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FAIRY PRINCE AND OTHER STORIES
BY THE SAME AUTHOR
OLD-DAD
PEACE ON EARTH, GOOD-WILL TO DOGS
RAINY WEEK
OLD-DAD
PEACE ON EARTH, GOODWILL TO DOGS
RAINY WEEK
E. P. DUTTON & COMPANY
E. P. Dutton & Company
FAIRY PRINCE
AND OTHER STORIES
BY
ELEANOR HALLOWELL ABBOTT
AUTHOR OF "MOLLY MAKE-BELIEVE," "RAINY WEEK," ETC.

NEW YORK
E. P. DUTTON & COMPANY
681 FIFTH AVENUE
NEW YORK
E. P. DUTTON & COMPANY
681 FIFTH AVENUE
Copyright, 1922,
By E. P. Dutton & Company
All Rights Reserved
PRINTED IN THE UNITED
STATES OF AMERICA
Copyright, 1922,
By E. P. Dutton & Company
All Rights Reserved
PRINTED IN THE UNITED
STATES OF AMERICA
CONTENTS
FAIRY PRINCE
FAIRY PRINCE
In my father's house were many fancies. Always, for instance, on every Thanksgiving Day it was the custom in our family to bud the Christmas tree.
In my father’s house, there were many traditions. Every Thanksgiving Day, it was our family’s custom to bud the Christmas tree.
Young Derry Willard came from Cuba. His father and our father had been chums together at college. None of us had ever seen him before. We were very much excited to have a strange young man invited for Thanksgiving dinner. My sister Rosalee was seventeen. My brother Carol was eleven. I myself was only nine, but with very tall legs.
Young Derry Willard came from Cuba. His dad and our dad had been friends in college. None of us had ever seen him before. We were really excited to have a stranger join us for Thanksgiving dinner. My sister Rosalee was seventeen. My brother Carol was eleven. I was only nine, but I had really long legs.
Young Derry Willard was certainly excited when he saw the Christmas tree. Excited enough, I mean, to shift his eyes for at least three minutes from my sister Rosalee's face. Lovely as my sister Rosalee was, it had never yet occurred to any of us, I think,[Pg 4] until just that moment that she was old enough to have perfectly strange young men stare at her so hard. It made my father rather nervous. He cut his hand on the carving-knife. Nothing ever made my mother nervous.
Young Derry Willard was definitely thrilled when he spotted the Christmas tree. Thrilled enough, I mean, to take his eyes off my sister Rosalee's face for at least three minutes. As lovely as my sister Rosalee was, I think it had never crossed any of our minds, until that moment, that she was old enough to have completely random young guys stare at her so intently. It made my father pretty anxious. He cut his hand with the carving knife. My mother, on the other hand, was never one to get nervous.
Except for father cutting his hand it seemed to be a very nourishing dinner. The tomato soup was pink with cream. The roast turkey didn't look a single sad bit like any one you'd seen before. There was plenty of hard-boiled egg with the spinach. The baked potatoes were frosted with red pepper. There was mince pie. There was apple pie. There was pumpkin pie. There were nuts and raisins. There were gay gold-paper bonbons. And everywhere all through the house the funny blunt smell of black coffee.
Except for dad cutting his hand, it seemed like a really hearty dinner. The tomato soup was pink with cream. The roast turkey looked nothing like any you’d seen before. There were lots of hard-boiled eggs with the spinach. The baked potatoes were topped with red pepper. There was mince pie. There was apple pie. There was pumpkin pie. There were nuts and raisins. There were colorful gold-wrapped candies. And all through the house, there was the funny strong smell of black coffee.
It was my brother Carol's duty always to bring in the Christmas tree. By some strange mix-up of what is and what isn't my brother Carol was dumb—stark dumb, I mean, and[Pg 5] from birth. But tho he had never found his voice he had at least never lost his shining face. Even now at eleven in the twilightly end of a rainy Sunday, or most any day when he had an earache, he still let mother call him "Shining Face." But if any children called him "Shining Face" he kicked them. Even when he kicked people, tho, he couldn't stop his face shining. It was very cheerful. Everything about Carol was very cheerful. No matter, indeed, how much we might play and whisper about gifts and tinsels and jolly-colored candles, Christmas never, I think, seemed really probable to any of us until that one jumpy moment, just at the end of the Thanksgiving dinner, when, heralded by a slam in the wood-shed, a hoppytyskip in the hall, the dining-room door flung widely open on Carol's eyes twinkling like a whole skyful of stars through the shaggy, dark branches of a young spruce-tree. It made young Derry Willard laugh right out loud.[Pg 6]
It was my brother Carol's job to always bring in the Christmas tree. For some strange reason, my brother Carol was completely mute—totally mute, I mean, from birth. But even though he had never found his voice, he had at least never lost his bright smile. Even now, at eleven, on a gloomy, rainy Sunday evening, or any day he had an earache, he still let mom call him "Shining Face." But if any other kids called him "Shining Face," he kicked them. Even when he kicked people, though, he couldn’t stop his smile from shining. It was very cheerful. Everything about Carol was really cheerful. No matter how much we played and whispered about gifts, tinsel, and brightly colored candles, Christmas never really felt likely to any of us until that one exciting moment, right at the end of Thanksgiving dinner, when, with a loud bang from the wood-shed and a bouncy skip in the hallway, the dining-room door swung wide open to reveal Carol's eyes sparkling like a sky full of stars through the dark branches of a young spruce tree. It made young Derry Willard laugh out loud.[Pg 6]
"Why, of all funny things!" he said. "On Thanksgiving Day! Why, it looks like a Christmas tree!"
"Can you believe this?!" he said. "On Thanksgiving Day! It looks just like a Christmas tree!"
"It is a Christmas tree," explained my sister Rosalee very patiently. My sister Rosalee was almost always very patient. But I had never seen her patient with a young man before. It made her cheeks very pink. "It is a Christmas tree," she explained. "That is, it's going to be a Christmas tree! Just the very first second we get it 'budded' it'll start right in to be a Christmas tree!"
"It’s a Christmas tree," my sister Rosalee explained patiently. She was usually very patient, but I had never seen her be patient with a young man before. It made her cheeks turn really pink. "It is a Christmas tree," she went on. "Well, it’s going to be a Christmas tree! The moment we get it 'budded,' it'll start being a Christmas tree right away!"
"Budded?" puzzled young Derry Willard. Really for a person who looked so much like the picture of the Fairy Prince in my best story-book, he seemed just a little bit slow.
"Budded?" puzzled young Derry Willard. Honestly, for someone who resembled the Fairy Prince from my favorite storybook, he seemed just a little slow.
"Why, of course, it's got to be budded!" I cried. "That's what it's for! That's——"
"Of course, it's got to be budded!" I exclaimed. "That's what it's for! That's——"
Instead of just being pink patient my sister Rosalee started in suddenly to be dimply patient too.[Pg 7]
Instead of just being a pink patient, my sister Rosalee suddenly started being a dimply patient too.[Pg 7]
"It's from mother's Christmas-tree garden, you know," she went right on explaining. "Mother's got a Winter garden—a Christmas-tree garden!"
"It's from my mom's Christmas tree garden, you know," she continued explaining. "Mom has a winter garden—a Christmas tree garden!"
"Father's got a garden, too!" I maintained stoutly. "Father's is a Spring garden! Reds, blues, yellows, greens, whites! From France! And Holland! And California! And Asia Minor! Tulips, you know. Buster's! Oh, father's garden is a glory!" I boasted.
"Dad has a garden, too!" I insisted confidently. "Dad's is a spring garden! Reds, blues, yellows, greens, whites! From France! And Holland! And California! And Asia Minor! Tulips, you know. Buster's! Oh, Dad's garden is a glory!" I bragged.
"And mother's garden," said my mother very softly, "is only a story."
"And mom's garden," my mother said softly, "is just a story."
"It's an awfully nice story," said Rosalee.
"It's a really nice story," said Rosalee.
Young Derry Willard seemed to like stories.
Young Derry Willard seemed to enjoy stories.
"Tell it!" he begged.
"Say it!" he begged.
It was Rosalee who told it. "Why, it was when Carol was born," she said. "It was on a Christmas eve, you know. That's why mother named him Carol!"
It was Rosalee who shared the story. "Well, it was when Carol was born," she said. "It was on Christmas Eve, you know. That's why Mom named him Carol!"
"We didn't know then, you see"—interrupted my mother very softly—"that Carol[Pg 8] had been given the gift of silence rather than the gift of speech."
"We didn't know then, you see"—my mother softly interrupted—"that Carol[Pg 8] had been given the gift of silence instead of the gift of speech."
"And father was so happy to have a boy," dimpled Rosalee, "that he said to mother, 'Well, now, I guess you've got everything in the world that you want!' And mother said, 'Everything—except a spruce forest!' So father bought her a spruce forest," said Rosalee. "That's the story!"
"And Dad was so thrilled to have a boy," Rosalee said with a smile, "that he told Mom, 'Well, I guess you have everything in the world that you want now!' And Mom replied, 'Everything—except for a spruce forest!' So Dad bought her a spruce forest," Rosalee finished. "That's the story!"
"Oh, my dear!" laughed my mother. "That isn't a 'story' at all! All you've told is the facts! It's the feeling of the facts that makes a story, you know! It was on my birthday," glowed mother, "that the presentation was to be made! My birthday was in March! I was very much excited and came down to breakfast with my hat and coat on! 'Where are you going?' said my husband."
"Oh, my dear!" laughed my mother. "That isn't a 'story' at all! All you've shared are the facts! It's the feeling behind the facts that makes a story, you know! It was on my birthday," mom beamed, "that the presentation was going to happen! My birthday is in March! I was really excited and came down to breakfast with my hat and coat on! 'Where are you going?' asked my husband."
"Oh—Mother!" protested Rosalee. "'Whither away?' was what you've always told us he said!"
"Oh—Mom!" protested Rosalee. "'Where are you going?' is what you've always told us he said!"
"'Whither away?' of course was what he[Pg 9] said!" laughed my mother. "'Why, I'm going to find my spruce forest!' I told him. 'And I can't wait a moment longer! Is it the big one over beyond the mountain?' I implored him. 'Or the little grove that the deacon tried to sell you last year?'"
"'Where are you going?' of course was what he[Pg 9] said!" my mother laughed. "'I’m going to find my spruce forest!' I told him. 'And I can’t wait even a second longer! Is it the big one over the mountain?' I begged him. 'Or the little grove that the deacon tried to sell you last year?'"
"And they never budged an inch from the house!" interrupted Rosalee. "It was the funniest——"
"And they never moved an inch from the house!" interrupted Rosalee. "It was the funniest——"
Over in the corner of the room my father laughed out suddenly. My father had left the table. He and Carol were trying very hard to make the spruce-tree stand upright in a huge pot of wet earth. The spruce-tree didn't want to stand upright. My father laughed all over again. But it wasn't at the spruce-tree. "Well, now, wouldn't it have been a pity," he said, "to have made a perfectly good lady fare forth on a cold March morning to find her own birthday present?"
Over in the corner of the room, my dad suddenly laughed out loud. He had gotten up from the table. He and Carol were struggling to get the spruce tree to stand upright in a big pot of wet soil. The spruce tree was not cooperating. My dad laughed again, but it wasn't because of the tree. "Well, wouldn't it be a shame," he said, "to send a perfectly good lady out on a chilly March morning to find her own birthday gift?"
My mother began to clap her hands. It was a very little noise. But jolly.[Pg 10]
My mom started clapping her hands. It was a tiny sound. But it was cheerful.[Pg 10]
"It came by mail!" she cried. "My whole spruce forest! In a package no bigger than my head!"
"It arrived in the mail!" she exclaimed. "My entire spruce forest! In a package no bigger than my head!"
"Than your rather fluffy head!" corrected my father.
"Than your pretty fluffy head!" corrected my father.
"Three hundred spruce seedlings!" cried my mother. "Each one no bigger than a wisp of grass! Like little green ferns they were! So tender! So fluffing! So helpless!"
"Three hundred spruce seedlings!" my mother exclaimed. "Each one no bigger than a blade of grass! They looked like little green ferns! So tender! So fluffy! So helpless!"
"Heigh-O!" said young Derry Willard. "Well, I guess you laughed—then!"
"Heigh-O!" said young Derry Willard. "Well, I guess you laughed—then!"
When grown-up people are trying to remember things outside themselves I've noticed they always open their eyes very wide. But when they are remembering things inside themselves they shut their eyes very tight. My mother shut her eyes very tight.
When adults try to remember things outside of themselves, I've noticed they always open their eyes wide. But when they’re recalling things inside themselves, they close their eyes really tight. My mom would shut her eyes really tight.
"No—I didn't exactly laugh," said my mother. "And I didn't exactly cry."
"No—I didn't really laugh," my mother said. "And I didn't really cry."
"You wouldn't eat!" cried Rosalee. "Not all day, I mean! Father had to feed you with a spoon! It was in the wing-chair! You held[Pg 11] the box on your knees! You just shone—and shone—and shone!"
"You wouldn't eat!" Rosalee exclaimed. "Not at all today, I mean! Dad had to feed you with a spoon! You were in the wing chair! You held[Pg 11] the box on your lap! You just sparkled—and sparkled—and sparkled!"
"It would have been pretty hard," said my mother, "not to have shone a—little! To brood a baby forest in one's arms—if only for a single day—? Think of the experience!" Even at the very thought of it she began to shine all over again! "Funny little fluff o' green," she laughed, "no fatter than a fern!" Her voice went suddenly all wabbly like a preacher's. "But, oh, the glory of it!" she said. "The potential majesty! Great sweeping branches—! Nests for birds, shade for lovers, masts for ships to plow the great world's waters—timbers perhaps for cathedrals! O—h," shivered my mother. "It certainly gave one a very queer feeling! No woman surely in the whole wide world—except the Mother of the Little Christ—ever felt so astonished to think what she had in her lap!"[Pg 12]
"It would have been pretty hard," my mom said, "not to have glowed a little! Holding a baby forest in your arms—even if it’s just for a day? Just think of the experience!" Just thinking about it made her light up again! "Funny little fluff of green," she chuckled, "no bigger than a fern!" Her voice suddenly got all wobbly like a preacher's. "But, oh, the glory of it!" she exclaimed. "The potential majesty! Huge, sweeping branches—! Nests for birds, shade for lovers, masts for ships to navigate the vast waters—maybe even timbers for cathedrals! O—h," my mom shivered. "It definitely gave you a strange feeling! No woman in the whole wide world—except for the Mother of the Little Christ—has ever felt so amazed at what she had in her lap!"[Pg 12]
Young Derry Willard looked just a little bit nervous.
Young Derry Willard looked a bit nervous.
"Oh, but of course mother couldn't begin all at once to raise cathedrals!" I hastened to explain. "So she started in raising Christmas presents instead. We raise all our own Christmas presents! And just as soon as Rosalee and I are married we're going to begin right away to raise our children's Christmas presents too! Heaps for everybody, even if there is a hundred! Carol, of course, won't marry because he can't propose! Ladies don't like written proposals, father says! Ladies——"
"Oh, but of course mom couldn't just jump in and start building cathedrals!" I quickly explained. "So she began by making Christmas presents instead. We make all our own Christmas gifts! And as soon as Rosalee and I get married, we're going to start right away on our kids' Christmas presents too! Loads for everyone, even if there are a hundred! Carol, of course, won't marry because he can't propose! Women don’t like written proposals, dad says! Women——"
Young Derry Willard asked if he might smoke. He smoked cigarets. He took them from a gold-looking case. They smelled very romantic. Everything about him smelled very romantic. His hair was black. His eyes were black. He looked as tho he could cut your throat without flinching if you were faithless to him. It was beautiful.[Pg 13]
Young Derry Willard asked if he could smoke. He smoked cigarettes. He pulled them from a case that looked like gold. They had a very romantic scent. Everything about him had a romantic vibe. His hair was black. His eyes were black. He looked like he could cut your throat without blinking if you betrayed him. It was beautiful.[Pg 13]
I left the table as soon as I could. I went and got my best story-book. I was perfectly right. He looked exactly like the picture of the Fairy Prince on the front page of the book. There were heaps of other pictures, of course. But only one picture of a Fairy Prince. I looked in the glass. I looked just exactly the way I did before dinner. It made me feel queer. Rosalee didn't look at all the way she looked before dinner. It made me feel very queer.
I left the table as soon as I could. I went to grab my favorite storybook. I was completely right. He looked exactly like the picture of the Fairy Prince on the cover of the book. There were plenty of other pictures, of course. But only one picture of a Fairy Prince. I looked in the mirror. I looked just like I did before dinner. It made me feel weird. Rosalee didn't look at all like she did before dinner. It made me feel very weird.
When I got back to the dining-room everybody was looking at the little spruce-tree—except young Derry Willard and Rosalee. Young Derry Willard was still looking at Rosalee. Rosalee was looking at the toes of her slippers. The fringe of her eyelashes seemed to be an inch long. Her cheeks were so pink I thought she had a fever. No one else came to bud the Christmas tree except Carol's tame coon and the tame crow. Carol is very unselfish. He always buds one wish for the[Pg 14] coon. And one for the crow. The tame coon looked rather jolly and gold-powdered in the firelight. The crow never looked jolly. I have heard of white crows. But Carol's crow was a very dark black. Wherever you put him he looked like a sorrow. He sat on the arm of Rosalee's chair and nibbed at her pink sleeve. Young Derry Willard pushed him away. Young Derry Willard and Rosalee tried to whisper. I heard them.
When I returned to the dining room, everyone was staring at the little spruce tree—except for Derry Willard and Rosalee. Derry was still focused on Rosalee, who was staring at the toes of her slippers. The tips of her eyelashes seemed like they were an inch long. Her cheeks were so pink I thought she had a fever. No one else came to bud the Christmas tree except for Carol's pet raccoon and the pet crow. Carol is really generous. He always buds one wish for the[Pg 14] raccoon and one for the crow. The pet raccoon looked quite cheerful and sparkly in the firelight. The crow never looked cheerful. I've heard of white crows, but Carol's crow was very dark black. No matter where you put him, he looked like a sadness. He sat on the arm of Rosalee's chair and nibbled at her pink sleeve. Derry pushed him away. He and Rosalee tried to whisper, but I heard them.
"How old are you?" whispered Rosalee.
"How old are you?" whispered Rosalee.
"I'm twenty-two," whispered young Derry Willard.
"I'm twenty-two," whispered young Derry Willard.
"O—h," said Rosalee.
"O—h," Rosalee said.
"How young are you?" whispered Derry Willard.
"How young are you?" Derry Willard whispered.
"I'm seventeen," whispered Rosalee.
"I'm 17," whispered Rosalee.
"O—h," said Derry Willard.
"O—h," said Derry Willard.
My mother started in very suddenly to explain about the Christmas tree. There were lots of little pencils on the table. And blocks of paper. And nice cold, shining sheets of[Pg 15] tin-foil. There was violet-colored tin-foil, and red-colored tin-foil—and green and blue and silver and gold.
My mom suddenly began to explain about the Christmas tree. There were lots of little pencils on the table. And stacks of paper. And nice cold, shiny sheets of[Pg 15] tin foil. There was violet tin foil, and red tin foil—and green, blue, silver, and gold.
"Why, it's just a little family custom of ours, Mr. Willard," explained my mother. "After the Thanksgiving dinner is over and we're all, I trust, feeling reasonably plump and contented, and there's nothing special to do except just to dream and think—why, we just list out the various things that we'd like for Christmas and——"
"Well, it's just a little family tradition of ours, Mr. Willard," my mother explained. "After we finish the Thanksgiving dinner and we're all, hopefully, feeling pretty full and happy, and there's nothing much to do except relax and think—well, we just write down the different things we’d like for Christmas and——"
"Most people end Thanksgiving, of course," explained my father, "by trying to feel thankful for the things they've already had. But this seems to be more like a scheme for expressing thanks for the things that we'd like to have!"
"Most people wrap up Thanksgiving, of course," my father explained, "by trying to feel grateful for the things they've already had. But this seems more like a plan for expressing thanks for the things that we'd like to have!"
"The violet tin-foil is Rosalee's!" I explained. "The green is mine! The red is mother's! The blue is father's! The silver is Carol's! Mother takes each separate wish just as soon as it's written, and twists it all up[Pg 16] in a bud of tin-foil! And takes wire! And wires the bud on the tree! Gold buds! Silver buds! Red! Green! Everything! All bursty! And shining! Like Spring! It looks as tho rainbows had rained on it! It looks as tho sun and moon had warmed it at the same time! And then we all go and get our little iron banks—all the Christmas money, I mean, that we've been saving and saving for a whole year! And dump it all out round the base of the tree! Nickels! Dimes! Quarters! Pennies! Everything! And——"
"The violet tin-foil is Rosalee's!" I said. "The green is mine! The red is Mom's! The blue is Dad's! The silver is Carol's! Mom takes each individual wish as soon as it’s written and twists it up[Pg 16] in a bud of tin-foil! Then she uses wire to attach the bud to the tree! Gold buds! Silver buds! Red! Green! Everything! All bursting with color! And shining! Like Spring! It looks like rainbows have rained on it! It looks like the sun and moon have warmed it at the same time! And then we all go to get our little iron banks—all the Christmas money we've been saving for a whole year! And dump it all out around the base of the tree! Nickels! Dimes! Quarters! Pennies! Everything! And——"
"Dump them all out—round the base of the tree?" puzzled young Derry Willard.
"Dump them all out—around the base of the tree?" wondered young Derry Willard.
Carol did something suddenly that I never saw him do before with a stranger. He wrote a conversation on a sheet of paper and waved it at young Derry Willard. It was a short conversation. But it was written very tall.
Carol did something surprising that I had never seen him do before with a stranger. He scribbled a conversation on a piece of paper and waved it at young Derry Willard. It was a quick conversation. But it was written in big letters.
"Phertalizer!" explained Carol.
"Phertalizer!" explained Carol.
My father made a little laugh. "In all my experience with horticulture," he said, "I[Pg 17] know of no fertilizer for a Christmas tree that equals a judicious application of nickels, dimes, and quarters—well stirred in."
My dad chuckled a bit. "Through all my experience with gardening," he said, "I[Pg 17] haven't found any fertilizer for a Christmas tree that beats a thoughtful mix of nickels, dimes, and quarters—well stirred in."
"Our uncle Charlie was here once for Thanksgiving," I cried. "He stirred in a twenty-dollar gold piece. Our Christmas tree bloomed everything that year! It bloomed tinsel pompons on every branch! And gold-ribbon bow-knots! It bloomed a blackboard for Carol! And an ice-cream freezer for mother! And——"
"Our Uncle Charlie was here once for Thanksgiving," I exclaimed. "He dropped in a twenty-dollar gold coin. Our Christmas tree was decked out with everything that year! It was adorned with tinsel pom-poms on every branch! And gold-ribbon bows! It had a blackboard for Carol! And an ice cream maker for Mom! And——"
"And then we take the tree," explained my mother, "and carry it into the parlor. And shut the door."
"And then we take the tree," my mother explained, "and bring it into the living room. Then we close the door."
"And lock the door," said my father.
"And lock the door," said my father.
"And no one ever sees," puzzled young Derry Willard, "what was written in the wishes?"
"And no one ever sees," puzzled young Derry Willard, "what was written in the wishes?"
"No one," I said.
"No one," I said.
Rosalee laughed.
Rosalee giggled.
"Some one—must see," said Rosalee. "'Cause just about a week before Christmas[Pg 18] father and mother always go up to town and——"
"Someone has to check," said Rosalee. "Because just about a week before Christmas[Pg 18] Dad and Mom always go up to town and——"
"Oh, of course mother has to see!" I admitted. "Mother is such friends with Christmas!"
"Oh, of course mom has to see!" I admitted. "Mom is such good friends with Christmas!"
"And father," laughed Rosalee, "is such friends with mother!"
"And Dad," laughed Rosalee, "is such good friends with Mom!"
"Usually," I said.
"Usually," I said.
"Eh?" said father.
"Really?" said father.
"And then," explained mother, "on Christmas morning we all go to the parlor!"
"And then," Mom explained, "on Christmas morning we all go to the living room!"
"And there's a fire in the parlor!" I explained. "A great hollow Yule log all stuffed full of crackly pine-cones and sputtering sparkers and funny-colored blazes that father buys at a fireworks shop! And the candles are lighted! And—and——"
"And there's a fire in the living room!" I explained. "A big hollow Yule log stuffed with crackly pine cones and sputtering fireworks and colorful flames that Dad buys at a fireworks store! And the candles are lit! And—and——"
"And all the tin-foil buds have bloomed into presents!" laughed Derry Willard.
"And all the tin-foil buds have turned into gifts!" laughed Derry Willard.
"Oh, no, of course—not all of them," said mother.[Pg 19]
"Oh, no, of course—not all of them," said Mom.[Pg 19]
"No tree ever fulfills every bud," said my father.
"No tree ever fulfills every bud," my father said.
"There's Carol's camel, of course," laughed Rosalee. "Ever since Carol was big enough to wish, he's always wished for a camel!"
"There's Carol's camel, of course," laughed Rosalee. "Ever since Carol was old enough to want one, they've always wished for a camel!"
"But mostly, of course," I insisted, "he wishes for kites! He got nine kites last Christmas."
"But mostly, of course," I insisted, "he really wants kites! He got nine kites last Christmas."
"Kites?" murmured young Derry Willard.
"Kites?" whispered young Derry Willard.
"Kites!" I said. "I have to talk a good deal. Once always for myself. And all over again for Carol." It seemed a good time to talk for Carol. Perhaps a person who came all the way from Cuba could tell us the thing we wanted to know. "Oh, Carol's very much interested in kites!" I confided. "And in relationships! In Christmas relationships especially! When he grows up he's going to be some sort of a jenny something—I think it's an ologist! Or else keep a kite-shop!"
"Kites!" I said. "I really need to talk a lot. First for myself. And then all over again for Carol." It felt like a perfect moment to speak up for Carol. Maybe someone who traveled all the way from Cuba could tell us what we wanted to know. "Oh, Carol is really into kites!" I shared. "And relationships! Especially Christmas relationships! When he grows up, he's going to be some kind of jenny something—I think it’s an ologist! Or maybe he'll run a kite shop!"
"Yes?" murmured young Derry Willard.
"Yes?" whispered young Derry Willard.
There are two ways I've noticed to make one[Pg 20] listen to you. One is to shout. The other is to whisper. I decided to whisper.
There are two ways I've noticed to make one[Pg 20] listen to you. One is to shout. The other is to whisper. I chose to whisper.
"You don't seem to understand," I whispered. "It's Christmas relationships that are worrying Carol and me so! It worries us dreadfully! Oh, of course we understand all about the Little Baby Christ! And the camels! And the wise men! And the frankincense! That's easy! But who is Santa Claus? Unless—unless—?" It was Carol himself who signaled me to go on. "Unless—he's the Baby Christ's grandfather?" I thought Derry Willard looked a little bit startled. Carol's ears turned bright red. "Oh, of course—we meant on his mother's side!" I hastened to assure him.
"You don't seem to get it," I whispered. "It's Christmas relationships that are really stressing Carol and me out! We're really worried! Oh, of course we know all about the Little Baby Christ! And the camels! And the wise men! And the frankincense! That part's easy! But who is Santa Claus? Unless—unless—?" It was Carol himself who signaled me to continue. "Unless—he's the Baby Christ's grandfather?" I noticed Derry Willard looked a little surprised. Carol's ears turned bright red. "Oh, of course—we meant on his mother's side!" I quickly assured him.
"It is, I admit, a new idea to me," said young Derry Willard. "But I seem to have gotten several new ideas to-day."
"It’s, I’ll admit, a new idea for me," said young Derry Willard. "But I feel like I’ve come up with several new ideas today."
He looked at mother. Mother's mouth looked very funny. He looked at father. Father seemed to be sneezing. He looked at Rosalee. They laughed together. His whole[Pg 21] face suddenly was very laughing. "And what becomes," he asked, "of all the Christmas-tree buds that don't bloom?" It was a funny question. It didn't have a thing in the world to do with Santa Claus being a grandfather.
He looked at his mom. Her mouth looked really funny. He looked at his dad. Dad seemed to be sneezing. He looked at Rosalee. They laughed together. His whole[Pg 21] face suddenly lit up with laughter. "And what happens," he asked, "to all the Christmas-tree buds that don't bloom?" It was a funny question. It had nothing to do with Santa Claus being a grandfather.
"Oh, mother never throws away any of the buds," laughed Rosalee. "She just keeps them year after year and wires them on all over again."
"Oh, Mom never throws away any of the buds," laughed Rosalee. "She just keeps them year after year and attaches them all over again."
"All unfulfilled wishes," said my mother. "Still waiting—still wishing! Maybe they'll bloom some time! Even Carol's—camel," she laughed out suddenly. "Who knows, sonny-boy—but what if you keep on wishing you'll actually travel some day to the Land-Where-Camels-Live? Maybe—maybe you'll own a—a dozen camels?"
"All the wishes that haven't come true," my mom said. "Still waiting—still wishing! Maybe they'll finally come to life one day! Even Carol's—camel," she suddenly laughed. "Who knows, kid—but what if you keep on wishing that you actually travel one day to the Land-Where-Camels-Live? Maybe—maybe you'll own a—a dozen camels?"
"With purple velvet blankets?" I cried. "All trimmed with scarlet silk tassels? And smelling of sandalwood?"
"With purple velvet blankets?" I exclaimed. "All edged with scarlet silk tassels? And smelling like sandalwood?"
"I have never understood," said my father, "that camels smelt of sandalwood."[Pg 22]
"I have never understood," said my father, "that camels smelled like sandalwood."[Pg 22]
Young Derry Willard didn't seem exactly nervous any more. But he jumped up very suddenly. And went and stood by the fire.
Young Derry Willard didn't seem particularly nervous anymore. But he suddenly jumped up and went to stand by the fire.
"It's the finest Christmas idea I ever heard of!" he said. "And if nobody has any objections I'd like to take a little turn myself at budding the Christmas tree!"
"It's the best Christmas idea I've ever heard!" he said. "And if no one has any objections, I'd like to take a little turn myself at budding the Christmas tree!"
"Oh, but you won't be here for Christmas!" cried everybody all at once.
"Oh no, you won't be here for Christmas!" everyone exclaimed together.
"No, I certainly sha'n't be," admitted Derry Willard, "unless I am invited!"
"No, I definitely won't be," admitted Derry Willard, "unless I'm invited!"
"Why, of course, you're invited!" cried everybody. Father seemed to have swallowed something. So mother invited him twice. Father kept right on choking. Everybody was frightened but mother.
"Of course you're invited!" everyone shouted. Dad looked like he was choking on something. So Mom invited him again. Dad continued to choke. Everyone was scared except Mom.
Young Derry Willard had to run like everything to catch his train. It was lucky that he knew what he wanted. With only one wish to make and only half a minute to make it in, it was wonderful that he could decide so quickly! He snatched a pencil! He scribbled[Pg 23] something on a piece of paper! He crumpled the "something" all up tight and tossed it to mother! Carol and mother wadded it into a tin-foil bud! They took the gold-colored tin-foil! Rosalee and I wired it to a branch! We chose the highest branch we could reach! Father held his overcoat for him! Father handed him his bag! Father opened the door for him! He ran as fast as he could! He waved his hand to everybody! His laugh was all sparkly with white teeth!
Young Derry Willard had to sprint to catch his train. It was fortunate that he knew exactly what he wanted. With just one wish to make and only half a minute to do it, it was impressive that he could decide so quickly! He grabbed a pencil! He scribbled[Pg 23] something on a piece of paper! He crumpled that "something" up tight and tossed it to his mom! Carol and mom shaped it into a tin-foil bud! They took the gold-colored tin-foil! Rosalee and I wired it to a branch! We picked the highest branch we could reach! Dad held his overcoat for him! Dad handed him his bag! Dad opened the door for him! He ran as fast as he could! He waved to everyone! His laugh was bright and sparkly with white teeth!
The room seemed a little bit dark after he had gone. The firelight flickered on the tame coon's collar. Sometimes it flickered on the single gold bud. We cracked more nuts and munched more raisins. It made a pleasant noise. The tame crow climbed up on the window-sill and tapped and tapped against the glass. It was not a pleasant noise. The tame coon prowled about under the table looking for crumbs. He walked very flat and swaying and slow, as tho he were stuffed[Pg 24] with wet sand. It gave him a very captive look. His eyes were very bright.
The room felt a bit dark after he left. The firelight flickered on the pet raccoon's collar. Sometimes it flickered on the single gold bud. We cracked more nuts and munched on more raisins. It made a nice sound. The pet crow hopped up onto the window sill and tapped repeatedly against the glass. That was not a nice sound. The pet raccoon prowled around under the table looking for crumbs. He walked flat, swaying and slowly, as if he were stuffed with wet sand. It made him look very much like a captive. His eyes were very bright.
Father got his violin and played some quivery tunes to us. Mother sang a little. It was nice. Carol put fifteen "wishes" on the tree. Seven of them, of course, were old ones about the camel. But all the rest were new. He wished a salt mackerel for his coon. And a gold anklet for his crow. He wouldn't tell what his other wishes were. They looked very pretty! Fifteen silver buds as big as cones scattered all through the green branches! Rosalee made seven violet-colored wishes! I made seven! Mine were green! Father made three! His were blue! Mother's were red! She made three, too! The tree looked more and more as tho rainbows had rained on it! It was beautiful! We thanked mother very much for having a Christmas-tree garden! We felt very thankful toward everybody! We got sleepier and sleepier! We went to bed![Pg 25]
Dad got his violin and played some wobbly tunes for us. Mom sang a bit. It was nice. Carol put fifteen "wishes" on the tree. Seven of them were old ones about the camel, of course. But all the others were new. He wished for a salt mackerel for his raccoon and a gold anklet for his crow. He wouldn’t say what his other wishes were. They looked really pretty! Fifteen silver buds as big as cones scattered all through the green branches! Rosalee made seven violet-colored wishes! I made seven too! Mine were green! Dad made three! His were blue! Mom’s were red! She made three as well! The tree looked more and more like rainbows had fallen on it! It was beautiful! We thanked Mom a lot for having a Christmas-tree garden! We felt really grateful to everyone! We got sleepier and sleepier! We went to bed![Pg 25]
I woke in the night. It was very lonely. I crept down-stairs to get my best story-book. There was a light in the parlor. There were voices. I peeped in. It was my father and my mother. They were looking at the Christmas tree. I got an awful shock. They were having what books call "words" with each other. Only it was "sentences!"
I woke up in the night. It felt really lonely. I quietly went downstairs to grab my favorite storybook. There was a light in the living room. I could hear voices. I peeked in. It was my dad and my mom. They were looking at the Christmas tree. I got a huge shock. They were having what books refer to as "words" with each other. Only it was more like "sentences!"
"Impudent young cub!" said my father. "How dared he stuff a hundred-dollar bill into our Christmas tree?"
"Rude young kid!" my dad said. "How dared he put a hundred-dollar bill in our Christmas tree?"
"Oh, I'm sure he didn't mean to be impudent," said my mother. Her voice was very soft. "He heard the children telling about Uncle Charlie's gold piece. He—he wanted to do something—I suppose. It was too much, of course. He oughtn't to have done it. But——"
"Oh, I'm sure he didn’t mean to be rude," my mother said. Her voice was very gentle. "He heard the kids talking about Uncle Charlie's gold coin. He—he wanted to do something, I guess. It was too much, of course. He shouldn’t have done it. But——"
"A hundred-dollar bill!" said my father. Every time he said it he seemed madder.
"A hundred-dollar bill!" my dad said. Each time he said it, he seemed angrier.
"And yet," said my mother, "if what you say about his father's sugar plantations is correct,[Pg 26] a hundred-dollar bill probably didn't look any larger to him than a—than a two-dollar bill looks to us—this year. We'll simply return it to him very politely—as soon as we know his address. He was going West somewhere, wasn't he? We shall hear, I suppose."
"And yet," my mother said, "if what you say about his father's sugar plantations is true,[Pg 26] a hundred-dollar bill probably didn't seem any bigger to him than a two-dollar bill does to us this year. We'll just return it to him very politely—as soon as we find out his address. He was heading out West somewhere, right? I guess we'll hear soon enough."
"Hear nothing!" said my father. "I won't have it! Did you see how he stared at Rosalee? It was outrageous! Absolutely outrageous! And Rosalee? I was ashamed of Rosalee! Positively ashamed!"
"Hear nothing!" my father said. "I won’t have it! Did you see how he stared at Rosalee? It was ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous! And Rosalee? I was embarrassed by Rosalee! Totally embarrassed!"
"But you see—it was really the first young man that Rosalee has ever had a chance to observe," said my mother. "If you had ever been willing to let boys come to the house—maybe she wouldn't have considered this one such a—such a thrilling curiosity."
"But you see—it was really the first young man that Rosalee has ever had a chance to observe," said my mother. "If you had ever been willing to let boys come to the house—maybe she wouldn't have considered this one such a—such a thrilling curiosity."
"Stuff and nonsense!" said my father. "She's only a child! There'll be no boys come to this house for years and years!"
"That's ridiculous!" my father said. "She's just a kid! No boys are coming to this house for a long time!"
"She's seventeen," said my mother. "You and I were married when I was seventeen."[Pg 27]
"She's seventeen," my mom said. "You and I got married when I was seventeen."[Pg 27]
"That's different!" said my father. He tried to smile. He couldn't. Mother smiled quite a good deal. He jumped up and began to pace the room. He demanded things. "Do you mean to say," he demanded, "that you want your daughter to marry this strange young man?"
"That's different!" my father said. He tried to smile but couldn’t. My mother smiled a lot. He jumped up and started pacing the room. He demanded things. "Are you really saying," he insisted, "that you want your daughter to marry this odd young man?"
"Not at all," said mother.
"Not at all," Mom said.
Father turned at the edge of the rug and looked back. His face was all frowned. "And I don't like him anyway," he said. "He's too dark!"
Father turned at the edge of the rug and looked back. His face was all scrunched up. "And I don’t like him anyway," he said. "He's too dark!"
"His father roomed with you at college, you say?" asked my mother very softly. "Do you remember him—specially?"
"His dad shared a room with you in college, right?" my mom asked gently. "Do you remember him—specifically?"
"Do I remember him?" cried my father. He looked astonished. "Do I remember him? Why, he was the best friend I ever had in the world! Do I remember him?"
"Do I remember him?" my father exclaimed. He looked shocked. "Do I remember him? He was the best friend I ever had in the world! Do I remember him?"
"And he was—very fair?" asked my mother.[Pg 28]
"And he was—really handsome?" asked my mother.[Pg 28]
"Fair?" cried my father. "He was as dark as a Spaniard!"
"Fair?" my father exclaimed. "He was as dark as a Spaniard!"
"And yet—reasonably—respectable?" asked my mother.
"And yet—reasonably—respectable?" my mom asked.
"Respectable?" cried my father. "Why, he was the highest-minded man I ever knew in my life!"
"Respectable?" my father exclaimed. "He was the most honorable person I’ve ever known in my life!"
"And so—dark?" said my mother. She began to laugh. It was what we call her cut-finger laugh, her bandage laugh. It rolled all around father's angriness and made it feel better almost at once.
"And so—dark?" my mom said. She started to laugh. It was what we call her cut-finger laugh, her bandage laugh. It wrapped around dad's anger and made it feel better almost instantly.
"Well, I can't help it," said father. He shook his head just the way Carol does sometimes when he's planning to be pleasant as soon as it's convenient. "Well, I can't help it! Exceptions, of course, are exceptions! But Cuba? A climate all mushy with warmth and sunshine! What possible stamina can a young man have who's grown up on sugar-cane sirup and—and bananas?"[Pg 29]
"Well, I can't help it," said Dad. He shook his head just like Carol does sometimes when he plans to be nice as soon as it works for him. "Well, I can't help it! Exceptions, of course, are exceptions! But Cuba? A climate all soft with warmth and sunshine! What kind of strength can a young man possibly have who's grown up on sugar-cane syrup and—and bananas?"[Pg 29]
"He seemed to have teeth," said my mother. "He ate two helpings of turkey!"
"He looked like he had teeth," my mom said. "He ate two servings of turkey!"
"He had a gold cigaret-case!" said my father. "Gold!"
"He had a gold cigarette case!" said my father. "Gold!"
My mother began to laugh all over again.
My mom started laughing all over again.
"Maybe his Sunday-school class gave it to him," she said. It seemed to be a joke. Once father's Sunday-school class gave him a high silk hat. Father laughed a little.
"Maybe his Sunday school class gave it to him," she said. It sounded like a joke. Once, Dad's Sunday school class gave him a fancy silk hat. Dad chuckled a bit.
Mother looked very beautiful. She ruffled her hair a little on father's shoulder. She pinked her cheeks from the inside some way. She glanced up at the topmost branch of the Christmas tree. The gold bud showed quite plainly.
Mother looked really beautiful. She tousled her hair a bit on Dad's shoulder. She blushed in a way that lit up her cheeks. She glanced up at the highest branch of the Christmas tree. The gold ornament stood out clearly.
"I—I wonder—what he wished," she said. "We'll have to look—some time."
"I—I'm curious—about what he wanted," she said. "We'll need to check—sometime."
I made a little creak in my bones. I didn't mean to. My father and mother both turned round. They started to explore!
I let out a small creak in my bones. I didn't mean to. My mom and dad both turned around. They started to investigate!
I ran like everything!
I ran like crazy!
I think it was very kind of God to make[Pg 30] December have the very shortest days in the year!
I think it was really nice of God to make[Pg 30] December have the shortest days of the year!
Summer, of course, is nice! The long, sunny light! Lying awake till 'most nine o'clock every night to hear the blackness come rustling! Such a lot of early mornings everywhere and birds singing! Sizzling-hot noons with cool milk to drink! The pleasant nap before it's time to play again!
Summer, of course, is great! The long, sunny days! Staying awake until almost nine every night to hear the darkness rustling in! So many early mornings everywhere with birds singing! Scorching hot afternoons with cold milk to sip on! The nice nap before it's time to play again!
But if December should feel long, what would children do? About Christmas, I mean! Even the best way you look at it, Christmas is always the furthest-off day that I ever heard about!
But if December starts to drag on, what would kids do? I'm talking about Christmas! No matter how you look at it, Christmas always feels like the farthest-off day I’ve ever heard of!
My mother was always very kind about making Christmas come just as soon as it could. There wasn't much daylight. Not in December. Not in the North. Not where we lived. Except for the snow, each day was like a little jet-black jewel-box with a single gold coin in the center. The gold coin in the center was noon. It was very bright. It was[Pg 31] really the only bright light in the day. We spent it for Christmas. Every minute of it. We popped corn and strung it into lovely loops. We threaded cranberries. We stuffed three Yule logs with crackly cones and colored fires. We made little candies. All round the edges of the bright noon-time, of course, there was morning and night. And lamplight. It wasn't convenient to burn a great many lamps. At night father and mother sat in the lamplight and taught us our lessons. Or read stories to us. We children sat in the shadows and stared into the light. The light made us blink. The tame crow and the tame coon sat in the shadows with us. We played we were all jungle-animals together waiting outside a man's camp to be Christianized. It was pleasant. Mother read to us about a woman who didn't like Christmas specially. She was going to petition Congress to have the Christ Child born in leap-year so that Christmas couldn't come oftener than[Pg 32] once in four years. It worried us a little. Father laughed. Mother had only one worry in the world. She had it every year.
My mom was always super sweet about making Christmas come as soon as possible. There wasn’t much daylight. Not in December. Not up North. Not where we lived. Apart from the snow, each day felt like a tiny black jewel box with a single gold coin in the middle. The gold coin was noon. It was really bright. It was[Pg 31] honestly the only bright light of the day. We spent every minute of it on Christmas activities. We popped corn and strung it into beautiful loops. We threaded cranberries. We stuffed three Yule logs with crackly cones and colorful flames. We made little candies. Of course, around the edges of that bright noon-time, there was morning and night. And lamplight. It wasn’t practical to burn too many lamps. At night, Dad and Mom would sit in the lamplight and teach us our lessons or read us stories. We kids sat in the shadows, gazing into the light. The light made us squint. The tame crow and the tame raccoon sat in the shadows with us. We pretended we were all jungle animals waiting outside a camp to be Christianized. It was nice. Mom read to us about a woman who didn’t particularly like Christmas. She was going to petition Congress to have the Christ Child born in a leap year so that Christmas wouldn’t come more than[Pg 32] once every four years. It worried us a bit. Dad laughed. Mom had only one worry in the whole world. She had it every year.
"Oh, my darling, darling Winter garden!" worried my mother. "Wouldn't it be awful if I ever had to die just as my best Christmas tree was coming into bloom?"
"Oh, my darling, darling Winter garden!" my mother fretted. "Wouldn't it be awful if I ever had to die just as my best Christmas tree was starting to bloom?"
It frightened us a little. But not too much. Father had the same worry every Spring about his Spring garden. Every Maytime when the tulip-buds were so fat and tight you could fairly hear them splitting, father worried.
It scared us a little, but not too much. Dad had the same concern every Spring about his garden. Every May when the tulip buds were so plump and tight you could almost hear them bursting, Dad worried.
"Oh, wouldn't it be perfectly terrible if I should die before I find out whether those new 'Rembrandts' are everything that the catalogue promised? Or whether the 'Bizards' are really finer than the 'Byblooms'? Now, if it was in phlox-time," worried my father. "Especially if the phlox turned out magenta, one could slip away with scarcely a pang. But in tulip-time——?"[Pg 33]
"Oh, wouldn't it be completely awful if I were to die before I found out if those new 'Rembrandts' are everything the catalog promised? Or if the 'Bizards' are really better than the 'Byblooms'? Now, if it were during phlox season," my father worried. "Especially if the phlox turned out magenta, you could leave with hardly any pain. But in tulip season——?"[Pg 33]
We promised our mother she should never die at Christmas-time. We promised our father he should never die at tulip-time. We brought them rubbers. And kneeling-cushions. We carried their coats. We found their trowels. We kept them just as well as we could.
We told our mom that she would never die at Christmas. We told our dad that he would never die in tulip season. We brought them rain boots. And kneeling pads. We helped them with their coats. We found their garden tools. We took care of them as best as we could.
But, most of all, of course, we were busy wondering about our presents.
But, most importantly, we were all focused on wondering what our gifts would be.
It hurries Christmas a lot to have a Christmas tree growing in your parlor for a whole month. Even if the parlor door is locked.
It really speeds up Christmas to have a Christmas tree in your living room for an entire month. Even if the living room door is locked.
Lots of children have a Christmas tree for a whole month. But it's a going tree. Its going is very sad. Just one little wee day of perfect splendor it has. And then it begins to die. Every day it dies more. It tarnishes. Its presents are all gathered. Its pop-corn gets stale. The cranberries smell. It looks scragglier and scragglier. It gets brittle. Its needles begin to fall. Pretty soon it's nothing but a clutter. It must be dreadful to start as[Pg 34] a Christmas tree and end by being nothing but a clutter.
Lots of kids have a Christmas tree for a whole month. But it's a going tree. Its going is really sad. It only has one tiny day of perfect beauty. Then it starts to die. Every day it worsens. It loses its shine. All the presents are taken away. The popcorn goes stale. The cranberries smell bad. It looks messier and messier. It becomes brittle. Its needles start to fall off. Before long, it's just a clutter. It must be awful to begin as a Christmas tree and end up as nothing but a clutter.
But mother's Christmas tree is a coming tree. Every day for a month it's growing beautifuler and beautifuler! The parlor is cool. It lives in a nice box of earth. It has water every day like a dog. It never dies. It just disappears. When we come down to breakfast the day after Christmas it simply isn't there. That's all. It's immortal. Always when you remember it, it's absolutely perfect.
But Mom's Christmas tree is a growing tree. Every day for a month, it's becoming more and more beautiful! The living room is cool. It’s in a nice box of soil. It gets water every day like a dog. It never dies. It just vanishes. When we come down for breakfast the day after Christmas, it simply isn't there. That's it. It's immortal. Whenever you think of it, it's absolutely perfect.
We liked very much to see the Christmas tree come. Every Sunday afternoon my mother unlocked the parlor door. We were not allowed to go in. But we could peep all we wanted to. It made your heart crinkle up like a handful of tinsel to watch the tin-foil buds change into presents.
We really loved seeing the Christmas tree come. Every Sunday afternoon, my mom would unlock the parlor door. We weren't allowed to go in, but we could peek as much as we wanted. It made your heart feel all fluttery, like a handful of tinsel, to watch the shiny foil buds turn into presents.
Two of Carol's silver buds had bloomed. One of them had bloomed into a white-paper package that looked like a book. The other[Pg 35] one had strange humps. Only one of Rosalee's violet buds had bloomed. But it was a very large box tied with red ribbon. It looked like a best hat. One of father's blue buds had bloomed. One of mother's red buds. They bloomed very small. Small enough to be diamonds. Or collar-buttons. 'Way back on the further side of the tree I could see that one of my green buds had bloomed. It was a long little box. It was a narrow little box. I can most always tell when there's a doll in a box. Young Derry Willard's golden bud hadn't bloomed at all. Maybe it was a late bloomer. Some things are. The tame coon's salt fish, I've noticed, never blooms at all until just the very last moment before we go into the parlor Christmas morning. Mother says there's a reason. We didn't bother much about reasons. The parlor was very cold. It smelt very cold and mysterious. We didn't see how we could wait!
Two of Carol's silver buds had bloomed. One of them turned into a white-paper package that looked like a book. The other[Pg 35] one had weird bumps. Only one of Rosalee's violet buds had bloomed. But it was a very large box tied with red ribbon. It looked like the best hat. One of Dad's blue buds had bloomed. One of Mom's red buds. They bloomed very small. Small enough to be diamonds. Or collar buttons. Way back on the far side of the tree, I could see that one of my green buds had bloomed. It was a long, narrow little box. I can usually tell when there's a doll in a box. Young Derry Willard's golden bud hadn't bloomed at all. Maybe it was a late bloomer. Some things are. I've noticed the tame coon's salt fish never blooms until just the last moment before we go into the parlor on Christmas morning. Mom says there's a reason. We didn't worry too much about reasons. The parlor was very cold. It smelled very cold and mysterious. We didn't see how we could wait!
Carol helped us to wait. Not being able[Pg 36] to talk, Carol has plenty of time to think. He can write, of course. But spelling is very hard. So he doesn't often waste his spelling on just facts. He waits till he gets enough facts to make a philosophy before he tries to spell it: He made a philosophy about Christmas coming so slow. He made it on the blackboard in the kitchen. He wrote it very tall.
Carol helped us to wait. Since he couldn't talk[Pg 36], Carol had plenty of time to think. He could write, of course. But spelling was really hard. So he didn't often waste his spelling on just facts. He waited until he had enough facts to form a philosophy before he tried to spell it out. He created a philosophy about Christmas taking so long to arrive. He wrote it on the blackboard in the kitchen. He wrote it very tall.
