally well—as far as it goes—but barbers are really tough to deal with, and overall, I believe that after you’ve done what you proposed to Thomas Bob, it would be wise to punch him in both eyes, very carefully and thoroughly, to make sure he never sees you again in social settings. After that, I honestly don’t see what more you can do. However—it might be a good idea to roll him around in the gutter a couple of times, then hand him over to the police. The next morning, you can drop by the station and file an assault report.”

I was much affected by the kindness of feeling towards me personally, which was evinced in this excellent advice of Mr. Crab, and I did not fail to profit by it forthwith. The result was, that I got rid of the old bore, and began to feel a little independent and gentleman-like. The want of money, however, was, for a few weeks, a source of some discomfort; but at length, by carefully putting to use my two eyes, and observing how matters went just in front of my nose, I perceived how the thing was to be brought about. I say “thing”—be it observed—for they tell me the Latin for it is rem. By the way, talking of Latin, can any one tell me the meaning of quocunque—or what is the meaning of modo?

I was really touched by the kindness directed towards me, shown through the excellent advice from Mr. Crab, and I made sure to take advantage of it right away. As a result, I got rid of the old bore and started to feel a bit independent and more like a gentleman. However, for a few weeks, the lack of money caused me some discomfort; but eventually, by carefully using my two eyes and paying attention to what was happening right in front of me, I figured out how to make things work. I say "thing"—just so you know—because I've been told the Latin word for it is rem. By the way, speaking of Latin, does anyone know the meaning of quocunque—or what modo means?

My plan was exceedingly simple. I bought, for a song, a sixteenth of the “Snapping-Turtle”:—that was all. The thing was done, and I put money in my purse. There were some trivial arrangements afterwards, to be sure; but these formed no portion of the plan. They were a consequence—a result. For example, I bought pen, ink, and paper, and put them into furious activity. Having thus completed a Magazine article, I gave it, for appellation, “Fol-Lol, by the Author of ‘The Oil-of-Bob,’” and enveloped it to the “Goosetherumfoodle.” That journal, however, having pronounced it “twattle” in the “Monthly Notices to Correspondents,” I reheaded the paper “‘Hey-Diddle-Diddle,’ by Thingum Bob, Esq., Author of the Ode on ‘The Oil-of-Bob,’ and Editor of the ‘Snapping-Turtle.’” With this amendment, I re-enclosed it to the “Goosetherumfoodle,” and, while I awaited a reply, published daily, in the “Turtle,” six columns of what may be termed philosophical and analytical investigation of the literary merits of the “Goosetherumfoodle,” as well as of the personal character of the editor of the “Goosetherumfoodle.” At the end of a week the “Goosetherumfoodle” discovered that it had, by some odd mistake, “confounded a stupid article, headed ‘Hey-Diddle-Diddle’ and composed by some unknown ignoramus, with a gem of resplendent lustre similarly entitled, the work of Thingum Bob, Esq., the celebrated author of ‘The Oil-of-Bob.’” The “Goosetherumfoodle” deeply “regretted this very natural accident,” and promised, moreover, an insertion of the genuine “Hey-Diddle-Diddle” in the very next number of the Magazine.

My plan was really simple. I bought a sixteenth of the “Snapping-Turtle” for a very low price—that was it. The task was done, and I had money in my pocket. There were some minor arrangements afterward, of course, but those weren't part of the plan. They were just a consequence—a result. For example, I bought pen, ink, and paper and got to work right away. Once I finished a magazine article, I titled it “Fol-Lol, by the Author of ‘The Oil-of-Bob,’” and sent it off to the “Goosetherumfoodle.” However, that journal labeled it “twattle” in their “Monthly Notices to Correspondents,” so I changed the title to “‘Hey-Diddle-Diddle,’ by Thingum Bob, Esq., Author of the Ode on ‘The Oil-of-Bob,’ and Editor of the ‘Snapping-Turtle.’” With this revision, I resubmitted it to the “Goosetherumfoodle,” and while I awaited a reply, I published daily in the “Turtle,” six columns that could be described as philosophical and analytical discussions about the literary quality of the “Goosetherumfoodle,” as well as the personal character of its editor. After a week, the “Goosetherumfoodle” realized it had mistakenly “confounded a silly article titled ‘Hey-Diddle-Diddle’ written by some unknown fool, with a gem of brilliant quality also titled the same, written by Thingum Bob, Esq., the famous author of ‘The Oil-of-Bob.’” The “Goosetherumfoodle” sincerely “regretted this very natural mistake,” and also promised to include the genuine “Hey-Diddle-Diddle” in the very next issue of the magazine.

The fact is, I thought—I really thought—I thought at the time—I thought then—and have no reason for thinking otherwise now—that the “Goosetherumfoodle” did make a mistake. With the best intentions in the world, I never knew any thing that made as many singular mistakes as the “Goosetherumfoodle.” From that day I took a liking to the “Goosetherumfoodle,” and the result was I soon saw into the very depths of its literary merits, and did not fail to expatiate upon them, in the “Turtle,” whenever a fitting opportunity occurred. And it is to be regarded as a very peculiar coincidence—as one of those positively remarkable coincidences which set a man to serious thinking—that just such a total revolution of opinion—just such entire bouleversement, (as we say in French,)—just such thorough topsiturviness, (if I may be permitted to employ a rather forcible term of the Choctaws,) as happened, pro and con, between myself on the one part, and the “Goosetherumfoodle” on the other, did actually again happen, in a brief period afterwards, and with precisely similar circumstances, in the case of myself and the “Rowdy-Dow,” and in the case of myself and the “Hum-Drum.”

The truth is, I thought—I really thought—I thought back then—and I see no reason to think differently now—that the “Goosetherumfoodle” did make a mistake. With the best intentions in the world, I’ve never seen anything that made as many unique mistakes as the “Goosetherumfoodle.” From that day on, I took a liking to the “Goosetherumfoodle,” and as a result, I soon realized its literary merits and made sure to talk about them in the “Turtle” whenever the opportunity arose. It’s quite a strange coincidence—one of those truly remarkable coincidences that makes you think seriously—that just such a complete shift in opinion—such a complete bouleversement (as we say in French)—and such thorough topsiturviness (if I can use a rather strong term from the Choctaws)—happened, pro and con, between myself on one side and the “Goosetherumfoodle” on the other, and it actually happened again shortly after, under exactly the same circumstances, with the “Rowdy-Dow” and also with the “Hum-Drum.”

Thus it was that, by a master-stroke of genius, I at length consummated my triumphs by “putting money in my purse,” and thus may be said really and fairly to have commenced that brilliant and eventful career which rendered me illustrious, and which now enables me to say, with Chateaubriand, “I have made history”—“J’ai fait l’histoire.”

Thus it was that, through a brilliant stroke of genius, I finally achieved my triumphs by “putting money in my purse,” and in doing so, I can truly say I began that remarkable and significant career that made me famous, which now allows me to declare, like Chateaubriand, “I have made history”—“J’ai fait l’histoire.”

I have indeed “made history.” From the bright epoch which I now record, my actions—my works—are the property of mankind. They are familiar to the world. It is, then, needless for me to detail how, soaring rapidly, I fell heir to the “Lollipop”—how I merged this journal in the “Hum-Drum”—how again I made purchase of the “Rowdy-Dow,” thus combining the three periodicals—how, lastly, I effected a bargain for the sole remaining rival, and united all the literature of the country in one magnificent Magazine, known everywhere as the

I have truly “made history.” From this bright period that I’m now writing about, my actions—my work—belong to everyone. They are well-known around the world. Therefore, it’s unnecessary for me to explain how, after quickly rising, I came into ownership of the “Lollipop”—how I combined this journal with the “Hum-Drum”—how I later bought the “Rowdy-Dow,” merging all three publications—how, finally, I struck a deal for the last remaining competitor and brought together all the literature of the country into one amazing Magazine, known everywhere as the

“Rowdy-Dow, Lollipop, Hum-Drum,
and
goosetherumfoodle.”

“Rowdy-Dow, Lollipop, Hum-Drum, and goosetherumfoodle.”

Yes; I have made history. My fame is universal. It extends to the uttermost ends of the earth. You cannot take up a common newspaper in which you shall not see some allusion to the immortal Thingum Bob. It is Mr. Thingum Bob said so, and Mr. Thingum Bob wrote this, and Mr. Thingum Bob did that. But I am meek and expire with an humble heart. After all, what is it?—this indescribable something which men will persist in terming “genius?” I agree with Buffon—with Hogarth—it is but diligence after all.

Yes; I have made history. My fame is well-known everywhere. It reaches the farthest corners of the earth. You can't pick up a regular newspaper without seeing a reference to the legendary Thingum Bob. It's always Mr. Thingum Bob said this, and Mr. Thingum Bob wrote that, and Mr. Thingum Bob did this. But I'm humble and fade away with a modest heart. After all, what is it?—this indescribable something that people insist on calling "genius?" I agree with Buffon—with Hogarth—it's really just diligence after all.

Look at me!—how I labored—how I toiled—how I wrote! Ye Gods, did I not write? I knew not the word “ease.” By day I adhered to my desk, and at night, a pale student, I consumed the midnight oil. You should have seen me—you should. I leaned to the right. I leaned to the left. I sat forward. I sat backward. I sat upon end. I sat tete baissée, (as they have it in the Kickapoo,) bowing my head close to the alabaster page. And, through all, I—wrote. Through joy and through sorrow, I—wrote. Through hunger and through thirst, I—wrote. Through good report and through ill report, I—wrote. Through sunshine and through moonshine, I—wrote. What I wrote it is unnecessary to say. The style!—that was the thing. I caught it from Fatquack—whizz!—fizz!—— and I am giving you a specimen of it now.

Look at me!—how hard I worked—how I toiled—how I wrote! Oh my God, did I not write? I didn’t know the meaning of “ease.” During the day, I stuck to my desk, and at night, like a pale student, I burned the midnight oil. You should have seen me—you should. I leaned to the right. I leaned to the left. I sat up straight. I slouched back. I sat upright. I sat tete baissée, (as they say in the Kickapoo,) bowing my head close to the white page. And through it all, I—wrote. Through joy and through sorrow, I—wrote. Through hunger and thirst, I—wrote. Through praise and criticism, I—wrote. Through sunshine and moonlight, I—wrote. What I wrote is unnecessary to mention. The style!—that was the thing. I picked it up from Fatquack—whizz!—fizz!—and I’m giving you a taste of it now.

HOW TO WRITE A “BLACKWOOD” ARTICLE

“In the name of the Prophet—figs!!”
                    —Cry of the Turkish fig-peddler.

“In the name of the Prophet—figs!!”
                    —Cry of the Turkish fig-peddler.

I presume everybody has heard of me. My name is the Signora Psyche Zenobia. This I know to be a fact. Nobody but my enemies ever calls me Suky Snobbs. I have been assured that Suky is but a vulgar corruption of Psyche, which is good Greek, and means “the soul” (that’s me, I’m all soul) and sometimes “a butterfly,” which latter meaning undoubtedly alludes to my appearance in my new crimson satin dress, with the sky-blue Arabian mantelet, and the trimmings of green agraffas, and the seven flounces of orange-colored auriculas. As for Snobbs—any person who should look at me would be instantly aware that my name wasn’t Snobbs. Miss Tabitha Turnip propagated that report through sheer envy. Tabitha Turnip indeed! Oh the little wretch! But what can we expect from a turnip? Wonder if she remembers the old adage about “blood out of a turnip,” &c.? [Mem. put her in mind of it the first opportunity.] [Mem. again—pull her nose.] Where was I? Ah! I have been assured that Snobbs is a mere corruption of Zenobia, and that Zenobia was a queen—(So am I. Dr. Moneypenny always calls me the Queen of the Hearts)—and that Zenobia, as well as Psyche, is good Greek, and that my father was “a Greek,” and that consequently I have a right to our patronymic, which is Zenobia and not by any means Snobbs. Nobody but Tabitha Turnip calls me Suky Snobbs. I am the Signora Psyche Zenobia.

I assume everyone has heard of me. My name is Signora Psyche Zenobia. I know this for a fact. Only my enemies call me Suky Snobbs. I've been told that Suky is just a low-class twist on Psyche, which is proper Greek and means “the soul” (that’s me, I’m all soul) and sometimes “a butterfly,” which definitely relates to how I look in my new crimson satin dress, with the sky-blue Arabian mantelet and the green agraffas trims, along with the seven flounces of orange-colored auriculas. As for Snobbs—anyone who looks at me would quickly realize my name isn’t Snobbs. Miss Tabitha Turnip spread that rumor out of sheer jealousy. Tabitha Turnip indeed! Oh, what a little wretch! But what can we expect from a turnip? I wonder if she remembers the saying about getting “blood out of a turnip,” etc.? [Mem. remind her of that at the first chance.] [Mem. again—tweak her nose.] Where was I? Ah! I’ve been told that Snobbs is just a distortion of Zenobia, and that Zenobia was a queen—(So am I. Dr. Moneypenny always calls me the Queen of Hearts)—and that Zenobia, just like Psyche, is proper Greek, and that my father was “a Greek,” and so I have the right to our surname, which is Zenobia and definitely not Snobbs. Only Tabitha Turnip calls me Suky Snobbs. I am Signora Psyche Zenobia.

As I said before, everybody has heard of me. I am that very Signora Psyche Zenobia, so justly celebrated as corresponding secretary to the “Philadelphia, Regular, Exchange, Tea, Total, Young, Belles, Lettres, Universal, Experimental, Bibliographical, Association, To, Civilize, Humanity.” Dr. Moneypenny made the title for us, and says he chose it because it sounded big like an empty rum-puncheon. (A vulgar man that sometimes—but he’s deep.) We all sign the initials of the society after our names, in the fashion of the R. S. A., Royal Society of Arts—the S. D. U. K., Society for the Diffusion of Useful Knowledge, &c, &c. Dr. Moneypenny says that S. stands for stale, and that D. U. K. spells duck, (but it don’t,) that S. D. U. K. stands for Stale Duck and not for Lord Brougham’s society—but then Dr. Moneypenny is such a queer man that I am never sure when he is telling me the truth. At any rate we always add to our names the initials P. R. E. T. T. Y. B. L. U. E. B. A. T. C. H.—that is to say, Philadelphia, Regular, Exchange, Tea, Total, Young, Belles, Lettres, Universal, Experimental, Bibliographical, Association, To, Civilize, Humanity—one letter for each word, which is a decided improvement upon Lord Brougham. Dr. Moneypenny will have it that our initials give our true character—but for my life I can’t see what he means.

As I mentioned earlier, everyone has heard of me. I am the one and only Signora Psyche Zenobia, famously known as the corresponding secretary for the “Philadelphia, Regular, Exchange, Tea, Total, Young, Belles, Lettres, Universal, Experimental, Bibliographical, Association, To, Civilize, Humanity.” Dr. Moneypenny created that title for us and says he chose it because it sounds impressive, like an empty rum barrel. (He can be a vulgar man sometimes—but he’s insightful.) We all sign the initials of the society after our names, like they do in the R. S. A., Royal Society of Arts—the S. D. U. K., Society for the Diffusion of Useful Knowledge, etc., etc. Dr. Moneypenny claims that S. stands for stale, and that D. U. K. spells duck (but it doesn't), and that S. D. U. K. means Stale Duck and not Lord Brougham’s society—but then Dr. Moneypenny is such a strange man that I can never tell when he’s telling the truth. In any case, we always add to our names the initials P. R. E. T. T. Y. B. L. U. E. B. A. T. C. H.—that is to say, Philadelphia, Regular, Exchange, Tea, Total, Young, Belles, Lettres, Universal, Experimental, Bibliographical, Association, To, Civilize, Humanity—one letter for each word, which is definitely an improvement over Lord Brougham. Dr. Moneypenny insists that our initials reveal our true character—but for the life of me, I can't see what he means.

Notwithstanding the good offices of the Doctor, and the strenuous exertions of the association to get itself into notice, it met with no very great success until I joined it. The truth is, the members indulged in too flippant a tone of discussion. The papers read every Saturday evening were characterized less by depth than buffoonery. They were all whipped syllabub. There was no investigation of first causes, first principles. There was no investigation of any thing at all. There was no attention paid to that great point, the “fitness of things.” In short there was no fine writing like this. It was all low—very! No profundity, no reading, no metaphysics—nothing which the learned call spirituality, and which the unlearned choose to stigmatize as cant. [Dr. M. says I ought to spell “cant” with a capital K—but I know better.]

Despite the Doctor's support and the group's efforts to gain recognition, it didn't achieve much success until I got involved. The reality is, the members had a tendency to keep the conversation too lighthearted. The papers presented every Saturday night were more about comedy than depth. They were all just fluff. There was no exploration of fundamental causes or principles. There was no exploration of anything at all. There was no focus on that important aspect, the “fitness of things.” In short, there was nothing impressive like this. It was all very low-quality. No depth, no reading, no metaphysics—nothing that the educated might consider spirituality, which the less educated often label as nonsense. [Dr. M. insists I should capitalize “cant”—but I know better.]

When I joined the society it was my endeavor to introduce a better style of thinking and writing, and all the world knows how well I have succeeded. We get up as good papers now in the P. R. E. T. T. Y. B. L. U. E. B. A. T. C. H. as any to be found even in Blackwood. I say, Blackwood, because I have been assured that the finest writing, upon every subject, is to be discovered in the pages of that justly celebrated Magazine. We now take it for our model upon all themes, and are getting into rapid notice accordingly. And, after all, it’s not so very difficult a matter to compose an article of the genuine Blackwood stamp, if one only goes properly about it. Of course I don’t speak of the political articles. Everybody knows how they are managed, since Dr. Moneypenny explained it. Mr. Blackwood has a pair of tailor’s-shears, and three apprentices who stand by him for orders. One hands him the “Times,” another the “Examiner” and a third a “Culley’s New Compendium of Slang-Whang.” Mr. B. merely cuts out and intersperses. It is soon done—nothing but “Examiner,” “Slang-Whang,” and “Times”—then “Times,” “Slang-Whang,” and “Examiner”—and then “Times,” “Examiner,” and “Slang-Whang.”

When I joined the society, my goal was to introduce a better way of thinking and writing, and everyone knows how well I've succeeded. We now produce some great papers in the P. R. E. T. T. Y. B. L. U. E. B. A. T. C. H. that are as good as anything you'll find in Blackwood. I mention Blackwood because I've been told that the best writing on any topic is found in that well-regarded magazine. We use it as our model for all subjects, and we're gaining attention quickly as a result. Honestly, it’s not that hard to write an article in the authentic Blackwood style if you approach it the right way. Of course, I'm not talking about the political articles. Everyone knows how those are handled, thanks to Dr. Moneypenny’s explanation. Mr. Blackwood has a pair of tailor’s scissors and three assistants who take his orders. One gives him the “Times,” another the “Examiner,” and a third a “Culley’s New Compendium of Slang-Whang.” Mr. B. simply cuts out pieces and mixes them in. It doesn’t take long—just “Examiner,” “Slang-Whang,” and “Times”—then “Times,” “Slang-Whang,” and “Examiner”—and then “Times,” “Examiner,” and “Slang-Whang.”

But the chief merit of the Magazine lies in its miscellaneous articles; and the best of these come under the head of what Dr. Moneypenny calls the bizarreries (whatever that may mean) and what everybody else calls the intensities. This is a species of writing which I have long known how to appreciate, although it is only since my late visit to Mr. Blackwood (deputed by the society) that I have been made aware of the exact method of composition. This method is very simple, but not so much so as the politics. Upon my calling at Mr. B.‘s, and making known to him the wishes of the society, he received me with great civility, took me into his study, and gave me a clear explanation of the whole process.

But the main strength of the Magazine is in its diverse articles, and the best of these fall under what Dr. Moneypenny refers to as the bizarreries (whatever that means) and what everyone else calls the intensities. This type of writing is something I’ve long been able to appreciate, although it was only after my recent visit to Mr. Blackwood (sent by the society) that I learned the exact way it’s put together. This method is pretty straightforward, but not quite as simple as the politics. When I met with Mr. B. and shared the society's requests, he welcomed me politely, took me into his study, and gave me a clear explanation of the entire process.

“My dear madam,” said he, evidently struck with my majestic appearance, for I had on the crimson satin, with the green agraffas, and orange-colored auriclas. “My dear madam,” said he, “sit down. The matter stands thus: In the first place your writer of intensities must have very black ink, and a very big pen, with a very blunt nib. And, mark me, Miss Psyche Zenobia!” he continued, after a pause, with the most expressive energy and solemnity of manner, “mark me!—that pen—must—never be mended! Herein, madam, lies the secret, the soul, of intensity. I assume upon myself to say, that no individual, of however great genius ever wrote with a good pen—understand me,—a good article. You may take, it for granted, that when manuscript can be read it is never worth reading. This is a leading principle in our faith, to which if you cannot readily assent, our conference is at an end.”

“My dear madam,” he said, clearly impressed by my striking appearance, as I was dressed in crimson satin with green embellishments and orange accents. “My dear madam,” he repeated, “please take a seat. Here’s the situation: First, your writer of intense works needs very black ink, a very large pen, and a very blunt nib. And, listen closely, Miss Psyche Zenobia!” he continued after a pause, with great emphasis and seriousness, “listen closely!—that pen—must—never be sharpened! This, madam, is the secret, the essence, of intensity. I confidently declare that no person, no matter how talented, has ever created a great piece using a good pen—do you understand?—a good article. You can assume that when a manuscript is legible, it’s never worth reading. This is a fundamental principle in our beliefs; if you can’t agree with it readily, then our discussion is over.”

He paused. But, of course, as I had no wish to put an end to the conference, I assented to a proposition so very obvious, and one, too, of whose truth I had all along been sufficiently aware. He seemed pleased, and went on with his instructions.

He paused. But, of course, since I didn't want to end the meeting, I agreed to such an obvious suggestion, one that I had been aware of all along. He seemed satisfied and continued with his instructions.

“It may appear invidious in me, Miss Psyche Zenobia, to refer you to any article, or set of articles, in the way of model or study, yet perhaps I may as well call your attention to a few cases. Let me see. There was ‘The Dead Alive,’ a capital thing!—the record of a gentleman’s sensations when entombed before the breath was out of his body—full of tastes, terror, sentiment, metaphysics, and erudition. You would have sworn that the writer had been born and brought up in a coffin. Then we had the ‘Confessions of an Opium-eater’—fine, very fine!—glorious imagination—deep philosophy acute speculation—plenty of fire and fury, and a good spicing of the decidedly unintelligible. That was a nice bit of flummery, and went down the throats of the people delightfully. They would have it that Coleridge wrote the paper—but not so. It was composed by my pet baboon, Juniper, over a rummer of Hollands and water, ‘hot, without sugar.’” [This I could scarcely have believed had it been anybody but Mr. Blackwood, who assured me of it.] “Then there was ‘The Involuntary Experimentalist,’ all about a gentleman who got baked in an oven, and came out alive and well, although certainly done to a turn. And then there was ‘The Diary of a Late Physician,’ where the merit lay in good rant, and indifferent Greek—both of them taking things with the public. And then there was ‘The Man in the Bell,’ a paper by-the-by, Miss Zenobia, which I cannot sufficiently recommend to your attention. It is the history of a young person who goes to sleep under the clapper of a church bell, and is awakened by its tolling for a funeral. The sound drives him mad, and, accordingly, pulling out his tablets, he gives a record of his sensations. Sensations are the great things after all. Should you ever be drowned or hung, be sure and make a note of your sensations—they will be worth to you ten guineas a sheet. If you wish to write forcibly, Miss Zenobia, pay minute attention to the sensations.”

“It might seem unfair of me, Miss Psyche Zenobia, to point you to any article or group of articles as a model or something to study, but I might as well bring a few cases to your attention. Let me think. There was ‘The Dead Alive,’ which was excellent!—the account of a gentleman’s feelings when he was buried alive before his breath had left his body—full of tastes, terror, sentiment, deep thoughts, and knowledge. You would have sworn that the writer had spent his entire life in a coffin. Then we had ‘Confessions of an Opium-eater’—impressive, very impressive!—wonderful imagination—deep philosophy, sharp speculation—lots of passion and madness, with a good dose of the completely confusing. That was quite the spectacle, and people enjoyed it immensely. They wanted to believe that Coleridge wrote the piece—but that’s not true. It was written by my pet baboon, Juniper, after a drink of Hollands and water, ‘hot, without sugar.’” [I could hardly believe it if it hadn’t been for Mr. Blackwood assuring me of it.] “Then there was ‘The Involuntary Experimentalist,’ about a gentleman who got baked in an oven and came out alive and well, although definitely cooked to perfection. And then there was ‘The Diary of a Late Physician,’ which stood out for its dramatic language and mediocre Greek—both of which went over well with the public. And then there was ‘The Man in the Bell,’ a paper that I must highly recommend to your attention, Miss Zenobia. It tells the story of a young person who falls asleep under the clapper of a church bell and wakes up to its tolling for a funeral. The sound drives him insane, and so, pulling out his pads, he records his feelings. Feelings are what really matter in the end. If you ever find yourself drowning or hanging, be sure to note your feelings—they will be worth ten guineas a sheet. If you want to write powerfully, Miss Zenobia, pay close attention to your feelings.”

“That I certainly will, Mr. Blackwood,” said I.

"Of course, Mr. Blackwood," I said.

“Good!” he replied. “I see you are a pupil after my own heart. But I must put you au fait to the details necessary in composing what may be denominated a genuine Blackwood article of the sensation stamp—the kind which you will understand me to say I consider the best for all purposes.

“Good!” he replied. “I see you're a student after my own heart. But I need to update you on the details required to write what can be called a true Blackwood article of the sensational kind—the type that I believe is the best for all purposes.

“The first thing requisite is to get yourself into such a scrape as no one ever got into before. The oven, for instance,—that was a good hit. But if you have no oven or big bell, at hand, and if you cannot conveniently tumble out of a balloon, or be swallowed up in an earthquake, or get stuck fast in a chimney, you will have to be contented with simply imagining some similar misadventure. I should prefer, however, that you have the actual fact to bear you out. Nothing so well assists the fancy, as an experimental knowledge of the matter in hand. ‘Truth is strange,’ you know, ‘stranger than fiction’—besides being more to the purpose.”

“The first thing you need to do is get yourself into a situation that nobody has ever experienced before. The oven, for example—that was a great example. But if you don’t have an oven or a big bell nearby, and if you can't easily jump out of a balloon, or get swallowed up in an earthquake, or get stuck in a chimney, you'll just have to settle for imagining some similar disaster. However, I would prefer that you have the real experience to back you up. Nothing sparks the imagination like firsthand knowledge of the situation at hand. ‘Truth is stranger than fiction,’ as they say—plus, it's more relevant.”

Here I assured him I had an excellent pair of garters, and would go and hang myself forthwith.

Here, I assured him that I had a great pair of garters and would go hang myself right away.

“Good!” he replied, “do so;—although hanging is somewhat hacknied. Perhaps you might do better. Take a dose of Brandreth’s pills, and then give us your sensations. However, my instructions will apply equally well to any variety of misadventure, and in your way home you may easily get knocked in the head, or run over by an omnibus, or bitten by a mad dog, or drowned in a gutter. But to proceed.

“Good!” he replied, “go ahead;—although hanging is a bit cliché. Maybe you could do better. Take some Brandreth’s pills, and then tell us how you feel. Anyway, my advice will work just as well for any kind of mishap, and on your way home, you might easily get hit in the head, run over by a bus, bitten by a rabid dog, or drown in a gutter. But let's continue.

“Having determined upon your subject, you must next consider the tone, or manner, of your narration. There is the tone didactic, the tone enthusiastic, the tone natural—all commonplace enough. But then there is the tone laconic, or curt, which has lately come much into use. It consists in short sentences. Somehow thus: Can’t be too brief. Can’t be too snappish. Always a full stop. And never a paragraph.

“Once you've chosen your topic, the next step is to think about the tone or style of your narration. There’s the didactic tone, the enthusiastic tone, and the natural tone—those are all pretty standard. But then there's the laconic or curt tone, which has become quite popular recently. It features short sentences, like this: It can’t be too brief. It can’t be too snappy. Always end with a period. And never use a paragraph.”

“Then there is the tone elevated, diffusive, and interjectional. Some of our best novelists patronize this tone. The words must be all in a whirl, like a humming-top, and make a noise very similar, which answers remarkably well instead of meaning. This is the best of all possible styles where the writer is in too great a hurry to think.

“Then there’s the tone that’s elevated, spread out, and full of interjections. Some of our best novelists use this tone. The words should be swirling around like a spinning top and make a noise that’s quite similar, which works surprisingly well instead of having meaning. This is the best possible style when the writer is too rushed to think.”

“The tone metaphysical is also a good one. If you know any big words this is your chance for them. Talk of the Ionic and Eleatic schools—of Archytas, Gorgias, and Alcmaeon. Say something about objectivity and subjectivity. Be sure and abuse a man named Locke. Turn up your nose at things in general, and when you let slip any thing a little too absurd, you need not be at the trouble of scratching it out, but just add a footnote and say that you are indebted for the above profound observation to the ‘Kritik der reinem Vernunft,’ or to the ‘Metaphysithe Anfongsgrunde der Noturwissenchaft.’ This would look erudite and—and—and frank.

"The metaphysical tone works well, too. If you know any big words, now’s your chance to use them. Discuss the Ionic and Eleatic schools—mention Archytas, Gorgias, and Alcmaeon. Talk about objectivity and subjectivity. Be sure to criticize a guy named Locke. Look down on things in general, and if you say something that's a bit too ridiculous, you don’t have to bother crossing it out—just add a footnote stating that your deep insight comes from the ‘Critique of Pure Reason’ or the ‘Metaphysical Foundations of Natural Science.’ This will make you seem knowledgeable and—well—honest."

“There are various other tones of equal celebrity, but I shall mention only two more—the tone transcendental and the tone heterogeneous. In the former the merit consists in seeing into the nature of affairs a very great deal farther than anybody else. This second sight is very efficient when properly managed. A little reading of the ‘Dial’ will carry you a great way. Eschew, in this case, big words; get them as small as possible, and write them upside down. Look over Channing’s poems and quote what he says about a ‘fat little man with a delusive show of Can.’ Put in something about the Supernal Oneness. Don’t say a syllable about the Infernal Twoness. Above all, study innuendo. Hint everything—assert nothing. If you feel inclined to say ‘bread and butter,’ do not by any means say it outright. You may say any thing and every thing approaching to ‘bread and butter.’ You may hint at buck-wheat cake, or you may even go so far as to insinuate oat-meal porridge, but if bread and butter be your real meaning, be cautious, my dear Miss Psyche, not on any account to say ‘bread and butter!’”

“There are many other popular styles, but I’ll only mention two more—the transcendental style and the heterogeneous style. In the former, the skill lies in understanding situations much better than anyone else. This insight is very effective when handled well. A little reading of the ‘Dial’ will take you far. Avoid big words; use the smallest ones you can and write them upside down. Look through Channing’s poems and quote what he says about a ‘fat little man with a deceptive show of style.’ Include something about the Supernal Oneness. Don’t mention the Infernal Twoness at all. Above all, focus on innuendo. Hint at everything—never assert anything. If you want to say ‘bread and butter,’ definitely do not say it directly. You can mention anything that is close to ‘bread and butter.’ You might hint at buckwheat pancakes, or you could even suggest oatmeal porridge, but if ‘bread and butter’ is what you really mean, be careful, my dear Miss Psyche, not to say ‘bread and butter!’”

I assured him that I should never say it again as long as I lived. He kissed me and continued:

I promised him I would never say it again as long as I lived. He kissed me and went on:

“As for the tone heterogeneous, it is merely a judicious mixture, in equal proportions, of all the other tones in the world, and is consequently made up of every thing deep, great, odd, piquant, pertinent, and pretty.

“As for the heterogeneous tone, it's simply a careful blend, in equal parts, of all the other tones in the world, and is therefore composed of everything deep, grand, unusual, sharp, relevant, and beautiful.”

“Let us suppose now you have determined upon your incidents and tone. The most important portion—in fact, the soul of the whole business, is yet to be attended to—I allude to the filling up. It is not to be supposed that a lady, or gentleman either, has been leading the life of a book worm. And yet above all things it is necessary that your article have an air of erudition, or at least afford evidence of extensive general reading. Now I’ll put you in the way of accomplishing this point. See here!” (pulling down some three or four ordinary-looking volumes, and opening them at random). “By casting your eye down almost any page of any book in the world, you will be able to perceive at once a host of little scraps of either learning or bel-esprit-ism, which are the very thing for the spicing of a Blackwood article. You might as well note down a few while I read them to you. I shall make two divisions: first, Piquant Facts for the Manufacture of Similes, and, second, Piquant Expressions to be introduced as occasion may require. Write now!”—and I wrote as he dictated.

“Let’s say you’ve figured out your topics and the overall vibe. The most crucial part—basically the heart of the whole thing—is still to be addressed: I’m talking about the content. It shouldn't be assumed that a lady or gentleman has been living the life of a bookworm. Yet, it’s essential that your piece has an air of knowledge or, at the very least, shows evidence of broad general reading. Now, I’ll show you how to achieve this. Look here!” (pulling down three or four unassuming-looking books and opening them randomly). “If you glance at almost any page of any book in the world, you’ll quickly spot plenty of interesting bits of either knowledge or witty remarks, which are perfect for adding flair to a Blackwood article. You might as well jot down a few while I read them to you. I’ll split them into two categories: first, Interesting Facts for Creating Similes, and second, Interesting Phrases to use as needed. Write now!”—and I wrote as he dictated.

“PIQUANT FACTS FOR SIMILES. ‘There were originally but three Muses—Melete, Mneme, Aœde—meditation, memory, and singing.’ You may make a good deal of that little fact if properly worked. You see it is not generally known, and looks recherché. You must be careful and give the thing with a downright improviso air.

“PIQUANT FACTS FOR SIMILES. ‘There were originally just three Muses—Melete, Mneme, Aœde—meditation, memory, and song.’ You can really make a lot out of that little fact if you handle it right. It's not something most people know, and it sounds recherché. Just be sure to present it with a casual, off-the-cuff vibe.

“Again. ‘The river Alpheus passed beneath the sea, and emerged without injury to the purity of its waters.’ Rather stale that, to be sure, but, if properly dressed and dished up, will look quite as fresh as ever.

“Again. ‘The river Alpheus flowed under the sea and came out unharmed, keeping its waters pure.’ That’s pretty old-fashioned, for sure, but if you present it well, it can still seem just as fresh as ever.”

“Here is something better. ‘The Persian Iris appears to some persons to possess a sweet and very powerful perfume, while to others it is perfectly scentless.’ Fine that, and very delicate! Turn it about a little, and it will do wonders. We’ll have some thing else in the botanical line. There’s nothing goes down so well, especially with the help of a little Latin. Write!

“Here's something better. ‘The Persian Iris seems to some people to have a sweet and very strong fragrance, while to others it has no scent at all.’ That’s nice and really subtle! Twist it a bit, and it will work wonders. Let’s find something else in the plant world. Nothing is more appealing, especially with a bit of Latin thrown in. Write!”

“‘The Epidendrum Flos Aeris, of Java, bears a very beautiful flower, and will live when pulled up by the roots. The natives suspend it by a cord from the ceiling, and enjoy its fragrance for years.’ That’s capital! That will do for the similes. Now for the Piquant Expressions.

The Epidendrum Flos Aeris, from Java, has a really beautiful flower and can survive even when uprooted. The locals hang it from the ceiling by a cord and enjoy its scent for years.” That’s great! That works for the comparisons. Now for the Clever Phrases.

“PIQUANT EXPRESSIONS. ‘The Venerable Chinese novel Ju-Kiao-Li.’ Good! By introducing these few words with dexterity you will evince your intimate acquaintance with the language and literature of the Chinese. With the aid of this you may either get along without either Arabic, or Sanscrit, or Chickasaw. There is no passing muster, however, without Spanish, Italian, German, Latin, and Greek. I must look you out a little specimen of each. Any scrap will answer, because you must depend upon your own ingenuity to make it fit into your article. Now write!

“PIQUANT EXPRESSIONS. ‘The Venerable Chinese novel Ju-Kiao-Li.’ Great! By skillfully introducing these few words, you’ll show your deep understanding of the language and literature of China. With this, you might get by without Arabic, Sanskrit, or Chickasaw. However, you can’t get away without Spanish, Italian, German, Latin, and Greek. I need to find you a little example of each. Any snippet will do, because you’ll need to rely on your own creativity to make it fit into your article. Now write!

“‘Aussi tendre que Zaire’—as tender as Zaire-French. Alludes to the frequent repetition of the phrase, la tendre Zaire, in the French tragedy of that name. Properly introduced, will show not only your knowledge of the language, but your general reading and wit. You can say, for instance, that the chicken you were eating (write an article about being choked to death by a chicken-bone) was not altogether aussi tendre que Zaire. Write!

“‘As tender as Zaire’—alludes to the frequent repetition of the phrase, la tendre Zaire, in the French tragedy of that name. When used properly, it will demonstrate not only your knowledge of the language but also your general reading and wit. You could say, for example, that the chicken you were eating (write an article about being choked to death by a chicken bone) was not really as tender as Zaire. Write!”

‘Van muerte tan escondida,
    Que no te sienta venir,
Porque el plazer del morir,
    No mestorne a dar la vida.’

‘From death so hidden,
    That I can't feel you coming,
Because the pleasure of dying,
    Doesn't take away my desire for life.’

“That’s Spanish—from Miguel de Cervantes. ‘Come quickly, O death! but be sure and don’t let me see you coming, lest the pleasure I shall feel at your appearance should unfortunately bring me back again to life.’ This you may slip in quite a propos when you are struggling in the last agonies with the chicken-bone. Write!

“That’s Spanish—from Miguel de Cervantes. ‘Come quickly, O death! but make sure I don’t see you coming, or else the joy I’ll feel at your arrival might unfortunately bring me back to life.’ You can drop this in just at the right moment when you’re battling with that chicken bone. Write!”

‘Il pover ‘huomo che non se’n era accorto,
Andava combattendo, e era morto.‘

‘The poor man who didn’t realize,
Was going on fighting, and he was dead.’

“That’s Italian, you perceive—from Ariosto. It means that a great hero, in the heat of combat, not perceiving that he had been fairly killed, continued to fight valiantly, dead as he was. The application of this to your own case is obvious—for I trust, Miss Psyche, that you will not neglect to kick for at least an hour and a half after you have been choked to death by that chicken-bone. Please to write!

"That's Italian, you know—from Ariosto. It means that a great hero, in the heat of battle, not realizing he had been killed, kept fighting bravely, even though he was dead. The connection to your situation is clear—for I hope, Miss Psyche, that you won’t forget to struggle for at least an hour and a half after you've choked to death on that chicken bone. Please write!"

‘Und sterb’ich doch, no sterb’ich denn
Durch sie—durch sie!’’

‘And if I die, then I die
Because of her—because of her!’’’

“That’s German—from Schiller. ‘And if I die, at least I die—for thee—for thee!’ Here it is clear that you are apostrophizing the cause of your disaster, the chicken. Indeed what gentleman (or lady either) of sense, wouldn’t die, I should like to know, for a well fattened capon of the right Molucca breed, stuffed with capers and mushrooms, and served up in a salad-bowl, with orange-jellies en mosaïques. Write! (You can get them that way at Tortoni’s)—Write, if you please!

"That's German—from Schiller. 'And if I die, at least I die—for you—for you!' It's clear here that you're addressing the source of your downfall, the chicken. Really, what gentleman (or lady) of good sense wouldn't want to die, I'd like to know, for a perfectly fattened capon of the right Molucca breed, stuffed with capers and mushrooms, and served in a salad bowl, with orange jellies en mosaïques. Write! (You can get them that way at Tortoni's)—Write, if you please!"

“Here is a nice little Latin phrase, and rare too, (one can’t be too recherché or brief in one’s Latin, it’s getting so common—ignoratio elenchi. He has committed an ignoratio elenchi—that is to say, he has understood the words of your proposition, but not the idea. The man was a fool, you see. Some poor fellow whom you address while choking with that chicken-bone, and who therefore didn’t precisely understand what you were talking about. Throw the ignoratio elenchi in his teeth, and, at once, you have him annihilated. If he dares to reply, you can tell him from Lucan (here it is) that speeches are mere anemonae verborum, anemone words. The anemone, with great brilliancy, has no smell. Or, if he begins to bluster, you may be down upon him with insomnia Jovis, reveries of Jupiter—a phrase which Silius Italicus (see here!) applies to thoughts pompous and inflated. This will be sure and cut him to the heart. He can do nothing but roll over and die. Will you be kind enough to write?

“Here’s a nice little Latin phrase, and rare too, (you can’t be too recherché or brief in your Latin, it’s becoming so common—ignoratio elenchi. He has made an ignoratio elenchi—that is to say, he understood the words of your argument, but not the idea. The guy was a fool, you see. Some poor soul you’re talking to while choking on that chicken bone, and who therefore didn’t really get what you were saying. Throw the ignoratio elenchi in his face, and immediately, you’ve got him finished. If he dares to respond, you can tell him from Lucan (here it is) that speeches are just anemonae verborum, anemone words. The anemone, with its bright colors, has no scent. Or, if he starts to bluster, you can hit him with insomnia Jovis, daydreams of Jupiter—a phrase which Silius Italicus (see here!) uses for thoughts that are pompous and inflated. This will definitely cut him to the core. He can do nothing but roll over and die. Will you please write?

“In Greek we must have some thing pretty—from Demosthenes, for example. Ανερο φευων και παλιν μαχεσεται. [Aner o pheugoen kai palin makesetai.] There is a tolerably good translation of it in Hudibras—

“In Greek, we must have something nice—from Demosthenes, for instance. Ανερο φευων και παλιν μαχεσεται. [Aner o pheugoen kai palin makesetai.] There’s a fairly decent translation of it in Hudibras—

‘For he that flies may fight again,
Which he can never do that’s slain.’

'Whoever escapes can fight again,
But once you're killed, that's the end.'

In a Blackwood article nothing makes so fine a show as your Greek. The very letters have an air of profundity about them. Only observe, madam, the astute look of that Epsilon! That Phi ought certainly to be a bishop! Was ever there a smarter fellow than that Omicron? Just twig that Tau! In short, there is nothing like Greek for a genuine sensation-paper. In the present case your application is the most obvious thing in the world. Rap out the sentence, with a huge oath, and by way of ultimatum at the good-for-nothing dunder-headed villain who couldn’t understand your plain English in relation to the chicken-bone. He’ll take the hint and be off, you may depend upon it.”

In a Blackwood article, nothing stands out like your Greek. The letters exude a sense of depth. Just take a look, madam, at the clever expression on that Epsilon! That Phi should definitely be a bishop! Is there anyone sharper than that Omicron? Just check out that Tau! In short, Greek is unmatched for creating a real impact. In this case, your application is crystal clear. Fire off that sentence with a loud exclamation, and as a final warning to that worthless, blockheaded villain who couldn’t understand your straightforward English about the chicken bone. He’ll get the message and leave, you can count on it.

These were all the instructions Mr. B. could afford me upon the topic in question, but I felt they would be entirely sufficient. I was, at length, able to write a genuine Blackwood article, and determined to do it forthwith. In taking leave of me, Mr. B. made a proposition for the purchase of the paper when written; but as he could offer me only fifty guineas a sheet, I thought it better to let our society have it, than sacrifice it for so paltry a sum. Notwithstanding this niggardly spirit, however, the gentleman showed his consideration for me in all other respects, and indeed treated me with the greatest civility. His parting words made a deep impression upon my heart, and I hope I shall always remember them with gratitude.

These were all the instructions Mr. B. could give me on the subject, but I felt they would be more than enough. Eventually, I was able to write a genuine Blackwood article and decided to do it right away. When he said goodbye, Mr. B. suggested buying the paper once it was written, but since he could only offer me fifty guineas per sheet, I thought it was better to let our group have it rather than settle for such a small amount. Despite this greedy attitude, he still showed me respect in every other way and treated me very kindly. His final words really touched my heart, and I hope I’ll always remember them with gratitude.

“My dear Miss Zenobia,” he said, while the tears stood in his eyes, “is there anything else I can do to promote the success of your laudable undertaking? Let me reflect! It is just possible that you may not be able, so soon as convenient, to—to—get yourself drowned, or—choked with a chicken-bone, or—or hung,—or—bitten by a—but stay! Now I think me of it, there are a couple of very excellent bull-dogs in the yard—fine fellows, I assure you—savage, and all that—indeed just the thing for your money—they’ll have you eaten up, auricula and all, in less than five minutes (here’s my watch!)—and then only think of the sensations! Here! I say—Tom!—Peter!—Dick, you villain!—let out those”—but as I was really in a great hurry, and had not another moment to spare, I was reluctantly forced to expedite my departure, and accordingly took leave at once—somewhat more abruptly, I admit, than strict courtesy would have otherwise allowed.

“My dear Miss Zenobia,” he said, with tears in his eyes, “is there anything else I can do to help your noble cause? Let me think! It’s possible that you might not be able, very soon, to—to—drown yourself, or—choke on a chicken bone, or—or hang yourself,—or—be bitten by a—but wait! Now that I think about it, there are a couple of excellent bulldogs in the yard—great guys, I assure you—ferocious and all that—just perfect for your needs—they’ll have you devoured, ears and all, in less than five minutes (here’s my watch!)—and just think of the thrill! Here! I say—Tom!—Peter!—Dick, you scoundrel!—let those out”—but since I was truly in a hurry and had no time to waste, I was reluctantly forced to speed up my exit, and so I took my leave immediately—somewhat more abruptly, I admit, than good manners would normally allow.

It was my primary object upon quitting Mr. Blackwood, to get into some immediate difficulty, pursuant to his advice, and with this view I spent the greater part of the day in wandering about Edinburgh, seeking for desperate adventures—adventures adequate to the intensity of my feelings, and adapted to the vast character of the article I intended to write. In this excursion I was attended by one negro servant, Pompey, and my little lap-dog Diana, whom I had brought with me from Philadelphia. It was not, however, until late in the afternoon that I fully succeeded in my arduous undertaking. An important event then happened of which the following Blackwood article, in the tone heterogeneous, is the substance and result.

My main goal after leaving Mr. Blackwood was to get into some trouble, just like he suggested. So, I spent most of the day wandering around Edinburgh, looking for thrilling adventures—something that matched my intense emotions and suited the grand nature of the article I planned to write. I was accompanied by a black servant named Pompey and my little lapdog, Diana, whom I had brought with me from Philadelphia. However, it wasn’t until late in the afternoon that I really succeeded in my difficult task. Then, something significant happened, and the following article for Blackwood captures the essence and outcome in a mixed tone.

A PREDICAMENT

What chance, good lady, hath bereft you thus?—COMUS.

What happened to you, good lady?—COMUS.

It was a quiet and still afternoon when I strolled forth in the goodly city of Edina. The confusion and bustle in the streets were terrible. Men were talking. Women were screaming. Children were choking. Pigs were whistling. Carts they rattled. Bulls they bellowed. Cows they lowed. Horses they neighed. Cats they caterwauled. Dogs they danced. Danced! Could it then be possible? Danced! Alas, thought I, my dancing days are over! Thus it is ever. What a host of gloomy recollections will ever and anon be awakened in the mind of genius and imaginative contemplation, especially of a genius doomed to the everlasting, and eternal, and continual, and, as one might say, the—continued—yes, the continued and continuous, bitter, harassing, disturbing, and, if I may be allowed the expression, the very disturbing influence of the serene, and godlike, and heavenly, and exalted, and elevated, and purifying effect of what may be rightly termed the most enviable, the most truly enviable—nay! the most benignly beautiful, the most deliciously ethereal, and, as it were, the most pretty (if I may use so bold an expression) thing (pardon me, gentle reader!) in the world—but I am always led away by my feelings. In such a mind, I repeat, what a host of recollections are stirred up by a trifle! The dogs danced! I—I could not! They frisked—I wept. They capered—I sobbed aloud. Touching circumstances! which cannot fail to bring to the recollection of the classical reader that exquisite passage in relation to the fitness of things, which is to be found in the commencement of the third volume of that admirable and venerable Chinese novel the Jo-Go-Slow.

It was a quiet and calm afternoon when I walked through the lovely city of Edina. The noise and chaos in the streets were overwhelming. Men were chatting. Women were screaming. Children were crying. Pigs were squealing. Carts were clattering. Bulls were bellowing. Cows were mooing. Horses were neighing. Cats were yowling. Dogs were dancing. Dancing! Could it really be? Dancing! Alas, I thought, my dancing days are behind me! It’s always like this. A flood of sad memories is always triggered in the mind of a creative person, especially one who is fated to endure the endless, eternal, and, if I may put it this way, the—constant—yes, the constant and continual, bitter, relentless, disruptive, and, if I may say, the very disruptive influence of the calm, divine, heavenly, elevated, and cleansing effect of what can be rightly called the most enviable, the most truly enviable—nay! the most beautifully benign, the most exquisitely ethereal, and, so to speak, the most lovely (forgive my boldness, dear reader!) thing in the world—but I always get carried away by my emotions. In such a mind, I repeat, how many memories are stirred by something so small! The dogs danced! I—I could not! They frolicked—I cried. They pranced—I sobbed. Such touching moments! They surely remind the classical reader of that beautiful passage about the appropriateness of things found at the start of the third volume of that wonderful and revered Chinese novel, the Jo-Go-Slow.

In my solitary walk through, the city I had two humble but faithful companions. Diana, my poodle! sweetest of creatures! She had a quantity of hair over her one eye, and a blue ribbon tied fashionably around her neck. Diana was not more than five inches in height, but her head was somewhat bigger than her body, and her tail being cut off exceedingly close, gave an air of injured innocence to the interesting animal which rendered her a favorite with all.

During my solitary walk through the city, I had two humble but loyal companions. Diana, my poodle! The sweetest creature! She had a bunch of fur over one eye and a blue ribbon tied stylishly around her neck. Diana was no more than five inches tall, but her head was a bit bigger than her body, and her tail was cut really short, which gave her an air of injured innocence that made her a favorite with everyone.

And Pompey, my negro!—sweet Pompey! how shall I ever forget thee? I had taken Pompey’s arm. He was three feet in height (I like to be particular) and about seventy, or perhaps eighty, years of age. He had bow-legs and was corpulent. His mouth should not be called small, nor his ears short. His teeth, however, were like pearl, and his large full eyes were deliciously white. Nature had endowed him with no neck, and had placed his ankles (as usual with that race) in the middle of the upper portion of the feet. He was clad with a striking simplicity. His sole garments were a stock of nine inches in height, and a nearly-new drab overcoat which had formerly been in the service of the tall, stately, and illustrious Dr. Moneypenny. It was a good overcoat. It was well cut. It was well made. The coat was nearly new. Pompey held it up out of the dirt with both hands.

And Pompey, my dear!—sweet Pompey! how could I ever forget you? I had taken Pompey’s arm. He was three feet tall (I like to be specific) and around seventy or maybe eighty years old. He had bow legs and was plump. His mouth wasn't small, nor were his ears short. His teeth, though, were like pearls, and his large, bright eyes were stunningly white. Nature had blessed him with no neck and positioned his ankles (as is typical for that race) in the middle of his feet. He dressed with a striking simplicity. His only clothes were a nine-inch high collar and a nearly-new drab overcoat that had once belonged to the tall, stately, and renowned Dr. Moneypenny. It was a good overcoat. It was well-tailored. It was well-made. The coat was almost new. Pompey held it up off the ground with both hands.

There were three persons in our party, and two of them have already been the subject of remark. There was a third—that person was myself. I am the Signora Psyche Zenobia. I am not Suky Snobbs. My appearance is commanding. On the memorable occasion of which I speak I was habited in a crimson satin dress, with a sky-blue Arabian mantelet. And the dress had trimmings of green agraffas, and seven graceful flounces of the orange-colored auricula. I thus formed the third of the party. There was the poodle. There was Pompey. There was myself. We were three. Thus it is said there were originally but three Furies—Melty, Nimmy, and Hetty—Meditation, Memory, and Fiddling.

There were three people in our group, and two of them have already been mentioned. The third person was me. I am Signora Psyche Zenobia. I am not Suky Snobbs. I have a striking appearance. On the unforgettable occasion I’m talking about, I wore a crimson satin dress with a sky-blue Arabian shawl. The dress had green trims and seven elegant ruffles of orange-colored auricula flowers. So, I was the third member of the group. There was the poodle. There was Pompey. There was me. We made three. Just like it’s said that there were originally only three Furies—Melty, Nimmy, and Hetty—Meditation, Memory, and Fiddling.

Leaning upon the arm of the gallant Pompey, and attended at a respectable distance by Diana, I proceeded down one of the populous and very pleasant streets of the now deserted Edina. On a sudden, there presented itself to view a church—a Gothic cathedral—vast, venerable, and with a tall steeple, which towered into the sky. What madness now possessed me? Why did I rush upon my fate? I was seized with an uncontrollable desire to ascend the giddy pinnacle, and then survey the immense extent of the city. The door of the cathedral stood invitingly open. My destiny prevailed. I entered the ominous archway. Where then was my guardian angel?—if indeed such angels there be. If! Distressing monosyllable! what world of mystery, and meaning, and doubt, and uncertainty is there involved in thy two letters! I entered the ominous archway! I entered; and, without injury to my orange-colored auriculas, I passed beneath the portal, and emerged within the vestibule. Thus it is said the immense river Alfred passed, unscathed, and unwetted, beneath the sea.

Leaning on the arm of the brave Pompey and with Diana following at a respectful distance, I made my way down one of the busy and quite pleasant streets of the now abandoned Edina. Suddenly, a church came into view—a Gothic cathedral—huge, ancient, and with a tall spire that reached up into the sky. What madness took hold of me? Why did I rush toward my fate? I was hit with an uncontrollable urge to climb to the dizzying height and look over the vast expanse of the city. The door of the cathedral stood invitingly open. My destiny took over. I walked through the foreboding archway. Where was my guardian angel?—if there even are such angels. If! That troubling little word! What a world of mystery, meaning, doubt, and uncertainty is wrapped up in those two letters! I walked through the foreboding archway! I entered; and without damage to my orange-colored auriculas, I passed beneath the portal and stepped into the vestibule. Thus it is said the immense river Alfred passed, unscathed and dry, beneath the sea.

I thought the staircase would never have an end. Round! Yes, they went round and up, and round and up and round and up, until I could not help surmising, with the sagacious Pompey, upon whose supporting arm I leaned in all the confidence of early affection—I could not help surmising that the upper end of the continuous spiral ladder had been accidentally, or perhaps designedly, removed. I paused for breath; and, in the meantime, an accident occurred of too momentous a nature in a moral, and also in a metaphysical point of view, to be passed over without notice. It appeared to me—indeed I was quite confident of the fact—I could not be mistaken—no! I had, for some moments, carefully and anxiously observed the motions of my Diana—I say that I could not be mistaken—Diana smelt a rat! At once I called Pompey’s attention to the subject, and he—he agreed with me. There was then no longer any reasonable room for doubt. The rat had been smelled—and by Diana. Heavens! shall I ever forget the intense excitement of the moment? Alas! what is the boasted intellect of man? The rat!—it was there—that is to say, it was somewhere. Diana smelled the rat. I—I could not! Thus it is said the Prussian Isis has, for some persons, a sweet and very powerful perfume, while to others it is perfectly scentless.

I thought the staircase would never end. It went round and up, and round and up, and round and up, until I couldn't help but think, like the clever Pompey, whose arm I leaned on with the trust of youthful affection—I couldn’t help but think that the top of the endless spiral staircase had been either accidentally or maybe intentionally removed. I stopped to catch my breath; and in the meantime, something happened that was too important, both morally and metaphysically, to ignore. It seemed to me—actually, I was pretty sure—I couldn't be wrong—no! I had been watching my Diana's movements carefully and nervously for a while—I say I couldn't be mistaken—Diana sensed something was off! I immediately pointed this out to Pompey, and he agreed with me. There was then no reasonable doubt left. The rat had been sensed—and by Diana. Oh my! Will I ever forget the intense excitement of the moment? Sadly, what is the famed intellect of man? The rat!—it was there—that is to say, it was somewhere. Diana sensed the rat. I—I couldn’t! This is like how some people say the Prussian Isis has a sweet and very strong scent, while to others it has no smell at all.

The staircase had been surmounted, and there were now only three or four more upward steps intervening between us and the summit. We still ascended, and now only one step remained. One step! One little, little step! Upon one such little step in the great staircase of human life how vast a sum of human happiness or misery depends! I thought of myself, then of Pompey, and then of the mysterious and inexplicable destiny which surrounded us. I thought of Pompey!—alas, I thought of love! I thought of my many false steps which have been taken, and may be taken again. I resolved to be more cautious, more reserved. I abandoned the arm of Pompey, and, without his assistance, surmounted the one remaining step, and gained the chamber of the belfry. I was followed immediately afterward by my poodle. Pompey alone remained behind. I stood at the head of the staircase, and encouraged him to ascend. He stretched forth to me his hand, and unfortunately in so doing was forced to abandon his firm hold upon the overcoat. Will the gods never cease their persecution? The overcoat is dropped, and, with one of his feet, Pompey stepped upon the long and trailing skirt of the overcoat. He stumbled and fell—this consequence was inevitable. He fell forward, and, with his accursed head, striking me full in the—in the breast, precipitated me headlong, together with himself, upon the hard, filthy, and detestable floor of the belfry. But my revenge was sure, sudden, and complete. Seizing him furiously by the wool with both hands, I tore out a vast quantity of black, and crisp, and curling material, and tossed it from me with every manifestation of disdain. It fell among the ropes of the belfry and remained. Pompey arose, and said no word. But he regarded me piteously with his large eyes and—sighed. Ye Gods—that sigh! It sunk into my heart. And the hair—the wool! Could I have reached that wool I would have bathed it with my tears, in testimony of regret. But alas! it was now far beyond my grasp. As it dangled among the cordage of the bell, I fancied it alive. I fancied that it stood on end with indignation. Thus the happy-dandy Flos Aeris of Java bears, it is said, a beautiful flower, which will live when pulled up by the roots. The natives suspend it by a cord from the ceiling and enjoy its fragrance for years.

The staircase had been climbed, and there were now only three or four more steps left between us and the top. We kept going up, and now just one step remained. One step! Just a tiny step! On such a small step in the big staircase of human life, so much human happiness or misery hangs! I thought about myself, then about Pompey, and then about the mysterious and puzzling fate surrounding us. I thought of Pompey!—oh, I thought of love! I reflected on the many wrong turns I've taken and might take again. I decided to be more careful, more reserved. I let go of Pompey’s arm, and without his help, I climbed the last step and reached the belfry room. My poodle followed right after me. Pompey stayed behind. I stood at the top of the staircase and urged him to come up. He reached out to me, but in doing so, he had to let go of his grip on the overcoat. Will the gods never stop tormenting me? The overcoat dropped, and with one of his feet, Pompey stepped on its long, trailing hem. He stumbled and fell—this was bound to happen. He toppled forward, and with his unfortunate head, he knocked into me right in the—in the chest, sending both of us crashing down onto the hard, filthy, and disgusting floor of the belfry. But my revenge was quick, sudden, and complete. Grabbing him furiously by the fur with both hands, I yanked out a large handful of black, crisp, and curly hair, and tossed it away from me in disgust. It landed among the ropes in the belfry and stayed there. Pompey got up and said nothing. But he looked at me sadly with his big eyes and—sighed. Oh gods—that sigh! It pierced my heart. And the hair—the fur! If I could have reached that fur, I would have soaked it with my tears, as a sign of regret. But alas! it was now far out of my reach. As it hung among the bell’s ropes, I imagined it was alive. I imagined it standing up with indignation. Just like the happy-dandy Flos Aeris of Java, they say, bears a beautiful flower that lives even when pulled out by the roots. The locals hang it from a cord on the ceiling and enjoy its scent for years.

Our quarrel was now made up, and we looked about the room for an aperture through which to survey the city of Edina. Windows there were none. The sole light admitted into the gloomy chamber proceeded from a square opening, about a foot in diameter, at a height of about seven feet from the floor. Yet what will the energy of true genius not effect? I resolved to clamber up to this hole. A vast quantity of wheels, pinions, and other cabalistic-looking machinery stood opposite the hole, close to it; and through the hole there passed an iron rod from the machinery. Between the wheels and the wall where the hole lay there was barely room for my body—yet I was desperate, and determined to persevere. I called Pompey to my side.

Our argument was now settled, and we looked around the room for a way to see the city of Edina. There were no windows. The only light coming into the dark room came from a square opening about a foot in diameter, seven feet up from the floor. But what can true genius not achieve? I decided to climb up to this hole. A large amount of wheels, gears, and other strange-looking machinery was positioned right next to the opening; an iron rod from the machinery passed through the hole. There was barely enough space for my body between the wheels and the wall where the hole was — but I was desperate and determined to keep going. I called Pompey to join me.

“You perceive that aperture, Pompey. I wish to look through it. You will stand here just beneath the hole—so. Now, hold out one of your hands, Pompey, and let me step upon it—thus. Now, the other hand, Pompey, and with its aid I will get upon your shoulders.”

“You see that opening, Pompey? I want to look through it. You’ll stay right here beneath the hole—like this. Now, extend one of your hands, Pompey, and let me step on it—like this. Now, the other hand, Pompey, and with that, I’ll climb up onto your shoulders.”

He did every thing I wished, and I found, upon getting up, that I could easily pass my head and neck through the aperture. The prospect was sublime. Nothing could be more magnificent. I merely paused a moment to bid Diana behave herself, and assure Pompey that I would be considerate and bear as lightly as possible upon his shoulders. I told him I would be tender of his feelings—ossi tender que beefsteak. Having done this justice to my faithful friend, I gave myself up with great zest and enthusiasm to the enjoyment of the scene which so obligingly spread itself out before my eyes.

He did everything I asked, and when I got up, I realized that I could easily fit my head and neck through the opening. The view was breathtaking. Nothing could have been more amazing. I just took a moment to tell Diana to behave and assured Pompey that I'd be mindful and try not to put too much weight on him. I said I'd be considerate of his feelings—like being tender as a beef steak. After showing my appreciation to my loyal friend, I fully embraced the enjoyment of the stunning scene that unfolded before me.

Upon this subject, however, I shall forbear to dilate. I will not describe the city of Edinburgh. Every one has been to the city of Edinburgh. Every one has been to Edinburgh—the classic Edina. I will confine myself to the momentous details of my own lamentable adventure. Having, in some measure, satisfied my curiosity in regard to the extent, situation, and general appearance of the city, I had leisure to survey the church in which I was, and the delicate architecture of the steeple. I observed that the aperture through which I had thrust my head was an opening in the dial-plate of a gigantic clock, and must have appeared, from the street, as a large key-hole, such as we see in the face of the French watches. No doubt the true object was to admit the arm of an attendant, to adjust, when necessary, the hands of the clock from within. I observed also, with surprise, the immense size of these hands, the longest of which could not have been less than ten feet in length, and, where broadest, eight or nine inches in breadth. They were of solid steel apparently, and their edges appeared to be sharp. Having noticed these particulars, and some others, I again turned my eyes upon the glorious prospect below, and soon became absorbed in contemplation.

On this topic, though, I won’t go into detail. I won't describe the city of Edinburgh. Everyone has been to Edinburgh—classic Edina. I'll stick to the important details of my unfortunate adventure. After somewhat satisfying my curiosity about the city’s size, location, and overall appearance, I had time to look around the church I was in and admire the delicate architecture of the steeple. I noticed that the hole I had stuck my head through was an opening in the dial-plate of a giant clock, which must have looked like a large keyhole from the street, similar to those on French watches. Clearly, the purpose was to allow an attendant's arm to adjust the clock’s hands from inside when necessary. I was also surprised by the massive size of these hands, the longest of which must have been at least ten feet long, and at their widest, eight or nine inches across. They appeared to be solid steel, and their edges looked sharp. After noticing these details and a few others, I turned my eyes back to the beautiful view below and soon got lost in thought.

From this, after some minutes, I was aroused by the voice of Pompey, who declared that he could stand it no longer, and requested that I would be so kind as to come down. This was unreasonable, and I told him so in a speech of some length. He replied, but with an evident misunderstanding of my ideas upon the subject. I accordingly grew angry, and told him in plain words, that he was a fool, that he had committed an ignoramus e-clench-eye, that his notions were mere insommary Bovis, and his words little better than an ennemywerrybor’em. With this he appeared satisfied, and I resumed my contemplations.

After a few minutes, I was awakened by Pompey's voice, who said he couldn't take it any longer and asked me to come down. I thought that was unreasonable and expressed my thoughts in a lengthy speech. He responded, but clearly misunderstood my points. I got frustrated and told him straight out that he was being foolish, that he had made a silly mistake, that his ideas were complete nonsense, and that his words were barely better than nonsense. With that, he seemed satisfied, and I went back to my thoughts.

It might have been half an hour after this altercation when, as I was deeply absorbed in the heavenly scenery beneath me, I was startled by something very cold which pressed with a gentle pressure on the back of my neck. It is needless to say that I felt inexpressibly alarmed. I knew that Pompey was beneath my feet, and that Diana was sitting, according to my explicit directions, upon her hind legs, in the farthest corner of the room. What could it be? Alas! I but too soon discovered. Turning my head gently to one side, I perceived, to my extreme horror, that the huge, glittering, scimetar-like minute-hand of the clock had, in the course of its hourly revolution, descended upon my neck. There was, I knew, not a second to be lost. I pulled back at once—but it was too late. There was no chance of forcing my head through the mouth of that terrible trap in which it was so fairly caught, and which grew narrower and narrower with a rapidity too horrible to be conceived. The agony of that moment is not to be imagined. I threw up my hands and endeavored, with all my strength, to force upward the ponderous iron bar. I might as well have tried to lift the cathedral itself. Down, down, down it came, closer and yet closer. I screamed to Pompey for aid; but he said that I had hurt his feelings by calling him “an ignorant old squint-eye.” I yelled to Diana; but she only said “bow-wow-wow,” and that I had told her “on no account to stir from the corner.” Thus I had no relief to expect from my associates.

It was probably about half an hour after the argument when, while I was completely lost in the beautiful scenery below, I was suddenly jolted by something very cold pressing gently against the back of my neck. I was understandably alarmed. I knew Pompey was beneath me, and that Diana was sitting, as I had instructed, on her hind legs in the farthest corner of the room. What could it be? Unfortunately, I soon found out. Turning my head slightly to the side, I saw, to my utter shock, that the large, shiny, scimitar-like minute hand of the clock had, during its hourly sweep, come down on my neck. I realized there was no time to waste. I pulled back immediately—but it was too late. There was no way to force my head out from that terrible trap where it was so snugly stuck, and which was growing tighter at a speed too horrifying to imagine. The pain of that moment is unimaginable. I threw up my hands and tried with all my strength to lift the heavy iron bar. I might as well have tried to lift the entire cathedral itself. Down, down, down it came, closer and closer. I screamed for Pompey to help me; but he said he was hurt by my calling him “an ignorant old squint-eye.” I yelled for Diana; but she just responded “bow-wow-wow,” and reminded me that I had told her “on no account to stir from the corner.” So, I had no hope of relief from my companions.

Meantime the ponderous and terrific Scythe of Time (for I now discovered the literal import of that classical phrase) had not stopped, nor was it likely to stop, in its career. Down and still down, it came. It had already buried its sharp edge a full inch in my flesh, and my sensations grew indistinct and confused. At one time I fancied myself in Philadelphia with the stately Dr. Moneypenny, at another in the back parlor of Mr. Blackwood receiving his invaluable instructions. And then again the sweet recollection of better and earlier times came over me, and I thought of that happy period when the world was not all a desert, and Pompey not altogether cruel.

Meanwhile, the heavy and terrifying Scythe of Time (as I finally understood the true meaning of that old saying) kept moving forward, showing no signs of stopping. Down it came, and it had already sliced a full inch into my flesh, making my feelings grow unclear and jumbled. At one moment, I imagined I was in Philadelphia with the dignified Dr. Moneypenny, and at another, I was in the back parlor of Mr. Blackwood, receiving his priceless advice. Then, memories of better and happier times washed over me, and I thought about that joyful period when the world wasn’t completely desolate, and Pompey wasn't entirely cruel.

The ticking of the machinery amused me. Amused me, I say, for my sensations now bordered upon perfect happiness, and the most trifling circumstances afforded me pleasure. The eternal click-clak, click-clak, click-clak of the clock was the most melodious of music in my ears, and occasionally even put me in mind of the graceful sermonic harangues of Dr. Ollapod. Then there were the great figures upon the dial-plate—how intelligent how intellectual, they all looked! And presently they took to dancing the Mazurka, and I think it was the figure V. who performed the most to my satisfaction. She was evidently a lady of breeding. None of your swaggerers, and nothing at all indelicate in her motions. She did the pirouette to admiration—whirling round upon her apex. I made an endeavor to hand her a chair, for I saw that she appeared fatigued with her exertions—and it was not until then that I fully perceived my lamentable situation. Lamentable indeed! The bar had buried itself two inches in my neck. I was aroused to a sense of exquisite pain. I prayed for death, and, in the agony of the moment, could not help repeating those exquisite verses of the poet Miguel De Cervantes:

The ticking of the machinery made me smile. Yes, I say smile, because my feelings were now close to perfect happiness, and even the smallest things brought me joy. The constant click-clack, click-clack, click-clack of the clock was the sweetest music to my ears, and sometimes it even reminded me of the elegant sermons of Dr. Ollapod. Then there were the big numbers on the dial—how clever and sophisticated they all looked! Suddenly, they started dancing the Mazurka, and I think it was figure V. who impressed me the most. She clearly had good manners. No showboating, and nothing crude about her movements. She did the pirouette beautifully—spinning around on her point. I tried to offer her a chair because she seemed tired from all her dancing—and it was only then that I truly realized my unfortunate situation. Indeed unfortunate! The bar had sunk two inches into my neck. I was jolted into a sharp pain. I prayed for death, and in my agony, I couldn’t help but repeat those beautiful lines from the poet Miguel De Cervantes:

Vanny Buren, tan escondida
Query no te senty venny
Pork and pleasure, delly morry
Nommy, torny, darry, widdy!

Vanny Buren, so hidden
Query I didn't feel you, Venny
Pork and pleasure, darling Mory
Yummy, tarty, dandy, witty!

But now a new horror presented itself, and one indeed sufficient to startle the strongest nerves. My eyes, from the cruel pressure of the machine, were absolutely starting from their sockets. While I was thinking how I should possibly manage without them, one actually tumbled out of my head, and, rolling down the steep side of the steeple, lodged in the rain gutter which ran along the eaves of the main building. The loss of the eye was not so much as the insolent air of independence and contempt with which it regarded me after it was out. There it lay in the gutter just under my nose, and the airs it gave itself would have been ridiculous had they not been disgusting. Such a winking and blinking were never before seen. This behavior on the part of my eye in the gutter was not only irritating on account of its manifest insolence and shameful ingratitude, but was also exceedingly inconvenient on account of the sympathy which always exists between two eyes of the same head, however far apart. I was forced, in a manner, to wink and to blink, whether I would or not, in exact concert with the scoundrelly thing that lay just under my nose. I was presently relieved, however, by the dropping out of the other eye. In falling it took the same direction (possibly a concerted plot) as its fellow. Both rolled out of the gutter together, and in truth I was very glad to get rid of them.

But now a new horror appeared, enough to shock even the toughest nerves. My eyes, due to the intense pressure from the machine, were practically popping out of their sockets. While I was wondering how I would manage without them, one actually fell out of my head, rolling down the steep side of the steeple and landing in the rain gutter that ran along the eaves of the main building. Losing the eye wasn't as bad as its arrogant attitude, looking at me with independence and contempt after it was out. There it lay in the gutter right under my nose, and the airs it put on would have been funny if they weren't disgusting. The winking and blinking it did was something like I’d never seen before. This behavior from my eye in the gutter was not only irritating because of its clear insolence and shameful ingratitude, but also quite inconvenient due to the connection that always exists between two eyes in the same head, no matter how far apart they are. I was forced, in a way, to wink and blink, whether I liked it or not, in perfect sync with that scoundrel lying right under my nose. However, I was soon relieved when the other eye fell out too. As it fell, it took the same path (perhaps a coordinated plan) as its partner. Both rolled out of the gutter together, and truthfully, I was very glad to be rid of them.

The bar was now four inches and a half deep in my neck, and there was only a little bit of skin to cut through. My sensations were those of entire happiness, for I felt that in a few minutes, at farthest, I should be relieved from my disagreeable situation. And in this expectation I was not at all deceived. At twenty-five minutes past five in the afternoon, precisely, the huge minute-hand had proceeded sufficiently far on its terrible revolution to sever the small remainder of my neck. I was not sorry to see the head which had occasioned me so much embarrassment at length make a final separation from my body. It first rolled down the side of the steeple, then lodge, for a few seconds, in the gutter, and then made its way, with a plunge, into the middle of the street.

The bar was now four and a half inches deep in my neck, and there was only a little bit of skin left to cut through. I felt completely happy because I knew that in just a few minutes, at most, I would be free from my unpleasant situation. And I wasn't wrong in that expectation. At twenty-five minutes past five in the afternoon, the big minute hand had moved far enough in its dreadful arc to cut through the last bit of my neck. I wasn’t sorry to see the head that had caused me so much trouble finally separate from my body. It first rolled down the side of the steeple, then rested for a few seconds in the gutter, and then plunged right into the middle of the street.

I will candidly confess that my feelings were now of the most singular—nay, of the most mysterious, the most perplexing and incomprehensible character. My senses were here and there at one and the same moment. With my head I imagined, at one time, that I, the head, was the real Signora Psyche Zenobia—at another I felt convinced that myself, the body, was the proper identity. To clear my ideas on this topic I felt in my pocket for my snuff-box, but, upon getting it, and endeavoring to apply a pinch of its grateful contents in the ordinary manner, I became immediately aware of my peculiar deficiency, and threw the box at once down to my head. It took a pinch with great satisfaction, and smiled me an acknowledgement in return. Shortly afterward it made me a speech, which I could hear but indistinctly without ears. I gathered enough, however, to know that it was astonished at my wishing to remain alive under such circumstances. In the concluding sentences it quoted the noble words of Ariosto—

I honestly admit that my feelings were now very strange—actually, they were some of the most mysterious, confusing, and incomprehensible I’d ever experienced. My senses felt like they were everywhere all at once. At one moment, I thought that I, my head, was truly Signora Psyche Zenobia—while at another, I was convinced that I, my body, was the true identity. To clarify my thoughts on this, I reached into my pocket for my snuff-box. But when I got it and tried to take a pinch of its pleasant contents in the usual way, I quickly realized my peculiar lack and threw the box up to my head instead. It took a pinch with great pleasure and smiled back at me in acknowledgment. Soon after, it gave me a speech, which I could barely hear without ears. Still, I understood enough to know that it was surprised I wanted to stay alive in such circumstances. In the last part, it quoted the noble words of Ariosto—

Il pover hommy che non sera corty
And have a combat tenty erry morty;

Il pover hommy che non sera corty
And have a combat tenty erry morty;

thus comparing me to the hero who, in the heat of the combat, not perceiving that he was dead, continued to contest the battle with inextinguishable valor. There was nothing now to prevent my getting down from my elevation, and I did so. What it was that Pompey saw so very peculiar in my appearance I have never yet been able to find out. The fellow opened his mouth from ear to ear, and shut his two eyes as if he were endeavoring to crack nuts between the lids. Finally, throwing off his overcoat, he made one spring for the staircase and disappeared. I hurled after the scoundrel these vehement words of Demosthenes—

thus comparing me to the hero who, in the heat of battle, not realizing he was dead, continued to fight with unyielding courage. Nothing was stopping me from getting down from my elevated position, so I did. I've never figured out what it was that Pompey found so strange about my appearance. The guy opened his mouth wide and closed his eyes tightly, as if trying to crack nuts between his eyelids. Finally, tossing off his coat, he sprang for the staircase and vanished. I yelled after the scoundrel these vehement words of Demosthenes—

Andrew O’Phlegethon, you really make haste to fly,

Andrew O’Phlegethon, you really hurry to take off,

and then turned to the darling of my heart, to the one-eyed! the shaggy-haired Diana. Alas! what a horrible vision affronted my eyes? Was that a rat I saw skulking into his hole? Are these the picked bones of the little angel who has been cruelly devoured by the monster? Ye gods! and what do I behold—is that the departed spirit, the shade, the ghost, of my beloved puppy, which I perceive sitting with a grace so melancholy, in the corner? Hearken! for she speaks, and, heavens! it is in the German of Schiller—

and then turned to the love of my life, the one-eyed shaggy-haired Diana. Oh no! What a terrible sight meets my eyes! Was that a rat I just saw sneaking into its hole? Are these the gnawed bones of the little angel that the monster has cruelly eaten? Oh my gosh! And what is this? Is that the spirit, the shade, the ghost, of my beloved puppy, sitting so sadly in the corner? Listen! She's speaking, and, wow! It's in the German of Schiller—

“Unt stubby duk, so stubby dun
Duk she! duk she!”

“Unt stubby duk, so stubby dun
Duk she! duk she!”

Alas! and are not her words too true?

Alas! Aren't her words too true?

“And if I died, at least I died
For thee—for thee.”

“And if I died, at least I died
For you—for you.”

Sweet creature! she too has sacrificed herself in my behalf. Dogless, niggerless, headless, what now remains for the unhappy Signora Psyche Zenobia? Alas—nothing! I have done.

Sweet creature! She has sacrificed herself for me too. Without her dog, without her color, without her head, what is left for the unfortunate Signora Psyche Zenobia? Alas—nothing! I am finished.

MYSTIFICATION

Slid, if these be your “passados” and “montantes,” I’ll have none o’ them.
                    —NED KNOWLES.

Slid, if these are your "passados" and "montantes," I don’t want any of them.
                    —NED KNOWLES.

The Baron Ritzner von Jung was a noble Hungarian family, every member of which (at least as far back into antiquity as any certain records extend) was more or less remarkable for talent of some description—the majority for that species of grotesquerie in conception of which Tieck, a scion of the house, has given a vivid, although by no means the most vivid exemplifications. My acquaintance with Ritzner commenced at the magnificent Chateau Jung, into which a train of droll adventures, not to be made public, threw me during the summer months of the year 18—. Here it was that I obtained a place in his regard, and here, with somewhat more difficulty, a partial insight into his mental conformation. In later days this insight grew more clear, as the intimacy which had at first permitted it became more close; and when, after three years separation, we met at G——n, I knew all that it was necessary to know of the character of the Baron Ritzner von Jung.

The Baron Ritzner von Jung came from a noble Hungarian family, and every member, at least as far back as any records go, was known for some kind of talent—most notably for that kind of grotesquerie in creation that Tieck, a member of the family, vividly depicted, though not the most vividly. My connection with Ritzner began at the stunning Chateau Jung, where a series of amusing adventures, best kept private, led me during the summer of the year 18—. It was here that I gained a place in his favor and, with a bit more effort, a partial understanding of his mental makeup. Over time, this understanding became clearer as the closeness of our friendship increased. When we finally reunited after three years at G——n, I knew everything I needed to know about the character of Baron Ritzner von Jung.

I remember the buzz of curiosity which his advent excited within the college precincts on the night of the twenty-fifth of June. I remember still more distinctly, that while he was pronounced by all parties at first sight “the most remarkable man in the world,” no person made any attempt at accounting for his opinion. That he was unique appeared so undeniable, that it was deemed impertinent to inquire wherein the uniquity consisted. But, letting this matter pass for the present, I will merely observe that, from the first moment of his setting foot within the limits of the university, he began to exercise over the habits, manners, persons, purses, and propensities of the whole community which surrounded him, an influence the most extensive and despotic, yet at the same time the most indefinite and altogether unaccountable. Thus the brief period of his residence at the university forms an era in its annals, and is characterized by all classes of people appertaining to it or its dependencies as “that very extraordinary epoch forming the domination of the Baron Ritzner von Jung.”

I remember the excitement and curiosity his arrival sparked around the college on the night of June twenty-fifth. What stands out even more is that while everyone instantly labeled him “the most remarkable man in the world,” no one bothered to explain what made him think that way. It was so obvious he was one of a kind that asking what made him unique seemed rude. But putting that aside for now, I’ll just point out that from the moment he stepped onto campus, he began to exert a vast and overwhelming influence over the habits, manners, people, finances, and behaviors of everyone around him, an influence that was extensive, authoritative, yet also vague and completely inexplicable. So, the short time he spent at the university marks a significant chapter in its history, and people from all walks of life associated with it refer to it as “that very extraordinary period known as the rule of Baron Ritzner von Jung.”

Upon his advent to G——n, he sought me out in my apartments. He was then of no particular age, by which I mean that it was impossible to form a guess respecting his age by any data personally afforded. He might have been fifteen or fifty, and was twenty-one years and seven months. He was by no means a handsome man—perhaps the reverse. The contour of his face was somewhat angular and harsh. His forehead was lofty and very fair; his nose a snub; his eyes large, heavy, glassy, and meaningless. About the mouth there was more to be observed. The lips were gently protruded, and rested the one upon the other, after such a fashion that it is impossible to conceive any, even the most complex, combination of human features, conveying so entirely, and so singly, the idea of unmitigated gravity, solemnity and repose.

Upon his arrival at G——n, he looked for me in my rooms. He didn’t have a specific age; it was impossible to guess how old he was based on any personal traits. He could have been fifteen or fifty, but he was actually twenty-one years and seven months. He was definitely not a handsome guy—maybe even the opposite. His face had a bit of an angular and harsh shape. His forehead was high and very light; his nose was a bit flat; his eyes were large, heavy, glassy, and dull. There was more to notice about his mouth. His lips were slightly puckered and rested against each other in a way that made it hard to imagine any combination of human features conveying such a strong impression of total seriousness, solemnity, and calm.

It will be perceived, no doubt, from what I have already said, that the Baron was one of those human anomalies now and then to be found, who make the science of mystification the study and the business of their lives. For this science a peculiar turn of mind gave him instinctively the cue, while his physical appearance afforded him unusual facilities for carrying his prospects into effect. I firmly believe that no student at G——n, during that renowned epoch so quaintly termed the domination of the Baron Ritzner von Jung, ever rightly entered into the mystery which overshadowed his character. I truly think that no person at the university, with the exception of myself, ever suspected him to be capable of a joke, verbal or practical:—the old bull-dog at the garden-gate would sooner have been accused,—the ghost of Heraclitus,—or the wig of the Emeritus Professor of Theology. This, too, when it was evident that the most egregious and unpardonable of all conceivable tricks, whimsicalities and buffooneries were brought about, if not directly by him, at least plainly through his intermediate agency or connivance. The beauty, if I may so call it, of his art mystifique, lay in that consummate ability (resulting from an almost intuitive knowledge of human nature, and a most wonderful self-possession,) by means of which he never failed to make it appear that the drolleries he was occupied in bringing to a point, arose partly in spite, and partly in consequence of the laudable efforts he was making for their prevention, and for the preservation of the good order and dignity of Alma Mater. The deep, the poignant, the overwhelming mortification, which upon each such failure of his praise worthy endeavors, would suffuse every lineament of his countenance, left not the slightest room for doubt of his sincerity in the bosoms of even his most skeptical companions. The adroitness, too, was no less worthy of observation by which he contrived to shift the sense of the grotesque from the creator to the created—from his own person to the absurdities to which he had given rise. In no instance before that of which I speak, have I known the habitual mystific escape the natural consequence of his manoevres—an attachment of the ludicrous to his own character and person. Continually enveloped in an atmosphere of whim, my friend appeared to live only for the severities of society; and not even his own household have for a moment associated other ideas than those of the rigid and august with the memory of the Baron Ritzner von Jung.

It's clear from what I've already mentioned that the Baron was one of those unique individuals found occasionally, who make the craft of mystification their life's work. He had a natural disposition for this craft, aided by his physical appearance, which allowed him to execute his plans effectively. I truly believe that no student at G——n, during that famous time aptly referred to as the reign of Baron Ritzner von Jung, ever fully understood the mystery surrounding his character. I honestly think that no one at the university, except for me, ever suspected him of being capable of a joke, whether verbal or practical: even the old bulldog at the garden gate would have been more likely accused, or the ghost of Heraclitus, or the wig of the Emeritus Professor of Theology. This was especially apparent when it was clear that the most outrageous and unforgivable pranks, oddities, and antics were either directly caused by him or at least facilitated through his involvement or approval. The charm, if I can call it that, of his mystifying art lay in his remarkable skill (resulting from an almost instinctive understanding of human nature and an incredible composure) that ensured he always managed to make it seem that the absurdities he was orchestrating arose partly despite, and partly due to, his earnest efforts to prevent them and to maintain the good order and dignity of Alma Mater. The deep, intense humiliation that showed on his face after each failure of his noble efforts left no doubt about his sincerity in the minds of even his most doubtful friends. His cleverness in shifting the absurdity from himself to the silly situations he created was also notable. Before this instance, I had never seen a habitual mystifier evade the natural consequence of their actions—an association of the ridiculous with their own character. Constantly surrounded by a whimsical atmosphere, my friend seemed to live only for the serious aspects of society; and not even his own household ever associated anything other than the strict and dignified with the memory of Baron Ritzner von Jung.

During the epoch of his residence at G——n it really appeared that the demon of the dolce far niente lay like an incubus upon the university. Nothing, at least, was done beyond eating and drinking and making merry. The apartments of the students were converted into so many pot-houses, and there was no pot-house of them all more famous or more frequented than that of the Baron. Our carousals here were many, and boisterous, and long, and never unfruitful of events.

During his time at G——n, it honestly felt like the spirit of laziness was weighing down the university. People were mostly just eating, drinking, and having fun. The students’ rooms turned into a bunch of pubs, and there wasn’t one more popular or better known than the Baron's. Our parties there were numerous, wild, lengthy, and always filled with happenings.

Upon one occasion we had protracted our sitting until nearly daybreak, and an unusual quantity of wine had been drunk. The company consisted of seven or eight individuals besides the Baron and myself. Most of these were young men of wealth, of high connection, of great family pride, and all alive with an exaggerated sense of honor. They abounded in the most ultra German opinions respecting the duello. To these Quixotic notions some recent Parisian publications, backed by three or four desperate and fatal rencounters at G——n, had given new vigor and impulse; and thus the conversation, during the greater part of the night, had run wild upon the all-engrossing topic of the times. The Baron, who had been unusually silent and abstracted in the earlier portion of the evening, at length seemed to be aroused from his apathy, took a leading part in the discourse, and dwelt upon the benefits, and more especially upon the beauties, of the received code of etiquette in passages of arms with an ardor, an eloquence, an impressiveness, and an affectionateness of manner, which elicited the warmest enthusiasm from his hearers in general, and absolutely staggered even myself, who well knew him to be at heart a ridiculer of those very points for which he contended, and especially to hold the entire fanfaronade of duelling etiquette in the sovereign contempt which it deserves.

One time, we had extended our gathering until almost dawn, and quite a bit of wine had been consumed. The group included seven or eight people in addition to the Baron and me. Most of them were wealthy young men with high social status, strong family pride, and an exaggerated sense of honor. They were full of extreme German ideas about dueling. Some recent publications from Paris, along with a few desperate and deadly encounters at G——n, had given new life to these romantic notions; thus, the conversation had mostly revolved around this all-consuming topic throughout the night. The Baron, who had been unusually quiet and lost in thought earlier in the evening, finally seemed to shake off his indifference and took a leading role in the discussion. He spoke passionately and eloquently about the advantages, and especially the nuances, of the accepted rules of engagement in duels, impressing everyone around him and even shocking me. I knew that deep down, he ridiculed the very principles he was advocating, particularly holding the entire pompousness of dueling etiquette in the contempt it truly deserves.

Looking around me during a pause in the Baron’s discourse (of which my readers may gather some faint idea when I say that it bore resemblance to the fervid, chanting, monotonous, yet musical sermonic manner of Coleridge), I perceived symptoms of even more than the general interest in the countenance of one of the party. This gentleman, whom I shall call Hermann, was an original in every respect—except, perhaps, in the single particular that he was a very great fool. He contrived to bear, however, among a particular set at the university, a reputation for deep metaphysical thinking, and, I believe, for some logical talent. As a duellist he had acquired great renown, even at G——n. I forget the precise number of victims who had fallen at his hands; but they were many. He was a man of courage undoubtedly. But it was upon his minute acquaintance with the etiquette of the duello, and the nicety of his sense of honor, that he most especially prided himself. These things were a hobby which he rode to the death. To Ritzner, ever upon the lookout for the grotesque, his peculiarities had for a long time past afforded food for mystification. Of this, however, I was not aware; although, in the present instance, I saw clearly that something of a whimsical nature was upon the tapis with my friend, and that Hermann was its especial object.

Looking around me during a break in the Baron’s speech (which you might imagine resembled the passionate, chant-like, repetitive, yet melodic preaching style of Coleridge), I noticed something more than just general interest on one person's face in the group. This guy, whom I’ll call Hermann, was unique in every way—except, maybe, for the fact that he was quite a big fool. Still, he managed to have a reputation among a certain crowd at the university as a deep thinker in metaphysics, and I think he was regarded as somewhat logical. He had also earned a great reputation as a duelist, even at G——n. I forget the exact number of opponents he had defeated, but it was quite a few. He was definitely brave. However, he took particular pride in his detailed knowledge of duel etiquette and his strict sense of honor. These things were like a passion for him. For Ritzner, who was always on the lookout for the absurd, Hermann’s quirks had been a source of amusement for a long time. I wasn’t aware of this, but it was clear to me that something quirky was going on with my friend, and that Hermann was at the center of it.

As the former proceeded in his discourse, or rather monologue, I perceived the excitement of the latter momently increasing. At length he spoke; offering some objection to a point insisted upon by R., and giving his reasons in detail. To these the Baron replied at length (still maintaining his exaggerated tone of sentiment) and concluding, in what I thought very bad taste, with a sarcasm and a sneer. The hobby of Hermann now took the bit in his teeth. This I could discern by the studied hair-splitting farrago of his rejoinder. His last words I distinctly remember. “Your opinions, allow me to say, Baron von Jung, although in the main correct, are, in many nice points, discreditable to yourself and to the university of which you are a member. In a few respects they are even unworthy of serious refutation. I would say more than this, sir, were it not for the fear of giving you offence (here the speaker smiled blandly), I would say, sir, that your opinions are not the opinions to be expected from a gentleman.”

As the first person continued his speech, or rather a monologue, I noticed the excitement of the second person steadily increasing. Finally, he spoke; he raised an objection to a point made by R. and detailed his reasons. The Baron responded at length (still keeping up his overly sentimental tone) and concluded, in what I thought was very poor taste, with sarcasm and a sneer. Hermann's passion now took over. I could tell by the complicated and tedious nature of his response. I clearly remember his last words: “Your opinions, Baron von Jung, though mostly correct, are, in many subtle ways, discreditable to both yourself and the university you represent. In some respects, they’re even not worth a serious reply. I’d say more, sir, if I weren’t worried about offending you (here the speaker smiled sweetly), but I must say, sir, that your views are not what one would expect from a gentleman.”

As Hermann completed this equivocal sentence, all eyes were turned upon the Baron. He became pale, then excessively red; then, dropping his pocket-handkerchief, stooped to recover it, when I caught a glimpse of his countenance, while it could be seen by no one else at the table. It was radiant with the quizzical expression which was its natural character, but which I had never seen it assume except when we were alone together, and when he unbent himself freely. In an instant afterward he stood erect, confronting Hermann; and so total an alteration of countenance in so short a period I certainly never saw before. For a moment I even fancied that I had misconceived him, and that he was in sober earnest. He appeared to be stifling with passion, and his face was cadaverously white. For a short time he remained silent, apparently striving to master his emotion. Having at length seemingly succeeded, he reached a decanter which stood near him, saying as he held it firmly clenched—“The language you have thought proper to employ, Mynheer Hermann, in addressing yourself to me, is objectionable in so many particulars, that I have neither temper nor time for specification. That my opinions, however, are not the opinions to be expected from a gentleman, is an observation so directly offensive as to allow me but one line of conduct. Some courtesy, nevertheless, is due to the presence of this company, and to yourself, at this moment, as my guest. You will pardon me, therefore, if, upon this consideration, I deviate slightly from the general usage among gentlemen in similar cases of personal affront. You will forgive me for the moderate tax I shall make upon your imagination, and endeavor to consider, for an instant, the reflection of your person in yonder mirror as the living Mynheer Hermann himself. This being done, there will be no difficulty whatever. I shall discharge this decanter of wine at your image in yonder mirror, and thus fulfil all the spirit, if not the exact letter, of resentment for your insult, while the necessity of physical violence to your real person will be obviated.”

As Hermann finished this ambiguous statement, everyone turned their attention to the Baron. He went pale, then turned bright red; then, dropping his handkerchief, he bent down to pick it up, and I caught a glimpse of his face, which no one else at the table could see. It was lit up with a teasing expression that was typical for him but one I had only seen when we were alone and he let his guard down. In an instant, he stood up straight, facing Hermann; I had never seen such a complete change in someone's expression in such a short time. For a moment, I even thought I might have misjudged him and that he was being serious. He looked like he was struggling to contain his anger, and his face was deathly pale. He stayed silent for a short while, seemingly trying to control his emotions. Once he seemed to have succeeded, he reached for a decanter nearby, firmly gripping it as he said, “The language you chose to use, Mynheer Hermann, when addressing me, is problematic in so many ways that I neither have the patience nor the time to list them all. However, the fact that my views are not what one would expect from a gentleman is an insult so direct that it leaves me with only one course of action. Still, some courtesy is owed to the people here and to you as my guest at this moment. So, please forgive me if, considering this, I stray slightly from the usual behavior among gentlemen in the case of personal insult. Please indulge me for a moment and picture your reflection in that mirror as the living Mynheer Hermann himself. Once you've done that, everything will be straightforward. I will pour this decanter of wine over your image in that mirror, fulfilling the spirit, if not the exact terms, of my response to your insult, while avoiding the need for actual physical violence against you.”

With these words he hurled the decanter, full of wine, against the mirror which hung directly opposite Hermann; striking the reflection of his person with great precision, and of course shattering the glass into fragments. The whole company at once started to their feet, and, with the exception of myself and Ritzner, took their departure. As Hermann went out, the Baron whispered me that I should follow him and make an offer of my services. To this I agreed; not knowing precisely what to make of so ridiculous a piece of business.

With those words, he threw the decanter, filled with wine, at the mirror directly across from Hermann, hitting his reflection perfectly and shattering the glass into pieces. The entire group instantly stood up, and except for me and Ritzner, they all left. As Hermann walked out, the Baron whispered for me to follow him and offer my help. I agreed, not really knowing what to make of such a ridiculous situation.

The duellist accepted my aid with his stiff and ultra recherché air, and, taking my arm, led me to his apartment. I could hardly forbear laughing in his face while he proceeded to discuss, with the profoundest gravity, what he termed “the refinedly peculiar character” of the insult he had received. After a tiresome harangue in his ordinary style, he took down from his book shelves a number of musty volumes on the subject of the duello, and entertained me for a long time with their contents; reading aloud, and commenting earnestly as he read. I can just remember the titles of some of the works. There were the “Ordonnance of Philip le Bel on Single Combat”; the “Theatre of Honor,” by Favyn, and a treatise “On the Permission of Duels,” by Andiguier. He displayed, also, with much pomposity, Brantome’s “Memoirs of Duels,” published at Cologne, 1666, in the types of Elzevir—a precious and unique vellum-paper volume, with a fine margin, and bound by Derome. But he requested my attention particularly, and with an air of mysterious sagacity, to a thick octavo, written in barbarous Latin by one Hedelin, a Frenchman, and having the quaint title, “Duelli Lex Scripta, et non; aliterque.” From this he read me one of the drollest chapters in the world concerning “Injuriae per applicationem, per constructionem, et per se,” about half of which, he averred, was strictly applicable to his own “refinedly peculiar” case, although not one syllable of the whole matter could I understand for the life of me. Having finished the chapter, he closed the book, and demanded what I thought necessary to be done. I replied that I had entire confidence in his superior delicacy of feeling, and would abide by what he proposed. With this answer he seemed flattered, and sat down to write a note to the Baron. It ran thus:

The duelist accepted my help with his stiff and ultra sophisticated demeanor and, taking my arm, led me to his apartment. I could barely hold back my laughter as he seriously discussed what he called “the unusually refined nature” of the insult he had received. After a long, tedious rant in his usual style, he pulled down several dusty books about dueling from his shelves and entertained me for a while with their contents, reading aloud and commenting earnestly as he went. I can just remember the titles of some of the works. There was the “Ordinance of Philip the Fair on Single Combat,” the “Theatre of Honor” by Favyn, and a treatise “On the Permission of Duels” by Andiguier. He also showed off, with much pomp, Brantome’s “Memoirs of Duels,” published in Cologne in 1666, in Elzevir type—a valuable and unique vellum-paper book, with a nice margin, bound by Derome. But he especially asked for my attention, with an air of mysterious wisdom, to a thick octavo written in awkward Latin by a Frenchman named Hedelin, titled “Duelli Lex Scripta, et non; aliterque.” From this, he read me one of the funniest chapters ever about “Injuriae per applicationem, per constructionem, et per se,” claiming that about half of it was directly relevant to his own “unusually refined” situation, even though I couldn't understand a single word of it. After finishing the chapter, he closed the book and asked what I thought needed to be done. I told him that I had complete trust in his superior sensitivity and would go along with whatever he suggested. With that response, he seemed pleased and sat down to write a note to the Baron. It read as follows:

Sir,—My friend, M. P.-, will hand you this note. I find it incumbent upon me to request, at your earliest convenience, an explanation of this evening’s occurrences at your chambers. In the event of your declining this request, Mr. P. will be happy to arrange, with any friend whom you may appoint, the steps preliminary to a meeting.

Sir,—My friend, M. P.-, will give you this note. I feel it’s important to ask you, at your earliest convenience, for an explanation of what happened this evening at your place. If you prefer not to respond to this request, Mr. P. would be glad to coordinate with any friend you designate to arrange the steps leading to a meeting.

With sentiments of perfect respect,

With utmost respect,

Your most humble servant,
JOHANN HERMAN.

Your most humble servant,
JOHANN HERMAN.

To the Baron Ritzner von Jung,
August 18th, 18
—.”

To Baron Ritzner von Jung,
August 18th, 18
—.

Not knowing what better to do, I called upon Ritzner with this epistle. He bowed as I presented it; then, with a grave countenance, motioned me to a seat. Having perused the cartel, he wrote the following reply, which I carried to Hermann.

Not knowing what else to do, I reached out to Ritzner with this letter. He bowed as I handed it to him; then, with a serious expression, gestured for me to take a seat. After reading the letter, he wrote the following response, which I took to Hermann.

“SIR,—Through our common friend, Mr. P., I have received your note of this evening. Upon due reflection I frankly admit the propriety of the explanation you suggest. This being admitted, I still find great difficulty, (owing to the refinedly peculiar nature of our disagreement, and of the personal affront offered on my part,) in so wording what I have to say by way of apology, as to meet all the minute exigencies, and all the variable shadows, of the case. I have great reliance, however, on that extreme delicacy of discrimination, in matters appertaining to the rules of etiquette, for which you have been so long and so pre-eminently distinguished. With perfect certainty, therefore, of being comprehended, I beg leave, in lieu of offering any sentiments of my own, to refer you to the opinions of Sieur Hedelin, as set forth in the ninth paragraph of the chapter of “Injuriae per applicationem, per constructionem, et per se,” in his “Duelli Lex scripta, et non; aliterque.” The nicety of your discernment in all the matters here treated, will be sufficient, I am assured, to convince you that the mere circumstance of me referring you to this admirable passage, ought to satisfy your request, as a man of honor, for explanation.

“Sir,—Through our mutual friend, Mr. P., I received your note this evening. After thinking it over, I honestly see the need for the explanation you propose. That said, I still find it quite challenging, given the uniquely sensitive nature of our disagreement and the personal slight I’ve caused, to express my apology in a way that addresses all the nuanced details and shifting circumstances involved. However, I have great faith in your exceptional ability to discern the finer points of etiquette, for which you have been well known for so long. Therefore, with the certainty that you will understand me, I would like to direct you, instead of sharing my own thoughts, to the views of Sieur Hedelin as outlined in the ninth paragraph of the chapter titled “Injuriae per applicationem, per constructionem, et per se,” from his work “Duelli Lex scripta, et non; aliterque.” I trust that your keen insight into these matters will convince you that simply my reference to this excellent passage should fulfill your request, as a man of honor, for clarification.

“With sentiments of profound respect,

“With great respect,

“Your most obedient servant,
“VON JUNG.”

"Your most obedient servant,
“VON JUNG.”

“The Herr Johann Hermann,
August 18th, 18—”

“The Mr. Johann Hermann,
August 18th, 18—”

Hermann commenced the perusal of this epistle with a scowl, which, however, was converted into a smile of the most ludicrous self-complacency as he came to the rigmarole about Injuriae per applicationem, per constructionem, et per se. Having finished reading, he begged me, with the blandest of all possible smiles, to be seated, while he made reference to the treatise in question. Turning to the passage specified, he read it with great care to himself, then closed the book, and desired me, in my character of confidential acquaintance, to express to the Baron von Jung his exalted sense of his chivalrous behavior, and, in that of second, to assure him that the explanation offered was of the fullest, the most honorable, and the most unequivocally satisfactory nature.

Hermann started reading this letter with a frown, but it quickly turned into a grin of the most ridiculous self-satisfaction as he got to the confusing part about Injuriae per applicationem, per constructionem, et per se. Once he finished reading, he kindly asked me, with the friendliest of smiles, to take a seat while he referred to the relevant treatise. He turned to the specified passage, read it carefully to himself, then closed the book and asked me, as a close acquaintance, to convey to Baron von Jung his high regard for his gallant conduct, and, in my role as a second, to assure him that the explanation given was complete, honorable, and completely satisfactory.

Somewhat amazed at all this, I made my retreat to the Baron. He seemed to receive Hermann’s amicable letter as a matter of course, and after a few words of general conversation, went to an inner room and brought out the everlasting treatise “Duelli Lex scripta, et non; aliterque.” He handed me the volume and asked me to look over some portion of it. I did so, but to little purpose, not being able to gather the least particle of meaning. He then took the book himself, and read me a chapter aloud. To my surprise, what he read proved to be a most horribly absurd account of a duel between two baboons. He now explained the mystery; showing that the volume, as it appeared prima facie, was written upon the plan of the nonsense verses of Du Bartas; that is to say, the language was ingeniously framed so as to present to the ear all the outward signs of intelligibility, and even of profundity, while in fact not a shadow of meaning existed. The key to the whole was found in leaving out every second and third word alternately, when there appeared a series of ludicrous quizzes upon a single combat as practised in modern times.

Somewhat amazed by all of this, I retreated to the Baron. He seemed to take Hermann’s friendly letter in stride, and after a few general conversation pieces, he went to an inner room and brought out the endless treatise “Duelli Lex scripta, et non; aliterque.” He handed me the book and asked me to look over some parts of it. I did, but to no avail, as I couldn’t make sense of it at all. He then took the book himself and read a chapter aloud to me. To my surprise, what he read turned out to be a ridiculously absurd account of a duel between two baboons. He then explained the mystery; showing that the volume, as it appeared prima facie, was structured like the nonsensical verses of Du Bartas; meaning the language was cleverly crafted to give the impression of coherence, and even depth, while in reality, there wasn’t a hint of meaning. The key to understanding it was to skip every second and third word alternately, which revealed a series of hilarious takes on single combat as practiced in modern times.

The Baron afterwards informed me that he had purposely thrown the treatise in Hermann’s way two or three weeks before the adventure, and that he was satisfied, from the general tenor of his conversation, that he had studied it with the deepest attention, and firmly believed it to be a work of unusual merit. Upon this hint he proceeded. Hermann would have died a thousand deaths rather than acknowledge his inability to understand anything and everything in the universe that had ever been written about the duello.

The Baron later told me that he had intentionally put the treatise in Hermann’s path two or three weeks before the incident, and he felt confident, based on the overall tone of his conversations, that Hermann had studied it with great care and genuinely believed it was an exceptionally valuable piece of work. With this in mind, he moved forward. Hermann would have preferred to face a thousand deaths rather than admit he didn't understand anything and everything ever written about the duello.

DIDDLING

CONSIDERED AS ONE OF THE EXACT SCIENCES.

Hey, diddle diddle
The cat and the fiddle

Hey, diddle diddle
The cat and the fiddle

Since the world began there have been two Jeremys. The one wrote a Jeremiad about usury, and was called Jeremy Bentham. He has been much admired by Mr. John Neal, and was a great man in a small way. The other gave name to the most important of the Exact Sciences, and was a great man in a great way—I may say, indeed, in the very greatest of ways.

Since the world began, there have been two Jeremys. One wrote a Jeremiad about usury and was called Jeremy Bentham. He has been much admired by Mr. John Neal and was a significant figure in a small way. The other is the namesake of the most important of the Exact Sciences and was a great figure in a big way—I might even say, in the greatest way possible.

Diddling—or the abstract idea conveyed by the verb to diddle—is sufficiently well understood. Yet the fact, the deed, the thing diddling, is somewhat difficult to define. We may get, however, at a tolerably distinct conception of the matter in hand, by defining—not the thing, diddling, in itself—but man, as an animal that diddles. Had Plato but hit upon this, he would have been spared the affront of the picked chicken.

Diddling—or the basic idea behind the verb to diddle—is pretty well understood. However, the actual act of diddling is a bit tricky to define. We can get a clearer understanding of what we're talking about by defining not the act itself, diddling, but rather a person as an animal that diddles. If Plato had figured this out, he would have avoided the embarrassment of the picked chicken.

Very pertinently it was demanded of Plato, why a picked chicken, which was clearly “a biped without feathers,” was not, according to his own definition, a man? But I am not to be bothered by any similar query. Man is an animal that diddles, and there is no animal that diddles but man. It will take an entire hen-coop of picked chickens to get over that.

It was pointed out to Plato why a chosen chicken, which was obviously "a two-legged animal without feathers," didn't fit his definition of a man. But I'm not going to get caught up in that kind of question. A man is an animal that plays around, and no other animal plays around except for humans. It would take a whole coop full of plucked chickens to make sense of that.

What constitutes the essence, the nare, the principle of diddling is, in fact, peculiar to the class of creatures that wear coats and pantaloons. A crow thieves; a fox cheats; a weasel outwits; a man diddles. To diddle is his destiny. “Man was made to mourn,” says the poet. But not so:—he was made to diddle. This is his aim—his object—his end. And for this reason when a man’s diddled we say he’s “done.”

What defines the essence, the nature, the principle of trickery is, in fact, specific to the class of beings that wear coats and pants. A crow steals; a fox deceives; a weasel outsmarts; a man tricks. To trick is his purpose. “Man was made to mourn,” says the poet. But that’s not true—he was made to trick. This is his goal—his objective—his ultimate aim. And for this reason, when a man gets tricked, we say he’s “done.”

Diddling, rightly considered, is a compound, of which the ingredients are minuteness, interest, perseverance, ingenuity, audacity, nonchalance, originality, impertinence, and grin.

Diddling, when you think about it, is a mix of qualities, including attention to detail, curiosity, persistence, creativity, boldness, casualness, uniqueness, cheekiness, and a smile.

Minuteness:—Your diddler is minute. His operations are upon a small scale. His business is retail, for cash, or approved paper at sight. Should he ever be tempted into magnificent speculation, he then, at once, loses his distinctive features, and becomes what we term “financier.” This latter word conveys the diddling idea in every respect except that of magnitude. A diddler may thus be regarded as a banker in petto—a “financial operation,” as a diddle at Brobdignag. The one is to the other, as Homer to “Flaccus”—as a Mastodon to a mouse—as the tail of a comet to that of a pig.

Minuteness:—Your scam artist is small-time. Their operations are on a small scale. Their business is retail, for cash or approved checks at sight. If they ever get tempted into grand speculation, they immediately lose their unique characteristics and become what we call a “financier.” This latter term reflects the same scammy concept in every way except for the scale. A scam artist can be seen as a banker in petto—a “financial operation” is like a scam in a huge way. One is to the other, as Homer is to “Flaccus”—as a Mastodon is to a mouse—as the tail of a comet is to that of a pig.

Interest:—Your diddler is guided by self-interest. He scorns to diddle for the mere sake of the diddle. He has an object in view—his pocket—and yours. He regards always the main chance. He looks to Number One. You are Number Two, and must look to yourself.

Interest:—Your trickster is motivated by self-interest. He refuses to deceive just for the sake of deception. He has a goal in mind—his own benefit—and yours. He always considers the best opportunity for himself. He puts himself first. You come second, so you need to take care of yourself.

Perseverance:—Your diddler perseveres. He is not readily discouraged. Should even the banks break, he cares nothing about it. He steadily pursues his end, and

Perseverance:—Your hustler perseveres. He doesn't get easily discouraged. Even if the banks collapse, he doesn't worry about it. He consistently goes after his goal, and

‘Ut canis a corio nunquam absterrebitur uncto,’

‘A dog will never be freed from its skin with ointment,’

so he never lets go of his game.

so he never gives up on his game.

Ingenuity:—Your diddler is ingenious. He has constructiveness large. He understands plot. He invents and circumvents. Were he not Alexander he would be Diogenes. Were he not a diddler, he would be a maker of patent rat-traps or an angler for trout.

Ingenuity:—Your trickster is clever. He has great creativity. He understands storytelling. He invents and finds ways around obstacles. If he weren't Alexander, he would be Diogenes. If he weren't a trickster, he would be someone who invents patent rat traps or a fisherman for trout.

Audacity:—Your diddler is audacious.—He is a bold man. He carries the war into Africa. He conquers all by assault. He would not fear the daggers of Frey Herren. With a little more prudence Dick Turpin would have made a good diddler; with a trifle less blarney, Daniel O’Connell; with a pound or two more brains, Charles the Twelfth.

Audacity:—Your trickster is bold.—He is a daring man. He takes the fight straight to the enemy. He conquers everything head-on. He wouldn’t fear the daggers of Frey Herren. With a bit more caution, Dick Turpin could have been a great trickster; with a little less charm, Daniel O’Connell; with a few more smarts, Charles the Twelfth.

Nonchalance:—Your diddler is nonchalant. He is not at all nervous. He never had any nerves. He is never seduced into a flurry. He is never put out—unless put out of doors. He is cool—cool as a cucumber. He is calm—“calm as a smile from Lady Bury.” He is easy—easy as an old glove, or the damsels of ancient Baiæ.

Nonchalance:—Your diddler is laid-back. He’s not nervous at all. He never gets anxious. He never gets worked up. He never gets upset—unless he’s put outside. He’s cool—cool as a cucumber. He’s calm—“calm as a smile from Lady Bury.” He’s chill—chill like an old glove or the ladies of ancient Baiæ.

Originality:—Your diddler is original—conscientiously so. His thoughts are his own. He would scorn to employ those of another. A stale trick is his aversion. He would return a purse, I am sure, upon discovering that he had obtained it by an unoriginal diddle.

Originality:—Your swindler is original—carefully so. His thoughts are his own. He would never use someone else's ideas. A tired trick disgusts him. I'm sure he would return a wallet if he found out he got it through an unoriginal con.

Impertinence:—Your diddler is impertinent. He swaggers. He sets his arms a-kimbo. He thrusts his hands in his trowsers’ pockets. He sneers in your face. He treads on your corns. He eats your dinner, he drinks your wine, he borrows your money, he pulls your nose, he kicks your poodle, and he kisses your wife.

Impertinence:—Your sneaky guy is rude. He struts around. He puts his hands on his hips. He sticks his hands in his pants pockets. He smirks right at you. He steps on your toes. He eats your dinner, drinks your wine, borrows your money, pulls your nose, kicks your dog, and kisses your wife.

Grin:—Your true diddler winds up all with a grin. But this nobody sees but himself. He grins when his daily work is done—when his allotted labors are accomplished—at night in his own closet, and altogether for his own private entertainment. He goes home. He locks his door. He divests himself of his clothes. He puts out his candle. He gets into bed. He places his head upon the pillow. All this done, and your diddler grins. This is no hypothesis. It is a matter of course. I reason à priori, and a diddle would be no diddle without a grin.

Grin:—Your real trickster ends everything with a grin. But this is only seen by him. He grins when his daily tasks are finished—when he’s completed what he needs to do—at night in his own space, just for his own enjoyment. He goes home, locks his door, takes off his clothes, blows out his candle, gets into bed, and rests his head on the pillow. Once all of this is done, your trickster grins. This isn’t a theory. It’s just how it is. I think logically, and a trick would be no trick without a grin.

The origin of the diddle is referrable to the infancy of the Human Race. Perhaps the first diddler was Adam. At all events, we can trace the science back to a very remote period of antiquity. The moderns, however, have brought it to a perfection never dreamed of by our thick-headed progenitors. Without pausing to speak of the “old saws,” therefore, I shall content myself with a compendious account of some of the more “modern instances.”

The origin of the diddle goes back to the early days of humanity. Maybe the first diddler was Adam. In any case, we can trace this practice back to a very ancient time. However, modern people have taken it to a level that our slow-witted ancestors could never have imagined. Without getting into the “old sayings,” I will simply provide a brief overview of some more “modern examples.”

A very good diddle is this. A housekeeper in want of a sofa, for instance, is seen to go in and out of several cabinet warehouses. At length she arrives at one offering an excellent variety. She is accosted, and invited to enter, by a polite and voluble individual at the door. She finds a sofa well adapted to her views, and upon inquiring the price, is surprised and delighted to hear a sum named at least twenty per cent. lower than her expectations. She hastens to make the purchase, gets a bill and receipt, leaves her address, with a request that the article be sent home as speedily as possible, and retires amid a profusion of bows from the shopkeeper. The night arrives and no sofa. A servant is sent to make inquiry about the delay. The whole transaction is denied. No sofa has been sold—no money received—except by the diddler, who played shop-keeper for the nonce.

This is quite a clever scam. A housekeeper looking for a sofa goes in and out of several furniture stores. Eventually, she finds one with a great selection. A friendly and talkative person greets her at the door and invites her in. She spots a sofa that perfectly fits her needs, and when she asks for the price, she is pleasantly surprised to hear a figure that is at least twenty percent lower than she expected. Excited, she quickly agrees to buy it, receives a bill and a receipt, provides her address, and asks for it to be delivered as soon as possible, leaving the store while the shopkeeper bows profusely. Night falls, and still no sofa. A servant is sent to ask about the delay. The entire transaction is denied. No sofa was sold—no money received—except by the scammer who pretended to be the shopkeeper for the moment.

Our cabinet warehouses are left entirely unattended, and thus afford every facility for a trick of this kind. Visitors enter, look at furniture, and depart unheeded and unseen. Should any one wish to purchase, or to inquire the price of an article, a bell is at hand, and this is considered amply sufficient.

Our cabinet warehouses are completely unattended, which makes it easy for tricks like this to happen. Visitors come in, check out the furniture, and leave without anyone noticing. If someone wants to buy something or ask about the price, there's a bell nearby, and that's thought to be more than enough.

Again, quite a respectable diddle is this. A well-dressed individual enters a shop, makes a purchase to the value of a dollar; finds, much to his vexation, that he has left his pocket-book in another coat pocket; and so says to the shopkeeper—

Again, this is quite a respectable situation. A well-dressed person walks into a shop, makes a purchase worth a dollar, and discovers, much to his annoyance, that he has left his wallet in a different coat pocket; so he says to the shopkeeper—

“My dear sir, never mind; just oblige me, will you, by sending the bundle home? But stay! I really believe that I have nothing less than a five dollar bill, even there. However, you can send four dollars in change with the bundle, you know.”

“My dear sir, don’t worry about it; could you please do me a favor and send the bundle home? But wait! I actually think I have at least a five dollar bill over there. Anyway, you can just send four dollars back with the bundle, okay?”

“Very good, sir,” replies the shop-keeper, who entertains, at once, a lofty opinion of the high-mindedness of his customer. “I know fellows,” he says to himself, “who would just have put the goods under their arm, and walked off with a promise to call and pay the dollar as they came by in the afternoon.”

“Sure thing, sir,” replies the shopkeeper, who immediately thinks highly of his customer's integrity. “I know guys,” he thinks to himself, “who would have just grabbed the goods and walked off with a promise to come back and pay the dollar later in the afternoon.”

A boy is sent with the parcel and change. On the route, quite accidentally, he is met by the purchaser, who exclaims:

A boy is sent with the package and the change. On his way, he unexpectedly runs into the buyer, who exclaims:

“Ah! This is my bundle, I see—I thought you had been home with it, long ago. Well, go on! My wife, Mrs. Trotter, will give you the five dollars—I left instructions with her to that effect. The change you might as well give to me—I shall want some silver for the Post Office. Very good! One, two, is this a good quarter?—three, four—quite right! Say to Mrs. Trotter that you met me, and be sure now and do not loiter on the way.”

“Ah! This is my package, I see—I thought you would have been back with it a while ago. Well, go ahead! My wife, Mrs. Trotter, will give you the five dollars—I told her to do that. You can just give me the change—I need some coins for the Post Office. Very good! One, two, is this a good quarter?—three, four—perfect! Tell Mrs. Trotter that you saw me, and make sure to hurry and not waste time on the way.”

The boy doesn’t loiter at all—but he is a very long time in getting back from his errand—for no lady of the precise name of Mrs. Trotter is to be discovered. He consoles himself, however, that he has not been such a fool as to leave the goods without the money, and re-entering his shop with a self-satisfied air, feels sensibly hurt and indignant when his master asks him what has become of the change.

The boy doesn't hang around at all, but he takes a really long time getting back from his errand—there's no lady named Mrs. Trotter to be found. He comforts himself with the thought that he wasn't foolish enough to leave the goods without the money, and as he re-enters his shop with a sense of pride, he feels genuinely hurt and angry when his boss asks him what happened to the change.

A very simple diddle, indeed, is this. The captain of a ship, which is about to sail, is presented by an official looking person with an unusually moderate bill of city charges. Glad to get off so easily, and confused by a hundred duties pressing upon him all at once, he discharges the claim forthwith. In about fifteen minutes, another and less reasonable bill is handed him by one who soon makes it evident that the first collector was a diddler, and the original collection a diddle.

This is a really straightforward trick. The captain of a ship, set to sail, is given a surprisingly low bill of city charges by an official-looking person. Happy to be getting off so easily and overwhelmed by a hundred responsibilities hitting him at once, he pays the bill immediately. Within about fifteen minutes, a different and more unreasonable bill is presented to him by someone who quickly reveals that the first collector was a con artist, and the initial payment was a scam.

And here, too, is a somewhat similar thing. A steamboat is casting loose from the wharf. A traveller, portmanteau in hand, is discovered running toward the wharf, at full speed. Suddenly, he makes a dead halt, stoops, and picks up something from the ground in a very agitated manner. It is a pocket-book, and—“Has any gentleman lost a pocketbook?” he cries. No one can say that he has exactly lost a pocket-book; but a great excitement ensues, when the treasure trove is found to be of value. The boat, however, must not be detained.

And here’s something similar. A steamboat is preparing to leave the dock. A traveler, suitcase in hand, is seen running toward the dock at full speed. Suddenly, he stops short, bends down, and picks something up from the ground in a frantic way. It’s a wallet, and he calls out, “Has anyone lost a wallet?” No one can say they’ve exactly lost a wallet, but a lot of excitement breaks out when it turns out the find is valuable. However, the boat cannot be delayed.

“Time and tide wait for no man,” says the captain.

“Time and tide wait for no one,” says the captain.

“For God’s sake, stay only a few minutes,” says the finder of the book—“the true claimant will presently appear.”

“Please, just stay a few minutes,” says the person who found the book. “The real owner will show up soon.”

“Can’t wait!” replies the man in authority; “cast off there, d’ye hear?”

"Can’t wait!" says the authority figure. "Cast off over there, you hear?"

“What am I to do?” asks the finder, in great tribulation. “I am about to leave the country for some years, and I cannot conscientiously retain this large amount in my possession. I beg your pardon, sir,” [here he addresses a gentleman on shore,] “but you have the air of an honest man. Will you confer upon me the favor of taking charge of this pocket-book—I know I can trust you—and of advertising it? The notes, you see, amount to a very considerable sum. The owner will, no doubt, insist upon rewarding you for your trouble—”

“What am I supposed to do?” asks the finder, in great distress. “I’m about to leave the country for several years, and I can’t in good conscience keep this large amount of money in my possession. I apologize, sir,” [here he addresses a gentleman on shore], “but you look like an honest man. Will you do me the favor of taking care of this wallet—I know I can trust you—and of putting out an advertisement? The cash, as you can see, adds up to quite a significant amount. The owner will surely want to reward you for your efforts—”

Me!—no, you!—it was you who found the book.”

Me!—no, you!—it was you who discovered the book.”

“Well, if you must have it so—I will take a small reward—just to satisfy your scruples. Let me see—why these notes are all hundreds—bless my soul! a hundred is too much to take—fifty would be quite enough, I am sure—”

“Well, if you have to do it this way—I will accept a small reward—just to ease your conscience. Let me see—why, these notes are all hundreds—goodness! a hundred is too much to take—fifty would definitely be enough, I’m sure—”

“Cast off there!” says the captain.

“Cast off there!” says the captain.

“But then I have no change for a hundred, and upon the whole, you had better—”

“But then I don’t have change for a hundred, and overall, you should—”

“Cast off there!” says the captain.

“Set sail from there!” says the captain.

“Never mind!” cries the gentleman on shore, who has been examining his own pocket-book for the last minute or so—“never mind! I can fix it—here is a fifty on the Bank of North America—throw the book.”

“Forget it!” shouts the man on the shore, who has been looking at his wallet for the last minute or so—“forget it! I can handle it—here’s a fifty from the Bank of North America—toss the book.”

And the over-conscientious finder takes the fifty with marked reluctance, and throws the gentleman the book, as desired, while the steamboat fumes and fizzes on her way. In about half an hour after her departure, the “large amount” is seen to be a “counterfeit presentment,” and the whole thing a capital diddle.

And the overly cautious finder takes the fifty with obvious hesitance, and tosses the book to the gentleman as requested, while the steamboat puffs and hisses along its route. About half an hour after it leaves, the "large amount" turns out to be a "fake," and the whole situation looks like a clever scam.

A bold diddle is this. A camp-meeting, or something similar, is to be held at a certain spot which is accessible only by means of a free bridge. A diddler stations himself upon this bridge, respectfully informs all passers by of the new county law, which establishes a toll of one cent for foot passengers, two for horses and donkeys, and so forth, and so forth. Some grumble but all submit, and the diddler goes home a wealthier man by some fifty or sixty dollars well earned. This taking a toll from a great crowd of people is an excessively troublesome thing.

This is quite a clever trick. A camp meeting, or something similar, is set to take place at a location that can only be reached via a free bridge. A scam artist positions himself on this bridge and politely informs everyone crossing about the new county law, which imposes a fee of one cent for pedestrians, two cents for horses and donkeys, and so on. Some people complain, but everyone pays up, and the scammer heads home with around fifty or sixty dollars, well earned. Charging a toll from a large crowd is quite a hassle.

A neat diddle is this. A friend holds one of the diddler’s promises to pay, filled up and signed in due form, upon the ordinary blanks printed in red ink. The diddler purchases one or two dozen of these blanks, and every day dips one of them in his soup, makes his dog jump for it, and finally gives it to him as a bonne bouche. The note arriving at maturity, the diddler, with the diddler’s dog, calls upon the friend, and the promise to pay is made the topic of discussion. The friend produces it from his escritoire, and is in the act of reaching it to the diddler, when up jumps the diddler’s dog and devours it forthwith. The diddler is not only surprised but vexed and incensed at the absurd behavior of his dog, and expresses his entire readiness to cancel the obligation at any moment when the evidence of the obligation shall be forthcoming.

This is quite a clever trick. A friend has one of the trickster’s promissory notes, filled out and signed properly, printed on the usual red ink forms. The trickster buys a dozen of these forms and every day dips one in his soup, makes his dog jump for it, and then gives it to the dog as a treat. When the note is due, the trickster, along with his dog, visits the friend, and they start talking about the promissory note. The friend takes it out from his desk and is about to hand it over to the trickster when suddenly the trickster’s dog jumps up and eats it right away. The trickster is not only shocked but also irritated and angry with his dog’s ridiculous behavior, and he makes it clear that he’s ready to cancel the debt at any time as long as the proof of the obligation is provided.

A very mean diddle is this. A lady is insulted in the street by a diddler’s accomplice. The diddler himself flies to her assistance, and, giving his friend a comfortable thrashing, insists upon attending the lady to her own door. He bows, with his hand upon his heart, and most respectfully bids her adieu. She entreats him, as her deliverer, to walk in and be introduced to her big brother and her papa. With a sigh, he declines to do so. “Is there no way, then, sir,” she murmurs, “in which I may be permitted to testify my gratitude?”

This is quite a ridiculous situation. A woman is insulted on the street by a guy working with a pervert. The pervert jumps in to help her and, after giving his friend a good beating, insists on walking her to her door. He bows with his hand on his heart and politely says goodbye. She asks him, as her savior, to come inside and meet her older brother and dad. With a sigh, he turns her down. “Is there no way, then, sir,” she whispers, “that I can show my gratitude?”

“Why, yes, madam, there is. Will you be kind enough to lend me a couple of shillings?”

“Sure, ma'am, there is. Would you be nice enough to lend me a couple of coins?”

In the first excitement of the moment the lady decides upon fainting outright. Upon second thought, however, she opens her purse-strings and delivers the specie. Now this, I say, is a diddle minute—for one entire moiety of the sum borrowed has to be paid to the gentleman who had the trouble of performing the insult, and who had then to stand still and be thrashed for performing it.

In the initial excitement of the moment, the lady decides to faint right there. However, after a second thought, she opens her purse and hands over the cash. Now, this is quite a tricky situation—half of the money borrowed has to be paid to the guy who caused the trouble by insulting her, and then he had to just stand there and take a beating for it.

Rather a small but still a scientific diddle is this. The diddler approaches the bar of a tavern, and demands a couple of twists of tobacco. These are handed to him, when, having slightly examined them, he says:

Rather a small but still a scientific trick is this. The trickster approaches the bar of a tavern and asks for a couple of twists of tobacco. These are handed to him, and after briefly examining them, he says:

“I don’t much like this tobacco. Here, take it back, and give me a glass of brandy and water in its place.” The brandy and water is furnished and imbibed, and the diddler makes his way to the door. But the voice of the tavern-keeper arrests him.

“I don’t really like this tobacco. Here, take it back, and give me a glass of brandy and water instead.” The brandy and water is served and drank, and the trickster heads for the door. But the tavern-keeper’s voice stops him.

“I believe, sir, you have forgotten to pay for your brandy and water.”

"I think, sir, you forgot to pay for your brandy and water."

“Pay for my brandy and water!—didn’t I give you the tobacco for the brandy and water? What more would you have?”

“Pay for my brandy and water! Didn’t I give you the tobacco for the brandy and water? What more do you want?”

“But, sir, if you please, I don’t remember that you paid me for the tobacco.”

“But, sir, if you don't mind, I don’t remember you paying me for the tobacco.”

“What do you mean by that, you scoundrel?—Didn’t I give you back your tobacco? Isn’t that your tobacco lying there? Do you expect me to pay for what I did not take?”

“What do you mean by that, you jerk?—Didn’t I give you back your tobacco? Isn’t that your tobacco sitting there? Do you expect me to pay for something I didn’t take?”

“But, sir,” says the publican, now rather at a loss what to say, “but sir—”

“But, sir,” says the bartender, now a bit unsure of what to say, “but sir—”

“But me no buts, sir,” interrupts the diddler, apparently in very high dudgeon, and slamming the door after him, as he makes his escape.—“But me no buts, sir, and none of your tricks upon travellers.”

“But no excuses for me, sir,” interrupts the scammer, clearly very upset, and slamming the door behind him as he makes his escape. —“But no excuses for me, sir, and none of your tricks on travelers.”

Here again is a very clever diddle, of which the simplicity is not its least recommendation. A purse, or pocket-book, being really lost, the loser inserts in one of the daily papers of a large city a fully descriptive advertisement.

Here is a really clever trick, and its simplicity is definitely one of its best features. When a purse or wallet is truly lost, the person who lost it places a detailed ad in one of the daily newspapers in a big city.

Whereupon our diddler copies the facts of this advertisement, with a change of heading, of general phraseology and address. The original, for instance, is long, and verbose, is headed “A Pocket-Book Lost!” and requires the treasure, when found, to be left at No. 1 Tom Street. The copy is brief, and being headed with “Lost” only, indicates No. 2 Dick, or No. 3 Harry Street, as the locality at which the owner may be seen. Moreover, it is inserted in at least five or six of the daily papers of the day, while in point of time, it makes its appearance only a few hours after the original. Should it be read by the loser of the purse, he would hardly suspect it to have any reference to his own misfortune. But, of course, the chances are five or six to one, that the finder will repair to the address given by the diddler, rather than to that pointed out by the rightful proprietor. The former pays the reward, pockets the treasure and decamps.

So, our con artist takes the details of this ad, changing just the heading, wording, and address. The original, for example, is long and wordy, titled “A Pocket-Book Lost!” and asks that the treasure, when found, be returned to No. 1 Tom Street. The copy is short, simply titled “Lost,” and points to No. 2 Dick or No. 3 Harry Street as the place where the owner can be reached. Plus, it’s published in at least five or six of the daily papers, and it shows up just a few hours after the original. If the person who lost the wallet sees it, they’d hardly think it referred to their own situation. But, of course, the odds are five or six to one that the finder will go to the address given by the con artist instead of the one provided by the rightful owner. The former collects the reward, takes the treasure, and disappears.

Quite an analogous diddle is this. A lady of ton has dropped, some where in the street, a diamond ring of very unusual value. For its recovery, she offers some forty or fifty dollars reward—giving, in her advertisement, a very minute description of the gem, and of its settings, and declaring that, on its restoration at No. so and so, in such and such Avenue, the reward would be paid instanter, without a single question being asked. During the lady’s absence from home, a day or two afterwards, a ring is heard at the door of No. so and so, in such and such Avenue; a servant appears; the lady of the house is asked for and is declared to be out, at which astounding information, the visitor expresses the most poignant regret. His business is of importance and concerns the lady herself. In fact, he had the good fortune to find her diamond ring. But perhaps it would be as well that he should call again. “By no means!” says the servant; and “By no means!” says the lady’s sister and the lady’s sister-in-law, who are summoned forthwith. The ring is clamorously identified, the reward is paid, and the finder nearly thrust out of doors. The lady returns and expresses some little dissatisfaction with her sister and sister-in-law, because they happen to have paid forty or fifty dollars for a fac-simile of her diamond ring—a fac-simile made out of real pinch-beck and unquestionable paste.

This is quite a similar situation. A well-off woman has lost a very valuable diamond ring somewhere on the street. To get it back, she offers a reward of around forty or fifty dollars—providing a detailed description of the stone and its setting in her ad, stating that the reward would be given immediately upon its return at a specific address, without asking any questions. A day or two later, while the woman is away, someone rings the doorbell at that address. A servant answers, and when asked for the lady, they say she's out, which causes the visitor to express deep regret. Their business is important and involves the lady directly, as they claim to have found her diamond ring. However, they suggest it might be better to come back later. “Absolutely not!” says the servant; and “Absolutely not!” say the lady's sister and sister-in-law, who are called outside instantly. The ring is loudly identified, the reward is handed over, and the finder is nearly pushed out the door. When the lady returns, she expresses some disappointment with her sister and sister-in-law for having paid forty or fifty dollars for a replica of her diamond ring—a replica made of cheap materials and fake stones.

But as there is really no end to diddling, so there would be none to this essay, were I even to hint at half the variations, or inflections, of which this science is susceptible. I must bring this paper, perforce, to a conclusion, and this I cannot do better than by a summary notice of a very decent, but rather elaborate diddle, of which our own city was made the theatre, not very long ago, and which was subsequently repeated with success, in other still more verdant localities of the Union. A middle-aged gentleman arrives in town from parts unknown. He is remarkably precise, cautious, staid, and deliberate in his demeanor. His dress is scrupulously neat, but plain, unostentatious. He wears a white cravat, an ample waistcoat, made with an eye to comfort alone; thick-soled cosy-looking shoes, and pantaloons without straps. He has the whole air, in fact, of your well-to-do, sober-sided, exact, and respectable “man of business,” par excellence—one of the stern and outwardly hard, internally soft, sort of people that we see in the crack high comedies—fellows whose words are so many bonds, and who are noted for giving away guineas, in charity, with the one hand, while, in the way of mere bargain, they exact the uttermost fraction of a farthing with the other.

But since there's really no end to messing around, there would be none to this essay either, even if I were to mention just half the variations or twists that this subject can take. I have to wrap this paper up, and I can't do it better than by briefly discussing a rather decent, but somewhat complex mishap that took place in our city not long ago, which was later repeated successfully in other even greener areas of the country. A middle-aged man shows up in town from who knows where. He is extremely precise, cautious, serious, and deliberate in his behavior. His clothing is impeccably neat but plain and unshowy. He wears a white cravat, a roomy waistcoat made for comfort; thick-soled, cozy-looking shoes, and trousers without straps. He genuinely embodies the well-off, serious, meticulous, and respectable “businessman,” par excellence—the kind of stern but soft-hearted people we see in classic comedies—guys whose words are as good as contracts, and who are known for giving away guineas in charity with one hand while squeezing every last fraction of a penny in business with the other.

He makes much ado before he can get suited with a boarding house. He dislikes children. He has been accustomed to quiet. His habits are methodical—and then he would prefer getting into a private and respectable small family, piously inclined. Terms, however, are no object—only he must insist upon settling his bill on the first of every month, (it is now the second) and begs his landlady, when he finally obtains one to his mind, not on any account to forget his instructions upon this point—but to send in a bill, and receipt, precisely at ten o’clock, on the first day of every month, and under no circumstances to put it off to the second.

He makes a big fuss before he can find a rooming house. He doesn't like kids. He's used to peace and quiet. His routines are structured—and he would prefer to move into a small, respectable family home that has a religious vibe. Money isn't a concern—he just insists on paying his rent on the first of every month (it’s now the second) and he asks his landlady, once he finally finds one that suits him, not to forget his request about this. He wants her to send the bill and receipt exactly at ten o’clock on the first day of every month, and under no circumstances to delay it to the second.

These arrangements made, our man of business rents an office in a reputable rather than a fashionable quarter of the town. There is nothing he more despises than pretense. “Where there is much show,” he says, “there is seldom any thing very solid behind”—an observation which so profoundly impresses his landlady’s fancy, that she makes a pencil memorandum of it forthwith, in her great family Bible, on the broad margin of the Proverbs of Solomon.

With these plans set, our businessman rents an office in a reliable rather than a trendy part of town. There’s nothing he despises more than pretense. “Where there’s a lot of show,” he says, “there’s usually not much substance behind it”—a comment that impresses his landlady so much that she quickly writes it down in her family Bible, on the wide margin of the Proverbs of Solomon.

The next step is to advertise, after some such fashion as this, in the principal business six-pennies of the city—the pennies are eschewed as not “respectable”—and as demanding payment for all advertisements in advance. Our man of business holds it as a point of his faith that work should never be paid for until done.

The next step is to advertise, in a way similar to this, in the main business six-pennies of the city—the pennies are avoided as not “respectable”—and requiring payment for all ads upfront. Our businessman believes strongly that work shouldn’t be paid for until it’s completed.

“WANTED.—The advertisers, being about to commence extensive business operations in this city, will require the services of three or four intelligent and competent clerks, to whom a liberal salary will be paid. The very best recommendations, not so much for capacity, as for integrity, will be expected. Indeed, as the duties to be performed involve high responsibilities, and large amounts of money must necessarily pass through the hands of those engaged, it is deemed advisable to demand a deposit of fifty dollars from each clerk employed. No person need apply, therefore, who is not prepared to leave this sum in the possession of the advertisers, and who cannot furnish the most satisfactory testimonials of morality. Young gentlemen piously inclined will be preferred. Application should be made between the hours of ten and eleven A. M., and four and five P. M., of Messrs.

“WANTED.—The advertisers are about to start extensive business operations in this city and need three or four smart and capable clerks. A good salary will be provided. The best references are expected, primarily for integrity rather than skill. Since the responsibilities involved are significant and large sums of money will pass through those employed, a deposit of fifty dollars will be required from each clerk. Therefore, no one should apply unless they're ready to leave this amount with the advertisers and can provide very satisfactory references regarding their character. Young men with strong moral values will be preferred. Applications should be made between the hours of ten and eleven A. M., and four and five P. M., of Messrs.

“Bogs, Hogs, Logs, Frogs & Co.,
“No. 110 Dog Street.”

“Bogs, Hogs, Logs, Frogs & Co.,
“No. 110 Dog Street.”

By the thirty-first day of the month, this advertisement has brought to the office of Messrs. Bogs, Hogs, Logs, Frogs, and Company, some fifteen or twenty young gentlemen piously inclined. But our man of business is in no hurry to conclude a contract with any—no man of business is ever precipitate—and it is not until the most rigid catechism in respect to the piety of each young gentleman’s inclination, that his services are engaged and his fifty dollars receipted for, just by way of proper precaution, on the part of the respectable firm of Bogs, Hogs, Logs, Frogs, and Company. On the morning of the first day of the next month, the landlady does not present her bill, according to promise—a piece of neglect for which the comfortable head of the house ending in ogs would no doubt have chided her severely, could he have been prevailed upon to remain in town a day or two for that purpose.

By the thirty-first day of the month, this ad brought about fifteen or twenty young men with a strong sense of faith to the office of Messrs. Bogs, Hogs, Logs, Frogs, and Company. But our business guy isn’t rushing to finalize a deal with any of them—no businessperson ever is—and it’s only after a thorough questioning regarding each young man’s faith that his services are secured and his fifty dollars recorded, as a precaution by the reputable firm of Bogs, Hogs, Logs, Frogs, and Company. On the morning of the first day of the following month, the landlady doesn’t present her bill as promised—a lapse that the comfortable head of the household, ending in ogs, would surely have scolded her for, had he been convinced to stay in town for a day or two to address it.

As it is, the constables have had a sad time of it, running hither and thither, and all they can do is to declare the man of business most emphatically, a “hen knee high”—by which some persons imagine them to imply that, in fact, he is n. e. i.—by which again the very classical phrase non est inventus, is supposed to be understood. In the meantime the young gentlemen, one and all, are somewhat less piously inclined than before, while the landlady purchases a shilling’s worth of the Indian rubber, and very carefully obliterates the pencil memorandum that some fool has made in her great family Bible, on the broad margin of the Proverbs of Solomon.

As it stands, the police have had a rough time, running around everywhere, and all they can do is insist that the businessman is definitely a “hen knee high”—which some people think means he is n. e. i.—and from that, the well-known phrase non est inventus is supposed to be understood. In the meantime, the young men are a bit less devout than before, while the landlady spends a shilling on some rubber and carefully erases a note that some idiot wrote in her large family Bible, on the wide margin of the Proverbs of Solomon.

THE ANGEL OF THE ODD

AN EXTRAVAGANZA.

It was a chilly November afternoon. I had just consummated an unusually hearty dinner, of which the dyspeptic truffe formed not the least important item, and was sitting alone in the dining-room, with my feet upon the fender, and at my elbow a small table which I had rolled up to the fire, and upon which were some apologies for dessert, with some miscellaneous bottles of wine, spirit and liqueur. In the morning I had been reading Glover’s “Leonidas,” Wilkie’s “Epigoniad,” Lamartine’s “Pilgrimage,” Barlow’s “Columbiad,” Tuckermann’s “Sicily,” and Griswold’s “Curiosities”; I am willing to confess, therefore, that I now felt a little stupid. I made effort to arouse myself by aid of frequent Lafitte, and, all failing, I betook myself to a stray newspaper in despair. Having carefully perused the column of “houses to let,” and the column of “dogs lost,” and then the two columns of “wives and apprentices runaway,” I attacked with great resolution the editorial matter, and, reading it from beginning to end without understanding a syllable, conceived the possibility of its being Chinese, and so re-read it from the end to the beginning, but with no more satisfactory result. I was about throwing away, in disgust,

It was a chilly November afternoon. I had just finished an unusually hearty dinner, which featured a significant dish of truffle, and was sitting alone in the dining room, with my feet on the fender, and next to me was a small table I had rolled up to the fire. On it were some disappointments for dessert, along with a few random bottles of wine, spirits, and liqueurs. That morning, I had been reading Glover’s “Leonidas,” Wilkie’s “Epigoniad,” Lamartine’s “Pilgrimage,” Barlow’s “Columbiad,” Tuckermann’s “Sicily,” and Griswold’s “Curiosities.” So, I confess I was feeling a bit dull. I tried to perk myself up with frequent sips of Lafitte, but when that didn't work, I reluctantly grabbed a random newspaper in despair. After carefully reading the section on “houses to let,” the column on “lost dogs,” and then the two sections on “wives and apprentices who ran away,” I tackled the editorial content with determination. I read it from start to finish without understanding a word, and I even thought it might be in Chinese, so I tried reading it backward, but that didn’t help either. I was about to throw it away in disgust,

“This folio of four pages, happy work
Which not even critics criticise,”

“This four-page booklet, a joyful creation
That even critics can’t criticize,”

when I felt my attention somewhat aroused by the paragraph which follows:

when I felt my interest piqued by the paragraph that follows:

“The avenues to death are numerous and strange. A London paper mentions the decease of a person from a singular cause. He was playing at ‘puff the dart,’ which is played with a long needle inserted in some worsted, and blown at a target through a tin tube. He placed the needle at the wrong end of the tube, and drawing his breath strongly to puff the dart forward with force, drew the needle into his throat. It entered the lungs, and in a few days killed him.”

"The ways to die are many and bizarre. A London newspaper reports the death of a person from an unusual cause. He was playing 'puff the dart,' a game that involves a long needle inserted into some yarn, which is then blown at a target through a tin tube. He mistakenly placed the needle at the wrong end of the tube, and when he took a deep breath to blow the dart forward with force, he accidentally drew the needle into his throat. It got into his lungs, and a few days later, it killed him."

Upon seeing this I fell into a great rage, without exactly knowing why. “This thing,” I exclaimed, “is a contemptible falsehood—a poor hoax—the lees of the invention of some pitiable penny-a-liner—of some wretched concoctor of accidents in Cocaigne. These fellows, knowing the extravagant gullibility of the age, set their wits to work in the imagination of improbable possibilities—-of odd accidents, as they term them; but to a reflecting intellect (like mine,” I added, in parenthesis, putting my forefinger unconsciously to the side of my nose,) “to a contemplative understanding such as I myself possess, it seems evident at once that the marvelous increase of late in these ‘odd accidents’ is by far the oddest accident of all. For my own part, I intend to believe nothing henceforward that has anything of the ‘singular’ about it.”

Seeing this made me really angry, though I wasn’t exactly sure why. “This thing,” I shouted, “is a pathetic lie—a cheap trick—the leftovers of some sad wannabe writer—some miserable fabricator of accidents in a fantasy world. These guys, aware of how gullible people are these days, use their creativity to dream up unlikely possibilities—what they call ‘odd accidents’; but to someone thoughtful (like me,” I added, casually resting my finger against my nose,) “to a reflective mind like mine, it’s clear right away that the recent surge in these ‘odd accidents’ is actually the strangest accident of all. For my part, I refuse to believe anything from now on that has any element of the ‘singular’ about it.”

“Mein Gott, den, vat a vool you bees for dat!” replied one of the most remarkable voices I ever heard. At first I took it for a rumbling in my ears—such as a man sometimes experiences when getting very drunk—but, upon second thought, I considered the sound as more nearly resembling that which proceeds from an empty barrel beaten with a big stick; and, in fact, this I should have concluded it to be, but for the articulation of the syllables and words. I am by no means naturally nervous, and the very few glasses of Lafitte which I had sipped served to embolden me no little, so that I felt nothing of trepidation, but merely uplifted my eyes with a leisurely movement, and looked carefully around the room for the intruder. I could not, however, perceive any one at all.

“Good God, what a lot of noise you’re making!” replied one of the most remarkable voices I’ve ever heard. At first, I thought it was just a rumble in my ears—like what a guy experiences when he gets really drunk—but then I realized it sounded more like an empty barrel being hit with a big stick; and honestly, that’s what I would have concluded it to be, if not for the clarity of the syllables and words. I’m not really a nervous person, and the few glasses of Lafitte I had sipped gave me quite a bit of courage, so I didn’t feel nervous at all. I just slowly raised my eyes and looked carefully around the room for the intruder. However, I couldn’t see anyone at all.

“Humph!” resumed the voice, as I continued my survey, “you mus pe so dronk as de pig, den, for not zee me as I zit here at your zide.”

“Humph!” the voice continued as I kept looking around, “you must be so drunk as a pig then, for not seeing me sitting here at your side.”

Hereupon I bethought me of looking immediately before my nose, and there, sure enough, confronting me at the table sat a personage nondescript, although not altogether indescribable. His body was a wine-pipe, or a rum-puncheon, or something of that character, and had a truly Falstaffian air. In its nether extremity were inserted two kegs, which seemed to answer all the purposes of legs. For arms there dangled from the upper portion of the carcass two tolerably long bottles, with the necks outward for hands. All the head that I saw the monster possessed of was one of those Hessian canteens which resemble a large snuff-box with a hole in the middle of the lid. This canteen (with a funnel on its top, like a cavalier cap slouched over the eyes) was set on edge upon the puncheon, with the hole toward myself; and through this hole, which seemed puckered up like the mouth of a very precise old maid, the creature was emitting certain rumbling and grumbling noises which he evidently intended for intelligible talk.

Then I thought about looking right in front of me, and there, sure enough, sitting at the table was a character who was hard to define, but not completely indescribable. His body was like a wine barrel or a rum cask, something along those lines, and he had a truly Falstaffian vibe. At the bottom, there were two kegs that acted as legs. For arms, two fairly long bottles hung from the upper part of his body, with the necks pointing out like hands. The only head I saw on this creature was one of those Hessian canteens that looks like a large snuff box with a hole in the middle of the lid. This canteen (with a funnel on top, resembling a slouched cavalier hat over his eyes) was tipped on the cask, with the hole facing me; through this hole, which looked puckered like the mouth of a very fussy old maid, the creature was making some rumbling and grumbling sounds that he clearly intended to be understandable speech.

“I zay,” said he, “you mos pe dronk as de pig, vor zit dare and not zee me zit ere; and I zay, doo, you mos pe pigger vool as de goose, vor to dispelief vat iz print in de print. ’Tiz de troof—dat it iz—eberry vord ob it.”

“I say,” he said, “you must be drunk as a pig for sitting there and not seeing me sitting here; and I say, too, you must be a bigger fool than a goose for doubting what is written in print. It’s the truth—that it is—every word of it.”

“Who are you, pray?” said I, with much dignity, although somewhat puzzled; “how did you get here? and what is it you are talking about?”

“Who are you, please?” I asked, with a lot of dignity, even though I was a bit confused; “how did you get here? And what are you talking about?”

“Az vor ow I com’d ere,” replied the figure, “dat iz none of your pizzness; and as vor vat I be talking apout, I be talk apout vat I tink proper; and as vor who I be, vy dat is de very ting I com’d here for to let you zee for yourzelf.”

“That's not your business,” replied the figure. “As for what I'm talking about, I’ll discuss what I think is appropriate; and as for who I am, well, that's exactly why I came here—to let you see for yourself.”

“You are a drunken vagabond,” said I, “and I shall ring the bell and order my footman to kick you into the street.”

“You're a drunken drifter,” I said, “and I'm going to ring the bell and tell my footman to throw you out into the street.”

“He! he! he!” said the fellow, “hu! hu! hu! dat you can’t do.”

“He! he! he!” said the guy, “hu! hu! hu! that you can’t do.”

“Can’t do!” said I, “what do you mean?—I can’t do what?”

“Can’t do!” I said, “what do you mean?—what can’t I do?”

“Ring de pell,” he replied, attempting a grin with his little villanous mouth.

“Ring the bell,” he replied, trying to smile with his small, villainous mouth.

Upon this I made an effort to get up, in order to put my threat into execution; but the ruffian just reached across the table very deliberately, and hitting me a tap on the forehead with the neck of one of the long bottles, knocked me back into the arm-chair from which I had half arisen. I was utterly astounded; and, for a moment, was quite at a loss what to do. In the meantime, he continued his talk.

Upon this, I tried to get up to follow through on my threat, but the thug casually reached across the table and gave me a light tap on the forehead with the neck of one of the long bottles, knocking me back into the armchair I had half risen from. I was completely stunned and for a moment, had no idea what to do. In the meantime, he kept talking.

“You zee,” said he, “it iz te bess vor zit still; and now you shall know who I pe. Look at me! zee! I am te Angel ov te Odd.”

"You see," he said, "it's best to sit still; and now you will know who I am. Look at me! See! I am the Angel of the Odd."

“And odd enough, too,” I ventured to reply; “but I was always under the impression that an angel had wings.”

“And it’s kind of strange, too,” I cautiously replied; “but I always thought angels had wings.”

“Te wing!” he cried, highly incensed, “vat I pe do mit te wing? Mein Gott! do you take me vor a shicken?”

“Tell me what to do with the wing!” he shouted, extremely angry. “My God! Do you think I’m a fool?”

“No—oh no!” I replied, much alarmed, “you are no chicken—certainly not.”

“No—oh no!” I replied, very alarmed, “you’re definitely not a coward—certainly not.”

“Well, den, zit still and pehabe yourself, or I’ll rap you again mid me vist. It iz te shicken ab te wing, und te owl ab te wing, und te imp ab te wing, und te head-teuffel ab te wing. Te angel ab not te wing, and I am te Angel ov te Odd.”

“Well then, sit still and behave yourself, or I’ll hit you again while I’m here. It’s the chicken on the wing, and the owl on the wing, and the imp on the wing, and the head devil on the wing. The angel does not have wings, and I am the Angel of the Odd.”

“And your business with me at present is—is—”

“And your business with me right now is—is—”

“My pizzness!” ejaculated the thing, “vy vat a low bred buppy you mos pe vor to ask a gentleman und an angel apout his pizziness!”

“My business!” the thing exclaimed, “why, what a low-bred puppy you must be to ask a gentleman and an angel about his business!”

This language was rather more than I could bear, even from an angel; so, plucking up courage, I seized a salt-cellar which lay within reach, and hurled it at the head of the intruder. Either he dodged, however, or my aim was inaccurate; for all I accomplished was the demolition of the crystal which protected the dial of the clock upon the mantel-piece. As for the Angel, he evinced his sense of my assault by giving me two or three hard consecutive raps upon the forehead as before. These reduced me at once to submission, and I am almost ashamed to confess that either through pain or vexation, there came a few tears into my eyes.

This was more than I could handle, even from an angel. So, gathering my courage, I grabbed a salt shaker that was within reach and threw it at the intruder's head. He either dodged or I missed, because all I managed to do was smash the glass protecting the clock on the mantel. As for the angel, he responded to my attack by giving me a couple of hard knocks on the forehead, just like before. This immediately made me submit, and I’m almost embarrassed to admit that, either from pain or frustration, a few tears came to my eyes.

“Mein Gott!” said the Angel of the Odd, apparently much softened at my distress; “mein Gott, te man is eder ferry dronk or ferry zorry. You mos not trink it so strong—you mos put te water in te wine. Here, trink dis, like a goot veller, und don’t gry now—don’t!”

“My God!” said the Angel of the Odd, seemingly much softened by my distress; “my God, that man is either very drunk or very sorry. You must not drink it so strong—you must put the water in the wine. Here, drink this, like a good fellow, and don’t cry now—don’t!”

Hereupon the Angel of the Odd replenished my goblet (which was about a third full of Port) with a colorless fluid that he poured from one of his hand bottles. I observed that these bottles had labels about their necks, and that these labels were inscribed “Kirschenwasser.”

Here, the Angel of the Odd filled my goblet (which was about a third full of Port) with a clear liquid that he poured from one of his bottles. I noticed that these bottles had labels around their necks, and that these labels said “Kirschenwasser.”

The considerate kindness of the Angel mollified me in no little measure; and, aided by the water with which he diluted my Port more than once, I at length regained sufficient temper to listen to his very extraordinary discourse. I cannot pretend to recount all that he told me, but I gleaned from what he said that he was the genius who presided over the contretemps of mankind, and whose business it was to bring about the odd accidents which are continually astonishing the skeptic. Once or twice, upon my venturing to express my total incredulity in respect to his pretensions, he grew very angry indeed, so that at length I considered it the wiser policy to say nothing at all, and let him have his own way. He talked on, therefore, at great length, while I merely leaned back in my chair with my eyes shut, and amused myself with munching raisins and filliping the stems about the room. But, by and by, the Angel suddenly construed this behavior of mine into contempt. He arose in a terrible passion, slouched his funnel down over his eyes, swore a vast oath, uttered a threat of some character which I did not precisely comprehend, and finally made me a low bow and departed, wishing me, in the language of the archbishop in Gil-Blas, “beaucoup de bonheur et un peu plus de bon sens.”

The kind nature of the Angel calmed me down quite a bit; and, helped along by the water he mixed into my Port more than once, I eventually regained enough composure to listen to his very unusual conversation. I can't pretend to remember everything he told me, but I gathered from our talk that he was the spirit in charge of the contretemps of humanity, whose role was to create the odd accidents that constantly surprise skeptics. A couple of times, when I dared to express my complete disbelief in his claims, he got really angry, so I figured it was smarter to say nothing and let him continue. He went on for quite a while while I just leaned back in my chair, eyes closed, snacking on raisins and flicking the stems around the room. Eventually, the Angel took my behavior as disrespect. He got up in a fit of rage, pulled his funnel down over his eyes, swore a huge oath, made some threat I didn't fully understand, and finally gave me a low bow and left, wishing me, in the words of the archbishop in Gil-Blas, “beaucoup de bonheur et un peu plus de bon sens.”

His departure afforded me relief. The very few glasses of Lafitte that I had sipped had the effect of rendering me drowsy, and I felt inclined to take a nap of some fifteen or twenty minutes, as is my custom after dinner. At six I had an appointment of consequence, which it was quite indispensable that I should keep. The policy of insurance for my dwelling house had expired the day before; and, some dispute having arisen, it was agreed that, at six, I should meet the board of directors of the company and settle the terms of a renewal. Glancing upward at the clock on the mantel-piece, (for I felt too drowsy to take out my watch), I had the pleasure to find that I had still twenty-five minutes to spare. It was half past five; I could easily walk to the insurance office in five minutes; and my usual siestas had never been known to exceed five and twenty. I felt sufficiently safe, therefore, and composed myself to my slumbers forthwith.

His departure gave me a sense of relief. The very few glasses of Lafitte I had sipped made me feel sleepy, and I was tempted to take a nap for about fifteen or twenty minutes, as I usually do after dinner. I had an important appointment at six that I definitely needed to keep. The insurance policy for my house had just expired the day before, and after some disagreement, it was decided that I would meet the company’s board of directors at six to sort out the renewal terms. Looking up at the clock on the mantelpiece (since I felt too drowsy to check my watch), I was pleased to see that I still had twenty-five minutes to spare. It was half past five; I could easily walk to the insurance office in five minutes, and my usual naps had never lasted longer than twenty-five. So, I felt safe enough and quickly settled down for a nap.

