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THE POET
AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE
by Oliver Wendell Holmes
PREFACE.
In this, the third series of Breakfast-Table conversations, a slight dramatic background shows off a few talkers and writers, aided by certain silent supernumeraries. The machinery is much like that of the two preceding series. Some of the characters must seem like old acquaintances to those who have read the former papers. As I read these over for the first time for a number of years, I notice one character; presenting a class of beings who have greatly multiplied during the interval which separates the earlier and later Breakfast-Table papers,—I mean the scientific specialists. The entomologist, who confines himself rigidly to the study of the coleoptera, is intended to typify this class. The subdivision of labor, which, as we used to be told, required fourteen different workmen to make a single pin, has reached all branches of knowledge. We find new terms in all the Professions, implying that special provinces have been marked off, each having its own school of students. In theology we have many curious subdivisions; among the rest eschatology, that is to say, the geography, geology, etc., of the “undiscovered country;” in medicine, if the surgeon who deals with dislocations of the right shoulder declines to meddle with a displacement on the other side, we are not surprised, but ring the bell of the practitioner who devotes himself to injuries of the left shoulder.
In this, the third series of Breakfast-Table conversations, a subtle dramatic backdrop highlights a few speakers and writers, supported by some quiet extras. The setup is much like the previous two series. Some of the characters will feel like familiar faces to those who have read the earlier pieces. As I revisit these for the first time in several years, I notice one character representing a group that has greatly increased since the gap between the earlier and later Breakfast-Table writings—I’m talking about scientific specialists. The entomologist, who strictly focuses on studying beetles, symbolizes this group. The division of labor, which used to be illustrated by saying it took fourteen different workers to make a single pin, has extended into every field of knowledge. We encounter new terms in all professions, indicating that specific areas have been defined, each with its own group of students. In theology, there are many interesting subdivisions; for example, eschatology, which refers to the geography, geology, etc., of the "undiscovered country." In medicine, if a surgeon who handles right shoulder dislocations refuses to deal with an issue on the other side, we're not surprised; instead, we call upon the specialist who focuses on left shoulder injuries.
On the other hand, we have had or have the encyclopaedic intelligences like Cuvier, Buckle, and more emphatically Herbert Spencer, who take all knowledge, or large fields of it, to be their province. The author of “Thoughts on the Universe” has something in common with these, but he appears also to have a good deal about him of what we call the humorist; that is, an individual with a somewhat heterogeneous personality, in which various distinctly human elements are mixed together, so as to form a kind of coherent and sometimes pleasing whole, which is to a symmetrical character as a breccia is to a mosaic.
On the other hand, there are encyclopedic thinkers like Cuvier, Buckle, and especially Herbert Spencer, who consider all knowledge, or large parts of it, to be their domain. The author of “Thoughts on the Universe” shares some traits with these individuals, but he also seems to have a significant dose of what we call humor; that is, a person with a somewhat diverse personality, where various distinctly human traits blend together to create a cohesive and sometimes enjoyable whole, which is to a symmetrical character what breccia is to a mosaic.
As for the Young Astronomer, his rhythmical discourse may be taken as expressing the reaction of what some would call “the natural man” against the unnatural beliefs which he found in that lower world to which he descended by day from his midnight home in the firmament.
As for the Young Astronomer, his rhythmic speech can be seen as representing the response of what some might call “the natural man” against the unnatural beliefs he encountered in that lower world he came down to during the day from his midnight home in the sky.
I have endeavored to give fair play to the protest of gentle and reverential conservatism in the letter of the Lady, which was not copied from, but suggested by, one which I received long ago from a lady bearing an honored name, and which I read thoughtfully and with profound respect.
I have tried to give a fair chance to the protest of gentle and respectful conservatism in the letter of the Lady, which wasn't copied from, but inspired by, one I received long ago from a woman with a respected name, and which I read carefully and with deep respect.
December, 1882.
December 1882.
PREFACE TO THE NEW EDITION.
It is now nearly twenty years since this book was published. Being the third of the Breakfast-Table series, it could hardly be expected to attract so much attention as the earlier volumes. Still, I had no reason to be disappointed with its reception. It took its place with the others, and was in some points a clearer exposition of my views and feelings than either of the other books, its predecessors. The poems “Homesick in Heaven” and the longer group of passages coming from the midnight reveries of the Young Astronomer have thoughts in them not so fully expressed elsewhere in my writings.
It has been almost twenty years since this book was published. As the third installment in the Breakfast-Table series, it was never expected to draw as much attention as the earlier volumes. Still, I had no reason to feel let down by its reception. It found its place alongside the others and, in some ways, provided a clearer explanation of my views and feelings than either of the previous books. The poems “Homesick in Heaven” and the longer set of passages from the midnight musings of the Young Astronomer contain ideas that aren't expressed as fully in my other works.
The first of these two poems is at war with our common modes of thought. In looking forward to rejoining in a future state those whom we have loved on earth,—as most of us hope and many of us believe we shall,—we are apt to forget that the same individuality is remembered by one relative as a babe, by another as an adult in the strength of maturity, and by a third as a wreck with little left except its infirmities and its affections. The main thought of this poem is a painful one to some persons. They have so closely associated life with its accidents that they expect to see their departed friends in the costume of the time in which they best remember them, and feel as if they should meet the spirit of their grandfather with his wig and cane, as they habitually recall him to memory.
The first of these two poems challenges our usual ways of thinking. When we look forward to reuniting with those we loved on earth in a future state—as most of us hope and many of us believe—we tend to forget that the same individual is remembered by one relative as a baby, by another as a strong adult, and by a third as someone with little left but their weaknesses and memories. The main idea of this poem is painful for some people. They have so closely linked life with its circumstances that they expect to see their departed friends in the outfits from the time they best remember them, feeling as if they should encounter their grandfather’s spirit complete with his wig and cane, just as they typically remember him.
The process of scientific specialization referred to and illustrated in this record has been going on more actively than ever during these last twenty years. We have only to look over the lists of the Faculties and teachers of our Universities to see the subdivision of labor carried out as never before. The movement is irresistible; it brings with it exactness, exhaustive knowledge, a narrow but complete self-satisfaction, with such accompanying faults as pedantry, triviality, and the kind of partial blindness which belong to intellectual myopia. The specialist is idealized almost into sublimity in Browning's “Burial of the Grammarian.” We never need fear that he will undervalue himself. To be the supreme authority on anything is a satisfaction to self-love next door to the precious delusions of dementia. I have never pictured a character more contented with himself than the “Scarabee” of this story.
The process of scientific specialization discussed in this record has been more active than ever over the past twenty years. Just looking at the lists of faculties and teachers at our universities shows the division of labor happening like never before. This movement is unstoppable; it brings precision, in-depth knowledge, and a narrow yet complete sense of self-satisfaction, along with flaws like pedantry, triviality, and a kind of partial blindness typical of intellectual myopia. The specialist is almost idealized to the point of sublimity in Browning's “Burial of the Grammarian.” We never need to worry that he will underestimate his own value. Being the top authority on something is a boost to self-esteem that borders on the sweet delusions of madness. I’ve never imagined a character more pleased with himself than the “Scarabee” in this story.
BEVERLY FARMS, MASS., August 1, 1891. O. W. H.
BEVERLY FARMS, MASS., August 1, 1891. O. W. H.
THE POET
AT THE BREAKFAST-TABLE.
I
The idea of a man's “interviewing” himself is rather odd, to be sure. But then that is what we are all of us doing every day. I talk half the time to find out my own thoughts, as a school-boy turns his pockets inside out to see what is in them. One brings to light all sorts of personal property he had forgotten in his inventory.
The idea of a guy “interviewing” himself is pretty strange, for sure. But that's actually what all of us do every day. I often talk to figure out what I’m thinking, just like a schoolboy empties his pockets to see what’s in there. You end up uncovering all kinds of personal stuff you forgot about.
—You don't know what your thoughts are going to be beforehand? said the “Member of the Haouse,” as he calls himself.
—You don't know what you're going to think ahead of time? said the “Member of the House,” as he calls himself.
—Why, of course I don't. Bless your honest legislative soul, I suppose I have as many bound volumes of notions of one kind and another in my head as you have in your Representatives' library up there at the State House. I have to tumble them over and over, and open them in a hundred places, and sometimes cut the leaves here and there, to find what I think about this and that. And a good many people who flatter themselves they are talking wisdom to me, are only helping me to get at the shelf and the book and the page where I shall find my own opinion about the matter in question.
—Why, of course I don't. Bless your honest political heart, I guess I have as many collections of ideas in my mind as you have in your Representatives' library up there at the State House. I have to sift through them repeatedly, and flip to a hundred different places, and sometimes rip pages here and there, to figure out what I think about this and that. And a lot of people who think they’re sharing wisdom with me are really just helping me locate the shelf, the book, and the page where I'll find my own opinion on the issue at hand.
—The Member's eyes began to look heavy.
—The Member's eyes started to look droopy.
—It 's a very queer place, that receptacle a man fetches his talk out of. The library comparison does n't exactly hit it. You stow away some idea and don't want it, say for ten years. When it turns up at last it has got so jammed and crushed out of shape by the other ideas packed with it, that it is no more like what it was than a raisin is like a grape on the vine, or a fig from a drum like one hanging on the tree. Then, again, some kinds of thoughts breed in the dark of one's mind like the blind fishes in the Mammoth Cave. We can't see them and they can't see us; but sooner or later the daylight gets in and we find that some cold, fishy little negative has been spawning all over our beliefs, and the brood of blind questions it has given birth to are burrowing round and under and butting their blunt noses against the pillars of faith we thought the whole world might lean on. And then, again, some of our old beliefs are dying out every year, and others feed on them and grow fat, or get poisoned as the case may be. And so, you see, you can't tell what the thoughts are that you have got salted down, as one may say, till you run a streak of talk through them, as the market people run a butterscoop through a firkin.
—It’s a really strange place, the spot from which a person pulls their thoughts. Comparing it to a library doesn’t quite capture it. You tuck away an idea and ignore it for, say, ten years. When it finally resurfaces, it’s been so squished and reshaped by all the other ideas packed in with it that it’s nothing like it was, just like a raisin is nothing like a grape on the vine, or a dried fig is nothing like one hanging on the tree. Then, there are some thoughts that grow in the darkness of our minds like blind fish in Mammoth Cave. We can’t see them and they can’t see us; but eventually, daylight seeps in and we discover that some cold, fishy little negativity has been spreading itself all over our beliefs, and the bunch of blind questions it has spawned are digging around and bumping their blunt noses against the foundations of faith we thought the whole world could rely on. And then again, some of our old beliefs are fading each year, while others feed off them, getting stronger or poisoned depending on the situation. So, you see, you can’t tell what the thoughts you have packed away really are until you spill out a stream of conversation through them, just like market vendors scoop butter from a tub.
Don't talk, thinking you are going to find out your neighbor, for you won't do it, but talk to find out yourself. There is more of you—and less of you, in spots, very likely—than you know.
Don't speak, believing you'll discover something about your neighbor, because you won't. Instead, talk to learn more about yourself. There's more to you—and possibly less in some areas—than you realize.
—The Member gave a slight but unequivocal start just here. It does seem as if perpetual somnolence was the price of listening to other people's wisdom. This was one of those transient nightmares that one may have in a doze of twenty seconds. He thought a certain imaginary Committee of Safety of a certain imaginary Legislature was proceeding to burn down his haystack, in accordance with an Act, entitled an Act to make the Poor Richer by making the Rich Poorer. And the chairman of the committee was instituting a forcible exchange of hats with him, to his manifest disadvantage, for he had just bought him a new beaver. He told this dream afterwards to one of the boarders.
—The Member flinched slightly but definitely at this point. It really seems like constant drowsiness is the cost of listening to other people’s wisdom. This was one of those fleeting nightmares you might have during a quick twenty-second nap. He imagined a fictional Committee of Safety from a made-up Legislature was about to burn down his haystack, following a law called "An Act to Make the Poor Richer by Making the Rich Poorer." And the committee chairman was forcing him to trade hats, which was clearly a bad deal for him since he had just bought a new beaver hat. He later told this dream to one of the other boarders.
There was nothing very surprising, therefore, in his asking a question not very closely related to what had gone before.
There was nothing particularly surprising, then, in his asking a question that wasn’t really connected to what had been said earlier.
—Do you think they mean business?
—Do you think they are serious?
—I beg your pardon, but it would be of material assistance to me in answering your question if I knew who “they” might happen to be.
—I apologize, but it would really help me answer your question if I knew who "they" are.
—Why, those chaps that are setting folks on to burn us all up in our beds. Political firebugs we call 'em up our way. Want to substitoot the match-box for the ballot-box. Scare all our old women half to death.
—Why, those guys who are getting people to burn us all up in our beds. We call them political arsonists around here. They want to swap the ballot box for the matchbox. They scare all our old women half to death.
—Oh—ah—yes—to be sure. I don't believe they say what the papers put in their mouths any more than that a friend of mine wrote the letter about Worcester's and Webster's Dictionaries, that he had to disown the other day. These newspaper fellows are half asleep when they make up their reports at two or three o'clock in the morning, and fill out the speeches to suit themselves. I do remember some things that sounded pretty bad,—about as bad as nitro-glycerine, for that matter. But I don't believe they ever said 'em, when they spoke their pieces, or if they said 'em I know they did n't mean 'em. Something like this, wasn't it? If the majority didn't do something the minority wanted 'em to, then the people were to burn up our cities, and knock us down and jump on our stomachs. That was about the kind of talk, as the papers had it; I don't wonder it scared the old women.
—Oh—ah—yes—to be sure. I don’t think they actually say what the papers put in their mouths any more than a friend of mine wrote that letter about Worcester’s and Webster’s Dictionaries, which he had to deny the other day. Those newspaper guys are half asleep when they write their reports at two or three in the morning, and they twist the speeches to fit their narrative. I do remember some things that sounded pretty bad—about as bad as nitroglycerin, to be honest. But I doubt they ever said those things when they gave their speeches, or if they did, I know they didn’t mean it. Something like this, right? If the majority didn’t do what the minority wanted them to, then the people were supposed to burn down our cities and beat us up and stomp on our stomachs. That was pretty much the kind of talk the papers reported; I can see why it scared the old ladies.
—The Member was wide awake by this time.
—The member was fully awake by this point.
—I don't seem to remember of them partickler phrases, he said.
—I don't seem to remember those particular phrases, he said.
—Dear me, no; only levelling everything smack, and trampling us under foot, as the reporters made it out. That means FIRE, I take it, and knocking you down and stamping on you, whichever side of your person happens to be uppermost. Sounded like a threat; meant, of course, for a warning. But I don't believe it was in the piece as they spoke it,—could n't have been. Then, again, Paris wasn't to blame,—as much as to say—so the old women thought—that New York or Boston would n't be to blame if it did the same thing. I've heard of political gatherings where they barbecued an ox, but I can't think there 's a party in this country that wants to barbecue a city. But it is n't quite fair to frighten the old women. I don't doubt there are a great many people wiser than I am that would n't be hurt by a hint I am going to give them. It's no matter what you say when you talk to yourself, but when you talk to other people, your business is to use words with reference to the way in which those other people are like to understand them. These pretended inflammatory speeches, so reported as to seem full of combustibles, even if they were as threatening as they have been represented, would do no harm if read or declaimed in a man's study to his books, or by the sea-shore to the waves. But they are not so wholesome moral entertainment for the dangerous classes. Boys must not touch off their squibs and crackers too near the powder-magazine. This kind of speech does n't help on the millennium much.
—Oh no; just leveling everything flat and trampling us underfoot, as the reporters made it sound. That suggests FIRE, I guess, and knocking you down and stomping on you, no matter which side you happen to be lying on. It sounded like a threat; meant, of course, as a warning. But I don't think it was in the article the way they reported it—couldn't have been. Then again, Paris wasn't at fault—as much as to say—so the old women thought—that New York or Boston wouldn’t be to blame if they did the same thing. I've heard of political gatherings where they barbecued an ox, but I can't imagine there’s a party in this country that wants to barbecue a city. But it’s not entirely fair to scare the old women. I'm sure there are many people wiser than I am who wouldn’t be bothered by a hint I'm about to give them. It doesn't matter what you say when you talk to yourself, but when you talk to others, you need to use words that reflect how those people are likely to understand them. These so-called inflammatory speeches, reported in a way that makes them seem full of fire, even if they were as threatening as described, wouldn’t do any harm if read out loud in a man’s study to his books or by the seashore to the waves. But they aren’t exactly wholesome moral lessons for the dangerous classes. Boys shouldn't set off their firecrackers too close to the powder magazine. This kind of speech doesn’t really help bring about a better future.
—It ain't jest the thing to grease your ex with ile o' vitrul, said the Member.
—It isn’t just right to treat your ex with vitriol, said the Member.
—No, the wheel of progress will soon stick fast if you do. You can't keep a dead level long, if you burn everything down flat to make it. Why, bless your soul, if all the cities of the world were reduced ashes, you'd have a new set of millionnaires in a couple of years or so, out of the trade in potash. In the mean time, what is the use of setting the man with the silver watch against the man with the gold watch, and the man without any watch against them both?
—No, progress will come to a halt if you do that. You can't maintain a flat, even surface for long if you destroy everything to achieve it. Honestly, if all the cities in the world were turned to ash, you'd have a new group of millionaires in just a few years from the potash trade. In the meantime, what's the point of pitting the guy with the silver watch against the guy with the gold watch, and the guy without any watch against both of them?
—You can't go agin human natur', said the Member
—You can't go against human nature, said the Member
—You speak truly. Here we are travelling through desert together like the children of Israel. Some pick up more manna and catch more quails than others and ought to help their hungry neighbors more than they do; that will always be so until we come back to primitive Christianity, the road to which does not seem to be via Paris, just now; but we don't want the incendiary's pillar of a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night to lead us in the march to civilization, and we don't want a Moses who will smite rock, not to bring out water for our thirst, but petroleum to burn us all up with.
—You speak the truth. Here we are traveling through the desert together like the children of Israel. Some gather more manna and catch more quails than others and should help their hungry neighbors more than they do; that will always be the case until we return to primitive Christianity, the path to which doesn't seem to go through Paris right now; but we don't want the incendiary's pillar of cloud by day and pillar of fire by night to guide us in the march toward civilization, and we don't want a Moses who will strike a rock, not to bring out water for our thirst, but petroleum to burn us all up.
—It is n't quite fair to run an opposition to the other funny speaker, Rev. Petroleum V. What 's-his-name,—spoke up an anonymous boarder.
—It isn't really fair to compete with the other funny speaker, Rev. Petroleum V. What's-his-name,—spoke up an anonymous boarder.