"Christmas has got to come," he wrote. "It's part of time. Everything that's part of time has got to come. Nothing can stop it. It runs like a river. It runs down-hill. It can't help itself. I should worry."
"Christmas has to come," he wrote. "It's part of time. Everything that's part of time has to come. Nothing can stop it. It flows like a river. It flows downhill. It can't help itself. I shouldn't worry."
Young Derry Willard never wrote at all. He telegraphed his "manners" instead. "Thank you for Thanksgiving Day," he telegraphed. "It was very wonderful." He didn't say anything else. He never even mentioned his address.
Young Derry Willard never wrote at all. He sent his "manners" via telegram instead. "Thanks for Thanksgiving Day," he telegraphed. "It was really wonderful." He didn't say anything else. He never even mentioned his address.
"U—m—m," said my father.
"Um," said my father.
"It's because of the hundred-dollar bill,"[Pg 37] said my mother. "He doesn't want to give us any chance to return it."
"It's because of the hundred-dollar bill,"[Pg 37] my mom said. "He doesn't want to give us any chance to return it."
"Humph!" said my father. "Do we look poor?"
"Humph!" my dad said. "Do we look broke?"
My mother glanced at the worn spot in the dining-room rug. She glanced at my father's coat.
My mom looked at the worn spot in the dining room rug. She looked at my dad's coat.
"We certainly do!" she laughed. "But young Derry Willard didn't leave us a hundred-dollar bill to try and make us look any richer. All young Derry Willard was trying to do was to make us look more Christmassy!"
"We definitely do!" she laughed. "But young Derry Willard didn't leave us a hundred-dollar bill to make us look any richer. All young Derry Willard was trying to do was help us look more festive for Christmas!"
"Well, we can't accept it!" said my father.
"Well, we can't accept that!" my father said.
"Of course we can't accept it!" said my mother. "It was a mistake. But at least it was a very kind mistake."
"Of course we can't accept it!" my mom said. "It was a mistake. But at least it was a really nice mistake."
"Kind?" said my father.
"Nice?" said my father.
"Very kind," said my mother. "No matter how dark a young man may be or how much cane-sirup and bananas he has consumed, he can't be absolutely depraved as long as he[Pg 38] goes about the world trying to make things look more Christmassy!"
"Very kind," said my mother. "No matter how troubled a young man might be or how much cane syrup and bananas he's had, he can't be completely bad as long as he[Pg 38] goes around trying to make things feel more festive!"
My father looked up rather sharply.
My dad looked up pretty quickly.
My mother gave a funny little gasp.
My mom let out a funny little gasp.
"Oh, it's all right," she said. "We'll manage some way! But who ever heard of a chicken-bone hung on a Christmas tree? Or a slice of roast beef?"
"Oh, it's fine," she said. "We'll figure something out! But who has ever heard of a chicken bone hanging on a Christmas tree? Or a slice of roast beef?"
"Some children don't get—anything," said my father. He looked solemn. "Money is very scarce," he said.
"Some kids don't get—anything," my dad said, looking serious. "Money is really tight," he added.
"It always is," said my mother. "But that's no reason why presents ought to be scarce."
"It always is," my mom said. "But that doesn't mean gifts should be hard to come by."
My father jumped up.
My dad jumped up.
My father laughed.
Dad laughed.
"Great Heavens, woman!" he said. "Can't anything dull your courage?"
"Goodness, woman!" he said. "Is there anything that can shake your bravery?"
"Not my—Christmas courage!" said my mother.
"Not my—Christmas courage!" my mom said.
My father reached out suddenly and patted her hand.[Pg 39]
My dad suddenly reached over and tapped her hand.[Pg 39]
"Oh, all right," he said. "I suppose we'll manage somehow."
"Oh, fine," he said. "I guess we'll figure something out."
"Of course we'll manage somehow," said my mother.
"Of course we'll figure it out somehow," my mom said.
I ran back as fast as I could to Carol and Rosalee.
I ran back as quickly as I could to Carol and Rosalee.
We thought a good deal about young Derry Willard coming. We talked about it among ourselves. We never talked about it to my father or my mother. I don't know why. I went and got my best story-book and showed the Fairy Prince to Carol. Carol stared and stared. There were palms and bananas in the picture. There was a lace-paper castle. There was a moat. There was a fiery charger. There were dragons. The Fairy Prince was all in white armor, with a white plume in his hat. It grasped your heart, it was so beautiful. I showed the picture to Rosalee. She was surprised. She turned as white as the plume in the Fairy Prince's hat. She put the book in[Pg 40] her top bureau-drawer with her ribbons. We wondered and wondered whether young Derry Willard would come. Carol thought he wouldn't. I thought he would. Rosalee wouldn't say. Carol thought it would be too cold. Carol insisted that he was a tropic. And that tropics couldn't stand the cold. That if a single breath of cold air struck a tropic he blew up and froze. Rosalee didn't want young Derry Willard to blow up and freeze. Anybody could see that she didn't. I comforted her. I said he would come in a huge fur coat. Carol insisted that tropics didn't have huge fur coats. "All right, then," I said. "He will come in a huge feather coat! Blue-bird feathers it will be made of! With a soft brown breast! When he fluffs himself he will look like the god of all the birds and of next Spring! Hawks and all evil things will scuttle away!"
We thought a lot about young Derry Willard coming. We talked about it among ourselves. We never mentioned it to my dad or mom. I don’t know why. I went and got my favorite storybook and showed the Fairy Prince to Carol. Carol stared and stared. There were palm trees and bananas in the picture. There was a lace-paper castle. There was a moat. There was a fiery horse. There were dragons. The Fairy Prince was dressed in all white armor, with a white plume in his hat. It took your breath away; it was so beautiful. I showed the picture to Rosalee. She was surprised. She turned as pale as the plume in the Fairy Prince's hat. She put the book in[Pg 40] her top drawer with her ribbons. We wondered and wondered whether young Derry Willard would come. Carol thought he wouldn’t. I thought he would. Rosalee wouldn’t say. Carol thought it would be too cold. Carol insisted that he was from the tropics and that tropical people couldn’t handle the cold. She said if a single breath of cold air hit a tropical person, they’d blow up and freeze. Rosalee didn’t want young Derry Willard to blow up and freeze. Anyone could see that she didn’t. I tried to comfort her. I said he would come in a huge fur coat. Carol insisted that people from the tropics don’t wear huge fur coats. “Okay, then,” I said. “He will come in a huge feather coat! Made of bluebird feathers! With a soft brown chest! When he puffs himself up, he will look like the god of all birds and of next Spring! Hawks and all evil things will scurry away!”
There certainly was something the matter with the Christmas tree that year.[Pg 41]
There definitely was something wrong with the Christmas tree that year.[Pg 41]
It grew. But it didn't grow very fast.
It grew. But it didn't grow very quickly.
My father said that perhaps the fertilizer hadn't been rich enough.
My dad said that maybe the fertilizer wasn't strong enough.
My mother said that maybe all Christmas trees were blooming rather late this year. Seasons changed so.
My mom said that maybe all the Christmas trees are blooming a bit late this year. Seasons change like that.
My father and mother didn't go away to town at all. Not for a single day.
My dad and mom didn't go to town at all. Not even for a single day.
Late at night after we'd gone to bed we heard them hammering things and running the sewing-machine.
Late at night, after we had gone to bed, we heard them hammering and running the sewing machine.
Carol thought it smelt like kites.
Carol thought it smelled like kites.
Rosalee said it sounded to her like a blue silk waist.
Rosalee said it sounded to her like a blue silk blouse.
It looked like a worry to me.
It seemed like a concern to me.
It got colder and colder. It snowed and snowed.
It kept getting colder and colder. It snowed continuously.
Christmas eve it snowed some more. It was beautiful. We were very much excited. We clapped our hands. We stood at the window to see how white the world was. I thought about the wise men's camels. I wondered[Pg 42] if they could carry snow in their stomachs as well as rain. Mother said camels were tropics and didn't know anything about snow. It seemed queer.
Christmas Eve, it snowed again. It was beautiful. We were really excited. We clapped our hands and stood by the window to see how white everything was. I thought about the wise men's camels and wondered if they could carry snow in their stomachs just like they did with rain. Mom said camels lived in the tropics and didn’t know anything about snow. That felt odd.
A sleigh drove up to the door. There were three men in it. Two of them got out. The first one was young Derry Willard. It was a fur coat that he had on. He was full of bundles. My father gave one gasp.
A sleigh pulled up to the door. There were three men in it. Two of them got out. The first one was young Derry Willard. He was wearing a fur coat. He was loaded with packages. My father gasped.
"The—the impudent young—" gasped my father.
"The—those rude young people—" gasped my father.
We ran to the door. The second man looked just exactly like young Derry Willard except that he had on a gray beard and a gray slouch hat. He looked like the picture of "a planter" in "Uncle Tom's Cabin." My father and he took just one look at each other. And then suddenly they began to pound each other on the back and to hug each other. "Hello, old top!" they shouted. "Hello—hello—hello!" Derry Willard's father cried a little. Everybody cried a little or shouted[Pg 43] or pounded somebody on the back except young Derry Willard and Rosalee. Young Derry Willard and Rosalee just stood and looked at each other.
We ran to the door. The second man looked just like young Derry Willard, except he had a gray beard and a gray slouch hat. He resembled the illustration of "a planter" in "Uncle Tom's Cabin." My father and he exchanged a quick glance, and then suddenly they began to slap each other on the back and hug each other. "Hello, old pal!" they shouted. "Hello—hello—hello!" Derry Willard's father chuckled a bit. Everyone shed a few tears or shouted[Pg 43] or patted someone on the back, except for young Derry Willard and Rosalee. They just stood there and looked at each other.
"Well—well—well!" said Derry Willard's father over and over and over. "Twenty years! Twenty years!" The front hall was full of bundles! We fell on them when we stepped. And we fell on new ones when we tried to get up. Whenever Derry Willard's father wasn't crying he was laughing! "So this is the wife?" he said. "And these are the children? Which is Rosalee? Ah! A very pretty girl! But not as pretty as your wife!" he laughed. "Twenty years! Twenty years!" he began all over again. "A bit informal, eh? Descending on you like this? But I couldn't resist the temptation after I'd seen Derry. We Southerners, you know! Our impulses are romantic! Tuck us away anywhere! Or turn us out—if you must!"
"Well—well—well!" Derry Willard's father kept saying. "Twenty years! Twenty years!" The front hall was packed with bundles! We tripped over them as we walked in. And we stumbled on new ones when we tried to stand up. Whenever Derry Willard's father wasn't crying, he was laughing! "So this is the wife?" he asked. "And these are the kids? Which one is Rosalee? Ah! A very pretty girl! But not as pretty as your wife!" he chuckled. "Twenty years! Twenty years!" he started again. "A bit casual, huh? Showing up like this? But I just couldn’t help myself after seeing Derry. We Southerners, you know! Our instincts are romantic! Just tuck us away anywhere! Or send us off—if you must!"
My father was like a wild man for joy![Pg 44] He forgot all about everything except "twenty years ago."
My dad was like a wild man from happiness![Pg 44] He completely forgot everything except "twenty years ago."
We had to put the two Mr. Derry Willards to bed in the parlor. There was no other room. They insisted on sleeping with the Christmas tree. They had camped under every kind of branch and twig in the world, they said. But never had they camped under a Christmas tree.
We had to put the two Mr. Derry Willards to bed in the living room. There was no other space available. They insisted on sleeping next to the Christmas tree. They claimed they had camped under every type of branch and twig imaginable. But never had they camped under a Christmas tree.
Father talked and talked and talked! Derry Willard's father talked and talked and talked! It was about college! It was about girls! It was about boys! It was about all sorts of pranks! Not any of it was about studies! Mother sat and laughed at them!
Father went on and on and on! Derry Willard's dad went on and on and on! He talked about college! He talked about girls! He talked about boys! He talked about all kinds of pranks! None of it was about schoolwork! Mom just sat there and laughed at them!
Rosalee and young Derry Willard sat and looked at each other. Carol and I played checkers. Everybody forgot us. I don't know who put me to bed.
Rosalee and young Derry Willard sat across from each other, just looking at each other. Carol and I played checkers. Everyone else forgot about us. I have no idea who ended up putting me to bed.
When we came down-stairs the next morning and went into the parlor to see the Christmas tree we screamed![Pg 45]
When we came downstairs the next morning and went into the living room to see the Christmas tree, we screamed![Pg 45]
Every single weeney-teeny branch of it had sprouted tinsel tassels! There were tinsel stars all over it! Red candles were blazing! Glass icicles glistened! There were candy canes! There were tin trumpets! Little white-paper presents stuck out everywhere through the branches! Big white presents piled like a snowdrift all around the base of the tree!
Every tiny little branch was covered in shiny tinsel tassels! There were tinsel stars everywhere! Red candles were glowing! Glass icicles sparkled! There were candy canes! There were tin trumpets! Little white paper gifts peeked out from all over the branches! Big white gifts were stacked like a snowdrift around the base of the tree!
Young Derry Willard's father seemed to be still laughing. He rubbed his hands together.
Young Derry Willard's dad still seemed to be laughing. He rubbed his hands together.
"Excuse me, good people," he laughed, "for taking such liberties with your tree! But it's twenty years since I've had a chance to take a real whack at a Christmas tree! Palms, of course, are all right, and banana groves aren't half bad! But when it comes to real landscape effect—give me a Christmas tree in a New England parlor!"
"Excuse me, everyone," he laughed, "for being so bold with your tree! But it's been twenty years since I’ve had the chance to really decorate a Christmas tree! Palms are fine, and banana groves aren’t too bad! But when it comes to creating a true festive atmosphere—nothing beats a Christmas tree in a New England living room!"
"Palms?" we gasped. "Banana-trees?"
"Palm trees?" we gasped. "Banana trees?"
Young Derry Willard distributed the presents.[Pg 46]
Young Derry Willard handed out the gifts.[Pg 46]
For my father there were boxes and boxes of cigars! And an order on some Dutch importing house for five hundred green tulips! Father almost sw—ooned.
For my dad, there were tons of boxes of cigars! And an order from some Dutch importing company for five hundred green tulips! Dad nearly sw—ooned.
For mother there was a little gold chain with a single pearl in it! And a box of oranges as big as a chicken-coop!
For Mom, there was a small gold chain with a single pearl on it! And a box of oranges as large as a chicken coop!
I got four dolls! And a paint-box! One of the dolls was jet-black. She was funny. When you squeaked her stomach she grinned her mouth and said, "Oh, lor', child!"
I got four dolls! And a paint set! One of the dolls was jet-black. She was hilarious. When you squeezed her stomach, she smiled and said, "Oh, wow, kid!"
Rosalee had a white crêpe shawl all fringes and gay-colored birds of paradise! Rosalee had a fan made out of ivory and gold. Rosalee had a gold basket full of candied violets. Rosalee had a silver hand-mirror carved all round the edge with grasses and lilies like the edges of a little pool.
Rosalee had a white crêpe shawl with fringes and brightly colored paradise birds! Rosalee had a fan made of ivory and gold. Rosalee had a gold basket filled with candied violets. Rosalee had a silver hand mirror carved all around the edge with grass and lilies like the borders of a small pond.
Carol had a big, big box that looked like a magic lantern. And on every branch where he had hung his seven wishes for a camel[Pg 47] there was a white card instead with the one word "Palestine" written on it.
Carol had a huge box that looked like a magic lantern. And on every branch where he had hung his seven wishes for a camel[Pg 47], there was a white card instead with the word "Palestine" written on it.
Everybody looked very much perplexed.
Everyone looked very confused.
Young Derry Willard's father laughed.
Young Derry Willard's dad laughed.
"If the youngster wants camels," he said, "he must have camels! I'm going to Palestine one of these days before so very long. I'll take him with me. There must be heaps of camels still in Palestine."
"If the kid wants camels," he said, "he should have camels! I'm planning to go to Palestine soon. I'll take him with me. There must be tons of camels still in Palestine."
"Going to Palestine before—long," gasped my mother. "How wonderful!"
"Going to Palestine before—long," my mother gasped. "How amazing!"
Everybody turned and looked at Carol.
Everybody turned and looked at Carol.
"Want to go, son, eh?" laughed Derry Willard's father.
"Want to go, son, huh?" laughed Derry Willard's dad.
Carol's mouth quivered. He looked at my mother.
Carol's lips trembled. He glanced at my mom.
My mother's mouth quivered. A little red came into her checks.
My mother's lips trembled. A hint of red appeared on her cheeks.
"He wants me to thank you very much, Mr. Willard," she said. "But he thinks perhaps you wouldn't want to take him to Palestine—if you knew that he can't—talk."[Pg 48]
"He wants me to thank you so much, Mr. Willard," she said. "But he thinks maybe you wouldn't want to take him to Palestine—if you knew that he can't—speak."[Pg 48]
"Can't talk?" cried Mr. Derry Willard. "Can't talk?" He looked at mother! He looked at Carol! He swallowed very hard! Then suddenly he began to laugh again!
"Can't talk?" shouted Mr. Derry Willard. "Can't talk?" He glanced at mom! He glanced at Carol! He swallowed very hard! Then all of a sudden, he started laughing again!
"Good enough!" he cried. "He's the very boy I'm looking for! We'll rear him for a diplomat!"
"Good enough!" he exclaimed. "He's exactly the kid I'm looking for! We'll raise him to be a diplomat!"
Carol got a hammer and opened his big box. It was a magic lantern! He was wild with joy! He beat his fists on the top of the box! He stamped his feet! He came and burrowed his head in mother's shoulder. When Carol burrows his head in my mother's shoulder it means, "Call me anything you want to!"
Carol grabbed a hammer and opened his big box. It was a magic lantern! He was over the moon with joy! He pounded his fists on the top of the box! He stamped his feet! He came and buried his head in his mother's shoulder. When Carol buries his head in my mother's shoulder, it means, "Call me whatever you want!"
Mother called him anything she wanted to. Right out loud before everybody. "Shining Face!" said my mother.
Mother called him whatever she felt like. Right out loud in front of everyone. "Shining Face!" my mom said.
There were lots of other presents besides.
There were plenty of other gifts as well.
My father had made a giant kite for Carol. It looked nine feet tall. My father had made the dearest little wooden work-box for my[Pg 49] mother. There was a blue silk waist for Rosalee. My mother had knitted me a doll! Its body was knitted! Its cheeks were knitted! Its nose was knitted! It was wonderful!
My dad had made a huge kite for Carol. It was about nine feet tall. He also crafted a charming little wooden workbox for my[Pg 49] mom. There was a blue silk dress for Rosalee. My mom had knitted me a doll! Its body was knitted! Its cheeks were knitted! Its nose was knitted! It was amazing!
We ate the peppermint-candy canes. All the pink stripes. All the white stripes. We sang carols. We sang,
We ate the peppermint candy canes. All the pink stripes. All the white stripes. We sang carols. We sang,
In the crotch of the sycamore tree!
But the Little Son of God had nowhere to rest His head. When He came to Earth for me!
Rosalee's voice was like a lark in the sky. Carol's face looked like two larks in the sky.
Rosalee's voice was like a lark soaring in the sky. Carol's face looked like two larks flying together in the sky.
The tame crow stayed in the kitchen. He was afraid of so many strangers. The tame coon wasn't afraid of anything. He crawled in and out of all the wrapping-papers, sniffing and sniffing. It made a lovely crackling sound.
The tame crow hung out in the kitchen. He was scared of all the strangers. The tame raccoon wasn’t scared of anything. He crawled in and out of the wrapping paper, sniffing and sniffing. It made a nice crinkling sound.
Everything smelt like fir balsam. It was more beautiful every minute. Even after[Pg 50] every last present was picked from the tree, the tree was still so fat and fluffy with tinsel and glass balls that it didn't look robbed at all.
Everything smelled like fir balsam. It became more beautiful with each passing minute. Even after[Pg 50] every single gift was taken from the tree, the tree still looked so full and fluffy with tinsel and glass ornaments that it didn't seem stripped at all.
We just sat back and stared at it.
We just sat back and looked at it.
Young Derry Willard stared only at the topmost branch.
Young Derry Willard focused solely on the highest branch.
Father looked suddenly at mother. Mother looked suddenly at Rosalee. Rosalee looked suddenly at Carol. Carol looked suddenly at me. I looked suddenly at the tame coon. The tame coon kept right on crackling through the wrapping-papers.
Father suddenly glanced at mother. Mother suddenly glanced at Rosalee. Rosalee suddenly glanced at Carol. Carol suddenly glanced at me. I suddenly glanced at the pet raccoon. The pet raccoon kept right on rustling through the wrapping paper.
Young Derry Willard made a funny little face. There seemed to be dust in his throat. His voice was very dry. He laughed.
Young Derry Willard made a funny little face. It seemed like there was dust in his throat. His voice was really dry. He laughed.
"My wish," said young Derry Willard, "seems to have been the only one that—didn't bloom."
"My wish," said young Derry Willard, "seems to have been the only one that—didn't come true."
I almost died with shame. Carol almost died with shame. In all that splendiferousness, in all that generosity, poor Derry Willard's[Pg 51] gold-budded wish was the only one that hadn't at least bloomed into something!
I was so embarrassed I could hardly breathe. Carol was just as mortified. With all that splendor and generosity, poor Derry Willard's[Pg 51] golden wish was the only one that hadn't even turned into anything!
Rosalee jumped up very suddenly and ran into the dining-room. She looked as tho she was going to cry.
Rosalee suddenly jumped up and ran into the dining room. She looked like she was about to cry.
Young Derry Willard followed her. He didn't run. He walked very slowly. He looked a little troubled.
Young Derry Willard followed her. He didn't run. He walked very slowly. He looked a bit uneasy.
Carol and I began at once to fold the wrapping-papers very usefully.
Carol and I immediately started to fold the wrapping paper efficiently.
Young Derry Willard's father looked at my father. All of a sudden he wasn't laughing at all. Or rubbing his hands.
Young Derry Willard's dad looked at my dad. Suddenly, he wasn’t laughing anymore. Or rubbing his hands.
"I'm sorry, Dick," he said. "I've always rather calculated somehow on having my boy's wishes come true."
"I'm sorry, Dick," he said. "I’ve always kind of counted on making my son's wishes come true."
My father spoke a little sharply.
My dad spoke a bit sharply.
"You must have a lot of confidence," he said, "in your boy's wishes!"
"You must have a lot of faith," he said, "in your son's wishes!"
"I have!" said young Derry Willard's father, quite simply. "He's a good boy! Not only clever, I mean, but good! Never yet[Pg 52] have I known him to wish for anything that wasn't the best!"
"I have!" said young Derry Willard's father, quite simply. "He's a good kid! Not just smart, but he's really good! I’ve never[Pg 52] known him to want anything that wasn't the best!"
"They're too young," said my father.
"They're too young," my dad said.
"Youth," said Derry Willard's father, "is the one defect I know of that is incontestably remedial."
"Youth," said Derry Willard's father, "is the only flaw I know of that can definitely be fixed."
"How can they possibly know their own minds?" demanded my father.
"How can they even know what they think?" my father asked.
"No person," said Derry Willard's father, "knows his own mind until he's ready to die. But the sooner he knows his own heart the sooner he's ready to begin to live."
"No one," said Derry Willard's father, "knows their own mind until they're ready to die. But the sooner they know their own heart, the sooner they're ready to start living."
My father stirred in his chair. He lit a cigar. It went out. He lit it again. It went out again. He jerked his shoulders. He looked nervous. He talked about things that nobody was talking about at all.
My dad shifted in his chair. He lit a cigar. It went out. He lit it again. It went out again. He tensed his shoulders. He seemed anxious. He brought up things that no one else was mentioning at all.
"The young rascal dropped a hundred-dollar bill—when he was here before!" he said. He said it as tho it was something very wicked.[Pg 53]
"The young troublemaker dropped a hundred-dollar bill—when he was here before!" he said. He said it like it was something really bad.[Pg 53]
Young Derry Willard's father seemed perfectly cheerful.
Young Derry Willard's dad seemed really happy.
"Did he really?" he said.
"Did he actually?" he said.
"It's a wonder the crow didn't eat it!" snapped my father.
"It's a miracle the crow didn't eat it!" my father snapped.
"But even the crow wouldn't eat it, eh?" said Derry Willard's father. Quite suddenly he began to laugh again. He looked at my mother. He stopped laughing. His voice was very gentle. "Don't be—proud," he said. "Don't ever be proud." He threw out his hand as tho he was asking something. "What difference does anything make—in the whole world," he said, "except just young love—and old friendship?"
"But even the crow wouldn't eat it, right?" said Derry Willard's dad. All of a sudden, he started laughing again. He looked at my mom. He stopped laughing. His voice was very soft. "Don't be—proud," he said. "Never be proud." He raised his hand as if he was asking for something. "What does anything matter—in the entire world," he said, "except for young love—and old friendship?"
"Oh, pshaw," said father. "Oh, pshaw!"
"Oh, come on," said father. "Oh, come on!"
Rosalee came and stood in the door. She looked only at mother. She had on a red coat. And a red hat. And red mittens.
Rosalee came and stood in the doorway. She only looked at Mom. She was wearing a red coat, a red hat, and red mittens.
"Derry Willard wants to see the Christmas-tree garden," she said. "May I go?"
"Derry Willard wants to see the Christmas tree garden," she said. "Can I go?"
Derry Willard stood just behind her. He[Pg 54] had on his fur coat. He looked very hard at father. When he spoke he spoke only to father.
Derry Willard stood right behind her. He[Pg 54] was wearing his fur coat. He stared intensely at father. When he spoke, he only addressed father.
"Is it all right?" he said. "May I go?"
"Is it okay?" he asked. "Can I go?"
My father looked up. And then he looked down. He looked at Derry Willard's father. He threw out his hands as tho there was no place left to look. A little smile crept into one corner of his mouth. He tried to bite it. He couldn't.
My dad looked up. Then he looked down. He stared at Derry Willard's dad. He threw his hands out like there was nowhere else to look. A small smile appeared in one corner of his mouth. He tried to hold it back. He couldn’t.
"Oh—pshaw!" he said.
"Oh—pfft!" he said.
Carol and I went out to play. We thought we'd like to see the Christmas-tree garden too. The snow was almost as deep as our heads. All the evergreen trees were weighed down with snow. Their branches dragged on the ground. It was like walking through white plumes.
Carol and I went out to play. We thought we'd check out the Christmas tree garden too. The snow was almost as deep as our heads. All the evergreen trees were heavy with snow. Their branches were touching the ground. It felt like walking through white clouds.
We found mother's Christmas-tree garden. We found Rosalee and young Derry Willard standing right in the middle of it. It was all caves and castles! It was like a whole magic[Pg 55] little city all made out of white plumes! The sun came out and shone on it! Blue sky opened overhead! Everything crackled! It was more beautiful even than the Christmas tree in the parlor.
We discovered Mom's Christmas tree garden. We saw Rosalee and young Derry Willard right in the center of it. It was all caves and castles! It felt like a whole magical[Pg 55] little city made entirely of white feathers! The sun came out and lit it up! The blue sky spread out above! Everything crackled! It was even more beautiful than the Christmas tree in the living room.
They didn't hear us.
They couldn't hear us.
Rosalee gave a funny little cry. It was like a sob. Only happy.
Rosalee let out a small, funny sound. It was like a sob, but happy.
"I love Christmas!" she said.
"I love Christmas!" she said.
"I love you!" said Derry Willard.
"I love you!" said Derry Willard.
He snatched her in his arms and kissed her.
He picked her up and kissed her.
A great pine-tree shivered all its snow down on them like a veil.
A big pine tree shook off all its snow onto them like a curtain.
We heard them laugh.
We heard them laughing.
We ran back to the house. We ran just as fast as we could. It almost burst our lungs. We ran into the parlor. I didn't tell. Carol couldn't tell.
We ran back to the house as fast as we could. It nearly took our breath away. We dashed into the living room. I didn’t say anything. Carol couldn’t say anything either.
My father and young Derry Willard's father were talking and talking behind great clouds of smoke. The Yule log was blazing and sputtering all sorts of fireworks and[Pg 56] colors. Only mother was watching it. She was paring apples as she watched. A little smile was in her eyes.
My dad and Derry Willard's dad were chatting away in big clouds of smoke. The Yule log was burning and popping with all kinds of sparks and colors. Only my mom was paying attention to it. She was peeling apples while she watched, and there was a small smile in her eyes.
"What a wonderful—wonderful day to have it happen!" she said.
"What an amazing—amazing day to have this happen!" she said.
I couldn't stand it any longer. I ran upstairs and got my best story-book. I brought it down and opened it at the picture of the Fairy Prince. I laid it open like that in Mr. Willard's lap. I pointed at the picture.
I couldn't take it anymore. I ran upstairs and grabbed my favorite storybook. I brought it down and opened it to the page with the picture of the Fairy Prince. I laid it open like that in Mr. Willard's lap. I pointed to the picture.
"There!" I said.
"There!" I said.
Derry Willard's father put on his glasses and looked at the picture.
Derry Willard's dad put on his glasses and examined the picture.
"Well, upon my soul," he said, "where did you get that?"
"Well, I swear," he said, "where did you get that?"
"It's my book," I said. "It's always been my book."
"It's my book," I said. "It's always been my book."
My father looked at the picture.
My dad looked at the picture.
"Why, of all things," he said.
"Why, of all things," he said.
"Why, it looks exactly like Derry!" said my mother.
"Wow, it looks just like Derry!" my mom said.
"It is Derry!" said Derry's father. "But[Pg 57] don't ever let Derry know that you know that it is! It seems to tease him a little. It seems to tease him a very great deal in fact. Being all rigged out like that. The illustrator is a friend of mine. He spent the Winter in Cuba three or four years ago. And he painted the picture there."
"It is Derry!" said Derry's father. "But[Pg 57] don’t ever let Derry know that you know it is! It seems to annoy him a bit. It really seems to annoy him a lot, actually. Dressing like that. The illustrator is a friend of mine. He spent the winter in Cuba three or four years ago. And he painted the picture there."
I looked at Carol. Carol looked at me. It was an absolutely perfect Christmas! If this were true, then everything beautiful that there was in the world was true, too! Carol nudged me to speak.
I looked at Carol. Carol looked at me. It was an absolutely perfect Christmas! If this were true, then everything beautiful in the world was true, too! Carol nudged me to say something.
"Then Derry really is a Fairy Prince?" I said.
"Then Derry really is a Fairy Prince?" I said.
Father started to speak.
Dad started to speak.
Mother stopped him.
Mom stopped him.
"Yes! Rosalee's Fairy Prince!" she said.
"Yes! Rosalee's Fairy Prince!" she said.
THE GAME OF THE BE-WITCHMENTS
THE GAME OF THE BE-WITCHMENTS
We like our Aunt Esta very much because she doesn't like us.
We really like our Aunt Esta because she doesn't like us.
That is—she doesn't like us specially. Toys are what our Aunt Esta likes specially. Our Aunt Esta invents toys. She invents them for a store in New York. Our Aunt Esta is thirty years old with very serious hair. I don't know how old our other relatives are—except Rosalee! And Carol! And myself!
That is—she doesn't really like us. Toys are what our Aunt Esta really likes. She creates toys. She makes them for a store in New York. Our Aunt Esta is thirty years old and has very serious hair. I’m not sure how old our other relatives are—except for Rosalee! And Carol! And me!
My sister Rosalee is seventeen years old. And a Betrothess. Her Betrother lives in Cuba. He eats bananas. My brother Carol is eleven. He has no voice in his throat. But he eats anything. I myself am only nine. But with very long legs. Our Father and Mother have no age. They are just tall.
My sister Rosalee is seventeen years old and engaged. Her fiancé lives in Cuba, and he eats bananas. My brother Carol is eleven years old. He can't speak, but he eats anything. I'm only nine, but I have really long legs. Our parents don't seem to have an age; they're just tall.
There was a man. He was very rich. He[Pg 62] had a little girl with sick bones. She had to sit in a wheel chair all day long and be pushed around by a Black Woman. He asked our Aunt Esta to invent a Game for her. The little girl's name was Posie.
There was a man. He was very wealthy. He[Pg 62] had a little girl with health issues. She had to stay in a wheelchair all day and be pushed around by a Black woman. He asked our Aunt Esta to come up with a game for her. The little girl's name was Posie.
Our Aunt Esta invented a Game. She called it the Game of the Be-Witchments. It cost two hundred dollars and forty-three cents. The Rich Man didn't seem to mind the two hundred dollars. But he couldn't bear the forty-three cents. He'd bear even that, though, he said, if it would only be sure to work!
Our Aunt Esta created a game. She named it the Game of the Be-Witchments. It cost two hundred dollars and forty-three cents. The Rich Man didn’t seem to care about the two hundred dollars. But he couldn’t stand the forty-three cents. He said he would even put up with that if only it would definitely work!
"Work?" said our Aunt Esta. "Why of course it will work!" So just the first minute she got it invented she jammed it into her trunk and dashed up to our house to see if it would!
"Work?" said our Aunt Esta. "Why of course it will work!" So the moment she invented it, she stuffed it into her trunk and rushed over to our house to see if it would!
It worked very well. Our Aunt Esta never wastes any time. Not even kissing. Either coming or going. We went right up to her room with her. It was a big trunk. The Expressman[Pg 63] swore a little. My Father tore his trouser-knee. My Mother began right away to re-varnish the scratches on the bureau.
It worked out great. Our Aunt Esta never wastes any time. Not even for a quick kiss. Whether she’s arriving or leaving. We went straight up to her room with her. There was a big trunk. The delivery guy[Pg 63] swore a bit. My dad tore his pants at the knee. My mom immediately started re-varnishing the scratches on the dresser.
It took us most all the morning to carry the Game down-stairs. We carried it to the Dining Room. It covered the table. It covered the chairs. It strewed the sideboard. It spilled over on the floor. There was a pair of white muslin angel wings all spangled over with silver and gold! There was a fairy wand! There was a shining crown! There was a blue satin clock! There was a yellow plush suit and swishy-tail all painted sideways in stripes like a tiger! There was a most furious tiger head with whisk-broom whiskers! There was a green frog's head! And a green frog's suit! There was a witch's hat and cape! And a hump on the back! There were bows and arrows! There were boxes and boxes of milliner's flowers! There were strings of beads! And yards and yards of dungeon chains made out of[Pg 64] silver paper! And a real bugle! And red Chinese lanterns! And—and everything!
It took us most of the morning to carry the game downstairs. We brought it to the dining room. It covered the table. It covered the chairs. It spilled over the sideboard. It was all over the floor. There were white muslin angel wings covered in silver and gold! There was a fairy wand! There was a shiny crown! There was a blue satin clock! There was a yellow plush suit with a swishy tail painted in sideways stripes like a tiger! There was a really fierce tiger head with whisk broom whiskers! There was a green frog's head! And a green frog's suit! There was a witch's hat and cape! And a hump on the back! There were bows and arrows! There were boxes and boxes of milliner's flowers! There were strings of beads! And yards and yards of dungeon chains made out of[Pg 64] silver paper! And a real bugle! And red Chinese lanterns! And—and everything!
The Rich Man came in a gold-colored car to see it work. When he saw the Dining Room he sickened. He bit his cigar.
The Rich Man arrived in a gold-colored car to check it out. When he saw the Dining Room, he felt sick. He bit his cigar.
"My daughter Posie is ten years old," he said. "What I ordered for her was a Game!—not a Trousseau!"
"My daughter Posie is ten years old," he said. "What I ordered for her was a game!—not a trousseau!"
Our Aunt Esta shivered her hands. She shrugged her shoulders.
Our Aunt Esta shivered her hands and shrugged her shoulders.
"You don't understand," she said. "This is no paltry Toy to be exhausted and sickened of in a single hour! This is a real Game! Eth-ical! Psycho-psycho—logical! Unendingly diverting! Hour after hour! Day after day!—Once begun, you understand, it's never over!"
"You don't get it," she said. "This isn't some trivial toy that you'll get tired of in an hour! This is a real game! Ethical! Psychological! Endless fun! Hour after hour! Day after day!—Once you start, you see, it's never really over!"
The Rich Man looked at his watch.
The rich man checked his watch.
"I have to be in Chicago a week from tomorrow!" he said.
"I have to be in Chicago a week from tomorrow!" he said.
Somebody giggled. It couldn't have been Rosalee, of course. Because Rosalee is seventeen.[Pg 65] And, of course, it wasn't Carol. So it must have been me.
Somebody giggled. It couldn't have been Rosalee, obviously. Because Rosalee is seventeen.[Pg 65] And, of course, it wasn't Carol. So it must have been me.
The Rich Man gave an awful glare.
The Rich Man shot an angry look.
"Who are these children?" he demanded.
"Who are these kids?" he asked.
Our Aunt Esta swallowed.
Our Aunt Esta gulped.
"They are my—my Demonstrators," she said.
"They're my demonstrators," she said.
"'Demonstrators?'" sniffed the Rich Man. He glared at Carol. "Why don't you speak?" he demanded.
"'Demonstrators?'" scoffed the Rich Man. He glared at Carol. "Why aren't you saying anything?" he demanded.
My mother made a rustle to the door-way.
My mom made a noise at the doorway.
"He can't," she said. "Our son Carol is dumb."
"He can't," she said. "Our son Carol is stupid."
The Rich Man looked very queer.
The Rich Man looked very strange.
"Oh, I say," he fumbled and stuttered. "Oh, I say—! After all there's no such great harm in a giggle. My little girl Posie cries all the time. All the time, I mean! Cries and cries and cries!—It's a fright!"
"Oh, I mean," he stumbled and hesitated. "Oh, I mean—! After all, there's really no big deal in a giggle. My little girl Posie cries all the time. All the time, I mean! Cries and cries and cries!—It's terrifying!"
"She wouldn't," said our Aunt Esta, "if she had a game like this to play with."
"She wouldn't," said our Aunt Esta, "if she had a game like this to play with."
"Eh?" said the Rich Man.[Pg 66]
"Eh?" said the Rich Man.
"She could wear the Witch's hideous cape!" said our Aunt Esta. "And the queer pointed black hat! And the scraggly gray wig! And the great horn-rimmed spectacles! And the hump on her back! And——"
"She could wear the Witch's ugly cape!" said our Aunt Esta. "And the weird pointed black hat! And the messy gray wig! And the big horn-rimmed glasses! And the hump on her back! And——"
"My daughter Posie has Ti—Titian red curls," said the Rich Man coldly. "And the most beautiful brown eyes that mortal man has ever seen! And a skin so fair that——"
"My daughter Posie has bright red curls," said the Rich Man coldly. "And the most beautiful brown eyes that anyone has ever seen! And a skin so fair that——"
"That's why I think it would rest her so," said our Aunt Esta, "to be ugly outside—instead of inside for a while."
"That's why I think it would help her so much," said our Aunt Esta, "to be ugly on the outside—instead of on the inside for a while."
"Eh?" said the Rich Man.
"Huh?" said the Rich Man.
He glared at our Aunt Esta.
He stared angrily at our Aunt Esta.
Our Aunt Esta glared at him.
Our Aunt Esta shot him a fierce look.
Out in the kitchen suddenly the most beautiful smell happened. The smell was soup! Spiced Tomato Soup! It was as though the whole stove had bloomed! My Father came to the door. "What's it all about?" he said. He saw the Rich Man.[Pg 67] The Rich Man saw him. "Why, how do you do?" said my Father. "Why, how do you do?" said the Rich Man. They bowed. There was no room on the Dining Room table to put the dishes. There was no room anywhere for anything. We had to eat in the kitchen. My Mother made griddle cakes. The Rich Man stirred the batter. He seemed to think it was funny. Carol had to sit on a soap-box. Our Aunt Esta sat on the edge of a barrel with her stockings swinging. It made her look not so strict. "All the same," worried the Rich Man, "I don't see just why you fixed the price at two hundred dollars and forty-three cents?—Why not two hundred dollars and forty-five cents? Or even the round sum two hundred and one dollars?"
Out in the kitchen, the most amazing smell suddenly wafted through the air. It was soup! Spiced Tomato Soup! It felt like the entire stove had come to life! My dad walked to the door and asked, "What's going on?" He noticed the Rich Man.[Pg 67] The Rich Man saw him too. "Hello, nice to meet you!" my dad said. "Hello, nice to meet you!" replied the Rich Man. They both bowed. The Dining Room table had no space for the dishes. There was no room anywhere for anything. We had to eat in the kitchen. My mom made griddle cakes. The Rich Man stirred the batter and seemed to think it was amusing. Carol had to sit on a soap box. Our Aunt Esta perched on the edge of a barrel, her stockings swinging, making her look less strict. "Still," the Rich Man said with concern, "I don't understand why you set the price at two hundred dollars and forty-three cents?—Why not two hundred dollars and forty-five cents? Or even a nice round two hundred and one dollars?"
Our Aunt Esta looked pretty mad. "I will be very glad—I'm sure," she said, "to submit an itemized bill."
Our Aunt Esta looked really mad. "I'll be more than happy—I'm sure," she said, "to give you a detailed bill."
"Oh, nonsense!" said the Rich Man. "It was just your mental processes I was wondering[Pg 68] about.—The thing, of course, is worth any money—if it works!"
"Oh, come on!" said the Rich Man. "I was just curious about your thinking[Pg 68]. The thing is definitely worth any amount of money—if it actually works!"
"If it works?" cried our Aunt Esta.
"If it works?" shouted our Aunt Esta.
The Rich Man jumped up and strode fiercely to the Dining Room door.
The Rich Man jumped up and marched angrily to the Dining Room door.
Our Aunt Esta strode fiercely after him, only littler. Our Aunt Esta is very little.
Our Aunt Esta marched after him with determination, just smaller in size. Our Aunt Esta is really small.
The Rich Man waved his arms at everything,—the boxes,—the bundles,—the angel-wings,—the cloaks,—the suits,—the Chinese Lanterns.
The Rich Man waved his arms at everything—the boxes, the bundles, the angel wings, the cloaks, the suits, the Chinese lanterns.
"All the same, the thing is perfectly outrageous!—The size of it!—The extent! No house would hold it!"
"Still, it's totally outrageous!—The size!—The scale! No house could contain it!"
"It isn't meant," said our Aunt Esta, "to be played just in the house.—It's meant to be played on a sunny porch opening out on a green lawn—so that there's plenty of room for all Posie's little playmates to go swarming in and out."
"It’s not just for indoors," our Aunt Esta said, "It’s meant to be played on a sunny porch that opens up to a green lawn—so there’s plenty of space for all of Posie's little friends to come in and out."
The Rich Man looked queer. He gave a little shiver.[Pg 69]
The Rich Man looked strange. He shivered slightly.[Pg 69]
"My little daughter Posie hasn't got any playmates," he said. "She's too cross."
"My little daughter Posie doesn't have any friends to play with," he said. "She's too upset."
Our Aunt Esta stood up very straight. Two red spots flamed in her cheeks.
Our Aunt Esta stood up very straight. Two red spots blazed on her cheeks.
"You won't be able to keep the children away from her," she said, "after they once begin to play this game!"
"You won't be able to keep the kids away from her," she said, "once they start playing this game!"
"You really think so?" cried the Rich Man.
"You really think so?" shouted the Rich Man.
Out in the kitchen my Father looked at my Mother. My Mother looked at my Father. They both looked at us. My Father made a little chuckle.
Out in the kitchen, my dad looked at my mom. My mom looked at my dad. They both looked at us. My dad let out a small laugh.
"It would seem," said my Father, "as though it was the honor of the whole family that was involved!" He made a whisper in Carol's ear. "Go to it, Son!" he whispered.
"It seems," my Father said, "that the honor of the entire family is at stake!" He leaned in to whisper in Carol's ear. "You got this, Son!" he murmured.
Rosalee jumped to her feet. Carol jumped to his feet. I jumped to my feet. We snatched hands. We ran right into the Dining Room. Carol's face was shining.[Pg 70]
Rosalee sprang up. Carol got up quickly. I stood up. We grabbed each other's hands. We rushed into the Dining Room. Carol's face was glowing.[Pg 70]
"Who's going to be Posie-with-the-Sick-Bones?" I cried.
"Who's going to be Posie-with-the-Sick-Bones?" I yelled.
"S—s—h!" said everybody except our Aunt Esta.
"S—s—h!" everyone said except our Aunt Esta.
Our Aunt Esta suddenly seemed very much encouraged. She didn't wait a minute. She snatched a little book from her pocket. It was a little book that she had made herself all full of typewriter directions about the Game.
Our Aunt Esta suddenly looked really encouraged. She didn’t hesitate at all. She quickly pulled out a small book from her pocket. It was a little book she had made herself, filled with typewriter instructions for the Game.
"Someone, of course," she said, "will have to be the Witch,—someone who knows the Game, I mean, so perhaps I—?"
"Someone, of course," she said, "will have to be the Witch,—someone who understands the Game, I mean, so maybe I—?"
We rushed to help her drag the old battered tricycle to the Porch! We helped her open up every porch door till all the green lawn and gay petunia blossoms came right up and fringed with the old porch rug! We helped her tie on the Witch's funny hat! And the scraggly gray wig! And the great horn-rimmed spectacles! We helped her climb into the tricycle seat! We were too[Pg 71] excited to stay on the porch! We wheeled her right out on the green lawn itself! The green lilac hedge reared all up around her like a magic wall!
We hurried to help her drag the old, beaten-up tricycle to the porch! We assisted her in opening every porch door until all the green lawn and colorful petunia flowers came in and bordered the old porch rug! We helped her put on the witch's silly hat! And the scraggly gray wig! And the big horn-rimmed glasses! We helped her climb into the tricycle seat! We were too[Pg 71] excited to stay on the porch! We wheeled her right out onto the green lawn itself! The green lilac hedge rose all around her like a magical wall!
We screamed with joy! The Rich Man jumped when we screamed. The Rich Man's name was Mr. Trent.
We shouted with happiness! Mr. Trent, the Rich Man, jumped when we yelled.
"And Mr. Trent shall be the Black Woman who pushes you all about!" we screamed.
"And Mr. Trent will be the Black Woman who pushes you all around!" we shouted.
"I will not!" said Mr. Trent.
"I won't!" Mr. Trent said.
But Carol had already tied a black velvet ribbon on the Rich Man's leg to show that he was!
But Carol had already tied a black velvet ribbon around the Rich Man's leg to show that he was!
Our Aunt Esta seemed more encouraged every minute. She stood us all up in front of her. Even Father. She read from her book. It was a poem. The poem said:
Our Aunt Esta looked more and more encouraged every minute. She lined us all up in front of her. Even Dad. She read from her book. It was a poem. The poem said:
You Great, you Small,
You Short, you Tall,
Come one, come all! [Pg 72]
"I will not!" said the Rich Man.
"I won't!" said the Rich Man.
He sweated.
He was sweating.
"Oh Shucks! Be a Sport!" said my Father.
"Oh man! Be a good sport!" said my Dad.
"I will not!" said the Rich Man.
"I will not!" said the Rich Man.
He glared.
He shot a glare.
Our Aunt Esta tried to read from her book and wave her wand at the same time. It waved the Rich Man in the nose.
Our Aunt Esta tried to read from her book while waving her wand at the same time. She ended up waving it right in the Rich Man's nose.
"Foul Menial!" waved our Aunt Esta. "Bring in the Captives!"
"Hey, you! Servant!" waved our Aunt Esta. "Bring in the prisoners!"
"Who?" demanded the Rich Man.
"Who?" asked the Rich Man.
"You!" said our Aunt Esta.
"You!" said Aunt Esta.
The Rich Man brought us in! Especially Father! He bound us all up in silver paper chains! He put a silver paper ring through my Father's beautiful nose!
The Rich Man welcomed us in! Especially Dad! He wrapped us all up in shiny silver paper chains! He even put a silver paper ring through my Dad's lovely nose!
"Oh, I say," protested my Father. "It was 'guests' that I understood we were to be! Not captives!"
"Oh, I say," my Father protested. "I thought we were supposed to be 'guests,' not captives!"
"Ha!" sniffed the Rich Man. "Be a Sport!"[Pg 73]
"Ha!" sniffed the Rich Man. "Come on, be a team player!"[Pg 73]
They both glared.
They both stared angrily.
Our Aunt Esta had cakes in a box. They seemed to be very good cakes. "Now in about ten minutes," read our Aunt Esta from her book, "you will all begin to feel very queer."
Our Aunt Esta had cakes in a box. They looked like really good cakes. "In about ten minutes," our Aunt Esta read from her book, "you’re all going to start feeling really strange."
"Oh—Lordy!" said my Father.
"Oh my gosh!" said my Father.
"I knew it!" said the Rich Man. "I knew it all the time! From the very first mouthful—my stomach——"
"I knew it!" said the Rich Man. "I knew it all along! From the very first bite—my stomach——"
"Is there no antidote?" cried my Mother.
"Is there no antidote?" my mom exclaimed.
Our Aunt Esta took off her horn-rimmed spectacles. She sniffed.
Our Aunt Esta took off her glasses. She sniffed.
"Sillies!" she said. "This is just a Game, you know!"
"Sillies!" she exclaimed. "This is just a game, you know!"
"Nevertheless," said the Rich Man, "I certainly feel very queer."
"Still," said the Rich Man, "I definitely feel really strange."
"When you all feel equally queer," said our Aunt Esta coldly, "we will proceed with the Game."
"When you all feel equally weird," said our Aunt Esta coldly, "we will proceed with the Game."
We all felt equally queer just as soon as we could.[Pg 74]
We all felt just as strange as soon as we could.[Pg 74]
Our Aunt Esta made a speech. She made it from her little book.
Our Aunt Esta gave a speech. She read it from her small book.
"Poor helpless Captives (said the Speech). You are now entirely in my power! Yet fear not! If everybody does just exactly as I say, all may yet be well!"
"Poor helpless Captives," said the Speech. "You are now completely under my control! But don't worry! If everyone does exactly as I say, everything can still turn out fine!"
"Hear! Hear!" said my Father.
"Hear! Hear!" said my Dad.
The Rich Man suddenly seemed to like my Father very much. He reached over and nudged him in the ribs.
The Rich Man suddenly appeared to really like my Dad. He leaned over and nudged him in the ribs.
"Shut up!" he whispered. "The less you say the sooner it will be over!"
"Quiet!" he whispered. "The less you talk, the sooner it’ll be done!"
My Father said less at once. He seemed very glad to know about it.
My dad said less at once. He seemed really happy to hear about it.
Our Aunt Esta pointed to a boxful of little envelopes.
Our Aunt Esta pointed to a box full of small envelopes.
"Foul Menial," she said. "Bring the little envelopes!"
"Useless Servant," she said. "Get the small envelopes!"
The Rich Man brought them. But not very cheerfully.
The Rich Man brought them, but he wasn't very cheerful about it.