Having completed them to my satisfaction, I again looked toward the time-piece and was half inclined to believe in the possibility of odd accidents when I found that, instead of my ordinary fifteen or twenty minutes, I had been dozing only three; for it still wanted seven and twenty of the appointed hour. I betook myself again to my nap, and at length a second time awoke, when, to my utter amazement, it still wanted twenty-seven minutes of six. I jumped up to examine the clock, and found that it had ceased running. My watch informed me that it was half past seven; and, of course, having slept two hours, I was too late for my appointment. “It will make no difference,” I said: “I can call at the office in the morning and apologize; in the meantime what can be the matter with the clock?” Upon examining it I discovered that one of the raisin stems which I had been filliping about the room during the discourse of the Angel of the Odd, had flown through the fractured crystal, and lodging, singularly enough, in the key-hole, with an end projecting outward, had thus arrested the revolution of the minute hand.

Once I was satisfied with my work, I looked at the clock again and almost began to believe in weird accidents because I realized that instead of my usual fifteen or twenty minutes of dozing, I had only been asleep for three; it was still twenty-seven minutes until the appointed hour. I settled back down for another nap, and eventually woke up again, only to be utterly amazed that it was still twenty-seven minutes until six. I jumped up to check the clock and found that it had stopped running. My watch said it was half past seven; obviously, having slept for two hours, I was too late for my appointment. “It doesn’t matter,” I thought: “I can stop by the office in the morning to apologize; but what could be wrong with the clock?” Upon examining it, I found that one of the raisin stems I had been flicking around the room while talking about the Angel of the Odd had somehow shot through the broken glass and got stuck in the keyhole, with one end sticking out, which had stopped the minute hand from moving.

“Ah!” said I, “I see how it is. This thing speaks for itself. A natural accident, such as will happen now and then!”

“Ah!” I said, “I see how it is. This thing speaks for itself. A natural accident, like will happen now and then!”

I gave the matter no further consideration, and at my usual hour retired to bed. Here, having placed a candle upon a reading stand at the bed head, and having made an attempt to peruse some pages of the “Omnipresence of the Deity,” I unfortunately fell asleep in less than twenty seconds, leaving the light burning as it was.

I didn’t think about it anymore, and at my usual time, I went to bed. I set a candle on the reading stand by my bed and tried to read a few pages of “The Omnipresence of the Deity,” but unfortunately, I fell asleep in less than twenty seconds, leaving the light on as it was.

My dreams were terrifically disturbed by visions of the Angel of the Odd. Methought he stood at the foot of the couch, drew aside the curtains, and, in the hollow, detestable tones of a rum puncheon, menaced me with the bitterest vengeance for the contempt with which I had treated him. He concluded a long harangue by taking off his funnel-cap, inserting the tube into my gullet, and thus deluging me with an ocean of Kirschenwässer, which he poured, in a continuous flood, from one of the long necked bottles that stood him instead of an arm. My agony was at length insufferable, and I awoke just in time to perceive that a rat had ran off with the lighted candle from the stand, but not in season to prevent his making his escape with it through the hole. Very soon, a strong suffocating odor assailed my nostrils; the house, I clearly perceived, was on fire. In a few minutes the blaze broke forth with violence, and in an incredibly brief period the entire building was wrapped in flames. All egress from my chamber, except through a window, was cut off. The crowd, however, quickly procured and raised a long ladder. By means of this I was descending rapidly, and in apparent safety, when a huge hog, about whose rotund stomach, and indeed about whose whole air and physiognomy, there was something which reminded me of the Angel of the Odd,—when this hog, I say, which hitherto had been quietly slumbering in the mud, took it suddenly into his head that his left shoulder needed scratching, and could find no more convenient rubbing-post than that afforded by the foot of the ladder. In an instant I was precipitated and had the misfortune to fracture my arm.

My dreams were completely wrecked by visions of the Angel of the Odd. I thought he was standing at the foot of the couch, pulling aside the curtains, and in the hollow, dreadful tones of a rum barrel, threatening me with the most intense revenge for how I had treated him. He ended a long speech by taking off his funnel cap, putting the tube into my throat, and pouring an endless stream of Kirschenwässer down my gullet from one of the long-necked bottles that served as his arm. My pain became unbearable, and I woke up just in time to see a rat scurrying away with the lit candle from the stand, but not in time to stop it from escaping through the hole. Soon, a strong suffocating smell hit my nose; I realized the house was on fire. In just a few minutes, flames erupted violently, and the whole building was engulfed in fire in no time. The only way out of my room was through a window. However, the crowd quickly got a long ladder. I was sliding down it quickly and seemingly safe when a huge pig, whose round belly and overall look reminded me of the Angel of the Odd—this pig, which had been peacefully sleeping in the mud, suddenly decided that it needed to scratch its left shoulder and found the foot of the ladder to be the perfect spot. In an instant, I was knocked down and ended up breaking my arm.

This accident, with the loss of my insurance, and with the more serious loss of my hair, the whole of which had been singed off by the fire, predisposed me to serious impressions, so that, finally, I made up my mind to take a wife. There was a rich widow disconsolate for the loss of her seventh husband, and to her wounded spirit I offered the balm of my vows. She yielded a reluctant consent to my prayers. I knelt at her feet in gratitude and adoration. She blushed and bowed her luxuriant tresses into close contact with those supplied me, temporarily, by Grandjean. I know not how the entanglement took place, but so it was. I arose with a shining pate, wigless; she in disdain and wrath, half buried in alien hair. Thus ended my hopes of the widow by an accident which could not have been anticipated, to be sure, but which the natural sequence of events had brought about.

This accident, along with losing my insurance and the more serious loss of my hair, which had all been singed off in the fire, made me more serious about life. Eventually, I decided I wanted to get married. There was a wealthy widow who was heartbroken over the death of her seventh husband, and to her grieving spirit, I offered the comfort of my promises. She reluctantly agreed to my pleas. I knelt at her feet in gratitude and admiration. She blushed and let her beautiful hair fall close to the wig that I had, temporarily, from Grandjean. I’m not sure how it happened, but it did. I stood up bald and shiny, while she was in disdain and anger, half buried in my wig. Thus ended my hopes of marrying the widow because of an accident that couldn’t have been predicted, but which was a natural result of the circumstances.

Without despairing, however, I undertook the siege of a less implacable heart. The fates were again propitious for a brief period; but again a trivial incident interfered. Meeting my betrothed in an avenue thronged with the élite of the city, I was hastening to greet her with one of my best considered bows, when a small particle of some foreign matter, lodging in the corner of my eye, rendered me, for the moment, completely blind. Before I could recover my sight, the lady of my love had disappeared—irreparably affronted at what she chose to consider my premeditated rudeness in passing her by ungreeted. While I stood bewildered at the suddenness of this accident, (which might have happened, nevertheless, to any one under the sun), and while I still continued incapable of sight, I was accosted by the Angel of the Odd, who proffered me his aid with a civility which I had no reason to expect. He examined my disordered eye with much gentleness and skill, informed me that I had a drop in it, and (whatever a “drop” was) took it out, and afforded me relief.

Without losing hope, I set out to win over a less stubborn heart. Fate was favorable again for a short time; however, a small incident got in the way. While I was rushing to greet my fiancée in a busy street filled with the city's elite, a tiny piece of something got lodged in the corner of my eye, leaving me temporarily blind. Before I could regain my sight, the woman I loved had vanished, completely offended, thinking I had deliberately ignored her. As I stood there, confused by the suddenness of this mishap (which could have happened to anyone), I was approached by the Angel of the Odd. He offered me help with an unexpected kindness. He examined my irritated eye with great care and skill, told me I had something in it, and whatever that "something" was, he removed it and gave me relief.

I now considered it high time to die, (since fortune had so determined to persecute me,) and accordingly made my way to the nearest river. Here, divesting myself of my clothes, (for there is no reason why we cannot die as we were born), I threw myself headlong into the current; the sole witness of my fate being a solitary crow that had been seduced into the eating of brandy-saturated corn, and so had staggered away from his fellows. No sooner had I entered the water than this bird took it into its head to fly away with the most indispensable portion of my apparel. Postponing, therefore, for the present, my suicidal design, I just slipped my nether extremities into the sleeves of my coat, and betook myself to a pursuit of the felon with all the nimbleness which the case required and its circumstances would admit. But my evil destiny attended me still. As I ran at full speed, with my nose up in the atmosphere, and intent only upon the purloiner of my property, I suddenly perceived that my feet rested no longer upon terra-firma; the fact is, I had thrown myself over a precipice, and should inevitably have been dashed to pieces but for my good fortune in grasping the end of a long guide-rope, which depended from a passing balloon.

I thought it was finally time to end my life, since fate had decided to torment me, so I made my way to the nearest river. After taking off my clothes (because there’s no reason we can’t die as we were born), I jumped headfirst into the water. The only witness to my fate was a lone crow that had been tricked into eating corn soaked in brandy and had wandered away from its group. As soon as I hit the water, the bird decided to fly off with a crucial piece of my clothing. So, putting my suicide on hold, I quickly slipped my legs into the sleeves of my coat and chased after the thief as fast as I could, given the situation. But my bad luck followed me still. As I ran at full speed, my head held high and focused only on the thief of my belongings, I suddenly realized I wasn’t standing on solid ground anymore; in fact, I had tumbled over a cliff and would have certainly fallen to my doom if I hadn't been fortunate enough to grab onto a long guide-rope hanging from a passing balloon.

As soon as I sufficiently recovered my senses to comprehend the terrific predicament in which I stood or rather hung, I exerted all the power of my lungs to make that predicament known to the æronaut overhead. But for a long time I exerted myself in vain. Either the fool could not, or the villain would not perceive me. Meantime the machine rapidly soared, while my strength even more rapidly failed. I was soon upon the point of resigning myself to my fate, and dropping quietly into the sea, when my spirits were suddenly revived by hearing a hollow voice from above, which seemed to be lazily humming an opera air. Looking up, I perceived the Angel of the Odd. He was leaning with his arms folded, over the rim of the car; and with a pipe in his mouth, at which he puffed leisurely, seemed to be upon excellent terms with himself and the universe. I was too much exhausted to speak, so I merely regarded him with an imploring air.

As soon as I regained my senses enough to understand the awful situation I was in—or rather hanging in—I put all my effort into shouting to the guy above me. But for a long time, I was shouting in vain. Either the idiot couldn’t hear me, or the jerk just wouldn’t. Meanwhile, the machine was climbing fast, while my strength was fading even faster. I was about to give up and let myself fall into the sea when I suddenly perked up at the sound of a hollow voice from above, lazily humming an opera tune. Looking up, I saw the Angel of the Odd. He was leaning with his arms crossed over the edge of the car, puffing leisurely on a pipe, looking quite pleased with himself and everything around him. I was too worn out to say anything, so I just looked at him with a pleading expression.

For several minutes, although he looked me full in the face, he said nothing. At length removing carefully his meerschaum from the right to the left corner of his mouth, he condescended to speak.

For several minutes, even though he looked me right in the face, he didn’t say anything. Finally, after carefully moving his meerschaum from the right corner of his mouth to the left, he decided to speak.

“Who pe you,” he asked, “und what der teuffel you pe do dare?”

“Who are you?” he asked, “and what the hell are you doing here?”

To this piece of impudence, cruelty and affectation, I could reply only by ejaculating the monosyllable “Help!”

To this act of rudeness, cruelty, and pretentiousness, I could only respond by shouting out the word “Help!”

“Elp!” echoed the ruffian—“not I. Dare iz te pottle—elp yourself, und pe tam’d!”

“Elp!” shouted the thug—“not me. You can handle it—help yourself, and be damned!”

With these words he let fall a heavy bottle of Kirschenwasser which, dropping precisely upon the crown of my head, caused me to imagine that my brains were entirely knocked out. Impressed with this idea, I was about to relinquish my hold and give up the ghost with a good grace, when I was arrested by the cry of the Angel, who bade me hold on.

With these words, he dropped a heavy bottle of cherry brandy, which hit the top of my head and made me feel like my brains had completely been knocked out. Convinced of this, I was about to let go and gracefully accept my fate when I was stopped by the Angel's shout, telling me to hang on.

“Old on!” he said; “don’t pe in te urry—don’t. Will you pe take de odder pottle, or ave you pe got zober yet and come to your zenzes?”

“Hold on!” he said; “don’t be in such a hurry—don’t. Will you take the other bottle, or have you gotten sober yet and come to your senses?”

I made haste, hereupon, to nod my head twice—once in the negative, meaning thereby that I would prefer not taking the other bottle at present—and once in the affirmative, intending thus to imply that I was sober and had positively come to my senses. By these means I somewhat softened the Angel.

I quickly nodded my head twice—once to say I’d rather not take the other bottle right now—and once to indicate that I was sober and had definitely come to my senses. This way, I managed to ease the Angel’s perspective a bit.

“Und you pelief, ten,” he inquired, “at te last? You pelief, ten, in te possibilty of te odd?”

"Do you believe then," he asked, "that in the end? You believe then, in the possibility of the odd?"

I again nodded my head in assent.

I nodded my head again in agreement.

“Und you ave pelief in me, te Angel of te Odd?”

“Do you have faith in me, the Angel of the Odd?”

I nodded again.

I nodded again.

“Und you acknowledge tat you pe te blind dronk and te vool?”

“Do you admit that you were really drunk and the fool?”

I nodded once more.

I nodded again.

“Put your right hand into your left hand preeches pocket, ten, in token ov your vull zubmizzion unto te Angel ov te Odd.”

“Put your right hand into your left hand's pocket, then, as a sign of your full submission to the Angel of the Odd.”

This thing, for very obvious reasons, I found it quite impossible to do. In the first place, my left arm had been broken in my fall from the ladder, and, therefore, had I let go my hold with the right hand, I must have let go altogether. In the second place, I could have no breeches until I came across the crow. I was therefore obliged, much to my regret, to shake my head in the negative—intending thus to give the Angel to understand that I found it inconvenient, just at that moment, to comply with his very reasonable demand! No sooner, however, had I ceased shaking my head than—

This thing, for very obvious reasons, I found it completely impossible to do. In the first place, my left arm had been broken in my fall from the ladder, and so, if I let go with my right hand, I would have lost my grip entirely. In the second place, I couldn't have any pants until I found the crow. I was, therefore, forced, much to my regret, to shake my head to indicate that I found it inconvenient, at that moment, to comply with his very reasonable request! No sooner had I stopped shaking my head than—

“Go to der teuffel, ten!” roared the Angel of the Odd.

“Go to hell, then!” roared the Angel of the Odd.

In pronouncing these words, he drew a sharp knife across the guide-rope by which I was suspended, and as we then happened to be precisely over my own house, (which, during my peregrinations, had been handsomely rebuilt,) it so occurred that I tumbled headlong down the ample chimney and alit upon the dining-room hearth.

As he said these words, he sliced through the rope I was hanging from with a sharp knife, and since we happened to be directly over my house— which had been nicely rebuilt while I was away— I fell straight down the wide chimney and landed on the dining room floor.

Upon coming to my senses, (for the fall had very thoroughly stunned me,) I found it about four o’clock in the morning. I lay outstretched where I had fallen from the balloon. My head grovelled in the ashes of an extinguished fire, while my feet reposed upon the wreck of a small table, overthrown, and amid the fragments of a miscellaneous dessert, intermingled with a newspaper, some broken glass and shattered bottles, and an empty jug of the Schiedam Kirschenwasser. Thus revenged himself the Angel of the Odd.

When I finally came to, having been completely stunned by the fall, I realized it was around four o’clock in the morning. I was lying flat where I had landed from the balloon. My head was buried in the ashes of a spent fire, while my feet rested on the wreckage of a small table that had been knocked over, surrounded by bits of a random dessert mixed with a newspaper, some broken glass, shattered bottles, and an empty jug of Schiedam Kirschenwasser. This was the Angel of the Odd's way of getting revenge.

[Mabbott states that Griswold “obviously had a revised form” for use in the 1856 volume of Poe’s works. Mabbott does not substantiate this claim, but it is surely not unreasonable. An editor, and even typographical errors, may have produced nearly all of the very minor changes made in this version. (Indeed, two very necessary words were clearly dropped by accident.) An editor might have corrected “Wickliffe’s ‘Epigoniad’” to “Wilkie’s ‘Epigoniad’,” but is unlikely to have added “Tuckerman’s ‘Sicily’” to the list of books read by the narrator. Griswold was not above forgery (in Poe’s letters) when it suited his purpose, but would have too little to gain by such an effort in this instance.]

[Mabbott states that Griswold “clearly had a revised version” for use in the 1856 collection of Poe’s works. Mabbott does not back up this claim, but it's not unreasonable. An editor, along with some typographical mistakes, may have caused almost all of the very minor changes in this edition. (In fact, two essential words were clearly omitted by mistake.) An editor might have changed “Wickliffe’s ‘Epigoniad’” to “Wilkie’s ‘Epigoniad’,” but it’s unlikely they would have added “Tuckerman’s ‘Sicily’” to the list of books the narrator read. Griswold was known to forge letters from Poe when it served his interest, but he would have too little to gain by doing such a thing in this case.]

MELLONTA TAUTA

TO THE EDITORS OF THE LADY’S BOOK:

I have the honor of sending you, for your magazine, an article which I hope you will be able to comprehend rather more distinctly than I do myself. It is a translation, by my friend, Martin Van Buren Mavis, (sometimes called the “Poughkeepsie Seer”) of an odd-looking MS. which I found, about a year ago, tightly corked up in a jug floating in the Mare Tenebrarum—a sea well described by the Nubian geographer, but seldom visited now-a-days, except for the transcendentalists and divers for crotchets.

I’m excited to send you an article for your magazine that I hope you'll understand better than I do. It’s a translation by my friend, Martin Van Buren Mavis, (sometimes known as the "Poughkeepsie Seer") of a strange-looking manuscript I discovered about a year ago, tightly sealed in a jug floating in the Mare Tenebrarum—a sea well documented by the Nubian geographer, but rarely visited these days, except by transcendentalists and people searching for quirky ideas.

Truly yours,

Sincerely,

EDGAR A. POE

EDGAR ALLAN POE

{this paragraph not in the volume—ED}

{this paragraph not in the volume—ED}

ON BOARD BALLOON “SKYLARK”

April, 1, 2848

April 1, 2848

Now, my dear friend—now, for your sins, you are to suffer the infliction of a long gossiping letter. I tell you distinctly that I am going to punish you for all your impertinences by being as tedious, as discursive, as incoherent and as unsatisfactory as possible. Besides, here I am, cooped up in a dirty balloon, with some one or two hundred of the canaille, all bound on a pleasure excursion, (what a funny idea some people have of pleasure!) and I have no prospect of touching terra firma for a month at least. Nobody to talk to. Nothing to do. When one has nothing to do, then is the time to correspond with ones friends. You perceive, then, why it is that I write you this letter—it is on account of my ennui and your sins.

Now, my dear friend—now, for your sins, you’re going to endure a long, gossip-filled letter. I’m telling you clearly that I’m going to punish you for all your annoyances by being as boring, rambling, confusing, and unsatisfactory as possible. Besides, here I am, stuck in a filthy balloon, with a couple hundred of the masses, all heading out on a pleasure trip (what a strange idea some people have of pleasure!), and I have no chance of touching solid ground for at least a month. No one to talk to. Nothing to do. When you have nothing going on, that’s when it’s time to write to your friends. So, you see why I’m sending you this letter—it’s because of my boredom and your misdeeds.

Get ready your spectacles and make up your mind to be annoyed. I mean to write at you every day during this odious voyage.

Get your glasses ready and prepare to be annoyed. I plan to write to you every day during this terrible journey.

Heigho! when will any Invention visit the human pericranium? Are we forever to be doomed to the thousand inconveniences of the balloon? Will nobody contrive a more expeditious mode of progress? The jog-trot movement, to my thinking, is little less than positive torture. Upon my word we have not made more than a hundred miles the hour since leaving home! The very birds beat us—at least some of them. I assure you that I do not exaggerate at all. Our motion, no doubt, seems slower than it actually is—this on account of our having no objects about us by which to estimate our velocity, and on account of our going with the wind. To be sure, whenever we meet a balloon we have a chance of perceiving our rate, and then, I admit, things do not appear so very bad. Accustomed as I am to this mode of travelling, I cannot get over a kind of giddiness whenever a balloon passes us in a current directly overhead. It always seems to me like an immense bird of prey about to pounce upon us and carry us off in its claws. One went over us this morning about sunrise, and so nearly overhead that its drag-rope actually brushed the network suspending our car, and caused us very serious apprehension. Our captain said that if the material of the bag had been the trumpery varnished “silk” of five hundred or a thousand years ago, we should inevitably have been damaged. This silk, as he explained it to me, was a fabric composed of the entrails of a species of earth-worm. The worm was carefully fed on mulberries—a kind of fruit resembling a water-melon—and, when sufficiently fat, was crushed in a mill. The paste thus arising was called papyrus in its primary state, and went through a variety of processes until it finally became “silk.” Singular to relate, it was once much admired as an article of female dress! Balloons were also very generally constructed from it. A better kind of material, it appears, was subsequently found in the down surrounding the seed-vessels of a plant vulgarly called euphorbium, and at that time botanically termed milk-weed. This latter kind of silk was designated as silk-buckingham, on account of its superior durability, and was usually prepared for use by being varnished with a solution of gum caoutchouc—a substance which in some respects must have resembled the gutta percha now in common use. This caoutchouc was occasionally called Indian rubber or rubber of twist, and was no doubt one of the numerous fungi. Never tell me again that I am not at heart an antiquarian.

Ugh! When will some invention make traveling easier? Are we really stuck dealing with all the thousand inconveniences of balloons forever? Is there no one who can figure out a faster way to get around? The bumpy ride, in my opinion, is practically torture. Honestly, we haven’t even been moving a hundred miles an hour since we left home! The birds are beating us—at least some of them. I’m not exaggerating. Our movement definitely seems slower than it actually is, probably because we have no landmarks to measure our speed against and we’re being carried with the wind. Of course, whenever we pass another balloon, we can see how fast we’re actually going, and then I admit things don’t seem so bad. Even though I’m used to this way of traveling, I still get a bit dizzy whenever a balloon flies overhead. It always feels like a giant bird of prey is about to swoop down and carry us away. One flew over us this morning at sunrise, so close that its drag-rope actually brushed against the net holding our car, which made us quite nervous. Our captain said that if the material of that balloon had been the cheap, shiny “silk” from five hundred or a thousand years ago, we would’ve been in trouble. This silk, as he explained, was made from the guts of a type of earthworm. The worm was fed mulberries—a fruit that looks a lot like a watermelon—and when it got fat enough, it was crushed in a mill. The resulting paste was called papyrus in its raw state and went through several processes until it finally became “silk.” Interestingly, it was once highly valued as a clothing material for women! Balloons were also often made from it. A better material was eventually found in the fluff surrounding the seed pods of a plant commonly known as euphorbium, and scientifically called milkweed. This type of silk was named silk-buckingham for its greater durability and was usually treated with a varnish made from a gum called caoutchouc—a substance similar to the gutta percha we use today. This caoutchouc was sometimes referred to as Indian rubber or twist rubber, and was probably one of many fungi. Don’t ever tell me again that I’m not a bit of an antiquarian at heart.

Talking of drag-ropes—our own, it seems, has this moment knocked a man overboard from one of the small magnetic propellers that swarm in ocean below us—a boat of about six thousand tons, and, from all accounts, shamefully crowded. These diminutive barques should be prohibited from carrying more than a definite number of passengers. The man, of course, was not permitted to get on board again, and was soon out of sight, he and his life-preserver. I rejoice, my dear friend, that we live in an age so enlightened that no such a thing as an individual is supposed to exist. It is the mass for which the true Humanity cares. By-the-by, talking of Humanity, do you know that our immortal Wiggins is not so original in his views of the Social Condition and so forth, as his contemporaries are inclined to suppose? Pundit assures me that the same ideas were put nearly in the same way, about a thousand years ago, by an Irish philosopher called Furrier, on account of his keeping a retail shop for cat peltries and other furs. Pundit knows, you know; there can be no mistake about it. How very wonderfully do we see verified every day, the profound observation of the Hindoo Aries Tottle (as quoted by Pundit)—“Thus must we say that, not once or twice, or a few times, but with almost infinite repetitions, the same opinions come round in a circle among men.”

Talking about drag ropes—apparently, ours has just knocked a guy overboard from one of the small propeller boats swarming in the ocean below us—a vessel weighing around six thousand tons, and by all accounts, ridiculously overcrowded. These little boats should be banned from carrying more than a specific number of passengers. Naturally, the guy wasn’t allowed back on board and soon disappeared, along with his life jacket. I’m glad, my dear friend, that we live in such enlightened times where no one believes in the idea of the individual anymore. It's all about the masses, that’s what true Humanity cares about. By the way, speaking of Humanity, did you know our esteemed Wiggins isn't as original in his views on Social Conditions and such as his contemporaries like to believe? Pundit tells me that nearly the same ideas were expressed, almost word for word, about a thousand years ago by an Irish philosopher named Furrier, who got his name because he ran a shop selling cat furs and other pelts. Pundit knows, you can’t go wrong there. It’s amazing how the profound observation of the Hindu Aries Tottle (as quoted by Pundit) is proven true every day—“Thus must we say that, not once or twice, or a few times, but with almost infinite repetitions, the same opinions come round in a circle among men.”

April 2.—Spoke to-day the magnetic cutter in charge of the middle section of floating telegraph wires. I learn that when this species of telegraph was first put into operation by Horse, it was considered quite impossible to convey the wires over sea, but now we are at a loss to comprehend where the difficulty lay! So wags the world. Tempora mutantur—excuse me for quoting the Etruscan. What would we do without the Atalantic telegraph? (Pundit says Atlantic was the ancient adjective.) We lay to a few minutes to ask the cutter some questions, and learned, among other glorious news, that civil war is raging in Africa, while the plague is doing its good work beautifully both in Yurope and Ayesher. Is it not truly remarkable that, before the magnificent light shed upon philosophy by Humanity, the world was accustomed to regard War and Pestilence as calamities? Do you know that prayers were actually offered up in the ancient temples to the end that these evils (!) might not be visited upon mankind? Is it not really difficult to comprehend upon what principle of interest our forefathers acted? Were they so blind as not to perceive that the destruction of a myriad of individuals is only so much positive advantage to the mass!

April 2.—Today, I spoke to the magnetic cutter responsible for the middle section of floating telegraph wires. I learned that when Horse first launched this type of telegraph, it was thought to be impossible to run the wires over the sea, but now we can’t even imagine what the problem was! That's just how things go. Times change—sorry for quoting the ancient saying. What would we do without the Atlantic telegraph? (A scholar says "Atlantic" was the ancient term.) We paused for a few minutes to ask the cutter some questions and discovered, among other exciting news, that a civil war is raging in Africa, while the plague is doing its work beautifully in Europe and Asia. Isn’t it fascinating that, before the amazing insights brought by Humanity, people used to see War and Pestilence as disasters? Did you know that prayers were actually offered in ancient temples so that these evils wouldn’t befall mankind? Isn’t it really hard to understand what motivated our ancestors? Were they so blind that they didn’t see that the death of countless individuals is actually a gain for the overall population?

April 3.—It is really a very fine amusement to ascend the rope-ladder leading to the summit of the balloon-bag, and thence survey the surrounding world. From the car below you know the prospect is not so comprehensive—you can see little vertically. But seated here (where I write this) in the luxuriously-cushioned open piazza of the summit, one can see everything that is going on in all directions. Just now there is quite a crowd of balloons in sight, and they present a very animated appearance, while the air is resonant with the hum of so many millions of human voices. I have heard it asserted that when Yellow or (Pundit will have it) Violet, who is supposed to have been the first aeronaut, maintained the practicability of traversing the atmosphere in all directions, by merely ascending or descending until a favorable current was attained, he was scarcely hearkened to at all by his contemporaries, who looked upon him as merely an ingenious sort of madman, because the philosophers (?) of the day declared the thing impossible. Really now it does seem to me quite unaccountable how any thing so obviously feasible could have escaped the sagacity of the ancient savans. But in all ages the great obstacles to advancement in Art have been opposed by the so-called men of science. To be sure, our men of science are not quite so bigoted as those of old:—oh, I have something so queer to tell you on this topic. Do you know that it is not more than a thousand years ago since the metaphysicians consented to relieve the people of the singular fancy that there existed but two possible roads for the attainment of Truth! Believe it if you can! It appears that long, long ago, in the night of Time, there lived a Turkish philosopher (or Hindoo possibly) called Aries Tottle. This person introduced, or at all events propagated what was termed the deductive or a priori mode of investigation. He started with what he maintained to be axioms or “self-evident truths,” and thence proceeded “logically” to results. His greatest disciples were one Neuclid, and one Cant. Well, Aries Tottle flourished supreme until advent of one Hog, surnamed the “Ettrick Shepherd,” who preached an entirely different system, which he called the a posteriori or inductive. His plan referred altogether to Sensation. He proceeded by observing, analyzing, and classifying facts-instantiae naturae, as they were affectedly called—into general laws. Aries Tottle’s mode, in a word, was based on noumena; Hog’s on phenomena. Well, so great was the admiration excited by this latter system that, at its first introduction, Aries Tottle fell into disrepute; but finally he recovered ground and was permitted to divide the realm of Truth with his more modern rival. The savans now maintained the Aristotelian and Baconian roads were the sole possible avenues to knowledge. “Baconian,” you must know, was an adjective invented as equivalent to Hog-ian and more euphonious and dignified.

April 3.—Climbing the rope ladder to the top of the balloon bag is such a great way to pass the time, and from here you can take in the whole world around you. From the car below, the view is limited—you can’t see much vertically. But sitting here (where I’m writing this) in the plush, open area at the top, you can see everything happening in every direction. Right now, there’s quite a crowd of balloons in sight, and they look really lively, while the air is filled with the buzz of millions of voices. I’ve heard it said that when Yellow, or Violet as the Pundit would have it, claimed that it was possible to travel through the atmosphere in any direction by simply going up or down until you found a good current, he was hardly listened to by his contemporaries, who thought he was just a clever sort of madman, since the philosophers of the time declared it impossible. Honestly, it seems incredible that something so obviously doable could have been overlooked by the wise thinkers of ancient times. But throughout history, the major obstacles to progress in art have often been put up by the so-called men of science. Of course, our scientists aren’t quite as narrow-minded as those in the past:—oh, I have something really strange to share with you on this topic. Can you believe it wasn’t more than a thousand years ago that metaphysicians agreed to free people from the odd belief that there were only two ways to find Truth? It’s hard to fathom! It turns out that long ago, in the depths of Time, there lived a Turkish philosopher (or maybe he was Hindu) named Aries Tottle. This guy introduced, or at least spread, what was known as the deductive or a priori method of investigation. He started with what he claimed were axioms or “self-evident truths,” and then logically moved to conclusions. His top followers were a guy named Neuclid and another named Cant. Well, Aries Tottle was highly regarded until the arrival of one Hog, called the “Ettrick Shepherd,” who promoted a totally different system that he called the a posteriori or inductive method. His approach was all about Sensation. He worked by observing, analyzing, and classifying facts—in short, the instances of nature, as they were pretentiously called—into general laws. Aries Tottle’s method was based on noumena; Hog’s was based on phenomena. So great was the admiration for this new system that, when it first came out, Aries Tottle fell out of favor; but eventually he regained some respect and was allowed to share the realm of Truth with his more modern counterpart. The scholars now maintained that the Aristotelian and Baconian methods were the only valid paths to knowledge. “Baconian,” mind you, was a term created to mean Hog-ian in a way that sounded more sophisticated and dignified.

Now, my dear friend, I do assure you, most positively, that I represent this matter fairly, on the soundest authority; and you can easily understand how a notion so absurd on its very face must have operated to retard the progress of all true knowledge—which makes its advances almost invariably by intuitive bounds. The ancient idea confined investigations to crawling; and for hundreds of years so great was the infatuation about Hog especially, that a virtual end was put to all thinking, properly so called. No man dared utter a truth to which he felt himself indebted to his Soul alone. It mattered not whether the truth was even demonstrably a truth, for the bullet-headed savans of the time regarded only the road by which he had attained it. They would not even look at the end. “Let us see the means,” they cried, “the means!” If, upon investigation of the means, it was found to come under neither the category Aries (that is to say Ram) nor under the category Hog, why then the savans went no farther, but pronounced the “theorist” a fool, and would have nothing to do with him or his truth.

Now, my dear friend, I assure you, without a doubt, that I represent this matter fairly, based on solid authority; and you can easily see how an idea so ridiculous on its face must have slowed down the progress of all true knowledge—which usually advances through intuitive leaps. The old belief held investigations back; and for hundreds of years, there was such a fixation on the Hog in particular that it nearly put an end to all genuine thinking. No one dared to speak a truth that they believed came solely from their own soul. It didn’t matter if the truth could even be proven; the rigid scholars of the time only cared about the method someone used to arrive at it. They wouldn’t even consider the conclusion. “Show us the means,” they shouted, “the means!” If, upon examining the means, it didn’t fit into the categories of Aries (meaning Ram) or Hog, then the scholars wouldn’t go any further and labeled the “theorist” a fool, refusing to engage with him or his truth.

Now, it cannot be maintained, even, that by the crawling system the greatest amount of truth would be attained in any long series of ages, for the repression of imagination was an evil not to be compensated for by any superior certainty in the ancient modes of investigation. The error of these Jurmains, these Vrinch, these Inglitch, and these Amriccans (the latter, by the way, were our own immediate progenitors), was an error quite analogous with that of the wiseacre who fancies that he must necessarily see an object the better the more closely he holds it to his eyes. These people blinded themselves by details. When they proceeded Hoggishly, their “facts” were by no means always facts—a matter of little consequence had it not been for assuming that they were facts and must be facts because they appeared to be such. When they proceeded on the path of the Ram, their course was scarcely as straight as a ram’s horn, for they never had an axiom which was an axiom at all. They must have been very blind not to see this, even in their own day; for even in their own day many of the long “established” axioms had been rejected. For example—“Ex nihilo nihil fit”; “a body cannot act where it is not”; “there cannot exist antipodes”; “darkness cannot come out of light”—all these, and a dozen other similar propositions, formerly admitted without hesitation as axioms, were, even at the period of which I speak, seen to be untenable. How absurd in these people, then, to persist in putting faith in “axioms” as immutable bases of Truth! But even out of the mouths of their soundest reasoners it is easy to demonstrate the futility, the impalpability of their axioms in general. Who was the soundest of their logicians? Let me see! I will go and ask Pundit and be back in a minute.... Ah, here we have it! Here is a book written nearly a thousand years ago and lately translated from the Inglitch—which, by the way, appears to have been the rudiment of the Amriccan. Pundit says it is decidedly the cleverest ancient work on its topic, Logic. The author (who was much thought of in his day) was one Miller, or Mill; and we find it recorded of him, as a point of some importance, that he had a mill-horse called Bentham. But let us glance at the treatise!

Now, it can't be argued that the crawling system would achieve the greatest amount of truth over a long period, because stifling imagination was a problem that couldn't be offset by any greater certainty in the old ways of investigation. The mistake of these Jurmains, these Vrinch, these Inglitch, and these Amriccans (the latter being our direct ancestors, by the way) was similar to that of the know-it-all who thinks he must see an object better the closer he holds it to his eyes. These people blinded themselves with details. When they approached things carelessly, their “facts” weren't always facts—a minor issue, perhaps, had they not assumed these were facts and must be facts just because they seemed that way. When they followed the path of the Ram, their direction was hardly as straight as a ram's horn, because they never had any true axioms at all. They must have been really short-sighted not to recognize this, even in their own time; for even then, many long “established” axioms had been rejected. For example—“Ex nihilo nihil fit”; “a body cannot act where it is not”; “there cannot exist antipodes”; “darkness cannot come from light”—all of these, plus a dozen other similar statements, which were once accepted without doubt as axioms, were seen to be untenable even during the time I'm talking about. How ridiculous for these people, then, to continue believing in “axioms” as unchanging foundations of Truth! Even from the mouths of their best reasoners, it's easy to show the emptiness and insubstantiality of their axioms in general. Who was their most reliable logician? Let me check! I'll go ask Pundit and be back in a minute... Ah, here it is! Here’s a book written nearly a thousand years ago and recently translated from the Inglitch—which seems to have been the basis for the Amriccan. Pundit says it's definitely the smartest ancient work on its subject, Logic. The author (who was highly regarded in his time) was one Miller, or Mill; and we find it noted about him, as a point of some importance, that he had a mill-horse named Bentham. But let's take a look at the treatise!

Ah!—“Ability or inability to conceive,” says Mr. Mill, very properly, “is in no case to be received as a criterion of axiomatic truth.” What modern in his senses would ever think of disputing this truism? The only wonder with us must be, how it happened that Mr. Mill conceived it necessary even to hint at any thing so obvious. So far good—but let us turn over another paper. What have we here?—“Contradictories cannot both be true—that is, cannot co-exist in nature.” Here Mr. Mill means, for example, that a tree must be either a tree or not a tree—that it cannot be at the same time a tree and not a tree. Very well; but I ask him why. His reply is this—and never pretends to be any thing else than this—“Because it is impossible to conceive that contradictories can both be true.” But this is no answer at all, by his own showing, for has he not just admitted as a truism that “ability or inability to conceive is in no case to be received as a criterion of axiomatic truth.”

Ah!—“Whether or not someone can conceive something,” Mr. Mill says rightly, “should never be taken as a measure of absolute truth.” Who in their right mind would argue against this obvious point? The only thing that surprises us is why Mr. Mill felt it was necessary to even mention something so clear. So far, so good—but let’s look at another paper. What do we have here?—“Contradictories cannot both be true—that is, cannot exist together in nature.” Mr. Mill means, for instance, that a tree is either a tree or it isn’t—that it can’t be both a tree and not a tree at the same time. Okay; but I ask him why. His answer is this—and he never claims it’s anything more than this—“Because it’s impossible to imagine that contradictories can both be true.” But this isn’t an answer at all, based on his own claim, since he just acknowledged that “the ability or inability to conceive should never be taken as a measure of absolute truth.”

Now I do not complain of these ancients so much because their logic is, by their own showing, utterly baseless, worthless and fantastic altogether, as because of their pompous and imbecile proscription of all other roads of Truth, of all other means for its attainment than the two preposterous paths—the one of creeping and the one of crawling—to which they have dared to confine the Soul that loves nothing so well as to soar.

Now, I don't criticize these old thinkers so much for their logic, which by their own admission is completely unfounded, worthless, and totally absurd, but rather for their arrogant and foolish rejection of any other ways to find Truth. They limit the pursuit of Truth to two ridiculous paths—the one of crawling and the other of inching along—restricting the Soul that yearns for nothing more than to soar.

By the by, my dear friend, do you not think it would have puzzled these ancient dogmaticians to have determined by which of their two roads it was that the most important and most sublime of all their truths was, in effect, attained? I mean the truth of Gravitation. Newton owed it to Kepler. Kepler admitted that his three laws were guessed at—these three laws of all laws which led the great Inglitch mathematician to his principle, the basis of all physical principle—to go behind which we must enter the Kingdom of Metaphysics: Kepler guessed—that is to say imagined. He was essentially a “theorist”—that word now of so much sanctity, formerly an epithet of contempt. Would it not have puzzled these old moles too, to have explained by which of the two “roads” a cryptographist unriddles a cryptograph of more than usual secrecy, or by which of the two roads Champollion directed mankind to those enduring and almost innumerable truths which resulted from his deciphering the Hieroglyphics.

By the way, my dear friend, don’t you think it would have confused those ancient dogmatists to figure out which of their two paths led to the most important and profound of all their truths? I mean the truth of Gravitation. Newton credited it to Kepler. Kepler acknowledged that his three laws were merely guesses—these three laws of all laws that led the great English mathematician to his principle, the foundation of all physical principles—beyond which we must enter the Kingdom of Metaphysics: Kepler guessed—that is, he imagined. He was fundamentally a “theorist”—that word, now held in such high regard, used to be a term of disdain. Would it not have perplexed those old scholars as well to explain which of the two “roads” a cryptographer takes to solve a very secret cipher, or which of the two paths Champollion followed to reveal to humanity those lasting and nearly countless truths that came from his deciphering of the Hieroglyphics?

One word more on this topic and I will be done boring you. Is it not passing strange that, with their eternal prattling about roads to Truth, these bigoted people missed what we now so clearly perceive to be the great highway—that of Consistency? Does it not seem singular how they should have failed to deduce from the works of God the vital fact that a perfect consistency must be an absolute truth! How plain has been our progress since the late announcement of this proposition! Investigation has been taken out of the hands of the ground-moles and given, as a task, to the true and only true thinkers, the men of ardent imagination. These latter theorize. Can you not fancy the shout of scorn with which my words would be received by our progenitors were it possible for them to be now looking over my shoulder? These men, I say, theorize; and their theories are simply corrected, reduced, systematized—cleared, little by little, of their dross of inconsistency—until, finally, a perfect consistency stands apparent which even the most stolid admit, because it is a consistency, to be an absolute and an unquestionable truth.

One more word on this topic and I’ll stop boring you. Isn’t it strange that, with their endless chatter about roads to Truth, these narrow-minded people missed what we can now clearly see as the main route—that of Consistency? Doesn’t it seem odd that they failed to figure out from the works of God the crucial fact that perfect consistency must be an absolute truth? How clear our progress has been since the recent announcement of this idea! Investigation has been taken away from the ground-dwellers and handed over, as a task, to the true thinkers, those with passionate imaginations. These thinkers, I say, come up with theories. Can you imagine the scornful response my words would get from our ancestors if they could look over my shoulder right now? These men theorize; and their theories are gradually refined, organized, and stripped of inconsistencies—until, finally, a perfect consistency emerges that even the most stubborn have to admit, because it is a consistency, is an absolute and unquestionable truth.

April 4.—The new gas is doing wonders, in conjunction with the new improvement with gutta percha. How very safe, commodious, manageable, and in every respect convenient are our modern balloons! Here is an immense one approaching us at the rate of at least a hundred and fifty miles an hour. It seems to be crowded with people—perhaps there are three or four hundred passengers—and yet it soars to an elevation of nearly a mile, looking down upon poor us with sovereign contempt. Still a hundred or even two hundred miles an hour is slow travelling after all. Do you remember our flight on the railroad across the Kanadaw continent?—fully three hundred miles the hour—that was travelling. Nothing to be seen though—nothing to be done but flirt, feast and dance in the magnificent saloons. Do you remember what an odd sensation was experienced when, by chance, we caught a glimpse of external objects while the cars were in full flight? Every thing seemed unique—in one mass. For my part, I cannot say but that I preferred the travelling by the slow train of a hundred miles the hour. Here we were permitted to have glass windows—even to have them open—and something like a distinct view of the country was attainable.... Pundit says that the route for the great Kanadaw railroad must have been in some measure marked out about nine hundred years ago! In fact, he goes so far as to assert that actual traces of a road are still discernible—traces referable to a period quite as remote as that mentioned. The track, it appears was double only; ours, you know, has twelve paths; and three or four new ones are in preparation. The ancient rails were very slight, and placed so close together as to be, according to modern notions, quite frivolous, if not dangerous in the extreme. The present width of track—fifty feet—is considered, indeed, scarcely secure enough. For my part, I make no doubt that a track of some sort must have existed in very remote times, as Pundit asserts; for nothing can be clearer, to my mind, than that, at some period—not less than seven centuries ago, certainly—the Northern and Southern Kanadaw continents were united; the Kanawdians, then, would have been driven, by necessity, to a great railroad across the continent.

April 4.—The new gas is working wonders, along with the latest improvements in gutta percha. Our modern balloons are incredibly safe, comfortable, manageable, and convenient in every way! Here comes a massive one approaching us at a speed of at least one hundred and fifty miles an hour. It looks packed with people—maybe three or four hundred passengers—and yet it rises to an altitude of nearly a mile, looking down on us with a sense of superiority. Still, traveling at one hundred or even two hundred miles an hour feels slow after all. Do you remember our journey on the railroad across the Kanadaw continent?—a full three hundred miles an hour—that was real travel. But there was nothing to see—nothing to do except flirt, feast, and dance in the beautiful lounges. Do you recall the odd feeling we had when we accidentally caught a glimpse of the outside world while the trains were in full motion? Everything seemed unique—all blending together. Personally, I have to say I preferred the slower train traveling at a hundred miles an hour. We could have glass windows—even open them—and you could actually enjoy a clear view of the countryside... Pundit says that the route for the great Kanadaw railroad must have been somewhat mapped out about nine hundred years ago! In fact, he claims that there are still visible traces of a road dating back to that time. The old track was only double; ours, as you know, has twelve tracks, with three or four new ones being built. The ancient rails were pretty light and placed so closely together that, by modern standards, they seemed quite silly, if not extremely dangerous. The current track width—fifty feet—is actually considered barely secure enough. I have no doubt that some type of track existed long ago, as Pundit says; I find it hard to believe that at some point—certainly no less than seven centuries ago—the Northern and Southern Kanadaw continents weren’t connected; the Kanawdians would have needed a huge railroad across the continent.

April 5.—I am almost devoured by ennui. Pundit is the only conversible person on board; and he, poor soul! can speak of nothing but antiquities. He has been occupied all the day in the attempt to convince me that the ancient Amriccans governed themselves!—did ever anybody hear of such an absurdity?—that they existed in a sort of every-man-for-himself confederacy, after the fashion of the “prairie dogs” that we read of in fable. He says that they started with the queerest idea conceivable, viz: that all men are born free and equal—this in the very teeth of the laws of gradation so visibly impressed upon all things both in the moral and physical universe. Every man “voted,” as they called it—that is to say meddled with public affairs—until at length, it was discovered that what is everybody’s business is nobody’s, and that the “Republic” (so the absurd thing was called) was without a government at all. It is related, however, that the first circumstance which disturbed, very particularly, the self-complacency of the philosophers who constructed this “Republic,” was the startling discovery that universal suffrage gave opportunity for fraudulent schemes, by means of which any desired number of votes might at any time be polled, without the possibility of prevention or even detection, by any party which should be merely villainous enough not to be ashamed of the fraud. A little reflection upon this discovery sufficed to render evident the consequences, which were that rascality must predominate—in a word, that a republican government could never be any thing but a rascally one. While the philosophers, however, were busied in blushing at their stupidity in not having foreseen these inevitable evils, and intent upon the invention of new theories, the matter was put to an abrupt issue by a fellow of the name of Mob, who took every thing into his own hands and set up a despotism, in comparison with which those of the fabulous Zeros and Hellofagabaluses were respectable and delectable. This Mob (a foreigner, by-the-by), is said to have been the most odious of all men that ever encumbered the earth. He was a giant in stature—insolent, rapacious, filthy, had the gall of a bullock with the heart of a hyena and the brains of a peacock. He died, at length, by dint of his own energies, which exhausted him. Nevertheless, he had his uses, as every thing has, however vile, and taught mankind a lesson which to this day it is in no danger of forgetting—never to run directly contrary to the natural analogies. As for Republicanism, no analogy could be found for it upon the face of the earth—unless we except the case of the “prairie dogs,” an exception which seems to demonstrate, if anything, that democracy is a very admirable form of government—for dogs.

April 5.—I'm almost consumed by boredom. Pundit is the only person on board who I can talk to, and he, poor thing, can only discuss ancient history. He's spent the entire day trying to convince me that the ancient Americans governed themselves! Has anyone ever heard of such nonsense?—that they lived in some sort of every-man-for-himself confederation, like the “prairie dogs” we read about in fables. He claims they started with the oddest idea imaginable, namely that all men are born free and equal—this goes directly against the evidence of hierarchy clearly present in both the moral and physical universe. Every man “voted,” as they called it—that is to say, interfered with public affairs—until it became clear that what’s everyone’s business is nobody’s, and that the “Republic” (as the ridiculous thing was called) had no real government. However, it’s said that the first thing that shook the self-satisfaction of the philosophers who created this “Republic” was the shocking realization that universal suffrage allowed for fraudulent schemes, where any number of votes could be counted at any time, without the possibility of prevention or detection, by anyone truly shameless enough to commit fraud. A bit of thought on this discovery made the consequences clear: deceit would have to prevail—in short, a republican government could only be a corrupt one. While the philosophers were busy feeling embarrassed for not anticipating these inevitable problems and were focused on crafting new theories, everything came to a head with a guy named Mob, who took control and established a tyranny that made the legendary Zeros and Hellofagabaluses look decent and appealing. This Mob (a foreigner, by the way) is said to have been the most loathsome man to ever walk the earth. He was a giant in size—arrogant, greedy, filthy, with the aggression of a bull and the heart of a hyena plus the smarts of a peacock. He eventually died from his own excesses, which wore him out. Still, he had his purpose, as everything does, no matter how awful, and taught humanity a lesson that it’s unlikely to forget—never go directly against natural order. As for Republicanism, there’s no analogy for it on earth—unless we consider the case of the “prairie dogs,” an exception that seems to show, if anything, that democracy is a fine form of government—for dogs.

April 6.—Last night had a fine view of Alpha Lyrae, whose disk, through our captain’s spy-glass, subtends an angle of half a degree, looking very much as our sun does to the naked eye on a misty day. Alpha Lyrae, although so very much larger than our sun, by the by, resembles him closely as regards its spots, its atmosphere, and in many other particulars. It is only within the last century, Pundit tells me, that the binary relation existing between these two orbs began even to be suspected. The evident motion of our system in the heavens was (strange to say!) referred to an orbit about a prodigious star in the centre of the galaxy. About this star, or at all events about a centre of gravity common to all the globes of the Milky Way and supposed to be near Alcyone in the Pleiades, every one of these globes was declared to be revolving, our own performing the circuit in a period of 117,000,000 of years! We, with our present lights, our vast telescopic improvements, and so forth, of course find it difficult to comprehend the ground of an idea such as this. Its first propagator was one Mudler. He was led, we must presume, to this wild hypothesis by mere analogy in the first instance; but, this being the case, he should have at least adhered to analogy in its development. A great central orb was, in fact, suggested; so far Mudler was consistent. This central orb, however, dynamically, should have been greater than all its surrounding orbs taken together. The question might then have been asked—“Why do we not see it?”—we, especially, who occupy the mid region of the cluster—the very locality near which, at least, must be situated this inconceivable central sun. The astronomer, perhaps, at this point, took refuge in the suggestion of non-luminosity; and here analogy was suddenly let fall. But even admitting the central orb non-luminous, how did he manage to explain its failure to be rendered visible by the incalculable host of glorious suns glaring in all directions about it? No doubt what he finally maintained was merely a centre of gravity common to all the revolving orbs—but here again analogy must have been let fall. Our system revolves, it is true, about a common centre of gravity, but it does this in connection with and in consequence of a material sun whose mass more than counterbalances the rest of the system. The mathematical circle is a curve composed of an infinity of straight lines; but this idea of the circle—this idea of it which, in regard to all earthly geometry, we consider as merely the mathematical, in contradistinction from the practical, idea—is, in sober fact, the practical conception which alone we have any right to entertain in respect to those Titanic circles with which we have to deal, at least in fancy, when we suppose our system, with its fellows, revolving about a point in the centre of the galaxy. Let the most vigorous of human imaginations but attempt to take a single step toward the comprehension of a circuit so unutterable! It would scarcely be paradoxical to say that a flash of lightning itself, travelling forever upon the circumference of this inconceivable circle, would still forever be travelling in a straight line. That the path of our sun along such a circumference—that the direction of our system in such an orbit—would, to any human perception, deviate in the slightest degree from a straight line even in a million of years, is a proposition not to be entertained; and yet these ancient astronomers were absolutely cajoled, it appears, into believing that a decisive curvature had become apparent during the brief period of their astronomical history—during the mere point—during the utter nothingness of two or three thousand years! How incomprehensible, that considerations such as this did not at once indicate to them the true state of affairs—that of the binary revolution of our sun and Alpha Lyrae around a common centre of gravity!

April 6.—Last night, we had a great view of Alpha Lyrae, whose disk, through our captain’s telescope, appears to cover an angle of half a degree, looking quite similar to how our sun looks to the naked eye on a hazy day. Alpha Lyrae, despite being much larger than our sun, resembles it closely in terms of spots, atmosphere, and many other features. It’s only in the last century, as Pundit tells me, that anyone even suspected the binary relationship between these two stars. Strangely enough, the noticeable movement of our solar system in the sky was thought to be due to an orbit around a massive star at the center of the galaxy. It was claimed that all the stars in the Milky Way revolve around this star, or at least around a common center of gravity near Alcyone in the Pleiades, with our own star completing its orbit in a staggering 117,000,000 years! With our current knowledge and advanced telescopes, it's hard to grasp the reasoning behind such an idea. The first proponent of this theory was a guy named Mudler. We can assume he came up with this bizarre hypothesis based on some analogy initially; however, if that’s the case, he should have stuck to the analogy throughout. A great central star was indeed suggested, which was consistent with Mudler's idea. However, this central star should have been larger than all its surrounding stars combined. One might then ask, “Why can’t we see it?”—especially since we are in the middle of that cluster, right near where this unimaginable central sun should be. Perhaps the astronomer at this point suggested it was non-luminous, which abandoned the analogy altogether. But even if we assume this central star is not luminous, how could he explain why it wouldn’t be visible amidst the countless bright stars surrounding it? What he ultimately claimed was just a common center of gravity for all the revolving stars—but here analogies were dropped again. Our solar system indeed revolves around a common center of gravity, but it does so because of a material sun whose mass outweighs that of the rest of the system. A mathematical circle is made up of an infinite number of straight lines; however, this idea of a circle—this mathematical concept in relation to earthly geometry—is, in fact, the practical idea we should hold when thinking of those immense circles we deal with, at least in theory, when we imagine our system and its companions revolving around a point in the galaxy’s center. Let even the most vivid human imagination attempt to take a single step toward understanding such an unfathomable circuit! It wouldn’t be unreasonable to say that a bolt of lightning, traveling forever along the perimeter of this unimaginable circle, would still be traveling in a straight line. The path of our sun along such a circumference—that the direction of our system in such an orbit—would not, to any human observation, deviate even a little from a straight line over a million years is a statement that should be taken seriously; yet, it seems these ancient astronomers were tricked into believing that a noticeable curve had appeared during their short astronomical history—during just a brief moment—during the sheer nothingness of two or three thousand years! It’s mind-boggling that considerations like this didn’t immediately reveal to them the true nature of things—that our sun and Alpha Lyrae are in a binary orbit around a common center of gravity!

April 7.—Continued last night our astronomical amusements. Had a fine view of the five Neptunian asteroids, and watched with much interest the putting up of a huge impost on a couple of lintels in the new temple at Daphnis in the moon. It was amusing to think that creatures so diminutive as the lunarians, and bearing so little resemblance to humanity, yet evinced a mechanical ingenuity so much superior to our own. One finds it difficult, too, to conceive the vast masses which these people handle so easily, to be as light as our own reason tells us they actually are.

April 7.—We continued our stargazing activities last night. We had a great view of the five Neptunian asteroids and watched with great interest as they set up a huge impost on a couple of lintels in the new temple at Daphnis on the moon. It was amusing to think that beings as tiny as the lunarians, who look so little like humans, display a mechanical skill that's way beyond ours. It's hard to believe that the massive structures these beings manage so easily are as light as our own logic suggests they actually are.

April 8.—Eureka! Pundit is in his glory. A balloon from Kanadaw spoke us to-day and threw on board several late papers; they contain some exceedingly curious information relative to Kanawdian or rather Amriccan antiquities. You know, I presume, that laborers have for some months been employed in preparing the ground for a new fountain at Paradise, the Emperor’s principal pleasure garden. Paradise, it appears, has been, literally speaking, an island time out of mind—that is to say, its northern boundary was always (as far back as any record extends) a rivulet, or rather a very narrow arm of the sea. This arm was gradually widened until it attained its present breadth—a mile. The whole length of the island is nine miles; the breadth varies materially. The entire area (so Pundit says) was, about eight hundred years ago, densely packed with houses, some of them twenty stories high; land (for some most unaccountable reason) being considered as especially precious just in this vicinity. The disastrous earthquake, however, of the year 2050, so totally uprooted and overwhelmed the town (for it was almost too large to be called a village) that the most indefatigable of our antiquarians have never yet been able to obtain from the site any sufficient data (in the shape of coins, medals or inscriptions) wherewith to build up even the ghost of a theory concerning the manners, customs, &c., &c., &c., of the aboriginal inhabitants. Nearly all that we have hitherto known of them is, that they were a portion of the Knickerbocker tribe of savages infesting the continent at its first discovery by Recorder Riker, a knight of the Golden Fleece. They were by no means uncivilized, however, but cultivated various arts and even sciences after a fashion of their own. It is related of them that they were acute in many respects, but were oddly afflicted with monomania for building what, in the ancient Amriccan, was denominated “churches”—a kind of pagoda instituted for the worship of two idols that went by the names of Wealth and Fashion. In the end, it is said, the island became, nine tenths of it, church. The women, too, it appears, were oddly deformed by a natural protuberance of the region just below the small of the back—although, most unaccountably, this deformity was looked upon altogether in the light of a beauty. One or two pictures of these singular women have in fact, been miraculously preserved. They look very odd, very—like something between a turkey-cock and a dromedary.

April 8.—Eureka! Pundit is thrilled. A balloon from Canada got in touch with us today and dropped off several recent newspapers; they contain some fascinating information about Canadian, or rather American, antiquities. You probably know that workers have been busy for some months preparing the ground for a new fountain at Paradise, the Emperor’s main pleasure garden. It turns out that Paradise has literally been an island for ages—that is, its northern boundary has always been (as far back as any records go) a small stream, or more precisely, a very narrow body of water. This body of water gradually widened until it reached its current width of a mile. The entire length of the island is nine miles, and its width varies significantly. According to Pundit, the whole area was about eight hundred years ago densely filled with houses, some of which were twenty stories high; for some mysterious reason, land in this area was considered exceptionally valuable. However, the disastrous earthquake in the year 2050 completely uprooted and destroyed the town (which was almost too large to be called a village), so our most dedicated antiquarians have yet to find any significant data (like coins, medals, or inscriptions) from the site to reconstruct even the faintest theory about the lifestyles, customs, etc., of the original inhabitants. Nearly all we know about them is that they were part of the Knickerbocker tribe of natives who lived on the continent at its initial discovery by Recorder Riker, a knight of the Golden Fleece. They weren’t uncivilized, though; they practiced various arts and even sciences in their own unique way. It's said that they were sharp in many aspects, but strangely obsessed with building what was known in ancient American terms as “churches”—a sort of pagoda created for the worship of two idols named Wealth and Fashion. In the end, it’s said that the island became predominantly a church. The women, too, had a peculiar deformity due to a natural bulge in the area just below their lower back—though, oddly enough, this deformity was regarded as a form of beauty. A couple of images of these unusual women have actually been miraculously preserved. They look very odd, sort of like a mix between a turkey and a dromedary.

Well, these few details are nearly all that have descended to us respecting the ancient Knickerbockers. It seems, however, that while digging in the centre of the emperors garden, (which, you know, covers the whole island), some of the workmen unearthed a cubical and evidently chiseled block of granite, weighing several hundred pounds. It was in good preservation, having received, apparently, little injury from the convulsion which entombed it. On one of its surfaces was a marble slab with (only think of it!) an inscription—a legible inscription. Pundit is in ecstacies. Upon detaching the slab, a cavity appeared, containing a leaden box filled with various coins, a long scroll of names, several documents which appear to resemble newspapers, with other matters of intense interest to the antiquarian! There can be no doubt that all these are genuine Amriccan relics belonging to the tribe called Knickerbocker. The papers thrown on board our balloon are filled with fac-similes of the coins, MSS., typography, &c., &c. I copy for your amusement the Knickerbocker inscription on the marble slab:—

Well, these few details are pretty much all we have about the ancient Knickerbockers. It seems that while digging in the center of the emperor's garden, which, as you know, covers the whole island, some workers uncovered a large, cube-shaped block of granite, weighing several hundred pounds. It was in good condition, having apparently suffered little damage from the event that buried it. On one of its sides was a marble slab with—can you believe it?—an inscription—a legible inscription. Pundit is thrilled. When they removed the slab, a cavity was revealed, containing a lead box filled with various coins, a long scroll of names, several documents that look like newspapers, and other items of great interest to archaeologists! There's no doubt that all these are genuine American artifacts belonging to the tribe known as Knickerbocker. The papers we collected from our balloon are filled with reproductions of the coins, manuscripts, typography, etc., etc. I’m sharing for your enjoyment the Knickerbocker inscription on the marble slab:—

This Corner Stone of a Monument to
The Memory of
GEORGE WASHINGTON
Was Laid With Appropriate Ceremonies
on the
19th Day of October, 1847
The anniversary of the surrender of
Lord Cornwallis
to General Washington at Yorktown
A. D. 1781
Under the Auspices of the
Washington Monument Association of
the city of New York

This cornerstone of a monument to
the memory of
George Washington
was laid with fitting ceremonies
on the
19th day of October, 1847.
This was the anniversary of the surrender of
Lord Cornwallis
to General Washington at Yorktown
A.D. 1781.
Under the auspices of the
Washington Monument Association of
the City of New York.

This, as I give it, is a verbatim translation done by Pundit himself, so there can be no mistake about it. From the few words thus preserved, we glean several important items of knowledge, not the least interesting of which is the fact that a thousand years ago actual monuments had fallen into disuse—as was all very proper—the people contenting themselves, as we do now, with a mere indication of the design to erect a monument at some future time; a corner-stone being cautiously laid by itself “solitary and alone” (excuse me for quoting the great American poet Benton!), as a guarantee of the magnanimous intention. We ascertain, too, very distinctly, from this admirable inscription, the how as well as the where and the what, of the great surrender in question. As to the where, it was Yorktown (wherever that was), and as to the what, it was General Cornwallis (no doubt some wealthy dealer in corn). He was surrendered. The inscription commemorates the surrender of—what?—why, “of Lord Cornwallis.” The only question is what could the savages wish him surrendered for. But when we remember that these savages were undoubtedly cannibals, we are led to the conclusion that they intended him for sausage. As to the how of the surrender, no language can be more explicit. Lord Cornwallis was surrendered (for sausage) “under the auspices of the Washington Monument Association”—no doubt a charitable institution for the depositing of corner-stones.—But, Heaven bless me! what is the matter? Ah, I see—the balloon has collapsed, and we shall have a tumble into the sea. I have, therefore, only time enough to add that, from a hasty inspection of the fac-similes of newspapers, &c., &c., I find that the great men in those days among the Amriccans, were one John, a smith, and one Zacchary, a tailor.

This is a direct translation done by Pundit himself, so there’s no doubt about it. From the few words that have been preserved, we gather several important pieces of information, one of the most interesting being that a thousand years ago, actual monuments had fallen into disuse—as was entirely appropriate—the people settling for a simple indication of the plan to build a monument at some point in the future; a corner-stone being carefully laid by itself “solitary and alone” (pardon me for quoting the great American poet Benton!), as a sign of their good intentions. We clearly learn, from this excellent inscription, the how, where, and what of the significant surrender in question. As for the where, it was Yorktown (wherever that was), and the what was General Cornwallis (probably just a wealthy grain dealer). He was surrendered. The inscription commemorates the surrender of—what?—well, “of Lord Cornwallis.” The only question is what the natives wanted him surrendered for. But when we remember that these natives were undoubtedly cannibals, we can conclude that they intended him for sausage. Regarding the how of the surrender, no language could be clearer. Lord Cornwallis was surrendered (for sausage) “under the auspices of the Washington Monument Association”—most likely a charitable organization for laying corner-stones. But, good heavens! what’s happening? Ah, I see—the balloon has deflated, and we’re going to crash into the sea. I have, therefore, just enough time to add that, from a quick look at the facsimiles of newspapers, etc., etc., I find that the prominent figures back then among the Americans were one John, a blacksmith, and one Zacchary, a tailor.

Good-bye, until I see you again. Whether you ever get this letter or not is point of little importance, as I write altogether for my own amusement. I shall cork the MS. up in a bottle, however, and throw it into the sea.

Goodbye, until we meet again. It doesn't really matter if you ever get this letter, because I'm writing it just for my own enjoyment. I'll seal the manuscript in a bottle and toss it into the ocean.

Yours everlastingly,
PUNDITA.

Yours forever,
PUNDITA.

THE DUC DE L’OMELETTE.

And stepped at once into a cooler clime.—Cowper.

And stepped right into a cooler climate.—Cowper.

Keats fell by a criticism. Who was it died of “The Andromache”? {*1} Ignoble souls!—De L’Omelette perished of an ortolan. L’histoire en est brève. Assist me, Spirit of Apicius!

Keats was brought down by criticism. Who was it that died from "The Andromache"? {*1} Dishonorable souls!—De L’Omelette died from an ortolan. The story is short. Help me, Spirit of Apicius!

A golden cage bore the little winged wanderer, enamored, melting, indolent, to the Chaussée D’Antin, from its home in far Peru. From its queenly possessor La Bellissima, to the Duc De L’Omelette, six peers of the empire conveyed the happy bird.

A golden cage carried the little winged traveler, enchanted and languid, to the Chaussée D’Antin, all the way from its home in distant Peru. Six nobles of the empire brought the joyful bird from its majestic owner, La Bellissima, to the Duc De L’Omelette.

That night the Duc was to sup alone. In the privacy of his bureau he reclined languidly on that ottoman for which he sacrificed his loyalty in outbidding his king—the notorious ottoman of Cadêt.

That night, the Duc was having dinner alone. In the privacy of his office, he lounged comfortably on the ottoman he sacrificed his loyalty for when he outbid his king—the infamous ottoman of Cadêt.

He buries his face in the pillow. The clock strikes! Unable to restrain his feelings, his Grace swallows an olive. At this moment the door gently opens to the sound of soft music, and lo! the most delicate of birds is before the most enamored of men! But what inexpressible dismay now overshadows the countenance of the Duc?—“Horreur!—chien! Baptiste!—l’oiseau! ah, bon Dieu! cet oiseau modeste que tu as déshabillé de ses plumes, et que tu as servi sans papier!” It is superfluous to say more:—the Duc expired in a paroxysm of disgust.

He buries his face in the pillow. The clock chimes! Unable to hold back his emotions, his Grace eats an olive. At that moment, the door quietly opens to the sound of soft music, and suddenly! the most delicate of birds appears before the most enamored of men! But what overwhelming dismay now clouds the Duc's face?—“Horror!—dog! Baptiste!—the bird! oh my God! that modest bird you undressed of its feathers and served without a napkin!” It's unnecessary to say more:—the Duc fainted in a fit of disgust.

“Ha! ha! ha!” said his Grace on the third day after his decease.

“Ha! ha! ha!” said his Grace on the third day after his death.

“He! he! he!” replied the Devil faintly, drawing himself up with an air of hauteur.

“He! he! he!” replied the Devil weakly, straightening himself with an air of arrogance.

“Why, surely you are not serious,” retorted De L’Omelette. “I have sinned—c’est vrai—but, my good sir, consider!—you have no actual intention of putting such—such barbarous threats into execution.”

“Why, you can’t be serious,” replied De L’Omelette. “I have sinned—it’s true—but, my good sir, think about it!—you have no real intention of carrying out such—such brutal threats.”

“No what?” said his majesty—“come, sir, strip!”

“No what?” said his majesty—“come on, sir, take it off!”

“Strip, indeed! very pretty i’ faith! no, sir, I shall not strip. Who are you, pray, that I, Duc De L’Omelette, Prince de Foie-Gras, just come of age, author of the ‘Mazurkiad,’ and Member of the Academy, should divest myself at your bidding of the sweetest pantaloons ever made by Bourdon, the daintiest robe-de-chambre ever put together by Rombêrt—to say nothing of the taking my hair out of paper—not to mention the trouble I should have in drawing off my gloves?”

“Strip, really? How charming! No, sir, I will not strip. Who are you, exactly, that I, Duc De L’Omelette, Prince de Foie-Gras, just turned 18, author of the ‘Mazurkiad,’ and Member of the Academy, should remove the finest pants ever made by Bourdon, or the most exquisite robe-de-chambre ever crafted by Rombêrt—not to mention taking my hair out of curlers—not to mention the hassle of taking off my gloves?”

“Who am I?—ah, true! I am Baal-Zebub, Prince of the Fly. I took thee, just now, from a rose-wood coffin inlaid with ivory. Thou wast curiously scented, and labelled as per invoice. Belial sent thee,—my Inspector of Cemeteries. The pantaloons, which thou sayest were made by Bourdon, are an excellent pair of linen drawers, and thy robe-de-chambre is a shroud of no scanty dimensions.”

“Who am I?—oh, right! I’m Baal-Zebub, the Prince of the Flies. I just took you out of a rosewood coffin with ivory inlays. You smelled unique and had a label like a shipping invoice. Belial sent you—my Cemetery Inspector. The pants you say were made by Bourdon are a great set of linen drawers, and your robe-de-chambre is quite a large shroud.”

“Sir!” replied the Duc, “I am not to be insulted with impunity!—Sir! I shall take the earliest opportunity of avenging this insult!—Sir! you shall hear from me! in the meantime au revoir!”—and the Duc was bowing himself out of the Satanic presence, when he was interrupted and brought back by a gentleman in waiting. Hereupon his Grace rubbed his eyes, yawned, shrugged his shoulders, reflected. Having become satisfied of his identity, he took a bird’s eye view of his whereabouts.

“Sir!” replied the Duke, “I won’t stand for this insult without consequences!—Sir! I’ll find the first chance to get back at you!—Sir! You’ll hear from me! In the meantime, see you later!”—and the Duke was bowing as he left the presence of the sinister figure when he was stopped and brought back by a gentleman in attendance. At this, his Grace rubbed his eyes, yawned, shrugged his shoulders, and thought it over. After confirming his identity, he took a quick look around to assess his surroundings.

The apartment was superb. Even De L’Omelette pronounced it bien comme il faut. It was not its length nor its breadth,—but its height—ah, that was appalling!—There was no ceiling—certainly none—but a dense whirling mass of fiery-colored clouds. His Grace’s brain reeled as he glanced upward. From above, hung a chain of an unknown blood-red metal—its upper end lost, like the city of Boston, parmi les nues. From its nether extremity swung a large cresset. The Duc knew it to be a ruby; but from it there poured a light so intense, so still, so terrible, Persia never worshipped such—Gheber never imagined such—Mussulman never dreamed of such when, drugged with opium, he has tottered to a bed of poppies, his back to the flowers, and his face to the God Apollo. The Duc muttered a slight oath, decidedly approbatory.

The apartment was amazing. Even De L’Omelette called it just right. It wasn’t its length or width—but its height—ah, that was shocking!—There was no ceiling—definitely none—but a thick, swirling mass of fiery-colored clouds. His Grace’s head spun as he looked up. Hanging above was a chain made of an unknown blood-red metal—its upper end lost, like the city of Boston, among the clouds. From its lower end hung a large lamp. The Duc knew it was a ruby; but from it, a light poured out that was so intense, so still, so terrifying, Persia never worshipped anything like it—Gheber never imagined anything like it—Muslim never dreamed of anything like it when, drugged with opium, he staggered to a bed of poppies, lying with his back to the flowers and his face to the sun. The Duc muttered a slight curse, clearly pleased.

The corners of the room were rounded into niches. Three of these were filled with statues of gigantic proportions. Their beauty was Grecian, their deformity Egyptian, their tout ensemble French. In the fourth niche the statue was veiled; it was not colossal. But then there was a taper ankle, a sandalled foot. De L’Omelette pressed his hand upon his heart, closed his eyes, raised them, and caught his Satanic Majesty—in a blush.

The corners of the room were rounded into alcoves. Three of these were filled with massive statues. Their beauty was Grecian, their deformity Egyptian, and their overall look was French. In the fourth alcove, the statue was veiled; it wasn’t colossal. But it did have a slender ankle and a sandaled foot. De L’Omelette pressed his hand to his heart, closed his eyes, raised them, and caught a glimpse of his Satanic Majesty—in a blush.

But the paintings!—Kupris! Astarte! Astoreth!—a thousand and the same! And Rafaelle has beheld them! Yes, Rafaelle has been here, for did he not paint the—? and was he not consequently damned? The paintings—the paintings! O luxury! O love!—who, gazing on those forbidden beauties, shall have eyes for the dainty devices of the golden frames that besprinkled, like stars, the hyacinth and the porphyry walls?

But the paintings!—Kupris! Astarte! Astoreth!—all a thousand and the same! And Raphael has seen them! Yes, Raphael has been here, for didn’t he paint the—? and wasn't he then damned? The paintings—the paintings! Oh, luxury! Oh, love!—who, looking at those forbidden beauties, can find time to notice the delicate designs of the golden frames that scattered, like stars, across the hyacinth and porphyry walls?

But the Duc’s heart is fainting within him. He is not, however, as you suppose, dizzy with magnificence, nor drunk with the ecstatic breath of those innumerable censers. C’est vrai que de toutes ces choses il a pensé beaucoup—mais! The Duc De L’Omelette is terror-stricken; for, through the lurid vista which a single uncurtained window is affording, lo! gleams the most ghastly of all fires!

But the Duc's heart is faint in his chest. He's not, however, as you might think, overwhelmed by the grandeur or intoxicated by the heady scent of countless incense burners. It’s true that he has thought a lot about all these things—but! The Duc De L’Omelette is terrified; for, through the grim view provided by a single open window, behold! shines the most horrifying of all fires!

Le pauvre Duc! He could not help imagining that the glorious, the voluptuous, the never-dying melodies which pervaded that hall, as they passed filtered and transmuted through the alchemy of the enchanted window-panes, were the wailings and the howlings of the hopeless and the damned! And there, too!—there!—upon the ottoman!—who could he be?—he, the petitmaître—no, the Deity—who sat as if carved in marble, et qui sourit, with his pale countenance, si amèrement?

Poor Duke! He couldn't help but imagine that the glorious, indulgent, never-ending melodies filling that hall, as they flowed through the magic of the enchanted window panes, were the cries and screams of the hopeless and the damned! And there, too!—there!—on the ottoman!—who could he be?—he, the petitmaître—no, the Deity—who sat as if carved in marble, et qui sourit, with his pale face, si amèrement?

Mais il faut agir—that is to say, a Frenchman never faints outright. Besides, his Grace hated a scene—De L’Omelette is himself again. There were some foils upon a table—some points also. The Duc had studied under B——; il avait tué ses six hommes. Now, then, il peut s’échapper. He measures two points, and, with a grace inimitable, offers his Majesty the choice. Horreur! his Majesty does not fence!

But we must act—in other words, a Frenchman never faints outright. Besides, his Grace hated a scene—De L’Omelette is himself again. There were some foils on a table—some points too. The Duc had trained under B——; he had killed his six men. Now then, he can escape. He measures two points and, with an unmatched grace, offers his Majesty the choice. Horror! His Majesty does not fence!

Mais il joue!—how happy a thought!—but his Grace had always an excellent memory. He had dipped in the “Diable” of Abbé Gualtier. Therein it is said “que le Diable n’ose pas refuser un jeu d’écarté.

But he plays!—what a joyful thought!—yet his Grace always had a great memory. He had looked into the “Diable” by Abbé Gualtier. It says in there “that the Devil dares not refuse a game of écarté.

But the chances—the chances! True—desperate: but scarcely more desperate than the Duc. Besides, was he not in the secret?—had he not skimmed over Père Le Brun?—was he not a member of the Club Vingt-un? “Si je perds,” said he, “je serai deux fois perdu—I shall be doubly damned—voilà tout! (Here his Grace shrugged his shoulders.) Si je gagne, je reviendrai a mes ortolans—que les cartes soient préparées!

But the stakes—the stakes! True, it was a desperate situation: but hardly more desperate than the Duke's. Besides, wasn't he in on the secret?—hadn't he gone through Père Le Brun?—wasn't he a member of the Club Vingt-un? “If I lose,” he said, “I’ll be twice as lost—I’ll be completely doomed—that’s all there is to it!” (Here his Grace shrugged his shoulders.) If I win, I'll return to my ortolans—let the cards be prepared!

His Grace was all care, all attention—his Majesty all confidence. A spectator would have thought of Francis and Charles. His Grace thought of his game. His Majesty did not think; he shuffled. The Duc cut.

His Grace was full of concern and focus—his Majesty completely self-assured. Anyone watching might have thought of Francis and Charles. His Grace was focused on his strategy. His Majesty didn’t think; he just fidgeted. The Duke made a cut.

The cards were dealt. The trump is turned—it is—it is—the king! No—it was the queen. His Majesty cursed her masculine habiliments. De L’Omelette placed his hand upon his heart.

The cards were dealt. The trump is turned—it is—it is—the king! No—it was the queen. His Majesty cursed her masculine clothes. De L’Omelette placed his hand on his heart.

They play. The Duc counts. The hand is out. His Majesty counts heavily, smiles, and is taking wine. The Duc slips a card.

They play. The Duke counts. The hand is out. His Majesty counts slowly, smiles, and sips wine. The Duke sneaks a card.

C’est à vous à faire,” said his Majesty, cutting. His Grace bowed, dealt, and arose from the table en presentant le Roi.

It's up to you to do,” said his Majesty, interrupting. His Grace bowed, dealt, and got up from the table presenting the King.

His Majesty looked chagrined.

The King looked upset.

Had Alexander not been Alexander, he would have been Diogenes; and the Duc assured his antagonist in taking leave, “que s’il n’eût été De L’Omelette il n’aurait point d’objection d’être le Diable.

Had Alexander not been Alexander, he would have been Diogenes; and the Duc assured his opponent as he took his leave, “that if he hadn’t been De L’Omelette, he wouldn’t mind being the Devil.

THE OBLONG BOX.

Some years ago, I engaged passage from Charleston, S. C., to the city of New York, in the fine packet-ship “Independence,” Captain Hardy. We were to sail on the fifteenth of the month (June), weather permitting; and on the fourteenth, I went on board to arrange some matters in my state-room.

Some years ago, I booked a trip from Charleston, S.C., to New York City on the beautiful packet ship "Independence," Captain Hardy. We were supposed to set sail on the fifteenth of June, depending on the weather, and on the fourteenth, I went aboard to sort out some things in my cabin.

I found that we were to have a great many passengers, including a more than usual number of ladies. On the list were several of my acquaintances, and among other names, I was rejoiced to see that of Mr. Cornelius Wyatt, a young artist, for whom I entertained feelings of warm friendship. He had been with me a fellow-student at C—— University, where we were very much together. He had the ordinary temperament of genius, and was a compound of misanthropy, sensibility, and enthusiasm. To these qualities he united the warmest and truest heart which ever beat in a human bosom.

I discovered that we were going to have a lot of passengers, including more ladies than usual. On the list were several people I knew, and I was happy to see the name of Mr. Cornelius Wyatt, a young artist for whom I had warm feelings of friendship. He had been my fellow student at C—— University, where we spent a lot of time together. He had the typical temperament of a genius, being a mix of misanthropy, sensitivity, and enthusiasm. Along with these qualities, he had the warmest and truest heart that ever beat in a human chest.

I observed that his name was carded upon three state-rooms; and, upon again referring to the list of passengers, I found that he had engaged passage for himself, wife, and two sisters—his own. The state-rooms were sufficiently roomy, and each had two berths, one above the other. These berths, to be sure, were so exceedingly narrow as to be insufficient for more than one person; still, I could not comprehend why there were three state-rooms for these four persons. I was, just at that epoch, in one of those moody frames of mind which make a man abnormally inquisitive about trifles: and I confess, with shame, that I busied myself in a variety of ill-bred and preposterous conjectures about this matter of the supernumerary state-room. It was no business of mine, to be sure, but with none the less pertinacity did I occupy myself in attempts to resolve the enigma. At last I reached a conclusion which wrought in me great wonder why I had not arrived at it before. “It is a servant of course,” I said; “what a fool I am, not sooner to have thought of so obvious a solution!” And then I again repaired to the list—but here I saw distinctly that no servant was to come with the party, although, in fact, it had been the original design to bring one—for the words “and servant” had been first written and then overscored. “Oh, extra baggage, to be sure,” I now said to myself—“something he wishes not to be put in the hold—something to be kept under his own eye—ah, I have it—a painting or so—and this is what he has been bargaining about with Nicolino, the Italian Jew.” This idea satisfied me, and I dismissed my curiosity for the nonce.

I noticed that his name was listed on three cabins, and when I checked the passenger list again, I saw that he had booked passage for himself, his wife, and his two sisters—his own. The cabins were spacious enough, each with two bunks, one stacked above the other. However, these bunks were so narrow that only one person could comfortably fit in them; still, I couldn’t understand why there were three cabins for just four people. At that moment, I was in one of those moods that made me overly curious about little things, and I admit, with some embarrassment, that I spent time coming up with various rude and ridiculous theories about why there was an extra cabin. It wasn't my business, of course, but I stubbornly tried to solve the mystery. Eventually, I came to a conclusion that made me wonder why I hadn’t thought of it sooner. “It must be a servant,” I said; “what a fool I am for not having figured out such an obvious answer!” Then I looked at the list again—but I clearly saw that no servant was coming with them, even though it had originally been planned to bring one—because the words “and servant” had been written and then crossed out. “Oh, extra luggage, of course,” I now said to myself—“something he doesn’t want to put in the hold—something he wants to keep an eye on—ah, I got it—a painting or two—and this is what he’s been negotiating about with Nicolino, the Italian Jew.” This idea satisfied me, and I set my curiosity aside for the moment.

Wyatt’s two sisters I knew very well, and most amiable and clever girls they were. His wife he had newly married, and I had never yet seen her. He had often talked about her in my presence, however, and in his usual style of enthusiasm. He described her as of surpassing beauty, wit, and accomplishment. I was, therefore, quite anxious to make her acquaintance.

I knew Wyatt's two sisters very well, and they were both friendly and smart. He had just married his wife, and I hadn't met her yet. He often spoke about her in my presence with his usual enthusiasm. He described her as extraordinarily beautiful, intelligent, and talented. Because of this, I was really eager to meet her.

On the day in which I visited the ship (the fourteenth), Wyatt and party were also to visit it—so the captain informed me—and I waited on board an hour longer than I had designed, in hope of being presented to the bride, but then an apology came. “Mrs. W. was a little indisposed, and would decline coming on board until to-morrow, at the hour of sailing.”

On the day I visited the ship (the fourteenth), Wyatt and his group were also supposed to come aboard—at least that's what the captain told me. I stayed on the ship an hour longer than I intended, hoping to meet the bride, but then I received an apology. “Mrs. W. was feeling a bit under the weather and would prefer not to come on board until tomorrow, at the time of departure.”

The morrow having arrived, I was going from my hotel to the wharf, when Captain Hardy met me and said that, “owing to circumstances” (a stupid but convenient phrase), “he rather thought the ‘Independence’ would not sail for a day or two, and that when all was ready, he would send up and let me know.” This I thought strange, for there was a stiff southerly breeze; but as “the circumstances” were not forthcoming, although I pumped for them with much perseverance, I had nothing to do but to return home and digest my impatience at leisure.

The next day, I was on my way from my hotel to the wharf when Captain Hardy ran into me. He mentioned that, “due to circumstances” (a silly but convenient phrase), he thought the ‘Independence’ wouldn't sail for a day or two, and that he would let me know when everything was ready. I found this strange since there was a strong southerly breeze, but since “the circumstances” weren't revealed, despite my persistent questioning, I had no choice but to head home and patiently deal with my frustration.

I did not receive the expected message from the captain for nearly a week. It came at length, however, and I immediately went on board. The ship was crowded with passengers, and every thing was in the bustle attendant upon making sail. Wyatt’s party arrived in about ten minutes after myself. There were the two sisters, the bride, and the artist—the latter in one of his customary fits of moody misanthropy. I was too well used to these, however, to pay them any special attention. He did not even introduce me to his wife—this courtesy devolving, per force, upon his sister Marian—a very sweet and intelligent girl, who, in a few hurried words, made us acquainted.

I didn't get the expected message from the captain for almost a week. It finally arrived, and I quickly went on board. The ship was full of passengers, and everything was bustling as they prepared to set sail. Wyatt's group showed up about ten minutes after I did. There were the two sisters, the bride, and the artist—who was being his usual moody self. I was used to his behavior, so I didn't pay it much mind. He didn't even introduce me to his wife—this duty fell to his sister Marian, a very sweet and smart girl, who quickly helped us get acquainted.

Mrs. Wyatt had been closely veiled; and when she raised her veil, in acknowledging my bow, I confess that I was very profoundly astonished. I should have been much more so, however, had not long experience advised me not to trust, with too implicit a reliance, the enthusiastic descriptions of my friend, the artist, when indulging in comments upon the loveliness of woman. When beauty was the theme, I well knew with what facility he soared into the regions of the purely ideal.

Mrs. Wyatt had been heavily veiled, and when she lifted her veil to acknowledge my nod, I have to admit I was truly shocked. I would have been even more surprised, though, if my long experience hadn't taught me not to blindly trust the enthusiastic descriptions of my friend, the artist, when he commented on the beauty of women. When beauty was the topic, I knew very well how easily he could drift into the world of pure ideals.

The truth is, I could not help regarding Mrs. Wyatt as a decidedly plain-looking woman. If not positively ugly, she was not, I think, very far from it. She was dressed, however, in exquisite taste—and then I had no doubt that she had captivated my friend’s heart by the more enduring graces of the intellect and soul. She said very few words, and passed at once into her state-room with Mr. W.

The truth is, I couldn’t help but see Mrs. Wyatt as a pretty plain-looking woman. If she wasn't exactly ugly, she was definitely close to it. However, she was dressed with great taste—and I had no doubt that she had won my friend’s heart with her enduring qualities of intellect and soul. She spoke very little and quickly went into her state room with Mr. W.

My old inquisitiveness now returned. There was no servant—that was a settled point. I looked, therefore, for the extra baggage. After some delay, a cart arrived at the wharf, with an oblong pine box, which was every thing that seemed to be expected. Immediately upon its arrival we made sail, and in a short time were safely over the bar and standing out to sea.

My old curiosity came back. There was no servant—that was clear. I then looked for the extra luggage. After a bit of a wait, a cart showed up at the wharf with a rectangular pine box, which was everything that appeared to be expected. As soon as it arrived, we set sail and soon were safely past the bar and heading out to sea.

The box in question was, as I say, oblong. It was about six feet in length by two and a half in breadth; I observed it attentively, and like to be precise. Now this shape was peculiar; and no sooner had I seen it, than I took credit to myself for the accuracy of my guessing. I had reached the conclusion, it will be remembered, that the extra baggage of my friend, the artist, would prove to be pictures, or at least a picture; for I knew he had been for several weeks in conference with Nicolino:—and now here was a box, which, from its shape, could possibly contain nothing in the world but a copy of Leonardo’s “Last Supper;” and a copy of this very “Last Supper,” done by Rubini the younger, at Florence, I had known, for some time, to be in the possession of Nicolino. This point, therefore, I considered as sufficiently settled. I chuckled excessively when I thought of my acumen. It was the first time I had ever known Wyatt to keep from me any of his artistical secrets; but here he evidently intended to steal a march upon me, and smuggle a fine picture to New York, under my very nose; expecting me to know nothing of the matter. I resolved to quiz him well, now and hereafter.

The box in question was, as I mentioned, rectangular. It measured about six feet long and two and a half feet wide; I observed it closely and like to be precise. This shape was unusual, and as soon as I saw it, I took pride in my guessing skills. I had come to the conclusion, as you'll recall, that my friend, the artist, would have extra baggage filled with paintings, or at least one painting; I knew he had been in discussions with Nicolino for several weeks. And now here was a box that, based on its shape, could only possibly contain a copy of Leonardo’s “Last Supper;” and I had known for a while that a copy of that very “Last Supper,” created by Rubini the younger in Florence, was in Nicolino's possession. This point, then, I considered settled. I couldn't help but chuckle at my own cleverness. It was the first time I had ever known Wyatt to withhold any of his artistic secrets from me; but here he clearly planned to outsmart me and sneak a valuable painting into New York right under my nose, expecting me to be none the wiser. I decided to give him a hard time about it, now and in the future.

One thing, however, annoyed me not a little. The box did not go into the extra state-room. It was deposited in Wyatt’s own; and there, too, it remained, occupying very nearly the whole of the floor—no doubt to the exceeding discomfort of the artist and his wife;—this the more especially as the tar or paint with which it was lettered in sprawling capitals, emitted a strong, disagreeable, and, to my fancy, a peculiarly disgusting odor. On the lid were painted the words—“Mrs. Adelaide Curtis, Albany, New York. Charge of Cornelius Wyatt, Esq. This side up. To be handled with care.”

One thing, though, really irritated me. The box didn’t fit into the extra bedroom. It was placed in Wyatt's room instead, where it took up almost the entire floor—probably causing a lot of discomfort for the artist and his wife; especially considering the tar or paint used for the big letters gave off a strong, unpleasant, and what I found to be a particularly disgusting smell. On the lid, it was painted with the words—“Mrs. Adelaide Curtis, Albany, New York. Care of Cornelius Wyatt, Esq. This side up. Handle with care.”

Now, I was aware that Mrs. Adelaide Curtis, of Albany, was the artist’s wife’s mother,—but then I looked upon the whole address as a mystification, intended especially for myself. I made up my mind, of course, that the box and contents would never get farther north than the studio of my misanthropic friend, in Chambers Street, New York.

Now, I knew that Mrs. Adelaide Curtis, from Albany, was the artist’s wife’s mother—but I saw the whole address as a puzzle meant just for me. I decided, of course, that the box and its contents would never make it farther north than the studio of my misanthropic friend on Chambers Street in New York.

For the first three or four days we had fine weather, although the wind was dead ahead; having chopped round to the northward, immediately upon our losing sight of the coast. The passengers were, consequently, in high spirits and disposed to be social. I must except, however, Wyatt and his sisters, who behaved stiffly, and, I could not help thinking, uncourteously to the rest of the party. Wyatt’s conduct I did not so much regard. He was gloomy, even beyond his usual habit—in fact he was morose—but in him I was prepared for eccentricity. For the sisters, however, I could make no excuse. They secluded themselves in their staterooms during the greater part of the passage, and absolutely refused, although I repeatedly urged them, to hold communication with any person on board.

For the first three or four days, we had great weather, even though the wind was directly against us after it shifted to the north as soon as we lost sight of the coast. As a result, the passengers were in high spirits and willing to socialize. I must mention, though, that Wyatt and his sisters acted very stiff and, I couldn’t help but think, rudely towards the rest of us. I didn’t pay much attention to Wyatt’s behavior. He was even more gloomy than usual—he was actually quite morose—but I was ready for his eccentricity. As for his sisters, I couldn’t find any excuse. They kept to their staterooms for most of the trip and completely refused, despite my repeated suggestions, to communicate with anyone on board.

Mrs. Wyatt herself was far more agreeable. That is to say, she was chatty; and to be chatty is no slight recommendation at sea. She became excessively intimate with most of the ladies; and, to my profound astonishment, evinced no equivocal disposition to coquet with the men. She amused us all very much. I say “amused”—and scarcely know how to explain myself. The truth is, I soon found that Mrs. W. was far oftener laughed at than with. The gentlemen said little about her; but the ladies, in a little while, pronounced her “a good-hearted thing, rather indifferent looking, totally uneducated, and decidedly vulgar.” The great wonder was, how Wyatt had been entrapped into such a match. Wealth was the general solution—but this I knew to be no solution at all; for Wyatt had told me that she neither brought him a dollar nor had any expectations from any source whatever. “He had married,” he said, “for love, and for love only; and his bride was far more than worthy of his love.” When I thought of these expressions, on the part of my friend, I confess that I felt indescribably puzzled. Could it be possible that he was taking leave of his senses? What else could I think? He, so refined, so intellectual, so fastidious, with so exquisite a perception of the faulty, and so keen an appreciation of the beautiful! To be sure, the lady seemed especially fond of him—particularly so in his absence—when she made herself ridiculous by frequent quotations of what had been said by her “beloved husband, Mr. Wyatt.” The word “husband” seemed forever—to use one of her own delicate expressions—forever “on the tip of her tongue.” In the meantime, it was observed by all on board, that he avoided her in the most pointed manner, and, for the most part, shut himself up alone in his state-room, where, in fact, he might have been said to live altogether, leaving his wife at full liberty to amuse herself as she thought best, in the public society of the main cabin.

Mrs. Wyatt herself was much more pleasant. In other words, she was chatty, and being chatty is definitely a plus at sea. She became quite close with most of the ladies and, to my complete surprise, showed no hesitation in flirting with the men. She entertained us all quite a bit. I say "entertained"—and I’m not sure how to explain it. The reality is, I quickly realized that Mrs. W. was laughed at more often than not. The men didn’t say much about her, but after a while, the women described her as “a good-hearted person, not very good-looking, completely uneducated, and definitely vulgar.” The big mystery was how Wyatt had ended up with her. People mostly assumed it was about money—but I knew that wasn’t the case at all; Wyatt had told me that she didn’t bring him a penny and had no expectations from anywhere. “He married,” he said, “for love, and for love only; and his wife was more than deserving of his love.” When I reflected on these comments from my friend, I honestly felt completely baffled. Could it be that he was losing his mind? What else could I think? He, so refined, so intellectual, so picky, with such a keen awareness of flaws and a sharp appreciation for beauty! Sure, the lady seemed especially fond of him—particularly when he was absent—when she embarrassed herself by frequently quoting what her “beloved husband, Mr. Wyatt” had said. The word “husband” seemed to always be—using one of her own subtle phrases—forever “on the tip of her tongue.” Meanwhile, everyone on board noticed that he was avoiding her as much as possible and mostly shut himself away in his cabin, where, in fact, he practically lived, leaving his wife free to entertain herself however she liked in the public space of the main cabin.

My conclusion, from what I saw and heard, was, that, the artist, by some unaccountable freak of fate, or perhaps in some fit of enthusiastic and fanciful passion, had been induced to unite himself with a person altogether beneath him, and that the natural result, entire and speedy disgust, had ensued. I pitied him from the bottom of my heart—but could not, for that reason, quite forgive his incommunicativeness in the matter of the “Last Supper.” For this I resolved to have my revenge.

My conclusion, based on what I saw and heard, was that the artist, through some strange twist of fate or maybe in a moment of intense and imaginative passion, had ended up with someone completely unworthy of him, and the obvious outcome—total and immediate disgust—followed. I felt for him deeply, but that didn’t mean I could fully excuse his unwillingness to talk about the “Last Supper.” Because of this, I decided to get my revenge.

One day he came upon deck, and, taking his arm as had been my wont, I sauntered with him backward and forward. His gloom, however (which I considered quite natural under the circumstances), seemed entirely unabated. He said little, and that moodily, and with evident effort. I ventured a jest or two, and he made a sickening attempt at a smile. Poor fellow!—as I thought of his wife, I wondered that he could have heart to put on even the semblance of mirth. I determined to commence a series of covert insinuations, or innuendoes, about the oblong box—just to let him perceive, gradually, that I was not altogether the butt, or victim, of his little bit of pleasant mystification. My first observation was by way of opening a masked battery. I said something about the “peculiar shape of that box”; and, as I spoke the words, I smiled knowingly, winked, and touched him gently with my forefinger in the ribs.

One day he came up on deck, and, taking my arm as I usually did, I strolled with him back and forth. His gloom, which I thought was completely understandable given the situation, seemed completely unchanged. He said little, and what he did say was moody and came with obvious effort. I tried to make a joke or two, and he made a sickly attempt at a smile. Poor guy!—as I thought about his wife, I couldn't believe he had the heart to even fake being happy. I decided to start dropping some subtle hints about the oblong box—just to let him slowly realize that I wasn’t completely the target of his little bit of playful mystery. My first remark was like opening a hidden attack. I commented on the “peculiar shape of that box”; and as I said the words, I smiled knowingly, winked, and gently poked him in the ribs with my finger.

The manner in which Wyatt received this harmless pleasantry convinced me, at once, that he was mad. At first he stared at me as if he found it impossible to comprehend the witticism of my remark; but as its point seemed slowly to make its way into his brain, his eyes, in the same proportion, seemed protruding from their sockets. Then he grew very red—then hideously pale—then, as if highly amused with what I had insinuated, he began a loud and boisterous laugh, which, to my astonishment, he kept up, with gradually increasing vigor, for ten minutes or more. In conclusion, he fell flat and heavily upon the deck. When I ran to uplift him, to all appearance he was dead.

The way Wyatt took this harmless joke made me realize right away that he was crazy. At first, he stared at me as if he couldn't understand the humor in what I said; but as he slowly processed the joke, it looked like his eyes were popping out of their sockets. Then he turned bright red—then terribly pale—then, as if he found what I had hinted at really funny, he started laughing loudly and boisterously, and to my surprise, he kept it up with growing intensity for ten minutes or so. In the end, he collapsed flat and heavily onto the deck. When I rushed over to help him, he appeared to be dead.

I called assistance, and, with much difficulty, we brought him to himself. Upon reviving he spoke incoherently for some time. At length we bled him and put him to bed. The next morning he was quite recovered, so far as regarded his mere bodily health. Of his mind I say nothing, of course. I avoided him during the rest of the passage, by advice of the captain, who seemed to coincide with me altogether in my views of his insanity, but cautioned me to say nothing on this head to any person on board.

I called for help, and after a lot of struggle, we managed to bring him back to his senses. When he came to, he spoke nonsensically for a while. Eventually, we bled him and put him to bed. The next morning, he was completely recovered in terms of his physical health. I won’t comment on his mental state, of course. I stayed away from him for the rest of the journey, following the captain’s advice, who seemed to fully agree with my thoughts about his madness but warned me not to mention it to anyone on board.

Several circumstances occurred immediately after this fit of Wyatt which contributed to heighten the curiosity with which I was already possessed. Among other things, this: I had been nervous—drank too much strong green tea, and slept ill at night—in fact, for two nights I could not be properly said to sleep at all. Now, my state-room opened into the main cabin, or dining-room, as did those of all the single men on board. Wyatt’s three rooms were in the after-cabin, which was separated from the main one by a slight sliding door, never locked even at night. As we were almost constantly on a wind, and the breeze was not a little stiff, the ship heeled to leeward very considerably; and whenever her starboard side was to leeward, the sliding door between the cabins slid open, and so remained, nobody taking the trouble to get up and shut it. But my berth was in such a position, that when my own state-room door was open, as well as the sliding door in question (and my own door was always open on account of the heat,) I could see into the after-cabin quite distinctly, and just at that portion of it, too, where were situated the state-rooms of Mr. Wyatt. Well, during two nights (not consecutive) while I lay awake, I clearly saw Mrs. W., about eleven o’clock upon each night, steal cautiously from the state-room of Mr. W., and enter the extra room, where she remained until daybreak, when she was called by her husband and went back. That they were virtually separated was clear. They had separate apartments—no doubt in contemplation of a more permanent divorce; and here, after all I thought was the mystery of the extra state-room.

Several things happened right after Wyatt's episode that only deepened my existing curiosity. For one, I had been feeling anxious—thanks to too much strong green tea and poor sleep for two nights straight; I couldn't really say I had slept at all. My room opened into the main cabin, or dining room, like all the single men's rooms on board. Wyatt's three rooms were in the back cabin, separated from the main one by a slight sliding door that was never locked, even at night. We were almost always sailing into the wind, and the breeze was pretty strong, causing the ship to lean quite a bit to the side. Whenever the starboard side was downwind, the sliding door between the cabins would open and stay that way, with nobody bothering to get up to close it. My bed was positioned in such a way that when my door was open, as well as the sliding door, which I left open because of the heat, I could see clearly into the back cabin, right where Mr. Wyatt's rooms were located. Well, during two nights (not in a row) while I was awake, I saw Mrs. W. sneak out of Mr. W.'s room around eleven o'clock each night and enter the extra room, where she stayed until dawn when her husband called for her and she went back. It was clear they were practically separated. They had their own rooms—likely in anticipation of a more permanent divorce; and I thought that was the mystery behind the extra state-room.

There was another circumstance, too, which interested me much. During the two wakeful nights in question, and immediately after the disappearance of Mrs. Wyatt into the extra state-room, I was attracted by certain singular cautious, subdued noises in that of her husband. After listening to them for some time, with thoughtful attention, I at length succeeded perfectly in translating their import. They were sounds occasioned by the artist in prying open the oblong box, by means of a chisel and mallet—the latter being apparently muffled, or deadened, by some soft woollen or cotton substance in which its head was enveloped.

There was another thing that caught my attention. During the two sleepless nights in question, right after Mrs. Wyatt went into the extra state-room, I noticed some strange, cautious, low sounds coming from her husband's room. After listening to them for a while, I was finally able to figure out what they meant. They were the sounds of the artist trying to pry open the oblong box with a chisel and mallet—the mallet seemed to be muffled or softened by some kind of wool or cotton material wrapping its head.

In this manner I fancied I could distinguish the precise moment when he fairly disengaged the lid—also, that I could determine when he removed it altogether, and when he deposited it upon the lower berth in his room; this latter point I knew, for example, by certain slight taps which the lid made in striking against the wooden edges of the berth, as he endeavored to lay it down very gently—there being no room for it on the floor. After this there was a dead stillness, and I heard nothing more, upon either occasion, until nearly daybreak; unless, perhaps, I may mention a low sobbing, or murmuring sound, so very much suppressed as to be nearly inaudible—if, indeed, the whole of this latter noise were not rather produced by my own imagination. I say it seemed to resemble sobbing or sighing—but, of course, it could not have been either. I rather think it was a ringing in my own ears. Mr. Wyatt, no doubt, according to custom, was merely giving the rein to one of his hobbies—indulging in one of his fits of artistic enthusiasm. He had opened his oblong box, in order to feast his eyes on the pictorial treasure within. There was nothing in this, however, to make him sob. I repeat, therefore, that it must have been simply a freak of my own fancy, distempered by good Captain Hardy’s green tea. Just before dawn, on each of the two nights of which I speak, I distinctly heard Mr. Wyatt replace the lid upon the oblong box, and force the nails into their old places by means of the muffled mallet. Having done this, he issued from his state-room, fully dressed, and proceeded to call Mrs. W. from hers.

I thought I could tell the exact moment he lifted the lid—also when he took it off completely and put it down on the lower berth in his room. I knew this latter point because of the soft taps the lid made hitting the wooden edges of the berth as he tried to set it down gently—there wasn’t enough space for it on the floor. After that, there was complete silence, and I didn’t hear anything else until almost dawn—unless, perhaps, I should mention a faint sobbing or murmuring sound that was so quiet it was nearly inaudible—if, in fact, that noise was more a product of my imagination. It sounded like sobbing or sighing—but it obviously couldn't have been. I think it was just a ringing in my ears. Mr. Wyatt was probably just indulging one of his hobbies as usual—getting lost in one of his artistic moments. He had opened his oblong box to admire the visual treasure inside. There was nothing in that to make him cry. So, I conclude that it must have just been a flight of my imagination, fueled by Captain Hardy’s green tea. Just before dawn on each of those two nights, I clearly heard Mr. Wyatt putting the lid back on the oblong box and pushing the nails into place with a muffled mallet. Once he did this, he left his cabin, fully dressed, and went to call Mrs. W. from hers.

We had been at sea seven days, and were now off Cape Hatteras, when there came a tremendously heavy blow from the southwest. We were, in a measure, prepared for it, however, as the weather had been holding out threats for some time. Every thing was made snug, alow and aloft; and as the wind steadily freshened, we lay to, at length, under spanker and foretopsail, both double-reefed.

We had been at sea for seven days and were now off Cape Hatteras when a massive storm hit from the southwest. We were somewhat ready for it since the weather had been hinting at trouble for a while. Everything was secured, both below and above; and as the wind kept picking up, we finally hove to under the spanker and foretopsail, both double-reefed.

In this trim we rode safely enough for forty-eight hours—the ship proving herself an excellent sea-boat in many respects, and shipping no water of any consequence. At the end of this period, however, the gale had freshened into a hurricane, and our after-sail split into ribbons, bringing us so much in the trough of the water that we shipped several prodigious seas, one immediately after the other. By this accident we lost three men overboard with the caboose, and nearly the whole of the larboard bulwarks. Scarcely had we recovered our senses, before the foretopsail went into shreds, when we got up a storm stay-sail and with this did pretty well for some hours, the ship heading the sea much more steadily than before.

In this condition, we sailed safely for forty-eight hours—the ship proving to be a great sea vessel in many ways and taking on very little water. However, after this time, the storm escalated into a hurricane, and our after-sail tore to shreds, leaving us so low in the water that we took on several massive waves, one right after the other. Because of this, we lost three men overboard along with the caboose, and nearly all of the left bulwarks. Just as we were starting to regain our composure, the foretopsail ripped apart. We managed to set up a storm stay-sail, which allowed us to do quite well for several hours, with the ship navigating the waves much more steadily than before.

The gale still held on, however, and we saw no signs of its abating. The rigging was found to be ill-fitted, and greatly strained; and on the third day of the blow, about five in the afternoon, our mizzen-mast, in a heavy lurch to windward, went by the board. For an hour or more, we tried in vain to get rid of it, on account of the prodigious rolling of the ship; and, before we had succeeded, the carpenter came aft and announced four feet of water in the hold. To add to our dilemma, we found the pumps choked and nearly useless.

The strong wind continued, showing no signs of letting up. The rigging was poorly fitted and heavily strained. On the third day of the storm, around five in the afternoon, our mizzen-mast came crashing down in a violent lurch to the side. For over an hour, we struggled to get rid of it, battling the ship's intense rolling. Just as we managed to detach it, the carpenter came back and reported that there were four feet of water in the hold. To make matters worse, the pumps were clogged and almost useless.

All was now confusion and despair—but an effort was made to lighten the ship by throwing overboard as much of her cargo as could be reached, and by cutting away the two masts that remained. This we at last accomplished—but we were still unable to do any thing at the pumps; and, in the meantime, the leak gained on us very fast.

All was now chaos and despair—but we tried to lighten the ship by throwing overboard as much of the cargo as we could reach, and by cutting away the two masts that were left. We finally managed to do that—but we still couldn't get to the pumps; meanwhile, the leak was increasing rapidly.

At sundown, the gale had sensibly diminished in violence, and as the sea went down with it, we still entertained faint hopes of saving ourselves in the boats. At eight P. M., the clouds broke away to windward, and we had the advantage of a full moon—a piece of good fortune which served wonderfully to cheer our drooping spirits.

At sunset, the strong wind had noticeably lessened, and as the sea calmed down, we still held onto slight hopes of escaping in the boats. By 8 PM, the clouds cleared to the west, and we were blessed with a full moon—a stroke of luck that really lifted our spirits.

After incredible labor we succeeded, at length, in getting the longboat over the side without material accident, and into this we crowded the whole of the crew and most of the passengers. This party made off immediately, and, after undergoing much suffering, finally arrived, in safety, at Ocracoke Inlet, on the third day after the wreck.

After a lot of hard work, we finally managed to get the longboat over the side without any serious accidents, and into it, we packed the entire crew and most of the passengers. This group left right away and, after enduring quite a bit of hardship, eventually made it safely to Ocracoke Inlet on the third day after the wreck.

Fourteen passengers, with the captain, remained on board, resolving to trust their fortunes to the jolly-boat at the stern. We lowered it without difficulty, although it was only by a miracle that we prevented it from swamping as it touched the water. It contained, when afloat, the captain and his wife, Mr. Wyatt and party, a Mexican officer, wife, four children, and myself, with a negro valet.

Fourteen passengers, along with the captain, stayed on board, deciding to gamble on their fate with the lifeboat at the back. We lowered it without any issues, although it was only by luck that we managed to keep it from capsizing as it hit the water. Once it was floating, it had the captain and his wife, Mr. Wyatt and his group, a Mexican officer and his wife, their four kids, myself, and a black valet.

We had no room, of course, for any thing except a few positively necessary instruments, some provisions, and the clothes upon our backs. No one had thought of even attempting to save any thing more. What must have been the astonishment of all, then, when having proceeded a few fathoms from the ship, Mr. Wyatt stood up in the stern-sheets, and coolly demanded of Captain Hardy that the boat should be put back for the purpose of taking in his oblong box!

We obviously had no space for anything except a few essential tools, some food, and the clothes on our backs. No one even considered trying to save anything else. So, everyone must have been shocked when, a short distance from the ship, Mr. Wyatt stood up at the back of the boat and calmly asked Captain Hardy to turn the boat around to pick up his rectangular box!

“Sit down, Mr. Wyatt,” replied the captain, somewhat sternly, “you will capsize us if you do not sit quite still. Our gunwhale is almost in the water now.”

“Sit down, Mr. Wyatt,” the captain said somewhat sternly, “you'll tip us over if you don’t sit completely still. Our gunwale is almost in the water now.”

“The box!” vociferated Mr. Wyatt, still standing—“the box, I say! Captain Hardy, you cannot, you will not refuse me. Its weight will be but a trifle—it is nothing—mere nothing. By the mother who bore you—for the love of Heaven—by your hope of salvation, I implore you to put back for the box!”

“The box!” shouted Mr. Wyatt, still standing—“the box, I’m telling you! Captain Hardy, you can’t, you won’t refuse me. Its weight will be just a little—it’s nothing—just nothing. By the mother who gave you life—for the love of Heaven—by your hope for salvation, I beg you to turn back for the box!”

The captain, for a moment, seemed touched by the earnest appeal of the artist, but he regained his stern composure, and merely said:

The captain, for a moment, appeared moved by the artist's sincere request, but he quickly regained his serious demeanor and simply said:

“Mr. Wyatt, you are mad. I cannot listen to you. Sit down, I say, or you will swamp the boat. Stay—hold him—seize him!—he is about to spring overboard! There—I knew it—he is over!”

“Mr. Wyatt, you're crazy. I can't listen to you. Sit down, I tell you, or you'll capsize the boat. Stay—hold him—grab him!—he's about to jump overboard! There—I knew it—he's gone!”

As the captain said this, Mr. Wyatt, in fact, sprang from the boat, and, as we were yet in the lee of the wreck, succeeded, by almost superhuman exertion, in getting hold of a rope which hung from the fore-chains. In another moment he was on board, and rushing frantically down into the cabin.

As the captain said this, Mr. Wyatt actually jumped from the boat and, while we were still sheltered from the wreck, managed, with almost superhuman effort, to grab a rope hanging from the fore-chains. In no time, he was on board and frantically rushing down into the cabin.

In the meantime, we had been swept astern of the ship, and being quite out of her lee, were at the mercy of the tremendous sea which was still running. We made a determined effort to put back, but our little boat was like a feather in the breath of the tempest. We saw at a glance that the doom of the unfortunate artist was sealed.

In the meantime, we had been pushed behind the ship, and since we were completely out of her shelter, we were at the mercy of the huge waves that were still crashing. We made a strong attempt to return, but our small boat felt like a feather in the force of the storm. We realized instantly that the fate of the unfortunate artist was sealed.

As our distance from the wreck rapidly increased, the madman (for as such only could we regard him) was seen to emerge from the companion—way, up which by dint of strength that appeared gigantic, he dragged, bodily, the oblong box. While we gazed in the extremity of astonishment, he passed, rapidly, several turns of a three-inch rope, first around the box and then around his body. In another instant both body and box were in the sea—disappearing suddenly, at once and forever.

As we quickly moved away from the wreck, the madman (that’s how we could only see him) came out from the companionway, pulling the rectangular box with what seemed like incredible strength. While we watched in shock, he swiftly wrapped several loops of a three-inch rope around the box and then around himself. In a flash, both he and the box plunged into the sea—vanishing suddenly, just like that, for good.

We lingered awhile sadly upon our oars, with our eyes riveted upon the spot. At length we pulled away. The silence remained unbroken for an hour. Finally, I hazarded a remark.

We paused for a moment, feeling sad as we stared at the spot. Eventually, we started rowing again. The silence lasted for an hour. Finally, I took a chance and said something.

“Did you observe, captain, how suddenly they sank? Was not that an exceedingly singular thing? I confess that I entertained some feeble hope of his final deliverance, when I saw him lash himself to the box, and commit himself to the sea.”

“Did you notice, captain, how quickly they sank? Wasn’t that really unusual? I admit that I had some small hope for his rescue when I saw him tie himself to the box and throw himself into the sea.”

“They sank as a matter of course,” replied the captain, “and that like a shot. They will soon rise again, however—but not till the salt melts.”

“They sank naturally,” replied the captain, “and just like a shot. They’ll rise again soon, though—not until the salt melts.”

“The salt!” I ejaculated.

“The salt!” I shouted.

“Hush!” said the captain, pointing to the wife and sisters of the deceased. “We must talk of these things at some more appropriate time.”

“Hush!” said the captain, pointing to the wife and sisters of the deceased. “We should discuss these things at a more appropriate time.”


We suffered much, and made a narrow escape; but fortune befriended us, as well as our mates in the long-boat. We landed, in fine, more dead than alive, after four days of intense distress, upon the beach opposite Roanoke Island. We remained here a week, were not ill-treated by the wreckers, and at length obtained a passage to New York.

We went through a lot and barely escaped; but luck was on our side, along with our friends in the lifeboat. In the end, we reached the beach across from Roanoke Island more dead than alive, after four days of intense suffering. We stayed there for a week, were not mistreated by the wreckers, and eventually got a ride to New York.

About a month after the loss of the “Independence,” I happened to meet Captain Hardy in Broadway. Our conversation turned, naturally, upon the disaster, and especially upon the sad fate of poor Wyatt. I thus learned the following particulars.

About a month after the loss of the “Independence,” I ran into Captain Hardy on Broadway. Our conversation naturally shifted to the disaster, especially the unfortunate fate of poor Wyatt. This is how I learned the following details.

The artist had engaged passage for himself, wife, two sisters and a servant. His wife was, indeed, as she had been represented, a most lovely, and most accomplished woman. On the morning of the fourteenth of June (the day in which I first visited the ship), the lady suddenly sickened and died. The young husband was frantic with grief—but circumstances imperatively forbade the deferring his voyage to New York. It was necessary to take to her mother the corpse of his adored wife, and, on the other hand, the universal prejudice which would prevent his doing so openly was well known. Nine-tenths of the passengers would have abandoned the ship rather than take passage with a dead body.

The artist had booked passage for himself, his wife, two sisters, and a servant. His wife was, as described, an incredibly beautiful and talented woman. On the morning of June 14th (the day I first visited the ship), she unexpectedly fell ill and died. The young husband was heartbroken with grief—but he couldn’t delay his trip to New York. He needed to take the body of his beloved wife to her mother, but he also knew that almost all the passengers would refuse to travel with a dead body.

In this dilemma, Captain Hardy arranged that the corpse, being first partially embalmed, and packed, with a large quantity of salt, in a box of suitable dimensions, should be conveyed on board as merchandise. Nothing was to be said of the lady’s decease; and, as it was well understood that Mr. Wyatt had engaged passage for his wife, it became necessary that some person should personate her during the voyage. This the deceased lady’s-maid was easily prevailed on to do. The extra state-room, originally engaged for this girl during her mistress’ life, was now merely retained. In this state-room the pseudo-wife, slept, of course, every night. In the daytime she performed, to the best of her ability, the part of her mistress—whose person, it had been carefully ascertained, was unknown to any of the passengers on board.

In this tricky situation, Captain Hardy decided that the body, first partially embalmed and packed with a lot of salt in a suitably sized box, should be transported on board as merchandise. No mention was to be made of the lady’s death; since it was well known that Mr. Wyatt had booked a ticket for his wife, someone needed to impersonate her during the journey. The deceased lady's maid was easily convinced to take on this role. The extra state room, initially reserved for the girl during her mistress's lifetime, was now simply kept for her use. In this state room, the fake wife slept every night. During the day, she did her best to act like her mistress, whose appearance had been carefully checked to ensure no passengers on board recognized her.

My own mistake arose, naturally enough, through too careless, too inquisitive, and too impulsive a temperament. But of late, it is a rare thing that I sleep soundly at night. There is a countenance which haunts me, turn as I will. There is an hysterical laugh which will forever ring within my ears.

My mistake happened, of course, because I was too careless, too curious, and too impulsive. Lately, it's become rare for me to sleep soundly at night. There's a face that haunts me, no matter where I turn. There's a hysterical laugh that keeps echoing in my ears.

LOSS OF BREATH

O breathe not, etc.
                    —Moore’s Melodies

O breathe not, etc. —Moore’s *Melodies*

The most notorious ill-fortune must in the end yield to the untiring courage of philosophy—as the most stubborn city to the ceaseless vigilance of an enemy. Shalmanezer, as we have it in holy writings, lay three years before Samaria; yet it fell. Sardanapalus—see Diodorus—maintained himself seven in Nineveh; but to no purpose. Troy expired at the close of the second lustrum; and Azoth, as Aristaeus declares upon his honour as a gentleman, opened at last her gates to Psammetichus, after having barred them for the fifth part of a century....

The worst misfortunes eventually give way to the relentless courage of philosophy—just like the most stubborn city eventually succumbs to the constant vigilance of an enemy. Shalmanezer, as noted in sacred texts, besieged Samaria for three years; yet it still fell. Sardanapalus—refer to Diodorus—held out for seven years in Nineveh, but to no avail. Troy fell at the end of the second lustrum; and Azoth, as Aristaeus swears on his honor, finally opened her gates to Psammetichus after keeping them shut for twenty-five years...

“Thou wretch!—thou vixen!—thou shrew!” said I to my wife on the morning after our wedding; “thou witch!—thou hag!—thou whippersnapper—thou sink of iniquity!—thou fiery-faced quintessence of all that is abominable!—thou—thou—” here standing upon tiptoe, seizing her by the throat, and placing my mouth close to her ear, I was preparing to launch forth a new and more decided epithet of opprobrium, which should not fail, if ejaculated, to convince her of her insignificance, when to my extreme horror and astonishment I discovered that I had lost my breath.

“You miserable person!—you cunning woman!—you nag!” I said to my wife on the morning after our wedding; “you witch!—you hag!—you little brat—you're a pit of wickedness!—you are the very essence of everything that's terrible!—you— you—” here standing on tiptoe, grabbing her by the throat, and leaning in close to her ear, I was getting ready to unleash a new and stronger insult that would surely make her realize how insignificant she was, when to my shock and horror, I found out that I had lost my breath.

The phrases “I am out of breath,” “I have lost my breath,” etc., are often enough repeated in common conversation; but it had never occurred to me that the terrible accident of which I speak could bona fide and actually happen! Imagine—that is if you have a fanciful turn—imagine, I say, my wonder—my consternation—my despair!

The phrases “I’m out of breath,” “I’ve lost my breath,” and so on, are often used in everyday conversation; but it never crossed my mind that the terrible accident I’m talking about could actually happen for real! Just picture it—if you have a vivid imagination—imagine, I say, my astonishment—my shock—my hopelessness!

There is a good genius, however, which has never entirely deserted me. In my most ungovernable moods I still retain a sense of propriety, et le chemin des passions me conduit—as Lord Edouard in the “Julie” says it did him—à la philosophie véritable.

There is a good spark of genius, though, that has never completely left me. In my most uncontrollable moods, I still have a sense of what’s proper, and the path of passions leads me—as Lord Edouard says in the “Julie”—to true philosophy.

Although I could not at first precisely ascertain to what degree the occurrence had affected me, I determined at all events to conceal the matter from my wife, until further experience should discover to me the extent of this my unheard of calamity. Altering my countenance, therefore, in a moment, from its bepuffed and distorted appearance, to an expression of arch and coquettish benignity, I gave my lady a pat on the one cheek, and a kiss on the other, and without saying one syllable (Furies! I could not), left her astonished at my drollery, as I pirouetted out of the room in a pas de zephyr.

Although I couldn't initially determine how much the situation had impacted me, I decided to keep it from my wife until I could figure out just how serious this unusual disaster was. So, quickly changing my face from its swollen and twisted look to one of playful charm, I gave her a pat on one cheek and a kiss on the other, and without saying a word (oh, how I wished I could), I left her surprised by my antics as I twirled out of the room in a pas de zephyr.

Behold me then safely ensconced in my private boudoir, a fearful instance of the ill consequences attending upon irascibility—alive, with the qualifications of the dead—dead, with the propensities of the living—an anomaly on the face of the earth—being very calm, yet breathless.

Here I am, comfortably settled in my private room, a prime example of the bad outcomes that come from being easily angered—alive, yet feeling like a ghost—dead, but still having the desires of the living—an oddity in the world—calm, yet breathless.

Yes! breathless. I am serious in asserting that my breath was entirely gone. I could not have stirred with it a feather if my life had been at issue, or sullied even the delicacy of a mirror. Hard fate!—yet there was some alleviation to the first overwhelming paroxysm of my sorrow. I found, upon trial, that the powers of utterance which, upon my inability to proceed in the conversation with my wife, I then concluded to be totally destroyed, were in fact only partially impeded, and I discovered that had I, at that interesting crisis, dropped my voice to a singularly deep guttural, I might still have continued to her the communication of my sentiments; this pitch of voice (the guttural) depending, I find, not upon the current of the breath, but upon a certain spasmodic action of the muscles of the throat.

Yes! Breathless. I’m serious when I say that I was completely out of breath. I couldn't even have moved a feather if my life depended on it, nor could I have disturbed the delicate surface of a mirror. What a tough situation! Still, there was some relief from the initial overwhelming wave of my sadness. I found out, upon trying, that the ability to speak which I thought was totally gone during my inability to continue the conversation with my wife, was actually only partially blocked. I realized that if I had, at that crucial moment, lowered my voice to a uniquely deep guttural tone, I could have still expressed my feelings to her; this deep voice (the guttural) depends, I found, not on the flow of breath, but on a certain spasm of the throat muscles.

Throwing myself upon a chair, I remained for some time absorbed in meditation. My reflections, be sure, were of no consolatory kind. A thousand vague and lachrymatory fancies took possession of my soul—and even the idea of suicide flitted across my brain; but it is a trait in the perversity of human nature to reject the obvious and the ready, for the far-distant and equivocal. Thus I shuddered at self-murder as the most decided of atrocities while the tabby cat purred strenuously upon the rug, and the very water-dog wheezed assiduously under the table, each taking to itself much merit for the strength of its lungs, and all obviously done in derision of my own pulmonary incapacity.

I threw myself into a chair and sat there for a while lost in thought. My reflections were definitely not comforting. A thousand vague and sorrowful thoughts overwhelmed me—even the idea of suicide crossed my mind; but it’s a quirk of human nature to turn away from easy solutions in favor of distant and unclear ones. So, I recoiled from the idea of suicide as the worst of crimes, while the tabby cat purred loudly on the rug, and the water dog wheezed insistently under the table, each taking pride in their loudness, clearly mocking my own lack of breath.

Oppressed with a tumult of vague hopes and fears, I at length heard the footsteps of my wife descending the staircase. Being now assured of her absence, I returned with a palpitating heart to the scene of my disaster.

Overwhelmed by a mix of unclear hopes and fears, I finally heard my wife's footsteps coming down the stairs. Now sure that she was not around, I went back to the place where I had faced my disaster, my heart racing.

Carefully locking the door on the inside, I commenced a vigorous search. It was possible, I thought, that, concealed in some obscure corner, or lurking in some closet or drawer, might be found the lost object of my inquiry. It might have a vapory—it might even have a tangible form. Most philosophers, upon many points of philosophy, are still very unphilosophical. William Godwin, however, says in his “Mandeville,” that “invisible things are the only realities,” and this, all will allow, is a case in point. I would have the judicious reader pause before accusing such asseverations of an undue quantum of absurdity. Anaxagoras, it will be remembered, maintained that snow is black, and this I have since found to be the case.

Carefully locking the door from the inside, I started a thorough search. I thought it was possible that the object I was looking for could be hiding in some obscure corner or tucked away in a closet or drawer. It could have a ghostly presence or even a physical form. Many philosophers, on several philosophical issues, still aren’t very philosophical. However, William Godwin mentions in his “Mandeville” that “invisible things are the only realities,” and this is definitely relevant here. I encourage the thoughtful reader to take a moment before labeling such statements as overly absurd. Anaxagoras, as we know, claimed that snow is black, and I have since found that to be true.

Long and earnestly did I continue the investigation: but the contemptible reward of my industry and perseverance proved to be only a set of false teeth, two pair of hips, an eye, and a bundle of billets-doux from Mr. Windenough to my wife. I might as well here observe that this confirmation of my lady’s partiality for Mr. W. occasioned me little uneasiness. That Mrs. Lackobreath should admire anything so dissimilar to myself was a natural and necessary evil. I am, it is well known, of a robust and corpulent appearance, and at the same time somewhat diminutive in stature. What wonder, then, that the lath-like tenuity of my acquaintance, and his altitude, which has grown into a proverb, should have met with all due estimation in the eyes of Mrs. Lackobreath. But to return.

I diligently continued my investigation, but the disappointing result of my effort and determination turned out to be just a set of false teeth, two pairs of hips, an eye, and a bunch of love letters from Mr. Windenough to my wife. I should note here that this evidence of my lady's affection for Mr. W. didn’t trouble me much. It was only natural and unfortunate that Mrs. Lackobreath would admire someone so different from me. As everyone knows, I have a strong, heavy build, while I'm also a bit on the short side. So, it makes sense that the tall, skinny nature of my friend, which has become a running joke, would impress Mrs. Lackobreath. But let's get back to the point.

My exertions, as I have before said, proved fruitless. Closet after closet—drawer after drawer—corner after corner—were scrutinized to no purpose. At one time, however, I thought myself sure of my prize, having, in rummaging a dressing-case, accidentally demolished a bottle of Grandjean’s Oil of Archangels—which, as an agreeable perfume, I here take the liberty of recommending.

My efforts, as I mentioned before, turned out to be useless. I searched through every closet, every drawer, and every corner with no success. At one point, I was convinced I had found what I was looking for after accidentally breaking a bottle of Grandjean’s Oil of Archangels while going through a dressing case—which I have to say is a lovely fragrance, and I recommend it.

With a heavy heart I returned to my boudoir—there to ponder upon some method of eluding my wife’s penetration, until I could make arrangements prior to my leaving the country, for to this I had already made up my mind. In a foreign climate, being unknown, I might, with some probability of success, endeavor to conceal my unhappy calamity—a calamity calculated, even more than beggary, to estrange the affections of the multitude, and to draw down upon the wretch the well-merited indignation of the virtuous and the happy. I was not long in hesitation. Being naturally quick, I committed to memory the entire tragedy of “Metamora.” I had the good fortune to recollect that in the accentuation of this drama, or at least of such portion of it as is allotted to the hero, the tones of voice in which I found myself deficient were altogether unnecessary, and the deep guttural was expected to reign monotonously throughout.

With a heavy heart, I went back to my room—there to think of a way to avoid my wife's probing questions until I could make arrangements before leaving the country, which I had already decided to do. In a foreign place, being unknown, I might have a good chance of hiding my unfortunate situation—a situation likely to turn people against me even more than poverty would and to earn the well-deserved anger of the virtuous and happy. I didn't hesitate for long. Being naturally quick, I memorized the entire play "Metamora." I was fortunate to remember that for this drama, or at least the parts designated for the hero, the tone of voice I lacked was completely unnecessary, and a monotonous deep voice was expected throughout.

I practised for some time by the borders of a well frequented marsh;—herein, however, having no reference to a similar proceeding of Demosthenes, but from a design peculiarly and conscientiously my own. Thus armed at all points, I determined to make my wife believe that I was suddenly smitten with a passion for the stage. In this, I succeeded to a miracle; and to every question or suggestion found myself at liberty to reply in my most frog-like and sepulchral tones with some passage from the tragedy—any portion of which, as I soon took great pleasure in observing, would apply equally well to any particular subject. It is not to be supposed, however, that in the delivery of such passages I was found at all deficient in the looking asquint—the showing my teeth—the working my knees—the shuffling my feet—or in any of those unmentionable graces which are now justly considered the characteristics of a popular performer. To be sure they spoke of confining me in a strait-jacket—but, good God! they never suspected me of having lost my breath.

I practiced for a while by the edge of a busy marsh; this, however, wasn’t based on anything Demosthenes did, but rather a plan that was entirely my own. With this strategy in place, I decided to convince my wife that I had suddenly developed a passion for acting. Amazingly, I succeeded; to every question or suggestion, I found I could respond in my most croaky and dramatic tones with lines from a tragedy—any part of which, as I quickly enjoyed noticing, fit any topic perfectly. It’s not to be thought, though, that I was lacking in all the quirks—like rolling my eyes, showing my teeth, bending my knees, shuffling my feet, or any of those odd charms that are now rightly seen as signs of a popular performer. Sure, they talked about putting me in a straitjacket—but, good grief! They never guessed I was holding my breath.

Having at length put my affairs in order, I took my seat very early one morning in the mail stage for ——, giving it to be understood, among my acquaintances, that business of the last importance required my immediate personal attendance in that city.

Having finally sorted out my affairs, I took my seat early one morning on the mail coach to ——, letting my acquaintances know that an important business matter required my immediate presence in that city.

The coach was crammed to repletion; but in the uncertain twilight the features of my companions could not be distinguished. Without making any effectual resistance, I suffered myself to be placed between two gentlemen of colossal dimensions; while a third, of a size larger, requesting pardon for the liberty he was about to take, threw himself upon my body at full length, and falling asleep in an instant, drowned all my guttural ejaculations for relief, in a snore which would have put to blush the roarings of the bull of Phalaris. Happily the state of my respiratory faculties rendered suffocation an accident entirely out of the question.

The coach was packed to the brim, but in the dim light of twilight, I couldn’t make out the faces of my fellow passengers. Without resisting much, I allowed myself to be squeezed between two very large gentlemen. Meanwhile, a third guy, even bigger, asked for forgiveness for the space he was about to take and flopped down on me, instantly falling asleep. His snoring was so loud it would have embarrassed the roar of the bull of Phalaris. Luckily, my breathing abilities meant that choking was not a concern at all.

As, however, the day broke more distinctly in our approach to the outskirts of the city, my tormentor, arising and adjusting his shirt-collar, thanked me in a very friendly manner for my civility. Seeing that I remained motionless (all my limbs were dislocated and my head twisted on one side), his apprehensions began to be excited; and arousing the rest of the passengers, he communicated, in a very decided manner, his opinion that a dead man had been palmed upon them during the night for a living and responsible fellow-traveller; here giving me a thump on the right eye, by way of demonstrating the truth of his suggestion.

As the day began to break more clearly as we got closer to the city outskirts, my tormentor got up and adjusted his shirt collar, thanking me in a very friendly way for my politeness. Noticing that I stayed completely still (all my limbs felt out of place and my head was tilted to one side), he started to get worried; and waking up the other passengers, he firmly stated his belief that a dead man had been passed off as a living and responsible travel companion during the night, giving me a punch in the right eye to prove his point.

Hereupon all, one after another (there were nine in company), believed it their duty to pull me by the ear. A young practising physician, too, having applied a pocket-mirror to my mouth, and found me without breath, the assertion of my persecutor was pronounced a true bill; and the whole party expressed a determination to endure tamely no such impositions for the future, and to proceed no farther with any such carcasses for the present.

Here, one by one (there were nine of them), felt it was their duty to pull me by the ear. A young practicing doctor, after holding a pocket mirror to my mouth and finding I wasn’t breathing, confirmed that my accuser was right; and the whole group decided they wouldn't put up with any more of this nonsense in the future and that they wouldn’t deal with any more of these dead bodies for now.

I was here, accordingly, thrown out at the sign of the “Crow” (by which tavern the coach happened to be passing), without meeting with any farther accident than the breaking of both my arms, under the left hind wheel of the vehicle. I must besides do the driver the justice to state that he did not forget to throw after me the largest of my trunks, which, unfortunately falling on my head, fractured my skull in a manner at once interesting and extraordinary.

I was tossed out here at the sight of the "Crow" (the tavern the coach was passing by), with nothing worse happening than both my arms getting broken under the left back wheel of the coach. I also have to give the driver some credit for remembering to throw out my biggest trunk, which, unfortunately, landed on my head and fractured my skull in a way that was both interesting and extraordinary.

The landlord of the “Crow,” who is a hospitable man, finding that my trunk contained sufficient to indemnify him for any little trouble he might take in my behalf, sent forthwith for a surgeon of his acquaintance, and delivered me to his care with a bill and receipt for ten dollars.

The landlord of the “Crow,” who is a friendly guy, seeing that my trunk had enough to cover any little trouble he might go through for me, quickly called a surgeon he knew and handed me over to him along with a bill and receipt for ten dollars.

The purchaser took me to his apartments and commenced operations immediately. Having cut off my ears, however, he discovered signs of animation. He now rang the bell, and sent for a neighboring apothecary with whom to consult in the emergency. In case of his suspicions with regard to my existence proving ultimately correct, he, in the meantime, made an incision in my stomach, and removed several of my viscera for private dissection.

The buyer took me to his place and got started right away. After cutting off my ears, though, he noticed I was still alive. He rang the bell and called for a nearby pharmacist to help in this situation. Just in case his doubts about whether I was still breathing turned out to be true, he made a cut in my stomach and took out some of my organs for his private study.

The apothecary had an idea that I was actually dead. This idea I endeavored to confute, kicking and plunging with all my might, and making the most furious contortions—for the operations of the surgeon had, in a measure, restored me to the possession of my faculties. All, however, was attributed to the effects of a new galvanic battery, wherewith the apothecary, who is really a man of information, performed several curious experiments, in which, from my personal share in their fulfillment, I could not help feeling deeply interested. It was a course of mortification to me, nevertheless, that although I made several attempts at conversation, my powers of speech were so entirely in abeyance, that I could not even open my mouth; much less, then, make reply to some ingenious but fanciful theories of which, under other circumstances, my minute acquaintance with the Hippocratian pathology would have afforded me a ready confutation.

The apothecary thought I was actually dead. I tried to prove him wrong by kicking and struggling with all my strength, causing the most frantic movements—since the surgeon’s work had somewhat restored my ability to think. However, everything was attributed to the effects of a new galvanic battery that the apothecary, who is quite knowledgeable, used to conduct several interesting experiments. I couldn’t help but feel really invested since I was personally involved in them. Still, it was frustrating for me that even though I made several attempts to speak, I couldn’t open my mouth at all; let alone respond to some clever but fanciful theories that, under different circumstances, my detailed understanding of Hippocratic medicine would have easily allowed me to refute.

Not being able to arrive at a conclusion, the practitioners remanded me for farther examination. I was taken up into a garret; and the surgeon’s lady having accommodated me with drawers and stockings, the surgeon himself fastened my hands, and tied up my jaws with a pocket-handkerchief—then bolted the door on the outside as he hurried to his dinner, leaving me alone to silence and to meditation.

Not being able to reach a conclusion, the doctors sent me back for further examination. I was taken up to an attic; and the surgeon’s wife provided me with some drawers and stockings. The surgeon himself tied my hands and gagged me with a handkerchief—then he locked the door from the outside as he rushed off to dinner, leaving me alone in silence to think.

I now discovered to my extreme delight that I could have spoken had not my mouth been tied up with the pocket-handkerchief. Consoling myself with this reflection, I was mentally repeating some passages of the “Omnipresence of the Deity,” as is my custom before resigning myself to sleep, when two cats, of a greedy and vituperative turn, entering at a hole in the wall, leaped up with a flourish a la Catalani, and alighting opposite one another on my visage, betook themselves to indecorous contention for the paltry consideration of my nose.

I was really happy to realize that I could have spoken if my mouth hadn't been covered with a handkerchief. Trying to comfort myself with this thought, I started mentally reciting some lines from the “Omnipresence of the Deity,” which I usually do before going to sleep. Suddenly, two cats, who were greedy and foul-tempered, came in through a hole in the wall, jumped up dramatically like a performer, and landed right on my face. They immediately began fighting over my nose for no good reason.

But, as the loss of his ears proved the means of elevating to the throne of Cyrus, the Magian or Mige-Gush of Persia, and as the cutting off his nose gave Zopyrus possession of Babylon, so the loss of a few ounces of my countenance proved the salvation of my body. Aroused by the pain, and burning with indignation, I burst, at a single effort, the fastenings and the bandage. Stalking across the room I cast a glance of contempt at the belligerents, and throwing open the sash to their extreme horror and disappointment, precipitated myself, very dexterously, from the window.

But, just like losing his ears helped elevate the Magian or Mige-Gush of Persia to the throne of Cyrus, and losing his nose gave Zopyrus control of Babylon, losing a bit of my face ended up saving my life. Frustrated by the pain and burning with anger, I ripped off the fastenings and bandage in one swift motion. Striding across the room, I shot a look of disdain at the fighters, and to their utter shock and dismay, I flung open the window and leaped out with surprising agility.

The mail-robber W——, to whom I bore a singular resemblance, was at this moment passing from the city jail to the scaffold erected for his execution in the suburbs. His extreme infirmity and long continued ill health had obtained him the privilege of remaining unmanacled; and habited in his gallows costume—one very similar to my own,—he lay at full length in the bottom of the hangman’s cart (which happened to be under the windows of the surgeon at the moment of my precipitation) without any other guard than the driver, who was asleep, and two recruits of the sixth infantry, who were drunk.

The mail thief W——, who looked a lot like me, was currently being taken from the city jail to the scaffold set up for his execution on the outskirts. His poor health and ongoing illnesses had earned him the special privilege of not being shackled; dressed in his execution outfit—one that was very similar to mine—he lay stretched out at the bottom of the hangman's cart (which happened to be right under the surgeon's windows when I was thrown out) with no one watching him except for the driver, who was asleep, and two drunk recruits from the sixth infantry.

As ill-luck would have it, I alit upon my feet within the vehicle. W——, who was an acute fellow, perceived his opportunity. Leaping up immediately, he bolted out behind, and turning down an alley, was out of sight in the twinkling of an eye. The recruits, aroused by the bustle, could not exactly comprehend the merits of the transaction. Seeing, however, a man, the precise counterpart of the felon, standing upright in the cart before their eyes, they were of the opinion that the rascal (meaning W——) was after making his escape, (so they expressed themselves), and, having communicated this opinion to one another, they took each a dram, and then knocked me down with the butt-ends of their muskets.

As luck would have it, I landed on my feet in the vehicle. W——, who was pretty sharp, saw his chance. Jumping up right away, he bolted out the back and disappeared down an alley in no time. The recruits, stirred up by the commotion, didn’t quite get what was going on. However, seeing a man who looked just like the criminal standing in the cart in front of them, they thought the guy (referring to W——) had made a run for it (as they put it), and after sharing this opinion with each other, they all took a shot, then knocked me down with the ends of their muskets.

It was not long ere we arrived at the place of destination. Of course nothing could be said in my defence. Hanging was my inevitable fate. I resigned myself thereto with a feeling half stupid, half acrimonious. Being little of a cynic, I had all the sentiments of a dog. The hangman, however, adjusted the noose about my neck. The drop fell.

It wasn't long before we reached our destination. Of course, I had nothing to say in my defense. Hanging was my unavoidable fate. I accepted it with a feeling that was part numb and part bitter. Not really a cynic, I felt all the emotions of a dog. The hangman, however, put the noose around my neck. The trapdoor dropped.

I forbear to depict my sensations upon the gallows; although here, undoubtedly, I could speak to the point, and it is a topic upon which nothing has been well said. In fact, to write upon such a theme it is necessary to have been hanged. Every author should confine himself to matters of experience. Thus Mark Antony composed a treatise upon getting drunk.

I won’t describe how I felt on the gallows; even though I could definitely make a point here, it’s a subject that hasn’t been well covered. Honestly, to write about something like that, you really need to have been hanged. Every author should stick to what they’ve experienced. That’s why Mark Antony wrote a piece about getting drunk.

I may just mention, however, that die I did not. My body was, but I had no breath to be, suspended; and but for the knot under my left ear (which had the feel of a military stock) I dare say that I should have experienced very little inconvenience. As for the jerk given to my neck upon the falling of the drop, it merely proved a corrective to the twist afforded me by the fat gentleman in the coach.

I should note, though, that I didn’t actually die. My body was there, but I couldn’t breathe; I was just hanging there. If it hadn't been for the knot under my left ear (which felt like a military collar), I probably wouldn’t have been too uncomfortable. As for the jolt to my neck when the drop fell, it just straightened out the twist the fat guy in the carriage had given me.

For good reasons, however, I did my best to give the crowd the worth of their trouble. My convulsions were said to be extraordinary. My spasms it would have been difficult to beat. The populace encored. Several gentlemen swooned; and a multitude of ladies were carried home in hysterics. Pinxit availed himself of the opportunity to retouch, from a sketch taken upon the spot, his admirable painting of the “Marsyas flayed alive.”

For good reasons, though, I did my best to give the crowd their money's worth. My convulsions were said to be incredible. My spasms were hard to top. The audience cheered for more. Several gentlemen fainted, and many ladies were taken home in hysterics. Pinxit took the chance to touch up, from a sketch made on the spot, his amazing painting of “Marsyas flayed alive.”

When I had afforded sufficient amusement, it was thought proper to remove my body from the gallows;—this the more especially as the real culprit had in the meantime been retaken and recognized, a fact which I was so unlucky as not to know.

When I had provided enough entertainment, it was deemed appropriate to take my body down from the gallows; especially since the actual criminal had been caught and identified in the meantime, which I was unfortunately unaware of.

Much sympathy was, of course, exercised in my behalf, and as no one made claim to my corpse, it was ordered that I should be interred in a public vault.

Much sympathy was, of course, shown on my behalf, and since no one claimed my body, it was decided that I would be buried in a public vault.

Here, after due interval, I was deposited. The sexton departed, and I was left alone. A line of Marston’s “Malcontent”—

Here, after a while, I was dropped off. The caretaker left, and I was alone. A line from Marston’s “Malcontent”—

Death’s a good fellow and keeps open house—

Death’s a good guy and always has an open door—

struck me at that moment as a palpable lie.

struck me at that moment as a clear lie.

I knocked off, however, the lid of my coffin, and stepped out. The place was dreadfully dreary and damp, and I became troubled with ennui. By way of amusement, I felt my way among the numerous coffins ranged in order around. I lifted them down, one by one, and breaking open their lids, busied myself in speculations about the mortality within.

I knocked off the lid of my coffin and stepped out. The place was surprisingly gloomy and damp, and I started to feel really bored. To pass the time, I started feeling my way through the many coffins lined up around me. I took them down one by one, opened their lids, and occupied myself with thoughts about the lives inside.

“This,” I soliloquized, tumbling over a carcass, puffy, bloated, and rotund—“this has been, no doubt, in every sense of the word, an unhappy—an unfortunate man. It has been his terrible lot not to walk but to waddle—to pass through life not like a human being, but like an elephant—not like a man, but like a rhinoceros.

“This,” I thought, tripping over a carcass, swollen, bloated, and round—“this has clearly been, in every sense of the word, an unhappy—an unfortunate man. His terrible fate has been to waddle through life—not like a human being, but like an elephant—not like a man, but like a rhinoceros.

“His attempts at getting on have been mere abortions, and his circumgyratory proceedings a palpable failure. Taking a step forward, it has been his misfortune to take two toward the right, and three toward the left. His studies have been confined to the poetry of Crabbe. He can have no idea of the wonder of a pirouette. To him a pas de papillon has been an abstract conception. He has never ascended the summit of a hill. He has never viewed from any steeple the glories of a metropolis. Heat has been his mortal enemy. In the dog-days his days have been the days of a dog. Therein, he has dreamed of flames and suffocation—of mountains upon mountains—of Pelion upon Ossa. He was short of breath—to say all in a word, he was short of breath. He thought it extravagant to play upon wind instruments. He was the inventor of self-moving fans, wind-sails, and ventilators. He patronized Du Pont the bellows-maker, and he died miserably in attempting to smoke a cigar. His was a case in which I feel a deep interest—a lot in which I sincerely sympathize.

His attempts to get ahead have been complete failures, and his efforts have obviously not worked out. Whenever he tries to move forward, he ends up going to the right twice and to the left three times instead. His studies have only included the poetry of Crabbe. He has no idea what a pirouette feels like. To him, a butterfly step is just a vague idea. He has never climbed to the top of a hill. He has never seen the beauty of a city from any steeple. Heat has been his worst enemy. During the hottest days of summer, his days have felt like those of a dog. In those moments, he has dreamed of flames and suffocation—of mountains piled on top of mountains. To sum it all up, he was out of breath. He found it excessive to play wind instruments. He invented self-moving fans, wind sails, and ventilators. He supported Du Pont the bellows maker, and he died miserably trying to smoke a cigar. I am genuinely interested in his case and sympathize with his struggles.

“But here,”—said I—“here”—and I dragged spitefully from its receptacle a gaunt, tall and peculiar-looking form, whose remarkable appearance struck me with a sense of unwelcome familiarity—“here is a wretch entitled to no earthly commiseration.” Thus saying, in order to obtain a more distinct view of my subject, I applied my thumb and forefinger to its nose, and causing it to assume a sitting position upon the ground, held it thus, at the length of my arm, while I continued my soliloquy.

“But here,” I said, “here”—and I spitefully pulled out from its container a tall, thin, and oddly shaped figure, whose striking appearance felt uncomfortably familiar to me—“here is a miserable creature deserving of no sympathy.” As I spoke, to get a better look at my subject, I pinched its nose with my thumb and forefinger, making it sit down on the ground, and held it at arm's length while I continued my thoughts.

“Entitled,” I repeated, “to no earthly commiseration. Who indeed would think of compassioning a shadow? Besides, has he not had his full share of the blessings of mortality? He was the originator of tall monuments—shot-towers—lightning-rods—Lombardy poplars. His treatise upon “Shades and Shadows” has immortalized him. He edited with distinguished ability the last edition of “South on the Bones.” He went early to college and studied pneumatics. He then came home, talked eternally, and played upon the French-horn. He patronized the bagpipes. Captain Barclay, who walked against Time, would not walk against him. Windham and Allbreath were his favorite writers,—his favorite artist, Phiz. He died gloriously while inhaling gas—levique flatu corrupitur, like the fama pudicitae in Hieronymus. {*1} He was indubitably a—”

“Entitled,” I repeated, “to no earthly sympathy. Who would even think of feeling compassion for a shadow? Besides, hasn't he had his fair share of the blessings of life? He was the creator of tall monuments—shot towers—lightning rods—Lombardy poplars. His book on “Shades and Shadows” has made him legendary. He skillfully edited the last edition of “South on the Bones.” He went to college early and studied pneumatics. Then he came home, talked endlessly, and played the French horn. He even supported the bagpipes. Captain Barclay, who walked against Time, wouldn’t walk against him. Windham and Allbreath were his favorite writers, and his favorite artist was Phiz. He died gloriously while inhaling gas—levique flatu corrupitur, like the fama pudicitae in Hieronymus. {*1} He was undoubtedly a—”

“How can you?—how—can—you?”—interrupted the object of my animadversions, gasping for breath, and tearing off, with a desperate exertion, the bandage around its jaws—“how can you, Mr. Lackobreath, be so infernally cruel as to pinch me in that manner by the nose? Did you not see how they had fastened up my mouth—and you must know—if you know any thing—how vast a superfluity of breath I have to dispose of! If you do not know, however, sit down and you shall see. In my situation it is really a great relief to be able to open ones mouth—to be able to expatiate—to be able to communicate with a person like yourself, who do not think yourself called upon at every period to interrupt the thread of a gentleman’s discourse. Interruptions are annoying and should undoubtedly be abolished—don’t you think so?—no reply, I beg you,—one person is enough to be speaking at a time.—I shall be done by and by, and then you may begin.—How the devil sir, did you get into this place?—not a word I beseech you—been here some time myself—terrible accident!—heard of it, I suppose?—awful calamity!—walking under your windows—some short while ago—about the time you were stage-struck—horrible occurrence!—heard of “catching one’s breath,” eh?—hold your tongue I tell you!—I caught somebody else’s!—had always too much of my own—met Blab at the corner of the street—wouldn’t give me a chance for a word—couldn’t get in a syllable edgeways—attacked, consequently, with epilepsis—Blab made his escape—damn all fools!—they took me up for dead, and put me in this place—pretty doings all of them!—heard all you said about me—every word a lie—horrible!—wonderful!—outrageous!—hideous!—incomprehensible!—et cetera—et cetera—et cetera—et cetera—”

“How can you?—how—can—you?” the focus of my criticism gasped, tearing off the bandage around its mouth with a desperate effort. “How can you, Mr. Lackobreath, be so incredibly cruel as to pinch me by the nose like that? Didn’t you see how they had shut my mouth? And you must know—if you know anything—how much excess breath I have! If you don’t know, just sit down and you’ll see. In my situation, it’s such a relief to be able to open my mouth—to express myself—to communicate with someone like you, who doesn’t feel the need to interrupt a gentleman’s conversation constantly. Interruptions are annoying and should definitely be abolished—don’t you think?—no reply, please—only one person should speak at a time—I’ll be done soon, and then you can start. How the devil, sir, did you get here?—not a word, I beg you—I've been here for a while—terrible accident!—you've heard about it, I presume?—awful calamity!—I was walking under your windows a short while ago—about the time you got stage-struck—horrible occurrence!—you’ve heard of “catching one’s breath,” right?—be quiet, I tell you!—I caught someone else’s!—I’ve always had too much of my own—ran into Blab at the corner of the street—he wouldn’t let me get a word in—couldn’t slip in a single syllable—so I ended up having an epileptic fit—Blab got away—damn all fools!—they thought I was dead and put me in here—such nonsense!—I heard everything you said about me—every word a lie—horrible!—wonderful!—outrageous!—hideous!—incomprehensible!—et cetera—et cetera—et cetera—et cetera—”

It is impossible to conceive my astonishment at so unexpected a discourse, or the joy with which I became gradually convinced that the breath so fortunately caught by the gentleman (whom I soon recognized as my neighbor Windenough) was, in fact, the identical expiration mislaid by myself in the conversation with my wife. Time, place, and circumstances rendered it a matter beyond question. I did not, however, immediately release my hold upon Mr. W.’s proboscis—not at least during the long period in which the inventor of Lombardy poplars continued to favor me with his explanations.

I can't express how shocked I was by such an unexpected conversation, or the happiness I felt as I slowly realized that the breath I had lost during my chat with my wife had been caught by the gentleman I soon recognized as my neighbor Windenough. The time, place, and situation left no doubt about it. However, I didn’t immediately let go of Mr. W.’s nose—not at least during the long time he continued to explain things to me.

In this respect I was actuated by that habitual prudence which has ever been my predominating trait. I reflected that many difficulties might still lie in the path of my preservation which only extreme exertion on my part would be able to surmount. Many persons, I considered, are prone to estimate commodities in their possession—however valueless to the then proprietor—however troublesome, or distressing—in direct ratio with the advantages to be derived by others from their attainment, or by themselves from their abandonment. Might not this be the case with Mr. Windenough? In displaying anxiety for the breath of which he was at present so willing to get rid, might I not lay myself open to the exactions of his avarice? There are scoundrels in this world, I remembered with a sigh, who will not scruple to take unfair opportunities with even a next door neighbor, and (this remark is from Epictetus) it is precisely at that time when men are most anxious to throw off the burden of their own calamities that they feel the least desirous of relieving them in others.

In this regard, I was guided by my usual caution, which has always been my main characteristic. I thought about how many obstacles might still stand in the way of my survival that only extreme effort on my part could overcome. I realized that many people tend to evaluate the things they own—no matter how worthless they may be to them—based on how beneficial those things could be to others if obtained, or how freeing it would be for themselves to let them go. Could this be true for Mr. Windenough? By showing concern for the very things he was so eager to get rid of, could I open myself up to his greedy demands? I remembered with a sigh that there are scoundrels in this world who won’t hesitate to take unfair advantage of even their next-door neighbors, and (as Epictetus noted) it's often when people are most eager to rid themselves of their own troubles that they feel the least inclined to help others with theirs.

Upon considerations similar to these, and still retaining my grasp upon the nose of Mr. W., I accordingly thought proper to model my reply.

Upon reflecting on similar thoughts, and still holding onto Mr. W.'s nose, I decided it was best to shape my response.

“Monster!” I began in a tone of the deepest indignation—“monster and double-winded idiot!—dost thou, whom for thine iniquities it has pleased heaven to accurse with a two-fold respimtion—dost thou, I say, presume to address me in the familiar language of an old acquaintance?—‘I lie,’ forsooth! and ‘hold my tongue,’ to be sure!—pretty conversation indeed, to a gentleman with a single breath!—all this, too, when I have it in my power to relieve the calamity under which thou dost so justly suffer—to curtail the superfluities of thine unhappy respiration.”

“Monster!” I started in a tone of complete outrage—“monster and total idiot!—do you, who for your sins have been cursed by heaven with double trouble—do you, I ask, think you can talk to me like we're old friends?—‘I lie,’ really! and ‘hold my tongue,’ of course!—what a conversation for a guy with only one breath!—especially when I could actually help fix the misery you're so justly enduring—when I could cut down the excess of your wretched breathing.”

Like Brutus, I paused for a reply—with which, like a tornado, Mr. Windenough immediately overwhelmed me. Protestation followed upon protestation, and apology upon apology. There were no terms with which he was unwilling to comply, and there were none of which I failed to take the fullest advantage.

Like Brutus, I waited for a response—at which point, like a tornado, Mr. Windenough immediately overwhelmed me. There were protests after protests, and apologies after apologies. There were no terms he was not willing to agree to, and I took full advantage of all of them.

Preliminaries being at length arranged, my acquaintance delivered me the respiration; for which (having carefully examined it) I gave him afterward a receipt.

Preliminaries being finally arranged, my friend gave me the respiratory device; for which (after examining it closely) I later provided him with a receipt.

I am aware that by many I shall be held to blame for speaking in a manner so cursory, of a transaction so impalpable. It will be thought that I should have entered more minutely, into the details of an occurrence by which—and this is very true—much new light might be thrown upon a highly interesting branch of physical philosophy.

I know that many people will blame me for speaking so briefly about an event that feels so intangible. They might think I should have gone into more detail about something that could really shed light on a fascinating area of physical science.

To all this I am sorry that I cannot reply. A hint is the only answer which I am permitted to make. There were circumstances—but I think it much safer upon consideration to say as little as possible about an affair so delicate—so delicate, I repeat, and at the time involving the interests of a third party whose sulphurous resentment I have not the least desire, at this moment, of incurring.

I'm sorry that I can't respond to all of this. A hint is the only response I can give. There were circumstances, but I think it's much safer to say as little as possible about such a sensitive matter—so sensitive, I repeat—and at the time, it involved the interests of a third party whose intense anger I have no interest in provoking right now.

We were not long after this necessary arrangement in effecting an escape from the dungeons of the sepulchre. The united strength of our resuscitated voices was soon sufficiently apparent. Scissors, the Whig editor, republished a treatise upon “the nature and origin of subterranean noises.” A reply—rejoinder—confutation—and justification—followed in the columns of a Democratic gazette. It was not until the opening of the vault to decide the controversy, that the appearance of Mr. Windenough and myself proved both parties to have been decidedly in the wrong.

We weren't long after this necessary arrangement before we managed to escape from the dungeons of the tomb. The combined strength of our revived voices quickly became clear. Scissors, the Whig editor, reprinted a paper on "the nature and origin of underground noises." A response—counterargument—refutation—and justification—followed in the pages of a Democratic newspaper. It wasn't until the vault was opened to settle the debate that the presence of Mr. Windenough and me showed both sides to be definitely in the wrong.

I cannot conclude these details of some very singular passages in a life at all times sufficiently eventful, without again recalling to the attention of the reader the merits of that indiscriminate philosophy which is a sure and ready shield against those shafts of calamity which can neither be seen, felt nor fully understood. It was in the spirit of this wisdom that, among the ancient Hebrews, it was believed the gates of Heaven would be inevitably opened to that sinner, or saint, who, with good lungs and implicit confidence, should vociferate the word “Amen!” It was in the spirit of this wisdom that, when a great plague raged at Athens, and every means had been in vain attempted for its removal, Epimenides, as Laërtius relates, in his second book, of that philosopher, advised the erection of a shrine and temple “to the proper God.”

I can't wrap up these details about some truly unique moments in a life that's always been pretty eventful without reminding the reader of the value of that broad-minded philosophy, which serves as a reliable shield against misfortunes that can't be seen, felt, or fully understood. It was with this mindset that the ancient Hebrews believed the gates of Heaven would undoubtedly open for any sinner or saint who, with strong lungs and unwavering faith, shouted the word "Amen!" It was in this spirit of wisdom that, when a devastating plague hit Athens and all efforts to stop it had failed, Epimenides, as Laërtius mentions in his second book about that philosopher, suggested building a shrine and temple "to the appropriate God."