—You may have been thinking, perhaps, that it was I,—I, the Poet, who was the chief talker in the one-sided dialogue to which you have been listening. If so, you were mistaken. It was the old man in the spectacles with large round glasses and the iron-gray hair. He does a good deal of the talking at our table, and, to tell the truth, I rather like to hear him. He stirs me up, and finds me occupation in various ways, and especially, because he has good solid prejudices, that one can rub against, and so get up and let off a superficial intellectual irritation, just as the cattle rub their backs against a rail (you remember Sydney Smith's contrivance in his pasture) or their sides against an apple-tree (I don't know why they take to these so particularly, but you will often find the trunk of an apple-tree as brown and smooth as an old saddle at the height of a cow's ribs). I think they begin rubbing in cold blood, and then, you know, l'appetit vient en mangeant, the more they rub the more they want to. That is the way to use your friend's prejudices. This is a sturdy-looking personage of a good deal more than middle age, his face marked with strong manly furrows, records of hard thinking and square stand-up fights with life and all its devils. There is a slight touch of satire in his discourse now and then, and an odd way of answering one that makes it hard to guess how much more or less he means than he seems to say. But he is honest, and always has a twinkle in his eye to put you on your guard when he does not mean to be taken quite literally. I think old Ben Franklin had just that look. I know his great-grandson (in pace!) had it, and I don't doubt he took it in the straight line of descent, as he did his grand intellect.
—You might have thought it was me—the Poet—who was doing the most talking in this one-sided conversation you've been listening to. But you’d be wrong. It was the old man with the round glasses and iron-gray hair. He does most of the talking at our table, and honestly, I quite enjoy listening to him. He challenges me and keeps me engaged in different ways, especially because he has those strong, established opinions you can push against to relieve some superficial intellectual tension, just like cows rub their backs against a rail (you remember Sydney Smith’s trick in his pasture) or their sides against an apple tree (I’m not sure why they favor those trees, but you often find the trunk of an apple tree as worn and smooth as an old saddle at the height of a cow’s ribs). I think they start rubbing when they’re calm, and then, you know, the more they rub, the more they want to. That’s how you can play off your friend’s opinions. This sturdy-looking guy is well past middle age, with a face marked by deep lines from hard thinking and straight-up battles with life and all its challenges. Occasionally, there’s a hint of satire in what he says, and he has a peculiar way of answering that makes it tough to tell whether he means more or less than what he appears to say. But he’s genuine, and there’s always a twinkle in his eye that warns you not to take him too literally. I think old Ben Franklin had that same look. I know his great-grandson (rest in peace!) had it too, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he got it through the family line, just like his brilliant mind.
The Member of the Haouse evidently comes from one of the lesser inland centres of civilization, where the flora is rich in checkerberries and similar bounties of nature, and the fauna lively with squirrels, wood-chucks, and the like; where the leading sportsmen snare patridges, as they are called, and “hunt” foxes with guns; where rabbits are entrapped in “figgery fours,” and trout captured with the unpretentious earth-worm, instead of the gorgeous fly; where they bet prizes for butter and cheese, and rag-carpets executed by ladies more than seventy years of age; where whey wear dress-coats before dinner, and cock their hats on one side when they feel conspicuous and distinshed; where they say—Sir to you in their common talk and have other Arcadian and bucolic ways which are highly unobjectionable, but are not so much admired in cities, where the people are said to be not half so virtuous.
The Member of the House clearly comes from one of the smaller rural areas, where the plants are full of checkerberries and similar gifts from nature, and the wildlife is active with squirrels, woodchucks, and the like; where the top hunters trap what they call partridges and "hunt" foxes with guns; where rabbits are caught in "figgery fours," and trout are caught using simple earthworms instead of fancy flies; where they bet on awards for butter and cheese, and rag rugs made by women over seventy; where they wear dress coats before dinner and tilt their hats to the side when they want to stand out; where they casually say "Sir" in conversation and have other rustic ways that are perfectly fine, but aren't as appreciated in cities, where people are said to be less virtuous.
There is with us a boy of modest dimensions, not otherwise especially entitled to the epithet, who ought be six or seven years old, to judge by the gap left by his front milk teeth, these having resigned in favor of their successors, who have not yet presented their credentials. He is rather old for an enfant terrible, and quite too young to have grown into the bashfulness of adolescence; but he has some of the qualities of both these engaging periods of development, The member of the Haouse calls him “Bub,” invariably, such term I take to be an abbreviation of “Beelzeb,” as “bus” is the short form of “omnibus.” Many eminently genteel persons, whose manners make them at home anywhere, being evidently unaware of true derivation of this word, are in the habit of addressing all unknown children by one of the two terms, “bub” and “sis,” which they consider endears them greatly to the young people, and recommends them to the acquaintance of their honored parents, if these happen to accompany them. The other boarders commonly call our diminutive companion That Boy. He is a sort of expletive at the table, serving to stop gaps, taking the same place a washer does that makes a loose screw fit, and contriving to get driven in like a wedge between any two chairs where there is a crevice. I shall not call that boy by the monosyllable referred to, because, though he has many impish traits at present, he may become civilized and humanized by being in good company. Besides, it is a term which I understand is considered vulgar by the nobility and gentry of the Mother Country, and it is not to be found in Mr. Worcester's Dictionary, on which, as is well known, the literary men of this metropolis are by special statute allowed to be sworn in place of the Bible. I know one, certainly, who never takes his oath on any other dictionary, any advertising fiction to the contrary, notwithstanding.
There's a boy with us who's pretty small, and he seems to be around six or seven years old, judging by the gap where his front milk teeth used to be; they've come out for his adult teeth, which haven't shown up yet. He's a bit old to be a real “enfant terrible” but too young to feel the awkwardness of being a teenager. He has some traits of both these engaging stages of growing up. The members of the House always call him “Bub,” which I take to be a shorthand for “Beelzeb,” just like “bus” is short for “omnibus.” Many very refined people, who fit in anywhere, seem to not know the true origin of this word and often call all unknown kids either “bub” or “sis,” thinking it makes them friendly with the youngsters and helps them get in the good graces of their parents if they happen to be around. The other boarders usually refer to our little friend as That Boy. He’s sort of a filler at the table, filling gaps just like a washer fits a loose screw, and he tends to wedge himself between any two chairs with a little space. I won’t call that boy by the short name everyone else uses because, even though he has some mischievous qualities right now, he can still become civilized and humane in good company. Plus, it’s a term I’ve heard is considered vulgar by the nobility and gentry back in the Mother Country, and it’s not found in Mr. Worcester's Dictionary, which, as many know, literary folks in this city swear by instead of the Bible. I know one for sure who only swears on that dictionary, despite any advertising claims suggesting otherwise.
I wanted to write out my account of some of the other boarders, but a domestic occurrence—a somewhat prolonged visit from the landlady, who is rather too anxious that I should be comfortable broke in upon the continuity of my thoughts, and occasioned—in short, I gave up writing for that day.
I wanted to write about some of the other boarders, but an interruption from the landlady—who was a bit too concerned about my comfort—disrupted my train of thought, and in short, I decided to stop writing for the day.
—“I wonder if anything like this ever happened. Author writing, jacks?”
—“I wonder if anything like this ever happened. Author writing, jacks?”
“To be, or not to be: that is the question Whether 't is nobl—”
“Whether to exist or not: that’s the question If it is noble—”
—“William, shall we have pudding to-day, or flapjacks?”
—“William, should we have pudding today, or pancakes?”
—“Flapjacks, an' it please thee, Anne, or a pudding, for that matter; or what thou wilt, good woman, so thou come not betwixt me and my thought.”
—“Flapjacks, if it pleases you, Anne, or a pudding, for that matter; or whatever you want, good woman, just don’t interfere with my thoughts.”
—Exit Mistress Anne, with strongly accented closing of the door and murmurs to the effect: “Ay, marry, 't is well for thee to talk as if thou hadst no stomach to fill. We poor wives must swink for our masters, while they sit in their arm-chairs growing as great in the girth through laziness as that ill-mannered fat man William hath writ of in his books of players' stuff. One had as well meddle with a porkpen, which hath thorns all over him, as try to deal with William when his eyes be rolling in that mad way.”
—Exit Mistress Anne, slamming the door behind her and murmuring something like: “Sure, it's easy for you to talk like you don’t have a stomach to feed. We poor wives have to work hard for our husbands while they lounge in their armchairs, getting as big from laziness as that rude fat man William has written about in his plays. It’s about as smart as trying to handle a porcupine if you think you can deal with William when his eyes are rolling around like that.”
William—writing once more—after an exclamation in strong English of the older pattern,—
William—writing again—after an exclamation in forceful English of the older style,—
“Whether 't is nobler—nobler—nobler—”
“Whether it is nobler—nobler—nobler—”
To do what? O these women! these women! to have puddings or flapjacks! Oh!—
To do what? Oh, these women! These women! To have desserts or pancakes! Oh!—
“Whether 't is nobler—in the mind—to suffer The slings—and arrows—of—”
“Whether it's nobler—in the mind—to suffer the slings—and arrows—of—”
Oh! Oh! these women! I will e'en step over to the parson's and have a cup of sack with His Reverence for methinks Master Hamlet hath forgot that which was just now on his lips to speak.
Oh! Oh! these women! I think I’ll just head over to the parson’s and have a cup of sherry with His Reverence because I believe Master Hamlet has forgotten what he was just about to say.
So I shall have to put off making my friends acquainted with the other boarders, some of whom seem to me worth studying and describing. I have something else of a graver character for my readers. I am talking, you know, as a poet; I do not say I deserve the name, but I have taken it, and if you consider me at all it must be in that aspect. You will, therefore, be willing to run your eyes over a few pages read, of course by request, to a select party of the boarders.
So I’ll need to delay introducing my friends to the other boarders, some of whom I think are worth observing and describing. I have something more serious to share with my readers. I'm speaking as a poet; I don’t claim I deserve that title, but I’ve taken it on, and if you think of me at all, it should be in that light. So, I hope you’ll be willing to read a few pages that were shared, of course by request, with a select group of the boarders.
THE GAMBREL-ROOFED HOUSE AND ITS OUTLOOK. A PANORAMA, WITH SIDE-SHOWS.
THE GAMBREL-ROOFED HOUSE AND ITS VIEW. A SCENIC VIEW, WITH EXTRAS.
My birthplace, the home of my childhood and earlier and later boyhood, has within a few months passed out of the ownership of my family into the hands of that venerable Alma Mater who seems to have renewed her youth, and has certainly repainted her dormitories. In truth, when I last revisited that familiar scene and looked upon the flammantia mania of the old halls, “Massachusetts” with the dummy clock-dial, “Harvard” with the garrulous belfry, little “Holden” with the sculptured unpunishable cherub over its portal, and the rest of my early brick-and-mortar acquaintances, I could not help saying to myself that I had lived to see the peaceable establishment of the Red Republic of Letters.
My birthplace, where I spent my childhood and earlier and later years as a boy, has recently changed ownership from my family to that respected Alma Mater, who seems to have regained her youth and definitely spruced up her dorms. Honestly, when I last visited that familiar place and saw the vibrant chaos of the old halls—“Massachusetts” with the fake clock face, “Harvard” with its chatty bell tower, little “Holden” with the cherub sculpture over its entrance, and all my early brick-and-mortar friends—I couldn't help but think that I had lived to witness the peaceful establishment of the Red Republic of Letters.
Many of the things I shall put down I have no doubt told before in a fragmentary way, how many I cannot be quite sure, as I do not very often read my own prose works. But when a man dies a great deal is said of him which has often been said in other forms, and now this dear old house is dead to me in one sense, and I want to gather up my recollections and wind a string of narrative round them, tying them up like a nosegay for the last tribute: the same blossoms in it I have often laid on its threshold while it was still living for me.
Many of the things I’m about to write down, I’m sure I’ve mentioned before in a scattered way. I can’t say how many times since I don’t often read my own writing. But when someone passes away, a lot gets said about them that has often been expressed in other ways. Now, this beloved old house feels dead to me in a way, and I want to collect my memories and weave a story around them, tying them together like a bouquet as my final tribute: the same flowers I’ve often placed at its doorstep while it was still alive for me.
We Americans are all cuckoos,—we make our homes in the nests of other birds. I have read somewhere that the lineal descendants of the man who carted off the body of William Rufus, with Walter Tyrrel's arrow sticking in it, have driven a cart (not absolutely the same one, I suppose) in the New Forest, from that day to this. I don't quite understand Mr. Ruskin's saying (if he said it) that he couldn't get along in a country where there were no castles, but I do think we lose a great deal in living where there are so few permanent homes. You will see how much I parted with which was not reckoned in the price paid for the old homestead.
We Americans are all a bit crazy—we settle in the nests of other birds. I read somewhere that the direct descendants of the guy who carried off William Rufus's body, with Walter Tyrrel's arrow still in it, have been driving a cart (not exactly the same one, I guess) in the New Forest since then. I don’t really get what Mr. Ruskin meant (if he actually said it) when he said he couldn’t manage in a country without castles, but I do think we miss out on a lot by living in places with so few permanent homes. You’ll see how much I gave up that wasn’t included in the price I paid for the old homestead.
I shall say many things which an uncharitable reader might find fault with as personal. I should not dare to call myself a poet if I did not; for if there is anything that gives one a title to that name, it is that his inner nature is naked and is not ashamed. But there are many such things I shall put in words, not because they are personal, but because they are human, and are born of just such experiences as those who hear or read what I say are like to have had in greater or less measure. I find myself so much like other people that I often wonder at the coincidence. It was only the other day that I sent out a copy of verses about my great-grandmother's picture, and I was surprised to find how many other people had portraits of their great-grandmothers or other progenitors, about which they felt as I did about mine, and for whom I had spoken, thinking I was speaking for myself only. And so I am not afraid to talk very freely with you, my precious reader or listener. You too, Beloved, were born somewhere and remember your birthplace or your early home; for you some house is haunted by recollections; to some roof you have bid farewell. Your hand is upon mine, then, as I guide my pen. Your heart frames the responses to the litany of my remembrance. For myself it is a tribute of affection I am rendering, and I should put it on record for my own satisfaction, were there none to read or to listen.
I’m going to share a lot of thoughts that a critical reader might see as personal. I wouldn’t call myself a poet if I didn’t; after all, if there's one thing that qualifies someone for that title, it's having an open and unembarrassed inner self. But the things I’ll express aren’t just personal; they’re human, stemming from experiences that anyone reading or listening to my words is likely to have encountered in some way. I see so much of myself in other people that I often marvel at how similar we are. Just the other day, I shared a poem about a picture of my great-grandmother, and I was amazed to discover how many others also have portraits of their great-grandmothers or other ancestors, and they feel just as deeply about them as I do about mine, even though I thought I was only expressing my own feelings. So, I’m not hesitant to speak openly with you, my dear reader or listener. You, too, come from somewhere and remember your hometown or early days; for you, there’s a place filled with memories, and you’ve said goodbye to some roof that covers your past. Your hand is on mine as I write. Your heart shapes the replies to the memories I’m sharing. For me, this is a gesture of love, and I’d want to record it for my own peace, even if no one else were here to read or listen.
I hope you will not say that I have built a pillared portico of introduction to a humble structure of narrative. For when you look at the old gambrel-roofed house, you will see an unpretending mansion, such as very possibly you were born in yourself, or at any rate such a place of residence as your minister or some of your well-to-do country cousins find good enough, but not at all too grand for them. We have stately old Colonial palaces in our ancient village, now a city, and a thriving one,—square-fronted edifices that stand back from the vulgar highway, with folded arms, as it were; social fortresses of the time when the twilight lustre of the throne reached as far as our half-cleared settlement, with a glacis before them in the shape of a long broad gravel-walk, so that in King George's time they looked as formidably to any but the silk-stocking gentry as Gibraltar or Ehrenbreitstein to a visitor without the password. We forget all this in the kindly welcome they give us to-day; for some of them are still standing and doubly famous, as we all know. But the gambrel-roofed house, though stately enough for college dignitaries and scholarly clergymen, was not one of those old Tory, Episcopal-church-goer's strongholds. One of its doors opens directly upon the green, always called the Common; the other, facing the south, a few steps from it, over a paved foot-walk, on the other side of which is the miniature front yard, bordered with lilacs and syringas. The honest mansion makes no pretensions. Accessible, companionable, holding its hand out to all, comfortable, respectable, and even in its way dignified, but not imposing, not a house for his Majesty's Counsellor, or the Right Reverend successor of Him who had not where to lay his head, for something like a hundred and fifty years it has stood in its lot, and seen the generations of men come and go like the leaves of the forest. I passed some pleasant hours, a few years since, in the Registry of Deeds and the Town Records, looking up the history of the old house. How those dear friends of mine, the antiquarians, for whose grave councils I compose my features on the too rare Thursdays when I am at liberty to meet them, in whose human herbarium the leaves and blossoms of past generations are so carefully spread out and pressed and laid away, would listen to an expansion of the following brief details into an Historical Memoir!
I hope you won't say that I've created a grand introduction for a simple story. When you look at the old gambrel-roofed house, you'll see a modest home, maybe similar to the one you were born in, or at least the kind of place that your minister or some of your well-off country relatives would find just right, but not too fancy for them. We have impressive old Colonial houses in our ancient village, now a bustling city—square-fronted buildings that stand back from the busy road like social fortresses from a time when the influence of the throne reached our unsettled community, complete with a long gravel walkway in front of them, making them seem as intimidating to anyone not part of the elite as Gibraltar or Ehrenbreitstein would seem to a visitor without the right connections. We forget all of that in the warm welcome they offer us today; some of them are still standing and are well-known, as we all know. But the gambrel-roofed house, while stately enough for college officials and scholarly ministers, wasn’t one of those old Tory, Episcopal bastions. One of its doors opens directly onto the green, always referred to as the Common; the other, facing south, is just a few steps away across a paved walkway, with a small front yard on the other side, lined with lilacs and syringas. The honest house makes no pretensions. It’s inviting, friendly, reaching out to everyone, comfortable, respectable, and even dignified in its own way, but not showy—not a house for a royal advisor or the Right Reverend successor of Him who had nowhere to rest his head. It has stood in its spot for about one hundred and fifty years, watching generations come and go like leaves in the forest. A few years ago, I spent some enjoyable hours in the Registry of Deeds and Town Records, researching the history of the old house. How my dear friends, the antiquarians, whose thoughtful discussions I try to keep a serious face for on the rare Thursdays I can meet them, would love to see these brief details expanded into a full Historical Memoir!