"Oh, of course, it's all right to call me that," he said. "But I tell you quite frankly[Pg 75] that my daughter Posie's maid will never stand for it! Her name is Elizabeth Lou!—Mrs. Jane—Frank—Elizabeth Lou—even!"
"Oh, of course, it's fine to call me that," he said. "But I'll be honest with you[Pg 75] my daughter Posie's maid won't tolerate it! Her name is Elizabeth Lou!—Mrs. Jane—Frank—Elizabeth Lou—even!"
Our Aunt Esta looked at the Rich Man. Her look was scornfuller and scornfuller.
Our Aunt Esta looked at the Rich Man. Her look was increasingly scornful.
"All Witch's servants," she said, "are called 'Foul Menial!'—From the earliest classical records of fairy tale and legend down to——"
"All Witch's servants," she said, "are called 'Foul Menial!'—From the earliest classic tales and legends right up to——"
"Not in our times," insisted the Rich Man. "I defy you in any Intelligence Office in New York to find a—a——"
"Not in our times," insisted the Rich Man. "I challenge you to find a—a——"
Our Aunt Esta brushed the contradiction aside. She frowned. Not just at the Rich Man. But at everybody. "We will proceed with the Rehearsal—as written!" she said. She gruffed her voice. She thumped her wand on the floor. "Each captive," she said, "will now step forward and draw a little envelope from the box."
Our Aunt Esta ignored the contradiction. She frowned. Not just at the Rich Man, but at everyone. "We're going ahead with the Rehearsal—as written!" she said. She deepened her voice. She banged her wand on the floor. "Each captive," she said, "will now step forward and pick a small envelope from the box."
Each captive stepped forward and drew a little envelope from the box.[Pg 76]
Each captive stepped forward and took a small envelope from the box.[Pg 76]
Inside each envelope was a little card. Very black ink words were written on each card.
Inside each envelope was a small card. Dark black ink words were printed on each card.
"Captives, stand up very straight!" ordered our Aunt Esta.
"Captives, stand up straight!" ordered our Aunt Esta.
Every captive stood very straight.
Every captive stood tall.
"Knock your knees together with fear!" ordered our Aunt Esta.
"Knock your knees together with fear!" commanded our Aunt Esta.
Every captive knocked his knees together with fear.
Every captive's knees shook with fear.
"Strain at your chains!" ordered our Aunt Esta. "But not too hard! Remembering they are paper!"
"Pull on your chains!" Aunt Esta commanded. "But not too hard! Remember, they're made of paper!"
Every captive strained at his chains but not too hard! Remembering they were paper!
Every captive tugged at their chains, but not too hard! They remembered they were made of paper!
Our Aunt Esta seemed very much pleased. She read another poem from her book. The poem said:
Our Aunt Esta seemed really pleased. She read another poem from her book. The poem said:
A fearful fate hangs over your rest,
Unless you meet my Dread Command!
[Pg 77]
"Oh, dear—oh, dear—oh, dear—oh, dear!" cried our Mother. "Can nothing save us?"
"Oh no—oh no—oh no—oh no!" cried our Mother. "Can nothing save us?"
My Father burst his nose-ring!
My dad broke his nose ring!
Rosalee giggled!
Rosalee laughed!
Carol and I jumped up and down! We clapped our hands!
Carol and I were jumping up and down! We clapped our hands!
The Rich Man cocked his head on one side. He looked at our Aunt Esta. At her funny black pointed hat. At her scraggly gray wig. At her great horn-rimmed spectacles. At the hump on her back. "U-m-m," he said. "What do you mean,—'witch-y wiles?'"
The Rich Man tilted his head to the side. He looked at our Aunt Esta. At her quirky black pointed hat. At her messy gray wig. At her large horn-rimmed glasses. At the hump on her back. "Hmm," he said. "What do you mean, 'witch-y wiles?'"
"Silence!" said our Aunt Esta. "Read your cards!"
"Silence!" said our Aunt Esta. "Read your cards!"
We read our cards.
We read our tarot cards.
Carol's card said "Pink Breeze" on it. And "Slimy Frog."
Carol's card had "Pink Breeze" written on it. And "Slimy Frog."
Our Aunt Esta poked Carol twice with her wand. "Pitiful Wretch!" said our Aunt Esta. "It is now two o'clock.—Unless you are back here exactly at three o'clock—bearing[Pg 78] a Pink Breeze in your hands—you shall be turned for all time and eternity into a Slimy Green Frog!—Go hence!"
Our Aunt Esta poked Carol twice with her wand. "Poor thing!" said our Aunt Esta. "It's now two o'clock. Unless you’re back here exactly at three o'clock—holding[Pg 78] a Pink Breeze—you’ll be turned into a Slimy Green Frog for all time!—Now go!"
Carol went hence. He henced as far as the Mulberry Tree on the front lawn. He sat down on the grass with the card in his hand. He read the card. And read it. And read it. It puzzled him very much.
Carol went away. He went as far as the Mulberry Tree on the front lawn. He sat down on the grass with the card in his hand. He read the card. And read it. And read it. It confused him a lot.
"Pitiful Wretch, go hence!" cried our Aunt Esta.
"Pitiful wretch, go away!" shouted our Aunt Esta.
He henced as far as the Larch Tree this time. And sat down all over again. And puzzled. And puzzled.
He walked as far as the Larch Tree this time. And sat down again. And thought. And thought.
"Go hence, I say, Pitiful Wretch!" insisted our Aunt Esta.
"Go away, I say, Pitiful Wretch!" insisted our Aunt Esta.
My Mother didn't like Carol to be called a "Pitiful Wretch."—It was because he was dumb, I suppose. When my Mother doesn't like anything it spots her cheek-bones quite red. Her cheek-bones were spotted very red.
My mom didn't want Carol to be called a "Pitiful Wretch."—I guess it was because he was slow. When my mom dislikes something, her cheekbones get really red. Her cheekbones were quite red.
"Stop your fussing!" said our Aunt Esta. "And attend to your own business!"[Pg 79]
"Stop your worrying!" said our Aunt Esta. "And mind your own business!"[Pg 79]
My Mother attended to her own business. The business of her card said "Silver Bird" and "Horse's Hoof."
My mom took care of her own business. The business card said "Silver Bird" and "Horse Hoof."
Even our Aunt Esta looked a bit flabbergasted.
Even our Aunt Esta looked a little shocked.
"Oh, dear—oh, dear," said our Aunt Esta. "I certainly am sorry that it was you who happened to draw that one!—And all dressed up in white too as you are! But after all—" she jerked with a great toss of her scraggly wig, "a Game is a Game! And there can be no concessions!"
"Oh, no—oh, no," said our Aunt Esta. "I'm really sorry it was you who ended up drawing that one!—And all dressed up in white too! But still—" she said, tossing her messy wig, "a Game is a Game! And there can be no exceptions!"
"No, of course not!" said my Mother. "Lead me to the Slaughter!"
"No, of course not!" my mom said. "Take me to the slaughter!"
"There is not necessarily any slaughter connected with it," said our Aunt Esta very haughtily. But she hit my Mother only once with her wand.
"There isn't necessarily any killing involved," our Aunt Esta said very arrogantly. But she only hit my mom once with her wand.
"Frail Creature," she said. "On the topmost branch of the tallest tree in the world there is a silver bird with a song in his throat that has never been sung! Unless you bring[Pg 80] me this bird singing you are hereby doomed to walk with the clatter of a Horse's Hoof!"
"Fragile being," she said. "On the highest branch of the tallest tree in the world, there's a silver bird with a song in its throat that has never been heard! Unless you bring[Pg 80] me this bird singing, you are now doomed to walk with the sound of a horse's hoof!"
"Horse's Hoof?" gasped my Mother. "With the clatter of a Horse's Hoof?"
"Horse's hoof?" my mom gasped. "With the sound of a horse's hoof?"
My Father was pretty mad. "Why, it's impossible!" he said. "She's as light as Thistle-Down! Even in her boots it's like a Fairy passing!"
My dad was really upset. "This is unbelievable!" he said. "She's as light as dandelion fluff! Even in her boots, it's like a fairy gliding by!"
"Nevertheless," insisted our Aunt Esta. "She shall walk with the clatter of a Horse's Hoof—unless she brings me the Silver Bird."
"Still," insisted our Aunt Esta. "She will walk with the sound of a horse's hoof—unless she brings me the silver bird."
My Mother started at once for the Little Woods. "I can at least search the Tallest Tree in my world!" she said.
My mom immediately headed to the Little Woods. "I can at least check the Tallest Tree in my world!" she said.
It made my Father nervouser and nervouser. "Now don't you dare," he called after her, "climb anything until I come!"
It made my dad more and more anxious. "Now don't you dare," he called after her, "climb anything until I get there!"
"Base Interloper!" said our Aunt Esta. "Keep Still!"
"Base Interloper!" our Aunt Esta said. "Stay still!"
"Who?" said my Father.
"Who?" my dad said.
I giggled. Our Aunt Esta was very mad. She turned me into a White Rabbit. I was made of white canton flannel. I was very soft. I had long ears. They were lop-ears. They were lined with pink velvet. They hung way down over my shoulders so I could stroke them. I liked them very much. But my legs looked like white night-drawers. "Ruthy-the-Rabbit" was my name. Our Aunt Esta scolded it at me.
I giggled. Our Aunt Esta was really angry. She turned me into a White Rabbit. I was made of soft white flannel. I felt really cozy. I had long ears that flopped down. They were lined with pink velvet and hung down over my shoulders so I could pet them. I liked them a lot. But my legs looked like white pajamas. "Ruthy-the-Rabbit" was my name. Our Aunt Esta yelled it at me.
"Because of your impudence, Ruthy-the-Rabbit," she said, "you shall not be allowed to roam the woods and fields at will. But shall stay here in captivity close by my side and help the Foul Menial do the chores!"
"Because of your cheekiness, Ruthy-the-Rabbit," she said, "you won't be allowed to roam the woods and fields freely. Instead, you'll stay here with me and help the Foul Menial with the chores!"
The Rich Man seemed very much pleased. He winked an eye. He pulled one of my lop-ears. It was nice to have somebody pleased with me.
The Rich Man seemed really happy. He winked at me. He tugged one of my floppy ears. It felt good to have someone be happy with me.
Everybody was pleased with Rosalee's bewitchment. It sounded so restful. All Rosalee had to do was to be very pretty,—just[Pg 82] exactly as she was! And seventeen years old,—just exactly as she was! And sit on the big gray rock by the side of the brook just exactly as it was! And see whether it was a Bright Green Celluloid Fish or a Bright Red Celluloid Fish that came down the brook first! And if it was a Bright Green Celluloid Fish she was to catch it! And slit open its stomach! And take out all its Directions! And follow 'em! And if it was a Bright Red Celluloid Fish she was to catch it! And take out all its Directions and follow them!—In either case her card said she would need rubbers and a trowel.—It sounded like Buried Treasure to me! Or else Iris Roots! Our Aunt Esta is very much interested in Iris Roots.
Everyone was happy with Rosalee’s enchantment. It sounded so relaxing. All Rosalee had to do was be very pretty—just[Pg 82] like she was! And seventeen years old—just exactly as she was! And sit on the big gray rock by the brook just like it was! And see whether a Bright Green Celluloid Fish or a Bright Red Celluloid Fish came down the brook first! If it was a Bright Green Celluloid Fish, she was to catch it! And slice open its stomach! And take out all its Directions! And follow them! And if it was a Bright Red Celluloid Fish, she was to catch that! And take out all its Directions and follow those! —In either case, her card said she would need rubber boots and a trowel. —It sounded like Buried Treasure to me! Or maybe Iris Roots! Our Aunt Esta is really interested in Iris Roots.
It was my Father's Bewitchment that made the only real trouble. Nothing at all was postponed about my Father's Bewitchment. It happened all at once. It was because my Father knew too much. It was about the[Pg 83] Alphabet that he knew too much. The words on my Father's card said "Alphabet." And "Backwards." And "Pink Silk Fairy." And "Tin Locomotive Head." And "Three Minutes." Our Aunt Esta turned my Father into a Pink Silk Fairy with White Tarlatan Wings because he was able to say the Alphabet backwards in three minutes! My Father refused to turn! He wouldn't! He wouldn't! He swore he wouldn't! He said it was a "cruel and unnecessary punishment!" Our Aunt Esta said it wasn't a Punishment! It was a Reward! It was the Tin Locomotive Head that was the punishment! My Father said he wouldn't have cared a rap if it had been the Tin Locomotive Head!—He could have smoked through that! But he wouldn't be a Pink Silk Fairy with White Tarlatan Wings!
It was my dad's enchantment that caused all the real trouble. Nothing about my dad's enchantment was delayed; it all happened at once. It was because my dad knew too much. It was about the[Pg 83] Alphabet that he knew too much. The words on my dad's card said "Alphabet." And "Backwards." And "Pink Silk Fairy." And "Tin Train Engine." And "Three Minutes." Our Aunt Esta turned my dad into a Pink Silk Fairy with White Tarlatan Wings because he could say the Alphabet backwards in three minutes! My dad refused to turn! He wouldn’t! He wouldn’t! He swore he wouldn’t! He said it was a “cruel and unnecessary punishment!” Our Aunt Esta said it wasn’t a punishment! It was a reward! It was the Tin Locomotive Head that was the punishment! My dad said he wouldn't have cared at all if it had been the Tin Locomotive Head!—He could have smoked through that! But he wouldn’t be a Pink Silk Fairy with White Tarlatan Wings!
The Rich Man began right away to untie the black velvet ribbon on his leg, and go[Pg 84] home! He looked very cheated! He scorned my Father with ribald glances! "Work?" he gloated. "Of course it won't work! I knew all the time it wouldn't work!—Two hundred dollars! And forty-three cents?" he gloated. "H-a!"
The Rich Man immediately started to untie the black velvet ribbon on his leg and go[Pg 84] home! He looked completely cheated! He mocked my Father with crude looks! "Work?" he sneered. "Of course it won't work! I knew all along it wouldn't work!—Two hundred dollars! And forty-three cents?" he sneered. "H-a!"
Our Aunt Esta cried! She put her hand on my Father's arm. It was a very small hand. It didn't look a bit like a Witch's hand. Except for having no lovingness in it, it looked a good deal like my Mother's hand.
Our Aunt Esta cried! She put her hand on my dad's arm. It was a very small hand. It didn't look at all like a witch's hand. Other than lacking any warmth, it looked a lot like my mom's hand.
My Father consented to be turned a little! But not much! He consented to wear the white tarlatan wings! And the gold paper crown! But not the garland of roses! He would carry the pink silk dress on his arm, he said. But he would not wear it!
My dad agreed to be a little festive! But not too much! He agreed to wear the white tarlatan wings! And the gold paper crown! But not the garland of roses! He said he would carry the pink silk dress on his arm. But he would not wear it!
The Rich Man seemed very much encouraged. He stopped untying the black velvet ribbon from his leg. He grinned a little.[Pg 85]
The Rich Man looked really encouraged. He paused from untying the black velvet ribbon from his leg. He smiled slightly.[Pg 85]
My Father told him what he thought of him. The Rich Man acknowledged that very likely it was so. But he didn't seem to mind. He kept right on grinning.
My dad told him what he thought of him. The Rich Man admitted that it was probably true. But he didn’t seem to care. He just kept on grinning.
My Father stalked away in his gold paper crown with the pink dress over his arm. He looked very proud and noble. He looked as though even if dogs were sniffing at his heels he wouldn't turn. His white wings flapped as he walked. The spangles shone. It looked very holy.
My father walked away wearing his gold paper crown and carrying the pink dress over his arm. He seemed really proud and dignified. He looked like he wouldn't even flinch if dogs were sniffing at his heels. His white wings fluttered as he walked. The sparkles glimmered. It all looked very sacred.
The Rich Man made a funny noise. It sounded like snorting.
The Rich Man made a strange sound. It was like a snort.
My Father turned round quicker than scat. He glared right through the Rich Man at our Aunt Esta. He told our Aunt Esta just what he thought of her!
My father turned around faster than scat. He shot a glare right past the Rich Man and focused on our Aunt Esta. He told our Aunt Esta exactly what he thought of her!
The Rich Man said it wasn't so at all! That the Game undoubtedly was perfectly practical if——
The Rich Man said that wasn't true at all! That the Game was definitely practical if——
"If nothing!" said my Father. "It's you yourself that are spoiling the whole effect by[Pg 86] running around playing you're a Black Slave with nothing on but a velvet ribbon round one knee! The very least you could do," said my Father, "is to have your face blacked! And wear a plaid skirt!"
"If nothing!" said my Dad. "You're the one ruining the whole vibe by[Pg 86] running around acting like a Black Slave with nothing on but a velvet ribbon around one knee! The very least you could do," my Dad said, "is to blacken your face! And wear a plaid skirt!"
"Eh?" said the Rich Man.
"Huh?" said the Rich Man.
Our Aunt Esta was perfectly delighted with the suggestion.
Our Aunt Esta was really happy with the suggestion.
The Rich Man took her delight coldly.
The Rich Man received her joy with indifference.
He glared at my Father. "I don't think I need any outside help," he said, "in the management of my affairs.—As the Owner indeed of one of the largest stores in the world I——"
He glared at my dad. "I don't think I need any outside help," he said, "in managing my affairs. As the owner of one of the largest stores in the world, I——"
"That's all right," said my Father. "But you never yet have tried to manage the children's Aunt Esta.—Nothing can stop her!"
"That's fine," my Dad said. "But you've never really tried to deal with the kids' Aunt Esta. Nothing can hold her back!"
Nothing could! She pinned an old plaid shawl around the Rich Man's waist! She blacked his face! He had to kneel at her feet while it was being blacked! He seemed to sweat easily! But our Aunt Esta blacked[Pg 87] very easily too! He looked lovely! Even my Father thought he looked lovely! When he was done he wanted to look in a mirror. My Father advised him not to. But he insisted. My Father got up from making suggestions and came and stood behind him while he looked. They looked only once. Something seemed to hit them. They doubled right up. It was laughter that hit them. They slapped each other on the back. They laughed! And laughed! And laughed! They made such a noise that my Mother came running!
Nothing could! She wrapped an old plaid shawl around the Rich Man's waist! She painted his face black! He had to kneel at her feet while she did it! He seemed to sweat easily! But our Aunt Esta painted[Pg 87] very easily too! He looked fantastic! Even my Dad thought he looked amazing! When he was done, he wanted to check himself in the mirror. My Dad advised against it. But he insisted. My Dad got up from making suggestions and stood behind him while he looked. They glanced just once. Something seemed to hit them. They doubled over. It was laughter that hit them. They slapped each other on the back. They laughed! And laughed! And laughed! They made such a ruckus that my Mom came rushing in!
It seemed to make our Aunt Esta a little bit nervous to have my Mother come running. She pointed her wand. She roared her voice.
It seemed to make our Aunt Esta a little nervous when my mom came rushing in. She pointed her wand. She shouted loudly.
"Where is the Silver Bird?" she roared.
"Where's the Silver Bird?" she shouted.
My Mother looked just as swoone-y as she could. She fell on her knees. She clasped her hands.
My mom looked as swoon-worthy as possible. She dropped to her knees. She clasped her hands.
"Oh, Cruel Witch," she said. "I saw the[Pg 88] bird! But I couldn't reach him! He was in the Poplar Tree!—However in the world did you put him there?—Was that what you were bribing the Butcher's Boy about this morning? Was that——?"
"Oh, Cruel Witch," she said. "I saw the[Pg 88] bird! But I couldn't get to him! He was in the Poplar Tree!—How on earth did you get him up there?—Was that what you were bribing the Butcher's Boy for this morning? Was that——?"
"Hush!" roared our Aunt Esta. "Your Doom has overtaken you! Go hence with the clatter of a Horse's Hoof until such time as your Incompetent Head may——"
"Hush!" shouted our Aunt Esta. "Your doom has caught up with you! Go away with the sound of a horse's hoof until your incompetent mind can——"
"Oh, it wasn't my head that was incompetent," said my Mother. "It was my legs. The Poplar Tree was so very tall! So very fluffy and undecided to climb! So——"
"Oh, it wasn't my head that was incapable," said my Mother. "It was my legs. The Poplar Tree was so incredibly tall! So very fluffy and unwilling to climb! So——"
"With the clatter of a Horse's Hoof!" insisted our Aunt Esta. "There can be no mercy!"
"With the sound of a horse's hoof!" insisted our Aunt Esta. "There can be no mercy!"
"None?" implored my Mother.
"None?" begged my mom.
"None!" said our Aunt Esta.
"None!" said Aunt Esta.
She gave my Mother two funny little wooden cups. They were something like clappers. You could hold them in your hand so they scarcely showed at all and make a[Pg 89] noise like a horse galloping across a bridge! Or trotting! Or anything! It made quite a loud noise! It was wonderful! My Mother started right away for the village. She had on white shoes. Her feet were very small. She sounded like a great team horse stumbling up the plank of a ferry-boat. "I think I'll go get the mail!" she said.
She gave my mom two funny little wooden cups. They were kind of like clappers. You could hold them in your hand so they hardly showed at all and make a[Pg 89] noise like a horse galloping over a bridge! Or trotting! Or anything! It made a pretty loud noise! It was amazing! My mom headed straight for the village. She was wearing white shoes. Her feet were very small. She sounded like a big horse stumbling up the ramp of a ferry-boat. "I think I'll go get the mail!" she said.
"Like that?" screamed my Father.
"Like that?" shouted my dad.
My Mother turned around. Her hair was all curly. There were laughs in her eyes.
My mom turned around. Her hair was all curly. There was laughter in her eyes.
"I have to!" she said. "I'm bewitched!"
"I have to!" she said. "I'm enchanted!"
"I'll go with you!" said my Father.
"I'll go with you!" my dad said.
My Mother turned around again. She looked at my Father! At his golden crown! At his white spangled wings! At the pink silk skirt over his arm!
My mom turned around again. She looked at my dad! At his golden crown! At his white, sparkling wings! At the pink silk skirt draped over his arm!
"Like—that?" said my Mother.
"Like this?" said my Mom.
My Father decided not to go.
My dad decided not to go.
The Rich Man said he considered the decision very wise.
The Rich Man said he thought the decision was really smart.
Way over on the other side of the green lilac hedge we heard my Mother trotting down the driveway. Clack-clack—clack—clack sounded the hoof-beats!
Way over on the other side of the green lilac hedge, we heard my mom walking down the driveway. Clack-clack—clack—clack went the hoofbeats!
"My Lord—she's pacing!" groaned my Father.
"My Lord—she's pacing!" my father groaned.
"Clever work!" said the Rich Man. "Was she ever in a Band? In a Jazz Band, you know, with Bantam Rooster whistles? And drums that bark like dogs?"
"Clever work!" said the Rich Man. "Has she ever been in a band? A jazz band, you know, with little rooster whistles? And drums that growl like dogs?"
"In a what?" cried my Father. He was awful mad.
"In a what?" my dad shouted. He was really angry.
Our Aunt Esta tried to soothe him with something worse. She turned to me.
Our Aunt Esta tried to calm him down with something even worse. She looked at me.
"Now, Ruthy-the-Rabbit," she said. "Let us see what you can do to redeem the ignominy of your impudent giggling!" She handed me the Bright Green and the Bright Red Celluloid fishes. She poked her wand at me. "Hopping all the way," she said. "Every step of the way, you understand,—bear these two fish to the Head-Waters of the Magic[Pg 91] Brook,—the little pool under the apple tree will do,—and start them ex—ex—peditiously down the Brook towards Rosalee!"
"Now, Ruthy-the-Rabbit," she said. "Let’s see what you can do to make up for your cheeky giggling!" She handed me the Bright Green and the Bright Red Celluloid fish. She pointed her wand at me. "Hopping all the way," she said. "Every step of the way, you understand—carry these two fish to the Head-Waters of the Magic[Pg 91] Brook—the little pool under the apple tree will work—and send them swiftly down the Brook towards Rosalee!"
"Yes'm," I said.
"Yes, ma'am," I said.
Our Aunt Esta turned to the Rich Man.
Our Aunt Esta faced the Rich Man.
"Foul Menial," she said. "Push my chariot a little further down the Lawn into the shade!"
"Useless servant," she said. "Move my carriage a bit further down the lawn into the shade!"
The Foul Menial pushed it.
The rude worker pushed it.
My Father pushed a little too.
My father pushed a bit too.
I hopped along beside them flopping my long ears. Our Aunt Esta looked ex-actly like a Witch! The Rich Man's black face was leaking a little but not much! It would have been easier if he hadn't tripped so often on his plaid shawl skirt! My Father's white wings flapped as he pushed! He looked like an angel who wasn't quite hatched! It was handsome!
I skipped alongside them, flopping my long ears. Our Aunt Esta looked just like a witch! The Rich Man's black face was leaking a bit, but not too much! It would have been easier if he hadn’t stumbled so often on his plaid shawl skirt! My Dad’s white wings flapped as he pushed! He looked like an angel that wasn’t fully hatched! It was beautiful!
When we got to the thickest shade there was a man's black felt hat bobbing along the top of the Japonica Hedge. It was[Pg 92] rather a soft-boiled looking hat. It was bobbing just as fast as it could towards the house.
When we reached the densest shade, we saw a man’s black felt hat bobbing along the top of the Japonica Hedge. It was[Pg 92] a pretty soft-looking hat. It was bouncing along as quickly as it could toward the house.
When our Aunt Esta saw the hat she screamed! She jumped from her chariot as though it had been flames! She tore the scraggly gray wig from her head! She tore the hump from her back! She kicked off her wooden shoes! Her feet were silk! She ran like the wind for the back door!
When our Aunt Esta saw the hat, she screamed! She jumped out of her cart as if it were on fire! She ripped the scraggly gray wig off her head! She pulled the hump off her back! She kicked off her wooden shoes! Her feet were like silk! She ran like the wind to the back door!
My Father ran for the Wood-Shed!
My dad ran for the wood shed!
The Rich Man dove into the Lilac Bush!
The Rich Man jumped into the Lilac Bush!
When the Rich Man was all through diving into the Lilac Bush he seemed to think that he was the only one present who hadn't done anything!
When the Rich Man was done exploring the Lilac Bush, he seemed to feel like he was the only one there who hadn't accomplished anything!
"What you so scared about, Ruthy?" he said. "What's the matter with everybody? Who's the Bloke?"
"What are you so scared of, Ruthy?" he said. "What's going on with everyone? Who's the guy?"
"It's the New Minister," I said.
"It's the new minister," I said.
"Has he got the Cholera or anything?" said the Rich Man.[Pg 93]
"Does he have cholera or something?" said the Rich Man.[Pg 93]
"No, not exactly," I explained. "He's just our Aunt Esta's Suitor!"
"No, not really," I explained. "He's just our Aunt Esta's boyfriend!"
"Your Aunt Esta's Suitor?" cried the Rich Man. "Suitor?" He clapped his hand over his mouth. He burst a safety-pin that helped lash the plaid shawl around him. "What do you mean,—'Suitor?'" he said.
"Your Aunt Esta's Suitor?" exclaimed the Rich Man. "Suitor?" He covered his mouth with his hand. He broke a safety pin that was holding the plaid shawl around him. "What do you mean, —'Suitor?'" he asked.
It seemed queer he was so stupid.
It seemed strange that he was so stupid.
"Why a Suitor," I explained, "is a Person Who Doesn't Suit—so he keeps right on coming most every day to see if he does! As soon as he suits, of course, he's your husband and doesn't come any more at all—because he's already there! The New Minister," I explained very patiently, "is a Suitor for our Aunt Esta's hand!"
"Why a suitor," I explained, "is someone who doesn’t seem like a match—so he keeps coming around almost every day to see if he can change that! Once he finally fits the bill, of course, he becomes your husband and then he doesn't come around anymore—because he's already there! The new minister," I explained very patiently, "is a suitor for our Aunt Esta's hand!"
We crawled through the Lilac Bush. We peeped out.
We crawled through the lilac bush. We peeked out.
Our Aunt Esta hadn't reached the back door at all. She sat all huddled up in a little heap on the embankment trying to keep the New Minister from seeing that she was[Pg 94] in her stocking-feet. But the New Minister didn't seem to see anything at all except her hands. Being a Suitor for her hands it was natural, I suppose, that he wasn't interested in anything except her hands. Her hands were on her hair. The scraggly gray wig had rumpled all the seriousness out of her hair. It looked quite jolly. The New Minister stared! And stared! And stared! Except for having no lovingness in them, her hands looked very much like my Mother's.
Our Aunt Esta hadn't even made it to the back door. She was all curled up on the embankment, trying to hide her stockinged feet from the New Minister. But he seemed completely focused on just her hands. Since he was interested in her hands, it made sense that he wasn't paying attention to anything else. Her hands were in her hair. The messy gray wig had messed up her hair completely, making it look kind of cheerful. The New Minister kept staring and staring! Her hands looked very much like my mother's, except they lacked any warmth.
"Our Aunt Esta's got—nice hands," I said.
"Our Aunt Esta has nice hands," I said.
The Rich Man burst another safety pin.
The Rich Man broke another safety pin.
"Yes, by Jove," he said. "And nice feet, too!" He seemed quite surprised. "How long's this minister fellow been coming here?" he said.
"Yeah, by Jove," he said. "And nice feet, too!" He looked pretty surprised. "How long has this minister guy been coming here?" he asked.
"Oh, I don't know," I said. "He comes whenever our Aunt Esta comes."
"Oh, I don't know," I said. "He shows up whenever our Aunt Esta does."
The Rich Man made a grunt. He looked at the Minister's hat.[Pg 95]
The Rich Man let out a grunt. He glanced at the Minister's hat.[Pg 95]
"Think of courting a woman," he said, "in a hat like that!"
"Consider trying to date a woman," he said, "while wearing a hat like that!"
"Oh, our Aunt Esta doesn't care anything at all about hats," I said.
"Oh, our Aunt Esta doesn't care about hats at all," I said.
"It's time she did!" said the Rich Man.
"It's about time she did!" said the Rich Man.
"We'll go out if you say so," I suggested, "and help them have a pleasant time."
"We can go out if you want," I suggested, "and help them have a good time."
The Rich Man was awful mad. He pointed at his plaid shawl! He pointed at his black face!
The Rich Man was really angry. He pointed at his checkered shawl! He pointed at his dark face!
"What?" he said. "Go out like this? And make a fool of myself before that Ninny-Hat?"
"What?" he said. "Go out like this? And embarrass myself in front of that Ninny-Hat?"
"Why, he'd love it!" I said.
"Of course, he'd love it!" I said.
The Rich Man choked.
The wealthy man choked.
"That's quite enough reason!" he said.
"That's definitely a good enough reason!" he said.
There was a noise in the wood-shed. We could see the noise through the window. It was my Father trying to untie his wings. He couldn't.
There was a noise in the wood-shed. We could see the noise through the window. It was my dad trying to untie his wings. He couldn't.
The Rich Man seemed to feel better suddenly. He began to mop his face.[Pg 96]
The Rich Man suddenly seemed to feel better. He started to wipe his face.[Pg 96]
"It's a great Game, all right," he said, "if you don't weaken!" He pulled my ears. "But why in the world, Ruthy——" he worried, "did she have to go and tuck that forty-three cents on to the end of the bill?"
"It's a great game, for sure," he said, "if you don't give up!" He tugged on my ears. "But why on earth, Ruthy—" he wondered, "did she have to add that forty-three cents to the end of the bill?"
"Why, that's her profit!" I explained.
"That's her profit!" I said.
"Her—profit?" gasped the Rich Man. "Her Profit?"
"Her—profit?" the Rich Man gasped. "Her Profit?"
"Why, she had to have something!" I explained. "She was planning to have more, of course! She was planning to go to Atlantic City! But everything costs so big! Even toys! It's——"
"She must have something!" I explained. "She was planning to have more, of course! She was planning to go to Atlantic City! But everything costs so much! Even toys! It's——"
"Her Profit?" gasped the Rich Man. "Forty-three cents on a two hundred dollar deal?" He began to laugh! And laugh! "And she calls herself a Business Woman?" he said. "Why, she ought to be in an Asylum!—All women, in fact, ought to be in Asylums—or else in homes of their own!" Quite furiously he began to pull my ears all over again. "Business Woman," he said.[Pg 97] "And both her feet would go at once in the hollow of my hand! Business Woman!"
"Her Profit?" exclaimed the Rich Man, shocked. "Forty-three cents on a two hundred dollar deal?" He started to laugh! And laugh! "And she calls herself a Business Woman?" he said. "Honestly, she should be in a mental hospital!—All women, in fact, should either be in mental hospitals or have their own homes!" He began to pull my ears furiously again. "Business Woman," he said. [Pg 97] "And both her feet would fit in the palm of my hand at the same time! Business Woman!"
Out in the roadway suddenly somebody sneezed.
Out on the road, someone suddenly sneezed.
It made the Rich Man jump awfully.
It made the Rich Man jump really hard.
"Ruthy, stay where you are!" he ordered.
"Ruthy, stay there!" he commanded.
"I can't!" I called back. "I'm already hopped out!"
"I can’t!" I shouted back. "I’m already out!"
From my hop-out I could see the Person Who Sneezed! Anybody would have known that it was Posie-with-the-Sick-Bones! She was sitting in an automobile peering through the hedge! There was a black woman with her!
From my jump out, I could see the Person Who Sneezed! Anyone would have recognized that it was Posie-with-the-Sick-Bones! She was sitting in a car, looking through the hedge! There was a Black woman with her!
The Rich Man crackled in the bushes. He reached out and grabbed my foot. He pulled me back. His face looked pretty queer.
The Rich Man rustled in the bushes. He reached out and grabbed my foot. He pulled me back. His face looked really strange.
"Yes, she's been there all the time," he whispered. "But not a soul knows it!—I wanted her to see it work!—I wanted to be sure that she liked it—But I was afraid to[Pg 98] bring her in! She catches everything so! And I knew there were children here! And I was afraid there might be something contagious!"
"Yeah, she's been here the whole time," he whispered. "But nobody knows it!—I wanted her to see it work!—I wanted to make sure she liked it—But I was scared to[Pg 98] bring her in! She picks up on everything so quickly! And I knew there were kids around! And I was worried there might be something contagious!"
He peered out through the Lilac Branches. There was quite a good deal to peer at.
He looked out through the lilac branches. There was a lot to see.
Down in the meadow Rosalee was still running up and down the soft banks of the brook trying to catch the Celluloid Fish. She had on a green dress. It was a slim dress like a willow wand. She had her shoes and stockings in one hand. And a great bunch of wild blue Forget-me-Nots in the other. Her hair was like a gold wave across her face. She looked pretty. The Springtime looked pretty too.—Out in the wood-shed my Father was still wrestling with his wings.
Down in the meadow, Rosalee was still running up and down the soft banks of the brook, trying to catch the Celluloid Fish. She was wearing a green dress. It was a slim dress like a willow twig. She held her shoes and stockings in one hand and a big bunch of wild blue Forget-me-Nots in the other. Her hair fell across her face like a wave of gold. She looked pretty. Spring looked pretty too.—Out in the shed, my dad was still struggling with his wings.
Up on the green mound by the house our Aunt Esta was still patting her hair while the New Minister stared at her hands.
Up on the green hill by the house, our Aunt Esta was still fixing her hair while the New Minister watched her hands.
The Rich Man turned very suddenly and stared at me.[Pg 99]
The Rich Man suddenly turned and glared at me.[Pg 99]
"Contagious?" he gasped out suddenly. "Why, upon my soul, Ruthie—it's just about the most contagious place that I ever was in—in my life!"
"Contagious?" he exclaimed suddenly. "I swear, Ruthie—it's one of the most contagious places I've ever been—in my life!"
He gave a funny little laugh. He glanced back over his shoulder towards the road. He groaned.
He let out a funny little laugh. He looked back over his shoulder at the road. He groaned.
"But I shall certainly be ruined, Ruthie," he said, "if my little daughter Posie or my little daughter Posie's Black Woman ever see me at close range—in these clothes!" He took my chin in his hands. He looked very deep into my eyes. "Ruthie," he said, "you seem to be a very intelligent child.—If you can think of any way—any way, I say—by which I can slink off undetected into the house—and be washed——"
"But I’m definitely going to be ruined, Ruthie," he said, "if my little daughter Posie or my little daughter Posie's Black Woman ever see me up close—in these clothes!" He took my chin in his hands and looked deeply into my eyes. "Ruthie," he said, "you seem to be a very smart kid. If you can think of any way—any way, I mean—that I can sneak back into the house undetected—and get cleaned up——"
"Oh Shucks! That's easy!" I said. "We'll make Posie be the Witch!"
"Oh no way! That's simple!" I said. "We'll have Posie be the Witch!"
When I hopped out this time I stayed hopped! I hopped right up on the wall! And stroked my ears![Pg 100]
When I jumped out this time, I really stayed jumped! I hopped right up on the wall! And patted my ears![Pg 100]
When Posie-with-the-Sick-Bones saw me she began to laugh! And clap her hands! And kick the Black Woman with her toes!
When Posie-with-the-Sick-Bones saw me, she started laughing! And clapping her hands! And kicking the Black Woman with her toes!
"Oh, I want to be the Witch!" she cried. "I want to be the Witch for ever and ever! And change everybody into everything! I'm going to wear it home in the automobile! And scare the Cook to Death! I'm going to change the Cook into a cup of Beef Tea! And throw her down the sink! I'm going to change my Poodle Dog into a New Moon!" she giggled. "I'm going to change my Doctor into a Balloon! And cut the string!"
"Oh, I want to be the Witch!" she exclaimed. "I want to be the Witch forever! And change everyone into everything! I'm going to wear it home in the car! And scare the Cook to death! I'm going to turn the Cook into a cup of Beef Tea! And dump her down the sink! I'm going to change my Poodle into a New Moon!" she laughed. "I'm going to turn my Doctor into a Balloon! And cut the string!"
The Rich Man seemed perfectly delighted. I could see his face in the bushes. He kept rubbing his hands! And nodding to me to go ahead!
The Rich Man looked completely happy. I could see his face through the bushes. He kept rubbing his hands! And nodding at me to continue!
I went ahead just as fast as I could.
I moved ahead as quickly as I could.
The Black Woman began to giggle a little. She giggled and opened the automobile door. She giggled and lifted Posie out. She giggled and carried Posie to the Witch's chariot.[Pg 101] She giggled and tied the Witch's hat under Posie's chin. She giggled and tied the humped-back cape around Posie's neck.
The Black Woman started to laugh softly. She laughed as she opened the car door. She laughed while lifting Posie out. She laughed and carried Posie to the Witch's chariot.[Pg 101] She laughed as she tied the Witch's hat under Posie's chin. She laughed while fastening the humped-back cape around Posie's neck.
Posie never stopped clapping her hands except when the Witch's Wig itched her nose.
Posie didn't stop clapping her hands, except when the Witch's Wig made her nose itch.
It was when the Witch's Wig itched her nose that the Rich Man slunk away on all fours to be washed. He giggled as he slunk. It looked friendly.
It was when the Witch's Wig itched her nose that the Rich Man crawled away on all fours to get cleaned up. He chuckled as he crawled. It looked friendly.
Carol came. He was pretty tired. But he had the Pink Breeze in his hands. It was Phlox! It was very pink! It was in a big flower pot! He puffed out his cheeks as he carried it and blew it into Breezes! It was pretty! It was very heavy! He knelt at the Witch's feet to offer it to her! When he looked up and saw the Strange Child in the Witch's Chair he dropped it! It broke and lay on the ground all crushed and spoiled! His mouth quivered! All the shine went out of his face![Pg 102]
Carol arrived. He was pretty tired. But he had the Pink Breeze in his hands. It was Phlox! It was super pink! It was in a big flower pot! He puffed out his cheeks as he carried it and blew it into Breezes! It was pretty! It was really heavy! He knelt at the Witch's feet to offer it to her! When he looked up and saw the Strange Child in the Witch's Chair, he dropped it! It broke and lay on the ground all crushed and ruined! His mouth quivered! All the excitement faded from his face![Pg 102]
It scared Posie to see all the shine go out of his face.
It frightened Posie to see all the brightness fade from his face.
"Oh, Boy—Boy, put back your smile!" she said.
"Oh, boy—boy, put your smile back!" she said.
Carol just stood and shook his head.
Carol just stood there and shook his head.
Posie began to scream.
Posie started screaming.
"Why doesn't he speak?" she screamed.
"Why isn't he talking?" she yelled.
"He can't," I said. "He hasn't any speech!"
"He can't," I said. "He doesn't have any speech!"
"Why doesn't he cry?" screamed Posie.
"Why isn't he crying?" shouted Posie.
"He can't," I said. "He hasn't any cry!"
"He can't," I said. "He doesn't have any voice!"
Posie stopped screaming.
Posie stopped yelling.
"Can't he even swear?" she said.
"Can't he even curse?" she said.
"No, he can't," I said. "He hasn't any swear!"
"No, he can't," I said. "He doesn't have any curse words!"
Posie looked pretty surprised.
Posie looked really surprised.
"I can speak!" she said. "I can cry! I can swear!"
"I can talk!" she said. "I can cry! I can curse!"
"You sure can, Little Missy!" said the Black Woman.
"You sure can, Little Missy!" said the Black woman.
Posie looked at Carol. She looked a long time. A little tear rolled down her cheek.[Pg 103]
Posie stared at Carol. She stared for a long time. A small tear ran down her cheek.[Pg 103]
"Never mind, Boy," she said. "I will help you make a new Pink Breeze!"
"Don't worry about it, kid," she said. "I'll help you create a new Pink Breeze!"
"Oh Lor, Little Missy," said the Black Woman. "You never helped no one do nothin' in your life!"
“Oh Lord, Little Missy,” said the Black Woman. “You’ve never helped anyone do anything in your life!”
"I will if I want to!" said Posie. "And we'll make a Larkspur-Colored Breeze too, if we want to!" she said. "And I'll have it on my window-sill all blue-y and frilly and fluttery when everything else in the room is horrid and hushed and smothery!—And we'll make a Green Breeze——" She gave a little cry. She looked at the Waving Meadow where all the long silver-tipped grasses ducked and dipped in the wind. She stretched out her arms. Her arms were no bigger than the handles of our croquet mallets. "We'll dig up all the Waving Meadow," she cried. "And pot it into Window-Sill Breezes for the hot people in the cities!"
"I will if I want to!" Posie exclaimed. "And we'll create a Larkspur-Colored Breeze too, if we feel like it!" she added. "And I'll have it on my windowsill all blue and frilly and fluttery when everything else in the room is dull and quiet and stuffy!—And we’ll make a Green Breeze——" She let out a little shout. She gazed at the Waving Meadow where all the long silver-tipped grasses swayed in the wind. She stretched out her arms. Her arms were no bigger than the handles of our croquet mallets. "We'll dig up all the Waving Meadow," she shouted. "And pot it into Window-Sill Breezes for the hot people in the cities!"
"You can't!" I said. "It would take[Pg 104] mor'n an hour! And you've got to be the Witch!"
"You can't!" I said. "It'll take[Pg 104] more than an hour! And you have to be the Witch!"
"I will not be the Witch!" said Posie. She began to scream! "It's my Game!" she screamed. "And I'll do anything I like with it!" She tore off her black pointed hat! She kicked off her stubby wooden shoes! She screamed to the Black Woman to come and bear her away!
"I will not be the Witch!" Posie shouted. She started screaming! "It's my Game!" she yelled. "And I'll do whatever I want with it!" She ripped off her black pointed hat! She kicked off her chunky wooden shoes! She yelled for the Black Woman to come and take her away!
While the Black Woman bore her away Carol walked beside them. He seemed very much interested that any one could make so much noise.
While the Black Woman carried her away, Carol walked beside them. He seemed really interested that anyone could make so much noise.
When Posie saw how much interested Carol was in the noise, she stopped en—tirely screaming to the Black Woman and screamed to Carol instead.
When Posie saw how interested Carol was in the noise, she stopped completely screaming at the Black Woman and yelled at Carol instead.
While Carol walked beside the Noise, I saw the New Minister come down the Road and go away. His face looked red.
While Carol walked next to the Noise, I saw the New Minister walk down the Road and leave. His face looked red.
Our Aunt Esta came running. She was very business-like. She snatched up her[Pg 105] wooden shoes and put them on! She crammed on the scraggly gray wig and the humped-back cape!
Our Aunt Esta rushed in. She was all business. She grabbed her[Pg 105] wooden shoes and put them on! She shoved on the messy gray wig and the hunched-back cape!
"Foul Menial!" she called. "Come at once and resume the Game!"
"Foul servant!" she shouted. "Come here right now and get back to the game!"
The Black Woman stepped out of the bushes. She looked very much surprised. But not half as surprised as our Aunt Esta.
The Black woman stepped out of the bushes. She looked really surprised. But not nearly as surprised as our Aunt Esta.
Our Aunt Esta rubbed her eyes! She rubbed them again! And again! She looked at the Black Woman's face. It was a real black face. She looked at the Black Woman's woolly hair.—It was real woolly hair! Her jaw dropped!
Our Aunt Esta rubbed her eyes! She rubbed them again! And again! She looked at the Black woman’s face. It was a real Black face. She looked at the Black woman’s woolly hair.—It was real woolly hair! Her jaw dropped!
"Ruthy-the-Rabbit, hop here!" she gasped.
"Ruthy-the-Rabbit, come here!" she gasped.
I hopped.
I jumped.
She put her lips close to my ear.
She leaned in close to my ear.
"Ruthy-the-Rabbit," she gasped. "Do I see what I think I see?"
"Ruthy-the-Rabbit," she gasped. "Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?"
"Yes, you do!" I said.
"Yes, you do!" I said.
She put her head down in her hands! She began to laugh! And laugh! And laugh![Pg 106] It was a queer laugh as though she couldn't stop! The tears ran out between her fingers!
She buried her face in her hands! She started laughing! And laughing! And laughing![Pg 106] It was a weird laugh like she couldn't control it! Tears streamed down between her fingers!
"Well—I certainly am a Witch!" she laughed. Her shoulders shook like sobs.
"Well—I definitely am a Witch!" she laughed. Her shoulders shook like she was crying.
The Rich Man came running! He had his watch in his hand! He was all clean and shining! He saw the Black Woman standing by the Witch's chair! He saw the Witch in the chair! He thought the Witch was Posie! He grabbed her right up in his arms and hugged her!
The Rich Man came running! He had his watch in his hand! He was all clean and shiny! He saw the Black Woman standing by the Witch's chair! He saw the Witch in the chair! He thought the Witch was Posie! He picked her right up in his arms and hugged her!
"Though I'm late for a dozen Directors' Meetings," he cried, "it's worth it, my Precious, to see you laugh!"
"Even though I’m late for a bunch of Directors' Meetings," he exclaimed, "it's totally worth it, my Precious, just to see you laugh!"
"I'm not your Precious!" cried our Aunt Esta. She bit! She tore! She scratched! She shook her scraggly gray wig-curls all over her face! It was like a mask! But all the time she kept right on laughing! She couldn't seem to stop!
"I'm not your Precious!" shouted our Aunt Esta. She bit! She tore! She scratched! She shook her messy gray wig-curls all over her face! It was like a mask! But through it all, she just kept laughing! She seemed unable to stop!
The Rich Man kissed her. And kissed her! Right through her scraggly gray wig-curls[Pg 107] he kissed her! He couldn't seem to stop!
The Rich Man kissed her. And kissed her! Right through her scraggly gray wig-curls[Pg 107] he kissed her! He couldn’t seem to stop!
"Now, at last, my Precious," he said. "We've learned how to live! We'll play more! We'll laugh more!"
"Now, at last, my Precious," he said. "We've figured out how to live! We'll play more! We'll laugh more!"
Our Aunt Esta tore off her wig! She tore off her hump! She shook her fist at the Rich Man! But she couldn't stop laughing!
Our Aunt Esta ripped off her wig! She took off her hump! She shook her fist at the Rich Man! But she couldn't stop laughing!
The Rich Man gave one awful gasp! He turned red! He turned white! He looked at the wood-shed window to see if my Father had seen him.
The Rich Man gasped! His face turned red! Then it went pale! He glanced at the wood-shed window to check if my Father had noticed him.
My Father had seen him!
My dad had seen him!
The Rich Man said things under his breath. That is, most of them were under his breath. He stalked to his car. He ordered the Black Woman to pick up the Real Posie and stalk to his car! He looked madder than Pirates!
The Rich Man muttered things quietly. Most of what he said was barely audible. He marched over to his car. He told the Black Woman to pick up the Real Posie and hurry to his car! He looked angrier than ever!
But when he had climbed into his car, and had started his engine, and was all ready to go, he stood up on the seat instead, and peered[Pg 108] over the hedge-top at our Aunt Esta! And grinned!
But once he got into his car, started the engine, and was all set to go, he stood up on the seat instead and looked over the top of the hedge at our Aunt Esta! And smiled!
Our Aunt Esta was standing just where he had left her. All the laughter was gone from her. But her eyes looked very astonished. Her cheeks were blazing red. Her hair was all gay and rumpled like a sky-terrier's. It seemed somehow to be rather becoming to our Aunt Esta to be kissed by mistake.
Our Aunt Esta was standing exactly where he had left her. All the laughter had faded from her. But her eyes looked very surprised. Her cheeks were bright red. Her hair was all messy and tousled like a sky-terrier's. It somehow seemed to suit our Aunt Esta to be kissed accidentally.
The Rich Man made a little noise in his throat. Our Aunt Esta looked up. She jumped. The Rich Man fixed his eyes right on her. His eyes were full of twinkles.
The Rich Man made a slight sound in his throat. Our Aunt Esta looked up. She jumped. The Rich Man locked his gaze on her. His eyes were full of sparkles.
"Talk about Be-Witchments!" he said. "Talk about—Be-Witchments!—I'll be back on Tuesday! What for?—Great Jumping Jehosophats!" he said. "It's enough that I'll be back!"
"Talk about Bewitchments!" he said. "Talk about—Bewitchments!—I'll be back on Tuesday! What for?—Great Jumping Jehosophats!" he said. "It's enough that I'll be back!"
My Father stuck his head and the tip of one battered wing out the wood-shed window. He started to say something. And cocked his ear instead.[Pg 109]
My dad poked his head and the end of one worn wing out of the wood-shed window. He began to say something but then listened instead.[Pg 109]
It was towards the village that he cocked his ear.
It was toward the village that he perked up his ears.
We all stopped and cocked our ears.
We all paused and listened closely.
It was a funny sound: Clack-Clack-Clack! Clack-Clack-Clack! Clack-Clack—Clack!
It was a funny sound: Clack-Clack-Clack! Clack-Clack-Clack! Clack-Clack—Clack!
It was my Mother cantering home across the wooden bridge.
It was my mom riding home across the wooden bridge.
It sounded glad.
It sounded happy.
My Father thought of a new way suddenly to escape from his wings! And ran to meet her!