LYTTLETON BARRY.

Lyttleton Barry.

THE MAN THAT WAS USED UP

A TALE OF THE LATE BUGABOO AND KICKAPOO CAMPAIGN.

Pleurez, pleurez, mes yeux, et fondez vous en eau!
La moitié de ma vie a mis l’ autre au tombeau.
                    —CORNEILLE.

Cry, cry, my eyes, and melt away like water!
Half my life has buried the other half.
                    —CORNEILLE.

I cannot just now remember when or where I first made the acquaintance of that truly fine-looking fellow, Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C. Smith. Some one did introduce me to the gentleman, I am sure—at some public meeting, I know very well—held about something of great importance, no doubt—at some place or other, I feel convinced,—whose name I have unaccountably forgotten. The truth is—that the introduction was attended, upon my part, with a degree of anxious embarrassment which operated to prevent any definite impressions of either time or place. I am constitutionally nervous—this, with me, is a family failing, and I can’t help it. In especial, the slightest appearance of mystery—of any point I cannot exactly comprehend—puts me at once into a pitiable state of agitation.

I can't quite remember when or where I first met that really good-looking guy, Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C. Smith. I’m sure someone introduced me to him—at a public meeting, I clearly recall—about something important, no doubt—at some place whose name I’ve somehow forgotten. The truth is, I was really anxious during the introduction, which kept me from remembering any details about the time or place. I get nervous by nature—it's a family trait, and I can’t help it. Especially, the slightest hint of mystery—anything I can’t fully understand—immediately puts me in a state of distress.

There was something, as it were, remarkable—yes, remarkable, although this is but a feeble term to express my full meaning—about the entire individuality of the personage in question. He was, perhaps, six feet in height, and of a presence singularly commanding. There was an air distingué pervading the whole man, which spoke of high breeding, and hinted at high birth. Upon this topic—the topic of Smith’s personal appearance—I have a kind of melancholy satisfaction in being minute. His head of hair would have done honor to a Brutus; nothing could be more richly flowing, or possess a brighter gloss. It was of a jetty black;—which was also the color, or more properly the no color of his unimaginable whiskers. You perceive I cannot speak of these latter without enthusiasm; it is not too much to say that they were the handsomest pair of whiskers under the sun. At all events, they encircled, and at times partially overshadowed, a mouth utterly unequalled. Here were the most entirely even, and the most brilliantly white of all conceivable teeth. From between them, upon every proper occasion, issued a voice of surpassing clearness, melody, and strength. In the matter of eyes, also, my acquaintance was pre-eminently endowed. Either one of such a pair was worth a couple of the ordinary ocular organs. They were of a deep hazel, exceedingly large and lustrous; and there was perceptible about them, ever and anon, just that amount of interesting obliquity which gives pregnancy to expression.

There was something truly remarkable—yes, remarkable, even though that word barely captures my full intent—about the unique individuality of the person in question. He stood at about six feet tall and had a striking presence. There was a distinct air surrounding him that hinted at refinement and suggested noble origins. When it comes to the subject of Smith’s appearance, I find a certain melancholy satisfaction in being detailed. His hair could have made any Brutus proud; it flowed richly and had an incredible shine. It was jet black—just like the color, or really, the lack of color, of his extraordinary whiskers. I can’t help but speak of these with enthusiasm; it’s fair to say they were the finest pair of whiskers under the sun. They framed, and sometimes partially overshadowed, a mouth that was truly unparalleled. His teeth were the most uniform and brilliantly white of any imaginable. Whenever he spoke, a voice of remarkable clarity, melody, and strength emerged. As for his eyes, my acquaintance was also exceptionally fortunate. Each eye was worth at least two of the average ones. They were a deep hazel, large, and shiny; and there was always just the right hint of intriguing tilt that added depth to his expression.

The bust of the General was unquestionably the finest bust I ever saw. For your life you could not have found a fault with its wonderful proportion. This rare peculiarity set off to great advantage a pair of shoulders which would have called up a blush of conscious inferiority into the countenance of the marble Apollo. I have a passion for fine shoulders, and may say that I never beheld them in perfection before. The arms altogether were admirably modelled. Nor were the lower limbs less superb. These were, indeed, the ne plus ultra of good legs. Every connoisseur in such matters admitted the legs to be good. There was neither too much flesh, nor too little,—neither rudeness nor fragility. I could not imagine a more graceful curve than that of the os femoris, and there was just that due gentle prominence in the rear of the fibula which goes to the conformation of a properly proportioned calf. I wish to God my young and talented friend Chiponchipino, the sculptor, had but seen the legs of Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C. Smith.

The bust of the General was definitely the best bust I've ever seen. You couldn't find a flaw in its amazing proportions. This unique feature highlighted a pair of shoulders that would make even the marble Apollo feel inferior. I have a real passion for great shoulders, and honestly, I've never seen them done so perfectly before. The arms were perfectly sculpted as well. The legs were just as impressive. They were truly the best legs you could find. Every expert in such things acknowledged that the legs were excellent. They had neither too much nor too little flesh—no roughness or fragility. I couldn't imagine a more elegant curve than that of the thigh bone, and there was just the right gentle fullness at the back of the fibula that defines a well-proportioned calf. I wish my young and talented friend Chiponchipino, the sculptor, could have seen the legs of Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C. Smith.

But although men so absolutely fine-looking are neither as plenty as reasons or blackberries, still I could not bring myself to believe that the remarkable something to which I alluded just now,—that the odd air of je ne sais quoi which hung about my new acquaintance,—lay altogether, or indeed at all, in the supreme excellence of his bodily endowments. Perhaps it might be traced to the manner;—yet here again I could not pretend to be positive. There was a primness, not to say stiffness, in his carriage—a degree of measured, and, if I may so express it, of rectangular precision, attending his every movement, which, observed in a more diminutive figure, would have had the least little savor in the world, of affectation, pomposity or constraint, but which noticed in a gentleman of his undoubted dimensions, was readily placed to the account of reserve, hauteur—of a commendable sense, in short, of what is due to the dignity of colossal proportion.

But even though incredibly handsome men aren’t as common as reasons or blackberries, I couldn’t quite convince myself that the notable something I just mentioned—the unique air of *je ne sais quoi* surrounding my new acquaintance—was entirely or even mostly due to his outstanding physical attributes. It might come from his *manner*; yet again, I couldn’t claim to be certain. There was a certain primness, if not stiffness, in how he carried himself—a level of measured, and if I might say, rectangular precision in every movement, which, seen in someone smaller, could have hinted at affectation, pomposity, or constraint. However, when noticed in a man of his undeniable stature, it was easily attributed to reserve, *hauteur*—in short, a commendable awareness of what is appropriate for someone of such impressive proportions.

The kind friend who presented me to General Smith whispered in my ear some few words of comment upon the man. He was a remarkable man—a very remarkable man—indeed one of the most remarkable men of the age. He was an especial favorite, too, with the ladies—chiefly on account of his high reputation for courage.

The kind friend who introduced me to General Smith whispered a few comments about him in my ear. He was a remarkable man—truly a very remarkable man—definitely one of the most remarkable men of our time. He was especially popular with the ladies, mainly because of his strong reputation for bravery.

“In that point he is unrivalled—indeed he is a perfect desperado—a down-right fire-eater, and no mistake,” said my friend, here dropping his voice excessively low, and thrilling me with the mystery of his tone.

“At that point he is unmatched—really, he’s a total daredevil—a complete fire-eater, no doubt about it,” said my friend, lowering his voice dramatically and captivating me with the intrigue of his tone.

“A downright fire-eater, and no mistake. Showed that, I should say, to some purpose, in the late tremendous swamp-fight away down South, with the Bugaboo and Kickapoo Indians.” [Here my friend opened his eyes to some extent.] “Bless my soul!—blood and thunder, and all that!—prodigies of valor!—heard of him of course?—you know he’s the man—”

“A total fire-eater, no doubt about it. He really showed that during the recent intense swamp fight down South against the Bugaboo and Kickapoo Indians.” [Here my friend widened his eyes a bit.] “Goodness!—blood and thunder, and all that!—incredible acts of bravery!—you’ve heard of him, right?—you know he’s the guy—”

“Man alive, how do you do? why, how are ye? very glad to see ye, indeed!” here interrupted the General himself, seizing my companion by the hand as he drew near, and bowing stiffly, but profoundly, as I was presented. I then thought, (and I think so still,) that I never heard a clearer nor a stronger voice, nor beheld a finer set of teeth: but I must say that I was sorry for the interruption just at that moment, as, owing to the whispers and insinuations aforesaid, my interest had been greatly excited in the hero of the Bugaboo and Kickapoo campaign.

“Wow, how are you doing? It's so great to see you!” At that moment, the General himself jumped in, grabbing my friend's hand as he approached, and bowing stiffly but deeply as I was introduced. I thought then, and I still think, that I've never heard a clearer or stronger voice, nor seen a nicer set of teeth. However, I have to say I was disappointed by the interruption right then, as the earlier whispers and hints had really piqued my interest in the hero of the Bugaboo and Kickapoo campaign.

However, the delightfully luminous conversation of Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C. Smith soon completely dissipated this chagrin. My friend leaving us immediately, we had quite a long tête-à-tête, and I was not only pleased but really—instructed. I never heard a more fluent talker, or a man of greater general information. With becoming modesty, he forebore, nevertheless, to touch upon the theme I had just then most at heart—I mean the mysterious circumstances attending the Bugaboo war—and, on my own part, what I conceive to be a proper sense of delicacy forbade me to broach the subject; although, in truth, I was exceedingly tempted to do so. I perceived, too, that the gallant soldier preferred topics of philosophical interest, and that he delighted, especially, in commenting upon the rapid march of mechanical invention. Indeed, lead him where I would, this was a point to which he invariably came back.

However, the wonderfully bright conversation of Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C. Smith quickly wiped away my disappointment. After my friend left us, we had quite a long chat, and I was not only pleased but genuinely informed. I had never heard anyone speak as fluently or with such broad knowledge. With admirable modesty, he avoided the topic I was most interested in—the mysterious circumstances surrounding the Bugaboo war—and out of a proper sense of delicacy, I didn’t bring it up, even though I was very tempted to do so. I also noticed that the brave soldier preferred philosophical topics and particularly enjoyed discussing the rapid advancement of technology. In fact, no matter where our conversation went, he always circled back to this subject.

“There is nothing at all like it,” he would say; “we are a wonderful people, and live in a wonderful age. Parachutes and rail-roads—man-traps and spring-guns! Our steam-boats are upon every sea, and the Nassau balloon packet is about to run regular trips (fare either way only twenty pounds sterling) between London and Timbuctoo. And who shall calculate the immense influence upon social life—upon arts—upon commerce—upon literature—which will be the immediate result of the great principles of electro-magnetics! Nor, is this all, let me assure you! There is really no end to the march of invention. The most wonderful—the most ingenious—and let me add, Mr.—Mr.—Thompson, I believe, is your name—let me add, I say, the most useful—the most truly useful—mechanical contrivances, are daily springing up like mushrooms, if I may so express myself, or, more figuratively, like—ah—grasshoppers—like grasshoppers, Mr. Thompson—about us and ah—ah—ah—around us!”

“There’s nothing quite like it,” he would say; “we’re an amazing people living in an incredible time. Parachutes and railroads—man-traps and spring guns! Our steamships are in every ocean, and the Nassau balloon service is about to offer regular flights (fare each way only twenty pounds) between London and Timbuktu. And who can measure the huge impact on social life—on the arts—on commerce—on literature—that will be the immediate result of the groundbreaking principles of electromagnetism! But that’s not all, let me assure you! There’s truly no limit to the progress of invention. The most amazing—the most clever—and let me add, Mr.—Mr.—Thompson, I believe that’s your name—let me add, I mean the most useful—the most genuinely useful—mechanical inventions are popping up daily like mushrooms, if I may say so, or, more poetically, like—ah—grasshoppers—like grasshoppers, Mr. Thompson—around us and ah—ah—ah—about us!”

Thompson, to be sure, is not my name; but it is needless to say that I left General Smith with a heightened interest in the man, with an exalted opinion of his conversational powers, and a deep sense of the valuable privileges we enjoy in living in this age of mechanical invention. My curiosity, however, had not been altogether satisfied, and I resolved to prosecute immediate inquiry among my acquaintances touching the Brevet Brigadier General himself, and particularly respecting the tremendous events quorum pars magna fuit, during the Bugaboo and Kickapoo campaign.

Thompson isn’t my name; but I must say I left General Smith with a greater interest in him, a high regard for his conversation skills, and a strong appreciation for the amazing advantages we have living in this age of technology. However, my curiosity wasn’t fully satisfied, so I decided to dig deeper among my friends about the Brevet Brigadier General himself, especially concerning the significant events quorum pars magna fuit during the Bugaboo and Kickapoo campaign.

The first opportunity which presented itself, and which (horresco referens) I did not in the least scruple to seize, occurred at the Church of the Reverend Doctor Drummummupp, where I found myself established, one Sunday, just at sermon time, not only in the pew, but by the side, of that worthy and communicative little friend of mine, Miss Tabitha T. Thus seated, I congratulated myself, and with much reason, upon the very flattering state of affairs. If any person knew anything about Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C. Smith, that person, it was clear to me, was Miss Tabitha T. We telegraphed a few signals, and then commenced, sotto voce, a brisk tête-à-tête.

The first chance that came up, which I couldn’t resist taking, happened at the Church of the Reverend Doctor Drummummupp, where I found myself one Sunday right at sermon time, not only in the pew but next to my dear and chatty friend, Miss Tabitha T. Sitting there, I felt pretty pleased with the situation. If anyone knew anything about Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C. Smith, it was definitely Miss Tabitha T. We exchanged a few signals and then started a quiet conversation.

“Smith!” said she, in reply to my very earnest inquiry; “Smith!—why, not General John A. B. C.? Bless me, I thought you knew all about him! This is a wonderfully inventive age! Horrid affair that!—a bloody set of wretches, those Kickapoos!—fought like a hero—prodigies of valor—immortal renown. Smith!—Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C.! why, you know he’s the man—”

“Smith!” she replied to my very serious question, “Smith!—why not General John A. B. C.? Goodness, I thought you knew all about him! This is such a creative time! What a terrible situation!—a brutal bunch, those Kickapoos!—fought like a hero—acts of great bravery—immortal fame. Smith!—Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C.! Come on, you know he’s the man—”

“Man,” here broke in Doctor Drummummupp, at the top of his voice, and with a thump that came near knocking the pulpit about our ears—“man that is born of a woman hath but a short time to live; he cometh up and is cut down like a flower!” I started to the extremity of the pew, and perceived by the animated looks of the divine, that the wrath which had nearly proved fatal to the pulpit had been excited by the whispers of the lady and myself. There was no help for it; so I submitted with a good grace, and listened, in all the martyrdom of dignified silence, to the balance of that very capital discourse.

“Man,” interrupted Doctor Drummummupp, loudly and with a slam that almost knocked the pulpit over, “man who is born of a woman has only a short time to live; he rises and is cut down like a flower!” I flinched back in the pew and noticed from the pastor's intense expression that his anger, which had almost destroyed the pulpit, was stirred by the whispers between the lady and me. There was nothing I could do, so I accepted it gracefully and listened, enduring the pain of dignified silence, to the rest of that excellent sermon.

Next evening found me a somewhat late visitor at the Rantipole Theatre, where I felt sure of satisfying my curiosity at once, by merely stepping into the box of those exquisite specimens of affability and omniscience, the Misses Arabella and Miranda Cognoscenti. That fine tragedian, Climax, was doing Iago to a very crowded house, and I experienced some little difficulty in making my wishes understood; especially, as our box was next the slips, and completely overlooked the stage.

The next evening, I showed up a bit late at the Rantipole Theatre, where I was sure I could quickly satisfy my curiosity by just stepping into the box of those charming and all-knowing ladies, the Misses Arabella and Miranda Cognoscenti. The great actor, Climax, was playing Iago to a packed audience, and I had a bit of trouble getting my requests across, especially since our box was right next to the aisle and had a perfect view of the stage.

“Smith!” said Miss Arabella, as she at length comprehended the purport of my query; “Smith!—why, not General John A. B. C.?”

“Smith!” said Miss Arabella, as she finally understood the meaning of my question; “Smith!—why not General John A. B. C.?”

“Smith!” inquired Miranda, musingly. “God bless me, did you ever behold a finer figure?”

“Smith!” Miranda questioned, thoughtfully. “Oh my, have you ever seen a better-looking person?”

“Never, madam, but do tell me—”

"Never, ma'am, but do tell me—"

“Or so inimitable grace?”

"Or so unmatched grace?"

“Never, upon my word!—But pray inform me—”

“Never, I swear!—But please tell me—”

“Or so just an appreciation of stage effect?”

“Or is it just an appreciation of the stage effect?”

“Madam!”

"Ma'am!"

“Or a more delicate sense of the true beauties of Shakespeare? Be so good as to look at that leg!”

“Or a more refined appreciation of the real beauty in Shakespeare? Please take a moment to look at that leg!”

“The devil!” and I turned again to her sister.

“The devil!” I said, turning back to her sister.

“Smith!” said she, “why, not General John A. B. C.? Horrid affair that, wasn’t it?—great wretches, those Bugaboos—savage and so on—but we live in a wonderfully inventive age!—Smith!—O yes! great man!—perfect desperado!—immortal renown!—prodigies of valor! Never heard!” [This was given in a scream.] “Bless my soul! why, he’s the man—”

“Smith!” she exclaimed, “is that General John A. B. C.? What a terrible situation that was, right? Those Bugaboos are such awful people—savage and all that—but we live in an incredibly inventive time!—Smith!—Oh yes! A great man!—a total renegade!—immortal fame!—acts of bravery! Never heard of it!” [This was shouted.] “Goodness! He’s the man—”

“——mandragora
Nor all the drowsy syrups of the world
Shall ever medicine thee to that sweet sleep
Which thou owd’st yesterday!”

“——mandragora
Not all the sleepy syrups in the world
Will ever cure you to that sweet sleep
That you owed yesterday!”

here roared our Climax just in my ear, and shaking his fist in my face all the time, in a way that I couldn’t stand, and I wouldn’t. I left the Misses Cognoscenti immediately, went behind the scenes forthwith, and gave the beggarly scoundrel such a thrashing as I trust he will remember to the day of his death.

here roared our Climax right in my ear, shaking his fist in my face the whole time, in a way that I couldn’t handle, and I wouldn’t tolerate. I left the Misses Cognoscenti right away, went behind the scenes immediately, and gave that worthless scoundrel such a beating as I hope he will remember for the rest of his life.

At the soirée of the lovely widow, Mrs. Kathleen O’Trump, I was confident that I should meet with no similar disappointment. Accordingly, I was no sooner seated at the card-table, with my pretty hostess for a vis-à-vis, than I propounded those questions the solution of which had become a matter so essential to my peace.

At the soiree of the beautiful widow, Mrs. Kathleen O’Trump, I was sure that I wouldn't face any similar disappointment. So, as soon as I sat down at the card table, with my lovely hostess across from me, I asked those questions whose answers had become crucial to my peace of mind.

“Smith!” said my partner, “why, not General John A. B. C.? Horrid affair that, wasn’t it?—diamonds, did you say?—terrible wretches those Kickapoos!—we are playing whist, if you please, Mr. Tattle—however, this is the age of invention, most certainly the age, one may say—the age par excellence—speak French?—oh, quite a hero—perfect desperado!—no hearts, Mr. Tattle? I don’t believe it.—immortal renown and all that!—prodigies of valor! Never heard!!—why, bless me, he’s the man—”

“Smith!” my partner said, “why not General John A. B. C.? What a terrible situation that was, right?—diamonds, you mentioned?—those Kickapoos are such awful people!—we're playing whist, if you don’t mind, Mr. Tattle—anyway, this is definitely the age of invention, without a doubt the age, you could say—the age par excellence—do you speak French?—oh, quite the hero—perfect outlaw!—no hearts, Mr. Tattle? I just can’t believe it.—immortal fame and all that!—deeds of bravery! Never heard such a thing!!—goodness, he’s the man—”

“Mann!—Captain Mann?” here screamed some little feminine interloper from the farthest corner of the room. “Are you talking about Captain Mann and the duel?—oh, I must hear—do tell—go on, Mrs. O’Trump!—do now go on!” And go on Mrs. O’Trump did—all about a certain Captain Mann, who was either shot or hung, or should have been both shot and hung. Yes! Mrs. O’Trump, she went on, and I—I went off. There was no chance of hearing anything farther that evening in regard to Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C. Smith.

“Mann!—Captain Mann?” screamed a little woman from the far corner of the room. “Are you talking about Captain Mann and the duel?—oh, I have to hear—please tell—keep going, Mrs. O’Trump!—do continue!” And continue Mrs. O’Trump did—all about a certain Captain Mann, who was either shot or hung, or should have been both shot and hung. Yes! Mrs. O’Trump kept talking, and I—I slipped away. There was no chance of hearing anything more that evening about Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C. Smith.

Still I consoled myself with the reflection that the tide of ill luck would not run against me forever, and so determined to make a bold push for information at the rout of that bewitching little angel, the graceful Mrs. Pirouette.

Still, I comforted myself with the thought that my streak of bad luck wouldn't last forever, so I decided to boldly seek information from that charming little angel, the lovely Mrs. Pirouette.

“Smith!” said Mrs. P., as we twirled about together in a pas de zephyr, “Smith!—why, not General John A. B. C.? Dreadful business that of the Bugaboos, wasn’t it?—dreadful creatures, those Indians!—do turn out your toes! I really am ashamed of you—man of great courage, poor fellow!—but this is a wonderful age for invention—O dear me, I’m out of breath—quite a desperado—prodigies of valor—never heard!—can’t believe it—I shall have to sit down and enlighten you—Smith! why, he’s the man—”

“Smith!” said Mrs. P., as we spun around together in a pas de zephyr, “Smith!—isn’t that General John A. B. C.? That Bugaboos situation was really something, wasn’t it?—dreadful creatures, those Indians!—do point your toes! I’m honestly embarrassed for you—such a brave guy, poor thing!—but this is an amazing time for new inventions—Oh dear, I’m out of breath—quite the rebel—acts of bravery—never heard!—can’t believe it—I’ll have to sit down and fill you in—Smith! he’s the one—”

“Man-Fred, I tell you!” here bawled out Miss Bas-Bleu, as I led Mrs. Pirouette to a seat. “Did ever anybody hear the like? It’s Man-Fred, I say, and not at all by any means Man-Friday.” Here Miss Bas-Bleu beckoned to me in a very peremptory manner; and I was obliged, will I nill I, to leave Mrs. P. for the purpose of deciding a dispute touching the title of a certain poetical drama of Lord Byron’s. Although I pronounced, with great promptness, that the true title was Man-Friday, and not by any means Man-Fred, yet when I returned to seek Mrs. Pirouette she was not to be discovered, and I made my retreat from the house in a very bitter spirit of animosity against the whole race of the Bas-Bleus.

“Man-Fred, I swear!” shouted Miss Bas-Bleu as I showed Mrs. Pirouette to a seat. “Has anyone ever heard anything like it? It’s Man-Fred, I tell you, and definitely not Man-Friday.” Miss Bas-Bleu then waved me over in a very commanding way, and I had no choice but to leave Mrs. P. to settle a disagreement about the title of a certain poetic drama by Lord Byron. Even though I confidently stated that the correct title was Man-Friday and not in any way Man-Fred, when I went back to find Mrs. Pirouette, she was nowhere to be found, and I left the house feeling very angry with the entire Bas-Bleu crowd.

Matters had now assumed a really serious aspect, and I resolved to call at once upon my particular friend, Mr. Theodore Sinivate; for I knew that here at least I should get something like definite information.

Things had now taken a really serious turn, and I decided to visit my close friend, Mr. Theodore Sinivate, right away; because I knew I could at least get some definite information from him.

“Smith!” said he, in his well-known peculiar way of drawling out his syllables; “Smith!—why, not General John A. B. C.? Savage affair that with the Kickapo-o-o-os, wasn’t it? Say! don’t you think so?—perfect despera-a-ado—great pity, ‘pon my honor!—wonderfully inventive age!—pro-o-odigies of valor! By the by, did you ever hear about Captain Ma-a-a-a-n?”

“Smith!” he said, drawing out his syllables in his usual way; “Smith!—isn’t it General John A. B. C.? That was a savage situation with the Kickapoo, wasn’t it? Don’t you think so?—perfect desperado—great pity, I swear!—what an incredibly inventive time we live in!—prodigies of courage! By the way, have you ever heard about Captain Mann?”

“Captain Mann be d—d!” said I; “please to go on with your story.”

“Captain Mann can go to hell!” I said; “please continue with your story.”

“Hem!—oh well!—quite la même cho-o-ose, as we say in France. Smith, eh? Brigadier-General John A.—B.—C.? I say”—[here Mr. S. thought proper to put his finger to the side of his nose]—“I say, you don’t mean to insinuate now, really and truly, and conscientiously, that you don’t know all about that affair of Smith’s, as well as I do, eh? Smith? John A—B—C.? Why, bless me, he’s the ma-a-an—”

“Hmm!—oh well!—just the same thing, as we say in France. Smith, huh? Brigadier-General John A.—B.—C.? I mean”—[here Mr. S. thought it was appropriate to put his finger to the side of his nose]—“I mean, you can’t possibly be suggesting now, really and truly, and honestly, that you don’t know everything about that whole Smith situation, just like I do, right? Smith? John A—B—C.? Wow, he’s the guy—”

Mr. Sinivate,” said I, imploringly, “is he the man in the mask?”

“Mr. Sinivate,” I said, pleadingly, “is he the man in the mask?”

“No-o-o!” said he, looking wise, “nor the man in the mo-o-on.”

“No-o-o!” he said, looking wise, “nor the man in the mo-o-on.”

This reply I considered a pointed and positive insult, and so left the house at once in high dudgeon, with a firm resolve to call my friend, Mr. Sinivate, to a speedy account for his ungentlemanly conduct and ill-breeding.

This response felt like a clear and unexpected insult, so I immediately left the house in a huff, determined to confront my friend, Mr. Sinivate, about his rude behavior and lack of manners.

In the meantime, however, I had no notion of being thwarted touching the information I desired. There was one resource left me yet. I would go to the fountain-head. I would call forthwith upon the General himself, and demand, in explicit terms, a solution of this abominable piece of mystery. Here, at least, there should be no chance for equivocation. I would be plain, positive, peremptory—as short as pie-crust—as concise as Tacitus or Montesquieu.

In the meantime, though, I had no intention of being stopped from getting the information I wanted. I still had one option left. I would go straight to the source. I would go see the General himself and demand, clearly and directly, an explanation for this terrible mystery. Here, at least, there should be no room for misunderstanding. I would be straightforward, definite, and firm—short and to the point.

It was early when I called, and the General was dressing; but I pleaded urgent business, and was shown at once into his bed-room by an old negro valet, who remained in attendance during my visit. As I entered the chamber, I looked about, of course, for the occupant, but did not immediately perceive him. There was a large and exceedingly odd-looking bundle of something which lay close by my feet on the floor, and, as I was not in the best humor in the world, I gave it a kick out of the way.

It was early when I called, and the General was getting dressed; but I insisted it was urgent, and an old black valet quickly showed me into his bedroom, where he stayed during my visit. When I entered the room, I naturally looked around for the occupant, but I didn't see him right away. There was a large and very strange-looking bundle laying near my feet on the floor, and since I wasn't in the best mood, I kicked it out of the way.

“Hem! ahem! rather civil that, I should say!” said the bundle, in one of the smallest, and altogether the funniest little voices, between a squeak and a whistle, that I ever heard in all the days of my existence.

“Hey! Excuse me! That’s quite polite, I must say!” said the bundle, in one of the smallest and definitely the funniest little voices, somewhere between a squeak and a whistle, that I’ve ever heard in my whole life.

“Ahem! rather civil that, I should observe.”

“Ahem! that’s quite polite, I should say.”

I fairly shouted with terror, and made off, at a tangent, into the farthest extremity of the room.

I screamed in terror and dashed off to the farthest corner of the room.

“God bless me! my dear fellow,” here again whistled the bundle, “what—what—what—why, what is the matter? I really believe you don’t know me at all.”

“God bless me! my dear fellow,” the bundle whistled again, “what—what—what—why, what is going on? I honestly think you don’t know me at all.”

What could I say to all this—what could I? I staggered into an arm-chair, and, with staring eyes and open mouth, awaited the solution of the wonder.

What could I say to all this—what could I? I collapsed into an armchair, and, with wide eyes and my mouth hanging open, I waited for the mystery to unfold.

“Strange you shouldn’t know me though, isn’t it?” presently re-squeaked the nondescript, which I now perceived was performing, upon the floor, some inexplicable evolution, very analogous to the drawing on of a stocking. There was only a single leg, however, apparent.

“Isn’t it weird that you don’t know me?” the plain-looking figure squeaked again, which I now realized was moving on the floor in a strange manner, quite similar to putting on a stocking. However, there was only one leg visible.

“Strange you shouldn’t know me, though, isn’t it? Pompey, bring me that leg!” Here Pompey handed the bundle, a very capital cork leg, already dressed, which it screwed on in a trice; and then it stood up before my eyes.

“Isn’t it weird that you don’t know me? Pompey, bring me that leg!” Pompey handed over the bundle, a really great cork leg, already dressed, which he attached in no time; and then it stood up right in front of me.

“And a bloody action it was,” continued the thing, as if in a soliloquy; “but then one mustn’t fight with the Bugaboos and Kickapoos, and think of coming off with a mere scratch. Pompey, I’ll thank you now for that arm. Thomas” [turning to me] “is decidedly the best hand at a cork leg; but if you should ever want an arm, my dear fellow, you must really let me recommend you to Bishop.” Here Pompey screwed on an arm.

“And it was a brutal fight,” continued the thing, as if talking to itself; “but you shouldn’t mess with the Bugaboos and Kickapoos and expect to walk away with just a scratch. Pompey, I appreciate that arm now. Thomas” [turning to me] “is definitely the best at making a cork leg; but if you ever need an arm, my friend, you really should consider Bishop.” Here, Pompey attached an arm.

“We had rather hot work of it, that you may say. Now, you dog, slip on my shoulders and bosom! Pettitt makes the best shoulders, but for a bosom you will have to go to Ducrow.”

“We had a pretty tough time with it, you could say. Now, you dog, settle on my shoulders and chest! Pettitt makes the best shoulders, but for a chest, you’ll have to go to Ducrow.”

“Bosom!” said I.

"Boob!" I said.

“Pompey, will you never be ready with that wig? Scalping is a rough process after all; but then you can procure such a capital scratch at De L’Orme’s.”

“Pompey, will you ever be ready with that wig? Getting a haircut is a tough job, but you can really get a great scratch at De L’Orme’s.”

“Scratch!”

"Scratched!"

“Now, you nigger, my teeth! For a good set of these you had better go to Parmly’s at once; high prices, but excellent work. I swallowed some very capital articles, though, when the big Bugaboo rammed me down with the butt end of his rifle.”

“Now, you black, my teeth! For a good set of these you’d better go to Parmly’s right away; they’re pricey, but they do great work. I swallowed some really fantastic stuff, though, when the big Bugaboo slammed me down with the butt of his rifle.”

“Butt end! ram down!! my eye!!”

“Butt end! Ram down!! My eye!!”

“O yes, by-the-by, my eye—here, Pompey, you scamp, screw it in ! Those Kickapoos are not so very slow at a gouge; but he’s a belied man, that Dr. Williams, after all; you can’t imagine how well I see with the eyes of his make.”

“O yes, by the way, my eye—here, Pompey, you rascal, screw it in! Those Kickapoos aren't really that slow at taking advantage; but that Dr. Williams is actually a good guy, after all; you can’t believe how well I can see with eyes like his.”

I now began very clearly to perceive that the object before me was nothing more nor less than my new acquaintance, Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C. Smith. The manipulations of Pompey had made, I must confess, a very striking difference in the appearance of the personal man. The voice, however, still puzzled me no little; but even this apparent mystery was speedily cleared up.

I now clearly realized that what was in front of me was nothing more than my new acquaintance, Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C. Smith. Pompey's touch had made a significant change in his appearance. The voice, though, still confused me a bit; but even this mystery was quickly resolved.

“Pompey, you black rascal,” squeaked the General, “I really do believe you would let me go out without my palate.”

“Pompey, you sneaky rascal,” squeaked the General, “I really do believe you would let me go out without my taste buds.”

Hereupon, the negro, grumbling out an apology, went up to his master, opened his mouth with the knowing air of a horse-jockey, and adjusted therein a somewhat singular-looking machine, in a very dexterous manner, that I could not altogether comprehend. The alteration, however, in the entire expression of the General’s countenance was instantaneous and surprising. When he again spoke, his voice had resumed all that rich melody and strength which I had noticed upon our original introduction.

Here, the black man, mumbling an apology, approached his master, opened his mouth with the confident demeanor of a horse jockey, and deftly set up a rather strange-looking device inside, which I couldn't fully understand. The change in the General's expression was immediate and remarkable. When he spoke again, his voice had returned to the rich melody and strength that I had noticed during our first meeting.

“D—n the vagabonds!” said he, in so clear a tone that I positively started at the change, “D—n the vagabonds! they not only knocked in the roof of my mouth, but took the trouble to cut off at least seven-eighths of my tongue. There isn’t Bonfanti’s equal, however, in America, for really good articles of this description. I can recommend you to him with confidence,” [here the General bowed,] “and assure you that I have the greatest pleasure in so doing.”

“Damn the wanderers!” he exclaimed, his voice so clear that I was startled by the sudden change. “Damn the wanderers! They not only knocked the roof of my mouth, but they also went as far as to cut off at least seven-eighths of my tongue. However, there’s no one like Bonfanti in America for truly good products in this category. I can confidently recommend him to you,” [here the General bowed], “and I assure you that it brings me great pleasure to do so.”

I acknowledged his kindness in my best manner, and took leave of him at once, with a perfect understanding of the true state of affairs—with a full comprehension of the mystery which had troubled me so long. It was evident. It was a clear case. Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C. Smith was the man—was the man that was used up.

I thanked him for his kindness in the best way I could and said goodbye right away, fully understanding the real situation and the mystery that had confused me for so long. It was clear. It was obvious. Brevet Brigadier General John A. B. C. Smith was the one—was the one who was used up.

THE BUSINESS MAN

Method is the soul of business.—OLD SAYING.

Method is the essence of business. —Old Saying.

I am a business man. I am a methodical man. Method is the thing, after all. But there are no people I more heartily despise than your eccentric fools who prate about method without understanding it; attending strictly to its letter, and violating its spirit. These fellows are always doing the most out-of-the-way things in what they call an orderly manner. Now here, I conceive, is a positive paradox. True method appertains to the ordinary and the obvious alone, and cannot be applied to the outré. What definite idea can a body attach to such expressions as “methodical Jack o’ Dandy,” or “a systematical Will o’ the Wisp”?

I’m a businessman. I’m a methodical person. Method is what matters, after all. But there’s no one I despise more than those eccentric fools who talk about method without truly understanding it; they focus strictly on the rules while completely missing the point. These guys always engage in the most unusual activities in what they call an orderly way. Now, I believe this is a true contradiction. Real method applies only to the ordinary and the obvious, and it can’t be used for the weird. What clear idea can anyone attach to phrases like “methodical Jack o’ Dandy” or “a systematic Will o’ the Wisp”?

My notions upon this head might not have been so clear as they are, but for a fortunate accident which happened to me when I was a very little boy. A good-hearted old Irish nurse (whom I shall not forget in my will) took me up one day by the heels, when I was making more noise than was necessary, and swinging me round two or three times, d—d my eyes for “a skreeking little spalpeen,” and then knocked my head into a cocked hat against the bedpost. This, I say, decided my fate, and made my fortune. A bump arose at once on my sinciput, and turned out to be as pretty an organ of order as one shall see on a summer’s day. Hence that positive appetite for system and regularity which has made me the distinguished man of business that I am.

My ideas on this matter might not have been as clear as they are now if it weren't for a lucky accident that happened when I was just a little kid. A kind-hearted old Irish nurse (who I’ll always remember in my will) picked me up by the heels one day when I was making way too much noise. She swung me around a few times, called me a “screaming little rascal,” and then bumped my head hard against the bedpost. This, I believe, changed my fate and shaped my future. A bump formed on my forehead, and it turned out to be quite the little organ of order. This is where my strong desire for system and organization comes from, which has made me the successful businessman that I am.

If there is any thing on earth I hate, it is a genius. Your geniuses are all arrant asses—the greater the genius the greater the ass—and to this rule there is no exception whatever. Especially, you cannot make a man of business out of a genius, any more than money out of a Jew, or the best nutmegs out of pine-knots. The creatures are always going off at a tangent into some fantastic employment, or ridiculous speculation, entirely at variance with the “fitness of things,” and having no business whatever to be considered as a business at all. Thus you may tell these characters immediately by the nature of their occupations. If you ever perceive a man setting up as a merchant or a manufacturer, or going into the cotton or tobacco trade, or any of those eccentric pursuits; or getting to be a drygoods dealer, or soap-boiler, or something of that kind; or pretending to be a lawyer, or a blacksmith, or a physician—any thing out of the usual way—you may set him down at once as a genius, and then, according to the rule-of-three, he’s an ass.

If there's anything on earth I can't stand, it's a genius. All geniuses are complete fools—the smarter they are, the bigger the fool—and there's no exception to this rule. You can't turn a genius into a businessman any more than you can make money from a Jew or the best nutmeg from pine knots. These people always veer off into some wild projects or ridiculous schemes that completely clash with what's considered normal and shouldn't be thought of as legitimate business. You can easily spot these types by what they choose to do. If you ever see a guy trying to be a merchant or a manufacturer, or getting involved in the cotton or tobacco trade, or any of those oddball pursuits; or becoming a dry goods dealer, or a soap maker, or something similar; or pretending to be a lawyer, a blacksmith, or a doctor—anything outside the norm—you can immediately mark him down as a genius, and according to the rule of three, he’s a fool.

Now I am not in any respect a genius, but a regular business man. My day-book and ledger will evince this in a minute. They are well kept, though I say it myself; and, in my general habits of accuracy and punctuality, I am not to be beat by a clock. Moreover, my occupations have been always made to chime in with the ordinary habitudes of my fellowmen. Not that I feel the least indebted, upon this score, to my exceedingly weak-minded parents, who, beyond doubt, would have made an arrant genius of me at last, if my guardian angel had not come, in good time, to the rescue. In biography the truth is every thing, and in autobiography it is especially so—yet I scarcely hope to be believed when I state, however solemnly, that my poor father put me, when I was about fifteen years of age, into the counting-house of what be termed “a respectable hardware and commission merchant doing a capital bit of business!” A capital bit of fiddlestick! However, the consequence of this folly was, that in two or three days, I had to be sent home to my button-headed family in a high state of fever, and with a most violent and dangerous pain in the sinciput, all around about my organ of order. It was nearly a gone case with me then—just touch-and-go for six weeks—the physicians giving me up and all that sort of thing. But, although I suffered much, I was a thankful boy in the main. I was saved from being a “respectable hardware and commission merchant, doing a capital bit of business,” and I felt grateful to the protuberance which had been the means of my salvation, as well as to the kindhearted female who had originally put these means within my reach.

I'm not a genius by any means; I'm just an ordinary businessman. My daybook and ledger would confirm that in no time. They're well organized, if I may say so myself, and I pride myself on my accuracy and punctuality—I'm as reliable as a clock. Plus, my work has always aligned with the daily lives of the people around me. Not that I owe anything to my rather simple-minded parents, who, without a doubt, would have turned me into a true genius if my guardian angel hadn't come to my rescue just in time. In biography, truth is everything, and even more so in autobiography—but I doubt anyone will believe me when I solemnly say that my poor father put me, when I was about fifteen, into the office of what was called “a respectable hardware and commission merchant doing a great deal of business!” A great deal of nonsense! As a result of this mistake, within two or three days, I had to be sent back home to my clueless family in a feverish state and suffering from excruciating pain in my forehead, right around my sense of order. At that point, it was touch-and-go for six weeks—the doctors had given up on me and all that. But even though I was in a lot of pain, I was fundamentally a grateful kid. I was saved from becoming a “respectable hardware and commission merchant, doing a great deal of business,” and I felt thankful for the bump that helped save me, as well as for the kind woman who originally made that possible for me.

The most of boys run away from home at ten or twelve years of age, but I waited till I was sixteen. I don’t know that I should have gone even then, if I had not happened to hear my old mother talk about setting me up on my own hook in the grocery way. The grocery way!—only think of that! I resolved to be off forthwith, and try and establish myself in some decent occupation, without dancing attendance any longer upon the caprices of these eccentric old people, and running the risk of being made a genius of in the end. In this project I succeeded perfectly well at the first effort, and by the time I was fairly eighteen, found myself doing an extensive and profitable business in the Tailor’s Walking-Advertisement line.

Most boys run away from home at ten or twelve, but I waited until I was sixteen. I don’t think I would have left even then if I hadn’t overheard my mother talking about helping me start my own grocery business. The grocery business!—just imagine that! I decided to leave immediately and try to establish myself in a decent job, without catering to the whims of these strange old people any longer, and risking being branded a genius in the end. I was actually successful in this plan right from the start, and by the time I turned eighteen, I found myself running a thriving and profitable business in the Tailor's Walking-Advertisement field.

I was enabled to discharge the onerous duties of this profession, only by that rigid adherence to system which formed the leading feature of my mind. A scrupulous method characterized my actions as well as my accounts. In my case it was method—not money—which made the man: at least all of him that was not made by the tailor whom I served. At nine, every morning, I called upon that individual for the clothes of the day. Ten o’clock found me in some fashionable promenade or other place of public amusement. The precise regularity with which I turned my handsome person about, so as to bring successively into view every portion of the suit upon my back, was the admiration of all the knowing men in the trade. Noon never passed without my bringing home a customer to the house of my employers, Messrs. Cut & Comeagain. I say this proudly, but with tears in my eyes—for the firm proved themselves the basest of ingrates. The little account, about which we quarreled and finally parted, cannot, in any item, be thought overcharged, by gentlemen really conversant with the nature of the business. Upon this point, however, I feel a degree of proud satisfaction in permitting the reader to judge for himself. My bill ran thus:

I was able to handle the demanding responsibilities of this job only because of my strict adherence to a system that defined my thinking. A meticulous approach marked my actions as well as my records. For me, it was method—not money—that made the man: at least all of him that wasn’t created by the tailor I worked for. Every morning at nine, I picked up my clothes from that person. By ten o’clock, I was at some trendy spot or other place for public entertainment. The precise regularity with which I showcased my well-groomed appearance, turning to highlight every part of the suit I wore, was admired by all the savvy folks in the trade. I never let noon pass without bringing a customer back to my employers, Messrs. Cut & Comeagain. I say this with pride, though I have tears in my eyes—because the firm showed themselves to be the worst ingrates. The small account we fought over and eventually separated over cannot, by any measure, be seen as overcharged by gentlemen truly familiar with the business. On this matter, however, I take some pride in letting the reader decide for themselves. My bill went like this:

Messrs. Cut & Comeagain, Merchant Tailors.
To Peter Proffit, Walking Advertiser,
Drs.

Messrs. Cut & Comeagain, Merchant Tailors.
To Peter Proffit, Walking Advertiser,
Drs.

July 10.to promenade, as usual and customer brought home$00 25
July 11.To do do do25
July 12.To one lie, second class; damaged black cloth sold for invisible green25
July 13.To one lie, first class, extra quality and size; recommended milled satinet as broadcloth,75
July 20.To purchasing bran new paper shirt collar or dickey, to set off gray Petersham02
Aug. 15.To wearing double-padded bobtail frock, (thermometer 106 in the shade)25
Aug. 16.Standing on one leg three hours, to show off new-style strapped pants at 12 1/2 cents per leg per hour37½
Aug. 17.To promenade, as usual, and large customer brought (fat man)50
Aug. 18.To do do (medium size)25
Aug. 19.To do do (small man and bad pay)6
TOTAL$2 95½

The item chiefly disputed in this bill was the very moderate charge of two pennies for the dickey. Upon my word of honor, this was not an unreasonable price for that dickey. It was one of the cleanest and prettiest little dickeys I ever saw; and I have good reason to believe that it effected the sale of three Petershams. The elder partner of the firm, however, would allow me only one penny of the charge, and took it upon himself to show in what manner four of the same sized conveniences could be got out of a sheet of foolscap. But it is needless to say that I stood upon the principle of the thing. Business is business, and should be done in a business way. There was no system whatever in swindling me out of a penny—a clear fraud of fifty per cent—no method in any respect. I left at once the employment of Messrs. Cut & Comeagain, and set up in the Eye-Sore line by myself—one of the most lucrative, respectable, and independent of the ordinary occupations.

The main point of contention in this bill was a very small charge of two pennies for the dickey. Honestly, this wasn't an unreasonable price for that dickey. It was one of the cleanest and prettiest little dickeys I’ve ever seen, and I firmly believe it helped sell three Petershams. However, the older partner of the firm would only give me one penny of the charge and insisted on demonstrating how four of the same-sized items could be made from a sheet of foolscap. But there was no way I was going to back down on principle. Business is business and should be handled properly. There was no system at all in cheating me out of a penny—a clear fraud of fifty percent—no method to it in any way. I immediately left the employment of Messrs. Cut & Comeagain and started my own Eye-Sore venture—one of the most profitable, respectable, and independent ordinary occupations.

My strict integrity, economy, and rigorous business habits, here again came into play. I found myself driving a flourishing trade, and soon became a marked man upon “Change.” The truth is, I never dabbled in flashy matters, but jogged on in the good old sober routine of the calling—a calling in which I should, no doubt, have remained to the present hour, but for a little accident which happened to me in the prosecution of one of the usual business operations of the profession. Whenever a rich old hunks or prodigal heir or bankrupt corporation gets into the notion of putting up a palace, there is no such thing in the world as stopping either of them, and this every intelligent person knows. The fact in question is indeed the basis of the Eye-Sore trade. As soon, therefore, as a building-project is fairly afoot by one of these parties, we merchants secure a nice corner of the lot in contemplation, or a prime little situation just adjoining, or tight in front. This done, we wait until the palace is half-way up, and then we pay some tasty architect to run us up an ornamental mud hovel, right against it; or a Down-East or Dutch Pagoda, or a pig-sty, or an ingenious little bit of fancy work, either Esquimau, Kickapoo, or Hottentot. Of course we can’t afford to take these structures down under a bonus of five hundred per cent upon the prime cost of our lot and plaster. Can we? I ask the question. I ask it of business men. It would be irrational to suppose that we can. And yet there was a rascally corporation which asked me to do this very thing—this very thing! I did not reply to their absurd proposition, of course; but I felt it a duty to go that same night, and lamp-black the whole of their palace. For this the unreasonable villains clapped me into jail; and the gentlemen of the Eye-Sore trade could not well avoid cutting my connection when I came out.

My strict integrity, frugality, and discipline in business came into play once again. I found myself running a successful trade and soon became a well-known figure on “Change.” The truth is, I never got involved in flashy ventures but continued on the steady path of my profession—a profession I would likely still be in today if not for a little incident that occurred during one of my usual business activities. Whenever a wealthy old miser, a reckless heir, or a bankrupt company decides to build a mansion, there’s no stopping them, and everyone knows that. This fact is actually the foundation of the Eye-Sore trade. As soon as a building project is underway by any of these parties, we merchants secure a prime piece of land nearby or right in front. Once that’s done, we wait until the mansion is half-built and then hire a fashionable architect to throw up an ornamental structure right next to it; it could be an East Coast or Dutch pagoda, a pig pen, or some clever decorative piece in an Eskimo, Kickapoo, or Hottentot style. Of course, we can’t just tear down these buildings without a payoff of five hundred percent on the original cost of our land and materials. Can we? I pose this question to businesspeople. It would be unreasonable to think we could. And yet, there was a shady corporation that asked me to do exactly that—exactly that! I didn’t respond to their ridiculous offer, of course; instead, I felt it was my duty to go that very night and cover their entire mansion in lamp-black. For this, those unreasonable scoundrels threw me in jail, and the gentlemen of the Eye-Sore trade had no choice but to cut ties with me when I got out.

The Assault-and-Battery business, into which I was now forced to adventure for a livelihood, was somewhat ill-adapted to the delicate nature of my constitution; but I went to work in it with a good heart, and found my account here, as heretofore, in those stern habits of methodical accuracy which had been thumped into me by that delightful old nurse—I would indeed be the basest of men not to remember her well in my will. By observing, as I say, the strictest system in all my dealings, and keeping a well-regulated set of books, I was enabled to get over many serious difficulties, and, in the end, to establish myself very decently in the profession. The truth is, that few individuals, in any line, did a snugger little business than I. I will just copy a page or so out of my Day-Book; and this will save me the necessity of blowing my own trumpet—a contemptible practice of which no high-minded man will be guilty. Now, the Day-Book is a thing that don’t lie.

The assault-and-battery business, which I was now forced to enter for a living, was not really suited to the delicate nature of my health; but I approached it with a positive attitude and found, as before, that my strict habits of methodical accuracy—instilled in me by that wonderful old nurse— served me well. I would truly be a terrible person not to remember her kindly in my will. By sticking to a strict system in all my transactions and maintaining a well-organized set of records, I was able to overcome many serious challenges and eventually establish myself quite well in the profession. The truth is, few people in any field ran a cozier little business than I did. I’ll just copy a page or so from my Day-Book; this will eliminate the need for me to brag about myself—a despicable practice that no respectable person would engage in. Now, the Day-Book is a thing that doesn’t lie.

“Jan. 1.—New Year’s Day. Met Snap in the street, groggy. Mem—he’ll do. Met Gruff shortly afterward, blind drunk. Mem—he’ll answer, too. Entered both gentlemen in my Ledger, and opened a running account with each.

“Jan. 1.—New Year’s Day. Bumped into Snap on the street, looking a bit out of it. Note—he’ll work. Ran into Gruff not long after, completely wasted. Note—he’ll work, too. Jotted both guys down in my Ledger and started a running account with each.”

“Jan. 2.—Saw Snap at the Exchange, and went up and trod on his toe. Doubled his fist and knocked me down. Good!—got up again. Some trifling difficulty with Bag, my attorney. I want the damages at a thousand, but he says that for so simple a knock down we can’t lay them at more than five hundred. Mem—must get rid of Bag—no system at all.

“Jan. 2.—Saw Snap at the Exchange and went up and stepped on his toe. He balled up his fist and knocked me down. Great!—got back up again. Had some minor issues with Bag, my lawyer. I want a thousand in damages, but he says that for such a simple knockdown we can’t ask for more than five hundred. Note—need to get rid of Bag—no system at all.”

“Jan. 3.—Went to the theatre, to look for Gruff. Saw him sitting in a side box, in the second tier, between a fat lady and a lean one. Quizzed the whole party through an opera-glass, till I saw the fat lady blush and whisper to G. Went round, then, into the box, and put my nose within reach of his hand. Wouldn’t pull it—no go. Blew it, and tried again—no go. Sat down then, and winked at the lean lady, when I had the high satisfaction of finding him lift me up by the nape of the neck, and fling me over into the pit. Neck dislocated, and right leg capitally splintered. Went home in high glee, drank a bottle of champagne, and booked the young man for five thousand. Bag says it’ll do.

“Jan. 3.—I went to the theater to look for Gruff. I saw him sitting in a side box on the second tier, between a heavyset lady and a skinny one. I used an opera glass to scrutinize the whole group until I noticed the heavyset lady blush and whisper to G. I then walked around to the box and put my nose close to his hand. He wouldn’t pull it—no luck. I blew it and tried again—still no luck. I sat down and winked at the skinny lady, when I was pleasantly surprised to find him lift me up by the back of my neck and toss me into the pit. My neck got dislocated, and my right leg was badly broken. I went home feeling quite pleased, drank a bottle of champagne, and booked the young man for five thousand. The bag says it’ll work out.”

“Feb. 15.—Compromised the case of Mr. Snap. Amount entered in Journal—fifty cents—which see.

“Feb. 15.—Resolved the situation with Mr. Snap. Amount logged in the Journal—fifty cents—which see.”

“Feb. 16.—Cast by that ruffian, Gruff, who made me a present of five dollars. Costs of suit, four dollars and twenty-five cents. Nett profit,—see Journal,—seventy-five cents.”

“Feb. 16.—I was tricked by that thug, Gruff, who gave me five dollars. The cost of the suit was four dollars and twenty-five cents. Net profit—see Journal—seventy-five cents.”

Now, here is a clear gain, in a very brief period, of no less than one dollar and twenty-five cents—this is in the mere cases of Snap and Gruff; and I solemnly assure the reader that these extracts are taken at random from my Day-Book.

Now, here’s a clear profit, in a very short time, of at least one dollar and twenty-five cents—this is based on just the cases of Snap and Gruff; and I can assure the reader that these examples are pulled at random from my Day-Book.

It’s an old saying, and a true one, however, that money is nothing in comparison with health. I found the exactions of the profession somewhat too much for my delicate state of body; and, discovering, at last, that I was knocked all out of shape, so that I didn’t know very well what to make of the matter, and so that my friends, when they met me in the street, couldn’t tell that I was Peter Proffit at all, it occurred to me that the best expedient I could adopt was to alter my line of business. I turned my attention, therefore, to Mud-Dabbling, and continued it for some years.

It’s an old saying, and a true one, that money means nothing compared to health. I found the demands of my profession too much for my fragile health; and, ultimately realizing that I was completely out of sorts, to the point where I didn’t even recognize myself, and my friends couldn’t tell I was Peter Proffit when they saw me on the street, I decided the best thing to do was to change my career. So, I shifted my focus to Mud-Dabbling and pursued it for several years.

The worst of this occupation is, that too many people take a fancy to it, and the competition is in consequence excessive. Every ignoramus of a fellow who finds that he hasn’t brains in sufficient quantity to make his way as a walking advertiser, or an eye-sore prig, or a salt-and-batter man, thinks, of course, that he’ll answer very well as a dabbler of mud. But there never was entertained a more erroneous idea than that it requires no brains to mud-dabble. Especially, there is nothing to be made in this way without method. I did only a retail business myself, but my old habits of system carried me swimmingly along. I selected my street-crossing, in the first place, with great deliberation, and I never put down a broom in any part of the town but that. I took care, too, to have a nice little puddle at hand, which I could get at in a minute. By these means I got to be well known as a man to be trusted; and this is one-half the battle, let me tell you, in trade. Nobody ever failed to pitch me a copper, and got over my crossing with a clean pair of pantaloons. And, as my business habits, in this respect, were sufficiently understood, I never met with any attempt at imposition. I wouldn’t have put up with it, if I had. Never imposing upon any one myself, I suffered no one to play the possum with me. The frauds of the banks of course I couldn’t help. Their suspension put me to ruinous inconvenience. These, however, are not individuals, but corporations; and corporations, it is very well known, have neither bodies to be kicked nor souls to be damned.

The worst part about this job is that too many people get into it, which leads to intense competition. Every clueless person who realizes they don’t have the ability to succeed as a walking advertiser, a boring know-it-all, or a food vendor thinks they can easily become a mud dabber. But there’s no bigger misconception than the idea that you don’t need brains to dabble in mud. In fact, you can't make anything from it without a plan. I only did retail work myself, but my organized approach helped me succeed. I carefully chose my street corner, and I never set up my broom anywhere else in town. I also made sure to have a puddle nearby that I could access instantly. Because of this, I became well-known as someone trustworthy, and that’s half the battle in business. No one ever failed to give me a nickel without leaving my crossing with clean pants. Since my business practices were well understood, I never faced any attempts at trickery. I wouldn’t have tolerated it if I had. I didn’t deceive anyone, so I didn’t let anyone trick me either. Of course, I couldn’t do anything about the frauds by the banks. Their failures caused me serious trouble. However, banks aren't individuals; they're corporations, and everyone knows that corporations don’t have bodies to be kicked or souls to be damned.

I was making money at this business when, in an evil moment, I was induced to merge it in the Cur-Spattering—a somewhat analogous, but, by no means, so respectable a profession. My location, to be sure, was an excellent one, being central, and I had capital blacking and brushes. My little dog, too, was quite fat and up to all varieties of snuff. He had been in the trade a long time, and, I may say, understood it. Our general routine was this:—Pompey, having rolled himself well in the mud, sat upon end at the shop door, until he observed a dandy approaching in bright boots. He then proceeded to meet him, and gave the Wellingtons a rub or two with his wool. Then the dandy swore very much, and looked about for a boot-black. There I was, full in his view, with blacking and brushes. It was only a minute’s work, and then came a sixpence. This did moderately well for a time;—in fact, I was not avaricious, but my dog was. I allowed him a third of the profit, but he was advised to insist upon half. This I couldn’t stand—so we quarrelled and parted.

I was making money in this business when, in a questionable moment, I was convinced to join forces with the Cur-Spattering—a somewhat similar, but definitely less respectable line of work. My location was really good, being central, and I had plenty of blacking and brushes. My little dog was also quite fat and skilled in all kinds of tricks. He had been in the business for a long time and, I must say, knew what he was doing. Our usual routine was this:—Pompey, after rolling himself in the mud, would sit up straight at the shop door until he spotted a dandy coming in shiny boots. He would then rush over to greet him and give the Wellingtons a wipe or two with his fur. The dandy would curse a lot and look around for a boot-black. There I was, right in his line of sight, with blacking and brushes ready. It only took a minute of work, and then I’d get a sixpence. This went pretty well for a while;—in fact, I wasn’t greedy, but my dog was. I let him keep a third of the profits, but he was told to push for half. I couldn’t go along with that—so we argued and went our separate ways.

I next tried my hand at the Organ-Grinding for a while, and may say that I made out pretty well. It is a plain, straightforward business, and requires no particular abilities. You can get a music-mill for a mere song, and to put it in order, you have but to open the works, and give them three or four smart raps with a hammer. It improves the tone of the thing, for business purposes, more than you can imagine. This done, you have only to stroll along, with the mill on your back, until you see tanbark in the street, and a knocker wrapped up in buckskin. Then you stop and grind; looking as if you meant to stop and grind till doomsday. Presently a window opens, and somebody pitches you a sixpence, with a request to “Hush up and go on,” etc. I am aware that some grinders have actually afforded to “go on” for this sum; but for my part, I found the necessary outlay of capital too great to permit of my “going on” under a shilling.

I then tried my hand at organ-grinding for a bit and can say that I did pretty well. It’s a straightforward job that doesn’t require any special skills. You can get a music box for almost nothing, and to get it working, you just need to open it up and give a few smart taps with a hammer. It really improves the sound of it for business purposes more than you’d think. Once that’s done, you just walk around with the box on your back until you see tanbark in the street and a knocker wrapped in buckskin. Then you stop and start grinding, looking like you plan to keep grinding forever. Soon enough, a window opens, and someone throws you a sixpence, telling you to "be quiet and keep playing," etc. I know some grinders have actually managed to keep playing for that amount, but for me, the necessary expenses were too high to allow me to keep going for under a shilling.

At this occupation I did a good deal; but, somehow, I was not quite satisfied, and so finally abandoned it. The truth is, I labored under the disadvantage of having no monkey—and American streets are so muddy, and a Democratic rabble is so obstrusive, and so full of demnition mischievous little boys.

At this job, I did quite a bit, but for some reason, I wasn't entirely satisfied and eventually quit. The truth is, I struggled with the fact that I didn't have a monkey—and American streets are so muddy, and the rowdy crowd is so intrusive, and full of annoyingly mischievous little boys.

I was now out of employment for some months, but at length succeeded, by dint of great interest, in procuring a situation in the Sham-Post. The duties, here, are simple, and not altogether unprofitable. For example:—very early in the morning I had to make up my packet of sham letters. Upon the inside of each of these I had to scrawl a few lines on any subject which occurred to me as sufficiently mysterious—signing all the epistles Tom Dobson, or Bobby Tompkins, or anything in that way. Having folded and sealed all, and stamped them with sham postmarks—New Orleans, Bengal, Botany Bay, or any other place a great way off—I set out, forthwith, upon my daily route, as if in a very great hurry. I always called at the big houses to deliver the letters, and receive the postage. Nobody hesitates at paying for a letter—especially for a double one—people are such fools—and it was no trouble to get round a corner before there was time to open the epistles. The worst of this profession was, that I had to walk so much and so fast; and so frequently to vary my route. Besides, I had serious scruples of conscience. I can’t bear to hear innocent individuals abused—and the way the whole town took to cursing Tom Dobson and Bobby Tompkins was really awful to hear. I washed my hands of the matter in disgust.

I had been out of a job for several months, but eventually, through a lot of connections, I managed to get a position at the Sham-Post. The responsibilities there are pretty straightforward and not entirely useless. For instance, every morning, I had to prepare a bundle of fake letters. Inside each one, I would quickly jot down a few lines on whatever topic seemed mysterious enough—signing them as Tom Dobson, Bobby Tompkins, or something similar. After folding, sealing, and stamping them with fake postmarks—like New Orleans, Bengal, Botany Bay, or any other far-off place—I would head out on my daily route as if I was in a huge rush. I always stopped at the big houses to deliver the letters and collect the postage. No one hesitates to pay for a letter—especially for a double one—people are so gullible—and it was easy to turn a corner before they had a chance to open the letters. The toughest part of this job was that I had to walk so much and so quickly, and I had to change my route frequently. Plus, I had serious moral qualms. I can’t stand hearing innocent people being slandered—and the way everyone in town started cursing Tom Dobson and Bobby Tompkins was really horrible to listen to. I was completely fed up with the whole situation.

My eighth and last speculation has been in the Cat-Growing way. I have found that a most pleasant and lucrative business, and, really, no trouble at all. The country, it is well known, has become infested with cats—so much so of late, that a petition for relief, most numerously and respectably signed, was brought before the Legislature at its late memorable session. The Assembly, at this epoch, was unusually well-informed, and, having passed many other wise and wholesome enactments, it crowned all with the Cat-Act. In its original form, this law offered a premium for cat-heads (fourpence a-piece), but the Senate succeeded in amending the main clause, so as to substitute the word “tails” for “heads.” This amendment was so obviously proper, that the House concurred in it nem. con.

My eighth and final idea has been in the cat-breeding business. I've found it to be a really enjoyable and profitable venture, and honestly, it requires very little effort. It's well-known that the country has become overrun with cats—so much so that there was a petition for relief, signed by a large and respectable group, presented to the Legislature during its recent session. The Assembly at that time was unusually knowledgeable, and after passing several other wise and beneficial laws, they topped it all off with the Cat-Act. In its original form, this law offered a reward for cat heads (fourpence each), but the Senate managed to amend it so that “tails” replaced “heads.” This change was so obviously appropriate that the House agreed to it unanimously.

As soon as the governor had signed the bill, I invested my whole estate in the purchase of Toms and Tabbies. At first I could only afford to feed them upon mice (which are cheap), but they fulfilled the scriptural injunction at so marvellous a rate, that I at length considered it my best policy to be liberal, and so indulged them in oysters and turtle. Their tails, at a legislative price, now bring me in a good income; for I have discovered a way, in which, by means of Macassar oil, I can force three crops in a year. It delights me to find, too, that the animals soon get accustomed to the thing, and would rather have the appendages cut off than otherwise. I consider myself, therefore, a made man, and am bargaining for a country-seat on the Hudson.

As soon as the governor signed the bill, I invested my entire fortune in buying Toms and Tabbies. At first, I could only afford to feed them on mice (which are cheap), but they fulfilled the biblical requirement at such an impressive rate that I eventually thought it was best to be generous and treated them to oysters and turtle. Their tails, at a legislative price, now bring in a good income for me because I've figured out a way, using Macassar oil, to get three crops a year. I’m also happy to see that the animals quickly get used to it and would rather have their tails cut off than anything else. So, I consider myself set for life and am looking to buy a country house on the Hudson.

THE LANDSCAPE GARDEN

The garden like a lady fair was cut
    That lay as if she slumbered in delight,
And to the open skies her eyes did shut;
    The azure fields of heaven were ’sembled right
    In a large round set with flow’rs of light:
The flowers de luce and the round sparks of dew
That hung upon their azure leaves, did show
Like twinkling stars that sparkle in the ev’ning blue.
                    —GILES FLETCHER

The garden, like a beautiful woman, was trimmed
    As if she were sleeping peacefully,
And her eyes were closed to the open sky;
    The blue fields of heaven were gathered beautifully
    In a large circular arrangement filled with flowers of light:
The iris flowers and the shimmering drops of dew
That hung on their blue leaves looked
Like twinkling stars sparkling in the evening blue.
                    —GILES FLETCHER

No more remarkable man ever lived than my friend, the young Ellison. He was remarkable in the entire and continuous profusion of good gifts ever lavished upon him by fortune. From his cradle to his grave, a gale of the blandest prosperity bore him along. Nor do I use the word Prosperity in its mere wordly or external sense. I mean it as synonymous with happiness. The person of whom I speak, seemed born for the purpose of foreshadowing the wild doctrines of Turgot, Price, Priestley, and Condorcet—of exemplifying, by individual instance, what has been deemed the mere chimera of the perfectionists. In the brief existence of Ellison, I fancy, that I have seen refuted the dogma—that in man’s physical and spiritual nature, lies some hidden principle, the antagonist of Bliss. An intimate and anxious examination of his career, has taught me to understand that, in general, from the violation of a few simple laws of Humanity, arises the Wretchedness of mankind; that, as a species, we have in our possession the as yet unwrought elements of Content,—and that even now, in the present blindness and darkness of all idea on the great question of the Social Condition, it is not impossible that Man, the individual, under certain unusual and highly fortuitous conditions, may be happy.

No one was more remarkable than my friend, the young Ellison. He stood out because of the constant stream of great gifts that fortune showered on him. From the day he was born to the day he died, he was carried along by a strong wind of the most gentle success. And I don't just mean success in the ordinary or external sense; I mean it as happiness. The person I'm talking about seemed destined to reflect the bold ideas of Turgot, Price, Priestley, and Condorcet—demonstrating, through his own life, what some have considered the mere fantasy of perfectionists. In Ellison’s brief life, I believe I witnessed a challenge to the idea that hidden within man's physical and spiritual nature lies something that opposes happiness. A close and careful look at his life has taught me that, generally, the misery of humanity arises from breaking a few simple laws of Humanity; that as a species, we hold the untapped potential for Contentment—and even now, amid our confusion and ignorance about the great issues surrounding Social Conditions, it’s not impossible for an individual, under certain rare and fortunate circumstances, to find happiness.

With opinions such as these was my young friend fully imbued; and thus is it especially worthy of observation that the uninterrupted enjoyment which distinguished his life was in great part the result of preconcert. It is, indeed evident, that with less of the instinctive philosophy which, now and then, stands so well in the stead of experience, Mr. Ellison would have found himself precipitated, by the very extraordinary successes of his life, into the common vortex of Unhappiness which yawns for those of preeminent endowments. But it is by no means my present object to pen an essay on Happiness. The ideas of my friend may be summed up in a few words. He admitted but four unvarying laws, or rather elementary principles, of Bliss. That which he considered chief, was (strange to say!) the simple and purely physical one of free exercise in the open air. “The health,” he said, “attainable by other means than this is scarcely worth the name.” He pointed to the tillers of the earth—the only people who, as a class, are proverbially more happy than others—and then he instanced the high ecstasies of the fox-hunter. His second principle was the love of woman. His third was the contempt of ambition. His fourth was an object of unceasing pursuit; and he held that, other things being equal, the extent of happiness was proportioned to the spirituality of this object.

My young friend was completely influenced by opinions like these, and it’s worth noting that the constant enjoyment that characterized his life was largely the result of careful planning. It’s clear that if Mr. Ellison hadn’t possessed a bit of that instinctive wisdom that occasionally acts as a substitute for real experience, the extraordinary successes he experienced might have thrown him into the common trap of unhappiness that often consumes those with exceptional talents. However, I don’t intend to write an essay on happiness right now. My friend’s ideas can be summed up in a few words. He recognized just four unchanging laws or fundamental principles of happiness. The one he considered most important was the surprisingly simple and purely physical act of exercising freely outdoors. “The health,” he said, “that can be gained through anything else is hardly worth mentioning.” He pointed to farmers—generally thought to be happier than most—and also mentioned the intense joy of fox hunters. His second principle was the love of a woman. His third was a disdain for ambition. His fourth was the pursuit of a meaningful goal; he believed that, all else being equal, the degree of happiness is proportional to the spirituality of that goal.

I have said that Ellison was remarkable in the continuous profusion of good gifts lavished upon him by Fortune. In personal grace and beauty he exceeded all men. His intellect was of that order to which the attainment of knowledge is less a labor than a necessity and an intuition. His family was one of the most illustrious of the empire. His bride was the loveliest and most devoted of women. His possessions had been always ample; but, upon the attainment of his one and twentieth year, it was discovered that one of those extraordinary freaks of Fate had been played in his behalf which startle the whole social world amid which they occur, and seldom fail radically to alter the entire moral constitution of those who are their objects. It appears that about one hundred years prior to Mr. Ellison’s attainment of his majority, there had died, in a remote province, one Mr. Seabright Ellison. This gentlemen had amassed a princely fortune, and, having no very immediate connexions, conceived the whim of suffering his wealth to accumulate for a century after his decease. Minutely and sagaciously directing the various modes of investment, he bequeathed the aggregate amount to the nearest of blood, bearing the name Ellison, who should be alive at the end of the hundred years. Many futile attempts had been made to set aside this singular bequest; their ex post facto character rendered them abortive; but the attention of a jealous government was aroused, and a decree finally obtained, forbidding all similar accumulations. This act did not prevent young Ellison, upon his twenty-first birth-day, from entering into possession, as the heir of his ancestor, Seabright, of a fortune of four hundred and fifty millions of dollars. {*1}

I have mentioned that Ellison was exceptional in the constant outpouring of good fortune he received from Luck. In personal charm and attractiveness, he surpassed everyone. His intelligence was such that gaining knowledge felt more like a necessity and an instinct than hard work. His family was one of the most distinguished in the empire. His wife was the most beautiful and devoted of women. He had always had plenty, but when he turned twenty-one, it was revealed that a remarkable twist of Fate had played out in his favor, one that shocks the entire social circle and often fundamentally changes the lives of those it affects. About a hundred years before Mr. Ellison came of age, a certain Mr. Seabright Ellison passed away in a distant province. This gentleman had accumulated a vast fortune and, having no close relatives, decided to let his wealth grow for a century after his death. He carefully and wisely managed various investments and left the total amount to the closest living relative with the name Ellison at the end of the hundred years. Many unsuccessful attempts were made to challenge this unique inheritance; their retrospective nature rendered them ineffective. However, the interest of a wary government was piqued, leading to a decree that ultimately prohibited similar accumulations. This did not stop young Ellison, on his twenty-first birthday, from claiming the fortune of four hundred and fifty million dollars as the heir of his ancestor, Seabright. {*1}

When it had become definitely known that such was the enormous wealth inherited, there were, of course, many speculations as to the mode of its disposal. The gigantic magnitude and the immediately available nature of the sum, dazzled and bewildered all who thought upon the topic. The possessor of any appreciable amount of money might have been imagined to perform any one of a thousand things. With riches merely surpassing those of any citizen, it would have been easy to suppose him engaging to supreme excess in the fashionable extravagances of his time; or busying himself with political intrigues; or aiming at ministerial power; or purchasing increase of nobility, or devising gorgeous architectural piles; or collecting large specimens of Virtu; or playing the munificent patron of Letters and Art; or endowing and bestowing his name upon extensive institutions of charity. But, for the inconceivable wealth in the actual possession of the young heir, these objects and all ordinary objects were felt to be inadequate. Recourse was had to figures; and figures but sufficed to confound. It was seen, that even at three per cent, the annual income of the inheritance amounted to no less than thirteen millions and five hundred thousand dollars; which was one million and one hundred and twenty-five thousand per month; or thirty-six thousand, nine hundred and eighty-six per day, or one thousand five hundred and forty-one per hour, or six and twenty dollars for every minute that flew. Thus the usual track of supposition was thoroughly broken up. Men knew not what to imagine. There were some who even conceived that Mr. Ellison would divest himself forthwith of at least two-thirds of his fortune as of utterly superfluous opulence; enriching whole troops of his relatives by division of his superabundance.

When it was confirmed that the inherited wealth was so enormous, there were, of course, many speculations about how it would be spent. The sheer size and immediate availability of the amount dazzled and confused everyone who considered it. Anyone with even a bit of money could be imagined doing any number of things. With riches that far exceeded those of any citizen, it would have been easy to picture him getting completely caught up in the trendy excesses of his time; getting involved in political schemes; aiming for a position of power; buying titles of nobility; commissioning grand architectural projects; collecting impressive pieces of art; being a generous supporter of literature and the arts; or funding large charitable institutions that would also bear his name. But with the unimaginable wealth actually in the hands of the young heir, these ideas, along with all the usual scenarios, felt insufficient. People turned to numbers; and those numbers only served to bewilder. It was realized that even at three percent interest, the yearly income from the inheritance was no less than thirteen million five hundred thousand dollars, which broke down to one million one hundred and twenty-five thousand a month; or thirty-six thousand nine hundred and eighty-six a day; or one thousand five hundred and forty-one an hour; or twenty-six dollars for every minute that passed. Thus, the usual train of thought was completely disrupted. People didn’t know what to think. Some even speculated that Mr. Ellison would immediately give away at least two-thirds of his fortune, considering it excessive wealth, enriching many of his relatives by sharing his abundance.

I was not surprised, however, to perceive that he had long made up his mind upon a topic which had occasioned so much of discussion to his friends. Nor was I greatly astonished at the nature of his decision. In the widest and noblest sense, he was a poet. He comprehended, moreover, the true character, the august aims, the supreme majesty and dignity of the poetic sentiment. The proper gratification of the sentiment he instinctively felt to lie in the creation of novel forms of Beauty. Some peculiarities, either in his early education, or in the nature of his intellect, had tinged with what is termed materialism the whole cast of his ethical speculations; and it was this bias, perhaps, which imperceptibly led him to perceive that the most advantageous, if not the sole legitimate field for the exercise of the poetic sentiment, was to be found in the creation of novel moods of purely physical loveliness. Thus it happened that he became neither musician nor poet; if we use this latter term in its every-day acceptation. Or it might have been that he became neither the one nor the other, in pursuance of an idea of his which I have already mentioned—the idea, that in the contempt of ambition lay one of the essential principles of happiness on earth. Is it not, indeed, possible that while a high order of genius is necessarily ambitious, the highest is invariably above that which is termed ambition? And may it not thus happen that many far greater than Milton, have contentedly remained “mute and inglorious?” I believe the world has never yet seen, and that, unless through some series of accidents goading the noblest order of mind into distasteful exertion, the world will never behold, that full extent of triumphant execution, in the richer productions of Art, of which the human nature is absolutely capable.

I wasn’t surprised to see that he had already made up his mind about a topic that had sparked so much discussion among his friends. I wasn’t particularly shocked by his decision either. In the broadest and most admirable sense, he was a poet. He understood the true nature, grand ambitions, and the ultimate beauty and dignity of poetic sentiment. He instinctively felt that the best expression of this sentiment was in creating new forms of beauty. Some aspects of his early education or the nature of his intellect had colored his entire ethical perspective with what’s often called materialism; this bias might have led him to realize that the most beneficial, if not the only legitimate, area to express poetic sentiment was in creating new experiences of pure physical beauty. Because of this, he neither became a musician nor a poet, at least in the everyday sense of the word. It’s also possible that he avoided both roles because of an idea I mentioned earlier—the belief that rejecting ambition is one of the key elements of happiness on earth. Isn’t it possible that while a high level of genius is inherently ambitious, the highest level is actually beyond what we call ambition? And could it be that many who are greater than Milton have willingly remained “mute and inglorious”? I believe the world hasn’t yet seen, and likely won’t, unless some chain of events pushes the highest minds into uncomfortable effort, the full extent of remarkable achievement in the richer expressions of art that human nature can truly reach.

Mr. Ellison became neither musician nor poet; although no man lived more profoundly enamored both of Music and the Muse. Under other circumstances than those which invested him, it is not impossible that he would have become a painter. The field of sculpture, although in its nature rigidly poetical, was too limited in its extent and in its consequences, to have occupied, at any time, much of his attention. And I have now mentioned all the provinces in which even the most liberal understanding of the poetic sentiment has declared this sentiment capable of expatiating. I mean the most liberal public or recognized conception of the idea involved in the phrase “poetic sentiment.” But Mr. Ellison imagined that the richest, and altogether the most natural and most suitable province, had been blindly neglected. No definition had spoken of the Landscape-Gardener, as of the poet; yet my friend could not fail to perceive that the creation of the Landscape-Garden offered to the true muse the most magnificent of opportunities. Here was, indeed, the fairest field for the display of invention, or imagination, in the endless combining of forms of novel Beauty; the elements which should enter into combination being, at all times, and by a vast superiority, the most glorious which the earth could afford. In the multiform of the tree, and in the multicolor of the flower, he recognized the most direct and the most energetic efforts of Nature at physical loveliness. And in the direction or concentration of this effort, or, still more properly, in its adaption to the eyes which were to behold it upon earth, he perceived that he should be employing the best means—laboring to the greatest advantage—in the fulfilment of his destiny as Poet.

Mr. Ellison became neither a musician nor a poet, even though no one was more deeply in love with both Music and the Muse. Under different circumstances, he might have become a painter. The field of sculpture, while inherently poetic, was too limited in scope and impact to have captured much of his attention. I have now covered all the areas where even the broadest understanding of poetic sentiment has deemed this sentiment capable of exploring. I’m referring to the most widely accepted public or recognized idea behind the phrase “poetic sentiment.” However, Mr. Ellison believed that the richest, most natural, and most fitting area had been overlooked. No definitions recognized the Landscape-Gardener in the same way as the poet; yet my friend couldn’t help but notice that creating a Landscape-Garden provided the true muse with the most incredible opportunities. This was, indeed, the perfect canvas for showcasing invention and imagination through the limitless combination of forms of new Beauty; the elements involved, at all times and by far, were the most glorious that the earth could offer. In the various shapes of trees and the vibrant colors of flowers, he saw the most direct and powerful expressions of Nature’s physical beauty. And in directing or concentrating this effort, or more accurately, in adapting it for the eyes that would see it on earth, he realized that he would be using the best means—working to the greatest effect—in fulfilling his destiny as a Poet.

“Its adaptation to the eyes which were to behold it upon earth.” In his explanation of this phraseology, Mr. Ellison did much towards solving what has always seemed to me an enigma. I mean the fact (which none but the ignorant dispute) that no such combinations of scenery exist in Nature as the painter of genius has in his power to produce. No such Paradises are to be found in reality as have glowed upon the canvass of Claude. In the most enchanting of natural landscapes, there will always be found a defect or an excess—many excesses and defects. While the component parts may exceed, individually, the highest skill of the artist, the arrangement of the parts will always be susceptible of improvement. In short, no position can be attained, from which an artistical eye, looking steadily, will not find matter of offence, in what is technically termed the composition of a natural landscape. And yet how unintelligible is this! In all other matters we are justly instructed to regard Nature as supreme. With her details we shrink from competition. Who shall presume to imitate the colors of the tulip, or to improve the proportions of the lily of the valley? The criticism which says, of sculpture or of portraiture, that “Nature is to be exalted rather than imitated,” is in error. No pictorial or sculptural combinations of points of human loveliness, do more than approach the living and breathing human beauty as it gladdens our daily path. Byron, who often erred, erred not in saying, I’ve seen more living beauty, ripe and real, than all the nonsense of their stone ideal. In landscape alone is the principle of the critic true; and, having felt its truth here, it is but the headlong spirit of generalization which has induced him to pronounce it true throughout all the domains of Art. Having, I say, felt its truth here. For the feeling is no affectation or chimera. The mathematics afford no more absolute demonstrations, than the sentiment of his Art yields to the artist. He not only believes, but positively knows, that such and such apparently arbitrary arrangements of matter, or form, constitute, and alone constitute, the true Beauty. Yet his reasons have not yet been matured into expression. It remains for a more profound analysis than the world has yet seen, fully to investigate and express them. Nevertheless is he confirmed in his instinctive opinions, by the concurrence of all his compeers. Let a composition be defective; let an emendation be wrought in its mere arrangement of form; let this emendation be submitted to every artist in the world; by each will its necessity be admitted. And even far more than this, in remedy of the defective composition, each insulated member of the fraternity will suggest the identical emendation.

“Its adaptation to the eyes that were to see it on earth.” In explaining this phrase, Mr. Ellison did a lot to clarify what has always seemed like a mystery to me. I mean the fact (which only the uninformed argue against) that there are no combinations of scenery in Nature that a brilliant painter can’t surpass. No real-life paradises exist like those that have shone on Claude’s canvas. In even the most stunning natural landscapes, there will always be flaws or excesses—many flaws and excesses. While the individual elements might exceed the highest skills of the artist, the way those elements are arranged can always be improved. In short, from any viewpoint, an artistically trained eye looking closely will find something wrong in what we call the composition of a natural landscape. And yet, how confusing is this! In all other matters, we are rightly taught to consider Nature as the ultimate authority. When it comes to her details, we shy away from trying to compete. Who would dare to imitate the colors of a tulip or try to enhance the proportions of a lily of the valley? The criticism that claims, regarding sculpture or portraiture, that “Nature should be exalted rather than imitated,” is mistaken. No artistic or sculptural arrangement of human beauty even comes close to the living and breathing beauty that brightens our everyday lives. Byron, who often made mistakes, was right to say, I’ve seen more living beauty, ripe and real, than all the nonsense of their stone ideals. In landscape alone is the critic's principle true; and having recognized its truth here, it is just the reckless tendency to generalize that has led him to claim it’s true across all areas of Art. Having, I say, felt its truth here. For this feeling is no pretense or illusion. The mathematics provide no more absolute proof than the sentiment of his Art gives to the artist. He not only believes but knows that certain seemingly random arrangements of matter or form make up, and alone make up, the true Beauty. Yet his reasons have not yet been fully articulated. It requires a deeper analysis than the world has seen so far to thoroughly investigate and express them. Nevertheless, he is reinforced in his instinctive opinions by the agreement of all his peers. Let a composition be flawed; let an adjustment be made to its mere arrangement of form; if this adjustment is shown to every artist in the world, each one will recognize its necessity. What’s more, in fixing the flawed composition, every individual member of the artistic community will suggest the exact same adjustment.

I repeat that in landscape arrangements, or collocations alone, is the physical Nature susceptible of “exaltation” and that, therefore, her susceptibility of improvement at this one point, was a mystery which, hitherto I had been unable to solve. It was Mr. Ellison who first suggested the idea that what we regarded as improvement or exaltation of the natural beauty, was really such, as respected only the mortal or human point of view; that each alteration or disturbance of the primitive scenery might possibly effect a blemish in the picture, if we could suppose this picture viewed at large from some remote point in the heavens. “It is easily understood,” says Mr. Ellison, “that what might improve a closely scrutinized detail, might, at the same time, injure a general and more distantly observed effect.” He spoke upon this topic with warmth: regarding not so much its immediate or obvious importance (which is little), as the character of the conclusions to which it might lead, or of the collateral propositions which it might serve to corroborate or sustain. There might be a class of beings, human once, but now to humanity invisible, for whose scrutiny and for whose refined appreciation of the beautiful, more especially than for our own, had been set in order by God the great landscape-garden of the whole earth.

I’ll say it again: in terms of landscape design or arrangements alone, physical nature is capable of “exaltation.” Therefore, the mystery of her potential for improvement in this area was something I hadn’t been able to figure out until now. It was Mr. Ellison who first proposed that what we see as improvement or exaltation of natural beauty actually only applies from a human perspective. Each change or disruption to the original scenery could potentially mar the overall picture, especially if we imagine this picture viewed from some distant point in the universe. “It’s easy to see,” Mr. Ellison says, “that what might enhance a closely observed detail could simultaneously harm a broader, more distantly viewed effect.” He spoke about this passionately, focusing not just on its immediate or obvious significance (which is minimal), but on the implications it could have or the additional ideas it could support. There could be a type of being, once human but now invisible to us, for whom God has arranged the vast landscape of the entire earth, catering more to their refined appreciation of beauty than to our own.

In the course of our discussion, my young friend took occasion to quote some passages from a writer who has been supposed to have well treated this theme.

During our conversation, my young friend took the opportunity to quote some passages from a writer who is believed to have handled this topic well.

“There are, properly,” he writes, “but two styles of landscape-gardening, the natural and the artificial. One seeks to recall the original beauty of the country, by adapting its means to the surrounding scenery; cultivating trees in harmony with the hills or plain of the neighboring land; detecting and bringing into practice those nice relations of size, proportion and color which, hid from the common observer, are revealed everywhere to the experienced student of nature. The result of the natural style of gardening, is seen rather in the absence of all defects and incongruities—in the prevalence of a beautiful harmony and order, than in the creation of any special wonders or miracles. The artificial style has as many varieties as there are different tastes to gratify. It has a certain general relation to the various styles of building. There are the stately avenues and retirements of Versailles; Italian terraces; and a various mixed old English style, which bears some relation to the domestic Gothic or English Elizabethan architecture. Whatever may be said against the abuses of the artificial landscape-gardening, a mixture of pure art in a garden scene, adds to it a great beauty. This is partly pleasing to the eye, by the show of order and design, and partly moral. A terrace, with an old moss-covered balustrade, calls up at once to the eye, the fair forms that have passed there in other days. The slightest exhibition of art is an evidence of care and human interest.”

“There are really only two styles of landscape gardening,” he writes, “the natural and the artificial. One aims to restore the original beauty of the land by integrating its features into the surrounding scenery; growing trees that complement the hills or plains nearby; recognizing and applying those subtle relationships of size, proportion, and color that, while hidden from the average observer, are evident to the trained eye of nature enthusiasts. The result of the natural gardening style is seen more in the absence of defects and mismatches—in the presence of beautiful harmony and order—than in the creation of any specific wonders or miracles. The artificial style has as many variations as there are different tastes to satisfy. It generally relates to various architectural styles. There are the grand avenues and retreats of Versailles; Italian terraces; and a mix of old English styles that are somewhat connected to domestic Gothic or English Elizabethan architecture. Whatever criticisms there may be regarding the excesses of artificial landscape gardening, introducing pure artistry into a garden scene enhances its beauty. This is appealing to the eye due to the display of order and design, and it also has a moral aspect. A terrace with an old moss-covered balustrade immediately evokes images of the lovely figures that have walked there in the past. The smallest hint of art shows care and human interest.”

“From what I have already observed,” said Mr. Ellison, “you will understand that I reject the idea, here expressed, of ‘recalling the original beauty of the country.’ The original beauty is never so great as that which may be introduced. Of course, much depends upon the selection of a spot with capabilities. What is said in respect to the ‘detecting and bringing into practice those nice relations of size, proportion and color,’ is a mere vagueness of speech, which may mean much, or little, or nothing, and which guides in no degree. That the true ‘result of the natural style of gardening is seen rather in the absence of all defects and incongruities, than in the creation of any special wonders or miracles,’ is a proposition better suited to the grovelling apprehension of the herd, than to the fervid dreams of the man of genius. The merit suggested is, at best, negative, and appertains to that hobbling criticism which, in letters, would elevate Addison into apotheosis. In truth, while that merit which consists in the mere avoiding demerit, appeals directly to the understanding, and can thus be foreshadowed in Rule, the loftier merit, which breathes and flames in invention or creation, can be apprehended solely in its results. Rule applies but to the excellences of avoidance—to the virtues which deny or refrain. Beyond these the critical art can but suggest. We may be instructed to build an Odyssey, but it is in vain that we are told how to conceive a ‘Tempest,’ an ‘Inferno,’ a ‘Prometheus Bound,’ a ‘Nightingale,’ such as that of Keats, or the ‘Sensitive Plant’ of Shelley. But, the thing done, the wonder accomplished, and the capacity for apprehension becomes universal. The sophists of the negative school, who, through inability to create, have scoffed at creation, are now found the loudest in applause. What, in its chrysalis condition of principle, affronted their demure reason, never fails, in its maturity of accomplishment, to extort admiration from their instinct of the beautiful or of the sublime.

“From what I’ve noticed so far,” said Mr. Ellison, “you’ll see that I reject the idea of ‘recalling the original beauty of the country.’ The original beauty is never as impressive as what can be introduced. Of course, it all depends on choosing a spot with potential. What’s said about ‘detecting and applying those subtle relationships of size, proportion, and color’ is just vague talk that could mean a lot, a little, or nothing at all, and it doesn’t really guide us. The claim that the true ‘result of the natural style of gardening is seen more in the absence of faults and mismatches than in creating any specific wonders or miracles’ is better suited to the shallow understanding of the masses than to the passionate visions of a creative mind. The suggested merit is, at best, negative and relates to that limited criticism which would, in literature, turn Addison into a saint. In reality, the merit that comes from simply avoiding mistakes appeals directly to our understanding and can therefore be set out in rules, while the higher merit, which inspires and ignites in invention or creation, can only be understood through its outcomes. Rules apply only to the merits of avoidance—to the virtues that deny or hold back. Beyond these, critical art can only suggest. We might be told to build an Odyssey, but it’s useless to be instructed on how to realize a ‘Tempest,’ an ‘Inferno,’ a ‘Prometheus Bound,’ a ‘Nightingale’ like Keats’s, or Shelley’s ‘Sensitive Plant.’ However, once something is done and a wonder achieved, the ability to appreciate it becomes universal. The critics of the negative school, who, due to their inability to create, have mocked creation, are now often the loudest in their praise. What, in its early stage as a principle, challenged their reserved reason, always manages, in its fully realized form, to evoke admiration from their instinct for beauty or the sublime.”

“Our author’s observations on the artificial style of gardening,” continued Mr. Ellison, “are less objectionable. ‘A mixture of pure art in a garden scene, adds to it a great beauty.’ This is just, and the reference to the sense of human interest is equally so. I repeat that the principle here expressed, is incontrovertible; but there may be something even beyond it. There may be an object in full keeping with the principle suggested—an object unattainable by the means ordinarily in possession of mankind, yet which, if attained, would lend a charm to the landscape-garden immeasurably surpassing that which a merely human interest could bestow. The true poet possessed of very unusual pecuniary resources, might possibly, while retaining the necessary idea of art or interest or culture, so imbue his designs at once with extent and novelty of Beauty, as to convey the sentiment of spiritual interference. It will be seen that, in bringing about such result, he secures all the advantages of interest or design, while relieving his work of all the harshness and technicality of Art. In the most rugged of wildernesses—in the most savage of the scenes of pure Nature—there is apparent the art of a Creator; yet is this art apparent only to reflection; in no respect has it the obvious force of a feeling. Now, if we imagine this sense of the Almighty Design to be harmonized in a measurable degree, if we suppose a landscape whose combined strangeness, vastness, definitiveness, and magnificence, shall inspire the idea of culture, or care, or superintendence, on the part of intelligences superior yet akin to humanity—then the sentiment of interest is preserved, while the Art is made to assume the air of an intermediate or secondary Nature—a Nature which is not God, nor an emanation of God, but which still is Nature, in the sense that it is the handiwork of the angels that hover between man and God.”

“Our author’s observations on the artificial style of gardening,” continued Mr. Ellison, “are less objectionable. ‘A mix of pure art in a garden scene adds great beauty to it.’ This is true, and the mention of human interest is just as valid. I want to emphasize that the principle expressed here cannot be denied; however, there may be something even beyond it. There may be an objective that aligns perfectly with the suggested principle—something that is unattainable by the usual means available to people, yet, if achieved, would add an immense charm to the landscape garden, far beyond what a simple human interest could provide. A truly gifted poet, who has considerable financial resources, might, while keeping in mind the necessary ideas of art, interest, or culture, infuse his designs with both depth and originality of Beauty, to convey a sense of spiritual influence. It will be noted that, in achieving such a result, he gains all the benefits of interest or design while freeing his work from the roughness and technical rigidity of Art. Even in the most rugged wilderness—amid the wildest scenes of pure Nature—there is a noticeable art of a Creator; yet this art is only evident upon reflection and doesn't have the immediate impact of a feeling. Now, if we can imagine this understanding of the Almighty Design harmonized to some extent, if we envision a landscape whose collective strangeness, vastness, clarity, and magnificence inspires the idea of culture, care, or oversight by intelligences that are superior yet related to humanity—then the feeling of interest is maintained, while the Art takes on the quality of an intermediate or secondary Nature—a Nature that is neither God nor a product of God, but still Nature, in the sense that it is the work of the angels that exist between man and God.”

It was in devoting his gigantic wealth to the practical embodiment of a vision such as this—in the free exercise in the open air, which resulted from personal direction of his plans—in the continuous and unceasing object which these plans afforded—in the high spirituality of the object itself—in the contempt of ambition which it enabled him more to feel than to affect—and, lastly, it was in the companionship and sympathy of a devoted wife, that Ellison thought to find, and found, an exemption from the ordinary cares of Humanity, with a far greater amount of positive happiness than ever glowed in the rapt day-dreams of De Staël.

It was by dedicating his immense wealth to making a vision like this a reality—in the ability to freely enjoy the outdoors, thanks to his personal oversight of his plans—in the ongoing purpose these plans provided—in the deep meaning of the goal itself—in the disdain for ambition that he felt more deeply than he pretended—and finally, in the companionship and support of a loving wife, that Ellison hoped to find, and did find, a break from the usual worries of life, along with a much greater level of true happiness than ever shone in the passionate daydreams of De Staël.

MAELZEL’S CHESS-PLAYER

Perhaps no exhibition of the kind has ever elicited so general attention as the Chess-Player of Maelzel. Wherever seen it has been an object of intense curiosity, to all persons who think. Yet the question of its modus operandi is still undetermined. Nothing has been written on this topic which can be considered as decisive—and accordingly we find every where men of mechanical genius, of great general acuteness, and discriminative understanding, who make no scruple in pronouncing the Automaton a pure machine, unconnected with human agency in its movements, and consequently, beyond all comparison, the most astonishing of the inventions of mankind. And such it would undoubtedly be, were they right in their supposition. Assuming this hypothesis, it would be grossly absurd to compare with the Chess-Player, any similar thing of either modern or ancient days. Yet there have been many and wonderful automata. In Brewster’s Letters on Natural Magic, we have an account of the most remarkable. Among these may be mentioned, as having beyond doubt existed, firstly, the coach invented by M. Camus for the amusement of Louis XIV when a child. A table, about four feet square, was introduced, into the room appropriated for the exhibition. Upon this table was placed a carriage, six inches in length, made of wood, and drawn by two horses of the same material. One window being down, a lady was seen on the back seat. A coachman held the reins on the box, and a footman and page were in their places behind. M. Camus now touched a spring; whereupon the coachman smacked his whip, and the horses proceeded in a natural manner, along the edge of the table, drawing after them the carriage. Having gone as far as possible in this direction, a sudden turn was made to the left, and the vehicle was driven at right angles to its former course, and still closely along the edge of the table. In this way the coach proceeded until it arrived opposite the chair of the young prince. It then stopped, the page descended and opened the door, the lady alighted, and presented a petition to her sovereign. She then re-entered. The page put up the steps, closed the door, and resumed his station. The coachman whipped his horses, and the carriage was driven back to its original position.

Perhaps no exhibition of its kind has ever captured so much attention as the Chess Player of Maelzel. Wherever it appeared, it sparked intense curiosity among all thinking individuals. Yet, the question of how it actually works remains unanswered. Nothing has been written on this topic that can be considered definitive—and as a result, we find many talented mechanical minds, along with astute and perceptive individuals, openly declaring the Automaton a pure machine, without any connection to human involvement in its movements, making it arguably the most astonishing invention of mankind. And it certainly would be, if they were correct in their assumption. Assuming this hypothesis, it would be utterly ridiculous to compare the Chess Player to any similar creation from either modern or ancient times. Yet, there have been many remarkable automatons. In Brewster’s Letters on Natural Magic, there’s a description of some of the most notable ones. Among these, we can mention, without a doubt, the coach created by M. Camus for the amusement of Louis XIV as a child. A table, about four feet square, was set up in the room designated for the exhibition. On this table was a carriage, six inches long, made of wood and pulled by two horses of the same material. With one window open, a lady could be seen on the back seat. A coachman held the reins on the box, while a footman and a page were positioned behind. M. Camus then pressed a spring; whereupon the coachman cracked his whip, and the horses moved naturally along the edge of the table, pulling the carriage behind them. After reaching the limit in that direction, they made a sudden turn to the left, and the vehicle was driven at a right angle to its previous path, still closely following the table's edge. The coach continued this way until it reached the chair of the young prince. It then stopped, the page got down and opened the door, the lady stepped out and presented a petition to her sovereign. Afterward, she got back in. The page put up the steps, closed the door, and returned to his place. The coachman whipped his horses, and the carriage was driven back to its original spot.

The magician of M. Maillardet is also worthy of notice. We copy the following account of it from the Letters before mentioned of Dr. B., who derived his information principally from the Edinburgh Encyclopaedia.

The magician of M. Maillardet is also worth mentioning. We’ve taken the following description from the Letters referenced earlier by Dr. B., who mainly got his information from the Edinburgh Encyclopaedia.

“One of the most popular pieces of mechanism which we have seen, Is the Magician constructed by M. Maillardet, for the purpose of answering certain given questions. A figure, dressed like a magician, appears seated at the bottom of a wall, holding a wand in one hand, and a book in the other A number of questions, ready prepared, are inscribed on oval medallions, and the spectator takes any of these he chooses and to which he wishes an answer, and having placed it in a drawer ready to receive it, the drawer shuts with a spring till the answer is returned. The magician then arises from his seat, bows his head, describes circles with his wand, and consulting the book as If in deep thought, he lifts it towards his face. Having thus appeared to ponder over the proposed question he raises his wand, and striking with it the wall above his head, two folding doors fly open, and display an appropriate answer to the question. The doors again close, the magician resumes his original position, and the drawer opens to return the medallion. There are twenty of these medallions, all containing different questions, to which the magician returns the most suitable and striking answers. The medallions are thin plates of brass, of an elliptical form, exactly resembling each other. Some of the medallions have a question inscribed on each side, both of which the magician answered in succession. If the drawer is shut without a medallion being put into it, the magician rises, consults his book, shakes his head, and resumes his seat. The folding doors remain shut, and the drawer is returned empty. If two medallions are put into the drawer together, an answer is returned only to the lower one. When the machinery is wound up, the movements continue about an hour, during which time about fifty questions may be answered. The inventor stated that the means by which the different medallions acted upon the machinery, so as to produce the proper answers to the questions which they contained, were extremely simple.”

One of the most popular mechanisms we've seen is the Magician created by M. Maillardet, designed to answer specific questions. A figure dressed like a magician sits at the bottom of a wall, holding a wand in one hand and a book in the other. A series of questions are engraved on oval medallions, and the spectator selects one to which they want an answer. After placing it in a designated drawer, the drawer automatically closes until the answer is given. The magician then stands up, bows, makes circles with his wand, and consults the book as if he’s deep in thought, lifting it towards his face. After contemplating the question, he raises his wand and strikes the wall above him, causing two folding doors to swing open, revealing an appropriate answer. The doors close again, the magician returns to his original position, and the drawer opens to return the medallion. There are twenty of these medallions, each with different questions, and the magician provides the most relevant and impressive answers. The medallions are thin brass plates, shaped like ellipses and identical in appearance. Some medallions have a question on each side, both of which the magician answers in turn. If the drawer is closed without a medallion inside, the magician stands, consults his book, shakes his head, and sits back down. The folding doors stay closed, and the drawer returns empty. If two medallions are placed in the drawer at once, an answer is provided only for the one on the bottom. When the mechanism is wound up, it operates for about an hour, answering around fifty questions in that time. The inventor noted that the way the various medallions triggered the machinery to produce the correct answers was surprisingly simple.

The duck of Vaucanson was still more remarkable. It was of the size of life, and so perfect an imitation of the living animal that all the spectators were deceived. It executed, says Brewster, all the natural movements and gestures, it ate and drank with avidity, performed all the quick motions of the head and throat which are peculiar to the duck, and like it muddled the water which it drank with its bill. It produced also the sound of quacking in the most natural manner. In the anatomical structure the artist exhibited the highest skill. Every bone in the real duck had its representative In the automaton, and its wings were anatomically exact. Every cavity, apophysis, and curvature was imitated, and each bone executed its proper movements. When corn was thrown down before it, the duck stretched out its neck to pick it up, swallowed, and digested it. {*1}

The duck created by Vaucanson was even more impressive. It was life-sized and such a perfect imitation of a real duck that all the onlookers were fooled. It could, as Brewster noted, perform all the natural movements and gestures, eat and drink eagerly, and make the quick head and throat motions typical of ducks, even stirring up the water it drank with its bill. It also produced quacking sounds in the most lifelike way. In terms of anatomical design, the artist displayed extraordinary skill. Every bone in a real duck was represented in the automaton, and its wings were anatomically accurate. Every cavity, projection, and curve was replicated, and each bone moved as it should. When corn was tossed in front of it, the duck stretched out its neck to grab it, swallowed it, and digested it. {*1}

But if these machines were ingenious, what shall we think of the calculating machine of Mr. Babbage? What shall we think of an engine of wood and metal which can not only compute astronomical and navigation tables to any given extent, but render the exactitude of its operations mathematically certain through its power of correcting its possible errors? What shall we think of a machine which can not only accomplish all this, but actually print off its elaborate results, when obtained, without the slightest intervention of the intellect of man? It will, perhaps, be said, in reply, that a machine such as we have described is altogether above comparison with the Chess-Player of Maelzel. By no means—it is altogether beneath it—that is to say provided we assume (what should never for a moment be assumed) that the Chess-Player is a pure machine, and performs its operations without any immediate human agency. Arithmetical or algebraical calculations are, from their very nature, fixed and determinate. Certain data being given, certain results necessarily and inevitably follow. These results have dependence upon nothing, and are influenced by nothing but the data originally given. And the question to be solved proceeds, or should proceed, to its final determination, by a succession of unerring steps liable to no change, and subject to no modification. This being the case, we can without difficulty conceive the possibility of so arranging a piece of mechanism, that upon starting In accordance with the data of the question to be solved, it should continue its movements regularly, progressively, and undeviatingly towards the required solution, since these movements, however complex, are never imagined to be otherwise than finite and determinate. But the case is widely different with the Chess-Player. With him there is no determinate progression. No one move in chess necessarily follows upon any one other. From no particular disposition of the men at one period of a game can we predicate their disposition at a different period. Let us place the first move in a game of chess, in juxta-position with the data of an algebraical question, and their great difference will be immediately perceived. From the latter—from the data—the second step of the question, dependent thereupon, inevitably follows. It is modelled by the data. It must be thus and not otherwise. But from the first move in the game of chess no especial second move follows of necessity. In the algebraical question, as it proceeds towards solution, the certainty of its operations remains altogether unimpaired. The second step having been a consequence of the data, the third step is equally a consequence of the second, the fourth of the third, the fifth of the fourth, and so on, and not possibly otherwise, to the end. But in proportion to the progress made in a game of chess, is the uncertainty of each ensuing move. A few moves having been made, no step is certain. Different spectators of the game would advise different moves. All is then dependent upon the variable judgment of the players. Now even granting (what should not be granted) that the movements of the Automaton Chess-Player were in themselves determinate, they would be necessarily interrupted and disarranged by the indeterminate will of his antagonist. There is then no analogy whatever between the operations of the Chess-Player, and those of the calculating machine of Mr. Babbage, and if we choose to call the former a pure machine we must be prepared to admit that it is, beyond all comparison, the most wonderful of the inventions of mankind. Its original projector, however, Baron Kempelen, had no scruple in declaring it to be a “very ordinary piece of mechanism—a bagatelle whose effects appeared so marvellous only from the boldness of the conception, and the fortunate choice of the methods adopted for promoting the illusion.” But it is needless to dwell upon this point. It is quite certain that the operations of the Automaton are regulated by mind, and by nothing else. Indeed this matter is susceptible of a mathematical demonstration, a priori. The only question then is of the manner in which human agency is brought to bear. Before entering upon this subject it would be as well to give a brief history and description of the Chess-Player for the benefit of such of our readers as may never have had an opportunity of witnessing Mr. Maelzel’s exhibition.

But if these machines were clever, what should we think of Mr. Babbage's calculating machine? What should we make of a machine made of wood and metal that can compute astronomical and navigation tables to any extent and ensure the accuracy of its results mathematically by correcting potential errors? What should we say about a machine that can achieve all this and actually print its detailed results without any intervention from human intelligence? Some might argue that a machine like the one described is completely incomparable to Maelzel's Chess-Player. Not at all—it is actually inferior to it—unless we assume (which should never be assumed for a moment) that the Chess-Player is a pure machine, operating without any direct human involvement. Arithmetic or algebra calculations, by their nature, are fixed and precise. Given certain data, certain results necessarily and inevitably follow. These results depend on nothing and are influenced solely by the data originally provided. The problem at hand should reach its resolution through a series of unchanging and reliable steps. Given this, we can easily imagine arranging a machine so that, when started according to the data of the question, it would move regularly, steadily, and without deviation towards the required solution, since these movements, no matter how complex, are considered finite and definite. However, the situation with the Chess-Player is completely different. There is no definitive progression with him. No single move in chess necessarily follows from any other move. From any particular arrangement of pieces at one point in the game, we can't predict their arrangement at another time. If we compare the first move in a chess game to the data of an algebraic problem, their significant differences become clear. In the latter, the data leads inevitably to the second step of the problem. It is defined by the data. It must be this way and not otherwise. But from the first move in chess, no specific second move must follow. In the algebraic problem, as it progresses towards a solution, the certainty of its operations remains completely intact. The second step is a direct result of the data, the third step is a result of the second, the fourth of the third, the fifth of the fourth, and so on, and not possibly otherwise, until the end. But as the game of chess progresses, the uncertainty of each subsequent move increases. After a few moves, no step is certain. Different observers might suggest different moves. Everything then relies on the fluctuating judgment of the players. Now, even if we concede (which we should not) that the movements of the Automaton Chess-Player were themselves fixed, they would inevitably be disrupted and altered by the unpredictable will of his opponent. Therefore, there is no real analogy between the operations of the Chess-Player and those of Mr. Babbage's calculating machine, and if we decide to label the former a pure machine, we must be ready to acknowledge it as the most extraordinary of all human inventions. Its original creator, Baron Kempelen, had no hesitation in claiming it to be a “very ordinary piece of machinery—a bagatelle whose effects seemed so miraculous only due to the bold concept and the fortunate choice of methods used to create the illusion.” But it’s unnecessary to dwell on this point. It’s quite clear that the actions of the Automaton are controlled by mind, and nothing else. In fact, this can be mathematically demonstrated a priori. The only remaining question is about the manner in which human involvement is applied. Before diving into this topic, it would be good to provide a brief history and description of the Chess-Player for readers who may not have had the chance to see Mr. Maelzel’s exhibition.

The Automaton Chess-Player was invented in 1769, by Baron Kempelen, a nobleman of Presburg, in Hungary, who afterwards disposed of it, together with the secret of its operations, to its present possessor. {2*} Soon after its completion it was exhibited in Presburg, Paris, Vienna, and other continental cities. In 1783 and 1784, it was taken to London by Mr. Maelzel. Of late years it has visited the principal towns in the United States. Wherever seen, the most intense curiosity was excited by its appearance, and numerous have been the attempts, by men of all classes, to fathom the mystery of its evolutions. The cut on this page gives a tolerable representation of the figure as seen by the citizens of Richmond a few weeks ago. The right arm, however, should lie more at length upon the box, a chess-board should appear upon it, and the cushion should not be seen while the pipe is held. Some immaterial alterations have been made in the costume of the player since it came into the possession of Maelzel—the plume, for example, was not originally worn. {image of automaton}

The Automaton Chess-Player was created in 1769 by Baron Kempelen, a nobleman from Presburg, Hungary, who later sold it, along with the secret of how it worked, to its current owner. {2*} Shortly after it was completed, it was showcased in Presburg, Paris, Vienna, and other cities across Europe. In 1783 and 1784, Mr. Maelzel brought it to London. In recent years, it has toured major cities in the United States. Wherever it appeared, it sparked intense curiosity among onlookers, and many people from all walks of life have tried to unravel the mystery of its movements. The illustration on this page shows a decent representation of the figure as seen by the residents of Richmond a few weeks ago. However, the right arm should be stretched out more on the box, a chessboard should be visible on it, and the cushion should not be seen while the pipe is held. Some minor changes have been made to the player's outfit since it came into Maelzel's possession— for instance, the plume was not originally part of the costume. {image of automaton}

At the hour appointed for exhibition, a curtain is withdrawn, or folding doors are thrown open, and the machine rolled to within about twelve feet of the nearest of the spectators, between whom and it (the machine) a rope is stretched. A figure is seen habited as a Turk, and seated, with its legs crossed, at a large box apparently of maple wood, which serves it as a table. The exhibiter will, if requested, roll the machine to any portion of the room, suffer it to remain altogether on any designated spot, or even shift its location repeatedly during the progress of a game. The bottom of the box is elevated considerably above the floor by means of the castors or brazen rollers on which it moves, a clear view of the surface immediately beneath the Automaton being thus afforded to the spectators. The chair on which the figure sits is affixed permanently to the box. On the top of this latter is a chess-board, also permanently affixed. The right arm of the Chess-Player is extended at full length before him, at right angles with his body, and lying, in an apparently careless position, by the side of the board. The back of the hand is upwards. The board itself is eighteen inches square. The left arm of the figure is bent at the elbow, and in the left hand is a pipe. A green drapery conceals the back of the Turk, and falls partially over the front of both shoulders. To judge from the external appearance of the box, it is divided into five compartments—three cupboards of equal dimensions, and two drawers occupying that portion of the chest lying beneath the cupboards. The foregoing observations apply to the appearance of the Automaton upon its first introduction into the presence of the spectators.

At the scheduled time for the demonstration, a curtain is pulled back, or folding doors are opened, and the machine is rolled out to about twelve feet from the closest spectators, with a rope stretched between them and the machine. A figure dressed as a Turk is seen sitting cross-legged at a large box that looks like it's made of maple wood, which serves as its table. The exhibitor will, if asked, roll the machine to any part of the room, allow it to stay in a specific spot, or even move it around repeatedly during the game. The bottom of the box sits significantly above the floor on wheels or brass rollers, providing spectators with a clear view of the area directly underneath the Automaton. The chair that the figure sits on is permanently attached to the box, and on top of it is a chessboard, also permanently affixed. The right arm of the Chess-Player is extended straight out in front of him, at a right angle to his body, resting in a seemingly casual position beside the board, with the back of his hand facing up. The chessboard itself measures eighteen inches square. The figure's left arm is bent at the elbow, holding a pipe in its left hand. A green drapery hides the back of the Turk and partially drapes over the front of both shoulders. From the outside appearance of the box, it seems to be divided into five compartments—three cupboards of equal size and two drawers located beneath the cupboards. These observations pertain to the appearance of the Automaton when it is first presented to the spectators.

Maelzel now informs the company that he will disclose to their view the mechanism of the machine. Taking from his pocket a bunch of keys he unlocks with one of them, door marked ~ in the cut above, and throws the cupboard fully open to the inspection of all present. Its whole interior is apparently filled with wheels, pinions, levers, and other machinery, crowded very closely together, so that the eye can penetrate but a little distance into the mass. Leaving this door open to its full extent, he goes now round to the back of the box, and raising the drapery of the figure, opens another door situated precisely in the rear of the one first opened. Holding a lighted candle at this door, and shifting the position of the whole machine repeatedly at the same time, a bright light is thrown entirely through the cupboard, which is now clearly seen to be full, completely full, of machinery. The spectators being satisfied of this fact, Maelzel closes the back door, locks it, takes the key from the lock, lets fall the drapery of the figure, and comes round to the front. The door marked I, it will be remembered, is still open. The exhibiter now proceeds to open the drawer which lies beneath the cupboards at the bottom of the box—for although there are apparently two drawers, there is really only one—the two handles and two key holes being intended merely for ornament. Having opened this drawer to its full extent, a small cushion, and a set of chessmen, fixed in a frame work made to support them perpendicularly, are discovered. Leaving this drawer, as well as cupboard No. 1 open, Maelzel now unlocks door No. 2, and door No. 3, which are discovered to be folding doors, opening into one and the same compartment. To the right of this compartment, however, (that is to say the spectators’ right) a small division, six inches wide, and filled with machinery, is partitioned off. The main compartment itself (in speaking of that portion of the box visible upon opening doors 2 and 3, we shall always call it the main compartment) is lined with dark cloth and contains no machinery whatever beyond two pieces of steel, quadrant-shaped, and situated one in each of the rear top corners of the compartment. A small protuberance about eight inches square, and also covered with dark cloth, lies on the floor of the compartment near the rear corner on the spectators’ left hand. Leaving doors No. 2 and No. 3 open as well as the drawer, and door No. I, the exhibiter now goes round to the back of the main compartment, and, unlocking another door there, displays clearly all the interior of the main compartment, by introducing a candle behind it and within it. The whole box being thus apparently disclosed to the scrutiny of the company, Maelzel, still leaving the doors and drawer open, rolls the Automaton entirely round, and exposes the back of the Turk by lifting up the drapery. A door about ten inches square is thrown open in the loins of the figure, and a smaller one also in the left thigh. The interior of the figure, as seen through these apertures, appears to be crowded with machinery. In general, every spectator is now thoroughly satisfied of having beheld and completely scrutinized, at one and the same time, every individual portion of the Automaton, and the idea of any person being concealed in the interior, during so complete an exhibition of that interior, if ever entertained, is immediately dismissed as preposterous in the extreme.

Maelzel now tells the audience that he'll show them the machine's mechanism. He takes out a set of keys from his pocket, unlocks the door marked ~ in the cut above, and opens the cupboard for everyone to see. Its entire interior seems filled with wheels, gears, levers, and other machinery all packed closely together, so it’s hard to see very far into it. With the door wide open, he goes around to the back of the box, lifts the drapery of the figure, and opens another door located directly behind the first one. Holding a candle at this door and adjusting the position of the whole machine at the same time, a bright light fills the cupboard, making it clear that it is completely full of machinery. Once the spectators are satisfied with this, Maelzel closes the back door, locks it, takes the key out, lowers the drapery of the figure, and moves back to the front. The door marked I is still open. The exhibitor then opens the drawer beneath the cupboards at the bottom of the box—though it looks like there are two drawers, there’s actually only one, as the two handles and keyholes are just for decoration. When he fully opens this drawer, a small cushion and a set of chess pieces, secured in a frame designed to hold them upright, are revealed. Leaving this drawer and cupboard No. 1 open, Maelzel now unlocks door No. 2 and door No. 3, which turn out to be folding doors leading into the same area. To the right of this area (meaning the spectators’ right), there’s a small section, six inches wide, filled with machinery. The main area itself (the part of the box visible upon opening doors 2 and 3, which we will refer to as the main area) is lined with dark cloth and contains no machinery except for two steel pieces shaped like quadrants located in each rear top corner of the area. A small eight-inch square bump, also covered with dark cloth, is on the floor of the area near the back corner on the spectators’ left side. With doors No. 2 and No. 3, the drawer, and door No. I all open, the exhibitor goes around to the back of the main area, unlocks another door, and clearly shows the entire inside of the main area by putting a candle behind it. With the whole box seemingly opened for the spectators to inspect, Maelzel, still keeping the doors and drawer open, rolls the Automaton around completely and reveals the back of the Turk by lifting the drapery. A door about ten inches square opens at the figure's waist, and a smaller one opens in the left thigh. The inner workings of the figure, visible through these openings, appear to be filled with machinery. Now, every spectator feels completely satisfied that they have seen and thoroughly examined every part of the Automaton, and the idea of anyone being hidden inside during such a complete display of the interior is quickly dismissed as completely ridiculous.

M. Maelzel, having rolled the machine back into its original position, now informs the company that the Automaton will play a game of chess with any one disposed to encounter him. This challenge being accepted, a small table is prepared for the antagonist, and placed close by the rope, but on the spectators’ side of it, and so situated as not to prevent the company from obtaining a full view of the Automaton. From a drawer in this table is taken a set of chess-men, and Maelzel arranges them generally, but not always, with his own hands, on the chess board, which consists merely of the usual number of squares painted upon the table. The antagonist having taken his seat, the exhibiter approaches the drawer of the box, and takes therefrom the cushion, which, after removing the pipe from the hand of the Automaton, he places under its left arm as a support. Then taking also from the drawer the Automaton’s set of chess-men, he arranges them upon the chessboard before the figure. He now proceeds to close the doors and to lock them—leaving the bunch of keys in door No. 1. He also closes the drawer, and, finally, winds up the machine, by applying a key to an aperture in the left end (the spectators’ left) of the box. The game now commences—the Automaton taking the first move. The duration of the contest is usually limited to half an hour, but if it be not finished at the expiration of this period, and the antagonist still contend that he can beat the Automaton, M. Maelzel has seldom any objection to continue it. Not to weary the company, is the ostensible, and no doubt the real object of the limitation. It Wits of course be understood that when a move is made at his own table, by the antagonist, the corresponding move is made at the box of the Automaton, by Maelzel himself, who then acts as the representative of the antagonist. On the other hand, when the Turk moves, the corresponding move is made at the table of the antagonist, also by M. Maelzel, who then acts as the representative of the Automaton. In this manner it is necessary that the exhibiter should often pass from one table to the other. He also frequently goes in rear of the figure to remove the chess-men which it has taken, and which it deposits, when taken, on the box to the left (to its own left) of the board. When the Automaton hesitates in relation to its move, the exhibiter is occasionally seen to place himself very near its right side, and to lay his hand, now and then, in a careless manner upon the box. He has also a peculiar shuffle with his feet, calculated to induce suspicion of collusion with the machine in minds which are more cunning than sagacious. These peculiarities are, no doubt, mere mannerisms of M. Maelzel, or, if he is aware of them at all, he puts them in practice with a view of exciting in the spectators a false idea of the pure mechanism in the Automaton.

M. Maelzel, having rolled the machine back into its original position, now informs the audience that the Automaton will play a game of chess with anyone willing to challenge it. Once the challenge is accepted, a small table is set up for the opponent, placed near the rope but on the spectators’ side, so that everyone can see the Automaton clearly. A set of chess pieces is taken from a drawer in this table, and Maelzel generally but not always arranges them himself on the chessboard, which is simply made up of the usual number of squares painted on the table. After the opponent takes their seat, the exhibitor approaches the drawer and retrieves a cushion, which, after removing the pipe from the Automaton’s hand, he places under its left arm for support. He also takes the Automaton’s chess pieces from the drawer and sets them up on the chessboard in front of the figure. He then closes and locks the doors, leaving the keyring in door No. 1. He also shuts the drawer and finally winds up the machine by inserting a key into an opening on the left side (the spectators’ left) of the box. The game now begins, with the Automaton making the first move. The contest usually lasts for half an hour, but if it isn’t finished by then and the opponent still believes they can beat the Automaton, M. Maelzel typically has no problem extending it. This time limit is ostensibly to avoid tiring the audience, which is undoubtedly the real reason for the limitation. It is understood that when the opponent makes a move at their table, the corresponding move is also made at the Automaton's box by Maelzel, who acts as the opponent's representative. Conversely, when the Turk moves, the matching move is made at the opponent's table, again by M. Maelzel, representing the Automaton. As such, the exhibitor frequently moves between the two tables. He often steps behind the figure to remove the chess pieces that it has taken, placing them on the box to the left (the Automaton’s left) of the board. When the Automaton seems unsure about its move, the exhibitor can sometimes be seen positioning himself close to its right side and casually resting his hand on the box. He also has a peculiar shuffle with his feet, designed to arouse suspicion of collusion with the machine in the minds of those who are more clever than wise. These habits are likely just mannerisms of M. Maelzel, or if he's aware of them, he uses them to create a false impression in the spectators' minds about the pure mechanics of the Automaton.

The Turk plays with his left hand. All the movements of the arm are at right angles. In this manner, the hand (which is gloved and bent in a natural way,) being brought directly above the piece to be moved, descends finally upon it, the fingers receiving it, in most cases, without difficulty. Occasionally, however, when the piece is not precisely in its proper situation, the Automaton fails in his attempt at seizing it. When this occurs, no second effort is made, but the arm continues its movement in the direction originally intended, precisely as if the piece were in the fingers. Having thus designated the spot whither the move should have been made, the arm returns to its cushion, and Maelzel performs the evolution which the Automaton pointed out. At every movement of the figure machinery is heard in motion. During the progress of the game, the figure now and then rolls its eyes, as if surveying the board, moves its head, and pronounces the word echec (check) when necessary. {*3} If a false move be made by his antagonist, he raps briskly on the box with the fingers of his right hand, shakes his head roughly, and replacing the piece falsely moved, in its former situation, assumes the next move himself. Upon beating the game, he waves his head with an air of triumph, looks round complacently upon the spectators, and drawing his left arm farther back than usual, suffers his fingers alone to rest upon the cushion. In general, the Turk is victorious—once or twice he has been beaten. The game being ended, Maelzel will again if desired, exhibit the mechanism of the box, in the same manner as before. The machine is then rolled back, and a curtain hides it from the view of the company.

The Turk plays with his left hand. All the arm movements are at right angles. In this way, the hand (which is gloved and naturally bent) is brought directly above the piece to be moved and finally descends upon it, with the fingers catching it, usually without any trouble. Sometimes, however, if the piece isn’t exactly where it should be, the Automaton fails to grab it. When this happens, no second attempt is made; instead, the arm continues moving in the initially intended direction, as if the piece were in its fingers. After indicating where the move should have been made, the arm returns to its cushion, and Maelzel carries out the move the Automaton indicated. Every time the figure moves, you can hear the machinery in action. During the game, the figure occasionally rolls its eyes, as if assessing the board, moves its head, and says the word echec (check) when necessary. {*3} If an opponent makes a wrong move, it taps quickly on the box with its right hand fingers, shakes its head vigorously, and puts the incorrectly moved piece back in its original position, taking the next move for itself. After winning, it nods its head triumphantly, looks around contentedly at the spectators, and pulls its left arm back further than usual, letting just its fingers rest on the cushion. Generally, the Turk wins—he has lost once or twice. Once the game is over, if requested, Maelzel will again display the mechanism of the box just like before. The machine is then rolled back, and a curtain covers it from the audience’s view.

There have been many attempts at solving the mystery of the Automaton. The most general opinion in relation to it, an opinion too not unfrequently adopted by men who should have known better, was, as we have before said, that no immediate human agency was employed—in other words, that the machine was purely a machine and nothing else. Many, however maintained that the exhibiter himself regulated the movements of the figure by mechanical means operating through the feet of the box. Others again, spoke confidently of a magnet. Of the first of these opinions we shall say nothing at present more than we have already said. In relation to the second it is only necessary to repeat what we have before stated, that the machine is rolled about on castors, and will, at the request of a spectator, be moved to and fro to any portion of the room, even during the progress of a game. The supposition of the magnet is also untenable—for if a magnet were the agent, any other magnet in the pocket of a spectator would disarrange the entire mechanism. The exhibiter, however, will suffer the most powerful loadstone to remain even upon the box during the whole of the exhibition.

There have been many attempts to solve the mystery of the Automaton. The most common opinion about it, which is often held by people who should know better, is, as we mentioned before, that no human involvement was involved—in other words, that the machine was purely a machine and nothing else. Many, however, maintain that the person operating it controlled the figure's movements through mechanical means via the feet of the box. Others confidently suggested a magnet. We won’t discuss the first opinion more than we already have. Regarding the second, it’s important to reiterate what we have stated before: the machine is rolled on wheels and can be moved to any part of the room at the request of a spectator, even during a game. The idea that a magnet is responsible is also flawed—if a magnet were involved, any other magnet in a spectator's pocket would disrupt the entire mechanism. However, the operator allows even the strongest magnet to remain on the box throughout the entire exhibition.

The first attempt at a written explanation of the secret, at least the first attempt of which we ourselves have any knowledge, was made in a large pamphlet printed at Paris in 1785. The author’s hypothesis amounted to this—that a dwarf actuated the machine. This dwarf he supposed to conceal himself during the opening of the box by thrusting his legs into two hollow cylinders, which were represented to be (but which are not) among the machinery in the cupboard No. I, while his body was out of the box entirely, and covered by the drapery of the Turk. When the doors were shut, the dwarf was enabled to bring his body within the box—the noise produced by some portion of the machinery allowing him to do so unheard, and also to close the door by which he entered. The interior of the automaton being then exhibited, and no person discovered, the spectators, says the author of this pamphlet, are satisfied that no one is within any portion of the machine. This whole hypothesis was too obviously absurd to require comment, or refutation, and accordingly we find that it attracted very little attention.

The first attempt to provide a written explanation of the secret, at least the first one we're aware of, was made in a large pamphlet published in Paris in 1785. The author's theory was that a dwarf operated the machine. He believed that this dwarf hid himself during the opening of the box by inserting his legs into two hollow cylinders, which were claimed to be (but actually are not) part of the machinery in cupboard No. I, while his body was entirely outside the box and covered by the drapery of the Turk. When the doors were closed, the dwarf could pull his body back into the box—the noise from some of the machinery allowing him to do so without being heard, and also to close the door he had entered through. Once the interior of the automaton was shown, and no one was found inside, the spectators, according to the author of this pamphlet, were convinced that no one was within any part of the machine. This entire theory was so clearly ridiculous that it didn’t need further discussion or rebuttal, and as a result, it received very little attention.

In 1789 a book was published at Dresden by M. I. F. Freyhere in which another endeavor was made to unravel the mystery. Mr. Freyhere’s book was a pretty large one, and copiously illustrated by colored engravings. His supposition was that “a well-taught boy very thin and tall of his age (sufficiently so that he could be concealed in a drawer almost immediately under the chess-board”) played the game of chess and effected all the evolutions of the Automaton. This idea, although even more silly than that of the Parisian author, met with a better reception, and was in some measure believed to be the true solution of the wonder, until the inventor put an end to the discussion by suffering a close examination of the top of the box.

In 1789, a book was published in Dresden by M. I. F. Freyhere that attempted to solve the mystery again. Mr. Freyhere’s book was quite lengthy and filled with colorful illustrations. He suggested that “a well-trained boy, very skinny and tall for his age (enough to fit into a drawer right under the chessboard)” played chess and executed all the movements of the Automaton. This theory, though even more absurd than that of the Parisian author, was received better and was somewhat believed to be the real explanation for the wonder, until the inventor put a stop to the debate by allowing a close inspection of the top of the box.

These bizarre attempts at explanation were followed by others equally bizarre. Of late years however, an anonymous writer, by a course of reasoning exceedingly unphilosophical, has contrived to blunder upon a plausible solution—although we cannot consider it altogether the true one. His Essay was first published in a Baltimore weekly paper, was illustrated by cuts, and was entitled “An attempt to analyze the Automaton Chess-Player of M. Maelzel.” This Essay we suppose to have been the original of the pamphlet to which Sir David Brewster alludes in his letters on Natural Magic, and which he has no hesitation in declaring a thorough and satisfactory explanation. The results of the analysis are undoubtedly, in the main, just; but we can only account for Brewster’s pronouncing the Essay a thorough and satisfactory explanation, by supposing him to have bestowed upon it a very cursory and inattentive perusal. In the compendium of the Essay, made use of in the Letters on Natural Magic, it is quite impossible to arrive at any distinct conclusion in regard to the adequacy or inadequacy of the analysis, on account of the gross misarrangement and deficiency of the letters of reference employed. The same fault is to be found in the “Attempt &c.,” as we originally saw it. The solution consists in a series of minute explanations, (accompanied by wood-cuts, the whole occupying many pages) in which the object is to show the possibility of so shifting the partitions of the box, as to allow a human being, concealed in the interior, to move portions of his body from one part of the box to another, during the exhibition of the mechanism—thus eluding the scrutiny of the spectators. There can be no doubt, as we have before observed, and as we will presently endeavor to show, that the principle, or rather the result, of this solution is the true one. Some person is concealed in the box during the whole time of exhibiting the interior. We object, however, to the whole verbose description of the manner in which the partitions are shifted, to accommodate the movements of the person concealed. We object to it as a mere theory assumed in the first place, and to which circumstances are afterwards made to adapt themselves. It was not, and could not have been, arrived at by any inductive reasoning. In whatever way the shifting is managed, it is of course concealed at every step from observation. To show that certain movements might possibly be effected in a certain way, is very far from showing that they are actually so effected. There may be an infinity of other methods by which the same results may be obtained. The probability of the one assumed proving the correct one is then as unity to infinity. But, in reality, this particular point, the shifting of the partitions, is of no consequence whatever. It was altogether unnecessary to devote seven or eight pages for the purpose of proving what no one in his senses would deny—viz: that the wonderful mechanical genius of Baron Kempelen could invent the necessary means for shutting a door or slipping aside a pannel, with a human agent too at his service in actual contact with the pannel or the door, and the whole operations carried on, as the author of the Essay himself shows, and as we shall attempt to show more fully hereafter, entirely out of reach of the observation of the spectators.

These strange attempts at explanations were followed by other equally odd ones. However, in recent years, an anonymous writer, through a very unphilosophical line of reasoning, managed to stumble upon a seemingly plausible solution—though we can't fully accept it as the true one. His essay was first published in a Baltimore weekly, illustrated with pictures, and titled “An Attempt to Analyze the Automaton Chess-Player of M. Maelzel.” We believe this essay is the original of the pamphlet that Sir David Brewster mentions in his letters on Natural Magic, and which he confidently declares as a complete and satisfying explanation. The results of the analysis are mostly accurate, but we can only explain Brewster calling the essay a thorough and satisfactory explanation by assuming he skimmed it carelessly. In the summary of the essay used in the Letters on Natural Magic, it’s impossible to come to any clear conclusion about the adequacy of the analysis because of the poor arrangement and lack of reference letters used. The same issue appears in the “Attempt &c.,” as we originally saw it. The solution includes a series of detailed explanations, (accompanied by woodcuts, taking up many pages) aiming to demonstrate the possibility of shifting the partitions of the box to allow a hidden person inside to move parts of their body from one area of the box to another during the performance—thus avoiding the spectators’ attention. There’s no doubt, as we’ve noted before and will show shortly, that the principle, or rather the conclusion, of this solution is the right one. Someone is hidden in the box throughout the entire performance. However, we criticize the lengthy description of how the partitions are shifted to accommodate the movements of the concealed person. We find it to be just a theory assumed from the start, and to which circumstances are afterward made to fit. It wasn’t, and couldn't have been, arrived at through any inductive reasoning. No matter how the shifting is managed, it is, of course, hidden from view at every step. To show that certain movements could possibly be done in a certain way is far from proving that they are actually done that way. There could be countless other methods to achieve the same results. The likelihood of the method assumed being the correct one is then as one to infinity. However, in reality, this specific point—the shifting of the partitions—doesn’t matter at all. It was completely unnecessary to spend seven or eight pages proving what no sane person would deny—namely, that the amazing mechanical genius of Baron Kempelen could design the necessary means to shut a door or move aside a panel, with a human helper physically present at the panel or door, all conducted, as the essay’s author himself shows, and as we’ll attempt to demonstrate more thoroughly later, completely out of the sight of the spectators.

In attempting ourselves an explanation of the Automaton, we will, in the first place, endeavor to show how its operations are effected, and afterwards describe, as briefly as possible, the nature of the observations from which we have deduced our result.

In trying to explain the Automaton, we'll first aim to show how it works, and then briefly describe the nature of the observations that led us to our conclusions.

It will be necessary for a proper understanding of the subject, that we repeat here in a few words, the routine adopted by the exhibiter in disclosing the interior of the box—a routine from which he never deviates in any material particular. In the first place he opens the door No. I. Leaving this open, he goes round to the rear of the box, and opens a door precisely at the back of door No. I. To this back door he holds a lighted candle. He then closes the back door, locks it, and, coming round to the front, opens the drawer to its full extent. This done, he opens the doors No. 2 and No. 3, (the folding doors) and displays the interior of the main compartment. Leaving open the main compartment, the drawer, and the front door of cupboard No. I, he now goes to the rear again, and throws open the back door of the main compartment. In shutting up the box no particular order is observed, except that the folding doors are always closed before the drawer.

To properly understand the topic, it's important to quickly outline the routine used by the exhibitor to reveal the inside of the box—a routine from which he never strays in any significant way. First, he opens door No. I. Keeping this door open, he goes to the back of the box and opens a door directly behind door No. I. He holds a lit candle to this back door. Then he closes the back door, locks it, and returns to the front to fully open the drawer. After that, he opens doors No. 2 and No. 3 (the folding doors) and shows the interior of the main compartment. With the main compartment, the drawer, and the front door of cupboard No. I all open, he goes back again and opens the back door of the main compartment. When closing the box, there's no specific order followed other than that the folding doors are always closed before the drawer.

Now, let us suppose that when the machine is first rolled into the presence of the spectators, a man is already within it. His body is situated behind the dense machinery in cupboard No. T. (the rear portion of which machinery is so contrived as to slip en masse, from the main compartment to the cupboard No. I, as occasion may require,) and his legs lie at full length in the main compartment. When Maelzel opens the door No. I, the man within is not in any danger of discovery, for the keenest eye cannot penetrate more than about two inches into the darkness within. But the case is otherwise when the back door of the cupboard No. I, is opened. A bright light then pervades the cupboard, and the body of the man would be discovered if it were there. But it is not. The putting the key in the lock of the back door was a signal on hearing which the person concealed brought his body forward to an angle as acute as possible—throwing it altogether, or nearly so, into the main compartment. This, however, is a painful position, and cannot be long maintained. Accordingly we find that Maelzel closes the back door. This being done, there is no reason why the body of the man may not resume its former situation—for the cupboard is again so dark as to defy scrutiny. The drawer is now opened, and the legs of the person within drop down behind it in the space it formerly occupied. {*4} There is, consequently, now no longer any part of the man in the main compartment—his body being behind the machinery in cupboard No. 1, and his legs in the space occupied by the drawer. The exhibiter, therefore, finds himself at liberty to display the main compartment. This he does—opening both its back and front doors—and no person Is discovered. The spectators are now satisfied that the whole of the box is exposed to view—and exposed too, all portions of it at one and the same time. But of course this is not the case. They neither see the space behind the drawer, nor the interior of cupboard No. 1—the front door of which latter the exhibiter virtually shuts in shutting its back door. Maelzel, having now rolled the machine around, lifted up the drapery of the Turk, opened the doors in his back and thigh, and shown his trunk to be full of machinery, brings the whole back into its original position, and closes the doors. The man within is now at liberty to move about. He gets up into the body of the Turk just so high as to bring his eyes above the level of the chess-board. It is very probable that he seats himself upon the little square block or protuberance which is seen in a corner of the main compartment when the doors are open. In this position he sees the chess-board through the bosom of the Turk which is of gauze. Bringing his right arm across his breast he actuates the little machinery necessary to guide the left arm and the fingers of the figure. This machinery is situated just beneath the left shoulder of the Turk, and is consequently easily reached by the right hand of the man concealed, if we suppose his right arm brought across the breast. The motions of the head and eyes, and of the right arm of the figure, as well as the sound echec are produced by other mechanism in the interior, and actuated at will by the man within. The whole of this mechanism—that is to say all the mechanism essential to the machine—is most probably contained within the little cupboard (of about six inches in breadth) partitioned off at the right (the spectators’ right) of the main compartment.

Now, let’s imagine that when the machine is first brought in front of the audience, a man is already inside it. His body is located behind the dense machinery in cupboard No. T (the back part of which machinery is designed to slide en masse from the main compartment to cupboard No. I, as needed), while his legs stretch out fully in the main compartment. When Maelzel opens door No. I, the man inside is not at risk of being discovered, because even the sharpest eye can’t see more than about two inches into the darkness inside. However, the situation changes when the back door of cupboard No. I is opened. A bright light then floods the cupboard, and the man’s body would be seen if it were there. But it isn’t. The act of putting the key in the back door lock was a signal, and upon hearing it, the concealed person positions his body forward as sharply as possible—almost entirely moving it into the main compartment. This, however, is an uncomfortable position and cannot be held for long. So, we see that Maelzel closes the back door. With that done, there’s no reason the man can’t go back to his original position—since the cupboard is dark again, making scrutiny impossible. The drawer is now opened, and the legs of the person inside drop down behind it into the space they previously occupied. There is, therefore, no part of the man in the main compartment—his body is behind the machinery in cupboard No. 1, and his legs are in the space behind the drawer. The exhibitor can then show off the main compartment. He does this by opening both its back and front doors—and no one is discovered. The spectators are satisfied that the entire box is visible—and all parts of it at the same time. But that’s not true. They can’t see the space behind the drawer, nor the inside of cupboard No. 1—the front door of which was essentially closed when the back door was shut. After rolling the machine around, Maelzel lifts the drapery of the Turk, opens the doors in its back and thigh, revealing that its trunk is full of machinery, returns everything to its original position, and closes the doors. The man inside is now free to move. He rises into the body of the Turk just high enough to bring his eyes above the level of the chessboard. It’s very likely that he sits on the small square block or protrusion visible in a corner of the main compartment when the doors are open. In this position, he can see the chessboard through the gauzy fabric of the Turk. Bringing his right arm across his chest, he operates the small machinery needed to control the left arm and fingers of the figure. This mechanism is located just beneath the left shoulder of the Turk, making it easily reachable for the concealed man’s right hand if we assume his arm is crossed over his chest. The motions of the head and eyes, as well as the right arm of the figure, along with the sound “echec,” are produced by additional mechanisms inside, controlled at will by the man inside. All this machinery—that is, all the necessary mechanisms for the machine—is likely housed within a small cupboard (about six inches wide) partitioned off on the right (the spectators’ right) side of the main compartment.

In this analysis of the operations of the Automaton, we have purposely avoided any allusion to the manner in which the partitions are shifted, and it will now be readily comprehended that this point is a matter of no importance, since, by mechanism within the ability of any common carpenter, it might be effected in an infinity of different ways, and since we have shown that, however performed, it is performed out of the view of the spectators. Our result is founded upon the following observations taken during frequent visits to the exhibition of Maelzel. {*5}

In this analysis of how the Automaton works, we've intentionally not mentioned how the partitions are moved. It's clear now that this detail isn’t important because any skilled carpenter could set it up in countless ways. Plus, we've demonstrated that no matter how it's done, it's done out of sight of the audience. Our conclusion is based on the following observations made during numerous visits to Maelzel's exhibition. {*5}

I. The moves of the Turk are not made at regular intervals of time, but accommodate themselves to the moves of the antagonist—although this point (of regularity) so important in all kinds of mechanical contrivance, might have been readily brought about by limiting the time allowed for the moves of the antagonist. For example, if this limit were three minutes, the moves of the Automaton might be made at any given intervals longer than three minutes. The fact then of irregularity, when regularity might have been so easily attained, goes to prove that regularity is unimportant to the action of the Automaton—in other words, that the Automaton is not a pure machine.

I. The Turk's moves aren't made at regular intervals but instead adjust to the moves of the opponent. This concept of regularity is crucial in all types of mechanical devices, yet it could have easily been achieved by limiting the time for the opponent's moves. For instance, if this limit were set to three minutes, the Automaton's moves could be made at any intervals longer than three minutes. The fact that its moves are irregular, despite the possibility of establishing regularity, shows that regularity isn't essential to the Automaton's actions—in other words, that the Automaton is not a pure machine.

2. When the Automaton is about to move a piece, a distinct motion is observable just beneath the left shoulder, and which motion agitates in a slight degree, the drapery covering the front of the left shoulder. This motion invariably precedes, by about two seconds, the movement of the arm itself—and the arm never, in any instance, moves without this preparatory motion in the shoulder. Now let the antagonist move a piece, and let the corresponding move be made by Maelzel, as usual, upon the board of the Automaton. Then let the antagonist narrowly watch the Automaton, until he detect the preparatory motion in the shoulder. Immediately upon detecting this motion, and before the arm itself begins to move, let him withdraw his piece, as if perceiving an error in his manœuvre. It will then be seen that the movement of the arm, which, in all other cases, immediately succeeds the motion in the shoulder, is withheld—is not made—although Maelzel has not yet performed, on the board of the Automaton, any move corresponding to the withdrawal of the antagonist. In this case, that the Automaton was about to move is evident—and that he did not move, was an effect plainly produced by the withdrawal of the antagonist, and without any intervention of Maelzel.

2. When the Automaton is about to move a piece, you can see a noticeable motion just under the left shoulder, which causes a slight ripple in the drapery covering the front of that shoulder. This motion always happens about two seconds before the arm actually moves—and the arm never, in any case, moves without this preparatory motion in the shoulder. Now, if the opponent makes a move, and the corresponding move is made by Maelzel, as usual, on the board of the Automaton, then the opponent should closely watch the Automaton until they notice the preparatory shoulder motion. As soon as they see this motion, and before the arm begins to move, they should pull back their piece, as if realizing they made a mistake. It will then be clear that the arm's movement, which normally follows the shoulder motion, is stopped—not made—although Maelzel hasn't yet made a move on the Automaton's board that corresponds to the opponent's withdrawal. In this situation, it's obvious that the Automaton was about to move, and it didn’t move because of the opponent’s withdrawal, without any involvement from Maelzel.

This fact fully proves, 1—that the intervention of Maelzel, in performing the moves of the antagonist on the board of the Automaton, is not essential to the movements of the Automaton, 2—that its movements are regulated by mind—by some person who sees the board of the antagonist, 3—that its movements are not regulated by the mind of Maelzel, whose back was turned towards the antagonist at the withdrawal of his move.

This fact clearly demonstrates, 1—that Maelzel's involvement in making the opponent's moves on the Automaton's board is not necessary for the Automaton's movements, 2—that its movements are controlled by mind—by someone who can see the opponent's board, 3—that its movements are not controlled by Maelzel, who had his back turned to the opponent when his move was taken back.

3. The Automaton does not invariably win the game. Were the machine a pure machine this would not be the case—it would always win. The principle being discovered by which a machine can be made to play a game of chess, an extension of the same principle would enable it to win a game—a farther extension would enable it to win all games—that is, to beat any possible game of an antagonist. A little consideration will convince any one that the difficulty of making a machine beat all games, Is not in the least degree greater, as regards the principle of the operations necessary, than that of making it beat a single game. If then we regard the Chess-Player as a machine, we must suppose, (what is highly improbable,) that its inventor preferred leaving it incomplete to perfecting it—a supposition rendered still more absurd, when we reflect that the leaving it incomplete would afford an argument against the possibility of its being a pure machine—the very argument we now adduce.

3. The Automaton doesn’t always win the game. If it were just a regular machine, it would always win. Once the principle is understood that allows a machine to play chess, applying that same principle would allow it to win a game—further applying it would enable it to win every game, meaning it could defeat any opponent's game. A little thought will show that the challenge of making a machine beat all games is no more complex, in terms of the necessary operational principles, than making it win a single game. So, if we consider the Chess-Player as a machine, we must assume (which is very unlikely) that its creator chose to leave it unfinished rather than perfect it—an assumption that becomes even more ridiculous when we think about how leaving it incomplete would actually argue against the possibility of it being just a machine—the very argument we’re making now.

4. When the situation of the game is difficult or complex, we never perceive the Turk either shake his head or roll his eyes. It is only when his next move is obvious, or when the game is so circumstanced that to a man in the Automaton’s place there would be no necessity for reflection. Now these peculiar movements of the head and eyes are movements customary with persons engaged in meditation, and the ingenious Baron Kempelen would have adapted these movements (were the machine a pure machine) to occasions proper for their display—that is, to occasions of complexity. But the reverse is seen to be the case, and this reverse applies precisely to our supposition of a man in the interior. When engaged in meditation about the game he has no time to think of setting in motion the mechanism of the Automaton by which are moved the head and the eyes. When the game, however, is obvious, he has time to look about him, and, accordingly, we see the head shake and the eyes roll.

4. When the game gets tough or complicated, we never see the Turk shake his head or roll his eyes. It’s only when his next move is clear, or when the situation is such that someone in the Automaton’s position wouldn’t need to think. These specific movements of the head and eyes are typical for people who are deep in thought, and the clever Baron Kempelen would have designed these movements (if the machine were just a machine) to happen at moments that called for them—that is, in complex situations. But the opposite actually occurs, which aligns perfectly with our idea of a person inside. When he’s focused on the game, he doesn't have time to think about making the Automaton’s mechanisms move the head and eyes. However, when the game is straightforward, he has time to look around, so we see him shake his head and roll his eyes.

5. When the machine is rolled round to allow the spectators an examination of the back of the Turk, and when his drapery is lifted up and the doors in the trunk and thigh thrown open, the interior of the trunk is seen to be crowded with machinery. In scrutinizing this machinery while the Automaton was in motion, that is to say while the whole machine was moving on the castors, it appeared to us that certain portions of the mechanism changed their shape and position in a degree too great to be accounted for by the simple laws of perspective; and subsequent examinations convinced us that these undue alterations were attributable to mirrors in the interior of the trunk. The introduction of mirrors among the machinery could not have been intended to influence, in any degree, the machinery itself. Their operation, whatever that operation should prove to be, must necessarily have reference to the eye of the spectator. We at once concluded that these mirrors were so placed to multiply to the vision some few pieces of machinery within the trunk so as to give it the appearance of being crowded with mechanism. Now the direct inference from this is that the machine is not a pure machine. For if it were, the inventor, so far from wishing its mechanism to appear complex, and using deception for the purpose of giving it this appearance, would have been especially desirous of convincing those who witnessed his exhibition, of the simplicity of the means by which results so wonderful were brought about.

5. When the machine is turned around to let the spectators examine the back of the Turk, and when his covering is lifted and the doors in the trunk and thigh are opened, the inside of the trunk is seen to be filled with machinery. While examining this machinery as the Automaton was in motion, meaning while the entire machine was rolling on its casters, it seemed to us that certain parts of the mechanism changed shape and position in a way that couldn't be explained just by the simple laws of perspective; later examinations confirmed that these unusual changes were due to mirrors inside the trunk. The use of mirrors among the machinery could not have been meant to affect the machinery itself in any way. Whatever their function was, it had to relate to the spectator's view. We immediately concluded that these mirrors were positioned to multiply the appearance of a few pieces of machinery within the trunk, giving the impression that it was packed with mechanisms. The clear implication here is that the machine is not just a simple machine. If it were, the inventor, rather than wanting the mechanism to seem complex and using deception to create that illusion, would have aimed to convince those watching his performance of the simplicity of the means by which such incredible results were achieved.

6. The external appearance, and, especially, the deportment of the Turk, are, when we consider them as imitations of life, but very indifferent imitations. The countenance evinces no ingenuity, and is surpassed, in its resemblance to the human face, by the very commonest of wax-works. The eyes roll unnaturally in the head, without any corresponding motions of the lids or brows. The arm, particularly, performs its operations in an exceedingly stiff, awkward, jerking, and rectangular manner. Now, all this is the result either of inability in Maelzel to do better, or of intentional neglect—accidental neglect being out of the question, when we consider that the whole time of the ingenious proprietor is occupied in the improvement of his machines. Most assuredly we must not refer the unlife-like appearances to inability—for all the rest of Maelzel’s automata are evidence of his full ability to copy the motions and peculiarities of life with the most wonderful exactitude. The rope-dancers, for example, are inimitable. When the clown laughs, his lips, his eyes, his eye-brows, and eyelids—indeed, all the features of his countenance—are imbued with their appropriate expressions. In both him and his companion, every gesture is so entirely easy, and free from the semblance of artificiality, that, were it not for the diminutiveness of their size, and the fact of their being passed from one spectator to another previous to their exhibition on the rope, it would be difficult to convince any assemblage of persons that these wooden automata were not living creatures. We cannot, therefore, doubt Mr. Maelzel’s ability, and we must necessarily suppose that he intentionally suffered his Chess Player to remain the same artificial and unnatural figure which Baron Kempelen (no doubt also through design) originally made it. What this design was it is not difficult to conceive. Were the Automaton life-like in its motions, the spectator would be more apt to attribute its operations to their true cause, (that is, to human agency within) than he is now, when the awkward and rectangular manœuvres convey the idea of pure and unaided mechanism.

6. The appearance and especially the behavior of the Turk are, when we think of them as imitations of life, pretty poor imitations. The face shows no creativity and is outdone in resembling a human face by even the simplest wax figures. The eyes move unnaturally in the head, without any matching movements of the eyelids or brows. The arm, in particular, moves in a very stiff, awkward, jerking, and rigid way. This is either due to Maelzel's inability to do better or intentional neglect—accidental neglect can’t really be considered since the ingenious owner is fully focused on improving his machines. We definitely can't attribute the lifeless appearances to inability—because all of Maelzel’s other automata clearly show he can replicate the movements and characteristics of life with amazing accuracy. For example, the rope-dancers are unmatched. When the clown laughs, his lips, eyes, eyebrows, and eyelids—indeed, all the features of his face—reflect their appropriate expressions. In both him and his partner, every gesture is so natural and free from any look of artificiality that, if it weren't for their small size and the fact that they are passed around among spectators before their performance on the rope, it would be hard to convince anyone that these wooden figures weren’t real living beings. Therefore, we can’t doubt Mr. Maelzel’s ability, and we have to assume that he intentionally allowed his Chess Player to stay the same artificial and unnatural figure that Baron Kempelen (no doubt also by design) originally created. What this design was is pretty easy to understand. If the Automaton moved in a lifelike way, spectators would be more likely to attribute its actions to their true cause (that is, human agency inside) than they do now, when the awkward and rigid movements suggest pure and simple mechanics.

7. When, a short time previous to the commencement of the game, the Automaton is wound up by the exhibiter as usual, an ear in any degree accustomed to the sounds produced in winding up a system of machinery, will not fail to discover, instantaneously, that the axis turned by the key in the box of the Chess-Player, cannot possibly be connected with either a weight, a spring, or any system of machinery whatever. The inference here is the same as in our last observation. The winding up is inessential to the operations of the Automaton, and is performed with the design of exciting in the spectators the false idea of mechanism.

7. When, shortly before the game starts, the exhibitor winds up the Automaton as usual, anyone familiar with the sounds made by winding up machinery will instantly recognize that the axis turned by the key in the Chess-Player's box cannot possibly be connected to any weights, springs, or mechanical systems. The conclusion here is the same as in our previous observation. The winding is unnecessary for the Automaton's operations and is done to create a misleading impression of machinery in the spectators.

8. When the question is demanded explicitly of Maelzel—“Is the Automaton a pure machine or not?” his reply is invariably the same—“I will say nothing about it.” Now the notoriety of the Automaton, and the great curiosity it has every where excited, are owing more especially to the prevalent opinion that it is a pure machine, than to any other circumstance. Of course, then, it is the interest of the proprietor to represent it as a pure machine. And what more obvious, and more effectual method could there be of impressing the spectators with this desired idea, than a positive and explicit declaration to that effect? On the other hand, what more obvious and effectual method could there be of exciting a disbelief in the Automaton’s being a pure machine, than by withholding such explicit declaration? For, people will naturally reason thus,—It is Maelzel’s interest to represent this thing a pure machine—he refuses to do so, directly, in words, although he does not scruple, and is evidently anxious to do so, indirectly by actions—were it actually what he wishes to represent it by actions, he would gladly avail himself of the more direct testimony of words—the inference is, that a consciousness of its not being a pure machine, is the reason of his silence—his actions cannot implicate him in a falsehood—his words may.

8. When Maelzel is directly asked, “Is the Automaton just a machine or not?” his answer is always the same—“I won’t say anything about it.” The fame of the Automaton and the widespread curiosity it has sparked are mainly due to the common belief that it is just a machine, more than anything else. Naturally, it benefits the owner to portray it as merely a machine. What could be a more obvious and effective way to convince the audience of this than to make a clear and definite statement confirming it? On the flip side, what could be a more obvious and effective way to create doubt about the Automaton being just a machine than by withholding such a clear statement? People tend to think, “It’s in Maelzel’s interest to claim this thing is just a machine—he refuses to do so directly with words, even though he clearly tries to convey it through his actions—if it were really what he wants to show through his actions, he would happily use the more direct evidence of words—the conclusion is that his silence suggests he knows it’s not just a machine—his actions can’t get him into trouble for lying—his words might.”

9. When, in exhibiting the interior of the box, Maelzel has thrown open the door No. I, and also the door immediately behind it, he holds a lighted candle at the back door (as mentioned above) and moves the entire machine to and fro with a view of convincing the company that the cupboard No. 1 is entirely filled with machinery. When the machine is thus moved about, it will be apparent to any careful observer, that whereas that portion of the machinery near the front door No. 1, is perfectly steady and unwavering, the portion farther within fluctuates, in a very slight degree, with the movements of the machine. This circumstance first aroused in us the suspicion that the more remote portion of the machinery was so arranged as to be easily slipped, en masse, from its position when occasion should require it. This occasion we have already stated to occur when the man concealed within brings his body into an erect position upon the closing of the back door.

9. When Maelzel opens Door No. 1 to show the inside of the box, he also opens the door right behind it. He holds a lit candle at the back door (as mentioned earlier) and moves the whole machine back and forth to convince everyone that Cupboard No. 1 is completely filled with machinery. When the machine is moved around like this, it's clear to any careful observer that while the part of the machinery near the front Door No. 1 is completely steady, the part further inside shifts slightly with the movements of the machine. This made us suspicious that the more distant part of the machinery was set up to be easily slipped en masse, from its position when needed. We’ve already mentioned that this happens when the man hidden inside stands up after the back door closes.

10. Sir David Brewster states the figure of the Turk to be of the size of life—but in fact it is far above the ordinary size. Nothing is more easy than to err in our notions of magnitude. The body of the Automaton is generally insulated, and, having no means of immediately comparing it with any human form, we suffer ourselves to consider it as of ordinary dimensions. This mistake may, however, be corrected by observing the Chess-Player when, as is sometimes the case, the exhibiter approaches it. Mr. Maelzel, to be sure, is not very tall, but upon drawing near the machine, his head will be found at least eighteen inches below the head of the Turk, although the latter, it will be remembered, is in a sitting position.

10. Sir David Brewster claims the Turk is life-sized, but actually, it's much bigger than that. It's easy to get our ideas about size wrong. The body of the Automaton is usually isolated, and since we have no way to compare it to a human form right away, we tend to think of it as being a normal size. However, this misunderstanding can be fixed by watching the Chess-Player when the exhibitor comes close. Mr. Maelzel isn't very tall, but when he stands near the machine, his head is at least eighteen inches below the head of the Turk, even though the Turk is sitting down.

11. The box behind which the Automaton is placed, is precisely three feet six inches long, two feet four inches deep, and two feet six inches high. These dimensions are fully sufficient for the accommodation of a man very much above the common size—and the main compartment alone is capable of holding any ordinary man in the position we have mentioned as assumed by the person concealed. As these are facts, which any one who doubts them may prove by actual calculation, we deem it unnecessary to dwell upon them. We will only suggest that, although the top of the box is apparently a board of about three inches in thickness, the spectator may satisfy himself by stooping and looking up at it when the main compartment is open, that it is in reality very thin. The height of the drawer also will be misconceived by those who examine it in a cursory manner. There is a space of about three inches between the top of the drawer as seen from the exterior, and the bottom of the cupboard—a space which must be included in the height of the drawer. These contrivances to make the room within the box appear less than it actually is, are referrible to a design on the part of the inventor, to impress the company again with a false idea, viz. that no human being can be accommodated within the box.