The estate was the third lot of the eighth “Squadron” (whatever that might be), and in the year 1707 was allotted in the distribution of undivided lands to “Mr. ffox,” the Reverend Jabez Fox of Woburn, it may be supposed, as it passed from his heirs to the first Jonathan Hastings; from him to his son, the long remembered College Steward; from him in the year 1792 to the Reverend Eliphalet Pearson, Professor of Hebrew and other Oriental languages in Harvard College, whose large personality swam into my ken when I was looking forward to my teens; from him the progenitors of my unborn self.
The estate was the third lot of the eighth “Squadron” (whatever that means), and in 1707, it was given out in the distribution of undivided lands to “Mr. ffox,” likely the Reverend Jabez Fox of Woburn. It then transferred to his heirs, and eventually to the first Jonathan Hastings; from there, it went to his son, the well-remembered College Steward; then in 1792, it passed to the Reverend Eliphalet Pearson, who was a Professor of Hebrew and other Oriental languages at Harvard College. His influential presence was notable to me when I was approaching my teenage years; from him, it continued to my future ancestors.
I wonder if there are any such beings nowadays as the great Eliphalet, with his large features and conversational basso profundo, seemed to me. His very name had something elephantine about it, and it seemed to me that the house shook from cellar to garret at his footfall. Some have pretended that he had Olympian aspirations, and wanted to sit in the seat of Jove and bear the academic thunderbolt and the aegis inscribed Christo et Ecclesiae. It is a common weakness enough to wish to find one's self in an empty saddle; Cotton Mather was miserable all his days, I am afraid, after that entry in his Diary: “This Day Dr. Sewall was chosen President, for his Piety.”
I wonder if there are still beings like the great Eliphalet, with his big features and deep voice, as I remember him. His very name had an elephant-like quality, and it felt like the house shook from the basement to the attic with his footsteps. Some have claimed that he had grand ambitions and wanted to take Jove’s place, wielding the academic thunderbolt and the shield marked Christo et Ecclesiae. It’s a common weakness to want to find yourself in an empty saddle; Cotton Mather was miserable all his life, I’m afraid, after that line in his diary: “This Day Dr. Sewall was chosen President, for his Piety.”
There is no doubt that the men of the older generation look bigger and more formidable to the boys whose eyes are turned up at their venerable countenances than the race which succeeds them, to the same boys grown older. Everything is twice as large, measured on a three-year-olds three-foot scale as on a thirty-year-olds six-foot scale; but age magnifies and aggravates persons out of due proportion. Old people are a kind of monsters to little folks; mild manifestations of the terrible, it may be, but still, with their white locks and ridged and grooved features, which those horrid little eyes exhaust of their details, like so many microscopes not exactly what human beings ought to be. The middle-aged and young men have left comparatively faint impressions in my memory, but how grandly the procession of the old clergymen who filled our pulpit from time to time, and passed the day under our roof, marches before my closed eyes! At their head the most venerable David Osgood, the majestic minister of Medford, with massive front and shaggy over-shadowing eyebrows; following in the train, mild-eyed John Foster of Brighton, with the lambent aurora of a smile about his pleasant mouth, which not even the “Sabbath” could subdue to the true Levitical aspect; and bulky Charles Steams of Lincoln, author of “The Ladies' Philosophy of Love. A Poem. 1797” (how I stared at him! he was the first living person ever pointed out to me as a poet); and Thaddeus Mason Harris of Dorchester (the same who, a poor youth, trudging along, staff in hand, being then in a stress of sore need, found all at once that somewhat was adhering to the end of his stick, which somewhat proved to be a gold ring of price, bearing the words, “God speed thee, Friend!”), already in decadence as I remember him, with head slanting forward and downward as if looking for a place to rest in after his learned labors; and that other Thaddeus, the old man of West Cambridge, who outwatched the rest so long after they had gone to sleep in their own churchyards, that it almost seemed as if he meant to sit up until the morning of the resurrection; and bringing up the rear, attenuated but vivacious little Jonathan Homer of Newton, who was, to look upon, a kind of expurgated, reduced and Americanized copy of Voltaire, but very unlike him in wickedness or wit. The good-humored junior member of our family always loved to make him happy by setting him chirruping about Miles Coverdale's Version, and the Bishop's Bible, and how he wrote to his friend Sir Isaac (Coffin) about something or other, and how Sir Isaac wrote back that he was very much pleased with the contents of his letter, and so on about Sir Isaac, ad libitum,—for the admiral was his old friend, and he was proud of him. The kindly little old gentleman was a collector of Bibles, and made himself believe he thought he should publish a learned Commentary some day or other; but his friends looked for it only in the Greek Calends,—say on the 31st of April, when that should come round, if you would modernize the phrase. I recall also one or two exceptional and infrequent visitors with perfect distinctness: cheerful Elijah Kellogg, a lively missionary from the region of the Quoddy Indians, with much hopeful talk about Sock Bason and his tribe; also poor old Poor-house-Parson Isaac Smith, his head going like a China mandarin, as he discussed the possibilities of the escape of that distinguished captive whom he spoke of under the name, if I can reproduce phonetically its vibrating nasalities of “General Mmbongaparty,”—a name suggestive to my young imagination of a dangerous, loose-jointed skeleton, threatening us all like the armed figure of Death in my little New England Primer.
There’s no doubt that the older generation looks bigger and more intimidating to the boys who gaze up at their aged faces than the younger generation does to the same boys as they grow up. Everything seems twice as large when viewed from a three-year-old's three-foot perspective compared to a thirty-year-old's six-foot perspective; but age exaggerates and distorts people out of proportion. To little ones, older people are kind of like monsters; they may be mild versions of something scary, but with their white hair and wrinkled features, which those tiny, horrified eyes study in detail like microscopes, they don’t quite look like what human beings should. The middle-aged and younger men leave fairly faint impressions in my memory, but I can vividly recall the procession of old clergymen who filled our pulpit from time to time and spent the day under our roof! Leading the group was the venerable David Osgood, the majestic minister from Medford, with a strong forehead and bushy eyebrows; followed closely by soft-eyed John Foster of Brighton, whose gentle smile couldn’t even be subdued by the “Sabbath” to appear completely serious; and bulky Charles Steams from Lincoln, author of “The Ladies' Philosophy of Love. A Poem. 1797” (I stared at him! He was the first living poet I was pointed out to); and Thaddeus Mason Harris of Dorchester (the same man who, as a struggling youth, discovered a gold ring attached to his staff, which bore the words, “God speed thee, Friend!”), who I remember was already in decline, with his head leaning forward as if searching for a place to rest after his scholarly efforts; and another Thaddeus, the old man from West Cambridge, who stayed awake longer than the others, almost as if he intended to wait until the morning of resurrection; and finally, the slim but lively little Jonathan Homer from Newton, who looked like a toned-down, Americanized version of Voltaire, but was nothing like him in wickedness or wit. The good-natured junior member of our family loved to cheer him up by getting him to talk about Miles Coverdale's Version, the Bishop's Bible, and how he wrote to his friend Sir Isaac (Coffin) about something, and how Sir Isaac replied that he was really pleased with his letter, and so on about Sir Isaac, endlessly — for the admiral was his old friend, and he took pride in him. This kind little old man was a Bible collector, and convinced himself that he should publish a scholarly Commentary someday; but his friends expected to see it only on the Greek Calends—say, on the 31st of April, if that ever comes around, if you modernize the phrase. I also clearly remember one or two rare visitors: cheerful Elijah Kellogg, a lively missionary from the Quoddy Indians, who had plenty of hopeful talk about Sock Bason and his tribe; and poor old “Poor-house” Parson Isaac Smith, whose head bobbed like a Chinese mandarin as he discussed the potential escape of a famous captive he referred to as “General Mmbongaparty”—a name that sparked in my young imagination the image of a dangerous, loose-jointed skeleton, threatening us like the figure of Death in my little New England Primer.
I have mentioned only the names of those whose images come up pleasantly before me, and I do not mean to say anything which any descendant might not read smilingly. But there were some of the black-coated gentry whose aspect was not so agreeable to me. It is very curious to me to look back on my early likes and dislikes, and see how as a child I was attracted or repelled by such and such ministers, a good deal, as I found out long afterwards, according to their theological beliefs. On the whole, I think the old-fashioned New England divine softening down into Arminianism was about as agreeable as any of them. And here I may remark, that a mellowing rigorist is always a much pleasanter object to contemplate than a tightening liberal, as a cold day warming up to 32 Fahrenheit is much more agreeable than a warm one chilling down to the same temperature. The least pleasing change is that kind of mental hemiplegia which now and then attacks the rational side of a man at about the same period of life when one side of the body is liable to be palsied, and in fact is, very probably, the same thing as palsy, in another form. The worst of it is that the subjects of it never seem to suspect that they are intellectual invalids, stammerers and cripples at best, but are all the time hitting out at their old friends with the well arm, and calling them hard names out of their twisted mouths.
I’ve only mentioned the names of those whose images come to mind in a pleasant way, and I don’t intend to say anything that any descendant couldn't read with a smile. However, there were some members of the black-coated elite whose presence I didn’t find agreeable. It’s quite interesting for me to look back on my early preferences and aversions, and see how, as a child, I was drawn to or repelled by certain ministers, which I later realized was largely influenced by their theological beliefs. Overall, I think the old-fashioned New England minister gradually shifting towards Arminianism was among the most agreeable of them. I should also note that a strict person who becomes more lenient is always more pleasant to consider than a liberal who becomes more rigid, similar to how a cold day warming up to 32 degrees Fahrenheit is much more agreeable than a warm one cooling down to the same temperature. The least pleasant change is that kind of mental paralysis that occasionally affects one side of a person’s thoughts around the same age when one side of the body can be paralyzed, and in fact, it’s probably just another form of paralysis. The worst part is that those who experience it never seem to realize they are intellectual invalids, stumbling and struggling at best, yet are constantly lashing out at their old friends with their functional side, and hurling insults with their twisted words.
It was a real delight to have one of those good, hearty, happy, benignant old clergymen pass the Sunday, with us, and I can remember some whose advent made the day feel almost like “Thanksgiving.” But now and then would come along a clerical visitor with a sad face and a wailing voice, which sounded exactly as if somebody must be lying dead up stairs, who took no interest in us children, except a painful one, as being in a bad way with our cheery looks, and did more to unchristianize us with his woebegone ways than all his sermons were like to accomplish in the other direction. I remember one in particular, who twitted me so with my blessings as a Christian child, and whined so to me about the naked black children who, like the “Little Vulgar Boy,” “had n't got no supper and hadn't got no ma,” and hadn't got no Catechism, (how I wished for the moment I was a little black boy!) that he did more in that one day to make me a heathen than he had ever done in a month to make a Christian out of an infant Hottentot. What a debt we owe to our friends of the left centre, the Brooklyn and the Park Street and the Summer street ministers; good, wholesome, sound-bodied, one-minded, cheerful-spirited men, who have taken the place of those wailing poitrinaires with the bandanna handkerchiefs round their meagre throats and a funeral service in their forlorn physiognomies! I might have been a minister myself, for aught I know, if this clergyman had not looked and talked so like an undertaker.
It was a real pleasure to have one of those kind, cheerful, old clergymen spend Sunday with us, and I remember some whose arrival made the day feel almost like “Thanksgiving.” But now and then, a visiting pastor would come with a sad face and a whiny voice, making it seem like someone was lying dead upstairs. He showed no interest in us kids, except in a painful way, as if we were somehow a problem with our happy faces. He did more to turn us away from Christianity with his gloomy demeanor than all his sermons could ever achieve in the opposite direction. I remember one in particular who scolded me for my blessings as a Christian child and complained to me about the naked black children who, like the “Little Vulgar Boy,” “didn’t have any supper and didn’t have a mom,” and didn’t have a Catechism. (How I wished, for a moment, that I was a little black boy!) He did more in that one day to make me feel like a heathen than he had ever done in a month to create a Christian out of an infant Hottentot. What a debt we owe to our friends from the left, the ministers from Brooklyn, Park Street, and Summer Street; good, decent, healthy, single-minded, cheerful men who have taken the place of those mournful preachers with bandanna handkerchiefs around their thin necks and a funeral air about them! I might have been a minister myself, for all I know, if that clergyman hadn’t looked and talked so much like an undertaker.
All this belongs to one of the side-shows, to which I promised those who would take tickets to the main exhibition should have entrance gratis. If I were writing a poem you would expect, as a matter of course, that there would be a digression now and then.
All this is part of one of the side shows, for which I promised that those who bought tickets to the main exhibition would get free entry. If I were writing a poem, you would naturally expect that there would be a few digressions now and then.
To come back to the old house and its former tenant, the Professor of Hebrew and other Oriental languages. Fifteen years he lived with his family under its roof. I never found the slightest trace of him until a few years ago, when I cleaned and brightened with pious hands the brass lock of “the study,” which had for many years been covered with a thick coat of paint. On that I found scratched; as with a nail or fork, the following inscription:
To return to the old house and its previous occupant, the Professor of Hebrew and other Oriental languages. He lived there with his family for fifteen years. I never discovered any evidence of him until a few years ago when I cleaned and polished the brass lock of “the study,” which had been hidden under layers of paint for many years. On it, I found scratched—probably with a nail or fork—the following inscription:
E PE
E PE
Only that and nothing more, but the story told itself. Master Edward Pearson, then about as high as the lock, was disposed to immortalize himself in monumental brass, and had got so far towards it, when a sudden interruption, probably a smart box on the ear, cheated him of his fame, except so far as this poor record may rescue it. Dead long ago. I remember him well, a grown man, as a visitor at a later period; and, for some reason, I recall him in the attitude of the Colossus of Rhodes, standing full before a generous wood-fire, not facing it, but quite the contrary, a perfect picture of the content afforded by a blazing hearth contemplated from that point of view, and, as the heat stole through his person and kindled his emphatic features, seeming to me a pattern of manly beauty. What a statue gallery of posturing friends we all have in our memory! The old Professor himself sometimes visited the house after it had changed hands. Of course, my recollections are not to be wholly trusted, but I always think I see his likeness in a profile face to be found among the illustrations of Rees's Cyclopaedia. (See Plates, Vol. IV., Plate 2, Painting, Diversities of the Human Face, Fig. 4.)
Only that and nothing more, but the story told itself. Master Edward Pearson, then about as tall as the lock, wanted to make a name for himself in monumental brass, and he had made some progress toward it when a sudden interruption, likely a sharp slap to the face, robbed him of his fame, except for this meager account that might save it. Long gone. I remember him well, an adult, as a visitor at a later time; and, for some reason, I picture him like the Colossus of Rhodes, standing right in front of a generous wood fire, not facing it, but rather the opposite, a perfect image of the satisfaction a blazing hearth offers when viewed from that angle, and as the heat warmed him and illuminated his striking features, he seemed to me like a model of masculine beauty. What a gallery of posed friends we all have in our memories! The old Professor himself sometimes came by the house after it had changed hands. Of course, my memories aren’t completely reliable, but I always think I recognize his likeness in a profile illustration found in Rees's Cyclopaedia. (See Plates, Vol. IV., Plate 2, Painting, Diversities of the Human Face, Fig. 4.)
And now let us return to our chief picture. In the days of my earliest remembrance, a row of tall Lombardy poplars mounted guard on the western side of the old mansion. Whether, like the cypress, these trees suggest the idea of the funeral torch or the monumental spire, whether their tremulous leaves make wits afraid by sympathy with their nervous thrills, whether the faint balsamic smell of their foliage and their closely swathed limbs have in them vague hints of dead Pharaohs stiffened in their cerements, I will guess; but they always seemed to me to give an of sepulchral sadness to the house before which stood sentries. Not so with the row of elms which you may see leading up towards the western entrance. I think the patriarch of them all went over in the great gale of 1815; I know I used to shake the youngest of them with my hands, stout as it is now, with a trunk that would defy the bully of Crotona, or the strong man whose liaison with the Lady Delilah proved so disastrous.
And now let's go back to our main scene. In my earliest memories, a row of tall Lombardy poplars stood watch on the west side of the old mansion. Whether, like the cypress, these trees remind us of funeral torches or towering monuments, whether their trembling leaves stir up feelings of nervousness, or whether the faint, sweet smell of their leaves and closely wrapped branches carry vague hints of long-dead pharaohs wrapped in their burial cloths, I'll leave for you to decide; but they always seemed to give a sense of gloomy sadness to the house they guarded. Not so with the row of elms leading up to the western entrance. I think the oldest of them fell during the great storm of 1815; I remember I used to shake the youngest one with my hands, even though it's strong now, with a trunk that could stand up to the toughest of fighters from Crotona, or the strong man whose affair with Lady Delilah ended so badly.
The College plain would be nothing without its elms. As the long hair of a woman is a glory to her, are these green tresses that bank themselves against sky in thick clustered masses the ornament and the pride of the classic green. You know the “Washington elm,” or if you do not, you had better rekindle our patriotism by reading the inscription, which tells you that under its shadow the great leader first drew his sword at the head of an American army. In a line with that you may see two others: the coral fan, as I always called it from its resemblance in form to that beautiful marine growth, and a third a little farther along. I have heard it said that all three were planted at the same time, and that the difference of their growth is due to the slope of the ground,—the Washington elm being lower than either of the others. There is a row of elms just in front of the old house on the south. When I was a child the one at the southwest corner was struck by lightning, and one of its limbs and a long ribbon of bark torn away. The tree never fully recovered its symmetry and vigor, and forty years and more afterwards a second thunderbolt crashed upon it and set its heart on fire, like those of the lost souls in the Hall of Eblis. Heaven had twice blasted it, and the axe finished what the lightning had begun.
The College plain would be nothing without its elms. Just like a woman’s long hair is her pride, these green canopies that spread against the sky in thick clusters are the ornaments and the pride of the classic green. You know the “Washington elm,” or if you don’t, you should spark your patriotism by reading the inscription that tells you under its shade the great leader first drew his sword at the head of an American army. In line with that, you can see two others: the coral fan, as I always called it for its resemblance to that beautiful marine growth, and a third a little further along. I’ve heard that all three were planted at the same time, and the difference in their growth is due to the slope of the ground—the Washington elm being lower than the others. There’s a row of elms right in front of the old house on the south. When I was a kid, one at the southwest corner was struck by lightning, tearing off one of its limbs and a long strip of bark. The tree never fully regained its shape and strength, and over forty years later, a second bolt hit it and set its heart on fire, like those of the lost souls in the Hall of Eblis. Heaven had twice struck it down, and the axe completed what the lightning had started.
The soil of the University town is divided into patches of sandy and of clayey ground. The Common and the College green, near which the old house stands, are on one of the sandy patches. Four curses are the local inheritance: droughts, dust, mud, and canker-worms. I cannot but think that all the characters of a region help to modify the children born in it. I am fond of making apologies for human nature, and I think I could find an excuse for myself if I, too, were dry and barren and muddy-witted and “cantankerous,”—disposed to get my back up, like those other natives of the soil.