My dad suddenly came up with a new way to break free from his limitations! And he ran to meet her!
THE BLINDED LADY
THE BLINDED LADY
The Blinded Lady lived in a little white cottage by the Mill Dam.
The Blinded Lady lived in a small white cottage by the Mill Dam.
She had twenty-seven cats! And a braided rug! And a Chinese cabinet all full of peacock-feather fans!
She had twenty-seven cats! And a braided rug! And a Chinese cabinet completely filled with peacock-feather fans!
Our Father and Mother took us to see them.
Our parents took us to see them.
It smelt furry.
It smelled like fur.
Carol wore his blue suit. Rosalee wore an almost grown-up dress. I wore my new middy blouse.
Carol wore his blue suit. Rosalee wore a dress that was almost grown-up. I wore my new middy blouse.
We looked nice.
We looked great.
The Blinded Lady looked nice too.
The Blinded Lady looked nice too.
She sat in a very little chair in the middle of a very large room. Her skirts were silk and very fat. They fluffed all around her like a pen-wiper. She had on a white lace cap. There were violets in the cap. Her eyes didn't look blinded.[Pg 114]
She sat in a tiny chair in the center of a huge room. Her skirts were made of silk and very voluminous. They flared out around her like a dust rag. She wore a white lace cap with violets in it. Her eyes didn’t look dazed.[Pg 114]
We sat on the edge of our chairs. And stared at her. And stared. She didn't mind.
We sat on the edge of our seats, just staring at her. We kept staring. She didn't mind.
All the cats came and purred their sides against our legs. It felt soft and sort of bubbly.
All the cats came and rubbed against our legs, purring. It felt soft and a bit bubbly.
The Blinded Lady recited poetry to us. She recited "Gray's Elegy in a Country Churchyard." She recited "The Charge of the Light Brigade." She recited "Bingen on the Rhine."
The Blinded Lady read us poetry. She read "Gray's Elegy in a Country Churchyard." She read "The Charge of the Light Brigade." She read "Bingen on the Rhine."
When she got all through reciting poetry she asked us if we knew any.
When she finished reciting poetry, she asked us if we knew any.
We did.
We did.
We knew "Onward Christian Soldiers," and "Hey Diddle, Diddle, the Cat and the Fiddle." And Rosalee knew two verses about
We knew "Onward Christian Soldiers," and "Hey Diddle, Diddle, the Cat and the Fiddle." And Rosalee knew two verses about
There was a young woman who you might know. By the name of Annabel Lee.
We hoped the Blinded Lady would be pleased.[Pg 115]
We hoped the Blinded Lady would be happy.[Pg 115]
She wasn't!
She wasn't!
The Blinded Lady said it wasn't nearly enough just to know the first two verses of anything! That you ought to know all the verses of everything! The Blinded Lady said that every baby just as soon as it was born ought to learn every poem that it possibly could so that if it ever grew up and was blinded it would have something to amuse itself with!
The Blinded Lady said it wasn't enough to only know the first two lines of anything! You should know all the lines of everything! The Blinded Lady said that every baby, as soon as it was born, should learn as many poems as possible so that if it ever grew up and went blind, it would have something to keep itself entertained!
We promised we would!
We said we would!
We asked the Blinded Lady what made her blinded.
We asked the Blinded Lady what caused her blindness.
She said it was because she made all her father's shirts when she was six years old!
She said it was because she made all her dad's shirts when she was six years old!
We promised we wouldn't!
We said we wouldn't!
"And now," said the Blinded Lady, "I'd like to have the Little Dumb Boy come forward and stand at my knee so I can touch his face!"
"And now," said the Blinded Lady, "I'd like the Little Dumb Boy to come forward and stand by my side so I can touch his face!"
Carol didn't exactly like to be called the Little Dumb Boy, but he came forward very[Pg 116] politely and stood at the Blinded Lady's knee. The Blinded Lady ran her fingers all up and down his face. It tickled his nose. He looked puckered.
Carol didn't really like being called the Little Dumb Boy, but he stepped forward very[Pg 116] politely and stood by the Blinded Lady's knee. The Blinded Lady ran her fingers all over his face. It tickled his nose. He looked scrunched up.
"It's a pleasant face!" said the Blinded Lady.
"It's a nice face!" said the Blinded Lady.
"We like it!" said my Father.
"We love it!" said my Dad.
"Oh very much!" said my Mother.
"Oh, absolutely!" said my Mother.
"Has he always been dumb?" said the Blinded Lady.
"Has he always been stupid?" asked the Blinded Lady.
"Always," said my Mother. "But never deaf!"
"Always," my mom said. "But never silent!"
"Oh Tush!" said the Blinded Lady. "Don't be stuffy! Afflictions were meant to talk about!"
"Oh Tush!" said the Blinded Lady. "Don't be uptight! We’re supposed to talk about our struggles!"
"But Carol, you see," said my Mother, "can't talk about his! So we don't!"
"But Carol, you see," my mom said, "can't talk about this! So we don't!"
"Oh—Tush!" said the Blinded Lady.
"Oh—Tush!" said the Blind Lady.
She pushed Carol away. She thumped her cane on the braided rug.
She shoved Carol aside. She hit her cane against the braided rug.
"There's one here, isn't there," she said, "that hasn't got anything to be sensitive[Pg 117] about? Let the Young Lassie come forward," she said, "so I can touch her face!"
"There's one here, isn't there," she said, "that doesn't have anything to be sensitive[Pg 117] about? Let the Young Lassie come forward," she said, "so I can touch her face!"
It made Rosalee very pink to have her face explored.
It made Rosalee blush to have her face touched.
The Blinded Lady laughed as she explored it.
The Blinded Lady laughed as she examined it.
"Ha!" she said. "Age about seventeen? Gold hair? Sky-blue eyes? Complexion like peaches and cream?—Not much cause here," laughed the Blinded Lady, "for this Young Lassie ever to worry when she looks in the glass!"
"Ha!" she said. "Around seventeen? Blonde hair? Light blue eyes? Skin like peaches and cream?—Not much reason for this young girl to stress when she looks in the mirror!"
"Oh but she does!" I cried. "She worries herself most to death every time she looks!—She's afraid her hair will turn gray before Derry comes!"
"Oh, but she does!" I said. "She worries herself to death every time she looks!—She's afraid her hair will go gray before Derry gets here!"
"S-s-h!" said everybody.
"Shh!" everyone said.
The Blinded Lady cocked her head. She ruffled herself. It looked like feathers.
The Blinded Lady tilted her head. She fluffed herself up. It looked like feathers.
"Derry?" said the Blinded Lady. "Who's Derry?—A beau?"
"Derry?" said the Blinded Lady. "Who's Derry?—A boyfriend?"
"Oh Derry's just a young friend of ours," he said.
"Oh, Derry's just a young friend of ours," he said.
"He lives in Cuba," said my Mother.
"He lives in Cuba," my mom said.
"Cuba's an island!" I said. "It floats in water! They eat bananas! They have fights! It's very hot! There's lots of moonlight! Derry's father says that when Rosalee's married he'll build a——."
"Cuba's an island!" I said. "It’s surrounded by water! They eat bananas! They have fights! It’s really hot! There’s plenty of moonlight! Derry’s dad says that when Rosalee’s married he’ll build a——."
"Hush, Ruthy!" said my Father. "You've talked quite enough already!"
"Hush, Ruthy!" said my Dad. "You've said more than enough already!"
The Blinded Lady patted her skirts. They billowed all around her like black silk waves. It looked funny.
The Blinded Lady patted her skirts. They flowed around her like black silk waves. It looked amusing.
"H-m-m-mmm!" she said. "Let the Child-Who's-Talked-Too-Much-Already come forward now so that I can feel her face!"
"H-m-m-mmm!" she said. "Let the Child-Who's-Talked-Too-Much-Already come forward now so that I can feel her face!"
I went forward just as fast as I could.
I rushed forward as quickly as I could.
The Blinded Lady touched my forehead.
The Blinded Lady touched my forehead.
She smoothed my nose,—my cheeks,—my chin.
She patted my nose, my cheeks, my chin.
"U-m-mmm," she said. "And 'Ruthy' you say is what you call her?"[Pg 119]
"U-m-mmm," she said. "So you call her 'Ruthy'?"[Pg 119]
My Father twinkled his eyes.
My dad twinkled his eyes.
"We have to call her something!" he said politely.
"We need to call her something!" he said politely.
"And is this bump on the forehead a natural one?" said the Blinded Lady. "Or an accidental one?"
"And is this bump on the forehead a natural one?" asked the Blinded Lady. "Or is it an accidental one?"
"Both!" said my Father. "That is, it's pre-em-i-nently natural for our daughter Ruthy to have an accidental bump on her forehead."
"Both!" said my dad. "I mean, it’s totally normal for our daughter Ruthy to have a random bump on her forehead."
"And there are, I infer," said the Blinded Lady, "one or two freckles on either side of the nose?"
"And I guess," said the Blinded Lady, "there are a couple of freckles on either side of the nose?"
"Your estimate," said my Father, "is conservative."
"Your estimate," said my dad, "is pretty low."
"And the hair?" said the Blinded Lady. "It hasn't exactly the texture of gold."
"And the hair?" said the Blinded Lady. "It doesn't really feel like gold."
"'Penny-colored' we call it!" said my Mother.
"'Penny-colored' is what we call it!" my mom said.
"And not exactly a new penny at that, is it?" said the Blinded Lady.
"And it's not exactly a new penny either, is it?" said the Blinded Lady.
"N—o," said my Mother. "But rather jolly[Pg 120] all the same like a penny that's just bought two sticks of candy instead of one!"
"Not at all," my mother said. "But still quite cheerful, like a penny that just bought two sticks of candy instead of one!"
"And the nose turns up a little?" said the Blinded Lady.
"And the nose lifts slightly?" said the Blinded Lady.
"Well maybe just a—trifle," admitted my Mother.
"Well, maybe just a little," my mom admitted.
The Blinded Lady stroked my face all over again. "U-m-m-m," she said. "Well at least it's something to be thankful for that everything is perfectly normal!" She put her hands on my shoulders. She shook me a little. "Never, never, Ruthie," she said, "be so foolish as to complain because you're not pretty!"
The Blinded Lady gently touched my face again. "Hmm," she said. "Well, at least it's something to be thankful for that everything is perfectly normal!" She placed her hands on my shoulders and shook me a little. "Never, never, Ruthie," she said, "be so foolish as to complain because you're not pretty!"
"No'm!" I promised.
"No!" I promised.
"Put all the Beauty you can inside your head!" said the Blinded Lady.
"Fill your mind with all the beauty you can!" said the Blinded Lady.
"Yes'm!" I promised. "And I've just thought of another one that I know! It's about
"Sure thing!" I promised. "And I've just thought of another one that I know! It's about
"Because I'm going to be Queen of the May, mom, I'm going to be——" [Pg 121]
"Foolish!" said the Blinded Lady. "It wasn't sounds I was thinking of this time, but sights!" She pushed me away. She sighed and sighed. It puffed her all out. "O—h," she sighed. "O—h! Three pairs of Young Eyes and all the World waiting to be looked at!"
"Foolish!" said the Blinded Lady. "This time, I wasn't thinking of sounds, but sights!" She pushed me away. She sighed and sighed. It puffed her all up. "O—h," she sighed. "O—h! Three pairs of Young Eyes and the whole World waiting to be seen!"
She rocked her chair. She rocked it very slowly. It was like a little pain.
She rocked her chair. She rocked it very slowly. It felt like a little pain.
"I never saw anything after I was seventeen!" she said. "And God himself knows that I hadn't seen anywheres near enough before that! Just the little grass road to the village now and then on a Saturday afternoon to buy the rice and the meat and the matches and the soap! Just the wood-lot beyond the hill-side where the Arbutus always blossomed so early! Just old Neighbor Nora's new patch-work quilt!—Just a young man's face that looked in once at the window to ask where the trout brook was! But even these pictures," said the Blinded Lady, "They're[Pg 122] fading! Fading! Sometimes I can't remember at all whether old Nora's quilt was patterned in diamond shapes or squares. Sometimes I'm not so powerful sure whether the young man's eye were blue or brown! After all, it's more'n fifty years ago. It's new pictures that I need now," she said. "New pictures!"
"I haven't seen anything since I was seventeen!" she said. "And God knows I didn’t see nearly enough before that! Just the small grass road to the village every now and then on a Saturday afternoon to buy rice, meat, matches, and soap! Just the woodlot beyond the hillside where the Arbutus bloomed so early! Just old Neighbor Nora's new patchwork quilt!—Just a young man's face that peeked in at the window to ask where the trout brook was! But even those images," said the Blinded Lady, "They're[Pg 122] fading! Fading! Sometimes I can't remember if old Nora's quilt was in diamond shapes or squares. Sometimes I'm not even sure if the young man's eyes were blue or brown! After all, it's been more than fifty years. I need new images now," she said. "New images!"
She took a peppermint from a box. She didn't pass 'em. She rocked her chair. And rocked. And rocked. She smiled a little. It wasn't a real smile. It was just a smile to save her dress. It was just a little gutter to catch her tears.
She took a peppermint from a box. She didn't share any. She rocked her chair. And rocked. And rocked. She smiled a little. It wasn't a genuine smile. It was just a smile to protect her dress. It was just a little gutter to catch her tears.
"Oh dear me—Oh dear me—Oh dear me!" said my Mother.
"Oh dear—oh dear—oh dear!" my mother said.
"Stop your babbling!" said the Blinded Lady. She sniffed. And sniffed. "But I'll tell you what I'll do," she said. "These children can come back here next Saturday afternoon and——."
"Quit your talking!" said the Blinded Lady. She sniffed. And sniffed. "But here's what I'll do," she said. "These kids can come back here next Saturday afternoon and——."
"Why there's no reason in the world," said[Pg 123] my Mother, "why they shouldn't come every day!"
"There's absolutely no reason in the world," said[Pg 123] my Mother, "why they shouldn't come every day!"
The Blinded Lady stopped rocking. She almost screamed.
The Blinded Lady stopped rocking. She nearly screamed.
"Every day?" she said. "Mercy no! Their feet are muddy! And besides it's tiresome! But they can come next Saturday I tell you! And I'll give you a prize! Yes, I'll give two prizes—for the two best new pictures that they bring me to think about! And the first prize shall be a Peacock Feather Fan!" said the Blinded Lady. "And the second prize shall be a Choice of Cats!"
"Every day?" she said. "No way! Their feet are muddy! Plus, it's exhausting! But they can come next Saturday, I promise! And I'll give you a prize! Yes, I'll give two prizes—for the two best new pictures they bring for me to think about! And the first prize will be a Peacock Feather Fan!" said the Blinded Lady. "And the second prize will be a Choice of Cats!"
"A Choice of Cats?" gasped my Father.
"A Choice of Cats?" my dad gasped.
The Blinded Lady thumped her cane. She thumped it pretty hard. It made you glad your toes weren't under it.
The Blinded Lady slammed her cane down. She slammed it pretty hard. You were really glad your toes weren't under it.
"Now mind you, Children!" she said.
"Now listen up, kids!" she said.
"It's got to be a new picture! It's got to be something you've seen yourself! The most beautifulest! The most darlingest thing that you've ever seen! Go out in the field I say![Pg 124] Go out in the woods! Go up on the mountain top! And look around! Nobody I tell you can ever make another person see anything that he hasn't seen himself! Now be gone!" said the Blinded Lady. "I'm all tuckered out!"
"It's got to be a new picture! It's got to be something you've seen yourself! The most beautiful! The most adorable thing that you've ever seen! Go out in the field, I say![Pg 124] Go out in the woods! Go up on the mountaintop! And look around! Nobody, I tell you, can ever make another person see anything that they haven't seen themselves! Now be gone!" said the Blinded Lady. "I'm all worn out!"
"Why I'm sure," said my Father, "we never would have come at all if we hadn't supposed that——."
"Of course," my dad said, "we never would have shown up at all if we hadn't thought that——."
The Blinded Lady shook her cane right at my Father.
The Blinded Lady pointed her cane directly at my Dad.
"Don't be stuffy!" she said. "But get out!"
"Don't be uptight!" she said. "Just get out!"
We got out.
We exited.
Old Mary who washed and ironed and cooked for the Blinded Lady showed us the shortest way out. The shortest way out was through the wood-shed. There were twenty-seven little white bowls of milk on the wood-shed floor. There was a cat at each bowl. It sounded lappy! Some of the cats were black. Some of the cats were gray. Some of the cats were white.[Pg 125]
Old Mary, who washed, ironed, and cooked for the Blinded Lady, showed us the quickest way out. The fastest route led through the wood-shed. There were twenty-seven small white bowls of milk on the floor of the wood-shed. There was a cat at each bowl. It sounded like they were lapping! Some of the cats were black, some were gray, and some were white.[Pg 125]
There was an old tortoise-shell cat. He had a crumpled ear. He had a great scar across his nose. He had a broken leg that had mended crooked.
There was an old tortoiseshell cat. He had a bent ear. He had a big scar across his nose. He had a broken leg that had healed crooked.
Most of the cats were tortoise-shell and black and gray and white! It looked pretty! It looked something the way a rainbow would look if it was fur! And splashed with milk instead of water!
Most of the cats were tortoiseshell and black and gray and white! It looked beautiful! It was like a rainbow but made of fur! And splashed with milk instead of water!
"How many quarts does it take?" said my Mother.
"How many quarts does it take?" my mom asked.
"Quarts?" said Old Mary. She sniffed. "Quarts? It takes a whole Jersey cow!"
"Quarts?" said Old Mary. She sniffed. "Quarts? It takes an entire Jersey cow!"
The Blinded Lady called Rosalee to come back. I went with her. I held her hand very hard for fear we would be frightened.
The Blinded Lady called Rosalee to come back. I went with her. I held her hand tightly, worried we might get scared.
There was a White Kitten in the Blinded Lady's Lap. It was a white Angora. It wasn't any bigger than a baby rabbit. It had a blue ribbon on its neck. It looked very pure. Its face said "Ruthy, I'd like very much to be your kitten!"[Pg 126]
There was a white kitten in the blind lady's lap. It was an Angora, no bigger than a baby rabbit. It had a blue ribbon around its neck. It looked very innocent. Its face seemed to say, "Ruthy, I would really love to be your kitten!"[Pg 126]
But the Blinded Lady's face didn't know I was there at all.
But the Blinded Lady's face had no idea I was there at all.
"Young Lassie," said the Blinded Lady. "What is the color of your Derry's eyes?"
"Young girl," said the Blinded Lady. "What color are your Derry's eyes?"
"Why—why—black!" said Rosalee.
"Why—why—black!" said Rosalee.
"U-m-mmm," said the Blinded Lady. "Black?" She began to munch a peppermint. "U-m-m-m," she said. She jerked her head. Her nose looked pretty sharp. "That's right, Young Lassie!" she cried. "Love early! Never mind what the old folks say! Sometimes there isn't any late! Love all you can! Love——!" She stopped suddenly. She sank back in her skirts again. And rocked! Her nose didn't look sharp any more. Her voice was all whispers. "Lassie," she whispered, "when you choose your Peacock Feather Fan—choose the one on the top shelf! It's the best one! It's sandal wood! It's——"
"U-m-mmm," said the Blinded Lady. "Black?" She started to chew on a peppermint. "U-m-m-m," she said. She tilted her head. Her nose looked pretty sharp. "That's right, Young Lassie!" she exclaimed. "Love early! Don't worry about what the old folks say! Sometimes there isn't a 'late'! Love as much as you can! Love——!" She suddenly stopped. She sank back into her skirts again. And rocked! Her nose didn't look sharp anymore. Her voice was all whispers. "Lassie," she whispered, "when you pick your Peacock Feather Fan—choose the one on the top shelf! It's the best one! It's sandalwood! It's——"
My boots made a creak.
My boots creaked.
"There's someone else in this room besides the Young Lassie!" she cried.
"There's someone else in this room besides the Young Lassie!" she exclaimed.
I was frightened. I told a lie.
I was scared. I lied.
"You're en—tirely mistaken!" I said. I perked Rosalee's hand. We ran for our lives. We ran as fast as we could. It was pretty fast!
"You're completely wrong!" I said. I grabbed Rosalee's hand. We ran for our lives. We ran as fast as we could. It was pretty quick!
When we got out to the Road our Father and Mother were waiting for us. They looked pleasant. We liked their looks very much.
When we got to the road, our mom and dad were waiting for us. They looked friendly. We really liked how they looked.
Carol was waiting too. He had his eyes shut. His mouth looked very surprised.
Carol was waiting too. He had his eyes closed. His mouth looked really surprised.
"Carol's trying to figure out how it would feel to be blind," said my Mother.
"Carol's trying to imagine what it would be like to be blind," my mother said.
"Oh!" said Rosalee.
"Oh!" Rosalee exclaimed.
"O—h!" said I.
"Oh!" I said.
Carol clapped his hands.
Carol applauded.
Rosalee clapped her hands.
Rosalee applauded.
I clapped my hands.
I snapped my fingers.
It was wonderful! We all thought of it at the same moment! We shut our eyes perfectly[Pg 128] tight and played we were blinded all the way home!
It was fantastic! We all thought of it at the same time! We closed our eyes tight[Pg 128] and pretended we were blind all the way home!
Our Father and Mother had to lead us. It was pretty bumpy! I peeped some! Rosalee walked with her hands stretched way out in front of her as though she was reaching for something. She looked like a picture. It was like a picture of something very gentle and wishful that she looked like. It made me feel queer. Carol walked with his nose all puckered up as though he was afraid something smelly was going to hit him. It didn't make me feel queer at all. It made me laugh.
Our Mom and Dad had to guide us. It was kind of bumpy! I peeked a bit! Rosalee walked with her arms stretched way out in front of her like she was trying to grasp something. She looked like a picture. It was like a picture of something very gentle and hopeful that she resembled. It made me feel strange. Carol walked with his nose all scrunched up like he was worried something stinky was going to get to him. That didn’t make me feel strange at all. It made me laugh.
It didn't make my Father laugh.
It didn't make my dad laugh.
"Now see here, you young Lunatics," said my Father. "If you think your Mother and I are going to drag you up the main village street—acting like this?"
"Listen up, you crazy kids," said my dad. "Do you really think your mom and I are going to drag you down the main village street acting like this?"
We were sorry, we explained! But it had to be!
We were sorry, we explained! But it had to be!
When we got to the village street we[Pg 129] bumped right into the Old Doctor. We bumped him pretty hard! He had to sit down! I climbed into his lap.
When we reached the village street we[Pg 129] ran straight into the Old Doctor. We knocked into him pretty hard! He had to sit down! I climbed onto his lap.
"Of course I don't know that it's you," I said. "But I think it is!"
"Of course I don't know that it's you," I said. "But I really think it is!"
The Old Doctor seemed pretty astonished. He snatched at my Father and my Mother.
The Old Doctor looked pretty shocked. He grabbed my Dad and my Mom.
"Great Zounds, Good People!" he cried. "What fearful calamity has overtaken your offspring?"
"Good heavens, everyone!" he shouted. "What terrible misfortune has happened to your child?"
"Absolutely nothing at all," said my Father, "compared to what is going to overtake them as soon as I get them home!"
"Absolutely nothing at all," said my dad, "compared to what is going to happen to them as soon as I get them home!"
"We're playing blinded," said Rosalee.
"We're playing blinded," Rosalee said.
"We've been to see the Blinded Lady!" I explained.
"We went to see the Blinded Lady!" I explained.
"We're going to get prizes," said Rosalee. "Real prizes! A Peacock Feather Fan!"
"We're going to win prizes," said Rosalee. "Real prizes! A Peacock Feather Fan!"
"And the Choice of Cats!" I explained.
"And the Choice of Cats!" I said.
"For telling the Blinded Lady next Saturday," cried Rosalee, "the prettiest thing that we've ever seen!"[Pg 130]
"For telling the Blinded Lady next Saturday," shouted Rosalee, "the cutest thing we've ever seen!"[Pg 130]
"Not just the prettiest!" I explained. "But the most preciousest!"
"Not just the prettiest!" I explained. "But the most precious!"
"So we thought we'd shut our eyes!" said Rosalee. "All the way home! And find out what Sight it was that we missed the most!—Sunshine I think it is!" said Rosalee. "Sunshine and all the pretty flickering little shadows! And the way the slender white church spire flares through the Poplar Trees! Oh I shall make up a picture about sunshine!" said Rosalee.
"So we thought we'd close our eyes!" said Rosalee. "The whole way home! And figure out what we missed seeing the most!—Sunshine, I think that’s it!" said Rosalee. "Sunshine and all the beautiful flickering little shadows! And how the slender white church spire stands out against the Poplar Trees! Oh, I’m going to create a picture about sunshine!" said Rosalee.
"Oh, Sh—h!" said my Mother. "You mustn't tell each other what you decide. That would take half the fun and the surprise out of the competition!"
"Oh, shhh!" said my mom. "You shouldn't tell each other what you decide. That would spoil half the fun and the surprise of the competition!"
"Would—it?" said Rosalee. "Would it?" She turned to the Old Doctor. She slipped into the curve of his arm. The curve of his arm seemed to be all ready for her. She reached up and patted his face. "You Old Darling," she said. "In all the world what[Pg 131] is the most beautiful—est sight that you have ever seen?"
"Would it?" Rosalee asked. She looked at the Old Doctor and nestled into the curve of his arm, which felt perfectly shaped for her. She lifted her hand and gently patted his face. "You Old Darling," she said. "What[Pg 131] is the most beautiful sight that you have ever seen in the whole world?"
The Old Doctor gave an awful swallow.
The Old Doctor let out a terrible swallow.
"Youth!" he said.
"Youth!" he said.
"Oh, youth Fiddle-sticks!" said my Father. "How ever would one make a picture of that? All arms and legs! And wild ideas! Believe me that if I ever once get these wild ideas and legs and arms home to-day there will be——"
"Oh, come on!" my father said. "How on earth would you even make a picture of that? All arms and legs! And crazy ideas! Trust me, if I ever manage to bring these crazy ideas and arms and legs home today, there will be——"
We never heard what there would be! 'Cause we bumped into the Store-Keeping Man instead! And had to tell him all about it!
We never found out what was going to happen! Because we ran into the Store-Keeping Man instead! And had to tell him all about it!
Nobody kissed the Store-Keeping Man. He smelt of mice and crackers. We talked to him just as we would have talked to Sugar or Potatoes.
Nobody kissed the Store-Keeping Man. He smelled like mice and crackers. We talked to him just like we would have talked to Sugar or Potatoes.
"Mr. Store-Keeping Man," we said. "You are very wise! You have a store! And a wagon! And a big iron safe! And fly-papers besides!—In all the world—what is[Pg 132] the most beautifulest thing that you have ever seen?"
"Mr. Store-Keeping Man," we said. "You’re so wise! You have a store! And a wagon! And a big iron safe! And fly papers too!—In all the world—what is[Pg 132] the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?"
The Store-Keeping Man didn't have to worry about it at all. He never even swallowed. The instant he crossed his hands on his white linen stomach he knew!
The Store-Keeping Man didn’t have to worry about it at all. He never even swallowed. The moment he crossed his hands on his white linen stomach, he knew!
"My Bank Book!" he said.
"My Banking App!" he said.
My Father laughed. "Now you naughty children," said my Father, "I trust you'll be satisfied to proceed home with your eyes open!"
My dad laughed. "Now you mischievous kids," my dad said, "I hope you're happy to head home with your eyes wide open!"
But my Mother said no matter how naughty we were we couldn't go home without buying pop-corn at the pop-corn stand!
But my mom said that no matter how misbehaved we were, we couldn't go home without buying popcorn at the popcorn stand!
So we had to tell the Pop-Corn Man all about it too! The Pop-Corn Man was very little. He looked like a Pirate. He had black eyes. He had gold rings through his ears. We loved him a good deal!
So we had to tell the Pop-Corn Man everything too! The Pop-Corn Man was really small. He looked like a pirate. He had dark eyes. He had gold hoops in his ears. We liked him a lot!
"In all the world—" we asked the Pop-Corn Man, "what is the most beautiful—est sight that you have ever seen?"[Pg 133]
"In all the world—" we asked the Pop-Corn Man, "what is the most beautiful sight you've ever seen?"[Pg 133]
It took the Pop-Corn Man an awful long time to think! It took him so long that while he was thinking he filled our paper bags till they busted! It was a nice bustedness!
It took the Pop-Corn Man an incredibly long time to think! It took him so long that while he was thinking, he filled our paper bags until they popped! It was a nice popping!
"The most beautifulest thing—in all zee world?" said the Pop-Corn Man. "In all zee world? It was in my Italy! In such time as I was no more than one bambino I did see zee peacock, zee great blue peacock stride out through zee snow-storm of apple-blossoms! And dance to zee sun!"
"The most beautiful thing—in the whole world?" said the Pop-Corn Man. "In the whole world? It was in my Italy! When I was just a little kid, I saw the peacock, the magnificent blue peacock, strut through the snowstorm of apple blossoms! And dance in the sunlight!"
"O—h," said Rosalee. "How pretty!"
"O—h," said Rosalee. "So pretty!"
"Pretty?" said the Pop-Corn Man. "It was to zee eyes one miracle of remembrances! Zee blue! Zee gold! Zee dazzle! Zee soft fall of zee apple-blossoms!—Though I live to be zee hundred! Though I go blind! Though I go prison! Though my pop-corn all burn up! It fade not! Not never! That peacock! That apple-blossom! That shiver!"
"Pretty?" said the Popcorn Man. "It was a miracle to the eyes full of memories! The blue! The gold! The sparkle! The gentle fall of the apple blossoms!—Even if I live to be a hundred! Even if I go blind! Even if I end up in prison! Even if all my popcorn burns up! It won’t fade! Never! That peacock! That apple blossom! That thrill!"
"Our supper will all burn up," said my Mother, "if you children don't open your[Pg 134] eyes and run home! Already I think I can smell scorched Ginger-bread!"
"Our dinner is going to burn," my mom said, "if you kids don't open your[Pg 134] eyes and hurry home! I can already smell the burnt gingerbread!"
We children all opened our eyes and ran home!
We all opened our eyes and ran home!
My Mother laughed to see us fly!
My mom laughed to see us flying!
My Father laughed a little!
My dad laughed a bit!
We thought about the Peacock as we ran! We thought quite a little about the Ginger-bread! We wished we had a Peacock! We hoped we had a Ginger-bread!
We thought about the Peacock as we ran! We thought quite a bit about the Gingerbread! We wished we had a Peacock! We hoped we had a Gingerbread!
Our Home looked nice. It was as though we hadn't seen it for a long while. It was as though we hadn't seen anything for a long while! The Garden didn't look like Just a Garden any more! It looked like a Bower! Carol's tame crow came hopping up the gravel walk! We hadn't remembered that he was so black! The sun through the kitchen window was real gold! There was Ginger-bread!
Our Home looked great. It felt like we hadn't seen it in ages. It felt like we hadn't seen anything in a long time! The Garden didn’t just look like a Garden anymore! It looked like a Bower! Carol's pet crow came hopping up the gravel path! We had forgotten how black he was! The sun shining through the kitchen window was pure gold! There was Gingerbread!
"Oh dear—Oh dear—Oh dear!" said Rosalee. "In a world so full of beautiful things—however[Pg 135] shall we choose what to tell the Blinded Lady?"
"Oh no—Oh no—Oh no!" said Rosalee. "In a world so full of beautiful things—however[Pg 135] are we supposed to decide what to tell the Blinded Lady?"
Carol ran to the desk. He took a pencil. He took a paper. He slashed the words down. He held it out for us to see.
Carol ran to the desk. He grabbed a pencil. He picked up a piece of paper. He scribbled the words down. He held it out for us to see.
"I know what I'm going to choose," said the words.
"I know what I'm going to pick," said the words.
He took his pencil. He ran away.
He grabbed his pencil and ran away.
Rosalee took her pencil. She ran away. Over her shoulder she called back something. What she called back was "Oh Goody! I know what I'm going to choose!"
Rosalee grabbed her pencil. She ran off. Over her shoulder, she shouted something. What she shouted was, "Oh yay! I know what I'm going to pick!"
I took my Father's pencil. I ran away. I didn't run very far. I found a basket instead. It was a pretty basket. I made a nest for the White Kitten in case I should win it! I lined the nest with green moss. There was a lot of sunshine in the moss. And little blue flowers. I forgot to come home for supper. That's how I chose what I was going to write![Pg 136]
I took my dad's pencil and ran away. I didn't go very far. I found a cute basket instead. I made a nest for the white kitten in case I won it! I lined the nest with green moss. There was plenty of sunshine on the moss, and little blue flowers. I forgot to come home for dinner. That's how I decided what I was going to write![Pg 136]
When we woke up the next morning we all felt very busy. It made the day seem funny.
When we woke up the next morning, we all felt really busy. It made the day feel weird.
It made every day that happened seem funny.
It made every day feel amusing.
Every day somebody took somebody's pencil and ran away! My Mother couldn't find anything! Not children! Not pencils!
Every day someone would grab someone's pencil and take off! My mom couldn't find anything! Not the kids! Not the pencils!
Rosalee took the Dictionary Book besides.
Rosalee grabbed the dictionary as well.
"Anybody'd think," said my Father, "that this was a Graduation Essay you were making instead of just a simple little word-picture for a Blinded Lady!"
"Anyone would think," said my Father, "that you were creating a Graduation Essay instead of just a simple little description for a Blinded Lady!"
"Word-picture?" said Rosalee. "What I'm trying to make is a Peacock Feather Fan!"
"Word-picture?" Rosalee asked. "What I'm trying to create is a Peacock Feather Fan!"
"I wish there were three prizes instead of two!" said my Mother.
"I wish there were three prizes instead of two!" my mom said.
"Why?" said my Father.
"Why?" said my dad.
Carol came and kicked his feet on the door. His hands were full of stones. He wanted a drink of water. All day long when he wasn't[Pg 137] sitting under the old Larch Tree with a pencil in his mouth he was carrying stones! And kicking his feet on the door! And asking for a drink of water!
Carol arrived and kicked his feet against the door. His hands were loaded with stones. He wanted a glass of water. All day long, when he wasn't sitting under the old Larch Tree with a pencil in his mouth, he was carrying stones! And kicking his feet on the door! And asking for a drink of water!
"Whatever in the world," said my Mother, "are you doing with all those stones?"
"What's going on," my Mom said, "with all those stones you have?"
Carol nodded his head that I could tell.
Carol nodded his head, and I could see it.
"He's building something," I said. "Out behind the barn!—I don't know what it is!"
"He's building something," I said. "Out behind the barn!—I have no idea what it is!"
Carol dropped his stones. He took a piece of chalk. He knelt down on the kitchen floor. He wrote big white letters on the floor.
Carol dropped his stones. He picked up a piece of chalk. He knelt down on the kitchen floor. He wrote large white letters on the floor.
"It's an Ar—Rena," is what he wrote.
"It's an Ar—Rena," he texted.
"An Arena?" said my Mother. "An Arena?" She looked quite sorry. "Oh Laddie!" she said. "I did so want you to win a prize!—Couldn't you have kept your mind on it just a day or two longer?"
"An Arena?" my mom said. "An Arena?" She looked really disappointed. "Oh Laddie!" she said. "I wanted you to win a prize so badly!—Couldn't you have focused on it just a day or two longer?"
It was the longest week I ever knew! It got longer every day! Thursday was twice as long as Wednesday! I don't seem to remember[Pg 138] about Friday! But Saturday came so early in the morning I wasn't even awake when my Mother called me!
It was the longest week I've ever experienced! It felt like it dragged on more each day! Thursday felt twice as long as Wednesday! I can't seem to remember[Pg 138] anything about Friday! But Saturday arrived so early in the morning that I wasn't even awake when my mom called me!
We went to the Blinded Lady's house right after dinner. We couldn't wait any longer.
We went to the Blinded Lady's house right after dinner. We couldn't wait any longer.
The Blinded Lady pretended she was surprised to see us.
The Blinded Lady acted surprised to see us.
"Mercy me!" she said. "What? Have these children come again? Muddy feet? Chatter? And all?" She thumped her cane! She rocked her chair! She billowed her skirts!
"Goodness!" she exclaimed. "What? Are these kids back again? Muddy feet? Chit-chat? And everything else?" She slammed her cane! She swayed in her chair! She flared her skirts!
We weren't frightened a bit! We sat on the edge of our chairs and laughed! And laughed!
We weren’t scared at all! We sat on the edge of our chairs and laughed! And laughed!
There was a little white table spread with pink-frosted cookies! There were great crackly glasses of raspberry vinegar and ice! Old Mary had on a white apron!—That's why we laughed! We knew we were expected![Pg 139]
There was a small white table set with pink-frosted cookies! There were cool, bubbly glasses of raspberry vinegar and ice! Old Mary was wearing a white apron!—That's why we laughed! We knew we were expected![Pg 139]
My Father explained it to everybody.
My dad explained it to everyone.
"As long as Carol couldn't speak his piece," he said, "It didn't seem fair that any of the children should speak 'em! So the children have all written their pieces to read aloud and——"
"As long as Carol couldn't share his thoughts," he said, "It didn't feel right for any of the kids to express theirs! So the kids have all written their pieces to read out loud and——"
"But as long as Carol wasn't able to read his aloud," cried my Mother, "it didn't seem fair that any of 'em should read theirs aloud! So the children's father is going to read 'em. And——"
"But as long as Carol couldn't read his aloud," my Mother exclaimed, "it didn't seem right that any of them should read theirs aloud! So the children's father is going to read them. And——"
"Without giving any clue of course," said my Father, "as to which child wrote which. So that you won't be unduly influenced at all—in any way by—gold-colored hair, for instance or—freckles——"
"Without giving any hints, of course," my Dad said, "about which kid wrote which. So that you won’t be influenced in any way—by things like—blonde hair, for example or—freckles——"
"Or anything!" said my Mother.
"Or whatever!" said my Mother.
"U-m-m-m," said the Blinded Lady.
"U-m-m-m," said the Blind Lady.
"Understanding of course," said my Father, "that we ourselves have not seen the papers yet!"
"Of course, we understand," my dad said, "but just so you know, we haven't seen the documents yet!"
"Nor assisted in any way with the choice[Pg 140] of subject," said my Mother. "Nor with the treatment of it!"
"Nor did I help at all with the choice[Pg 140] of the subject," said my Mother. "Nor with how it was handled!"
"U-m-m," said the Blinded Lady.
"Um," said the Blinded Lady.
"I will now proceed to read," said my Father.
"I’m going to start reading now," said my Dad.
"So do," said the Blinded Lady.
"So do," said the Blind Lady.
My Father so did.
My dad did too.
He took a paper from his pocket. He cleared his throat. He put on his eye-glasses. He looked a little surprised.
He took a piece of paper from his pocket. He cleared his throat. He put on his glasses. He looked a bit surprised.
"The first one," he said, "seems to be about 'Ginger-bread'!"
"The first one," he said, "looks like it's about 'Gingerbread'!"
"Ginger-bread?" said the Blinded Lady.
"Gingerbread?" said the Blinded Lady.
"Ginger-bread!" said my Father.
"Gingerbread!" said my dad.
"Read it!" said the Blinded Lady.
"Read it!" said the Blinded Lady.
"I will!" said my Father.
"I will!" my dad said.
Ginger-bread is very handsome! It's so brown! And every time you eat a piece you have to have another! That shows its worth as well as its handsomeness! And besides you can smell it a long way off when you're coming home! Especially[Pg 141] when you're coming home from school! It has molasses in it too. And that's very instructive! As well as ginger! And other spices! The Geography is full of them! Molasses comes from New Orleans! Spices come from Asia! Except Jamaica Ginger comes from Drug Stores! There are eggs in ginger-bread too! And that's Natural History and very important! They have to be hen's eggs I think! I had some guineas once and they looked like chipmunks when they hatched. You can't make ginger-bread out of anything that looks like chipmunks! It takes three eggs to make ginger-bread! And one cupful of sugar! And some baking soda! And——
Gingerbread is really nice! It's so brown! And every time you eat a piece, you just want another! That shows how good it is as well as how nice it looks! Plus, you can smell it from far away when you're coming home! Especially[Pg 141] when you're coming home from school! It has molasses in it too. And that's very informative! It also has ginger! And other spices! Geography is full of them! Molasses comes from New Orleans! Spices come from Asia! Except for Jamaica Ginger, that comes from drugstores! There are eggs in gingerbread too! And that's part of Natural History and really important! They have to be hen's eggs, I think! I once had some guinea fowl and they looked like chipmunks when they hatched. You can't make gingerbread out of anything that looks like chipmunks! It takes three eggs to make gingerbread! And one cup of sugar! And some baking soda! And——
"Oh Tush!" said the Blinded Lady. "That isn't a picture! It's a recipe!—Read another!"
"Oh, come on!" said the Blinded Lady. "That’s not a picture! It’s a recipe!—Read another one!"
"Dear me! Dear me!" said my Mother. "Now some child is suffering!" She looked all around to see which child it was.
"Goodness! Goodness!" my Mother said. "Now some child is in pain!" She looked around to see which child it was.
Carol kicked Rosalee. Rosalee kicked me.[Pg 142] I kicked Carol. We all looked just as queer as we could outside.
Carol kicked Rosalee. Rosalee kicked me.[Pg 142] I kicked Carol. We all looked as strange as we could outside.
"Read on!" thumped the Blinded Lady.
"Read on!" thumped the Blinded Lady.
My Father read on.
My dad kept reading.
"This next one," he said, "seems to be about Soldiers!"
"This next one," he said, "looks like it's about Soldiers!"
"Soldiers?" said the Blinded Lady. "Soldiers?" She sat up very straight. She cocked her head on one side. "Read it!" she said.
"Soldiers?" said the Blinded Lady. "Soldiers?" She sat up very straight. She tilted her head to the side. "Read it!" she said.
"I'm reading it!" said my Father.
"I'm reading it!" said my dad.
The most scrumptious sight I've ever seen in my life is Soldiers Marching! I saw them once in New York! It was glorious! All the reds and the blues and the browns of the Uniforms! And when the Band played all the different instruments it seemed as though it was really gold and silver music they were playing! It makes you feel so brave! And so unselfish! But most of all it makes you wish you were a milk-white pony with diamond hoofs! So that you could sparkle! And prance![Pg 143] And rear! And run away just for fun! And run and run and run down clattery streets and through black woods and across green pastures snorting fire—till you met more Soldiers and more Bands and more Gold and Silver Music! So that you could prance and sparkle and rear and run away all over again,—with flags flying!
The most amazing sight I've ever seen in my life is Soldiers Marching! I saw them once in New York! It was glorious! All the reds, blues, and browns of the uniforms! And when the band played all the different instruments, it felt like they were really playing gold and silver music! It makes you feel so brave! And so unselfish! But most of all, it makes you wish you were a milk-white pony with diamond hooves! So that you could sparkle! And prance![Pg 143] And rear! And run away just for fun! And run and run and run down noisy streets and through dark woods and across green fields snorting fire—until you met more soldiers and more bands and more gold and silver music! So that you could prance and sparkle and rear and run away all over again,—with flags flying!
"U-m-m," said the Blinded Lady. "That is pretty! And spirited too!—But—But it doesn't exactly warm the heart.—And no one but a boy, anyway, would want to think about soldiers every day.—Read the next one!" said the Blinded Lady.
"U-m-m," said the Blinded Lady. "That is beautiful! And lively too!—But—But it doesn't really warm the heart.—And honestly, no one but a boy would want to think about soldiers every day.—Read the next one!" said the Blinded Lady.
"Oh all right," said my Father. "Here's the last one."
"Oh fine," my dad said. "Here's the last one."
"Read it!" said the Blinded Lady.
"Read it!" said the Blind Lady.
"I'm trying to!" said my Father. He cleared his throat and put on his eye-glasses all over again. "Ahem!" he said.
"I'm trying to!" said my dad. He cleared his throat and put his glasses back on. "Ahem!" he said.
"The most beautifulest thing I've ever seen in all my life is my Mother's face. It's so——"
"The most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my entire life is my mother's face. It's so——"
"What?" cried my Mother.
"What?" cried my mom.
My Father looked at her across the top of his glasses. He smiled. "Your face!" he said.
My dad looked at her over his glasses. He smiled. "Your face!" he said.
"W—what?" stammered my Mother.
"W—what?" my mom stammered.
My Father cleared his throat and began all over again.
My father cleared his throat and started again from the beginning.
The most beautifulest thing I've ever seen in all my life is my Mother's face! It's so pleasant! It tries to make everything so pleasant! When you go away it smiles you away! When you come home it smiles you home! When you're sick it smiles you well! When you're bad it smiles you good! It's so pretty too! It has soft hair all full of little curls! It has brown eyes! It has the sweetest ears!—It has a little hat! The jolliest little hat! All trimmed with do-dabs! And teeny pink[Pg 145] roses! And there's a silver ribbon on it! And——
The most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life is my mom's face! It's so lovely! It makes everything feel nice! When you leave, it sends you off with a smile! When you come home, it welcomes you with a smile! When you're sick, it smiles you back to health! When you're acting up, it encourages you to be good! It's so pretty too! It has soft hair full of little curls! It has brown eyes! It has the sweetest ears!—It has a cute little hat! The happiest little hat! All decorated with frills! And tiny pink[Pg 145] roses! And there's a silver ribbon on it! And——
"My Mother had a hat like that!" cried the Blinded Lady.
"My mom had a hat like that!" cried the Blinded Lady.
"Did she?" said my Mother. Her face still looked pretty queer and surprised.
"Did she?" my mom said. Her face still looked pretty odd and surprised.
The Blinded Lady perked way forward in her chair. She seemed all out of breath. She talked so fast it almost choked her!
The Blinded Lady leaned forward in her chair. She looked completely out of breath. She spoke so quickly it was almost like she was choking!
"Yes! Just exactly like that!" cried the Blinded Lady. "My Mother bought it in Boston! It cost three dollars! My Father thought it was an awful price!—She wore it with a lavender dress all sprigged with yellow leaves! She looked like an angel in it! She was an angel! Her hair was brown too!—I haven't thought of it for ages!—And all full of little curls! She had the kindest smile! The minister said it was worth any two of his sermons! And when folks were sick she went anywhere to help them! Anywhere!—She[Pg 146] went twenty miles once! We drove the old white horse! I can see it all! My brothers' and sisters' faces at the window waving good-bye! My father cautioning us through his long gray beard not to drive too fast!—The dark shady wood's road! The little bright meadows!—A blue bird that flashed across our heads at the watering trough! The gay village streets! A red plaid ribbon in a shop window! The patch on a peddler's shoe! The great hills over beyond!—There was hills all around us!—My sister Amy married a man from way over beyond! He was different from us! His father sailed the seas! He brought us dishes and fans from China! When my sister Amy was married she wore a white crêpe shawl. There was a peacock embroidered in one corner of it! It was pretty! We curled her hair! There were yellow roses in bloom! There was a blue larkspur!—--"[Pg 147]
"Yes! Just exactly like that!" shouted the Blinded Lady. "My mom bought it in Boston! It cost three dollars! My dad thought that was way too expensive!—She wore it with a lavender dress covered in yellow leaves! She looked like an angel in it! She was an angel! Her hair was brown too!—I haven't thought about it in ages!—And it was all full of little curls! She had the kindest smile! The minister said it was worth any two of his sermons! And when people were sick, she went anywhere to help them! Anywhere!—She[Pg 146] went twenty miles once! We drove the old white horse! I can picture it all! My brothers' and sisters' faces at the window waving goodbye! My dad warning us through his long gray beard not to drive too fast!—The dark shady wood's road! The little bright meadows!—A bluebird that zipped across our heads at the watering trough! The cheerful village streets! A red plaid ribbon in a shop window! The patch on a peddler's shoe! The big hills beyond!—There were hills all around us!—My sister Amy married a guy from way over there! He was different from us! His dad sailed the seas! He brought us dishes and fans from China! When my sister Amy got married, she wore a white crêpe shawl. There was a peacock embroidered in one corner of it! It was lovely! We curled her hair! There were yellow roses in bloom! There was a blue larkspur!—-"[Pg 147]
The Blinded Lady sank back in her chair. She gave a funny little gasp.
The Blinded Lady leaned back in her chair. She let out a surprised little gasp.
"I remember!" she gasped. "The Young Man's eyes were blue! His teeth were like pearls! When he asked the way to the trout brook he laughed and said——"
"I remember!" she gasped. "The Young Man's eyes were blue! His teeth were like pearls! When he asked for directions to the trout brook, he laughed and said——"
The Blinded Lady's cheeks got all pink. She clapped her hands. She sank back into her Skirts. Her eyes looked awful queer.
The Blinded Lady's cheeks turned bright pink. She clapped her hands. She sank back into her skirts. Her eyes looked really strange.
"I see everything!" she cried. "Everything!—Give the Peacock Feather Fan to the Magician!"
"I see everything!" she shouted. "Everything!—Hand the Peacock Feather Fan to the Magician!"
Rosalee looked at Carol. Carol looked at me. I looked at Rosalee.
Rosalee glanced at Carol. Carol glanced at me. I glanced at Rosalee.
"To the Magician?" said my Father.
"To the Magician?" my dad said.
"To the Magician?" said my Mother.
"To the Magician?" my mom asked.
"To the Young Darling who wrote about her Mother's Face!" thumped the Blinded Lady.
"To the young sweetheart who wrote about her mother's face!" thumped the Blinded Lady.
My Father twisted his mouth.
My dad made a grimace.
"Will the 'Young Darling' who wrote about her Mother's Face please come forward—and[Pg 148] get the Peacock Feather Fan!" said my Father.
"Will the 'Young Darling' who wrote about her Mother's Face please come forward—and[Pg 148] get the Peacock Feather Fan!" said my Father.
Carol came forward. He looked very ashamed. He stubbed his toe on the braided rug.
Carol stepped up. He looked really embarrassed. He stubbed his toe on the braided rug.
"It seems to be our son Carol," said my Father, "who conjured up the picture of—of the blue larkspur!"
"It looks like our son Carol," said my father, "who imagined the picture of—the blue larkspur!"
"What?" said the Blinded Lady. "What?"
"What?" said the Blinded Lady. "What?"
She tapped her foot on the floor. She frowned her brows. "Well—well—well," she said. "It wasn't at all what I intended! Not at all!—Well—well—well!" She began to rock her chair. "But after all," she said, "an agreement is an agreement! And the First Prize is the First Prize!—Let the Little Dumb Boy step forward to the Chinese Cabinet and choose his Peacock Feather Fan!"
She tapped her foot on the floor and frowned. "Well—well—well," she said. "It wasn't at all what I intended! Not at all!—Well—well—well!" She started to rock in her chair. "But after all," she said, "an agreement is an agreement! And the First Prize is the First Prize!—Let the Little Dumb Boy step forward to the Chinese Cabinet and choose his Peacock Feather Fan!"