11. The box where the Automaton is placed is exactly three feet six inches long, two feet four inches deep, and two feet six inches high. These dimensions are more than enough to fit a person who is considerably taller than average—and the main compartment alone can hold any average-sized person in the position we mentioned for the concealed individual. Since these are facts that anyone who doubts can verify through simple calculations, we find it unnecessary to elaborate on them. We’ll just point out that, although the top of the box seems to be a board about three inches thick, a spectator can check for themselves by bending down and looking up at it when the main compartment is open, that it is actually quite thin. The height of the drawer might also be misunderstood by those who give it a quick glance. There’s a gap of about three inches between the top of the drawer as seen from the outside and the bottom of the cupboard—a gap that must be considered in measuring the height of the drawer. These tricks to make the space inside the box seem smaller than it really is are part of a plan by the inventor to again mislead the audience into thinking that no human can fit inside the box.

12. The interior of the main compartment is lined throughout with cloth. This cloth we suppose to have a twofold object. A portion of it may form, when tightly stretched, the only partitions which there is any necessity for removing during the changes of the man’s position, viz: the partition between the rear of the main compartment and the rear of the cupboard No. 1, and the partition between the main compartment, and the space behind the drawer when open. If we imagine this to be the case, the difficulty of shifting the partitions vanishes at once, if indeed any such difficulty could be supposed under any circumstances to exist. The second object of the cloth is to deaden and render indistinct all sounds occasioned by the movements of the person within.

12. The inside of the main compartment is completely lined with cloth. This cloth serves a dual purpose. One part of it can create, when pulled tight, the only dividers that need to be removed when the person shifts position: specifically, the divider between the back of the main compartment and the back of cupboard No. 1, and the divider between the main compartment and the area behind the drawer when it’s open. If we think of it this way, any difficulty in moving the dividers disappears altogether, if there was ever any such difficulty at all. The second purpose of the cloth is to muffle and obscure all sounds caused by the movement of the person inside.

13. The antagonist (as we have before observed) is not suffered to play at the board of the Automaton, but is seated at some distance from the machine. The reason which, most probably, would be assigned for this circumstance, if the question were demanded, is, that were the antagonist otherwise situated, his person would intervene between the machine and the spectators, and preclude the latter from a distinct view. But this difficulty might be easily obviated, either by elevating the seats of the company, or by turning the end of the box towards them during the game. The true cause of the restriction is, perhaps, very different. Were the antagonist seated in contact with the box, the secret would be liable to discovery, by his detecting, with the aid of a quick car, the breathings of the man concealed.

13. The opponent (as we've mentioned before) isn't allowed to sit at the Automaton's board but is placed some distance away from the machine. The most likely reason given for this setup, if someone were to ask, is that if the opponent were closer, they would block the spectators' view of the machine. However, this issue could easily be solved by either raising the seats of the audience or positioning the end of the box to face them during the game. The real reason for this restriction is probably something else. If the opponent were sitting next to the box, they could potentially discover the secret by picking up the sounds of the person hidden inside.

14. Although M. Maelzel, in disclosing the interior of the machine, sometimes slightly deviates from the routine which we have pointed out, yet reeler in any instance does he so deviate from it as to interfere with our solution. For example, he has been known to open, first of all, the drawer—but he never opens the main compartment without first closing the back door of cupboard No. 1—he never opens the main compartment without first pulling out the drawer—he never shuts the drawer without first shutting the main compartment—he never opens the back door of cupboard No. 1 while the main compartment is open—and the game of chess is never commenced until the whole machine is closed. Now if it were observed that never, in any single instance, did M. Maelzel differ from the routine we have pointed out as necessary to our solution, it would be one of the strongest possible arguments in corroboration of it—but the argument becomes infinitely strengthened if we duly consider the circumstance that he does occasionally deviate from the routine but never does so deviate as to falsify the solution.

14. Even though M. Maelzel sometimes slightly strays from the routine we've outlined when revealing the machine's interior, he never deviates from it in a way that would affect our solution. For instance, he is known to open the drawer first, but he never opens the main compartment without first closing the back door of cupboard No. 1. He never opens the main compartment without first pulling out the drawer, and he never closes the drawer without first closing the main compartment. He also never opens the back door of cupboard No. 1 while the main compartment is open, and the chess game never starts until the whole machine is closed. If it were noticed that M. Maelzel never diverged from the routine we established as essential to our solution, it would be one of the strongest possible arguments supporting it. However, the argument is even stronger when we consider that he does occasionally stray from the routine, but he never deviates in a way that would falsify the solution.

15. There are six candles on the board of the Automaton during exhibition. The question naturally arises—“Why are so many employed, when a single candle, or, at farthest, two, would have been amply sufficient to afford the spectators a clear view of the board, in a room otherwise so well lit up as the exhibition room always is—when, moreover, if we suppose the machine a pure machine, there can be no necessity for so much light, or indeed any light at all, to enable it to perform its operations—and when, especially, only a single candle is placed upon the table of the antagonist?” The first and most obvious inference is, that so strong a light is requisite to enable the man within to see through the transparent material (probably fine gauze) of which the breast of the Turk is composed. But when we consider the arrangement of the candles, another reason immediately presents itself. There are six lights (as we have said before) in all. Three of these are on each side of the figure. Those most remote from the spectators are the longest—those in the middle are about two inches shorter—and those nearest the company about two inches shorter still—and the candles on one side differ in height from the candles respectively opposite on the other, by a ratio different from two inches—that is to say, the longest candle on one side is about three inches shorter than the longest candle on the other, and so on. Thus it will be seen that no two of the candles are of the same height, and thus also the difficulty of ascertaining the material of the breast of the figure (against which the light is especially directed) is greatly augmented by the dazzling effect of the complicated crossings of the rays—crossings which are brought about by placing the centres of radiation all upon different levels.

15. There are six candles on the board of the Automaton during the exhibition. The question naturally arises: “Why are so many used when a single candle, or at most two, would have been more than enough to give the audience a clear view of the board in a room that is already so well lit—especially since, if we assume the machine is a pure machine, there shouldn’t be a need for so much light, or indeed any light at all, for it to perform its functions—and when, particularly, there’s only one candle on the table of the opponent?” The first and most obvious conclusion is that a strong light is necessary for the man inside to see through the transparent material (probably fine gauze) that makes up the Turk's chest. However, when we think about how the candles are arranged, another reason quickly becomes clear. There are six lights (as we mentioned earlier) in total. Three of these are on each side of the figure. The ones farthest from the spectators are the tallest—those in the middle are about two inches shorter—and the ones nearest to the audience are about two inches shorter still. Additionally, the candles on one side differ in height from their counterparts on the other side by a different ratio than two inches—that is, the tallest candle on one side is about three inches shorter than the tallest candle on the other side, and so on. Therefore, no two of the candles are the same height, which also makes it much harder to determine the material of the figure’s chest (where the light is particularly focused) due to the confusing effect of the intersecting rays—intersections caused by placing the sources of light at different heights.

16. While the Chess-Player was in possession of Baron Kempelen, it was more than once observed, first, that an Italian in the suite of the Baron was never visible during the playing of a game at chess by the Turk, and, secondly, that the Italian being taken seriously ill, the exhibition was suspended until his recovery. This Italian professed a total ignorance of the game of chess, although all others of the suite played well. Similar observations have been made since the Automaton has been purchased by Maelzel. There is a man, Schlumberoer, who attends him wherever he goes, but who has no ostensible occupation other than that of assisting in the packing and unpacking of the automata. This man is about the medium size, and has a remarkable stoop in the shoulders. Whether he professes to play chess or not, we are not informed. It is quite certain, however, that he is never to be seen during the exhibition of the Chess-Player, although frequently visible just before and just after the exhibition. Moreover, some years ago Maelzel visited Richmond with his automata, and exhibited them, we believe, in the house now occupied by M. Bossieux as a Dancing Academy. Schlumberger was suddenly taken ill, and during his illness there was no exhibition of the Chess-Player. These facts are well known to many of our citizens. The reason assigned for the suspension of the Chess-Player’s performances, was not the illness of Schlumberger. The inferences from all this we leave, without farther comment, to the reader.

16. While the Chess-Player was with Baron Kempelen, it was noted more than once that an Italian in the Baron’s entourage was never seen during the Turk’s chess games, and that when the Italian fell seriously ill, the exhibition was put on hold until he recovered. This Italian claimed to know nothing about chess, even though everyone else in the group played well. Similar observations have been made since Maelzel bought the Automaton. There is a man, Schlumberger, who follows him everywhere, but he seems to have no clear role other than helping with packing and unpacking the automata. This man is of average height and has a noticeable stoop. Whether he claims to play chess or not is unclear. However, it’s certain that he is never seen during the Chess-Player’s exhibition, even though he is often around just before and after the show. Additionally, a few years ago, Maelzel took his automata to Richmond and showcased them, as we believe, in the building currently occupied by M. Bossieux as a Dancing Academy. Schlumberger suddenly fell ill, and during his illness, there was no performance of the Chess-Player. These facts are well known to many in our community. The reason given for the suspension of the Chess-Player’s performances was not Schlumberger’s illness. We leave the implications of all this for the reader to ponder without further comment.

17. The Turk plays with his left arm. A circumstance so remarkable cannot be accidental. Brewster takes no notice of it whatever beyond a mere statement, we believe, that such is the fact. The early writers of treatises on the Automaton, seem not to have observed the matter at all, and have no reference to it. The author of the pamphlet alluded to by Brewster, mentions it, but acknowledges his inability to account for it. Yet it is obviously from such prominent discrepancies or incongruities as this that deductions are to be made (if made at all) which shall lead us to the truth.

17. The Turk uses his left arm to play. This is such a notable detail that it can't be a coincidence. Brewster barely comments on it, only stating that it’s a fact. The early writers discussing the Automaton seem to have completely missed this point and don’t mention it at all. The author of the pamphlet referenced by Brewster does mention it, but admits he can’t explain it. Yet, it’s clear that prominent inconsistencies like this are what we should analyze (if we analyze anything at all) to get to the truth.

The circumstance of the Automaton’s playing with his left hand cannot have connexion with the operations of the machine, considered merely as such. Any mechanical arrangement which would cause the figure to move, in any given manner, the left arm—could, if reversed, cause it to move, in the same manner, the right. But these principles cannot be extended to the human organization, wherein there is a marked and radical difference in the construction, and, at all events, in the powers, of the right and left arms. Reflecting upon this latter fact, we naturally refer the incongruity noticeable in the Chess-Player to this peculiarity in the human organization. If so, we must imagine some reversion—for the Chess-Player plays precisely as a man would not. These ideas, once entertained, are sufficient of themselves, to suggest the notion of a man in the interior. A few more imperceptible steps lead us, finally, to the result. The Automaton plays with his left arm, because under no other circumstances could the man within play with his right—a desideratum of course. Let us, for example, imagine the Automaton to play with his right arm. To reach the machinery which moves the arm, and which we have before explained to lie just beneath the shoulder, it would be necessary for the man within either to use his right arm in an exceedingly painful and awkward position, (viz. brought up close to his body and tightly compressed between his body and the side of the Automaton,) or else to use his left arm brought across his breast. In neither case could he act with the requisite ease or precision. On the contrary, the Automaton playing, as it actually does, with the left arm, all difficulties vanish. The right arm of the man within is brought across his breast, and his right fingers act, without any constraint, upon the machinery in the shoulder of the figure.

The fact that the Automaton plays with its left hand doesn't connect with how the machine works on its own. Any mechanical setup that makes the figure move its left arm in a specific way could be reversed to make it move its right arm in the same way. But you can't apply those same principles to a human body, where there’s a clear difference in the structure and function of the right and left arms. Thinking about this difference, we naturally attribute the oddness we see in the Chess-Player to this human characteristic. If that’s the case, we need to imagine some kind of reversal—because the Chess-Player plays exactly how a person wouldn’t. Once we entertain these thoughts, they suggest that there must be a person inside. A few more subtle steps lead us to the conclusion: The Automaton uses its left arm because there’s no way the person inside could use his right arm—a clear need for it, of course. Let’s say, for instance, the Automaton played with its right arm. To access the machinery that moves the arm, which we already explained is located just beneath the shoulder, the person inside would either have to use his right arm in an incredibly painful and awkward position (close to his body and tightly squeezed between himself and the Automaton) or use his left arm crossing over his chest. In either scenario, he couldn’t move comfortably or accurately. On the other hand, with the Automaton using its left arm, all those issues disappear. The person inside can bring his right arm across his chest, and his right fingers can move freely on the machinery in the figure’s shoulder.

We do not believe that any reasonable objections can be urged against this solution of the Automaton Chess-Player.

We don't think any reasonable objections can be made against this solution to the Automaton Chess-Player.

THE POWER OF WORDS

OINOS. Pardon, Agathos, the weakness of a spirit new-fledged with immortality!

OINOS. Forgive me, Agathos, for the weakness of a spirit just newly adapted to immortality!

AGATHOS. You have spoken nothing, my Oinos, for which pardon is to be demanded. Not even here is knowledge a thing of intuition. For wisdom, ask of the angels freely, that it may be given!

AGATHOS. You haven’t said anything, my Oinos, that needs forgiveness. Even here, knowledge isn’t just a matter of instinct. For wisdom, ask the angels openly, and it will be given!

OINOS. But in this existence, I dreamed that I should be at once cognizant of all things, and thus at once be happy in being cognizant of all.

OINOS. But in this life, I dreamed that I would know everything and, in knowing everything, I would find happiness in that awareness.

AGATHOS. Ah, not in knowledge is happiness, but in the acquisition of knowledge! In for ever knowing, we are for ever blessed; but to know all were the curse of a fiend.

AGATHOS. Ah, happiness isn't found in knowledge itself, but in gaining knowledge! By always learning, we are always blessed; but to know everything would be a curse of a demon.

OINOS. But does not The Most High know all?

OINOS. But doesn't The Most High know everything?

AGATHOS. That (since he is The Most Happy) must be still the one thing unknown even to Him.

AGATHOS. That (since he is The Most Happy) must still be the one thing not known to Him.

OINOS. But, since we grow hourly in knowledge, must not at last all things be known?

OINOS. But, since we're constantly learning more, shouldn’t everything eventually be known?

AGATHOS. Look down into the abysmal distances!—attempt to force the gaze down the multitudinous vistas of the stars, as we sweep slowly through them thus—and thus—and thus! Even the spiritual vision, is it not at all points arrested by the continuous golden walls of the universe?—the walls of the myriads of the shining bodies that mere number has appeared to blend into unity?

AGATHOS. Look down into the endless distances!—try to force your gaze down the countless paths of the stars, as we move slowly through them like this—and this—and this! Even the spiritual vision, is it not stopped at every point by the endless golden walls of the universe?—the walls formed by the countless shining bodies that mere numbers seem to merge into oneness?

OINOS. I clearly perceive that the infinity of matter is no dream.

OINOS. I can clearly see that the endlessness of matter is no illusion.

AGATHOS. There are no dreams in Aidenn—but it is here whispered that, of this infinity of matter, the sole purpose is to afford infinite springs, at which the soul may allay the thirst to know, which is for ever unquenchable within it—since to quench it, would be to extinguish the soul’s self. Question me then, my Oinos, freely and without fear. Come! we will leave to the left the loud harmony of the Pleiades, and swoop outward from the throne into the starry meadows beyond Orion, where, for pansies and violets, and heart’s-ease, are the beds of the triplicate and triple-tinted suns.

AGATHOS. There are no dreams in Aidenn—but it's said here that, in this vast expanse of matter, the only purpose is to provide endless sources for the soul to satisfy its unending thirst to know, which can never truly be quenched—because to quench it would mean extinguishing the soul itself. So ask me anything, my Oinos, openly and without fear. Come! Let’s leave behind the vibrant sounds of the Pleiades and fly out from the throne into the starry fields beyond Orion, where the beds of the triple and multiple-colored suns bloom with pansies, violets, and heart’s-ease.

OINOS. And now, Agathos, as we proceed, instruct me!—speak to me in the earth’s familiar tones. I understand not what you hinted to me, just now, of the modes or of the method of what, during mortality, we were accustomed to call Creation. Do you mean to say that the Creator is not God?

OINOS. And now, Agathos, as we move forward, please teach me!—talk to me in a way I can understand. I didn't get what you just suggested about the ways or the methods we used to call Creation during our lifetime. Are you saying that the Creator isn't God?

AGATHOS. I mean to say that the Deity does not create.

AGATHOS. What I'm saying is that the Deity doesn't create.

OINOS. Explain.

OINOS. Explain.

AGATHOS. In the beginning only, he created. The seeming creatures which are now, throughout the universe, so perpetually springing into being, can only be considered as the mediate or indirect, not as the direct or immediate results of the Divine creative power.

AGATHOS. In the beginning, he created. The apparent beings that now continuously emerge throughout the universe should only be seen as the indirect effects of Divine creative power, not as the direct results.

OINOS. Among men, my Agathos, this idea would be considered heretical in the extreme.

OINOS. Among people, my Agathos, this idea would be seen as completely heretical.

AGATHOS. Among angels, my Oinos, it is seen to be simply true.

AGATHOS. Among angels, my Oinos, it is clearly true.

OINOS. I can comprehend you thus far—that certain operations of what we term Nature, or the natural laws, will, under certain conditions, give rise to that which has all the appearance of creation. Shortly before the final overthrow of the earth, there were, I well remember, many very successful experiments in what some philosophers were weak enough to denominate the creation of animalculæ.

OINOS. I can understand you up to this point—that certain processes of what we call Nature, or natural laws, will, under specific conditions, lead to something that has all the appearance of creation. Just before the world was finally destroyed, I remember there were many very successful experiments in what some philosophers foolishly referred to as the creation of tiny creatures.

AGATHOS. The cases of which you speak were, in fact, instances of the secondary creation—and of the only species of creation which has ever been, since the first word spoke into existence the first law.

AGATHOS. The situations you're referring to were actually examples of secondary creation—and of the only type of creation that has ever existed, since the first word brought the first law into being.

OINOS. Are not the starry worlds that, from the abyss of nonentity, burst hourly forth into the heavens—are not these stars, Agathos, the immediate handiwork of the King?

OINOS. Aren't the starry worlds that emerge from the void into the sky every hour—aren't these stars, Agathos, the direct creation of the King?

AGATHOS. Let me endeavor, my Oinos, to lead you, step by step, to the conception I intend. You are well aware that, as no thought can perish, so no act is without infinite result. We moved our hands, for example, when we were dwellers on the earth, and, in so doing, gave vibration to the atmosphere which engirdled it. This vibration was indefinitely extended, till it gave impulse to every particle of the earth’s air, which thenceforward, and for ever, was actuated by the one movement of the hand. This fact the mathematicians of our globe well knew. They made the special effects, indeed, wrought in the fluid by special impulses, the subject of exact calculation—so that it became easy to determine in what precise period an impulse of given extent would engirdle the orb, and impress (for ever) every atom of the atmosphere circumambient. Retrograding, they found no difficulty, from a given effect, under given conditions, in determining the value of the original impulse. Now the mathematicians who saw that the results of any given impulse were absolutely endless—and who saw that a portion of these results were accurately traceable through the agency of algebraic analysis—who saw, too, the facility of the retrogradation—these men saw, at the same time, that this species of analysis itself, had within itself a capacity for indefinite progress—that there were no bounds conceivable to its advancement and applicability, except within the intellect of him who advanced or applied it. But at this point our mathematicians paused.

AGATHOS. Let me try, my Oinos, to guide you step by step to the idea I have in mind. You know that no thought can truly disappear, and every action has infinite consequences. For example, when we moved our hands while we lived on Earth, we created vibrations in the atmosphere around us. These vibrations spread indefinitely, affecting every particle of air, which from that moment on was influenced by that one hand movement forever. The mathematicians on our planet understood this well. They studied how specific effects in fluids were caused by specific impulses, allowing them to calculate exactly how long it would take for a given impulse to surround the globe and impact every atom of the surrounding atmosphere permanently. By working backwards, they found it easy to determine the value of the original impulse based on a known effect under specific conditions. Now, the mathematicians who recognized that the results of any given impulse were essentially endless—and who realized that some of these results could be accurately traced using algebraic analysis—and who also understood the ease of retracing their steps—these individuals saw that this type of analysis had the potential for infinite progress. They realized that there were no conceivable limits to its development and applicability, other than those set by the intellect of the person using it. But at this point, our mathematicians paused.

OINOS. And why, Agathos, should they have proceeded?

OINOS. And why, Agathos, should they have gone ahead?

AGATHOS. Because there were some considerations of deep interest beyond. It was deducible from what they knew, that to a being of infinite understanding—one to whom the perfection of the algebraic analysis lay unfolded—there could be no difficulty in tracing every impulse given the air—and the ether through the air—to the remotest consequences at any even infinitely remote epoch of time. It is indeed demonstrable that every such impulse given the air, must, in the end, impress every individual thing that exists within the universe;—and the being of infinite understanding—the being whom we have imagined—might trace the remote undulations of the impulse—trace them upward and onward in their influences upon all particles of an matter—upward and onward for ever in their modifications of old forms—or, in other words, in their creation of new—until he found them reflected—unimpressive at last—back from the throne of the Godhead. And not only could such a thing do this, but at any epoch, should a given result be afforded him—should one of these numberless comets, for example, be presented to his inspection—he could have no difficulty in determining, by the analytic retrogradation, to what original impulse it was due. This power of retrogradation in its absolute fulness and perfection—this faculty of referring at all epochs, all effects to all causes—is of course the prerogative of the Deity alone—but in every variety of degree, short of the absolute perfection, is the power itself exercised by the whole host of the Angelic intelligences.

AGATHOS. Because there were some important considerations beyond this. From what they knew, it could be inferred that to a being of infinite understanding—one who completely grasps the perfection of algebraic analysis— there would be no challenge in tracing every impulse given to the air—and the ether through the air—to its farthest consequences, even at infinitely distant points in time. Indeed, it can be proven that every impulse given to the air must ultimately affect every individual thing that exists in the universe;—and this being of infinite understanding—the being we've imagined— could trace the distant ripples of the impulse—following them up and on in their effects on all particles of matter—up and on forever as they modify old forms—or, in simpler terms, as they create new ones—until he found them reflected—ultimately unimpressive—back from the throne of God. And not only could such a being do this, but at any moment, if presented with a specific outcome—should one of these countless comets be shown to him— he could easily determine, through analytic reasoning, what original impulse caused it. This ability to trace back effects to their causes perfectly—this skill to refer all effects to all causes at any point in time—is, of course, the exclusive right of the Deity. However, in varying degrees, short of that absolute perfection, this power is exercised by the entire host of angelic beings.

OINOS. But you speak merely of impulses upon the air.

OINOS. But you're just talking about sounds in the air.

AGATHOS. In speaking of the air, I referred only to the earth; but the general proposition has reference to impulses upon the ether—which, since it pervades, and alone pervades all space, is thus the great medium of creation.

AGATHOS. When I talked about the air, I was only referring to the earth; but the overall idea relates to the influences on the ether—which, since it fills and is the only thing that fills all space, is therefore the primary medium of creation.

OINOS. Then all motion, of whatever nature, creates?

OINOS. So, does all movement, of any kind, create?

AGATHOS. It must: but a true philosophy has long taught that the source of all motion is thought—and the source of all thought is—

AGATHOS. It has to: but a true philosophy has long taught that the source of all movement is thought—and the source of all thought is—

OINOS. God.

Wine. God.

AGATHOS. I have spoken to you, Oinos, as to a child of the fair Earth which lately perished—of impulses upon the atmosphere of the Earth.

AGATHOS. I have spoken to you, Oinos, as if you were a child of the beautiful Earth that recently faded away—about forces affecting the air around the Earth.

OINOS. You did.

WINE. You did.

AGATHOS. And while I thus spoke, did there not cross your mind some thought of the physical power of words? Is not every word an impulse on the air?

AGATHOS. And while I was saying this, didn’t it occur to you how powerful words can be? Isn’t every word a push through the air?

OINOS. But why, Agathos, do you weep—and why, oh why do your wings droop as we hover above this fair star—which is the greenest and yet most terrible of all we have encountered in our flight? Its brilliant flowers look like a fairy dream—but its fierce volcanoes like the passions of a turbulent heart.

OINOS. But why, Agathos, are you crying—and why, oh why do your wings droop as we hover above this beautiful star—which is the greenest yet most terrifying of all we've encountered in our journey? Its bright flowers seem like a fairy tale—but its fierce volcanoes resemble the turmoil of a restless heart.

AGATHOS. They are!—they are! This wild star—it is now three centuries since, with clasped hands, and with streaming eyes, at the feet of my beloved—I spoke it—with a few passionate sentences—into birth. Its brilliant flowers are the dearest of all unfulfilled dreams, and its raging volcanoes are the passions of the most turbulent and unhallowed of hearts.

AGATHOS. They really are! This wild star—it’s been three centuries since, with my hands together and tears streaming down my face, at the feet of my beloved—I brought it to life—with a few passionate words. Its beautiful flowers are the most precious of all the dreams I haven’t fulfilled, and its erupting volcanoes represent the intense feelings of the most restless and unholy hearts.

THE COLLOQUY OF MONOS AND UNA

Μελλοντα ταυτα.—SOPHOCLESAntig.
“These things are in the near future.”

Μελλοντα ταυτα.—SOPHOCLESAntig.
“These things are coming soon.”

Una. “Born again?”

Una. “Born again?”

Monos. Yes, fairest and best beloved Una, “born again.” These were the words upon whose mystical meaning I had so long pondered, rejecting the explanations of the priesthood, until Death himself resolved for me the secret.

Monos. Yes, dearest and most beloved Una, “born again.” These were the words I had contemplated for so long, dismissing the interpretations of the clergy, until Death himself revealed the truth to me.

Una. Death!

Una. Dead!

Monos. How strangely, sweet Una, you echo my words! I observe, too, a vacillation in your step—a joyous inquietude in your eyes. You are confused and oppressed by the majestic novelty of the Life Eternal. Yes, it was of Death I spoke. And here how singularly sounds that word which of old was wont to bring terror to all hearts—throwing a mildew upon all pleasures!

Monos. How strangely, sweet Una, you repeat my words! I notice, too, a flicker in your step—a joyful restlessness in your eyes. You are baffled and weighed down by the awe-inspiring newness of Eternal Life. Yes, I was talking about Death. And here, how oddly that word sounds now, which used to bring fear to everyone—casting a shadow over all enjoyment!

Una. Ah, Death, the spectre which sate at all feasts! How often, Monos, did we lose ourselves in speculations upon its nature! How mysteriously did it act as a check to human bliss—saying unto it “thus far, and no farther!” That earnest mutual love, my own Monos, which burned within our bosoms—how vainly did we flatter ourselves, feeling happy in its first up-springing, that our happiness would strengthen with its strength! Alas! as it grew, so grew in our hearts the dread of that evil hour which was hurrying to separate us forever! Thus, in time, it became painful to love. Hate would have been mercy then.

Una. Ah, Death, the shadow that loomed over every celebration! How often, Monos, did we lose ourselves in pondering its nature! It mysteriously held back human joy—saying to it, “thus far, and no further!” That deep mutual love, my dear Monos, that burned in our hearts—how foolishly did we convince ourselves, feeling joyful in its early days, that our happiness would grow stronger with it! Alas! as it blossomed, so did our fear of that dreadful moment that was racing to separate us forever! Over time, loving became painful. Hatred would have been a mercy then.

Monos. Speak not here of these griefs, dear Una—mine, mine, forever now!

Monos. Don't talk about these sorrows here, dear Una—mine, mine, forever now!

Una. But the memory of past sorrow—is it not present joy? I have much to say yet of the things which have been. Above all, I burn to know the incidents of your own passage through the dark Valley and Shadow.

Una. But isn't the memory of past sorrow present joy? I still have a lot to share about what has happened. Above all, I’m eager to hear about your experiences navigating the dark Valley and Shadow.

Monos. And when did the radiant Una ask anything of her Monos in vain? I will be minute in relating all—but at what point shall the weird narrative begin?

Monos. And when did the glowing Una ever ask her Monos for something and not get it? I’ll be detailed in telling everything—but where should this strange story start?

Una. At what point?

Una. When?

Monos. You have said.

Monos. You said.

Una. Monos, I comprehend you. In Death we have both learned the propensity of man to define the indefinable. I will not say, then, commence with the moment of life’s cessation—but commence with that sad, sad instant when, the fever having abandoned you, you sank into a breathless and motionless torpor, and I pressed down your pallid eyelids with the passionate fingers of love.

Una. Monos, I understand you. In death, we both learned how humans tend to try to define the undefinable. So, I won’t start from the moment life ends—but from that heartbreaking instant when, after the fever left you, you fell into a breathless and motionless state, and I gently closed your pale eyelids with the passionate touch of love.

Monos. One word first, my Una, in regard to man’s general condition at this epoch. You will remember that one or two of the wise among our forefathers—wise in fact, although not in the world’s esteem—had ventured to doubt the propriety of the term “improvement,” as applied to the progress of our civilization. There were periods in each of the five or six centuries immediately preceding our dissolution, when arose some vigorous intellect, boldly contending for those principles whose truth appears now, to our disenfranchised reason, so utterly obvious—principles which should have taught our race to submit to the guidance of the natural laws, rather than attempt their control. At long intervals some masterminds appeared, looking upon each advance in practical science as a retro-gradation in the true utility. Occasionally the poetic intellect—that intellect which we now feel to have been the most exalted of all—since those truths which to us were of the most enduring importance could only be reached by that analogy which speaks in proof tones to the imagination alone and to the unaided reason bears no weight—occasionally did this poetic intellect proceed a step farther in the evolving of the vague idea of the philosophic, and find in the mystic parable that tells of the tree of knowledge, and of its forbidden fruit, death-producing, a distinct intimation that knowledge was not meet for man in the infant condition of his soul. And these men—the poets—living and perishing amid the scorn of the “utilitarians”—of rough pedants, who arrogated to themselves a title which could have been properly applied only to the scorned—these men, the poets, pondered piningly, yet not unwisely, upon the ancient days when our wants were not more simple than our enjoyments were keen—days when mirth was a word unknown, so solemnly deep-toned was happiness—holy, august and blissful days, when blue rivers ran undammed, between hills unhewn, into far forest solitudes, primæval, odorous, and unexplored.

Monos. First off, my Una, let’s talk about the general state of humanity today. You’ll remember that a few wise people from our past—wise in their own right, even if the world didn’t recognize it—questioned whether the term "improvement" truly fit the progress of our civilization. In the five or six centuries leading up to our downfall, there were times when brilliant minds arose, passionately arguing for principles that now seem so painfully obvious to us—principles that should have taught us to follow natural laws instead of trying to control them. Every so often, some great thinkers emerged, viewing every leap in practical science as a step back from genuine usefulness. Sometimes, the poetic minds—which we now realize were the most elevated—were the ones who could only grasp the most important truths through the imaginative analogies that resonated with the heart and left pure reason behind. Those poets occasionally moved a bit further in developing the hazy idea of philosophy, finding in the mystical story about the tree of knowledge and its deadly forbidden fruit a clear hint that knowledge was not suitable for humanity in its early state. And these poets—the ones who lived and died amidst the disdain of the "utilitarians"—those rough scholars who took on a title that truly belonged to the ones they looked down upon—these poets reflected wistfully, though wisely, on the ancient times when our needs were no more complex than our pleasures were intense—times when joy was a word unspoken, so profoundly deep was happiness—sacred, revered, blissful times when blue rivers flowed freely, unblocked, between uncarved hills, into untouched, fragrant, primeval forests.

Yet these noble exceptions from the general misrule served but to strengthen it by opposition. Alas! we had fallen upon the most evil of all our evil days. The great “movement”—that was the cant term—went on: a diseased commotion, moral and physical. Art—the Arts—arose supreme, and, once enthroned, cast chains upon the intellect which had elevated them to power. Man, because he could not but acknowledge the majesty of Nature, fell into childish exultation at his acquired and still-increasing dominion over her elements. Even while he stalked a God in his own fancy, an infantine imbecility came over him. As might be supposed from the origin of his disorder, he grew infected with system, and with abstraction. He enwrapped himself in generalities. Among other odd ideas, that of universal equality gained ground; and in the face of analogy and of God—in despite of the loud warning voice of the laws of gradation so visibly pervading all things in Earth and Heaven—wild attempts at an omni-prevalent Democracy were made. Yet this evil sprang necessarily from the leading evil—Knowledge. Man could not both know and succumb. Meantime huge smoking cities arose, innumerable. Green leaves shrank before the hot breath of furnaces. The fair face of Nature was deformed as with the ravages of some loathsome disease. And methinks, sweet Una, even our slumbering sense of the forced and of the far-fetched might have arrested us here. But now it appears that we had worked out our own destruction in the perversion of our taste, or rather in the blind neglect of its culture in the schools. For, in truth, it was at this crisis that taste alone—that faculty which, holding a middle position between the pure intellect and the moral sense, could never safely have been disregarded—it was now that taste alone could have led us gently back to Beauty, to Nature, and to Life. But alas for the pure contemplative spirit and majestic intuition of Plato! Alas for the μουσικη which he justly regarded as an all-sufficient education for the soul! Alas for him and for it!—since both were most desperately needed when both were most entirely forgotten or despised. {*1}

Yet these noble exceptions to the general chaos only served to strengthen it through opposition. Unfortunately, we had fallen into the worst of all our bad times. The great “movement”—that was the buzzword—continued: a sickly unrest, both moral and physical. Art—the Arts—rose up to prominence, and, once in power, shackled the intellect that had elevated them. Man, unable to ignore the majesty of Nature, fell into a childish joy over his growing control over her elements. Even as he fancied himself a God, he was overtaken by a childish foolishness. Unsurprisingly, given the nature of his disorder, he became obsessed with system and abstraction. He wrapped himself in generalities. Among other strange ideas, the notion of universal equality gained traction; and in defiance of analogy and God—in spite of the loud warnings from the laws of gradation that are clearly evident in everything on Earth and in Heaven—wild attempts at an all-encompassing Democracy were made. Yet this issue arose necessarily from the primary issue—Knowledge. Man could not both know and submit. In the meantime, vast, smoky cities emerged, countless in number. Green leaves wilted under the scorching breath of furnaces. The beautiful face of Nature was disfigured as if ravaged by some repugnant disease. And I think, sweet Una, even our dormant awareness of the forced and the far-fetched could have stopped us here. But now it seems that we brought about our own destruction through the corruption of our taste, or rather in the careless neglect of its development in the schools. For, truly, it was at this crucial moment that taste alone—that ability which occupies a middle ground between pure intellect and moral sense—could never have been safely ignored; it was now that taste alone could have gently guided us back to Beauty, to Nature, and to Life. But alas for the pure contemplative spirit and grand intuition of Plato! Alas for the μουσικη which he rightly considered an all-sufficient education for the soul! Alas for him and for it!—since both were desperately needed when both were completely forgotten or scorned. {*1}

Pascal, a philosopher whom we both love, has said, how truly!—“que tout notre raisonnement se rèduit à céder au sentiment;” and it is not impossible that the sentiment of the natural, had time permitted it, would have regained its old ascendancy over the harsh mathematical reason of the schools. But this thing was not to be. Prematurely induced by intemperance of knowledge the old age of the world drew on. This the mass of mankind saw not, or, living lustily although unhappily, affected not to see. But, for myself, the Earth’s records had taught me to look for widest ruin as the price of highest civilization. I had imbibed a prescience of our Fate from comparison of China the simple and enduring, with Assyria the architect, with Egypt the astrologer, with Nubia, more crafty than either, the turbulent mother of all Arts. In history {*2} of these regions I met with a ray from the Future. The individual artificialities of the three latter were local diseases of the Earth, and in their individual overthrows we had seen local remedies applied; but for the infected world at large I could anticipate no regeneration save in death. That man, as a race, should not become extinct, I saw that he must be “born again.”

Pascal, a philosopher we both admire, has said, how true! — “that all our reasoning comes down to yielding to feeling;” and it’s not impossible that, if given time, the feeling for the natural would have regained its old dominance over the harsh mathematical reasoning of the schools. But that wasn’t meant to be. Prematurely driven by an excess of knowledge, the world’s old age began to creep in. Most people didn’t see this, or, living energetically but unhappily, pretended not to see it. But for me, the Earth’s records taught me to expect great ruin as the cost of great civilization. I had a foreboding of our Fate from comparing China, the simple and enduring, with Assyria, the builder, with Egypt, the astrologer, and with Nubia, more cunning than either, the chaotic mother of all Arts. In the history of these regions, I found a glimpse of the Future. The individual artificial aspects of the last three were local ailments of the Earth, and in their individual downfalls, local remedies had been applied; but for the infected world as a whole, I could see no regeneration except through death. For humanity to avoid extinction, I realized that it must be “born again.”

And now it was, fairest and dearest, that we wrapped our spirits, daily, in dreams. Now it was that, in twilight, we discoursed of the days to come, when the Art-scarred surface of the Earth, having undergone that purification {*3} which alone could efface its rectangular obscenities, should clothe itself anew in the verdure and the mountain-slopes and the smiling waters of Paradise, and be rendered at length a fit dwelling-place for man:—for man the Death purged—for man to whose now exalted intellect there should be poison in knowledge no more—for the redeemed, regenerated, blissful, and now immortal, but still for the material, man.

And now, my dearest and fairest, we wrapped our spirits in dreams every day. It was in the twilight that we talked about the days to come, when the scarred surface of the Earth, after undergoing that purification {*3} which could finally erase its rectangular ugliness, would be transformed into the lush greenery, mountain slopes, and sparkling waters of Paradise, making it a suitable home for humanity— for humans who have been cleansed from death— for people whose now elevated intellect would find no poison in knowledge anymore— for the redeemed, renewed, joyful, and now immortal, but still material, human beings.

Una. Well do I remember these conversations, dear Monos; but the epoch of the fiery overthrow was not so near at hand as we believed, and as the corruption you indicate did surely warrant us in believing. Men lived; and died individually. You yourself sickened, and passed into the grave; and thither your constant Una speedily followed you. And though the century which has since elapsed, and whose conclusion brings us thus together once more, tortured our slumbering senses with no impatience of duration, yet, my Monos, it was a century still.

Una. I remember these conversations well, dear Monos; but the time of the fiery downfall was not as close as we thought, despite the corruption you mentioned that surely led us to believe so. People lived and died one by one. You got sick and passed away; and soon after, your loyal Una followed you there. Even though the century that has passed since then, which has brought us together once again, didn’t make our waiting feel too long, still, my Monos, it was a century, nonetheless.

Monos. Say, rather, a point in the vague infinity. Unquestionably, it was in the Earth’s dotage that I died. Wearied at heart with anxieties which had their origin in the general turmoil and decay, I succumbed to the fierce fever. After some few days of pain, and many of dreamy delirium replete with ecstasy, the manifestations of which you mistook for pain, while I longed but was impotent to undeceive you—after some days there came upon me, as you have said, a breathless and motionless torpor; and this was termed Death by those who stood around me.

Monos. Say, rather, a point in the endless void. It was without a doubt in Earth's final days that I died. Worn down by worries rooted in the overall chaos and decline, I fell victim to a fierce fever. After a few days of pain and many days of dreamy delirium filled with ecstasy—expressions you mistook for suffering, while I desperately wished to set you straight but couldn’t—after a few days, I then experienced, as you mentioned, a stillness and lifelessness; and those around me called this Death.

Words are vague things. My condition did not deprive me of sentience. It appeared to me not greatly dissimilar to the extreme quiescence of him, who, having slumbered long and profoundly, lying motionless and fully prostrate in a midsummer noon, begins to steal slowly back into consciousness, through the mere sufficiency of his sleep, and without being awakened by external disturbances.

Words can be unclear. My condition didn't take away my awareness. It felt somewhat like the deep stillness of someone who, after sleeping soundly for a long time, starts to gradually come back to consciousness, simply because he has had enough rest, without being disturbed by anything from the outside.

I breathed no longer. The pulses were still. The heart had ceased to beat. Volition had not departed, but was powerless. The senses were unusually active, although eccentrically so—assuming often each other’s functions at random. The taste and the smell were inextricably confounded, and became one sentiment, abnormal and intense. The rose-water with which your tenderness had moistened my lips to the last, affected me with sweet fancies of flowers—fantastic flowers, far more lovely than any of the old Earth, but whose prototypes we have here blooming around us. The eyelids, transparent and bloodless, offered no complete impediment to vision. As volition was in abeyance, the balls could not roll in their sockets but all objects within the range of the visual hemisphere were seen with more or less distinctness; the rays which fell upon the external retina, or into the corner of the eye, producing a more vivid effect than those which struck the front or interior surface. Yet, in the former instance, this effect was so far anomalous that I appreciated it only as sound—sound sweet or discordant as the matters presenting themselves at my side were light or dark in shade—curved or angular in outline. The hearing, at the same time, although excited in degree, was not irregular in action—estimating real sounds with an extravagance of precision, not less than of sensibility. Touch had undergone a modification more peculiar. Its impressions were tardily received, but pertinaciously retained, and resulted always in the highest physical pleasure. Thus the pressure of your sweet fingers upon my eyelids, at first only recognised through vision, at length, long after their removal, filled my whole being with a sensual delight immeasurable. I say with a sensual delight. All my perceptions were purely sensual. The materials furnished the passive brain by the senses were not in the least degree wrought into shape by the deceased understanding. Of pain there was some little; of pleasure there was much; but of moral pain or pleasure none at all. Thus your wild sobs floated into my ear with all their mournful cadences, and were appreciated in their every variation of sad tone; but they were soft musical sounds and no more; they conveyed to the extinct reason no intimation of the sorrows which gave them birth; while the large and constant tears which fell upon my face, telling the bystanders of a heart which broke, thrilled every fibre of my frame with ecstasy alone. And this was in truth the Death of which these bystanders spoke reverently, in low whispers—you, sweet Una, gaspingly, with loud cries.

I no longer breathed. My pulses were still. My heart had stopped beating. My will was still there, but it felt powerless. My senses were unusually active, but in a strange way—often switching functions at random. Taste and smell were completely mixed up, creating one intense and unusual feeling. The rose-water you had lovingly moistened my lips with affected me with sweet visions of flowers—fantastic flowers, far more beautiful than any on Earth, but ones we have blooming around us here. My eyelids, clear and bloodless, didn’t completely block my vision. Since my will was dormant, my eyes couldn’t move in their sockets, but I could see all objects within my field of vision with varying clarity; the light hitting the outer retina, or the corners of my eye, produced a more vivid effect than light striking the front or inner part. However, in the former case, this effect was so unusual that I perceived it only as sound—sweet or discordant, depending on whether the things around me were light or dark—curved or angular in shape. My hearing, at the same time, while heightened, was not erratic—recognizing real sounds with an extreme accuracy and sensitivity. Touch had changed in a unique way. Its impressions were received slowly, but stubbornly retained, always resulting in immense physical pleasure. So, the pressure of your gentle fingers on my eyelids, initially only recognized through sight, eventually filled my whole being with immeasurable sensual delight long after you had removed them. I emphasize a sensual delight. All my perceptions were purely sensory. The information my senses delivered to my passive brain wasn’t shaped at all by the reasoning mind I’d lost. There was some pain; there was much pleasure; but no moral pain or pleasure. Your wild sobs floated into my ears with all their mournful tones, and I sensed every variation of their sad melody; but they were just soft musical sounds, nothing more; they didn’t convey any indication of the sorrows that caused them to be. Meanwhile, the large, constant tears falling on my face, revealing a breaking heart to those watching, sent waves of pure ecstasy through my entire being. And this was truly the Death that those bystanders spoke of with reverence, in hushed tones—you, sweet Una, gasping and crying out loud.

They attired me for the coffin—three or four dark figures which flitted busily to and fro. As these crossed the direct line of my vision they affected me as forms; but upon passing to my side their images impressed me with the idea of shrieks, groans, and other dismal expressions of terror, of horror, or of wo. You alone, habited in a white robe, passed in all directions musically about me.

They dressed me for the coffin—three or four dark figures that moved quickly back and forth. When they crossed directly in front of me, they seemed like shapes; but as they moved past me, their presence filled my mind with thoughts of screams, moans, and other awful expressions of fear, horror, or sorrow. You alone, dressed in a white robe, moved gracefully around me.

The day waned; and, as its light faded away, I became possessed by a vague uneasiness—an anxiety such as the sleeper feels when sad real sounds fall continuously within his ear—low distant bell-tones, solemn, at long but equal intervals, and mingling with melancholy dreams. Night arrived; and with its shadows a heavy discomfort. It oppressed my limbs with the oppression of some dull weight, and was palpable. There was also a moaning sound, not unlike the distant reverberation of surf, but more continuous, which, beginning with the first twilight, had grown in strength with the darkness. Suddenly lights were brought into the room, and this reverberation became forthwith interrupted into frequent unequal bursts of the same sound, but less dreary and less distinct. The ponderous oppression was in a great measure relieved; and, issuing from the flame of each lamp, (for there were many,) there flowed unbrokenly into my ears a strain of melodious monotone. And when now, dear Una, approaching the bed upon which I lay outstretched, you sat gently by my side, breathing odor from your sweet lips, and pressing them upon my brow, there arose tremulously within my bosom, and mingling with the merely physical sensations which circumstances had called forth, a something akin to sentiment itself—a feeling that, half appreciating, half responded to your earnest love and sorrow; but this feeling took no root in the pulseless heart, and seemed indeed rather a shadow than a reality, and faded quickly away, first into extreme quiescence, and then into a purely sensual pleasure as before.

The day faded; and as the light diminished, I felt a vague uneasiness—an anxiety similar to what a sleeper experiences when sad sounds persist in their ear—distant bell tones, solemn, at long but equal intervals, blending with melancholy dreams. Night came; and with its shadows, a heavy discomfort settled in. It weighed on my limbs like a dull burden, and I could feel it. There was also a moaning sound, somewhat like the distant roar of waves, but more constant, which had started with the first hint of twilight and grew louder as darkness fell. Suddenly, lights were brought into the room, interrupting the reverberation with uneven bursts of the same sound, but less gloomy and less clear. The heavy pressure was largely lifted; and from each lamp's flame (of which there were many), a steady, melodious tone flowed into my ears. And then, dear Una, as you approached the bed where I lay stretched out, sitting gently by my side, breathing the scent from your sweet lips, and kissing my brow, a feeling stirred within me, mingling with the physical sensations brought on by the circumstances—a feeling that half appreciated, half responded to your genuine love and sorrow; but this feeling did not take root in my lifeless heart and seemed more like a shadow than reality, quickly fading away, first into deep stillness, and then into a purely sensual pleasure, just as before.

And now, from the wreck and the chaos of the usual senses, there appeared to have arisen within me a sixth, all perfect. In its exercise I found a wild delight—yet a delight still physical, inasmuch as the understanding had in it no part. Motion in the animal frame had fully ceased. No muscle quivered; no nerve thrilled; no artery throbbed. But there seemed to have sprung up in the brain, that of which no words could convey to the merely human intelligence even an indistinct conception. Let me term it a mental pendulous pulsation. It was the moral embodiment of man’s abstract idea of Time. By the absolute equalization of this movement—or of such as this—had the cycles of the firmamental orbs themselves, been adjusted. By its aid I measured the irregularities of the clock upon the mantel, and of the watches of the attendants. Their tickings came sonorously to my ears. The slightest deviations from the true proportion—and these deviations were omni-prevalent—affected me just as violations of abstract truth were wont, on earth, to affect the moral sense. Although no two of the time-pieces in the chamber struck the individual seconds accurately together, yet I had no difficulty in holding steadily in mind the tones, and the respective momentary errors of each. And this—this keen, perfect, self-existing sentiment of duration—this sentiment existing (as man could not possibly have conceived it to exist) independently of any succession of events—this idea—this sixth sense, upspringing from the ashes of the rest, was the first obvious and certain step of the intemporal soul upon the threshold of the temporal Eternity.

And now, from the wreckage and chaos of the usual senses, a sixth sense seemed to have emerged within me, one that was completely perfect. As I experienced it, I found a wild joy—yet it was still a physical joy, because understanding played no role in it. Motion in my body had completely stopped. No muscle twitched; no nerve excited; no artery pulsed. But it felt like something had sprung up in my brain that no words could convey to the average human mind, even vaguely. Let’s call it a mental pulsing. It was the moral embodiment of humanity’s abstract notion of Time. Through the absolute equalization of this movement—or something like it—the cycles of the celestial bodies had been synchronized. With its help, I measured the irregularities of the clock on the mantel and the watches of those around me. Their ticking resonated in my ears. The slightest deviations from the true rhythm—and these deviations were everywhere—affected me just like violations of abstract truth would, in life, affect the moral sense. Although no two timepieces in the room chimed the exact seconds together, I had no trouble keeping track of the sounds and the respective momentary errors of each. And this—this sharp, perfect, self-sustaining feeling of duration—this feeling (which no human could possibly have imagined could exist) independently of any sequence of events—this idea—this sixth sense, rising from the remnants of the others, was the first clear and certain step of the timeless soul crossing into the realm of temporal Eternity.

It was midnight; and you still sat by my side. All others had departed from the chamber of Death. They had deposited me in the coffin. The lamps burned flickeringly; for this I knew by the tremulousness of the monotonous strains. But, suddenly these strains diminished in distinctness and in volume. Finally they ceased. The perfume in my nostrils died away. Forms affected my vision no longer. The oppression of the Darkness uplifted itself from my bosom. A dull shock like that of electricity pervaded my frame, and was followed by total loss of the idea of contact. All of what man has termed sense was merged in the sole consciousness of entity, and in the one abiding sentiment of duration. The mortal body had been at length stricken with the hand of the deadly Decay.

It was midnight, and you were still sitting by my side. Everyone else had left the room of Death. They had laid me in the coffin. The lamps flickered, which I could tell from the shaky sounds of the music. But suddenly, the music became less clear and quieter. Finally, it stopped. The scent in my nose faded away. I could no longer see shapes. The heaviness of the Darkness lifted from my chest. A dull shock, like electricity, spread through my body, followed by a complete loss of the feeling of touch. All that people call sense merged into a single awareness of existence and a constant feeling of time passing. The mortal body had finally been struck by the hand of deadly Decay.

Yet had not all of sentience departed; for the consciousness and the sentiment remaining supplied some of its functions by a lethargic intuition. I appreciated the direful change now in operation upon the flesh, and, as the dreamer is sometimes aware of the bodily presence of one who leans over him, so, sweet Una, I still dully felt that you sat by my side. So, too, when the noon of the second day came, I was not unconscious of those movements which displaced you from my side, which confined me within the coffin, which deposited me within the hearse, which bore me to the grave, which lowered me within it, which heaped heavily the mould upon me, and which thus left me, in blackness and corruption, to my sad and solemn slumbers with the worm.

Yet not all of my awareness was gone; the consciousness and feelings that remained helped me perceive things through a heavy intuition. I recognized the terrible change happening to my body, and like a dreamer who feels the presence of someone leaning over them, I still felt you, sweet Una, sitting by my side. Likewise, when the afternoon of the second day arrived, I was aware of the movements that took you from my side, that confined me in the coffin, that placed me in the hearse, that carried me to the grave, that lowered me into it, that piled the dirt heavily on me, and that left me, in darkness and decay, to my mournful and solemn rest with the worms.

And here, in the prison-house which has few secrets to disclose, there rolled away days and weeks and months; and the soul watched narrowly each second as it flew, and, without effort, took record of its flight—without effort and without object.

And here, in the prison that has few secrets to share, days, weeks, and months slipped by; and the soul closely observed each second as it passed, recording its movement effortlessly—without effort and without purpose.

A year passed. The consciousness of being had grown hourly more indistinct, and that of mere locality had, in great measure, usurped its position. The idea of entity was becoming merged in that of place. The narrow space immediately surrounding what had been the body, was now growing to be the body itself. At length, as often happens to the sleeper (by sleep and its world alone is Death imaged)—at length, as sometimes happened on Earth to the deep slumberer, when some flitting light half startled him into awaking, yet left him half enveloped in dreams—so to me, in the strict embrace of the Shadow came that light which alone might have had power to startle—the light of enduring Love. Men toiled at the grave in which I lay darkling. They upthrew the damp earth. Upon my mouldering bones there descended the coffin of Una.

A year went by. The sense of existence had become increasingly vague, and the awareness of just the location had mostly taken its place. The concept of identity was blending into that of a physical space. The small area around what had been the body was starting to become the body itself. Eventually, like often happens to someone asleep (only in sleep and its world is Death represented)—eventually, like sometimes occurs on Earth for someone in a deep slumber when a fleeting light half-startles them awake but still leaves them partially wrapped in dreams—so to me, in the tight grasp of the Shadow came that light which alone could have startled me—the light of enduring Love. People were working at the grave where I lay in darkness. They were digging up the damp earth. On my decaying bones fell the coffin of Una.

And now again all was void. That nebulous light had been extinguished. That feeble thrill had vibrated itself into quiescence. Many lustra had supervened. Dust had returned to dust. The worm had food no more. The sense of being had at length utterly departed, and there reigned in its stead—instead of all things—dominant and perpetual—the autocrats Place and Time. For that which was not—for that which had no form—for that which had no thought—for that which had no sentience—for that which was soulless, yet of which matter formed no portion—for all this nothingness, yet for all this immortality, the grave was still a home, and the corrosive hours, co-mates.

And now once again everything was empty. That hazy light had gone out. That weak thrill had finally settled down. Many years had passed. Dust had returned to dust. The worm had no more to feed on. The sense of existence had completely faded away, and in its place—replacing everything—were the unyielding rulers Place and Time. For what was not—what had no shape—what had no thought—what had no awareness—what was soulless, yet where matter played no role—for all this nothingness, yet for all this immortality, the grave was still a home, and the relentless hours were comrades.

THE CONVERSATION OF EIROS AND CHARMION

Πυρ σοι προσοισω.
I will bring fire to thee.
                    —EURIPIDESAndrom.

Πυρ σοι προσοισω.
I will bring fire to you.
—EURIPIDESAndrom.

EIROS.
Why do you call me Eiros?

EIROS.
Why do you call me Eiros?

CHARMION.
So henceforward will you always be called. You must forget too, my earthly name, and speak to me as Charmion.

CHARMION.
From now on, that's what you'll always call me. You also need to forget my earthly name and refer to me as Charmion.

EIROS.
This is indeed no dream!

EIROS.
This is definitely not a dream!

CHARMION.
Dreams are with us no more; but of these mysteries anon. I rejoice to see you looking life-like and rational. The film of the shadow has already passed from off your eyes. Be of heart and fear nothing. Your allotted days of stupor have expired and, to-morrow, I will myself induct you into the full joys and wonders of your novel existence.

CHARMION.
Dreams are behind us now; but more on that later. I'm glad to see you looking so lively and clear-headed. The haze has lifted from your eyes. Stay strong and don’t be afraid. Your days of being in a daze are over, and tomorrow, I'll personally introduce you to all the joys and wonders of your new life.

EIROS.
True—I feel no stupor—none at all. The wild sickness and the terrible darkness have left me, and I hear no longer that mad, rushing, horrible sound, like the “voice of many waters.” Yet my senses are bewildered, Charmion, with the keenness of their perception of the new.

EIROS.
It's true—I feel completely awake—absolutely no numbness. The intense sickness and awful darkness have faded away, and I no longer hear that insane, rushing, terrible sound, like the “voice of many waters.” But my senses are confused, Charmion, overwhelmed by how sharp they are in experiencing everything new.

CHARMION.
A few days will remove all this;—but I fully understand you, and feel for you. It is now ten earthly years since I underwent what you undergo—yet the remembrance of it hangs by me still. You have now suffered all of pain, however, which you will suffer in Aidenn.

CHARMION.
Just a few days will change all of this;—but I completely understand you, and I empathize. It’s been ten years since I went through what you’re experiencing—yet the memory of it still lingers with me. You have now endured all the pain you will face in Aidenn.

EIROS.
In Aidenn?

EIROS.
In Eden?

CHARMION.
In Aidenn.

CHARMION.
In Eden.

EIROS.
Oh God!—pity me, Charmion!—I am overburthened with the majesty of all things—of the unknown now known—of the speculative Future merged in the august and certain Present.

EIROS.
Oh God!—have mercy on me, Charmion!—I am overwhelmed by the greatness of everything—of the once-unknown now revealed—of the uncertain Future blending into the important and certain Present.

CHARMION.
Grapple not now with such thoughts. To-morrow we will speak of this. Your mind wavers, and its agitation will find relief in the exercise of simple memories. Look not around, nor forward—but back. I am burning with anxiety to hear the details of that stupendous event which threw you among us. Tell me of it. Let us converse of familiar things, in the old familiar language of the world which has so fearfully perished.

CHARMION.
Don’t dwell on those thoughts right now. Tomorrow we can talk about this. Your mind is all over the place, and it will feel better by focusing on simple memories. Don’t look around or forward—just look back. I’m eager to hear the details of that incredible event that brought you here with us. Tell me about it. Let’s talk about familiar things, in the old, familiar way of the world that has sadly disappeared.

EIROS.
Most fearfully, fearfully!—this is indeed no dream.

EIROS.
It’s terrifying, really terrifying!—this is definitely not a dream.

CHARMION.
Dreams are no more. Was I much mourned, my Eiros?

CHARMION.
Dreams are gone. Did anyone miss me, my Eiros?

EIROS.
Mourned, Charmion?—oh deeply. To that last hour of all, there hung a cloud of intense gloom and devout sorrow over your household.

EIROS.
Did you mourn, Charmion?—oh, definitely. Even until the very last moment, there was a heavy cloud of deep sadness and heartfelt sorrow over your home.

CHARMION.
And that last hour—speak of it. Remember that, beyond the naked fact of the catastrophe itself, I know nothing. When, coming out from among mankind, I passed into Night through the Grave—at that period, if I remember aright, the calamity which overwhelmed you was utterly unanticipated. But, indeed, I knew little of the speculative philosophy of the day.

CHARMION.
And that last hour—let's talk about it. Remember, apart from the plain fact of the disaster itself, I know nothing. When I transitioned from the world of the living into the Night through the Grave—during that time, if I recall correctly, the disaster that struck you was completely unexpected. But honestly, I wasn't well-versed in the philosophical discussions of the time.

EIROS.
The individual calamity was as you say entirely unanticipated; but analogous misfortunes had been long a subject of discussion with astronomers. I need scarce tell you, my friend, that, even when you left us, men had agreed to understand those passages in the most holy writings which speak of the final destruction of all things by fire, as having reference to the orb of the earth alone. But in regard to the immediate agency of the ruin, speculation had been at fault from that epoch in astronomical knowledge in which the comets were divested of the terrors of flame. The very moderate density of these bodies had been well established. They had been observed to pass among the satellites of Jupiter, without bringing about any sensible alteration either in the masses or in the orbits of these secondary planets. We had long regarded the wanderers as vapory creations of inconceivable tenuity, and as altogether incapable of doing injury to our substantial globe, even in the event of contact. But contact was not in any degree dreaded; for the elements of all the comets were accurately known. That among them we should look for the agency of the threatened fiery destruction had been for many years considered an inadmissible idea. But wonders and wild fancies had been, of late days, strangely rife among mankind; and, although it was only with a few of the ignorant that actual apprehension prevailed, upon the announcement by astronomers of a new comet, yet this announcement was generally received with I know not what of agitation and mistrust.

EIROS.
The personal disaster was completely unexpected, but similar misfortunes had been a topic of discussion among astronomers for a long time. I hardly need to tell you, my friend, that even when you left us, people had come to understand those passages in the sacred writings describing the ultimate destruction of everything by fire as referring only to the earth itself. However, in terms of the immediate cause of that destruction, speculation had been misguided since the time when comets were no longer seen as fiery threats. It was well established that these bodies had a very low density. They had been observed passing among Jupiter’s moons without causing any noticeable change in the mass or orbits of these secondary planets. We had long seen these wanderers as ethereal creations of incredible lightness, completely unable to harm our solid globe, even if they came into contact. But contact wasn't feared at all; the orbits of all the comets were known with precision. The idea that we should look to them as the cause of the expected fiery destruction had been considered unacceptable for many years. Yet, in recent times, strange wonders and wild imaginations had become quite prevalent among people; and although only a few of the uninformed actually felt fear upon the announcement of a new comet by astronomers, this announcement was widely met with a sense of agitation and distrust.

The elements of the strange orb were immediately calculated, and it was at once conceded by all observers, that its path, at perihelion, would bring it into very close proximity with the earth. There were two or three astronomers, of secondary note, who resolutely maintained that a contact was inevitable. I cannot very well express to you the effect of this intelligence upon the people. For a few short days they would not believe an assertion which their intellect so long employed among worldly considerations could not in any manner grasp. But the truth of a vitally important fact soon makes its way into the understanding of even the most stolid. Finally, all men saw that astronomical knowledge lied not, and they awaited the comet. Its approach was not, at first, seemingly rapid; nor was its appearance of very unusual character. It was of a dull red, and had little perceptible train. For seven or eight days we saw no material increase in its apparent diameter, and but a partial alteration in its color. Meantime, the ordinary affairs of men were discarded and all interests absorbed in a growing discussion, instituted by the philosophic, in respect to the cometary nature. Even the grossly ignorant aroused their sluggish capacities to such considerations. The learned now gave their intellect—their soul—to no such points as the allaying of fear, or to the sustenance of loved theory. They sought—they panted for right views. They groaned for perfected knowledge. Truth arose in the purity of her strength and exceeding majesty, and the wise bowed down and adored.

The characteristics of the strange orb were quickly analyzed, and everyone agreed that its trajectory, at perihelion, would bring it very close to Earth. There were a couple of lesser-known astronomers who stubbornly insisted that contact was unavoidable. I can’t fully describe the impact of this news on the public. For a few days, they couldn’t accept a claim that their minds, used to dealing with everyday matters, couldn’t comprehend in any meaningful way. But the truth of such an important fact eventually sank in, even for the most skeptical. Finally, everyone understood that astronomical expertise was reliable, and they waited for the comet. Its approach didn’t seem very fast at first, nor did it look particularly remarkable. It appeared dull red, with a faint tail. For seven or eight days, we didn’t notice much change in its size, and just a slight shift in color. Meanwhile, everyday activities were pushed aside as everyone focused on a growing debate, led by philosophers, about the nature of comets. Even those who were often clueless engaged their sluggish minds with these ideas. The learned were no longer focused on calming fears or supporting their favorite theories. Instead, they sought the truth passionately. They longed for complete understanding. Truth emerged in its pure strength and incredible presence, and the wise bowed down in reverence.

That material injury to our globe or to its inhabitants would result from the apprehended contact, was an opinion which hourly lost ground among the wise; and the wise were now freely permitted to rule the reason and the fancy of the crowd. It was demonstrated, that the density of the comet’s nucleus was far less than that of our rarest gas; and the harmless passage of a similar visitor among the satellites of Jupiter was a point strongly insisted upon, and which served greatly to allay terror. Theologists with an earnestness fear-enkindled, dwelt upon the biblical prophecies, and expounded them to the people with a directness and simplicity of which no previous instance had been known. That the final destruction of the earth must be brought about by the agency of fire, was urged with a spirit that enforced every where conviction; and that the comets were of no fiery nature (as all men now knew) was a truth which relieved all, in a great measure, from the apprehension of the great calamity foretold. It is noticeable that the popular prejudices and vulgar errors in regard to pestilences and wars—errors which were wont to prevail upon every appearance of a comet—were now altogether unknown. As if by some sudden convulsive exertion, reason had at once hurled superstition from her throne. The feeblest intellect had derived vigor from excessive interest.

The idea that our planet or its people would suffer from the expected contact was a belief that was quickly losing support among the knowledgeable; and now those knowledgeable individuals were allowed to guide the thoughts and imaginations of the masses. It was shown that the density of the comet's core was much less than that of our lightest gas; and the safe passage of a similar visitor near Jupiter's moons was strongly emphasized, greatly reducing fear. Theologians, driven by a mix of fear and passion, focused on biblical prophecies, explaining them to the public with an unprecedented clarity and simplicity. They argued passionately that the earth's ultimate destruction would come through fire, and this conviction spread everywhere. The fact that comets weren’t fiery (as everyone now understood) eased many people's worries about the predicted disaster. It’s worth noting that the common superstitions and misconceptions about plagues and wars—beliefs that usually arose with every comet sighting—were now completely absent. It was as if, through a sudden burst of clarity, reason had forcefully dethroned superstition. Even the least intelligent among us had gained strength from this heightened interest.

What minor evils might arise from the contact were points of elaborate question. The learned spoke of slight geological disturbances, of probable alterations in climate, and consequently in vegetation, of possible magnetic and electric influences. Many held that no visible or perceptible effect would in any manner be produced. While such discussions were going on, their subject gradually approached, growing larger in apparent diameter, and of a more brilliant lustre. Mankind grew paler as it came. All human operations were suspended.

What small problems might come up from the contact became a topic of detailed discussion. The experts talked about minor geological changes, possible shifts in climate, and therefore in vegetation, and potential magnetic and electric effects. Many believed that there wouldn't be any visible or noticeable impact at all. While these talks progressed, their subject gradually approached, seeming larger and more brilliant. People grew paler as it got closer. All human activities came to a halt.

There was an epoch in the course of the general sentiment when the comet had attained, at length, a size surpassing that of any previously recorded visitation. The people now, dismissing any lingering hope that the astronomers were wrong, experienced all the certainty of evil. The chimerical aspect of their terror was gone. The hearts of the stoutest of our race beat violently within their bosoms. A very few days sufficed, however, to merge even such feelings in sentiments more unendurable We could no longer apply to the strange orb any accustomed thoughts. Its historical attributes had disappeared. It oppressed us with a hideous novelty of emotion. We saw it not as an astronomical phenomenon in the heavens, but as an incubus upon our hearts, and a shadow upon our brains. It had taken, with inconceivable rapidity, the character of a gigantic mantle of rare flame, extending from horizon to horizon.

There was a time when the comet had finally grown larger than any that had ever been seen before. The people, now letting go of any hope that the astronomers were mistaken, felt the full weight of impending doom. The unreal quality of their fear was gone. Even the bravest among us felt their hearts racing. But in just a few days, those feelings faded into even more unbearable ones. We could no longer think of the strange comet in familiar terms. Its familiar qualities had vanished. It weighed us down with a terrifying new emotion. We no longer saw it as an astronomical event in the sky, but as a burden on our hearts and a dark cloud over our minds. It had quickly taken on the form of a huge mantle of strange flame, stretching from horizon to horizon.

Yet a day, and men breathed with greater freedom. It was clear that we were already within the influence of the comet; yet we lived. We even felt an unusual elasticity of frame and vivacity of mind. The exceeding tenuity of the object of our dread was apparent; for all heavenly objects were plainly visible through it. Meantime, our vegetation had perceptibly altered; and we gained faith, from this predicted circumstance, in the foresight of the wise. A wild luxuriance of foliage, utterly unknown before, burst out upon every vegetable thing.

Yet another day passed, and people felt a sense of freedom. It was obvious that we were already under the influence of the comet, but we were still alive. We even felt an unusual spring in our step and a liveliness of spirit. The extreme thinness of what we feared was evident, as all celestial objects were clearly visible through it. In the meantime, our plant life had noticeably changed; and from this predicted event, we gained confidence in the wisdom of those who foresaw it. A wild abundance of leaves, completely unknown before, erupted on every plant.

Yet another day—and the evil was not altogether upon us. It was now evident that its nucleus would first reach us. A wild change had come over all men; and the first sense of pain was the wild signal for general lamentation and horror. This first sense of pain lay in a rigorous constriction of the breast and lungs, and an insufferable dryness of the skin. It could not be denied that our atmosphere was radically affected; the conformation of this atmosphere and the possible modifications to which it might be subjected, were now the topics of discussion. The result of investigation sent an electric thrill of the intensest terror through the universal heart of man.

Yet another day—and the evil hadn’t fully taken hold of us yet. It was clear that its core would be the first to reach us. A wild change had swept over everyone; the first feeling of pain became a frantic signal for widespread mourning and fear. This initial pain manifested as a tightness in the chest and lungs, along with an unbearable dryness of the skin. It was undeniable that our atmosphere was fundamentally altered; the nature of this atmosphere and the potential changes it might undergo became the focus of our discussions. The findings from our investigations sent an electric jolt of pure terror through the hearts of everyone.

It had been long known that the air which encircled us was a compound of oxygen and nitrogen gases, in the proportion of twenty-one measures of oxygen, and seventy-nine of nitrogen in every one hundred of the atmosphere. Oxygen, which was the principle of combustion, and the vehicle of heat, was absolutely necessary to the support of animal life, and was the most powerful and energetic agent in nature. Nitrogen, on the contrary, was incapable of supporting either animal life or flame. An unnatural excess of oxygen would result, it had been ascertained in just such an elevation of the animal spirits as we had latterly experienced. It was the pursuit, the extension of the idea, which had engendered awe. What would be the result of a total extraction of the nitrogen? A combustion irresistible, all-devouring, omni-prevalent, immediate;—the entire fulfilment, in all their minute and terrible details, of the fiery and horror-inspiring denunciations of the prophecies of the Holy Book.

It had long been known that the air around us is made up of oxygen and nitrogen gases, with twenty-one parts oxygen and seventy-nine parts nitrogen in every one hundred parts of the atmosphere. Oxygen, which is essential for burning and heat, is crucial for supporting animal life and is the most powerful and active element in nature. Nitrogen, on the other hand, cannot support animal life or fire. It had been discovered that an unnatural excess of oxygen would lead to just the kind of heightened spirits we had recently experienced. It was the pursuit and expansion of this idea that had created a sense of awe. What would happen if all the nitrogen were removed? A fire that is unstoppable, all-consuming, everywhere-present, and immediate—fulfilling, in all its horrifying details, the fiery and terrifying warnings found in the prophecies of the Holy Book.

Why need I paint, Charmion, the now disenchained frenzy of mankind? That tenuity in the comet which had previously inspired us with hope, was now the source of the bitterness of despair. In its impalpable gaseous character we clearly perceived the consummation of Fate. Meantime a day again passed—bearing away with it the last shadow of Hope. We gasped in the rapid modification of the air. The red blood bounded tumultuously through its strict channels. A furious delirium possessed all men; and, with arms rigidly outstretched towards the threatening heavens, they trembled and shrieked aloud. But the nucleus of the destroyer was now upon us; even here in Aidenn, I shudder while I speak. Let me be brief—brief as the ruin that overwhelmed. For a moment there was a wild lurid light alone, visiting and penetrating all things. Then—let us bow down, Charmion, before the excessive majesty of the great God!—then, there came a shouting and pervading sound, as if from the mouth itself of HIM; while the whole incumbent mass of ether in which we existed, burst at once into a species of intense flame, for whose surpassing brilliancy and all-fervid heat even the angels in the high Heaven of pure knowledge have no name. Thus ended all.

Why do I need to paint, Charmion, the now freed frenzy of mankind? That thin light from the comet that once filled us with hope has now become the source of bitter despair. In its intangible, gaseous form, we clearly saw the end of Fate. Meanwhile, another day passed—taking away the last remnants of Hope. We struggled to breathe in the rapidly changing air. Our blood raced wildly through its tight channels. A furious madness took hold of everyone; with arms rigidly stretched toward the threatening sky, they trembled and screamed. But the core of the destroyer was now upon us; even here in Eden, I shudder as I speak. Let me be quick—quick like the ruin that overwhelmed us. For a moment, there was a wild, eerie light alone, visiting and penetrating everything. Then—let us bow down, Charmion, before the overwhelming majesty of the great God!—then, there came a shouting and all-encompassing sound, as if from the mouth of HIM; while the entire mass of ether in which we existed exploded into a kind of intense flame, whose brilliance and all-consuming heat even the angels in the high Heaven of pure knowledge cannot name. Thus, everything ended.

SHADOW—A PARABLE

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the Shadow.
                    —Psalm of David.

Yes, even though I walk through the valley of the Shadow.
                    —Psalm of David.

Ye who read are still among the living; but I who write shall have long since gone my way into the region of shadows. For indeed strange things shall happen, and secret things be known, and many centuries shall pass away, ere these memorials be seen of men. And, when seen, there will be some to disbelieve, and some to doubt, and yet a few who will find much to ponder upon in the characters here graven with a stylus of iron.

You who read are still alive; but I who write will have long since moved on to the realm of shadows. Truly, strange things will occur, and hidden truths will be revealed, and many centuries will pass before these records are seen by people. When they are seen, some will disbelieve, some will doubt, and a few will find much to contemplate in the words etched here with an iron pen.

The year had been a year of terror, and of feelings more intense than terror for which there is no name upon the earth. For many prodigies and signs had taken place, and far and wide, over sea and land, the black wings of the Pestilence were spread abroad. To those, nevertheless, cunning in the stars, it was not unknown that the heavens wore an aspect of ill; and to me, the Greek Oinos, among others, it was evident that now had arrived the alternation of that seven hundred and ninety-fourth year when, at the entrance of Aries, the planet Jupiter is conjoined with the red ring of the terrible Saturnus. The peculiar spirit of the skies, if I mistake not greatly, made itself manifest, not only in the physical orb of the earth, but in the souls, imaginations, and meditations of mankind.

The year had been one of terror, and feelings even more intense than terror that have no name on earth. Many strange events and signs had occurred, and across the seas and land, the dark wings of the Plague spread widely. However, for those skilled in astrology, it was clear that the heavens were ominous; and for me, the Greek Oinos, among others, it was evident that we had reached the turn of that seven hundred and ninety-fourth year when, at the beginning of Aries, the planet Jupiter aligns with the red ring of the fearsome Saturn. The unique energy of the skies, if I’m not mistaken, revealed itself not only in the physical world but also in the souls, thoughts, and reflections of humanity.

Over some flasks of the red Chian wine, within the walls of a noble hall, in a dim city called Ptolemais, we sat, at night, a company of seven. And to our chamber there was no entrance save by a lofty door of brass: and the door was fashioned by the artisan Corinnos, and, being of rare workmanship, was fastened from within. Black draperies, likewise, in the gloomy room, shut out from our view the moon, the lurid stars, and the peopleless streets—but the boding and the memory of Evil, they would not be so excluded. There were things around us and about of which I can render no distinct account—things material and spiritual—heaviness in the atmosphere—a sense of suffocation—anxiety—and, above all, that terrible state of existence which the nervous experience when the senses are keenly living and awake, and meanwhile the powers of thought lie dormant. A dead weight hung upon us. It hung upon our limbs—upon the household furniture—upon the goblets from which we drank; and all things were depressed, and borne down thereby—all things save only the flames of the seven lamps which illumined our revel. Uprearing themselves in tall slender lines of light, they thus remained burning all pallid and motionless; and in the mirror which their lustre formed upon the round table of ebony at which we sat, each of us there assembled beheld the pallor of his own countenance, and the unquiet glare in the downcast eyes of his companions. Yet we laughed and were merry in our proper way—which was hysterical; and sang the songs of Anacreon—which are madness; and drank deeply—although the purple wine reminded us of blood. For there was yet another tenant of our chamber in the person of young Zoilus. Dead, and at full length he lay, enshrouded; the genius and the demon of the scene. Alas! he bore no portion in our mirth, save that his countenance, distorted with the plague, and his eyes, in which Death had but half extinguished the fire of the pestilence, seemed to take such interest in our merriment as the dead may haply take in the merriment of those who are to die. But although I, Oinos, felt that the eyes of the departed were upon me, still I forced myself not to perceive the bitterness of their expression, and gazing down steadily into the depths of the ebony mirror, sang with a loud and sonorous voice the songs of the son of Teios. But gradually my songs they ceased, and their echoes, rolling afar off among the sable draperies of the chamber, became weak, and undistinguishable, and so faded away. And lo! from among those sable draperies where the sounds of the song departed, there came forth a dark and undefined shadow—a shadow such as the moon, when low in heaven, might fashion from the figure of a man: but it was the shadow neither of man nor of God, nor of any familiar thing. And quivering awhile among the draperies of the room, it at length rested in full view upon the surface of the door of brass. But the shadow was vague, and formless, and indefinite, and was the shadow neither of man nor of God—neither God of Greece, nor God of Chaldaea, nor any Egyptian God. And the shadow rested upon the brazen doorway, and under the arch of the entablature of the door, and moved not, nor spoke any word, but there became stationary and remained. And the door whereupon the shadow rested was, if I remember aright, over against the feet of the young Zoilus enshrouded. But we, the seven there assembled, having seen the shadow as it came out from among the draperies, dared not steadily behold it, but cast down our eyes, and gazed continually into the depths of the mirror of ebony. And at length I, Oinos, speaking some low words, demanded of the shadow its dwelling and its appellation. And the shadow answered, “I am SHADOW, and my dwelling is near to the Catacombs of Ptolemais, and hard by those dim plains of Helusion which border upon the foul Charonian canal.” And then did we, the seven, start from our seats in horror, and stand trembling, and shuddering, and aghast, for the tones in the voice of the shadow were not the tones of any one being, but of a multitude of beings, and, varying in their cadences from syllable to syllable fell duskly upon our ears in the well-remembered and familiar accents of many thousand departed friends.

Over some glasses of red Chian wine, inside a noble hall in a dim city called Ptolemais, we sat at night as a group of seven. The only way into our chamber was through a tall brass door, crafted by the artisan Corinnos. It was a rare piece, secured from the inside. Black drapes in the dark room blocked our view of the moon, the glaring stars, and the empty streets—yet the sense of foreboding and memories of Evil could not be kept out. There were things around us that I can't quite describe—both material and spiritual—an oppressive heaviness in the atmosphere, a feeling of suffocation, anxiety, and, above all, that terrible state of existence when the senses are vividly alive while the powers of thought lie dormant. A dead weight pressed down on us. It weighed upon our limbs, the furniture in the room, and the goblets we drank from; everything felt heavy and burdened, except for the flames of the seven lamps that lit our gathering. They stood tall and slender, glowing pale and motionless; in the reflection they created on the ebony table where we sat, each of us saw the paleness of our own faces and the unsettling gleam in the downcast eyes of our companions. Yet we laughed and tried to enjoy ourselves in our own way, which was a bit frantic; we sang Anacreon's songs, filled with madness, and drank deeply, even though the rich purple wine reminded us of blood. For there was another presence in our chamber: young Zoilus. He lay dead, completely shrouded; the genius and the demon of the scene. Alas! He took no part in our revelry, except for the way his plague-warped face and his eyes, half extinguished by Death, appeared to observe our merriment with the disinterest of the dead toward the living's frivolities. But even though I, Oinos, felt the gaze of the departed upon me, I forced myself to ignore the bitterness in their expression, and, staring steadily into the depths of the ebony mirror, I sang in a loud, sonorous voice the songs of the son of Teios. Gradually, my songs faded, and their echoes, rolling off among the black drapes of the room, became weak and indistinct, until they vanished completely. Then, from among those dark drapes where the sounds of my song had departed, a dark and undefined shadow emerged—a shadow like the one the moon might cast from a figure of a man, but it was neither human nor divine, nor anything familiar. It quivered for a moment among the drapes before settling into full view on the brass door. But the shadow was vague, formless, and indefinite, not resembling man, God of Greece, God of Chaldaea, or any Egyptian deity. It rested upon the brass doorway, under the arch of the door's frame, not moving or speaking, but standing still. The door where the shadow rested was, if I remember correctly, directly in front of the feet of the young, shrouded Zoilus. We, the seven gathered there, having seen the shadow emerge from the drapes, dared not look at it directly but kept our eyes down and gazed into the depths of the ebony mirror. Finally, I, Oinos, murmured some quiet words, asking the shadow its name and where it dwelled. The shadow replied, “I am SHADOW, and I dwell near the Catacombs of Ptolemais, close to the dim plains of Helusion that border the foul Charonian canal.” At that moment, we, the seven, jumped from our seats in terror, standing there trembling, shuddering, and aghast, for the tones of the shadow's voice were not those of a single being, but of a multitude, their sounds shifting from syllable to syllable and falling darkly on our ears in the familiar accents of many thousands of departed friends.

VOLUME 5.

PHILOSOPHY OF FURNITURE.

In the internal decoration, if not in the external architecture of their residences, the English are supreme. The Italians have but little sentiment beyond marbles and colours. In France, meliora probant, deteriora sequuntur—the people are too much a race of gadabouts to maintain those household proprieties of which, indeed, they have a delicate appreciation, or at least the elements of a proper sense. The Chinese and most of the eastern races have a warm but inappropriate fancy. The Scotch are poor decorists. The Dutch have, perhaps, an indeterminate idea that a curtain is not a cabbage. In Spain they are all curtains—a nation of hangmen. The Russians do not furnish. The Hottentots and Kickapoos are very well in their way. The Yankees alone are preposterous.

In home decor, if not in the external design of their houses, the English are the best. Italians focus mainly on marble and color, lacking deeper sentiment. In France, meliora probant, deteriora sequuntur—the people are too much into socializing to uphold the household standards that they actually have a keen sense for, or at least some of the elements of good taste. The Chinese and most Eastern cultures have a warm but misplaced sense of style. The Scots aren't great decorators. The Dutch have a vague idea that a curtain isn't a cabbage. In Spain, they’re obsessed with curtains—a nation full of hangers. The Russians don’t bother with furnishings. The Hottentots and Kickapoos have their own charm. The Yankees, on the other hand, are just absurd.

How this happens, it is not difficult to see. We have no aristocracy of blood, and having therefore as a natural, and indeed as an inevitable thing, fashioned for ourselves an aristocracy of dollars, the display of wealth has here to take the place and perform the office of the heraldic display in monarchical countries. By a transition readily understood, and which might have been as readily foreseen, we have been brought to merge in simple show our notions of taste itself.

It's easy to understand how this happens. We don't have a nobility based on lineage, so instead we've naturally created a hierarchy based on money. Here, the display of wealth takes the place of the traditional symbols of nobility found in monarchies. Through a shift that’s easy to grasp—and could have been predicted—we've come to equate mere show with our ideas of taste.

To speak less abstractly. In England, for example, no mere parade of costly appurtenances would be so likely as with us, to create an impression of the beautiful in respect to the appurtenances themselves—or of taste as regards the proprietor:—this for the reason, first, that wealth is not, in England, the loftiest object of ambition as constituting a nobility; and secondly, that there, the true nobility of blood, confining itself within the strict limits of legitimate taste, rather avoids than affects that mere costliness in which a parvenu rivalry may at any time be successfully attempted.

To make it clearer, in England, for instance, simply showcasing expensive possessions is less likely to impress people as beautiful or indicate good taste about the owner compared to us. This is mainly because, in England, wealth isn’t the highest goal of ambition when it comes to being considered noble. Additionally, the real nobility there, which stays within the boundaries of true taste, typically avoids the flashy extravagance that those trying to show off can easily imitate.

The people will imitate the nobles, and the result is a thorough diffusion of the proper feeling. But in America, the coins current being the sole arms of the aristocracy, their display may be said, in general, to be the sole means of the aristocratic distinction; and the populace, looking always upward for models, are insensibly led to confound the two entirely separate ideas of magnificence and beauty. In short, the cost of an article of furniture has at length come to be, with us, nearly the sole test of its merit in a decorative point of view—and this test, once established, has led the way to many analogous errors, readily traceable to the one primitive folly.

The people will copy the wealthy, and the outcome is a widespread spread of the right feeling. But in America, since money is the only power of the aristocracy, its display is generally the only way to achieve aristocratic distinction; and the masses, always looking up to find role models, unknowingly start to confuse the completely different concepts of grandeur and beauty. In short, the price of a piece of furniture has come to be, for us, almost the only standard of its quality in terms of decoration—and once this standard was set, it led to many similar mistakes, easily linked back to that primary folly.

There could be nothing more directly offensive to the eye of an artist than the interior of what is termed in the United States—that is to say, in Appallachia—a well-furnished apartment. Its most usual defect is a want of keeping. We speak of the keeping of a room as we would of the keeping of a picture—for both the picture and the room are amenable to those undeviating principles which regulate all varieties of art; and very nearly the same laws by which we decide on the higher merits of a painting, suffice for decision on the adjustment of a chamber.

There’s nothing more irritating to an artist's eye than the interior of what’s called in the United States—specifically in Appalachia—a well-furnished apartment. Its most common flaw is a lack of maintenance. We talk about the upkeep of a room just like we would about the upkeep of a painting—since both are subject to the consistent principles that govern all forms of art. The same standards we use to evaluate the quality of a painting also apply to how we assess the arrangement of a room.

A want of keeping is observable sometimes in the character of the several pieces of furniture, but generally in their colours or modes of adaptation to use Very often the eye is offended by their inartistic arrangement. Straight lines are too prevalent—too uninterruptedly continued—or clumsily interrupted at right angles. If curved lines occur, they are repeated into unpleasant uniformity. By undue precision, the appearance of many a fine apartment is utterly spoiled.

Sometimes, you can notice a lack of cohesion in the various pieces of furniture, particularly in their colors or how they are suited for use. Often, the way they are arranged can be quite unappealing. Straight lines are too common—either they go on too long without interruption or they are awkwardly interrupted at right angles. When curved lines are present, they tend to repeat in a way that is annoyingly uniform. Due to excessive precision, many beautiful rooms lose their charm completely.

Curtains are rarely well disposed, or well chosen in respect to other decorations. With formal furniture, curtains are out of place; and an extensive volume of drapery of any kind is, under any circumstance, irreconcilable with good taste—the proper quantum, as well as the proper adjustment, depending upon the character of the general effect.

Curtains are seldom selected or arranged well in relation to other decor. With formal furniture, curtains look out of place, and having too much drapery of any kind is always at odds with good taste— the right amount and arrangement depend on the overall aesthetic.

Carpets are better understood of late than of ancient days, but we still very frequently err in their patterns and colours. The soul of the apartment is the carpet. From it are deduced not only the hues but the forms of all objects incumbent. A judge at common law may be an ordinary man; a good judge of a carpet must be a genius. Yet we have heard discoursing of carpets, with the air “d’un mouton qui reve,” fellows who should not and who could not be entrusted with the management of their own moustaches. Every one knows that a large floor may have a covering of large figures, and that a small one must have a covering of small—yet this is not all the knowledge in the world. As regards texture, the Saxony is alone admissible. Brussels is the preterpluperfect tense of fashion, and Turkey is taste in its dying agonies. Touching pattern—a carpet should not be bedizzened out like a Riccaree Indian—all red chalk, yellow ochre, and cock’s feathers. In brief—distinct grounds, and vivid circular or cycloid figures, of no meaning, are here Median laws. The abomination of flowers, or representations of well-known objects of any kind, should not be endured within the limits of Christendom. Indeed, whether on carpets, or curtains, or tapestry, or ottoman coverings, all upholstery of this nature should be rigidly Arabesque. As for those antique floor-cloth & still occasionally seen in the dwellings of the rabble—cloths of huge, sprawling, and radiating devises, stripe-interspersed, and glorious with all hues, among which no ground is intelligible—these are but the wicked invention of a race of time-servers and money-lovers—children of Baal and worshippers of Mammon—Benthams, who, to spare thought and economize fancy, first cruelly invented the Kaleidoscope, and then established joint-stock companies to twirl it by steam.

Carpets are understood better today than in ancient times, but we often still make mistakes with their patterns and colors. The carpet is the soul of the room. It influences not only the colors but also the shapes of all the objects in the space. A common law judge might just be an average person; a good judge of a carpet must be a genius. Yet, we've heard people talk about carpets with the demeanor of “a dreaming sheep,” those who shouldn't and couldn't be trusted to manage their own mustaches. Everyone knows that a large room can have a carpet with large patterns, and a small room should have one with small patterns—yet this isn't all the knowledge there is. When it comes to texture, only Saxony is acceptable. Brussels is outdated fashion, and Turkish carpets are taste in its last gasp. Regarding patterns—a carpet shouldn't be overloaded like a colorful Indian with red chalk, yellow ochre, and rooster feathers. In short—distinct backgrounds and bright circular or curvy designs, which have no meaning, are the proper rules. Floral patterns or depictions of familiar objects should not be tolerated within the realm of Christendom. Indeed, whether on carpets, curtains, tapestries, or ottoman covers, all upholstery of this type should strictly be in arabesque style. As for those old-fashioned floor cloths still sometimes found in the homes of the lower classes—those with huge, sprawling, radiating designs, striped, and bursting with colors, where no clear background is visible—these are merely the vile creations of a group of opportunists and money-obsessed individuals—children of Baal and followers of Mammon—Benthams, who, to avoid thinking and save creativity, first cruelly invented the kaleidoscope, and then formed companies to operate it by steam.

Glare is a leading error in the philosophy of American household decoration—an error easily recognised as deduced from the perversion of taste just specified., We are violently enamoured of gas and of glass. The former is totally inadmissible within doors. Its harsh and unsteady light offends. No one having both brains and eyes will use it. A mild, or what artists term a cool light, with its consequent warm shadows, will do wonders for even an ill-furnished apartment. Never was a more lovely thought than that of the astral lamp. We mean, of course, the astral lamp proper—the lamp of Argand, with its original plain ground-glass shade, and its tempered and uniform moonlight rays. The cut-glass shade is a weak invention of the enemy. The eagerness with which we have adopted it, partly on account of its flashiness, but principally on account of its greater rest, is a good commentary on the proposition with which we began. It is not too much to say, that the deliberate employer of a cut-glass shade, is either radically deficient in taste, or blindly subservient to the caprices of fashion. The light proceeding from one of these gaudy abominations is unequal broken, and painful. It alone is sufficient to mar a world of good effect in the furniture subjected to its influence. Female loveliness, in especial, is more than one-half disenchanted beneath its evil eye.

Glare is a major mistake in the philosophy of American home decoration—an error that's easily recognized as stemming from the distortion of taste just mentioned. We're overly obsessed with gas and glass. The former is completely unacceptable indoors. Its harsh and flickering light is offensive. No one with both sense and sight would use it. A soft, or what artists call a cool light, along with its resulting warm shadows, can work wonders even in a poorly furnished space. There has never been a more beautiful idea than the astral lamp. We're referring to the true astral lamp—the Argand lamp, with its original plain ground-glass shade and its gentle, even moonlight rays. The cut-glass shade is a weak invention of the opponent. The eagerness with which we adopted it, partly due to its flashiness but mainly because of its greater comfort, is a strong commentary on the point we started with. It's fair to say that anyone who deliberately uses a cut-glass shade is either seriously lacking in taste or blindly following fashion trends. The light coming from one of these gaudy abominations is uneven, harsh, and harsh. It’s enough to ruin the overall beauty of the furniture it shines on. Female beauty, in particular, is often diminished under its negative influence.

In the matter of glass, generally, we proceed upon false principles. Its leading feature is glitter—and in that one word how much of all that is detestable do we express! Flickering, unquiet lights, are sometimes pleasing—to children and idiots always so—but in the embellishment of a room they should be scrupulously avoided. In truth, even strong steady lights are inadmissible. The huge and unmeaning glass chandeliers, prism-cut, gas-lighted, and without shade, which dangle in our most fashionable drawing-rooms, may be cited as the quintessence of all that is false in taste or preposterous in folly.

When it comes to glass, we generally operate on flawed ideas. Its main feature is glitter—and that one word expresses so much of what is unpleasant! Flickering, restless lights can be sometimes appealing—to children and fools always so—but when it comes to decorating a room, they should be carefully avoided. In reality, even strong steady lights are not acceptable. The large and meaningless glass chandeliers, cut like prisms, lit by gas, and without shades, that hang in our trendiest living rooms, can be seen as the essence of everything that is tasteless or utterly ridiculous.

The rage for glitter-because its idea has become as we before observed, confounded with that of magnificence in the abstract—has led us, also, to the exaggerated employment of mirrors. We line our dwellings with great British plates, and then imagine we have done a fine thing. Now the slightest thought will be sufficient to convince any one who has an eye at all, of the ill effect of numerous looking-glasses, and especially of large ones. Regarded apart from its reflection, the mirror presents a continuous, flat, colourless, unrelieved surface,—a thing always and obviously unpleasant. Considered as a reflector, it is potent in producing a monstrous and odious uniformity: and the evil is here aggravated, not in merely direct proportion with the augmentation of its sources, but in a ratio constantly increasing. In fact, a room with four or five mirrors arranged at random, is, for all purposes of artistic show, a room of no shape at all. If we add to this evil, the attendant glitter upon glitter, we have a perfect farrago of discordant and displeasing effects. The veriest bumpkin, on entering an apartment so bedizzened, would be instantly aware of something wrong, although he might be altogether unable to assign a cause for his dissatisfaction. But let the same person be led into a room tastefully furnished, and he would be startled into an exclamation of pleasure and surprise.

The obsession with glitter-—because its concept has become, as we noted earlier, mixed up with the idea of grandeur—has also pushed us to excessively use mirrors. We decorate our homes with large British mirrors and then think we've done something impressive. However, just a moment of reflection will show anyone with even a slight sense of style the negative impact of having so many mirrors, especially large ones. When you look at a mirror without considering its reflection, it presents a continuous, flat, colorless, and dull surface—something that’s always clearly unappealing. When seen as a reflector, it creates a disturbing and unpleasant uniformity; and the issue worsens not just in direct relation to the increase in mirrors but grows disproportionately. In fact, a room with four or five mirrors randomly placed is, artistically speaking, a shapeless space. If we add the issue of glitter upon glitter, we end up with a chaotic mix of clashing and unpleasant visuals. Even the most unsophisticated person would notice something off as soon as they walked into such a flamboyant room, even if they couldn't pinpoint the reason for their discomfort. But if the same person were taken into a tastefully decorated room, they would be genuinely surprised and pleased.

It is an evil growing out of our republican institutions, that here a man of large purse has usually a very little soul which he keeps in it. The corruption of taste is a portion or a pendant of the dollar-manufacture. As we grow rich, our ideas grow rusty. It is, therefore, not among our aristocracy that we must look (if at all, in Appallachia), for the spirituality of a British boudoir. But we have seen apartments in the tenure of Americans of moderns [possibly “modest” or “moderate”] means, which, in negative merit at least, might vie with any of the or-molu’d cabinets of our friends across the water. Even now, there is present to our mind’s eye a small and not, ostentatious chamber with whose decorations no fault can be found. The proprietor lies asleep on a sofa—the weather is cool—the time is near midnight: we will make a sketch of the room during his slumber.

It’s a problem stemming from our democratic system that here a wealthy man often has a very small soul to go along with it. The decline in taste is a part or a byproduct of the wealth created by money. As we get richer, our ideas become outdated. So, it’s not among our elite that we should look (if at all, in Appalachia) for the depth of a British boudoir. However, we have seen rooms owned by modern Americans with modest means that, at the very least, could compete with any of the ornate furnishings of our friends across the ocean. Even now, we can picture a small and not overly showy room decorated without any flaws. The owner is asleep on a sofa—the weather is cool—and it’s close to midnight: let’s take a sketch of the room while he sleeps.

It is oblong—some thirty feet in length and twenty-five in breadth—a shape affording the best(ordinary) opportunities for the adjustment of furniture. It has but one door—by no means a wide one—which is at one end of the parallelogram, and but two windows, which are at the other. These latter are large, reaching down to the floor—have deep recesses—and open on an Italian veranda. Their panes are of a crimson-tinted glass, set in rose-wood framings, more massive than usual. They are curtained within the recess, by a thick silver tissue adapted to the shape of the window, and hanging loosely in small volumes. Without the recess are curtains of an exceedingly rich crimson silk, fringed with a deep network of gold, and lined with silver tissue, which is the material of the exterior blind. There are no cornices; but the folds of the whole fabric (which are sharp rather than massive, and have an airy appearance), issue from beneath a broad entablature of rich giltwork, which encircles the room at the junction of the ceiling and walls. The drapery is thrown open also, or closed, by means of a thick rope of gold loosely enveloping it, and resolving itself readily into a knot; no pins or other such devices are apparent. The colours of the curtains and their fringe—the tints of crimson and gold—appear everywhere in profusion, and determine the character of the room. The carpet—of Saxony material—is quite half an inch thick, and is of the same crimson ground, relieved simply by the appearance of a gold cord (like that festooning the curtains) slightly relieved above the surface of the ground, and thrown upon it in such a manner as to form a succession of short irregular curves—one occasionally overlaying the other. The walls are prepared with a glossy paper of a silver gray tint, spotted with small Arabesque devices of a fainter hue of the prevalent crimson. Many paintings relieve the expanse of paper. These are chiefly landscapes of an imaginative cast—such as the fairy grottoes of Stanfield, or the lake of the Dismal Swamp of Chapman. There are, nevertheless, three or four female heads, of an ethereal beauty-portraits in the manner of Sully. The tone of each picture is warm, but dark. There are no “brilliant effects.” Repose speaks in all. Not one is of small size. Diminutive paintings give that spotty look to a room, which is the blemish of so many a fine work of Art overtouched. The frames are broad but not deep, and richly carved, without being dulled or filagreed. They have the whole lustre of burnished gold. They lie flat on the walls, and do not hang off with cords. The designs themselves are often seen to better advantage in this latter position, but the general appearance of the chamber is injured. But one mirror—and this not a very large one—is visible. In shape it is nearly circular—and it is hung so that a reflection of the person can be obtained from it in none of the ordinary sitting-places of the room. Two large low sofas of rosewood and crimson silk, gold-flowered, form the only seats, with the exception of two light conversation chairs, also of rose-wood. There is a pianoforte (rose-wood, also), without cover, and thrown open. An octagonal table, formed altogether of the richest gold-threaded marble, is placed near one of the sofas. This is also without cover—the drapery of the curtains has been thought sufficient.. Four large and gorgeous Sevres vases, in which bloom a profusion of sweet and vivid flowers, occupy the slightly rounded angles of the room. A tall candelabrum, bearing a small antique lamp with highly perfumed oil, is standing near the head of my sleeping friend. Some light and graceful hanging shelves, with golden edges and crimson silk cords with gold tassels, sustain two or three hundred magnificently bound books. Beyond these things, there is no furniture, if we except an Argand lamp, with a plain crimson-tinted ground glass shade, which depends from He lofty vaulted ceiling by a single slender gold chain, and throws a tranquil but magical radiance over all.

It’s an oblong shape—about thirty feet long and twenty-five feet wide—perfect for arranging furniture. There’s only one door, which isn’t very wide, located at one end of the rectangle, and two windows at the other end. These windows are large, reaching down to the floor, with deep recesses, and open onto an Italian veranda. The panes are made of crimson-tinted glass framed in thick rosewood. Inside the recess, there are curtains made of heavy silver fabric that fit the shape of the windows and hang loosely in little folds. Outside the recess, the curtains are a rich crimson silk, fringed with intricate gold designs, lined with the same silver fabric used for the exterior blinds. There are no cornices, but the folds of the fabric, which look light rather than heavy, fall from a broad, ornate gilded entablature that runs along where the ceiling meets the walls. The drapes can be drawn open or closed using a thick gold rope that wraps around them and easily ties into a knot; no pins are visible. The colors of the curtains and their fringes—the deep reds and golds—are prominent and define the room's character. The carpet, made of Saxony material, is about half an inch thick, in a similar crimson color, adorned simply with a raised gold cord (like that on the curtains) that creates a series of short, irregular curves across its surface, sometimes overlapping. The walls are covered in glossy silver-gray wallpaper, decorated with small arabesque patterns in a lighter shade of the same red. Several paintings decorate the wallpaper, mostly imaginative landscapes—like the enchanting grottoes of Stanfield or Chapman's lake at Dismal Swamp. However, there are also three or four female portraits of ethereal beauty, painted in a style reminiscent of Sully. Each picture has a warm but dark tone. There are no bright effects; tranquility radiates from all of them. None are small; tiny paintings often give a room a cluttered look, which is a flaw in many overworked fine art pieces. The frames are wide but shallow, richly carved without looking heavy or gaudy. They shine like burnished gold and lay flat against the walls, rather than hanging with cords. This positioning makes the artwork appear better, but it does detract from the overall look of the room. Only one mirror is visible, and it's not very large. It’s almost circular, positioned so that no one can see their reflection while sitting in the room’s usual spots. Two large, low sofas made of rosewood and crimson silk with gold flowers are the only seats, along with two light conversation chairs also made from rosewood. There’s a rosewood piano, left open and without a cover. An octagonal table made entirely of the finest marble threaded with gold sits near one of the sofas, also without a cover, relying on the drapery of the curtains for decor. Four large, stunning Sevres vases filled with a variety of colorful flowers are positioned in the room’s curved corners. A tall candelabrum holds a small antique lamp filled with highly scented oil and stands beside my sleeping friend. Light and delicate hanging shelves, edged with gold and adorned with crimson silk cords and gold tassels, hold two or three hundred beautifully bound books. Aside from these items, there’s no other furniture, except for an Argand lamp featuring a simple crimson-tinted glass shade that hangs from the high vaulted ceiling by a single thin gold chain, casting a peaceful but enchanting glow over everything.

A TALE OF JERUSALEM

Intensos rigidam in frontem ascendere canos
Passus erat——
                    —Lucan—De Catone

Intensely they rose stiffly to the front
He was suffering——
—Lucan—De Catone

——a bristly bore.                     Translation.

a prickly bore.                     Translation.

“Let us hurry to the walls,” said Abel-Phittim to Buzi-Ben-Levi and Simeon the Pharisee, on the tenth day of the month Thammuz, in the year of the world three thousand nine hundred and forty-one—“let us hasten to the ramparts adjoining the gate of Benjamin, which is in the city of David, and overlooking the camp of the uncircumcised; for it is the last hour of the fourth watch, being sunrise; and the idolaters, in fulfilment of the promise of Pompey, should be awaiting us with the lambs for the sacrifices.”

“Let’s hurry to the walls,” said Abel-Phittim to Buzi-Ben-Levi and Simeon the Pharisee, on the tenth day of the month Thammuz, in the year 3941—“let’s rush to the ramparts near the gate of Benjamin, which is in the city of David, and overlooks the camp of the uncircumcised; for it’s the last hour of the fourth watch, which is sunrise; and the idolaters, keeping the promise of Pompey, should be waiting for us with the lambs for the sacrifices.”

Simeon, Abel-Phittim, and Duzi-Ben-Levi were the Gizbarim, or sub-collectors of the offering, in the holy city of Jerusalem.

Simeon, Abel-Phittim, and Duzi-Ben-Levi were the Gizbarim, or sub-collectors of the offering, in the holy city of Jerusalem.

“Verily,” replied the Pharisee; “let us hasten: for this generosity in the heathen is unwonted; and fickle-mindedness has ever been an attribute of the worshippers of Baal.”

“Truly,” replied the Pharisee; “let’s hurry: for this kindness from the pagans is unusual; and being unreliable has always been a trait of the worshippers of Baal.”

“That they are fickle-minded and treacherous is as true as the Pentateuch,” said Buzi-Ben-Levi, “but that is only toward the people of Adonai. When was it ever known that the Ammonites proved wanting to their own interests? Methinks it is no great stretch of generosity to allow us lambs for the altar of the Lord, receiving in lieu thereof thirty silver shekels per head!”

"That they're fickle and untrustworthy is as true as the Pentateuch," said Buzi-Ben-Levi, "but that's only towards the people of Adonai. When have the Ammonites ever failed to look out for their own interests? I don't think it's much of a favor to let us sacrifice lambs for the altar of the Lord, getting thirty silver shekels per head in return!"

“Thou forgettest, however, Ben-Levi,” replied Abel-Phittim, “that the Roman Pompey, who is now impiously besieging the city of the Most High, has no assurity that we apply not the lambs thus purchased for the altar, to the sustenance of the body, rather than of the spirit.”

“However, you forget, Ben-Levi,” Abel-Phittim said, “that the Roman Pompey, who is currently unjustly besieging the city of the Most High, has no guarantee that we don’t use the lambs we’ve bought for the altar to feed the body instead of the spirit.”

“Now, by the five corners of my beard!” shouted the Pharisee, who belonged to the sect called The Dashers (that little knot of saints whose manner of dashing and lacerating the feet against the pavement was long a thorn and a reproach to less zealous devotees—a stumbling-block to less gifted perambulators)—“by the five corners of that beard which, as a priest, I am forbidden to shave!—have we lived to see the day when a blaspheming and idolatrous upstart of Rome shall accuse us of appropriating to the appetites of the flesh the most holy and consecrated elements? Have we lived to see the day when—”

“Now, by the five corners of my beard!” shouted the Pharisee, who was part of the group called The Dashers (that small circle of saints whose way of dashing and scraping their feet against the pavement was a long-standing annoyance and criticism to less passionate followers—a stumbling block for less skilled walkers)—“by the five corners of that beard I’m forbidden to shave as a priest!—have we really reached a point where a blasphemous and idolatrous upstart from Rome can accuse us of indulging the desires of the flesh with the most sacred and holy elements? Have we actually reached a point where—”

“Let us not question the motives of the Philistine,” interrupted Abel-Phittim, “for to-day we profit for the first time by his avarice or by his generosity; but rather let us hurry to the ramparts, lest offerings should be wanting for that altar whose fire the rains of heaven can not extinguish, and whose pillars of smoke no tempest can turn aside.”

“Let’s not doubt the Philistine’s motives,” interrupted Abel-Phittim, “because today we’re benefiting for the first time from either his greed or his generosity; instead, let’s rush to the ramparts, so there won’t be any lack of offerings for that altar whose fire the rains from above can’t put out, and whose pillars of smoke no storm can push away.”

That part of the city to which our worthy Gizbarim now hastened, and which bore the name of its architect, King David, was esteemed the most strongly fortified district of Jerusalem; being situated upon the steep and lofty hill of Zion. Here, a broad, deep, circumvallatory trench, hewn from the solid rock, was defended by a wall of great strength erected upon its inner edge. This wall was adorned, at regular interspaces, by square towers of white marble; the lowest sixty, and the highest one hundred and twenty cubits in height. But, in the vicinity of the gate of Benjamin, the wall arose by no means from the margin of the fosse. On the contrary, between the level of the ditch and the basement of the rampart sprang up a perpendicular cliff of two hundred and fifty cubits, forming part of the precipitous Mount Moriah. So that when Simeon and his associates arrived on the summit of the tower called Adoni-Bezek—the loftiest of all the turrets around about Jerusalem, and the usual place of conference with the besieging army—they looked down upon the camp of the enemy from an eminence excelling by many feet that of the Pyramid of Cheops, and, by several, that of the temple of Belus.

That part of the city where our worthy Gizbarim are now rushing to, named after its builder, King David, was considered the most heavily fortified area of Jerusalem, located on the steep and high hill of Zion. Here, a wide, deep trench, carved out of solid rock, was protected by a strong wall built on its inner edge. This wall was decorated at regular intervals with square towers of white marble, with the shortest being sixty cubits and the tallest reaching one hundred and twenty cubits high. However, near the Benjamin gate, the wall didn’t rise from the edge of the trench. Instead, between the level of the ditch and the base of the rampart, there was a vertical cliff of two hundred and fifty cubits, which was part of the steep Mount Moriah. So when Simeon and his companions reached the top of the tower called Adoni-Bezek—the tallest of all the towers around Jerusalem, and the usual meeting point with the besieging army—they looked down upon the enemy camp from a height that was several feet higher than the Great Pyramid of Cheops, and even more than the temple of Belus.

“Verily,” sighed the Pharisee, as he peered dizzily over the precipice, “the uncircumcised are as the sands by the seashore—as the locusts in the wilderness! The valley of the King hath become the valley of Adommin.”

“Seriously,” sighed the Pharisee, as he looked unsteadily over the edge, “the uncircumcised are like the sands by the seashore—like the locusts in the wilderness! The valley of the King has turned into the valley of Adommin.”

“And yet,” added Ben-Levi, “thou canst not point me out a Philistine—no, not one—from Aleph to Tau—from the wilderness to the battlements—who seemeth any bigger than the letter Jod!”

“And yet,” added Ben-Levi, “you can't point out a Philistine—no, not one—from A to Z—from the wilderness to the walls—who looks any bigger than the letter J!”

“Lower away the basket with the shekels of silver!” here shouted a Roman soldier in a hoarse, rough voice, which appeared to issue from the regions of Pluto—“lower away the basket with the accursed coin which it has broken the jaw of a noble Roman to pronounce! Is it thus you evince your gratitude to our master Pompeius, who, in his condescension, has thought fit to listen to your idolatrous importunities? The god Phœbus, who is a true god, has been charioted for an hour—and were you not to be on the ramparts by sunrise? Ædepol! do you think that we, the conquerors of the world, have nothing better to do than stand waiting by the walls of every kennel, to traffic with the dogs of the earth? Lower away! I say—and see that your trumpery be bright in color and just in weight!”

“Lower the basket with the silver coins!” shouted a Roman soldier in a harsh, grating voice, as if it came from the depths of the underworld—“lower the basket with the cursed money that has broken the jaw of a noble Roman to pronounce! Is this how you show your gratitude to our master Pompeius, who, in his kindness, has chosen to listen to your insistent pleas? The god Phoebus, who is a true god, has been charioted for an hour—and weren't you supposed to be on the ramparts by sunrise? Seriously! Do you think that we, the conquerors of the world, have nothing better to do than wait by the walls of every filthy place to bargain with the scum of the earth? Lower it, I say—and make sure your worthless stuff is bright in color and correct in weight!”

“El Elohim!” ejaculated the Pharisee, as the discordant tones of the centurion rattled up the crags of the precipice, and fainted away against the temple—“El Elohim!—who is the god Phœbus?—whom doth the blasphemer invoke? Thou, Buzi-Ben-Levi! who art read in the laws of the Gentiles, and hast sojourned among them who dabble with the Teraphim!—is it Nergal of whom the idolater speaketh?—or Ashimah?—or Nibhaz,—or Tartak?—or Adramalech?—or Anamalech?—or Succoth-Benith?—or Dagon?—or Belial?—or Baal-Perith?—or Baal-Peor?—or Baal-Zebub?”

“El Elohim!” exclaimed the Pharisee, as the harsh sounds of the centurion echoed up the cliffs and faded against the temple—“El Elohim!—who is the god Phœbus?—who does the blasphemer call upon? You, Buzi-Ben-Levi! who are familiar with the laws of the Gentiles and have lived among those who mess with the Teraphim!—is it Nergal that the idolater speaks of?—or Ashimah?—or Nibhaz,—or Tartak?—or Adramalech?—or Anamalech?—or Succoth-Benith?—or Dagon?—or Belial?—or Baal-Perith?—or Baal-Peor?—or Baal-Zebub?”

“Verily it is neither—but beware how thou lettest the rope slip too rapidly through thy fingers; for should the wicker-work chance to hang on the projection of yonder crag, there will be a woful outpouring of the holy things of the sanctuary.”

“Truly it is neither—but be careful not to let the rope slide too quickly through your fingers; because if the woven basket happens to get caught on that crag over there, it will lead to a disastrous spilling of the sacred items from the sanctuary.”

By the assistance of some rudely constructed machinery, the heavily laden basket was now carefully lowered down among the multitude; and, from the giddy pinnacle, the Romans were seen gathering confusedly round it; but owing to the vast height and the prevalence of a fog, no distinct view of their operations could be obtained.

With the help of some poorly made machinery, the heavily loaded basket was now carefully lowered down among the crowd; and from the dizzying height, the Romans could be seen crowding around it in a confused manner; however, due to the great height and the thick fog, it was impossible to get a clear view of what they were doing.

Half an hour had already elapsed.

Half an hour had already passed.

“We shall be too late!” sighed the Pharisee, as at the expiration of this period he looked over into the abyss—“we shall be too late! we shall be turned out of office by the Katholim.”

“We're going to be too late!” sighed the Pharisee, as at the end of this time he looked over into the abyss—“we're going to be too late! We're going to be kicked out of office by the Katholim.”

“No more,” responded Abel-Phittim—“no more shall we feast upon the fat of the land—no longer shall our beards be odorous with frankincense—our loins girded up with fine linen from the Temple.”

“No more,” replied Abel-Phittim, “we won’t feast on the bounty of the land any longer—our beards will no longer smell of frankincense—our waists won’t be wrapped in fine linen from the Temple.”

“Raca!” swore Ben-Levi, “Raca! do they mean to defraud us of the purchase money? or, Holy Moses! are they weighing the shekels of the tabernacle?”

“Raca!” swore Ben-Levi, “Raca! do they plan to cheat us out of the purchase money? or, Holy Moses! are they weighing the shekels of the tabernacle?”

“They have given the signal at last!” cried the Pharisee—“they have given the signal at last! pull away, Abel-Phittim!—and thou, Buzi-Ben-Levi, pull away!—for verily the Philistines have either still hold upon the basket, or the Lord hath softened their hearts to place therein a beast of good weight!” And the Gizbarim pulled away, while their burden swung heavily upward through the still increasing mist.

“They've finally given the signal!” the Pharisee exclaimed. “They've finally given the signal! Pull away, Abel-Phittim! And you, Buzi-Ben-Levi, pull away! For truly, the Philistines either still have a grip on the basket, or the Lord has softened their hearts to put a heavy beast inside!” And the Gizbarim pulled away, while their load swung heavily upward through the increasingly thick mist.


“Booshoh he!”—as, at the conclusion of an hour, some object at the extremity of the rope became indistinctly visible—“Booshoh he!” was the exclamation which burst from the lips of Ben-Levi.

“Booshoh he!”—as, at the end of an hour, something at the end of the rope became faintly visible—“Booshoh he!” was the shout that escaped from Ben-Levi's lips.

“Booshoh he!—for shame!—it is a ram from the thickets of Engedi, and as rugged as the valley of Jehosaphat!”

“Booshoh he!—shame on you!—it’s a ram from the thickets of Engedi, and just as rough as the valley of Jehosaphat!”

“It is a firstling of the flock,” said Abel-Phittim, “I know him by the bleating of his lips, and the innocent folding of his limbs. His eyes are more beautiful than the jewels of the Pectoral, and his flesh is like the honey of Hebron.”

“It’s the firstborn of the flock,” Abel-Phittim said, “I can tell by the way it bleats and how its limbs fold so innocently. Its eyes are more beautiful than the jewels of the Pectoral, and its flesh is like the honey from Hebron.”

“It is a fatted calf from the pastures of Bashan,” said the Pharisee, “the heathen have dealt wonderfully with us——let us raise up our voices in a psalm—let us give thanks on the shawm and on the psaltery—on the harp and on the huggab—on the cythern and on the sackbut!”

“It is a fattened calf from the pastures of Bashan,” said the Pharisee, “the non-believers have treated us amazingly—let's lift our voices in a song—let's give thanks on the shawm and the psaltery—on the harp and the huggab—on the lyre and the sackbut!”

It was not until the basket had arrived within a few feet of the Gizbarim that a low grunt betrayed to their perception a hog of no common size.

It wasn't until the basket was just a few feet away from the Gizbarim that a low grunt revealed to them a hog of an unusual size.

“Now El Emanu!” slowly and with upturned eyes ejaculated the trio, as, letting go their hold, the emancipated porker tumbled headlong among the Philistines, “El Emanu!—God be with us—it is the unutterable flesh!”

“Now El Emanu!” the trio exclaimed slowly, their eyes lifted, as they released their grip and the freed pig fell among the Philistines, “El Emanu!—God be with us—it is the unutterable flesh!

THE SPHINX

During the dread reign of the cholera in New York, I had accepted the invitation of a relative to spend a fortnight with him in the retirement of his cottage ornée on the banks of the Hudson. We had here around us all the ordinary means of summer amusement; and what with rambling in the woods, sketching, boating, fishing, bathing, music, and books, we should have passed the time pleasantly enough, but for the fearful intelligence which reached us every morning from the populous city. Not a day elapsed which did not bring us news of the decease of some acquaintance. Then as the fatality increased, we learned to expect daily the loss of some friend. At length we trembled at the approach of every messenger. The very air from the South seemed to us redolent with death. That palsying thought, indeed, took entire possession of my soul. I could neither speak, think, nor dream of any thing else. My host was of a less excitable temperament, and, although greatly depressed in spirits, exerted himself to sustain my own. His richly philosophical intellect was not at any time affected by unrealities. To the substances of terror he was sufficiently alive, but of its shadows he had no apprehension.

During the terrifying cholera outbreak in New York, I accepted a relative’s invitation to spend two weeks at his charming cottage by the Hudson River. We had all the usual summer activities at our disposal—exploring the woods, sketching, boating, fishing, swimming, enjoying music, and reading—which should have made for a pleasant time. However, we were constantly reminded of the grim news coming from the crowded city. Not a day went by without hearing about the death of someone we knew. As the death toll rose, we began to expect the loss of friends each day. Eventually, we dreaded the arrival of every messenger. The very air from the South felt like it carried the scent of death. That paralyzing thought consumed my mind. I couldn’t speak, think, or dream of anything else. My host, however, had a calmer temperament. Though he was deeply saddened, he worked hard to lift my spirits. His deeply philosophical mind remained unaffected by fantasies. He was aware of the real dangers around us but didn’t fear the imagined horrors.

His endeavors to arouse me from the condition of abnormal gloom into which I had fallen, were frustrated, in great measure, by certain volumes which I had found in his library. These were of a character to force into germination whatever seeds of hereditary superstition lay latent in my bosom. I had been reading these books without his knowledge, and thus he was often at a loss to account for the forcible impressions which had been made upon my fancy.

His efforts to lift me out of the deep gloom I had slipped into were largely hindered by certain books I discovered in his library. These books had a way of bringing to life the seeds of inherited superstition that were buried in me. I had been reading these books without his knowledge, so he often struggled to understand the intense impressions they had left on my mind.

A favorite topic with me was the popular belief in omens—a belief which, at this one epoch of my life, I was almost seriously disposed to defend. On this subject we had long and animated discussions—he maintaining the utter groundlessness of faith in such matters,—I contending that a popular sentiment arising with absolute spontaneity—that is to say, without apparent traces of suggestion—had in itself the unmistakable elements of truth, and was entitled to as much respect as that intuition which is the idiosyncrasy of the individual man of genius.

One of my favorite topics was the popular belief in omens—a belief that, at this point in my life, I was almost ready to defend seriously. We had long and lively discussions about it—he argued that there was no basis for faith in such things, while I insisted that a popular sentiment that arose spontaneously—that is, without any obvious hints or suggestions—contained undeniable elements of truth and deserved as much respect as the intuition that characterizes an individual genius.

The fact is, that soon after my arrival at the cottage there had occurred to myself an incident so entirely inexplicable, and which had in it so much of the portentous character, that I might well have been excused for regarding it as an omen. It appalled, and at the same time so confounded and bewildered me, that many days elapsed before I could make up my mind to communicate the circumstances to my friend.

The truth is, that shortly after I got to the cottage, something happened that was so completely unexplainable and had such a heavy sense of foreboding that I could have easily considered it an omen. It shocked and confused me so much that it took me many days to decide to share what happened with my friend.

Near the close of exceedingly warm day, I was sitting, book in hand, at an open window, commanding, through a long vista of the river banks, a view of a distant hill, the face of which nearest my position had been denuded by what is termed a land-slide, of the principal portion of its trees. My thoughts had been long wandering from the volume before me to the gloom and desolation of the neighboring city. Uplifting my eyes from the page, they fell upon the naked face of the bill, and upon an object—upon some living monster of hideous conformation, which very rapidly made its way from the summit to the bottom, disappearing finally in the dense forest below. As this creature first came in sight, I doubted my own sanity—or at least the evidence of my own eyes; and many minutes passed before I succeeded in convincing myself that I was neither mad nor in a dream. Yet when I described the monster (which I distinctly saw, and calmly surveyed through the whole period of its progress), my readers, I fear, will feel more difficulty in being convinced of these points than even I did myself.

Near the end of an incredibly hot day, I was sitting by an open window with a book in hand, looking out over a long stretch of riverbanks that offered a view of a distant hill. The part of the hill closest to me had been stripped of most of its trees by what’s called a landslide. My thoughts had drifted away from the book in front of me to the darkness and despair of the nearby city. When I lifted my eyes from the page, they landed on the bare face of the hill and on something else—some living creature with a terrifying shape that was quickly making its way from the top to the bottom, ultimately vanishing into the thick forest below. As this thing first came into view, I started to doubt my own sanity—or at least my perception; it took several minutes before I managed to convince myself that I was neither crazy nor dreaming. However, when I try to describe the creature (which I clearly saw and calmly observed throughout its journey), I fear my readers will have an even harder time believing it than I did.

Estimating the size of the creature by comparison with the diameter of the large trees near which it passed—the few giants of the forest which had escaped the fury of the land-slide—I concluded it to be far larger than any ship of the line in existence. I say ship of the line, because the shape of the monster suggested the idea—the hull of one of our seventy-four might convey a very tolerable conception of the general outline. The mouth of the animal was situated at the extremity of a proboscis some sixty or seventy feet in length, and about as thick as the body of an ordinary elephant. Near the root of this trunk was an immense quantity of black shaggy hair—more than could have been supplied by the coats of a score of buffaloes; and projecting from this hair downwardly and laterally, sprang two gleaming tusks not unlike those of the wild boar, but of infinitely greater dimensions. Extending forward, parallel with the proboscis, and on each side of it, was a gigantic staff, thirty or forty feet in length, formed seemingly of pure crystal and in shape a perfect prism,—it reflected in the most gorgeous manner the rays of the declining sun. The trunk was fashioned like a wedge with the apex to the earth. From it there were outspread two pairs of wings—each wing nearly one hundred yards in length—one pair being placed above the other, and all thickly covered with metal scales; each scale apparently some ten or twelve feet in diameter. I observed that the upper and lower tiers of wings were connected by a strong chain. But the chief peculiarity of this horrible thing was the representation of a Death’s Head, which covered nearly the whole surface of its breast, and which was as accurately traced in glaring white, upon the dark ground of the body, as if it had been there carefully designed by an artist. While I regarded the terrific animal, and more especially the appearance on its breast, with a feeling or horror and awe—with a sentiment of forthcoming evil, which I found it impossible to quell by any effort of the reason, I perceived the huge jaws at the extremity of the proboscis suddenly expand themselves, and from them there proceeded a sound so loud and so expressive of woe, that it struck upon my nerves like a knell and as the monster disappeared at the foot of the hill, I fell at once, fainting, to the floor.

Estimating the size of the creature by comparing it to the diameter of the large trees nearby—the few giants of the forest that had survived the landslide—I concluded it was much larger than any warship in existence. I mention warship because the shape of the monster reminded me of one—the hull of one of our seventy-fours could give a decent idea of its overall outline. The mouth of the creature was located at the end of a proboscis around sixty or seventy feet long and about as thick as an ordinary elephant's body. Near the base of this trunk was an enormous amount of black, shaggy hair—more than you'd get from a herd of buffalo. From this hair, two gleaming tusks protruded downward and sideways, resembling those of a wild boar but much larger. Extending forward, parallel to the proboscis on each side, was a gigantic staff, thirty or forty feet long, seemingly made of pure crystal and perfectly prism-shaped, reflecting the rays of the setting sun in a stunning way. The trunk was shaped like a wedge with the tip pointing to the ground. From it were spread two pairs of wings—each nearly one hundred yards long—one pair above the other, all thickly covered with metal scales; each scale appeared to be about ten or twelve feet in diameter. I noticed that the upper and lower wing tiers were connected by a strong chain. The most striking feature of this terrifying creature was the depiction of a Death’s Head, which covered nearly its entire chest, skillfully traced in bright white against the dark background of its body, as if an artist had designed it. As I looked at the terrifying creature, especially at the image on its chest, a sense of horror and awe washed over me—an overwhelming feeling of impending doom that I couldn't shake despite my rational efforts. Suddenly, I saw the massive jaws at the end of the proboscis open wide, and a sound so loud and filled with sorrow erupted from them, it struck my nerves like a death knell. As the monster disappeared at the foot of the hill, I collapsed, fainting, to the ground.

Upon recovering, my first impulse, of course, was to inform my friend of what I had seen and heard—and I can scarcely explain what feeling of repugnance it was which, in the end, operated to prevent me.

Upon recovering, my first instinct, of course, was to tell my friend about what I had seen and heard—but I can hardly explain the feeling of aversion that ultimately stopped me.

At length, one evening, some three or four days after the occurrence, we were sitting together in the room in which I had seen the apparition—I occupying the same seat at the same window, and he lounging on a sofa near at hand. The association of the place and time impelled me to give him an account of the phenomenon. He heard me to the end—at first laughed heartily—and then lapsed into an excessively grave demeanor, as if my insanity was a thing beyond suspicion. At this instant I again had a distinct view of the monster—to which, with a shout of absolute terror, I now directed his attention. He looked eagerly—but maintained that he saw nothing—although I designated minutely the course of the creature, as it made its way down the naked face of the hill.

Finally, one evening, about three or four days after what happened, we were sitting together in the room where I had seen the ghost—I was in the same seat by the same window, and he was lounging on a nearby sofa. The association of the place and time pushed me to tell him about the strange sighting. He listened until I finished—at first, he laughed heartily—but then he became very serious, as if my sanity was beyond doubt. At that moment, I caught another clear glimpse of the creature, and with a scream of pure terror, I pointed it out to him. He looked eagerly but insisted that he saw nothing, even though I carefully described where the creature was moving as it went down the bare slope of the hill.

I was now immeasurably alarmed, for I considered the vision either as an omen of my death, or, worse, as the fore-runner of an attack of mania. I threw myself passionately back in my chair, and for some moments buried my face in my hands. When I uncovered my eyes, the apparition was no longer apparent.

I was now incredibly frightened because I thought the vision was either a sign of my death or, even worse, a warning of a coming mental breakdown. I leaned back in my chair, feeling overwhelmed, and for a while, I buried my face in my hands. When I finally looked up, the apparition was gone.

My host, however, had in some degree resumed the calmness of his demeanor, and questioned me very rigorously in respect to the conformation of the visionary creature. When I had fully satisfied him on this head, he sighed deeply, as if relieved of some intolerable burden, and went on to talk, with what I thought a cruel calmness, of various points of speculative philosophy, which had heretofore formed subject of discussion between us. I remember his insisting very especially (among other things) upon the idea that the principle source of error in all human investigations lay in the liability of the understanding to under-rate or to over-value the importance of an object, through mere misadmeasurement of its propinquity. “To estimate properly, for example,” he said, “the influence to be exercised on mankind at large by the thorough diffusion of Democracy, the distance of the epoch at which such diffusion may possibly be accomplished should not fail to form an item in the estimate. Yet can you tell me one writer on the subject of government who has ever thought this particular branch of the subject worthy of discussion at all?”

My host, however, had somewhat regained his composure and questioned me very closely about the appearance of the imaginary creature. Once I had fully satisfied him on that point, he sighed deeply, as if relieved of some unbearable burden, and continued to talk, with what I thought was a cruel calmness, about various topics in speculative philosophy that we had previously discussed. I remember him particularly insisting (among other things) on the idea that the main source of error in all human inquiries lies in the tendency of our understanding to underestimate or overestimate the significance of something due to simply misjudging its closeness. “To accurately assess, for example,” he said, “the impact that the widespread spread of Democracy might have on humanity, the time frame in which that diffusion might happen should definitely be part of the consideration. Yet can you name one writer on the topic of government who has ever deemed this particular aspect of the subject worthy of discussion at all?”

He here paused for a moment, stepped to a book-case, and brought forth one of the ordinary synopses of Natural History. Requesting me then to exchange seats with him, that he might the better distinguish the fine print of the volume, he took my armchair at the window, and, opening the book, resumed his discourse very much in the same tone as before.

He paused for a moment, walked over to a bookcase, and pulled out one of the standard summaries of Natural History. He then asked me to switch seats with him so he could see the small print better. He took my armchair by the window, opened the book, and continued his talk in pretty much the same tone as before.

“But for your exceeding minuteness,” he said, “in describing the monster, I might never have had it in my power to demonstrate to you what it was. In the first place, let me read to you a schoolboy account of the genus Sphinx, of the family Crepuscularia of the order Lepidoptera, of the class of Insecta—or insects. The account runs thus:

“But for your incredible attention to detail,” he said, “I might never have been able to show you what the monster was. First, let me read you a schoolboy description of the genus Sphinx, from the family Crepuscularia, in the order Lepidoptera, within the class Insecta—or insects. The description goes like this:

“‘Four membranous wings covered with little colored scales of metallic appearance; mouth forming a rolled proboscis, produced by an elongation of the jaws, upon the sides of which are found the rudiments of mandibles and downy palpi; the inferior wings retained to the superior by a stiff hair; antennæ in the form of an elongated club, prismatic; abdomen pointed. The Death’s-headed Sphinx has occasioned much terror among the vulgar, at times, by the melancholy kind of cry which it utters, and the insignia of death which it wears upon its corslet.’”

“Four membranous wings covered with small, colorful scales that look metallic; a mouth that forms a rolled proboscis, created by an extension of the jaws, with the beginnings of mandibles and fuzzy palpi on the sides; the lower wings attached to the upper ones by a stiff hair; antennae shaped like a long club, prismatic; abdomen tapered. The Death’s-head Sphinx has caused a lot of fear among the general public at times because of the sad kind of cry it makes and the symbols of death it displays on its chest.”

He here closed the book and leaned forward in the chair, placing himself accurately in the position which I had occupied at the moment of beholding “the monster.”

He closed the book and leaned forward in the chair, positioning himself exactly where I had been when I saw “the monster.”

“Ah, here it is,” he presently exclaimed—“it is reascending the face of the hill, and a very remarkable looking creature I admit it to be. Still, it is by no means so large or so distant as you imagined it,—for the fact is that, as it wriggles its way up this thread, which some spider has wrought along the window-sash, I find it to be about the sixteenth of an inch in its extreme length, and also about the sixteenth of an inch distant from the pupil of my eye.”

“Ah, here it is,” he suddenly exclaimed—“it’s climbing back up the side of the hill, and I must say, it’s quite an interesting-looking creature. Still, it’s not nearly as big or as far away as you thought it would be—for the truth is, as it wriggles its way up this thread that some spider has spun along the window frame, I see that it’s about one sixteenth of an inch long, and also about one sixteenth of an inch away from my eye.”

HOP-FROG

I never knew anyone so keenly alive to a joke as the king was. He seemed to live only for joking. To tell a good story of the joke kind, and to tell it well, was the surest road to his favor. Thus it happened that his seven ministers were all noted for their accomplishments as jokers. They all took after the king, too, in being large, corpulent, oily men, as well as inimitable jokers. Whether people grow fat by joking, or whether there is something in fat itself which predisposes to a joke, I have never been quite able to determine; but certain it is that a lean joker is a rara avis in terris.

I never met anyone as enthusiastic about jokes as the king. He seemed to live for humor. Telling a great story full of jokes, and doing it well, was the best way to get on his good side. So, it was no surprise that his seven ministers were all known for their skills in comedy. They also took after the king in being large, chubby, and slick, just like him in their ability to make people laugh. Whether people get fat from joking or if being overweight makes someone more inclined to joke, I can't really say; but it's clear that a thin comedian is a rare find in the world.

About the refinements, or, as he called them, the “ghost” of wit, the king troubled himself very little. He had an especial admiration for breadth in a jest, and would often put up with length, for the sake of it. Over-niceties wearied him. He would have preferred Rabelais’ “Gargantua” to the “Zadig” of Voltaire: and, upon the whole, practical jokes suited his taste far better than verbal ones.

About the refinements, or, as he called them, the “ghost” of wit, the king didn’t worry much. He had a particular admiration for humor that was broad and would often tolerate longer jokes just for that reason. He found overly subtle jokes tiring. He preferred Rabelais’ “Gargantua” to Voltaire’s “Zadig”; overall, practical jokes suited his taste much better than verbal ones.

At the date of my narrative, professing jesters had not altogether gone out of fashion at court. Several of the great continental “powers” still retain their “fools,” who wore motley, with caps and bells, and who were expected to be always ready with sharp witticisms, at a moment’s notice, in consideration of the crumbs that fell from the royal table.

At the time I’m telling this story, professional jesters hadn’t completely disappeared from the court. Several of the major continental countries still kept their "fools," who dressed in colorful outfits with caps and bells, and were expected to be quick with witty remarks whenever needed, in exchange for the scraps that fell from the royal table.

Our king, as a matter of course, retained his “fool.” The fact is, he required something in the way of folly—if only to counterbalance the heavy wisdom of the seven wise men who were his ministers—not to mention himself.

Our king, naturally, kept his “fool.” The truth is, he needed a bit of foolishness—if only to balance out the serious wisdom of the seven wise men who served as his ministers—not to mention himself.

His fool, or professional jester, was not only a fool, however. His value was trebled in the eyes of the king, by the fact of his being also a dwarf and a cripple. Dwarfs were as common at court, in those days, as fools; and many monarchs would have found it difficult to get through their days (days are rather longer at court than elsewhere) without both a jester to laugh with, and a dwarf to laugh at. But, as I have already observed, your jesters, in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred, are fat, round, and unwieldy—so that it was no small source of self-gratulation with our king that, in Hop-Frog (this was the fool’s name), he possessed a triplicate treasure in one person.

His fool, or professional jester, was more than just a fool. The king valued him even more because he was also a dwarf and a cripple. Dwarfs were as common in the court back then as fools; many kings would have struggled to get through their days (which are longer at court than anywhere else) without a jester to laugh with and a dwarf to laugh at. But as I've already mentioned, most jesters were fat, round, and clumsy—so it was a big source of pride for our king that, in Hop-Frog (that was the fool’s name), he had a unique treasure all in one person.

I believe the name “Hop-Frog” was not that given to the dwarf by his sponsors at baptism, but it was conferred upon him, by general consent of the seven ministers, on account of his inability to walk as other men do. In fact, Hop-Frog could only get along by a sort of interjectional gait—something between a leap and a wriggle—a movement that afforded illimitable amusement, and of course consolation, to the king, for (notwithstanding the protuberance of his stomach and a constitutional swelling of the head) the king, by his whole court, was accounted a capital figure.

I think the name "Hop-Frog" wasn't the one the dwarf was given by his sponsors at baptism; rather, it was given to him by general agreement among the seven ministers because he couldn't walk like other men. In fact, Hop-Frog could only move in a sort of stuttering gait—somewhere between a leap and a wiggle—a movement that provided endless amusement and, of course, comfort to the king, since (despite the bulge of his stomach and a natural swelling of his head) the king was regarded as quite a character by his whole court.

But although Hop-Frog, through the distortion of his legs, could move only with great pain and difficulty along a road or floor, the prodigious muscular power which nature seemed to have bestowed upon his arms, by way of compensation for deficiency in the lower limbs, enabled him to perform many feats of wonderful dexterity, where trees or ropes were in question, or any thing else to climb. At such exercises he certainly much more resembled a squirrel, or a small monkey, than a frog.

But even though Hop-Frog could only move with a lot of pain and difficulty due to the way his legs were twisted, the incredible strength that nature had given him in his arms, to make up for his weak lower limbs, allowed him to do many impressive tricks when it came to climbing trees, ropes, or anything else. In those moments, he looked much more like a squirrel or a small monkey than a frog.

I am not able to say, with precision, from what country Hop-Frog originally came. It was from some barbarous region, however, that no person ever heard of—a vast distance from the court of our king. Hop-Frog, and a young girl very little less dwarfish than himself (although of exquisite proportions, and a marvellous dancer), had been forcibly carried off from their respective homes in adjoining provinces, and sent as presents to the king, by one of his ever-victorious generals.

I can't say for sure where Hop-Frog originally came from. It was definitely some savage place that no one has ever heard of—far away from our king's court. Hop-Frog, along with a young girl who was nearly as small as he was (but with a lovely figure and an amazing dancer), had been taken from their homes in nearby areas and sent as gifts to the king by one of his always-winning generals.

Under these circumstances, it is not to be wondered at that a close intimacy arose between the two little captives. Indeed, they soon became sworn friends. Hop-Frog, who, although he made a great deal of sport, was by no means popular, had it not in his power to render Trippetta many services; but she, on account of her grace and exquisite beauty (although a dwarf), was universally admired and petted; so she possessed much influence; and never failed to use it, whenever she could, for the benefit of Hop-Frog.

Given the situation, it's no surprise that a strong bond formed between the two little captives. They quickly became best friends. Hop-Frog, who, despite being a source of entertainment, was not very popular, couldn't offer Trippetta many advantages; however, she was widely admired and spoiled for her grace and exquisite beauty (even though she was a dwarf), so she held a lot of influence and always made sure to use it to help Hop-Frog whenever she could.

On some grand state occasion—I forgot what—the king determined to have a masquerade, and whenever a masquerade or any thing of that kind, occurred at our court, then the talents, both of Hop-Frog and Trippetta were sure to be called into play. Hop-Frog, in especial, was so inventive in the way of getting up pageants, suggesting novel characters, and arranging costumes, for masked balls, that nothing could be done, it seems, without his assistance.

On some big state event—I can't remember which—the king decided to host a masquerade, and whenever there was a masquerade or anything like it at our court, the talents of both Hop-Frog and Trippetta were always in demand. Hop-Frog, in particular, was incredibly creative when it came to putting together performances, coming up with fresh character ideas, and organizing costumes for the masked balls, so it seemed that nothing could happen without his help.

The night appointed for the fete had arrived. A gorgeous hall had been fitted up, under Trippetta’s eye, with every kind of device which could possibly give eclat to a masquerade. The whole court was in a fever of expectation. As for costumes and characters, it might well be supposed that everybody had come to a decision on such points. Many had made up their minds (as to what roles they should assume) a week, or even a month, in advance; and, in fact, there was not a particle of indecision anywhere—except in the case of the king and his seven minsters. Why they hesitated I never could tell, unless they did it by way of a joke. More probably, they found it difficult, on account of being so fat, to make up their minds. At all events, time flew; and, as a last resort they sent for Trippetta and Hop-Frog.

The night of the party had arrived. A beautiful hall had been set up, under Trippetta’s supervision, with every kind of decoration that could possibly make the masquerade spectacular. The entire court was buzzing with excitement. As for costumes and roles, it was reasonable to assume that everyone had made their choices. Many had decided on their outfits (as to what roles they would play) a week, or even a month, earlier; and, in fact, there was no uncertainty anywhere—except for the king and his seven ministers. I could never figure out why they hesitated, unless they were just joking around. More likely, they were having trouble deciding because they were too heavy. In any case, time passed quickly; and, as a last resort, they called for Trippetta and Hop-Frog.

When the two little friends obeyed the summons of the king they found him sitting at his wine with the seven members of his cabinet council; but the monarch appeared to be in a very ill humor. He knew that Hop-Frog was not fond of wine, for it excited the poor cripple almost to madness; and madness is no comfortable feeling. But the king loved his practical jokes, and took pleasure in forcing Hop-Frog to drink and (as the king called it) “to be merry.”

When the two little friends responded to the king's call, they found him drinking wine with his seven cabinet members. However, the king seemed to be in a bad mood. He knew that Hop-Frog didn't like wine because it drove the poor cripple almost to madness, and madness is not a pleasant feeling. But the king enjoyed his practical jokes and took pleasure in making Hop-Frog drink and (as the king put it) “to be merry.”

“Come here, Hop-Frog,” said he, as the jester and his friend entered the room; “swallow this bumper to the health of your absent friends, [here Hop-Frog sighed,] and then let us have the benefit of your invention. We want characters—characters, man—something novel—out of the way. We are wearied with this everlasting sameness. Come, drink! the wine will brighten your wits.”

“Come here, Hop-Frog,” he said as the jester and his friend walked into the room. “Drink this toast to the health of your absent friends.” [Here, Hop-Frog sighed.] “Then let’s see what you can come up with. We’re looking for characters—characters, man—something new and different. We’re tired of the same old thing. Come on, drink! The wine will sharpen your mind.”

Hop-Frog endeavored, as usual, to get up a jest in reply to these advances from the king; but the effort was too much. It happened to be the poor dwarf’s birthday, and the command to drink to his “absent friends” forced the tears to his eyes. Many large, bitter drops fell into the goblet as he took it, humbly, from the hand of the tyrant.

Hop-Frog tried, as always, to come up with a joke in response to the king's advances, but it was too much for him. It just so happened to be the poor dwarf’s birthday, and the order to drink to his “absent friends” brought tears to his eyes. A few large, bitter drops fell into the goblet as he took it, humbly, from the tyrant’s hand.

“Ah! ha! ha! ha!” roared the latter, as the dwarf reluctantly drained the beaker. “See what a glass of good wine can do! Why, your eyes are shining already!”

“Ah! ha! ha! ha!” laughed the latter, as the dwarf hesitantly finished the drink. “Look at what a glass of good wine can do! Your eyes are already sparkling!”

Poor fellow! his large eyes gleamed, rather than shone; for the effect of wine on his excitable brain was not more powerful than instantaneous. He placed the goblet nervously on the table, and looked round upon the company with a half-insane stare. They all seemed highly amused at the success of the king’s ‘joke.’

Poor guy! His big eyes sparkled more than shone; because the effect of the wine on his sensitive mind was only temporary. He set the goblet down nervously on the table and looked around at the group with a wild gaze. They all seemed really entertained by the king's 'joke.'

“And now to business,” said the prime minister, a very fat man.

“And now to business,” said the prime minister, a very heavyset man.

“Yes,” said the King; “Come, Hop-Frog, lend us your assistance. Characters, my fine fellow; we stand in need of characters—all of us—ha! ha! ha!” and as this was seriously meant for a joke, his laugh was chorused by the seven.

“Yes,” said the King; “Come on, Hop-Frog, help us out. We need characters, my good man; we all do—ha! ha! ha!” And since this was meant as a joke, his laughter was echoed by the seven.

Hop-Frog also laughed, although feebly and somewhat vacantly.

Hop-Frog also laughed, but it was weak and somewhat blank.

“Come, come,” said the king, impatiently, “have you nothing to suggest?”

“Come on,” said the king, impatiently, “don’t you have anything to suggest?”

“I am endeavoring to think of something novel,” replied the dwarf, abstractedly, for he was quite bewildered by the wine.

“I’m trying to think of something new,” replied the dwarf, absentmindedly, as he was quite confused by the wine.

“Endeavoring!” cried the tyrant, fiercely; “what do you mean by that? Ah, I perceive. You are sulky, and want more wine. Here, drink this!” and he poured out another goblet full and offered it to the cripple, who merely gazed at it, gasping for breath.

“Trying hard!” shouted the tyrant, angrily; “what do you mean by that? Ah, I see. You're in a bad mood and want more wine. Here, drink this!” and he filled another goblet to the brim and held it out to the cripple, who just stared at it, struggling to breathe.

“Drink, I say!” shouted the monster, “or by the fiends—”

“Drink, I say!” shouted the monster, “or by the demons—”

The dwarf hesitated. The king grew purple with rage. The courtiers smirked. Trippetta, pale as a corpse, advanced to the monarch’s seat, and, falling on her knees before him, implored him to spare her friend.

The dwarf hesitated. The king turned purple with rage. The courtiers smirked. Trippetta, as pale as a ghost, moved closer to the king’s seat and, kneeling before him, begged him to spare her friend.

The tyrant regarded her, for some moments, in evident wonder at her audacity. He seemed quite at a loss what to do or say—how most becomingly to express his indignation. At last, without uttering a syllable, he pushed her violently from him, and threw the contents of the brimming goblet in her face.

The tyrant looked at her for a few moments, clearly astonished by her boldness. He seemed unsure of how to react or express his anger appropriately. Finally, without saying a word, he forcefully pushed her away and splashed the full goblet's contents in her face.

The poor girl got up the best she could, and, not daring even to sigh, resumed her position at the foot of the table.

The poor girl got up as best as she could, and, too afraid to even sigh, took her place again at the foot of the table.

There was a dead silence for about half a minute, during which the falling of a leaf, or of a feather, might have been heard. It was interrupted by a low, but harsh and protracted grating sound which seemed to come at once from every corner of the room.

There was complete silence for about thirty seconds, during which the sound of a falling leaf or feather could have been heard. It was broken by a low, harsh, and drawn-out grating sound that seemed to come from every corner of the room at once.

“What—what—what are you making that noise for?” demanded the king, turning furiously to the dwarf.

“What—what—what are you making that noise for?” the king snapped, turning angrily to the dwarf.

The latter seemed to have recovered, in great measure, from his intoxication, and looking fixedly but quietly into the tyrant’s face, merely ejaculated:

The latter appeared to have mostly sobered up and, staring intently yet calmly at the tyrant's face, simply said:

“I—I? How could it have been me?”

“I—I? How could it have been me?”

“The sound appeared to come from without,” observed one of the courtiers. “I fancy it was the parrot at the window, whetting his bill upon his cage-wires.”

“The sound seemed to come from outside,” one of the courtiers noted. “I think it was the parrot at the window, sharpening its beak on the cage wires.”

“True,” replied the monarch, as if much relieved by the suggestion; “but, on the honor of a knight, I could have sworn that it was the gritting of this vagabond’s teeth.”

“True,” replied the king, seeming relieved by the suggestion; “but, on my honor as a knight, I could have sworn it was the grinding of this vagabond’s teeth.”

Hereupon the dwarf laughed (the king was too confirmed a joker to object to any one’s laughing), and displayed a set of large, powerful, and very repulsive teeth. Moreover, he avowed his perfect willingness to swallow as much wine as desired. The monarch was pacified; and having drained another bumper with no very perceptible ill effect, Hop-Frog entered at once, and with spirit, into the plans for the masquerade.

The dwarf laughed (the king was too much of a joker to mind anyone laughing), showing a set of big, strong, and really ugly teeth. He also declared his complete willingness to drink as much wine as he wanted. The king was appeased; and after finishing another drink without any noticeable consequences, Hop-Frog jumped right in, enthusiastically discussing the plans for the masquerade.

“I cannot tell what was the association of idea,” observed he, very tranquilly, and as if he had never tasted wine in his life, “but just after your majesty, had struck the girl and thrown the wine in her face—just after your majesty had done this, and while the parrot was making that odd noise outside the window, there came into my mind a capital diversion—one of my own country frolics—often enacted among us, at our masquerades: but here it will be new altogether. Unfortunately, however, it requires a company of eight persons and—”

“I can’t explain why, but right after you hit the girl and splashed wine on her face—just after you did that, while the parrot was making that strange noise outside the window—I thought of a great game from my home country, one that's usually played at our masquerades: but here, it will be completely new. Unfortunately, it needs a group of eight people and—”

“Here we are!” cried the king, laughing at his acute discovery of the coincidence; “eight to a fraction—I and my seven ministers. Come! what is the diversion?”

“Here we are!” exclaimed the king, chuckling at his clever realization of the coincidence; “eight to be exact—I and my seven ministers. Come on! What’s the entertainment?”

“We call it,” replied the cripple, “the Eight Chained Ourang-Outangs, and it really is excellent sport if well enacted.”

“We call it,” replied the disabled man, “the Eight Chained Ourang-Outangs, and it really is excellent fun if done well.”

“We will enact it,” remarked the king, drawing himself up, and lowering his eyelids.

“We will make it happen,” said the king, standing tall and lowering his eyelids.

“The beauty of the game,” continued Hop-Frog, “lies in the fright it occasions among the women.”

"The beauty of the game," Hop-Frog continued, "comes from the fear it creates in the women."

“Capital!” roared in chorus the monarch and his ministry.

“Capital!” shouted the king and his advisors in unison.

“I will equip you as ourang-outangs,” proceeded the dwarf; “leave all that to me. The resemblance shall be so striking, that the company of masqueraders will take you for real beasts—and of course, they will be as much terrified as astonished.”

“I’ll get you ready to look like orangutans,” the dwarf continued; “just leave everything to me. The likeness will be so remarkable that the other partygoers will think you’re actual animals—and of course, they’ll be just as scared as they are amazed.”

“Oh, this is exquisite!” exclaimed the king. “Hop-Frog! I will make a man of you.”

“Oh, this is amazing!” exclaimed the king. “Hop-Frog! I’m going to make a man out of you.”

“The chains are for the purpose of increasing the confusion by their jangling. You are supposed to have escaped, en masse, from your keepers. Your majesty cannot conceive the effect produced, at a masquerade, by eight chained ourang-outangs, imagined to be real ones by most of the company; and rushing in with savage cries, among the crowd of delicately and gorgeously habited men and women. The contrast is inimitable.”

"The chains are meant to add to the chaos with their clanging. You’re supposed to have escaped all together from your captors. Your majesty can’t imagine the impact caused at a masquerade by eight chained orangutans, thought to be real by most of the guests, charging in with wild screams among the elegantly dressed men and women. The contrast is unforgettable."

“It must be,” said the king: and the council arose hurriedly (as it was growing late), to put in execution the scheme of Hop-Frog.

“It must be,” said the king, and the council quickly stood up (since it was getting late) to implement Hop-Frog’s plan.

His mode of equipping the party as ourang-outangs was very simple, but effective enough for his purposes. The animals in question had, at the epoch of my story, very rarely been seen in any part of the civilized world; and as the imitations made by the dwarf were sufficiently beast-like and more than sufficiently hideous, their truthfulness to nature was thus thought to be secured.

His way of getting the group ready as orangutans was straightforward, but it worked well for what he needed. At the time of my story, these animals were rarely spotted in any part of the civilized world; and since the dwarf's imitations were quite animal-like and more than adequately ugly, they were believed to be true to nature.

The king and his ministers were first encased in tight-fitting stockinet shirts and drawers. They were then saturated with tar. At this stage of the process, some one of the party suggested feathers; but the suggestion was at once overruled by the dwarf, who soon convinced the eight, by ocular demonstration, that the hair of such a brute as the ourang-outang was much more efficiently represented by flax. A thick coating of the latter was accordingly plastered upon the coating of tar. A long chain was now procured. First, it was passed about the waist of the king, and tied; then about another of the party, and also tied; then about all successively, in the same manner. When this chaining arrangement was complete, and the party stood as far apart from each other as possible, they formed a circle; and to make all things appear natural, Hop-Frog passed the residue of the chain in two diameters, at right angles, across the circle, after the fashion adopted, at the present day, by those who capture chimpanzees, or other large apes, in Borneo.

The king and his ministers were first put into tight-fitting shirts and shorts. Then, they were coated in tar. At this point, someone in the group suggested adding feathers, but the dwarf quickly shut that idea down, convincing the others, through a visual demonstration, that the hair of a creature like the orangutan was much better represented by flax. A thick layer of flax was then applied over the tar. A long chain was brought in. First, it was wrapped around the king's waist and tied; then it was wrapped around another member of the group and tied; this continued for each person in the same way. Once the chaining was done and the group stood as far apart from each other as possible, they formed a circle. To make everything look natural, Hop-Frog threaded the leftover chain in two diameters, crossing them at right angles across the circle, similar to how people today capture chimpanzees or other large apes in Borneo.

The grand saloon in which the masquerade was to take place, was a circular room, very lofty, and receiving the light of the sun only through a single window at top. At night (the season for which the apartment was especially designed) it was illuminated principally by a large chandelier, depending by a chain from the centre of the sky-light, and lowered, or elevated, by means of a counter-balance as usual; but (in order not to look unsightly) this latter passed outside the cupola and over the roof.

The grand salon where the masquerade was set to happen was a tall, circular room that only got sunlight from a single window at the top. At night (the time this space was specifically meant for), it was mainly lit by a large chandelier hanging from a chain in the middle of the skylight, which could be raised or lowered using a counterbalance, as usual; however, to keep it looking neat, this counterbalance went outside the dome and over the roof.

The arrangements of the room had been left to Trippetta’s superintendence; but, in some particulars, it seems, she had been guided by the calmer judgment of her friend the dwarf. At his suggestion it was that, on this occasion, the chandelier was removed. Its waxen drippings (which, in weather so warm, it was quite impossible to prevent) would have been seriously detrimental to the rich dresses of the guests, who, on account of the crowded state of the saloon, could not all be expected to keep from out its centre; that is to say, from under the chandelier. Additional sconces were set in various parts of the hall, out of the war, and a flambeau, emitting sweet odor, was placed in the right hand of each of the Caryaides [Caryatides] that stood against the wall—some fifty or sixty altogether.

The setup of the room was managed by Trippetta, but in some respects, it seems she was influenced by the calmer judgment of her friend, the dwarf. At his suggestion, the chandelier was taken down for this occasion. Its wax drippings, which were impossible to avoid in such warm weather, would have seriously damaged the guests' fancy dresses since, due to the crowdedness of the room, not everyone could stay away from the center—meaning under the chandelier. Extra sconces were added in various parts of the hall, out of the way, and a torch, giving off a sweet scent, was placed in the right hand of each of the Caryatids that stood against the wall—about fifty or sixty in total.

The eight ourang-outangs, taking Hop-Frog’s advice, waited patiently until midnight (when the room was thoroughly filled with masqueraders) before making their appearance. No sooner had the clock ceased striking, however, than they rushed, or rather rolled in, all together—for the impediments of their chains caused most of the party to fall, and all to stumble as they entered.

The eight orangutans, following Hop-Frog’s suggestion, waited patiently until midnight (when the room was completely filled with masqueraders) before making their entrance. As soon as the clock stopped striking, they charged in together—though their chains made most of the party fall and everyone stumble as they came in.

The excitement among the masqueraders was prodigious, and filled the heart of the king with glee. As had been anticipated, there were not a few of the guests who supposed the ferocious-looking creatures to be beasts of some kind in reality, if not precisely ourang-outangs. Many of the women swooned with affright; and had not the king taken the precaution to exclude all weapons from the saloon, his party might soon have expiated their frolic in their blood. As it was, a general rush was made for the doors; but the king had ordered them to be locked immediately upon his entrance; and, at the dwarf’s suggestion, the keys had been deposited with him.

The excitement among the masqueraders was immense, and it filled the king's heart with joy. As expected, there were quite a few guests who thought the fearsome-looking creatures were some kind of beasts, if not exactly orangutans. Many of the women fainted from terror; and if the king hadn't taken the step to ban all weapons from the room, his guests might have ended their fun in serious harm. As it was, everyone rushed for the doors, but the king had ordered them to be locked right after he walked in; and, at the dwarf’s suggestion, he had taken custody of the keys.

While the tumult was at its height, and each masquerader attentive only to his own safety (for, in fact, there was much real danger from the pressure of the excited crowd), the chain by which the chandelier ordinarily hung, and which had been drawn up on its removal, might have been seen very gradually to descend, until its hooked extremity came within three feet of the floor.

While the chaos was at its peak, and each person in costume was focused solely on their own safety (since there was actually a lot of real danger from the pressure of the frantic crowd), the chain that usually held the chandelier, and which had been pulled up when it was taken down, could be seen slowly descending until its hooked end was just three feet from the floor.

Soon after this, the king and his seven friends having reeled about the hall in all directions, found themselves, at length, in its centre, and, of course, in immediate contact with the chain. While they were thus situated, the dwarf, who had followed noiselessly at their heels, inciting them to keep up the commotion, took hold of their own chain at the intersection of the two portions which crossed the circle diametrically and at right angles. Here, with the rapidity of thought, he inserted the hook from which the chandelier had been wont to depend; and, in an instant, by some unseen agency, the chandelier-chain was drawn so far upward as to take the hook out of reach, and, as an inevitable consequence, to drag the ourang-outangs together in close connection, and face to face.

Soon after this, the king and his seven friends, having spun around the hall in all directions, found themselves, at last, in the center, and, naturally, right by the chain. While they were in this position, the dwarf, who had quietly followed them, encouraging them to keep making noise, grabbed their chain where the two parts crossed the circle at right angles. Here, in the blink of an eye, he placed the hook that used to hold the chandelier. In an instant, by some unseen force, the chandelier chain was pulled up high enough to put the hook out of reach, which, as a direct result, brought the orangutans together closely, face to face.

The masqueraders, by this time, had recovered, in some measure, from their alarm; and, beginning to regard the whole matter as a well-contrived pleasantry, set up a loud shout of laughter at the predicament of the apes.

The masqueraders had by now calmed down a bit from their shock and, starting to see the whole situation as a clever joke, erupted into loud laughter at the misfortune of the apes.

“Leave them to me!” now screamed Hop-Frog, his shrill voice making itself easily heard through all the din. “Leave them to me. I fancy I know them. If I can only get a good look at them, I can soon tell who they are.”

“Leave them to me!” Hop-Frog shouted, his high-pitched voice cutting through the noise. “Leave them to me. I think I recognize them. If I can just get a good look at them, I can quickly figure out who they are.”