The soil in the university town is made up of areas with sandy and clayey ground. The Common and the College green, where the old house is located, sit on one of the sandy areas. There are four curses that come with the territory: droughts, dust, mud, and cankerworms. I can’t help but think that all the characteristics of a region influence the children born there. I like to make excuses for human nature, and I believe I could justify my own behavior if I were also dry, barren, muddled, and “cantankerous”—tending to be defensive, just like those other locals.
I know this, that the way Mother Earth treats a boy shapes out a kind of natural theology for him. I fell into Manichean ways of thinking from the teaching of my garden experiences. Like other boys in the country, I had my patch of ground, to which, in the spring-time, I entrusted the seeds furnished me, with a confident trust in their resurrection and glorification in the better world of summer. But I soon found that my lines had fallen in a place where a vegetable growth had to run the gauntlet of as many foes and dials as a Christian pilgrim. Flowers would not Blow; daffodils perished like criminals in their cone demned caps, without their petals ever seeing daylight; roses were disfigured with monstrous protrusions through their very centres,—something that looked like a second bud pushing through the middle of the corolla; lettuces and cabbages would not head; radishes knotted themselves until they looked like centenerians' fingers; and on every stem, on every leaf, and both sides of it, and at the root of everything that dew, was a professional specialist in the shape of grub, caterpillar, aphis, or other expert, whose business it was to devour that particular part, and help order the whole attempt at vegetation. Such experiences must influence a child born to them. A sandy soil, where nothing flourishes but weeds and evil beasts of small dimensions, must breed different qualities in its human offspring from one of those fat and fertile spots which the wit whom I have once before noted described so happily that, if I quoted the passage, its brilliancy would spoil one of my pages, as a diamond breastpin sometimes kills the social effect of the wearer, who might have passed for a gentleman without it. Your arid patch of earth should seem to the natural birthplace of the leaner virtues and the abler vices,—of temperance and the domestic proprieties on the one hand, with a tendency to light weights in groceries and provisions, and to clandestine abstraction from the person on the other, as opposed to the free hospitality, the broadly planned burglaries, and the largely conceived homicides of our rich Western alluvial regions. Yet Nature is never wholly unkind. Economical as she was in my unparadised Eden, hard as it was to make some of my floral houris unveil, still the damask roses sweetened the June breezes, the bladed and plumed flower-de-luces unfolded their close-wrapped cones, and larkspurs and lupins, lady's delights,—plebeian manifestations of the pansy,—self-sowing marigolds, hollyhocks, the forest flowers of two seasons, and the perennial lilacs and syringas,—all whispered to' the winds blowing over them that some caressing presence was around me.
I understand this: the way Mother Earth treats a boy shapes his understanding of life. I started thinking in black-and-white terms from my experiences in the garden. Like other boys in the countryside, I had my own little patch of land where, in the spring, I confidently planted the seeds given to me, believing they would come back to life and thrive in the warm summer. But I quickly discovered that my plot was a battleground, facing as many threats and challenges as a Christian pilgrim. Flowers wouldn’t bloom; daffodils died like criminals in their condemned caps, never seeing the light of day; roses grew with strange protrusions through their centers, like a second bud trying to push through; lettuces and cabbages wouldn’t form heads; radishes twisted themselves until they looked like the gnarled fingers of old people; and on every stem, every leaf, and at the roots, there was a specialized pest—grubs, caterpillars, aphids, or others—whose job it was to devour that particular part and ruin my whole gardening effort. These experiences shape the lives of children born into them. Sandy soil, where only weeds and small, harmful creatures thrive, must create different qualities in its human offspring compared to rich, fertile areas that a clever writer once described so well that quoting it would diminish my writing, like a diamond pin overshadowing the natural elegance of its wearer, who might otherwise have been seen as a gentleman. Your barren patch of land seems to be the birthplace of leaner virtues and sharper vices—like moderation and proper home life on one side, along with a tendency for cheap food and sneaky theft on the other, contrasting with the generous hospitality, grand thefts, and large-scale crimes found in our wealthy Western river valleys. Still, Nature isn’t completely unkind. Even in my less-than-perfect Eden, as tough as it was to get some of my floral companions to bloom, the damask roses brought sweetness to the June air, the elegant flower-de-luces opened their tightly wrapped buds, and larkspurs and lupins, charming but simple flowers like pansies, self-sowing marigolds, hollyhocks, the wildflowers of two seasons, and the enduring lilacs and syringas—all whispered to the winds that some loving presence was watching over me.
Beyond the garden was “the field,” a vast domain of four acres or thereabout, by the measurement of after years, bordered to the north by a fathomless chasm,—the ditch the base-ball players of the present era jump over; on the east by unexplored territory; on the south by a barren enclosure, where the red sorrel proclaimed liberty and equality under its drapeau rouge, and succeeded in establishing a vegetable commune where all were alike, poor, mean, sour, and uninteresting; and on the west by the Common, not then disgraced by jealous enclosures, which make it look like a cattle-market. Beyond, as I looked round, were the Colleges, the meeting-house, the little square market-house, long vanished; the burial-ground where the dead Presidents stretched their weary bones under epitaphs stretched out at as full length as their subjects; the pretty church where the gouty Tories used to kneel on their hassocks; the district schoolhouse, and hard by it Ma'am Hancock's cottage, never so called in those days, but rather “tenfooter”; then houses scattered near and far, open spaces, the shadowy elms, round hilltops in the distance, and over all the great bowl of the sky. Mind you, this was the WORLD, as I first knew it; terra veteribus cognita, as Mr. Arrowsmith would have called it, if he had mapped the universe of my infancy:
Beyond the garden was “the field,” a large area of about four acres, as measured years later, bordered to the north by an endless pit—the ditch that today’s baseball players jump over; to the east by uncharted land; to the south by a barren area where the red sorrel proclaimed freedom and equality under its red flag, creating a vegetable commune where everyone was the same: poor, dull, sour, and unremarkable; and to the west by the Common, not yet ruined by envious fences that made it resemble a cattle market. Beyond, as I looked around, were the Colleges, the meeting house, the little square market house, long gone; the burial ground where deceased Presidents lay beneath epitaphs that stretched as long as their subjects; the lovely church where the ill-tempered Tories used to kneel on their cushions; the local schoolhouse, and right next to it, Ma'am Hancock's cottage, which wasn’t called that back then, but rather “tenfooter”; then houses scattered near and far, open spaces, the shadowy elms, distant round hilltops, and above all, the vast sky. Keep in mind, this was the WORLD, as I first knew it; terra veteribus cognita, as Mr. Arrowsmith would have called it if he had charted the universe of my childhood:
But I am forgetting the old house again in the landscape. The worst of a modern stylish mansion is, that it has no place for ghosts. I watched one building not long since. It had no proper garret, to begin with, only a sealed interval between the roof and attics, where a spirit could not be accommodated, unless it were flattened out like Ravel, Brother, after the millstone had fallen on him. There was not a nook or a corner in the whole horse fit to lodge any respectable ghost, for every part was as open to observation as a literary man's character and condition, his figure and estate, his coat and his countenance, are to his (or her) Bohemian Majesty on a tour of inspection through his (or her) subjects' keyholes.
But I'm forgetting the old house again in the landscape. The worst thing about a modern stylish mansion is that it has no room for ghosts. I recently saw a building that didn’t even have a proper attic, just a sealed off space between the roof and the upstairs, where a spirit couldn’t settle unless it was flattened like Ravel, Brother, after the millstone dropped on him. There wasn’t a nook or cranny in the entire place fit for any respectable ghost because every part was as open to scrutiny as a writer’s character and situation, their appearance and wealth, their clothes and their face, are to their Bohemian Majesty on a tour of inspection through their subjects’ keyholes.
Now the old house had wainscots, behind which the mice were always scampering and squeaking and rattling down the plaster, and enacting family scenes and parlor theatricals. It had a cellar where the cold slug clung to the walls, and the misanthropic spider withdrew from the garish day; where the green mould loved to grow, and the long white potato-shoots went feeling along the floor, if haply they might find the daylight; it had great brick pillars, always in a cold sweat with holding up the burden they had been aching under day and night far a century and more; it had sepulchral arches closed by rough doors that hung on hinges rotten with rust, behind which doors, if there was not a heap of bones connected with a mysterious disappearance of long ago, there well might have been, for it was just the place to look for them. It had a garret; very nearly such a one as it seems to me one of us has described in one of his books; but let us look at this one as I can reproduce it from memory. It has a flooring of laths with ridges of mortar squeezed up between them, which if you tread on you will go to—the Lord have mercy on you! where will you go to?—the same being crossed by narrow bridges of boards, on which you may put your feet, but with fear and trembling. Above you and around you are beams and joists, on some of which you may see, when the light is let in, the marks of the conchoidal clippings of the broadaxe, showing the rude way in which the timber was shaped as it came, full of sap, from the neighboring forest. It is a realm of darkness and thick dust, and shroud-like cobwebs and dead things they wrap in their gray folds. For a garret is like a seashore, where wrecks are thrown up and slowly go to pieces. There is the cradle which the old man you just remember was rocked in; there is the ruin of the bedstead he died on; that ugly slanting contrivance used to be put under his pillow in the days when his breath came hard; there is his old chair with both arms gone, symbol of the desolate time when he had nothing earthly left to lean on; there is the large wooden reel which the blear-eyed old deacon sent the minister's lady, who thanked him graciously, and twirled it smilingly, and in fitting season bowed it out decently to the limbo of troublesome conveniences. And there are old leather portmanteaus, like stranded porpoises, their mouths gaping in gaunt hunger for the food with which they used to be gorged to bulging repletion; and old brass andirons, waiting until time shall revenge them on their paltry substitutes, and they shall have their own again, and bring with them the fore-stick and the back-log of ancient days; and the empty churn, with its idle dasher, which the Nancys and Phoebes, who have left their comfortable places to the Bridgets and Norahs, used to handle to good purpose; and the brown, shaky old spinning-wheel, which was running, it may be, in the days when they were hinging the Salem witches.
Now the old house had wainscoting, behind which the mice were always scampering, squeaking, and rattling down the plaster, putting on family shows and theatrical performances. It had a cellar where the cold damp clung to the walls, and the grumpy spider hid from the bright day; where the green mold thrived, and long white potato shoots searched along the floor, hoping to find the light; it had great brick pillars, always sweating from the strain of supporting the weight they had carried for over a century; it had spooky arches sealed by rough doors that hung on hinges rotting with rust. Behind those doors, if there wasn't a pile of bones relating to a long-ago mystery, there easily could have been, since it was just the kind of place to look for them. It had an attic, very much like the one a friend of mine described in one of his books; but let me share how I remember this one. It has a floor made of laths with ridges of mortar pushed up between them, which if you step on, you’ll—God have mercy on you! where will you go?—the same being crossed by narrow planks that you can step on, but with fear and trembling. Above you and around you are beams and joists, some of which, when the light comes in, show the marks from the rough cuts of the broadaxe, highlighting the crude way the timber was shaped as it came, full of sap, from the nearby forest. It’s a realm of darkness, thick dust, shroud-like cobwebs, and dead things wrapped in their gray folds. An attic is like a seashore, where wrecks are washed ashore and slowly fall apart. There’s the cradle that the old man you faintly remember was rocked in; there’s the ruined bed he died on; that ugly slanting contraption used to be placed under his pillow when it was hard for him to breathe; there’s his old chair with both arms missing, a symbol of the lonely time when he had nothing to lean on; there’s the large wooden reel the blear-eyed old deacon sent to the minister's wife, who graciously thanked him, twirling it with a smile, and when the time came, set it aside politely to the limbo of annoying conveniences. And there are old leather suitcases, like stranded porpoises, their mouths gaping in hunger for the belongings that once filled them to bursting; and old brass andirons, waiting for the day they can take revenge on their cheap substitutes and reclaim their rightful place along with the fore-stick and back-log of days gone by; and the empty churn, with its idle dasher, which the Nancys and Phoebes, who have given their comfortable spots to the Bridgets and Norahs, used to handle well; and the brown, shaky old spinning wheel, which may have still been in use during the days of the Salem witch trials.
Under the dark and haunted garret were attic chambers which themselves had histories. On a pane in the northeastern chamber may be read these names:
Under the dark and haunted attic were rooms that had their own stories. On a window pane in the northeastern room, you can read these names:
“John Tracy,” “Robert Roberts,” “Thomas Prince;” “Stultus” another hand had added. When I found these names a few years ago (wrong side up, for the window had been reversed), I looked at once in the Triennial to find them, for the epithet showed that they were probably students. I found them all under the years 1771 and 1773. Does it please their thin ghosts thus to be dragged to the light of day? Has “Stultus” forgiven the indignity of being thus characterized?
“John Tracy,” “Robert Roberts,” “Thomas Prince;” “Stultus” another hand had added. When I discovered these names a few years ago (upside down, because the window had been flipped), I immediately checked the Triennial to find them, since the epithet indicated that they were likely students. I found them all listed under the years 1771 and 1773. Do their faint spirits enjoy being brought into the light like this? Has “Stultus” come to terms with the insult of being labeled like that?
The southeast chamber was the Library Hospital. Every scholar should have a book infirmary attached his library. There should find a peaceable refuge the many books, invalids from their birth, which are sent “with the best regards of the Author”; the respected, but unpresentable cripples which have lost cover; the odd volumes of honored sets which go mourning all their days for their lost brother; the school-books which have been so often the subjects of assault and battery, that they look as if the police must know them by heart; these and still more the pictured story-books, beginning with Mother Goose (which a dear old friend of mine has just been amusing his philosophic leisure with turning most ingeniously and happily into the tongues of Virgil and Homer), will be precious mementos by and by, when children and grandchildren come along. What would I not give for that dear little paper-bound quarto, in large and most legible type, on certain pages of which the tender hand that was the shield of my infancy had crossed out with deep black marks something awful, probably about BEARS, such as once tare two-and-forty of us little folks for making faces, and the very name of which made us hide our heads under the bedclothes.
The southeast room was the Library Hospital. Every scholar should have a book infirmary connected to their library. There, you could find a peaceful refuge for the many books, sick since their inception, which are sent “with the best regards of the Author”; the respected, but unpresentable copies that have lost their covers; the odd volumes of cherished sets that mourn forever for their lost siblings; the textbooks that have been attacked so often they look like they should be recognized by the police; these and many more, including the illustrated storybooks, starting with Mother Goose (which a dear old friend of mine has recently enjoyed skillfully translating into the languages of Virgil and Homer), will be treasured memories when children and grandchildren come along. What wouldn’t I give for that beloved little paperback quarto, in large and very clear type, on certain pages of which the gentle hand that protected my childhood had marked out in thick black lines something terrifying, probably about BEARS, such as once terrified two dozen of us kids for making faces, and the mere mention of which made us hide under the bedcovers.
I made strange acquaintances in that book infirmary up in the southeast attic. The “Negro Plot” at New York helped to implant a feeling in me which it took Mr. Garrison a good many years to root out. “Thinks I to Myself,” an old novel, which has been attributed to a famous statesman, introduced me to a world of fiction which was not represented on the shelves of the library proper, unless perhaps by Coelebs in Search of a Wife, or allegories of the bitter tonic class, as the young doctor that sits on the other side of the table would probably call them. I always, from an early age, had a keen eye for a story with a moral sticking out of it, and gave it a wide berth, though in my later years I have myself written a couple of “medicated novels,” as one of my dearest and pleasantest old friends wickedly called them, when somebody asked her if she had read the last of my printed performances. I forgave the satire for the charming esprit of the epithet. Besides the works I have mentioned, there was an old, old Latin alchemy book, with the manuscript annotations of some ancient Rosicrucian, in the pages of which I had a vague notion that I might find the mighty secret of the Lapis Philosophorum, otherwise called Chaos, the Dragon, the Green Lion, the Quinta Essentia, the Soap of Sages, the Vinegar of Philosophers, the Dew of Heavenly Grace, the Egg, the Old Man, the Sun, the Moon, and by all manner of odd aliases, as I am assured by the plethoric little book before me, in parchment covers browned like a meerschaum with the smoke of furnaces and the thumbing of dead gold seekers, and the fingering of bony-handed book-misers, and the long intervals of dusty slumber on the shelves of the bouquiniste; for next year it will be three centuries old, and it had already seen nine generations of men when I caught its eye (Alchemiae Doctrina) and recognized it at pistol-shot distance as a prize, among the breviaries and Heures and trumpery volumes of the old open-air dealer who exposed his treasures under the shadow of St. Sulpice. I have never lost my taste for alchemy since I first got hold of the Palladium Spagyricum of Peter John Faber, and sought—in vain, it is true—through its pages for a clear, intelligible, and practical statement of how I could turn my lead sinkers and the weights of tall kitchen clock into good yellow gold, specific gravity 19.2, and exchangeable for whatever I then wanted, and for many more things than I was then aware of. One of the greatest pleasures of childhood found in the mysteries which it hides from the skepticism of the elders, and works up into small mythologies of its own. I have seen all this played over again in adult life,—the same delightful bewilderment semi-emotional belief in listening to the gaseous praises of this or that fantastic system, that I found in the pleasing mirages conjured up for me by the ragged old volume I used to pore over in the southeast attic-chamber.
I made some unusual friends in that book room up in the southeast attic. The "Negro Plot" in New York left me with a feeling that took Mr. Garrison many years to shake off. “Thinks I to Myself,” an old novel attributed to a famous statesman, exposed me to a world of fiction not found in the main library, unless you count Coelebs in Search of a Wife, or those bitter moral tales, as the young doctor on the other side of the table would probably call them. From a young age, I always had a knack for spotting stories with a moral at their core, and I tended to avoid them. Yet in my later years, I wrote a couple of “medicated novels,” as one of my dear and witty friends jokingly called them when someone asked if she had read my latest work. I forgave her for the jab because of the charming spirit behind the term. In addition to the works I've mentioned, there was an old Latin alchemy book with handwritten notes from some ancient Rosicrucian. I had a vague idea that I might find the great secret of the Lapis Philosophorum, also known as Chaos, the Dragon, the Green Lion, the Quinta Essentia, the Soap of Sages, the Vinegar of Philosophers, the Dew of Heavenly Grace, the Egg, the Old Man, the Sun, the Moon, and a bunch of other odd names, as I learned from the hefty little book in front of me, with parchment covers worn like a meerschaum from the smoke of furnaces and the touch of long-dead gold seekers and the greed of book hoarders, after many years of dusty slumber among the shelves of the used book dealer. Next year, it will be three centuries old, and it had already witnessed nine generations of men when I noticed it (Alchemiae Doctrina) and recognized it from a distance as a treasure among the prayer books and other trinkets of the old seller who showcased his finds under the shadow of St. Sulpice. I’ve never lost my interest in alchemy since I first got my hands on the Palladium Spagyricum of Peter John Faber and searched—though in vain—through its pages for a clear, practical way to turn my lead sinkers and weights from tall kitchen clocks into good yellow gold, specific gravity 19.2, which I could trade for whatever I wanted, and even more than I knew at the time. One of the greatest joys of childhood is discovering those mysteries hidden from the skepticism of adults, creating small mythologies of its own. I’ve seen all this replay in my adult life—the same delightful confusion and semi-emotional belief in the praises of this or that fantastical system, much like the enjoyable illusions conjured up for me by the tattered old book I used to read in the southeast attic room.