Rosalee gave a little cry. It sounded almost like tears. She ran forward. She whispered in Carol's ear.[Pg 149]
Rosalee let out a small cry. It almost sounded like she was about to cry. She hurried forward and whispered in Carol's ear.[Pg 149]
Carol opened his eyes. He took a chair. He pushed it against the cabinet. He climbed up to the highest shelf. There was a fan as big as the moon! It was sandalwood! It was carved! It was all peacock feathers! Blue! Bronze! It was beautiful! He took it! He went back to his seat! His mouth smiled a little! But he carried the Fan as though it was hot!
Carol opened his eyes. He grabbed a chair and pushed it against the cabinet. He climbed up to the highest shelf. There was a fan as big as the moon! It was made of sandalwood! It was intricately carved! It was adorned with peacock feathers in blue and bronze! It was beautiful! He took it and went back to his seat! A slight smile crossed his lips! But he held the fan as if it were hot!
"The second prize of course," said the Blinded Lady, "goes to the child who wrote about the soldiers!"
"The second prize, of course," said the Blinded Lady, "goes to the kid who wrote about the soldiers!"
Rosalee stepped forward.
Rosalee moved forward.
The Blinded Lady took her hand. "It is not exactly as I had wished," said the Blinded Lady. "But a Choice of Cats is a Choice of Cats!—You will find them all in the wood-shed Young Lassie—awaiting your decision! Choose wisely! A good cat is a great comfort!"
The Blinded Lady took her hand. "It’s not exactly how I hoped," said the Blinded Lady. "But a Choice of Cats is still a Choice of Cats!—You’ll find them all in the wood-shed, Young Lassie—waiting for your decision! Choose wisely! A good cat is a great comfort!"
We went to the wood-shed to help Rosalee choose her cat.[Pg 150]
We went to the woodshed to help Rosalee pick her cat.[Pg 150]
All the cats purred to be chosen. It was sad. My Father said it wasn't. My Father said one cat was plenty.
All the cats purred to get picked. It was heartbreaking. My dad said it wasn't a big deal. My dad said one cat was more than enough.
The White Persian Kitten lay on a soap box. It looked like Easter Lilies. Rosalee saw it. She forgot all about the fan.
The white Persian kitten was lying on a soapbox. It looked like Easter lilies. Rosalee saw it. She completely forgot about the fan.
Carol didn't forget about the fan. He stamped his foot. He shook his head. He took Rosalee's hand and led her to the old Tortoise Shell Cat. He put the old Tortoise Shell cat in Rosalee's arms. Rosalee looked pretty surprised. So did the cat.
Carol didn't forget about the fan. He stomped his foot. He shook his head. He took Rosalee's hand and led her to the old Tortoise Shell Cat. He handed the old Tortoise Shell cat to Rosalee. Rosalee looked pretty surprised. So did the cat.
My sorrow made tears in my eyes. My Mother came running.
My sadness brought tears to my eyes. My mom came running.
"Bless your heart, Ruthy-Girl," she said. "You shall have a Ginger-bread to-night that is a Picture!" She put a little box in my hand. There was a little gold pencil in the box. It was my Mother's best little gold pencil with the agate stone in the end. "Here's Mother's prize, Darling," she said. "The Prize Mother brought for whichever[Pg 151] child didn't win the Blinded Lady's prizes! Don't you worry! Mother'll always have a prize for whichever child doesn't win the other prizes!"
"Bless your heart, Ruthy-Girl," she said. "You’re going to have a gingerbread tonight that is a masterpiece!" She placed a small box in my hand. Inside was a little gold pencil. It was my mother's special little gold pencil with the agate stone at the end. "Here’s Mother’s prize, sweetheart," she said. "The prize Mother brought for whichever[Pg 151] child didn’t win the Blinded Lady’s prizes! Don’t worry! Mother will always have a prize for whichever child doesn’t win the other prizes!"
My sorrow went away.
My sadness disappeared.
We all ran back to the Blinded Lady to thank her for our Beautiful Party. And for the prizes.
We all ran back to the Blinded Lady to thank her for our amazing party. And for the prizes.
My Father made a speech to the Blinded Lady.
My father gave a speech to the blinded lady.
"But after all, my dear Madam," he said, "I am afraid you have been cheated!—It was 'new' pictures that you wanted, not old ones!"
"But after all, my dear Madam," he said, "I'm afraid you've been cheated!—It was 'new' pictures you were looking for, not old ones!"
The Blinded Lady whacked at him with her cane. She was awful mad.
The Blinded Lady swung her cane at him. She was really angry.
"How do you know what I want?" she said. "How do you know what I want?"
"How do you know what I want?" she asked. "How do you know what I want?"
My Father and my Mother looked at each other. They made little laughs with their eyes.
My dad and my mom looked at each other. They shared small laughs with their eyes.
"But I certainly am flabbergasted," she said, "about the Old Tom Cat! Whatever in the world made the Young Lassie choose the old battle-scarred Tom?"
"But I definitely can’t believe it," she said, "about the Old Tom Cat! What on earth made the Young Lassie choose the old battle-scarred Tom?"
Rosalee looked at Carol. Carol looked at me. I looked at the Old Tom.
Rosalee glanced at Carol. Carol glanced at me. I looked at Old Tom.
"Maybe she chose him for—for his historicalness," said my Mother.
"Maybe she chose him for—his historical significance," said my Mother.
"——Maybe," said my Father.
"——Maybe," said my dad.
We started for the door. We got as far as the Garden. I remembered something suddenly. I clapped my hands. I laughed right out! "No! She didn't either!" I said. "She chose him for Carol's Ar—Rena—I bet'cher! Carol's going to have him for a Cham—peen! We'll fight him every afternoon! Maybe there'll be tickets!"
We headed for the door and made it to the Garden. Suddenly, I remembered something. I clapped my hands and burst out laughing! "No way! She didn't either!" I said. "She picked him for Carol's Ar—Rena—I bet! Carol's going to have him for a Champ—ion! We'll challenge him every afternoon! Maybe there will be tickets!"
"Tickets?" said my Father.
"Tickets?" my dad asked.
"Oh my dears," said my Mother. "A cat-fight is a dreadful thing!"
"Oh my dears," said my Mom. "A cat fight is a terrible thing!"
My Father looked at the Old Tom! At his battered ears! At his scarred nose! At[Pg 153] his twisted eye! The Old Tom looked at my Father! They both smiled!
My dad looked at Old Tom! At his worn-out ears! At his scarred nose! At[Pg 153] his crooked eye! Old Tom looked at my dad! They both smiled!
"Infamous!" said my Father. "How much will the tickets be?"
"Infamous!" my dad said. "How much are the tickets?"
We went home. We went home through the fields instead of through the village.
We went home. We took the path through the fields instead of going through the village.
Carol held the Peacock Feather Fan as though he was afraid it would bite him.
Carol held the Peacock Feather Fan as if he was afraid it would sting him.
Rosalee carried the Old Tom as though she knew it would bite her.
Rosalee carried the Old Tom as if she knew it would bite her.
When we got to the Willow Tree they changed prizes. It made a difference.
When we arrived at the Willow Tree, they switched prizes. It changed things.
Rosalee carried the Peacock Feather as though it was a magic sail. She tipped it to the breeze. She pranced it. And danced it. It looked fluffy.
Rosalee carried the Peacock Feather as if it were a magic sail. She angled it into the breeze. She pranced with it. And danced with it. It looked fluffy.
Carol carried the Old Tom hugged tight to his breast. The Old Tom looked very historical. Carol looked very shining and pure. He looked like a choir-boy carrying his singing book. He looked as though his voice would be very high.[Pg 154]
Carol held the Old Tom close to his chest. The Old Tom looked very antique. Carol appeared bright and innocent. He resembled a choir boy carrying his songbook. He seemed like he would have a very high-pitched voice.[Pg 154]
My Father and Mother carried each other's hands. They laughed very softly to themselves as though they knew pleasant things that no one else knew.
My dad and mom held each other's hands. They laughed quietly to themselves as if they were in on some nice secrets that nobody else knew.
My hand would have felt pretty lonely if I hadn't had the little gold pencil to carry.
My hand would have felt pretty lonely if I hadn't had the little gold pencil to hold.
I felt pretty tired. I walked pretty far behind.
I felt pretty exhausted. I walked quite a distance behind.
I decided that when I grew up I'd be a Writer! So that no matter what happened I'd always have a gold pencil in my hand and couldn't be lonely!
I decided that when I grew up, I would be a Writer! That way, no matter what happened, I would always have a gold pencil in my hand and couldn't be lonely!
THE GIFT OF THE PROBABLE PLACES
THE GIFT OF THE PROBABLE PLACES
My Mother says that everybody in the world has got some special Gift. Some people have one kind and some have another.
My mom says that everyone in the world has a special gift. Some people have one type, and some have another.
I got my skates and dictionary-book last Spring when I was nine. I've always had my freckles.
I got my skates and dictionary last spring when I was nine. I've always had my freckles.
My brother Carol's Gift is Being Dumb. No matter what anybody says to him he doesn't have to answer 'em.
My brother Carol's Gift is Being Dumb. No matter what anyone says to him, he doesn't have to respond.
There was an old man in our town named Old Man Smith.
There was an old man in our town named Old Man Smith.
Old Man Smith had a wonderful Gift.
Old Man Smith had an amazing talent.
It wasn't a Christmas Gift like toys and games. It wasn't a Birthday Gift all stockings and handkerchiefs.
It wasn't a Christmas gift like toys and games. It wasn't a birthday gift full of stockings and handkerchiefs.
It was the Gift of Finding Things!
It was the Gift of Finding Things!
He called it "The Gift of the Probable Places."[Pg 158]
He named it "The Gift of the Likely Places."[Pg 158]
Most any time when you lost anything he could find it for you. He didn't find it by floating a few tea-leaves in a cup. Or by trying to match cards. Or by fooling with silly things like ghosts. He didn't even find it with his legs. He found it with his head. He found it by thinking very hard with his head.
Most of the time when you lost something, he could find it for you. He didn't find it by floating a few tea leaves in a cup. Or by trying to match cards. Or by messing with silly stuff like ghosts. He didn't even find it by using his legs. He found it with his mind. He found it by thinking really hard with his mind.
People came from miles around to borrow his head. He always charged everybody just the same no matter what it was that they'd lost. One dollar was what he charged. It was just as much trouble to him he said to think about a thimble that was lost as it was to think about an elephant that was lost.—I never knew anybody who lost an elephant.
People traveled from far and wide to borrow his head. He always charged everyone the same, no matter what they had lost. It was a dollar for his services. He said it was just as much trouble for him to think about a thimble that was lost as it was to think about a lost elephant. —I’ve never known anyone who lost an elephant.
When the Post Master's Wife lost her diamond ring she hunted more than a hundred places for it! She was most distracted! She thought somebody had stolen it from her! She hunted it in all the Newspapers! She hunted it in all the stores! She hunted[Pg 159] it all up and down the Village streets! She hunted it in the Depot carriage! She hunted it in the Hired Girl's trunk! Miles and miles and miles she must have hunted it with her hands and with her feet!
When the Post Master's wife lost her diamond ring, she searched over a hundred places for it! She was extremely upset! She thought someone had stolen it from her! She looked for it in all the newspapers! She searched in all the stores! She searched[Pg 159] up and down the village streets! She looked in the depot carriage! She searched in the hired girl’s trunk! She must have searched miles and miles and miles with her hands and feet!
But Old Man Smith found it for her without budging an inch from his wheel-chair! Just with his head alone he found it! Just by asking her a question that made her mad he found it! The question that made her mad was about her Baptismal name.—Her Baptismal name was Mehetabelle Euphemia.
But Old Man Smith found it for her without moving an inch from his wheelchair! He just used his head to find it! He only needed to ask her a question that ticked her off, and he found it! The question that made her mad was about her baptismal name.—Her baptismal name was Mehetabelle Euphemia.
"However in the world," said Old Man Smith, "did you get such a perfectly hideous name as Mehetabelle Euphemia?"
"However in the world," said Old Man Smith, "how did you end up with such a ridiculously awful name as Mehetabelle Euphemia?"
The Post Master's wife was madder than Scat! She wrung her hands. She snapped her thumbs! She crackled her finger-joints!
The Post Master's wife was angrier than ever! She wrung her hands. She snapped her fingers! She popped her knuckles!
"Never—Never," she said had she been "so insulted!"
"Never—Never," she said, "have I been so insulted!"
"U-m-m-m—exactly what I thought," said Old Man Smith. "Now just when—if you[Pg 160] can remember, was the last time that you felt you'd never been so insulted before?"
"U-m-m-m—just what I was thinking," said Old Man Smith. "Now, if you can remember, when was the last time you felt so insulted?"
"Insulted?" screamed the Post Master's Wife. "Why, I haven't been so insulted as this since two weeks ago last Saturday when I was out in my back yard under the Mulberry Tree dyeing my old white dress peach-pink! And the Druggist's Wife came along and asked me if I didn't think I was just a little bit too old to be wearing peach-pink?—Me—Too Old? Me?" screamed the Post Master's Wife.
"Insulted?" shouted the Post Master's Wife. "I haven't been this insulted since two weeks ago last Saturday when I was in my backyard under the Mulberry Tree dyeing my old white dress peach-pink! And the Druggist's Wife walked by and asked me if I didn't think I was just a little too old to be wearing peach-pink?—Me—Too old? Me?" yelled the Post Master's Wife.
"U-m-m," said Old Man Smith. "Pink, you say? Pink?—A little powdered Cochineal, I suppose? And a bit of Cream o' Tartar? And more than a bit of Alum? It's a pretty likely combination to make the fingers slippery.—And a lady what crackles her finger-joints so every time she's mad,—and snaps her thumbs—and?—Yes! Under the Mulberry Tree is a very Probable Place!—One dollar, please!" said Old Man Smith.[Pg 161]
"U-m-m," said Old Man Smith. "Pink, you say? Pink?—A little bit of powdered Cochineal, I guess? And some Cream of Tartar? And quite a bit of Alum? That sounds like a great combo to make the fingers slippery.—And a lady who cracks her knuckles every time she's mad,—and snaps her thumbs—and?—Yes! Under the Mulberry Tree is a very Likely Place!—One dollar, please!" said Old Man Smith.[Pg 161]
And when the Grocer's Nephew got suspended from college for sitting up too late at night and getting headaches, and came to spend a month with his Uncle and couldn't find his green plaid overcoat when it was time to go home he was perfectly positive that somebody had borrowed it from the store! Or that he'd dropped it out of the delivery wagon working over-time! Or that he'd left it at the High School Social!
And when the Grocer's Nephew got kicked out of college for staying up too late at night and getting headaches, and came to spend a month with his Uncle but couldn't find his green plaid overcoat when it was time to go home, he was totally convinced that someone had borrowed it from the store! Or that he’d dropped it out of the delivery truck while working extra hours! Or that he’d left it at the High School dance!
But Old Man Smith found it for him just by glancing at his purple socks! And his plaid necktie. And his plush waistcoat.
But Old Man Smith spotted it just by looking at his purple socks! And his plaid tie. And his soft waistcoat.
"Oh, yes, of course, it's perfectly possible," said Old Man Smith, "that you dropped it from the basket of a balloon on your way to a Missionary Meeting.—But have you looked in the Young Widow Gayette's back hall? 'Bout three pegs from the door?—Where the shadows are fairly private?—One dollar, please!" said Old Man Smith.
"Oh, yes, definitely possible," said Old Man Smith, "that you dropped it from the basket of a balloon on your way to a missionary meeting.—But have you checked in Young Widow Gayette's back hall? About three pegs from the door?—Where the shadows are pretty private?—One dollar, please!" said Old Man Smith.
And when the Old Preacher lost the Hymn[Pg 162] Book that George Washington had given his grandfather, everybody started to take up the floor of the church to see if it had fallen down through a crack in the pulpit!
And when the Old Preacher lost the Hymn[Pg 162] Book that George Washington had given to his grandfather, everyone began to pull up the floorboards of the church to check if it had slipped through a crack in the pulpit!
But Old Man Smith sent a boy running to beg 'em not to tear down the church till they'd looked in the Old Lawyer's pantry,—'bout the second shelf between the ice chest and the cheese crock. Sunday evening after meeting was rather a lean time with Old Preachers he said he'd always noticed.—And Old Lawyers was noted for their fat larders.—And there were certain things about cheese somehow that seemed to be soothin' to the memory.
But Old Man Smith sent a kid to ask them not to tear down the church until they checked the Old Lawyer's pantry—about the second shelf between the fridge and the cheese container. He said Sunday evenings after service were usually pretty sparse for Old Preachers. And Old Lawyers were known for having well-stocked kitchens. Plus, there was something about cheese that seemed to comfort the memory.
"Why, how perfectly extraordinary!" said everybody.
"Wow, that's absolutely amazing!" everyone said.
"One dollar, please!" said Old Man Smith again.
"One dollar, please!" Old Man Smith said again.
And when Little Tommy Bent ran away to the city his Mother hunted all the hospitals for him! And made 'em drag the river![Pg 163] And wore a long black veil all the time! And howled!
And when Little Tommy Bent ran away to the city, his mom searched all the hospitals for him! And had them search the river![Pg 163] And she wore a long black veil all the time! And cried!
But Old Man Smith said, "Oh Shucks! It ain't at all probable, is it, that he was aimin' at hospitals or rivers when he went away?—What's the use of worryin' over the things he weren't aimin' at till you've investigated the things he was?"
But Old Man Smith said, "Oh shucks! It's not very likely, is it, that he was headed for hospitals or rivers when he left?—What's the point of worrying about the things he wasn't aiming at until you've looked into the things he was?"
"Aimin' at?" sobbed Mrs. Bent. "Aimin' at?—Who in the world could ever tell what any little boy was aimin' at?"
"Aiming at?" sobbed Mrs. Bent. "Aiming at?—Who in the world could ever figure out what any little boy was aiming at?"
"And there's something in that, too!" said Old Man Smith. "What did he look like?"
"And there's something to that, too!" said Old Man Smith. "What did he look like?"
"Like his father," said Mrs. Bent.
"Just like his dad," Mrs. Bent said.
"U-m-m. Plain, you mean?" said Old Man Smith.
"U-m-m. You mean plain?" said Old Man Smith.
"He was only nine years old," sobbed Mrs. Bent. "But he did love Meetings so! No matter what they was about he was always hunting for some new Meetings to go to! He just seemed naturally to dote hisself on any crowd of people that was all facing the[Pg 164] other way looking at somebody else! He had a little cowlick at the back of his neck!" sobbed Mrs. Bent. "It was a comical little cowlick! People used to laugh at it! He never liked to sit any place where there was anybody sitting behind him!"
"He was only nine years old," cried Mrs. Bent. "But he loved Meetings so much! No matter what they were about, he was always looking for new Meetings to attend! He just naturally adored any crowd of people that was all facing the[Pg 164] other way, looking at someone else! He had a little cowlick at the back of his neck!" cried Mrs. Bent. "It was such a funny little cowlick! People used to laugh at it! He never liked to sit anywhere where there was anyone behind him!"
"Now you're talking!" said Old Man Smith. "Will he answer to the name of 'Little Tommy Bent?'"
"Now you're talking!" said Old Man Smith. "Will he go by the name 'Little Tommy Bent?'"
"He will not!" said Mrs. Bent "He's that stubborn! He's exactly like his Father!"
"He won't!" said Mrs. Bent. "He's so stubborn! He's just like his dad!"
Old Man Smith wrote an entirely new advertisement to put in the papers. It didn't say anything about Rivers! Or Hospitals! Or 'Dead or Alive!' It just said:
Old Man Smith wrote a completely new ad to run in the newspapers. It didn’t mention Rivers! Or Hospitals! Or ‘Dead or Alive!’ It simply said:
a very simple little boy. will not
goes by the name "Little Tommy
Bent. Stubborn, like his dad.
"We'll put that in about being 'stubborn,'" said Old Man Smith, "because it sounds quaint and will interest people."[Pg 165]
"We'll include that about being 'stubborn,'" said Old Man Smith, "because it sounds charming and will grab people's attention."[Pg 165]
"It won't interest Mr. Bent!" sobbed Mrs. Bent. "And it seems awful cruel to make it so public about the child's being plain!"
"It won't matter to Mr. Bent!" cried Mrs. Bent. "And it feels really cruel to make it so public about the child's looks!"
Old Man Smith spoke coldly to her.
Old Man Smith spoke to her in a harsh tone.
"Would you rather lose him—handsome," he said. "Or find him—plain?"
"Would you rather lose him—good-looking," he said. "Or find him—ordinary?"
Mrs. Bent seemed to think that she'd rather find him plain.
Mrs. Bent seemed to think that she'd prefer to see him as ordinary.
She found him within two days! He was awful plain. His shoes were all worn out. And his stomach was flat. He was at a meeting of men who sell bicycles to China. The men were feeling pretty sick. They'd sent hundreds and hundreds of he-bicycles to China and the Chinamen couldn't ride 'em on account of their skirts!—It was the smell of an apple in a man's pocket that made Tommy Bent follow the man to the meeting.—And he answered to every name except 'Tommy Bent' so they knew it was he!
She found him in just two days! He was really plain. His shoes were completely worn out. And his stomach was flat. He was at a meeting with guys who sell bicycles to China. The men were feeling pretty frustrated. They had sent hundreds of male bicycles to China, but the Chinese men couldn't ride them because of their skirts!—It was the smell of an apple in a guy's pocket that made Tommy Bent follow him to the meeting.—And he responded to every name except 'Tommy Bent,' so they knew it was him!
"Mercy! What this experience has cost me!" sobbed Mrs. Bent.[Pg 166]
"Wow! This experience has really taken a toll on me!" sobbed Mrs. Bent.[Pg 166]
"One dollar, please!" said Old Man Smith.
"One dollar, please!" said Old Man Smith.
"It's a perfect miracle!" said everybody.
"It's a perfect miracle!" everyone exclaimed.
"It 'tain't neither!" said Old Man Smith. "It's plain Hoss Sense! There's laws about findin' things same as there is about losin' 'em! Things has got regular habits and haunts same as Folks! And Folks has got regular haunts and habits same as birds and beasts! It ain't the Possible Places that I'm arguin' about!—The world is full of 'em! But the Probable Places can be reckoned most any time on the fingers of one hand!—That's the trouble with folks! They're always wearin' themselves out on the Possible Places and never gettin' round at all to the Probable ones!—Now, it's perfectly possible, of course," said Old Man Smith, "that you might find a trout in a dust-pan or a hummin' bird in an Aquarium—or meet a panther in your Mother's parlor!—But the chances are," said Old Man Smith, "that if you really set out to organize a troutin' expedition[Pg 167] or a hummin' bird collection or a panther hunt—you wouldn't look in the dust pan or the Aquarium or your Mother's parlor first!—When you lose something that ain't got no Probable Place—then I sure am stumped!" said Old Man Smith.
"It isn't either!" said Old Man Smith. "It's just common sense! There are rules about finding things just like there are about losing them! Things have their own habits and places just like people do! And people have their own spots and routines just like birds and animals! I'm not arguing about the Possible Places!—The world is full of them! But the Probable Places can usually be counted on one hand!—That's the issue with people! They always wear themselves out searching the Possible Places and never get around to the Probable ones!—Now, it's totally possible, of course," said Old Man Smith, "that you might find a trout in a dustpan or a hummingbird in an aquarium—or meet a panther in your mother's living room!—But the odds are," said Old Man Smith, "that if you actually planned a fishing trip[Pg 167] or a hummingbird collection or a panther hunt—you wouldn't look in the dustpan or the aquarium or your mother's living room first!—When you lose something that doesn't have a Probable Place—then I really am stumped!" said Old Man Smith.
But when Annie Halliway lost her mind, everybody in the village was stumped about it. And everything was all mixed up. It was Annie Halliway's mother and Annie Halliway's father and Annie Halliway's uncles and aunts and cousins and friends who did all the worrying about it! While Annie Halliway herself didn't seem to care at all! But just sat braiding things into her hair!
But when Annie Halliway lost her mind, everyone in the village was confused about it. Everything was chaotic. It was Annie Halliway's mom and dad, along with her uncles, aunts, cousins, and friends who worried about it! Meanwhile, Annie Halliway herself didn't seem to care at all! She just sat there braiding things into her hair!
Some people said it was a railroad accident that she lost her mind in. Some said it was because she'd studied too hard in Europe. Some said it was an earthquake. Everybody said something.
Some people said she lost her mind in a train accident. Some said it was because she had studied too hard in Europe. Some said it was an earthquake. Everyone had their theory.
Annie Halliway's father and mother were awful rich. They brought her home in a[Pg 168] great big ship! And gave her twelve new dresses and the front parlor and a brown piano! But she wouldn't stay in any of them! All she'd stay in was a little old blue silk dress she'd had before she went away!
Annie Halliway's parents were really wealthy. They brought her home on a[Pg 168] huge ship! And gave her twelve new dresses, a front parlor, and a brown piano! But she wouldn’t wear any of those! All she wanted to wear was an old blue silk dress she had before she left!
Carol and I got excused from school one day because we were afraid our heads might ache, and went to see what it was all about.
Carol and I got a day off from school because we were worried our heads might hurt, and we went to check out what was going on.
It seemed to be about a great many things.
It seemed to be about a lot of things.
But after we'd walked all around Annie Halliway twice and looked at her all we could and asked how old she was and found out that she was nineteen, we felt suddenly very glad about something.—We felt suddenly very glad that if she really was obliged to lose anything out of her face, it was her mind that she lost! Instead of her eyes! Or her nose! Or her red, red mouth! Or her cunning little ears! She was so pretty!
But after we had walked around Annie Halliway twice and looked at her as much as we could, and asked how old she was and found out she was nineteen, we suddenly felt really happy about something. We felt really happy that if she had to lose anything from her face, it was her mind that she lost! Not her eyes! Or her nose! Or her bright red mouth! Or her cute little ears! She was so pretty!
She seemed to like us very much too. She asked us to come again.
She seemed to really like us too. She invited us to come back again.
We said we would.[Pg 169]
We said we would.
We did.
We sure did.
We went every Saturday afternoon.
We went every Saturday.
They let us take her to walk if we were careful. We didn't walk her in the village because her hair looked so funny. We walked her in the pleasant fields. We gathered flowers. We gathered ferns. We explored birds. We built little gurgling harbors in the corners of the brook. Sometimes we climbed hills and looked off. Annie Halliway seemed to like to climb hills and look off.
They allowed us to take her for walks as long as we were careful. We didn’t walk her in the village because her hair looked so strange. We walked her in the lovely fields. We picked flowers. We collected ferns. We observed birds. We created little flowing pools in the corners of the brook. Sometimes we climbed hills and looked out. Annie Halliway seemed to enjoy climbing hills and looking out.
It was the day we climbed the Sumac Hill that we got our Idea!
It was the day we hiked up Sumac Hill that we got our idea!
It was a nice day!
It was a beautiful day!
Annie Halliway wore her blue dress! And her blue scarf! Her hair hung down like two long, loose black ropes across her shoulders! Blue Larkspur was braided into her hair! And a little tin trumpet tied with blue ribbon! And a blue Japanese fan! And a blue lead pencil! And a blue silk stocking![Pg 170] And a blue-handled basket! She looked like a Summer Christmas Tree. It was pretty.
Annie Halliway wore her blue dress! And her blue scarf! Her hair hung down like two long, loose black ropes across her shoulders! Blue Larkspur was braided into her hair! And a little tin trumpet tied with blue ribbon! And a blue Japanese fan! And a blue pencil! And a blue silk stocking![Pg 170] And a blue-handled basket! She looked like a summer Christmas tree. It was pretty.
There were lots of clouds in the sky. They seemed very near. It sort of puckered your nose.
There were a lot of clouds in the sky. They looked really close. It kind of made your nose scrunch up.
"Smell the clouds!" said Annie Halliway.
"Smell the clouds!" said Annie Halliway.
Somebody had cut down a tree that used to be there. It made a lonely hole in the edge of the hill and the sky. Through the lonely hole in the edge of the hill and the sky you could see miles and miles. Way down in the valley a bright light glinted. It was as though the whole sun was trying to bore a hole in a tiny bit of glass and couldn't do it.
Somebody had cut down a tree that used to stand there. It left a lonely opening on the edge of the hill and the sky. Through this lonely opening, you could see for miles. Far down in the valley, a bright light sparkled. It was as if the entire sun was trying to pierce a small piece of glass and couldn't manage it.
Annie Halliway stretched out her arms towards the glint. And started for it.
Annie Halliway stretched out her arms toward the shine and started for it.
I looked at Carol. Carol looked at me. We knew where the glint was. It was Old Man Smith's house. Old Man Smith's house was built of tea cups! And broken tumblers! And bits of plates! First of all,[Pg 171] of course, it was built of clay or mud or something soft and loose like that! And while it was still soft he had stuck it all full of people's broken dishes! So that wherever you went most all day long the sun was trying to bore a hole in it!—And couldn't do it!
I looked at Carol. Carol looked at me. We both knew where the glint was. It was Old Man Smith's house. Old Man Smith's house was made of tea cups! And broken glasses! And bits of plates! First of all,[Pg 171] of course, it was built from clay or mud or something soft and loose like that! And while it was still soft, he had stuck it full of people's broken dishes! So that wherever you went most of the day, the sun was trying to bore a hole in it!—And couldn't do it!
It seemed to be the glint that Annie Halliway wanted. She thought it was something new to braid in her hair, I guess. She kept right on walking towards it with her arms stretched out.
It looked like the sparkle that Annie Halliway was after. She thought it was something fresh to weave into her hair, I guess. She continued walking toward it with her arms wide open.
Carol kept right on looking at me. His mouth was all turned white. Sometimes when people talk to me I can't understand at all what they mean. But when Carol looks at me with his mouth all turned white, I always know just exactly what he means! It made my own mouth feel pretty white!
Carol kept staring at me. His mouth was completely white. Sometimes when people talk to me, I can't make sense of what they mean at all. But when Carol looks at me with his mouth all white, I always know exactly what he's trying to say! It made my own mouth feel pretty white too!
"We shall be punished!" I said. "We'll surely be punished if we do it!"
"We're going to get punished!" I said. "We're definitely going to get punished if we do this!"
My brother Carol smiled. It was quite a white smile. He put out his hand. I took[Pg 172] it. We ran down the hill after young Annie Halliway! And led her to the glint!
My brother Carol smiled. It was a really bright smile. He reached out his hand. I took[Pg 172] it. We ran down the hill after young Annie Halliway! And led her to the glint!
Old Man Smith was pretty surprised to see us. He was riding round the door-yard in his wheel chair. He rolled his chair to the gate to meet us. The chair squeaked a good deal. But even if he'd wanted to walk he couldn't. The reason why he couldn't is because he's dumb in his legs.
Old Man Smith was quite surprised to see us. He was moving around the yard in his wheelchair. He rolled his chair to the gate to greet us. The chair squeaked a lot. But even if he wanted to walk, he couldn't. The reason he couldn't is that he’s unable to use his legs.
"What in the world do you want?" he asked.
"What do you want?" he asked.
I looked at Carol. Carol looked at me. He kicked me in the shins. My thoughts came very quickly.
I looked at Carol. Carol looked at me. He kicked me in the shins. My thoughts raced through my mind.
"We've brought you a young lady that's lost her mind!" I said. "What can you do about it?"
"We've brought you a young woman who's gone crazy!" I said. "What can you do about it?"
Something happened all at once that made our legs feel queer. What happened was that Old Man Smith didn't seem pleased at all about it. He snatched his long white beard in his hands.[Pg 173]
Something happened suddenly that made our legs feel odd. What happened was that Old Man Smith didn’t seem happy about it at all. He grabbed his long white beard with his hands.[Pg 173]
"Lost her mind?" he said. "Her mind? Her mind? How dar'st you mock me?" he cried.
"Lost her mind?" he said. "Her mind? Her mind? How dare you mock me?" he shouted.
"We darsn't at all!" I explained. "On account of the bears! We've read all about the mocking bears in a book!"
"We daren't at all!" I explained. "Because of the bears! We've read all about the mocking bears in a book!"
He seemed to feel better.
He seemed to feel improved.
"You mean in the good book?" he said. "The Elijah bears, you mean?"
"You mean in the good book?" he asked. "The Elijah bears, right?"
"Well, it was quite a good book," I admitted. "Though my Father's got lots of books on Tulips that have heap prettier covers!"
"Well, it was definitely a good book," I admitted. "But my dad has a ton of books on tulips that have way prettier covers!"
"U—m—m—m," said Old Man Smith. "U—m—m—m——. U—m——m——m."
"U—m—m—m," said Old Man Smith. "U—m—m—m——. U—m——m——m."
And all the time that he was saying "U—m——m——m—U—m——m——m," young Annie Halliway was knocking down his house. With a big chunk of rock she was chipping it off. It was a piece of blue china cup with the handle still on it that she chipped off first.[Pg 174]
And all the while he was saying "U—m——m——m—U—m——m——m," young Annie Halliway was tearing down his house. With a large chunk of rock, she was breaking it apart. The first thing she broke off was a piece of a blue china cup with the handle still attached.[Pg 174]
When Old Man Smith saw it he screamed.
When Old Man Smith saw it, he screamed.
"Woman! What are you doing?" he screamed.
"Woman! What are you doing?" he yelled.
"Her name is Young Annie Halliway," I explained.
"Her name is Young Annie Halliway," I explained.
"Young Annie Halliway—Come Here!" screamed Old Man Smith.
"Young Annie Halliway—Come here!" yelled Old Man Smith.
Young Annie Halliway came here. She was perfectly gentle about it. All her ways were gentle. She sat down on the ground at Old Man Smith's feet. She lifted her eyes to Old Man Smith's eyes. She looked holy. But all the time that she looked so holy she kept right on braiding the handle of the blue china cup into her hair. It cranked against the tin trumpet. It sounded a little like the 4th of July.
Young Annie Halliway came here. She was really gentle about it. Everything she did was gentle. She sat down on the ground at Old Man Smith's feet. She lifted her eyes to Old Man Smith's eyes. She looked almost angelic. But while she looked so holy, she kept braiding the handle of the blue china cup into her hair. It cranked against the tin trumpet. It sounded a bit like the 4th of July.
Old Man Smith reached down and took her chin in his hands.
Old Man Smith bent down and gently held her chin in his hands.
"Oh my Lord—what a beautiful face!" he said. "What a beautiful face!—And you say she's lost her mind?" he said. "You say[Pg 175] she's lost her mind?" He turned to Carol. "And what do you say?" he asked.
"Oh my God—what a gorgeous face!" he said. "What a gorgeous face!—And you say she’s gone crazy?" he said. "You say[Pg 175] she’s gone crazy?" He turned to Carol. "And what do you think?" he asked.
"Oh, please, Sir, Carol doesn't say anything!" I explained. "He can't! He's dumb!"
"Oh, come on, Sir, Carol isn't saying anything!" I explained. "He can't! He's mute!"
"Dumb?" cried Old Man Smith. "So this is the Dumb Child, is it?" He looked at Carol. He looked at himself. He looked at my freckles. He rocked his hands on his stomach. "Merciful God!" he said. "How are we all afflicted!"
"Dumb?" shouted Old Man Smith. "So this is the Dumb Child, huh?" He glanced at Carol. He glanced at himself. He glanced at my freckles. He rested his hands on his stomach. "Merciful God!" he exclaimed. "How are we all cursed!"
"Oh, please, Sir," I said, "my brother Carol isn't afflicted at all!—It's a great gift my Mother says to be born with the Gift of Silence instead of the Gift of Speech!"
"Oh, please, Sir," I said, "my brother Carol isn't affected at all!—It's a great gift my Mom says to be born with the Gift of Silence instead of the Gift of Speech!"
He made a little chuckle in his throat. He began to look at Young Annie Halliway all over again.
He chuckled quietly to himself. He started to look at Young Annie Halliway all over again.
"And what does your Mother say about her?" he pointed.
"And what does your mom say about her?" he pointed.
"My Mother says," I explained, "that she[Pg 176] only hopes that the person who finds her mind will be honest enough to return it!"
"My mom says," I explained, "that she[Pg 176] only hopes that the person who finds her mind will be honest enough to return it!"
"What?" said Old Man Smith. "To return it?—Honest enough to return it?"
"What?" said Old Man Smith. "Return it?—Really going to return it?"
He began to do everything all over again!—To chuckle! To rock! To take Young Annie Halliway's chin in his hand!
He started doing everything all over again!—To laugh! To sway! To take Young Annie Halliway's chin in his hand!
"And what did you say your name was, my pretty darling?" he asked.
"And what did you say your name is, my lovely darling?" he asked.
Young Annie Halliway looked a little surprised.
Young Annie Halliway looked a bit taken aback.
"My name is Robin," she said. "Dearest—Robin—I think."
"My name is Robin," she said. "I think—dear—Robin."
"You think wrong!" said Old Man Smith. He frowned with ferocity.
"You’re mistaken!" said Old Man Smith. He frowned fiercely.
It made us pretty nervous all of a sudden.
It suddenly made us really nervous.
Carol went off to look at the bee-hive to calm himself. Young Annie Halliway picked up the end of one of her long braids and looked at that. There was still about a foot of it that didn't have anything braided into it. I didn't know where to look so I[Pg 177] looked at the house. It was very glistening. Blue it glistened. And green it glistened! And red it glistened! And pink! And purple! And yellow!
Carol went off to check out the bee-hive to calm down. Young Annie Halliway picked up one end of her long braid and looked at it. There was still about a foot of it that wasn’t braided. I didn’t know where to look, so I[Pg 177] looked at the house. It was really shiny. It glistened blue. And green! And red! And pink! And purple! And yellow!
"Oh, see!" I pointed. "There's old Mrs. Beckett's rose-vase with the gold edge!—She dropped it on the brick garden-walk the day her son who'd been lost at sea for eleven years walked through the gate all alive and perfectly dry!—And that chunky white nozzle with the blue stripe on it?—I know what that is!—It's the nose of Deacon Perry's first wife's best tea pot!—I've seen it there! In a glass cupboard! On the top shelf!—She never used it 'cept when the Preacher came!"
"Oh, look!" I pointed. "There's old Mrs. Beckett's rose vase with the gold edge! She dropped it on the brick path the day her son, who had been lost at sea for eleven years, walked through the gate, perfectly alive and dry! And that chunky white spout with the blue stripe? I know what that is! It's the spout of Deacon Perry's first wife's favorite teapot! I've seen it there! In a glass cabinet! On the top shelf! She only used it when the preacher came!"
"The Deacon's second wife broke it—feeding chickens out of it," said Old Man Smith.
"The deacon's second wife broke it—feeding chickens with it," said Old Man Smith.
"And that little scrap of saucer," I cried, "with the pansy petal on it?—Why—Why that's little Hallie Bent's doll-dishes!—We played with 'em down in the orchard! She[Pg 178] died!" I cried. "She had the whooping-measles!"
"And that little piece of saucer," I exclaimed, "with the pansy petal on it?—Why—Why that's little Hallie Bent's doll dishes!—We played with them down in the orchard! She[Pg 178] died!" I shouted. "She had the whooping cough!"
"That little scrap of saucer," said Old Man Smith, "was the only thing they found in Mr. Bent's bank box.—What the widow was lookin' for was gold!"
"That little piece of saucer," said Old Man Smith, "was the only thing they found in Mr. Bent's bank box.—What the widow was searching for was gold!"
"And that green glass stopper!" I cried. "Oh, Goodie——Goodie——Goodie!—Why, that——"
"And that green glass stopper!" I exclaimed. "Oh, yay—yay—yay!—Well, that—"
"Hush your noise!" said Old Man Smith. "History is solemn!—The whole history of the village is written on the outer walls of my house!—When the Sun strikes here,—strikes there,—on that bit of glass,—on this bit of crockles—the edge of a plate,—the rim of a tumbler,—I read about folk's minds!—What they loved!—What they hated!—What they was thinking of instead when it broke!—" He snatched his long white beard in his hands. He wagged his head at me. "There's a law about breakin' things," he said, "same as there's a law about losin' them![Pg 179] My house is a sample-book," he said. "On them there walls—all stuck up like that—I've got a sample of most every mind in the village!—People give 'em to me themselves," he said. "They let me rake out their trash barrels every now and then. They don't know what they're givin.'—Now, that little pewter rosette there——"
"Hush your noise!" said Old Man Smith. "History is serious! The entire history of the village is written on the outer walls of my house! When the sun hits here, strikes there, on that piece of glass, on this bit of crockery—the edge of a plate, the rim of a tumbler—I can see what people were thinking! What they loved! What they hated! What was on their minds when it broke!" He grabbed his long white beard with his hands. He shook his head at me. "There's a rule about breaking things," he said, "just like there's a rule about losing them![Pg 179] My house is a sample book," he said. "On those walls—all displayed like that—I have a sample of almost every mind in the village! People give them to me themselves," he said. "They let me dig through their trash every now and then. They don’t realize what they’re giving away. Now, that little pewter rosette there—"
"It would be nice—wouldn't it," I said, "if you could find a sample of Young Annie Halliway's mind? Then maybe you could match it!"
"It would be great—don't you think?" I said, "if you could find a sample of Young Annie Halliway's mind? Then maybe you could match it!"
"Eh?" said Old Man Smith. "A sample of her mind?" He looked jerky. He growled in his throat. "A—hem——A—hem," he said. He closed his eyes. I thought he'd decided to die. I screamed for Carol. He came running. He'd only been bee-stung twice. Old Man Smith opened his eyes. His voice sounded queer. "Where do they think she lost her mind?" he whispered.[Pg 180]
"What?" said Old Man Smith. "A sample of her mind?" He looked stiff. He growled in his throat. "A—hem——A—hem," he said. He closed his eyes. I thought he was going to die. I yelled for Carol. He came running. He'd only been stung by bees twice. Old Man Smith opened his eyes. His voice sounded strange. "Where do they think she lost her mind?" he whispered.[Pg 180]
"In Europe," I said. "Maybe in a train! Maybe on a boat! They don't know! She can't remember anything about it."
"In Europe," I said. "Maybe on a train! Maybe on a boat! They have no idea! She can't recall anything about it."
"U—m—m," said Old Man Smith. He looked at Young Annie Halliway. "And where do you think you lost it?" he said.
"Uh—huh," said Old Man Smith. He looked at Young Annie Halliway. "And where do you think you lost it?" he asked.
Young Annie Halliway seemed very much pleased to be asked. She laughed right out.
Young Annie Halliway seemed really happy to be asked. She laughed out loud.
"In a March wind!" she said.
"In a March wind!" she exclaimed.
"Eh?" said Old Man Smith. He turned to me again. "What did you say her name was?" he asked.
"Huh?" said Old Man Smith. He turned to me again. "What did you say her name was?" he asked.
I felt a little cross.
I felt a bit annoyed.
"Halliway!" I said. "Halliway—Halliway—Halliway! They live in the big house out by the Chestnut Trees! They only come here in the Summers! Except now! The Doctors say it's Mysteria!"
"Halliway!" I said. "Halliway—Halliway—Halliway! They live in the big house by the Chestnut Trees! They only come here in the summer! Except now! The doctors say it's Mysteria!"
"The Doctors say what is Mysteria?" said Old Man Smith.
"The doctors want to know what is Mysteria?" asked Old Man Smith.
"What Annie's got!" I explained. "What[Pg 181] made her lose her mind! Mysteria is what they call it."
"What Annie's got!" I explained. "What[Pg 181] made her lose her mind! It's called Mysteria."
"U—m—m," said Old Man Smith. He reached way down into his pocket. He pulled out a box. He opened the box. It was full of pieces of colored glass! And of china! He juggled them in his hands. They looked gay. Red they were! And green! And white! And yellow! And blue! He snatched out all the blue ones and hid 'em quick in his pocket. "She seems sort of partial to blue," he said.
"Um," said Old Man Smith. He reached deep into his pocket. He pulled out a box. He opened it up. It was filled with pieces of colored glass! And china! He juggled them in his hands. They looked cheerful. They were red! And green! And white! And yellow! And blue! He quickly grabbed all the blue ones and hid them in his pocket. "She seems to really like blue," he said.
There was one funny big piece of glass that was awful shiny. When he held it up to the light it glinted and glowed all sorts of colors. It made your eyes feel very calm.
There was a funny big piece of glass that was really shiny. When he held it up to the light, it sparkled and shone with all sorts of colors. It made your eyes feel very relaxed.
Annie Halliway reached out her hand for it. She didn't say a word. She just stared at it with her hand all reached out.
Annie Halliway reached out her hand for it. She didn't say anything. She just stared at it with her hand extended.
But Old Man Smith didn't give it to her. He just sat and stared at her eyes.
But Old Man Smith didn't give it to her. He just sat there and stared into her eyes.
Her eyes never moved from the shining[Pg 182] bit of glass. They looked awful funny. Bigger and bigger they got! And rounder and rounder! And stiller and stiller!
Her eyes stayed fixed on the bright[Pg 182] piece of glass. They looked really strange. They kept getting bigger and bigger! And rounder and rounder! And more and more still!
It was like a puppy-dog pointing a little bird in the grass. It made you feel queer. It made you feel all sort of hollow inside. It made your legs wobble.
It was like a puppy pointing at a little bird in the grass. It made you feel strange. It left you feeling empty inside. It made your legs shake.
Carol's mouth was wide open.
Carol was shocked.
So was Old Man Smith's.
So was Old Man Smith’s.
Old Man Smith reached out suddenly and put the shining bit of glass right into Annie Halliway's hand. It fell through her fingers. But her hand stayed just where it was, reaching out into the air.
Old Man Smith suddenly reached out and placed the shiny piece of glass directly into Annie Halliway's hand. It slipped through her fingers. But her hand remained where it was, reaching out into the air.
"Put down your arm!" said Old Man Smith.
"Put your arm down!" said Old Man Smith.
Annie Halliway put it down. Her eyes were still staring very wide.
Annie Halliway set it down. Her eyes were still wide open.
"Look!" said Old Man Smith. "Look!" He dropped several pieces of colored glass china into her lap.
"Look!" said Old Man Smith. "Look!" He dropped a few pieces of colored glass china into her lap.
She chose the handle of a red tea cup and[Pg 183] a little chunk of yellow crockery. She stared and stared at them. But all the time it was as though her eyes didn't see them. All the time it was as though she was looking at something very far away. Then all of a sudden she began to jingle them together in her hand,—the little piece of red china and the chunk of yellow bowl! And swing her shoulders! And stamp her foot! It looked like dancing. It sounded like clappers.
She picked up the handle of a red teacup and[Pg 183] a small piece of yellow dishware. She kept staring at them. But it felt like her eyes weren't really seeing them. It felt like she was looking at something far away. Then suddenly, she started to jingle them together in her hand—the little piece of red china and the chunk of yellow bowl! And she began to sway her shoulders! And stomp her foot! It looked like dancing. It sounded like clapping.
"Oh, Ho! This is Spain!" she laughed.
"Oh, wow! This is Spain!" she laughed.
Old Man Smith snatched all the blue pieces of china and glass out of his pocket again and tossed them into her lap. He looked sort of mad.
Old Man Smith pulled all the blue pieces of china and glass out of his pocket again and threw them into her lap. He looked pretty angry.
"Spain?" he said. "Spain? What in the Old Harry has a handful of glass and china got to do with Spain?"
"Spain?" he said. "Spain? What the heck does a bunch of glass and china have to do with Spain?"
"Harry?" said Annie Halliway. "Old—Harry?" Her eyes looked wider and blinder every minute. It was as though everything in her was wide awake except the thing she[Pg 184] was thinking about. "Har—ry?" she puzzled. "Harry?" she dropped the red and yellow china from her hand and picked up a piece of blue glass and offered it to Old Man Smith. "Why, that is Harry!" she said. She reached for the pig-tail that had the blue Larkspur braided into it. She pointed to the pig-tail that had the blue fan braided into it. "Why, that is Harry!" she said. She made a little sob in her throat.
"Harry?" Annie Halliway said. "Old—Harry?" Her eyes seemed to grow wider and more blank by the minute. It was as if everything inside her was fully alert except for the thing she[Pg 184] was trying to think about. "Har—ry?" she wondered. "Harry?" She dropped the red and yellow china from her hand and picked up a piece of blue glass, offering it to Old Man Smith. "Wow, that is Harry!" she exclaimed. She reached for the pig-tail that had the blue Larkspur woven into it. She pointed to the pig-tail that had the blue fan braided into it. "Wow, that is Harry!" she said. A little sob caught in her throat.
Old Man Smith jingled his hands at her.
Old Man Smith waved his hands at her.
"There—There—There, my Pretty!" he said. "Never mind—Never mind!"
"There—There—There, my pretty!" he said. "It's okay—It's okay!"
He opened his hands. There were some little teeny-tiny pieces of plain glass in his hands. Little round knobs like beads they were. Very shining. They made a nice jingle.
He opened his hands. There were some tiny pieces of plain glass in his hands. Little round knobs like beads they were. Very shiny. They made a nice jingle.
When Annie Halliway saw them she screamed! And snatched them in her hand! And threw them away just as far as she could! All over the grass she threw them![Pg 185]
When Annie Halliway saw them, she screamed! She grabbed them in her hand and tossed them as far as she could! She scattered them all over the grass![Pg 185]
"I will not!" she screamed. "I will not! I will not!" Her tears were awful.
"I won't!" she shouted. "I won't! I won't!" Her tears were heartbreaking.
When she got through screaming her face looked like a wet cloth that had everything else wrung out of it except shadows.
When she finished screaming, her face looked like a damp cloth that had everything else squeezed out of it except for shadows.
"Where—is—Harry?" said Old Man Smith. He said it very slowly. And then all over again. "Where—is—Harry?—You wouldn't have dar'st not tell him if you'd known."
"Where is Harry?" said Old Man Smith. He said it very slowly. And then repeated it all over again. "Where is Harry? You wouldn't have dared not to tell him if you had known."
Annie Halliway started to pick up some blue glass again. Then she stopped and looked all around her. It was a jerky stop. Her jaw sort of dropped.
Annie Halliway began to pick up some blue glass again. Then she paused and scanned her surroundings. It was a sudden stop. Her jaw kind of dropped.
"Harry—is—in—prison!" she said. Even though she'd said it herself she seemed to be awfully surprised at the news. She shook and shook her head as though she was trying to wake up the idea that was asleep. Her eyes were all scrunched up now with trying to remember about it. She dragged the back of her hands across her forehead. First one[Pg 186] hand and then the other. She opened her eyes very wide again and looked at Old Man Smith.
"Harry is in prison!" she said. Even though she had said it herself, she seemed really shocked by the news. She shook her head repeatedly like she was trying to wake up the idea that was sleeping. Her eyes were all scrunched up as she tried to remember. She wiped the back of her hands across her forehead, first one hand and then the other. She opened her eyes wide again and looked at Old Man Smith.