Here, scrambling over the heads of the crowd, he managed to get to the wall; when, seizing a flambeau from one of the Caryatides, he returned, as he went, to the centre of the room—leaped, with the agility of a monkey, upon the kings head, and thence clambered a few feet up the chain; holding down the torch to examine the group of ourang-outangs, and still screaming: “I shall soon find out who they are!”

Here, pushing through the crowd, he made it to the wall; then, grabbing a torch from one of the Caryatides, he headed back to the center of the room—jumping with the agility of a monkey onto the king's head, then climbing a few feet up the chain; holding the torch down to check out the group of orangutans, and still screaming: “I’ll figure out who they are soon!”

And now, while the whole assembly (the apes included) were convulsed with laughter, the jester suddenly uttered a shrill whistle; when the chain flew violently up for about thirty feet—dragging with it the dismayed and struggling ourang-outangs, and leaving them suspended in mid-air between the sky-light and the floor. Hop-Frog, clinging to the chain as it rose, still maintained his relative position in respect to the eight maskers, and still (as if nothing were the matter) continued to thrust his torch down toward them, as though endeavoring to discover who they were.

And now, while everyone in the room (including the apes) was laughing uncontrollably, the jester suddenly let out a sharp whistle; then the chain shot up violently for about thirty feet—yanking along the panicked and struggling orangutans, leaving them hanging in mid-air between the skylight and the floor. Hop-Frog, holding onto the chain as it ascended, still kept his place in relation to the eight masked figures and continued, as if nothing was wrong, to lower his torch towards them, as though trying to figure out who they were.

So thoroughly astonished was the whole company at this ascent, that a dead silence, of about a minute’s duration, ensued. It was broken by just such a low, harsh, grating sound, as had before attracted the attention of the king and his councillors when the former threw the wine in the face of Trippetta. But, on the present occasion, there could be no question as to whence the sound issued. It came from the fang-like teeth of the dwarf, who ground them and gnashed them as he foamed at the mouth, and glared, with an expression of maniacal rage, into the upturned countenances of the king and his seven companions.

The entire group was so completely stunned by this rise that there was a dead silence lasting about a minute. It was finally broken by a low, harsh, grating noise, similar to the sound that had caught the attention of the king and his advisors when he had thrown wine in Trippetta's face. But this time, there was no doubt where the sound was coming from. It was coming from the dwarf's fang-like teeth, which he ground and gnashed as he foamed at the mouth, glaring with a look of maniacal rage at the upturned faces of the king and his seven companions.

“Ah, ha!” said at length the infuriated jester. “Ah, ha! I begin to see who these people are now!” Here, pretending to scrutinize the king more closely, he held the flambeau to the flaxen coat which enveloped him, and which instantly burst into a sheet of vivid flame. In less than half a minute the whole eight ourang-outangs were blazing fiercely, amid the shrieks of the multitude who gazed at them from below, horror-stricken, and without the power to render them the slightest assistance.

“Ah, ha!” said the furious jester at last. “Ah, ha! I’m starting to figure out who these people are!” Then, pretending to examine the king more closely, he held the torch up to the light-colored coat that covered him, which immediately ignited into a bright flame. In less than thirty seconds, all eight orangutans were burning fiercely, surrounded by the screams of the crowd below, shocked and unable to help them in the slightest.

At length the flames, suddenly increasing in virulence, forced the jester to climb higher up the chain, to be out of their reach; and, as he made this movement, the crowd again sank, for a brief instant, into silence. The dwarf seized his opportunity, and once more spoke:

At last, the flames, suddenly growing fiercer, forced the jester to climb higher on the chain to stay out of their reach; and as he did this, the crowd fell silent for a brief moment. The dwarf took his chance and spoke again:

“I now see distinctly.” he said, “what manner of people these maskers are. They are a great king and his seven privy-councillors,—a king who does not scruple to strike a defenceless girl and his seven councillors who abet him in the outrage. As for myself, I am simply Hop-Frog, the jester—and this is my last jest.”

“I can see clearly now,” he said, “what kind of people these maskers are. They are a powerful king and his seven advisors—a king who isn’t afraid to hit a defenseless girl, and his seven advisors who support him in this disgraceful act. As for me, I'm just Hop-Frog, the jester—and this is my final joke.”

Owing to the high combustibility of both the flax and the tar to which it adhered, the dwarf had scarcely made an end of his brief speech before the work of vengeance was complete. The eight corpses swung in their chains, a fetid, blackened, hideous, and indistinguishable mass. The cripple hurled his torch at them, clambered leisurely to the ceiling, and disappeared through the sky-light.

Because both the flax and the tar it clung to were highly flammable, the dwarf had barely finished his short speech before the act of revenge was done. The eight bodies hung from their chains, a foul, charred, grotesque, and indistinguishable pile. The cripple threw his torch at them, climbed slowly to the ceiling, and vanished through the skylight.

It is supposed that Trippetta, stationed on the roof of the saloon, had been the accomplice of her friend in his fiery revenge, and that, together, they effected their escape to their own country; for neither was seen again.

It is believed that Trippetta, positioned on the roof of the bar, had partnered with her friend in his explosive vengeance, and that together, they made their escape to their homeland; for neither was seen again.

THE MAN OF THE CROWD.

Ce grand malheur, de ne pouvoir être seul.—La Bruyère.

Ce grand malheur, de ne pouvoir être seul.—La Bruyère.

It was well said of a certain German book that “er lasst sich nicht lesen”—it does not permit itself to be read. There are some secrets which do not permit themselves to be told. Men die nightly in their beds, wringing the hands of ghostly confessors and looking them piteously in the eyes—die with despair of heart and convulsion of throat, on account of the hideousness of mysteries which will not suffer themselves to be revealed. Now and then, alas, the conscience of man takes up a burthen so heavy in horror that it can be thrown down only into the grave. And thus the essence of all crime is undivulged.

It was famously said about a certain German book that “er lasst sich nicht lesen”—it doesn’t allow itself to be read. There are some secrets that can’t be told. People die every night in their beds, squeezing the hands of ghostly confessors and looking them in the eyes with despair—dying with a heavy heart and a tight throat because of the terrible mysteries that refuse to be revealed. From time to time, unfortunately, a person’s conscience carries a burden so horrific that it can only be buried with them. And so, the nature of all crime remains undisclosed.

Not long ago, about the closing in of an evening in autumn, I sat at the large bow window of the D—— Coffee-House in London. For some months I had been ill in health, but was now convalescent, and, with returning strength, found myself in one of those happy moods which are so precisely the converse of ennui—moods of the keenest appetency, when the film from the mental vision departs—the αχλυξ η πριυ επῆευ—and the intellect, electrified, surpasses as greatly its every-day condition, as does the vivid yet candid reason of Leibnitz, the mad and flimsy rhetoric of Gorgias. Merely to breathe was enjoyment; and I derived positive pleasure even from many of the legitimate sources of pain. I felt a calm but inquisitive interest in every thing. With a cigar in my mouth and a newspaper in my lap, I had been amusing myself for the greater part of the afternoon, now in poring over advertisements, now in observing the promiscuous company in the room, and now in peering through the smoky panes into the street.

Not long ago, around the end of a fall evening, I sat at the large bay window of the D—— Coffee-House in London. I had been ill for a few months, but now I was recovering, and as my strength returned, I found myself in one of those joyful moods that are the exact opposite of boredom—moods filled with eager desire, when the haze from my mind lifts—the αχλυξ η πριυ επῆευ—and my intellect, ignited, exceeds its usual state, just as the vivid yet clear reasoning of Leibnitz surpasses the crazy and flimsy rhetoric of Gorgias. Simply breathing felt like a pleasure; I even found real enjoyment in many sources of discomfort. I felt a calm yet curious interest in everything. With a cigar in my mouth and a newspaper on my lap, I had been entertaining myself for most of the afternoon—sometimes browsing through ads, sometimes observing the diverse crowd in the room, and sometimes gazing through the smoky windows into the street.

This latter is one of the principal thoroughfares of the city, and had been very much crowded during the whole day. But, as the darkness came on, the throng momently increased; and, by the time the lamps were well lighted, two dense and continuous tides of population were rushing past the door. At this particular period of the evening I had never before been in a similar situation, and the tumultuous sea of human heads filled me, therefore, with a delicious novelty of emotion. I gave up, at length, all care of things within the hotel, and became absorbed in contemplation of the scene without.

This street is one of the main routes in the city and had been really crowded all day. But as night fell, the crowd kept growing; by the time the lamps were brightly lit, two thick and continuous waves of people were rushing past the door. At this time of night, I had never experienced anything like it before, and the chaotic sea of heads filled me with a thrilling sense of excitement. Eventually, I let go of all concern for what was happening inside the hotel and became completely absorbed in watching the scene outside.

At first my observations took an abstract and generalizing turn. I looked at the passengers in masses, and thought of them in their aggregate relations. Soon, however, I descended to details, and regarded with minute interest the innumerable varieties of figure, dress, air, gait, visage, and expression of countenance.

At first, my observations were broad and abstract. I viewed the passengers as a group and considered their collective relationships. Soon, though, I focused on the details, paying close attention to the countless varieties of body shape, clothing, demeanor, walk, facial features, and expressions.

By far the greater number of those who went by had a satisfied business-like demeanor, and seemed to be thinking only of making their way through the press. Their brows were knit, and their eyes rolled quickly; when pushed against by fellow-wayfarers they evinced no symptom of impatience, but adjusted their clothes and hurried on. Others, still a numerous class, were restless in their movements, had flushed faces, and talked and gesticulated to themselves, as if feeling in solitude on account of the very denseness of the company around. When impeded in their progress, these people suddenly ceased muttering, but re-doubled their gesticulations, and awaited, with an absent and overdone smile upon the lips, the course of the persons impeding them. If jostled, they bowed profusely to the jostlers, and appeared overwhelmed with confusion.—There was nothing very distinctive about these two large classes beyond what I have noted. Their habiliments belonged to that order which is pointedly termed the decent. They were undoubtedly noblemen, merchants, attorneys, tradesmen, stock-jobbers—the Eupatrids and the common-places of society—men of leisure and men actively engaged in affairs of their own—conducting business upon their own responsibility. They did not greatly excite my attention.

Most of the people passing by had a focused, business-like attitude and seemed intent only on making their way through the crowd. Their brows were furrowed, and their eyes darted around quickly; when they were bumped by other travelers, they showed no signs of impatience but adjusted their clothes and moved on. Others, a significant group, were restless in their movements, had flushed faces, and talked and gestured to themselves, as if they were feeling isolated despite being surrounded by so many people. When their progress was blocked, these individuals suddenly stopped muttering but increased their gesticulations, waiting with a vacant and exaggerated smile for the people in their way to move. If jostled, they bowed repeatedly to those who bumped into them, looking thoroughly embarrassed. There was nothing particularly distinctive about these two large groups beyond what I've described. Their clothing could be described as respectable. They were undoubtedly nobles, merchants, lawyers, tradespeople, stock traders—the upper class and the everyday members of society—some were enjoying leisure while others were actively involved in their own businesses, taking care of their own affairs. They didn't really capture my attention.

The tribe of clerks was an obvious one and here I discerned two remarkable divisions. There were the junior clerks of flash houses—young gentlemen with tight coats, bright boots, well-oiled hair, and supercilious lips. Setting aside a certain dapperness of carriage, which may be termed deskism for want of a better word, the manner of these persons seemed to me an exact fac-simile of what had been the perfection of bon ton about twelve or eighteen months before. They wore the cast-off graces of the gentry;—and this, I believe, involves the best definition of the class.

The group of clerks was pretty clear-cut, and here I noticed two notable divisions. First were the junior clerks at trendy offices—young guys in fitted jackets, shiny shoes, slicked-back hair, and condescending expressions. If you overlook a certain stylishness in their posture, which I might call "deskism" for lack of a better term, their behavior seemed to me an exact copy of what had been considered the height of sophistication about twelve to eighteen months ago. They embodied the discarded charm of the upper class; I think this captures the essence of the group perfectly.

The division of the upper clerks of staunch firms, or of the “steady old fellows,” it was not possible to mistake. These were known by their coats and pantaloons of black or brown, made to sit comfortably, with white cravats and waistcoats, broad solid-looking shoes, and thick hose or gaiters. They had all slightly bald heads, from which the right ears, long used to pen-holding, had an odd habit of standing off on end. I observed that they always removed or settled their hats with both hands, and wore watches, with short gold chains of a substantial and ancient pattern. Theirs was the affectation of respectability—if indeed there be an affectation so honorable.

You could easily spot the distinguished clerks from reputable firms, or the "steady old guys." They were identifiable by their comfortable black or brown coats and trousers, paired with white cravats and waistcoats. They wore sturdy-looking shoes and thick stockings or gaiters. Most of them had slightly bald heads, and their right ears—accustomed to holding pens—had a peculiar tendency to stick out. I noticed that they always took off or adjusted their hats with both hands and sported watches with short gold chains that had a classic and solid design. They displayed an air of respectability—though, perhaps, there's something noble about the pretense of it.

There were many individuals of dashing appearance, whom I easily understood as belonging to the race of swell pick-pockets with which all great cities are infested. I watched these gentry with much inquisitiveness, and found it difficult to imagine how they should ever be mistaken for gentlemen by gentlemen themselves. Their voluminousness of wristband, with an air of excessive frankness, should betray them at once.

There were a lot of stylish people who I quickly recognized as part of the slick pickpocket crew found in every big city. I observed these characters with great curiosity and found it hard to believe that they could ever be confused for actual gentlemen by other gentlemen. The way their cuffs were oversized, along with their overly casual demeanor, should have given them away immediately.

The gamblers, of whom I descried not a few, were still more easily recognisable. They wore every variety of dress, from that of the desperate thimble-rig bully, with velvet waistcoat, fancy neckerchief, gilt chains, and filagreed buttons, to that of the scrupulously inornate clergyman, than which nothing could be less liable to suspicion. Still all were distinguished by a certain sodden swarthiness of complexion, a filmy dimness of eye, and pallor and compression of lip. There were two other traits, moreover, by which I could always detect them: a guarded lowness of tone in conversation, and a more than ordinary extension of the thumb in a direction at right angles with the fingers. Very often, in company with these sharpers, I observed an order of men somewhat different in habits, but still birds of a kindred feather. They may be defined as the gentlemen who live by their wits. They seem to prey upon the public in two battalions—that of the dandies and that of the military men. Of the first grade the leading features are long locks and smiles; of the second, frogged coats and frowns.

The gamblers, many of whom I spotted, were even easier to identify. They wore all kinds of outfits, from the desperate con artist in a velvet vest, flashy neck scarf, gold chains, and intricate buttons, to the extremely plain clergyman, who looked completely harmless. Yet, they all shared a certain unhealthy darkness to their skin, a glassy look in their eyes, and pale, pressed lips. There were also two other traits that made them easy to recognize: a quiet tone when they spoke and an unusually extended thumb that stuck out at a right angle to their fingers. Often, alongside these swindlers, I noticed a different group of men who had different habits but were still similar in nature. They could be described as gentlemen who make a living using their wits. They seem to target the public in two groups: the dandies and the military men. The dandies typically have long hair and playful smiles, while the military men wear frogged coats and scowls.

Descending in the scale of what is termed gentility, I found darker and deeper themes for speculation. I saw Jew pedlars, with hawk eyes flashing from countenances whose every other feature wore only an expression of abject humility; sturdy professional street beggars scowling upon mendicants of a better stamp, whom despair alone had driven forth into the night for charity; feeble and ghastly invalids, upon whom death had placed a sure hand, and who sidled and tottered through the mob, looking every one beseechingly in the face, as if in search of some chance consolation, some lost hope; modest young girls returning from long and late labor to a cheerless home, and shrinking more tearfully than indignantly from the glances of ruffians, whose direct contact, even, could not be avoided; women of the town of all kinds and of all ages—the unequivocal beauty in the prime of her womanhood, putting one in mind of the statue in Lucian, with the surface of Parian marble, and the interior filled with filth—the loathsome and utterly lost leper in rags—the wrinkled, bejewelled and paint-begrimed beldame, making a last effort at youth—the mere child of immature form, yet, from long association, an adept in the dreadful coquetries of her trade, and burning with a rabid ambition to be ranked the equal of her elders in vice; drunkards innumerable and indescribable—some in shreds and patches, reeling, inarticulate, with bruised visage and lack-lustre eyes—some in whole although filthy garments, with a slightly unsteady swagger, thick sensual lips, and hearty-looking rubicund faces—others clothed in materials which had once been good, and which even now were scrupulously well brushed—men who walked with a more than naturally firm and springy step, but whose countenances were fearfully pale, whose eyes hideously wild and red, and who clutched with quivering fingers, as they strode through the crowd, at every object which came within their reach; beside these, pie-men, porters, coal-heavers, sweeps; organ-grinders, monkey-exhibitors, and ballad mongers, those who vended with those who sang; ragged artizans and exhausted laborers of every description, and all full of a noisy and inordinate vivacity which jarred discordantly upon the ear, and gave an aching sensation to the eye.

As I moved down the scale of what people call gentility, I encountered darker and deeper themes to think about. I saw Jewish peddlers with sharp eyes shining from faces that displayed only utter humility; tough professional beggars glaring at other beggars who seemed better off, driven into the night by despair to seek charity; frail and ghastly invalids, marked by death, who shuffled through the crowd, looking at everyone pleadingly as if searching for some chance comfort, some lost hope; modest young girls returning from long, late shifts to a bleak home, shrinking away more out of sadness than anger from the stares of rough men, whose presence they couldn’t avoid; women of the night of all types and ages—the undeniably beautiful one in her prime, reminding one of the statue in Lucian, with the smoothness of fine marble but filled with filth inside—the disgusting and completely lost leper in rags—the wrinkled, bejeweled, and paint-smeared old woman making one last attempt at youth—the mere child, still developing, yet because of long exposure, skilled in the horrible tricks of her trade, burning with an unhealthy desire to be seen as equal to her older counterparts in vice; countless and indescribable drunks—some in tatters, staggering, mumbling, with bruised faces and dull eyes—some in filthy but intact clothing, swaggering a little unsteadily, with thick lips and hearty, ruddy faces—others wearing once good fabrics that were still carefully brushed—men walking with a more than naturally firm spring in their step, but whose faces were alarmingly pale, whose eyes were horrifically red and wild, clutching with trembling fingers at everything within reach as they moved through the crowd; alongside them were pie vendors, porters, coal workers, sweepers; organ grinders, monkey performers, and singers, those who sold alongside those who sang; ragged craftsmen and exhausted laborers of every kind, all bursting with an overwhelming and noisy energy that struck a discordant note in the ear and made the eyes ache.

As the night deepened, so deepened to me the interest of the scene; for not only did the general character of the crowd materially alter (its gentler features retiring in the gradual withdrawal of the more orderly portion of the people, and its harsher ones coming out into bolder relief, as the late hour brought forth every species of infamy from its den,) but the rays of the gas-lamps, feeble at first in their struggle with the dying day, had now at length gained ascendancy, and threw over every thing a fitful and garish lustre. All was dark yet splendid—as that ebony to which has been likened the style of Tertullian.

As the night went on, my interest in the scene grew deeper; not only did the overall vibe of the crowd change significantly (the softer aspects faded as the more organized people slowly left, while the rougher ones became more pronounced as the late hour brought out all kinds of troublemakers), but the glow from the gas lamps, weak at first in their battle against the fading light, had finally taken over and cast a flickering, bright light over everything. It was all dark yet dazzling—like the ebony that Tertullian's style has been compared to.

The wild effects of the light enchained me to an examination of individual faces; and although the rapidity with which the world of light flitted before the window, prevented me from casting more than a glance upon each visage, still it seemed that, in my then peculiar mental state, I could frequently read, even in that brief interval of a glance, the history of long years.

The wild effects of the light kept me focused on looking at individual faces; and even though the speed at which the world of light passed by the window stopped me from looking more than a moment at each face, it felt like, in my unusual mental state at the time, I could often read the story of many years in just that brief glance.

With my brow to the glass, I was thus occupied in scrutinizing the mob, when suddenly there came into view a countenance (that of a decrepid old man, some sixty-five or seventy years of age,)—a countenance which at once arrested and absorbed my whole attention, on account of the absolute idiosyncrasy of its expression. Any thing even remotely resembling that expression I had never seen before. I well remember that my first thought, upon beholding it, was that Retzch, had he viewed it, would have greatly preferred it to his own pictural incarnations of the fiend. As I endeavored, during the brief minute of my original survey, to form some analysis of the meaning conveyed, there arose confusedly and paradoxically within my mind, the ideas of vast mental power, of caution, of penuriousness, of avarice, of coolness, of malice, of blood thirstiness, of triumph, of merriment, of excessive terror, of intense—of supreme despair. I felt singularly aroused, startled, fascinated. “How wild a history,” I said to myself, “is written within that bosom!” Then came a craving desire to keep the man in view—to know more of him. Hurriedly putting on an overcoat, and seizing my hat and cane, I made my way into the street, and pushed through the crowd in the direction which I had seen him take; for he had already disappeared. With some little difficulty I at length came within sight of him, approached, and followed him closely, yet cautiously, so as not to attract his attention.

With my forehead pressed against the glass, I was focused on studying the crowd when suddenly I noticed an old man, probably around sixty-five or seventy. His face instantly captured my full attention because of its completely unique expression. I had never seen anything like it before. I distinctly remember thinking that if Retzch had seen this man, he would have preferred his face over his own artistic depictions of a demon. As I tried to analyze what that expression meant during my brief observation, thoughts of immense mental power, caution, stinginess, greed, indifference, malice, bloodlust, triumph, joy, deep terror, and overwhelming despair surged chaotically in my mind. I felt unusually stirred, shocked, and captivated. “What a wild story lies within that heart!” I thought. Then I felt an urgent need to follow the man and learn more about him. Quickly putting on an overcoat and grabbing my hat and cane, I made my way outside and pushed through the crowd in the direction I had seen him go, as he had already vanished from sight. After a bit of effort, I finally spotted him, approached, and followed closely but carefully so as not to draw his attention.

I had now a good opportunity of examining his person. He was short in stature, very thin, and apparently very feeble. His clothes, generally, were filthy and ragged; but as he came, now and then, within the strong glare of a lamp, I perceived that his linen, although dirty, was of beautiful texture; and my vision deceived me, or, through a rent in a closely-buttoned and evidently second-handed roquelaire which enveloped him, I caught a glimpse both of a diamond and of a dagger. These observations heightened my curiosity, and I resolved to follow the stranger whithersoever he should go.

I now had a good chance to check him out. He was short, very thin, and seemed quite weak. His clothes were generally dirty and torn; but every now and then, as he stepped into the bright light of a lamp, I noticed that his shirt, although grimy, was made of beautiful fabric. And whether my eyes were playing tricks on me, or through a tear in a tightly buttoned, clearly second-hand cloak that wrapped around him, I caught a glimpse of both a diamond and a dagger. These observations piqued my curiosity, and I decided to follow the stranger wherever he went.

It was now fully night-fall, and a thick humid fog hung over the city, soon ending in a settled and heavy rain. This change of weather had an odd effect upon the crowd, the whole of which was at once put into new commotion, and overshadowed by a world of umbrellas. The waver, the jostle, and the hum increased in a tenfold degree. For my own part I did not much regard the rain—the lurking of an old fever in my system rendering the moisture somewhat too dangerously pleasant. Tying a handkerchief about my mouth, I kept on. For half an hour the old man held his way with difficulty along the great thoroughfare; and I here walked close at his elbow through fear of losing sight of him. Never once turning his head to look back, he did not observe me. By and by he passed into a cross street, which, although densely filled with people, was not quite so much thronged as the main one he had quitted. Here a change in his demeanor became evident. He walked more slowly and with less object than before—more hesitatingly. He crossed and re-crossed the way repeatedly without apparent aim; and the press was still so thick that, at every such movement, I was obliged to follow him closely. The street was a narrow and long one, and his course lay within it for nearly an hour, during which the passengers had gradually diminished to about that number which is ordinarily seen at noon in Broadway near the park—so vast a difference is there between a London populace and that of the most frequented American city. A second turn brought us into a square, brilliantly lighted, and overflowing with life. The old manner of the stranger re-appeared. His chin fell upon his breast, while his eyes rolled wildly from under his knit brows, in every direction, upon those who hemmed him in. He urged his way steadily and perseveringly. I was surprised, however, to find, upon his having made the circuit of the square, that he turned and retraced his steps. Still more was I astonished to see him repeat the same walk several times—once nearly detecting me as he came round with a sudden movement.

It was now fully nighttime, and a thick, humid fog covered the city, soon turning into a steady and heavy rain. This change in weather had a strange effect on the crowd, instantly stirring them up and filling the area with a sea of umbrellas. The swaying, shoving, and chatter increased tenfold. Personally, I didn't pay much attention to the rain—the lingering effects of an old fever in my system made the moisture a little too dangerously pleasant. Tying a handkerchief around my mouth, I pressed on. For half an hour, the old man struggled to make his way along the main street; I walked closely beside him, fearing I would lose sight of him. Without ever turning to look back, he didn't notice me. Eventually, he turned into a side street, which, although crowded with people, wasn’t as packed as the main one he had just left. Here, a change in his behavior became apparent. He walked more slowly and with less purpose than before—more hesitantly. He crossed and re-crossed the street repeatedly without any obvious reason, and the crowd was still so thick that I had to follow him closely with each movement. The street was narrow and long, and he continued along it for nearly an hour, during which the number of pedestrians gradually dwindled to about what you’d see around noon on Broadway near the park—showing just how vast the difference is between a London crowd and that of the busiest American city. A second turn led us into a well-lit square bursting with life. The old man’s previous demeanor returned. His chin dropped to his chest while his eyes rolled wildly from beneath his knitted brows, scanning those around him. He made his way through the crowd steadily and persistently. I was surprised, though, when he completed the circuit of the square and turned back the way he came. I was even more astonished to see him repeat the same route several times—once almost spotting me with a sudden movement.

In this exercise he spent another hour, at the end of which we met with far less interruption from passengers than at first. The rain fell fast; the air grew cool; and the people were retiring to their homes. With a gesture of impatience, the wanderer passed into a by-street comparatively deserted. Down this, some quarter of a mile long, he rushed with an activity I could not have dreamed of seeing in one so aged, and which put me to much trouble in pursuit. A few minutes brought us to a large and busy bazaar, with the localities of which the stranger appeared well acquainted, and where his original demeanor again became apparent, as he forced his way to and fro, without aim, among the host of buyers and sellers.

In this exercise, he spent another hour, and by the end, we faced much less interruption from passengers than at the beginning. The rain came down heavily; the air grew cooler; and people were heading home. With a gesture of impatience, the wanderer turned into a relatively quiet side street. Down this street, about a quarter of a mile long, he rushed with a surprising energy for someone so old, which made it difficult for me to keep up. A few minutes later, we arrived at a large, bustling market, where the stranger seemed very familiar with the area. His original demeanor returned as he pushed his way through the crowd of buyers and sellers aimlessly.

During the hour and a half, or thereabouts, which we passed in this place, it required much caution on my part to keep him within reach without attracting his observation. Luckily I wore a pair of caoutchouc over-shoes, and could move about in perfect silence. At no moment did he see that I watched him. He entered shop after shop, priced nothing, spoke no word, and looked at all objects with a wild and vacant stare. I was now utterly amazed at his behavior, and firmly resolved that we should not part until I had satisfied myself in some measure respecting him.

During the hour and a half we spent there, I had to be very careful to keep him within sight without him noticing. Thankfully, I was wearing a pair of rubber overshoes, which allowed me to move around silently. At no point did he realize I was observing him. He went into shop after shop, didn’t check prices, didn’t say a word, and stared blankly at everything. I was completely taken aback by his behavior and decided that we wouldn’t part ways until I understood a bit more about him.

A loud-toned clock struck eleven, and the company were fast deserting the bazaar. A shop-keeper, in putting up a shutter, jostled the old man, and at the instant I saw a strong shudder come over his frame. He hurried into the street, looked anxiously around him for an instant, and then ran with incredible swiftness through many crooked and people-less lanes, until we emerged once more upon the great thoroughfare whence we had started—the street of the D—— Hotel. It no longer wore, however, the same aspect. It was still brilliant with gas; but the rain fell fiercely, and there were few persons to be seen. The stranger grew pale. He walked moodily some paces up the once populous avenue, then, with a heavy sigh, turned in the direction of the river, and, plunging through a great variety of devious ways, came out, at length, in view of one of the principal theatres. It was about being closed, and the audience were thronging from the doors. I saw the old man gasp as if for breath while he threw himself amid the crowd; but I thought that the intense agony of his countenance had, in some measure, abated. His head again fell upon his breast; he appeared as I had seen him at first. I observed that he now took the course in which had gone the greater number of the audience—but, upon the whole, I was at a loss to comprehend the waywardness of his actions.

A loud clock chimed eleven, and the crowd was quickly leaving the bazaar. A shopkeeper, while putting up a shutter, bumped into the old man, and I noticed a strong shiver run through his body. He hurried into the street, glanced around anxiously for a moment, and then sprinted with incredible speed through various winding and empty alleyways until we emerged back onto the main street where we had started—the one in front of the D—— Hotel. It didn't look the same anymore. It was still bright with gas lights, but the rain was pouring down, and there were only a few people around. The stranger turned pale. He walked slowly a few steps up the once-busy street, then sighed heavily and headed toward the river, navigating through a maze of winding paths until he finally reached one of the major theaters. It was about to close, and the audience was spilling out of the doors. I watched the old man gasp for breath as he threw himself into the crowd, but the intense agony on his face seemed to have lessened a bit. His head dropped back onto his chest; he looked like I had first seen him. I noticed that he was now following the route taken by most of the audience—but overall, I struggled to make sense of his erratic behavior.

As he proceeded, the company grew more scattered, and his old uneasiness and vacillation were resumed. For some time he followed closely a party of some ten or twelve roisterers; but from this number one by one dropped off, until three only remained together, in a narrow and gloomy lane little frequented. The stranger paused, and, for a moment, seemed lost in thought; then, with every mark of agitation, pursued rapidly a route which brought us to the verge of the city, amid regions very different from those we had hitherto traversed. It was the most noisome quarter of London, where every thing wore the worst impress of the most deplorable poverty, and of the most desperate crime. By the dim light of an accidental lamp, tall, antique, worm-eaten, wooden tenements were seen tottering to their fall, in directions so many and capricious that scarce the semblance of a passage was discernible between them. The paving-stones lay at random, displaced from their beds by the rankly-growing grass. Horrible filth festered in the dammed-up gutters. The whole atmosphere teemed with desolation. Yet, as we proceeded, the sounds of human life revived by sure degrees, and at length large bands of the most abandoned of a London populace were seen reeling to and fro. The spirits of the old man again flickered up, as a lamp which is near its death hour. Once more he strode onward with elastic tread. Suddenly a corner was turned, a blaze of light burst upon our sight, and we stood before one of the huge suburban temples of Intemperance—one of the palaces of the fiend, Gin.

As he moved forward, the group became more scattered, and his old feelings of unease and uncertainty returned. For a while, he closely followed a group of about ten or twelve partygoers; but one by one, they dropped off, until only three remained together in a narrow, gloomy lane that wasn’t often visited. The stranger paused and seemed lost in thought for a moment; then, visibly agitated, he quickly took a path that led us to the edge of the city, in areas completely different from those we had just traversed. It was the most wretched part of London, where everything reflected the harsh reality of extreme poverty and desperate crime. By the faint light of a random lamp, tall, old, rotten wooden buildings appeared to be leaning toward collapse, in such chaotic directions that a passage between them was barely discernible. The cobblestones were haphazardly scattered, uprooted by thick, overgrown grass. Awful filth festered in the clogged gutters. The whole atmosphere felt steeped in desolation. Yet, as we continued, the sounds of human life gradually began to emerge, and soon we saw large groups of the most destitute members of the London crowd stumbling back and forth. The old man’s spirits flickered back to life, like a dying lamp. Once again, he strode forward with a spring in his step. Suddenly, we turned a corner, and a burst of light greeted us, revealing one of the massive suburban temples of Intemperance—one of the palaces of the demon, Gin.

It was now nearly day-break; but a number of wretched inebriates still pressed in and out of the flaunting entrance. With a half shriek of joy the old man forced a passage within, resumed at once his original bearing, and stalked backward and forward, without apparent object, among the throng. He had not been thus long occupied, however, before a rush to the doors gave token that the host was closing them for the night. It was something even more intense than despair that I then observed upon the countenance of the singular being whom I had watched so pertinaciously. Yet he did not hesitate in his career, but, with a mad energy, retraced his steps at once, to the heart of the mighty London. Long and swiftly he fled, while I followed him in the wildest amazement, resolute not to abandon a scrutiny in which I now felt an interest all-absorbing. The sun arose while we proceeded, and, when we had once again reached that most thronged mart of the populous town, the street of the D—— Hotel, it presented an appearance of human bustle and activity scarcely inferior to what I had seen on the evening before. And here, long, amid the momently increasing confusion, did I persist in my pursuit of the stranger. But, as usual, he walked to and fro, and during the day did not pass from out the turmoil of that street. And, as the shades of the second evening came on, I grew wearied unto death, and, stopping fully in front of the wanderer, gazed at him steadfastly in the face. He noticed me not, but resumed his solemn walk, while I, ceasing to follow, remained absorbed in contemplation. “This old man,” I said at length, “is the type and the genius of deep crime. He refuses to be alone. He is the man of the crowd. It will be in vain to follow; for I shall learn no more of him, nor of his deeds. The worst heart of the world is a grosser book than the ‘Hortulus Animæ,’ {*1} and perhaps it is but one of the great mercies of God that ‘er lasst sich nicht lesen.’”

It was nearly dawn, but a number of miserable drunks were still moving in and out of the flashy entrance. With a half-shout of joy, the old man pushed his way inside, immediately took on his usual demeanor, and wandered back and forth among the crowd without a clear purpose. He hadn’t been doing this long when a surge towards the doors indicated that the owner was closing up for the night. I noticed something even stronger than despair on the face of the odd person I had been watching so closely. Still, he didn’t hesitate, and with a wild energy, he quickly made his way back into the heart of busy London. He fled long and fast while I followed him in utter astonishment, determined not to give up on my curiosity, which had become all-consuming. The sun rose as we moved, and when we reached that extremely busy spot of the city—the street of the D—— Hotel—it seemed as lively and bustling as it had been the night before. Here, amidst the increasing chaos, I continued to pursue the stranger. As usual, he moved back and forth, and throughout the day, he didn't leave the busyness of that street. As night began to fall again, I became exhausted and, standing right in front of him, stared him in the face. He didn’t notice me but continued his serious pacing while I, stopping my pursuit, was lost in thought. “This old man,” I finally said, “is the embodiment and mastermind of deep crime. He refuses to be alone. He is the man of the crowd. It’s pointless to follow him; I won’t learn anything more about him or his actions. The darkest heart in the world is a coarser book than the ‘Hortulus Animæ,’ {*1} and maybe it’s one of God’s great mercies that ‘er lasst sich nicht lesen.'”

{*1} The “Hortulus Animæ cum Oratiunculis Aliquibus Superadditis” of Grünninger.

{*1} The "Hortulus Animæ cum Oratiunculis Aliquibus Superadditis" of Grünninger.

NEVER BET THE DEVIL YOUR HEAD

A Tale With a Moral.

Con tal que las costumbres de un autor,” says Don Thomas de las Torres, in the preface to his “Amatory Poems” “sean puras y castas, importo muy poco que no sean igualmente severas sus obras”—meaning, in plain English, that, provided the morals of an author are pure personally, it signifies nothing what are the morals of his books. We presume that Don Thomas is now in Purgatory for the assertion. It would be a clever thing, too, in the way of poetical justice, to keep him there until his “Amatory Poems” get out of print, or are laid definitely upon the shelf through lack of readers. Every fiction should have a moral; and, what is more to the purpose, the critics have discovered that every fiction has. Philip Melanchthon, some time ago, wrote a commentary upon the “Batrachomyomachia,” and proved that the poet’s object was to excite a distaste for sedition. Pierre la Seine, going a step farther, shows that the intention was to recommend to young men temperance in eating and drinking. Just so, too, Jacobus Hugo has satisfied himself that, by Euenis, Homer meant to insinuate John Calvin; by Antinous, Martin Luther; by the Lotophagi, Protestants in general; and, by the Harpies, the Dutch. Our more modern Scholiasts are equally acute. These fellows demonstrate a hidden meaning in “The Antediluvians,” a parable in Powhatan, “new views in Cock Robin,” and transcendentalism in “Hop O’ My Thumb.” In short, it has been shown that no man can sit down to write without a very profound design. Thus to authors in general much trouble is spared. A novelist, for example, need have no care of his moral. It is there—that is to say, it is somewhere—and the moral and the critics can take care of themselves. When the proper time arrives, all that the gentleman intended, and all that he did not intend, will be brought to light, in the “Dial,” or the “Down-Easter,” together with all that he ought to have intended, and the rest that he clearly meant to intend:—so that it will all come very straight in the end.

As long as the customs of an author,” says Don Thomas de las Torres in the preface to his “Amatory Poems” “are pure and chaste, it matters little if their works are not equally strict”—meaning, in simple terms, that as long as an author’s personal morals are good, it doesn’t really matter what the morals of their books are. We assume that Don Thomas is now in Purgatory for this claim. It would also be fitting, in terms of poetic justice, to keep him there until his “Amatory Poems” go out of print or are definitely set aside due to lack of readers. Every piece of fiction should have a moral; and, importantly, critics have found that every fiction does. Philip Melanchthon, some time ago, wrote a commentary on the “Batrachomyomachia” and proved that the poet's goal was to create a dislike for rebellion. Pierre la Seine went a step further, showing that the intention was to advocate temperance in eating and drinking for young men. Similarly, Jacobus Hugo has convinced himself that by Euenis, Homer meant to insinuate John Calvin; by Antinous, Martin Luther; by the Lotophagi, Protestants in general; and by the Harpies, the Dutch. Our more modern scholars are just as clever. These guys uncover a hidden meaning in “The Antediluvians,” a parable in Powhatan, “new views in Cock Robin,” and transcendentalism in “Hop O’ My Thumb.” In short, it has been shown that no one can sit down to write without a very deep purpose. Thus, much hassle is spared for authors. A novelist, for instance, doesn’t need to worry about their moral. It’s there—meaning, it exists somewhere—and the moral and the critics can handle it on their own. When the right time comes, everything the author intended, and everything they didn’t intend, will come to light, in the “Dial,” or the “Down-Easter,” along with everything they should have intended, and the rest they clearly meant to imply:—so that it will all be clear in the end.

There is no just ground, therefore, for the charge brought against me by certain ignoramuses—that I have never written a moral tale, or, in more precise words, a tale with a moral. They are not the critics predestined to bring me out, and develop my morals:—that is the secret. By and by the “North American Quarterly Humdrum” will make them ashamed of their stupidity. In the meantime, by way of staying execution—by way of mitigating the accusations against me—I offer the sad history appended,—a history about whose obvious moral there can be no question whatever, since he who runs may read it in the large capitals which form the title of the tale. I should have credit for this arrangement—a far wiser one than that of La Fontaine and others, who reserve the impression to be conveyed until the last moment, and thus sneak it in at the fag end of their fables.

There's no real reason for the criticism directed at me by some clueless people—that I've never written a moral story, or, more specifically, a story with a moral. They're not the right critics to reveal my intentions and develop my morals—that's the key. Eventually, the “North American Quarterly Humdrum” will make them regret their ignorance. In the meantime, to avoid judgment—to lessen the accusations against me—I present the unfortunate story attached—a story with a clear moral that leaves no room for doubt, as anyone can easily see it in the bold letters of the story's title. I should get credit for this approach—a much smarter one than La Fontaine and others, who hold back the message until the very end and sneak it in at the conclusion of their fables.

Defuncti injuriâ ne afficiantur was a law of the twelve tables, and De mortuis nil nisi bonum is an excellent injunction—even if the dead in question be nothing but dead small beer. It is not my design, therefore, to vituperate my deceased friend, Toby Dammit. He was a sad dog, it is true, and a dog’s death it was that he died; but he himself was not to blame for his vices. They grew out of a personal defect in his mother. She did her best in the way of flogging him while an infant—for duties to her well-regulated mind were always pleasures, and babies, like tough steaks, or the modern Greek olive trees, are invariably the better for beating—but, poor woman! she had the misfortune to be left-handed, and a child flogged left-handedly had better be left unflogged. The world revolves from right to left. It will not do to whip a baby from left to right. If each blow in the proper direction drives an evil propensity out, it follows that every thump in an opposite one knocks its quota of wickedness in. I was often present at Toby’s chastisements, and, even by the way in which he kicked, I could perceive that he was getting worse and worse every day. At last I saw, through the tears in my eyes, that there was no hope of the villain at all, and one day when he had been cuffed until he grew so black in the face that one might have mistaken him for a little African, and no effect had been produced beyond that of making him wriggle himself into a fit, I could stand it no longer, but went down upon my knees forthwith, and, uplifting my voice, made prophecy of his ruin.

Defuncti injuriâ ne afficiantur was a law from the Twelve Tables, and De mortuis nil nisi bonum is a great principle—even if the deceased in question is just a minor figure. So, I don't intend to speak ill of my late friend, Toby Dammit. He was indeed a troubled person, and he met an unfortunate end; however, he wasn’t solely at fault for his flaws. They stemmed from a personal issue with his mother. She genuinely tried to discipline him while he was a baby—after all, her responsibilities to her well-ordered mind were always enjoyable, and babies, like tough steaks or modern Greek olive trees, are generally better off with some tough love—but, poor woman! She was left-handed, and a child who gets punished with a left-handed approach might as well not be punished at all. The world turns from right to left. You can’t just whip a child from left to right. If every proper strike drives out a bad tendency, then every hit in the wrong direction brings in its share of wickedness. I was often there during Toby’s punishments, and even just by how he reacted, I could tell he was getting worse by the day. Eventually, through my tears, I realized there was no hope for that rascal, and one day when he had been hit so much that he turned so dark in the face you might confuse him for a little African, and nothing had really changed except for him wriggling into a fit, I couldn't take it anymore. I dropped to my knees and raised my voice, predicting his downfall.

The fact is that his precocity in vice was awful. At five months of age he used to get into such passions that he was unable to articulate. At six months, I caught him gnawing a pack of cards. At seven months he was in the constant habit of catching and kissing the female babies. At eight months he peremptorily refused to put his signature to the Temperance pledge. Thus he went on increasing in iniquity, month after month, until, at the close of the first year, he not only insisted upon wearing moustaches, but had contracted a propensity for cursing and swearing, and for backing his assertions by bets.

The truth is that his early development in bad behavior was shocking. At five months old, he would throw such fits that he couldn't even speak. By six months, I caught him chewing on a deck of cards. At seven months, he was always catching and kissing the baby girls. At eight months, he flat out refused to sign the Temperance pledge. He continued to become more wicked, month after month, until by the end of his first year, he not only insisted on wearing mustaches but had also developed a habit of cursing and swearing, backing up his claims with bets.

Through this latter most ungentlemanly practice, the ruin which I had predicted to Toby Dammit overtook him at last. The fashion had “grown with his growth and strengthened with his strength,” so that, when he came to be a man, he could scarcely utter a sentence without interlarding it with a proposition to gamble. Not that he actually laid wagers—no. I will do my friend the justice to say that he would as soon have laid eggs. With him the thing was a mere formula—nothing more. His expressions on this head had no meaning attached to them whatever. They were simple if not altogether innocent expletives—imaginative phrases wherewith to round off a sentence. When he said “I’ll bet you so and so,” nobody ever thought of taking him up; but still I could not help thinking it my duty to put him down. The habit was an immoral one, and so I told him. It was a vulgar one—this I begged him to believe. It was discountenanced by society—here I said nothing but the truth. It was forbidden by act of Congress—here I had not the slightest intention of telling a lie. I remonstrated—but to no purpose. I demonstrated—in vain. I entreated—he smiled. I implored—he laughed. I preached—he sneered. I threatened—he swore. I kicked him—he called for the police. I pulled his nose—he blew it, and offered to bet the Devil his head that I would not venture to try that experiment again.

Through this really uncivilized behavior, the disaster I had warned Toby Dammit about finally caught up with him. The habit had “grown with his growth and strengthened with his strength,” so that by the time he became an adult, he could barely say a sentence without throwing in a suggestion to gamble. Not that he actually placed bets—no. I have to give my friend credit for that; he would rather lay eggs. For him, it was just a meaningless routine—nothing more. His comments on this subject held no real significance. They were simply, if not entirely innocent, filler phrases—creative ways to finish off a sentence. When he said, “I’ll bet you so and so,” nobody ever thought about taking him seriously; yet, I couldn’t help but feel it was my responsibility to correct him. The habit was wrong, and I told him so. It was tacky—this, I urged him to believe. Society looked down on it—I was just telling the truth there. It was illegal under federal law—I had no intention of lying about that. I protested—but it was pointless. I proved my point—in vain. I begged him—he just smiled. I pleaded—he laughed. I advised him—he mocked. I threatened him—he swore at me. I kicked him—he called the cops. I pulled his nose—he honked it and challenged me to bet the Devil his head that I wouldn’t try that again.

Poverty was another vice which the peculiar physical deficiency of Dammit’s mother had entailed upon her son. He was detestably poor, and this was the reason, no doubt, that his expletive expressions about betting, seldom took a pecuniary turn. I will not be bound to say that I ever heard him make use of such a figure of speech as “I’ll bet you a dollar.” It was usually “I’ll bet you what you please,” or “I’ll bet you what you dare,” or “I’ll bet you a trifle,” or else, more significantly still, “I’ll bet the Devil my head.”

Poverty was another issue that the unique physical limitations of Dammit’s mother had passed on to her son. He was extremely poor, and this was probably why his curse words about betting rarely involved money. I can’t say I ever heard him use a phrase like “I’ll bet you a dollar.” It was usually “I’ll bet you whatever you want,” or “I’ll bet you what you dare,” or “I’ll bet you a little something,” or even more dramatically, “I’ll bet the Devil my head.”

This latter form seemed to please him best;—perhaps because it involved the least risk; for Dammit had become excessively parsimonious. Had any one taken him up, his head was small, and thus his loss would have been small too. But these are my own reflections and I am by no means sure that I am right in attributing them to him. At all events the phrase in question grew daily in favor, notwithstanding the gross impropriety of a man betting his brains like bank-notes—but this was a point which my friend’s perversity of disposition would not permit him to comprehend. In the end, he abandoned all other forms of wager, and gave himself up to “I’ll bet the Devil my head,” with a pertinacity and exclusiveness of devotion that displeased not less than it surprised me. I am always displeased by circumstances for which I cannot account. Mysteries force a man to think, and so injure his health. The truth is, there was something in the air with which Mr. Dammit was wont to give utterance to his offensive expression—something in his manner of enunciation—which at first interested, and afterwards made me very uneasy—something which, for want of a more definite term at present, I must be permitted to call queer; but which Mr. Coleridge would have called mystical, Mr. Kant pantheistical, Mr. Carlyle twistical, and Mr. Emerson hyperquizzitistical. I began not to like it at all. Mr. Dammits soul was in a perilous state. I resolved to bring all my eloquence into play to save it. I vowed to serve him as St. Patrick, in the Irish chronicle, is said to have served the toad,—that is to say, “awaken him to a sense of his situation.” I addressed myself to the task forthwith. Once more I betook myself to remonstrance. Again I collected my energies for a final attempt at expostulation.

This latter form seemed to please him the most—maybe because it involved the least risk; Dammit had become really stingy. If anyone challenged him, his head was small, so his loss would be small too. But these are just my thoughts, and I'm not sure I'm right in attributing them to him. In any case, the phrase in question gained popularity every day, despite the clear inappropriateness of a man betting his brains like cash—but this was something my friend's stubbornness wouldn't let him understand. Ultimately, he gave up all other kinds of bets and committed himself to “I’ll bet the Devil my head,” with such tenacity and exclusive dedication that it both annoyed and surprised me. I'm always frustrated by things I can't explain. Mysteries make a person think, which isn't good for his health. The truth is, there was something in the way Mr. Dammit expressed his offensive phrase—something in his tone of voice—that initially intrigued me, but later made me very uneasy—something I can only describe as strange; but which Mr. Coleridge would have called mystical, Mr. Kant pantheistical, Mr. Carlyle twistical, and Mr. Emerson hyperquizzitistical. I started to dislike it completely. Mr. Dammit's soul was in a dangerous state. I decided to use all my persuasive skills to save it. I promised to help him as St. Patrick, in the Irish tale, is said to have helped the toad—that is, “awaken him to a sense of his situation.” I got right to work on it. Once again, I took it upon myself to protest. I gathered my strength for one last attempt at reasoning with him.

When I had made an end of my lecture, Mr. Dammit indulged himself in some very equivocal behavior. For some moments he remained silent, merely looking me inquisitively in the face. But presently he threw his head to one side, and elevated his eyebrows to a great extent. Then he spread out the palms of his hands and shrugged up his shoulders. Then he winked with the right eye. Then he repeated the operation with the left. Then he shut them both up very tight. Then he opened them both so very wide that I became seriously alarmed for the consequences. Then, applying his thumb to his nose, he thought proper to make an indescribable movement with the rest of his fingers. Finally, setting his arms a-kimbo, he condescended to reply.

When I finished my lecture, Mr. Dammit engaged in some very ambiguous behavior. For a few moments, he stayed silent, just looking at me with curiosity. But then he tilted his head to the side and raised his eyebrows dramatically. He spread out his palms and shrugged his shoulders. Then he winked with his right eye, followed by his left. He shut both eyes tight and then opened them wide, making me genuinely worried about what might happen next. After that, he put his thumb to his nose and made an indescribable gesture with the rest of his fingers. Finally, with his arms crossed, he decided to respond.

I can call to mind only the heads of his discourse. He would be obliged to me if I would hold my tongue. He wished none of my advice. He despised all my insinuations. He was old enough to take care of himself. Did I still think him baby Dammit? Did I mean to say any thing against his character? Did I intend to insult him? Was I a fool? Was my maternal parent aware, in a word, of my absence from the domiciliary residence? He would put this latter question to me as to a man of veracity, and he would bind himself to abide by my reply. Once more he would demand explicitly if my mother knew that I was out. My confusion, he said, betrayed me, and he would be willing to bet the Devil his head that she did not.

I can only remember the main points of what he said. He would be grateful if I kept quiet. He didn’t want any of my advice. He looked down on all my suggestions. He was old enough to take care of himself. Did I still think he was a child? Was I trying to say something bad about his character? Did I mean to insult him? Was I an idiot? Did my mom even know I was gone from home? He would ask me this as if I were telling the truth, and he would promise to stick to my answer. Again, he would clearly ask if my mom knew I was out. He said my confusion gave me away, and he’d bet the Devil his head that she didn’t.

Mr. Dammit did not pause for my rejoinder. Turning upon his heel, he left my presence with undignified precipitation. It was well for him that he did so. My feelings had been wounded. Even my anger had been aroused. For once I would have taken him up upon his insulting wager. I would have won for the Arch-Enemy Mr. Dammit’s little head—for the fact is, my mamma was very well aware of my merely temporary absence from home.

Mr. Dammit didn’t wait for my response. Turning on his heel, he left my presence in a rushed manner. It was a good thing he did. My feelings were hurt. Even my anger was stirred. For once, I would have taken him up on his insulting bet. I would have won for the Arch-Enemy Mr. Dammit’s little head—because, the truth is, my mom knew all about my temporary absence from home.

But Khoda shefa midêhed—Heaven gives relief—as the Mussulmans say when you tread upon their toes. It was in pursuance of my duty that I had been insulted, and I bore the insult like a man. It now seemed to me, however, that I had done all that could be required of me, in the case of this miserable individual, and I resolved to trouble him no longer with my counsel, but to leave him to his conscience and himself. But although I forebore to intrude with my advice, I could not bring myself to give up his society altogether. I even went so far as to humor some of his less reprehensible propensities; and there were times when I found myself lauding his wicked jokes, as epicures do mustard, with tears in my eyes:—so profoundly did it grieve me to hear his evil talk.

But Khoda shefa midêhed—Heaven gives relief—as Muslims say when you step on their toes. I had been insulted while doing my duty, and I took the insult like a man. Still, it seemed to me that I had done everything I could for this unfortunate person, and I decided not to bother him with my advice anymore, leaving him to his own conscience. However, even though I held back from giving advice, I couldn’t bring myself to completely distance myself from him. I even went so far as to indulge some of his less objectionable habits; there were moments when I found myself laughing at his bad jokes, as foodies do with mustard, with tears in my eyes:—it deeply saddened me to hear his wicked talk.

One fine day, having strolled out together, arm in arm, our route led us in the direction of a river. There was a bridge, and we resolved to cross it. It was roofed over, by way of protection from the weather, and the archway, having but few windows, was thus very uncomfortably dark. As we entered the passage, the contrast between the external glare and the interior gloom struck heavily upon my spirits. Not so upon those of the unhappy Dammit, who offered to bet the Devil his head that I was hipped. He seemed to be in an unusual good humor. He was excessively lively—so much so that I entertained I know not what of uneasy suspicion. It is not impossible that he was affected with the transcendentals. I am not well enough versed, however, in the diagnosis of this disease to speak with decision upon the point; and unhappily there were none of my friends of the “Dial” present. I suggest the idea, nevertheless, because of a certain species of austere Merry-Andrewism which seemed to beset my poor friend, and caused him to make quite a Tom-Fool of himself. Nothing would serve him but wriggling and skipping about under and over every thing that came in his way; now shouting out, and now lisping out, all manner of odd little and big words, yet preserving the gravest face in the world all the time. I really could not make up my mind whether to kick or to pity him. At length, having passed nearly across the bridge, we approached the termination of the footway, when our progress was impeded by a turnstile of some height. Through this I made my way quietly, pushing it around as usual. But this turn would not serve the turn of Mr. Dammit. He insisted upon leaping the stile, and said he could cut a pigeon-wing over it in the air. Now this, conscientiously speaking, I did not think he could do. The best pigeon-winger over all kinds of style was my friend Mr. Carlyle, and as I knew he could not do it, I would not believe that it could be done by Toby Dammit. I therefore told him, in so many words, that he was a braggadocio, and could not do what he said. For this I had reason to be sorry afterward;—for he straightway offered to bet the Devil his head that he could.

One fine day, after walking out together, arm in arm, we headed towards a river. There was a bridge, and we decided to cross it. It had a roof to protect us from the weather, but the few windows made it quite dark inside. As we entered, the bright light outside clashed heavily with the dimness within, which affected my mood. Not so for the unhappy Dammit, who boldly claimed he’d bet the Devil his head that I was feeling down. He seemed unusually cheerful, lively even—so much so that I felt a strange suspicion. It’s possible he was having a moment of exuberance. However, I’m not knowledgeable enough to diagnose that condition, and unfortunately, none of my friends from the “Dial” were around. I mention the possibility because of a peculiar kind of serious silliness that seemed to take over my poor friend, causing him to act quite foolishly. He couldn't help but bounce around, jumping over everything in his path; one moment he was shouting and the next he was mumbling all sorts of odd words, while keeping the most serious expression. I struggled to decide whether to kick him or feel sorry for him. Eventually, after nearly crossing the bridge, we reached a turnstile that blocked our way. I made my way through it as usual, pushing it around. But Dammit wasn’t having it. He insisted on jumping over the stile and claimed he could do a fancy move in the air. Honestly, I didn’t think he could pull it off. The best person I knew at jumping over styles was my friend Mr. Carlyle, and since I knew he couldn’t do it, I doubted that Toby Dammit could either. So, I told him outright that he was bragging and couldn’t do what he claimed. I later regretted that—because he immediately offered to bet the Devil his head that he could.

I was about to reply, notwithstanding my previous resolutions, with some remonstrance against his impiety, when I heard, close at my elbow, a slight cough, which sounded very much like the ejaculation “ahem!” I started, and looked about me in surprise. My glance at length fell into a nook of the frame—work of the bridge, and upon the figure of a little lame old gentleman of venerable aspect. Nothing could be more reverend than his whole appearance; for he not only had on a full suit of black, but his shirt was perfectly clean and the collar turned very neatly down over a white cravat, while his hair was parted in front like a girl’s. His hands were clasped pensively together over his stomach, and his two eyes were carefully rolled up into the top of his head.

I was about to respond, despite my earlier resolutions, with some objections to his disrespect, when I heard a soft cough right next to me, which sounded a lot like “ahem!” I jumped slightly and looked around in surprise. Eventually, my gaze fell into a corner of the bridge's framework, and I saw the figure of a little, lame old man who looked quite distinguished. His whole appearance was very dignified; he was wearing a full black suit, his shirt was immaculate, and the collar was neatly folded down over a white cravat, while his hair was parted in the front like a woman’s. His hands were thoughtfully clasped over his stomach, and his eyes were carefully rolled up to the top of his head.

Upon observing him more closely, I perceived that he wore a black silk apron over his small-clothes; and this was a thing which I thought very odd. Before I had time to make any remark, however, upon so singular a circumstance, he interrupted me with a second “ahem!”

Upon looking at him more closely, I noticed that he was wearing a black silk apron over his pants, which I thought was quite strange. Before I could say anything about this unusual situation, he interrupted me with another “ahem!”

To this observation I was not immediately prepared to reply. The fact is, remarks of this laconic nature are nearly unanswerable. I have known a Quarterly Review non-plussed by the word “Fudge!” I am not ashamed to say, therefore, that I turned to Mr. Dammit for assistance.

To this observation, I wasn't really ready to respond right away. The truth is, comments like that are hard to answer. I've seen a Quarterly Review stumped by the word “Fudge!” So, I'm not ashamed to admit that I turned to Mr. Dammit for help.

“Dammit,” said I, “what are you about? don’t you hear?—the gentleman says ‘ahem!’” I looked sternly at my friend while I thus addressed him; for, to say the truth, I felt particularly puzzled, and when a man is particularly puzzled he must knit his brows and look savage, or else he is pretty sure to look like a fool.

“Damn it,” I said, “what are you doing? Don’t you hear?—the guy says ‘ahem!’” I glared at my friend as I spoke to him; honestly, I was really confused, and when a person is really confused, they have to frown and look angry, or else they just end up looking foolish.

“Dammit,” observed I—although this sounded very much like an oath, than which nothing was further from my thoughts—“Dammit,” I suggested—“the gentleman says ‘ahem!’”

“Damn it,” I noted—although this sounded a lot like a curse, which was the last thing on my mind—“Damn it,” I proposed—“the guy says ‘ahem!’”

I do not attempt to defend my remark on the score of profundity; I did not think it profound myself; but I have noticed that the effect of our speeches is not always proportionate with their importance in our own eyes; and if I had shot Mr. D. through and through with a Paixhan bomb, or knocked him in the head with the “Poets and Poetry of America,” he could hardly have been more discomfited than when I addressed him with those simple words: “Dammit, what are you about?—don’t you hear?—the gentleman says ‘ahem!’”

I’m not trying to defend my comment as being deep; I didn’t think it was profound myself. But I’ve noticed that what we say doesn’t always match how significant we think it is. If I had shot Mr. D. with a Paixhan bomb or hit him on the head with “Poets and Poetry of America,” he couldn’t have looked more unsettled than he did when I simply said, “Dammit, what are you doing?—don’t you hear?—the gentleman says ‘ahem!’”

“You don’t say so?” gasped he at length, after turning more colors than a pirate runs up, one after the other, when chased by a man-of-war. “Are you quite sure he said that? Well, at all events I am in for it now, and may as well put a bold face upon the matter. Here goes, then—ahem!”

“You don’t say?” he finally exclaimed, his face turning more colors than a pirate's flag in a storm. “Are you absolutely sure he said that? Well, either way, I’m in for it now, so I might as well face it head-on. Here goes, then—ahem!”

At this the little old gentleman seemed pleased—God only knows why. He left his station at the nook of the bridge, limped forward with a gracious air, took Dammit by the hand and shook it cordially, looking all the while straight up in his face with an air of the most unadulterated benignity which it is possible for the mind of man to imagine.

At this, the little old man looked happy—God knows why. He stepped away from the corner of the bridge, limped forward with a friendly demeanor, took Dammit by the hand and shook it warmly, all the while looking straight into his face with an expression of the purest kindness that anyone could imagine.

“I am quite sure you will win it, Dammit,” said he, with the frankest of all smiles, “but we are obliged to have a trial, you know, for the sake of mere form.”

“I’m pretty sure you’ll win it, damn it,” he said, with the most genuine smile, “but we have to have a trial, you know, just for the sake of appearances.”

“Ahem!” replied my friend, taking off his coat, with a deep sigh, tying a pocket-handkerchief around his waist, and producing an unaccountable alteration in his countenance by twisting up his eyes and bringing down the corners of his mouth—“ahem!” And “ahem!” said he again, after a pause; and not another word more than “ahem!” did I ever know him to say after that. “Aha!” thought I, without expressing myself aloud—“this is quite a remarkable silence on the part of Toby Dammit, and is no doubt a consequence of his verbosity upon a previous occasion. One extreme induces another. I wonder if he has forgotten the many unanswerable questions which he propounded to me so fluently on the day when I gave him my last lecture? At all events, he is cured of the transcendentals.”

“Ahem!” replied my friend, taking off his coat with a deep sigh, tying a pocket handkerchief around his waist, and making an unexplainable change in his expression by squinting and pulling down the corners of his mouth—“ahem!” And “ahem!” he said again after a pause; and not another word other than “ahem!” did I ever know him to say after that. “Aha!” I thought, without saying it out loud—“this is quite a remarkable silence from Toby Dammit, and it’s probably a result of his talkativeness last time. One extreme leads to another. I wonder if he has forgotten the many unanswerable questions he threw at me so smoothly the day I gave him my last lecture? In any case, he’s been cured of the transcendentals.”

“Ahem!” here replied Toby, just as if he had been reading my thoughts, and looking like a very old sheep in a revery.

“Ahem!” Toby replied, as if he could read my thoughts, looking like a very old sheep lost in thought.

The old gentleman now took him by the arm, and led him more into the shade of the bridge—a few paces back from the turnstile. “My good fellow,” said he, “I make it a point of conscience to allow you this much run. Wait here, till I take my place by the stile, so that I may see whether you go over it handsomely, and transcendentally, and don’t omit any flourishes of the pigeon-wing. A mere form, you know. I will say ‘one, two, three, and away.’ Mind you, start at the word ‘away.’” Here he took his position by the stile, paused a moment as if in profound reflection, then looked up and, I thought, smiled very slightly, then tightened the strings of his apron, then took a long look at Dammit, and finally gave the word as agreed upon—

The old man took him by the arm and led him further into the shade of the bridge, a few steps back from the turnstile. “Listen, my friend,” he said, “I feel it's important to give you this chance. Wait here until I get into position by the stile so I can see if you clear it well and with style, and don’t forget to include some flair. Just a formality, you know. I’ll say ‘one, two, three, and go.’ Make sure you start when I say ‘go.’” He then positioned himself by the stile, paused for a moment as if deep in thought, looked up and, I thought, smiled just a little, tightened his apron strings, took a good look at Dammit, and finally gave the signal as agreed.

One—two—three—and—away!

One, two, three, go!

Punctually at the word “away,” my poor friend set off in a strong gallop. The stile was not very high, like Mr. Lord’s—nor yet very low, like that of Mr. Lord’s reviewers, but upon the whole I made sure that he would clear it. And then what if he did not?—ah, that was the question—what if he did not? “What right,” said I, “had the old gentleman to make any other gentleman jump? The little old dot-and-carry-one! who is he? If he asks me to jump, I won’t do it, that’s flat, and I don’t care who the devil he is.” The bridge, as I say, was arched and covered in, in a very ridiculous manner, and there was a most uncomfortable echo about it at all times—an echo which I never before so particularly observed as when I uttered the four last words of my remark.

Right on the word “away,” my poor friend took off in a strong gallop. The stile wasn’t very high, like Mr. Lord’s—nor very low, like that of Mr. Lord’s reviewers—but overall, I was sure he would clear it. And what if he didn’t?—ah, that was the question—what if he didn’t? “What right,” I thought, “does the old guy have to make any other guy jump? The little old dot-and-carry-one! Who is he? If he asks me to jump, I won’t do it, period, and I don’t care who he thinks he is.” The bridge, as I said, was arched and covered in a pretty ridiculous way, and there was a really uncomfortable echo there all the time—an echo that I had never noticed so clearly as when I said the last four words of my remark.

But what I said, or what I thought, or what I heard, occupied only an instant. In less than five seconds from his starting, my poor Toby had taken the leap. I saw him run nimbly, and spring grandly from the floor of the bridge, cutting the most awful flourishes with his legs as he went up. I saw him high in the air, pigeon-winging it to admiration just over the top of the stile; and of course I thought it an unusually singular thing that he did not continue to go over. But the whole leap was the affair of a moment, and, before I had a chance to make any profound reflections, down came Mr. Dammit on the flat of his back, on the same side of the stile from which he had started. At the same instant I saw the old gentleman limping off at the top of his speed, having caught and wrapt up in his apron something that fell heavily into it from the darkness of the arch just over the turnstile. At all this I was much astonished; but I had no leisure to think, for Dammit lay particularly still, and I concluded that his feelings had been hurt, and that he stood in need of my assistance. I hurried up to him and found that he had received what might be termed a serious injury. The truth is, he had been deprived of his head, which after a close search I could not find anywhere; so I determined to take him home and send for the homœopathists. In the meantime a thought struck me, and I threw open an adjacent window of the bridge, when the sad truth flashed upon me at once. About five feet just above the top of the turnstile, and crossing the arch of the foot-path so as to constitute a brace, there extended a flat iron bar, lying with its breadth horizontally, and forming one of a series that served to strengthen the structure throughout its extent. With the edge of this brace it appeared evident that the neck of my unfortunate friend had come precisely in contact.

But what I said, or what I thought, or what I heard only took a moment. In less than five seconds after he started, my poor Toby had taken the leap. I saw him run swiftly and jump grandly from the floor of the bridge, flailing his legs in the air as he went up. I saw him soaring high, gliding beautifully just over the top of the stile; and of course, I thought it was pretty strange that he didn’t keep going over. But the whole leap happened in an instant, and before I had a chance to think deeply, Mr. Dammit fell flat on his back on the same side of the stile from which he had started. At that moment, I noticed the old gentleman rushing away as fast as he could, having caught and wrapped up something heavy in his apron that had fallen into it from the darkness of the arch just above the turnstile. I was quite shocked by all this; but I didn't have time to think, because Dammit was lying unusually still, and I assumed he was hurt and needed my help. I hurried over to him and discovered that he had sustained what could be called a serious injury. The truth is, he had lost his head, which I couldn’t find after searching carefully; so I decided to take him home and call for the homeopaths. In the meantime, an idea came to me, and I opened a nearby window of the bridge when the sad truth hit me all at once. About five feet above the top of the turnstile, there was a flat iron bar running horizontally across the arch of the footpath, acting as a brace to strengthen the structure. It was clear that the edge of this brace had made direct contact with the neck of my unfortunate friend.

He did not long survive his terrible loss. The homœopathists did not give him little enough physic, and what little they did give him he hesitated to take. So in the end he grew worse, and at length died, a lesson to all riotous livers. I bedewed his grave with my tears, worked a bar sinister on his family escutcheon, and, for the general expenses of his funeral, sent in my very moderate bill to the transcendentalists. The scoundrels refused to pay it, so I had Mr. Dammit dug up at once, and sold him for dog’s meat.

He didn’t live long after his terrible loss. The homeopaths didn’t give him enough medicine, and even what little they did give him, he was reluctant to take. So, in the end, he got worse and eventually died, serving as a warning to all those who live excessively. I wept at his grave, tarnished his family crest, and sent my very reasonable bill for his funeral expenses to the transcendentalists. The scoundrels refused to pay it, so I had Mr. Dammit dug up right away and sold him for dog food.

THOU ART THE MAN

I will now play the Oedipus to the Rattleborough enigma. I will expound to you—as I alone can—the secret of the enginery that effected the Rattleborough miracle—the one, the true, the admitted, the undisputed, the indisputable miracle, which put a definite end to infidelity among the Rattleburghers and converted to the orthodoxy of the grandames all the carnal-minded who had ventured to be sceptical before.

I’m about to solve the Rattleborough mystery like Oedipus did. I will reveal to you—because I’m the only one who can—the secret behind the machinery that created the Rattleborough miracle—the one, the true, the accepted, the undisputed miracle that finally put an end to disbelief among the Rattleburghers and converted all the doubters into the traditional beliefs of the grandmothers.

This event—which I should be sorry to discuss in a tone of unsuitable levity—occurred in the summer of 18—. Mr. Barnabas Shuttleworthy—one of the wealthiest and most respectable citizens of the borough—had been missing for several days under circumstances which gave rise to suspicion of foul play. Mr. Shuttleworthy had set out from Rattleborough very early one Saturday morning, on horseback, with the avowed intention of proceeding to the city of ——, about fifteen miles distant, and of returning the night of the same day. Two hours after his departure, however, his horse returned without him, and without the saddle-bags which had been strapped on his back at starting. The animal was wounded, too, and covered with mud. These circumstances naturally gave rise to much alarm among the friends of the missing man; and when it was found, on Sunday morning, that he had not yet made his appearance, the whole borough arose en masse to go and look for his body.

This event—which I would regret discussing in a tone that's too lighthearted—took place in the summer of 18—. Mr. Barnabas Shuttleworthy—one of the wealthiest and most respected citizens of the borough—had been missing for several days under circumstances that raised suspicion of foul play. Mr. Shuttleworthy had set off from Rattleborough very early one Saturday morning, on horseback, intending to travel to the city of ——, about fifteen miles away, and return that same night. However, two hours after he left, his horse came back without him, and without the saddle-bags that had been strapped to its back when he started. The horse was injured, too, and covered in mud. These circumstances understandably caused a lot of alarm among Mr. Shuttleworthy's friends; and when it was discovered on Sunday morning that he still hadn't shown up, the entire borough came together to search for his body.

The foremost and most energetic in instituting this search was the bosom friend of Mr. Shuttleworthy—a Mr. Charles Goodfellow, or, as he was universally called, “Charley Goodfellow,” or “Old Charley Goodfellow.” Now, whether it is a marvellous coincidence, or whether it is that the name itself has an imperceptible effect upon the character, I have never yet been able to ascertain; but the fact is unquestionable, that there never yet was any person named Charles who was not an open, manly, honest, good-natured, and frank-hearted fellow, with a rich, clear voice, that did you good to hear it, and an eye that looked you always straight in the face, as much as to say: “I have a clear conscience myself, am afraid of no man, and am altogether above doing a mean action.” And thus all the hearty, careless, “walking gentlemen” of the stage are very certain to be called Charles.

The most enthusiastic person in starting this search was Mr. Shuttleworthy's close friend, Mr. Charles Goodfellow, or, as everyone called him, “Charley Goodfellow” or “Old Charley Goodfellow.” Now, whether it’s just a strange coincidence or if the name itself has some subtle impact on a person’s character, I can’t quite figure it out; but it’s clear that every person named Charles has been an open, manly, honest, good-natured, and straightforward guy, with a rich, clear voice that’s a pleasure to listen to, and an eye that looks you right in the face, as if to say: “I have a clear conscience, fear no man, and I’m definitely not the type to do anything petty.” So, it’s no surprise that all the brave, carefree “gentlemen” in plays are often named Charles.

Now, “Old Charley Goodfellow,” although he had been in Rattleborough not longer than six months or thereabouts, and although nobody knew any thing about him before he came to settle in the neighborhood, had experienced no difficulty in the world in making the acquaintance of all the respectable people in the borough. Not a man of them but would have taken his bare word for a thousand at any moment; and as for the women, there is no saying what they would not have done to oblige him. And all this came of his having been christened Charles, and of his possessing, in consequence, that ingenuous face which is proverbially the very “best letter of recommendation.”

Now, “Old Charley Goodfellow,” even though he had only been in Rattleborough for about six months and nobody knew anything about him before he moved to the area, had no trouble at all getting to know all the respectable people in town. Not a single one of them would hesitate to take his word for a thousand at any time, and as for the women, who knows what they wouldn't do to help him out? This was all because he was named Charles and he had, as a result, that honest face that’s famously the “best letter of recommendation.”

I have already said that Mr. Shuttleworthy was one of the most respectable and, undoubtedly, he was the most wealthy man in Rattleborough, while “Old Charley Goodfellow” was upon as intimate terms with him as if he had been his own brother. The two old gentlemen were next-door neighbours, and, although Mr. Shuttleworthy seldom, if ever, visited “Old Charley,” and never was known to take a meal in his house, still this did not prevent the two friends from being exceedingly intimate, as I have just observed; for “Old Charley” never let a day pass without stepping in three or four times to see how his neighbour came on, and very often he would stay to breakfast or tea, and almost always to dinner, and then the amount of wine that was made way with by the two cronies at a sitting, it would really be a difficult thing to ascertain. “Old Charleys” favorite beverage was Chateau-Margaux, and it appeared to do Mr. Shuttleworthy’s heart good to see the old fellow swallow it, as he did, quart after quart; so that, one day, when the wine was in and the wit as a natural consequence, somewhat out, he said to his crony, as he slapped him upon the back—“I tell you what it is, ‘Old Charley,’ you are, by all odds, the heartiest old fellow I ever came across in all my born days; and, since you love to guzzle the wine at that fashion, I’ll be darned if I don’t have to make thee a present of a big box of the Chateau-Margaux. Od rot me,”—(Mr. Shuttleworthy had a sad habit of swearing, although he seldom went beyond “Od rot me,” or “By gosh,” or “By the jolly golly,”)—“Od rot me,” says he, “if I don’t send an order to town this very afternoon for a double box of the best that can be got, and I’ll make ye a present of it, I will!—ye needn’t say a word now—I will, I tell ye, and there’s an end of it; so look out for it—it will come to hand some of these fine days, precisely when ye are looking for it the least!” I mention this little bit of liberality on the part of Mr. Shuttleworthy, just by way of showing you how very intimate an understanding existed between the two friends.

I’ve already mentioned that Mr. Shuttleworthy was one of the most respectable and definitely the richest man in Rattleborough, while “Old Charley Goodfellow” was on such close terms with him that they might as well have been brothers. The two old gentlemen were next-door neighbors, and even though Mr. Shuttleworthy rarely, if ever, visited “Old Charley,” and was never known to have a meal in his house, that didn’t stop them from being extremely close, as I noted earlier. “Old Charley” made it a point to drop by three or four times a day to check on his neighbor, and he often stayed for breakfast or tea, and almost always for dinner. The amount of wine the two friends could get through in one sitting would be really hard to calculate. “Old Charley’s” drink of choice was Chateau-Margaux, and it seemed to delight Mr. Shuttleworthy to see the old guy drink it down, quart after quart. So, one day, after a few glasses and with the wine flowing and wit somewhat diminished, he slapped his friend on the back and said, “I’ll tell you what, ‘Old Charley,’ you’re definitely the most cheerful old guy I’ve ever met in my life; and since you enjoy guzzling wine like that, I swear I’m going to get you a big box of Chateau-Margaux as a gift. Od rot me,”—(Mr. Shuttleworthy had a terrible habit of swearing, though he usually stuck to “Od rot me,” or “By gosh,” or “By the jolly golly,”)—“Od rot me,” he said, “if I don’t place an order in town this very afternoon for a double box of the best they have, and I’ll gift it to you, I will!—you don’t need to say anything now—I will, I tell you, and that’s that; so expect it—it’ll show up when you least expect it!” I bring up this little act of generosity from Mr. Shuttleworthy just to illustrate how close the friendship was between the two.

Well, on the Sunday morning in question, when it came to be fairly understood that Mr. Shuttleworthy had met with foul play, I never saw any one so profoundly affected as “Old Charley Goodfellow.” When he first heard that the horse had come home without his master, and without his master’s saddle-bags, and all bloody from a pistol-shot, that had gone clean through and through the poor animal’s chest without quite killing him; when he heard all this, he turned as pale as if the missing man had been his own dear brother or father, and shivered and shook all over as if he had had a fit of the ague.

Well, on that Sunday morning, when it became clear that Mr. Shuttleworthy had fallen victim to foul play, I had never seen anyone so deeply affected as “Old Charley Goodfellow.” When he first heard that the horse had returned without his master, without his master’s saddle-bags, and covered in blood from a gunshot wound that had gone clean through the poor animal’s chest without actually killing him; upon hearing all this, he turned as pale as if the missing man had been his beloved brother or father, and he trembled all over as if he had just had a seizure.

At first he was too much overpowered with grief to be able to do any thing at all, or to concert upon any plan of action; so that for a long time he endeavored to dissuade Mr. Shuttleworthy’s other friends from making a stir about the matter, thinking it best to wait awhile—say for a week or two, or a month, or two—to see if something wouldn’t turn up, or if Mr. Shuttleworthy wouldn’t come in the natural way, and explain his reasons for sending his horse on before. I dare say you have often observed this disposition to temporize, or to procrastinate, in people who are labouring under any very poignant sorrow. Their powers of mind seem to be rendered torpid, so that they have a horror of any thing like action, and like nothing in the world so well as to lie quietly in bed and “nurse their grief,” as the old ladies express it—that is to say, ruminate over the trouble.

At first, he was so overwhelmed with grief that he couldn’t do anything at all or come up with any plan of action. For a long time, he tried to dissuade Mr. Shuttleworthy’s other friends from making a fuss about it, thinking it would be best to wait for a while—maybe a week or two, or a month or two—to see if something would come up, or if Mr. Shuttleworthy would eventually return and explain why he sent his horse ahead. I’m sure you’ve noticed this tendency to delay or procrastinate in people who are dealing with deep sorrow. Their mental faculties seem to become dull, leaving them averse to any kind of action, and they often prefer to lie quietly in bed and "nurse their grief," as the older generations say—that is to say, dwell on their troubles.

The people of Rattleborough had, indeed, so high an opinion of the wisdom and discretion of “Old Charley,” that the greater part of them felt disposed to agree with him, and not make a stir in the business “until something should turn up,” as the honest old gentleman worded it; and I believe that, after all this would have been the general determination, but for the very suspicious interference of Mr. Shuttleworthy’s nephew, a young man of very dissipated habits, and otherwise of rather bad character. This nephew, whose name was Pennifeather, would listen to nothing like reason in the matter of “lying quiet,” but insisted upon making immediate search for the “corpse of the murdered man.” This was the expression he employed; and Mr. Goodfellow acutely remarked at the time, that it was “a singular expression, to say no more.” This remark of “Old Charley’s,” too, had great effect upon the crowd; and one of the party was heard to ask, very impressively, “how it happened that young Mr. Pennifeather was so intimately cognizant of all the circumstances connected with his wealthy uncle’s disappearance, as to feel authorized to assert, distinctly and unequivocally, that his uncle was ‘a murdered man.’” Hereupon some little squibbing and bickering occurred among various members of the crowd, and especially between “Old Charley” and Mr. Pennifeather—although this latter occurrence was, indeed, by no means a novelty, for little good-will had subsisted between the parties for the last three or four months; and matters had even gone so far that Mr. Pennifeather had actually knocked down his uncle’s friend for some alleged excess of liberty that the latter had taken in the uncle’s house, of which the nephew was an inmate. Upon this occasion “Old Charley” is said to have behaved with exemplary moderation and Christian charity. He arose from the blow, adjusted his clothes, and made no attempt at retaliation at all—merely muttering a few words about “taking summary vengeance at the first convenient opportunity,”—a natural and very justifiable ebullition of anger, which meant nothing, however, and, beyond doubt, was no sooner given vent to than forgotten.

The people of Rattleborough had such a high opinion of the wisdom and judgment of "Old Charley" that most of them felt inclined to agree with him and not cause a fuss in the situation "until something turned up," as the honest old gentleman put it. I believe that, after all, this would have been the general consensus if it weren't for the very suspicious interference of Mr. Shuttleworthy’s nephew, a young man with a wild lifestyle and a rather bad reputation. This nephew, named Pennifeather, wouldn’t listen to any reason about "laying low," but insisted on immediately searching for the "corpse of the murdered man." That was the phrase he used, and Mr. Goodfellow pointed out at the time that it was "a strange expression, to say the least." This remark from "Old Charley" had a significant impact on the crowd, and one person was heard to ask, quite pointedly, "how did young Mr. Pennifeather know so much about the circumstances surrounding his wealthy uncle's disappearance that he felt justified in claiming, clearly and definitively, that his uncle was ‘a murdered man?’" This led to some bickering among various members of the crowd, especially between "Old Charley" and Mr. Pennifeather—though this wasn’t new, as there had been little goodwill between them for the last three or four months. Tensions ran high to the point that Mr. Pennifeather had actually punched his uncle’s friend over some supposed offense the latter had committed in the uncle’s house, where Pennifeather was living. On this occasion, "Old Charley" is said to have reacted with remarkable restraint and generosity. He got up from the blow, straightened his clothes, and made no attempt to retaliate—just muttering a few words about "taking swift revenge at the first opportunity," which was a natural and understandable outburst of anger, but meant nothing and was likely forgotten as soon as it was said.

However these matters may be (which have no reference to the point now at issue), it is quite certain that the people of Rattleborough, principally through the persuasion of Mr. Pennifeather, came at length to the determination of dispersion over the adjacent country in search of the missing Mr. Shuttleworthy. I say they came to this determination in the first instance. After it had been fully resolved that a search should be made, it was considered almost a matter of course that the seekers should disperse—that is to say, distribute themselves in parties—for the more thorough examination of the region round about. I forget, however, by what ingenious train of reasoning it was that “Old Charley” finally convinced the assembly that this was the most injudicious plan that could be pursued. Convince them, however, he did—all except Mr. Pennifeather, and, in the end, it was arranged that a search should be instituted, carefully and very thoroughly, by the burghers en masse, “Old Charley” himself leading the way.

Regardless of the details that don't relate to the current issue, it's clear that the people of Rattleborough, mainly influenced by Mr. Pennifeather, ultimately decided to spread out across the nearby areas to search for the missing Mr. Shuttleworthy. I mention they made this decision initially. Once it was fully agreed that a search would take place, it seemed almost obvious that the searchers should split up—that is, form groups—to more thoroughly explore the surrounding region. However, I can't recall the clever reasoning “Old Charley” used to persuade the group that this was the worst plan they could follow. But he convinced them—everyone except Mr. Pennifeather, and in the end, it was decided that a thorough search would be carried out by the townspeople collectively, with “Old Charley” himself leading the effort.

As for the matter of that, there could have been no better pioneer than “Old Charley,” whom everybody knew to have the eye of a lynx; but, although he led them into all manner of out-of-the-way holes and corners, by routes that nobody had ever suspected of existing in the neighbourhood, and although the search was incessantly kept up day and night for nearly a week, still no trace of Mr. Shuttleworthy could be discovered. When I say no trace, however, I must not be understood to speak literally; for trace, to some extent, there certainly was. The poor gentleman had been tracked, by his horse’s shoes (which were peculiar), to a spot about three miles to the east of the borough, on the main road leading to the city. Here the track made off into a by-path through a piece of woodland—the path coming out again into the main road, and cutting off about half a mile of the regular distance. Following the shoe-marks down this lane, the party came at length to a pool of stagnant water, half hidden by the brambles, to the right of the lane, and opposite this pool all vestige of the track was lost sight of. It appeared, however, that a struggle of some nature had here taken place, and it seemed as if some large and heavy body, much larger and heavier than a man, had been drawn from the by-path to the pool. This latter was carefully dragged twice, but nothing was found; and the party was upon the point of going away, in despair of coming to any result, when Providence suggested to Mr. Goodfellow the expediency of draining the water off altogether. This project was received with cheers, and many high compliments to “Old Charley” upon his sagacity and consideration. As many of the burghers had brought spades with them, supposing that they might possibly be called upon to disinter a corpse, the drain was easily and speedily effected; and no sooner was the bottom visible, than right in the middle of the mud that remained was discovered a black silk velvet waistcoat, which nearly every one present immediately recognized as the property of Mr. Pennifeather. This waistcoat was much torn and stained with blood, and there were several persons among the party who had a distinct remembrance of its having been worn by its owner on the very morning of Mr. Shuttleworthy’s departure for the city; while there were others, again, ready to testify upon oath, if required, that Mr. P. did not wear the garment in question at any period during the remainder of that memorable day, nor could any one be found to say that he had seen it upon Mr. P.‘s person at any period at all subsequent to Mr. Shuttleworthy’s disappearance.

As for that issue, there couldn’t have been a better guide than “Old Charley,” who everyone knew had the keenest of eyes. Although he led them to all sorts of hidden spots and paths no one ever suspected existed nearby, and despite the relentless search day and night for almost a week, no trace of Mr. Shuttleworthy could be found. When I say no trace, I don’t mean it literally; there was some evidence. The poor man had been tracked by his horse’s unique shoe prints to a location about three miles east of the town, along the main road heading to the city. Here, the trail veered off into a side path through some woods—the path rejoining the main road and cutting off about half a mile from the usual distance. Following the shoe prints down this lane, the group eventually reached a pool of stagnant water, partly concealed by brambles, and across from this pool, all traces of the track disappeared. It appeared that some kind of struggle had occurred here, and it seemed that a large and heavy object, much bigger and heavier than a person, had been pulled from the side path into the pool. The pool was carefully dragged twice, but nothing was found; just as the group was about to leave, feeling hopeless about finding any answers, Mr. Goodfellow had the idea to drain the water completely. This suggestion was met with cheers, along with many compliments for “Old Charley” on his smart thinking. Since many of the townspeople had brought spades, anticipating they might need to unearth a body, the draining was done quickly and easily; as soon as the bottom came into view, a black silk velvet waistcoat was discovered right in the middle of the remaining mud. Almost everyone present immediately recognized it as belonging to Mr. Pennifeather. The waistcoat was heavily torn and stained with blood, and several people in the group distinctly remembered seeing it worn by its owner the very morning Mr. Shuttleworthy left for the city; meanwhile, others were ready to swear that Mr. P. didn’t wear that particular garment at any time during the rest of that unforgettable day, nor could anyone be found who had seen it on Mr. P. at any point after Mr. Shuttleworthy’s disappearance.

Matters now wore a very serious aspect for Mr. Pennifeather, and it was observed, as an indubitable confirmation of the suspicions which were excited against him, that he grew exceedingly pale, and when asked what he had to say for himself, was utterly incapable of saying a word. Hereupon, the few friends his riotous mode of living had left him deserted him at once to a man, and were even more clamorous than his ancient and avowed enemies for his instantaneous arrest. But, on the other hand, the magnanimity of Mr. Goodfellow shone forth with only the more brilliant lustre through contrast. He made a warm and intensely eloquent defence of Mr. Pennifeather, in which he alluded more than once to his own sincere forgiveness of that wild young gentleman—“the heir of the worthy Mr. Shuttleworthy,”—for the insult which he (the young gentleman) had, no doubt in the heat of passion, thought proper to put upon him (Mr. Goodfellow). “He forgave him for it,” he said, “from the very bottom of his heart; and for himself (Mr. Goodfellow), so far from pushing the suspicious circumstances to extremity, which he was sorry to say, really had arisen against Mr. Pennifeather, he (Mr. Goodfellow) would make every exertion in his power, would employ all the little eloquence in his possession to—to—to—soften down, as much as he could conscientiously do so, the worst features of this really exceedingly perplexing piece of business.”

Things had taken a serious turn for Mr. Pennifeather, and it was seen as undeniable proof of the suspicions against him that he turned extremely pale. When asked to defend himself, he couldn’t find a word to say. Consequently, the few friends he had left from his reckless lifestyle abandoned him instantly, and even they were louder than his long-time enemies in calling for his immediate arrest. On the other hand, Mr. Goodfellow’s nobility shone even brighter in contrast. He passionately defended Mr. Pennifeather, referencing his own genuine forgiveness of the young gentleman—“the heir of the worthy Mr. Shuttleworthy”—for the insult that he (the young gentleman) had, no doubt in a fit of anger, directed at him (Mr. Goodfellow). “He forgave him from the bottom of his heart,” he declared, “and as for me (Mr. Goodfellow), rather than amplify the suspicious circumstances, which I regret to say have truly arisen against Mr. Pennifeather, I will do everything I can and use all the charm I possess to— to— to—soften the worst aspects of this very complicated situation as much as I can, while remaining true to my conscience.”

Mr. Goodfellow went on for some half hour longer in this strain, very much to the credit both of his head and of his heart; but your warm-hearted people are seldom apposite in their observations—they run into all sorts of blunders, contre-temps and mal apropos-isms, in the hot-headedness of their zeal to serve a friend—thus, often with the kindest intentions in the world, doing infinitely more to prejudice his cause than to advance it.

Mr. Goodfellow continued like this for another half hour, which was quite commendable for both his mind and his character; however, people with warm hearts are rarely spot-on with their comments—they tend to make all sorts of mistakes, awkward situations, and inappropriate remarks in their eagerness to help a friend—so, often with the best intentions, they end up hindering his cause more than helping it.

So, in the present instance, it turned out with all the eloquence of “Old Charley”; for, although he laboured earnestly in behalf of the suspected, yet it so happened, somehow or other, that every syllable he uttered of which the direct but unwitting tendency was not to exalt the speaker in the good opinion of his audience, had the effect to deepen the suspicion already attached to the individual whose cause he pleaded, and to arouse against him the fury of the mob.

So, in this case, it unfolded with all the charm of “Old Charley”; because, even though he worked hard to defend the accused, somehow every word he said, which unintentionally didn’t boost his standing in the eyes of the crowd, only increased the suspicion surrounding the person he was trying to help and stirred up the crowd's anger against him.

One of the most unaccountable errors committed by the orator was his allusion to the suspected as “the heir of the worthy old gentleman Mr. Shuttleworthy.” The people had really never thought of this before. They had only remembered certain threats of disinheritance uttered a year or two previously by the uncle (who had no living relative except the nephew), and they had, therefore, always looked upon this disinheritance as a matter that was settled—so single-minded a race of beings were the Rattleburghers; but the remark of “Old Charley” brought them at once to a consideration of this point, and thus gave them to see the possibility of the threats having been nothing more than a threat. And straightway hereupon, arose the natural question of cui bono?—a question that tended even more than the waistcoat to fasten the terrible crime upon the young man. And here, lest I may be misunderstood, permit me to digress for one moment merely to observe that the exceedingly brief and simple Latin phrase which I have employed, is invariably mistranslated and misconceived. “Cui bono?” in all the crack novels and elsewhere,—in those of Mrs. Gore, for example, (the author of “Cecil,”) a lady who quotes all tongues from the Chaldaean to Chickasaw, and is helped to her learning, “as needed,” upon a systematic plan, by Mr. Beckford,—in all the crack novels, I say, from those of Bulwer and Dickens to those of Bulwer and Dickens to those of Turnapenny and Ainsworth, the two little Latin words cui bono are rendered “to what purpose?” or, (as if quo bono,) “to what good.” Their true meaning, nevertheless, is “for whose advantage.” Cui, to whom; bono, is it for a benefit. It is a purely legal phrase, and applicable precisely in cases such as we have now under consideration, where the probability of the doer of a deed hinges upon the probability of the benefit accruing to this individual or to that from the deed’s accomplishment. Now in the present instance, the question cui bono? very pointedly implicated Mr. Pennifeather. His uncle had threatened him, after making a will in his favour, with disinheritance. But the threat had not been actually kept; the original will, it appeared, had not been altered. Had it been altered, the only supposable motive for murder on the part of the suspected would have been the ordinary one of revenge; and even this would have been counteracted by the hope of reinstation into the good graces of the uncle. But the will being unaltered, while the threat to alter remained suspended over the nephew’s head, there appears at once the very strongest possible inducement for the atrocity, and so concluded, very sagaciously, the worthy citizens of the borough of Rattle.

One of the biggest mistakes the speaker made was referring to the suspect as “the heir of the respectable old man Mr. Shuttleworthy.” People had never thought about this before. They only remembered certain threats of disinheritance made a year or two earlier by the uncle (who had no living relatives except the nephew), so they always considered this disinheritance as a done deal—such straightforward people were the Rattleburghers. However, the comment from “Old Charley” made them reconsider this point, suggesting that the threats might have been just that—empty threats. This immediately raised the natural question of cui bono?—a question that, more than the waistcoat, made it seem even more likely that the young man was guilty of the terrible crime. And here, to avoid any misunderstanding, let me briefly note that the very short and simple Latin phrase I used is often misinterpreted and misunderstood. “Cui bono?” in all those popular novels and elsewhere—in those of Mrs. Gore, for example (the author of “Cecil”), a woman who quotes languages from Chaldaean to Chickasaw, and learns “as needed,” in a systematic way from Mr. Beckford—in all those novels, I say, from Bulwer and Dickens to Turnapenny and Ainsworth, the two Latin words cui bono are translated as “to what purpose?” or, (as if quo bono), “to what good.” Their true meaning, however, is “for whose advantage.” Cui means to whom; bono means is it for a benefit. It’s a legal phrase, used specifically in cases like the one we’re discussing now, where the likelihood of someone committing an act depends on the benefit they would gain from doing it. In this case, the question of cui bono? clearly pointed to Mr. Pennifeather. His uncle had threatened him with disinheritance after making a will in his favor. But the threat was never actually enacted; it turned out the original will hadn’t been changed. If it had been changed, the only motive for murder on the part of the suspect would have been the usual one of revenge; even that would have been countered by the hope of being restored to the uncle's good graces. But since the will remained unchanged while the threat of alteration hung over the nephew's head, there was an incredibly strong motive for the crime, and so concluded, very wisely, the good citizens of the borough of Rattle.

Mr. Pennifeather was, accordingly, arrested upon the spot, and the crowd, after some further search, proceeded homeward, having him in custody. On the route, however, another circumstance occurred tending to confirm the suspicion entertained. Mr. Goodfellow, whose zeal led him to be always a little in advance of the party, was seen suddenly to run forward a few paces, stoop, and then apparently to pick up some small object from the grass. Having quickly examined it he was observed, too, to make a sort of half attempt at concealing it in his coat pocket; but this action was noticed, as I say, and consequently prevented, when the object picked up was found to be a Spanish knife which a dozen persons at once recognized as belonging to Mr. Pennifeather. Moreover, his initials were engraved upon the handle. The blade of this knife was open and bloody.

Mr. Pennifeather was promptly arrested on the spot, and the crowd, after searching a bit more, started heading home with him in custody. However, on the way, another incident happened that added to their suspicions. Mr. Goodfellow, whose enthusiasm often had him ahead of the group, was seen suddenly running a few steps forward, bending down, and apparently picking up something small from the grass. After quickly checking it out, he was noticed trying to sort of hide it in his coat pocket; but this action was seen, and as a result, it was stopped when the object he picked up turned out to be a Spanish knife that a dozen people immediately recognized as belonging to Mr. Pennifeather. Moreover, his initials were engraved on the handle. The blade of this knife was open and bloody.

No doubt now remained of the guilt of the nephew, and immediately upon reaching Rattleborough he was taken before a magistrate for examination.

No doubt remained about the nephew's guilt, and as soon as they arrived in Rattleborough, he was brought before a magistrate for questioning.

Here matters again took a most unfavourable turn. The prisoner, being questioned as to his whereabouts on the morning of Mr. Shuttleworthy’s disappearance, had absolutely the audacity to acknowledge that on that very morning he had been out with his rifle deer-stalking, in the immediate neighbourhood of the pool where the blood-stained waistcoat had been discovered through the sagacity of Mr. Goodfellow.

Here, things took a really bad turn again. The prisoner, when asked where he had been on the morning Mr. Shuttleworthy went missing, had the audacity to admit that on that very morning he had been out with his rifle, tracking deer, not far from the spot where Mr. Goodfellow had cleverly found the blood-stained waistcoat.

This latter now came forward, and, with tears in his eyes, asked permission to be examined. He said that a stern sense of the duty he owed his Maker, not less than his fellow-men, would permit him no longer to remain silent. Hitherto, the sincerest affection for the young man (notwithstanding the latter’s ill-treatment of himself, Mr. Goodfellow) had induced him to make every hypothesis which imagination could suggest, by way of endeavoring to account for what appeared suspicious in the circumstances that told so seriously against Mr. Pennifeather, but these circumstances were now altogether too convincing—too damning; he would hesitate no longer—he would tell all he knew, although his heart (Mr. Goodfellow’s) should absolutely burst asunder in the effort. He then went on to state that, on the afternoon of the day previous to Mr. Shuttleworthy’s departure for the city, that worthy old gentleman had mentioned to his nephew, in his hearing (Mr. Goodfellow’s), that his object in going to town on the morrow was to make a deposit of an unusually large sum of money in the “Farmers’ and Mechanics’ Bank,” and that, then and there, the said Mr. Shuttleworthy had distinctly avowed to the said nephew his irrevocable determination of rescinding the will originally made, and of cutting him off with a shilling. He (the witness) now solemnly called upon the accused to state whether what he (the witness) had just stated was or was not the truth in every substantial particular. Much to the astonishment of every one present, Mr. Pennifeather frankly admitted that it was.

The latter stepped forward, tears in his eyes, and asked to be examined. He explained that a strong sense of duty to both his Creator and fellow humans wouldn’t allow him to stay silent any longer. Until now, his deep affection for the young man—despite the way Mr. Pennifeather had treated him—had led him to come up with every possible explanation he could imagine to rationalize the suspicious circumstances surrounding Mr. Pennifeather. But those circumstances were now far too convincing—too damning; he wouldn’t hold back any longer—he would share everything he knew, even if it felt like his heart would burst in the process. He then described how, on the afternoon before Mr. Shuttleworthy’s departure for the city, the respected old gentleman had told his nephew, in front of him, that the reason for going to town the next day was to deposit a particularly large sum of money in the “Farmers’ and Mechanics’ Bank.” At that time, Mr. Shuttleworthy had clearly declared to his nephew his unchangeable decision to revoke the will he had made and to cut him off with just a shilling. The witness now formally called on the accused to confirm whether what he had just said was completely true. To everyone's astonishment, Mr. Pennifeather openly admitted that it was.

The magistrate now considered it his duty to send a couple of constables to search the chamber of the accused in the house of his uncle. From this search they almost immediately returned with the well-known steel-bound, russet leather pocket-book which the old gentleman had been in the habit of carrying for years. Its valuable contents, however, had been abstracted, and the magistrate in vain endeavored to extort from the prisoner the use which had been made of them, or the place of their concealment. Indeed, he obstinately denied all knowledge of the matter. The constables, also, discovered, between the bed and sacking of the unhappy man, a shirt and neck-handkerchief both marked with the initials of his name, and both hideously besmeared with the blood of the victim.

The magistrate felt it was his responsibility to send a couple of police officers to search the room of the accused at his uncle's house. They quickly returned with the familiar steel-bound, brown leather wallet that the old man had carried for years. However, its valuable contents were missing, and the magistrate futilely tried to get the prisoner to reveal how they had been used or where they were hidden. The prisoner stubbornly claimed he knew nothing about it. The officers also found, between the bed and mattress of the unfortunate man, a shirt and handkerchief both marked with his initials and both gruesomely stained with the victim's blood.

At this juncture, it was announced that the horse of the murdered man had just expired in the stable from the effects of the wound he had received, and it was proposed by Mr. Goodfellow that a post mortem examination of the beast should be immediately made, with the view, if possible, of discovering the ball. This was accordingly done; and, as if to demonstrate beyond a question the guilt of the accused, Mr. Goodfellow, after considerable searching in the cavity of the chest was enabled to detect and to pull forth a bullet of very extraordinary size, which, upon trial, was found to be exactly adapted to the bore of Mr. Pennifeather’s rifle, while it was far too large for that of any other person in the borough or its vicinity. To render the matter even surer yet, however, this bullet was discovered to have a flaw or seam at right angles to the usual suture, and upon examination, this seam corresponded precisely with an accidental ridge or elevation in a pair of moulds acknowledged by the accused himself to be his own property. Upon finding of this bullet, the examining magistrate refused to listen to any farther testimony, and immediately committed the prisoner for trial—declining resolutely to take any bail in the case, although against this severity Mr. Goodfellow very warmly remonstrated, and offered to become surety in whatever amount might be required. This generosity on the part of “Old Charley” was only in accordance with the whole tenor of his amiable and chivalrous conduct during the entire period of his sojourn in the borough of Rattle. In the present instance the worthy man was so entirely carried away by the excessive warmth of his sympathy, that he seemed to have quite forgotten, when he offered to go bail for his young friend, that he himself (Mr. Goodfellow) did not possess a single dollar’s worth of property upon the face of the earth.

At this point, it was announced that the horse of the murdered man had just died in the stable from the injury it had sustained, and Mr. Goodfellow suggested that a post-mortem examination of the animal should be done right away to see if they could find the bullet. This was carried out, and, to painfully highlight the guilt of the accused, Mr. Goodfellow, after a thorough search in the chest cavity, managed to locate and extract a bullet of remarkable size, which was found to perfectly match the bore of

The result of the committal may be readily foreseen. Mr. Pennifeather, amid the loud execrations of all Rattleborough, was brought to trial at the next criminal sessions, when the chain of circumstantial evidence (strengthened as it was by some additional damning facts, which Mr. Goodfellow’s sensitive conscientiousness forbade him to withhold from the court) was considered so unbroken and so thoroughly conclusive, that the jury, without leaving their seats, returned an immediate verdict of “Guilty of murder in the first degree.” Soon afterward the unhappy wretch received sentence of death, and was remanded to the county jail to await the inexorable vengeance of the law.

The outcome of the trial was pretty obvious. Mr. Pennifeather, amidst the loud outcry of everyone in Rattleborough, was put on trial at the next criminal session. The strong circumstantial evidence—bolstered by some additional incriminating facts that Mr. Goodfellow's sensitive conscience prevented him from keeping from the court—was seen as unbroken and completely convincing. The jury, without even leaving their seats, quickly returned a verdict of “Guilty of murder in the first degree.” Shortly after, the unfortunate man was sentenced to death and sent back to the county jail to await the relentless punishment of the law.

In the meantime, the noble behavior of “Old Charley Goodfellow,” had doubly endeared him to the honest citizens of the borough. He became ten times a greater favorite than ever, and, as a natural result of the hospitality with which he was treated, he relaxed, as it were, perforce, the extremely parsimonious habits which his poverty had hitherto impelled him to observe, and very frequently had little reunions at his own house, when wit and jollity reigned supreme—dampened a little, of course, by the occasional remembrance of the untoward and melancholy fate which impended over the nephew of the late lamented bosom friend of the generous host.

In the meantime, the noble actions of “Old Charley Goodfellow” had made him even more beloved by the honest citizens of the borough. He became ten times more popular than ever, and naturally, due to the warm hospitality he received, he relaxed his very frugal habits that his poverty had forced him to maintain. He often hosted small gatherings at his own home, where laughter and joy were in abundance—though occasionally tempered by the lingering reminder of the unfortunate and sad fate hanging over the nephew of his dearly departed close friend.

One fine day, this magnanimous old gentleman was agreeably surprised at the receipt of the following letter:

One fine day, this generous old man was pleasantly surprised to receive the following letter:

Charles Goodfellow, Esq., Rattleborough
From H.F.B. & Co.
Chat. Mar. A—No. 1.—6 doz. bottles (1/2 Gross)

“Charles Goodfellow, Esquire.
    “Dear Sir—In conformity with an order transmitted to our firm about two months since, by our esteemed correspondent, Mr. Barnabus Shuttleworthy, we have the honor of forwarding this morning, to your address, a double box of Chateau-Margaux of the antelope brand, violet seal. Box numbered and marked as per margin.

Charles Goodfellow, Esq., Rattleborough
From H.F.B. & Co.
Chat. Mar. A—No. 1.—6 dozen bottles (1/2 Gross)

“Charles Goodfellow, Esquire.
    “Dear Sir—Following an order sent to our company about two months ago by our valued correspondent, Mr. Barnabus Shuttleworthy, we are pleased to send you this morning a double box of Chateau-Margaux with the antelope brand and violet seal. The box is numbered and marked as noted in the margin.

“We remain, sir,        
“Your most ob’nt ser’ts,    
“HOGGS, FROGS, BOGS, & CO.

“We remain, sir,        
“Your most obedient servants,    
“HOGGS, FROGS, BOGS, & CO.

“City of—, June 21, 18—.
“P.S.—The box will reach you by wagon, on the day after your receipt of this letter. Our respects to Mr. Shuttleworthy.

“City of—, June 21, 18—.
“P.S.—The box will get to you by wagon the day after you receive this letter. Please give our regards to Mr. Shuttleworthy.

“H., F., B., & CO.”

“H., F., B., & CO.”

The fact is, that Mr. Goodfellow had, since the death of Mr. Shuttleworthy, given over all expectation of ever receiving the promised Chateau-Margaux; and he, therefore, looked upon it now as a sort of especial dispensation of Providence in his behalf. He was highly delighted, of course, and in the exuberance of his joy invited a large party of friends to a petit souper on the morrow, for the purpose of broaching the good old Mr. Shuttleworthy’s present. Not that he said any thing about “the good old Mr. Shuttleworthy” when he issued the invitations. The fact is, he thought much and concluded to say nothing at all. He did not mention to any one—if I remember aright—that he had received a present of Chateau-Margaux. He merely asked his friends to come and help him drink some, of a remarkable fine quality and rich flavour, that he had ordered up from the city a couple of months ago, and of which he would be in the receipt upon the morrow. I have often puzzled myself to imagine why it was that “Old Charley” came to the conclusion to say nothing about having received the wine from his old friend, but I could never precisely understand his reason for the silence, although he had some excellent and very magnanimous reason, no doubt.

The truth is, since Mr. Shuttleworthy's passing, Mr. Goodfellow had completely given up on ever receiving the promised Chateau-Margaux. Therefore, he now viewed it as a unique blessing from Providence just for him. Naturally, he was overjoyed and, in his excitement, invited a large group of friends to a small dinner the next day to celebrate the old Mr. Shuttleworthy’s gift. However, he didn’t mention “the good old Mr. Shuttleworthy” when sending out the invites. In fact, he thought a lot about it and decided to say nothing at all. I don’t think he told anyone—if I recall correctly—that he received a gift of Chateau-Margaux. He just asked his friends to come and help him drink some of a particularly fine quality and rich flavor that he had ordered from the city a couple of months ago and would have on hand the next day. I’ve often wondered why “Old Charley” decided not to mention that he got the wine from his old friend, but I could never quite figure out his reason for staying quiet, even though he must have had a really good and generous reason.

The morrow at length arrived, and with it a very large and highly respectable company at Mr. Goodfellow’s house. Indeed, half the borough was there,—I myself among the number,—but, much to the vexation of the host, the Chateau-Margaux did not arrive until a late hour, and when the sumptuous supper supplied by “Old Charley” had been done very ample justice by the guests. It came at length, however,—a monstrously big box of it there was, too—and as the whole party were in excessively good humor, it was decided, nem. con., that it should be lifted upon the table and its contents disembowelled forthwith.

The next day finally came, bringing with it a large and very respectable crowd at Mr. Goodfellow’s house. In fact, half the town was there, including me, but much to the host's annoyance, the Chateau-Margaux didn’t arrive until late, after the lavish dinner provided by “Old Charley” had already been enjoyed by the guests. It did arrive eventually—a ridiculously large box—and since everyone was in great spirits, it was unanimously decided to bring it to the table and open it right away.

No sooner said than done. I lent a helping hand; and, in a trice we had the box upon the table, in the midst of all the bottles and glasses, not a few of which were demolished in the scuffle. “Old Charley,” who was pretty much intoxicated, and excessively red in the face, now took a seat, with an air of mock dignity, at the head of the board, and thumped furiously upon it with a decanter, calling upon the company to keep order “during the ceremony of disinterring the treasure.”

As soon as I said it, I did it. I jumped in to help, and in no time we had the box on the table, surrounded by all the bottles and glasses, quite a few of which were broken in the chaos. "Old Charley," who was pretty drunk and very flushed in the face, took a seat with a fake sense of authority at the head of the table and banged on it with a decanter, demanding that everyone maintain order “during the ceremony of digging up the treasure.”

After some vociferation, quiet was at length fully restored, and, as very often happens in similar cases, a profound and remarkable silence ensued. Being then requested to force open the lid, I complied, of course, “with an infinite deal of pleasure.” I inserted a chisel, and giving it a few slight taps with a hammer, the top of the box flew suddenly off, and at the same instant, there sprang up into a sitting position, directly facing the host, the bruised, bloody, and nearly putrid corpse of the murdered Mr. Shuttleworthy himself. It gazed for a few seconds, fixedly and sorrowfully, with its decaying and lack-lustre eyes, full into the countenance of Mr. Goodfellow; uttered slowly, but clearly and impressively, the words—“Thou art the man!” and then, falling over the side of the chest as if thoroughly satisfied, stretched out its limbs quiveringly upon the table.

After a lot of noise, silence was finally restored, and, as often happens in these situations, a deep and significant quiet followed. When I was asked to force open the lid, I gladly agreed, “with immense pleasure.” I inserted a chisel and tapped it a few times with a hammer; the lid of the box suddenly flew off, and at that moment, the bruised, bloody, and nearly decayed corpse of the murdered Mr. Shuttleworthy sat up, directly facing the host. It stared for a few seconds, sorrowfully and intently, with its decaying, lifeless eyes fixed on Mr. Goodfellow's face, slowly but clearly uttering the words—“You are the one!” and then, as if completely satisfied, it fell over the side of the chest, stretching out its limbs quiveringly on the table.

The scene that ensued is altogether beyond description. The rush for the doors and windows was terrific, and many of the most robust men in the room fainted outright through sheer horror. But after the first wild, shrieking burst of affright, all eyes were directed to Mr. Goodfellow. If I live a thousand years, I can never forget the more than mortal agony which was depicted in that ghastly face of his, so lately rubicund with triumph and wine. For several minutes he sat rigidly as a statue of marble; his eyes seeming, in the intense vacancy of their gaze, to be turned inward and absorbed in the contemplation of his own miserable, murderous soul. At length their expression appeared to flash suddenly out into the external world, when, with a quick leap, he sprang from his chair, and falling heavily with his head and shoulders upon the table, and in contact with the corpse, poured out rapidly and vehemently a detailed confession of the hideous crime for which Mr. Pennifeather was then imprisoned and doomed to die.

The scene that followed is impossible to describe. The scramble for the doors and windows was overwhelming, and many of the strongest men in the room fainted from sheer terror. But after the initial chaotic burst of screams, everyone turned to Mr. Goodfellow. No matter how long I live, I'll never forget the unbearable agony on his face, which had so recently been flushed with triumph and wine. He sat there for several minutes, frozen like a marble statue; his eyes seemed vacant, lost in the torment of his own wretched, guilty soul. Eventually, his expression suddenly snapped back to reality, and with a quick movement, he jumped from his chair and collapsed heavily onto the table, right next to the corpse, and began to rapidly and passionately confess the horrific crime for which Mr. Pennifeather was imprisoned and facing execution.

What he recounted was in substance this:—He followed his victim to the vicinity of the pool; there shot his horse with a pistol; despatched its rider with the butt end; possessed himself of the pocket-book; and, supposing the horse dead, dragged it with great labour to the brambles by the pond. Upon his own beast he slung the corpse of Mr. Shuttleworthy, and thus bore it to a secure place of concealment a long distance off through the woods.

What he described was basically this: he tracked his victim to the area near the pool, shot his horse with a pistol, knocked out its rider with the butt of the gun, took the wallet, and, thinking the horse was dead, dragged it with a lot of effort to the bushes by the pond. He threw Mr. Shuttleworthy's body over his own horse and carried it to a safe hiding spot far away through the woods.

The waistcoat, the knife, the pocket-book, and bullet, had been placed by himself where found, with the view of avenging himself upon Mr. Pennifeather. He had also contrived the discovery of the stained handkerchief and shirt.

The waistcoat, the knife, the wallet, and the bullet were all placed by him where they were found, with the intention of getting back at Mr. Pennifeather. He had also set up the discovery of the blood-stained handkerchief and shirt.

Toward the end of the blood-chilling recital the words of the guilty wretch faltered and grew hollow. When the record was finally exhausted, he arose, staggered backward from the table, and fell—dead.

Toward the end of the terrifying story, the words of the guilty person trembled and became lifeless. When the account was finally finished, he stood up, stumbled back from the table, and collapsed—dead.


The means by which this happily-timed confession was extorted, although efficient, were simple indeed. Mr. Goodfellow’s excess of frankness had disgusted me, and excited my suspicions from the first. I was present when Mr. Pennifeather had struck him, and the fiendish expression which then arose upon his countenance, although momentary, assured me that his threat of vengeance would, if possible, be rigidly fulfilled. I was thus prepared to view the manoeuvering of “Old Charley” in a very different light from that in which it was regarded by the good citizens of Rattleborough. I saw at once that all the criminating discoveries arose, either directly or indirectly, from himself. But the fact which clearly opened my eyes to the true state of the case, was the affair of the bullet, found by Mr. G. in the carcass of the horse. I had not forgotten, although the Rattleburghers had, that there was a hole where the ball had entered the horse, and another where it went out. If it were found in the animal then, after having made its exit, I saw clearly that it must have been deposited by the person who found it. The bloody shirt and handkerchief confirmed the idea suggested by the bullet; for the blood on examination proved to be capital claret, and no more. When I came to think of these things, and also of the late increase of liberality and expenditure on the part of Mr. Goodfellow, I entertained a suspicion which was none the less strong because I kept it altogether to myself.

The way this well-timed confession was extracted, though effective, was quite simple. Mr. Goodfellow’s extreme honesty had disgusted me and raised my suspicions from the start. I was there when Mr. Pennifeather hit him, and the wicked look that crossed his face, though brief, convinced me that his threat of revenge would definitely be carried out if he could manage it. Because of this, I was ready to see "Old Charley's" actions in a much different light than the good people of Rattleborough did. I quickly realized that all the incriminating discoveries came, either directly or indirectly, from him. But what really opened my eyes to the real situation was the bullet found by Mr. G. in the horse's body. I hadn’t forgotten, even though the Rattleburghers had, that there was an entry wound where the bullet had gone into the horse and an exit wound where it had come out. If it was found in the animal, after having exited it, then it was clear to me that it had to have been placed there by the person who found it. The bloody shirt and handkerchief supported the idea suggested by the bullet because the blood, when tested, turned out to be just red wine and nothing more. As I thought about these things, along with Mr. Goodfellow’s recent increase in generosity and spending, I developed a suspicion that was no less strong just because I kept it entirely to myself.

In the meantime, I instituted a rigorous private search for the corpse of Mr. Shuttleworthy, and, for good reasons, searched in quarters as divergent as possible from those to which Mr. Goodfellow conducted his party. The result was that, after some days, I came across an old dry well, the mouth of which was nearly hidden by brambles; and here, at the bottom, I discovered what I sought.

In the meantime, I started a thorough private search for the body of Mr. Shuttleworthy and, for good reasons, looked in places that were as different as possible from where Mr. Goodfellow took his group. After a few days, I found an old dry well, almost covered by thorny bushes; and down at the bottom, I discovered what I was looking for.

Now it so happened that I had overheard the colloquy between the two cronies, when Mr. Goodfellow had contrived to cajole his host into the promise of a box of Chateaux-Margaux. Upon this hint I acted. I procured a stiff piece of whalebone, thrust it down the throat of the corpse, and deposited the latter in an old wine box—taking care so to double the body up as to double the whalebone with it. In this manner I had to press forcibly upon the lid to keep it down while I secured it with nails; and I anticipated, of course, that as soon as these latter were removed, the top would fly off and the body up.

Now, it just so happened that I overheard the conversation between the two friends when Mr. Goodfellow managed to persuade his host into promising a box of Chateaux-Margaux. Taking this hint, I acted. I got a stiff piece of whalebone, shoved it down the throat of the corpse, and placed the body into an old wine box—making sure to fold the body in such a way that the whalebone stayed with it. This meant I had to push hard on the lid to keep it closed while I nailed it down; naturally, I expected that as soon as these nails were removed, the top would fly off and the body would rise up.

Having thus arranged the box, I marked, numbered, and addressed it as already told; and then writing a letter in the name of the wine merchants with whom Mr. Shuttleworthy dealt, I gave instructions to my servant to wheel the box to Mr. Goodfellow’s door, in a barrow, at a given signal from myself. For the words which I intended the corpse to speak, I confidently depended upon my ventriloquial abilities; for their effect, I counted upon the conscience of the murderous wretch.

Having arranged the box, I marked, numbered, and addressed it as I mentioned earlier; then I wrote a letter in the name of the wine merchants Mr. Shuttleworthy worked with. I instructed my servant to wheel the box to Mr. Goodfellow’s door in a barrow when I gave him a signal. I was confident in my ventriloquism skills for the words I wanted the corpse to say; for their impact, I relied on the conscience of the guilty man.

I believe there is nothing more to be explained. Mr. Pennifeather was released upon the spot, inherited the fortune of his uncle, profited by the lessons of experience, turned over a new leaf, and led happily ever afterward a new life.

I think there's nothing left to explain. Mr. Pennifeather was set free right then, inherited his uncle's fortune, learned from his experiences, made a fresh start, and lived a happy new life from then on.

WHY THE LITTLE FRENCHMAN WEARS HIS HAND IN A SLING

It’s on my visiting cards sure enough (and it’s them that’s all o’ pink satin paper) that inny gintleman that plases may behould the intheristhin’ words, “Sir Pathrick O’Grandison, Barronitt, 39 Southampton Row, Russell Square, Parrish o’ Bloomsbury.” And shud ye be wantin’ to diskiver who is the pink of purliteness quite, and the laider of the hot tun in the houl city o’ Lonon—why it’s jist mesilf. And fait that same is no wonder at all at all (so be plased to stop curlin’ your nose), for every inch o’ the six wakes that I’ve been a gintleman, and left aff wid the bog-throthing to take up wid the Barronissy, it’s Pathrick that’s been living like a houly imperor, and gitting the iddication and the graces. Och! and wouldn’t it be a blessed thing for your spirrits if ye cud lay your two peepers jist, upon Sir Pathrick O’Grandison, Barronitt, when he is all riddy drissed for the hopperer, or stipping into the Brisky for the drive into the Hyde Park. But it’s the illigant big figgur that I ’ave, for the rason o’ which all the ladies fall in love wid me. Isn’t it my own swate silf now that’ll missure the six fut, and the three inches more nor that, in me stockins, and that am excadingly will proportioned all over to match? And it is ralelly more than three fut and a bit that there is, inny how, of the little ould furrener Frinchman that lives jist over the way, and that’s a-oggling and a-goggling the houl day, (and bad luck to him,) at the purty widdy Misthress Tracle that’s my own nixt-door neighbor, (God bliss her!) and a most particuller frind and acquaintance? You percave the little spalpeen is summat down in the mouth, and wears his lift hand in a sling, and it’s for that same thing, by yur lave, that I’m going to give you the good rason.

It’s definitely on my business cards (which are all made of pink satin paper) that any gentleman who wishes may see the impressive words, “Sir Patrick O’Grandison, Baronet, 39 Southampton Row, Russell Square, Parish of Bloomsbury.” And if you want to find out who the epitome of politeness is and the talk of the town in the bustling city of London—well, that would be me. And it’s no surprise at all (so please don’t wrinkle your nose), because for every day of the six years that I’ve been a gentleman, leaving behind the rough life to embrace the baronetcy, it’s Pathrick who has been living like a grand emperor, receiving all the attention and graces. Oh! Wouldn’t it lift your spirits to get a glimpse of Sir Patrick O’Grandison, Baronet, when he’s all dressed up for the soirée or stepping into the brougham for a drive in Hyde Park? But I’m quite the tall figure, which is why all the ladies fall in love with me. Isn’t it my own sweet self who measures six feet, and three inches more than that in my stockings, all perfectly proportioned? And there’s really more than three feet and a bit, anyway, of that little old Frenchman living just across the way, who’s ogling all day (and bad luck to him), at the pretty widow Mistress Tracle, my next-door neighbor (God bless her!) and a very particular friend and acquaintance? You see, the little scoundrel looks rather glum, wearing his left arm in a sling, and it’s for that reason, if you don’t mind my saying, that I’m going to give you a good explanation.

The truth of the houl matter is jist simple enough; for the very first day that I com’d from Connaught, and showd my swate little silf in the strait to the widdy, who was looking through the windy, it was a gone case althegither with the heart o’ the purty Misthress Tracle. I percaved it, ye see, all at once, and no mistake, and that’s God’s truth. First of all it was up wid the windy in a jiffy, and thin she threw open her two peepers to the itmost, and thin it was a little gould spy-glass that she clapped tight to one o’ them and divil may burn me if it didn’t spake to me as plain as a peeper cud spake, and says it, through the spy-glass: “Och! the tip o’ the mornin’ to ye, Sir Pathrick O’Grandison, Barronitt, mavourneen; and it’s a nate gintleman that ye are, sure enough, and it’s mesilf and me forten jist that’ll be at yur sarvice, dear, inny time o’ day at all at all for the asking.” And it’s not mesilf ye wud have to be bate in the purliteness; so I made her a bow that wud ha’ broken yur heart altegither to behould, and thin I pulled aff me hat with a flourish, and thin I winked at her hard wid both eyes, as much as to say, “True for you, yer a swate little crature, Mrs. Tracle, me darlint, and I wish I may be drownthed dead in a bog, if it’s not mesilf, Sir Pathrick O’Grandison, Barronitt, that’ll make a houl bushel o’ love to yur leddyship, in the twinkling o’ the eye of a Londonderry purraty.”

The truth of the whole matter is quite simple; from the very first day I arrived from Connaught and showed my sweet little self to the widow, who was looking through the window, it was clear that I had completely won the heart of the lovely Mistress Tracle. I noticed it right away, no doubt about it, and that’s the honest truth. First, the window flew open in an instant, and then she opened her eyes wide, and then she grabbed a little gold spyglass and put it to one of her eyes, and I swear it spoke to me as clearly as anyone could. Through the spyglass, it said: “Oh! Good morning to you, Sir Patrick O’Grandison, Baron, my dear; and you are surely a fine gentleman, and it’s myself and my fortune that will be at your service any time of day for the asking.” And you wouldn't have to outdo me in politeness; so I made her a bow that would have completely melted your heart to see, then I took off my hat with a flourish, and then I winked at her hard with both eyes, as if to say, “You’re a sweet little creature, Mrs. Tracle, my darling, and I swear, if it’s not me, Sir Patrick O’Grandison, Baron, who will be pouring a whole bushel of love on your ladyship in the blink of an eye of a Londonderry beauty.”

And it was the nixt mornin’, sure, jist as I was making up me mind whither it wouldn’t be the purlite thing to sind a bit o’ writin’ to the widdy by way of a love-litter, when up com’d the delivery servant wid an illigant card, and he tould me that the name on it (for I niver could rade the copperplate printin’ on account of being lift handed) was all about Mounseer, the Count, A Goose, Look-aisy, Maiter-di-dauns, and that the houl of the divilish lingo was the spalpeeny long name of the little ould furrener Frinchman as lived over the way.

And it was the next morning, just as I was deciding whether it would be polite to send a little note to the widow as a love letter, when the delivery guy showed up with a fancy card. He told me that the name on it (since I could never read the fancy script because I'm left-handed) was about Monsieur, the Count, A Goose, Look-easy, Mr. Fancy-pants, and that the whole damn thing was the long, silly name of the little old Frenchman who lived across the street.

And jist wid that in cum’d the little willian himself, and then he made me a broth of a bow, and thin he said he had ounly taken the liberty of doing me the honor of the giving me a call, and thin he went on to palaver at a great rate, and divil the bit did I comprehind what he wud be afther the tilling me at all at all, excipting and saving that he said “pully wou, woolly wou,” and tould me, among a bushel o’ lies, bad luck to him, that he was mad for the love o’ my widdy Misthress Tracle, and that my widdy Mrs. Tracle had a puncheon for him.

And just with that, in came the little William himself, and then he made me a really nice bow, and then he said he had only taken the liberty of doing me the honor of giving me a call, and then he went on to chat at great length, and not a bit did I understand what he was trying to tell me at all, except that he said “pully wow, woolly wow,” and told me, among a bunch of lies, bad luck to him, that he was crazy for the love of my widow Mrs. Tracle, and that my widow Mrs. Tracle had a soft spot for him.

At the hearin’ of this, ye may swear, though, I was as mad as a grasshopper, but I remimbered that I was Sir Pathrick O’Grandison, Barronitt, and that it wasn’t althegither gentaal to lit the anger git the upper hand o’ the purliteness, so I made light o’ the matter and kipt dark, and got quite sociable wid the little chap, and afther a while what did he do but ask me to go wid him to the widdy’s, saying he wud give me the feshionable inthroduction to her leddyship.

Upon hearing this, you might swear, but honestly, I was as angry as a grasshopper. Still, I remembered that I was Sir Pathrick O’Grandison, Baronet, and it wasn’t very gentlemanly to let my anger take over my politeness, so I downplayed the situation and kept calm, becoming quite friendly with the little guy. After a while, he asked me to go with him to the widow’s place, saying he would give me a proper introduction to her ladyship.

“Is it there ye are?” said I thin to mesilf, “and it’s thrue for you, Pathrick, that ye’re the fortunittest mortal in life. We’ll soon see now whither it’s your swate silf, or whither it’s little Mounseer Maiter-di-dauns, that Misthress Tracle is head and ears in the love wid.”

“Is that you?” I said to myself, “and it’s true, Pathrick, you’re the luckiest person alive. We’ll soon find out if it’s your sweet self or little Monsieur Master-Dancer that Mistress Tracle is head over heels in love with.”

Wid that we wint aff to the widdy’s, next door, and ye may well say it was an illigant place; so it was. There was a carpet all over the floor, and in one corner there was a forty-pinny and a Jew’s harp and the divil knows what ilse, and in another corner was a sofy, the beautifullest thing in all natur, and sitting on the sofy, sure enough, there was the swate little angel, Misthress Tracle.

Wid that, we went off to the widow's place next door, and you could definitely say it was an elegant spot; and it was. There was a carpet covering the entire floor, and in one corner, there was a forty-penny and a Jew's harp and God knows what else, and in another corner was a sofa, the most beautiful thing in nature, and sitting on the sofa, sure enough, was the sweet little angel, Mistress Tracle.

“The tip o’ the mornin’ to ye,” says I, “Mrs. Tracle,” and thin I made sich an illigant obaysance that it wud ha quite althegither bewildered the brain o’ ye.

“The top of the morning to you,” I said, “Mrs. Tracle,” and then I made such an elegant bow that it would have completely bewildered your mind.

“Wully woo, pully woo, plump in the mud,” says the little furrenner Frinchman, “and sure Mrs. Tracle,” says he, that he did, “isn’t this gintleman here jist his reverence Sir Pathrick O’Grandison, Barronitt, and isn’t he althegither and entirely the most particular frind and acquaintance that I have in the houl world?”

“Wully woo, pully woo, plump in the mud,” says the little foreigner Frinchman, “and sure Mrs. Tracle,” he adds, “isn’t this gentleman here just his reverence Sir Patrick O’Grandison, Baronet, and isn’t he altogether the most special friend and acquaintance that I have in the whole world?”

And wid that the widdy, she gits up from the sofy, and makes the swatest curthchy nor iver was seen; and thin down she sits like an angel; and thin, by the powers, it was that little spalpeen Mounseer Maiter-di-dauns that plumped his silf right down by the right side of her. Och hon! I ixpicted the two eyes o’ me wud ha cum’d out of my head on the spot, I was so dispirate mad! Howiver, “Bait who!” says I, after awhile. “Is it there ye are, Mounseer Maiter-di-dauns?” and so down I plumped on the lift side of her leddyship, to be aven with the willain. Botheration! it wud ha done your heart good to percave the illigant double wink that I gived her jist thin right in the face with both eyes.

And with that, the widow got up from the sofa and made the sweetest curtsy you've ever seen; then she sat down like an angel. Then, by all that's holy, that little rascal Monsieur Master-of-Dance plopped himself right down beside her. Oh, dear! I thought my eyes would pop out of my head I was so furious! However, “Wait a minute!” I said after a while. “Is that you, Monsieur Master-of-Dance?” So I plopped down on the left side of her ladyship to match that scoundrel. Honestly! It would have warmed your heart to see the elegant double wink I gave her right in the face with both eyes.

But the little ould Frinchman he niver beginned to suspict me at all at all, and disperate hard it was he made the love to her leddyship. “Woully wou,” says he, “Pully wou,” says he, “Plump in the mud,” says he.

But the little old Frenchman never suspected me at all, and he worked really hard to win her ladyship over. “Would you,” he says, “Please you,” he says, “Right in the mud,” he says.

“That’s all to no use, Mounseer Frog, mavourneen,” thinks I; and I talked as hard and as fast as I could all the while, and throth it was mesilf jist that divarted her leddyship complately and intirely, by rason of the illigant conversation that I kipt up wid her all about the dear bogs of Connaught. And by and by she gived me such a swate smile, from one ind of her mouth to the ither, that it made me as bould as a pig, and I jist took hould of the ind of her little finger in the most dilikittest manner in natur, looking at her all the while out o’ the whites of my eyes.

"That's all useless, Mounseer Frog, my dear," I thought; and I talked as much and as quickly as I could the whole time, and honestly, it was me who completely entertained her ladyship, thanks to the lovely conversation I kept going about the beautiful bogs of Connaught. Eventually, she gave me such a sweet smile, from one side of her mouth to the other, that it made me as bold as a pig, and I just gently took hold of the tip of her little finger in the most delicate way possible, looking at her the whole time out of the corners of my eyes.

And then ounly percave the cuteness of the swate angel, for no sooner did she obsarve that I was afther the squazing of her flipper, than she up wid it in a jiffy, and put it away behind her back, jist as much as to say, “Now thin, Sir Pathrick O’Grandison, there’s a bitther chance for ye, mavourneen, for it’s not altogether the gentaal thing to be afther the squazing of my flipper right full in the sight of that little furrenner Frinchman, Mounseer Maiter-di-dauns.”

And then I only noticed the cuteness of the sweet angel, because as soon as she saw that I was trying to squeeze her hand, she quickly pulled it away and hid it behind her back, as if to say, “Now then, Sir Patrick O’Grandison, here’s a better chance for you, my dear, because it’s not really proper to be squeezing my hand right in front of that little foreigner Frenchman, Monsieur Maiter-di-dauns.”

Wid that I giv’d her a big wink jist to say, “lit Sir Pathrick alone for the likes o’ them thricks,” and thin I wint aisy to work, and you’d have died wid the divarsion to behould how cliverly I slipped my right arm betwane the back o’ the sofy, and the back of her leddyship, and there, sure enough, I found a swate little flipper all a waiting to say, “the tip o’ the mornin’ to ye, Sir Pathrick O’Grandison, Barronitt.” And wasn’t it mesilf, sure, that jist giv’d it the laste little bit of a squaze in the world, all in the way of a commincement, and not to be too rough wid her leddyship? and och, botheration, wasn’t it the gentaalest and dilikittest of all the little squazes that I got in return? “Blood and thunder, Sir Pathrick, mavourneen,” thinks I to mesilf, “fait it’s jist the mother’s son of you, and nobody else at all at all, that’s the handsomest and the fortunittest young bog-throtter that ever cum’d out of Connaught!” And with that I givd the flipper a big squaze, and a big squaze it was, by the powers, that her leddyship giv’d to me back. But it would ha split the seven sides of you wid the laffin’ to behould, jist then all at once, the consated behavior of Mounseer Maiter-di-dauns. The likes o’ sich a jabbering, and a smirking, and a parley-wouing as he begin’d wid her leddyship, niver was known before upon arth; and divil may burn me if it wasn’t me own very two peepers that cotch’d him tipping her the wink out of one eye. Och, hon! if it wasn’t mesilf thin that was mad as a Kilkenny cat I shud like to be tould who it was!

With that, I gave her a big wink just to say, “leave Sir Patrick alone for that kind of stuff,” and then I went easy to work, and you would have laughed at how cleverly I slipped my right arm between the back of the sofa and her ladyship, and there, sure enough, I found a sweet little hand just waiting to say, “the tip of the morning to you, Sir Patrick O’Grandison, Baronet.” And wasn’t it me, sure, that just gave it the tiniest little squeeze in the world, just to start things off and not to be too rough with her ladyship? And oh, wasn't it the gentlest and most delicate of all the little squeezes that I got in return? “Blood and thunder, Sir Patrick, my dear,” I thought to myself, “it's just you, the handsomest and luckiest young lad that ever came out of Connacht!” And with that, I gave her hand a big squeeze, and it was quite a squeeze that her ladyship gave me back. But you would have split your sides laughing to see, all of a sudden, the conceited behavior of Monsieur Maiter-di-dauns. The kind of jabbering, smirking, and flirting he started with her ladyship had never been seen before on earth; and I swear, it was my very own two eyes that caught him winking at her with one eye. Oh, dear! If it wasn’t me who was as mad as a Kilkenny cat, I’d like to know who it was!

“Let me infarm you, Mounseer Maiter-di-dauns,” said I, as purlite as iver ye seed, “that it’s not the gintaal thing at all at all, and not for the likes o’ you inny how, to be afther the oggling and a-goggling at her leddyship in that fashion,” and jist wid that such another squaze as it was I giv’d her flipper, all as much as to say, “isn’t it Sir Pathrick now, my jewel, that’ll be able to the protectin’ o’ you, my darlint?” and then there cum’d another squaze back, all by way of the answer. “Thrue for you, Sir Pathrick,” it said as plain as iver a squaze said in the world, “Thrue for you, Sir Pathrick, mavourneen, and it’s a proper nate gintleman ye are—that’s God’s truth,” and with that she opened her two beautiful peepers till I belaved they wud ha’ cum’d out of her hid althegither and intirely, and she looked first as mad as a cat at Mounseer Frog, and thin as smiling as all out o’ doors at mesilf.

“Let me inform you, Monsieur Master-dancer,” I said, as polite as ever you’ve seen, “that it’s not the gentlemanly thing at all, and certainly not for someone like you, to be ogling her ladyship in that way.” And just then, I gave her a squeeze, meaning to say, “Isn’t it Sir Patrick, my dear, who will be able to protect you, my darling?” And then there came another squeeze back in response. “True for you, Sir Patrick,” it said as clearly as ever a squeeze could say in the world, “True for you, Sir Patrick, my darling, and you’re a proper neat gentleman—that's the truth.” With that, she opened her beautiful eyes so wide I thought they might come out of her head altogether, looking first as mad as a cat at Monsieur Frog, and then as smiling as anything at me.

“Thin,” says he, the willian, “Och hon! and a wolly-wou, pully-wou,” and then wid that he shoved up his two shoulders till the divil the bit of his hid was to be diskivered, and then he let down the two corners of his purraty-trap, and thin not a haporth more of the satisfaction could I git out o’ the spalpeen.

“Thin,” he says, the scoundrel, “Oh wow! and a silly, silly,” and then with that he shrugged his shoulders up so high that not a bit of his head could be seen, and then he dropped the two corners of his face, and then I couldn’t get even a tiny bit more satisfaction out of the rascal.

Belave me, my jewel, it was Sir Pathrick that was unreasonable mad thin, and the more by token that the Frinchman kipt an wid his winking at the widdy; and the widdy she kept an wid the squazing of my flipper, as much as to say, “At him again, Sir Pathrick O’Grandison, mavourneen:” so I just ripped out wid a big oath, and says I:

Belave me, my jewel, it was Sir Patrick who was completely unreasonable then, especially since the Frenchman was flirting with the widow; and the widow was squeezing my hand as if to say, "Go for it again, Sir Patrick O’Grandison, my darling:" so I just let loose with a big curse and said:

“Ye little spalpeeny frog of a bog-throtting son of a bloody noun!”—and jist thin what d’ye think it was that her leddyship did? Troth she jumped up from the sofy as if she was bit, and made off through the door, while I turned my head round afther her, in a complate bewilderment and botheration, and followed her wid me two peepers. You percave I had a reason of my own for knowing that she couldn’t git down the stares althegither and intirely; for I knew very well that I had hould of her hand, for the divil the bit had I iver lit it go. And says I:

“Hey you little troublemaker, you bog-swampin’ son of a gun!”—and then what do you think her ladyship did? She jumped up from the sofa as if she’d been stung and ran out through the door, while I turned my head after her, completely bewildered and flustered, following her with my two eyes. You see, I had my own reason for knowing she couldn’t get down the stairs at all; I was well aware that I still had hold of her hand, because I hadn’t let it go for a second. And I said:

“Isn’t it the laste little bit of a mistake in the world that ye’ve been afther the making, yer leddyship? Come back now, that’s a darlint, and I’ll give ye yur flipper.” But aff she wint down the stairs like a shot, and thin I turned round to the little Frinch furrenner. Och hon! if it wasn’t his spalpeeny little paw that I had hould of in my own—why thin—thin it wasn’t—that’s all.

“Isn’t it just a tiny mistake you’ve made, my lady? Come back now, sweetheart, and I’ll give you your hand.” But off she went down the stairs like a bullet, and then I turned to the little French foreigner. Oh dear! if it wasn’t his tiny little hand that I had in mine—well then—it wasn’t—that’s all.

And maybe it wasn’t mesilf that jist died then outright wid the laffin’, to behold the little chap when he found out that it wasn’t the widdy at all at all that he had had hould of all the time, but only Sir Pathrick O’Grandison. The ould divil himself niver behild sich a long face as he pet an! As for Sir Pathrick O’Grandison, Barronitt, it wasn’t for the likes of his riverence to be afther the minding of a thrifle of a mistake. Ye may jist say, though (for it’s God’s thruth), that afore I left hould of the flipper of the spalpeen (which was not till afther her leddyship’s futman had kicked us both down the stairs), I giv’d it such a nate little broth of a squaze as made it all up into raspberry jam.

And maybe it wasn’t just me who nearly died laughing, seeing the little guy realize that it wasn’t the widow he had been holding onto all along, but just Sir Patrick O’Grandison. The old devil himself had never looked so miserable! As for Sir Patrick O’Grandison, Baronett, it wasn’t like him to worry about a silly little mistake. You can definitely say, though (because it’s the honest truth), that before I let go of the little rascal’s hand (which wasn’t until after her ladyship’s footman had kicked us both down the stairs), I gave it such a good little squeeze that it turned into raspberry jam.

“Woully wou,” says he, “pully wou,” says he—“Cot tam!”

“Woully wow,” he says, “pully wow,” he says—“Damn it!”

And that’s jist the thruth of the rason why he wears his lift hand in a sling.

And that’s just the truth of the reason why he wears his left hand in a sling.

BON-BON.

Quand un bon vin meuble mon estomac,
Je suis plus savant que Balzac—
Plus sage que Pibrac;
Mon bras seul faisant l’attaque
De la nation Cossaque,
La mettroit au sac;
De Charon je passerois le lac,
En dormant dans son bac;
J’irois au fier Eac,
Sans que mon coeur fit tic ni tac,
Présenter du tabac.
                    —French Vaudeville

Quand un bon vin remplit mon estomac,
Je suis plus intelligent que Balzac—
Plus sage que Pibrac;
Mon bras seul lançant l’attaque
De la nation Cosaque,
La mettrait à sac;
Je traverserais le lac de Charon,
En dormant dans sa barque;
J’irais au fier Éac,
Sans que mon cœur fasse tic ni tac,
Présenter du tabac.
French Vaudeville

That Pierre Bon-Bon was a restaurateur of uncommon qualifications, no man who, during the reign of——, frequented the little Câfé in the cul-de-sac Le Febre at Rouen, will, I imagine, feel himself at liberty to dispute. That Pierre Bon-Bon was, in an equal degree, skilled in the philosophy of that period is, I presume, still more especially undeniable. His patés à la fois were beyond doubt immaculate; but what pen can do justice to his essays sur la Nature—his thoughts sur l’Ame—his observations sur l’Esprit? If his omelettes—if his fricandeaux were inestimable, what littérateur of that day would not have given twice as much for an “Idée de Bon-Bon” as for all the trash of “Idées” of all the rest of the savants? Bon-Bon had ransacked libraries which no other man had ransacked—had more than any other would have entertained a notion of reading—had understood more than any other would have conceived the possibility of understanding; and although, while he flourished, there were not wanting some authors at Rouen to assert “that his dicta evinced neither the purity of the Academy, nor the depth of the Lyceum”—although, mark me, his doctrines were by no means very generally comprehended, still it did not follow that they were difficult of comprehension. It was, I think, on account of their self-evidency that many persons were led to consider them abstruse. It is to Bon-Bon—but let this go no farther—it is to Bon-Bon that Kant himself is mainly indebted for his metaphysics. The former was indeed not a Platonist, nor strictly speaking an Aristotelian—nor did he, like the modern Leibnitz, waste those precious hours which might be employed in the invention of a fricasée or, facili gradú, the analysis of a sensation, in frivolous attempts at reconciling the obstinate oils and waters of ethical discussion. Not at all. Bon-Bon was Ionic—Bon-Bon was equally Italic. He reasoned à priori—He reasoned also à posteriori. His ideas were innate—or otherwise. He believed in George of Trebizonde—He believed in Bossarion [Bessarion]. Bon-Bon was emphatically a—Bon-Bonist.

That Pierre Bon-Bon was a restaurateur of exceptional talent, no one who, during the reign of——, visited the small café in the cul-de-sac Le Febre at Rouen, would likely argue against. That Pierre Bon-Bon was equally knowledgeable about the philosophy of that time is, I assume, even more obvious. His patés were undoubtedly perfect; but what writer could capture the essence of his essays on Nature—his thoughts on the Soul—his observations on the Spirit? If his omelettes—if his fricandeaux were invaluable, what literati of that era wouldn’t have gladly paid twice as much for an “Idée de Bon-Bon” as for all the nonsense of “Idées” from all the other scholars? Bon-Bon had explored libraries that no one else had dared to, had read more than anyone else would have thought to, and had understood things that others couldn’t even imagine understanding; and although, while he was active, there were some authors in Rouen who claimed that his ideas showed neither the purity of the Academy nor the depth of the Lyceum—although, note that his theories were not widely understood, it didn’t mean that they were hard to grasp. I believe that many people considered them complicated precisely because of their obviousness. It is to Bon-Bon—but let’s keep this between us—it is to Bon-Bon that Kant himself owes much of his metaphysics. Bon-Bon was not a Platonist, nor strictly an Aristotelian—nor did he, like the modern Leibnitz, waste valuable time that could be spent creating a fricassee or, as he might say, analyzing a sensation, on pointless attempts to reconcile the stubborn conflicts in ethical discussions. Not at all. Bon-Bon was Ionic—Bon-Bon was also Italic. He reasoned a priori—He reasoned also a posteriori. His ideas were intrinsic—or otherwise. He believed in George of Trebizonde—He believed in Bessarion. Bon-Bon was definitely a—Bon-Bonist.

I have spoken of the philosopher in his capacity of restaurateur. I would not, however, have any friend of mine imagine that, in fulfilling his hereditary duties in that line, our hero wanted a proper estimation of their dignity and importance. Far from it. It was impossible to say in which branch of his profession he took the greater pride. In his opinion the powers of the intellect held intimate connection with the capabilities of the stomach. I am not sure, indeed, that he greatly disagreed with the Chinese, who held that the soul lies in the abdomen. The Greeks at all events were right, he thought, who employed the same words for the mind and the diaphragm. (*1) By this I do not mean to insinuate a charge of gluttony, or indeed any other serious charge to the prejudice of the metaphysician. If Pierre Bon-Bon had his failings—and what great man has not a thousand?—if Pierre Bon-Bon, I say, had his failings, they were failings of very little importance—faults indeed which, in other tempers, have often been looked upon rather in the light of virtues. As regards one of these foibles, I should not even have mentioned it in this history but for the remarkable prominency—the extreme alto relievo—in which it jutted out from the plane of his general disposition. He could never let slip an opportunity of making a bargain.

I’ve talked about the philosopher as a restaurateur. However, I wouldn’t want any of my friends to think that while he was fulfilling his hereditary duties in that role, our hero lacked an appreciation for their dignity and significance. Quite the opposite. It was hard to tell which area of his profession he took more pride in. He believed that the powers of the mind were closely connected to the abilities of the stomach. I’m not sure he strongly disagreed with the Chinese view that the soul resides in the abdomen. The Greeks were right, in his opinion, to use the same terms for the mind and the diaphragm. (*1) I’m not suggesting any accusation of gluttony or any serious charge against the metaphysician. If Pierre Bon-Bon had his flaws—and what great person doesn’t have many?—if Pierre Bon-Bon, I say, had his flaws, they were of very little consequence—issues that, in other personalities, have often been viewed more as virtues. Regarding one of these quirks, I wouldn’t even mention it in this story if it didn’t stand out so notably—if it weren’t so strikingly obvious—against the backdrop of his general character. He could never pass up a chance to strike a deal.

     {*1} MD
{*1} MD

Not that he was avaricious—no. It was by no means necessary to the satisfaction of the philosopher, that the bargain should be to his own proper advantage. Provided a trade could be effected—a trade of any kind, upon any terms, or under any circumstances—a triumphant smile was seen for many days thereafter to enlighten his countenance, and a knowing wink of the eye to give evidence of his sagacity.

Not that he was greedy—no. It really wasn’t necessary for the philosopher’s satisfaction that the deal be to his own advantage. As long as a trade could be made—a trade of any kind, on any terms, or under any circumstances—a triumphant smile would light up his face for days after, and a knowing wink would show off his cleverness.

At any epoch it would not be very wonderful if a humor so peculiar as the one I have just mentioned, should elicit attention and remark. At the epoch of our narrative, had this peculiarity not attracted observation, there would have been room for wonder indeed. It was soon reported that, upon all occasions of the kind, the smile of Bon-Bon was wont to differ widely from the downright grin with which he would laugh at his own jokes, or welcome an acquaintance. Hints were thrown out of an exciting nature; stories were told of perilous bargains made in a hurry and repented of at leisure; and instances were adduced of unaccountable capacities, vague longings, and unnatural inclinations implanted by the author of all evil for wise purposes of his own.

At any time, it wouldn't be surprising if a unique sense of humor like the one I just mentioned caught people's attention. During the time of our story, if this unusual trait hadn't been noticed, it would have been truly astonishing. It quickly became known that, in every similar situation, Bon-Bon's smile was very different from the outright grin he had when he laughed at his own jokes or greeted someone. There were hints of something intriguing; tales circulated about risky deals made in haste and regretted later; and examples were shared of strange abilities, unclear desires, and unnatural urges implanted by the source of all evil for reasons of his own.

The philosopher had other weaknesses—but they are scarcely worthy our serious examination. For example, there are few men of extraordinary profundity who are found wanting in an inclination for the bottle. Whether this inclination be an exciting cause, or rather a valid proof of such profundity, it is a nice thing to say. Bon-Bon, as far as I can learn, did not think the subject adapted to minute investigation;—nor do I. Yet in the indulgence of a propensity so truly classical, it is not to be supposed that the restaurateur would lose sight of that intuitive discrimination which was wont to characterize, at one and the same time, his essais and his omelettes. In his seclusions the Vin de Bourgogne had its allotted hour, and there were appropriate moments for the Cotes du Rhone. With him Sauterne was to Medoc what Catullus was to Homer. He would sport with a syllogism in sipping St. Peray, but unravel an argument over Clos de Vougeot, and upset a theory in a torrent of Chambertin. Well had it been if the same quick sense of propriety had attended him in the peddling propensity to which I have formerly alluded—but this was by no means the case. Indeed to say the truth, that trait of mind in the philosophic Bon-Bon did begin at length to assume a character of strange intensity and mysticism, and appeared deeply tinctured with the diablerie of his favorite German studies.

The philosopher had other flaws—but they're hardly worth our serious attention. For instance, there are few exceptionally deep thinkers who don’t have a tendency to enjoy a drink. Whether this tendency is a cause of their depth or simply a sign of it is a tricky thing to determine. Bon-Bon, as far as I can tell, didn’t think this subject was worth a detailed investigation—nor do I. Still, in indulging a habit that’s quite traditional, it’s unlikely the restaurateur would lose that instinctive judgment that used to define both his dishes and his omelettes. During his private moments, Burgundy wine had its proper time, and there were fitting occasions for Côte du Rhône. For him, Sauternes was to Médoc what Catullus was to Homer. He could play with a syllogism while sipping St. Peray, but work through an argument over Clos de Vougeot and dismantle a theory with a flood of Chambertin. It would have been better if the same keen sense of propriety had accompanied him in the selling tendency I mentioned earlier—but that was definitely not the case. In fact, to be honest, that characteristic in the philosophical Bon-Bon started to take on a strangely intense and mystical nature and seemed heavily influenced by the devilishness of his favorite German studies.

To enter the little café in the cul-de-sac Le Febre was, at the period of our tale, to enter the sanctum of a man of genius. Bon-Bon was a man of genius. There was not a sous-cusinier in Rouen, who could not have told you that Bon-Bon was a man of genius. His very cat knew it, and forebore to whisk her tail in the presence of the man of genius. His large water-dog was acquainted with the fact, and upon the approach of his master, betrayed his sense of inferiority by a sanctity of deportment, a debasement of the ears, and a dropping of the lower jaw not altogether unworthy of a dog. It is, however, true that much of this habitual respect might have been attributed to the personal appearance of the metaphysician. A distinguished exterior will, I am constrained to say, have its way even with a beast; and I am willing to allow much in the outward man of the restaurateur calculated to impress the imagination of the quadruped. There is a peculiar majesty about the atmosphere of the little great—if I may be permitted so equivocal an expression—which mere physical bulk alone will be found at all times inefficient in creating. If, however, Bon-Bon was barely three feet in height, and if his head was diminutively small, still it was impossible to behold the rotundity of his stomach without a sense of magnificence nearly bordering upon the sublime. In its size both dogs and men must have seen a type of his acquirements—in its immensity a fitting habitation for his immortal soul.

To step into the little café in the cul-de-sac during the time of our story was to enter the realm of a genius. Bon-Bon was a genius. There wasn't a sous-cusinier in Rouen who couldn't tell you that Bon-Bon was a genius. Even his cat recognized it and didn’t flick her tail in the presence of this genius. His large water-dog also understood this, and when Bon-Bon approached, the dog showed his sense of inferiority with a solemn demeanor, droopy ears, and a slack jaw that fittingly reflected a dog's nature. However, much of this constant respect could be credited to the metaphysician's appearance. I have to admit that a distinguished look can impress even animals, and I’m willing to acknowledge that there was much in the restaurateur’s outward appearance that would capture a quadruped's imagination. There’s a unique kind of awe surrounding the little great—if I can use that somewhat ambiguous term—that mere size alone could never create. While Bon-Bon was barely three feet tall and had a rather small head, it was hard to ignore the roundness of his stomach, which gave off an air of magnificence almost touching the sublime. In its size, both dogs and people must have seen a reflection of his achievements, and in its vastness, a suitable home for his immortal soul.

I might here—if it so pleased me—dilate upon the matter of habiliment, and other mere circumstances of the external metaphysician. I might hint that the hair of our hero was worn short, combed smoothly over his forehead, and surmounted by a conical-shaped white flannel cap and tassels—that his pea-green jerkin was not after the fashion of those worn by the common class of restaurateurs at that day—that the sleeves were something fuller than the reigning costume permitted—that the cuffs were turned up, not as usual in that barbarous period, with cloth of the same quality and color as the garment, but faced in a more fanciful manner with the particolored velvet of Genoa—that his slippers were of a bright purple, curiously filigreed, and might have been manufactured in Japan, but for the exquisite pointing of the toes, and the brilliant tints of the binding and embroidery—that his breeches were of the yellow satin-like material called aimable—that his sky-blue cloak, resembling in form a dressing-wrapper, and richly bestudded all over with crimson devices, floated cavalierly upon his shoulders like a mist of the morning—and that his tout ensemble gave rise to the remarkable words of Benevenuta, the Improvisatrice of Florence, “that it was difficult to say whether Pierre Bon-Bon was indeed a bird of Paradise, or rather a very Paradise of perfection.” I might, I say, expatiate upon all these points if I pleased,—but I forbear, merely personal details may be left to historical novelists,—they are beneath the moral dignity of matter-of-fact.

I could, if I wanted to, go on about clothing and other trivial details of the external philosopher. I could mention that our hero had short hair, slicked back over his forehead, topped off with a conical white flannel cap and tassels—that his pea-green jacket wasn’t like the ones worn by the ordinary restaurant owners of the time—that the sleeves were a bit fuller than the fashion of the day allowed—that the cuffs were turned up, not in the usual barbaric style with matching fabric, but in a more stylish way with colorful Genoese velvet—that his slippers were a bright purple, intricately designed, and could have been made in Japan, except for the sharp points of the toes and the vibrant colors of the bindings and embroidery—that his breeches were made of a yellow, satin-like fabric called aimable—that his sky-blue cloak, resembling a bathrobe and covered in rich crimson patterns, hung elegantly on his shoulders like morning mist—and that his overall appearance inspired the remarkable words of Benevenuta, the Improvisatrice of Florence, who said it was hard to tell if Pierre Bon-Bon was truly a bird of Paradise or a perfect Paradise itself. I could elaborate on all these details if I wished—but I won’t, as personal details are better left to historical novelists—they don't match the moral seriousness of factual matters.

I have said that “to enter the café in the cul-de-sac Le Febre was to enter the sanctum of a man of genius”—but then it was only the man of genius who could duly estimate the merits of the sanctum. A sign, consisting of a vast folio, swung before the entrance. On one side of the volume was painted a bottle; on the reverse a paté. On the back were visible in large letters Œuvres de Bon-Bon. Thus was delicately shadowed forth the two-fold occupation of the proprietor.

I said that “walking into the café in the cul-de-sac Le Febre felt like stepping into the private space of a genius”—but it was really only a genius who could truly appreciate the value of that sanctum. A huge sign swung above the entrance. One side of it showed a bottle; the other side displayed a paté. On the back, you could see in big letters Œuvres de Bon-Bon. This subtly highlighted the two main activities of the owner.

Upon stepping over the threshold, the whole interior of the building presented itself to view. A long, low-pitched room, of antique construction, was indeed all the accommodation afforded by the café. In a corner of the apartment stood the bed of the metaphysician. An army of curtains, together with a canopy à la Grècque, gave it an air at once classic and comfortable. In the corner diagonary opposite, appeared, in direct family communion, the properties of the kitchen and the bibliotheque. A dish of polemics stood peacefully upon the dresser. Here lay an ovenful of the latest ethics—there a kettle of dudecimo mélanges. Volumes of German morality were hand and glove with the gridiron—a toasting-fork might be discovered by the side of Eusebius—Plato reclined at his ease in the frying-pan—and contemporary manuscripts were filed away upon the spit.

As soon as I stepped inside, the entire interior of the building came into view. It was a long, low room with an old-school vibe, and that was all the space the café had to offer. In one corner of the room was the bed of the philosopher. An array of curtains, along with a Greek-style canopy, gave it a classic yet cozy feel. In the opposite corner, the kitchen and the bibliotheque were in a direct familial setup. A plate of debates rested peacefully on the dresser. Here was an oven full of the latest ethics—there sat a kettle of various mélanges. Volumes of German morals were closely associated with the grill—a toasting fork could be found next to Eusebius—Plato was lounging comfortably in the frying pan—and contemporary manuscripts were stored on the spit.

In other respects the Café de Bon-Bon might be said to differ little from the usual restaurants of the period. A fireplace yawned opposite the door. On the right of the fireplace an open cupboard displayed a formidable array of labelled bottles.

In other ways, the Café de Bon-Bon could be said to be pretty much like the typical restaurants of the time. A fireplace gaped across from the door. To the right of the fireplace, an open cupboard showed off an impressive collection of labeled bottles.