The rooms of the second story, the chambers of birth and death, are sacred to silent memories.
The rooms on the second floor, the spaces of birth and death, hold sacred silent memories.
Let us go down to the ground-floor. I should have begun with this, but that the historical reminiscences of the old house have been recently told in a most interesting memoir by a distinguished student of our local history. I retain my doubts about those “dents” on the floor of the right-hand room, “the study” of successive occupants, said to have been made by the butts of the Continental militia's firelocks, but this was the cause to which the story told me in childhood laid them. That military consultations were held in that room when the house was General Ward's headquarters, that the Provincial generals and colonels and other men of war there planned the movement which ended in the fortifying of Bunker's Hill, that Warren slept in the house the night before the battle, that President Langdon went forth from the western door and prayed for God's blessing on the men just setting forth on their bloody expedition,—all these things have been told, and perhaps none of them need be doubted.
Let’s head down to the ground floor. I should have started with this, but the historical memories of the old house were recently recounted in a really interesting memoir by a well-known local history scholar. I still have my doubts about those “dents” on the floor of the right-hand room, “the study” of its various occupants, which were said to have been made by the butts of the Continental militia’s muskets, but that’s what I was told as a child. It’s been said that military meetings took place in that room when the house was General Ward’s headquarters, where provincial generals, colonels, and other military figures planned the actions that led to the fortification of Bunker Hill. It’s said that Warren spent the night there before the battle and that President Langdon stepped out from the western door to pray for God’s blessing on the men just about to head out on their bloody mission—these stories have all been told, and perhaps none of them should be doubted.
But now for fifty years and more that room has been a meeting-ground for the platoons and companies which range themselves at the scholar's word of command. Pleasant it is to think that the retreating host of books is to give place to a still larger army of volumes, which have seen service under the eye of a great commander. For here the noble collection of him so freshly remembered as our silver-tongued orator, our erudite scholar, our honored College President, our accomplished statesman, our courtly ambassador, are to be reverently gathered by the heir of his name, himself not unworthy to be surrounded by that august assembly of the wise of all ages and of various lands and languages.
But now, for over fifty years, that room has served as a gathering place for the groups and teams that respond to the scholar's command. It's nice to think that the fading collection of books will be replaced by an even larger army of volumes, which have been guided by a great leader. Here, the impressive collection of the man who is still fondly remembered as our eloquent speaker, knowledgeable scholar, esteemed College President, skilled statesman, and gracious ambassador, will be respectfully assembled by his heir, who is also worthy of being among that distinguished assembly of wise individuals from all ages and various countries and cultures.
Could such a many-chambered edifice have stood a century and a half and not have had its passages of romance to bequeath their lingering legends to the after-time? There are other names on some of the small window-panes, which must have had young flesh-and-blood owners, and there is one of early date which elderly persons have whispered was borne by a fair woman, whose graces made the house beautiful in the eyes of the youth of that time. One especially—you will find the name of Fortescue Vernon, of the class of 1780, in the Triennial Catalogue—was a favored visitor to the old mansion; but he went over seas, I think they told me, and died still young, and the name of the maiden which is scratched on the windowpane was never changed. I am telling the story honestly, as I remember it, but I may have colored it unconsciously, and the legendary pane may be broken before this for aught I know. At least, I have named no names except the beautiful one of the supposed hero of the romantic story.
Could such a multi-chambered building have stood for a hundred and fifty years without having its own romantic stories passed down through the ages? There are other names on some of the small window-panes that must have belonged to young, living people, and there's one from long ago that older folks say belonged to a beautiful woman whose charm made the house attractive to the young people of her time. One name in particular—you'll find Fortescue Vernon, from the class of 1780, in the Triennial Catalogue—was a regular visitor to the old mansion; but I believe they told me he went overseas and died young, and the name of the girl scratched on the windowpane was never changed. I'm sharing this story honestly, as I remember it, but I might have unintentionally added my own spin, and for all I know, the legendary windowpane may have been broken by now. At least, I haven't named anyone except for the beautiful figure who’s at the center of this romantic tale.
It was a great happiness to have been born in an old house haunted by such recollections, with harmless ghosts walking its corridors, with fields of waving grass and trees and singing birds, and that vast territory of four or five acres around it to give a child the sense that he was born to a noble principality. It has been a great pleasure to retain a certain hold upon it for so many years; and since in the natural course of things it must at length pass into other hands, it is a gratification to see the old place making itself tidy for a new tenant, like some venerable dame who is getting ready to entertain a neighbor of condition. Not long since a new cap of shingles adorned this ancient mother among the village—now city—mansions. She has dressed herself in brighter colors than she has hitherto worn, so they tell me, within the last few days. She has modernized her aspects in several ways; she has rubbed bright the glasses through which she looks at the Common and the Colleges; and as the sunsets shine upon her through the flickering leaves or the wiry spray of the elms I remember from my childhood, they will glorify her into the aspect she wore when President Holyoke, father of our long since dead centenarian, looked upon her in her youthful comeliness.
It was such a joy to have been born in an old house filled with treasured memories, with friendly ghosts moving through its halls, surrounded by fields of swaying grass, trees, and singing birds, and that large expanse of four or five acres around it that gave a child the feeling of being from a noble estate. It has been a real pleasure to hold onto it for so many years; and since, naturally, it will eventually belong to someone else, it’s nice to see the place getting ready for a new tenant, like an elderly lady preparing to welcome an important guest. Not long ago, a new roof of shingles adorned this historic house among the village—now city—mansions. She has dressed in brighter colors than she has worn in the past, or so I’ve been told, in the last few days. She has updated her appearance in several ways; she has polished the windows through which she gazes at the Common and the Colleges; and as the sunsets shine upon her through the flickering leaves or the thin branches of the elms I remember from my childhood, they will transform her into the beauty she was when President Holyoke, father of our long-gone centenarian, admired her in her youthful charm.
The quiet corner formed by this and the neighboring residences has changed less than any place I can remember. Our kindly, polite, shrewd, and humorous old neighbor, who in former days has served the town as constable and auctioneer, and who bids fair to become the oldest inhabitant of the city, was there when I was born, and is living there to-day. By and by the stony foot of the great University will plant itself on this whole territory, and the private recollections which clung so tenaciously and fondly to the place and its habitations will have died with those who cherished them.
The quiet corner created by this and the nearby houses has changed less than any place I can remember. Our friendly, polite, clever, and funny old neighbor, who in the past served the town as a constable and auctioneer, and who is likely to become the oldest resident of the city, was there when I was born and still lives there today. Eventually, the solid foundation of the great University will take over this entire area, and the personal memories that hold so tightly and dearly to the place and its homes will be gone with those who treasured them.
Shall they ever live again in the memory of those who loved them here below? What is this life without the poor accidents which made it our own, and by which we identify ourselves? Ah me! I might like to be a winged chorister, but still it seems to me I should hardly be quite happy if I could not recall at will the Old House with the Long Entry, and the White Chamber (where I wrote the first verses that made me known, with a pencil, stans pede in uno, pretty, nearly), and the Little Parlor, and the Study, and the old books in uniforms as varied as those of the Ancient and Honorable Artillery Company used to be, if my memory serves me right, and the front yard with the Star-of-Bethlehems growing, flowerless, among the grass, and the dear faces to be seen no more there or anywhere on this earthly place of farewells.
Will they ever live on in the memories of those who loved them down here? What is this life without the little moments that made it uniquely ours and by which we define ourselves? Oh, I might want to be a winged singer, but I feel I wouldn't be completely happy if I couldn't easily remember the Old House with the Long Entry, and the White Chamber (where I wrote the first verses that made me known, with a pencil, standing on one foot, pretty close), and the Little Parlor, and the Study, and the old books in uniforms as varied as those of the Ancient and Honorable Artillery Company, if I recall correctly, and the front yard with the Star-of-Bethlehems growing, without flowers, among the grass, and the beloved faces that can't be seen there or anywhere in this earthly place of goodbyes.
I have told my story. I do not know what special gifts have been granted or denied me; but this I know, that I am like so many others of my fellow-creatures, that when I smile, I feel as if they must; when I cry, I think their eyes fill; and it always seems to me that when I am most truly myself I come nearest to them and am surest of being listened to by the brothers and sisters of the larger family into which I was born so long ago. I have often feared they might be tired of me and what I tell them. But then, perhaps, would come a letter from some quiet body in some out-of-the-way place, which showed me that I had said something which another had often felt but never said, or told the secret of another's heart in unburdening my own. Such evidences that one is in the highway of human experience and feeling lighten the footsteps wonderfully. So it is that one is encouraged to go on writing as long as the world has anything that interests him, for he never knows how many of his fellow-beings he may please or profit, and in how many places his name will be spoken as that of a friend.
I’ve shared my story. I’m not sure what special gifts I’ve been given or taken away; but I do know that I’m like many others—when I smile, I feel like they must too; when I cry, I believe their eyes fill with tears; and it always feels like when I’m most authentic, I connect more with them and am most certain they’re listening to me, the siblings in this larger family I was born into so long ago. I've often worried they might be tired of me and what I share. But then, a letter might arrive from someone in a quiet, remote place, showing me that I expressed something they’ve felt but never said or revealed the secret of someone’s heart while sharing my own. Such reminders that I’m part of the bigger human experience and emotions really lighten the load. That’s why I feel encouraged to keep writing as long as the world has anything that captures my interest, because I never know how many people I might touch or help, and in how many places my name might be spoken as a friend.
In the mood suggested by my story I have ventured on the poem that follows. Most people love this world more than they are willing to confess, and it is hard to conceive ourselves weaned from it so as to feel no emotion at the thought of its most sacred recollections, even after a sojourn of years, as we should count the lapse of earthly time,—in the realm where, sooner or later, all tears shall be wiped away. I hope, therefore, the title of my lines will not frighten those who are little accustomed to think of men and women as human beings in any state but the present.
In the mood set by my story, I’ve taken a shot at the poem that follows. Most people love this world more than they’re willing to admit, and it’s hard to imagine ourselves completely detached from it to the point where we feel no emotion at the thought of its most cherished memories, even after many years, as we measure the passage of earthly time—in the realm where, eventually, all tears will be wiped away. I hope, therefore, that the title of my poem won’t scare off those who aren’t used to thinking of men and women as human beings in any state other than the present.
HOMESICK IN HEAVEN. THE DIVINE VOICE. Go seek thine earth-born sisters,—thus the Voice That all obey,—the sad and silent three; These only, while the hosts of heaven rejoice, Smile never: ask them what their sorrows be: And when the secret of their griefs they tell, Look on them with thy mild, half-human eyes; Say what thou wast on earth; thou knowest well; So shall they cease from unavailing sighs. THE ANGEL. —Why thus, apart,—the swift-winged herald spake, —Sit ye with silent lips and unstrung lyres While the trisagion's blending chords awake In shouts of joy from all the heavenly choirs? THE FIRST SPIRIT. —Chide not thy sisters,—thus the answer came; —Children of earth, our half-weaned nature clings To earth's fond memories, and her whispered name Untunes our quivering lips, our saddened strings; For there we loved, and where we love is home, Home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts, Though o'er us shine the jasper-lighted dome:— The chain may lengthen, but it never parts! Sometimes a sunlit sphere comes rolling by, And then we softly whisper,—can it be? And leaning toward the silvery orb, we try To hear the music of its murmuring sea; To catch, perchance, some flashing glimpse of green, Or breathe some wild-wood fragrance, wafted through The opening gates of pearl, that fold between The blinding splendors and the changeless blue. THE ANGEL. —Nay, sister, nay! a single healing leaf Plucked from the bough of yon twelve-fruited tree, Would soothe such anguish,—deeper stabbing grief Has pierced thy throbbing heart— THE FIRST SPIRIT. —Ah, woe is me! I from my clinging babe was rudely torn; His tender lips a loveless bosom pressed Can I forget him in my life new born? O that my darling lay upon my breast! THE ANGEL. —And thou? THE SECOND SPIRIT. I was a fair and youthful bride, The kiss of love still burns upon my cheek, He whom I worshipped, ever at my side, —Him through the spirit realm in vain I seek. Sweet faces turn their beaming eyes on mine; Ah! not in these the wished-for look I read; Still for that one dear human smile I pine; Thou and none other!—is the lover's creed. THE ANGEL. —And whence thy sadness in a world of bliss Where never parting comes, nor mourner's tear? Art thou, too, dreaming of a mortal's kiss Amid the seraphs of the heavenly sphere? THE THIRD SPIRIT. —Nay, tax not me with passion's wasting fire; When the swift message set my spirit free, Blind, helpless, lone, I left my gray-haired sire; My friends were many, he had none save me. I left him, orphaned, in the starless night; Alas, for him no cheerful morning's dawn! I wear the ransomed spirit's robe of white, Yet still I hear him moaning, She is gone! THE ANGEL. —Ye know me not, sweet sisters?—All in vain Ye seek your lost ones in the shapes they wore; The flower once opened may not bud again, The fruit once fallen finds the stem no more. Child, lover, sire,—yea, all things loved below, Fair pictures damasked on a vapor's fold, Fade like the roseate flush, the golden glow, When the bright curtain of the day is rolled. I was the babe that slumbered on thy breast. —And, sister, mine the lips that called thee bride. —Mine were the silvered locks thy hand caressed, That faithful hand, my faltering footstep's guide! Each changing form, frail vesture of decay, The soul unclad forgets it once hath worn, Stained with the travel of the weary day, And shamed with rents from every wayside thorn. To lie, an infant, in thy fond embrace, To come with love's warm kisses back to thee, To show thine eyes thy gray-haired father's face, Not Heaven itself could grant; this may not be! Then spread your folded wings, and leave to earth The dust once breathing ye have mourned so long, Till Love, new risen, owns his heavenly birth, And sorrow's discords sweeten into song!
HOMESICK IN HEAVEN. THE DIVINE VOICE. Go find your earthly sisters,—so says the Voice That everyone listens to,—the sad and silent three; These are the only ones, while the heavenly hosts celebrate, Who never smile: ask them what their sorrows are: And when they reveal the secrets of their grief, Look at them with your gentle, half-human eyes; Tell them who you were on earth; you know well; Then they will stop their pointless sighs. THE ANGEL. —Why are you sitting apart,—the quick-winged messenger spoke, —With silent lips and unplayed lyres While the blending chords of the trisagion rise In joyful shouts from all the heavenly choirs? THE FIRST SPIRIT. —Don’t scold your sisters,—this was the reply; —Children of earth, our half-formed nature clings To earth’s dear memories, and her whispered name Untunes our quivering lips, our saddened strings; For there we loved, and where we love is home, Home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts, Though above us shines the jasper-lit dome:— The bond may stretch, but it never breaks! Sometimes a sunlit sphere rolls by, And then we softly whisper,—can it be? And leaning toward the silvery orb, we try To hear the music of its murmuring sea; To catch, perhaps, a fleeting glimpse of green, Or breathe some wild-wood scent wafted through The open gates of pearl, that separate The blinding splendors from the endless blue. THE ANGEL. —No, sister, no! A single healing leaf Picked from the branch of that twelve-fruited tree, Would soothe such pain,—deeper piercing grief Has stabbed your throbbing heart— THE FIRST SPIRIT. —Oh, woe is me! I was torn away from my clinging baby; His tender lips pressed against a loveless chest Can I forget him in my new life? O that my darling lay on my breast! THE ANGEL. —And you? THE SECOND SPIRIT. I was a beautiful, young bride, The kiss of love still burns on my cheek, The one I adored, always by my side, —Him through the spirit realm I seek in vain. Sweet faces turn their shining eyes to mine; Ah! In none of these do I find the look I crave; Still for that one dear human smile I long; You and no one else!—is the lover's belief. THE ANGEL. —And why your sadness in a world of bliss Where there are no partings or mourning tears? Are you, too, dreaming of a mortal's kiss Among the seraphs in this heavenly space? THE THIRD SPIRIT. —Don’t accuse me of passion’s consuming fire; When the swift message set my spirit free, Blind, helpless, alone, I left my gray-haired father; My friends were many, he had none but me. I left him, orphaned, in the starless night; Alas, for him, there’s no cheerful morning’s dawn! I wear the garment of the ransomed spirit, Yet I still hear him moaning, She is gone! THE ANGEL. —You don’t recognize me, dear sisters?—All in vain You search for your lost ones in the forms they wore; The flower once opened can’t bud again, The fruit once fallen finds its stem no more. Child, lover, father,—yes, all things loved below, Beautiful images displayed on a vapor's fold, Fade like the rosy blush or golden glow, When the bright curtain of the day is drawn. I was the baby who slept on your chest. —And, sister, I am the lips that called you bride. —Mine were the silver locks your hand caressed, That faithful hand, my faltering footsteps' guide! Each changing form, fragile garment of decay, The soul unclothed forgets it once wore, Stained with the struggles of the weary day, And shamed with tears from every thorny path. To lie, an infant, in your loving arms, To return with love’s warm kisses to you, To show your eyes your grey-haired father's face, Not even Heaven itself could grant; this may not be! Then spread your folded wings, and leave to earth The dust you once grieved over for so long, Until Love, newly risen, claims his heavenly birth, And sorrow’s disharmony turns into song!
II
I am going to take it for granted now and henceforth, in my report of what was said and what was to be seen at our table, that I have secured one good, faithful, loving reader, who never finds fault, who never gets sleepy over my pages, whom no critic can bully out of a liking for me, and to whom I am always safe in addressing myself. My one elect may be man or woman, old or young, gentle or simple, living in the next block or on a slope of Nevada, my fellow-countryman or an alien; but one such reader I shall assume to exist and have always in my thought when I am writing.
I’m going to assume from now on, in my report about what was said and what was seen at our table, that I have one good, loyal, loving reader who never complains, never gets bored with my writing, can't be swayed by any critic away from liking me, and to whom I can freely address my thoughts. This special reader could be a man or a woman, old or young, kind or straightforward, living in the next block or on a hillside in Nevada, a fellow citizen or someone from another country; but I will always assume this reader exists and keep them in mind while I write.