"Where—is—Harry?" said Old Man Smith.
"Where's Harry?" said Old Man Smith.
Annie Halliway never took her eyes from Old Man Smith's face.
Annie Halliway never took her eyes off Old Man Smith's face.
"It—It was the night we crossed the border from France to Spain," she said. Her voice sounded very funny and far away. It sounded like reciting a lesson too. "There were seven of us and a teacher from the Paris art school," she recited. "It—It was the March holiday.——There—There—was a woman——a strange woman in the next compartment who made friends with me.—She seemed to be crazy over my hair.—She asked if she might braid it for the night."
"It was the night we crossed the border from France to Spain," she said. Her voice sounded really strange and distant. It felt like she was just reciting something. "There were seven of us and a teacher from the Paris art school," she continued. "It was during the March break. There was a woman—a strange woman—in the next compartment who became friends with me. She seemed to be obsessed with my hair. She asked if she could braid it for the night."
Without any tears at all Annie Halliway began to sob again.
Without shedding a single tear, Annie Halliway started to cry again.
"When they waked us up at the Customs," she sobbed, "Harry came running! His face[Pg 187] was awful! 'She's braided diamonds in your hair!' he cried. 'I heard her talking with her accomplice! A hundred thousand dollars' worth of diamonds! Smugglers and murderers both they are!—Everybody will be searched!'—He tore at my braids! I tore at my braids! The diamonds rattled out! Harry tried to catch them!—He pushed me back into the train! I saw soldiers running!—I thought they were going to shoot him! He thought they were going to shoot him!—I saw his eyes!—He looked so—so surprised!—I'd never noticed before how blue his eyes were!—I tell you I saw his eyes!—I couldn't speak!—There wasn't anybody to explain just why he had his hands full of diamonds!—I saw his eyes! I tell you I couldn't speak!—I tell you I never spoke!—My tongue went dead in my mouth! For months I never spoke!—I've only just begun to speak again!—I've only just——"
"When they woke us up at Customs," she cried, "Harry came rushing in! His face[Pg 187] looked terrible! 'She's got diamonds braided into your hair!' he shouted. 'I heard her talking to her partner! A hundred thousand dollars' worth of diamonds! They’re smugglers and murderers both!—Everyone is going to be searched!'—He pulled at my braids! I pulled at my braids! The diamonds tumbled out! Harry tried to grab them!—He shoved me back onto the train! I saw soldiers running!—I thought they were going to shoot him! He thought they were going to shoot him!—I saw his eyes!—He looked so—so shocked!—I’d never noticed before how blue his eyes were!—I’m telling you I saw his eyes!—I couldn’t speak!—There wasn’t anyone to explain why he had his hands full of diamonds!—I saw his eyes! I’m telling you I couldn’t speak!—I’m telling you I never spoke!—My tongue went dead in my mouth! For months, I didn’t talk!—I’ve only just started to speak again!—I’ve only just——"
She started to jump up from the ground[Pg 188] where she was sitting! She couldn't!—She had braided Old Man Smith and his wheel chair into her hair! When she saw what she had done she toppled right over on her face! And fainted all out!
She started to jump up from the ground[Pg 188] where she was sitting! She couldn't!—She had braided Old Man Smith and his wheelchair into her hair! When she realized what she had done, she fell flat on her face! And passed out completely!
Over behind the lilac bush somebody screamed.
Over by the lilac bush, someone screamed.
It was Annie Halliway's Mother! With her was a strange gentleman who had come all the way from New York to try and cure Annie Halliway. The strange gentleman was some special kind of a doctor.
It was Annie Halliway's mom! With her was a mysterious guy who had traveled all the way from New York to try to help Annie Halliway. The mysterious guy was a special kind of doctor.
"Hush—Hush!" the Special Doctor kept saying to everybody. "This is a very crucial moment! Can't you see that this a very crucial moment?" He pointed to Annie Halliway on the grass. Her Mother knelt beside her trying very hard to comb Old Man Smith and his wheel-chair out of her pig-tail. "Speak to her!" said the Doctor. "Speak to her very gently!"[Pg 189]
"Hush—hush!" the Special Doctor kept saying to everyone. "This is a very important moment! Can't you see that this is a very important moment?" He pointed to Annie Halliway on the grass. Her mother knelt beside her, trying her best to untangle Old Man Smith and his wheelchair from her pig-tail. "Talk to her!" the Doctor urged. "Talk to her very gently!"[Pg 189]
"Annie?" cried her Mother. "Annie?—Annie—Annie?"
"Annie?" cried her mom. "Annie?—Annie—Annie?"
Annie Halliway opened her eyes very slowly and looked up. It was a brand new kind of a look. It had a bottom to it instead of being just through and through and through. There was a little smile in it too. It was a pretty look.
Annie Halliway opened her eyes slowly and looked up. It was a completely new kind of look. It had depth instead of being just empty. There was also a slight smile in it. It was a lovely look.
"Why, Mother," said Annie Halliway. "Where am I?"
"Why, Mom," said Annie Halliway. "Where am I?"
The Special Man from New York made a queer little sound in his throat.
The special guy from New York made a strange little noise in his throat.
"Thank God!" he said. "She's all right now!"
"Thank God!" he said. "She's okay now!"
It seemed pretty quick to me.
It felt pretty fast to me.
"You mean—" I said, "that her Mysteria is all cured—now?"
"You mean—" I said, "that her Mysteria is totally cured now?"
"Not Mysteria," said the Special Man from New York, "Hysteria!"
"Not Mysteria," said the Special Man from New York, "Hysteria!"
The Special Man from New York began to laugh.
The Special Man from New York started to laugh.
But Annie Halliway's Mother began to cry.
But Annie Halliway's mom started to cry.
"Oh, just suppose we'd never found her?" she cried. She looked at Carol. She looked at me. She glared a little. But not so awfully much. "When you naughty children ran away with her?" she cried. "And we couldn't find her anywhere?—And the Doctor came? And there was only an hour to spare?—And we got a horse and drove round anywhere? And—And——"
"Oh, just imagine if we had never found her?" she exclaimed. She glanced at Carol. She glanced at me. She glared a bit. But not too much. "When you naughty kids ran away with her?" she exclaimed. "And we couldn't find her anywhere?—And the doctor showed up? And there was only an hour left?—And we got a horse and drove around everywhere? And—And——"
"I wouldn't have missed it for anything!" said the Special Man from New York.
"I wouldn't have missed it for anything!" said the Special Man from New York.
"And all your appointments waiting?" cried Annie Halliway's Mother.
"And are all your appointments waiting?" cried Annie Halliway's mother.
"Darn the appointments!" said the Special Man from New York. He slanted his head and looked at Old Man Smith. "We arrived," he said, "just at the moment when the young lady was gazing so—so intently at[Pg 191] the piece of shiny glass." He made a funny grunt in his throat. "Let me congratulate you, Mr.—Mr. Smith!" he said. "Your treatment was most efficient!—Your hypnosis was perfect! Your——"
"Darn the appointments!" said the Special Man from New York. He tilted his head and looked at Old Man Smith. "We arrived," he said, "just when the young lady was staring so—so intensely at[Pg 191] the shiny piece of glass." He made a strange grunt in his throat. "Let me congratulate you, Mr.—Mr. Smith!" he said. "Your treatment was really effective!—Your hypnosis was spot on! Your——"
"Hip nothing!" said Old Man Smith.
"Hip nothing!" said Old Man Smith.
"Of course, in a case like this," said the Special Man from New York, "the Power of Suggestion is always——"
"Of course, in a situation like this," said the Special Man from New York, "the Power of Suggestion is always——"
"All young folks," said Old Man Smith, "are cases of one kind or another—and the most powerful suggestion that I can make is that somebody find 'Harry!'"
"All young people," said Old Man Smith, "are unique in their own way—and the best suggestion I can make is that someone find 'Harry!'"
"'Harry?'" said Annie Halliway's Mother. "'Harry?'—Why, I've got four letters at home for Annie in my desk now—from some im—impetuous young man who signs himself 'Harry!'—He seems to be in an Architect's office in Paris! 'Robin' is what he calls Annie!—'Dearest Robin'——"
"'Harry?'" said Annie Halliway's Mother. "'Harry?'—Why, I have four letters at home for Annie in my desk right now—from some impetuous young man who signs himself 'Harry!'—He seems to work in an architect's office in Paris! 'Robin' is what he calls Annie!—'Dearest Robin'——"
"Eh?" said Annie Halliway. "What? Where?" She sat bolt upright! She scrambled[Pg 192] to her feet! She started for the carriage!
"Eh?" said Annie Halliway. "What? Where?" She sat up straight! She scrambled[Pg 192] to her feet! She started toward the carriage!
Her Mother had to run to catch her.
Her mom had to run to catch her.
The Special Man from New York followed them just as fast as he could.
The guy from New York chased after them as quickly as he could.
Old Man Smith wheeled his chair to the gate to say "Good-bye."
Old Man Smith rolled his chair to the gate to say "Goodbye."
Everything seemed all mixed up.
Everything seemed so mixed up.
Annie Halliway's Mother never stopped talking a single second.
Annie Halliway's mom never stopped talking for a second.
"Oh, my Pet!" she cried. "My Precious. My Treasure!"
"Oh, my pet!" she exclaimed. "My precious. My treasure!"
With one foot on the carriage step the Special Man from New York turned round and looked at Old Man Smith. He smiled a funny little smile.
With one foot on the carriage step, the Special Man from New York turned around and looked at Old Man Smith. He gave a quirky little smile.
"Seek—and ye shall find!" he said. "That is—if you only know How and Where to seek."
"Look—and you'll discover!" he said. "That is—if you just know How and Where to look."
Old Man Smith began to chuckle in his beard.
Old Man Smith started to chuckle to himself.
"Yes, I admit that's quite a help," he said,[Pg 193] "the knowing How and Where!—But before you set out seekin' very hard for anything that's lost it's a pretty good idea to find out first just exactly what it is that you're seekin' for!—When a young lady's lost her mind, for instance, that's one thing!—But if it's her heart that's lost, why, that, of course, is quite another!"
"Yeah, I have to admit that's really helpful," he said,[Pg 193] "knowing the How and Where!—But before you go out looking too hard for something that's lost, it's a good idea to figure out exactly what you're looking for!—When a young woman has lost her mind, that's one thing!—But if it's her heart that's lost, well, that's a totally different matter!"
Annie Halliway's face wasn't white any more. It was as red as roses. She had it in her Mother's shoulder.
Annie Halliway's face wasn't pale anymore. It was as red as roses. She had it buried in her mother's shoulder.
The horses began to prance. The carriage began to creak.
The horses started to prance. The carriage began to creak.
Annie Halliway's Mother looked all around.
Annie Halliway's mom looked all around.
"Oh, dear—oh, dear—oh, dear, Mr.—Mr. Smith," she said. "How shall I ever repay you?"
"Oh, no—oh, no—oh, no, Mr.—Mr. Smith," she said. "How will I ever repay you?"
Old Man Smith reached out his hand across the fence. There was sort of a twinkle in his eye.
Old Man Smith extended his hand over the fence. There was a kind of sparkle in his eye.
"One dollar, please," said Old Man Smith.
"One dollar, please," said Old Man Smith.
THE BOOK OF THE FUNNY SMELLS—AND EVERYTHING
THE BOOK OF THE FUNNY SMELLS—AND EVERYTHING
It was Carol who invented the Book. He didn't mean any harm.
It was Carol who created the Book. He didn't intend any harm.
I helped him.
I helped him out.
We called it "The Book of the Funny Smells—and Everything."
We named it "The Book of Funny Smells—and Everything."
It was one Tuesday noon coming home from school that we stopped the Lady on the street.
It was one Tuesday afternoon, coming home from school, that we stopped the Lady on the street.
She was a very interesting looking lady. She looked like all sorts of different-colored silk roses. And a diamond brooch.
She was a really interesting-looking woman. She resembled a bunch of variously colored silk roses. And a diamond brooch.
"Excuse us, Madam," I said. "But we are making a book! And we have decided to begin it with you! If you were a Beautiful Smell instead of a Beautiful Lady,—what Beautiful Smell in the Whole Wide World would you choose to be?"[Pg 198]
"Excuse us, ma'am," I said. "But we're creating a book! And we've decided to start it with you! If you were a Beautiful Smell instead of a Beautiful Lady—what Beautiful Smell in the Whole Wide World would you choose to be?"[Pg 198]
The lady reeled back against the wall of the Post Office. And put on a gold eyeglass to support her.
The woman leaned back against the wall of the Post Office and put on a gold-rimmed eyeglass for support.
"Merciful Impudences!" she said. "What new kind of census is this?"
"Merciful Impudences!" she exclaimed. "What kind of crazy census is this?"
We knew what a "census" was.
We knew what a "census" was.
"No! It isn't that at all!" I explained. "This is something important."
"No! That's not it at all!" I explained. "This is something important."
Carol showed her the book. He showed her the pencil he was going to write the book with.
Carol showed her the book. He showed her the pencil he was going to use to write the book.
"When it's all done," I explained, "everybody will want to read it!"
"When it's all finished," I explained, "everyone will want to read it!"
"I can well believe it," said the Lady. She looked at Carol. Everybody looks at Carol.
"I can totally believe it," said the Lady. She glanced at Carol. Everyone looks at Carol.
"Who are you children, anyway?" she said.
"Who are you kids, anyway?" she said.
"My name is Ruthy," I explained. "And this is my brother Carol."
"My name is Ruthy," I said. "And this is my brother Carol."
She began to look at Carol all over again. She reached out and shook him by the shoulder.[Pg 199]
She started to look at Carol all over again. She reached out and shook him by the shoulder.[Pg 199]
"Dumbness!" she said. "Why let Sister do all the talking?"
"Dumbness!" she exclaimed. "Why let Sister do all the talking?"
My stomach felt pretty queer.
My stomach felt really off.
"My brother Carol can't talk," I explained. "He is dumb!"
"My brother Carol can't talk," I explained. "He is mute!"
The Lady turned very red.
The lady blushed deeply.
"Oh dear—Oh dear—Oh dear," she said. She opened her purse. She took out a dollar bill. "Surely something could be done about it!" she said.
"Oh no—oh no—oh no," she said. She opened her purse. She took out a dollar bill. "Surely something can be done about this!" she said.
"We are not looking for money," I explained. "We are perfectly rich. We have warm underalls. And two parents. And an older sister. We have a tame coon. And a tame crow. Our Father could paint the house any Autumn he wanted to if he'd rather do it than plant Tulips."
"We're not after money," I said. "We're doing just fine. We have warm clothes. And two parents. And an older sister. We have a pet raccoon. And a pet crow. Our dad could paint the house every fall if he’d rather do that than plant tulips."
The Lady looked at her watch. It was a bright blue watch no bigger than a violet is.
The lady looked at her watch. It was a bright blue watch, no bigger than a violet.
"This is all very interesting," she said. "But at the obnoxious hotel which you run[Pg 200] in this village dinner is at twelve o'clock and if I'm not there at exactly that moment there will not be another dinner, I suppose, until twelve o'clock the next day. So——"
"This is all really interesting," she said. "But at the annoying hotel you run[Pg 200] in this village, dinner is at twelve o'clock and if I'm not there right on time, I guess there won't be another dinner until twelve o'clock the next day. So——"
"Probably not," I said. "So if you don't feel timid at all about walking out with strangers, my brother Carol and I will walk home to the Hotel with you and write our book as we go."
"Probably not," I said. "So if you're not at all nervous about walking out with strangers, my brother Carol and I will walk back to the hotel with you and write our book as we go."
The Lady bit herself. She bit herself in the lip. She began to walk very fast.
The lady bit her lip. She started walking really fast.
Carol walked very fast on one side of her. I walked very fast on the other. Carol carried the book. He carried it wide open so as to be all ready any moment. I carried the pencil.
Carol walked quickly on one side of her. I walked quickly on the other. Carol had the book. He held it wide open, ready at any moment. I had the pencil.
"Can you tell me," said the Lady, "just why you and your brother have picked upon me as the first victim of your most astonishing interrogations?"
"Can you tell me," said the Lady, "why you and your brother chose me as the first target of your incredible interrogations?"
"Because you are the only Lady we ever saw in our lives that we didn't know who[Pg 201] she was!" I explained. "And that makes it more interesting!"
"Because you're the only lady we've ever seen in our lives that we didn't know who[Pg 201] she was!" I explained. "And that makes it even more interesting!"
"O—h," said the Lady. She gave a queer little gasp. It was the Hotel happening! She ran up the hotel steps. There was a Gentleman waiting for her at the top of the steps. He was a tall Gentleman with a very cross mustache. The Lady whispered something to him. He shook his mustache at us.
"O—h," said the Lady. She let out a strange little gasp. It was the Hotel incident! She hurried up the hotel steps. There was a Gentleman waiting for her at the top. He was a tall Gentleman with a very angry mustache. The Lady whispered something to him. He shook his mustache at us.
"Get out of here, you Young Scamps!" he cried. "Get out of here, I say! Get out!"
"Get out of here, you little rascals!" he shouted. "Get out of here, I mean it! Get out!"
No one had ever shaken his mustache at us before. We sat down on the step to think about it.
No one had ever twirled their mustache at us before. We sat down on the step to think about it.
The Gentleman ran off to call the Hotel Proprietor.
The gentleman ran off to call the hotel owner.
The Lady looked a little sorry. She came running back. She stooped down. She took the book from Carol. And the pencil from me. She laughed a little.
The lady looked a bit apologetic. She hurried back. She bent down. She took the book from Carol and the pencil from me. She laughed softly.
"You funny—funny children," she said.[Pg 202] "What is it you want to know? The Most Beautiful Smell in the whole wide world,—is that it?—The Most Beautiful Smell in the whole wide world?" She looked back over her shoulder. She wrote very fast. Her cheeks looked pink. She banged the book together just the first second she had finished. She pulled my ear. "I'm—I'm sorry," she said.
"You’re such funny kids," she said.[Pg 202] "What do you want to know? The most beautiful smell in the whole wide world—is that it?—the most beautiful smell in the whole wide world?" She glanced back over her shoulder. She wrote really quickly. Her cheeks were flushed pink. As soon as she finished, she snapped the book shut. Then she tugged on my ear. "I’m—I'm sorry," she said.
"Oh, that's all right," I assured her. "We'll be round and write the rest of the book some other day!"
"Oh, that's fine," I reassured her. "We'll come by and finish writing the book another day!"
The Man with the Cross Mustache kept right on hunting all around.
The Man with the Cross Mustache continued hunting all around.
When the Hotel Proprietor came running and saw who we were he gave us two oranges instead, and a left-over roll of wall-paper with parrots on it, and all the old calendars that were in his desk.
When the hotel owner came running and saw who we were, he gave us two oranges instead, an old roll of wallpaper with parrots on it, and all the old calendars that were in his desk.
We had to race home across the railroad trestle to get there in time. It wasn't till we reached the Blacksmith Shop that we had a[Pg 203] chance to stop and see what the Lady had written in our book. There was a Smoke Tree just outside the Blacksmith Shop. It was all in smoke. We sat down under it and opened our book.
We had to run home across the railroad trestle to make it on time. It wasn't until we got to the Blacksmith Shop that we had a[Pg 203] chance to stop and see what the Lady had written in our book. There was a Smoke Tree just outside the Blacksmith Shop. It was completely covered in smoke. We sat down underneath it and opened our book.
This is what the Lady had written in our book.
This is what the Lady wrote in our book.
The most beautiful smell in the world is the smell of an old tattered baseball glove—that's been lying in the damp grass—by the side of a brook—in June Time.
The most amazing scent in the world is the smell of an old, worn-out baseball glove—that's been resting in the wet grass—next to a stream—in June.
I looked at Carol. Carol looked at me. We felt surprised. It wasn't exactly what you would have expected. Carol rolled over on his stomach. He clapped his heels in the air. He pounded his fists in the grass.
I looked at Carol. Carol looked at me. We felt surprised. It wasn't exactly what you'd expect. Carol rolled over onto his stomach. He kicked his heels in the air. He pounded his fists into the grass.
We forgot all about going home. We went into the Blacksmith's Shop instead. It was a very earthy place. But nothing grew there. Not grass. Not flowers. Not even vines. Just Junk!
We completely forgot about going home. Instead, we went into the Blacksmith's Shop. It was a really gritty place. But nothing grew there. Not grass. Not flowers. Not even vines. Just junk!
The Blacksmith's name was Jason. He[Pg 204] looked something like a Stove that could be doubled up in its stomach and carried round to all four corners of a horse for the horse to put his foot on. He was making shoes for a very stout black horse. The horse's name was Ezra. There were a great many sparks around! And iron noises! And flames! And smouches! Ezra's hoofs seemed to be burning! It smelt so funny we didn't think it would be polite to ask Jason what he'd rather smell like instead! So we decided to begin the other way about. But whatever way you decided you had to scream it.
The blacksmith's name was Jason. He[Pg 204] looked like a big stove that could be flipped over in its belly and carried to all four corners of a horse for the horse to stand on. He was making shoes for a really big black horse. The horse's name was Ezra. There were a ton of sparks flying everywhere! And loud metal sounds! And flames! And smoke! Ezra's hooves looked like they were on fire! The smell was so strange we thought it wouldn’t be polite to ask Jason what he’d rather smell like instead! So we decided to take a different approach. But whichever way you chose, you had to shout it.
"Jason," I screamed. "If you were a Beautiful Sound instead of a Beautiful Blacksmith, what Beautiful Sound in the whole wide world would you choose to be?"
"Jason," I yelled. "If you were a Beautiful Sound instead of a Beautiful Blacksmith, what Beautiful Sound in the whole wide world would you pick to be?"
"Eh?" screamed Jason. He stopped hammering. He stopped thumping. He stopped boiling poor Ezra's hoof with a red hot poker. "Eh?" he said all over again. "Well,[Pg 205] that's a new one on me! What's the Big Idea?"
"Huh?" yelled Jason. He stopped hammering. He stopped thumping. He stopped burning poor Ezra's hoof with a red hot poker. "Huh?" he repeated. "Well,[Pg 205] that's a first for me! What's going on?"
"Well—I want to know," said Jason. He sat down on a great block of wood. He wiped his sleeve on his face. It made his sleeve all black. "If I was a Sound—?" he said. "Instead of a Man?—Instead of a man?" It seemed to puzzle him a good deal. "Not to be a man—any more you mean? No arms? Legs? Stomach? Eyes?—To get all worn out and busted stayin' on forever in one place? And then thrung away?—But to be just a—just a Sound?—Just a Sound? Well, of all the comical ideas! Of all the——" Then quite suddenly he whacked his hand down in a great black smouch on his knee and clanged his feet like dungeon chains across a clutter of horseshoes. "I've got it!" he cried. "I've got it!—If I was a Sound instead of a man I'd choose to be a Song!—Not great loud band-tunes, I mean, that nobody could play[Pg 206] unless he was hired! And charged tickets! But some nice—pretty little Song—floatin' round all soft and easy on ladies' lips and in men's hearts. Or tinklin' out as pleasant as you please on moonlight nights from mandolin strings and young folks sparkin'. Or turnin' up just as likely as not in some old guy's whistle on the top of one of these 'ere omnibuses in London Town. Or travellin' even in a phonograph through the wonders of the great Sahara Desert. Something all simple—I mean that you could hum without even botherin' with the words. Something people would know who you was even if there wasn't any words!—Something all sweet and low——'Sweet and Low,' that's it! My Mother used to sing it! I hain't thought of it for forty years! That's the one I mean!"
"Well—I want to know," said Jason. He sat down on a big block of wood. He wiped his sleeve across his face, making it all black. "If I were a Sound—?" he said. "Instead of a Man?—Instead of a man?" It really puzzled him. "Not being a man—anymore, you mean? No arms? Legs? Stomach? Eyes?—Just getting all worn out and broken while stuck in one place? And then thrown away?—But to be just a—just a Sound?—Just a Sound? Well, what a funny idea! Of all the——" Then suddenly he slapped his hand down, leaving a big black mark on his knee, and clanged his feet like dungeon chains across a mess of horseshoes. "I've got it!" he shouted. "I've got it!—If I were a Sound instead of a man, I'd choose to be a Song!—Not loud band music, I mean, that nobody could play unless they were hired! And charged for tickets! But some nice—pretty little Song—floating around all soft and easy on ladies' lips and in men's hearts. Or tinkling out as pleasantly as you like on moonlit nights from mandolin strings while young folks are courting. Or popping up just as likely as not in some old guy's whistle on top of one of those omnibuses in London. Or traveling even in a phonograph through the wonders of the great Sahara Desert. Something simple—I mean something you could hum without even worrying about the words. Something people would recognize you by even if there weren't any words!—Something all sweet and low——'Sweet and Low,' that’s it! My Mother used to sing that! I haven’t thought of it for forty years! That’s the one I mean!"
"Sweet and Low"—he began to sing.
"Sweet and Low"—he started to sing.
His voice was all deep and full of sand like the way a bass drum makes you feel in your stomach. I looked at Carol. Carol looked at me. We felt pretty surprised. Jason the Blacksmith looked more surprised than anyone! But he kept right on singing!
His voice was deep and gritty, like how a bass drum vibrates in your stomach. I looked at Carol. Carol looked at me. We both felt pretty shocked. Jason the Blacksmith looked more surprised than anyone! But he just kept on singing!
Come from the—something—moon and blow—
While my little one—while my beautiful one—sleeps.
Dad will come to his baby in the nest—
S-silvery—something—from the West—
Silvery——
We ran!
We sprinted!
When we got to the Smoke Tree and looked back there was no sound at all in the Blacksmith Shop except the sound of Ezra thumping his hoofs. And Jason being a Song instead of a man!
When we arrived at the Smoke Tree and looked back, there was complete silence in the Blacksmith Shop except for the sound of Ezra stomping his hooves. And Jason being a Song instead of a person!
The faster we ran the more surprised we felt.
The faster we ran, the more surprised we were.
When you read a book, of course, you expect to be surprised. If you didn't think the person who made the book was going to[Pg 208] tell you something that you didn't know before you wouldn't bother to read it. But when you're writing a book it doesn't seem exactly as though so many unexpected things ought to happen to you!
When you read a book, you obviously expect to be surprised. If you didn’t think the author was going to[Pg 208] share something new with you, you wouldn’t bother reading it. But when you’re writing a book, it doesn’t feel like so many unexpected things should happen to you!
We were pretty glad when we ran right into the Old Minister who preaches sometimes when all the young ministers can't think of anything more to preach about.
We were really happy when we bumped into the Old Minister who sometimes steps in to preach when the younger ministers can’t come up with anything else to talk about.
The Old Minister was leaning against the Bridge. The Old Lawyer was leaning against the Bridge with him. They were waving their canes. And their long white beards. And arguing about the "Thirty-Nine Articles."—Carol thinks it was the "Fifty-Seven Varieties" they were arguing about. But the "Fifty-Seven Varieties" I'm almost sure is Pickles. It's the "Thirty-Nine Articles" that is Arguments!
The Old Minister was leaning against the bridge. The Old Lawyer was leaning against the bridge with him. They were waving their canes and their long white beards while arguing about the "Thirty-Nine Articles." Carol thinks it was the "Fifty-Seven Varieties" they were arguing about. But I'm pretty sure the "Fifty-Seven Varieties" is about pickles. It's the "Thirty-Nine Articles" that is all about arguments!
The Old Minister laughed when he saw us coming. "Well—Well—Well!" he cried. "See who's here! And carrying such a big[Pg 209] book too! And all out of breath!" He put his arm round Carol. I thought he was going to ask us our Catechisms. And there wasn't any breath left in our catechisms.
The Old Minister laughed when he saw us coming. "Well—Well—Well!" he said. "Look who's here! And carrying such a big[Pg 209] book too! And out of breath!" He put his arm around Carol. I thought he was going to ask us our Catechisms. And there wasn't any breath left in our catechisms.
"Oh, if you were a Beautiful Sound," I gasped, "instead of a Beautiful Preacher—what Beautiful Sound in the whole wide world—would you—would you choose to be?"
"Oh, if you were a Beautiful Sound," I breathed out, "instead of a Beautiful Preacher—what Beautiful Sound in the whole wide world would you—would you choose to be?"
"Eh?" said the Old Minister. "Eh?—What's—that? A—A—Sound instead of a Preacher? Well, upon my word!—This minute, you mean? Or any minute? If I was a Beautiful Sound instead of——?" He mopped his forehead. He looked pretty hot. He twinkled his eyes at the Old Lawyer. "Well—just this minute," he said, "I'd rather be the Sound of Foaming Beer than anything else in the world that I can think of!" He thumped his cane on the ground. The Old Lawyer thumped his cane on the ground. They both started off down the road thumping[Pg 210] as they walked. We heard them chuckling as they thumped. They weren't arguing any more about the "Thirty-Nine Articles." They were arguing about Cheese.
"Eh?" said the Old Minister. "Eh?—What’s that? A—A—Sound instead of a Preacher? Well, I’ll be!—This minute, you mean? Or any minute? If I were a Beautiful Sound instead of—?" He wiped his forehead. He looked pretty hot. He winked at the Old Lawyer. "Well—just this minute," he said, "I’d rather be the Sound of Foaming Beer than anything else in the world that I can think of!" He thumped his cane on the ground. The Old Lawyer thumped his cane on the ground. They both started off down the road thumping[Pg 210] as they walked. We heard them chuckling as they thumped. They weren’t arguing anymore about the "Thirty-Nine Articles." They were arguing about Cheese.
And that was surprising too!
And that was surprising, too!
There wasn't any dinner left when we got home except just knives and forks and spoons. My Mother found us two bowls to go with the spoons. And some milk to go with the bowls. And some crackers to go with the milk. Everything went very well.
There wasn't any dinner left when we got home except for some knives, forks, and spoons. My mom found us two bowls to use with the spoons. And some milk to go with the bowls. And some crackers to go with the milk. Everything went really well.
We told my Mother we were sorry to be late but that we were writing a book and it was very important.
We told my mom we were sorry for being late, but we were busy writing a book and it was really important.
My Mother said yes,—she knew that writing books was very important and had always noticed that people who wrote 'em were very apt to be late to things. Her only regret, she said, was that Carol and I hadn't had a little more time in which to form habits of promptness before we began on such a chronic career as Literature.[Pg 211]
My mom said yes—she understood that writing books was really important and had always noticed that people who wrote them tended to be late to things. Her only regret, she said, was that Carol and I hadn't had a bit more time to develop habits of being on time before diving into such a long-term career as writing.[Pg 211]
My Father said "Stuff and Nonsense!" My Father said that if we'd kindly condescend to tear ourselves away from the Charms of Literature for one brief afternoon he'd like to have us weed the Tulip Bed.
My dad said, "Nonsense!" He mentioned that if we could take a break from the joys of reading for just one afternoon, he’d appreciate it if we could help him weed the tulip bed.
We said we would.
We said we would.
We forgot all about our book. It isn't that pulling up weeds is any special fun. It's the putting flowers back that you've pulled up by mistake that is such a Game in itself. You have to make little splints for them out of Forsythia twigs. You have to build little collars of pebble-stone all around them to keep marauding beetles from eating up their wiltedness. You have to bring them medicine-water from the brook instead of from the kitchen—so that nobody will scream and say, "Oh, what have you done now?—Oh, what have you done now?"
We completely forgot about our book. It's not like pulling weeds is any kind of fun. It's putting the flowers back that you accidentally pulled up that makes it a whole thing in itself. You have to create little splints for them out of Forsythia twigs. You have to make small collars of pebbles around them to keep hungry beetles from munching on their droopy leaves. You have to fetch water from the brook instead of the kitchen—so no one will yell, "Oh, what have you done now?—Oh, what have you done now?"
It was Supper Time before we knew it. There was creamed chicken for supper. And wild strawberry preserve. And a letter from[Pg 212] our sister Rosalee. Our sister Rosalee is in Cuba visiting her Betrother. She wrote seven pages about it. She seemed to like her Betrother very much.
It was Supper Time before we realized it. There was creamed chicken for dinner. And wild strawberry jam. And a letter from[Pg 212] our sister Rosalee. Our sister Rosalee is in Cuba visiting her fiancé. She wrote seven pages about it. She seemed to really like her fiancé.
My Mother cried a little. My Father said "Oh, Pshaw! Oh, Pshaw! You can't keep 'em babies forever!" My Mother tried not to look at my Father's eyes. She looked at his feet instead. When she looked at his feet instead she saw that there were holes in his slippers. She seemed very glad. She ran and got a big needle. And a big thread. My Father had to sit very still.
My mom cried a bit. My dad said, "Oh, come on! You can’t keep them babies forever!" My mom tried not to look into my dad's eyes. Instead, she looked at his feet. When she looked at his feet, she noticed there were holes in his slippers. She seemed really happy about that. She ran to get a big needle and some thick thread. My dad had to stay very still.
It seemed a very good time to remember about the Book.
It seemed like a great time to remember the Book.
Carol went and got the Book. He put it down on the Dining Room table. It was a gray book with a red back to it. It said "Lanos Bryant" across the back of it. It was Lanos Bryant who had given us the book. Lanos Bryant was the Butcher. It was an old Account Book. The front of it[Pg 213] was all mixed up with figurings. It was in the back of it that we were making Our Book.
Carol went to get the book. He placed it on the dining room table. It was a gray book with a red spine. It had "Lanos Bryant" written on the spine. Lanos Bryant was the one who had given us the book. Lanos Bryant was the butcher. It was an old account book. The front of it[Pg 213] was filled with various calculations. It was in the back that we were creating our book.
My Mother looked up. She smiled at us.
My mom looked up. She smiled at us.
"Why, bless my heart," she said, "we mustn't forget about the children's Book!"
"Wow, I can't believe it," she said, "we really shouldn't forget about the kids' book!"
"No such luck," said my Father.
"No such luck," said my dad.
Everybody smiled a little.
Everyone smiled a bit.
"What's the Book about?" said my Mother.
"What's the book about?" my mom asked.
I looked at Carol. Carol looked at me. He nudged me to go on.
I looked at Carol. Carol looked at me. He suggested I continue.
"It's about You!" I said. "And about Father! And about Jason the Blacksmith! And about the Old Preacher. And about most anybody I guess that would like to be About-ed!"
"It's about you!" I said. "And about Dad! And about Jason the Blacksmith! And about the Old Preacher. And about pretty much anyone I guess who would want to be included!"
"Well—Well—Well," said my Mother. "And what is it for?"
"Well—Well—Well," said my mom. "And what's it for?"
"Oh, it's just for fun," I said. "But it's very important.—Just the first instant anybody reads it he'll know all there is to know[Pg 214] about everybody without ever having to go and make calls on them! Everything interesting about them I mean! Everything that really matters! Lots of things that nobody would have guessed!"
"Oh, it's just for fun," I said. "But it's really important. The moment someone reads it, they'll know everything there is to know[Pg 214] about everyone without having to make any phone calls! Everything interesting about them, I mean! Everything that really matters! A lot of things that nobody would have guessed!"
"Mercy!" said my Mother. She stopped mending my Father and jumped right up.
"Mercy!" my mom exclaimed. She stopped fixing my dad and jumped up.
My Father jumped right up too!
My dad jumped right up too!
"Oh, it isn't written yet!" I said. "It's only just begun!"
"Oh, it isn't written yet!" I said. "It's only just started!"
"O—h," said my Mother. And sat down again.
"O—h," my mother said. Then she sat down again.
"We though maybe you and Father would help us," I said.
"We thought maybe you and Dad would help us," I said.
"O—h," said my Father. And sat down again too.
"O—h," said my dad. He sat down again too.
Carol began to laugh. I don't know why he laughed.
Carol started laughing. I don’t know why he laughed.
"It's—it's just a set of questions," I explained.
"It's—it's just a list of questions," I explained.
Carol opened the Book and found the questions.[Pg 215]
Carol opened the book and found the questions.[Pg 215]
"Just five or six questions," I explained. "All you have to do is to answer the questions—and tell us how to spell it perhaps.—And then that makes the Book!"
"Just five or six questions," I explained. "All you need to do is answer the questions—and maybe let us know how to spell it. Then that creates the Book!"
"It certainly sounds simple," said my Mother. She began mending my Father very hard. "And what are some of the questions?" she asked.
"It definitely sounds simple," my mom said. She started fixing my dad really hard. "And what are some of the questions?" she asked.
"Well—the first question," I explained, "is 'What is your name?'"
"Well—the first question," I said, "is 'What’s your name?'"
My Mother gave a little giggle. She hushed my Father with her hand.
My mom let out a small giggle. She quieted my dad with her hand.
"Oh surely," she said, "there couldn't be any objection to telling these pleasant children our names?"
"Oh, of course," she said, "there's no reason we can't tell these nice kids our names?"
"No—o," admitted my Father.
"No," my father admitted.
My Mother looked up. She twinkled her eyes a little as well as her mouth.
My mom looked up. Her eyes sparkled a bit, and so did her smile.
"Our names are 'Father' and 'Mother'," she said.
"Our names are 'Dad' and 'Mom,'" she said.
Carol wrote the names in the Book. He wrote them very black and literary looking.[Pg 216] "Father" at the top of one page. And "Mother" at the top of the other. They looked nice.
Carol wrote the names in the Book. He wrote them in bold, elegant letters.[Pg 216] "Father" at the top of one page. And "Mother" at the top of the other. They looked great.
"All right then," said my Father. "Fire away!"
"Okay then," my dad said. "Go ahead!"
I looked at my Father. I looked at my Mother. I didn't know just which one to begin with. Carol kicked me in the shins for encouragement. I decided to begin with my Mother.
I looked at my dad. I looked at my mom. I wasn't sure which one to start with. Carol kicked me in the shins for encouragement. I decided to start with my mom.
"Oh Mother," I said. "If you were a Beautiful Smell instead of a Beautiful Mother,—what Beautiful Smell in the whole wide world—would you choose to be?"
"Oh Mom," I said. "If you were a Beautiful Scent instead of a Beautiful Mom, what Beautiful Scent in the entire world would you choose to be?"
"Eh? What's that? What?" said my Father. "Well, of all the idiotic foolishness! Of all the—"
"Eh? What’s that? What?" said my dad. "Well, of all the ridiculous nonsense! Of all the—"
"Why no—not at all," said my Mother. "Why—Why I think it's rather interesting! Why—Why—Though I must admit," she laughed out suddenly, "that I never quite thought of things in just that way before!"[Pg 217] She looked out the window. She looked in the fire-place. She looked at my Father. She looked at Carol. She looked at me. She began to clap her hands. "I've got it!" she said. "I know what I'd choose! A White Iris! In all the world there's no perfume that can compare with the perfume of a White Iris!—Orris root they call it. Orris—"
"Not at all," my mom said. "I actually find it pretty interesting! I must admit," she suddenly laughed, "that I never thought about it quite like that before!"[Pg 217] She glanced out the window. She looked at the fireplace. She looked at my dad. She looked at Carol. She looked at me. Then she started clapping her hands. "I've got it!" she exclaimed. "I know what I’d choose! A White Iris! Nothing in the world has a scent that can match the scent of a White Iris! They call it orris root. Orris—"
"Humph! What's the matter with Tulips?" said my Father.
"Humph! What's wrong with Tulips?" my dad said.
"Oh but Tulips don't have any smell at all," said my Mother. "Except just the nice earthy smell of Spring winds and Spring rains and Spring sunbeams!—Oh of course they look as though they were going to smell tremendously sweet!" she acknowledged very politely. "But they're just so busy being gay I suppose that—"
"Oh, but tulips don't smell at all," my mother said. "Except for that nice earthy scent from spring winds, spring rains, and spring sunlight!—Oh, of course they look like they’re going to smell super sweet!" she admitted very politely. "But I guess they're just too busy being cheerful to—"
"The Tulip Goldfinch," said my Father coldly, "is noted for its fragrance."
"The Tulip Goldfinch," my dad said coolly, "is known for its scent."
"Oh dear—Oh dear—Oh dear," said my[Pg 218] Mother. She seemed very sorry. She folded her hands. "Oh very well," she said. "Mondays,—Wednesdays,—Fridays,—and Sundays,—I will be the fragrance of the Tulip Goldfinch. But Tuesdays,—Thursdays and Saturdays I really must insist on being the fragrance of a White Iris!"
"Oh no—oh no—oh no," my[Pg 218] Mom said. She looked genuinely sorry. She clasped her hands together. "Fine," she said. "On Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays, I will be the fragrance of the Tulip Goldfinch. But on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, I absolutely insist on being the fragrance of a White Iris!"
"Humph!" said my Father. "There aren't any of them that are worth the nice inky lithograph smell of the first Garden Catalogues that come off the presses 'long about February!"
"Humph!" said my father. "None of them are worth the nice inky smell of the first Garden Catalogs that come off the presses around February!"
My Mother clapped her hands again.
My mom clapped her hands again.
"Oh Goodie!" she said. "Write Father down as choosing to smell like 'the nice inky lithograph smell of the first Garden Catalogues that come off the presses 'long about February'!"
"Oh great!" she said. "Make sure to write down that Dad chose to smell like 'the pleasant inky lithograph scent of the first Garden Catalogs that come off the presses around February'!"
My Father had to tell us how to spell "Lithograph." Carol wrote it very carefully. My Mother laughed.
My dad had to show us how to spell "Lithograph." Carol wrote it down very carefully. My mom laughed.
"Well really," said my Mother, "I'm beginning[Pg 219] to have a very good time.—What is Question No. 2?"
"Well, honestly," my mom said, "I'm starting[Pg 219] to have a really great time.—What’s Question No. 2?"
"Question No. 2," I said, "is:—If you were a Beautiful Sound instead of a Beautiful Father and Mother,—what Beautiful Sound in the whole wide world would you choose to be?"
"Question No. 2," I said, "is:—If you were a Beautiful Sound instead of a Beautiful Mom and Dad, what Beautiful Sound in the entire world would you choose to be?"
My Father felt better almost at once.
My dad felt better almost immediately.
"Oh Pshaw!" he said. "That's easy. I'd be the Sound of Gold Pieces jingling in the pocket of a man—of a man—" He looked at my Mother. "—Of a man who had a Brown-Eyed Wife who looked something like my Brown-Eyed Wife—and three children whose names—when you spoke 'em quickly sounded very similar—yes, very similar indeed to 'Ruthy' and 'Carol' and 'Rosalee'!"
"Oh, come on!" he said. "That's simple. I'd be the sound of gold coins jingling in the pocket of a guy—of a guy—" He glanced at my mom. "—Of a guy who had a brown-eyed wife who looked a bit like my brown-eyed wife—and three kids whose names—when you said them quickly—sounded quite a bit like 'Ruthy,' 'Carol,' and 'Rosalee'!"
"Oh what nonsense!" said my Mother.
"Oh, what nonsense!" said my mom.
"What does the jingle of Gold Pieces amount to?—Now if I could be any Sound I wanted to—I'd choose to be the sweet—soft—breathy[Pg 220] little stir that a nice little family makes when it wakes up in the morning—so that no matter how much you've worried during the long black night you can feel at once that everything's all right! And that everybody's all there!—In all the world," cried my Mother, "I know of no sweeter sound than the sound of a nice little family—waking up in the morning!"
"What does the sound of Gold Pieces add up to?—If I could be any sound I wanted—I'd pick the sweet—soft—breathy[Pg 220] little stir a nice family makes when they wake up in the morning—so that no matter how much you worried through the long dark night, you can instantly feel that everything's okay! And that everyone’s there!—In the whole world," cried my Mother, "I know no sound more comforting than a nice little family waking up in the morning!"
I turned to Carol's page. I laughed and laughed. "Bubbling Fat is what Carol would like to sound like!" I cried. "The noise that Bubbling Fat makes when you drop doughnuts into it!—But I?—If I could be any lovely Sound I wanted to,—I'd like to be the Sound of Rain on a Tin Roof—at night! All over the world people would be lying awake listening to you! And even if they didn't want to listen they'd have to! Till you were good and ready to stop!"
I turned to Carol's page. I laughed and laughed. "Bubbling Fat is how Carol would want to sound!" I exclaimed. "The noise Bubbling Fat makes when you drop doughnuts into it!—But me?—If I could be any wonderful Sound I wanted to,—I'd choose the Sound of Rain on a Tin Roof—at night! All over the world, people would be lying awake listening to you! And even if they didn't want to listen, they'd have to! Until you were good and ready to stop!"
It took Carol a good while to write down everything about "Gold Pieces" and a "Nice[Pg 221] Little Family waking up in the Morning" and "Rain on a Tin Roof."
It took Carol quite some time to write down everything about "Gold Pieces" and a "Nice[Pg 221] Little Family waking up in the Morning" and "Rain on a Tin Roof."
"The next question is pretty hard," I explained. "Maybe you'd like to be thinking about it.—If you were a Beautiful Sight—that people came miles to see,—what Beautiful Sight in the whole wide world would you choose to be?"
"The next question is pretty tough," I said. "Maybe you want to think about it.—If you were a Stunning View—something people traveled far to see—what Stunning View in the entire world would you choose to be?"
My Father didn't wait a minute. "A Field of Tulips!" he said.
My dad didn't hesitate at all. "A Field of Tulips!" he exclaimed.
Carol pounded the table with his fists. His face was like an explosion of smiles. He pointed to my Father's page in the Book.
Carol pounded the table with his fists. His face lit up with joy. He pointed to my father's page in the book.
"It's already written!" I said. "We guessed it all the time!"
"It's already written!" I said. "We figured it out the whole time!"
We turned to my Mother. We saw a little quiver go through my Mother's shoulders.
We looked at my mom. We noticed a slight tremor run through her shoulders.
"I'd choose to be a Storm at Sea!" said my Mother.
"I'd choose to be a Storm at Sea!" my mom said.
"What?" cried my Father.
"What?" my dad cried.
My Father stopped saying "What?" And made a little gasping sound instead. "You?—You?" he said. "The gentlest soul that ever breathed?—Would like to be a 'Storm at Sea'?"
My father stopped saying "What?" and instead made a little gasping sound. "You?—You?" he said. "The gentlest soul that ever lived?—Would like to be a 'Storm at Sea'?"
"It's only the 'mother' side of me that is gentle!" laughed my Mother. She threw back her head suddenly. She thrust out her hands. It jerked her soft, calm hair all fluffy and wild across her forehead. Her eyes danced! Her cheeks turned all pink! "Oh wouldn't it be fun?" she cried. "All the roaring! And the ranting! And the foaming! And the Furying!—Racing up the beaches in great waves! And splashes! Banging against the rocks! Scaring the fishes almost to pieces! Rocking the boats till people fell Bump right out of their berths onto the floor! Ruffling the gulls till——"
"It's just the 'mother' side of me that's gentle!" laughed my mom. She suddenly threw her head back and stretched out her hands, making her soft, calm hair go all fluffy and wild across her forehead. Her eyes sparkled, and her cheeks turned bright pink! "Oh wouldn't it be fun?" she exclaimed. "All the roaring! And the ranting! And the foaming! And the Furying!—Racing up the beaches in huge waves! And splashes! Banging against the rocks! Scaring the fish nearly to death! Rocking the boats until people fell Bump right out of their berths onto the floor! Ruffling the gulls until——"
"You wouldn't actually—wreck a boat would you?" said my Father.
"You wouldn't really—wreck a boat, would you?" my dad asked.
My Mother stopped tossing her head. And[Pg 223] waving her hands. She gave a little sigh. She began mending my Father again very hard.
My mother stopped shaking her head and waving her hands. She let out a small sigh. She started mending my father again with a lot of effort.
"Just——pirates," she said.
"Just—pirates," she said.
"O—h," said my Father.
"O—h," my Dad said.
"We intended to make the next one about 'Motions,'" I explained. "But it was too hard. Carol wanted to be an Elevator!—Carol says an Elevator is like quick-silver in a giant thermometer that's gone mad!—He wanted to be the motion it makes when the Elevator's going down and the floor's coming up! But it made me feel queer in my stomach!"
"We planned to make the next one about 'Motions,'" I explained. "But it was too difficult. Carol wanted to be an Elevator!—Carol says an Elevator is like quicksilver in a giant thermometer that's gone crazy!—He wanted to be the movement it makes when the Elevator's going down and the floor's coming up! But it made me feel weird in my stomach!"
"Merciful Heavens!" said my Father. "What kind of a family have I drawn?—My Wife wants to be a 'Storm at Sea' and my Son aspires to feel like an 'Elevator Gone Mad'!"
"Good heavens!" said my dad. "What kind of family have I gotten? My wife wants to be a 'Storm at Sea,' and my son wants to feel like an 'Elevator Gone Crazy'!"
Carol looked at my Mother. My Mother looked at Carol. They laughed their eyes together.[Pg 224]
Carol looked at my mom. My mom looked at Carol. They shared a laugh with their eyes.[Pg 224]
"So we made it 'Money' and 'Memory' instead," I explained.
"So we changed it to 'Money' and 'Memory' instead," I explained.
"Made what 'Money' and 'Memory' instead?" said my Father.
"Created what 'Money' and 'Memory' instead?" my Dad asked.
"The next two questions," I explained.
"The next two questions," I explained.
"O—h," said my Mother.
"O—h," said my mom.
"Fire away!" said my Father.
"Go ahead!" said my Father.
"Question No. 4," I said. "Which do you like best? Times? or Things?"
"Question No. 4," I said. "Which do you prefer? Times? or Things?"
"Times or Things?" said my Father. "Whatever in the world do you mean?" His eyebrows looked pretty puzzled.
"Times or Things?" my dad said. "What do you mean by that?" His eyebrows looked really confused.
"Why, we mean," I explained, "if somebody gave you five whole dollars for your birthday—how would you rather spend it?—What would you get most fun out of, we mean?—Times? Or Things?—Would you be most apt to spend it for Rabbits, we mean? Or going to a Fair?"
"Well, what we're saying is," I explained, "if someone gave you five whole dollars for your birthday—how would you prefer to spend it?—What would bring you the most enjoyment?—Experiences? Or Stuff?—Would you be more likely to spend it on rabbits, or going to a fair?"
"Oh," said my Father, "I see!—Times or Things?—Times—or things?—Why Things!" he decided almost at once. "Things of course!—When[Pg 225] you buy a Thing you've got something really tangible for your money! Something definite! Something really to show!—'Rabbits' I admit would probably not be my choice.—But a book, now! A set of garden tools?—A pair of rubber boots even?"
"Oh," my dad said, "I get it!—Times or things?—Times—or things?—Definitely things!" he concluded almost immediately. "Things, of course!—When[Pg 225] you buy a thing, you've got something real to show for your money! Something concrete! Something you can actually display!—I admit 'rabbits' probably wouldn’t be my first pick.—But a book, now! A set of gardening tools?—Even a pair of rubber boots?"