It was here, about twelve o’clock one night during the severe winter of ——, that Pierre Bon-Bon, after having listened to the comments of his neighbours upon his singular propensity—that Pierre Bon-Bon, I say, having turned them all out of his house, locked the door upon them with an oath, and betook himself in no very pacific mood to the comforts of a leather-bottomed arm-chair, and a fire of blazing fagots.

It was around midnight one night during a harsh winter that Pierre Bon-Bon, after hearing his neighbors talk about his unusual habits—that Pierre Bon-Bon, I say, after kicking them all out of his house, locked the door on them with a curse, and settled into a not-so-calm mood in the comfort of a leather armchair and a fire roaring with logs.

It was one of those terrific nights which are only met with once or twice during a century. It snowed fiercely, and the house tottered to its centre with the floods of wind that, rushing through the crannies in the wall, and pouring impetuously down the chimney, shook awfully the curtains of the philosopher’s bed, and disorganized the economy of his pate-pans and papers. The huge folio sign that swung without, exposed to the fury of the tempest, creaked ominously, and gave out a moaning sound from its stanchions of solid oak.

It was one of those amazing nights that only happen once or twice in a century. It snowed heavily, and the house shook to its core from the strong winds that rushed through the cracks in the walls and violently swept down the chimney, causing the philosopher’s bed curtains to shake and messing up his pots and papers. The large sign hanging outside, exposed to the storm, creaked ominously and let out a mournful sound from its solid oak supports.

It was in no placid temper, I say, that the metaphysician drew up his chair to its customary station by the hearth. Many circumstances of a perplexing nature had occurred during the day, to disturb the serenity of his meditations. In attempting des oeufs à la Princesse, he had unfortunately perpetrated an omelette à la Reine; the discovery of a principle in ethics had been frustrated by the overturning of a stew; and last, not least, he had been thwarted in one of those admirable bargains which he at all times took such especial delight in bringing to a successful termination. But in the chafing of his mind at these unaccountable vicissitudes, there did not fail to be mingled some degree of that nervous anxiety which the fury of a boisterous night is so well calculated to produce. Whistling to his more immediate vicinity the large black water-dog we have spoken of before, and settling himself uneasily in his chair, he could not help casting a wary and unquiet eye toward those distant recesses of the apartment whose inexorable shadows not even the red firelight itself could more than partially succeed in overcoming. Having completed a scrutiny whose exact purpose was perhaps unintelligible to himself, he drew close to his seat a small table covered with books and papers, and soon became absorbed in the task of retouching a voluminous manuscript, intended for publication on the morrow.

It was in anything but a calm mood that the philosopher pulled up his chair to its usual spot by the fireplace. Many confusing events had happened throughout the day, disrupting the peace of his thoughts. While trying to make des oeufs à la Princesse, he had unfortunately ended up creating an omelette à la Reine; his discovery of an ethical principle was derailed by a spilled stew; and lastly, he had been blocked from securing one of the great deals he always took such pleasure in finalizing. Yet, amid the agitation of his mind over these baffling twists, there was also a sense of the nervous tension that a stormy night tends to bring. Whistling for the large black water-dog mentioned earlier, and settling himself restlessly in his chair, he couldn’t help but cast a cautious and uneasy glance toward the far corners of the room, where the relentless shadows could barely be pushed back by the flickering firelight. After completing a scrutiny whose exact purpose was probably unclear even to him, he pulled a small table stacked with books and papers closer to his seat and soon became engrossed in revising a lengthy manuscript he planned to publish the next day.

He had been thus occupied for some minutes when “I am in no hurry, Monsieur Bon-Bon,” suddenly whispered a whining voice in the apartment.

He had been busy for a few minutes when a whining voice suddenly whispered in the apartment, “I’m in no hurry, Monsieur Bon-Bon.”

“The devil!” ejaculated our hero, starting to his feet, overturning the table at his side, and staring around him in astonishment.

“The devil!” exclaimed our hero, jumping to his feet, knocking over the table next to him, and looking around in disbelief.

“Very true,” calmly replied the voice.

"Sure," replied the voice calmly.

“Very true!—what is very true?—how came you here?” vociferated the metaphysician, as his eye fell upon something which lay stretched at full length upon the bed.

“Very true!—what is very true?—how did you get here?” shouted the metaphysician, as he noticed something lying flat on the bed.

“I was saying,” said the intruder, without attending to the interrogatives,—“I was saying that I am not at all pushed for time—that the business upon which I took the liberty of calling, is of no pressing importance—in short, that I can very well wait until you have finished your Exposition.”

“I was saying,” said the intruder, ignoring the questions, “I was saying that I’m not in a rush—that the reason I took the liberty of stopping by isn’t urgent—basically, I can easily wait until you’re done with your Exposition.”

“My Exposition!—there now!—how do you know?—how came you to understand that I was writing an Exposition?—good God!”

“My Exposition!—there you go!—how do you know?—how did you figure out that I was writing an Exposition?—oh my god!”

“Hush!” replied the figure, in a shrill undertone; and, arising quickly from the bed, he made a single step toward our hero, while an iron lamp that depended over-head swung convulsively back from his approach.

“Hush!” replied the figure in a sharp whisper; and, quickly getting out of bed, he took a step toward our hero, while an iron lamp hanging overhead swung violently back at his approach.

The philosopher’s amazement did not prevent a narrow scrutiny of the stranger’s dress and appearance. The outlines of his figure, exceedingly lean, but much above the common height, were rendered minutely distinct, by means of a faded suit of black cloth which fitted tight to the skin, but was otherwise cut very much in the style of a century ago. These garments had evidently been intended for a much shorter person than their present owner. His ankles and wrists were left naked for several inches. In his shoes, however, a pair of very brilliant buckles gave the lie to the extreme poverty implied by the other portions of his dress. His head was bare, and entirely bald, with the exception of a hinder part, from which depended a queue of considerable length. A pair of green spectacles, with side glasses, protected his eyes from the influence of the light, and at the same time prevented our hero from ascertaining either their color or their conformation. About the entire person there was no evidence of a shirt, but a white cravat, of filthy appearance, was tied with extreme precision around the throat and the ends hanging down formally side by side gave (although I dare say unintentionally) the idea of an ecclesiastic. Indeed, many other points both in his appearance and demeanor might have very well sustained a conception of that nature. Over his left ear, he carried, after the fashion of a modern clerk, an instrument resembling the stylus of the ancients. In a breast-pocket of his coat appeared conspicuously a small black volume fastened with clasps of steel. This book, whether accidentally or not, was so turned outwardly from the person as to discover the words “Rituel Catholique” in white letters upon the back. His entire physiognomy was interestingly saturnine—even cadaverously pale. The forehead was lofty, and deeply furrowed with the ridges of contemplation. The corners of the mouth were drawn down into an expression of the most submissive humility. There was also a clasping of the hands, as he stepped toward our hero—a deep sigh—and altogether a look of such utter sanctity as could not have failed to be unequivocally preposessing. Every shadow of anger faded from the countenance of the metaphysician, as, having completed a satisfactory survey of his visitor’s person, he shook him cordially by the hand, and conducted him to a seat.

The philosopher’s amazement didn’t stop him from closely examining the stranger's clothing and appearance. The outline of the man’s figure, very lean but much taller than average, was clearly defined by a faded black suit that hugged his skin but was styled like clothing from a century ago. These clothes were clearly intended for someone shorter than their current owner, leaving several inches of his ankles and wrists exposed. However, a pair of shiny buckles on his shoes contradicted the extreme poverty suggested by the rest of his attire. He was completely bald except for a long queue of hair at the back of his head. He wore green spectacles with side glasses that shielded his eyes from the light, making it impossible for our protagonist to determine their color or shape. There was no sign of a shirt, but a filthy white cravat was tied tightly around his neck, with the ends hanging neatly on either side, giving him (probably unintentionally) a somewhat clerical look. In fact, several aspects of his appearance and demeanor could easily support that impression. Over his left ear, he carried an item resembling an ancient stylus in the manner of a modern clerk. In the breast pocket of his coat, a small black book secured with steel clasps was prominently displayed. This book, whether by accident or design, was positioned outwardly, revealing the words "Rituel Catholique" in white letters on the cover. His entire face had an interestingly gloomy look—even ghostly pale. His forehead was high and deeply lined with the marks of deep thought. The corners of his mouth were turned down in a look of utter humility. As he approached our protagonist, he clasped his hands, let out a deep sigh, and overall had an expression of such complete sanctity that it couldn't help but be striking. Any hint of anger vanished from the philosopher's face as he finished examining his visitor and shook his hand warmly, leading him to a seat.

There would however be a radical error in attributing this instantaneous transition of feeling in the philosopher, to any one of those causes which might naturally be supposed to have had an influence. Indeed, Pierre Bon-Bon, from what I have been able to understand of his disposition, was of all men the least likely to be imposed upon by any speciousness of exterior deportment. It was impossible that so accurate an observer of men and things should have failed to discover, upon the moment, the real character of the personage who had thus intruded upon his hospitality. To say no more, the conformation of his visitor’s feet was sufficiently remarkable—he maintained lightly upon his head an inordinately tall hat—there was a tremulous swelling about the hinder part of his breeches—and the vibration of his coat tail was a palpable fact. Judge, then, with what feelings of satisfaction our hero found himself thrown thus at once into the society of a person for whom he had at all times entertained the most unqualified respect. He was, however, too much of the diplomatist to let escape him any intimation of his suspicions in regard to the true state of affairs. It was not his cue to appear at all conscious of the high honor he thus unexpectedly enjoyed; but, by leading his guest into the conversation, to elicit some important ethical ideas, which might, in obtaining a place in his contemplated publication, enlighten the human race, and at the same time immortalize himself—ideas which, I should have added, his visitor’s great age, and well-known proficiency in the science of morals, might very well have enabled him to afford.

However, it would be a huge mistake to think that this sudden shift in the philosopher's feelings was due to any of the usual reasons one might assume. In fact, from what I've gathered about Pierre Bon-Bon, he was the least likely person to be fooled by any superficial behavior. It was impossible for someone so keen on observing people and situations to not instantly recognize the true nature of the person who had invaded his hospitality. To say nothing more, the unusual shape of his visitor’s feet was striking—he balanced an excessively tall hat on his head—there was a noticeable bulge at the back of his pants—and the movement of his coat tail was quite evident. Consider, then, the satisfaction our hero felt at finding himself in the company of someone he had always held in the highest regard. However, he was too much of a diplomat to reveal any hint of his suspicions about what was really going on. It wasn’t in his interest to show he was aware of the unexpected honor he was receiving; instead, he aimed to steer the conversation toward uncovering some significant ethical ideas that could, when included in his planned publication, educate humanity and also make him memorable—ideas that, I should add, his visitor’s advanced age and well-known expertise in the field of ethics would likely enable him to share.

Actuated by these enlightened views, our hero bade the gentleman sit down, while he himself took occasion to throw some fagots upon the fire, and place upon the now re-established table some bottles of Mousseux. Having quickly completed these operations, he drew his chair vis-à-vis to his companion’s, and waited until the latter should open the conversation. But plans even the most skilfully matured are often thwarted in the outset of their application—and the restaurateur found himself nonplussed by the very first words of his visitor’s speech.

Driven by these enlightened views, our hero asked the gentleman to sit down while he took the opportunity to add some logs to the fire and put some bottles of Mousseux on the now reset table. After quickly finishing these tasks, he pulled his chair face-to-face with his companion’s and waited for the latter to start the conversation. However, even the best-made plans are often disrupted right from the start, and the restaurateur found himself stumped by the very first words of his visitor’s speech.

“I see you know me, Bon-Bon,” said he; “ha! ha! ha!—he! he! he!—hi! hi! hi!—ho! ho! ho!—hu! hu! hu!”—and the devil, dropping at once the sanctity of his demeanor, opened to its fullest extent a mouth from ear to ear, so as to display a set of jagged and fang-like teeth, and, throwing back his head, laughed long, loudly, wickedly, and uproariously, while the black dog, crouching down upon his haunches, joined lustily in the chorus, and the tabby cat, flying off at a tangent, stood up on end, and shrieked in the farthest corner of the apartment.

“I see you know me, Bon-Bon,” he said; “ha! ha! ha!—he! he! he!—hi! hi! hi!—ho! ho! ho!—hu! hu! hu!”—and the devil, dropping any pretense of seriousness, opened his mouth wide from ear to ear, revealing a set of jagged, fang-like teeth. Throwing back his head, he laughed long, loudly, wickedly, and uproariously, while the black dog, crouching down on its haunches, joined in the laughter, and the tabby cat, darting away, stood up on end and shrieked from the farthest corner of the room.

Not so the philosopher; he was too much a man of the world either to laugh like the dog, or by shrieks to betray the indecorous trepidation of the cat. It must be confessed, he felt a little astonishment to see the white letters which formed the words “Rituel Catholique” on the book in his guest’s pocket, momently changing both their color and their import, and in a few seconds, in place of the original title the words Régitre des Condamnes blazed forth in characters of red. This startling circumstance, when Bon-Bon replied to his visitor’s remark, imparted to his manner an air of embarrassment which probably might, not otherwise have been observed.

Not so for the philosopher; he was too worldly to laugh like a dog or to show the scared panic of a cat. Admittedly, he was a bit taken aback to see the white letters spelling “Rituel Catholique” on the book in his guest’s pocket, which momentarily shifted both their color and meaning. In just a few seconds, instead of the original title, the words Régitre des Condamnes blazed in red letters. This surprising turn of events added an air of embarrassment to Bon-Bon’s response to his visitor’s comment, which might not have been noted otherwise.

“Why sir,” said the philosopher, “why sir, to speak sincerely—I believe you are—upon my word—the d——dest—that is to say, I think—I imagine—I have some faint—some very faint idea—of the remarkable honor—”

“Why, sir,” said the philosopher, “to speak honestly—I truly believe you are—on my word—the d——dest—that is to say, I think—I imagine—I have some faint—some very faint idea—of the remarkable honor—”

“Oh!—ah!—yes!—very well!” interrupted his Majesty; “say no more—I see how it is.” And hereupon, taking off his green spectacles, he wiped the glasses carefully with the sleeve of his coat, and deposited them in his pocket.

“Oh!—ah!—yeah!—that’s fine!” interrupted his Majesty; “don’t say anything more—I get it.” Then, taking off his green glasses, he wiped the lenses carefully with his coat sleeve and put them in his pocket.

If Bon-Bon had been astonished at the incident of the book, his amazement was now much increased by the spectacle which here presented itself to view. In raising his eyes, with a strong feeling of curiosity to ascertain the color of his guest’s, he found them by no means black, as he had anticipated—nor gray, as might have been imagined—nor yet hazel nor blue—nor indeed yellow nor red—nor purple—nor white—nor green—nor any other color in the heavens above, or in the earth beneath, or in the waters under the earth. In short, Pierre Bon-Bon not only saw plainly that his Majesty had no eyes whatsoever, but could discover no indications of their having existed at any previous period—for the space where eyes should naturally have been was, I am constrained to say, simply a dead level of flesh.

If Bon-Bon had been shocked by the book incident, his surprise grew even more at the sight in front of him. Looking up with a strong curiosity to see the color of his guest's eyes, he found them not at all black, as he had expected—nor gray, which might have seemed likely—nor hazel or blue—nor yellow or red—nor purple—nor white—nor green—or any other color found in the sky above, the earth below, or the waters beneath the earth. In short, Pierre Bon-Bon not only clearly saw that his Majesty had no eyes at all, but he also found no signs that they had ever existed—because the area where eyes should naturally be was, I hate to say, just a flat surface of skin.

It was not in the nature of the metaphysician to forbear making some inquiry into the sources of so strange a phenomenon, and the reply of his Majesty was at once prompt, dignified, and satisfactory.

It wasn’t in the nature of the philosopher to hold back from exploring the reasons behind such a strange occurrence, and the response from his Majesty was immediately clear, dignified, and satisfactory.

“Eyes! my dear Bon-Bon—eyes! did you say?—oh!—ah!—I perceive! The ridiculous prints, eh, which are in, circulation, have given you a false idea of my personal appearance? Eyes!—true. Eyes, Pierre Bon-Bon, are very well in their proper place—that, you would say, is the head?—right—the head of a worm. To you, likewise, these optics are indispensable—yet I will convince you that my vision is more penetrating than your own. There is a cat I see in the corner—a pretty cat—look at her—observe her well. Now, Bon-Bon, do you behold the thoughts—the thoughts, I say,—the ideas—the reflections—which are being engendered in her pericranium? There it is, now—you do not! She is thinking we admire the length of her tail and the profundity of her mind. She has just concluded that I am the most distinguished of ecclesiastics, and that you are the most superficial of metaphysicians. Thus you see I am not altogether blind; but to one of my profession, the eyes you speak of would be merely an incumbrance, liable at any time to be put out by a toasting-iron, or a pitchfork. To you, I allow, these optical affairs are indispensable. Endeavor, Bon-Bon, to use them well;—my vision is the soul.”

"Eyes! My dear Bon-Bon—eyes! Did you say?—oh!—ah!—I see! The ridiculous images going around have given you a skewed idea of my appearance? Eyes!—true. Eyes, Pierre Bon-Bon, are great in their rightful place—that would be, you’d say, the head?—right—the head of a worm. To you, these eyes are essential—yet I’ll show you that my insight is sharper than yours. There’s a cat I see in the corner—a lovely cat—look at her—observe her closely. Now, Bon-Bon, can you perceive the thoughts—the thoughts, I say—the ideas—the reflections—forming in her head? There it is, now—you can’t! She thinks we admire the length of her tail and the depth of her thoughts. She just decided that I am the most distinguished of clerics and that you are the most superficial of philosophers. So, you see, I’m not completely blind; but for someone in my profession, the eyes you talk about would just be a hindrance, at risk of being poked out by a toasting fork or a pitchfork. For you, I’ll admit, these visual things are essential. Try, Bon-Bon, to use them wisely;—my vision is the soul."

Hereupon the guest helped himself to the wine upon the table, and pouring out a bumper for Bon-Bon, requested him to drink it without scruple, and make himself perfectly at home.

The guest poured himself some wine from the table and filled a glass for Bon-Bon, encouraging him to drink freely and make himself completely comfortable.

“A clever book that of yours, Pierre,” resumed his Majesty, tapping our friend knowingly upon the shoulder, as the latter put down his glass after a thorough compliance with his visitor’s injunction. “A clever book that of yours, upon my honor. It’s a work after my own heart. Your arrangement of the matter, I think, however, might be improved, and many of your notions remind me of Aristotle. That philosopher was one of my most intimate acquaintances. I liked him as much for his terrible ill temper, as for his happy knack at making a blunder. There is only one solid truth in all that he has written, and for that I gave him the hint out of pure compassion for his absurdity. I suppose, Pierre Bon-Bon, you very well know to what divine moral truth I am alluding?”

“A clever book of yours, Pierre,” the King said, giving our friend a knowing pat on the shoulder as he set down his glass after following his guest’s suggestion. “A clever book, I swear. It’s a piece that speaks to me. However, I think your organization could use some work, and some of your ideas remind me of Aristotle. That philosopher was one of my closest friends. I appreciated him not only for his awful temper but also for his unique talent for making mistakes. There’s only one real truth in everything he wrote, and I pointed it out to him out of pure pity for his ridiculousness. I trust you know the divine moral truth I’m referring to, Pierre Bon-Bon?”

“Cannot say that I—”

“Can't say that I—”

“Indeed!—why it was I who told Aristotle that by sneezing, men expelled superfluous ideas through the proboscis.”

“Seriously!—I was the one who told Aristotle that when people sneeze, they're getting rid of unnecessary thoughts through their nose.”

“Which is—hiccup!—undoubtedly the case,” said the metaphysician, while he poured out for himself another bumper of Mousseux, and offered his snuff-box to the fingers of his visitor.

“Which is—hiccup!—definitely true,” said the metaphysician as he poured himself another glass of Mousseux and offered his snuff-box to his visitor.

“There was Plato, too,” continued his Majesty, modestly declining the snuff-box and the compliment it implied—“there was Plato, too, for whom I, at one time, felt all the affection of a friend. You knew Plato, Bon-Bon?—ah, no, I beg a thousand pardons. He met me at Athens, one day, in the Parthenon, and told me he was distressed for an idea. I bade him write, down that δ υοῦς εστιν αυλος. He said that he would do so, and went home, while I stepped over to the pyramids. But my conscience smote me for having uttered a truth, even to aid a friend, and hastening back to Athens, I arrived behind the philosopher’s chair as he was inditing the ‘αυλος.’

“There was Plato, too,” continued his Majesty, modestly refusing the snuff-box and the compliment it suggested—“there was Plato, for whom I once felt all the affection of a friend. You knew Plato, Bon-Bon?—oh, no, I sincerely apologize. He met me in Athens, one day, at the Parthenon, and told me he was struggling to find an idea. I encouraged him to write down that δ υοῦς εστιν αυλος. He said he would, and then went home while I went over to the pyramids. But my conscience nagged at me for having spoken a truth, even to help a friend, so I hurried back to Athens and arrived just behind the philosopher’s chair as he was writing the ‘αυλος.’

“Giving the lambda a fillip with my finger, I turned it upside down. So the sentence now read ‘δ υοῦς εστιν αυγος’, and is, you perceive, the fundamental doctrines in his metaphysics.”

“Pressing the lambda with my finger, I flipped it over. Now the sentence read ‘δ υοῦς εστιν αυγος’, which, as you can see, represents the core teachings in his metaphysics.”

“Were you ever at Rome?” asked the restaurateur, as he finished his second bottle of Mousseux, and drew from the closet a larger supply of Chambertin.

“Have you ever been to Rome?” asked the restaurateur, as he finished his second bottle of Mousseux and pulled out a bigger supply of Chambertin from the closet.

“But once, Monsieur Bon-Bon, but once. There was a time,” said the devil, as if reciting some passage from a book—“there was a time when occurred an anarchy of five years, during which the republic, bereft of all its officers, had no magistracy besides the tribunes of the people, and these were not legally vested with any degree of executive power—at that time, Monsieur Bon-Bon—at that time only I was in Rome, and I have no earthly acquaintance, consequently, with any of its philosophy.” (*2)

“But once, Monsieur Bon-Bon, just once. There was a time,” said the devil, as if quoting from some book—“there was a time when there was anarchy for five years, during which the republic, without any of its officials, had no governing body except for the tribunes of the people, and they weren’t legally given any executive power—at that time, Monsieur Bon-Bon—at that time, I was the only one in Rome, and I have no real connection, therefore, with any of its philosophy.” (*2)

     {*2} Ils ecrivaient sur la Philosophie (Cicero, Lucretius,
     Seneca) mais c’etait la Philosophie Grecque.—Condorcet.
     {*2} They wrote about Philosophy (Cicero, Lucretius, Seneca), but it was Greek Philosophy. —Condorcet.

“What do you think of—what do you think of—hiccup!—Epicurus?”

“What do you think of—what do you think of—hiccup!—Epicurus?”

“What do I think of whom?” said the devil, in astonishment, “you cannot surely mean to find any fault with Epicurus! What do I think of Epicurus! Do you mean me, sir?—I am Epicurus! I am the same philosopher who wrote each of the three hundred treatises commemorated by Diogenes Laertes.”

“What do I think of who?” said the devil, shocked. “You can't possibly be suggesting there's anything wrong with Epicurus! What do I think of Epicurus! Are you referring to me, sir?—I am Epicurus! I'm the same philosopher who wrote all three hundred treatises noted by Diogenes Laertes.”

“That’s a lie!” said the metaphysician, for the wine had gotten a little into his head.

"That's a lie!" said the philosopher, since the wine had gone to his head a bit.

“Very well!—very well, sir!—very well, indeed, sir!” said his Majesty, apparently much flattered.

“Alright!—alright, sir!—really great, sir!” said his Majesty, seemingly quite pleased.

“That’s a lie!” repeated the restaurateur, dogmatically; “that’s a—hiccup!—a lie!”

"That's a lie!" the restaurateur insisted, firmly. "That's a—hiccup!—lie!"

“Well, well, have it your own way!” said the devil, pacifically, and Bon-Bon, having beaten his Majesty at argument, thought it his duty to conclude a second bottle of Chambertin.

“Well, well, have it your way!” said the devil calmly, and Bon-Bon, having won the argument against His Majesty, felt it was his duty to finish another bottle of Chambertin.

“As I was saying,” resumed the visitor—“as I was observing a little while ago, there are some very outré notions in that book of yours Monsieur Bon-Bon. What, for instance, do you mean by all that humbug about the soul? Pray, sir, what is the soul?”

“As I was saying,” the visitor continued, “as I mentioned a little while ago, there are some really outthere ideas in that book of yours, Monsieur Bon-Bon. What exactly do you mean by all that nonsense about the soul? Come on, what is the soul?”

“The—hiccup!—soul,” replied the metaphysician, referring to his MS., “is undoubtedly—”

“The—hiccup!—soul,” replied the philosopher, referring to his manuscript, “is definitely—”

“No, sir!”

“No way!”

“Indubitably—”

"Definitely—"

“No, sir!”

“No way, sir!”

“Indisputably—”

“Definitely—”

“No, sir!”

“No way, sir!”

“Evidently—”

"Clearly—"

“No, sir!”

“No way, sir!”

“Incontrovertibly—”

"Definitely—"

“No, sir!”

“No way, sir!”

“Hiccup!—”

"Hiccup!"

“No, sir!”

“Not a chance!”

“And beyond all question, a—”

“And without a doubt, a—”

“No sir, the soul is no such thing!” (Here the philosopher, looking daggers, took occasion to make an end, upon the spot, of his third bottle of Chambertin.)

“No way, the soul isn’t like that at all!” (At this, the philosopher shot him a fierce look and decided to finish off his third bottle of Chambertin right then and there.)

“Then—hic-cup!—pray, sir—what—what is it?”

“Then—hic-cup!—please, sir—what—what is it?”

“That is neither here nor there, Monsieur Bon-Bon,” replied his Majesty, musingly. “I have tasted—that is to say, I have known some very bad souls, and some too—pretty good ones.” Here he smacked his lips, and, having unconsciously let fall his hand upon the volume in his pocket, was seized with a violent fit of sneezing.

“That's beside the point, Monsieur Bon-Bon,” his Majesty replied, thoughtfully. “I've experienced—let's say, I've encountered some really bad individuals, and also—some quite good ones.” He then smacked his lips, and, without realizing it, let his hand fall on the book in his pocket, which triggered a sudden fit of sneezing.

He continued.

He kept going.

“There was the soul of Cratinus—passable: Aristophanes—racy: Plato—exquisite—not your Plato, but Plato the comic poet; your Plato would have turned the stomach of Cerberus—faugh! Then let me see! there were Naevius, and Andronicus, and Plautus, and Terentius. Then there were Lucilius, and Catullus, and Naso, and Quintus Flaccus,—dear Quinty! as I called him when he sung a seculare for my amusement, while I toasted him, in pure good humor, on a fork. But they want flavor, these Romans. One fat Greek is worth a dozen of them, and besides will keep, which cannot be said of a Quirite. Let us taste your Sauterne.”

“There was the soul of Cratinus—decent: Aristophanes—vivid: Plato—refined—not your Plato, but Plato the comic poet; your Plato would have made Cerberus sick—gross! Now, let me think! There were Naevius, Andronicus, Plautus, and Terentius. Then there were Lucilius, Catullus, Naso, and Quintus Flaccus—dear Quinty! as I called him when he sang a seculare for my entertainment while I happily toasted him on a fork. But these Romans lack flavor. One hefty Greek is worth a dozen of them, plus he’ll last, which can’t be said for a Quirite. Let’s try your Sauterne.”

Bon-Bon had by this time made up his mind to the nil admirari and endeavored to hand down the bottles in question. He was, however, conscious of a strange sound in the room like the wagging of a tail. Of this, although extremely indecent in his Majesty, the philosopher took no notice:—simply kicking the dog, and requesting him to be quiet. The visitor continued:

Bon-Bon had at this point decided to be indifferent and tried to pass the bottles in question. He was, however, aware of a strange sound in the room that resembled the wagging of a tail. Despite it being quite improper for his Majesty, the philosopher ignored it—simply kicking the dog and asking him to be quiet. The visitor continued:

“I found that Horace tasted very much like Aristotle;—you know I am fond of variety. Terentius I could not have told from Menander. Naso, to my astonishment, was Nicander in disguise. Virgilius had a strong twang of Theocritus. Martial put me much in mind of Archilochus—and Titus Livius was positively Polybius and none other.”

“I found that Horace tasted a lot like Aristotle; you know I enjoy variety. I couldn’t distinguish Terentius from Menander. To my surprise, Naso was Nicander in disguise. Virgilius had a strong hint of Theocritus. Martial reminded me a lot of Archilochus—and Titus Livius was definitely Polybius and no one else.”

“Hic-cup!” here replied Bon-Bon, and his majesty proceeded:

“Hic-cup!” Bon-Bon replied, and his majesty continued:

“But if I have a penchant, Monsieur Bon-Bon—if I have a penchant, it is for a philosopher. Yet, let me tell you, sir, it is not every dev—I mean it is not every gentleman who knows how to choose a philosopher. Long ones are not good; and the best, if not carefully shelled, are apt to be a little rancid on account of the gall!”

“But if I have a preference, Monsieur Bon-Bon—if I have a preference, it is for a philosopher. However, let me tell you, sir, not every guy—I mean, not every gentleman knows how to pick a philosopher. Long ones aren’t great; and the best ones, if not properly prepared, can end up a bit spoiled because of the bitterness!”

“Shelled!”

"Got hit!"

“I mean taken out of the carcass.”

“I mean taken out of the body.”

“What do you think of a—hic-cup!—physician?”

“What do you think of a—hic-cup!—doctor?”

“Don’t mention them!—ugh! ugh! ugh!” (Here his Majesty retched violently.) “I never tasted but one—that rascal Hippocrates!—smelt of asafoetida—ugh! ugh! ugh!—caught a wretched cold washing him in the Styx—and after all he gave me the cholera morbus.”

“Don’t bring them up!—ugh! ugh! ugh!” (Here his Majesty gagged violently.) “I only ever tasted one—that scoundrel Hippocrates!—smelled like asafoetida—ugh! ugh! ugh!—caught a terrible cold washing him in the Styx—and in the end, he gave me the cholera morbus.”

“The—hiccup!—wretch!” ejaculated Bon-Bon, “the—hic-cup!—abortion of a pill-box!”—and the philosopher dropped a tear.

“The—hiccup!—wretch!” shouted Bon-Bon, “the—hic-cup!—abortion of a pill-box!”—and the philosopher shed a tear.

“After all,” continued the visitor, “after all, if a dev—if a gentleman wishes to live, he must have more talents than one or two; and with us a fat face is an evidence of diplomacy.”

“After all,” continued the visitor, “if a guy—if a gentleman wants to get by, he needs to have more skills than just one or two; and for us, a round face shows that someone is good at handling things.”

“How so?”

"How come?"

“Why, we are sometimes exceedingly pushed for provisions. You must know that, in a climate so sultry as mine, it is frequently impossible to keep a spirit alive for more than two or three hours; and after death, unless pickled immediately (and a pickled spirit is not good), they will—smell—you understand, eh? Putrefaction is always to be apprehended when the souls are consigned to us in the usual way.”

“Sometimes, we really struggle to get enough supplies. You have to understand that in a climate as hot as mine, it’s often impossible to keep a spirit intact for more than two or three hours; and after death, unless it’s pickled right away (and pickled spirits aren’t good), they will—well, you get the idea, right? Decay is always a concern when the souls are handed over to us in the usual manner.”

“Hiccup!—hiccup!—good God! how do you manage?”

“Hiccup!—hiccup!—oh my God! how do you do it?”

Here the iron lamp commenced swinging with redoubled violence, and the devil half started from his seat;—however, with a slight sigh, he recovered his composure, merely saying to our hero in a low tone: “I tell you what, Pierre Bon-Bon, we must have no more swearing.”

Here the iron lamp started swinging with even more force, and the devil jumped up slightly from his seat; however, with a slight sigh, he regained his composure, simply saying to our hero in a low voice: “I’m telling you, Pierre Bon-Bon, we can’t have any more swearing.”

The host swallowed another bumper, by way of denoting thorough comprehension and acquiescence, and the visitor continued.

The host swallowed another drink to show he understood and agreed, and the guest carried on.

“Why, there are several ways of managing. The most of us starve: some put up with the pickle: for my part I purchase my spirits vivente corpore, in which case I find they keep very well.”

“Why, there are several ways to cope. Most of us struggle to get by: some deal with it: as for me, I buy my drinks while I'm still alive, and I find they last quite well.”

“But the body!—hiccup!—the body!”

“But the body!—hic!—the body!”

“The body, the body—well, what of the body?—oh! ah! I perceive. Why, sir, the body is not at all affected by the transaction. I have made innumerable purchases of the kind in my day, and the parties never experienced any inconvenience. There were Cain and Nimrod, and Nero, and Caligula, and Dionysius, and Pisistratus, and—and a thousand others, who never knew what it was to have a soul during the latter part of their lives; yet, sir, these men adorned society. Why isn’t there A——, now, who you know as well as I? Is he not in possession of his faculties, mental and corporeal? Who writes a keener epigram? Who reasons more wittily? Who—but stay! I have his agreement in my pocket-book.”

“The body, the body—well, what about the body?—oh! ah! I see. Well, sir, the body isn’t affected by the situation at all. I’ve made countless purchases like this in my time, and the people involved never faced any problems. There were Cain and Nimrod, and Nero, and Caligula, and Dionysius, and Pisistratus, and—and a thousand others who didn’t know what it was to have a soul in the later part of their lives; yet, sir, these men enhanced society. Why isn’t there A——, now, whom you know just as well as I do? Isn’t he in possession of his mental and physical abilities? Who writes a sharper epigram? Who argues more cleverly? Who—but wait! I have his agreement in my wallet.”

Thus saying, he produced a red leather wallet, and took from it a number of papers. Upon some of these Bon-Bon caught a glimpse of the letters Machi—Maza—Robesp—with the words Caligula, George, Elizabeth. His Majesty selected a narrow slip of parchment, and from it read aloud the following words:

Thus saying, he pulled out a red leather wallet and took out several papers. On some of them, Bon-Bon caught a glimpse of the letters Machi—Maza—Robesp—along with the words Caligula, George, Elizabeth. His Majesty picked a narrow slip of parchment and read the following words aloud:

“In consideration of certain mental endowments which it is unnecessary to specify, and in further consideration of one thousand louis d’or, I being aged one year and one month, do hereby make over to the bearer of this agreement all my right, title, and appurtenance in the shadow called my soul. (Signed) A....” {*4} (Here His Majesty repeated a name which I did not feel justified in indicating more unequivocally.)

“In light of some mental abilities that don't need to be detailed, and for a further consideration of one thousand louis d’or, I, being one year and one month old, hereby transfer to the holder of this agreement all my rights, title, and belongings in the shadow known as my soul. (Signed) A....” {*4} (Here His Majesty repeated a name that I didn’t think I should specify more clearly.)

{*4} Quere-Arouet?

Quere-Arouet?

“A clever fellow that,” resumed he; “but like you, Monsieur Bon-Bon, he was mistaken about the soul. The soul a shadow, truly! The soul a shadow; Ha! ha! ha!—he! he! he!—hu! hu! hu! Only think of a fricasseed shadow!”

“A smart guy, that one,” he continued; “but like you, Monsieur Bon-Bon, he was wrong about the soul. The soul a shadow, really! The soul a shadow; Ha! ha! ha!—he! he! he!—hu! hu! hu! Just imagine a fried shadow!”

Only think—hiccup!—of a fricasséed shadow!” exclaimed our hero, whose faculties were becoming much illuminated by the profundity of his Majesty’s discourse.

Just think—hiccup!—of a fricasséed shadow!” exclaimed our hero, whose mind was becoming much clearer from the depth of his Majesty’s talk.

“Only think of a hiccup!—fricasséed shadow!! Now, damme!—hiccup!—humph! If I would have been such a—hiccup!—nincompoop! My soul, Mr.—humph!”

“Just think of a hiccup!—fricasseed shadow!! Now, damn it!—hiccup!—humph! If I had been such a—hiccup!—nincompoop! My soul, Mr.—humph!”

Your soul, Monsieur Bon-Bon?”

Your soul, Mr. Bon-Bon?”

“Yes, sir—hiccup!—my soul is—”

“Yes, sir—hic!—my soul is—”

“What, sir?”

"What is it, sir?"

No shadow, damme!”

“No shadow, damn it!”

“Did you mean to say—”

“Did you mean to say—”

“Yes, sir, my soul is—hiccup!—humph!—yes, sir.”

“Yes, sir, my soul is—hiccup!—humph!—yes, sir.”

“Did you not intend to assert—”

“Did you not mean to say—”

“My soul is—hiccup!—peculiarly qualified for—hiccup!—a—”

“My soul is—hiccup!—uniquely suited for—hiccup!—a—”

“What, sir?”

"What is it, sir?"

“Stew.”

“Soup.”

“Ha!”

“Ha!”

“Soufflee.”

“Soufflé.”

“Eh!”

"Meh!"

“Fricassee.”

“Fricassée.”

“Indeed!”

"Absolutely!"

“Ragout and fricandeau—and see here, my good fellow! I’ll let you have it—hiccup!—a bargain.” Here the philosopher slapped his Majesty upon the back.

“Ragout and fricandeau—and look here, my friend! I’ll give you a great deal—hiccup!—a bargain.” With that, the philosopher patted his Majesty on the back.

“Couldn’t think of such a thing,” said the latter calmly, at the same time rising from his seat. The metaphysician stared.

“Couldn’t imagine such a thing,” said the latter calmly, while getting up from his seat. The metaphysician stared.

“Am supplied at present,” said his Majesty.

"Right now, I'm being taken care of," said His Majesty.

“Hiccup!—e-h?” said the philosopher.

“Hiccup!—e-h?” said the thinker.

“Have no funds on hand.”

“Out of cash.”

“What?”

“Excuse me?”

“Besides, very unhandsome in me—”

"Plus, not attractive in me—"

“Sir!”

“Hey!”

“To take advantage of—”

"To capitalize on—"

“Hiccup!”

"Hic!"

“Your present disgusting and ungentlemanly situation.”

“Your current disgusting and unprofessional situation.”

Here the visitor bowed and withdrew—in what manner could not precisely be ascertained—but in a well-concerted effort to discharge a bottle at “the villain,” the slender chain was severed that depended from the ceiling, and the metaphysician prostrated by the downfall of the lamp.

Here, the visitor bowed and left—exactly how is unclear—but in a deliberate attempt to hit "the villain," the thin chain hanging from the ceiling was snapped, and the philosopher was knocked down by the falling lamp.

SOME WORDS WITH A MUMMY.

The symposium of the preceding evening had been a little too much for my nerves. I had a wretched headache, and was desperately drowsy. Instead of going out therefore to spend the evening as I had proposed, it occurred to me that I could not do a wiser thing than just eat a mouthful of supper and go immediately to bed.

The symposium from the night before had been a bit overwhelming for me. I had a terrible headache and felt really sleepy. So, instead of going out to spend the evening as I had planned, it struck me that the smartest thing to do would be to just grab a quick bite for dinner and head straight to bed.

A light supper of course. I am exceedingly fond of Welsh rabbit. More than a pound at once, however, may not at all times be advisable. Still, there can be no material objection to two. And really between two and three, there is merely a single unit of difference. I ventured, perhaps, upon four. My wife will have it five;—but, clearly, she has confounded two very distinct affairs. The abstract number, five, I am willing to admit; but, concretely, it has reference to bottles of Brown Stout, without which, in the way of condiment, Welsh rabbit is to be eschewed.

A light supper, of course. I'm really fond of Welsh rabbit. Eating more than a pound at once might not always be wise. Still, there’s really no major issue with having two. And honestly, the difference between two and three is just one. I might have pushed it to four. My wife insists it's five—but clearly, she’s mixing up two very different things. I can accept the number five in theory; however, it specifically refers to bottles of Brown Stout, which are essential as a condiment when enjoying Welsh rabbit.

Having thus concluded a frugal meal, and donned my night-cap, with the serene hope of enjoying it till noon the next day, I placed my head upon the pillow, and, through the aid of a capital conscience, fell into a profound slumber forthwith.

Having finished a light meal and put on my nightcap, with the calm hope of enjoying it until noon the next day, I laid my head on the pillow and, thanks to a clear conscience, quickly fell into a deep sleep.

But when were the hopes of humanity fulfilled? I could not have completed my third snore when there came a furious ringing at the street-door bell, and then an impatient thumping at the knocker, which awakened me at once. In a minute afterward, and while I was still rubbing my eyes, my wife thrust in my face a note, from my old friend, Doctor Ponnonner. It ran thus:

But when were humanity's hopes ever fulfilled? I could barely finish my third snore when there was a loud ringing at the front doorbell, followed by an impatient banging on the knocker, which woke me up immediately. A minute later, while I was still rubbing my eyes, my wife shoved a note from my old friend, Doctor Ponnonner, in my face. It read as follows:

“Come to me, by all means, my dear good friend, as soon as you receive this. Come and help us to rejoice. At last, by long persevering diplomacy, I have gained the assent of the Directors of the City Museum, to my examination of the Mummy—you know the one I mean. I have permission to unswathe it and open it, if desirable. A few friends only will be present—you, of course. The Mummy is now at my house, and we shall begin to unroll it at eleven to-night.

“Please come to me, my dear friend, as soon as you get this. Come and help us celebrate. Finally, after a lot of persistent negotiation, I’ve gotten the approval from the Directors of the City Museum to study the Mummy—you know the one I’m talking about. I have permission to unwrap it and open it if needed. Only a few friends will be there—you, of course. The Mummy is at my house now, and we’ll start unrolling it at eleven tonight.”

“Yours, ever,
PONNONNER.

“Yours always,
PONNONNER.

By the time I had reached the “Ponnonner,” it struck me that I was as wide awake as a man need be. I leaped out of bed in an ecstacy, overthrowing all in my way; dressed myself with a rapidity truly marvellous; and set off, at the top of my speed, for the doctor’s.

By the time I reached the “Ponnonner,” I realized I was wide awake and full of energy. I jumped out of bed in a frenzy, knocking everything over; I got dressed in a truly amazing speed and took off at full speed for the doctor’s.

There I found a very eager company assembled. They had been awaiting me with much impatience; the Mummy was extended upon the dining-table; and the moment I entered its examination was commenced.

There, I found a very eager group gathered. They had been waiting for me with great impatience; the Mummy was laid out on the dining table; and as soon as I walked in, the examination began.

It was one of a pair brought, several years previously, by Captain Arthur Sabretash, a cousin of Ponnonner’s from a tomb near Eleithias, in the Lybian mountains, a considerable distance above Thebes on the Nile. The grottoes at this point, although less magnificent than the Theban sepulchres, are of higher interest, on account of affording more numerous illustrations of the private life of the Egyptians. The chamber from which our specimen was taken, was said to be very rich in such illustrations—the walls being completely covered with fresco paintings and bas-reliefs, while statues, vases, and Mosaic work of rich patterns, indicated the vast wealth of the deceased.

It was one of a pair brought several years earlier by Captain Arthur Sabretash, a cousin of Ponnonner’s, from a tomb near Eleithias in the Libyan mountains, quite a distance above Thebes on the Nile. The grottoes in this area, while less impressive than the Theban tombs, are of greater interest because they provide more insights into the everyday life of the Egyptians. The chamber from which our specimen was taken was said to be very rich in these insights—the walls completely covered with fresco paintings and bas-reliefs, while statues, vases, and intricate Mosaic work showcased the immense wealth of the deceased.

The treasure had been deposited in the Museum precisely in the same condition in which Captain Sabretash had found it—that is to say, the coffin had not been disturbed. For eight years it had thus stood, subject only externally to public inspection. We had now, therefore, the complete Mummy at our disposal; and to those who are aware how very rarely the unransacked antique reaches our shores, it will be evident, at once that we had great reason to congratulate ourselves upon our good fortune.

The treasure had been placed in the Museum exactly as Captain Sabretash had found it—meaning the coffin hadn't been touched. For eight years, it had remained there, only open to public viewing. We now had the complete Mummy available to us, and for those who know how rarely unexamined antiques come to our shores, it will be clear that we had every reason to feel lucky about our find.

Approaching the table, I saw on it a large box, or case, nearly seven feet long, and perhaps three feet wide, by two feet and a half deep. It was oblong—not coffin-shaped. The material was at first supposed to be the wood of the sycamore (platanus), but, upon cutting into it, we found it to be pasteboard, or, more properly, papier mache, composed of papyrus. It was thickly ornamented with paintings, representing funeral scenes, and other mournful subjects—interspersed among which, in every variety of position, were certain series of hieroglyphical characters, intended, no doubt, for the name of the departed. By good luck, Mr. Gliddon formed one of our party; and he had no difficulty in translating the letters, which were simply phonetic, and represented the word Allamistakeo.

As I approached the table, I noticed a large box or case, nearly seven feet long, about three feet wide, and two and a half feet deep. It was rectangular—not coffin-shaped. Initially, we thought it was made of sycamore wood (platanus), but when we cut into it, we discovered it was actually made of pasteboard, or more accurately, papier mache, made from papyrus. It was heavily decorated with paintings depicting funeral scenes and other somber images—interspersed with various hieroglyphics that likely indicated the name of the deceased. Fortunately, Mr. Gliddon was part of our group, and he had no trouble translating the letters, which were simply phonetic and spelled out the word Allamistakeo.

We had some difficulty in getting this case open without injury; but having at length accomplished the task, we came to a second, coffin-shaped, and very considerably less in size than the exterior one, but resembling it precisely in every other respect. The interval between the two was filled with resin, which had, in some degree, defaced the colors of the interior box.

We had a bit of trouble getting this case open without damaging it, but after some effort, we finally succeeded. Inside, we found a second box that was coffin-shaped and much smaller than the outer one, but looked exactly the same in every other way. The space between the two was packed with resin, which had somewhat faded the colors of the inner box.

Upon opening this latter (which we did quite easily), we arrived at a third case, also coffin-shaped, and varying from the second one in no particular, except in that of its material, which was cedar, and still emitted the peculiar and highly aromatic odor of that wood. Between the second and the third case there was no interval—the one fitting accurately within the other.

Upon opening the last case (which we did easily), we found a third case, also coffin-shaped, that was exactly like the second one except for its material, which was cedar, and it still gave off the distinct and highly fragrant smell of that wood. There was no gap between the second and the third case—they fit perfectly into each other.

Removing the third case, we discovered and took out the body itself. We had expected to find it, as usual, enveloped in frequent rolls, or bandages, of linen; but, in place of these, we found a sort of sheath, made of papyrus, and coated with a layer of plaster, thickly gilt and painted. The paintings represented subjects connected with the various supposed duties of the soul, and its presentation to different divinities, with numerous identical human figures, intended, very probably, as portraits of the persons embalmed. Extending from head to foot was a columnar, or perpendicular, inscription, in phonetic hieroglyphics, giving again his name and titles, and the names and titles of his relations.

Removing the third case, we discovered and took out the body itself. We had expected to find it, as usual, wrapped in layers of linen; but instead, we found a sort of sheath made of papyrus and covered with a thick layer of plaster, heavily gilded and painted. The paintings depicted scenes related to the various supposed duties of the soul and its presentation to different deities, featuring many identical human figures, likely meant to be portraits of the individuals embalmed. Running from head to foot was a vertical inscription in phonetic hieroglyphics, repeating his name and titles, as well as the names and titles of his relatives.

Around the neck thus ensheathed, was a collar of cylindrical glass beads, diverse in color, and so arranged as to form images of deities, of the scarabaeus, etc., with the winged globe. Around the small of the waist was a similar collar or belt.

Around the neck, there was a collar made of cylindrical glass beads, varied in color, arranged to create images of gods, scarabs, and the winged sun disk. Around the waist was a similar collar or belt.

Stripping off the papyrus, we found the flesh in excellent preservation, with no perceptible odor. The color was reddish. The skin was hard, smooth, and glossy. The teeth and hair were in good condition. The eyes (it seemed) had been removed, and glass ones substituted, which were very beautiful and wonderfully life-like, with the exception of somewhat too determined a stare. The fingers and the nails were brilliantly gilded.

Peeling away the papyrus, we discovered the body in remarkable condition, with no noticeable smell. The color was reddish. The skin was firm, smooth, and shiny. The teeth and hair looked good. It appeared that the eyes had been taken out and replaced with beautifully crafted glass ones that looked very realistic, except they had a slightly intense stare. The fingers and nails were brightly gilded.

Mr. Gliddon was of opinion, from the redness of the epidermis, that the embalmment had been effected altogether by asphaltum; but, on scraping the surface with a steel instrument, and throwing into the fire some of the powder thus obtained, the flavor of camphor and other sweet-scented gums became apparent.

Mr. Gliddon believed that the redness of the skin indicated that the embalming was done entirely with asphalt. However, when he scraped the surface with a metal tool and tossed some of the resulting powder into the fire, the scent of camphor and other fragrant gums became clear.

We searched the corpse very carefully for the usual openings through which the entrails are extracted, but, to our surprise, we could discover none. No member of the party was at that period aware that entire or unopened mummies are not infrequently met. The brain it was customary to withdraw through the nose; the intestines through an incision in the side; the body was then shaved, washed, and salted; then laid aside for several weeks, when the operation of embalming, properly so called, began.

We searched the body very carefully for the usual openings used to remove the organs, but to our surprise, we found none. At that time, no one in the group knew that entire or unopened mummies are not uncommon. The brain was usually taken out through the nose, and the intestines were removed through an incision in the side. The body was then shaved, washed, and salted, and left for several weeks before the actual embalming process started.

As no trace of an opening could be found, Doctor Ponnonner was preparing his instruments for dissection, when I observed that it was then past two o’clock. Hereupon it was agreed to postpone the internal examination until the next evening; and we were about to separate for the present, when some one suggested an experiment or two with the Voltaic pile.

As there was no sign of an opening, Doctor Ponnonner was getting his tools ready for dissection when I noticed that it was already past two o’clock. We then decided to put off the internal examination until the next evening; just as we were getting ready to leave, someone suggested trying out a couple of experiments with the Voltaic pile.

The application of electricity to a mummy three or four thousand years old at the least, was an idea, if not very sage, still sufficiently original, and we all caught it at once. About one-tenth in earnest and nine-tenths in jest, we arranged a battery in the Doctor’s study, and conveyed thither the Egyptian.

The idea of using electricity on a mummy that's at least three or four thousand years old was not the most brilliant concept, but it was definitely unique, and we all jumped on it immediately. With about ten percent seriousness and ninety percent joking around, we set up a battery in the Doctor's study and brought the Egyptian mummy there.

It was only after much trouble that we succeeded in laying bare some portions of the temporal muscle which appeared of less stony rigidity than other parts of the frame, but which, as we had anticipated, of course, gave no indication of galvanic susceptibility when brought in contact with the wire. This, the first trial, indeed, seemed decisive, and, with a hearty laugh at our own absurdity, we were bidding each other good night, when my eyes, happening to fall upon those of the Mummy, were there immediately riveted in amazement. My brief glance, in fact, had sufficed to assure me that the orbs which we had all supposed to be glass, and which were originally noticeable for a certain wild stare, were now so far covered by the lids, that only a small portion of the tunica albuginea remained visible.

It took a lot of effort before we managed to expose some parts of the temporal muscle that seemed less rigid than other areas of the body. However, as we expected, these parts showed no signs of electrical response when we touched them with the wire. This initial experiment appeared to be conclusive, and with a good-natured laugh at our own foolishness, we were saying goodnight to each other when I accidentally caught sight of the Mummy's eyes and was immediately struck with surprise. My quick look was enough to confirm that the eyes we had all thought were glass—originally marked by a wild stare—were now mostly covered by the eyelids, leaving only a small part of the tunica albuginea visible.

With a shout I called attention to the fact, and it became immediately obvious to all.

With a shout, I pointed it out, and it became clear to everyone right away.

I cannot say that I was alarmed at the phenomenon, because “alarmed” is, in my case, not exactly the word. It is possible, however, that, but for the Brown Stout, I might have been a little nervous. As for the rest of the company, they really made no attempt at concealing the downright fright which possessed them. Doctor Ponnonner was a man to be pitied. Mr. Gliddon, by some peculiar process, rendered himself invisible. Mr. Silk Buckingham, I fancy, will scarcely be so bold as to deny that he made his way, upon all fours, under the table.

I can’t say I was scared by what happened, because “scared” isn’t exactly the right word for me. Maybe if it weren't for the Brown Stout, I might have felt a bit anxious. As for everyone else, they didn’t even try to hide their sheer terror. Doctor Ponnonner was one to feel sorry for. Mr. Gliddon somehow made himself invisible. I doubt Mr. Silk Buckingham will dare to deny that he crawled under the table on all fours.

After the first shock of astonishment, however, we resolved, as a matter of course, upon further experiment forthwith. Our operations were now directed against the great toe of the right foot. We made an incision over the outside of the exterior os sesamoideum pollicis pedis, and thus got at the root of the abductor muscle. Readjusting the battery, we now applied the fluid to the bisected nerves—when, with a movement of exceeding life-likeness, the Mummy first drew up its right knee so as to bring it nearly in contact with the abdomen, and then, straightening the limb with inconceivable force, bestowed a kick upon Doctor Ponnonner, which had the effect of discharging that gentleman, like an arrow from a catapult, through a window into the street below.

After the initial shock of surprise, we quickly decided to continue our experiments. This time, we focused on the big toe of the right foot. We made an incision on the outside of the exterior os sesamoideum pollicis pedis, and accessed the root of the abductor muscle. After readjusting the battery, we applied the current to the cut nerves—then, with a surprisingly lifelike movement, the Mummy first pulled its right knee up to almost touch its abdomen, and then, straightening the leg with incredible force, kicked Doctor Ponnonner, sending him flying like an arrow from a catapult through a window into the street below.

We rushed out en masse to bring in the mangled remains of the victim, but had the happiness to meet him upon the staircase, coming up in an unaccountable hurry, brimful of the most ardent philosophy, and more than ever impressed with the necessity of prosecuting our experiment with vigor and with zeal.

We hurried out en masse to gather the mangled remains of the victim, but were surprised to see him on the staircase, coming up in a strange rush, overflowing with the most passionate ideas, and more convinced than ever of the need to pursue our experiment with energy and enthusiasm.

It was by his advice, accordingly, that we made, upon the spot, a profound incision into the tip of the subject’s nose, while the Doctor himself, laying violent hands upon it, pulled it into vehement contact with the wire.

It was on his recommendation that we made a deep cut at the tip of the subject's nose right there, while the Doctor himself, forcefully grabbing it, pressed it hard against the wire.

Morally and physically—figuratively and literally—was the effect electric. In the first place, the corpse opened its eyes and winked very rapidly for several minutes, as does Mr. Barnes in the pantomime; in the second place, it sneezed; in the third, it sat upon end; in the fourth, it shook its fist in Doctor Ponnonner’s face; in the fifth, turning to Messieurs Gliddon and Buckingham, it addressed them, in very capital Egyptian, thus:

Morally and physically—figuratively and literally—the effect was electrifying. First, the corpse opened its eyes and winked rapidly for several minutes, just like Mr. Barnes in the pantomime; second, it sneezed; third, it sat up; fourth, it shook its fist in Dr. Ponnonner's face; and fifth, turning to Messieurs Gliddon and Buckingham, it addressed them in perfect Egyptian, saying:

“I must say, gentlemen, that I am as much surprised as I am mortified at your behavior. Of Doctor Ponnonner nothing better was to be expected. He is a poor little fat fool who knows no better. I pity and forgive him. But you, Mr. Gliddon—and you, Silk—who have travelled and resided in Egypt until one might imagine you to the manor born—you, I say who have been so much among us that you speak Egyptian fully as well, I think, as you write your mother tongue—you, whom I have always been led to regard as the firm friend of the mummies—I really did anticipate more gentlemanly conduct from you. What am I to think of your standing quietly by and seeing me thus unhandsomely used? What am I to suppose by your permitting Tom, Dick, and Harry to strip me of my coffins, and my clothes, in this wretchedly cold climate? In what light (to come to the point) am I to regard your aiding and abetting that miserable little villain, Doctor Ponnonner, in pulling me by the nose?”

“I must say, gentlemen, that I’m just as surprised as I am embarrassed by your behavior. I didn’t expect anything better from Doctor Ponnonner. He’s just a pathetic little fool who doesn’t know any better. I feel sorry for him and can forgive him. But you, Mr. Gliddon—and you, Silk—who have traveled and lived in Egypt to the point that one might think you’re practically locals—you, I say, who have been around us so much that you speak Egyptian as well as you write your native language—you, whom I’ve always considered to be a true friend of the mummies—I really expected better behavior from you. What am I supposed to think about your standing by and watching me get treated so poorly? What should I assume by you allowing Tom, Dick, and Harry to strip me of my coffins and clothes in this painfully cold weather? How am I supposed to view your support of that miserable little villain, Doctor Ponnonner, as he pulls me by the nose?”

It will be taken for granted, no doubt, that upon hearing this speech under the circumstances, we all either made for the door, or fell into violent hysterics, or went off in a general swoon. One of these three things was, I say, to be expected. Indeed each and all of these lines of conduct might have been very plausibly pursued. And, upon my word, I am at a loss to know how or why it was that we pursued neither the one nor the other. But, perhaps, the true reason is to be sought in the spirit of the age, which proceeds by the rule of contraries altogether, and is now usually admitted as the solution of every thing in the way of paradox and impossibility. Or, perhaps, after all, it was only the Mummy’s exceedingly natural and matter-of-course air that divested his words of the terrible. However this may be, the facts are clear, and no member of our party betrayed any very particular trepidation, or seemed to consider that any thing had gone very especially wrong.

It will be taken for granted, no doubt, that when we heard this speech under the circumstances, we either rushed for the exit, broke into intense hysterics, or fainted altogether. One of those three reactions was, I would say, expected. In fact, any of those responses could have been completely reasonable. Yet, to be honest, I can’t understand how or why we didn’t react in any of those ways. Maybe the real explanation lies in the spirit of the times, which tends to operate in opposition and is now generally accepted as the answer to everything paradoxical and impossible. Or perhaps it was simply the Mummy’s surprisingly casual and straightforward demeanor that made his words feel less alarming. Regardless, the facts are clear: none of us in the group showed any notable nervousness or seemed to think that anything had particularly gone wrong.

For my part I was convinced it was all right, and merely stepped aside, out of the range of the Egyptian’s fist. Doctor Ponnonner thrust his hands into his breeches’ pockets, looked hard at the Mummy, and grew excessively red in the face. Mr. Glidden stroked his whiskers and drew up the collar of his shirt. Mr. Buckingham hung down his head, and put his right thumb into the left corner of his mouth.

For my part, I was sure everything was fine, so I just stepped aside, out of the way of the Egyptian’s fist. Doctor Ponnonner shoved his hands into his pants pockets, stared intensely at the Mummy, and turned extremely red in the face. Mr. Glidden stroked his beard and pulled up the collar of his shirt. Mr. Buckingham lowered his head and put his right thumb in the left corner of his mouth.

The Egyptian regarded him with a severe countenance for some minutes and at length, with a sneer, said:

The Egyptian looked at him with a serious expression for a few minutes and finally, with a smirk, said:

“Why don’t you speak, Mr. Buckingham? Did you hear what I asked you, or not? Do take your thumb out of your mouth!”

“Why aren’t you speaking, Mr. Buckingham? Did you hear what I asked you or not? Please take your thumb out of your mouth!”

Mr. Buckingham, hereupon, gave a slight start, took his right thumb out of the left corner of his mouth, and, by way of indemnification inserted his left thumb in the right corner of the aperture above-mentioned.

Mr. Buckingham then flinched a bit, removed his right thumb from the left corner of his mouth, and, as a sort of compensation, stuck his left thumb in the right corner of the previously mentioned gap.

Not being able to get an answer from Mr. B., the figure turned peevishly to Mr. Gliddon, and, in a peremptory tone, demanded in general terms what we all meant.

Not getting a response from Mr. B., the figure turned irritably to Mr. Gliddon and, in a commanding tone, asked in general what we all meant.

Mr. Gliddon replied at great length, in phonetics; and but for the deficiency of American printing-offices in hieroglyphical type, it would afford me much pleasure to record here, in the original, the whole of his very excellent speech.

Mr. Gliddon replied at length, using phonetics; and if American printing presses had hieroglyphic type, I would be very pleased to include his entire excellent speech here in the original.

I may as well take this occasion to remark, that all the subsequent conversation in which the Mummy took a part, was carried on in primitive Egyptian, through the medium (so far as concerned myself and other untravelled members of the company)—through the medium, I say, of Messieurs Gliddon and Buckingham, as interpreters. These gentlemen spoke the mother tongue of the Mummy with inimitable fluency and grace; but I could not help observing that (owing, no doubt, to the introduction of images entirely modern, and, of course, entirely novel to the stranger) the two travellers were reduced, occasionally, to the employment of sensible forms for the purpose of conveying a particular meaning. Mr. Gliddon, at one period, for example, could not make the Egyptian comprehend the term “politics,” until he sketched upon the wall, with a bit of charcoal a little carbuncle-nosed gentleman, out at elbows, standing upon a stump, with his left leg drawn back, right arm thrown forward, with his fist shut, the eyes rolled up toward Heaven, and the mouth open at an angle of ninety degrees. Just in the same way Mr. Buckingham failed to convey the absolutely modern idea “wig,” until (at Doctor Ponnonner’s suggestion) he grew very pale in the face, and consented to take off his own.

I might as well take this opportunity to note that all the conversation involving the Mummy was carried out in primitive Egyptian, with the help—at least for me and other untraveled members of the group—of Messieurs Gliddon and Buckingham as interpreters. These gentlemen spoke the Mummy's mother tongue with unmatched fluency and elegance, but I couldn't help noticing that (probably due to the introduction of completely modern images that were entirely new to the stranger) the two travelers occasionally had to resort to using visual aids to convey specific meanings. For instance, at one point, Mr. Gliddon couldn’t get the Egyptian to understand the word “politics” until he drew on the wall with a piece of charcoal a little man with a carbuncle nose, tattered clothes, standing on a stump, his left leg pulled back, right arm thrust forward with a clenched fist, eyes rolled up toward Heaven, and mouth open at a right angle. Similarly, Mr. Buckingham struggled to communicate the modern concept of “wig” until (at Doctor Ponnonner’s suggestion) he turned quite pale and agreed to take off his own.

It will be readily understood that Mr. Gliddon’s discourse turned chiefly upon the vast benefits accruing to science from the unrolling and disembowelling of mummies; apologizing, upon this score, for any disturbance that might have been occasioned him, in particular, the individual Mummy called Allamistakeo; and concluding with a mere hint (for it could scarcely be considered more) that, as these little matters were now explained, it might be as well to proceed with the investigation intended. Here Doctor Ponnonner made ready his instruments.

It's easy to see that Mr. Gliddon's talk focused mainly on the huge benefits science gains from unrolling and examining mummies. He apologized for any inconvenience this may have caused him, especially regarding the specific mummy named Allamistakeo. He wrapped up with a brief suggestion (which hardly counted as more than that) that since these small issues were now clarified, it would be a good idea to continue with the planned investigation. At this point, Doctor Ponnonner prepared his instruments.

In regard to the latter suggestions of the orator, it appears that Allamistakeo had certain scruples of conscience, the nature of which I did not distinctly learn; but he expressed himself satisfied with the apologies tendered, and, getting down from the table, shook hands with the company all round.

Regarding the latter suggestions from the speaker, it seems that Allamistakeo had some moral concerns that I didn't fully understand; however, he said he was okay with the apologies offered and, getting up from the table, shook hands with everyone in the room.

When this ceremony was at an end, we immediately busied ourselves in repairing the damages which our subject had sustained from the scalpel. We sewed up the wound in his temple, bandaged his foot, and applied a square inch of black plaster to the tip of his nose.

When the ceremony was over, we quickly got to work fixing the injuries our subject had suffered from the scalpel. We stitched up the wound on his temple, wrapped his foot, and put a square inch of black adhesive bandage on the tip of his nose.

It was now observed that the Count (this was the title, it seems, of Allamistakeo) had a slight fit of shivering—no doubt from the cold. The Doctor immediately repaired to his wardrobe, and soon returned with a black dress coat, made in Jennings’ best manner, a pair of sky-blue plaid pantaloons with straps, a pink gingham chemise, a flapped vest of brocade, a white sack overcoat, a walking cane with a hook, a hat with no brim, patent-leather boots, straw-colored kid gloves, an eye-glass, a pair of whiskers, and a waterfall cravat. Owing to the disparity of size between the Count and the doctor (the proportion being as two to one), there was some little difficulty in adjusting these habiliments upon the person of the Egyptian; but when all was arranged, he might have been said to be dressed. Mr. Gliddon, therefore, gave him his arm, and led him to a comfortable chair by the fire, while the Doctor rang the bell upon the spot and ordered a supply of cigars and wine.

It was now noticed that the Count (that was apparently the title of Allamistakeo) had a slight shiver—probably from the cold. The Doctor quickly went to his wardrobe and soon returned with a stylish black dress coat, a pair of sky-blue plaid pants with straps, a pink gingham shirt, a flapped brocade vest, a white overcoat, a walking cane with a hook, a brimless hat, patent-leather boots, straw-colored kid gloves, a monocle, a pair of sideburns, and a fancy cravat. Due to the size difference between the Count and the doctor (the ratio being about two to one), there was a bit of trouble fitting these clothes on the Egyptian; but once everything was set, he could be considered dressed. Mr. Gliddon then offered him his arm and led him to a comfy chair by the fire, while the Doctor rang the bell right there and ordered some cigars and wine.

The conversation soon grew animated. Much curiosity was, of course, expressed in regard to the somewhat remarkable fact of Allamistakeo’s still remaining alive.

The conversation quickly became lively. Everyone was definitely curious about the somewhat remarkable fact that Allamistakeo was still alive.

“I should have thought,” observed Mr. Buckingham, “that it is high time you were dead.”

“I should have thought,” Mr. Buckingham remarked, “that it’s about time you were dead.”

“Why,” replied the Count, very much astonished, “I am little more than seven hundred years old! My father lived a thousand, and was by no means in his dotage when he died.”

“Why,” replied the Count, very surprised, “I’m just a little over seven hundred years old! My father lived to be a thousand and was far from being senile when he died.”

Here ensued a brisk series of questions and computations, by means of which it became evident that the antiquity of the Mummy had been grossly misjudged. It had been five thousand and fifty years and some months since he had been consigned to the catacombs at Eleithias.

Here followed a quick series of questions and calculations, which revealed that the age of the Mummy had been seriously misestimated. It had been five thousand and fifty years and a few months since he had been placed in the catacombs at Eleithias.

“But my remark,” resumed Mr. Buckingham, “had no reference to your age at the period of interment (I am willing to grant, in fact, that you are still a young man), and my illusion was to the immensity of time during which, by your own showing, you must have been done up in asphaltum.”

“But my comment,” Mr. Buckingham continued, “wasn't about your age at the time of the burial (I admit, you’re still a young man), but rather about the vast span of time during which, as you’ve stated, you must have been preserved in asphaltum.”

“In what?” said the Count.

"In what?" asked the Count.

“In asphaltum,” persisted Mr. B.

“In asphalt,” persisted Mr. B.

“Ah, yes; I have some faint notion of what you mean; it might be made to answer, no doubt—but in my time we employed scarcely any thing else than the Bichloride of Mercury.”

“Ah, yes; I have a bit of an idea of what you mean; it could probably work, no doubt—but in my time we used hardly anything other than Bichloride of Mercury.”

“But what we are especially at a loss to understand,” said Doctor Ponnonner, “is how it happens that, having been dead and buried in Egypt five thousand years ago, you are here to-day all alive and looking so delightfully well.”

“But what we're really struggling to understand,” said Doctor Ponnonner, “is how, after being dead and buried in Egypt five thousand years ago, you’re here today totally alive and looking so wonderfully well.”

“Had I been, as you say, dead,” replied the Count, “it is more than probable that dead, I should still be; for I perceive you are yet in the infancy of Galvanism, and cannot accomplish with it what was a common thing among us in the old days. But the fact is, I fell into catalepsy, and it was considered by my best friends that I was either dead or should be; they accordingly embalmed me at once—I presume you are aware of the chief principle of the embalming process?”

“Had I been, as you say, dead,” replied the Count, “it's likely that I still would be dead, because I see that you're just beginning to understand Galvanism, and you can’t do with it what we could do easily back in the day. The truth is, I fell into a cataleptic state, and my closest friends thought I was either dead or was going to be, so they embalmed me right away—I assume you know the main principle behind the embalming process?”

“Why, not altogether.”

“Not really.”

“Ah, I perceive—a deplorable condition of ignorance! Well I cannot enter into details just now: but it is necessary to explain that to embalm (properly speaking), in Egypt, was to arrest indefinitely all the animal functions subjected to the process. I use the word ‘animal’ in its widest sense, as including the physical not more than the moral and vital being. I repeat that the leading principle of embalmment consisted, with us, in the immediately arresting, and holding in perpetual abeyance, all the animal functions subjected to the process. To be brief, in whatever condition the individual was, at the period of embalmment, in that condition he remained. Now, as it is my good fortune to be of the blood of the Scarabaeus, I was embalmed alive, as you see me at present.”

“Ah, I see—a sad state of ignorance! I can't go into details right now, but it’s important to explain that to embalm someone (strictly speaking) in Egypt meant to stop all the bodily functions involved in the process indefinitely. I use the term ‘bodily’ in its broadest sense, referring not just to the physical but also to the moral and vital aspects of being. I emphasize that the main principle of embalming for us was to immediately stop and keep all bodily functions involved in the process in a state of perpetual suspension. To put it simply, whatever condition a person was in at the time of embalming, that’s the state they remained in. Now, since I am fortunate to be of the blood of the Scarabaeus, I was embalmed while alive, just as you see me now.”

“The blood of the Scarabaeus!” exclaimed Doctor Ponnonner.

“The blood of the Scarabaeus!” shouted Doctor Ponnonner.

“Yes. The Scarabaeus was the insignium or the ‘arms,’ of a very distinguished and very rare patrician family. To be ‘of the blood of the Scarabaeus,’ is merely to be one of that family of which the Scarabaeus is the insignium. I speak figuratively.”

“Yes. The Scarabaeus was the symbol or the ‘crest’ of a very distinguished and rare noble family. To be ‘of the blood of the Scarabaeus’ simply means to be a member of that family, of which the Scarabaeus is the symbol. I’m speaking figuratively.”

“But what has this to do with you being alive?”

“But what does this have to do with you being alive?”

“Why, it is the general custom in Egypt to deprive a corpse, before embalmment, of its bowels and brains; the race of the Scarabaei alone did not coincide with the custom. Had I not been a Scarabeus, therefore, I should have been without bowels and brains; and without either it is inconvenient to live.”

“Actually, it’s a common practice in Egypt to remove the organs and brain from a corpse before embalming; only the Scarabaei don’t follow this custom. If I hadn’t been a Scarabeus, I would have been left without organs and a brain; and it’s pretty hard to live without either.”

“I perceive that,” said Mr. Buckingham, “and I presume that all the entire mummies that come to hand are of the race of Scarabaei.”

“I see that,” said Mr. Buckingham, “and I assume that all the mummies we find are from the Scarabaei race.”

“Beyond doubt.”

“Without a doubt.”

“I thought,” said Mr. Gliddon, very meekly, “that the Scarabaeus was one of the Egyptian gods.”

“I thought,” said Mr. Gliddon, very softly, “that the Scarabaeus was one of the Egyptian gods.”

“One of the Egyptian what?” exclaimed the Mummy, starting to its feet.

“One of the Egyptian what?” exclaimed the Mummy, getting to its feet.

“Gods!” repeated the traveller.

“Gods!” the traveler repeated.

“Mr. Gliddon, I really am astonished to hear you talk in this style,” said the Count, resuming his chair. “No nation upon the face of the earth has ever acknowledged more than one god. The Scarabaeus, the Ibis, etc., were with us (as similar creatures have been with others) the symbols, or media, through which we offered worship to the Creator too august to be more directly approached.”

“Mr. Gliddon, I’m truly surprised to hear you speak like this,” said the Count, settling back into his chair. “No nation on this planet has ever recognized more than one god. The Scarabaeus, the Ibis, and so on were, for us (as similar creatures have been for others), the symbols, or channels, through which we worshiped the Creator, who is too great to be approached directly.”

There was here a pause. At length the colloquy was renewed by Doctor Ponnonner.

There was a pause here. Eventually, Doctor Ponnonner resumed the conversation.

“It is not improbable, then, from what you have explained,” said he, “that among the catacombs near the Nile there may exist other mummies of the Scarabaeus tribe, in a condition of vitality?”

“It’s not unlikely, based on what you’ve said,” he stated, “that among the catacombs near the Nile, there might be other mummies from the Scarabaeus tribe, still in a state of vitality?”

“There can be no question of it,” replied the Count; “all the Scarabaei embalmed accidentally while alive, are alive now. Even some of those purposely so embalmed, may have been overlooked by their executors, and still remain in the tomb.”

“There’s no doubt about it,” replied the Count; “all the Scarabaei that were accidentally embalmed while alive are alive now. Even some of those who were intentionally embalmed might have been missed by their handlers and could still be in the tomb.”

“Will you be kind enough to explain,” I said, “what you mean by ‘purposely so embalmed’?”

“Could you please explain,” I asked, “what you mean by ‘purposely so embalmed’?”

“With great pleasure!” answered the Mummy, after surveying me leisurely through his eye-glass—for it was the first time I had ventured to address him a direct question.

"Absolutely!" replied the Mummy, taking his time to look me over through his eyeglass—this was the first time I had dared to ask him a direct question.

“With great pleasure,” he said. “The usual duration of man’s life, in my time, was about eight hundred years. Few men died, unless by most extraordinary accident, before the age of six hundred; few lived longer than a decade of centuries; but eight were considered the natural term. After the discovery of the embalming principle, as I have already described it to you, it occurred to our philosophers that a laudable curiosity might be gratified, and, at the same time, the interests of science much advanced, by living this natural term in installments. In the case of history, indeed, experience demonstrated that something of this kind was indispensable. An historian, for example, having attained the age of five hundred, would write a book with great labor and then get himself carefully embalmed; leaving instructions to his executors pro tem., that they should cause him to be revivified after the lapse of a certain period—say five or six hundred years. Resuming existence at the expiration of this time, he would invariably find his great work converted into a species of hap-hazard note-book—that is to say, into a kind of literary arena for the conflicting guesses, riddles, and personal squabbles of whole herds of exasperated commentators. These guesses, etc., which passed under the name of annotations, or emendations, were found so completely to have enveloped, distorted, and overwhelmed the text, that the author had to go about with a lantern to discover his own book. When discovered, it was never worth the trouble of the search. After re-writing it throughout, it was regarded as the bounden duty of the historian to set himself to work immediately in correcting, from his own private knowledge and experience, the traditions of the day concerning the epoch at which he had originally lived. Now this process of re-scription and personal rectification, pursued by various individual sages from time to time, had the effect of preventing our history from degenerating into absolute fable.”

“With great pleasure,” he said. “The typical lifespan of a person in my time was about eight hundred years. Few people died, unless through something very unusual, before they reached six hundred; and few lived for more than a thousand years—though eight hundred was seen as the natural limit. After we discovered the embalming method, as I mentioned before, our philosophers realized that a commendable curiosity could be satisfied while also advancing science by living this natural term in stages. In the case of history, past experience clearly showed that this approach was necessary. For instance, a historian who reached five hundred would painstakingly write a book, then have themselves carefully embalmed, leaving instructions for their temporary executors to bring them back to life after a certain period—say five or six hundred years. When they returned to life at that time, they would always find their important work had turned into a random collection of notes—essentially a literary battleground filled with conflicting theories, puzzles, and personal disputes from many frustrated commentators. These theories, which were called annotations or emendations, completely obscured, twisted, and overwhelmed the original text, forcing the author to search for their own book with a lantern. When found, it was never worth the effort. After rewriting it entirely, the historian considered it their duty to immediately correct the widely accepted beliefs of the day about the period in which they originally lived. This process of rewriting and personal correction, undertaken by various scholars over time, helped keep our history from slipping into complete myth.”

“I beg your pardon,” said Doctor Ponnonner at this point, laying his hand gently upon the arm of the Egyptian—“I beg your pardon, sir, but may I presume to interrupt you for one moment?”

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” said Doctor Ponnonner at this point, gently placing his hand on the arm of the Egyptian. “I’m sorry, sir, but may I take a moment of your time?”

“By all means, sir,” replied the Count, drawing up.

“Of course, sir,” replied the Count, straightening up.

“I merely wished to ask you a question,” said the Doctor. “You mentioned the historian’s personal correction of traditions respecting his own epoch. Pray, sir, upon an average what proportion of these Kabbala were usually found to be right?”

“I just wanted to ask you a question,” said the Doctor. “You talked about the historian’s personal corrections of the traditions from his own time. So, sir, on average, what proportion of these Kabbala were usually found to be accurate?”

“The Kabbala, as you properly term them, sir, were generally discovered to be precisely on a par with the facts recorded in the un-re-written histories themselves;—that is to say, not one individual iota of either was ever known, under any circumstances, to be not totally and radically wrong.”

“The Kabbala, as you correctly call them, sir, were generally found to be entirely consistent with the facts recorded in the original histories; in other words, not a single detail from either was ever known, in any situation, to be anything other than completely and fundamentally incorrect.”

“But since it is quite clear,” resumed the Doctor, “that at least five thousand years have elapsed since your entombment, I take it for granted that your histories at that period, if not your traditions were sufficiently explicit on that one topic of universal interest, the Creation, which took place, as I presume you are aware, only about ten centuries before.”

“But since it’s obvious,” the Doctor continued, “that at least five thousand years have passed since you were buried, I assume that your histories from that time, if not your traditions, were clear enough on that one topic of universal interest, the Creation, which took place, as I believe you know, only about a thousand years before.”

“Sir!” said the Count Allamistakeo.

“Sir!” said Count Allamistakeo.

The Doctor repeated his remarks, but it was only after much additional explanation that the foreigner could be made to comprehend them. The latter at length said, hesitatingly:

The Doctor repeated what he said, but it took a lot more explanation before the foreigner could understand it. Finally, the foreigner said, hesitantly:

“The ideas you have suggested are to me, I confess, utterly novel. During my time I never knew any one to entertain so singular a fancy as that the universe (or this world if you will have it so) ever had a beginning at all. I remember once, and once only, hearing something remotely hinted, by a man of many speculations, concerning the origin of the human race; and by this individual, the very word Adam (or Red Earth), which you make use of, was employed. He employed it, however, in a generical sense, with reference to the spontaneous germination from rank soil (just as a thousand of the lower genera of creatures are germinated)—the spontaneous germination, I say, of five vast hordes of men, simultaneously upspringing in five distinct and nearly equal divisions of the globe.”

“The ideas you’ve suggested are completely new to me, I have to admit. In my lifetime, I’ve never encountered anyone who believed that the universe (or this world, if you prefer) ever had a beginning at all. I remember only once hearing someone, a person with many theories, hint at the origin of the human race; and this individual used the very word Adam (or Red Earth) that you mentioned. However, he used it in a general sense, referring to the spontaneous emergence from fertile soil (just as thousands of lower species emerge)—the spontaneous emergence, I mean, of five large groups of people, all springing up at the same time in five distinct and nearly equal parts of the world.”

Here, in general, the company shrugged their shoulders, and one or two of us touched our foreheads with a very significant air. Mr. Silk Buckingham, first glancing slightly at the occiput and then at the sinciput of Allamistakeo, spoke as follows:

Here, generally, the group shrugged and one or two of us tapped our foreheads with a significant expression. Mr. Silk Buckingham, first glancing briefly at the back of Allamistakeo's head and then at his forehead, spoke as follows:

“The long duration of human life in your time, together with the occasional practice of passing it, as you have explained, in installments, must have had, indeed, a strong tendency to the general development and conglomeration of knowledge. I presume, therefore, that we are to attribute the marked inferiority of the old Egyptians in all particulars of science, when compared with the moderns, and more especially with the Yankees, altogether to the superior solidity of the Egyptian skull.”

“The long lifespan of people in your era, along with the occasional practice of extending it in phases, as you’ve mentioned, must have strongly contributed to the overall growth and accumulation of knowledge. Therefore, I assume we should attribute the significant shortcomings of the ancient Egyptians in all areas of science, especially when compared to modern times and particularly to the Yankees, entirely to the greater density of the Egyptian skull.”

“I confess again,” replied the Count, with much suavity, “that I am somewhat at a loss to comprehend you; pray, to what particulars of science do you allude?”

“I confess again,” replied the Count, with much charm, “that I am a bit confused by you; please, what specific areas of science are you referring to?”

Here our whole party, joining voices, detailed, at great length, the assumptions of phrenology and the marvels of animal magnetism.

Here our entire group, joining voices, elaborated extensively on the theories of phrenology and the wonders of animal magnetism.

Having heard us to an end, the Count proceeded to relate a few anecdotes, which rendered it evident that prototypes of Gall and Spurzheim had flourished and faded in Egypt so long ago as to have been nearly forgotten, and that the manoeuvres of Mesmer were really very contemptible tricks when put in collation with the positive miracles of the Theban savans, who created lice and a great many other similar things.

After listening to us until we finished, the Count started sharing a few stories that made it clear that the ideas of Gall and Spurzheim had existed and disappeared in Egypt so long ago that they were almost forgotten. He pointed out that Mesmer's tricks were actually quite pathetic when compared to the real miracles performed by the scholars from Thebes, who created lice and many other similar things.

I here asked the Count if his people were able to calculate eclipses. He smiled rather contemptuously, and said they were.

I asked the Count if his people could calculate eclipses. He smiled a bit mockingly and said they could.

This put me a little out, but I began to make other inquiries in regard to his astronomical knowledge, when a member of the company, who had never as yet opened his mouth, whispered in my ear, that for information on this head, I had better consult Ptolemy (whoever Ptolemy is), as well as one Plutarch de facie lunae.

This took me by surprise a bit, but I started asking more questions about his knowledge of astronomy when someone in the group, who hadn't spoken up until then, whispered to me that for information on this topic, I should check out Ptolemy (whoever that is) and also Plutarch's *On the Face in the Moon*.

I then questioned the Mummy about burning-glasses and lenses, and, in general, about the manufacture of glass; but I had not made an end of my queries before the silent member again touched me quietly on the elbow, and begged me for God’s sake to take a peep at Diodorus Siculus. As for the Count, he merely asked me, in the way of reply, if we moderns possessed any such microscopes as would enable us to cut cameos in the style of the Egyptians. While I was thinking how I should answer this question, little Doctor Ponnonner committed himself in a very extraordinary way.

I then asked the Mummy about burning glasses and lenses, and, in general, about how glass is made; but I hadn’t finished my questions when the quiet member touched my elbow gently and urged me to take a look at Diodorus Siculus. As for the Count, he just replied by asking me if we moderns have any microscopes that would let us carve cameos like the Egyptians. While I was figuring out how to respond to this question, little Doctor Ponnonner made a very surprising comment.

“Look at our architecture!” he exclaimed, greatly to the indignation of both the travellers, who pinched him black and blue to no purpose.

“Check out our architecture!” he shouted, much to the annoyance of both travelers, who pinched him hard to no effect.

“Look,” he cried with enthusiasm, “at the Bowling-Green Fountain in New York! or if this be too vast a contemplation, regard for a moment the Capitol at Washington, D. C.!”—and the good little medical man went on to detail very minutely, the proportions of the fabric to which he referred. He explained that the portico alone was adorned with no less than four and twenty columns, five feet in diameter, and ten feet apart.

“Look,” he exclaimed excitedly, “at the Bowling-Green Fountain in New York! Or if that’s too grand to think about, take a moment to look at the Capitol in Washington, D.C.!”—and the eager little doctor went on to describe in detail the dimensions of the building he mentioned. He explained that the portico alone had twenty-four columns, each five feet in diameter and ten feet apart.

The Count said that he regretted not being able to remember, just at that moment, the precise dimensions of any one of the principal buildings of the city of Aznac, whose foundations were laid in the night of Time, but the ruins of which were still standing, at the epoch of his entombment, in a vast plain of sand to the westward of Thebes. He recollected, however, (talking of the porticoes,) that one affixed to an inferior palace in a kind of suburb called Carnac, consisted of a hundred and forty-four columns, thirty-seven feet in circumference, and twenty-five feet apart. The approach to this portico, from the Nile, was through an avenue two miles long, composed of sphynxes, statues, and obelisks, twenty, sixty, and a hundred feet in height. The palace itself (as well as he could remember) was, in one direction, two miles long, and might have been altogether about seven in circuit. Its walls were richly painted all over, within and without, with hieroglyphics. He would not pretend to assert that even fifty or sixty of the Doctor’s Capitols might have been built within these walls, but he was by no means sure that two or three hundred of them might not have been squeezed in with some trouble. That palace at Carnac was an insignificant little building after all. He (the Count), however, could not conscientiously refuse to admit the ingenuity, magnificence, and superiority of the Fountain at the Bowling Green, as described by the Doctor. Nothing like it, he was forced to allow, had ever been seen in Egypt or elsewhere.

The Count expressed regret that he couldn't recall the exact measurements of any of the main buildings in the city of Aznac, which were established in ancient times, but whose ruins were still visible, at the time of his burial, on a vast sandy plain to the west of Thebes. He did remember, while discussing the porticoes, that one attached to a smaller palace in a suburb called Carnac had one hundred and forty-four columns, each thirty-seven feet around and twenty-five feet apart. The path leading to this portico from the Nile stretched two miles and was lined with sphinxes, statues, and obelisks ranging in height from twenty to a hundred feet. The palace itself, as best as he could recall, was two miles long in one direction and about seven miles around in total. Its walls were adorned with colorful hieroglyphics both inside and out. He wouldn't claim that even fifty or sixty of the Doctor’s Capitols could fit within those walls, but he wasn’t entirely sure that two or three hundred of them couldn't be crammed in with some effort. That palace at Carnac was actually a rather modest structure. Nonetheless, he (the Count) couldn't honestly deny the cleverness, grandeur, and excellence of the Fountain at the Bowling Green, as described by the Doctor. He had to admit that nothing like it had ever been seen in Egypt or anywhere else.

I here asked the Count what he had to say to our railroads.

I asked the Count what he thought about our railroads.

“Nothing,” he replied, “in particular.” They were rather slight, rather ill-conceived, and clumsily put together. They could not be compared, of course, with the vast, level, direct, iron-grooved causeways upon which the Egyptians conveyed entire temples and solid obelisks of a hundred and fifty feet in altitude.

“Nothing,” he said, “specifically.” They were somewhat thin, poorly thought out, and awkwardly assembled. They couldn’t be compared, of course, to the vast, flat, straight, iron-grooved roads that the Egyptians used to transport entire temples and solid obelisks standing one hundred and fifty feet tall.

I spoke of our gigantic mechanical forces.

I talked about our massive mechanical forces.

He agreed that we knew something in that way, but inquired how I should have gone to work in getting up the imposts on the lintels of even the little palace at Carnac.

He agreed that we knew something in that way, but asked how I would have gone about collecting the taxes on the lintels of even the small palace at Carnac.

This question I concluded not to hear, and demanded if he had any idea of Artesian wells; but he simply raised his eyebrows; while Mr. Gliddon winked at me very hard and said, in a low tone, that one had been recently discovered by the engineers employed to bore for water in the Great Oasis.

This question I decided not to address and asked if he knew anything about Artesian wells; he just raised his eyebrows. Meanwhile, Mr. Gliddon winked at me intently and said quietly that one had been recently found by the engineers working to drill for water in the Great Oasis.

I then mentioned our steel; but the foreigner elevated his nose, and asked me if our steel could have executed the sharp carved work seen on the obelisks, and which was wrought altogether by edge-tools of copper.

I then brought up our steel; but the foreigner raised his nose and asked me if our steel could have created the intricate carvings seen on the obelisks, which were entirely made using copper tools.

This disconcerted us so greatly that we thought it advisable to vary the attack to Metaphysics. We sent for a copy of a book called the “Dial,” and read out of it a chapter or two about something that is not very clear, but which the Bostonians call the Great Movement of Progress.

This upset us so much that we thought it would be best to switch our approach to Metaphysics. We ordered a copy of a book called the “Dial” and read a chapter or two about some unclear topic, but what the people in Boston refer to as the Great Movement of Progress.

The Count merely said that Great Movements were awfully common things in his day, and as for Progress, it was at one time quite a nuisance, but it never progressed.

The Count just mentioned that major changes were pretty common in his time, and as for Progress, it was once a real bother, but it never actually moved forward.

We then spoke of the great beauty and importance of Democracy, and were at much trouble in impressing the Count with a due sense of the advantages we enjoyed in living where there was suffrage ad libitum, and no king.

We then talked about the great beauty and importance of Democracy, and we worked hard to impress the Count with a proper understanding of the benefits we had living in a place with unlimited voting rights and no king.

He listened with marked interest, and in fact seemed not a little amused. When we had done, he said that, a great while ago, there had occurred something of a very similar sort. Thirteen Egyptian provinces determined all at once to be free, and to set a magnificent example to the rest of mankind. They assembled their wise men, and concocted the most ingenious constitution it is possible to conceive. For a while they managed remarkably well; only their habit of bragging was prodigious. The thing ended, however, in the consolidation of the thirteen states, with some fifteen or twenty others, in the most odious and insupportable despotism that was ever heard of upon the face of the Earth.

He listened with clear interest and actually seemed quite amused. When we finished, he mentioned that a long time ago, something very similar had happened. Thirteen Egyptian provinces suddenly decided to be free and to set a great example for the rest of humanity. They gathered their wise men and created the most clever constitution you can imagine. For a while, they did remarkably well; however, their tendency to brag was enormous. In the end, though, it resulted in the unification of the thirteen states along with about fifteen or twenty others, leading to the most terrible and unbearable tyranny ever seen on Earth.

I asked what was the name of the usurping tyrant.

I asked what the name of the usurping tyrant was.

As well as the Count could recollect, it was Mob.

As far as the Count could remember, it was Mob.

Not knowing what to say to this, I raised my voice, and deplored the Egyptian ignorance of steam.

Not knowing what to say to this, I raised my voice and lamented the Egyptian ignorance about steam.

The Count looked at me with much astonishment, but made no answer. The silent gentleman, however, gave me a violent nudge in the ribs with his elbows—told me I had sufficiently exposed myself for once—and demanded if I was really such a fool as not to know that the modern steam-engine is derived from the invention of Hero, through Solomon de Caus.

The Count stared at me in shock but didn’t say anything. The quiet man next to me, though, jabbed me hard in the ribs with his elbows—told me I had already embarrassed myself enough for one day—and asked if I was really such an idiot that I didn’t know that the modern steam engine comes from Hero’s invention, through Solomon de Caus.

We were now in imminent danger of being discomfited; but, as good luck would have it, Doctor Ponnonner, having rallied, returned to our rescue, and inquired if the people of Egypt would seriously pretend to rival the moderns in the all-important particular of dress.

We were now in serious danger of being embarrassed; but, as luck would have it, Doctor Ponnonner, having regained his composure, came back to our rescue and asked if the people of Egypt would actually claim to compete with modern people in the crucial area of fashion.

The Count, at this, glanced downward to the straps of his pantaloons, and then taking hold of the end of one of his coat-tails, held it up close to his eyes for some minutes. Letting it fall, at last, his mouth extended itself very gradually from ear to ear; but I do not remember that he said any thing in the way of reply.

The Count looked down at the straps of his trousers, then grabbed the end of one of his coat-tails and held it up close to his eyes for a few minutes. After letting it fall, his mouth slowly stretched into a wide smile, but I don’t remember him saying anything in response.

Hereupon we recovered our spirits, and the Doctor, approaching the Mummy with great dignity, desired it to say candidly, upon its honor as a gentleman, if the Egyptians had comprehended, at any period, the manufacture of either Ponnonner’s lozenges or Brandreth’s pills.

Hereupon we regained our spirits, and the Doctor, approaching the Mummy with great dignity, asked it to honestly confirm, on its honor as a gentleman, whether the Egyptians had ever understood the making of either Ponnonner’s lozenges or Brandreth’s pills.

We looked, with profound anxiety, for an answer—but in vain. It was not forthcoming. The Egyptian blushed and hung down his head. Never was triumph more consummate; never was defeat borne with so ill a grace. Indeed, I could not endure the spectacle of the poor Mummy’s mortification. I reached my hat, bowed to him stiffly, and took leave.

We searched anxiously for an answer—but didn’t find one. It didn’t come. The Egyptian blushed and looked down. Never was triumph so complete; never was defeat accepted so poorly. Honestly, I couldn’t stand the sight of the poor Mummy’s embarrassment. I grabbed my hat, nodded to him awkwardly, and left.

Upon getting home I found it past four o’clock, and went immediately to bed. It is now ten A.M. I have been up since seven, penning these memoranda for the benefit of my family and of mankind. The former I shall behold no more. My wife is a shrew. The truth is, I am heartily sick of this life and of the nineteenth century in general. I am convinced that every thing is going wrong. Besides, I am anxious to know who will be President in 2045. As soon, therefore, as I shave and swallow a cup of coffee, I shall just step over to Ponnonner’s and get embalmed for a couple of hundred years.

When I got home, I realized it was past four o’clock, so I went straight to bed. It’s now ten A.M. I’ve been up since seven, writing these notes for the sake of my family and humanity. I won’t see my family again. My wife is a nightmare. Honestly, I’m really fed up with this life and the nineteenth century as a whole. I believe everything is falling apart. Plus, I’m curious about who will be President in 2045. So, as soon as I shave and have a cup of coffee, I’ll just pop over to Ponnonner’s and get embalmed for a couple of hundred years.

THE POETIC PRINCIPLE

In speaking of the Poetic Principle, I have no design to be either thorough or profound. While discussing, very much at random, the essentiality of what we call Poetry, my principal purpose will be to cite for consideration, some few of those minor English or American poems which best suit my own taste, or which, upon my own fancy, have left the most definite impression. By “minor poems” I mean, of course, poems of little length. And here, in the beginning, permit me to say a few words in regard to a somewhat peculiar principle, which, whether rightfully or wrongfully, has always had its influence in my own critical estimate of the poem. I hold that a long poem does not exist. I maintain that the phrase, “a long poem,” is simply a flat contradiction in terms.

When I talk about the Poetic Principle, I don’t aim to be exhaustive or deep. As I randomly discuss what we consider essential in Poetry, my main goal is to mention a few minor English or American poems that resonate with my own taste or have made a lasting impression on me. By “minor poems,” I mean poems that are short. At the outset, let me express my thoughts on a somewhat unusual principle that, whether rightly or wrongly, has always influenced my critical evaluation of poetry. I believe that a long poem doesn’t truly exist. I argue that the term “long poem” is essentially a contradiction.

I need scarcely observe that a poem deserves its title only inasmuch as it excites, by elevating the soul. The value of the poem is in the ratio of this elevating excitement. But all excitements are, through a psychal necessity, transient. That degree of excitement which would entitle a poem to be so called at all, cannot be sustained throughout a composition of any great length. After the lapse of half an hour, at the very utmost, it flags—fails—a revulsion ensues—and then the poem is, in effect, and in fact, no longer such.

I hardly need to mention that a poem earns its title only if it uplifts the soul. The worth of the poem is based on how much it can elevate that excitement. However, all forms of excitement, due to a psychological need, are temporary. The level of excitement needed for something to be considered a poem can't last throughout a lengthy piece. After half an hour at most, it weakens—fails—a backlash follows—and then the poem is, in reality, no longer a poem.

There are, no doubt, many who have found difficulty in reconciling the critical dictum that the “Paradise Lost” is to be devoutly admired throughout, with the absolute impossibility of maintaining for it, during perusal, the amount of enthusiasm which that critical dictum would demand. This great work, in fact, is to be regarded as poetical, only when, losing sight of that vital requisite in all works of Art, Unity, we view it merely as a series of minor poems. If, to preserve its Unity—its totality of effect or impression—we read it (as would be necessary) at a single sitting, the result is but a constant alternation of excitement and depression. After a passage of what we feel to be true poetry, there follows, inevitably, a passage of platitude which no critical prejudgment can force us to admire; but if, upon completing the work, we read it again, omitting the first book—that is to say, commencing with the second—we shall be surprised at now finding that admirable which we before condemned—that damnable which we had previously so much admired. It follows from all this that the ultimate, aggregate, or absolute effect of even the best epic under the sun, is a nullity:—and this is precisely the fact.

There are certainly many who have struggled to reconcile the critical statement that “Paradise Lost” is to be wholeheartedly admired throughout, with the undeniable difficulty of maintaining the level of enthusiasm that such a statement requires while reading it. This great work, in fact, should only be seen as poetry when we disregard that essential element found in all works of art, Unity, and instead view it simply as a collection of smaller poems. If we want to maintain its Unity—meaning its overall effect or impression—we would need to read it (as is necessary) in one sitting, but this leads to a constant shift between excitement and sadness. After a section that feels like true poetry, we inevitably encounter a part that is so dull that no amount of critical bias can make us admire it; however, if after finishing the work we read it again, skipping the first book—that is, starting with the second—we might be surprised to find that what we once admired is now less appealing, and what we previously condemned is now enjoyable. It follows from all this that the ultimate, overall, or absolute effect of even the finest epic ever written is essentially nothing:—and that is exactly the truth.

In regard to the Iliad, we have, if not positive proof, at least very good reason for believing it intended as a series of lyrics; but, granting the epic intention, I can say only that the work is based in an imperfect sense of art. The modern epic is, of the supposititious ancient model, but an inconsiderate and blindfold imitation. But the day of these artistic anomalies is over. If, at any time, any very long poem were popular in reality, which I doubt, it is at least clear that no very long poem will ever be popular again.

Regarding the Iliad, we have, if not definite proof, at least strong reasons to believe it was meant as a series of lyrics; however, even if we accept the epic intention, I can only say that the work reflects an incomplete understanding of art. The modern epic is, compared to the supposed ancient model, merely an unthinking and blind imitation. But the era of these artistic oddities is over. If, at any point, any very long poem was genuinely popular, which I doubt, it's clear that no very long poem will ever be popular again.

That the extent of a poetical work is, ceteris paribus, the measure of its merit, seems undoubtedly, when we thus state it, a proposition sufficiently absurd—yet we are indebted for it to the Quarterly Reviews. Surely there can be nothing in mere size, abstractly considered—there can be nothing in mere bulk, so far as a volume is concerned, which has so continuously elicited admiration from these saturnine pamphlets! A mountain, to be sure, by the mere sentiment of physical magnitude which it conveys, does impress us with a sense of the sublime—but no man is impressed after this fashion by the material grandeur of even “The Columbiad.” Even the Quarterlies have not instructed us to be so impressed by it. As yet, they have not insisted on our estimating “Lamar” tine by the cubic foot, or Pollock by the pound—but what else are we to infer from their continual plating about “sustained effort”? If, by “sustained effort,” any little gentleman has accomplished an epic, let us frankly commend him for the effort—if this indeed be a thing conk mendable—but let us forbear praising the epic on the effort’s account. It is to be hoped that common sense, in the time to come, will prefer deciding upon a work of Art rather by the impression it makes—by the effect it produces—than by the time it took to impress the effect, or by the amount of “sustained effort” which had been found necessary in effecting the impression. The fact is, that perseverance is one thing and genius quite another—nor can all the Quarterlies in Christendom confound them. By and by, this proposition, with many which I have been just urging, will be received as self-evident. In the meantime, by being generally condemned as falsities, they will not be essentially damaged as truths.

The idea that the length of a poem is, ceteris paribus, the measure of its quality seems incredibly absurd when we put it this way—yet we owe this notion to the Quarterly Reviews. Surely, there’s nothing significant about mere size when considered alone—nothing related to the volume itself that has consistently drawn admiration from these serious publications! A mountain, for sure, impresses us with an overwhelming sense of the sublime just because of its physical size—but no one is moved in that way by the material significance of even “The Columbiad.” Even the Quarterlies haven’t led us to be impressed by it. So far, they haven’t insisted that we measure “Lamar” in cubic feet or Pollock by the pound—but what else are we to infer from their constant talk about “sustained effort”? If some little gentleman has created an epic through “sustained effort,” let’s commend him for the attempt—if that’s worthy of praise—but let’s hold back from celebrating the epic just because of the effort involved. It’s hoped that in the future, common sense will choose to evaluate a work of art more by the impression it leaves on us—by the effect it creates—than by the time it took to achieve that effect, or by the amount of “sustained effort” required to make that impression. The truth is, perseverance is one thing and genius is quite another—and no amount of Quarterly Reviews can confuse the two. Eventually, this idea, along with many I’ve just presented, will be accepted as self-evident. In the meantime, even if they are generally dismissed as falsehoods, they won’t lose their validity as truths.

On the other hand, it is clear that a poem may be improperly brief. Undue brevity degenerates into mere epigrammatism. A very short poem, while now and then producing a brilliant or vivid, never produces a profound or enduring effect. There must be the steady pressing down of the stamp upon the wax. De Beranger has wrought innumerable things, pungent and spirit-stirring, but in general they have been too imponderous to stamp themselves deeply into the public attention, and thus, as so many feathers of fancy, have been blown aloft only to be whistled down the wind.

On the other hand, it's clear that a poem can be too short. Excessive brevity turns into just being clever. A very short poem might sometimes create a striking image or idea, but it never leaves a deep or lasting impression. There needs to be a constant and strong imprint, like a stamp on wax. De Beranger has created countless sharp and stirring pieces, but overall they haven't been substantial enough to leave a deep mark on public attention, and so, like many fleeting thoughts, they’ve been carried away by the wind.

A remarkable instance of the effect of undue brevity in depressing a poem, in keeping it out of the popular view, is afforded by the following exquisite little Serenade—

A striking example of how excessive brevity can diminish a poem and prevent it from gaining popularity is provided by the following beautiful little Serenade—

I arise from dreams of thee
    In the first sweet sleep of night,
When the winds are breathing low,
    And the stars are shining bright.
I arise from dreams of thee,
    And a spirit in my feet
Has led me—who knows how?—
    To thy chamber-window, sweet!

The wandering airs they faint
    On the dark the silent stream—
The champak odors fail
    Like sweet thoughts in a dream;
The nightingale’s complaint,
    It dies upon her heart,
As I must die on shine,
    O, beloved as thou art!

O, lift me from the grass!
    I die, I faint, I fail!
Let thy love in kisses rain
    On my lips and eyelids pale.
My cheek is cold and white, alas!
    My heart beats loud and fast:
O, press it close to shine again,
    Where it will break at last.

I wake up from dreams of you
    In the first sweet sleep of night,
When the winds are whispering soft,
    And the stars are shining bright.
I wake up from dreams of you,
    And a feeling in my feet
Has guided me—who knows how?—
    To your window, so sweet!

The wandering breezes fade
    On the dark, silent stream—
The champak scents diminish
    Like sweet thoughts in a dream;
The nightingale’s song,
    It fades upon her heart,
Just as I must fade on yours,
    Oh, beloved as you are!

Oh, lift me from the grass!
    I’m dying, I’m fainting, I’m failing!
Let your love shower
    On my lips and pale eyelids.
My cheek is cold and white, oh no!
    My heart beats loud and fast:
Oh, hold it close to yours again,
    Where it will finally break.

Very few perhaps are familiar with these lines—yet no less a poet than Shelley is their author. Their warm, yet delicate and ethereal imagination will be appreciated by all, but by none so thoroughly as by him who has himself arisen from sweet dreams of one beloved to bathe in the aromatic air of a southern midsummer night.

Very few are probably familiar with these lines—but they were written by none other than Shelley. Their warm, yet delicate and airy imagination will be appreciated by everyone, but by none more than someone who has himself awakened from sweet dreams of a loved one to enjoy the fragrant air of a southern midsummer night.

One of the finest poems by Willis—the very best in my opinion which he has ever written—has no doubt, through this same defect of undue brevity, been kept back from its proper position, not less in the

One of the best poems by Willis—the absolute best in my opinion that he’s ever written—has undoubtedly, due to this same flaw of being too brief, been held back from its rightful place, not less in the

     The shadows lay along Broadway,
         ’Twas near the twilight-tide—
     And slowly there a lady fair
         Was walking in her pride.
     Alone walk’d she; but, viewlessly,
         Walk’d spirits at her side.

     Peace charm’d the street beneath her feet,
         And Honor charm’d the air;
     And all astir looked kind on her,
         And called her good as fair—
     For all God ever gave to her
         She kept with chary care.

     She kept with care her beauties rare
         From lovers warm and true—
     For heart was cold to all but gold,
         And the rich came not to won,
     But honor’d well her charms to sell.
         If priests the selling do.

     Now walking there was one more fair—
         A slight girl, lily-pale;
     And she had unseen company
         To make the spirit quail—
     ’Twixt Want and Scorn she walk’d forlorn,
         And nothing could avail.

     No mercy now can clear her brow
         From this world’s peace to pray
     For as love’s wild prayer dissolved in air,
         Her woman’s heart gave way!—
     But the sin forgiven by Christ in Heaven
         By man is cursed alway!
     The shadows stretched along Broadway,  
         It was close to twilight—  
     And slowly there a beautiful lady  
         Walked with her head held high.  
     She walked alone; but, unseen,  
         Spirits walked by her side.  

     Peace enchanted the street beneath her feet,  
         And Honor filled the air;  
     And everything around looked kindly at her,  
         Calling her both good and beautiful—  
     For everything God ever gave her  
         She cherished with careful love.  

     She guarded her rare beauty  
         From warm and true lovers—  
     For her heart was cold to all but wealth,  
         And the rich didn’t try to win her,  
     But honored her charms to buy.  
         If priests do the selling.  

     Now walking there was another fair one—  
         A slight girl, pale as a lily;  
     And she had unseen company  
         That made the spirit tremble—  
     Between Want and Scorn she walked alone,  
         And nothing could help her.  

     No mercy now can lift her brow  
         To pray for peace in this world  
     For as love’s desperate prayer faded into air,  
         Her woman’s heart gave in!—  
     But the sin forgiven by Christ in Heaven  
         Is always cursed by man!

In this composition we find it difficult to recognize the Willis who has written so many mere “verses of society.” The lines are not only richly ideal, but full of energy, while they breathe an earnestness, an evident sincerity of sentiment, for which we look in vain throughout all the other works of this author.

In this piece, it's hard to recognize the Willis who has written so many simple "verses of society." The lines are not only rich in idealism but also full of energy, expressing a seriousness and a clear sincerity of feeling that we search for in vain in all the other works of this author.

While the epic mania, while the idea that to merit in poetry prolixity is indispensable, has for some years past been gradually dying out of the public mind, by mere dint of its own absurdity, we find it succeeded by a heresy too palpably false to be long tolerated, but one which, in the brief period it has already endured, may be said to have accomplished more in the corruption of our Poetical Literature than all its other enemies combined. I allude to the heresy of The Didactic. It has been assumed, tacitly and avowedly, directly and indirectly, that the ultimate object of all Poetry is Truth. Every poem, it is said, should inculcate a morals and by this moral is the poetical merit of the work to be adjudged. We Americans especially have patronized this happy idea, and we Bostonians very especially have developed it in full. We have taken it into our heads that to write a poem simply for the poem’s sake, and to acknowledge such to have been our design, would be to confess ourselves radically wanting in the true poetic dignity and force:—but the simple fact is that would we but permit ourselves to look into our own souls we should immediately there discover that under the sun there neither exists nor can exist any work more thoroughly dignified, more supremely noble, than this very poem, this poem per se, this poem which is a poem and nothing more, this poem written solely for the poem’s sake.

While the obsession with lengthy poetry, the idea that being verbose is essential for poetic merit, has been slowly fading from the public's consciousness due to its own absurdity, it has been replaced by a belief that is too obviously flawed to last long. However, during its brief existence, it has done more damage to our poetic literature than all its other critics combined. I'm referring to the belief in The Didactic. It's been implicitly and explicitly accepted that the ultimate aim of all poetry is to convey truth. Each poem, it is argued, should teach a moral, and the poetic value of a work is judged by that moral. We Americans, particularly those of us in Boston, have embraced this idea wholeheartedly. We've convinced ourselves that writing a poem simply for its own sake, and admitting that this was our intention, would reveal a fundamental lack of true poetic dignity and strength. Yet, if we would just allow ourselves to reflect on our own hearts, we would soon realize that under the sun, there is nothing more dignified or noble than this very poem, this poem per se, this poem that is just a poem and nothing more, this poem created solely for the sake of being a poem.

With as deep a reverence for the True as ever inspired the bosom of man, I would nevertheless limit, in some measure, its modes of inculcation. I would limit to enforce them. I would not enfeeble them by dissipation. The demands of Truth are severe. She has no sympathy with the myrtles. All that which is so indispensable in Song is precisely all that with which she has nothing whatever to do. It is but making her a flaunting paradox to wreathe her in gems and flowers. In enforcing a truth we need severity rather than efflorescence of language. We must be simple, precise, terse. We must be cool, calm, unimpassioned. In a word, we must be in that mood which, as nearly as possible, is the exact converse of the poetical. He must be blind indeed who does not perceive the radical and chasmal difference between the truthful and the poetical modes of inculcation. He must be theory-mad beyond redemption who, in spite of these differences, shall still persist in attempting to reconcile the obstinate oils and waters of Poetry and Truth.

With a deep respect for the Truth that has always inspired humanity, I would still place some limits on how it is taught. I would impose restrictions to reinforce it. I would not weaken it with distraction. The demands of Truth are strict. It has no connections to the trivial pleasures. Everything that is essential in Song is precisely what it has nothing to do with. It turns Truth into a confusing paradox to adorn it with gems and flowers. When conveying a truth, we need clarity rather than flowery language. We must be simple, precise, and concise. We must be cool, calm, and unemotional. In short, we must adopt a mindset that is as far from the poetic as possible. Anyone who cannot see the fundamental and vast difference between the truthful and poetic ways of teaching must be hopelessly caught up in theory, trying in vain to blend the stubbornly separate realms of Poetry and Truth.

Dividing the world of mind into its three most immediately obvious distinctions, we have the Pure Intellect, Taste, and the Moral Sense. I place Taste in the middle, because it is just this position which in the mind it occupies. It holds intimate relations with either extreme; but from the Moral Sense is separated by so faint a difference that Aristotle has not hesitated to place some of its operations among the virtues themselves. Nevertheless we find the offices of the trio marked with a sufficient distinction. Just as the Intellect concerns itself with Truth, so Taste informs us of the Beautiful, while the Moral Sense is regardful of Duty. Of this latter, while Conscience teaches the obligation, and Reason the expediency, Taste contents herself with displaying the charms:—waging war upon Vice solely on the ground of her deformity—her disproportion—her animosity to the fitting, to the appropriate, to the harmonious—in a word, to Beauty.

Dividing the world of the mind into its three most obvious distinctions, we have Pure Intellect, Taste, and Moral Sense. I place Taste in the middle because that’s where it fits in the mind. It has close connections to both ends but is separated from Moral Sense by such a slight difference that Aristotle didn't hesitate to include some of its functions among the virtues themselves. Still, we see the roles of the three clearly distinguished. Just as Intellect focuses on Truth, Taste informs us about Beauty, while Moral Sense is concerned with Duty. In the case of the latter, Conscience teaches about obligation, and Reason addresses what's practical, while Taste is primarily focused on revealing the charms—fighting against Vice purely because of its ugliness, its imbalance, and its hostility towards what is fitting, appropriate, harmonious—in other words, towards Beauty.

An immortal instinct deep within the spirit of man is thus plainly a sense of the Beautiful. This it is which administers to his delight in the manifold forms, and sounds, and odors and sentiments amid which he exists. And just as the lily is repeated in the lake, or the eyes of Amaryllis in the mirror, so is the mere oral or written repetition of these forms, and sounds, and colors, and odors, and sentiments a duplicate source of the light. But this mere repetition is not poetry. He who shall simply sing, with however glowing enthusiasm, or with however vivid a truth of description, of the sights, and sounds, and odors, and colors, and sentiments which greet him in common with all mankind—he, I say, has yet failed to prove his divine title. There is still a something in the distance which he has been unable to attain. We have still a thirst unquenchable, to allay which he has not shown us the crystal springs. This thirst belongs to the immortality of Man. It is at once a consequence and an indication of his perennial existence. It is the desire of the moth for the star. It is no mere appreciation of the Beauty before us, but a wild effort to reach the Beauty above. Inspired by an ecstatic prescience of the glories beyond the grave, we struggle by multiform combinations among the things and thoughts of Time to attain a portion of that Loveliness whose very elements perhaps appertain to eternity alone. And thus when by Poetry, or when by Music, the most entrancing of the poetic moods, we find ourselves melted into tears, we weep then, not as the Abbate Gravina supposes, through excess of pleasure, but through a certain petulant, impatient sorrow at our inability to grasp now, wholly, here on earth, at once and for ever, those divine and rapturous joys of which through’ the poem, or through the music, we attain to but brief and indeterminate glimpses.

An eternal instinct deep within the human spirit is clearly a sense of Beauty. This instinct fuels our enjoyment of the diverse forms, sounds, scents, and feelings that surround us. Just like the reflection of a lily in a lake or the eyes of Amaryllis in a mirror, merely repeating these forms, sounds, colors, scents, and feelings gives us a duplicate source of light. However, this simple repetition isn't poetry. Someone who just sings, no matter how passionately or accurately they describe the sights, sounds, scents, colors, and feelings that greet them alongside everyone else—this person hasn’t yet proven their divine talent. There remains something elusive that they cannot reach. We still have an unquenchable thirst that they haven’t shown us how to satisfy. This thirst is part of humanity's immortality. It is both a result and a sign of our enduring existence. It’s like the moth’s desire for the star. It’s not just an appreciation of the Beauty in front of us, but a fervent effort to reach the Beauty beyond. Inspired by an ecstatic awareness of the glories that lie beyond death, we struggle with numerous combinations of the things and thoughts of the present to grasp a piece of that Loveliness, which perhaps only truly belongs to eternity. So, when through Poetry or, more enchantingly, through Music, we find ourselves moved to tears, we don’t weep, as Abbate Gravina suggests, out of sheer joy, but rather from a certain frustrated, impatient sorrow at our inability to completely and permanently grasp those divine and blissful joys—joys we only glimpse briefly and vaguely through the poem or the music.

The struggle to apprehend the supernal Loveliness—this struggle, on the part of souls fittingly constituted—has given to the world all that which it (the world) has ever been enabled at once to understand and to feel as poetic.

The effort to grasp the divine beauty—this effort from truly capable souls—has provided the world all that which it has ever been able to both understand and feel as poetic.

The Poetic Sentiment, of course, may develop itself in various modes—in Painting, in Sculpture, in Architecture, in the Dance—very especially in Music—and very peculiarly, and with a wide field, in the com position of the Landscape Garden. Our present theme, however, has regard only to its manifestation in words. And here let me speak briefly on the topic of rhythm. Contenting myself with the certainty that Music, in its various modes of metre, rhythm, and rhyme, is of so vast a moment in Poetry as never to be wisely rejected—is so vitally important an adjunct, that he is simply silly who declines its assistance, I will not now pause to maintain its absolute essentiality. It is in Music perhaps that the soul most nearly attains the great end for which, when inspired by the Poetic Sentiment, it struggles—the creation of supernal Beauty. It may be, indeed, that here this sublime end is, now and then, attained in fact. We are often made to feel, with a shivering delight, that from an earthly harp are stricken notes which cannot have been unfamiliar to the angels. And thus there can be little doubt that in the union of Poetry with Music in its popular sense, we shall find the widest field for the Poetic development. The old Bards and Minnesingers had advantages which we do not possess—and Thomas Moore, singing his own songs, was, in the most legitimate manner, perfecting them as poems.

The Poetic Sentiment can express itself in various forms—in Painting, Sculpture, Architecture, Dance—especially in Music—and uniquely, and with great potential, in the creation of Landscape Gardens. However, our current topic focuses solely on its expression through words. Let me briefly touch on rhythm. I’m confident that Music, with its different meters, rhythms, and rhymes, is so crucial to Poetry that it should never be disregarded—it's an essential component, and anyone who refuses its help is simply foolish. Perhaps it's in Music that the soul comes closest to achieving the ultimate goal it strives for when inspired by the Poetic Sentiment—the creation of transcendent Beauty. It may indeed be that sometimes this lofty goal is actually realized. We often feel a delightful thrill when we hear notes from a earthly harp that seem familiar to the angels. Therefore, there is little doubt that the combination of Poetry and Music in its popular form offers the greatest opportunity for Poetic development. The old Bards and Minnesingers had advantages that we lack—and Thomas Moore, by singing his own songs, was, in the truest sense, perfecting them as poems.

To recapitulate then:—I would define, in brief, the Poetry of words as The Rhythmical Creation of Beauty. Its sole arbiter is Taste. With the Intellect or with the Conscience it has only collateral relations. Unless incidentally, it has no concern whatever either with Duty or with Truth.

To sum it up: I would define, in short, the Poetry of words as The Rhythmical Creation of Beauty. Its only judge is Taste. It has only indirect connections with the Intellect or with the Conscience. Unless by chance, it has no involvement at all with either Duty or Truth.

A few words, however, in explanation. That pleasure which is at once the most pure, the most elevating, and the most intense, is derived, I maintain, from the contemplation of the Beautiful. In the contemplation of Beauty we alone find it possible to attain that pleasurable elevation, or excitement of the soul, which we recognize as the Poetic Sentiment, and which is so easily distinguished from Truth, which is the satisfaction of the Reason, or from Passion, which is the excitement of the heart. I make Beauty, therefore—using the word as inclusive of the sublime—I make Beauty the province of the poem, simply because it is an obvious rule of Art that effects should be made to spring as directly as possible from their causes:—no one as yet having been weak enough to deny that the peculiar elevation in question is at least most readily attainable in the poem. It by no means follows, however, that the incitements of Passion’ or the precepts of Duty, or even the lessons of Truth, may not be introduced into a poem, and with advantage; for they may subserve incidentally, in various ways, the general purposes of the work: but the true artist will always contrive to tone them down in proper subjection to that Beauty which is the atmosphere and the real essence of the poem.

A few words, though, in explanation. That pleasure which is the purest, the most uplifting, and the most intense comes, I believe, from contemplating the Beautiful. In appreciating Beauty, we can achieve that pleasurable elevation or excitement of the soul that we recognize as the Poetic Sentiment, which is easily distinguished from Truth, the satisfaction of Reason, or from Passion, the excitement of the heart. I define Beauty, using the term to include the sublime, as the focus of the poem, simply because it is a clear rule of Art that effects should arise as directly as possible from their causes: no one has yet been foolish enough to deny that the particular elevation in question is at least most readily attainable in poetry. However, it doesn’t mean that the incitements of Passion, the precepts of Duty, or even the lessons of Truth can’t be included in a poem, and to good effect; they can serve, in various ways, the overall purposes of the work. But the true artist will always manage to tone them down to remain in proper subjection to that Beauty, which is the atmosphere and true essence of the poem.

I cannot better introduce the few poems which I shall present for your consideration, than by the citation of the Proem to Longfellow’s “Waif”:—

I can't introduce the few poems I'm about to share any better than by quoting the Proem to Longfellow’s “Waif”:—

     The day is done, and the darkness
         Falls from the wings of Night,
     As a feather is wafted downward
         From an Eagle in his flight.

     I see the lights of the village
         Gleam through the rain and the mist,
     And a feeling of sadness comes o’er me,
         That my soul cannot resist;

     A feeling of sadness and longing,
         That is not akin to pain,
     And resembles sorrow only
         As the mist resembles the rain.

     Come, read to me some poem,
         Some simple and heartfelt lay,
     That shall soothe this restless feeling,
         And banish the thoughts of day.

     Not from the grand old masters,
         Not from the bards sublime,
     Whose distant footsteps echo
         Through the corridors of Time.

     For, like strains of martial music,
         Their mighty thoughts suggest
     Life’s endless toil and endeavor;
         And to-night I long for rest.

     Read from some humbler poet,
         Whose songs gushed from his heart,
     As showers from the clouds of summer,
         Or tears from the eyelids start;

     Who through long days of labor,
         And nights devoid of ease,
     Still heard in his soul the music
         Of wonderful melodies.

     Such songs have power to quiet
         The restless pulse of care,
     And come like the benediction
         That follows after prayer.

     Then read from the treasured volume
         The poem of thy choice,
     And lend to the rhyme of the poet
         The beauty of thy voice.

     And the night shall be filled with music,
         And the cares that infest the day
     Shall fold their tents like the Arabs,
         And as silently steal away.
     The day is over, and the darkness
         Falls from the edges of Night,
     Like a feather floating down
         From an Eagle in its flight.

     I see the village lights
         Shine through the rain and the mist,
     And a wave of sadness washes over me,
         That my soul can't resist;

     A mix of sadness and longing,
         That doesn't feel like pain,
     And is only similar to sorrow
         Like mist is to rain.

     Come, read me a poem,
         Some simple and heartfelt piece,
     That will calm this restless feeling,
         And chase away the thoughts of day.

     Not from the grand old masters,
         Not from the sublime poets,
     Whose distant footsteps echo
         Through the halls of Time.

     For, like strains of battle music,
         Their powerful thoughts suggest
     Life's endless labor and struggle;
         And tonight I crave for rest.

     Read from some lesser poet,
         Whose songs flowed from the heart,
     Like showers from summer clouds,
         Or tears that start from the eyes;

     Who through long days of work,
         And nights without peace,
     Still heard in his soul the music
         Of beautiful melodies.

     Such songs have the power to calm
         The restless pulse of worry,
     And come like a blessing
         That follows after prayer.

     Then read from the cherished book
         The poem you choose,
     And give the poet's rhyme
         The beauty of your voice.

     And the night will be filled with music,
         And the worries of the day
     Shall fold their tents like the Arabs,
         And silently drift away.

With no great range of imagination, these lines have been justly admired for their delicacy of expression. Some of the images are very effective. Nothing can be better than—

With a limited imagination, these lines have been rightly praised for their subtlety in expression. Some of the images are quite striking. Nothing can surpass—

    ———————the bards sublime,
         Whose distant footsteps echo
     Down the corridors of Time.
    ———————the great poets,  
         Whose far-off footsteps resonate  
     Through the halls of Time.

The idea of the last quatrain is also very effective. The poem on the whole, however, is chiefly to be admired for the graceful insouciance of its metre, so well in accordance with the character of the sentiments, and especially for the ease of the general manner. This “ease” or naturalness, in a literary style, it has long been the fashion to regard as ease in appearance alone—as a point of really difficult attainment. But not so:—a natural manner is difficult only to him who should never meddle with it—to the unnatural. It is but the result of writing with the understanding, or with the instinct, that the tone, in composition, should always be that which the mass of mankind would adopt—and must perpetually vary, of course, with the occasion. The author who, after the fashion of “The North American Review,” should be upon all occasions merely “quiet,” must necessarily upon many occasions be simply silly, or stupid; and has no more right to be considered “easy” or “natural” than a Cockney exquisite, or than the sleeping Beauty in the waxworks.

The concept of the last quatrain is also very effective. Overall, though, the poem is mainly commendable for the elegant insouciance of its rhythm, which perfectly matches the character of the emotions, and especially for the ease of its overall style. This “ease” or naturalness in writing has long been seen as something that appears simple but is actually quite hard to achieve. However, that's not the case: a natural style is only challenging for those who shouldn't try to use it in the first place—for the unnatural. It simply results from writing with the understanding or instinct that the tone in composition should always reflect what most people would adopt—and it must vary with the situation, of course. An author who, like those in “The North American Review,” strives to be merely “calm” on all occasions will inevitably come off as silly or dull on many occasions; they have no more claim to be considered “easy” or “natural” than a pretentious Londoner or the sleeping Beauty in a wax museum.

Among the minor poems of Bryant, none has so much impressed me as the one which he entitles “June.” I quote only a portion of it:—

Among Bryant's lesser poems, none has impressed me as much as the one titled “June.” I’ll quote just a portion of it:—

     There, through the long, long summer hours,
         The golden light should lie,
     And thick young herbs and groups of flowers
         Stand in their beauty by.
     The oriole should build and tell
     His love-tale, close beside my cell;
         The idle butterfly
     Should rest him there, and there be heard
     The housewife-bee and humming bird.

     And what, if cheerful shouts at noon,
         Come, from the village sent,
     Or songs of maids, beneath the moon,
         With fairy laughter blent?
     And what if, in the evening light,
     Betrothed lovers walk in sight
         Of my low monument?
     I would the lovely scene around
     Might know no sadder sight nor sound.

     I know, I know I should not see
         The season’s glorious show,
     Nor would its brightness shine for me;
         Nor its wild music flow;
     But if, around my place of sleep,
     The friends I love should come to weep,
         They might not haste to go.
     Soft airs and song, and the light and bloom,
     Should keep them lingering by my tomb.

     These to their soften’d hearts should bear
         The thoughts of what has been,
     And speak of one who cannot share
         The gladness of the scene;
     Whose part in all the pomp that fills
     The circuit of the summer hills,
         Is—that his grave is green;
     And deeply would their hearts rejoice
     To hear again his living voice.
     There, during the long summer hours,  
         The golden light would shine,  
     With lush young grass and clusters of flowers  
         Standing in their beauty.  
     The oriole would build and share  
     His love story, right next to my cell;  
         The lazy butterfly  
     Would rest there, and you could hear  
     The buzzing bee and hummingbird.  

     And what if joyful shouts at noon  
         Come from the village nearby,  
     Or songs of young women beneath the moon,  
         Mixed with fairy laughter?  
     And what if, in the evening light,  
     Engaged couples stroll in sight  
         Of my humble monument?  
     I wish the lovely scene around  
     Would know no sadder sight or sound.  

     I know, I know I won’t see  
         The season’s glorious display,  
     Nor would its brightness shine for me;  
         Nor would its wild music play;  
     But if, around my resting place,  
     The friends I love should come to mourn,  
         They might not rush to leave.  
     Gentle breezes and song, along with the light and blooms,  
     Should keep them lingering by my tomb.  

     These would reach their softened hearts,  
         Reminding them of what has been,  
     And speak of someone who cannot share  
         In the joy of the scene;  
     Whose part in all the splendor that fills  
     The countryside of summer hills,  
         Is—his grave is green;  
     And they’d deeply rejoice  
     To hear again his living voice.

The rhythmical flow here is even voluptuous—nothing could be more melodious. The poem has always affected me in a remarkable manner. The intense melancholy which seems to well up, perforce, to the surface of all the poet’s cheerful sayings about his grave, we find thrilling us to the soul—while there is the truest poetic elevation in the thrill. The impression left is one of a pleasurable sadness. And if, in the remaining compositions which I shall introduce to you, there be more or less of a similar tone always apparent, let me remind you that (how or why we know not) this certain taint of sadness is inseparably connected with all the higher manifestations of true Beauty. It is, nevertheless,

The rhythmic flow here is almost indulgent—nothing is more melodious. This poem has always deeply impacted me. The intense sadness that seems to rise to the surface of all the poet’s cheerful remarks about his grave truly resonates within us—while there’s a genuine poetic uplift in that feeling. The overall impression is one of a bittersweet joy. And if, in the other works I’ll share with you, there’s always a similar tone present, let me remind you that (how or why we don't know) this certain hint of sadness is closely tied to all the higher expressions of true Beauty. It is, however,

     A feeling of sadness and longing
         That is not akin to pain,
     And resembles sorrow only
         As the mist resembles the rain.
     A sense of sadness and yearning
         That doesn’t quite feel like pain,
     And is similar to sorrow only
         As mist is similar to rain.

The taint of which I speak is clearly perceptible even in a poem so full of brilliancy and spirit as “The Health” of Edward Coate Pinckney:—

The stain I'm talking about is clearly noticeable even in a poem as vibrant and spirited as “The Health” by Edward Coate Pinckney:—

     I fill this cup to one made up
         Of loveliness alone,
     A woman, of her gentle sex
         The seeming paragon;
     To whom the better elements
         And kindly stars have given
     A form so fair that, like the air,
         ’Tis less of earth than heaven.

     Her every tone is music’s own,
         Like those of morning birds,
     And something more than melody
         Dwells ever in her words;
     The coinage of her heart are they,
         And from her lips each flows
     As one may see the burden’d bee
         Forth issue from the rose.

     Affections are as thoughts to her,
         The measures of her hours;
     Her feelings have the flagrancy,
         The freshness of young flowers;
     And lovely passions, changing oft,
         So fill her, she appears
     The image of themselves by turns,—
         The idol of past years!

     Of her bright face one glance will trace
         A picture on the brain,
     And of her voice in echoing hearts
         A sound must long remain;
     But memory, such as mine of her,
         So very much endears,
     When death is nigh my latest sigh
         Will not be life’s, but hers.

     I fill’d this cup to one made up
         Of loveliness alone,
     A woman, of her gentle sex
         The seeming paragon—
     Her health! and would on earth there stood,
         Some more of such a frame,
     That life might be all poetry,
         And weariness a name.
     I raise this cup to one who is 
         Purely made of beauty,
     A woman, the ideal of her kind, 
         The perfect example;
     To her, the better elements
         And kind stars have given
     A form so lovely that, like the air,
         It feels less of earth than heaven.

     Every tone from her is music itself,
         Like those of morning birds,
     And something deeper than melody
         Lives in her words;
     The expressions of her heart are they,
         And from her lips they flow
     Like seeing a burdened bee
         Emerging from a rose.

     Feelings are like thoughts for her,
         The way she measures her time;
     Her emotions have the vibrant scent,
         The freshness of young flowers;
     And beautiful passions, changing often,
         Fill her so much, she seems
     To reflect them all in turn,—
         The idol of memories!

     Just one glance at her bright face
         Leaves an imprint in the mind,
     And the sound of her voice in echoing hearts
         Will linger for a long time;
     But my memory of her,
         So deeply cherished,
     When death approaches my last sigh
         Will not be for life, but for her.

     I raised this cup to one who is 
         Purely made of beauty,
     A woman, the ideal of her kind, 
         The perfect example— 
     Here’s to her health! And I wish there were 
         More like her on this earth, 
     So that life could be all poetry,
         And weariness would be just a term.

It was the misfortune of Mr. Pinckney to have been born too far south. Had he been a New Englander, it is probable that he would have been ranked as the first of American lyrists by that magnanimous cabal which has so long controlled the destinies of American Letters, in conducting the thing called “The North American Review.” The poem just cited is especially beautiful; but the poetic elevation which it induces we must refer chiefly to our sympathy in the poet’s enthusiasm. We pardon his hyperboles for the evident earnestness with which they are uttered.

Mr. Pinckney was unfortunate to be born too far south. If he had been from New England, it’s likely that he would have been considered the top American poet by the influential group that has long directed the course of American literature, particularly through “The North American Review.” The poem mentioned earlier is especially beautiful; however, the poetic greatness it inspires mainly comes from our connection to the poet’s passion. We overlook his exaggerations because of the clear sincerity with which he expresses them.

It was by no means my design, however, to expatiate upon the merits of what I should read you. These will necessarily speak for themselves. Boccalini, in his “Advertisements from Parnassus,” tells us that Zoilus once presented Apollo a very caustic criticism upon a very admirable book:—whereupon the god asked him for the beauties of the work. He replied that he only busied himself about the errors. On hearing this, Apollo, handing him a sack of unwinnowed wheat, bade him pick out all the chaff for his reward.

It was never my intention, however, to go on and on about the merits of what I’m going to read to you. They will speak for themselves. Boccalini, in his “Advertisements from Parnassus,” tells us that Zoilus once gave Apollo a scathing review of a really excellent book. The god then asked him about the book's strengths. He replied that he only focused on its mistakes. Hearing this, Apollo handed him a sack of unprocessed wheat and told him to separate all the chaff as his reward.

Now this fable answers very well as a hit at the critics—but I am by no means sure that the god was in the right. I am by no means certain that the true limits of the critical duty are not grossly misunderstood. Excellence, in a poem especially, may be considered in the light of an axiom, which need only be properly put, to become self-evident. It is not excellence if it require to be demonstrated as such:—and thus to point out too particularly the merits of a work of Art, is to admit that they are not merits altogether.

Now this fable serves as a right jab at the critics—but I'm not entirely convinced that the god was justified. I'm not at all sure that the true boundaries of critical duty aren't seriously misunderstood. Excellence, especially in a poem, can be seen like an axiom that just needs to be expressed properly to be obvious. It is not true excellence if it needs to be proven as such:—and so, to highlight the merits of a work of art too much is to acknowledge that they aren't merits at all.

Among the “Melodies” of Thomas Moore is one whose distinguished character as a poem proper seems to have been singularly left out of view. I allude to his lines beginning—“Come, rest in this bosom.” The intense energy of their expression is not surpassed by anything in Byron. There are two of the lines in which a sentiment is conveyed that embodies the all in all of the divine passion of Love—a sentiment which, perhaps, has found its echo in more, and in more passionate, human hearts than any other single sentiment ever embodied in words:—

Among the “Melodies” of Thomas Moore is one poem that seems to have been overlooked for its true quality. I’m referring to the lines that start with “Come, rest in this bosom.” The powerful emotion in these lines is unmatched by anything in Byron’s work. There are two lines that express a sentiment that captures the essence of divine Love—a feeling that has probably resonated in more passionate human hearts than any other sentiment ever put into words:—

     Come, rest in this bosom, my own stricken deer
     Though the herd have fled from thee, thy home is still here;
     Here still is the smile, that no cloud can o’ercast,
     And a heart and a hand all thy own to the last.

     Oh! what was love made for, if ’tis not the same
     Through joy and through torment, through glory and shame?
     I know not, I ask not, if guilt’s in that heart,
     I but know that I love thee, whatever thou art.

     Thou hast call’d me thy Angel in moments of bliss,
     And thy Angel I’ll be, ‘mid the horrors of this,—
     Through the furnace, unshrinking, thy steps to pursue,
     And shield thee, and save thee,—or perish there too!
     Come, rest in my embrace, my own wounded deer  
     Even though the herd has run away from you, your home is still here;  
     Here is still the smile that no cloud can overshadow,  
     And a heart and hand that are completely yours to the end.  

     Oh! what is love for, if it doesn’t remain  
     Through joy and suffering, through glory and shame?  
     I don’t know, I don’t ask, if there’s guilt in that heart,  
     I just know that I love you, no matter who you are.  

     You’ve called me your Angel in moments of happiness,  
     And I’ll be your Angel, even now in the midst of this—  
     Through the fire, unflinching, I’ll follow your steps,  
     And protect you, and save you— or die trying!  

It has been the fashion of late days to deny Moore Imagination, while granting him Fancy—a distinction originating with Coleridge—than whom no man more fully comprehended the great powers of Moore. The fact is, that the fancy of this poet so far predominates over all his other faculties, and over the fancy of all other men, as to have induced, very naturally, the idea that he is fanciful only. But never was there a greater mistake. Never was a grosser wrong done the fame of a true poet. In the compass of the English language I can call to mind no poem more profoundly—more weirdly imaginative, in the best sense, than the lines commencing—“I would I were by that dim lake”—which are the com. position of Thomas Moore. I regret that I am unable to remember them.

It has recently become popular to say that Moore lacks imagination, while still giving him credit for having fancy—a distinction that started with Coleridge—who understood Moore's great abilities better than anyone. The truth is, the poet's fancy overshadows all his other talents and the fancies of all other poets, leading many to think that he is only fanciful. But there has never been a bigger mistake. Never has a true poet's reputation been so wrongly diminished. In all of English literature, I can't think of any poem that is more deeply and strangely imaginative, in the best way, than the lines that start—“I would I were by that dim lake”—which are written by Thomas Moore. I wish I could remember them.

One of the noblest—and, speaking of Fancy—one of the most singularly fanciful of modern poets, was Thomas Hood. His “Fair Ines” had always for me an inexpressible charm:—

One of the most admirable—and, speaking of imagination—one of the most uniquely imaginative modern poets was Thomas Hood. His “Fair Ines” has always held an indescribable charm for me:

     O saw ye not fair Ines?
         She’s gone into the West,
     To dazzle when the sun is down,
         And rob the world of rest;
     She took our daylight with her,
         The smiles that we love best,
     With morning blushes on her cheek,
         And pearls upon her breast.

     O turn again, fair Ines,
         Before the fall of night,
     For fear the moon should shine alone,
         And stars unrivalltd bright;
     And blessed will the lover be
         That walks beneath their light,
     And breathes the love against thy cheek
         I dare not even write!

     Would I had been, fair Ines,
         That gallant cavalier,
     Who rode so gaily by thy side,
         And whisper’d thee so near!
     Were there no bonny dames at home
         Or no true lovers here,
     That he should cross the seas to win
         The dearest of the dear?

     I saw thee, lovely Ines,
         Descend along the shore,
     With bands of noble gentlemen,
         And banners waved before;
     And gentle youth and maidens gay,
         And snowy plumes they wore;
     It would have been a beauteous dream,
         If it had been no more!

     Alas, alas, fair Ines,
         She went away with song,
     With music waiting on her steps,
         And shootings of the throng;
     But some were sad and felt no mirth,
         But only Music’s wrong,
     In sounds that sang Farewell, Farewell,
         To her you’ve loved so long.

     Farewell, farewell, fair Ines,
         That vessel never bore
     So fair a lady on its deck,
         Nor danced so light before,—
     Alas for pleasure on the sea,
         And sorrow on the shorel
     The smile that blest one lover’s heart
         Has broken many more!
     Oh, did you not see beautiful Ines?
         She’s gone into the West,
     To shine when the sun goes down,
         And take away the world's rest;
     She took our daylight with her,
         The smiles that we love the most,
     With morning blushes on her cheek,
         And pearls upon her chest.

     Oh, come back, beautiful Ines,
         Before night falls,
     For fear the moon should shine alone,
         And stars stand out so bright;
     And blessed will be the lover
         Who walks beneath their light,
     And breathes the love against your cheek
         I dare not even write!

     I wish I had been, beautiful Ines,
         That gallant knight,
     Who rode so cheerfully by your side,
         And whispered to you so close!
     Were there no lovely ladies at home
         Or no true lovers here,
     That he should cross the seas to win
         The dearest of the dear?

     I saw you, lovely Ines,
         Walk down along the shore,
     With groups of noble gentlemen,
         And banners waving before;
     And gentle youths and cheerful maidens,
         In snowy plumes they wore;
     It would have been a beautiful dream,
         If it had been no more!

     Alas, alas, beautiful Ines,
         She left with a song,
     With music following her steps,
         And crowds shooting along;
     But some were sad and felt no joy,
         But only Music’s wrong,
     In sounds that sang Farewell, Farewell,
         To her you've loved so long.

     Farewell, farewell, beautiful Ines,
         That ship never carried
     So beautiful a lady on its deck,
         Nor danced so lightly before— 
     Alas for joy on the sea,
         And sorrow on the shore!
     The smile that blessed one lover’s heart
         Has broken many more!

“The Haunted House,” by the same author, is one of the truest poems ever written,—one of the truest, one of the most unexceptionable, one of the most thoroughly artistic, both in its theme and in its execution. It is, moreover, powerfully ideal—imaginative. I regret that its length renders it unsuitable for the purposes of this lecture. In place of it permit me to offer the universally appreciated “Bridge of Sighs”:—

“The Haunted House,” by the same author, is one of the most genuine poems ever written—one of the most genuine, one of the most flawless, one of the most thoroughly artistic, both in its theme and in its execution. It is also incredibly ideal—imaginative. I regret that its length makes it unsuitable for this lecture. Instead, let me present the widely admired “Bridge of Sighs”:—

     One more Unfortunate,
     Weary of breath,
     Rashly importunate
     Gone to her death!

     Take her up tenderly,
     Lift her with care;—
     Fashion’d so slenderly,
     Young and so fair!

     Look at her garments
     Clinging like cerements;
     Whilst the wave constantly
     Drips from her clothing;
     Take her up instantly,
     Loving not loathing.

     Touch her not scornfully;
     Think of her mournfully,
     Gently and humanly;
     Not of the stains of her,
     All that remains of her
     Now is pure womanly.

     Make no deep scrutiny
     Into her mutiny
     Rash and undutiful;
     Past all dishonor,
     Death has left on her
     Only the beautiful.

     Where the lamps quiver
     So far in the river,
     With many a light
     From window and casement
     From garret to basement,
     She stood, with amazement,
     Houseless by night.

     The bleak wind of March
     Made her tremble and shiver,
     But not the dark arch,
     Or the black flowing river:
     Mad from life’s history,
     Glad to death’s mystery,
     Swift to be hurl’d—
     Anywhere, anywhere
     Out of the world!

     In she plunged boldly,
     No matter how coldly
     The rough river ran,—
     Over the brink of it,
     Picture it,—think of it,
     Dissolute Man!
     Lave in it, drink of it
     Then, if you can!

     Still, for all slips of hers,
     One of Eve’s family—
     Wipe those poor lips of hers
     Oozing so clammily,
     Loop up her tresses
     Escaped from the comb,
     Her fair auburn tresses;
     Whilst wonderment guesses
     Where was her home?

     Who was her father?
     Who was her mother?
     Had she a sister?
     Had she a brother?
     Or was there a dearer one
     Still, and a nearer one
     Yet, than all other?

     Alas! for the rarity
     Of Christian charity
     Under the sun!
     Oh! it was pitiful!
     Near a whole city full,
     Home she had none.

     Sisterly, brotherly,
     Fatherly, motherly,
     Feelings had changed:
     Love, by harsh evidence,
     Thrown from its eminence;
     Even God’s providence
     Seeming estranged.

     Take her up tenderly;
     Lift her with care;
     Fashion’d so slenderly,
     Young, and so fair!
     Ere her limbs frigidly
     Stiffen too rigidly,
     Decently,—kindly,—
     Smooth and compose them;
     And her eyes, close them,
     Staring so blindly!

     Dreadfully staring
     Through muddy impurity,
     As when with the daring
     Last look of despairing
     Fixed on futurity.

     Perhishing gloomily,
     Spurred by contumely,
     Cold inhumanity,
     Burning insanity,
     Into her rest,—
     Cross her hands humbly,
     As if praying dumbly,
     Over her breast!
     Owning her weakness,
     Her evil behavior,
     And leaving, with meekness,
     Her sins to her Saviour!
     One more unfortunate,  
     Weary and out of breath,  
     Recklessly persistent  
     Has gone to her death!  

     Pick her up gently,  
     Lift her with care;—  
     Shaped so delicately,  
     Young and so fair!  

     Look at her clothes  
     Clinging like shrouds;  
     While the wave constantly  
     Drips from her outfit;  
     Pick her up quickly,  
     Loving, not hateful.  

     Don't touch her with scorn;  
     Think of her sadly,  
     Softly and humanely;  
     Not of her stains,  
     All that remains of her  
     Now is purely womanly.  

     Don’t dig too deep  
     Into her rebellion  
     Reckless and disobedient;  
     Beyond all dishonor,  
     Death has left her  
     Only the beautiful.  

     Where the lamps flicker  
     So far in the river,  
     With many lights  
     From windows and casements  
     From attics to basements,  
     She stood, amazed,  
     Homeless by night.  

     The cold March wind  
     Made her shiver and shake,  
     But not the dark arch,  
     Or the deep flowing river:  
     Crazy from life’s story,  
     Happy about death’s mystery,  
     Quick to be thrown—  
     Anywhere, anywhere  
     Out of the world!  

     In she plunged boldly,  
     No matter how coldly  
     The rough river ran,—  
     Over the edge of it,  
     Picture it,—think of it,  
     Dissolute Man!  
     Wash in it, drink of it  
     Then, if you can!  

     Still, for all her slips,  
     One of Eve’s family—  
     Wipe those poor lips of hers  
     Seeping so clammy,  
     Tidy her hair  
     Escaped from the comb,  
     Her lovely auburn hair;  
     While wonder guesses  
     Where was her home?  

     Who was her father?  
     Who was her mother?  
     Did she have a sister?  
     Did she have a brother?  
     Or was there someone dearer  
     Still, and closer  
     Yet, than all others?  

     Alas! for the rarity  
     Of Christian kindness  
     Under the sun!  
     Oh! it was pitiful!  
     Near a whole city full,  
     She had no home.  

     Sisterly, brotherly,  
     Fatherly, motherly,  
     Feelings had changed:  
     Love, by harsh proof,  
     Thrown from its height;  
     Even God’s providence  
     Seeming distant.  

     Pick her up gently;  
     Lift her with care;  
     Shaped so delicately,  
     Young, and so fair!  
     Before her limbs become  
     Too stiff, too rigid,  
     Decently—kindly—  
     Smooth and compose them;  
     And close her eyes,  
     Staring so blindly!  

     Terribly staring  
     Through muddy impurity,  
     As when with the daring  
     Last look of despair  
     Fixed on the future.  

     Perishing gloomily,  
     Spurred by insults,  
     Cold inhumanity,  
     Burning insanity,  
     Into her rest,—  
     Cross her hands humbly,  
     As if praying silently,  
     Over her chest!  
     Accepting her weakness,  
     Her bad behavior,  
     And leaving, with humility,  
     Her sins to her Savior!

The vigor of this poem is no less remarkable than its pathos. The versification although carrying the fanciful to the very verge of the fantastic, is nevertheless admirably adapted to the wild insanity which is the thesis of the poem.

The energy of this poem is just as impressive as its emotional depth. The rhythm, while pushing the boundaries of the imaginative, is still perfectly suited to the wild madness that is the main idea of the poem.

Among the minor poems of Lord Byron is one which has never received from the critics the praise which it undoubtedly deserves:—

Among the lesser-known poems of Lord Byron is one that has never gotten the recognition from critics that it clearly deserves:—

     Though the day of my destiny’s over,
         And the star of my fate bath declined
     Thy soft heart refused to discover
         The faults which so many could find;
     Though thy soul with my grief was acquainted,
         It shrunk not to share it with me,
     And the love which my spirit bath painted
         It never bath found but in thee.

     Then when nature around me is smiling,
         The last smile which answers to mine,
     I do not believe it beguiling,
         Because it reminds me of shine;
     And when winds are at war with the ocean,
         As the breasts I believed in with me,
     If their billows excite an emotion,
         It is that they bear me from thee.

     Though the rock of my last hope is shivered,
         And its fragments are sunk in the wave,
     Though I feel that my soul is delivered
         To pain—it shall not be its slave.
     There is many a pang to pursue me:
         They may crush, but they shall not contemn—
     They may torture, but shall not subdue me—
         ’Tis of thee that I think—not of them.

     Though human, thou didst not deceive me,
         Though woman, thou didst not forsake,
     Though loved, thou forborest to grieve me,
         Though slandered, thou never couldst shake,—
     Though trusted, thou didst not disclaim me,
         Though parted, it was not to fly,
     Though watchful, ’twas not to defame me,
         Nor mute, that the world might belie.

     Yet I blame not the world, nor despise it,
         Nor the war of the many with one—
     If my soul was not fitted to prize it,
         ’Twas folly not sooner to shun:
     And if dearly that error bath cost me,
         And more than I once could foresee,
     I have found that whatever it lost me,
         It could not deprive me of thee.

     From the wreck of the past, which bath perished,
         Thus much I at least may recall,
     It bath taught me that which I most cherished
         Deserved to be dearest of all:
     In the desert a fountain is springing,
         In the wide waste there still is a tree,
     And a bird in the solitude singing,
        Which speaks to my spirit of thee.
     Though the day of my fate is over,  
         And the star of my destiny has declined,  
     Your gentle heart refused to see  
         The faults that so many could find;  
     Though your soul was familiar with my pain,  
         It didn’t shrink from sharing it with me,  
     And the love my spirit has painted  
         It has only found in you.  

     Then when nature around me is smiling,  
         The last smile that responds to mine,  
     I don’t believe it’s deceiving,  
         Because it reminds me of you;  
     And when winds are at war with the ocean,  
         Like the hearts I once believed in with me,  
     If their waves stir an emotion,  
         It’s that they carry me away from you.  

     Though the rock of my last hope is shattered,  
         And its fragments are sunk in the waves,  
     Though I feel that my soul is handed  
         To pain—it shall not be its slave.  
     There are many pains that will pursue me:  
         They may crush me, but they won't demean me—  
     They may torment me, but they won’t conquer me—  
         It’s of you that I think—not of them.  

     Though human, you did not deceive me,  
         Though a woman, you did not forsake,  
     Though loved, you held back from grieving me,  
         Though slandered, you never could shake—  
     Though trusted, you did not deny me,  
         Though apart, it was not to run,  
     Though watchful, it was not to defame me,  
         Nor silent, so the world might lie.  

     Yet I blame not the world, nor do I despise it,  
         Nor the struggle of many against one—  
     If my soul wasn’t suited to appreciate it,  
         It was foolish not to avoid it sooner:  
     And if that mistake has cost me dearly,  
         And more than I could once foresee,  
     I have found that whatever it took from me,  
         It could not take away you.  

     From the wreck of the past that has perished,  
         This is at least what I can recall,  
     It has taught me that which I cherished  
         Deserved to be the dearest of all:  
     In the desert a fountain is springing,  
         In the wide wasteland there’s still a tree,  
     And a bird in the solitude singing,  
         Which speaks to my spirit of you. 

Although the rhythm here is one of the most difficult, the versification could scarcely be improved. No nobler theme ever engaged the pen of poet. It is the soul-elevating idea that no man can consider himself entitled to complain of Fate while in his adversity he still retains the unwavering love of woman.

Although the rhythm here is one of the most challenging, the structure could hardly be better. No nobler theme ever inspired a poet's pen. It’s the uplifting idea that no man has the right to complain about his fate while, in his struggles, he still has the steadfast love of a woman.

From Alfred Tennyson, although in perfect sincerity I regard him as the noblest poet that ever lived, I have left myself time to cite only a very brief specimen. I call him, and think him the noblest of poets, not because the impressions he produces are at all times the most profound—not because the poetical excitement which he induces is at all times the most intense—but because it is at all times the most ethereal—in other words, the most elevating and most pure. No poet is so little of the earth, earthy. What I am about to read is from his last long poem, “The Princess”:—

From Alfred Tennyson, even though I genuinely believe he is the greatest poet to ever exist, I've only allowed myself time to share a very short example. I call him, and I truly believe he is, the greatest of poets, not because the feelings he evokes are always the deepest—not because the poetic excitement he inspires is always the strongest—but because it is consistently the most ethereal—in other words, the most uplifting and pure. No poet is less tied to the earth. What I'm about to read is from his final long poem, “The Princess”:—

         Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean,
     Tears from the depth of some divine despair
     Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,
     In looking on the happy Autumn fields,
     And thinking of the days that are no more.

         Fresh as the first beam glittering on a sail,
     That brings our friends up from the underworld,
     Sad as the last which reddens over one
     That sinks with all we love below the verge;
     So sad, so fresh, the days that are no more.

         Ah, sad and strange as in dark summer dawns
     The earliest pipe of half-awaken’d birds
     To dying ears, when unto dying eyes
     The casement slowly grows a glimmering square;
     So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.

         Dear as remember’d kisses after death,
     And sweet as those by hopeless fancy feign’d
     On lips that are for others; deep as love,
     Deep as first love, and wild with all regret;
     O Death in Life, the days that are no more.
         Tears, idle tears, I don’t know what they mean,  
     Tears from the depths of some divine despair  
     Rise in the heart and gather in the eyes,  
     When looking at the happy autumn fields,  
     And thinking of the days that are gone.  

         Fresh as the first light glinting on a sail,  
     That brings our friends up from the underworld,  
     Sad as the last light that reddens over one  
     That sinks with everything we love below the horizon;  
     So sad, so fresh, the days that are gone.  

         Ah, sad and strange, like in dark summer dawns  
     The earliest call of half-awakened birds  
     To dying ears, as the window slowly reveals  
     A glimmering square;  
     So sad, so strange, the days that are gone.  

         Dear as remembered kisses after death,  
     And sweet as those imagined by hopeless fancy  
     On lips that belong to others; deep as love,  
     Deep as first love, and wild with all regret;  
     O Death in Life, the days that are gone.

Thus, although in a very cursory and imperfect manner, I have endeavored to convey to you my conception of the Poetic Principle. It has been my purpose to suggest that, while this principle itself is strictly and simply the Human Aspiration for Supernal Beauty, the manifestation of the Principle is always found in an elevating excitement of the soul, quite independent of that passion which is the intoxication of the Heart, or of that truth which is the satisfaction of the Reason. For in regard to passion, alas! its tendency is to degrade rather than to elevate the Soul. Love, on the contrary—Love—the true, the divine Eros—the Uranian as distinguished from the Diona an Venus—is unquestionably the purest and truest of all poetical themes. And in regard to Truth, if, to be sure, through the attainment of a truth we are led to perceive a harmony where none was apparent before, we experience at once the true poetical effect; but this effect is referable to the harmony alone, and not in the least degree to the truth which merely served to render the harmony manifest.

So, even though I've done it in a quick and imperfect way, I’ve tried to share my understanding of the Poetic Principle with you. My aim has been to suggest that this principle is essentially the Human Desire for Higher Beauty, and its expression is always found in an uplifting excitement of the soul, completely separate from the passion that intoxicates the Heart, or from the truth that satisfies the Mind. Unfortunately, when it comes to passion, its tendency is to lower rather than raise the Soul. Love, on the other hand—Love—the true, divine Eros—the Uranian as distinct from the Diona and Venus—certainly stands as the purest and most genuine of all poetic themes. Regarding Truth, if achieving a truth leads us to recognize a harmony that wasn’t visible before, we immediately feel the true poetic effect; however, this effect relates only to the harmony itself, and not at all to the truth that merely served to reveal the harmony.

We shall reach, however, more immediately a distinct conception of what the true Poetry is, by mere reference to a few of the simple elements which induce in the Poet himself the poetical effect He recognizes the ambrosia which nourishes his soul in the bright orbs that shine in Heaven—in the volutes of the flower—in the clustering of low shrubberies—in the waving of the grain-fields—in the slanting of tall eastern trees—in the blue distance of mountains—in the grouping of clouds—in the twinkling of half-hidden brooks—in the gleaming of silver rivers—in the repose of sequestered lakes—in the star-mirroring depths of lonely wells. He perceives it in the songs of birds—in the harp of Bolos—in the sighing of the night-wind—in the repining voice of the forest—in the surf that complains to the shore—in the fresh breath of the woods—in the scent of the violet—in the voluptuous perfume of the hyacinth—in the suggestive odour that comes to him at eventide from far distant undiscovered islands, over dim oceans, illimitable and unexplored. He owns it in all noble thoughts—in all unworldly motives—in all holy impulses—in all chivalrous, generous, and self-sacrificing deeds. He feels it in the beauty of woman—in the grace of her step—in the lustre of her eye—in the melody of her voice—in her soft laughter, in her sigh—in the harmony of the rustling of her robes. He deeply feels it in her winning endearments—in her burning enthusiasms—in her gentle charities—in her meek and devotional endurances—but above all—ah, far above all, he kneels to it—he worships it in the faith, in the purity, in the strength, in the altogether divine majesty—of her love.

We'll come to a clearer understanding of what true Poetry is by looking at a few simple elements that create a poetic effect in the Poet himself. He recognizes the inspiration that nourishes his soul in the bright stars shining in the sky—in the curves of flowers—in the clusters of low bushes—in the swaying of grain fields—in the slant of tall eastern trees—in the blue haze of mountains—in the arrangement of clouds—in the glimmer of half-hidden brooks—in the shine of silver rivers—in the stillness of secluded lakes—in the star-reflecting depths of lonely wells. He senses it in the songs of birds—in the music of Bolos—in the whisper of the night wind—in the sorrowful voice of the forest—in the waves that complain to the shore—in the fresh air of the woods—in the scent of violets—in the rich fragrance of hyacinths—in the enticing odor that drifts to him at dusk from faraway, undiscovered islands, over vast and uncharted oceans. He owns it in all noble thoughts—in all otherworldly motives—in all holy impulses—in all chivalrous, generous, and selfless actions. He feels it in a woman's beauty—in the grace of her movement—in the sparkle of her eyes—in the tune of her voice—in her gentle laughter, in her sigh—in the harmony of her rustling garments. He deeply feels it in her charming affections—in her passionate enthusiasms—in her kind gestures—in her quiet and devoted endurance—but above all—oh, far above all, he kneels to it—he worships it in the faith, in the purity, in the strength, and in the entirely divine majesty—of her love.