A writer is so like a lover! And a talk with the right listener is so like an arm-in-arm walk in the moonlight with the soft heartbeat just felt through the folds of muslin and broadcloth! But it takes very little to spoil everything for writer, talker, lover. There are a great many cruel things besides poverty that freeze the genial current of the soul, as the poet of the Elegy calls it. Fire can stand any wind, but is easily blown out, and then come smouldering and smoke, and profitless, slow combustion without the cheerful blaze which sheds light all round it. The one Reader's hand may shelter the flame; the one blessed ministering spirit with the vessel of oil may keep it bright in spite of the stream of cold water on the other side doing its best to put it out.
A writer is so much like a lover! And having a conversation with the right listener feels just like taking a leisurely stroll in the moonlight, with the soft rhythm of a heartbeat felt through layers of fabric! But it takes so little to ruin everything for the writer, the speaker, or the lover. There are many harsh realities, beyond just poverty, that can chill the warm flow of the soul, as the poet of the Elegy refers to it. Fire can withstand any wind, but it’s easily extinguished, leading to smoldering and smoke, resulting in a slow, unproductive burn without the bright flame that spreads light all around. One Reader’s hand can shield the flame; one supportive, caring presence with the oil can keep it glowing despite the cold water trying its hardest to snuff it out.
I suppose, if any writer, of any distinguishable individuality, could look into the hearts of all his readers, he might very probably find one in his parish of a thousand or a million who honestly preferred him to any other of his kind. I have no doubt we have each one of us, somewhere, our exact facsimile, so like us in all things except the accidents of condition, that we should love each other like a pair of twins, if our natures could once fairly meet. I know I have my counterpart in some State of this Union. I feel sure that there is an Englishman somewhere precisely like myself. (I hope he does not drop his h's, for it does not seem to me possible that the Royal Dane could have remained faithful to his love for Ophelia, if she had addressed him as 'Amlet.) There is also a certain Monsieur, to me at this moment unknown, and likewise a Herr Von Something, each of whom is essentially my double. An Arab is at this moment eating dates, a mandarin is just sipping his tea, and a South-Sea-Islander (with undeveloped possibilities) drinking the milk of a cocoa-nut, each one of whom, if he had been born in the gambrel-roofed house, and cultivated my little sand-patch, and grown up in “the study” from the height of Walton's Polyglot Bible to that of the shelf which held the Elzevir Tacitus and Casaubon's Polybius, with all the complex influences about him that surrounded me, would have been so nearly what I am that I should have loved him like a brother,—always provided that I did not hate him for his resemblance to me, on the same principle as that which makes bodies in the same electric condition repel each other.
I think that if any writer with a unique personality could peek into the hearts of all their readers, they’d probably find at least one person among thousands or even millions who genuinely preferred them over any other writer. I believe each of us has, somewhere out there, our exact double—so similar in every way except for the circumstances of our lives—that we would love each other like twins if our true natures could ever really connect. I know I have my counterpart in some state in this country. I’m convinced there’s an Englishman out there who’s just like me. (I hope he doesn’t drop his h’s because it seems impossible that the Royal Dane could stay true to his love for Ophelia if she called him ‘Amlet’.) There’s also a certain Monsieur, whom I don’t know at the moment, and a Herr Von Something, each of whom is fundamentally my double. Right now, an Arab is eating dates, a mandarin is sipping tea, and a South-Sea Islander (with untapped potential) is drinking coconut milk—any of whom, if they had been born in a gambrel-roofed house like mine and cultivated my little plot of land, and grown up surrounded by the same influences that shaped me—would have been so much like me that I would have loved him like a brother, provided I didn’t end up hating him for being so similar to me, just like how bodies in the same electric condition repel each other.
For, perhaps after all, my One Reader is quite as likely to be not the person most resembling myself, but the one to whom my nature is complementary. Just as a particular soil wants some one element to fertilize it, just as the body in some conditions has a kind of famine—for one special food, so the mind has its wants, which do not always call for what is best, but which know themselves and are as peremptory as the salt-sick sailor's call for a lemon or a raw potato, or, if you will, as those capricious “longings,” which have a certain meaning, we may suppose, and which at any rate we think it reasonable to satisfy if we can.
For perhaps my One Reader is just as likely not to be someone who closely resembles me, but rather someone whose nature complements mine. Just like a certain type of soil needs a specific element to thrive, and just as the body sometimes craves a particular food when it's lacking nutrients, the mind has its own needs. These needs don’t always seek what’s best, but they are self-aware and urgent, similar to how a salt-sick sailor desperately wants a lemon or a raw potato. Or, if you prefer, they are like those unpredictable “cravings” that probably have some meaning, and we at least find it reasonable to satisfy them when we can.
I was going to say something about our boarders the other day when I got run away with by my local reminiscences. I wish you to understand that we have a rather select company at the table of our boarding-house.
I was going to mention something about our boarders the other day when I got caught up in my local memories. I want you to know that we have a pretty exclusive group at the table in our boarding house.
Our Landlady is a most respectable person, who has seen better days, of course,—all landladies have,—but has also, I feel sure, seen a good deal worse ones. For she wears a very handsome silk dress on state occasions, with a breastpin set, as I honestly believe, with genuine pearls, and appears habitually with a very smart cap, from under which her gray curls come out with an unmistakable expression, conveyed in the hieratic language of the feminine priesthood, to the effect that while there is life there is hope. And when I come to reflect on the many circumstances which go to the making of matrimonial happiness, I cannot help thinking that a personage of her present able exterior, thoroughly experienced in all the domestic arts which render life comfortable, might make the later years of some hitherto companionless bachelor very endurable, not to say pleasant.
Our landlady is a very respectable woman who has definitely seen better days—just like all landladies have—but I’m sure she’s also seen her fair share of worse times. She wears a beautiful silk dress on special occasions, with what I genuinely think is a breastpin made of real pearls, and she always sports a stylish cap from which her gray curls peek out, conveying an unmistakable message, communicated in the sacred language of the feminine priesthood, that while there is life, there is hope. When I think about all the factors that contribute to a happy marriage, I can’t help but feel that someone of her capable appearance, who's well-versed in the domestic skills that make life comfortable, could make the later years of some previously lonely bachelor quite bearable, if not enjoyable.
The condition of the Landlady's family is, from what I learn, such as to make the connection I have alluded to, I hope with delicacy, desirable for incidental as well as direct reasons, provided a fitting match could be found. I was startled at hearing her address by the familiar name of Benjamin the young physician I have referred to, until I found on inquiry, what I might have guessed by the size of his slices of pie and other little marks of favoritism, that he was her son. He has recently come back from Europe, where he has topped off his home training with a first-class foreign finish. As the Landlady could never have educated him in this way out of the profits of keeping boarders, I was not surprised when I was told that she had received a pretty little property in the form of a bequest from a former boarder, a very kind-hearted, worthy old gentleman who had been long with her and seen how hard she worked for food and clothes for herself and this son of hers, Benjamin Franklin by his baptismal name. Her daughter had also married well, to a member of what we may call the post-medical profession, that, namely, which deals with the mortal frame after the practitioners of the healing art have done with it and taken their leave. So thriving had this son-in-law of hers been in his business, that his wife drove about in her own carriage, drawn by a pair of jet-black horses of most dignified demeanor, whose only fault was a tendency to relapse at once into a walk after every application of a stimulus that quickened their pace to a trot; which application always caused them to look round upon the driver with a surprised and offended air, as if he had been guilty of a grave indecorum.
The condition of the Landlady's family, from what I gather, seems to make the connection I mentioned earlier—hopefully with sensitivity—attractive for both incidental and direct reasons, if a suitable match can be found. I was surprised to hear her refer to the young physician I mentioned earlier as Benjamin, until I learned that, judging by the size of his pie slices and other little signs of favoritism, he was her son. He recently returned from Europe, where he added a top-notch foreign education to his home training. Since the Landlady couldn’t have educated him this way solely from the profits of running a boarding house, I wasn't shocked when I found out that she received a nice little inheritance from a former boarder, a very kind and decent old gentleman who had stayed with her for a long time and saw how hard she worked to provide for herself and her son, Benjamin Franklin, as he was baptized. Her daughter also married well, to someone in what we can call the post-medical profession, which deals with the human body after doctors have done their part and left. Her son-in-law has been so successful in his career that his wife drives around in her own carriage, pulled by a pair of elegant black horses, whose only flaw was their tendency to revert to a walk immediately after any prompt that sped them up to a trot; this made them look back at the driver with a shocked and offended expression, as if he had committed a serious faux pas.
The Landlady's daughter had been blessed with a number of children, of great sobriety of outward aspect, but remarkably cheerful in their inward habit of mind, more especially on the occasion of the death of a doll, which was an almost daily occurrence, and gave them immense delight in getting up a funeral, for which they had a complete miniature outfit. How happy they were under their solemn aspect! For the head mourner, a child of remarkable gifts, could actually make the tears run down her cheeks,—as real ones as if she had been a grown person following a rich relative, who had not forgotten his connections, to his last unfurnished lodgings.
The landlady's daughter had a number of kids who looked serious on the outside but were surprisingly joyful inside, especially when one of their dolls passed away, which happened almost daily. They absolutely loved setting up a funeral for the dolls and had a complete miniature setup for it. It was amazing how happy they were, even with their serious expressions! The main mourner, a truly gifted child, could actually make real tears run down her cheeks—just as genuine as if she were an adult attending the funeral of a wealthy relative who hadn’t forgotten his family, going to his last empty room.
So this was a most desirable family connection for the right man to step into,—a thriving, thrifty mother-in-law, who knew what was good for the sustenance of the body, and had no doubt taught it to her daughter; a medical artist at hand in case the luxuries of the table should happen to disturb the physiological harmonies; and in the worst event, a sweet consciousness that the last sad offices would be attended to with affectionate zeal, and probably a large discount from the usual charges.
So this was a really appealing family connection for the right guy to get into—a successful, practical mother-in-law who understood what was good for health and had likely passed that knowledge on to her daughter; a skilled doctor nearby in case the fancy food upset anyone’s stomach; and in the worst-case scenario, a comforting assurance that the final arrangements would be handled with care and probably at a reduced price.
It seems as if I could hardly be at this table for a year, if I should stay so long, without seeing some romance or other work itself out under my eyes; and I cannot help thinking that the Landlady is to be the heroine of the love-history like to unfold itself. I think I see the little cloud in the horizon, with a silvery lining to it, which may end in a rain of cards tied round with white ribbons. Extremes meet, and who so like to be the other party as the elderly gentleman at the other end of the table, as far from her now as the length of the board permits? I may be mistaken, but I think this is to be the romantic episode of the year before me. Only it seems so natural it is improbable, for you never find your dropped money just where you look for it, and so it is with these a priori matches.
It feels like I could hardly be at this table for a year, if I were to stay that long, without witnessing some romance or other drama unfold in front of me; and I can't shake the feeling that the Landlady is going to be the heroine of this love story. I think I see a small cloud on the horizon, with a silver lining that might lead to a shower of cards tied with white ribbons. Extremes attract, and who would be more interested in her than the older gentleman at the other end of the table, as far from her as possible? I might be wrong, but I believe this is going to be the romantic episode of the year ahead of me. It's just that it seems so natural that it's hard to believe, because you never find your lost money exactly where you expect it, and the same goes for these unlikely matches.
This gentleman is a tight, tidy, wiry little man, with a small, brisk head, close-cropped white hair, a good wholesome complexion, a quiet, rather kindly face, quick in his movements, neat in his dress, but fond of wearing a short jacket over his coat, which gives him the look of a pickled or preserved schoolboy. He has retired, they say, from a thriving business, with a snug property, suspected by some to be rather more than snug, and entitling him to be called a capitalist, except that this word seems to be equivalent to highway robber in the new gospel of Saint Petroleum. That he is economical in his habits cannot be denied, for he saws and splits his own wood, for exercise, he says,—and makes his own fires, brushes his own shoes, and, it is whispered, darns a hole in a stocking now and then,—all for exercise, I suppose. Every summer he goes out of town for a few weeks. On a given day of the month a wagon stops at the door and takes up, not his trunks, for he does not indulge in any such extravagance, but the stout brown linen bags in which he packs the few conveniences he carries with him.
This guy is a neat, slim, wiry little man with a small, lively head, short white hair, a healthy complexion, a calm, kind-looking face, quick movements, and a tidy appearance, but he likes to wear a short jacket over his coat, which makes him look like an old-school boy who's been pickled or preserved. They've heard he retired from a successful business with a comfortable property, which some people suspect is more than just comfortable, allowing him to be called a capitalist, although that term seems to have become synonymous with highway robber in the new gospel of Saint Petroleum. It's undeniable that he's frugal; he saws and splits his own firewood for exercise, he says, and makes his own fires, shines his own shoes, and it's rumored he occasionally mends a hole in a sock—all for exercise, I guess. Every summer, he leaves town for a few weeks. On a specific day of the month, a wagon pulls up to his door to take away not his trunks, since he doesn't go in for any such luxuries, but the sturdy brown linen bags in which he packs the few essentials he takes with him.
I do not think this worthy and economical personage will have much to do or to say, unless he marries the Landlady. If he does that, he will play a part of some importance,—but I don't feel sure at all. His talk is little in amount, and generally ends in some compact formula condensing much wisdom in few words, as that a man, should not put all his eggs in one basket; that there are as good fish in the sea as ever came out of it; and one in particular, which he surprised me by saying in pretty good French one day, to the effect that the inheritance of the world belongs to the phlegmatic people, which seems to me to have a good deal of truth in it.
I don’t think this practical and thrifty guy will have much to do or say, unless he marries the Landlady. If he does that, he’ll play a somewhat important role—but I’m not really sure about it. He doesn’t talk much, and when he does, it usually wraps up a lot of wisdom in a few words, like saying a person shouldn’t put all their eggs in one basket or that there are plenty of other fish in the sea. There’s one thing he surprised me with when he said it in pretty good French one day: that the people who inherit the world are the calm and collected ones, which seems to hold a lot of truth.
The other elderly personage, the old man with iron-gray hair and large round spectacles, sits at my right at table. He is a retired college officer, a man of books and observation, and himself an author. Magister Artium is one of his titles on the College Catalogue, and I like best to speak of him as the Master, because he has a certain air of authority which none of us feel inclined to dispute. He has given me a copy of a work of his which seems to me not wanting in suggestiveness, and which I hope I shall be able to make some use of in my records by and by. I said the other day that he had good solid prejudices, which is true, and I like him none the worse for it; but he has also opinions more or less original, valuable, probable, fanciful; fantastic, or whimsical, perhaps, now and then; which he promulgates at table somewhat in the tone of imperial edicts. Another thing I like about him is, that he takes a certain intelligent interest in pretty much everything that interests other people. I asked him the other day what he thought most about in his wide range of studies.
The other elderly person, the old man with iron-gray hair and large round glasses, sits to my right at the table. He’s a retired college officer, a man of books and observation, and also an author. Magister Artium is one of his titles in the College Catalogue, but I prefer to call him the Master because he has a certain authority that none of us feel inclined to challenge. He gave me a copy of one of his works, which I find quite thought-provoking, and I hope to use it in my records sometime soon. I mentioned the other day that he has some well-founded prejudices, which is true, and I actually like him all the more for it. However, he also has opinions that are somewhat original, valuable, likely, fanciful, and sometimes even whimsical, which he shares at the table with a tone that resembles imperial edicts. Another thing I appreciate about him is that he shows a thoughtful interest in just about everything that engages other people. I asked him the other day what he thinks about most in his broad range of studies.
—Sir,—said he,—I take stock in everything that concerns anybody. Humani nihil,—you know the rest. But if you ask me what is my specialty, I should say, I applied myself more particularly to the contemplation of the Order of Things.
—Sir,—he said,—I care about everything that affects anyone. Humani nihil,—you know the rest. But if you want to know what my focus is, I’d say I’m especially dedicated to understanding the Order of Things.
—A pretty wide subject,—I ventured to suggest.
—That's a pretty broad topic,—I suggested.
—Not wide enough, sir,—not wide enough to satisfy the desire of a mind which wants to get at absolute truth, without reference to the empirical arrangements of our particular planet and its environments. I want to subject the formal conditions of space and time to a new analysis, and project a possible universe outside of the Order of Things. But I have narrowed myself by studying the actual facts of being. By and by—by and by—perhaps—perhaps. I hope to do some sound thinking in heaven—if I ever get there,—he said seriously, and it seemed to me not irreverently.
—Not wide enough, sir—not wide enough to satisfy the desire of a mind that wants to uncover absolute truth, without considering the empirical setups of our specific planet and its surroundings. I want to analyze the fundamental conditions of space and time anew and envision a possible universe beyond the Order of Things. But I’ve limited myself by focusing on the actual facts of existence. Eventually—eventually—perhaps—perhaps. I hope to do some deep thinking in heaven—if I ever make it there,—he said seriously, and it didn’t seem disrespectful to me.
—I rather like that,—I said. I think your telescopic people are, on the whole, more satisfactory than your microscopic ones.
—I kind of like that,—I said. I think your telescopic people are, overall, more satisfying than your microscopic ones.
—My left-hand neighbor fidgeted about a little in his chair as I said this. But the young man sitting not far from the Landlady, to whom my attention had been attracted by the expression of his eyes, which seemed as if they saw nothing before him, but looked beyond everything, smiled a sort of faint starlight smile, that touched me strangely; for until that moment he had appeared as if his thoughts were far away, and I had been questioning whether he had lost friends lately, or perhaps had never had them, he seemed so remote from our boarding-house life. I will inquire about him, for he interests me, and I thought he seemed interested as I went on talking.
—My neighbor on the left fidgeted a bit in his chair as I said this. But the young man sitting not far from the landlady caught my attention with the look in his eyes; they seemed to see nothing in front of him but looked beyond everything. He smiled a faint, starlight smile that touched me oddly, because up until that moment, he seemed lost in thought, making me wonder if he had lost friends recently or maybe had never had any at all. He seemed so detached from our boarding-house life. I want to find out more about him because he intrigues me, and I thought he seemed engaged as I continued speaking.
—No,—I continued,—I don't want to have the territory of a man's mind fenced in. I don't want to shut out the mystery of the stars and the awful hollow that holds them. We have done with those hypaethral temples, that were open above to the heavens, but we can have attics and skylights to them. Minds with skylights,—yes,—stop, let us see if we can't get something out of that.
—No— I continued— I don't want to limit a man's thoughts. I don't want to close off the mystery of the stars and the vast empty space that surrounds them. We've moved on from those open-air temples that were exposed to the sky, but we can still have attics and skylights. Minds with skylights—yes—hold on, let's see if we can figure something out with that.