"N—o," said my Mother very softly, "I'm almost sure I'd rather 'go to the Fair'!—'Times' or 'Things'?—Yes I'm perfectly positive," she cried out, "that Times give me more pleasure than Things do!—Now that I think of it I can see quite plainly that always—always I've preferred to spend my money 'going to the Fair'!"
"N—o," my mom said softly, "I think I’d rather 'go to the Fair'!—'Times' or 'Things'?—Yes, I’m sure," she exclaimed, "that Times bring me more joy than Things do!—Now that I think about it, I can clearly see that I've always preferred to spend my money 'going to the Fair'!"
"Yes, but how foolish," said my Father. "When the Fair's over it's over!—Nothing left to show for it but just a memory."
"Yes, but how silly," my dad said. "When the fair is over, it’s over!—Nothing to show for it except a memory."
My Mother laughed right out loud. It was the prettiest laugh.
My mother laughed out loud. It was the most beautiful laugh.
"Now that's where you're mistaken!" she laughed. "When the Fair's what you call 'over,'—that's the time it's really just begun!—Books[Pg 226] get lost—or puppies chew them! Garden tools rust! Even the best rubber boots in the world get the most awful holes poked through their toes!—But a Happy Memory?—A Happy Memory—?" She jumped up suddenly and crept into my Father's arms.
"That's where you're wrong!" she laughed. "When the Fair is what you call 'over,'—that’s when it’s really just begun!—Books[Pg 226] get lost—or puppies chew them! Garden tools rust! Even the best rubber boots in the world end up with the worst holes in their toes!—But a Happy Memory?—A Happy Memory—?" She suddenly jumped up and cuddled into my Father's arms.
My Father stroked her hair. And stroked it.
My dad ran his fingers through her hair. And kept doing it.
Carol kicked me in the shins.
Carol kicked me in the shins.
"There's only one more question!" I cried out pretty loud.
"There's only one more question!" I shouted.
"What is it?" said my Mother. It sounded pretty mumbly through my Father's shoulder.
"What is it?" my mom asked. It came out pretty muffled through my dad's shoulder.
"Oh this one is very important," I said. "It's about colors."
"Oh, this one is really important," I said. "It's about colors."
"Colors?" said my Father. He didn't seem to care nearly as much as you'd have thought he would.
"Colors?" my dad said. He didn't seem to care as much as you'd expect.
"C—Colors," mumbled my Mother.
"C—Colors," my mom mumbled.
"Somewhere in a book," I explained, "we read about a man who wanted his memory[Pg 227] 'kept green?'—Why green? Why not pink?—Why not blue?—Or even red with a cunning little white line in it?"
"Somewhere in a book," I explained, "we read about a guy who wanted his memory[Pg 227] 'kept green?'—Why green? Why not pink?—Why not blue?—Or even red with a clever little white line in it?"
"Eh?" said my Father.
"Huh?" said my Father.
"If you were going away," I explained.
"If you were leaving," I explained.
My Mother's hands clutched at his coat. She gave a queer little shiver. "Oh not—'away'!" she protested.
My mother's hands grabbed his coat. She gave a strange little shiver. "Oh no—not 'away'!" she protested.
"For ever and ever," I explained.
"For always," I explained.
My Mother's face came peering out from the shadow of my Father's shoulder. She started to laugh. And made a little sob instead. "Oh not for——ever——and ever?" she said.
My mother's face peeked out from the shadow of my father's shoulder. She started to laugh but ended up letting out a small sob instead. "Oh, not for—ever—and ever?" she said.
We all sat and looked at each other. I felt awful queer in my stomach.
We all sat and looked at each other. I felt really uneasy in my stomach.
Carol kicked me in the shins. He wrote something quick on a piece of paper and shoved it across the table at me.
Carol kicked me in the shins. He scribbled something quickly on a piece of paper and pushed it across the table to me.
"China was the place that Carol meant!" I explained. "Oh he didn't mean—at all—what you thought he meant!—If you were[Pg 228] going away to—to China—for ever and ever—and ever—and gave your Best Friend a whole lot of money like twenty-five dollars to remember you by—what color do you hope he'd keep your memory?"
"China was where Carol was referring to!" I clarified. "Oh, he didn’t mean—at all—what you think he meant!—If you were[Pg 228] leaving to—toChina—forever—and gave your Best Friend a bunch of money, like twenty-five dollars, to remember you by—what color do you hope he’d keep your memory?"
"Oh—yes—why of course!" said my Father quite quickly. "It's a jolly one after all, isn't it!—Color—Color?—Let me see!—For twenty-five dollars you say? Yes Yes!—The very thing! Yellow of course! I hope my Best Friend would have wit enough to buy a Lamp!—Nothing fancy you know but something absolutely reliable.—Daytimes to be sure your memory wouldn't be much use to him. But nights—the time everybody needs everybody the most,—Nights I say,—looking back from—from China, was it that you designated?—Nights it would be rather pleasant I think to feel that one lived on and on—as a yellow glow in his friend's life."
"Oh—yeah—of course!" my dad said quickly. "It's actually a fun idea, isn't it!—Color—Color?—Let me think!—You said twenty-five dollars? Yes, yes!—That's perfect! Yellow, of course! I hope my best friend has enough sense to buy a Lamp!—Nothing fancy, just something totally reliable.—During the day, your memory wouldn’t help him much. But at night—the time when everyone needs everyone the most,—Nights, I say,—looking back from—from China, was that where you meant?—Nights it would be kind of nice, I think, to feel like you’re living on and on—as a yellow glow in his life."
"How about it, Ruthy?" he asked.
"How about it, Ruthy?" he asked.
"Oh that's all right," I admitted. "But if I gave my Best Friend twenty-five dollars to remember me by—I hope he'd buy a Blueberry Bush!—Just think of all the colors it would keep your memory!—White in blossom-time! And blue in fruit-season! And red as blood all the Autumn! With brown rabbits hopping through you!—And speckled birds laying—goodness knows what colored eggs! And—"
"Oh, that's fine," I admitted. "But if I gave my Best Friend twenty-five dollars to remember me by—I hope he’d buy a Blueberry Bush! Just imagine all the colors it would hold in my memory!—White when it blossoms! And blue when it bears fruit! And red as blood all Autumn! With brown rabbits hopping through it!—And speckled birds laying—who knows what colored eggs! And—"
Somebody banged the front door. Somebody scuffled on the threshold. Somebody shouted "Hello—Hello—Hello—!" It was the Old Doctor.
Somebody knocked on the front door. Someone shuffled on the doorstep. Someone yelled, "Hello—Hello—Hello—!" It was the Old Doctor.
We ran to see if he had peppermints in his pocket.
We dashed over to check if he had peppermints in his pocket.
He had!
He did!
After the Old Doctor had given us all the peppermints he thought we ought to have—and seven more besides, he sat down in the big cretonne chair by the window, and fanned[Pg 230] his neck with a newspaper. He seemed to be pretty mad at the people who had made his collars.
After the Old Doctor had given us all the peppermints he thought we should have—and seven more as well—he sat down in the big patterned chair by the window and fanned his neck with a newspaper. He seemed pretty annoyed at the people who had made his collars.
"W-hew!" he said. "The man who invented a 21-inch collar ought to be forced to suck boiling starch through the neck of a Blueing Bottle!"
"Whew!" he said. "The person who came up with a 21-inch collar should be made to suck boiling starch through the neck of a Blueing Bottle!"
We didn't see just why.
We didn't understand why.
The Old Doctor said he didn't care to discuss it.
The Old Doctor said he didn't want to talk about it.
"Any news to-day?" asked my Father.
"Any news today?" my father asked.
"News enough!" said the Old Doctor. He seemed pretty mad about that too!
"That's plenty of news!" said the Old Doctor. He seemed really angry about that too!
"Such as what?" asked my Father.
"Like what?" my dad asked.
"There's a Prince and Princess in town!" said the Old Doctor. "Or a Duch and Duchess!—Or a Fool and Fooless!—I don't care what you call 'em!—They've got some sort of a claim on the old Dun Voolees estate. Brook,—meadow,—blueberry——hillside,—popple grove,—everything! They've come way from Austria to prove it! Going to[Pg 231] build a Tannery! Or a Fertilizer Factory! Or some other equally odoriferous industry! Fill the town with foreign laborers!—String a line of lowsy shacks clear from the Blacksmith Shop to the river!—Hope they choke!"
"There's a Prince and Princess in town!" said the Old Doctor. "Or a Duke and Duchess!—Or a Fool and Fooless!—I don't care what you call them!—They've got some kind of claim on the old Dun Voolees estate. Brook,—meadow,—blueberry——hillside,—popple grove,—everything! They’ve come all the way from Austria to prove it! They’re going to[Pg 231] build a Tannery! Or a Fertilizer Factory! Or some other equally smelly industry! Fill the town with foreign workers!—String a line of shabby shacks all the way from the Blacksmith Shop to the river!—Hope they choke!"
"Oh my dear—my dear!" said my Mother.
"Oh my dear—my dear!" my mom said.
The Old Doctor looked a little funny.
The Old Doctor looked a bit silly.
"Oh I admit it's worth something," he said, "to have you call me your 'dear.'—But I'm mad I tell you clear through. And when you've got as much 'through' to you as I have, that's some mad!—W-hew!" he said. "When I think of our village,—our precious, clean, decent, simple little All-American village—turned into a cheap—racketty—crowd-you-off-the-sidewalk Saturday Night Hell Hole...?"
"Oh, I admit it's worth something," he said, "to have you call me your 'dear.' But I'm completely mad, I tell you. And when you have as much 'madness' in you as I do, that's a lot of crazy! Whew!" he said. "When I think of our village—our precious, clean, decent, simple All-American village—turned into a cheap, noisy, shove-you-off-the-sidewalk Saturday Night Hell Hole...?"
"Oh—Oh—OH!" cried my Mother.
"Oh—Oh—OH!" yelled my mom.
"Quick! Get him some raspberry shrub," cried my Father.
"Quick! Get him some raspberry soda," shouted my Dad.
"Maybe he'd like to play the Children's new Game!" cried my Mother.[Pg 232]
"Maybe he’d want to try the new game for kids!" yelled my mom.[Pg 232]
"It isn't a Game," I explained. "It's a Book!"
"It’s not a game," I explained. "It’s a book!"
My Mother ran to get the Raspberry Shrub. She brought a whole pitcher. It tinkled with ice. It sounded nice. When the Old Doctor had drunken it he seemed cooled quite a little. He put the glass down on the table. He saw the Book. He looked surprised.
My mom ran to grab the Raspberry Shrub. She brought back a full pitcher. It jingled with ice. It sounded pleasant. After the old doctor drank it, he seemed to feel a bit cooler. He set the glass down on the table. He noticed the book and looked surprised.
"Lanos—Bryant? Accounts?" he read. He looked at the date. He looked at my Father. "What you trying to do, Man?" he said. "Reconstruct a financial picture of our village as it was a generation ago? Or trace your son Carol's very palpable distaste for a brush, back to his grandfather's somewhat avid devotion to pork chops?" He picked up the book. He opened the first pages. He read the names written at the tops of the pages. Some of the names were pretty faded.—"Alden, Hoppin, Weymoth, Dun Vorlees," he read. He put on his glasses. He[Pg 233] scrunched his eyes. He grunted his throat. "W-hew!" he said. "A hundred pounds of beans in one month?—Is it any wonder that young Alden ran away to sea—and sunk clear to the bottom in his first shipwreck?—'Roast Beef'?—'Roast Beef'?—'Malt and Hops'?—'Malt and Hops'?—'Roast Beef'?—'Malt and Hops'?—Is that where Old Man Weymoth got his rheumatism?—And Young Weymoth—his blood pressure?—Dun Vorlees?—Dun Vorlees?—What? No meat at all from November to February?—No fruit?—Only three pounds of sugar?—Great Gastronomics! Back of all that arrogance,—that insulting aloofness,—was real Hunger gnawing at the Dun Vorlees vitals?—Was that the reason why—?—Merciful Heavens!" cried the Old Doctor. "This book is worth twenty dollars to me—this very minute in my Practice! The light it sheds on the Village Stomach,—the Village Nerves,—the—"
"Lanos—Bryant? Accounts?" he read. He checked the date. He looked at my dad. "What are you trying to do, man?" he said. "Reconstruct a financial picture of our village from a generation ago? Or trace your son Carol's clear dislike for a brush back to his grandfather's somewhat intense love for pork chops?" He picked up the book. He opened the first pages. He read the names written at the tops of the pages. Some of the names were pretty faded. "Alden, Hoppin, Weymoth, Dun Vorlees," he read. He put on his glasses. He scrunched his eyes. He cleared his throat. "Whew!" he said. "A hundred pounds of beans in one month? Is it any wonder that young Alden ran away to sea—and sank to the bottom in his first shipwreck? 'Roast Beef'? 'Roast Beef'? 'Malt and Hops'? 'Malt and Hops'? 'Roast Beef'? 'Malt and Hops'? Is that where Old Man Weymoth got his rheumatism? And Young Weymoth—his blood pressure? Dun Vorlees? Dun Vorlees? What? No meat at all from November to February? No fruit? Only three pounds of sugar? Great Gastronomics! Behind all that arrogance,—that insulting aloofness,—was real Hunger gnawing at the Dun Vorlees' insides? Was that the reason why—?—Merciful Heavens!" cried the Old Doctor. "This book is worth twenty dollars to me—right now in my practice! The insight it provides on the Village Stomach,—the Village Nerves,—the—"
"Please, Sir," I said. "The Book is Carol's.[Pg 234] Mr. Lanos Bryant gave it to him.—And we're planning to get a great deal more than twenty dollars for it when we sell it!"
"Please, Sir," I said. "The Book belongs to Carol.[Pg 234] Mr. Lanos Bryant gave it to him.—And we're planning to get a lot more than twenty dollars for it when we sell it!"
"Eh?" said the Old Doctor. "What?"
"Huh?" said the Old Doctor. "What?"
He jerked round in his chair and glared at Carol.
He spun around in his chair and glared at Carol.
"This I'll have you understand, my Young Man," he said, "is in the cause of Science!"
"This I want you to understand, my young man," he said, "is for the sake of Science!"
Carol looked pretty nervous. He began to smooth his hair as well as he could without bristles. It didn't smooth much.
Carol looked pretty nervous. He started to fix his hair as best as he could without a brush. It didn't smooth out much.
"Oh please, Sir," I explained, "people who write books never have smooth hair!"
"Oh please, Sir," I said, "people who write books never have smooth hair!"
"Who's talking about writing books?" roared the Old Doctor.
"Who’s talking about writing books?" shouted the Old Doctor.
"Please, Sir, we're trying to talk about it," I said. My voice sounded pretty little. "It's the back part of the book that's the important part," I explained. "It's the back part of the book that we're writing!"
"Please, Sir, we're trying to talk about it," I said. My voice sounded really small. "It's the back part of the book that's important," I explained. "It's the back part of the book that we're writing!"
He slammed the book together. He stood up and began to look for his hat.
He slammed the book shut. He stood up and started looking for his hat.
There didn't seem a moment to lose if we we're going to get him into our book. I ran and caught him by the hand. Even if his face was busy his hands always had time to be friends with Carol and me.
There didn't seem to be a moment to waste if we were going to get him into our book. I ran and grabbed his hand. Even if his face was preoccupied, his hands always had time to be friendly with Carol and me.
"Oh please—please—please," I besought him. "If you were a Beautiful Smell instead of a Beautiful Doctor,—what Beautiful Smell in the whole wide world would you choose to be?"
"Oh please—please—please," I begged him. "If you were a Beautiful Scent instead of a Beautiful Doctor, what Beautiful Scent in the whole wide world would you choose to be?"
"What?" said the old Doctor. "What? W-h-a-t?" he kept saying over and over. He looked at my Father. He looked at my Mother. My Mother told him about our Book. He made a loud Guffaw. "Guffaw" I think is the noise he made. Carol is sure that it is! He looked at Carol. He looked at me. He began to Guffaw all over again.
"What?" said the old Doctor. "What? W-h-a-t?" he kept repeating over and over. He looked at my dad. He looked at my mom. My mom told him about our Book. He let out a loud laugh. "Laugh" I think is the sound he made. Carol is sure that it is! He looked at Carol. He looked at me. He started laughing all over again.
"Well really, Young Authorettes," he said, "I hardly know how to answer you or how[Pg 236] to choose. Ether or Chloroform and general Disinfectants being the most familiar savors of my daily life,—the only savors indeed that I ever expect to suggest to anybody—" He looked out the window. There was an apple-blossom tree. It made the window look very full of June. His collar seemed to hurt him. It made him pretty serious. It made his voice all solemn.
"Well, really, Young Authorettes," he said, "I hardly know how to answer you or how[Pg 236] to choose. Ether or Chloroform and general disinfectants are the most familiar scents in my daily life—the only scents, in fact, that I ever expect to recommend to anyone—" He looked out the window. There was an apple blossom tree. It made the window look very full of June. His collar seemed to pinch him. It made him quite serious. It turned his voice all solemn.
"But I'll tell you, Kiddies," he said quite suddenly. "I'll tell you the Sweetest Thing that I ever smelled in my life!—It was the first Summer I was back from College.—I was out on the Common playing ball. Somebody brought me word that my Father was dead.—I didn't go home.—I slunk off instead to my favorite trout-brook—and sat down under a big white birch tree—and cursed!—I was very bitter. I needed my Father very much that year. And my step-mother was a harsh woman.—Late that night when I got home,—ugly with sorrow,—I found that I'd[Pg 237] left my Catcher's glove. It happened to be one that my Father had given me.—With matches and a tin-can lantern I fumbled my way back to the brook. The old glove lay palm-upward in the moss and leaves. Somebody had filled the palm with wild violets.—I put my face down in it—like a kid—and bawled my heart out.—It was little Annie Dun Vorlees it seemed who had put the violets there. Trailed me clear from the Ball Field. Little kid too. Only fourteen years to my twenty. Why her Mother wouldn't even let me come to the house. Had made Annie promise even not to speak to me.—But when Trouble hit me, little Annie—?" The Old Doctor frowned his eyebrows. "Words!" he said. "It's words after all that have the real fragrance to 'em!—Now take that word 'Loyalty' for instance. I can't even see it in a Newspaper without—" He put back his head suddenly. He gave a queer little chuckle. "Sounds funny, doesn't[Pg 238] it, Kiddies," he laughed, "to say that the sweetest thing you ever smelled in your life was an old baseball glove thrown down on the mossy bank of a brook?"
"But I'll tell you, kids," he said suddenly. "I'll tell you the sweetest thing I ever smelled in my life! It was the first summer I was back from college. I was out on the common playing ball. Someone told me that my father had died. I didn’t go home. Instead, I snuck off to my favorite trout brook and sat down under a big white birch tree and cursed! I was really bitter. I needed my father a lot that year. And my stepmother was a tough woman. Late that night when I got home, feeling miserable, I realized I'd[Pg 237] left my catcher's glove. It was actually one that my father had given me. With matches and a tin can lantern, I stumbled my way back to the brook. The old glove was lying palm-up in the moss and leaves. Someone had filled the palm with wild violets. I put my face down in it—like a kid—and cried my heart out. It seemed to be little Annie Dun Vorlees who had put the violets there. She followed me all the way from the ball field. Just a kid too. Only fourteen to my twenty. Her mother wouldn’t even let me come to the house. She even made Annie promise not to talk to me. But when trouble hit me, little Annie—?" The old doctor frowned his eyebrows. "Words!" he said. "It’s words after all that have the real fragrance to them! Now take that word 'loyalty' for instance. I can’t even see it in a newspaper without—” He suddenly tilted his head back and gave a strange little chuckle. "Sounds funny, doesn’t[Pg 238] it, kids," he laughed, "to say that the sweetest thing you ever smelled in your life was an old baseball glove left on the mossy bank of a brook?"
I looked at Carol. Carol looked at me. His eyes were popping. We ran to the Book. We snatched it open. It bumped our heads. We pointed to the writing. I read it out loud.
I stared at Carol. Carol stared back at me. His eyes were wide. We rushed to the Book. We yanked it open. It hit our heads. We pointed at the words. I read them out loud.
The most beautiful smell in the world is the smell of an old tattered baseball glove that's been lying in the damp grass—by the side of a brook—in June Time.
The most amazing smell in the world is the scent of an old, worn baseball glove that's been sitting in the wet grass—by the edge of a stream—in June.
My Mother looked funny.
My mom looked funny.
"Good Gracious," she said. "Are my children developing 'Second Sight'?—First it was the 'Field of Tulips' already written down as their Father's choice before he could even get the words out of his mouth!—And now, hours before the Old Doctor ever even dreamed of the Book's existence they've got his distinctly unique taste in perfumes all—"[Pg 239]
"Goodness," she said. "Are my kids developing 'Second Sight'? First, it was the 'Field of Tulips,' which they already noted down as their dad's choice before he could even say it! And now, hours before the Old Doctor even thought of the Book's existence, they've got his totally unique taste in perfumes all—"[Pg 239]
"But this isn't the Old Doctor!" I cried out. "She wrote it herself. It's the Lady down at the hotel. It's the—the Empress that the Old Doctor was talking about!"
"But this isn't the Old Doctor!" I shouted. "She wrote it herself. It's the lady from the hotel. It's the—the Empress that the Old Doctor was talking about!"
"The—Empress?" gasped the Old Doctor.
"The—Empress?" gasped the Old Doc.
"Well maybe you said 'Princess,'" I admitted. "It was some one from Austria anyway—come to fuss about the old Dun Vorlees place! You said it was! You said that's who it was!—It's the only Strange Lady in the village!"
"Well, maybe you called her 'Princess,'" I admitted. "It was someone from Austria, anyway—here to fuss about the old Dun Vorlees place! You said it was! You said that's who it was!—It’s the only Strange Lady in the village!"
"What?" gasped the Old Doctor. "What?" He looked at the book. He read the Lady's writing. Anybody could have seen that it wasn't our writing. It was too dressy. He put on his glasses. He read it again.
"What?" gasped the Old Doctor. "What?" He looked at the book. He read the Lady's writing. Anyone could have seen that it wasn't our writing. It was too fancy. He put on his glasses. He read it again.
—the smell of an old tattered baseball glove—that's been lying in the damp grass—side of a brook—June Time.
—the scent of a worn-out baseball glove—that's been sitting in the wet grass—next to a stream—June time.
"Good Lord!" he cried out. "Good Lord!"—He couldn't seem to swallow through his collar. "Not anyone else!" he[Pg 240] gasped. "In all the world!—There couldn't possibly be anyone else! It must—It must be little Annie Dun Vorlees herself!"
"Good Lord!" he exclaimed. "Good Lord!"—He felt like he couldn't breathe through his collar. "Not anyone else!" he[Pg 240] gasped. "In the whole world!—There can't possibly be anyone else! It has to—It has to be little Annie Dun Vorlees herself!"
He rushed to the window. There was a grocery boy driving by.
He hurried to the window. A delivery kid was riding by.
"Hi! Hi there!" he called out. "Don't mind anybody's orders just now! Take me quick to the Hotel!—It's an Emergency I tell you! She may be gone before I get there!"
"Hey! Over here!" he shouted. "Forget about anyone else's orders for now! Get me to the hotel fast! It's an emergency, I'm telling you! She might be gone by the time I get there!"
We sat down on the sofa and curled up our legs. Our legs felt queer.
We sat down on the couch and tucked our legs up. Our legs felt strange.
My Mother and Father sat down on the other sofa. They looked queer all over. They began to talk about the Village. It wasn't exactly the Village that we knew. It was as though they talked about the Village when it was a child. They talked about when the Bridge was first built. They talked about the Spring when the Big Freshet swept the meadow. They talked about the funny color of Jason the Blacksmith's first long trousers.[Pg 241] They talked about a tiny mottled Fawn that they had caught once with their own hands at a Sunday School picnic in the Arbutus Woods. They talked about the choir rehearsals in the old white church. They talked about my Father's Graduation Essay in the High School. It was like History that was sweet instead of just true. It made you feel a little lonely in your throat. Our Tame Coon came and curled up on our legs. It made our legs feel better. The clock struck nine. Our Father and Mother forgot all about us. Pretty soon we forgot all about ourselves. When we woke up the Old Doctor had come back. He was standing by the table in the lamplight talking to my Father and my Mother.
My mom and dad settled down on the other couch. They looked a bit odd all over. They started talking about the Village. It wasn’t really the Village we knew. It was like they were reminiscing about the Village when it was a child. They talked about when the Bridge was first built. They recalled the Spring when the Big Freshet swept across the meadow. They mentioned the funny color of Jason the Blacksmith's first long pants.[Pg 241] They reminisced about a tiny mottled Fawn they had caught once with their own hands at a Sunday School picnic in the Arbutus Woods. They discussed the choir rehearsals in the old white church. They talked about my dad's Graduation Essay in High School. It felt like history that was sweet instead of just factual. It gave you a little ache of loneliness in your throat. Our Tame Coon came and curled up on our legs. It made our legs feel better. The clock struck nine. Our parents completely forgot about us. Soon enough, we forgot about ourselves too. When we finally woke up, the Old Doctor had returned. He was standing by the table in the lamplight, talking to my mom and dad.
He looked just the same—only different—like a portrait in a newspaper that somebody had tried to copy. All around the inner edges of his bigness it was as though someone[Pg 242] had sketched the outline of a slimmer man.—It looked nice.
He looked exactly the same—just different—like a newspaper portrait that someone had attempted to replicate. All around the inner edges of his size, it was like someone[Pg 242] had drawn the outline of a slimmer guy.—It looked good.
"Well it was little Annie Dun Vorlees!" he said.
"Well, it was little Annie Dun Vorlees!" he said.
"Was it indeed?" said my Father.
"Seriously?" said my dad.
"Hasn't changed a mite!" said the Old Doctor. "Not a mite!—Oh of course she's wearing silks now instead of gingham.—And her hair?—Well perhaps it's just a little bit gray but——"
"Hasn't changed a bit!" said the Old Doctor. "Not a bit!—Oh, of course she's wearing silks now instead of gingham.—And her hair?—Well, maybe it's just a little bit gray, but——"
"Gray hair's very pretty," said my Mother.
"Gray hair is really pretty," said my mom.
"Humph!" said the Old Doctor. "I expected of course that she'd think me changed a good deal. I've grown stout. 'Healthy' she called it.—She thought I looked 'very healthy'!" The Old Doctor shifted his feet. He twitched at a newspaper on the table. "That Austrian gentlemen with her isn't her Husband," he said. "She's a—she's a widow now.—It's her Husband's brother."
"Humph!" said the Old Doctor. "I figured she’d think I’ve changed a lot. I’ve put on some weight. She called it 'healthy.' —She thought I looked 'very healthy'!" The Old Doctor shuffled his feet. He tugged at a newspaper on the table. "That Austrian guy with her isn’t her husband," he said. "She’s a—she’s a widow now. —It’s her husband’s brother."
"Really?" said my Father.
"Seriously?" said my Dad.
"Oh Thunder!" said the Old Doctor. "I[Pg 243] guess perhaps I spoke a little bit hastily when I was here before—about their ruining the Village!—I've been talking a bit with Annie and—" His face turned quite red suddenly. He laughed a little. "There won't be any changes made at present in the old Dun Vorlees place—I imagine.—Not at present anyhow."
"Oh Thunder!" said the Old Doctor. "I[Pg 243] guess I might have spoken a bit too quickly when I was here before—about them ruining the Village!—I've been chatting a bit with Annie and—" His face turned quite red suddenly. He laughed a little. "There won't be any changes made right now at the old Dun Vorlees place—I imagine.—Not right now anyway."
He looked over at us. We scrunched our eyes perfectly tight.
He glanced at us. We squeezed our eyes shut.
"Asleep," he said. He picked up our Book. He tucked it under his arm. He looked at my Father and Mother. "It's quite time," he said, "that you started a Bank Account for these children's college education.—It costs a great deal to send children to college nowadays. Carol will surely want a lot of baseball bats.—And girls I know are forever needing bonnets!" He took two Big Gold Pieces from his pocket and put them down on the table where our Book had been. They looked very shining.[Pg 244]
"Asleep," he said. He picked up our Book and tucked it under his arm. He looked at my mom and dad. "It's about time," he said, "that you started a bank account for these kids' college education. It costs a lot to send kids to college these days. Carol will definitely want a ton of baseball bats. And girls I know are always needing bonnets!" He took two big gold coins from his pocket and set them down on the table where our Book had been. They looked really shiny.[Pg 244]
My Father gave a little gasp. He jumped up! He started to argue!
My dad let out a small gasp. He jumped up! He started to argue!
My Mother hushed him with her hand. "S—sh——not to-night!" she whispered. "Not to-night!"
My mom quieted him with her hand. "Ssh— not tonight!" she whispered. "Not tonight!"
She looked at the Old Doctor. She looked at our Book all hugged up tight under his arm. Her eyes looked as though they were going to cry. But her mouth looked as though it was going to laugh.
She looked at the Old Doctor. She looked at our Book all tucked under his arm. Her eyes seemed like they were about to cry. But her mouth looked like it was about to laugh.
"Oh of course—if it's in the Cause of Science," she said. "If it's in the Cause of Science."
"Oh of course—if it's for the sake of Science," she said. "If it's for the sake of Science."
THE LITTLE DOG WHO COULDN'T SLEEP
THE LITTLE DOG WHO COULDN'T SLEEP
It was our Uncle Peter who sent us the little piece of paper.
It was our Uncle Peter who sent us the small piece of paper.
It was a piece of paper torn out of that part of a newspaper where people tell what they want if they've got money enough to pay for it.
It was a piece of paper ripped from the section of a newspaper where people share what they want if they've got enough money to buy it.
This is what it said:
Please provide the text you'd like me to modernize.
"WANTED a little dog who can't sleep to be night companion for a little boy who can't sleep. Will pay fifty dollars."
"WANTED: a small dog who can’t sleep to be a nighttime companion for a little boy who can’t sleep. Will pay fifty dollars."
Our Uncle Peter sent it to my Father and told him to give it to us.
Our Uncle Peter sent it to my dad and told him to give it to us.
"Your children know so many dogs," he said.
"Your kids know so many dogs," he said.
"Not—fifty dollars' worth," said my Father. He said it with points in his eyes.[Pg 248]
"Not—fifty dollars' worth," my Father said. He said it with a look in his eyes.[Pg 248]
"Oh—I'm not so sure," said my Mother. She said it with just a little smile in her voice.
"Oh—I'm not so sure," said my mom. She said it with just a hint of a smile in her voice.
It was my Mother who gave us the big sheet of brown paper to make our sign. My brother Carol mixed the paint. I mixed the letters. It was a nice sign. We nailed it on the barn where everybody who went by could see it. It said:
It was my mom who gave us the big sheet of brown paper to make our sign. My brother Carol mixed the paint. I mixed the letters. It was a nice sign. We nailed it on the barn where everyone who passed by could see it. It said:
Dog Dealers who
Can't Sleep.
Nobody dealt with us. We were pretty discouraged.
Nobody reached out to us. We felt pretty discouraged.
We asked the Grocer if he had a little dog who couldn't sleep. We asked the Postman. We asked the Butcher. They hadn't.
We asked the Grocer if he had a little dog that couldn't sleep. We asked the Postman. We asked the Butcher. They didn't.
We asked the old whiskery man who came every Spring to buy old bottles and papers. HE HAD!
We asked the old man with the beard who came every spring to buy old bottles and paper. HE HAD!
He brought the dog on a dungeon chain. He said if we'd give him fifty cents for the[Pg 249] dungeon chain we could have the dog for nothing.
He brought the dog on a dungeon chain. He said if we gave him fifty cents for the[Pg 249] dungeon chain, we could have the dog for free.
It seemed like a very good bargain.
It seemed like a really great deal.
Our Father lent us the fifty cents.
Our Dad lent us fifty cents.
He was a nice dog. We named him Tiger Lily. His hair was red and smooth as Sunday all except his paws and ears. His paws and ears were sort of rumpled. His eyes were gold and very sweet like keepsakes you must never spend. He had a sad tail. He was a setter dog. He was meant to hunt. But he couldn't hunt because he was so shy. It was guns that he was so shy about.
He was a sweet dog. We named him Tiger Lily. His fur was red and smooth like a Sunday morning, except for his paws and ears. His paws and ears were a bit rumpled. His eyes were golden and very gentle, like treasured keepsakes you should never use up. He had a sad-looking tail. He was a setter dog. He was supposed to hunt. But he couldn't hunt because he was really shy. It was the guns that made him so shy.
Our Mother invited us to wash him. He washed very nicely.
Our mom asked us to wash him. He cleaned up really well.
We wrote our triumph to our Uncle Peter and asked him to send us the fifty dollars.
We wrote to our Uncle Peter about our victory and asked him to send us the fifty dollars.
Our Uncle Peter came instead in an automobile and took Tiger Lily and Carol and me to the city.
Our Uncle Peter came in a car and took Tiger Lily, Carol, and me to the city.
"Of course he isn't exactly a 'little dog,'"[Pg 250] we admitted. "But at least he's a dog! And at least he 'can't sleep'!"
"Of course he isn't really a 'little dog,'" [Pg 250] we admitted. "But at least he's a dog! And at least he 'can't sleep'!"
"Well—I wonder," said our Uncle Peter. He seemed very pleased to wonder about it. He twisted his head on one side and looked at Tiger Lily. "What do you mean,—'doesn't sleep'?" he said.
"Well—I wonder," said our Uncle Peter. He seemed quite happy to ponder it. He tilted his head to the side and gazed at Tiger Lily. "What do you mean—'doesn't sleep'?" he asked.
Because my brother Carol is dumb and never talks I always have to do the explaining. It was easy to explain about Tiger Lily.
Because my brother Carol is silent and never speaks, I always have to do the explaining. It was easy to explain about Tiger Lily.
"Why when you're in bed and fast asleep," I explained, "he comes and puts his nose in your neck! It feels wet! It's full of sighs and a cool breeze! It makes you jump and want your Mother!—All the rest of the time at night he's roaming! And prowling! And s'ploring!—Up the front stairs and down the back—and up the front and down the back!—Every window he comes to he stops and listens! And listens!—His toe-nails have never been cut!—It sounds lonely!"[Pg 251]
"Why is it that when you're in bed and sound asleep," I said, "he comes and puts his nose in your neck? It feels damp! It's full of sighs and a cool breeze! It makes you jump and want your mom!—The rest of the night, he's wandering around! And creeping! And exploring!—Up the front stairs and down the back—and up the front and down the back!—Every window he reaches, he stops and listens! And listens!—His toenails have never been trimmed!—It sounds lonely!"[Pg 251]
"What does he seem to be listening for?" said our Uncle Peter.
"What does he seem to be listening for?" our Uncle Peter asked.
"Listening for gun-bangs," I explained.
"Listening for gunshots," I explained.
"O—h," said our Uncle Peter.
"O—h," said Uncle Peter.
The city was full of noises like gun-bangs. It made Tiger Lily very nervous. He tried to get under everything. It took us most all the afternoon to get him out.
The city was filled with sounds like loud gunshots. It made Tiger Lily really anxious. He tried to hide under everything. It took us almost the entire afternoon to get him out.
The little boy's name was Dicky. He wasn't at home. "Come again," said the man at the door. We came again about eight o'clock at night. It seemed as late as Christmas Eve and sort of lonely without our Parents or any other presents. We had to climb a lot of stairs. It made Tiger Lily puff a little and look very glad. It made our Uncle Peter puff some too. It made the little boy's Mother puff a good deal. There wasn't any Father. The Mother was all in black about it. Her clothes looked very sorrowful. But her face was just sort of surprised. She had white hands. She carried them all curved up like[Pg 252] pond-lilies. She was pretty. Even if you'd never seen her but once in a train window you'd always have remembered.
The little boy's name was Dicky. He wasn't home. "Come back later," said the man at the door. We returned around eight o'clock at night. It felt as late as Christmas Eve and a bit lonely without our parents or any presents. We had to climb a lot of stairs. It made Tiger Lily puff a little and look very happy. It made our Uncle Peter puff some too. It made the little boy's mom puff quite a bit. There wasn't any dad. The mom was all dressed in black about it. Her clothes looked very sad. But her face was just kind of surprised. She had white hands. She held them all curved up like [Pg 252] pond-lilies. She was pretty. Even if you’d only seen her once in a train window, you’d always remember her.
The little boy's room was very large and full of lights. There were tinkly glass things hanging everywhere. There was a music-box playing. There was a tin railroad train running round and round the room all by itself making a bangy noise. There was a wound-up bird in a toy cage crying "Hi! Hi!" There was a crackling fire. Everything was tinkling or playing or singing or banging or crackling. It sounded busy. You had to talk very loud to make any one hear you.
The little boy's room was huge and full of lights. There were shiny glass decorations hanging everywhere. A music box was playing. A toy train made of tin was running around the room on its own, making a banging noise. A wound-up bird in a toy cage was chirping "Hi! Hi!" There was a crackling fire. Everything was tinkling or playing or singing or banging or crackling. It felt lively. You had to talk really loudly to be heard.
The little boy sat on top of a table in a big bay window looking out at the night. His knees were all cuddled up into the curve of his arms. He had on a little red wrapper and bare legs and fur slippers. He was lots littler than us. He looked cunning.
The little boy sat on a table in a big bay window, gazing out at the night. His knees were curled up into his arms. He wore a little red wrap and no pants, along with furry slippers. He was much younger than us. He looked adorable.
We stamped our feet on the rug.
We stomped our feet on the rug.
When the little boy saw Tiger Lilly he jumped right down from the table and screamed. It was with joy that he screamed. He threw his arms right around Tiger Lily's neck and screamed all over again. Tiger Lily liked it very much.
When the little boy saw Tiger Lily, he jumped down from the table and screamed. It was a joyful scream. He wrapped his arms around Tiger Lily's neck and screamed again. Tiger Lily loved it.
"What makes his paws so fluffy?" he screamed. "How soft his face is! He's got sweet eyes! He's got a sad tail! What's his name? Where did you get him? Is he for me? Do I have to pay money for him? What does he eat? Will he drink coffee?" Just as though he was mad about something he began suddenly to jump up and down and cry tears. "Why doesn't somebody answer me?" he screamed. "Why doesn't somebody tell me?"
"What makes his paws so fluffy?" he yelled. "His face is so soft! He's got such sweet eyes! And a sad tail! What's his name? Where did you get him? Is he for me? Do I have to pay for him? What does he eat? Will he drink coffee?" As if he was really upset about something, he suddenly started jumping up and down and crying. "Why won't someone answer me?" he shouted. "Why won't someone just tell me?"
He got so excited about it that he hit Carol on the nose and blooded him quite a good deal.
He got so excited about it that he hit Carol on the nose and bled quite a bit.
The little boy's mother came running.
The little boy's mom came running.
"Oh hush—hush, Dicky!" she cried. "Don't be in such a hurry! The boy will tell you all[Pg 254] about it in time! Give him time I say! Give him time!"
"Oh hush—hush, Dicky!" she exclaimed. "Don't be so impatient! The boy will explain everything to you[Pg 254] when he's ready! Just give him some time, I insist! Give him time!"
"No he won't," I explained. "My brother Carol never tells anything. He can't."
"No, he won't," I explained. "My brother Carol never shares anything. He can't."
"He's—dumb," said our Uncle Peter.
"He's—dumb," said Uncle Peter.
The Lady looked sort of queer.
The lady looked a bit strange.
"Oh dear—Oh dear—Oh dear," she said. "What a misfortune!"
"Oh no—Oh no—Oh no," she said. "What a disaster!"
Our Uncle Peter sort of sniffed his expression.
Our Uncle Peter kind of wrinkled his nose at his expression.
"Misfortune?" he said. "I call it the greatest blessing in the world!" He glared at little Dicky. "Yes the greatest blessing in the world!" he said. "A child who doesn't babble or fuss!—Or SCREAM!"
"Misfortune?" he said. "I call it the greatest blessing in the world!" He glared at little Dicky. "Yes, the greatest blessing in the world!" he said. "A child who doesn't babble or fuss!—Or SCREAM!"
The Lady looked more and more surprised. She turned to the little boy.
The Lady looked increasingly surprised. She turned to the little boy.
"'Dumb,' Dicky," she said. "You understand? Doesn't speak?"
"'Dumb,' Dicky," she said. "You get it? Doesn’t talk?"
Dicky looked at his Mother. He looked at Carol. A little pucker came and blacked itself between his eyebrows. As though to[Pg 255] toss the pucker away he tossed back his whole head and ran to Tiger Lily and threw his arms around Tiger Lily's neck.
Dicky looked at his mom. He looked at Carol. A little frown appeared between his eyebrows. As if to[Pg 255] shake off the frown, he threw his head back and ran to Tiger Lily, wrapping his arms around her neck.
"Doesn't——EVER?" he said.
"Doesn't—EVER?" he said.
"Doesn't ever—what?" said our Uncle Peter.
"Doesn't ever—what?" Uncle Peter asked.
"Sleep?" said Dicky.
"Sleep?" Dicky asked.
"It was the boy we were talking about," laughed his Mother. "Not the doggie." She tried to put her arms around him.
"It was about the boy we were talking," his mom laughed. "Not the puppy." She tried to wrap her arms around him.
He wiggled right out of them and ran back to Tiger Lily.
He slipped right out of them and ran back to Tiger Lily.
"Is it his adenoids?" he cried. "Have you had his eyes tested? How do you know but what it's his teeth?"
"Is it his adenoids?" he exclaimed. "Have you had his eyes checked? How do you know it isn't his teeth?"
"Whose teeth?" frowned our Uncle Peter.
"Whose teeth?" our Uncle Peter frowned.
"Tiger Lily's!" cried Dicky.
"Tiger Lily's!" shouted Dicky.
His Mother made a sorry sound in her throat.
His mother made a sad sound in her throat.
"Poor Dicky," she said. "He's had most everything done to him!—Tonsils,—spine,—eyes,—ears,—teeth!—Why the last Doctor[Pg 256] I saw was almost positive that the Insomnia was due entirely to—" In the very middle of what it was due to she turned to our Uncle Peter. Her voice got very private. Our Uncle Peter had to stoop his head to hear it. He had a proud head. It didn't stoop very easily.
"Poor Dicky," she said. "He's had just about everything done to him!—Tonsils, spine, eyes, ears, teeth!—The last doctor[Pg 256] I saw was almost certain that the insomnia was completely due to—" In the middle of what it was due to, she turned to our Uncle Peter. Her voice became very private. Uncle Peter had to lean down to hear her. He had a proud head. It didn’t lean down very easily.
"He isn't my own little boy," she whispered.
"He’s not my own little boy," she whispered.
As though his ears were magic the little boy looked up and grinned. His eyes looked naughty.
As if his ears were enchanted, the little boy looked up and smiled. His eyes had a mischievous glint.
"Nobody's own little boy," he said. "Nobody's own little boy!" As though it was a song without any tune he began to sing it. "Nobody's—Nobody's own little boy!"
"Nobody's own little boy," he said. "Nobody's own little boy!" As if it were a song without a melody, he started to sing it. "Nobody's—Nobody's own little boy!"
The Lady tried to stop him. He struck at her with his feet. It made a hurt on her arm. He snatched Tiger Lily by the collar and started for the door.
The Lady tried to stop him. He kicked at her. It injured her arm. He grabbed Tiger Lily by the collar and headed for the door.
"Going to find Cook and get a bone!" he said. He said it like a boast. He slammed the door behind him. It made a rude noise.[Pg 257] He came running back and looked a little sorry, but mostly bashful. He pointed at Tiger Lily. "What—What's HE afraid of?" he said.
"Going to find Cook and get a bone!" he said, sounding all proud of himself. He slammed the door behind him, making a loud noise. [Pg 257] He quickly ran back and looked a bit sorry, but mostly shy. He pointed at Tiger Lily. "What—What's HE scared of?" he said.
"Noises," I explained.
"Sounds," I explained.
"Noises?" cried the little boy. He cried it with a sort of a hoot. It sounded scornful.
"Noises?" yelled the little boy. He shouted it with a sort of hoot. It sounded mocking.
"Oh pshaw!" he said. "There isn't a noise in the world that I'm afraid of! Not thunder! Not guns! Not ANYTHING! Noises are my friends! In the night I take torpedoes and crack 'em on the hearth just to hear them sputter! I've got three tin pans tied on a string! I've got a pop-gun!"
"Oh come on!" he said. "There isn't a sound in the world that I'm scared of! Not thunder! Not gunshots! Not ANYTHING! Noises are my buddies! At night, I take firecrackers and smash them on the fireplace just to hear them fizz! I've got three metal pots tied to a string! I've got a toy gun!"
He ran back to the table to get the gun. It was a nice gun. It was painted bright blue. It looked loud.
He ran back to the table to grab the gun. It was a nice gun. It was painted bright blue. It looked eye-catching.
When Tiger Lily saw it he dove under the bed. It was hard to get him out. The little boy looked very astonished.
When Tiger Lily saw it, he dove under the bed. It was tough to get him out. The little boy looked really surprised.
"It's gun-bangs—specially—that Tiger Lily is afraid of," I explained.[Pg 258]
"It's the gunshots—especially—that Tiger Lily is scared of," I explained.[Pg 258]
"Gun-bangs?" said the little boy.
"Gunshots?" said the little boy.
"That's why he can't ever hunt," I explained.
"That's why he can never go hunting," I explained.
"Hunt?" said the little boy. "Not—ever you mean?" He looked at Tiger Lily. He looked at the blue pop-gun. "Not ever? Ever? Ever?" Way down in his little fur slippers it was as though a little sigh started and shivered itself up-up-up—up till it reached his smile. It made his smile sort of wobbly. "Oh all right!" he said and ran away as fast as he could to hide the blue pop-gun in the bottom of the closet. A velocipede he piled on top of it and two pillows and a Noah's Ark and a stuffed squirrel. When the piling was all done he looked back at our Uncle Peter. It was across one shoulder that he looked back. It made his little smile look twisty as well as wobbly. One of his eyebrows had crooked itself. "It's—It's SILENCES that I'm afraid of," he said.
"Hunt?" said the little boy. "You don't mean—never, right?" He glanced at Tiger Lily. He looked at the blue pop-gun. "Never? Really? Ever?" Deep down in his little fur slippers, it felt like a tiny sigh started and shivered upward—up till it reached his smile. It made his smile look a bit unsteady. "Oh, fine!" he said and dashed away as fast as he could to hide the blue pop-gun at the back of the closet. He stacked a velocipede on top of it, along with two pillows, a Noah's Ark, and a stuffed squirrel. Once he was done piling things up, he looked back at our Uncle Peter. He glanced back over one shoulder. It made his little smile look twisty as well as unsteady. One of his eyebrows had curled up. "It's—It's SILENCES that I'm scared of," he said.
He grabbed Tiger Lily by the collar again[Pg 259] and started for the door. As though he was playing a Game he reached out one finger and tagged everybody as he passed them. Everybody except Carol. When he started to tag Carol he snatched back his finger and screamed instead. "He's a Silence!" he screamed. "He's a Silence!" Still holding tight to Tiger Lily's collar he ran for the stairs.
He grabbed Tiger Lily by the collar again[Pg 259] and headed for the door. As if he was playing a game, he reached out with one finger and tagged everyone as he went by. Everyone except Carol. When he went to tag Carol, he pulled his finger back and screamed instead. "He's a Silence!" he yelled. "He's a Silence!" Still gripping Tiger Lily's collar, he ran for the stairs.
Flop-Flop-Flop his little fur slippers thudded on the hard wood floor. Tick-Tick-Tick Lily's toe-nails clicked along beside him. It sounded cool. And slippery.
Flop-Flop-Flop his little fuzzy slippers thudded on the hard wood floor. Tick-Tick-Tick Lily's toenails clicked along next to him. It sounded cool. And slick.
His Mother wrung her hands. It seemed to be with despair that she wrung them.
His mother wrung her hands. It looked like she was doing it out of despair.
"Yes that's just it," she despaired. "It's 'Silences' that he's afraid of! That's what keeps him awake all night banging at things! That's what worries him so!"
"Yes, that's exactly it," she said in despair. "It's 'Silences' that he's afraid of! That's what keeps him up all night, hitting things! That's what worries him so much!"
"But he gave up the noisy pop-gun," said our Uncle Peter. "Gave it up of his own[Pg 260] accord when he saw that it frightened the dog."
"But he gave up the noisy pop-gun," said our Uncle Peter. "He gave it up on his[Pg 260] own when he realized it scared the dog."
"Why so he did!" said the Mother. She seemed very much surprised. "Why so he did!—Why I don't know that I ever knew him to give up anything before. He's been so delicate—and—and the only child and everything—I'm afraid we've spoiled him."
"Why, yes he did!" said the Mother. She looked really surprised. "Why, I don't think I've ever seen him give up anything before. He's been so fragile—and—and the only child and everything—I'm worried we've spoiled him."
"U—m—m," said our Uncle Peter.
"Um," said our Uncle Peter.
"And all the circumstances of the case are so bewildering," despaired the lady.
"And all the circumstances of the situation are so confusing," the lady sighed.
Like white pond-lilies floating in a black gloom her sad hands curled in her lap. It seemed to be at our Uncle Peter that they curled.
Like white pond lilies floating in black darkness, her sad hands rested in her lap. It seemed like they were directed at our Uncle Peter.
"Are they indeed?" said our Uncle Peter. It was the "circumstances" that he meant.
"Are they really?" said our Uncle Peter. He was referring to the "circumstances."
"Very bewildering," said the Lady. Her cheeks got a little pink. She jumped up and went to the door and listened a minute at the head of the stairs. When she came back to her chair she shut the door behind her.[Pg 261]
"Very confusing," the Lady said, her cheeks flushing slightly. She got up, walked to the door, and listened for a moment at the top of the stairs. When she returned to her chair, she closed the door behind her.[Pg 261]
"As I told you," she whispered, "the little boy isn't my own little boy."
"As I mentioned," she whispered, "the little boy isn't my own."
"So I understood," said our Uncle Peter.
"So I got it," said our Uncle Peter.
"His Mother died when he was born," said the Lady.
"His mother died when he was born," said the lady.
"Very sad indeed," said our Uncle Peter.
"That's really sad," said our Uncle Peter.
"Dicky is six years old," said the Lady. "I married his Father a year and a half ago. His Father was killed in an accident a year ago—"
"Dicky is six years old," said the Lady. "I married his dad a year and a half ago. His dad was killed in an accident a year ago—"
"Oh dear—Oh dear," said our Uncle Peter.
"Oh no—Oh no," said our Uncle Peter.
The Lady began all over again as though it was a lesson.
The Lady started over as if it were a lesson.