Let me conclude by—the recitation of yet another brief poem—one very different in character from any that I have before quoted. It is by Motherwell, and is called “The Song of the Cavalier.” With our modern and altogether rational ideas of the absurdity and impiety of warfare, we are not precisely in that frame of mind best adapted to sympathize with the sentiments, and thus to appreciate the real excellence of the poem. To do this fully we must identify ourselves in fancy with the soul of the old cavalier:—

Let me wrap up by reciting another short poem, one that's quite different from any I've shared before. It's by Motherwell and is titled “The Song of the Cavalier.” With our current rational views on the absurdity and immorality of war, we aren't really in the right mindset to connect with the poem's sentiments and fully appreciate its true brilliance. To do that, we need to imagine ourselves in the spirit of the old cavalier:—

     Then mounte! then mounte, brave gallants all,
         And don your helmes amaine:
     Deathe’s couriers. Fame and Honor call
         No shrewish teares shall fill your eye
     When the sword-hilt’s in our hand,—
         Heart-whole we’ll part, and no whit sighe
     For the fayrest of the land;
         Let piping swaine, and craven wight,
     Thus weepe and poling crye,
         Our business is like men to fight.
     Then come on! Then come on, brave guys all,
         And put on your helmets quickly:
     Death’s messengers. Fame and Honor call,
         No whiny tears shall fill your eyes
     When the sword-hilt’s in our hands—
         Wholeheartedly we’ll part, and won’t sigh
     For the fairest in the land;
         Let the piping shepherd, and cowardly one,
     Weep and cry all they want,
         Our job is to fight like men.

OLD ENGLISH POETRY (*)

It should not be doubted that at least one-third of the affection with which we regard the elder poets of Great Britain should be-attributed to what is, in itself, a thing apart from poetry-we mean to the simple love of the antique-and that, again, a third of even the proper poetic sentiment inspiredby their writings should be ascribed to a fact which, while it has strict connection with poetry in the abstract, and with the old British poems themselves, should not be looked upon as a merit appertaining to the authors of the poems. Almost every devout admirer of the old bards, if demanded his opinion of their productions, would mention vaguely, yet with perfect sincerity, a sense of dreamy, wild, indefinite, and he would perhaps say, indefinable delight; on being required to point out the source of this so shadowy pleasure, he would be apt to speak of the quaint in phraseology and in general handling. This quaintness is, in fact, a very powerful adjunct to ideality, but in the case in question it arises independently of the author’s will, and is altogether apart from his intention. Words and their rhythm have varied. Verses which affect us to-day with a vivid delight, and which delight, in many instances, may be traced to the one source, quaintness, must have worn in the days of their construction, a very commonplace air. This is, of course, no argument against the poems now-we mean it only as against the poets thew. There is a growing desire to overrate them. The old English muse was frank, guileless, sincere, and although very learned, still learned without art. No general error evinces a more thorough confusion of ideas than the error of supposing Donne and Cowley metaphysical in the sense wherein Wordsworth and Coleridge are so. With the two former ethics were the end-with the two latter the means. The poet of the “Creation” wished, by highly artificial verse, to inculcate what he supposed to be moral truth-the poet of the “Ancient Mariner” to infuse the Poetic Sentiment through channels suggested by analysis. The one finished by complete failure what he commenced in the grossest misconception; the other, by a path which could not possibly lead him astray, arrived at a triumph which is not the less glorious because hidden from the profane eyes of the multitude. But in this view even the “metaphysical verse” of Cowley is but evidence of the simplicity and single-heartedness of the man. And he was in this but a type of his school-for we may as well designate in this way the entire class of writers whose poems are bound up in the volume before us, and throughout all of whom there runs a very perceptible general character. They used little art in composition. Their writings sprang immediately from the soul-and partook intensely of that soul’s nature. Nor is it difficult to perceive the tendency of this abandon-to elevate immeasurably all the energies of mind-but, again, so to mingle the greatest possible fire, force, delicacy, and all good things, with the lowest possible bathos, baldness, and imbecility, as to render it not a matter of doubt that the average results of mind in such a school will be found inferior to those results in one (ceteris paribus) more artificial.

It should be clear that at least one-third of the affection we have for the older poets of Great Britain comes from something separate from poetry itself—our simple love for the ancient. Additionally, about a third of the genuine poetic feeling inspired by their works can be attributed to a fact that, while closely related to poetry in general and the old British poems themselves, shouldn't be considered a merit of the poets. Almost every devoted admirer of the old bards, when asked for their opinion on their works, would vaguely yet sincerely express a sense of dreamy, wild, and possibly undefinable delight. If asked to identify the source of this elusive pleasure, they might refer to the quirky language and overall style. This quirkiness is actually a strong contributor to idealism, but in this case, it arises independently of the author's intention and is entirely apart from their goals. Words and their rhythms have changed. Verses that bring us vivid delight today, and whose charm can often be traced back to that quirkiness, must have seemed quite ordinary at the time they were created. This isn't an argument against the poems themselves, but rather against the poets. There’s a growing tendency to exaggerate their significance. The old English muse was straightforward, sincere, and though knowledgeable, learned without pretension. One of the biggest misconceptions is assuming that Donne and Cowley are metaphysical in the same way that Wordsworth and Coleridge are. For the former, ethics were the goal, while for the latter, they were just a means to an end. The poet of the “Creation” aimed to convey what he believed was moral truth through highly crafted verse, while the poet of the “Ancient Mariner” intended to convey poetic sentiment through analytical means. The first ultimately failed due to a major misunderstanding, while the latter, having followed a path unlikely to mislead him, achieved a triumph that is no less glorious for being hidden from the eyes of the general public. Even Cowley’s “metaphysical verse” reflects his simplicity and sincerity. He exemplified his school—if we can use that term for the entire group of writers whose poems are collected in this volume, all of whom share a distinct overall character. They used little artistry in their writing. Their works came directly from the soul and deeply reflected that soul’s essence. It’s not hard to see how this free-spirited approach could potentially elevate the mind’s energies immensely, while also combining a tremendous amount of passion, strength, delicacy, and goodness with a minimal amount of badness, dullness, and foolishness, making it clear that the average intellectual output from such a school will likely be lower than that of a more artificial one under similar conditions.

We can not bring ourselves to believe that the selections of the “Book of Gems” are such as will impart to a poetical reader the clearest possible idea of the beauty of the school-but if the intention had been merely to show the school’s character, the attempt might have been considered successful in the highest degree. There are long passages now before us of the most despicable trash, with no merit whatever beyond that of their antiquity.. The criticisms of the editor do not particularly please us. His enthusiasm is too general and too vivid not to be false. His opinion, for example, of Sir Henry Wotton’s “Verses on the Queen of Bohemia"-that “there are few finer things in our language,” is untenable and absurd.

We can’t bring ourselves to believe that the selections in the “Book of Gems” effectively convey the beauty of the school to a poetic reader—but if the goal was just to showcase the character of the school, then the effort could be deemed highly successful. Right now, we’re faced with long sections of complete rubbish, with no value apart from their age. The editor's critiques don’t really sit well with us. His enthusiasm is too broad and intense to be genuine. His view, for instance, on Sir Henry Wotton’s “Verses on the Queen of Bohemia”—that “there are few finer things in our language”—is unreasonable and ridiculous.

In such lines we can perceive not one of those higher attributes of Poesy which belong to her in all circumstances and throughout all time. Here every thing is art, nakedly, or but awkwardly concealed. No prepossession for the mere antique (and in this case we can imagine no other prepossession) should induce us to dignify with the sacred name of poetry, a series, such as this, of elaborate and threadbare compliments, stitched, apparently, together, without fancy, without plausibility, and without even an attempt at adaptation.

In these lines, we can't see any of the higher qualities of poetry that belong to it in all situations and throughout time. Here, everything is just art, either exposed or poorly hidden. No bias towards the mere old-fashioned (and in this case, we can't imagine any other bias) should lead us to call this series of elaborate and worn-out compliments poetry, as it seems to be stitched together without creativity, without reason, and with no effort at all to make it relevant.

In common with all the world, we have been much delighted with “The Shepherd’s Hunting” by Withers—a poem partaking, in a remarkable degree, of the peculiarities of “Il Penseroso.” Speaking of Poesy the author says:

In line with everyone else, we have really enjoyed “The Shepherd’s Hunting” by Withers—a poem that shares many traits with “Il Penseroso.” When discussing poetry, the author says:

     “By the murmur of a spring,
     Or the least boughs rustleling,
     By a daisy whose leaves spread,
     Shut when Titan goes to bed,
     Or a shady bush or tree,
     She could more infuse in me
     Than all Nature’s beauties can
     In some other wiser man.
     By her help I also now
     Make this churlish place allow
     Something that may sweeten gladness
     In the very gall of sadness—
     The dull loneness, the black shade,
     That these hanging vaults have made
     The strange music of the waves
     Beating on these hollow caves,
     This black den which rocks emboss,
     Overgrown with eldest moss,
     The rude portals that give light
     More to terror than delight,
     This my chamber of neglect

     Walled about with disrespect;
     From all these and this dull air
     A fit object for despair,
     She hath taught me by her might
     To draw comfort and delight.”
 
     “By the sound of a spring,  
     Or the slightest rustle of leaves,  
     By a daisy with petals that open,  
     Closed when the sun goes down,  
     Or a shady bush or tree,  
     She could inspire me more  
     Than all of Nature’s beauty can  
     In some other smarter person.  
     With her help, I can also now  
     Make this harsh place allow  
     Something that can sweeten joy  
     Even in the bitterness of sadness—  
     The dull loneliness, the dark shade,  
     That these hanging vaults have created,  
     The strange music of the waves  
     Crashing against these hollow caves,  
     This dark den where rocks press in,  
     Covered in ancient moss,  
     The rough openings that let in light  
     More for fear than for pleasure,  
     This chamber of neglect  

     Surrounded by disrespect;  
     From all of this and this dull air  
     A fitting target for despair,  
     She has taught me by her power  
     To find comfort and joy.”

But these lines, however good, do not bear with them much of the general character of the English antique. Something more of this will be found in Corbet’s “Farewell to the Fairies!” We copy a portion of Marvell’s “Maiden lamenting for her Fawn,” which we prefer-not only as a specimen of the elder poets, but in itself as a beautiful poem, abounding in pathos, exquisitely delicate imagination and truthfulness-to anything of its species:

But these lines, no matter how good, don't really capture the overall feel of classic English poetry. You’ll find a bit more of that in Corbet’s “Farewell to the Fairies!” We’ve included a section from Marvell’s “Maiden Lamenting for Her Fawn,” which we like not just as an example of earlier poets, but also because it’s a beautiful poem full of emotion, finely crafted imagination, and honesty—better than anything else of its kind:

     “It is a wondrous thing how fleet
     ’Twas on those little silver feet,
     With what a pretty skipping grace
     It oft would challenge me the race,
     And when’t had left me far away
     ’Twould stay, and run again, and stay;
     For it was nimbler much than hinds,
     And trod as if on the four winds.
     I have a garden of my own,
     But so with roses overgrown,
     And lilies, that you would it guess
     To be a little wilderness;
     And all the spring-time of the year
     It only loved to be there.
     Among the beds of lilies I
     Have sought it oft where it should lie,
     Yet could not, till itself would rise,
     Find it, although before mine eyes.
     For in the flaxen lilies’ shade
     It like a bank of lilies laid;
     Upon the roses it would feed
     Until its lips even seemed to bleed,
     And then to me ’twould boldly trip,
     And print those roses on my lip,
     But all its chief delight was still
     With roses thus itself to fill,
     And its pure virgin limbs to fold
     In whitest sheets of lilies cold.
     Had it lived long, it would have been
     Lilies without, roses within.”
 
     “It's amazing how quickly  
     It moved on those little silver feet,  
     With such a charming skipping grace  
     It would often challenge me to a race,  
     And when it had left me far behind  
     It would pause, run again, and unwind;  
     For it was much swifter than deer,  
     And moved as if on the four winds.  
     I have a garden of my own,  
     But it's so overrun with roses,  
     And lilies, that you might guess  
     It's like a little wilderness;  
     And all through the springtime of the year  
     It loved to be right there.  
     Among the beds of lilies, I  
     Often searched for it where it would lie,  
     Yet couldn’t find it until it rose,  
     Even though it was right before my eyes.  
     For in the shade of the golden lilies  
     It lay like a bank of lilies;  
     It would feed on the roses  
     Until its lips looked like they were bleeding,  
     And then it would boldly come to me,  
     Leaving those rose prints on my lip,  
     But its greatest joy was still  
     To fill itself with roses this way,  
     And wrap its pure virgin limbs  
     In the coldest, whitest sheets of lilies.  
     If it had lived longer, it would have been  
     Lilies on the outside, roses on the inside.”

How truthful an air of lamentations hangs here upon every syllable! It pervades all.. It comes over the sweet melody of the words-over the gentleness and grace which we fancy in the little maiden herself-even over the half-playful, half-petulant air with which she lingers on the beauties and good qualities of her favorite-like the cool shadow of a summer cloud over a bed of lilies and violets, “and all sweet flowers.” The whole is redolent with poetry of a very lofty order. Every line is an idea conveying either the beauty and playfulness of the fawn, or the artlessness of the maiden, or her love, or her admiration, or her grief, or the fragrance and warmth and appropriateness of the little nest-like bed of lilies and roses which the fawn devoured as it lay upon them, and could scarcely be distinguished from them by the once happy little damsel who went to seek her pet with an arch and rosy smile on her face. Consider the great variety of truthful and delicate thought in the few lines we have quoted the wonder of the little maiden at the fleetness of her favorite-the “little silver feet”—the fawn challenging his mistress to a race with “a pretty skipping grace,” running on before, and then, with head turned back, awaiting her approach only to fly from it again-can we not distinctly perceive all these things? How exceedingly vigorous, too, is the line,

How genuine a sense of sorrow hangs over every word here! It fills everything. It overlays the sweet melody of the words—the kindness and grace we imagine in the little girl herself—even the playful, slightly sulky way she lingers on the beauty and good qualities of her favorite, like the cool shade of a summer cloud over a bed of lilies and violets, "and all sweet flowers." The whole piece is infused with poetry of a very high quality. Every line conveys an idea that reflects either the beauty and playfulness of the fawn, or the innocence of the girl, or her love, admiration, or sadness, or the fragrance and warmth and appropriateness of the little nest-like bed of lilies and roses that the fawn devoured as it lay upon them, barely distinguishable from them by the once-happy girl who went to find her pet with a playful and rosy smile on her face. Consider the wide range of honest and delicate thoughts in the few lines we've quoted—the wonder of the little girl at the quickness of her favorite—the “little silver feet”—the fawn playfully challenging its owner to a race with “a pretty skipping grace,” running ahead and then turning its head back, waiting for her to catch up only to dash away again—can't we clearly see all this? How powerful, too, is the line,

“And trod as if on the four winds!”

“And walked as if on the four winds!”

A vigor apparent only when we keep in mind the artless character of the speaker and the four feet of the favorite, one for each wind. Then consider the garden of “my own,” so overgrown, entangled with roses and lilies, as to be “a little wilderness”—the fawn loving to be there, and there “only”—the maiden seeking it “where it should lie”—and not being able to distinguish it from the flowers until “itself would rise”—the lying among the lilies “like a bank of lilies”—the loving to “fill itself with roses,”

A vitality that stands out when we remember the innocent nature of the speaker and the four legs of the favorite, one for each direction of the wind. Now think about the garden of "mine," so overgrown and tangled with roses and lilies that it becomes "a little wilderness"—the fawn loving to be there, and there "only"—the maiden searching for it "where it should be"—not being able to tell it apart from the flowers until "itself would rise"—lying among the lilies "like a bank of lilies"—loving to "fill itself with roses,"

        “And its pure virgin limbs to fold
        In whitest sheets of lilies cold,”
 
        “And its pure, untouched limbs to wrap
        In the coldest, whitest sheets of lilies,”

and these things being its “chief” delights-and then the pre-eminent beauty and naturalness of the concluding lines, whose very hyperbole only renders them more true to nature when we consider the innocence, the artlessness, the enthusiasm, the passionate girl, and more passionate admiration of the bereaved child—

and these things being its “main” delights—and then the outstanding beauty and authenticity of the final lines, whose exaggeration only makes them more true to life when we think about the innocence, the simplicity, the enthusiasm, the passionate girl, and the even more passionate admiration of the grieving child—

“Had it lived long, it would have been Lilies without, roses within.”

“Had it lived long, it would have been lilies on the outside, roses on the inside.”

* “Book of Gems,” Edited by S. C. Hall

* “Book of Gems,” Edited by S. C. Hall

POEMS

                        TO

            THE NOBLEST OF HER SEX

                  THE AUTHOR OF

            “THE DRAMA OF EXILE”—

                        TO

            MISS ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING

                   OF ENGLAND

            I DEDICATE THIS VOLUME

      WITH THE MOST ENTHUSIASTIC ADMIRATION AND WITH

            THE MOST SINCERE ESTEEM

      1845                      E.A.P.
                        TO

            THE NOBLEST OF HER SEX

                  THE AUTHOR OF

            “THE DRAMA OF EXILE”—

                        TO

            MISS ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING

                   OF ENGLAND

            I DEDICATE THIS VOLUME

      WITH THE MOST ENTHUSIASTIC ADMIRATION AND WITH

            THE MOST SINCERE ESTEEM

      1845                      E.A.P.

PREFACE

These trifles are collected and republished chiefly with a view to their redemption from the many improvements to which they have been subjected while going at random the “rounds of the press.” I am naturally anxious that what I have written should circulate as I wrote it, if it circulate at all. In defence of my own taste, nevertheless, it is incumbent upon me to say that I think nothing in this volume of much value to the public, or very creditable to myself. Events not to be controlled have prevented me from making, at any time, any serious effort in what, under happier circumstances, would have been the field of my choice. With me poetry has been not a purpose, but a passion; and the passions should be held in reverence: they must not-they can not at will be excited, with an eye to the paltry compensations, or the more paltry commendations, of man-kind.

These small pieces are gathered and published again mainly to save them from the many changes they've gone through while randomly making the "rounds of the press." I genuinely hope that what I've written is shared as I originally wrote it, if it gets shared at all. However, to defend my own taste, I feel it's necessary to say that I don’t think anything in this book is particularly valuable to the public or very commendable for me. Uncontrollable events have kept me from ever making a serious effort in what, under better circumstances, would have been my chosen path. For me, poetry has not been a goal, but a passion; and passions should be valued: they shouldn’t—and can’t—be stirred up at will for the sake of petty rewards or even pettier praise from humanity.

                           E. A. P.

   1845
E. A. Poe

   1845

POEMS OF LATER LIFE

THE RAVEN.

 Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
 Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
 While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
 As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
 “’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door—
                          Only this, and nothing more.”

 Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
 And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
 Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to borrow
 From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lenore—
 For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
                          Nameless here for evermore.

 And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
 Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
 So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
 “’Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door—
 Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;—
                          This it is, and nothing more.”

 Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
 “Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
 But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
 And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
 That I scarce was sure I heard you “—here I opened wide the door;——
                          Darkness there and nothing more.

 Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
 Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
 But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
 And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore!”
  This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!”—
                          Merely this, and nothing more.

 Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
 Soon I heard again a tapping somewhat louder than before.
 “Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice;
 Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore—
 Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;—
                          ’Tis the wind and nothing more!”

 Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
 In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore;
 Not the least obeisance made he; not an instant stopped or stayed he;
 But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door—
 Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door—
                          Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

 Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
 By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
 “Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no craven,
 Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore—
 Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!”
                          Quoth the raven “Nevermore.”

 Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
 Though its answer little meaning—little relevancy bore;
 For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
 Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door—
 Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
                         With such name as “Nevermore.”

 But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
 That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
 Nothing farther then he uttered—not a feather then he fluttered—
 Till I scarcely more than muttered “Other friends have flown before—
 On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.”
                          Then the bird said “Nevermore.”

 Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
 “Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store
 Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
 Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore—
 Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
                         Of “Never—nevermore.”

 But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
 Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
 Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
 Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore—
 What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
                         Meant in croaking “Nevermore.”

 This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
 To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core;
 This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
 On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamplght gloated o’er,
 But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o’er,
                          She shall press, ah, nevermore!

 Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
 Swung by Angels whose faint foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
 “Wretch,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee—by these angels he hath sent
 thee
 Respite—respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore;
 Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!”
                           Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

 “Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!—
 Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
 Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted—
 On this home by Horror haunted—tell me truly, I implore—
 Is there—is there balm in Gilead?—tell me—tell me, I implore!”
                           Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

 “Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil—prophet still, if bird or devil!
 By that Heaven that bends above us—by that God we both adore—
 Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
 It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
 Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.”
                           Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

 “Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked, upstarting—
 “Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!
 Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
 Leave my loneliness unbroken!—quit the bust above my door!
 Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”
                          Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

 And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
 On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
 And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,
 And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
 And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
                          Shall be lifted—nevermore!
Once upon a dreary midnight, while I was lost in thought, weak and tired,  
Over many an odd and intriguing book of forgotten knowledge,  
While I nodded off, nearly asleep, suddenly there came a tapping,  
As if someone was softly knocking, knocking at my chamber door.  
“It's just some visitor,” I muttered, “knocking at my chamber door—  
                           Only this, and nothing more.”  

Ah, I clearly remember it was in the harsh December,  
And each dying ember cast its ghost upon the floor.  
Eagerly I hoped for the morning—hopelessly I had tried to borrow  
From my books an end to sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lenore—  
For the rare and shining maiden whom the angels call Lenore—  
                           Nameless here forevermore.  

And the sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain  
Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic fears I’d never felt before;  
So that now, to calm my racing heart, I stood repeating  
“It's just some visitor asking for entrance at my chamber door—  
Some late visitor asking for entrance at my chamber door—  
                           This it is, and nothing more.”  

Soon my soul grew stronger; hesitating no longer,  
“Sir,” said I, “or Madam, I truly beg your forgiveness;  
But the fact is I was napping, and you came knocking so gently,  
And so softly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,  
That I hardly was sure I heard you—here I opened wide the door—  
                           Darkness there and nothing more.  

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,  
Doubting, dreaming dreams that no human ever dared to dream before;  
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no sign,  
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore!”  
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!”—  
                           Merely this, and nothing more.  

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,  
Soon I heard again a tapping somewhat louder than before.  
“Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window latch;  
Let me see, then, what it is, and let me explore this mystery—  
Let my heart be still a moment and let me explore this mystery—  
                           It’s just the wind and nothing more!”  

I flung open the shutter when, with many a flutter and flirt,  
In there stepped a dignified raven from the old days of yore;  
Not the least courtesy did he show; not a moment did he pause;  
But, with the demeanor of a lord or lady, perched above my chamber door—  
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door—  
                           Perched, and sat, and nothing more.  

Then this ebony bird, charming my sad thoughts into smiling,  
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,  
“Though your crest be shorn and shaven, you,” I said, “are no coward,  
Ghastly, grim and ancient raven wandering from the shores of Night—  
Tell me what your lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!”  
                           Quoth the raven “Nevermore.”  

I marveled much at this ungainly bird that spoke so plainly,  
Though its answer had little meaning—little relevance;  
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being  
Ever yet was blessed with seeing a bird above his chamber door—  
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,  
                           With such name as “Nevermore.”  

But the raven, sitting lonely on the calm bust, spoke only  
That one word, as if his soul was poured out in that one word.  
Nothing more then he uttered—not a feather then he fluttered—  
Till I scarcely more than muttered “Other friends have flown before—  
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.”  
                           Then the bird said “Nevermore.”  

Startled at the stillness broken by a reply so appropriately spoken,  
“Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store,  
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster  
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs bore one burden—  
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore  
                           Of “Never—nevermore.”  

But the raven still charming all my sad soul into smiling,  
I quickly wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;  
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I took to linking  
Fancies with fancies, wondering what this ominous bird of yore—  
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore  
                           Meant in croaking “Nevermore.”  

This I sat engaged in guessing, but not a word expressing  
To the bird whose fiery eyes now burned into my heart’s core;  
This and more I sat imagining, with my head comfortably reclining  
On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamplight glowed over,  
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight glowing over,  
                           She shall press, ah, nevermore!  

Then, I thought, the air grew heavier, scented from an unseen censer  
Swung by angels whose faint footsteps tinkled on the tufted floor.  
“Wretch,” I cried, “your God has lent you—by these angels he has sent you  
Respite—respite and forgetfulness from your memories of Lenore;  
Drink, oh drink this kind forgetfulness and forget this lost Lenore!”  
                           Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”  

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!—  
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed you here ashore,  
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this enchanted desert land—  
On this home haunted by Horror—tell me truly, I implore—  
Is there—is there balm in Gilead?—tell me—tell me, I implore!”  
                           Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”  

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil—prophet still, if bird or devil!  
By that Heaven that looks down on us—by that God we both adore—  
Tell this soul weighed down with sorrow if, within the distant Aidenn,  
It shall hold a saintly maiden whom the angels call Lenore—  
Hold a rare and shining maiden whom the angels call Lenore.”  
                           Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”  

“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I screamed, upstarting—  
“Get back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!  
Leave no black feather as a token of that lie your soul has spoken!  
Leave my loneliness unbroken!—quit the bust above my door!  
Take your beak from out my heart, and take your form from off my door!”  
                           Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”  

And the raven, never leaving, still is sitting, still is sitting  
On the pale bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;  
And his eyes have all the appearance of a dreaming demon,  
And the lamp-light streaming over him casts his shadow on the floor;  
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor  
                           Shall be lifted—nevermore!  

Published 1845.

Published 1845.

THE BELLS.

                                       I.

                    Hear the sledges with the bells—
                          Silver bells!
     What a world of merriment their melody foretells!
                How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle,
                      In the icy air of night!
                While the stars that oversprinkle
                All the heavens, seem to twinkle
                      With a crystalline delight;
                   Keeping time, time, time,
                   In a sort of Runic rhyme,
     To the tintinnabulation that so musically wells
           From the bells, bells, bells, bells,
                          Bells, bells, bells—
        From the jingling and the tinkling of the bells.

                                      II.

                    Hear the mellow wedding-bells
                          Golden bells!
     What a world of happiness their harmony foretells!
                Through the balmy air of night
                How they ring out their delight!—
                      From the molten-golden notes,
                          And all in tune,
                      What a liquid ditty floats
           To the turtle-dove that listens, while she gloats
                          On the moon!
                  Oh, from out the sounding cells,
     What a gush of euphony voluminously wells!
                          How it swells!
                          How it dwells
                      On the Future!—how it tells
                      Of the rapture that impels
                  To the swinging and the ringing
                      Of the bells, bells, bells—
           Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
                          Bells, bells, bells—
        To the rhyming and the chiming of the bells!

                                      III.

                    Hear the loud alarum bells—
                          Brazen bells!
     What tale of terror, now, their turbulency tells!
                In the startled ear of night
                How they scream out their affright!
                    Too much horrified to speak,
                    They can only shriek, shriek,
                       Out of tune,
     In a clamorous appealing to the mercy of the fire,
     In a mad expostulation with the deaf and frantic fire,
                       Leaping higher, higher, higher,
                       With a desperate desire,
                    And a resolute endeavor
                    Now—now to sit, or never,
                By the side of the pale-faced moon.
                       Oh, the bells, bells, bells!
                       What a tale their terror tells
                          Of Despair!
             How they clang, and clash, and roar!
             What a horror they outpour
     On the bosom of the palpitating air!
                Yet the ear, it fully knows,
                      By the twanging
                      And the clanging,
                 How the danger ebbs and flows;
             Yet, the ear distinctly tells,
                   In the jangling
                   And the wrangling,
             How the danger sinks and swells,
     By the sinking or the swelling in the anger of the bells—
                   Of the bells—
           Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
                          Bells, bells, bells—
        In the clamour and the clangour of the bells!

                                   IV.

                    Hear the tolling of the bells—
                          Iron bells!
     What a world of solemn thought their monody compels!
             In the silence of the night,
             How we shiver with affright
         At the melancholy meaning of their tone!
                 For every sound that floats
                 From the rust within their throats
                         Is a groan.
                     And the people—ah, the people—
                     They that dwell up in the steeple,
                         All alone,
                 And who, tolling, tolling, tolling,
                     In that muffled monotone,
                 Feel a glory in so rolling
                     On the human heart a stone—
             They are neither man nor woman—
             They are neither brute nor human—
                         They are Ghouls:—
                 And their king it is who tolls:—
                 And he rolls, rolls, rolls, rolls,
                          Rolls
                     A pæan from the bells!
                 And his merry bosom swells
                     With the pæan of the bells!
                 And he dances, and he yells;
             Keeping time, time, time,
             In a sort of Runic rhyme,
                     To the pæan of the bells—
                          Of the bells:—
             Keeping time, time, time,
             In a sort of Runic rhyme,
                     To the throbbing of the bells—
                 Of the bells, bells, bells—
                     To the sobbing of the bells:—
             Keeping time, time, time,
                 As he knells, knells, knells,
             In a happy Runic rhyme,
                     To the rolling of the bells—
                 Of the bells, bells, bells:—
                     To the tolling of the bells—
           Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
                          Bells, bells, bells—
        To the moaning and the groaning of the bells.
                                       I.

                    Listen to the sleds with the bells—
                          Silver bells!
     What a world of joy their sound promises!
                How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle,
                      In the cold night air!
                While the stars that dot the sky
                Seem to twinkle
                      With a crystal joy;
                   Keeping time, time, time,
                   In a sort of ancient rhyme,
     To the ringing that flows so musically
           From the bells, bells, bells, bells,
                          Bells, bells, bells—
        From the jingling and tinkling of the bells.

                                      II.

                    Listen to the sweet wedding bells
                          Golden bells!
     What a world of happiness their tune promises!
                Through the soft night air
                How they ring out their joy!—
                      From the molten-golden notes,
                          All in sync,
                      What a soothing tune floats
           To the dove that listens, while she revels
                          Under the moon!
                  Oh, from the ringing sounds,
     What a rush of harmony pours out!
                          How it swells!
                          How it lingers
                      On the Future!—how it reveals
                      The joy that drives
                  The swinging and ringing
                      Of the bells, bells, bells—
           Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
                          Bells, bells, bells—
        To the rhyming and chiming of the bells!

                                      III.

                    Listen to the loud alarm bells—
                          Loud bells!
     What story of fear, now, their chaos tells!
                In the startled night
                How they scream in fright!
                    Too terrified to speak,
                    They can only shriek, shriek,
                       Out of tune,
     In a loud plea for mercy from the fire,
     In a frantic argument with the raging fire,
                       Leaping higher, higher, higher,
                       With a desperate longing,
                    And a determined effort
                    Now—now to settle, or never,
                By the side of the pale moon.
                       Oh, the bells, bells, bells!
                       What a tale their terror tells
                          Of Despair!
             How they clang, and clash, and roar!
             What a horror they unleash
     On the breathless air!
                Yet the ear, it knows well,
                      By the ringing
                      And the clanging,
                 How the danger rises and falls;
             Yet, the ear clearly tells,
                   In the clashing
                   And the shouting,
             How the danger sinks and swells,
     By the rising or falling in the anger of the bells—
                   Of the bells—
           Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
                          Bells, bells, bells—
        In the noise and clamor of the bells!

                                   IV.

                    Listen to the tolling of the bells—
                          Iron bells!
     What a world of serious thought their sound demands!
             In the silence of the night,
             How we tremble with fear
         At the sad meaning of their tone!
                 For every sound that drifts
                 From the rust within their throats
                         Is a groan.
                     And the people—oh, the people—
                     They that dwell up in the steeple,
                         All alone,
                 And who, tolling, tolling, tolling,
                     In that muffled tone,
                 Feel a heaviness as they roll
                     A stone on the human heart—
             They are neither man nor woman—
             They are neither beast nor human—
                         They are Ghouls:—
                 And their king it is who tolls:—
                 And he rolls, rolls, rolls, rolls,
                          Rolls
                     A hymn from the bells!
                 And his happy heart swells
                     With the hymn of the bells!
                 And he dances, and he shouts;
             Keeping time, time, time,
             In a sort of ancient rhyme,
                     To the hymn of the bells—
                          Of the bells:—
             Keeping time, time, time,
             In a sort of ancient rhyme,
                     To the beating of the bells—
                 Of the bells, bells, bells—
                     To the crying of the bells:—
             Keeping time, time, time,
                 As he tolls, tolls, tolls,
             In a joyful ancient rhyme,
                     To the rolling of the bells—
                 Of the bells, bells, bells:—
                     To the tolling of the bells—
           Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
                          Bells, bells, bells—
        To the moaning and groaning of the bells.

1849.

1849.

ULALUME

     The skies they were ashen and sober;
         The leaves they were crisped and sere—
         The leaves they were withering and sere;
     It was night in the lonesome October
         Of my most immemorial year:
     It was hard by the dim lake of Auber,
         In the misty mid region of Weir:—
     It was down by the dank tarn of Auber,
         In the ghoul-haunted woodland of Weir.

     Here once, through an alley Titanic,
         Of cypress, I roamed with my Soul—
         Of cypress, with Psyche, my Soul.
     There were days when my heart was volcanic
         As the scoriac rivers that roll—
         As the lavas that restlessly roll
     Their sulphurous currents down Yaanek,
         In the ultimate climes of the Pole—
     That groan as they roll down Mount Yaanek
         In the realms of the Boreal Pole.

     Our talk had been serious and sober,
         But our thoughts they were palsied and sere—
         Our memories were treacherous and sere;
     For we knew not the month was October,
         And we marked not the night of the year—
         (Ah, night of all nights in the year!)
     We noted not the dim lake of Auber,
         (Though once we had journeyed down here)
     We remembered not the dank tarn of Auber,
         Nor the ghoul-haunted woodland of Weir.

     And now, as the night was senescent,
         And star-dials pointed to morn—
         As the star-dials hinted of morn—
     At the end of our path a liquescent
         And nebulous lustre was born,
     Out of which a miraculous crescent
         Arose with a duplicate horn—
     Astarte’s bediamonded crescent,
         Distinct with its duplicate horn.

     And I said—“She is warmer than Dian:
         She rolls through an ether of sighs—
         She revels in a region of sighs.
     She has seen that the tears are not dry on
         These cheeks, where the worm never dies,
     And has come past the stars of the Lion,
         To point us the path to the skies—
         To the Lethean peace of the skies—
     Come up, in despite of the Lion,
         To shine on us with her bright eyes—
     Come up, through the lair of the Lion,
         With love in her luminous eyes.”

     But Psyche, uplifting her finger,
         Said—“Sadly this star I mistrust—
         Her pallor I strangely mistrust—
     Ah, hasten!—ah, let us not linger!
         Ah, fly!—let us fly!—for we must.”
      In terror she spoke; letting sink her
         Wings till they trailed in the dust—
     In agony sobbed, letting sink her
         Plumes till they trailed in the dust—
         Till they sorrowfully trailed in the dust.

     I replied—“This is nothing but dreaming.
         Let us on, by this tremulous light!
         Let us bathe in this crystalline light!
     Its Sybillic splendor is beaming
         With Hope and in Beauty to-night—
         See!—it flickers up the sky through the night!
     Ah, we safely may trust to its gleaming,
         And be sure it will lead us aright—
     We safely may trust to a gleaming
         That cannot but guide us aright,
         Since it flickers up to Heaven through the night.”

     Thus I pacified Psyche and kissed her,
         And tempted her out of her gloom—
         And conquered her scruples and gloom;
     And we passed to the end of the vista—
         But were stopped by the door of a tomb—
         By the door of a legended tomb:—
     And I said—“What is written, sweet sister,
         On the door of this legended tomb?”
          She replied—“Ulalume—Ulalume—
         ‘T is the vault of thy lost Ulalume!”

     Then my heart it grew ashen and sober
         As the leaves that were crisped and sere—
         As the leaves that were withering and sere—
     And I cried—“It was surely October
         On this very night of last year,
         That I journeyed—I journeyed down here!—
         That I brought a dread burden down here—
         On this night, of all nights in the year,
         Ah, what demon has tempted me here?
     Well I know, now, this dim lake of Auber—
         This misty mid region of Weir:—
     Well I know, now, this dank tarn of Auber—
         This ghoul-haunted woodland of Weir.”
 
     The skies were gray and serious;  
         The leaves were dry and withered—  
         The leaves were dying and dry;  
     It was night in the lonely October  
         Of my oldest year:  
     It was near the dim lake of Auber,  
         In the misty middle land of Weir:—  
     It was down by the damp pond of Auber,  
         In the creepy woods of Weir.  

     Here once, through a huge alley,  
         Of cypress, I walked with my Soul—  
         Of cypress, with Psyche, my Soul.  
     There were days when my heart was fiery  
         Like the molten rivers that flow—  
         Like the lavas that constantly flow  
     Their sulfurous currents down Yaanek,  
         In the far reaches of the Pole—  
     That groan as they flow down Mount Yaanek  
         In the lands of the Boreal Pole.  

     Our conversation had been serious and sober,  
         But our thoughts were numb and dry—  
         Our memories were deceitful and dry;  
     For we didn’t realize the month was October,  
         And we didn’t notice the night of the year—  
         (Ah, the night of all nights in the year!)  
     We didn’t notice the dim lake of Auber,  
         (Though we once traveled down here)  
     We didn’t remember the damp pond of Auber,  
         Nor the creepy woods of Weir.  

     And now, as the night was fading,  
         And star-dials pointed to morning—  
         As the star-dials hinted at morning—  
     At the end of our path a soft  
         And hazy light appeared,  
     From which a miraculous crescent  
         Rose with a matching horn—  
     Astarte’s diamond-studded crescent,  
         Clear with its matching horn.  

     And I said—“She is warmer than Diana:  
         She moves through a world of sighs—  
         She delights in a place of sighs.  
     She has seen that the tears aren’t dry on  
         These cheeks, where the worm never dies,  
     And has come past the stars of the Lion,  
         To show us the path to the skies—  
         To the peaceful Lethean skies—  
     Come up, despite the Lion,  
         To shine on us with her bright eyes—  
     Come up, through the Lion’s den,  
         With love in her shining eyes.”  

     But Psyche, raising her finger,  
         Said—“Sadly, I don’t trust this star—  
         I instinctively doubt her—  
     Ah, hurry!—oh, let us not linger!  
         Ah, run!—let us run!—for we have to.”  
     In fear she spoke; letting drop her  
         Wings until they dragged in the dust—  
     In pain she sobbed, letting drop her  
         Feathers until they trailed in the dust—  
         Until they sadly trailed in the dust.  

     I replied—“This is nothing but a dream.  
         Let’s go on, by this trembling light!  
         Let’s bask in this sparkling light!  
     Its prophetic brilliance is shining  
         With Hope and Beauty tonight—  
         See!—it flickers up into the sky through the night!  
     Ah, we can surely trust its gleaming,  
         And be confident it will lead us right—  
     We can surely trust a gleaming  
         That can only guide us right,  
         Since it flickers up to Heaven through the night.”  

     Thus I calmed Psyche and kissed her,  
         And coaxed her out of her sadness—  
         And overcame her worries and gloom;  
     And we moved to the end of the path—  
         But were stopped by the door of a tomb—  
         By the entrance of a legendary tomb:—  
     And I asked—“What is written, sweet sister,  
         On the door of this legendary tomb?”  
          She replied—“Ulalume—Ulalume—  
         ‘This is the vault of your lost Ulalume!’”  

     Then my heart grew gray and serious  
         Like the leaves that were dry and withered—  
         Like the leaves that were dying and dry—  
     And I cried—“It was definitely October  
         On this very night last year,  
         That I journeyed—I journeyed down here!—  
         That I brought a dreadful burden down here—  
         On this night, of all nights in the year,  
         Ah, what demon has lured me here?  
     Well I know now, this dim lake of Auber—  
         This misty middle land of Weir:—  
     Well I know now, this damp pond of Auber—  
         This creepy woods of Weir.”  

1847.

1847.

TO HELEN

     I saw thee once—once only—years ago:
     I must not say how many—but not many.
     It was a July midnight; and from out
     A full-orbed moon, that, like thine own soul, soaring,
     Sought a precipitate pathway up through heaven,
     There fell a silvery-silken veil of light,
     With quietude, and sultriness, and slumber,
     Upon the upturned faces of a thousand
     Roses that grew in an enchanted garden,
     Where no wind dared to stir, unless on tiptoe—
     Fell on the upturn’d faces of these roses
     That gave out, in return for the love-light,
     Their odorous souls in an ecstatic death—
     Fell on the upturn’d faces of these roses
     That smiled and died in this parterre, enchanted
     By thee, and by the poetry of thy presence.

     Clad all in white, upon a violet bank
     I saw thee half reclining; while the moon
     Fell on the upturn’d faces of the roses,
     And on thine own, upturn’d—alas, in sorrow!

     Was it not Fate, that, on this July midnight-
     Was it not Fate, (whose name is also Sorrow,)
     That bade me pause before that garden-gate,
     To breathe the incense of those slumbering roses?
     No footstep stirred: the hated world an slept,
     Save only thee and me. (Oh, Heaven!—oh, God!
     How my heart beats in coupling those two words!)
     Save only thee and me. I paused—I looked-
     And in an instant all things disappeared.
     (Ah, bear in mind this garden was enchanted!)

     The pearly lustre of the moon went out:
     The mossy banks and the meandering paths,
     The happy flowers and the repining trees,
     Were seen no more: the very roses’ odors
     Died in the arms of the adoring airs.
     All—all expired save thee—save less than thou:
     Save only the divine light in thine eyes-
     Save but the soul in thine uplifted eyes.
     I saw but them—they were the world to me!
     I saw but them—saw only them for hours,
     Saw only them until the moon went down.
     What wild heart-histories seemed to he enwritten

     Upon those crystalline, celestial spheres!
     How dark a woe, yet how sublime a hope!
     How silently serene a sea of pride!
     How daring an ambition; yet how deep-
     How fathomless a capacity for love!

     But now, at length, dear Dian sank from sight,
     Into a western couch of thunder-cloud;
     And thou, a ghost, amid the entombing trees
     Didst glide away. Only thine eyes remained;
     They would not go—they never yet have gone;
     Lighting my lonely pathway home that night,
     They have not left me (as my hopes have) since;
     They follow me—they lead me through the years.
     They are my ministers—yet I their slave.
     Their office is to illumine and enkindle—
     My duty, to be saved by their bright light,
     And purified in their electric fire,
     And sanctified in their elysian fire.
     They fill my soul with Beauty (which is Hope),
     And are far up in Heaven—the stars I kneel to
     In the sad, silent watches of my night;
     While even in the meridian glare of day
     I see them still—two sweetly scintillant
     Venuses, unextinguished by the sun!
     I saw you once—just once—years ago:
     I won’t say how many—but not many.
     It was a July midnight; and from out
     A full moon, that, like your own soul, soaring,
     Sought a rapid path up through the sky,
     There fell a silvery veil of light,
     With calm, warmth, and slumber,
     Upon the upturned faces of a thousand
     Roses that grew in an enchanted garden,
     Where no wind dared to stir, unless on tiptoe—
     Fell on the upturned faces of these roses
     That gave back, in response to the love-light,
     Their fragrant souls in an ecstatic death—
     Fell on the upturned faces of these roses
     That smiled and died in this garden, enchanted
     By you, and by the poetry of your presence.

     Dressed all in white, on a violet bank
     I saw you half reclined; while the moon
     Fell on the upturned faces of the roses,
     And on yours, upturned—alas, in sorrow!

     Was it not Fate, that, on this July midnight—
     Was it not Fate, (whose name is also Sorrow,)
     That made me stop before that garden gate,
     To breathe the fragrance of those sleeping roses?
     No footsteps stirred: the hated world was asleep,
     Except for you and me. (Oh, Heaven!—oh, God!
     How my heart races when I think of those two words!)
     Except for you and me. I paused—I looked—
     And in an instant everything disappeared.
     (Ah, remember this garden was enchanted!)

     The pearly glow of the moon went out:
     The mossy banks and the winding paths,
     The happy flowers and the mourning trees,
     Were no longer seen: the very scents of the roses
     Died in the embrace of the adoring air.
     All—everything expired except you—except less than you:
     Only the divine light in your eyes—
     Only the soul in your uplifted eyes.
     I saw just them—they were the world to me!
     I saw only them—saw only them for hours,
     Saw only them until the moon set.
     What wild heart stories seemed to be written

     Upon those crystalline, celestial spheres!
     How dark a sorrow, yet how sublime a hope!
     How silently serene a sea of pride!
     How daring an ambition; yet how deep—
     How fathomless a capacity for love!

     But now, at last, dear Dian sank from view,
     Into a western couch of thunderclouds;
     And you, a ghost, among the entombing trees
     Slipped away. Only your eyes remained;
     They wouldn’t leave—they have never left;
     Lighting my lonely path home that night,
     They haven’t abandoned me (as my hopes have) since;
     They follow me—they lead me through the years.
     They are my guides—yet I am their slave.
     Their role is to illuminate and inspire—
     My duty, to be saved by their bright light,
     And purified in their electric fire,
     And sanctified in their heavenly fire.
     They fill my soul with Beauty (which is Hope),
     And are far up in Heaven—the stars I kneel to
     In the sad, silent watches of my night;
     While even in the bright glare of day
     I still see them—two sweetly sparkling
     Venuses, undimmed by the sun!

ANNABEL LEE.

     It was many and many a year ago,
         In a kingdom by the sea,
     That a maiden lived whom you may know
         By the name of ANNABEL LEE;—
     And this maiden she lived with no other thought
         Than to love and be loved by me.

     I was a child and She was a child,
         In this kingdom by the sea,
     But we loved with a love that was more than love—
         I and my ANNABEL LEE—
     With a love that the wingéd seraphs of Heaven
         Coveted her and me.

     And this was the reason that, long ago,
         In this kingdom by the sea,
     A wind blew out of a cloud by night
         Chilling my ANNABEL LEE;
     So that her high-born kinsmen came
         And bore her away from me,
     To shut her up, in a sepulchre
         In this kingdom by the sea.

     The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,
         Went envying her and me;
     Yes! that was the reason (as all men know,
         In this kingdom by the sea)
     That the wind came out of the cloud, chilling
         And killing my ANNABEL LEE.

     But our love it was stronger by far than the love
         Of those who were older than we—
         Of many far wiser than we—
     And neither the angels in Heaven above
         Nor the demons down under the sea
     Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
         Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE:—

     For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
         Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
     And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes
         Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
     And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
     Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride
         In her sepulchre there by the sea—
         In her tomb by the side of the sea.
     It was many years ago,  
         In a kingdom by the sea,  
     That a girl lived whom you might know  
         By the name of ANNABEL LEE;—  
     And this girl she lived with no other thought  
         Than to love and be loved by me.  

     I was a child and She was a child,  
         In this kingdom by the sea,  
     But we loved with a love that was more than love—  
         I and my ANNABEL LEE—  
     With a love that the wingéd seraphs of Heaven  
         Coveted her and me.  

     And this was the reason that, long ago,  
         In this kingdom by the sea,  
     A wind blew out of a cloud at night  
         Chilling my ANNABEL LEE;  
     So her high-born relatives came  
         And took her away from me,  
     To shut her up in a tomb  
         In this kingdom by the sea.  

     The angels, not half as happy in Heaven,  
         Went envying her and me;  
     Yes! that was the reason (as everyone knows,  
         In this kingdom by the sea)  
     That the wind came out of the cloud, chilling  
         And killing my ANNABEL LEE.  

     But our love was stronger by far than the love  
         Of those who were older than we—  
         Of many much wiser than we—  
     And neither the angels in Heaven above  
         Nor the demons down under the sea  
     Can ever separate my soul from the soul  
         Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE:—  

     For the moon never shines without bringing me dreams  
         Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;  
     And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes  
         Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;  
     And so, all through the night, I lie down by the side  
     Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride  
         In her tomb there by the sea—  
         In her tomb by the side of the sea.

1849.

1849.

A VALENTINE.

     For her this rhyme is penned, whose luminous eyes,
         Brightly expressive as the twins of Loeda,
     Shall find her own sweet name, that, nestling lies
         Upon the page, enwrapped from every reader.
     Search narrowly the lines!—they hold a treasure
         Divine—a talisman—an amulet
     That must be worn at heart. Search well the measure—
         The words—the syllables! Do not forget
     The trivialest point, or you may lose your labor!
         And yet there is in this no Gordian knot

     Which one might not undo without a sabre,
         If one could merely comprehend the plot.
     Enwritten upon the leaf where now are peering
         Eyes scintillating soul, there lie perdus
     Three eloquent words oft uttered in the hearing
         Of poets, by poets—as the name is a poet’s, too.
     Its letters, although naturally lying
         Like the knight Pinto—Mendez Ferdinando—
     Still form a synonym for Truth—Cease trying!
         You will not read the riddle, though you do the best you can do.
     This rhyme is written for her, whose bright eyes,
         As expressive as the twins of Loeda,
     Will find her sweet name, snugly resting
         On the page, wrapped from every reader.
     Look closely at the lines!—they hold a treasure
         Divine—a talisman—an amulet
     That must be worn at heart. Pay attention to the measure—
         The words—the syllables! Don’t overlook
     The smallest detail, or you might lose your effort!
         And yet there’s no complicated puzzle here

     That can’t be solved without a sword,
         If one can just understand the story.
     Written on the page where now shine
         Eyes sparkling with spirit, there lie perdus
     Three eloquent words often spoken in the presence
         Of poets, by poets—and the name belongs to a poet too.
     Its letters, though they may naturally appear
         Like the knight Pinto—Mendez Ferdinando—
     Still create a synonym for Truth—Stop trying!
         You won’t read the riddle, no matter how hard you try.

1846.

1846.

[To discover the names in this and the following poem read the first letter of the first line in connection with the second letter of the second line, the third letter of the third line, the fourth of the fourth and so on to the end.]

[To find the names in this poem and the next, take the first letter of the first line and pair it with the second letter of the second line, the third letter of the third line, the fourth letter of the fourth line, and so on until the end.]

AN ENIGMA

     “Seldom we find,” says Solomon Don Dunce,
         “Half an idea in the profoundest sonnet.
     Through all the flimsy things we see at once
         As easily as through a Naples bonnet—
         Trash of all trash!—how can a lady don it?
     Yet heavier far than your Petrarchan stuff-
     Owl-downy nonsense that the faintest puff
         Twirls into trunk-paper the while you con it.”
      And, veritably, Sol is right enough.
     The general tuckermanities are arrant
     Bubbles—ephemeral and so transparent—
         But this is, now,—you may depend upon it—
     Stable, opaque, immortal—all by dint
     Of the dear names that lie concealed within ‘t.
     “Seldom do we find,” says Solomon Don Dunce,  
         “Half an idea in the most profound sonnet.  
     Through all the flimsy things we see at once  
         As easily as through a Naples bonnet—  
         Trash of all trash!—how can a lady wear it?  
     Yet much heavier than your Petrarchan stuff—  
     Owl-downy nonsense that the lightest breath  
         Twirls into wrapping paper while you read it.”  
      And truly, Sol is right enough.  
     The general pretensions are complete  
     Bubbles—ephemeral and so transparent—  
         But this is, now,—you can count on it—  
     Solid, opaque, immortal—all because  
     Of the dear names that lie hidden within it.  

1847. TO MY MOTHER

1847. TO MY MOM

     Because I feel that, in the Heavens above,
         The angels, whispering to one another,
     Can find, among their burning terms of love,
         None so devotional as that of “Mother,”
      Therefore by that dear name I long have called you—
         You who are more than mother unto me,
     And fill my heart of hearts, where Death installed you
         In setting my Virginia’s spirit free.
     My mother—my own mother, who died early,
         Was but the mother of myself; but you
     Are mother to the one I loved so dearly,
         And thus are dearer than the mother I knew
     By that infinity with which my wife
         Was dearer to my soul than its soul-life.
     Because I believe that in the heavens above,  
         The angels, whispering to each other,  
     Can find, among their passionate expressions of love,  
         None as devoted as the word “Mother,”  
      That’s why I have long called you by that cherished name—  
         You who are more than a mother to me,  
     And fill my heart of hearts, where Death placed you  
         In setting my Virginia’s spirit free.  
     My mother—my own mother, who passed away young,  
         Was just the mother of myself; but you  
     Are the mother of the one I loved so deeply,  
         And so you are dearer to me than the mother I knew  
     By that infinite way in which my wife  
         Meant more to my soul than its very life.  

1849.

1849.

[The above was addressed to the poet’s mother-in-law, Mrs. Clemm—Ed.]

[The above was addressed to the poet’s mother-in-law, Mrs. Clemm—Ed.]

FOR ANNIE

     Thank Heaven! the crisis—
         The danger is past,
     And the lingering illness
         Is over at last—
     And the fever called “Living”
          Is conquered at last.

     Sadly, I know
         I am shorn of my strength,
     And no muscle I move
         As I lie at full length—
     But no matter!—I feel
         I am better at length.

     And I rest so composedly,
         Now, in my bed,
     That any beholder
         Might fancy me dead—
     Might start at beholding me,
         Thinking me dead.

     The moaning and groaning,
         The sighing and sobbing,
     Are quieted now,
         With that horrible throbbing
     At heart:—ah, that horrible,
         Horrible throbbing!

     The sickness—the nausea—
         The pitiless pain—
     Have ceased, with the fever
         That maddened my brain—
     With the fever called “Living”
          That burned in my brain.

     And oh! of all tortures
         That torture the worst
     Has abated—the terrible
         Torture of thirst
     For the naphthaline river
         Of Passion accurst:—
     I have drank of a water
         That quenches all thirst:—

     Of a water that flows,
         With a lullaby sound,
     From a spring but a very few
         Feet under ground—
     From a cavern not very far
         Down under ground.

     And ah! let it never
         Be foolishly said
     That my room it is gloomy
         And narrow my bed;
     For man never slept
         In a different bed—
     And, to sleep, you must slumber
         In just such a bed.

     My tantalized spirit
         Here blandly reposes,
     Forgetting, or never
         Regretting its roses—
     Its old agitations
         Of myrtles and roses:

     For now, while so quietly
         Lying, it fancies
     A holier odor
         About it, of pansies—
     A rosemary odor,
         Commingled with pansies—
     With rue and the beautiful
         Puritan pansies.

     And so it lies happily,
         Bathing in many
     A dream of the truth
         And the beauty of Annie—
     Drowned in a bath
         Of the tresses of Annie.

     She tenderly kissed me,
         She fondly caressed,
     And then I fell gently
         To sleep on her breast—
     Deeply to sleep
         From the heaven of her breast.

     When the light was extinguished,
         She covered me warm,
     And she prayed to the angels
         To keep me from harm—
     To the queen of the angels
         To shield me from harm.

     And I lie so composedly,
         Now in my bed,
     (Knowing her love)
         That you fancy me dead—
     And I rest so contentedly,
         Now in my bed,
     (With her love at my breast)
         That you fancy me dead—
     That you shudder to look at me,
         Thinking me dead:—

     But my heart it is brighter
         Than all of the many
     Stars in the sky,
         For it sparkles with Annie—
     It glows with the light
         Of the love of my Annie—
     With the thought of the light
         Of the eyes of my Annie.
     Thank goodness! The crisis—  
         The danger is over,  
     And the lingering illness  
         Has finally ended—  
     And the fever called “Living”  
          Is defeated at last.  

     Sadly, I know  
         I’m stripped of my strength,  
     And I don’t move a muscle  
         As I lie flat—  
     But it doesn’t matter!—I feel  
         That I'm getting better at last.  

     And I rest so peacefully,  
         Now, in my bed,  
     That anyone looking in  
         Might think I’m dead—  
     They might gasp at seeing me,  
         Thinking I’m dead.  

     The moaning and groaning,  
         The sighing and sobbing,  
     Have quieted down now,  
         With that horrible throbbing  
     At my heart:—ah, that awful,  
         Awful throbbing!  

     The sickness—the nausea—  
         The relentless pain—  
     Have ceased, along with the fever  
         That drove me insane—  
     With the fever called “Living”  
          That burned in my brain.  

     And oh! of all tortures  
         That is the worst  
     That has faded—the terrible  
         Torture of thirst  
     For the naphthalene river  
         Of cursed passion:—  
     I have drunk from a water  
         That quenches all thirst:—  

     From a water that flows,  
         With a soothing sound,  
     From a spring just a few  
         Feet underground—  
     From a cavern not far  
         Down below ground.  

     And ah! let it never  
         Be foolishly claimed  
     That my room is gloomy  
         And my bed is too cramped;  
     For no man ever slept  
         In a better bed—  
     And to sleep, you must rest  
         In just such a bed.  

     My tantalized spirit  
         Here rests peacefully,  
     Forgetting, or never  
         Regretting its roses—  
     Its old anxieties  
         Of myrtles and roses:  

     For now, while lying  
         So quietly, it dreams  
     Of a holier fragrance  
         Around it, of pansies—  
     A rosemary scent,  
         Mixed with pansies—  
     With rue and the lovely  
         Puritan pansies.  

     And so it lies happily,  
         Bathing in many  
     A dream of the truth  
         And the beauty of Annie—  
     Drowned in a sea  
         Of the tresses of Annie.  

     She kissed me gently,  
         She held me with care,  
     And then I softly  
         Fell asleep on her breast—  
     Deeply asleep  
         In the heaven of her breast.  

     When the light was turned off,  
         She tucked me in warm,  
     And she prayed to the angels  
         To keep me from harm—  
     To the queen of the angels  
         To protect me from harm.  

     And I lie so peacefully,  
         Now in my bed,  
     (Knowing her love)  
         That you think I’m dead—  
     And I rest so contentedly,  
         Now in my bed,  
     (With her love at my heart)  
         That you think I’m dead—  
     That you recoil at the sight of me,  
         Thinking I’m dead:—  

     But my heart is brighter  
         Than all of the countless  
     Stars in the sky,  
         For it sparkles with Annie—  
     It glows with the light  
         Of my Annie’s love—  
     With the thought of the light  
         Of the eyes of my Annie.

1849.

1849.

TO F——.

     Beloved! amid the earnest woes
         That crowd around my earthly path—
     (Drear path, alas! where grows
     Not even one lonely rose)—
         My soul at least a solace hath
     In dreams of thee, and therein knows
     An Eden of bland repose.

     And thus thy memory is to me
         Like some enchanted far-off isle
     In some tumultuos sea—
     Some ocean throbbing far and free
         With storms—but where meanwhile
     Serenest skies continually
         Just o’re that one bright island smile.
     Beloved! amidst the heartfelt struggles  
         That surround my life on Earth—  
     (Oh, what a gloomy journey, where not  
     Even a single lonely rose blooms)—  
         My soul at least finds comfort  
     In dreams of you, and in them discovers  
     A paradise of gentle peace.  

     And so your memory is to me  
         Like an enchanted distant island  
     In a chaotic sea—  
     An ocean pulsing wildly and freely  
         With storms—but where, in the meantime,  
     The calmest skies continuously  
         Smile just over that one bright island.  

1845.

1845.

TO FRANCES S. OSGOOD

     Thou wouldst be loved?—then let thy heart
         From its present pathway part not!
     Being everything which now thou art,
         Be nothing which thou art not.
     So with the world thy gentle ways,
         Thy grace, thy more than beauty,
     Shall be an endless theme of praise,
         And love—a simple duty.
     You want to be loved?—then don’t stray from your current path! 
     Be everything you are right now, 
     and be nothing that you aren’t. 
     With the world, your kind nature, 
     your grace, and your incredible beauty 
     will be an endless source of admiration, 
     and love—a simple responsibility.

1845.

1845.

ELDORADO.

         Gaily bedight,
         A gallant knight,
     In sunshine and in shadow,
         Had journeyed long,
         Singing a song,
     In search of Eldorado.

         But he grew old—
         This knight so bold—
     And o’er his heart a shadow
         Fell, as he found
         No spot of ground
     That looked like Eldorado.

         And, as his strength
         Failed him at length,
     He met a pilgrim shadow—
         ‘Shadow,’ said he,
         ‘Where can it be—
     This land of Eldorado?’

         ‘Over the Mountains
         Of the Moon,
     Down the Valley of the Shadow,
         Ride, boldly ride,’
         The shade replied,—
     ‘If you seek for Eldorado!’
         Brightly adorned,  
         A brave knight,  
     In sunshine and in shadow,  
         Had traveled far,  
         Singing a song,  
     In search of Eldorado.  

         But he grew old—  
         This knight so brave—  
     And over his heart, a shadow  
         Fell, as he found  
         No place on the ground  
     That resembled Eldorado.  

         And, as his strength  
         Failed him at last,  
     He met a shadowy figure—  
         ‘Shadow,’ said he,  
         ‘Where can it be—  
     This land of Eldorado?’  

         ‘Over the Mountains  
         Of the Moon,  
     Down the Valley of the Shadow,  
         Ride, boldly ride,’  
         The shade replied—  
     ‘If you seek for Eldorado!’  

1849.

1849.

                     EULALIE

                          I  DWELT alone
                         In a world of moan,
             And my soul was a stagnant tide,
     Till the fair and gentle Eulalie became my blushing bride—
     Till the yellow-haired young Eulalie became my smiling bride.

                         Ah, less—less bright
                         The stars of the night
                 Than the eyes of the radiant girl!
                         And never a flake
                         That the vapour can make
                 With the moon-tints of purple and pearl,
     Can vie with the modest Eulalie’s most unregarded curl—
     Can compare with the bright-eyed Eulalie’s most humble and careless curl.

                    Now Doubt—now Pain
                    Come never again,
            For her soul gives me sigh for sigh,
                    And all day long
                    Shines, bright and strong,
            Astarté within the sky,
     While ever to her dear Eulalie upturns her matron eye—
     While ever to her young Eulalie upturns her violet eye.
                     EULALIE

                          I LIVED alone
                         In a world of sadness,
             And my soul was like a stagnant tide,
     Until the beautiful and gentle Eulalie became my blushing bride—
     Until the blonde young Eulalie became my smiling bride.

                         Ah, less—less bright
                         The stars in the night
                 Than the eyes of the radiant girl!
                         And never a flake
                         That the mist can make
                 With the moon's shades of purple and pearl,
     Can compete with the modest Eulalie’s most overlooked curl—
     Can compare with the bright-eyed Eulalie’s most humble and careless curl.

                    Now Doubt—now Pain
                    Come never again,
            For her soul matches my sigh for sigh,
                    And all day long
                    Shines, bright and strong,
            Astarté in the sky,
     While always to her dear Eulalie upturns her matron eye—
     While always to her young Eulalie upturns her violet eye.

1845.

1845.

      A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM

     Take this kiss upon the brow!
     And, in parting from you now,
     Thus much let me avow—
     You are not wrong, who deem
     That my days have been a dream;
     Yet if hope has flown away
     In a night, or in a day,
     In a vision, or in none,
     Is it therefore the less gone?
     All that we see or seem
     Is but a dream within a dream.

     I stand amid the roar
     Of a surf-tormented shore,
     And I hold within my hand
     Grains of the golden sand—
     How few! yet how they creep
     Through my fingers to the deep,
     While I weep—while I weep!
     O God! can I not grasp
     Them with a tighter clasp?
     O God! can I not save
     One from the pitiless wave?
     Is all that we see or seem
     But a dream within a dream?.
      A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM

     Take this kiss on the forehead!
     And, as I say goodbye to you now,
     Let me admit this much—
     You’re not wrong to think
     That my days have been a dream;
     Yet if hope has vanished
     In a night, or in a day,
     In a vision, or in none,
     Is it any less gone?
     Everything that we see or seem
     Is just a dream within a dream.

     I stand amid the roar
     Of a surf-tormented shore,
     And I hold in my hand
     Grains of golden sand—
     How few! yet how they slip
     Through my fingers to the deep,
     While I weep—while I weep!
     O God! can I not hold
     Them with a tighter grip?
     O God! can I not save
     One from the relentless wave?
     Is everything that we see or seem
     Just a dream within a dream?

1849

1849

TO MARIE LOUISE (SHEW)

     Of all who hail thy presence as the morning—
     Of all to whom thine absence is the night—
     The blotting utterly from out high heaven
     The sacred sun—of all who, weeping, bless thee
     Hourly for hope—for life—ah! above all,
     For the resurrection of deep-buried faith
     In Truth—in Virtue—in Humanity—
     Of all who, on Despair’s unhallowed bed
     Lying down to die, have suddenly arisen
     At thy soft-murmured words, “Let there be light!”
      At the soft-murmured words that were fulfilled
     In the seraphic glancing of thine eyes—
     Of all who owe thee most—whose gratitude
     Nearest resembles worship—oh, remember
     The truest—the most fervently devoted,
     And think that these weak lines are written by him—
     By him who, as he pens them, thrills to think
     His spirit is communing with an angel’s.
     Of everyone who greets your presence like the morning—  
     Of everyone for whom your absence is like night—  
     Completely blotting out from the high heavens  
     The sacred sun—of all who, crying, bless you  
     Hourly for hope—for life—ah! above all,  
     For the resurrection of deeply buried faith  
     In Truth—in Virtue—in Humanity—  
     Of all who, lying on Despair’s unholy bed  
     Ready to die, have suddenly risen  
     At your softly spoken words, “Let there be light!”  
     At the softly spoken words that came true  
     In the angelic spark of your eyes—  
     Of all who owe you the most—whose gratitude  
     Closely resembles worship—oh, remember  
     The truest—the most passionately devoted,  
     And know that these humble lines are written by him—  
     By him who, as he writes them, thrills at the thought  
     His spirit is connecting with an angel’s.

1847.

1847.

TO MARIE LOUISE (SHEW)

     Not long ago, the writer of these lines,
     In the mad pride of intellectuality,
     Maintained “the power of words”—denied that ever
     A thought arose within the human brain
     Beyond the utterance of the human tongue:
     And now, as if in mockery of that boast,
     Two words-two foreign soft dissyllables—
     Italian tones, made only to be murmured
     By angels dreaming in the moonlit “dew
     That hangs like chains of pearl on Hermon hill,”—
     Have stirred from out the abysses of his heart,
     Unthought-like thoughts that are the souls of thought,
     Richer, far wider, far diviner visions
     Than even the seraph harper, Israfel,
     (Who has “the sweetest voice of all God’s creatures”)
     Could hope to utter. And I! my spells are broken.
     The pen falls powerless from my shivering hand.
     With thy dear name as text, though bidden by thee,
     I can not write-I can not speak or think—
     Alas, I can not feel; for ’tis not feeling,
     This standing motionless upon the golden
     Threshold of the wide-open gate of dreams,
     Gazing, entranced, adown the gorgeous vista,
     And thrilling as I see, upon the right,
     Upon the left, and all the way along,
     Amid empurpled vapors, far away
     To where the prospect terminates-thee only!
     Not long ago, the writer of these lines,  
     In the crazy pride of intellectualism,  
     Claimed “the power of words”—denied that ever  
     A thought rose within the human mind  
     Beyond what the human tongue could express:  
     And now, as if to mock that claim,  
     Two words—two soft foreign syllables—  
     Italian sounds, meant only to be whispered  
     By angels dreaming in the moonlit “dew  
     That hangs like chains of pearl on Hermon hill,”—  
     Have stirred from the depths of his heart,  
     Unthought thoughts that are the essence of thought,  
     Richer, broader, far more divine visions  
     Than even the seraph harper, Israfel,  
     (Who has “the sweetest voice of all God’s creatures”)  
     Could ever hope to express. And I! my magic is gone.  
     The pen falls powerless from my trembling hand.  
     With your dear name as my inspiration, though called by you,  
     I cannot write—I cannot speak or think—  
     Alas, I cannot feel; for it’s not feeling,  
     This standing still on the golden  
     Threshold of the wide-open gate of dreams,  
     Gazing, entranced, down the beautiful vista,  
     And shivering as I see, on the right,  
     On the left, and all along,  
     Amid purple mists, far away  
     To where the view ends—you only!

1848.

1848.

THE CITY IN THE SEA.

     Lo! Death has reared himself a throne
     In a strange city lying alone
     Far down within the dim West,
     Wherethe good and the bad and the worst and the best
     Have gone to their eternal rest.
     There shrines and palaces and towers
     (Time-eaten towers that tremble not!)
     Resemble nothing that is ours.
     Around, by lifting winds forgot,
     Resignedly beneath the sky
     The melancholy waters lie.

     No rays from the holy heaven come down
     On the long night-time of that town;
     But light from out the lurid sea
     Streams up the turrets silently—
     Gleams up the pinnacles far and free—
     Up domes—up spires—up kingly halls—
     Up fanes—up Babylon-like walls—
     Up shadowy long-forgotten bowers
     Of scultured ivy and stone flowers—
     Up many and many a marvellous shrine
     Whose wreathed friezes intertwine
     The viol, the violet, and the vine.

     Resignedly beneath the sky
     The melancholy waters lie.
     So blend the turrets and shadows there
     That all seem pendulous in air,
     While from a proud tower in the town
     Death looks gigantically down.

     There open fanes and gaping graves
     Yawn level with the luminous waves;
     But not the riches there that lie
     In each idol’s diamond eye—
     Not the gaily-jewelled dead
     Tempt the waters from their bed;
     For no ripples curl, alas!
     Along that wilderness of glass—
     No swellings tell that winds may be
     Upon some far-off happier sea—
     No heavings hint that winds have been
     On seas less hideously serene.

     But lo, a stir is in the air!
     The wave—there is a movement there!
     As if the towers had thrown aside,
     In slightly sinking, the dull tide—
     As if their tops had feebly given
     A void within the filmy Heaven.
     The waves have now a redder glow—
     The hours are breathing faint and low—
     And when, amid no earthly moans,
     Down, down that town shall settle hence,
     Hell, rising from a thousand thrones,
     Shall do it reverence.
     Look! Death has set up a throne
     In a strange city all alone
     Far down in the dim West,
     Where the good, the bad, and everyone
     Have gone to their eternal rest.
     There shrines and palaces and towers
     (Timeworn towers that don’t tremble!)
     Look nothing like what we have.
     Around, forgotten by lifting winds,
     Resigned beneath the sky
     The sorrowful waters lie.

     No rays from the holy sky come down
     On the long night of that town;
     But light from the eerie sea
     Silently streams up the towers—
     Gleams up the peaks far and free—
     Up domes—up spires—up royal halls—
     Up temples—up Babylon-like walls—
     Up shadowy, long-forgotten groves
     Of sculpted ivy and stone flowers—
     Up many marvelous shrines
     Whose ornate friezes intertwine
     The violin, the violet, and the vine.

     Resigned beneath the sky
     The sorrowful waters lie.
     The towers and shadows blend there
     So that all seem to hang in air,
     While from a proud tower in the town
     Death looks down, massive and daunting.

     There open temples and gaping graves
     Yawn level with the glowing waves;
     But not the riches that lie
     In each idol’s diamond eye—
     Not the brightly jeweled dead
     Tempt the waters from their bed;
     For no ripples curl, alas!
     Across that wilderness of glass—
     No swells indicate that winds may be
     On some far-off happier sea—
     No movements hint that winds have been
     On seas less eerily calm.

     But look, there’s a stir in the air!
     The wave—there’s a movement there!
     As if the towers have cast aside,
     Slightly sinking into the dull tide—
     As if their tops have weakly created
     A void in the hazy Heaven.
     The waves now have a redder glow—
     The hours breathe faint and low—
     And when, amid no earthly moans,
     Down, down that town shall settle away,
     Hell, rising from a thousand thrones,
     Shall do it reverence.

1845.

1845.

THE SLEEPER.

     At midnight in the month of June,
     I stand beneath the mystic moon.
     An opiate vapour, dewy, dim,
     Exhales from out her golden rim,
     And, softly dripping, drop by drop,
     Upon the quiet mountain top.
     Steals drowsily and musically
     Into the univeral valley.
     The rosemary nods upon the grave;
     The lily lolls upon the wave;
     Wrapping the fog about its breast,
     The ruin moulders into rest;
     Looking like Lethe, see! the lake
     A conscious slumber seems to take,
     And would not, for the world, awake.
     All Beauty sleeps!—and lo! where lies
     (Her easement open to the skies)
     Irene, with her Destinies!

     Oh, lady bright! can it be right—
     This window open to the night?
     The wanton airs, from the tree-top,
     Laughingly through the lattice drop—
     The bodiless airs, a wizard rout,
     Flit through thy chamber in and out,
     And wave the curtain canopy
     So fitfully—so fearfully—
     Above the closed and fringed lid
     ‘Neath which thy slumb’ring sould lies hid,
     That o’er the floor and down the wall,
     Like ghosts the shadows rise and fall!
     Oh, lady dear, hast thous no fear?
     Why and what art thou dreaming here?
     Sure thou art come p’er far-off seas,
     A wonder to these garden trees!
     Strange is thy pallor! strange thy dress!
     Strange, above all, thy length of tress,
     And this all solemn silentness!

     The lady sleeps! Oh, may her sleep,
     Which is enduring, so be deep!
     Heaven have her in its sacred keep!
     This chamber changed for one more holy,
     This bed for one more melancholy,
     I pray to God that she may lie
     Forever with unopened eye,
     While the dim sheeted ghosts go by!

     My love, she sleeps! Oh, may her sleep,
     As it is lasting, so be deep!
     Soft may the worms about her creep!
     Far in the forest, dim and old,
     For her may some tall vault unfold—
     Some vault that oft hath flung its black
     And winged pannels fluttering back,
     Triumphant, o’er the crested palls,
     Of her grand family funerals—
     Some sepulchre, remote, alone,
     Against whose portal she hath thrown,
     In childhood, many an idle stone—
     Some tomb fromout whose sounding door
     She ne’er shall force an echo more,
     Thrilling to think, poor child of sin!
     It was the dead who groaned within.
     At midnight in June,
     I stand beneath the mystical moon.
     A dreamy haze, dewy and faint,
     Exhales from her golden edge,
     And, softly dripping, drop by drop,
     Upon the quiet mountaintop.
     It steals drowsily and musically
     Into the universal valley.
     The rosemary nods over the grave;
     The lily rests upon the wave;
     Wrapping the fog around its breast,
     The ruin crumbles into rest;
     Looking like Lethe, see! the lake
     Seems to take a conscious slumber,
     And wouldn’t wake up for the world.
     All Beauty sleeps!—and look! where lies
     (Her easement open to the skies)
     Irene, with her Destinies!

     Oh, bright lady! can it be right—
     This window open to the night?
     The playful breezes, from the treetops,
     Laughingly drift through the lattice—
     The bodiless airs, a wizard group,
     Flit in and out of your room,
     And wave the curtain canopy
     So fitfully—so fearfully—
     Above the closed and fringed lid
     Beneath which your slumbering soul lies hid,
     That over the floor and down the wall,
     Like ghosts the shadows rise and fall!
     Oh, dear lady, do you have no fear?
     Why and what are you dreaming here?
     Surely you’ve come over far-off seas,
     A wonder to these garden trees!
     Strange is your pallor! strange your dress!
     Strange, above all, your long tresses,
     And this entire solemn silence!

     The lady sleeps! Oh, may her sleep,
     Which is everlasting, be so deep!
     May heaven keep her in its sacred care!
     This chamber changed for one more holy,
     This bed for one more melancholy,
     I pray to God that she may lie
     Forever with her eyes unopened,
     While the dim-sheeted ghosts go by!

     My love, she sleeps! Oh, may her sleep,
     As it is lasting, so be deep!
     Soft may the worms creep around her!
     Deep in the dim and ancient forest,
     May a grand vault open for her—
     A vault that often flung its black
     And winged panels fluttering back,
     Triumphant, over the crested palls,
     Of her grand family funerals—
     A sepulchre, remote and alone,
     Against whose entrance she has thrown,
     In childhood, many an idle stone—
     A tomb from whose echoing door
     She shall never force an echo more,
     Thrilling to think, poor child of sin!
     It was the dead who groaned within.

1845.

1845.

 BRIDAL BALLAD.

     THE ring is on my hand,
         And the wreath is on my brow;
     Satins and jewels grand
     Are all at my command,
         And I am happy now.

     And my lord he loves me well;
         But, when first he breathed his vow,
     I felt my bosom swell—
     For the words rang as a knell,
     And the voice seemed his who fell
     In the battle down the dell,
         And who is happy now.

     But he spoke to re-asure me,
         And he kissed my pallid brow,
     While a reverie came o’re me,
     And to the church-yard bore me,
     And I sighed to him before me,
     Thinking him dead D’Elormie,
         “Oh, I am happy now!”

     And thus the words were spoken,
         And this the plighted vow,
     And, though my faith be broken,
     And, though my heart be broken,
     Behold the golden token
         That proves me happy now!

     Would God I could awaken!
         For I dream I know not how,
     And my soul is sorely shaken
     Lest an evil step be taken,—
     Lest the dead who is forsaken
         May not be happy now.
BRIDAL BALLAD.

     The ring is on my hand,
         And the wreath is on my brow;
     Silks and fancy jewels
     Are all at my disposal,
         And I’m happy now.

     And my lord loves me deeply;
         But when he first said his vows,
     I felt my heart swell—
     For the words sounded like a death knell,
     And the voice seemed like his who fell
     In battle down the valley,
         And who is happy now.

     But he spoke to reassure me,
         And he kissed my pale brow,
     While a daydream washed over me,
     And it took me to the graveyard,
     And I sighed to him before me,
     Thinking him dead D’Elormie,
         “Oh, I’m happy now!”

     And so the words were spoken,
         And this was the promised vow,
     And though my faith is shattered,
     And though my heart is broken,
     Look at the golden token
         That proves I’m happy now!

     Would God I could awaken!
         For I dream I don’t understand,
     And my soul is painfully shaken
     In case an evil step is taken—
     In case the one who’s forsaken
         May not be happy now.

1845.

1845.

NOTES

1. “The Raven” was first published on the 29th January, 1845, in the New York “Evening Mirror"-a paper its author was then assistant editor of. It was prefaced by the following words, understood to have been written by N. P. Willis: “We are permitted to copy (in advance of publication) from the second number of the “American Review,” the following remarkable poem by Edgar Poe. In our opinion, it is the most effective single example of ‘fugitive poetry’ ever published in this country, and unsurpassed in English poetry for subtle conception, masterly ingenuity of versification, and consistent sustaining of imaginative lift and ‘pokerishness.’ It is one of those ‘dainties bred in a book’ which we feed on. It will stick to the memory of everybody who reads it.” In the February number of the “American Review” the poem was published as by “Quarles,” and it was introduced by the following note, evidently suggested if not written by Poe himself.

1. “The Raven” was first published on January 29, 1845, in the New York “Evening Mirror”—a paper where its author was then the assistant editor. It was prefaced with the following words, believed to be written by N. P. Willis: “We are allowed to preview (before the official release) from the second issue of the “American Review,” this remarkable poem by Edgar Poe. In our view, it is the most impactful single example of ‘fugitive poetry’ ever published in this country, and unparalleled in English poetry for its subtle ideas, skillful craftsmanship in verse, and consistent imaginative depth and ‘pokerishness.’ It is one of those ‘delights born from a book’ that we savor. It will stick in the memory of everyone who reads it.” In the February issue of the “American Review,” the poem was published under the name “Quarles,” and it was introduced with a note that was clearly suggested, if not written, by Poe himself.

[“The following lines from a correspondent-besides the deep, quaint strain of the sentiment, and the curious introduction of some ludicrous touches amidst the serious and impressive, as was doubtless intended by the author-appears to us one of the most felicitous specimens of unique rhyming which has for some time met our eye. The resources of English rhythm for varieties of melody, measure, and sound, producing corresponding diversities of effect, having been thoroughly studied, much more perceived, by very few poets in the language. While the classic tongues, especially the Greek, possess, by power of accent, several advantages for versification over our own, chiefly through greater abundance of spondaic: feet, we have other and very great advantages of sound by the modern usage of rhyme. Alliteration is nearly the only effect of that kind which the ancients had in common with us. It will be seen that much of the melody of ‘The Raven’ arises from alliteration, and the studious use of similar sounds in unusual places. In regard to its measure, it may be noted that if all the verses were like the second, they might properly be placed merely in short lines, producing a not uncommon form; but the presence in all the others of one line-mostly the second in the verse” (stanza?)—“which flows continuously, with only an aspirate pause in the middle, like that before the short line in the Sapphic Adonic, while the fifth has at the middle pause no similarity of sound with any part besides, gives the versification an entirely different effect. We could wish the capacities of our noble language in prosody were better understood.”—ED. “Am. Rev.”]

[“The following lines from a correspondent—besides the deep, unique sentiment and the amusing touches amidst the serious and impressive, as the author probably intended—seem to us one of the best examples of distinctive rhyming we've seen in a while. The resources of English rhythm for different melodies, measures, and sounds, producing various effects, have been thoroughly studied but are understood by very few poets in the language. While the classical languages, especially Greek, have several advantages for verse through their use of accents, mainly due to a greater abundance of spondaic feet, we have significant advantages in sound through modern rhyme. Alliteration is nearly the only similar effect that the ancients shared with us. It will be noted that a lot of the melody in ‘The Raven’ comes from alliteration and the careful use of similar sounds in unexpected places. Regarding its structure, it’s worth mentioning that if all the lines were like the second, they could simply be placed as short lines, creating a fairly common form; but the presence in all the others of one line—mostly the second in the stanza—which flows continuously with just a breath pause in the middle, like that before the short line in the Sapphic Adonic, while the fifth maintains a different sound with no similarity to any other part, gives the verse a completely different effect. We wish that the capabilities of our beautiful language in prosody were better understood.”—ED. “Am. Rev.”]

2. The bibliographical history of “The Bells” is curious. The subject, and some lines of the original version, having been suggested by the poet’s friend, Mrs. Shew, Poe, when he wrote out the first draft of the poem, headed it, “The Bells, By Mrs. M. A. Shew.” This draft, now the editor’s property, consists of only seventeen lines, and read thus:

2. The history of “The Bells” is interesting. The topic, along with some lines from the original version, was suggested by the poet’s friend, Mrs. Shew. When Poe wrote the first draft of the poem, he titled it “The Bells, By Mrs. M. A. Shew.” This draft, which now belongs to the editor, has only seventeen lines and reads as follows:

                       I.

     The bells!-ah, the bells!
     The little silver bells!
     How fairy-like a melody there floats
     From their throats—
     From their merry little throats—
     From the silver, tinkling throats
     Of the bells, bells, bells—
     Of the bells!

                       II.

     The bells!-ah, the bells!

     The heavy iron bells!
     How horrible a monody there floats
     From their throats—
     From their deep-toned throats—
     From their melancholy throats!
     How I shudder at the notes Of the bells, bells, bells—
     Of the bells!
                       I.

     The bells! - ah, the bells!  
     The little silver bells!  
     What a magical melody floats  
     From their throats—  
     From their cheerful little throats—  
     From the silver, tinkling throats  
     Of the bells, bells, bells—  
     Of the bells!

                       II.

     The bells! - ah, the bells!  

     The heavy iron bells!  
     What a dreadful sound floats  
     From their throats—  
     From their deep, resonant throats—  
     From their mournful throats!  
     How I shudder at the notes  
     Of the bells, bells, bells—  
     Of the bells!

In the autumn of 1848 Poe added another line to this poem, and sent it to the editor of the “Union Magazine.” It was not published. So, in the following February, the poet forwarded to the same periodical a much enlarged and altered transcript. Three months having elapsed without publication, another revision of the poem, similar to the current version, was sent, and in the following October was published in the “Union Magazine.”

In the fall of 1848, Poe added another line to this poem and sent it to the editor of the “Union Magazine.” It didn’t get published. Then, the following February, the poet submitted a much longer and revised version to the same magazine. After three months without any publication, he sent another revision of the poem, similar to the current version, which was published in the “Union Magazine” the following October.

3. This poem was first published in Colton’s “American Review” for December, 1847, as “To—Ulalume: a Ballad.” Being reprinted immediately in the “Home Journal,” it was copied into various publications with the name of the editor, N. P. Willis, appended, and was ascribed to him. When first published, it contained the following additional stanza which Poe subsequently, at the suggestion of Mrs. Whitman, wisely suppressed:

3. This poem was first published in Colton’s “American Review” for December 1847, titled “To—Ulalume: a Ballad.” It was quickly reprinted in the “Home Journal” and then appeared in various publications with the editor N. P. Willis's name attached, leading many to attribute it to him. When it was first published, it included an extra stanza that Poe later, at the suggestion of Mrs. Whitman, wisely decided to remove:

     Said we then—we two, then—“Ah, can it
     Have been that the woodlandish ghouls—
     The pitiful, the merciful ghouls—
     To bar up our path and to ban it
     From the secret that lies in these wolds—
     Had drawn up the spectre of a planet
     From the limbo of lunary souls—
     This sinfully scintillant planet
     From the Hell of the planetary souls?”
 
     We then said—both of us—“Ah, could it be that the forest ghouls—  
     The sorry, the kind ghouls—  
     Blocked our way and banned us  
     From the secret that lies in these woods—  
     Had summoned the ghost of a planet  
     From the limbo of lost souls—  
     This sinfully shining planet  
     From the Hell of the planetary souls?”

4. “To Helen!” (Mrs. S. Helen Whitman) was not published until November, 1848, although written several months earlier. It first appeared in the “Union Magazine,” and with the omission, contrary to the knowledge or desire of Poe, of the line, “Oh, God! oh, Heaven—how my heart beats in coupling those two words.”

4. “To Helen!” (Mrs. S. Helen Whitman) wasn’t published until November 1848, even though it was written several months earlier. It first appeared in the “Union Magazine,” but it was published without the line, “Oh, God! oh, Heaven—how my heart beats in coupling those two words,” which Poe didn’t know would be omitted or wanted to include.

5. “Annabel Lee” was written early in 1849, and is evidently an expression of the poet’s undying love for his deceased bride, although at least one of his lady admirers deemed it a response to her admiration. Poe sent a copy of the ballad to the “Union Magazine,” in which publication it appeared in January, 1850, three months after the author’s death. While suffering from “hope deferred” as to its fate, Poe presented a copy of “Annabel Lee” to the editor of the “Southern Literary Messenger,” who published it in the November number of his periodical, a month after Poe’s death. In the meantime the poet’s own copy, left among his papers, passed into the hands of the person engaged to edit his works, and he quoted the poem in an obituary of Poe, in the New York “Tribune,” before any one else had an opportunity of publishing it.

5. “Annabel Lee” was written in early 1849 and clearly shows the poet’s everlasting love for his late bride, though at least one of his female fans thought it was a reply to her affection. Poe sent a copy of the ballad to the “Union Magazine,” where it was published in January 1850, three months after his death. While waiting anxiously to see what would happen with it, Poe gave a copy of “Annabel Lee” to the editor of the “Southern Literary Messenger,” who published it in the November issue of his magazine, a month after Poe died. In the meantime, the poet’s own copy, found among his papers, ended up with the person tasked with editing his works, and he quoted the poem in an obituary for Poe in the New York “Tribune,” before anyone else could publish it.

6. “A Valentine,” one of three poems addressed to Mrs. Osgood, appears to have been written early in 1846.

6. “A Valentine,” one of three poems directed to Mrs. Osgood, seems to have been written in early 1846.

7. “An Enigma,” addressed to Mrs. Sarah Anna Lewis (“Stella”), was sent to that lady in a letter, in November, 1847, and the following March appeared in Sartain’s “Union Magazine.”

7. “An Enigma,” addressed to Mrs. Sarah Anna Lewis (“Stella”), was sent to her in a letter in November 1847, and the following March, it was published in Sartain’s “Union Magazine.”

8. The sonnet, “To My Mother” (Maria Clemm), was sent for publication to the short-lived “Flag of our Union,” early in 1849,’ but does not appear to have been issued until after its author’s death, when it appeared in the “Leaflets of Memory” for 1850.

8. The sonnet, “To My Mother” (Maria Clemm), was submitted for publication to the short-lived “Flag of our Union” in early 1849, but it seems it wasn't published until after the author's death, when it showed up in the “Leaflets of Memory” in 1850.

9. “For Annie” was first published in the “Flag of our Union,” in the spring of 1849. Poe, annoyed at some misprints in this issue, shortly afterwards caused a corrected copy to be inserted in the “Home Journal.”

9. “For Annie” was first published in the “Flag of our Union” in the spring of 1849. Poe, irritated by some typos in that issue, soon had a corrected version published in the “Home Journal.”

10. “To F——” (Frances Sargeant Osgood) appeared in the “Broadway journal” for April, 1845. These lines are but slightly varied from those inscribed “To Mary,” in the “Southern Literary Messenger” for July, 1835, and subsequently republished, with the two stanzas transposed, in “Graham’s Magazine” for March, 1842, as “To One Departed.”

10. “To F——” (Frances Sargeant Osgood) was published in the “Broadway Journal” in April 1845. These lines are only slightly different from those written “To Mary” in the “Southern Literary Messenger” in July 1835, which were later reprinted, with the two stanzas switched, in “Graham’s Magazine” in March 1842, under the title “To One Departed.”

11. “To F——s S. O—d,” a portion of the poet’s triune tribute to Mrs. Osgood, was published in the “Broadway Journal” for September, 1845. The earliest version of these lines appeared in the “Southern Literary Messenger” for September, 1835, as “Lines written in an Album,” and was addressed to Eliza White, the proprietor’s daughter. Slightly revised, the poem reappeared in Burton’s “Gentleman’s Magazine” for August, 1839, as “To—.”

11. “To F——s S. O—d,” a part of the poet’s three-part tribute to Mrs. Osgood, was published in the “Broadway Journal” in September 1845. The first version of these lines appeared in the “Southern Literary Messenger” in September 1835, titled “Lines written in an Album,” and was addressed to Eliza White, the proprietor’s daughter. With minor revisions, the poem was featured again in Burton’s “Gentleman’s Magazine” in August 1839, under the title “To—.”

12. Although “Eldorado” was published during Poe’s lifetime, in 1849, in the “Flag of our Union,” it does not appear to have ever received the author’s finishing touches.

12. Although “Eldorado” was published during Poe’s lifetime, in 1849, in the “Flag of our Union,” it seems that the author never gave it his final edits.

POEMS OF MANHOOD

LENORE

     Ah broken is the golden bowl! the spirit flown forever!
     Let the bell toll!—a saintly soul floats on the Stygian river;
     And, Guy De Vere, hast thou no tear?—weep now or never more!
     See! on yon drear and rigid bier low lies thy love, Lenore!
     Come! let the burial rite be read—the funeral song be sung!—
     An anthem for the queenliest dead that ever died so young—
     A dirge for her the doubly dead in that she died so young.

     “Wretches! ye loved her for her wealth and hated her for her pride,
     “And when she fell in feeble health, ye blessed her—that she died!
     “How shall the ritual, then, be read?—the requiem how be sung
     “By you—by yours, the evil eye,—by yours, the slanderous tongue
     “That did to death the innocent that died, and died so young?”

      Peccavimus; but rave not thus! and let a Sabbath song
     Go up to God so solemnly the dead may feel so wrong!
     The sweet Lenore hath “gone before,” with Hope, that flew beside
     Leaving thee wild for the dear child that should have been thy bride—
     For her, the fair and debonair, that now so lowly lies,
     The life upon her yellow hair but not within her eyes—
     The life still there, upon her hair—the death upon her eyes.

     “Avaunt! to-night my heart is light. No dirge will I upraise,
     “But waft the angel on her flight with a Paean of old days!
     “Let no bell toll!—lest her sweet soul, amid its hallowed mirth,
     “Should catch the note, as it doth float—up from the damned Earth.
     “To friends above, from fiends below, the indignant ghost is riven—
     “From Hell unto a high estate far up within the Heaven—
     “From grief and groan, to a golden throne, beside the King of Heaven.”
 
     Ah, the golden bowl is shattered! The spirit has flown forever!  
     Let the bell toll!—a saintly soul floats on the Stygian river;  
     And, Guy De Vere, do you have no tears?—weep now or never more!  
     Look! On that dreary and rigid bier lies your love, Lenore!  
     Come! Let the burial rite be read—the funeral song be sung!—  
     An anthem for the most royal dead who ever died so young—  
     A dirge for her who is doubly dead in that she died so young.  

     “Wretches! You loved her for her wealth and hated her for her pride,  
     “And when she fell into feeble health, you praised her—that she died!  
     “How shall the ritual then be read?—how will the requiem be sung  
     “By you—by you with the evil eye—by you with the slanderous tongue  
     “That caused the innocent to die, and die so young?”  

     Peccavimus; but don’t rave like this! Let a Sabbath song  
     Rise up to God so solemnly that the dead may feel so wrong!  
     The sweet Lenore has “gone before,” with Hope, that flew beside  
     Leaving you wild for the dear child who should have been your bride—  
     For her, the fair and debonair, who now lies so low,  
     The life still on her yellow hair but not within her eyes—  
     The life still there, upon her hair—the death upon her eyes.  

     “Enough! Tonight my heart is light. I will not raise a dirge,  
     “But send the angel on her flight with a song from long ago!  
     “Let no bell toll!—lest her sweet soul, amid its joyful mirth,  
     “Should catch the note, as it floats up from this damned Earth.  
     “To friends above, from fiends below, the indignant ghost is torn—  
     “From Hell to a high place far up in Heaven—  
     “From grief and groaning to a golden throne, beside the King of Heaven.”

TO ONE IN PARADISE.

     Thou wast all that to me, love,
         For which my soul did pine—
     A green isle in the sea, love,
         A fountain and a shrine,
     All wreathed with fairy fruits and flowers,
         And all the flowers were mine.

     Ah, dream too bright to last!
         Ah, starry Hope! that didst arise
     But to be overcast!
         A voice from out the Future cries,
     “On! on!”—but o’er the Past
         (Dim gulf!) my spirit hovering lies
     Mute, motionless, aghast!

     For, alas! alas! with me
         The light of Life is o’er!
         No more—no more—no more—
     (Such language holds the solemn sea
         To the sands upon the shore)
     Shall bloom the thunder-blasted tree,
         Or the stricken eagle soar!

     And all my days are trances,
         And all my nightly dreams
     Are where thy dark eye glances,
         And where thy footstep gleams—
     In what ethereal dances,
         By what eternal streams.
     You were everything to me, love,  
         For which my soul longed—  
     A green island in the sea, love,  
         A fountain and a shrine,  
     All adorned with magical fruits and flowers,  
         And all the flowers were mine.  

     Ah, a dream too bright to last!  
         Ah, starry Hope! that rose  
     Just to be overshadowed!  
         A voice from the Future calls,  
     “On! on!”—but over the Past  
         (Dim abyss!) my spirit hovers  
     Silent, motionless, stunned!  

     For, alas! alas! with me  
         The light of Life is gone!  
         No more—no more—no more—  
     (Such words hold the solemn sea  
         To the sands upon the shore)  
     Shall bloom the thunder-struck tree,  
         Or the wounded eagle soar!  

     And all my days are trances,  
         And all my nightly dreams  
     Are where your dark eye glances,  
         And where your footsteps shine—  
     In what ethereal dances,  
         By what eternal streams.

1835.

1835.

THE COLISEUM.

     Type of the antique Rome! Rich reliquary
     Of lofty contemplation left to Time
     By buried centuries of pomp and power!
     At length—at length—after so many days
     Of weary pilgrimage and burning thirst,
     (Thirst for the springs of lore that in thee lie,)
     I kneel, an altered and an humble man,
     Amid thy shadows, and so drink within
     My very soul thy grandeur, gloom, and glory!

     Vastness! and Age! and Memories of Eld!
     Silence! and Desolation! and dim Night!
     I feel ye now—I feel ye in your strength—
     O spells more sure than e’er Judæan king
     Taught in the gardens of Gethsemane!
     O charms more potent than the rapt Chaldee
     Ever drew down from out the quiet stars!

     Here, where a hero fell, a column falls!
     Here, where the mimic eagle glared in gold,
     A midnight vigil holds the swarthy bat!
     Here, where the dames of Rome their gilded hair
     Waved to the wind, now wave the reed and thistle!
     Here, where on golden throne the monarch lolled,
     Glides, spectre-like, unto his marble home,
     Lit by the wanlight—wan light of the horned moon,
     The swift and silent lizard of the stones!

     But stay! these walls—these ivy-clad arcades—
     These mouldering plinths—these sad and blackened shafts—
     These vague entablatures—this crumbling frieze—
     These shattered cornices—this wreck—this ruin—
     These stones—alas! these gray stones—are they all—
     All of the famed, and the colossal left
     By the corrosive Hours to Fate and me?

     “Not all”—the Echoes answer me—“not all!
     “Prophetic sounds and loud, arise forever
     “From us, and from all Ruin, unto the wise,
     “As melody from Memnon to the Sun.
     “We rule the hearts of mightiest men—we rule
     “With a despotic sway all giant minds.
     “We are not impotent—we pallid stones.
     “Not all our power is gone—not all our fame—
     “Not all the magic of our high renown—
     “Not all the wonder that encircles us—
     “Not all the mysteries that in us lie—
     “Not all the memories that hang upon
     “And cling around about us as a garment,
     “Clothing us in a robe of more than glory.”
 
     Oh, how incredible the ancient Rome! A rich treasure
     Of deep thoughts left to Time
     By centuries of buried glory and power!
     Finally—finally—after so many days
     Of tired journeys and burning thirst,
     (Thirst for the wellsprings of knowledge that lie within you,)
     I kneel, a changed and humble man,
     Among your shadows, and drink in
     Your grandeur, gloom, and glory, deep into
     My very soul!

     Vastness! and Age! and Memories of the Past!
     Silence! and Desolation! and dim Night!
     I feel you now—I feel your strength—
     Oh, spells more certain than any Judean king
     Taught in the gardens of Gethsemane!
     Oh, charms more powerful than the inspired Chaldee
     Ever drew down from the quiet stars!

     Here, where a hero fell, a column falls!
     Here, where the golden eagle once glared,
     A midnight vigil is kept by the dark bat!
     Here, where the women of Rome once waved their gilded hair
     In the wind, now the reed and thistle wave!
     Here, where the king lounged on a golden throne,
     Glides, like a ghost, to his marble resting place,
     Lit by the pale light—the pale light of the crescent moon,
     The quick and silent lizard of the stones!

     But wait! these walls—these ivy-covered arches—
     These crumbling bases—these sad, darkened columns—
     These vague entablatures—this decaying frieze—
     These broken cornices—this wreck—this ruin—
     These stones—oh! these gray stones—are they all—
     All that’s left of the famous and colossal
     Due to the ravages of Time?

     “Not all”—the Echoes respond to me—“not all!
     “Prophetic sounds and loud, arise forever
     “From us, and from all Ruin, to the wise,
     “Like melody from Memnon to the Sun.
     “We hold the hearts of the strongest men—we dominate
     “With a tyrannical grip all great minds.
     “We are not powerless—we pale stones.
     “Not all our power is lost—not all our fame—
     “Not all the magic of our great renown—
     “Not all the wonder that surrounds us—
     “Not all the mysteries that dwell within us—
     “Not all the memories that hang upon
     “And cling around us like a garment,
     “Draping us in a robe of more than glory.”

1833.

1833.

THE HAUNTED PALACE.

     In the greenest of our valleys
         By good angels tenanted,
     Once a fair and stately palace—
         Radiant palace—reared its head.
     In the monarch Thought’s dominion—
         It stood there!
     Never seraph spread a pinion
         Over fabric half so fair.

     Banners yellow, glorious, golden,
         On its roof did float and flow,
     (This—all this—was in the olden
         Time long ago,)
     And every gentle air that dallied,
         In that sweet day,
     Along the ramparts plumed and pallid,
         A winged odour went away.

     Wanderers in that happy valley,
         Through two luminous windows, saw
     Spirits moving musically,
         To a lute’s well-tuned law,
     Round about a throne where, sitting
         (Porphyrogene)
     In state his glory well befitting,
         The ruler of the realm was seen.

     And all with pearl and ruby glowing
         Was the fair palace door,
     Through which came flowing, flowing, flowing,
         And sparkling evermore,
     A troop of Echoes, whose sweet duty
         Was but to sing,
     In voices of surpassing beauty,
         The wit and wisdom of their king.

     But evil things, in robes of sorrow,
         Assailed the monarch’s high estate.
     (Ah, let us mourn!—for never sorrow
         Shall dawn upon him desolate!)
     And round about his home the glory
         That blushed and bloomed,
     Is but a dim-remembered story
         Of the old time entombed.

     And travellers, now, within that valley,
         Through the red-litten windows see
     Vast forms, that move fantastically
         To a discordant melody,
     While, lie a ghastly rapid river,
         Through the pale door
     A hideous throng rush out forever
         And laugh—but smile no more.
     In the greenest of our valleys
         Tenanted by good angels,
     Once stood a fair and grand palace—
         A radiant palace—lifting its head high.
     In the realm of Thought—
         It was there!
     Never did a seraph spread its wings
         Over something half so beautiful.

     Glorious golden banners,
         Floated and flowed on its roof,
     (This—all this—was in the olden
         Times long ago,)
     And every gentle breeze that lingered,
         On that sweet day,
     Along the ramparts, adorned and pale,
         Carried a fragrant breeze away.

     Wanderers in that happy valley,
         Through two shining windows, saw
     Spirits dancing musically,
         To the lute’s sweet tune,
     Around a throne where, seated
         (Porphyrogene)
     In glory befitting his majesty,
         The ruler of the realm was visible.

     And the fair palace door glowed
         With pearls and rubies,
     Through which flowed, flowed, flowed,
         Sparkling forevermore,
     A group of Echoes, whose sweet task
         Was just to sing,
     In voices of unmatched beauty,
         The wit and wisdom of their king.

     But wicked things, dressed in sorrow,
         Attacked the ruler’s high state.
     (Ah, let us grieve!—for never will sorrow
         Approach him alone!)
     And all around his home the glory
         That once blushed and bloomed,
     Is just a dimly remembered story
         Of the old times buried.

     And travelers, now, within that valley,
         Through the red-lit windows see
     Huge forms that move bizarrely
         To a discordant tune,
     While, like a ghastly rushing river,
         Through the pale door
     A terrifying crowd rushes out forever
         And laughs—but no longer smiles.

1838.

1838.

THE CONQUEROR WORM.

     Lo! ’tis a gala night
         Within the lonesome latter years!
     An angel throng, bewinged, bedight
         In veils, and drowned in tears,
     Sit in a theatre, to see
         A play of hopes and fears,
     While the orchestra breathes fitfully
         The music of the spheres.

     Mimes, in the form of God on high,
         Mutter and mumble low,
     And hither and thither fly—
         Mere puppets they, who come and go
     At bidding of vast formless things
         That shift the scenery to and fro,
     Flapping from out their Condor wings
        Invisible Woe!

     That motley drama—oh, be sure
         It shall not be forgot!
     With its Phantom chased for evermore,
         By a crowd that seize it not,
     Through a circle that ever returneth in
         To the self-same spot,
     And much of Madness, and more of Sin,
         And Horror the soul of the plot.

     But see, amid the mimic rout
         A crawling shape intrude!
     A blood-red thing that writhes from out
         The scenic solitude!
     It writhes!—it writhes!—with mortal pangs
         The mimes become its food,
     And the angels sob at vermin fangs
         In human gore imbued.

     Out—out are the lights—out all!
         And, over each quivering form,
     The curtain, a funeral pall,
         Comes down with the rush of a storm
     And the angels, all pallid and wan,
         Uprising, unveiling, affirm
     That the play is the tragedy, “Man,”
          And its hero the Conqueror Worm.
     Look! It’s a gala night  
         In the lonely latter years!  
     A crowd of angels, winged and adorned  
         In veils, and soaked in tears,  
     Sit in a theater to watch  
         A play of hopes and fears,  
     While the orchestra plays fitfully  
         The music of the spheres.  

     Mimes, resembling God on high,  
         Mutter and mumble softly,  
     And here and there they fly—  
         Just puppets who come and go  
     At the command of vast, formless things  
         That shift the scenery back and forth,  
     Flapping from their Condor wings  
         Invisible Woe!  

     That motley drama—oh, be sure  
         It won’t be forgotten!  
     With its Phantom chased forevermore,  
         By a crowd that can’t seize it,  
     Through a circle that always returns  
         To the same old spot,  
     And much of Madness, and more of Sin,  
         And Horror at the soul of the plot.  

     But look, among the mimic crowd  
         A creeping shape intrudes!  
     A blood-red thing that writhes out of  
         The scenic solitude!  
     It writhes!—it writhes!—with mortal pain  
         The mimes become its food,  
     And the angels sob at the vermin fangs  
         Soaked in human blood.  

     Out—out go the lights—out, all!  
         And, over every quivering form,  
     The curtain, like a funeral shroud,  
         Falls with the rush of a storm  
     And the angels, all pale and weak,  
         Rising up, unveiling, declare  
     That the play is the tragedy, “Man,”  
         And its hero the Conqueror Worm.

1838.

1838.

SILENCE

     There are some qualities—some incorporate things,
         That have a double life, which thus is made
     A type of that twin entity which springs
         From matter and light, evinced in solid and shade.
     There is a two-fold Silence—sea and shore—
         Body and soul. One dwells in lonely places,
         Newly with grass o’ergrown; some solemn graces,
     Some human memories and tearful lore,
     Render him terrorless: his name’s “No More.”
      He is the corporate Silence: dread him not!
         No power hath he of evil in himself;
     But should some urgent fate (untimely lot!)
         Bring thee to meet his shadow (nameless elf,
     That haunteth the lone regions where hath trod
     No foot of man,) commend thyself to God!
     There are certain qualities—some essential things,
         That have a double life, which creates
     A representation of that dual existence that comes
         From matter and light, shown in solid and shadow.
     There is a two-fold Silence—sea and shore—
         Body and soul. One remains in isolated places,
         Recently overgrown with grass; some solemn graces,
     Some human memories and tearful stories,
     Render him fearless: his name’s “No More.”
      He is the collective Silence: don’t be afraid of him!
         He holds no evil power in himself;
     But if some unavoidable fate (untimely twist!)
         Leads you to encounter his shadow (nameless spirit,
     That haunts the lonely areas where no
     Foot of man has walked,) commend yourself to God!

1840.

1840.

DREAM-LAND

        By a route obscure and lonely,
         Haunted by ill angels only,
         Where an Eidolon, named NIGHT,
         On a black throne reigns upright,
         I have reached these lands but newly
         From an ultimate dim Thule—
         From a wild weird clime that lieth, sublime,
               Out of SPACE—out of TIME.

         Bottomless vales and boundless floods,
         And chasms, and caves, and Titian woods,
         With forms that no man can discover
         For the dews that drip all over;
         Mountains toppling evermore
         Into seas without a shore;
         Seas that restlessly aspire,
         Surging, unto skies of fire;
         Lakes that endlessly outspread
         Their lone waters—lone and dead,—
         Their still waters—still and chilly
         With the snows of the lolling lily.

         By the lakes that thus outspread
         Their lone waters, lone and dead,—
         Their sad waters, sad and chilly
         With the snows of the lolling lily,—
         By the mountains—near the river
         Murmuring lowly, murmuring ever,—
         By the grey woods,—by the swamp
         Where the toad and the newt encamp,—
         By the dismal tarns and pools
                 Where dwell the Ghouls,—
         By each spot the most unholy—
         In each nook most melancholy,—
         There the traveller meets aghast
         Sheeted Memories of the Past—
         Shrouded forms that start and sigh
         As they pass the wanderer by—
         White-robed forms of friends long given,
         In agony, to the Earth—and Heaven.

         For the heart whose woes are legion
         ’Tis a peaceful, soothing region—
         For the spirit that walks in shadow
         ’Tis—oh ’tis an Eldorado!
         But the traveller, travelling through it,
         May not—dare not openly view it;
         Never its mysteries are exposed
         To the weak human eye unclosed;
         So wills its King, who hath forbid
         The uplifting of the fringed lid;
         And thus the sad Soul that here passes
         Beholds it but through darkened glasses.

         By a route obscure and lonely,
         Haunted by ill angels only,
         Where an Eidolon, named NIGHT,
         On a black throne reigns upright,
         I have wandered home but newly
         From this ultimate dim Thule.
        By a lonely and obscure path,  
         Haunted only by evil spirits,  
         Where a phantom, called NIGHT,  
         Sits straight on a black throne,  
         I've just arrived in these lands  
         From a distant, shadowy place—  
         From a wild, strange climate that lies, elevated,  
               Out of SPACE—out of TIME.  

         Bottomless valleys and endless floods,  
         Chasms, caves, and lush woods,  
         With shapes that no one can discover  
         Because of the dripping dews;  
         Mountains constantly collapsing  
         Into seas without shores;  
         Seas that restlessly reach out,  
         Surging, toward fiery skies;  
         Lakes that endlessly stretch  
         Their lonely waters—lonely and dead—  
         Their still waters—still and chilly  
         With the snows of the drooping lily.  

         By the lakes that spread out  
         Their lonely, dead waters—  
         Their sad waters, chillingly  
         With the snows of the drooping lily—  
         By the mountains—near the river  
         Murmuring softly, murmuring forever—  
         By the gray woods—by the swamp  
         Where toads and newts set up camp—  
         By the gloomy tarns and pools  
                 Where ghouls dwell—  
         By each spot the most unholy—  
         In every nook most sorrowful—  
         There the traveler meets in shock  
         Covered Memories of the Past—  
         Shrouded figures that start and sigh  
         As they pass the wanderer by—  
         White-robed figures of friends long lost,  
         In pain, to the Earth—and Heaven.  

         For the heart burdened with troubles,  
         It’s a peaceful, comforting place—  
         For the spirit wandering in shadow,  
         It’s—oh, it’s a paradise!  
         But the traveler, moving through it,  
         May not—dare not—look at it openly;  
         Its mysteries are never revealed  
         To the feeble human eye still closed;  
         So commands its King, who has forbidden  
         The raising of the fringed veil;  
         And thus the sad Soul that passes here  
         Sees it only through darkened glasses.  

         By a lonely and obscure path,  
         Haunted only by evil spirits,  
         Where a phantom, called NIGHT,  
         Sits straight on a black throne,  
         I've just wandered home from  
         This distant, shadowy place.

1844.

1844.

HYMN

     At morn—at noon—at twilight dim—
     Maria! thou hast heard my hymn!
     In joy and wo—in good and ill—
     Mother of God, be with me still!
     When the Hours flew brightly by
     And not a cloud obscured the sky,
     My soul, lest it should truant be,
     Thy grace did guide to thine and thee;
     Now, when storms of Fate o’ercast
     Darkly my Present and my Past,
     Let my Future radiant shine
     With sweet hopes of thee and thine!
     In the morning—at noon—at dusk—  
     Maria! you’ve heard my song!  
     In joy and sorrow—in good and bad—  
     Mother of God, please stay with me!  
     When the hours passed by so bright  
     And not a single cloud blocked the light,  
     My soul, so it wouldn’t wander far,  
     Your grace led me to you and your star;  
     Now, when the storms of Fate obscure  
     My present and my past for sure,  
     Let my future shine so bright  
     With sweet hopes of you in sight!  

1835.

1835.

TO ZANTE

     Fair isle, that from the fairest of all flowers,
         Thy gentlest of all gentle names dost take
     How many memories of what radiant hours
         At sight of thee and thine at once awake!
     How many scenes of what departed bliss!
         How many thoughts of what entombed hopes!
     How many visions of a maiden that is
         No more—no more upon thy verdant slopes!
     No more! alas, that magical sad sound
         Transfomring all! Thy charms shall please no more—
     Thy memory no more! Accursed ground
         Henceforth I hold thy flower-enamelled shore,
     O hyacinthine isle! O purple Zante!
         “Isoa d’oro! Fior di Levante!”
 
     Fair isle, that takes your name from the most beautiful of all flowers,  
         How many memories of those bright hours  
     You awaken in me at the sight of you and yours!  
         How many scenes of lost happiness!  
     How many thoughts of buried hopes!  
         How many visions of a maiden who is  
         No more—no more on your lush slopes!  
     No more! Alas, that bittersweet sound  
         Changes everything! Your charms will please no more—  
     Your memory no more! I now curse this ground  
         And your flower-covered shore,  
     O hyacinthine isle! O purple Zante!  
         “Isoa d’oro! Fior di Levante!”  

1837.

1837.

SCENES FROM “POLITIAN”

AN UNPUBLISHED DRAMA.

                                 I.

              Rome.—A Hall in a Palace  Alessandra and Castiglione.

      Alessandra.  Thou art sad, Castiglione.

      Castiglione.  Sad!—not I.
  Oh, I’m the happiest, happiest man in Rome!
  A few days more, thou knowest, my Alessandra,
  Will make thee mine. Oh, I am very happy!

      Aless.  Methinks thou hast a singular way of showing
  Thy happiness!—what ails thee, cousin of mine?
  Why didst thou sigh so deeply?

      Cas.  Did I sign?
  I was not conscious of it. It is a fashion,
  A silly—a most silly fashion I have
  When I am very happy. Did I sigh?                         (sighing.)

      Aless. Thou didst. Thou art not well. Thou hast indulged
  Too much of late, and I am vexed to see it.
  Late hours and wine, Castiglione,—these
  Will ruin thee! thou art already altered—
  Thy looks are haggard—nothing so wears away
  The constitution as late hours and wine.

      Cas. (musing.)  Nothing, fair cousin, nothing—not even deep
  sorrow—
  Wears it away like evil hours and wine.
  I will amend.

      Aless. Do it! I would have thee drop
  Thy riotous company, too—fellows low born—
  Ill suit the like with old Di Broglio’s heir
  And Alessandra’s husband.

      Cas.  I will drop them.

      Aless.   Thou wilt—thou must. Attend thou also more
  To thy dress and equipage—they are over plain
  For thy lofty rank and fashion—much depends
  Upon appearances.

      Cas.  I’ll see to it.

      Aless. Then see to it!—pay more attention, sir,
  To a becoming carriage—much thou wantest
  In dignity.

      Cas.  Much, much, oh! much I want
    In proper dignity.

      Aless.(haughtily)  Thou mockest me, sir!

      Cas. (abstractedly.)  Sweet, gentle Lalage!

      Aless. Heard I aright?
  I speak to him—he speaks of Lalage!
  Sir Count! (places her hand on his shoulder) what art thou dreaming?
  he’s not well!
  What ails thee, sir?

      Cas. (startling.)  Cousin! fair cousin!—madam!
  I crave thy pardon—indeed I am not well—
  Your hand from off my shoulder, if you please.
  This air is most oppressive!—Madam—the Duke!

                                                     Enter Di Broglio.

      Di Broglio.  My son, I’ve news for thee!—hey?—what’s the
  matter? (observing Alessandra)
  I’ the pouts? Kiss her, Castiglione! kiss her,
  You dog! and make it up, I say, this minute!
  I’ve news for you both. Politian is expected
  Hourly in Rome—Politian, Earl of Leicester!
  We’ll have him at the wedding. ’Tis his first visit
  To the imperial city.

      Aless. What! Politian
  Of Britain, Earl of Leicester?

      Di Brog.  The same, my love.
  We’ll have him at the wedding. A man quite young
  In years, but grey in fame. I have not seen him,
  But Rumour speaks of him as of a prodigy
  Pre-eminent in arts and arms, and wealth,
  And high descent. We’ll have him at the wedding.

      Aless. I have heard much of this Politian.
  Gay, volatile and giddy—is he not?
  And little given to thinking.

      Di Brog.  Far from it, love.
  No branch, they say, of all philosophy
  So deep abstruse he has not mastered it.
  Learned as few are learned.

      Aless. ’Tis very strange!
  I have known men have seen Politian
  And sought his company. They speak of him
  As of one who entered madly into life,
  Drinking the cup of pleasure to the dregs.

      Cas.  Ridiculous! Now I have seen Politian
  And know him well—nor learned nor mirthful he.
  He is a dreamer and a man shut out
  From common passions.

      Di Brog.  Children, we disagree.
  Let us go forth and taste the fragrant air
  Of the garden. Did I dream, or did I hear
  Politian was a melancholy man?                             (exeunt.)

                            II

    ROME. A Lady’s apartment, with a window open and looking into a garden.
  Lalage, in deep mourning, reading at a table on which lie some books and a
  hand mirror. In the background Jacinta (a servant maid) leans carelessly
  upon a chair.

      Lal. [Lalage] Jacinta! is it thou?

      Jac. [Jacinta] (pertly.) Yes, Ma’am, I’m here.

      Lal.   I did not know, Jacinta, you were in waiting.
  Sit down!—Let not my presence trouble you—
  Sit down!—for I am humble, most humble.

      Jac. (aside.) ’Tis time.
  (Jacinta seats herself in a side-long manner upon the chair, resting her
  elbows upon the back, and regarding her mistress with a contemptuous look.
  Lalage continues to read. )

      Lal. “It in another climate, so he said,
  “Bore a bright golden flower, but not i’ this soil!”
   (pauses—turns over some leaves, and resumes)
  “No lingering winters there, nor snow, nor shower—
  “But Ocean ever to refresh mankind
  “Breathes the shrill spirit of the western wind.”
   O, beautiful!—most beautiful—how like
  To what my fevered soul doth dream of Heaven!
  O happy land (pauses) She died!—the maiden died!
  A still more happy maiden who couldst die!
  Jacinta!
  (Jacinta returns no answer, and Lalage presently resumes.)
  Again!—a similar tale
  Told of a beauteous dame beyond the sea!
  Thus speaketh one Ferdinand in the words of the play—
  “She died full young”—one Bossola answers him—
  “I think not so—her infelicity
  “Seemed to have years too many”—Ah luckless lady!
  Jacinta! (still no answer)

      Here ‘s a far sterner story,
  But like—oh, very like in its despair—
  Of that Egyptian queen, winning so easily
  A thousand hearts—losing at length her own.
  She died. Thus endeth the history—and her maids
  Lean over and weep—two gentle maids
  With gentle names—Eiros and Charmion!
  Rainbow and Dove!——Jacinta!

      Jac. (pettishly.) Madam, what is it?

      Lal.  Wilt thou, my good Jacinta, be so kind
  As go down in the library and bring me
  The Holy Evangelists.

      Jac. Pshaw!   (exit.)

      Lal. If there be balm
  For the wounded spirit in Gilead it is there!
  Dew in the night time of my bitter trouble
  Will there be found—“dew sweeter far than that
  Which hangs like chains of pearl on Hermon hill.”
   (re-enter Jacinta, and throws a volume on the table.)
  There, ma’am, ‘s the book. Indeed she is very troublesome.  (aside.)

      Lal. (astonished.)  What didst thou say, Jacinta? Have I done aught
  To grieve thee or to vex thee?—I am sorry.
  For thou hast served me long and ever been
  Trust-worthy and respectful.                   (resumes her reading.)

      Jac. I can’t believe
  She has any more jewels—no—no—she gave me all.    (aside.)

      Lal. What didst thou say, Jacinta? Now I bethink me
  Thou hast not spoken lately of thy wedding.
  How fares good Ugo?—and when is it to be?
  Can I do aught?—is there no farther aid
  Thou needest, Jacinta?

      Jac. Is there no farther aid!
  That’s meant for me. (aside) I’m sure, madam, you need not
  Be always throwing those jewels in my teeth.

      Lal. Jewels! Jacinta,—now indeed, Jacinta,
  I thought not of the jewels.

      Jac. Oh! perhaps not!
  But then I might have sworn it. After all,
  There ‘s Ugo says the ring is only paste,
  For he ‘s sure the Count Castiglione never
  Would have given a real diamond to such as you;
  And at the best I’m certain, Madam, you cannot
  Have use for jewels now. But I might have sworn it.          (exit.)
  (Lalage bursts into tears and leans her head upon the table—after a
  short pause raises it.)

      Lal.  Poor Lalage!—and is it come to this?
  Thy servant maid!—but courage!—’tis but a viper
  Whom thou hast cherished to sting thee to the soul!
  (taking up the mirror)
  Ha! here at least ‘s a friend—too much a friend
  In earlier days—a friend will not deceive thee.
  Fair mirror and true! now tell me (for thou canst)
  A tale—a pretty tale—and heed thou not
  Though it be rife with woe: It answers me.
  It speaks of sunken eyes, and wasted cheeks,
  And Beauty long deceased—remembers me
  Of Joy departed—Hope, the Seraph Hope,
  Inurned and entombed:—now, in a tone
  Low, sad, and solemn, but most audible,
  Whispers of early grave untimely yawning
  For ruined maid. Fair mirror and true—thou liest not!
  Thou hast no end to gain—no heart to break—
  Castiglione lied who said he loved—
  Thou true—he false!—false!—false!
  (While she speaks, a monk enters her apartment, and approaches
  unobserved.)

      Monk. Refuge thou hast,
  Sweet daughter, in Heaven. Think of eternal things!
  Give up thy soul to penitence, and pray!

      Lal. (arising hurriedly.)  I cannot pray!—My soul is at war
  with God!
  The frightful sounds of merriment below
  Disturb my senses—go! I cannot pray—
  The sweet airs from the garden worry me!
  Thy presence grieves me—go!—thy priestly raiment
  Fills me with dread—thy ebony crucifix
  With horror and awe!

      Monk. Think of thy precious soul!

      Lal.  Think of my early days!—think of my father
  And mother in Heaven think of our quiet home,
  And the rivulet that ran before the door!
  Think of my little sisters!—think of them!
  And think of me!—think of my trusting love
  And confidence—his vows—my ruin—think—think
  Of my unspeakable misery!—begone!
  Yet stay! yet stay!—what was it thou saidst of prayer
  And penitence? Didst thou not speak of faith
  And vows before the throne?

      Monk.  I did.

      Lal. Lal. ’Tis well.
  There is a vow were fitting should be made—
  A sacred vow, imperative, and urgent,
  A solemn vow!

      Monk. Daughter, this zeal is well!

      Lal.  Father, this zeal is anything but well!
  Hast thou a crucifix fit for this thing?
  A crucifix whereon to register
  This sacred vow?                             (he hands her his own)
  Not that—Oh! no!—no!—no!                            (shuddering)
  Not that! Not that!—I tell thee, holy man,
  Thy raiments and thy ebony cross affright me!
  Stand back! I have a crucifix myself,—
  I have a crucifix Methinks ’twere fitting
  The deed—the vow—the symbol of the deed—
  And the deed’s register should tally, father!

                  (draws a cross-handled dagger, and raises it on high)
  Behold the cross wherewith a vow like mine
  Is written in Heaven!

      Monk. Thy words are madness, daughter,
  And speak a purpose unholy—thy lips are livid—
  Thine eyes are wild—tempt not the wrath divine!
  Pause ere too late!—oh, be not—be not rash!
  Swear not the oath—oh, swear it not!

      Lal. ’Tis sworn!

                          III.

        An apartment in a Palace. Politian and Baldazzar.

       Baldazzar.———Arouse thee now, Politian!
  Thou must not—nay indeed, indeed, shalt not
  Give away unto these humors. Be thyself!
  Shake off the idle fancies that beset thee,
  And live, for now thou diest!

       Politian.  Not so, Baldazzar! Surely I live.

       Bal. Politian, it doth grieve me
  To see thee thus.

      Pol.  Baldazzar, it doth grieve me
  To give thee cause for grief, my honoured friend.
  Command me, sir! what wouldst thou have me do?
  At thy behest I will shake off that nature
  Which from my, forefathers I did inherit,
  Which with my mother’s milk I did imbibe,
  And be no more Politian, but some other.
  Command me, sir!

      Bal.  To the field, then—to the field—
  To the senate or the field.

      Pol. Alas! Alas!
  There is an imp would follow me even there!
  There is an imp hath followed me even there!
  There is—what voice was that?

      Bal.  I heard it not.
  I heard not any voice except thine own,
  And the echo of thine own.

      Pol.  Then I but dreamed.

      Bal.  Give not thy soul to dreams: the camp—the court,
  Befit thee—Fame awaits thee—Glory calls—
  And her the trumpet-tongued thou wilt not hear
  In hearkening to imaginary sounds
  And phantom voices.

      Pol.  It is a phantom voice!
  Didst thou not hear it then?

      Bal.  I heard it not.

      Pol.  Thou heardst it not!—Baldazaar, speak no more
  To me, Politian, of thy camps and courts.
  Oh! I am sick, sick, sick, even unto death,
  Of the hollow and high-sounding vanities
  Of the populous Earth! Bear with me yet awhile!
  We have been boys together—schoolfellows—
  And now are friends—yet shall not be so long—
  For in the eternal city thou shalt do me
  A kind and gentle office, and a Power—
  A Power august, benignant and supreme—
  Shall then absolve thee of all further duties
  Unto thy friend.

      Bal.  Thou speakest a fearful riddle
  I will not understand.

      Pol.  Yet now as Fate
  Approaches, and the Hours are breathing low,
  The sands of Time are changed to golden grains,
  And dazzle me, Baldazzar. Alas! alas!
  I cannot die, having within my heart
  So keen a relish for the beautiful
  As hath been kindled within it. Methinks the air
  Is balmier now than it was wont to be—
  Rich melodies are floating in the winds—
  A rarer loveliness bedecks the earth—
  And with a holier lustre the quiet moon
  Sitteth in Heaven.—Hist! hist! thou canst not say
  Thou hearest not now, Baldazzar?

      Bal.  Indeed I hear not.

      Pol.  Not hear it!—listen now!—listen!—the faintest sound
  And yet the sweetest that ear ever heard!
  A lady’s voice!—and sorrow in the tone!
  Baldazzar, it oppresses me like a spell!
  Again!—again!—how solemnly it falls
  Into my heart of hearts! that eloquent voice
  Surely I never heard—yet it were well
  Had I but heard it with its thrilling tones
  In earlier days!

      Bal.  I myself hear it now.
  Be still!—the voice, if I mistake not greatly,
  Proceeds from yonder lattice—which you may see
  Very plainly through the window—it belongs,
  Does it not? unto this palace of the Duke.
  The singer is undoubtedly beneath
  The roof of his Excellency—and perhaps
  Is even that Alessandra of whom he spoke
  As the betrothed of Castiglione,
  His son and heir.

      Pol.  Be still!—it comes again!

      Voice        “And is thy heart so strong
  (very faintly)   As for to leave me thus
              Who hath loved thee so long

              In wealth and woe among?
              And is thy heart so strong
              As for to leave me thus?
                  Say nay—say nay!”

      Bal.  The song is English, and I oft have heard it
  In merry England—never so plaintively—
  Hist! hist! it comes again!

      Voice            “Is it so strong
  (more loudly)    As for to leave me thus
              Who hath loved thee so long
              In wealth and woe among?
              And is thy heart so strong
              As for to leave me thus?
                  Say nay—say nay!”

      Bal.  ’Tis hushed and all is still!

      Pol.  All is not still!

      Bal.  Let us go down.

      Pol.  Go down, Baldazzar, go!

      Bal.  The hour is growing late—the Duke awaits use—
  Thy presence is expected in the hall
  Below. What ails thee, Earl Politian?

      Voice           “Who hath loved thee so long
  (distinctly)        In wealth and woe among,

                          And is thy heart so strong?

                               Say nay—say nay!”

      Bal.  Let us descend!—’tis time. Politian, give
  These fancies to the wind. Remember, pray,
  Your bearing lately savored much of rudeness
  Unto the Duke. Arouse thee! and remember

      Pol.  Remember? I do. Lead on! I do remember.

                                                  (going.)
  Let us descend. Believe me I would give,
  Freely would give the broad lands of my earldom
  To look upon the face hidden by yon lattice—
  “To gaze upon that veiled face, and hear
  Once more that silent tongue.”

      Bal.  Let me beg you, sir,
  Descend with me—the Duke may be offended.
  Let us go down, I pray you.

      (Voice loudly) Say nay!—say nay!

      Pol. (aside)  ’Tis strange!—’tis very strange—methought the
  voice
  Chimed in with my desires, and bade me stay!

                                     (approaching the window.)
  Sweet voice! I heed thee, and will surely stay.
  Now be this Fancy, by Heaven, or be it Fate,
  Still will I not descend. Baldazzar, make
  Apology unto the Duke for me;
  I go not down to-night.

      Bal.  Your lordship’s pleasure
  Shall be attended to. Good-night, Politian.

      Pol.  Good-night, my friend, good-night.

                           IV.

             The gardens of a Palace—Moonlight Lalage and Politian.

      Lalge.  And dost thou speak of love
  To me, Politian?—dost thou speak of love
  To Lalage?—ah, woe—ah, woe is me!
  This mockery is most cruel—most cruel indeed!

      Politian.  Weep not! oh, sob not thus!—thy bitter tears
  Will madden me. Oh, mourn not, Lalage—
  Be comforted! I know—I know it all,
  And still I speak of love. Look at me, brightest
  And beautiful Lalage!—turn here thine eyes!
  Thou askest me if I could speak of love,
  Knowing what I know, and seeing what I have seen.
  Thou askest me that—and thus I answer thee—
  Thus on my bended knee I answer thee.                    (kneeling.)
  Sweet Lalage, I love thee—love thee—love thee;
  Thro’ good and ill—thro’ weal and wo I love thee.
  Not mother, with her first-born on her knee,
  Thrills with intenser love than I for thee.
  Not on God’s altar, in any time or clime,
  Burned there a holier fire than burneth now
  Within my spirit for thee. And do I love?                 (arising.)
  Even for thy woes I love thee—even for thy woes-
  Thy beauty and thy woes.

      Lal.  Alas, proud Earl,
  Thou dost forget thyself, remembering me!
  How, in thy father’s halls, among the maidens
  Pure and reproachless of thy princely line,
  Could the dishonored Lalage abide?
  Thy wife, and with a tainted memory-
  MY seared and blighted name, how would it tally
  With the ancestral honors of thy house,
  And with thy glory?

      Pol.  Speak not to me of glory!
  I hate—I loathe the name; I do abhor
  The unsatisfactory and ideal thing.
  Art thou not Lalage and I Politian?
  Do I not love—art thou not beautiful-
  What need we more? Ha! glory!—now speak not of it.
  By all I hold most sacred and most solemn-
  By all my wishes now—my fears hereafter-
  By all I scorn on earth and hope in heaven-
  There is no deed I would more glory in,
  Than in thy cause to scoff at this same glory
  And trample it under foot. What matters it-
  What matters it, my fairest, and my best,
  That we go down unhonored and forgotten
  Into the dust—so we descend together.
  Descend together—and then—and then, perchance-

      Lal.  Why dost thou pause, Politian?

      Pol.  And then, perchance
  Arise together, Lalage, and roam
  The starry and quiet dwellings of the blest,
  And still-

      Lal.  Why dost thou pause, Politian?

      Pol.  And still together—together.

      Lal.  Now Earl of Leicester!
  Thou lovest me, and in my heart of hearts
  I feel thou lovest me truly.

      Pol.  Oh, Lalage!

                                       (throwing himself upon his knee.)
  And lovest thou me?

      Lal.  Hist! hush! within the gloom
  Of yonder trees methought a figure passed-
  A spectral figure, solemn, and slow, and noiseless-
  Like the grim shadow Conscience, solemn and noiseless.

                                             (walks across and returns.)
  I was mistaken—’twas but a giant bough
  Stirred by the autumn wind. Politian!

      Pol.  My Lalage—my love! why art thou moved?
  Why dost thou turn so pale? Not Conscience’ self,
  Far less a shadow which thou likenest to it,
  Should shake the firm spirit thus. But the night wind
  Is chilly—and these melancholy boughs
  Throw over all things a gloom.

      Lal.  Politian!
  Thou speakest to me of love. Knowest thou the land
  With which all tongues are busy—a land new found—
  Miraculously found by one of Genoa—
  A thousand leagues within the golden west?
  A fairy land of flowers, and fruit, and sunshine,
  And crystal lakes, and over-arching forests,
  And mountains, around whose towering summits the winds
  Of Heaven untrammelled flow—which air to breathe
  Is Happiness now, and will be Freedom hereafter
  In days that are to come?

      Pol.  O, wilt thou—wilt thou
  Fly to that Paradise—my Lalage, wilt thou
  Fly thither with me? There Care shall be forgotten,
  And Sorrow shall be no more, and Eros be all.
  And life shall then be mine, for I will live
  For thee, and in thine eyes—and thou shalt be
  No more a mourner—but the radiant Joys
  Shall wait upon thee, and the angel Hope
  Attend thee ever; and I will kneel to thee
  And worship thee, and call thee my beloved,
  My own, my beautiful, my love, my wife,
  My all;—oh, wilt thou—wilt thou, Lalage,
  Fly thither with me?

      Lal.  A deed is to be done—
  Castiglione lives!

      Pol.  And he shall die!                                (exit)

      Lal. (after a pause.)  And—he—shall—die!—alas!
  Castiglione die? Who spoke the words?
  Where am I?—what was it he said?—Politian!
  Thou art not gone—thou are not gone, Politian!
  I feel thou art not gone—yet dare not look,
  Lest I behold thee not; thou couldst not go
  With those words upon thy lips—O, speak to me!
  And let me hear thy voice—one word—one word,
  To say thou art not gone,—one little sentence,
  To say how thou dost scorn—how thou dost hate
  My womanly weakness. Ha! ha! thou art not gone-
  O speak to me! I knew thou wouldst not go!
  I knew thou wouldst not, couldst not, durst not go.
  Villain, thou art not gone—thou mockest me!
  And thus I clutch thee—thus!—He is gone, he is gone
  Gone—gone. Where am I?—’tis well—’tis very well!
  So that the blade be keen—the blow be sure,
  ’Tis well, ’tis very well—alas! alas!

                            V.

                 The suburbs. Politian alone.

      Politian.  This weakness grows upon me. I am faint,
  And much I fear me ill—it will not do
  To die ere I have lived!—Stay, stay thy hand,
  O Azrael, yet awhile!—Prince of the Powers
  Of Darkness and the Tomb, O pity me!
  O pity me! let me not perish now,
  In the budding of my Paradisal Hope!
  Give me to live yet—yet a little while:
  ’Tis I who pray for life—I who so late
  Demanded but to die!—what sayeth the Count?

                    Enter Baldazzar.

      Baldazzar.  That knowing no cause of quarrel or of feud
  Between the Earl Politian and himself.
  He doth decline your cartel.

      Pol.  What didst thou say?
  What answer was it you brought me, good Baldazzar?
  With what excessive fragrance the zephyr comes
  Laden from yonder bowers!—a fairer day,
  Or one more worthy Italy, methinks
  No mortal eyes have seen!—what said the Count?

      Bal.  That he, Castiglione’ not being aware
  Of any feud existing, or any cause
  Of quarrel between your lordship and himself,
  Cannot accept the challenge.

      Pol.  It is most true—
  All this is very true. When saw you, sir,
  When saw you now, Baldazzar, in the frigid
  Ungenial Britain which we left so lately,
  A heaven so calm as this—so utterly free
  From the evil taint of clouds?—and he did say?

      Bal.  No more, my lord, than I have told you, sir:
  The Count Castiglione will not fight,
  Having no cause for quarrel.

      Pol.  Now this is true-
  All very true. Thou art my friend, Baldazzar,
  And I have not forgotten it—thou’lt do me
  A piece of service; wilt thou go back and say
  Unto this man, that I, the Earl of Leicester,
  Hold him a villain?—thus much, I prythee, say
  Unto the Count—it is exceeding just
  He should have cause for quarrel.

      Bal.  My lord!—my friend!-

      Pol.  (aside.) ’Tis he!—he comes himself? (aloud) Thou reasonest
  well.
  I know what thou wouldst say—not send the message-
  Well!—I will think of it—I will not send it.
  Now prythee, leave me—hither doth come a person
  With whom affairs of a most private nature
  I would adjust.

      Bal.  I go—to-morrow we meet,
  Do we not?—at the Vatican.

      Pol.  At the Vatican.                                     (exit
  Bal.)

                    Enter Castigilone.

      Cas.  The Earl of Leicester here!

      Pol.  I am the Earl of Leicester, and thou seest,
  Dost thou not? that I am here.

      Cas.  My lord, some strange,
  Some singular mistake—misunderstanding—
  Hath without doubt arisen: thou hast been urged
  Thereby, in heat of anger, to address
  Some words most unaccountable, in writing,
  To me, Castiglione; the bearer being
  Baldazzar, Duke of Surrey. I am aware
  Of nothing which might warrant thee in this thing,
  Having given thee no offence. Ha!—am I right?
  ’Twas a mistake?—undoubtedly—we all
  Do err at times.

      Pol.  Draw, villain, and prate no more!

      Cas.  Ha!—draw?—and villain? have at thee then at once,
  Proud Earl!                                   (draws.)

      Pol.  (drawing.)  Thus to the expiatory tomb,
  Untimely sepulchre, I do devote thee
  In the name of Lalage!

      Cas.  (letting fall his sword and recoiling to the extremity of the
  stage)

                      Of Lalage!
  Hold off—thy sacred hand!—avaunt, I say!
  Avaunt—I will not fight thee—indeed I dare not.

      Pol.  Thou wilt not fight with me didst say, Sir Count?
  Shall I be baffled thus?—now this is well;
  Didst say thou darest not? Ha!

      Cas.  I dare not—dare not—
  Hold off thy hand—with that beloved name
  So fresh upon thy lips I will not fight thee—
  I cannot—dare not.

      Pol.  Now by my halidom
  I do believe thee!—coward, I do believe thee!

      Cas.  Ha!—coward!—this may not be!

       (clutches his sword and staggers towards POLITIAN, but his purpose
  is changed before reaching him, and he falls upon his knee at the feet of
  the Earl)

                             Alas! my lord,
  It is—it is—most true. In such a cause
  I am the veriest coward. O pity me!

      Pol.  (greatly softened.)  Alas!—I do—indeed I pity thee.

      Cas.  And Lalage-

      Pol.  Scoundrel!—arise and die!

      Cas.  It needeth not be—thus—thus—O let me die
  Thus on my bended knee. It were most fitting
  That in this deep humiliation I perish.
  For in the fight I will not raise a hand
  Against thee, Earl of Leicester. Strike thou home—

                                                     (baring his bosom.)
  Here is no let or hindrance to thy weapon-
  Strike home. I will not fight thee.

      Pol.  Now, s’ Death and Hell!
  Am I not—am I not sorely—grievously tempted
  To take thee at thy word? But mark me, sir,
  Think not to fly me thus. Do thou prepare
  For public insult in the streets—before
  The eyes of the citizens. I’ll follow thee
  Like an avenging spirit I’ll follow thee
  Even unto death. Before those whom thou lovest-
  Before all Rome I’ll taunt thee, villain,—I’ll taunt thee,
  Dost hear? with cowardice—thou wilt not fight me?
  Thou liest! thou shalt!                                      (exit.)

      Cas.  Now this indeed is just!
  Most righteous, and most just, avenging Heaven!

  {In the book there is a gap in numbering the notes between 12 and 29.
 —ED}
                                 I.

              Rome.—A Hall in a Palace  Alessandra and Castiglione.

      Alessandra. You seem sad, Castiglione.

      Castiglione. Sad? Not me! Oh, I’m the happiest man in Rome! Just a few more days, you know, my Alessandra, and you will be mine. Oh, I am so happy!

      Aless. I think you have a strange way of showing your happiness! What’s bothering you, cousin? Why did you sigh so deeply?

      Cas. Did I sigh? I didn’t even realize it. It’s a silly habit I have when I’m really happy. Did I sigh? (sighing.)

      Aless. You did. You’re not well. You’ve overindulged lately, and it worries me. Late nights and wine, Castiglione—these will ruin you! You already look tired—your face is haggard—nothing wears you down like late nights and wine.

      Cas. (thinking.) Nothing, dear cousin, nothing—not even deep sorrow—wears it away like late nights and wine. I will do better.

      Aless. Do it! I also want you to avoid your wild company—those lowborn fellows don’t suit the heir of old Di Broglio or Alessandra’s husband.

      Cas. I’ll leave them behind.

      Aless. You will—you must. Pay more attention to your clothing and appearance—they are too plain for your high rank—much depends on appearances.

      Cas. I’ll take care of it.

      Aless. Then do it! Pay more attention, please, to how you carry yourself—you need more dignity.

      Cas. Oh, I want much, much more in dignity.

      Aless. (haughtily) You’re making fun of me, sir!

      Cas. (absentmindedly.) Sweet, gentle Lalage!

      Aless. Did I hear you right? I’m talking to you—and you’re speaking of Lalage! Sir Count! (places her hand on his shoulder) What are you dreaming about? You’re not well! What’s wrong with you, sir?

      Cas. (startled.) Cousin! dear cousin!—madam! I beg your pardon—I really am not well—please remove your hand from my shoulder. This air is stifling!—Madam—the Duke!

                                                     Enter Di Broglio.

      Di Broglio. My son, I have news for you!—hey?—what’s the matter? (noticing Alessandra) You’re sulking? Kiss her, Castiglione! Kiss her, you rascal! Make up right now! I have news for you both. Politian is expected to arrive in Rome any moment now—Politian, Earl of Leicester! We’ll have him at the wedding. It will be his first visit to the imperial city.

      Aless. What! Politian of Britain, Earl of Leicester?

      Di Brog. The same, my love. We’ll have him at the wedding. He’s young in years, but famous. I haven’t seen him, but Rumor speaks of him as a prodigy, exceptional in the arts, in warfare, in wealth, and in noble birth. We’ll have him at the wedding.

      Aless. I’ve heard a lot about this Politian. He’s lively, flighty, and a bit scatterbrained, isn’t he? Not someone who thinks deeply.

      Di Brog. Quite the opposite, love. No part of philosophy so deep or complex that he hasn’t mastered it. He’s learned like few others.

      Aless. That’s very strange! I’ve known people who have met Politian and sought his company. They speak of him as someone who dives headfirst into life, drinking from the cup of pleasure to the very bottom.

      Cas. That’s absurd! I’ve met Politian and I know him well—he’s neither learned nor cheerful. He’s a dreamer, separated from common feelings.

      Di Brog. Children, we disagree. Let’s go outside and enjoy the fragrant air of the garden. Did I dream, or did I hear that Politian is a melancholic man? (exeunt.)

                            II

    ROME. A Lady’s apartment, with a window open and looking into a garden. Lalage, in deep mourning, reading at a table on which lie some books and a hand mirror. In the background Jacinta (a servant maid) leans carelessly upon a chair.

      Lal. Jacinta! Is that you?

      Jac. Yes, I’m here.

      Lal. I didn’t know you were waiting, Jacinta. Sit down! Don’t let my presence disturb you—sit down!—for I am humble, very humble.

      Jac. (aside.) It’s time. (Jacinta sits down sideways on the chair, resting her elbows on the back and looking at her mistress with a contemptuous expression. Lalage continues to read.)

      Lal. “In another climate, so he said, bore a bright golden flower, but not in this soil!” (pauses—turns over some pages, and resumes) “No lingering winters there, nor snow, nor rain—But Ocean always refreshes mankind, Breathing the sharp spirit of the western wind.” Oh, beautiful!—so beautiful—how like what my fevered soul dreams of Heaven! Oh happy land (pauses) She died!—the maiden died! A much happier maiden who could die! Jacinta! (Jacinta doesn’t respond, and Lalage resumes.) Again!—a similar tale told of a beautiful lady across the sea! Thus speaks one Ferdinand in the words of the play—“She died very young”—one Bossola answers him—“I think not so—her misfortune seemed to have years too many”—Ah, poor lady! Jacinta! (still no answer)

      Here’s a far harsher story, but very similar in its despair— Of that Egyptian queen, winning a thousand hearts so easily—finally losing her own. She died. Thus ends the story—and her maids lean over and weep—two gentle maids with sweet names—Eiros and Charmion! Rainbow and Dove!—Jacinta!

      Jac. (petulantly.) Madam, what is it?

      Lal. Will you, dear Jacinta, be so kind as to go down to the library and bring me the Holy Evangelists?

      Jac. Ugh! (exit.)

      Lal. If there’s balm for a wounded spirit in Gilead, it’s there! Dew in the night of my bitter trouble will be found—“sweeter far than that which hangs like chains of pearl on Hermon hill.” (re-enter Jacinta and throws a volume on the table.) There, ma’am, here’s the book. Indeed, you are very troublesome. (aside.)

      Lal. (astonished.) What did you say, Jacinta? Have I done anything to upset you? I’m sorry. You have served me long and have always been trustworthy and respectful. (resumes her reading.)

      Jac. I can’t believe she has any more jewels—no—no—she gave me everything. (aside.)

      Lal. What did you say, Jacinta? Now that I think about it, you haven’t talked lately about your wedding. How is good Ugo? And when will it be? Can I do anything? Is there any further assistance you need, Jacinta?

      Jac. Is there any further assistance? That’s aimed at me. (aside) I’m sure, madam, you need not keep throwing that about your jewels.

      Lal. Jewels! Jacinta—now truly, Jacinta, I wasn’t thinking of the jewels.

      Jac. Oh! perhaps not! But then I might have sworn it. After all, Ugo says the ring is only paste, because he’s sure the Count Castiglione would never have given you a real diamond; and at the best, I’m certain, ma’am, you cannot have use for jewels now. But I might have sworn it. (exit.) (Lalage bursts into tears and leans her head on the table—after a short pause, she raises it.)

      Lal. Poor Lalage!—has it come to this? Your servant maid!—but be brave! it’s just a viper whom you’ve cherished to sting you to the soul! (taking up the mirror) Ha! here at least is a friend—too much of a friend in earlier days—a friend won’t deceive you. Fair mirror and true! now tell me (for you can) a tale—a pretty tale—and heed not though it be riddled with woe: It answers me. It speaks of sunken eyes and wasted cheeks, And Beauty long deceased—reminds me of Joy departed—Hope, the Seraph Hope, Inurned and entombed:—now, in a tone low, sad, and solemn, but very audible, whispers of an early grave untimely yawning for a ruined maiden. Fair mirror and true—you do not lie! You have no end to gain—no heart to break—Castiglione lied when he said he loved—You are true—he is false—false!—false! (While she speaks, a monk enters her apartment and approaches unnoticed.)

      Monk. You have refuge, sweet daughter, in Heaven. Think of eternal things! Give up your soul to penitence, and pray!

      Lal. (hurrying up.) I cannot pray!—My soul is at war with God! The terrible sounds of merriment below disturb my senses—go! I cannot pray—The sweet airs from the garden trouble me! Your presence grieves me—go!—your priestly garb fills me with dread—your ebony crucifix with horror and awe!

      Monk. Think of your precious soul!

      Lal. Think of my early days!—think of my father and mother in Heaven, think of our quiet home, and the stream that ran before the door! Think of my little sisters!—think of them! And think of me!—think of my trusting love and confidence—his vows—my ruin—think—think of my unspeakable misery!—begone! Yet stay! Yet stay!—what did you say about prayer and penitence? Did you not speak of faith and vows before the throne?

      Monk. I did.

      Lal. It is well. There is a vow that should be made—a sacred vow, imperative, and urgent, a solemn vow!

      Monk. Daughter, this zeal is well!

      Lal. Father, this zeal is anything but well! Do you have a crucifix fit for this thing? A crucifix on which to register this sacred vow? (he hands her his own) Not that—Oh! no!—no!—no! (shuddering) Not that! Not that!—I tell you, holy man, your robes and your ebony cross frighten me! Stand back! I have a crucifix myself—I have a crucifix. I think it would be fitting—the deed—the vow—the symbol of the deed—and the deed’s register should match, father!

                  (draws a cross-handled dagger and raises it high) Behold the cross with which a vow like mine is written in Heaven!

      Monk. Your words are madness, daughter, and speak an unholy purpose—your lips are livid—your eyes are wild—tempt not the wrath divine! Pause before it’s too late!—oh, do not—do not be rash! Swear not the oath—oh, do not swear it!

      Lal. It’s sworn!

                          III.

        An apartment in a Palace. Politian and Baldazzar.

       Baldazzar. Arouse yourself now, Politian! You must not—no indeed, you shall not give in to these moods. Be yourself! Shake off the idle whims that beset you, and live, for now you’re dying!

       Politian. Not so, Baldazzar! Surely I live.

       Bal. Politian, it grieves me to see you this way.

      Pol. Baldazzar, it grieves me to cause you sorrow, my honored friend. Command me, sir! What would you have me do? At your bidding, I will shake off that nature which I inherited from my forefathers, which I imbibed with my mother’s milk, and be no longer Politian, but someone else. Command me, sir!

      Bal. To the field then—to the field—to the senate or the field.

      Pol. Alas! Alas! There’s a spirit that follows me even there! There’s a voice that follows me even there! What voice was that?

      Bal. I heard nothing. I heard no voice except your own, and the echo of your own.

      Pol. Then I merely dreamed.

      Bal. Don’t give your soul to dreams: the camp—the court suit you—Fame awaits you—Glory calls—and her trumpet will not reach you if you’re listening to imaginary sounds and phantom voices.

      Pol. It is a phantom voice! Did you not hear it then?

      Bal. I heard nothing.

      Pol. You didn’t hear it?—Baldazzar, don’t speak to me about your camps and courts. Oh! I am so tired, tired, tired, even unto death of the hollow and high-sounding vanities of the busy Earth! Bear with me a little longer! We were boys together—schoolmates—and now friends—but that shall not last long—for in the Eternal City, you will do me a kind and gentle favor, and a Power— A Power august, kind, and supreme—shall then absolve you of all further duties to your friend.

      Bal. You speak a fearful riddle I will not understand.

      Pol. Yet now as Fate approaches, and the Hours are breathing low, the sands of Time are turning to golden grains, and dazzling me, Baldazzar. Alas! alas! I cannot die, having in my heart so keen a relish for the beautiful that has been kindled within it. I think the air is now more fragrant than it used to be—rich melodies are floating in the winds—a rarer loveliness decorates the earth—and the quiet moon sits in Heaven with a holier glow.—Hush! Hush! You cannot say you don’t hear it now, Baldazzar?

      Bal. Indeed I hear nothing.

      Pol. Not hear it!—listen now!—listen!—the faintest sound and yet the sweetest that any ear ever heard! A lady’s voice!—with sorrow in the tone! Baldazzar, it weighs on me like a spell! Again!—again!—how solemnly it falls into my heart of hearts! That eloquent voice I’ve surely never heard—yet it would have been good had I heard it in earlier days!

      Bal. I hear it myself now. Be still!—the voice, if I’m not mistaken, is coming from yonder window—which you can see very clearly through the window—it belongs, does it not? to this Duke’s palace. The singer is undoubtedly beneath the roof of his Excellency—and perhaps is even that Alessandra whom he spoke of as the betrothed of Castiglione, his son and heir.

      Pol. Be silent!—it comes again!

      Voice “And is your heart so strong (very faintly) As to leave me thus Who has loved you so long In wealth and woe? And is your heart so strong As to leave me thus? Say no—say no!”

      Bal. The song is English, and I’ve often heard it in merry England—never so mournfully—Hush! Hush! It’s coming again!

      Voice “Is it so strong (more loudly) As to leave me thus Who has loved you so long In wealth and woe? And is your heart so strong As to leave me thus? Say no—say no!”

      Bal. It’s hushed, and everything is still!

      Pol. All is not still!

      Bal. Let’s go down.

      Pol. Go down, Baldazzar, go!

      Bal. The hour is getting late—the Duke is waiting for us—your presence is expected in the hall below. What’s wrong with you, Earl Politian?

      Voice “Who has loved you so long (distinctly) In wealth and woe, And is your heart so strong? Say no—say no!”

      Bal. Let’s head down!—it’s time. Politian, leave these fancies to the wind. Remember, please, your behavior lately has been quite rude to the Duke. Wake up! And remember—

      Pol. Remember? I do. Lead on! I do remember.

                                                  (going.) Let’s descend. Believe me, I would freely give the vast lands of my earldom to look upon the face hidden by yonder lattice—to stare upon that veiled face, and hear once more that silent tongue.

      Bal. Let me beg you, sir, come down with me—the Duke may be offended. Let us go down, I pray you.

      (Voice loudly) Say no!—say no!

      Pol. (aside) It’s strange!—it’s very strange—I thought the voice chimed in with my desires, and asked me to stay!

                                     (approaching the window.) Sweet voice! I heed you, and will surely stay. Now let this be Fantasy, by Heaven, or let it be Fate, still I will not go down. Baldazzar, apologize to the Duke for me; I will not go down tonight.

      Bal. Your lordship’s wish shall be attended to. Goodnight, Politian.

      Pol. Goodnight, my friend, goodnight.

                           IV.

             The gardens of a Palace—Moonlight Lalage and Politian.

      Lalage. And do you speak of love to me, Politian?—do you speak of love to Lalage?—ah, woe—oh, woe is me! This mockery is so cruel—most cruel indeed!

      Politian. Weep not! oh, do not sob like this! Your bitter tears will drive me mad. Oh, mourn not, Lalage—be comforted! I know—I know it all, and still I speak of love. Look at me, brightest and beautiful Lalage!—turn your eyes here! You ask me if I could speak of love, knowing what I know, and seeing what I have seen. You ask me that—and this is my answer—and thus on my bended knee, I answer you. (kneeling.) Sweet Lalage, I love you—love you—love you; through good and ill—through joy and sorrow, I love you. Not a mother, with her first-born on her knee, thrills with more intense love than I have for you. Not on God’s altar, at any time or place, has burned a holier fire than now burns in my spirit for you. And do I love? (arising.) Even for your woes, I love you—even for your woes—your beauty and your woes.

      Lal. Alas, proud Earl, you forget yourself, remembering me! How, in your father’s halls, among the pure and unblemished maidens of your noble lineage, could the dishonored Lalage stay? Your wife, with a tarnished memory—my scarred and blighted name, how could it align with the ancestral honors of your house and with your glory?

      Pol. Do not speak to me of glory! I hate—I loathe that name; I abhor the unattainable ideal. Are you not Lalage, and I Politian? Do I not love—are you not beautiful—what more do we need? Ha! Glory!—now do not speak of it. By all I hold most sacred and most solemn—by all my current wishes—my future fears—by all I scorn on earth and hope in heaven—there is no deed I would find more glorious than to scoff at this very glory in your name and trample it underfoot. What does it matter—what does it matter, my fairest, and my best—that we go down unhonored and forgotten into the dust—so long as we descend together. Descend together—and then—and then, perhaps—

      Lal. Why do you pause, Politian?

      Pol. And then, perhaps rise together, Lalage, and roam the starry and peaceful dwellings of the blessed, and still—

      Lal. Why do you pause, Politian?

      Pol. And still together—together.

      Lal. Now Earl of Leicester! You love me, and in the depths of my heart, I feel you genuinely love me.

      Pol. Oh, Lalage! (throwing himself upon his knee.) And do you love me?

      Lal. Hush! Quiet! I thought I saw a figure pass within the gloom of those trees—a spectral figure, solemn, slow, and noiseless—like the grim shadow of Conscience, solemn and noiseless.

                                             (walks across and returns.) I was mistaken—it was just a giant branch stirred by the autumn wind. Politian!

      Pol. My Lalage—my love! why are you agitated? Why do you turn so pale? Not even Conscience itself, far less the shadow you liken it to, should shake the firm spirit like this. But the night breeze is chilly—and these melancholy branches cast a gloom over everything.

      Lal. Politian! You speak to me of love. Do you know the land that all tongues are buzzing about—a newly found land—miraculously discovered by one from Genoa—a thousand leagues into the golden west? A fairyland of flowers, fruit, and sunshine, with crystal lakes, overarching forests, and mountains, around whose towering peaks the winds of Heaven flow freely—which air to breathe is Happiness now, and will be Freedom in the days to come?

      Pol. Oh, will you—will you fly to that Paradise—my Lalage, will you fly there with me? There Care shall be forgotten, and Sorrow shall be no more, and Eros shall be everything. And life then shall be mine, for I will live for you, and in your eyes—and you shall be no longer a mourner—but the radiant Joys shall attend you, and the angel Hope shall always be with you; and I will kneel to you and worship you, and call you my beloved, my own, my beautiful, my love, my wife, my everything; oh, will you—will you, Lalage, fly there with me?