One-story intellects, two—story intellects, three story intellects with skylights. All fact—collectors, who have no aim beyond their facts, are one-story men. Two-story men compare, reason, generalize, using the labors of the fact-collectors as well as their own. Three-story men idealize, imagine, predict; their best illumination comes from above, through the skylight. There are minds with large ground floors, that can store an infinite amount of knowledge; some librarians, for instance, who know enough of books to help other people, without being able to make much other use of their knowledge, have intellects of this class. Your great working lawyer has two spacious stories; his mind is clear, because his mental floors are large, and he has room to arrange his thoughts so that he can get at them,—facts below, principles above, and all in ordered series; poets are often narrow below, incapable of clear statement, and with small power of consecutive reasoning, but full of light, if sometimes rather bare of furniture, in the attics.
One-story thinkers, two-story thinkers, three-story thinkers with skylights. All fact-collectors, who have no goal beyond their facts, are one-story people. Two-story thinkers compare, reason, and generalize, using both their own efforts and those of fact-collectors. Three-story thinkers idealize, imagine, and predict; their best insights come from above, through the skylight. There are minds with large ground floors that can store endless knowledge; some librarians, for example, who know enough about books to assist others but aren't able to utilize that knowledge much otherwise, fit into this category. Your great working lawyer has two spacious stories; his mind is clear because his mental floors are broad, allowing him to organize his thoughts so he can access them—facts below, principles above, all in an ordered sequence. Poets often have a narrow foundation, unable to express themselves clearly and lacking strong sequential reasoning, but they are full of light, even if their attics are somewhat empty.
—The old Master smiled. I think he suspects himself of a three-story intellect, and I don't feel sure that he is n't right.
—The old Master smiled. I think he suspects he has a three-story intellect, and I'm not sure he isn't right.
—Is it dark meat or white meat you will be helped to?—said the Landlady, addressing the Master.
—Are you having dark meat or white meat?—said the Landlady, addressing the Master.
—Dark meat for me, always,—he answered. Then turning to me, he began one of those monologues of his, such as that which put the Member of the Haouse asleep the other day.
—Dark meat for me, always,—he replied. Then, turning to me, he launched into one of those monologues of his, like the one that bored the Member of the House to sleep the other day.
—It 's pretty much the same in men and women and in books and everything, that it is in turkeys and chickens. Why, take your poets, now, say Browning and Tennyson. Don't you think you can say which is the dark-meat and which is the white-meat poet? And so of the people you know; can't you pick out the full-flavored, coarse-fibred characters from the delicate, fine-fibred ones? And in the same person, don't you know the same two shades in different parts of the character that you find in the wing and thigh of a partridge? I suppose you poets may like white meat best, very probably; you had rather have a wing than a drumstick, I dare say.
—It’s pretty much the same with men and women, in books and everything else, as it is with turkeys and chickens. For example, take your poets, like Browning and Tennyson. Don’t you think you can tell which is the dark-meat poet and which is the white-meat poet? And the people you know; can’t you identify the full-flavored, coarse-fibred personalities from the delicate, fine-fibred ones? And even in the same person, don’t you recognize those two different shades in various parts of their character, just like you’d find in the wing and thigh of a partridge? I suppose you poets might prefer white meat, probably; you’d rather have a wing than a drumstick, I bet.
—Why, yes,—said I,—I suppose some of us do. Perhaps it is because a bird flies with his white-fleshed limbs and walks with the dark-fleshed ones. Besides, the wing-muscles are nearer the heart than the leg-muscles.
—Yeah,—I said,—I guess some of us do. Maybe it’s because a bird flies with its light-colored wings and walks with its darker legs. Plus, the muscles for flying are closer to the heart than the muscles for walking.
I thought that sounded mighty pretty, and paused a moment to pat myself on the back, as is my wont when I say something that I think of superior quality. So I lost my innings; for the Master is apt to strike in at the end of a bar, instead of waiting for a rest, if I may borrow a musical phrase. No matter, just at this moment, what he said; but he talked the Member of the Haouse asleep again.
I thought that sounded really nice and took a moment to give myself a pat on the back, as I usually do when I say something I consider high quality. So I missed my turn; because the Master tends to jump in at the end of a sentence, instead of waiting for a pause, if I can use a musical term. It doesn’t really matter, at this moment, what he said; but he put the Member of the House to sleep again.
They have a new term nowadays (I am speaking to you, the Reader) for people that do a good deal of talking; they call them “conversationists,” or “conversationalists “; talkists, I suppose, would do just as well. It is rather dangerous to get the name of being one of these phenomenal manifestations, as one is expected to say something remarkable every time one opens one's mouth in company. It seems hard not to be able to ask for a piece of bread or a tumbler of water, without a sensation running round the table, as if one were an electric eel or a torpedo, and couldn't be touched without giving a shock. A fellow is n't all battery, is he? The idea that a Gymnotus can't swallow his worm without a coruscation of animal lightning is hard on that brilliant but sensational being. Good talk is not a matter of will at all; it depends—you know we are all half-materialists nowadays—on a certain amount of active congestion of the brain, and that comes when it is ready, and not before. I saw a man get up the other day in a pleasant company, and talk away for about five minutes, evidently by a pure effort of will. His person was good, his voice was pleasant, but anybody could see that it was all mechanical labor; he was sparring for wind, as the Hon. John Morrissey, M. C., would express himself. Presently,—
They have a new term these days (I’m talking to you, the Reader) for people who do a lot of talking; they call them “conversationists” or “conversationalists”; I guess “talkists” would work just as well. It's pretty risky to be labeled as one of these phenomenal talkers, since you're expected to say something impressive every time you open your mouth in a group. It feels tough not to be able to ask for a piece of bread or a glass of water without causing a stir, as if you were an electric eel or a torpedo that can’t be touched without delivering a shock. A person isn’t just a battery, right? The idea that a Gymnotus can’t eat its worm without a flash of electric light is pretty harsh on that remarkable but attention-seeking creature. Good conversation isn’t something you can just force; it depends—you know we’re all half-materialists these days—on a certain level of mental energy, which shows up when it’s ready, not before. I saw a guy get up the other day in a nice group and talk for about five minutes, clearly just trying to make it happen through sheer willpower. He looked good, his voice was nice, but anyone could tell it was all mechanical effort; he was just trying to catch his breath, as the Hon. John Morrissey, M.C., would say. Then,—
Do you,—Beloved, I am afraid you are not old enough,—but do you remember the days of the tin tinder-box, the flint, and steel? Click! click! click!—Al-h-h! knuckles that time! click! click! CLICK! a spark has taken, and is eating into the black tinder, as a six-year-old eats into a sheet of gingerbread.
Do you, my dear, I worry you might be too young, but do you remember the days of the tin tinderbox, flint, and steel? Click! click! click!—Oh, those were the days! Click! click! CLICK! A spark has caught and is burning into the black tinder like a six-year-old devouring a piece of gingerbread.
Presently, after hammering away for his five minutes with mere words, the spark of a happy expression took somewhere among the mental combustibles, and then for ten minutes we had a pretty, wandering, scintillating play of eloquent thought, that enlivened, if it did not kindle, all around it. If you want the real philosophy of it, I will give it to you. The chance thought or expression struck the nervous centre of consciousness, as the rowel of a spur stings the flank of a racer. Away through all the telegraphic radiations of the nervous cords flashed the intelligence that the brain was kindling, and must be fed with something or other, or it would burn itself to ashes.
Right now, after spending five minutes just talking, the spark of a happy expression ignited somewhere in the mind, and for the next ten minutes, we enjoyed a captivating, wandering display of eloquent ideas that brought life to everything around it, even if it didn’t set anything on fire. If you want the real deal, I’ll break it down for you. A chance idea or expression hit the sensitive spot of our awareness, like a spur jabbing a horse. Through all the interconnected pathways of the nervous system, the brain was lighting up and needed something to fuel it, or else it would burn out completely.
And all the great hydraulic engines poured in their scarlet blood, and the fire kindled, and the flame rose; for the blood is a stream that, like burning rock-oil, at once kindles, and is itself the fuel. You can't order these organic processes, any more than a milliner can make a rose. She can make something that looks like a rose, more or less, but it takes all the forces of the universe to finish and sweeten that blossom in your button-hole; and you may be sure that when the orator's brain is in a flame, when the poet's heart is in a tumult, it is something mightier than he and his will that is dealing with him! As I have looked from one of the northern windows of the street which commands our noble estuary,—the view through which is a picture on an illimitable canvas and a poem in innumerable cantos,—I have sometimes seen a pleasure-boat drifting along, her sail flapping, and she seeming as if she had neither will nor aim. At her stern a man was laboring to bring her head round with an oar, to little purpose, as it seemed to those who watched him pulling and tugging. But all at once the wind of heaven, which had wandered all the way from Florida or from Labrador, it may be, struck full upon the sail, and it swelled and rounded itself, like a white bosom that had burst its bodice, and—
And all the powerful hydraulic engines poured out their red fluid, igniting a fire that blazed higher; the fluid itself acts like burning oil—igniting instantly and serving as fuel. You can’t control these natural processes any more than a hat maker can create a real rose. She might craft something that resembles a rose to some extent, but it takes all the forces of the universe to complete and refine that flower pinned to your lapel; and you can be sure that when an orator’s mind is on fire or a poet’s heart is in turmoil, it’s something greater than them and their will that’s at play! As I’ve stood by one of the northern windows overlooking our magnificent estuary—the view is like a picture painted on an endless canvas and a poem in countless verses—I’ve sometimes seen a leisure boat floating by, its sail flapping, seeming as if it had no direction or purpose. At the back, a man was struggling to steer it with an oar, seemingly to no avail, as those watching saw him pull and strain. But suddenly, the wind from the heavens, perhaps having traveled all the way from Florida or Labrador, struck the sail, causing it to swell and billow out like a white chest that has burst from its constraints, and—
—You are right; it is too true! but how I love these pretty phrases! I am afraid I am becoming an epicure in words, which is a bad thing to be, unless it is dominated by something infinitely better than itself. But there is a fascination in the mere sound of articulated breath; of consonants that resist with the firmness of a maid of honor, or half or wholly yield to the wooing lips; of vowels that flow and murmur, each after its kind; the peremptory b and p, the brittle k, the vibrating r, the insinuating s, the feathery f, the velvety v, the bell-voiced m, the tranquil broad a, the penetrating e, the cooing u, the emotional o, and the beautiful combinations of alternate rock and stream, as it were, that they give to the rippling flow of speech,—there is a fascination in the skilful handling of these, which the great poets and even prose-writers have not disdained to acknowledge and use to recommend their thought. What do you say to this line of Homer as a piece of poetical full-band music? I know you read the Greek characters with perfect ease, but permit me, just for my own satisfaction, to put it into English letters:—
—You’re right; it’s true! But I really love these beautiful phrases! I’m afraid I’m becoming a connoisseur of words, which isn’t great unless it’s driven by something much more meaningful. But there’s something captivating about the sound of spoken words; about consonants that stand firm like a maid of honor or partly or entirely give in to soft lips; about vowels that flow and whisper, each in its own way; the commanding b and p, the crisp k, the resonant r, the seductive s, the light f, the smooth v, the ringing m, the calm broad a, the sharp e, the gentle u, the expressive o, and the lovely blends of hard and smooth that create the melodic rhythm of speech—there’s a charm in skillfully playing with these that great poets and even prose writers have acknowledged and used to enhance their ideas. What do you think of this line from Homer as a piece of musical poetry? I know you read Greek characters with ease, but allow me, just for my own curiosity, to transcribe it into English letters:—
Aigle pamphanoosa di' aitheros ouranon ike!
Aigle pamphanoosa di' aitheros ouranon ike!
as if he should have spoken in our poorer phrase of
as if he should have spoken in our simpler words of
Splendor far shining through ether to heaven ascending.
Splendor shining brightly through the air, rising to the heavens.
That Greek line, which I do not remember having heard mention of as remarkable, has nearly every consonantal and vowel sound in the language. Try it by the Greek and by the English alphabet; it is a curiosity. Tell me that old Homer did not roll his sightless eyeballs about with delight, as he thundered out these ringing syllables! It seems hard to think of his going round like a hand-organ man, with such music and such thought as his to earn his bread with. One can't help wishing that Mr. Pugh could have got at him for a single lecture, at least, of the “Star Course,” or that he could have appeared in the Music Hall, “for this night only.”
That Greek line, which I can't recall ever hearing described as extraordinary, includes almost every consonant and vowel sound in the language. Try it with both the Greek and English alphabets; it’s intriguing. Just imagine old Homer delighting in the sound of those resonant syllables as he recited them with passion! It's hard to picture him going around like a street performer, sharing such beautiful music and profound thoughts just to make a living. I can’t help but wish Mr. Pugh had been able to invite him for at least one lecture in the "Star Course," or that he could have performed at the Music Hall, "for this night only."
—I know I have rambled, but I hope you see that this is a delicate way of letting you into the nature of the individual who is, officially, the principal personage at our table. It would hardly do to describe him directly, you know. But you must not think, because the lightning zigzags, it does not know where to strike.
—I know I’ve gone on a bit, but I hope you understand that this is a subtle way of introducing you to the character who is, officially, the main person at our table. It wouldn’t be appropriate to describe him straightforwardly, you see. But don’t think that just because lightning zigzags, it doesn’t know where to hit.
I shall try to go through the rest of my description of our boarders with as little of digression as is consistent with my nature. I think we have a somewhat exceptional company. Since our Landlady has got up in the world, her board has been decidedly a favorite with persons a little above the average in point of intelligence and education. In fact, ever since a boarder of hers, not wholly unknown to the reading public, brought her establishment into notice, it has attracted a considerable number of literary and scientific people, and now and then a politician, like the Member of the House of Representatives, otherwise called the Great and General Court of the State of Massachusetts. The consequence is, that there is more individuality of character than in a good many similar boardinghouses, where all are business-men, engrossed in the same pursuit of money-making, or all are engaged in politics, and so deeply occupied with the welfare of the community that they can think and talk of little else.
I’ll try to get through the rest of my description of our boarders with as few digressions as possible, which is a challenge for me. I believe we have a somewhat unique group. Since our landlady improved her social standing, her boarding house has become quite popular among people who are a bit above average in intelligence and education. In fact, ever since one of her boarders, who is somewhat known to the public, helped to put her place on the map, it has attracted quite a few literary and scientific individuals, and occasionally a politician, like a member of the Massachusetts House of Representatives, also known as the Great and General Court. As a result, there’s a lot more individuality here than in many similar boarding houses, where everyone is a businessperson focused solely on making money, or all are wrapped up in politics and so consumed by community issues that they hardly talk about anything else.
At my left hand sits as singular-looking a human being as I remember seeing outside of a regular museum or tent-show. His black coat shines as if it had been polished; and it has been polished on the wearer's back, no doubt, for the arms and other points of maximum attrition are particularly smooth and bright. Round shoulders,—stooping over some minute labor, I suppose. Very slender limbs, with bends like a grasshopper's; sits a great deal, I presume; looks as if he might straighten them out all of a sudden, and jump instead of walking. Wears goggles very commonly; says it rests his eyes, which he strains in looking at very small objects. Voice has a dry creak, as if made by some small piece of mechanism that wanted oiling. I don't think he is a botanist, for he does not smell of dried herbs, but carries a camphorated atmosphere about with him, as if to keep the moths from attacking him. I must find out what is his particular interest. One ought to know something about his immediate neighbors at the table. This is what I said to myself, before opening a conversation with him. Everybody in our ward of the city was in a great stir about a certain election, and I thought I might as well begin with that as anything.
At my left sits a really unique-looking guy, unlike anyone I remember seeing outside of a regular museum or a sideshow. His black coat shines like it’s been polished, and it’s definitely been rubbed smooth on his back, because the areas that get the most wear are especially shiny. He has rounded shoulders and seems to be leaning over some tiny task, I guess. His limbs are really slender, bending like a grasshopper’s; he probably sits a lot and looks like he could suddenly straighten up and jump instead of walking. He often wears goggles, claiming it helps his eyes, which he strains looking at really small things. His voice has a dry creak, like a little machine that needs oiling. I doubt he’s a botanist since he doesn’t smell like dried herbs, but he carries a camphor scent with him, as if to keep the moths away. I need to find out what he’s really into. You should know a bit about your immediate neighbors at the table. That’s what I thought before starting a conversation with him. Everyone in our part of the city was buzzing about a certain election, so I figured I might as well kick things off with that.
—How do you think the vote is likely to go tomorrow?—I said.
—How do you think the vote will turn out tomorrow?—I said.
—It isn't to-morrow,—he answered,—it 's next month.
—It’s not tomorrow,—he replied,—it’s next month.
—Next month!—said I.—Why, what election do you mean?
—Next month!—I said.—What election are you talking about?
—I mean the election to the Presidency of the Entomological Society, sir,—he creaked, with an air of surprise, as if nobody could by any possibility have been thinking of any other. Great competition, sir, between the dipterists and the lepidopterists as to which shall get in their candidate. Several close ballotings already; adjourned for a fortnight. Poor concerns, both of 'em. Wait till our turn comes.
—I mean the election for the President of the Entomological Society, sir,—he said, sounding surprised, as if no one could possibly be thinking of anything else. There’s a lot of competition, sir, between the dipterists and the lepidopterists about whose candidate will win. We’ve already had several close votes; it’s been postponed for two weeks. Both groups have their issues. Just wait until it’s our turn.
—I suppose you are an entomologist?—I said with a note of interrogation.
—I suppose you’re an entomologist?—I said with a hint of curiosity.
-Not quite so ambitious as that, sir. I should like to put my eyes on the individual entitled to that name! A society may call itself an Entomological Society, but the man who arrogates such a broad title as that to himself, in the present state of science, is a pretender, sir, a dilettante, an impostor! No man can be truly called an entomologist, sir; the subject is too vast for any single human intelligence to grasp.
-Not quite so ambitious as that, sir. I’d like to see the person who claims that title! A society can call itself an Entomological Society, but anyone who takes such a grand title for themselves, given the current state of science, is a pretender, sir, a hobbyist, an impostor! No one can genuinely be called an entomologist, sir; the subject is too vast for any single person to fully understand.
—May I venture to ask,—I said, a little awed by his statement and manner,—what is your special province of study?
—May I ask,—I said, slightly intimidated by his statement and demeanor,—what is your area of study?
I am often spoken of as a Coleopterist,—he said,—but I have no right to so comprehensive a name. The genus Scarabaeus is what I have chiefly confined myself to, and ought to have studied exclusively. The beetles proper are quite enough for the labor of one man's life. Call me a Scarabaeist if you will; if I can prove myself worthy of that name, my highest ambition will be more than satisfied.
I am often referred to as a Coleopterist," he said, "but I don't deserve such a broad title. I've mainly focused on the Scarabaeus genus and should have studied it exclusively. The beetles themselves provide enough work for a lifetime. Call me a Scarabaeist if you want; if I can prove myself deserving of that title, my greatest ambition will be fulfilled.