"Dicky is six years old," she said. "I married his Father a year and a half ago. He was killed in an accident a year ago. It was all so sudden,—the marriage,—the accident,—everything—!" She began to cry a little. It made her clothes look sorrowfuller and sorrowfuller and her face more and more surprised. Once again she curled up her white pond-lily hands at our Uncle Peter. It was as though she thought that our Uncle Peter[Pg 262] could help her perhaps with some of her surprises. "I—I didn't know his Father very long," she cried. "I never knew his Mother at all!—--It's—It's pretty bewildering," she said, "to be left all alone—for life—with a perfectly, strange little boy—who isn't any relation at all!—All his funny little suits to worry about—and his mumps and his measles—and—and whether he ought to play marbles 'for keeps'—and shall I send him to college or not? And suppose he turns out a burglar or something dreadful like that?—And how in the world am I going to tackle his first love affair? Or his choice of a profession?—Merciful Heavens!—Perhaps he'll want to fly!"
"Dicky is six years old," she said. "I married his dad a year and a half ago. He died in an accident a year ago. It all happened so suddenly—the marriage—the accident—everything!" She started to cry a little. It made her clothes look more and more sorrowful and her face more and more surprised. Again, she curled her white pond-lily hands at our Uncle Peter. It was as if she thought that our Uncle Peter[Pg 262] could help her with some of her surprises. "I—I didn't know his dad for very long," she cried. "I never knew his mom at all!—It's—It's pretty confusing," she said, "to be left all alone—for life—with a completely strange little boy—who isn't any relation at all!—All his funny little outfits to worry about—and his mumps and his measles—and—whether he should play marbles 'for keeps'—and should I send him to college or not? And what if he turns out to be a burglar or something terrible like that?—And how on earth am I supposed to handle his first crush? Or his choice of a career?—Good heavens!—Maybe he'll want to fly!"
"Why—you're just like a Hen," said our Uncle Peter.
"Why—you're just like a hen," said our Uncle Peter.
The Lady didn't like to be called a Hen.
The lady didn't like being called a hen.
It ruffled her all up.
It upset her completely.
Our Uncle Peter had to talk about Base Ball to soothe her.[Pg 263]
Our Uncle Peter had to talk about baseball to calm her down.[Pg 263]
The Lady didn't know anything about Base Ball but it seemed to soothe her considerably to hear about it.
The lady didn't know much about baseball, but it clearly relaxed her to listen to it.
When our Uncle Peter was all through soothing her she looked up as pleasant as pleasant could be.
When our Uncle Peter finished comforting her, she looked up as cheerful as could be.
"WHY?" she said.
"WHY?" she asked.
"Why—what?" said our Uncle Peter. He seemed a little perplexed.
"Why—what?" our Uncle Peter said, looking a bit confused.
"Why—am I like a Hen?" said the Lady.
"Why—am I like a chicken?" said the Lady.
"O—h," said our Uncle Peter. He acted very much relieved. "O—h," he said. "I was afraid it was something you were going to ask me about Base Ball. But a Hen——?" He looked with smiles at the Lady. "Oh but a Hen—?—Why even a Hen, my dear Madam," he smiled, "a real professional true-enough hen doesn't take any too easily to the actual chick itself until she's served a certain sit-tightly, go-lightly, egg-shell sort of apprenticeship as it were to the IDEA.—Thrust a[Pg 264] bunch of chicks under her before she's served this apprenticeship and——"
"O—h," said our Uncle Peter. He looked incredibly relieved. "O—h," he said. "I was worried it was something you wanted to ask me about baseball. But a hen—?" He smiled at the lady. "Oh but a hen?—Even a hen, my dear madam," he smiled, "a real professional, genuine hen doesn’t easily accept the actual chick itself until she’s gone through a certain sit-tight, go-lightly, egg-shell kind of apprenticeship, so to speak, to the IDEA.—Shove a[Pg 264] bunch of chicks under her before she’s had this apprenticeship and——"
I jumped up and down and clapped my hands. I just couldn't help it.
I bounced up and down and clapped my hands. I just couldn't stop myself.
"Oh, I know what happens!" I cried. "She sits too heavy! And squashes 'em perfectly flat!—There was a hen," I cried. "Her name was Lizzie! She was a good hen! But childless! The Grocer gave us some day-old chicks to put under her! But when we went out to the nest the next morning to see 'em—they couldn't have been flatter if they'd been pressed in the Bible!—My Brother Carol cried,—I cried,—my Mother——"
"Oh, I know what happens!" I exclaimed. "She sits too heavily! And squashes them completely flat!—There was a hen," I said. "Her name was Lizzie! She was a great hen! But she never had any chicks! The Grocer gave us some day-old chicks to put under her! But when we went out to the nest the next morning to check on them—they couldn't have been flatter if they’d been pressed in the Bible!—My brother Carol cried,—I cried,—my mom——"
"I don't care at all who cried," said the Lady. It was true. She didn't. All she cared was to look at our Uncle Peter. The look was a stern look.
"I don't care at all who cried," said the Lady. It was true. She didn't. All she cared about was looking at our Uncle Peter. The look was a stern look.
"And are you trying to imply, Mr.—Mr.—?"
"And are you trying to suggest, Mr.—Mr.—?"
"Merredith," said our Uncle Peter. "Percival Merredith.—'Uncle Peter' for short."[Pg 265]
"Merredith," said our Uncle Peter. "Percival Merredith.—'Uncle Peter' for short."[Pg 265]
"Mr. Merredith," repeated the Lady coldly. "Are you trying to imply that my——step-son looks as though he had been pressed in a—a—Bible?"
"Mr. Merredith," the Lady said coldly. "Are you suggesting that my—step-son looks like he’s been pressed in a—a—Bible?"
I shook in my boots. Carol shook in his boots. You could hear us.
I was trembling in my boots. Carol was trembling in his boots. You could hear us.
Our Uncle Peter never shook a bit. He just twinkled.
Our Uncle Peter never shook at all. He just sparkled.
"Well—hardly," he said.
"Well—not really," he said.
The Lady looked pretty surprised. When she wasn't looking surprised she looked thoughtful.
The lady seemed pretty surprised. When she wasn't looking surprised, she appeared thoughtful.
Her voice sounded little when she got it started again.
Her voice was barely audible when she started it again.
"Maybe—Maybe I DO take my responsibilities too heavily," she said. "But it's this—this sleeping business that worries me so."
"Maybe—I DO take my responsibilities too seriously," she said. "But it's this—this sleep issue that worries me so."
"I should think it would," said our Uncle Peter.
"I think it would," said our Uncle Peter.
"No Nurse Maid will stay with me," said the Lady. "They say it gives them the creeps.—It's enough to give anyone the creeps.—A[Pg 266] grown person of course expects a certain amount of wakefulness, but a child,—a little care-free—heedless child—? Just when you think you've got him safely to sleep—all cuddled up in your own bed or even in his own bed—and are just drowsing off into the first real sleep you've had for a week—?—Patter—Patter—Patter in the hall! Creak—Creak—Creak on the stairs! A chair bumped over in the Library!—Bumped over on purpose you understand! Just to make a noise! 'Noises are his friends,' he says. Why once—once—" The Lady's mouth smiled a little. "Once when I woke and missed him and hunted everywhere—I found him at last in the Pantry—on the floor—with his ear cuddled close up to a mouse-hole! Mouse-Nibble Noises he says are his special friends in the middle of the night when there isn't anything else.—ANYTHING to break the silence it seems to be!—Why in the world should he be afraid of a Silence? Nobody can account for it!"[Pg 267]
"No nursemaid will stay with me," said the lady. "They say it gives them the creeps. It’s enough to give anyone the creeps. A grown person obviously expects to be awake a certain amount of time, but a child—a little carefree, clueless child? Just when you think you’ve finally got him safely to sleep—all cozied up in your own bed or even in his own— and you’re just starting to drift off into the first real sleep you’ve had in a week?—Patter—Patter—Patter in the hallway! Creak—Creak—Creak on the stairs! A chair sliding in the library!—Moved on purpose, you understand! Just to make a noise! 'Noises are his friends,' he says. Why, once—just once—" The lady smiled a little. "Once when I woke up and couldn’t find him and searched everywhere—I finally found him in the pantry—on the floor—with his ear pressed up against a mouse hole! Mouse-nibble noises he says are his special friends in the middle of the night when there’s nothing else around.—ANYTHING to break the silence, it seems!—Why on earth should he be afraid of silence? Nobody can explain it!"
"Possibly not," said our Uncle Peter. "Yet the fact remains that either within or just outside the borders of his consciousness the only two people responsible for his Being have disappeared unaccountably into a Silence——from which they have not returned."
"Maybe not," said our Uncle Peter. "But the truth is that either inside or just outside his awareness, the only two people responsible for his existence have mysteriously vanished into a Silence— from which they haven't come back."
"Oh dear," said the Lady. "I never thought of that! You mean—You mean—that perhaps he thinks that a Silence is a Hole that you might fall into if you don't fill it up with a Noise? Why the poor little fellow!—How in the world is one ever to tell?—Oh dear—Oh dear——" She sank back in her chair and floated her hands in her lap. Her eyes looked as though she was going to cry again. But she didn't cry. That is, not much. Mostly she just sighed. "It isn't as though he was an easy child to understand," she sighed. "He catches cold so easily, and mumps and everything.—And he's so irritable.—He kicks,—he bites,—he scratches!"[Pg 268]
"Oh no," said the Lady. "I never thought about that! You mean—You mean—that maybe he thinks that a Silence is a Hole that you could fall into if you don’t fill it with a Noise? Poor little guy!—How on earth is anyone supposed to understand?—Oh no—Oh no——" She sank back in her chair and placed her hands in her lap. Her eyes looked like she was about to cry again. But she didn’t cry. Well, not much. Mostly she just sighed. "It’s not like he’s an easy child to figure out," she sighed. "He catches colds so easily, and has mumps and everything.—And he’s so irritable.—He kicks,—he bites,—he scratches!"[Pg 268]
"So I have seen demonstrated," said our Uncle Peter.
"So I've seen it shown," said our Uncle Peter.
"Oh, it's quite evident," cried the Lady, "that you think I'm harsh with him!—But whatever in the world would YOU do?" She threw out her hands toward the pretty room,—the rugs,—the pictures,—the fire,—the toys. "Perhaps you can tell me what he NEEDS?" she said.
"Oh, it's pretty obvious," exclaimed the Lady, "that you think I'm being tough on him!—But what would YOU do?" She gestured toward the beautiful room—the rugs—the pictures—the fire—the toys. "Maybe you can tell me what he NEEDS?" she said.
"A good spanking," said our Uncle Peter.
"A good spanking," said Uncle Peter.
The Lady gave a little gasp.
The woman gasped slightly.
"Oh, not for punishment," said our Uncle Peter. "But just for exercise.—It's the only exercise that a lot of pampered, sedentary children ever get!"
"Oh, not for punishment," said our Uncle Peter. "But just for exercise. It's the only exercise that a lot of spoiled, inactive kids ever get!"
"P—Pampered?" gasped the Lady. "S—Sed—entary?" As though her head was bursting with the noises all around the room she clapped her hands over her ears.
"P—Pampered?" the Lady gasped. "S—Sed—entary?" As if her head was ready to explode with all the noise around the room, she covered her ears with her hands.
Our Uncle Peter jumped up from his chair and began to chase the little tin railroad train. It looked funny to see so large a man running[Pg 269] after so small a train. When he caught it it was having a railroad accident in the tunnel under the table where a book had fallen on the track. Like a beetle with no paint on its stomach he left it lying on its back with its little wheels kicking in the air.
Our Uncle Peter jumped up from his chair and started chasing the little toy train. It looked amusing to see such a big guy running[Pg 269] after such a small train. When he caught it, it was having a railroad accident in the tunnel under the table where a book had fallen on the tracks. Like a beetle with its belly exposed, he left it on its back with its tiny wheels flailing in the air.
"If only all the racket was as easily disposed of!" said the Lady.
"If only all this noise could be gotten rid of so easily!" said the Lady.
"It IS!" said our Uncle Peter.
"It IS!" said our Uncle Peter.
Like turning off faucets of water he turned off the noises one by one,—the window-breeze that made the glass dangles tinkle,—the funny jiggly spring that kept the toy bird screaming "Hi-Hi" in its wicker cake,—the music box that tooted horns and beat drums right in the middle of its best tunes! He looked like a giant stalking through the Noah's Ark animals! His foot was longer than the village store!
Like turning off water faucets, he silenced the noises one by one—the breeze from the window that made the glass chimes tinkle—the silly, jiggly spring that kept the toy bird shouting "Hi-Hi" in its wicker cake—the music box that played horns and drums right in the middle of its best tunes! He looked like a giant walking among the animals of Noah's Ark! His foot was longer than the village store!
"If only I figured as largely in a less miniature world!" he said.
"If only I played a bigger role in a less tiny world!" he said.
He looked at the Lady very hard when he[Pg 270] said it as though he was saying something very important.
He stared at the Lady intently when he[Pg 270] said it, as if he was conveying something very significant.
The Lady didn't seem to consider it important at all. She looked at her skirts instead and smoothed them very tidily.
The Lady didn't seem to think it was important at all. She looked at her skirts instead and smoothed them out neatly.
"It's a—It's a pleasant day—isn't it?" said our Uncle Peter.
"It's a—It's a nice day—right?" said our Uncle Peter.
"V—very," said the Lady. Quite suddenly she looked up at him. Her cheeks were pink. She seemed to want to speak but didn't know quite how. She looked more surprised than ever. She bent forward very suddenly and stared and stared at him.
"V—very," said the Lady. Suddenly, she looked up at him. Her cheeks were pink. She seemed to want to say something but didn't quite know how. She looked more surprised than ever. She leaned forward suddenly and stared and stared at him.
"Why—Why you're the gentleman," she said, "who was in the Fruit Store the day I bought the Alligator pears and dropped my pocket-book down behind the trash-barrel?"
"Wait—you're the guy," she said, "who was in the Fruit Store the day I bought the Alligator pears and dropped my wallet behind the trash can?"
"Also the day you bought the Red Mackintosh Apples," said our Uncle Peter. "The Grocer cheated you outrageously on them.—Also the day you wore the bunch of white violets and pricked your finger so brutally,—also[Pg 271] the day on the ferry when there was a slight collision with a tug-boat and I had the privilege of—of——."
"Also the day you bought the Red Mackintosh Apples," said our Uncle Peter. "The grocer completely ripped you off on those. —Also the day you wore the bunch of white violets and hurt your finger so badly, —also[Pg 271] the day on the ferry when there was a small collision with a tugboat and I had the honor of—of——."
The Lady looked very haughty.
The woman looked very arrogant.
"It was the day of the Alligator Pears—that I referred to," she said. "The only day in my recollection!" Very positively she said it,—"the only day in my recollection." But all the time that she said it her cheeks got pinker and pinker. It was when she looked in the glass and saw how mistaken her positiveness looked that her cheeks got so pink. Tap—Tap—Tap her foot stamped on the rug. "Did—Did you know who it was going to be——when you brought the dog?" she said. "That is,—did you know when you first saw the advertisement in the paper." Her white forehead got all black and frowny. "How in the world did you know—my name?" she said.
"It was the day of the Alligator Pears—that I was talking about," she said. "The only day I remember!" She said it very firmly—"the only day I remember." But while she was saying it, her cheeks got pinker and pinker. It was when she looked in the mirror and saw how wrong her certainty looked that her cheeks turned so pink. Tap—Tap—Tap, her foot stamped on the rug. "Did—Did you know who it was going to be—when you brought the dog?" she asked. "I mean, did you know when you first saw the ad in the paper?" Her white forehead scrunched up in a frown. "How on earth did you know—my name?" she said.
Our Uncle Peter made an expression on his face. It was the expression that our Mother[Pg 272] calls his "Third-Helping-of-Apple-Pie Expression,"—bold and unashamed.
Our Uncle Peter made a face. It was the face that our Mom[Pg 272] calls his "Third-Helping-of-Apple-Pie Face,"—bold and unapologetic.
"I asked the Grocer," he said.
"I asked the grocer," he said.
"It was a—a great liberty," said the Lady.
"It was a—a great freedom," said the Lady.
"Was it?" said our Uncle Peter. He didn't seem as sorry as you'd have expected.
"Was it?" said our Uncle Peter. He didn't seem as sorry as you'd expect.
The Lady looked at Carol. The Lady looked at me.
The Lady looked at Carol. The Lady looked at me.
"How many children have you?" she said.
"How many kids do you have?" she asked.
"None of my own," said our Uncle Peter. "But three of my brother Philip's,—Carol and Ruthy as here observed, and Rosalee aet. eighteen who is at present in Cuba engaging herself to be married."
"None of them are mine," said our Uncle Peter. "But three of my brother Philip's—Carol and Ruthy, as you can see here, and Rosalee, who's eighteen and currently in Cuba getting ready to get married."
"O—h," said the Lady.
"Oh," said the Lady.
"I am in short," said our Uncle Peter, "that object of Romance and Pity popularly known as a 'Bachelor Uncle.'"
"I am, in short," said our Uncle Peter, "that person of Romance and Pity commonly known as a 'Bachelor Uncle.'"
"O—h," said the Lady. She seemed more relieved than you'd have supposed.
"O—h," said the Lady. She looked more relieved than you'd expect.
"But in my own case, of course—" said our Uncle Peter.[Pg 273]
"But in my situation, of course—" said our Uncle Peter.[Pg 273]
In the very midst of his own case he stopped right off short to look all around the room again as though he was counting how heavy the toys were and how heavy the money was that had bought the toys. All the twinkle came back to his eyes.
In the middle of his own case, he suddenly stopped to look around the room again as if he were figuring out how heavy the toys were and how much the money was that had bought them. The sparkle in his eyes returned.
"But in my own case," he said, "I've always known ahead—of course—for a very long time—that I was going to have 'em.—Learned to sit lightly on the idea,—re-balance my prejudices,—re-adjust my—"
"But in my own case," he said, "I've always known in advance—of course—for a very long time—that I was going to have them.—Learned to not take the idea too seriously,—re-balance my biases,—re-adjust my—"
"Have—what?" gasped the Lady.
"Have—what?" gasped the Lady.
"Nephews and nieces," said our Uncle Peter.
"Nephews and nieces," our Uncle Peter said.
"O—h," said the Lady.
"O—h," said the lady.
"Had their names all selected I mean," explained our Uncle Peter. "Their virtues, their vices, their avocations, all decided upon.——Ruthy of course might have done with less freckles, and Carol here doesn't quite come up to specifications yet concerning muscle and[Pg 274] brawn—and it was never my original intention of course that any young whipper-snapper niece of mine should engage herself to the first boy she fell in love with.—But taken all in all,—all in all I say—"
"Had all their names picked out, I mean," explained Uncle Peter. "Their strengths, their weaknesses, their jobs, all figured out. Ruthy could have done with fewer freckles, and Carol here still doesn't quite meet the requirements for muscle and[Pg 274] strength—and it was never my original plan, of course, that any young niece of mine should get engaged to the first boy she fell for.—But all things considered,—all things considered, I say—"
"I think," frowned the Lady, "you are perfectly——absurd."
"I think," the Lady frowned, "you are completely——absurd."
The word "absurd" didn't seem to be at all the word she meant to say. She tried to bite it back but got it all mixed up with a little giggle. She bit the giggle instead. It twisted her mouth like a bitter taste.
The word "absurd" didn't seem like the right word for her at all. She tried to hold it back but ended up mixing it with a little giggle. Instead, she bit back the giggle. It twisted her mouth like a bad taste.
Our Uncle Peter looked very sympathetic.
Our Uncle Peter looked really understanding.
"You ought to get away somewhere on a journey," he said. "There's nothing like it as a tonic for the mind. Even if it's a place you don't like very much it clarifies the vision so,—dissipates all one's minor worries."
"You should really take a trip somewhere," he said. "There's nothing better for your mind. Even if it’s a place you don’t particularly like, it clears your head and helps you let go of all those little worries."
"—Minor worries?" said the Lady.
"—Small worries?" said the Lady.
"Travel! Yes that's the thing!" said our Uncle Peter quite positively. All in a minute he seemed to rustle with time tables and maps[Pg 275] and smell of cinders and railroad tickets. "Now there's Bermuda for instance!" he suggested. "Just a month of blue waters and white sand would put the roses back in your cheeks.—And Dicky—"
"Travel! Yes, that's the thing!" our Uncle Peter said enthusiastically. In an instant, he seemed to be surrounded by schedules and maps[Pg 275], with the scent of smoke and train tickets in the air. "Now, take Bermuda for example!" he suggested. "Just a month of blue waters and white sand would bring the color back to your cheeks. —And Dicky—"
"Impossible," said the Lady.
"Not happening," said the Lady.
"Or if Bermuda's too far," insisted our Uncle Peter. "What about Atlantic City? Think how Dicky would enjoy romping on the board walk—while you followed more sedately of course in a luxurious wheel chair!—The most diverting place in the world!—Yes quite surely you must go to Atlantic City!"
"Or if Bermuda's too far," our Uncle Peter insisted. "What about Atlantic City? Just imagine how much Dicky would love playing on the boardwalk—while you followed along more leisurely, of course, in a comfy wheelchair! The most entertaining place in the world! Yes, you definitely have to go to Atlantic City!"
The Lady made a little gasp as though her Patience was bursted.
The Lady gasped slightly as if her patience had run out.
"You don't seem to understand," she said. "I tell you it's quite impossible!"
"You don’t seem to get it," she said. "I'm telling you it's totally impossible!"
"W-H-Y?" said our Uncle Peter. He said it sharply like a Teacher. It HAD to be answered.
"W-H-Y?" said our Uncle Peter. He said it sharply, like a teacher. It had to be answered.
The Lady looked up. She looked down.[Pg 276] She looked sideways. She wrung her hands in her lap. Her face got sort of white.
The lady looked up. She looked down.[Pg 276] She looked sideways. She was wringing her hands in her lap. Her face turned a bit pale.
"It isn't very kind of you," she said, "to force me so to a confession of poverty."
"It’s not very nice of you," she said, "to pressure me into admitting my financial struggles."
"'Poverty'?" laughed our Uncle Peter. He looked around at the furniture,—at the toys,—at the pictures. It was at most everything that he looked around. He seemed to be very cheerful about it.
"'Poverty'?" laughed our Uncle Peter. He looked around at the furniture,—at the toys,—at the pictures. It was at most everything that he looked around. He seemed to be very cheerful about it.
The Lady didn't like his cheerfulness.
The Lady didn't like his happiness.
"Oh I've always had a little for myself," she explained. "Enough for one person to live very simply on. But NOW——? With this strange little boy on my hands,—I—I intend to go to work!"
"Oh, I've always had a little for myself," she explained. "Enough for one person to live very simply on. But NOW—? With this strange little boy on my hands—I—I plan to get to work!"
"Go to——work?" said our Uncle Peter. "WORK?" He said it with a sort of a hoot. "Work? Work? Why, what in the world could YOU do?"
"Go to—work?" said our Uncle Peter. "WORK?" He said it with a kind of laugh. "Work? Work? What on earth could YOU do?"
"I can crochet," said the Lady proudly. "And embroider. I can mend. I can play[Pg 277] the piano. And really you know I can make the most beautiful pies."
"I can crochet," the lady said proudly. "And I can embroider. I can mend. I can play[Pg 277] the piano. And honestly, I can make the most beautiful pies."
"Apple pies," said our Uncle Peter.
"Apple pies," said our Uncle Peter.
"Apple pies," said the Lady. Like a handful of black tissue paper she crumpled up suddenly in her chair. Her shoulders shook and shook. The sound she made was like a sob going down and a laugh coming up. "I'm not crying," she said, "because it's so hard—but b—because the idea is so f—funny."
"Apple pies," said the Lady. She suddenly crumpled up in her chair like a handful of black tissue paper. Her shoulders shook and shook. The sound she made was like a sob going down and a laugh coming up. "I'm not crying," she said, "because it's so hard—but b—because the idea is so f—funny."
"F—F—Funny?" said our Uncle Peter. "It's preposterous! It's gro—tesque! It's—it's fantastic!"
"F—F—Funny?" our Uncle Peter said. "That's outrageous! It's grotesque! It's—it's unbelievable!"
He began to walk very fast from the book-case to the window and from the window back to the book-case again. It wasn't till he'd stubbed his toe twice on a toy Ferris Wheel that the twinkle came back to his eyes.
He started to pace quickly from the bookshelf to the window and back again. It wasn't until he stubbed his toe twice on a toy Ferris wheel that the sparkle returned to his eyes.
"Carol!" he said. "Ruthy!—In consideration of the reduced circumstances in which this very pleasant Lady finds herself don't you think that you could afford to offer her a reduced[Pg 278] price on the dog,—your original profit on the deal being as noted $49.50?"
"Carol!" he said. "Ruthy! Considering the tough situation this nice lady is in, don’t you think you could offer her a lower[Pg 278] price on the dog, since your original profit from the deal is noted as $49.50?"
The Lady jumped to her feet.
The woman jumped up.
"Oh no—no—no!" she said. "Not for a moment! Fifty dollars is what I offered! And fifty dollars it shall be! All dogs I'm sure are worth fifty dollars. Especially if they don't sleep! Why all the other dogs that people brought me did nothing except sleep! On my sofas! In my chairs! Under my tables! Night or day you couldn't drop even so much as a handkerchief on the floor that one or the other of them didn't camp right down and go to sleep on it! Oh, no—no—no," protested the Lady, "whatever my faults, a bargain is a bargain and——"
"Oh no—no—not a chance!" she said. "Not for a second! I offered fifty dollars! And it will be fifty dollars! I’m sure all dogs are worth fifty dollars. Especially if they don’t sleep! All the other dogs people brought me just slept! On my sofas! In my chairs! Under my tables! Night or day, you couldn’t drop even a handkerchief on the floor without one of them camping right down and taking a nap on it! Oh, no—no—no," the Lady insisted, "whatever my flaws, a deal is a deal and——"
"Whatever your faults, my dear Madam," said our Uncle Peter, "they are essentially feminine and therefore enchanting! It is only when ladies ape the faults of men that men resent the same!—Your extravagant indulgency—" he bowed towards the toys—"your[Pg 279] absolute innocence of all business guile—" he bowed towards Tiger Lily—"nerves strung so exquisitely that the slightest—the slightest—"
"Whatever your flaws are, my dear Madam," said our Uncle Peter, "they're inherently feminine and therefore charming! It's only when women mimic men's flaws that men get upset!—Your lavish generosity—" he gestured towards the toys—"your[Pg 279] complete lack of any business cunning—" he nodded towards Tiger Lily—"your nerves so finely tuned that the tiniest—the tiniest—"
The Lady shivered her clothes like a black frost.
The Lady shook her clothes like a black frost.
"It was advice that I was looking for, not compliments," she said.
"It was advice I was looking for, not praise," she said.
"Oh ho!" said Uncle Peter. "I'm infinitely more adept with advice than I am with compliments!"
"Oh wow!" said Uncle Peter. "I'm way better at giving advice than I am at giving compliments!"
The Lady looked a little bit surprised. She frowned.
The lady looked a bit surprised. She frowned.
"It's my little boy that I want advice about," she said. "What IS the best thing I can do for him?"
"It's my little boy that I need advice about," she said. "What’s the best thing I can do for him?"
Our Uncle Peter looked at the ceiling. He looked at the rug. He looked at the pictures on the wall. But it seemed to satisfy him most to look at the Lady's face.
Our Uncle Peter stared at the ceiling. He stared at the rug. He stared at the pictures on the wall. But it seemed to please him the most to look at the Lady's face.
"U—m—m," he said. "U—m—mmmm.—That isn't an easy question to answer unless[Pg 280] you're willing first to answer a question of mine."
"Um," he said. "Um—hmmm. That's not an easy question to answer unless[Pg 280] you're willing to answer one of mine first."
"Ask any question you want to," said the Lady.
"Feel free to ask any question you have," said the Lady.
"U—m—m," said our Uncle Peter all over again. "U—m—m—Um—m—m—U—m—m. It takes a great deal of patience," said our Uncle Peter, "to bring up a little boy.—Unless every time he's naughty you can say to yourself 'Well, even so—think what a good man his Father grew to be!'——Or every time he's good you're fair enough to admit that 'Even his naughty Father was once as nice as this!'"——All the twinkle went suddenly out of our Uncle Peter's eyes. It left them looking narrow. He made a quick glance at Carol. He made a quick glance at me. He seemed very pleased that we were so busy looking at a map of Bermuda. He stepped a little nearer to the Lady. His voice sounded funny. "Were you—were you very fond of the little boy's Father?" he said.[Pg 281]
"Um—m," said our Uncle Peter again. "Um—m—Um—m—m—Um—m. It takes a lot of patience," our Uncle Peter said, "to raise a little boy. Unless every time he does something bad, you can remind yourself, 'Well, even so—think about what a good man his father became!' Or every time he's good, you're fair enough to recognize, 'Even his naughty father was once as nice as this!'" Suddenly, all the sparkle faded from our Uncle Peter's eyes, leaving them looking narrow. He quickly glanced at Carol, then at me, seeming very pleased that we were so focused on a map of Bermuda. He stepped a little closer to the lady. His voice sounded strange. "Were you—were you very close to the little boy's father?" he asked.[Pg 281]
The Lady's face went blazing like a flame out of her black clothes. It was like a white flame that it went blazing. Her eyes looked screaming.
The lady's face lit up like a flame against her dark clothes. It was a bright, white flame that blazed. Her eyes looked intense and expressive.
"How dare you?" she said. "You have no business!—What if I was?—What if I wasn't?" All the scream in her eyes fell down her throat into a whisper. "Suppose—Suppose—I—WASN'T?" she whispered.
"How dare you?" she said. "You have no right!—What if I was?—What if I wasn't?" All the intensity in her eyes faded into a whisper. "What if—I—WASN'T?" she whispered.
"Then indeed I CAN give you advice," said our Uncle Peter.
"Then I can definitely give you some advice," said our Uncle Peter.
The Lady reached out a hand to the book-case to make herself more steady.
The lady reached out to the bookshelf to steady herself.
"What—what is it?" she said.
"What is it?" she asked.
Our Uncle Peter looked funnier and funnier. It wasn't like Christmas that he looked. Nor Fourth of July. Nor even like when we've got the mumps or the measles. It was like Easter Sunday that he looked! There was no twinkle in it. Nor any smoke. Nor even paper dolls. But just SHININGNESS! His voice was all SHININGNESS[Pg 282] too!—If it hadn't been you never could have heard it 'cause he made his words so little.
Our Uncle Peter looked more and more ridiculous. He didn’t look like it was Christmas. Or the Fourth of July. Not even like we do when we have the mumps or measles. He looked like Easter Sunday! There was no sparkle in it. No smoke. Not even paper dolls. Just SHININGNESS! His voice was all SHININGNESS[Pg 282] too!—If it hadn’t been you wouldn’t have heard it at all because he made his words so small.
"It's almost a year now," he said, "since our eyes first met.—You've tried your best to hide from me—but you couldn't do it.—Fate had other ideas in mind.—A chance encounter on the street,—that day on the ferry boat,—your funny little dog-advertisement in the paper?"
"It's been almost a year now," he said, "since we first locked eyes.—You've done your best to avoid me—but you couldn't escape.—Destiny had different plans.—A random meeting on the street,—that day on the ferry,—your quirky little dog-ad for the paper?"
Quite suddenly our Uncle Peter straightened up like a soldier and spoke right out loud again.
Quite suddenly, Uncle Peter straightened up like a soldier and spoke out loud again.
"About your little boy," he said, "my advice about your little boy?—It being indeed so well-nigh impossible, Madam, for a woman to bring up a little boy very successfully unless—she did love his Father,—my advice to you is that without the slightest unnecessary delay you proceed to get him a Father whom you COULD love!"
"About your little boy," he said, "my advice regarding your little boy?—It's nearly impossible, Madam, for a woman to raise a little boy successfully unless she loves his father—so my advice is that without any unnecessary delay, you should find him a father whom you COULD love!"
Whereupon, as people always say in books, our Uncle Peter turned upon his heel and started for the door.[Pg 283]
Whereupon, as people always say in books, our Uncle Peter turned on his heel and headed for the door.[Pg 283]
The Lady swooned into her chair.
The lady fainted into her chair.
Our Uncle Peter had to get a glass of water to un-swoon her.
Our Uncle Peter had to get a glass of water to bring her back to her senses.
I ran for a fan. It bursted my garter. When our Uncle Peter tried to mend it he swore instead.
I ran for a fan. It broke my garter. When our Uncle Peter tried to fix it, he ended up cursing instead.
The Lady came out of her swoon without an instant's hesitation.
The lady came out of her faint without any hesitation.
"Here at least," she said, "is something that I know enough to do."
"Here at least," she said, "is something I know how to handle."
Her mouth was full of scorn and pins. It was with pins that she knew enough to do it.
Her mouth was full of contempt and pins. It was with pins that she knew how to handle it.
Our Uncle Peter looked very humble.
Our Uncle Peter seemed really down-to-earth.
The Lady patted my knees.
The woman patted my knees.
"Little girls are so much easier to manage than little boys," she said. "I don't seem to understand little boys."
"Little girls are way easier to handle than little boys," she said. "I just don't get little boys."
"Nor big boys either!" said our Uncle Peter. He said it with gruffness. It sounded cross.
"Not even big boys!" said our Uncle Peter. He said it in a gruff tone. It came off as angry.
"Perhaps I—don't want to understand them," said the Lady.[Pg 284]
"Maybe I just don’t want to understand them," said the Lady.[Pg 284]
Our Uncle Peter's cheeks got sort of red.
Our Uncle Peter's cheeks turned a bit red.
"Suit yourself, my dear Madam," he said and started for the door. He picked up my hat and put it on Carol's head.—Carol's head looked pretty astonished. He took Carol's cap and put it on my head. He handed us our coats upside down.—All our pennies and treasures fell out on the floor. He snatched up the little boy's gloves by mistake and thrust them into his own pockets.
"Do what you want, my dear Madam," he said and walked toward the door. He picked up my hat and placed it on Carol's head—Carol's expression was pretty surprised. He took Carol's cap and put it on my head. He handed us our coats upside down—all our coins and treasures spilled onto the floor. He mistakenly grabbed the little boy's gloves and stuffed them into his own pockets.
The Lady collected everything again and re-distributed them. She seemed to think it was funny. Not very funny but just a little. She looked at Carol sort of specially.
The Lady gathered everything up again and shared it out. She seemed to find it a bit amusing. Not extremely funny, but just a little. She looked at Carol in a somewhat special way.
"Oh my dear Child," she said. "I hope you didn't mind because Dicky called you a 'Silence'?"
"Oh my dear Child," she said. "I hope you weren't upset because Dicky called you a 'Silence'?"
Carol did mind. He minded very much. I could tell by the way he carried his ears. They looked very stately. Our Uncle Peter whirled round in the door-way. His ears looked pretty stately too.[Pg 285]
Carol really did care. He cared a lot. I could tell by how he held his ears. They looked quite impressive. Our Uncle Peter spun around in the doorway. His ears looked pretty impressive too.[Pg 285]
"All the men in our family," he said, "aim to meet the exigencies of life—sensibly."
"All the men in our family," he said, "try to handle the demands of life—practically."
The Lady seemed to consider the fact quite a long time before she smiled again.
The Lady seemed to think about it for quite a while before she smiled again.
"Oh very well," she said. "If the Uncle really is as sensible as the nephew perhaps he will consent to leave the children here with me to-night—instead of bearing them off to the confusion and general mis-button-ness of hotels."
"Oh fine," she said. "If the uncle is really as sensible as the nephew, maybe he’ll agree to leave the kids here with me tonight—instead of taking them off to the chaos and messiness of hotels."
Our Uncle Peter's face fairly burst into relief.
Our Uncle Peter's face really stood out.
"Oh, do you really mean that?" he cried. "It IS their infernal buttons that makes most of the worry!—And their prayers?—What IS the difference anyway between a morning and an evening prayer?—And this awful responsibility about cereals? And how in the world do you make sure about their necks?"
"Oh, do you actually mean that?" he exclaimed. "It's those cursed buttons that cause most of the stress!—And their prayers?—What's the difference anyway between a morning prayer and an evening prayer?—And this terrible responsibility about cereals? And how on earth do you check their necks?"
"Oh those are the things I know perfectly," said the Lady. "All the nice gentle in-door things."[Pg 286]
"Oh, those are the things I know perfectly," said the Lady. "All the nice, gentle indoor things."[Pg 286]
Our Uncle Peter began to strut again.
Our Uncle Peter started to show off again.
"Oh pshaw!" he said. "It's only the outdoor things that are really important,—how to climb mountains, how to stop a runaway horse,—how to smother a grass fire!"
"Oh come on!" he said. "It's just the outdoor stuff that really matters—like how to climb mountains, how to stop a runaway horse, and how to put out a grass fire!"
It put the Lady all in a flutter.
It made the Lady all flustered.
"Oh pshaw!" said our Uncle Peter. "That's nothing!—The very first instant you hear the maddened hoofs on the pavement you place yourself thus! And THUS!—And——"
"Oh pshaw!" said our Uncle Peter. "That's nothing! The very first moment you hear those frenzied hoofs on the pavement, you position yourself like this! And like THIS!—And——"
The Lady tried to explain to him the difference between a morning and an evening prayer. "Now at night, of course," she explained, "everything is so very lonely that—"
The lady tried to explain to him the difference between a morning and an evening prayer. "Now at night, of course," she explained, "everything is so very lonely that—"
Our Uncle Peter didn't seem to care at all how lonely it was.
Our Uncle Peter didn't seem to care at all how lonely it was.
"The instant you see the horses's blood-red nostrils,—JUMP!" cried our Uncle Peter.
"The moment you see the horse's blood-red nostrils—JUMP!" shouted our Uncle Peter.
It sounded pretty muddled to me.
It sounded pretty confusing to me.
"Personally," insisted the Lady, "I consider a rather soft sponge best for the neck."[Pg 287]
"Personally," the Lady insisted, "I think a soft sponge is best for the neck."[Pg 287]
"So that with your hands clutched like a vise on either side of the mouth," cried our Uncle Peter, "you can saw up and down with all the violence at your command! Now in fighting a grass fire, it's craft, not might, that you need. In that case of course—"
"So with your hands gripping tightly on either side of the mouth," shouted our Uncle Peter, "you can saw up and down with all the force you can muster! When fighting a grass fire, it's skill, not strength, that you need. In that situation, of course—"
"Two hours if you're using a double boiler," explained the Lady, "but many people consider a rapider action more digestible, I suppose."
"Two hours if you're using a double boiler," the Lady explained, "but I guess a quicker method is considered easier to digest by many people."
"My dear Lady——let me finish my explanation!" said our Uncle Peter.
"My dear Lady—let me finish explaining!" said our Uncle Peter.
"But I want to finish mine!" said the Lady.
"But I want to finish mine!" said the Lady.
Our legs got pretty tired waiting for all the explanations to get un-mixed up again.
Our legs got really tired waiting for all the explanations to get straightened out again.
It was nine o'clock before the Lady gave our Uncle Peter a cup of hot chocolate and turned him out doors.
It was nine o'clock when the lady handed our Uncle Peter a cup of hot chocolate and sent him outside.
"Just like a dog," said our Uncle Peter. We heard him say it across his shoulder as he went down the steps.
"Just like a dog," our Uncle Peter said. We heard him say it over his shoulder as he walked down the steps.
It was warm milk in two great blue bowls that she gave us. "Just like kittens," we thought it was!
It was warm milk in two big blue bowls that she gave us. "Just like kittens," we thought it was!
We heard the little boy's feet come thud-thud-thudding up the stairs. We heard Tiger Lily's toe-nails click-click-click along behind him.
We heard the little boy's feet thudding up the stairs. We heard Tiger Lily's toenails clicking along behind him.
The little boy looked very full of chicken and joyfulness. So did Tiger Lily.
The little boy looked really happy and stuffed with chicken. So did Tiger Lily.
"Cook says I've got to romp him!" he said. "Every day!—Twice every day!—More'n a hundred times some days! Out doors too! Not just in parks,—parks are good enough for cats,—but in real fields! Else he'll DIE!" Almost as though he was frightened he stooped down suddenly and laid his little ear on Tiger Lily's soft breast. "He's alive now!" he boasted. "You can hear his heart nibbling!" He threw back his little head and laughed and laughed and clapped his hands. He took Tiger Lily by the collar and led him over to the table by the window. He climbed[Pg 289] up on the table and pulled Tiger Lily after him.
"Cook says I have to take him out for a run!" he said. "Every day!—Twice a day!—Sometimes more than a hundred times! Outside too! Not just in parks—parks are fine for cats—but in real fields! Otherwise he'll DIE!" Almost as if he was scared, he suddenly bent down and put his little ear on Tiger Lily's soft chest. "He's alive right now!" he bragged. "You can hear his heart thumping!" He threw his little head back and laughed and laughed and clapped his hands. He took Tiger Lily by the collar and led him over to the table by the window. He climbed[Pg 289] up on the table and pulled Tiger Lily after him.
Tiger Lily was frightened, but not too much. He felt proud. His ears looked fluffy. His back was shining silk. His tail hung down across the edge of the table like a plume.
Tiger Lily was scared, but not too much. He felt proud. His ears looked fluffy. His back was shining like silk. His tail hung down over the edge of the table like a plume.
Far off in the city streets somewhere there was a noise that trolly cars make when they're climbing up a hill and the switch is too hard for them. It was a sour sound.
Far off in the city streets, there was the sound that trolley cars make when they're struggling to climb a hill and the switch is too tough for them. It was a harsh sound.
Tiger Lily started to make a little quiver in his back. The little boy threw his arm around him. A mouse nibbled in the wall. Tiger Lily cocked his head to listen but kissed the little boy's cheek instead. It was a nice kiss. But wet. The little boy laughed right out loud. Way down on the very tip end of Tiger Lily's plumey tail about two hairs wagged. When the little boy saw it his face went all shining. He threw both arms around Tiger Lily's neck. "T—Tiger Lily's—little boy!" he said. "T—T—" Something funny happened[Pg 290] to his mouth. It was a teeny-weeny yawn that didn't seem to know just what to do about it. Nothing in all the world felt lonely any more.
Tiger Lily started to quiver a bit in his back. The little boy wrapped his arm around him. A mouse nibbled at the wall. Tiger Lily tilted his head to listen but instead kissed the little boy's cheek. It was a sweet kiss, but it was wet. The little boy burst out laughing. Down at the very end of Tiger Lily's fluffy tail, two hairs wiggled. When the little boy saw it, his face lit up. He threw both arms around Tiger Lily's neck. "T—Tiger Lily's—little boy!" he said. "T—T—" Something funny happened[Pg 290] to his mouth. It was a tiny yawn that didn’t seem to know what to do with itself. Nothing in the whole world felt lonely anymore.
Except me.
Except for me.
The Lady put me to bed.
The woman tucked me in.
Carol put himself to bed all except the knots in his shoestrings.
Carol got himself ready for bed but left the knots in his shoelaces.
We went to sleep.
We went to bed.
Pretty soon it was morning. And we went home.
Pretty soon, it was morning, and we went home.
Our Uncle Peter changed a lot of our dog-money into nickles so it would jingle. We sounded like cow-bells. It felt rich. Our Uncle Peter held us very tight by the hands all the way. He said he was afraid we might step into something wet and sink.
Our Uncle Peter turned a lot of our dog-money into nickels so it would jingle. We sounded like cowbells. It felt wealthy. Our Uncle Peter held our hands tightly the whole way. He said he was worried we might step into something wet and sink.
It had been Wednesday when we went away. It was only Thursday when we got home. It seemed later than that.
It had been Wednesday when we left. It was only Thursday when we got back. It felt like it was later than that.
Our Mother was very glad to see us. So was our Father.[Pg 291]
Our mom was really happy to see us. So was our dad.[Pg 291]
The Tame Crow flew down out of the Maple Tree and sat on Carol's head.
The Tame Crow flew down from the Maple Tree and perched on Carol's head.
Our Tame Coon came out of the hole under the piazza and sniffed at our heels.
Our tame raccoon came out of the hole under the porch and sniffed at our heels.
The posie bed in front of the house was blue with violets. The white Spirea bush foamed like a wave against the wood-shed window.
The flower bed in front of the house was blue with violets. The white Spirea bush looked frothy like a wave against the shed window.
In spite of our absence nothing seemed changed.
In spite of our absence, nothing seemed different.
We gave our Father a dollar of our money to buy some Tulips. We gave our Mother a dollar to spend any way she wanted to. We put the rest of it in a book. It was a Savings Bank Book that we put it into.
We gave our dad a dollar from our money to buy some tulips. We gave our mom a dollar to spend however she wanted. We put the rest of it in a book. It was a savings account book that we used.
"For your old age," our Father said.
"For your old age," our Father said.
Our Father's eyes had twinkles in them.
Our dad's eyes sparkled with excitement.
"I hope you've thanked your Uncle Peter properly!" he said.
"I hope you’ve thanked your Uncle Peter the right way!" he said.
"For what?" said our Uncle Peter.
"For what?" said our Uncle Peter.
Our Father jingled the twenty nickles in his hand. "For all favors," he said.[Pg 292]
Our dad jingled the twenty nickels in his hand. "For all favors," he said.[Pg 292]
Our Uncle Peter said he was perfectly repaid. He made a frown at my Father.
Our Uncle Peter said he was totally paid back. He frowned at my dad.
When bed-time came I climbed up into my Mother's lap and told her all about it,—the house,—the cocoa,—the toy Ferris Wheel,—the blue daisies on the stair carpet,—the pigeon that lit on my window-sill in the morning,—the splashy way Tiger Lily lapped his milk.
When bedtime came, I climbed into my mom's lap and told her everything—the house, the cocoa, the toy Ferris Wheel, the blue daisies on the stair carpet, the pigeon that landed on my windowsill in the morning, and the messy way Tiger Lily drank his milk.
"It will be interesting," said my Mother, "to see what we hear from Tiger Lily as Time goes on."
"It'll be interesting," said my mom, "to see what we hear from Tiger Lily as time goes on."
Time went on pretty quickly. Pansies happened and yellow poppies and ducks and two kittens and August.
Time passed by pretty fast. Pansies bloomed, along with yellow poppies, ducks, and two kittens, and then there was August.
It wasn't till almost Autumn that we ever heard from Tiger Lily or the little boy again.
It wasn't until almost Autumn that we heard from Tiger Lily or the little boy again.
When the letter came it was from the little boy. But it was the Lady who wrote it.
When the letter arrived, it was from the little boy. But it was the Lady who wrote it.
We thought her writing would be all black and sorrowful. But it was violet-colored instead, with all the ends of her letters[Pg 293] quirked up with surprise like her face, only prancier.
We expected her writing to be dark and gloomy. But instead, it was violet, with all the ends of her letters[Pg 293] curving up in surprise, just like her face, but fancier.
"My dear little friends," wrote the Lady, "Dicky wishes me to tell you how much we enjoyed your delightful visit, and to say that Tiger Lily is a sweet dog. He thinks you are mistaken about Tiger Lily not hunting. Tiger Lily hunts very well he says,—'only different.' It's mice, he wants me to tell you, that Tiger Lily is very fierce about. And bugs of any sort. All in-door hunting in fact. Certainly our wood-boxes and our fire-places have been kept absolutely free of mice this entire season. And Cook says that not a June Bug has survived. Truly it's very gratifying. Also Dicky wants me to tell you that there's a field. It's got a brook in it where you can sail boats and everything. It's most a mile. This is all for this time Dicky says.
"My dear little friends," wrote the Lady, "Dicky wants me to tell you how much we enjoyed your wonderful visit and to say that Tiger Lily is a sweet dog. He thinks you're mistaken about Tiger Lily not hunting. Tiger Lily hunts really well, he says—'just in a different way.' It's mice that Tiger Lily is really fierce about, and bugs of any kind. Basically, all indoor hunting. Our wood boxes and fireplaces have been completely mouse-free this whole season. And Cook says not a single June Bug has survived. It's truly very satisfying. Also, Dicky wants me to tell you that there's a field with a brook where you can sail boats and everything. It's almost a mile long. That's all for now, Dicky says."
"With affectionate regards, I am, etc.——"
"With kind regards, I am, etc.——"
Our Mother looked up across the top of the letter. It was at my Father that she looked.[Pg 294]
Our Mother glanced up from the letter. She was looking at my Father.[Pg 294]
"Poor dear Lady," she said. "I hope she's happier now. It's that Mrs. Harnon, you know. Her marriage was so unfortunate to that dreadful Harnon man."
"Poor dear Lady," she said. "I hope she’s happier now. It’s that Mrs. Harnon, you know. Her marriage was so unfortunate to that awful Harnon guy."
"U—m—m," said my Father.
"U—m—m," my dad said.
We read the letter over and over waiting for the next one and wondering about Tiger Lily.
We read the letter repeatedly, waiting for the next one and thinking about Tiger Lily.
There wasn't any next one till most Thanksgiving. When it came at last it was Dicky's letter just the same, but it was written in our Uncle Peter's handwriting this time. It seemed funny. But perhaps the Lady's hand was lame and she advertised for help.—Our Uncle Peter reads all the newspapers.
There wasn't another one until almost Thanksgiving. When it finally arrived, it was Dicky's letter again, but it was written in our Uncle Peter's handwriting this time. It felt strange. But maybe the Lady's hand was sore, and she asked for help. —Our Uncle Peter reads all the newspapers.
The letter was awful short. And there weren't any quirks in it or anything. Just ink. This is what it said:
The letter was really short. It didn't have any unique features or anything. Just ink. This is what it said:
"Mutts:
Mixed breeds:
Tiger Lily's got nine puppies. We're sleeping fine.
Tiger Lily has nine puppies. We're sleeping well.
Our Mother looked at our Father. Our Father looked at our Mother. They both looked at the letter again.
Our mom looked at our dad. Our dad looked at our mom. They both looked at the letter again.
"My brother Peter's handwriting just as sure as you're born!" said my Father.
"My brother Peter's handwriting is something else, that's for sure!" said my dad.
"Of course it's Peter's writing," said our Mother. Her cheeks were quite pink. "Well of all the unexpected romances—" she said.
"Of course it's Peter's writing," our mom said, her cheeks looking pretty pink. "Well, of all the unexpected romances—" she added.
"Whose?" I said.
"Who’s?" I said.
"Tiger Lily's," said my Father. He seemed to be in an awful hurry to say it.
"Tiger Lily's," my dad said. He seemed really eager to say it.
I looked at my Mother. Her eyes were shining.
I looked at my mom. Her eyes were shining.
"Is a—Is a 'Romance' a something that you make a story out of?" I said.
"Is a 'Romance' something you create a story out of?" I said.
"Yes it is," said my Mother.
"Yes, it is," my mom said.
I thought of my gold pencil.
I thought about my gold pencil.
"Oh, all right," I said, "when I get tall enough and more spelly I'll make a little story about it."
"Oh, fine," I said, "when I get tall enough and more skilled, I'll write a little story about it."
"You already have!" said my Mother.
"You already have!" my mom said.
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