      Lal. A deed must be done—Castiglione lives!

      Pol. And he shall die! (exit)

      Lal. (after a pause.) And—he—shall—die!—alas! Castiglione die? Who spoke those words? Where am I?—what was it he said?—Politian! You are not gone—you are not gone, Politian! I feel you are not gone—but I dare not look, lest I find you not; you could not leave with those words on your lips—Oh, speak to me! And let me hear your voice—one word—one word, to say you are not gone—one little sentence, to say how you scorn—how you hate my womanly weakness. Ha! ha! you are not gone—Oh, speak to me! I knew you would not go! I knew you would not, could not, daren’t go. Villain, you are not gone—you mock me! And thus I clutch you—thus!—He is gone, he is gone—gone—gone. Where am I?—it’s well—it’s very well! So long as the blade is keen—the blow sure, it’s well, it’s very well—alas! alas!

                            V.

                 The suburbs. Politian alone.

      Politian. This weakness grows on me. I am faint, and I fear I am ill—it won’t do to die before I have lived!—Stay, stay your hand, O Azrael, just a little while!—Prince of Darkness and the Tomb, oh have pity on me! Oh, pity me! Let me not perish now, in the blossoming of my Paradisal Hope! Give me to live yet—a little longer: I am the one who prays for life—I, who just a while ago demanded nothing but to die!—what does the Count say?

                    Enter Baldazzar.

      Baldazzar. That knowing no cause of quarrel or feud between the Earl Politian and himself, he declines your challenge.

      Pol. What did you say? What answer was it you brought me, good Baldazzar? With what sweet fragrance the breeze comes, laden from those bowers!—No mortal eyes have seen a day more beautiful, or more worthy of Italy!—What did the Count say?

      Bal. That he, Castiglione, is unaware of any feud or cause of quarrel between your lordship and himself, and cannot accept the challenge.

      Pol. This is very true—all of it is very true. When did you, sir, when did you now, Baldazzar, in the cold harsh Britain we left so recently, see a heaven as calm as this—so utterly free from the evil taint of clouds?—and he said what?

      Bal. No more, my lord, than I have told you: The Count Castiglione will not fight, having no cause for quarrel.

      Pol. This is true—all very true. You are my friend, Baldazzar, and I have not forgotten it—you will do me a service; please go back and tell this man that I, the Earl of Leicester, consider him a villain—just this much, I pray you, say to the Count—it is only fair that he should have cause for quarrel.

      Bal. My lord!—my friend!—

      Pol. (aside.) It’s him!—is he coming himself? (aloud) You reason well. I know what you would say—not to send the message—very well!—I will think about it—I will not send it. Now please leave me—someone is coming with whom I have some private matters to discuss.

      Bal. I am going—to tomorrow we meet, don’t we?—at the Vatican.

      Pol. At the Vatican. (exit Bal.)

                    Enter Castiglione.

      Cas. The Earl of Leicester here!

      Pol. I am the Earl of Leicester, and you see, don’t you? that I am here.

      Cas. My lord, some strange, singular misunderstanding must have occurred: without a doubt you have been driven in the heat of anger to address some unaccountable words, in writing, to me, Castiglione; the bearer being Baldazzar, Duke of Surrey. I am aware of nothing which may have justified your actions, having given you no offense. Am I right? Was it a mistake?—undoubtedly—it happens to us all sometimes.

      Pol. Draw, villain, and stop talking!

      Cas. Ha!—draw?—and villain? Let’s go at it then, proud Earl! (draws.)

      Pol. (drawing.) Thus to the expiatory tomb, untimely sepulcher, I devote you in the name of Lalage!

      Cas. (dropping his sword and recoiling to the edge of the stage) Of Lalage! Stop—your sacred hand!—away, I say! Away—I will not fight you—I truly dare not.

      Pol. You said you would not fight me, Sir Count? Will I be thwarted thus?—now that’s great; You said you dare not? Ha!

      Cas. I dare not—dare not—hold back your hand—having that beloved name fresh on your lips, I will not fight you—I cannot—dare not.

      Pol. Now I swear by my honor, I believe you!—coward, I believe you!

      Cas. Ha!—coward!—this cannot be!

       (grips his sword and staggers towards POLITIAN, but before reaching him, he kneels at the Earl’s feet)

                             Alas! my lord, it is—it is—most true. In such a cause, I am the biggest coward. O pity me!

      Pol. (greatly softened.) Alas!—I do indeed pity you.

      Cas. And Lalage—

      Pol. Scoundrel!—get up and die!

      Cas. It doesn’t need to be this way—let me die like this. It is most fitting that in this deep humiliation I perish. For I will not raise a hand against you, Earl of Leicester. Strike home— (baring his bosom.) Here is no obstacle to your weapon—strike home. I will not fight you.

      Pol. Now, by Death and Hell! Am I not—am I not sorely—grievously tempted to take you at your word? But mark me, sir, don’t think to escape me this way. Prepare for public insult in the streets—before the eyes of the citizens. I’ll follow you like an avenging spirit, I’ll follow you even unto death. Before those you love—before all of Rome, I will taunt you, villain, I will taunt you, do you hear? with cowardice—will you not fight me? You lie! You shall! (exit.)

      Cas. Now this indeed is just! Most righteous, and most just, avenging Heaven! 

  {In the book there is a gap in numbering the notes between 12 and 29.
 —ED}

NOTE

NOTE

29. Such portions of “Politian” as are known to the public first saw the light of publicity in the “Southern Literary Messenger” for December, 1835, and January, 1836, being styled “Scenes from Politian: an unpublished drama.” These scenes were included, unaltered, in the 1845 collection of Poems, by Poe. The larger portion of the original draft subsequently became the property of the present editor, but it is not considered just to the poet’s memory to publish it. The work is a hasty and unrevised production of its author’s earlier days of literary labor; and, beyond the scenes already known, scarcely calculated to enhance his reputation. As a specimen, however, of the parts unpublished, the following fragment from the first scene of Act II. may be offered. The Duke, it should be premised, is uncle to Alessandra, and father of Castiglione her betrothed.

29. The parts of “Politian” that are known to the public were first published in the “Southern Literary Messenger” for December 1835 and January 1836, labeled as “Scenes from Politian: an unpublished drama.” These scenes were included unchanged in Poe's 1845 collection of Poems. The majority of the original draft later became the property of the current editor, but it is felt that publishing it would not be fair to the poet’s memory. The work is a rushed and unrefined piece from the author’s early days of writing, and aside from the scenes already published, it hardly adds to his reputation. However, as an example of the unpublished parts, the following fragment from the first scene of Act II may be shared. The Duke, it should be noted, is Alessandra’s uncle and the father of Castiglione, her fiancé.

      Duke. Why do you laugh?

      Castiglione. Indeed

  I hardly know myself. Stay! Was it not
  On yesterday we were speaking of the Earl?
  Of the Earl Politian? Yes! it was yesterday.
  Alessandra, you and 1, you must remember!
  We were walking in the garden.

      Duke, Perfectly.
  I do remember it-what of it-what then?

      Cas. 0 nothing-nothing at all.

      Duke. Nothing at all!
  It is most singular that you should laugh
  ‘At nothing at all!

      Cas. Most singular-singular!

      Duke. Look you, Castiglione, be so kind
  As tell me, sir, at once what ’tis you mean.
  What are you talking of?

      Cas. Was it not so?
  We differed in opinion touching him.

      Duke. Him!—Whom?

      Cas. Why, sir, the Earl Politian.

      Duke. The Earl of Leicester! Yes!—is it he you mean?
  We differed, indeed. If I now recollect
  The words you used were that the Earl you knew
  Was neither learned nor mirthful.

      Cas. Ha! ha!—now did I?

      Duke. That did you, sir, and well I knew at the time
  You were wrong, it being not the character
  Of the Earl-whom all the world allows to be
  A most hilarious man. Be not, my son,
  Too positive again.

      Cas. ’Tis singular!
  Most singular! I could not think it possible
  So little time could so much alter one!
  To say the truth about an hour ago,
  As I was walking with the Count San Ozzo,
  All arm in arm, we met this very man
  The Earl-he, with his friend Baldazzar,
  Having just arrived in Rome. Hal ha! he is altered!
  Such an account he gave me of his journey!
  ’Twould have made you die with laughter-such tales he told
  Of his caprices and his merry freaks
  Along the road-such oddity-such humor—
  Such wit-such whim-such flashes of wild merriment
  Set off too in such full relief by the grave
  Demeanor of his friend-who, to speak the truth,
  Was gravity itself—

      Duke. Did I not tell you?

      Cas. You did-and yet ’tis strange! but true as strange,
  How much I was mistaken! I always thought
  The Earl a gloomy man.

      Duke. So, so, you see! Be not too positive. Whom have we here?
  It can not be the Earl?

      Cas. The Earl! Oh, no! ’Tis not the Earl-but yet it is-and leaning
  Upon his friend Baldazzar. AM welcome, sir!

  (Enter Politian and Baldazzar.)
  My lord, a second welcome let me give you
  To Rome-his Grace the Duke of Broglio.
  Father! this is the Earl Politian, Earl
  Of Leicester in Great Britain. [Politian bows haughtily.]
      That, his friend
  Baldazzar, Duke of Surrey. The Earl has letters,
  So please you, for Your Grace.

      Duke. Hal ha! Most welcome
  To Rome and to our palace, Earl Politian!
  And you, most noble Duke! I am glad to see you!
  I knew your father well, my Lord Politian.
  Castiglione! call your cousin hither,
  And let me make the noble Earl acquainted
  With your betrothed. You come, sir, at a time
  Most seasonable. The wedding—

      Politian. Touching those letters, sir,
  Your son made mention of—your son, is he not?
  Touching those letters, sir, I wot not of them.
  If such there be, my friend Baldazzar here—
  Baldazzar! ah!—my friend Baldazzar here
  Will hand them to Your Grace. I would retire.

      Duke. Retire!—So soon?

  Came What ho! Benito! Rupert!
  His lordship’s chambers-show his lordship to them!
  His lordship is unwell.     (Enter Benito.)

      Ben. This way, my lord! (Exit, followed by Politian.)

      Duke. Retire! Unwell!

      Bal. So please you, sir. I fear me
  ’Tis as you say—his lordship is unwell.
  The damp air of the evening-the fatigue
  Of a long journey—the—indeed I had better
  Follow his lordship. He must be unwell.
  I will return anon.

      Duke. Return anon!
  Now this is very strange! Castiglione!
  This way, my son, I wish to speak with thee.
  You surely were mistaken in what you said
  Of the Earl, mirthful, indeed!—which of us said
  Politian was a melancholy man?    (Exeunt.)
      Duke. Why are you laughing?

      Castiglione. Honestly,  
  I hardly know myself. Wait! Were we not  
  talking about the Earl yesterday?  
  The Earl Politian? Yes! It was yesterday.  
  Alessandra, you and I must remember!  
  We were walking in the garden.

      Duke. Absolutely.  
  I remember it—what about it—what then?

      Cas. Oh, nothing—nothing at all.

      Duke. Nothing at all!  
  It’s quite strange that you should laugh  
  at nothing at all!

      Cas. Quite strange—strange indeed!

      Duke. Look, Castiglione, please  
  tell me right now what you mean.  
  What are you talking about?

      Cas. Was it not so?  
  We disagreed about him.

      Duke. Him—whom?

      Cas. The Earl Politian.

      Duke. The Earl of Leicester! Yes!—is that who you mean?  
  We did disagree. If I recall correctly,  
  you said that the Earl you knew  
  was neither learned nor cheerful.

      Cas. Ha! ha!—did I say that?

      Duke. You did, and I knew at the time  
  you were wrong, as that’s not the character  
  of the Earl—whom everyone agrees is  
  a very cheerful man. Don’t be, my son,  
  so sure again.

      Cas. It’s strange!  
  Quite strange! I couldn’t believe it was possible  
  for someone to change so much  
  in such a short time! To be honest, about an hour ago,  
  while I was walking with Count San Ozzo,  
  arm in arm, we met this very man,  
  the Earl—with his friend Baldazzar,  
  just having arrived in Rome. Ha! ha! he has changed!  
  He told me such stories about his journey!  
  You would’ve died laughing—his tales  
  of his antics and funny moments  
  along the way—such oddity—such humor—  
  such wit—such whimsy—such bursts of wild joy,  
  all set against the serious demeanor of his friend—  
  who, to be honest,  
  was the essence of seriousness—

      Duke. Didn’t I tell you?

      Cas. You did—and yet it’s strange! But as strange as it is,  
  I was so mistaken! I always thought  
  the Earl was a gloomy man.

      Duke. See, there you go! Don’t be too sure. Who do we have here?  
  It can’t be the Earl?

      Cas. The Earl! Oh, no! It’s not the Earl—but it is—and leaning  
  on his friend Baldazzar. Welcome, sir!

  (Enter Politian and Baldazzar.)  
  My lord, let me extend a second welcome  
  to Rome—his Grace the Duke of Broglio.  
  Father! This is the Earl Politian, Earl  
  of Leicester in Great Britain. [Politian bows haughtily.]  
      And this is his friend  
  Baldazzar, Duke of Surrey. The Earl has letters,  
  if it pleases Your Grace.

      Duke. Ha! ha! Most welcome  
  to Rome and to our palace, Earl Politian!  
  And you, most noble Duke! It’s great to see you!  
  I knew your father well, my Lord Politian.  
  Castiglione! Call your cousin here,  
  and let me introduce the noble Earl  
  to your fiancée. You’ve arrived at a very convenient time.  
  The wedding—

      Politian. About those letters your son mentioned—  
  your son, isn’t he?  
  About those letters, sir, I don’t know about them.  
  If there are any, my friend Baldazzar here—  
  Baldazzar! ah!—my friend Baldazzar, will  
  deliver them to Your Grace. I would like to take my leave.

      Duke. Take your leave—so soon?

  What ho! Benito! Rupert!  
  Show his lordship to his chambers!  
  His lordship isn’t feeling well. (Enter Benito.)

      Ben. This way, my lord! (Exit, followed by Politian.)

      Duke. Take your leave? Not feeling well!

      Bal. If it pleases you, sir, I fear  
  you are right—his lordship is unwell.  
  The damp evening air—the fatigue  
  from a long journey—indeed, I’d better  
  follow his lordship. He must be unwell.  
  I will be back soon.

      Duke. Be back soon!  
  Now this is very strange! Castiglione!  
  This way, my son, I want to speak with you.  
  You were surely mistaken in what you said  
  about the Earl, cheerful indeed!—which one of us said  
  Politian was a melancholy man? (Exeunt.)

POEMS OF YOUTH

INTRODUCTION TO POEMS—1831

LETTER TO MR. B—.

                                  “WEST POINT, 1831.
"West Point, 1831."

“Dear B......... Believing only a portion of my former volume to be worthy a second edition-that small portion I thought it as well to include in the present book as to republish by itself. I have therefore herein combined ‘Al Aaraaf’ and ‘Tamerlane’ with other poems hitherto unprinted. Nor have I hesitated to insert from the ‘Minor Poems,’ now omitted, whole lines, and even passages, to the end that being placed in a fairer light, and the trash shaken from them in which they were imbedded, they may have some chance of being seen by posterity.

“Dear B......... I believe that only a small part of my previous volume is worthy of a second edition, so I decided it was better to include that part in this book rather than publish it separately. Therefore, I have combined ‘Al Aaraaf’ and ‘Tamerlane’ with other poems that haven't been printed before. I've also included entire lines and even passages from the ‘Minor Poems,’ which are now omitted, so that they might be viewed more favorably and free from the clutter that surrounded them, giving them a better chance of being recognized by future generations.”

“It has been said that a good critique on a poem may be written by one who is no poet himself. This, according to your idea and mine of poetry, I feel to be false-the less poetical the critic, the less just the critique, and the converse. On this account, and because there are but few B-’s in the world, I would be as much ashamed of the world’s good opinion as proud of your own. Another than yourself might here observe, ‘Shakespeare is in possession of the world’s good opinion, and yet Shakespeare is the greatest of poets. It appears then that the world judge correctly, why should you be ashamed of their favorable judgment?’ The difficulty lies in the interpretation of the word ‘judgment’ or ‘opinion.’ The opinion is the world’s, truly, but it may be called theirs as a man would call a book his, having bought it; he did not write the book, but it is his; they did not originate the opinion, but it is theirs. A fool, for example, thinks Shakespeare a great poet-yet the fool has never read Shakespeare. But the fool’s neighbor, who is a step higher on the Andes of the mind, whose head (that is to say, his more exalted thought) is too far above the fool to be seen or understood, but whose feet (by which I mean his everyday actions) are sufficiently near to be discerned, and by means of which that superiority is ascertained, which but for them would never have been discovered-this neighbor asserts that Shakespeare is a great poet—the fool believes him, and it is henceforward his opinion. This neighbor’s own opinion has, in like manner, been adopted from one above him, and so, ascendingly, to a few gifted individuals who kneel around the summit, beholding, face to face, the master spirit who stands upon the pinnacle.

“It’s been said that a good critique of a poem can be written by someone who isn’t a poet. However, based on what you and I think about poetry, I believe that’s untrue—the less poetic the critic, the less valid the critique, and the opposite holds as well. For this reason, and because there are so few B-’s out there, I would feel as embarrassed by the world’s good opinion as I would feel proud of yours. Someone might point out, ‘Shakespeare has the world’s good opinion, and yet he is the greatest of poets. It seems that the world judges correctly; why should you be embarrassed by their favorable view?’ The issue lies in how we interpret the term ‘judgment’ or ‘opinion.’ The opinion does belong to the world, but it’s similar to how a person might consider a book theirs after buying it; they didn’t write the book, but it’s theirs; they didn’t originate the opinion, but it’s now theirs. For instance, a fool thinks Shakespeare is a great poet—even though the fool has never read Shakespeare. But the fool’s neighbor, who is slightly higher up the mental ladder, whose thoughts (meaning his more elevated ideas) are too far beyond the fool for him to see or grasp, but whose actions (meaning his everyday behavior) are close enough to be noticed, and through which his superiority is recognized, which wouldn’t have been discovered without them—this neighbor claims that Shakespeare is a great poet—the fool believes him, and that becomes his opinion. This neighbor’s own opinion has similarly been taken from someone even above him, and so it goes, climbing up to a select few gifted individuals who are near the top, seeing, face to face, the master spirit standing at the peak.”

“You are aware of the great barrier in the path of an American writer. He is read, if at all, in preference to the combined and established wit of the world. I say established; for it is with literature as with law or empire-an established name is an estate in tenure, or a throne in possession. Besides, one might suppose that books, like their authors, improve by travel-their having crossed the sea is, with us, so great a distinction. Our antiquaries abandon time for distance; our very fops glance from the binding to the bottom of the title-page, where the mystic characters which spell London, Paris, or Genoa, are precisely so many letters of recommendation.

"You know about the major obstacle American writers face. They're read, if at all, after the well-known and established wit from around the world. I call it established because literature is like law or empire—having a recognized name is like owning land or sitting on a throne. Plus, you might think that books, like their authors, get better with travel—just having crossed the ocean is a huge distinction for us. Our antiquarians prioritize distance over time; even our most superficial readers look from the cover to the bottom of the title page, where the iconic names that spell London, Paris, or Genoa serve as letters of recommendation."

“I mentioned just now a vulgar error as regards criticism. I think the notion that no poet can form a correct estimate of his own writings is another. I remarked before that in proportion to the poetical talent would be the justice of a critique upon poetry. Therefore a bad poet would, I grant, make a false critique, and his self-love would infallibly bias his little judgment in his favor; but a poet, who is indeed a poet, could not, I think, fail of making-a just critique; whatever should be deducted on the score of self-love might be replaced on account of his intimate acquaintance with the subject; in short, we have more instances of false criticism than of just where one’s own writings are the test, simply because we have more bad poets than good. There are, of course, many objections to what I say: Milton is a great example of the contrary; but his opinion with respect to the ‘Paradise Regained’ is by no means fairly ascertained. By what trivial circumstances men are often led to assert what they do not really believe! Perhaps an inadvertent word has descended to posterity. But, in fact, the ‘Paradise Regained’ is little, if at all, inferior to the ‘Paradise Lost,’ and is only supposed so to be because men do not like epics, whatever they may say to the contrary, and, reading those of Milton in their natural order, are too much wearied with the first to derive any pleasure from the second.

“I just mentioned a common mistake regarding criticism. I also believe that the idea that no poet can accurately assess their own work is another. I said earlier that the level of poetic talent correlates with the fairness of a critique on poetry. So, a bad poet would likely produce a flawed critique, and their ego would inevitably cloud their judgment in their favor; however, a true poet would, in my opinion, not fail to produce a fair critique. Any bias from their self-love could be balanced out by their deep understanding of the subject. In short, we see more cases of poor criticism than fair when it comes to one's own work, simply because there are more bad poets than good ones. Of course, there are many counterarguments to what I say: Milton is a prime example of the opposite; however, his take on ‘Paradise Regained’ is not conclusively determined. It’s amazing how trivial things can lead people to claim beliefs they don’t truly hold! Maybe a careless comment has survived through the ages. But in truth, ‘Paradise Regained’ is hardly, if at all, inferior to ‘Paradise Lost,’ and is only considered so because people generally don’t enjoy epics, no matter what they say, and after reading Milton’s works in order, they feel too fatigued from the first to enjoy the second.”

“I dare say Milton preferred ‘Comus’ to either-. if so-justly.

“I would say Milton preferred ‘Comus’ to either one—if that's the case—rightly so.”

“As I am speaking of poetry, it will not be amiss to touch slightly upon the most singular heresy in its modern history-the heresy of what is called, very foolishly, the Lake School. Some years ago I might have been induced, by an occasion like the present, to attempt a formal refutation of their doctrine; at present it would be a work of supererogation. The wise must bow to the wisdom of such men as Coleridge and Southey, but, being wise, have laughed at poetical theories so prosaically exemplifled.

“As I talk about poetry, it’s worth briefly mentioning the most peculiar heresy in its modern history—the heresy known quite foolishly as the Lake School. A few years ago, an occasion like this might have prompted me to formally refute their ideas; nowadays, that would be unnecessary. The wise should respect the insight of great writers like Coleridge and Southey, but being wise, they’ve found humor in the rather mundane application of poetic theories.”

“Aristotle, with singular assurance, has declared poetry the most philosophical of all writings*-but it required a Wordsworth to pronounce it the most metaphysical. He seems to think that the end of poetry is, or should be, instruction; yet it is a truism that the end of our existence is happiness; if so, the end of every separate part of our existence, everything connected with our existence, should be still happiness. Therefore the end of instruction should be happiness; and happiness is another name for pleasure;-therefore the end of instruction should be pleasure: yet we see the above-mentioned opinion implies precisely the reverse.

“Aristotle confidently claimed that poetry is the most philosophical of all writings*-but it took a Wordsworth to say it’s the most metaphysical. He seems to believe that the purpose of poetry is, or should be, to teach; yet it’s obvious that the ultimate goal of our lives is happiness. If that's the case, then the purpose of every part of our lives, everything related to our existence, should also be happiness. So, the purpose of teaching should be happiness; and happiness is basically another way to say pleasure. Therefore, the aim of teaching should be pleasure; yet, we observe that the previously mentioned opinion suggests exactly the opposite.”

“To proceed: ceteris paribus, he who pleases is of more importance to his fellow-men than he who instructs, since utility is happiness, and pleasure is the end already obtained which instruction is merely the means of obtaining.

“To proceed: ceteris paribus, a person who brings joy is more valuable to others than someone who teaches, because usefulness equals happiness, and pleasure is the goal that instruction simply helps achieve.”

“I see no reason, then, why our metaphysical poets should plume themselves so much on the utility of their works, unless indeed they refer to instruction with eternity in view; in which case, sincere respect for their piety would not allow me to express my contempt for their judgment; contempt which it would be difficult to conceal, since their writings are professedly to be understood by the few, and it is the many who stand in need of salvation. In such case I should no doubt be tempted to think of the devil in ‘Melmoth.’ who labors indefatigably, through three octavo volumes, to accomplish the destruction of one or two souls, while any common devil would have demolished one or two thousand.

“I see no reason, then, why our metaphysical poets should take so much pride in the usefulness of their work unless they mean to provide guidance with eternity in mind; in that case, genuine respect for their devotion wouldn’t let me express my disdain for their judgment. That disdain would be hard to hide since their writings are meant to be understood by just a few people, while it's the many who need salvation. In that scenario, I’d probably be reminded of the devil in ‘Melmoth,’ who works tirelessly for three volumes to ruin one or two souls, while any ordinary devil could have taken down a couple of thousand.”

“Against the subtleties which would make poetry a study-not a passion-it
becomes the metaphysician to reason-but the poet to protest.
Yet Wordsworth and Coleridge are men in years; the one imbued in
contemplation from his childhood; the other a giant in intellect and
learning. The diffidence, then, with which I venture to dispute their
authority would be overwhelming did I not feel, from the bottom of my
heart, that learning has little to do with the imagination-intellect
with the passions-or age with poetry.

     “‘Trifles, like straws, upon the surface flow;
     He who would search for pearls must dive below,’
“Against the subtleties that turn poetry into a study rather than a passion, it’s the role of the philosopher to reason but the poet to protest. Wordsworth and Coleridge are both older men; one deeply engaged in contemplation since childhood, the other a giant in intellect and knowledge. The hesitation I feel in challenging their authority would be overwhelming if I didn’t truly believe that learning has little to do with imagination, intellect with emotions, or age with poetry.

     ‘Trifles, like straws, upon the surface flow;  
     He who would search for pearls must dive below,’  

are lines which have done much mischief. As regards the greater truths, men oftener err by seeking them at the bottom than at the top; Truth lies in the huge abysses where wisdom is sought-not in the palpable palaces where she is found. The ancients were not always right in hiding—the goddess in a well; witness the light which Bacon has thrown upon philosophy; witness the principles of our divine faith—that moral mechanism by which the simplicity of a child may overbalance the wisdom of a man.

are lines that have caused a lot of damage. When it comes to deeper truths, people often make mistakes by searching for them at the bottom instead of at the top; Truth resides in the vast depths where wisdom is pursued—not in the obvious places where it's found. The ancients weren't always correct in concealing the goddess in a well; just look at the insight that Bacon has provided regarding philosophy; consider the principles of our divine faith—that moral mechanism through which the simplicity of a child can outweigh the wisdom of an adult.

“We see an instance of Coleridge’s liability to err, in his ‘Biographia Literaria’—professedly his literary life and opinions, but, in fact, a treatise de omni scibili et quibusdam aliis. He goes wrong by reason of his very profundity, and of his error we have a natural type in the contemplation of a star. He who regards it directly and intensely sees, it is true, the star, but it is the star without a ray-while he who surveys it less inquisitively is conscious of all for which the star is useful to us below-its brilliancy and its beauty.

“We see an example of Coleridge’s tendency to make mistakes in his ‘Biographia Literaria’—which claims to be his literary life and opinions but is really a discussion about everything knowable and some other things. He goes astray because of his own depth, and we can understand his mistake through the act of looking at a star. Someone who looks directly and intensely at it sees, true enough, the star, but it’s the star without any light—while someone who looks at it less intensely is aware of everything the star provides us down here—its brightness and its beauty.”

“As to Wordsworth, I have no faith in him. That he had in youth the feelings of a poet I believe-for there are glimpses of extreme delicacy in his writings-(and delicacy is the poet’s own kingdom-his El Dorado)-but they have the appearance of a better day recollected; and glimpses, at best, are little evidence of present poetic fire; we know that a few straggling flowers spring up daily in the crevices of the glacier.

“As for Wordsworth, I don’t have any faith in him. I believe he had the feelings of a poet in his youth—there are hints of great sensitivity in his writings—and sensitivity is the poet’s realm, his El Dorado)—but they seem to be just memories of a better time; and at best, those hints are poor evidence of current poetic passion; we know that a few stray flowers pop up daily in the cracks of the glacier.

“He was to blame in wearing away his youth in contemplation with the end of poetizing in his manhood. With the increase of his judgment the light which should make it apparent has faded away. His judgment consequently is too correct. This may not be understood-but the old Goths of Germany would have understood it, who used to debate matters of importance to their State twice, once when drunk, and once when sober-sober that they might not be deficient in formality—drunk lest they should be destitute of vigor.

He was at fault for wasting his youth in thought that ended in his adulthood as a poet. As his judgment improved, the clarity that should have illuminated things faded away. As a result, his judgment is now too precise. This might be hard to grasp—but the ancient Goths of Germany would have understood it. They would discuss important matters for their State twice: once when drunk and once when sober—sober to maintain formalities, and drunk to ensure they had enough energy.

“The long wordy discussions by which he tries to reason us into admiration of his poetry, speak very little in his favor: they are full of such assertions as this (I have opened one of his volumes at random)—‘Of genius the only proof is the act of doing well what is worthy to be done, and what was never done before;’-indeed? then it follows that in doing what is unworthy to be done, or what has been done before, no genius can be evinced; yet the picking of pockets is an unworthy act, pockets have been picked time immemorial, and Barrington, the pickpocket, in point of genius, would have thought hard of a comparison with William Wordsworth, the poet.

“The long, rambling discussions he uses to persuade us to admire his poetry don’t do him any favors: they’re full of statements like this one (I just opened one of his volumes randomly)—‘The only proof of genius is doing well what deserves to be done, and what has never been done before;’—really? So that means if you’re doing something unworthy or something that’s been done before, you can’t show any genius; but picking pockets is definitely unworthy, and that’s been done forever, and Barrington, the pickpocket, would have found it difficult to compare himself to William Wordsworth, the poet, in terms of genius.”

“Again, in estimating the merit of certain poems, whether they be Ossian’s or Macpherson’s can surely be of little consequence, yet, in order to prove their worthlessness, Mr. W. has expended many pages in the controversy. Tantaene animis? Can great minds descend to such absurdity? But worse still: that he may bear down every argument in favor of these poems, he triumphantly drags forward a passage, in his abomination with which he expects the reader to sympathize. It is the beginning of the epic poem ‘Temora.’ ‘The blue waves of Ullin roll in light; the green hills are covered with day; trees shake their dusty heads in the breeze.’ And this this gorgeous, yet simple imagery, where all is alive and panting with immortality-this, William Wordsworth, the author of ‘Peter Bell,’ has selected for his contempt. We shall see what better he, in his own person, has to offer. Imprimis:

“Once again, when judging the value of certain poems, whether they're by Ossian or Macpherson, it really doesn't matter, but to prove they're worthless, Mr. W. has wasted many pages arguing the point. Tantaene animis? Can great minds really sink to such nonsense? But even worse: to counter every argument supporting these poems, he proudly presents a passage that he expects the reader to loathe. It’s the start of the epic poem ‘Temora.’ ‘The blue waves of Ullin roll in light; the green hills are bathed in daylight; trees shake their dusty heads in the breeze.’ And this beautiful yet simple imagery, where everything is vibrant and full of life—this, William Wordsworth, the author of ‘Peter Bell,’ has selected to mock. We’ll see what better he has to offer himself. First:

     “‘And now she’s at the pony’s tail,
     And now she’s at the pony’s head,
     On that side now, and now on this;
     And, almost stifled with her bliss,

     A few sad tears does Betty shed....
     She pats the pony, where or when
     She knows not.... happy Betty Foy!
     Oh, Johnny, never mind the doctor!’
     “‘And now she’s by the pony’s tail,
     And now she’s by the pony’s head,
     Over there now, and now over here;
     And, nearly overwhelmed with joy,

     A few sad tears fall from Betty....
     She strokes the pony, wherever or whenever
     She doesn't know.... happy Betty Foy!
     Oh, Johnny, don’t worry about the doctor!’

Secondly:

Secondly:

     “‘The dew was falling fast, the-stars began to blink;
     I heard a voice: it said-“Drink, pretty creature, drink!”
      And, looking o’er the hedge, be-fore me I espied
     A snow-white mountain lamb, with a-maiden at its side.
     No other sheep was near,—the lamb was all alone,
     And by a slender cord was-tether’d to a stone.’
     “The dew was falling quickly, the stars started to twinkle;  
     I heard a voice: it said, ‘Drink, lovely creature, drink!’  
     And, looking over the hedge, I spotted  
     A pure white mountain lamb, with a girl beside it.  
     No other sheep was around—the lamb was all alone,  
     And by a thin cord was tied to a stone.”

“Now, we have no doubt this is all true: we will believe it, indeed we will, Mr. W. Is it sympathy for the sheep you wish to excite? I love a sheep from the bottom of my heart.

“Now, we have no doubt this is all true: we will believe it, truly we will, Mr. W. Is it sympathy for the sheep you want to stir up? I love a sheep with all my heart.”

“But there are occasions, dear B-, there are occasions when even Wordsworth is reasonable. Even Stamboul, it is said, shall have an end, and the most unlucky blunders must come to a conclusion. Here is an extract from his preface:-

“But there are times, dear B-, there are times when even Wordsworth makes sense. Even Stamboul, they say, will eventually come to an end, and the most unfortunate mistakes have to wrap up someday. Here is a quote from his preface:-

“‘Those who have been accustomed to the phraseology of modem writers, if they persist in reading this book to a conclusion (impossible!) will, no doubt, have to struggle with feelings of awkwardness; (ha! ha! ha!) they will look round for poetry (ha! ha! ha! ha!), and will be induced to inquire by what species of courtesy these attempts have been permitted to assume that title.’ Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!

“‘Those who are used to the language of modern writers, if they keep reading this book to the end (impossible!) will, undoubtedly, face some awkwardness; (ha! ha! ha!) they will look for poetry (ha! ha! ha! ha!), and will be led to wonder what kind of courtesy has allowed these attempts to take that title.’ Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!”

“Yet, let not Mr. W. despair; he has given immortality to a wagon, and the bee Sophocles has transmitted to eternity a sore toe, and dignified a tragedy with a chorus of turkeys.

“Yet, let not Mr. W. lose hope; he has given a wagon everlasting life, and the bee Sophocles has turned a sore toe into something eternal, dignifying a tragedy with a chorus of turkeys.

“Of Coleridge, I can not speak but with reverence. His towering intellect! his gigantic power! To use an author quoted by himself, ‘Tai trouvé souvent que la plupart des sectes ont raison dans une bonne partie de ce qu’elles avancent, mais non pas en ce qu’elles nient,’ and to employ his own language, he has imprisoned his own conceptions by the barrier he has erected against those of others. It is lamentable to think that such a mind should be buried in metaphysics, and, like the Nyctanthes, waste its perfume upon the night alone. In reading that man’s poetry, I tremble like one who stands upon a volcano, conscious from the very darkness bursting from the crater, of the fire and the light that are weltering below.

"Coleridge is someone I can only discuss with deep respect. His incredible intellect! His immense power! To quote an author he himself cited, ‘I have often found that most sects are right in a good part of what they assert, but not in what they deny,’ and to use his own words, he has confined his own ideas by the wall he's built against those of others. It's sad to think that such a brilliant mind is lost in metaphysics, like the Nyctanthes, wasting its fragrance in the darkness. When I read his poetry, I feel like someone standing on a volcano, aware from the darkness erupting from the crater of the fire and light lying beneath."

“What is poetry?—Poetry! that Proteus-like idea, with as many appellations as the nine-titled Corcyra! ‘Give me,’ I demanded of a scholar some time ago, ‘give me a definition of poetry.’ ‘Trèsvolontiers;’ and he proceeded to his library, brought me a Dr. Johnson, and overwhelmed me with a definition. Shade of the immortal Shakespeare! I imagine to myself the scowl of your spiritual eye upon the profanity of that scurrilous Ursa Major. Think of poetry, dear B-, think of poetry, and then think of Dr. Samuel Johnson! Think of all that is airy and fairy-like, and then of all that is hideous and unwieldy; think of his huge bulk, the Elephant! and then-and then think of the ‘Tempest’—the ‘Midsummer-Night’s Dream’—Prospero Oberon—and Titania!

“What is poetry?—Poetry! That ever-changing concept, with as many names as the nine-titled Corcyra! ‘Give me,’ I asked a scholar some time ago, ‘give me a definition of poetry.’ ‘Sure thing;’ he said and went to his library, came back with a Dr. Johnson book, and overwhelmed me with a definition. Oh, shade of the immortal Shakespeare! I can picture the disapproval in your spiritual gaze at the ridiculousness of that scurrilous Ursa Major. Think of poetry, dear B-, think of poetry, and then think of Dr. Samuel Johnson! Consider all that is light and magical, and then all that is ugly and clumsy; think of his massive frame, the Elephant! And then—and then think of the ‘Tempest’—the ‘Midsummer Night’s Dream’—Prospero, Oberon—and Titania!

“A poem, in my opinion, is opposed to a work of science by having, for its immediate object, pleasure, not truth; to romance, by having, for its object, an indefinite instead of a definite pleasure, being a poem only so far as this object is attained; romance presenting perceptible images with definite, poetry with indefinite sensations, to which end music is an essential, since the comprehension of sweet sound is our most indefinite conception. Music, when combined with a pleasurable idea, is poetry; music, without the idea, is simply music; the idea, wi thout the music, is prose, from its very definitiveness.

A poem, I believe, is different from a scientific work because its main goal is pleasure, not truth; it's different from romance because it aims for an indefinite pleasure rather than a definite one, being a poem only as long as that goal is met. Romance presents clear images with definite feelings, while poetry gives us vague sensations, and music is key to this since understanding sweet sounds is our most vague concept. When music is combined with a pleasurable idea, it becomes poetry; music on its own is just music, and an idea without music is prose because it’s too clear.

“What was meant by the invective against him who had no music in his soul?

"What did the insult against someone who had no music in their soul really mean?"

“To sum up this long rigmarole, I have, dear B—, what you, no doubt, perceive, for the metaphysical poets as poets, the most sovereign contempt. That they have followers proves nothing-

“To sum up this long discussion, I have, dear B—, what you probably see, for the metaphysical poets as poets, the utmost contempt. The fact that they have followers means nothing—

     “‘No Indian prince has to his palace
     More followers than a thief to the gallows.
     “‘No Indian prince has more followers to his palace than a thief has to the gallows.

SONNET—TO SCIENCE

     Science! true daughter of Old Time thou art!
         Who alterest all things with thy peering eyes.
     Why preyest thou thus upon the poet’s heart,
         Vulture, whose wings are dull realities?
     How should he love thee? or how deem thee wise,
         Who wouldst not leave him in his wandering
     To seek for treasure in the jewelled skies
         Albeit he soared with an undaunted wing?
     Hast thou not dragged Diana from her car?
         And driven the Hamadryad from the wood
     To seek a shelter in some happier star?
         Hast thous not torn the Naiad from her flood,
     The Elfin from the green grass, and from me
         The summer dream beneath the tamarind tree?
     Science! true daughter of Old Time, you are!
         You change everything with your probing gaze.
     Why do you prey on the poet’s heart like this,
         Vulture, whose wings are dull realities?
     How can he love you? Or see you as wise,
         If you won’t let him wander
     To look for treasure in the jeweled skies,
         Even if he soared with a fearless wing?
     Have you not pulled Diana from her chariot?
         And driven the Hamadryad from the woods
     To find shelter in some happier star?
         Have you not ripped the Naiad from her stream,
     The Elfin from the green grass, and from me
         The summer dream beneath the tamarind tree?

AL AARAAF (*)

     PART I.

          O! nothing earthly save the ray
          (Thrown back from flowers) of Beauty’s eye,
          As in those gardens where the day
          Springs from the gems of Circassy—
          O! nothing earthly save the thrill
          Of melody in woodland rill—
          Or (music of the passion-hearted)
          Joy’s voice so peacefully departed
          That like the murmur in the shell,
          Its echo dwelleth and will dwell—
          Oh, nothing of the dross of ours—
          Yet all the beauty—all the flowers
          That list our Love, and deck our bowers—
          Adorn yon world afar, afar—
          The wandering star.

             ’Twas a sweet time for Nesace—for there
          Her world lay lolling on the golden air,
          Near four bright suns—a temporary rest—
          An oasis in desert of the blest.

     * A star was discovered by Tycho Brahe which appeared
     suddenly in the heavens—attained, in a few days, a
     brilliancy surpassing that of Jupiter—then as suddenly
     disappeared, and has never been seen since.

          Away—away—‘mid seas of rays that roll
          Empyrean splendor o’er th’ unchained soul—
          The soul that scarce (the billows are so dense)
          Can struggle to its destin’d eminence—
          To distant spheres, from time to time, she rode,
          And late to ours, the favour’d one of God—
          But, now, the ruler of an anchor’d realm,
          She throws aside the sceptre—leaves the helm,
          And, amid incense and high spiritual hymns,
          Laves in quadruple light her angel limbs.

              Now happiest, loveliest in yon lovely Earth,
          Whence sprang the “Idea of Beauty” into birth,
          (Falling in wreaths thro’ many a startled star,
          Like woman’s hair ‘mid pearls, until, afar,
          It lit on hills Achaian, and there dwelt)
          She look’d into Infinity—and knelt.
          Rich clouds, for canopies, about her curled—
          Fit emblems of the model of her world—
          Seen but in beauty—not impeding sight
          Of other beauty glittering thro’ the light—
          A wreath that twined each starry form around,
          And all the opal’d air in color bound.

              All hurriedly she knelt upon a bed
          Of flowers:  of lilies such as rear’d the head
          *On the fair Capo Deucato, and sprang
          So eagerly around about to hang
          Upon the flying footsteps of—deep pride—
          **Of her who lov’d a mortal—and so died.
          The Sephalica, budding with young bees,
          Uprear’d its purple stem around her knees:

          * On Santa Maura—olim Deucadia.

          **And gemmy flower, of Trebizond misnam’d—
          Inmate of highest stars, where erst it sham’d
          All other loveliness: its honied dew
          (The fabled nectar that the heathen knew)
          Deliriously sweet, was dropp’d from Heaven,
          And fell on gardens of the unforgiven
          In Trebizond—and on a sunny flower
          So like its own above that, to this hour,
          It still remaineth, torturing the bee
          With madness, and unwonted reverie:
          In Heaven, and all its environs, the leaf
          And blossom of the fairy plant, in grief
          Disconsolate linger—grief that hangs her head,
          Repenting follies that full long have fled,
          Heaving her white breast to the balmy air,
          Like guilty beauty, chasten’d, and more fair:
          Nyctanthes too, as sacred as the light
          She fears to perfume, perfuming the night:
          **And Clytia pondering between many a sun,
          While pettish tears adown her petals run:
          ***And that aspiring flower that sprang on Earth—
          And died, ere scarce exalted into birth,
          Bursting its odorous heart in spirit to wing
          Its way to Heaven, from garden of a king:

     * This flower is much noticed by Lewenhoeck and Tournefort.
     The bee, feeding upon its blossom, becomes intoxicated.

     ** Clytia—The Chrysanthemum Peruvianum, or, to employ a
     better-known term, the turnsol—which continually turns
     towards the sun, covers itself, like Peru, the country from
     which it comes, with dewy clouds which cool and refresh its
     flowers during the most violent heat of the day.—B. de St.
     Pierre.

     *** There is cultivated in the king’s garden at Paris, a
     species of serpentine aloes without prickles, whose large
     and beautiful flower exhales a strong odour of the vanilla,
     during the time of its expansion, which is very short. It
     does not blow till towards the month of July—you then
     perceive it gradually open its petals—expand them—fade
     and die.—St. Pierre.

     *And Valisnerian lotus thither flown
     From struggling with the waters of the Rhone:
     **And thy most lovely purple perfume, Zante!
     Isola d’oro!—Fior di Levante!
     ***And the Nelumbo bud that floats for ever
     With Indian Cupid down the holy river—
     Fair flowers, and fairy! to whose care is given
     ****To bear the Goddess’ song, in odors, up to Heaven:

        “Spirit! that dwellest where,
              In the deep sky,
          The terrible and fair,
              In beauty vie!
          Beyond the line of blue—
              The boundary of the star
          Which turneth at the view
              Of thy barrier and thy bar—
          Of the barrier overgone
             By the comets who were cast
          From their pride, and from their throne
             To be drudges till the last—
          To be carriers of fire
             (The red fire of their heart)
          With speed that may not tire
             And with pain that shall not part—

     * There is found, in the Rhone, a beautiful lily of the
     Valisnerian kind. Its stem will stretch to the length of
     three or four feet—thus preserving its head above water
     in the swellings of the river.

     ** The Hyacinth.

     *** It is a fiction of the Indians, that Cupid was first
     seen floating in one of these down the river Ganges—and
     that he still loves the cradle of his childhood.

    **** And golden vials full of odors which are the prayers of the saints.
   —Rev. St. John.

          Who livest—that we know—
              In Eternity—we feel—
          But the shadow of whose brow
              What spirit shall reveal?
          Tho’ the beings whom thy Nesace,
              Thy messenger hath known
          Have dream’d for thy Infinity
              *A model of their own—
          Thy will is done, Oh, God!
              The star hath ridden high
          Thro’ many a tempest, but she rode
              Beneath thy burning eye;
          And here, in thought, to thee—
              In thought that can alone
          Ascend thy empire and so be
              A partner of thy throne—

     * The Humanitarians held that God was to be understood as
     having a really human form.—Vide Clarke’s Sermons, vol.
     1, page 26, fol. edit.

     The drift of Milton’s argument, leads him to employ language
     which would appear, at first sight, to verge upon their
     doctrine;  but it will be seen immediately, that he guards
     himself against the charge of having adopted one of the most
     ignorant errors of the dark ages of the church.—Dr.
     Sumner’s Notes on Milton’s Christian Doctrine.

     This opinion, in spite of many testimonies to the contrary,
     could never have been very general. Andeus, a Syrian of
     Mesopotamia, was condemned for the opinion, as heretical. He
     lived in the beginning of the fourth century. His disciples
     were called Anthropmorphites.—Vide Du Pin.

     Among Milton’s poems are these lines:—
                Dicite sacrorum præsides nemorum Deæ, &c.
                Quis ille primus cujus ex imagine
                Natura solers finxit humanum genus?
                Eternus, incorruptus, æquævus polo,
                Unusque et universus exemplar Dei.—And afterwards,
                Non cui profundum Cæcitas lumen dedit
                Dircæus augur vidit hunc alto sinu, &c.

          *By winged Fantasy,
              My embassy is given,
          Till secrecy shall knowledge be
              In the environs of Heaven.”

          She ceas’d—and buried then her burning cheek
          Abash’d, amid the lilies there, to seek
          A shelter from the fervour of His eye;
          For the stars trembled at the Deity.
          She stirr’d not—breath’d not—for a voice was there
          How solemnly pervading the calm air!
          A sound of silence on the startled ear
          Which dreamy poets name “the music of the sphere.”
           Ours is a world of words:  Quiet we call
          “Silence”—which is the merest word of all.
          All Nature speaks, and ev’n ideal things
          Flap shadowy sounds from visionary wings—
          But ah! not so when, thus, in realms on high
          The eternal voice of God is passing by,
          And the red winds are withering in the sky!

          ** “What tho’ in worlds which sightless cycles run,
          Link’d to a little system, and one sun—
          Where all my love is folly and the crowd
          Still think my terrors but the thunder cloud,
          The storm, the earthquake, and the ocean-wrath—
          (Ah! will they cross me in my angrier path?)
          What tho’ in worlds which own a single sun
          The sands of Time grow dimmer as they run,

     * Seltsamen Tochter Jovis
       Seinem Schosskinde
       Der Phantasie.—Göethe.

    ** Sightless—too small to be seen—Legge.

          Yet thine is my resplendency, so given
          To bear my secrets thro’ the upper Heaven.
          Leave tenantless thy crystal home, and fly,
          With all thy train, athwart the moony sky—
          *Apart—like fire-flies in Sicilian night,
          And wing to other worlds another light!
          Divulge the secrets of thy embassy
          To the proud orbs that twinkle—and so be
          To ev’ry heart a barrier and a ban
          Lest the stars totter in the guilt of man!”

              Up rose the maiden in the yellow night,
          The single-mooned eve!—on Earth we plight
          Our faith to one love—and one moon adore—
          The birth-place of young Beauty had no more.
          As sprang that yellow star from downy hours
          Up rose the maiden from her shrine of flowers,
          And bent o’er sheeny mountain and dim plain
          **Her way—but left not yet her Therasæan reign.

     * I have often noticed a peculiar movement of the fire-flies;
    —they will collect in a body and fly off, from a common
     centre, into innumerable radii.

     ** Therasæa, or Therasea, the island mentioned by Seneca,
     which, in a moment, arose from the sea to the eyes of
     astonished mariners.
     PART I.

          Oh! nothing earthly except the light
          (Reflected from flowers) of Beauty’s eye,
          Like in those gardens where the day
          Rises from the gems of Circassy—
          Oh! nothing earthly except the thrill
          Of melody in woodland streams—
          Or (music of the passionate heart)
          Joy’s voice so peacefully departed
          That like the whisper in the shell,
          Its echo lingers and will linger—
          Oh, nothing of our dross—
          Yet all the beauty—all the flowers
          That attend our Love and decorate our homes—
          Adorn that world afar, afar—
          The wandering star.

             It was a sweet time for Nesace—for there
          Her world lay lounging in the golden air,
          Near four bright suns—a temporary rest—
          An oasis in the desert of the blessed.

     * A star was discovered by Tycho Brahe that appeared
     suddenly in the sky—achieving, in a few days,
     a brightness surpassing that of Jupiter—
     then as suddenly disappeared and has never been seen since.

          Away—away—amid seas of rays that spread
          Empyrean splendor over the unchained soul—
          The soul that hardly (the waves are so dense)
          Can struggle to its destined heights—
          To distant spheres, from time to time, she rode,
          And lately to ours, the favored one of God—
          But now, the ruler of an anchored realm,
          She sets aside the scepter—leaves the helm,
          And, amid incense and high spiritual hymns,
          Bathes in quadruple light her angel limbs.

              Now happiest, loveliest in that lovely Earth,
          Where the “Idea of Beauty” first came to life,
          (Falling in wreaths through many a startled star,
          Like a woman’s hair among pearls, until, afar,
          It lit on Achaian hills, and there dwelt)
          She looked into Infinity—and knelt.
          Rich clouds, as canopies, curled around her—
          Perfect symbols of the model of her world—
          Seen only in beauty—not blocking the sight
          Of other beauty shimmering through the light—
          A wreath that twined each starry form around,
          And all the opaled air in color bound.

              All hurriedly she knelt upon a bed
          Of flowers: of lilies such as raised their heads
          *On the fair Capo Deucato, and sprang
          So eagerly to hang
          Upon the flying footsteps of—deep pride—
          **Of her who loved a mortal—and so died.
          The Sephalica, budding with young bees,
          Raised its purple stem around her knees:

          * On Santa Maura—formerly Deucadia.

          **And gem-like flower, of Trebizond misnamed—
          Inhabitant of highest stars, where it once shone
          All other loveliness: its honeyed dew
          (The fabled nectar that the heathen knew)
          Delightfully sweet, was dropped from Heaven,
          And fell on gardens of the unforgiven
          In Trebizond—and on a sunny flower
          So like its own above that, to this hour,
          It still remains, torturing the bee
          With madness, and unusual reverie:
          In Heaven, and all its surroundings, the leaf
          And blossom of the fairy plant, in grief
          Disconsolately linger—grief that hangs her head,
          Regretting follies that long have fled,
          Heaving her white breast to the fragrant air,
          Like guilty beauty, chastened, and more fair:
          Nyctanthes too, as sacred as the light
          She fears to perfume, perfuming the night:
          **And Clytia pondering between many a sun,
          While petulant tears fall down her petals:
          ***And that aspiring flower that sprang on Earth—
          And died, barely exalted into life,
          Bursting its fragrant heart in spirit to wing
          Its way to Heaven, from the garden of a king:

     * This flower is much noted by Lewenhoeck and Tournefort.
     The bee, feeding upon its blossom, becomes intoxicated.

     ** Clytia—The Chrysanthemum Peruvianum, or, to use a
     better-known term, the turnsol—which continually turns
     towards the sun, covers itself, like Peru, the country from
     which it comes, with dewy clouds that cool and refresh its
     flowers during the most violent heat of the day.—B. de St.
     Pierre.

     *** There is cultivated in the king’s garden in Paris, a
     species of serpentine aloes without prickles, whose large
     and beautiful flower exhales a strong scent of vanilla,
     during its short blooming time. It doesn’t bloom until
     July—you then see it gradually open its petals—expand them—fade
     and die.—St. Pierre.

     *And Valisnerian lotus flown there
     From struggling with the waters of the Rhone:
     **And your most lovely purple perfume, Zante!
     Isola d’oro!—Flower of the East!
     ***And the Nelumbo bud that floats forever
     With Indian Cupid down the holy river—
     Fair flowers, and fairy! to whose care is given
     ****To carry the Goddess’ song, in scents, up to Heaven:

        “Spirit! that dwellest where,
              In the deep sky,
          The terrible and fair,
              In beauty vie!
          Beyond the line of blue—
              The boundary of the star
          Which turns at the view
              Of your barrier and your bar—
          Of the barrier crossed
             By the comets who were cast
          From their pride, and from their throne
             To be drudges till the last—
          To be carriers of fire
             (The red fire of their heart)
          With speed that may not tire
             And with pain that shall not part—

     * There is found, in the Rhone, a beautiful lily of the
     Valisnerian kind. Its stem can stretch to three or four feet—
     thus keeping its head above water in the swells of the river.

     ** The Hyacinth.

     *** It is an Indian myth that Cupid was first seen floating in one of these down the Ganges—and
     that he still loves the cradle of his childhood.

    **** And golden vials full of scents which are the prayers of the saints.
   —Rev. St. John.

          Who lives—that we know—
              In Eternity—we feel—
          But the shadow of whose brow
              What spirit shall reveal?
          Though the beings whom your Nesace,
              Your messenger has known
          Have dreamed for your Infinity
              *A model of their own—
          Your will is done, Oh, God!
              The star has ridden high
          Through many a storm, but she rode
              Beneath your burning eye;
          And here, in thought, to you—
              In thought that can alone
          Ascend your empire and be
              A partner of your throne—

     * The Humanitarians believed that God was to be understood as
     having an actual human form.—Vide Clarke’s Sermons, vol.
     1, page 26, fol. edit.

     The drift of Milton’s argument, leads him to use language
     which might seem, at first, to verge on their
     doctrine; but it will be seen immediately, that he guards
     himself against the charge of having adopted one of the most
     ignorant errors of the dark ages of the church.—Dr.
     Sumner’s Notes on Milton’s Christian Doctrine.

     This idea, despite many testimonies to the contrary,
     could never have been very common. Andeus, a Syrian of
     Mesopotamia, was condemned for this belief as heretical. He
     lived at the beginning of the fourth century. His followers were
     called Anthropomorphites.—Vide Du Pin.

     Among Milton’s poems are these lines:—
                Say, sacred guardians of the groves,
                Who was that first from whose image
                Nature expertly fashioned the human race?
                Eternal, incorruptible, equal to the sky,
                One and universal exemplar of God.—And afterwards,
                Not to whom the depth of the abyss gave light
                The Delphic seer saw him in the deep embrace, &c.

          *By winged Fantasy,
              My mission is given,
          Until secrecy shall reveal knowledge
              In the suburbs of Heaven.”

          She ceased—and then buried her burning cheek
          Embarrassed, among the lilies there, to seek
          A shelter from the fervor of His gaze;
          For the stars trembled at the Deity.
          She did not stir—did not breathe— for a voice was there
          How solemnly penetrating the calm air!
          A sound of silence on the startled ear
          Which dreamy poets refer to as “the music of the spheres.”
           Ours is a world of words: Quiet we call
          “Silence”—which is the mere word of all.
          All Nature speaks, and even ideal things
          Flap shadowy sounds from visionary wings—
          But ah! not so when, thus, in realms high
          The eternal voice of God is passing by,
          And the red winds are withering in the sky!

          ** “What though in worlds which sightless cycles run,
          Linked to a little system, and one sun—
          Where all my love is foolishness and the crowd
          Still thinks my terrors are just a thundercloud,
          The storm, the earthquake, and the ocean’s wrath—
          (Ah! will they oppose me in my angrier path?)
          What though in worlds that have a single sun
          The sands of Time grow dimmer as they run,

     * Strange Daughter of Jupiter,
       His child
       Of Fantasy.—Gœthe.

    ** Sightless—too small to be seen—Legge.

          Yet yours is my radiance, so given
          To carry my secrets through the upper Heaven.
          Leave empty your crystal home, and fly,
          With all your retinue, across the moony sky—
          *Apart—like fireflies in Sicilian night,
          And wing to other worlds another light!
          Reveal the secrets of your mission
          To the proud orbs that twinkle—and so be
          To every heart a barrier and a ban
          Lest the stars falter in the guilt of man!”

              Up rose the maiden in the yellow night,
          The single-mooned eve!—on Earth we pledge
          Our faith to one love—and one moon we adore—
          The birthplace of young Beauty had no more.
          As that yellow star rose from downy hours
          Up rose the maiden from her shrine of flowers,
          And bent over gleaming mountain and dim plain
          **Her way—but did not yet leave her Theraséan reign.

     * I have often noticed a peculiar movement of the fireflies;
    —they will gather in a body and fly off, from a common
     center, into countless radii.

     ** Therasæa, or Therasea, the island mentioned by Seneca,
     which, in a moment, arose from the sea to the eyes of
     astonished mariners.
                         Part II.

          HIGH on a mountain of enamell’d head—
          Such as the drowsy shepherd on his bed
          Of giant pasturage lying at his ease,
          Raising his heavy eyelid, starts and sees
          With many a mutter’d “hope to be forgiven”
           What time the moon is quadrated in Heaven—
          Of rosy head, that towering far away
          Into the sunlit ether, caught the ray
          Of sunken suns at eve—at noon of night,
          While the moon danc’d with the fair stranger light—
          Uprear’d upon such height arose a pile
          Of gorgeous columns on th’ unburthen’d air,
          Flashing from Parian marble that twin smile
          Far down upon the wave that sparkled there,
          And nursled the young mountain in its lair.
          *Of molten stars their pavement, such as fall
          Thro’ the ebon air, besilvering the pall
          Of their own dissolution, while they die—
          Adorning then the dwellings of the sky.
          A dome, by linked light from Heaven let down,
          Sat gently on these columns as a crown—
          A window of one circular diamond, there,
          Look’d out above into the purple air,

     * Some star which, from the ruin’d roof Of shak’d Olympus,
     by mischance, did fall.—Milton.

          And rays from God shot down that meteor chain
          And hallow’d all the beauty twice again,
          Save when, between th’ Empyrean and that ring,
          Some eager spirit flapp’d his dusky wing.
          But on the pillars Seraph eyes have seen
          The dimness of this world:  that greyish green
          That Nature loves the best for Beauty’s grave
          Lurk’d in each cornice, round each architrave—
          And every sculptur’d cherub thereabout
          That from his marble dwelling peeréd out
          Seem’d earthly in the shadow of his niche—
          Achaian statues in a world so rich?
          *Friezes from Tadmor and Persepolis—
          From Balbec, and the stilly, clear abyss
          **Of beautiful Gomorrah!  O, the wave
          Is now upon thee—but too late to save!

          Sound loves to revel in a summer night:
          Witness the murmur of the grey twilight

     * Voltaire, in speaking of Persepolis, says, “Je connois
     bien l’admiration qu’inspirent ces ruines—mais un palais
     erigé au pied d’une chaine des rochers sterils—peut il
     être un chef d’oevure des arts!” [Voila les arguments de M.
     Voltaire.]

     ** “Oh! the wave”—Ula Degusi is the Turkish appellation;
     but, on its own shores, it is called Bahar Loth, or
     Almotanah. There were undoubtedly more than two cities
     engluphed in the “dead sea.” In the valley of Siddim were
     five—Adrah, Zeboin, Zoar, Sodom and Gomorrah. Stephen of
     Byzantium mentions eight, and Strabo thirteeen, (engulphed)
    —but the last is out of all reason.

    It is said, (Tacitus, Strabo, Josephus, Daniel of St. Saba, Nau,
Maundrell, Troilo, D’Arvieux) that after an excessive drought, the
vestiges of columns, walls, &c. are seen above the surface. At any
season, such remains may be discovered by looking down into the
transparent lake, and at such distances as would argue the existence of
many settlements in the space now usurped by the ‘Asphaltites.’

          *That stole upon the ear, in Eyraco,
          Of many a wild star-gazer long ago—
          That stealeth ever on the ear of him
          Who, musing, gazeth on the distance dim.
          And sees the darkness coming as a cloud—
          ***Is not its form—its voice—most palpable and loud?

              But what is this?—it cometh—and it brings
          A music with it—’tis the rush of wings—
          A pause—and then a sweeping, falling strain
          And Nesace is in her halls again.
          From the wild energy of wanton haste
              Her cheeks were flushing, and her lips apart;
          And zone that clung around her gentle waist
              Had burst beneath the heaving of her heart.
          Within the centre of that hall to breathe
          She paus’d and panted, Zanthe!  all beneath,
          The fairy light that kiss’d her golden hair
          And long’d to rest, yet could but sparkle there!

              ***Young flowers were whispering in melody
          To happy flowers that night—and tree to tree;
          Fountains were gushing music as they fell
          In many a star-lit grove, or moon-lit dell;
          Yet silence came upon material things—
          Fair flowers, bright waterfalls and angel wings—
          And sound alone that from the spirit sprang
          Bore burthen to the charm the maiden sang:

     * Eyraco—Chaldea.

     ** I have often thought I could distinctly hear the sound of
     the darkness as it stole over the horizon.

     *** Fairies use flowers for their charactery.—Merry Wives
     of Windsor.  [William Shakespeare]

           “’Neath blue-bell or streamer—
               Or tufted wild spray
           That keeps, from the dreamer,
               *The moonbeam away—
             Bright beings!  that ponder,
               With half closing eyes,
           On the stars which your wonder
               Hath drawn from the skies,
           Till they glance thro’ the shade, and
               Come down to your brow
           Like—eyes of the maiden
               Who calls on you now—
           Arise!  from your dreaming
               In violet bowers,
           To duty beseeming
               These star-litten hours—
           And shake from your tresses
               Encumber’d with dew
           The breath of those kisses
               That cumber them too—
           (O!  how, without you, Love!
               Could angels be blest?)
           Those kisses of true love
               That lull’d ye to rest!
           Up!—shake from your wing
               Each hindering thing:
           The dew of the night—
               It would weigh down your flight;
           And true love caresses—
               O! leave them apart!

     * In Scripture is this passage—“The sun shall not harm
     thee by day, nor the moon by night.” It is perhaps not
     generally known that the moon, in Egypt, has the effect of
     producing blindness to those who sleep with the face exposed
     to its rays, to which circumstance the passage evidently
     alludes.

          They are light on the tresses,
              But lead on the heart.

          Ligeia!  Ligeia!
              My beautiful one!
          Whose harshest idea
              Will to melody run,
          O!  is it thy will
              On the breezes to toss?
          Or, capriciously still,
              *Like the lone Albatross,
          Incumbent on night
              (As she on the air)
          To keep watch with delight
              On the harmony there?

          Ligeia!  whatever
              Thy image may be,
          No magic shall sever
              Thy music from thee.
          Thou hast bound many eyes
              In a dreamy sleep—
          But the strains still arise
              Which thy vigilance keep—
          The sound of the rain
              Which leaps down to the flower,
          And dances again
              In the rhythm of the shower—
          **The murmur that springs
              From the growing of grass

     * The Albatross is said to sleep on the wing.

     ** I met with this idea in an old English tale, which I am
     now unable to obtain and quote from memory:—“The verie
     essence and, as it were, springe-heade, and origine of all
     musiche is the verie pleasaunte sounde which the trees of
     the forest do make when they growe.”

          Are the music of things—
              But are modell’d, alas!—
          Away, then my dearest,
              O!  hie thee away
          To springs that lie clearest
              Beneath the moon-ray—
           To lone lake that smiles,
              In its dream of deep rest,
          At the many star-isles
              That enjewel its breast—
          Where wild flowers, creeping,
              Have mingled their shade,
          On its margin is sleeping
              Full many a maid—
          Some have left the cool glade, and
              * Have slept with the bee—
          Arouse them my maiden,
              On moorland and lea—
          Go!  breathe on their slumber,
              All softly in ear,
          The musical number
              They slumber’d to hear—
          For what can awaken
              An angel so soon

     * The wild bee will not sleep in the shade if there be
     moonlight. The rhyme in this verse, as in one about sixty
     lines before, has an appearance of affectation. It is,
     however, imitated from Sir W. Scott, or rather from Claud
     Halcro—in whose mouth I admired its effect:

                O!  were there an island,
                    Tho’ ever so wild
                Where woman might smile, and
                    No man be beguil’d, &c.

          Whose sleep hath been taken
              Beneath the cold moon,
          As the spell which no slumber
              Of witchery may test,
          The rythmical number
              Which lull’d him to rest?”

          Spirits in wing, and angels to the view,
          A thousand seraphs burst th’ Empyrean thro’,
          Young dreams still hovering on their drowsy flight—
          Seraphs in all but “Knowledge,” the keen light
          That fell, refracted, thro’ thy bounds, afar
          O Death!  from eye of God upon that star:
          Sweet was that error—sweeter still that death—
          Sweet was that error—ev’n with us the breath
          Of science dims the mirror of our joy—
          To them ’twere the Simoom, and would destroy—
          For what (to them) availeth it to know
          That Truth is Falsehood—or that Bliss is Woe?
          Sweet was their death—with them to die was rife
          With the last ecstacy of satiate life—
          Beyond that death no immortality—
          But sleep that pondereth and is not “to be”—
          And there—oh!  may my weary spirit dwell—
          *Apart from Heaven’s Eternity—and yet how far from Hell!

     * With the Arabians there is a medium between Heaven and
     Hell, where men suffer no punishment, but yet do not attain
     that tranquil and even happiness which they suppose to be
     characteristic of heavenly enjoyment.

            Un no rompido sueno—
            Un dia puro—allegre—libre
            Quiera—
            Libre de amor—de zelo—
            De odio—de esperanza—de rezelo.—Luis Ponce de Leon.

     Sorrow is not excluded from “Al Aaraaf,” but it is that
     sorrow which the living love to cherish for the dead, and
     which, in some minds, resembles the delirium of opium. The
     passionate excitement of Love and the buoyancy of spirit
     attendant upon intoxication are its less holy pleasures—
     the price of which, to those souls who make choice of “Al
     Aaraaf” as their residence after life, is final death and
     annihilation.

          What guilty spirit, in what shrubbery dim,
          Heard not the stirring summons of that hymn?
          But two:  they fell:  for Heaven no grace imparts
          To those who hear not for their beating hearts.
          A maiden-angel and her seraph-lover—
          O!  where (and ye may seek the wide skies over)
          Was Love, the blind, near sober Duty known?

     *Unguided Love hath fallen—‘mid “tears of perfect moan.”

          He was a goodly spirit—he who fell:
          A wanderer by moss-y-mantled well—
          A gazer on the lights that shine above—
          A dreamer in the moonbeam by his love:
          What wonder?  For each star is eye-like there,
          And looks so sweetly down on Beauty’s hair—
          And they, and ev’ry mossy spring were holy
          To his love-haunted heart and melancholy.
          The night had found (to him a night of wo)
          Upon a mountain crag, young Angelo—
          Beetling it bends athwart the solemn sky,
          And scowls on starry worlds that down beneath it lie.
          Here sate he with his love—his dark eye bent
          With eagle gaze along the firmament:
          Now turn’d it upon her—but ever then
          It trembled to the orb of EARTH again.

          “Iante, dearest, see!  how dim that ray!
          How lovely ’tis to look so far away!

     * There be tears of perfect moan
         Wept for thee in Helicon.—Milton.

          She seem’d not thus upon that autumn eve
          I left her gorgeous halls—nor mourn’d to leave.
          That eve—that eve—I should remember well—
          The sun-ray dropp’d, in Lemnos, with a spell
          On th’Arabesque carving of a gilded hall
          Wherein I sate, and on the draperied wall—
          And on my eye-lids—O the heavy light!
          How drowsily it weigh’d them into night!
          On flowers, before, and mist, and love they ran
          With Persian Saadi in his Gulistan:
          But O that light!—I slumber’d—Death, the while,
          Stole o’er my senses in that lovely isle
          So softly that no single silken hair
          Awoke that slept—or knew that it was there.

          The last spot of Earth’s orb I trod upon
          *Was a proud temple call’d the Parthenon—
          More beauty clung around her column’d wall
          **Than ev’n thy glowing bosom beats withal,
          And when old Time my wing did disenthral
          Thence sprang I—as the eagle from his tower,
          And years I left behind me in an hour.
          What time upon her airy bounds I hung
          One half the garden of her globe was flung
          Unrolling as a chart unto my view—
          Tenantless cities of the desert too!
          Ianthe, beauty crowded on me then,
          And half I wish’d to be again of men.”

          “My Angelo! and why of them to be?
          A brighter dwelling-place is here for thee—

    * It was entire in 1687—the most elevated spot in Athens.

    ** Shadowing more beauty in their airy brows
       Than have the white breasts of the Queen of Love.—Marlowe.

           And greener fields than in yon world above,
           And women’s loveliness—and passionate love.”

           “But, list, Ianthe! when the air so soft
           *Fail’d, as my pennon’d spirit leapt aloft,
           Perhaps my brain grew dizzy—but the world
           I left so late was into chaos hurl’d—
           Sprang from her station, on the winds apart,
           And roll’d, a flame, the fiery Heaven athwart.
           Methought, my sweet one, then I ceased to soar
           And fell—not swiftly as I rose before,
           But with a downward, tremulous motion thro’
           Light, brazen rays, this golden star unto!
           Nor long the measure of my falling hours,
           For nearest of all stars was thine to ours—
           Dread star! that came, amid a night of mirth,
           A red Dædalion on the timid Earth.

           “We came—and to thy Earth—but not to us
           Be given our lady’s bidding to discuss:
           We came, my love; around, above, below,
           Gay fire-fly of the night we come and go,
           Nor ask a reason save the angel-nod
           She grants to us, as granted by her God—
           But, Angelo, than thine grey Time unfurl’d
           Never his fairy wing o’er fairier world!
           Dim was its little disk, and angel eyes
           Alone could see the phantom in the skies,
           When first Al Aaraaf knew her course to be
           Headlong thitherward o’er the starry sea—
           But when its glory swell’d upon the sky,
           As glowing Beauty’s bust beneath man’s eye,

     * Pennon—for pinion.—Milton.

           We paus’d before the heritage of men,
           And thy star trembled—as doth Beauty then!”

           Thus, in discourse, the lovers whiled away
           The night that waned and waned and brought no day.
           They fell:  for Heaven to them no hope imparts
           Who hear not for the beating of their hearts.
```html
                         Part II.

          HIGH on a mountain of enameled head—
          Like the drowsy shepherd on his bed
          Of giant pastures lying at ease,
          Raising his heavy eyelid, starts and sees
          With many a muttered “hope to be forgiven”
          As the moon is crossed in Heaven—
          Of rosy head, that towers far away
          Into the sunlit sky, caught the rays
          Of sunk suns at eve—at midnight,
          While the moon danced with the fair stranger light—
          Upreared upon such heights rose a pile
          Of gorgeous columns on the unburdened air,
          Flashing from Parian marble that twin smile
          Far down upon the wave that sparkled there,
          And nurtured the young mountain in its lair.
          *Of molten stars their pavement, such as fall
          Through the dark air, besilvering the pall
          Of their own dissolution while they die—
          Adorning then the dwellings of the sky.
          A dome, by linked light from Heaven let down,
          Sat gently on these columns like a crown—
          A window of one circular diamond, there,
          Looked out above into the purple air,

     * Some star which, from the ruined roof Of shaken Olympus,
     by mischance, did fall.—Milton.

          And rays from God shot down that meteor chain
          And hallowed all the beauty twice again,
          Except when, between the Empyrean and that ring,
          Some eager spirit flapped his dusky wing.
          But on the pillars Seraph eyes have seen
          The dimness of this world: that grayish-green
          That Nature loves best for Beauty’s grave
          Lurked in each cornice, around each architrave—
          And every sculptured cherub thereabout
          That from his marble dwelling peered out
          Seemed earthly in the shadow of his niche—
          Achaian statues in a world so rich?
          *Friezes from Tadmor and Persepolis—
          From Balbec, and the still, clear abyss
          **Of beautiful Gomorrah! O, the wave
          Is now upon thee—but too late to save!

          Sound loves to revel in a summer night:
          Witness the murmur of the gray twilight

     * Voltaire, in speaking of Persepolis, says, “I know
     well the admiration inspired by these ruins—but a palace
     built at the foot of a chain of barren rocks—can it
     be a masterpiece of the arts!” [Here are the arguments of Mr. Voltaire.]

     ** “Oh! the wave”—Ula Degusi is the Turkish name;
     but, on its own shores, it is called Bahar Loth, or
     Almotanah. There were undoubtedly more than two cities
     engulfed in the “dead sea.” In the valley of Siddim were
     five—Adrah, Zeboin, Zoar, Sodom, and Gomorrah. Stephen of
     Byzantium mentions eight, and Strabo thirteen, (engulfed)
    —but the last is out of all reason.

    It is said, (Tacitus, Strabo, Josephus, Daniel of St. Saba, Nau,
Maundrell, Troilo, D’Arvieux) that after an excessive drought, the
vestiges of columns, walls, etc. are seen above the surface. At any
season, such remains may be discovered by looking down into the
transparent lake, and at such distances as would suggest the existence of
many settlements in the space now occupied by the ‘Asphaltites.’

          *That stole upon the ear, in Eyraco,
          Of many a wild star-gazer long ago—
          That steals ever on the ear of him
          Who, musing, gazes on the distance dim.
          And sees the darkness coming as a cloud—
          ***Is not its form—its voice—most palpable and loud?

              But what is this?—it comes—and it brings
          A music with it—’tis the rush of wings—
          A pause—and then a sweeping, falling strain
          And Nesace is in her halls again.
          From the wild energy of wanton haste
              Her cheeks were flushing, and her lips apart;
          And the zone that clung around her gentle waist
              Had burst beneath the heaving of her heart.
          Within the center of that hall to breathe
          She paused and panted, Zanthe! all beneath,
          The fairy light that kissed her golden hair
          And longed to rest, yet could but sparkle there!

              ***Young flowers were whispering in melody
          To happy flowers that night—and tree to tree;
          Fountains were gushing music as they fell
          In many a star-lit grove, or moonlit dell;
          Yet silence came upon material things—
          Fair flowers, bright waterfalls, and angel wings—
          And sound alone that from the spirit sprang
          Bore burden to the charm the maiden sang:

     * Eyraco—Chaldea.

     ** I have often thought I could distinctly hear the sound of
     the darkness as it stole over the horizon.

     *** Fairies use flowers for their character.—Merry Wives
     of Windsor.  [William Shakespeare]

           “’Neath blue-bell or streamer—
               Or tufted wild spray
           That keeps, from the dreamer,
               *The moonbeam away—
             Bright beings! that ponder,
               With half closing eyes,
           On the stars which your wonder
               Has drawn from the skies,
           Till they glance through the shade, and
               Come down to your brow
           Like—eyes of the maiden
               Who calls on you now—
           Arise! from your dreaming
               In violet bowers,
           To duty beseeming
               These star-litten hours—
           And shake from your tresses
               Encumbered with dew
           The breath of those kisses
               That cumber them too—
           (O! how, without you, Love!
               Could angels be blessed?)
           Those kisses of true love
               That lulled you to rest!
           Up!—shake from your wing
               Each hindering thing:
           The dew of the night—
               It would weigh down your flight;
           And true love caresses—
               O! leave them apart!

     * In Scripture is this passage—“The sun shall not harm
     you by day, nor the moon by night.” It is perhaps not
     generally known that the moon, in Egypt, has the effect of
     producing blindness in those who sleep with their face exposed
     to its rays, to which circumstance the passage evidently
     alludes.

          They are light on the tresses,
              But lead on the heart.

          Ligeia! Ligeia!
              My beautiful one!
          Whose harshest idea
              Will to melody run,
          O! is it thy will
              On the breezes to toss?
          Or, capriciously still,
              *Like the lone Albatross,
          Incumbent on night
              (As she on the air)
          To keep watch with delight
              On the harmony there?

          Ligeia! whatever
              Thy image may be,
          No magic shall sever
              Thy music from thee.
          Thou hast bound many eyes
              In a dreamy sleep—
          But the strains still arise
              Which thy vigilance keep—
          The sound of the rain
              Which leaps down to the flower,
          And dances again
              In the rhythm of the shower—
          **The murmur that springs
              From the growing of grass

     * The Albatross is said to sleep on the wing.

     ** I came across this idea in an old English tale, which I am
     now unable to obtain and quote from memory: “The very
     essence and, as it were, spring-head, and origin of all
     music is the very pleasant sound that the trees of
     the forest make when they grow.”

          Are the music of things—
              But are modeled, alas!—
          Away, then my dearest,
              O! hurry away
          To springs that lie clearest
              Beneath the moonray—
           To a lone lake that smiles,
              In its dream of deep rest,
          At the many star-isles
              That en-jewel its breast—
          Where wild flowers, creeping,
              Have mingled their shade,
          On its margin is sleeping
              Full many a maid—
          Some have left the cool glade, and
          *Have slept with the bee—
          Arouse them my maiden,
              On moorland and lea—
          Go! breathe on their slumber,
              All softly in ear,
          The musical number
              They slumbered to hear—
          For what can awaken
              An angel so soon

     * The wild bee will not sleep in the shade if there be
     moonlight. The rhyme in this verse, as in one about sixty
     lines before, has an appearance of affectation. It is,
     however, imitated from Sir W. Scott, or rather from Claud
     Halcro—in whose mouth I admired its effect:

                O! were there an island,
                    Though ever so wild
                Where woman might smile, and
                    No man be beguiled, &c.

          Whose sleep hath been taken
              Beneath the cold moon,
          As the spell which no slumber
              Of witchery may test,
          The rhythmical number
              Which lulled him to rest?” 

          Spirits in wing, and angels to the view,
          A thousand seraphs burst the Empyrean through,
          Young dreams still hovering on their drowsy flight—
          Seraphs in all but “Knowledge,” the keen light
          That fell, refracted, through thy bounds, afar
          O Death! from eye of God upon that star:
          Sweet was that error—sweeter still that death—
          Sweet was that error—even with us the breath
          Of science dims the mirror of our joy—
          To them ’twere the Simoom, and would destroy—
          For what (to them) avails it to know
          That Truth is Falsehood—or that Bliss is Woe?
          Sweet was their death—with them to die was rife
          With the last ecstasy of satiate life—
          Beyond that death no immortality—
          But sleep that ponders and is not “to be”—
          And there—oh! may my weary spirit dwell—
          *Apart from Heaven’s Eternity—and yet how far from Hell!

     * With the Arabians there is a medium between Heaven and
     Hell, where men suffer no punishment, but yet do not attain
     that tranquil and even happiness which they suppose to be
     characteristic of heavenly enjoyment.

            Un no rompido sueno—
            Un dia puro—alegre—libre
            Quiera—
            Libre de amor—de zelo
            De odio—de esperanza—de rezelo.—Luis Ponce de Leon.

     Sorrow is not excluded from “Al Aaraaf,” but it is that
     sorrow which the living love to cherish for the dead, and
     which, in some minds, resembles the delirium of opium. The
     passionate excitement of Love and the buoyancy of spirit
     attending upon intoxication are its less holy pleasures—
     the price of which, to those souls who make choice of “Al
     Aaraaf” as their residence after life, is final death and
     annihilation.

          What guilty spirit, in what shrubbery dim,
          Heard not the stirring summons of that hymn?
          But two: they fell: for Heaven no grace imparts
          To those who hear not for their beating hearts.
          A maiden-angel and her seraph-lover—
          O! where (and ye may seek the wide skies over)
          Was Love, the blind, near sober Duty known?

     *Unguided Love hath fallen—‘mid “tears of perfect moan.”

          He was a goodly spirit—he who fell:
          A wanderer by mossy-mantled well—
          A gazer on the lights that shine above—
          A dreamer in the moonbeam by his love:
          What wonder? For each star is eye-like there,
          And looks so sweetly down on Beauty’s hair—
          And they, and every mossy spring were holy
          To his love-haunted heart and melancholy.
          The night had found (to him a night of woe)
          Upon a mountain crag, young Angelo—
          Beetling it bends athwart the solemn sky,
          And scowls on starry worlds that down beneath it lie.
          Here sat he with his love—his dark eye bent
          With eagle gaze along the firmament:
          Now turned it upon her—but ever then
          It trembled to the orb of EARTH again.

          “Iante, dearest, see! how dim that ray!
          How lovely ’tis to look so far away!

     * There be tears of perfect moan
         Wept for thee in Helicon.—Milton.

          She seemed not thus upon that autumn eve
          I left her gorgeous halls—nor mourned to leave.
          That eve—that eve—I should remember well—
          The sun-ray dropped, in Lemnos, with a spell
          On the Arabesque carving of a gilded hall
          Wherein I sat, and on the draped wall—
          And on my eyelids—O the heavy light!
          How drowsily it weighed them into night!
          On flowers, before, and mist, and love they ran
          With Persian Saadi in his Gulistan:
          But O that light!—I slumbered—Death, the while,
          Stole over my senses in that lovely isle
          So softly that no single silken hair
          Awoke that slept—or knew that it was there.

          The last spot of Earth’s orb I trod upon
          *Was a proud temple called the Parthenon—
          More beauty clung around her columned wall
          **Than even thy glowing bosom beats withal,
          And when old Time my wing did disenthrall
          Thence sprang I—as the eagle from his tower,
          And years I left behind me in an hour.
          What time upon her airy bounds I hung
          One half the garden of her globe was flung
          Unrolling as a chart unto my view—
          Tenantless cities of the desert too!
          Ianthe, beauty crowded on me then,
          And half I wished to be again of men.” 

          “My Angelo! and why of them to be?
          A brighter dwelling-place is here for thee—

    * It was entire in 1687—the most elevated spot in Athens.

    ** Shadowing more beauty in their airy brows
       Than have the white breasts of the Queen of Love.—Marlowe.

           And greener fields than in yon world above,
           And women’s loveliness—and passionate love.”

           “But, listen, Ianthe! when the air so soft
           *Failed, as my pennoned spirit leapt aloft,
           Perhaps my brain grew dizzy—but the world
           I left so late was into chaos hurled—
           Sprang from her station, on the winds apart,
           And rolled, a flame, the fiery Heaven athwart.
           Methought, my sweet one, then I ceased to soar
           And fell—not swiftly as I rose before,
           But with a downward, tremulous motion through
           Light, brazen rays, this golden star unto!
           Nor long the measure of my falling hours,
           For nearest of all stars was thine to ours—
           Dread star! that came, amid a night of mirth,
           A red Dædalion on the timid Earth.

           “We came—and to thy Earth—but not to us
           Be given our lady’s bidding to discuss:
           We came, my love; around, above, below,
           Gay fire-fly of the night we come and go,
           Nor ask a reason save the angel-nod
           She grants to us, as granted by her God—
           But, Angelo, than thine gray Time unfurled
           Never his fairy wing o’er fairier world!
           Dim was its little disk, and angel eyes
           Alone could see the phantom in the skies,
           When first Al Aaraaf knew her course to be
           Headlong thitherward o’er the starry sea—
           But when its glory swelled upon the sky,
           As glowing Beauty’s bust beneath man’s eye,

     * Pennon—for pinion.—Milton.

           We paused before the heritage of men,
           And thy star trembled—as doth Beauty then!”

           Thus, in discourse, the lovers whiled away
           The night that waned and waned and brought no day.
           They fell: for Heaven to them no hope imparts
           Who hear not for the beating of their hearts.
```

TAMERLANE

     Kind solace in a dying hour!
         Such, father, is not (now) my theme—
     I will not madly deem that power
             Of Earth may shrive me of the sin
             Unearthly pride hath revell’d in—
         I have no time to dote or dream:
     You call it hope—that fire of fire!
     It is but agony of desire:
     If I can hope—Oh God! I can—
         Its fount is holier—more divine—
     I would not call thee fool, old man,
         But such is not a gift of thine.

     Know thou the secret of a spirit
         Bow’d from its wild pride into shame.
     O! yearning heart! I did inherit
         Thy withering portion with the fame,
     The searing glory which hath shone
     Amid the jewels of my throne,
     Halo of Hell! and with a pain
     Not Hell shall make me fear again—
     O! craving heart, for the lost flowers
     And sunshine of my summer hours!
     Th’ undying voice of that dead time,
     With its interminable chime,
     Rings, in the spirit of a spell,
     Upon thy emptiness—a knell.

     I have not always been as now:
     The fever’d diadem on my brow
         I claim’d and won usurpingly—
     Hath not the same fierce heirdom given
         Rome to the Caesar—this to me?
             The heritage of a kingly mind,
     And a proud spirit which hath striven
             Triumphantly with human kind.

     On mountain soil I first drew life:
         The mists of the Taglay have shed
         Nightly their dews upon my head,
     And, I believe, the winged strife
     And tumult of the headlong air
     Have nestled in my very hair.

     So late from Heaven—that dew—it fell
         (Mid dreams of an unholy night)
     Upon me—with the touch of Hell,
         While the red flashing of the light
     From clouds that hung, like banners, o’er,
         Appeared to my half-closing eye
         The pageantry of monarchy,
     And the deep trumpet-thunder’s roar
         Came hurriedly upon me, telling
             Of human battle, where my voice,
         My own voice, silly child!—was swelling
             (O! how my spirit would rejoice,
     And leap within me at the cry)
     The battle-cry of Victory!

     The rain came down upon my head
         Unshelter’d—and the heavy wind
         Was giantlike—so thou, my mind!—
     It was but man, I thought, who shed
         Laurels upon me: and the rush—
     The torrent of the chilly air
     Gurgled within my ear the crush
         Of empires—with the captive’s prayer—
     The hum of suiters—and the tone
     Of flattery ‘round a sovereign’s throne.

     My passions, from that hapless hour,
         Usurp’d a tyranny which men
     Have deem’d, since I have reach’d to power;
             My innate nature—be it so:
         But, father, there liv’d one who, then,
     Then—in my boyhood—when their fire
             Burn’d with a still intenser glow,
     (For passion must, with youth, expire)
         E’en then who knew this iron heart
         In woman’s weakness had a part.

     I have no words—alas!—to tell
     The loveliness of loving well!
     Nor would I now attempt to trace
     The more than beauty of a face
     Whose lineaments, upon my mind,
     Are—shadows on th’ unstable wind:
     Thus I remember having dwelt
     Some page of early lore upon,
     With loitering eye, till I have felt
     The letters—with their meaning—melt
     To fantasies—with none.

     O, she was worthy of all love!
     Love—as in infancy was mine—
     ’Twas such as angel minds above
     Might envy; her young heart the shrine
     On which my ev’ry hope and thought
         Were incense—then a goodly gift,
             For they were childish—and upright—
     Pure—as her young example taught:
         Why did I leave it, and, adrift,
             Trust to the fire within, for light?

     We grew in age—and love—together,
         Roaming the forest, and the wild;
     My breast her shield in wintry weather—
         And, when the friendly sunshine smil’d,
     And she would mark the opening skies,
     I saw no Heaven—but in her eyes.

     Young Love’s first lesson is—the heart:
         For ‘mid that sunshine, and those smiles,
     When, from our little cares apart,
         And laughing at her girlish wiles,
     I’d throw me on her throbbing breast,
         And pour my spirit out in tears—
     There was no need to speak the rest—
         No need to quiet any fears
     Of her—who ask’d no reason why,
     But turn’d on me her quiet eye!

     Yet more than worthy of the love
     My spirit struggled with, and strove,
     When, on the mountain peak, alone,
     Ambition lent it a new tone—
     I had no being—but in thee:
         The world, and all it did contain
     In the earth—the air—the sea—
         Its joy—its little lot of pain
     That was new pleasure—the ideal,
         Dim, vanities of dreams by night—
     And dimmer nothings which were real—
         (Shadows—and a more shadowy light!)
     Parted upon their misty wings,
             And, so, confusedly, became
             Thine image, and—a name—a name!
     Two separate—yet most intimate things.

     I was ambitious—have you known
             The passion, father? You have not:
     A cottager, I mark’d a throne
     Of half the world as all my own,
             And murmur’d at such lowly lot—
     But, just like any other dream,
             Upon the vapour of the dew
     My own had past, did not the beam
             Of beauty which did while it thro’
     The minute—the hour—the day—oppress
     My mind with double loveliness.

     We walk’d together on the crown
     Of a high mountain which look’d down
     Afar from its proud natural towers
         Of rock and forest, on the hills—
     The dwindled hills! begirt with bowers
         And shouting with a thousand rills.

     I spoke to her of power and pride,
         But mystically—in such guise
     That she might deem it nought beside
         The moment’s converse; in her eyes
     I read, perhaps too carelessly—
         A mingled feeling with my own—
     The flush on her bright cheek, to me
         Seem’d to become a queenly throne
     Too well that I should let it be
         Light in the wilderness alone.

     I wrapp’d myself in grandeur then,
         And donn’d a visionary crown—
             Yet it was not that Fantasy
             Had thrown her mantle over me—
     But that, among the rabble—men,
             Lion ambition is chain’d down—
     And crouches to a keeper’s hand—
     Not so in deserts where the grand
     The wild—the terrible conspire
     With their own breath to fan his fire.

     Look ‘round thee now on Samarcand!—
         Is not she queen of Earth? her pride
     Above all cities? in her hand
         Their destinies? in all beside
     Of glory which the world hath known
     Stands she not nobly and alone?
     Falling—her veriest stepping-stone
     Shall form the pedestal of a throne—
     And who her sovereign? Timour—he
         Whom the astonished people saw
     Striding o’er empires haughtily
         A diadem’d outlaw—

     O! human love! thou spirit given,
     On Earth, of all we hope in Heaven!
     Which fall’st into the soul like rain
     Upon the Siroc wither’d plain,
     And failing in thy power to bless
     But leav’st the heart a wilderness!
     Idea! which bindest life around
     With music of so strange a sound
     And beauty of so wild a birth—
     Farewell! for I have won the Earth!

     When Hope, the eagle that tower’d, could see
         No cliff beyond him in the sky,
     His pinions were bent droopingly—
         And homeward turn’d his soften’d eye.
     ’Twas sunset: when the sun will part
     There comes a sullenness of heart
     To him who still would look upon
     The glory of the summer sun.
     That soul will hate the ev’ning mist,
     So often lovely, and will list
     To the sound of the coming darkness (known
     To those whose spirits hearken) as one
     Who, in a dream of night, would fly
     But cannot from a danger nigh.

     What tho’ the moon—the white moon
     Shed all the splendour of her noon,
     Her smile is chilly—and her beam,
     In that time of dreariness, will seem
     (So like you gather in your breath)
     A portrait taken after death.
     And boyhood is a summer sun
     Whose waning is the dreariest one—
     For all we live to know is known,
     And all we seek to keep hath flown—
     Let life, then, as the day-flower, fall
     With the noon-day beauty—which is all.

     I reach’d my home—my home no more—
         For all had flown who made it so—
     I pass’d from out its mossy door,
         And, tho’ my tread was soft and low,
     A voice came from the threshold stone
     Of one whom I had earlier known—
         O! I defy thee, Hell, to show
         On beds of fire that burn below,
         A humbler heart—a deeper wo—

     Father, I firmly do believe—
         I know—for Death, who comes for me
             From regions of the blest afar,
     Where there is nothing to deceive,
             Hath left his iron gate ajar,
         And rays of truth you cannot see
         Are flashing thro’ Eternity—
     I do believe that Eblis hath
     A snare in ev’ry human path—
     Else how, when in the holy grove
     I wandered of the idol, Love,
     Who daily scents his snowy wings
     With incense of burnt offerings
     From the most unpolluted things,
     Whose pleasant bowers are yet so riven
     Above with trelliced rays from Heaven
     No mote may shun—no tiniest fly
     The light’ning of his eagle eye—
     How was it that Ambition crept,
         Unseen, amid the revels there,
     Till growing bold, he laughed and leapt
         In the tangles of Love’s very hair?
     Kind comfort in a dying hour!  
         That, father, is not my focus now—  
     I won't foolishly think that power  
             On Earth can absolve me from the sin  
             Of the heavenly pride that's revelled within—  
         I have no time to linger or dream:  
     You call it hope—that fire of fire!  
     It's just the pain of desire:  
     If I can hope—Oh God! I can—  
         Its source is holier—more divine—  
     I wouldn't call you a fool, old man,  
         But this is not a gift you possess.  

     Know the secret of a spirit  
         Bowed from its wild pride into shame.  
     O! yearning heart! I inherited  
         Your withering share along with fame,  
     The burning glory that has shone  
     Among the jewels of my throne,  
     Halo of Hell! And with a pain  
     Not even Hell will make me fear again—  
     O! craving heart, for the lost flowers  
     And sunshine of my summer hours!  
     The undying voice of that dead time,  
     With its never-ending chime,  
     Rings, like a spell,  
     Upon your emptiness—a knell.  

     I haven’t always been as I am now:  
     The fevered crown on my brow  
         I claimed and won usurpingly—  
     Isn’t the same fierce inheritance what  
         Gave Rome to the Caesar—this to me?  
             The legacy of a royal mind,  
     And a proud spirit that has fought  
             Triumphantly with humankind.  

     I first drew life from mountain soil:  
         The mists of the Taglay have shed  
         Their nightly dews upon my head,  
     And I believe the winged strife  
     And chaos of the rushing air  
     Have nestled in my very hair.  

     So soon from Heaven—that dew—fell  
         (Mid dreams of an unholy night)  
     Upon me—with the touch of Hell,  
         While the red flash of light  
     From clouds that hung, like banners, over,  
         Appeared to my half-closing eye  
         The pageantry of monarchy,  
     And the deep thunder of a trumpet’s roar  
         Came rushing upon me, signaling  
             Of human battle, where my voice,  
         My own voice, silly child!—was swelling  
             (O! how my spirit would rejoice,  
     And leap within me at the cry)  
     The battle cry of Victory!  

     The rain fell down upon my head  
         Unprotected—and the heavy wind  
         Was giant-like—so you, my mind!—  
     I thought it was only men who shed  
         Laurels upon me: and the rush—  
     The torrent of the chilly air  
     Gurgled within my ear the crash  
         Of empires—with the captive’s prayer—  
     The murmur of suitors—and the tone  
     Of flattery around a sovereign’s throne.  

     My passions, from that unfortunate hour,  
         Usurped a tyranny that men  
     Have deemed, since I’ve reached for power;  
             My innate nature—so be it:  
         But, father, there lived one who, back then,  
     Then—in my boyhood—when their fire  
             Burned with an even more intense glow,  
     (For passion must, with youth, fade)  
         Even then who knew this iron heart  
         In woman’s weakness shared a part.  

     I have no words—alas!—to express  
     The loveliness of loving well!  
     Nor would I now attempt to trace  
     The more than beauty of a face  
     Whose features, upon my mind,  
     Are—shadows on the unstable wind:  
     Thus I remember having lingered  
     On some page of early lore,  
     With a lingering gaze, till I felt  
     The letters—with their meaning—melt  
     To fantasies—with none.  

     O, she was worthy of all love!  
     Love—as it was in my infancy—  
     It was such as angel minds above  
     Might envy; her young heart was the shrine  
     On which my every hope and thought  
         Were incense—then a precious gift,  
             For they were innocent—and upright—  
     Pure—as her young example taught:  
         Why did I leave it, and, adrift,  
             Trust the fire within for light?  

     We grew in age—and love—together,  
         Roaming the forest and the wild;  
     My chest her shield in wintry weather—  
         And, when the friendly sunshine smiled,  
     And she would mark the opening skies,  
     I saw no Heaven—but in her eyes.  

     Young Love’s first lesson is—the heart:  
         For amidst that sunshine and those smiles,  
     When, through our little cares apart,  
         And laughing at her girlish wiles,  
     I’d throw myself on her throbbing chest,  
         And pour my spirit out in tears—  
     There was no need to say more—  
         No need to calm any fears  
     Of her—who asked no reason why,  
     But turned to me her calm eye!  

     Yet more than worthy of the love  
     My spirit struggled with, and strove,  
     When, on the mountaintop, alone,  
     Ambition gave it a new tone—  
     I had no being—but in you:  
         The world, and all it contained  
     In the earth—the air—the sea—  
         Its joy—its slight amount of pain  
     That was new pleasure—the ideal,  
         Faint, vanities of dreams by night—  
     And dimmer nothings which were real—  
         (Shadows—and an even shadowier light!)  
     Parted on their misty wings,  
             And so, confusedly, became  
             Your image—and—a name—a name!  
     Two separate—but most intimate things.  

     I was ambitious—have you felt  
             The passion, father? You have not:  
     A cottager, I marked a throne  
     Of half the world as all my own,  
             And murmured at such a lowly lot—  
     But, just like any other dream,  
             Upon the vapor of the dew  
     My own had passed, did not the beam  
             Of beauty which did while it threw  
     The minute—the hour—the day—oppress  
     My mind with double loveliness.  

     We walked together on the summit  
     Of a tall mountain which looked down  
     Far from its proud natural towers  
         Of rock and forest, on the hills—  
     The tiny hills! surrounded by bowers  
         And echoing with a thousand rills.  

     I spoke to her of power and pride,  
         But mystically—in such a way  
     That she might consider it nothing more  
         Than the moment’s conversation; in her eyes  
     I read, perhaps too carelessly—  
         A mixed feeling with my own—  
     The blush on her bright cheek, to me  
         Seemed to become a queenly throne  
     Too well that I should let it be  
         Light in the wilderness alone.  

     I wrapped myself in grandeur then,  
         And donned a visionary crown—  
             Yet it wasn't that Fantasy  
             Had thrown her mantle over me—  
     But that, among the crowd—men,  
             Lion ambition is held down—  
     And crouches to a keeper’s hand—  
     Not so in deserts where the grand  
     The wild—the terrible conspire  
     With their own breath to fan his fire.  

     Look around you now at Samarcand!—  
         Is she not queen of Earth? her pride  
     Above all cities? in her hand  
         Their fates? In all of glory which the world has known  
     Does she not stand nobly and alone?  
     Falling—her very stepping-stone  
     Shall form the pedestal of a throne—  
     And who is her sovereign? Timour—he  
         Whom the astonished people saw  
     Striding over empires haughtily  
         A crowned outlaw—  

     O! human love! thou spirit given,  
     On Earth, of all we hope in Heaven!  
     Which falls into the soul like rain  
     Upon the Siroc withered plain,  
     And, failing in your power to bless  
     But leaves the heart a wilderness!  
     Idea! which binds life around  
     With music of such a strange sound  
     And beauty of such a wild birth—  
     Farewell! for I have won the Earth!  

     When Hope, the eagle that soared, could see  
         No cliff beyond him in the sky,  
     His wings drooped—weighed down—  
         And homeward turned his softened eye.  
     ’Twas sunset: when the sun will part  
     There comes a heaviness of heart  
     To him who still would look upon  
     The glory of the summer sun.  
     That soul will hate the evening mist,  
     So often lovely, and will list  
     To the sound of the coming darkness (known  
     To those whose spirits listen) as one  
     Who, in a dream of night, would fly  
     But cannot from a danger near.  

     What though the moon—the white moon  
     Shed all the splendor of her noon,  
     Her smile is chilly—and her beam,  
     In that time of dreariness, will seem  
     (So like you gather in your breath)  
     A portrait taken after death.  
     And boyhood is a summer sun  
     Whose waning is the dreariest one—  
     For all we live to know is known,  
     And all we seek to keep has flown—  
     Let life, then, fall like the day-flower,  
     With the noon-day beauty—which is all.  

     I reached my home—my home no more—  
         For all had flown who made it so—  
     I passed from out its mossy door,  
         And, though my tread was soft and low,  
     A voice came from the threshold stone  
     Of one whom I had known before—  
         O! I defy you, Hell, to show  
         On beds of fire that burn below,  
         A humbler heart—a deeper woe—  

     Father, I firmly believe—  
         I know—for Death, who comes for me  
             From regions of the blessed afar,  
     Where there is nothing to deceive,  
             Has left his iron gate ajar,  
         And rays of truth you cannot see  
         Are flashing through Eternity—  
     I do believe that Eblis has  
     A snare in every human path—  
     Else how, when in the sacred grove  
     I wandered of the idol, Love,  
     Who daily scents his snowy wings  
     With incense of burnt offerings  
     From the most unpolluted things,  
     Whose pleasant bowers are yet so split  
     Above with trellised rays from Heaven  
     No mote may escape—no tiniest fly  
     The lightning of his eagle eye—  
     How was it that Ambition crept,  
         Unseen, amid the revelry there,  
     Until growing bold, he laughed and leapt  
         In the tangles of Love’s very hair?

1829.

1829.

TO HELEN

     Helen, thy beauty is to me
         Like those Nicean barks of yore,
     That gently, o’er a perfumed sea,
         The weary way-worn wanderer bore
         To his own native shore.

     On desperate seas long wont to roam,
         Thy hyacinth hair, thy classic face,
     Thy Naiad airs have brought me home
         To the glory that was Greece,
     And the grandeur that was Rome.

     Lo! in yon brilliant window-niche
         How statue-like I me thee stand,
     The agate lamp within thy hand!
         Ah, Psyche, from the regions which
         Are Holy-land!
     Helen, your beauty is to me  
         Like those ancient ships of the past,  
     That gently, over a fragrant sea,  
         Carried the tired, weary traveler  
         Back to his own homeland.  

     On desperate seas long used to wandering,  
         Your hyacinth hair, your classic face,  
     Your enchanting presence have brought me home  
         To the glory that was Greece,  
     And the greatness that was Rome.  

     Look! in that bright window niche  
         How statue-like I see you standing,  
     The agate lamp in your hand!  
         Ah, Psyche, from the lands that  
         Are sacred ground!  

1831.

1831.

THE VALLEY OF UNREST

     Once it smiled a silent dell
     Where the people did not dwell;
     They had gone unto the wars,
     Trusting to the mild-eyed stars,
     Nightly, from their azure towers,
     To keep watch above the flowers,
     In the midst of which all day
     The red sun-light lazily lay.
     Now each visitor shall confess
     The sad valley’s restlessness.
     Nothing there is motionless—
     Nothing save the airs that brood
     Over the magic solitude.
     Ah, by no wind are stirred those trees
     That palpitate like the chill seas
     Around the misty Hebrides!
     Ah, by no wind those clouds are driven
     That rustle through the unquiet Heaven
     Uneasily, from morn till even,
     Over the violets there that lie
     In myriad types of the human eye—
     Over the lilies there that wave
     And weep above a nameless grave!
     They wave:—from out their fragrant tops
     Eternal dews come down in drops.
     They weep:—from off their delicate stems
     Perennial tears descend in gems.
Once it smiled in a quiet valley  
Where people did not live;  
They had gone off to war,  
Relying on the gentle stars,  
Nightly, from their blue towers,  
To watch over the flowers,  
In the midst of which all day  
The bright sunlight lazily settled.  
Now every visitor will admit  
The sad valley’s restlessness.  
Nothing there is still—  
Nothing except the breezes that linger  
Over the magical solitude.  
Ah, no wind stirs those trees  
That tremble like the cold seas  
Around the misty Hebrides!  
Ah, no wind drives those clouds  
That rustle through the troubled sky  
Uneasily, from morning till evening,  
Over the violets that lie  
In countless types of the human eye—  
Over the lilies that sway  
And weep above a nameless grave!  
They sway:—from their fragrant tops  
Eternal dewdrops fall.  
They weep:—from their delicate stems  
Perpetual tears descend like gems.

1831.

1831.

ISRAFEL*

     In Heaven a spirit doth dwell
         “Whose heart-strings are a lute;”
      None sing so wildly well
     As the angel Israfel,
     And the giddy stars (so legends tell)
     Ceasing their hymns, attend the spell
         Of his voice, all mute.

     Tottering above
         In her highest noon
         The enamoured moon
     Blushes with love,
         While, to listen, the red levin
         (With the rapid Pleiads, even,
         Which were seven,)
         Pauses in Heaven

     And they say (the starry choir
         And all the listening things)
     That Israfeli’s fire
     Is owing to that lyre
         By which he sits and sings—
     The trembling living wire
     Of those unusual strings.

  * And the angel Israfel, whose heart-strings are a lut, and
  who has the sweetest voice of all God’s creatures.—KORAN.

     But the skies that angel trod,
         Where deep thoughts are a duty—
     Where Love’s a grown up God—
         Where the Houri glances are
     Imbued with all the beauty
         Which we worship in a star.

     Therefore, thou art not wrong,
         Israfeli, who despisest
     An unimpassion’d song:
     To thee the laurels belong
         Best bard, because the wisest!
     Merrily live, and long!

     The extacies above
         With thy burning measures suit—
     Thy grief, thy joy, thy hate, thy love,
         With the fervor of thy lute—
         Well may the stars be mute!

     Yes, Heaven is thine; but this
         Is a world of sweets and sours;
         Our flowers are merely—flowers,
     And the shadow of thy perfect bliss
         Is the sunshine of ours.

     If I could dwell
     Where Israfel
         Hath dwelt, and he where I,
     He might not sing so wildly well
         A mortal melody,
     While a bolder note than this might swell
         From my lyre within the sky.
     In Heaven, a spirit lives
         “Whose heart-strings are a lute;”
      No one sings as passionately
     As the angel Israfel,
     And the dizzy stars (as legends say)
     Stop their hymns to be enchanted
         By his voice, all silent.

     Wobbling above
         In her brightest noon
         The lovestruck moon
     Turns red with love,
         While, to listen, the fiery lightning
         (With the swift Pleiads, too,
         Who are seven,)
         Pauses in Heaven.

     They say (the starry choir
         And everything that listens)
     That Israfel’s fire
     Comes from that lyre
         With which he sits and sings—
     The trembling living wire
     Of those unique strings.

  * And the angel Israfel, whose heart-strings are a lute, and
  who has the sweetest voice of all God’s creatures.—KORAN.

     But the skies that angel walks,
         Where deep thoughts are essential—
     Where Love’s a mature God—
         Where the glances of the Houri are
     Filled with all the beauty
         That we adore in a star.

     Therefore, you are not wrong,
         Israfel, who looks down on
     A passionless song:
     To you belong the laurels,
         Best bard, for you are the wisest!
     Live happily and long!

     The ecstasies above
         Match your burning rhythms—
     Your grief, your joy, your hate, your love,
         With the intensity of your lute—
         It’s no wonder the stars are silent!

     Yes, Heaven is yours; but this
         Is a world of joy and sorrow;
         Our flowers are just—flowers,
     And the shadow of your perfect happiness
         Is the sunshine of ours.

     If I could live
     Where Israfel
         Has lived, and he where I,
     He might not sing so passionately
         A mortal melody,
     While a bolder note than this might rise
         From my lyre up in the sky.

1836.

1836.

TO ——

                     1

     The bowers whereat, in dreams, I see
         The wantonest singing birds
     Are lips—and all thy melody
         Of lip-begotten words—

                      2

     Thine eyes, in Heaven of heart enshrin’d
         Then desolately fall,
     O! God! on my funereal mind
         Like starlight on a pall—

                       3

     Thy heart—thy heart!—I wake and sigh,
         And sleep to dream till day
     Of truth that gold can never buy—
         Of the trifles that it may.
                     1

     The places where, in dreams, I see
         The wildest singing birds
     Are your lips—and all your melody
         Of words born from those lips—

                      2

     Your eyes, in the Heaven of my heart,
         Then sadly fall,
     Oh! God! on my mourning mind
         Like starlight on a coffin—

                       3

     Your heart—your heart!—I wake and sigh,
         And sleep to dream until day
     Of the truth that money can never buy—
         Of the small things that it can.

1829.

1829.

TO ——

     I heed not that my earthly lot

         Hath-little of Earth in it—

     That years of love have been forgot

     In the hatred of a minute:—

     I mourn not that the desolate

         Are happier, sweet, than I,

     But that you sorrow for my fate

     Who am a passer-by.
     I don't mind that my life on earth

         Has little of Earth in it—

     That years of love have been forgotten

     In the hatred of a moment:—

     I don't grieve that the lonely

         Are happier, dear, than I,

     But that you feel sad for my fate

     As I pass by.

1829.

1829.

TO THE RIVER——

     Fair river! in thy bright, clear flow
         Of crystal, wandering water,
     Thou art an emblem of the glow
             Of beauty—the unhidden heart—
             The playful maziness of art
     In old Alberto’s daughter;

     But when within thy wave she looks—
             Which glistens then, and trembles—
     Why, then, the prettiest of brooks
             Her worshipper resembles;
     For in my heart, as in thy stream,
         Her image deeply lies—
     His heart which trembles at the beam
         Of her soul-searching eyes.
     Beautiful river! in your bright, clear flow
         Of crystal, wandering water,
     You are a symbol of the glow
             Of beauty—the unhidden heart—
             The playful complexity of art
     In old Alberto’s daughter;

     But when she gazes into your waves—
             Which sparkle and shimmer—
     The prettiest of streams
             Resembles her worshipper;
     For in my heart, just like in your stream,
         Her image is firmly etched—
     A heart that trembles at the light
         Of her soul-searching eyes.

1829.

1829.

SONG

     I saw thee on thy bridal day—
         When a burning blush came o’er thee,
     Though happiness around thee lay,
         The world all love before thee:

     And in thine eye a kindling light
         (Whatever it might be)
     Was all on Earth my aching sight
        Of Loveliness could see.

     That blush, perhaps, was maiden shame—
         As such it well may pass—
     Though its glow hath raised a fiercer flame
         In the breast of him, alas!

     Who saw thee on that bridal day,
         When that deep blush would come o’er thee,
     Though happiness around thee lay,
         The world all love before thee.
     I saw you on your wedding day—
         When a burning blush came over you,
     Even though happiness surrounded you,
         The world was filled with love for you:

     And in your eye a sparkling light
         (Whatever it might be)
     Was all my aching eyes on Earth
        Could see of beauty.

     That blush might have been innocent shame—
         As it easily could be—
     Though its glow has ignited a fiercer flame
         In the heart of him, unfortunately!

     Who saw you on that wedding day,
         When that deep blush would come over you,
     Even though happiness surrounded you,
         The world was filled with love for you.

1827.

1827.

SPIRITS OF THE DEAD

                                 1

     Thy soul shall find itself alone
     ‘Mid dark thoughts of the grey tomb-stone—
     Not one, of all the crowd, to pry
     Into thine hour of secrecy:

                                 2

     Be silent in that solitude
         Which is not loneliness—for then
     The spirits of the dead who stood
         In life before thee are again
     In death around thee—and their will
     Shall then overshadow thee: be still.

                                3

     For the night—tho’ clear—shall frown—
     And the stars shall look not down,
     From their high thrones in the Heaven,
     With light like Hope to mortals given—
     But their red orbs, without beam,
     To thy weariness shall seem
     As a burning and a fever
     Which would cling to thee for ever:

                               4

     Now are thoughts thou shalt not banish—
     Now are visions ne’er to vanish—
     From thy spirit shall they pass
     No more—like dew-drop from the grass:

                              5

     The breeze—the breath of God—is still—
     And the mist upon the hill
     Shadowy—shadowy—yet unbroken,
     Is a symbol and a token—
     How it hangs upon the trees,
     A mystery of mysteries!—
                                 1

     Your soul will find itself alone
     Amid dark thoughts of the grey tombstone—
     Not one person in the crowd will pry
     Into your moment of secrecy:

                                 2

     Be quiet in that solitude
         Which isn't loneliness—for then
     The spirits of the dead who once stood
         Before you in life are again
     Around you in death—and their will
     Will overshadow you: be still.

                                3

     For the night—even though clear—will frown—
     And the stars will not look down,
     From their high thrones in Heaven,
     With light like Hope offered to mortals—
     But their red orbs, without brightness,
     Will seem to your weariness
     Like a burning fever
     That would cling to you forever:

                               4

     Now there are thoughts you cannot banish—
     Now there are visions that won’t vanish—
     They will no longer pass
     From your spirit—like dew drops from the grass:

                              5

     The breeze—the breath of God—is still—
     And the mist on the hill
     Shadowy—shadowy—but unbroken,
     Is a symbol and a sign—
     How it hangs upon the trees,
     A mystery of mysteries!—

1827.

1827.

A DREAM

     In visions of the dark night
         I have dreamed of joy departed—
     But a waking dreams of life and light
         Hath left me broken-hearted.

     Ah! what is not a dream by day
         To him whose eyes are cast
     On things around him with a ray
         Turned back upon the past?

     That holy dream—that holy dream,
         While all the world were chiding,
     Hath cheered me as a lovely beam
         A lonely spirit guiding.

     What though that light, thro’ storm and night,
         So trembled from afar-
     What could there be more purely bright
         In Truths day-star?
     In visions of the dark night
         I have dreamed of joy lost—
     But waking dreams of life and light
         Have left me heartbroken.

     Ah! what is not a dream by day
         For someone whose eyes are fixed
     On things around them with a glance
         Turning back to the past?

     That holy dream—that holy dream,
         While the whole world was scolding,
     Has lifted me like a lovely beam
         Guiding a lonely spirit.

     So what if that light, through storm and night,
         Flickered from far away—
     What could be more genuinely bright
         Than Truth's morning star?

1827.

1827.

ROMANCE

     Romance, who loves to nod and sing,
     With drowsy head and folded wing,
     Among the green leaves as they shake
     Far down within some shadowy lake,
     To me a painted paroquet
     Hath been—a most familiar bird—
     Taught me my alphabet to say—
     To lisp my very earliest word
     While in the wild wood I did lie,
     A child—with a most knowing eye.

     Of late, eternal Condor years
     So shake the very Heaven on high
     With tumult as they thunder by,
     I have no time for idle cares
     Through gazing on the unquiet sky.
     And when an hour with calmer wings
     Its down upon thy spirit flings—
     That little time with lyre and rhyme
     To while away—forbidden things!
     My heart would feel to be a crime
     Unless it trembled with the strings.

     1829.
     Romance, who loves to nod and sing,  
     With a sleepy head and folded wing,  
     Among the green leaves as they shake  
     Deep down in some shadowy lake,  
     To me a painted parakeet  
     Has been—a really familiar bird—  
     Taught me my alphabet to say—  
     To lisp my very first word  
     While I lay in the wild woods,  
     A child—with a knowing look.  

     Recently, endless Condor years  
     Shake the very heavens up high  
     With noise as they thunder by,  
     I have no time for idle worries  
     From staring at the restless sky.  
     And when an hour with calmer wings  
     Descends upon your spirit—  
     That little time with lyre and rhyme  
     To pass the time—forbidden things!  
     My heart would feel it's a crime  
     Unless it trembles with the strings.  

     1829.

FAIRY-LAND

     Dim vales—and shadowy floods—
     And cloudy-looking woods,
     Whose forms we can’t discover
     For the tears that drip all over
     Huge moons there wax and wane—
     Again—again—again—
     Every moment of the night—
     Forever changing places—
     And they put out the star-light
     With the breath from their pale faces.
     About twelve by the moon-dial
     One, more filmy than the rest
     (A kind which, upon trial,
     They have found to be the best)
     Comes down—still down—and down
     With its centre on the crown
     Of a mountain’s eminence,
     While its wide circumference
     In easy drapery falls
     Over hamlets, over halls,
     Wherever they may be—
     O’er the strange woods—o’er the sea—
     Over spirits on the wing—
     Over every drowsy thing—
     And buries them up quite
     In a labyrinth of light—
     And then, how deep!—O, deep!
     Is the passion of their sleep.
     In the morning they arise,
     And their moony covering
     Is soaring in the skies,
     With the tempests as they toss,
     Like—almost any thing—
     Or a yellow Albatross.
     They use that moon no more
     For the same end as before—
     Videlicet a tent—
     Which I think extravagant:
     Its atomies, however,
     Into a shower dissever,
     Of which those butterflies,
     Of Earth, who seek the skies,
     And so come down again
     (Never-contented things!)
     Have brought a specimen
     Upon their quivering wings.

     1831.
     Dim valleys—and shadowy streams—  
     And cloudy-looking woods,  
     Whose shapes we can’t distinguish  
     Because of the tears that drip everywhere.  
     Huge moons there wax and wane—  
     Again—again—again—  
     Every moment of the night—  
     Always swapping places—  
     And they snuff out the starlight  
     With the breath from their pale faces.  
     About twelve by the moon-dial  
     One, more misty than the rest  
     (A type which, upon testing,  
     They’ve found to be the best)  
     Comes down—still down—and down  
     With its center on the peak  
     Of a mountain’s height,  
     While its wide reach  
     In gentle drapery falls  
     Over villages, over halls,  
     Wherever they may be—  
     Over the strange woods—over the sea—  
     Over spirits on the wing—  
     Over every sleepy thing—  
     And buries them completely  
     In a maze of light—  
     And then, how deep!—O, deep!  
     Is the passion of their sleep.  
     In the morning they wake,  
     And their moonlit covering  
     Is soaring in the skies,  
     With the storms as they toss,  
     Like—almost anything—  
     Or a yellow Albatross.  
     They don’t use that moon anymore  
     For the same purpose as before—  
     Namely a tent—  
     Which I think is extravagant:  
     Its particles, however,  
     Into a shower break apart,  
     Of which those butterflies,  
     Of Earth, who seek the skies,  
     And then come down again  
     (Never-satisfied things!)  
     Have brought a sample  
     Upon their trembling wings.  

     1831.

THE LAKE —— TO——

     In spring of youth it was my lot
     To haunt of the wide earth a spot
     The which I could not love the less—
     So lovely was the loneliness
     Of a wild lake, with black rock bound,
     And the tall pines that tower’d around.

     But when the Night had thrown her pall
     Upon that spot, as upon all,
     And the mystic wind went by
     Murmuring in melody—
     Then—ah then I would awake
     To the terror of the lone lake.

     Yet that terror was not fright,
     But a tremulous delight—
     A feeling not the jewelled mine
     Could teach or bribe me to define—
     Nor Love—although the Love were thine.

     Death was in that poisonous wave,
     And in its gulf a fitting grave
     For him who thence could solace bring
     To his lone imagining—
     Whose solitary soul could make
     An Eden of that dim lake.

     1827.
     In the spring of my youth, I spent time at a spot on this vast earth
     That I couldn't help but love more—
     So beautiful was the solitude
     Of a wild lake, surrounded by dark rocks,
     And the tall pines that towered around.

     But when night fell over that place, like it did everywhere,
     And the mysterious wind passed through,
     Whispering in a melodic way—
     Then—oh then I would wake up
     To the fear of the lonely lake.

     Yet that fear wasn’t really terror,
     But a shaky kind of joy—
     A feeling that no precious gem
     Could teach or bribe me to describe—
     Nor Love—though it was yours.

     Death lingered in those toxic waves,
     And in its depths, a fitting grave
     For anyone who could find comfort
     In their solitary thoughts—
     Whose lonely soul could create
     A paradise out of that dim lake.

     1827.

EVENING STAR

     ’Twas noontide of summer,
        And midtime of night,
     And stars, in their orbits,
        Shone pale, through the light
     Of the brighter, cold moon.
        ‘Mid planets her slaves,
     Herself in the Heavens,
        Her beam on the waves.

        I gazed awhile
        On her cold smile;
     Too cold-too cold for me—
        There passed, as a shroud,
        A fleecy cloud,
     And I turned away to thee,

        Proud Evening Star,
        In thy glory afar
     And dearer thy beam shall be;
        For joy to my heart
        Is the proud part
     Thou bearest in Heaven at night.,
        And more I admire
        Thy distant fire,
     Than that colder, lowly light.

     1827.
It was the middle of summer,  
And the height of night,  
And stars, in their orbits,  
Shone faintly, through the light  
Of the brighter, cold moon.  
Among planets her slaves,  
She herself in the heavens,  
Her beam on the waves.  

I gazed for a while  
At her cold smile;  
Too cold—too cold for me—  
There passed, like a shroud,  
A fluffy cloud,  
And I turned away to you,  

Proud Evening Star,  
In your glory far  
And dearer your beam will be;  
For joy to my heart  
Is the proud part  
You play in heaven at night.  
And I admire more  
Your distant fire,  
Than that colder, lowly light.  

1827.

“THE HAPPIEST DAY.”

     I

     The happiest day-the happiest hour
     My seared and blighted heart hath known,
     The highest hope of pride and power,
     I feel hath flown.

     Of power! said I? Yes! such I ween
     But they have vanished long, alas!
     The visions of my youth have been
     But let them pass.

     III

     And pride, what have I now with thee?
     Another brow may ev’n inherit
     The venom thou hast poured on me
     Be still my spirit!

     IV

     The happiest day-the happiest hour
     Mine eyes shall see-have ever seen
     The brightest glance of pride and power
     I feet have been:

     V

     But were that hope of pride and power
     Now offered with the pain
     Ev’n then I felt-that brightest hour
     I would not live again:

             VI

     For on its wing was dark alloy
     And as it fluttered-fell
     An essence-powerful to destroy
     A soul that knew it well.

     1827.
     I

     The happiest day—the happiest hour
     My hurt and troubled heart has known,
     The highest hope of pride and power,
     I feel has flown.

     Of power! Did I say? Yes! I think so
     But they have disappeared long ago, sadly!
     The dreams of my youth have been
     But let them go.

     III

     And pride, what do I have now with you?
     Another might even inherit
     The poison you have poured on me
     Be still, my spirit!

     IV

     The happiest day—the happiest hour
     My eyes shall see—have ever seen
     The brightest glance of pride and power
     I feel has been:

     V

     But if that hope of pride and power
     Were now offered with the pain
     Even then I felt—that brightest hour
     I would not live it again:

     VI

     For on its wing was dark alloy
     And as it fluttered—it fell
     An essence—powerful to destroy
     A soul that knew it well.

     1827.

IMITATION

     A dark unfathom’d tide
     Of interminable pride—
     A mystery, and a dream,
     Should my early life seem;
     I say that dream was fraught
     With a wild, and waking thought
     Of beings that have been,
     Which my spirit hath not seen,
     Had I let them pass me by,
     With a dreaming eye!
     Let none of earth inherit
     That vision on my spirit;
     Those thoughts I would control
     As a spell upon his soul:
     For that bright hope at last
     And that light time have past,
     And my worldly rest hath gone
     With a sigh as it pass’d on
     I care not tho’ it perish
     With a thought I then did cherish.
     1827.
     A dark, deep tide  
     Of endless pride—  
     A mystery, and a dream,  
     That my early life might seem;  
     I say that dream was filled  
     With a wild, waking thought  
     Of beings that have existed,  
     Which my spirit hasn’t seen,  
     Had I let them pass me by,  
     With a dreaming eye!  
     Let no one on earth inherit  
     That vision in my spirit;  
     Those thoughts I would control  
     Like a spell upon his soul:  
     For that bright hope has faded  
     And that light has long passed,  
     And my worldly peace has gone  
     With a sigh as it moved on.  
     I don’t mind if it perishes  
     With a thought I once cherished.  
     1827.

HYMN TO ARISTOGEITON AND HARMODIUS

Translation from the Greek

                I

     Wreathed in myrtle, my sword I’ll conceal
     Like those champions devoted and brave,
     When they plunged in the tyrant their steel,
     And to Athens deliverance gave.

                II

     Beloved heroes! your deathless souls roam
     In the joy breathing isles of the blest;
     Where the mighty of old have their home
     Where Achilles and Diomed rest

                III

     In fresh myrtle my blade I’ll entwine,
     Like Harmodius, the gallant and good,
     When he made at the tutelar shrine
     A libation of Tyranny’s blood.

                IV

     Ye deliverers of Athens from shame!
     Ye avengers of Liberty’s wrongs!
     Endless ages shall cherish your fame,
     Embalmed in their echoing songs!

     1827.
                I

     Wrapped in myrtle, I'll hide my sword
     Like those dedicated and fearless champions,
     When they drove their steel into the tyrant,
     And brought freedom to Athens.

                II

     Beloved heroes! your immortal souls wander
     In the blissful isles of the blessed;
     Where the great of old have their home
     Where Achilles and Diomed rest.

                III

     In fresh myrtle, I'll weave my blade,
     Like Harmodius, the brave and noble,
     When he made a libation of Tyranny’s blood
     at the sacred shrine.

                IV

     You who freed Athens from disgrace!
     You who avenged the wrongs of Liberty!
     For endless ages, your legacy will be honored,
     Preserved in their resounding songs!

     1827.

DREAMS

     Oh! that my young life were a lasting dream!
     My spirit not awak’ning, till the beam
     Of an Eternity should bring the morrow:
     Yes! tho’ that long dream were of hopeless sorrow,
     ’Twere better than the dull reality
     Of waking life to him whose heart shall be,
     And hath been ever, on the chilly earth,
     A chaos of deep passion from his birth!

     But should it be—that dream eternally
     Continuing—as dreams have been to me
     In my young boyhood—should it thus be given,
     ’Twere folly still to hope for higher Heaven!
     For I have revell’d, when the sun was bright
     In the summer sky; in dreamy fields of light,
     And left unheedingly my very heart
     In climes of mine imagining—apart
     From mine own home, with beings that have been
     Of mine own thought—what more could I have seen?

     ’Twas once & only once & the wild hour
     From my rememberance shall not pass—some power
     Or spell had bound me—’twas the chilly wind
     Came o’er me in the night & left behind
     Its image on my spirit, or the moon
     Shone on my slumbers in her lofty noon
     Too coldly—or the stars—howe’er it was
     That dream was as that night wind—let it pass.

     I have been happy—tho’ but in a dream
     I have been happy—& I love the theme—
     Dreams! in their vivid colouring of life—
     As in that fleeting, shadowy, misty strife
     Of semblance with reality which brings
     To the delirious eye more lovely things
     Of Paradise & Love—& all our own!
     Than young Hope in his sunniest hour hath known.

         {From an earlier MS. Than in the book—ED.}
     Oh! I wish my young life were a lasting dream!  
     My spirit wouldn't awaken until the light  
     Of eternity brings the next day:  
     Yes! even if that long dream were filled with hopeless sorrow,  
     It would be better than the dull reality  
     Of waking life for someone whose heart is,  
     And has always been, on this chilly earth,  
     A chaotic mess of deep passion since birth!  

     But if it should be—this dream going on forever—  
     As dreams have been for me  
     In my youth—if it were to be given to me,  
     It would still be foolish to hope for a higher heaven!  
     Because I have reveled, when the sun was bright  
     In the summer sky; in dreamy fields of light,  
     And carelessly left my very heart  
     In the imagined places I’ve created—  
     Away from my own home, with beings that are  
     Products of my own thoughts—what more could I have seen?  

     It was once & only once & that wild hour  
     Will not fade from my memory—some power  
     Or spell had me captivated—it was the chilly wind  
     That came over me in the night & left behind  
     Its mark on my spirit, or perhaps the moon  
     Shone down on my slumber in her high noon  
     Too coldly—or the stars—however it happened,  
     That dream was like that night wind—let it go.  

     I have been happy—although only in a dream  
     I have been happy—and I love the theme—  
     Dreams! in their vivid colors of life—  
     As in that fleeting, shadowy, misty struggle  
     Of resemblance to reality which brings  
     To the delirious eye more beautiful things  
     Of paradise & love—and all that’s ours!  
     More than young hope has known in his sunniest hour.  

         {From an earlier MS. Than in the book—ED.}

“IN YOUTH I HAVE KNOWN ONE”

     How often we forget all time, when lone
     Admiring Nature’s universal throne;
     Her woods—her wilds—her mountains-the intense
     Reply of Hers to Our intelligence!

                             I

     IN youth I have known one with whom the Earth
         In secret communing held-as he with it,
     In daylight, and in beauty, from his birth:
         Whose fervid, flickering torch of life was lit
     From the sun and stars, whence he had drawn forth
         A passionate light such for his spirit was fit
     And yet that spirit knew-not in the hour
         Of its own fervor-what had o’er it power.

                            II

     Perhaps it may be that my mind is wrought
         To a fever* by the moonbeam that hangs o’er,
     But I will half believe that wild light fraught
         With more of sovereignty than ancient lore
     Hath ever told-or is it of a thought
         The unembodied essence, and no more
     That with a quickening spell doth o’er us pass
         As dew of the night-time, o’er the summer grass?

                                   III

     Doth o’er us pass, when, as th’ expanding eye
         To the loved object-so the tear to the lid
     Will start, which lately slept in apathy?
         And yet it need not be—(that object) hid
     From us in life-but common-which doth lie
         Each hour before us—but then only bid
     With a strange sound, as of a harp-string broken
         T’ awake us—’Tis a symbol and a token

                               IV

     Of what in other worlds shall be—and given
         In beauty by our God, to those alone
     Who otherwise would fall from life and Heaven
         Drawn by their heart’s passion, and that tone,
     That high tone of the spirit which hath striven
         Though not with Faith-with godliness—whose throne
     With desperate energy ‘t hath beaten down;
         Wearing its own deep feeling as a crown.

          * Query “fervor”?—ED.
How often we forget about time when we’re alone,
Admiring Nature’s universal throne;
Her woods—her wilds—her mountains—the intense
Response of hers to our intelligence!

                             I

     In my youth, I knew someone who shared a secret connection with the Earth,
     Engaging in quiet conversation—just as the Earth did with him,
     In daylight, and in beauty, from the moment he was born:
     His vibrant, flickering flame of life was ignited
     By the sun and stars, from which he drew
     A passionate light that suited his spirit so well,
     And yet that spirit didn’t know—in the moment of its own intensity—
     What power it held over him.

                            II

     Maybe it’s just that my mind is heated
     By the moonbeam hanging above,
     But I can almost believe that this wild light carries
     More authority than any ancient tales
     Ever mentioned—or could it be a thought,
     The essence without a body, and nothing more
     That passes over us with a quickening charm
     Like the dew of night on summer grass?

                                   III

     It passes over us, when, as the eye expands
     To the beloved object—so the tear will form at the lid
     That recently rested in apathy?
     And yet it doesn't have to be—that object hidden
     From us in life—but common—laying
     Each hour before us—but then only stirred
     By a strange sound, like a broken harp string
     To wake us—It’s a symbol and a token

                               IV

     Of what shall be in other worlds—and given
     In beauty by our God, to those alone
     Who otherwise would fall from life and Heaven,
     Drawn by their heart's passion, and that tone,
     That high tone of the spirit which has struggled
     Though not with Faith—with godliness—whose throne
     It has beaten down with desperate energy;
     Wearing its own deep feeling like a crown.

          * Query “fervor”?—ED.

A PÆAN.

A tribute.

                         I.

     How shall the burial rite be read?
         The solemn song be sung?
     The requiem for the loveliest dead,
         That ever died so young?

                         II.

     Her friends are gazing on her,
         And on her gaudy bier,
     And weep!—oh! to dishonor
         Dead beauty with a tear!

                        III.

     They loved her for her wealth—
         And they hated her for her pride—
     But she grew in feeble health,
         And they love her—that she died.

                       IV.

     They tell me (while they speak
         Of her “costly broider’d pall”)
     That my voice is growing weak—
         That I should not sing at all—

                        V.

     Or that my tone should be
         Tun’d to such solemn song
     So mournfully—so mournfully,
         That the dead may feel no wrong.

                       VI.

     But she is gone above,
         With young Hope at her side,
     And I am drunk with love
         Of the dead, who is my bride.—

                      VII.

     Of the dead—dead who lies
         All perfum’d there,
     With the death upon her eyes,
         And the life upon her hair.

                     VIII.

     Thus on the coffin loud and long
         I strike—the murmur sent
     Through the grey chambers to my song,
         Shall be the accompaniment.

                      IX.

     Thou died’st in thy life’s June—
         But thou did’st not die too fair:
     Thou did’st not die too soon,
         Nor with too calm an air.

                       X.

     From more than fiends on earth,
         Thy life and love are riven,
     To join the untainted mirth
         Of more than thrones in heaven—

                      XII.

     Therefore, to thee this night
         I will no requiem raise,
     But waft thee on thy flight,
         With a Pæan of old days.
                         I.

     How should the burial ceremony be conducted?  
         The solemn song be sung?  
     The requiem for the most beautiful deceased,  
         Who ever died so young?  

                         II.

     Her friends stand around her,  
         And by her flashy coffin,  
     And weep!—oh! to disrespect  
         Dead beauty with a tear!  

                        III.

     They loved her for her wealth—  
         And they despised her for her pride—  
     But as her health failed,  
         Their love for her grew—because she died.  

                       IV.

     They tell me (while they speak  
         Of her “expensive embroidered pall”)  
     That my voice is getting weak—  
         That I shouldn’t sing at all—  

                        V.

     Or that my tone should be  
         Tuned to such a solemn song  
     So mournfully—so mournfully,  
         That the dead may not feel wronged.  

                       VI.

     But she has ascended,  
         With young Hope by her side,  
     And I am overwhelmed with love  
         For the dead, who is my bride.—  

                      VII.

     For the dead—she lies  
         All perfumed there,  
     With death upon her eyes,  
         And life upon her hair.  

                     VIII.

     So on the coffin I strike loud and long—  
         The murmur carried  
     Through the gray chambers to my song,  
         Shall be the accompaniment.  

                      IX.

     You died in the prime of your life—  
         But you didn’t die too fair:  
     You didn’t die too soon,  
         Nor with too calm an air.  

                       X.

     From more than demons on earth,  
         Your life and love are torn,  
     To join the untainted joy  
         Of more than thrones in heaven—  

                      XII.

     Therefore, to you this night  
         I will raise no requiem,  
     But send you on your journey,  
         With a Paean of old days.  

NOTES

30. On the “Poems written in Youth” little comment is needed. This section includes the pieces printed for first volume of 1827 (which was subsequently suppressed), such poems from the first and second published volumes of 1829 and 1831 as have not already been given in their revised versions, and a few others collected from various sources. “Al Aaraaf” first appeared, with the sonnet “To Silence” prefixed to it, in 1829, and is, substantially, as originally issued. In the edition for 1831, however, this poem, its author’s longest, was introduced by the following twenty-nine lines, which have been omitted in—all subsequent collections:

30. Not much needs to be said about the “Poems written in Youth.” This section includes the pieces published in the first volume of 1827 (which was later suppressed), as well as poems from the first and second published volumes of 1829 and 1831 that have not already been provided in their updated versions, and a few others gathered from different sources. “Al Aaraaf” first appeared in 1829, with the sonnet “To Silence” added at the beginning, and is mostly the same as it was originally published. In the 1831 edition, however, this poem, the author’s longest, was prefaced by the following twenty-nine lines, which have been excluded in all later collections:

     AL AARAAF

     Mysterious star!
     Thou wert my dream
     All a long summer night—
     Be now my theme!
     By this clear stream,
     Of thee will I write;
     Meantime from afar
     Bathe me in light I

     Thy world has not the dross of ours,
     Yet all the beauty-all the flowers
     That list our love or deck our bowers
     In dreamy gardens, where do lie
     Dreamy maidens all the day;
     While the silver winds of Circassy
     On violet couches faint away.
     Little—oh “little dwells in thee”
      Like unto what on earth we see:
     Beauty’s eye is here the bluest
     In the falsest and untruest—On the sweetest
     air doth float
     The most sad and solemn note—

     If with thee be broken hearts,
     Joy so peacefully departs,
     That its echo still doth dwell,
     Like the murmur in the shell.
     Thou! thy truest type of grief
     Is the gently falling leaf!
     Thy framing is so holy
     Sorrow is not melancholy.
     AL AARAAF

     Mysterious star!
     You were my dream
     All through a long summer night—
     Be now my theme!
     By this clear stream,
     Of you will I write;
     Meanwhile from afar
     Bathe me in light!

     Your world doesn’t have the dirt of ours,
     Yet all the beauty—all the flowers
     That inspire our love or decorate our shelters
     In dreamy gardens, where lie
     Dreamy maidens all day;
     While the silver winds of Circassy
     On violet couches fade away.
     Little—oh “little dwells in you”
     Like what we see on earth:
     Beauty’s eye is here the bluest
     In the falsest and untruest—On the sweetest
     air floats
     The saddest and most solemn note—

     If with you are broken hearts,
     Joy departs so peacefully,
     That its echo still remains,
     Like the murmur in the shell.
     You! your truest type of grief
     Is the gently falling leaf!
     Your essence is so holy
     Sorrow is not melancholy.

31. The earliest version of “Tamerlane” was included in the suppressed volume of 1827, but differs very considerably from the poem as now published. The present draft, besides innumerable verbal alterations and improvements upon the original, is more carefully punctuated, and, the lines being indented, presents a more pleasing appearance, to the eye at least.

31. The earliest version of “Tamerlane” was included in the banned volume of 1827, but it differs quite a bit from the poem as it’s published today. The current draft, in addition to countless word changes and enhancements from the original, has better punctuation, and with the lines indented, it looks more visually appealing, at least to the eye.

32. “To Helen” first appeared in the 1831 volume, as did also “The Valley of Unrest” (as “The Valley Nis”), “Israfel,” and one or two others of the youthful pieces. The poem styled “Romance,” constituted the Preface of the 1829 volume, but with the addition of the following lines:

32. “To Helen” first appeared in the 1831 volume, along with “The Valley of Unrest” (originally “The Valley Nis”), “Israfel,” and a couple of other early works. The poem titled “Romance” served as the Preface of the 1829 volume, but with the addition of the following lines:

     Succeeding years, too wild for song,
     Then rolled like tropic storms along,
     Where, through the garish lights that fly
     Dying along the troubled sky,
     Lay bare, through vistas thunder-riven,
     The blackness of the general Heaven,
     That very blackness yet doth Ring
     Light on the lightning’s silver wing.

     For being an idle boy lang syne;
     Who read Anacreon and drank wine,
     I early found Anacreon rhymes
     Were almost passionate sometimes—
     And by strange alchemy of brain
     His pleasures always turned to pain—
     His naiveté to wild desire—
     His wit to love-his wine to fire—
     And so, being young and dipt in folly,
     I fell in love with melancholy,

     And used to throw my earthly rest
     And quiet all away in jest—
     I could not love except where Death
     Was mingling his with Beauty’s breath—
     Or Hymen, Time, and Destiny,
     Were stalking between her and me.
Succeeding years, too wild for song,  
Then rolled like tropical storms along,  
Where, through the flashy lights that flicker  
Fading across the troubled sky,  
Lay bare, through views shattered by thunder,  
The darkness of the overall Heaven,  
That very darkness still Rings  
Light on the lightning’s silver wing.  

For being a carefree boy long ago;  
Who read Anacreon and drank wine,  
I quickly discovered Anacreon’s rhymes  
Were almost passionate at times—  
And by some strange alchemy of the mind  
His pleasures always turned to pain—  
His innocence to wild desire—  
His wit to love—his wine to fire—  
And so, being young and soaked in folly,  
I fell in love with melancholy,  

And used to toss my earthly rest  
And peace all away in jest—  
I could not love unless Death  
Was mingling his with Beauty’s breath—  
Or Hymen, Time, and Destiny,  
Were walking between her and me.

     But now my soul hath too much room—
     Gone are the glory and the gloom—
     The black hath mellow’d into gray,
     And all the fires are fading away.

     My draught of passion hath been deep—
     I revell’d, and I now would sleep
     And after drunkenness of soul
     Succeeds the glories of the bowl
     An idle longing night and day
     To dream my very life away.

     But dreams—of those who dream as I,
     Aspiringly, are damned, and die:
     Yet should I swear I mean alone,
     By notes so very shrilly blown,
     To break upon Time’s monotone,
     While yet my vapid joy and grief
     Are tintless of the yellow leaf—
     Why not an imp the graybeard hath,
     Will shake his shadow in my path—
     And e’en the graybeard will o’erlook
     Connivingly my dreaming-book.
     But now my soul has too much space—  
     Gone are the glory and the sadness—  
     The darkness has softened into gray,  
     And all the fires are burning out.  

     My experience of passion has been intense—  
     I celebrated, and now I just want to rest  
     And after the intoxication of the soul  
     Comes the allure of the drink  
     An idle yearning night and day  
     To dream my whole life away.  

     But dreams—of those who dream like me,  
     Aspiringly, are cursed, and they fade away:  
     Yet if I swear I only mean,  
     With notes so piercingly played,  
     To interrupt Time’s monotony,  
     While my bland joy and sorrow  
     Lack the color of falling leaves—  
     Why shouldn’t a spirit the old man has,  
     Shake his shadow in my way—  
     And even the old man will overlook  
     Secretly my book of dreams.  

DOUBTFUL POEMS

ALONE

     From childhood’s hour I have not been
     As others were—I have not seen
     As others saw—I could not bring
     My passions from a common spring—
     From the same source I have not taken
     My sorrow—I could not awaken
     My heart to joy at the same tone—
     And all I lov’d—I lov’d alone—
     Then—in my childhood—in the dawn
     Of a most stormy life—was drawn
     From ev’ry depth of good and ill
     The mystery which binds me still—
     From the torrent, or the fountain—
     From the red cliff of the mountain—
     From the sun that ‘round me roll’d
     In its autumn tint of gold—
     From the lightning in the sky
     As it pass’d me flying by—
     From the thunder, and the storm—
     And the cloud that took the form
     (When the rest of Heaven was blue)
     Of a demon in my view—
     From childhood, I haven't been
     Like others—I've not seen
     The same things others saw—I couldn't take
     My feelings from a common source—
     From the same well, I haven't drawn
     My pain—I couldn't wake
     My heart to joy at the same note—
     And everything I loved—I loved alone—
     Then—in my childhood—in the early days
     Of a very stormy life—was pulled
     From every depth of good and bad
     The mystery that still binds me—
     From the flood, or the spring—
     From the red cliffs of the mountain—
     From the sun that rolled
     Around me in its autumn shade of gold—
     From the lightning in the sky
     As it passed me quickly by—
     From the thunder, and the storm—
     And the cloud that took the shape
     (When the rest of the sky was blue)
     Of a demon in my sight—

{This poem is no longer considered doubtful as it was in 1903. Liberty has been taken to replace the book version with an earlier, perhaps more original manuscript version—Ed}

{This poem is no longer seen as questionable like it was in 1903. The book version has been swapped out for an earlier, possibly more authentic manuscript version—Ed}

TO ISADORE

             I

     Beneath the vine-clad eaves,
         Whose shadows fall before
         Thy lowly cottage door
     Under the lilac’s tremulous leaves—
     Within thy snowy claspeèd hand
         The purple flowers it bore..
     Last eve in dreams, I saw thee stand,
     Like queenly nymphs from Fairy-land—
     Enchantress of the flowery wand,
         Most beauteous Isadore!

              II

     And when I bade the dream
         Upon thy spirit flee,
         Thy violet eyes to me
     Upturned, did overflowing seem
     With the deep, untold delight
         Of Love’s serenity;
     Thy classic brow, like lilies white
     And pale as the Imperial Night
     Upon her throne, with stars bedight,
         Enthralled my soul to thee!

                 III

     Ah I ever I behold
         Thy dreamy, passionate eyes,
         Blue as the languid skies

     Hung with the sunset’s fringe of gold;
     Now strangely clear thine image grows,
         And olden memories
     Are startled from their long repose
     Like shadows on the silent snows
     When suddenly the night-wind blows
         Where quiet moonlight ties.

              IV

     Like music heard in dreams,
         Like strains of harps unknown,
         Of birds forever flown
     Audible as the voice of streams
     That murmur in some leafy dell,
         I hear thy gentlest tone,
     And Silence cometh with her spell
     Like that which on my tongue doth dwell,
     When tremulous in dreams I tell
         My love to thee alone!

              V

     In every valley heard,
         Floating from tree to tree,
         Less beautiful to, me,
     The music of the radiant bird,
     Than artless accents such as thine
         Whose echoes never flee!
     Ah! how for thy sweet voice I pine:—
     For uttered in thy tones benign
     (Enchantress!) this rude name of mine

         Doth seem a melody!
             I

     Beneath the vine-covered eaves,
         Whose shadows fall before
         Your humble cottage door
     Under the lilac's trembling leaves—
     Within your snow-white clasped hand
         The purple flowers it bore...
     Last night in dreams, I saw you stand,
     Like regal nymphs from Fairyland—
     Enchantress of the flowery wand,
         Most beautiful Isadore!

              II

     And when I urged the dream
         To leave your spirit,
         Your violet eyes turned to me
     Overflowed with the deep, untold delight
         Of Love’s serenity;
     Your classic brow, like white lilies
     And pale as the Imperial Night
     On her throne, adorned with stars,
         Captivated my soul to you!

                 III

     Ah, I always see
         Your dreamy, passionate eyes,
         Blue as the languid skies

     Hanging with the sunset’s fringe of gold;
     Now strangely clear, your image grows,
         And old memories
     Are startled from their long rest
     Like shadows on the silent snow
     When suddenly the night wind blows
         Where quiet moonlight lies.

              IV

     Like music heard in dreams,
         Like strains of unknown harps,
         Of birds forever gone
     Audible as the voice of streams
     That murmur in some leafy dell,
         I hear your gentlest tone,
     And Silence comes with her spell
     Like that which lingers on my tongue
     When, trembling in dreams, I tell
         My love to you alone!

              V

     In every valley heard,
         Floating from tree to tree,
         Less beautiful to me,
     The music of the radiant bird,
     Than simple accents such as yours
         Whose echoes never flee!
     Ah! how I long for your sweet voice— 
     For spoken in your kind tones
     (Enchantress!) this rough name of mine

         Sounds like a melody!

THE VILLAGE STREET

     In these rapid, restless shadows,
         Once I walked at eventide,
     When a gentle, silent maiden,
         Wal    ked in beauty at my side
     She alone there walked beside me
         All in beauty, like a bride.

     Pallidly the moon was shining
         On the dewy meadows nigh;
     On the silvery, silent rivers,
         On the mountains far and high
     On the ocean’s star-lit waters,
         Where the winds a-weary die.

     Slowly, silently we wandered
     From the open cottage door,
     Underneath the elm’s long branches
     To the pavement bending o’er;
     Underneath the mossy willow
     And the dying sycamore.

     With the myriad stars in beauty
     All bedight, the heavens were seen,
     Radiant hopes were bright around me,
     Like the light of stars serene;
     Like the mellow midnight splendor
     Of the Night’s irradiate queen.

     Audibly the elm-leaves whispered
         Peaceful, pleasant melodies,
     Like the distant murmured music
         Of unquiet, lovely seas:
     While the winds were hushed in slumber
         In the fragrant flowers and trees.

     Wondrous and unwonted beauty
         Still adorning all did seem,
     While I told my love in fables
         ‘Neath the willows by the stream;
     Would the heart have kept unspoken
         Love that was its rarest dream!

     Instantly away we wandered
         In the shadowy twilight tide,
     She, the silent, scornful maiden,
         Walking calmly at my side,
     With a step serene and stately,
         All in beauty, all in pride.

     Vacantly I walked beside her.
         On the earth mine eyes were cast;
     Swift and keen there came unto me
         Ritter memories of the past
     On me, like the rain in Autumn
         On the dead leaves, cold and fast.

     Underneath the elms we parted,
         By the lowly cottage door;
     One brief word alone was uttered
         Never on our lips before;
     And away I walked forlornly,
         Broken-hearted evermore.

     Slowly, silently I loitered,
         Homeward, in the night, alone;
     Sudden anguish bound my spirit,
         That my youth had never known;
     Wild unrest, like that which cometh
         When the Night’s first dream hath flown.

     Now, to me the elm-leaves whisper
         Mad, discordant melodies,
     And keen melodies like shadows
         Haunt the moaning willow trees,
     And the sycamores with laughter
         Mock me in the nightly breeze.

     Sad and pale the Autumn moonlight
         Through the sighing foliage streams;
     And each morning, midnight shadow,
         Shadow of my sorrow seems;
     Strive, 0 heart, forget thine idol!
         And, 0 soul, forget thy dreams!
     In these quick, restless shadows,
         Once I walked at dusk,
     When a gentle, quiet girl,
         Walked in beauty by my side.
     She was the only one there with me,
         All in beauty, like a bride.

     The pale moon was shining
         On the dewy meadows nearby;
     On the silvery, silent rivers,
         On the mountains far and high,
     On the ocean's star-lit waters,
         Where the weary winds die.

     Slowly, silently we wandered
     From the open cottage door,
     Underneath the elm’s long branches
     To the pavement bending over;
     Underneath the mossy willow
     And the dying sycamore.

     With countless stars in beauty
     All dressed up, the heavens were seen,
     Radiant hopes were bright around me,
     Like the calm light of serene stars;
     Like the soft midnight glow
     Of the Night’s shining queen.

     The elm leaves whispered softly
         Peaceful, pleasant melodies,
     Like the distant murmured music
         Of lovely, restless seas:
     While the winds were hushed in slumber
         Among the fragrant flowers and trees.

     Strange and unexpected beauty
         Still adorned everything,
     While I told my love in stories
         Under the willows by the stream;
     Would the heart have kept unspoken
         Love that was its rarest dream!

     Suddenly we wandered away
         In the shadowy twilight flow,
     She, the quiet, aloof maiden,
         Walking calmly at my side,
     With a step serene and stately,
         All in beauty, all in pride.

     Vacantly I walked beside her.
         My eyes were cast on the ground;
     Swift and sharp, memories rushed to me
         Like the rain in autumn
     On dead leaves, cold and fast.

     Underneath the elms we parted,
         By the humble cottage door;
     Just one brief word was spoken
         Never on our lips before;
     And away I walked forlornly,
         Broken-hearted forevermore.

     Slowly, silently I lingered,
         Homeward, through the night, alone;
     Sudden anguish gripped my spirit,
         That my youth had never known;
     Wild unrest, like that which comes
         When the Night’s first dream has flown.

     Now, to me the elm leaves whisper
         Crazy, discordant melodies,
     And sharp melodies like shadows
         Haunt the moaning willow trees,
     And the sycamores with laughter
         Mock me in the nightly breeze.

     Sad and pale, the autumn moonlight
         Streams through the sighing leaves;
     And each morning, midnight shadow,
         Shadow of my sorrow seems;
     Strive, oh heart, forget your idol!
         And, oh soul, forget your dreams!

THE FOREST REVERIE

     ’Tis said that when
     The hands of men
     Tamed this primeval wood,
     And hoary trees with groans of woe,
     Like warriors by an unknown foe,
     Were in their strength subdued,
     The virgin Earth Gave instant birth
     To springs that ne’er did flow
     That in the sun Did rivulets run,
     And all around rare flowers did blow
     The wild rose pale Perfumed the gale
     And the queenly lily adown the dale
     (Whom the sun and the dew
     And the winds did woo),
     With the gourd and the grape luxuriant grew.

     So when in tears
     The love of years
     Is wasted like the snow,
     And the fine fibrils of its life
     By the rude wrong of instant strife
     Are broken at a blow
     Within the heart
     Do springs upstart
     Of which it doth now know,
     And strange, sweet dreams,
     Like silent streams
     That from new fountains overflow,
     With the earlier tide
     Of rivers glide
     Deep in the heart whose hope has died—
     Quenching the fires its ashes hide,—
     Its ashes, whence will spring and grow
     Sweet flowers, ere long,
     The rare and radiant flowers of song!
It’s said that when  
The hands of people  
Tamed this ancient forest,  
And old trees with groans of sorrow,  
Like warriors facing an unknown enemy,  
Were brought down in their strength,  
The virgin Earth gave instant life  
To springs that never flowed  
That in the sun became streams,  
And all around, beautiful flowers bloomed.  
The pale wild rose scented the breeze  
And the regal lily down the valley  
(Whom the sun and the dew  
And the winds pursued),  
Along with the gourd and the grape, flourished abundantly.  

So when in tears  
The love of years  
Is wasted like melting snow,  
And the delicate threads of its life  
By the harsh blow of sudden strife  
Are shattered at once,  
Within the heart  
New springs suddenly rise  
That it now knows,  
And strange, sweet dreams,  
Like quiet streams  
That overflow from fresh fountains,  
With the earlier tide  
Of rivers glide  
Deep in the heart where hope has died—  
Extinguishing the fires hidden in its ashes—  
Its ashes, from which will soon spring and grow  
Sweet flowers,  
The rare and radiant flowers of song!

NOTES

Of the many verses from time to time ascribed to the pen of Edgar Poe, and not included among his known writings, the lines entitled “Alone” have the chief claim to our notice. Fac-simile copies of this piece had been in possession of the present editor some time previous to its publication in “Scribner’s Magazine” for September, 1875; but as proofs of the authorship claimed for it were not forthcoming, he refrained from publishing it as requested. The desired proofs have not yet been adduced, and there is, at present, nothing but internal evidence to guide us. “Alone” is stated to have been written by Poe in the album of a Baltimore lady (Mrs. Balderstone?), on March 17th, 1829, and the facsimile given in “Scribner’s” is alleged to be of his handwriting. If the caligraphy be Poe’s, it is different in all essential respects from all the many specimens known to us, and strongly resembles that of the writer of the heading and dating of the manuscript, both of which the contributor of the poem acknowledges to have been recently added. The lines, however, if not by Poe, are the most successful imitation of his early mannerisms yet made public, and, in the opinion of one well qualified to speak, “are not unworthy on the whole of the parentage claimed for them.”

Of the many verses sometimes attributed to Edgar Poe that aren't included in his known works, the lines titled "Alone" deserve our attention the most. Facsimile copies of this piece were in the possession of the current editor well before it was published in "Scribner’s Magazine" in September 1875. However, since no proof of the claimed authorship was provided, he held off on publishing it as requested. The proof is still lacking, and for now, we only have internal evidence to consider. "Alone" is said to have been written by Poe in the album of a Baltimore lady (Mrs. Balderstone?) on March 17, 1829, and the facsimile shown in "Scribner’s" is claimed to be in his handwriting. If the handwriting is indeed Poe’s, it significantly differs in crucial ways from all known examples, and it closely resembles that of the person who wrote the heading and date on the manuscript, both of which the contributor of the poem admits were added recently. However, if these lines are not by Poe, they represent the best imitation of his early style published so far, and, according to someone who is well qualified to judge, “are not unworthy overall of the parentage claimed for them.”

While Edgar Poe was editor of the “Broadway Journal,” some lines “To Isadore” appeared therein, and, like several of his known pieces, bore no signature. They were at once ascribed to Poe, and in order to satisfy questioners, an editorial paragraph subsequently appeared saying they were by “A. Ide, junior.” Two previous poems had appeared in the “Broadway journal” over the signature of “A. M. Ide,” and whoever wrote them was also the author of the lines “To Isadore.” In order, doubtless, to give a show of variety, Poe was then publishing some of his known works in his journal over noms de plume, and as no other writings whatever can be traced to any person bearing the name of “A. M. Ide,” it is not impossible that the poems now republished in this collection may be by the author of “The Raven.” Having been published without his usual elaborate revision, Poe may have wished to hide his hasty work under an assumed name. The three pieces are included in the present collection, so the reader can judge for himself what pretensions they possess to be by the author of “The Raven.”

While Edgar Poe was the editor of the “Broadway Journal,” some lines titled “To Isadore” appeared in it, and like several of his known works, they were unsigned. They were immediately attributed to Poe, and to address inquiries, an editorial note soon clarified that they were by “A. Ide, junior.” Two earlier poems had been published in the “Broadway Journal” under the name “A. M. Ide,” and whoever wrote those is also the author of the lines “To Isadore.” To create a sense of variety, Poe was publishing some of his known works in his journal under pseudonyms, and since no other writings can be traced to anyone named “A. M. Ide,” it’s possible that the poems now reprinted in this collection are by the author of “The Raven.” Having been published without his usual detailed revision, Poe may have wanted to conceal his rushed work under a fake name. The three pieces are included in this collection, allowing the reader to determine for themselves what merit they have as being written by the author of “The Raven.”


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