I think, by way of compromise and convenience, I shall call him the Scarabee. He has come to look wonderfully like those creatures,—the beetles, I mean,—by being so much among them. His room is hung round with cases of them, each impaled on a pin driven through him, something as they used to bury suicides. These cases take the place for him of pictures and all other ornaments. That Boy steals into his room sometimes, and stares at them with great admiration, and has himself undertaken to form a rival cabinet, chiefly consisting of flies, so far, arranged in ranks superintended by an occasional spider.
I think, to keep things simple and fair, I’ll call him the Scarabee. He’s started to look a lot like those creatures—the beetles, I mean—since he spends so much time with them. His room is filled with cases of them, each one pinned through with a needle, just like how they used to handle suicides. These cases serve as his artwork and decorations. That Boy sometimes sneaks into his room and stares at them in awe. He’s even taken on the task of creating his own rival collection, mostly made up of flies for now, arranged in lines with the occasional spider overseeing them.
The old Master, who is a bachelor, has a kindly feeling for this little monkey, and those of his kind.
The old Master, who is single, has a warm affection for this little monkey and others like it.
—I like children,—he said to me one day at table,—I like 'em, and I respect 'em. Pretty much all the honest truth-telling there is in the world is done by them. Do you know they play the part in the household which the king's jester, who very often had a mighty long head under his cap and bells, used to play for a monarch? There 's no radical club like a nest of little folks in a nursery. Did you ever watch a baby's fingers? I have, often enough, though I never knew what it was to own one.—The Master paused half a minute or so,—sighed,—perhaps at thinking what he had missed in life,—looked up at me a little vacantly. I saw what was the matter; he had lost the thread of his talk.
“I like kids,” he said to me one day at the table. “I like them, and I respect them. Almost all the honest truth-telling in the world comes from them. Did you know they play the role in a household that a king’s jester, who often had a pretty sharp mind under his cap and bells, played for a monarch? There’s no radical group like a bunch of little ones in a nursery. Have you ever watched a baby’s fingers? I have, plenty of times, even though I never knew what it was like to have one of my own.” The Master paused for about half a minute, sighed—maybe thinking about what he had missed in life—and looked at me a bit blankly. I could tell what was going on; he had lost his train of thought.
—Baby's fingers,—I intercalated.
—Baby's fingers,—I added.
-Yes, yes; did you ever see how they will poke those wonderful little fingers of theirs into every fold and crack and crevice they can get at? That is their first education, feeling their way into the solid facts of the material world. When they begin to talk it is the same thing over again in another shape. If there is a crack or a flaw in your answer to their confounded shoulder-hitting questions, they will poke and poke until they have got it gaping just as the baby's fingers have made a rent out of that atom of a hole in his pinafore that your old eyes never took notice of. Then they make such fools of us by copying on a small scale what we do in the grand manner. I wonder if it ever occurs to our dried-up neighbor there to ask himself whether That Boy's collection of flies is n't about as significant in the Order of Things as his own Museum of Beetles?
-Yes, yes; have you ever noticed how they poke those tiny little fingers into every fold, crack, and crevice they can find? That's their first lesson, exploring the hard truths of the real world. When they start talking, it's the same thing in a different form. If there's a gap or a flaw in your frustratingly pointed questions, they'll poke and poke until it's wide open, just like the baby's fingers created a tear in that tiny hole in his pinafore that you never even noticed. Then they make us look silly by mimicking on a smaller scale what we do in a grand way. I wonder if it ever crosses our dry neighbor's mind to ask whether That Boy's collection of flies is as meaningful in the grand scheme of things as his own Beetle Museum?
—I couldn't help thinking that perhaps That Boy's questions about the simpler mysteries of life might have a good deal of the same kind of significance as the Master's inquiries into the Order of Things.
—I couldn't help but think that maybe That Boy's questions about the simpler mysteries of life could be just as significant as the Master's inquiries into the Order of Things.
—On my left, beyond my next neighbor the Scarabee, at the end of the table, sits a person of whom we know little, except that he carries about him more palpable reminiscences of tobacco and the allied sources of comfort than a very sensitive organization might find acceptable. The Master does not seem to like him much, for some reason or other,—perhaps he has a special aversion to the odor of tobacco. As his forefinger shows a little too distinctly that he uses a pen, I shall compliment him by calling him the Man of Letters, until I find out more about him.
—On my left, beyond my next-door neighbor the Scarabee, at the end of the table, sits someone we know little about, except that he has a strong smell of tobacco and other comforting scents that might be too much for a more sensitive person. The Master doesn’t seem to care for him much, for some reason—maybe he really dislikes the smell of tobacco. Since his forefinger makes it clear he writes with a pen, I’ll call him the Man of Letters until I learn more about him.
—The Young Girl who sits on my right, next beyond the Master, can hardly be more than nineteen or twenty years old. I wish I could paint her so as to interest others as much as she does me. But she has not a profusion of sunny tresses wreathing a neck of alabaster, and a cheek where the rose and the lily are trying to settle their old quarrel with alternating victory. Her hair is brown, her cheek is delicately pallid, her forehead is too ample for a ball-room beauty's. A single faint line between the eyebrows is the record of long—continued anxious efforts to please in the task she has chosen, or rather which has been forced upon her. It is the same line of anxious and conscientious effort which I saw not long since on the forehead of one of the sweetest and truest singers who has visited us; the same which is so striking on the masks of singing women painted upon the facade of our Great Organ,—that Himalayan home of harmony which you are to see and then die, if you don't live where you can see and hear it often. Many deaths have happened in a neighboring large city from that well-known complaint, Icterus Invidiosorum, after returning from a visit to the Music Hall. The invariable symptom of a fatal attack is the Risus Sardonicus.—But the Young Girl. She gets her living by writing stories for a newspaper. Every week she furnishes a new story. If her head aches or her heart is heavy, so that she does not come to time with her story, she falls behindhand and has to live on credit. It sounds well enough to say that “she supports herself by her pen,” but her lot is a trying one; it repeats the doom of the Danaides. The “Weekly Bucket” has no bottom, and it is her business to help fill it. Imagine for one moment what it is to tell a tale that must flow on, flow ever, without pausing; the lover miserable and happy this week, to begin miserable again next week and end as before; the villain scowling, plotting, punished; to scowl, plot, and get punished again in our next; an endless series of woes and busses, into each paragraph of which the forlorn artist has to throw all the liveliness, all the emotion, all the graces of style she is mistress of, for the wages of a maid of all work, and no more recognition or thanks from anybody than the apprentice who sets the types for the paper that prints her ever-ending and ever-beginning stories. And yet she has a pretty talent, sensibility, a natural way of writing, an ear for the music of verse, in which she sometimes indulges to vary the dead monotony of everlasting narrative, and a sufficient amount of invention to make her stories readable. I have found my eyes dimmed over them oftener than once, more with thinking about her, perhaps, than about her heroes and heroines. Poor little body! Poor little mind! Poor little soul! She is one of that great company of delicate, intelligent, emotional young creatures, who are waiting, like that sail I spoke of, for some breath of heaven to fill their white bosoms,—love, the right of every woman; religious emotion, sister of love, with the same passionate eyes, but cold, thin, bloodless hands,—some enthusiasm of humanity or divinity; and find that life offers them, instead, a seat on a wooden bench, a chain to fasten them to it, and a heavy oar to pull day and night. We read the Arabian tales and pity the doomed lady who must amuse her lord and master from day to day or have her head cut off; how much better is a mouth without bread to fill it than no mouth at all to fill, because no head? We have all round us a weary-eyed company of Scheherezades! This is one of them, and I may call her by that name when it pleases me to do so.
—The young girl sitting to my right, just beyond the Master, can't be more than nineteen or twenty years old. I wish I could paint her in a way that captures others' interest as much as she captures mine. But she doesn't have a thick mane of golden hair framing a neck of white porcelain, nor a cheek where the rose and the lily compete for dominance. Her hair is brown, her complexion is delicately pale, and her forehead is too broad for a ballroom beauty. A faint line between her eyebrows shows the toll of long-standing efforts to please in the role she has chosen—or that has been thrust upon her. It's the same anxious line I've seen on the forehead of one of the sweetest and truest singers who recently visited us; the same line that stands out on the faces of singing women painted on the facade of our Great Organ—a breathtaking place of harmony that you should experience before you die, especially if you don't live somewhere where you can hear it often. Many have succumbed to that well-known affliction, Icterus Invidiosorum, after visiting the Music Hall. The unmistakable sign of a fatal case is the Risus Sardonicus. But back to the young girl. She earns her living by writing stories for a newspaper. Every week, she delivers a new story. If she has a headache or feels down, and doesn't meet her deadline, she falls behind and has to rely on credit. It's nice to say that “she supports herself with her writing,” but her situation is tough; it mirrors the fate of the Danaids. The “Weekly Bucket” is bottomless, and it's her job to help fill it. Just imagine what it's like to tell a story that must continue endlessly, the lover jumping from misery to happiness one week, back to misery the next; the villain scowling, plotting, and being punished; and then scowling, plotting, and facing punishment again in the next installment—an unending cycle of woes and love affairs into which this forlorn artist must pour all her energy, emotion, and stylistic grace for the pay of a jack-of-all-trades, receiving no more acknowledgment than the apprentice who sets the types for the paper that publishes her never-ending stories. And yet she has genuine talent, sensitivity, a natural writing style, and an ear for the music of verse, which she sometimes uses to break the monotonous cycle of endless narratives, along with enough imagination to make her stories enjoyable. I've found myself misty-eyed over them more than once, probably more out of concern for her than for her characters. Poor little thing! Poor little mind! Poor little soul! She is one of many delicate, intelligent, emotional young people waiting, like the sail I mentioned, for a breath of inspiration to fill their hearts—love, a basic right for every woman; spiritual emotion, love's cousin with the same passionate eyes but cold, thin, bloodless hands; or some enthusiasm for humanity or divinity; only to find that life offers them, instead, a spot on a wooden bench, a chain to keep them tied down, and a heavy oar to pull day and night. We read the Arabian tales and feel sorry for the doomed woman who must entertain her husband each day, or face execution; how much better is it to go hungry than to have no mouth at all, because you have lost your head? All around us are a weary-eyed crew of Scheherazades! This is one of them, and I can call her by that name whenever I please.
The next boarder I have to mention is the one who sits between the Young Girl and the Landlady. In a little chamber into which a small thread of sunshine finds its way for half an hour or so every day during a month or six weeks of the spring or autumn, at all other times obliged to content itself with ungilded daylight, lives this boarder, whom, without wronging any others of our company, I may call, as she is very generally called in the household, The Lady. In giving her this name it is not meant that there are no other ladies at our table, or that the handmaids who serve us are not ladies, or to deny the general proposition that everybody who wears the unbifurcated garment is entitled to that appellation. Only this lady has a look and manner which there is no mistaking as belonging to a person always accustomed to refined and elegant society. Her style is perhaps a little more courtly and gracious than some would like. The language and manner which betray the habitual desire of pleasing, and which add a charm to intercourse in the higher social circles, are liable to be construed by sensitive beings unused to such amenities as an odious condescension when addressed to persons of less consideration than the accused, and as a still more odious—you know the word—when directed to those who are esteemed by the world as considerable person ages. But of all this the accused are fortunately wholly unconscious, for there is nothing so entirely natural and unaffected as the highest breeding.
The next boarder I need to mention is the one who sits between the Young Girl and the Landlady. In a small room that gets a little bit of sunshine for half an hour every day during a month or six weeks of spring or autumn, and at all other times has to settle for plain daylight, lives this boarder, whom, without offending anyone else in our group, I can call, as she is often referred to in the household, The Lady. Giving her this title doesn't mean that there are no other ladies at our table, or that the maids who serve us aren’t ladies too, or to suggest that everyone who wears a dress deserves that label. It’s just that this lady has an unmistakable look and demeanor typical of someone who is always around refined and elegant society. Her style might be a bit more formal and gracious than some would prefer. The language and mannerisms that show her constant desire to please, which add charm to conversations in upper social circles, might come across to sensitive people unaccustomed to such niceties as annoying condescension when addressing those of lesser status, and even more so—you know the word—when speaking to those regarded by society as significant individuals. Thankfully, the ones addressed are completely unaware of all this, as nothing is more natural and genuine than true refinement.
From an aspect of dignified but undisguised economy which showed itself in her dress as well as in her limited quarters, I suspected a story of shipwrecked fortune, and determined to question our Landlady. That worthy woman was delighted to tell the history of her most distinguished boarder. She was, as I had supposed, a gentlewoman whom a change of circumstances had brought down from her high estate.
From a dignified yet clearly economical style that was evident in her clothing and modest living space, I suspected there was a story of lost wealth and decided to ask our Landlady about it. That kind woman was more than happy to share the story of her most notable tenant. As I had guessed, she was a woman of high social standing who had fallen on hard times due to changing circumstances.
—Did I know the Goldenrod family?—Of course I did.—Well, the Lady, was first cousin to Mrs. Midas Goldenrod. She had been here in her carriage to call upon her,—not very often.—Were her rich relations kind and helpful to her?—Well, yes; at least they made her presents now and then. Three or four years ago they sent her a silver waiter, and every Christmas they sent her a boquet,—it must cost as much as five dollars, the Landlady thought.
—Did I know the Goldenrod family?—Of course I did.—Well, the Lady was a first cousin to Mrs. Midas Goldenrod. She had come here in her carriage to visit her—not very often.—Were her wealthy relatives kind and supportive to her?—Well, yes; at least they gave her gifts from time to time. Three or four years ago, they sent her a silver tray, and every Christmas they sent her a bouquet—it must cost around five dollars, the Landlady thought.
—And how did the Lady receive these valuable and useful gifts?
—And how did the Lady react to these valuable and useful gifts?
—Every Christmas she got out the silver waiter and borrowed a glass tumbler and filled it with water, and put the boquet in it and set it on the waiter. It smelt sweet enough and looked pretty for a day or two, but the Landlady thought it wouldn't have hurt 'em if they'd sent a piece of goods for a dress, or at least a pocket-handkercher or two, or something or other that she could 'a' made some kind of use of; but beggars must n't be choosers; not that she was a beggar, for she'd sooner die than do that if she was in want of a meal of victuals. There was a lady I remember, and she had a little boy and she was a widow, and after she'd buried her husband she was dreadful poor, and she was ashamed to let her little boy go out in his old shoes, and copper-toed shoes they was too, because his poor little ten—toes—was a coming out of 'em; and what do you think my husband's rich uncle,—well, there now, it was me and my little Benjamin, as he was then, there's no use in hiding of it,—and what do you think my husband's uncle sent me but a plaster of Paris image of a young woman, that was,—well, her appearance wasn't respectable, and I had to take and wrap her up in a towel and poke her right into my closet, and there she stayed till she got her head broke and served her right, for she was n't fit to show folks. You need n't say anything about what I told you, but the fact is I was desperate poor before I began to support myself taking boarders, and a lone woman without her—her—
—Every Christmas, she would take out the silver tray and borrow a glass tumbler to fill with water, placing the bouquet in it and setting it on the tray. It smelled sweet enough and looked nice for a day or two, but the landlady thought it wouldn't have hurt them to send something useful like a piece of clothing or at least a couple of handkerchiefs, or anything she could have made use of. But beggars can't be choosers; not that she considered herself a beggar, as she'd rather starve than ask for a meal. I remember a lady with a little boy who was a widow. After she buried her husband, she fell into hard times and was embarrassed to let her son go out in his old shoes—worn-out copper-toed ones, with his tiny toes nearly poking out. And what do you think my husband's wealthy uncle sent me? Me and little Benjamin—it’s no use pretending—and he sent a plaster of Paris statue of a young woman who looked quite improper. I had to wrap her in a towel and shove her into my closet, where she stayed until she got her head broken, and frankly, she deserved it because she wasn’t fit to be seen. You don’t have to mention anything about what I told you, but the truth is I was desperately poor before I started taking in boarders, and as a lone woman without her—her—
The sentence plunged into the gulf of her great remembered sorrow, and was lost to the records of humanity.
The sentence fell deep into her overwhelming memories of sadness and was forgotten by the world.
—Presently she continued in answer to my questions: The Lady was not very sociable; kept mostly to herself. The Young Girl (our Scheherezade) used to visit her sometimes, and they seemed to like each other, but the Young Girl had not many spare hours for visiting. The Lady never found fault, but she was very nice in her tastes, and kept everything about her looking as neat and pleasant as she could.
—Right now, she continued in response to my questions: The Lady wasn't very social; she mostly kept to herself. The Young Girl (our Scheherezade) would visit her sometimes, and they seemed to enjoy each other's company, but the Young Girl didn't have many free hours for visits. The Lady never complained, but she had great taste and made sure everything around her looked as neat and pleasant as possible.
—What did she do?—Why, she read, and she drew pictures, and she did needlework patterns, and played on an old harp she had; the gilt was mostly off, but it sounded very sweet, and she sung to it sometimes, those old songs that used to be in fashion twenty or thirty years ago, with words to 'em that folks could understand.
—What did she do?—Well, she read, drew pictures, worked on needlework patterns, and played on an old harp she had; most of the gold was worn off, but it sounded really nice, and she would sometimes sing along to those old songs that were popular twenty or thirty years ago, with lyrics that people could understand.
Did she do anything to help support herself?—The Landlady couldn't say she did, but she thought there was rich people enough that ought to buy the flowers and things she worked and painted.
Did she do anything to help support herself?—The Landlady couldn't say she did, but she thought there were enough wealthy people who should be buying the flowers and things she worked on and painted.
All this points to the fact that she was bred to be an ornamental rather than what is called a useful member of society. This is all very well so long as fortune favors those who are chosen to be the ornamental personages; but if the golden tide recedes and leaves them stranded, they are more to be pitied than almost any other class. “I cannot dig, to beg I am ashamed.”
All this shows that she was raised to be decorative rather than what’s considered a useful member of society. This works out fine as long as luck is on the side of those selected to be the decorative figures; but if that luck runs out and leaves them in a tough spot, they're more to be pitied than almost any other group. “I can’t dig; I'm too ashamed to beg.”
I think it is unpopular in this country to talk much about gentlemen and gentlewomen. People are touchy about social distinctions, which no doubt are often invidious and quite arbitrary and accidental, but which it is impossible to avoid recognizing as facts of natural history. Society stratifies itself everywhere, and the stratum which is generally recognized as the uppermost will be apt to have the advantage in easy grace of manner and in unassuming confidence, and consequently be more agreeable in the superficial relations of life. To compare these advantages with the virtues and utilities would be foolish. Much of the noblest work in life is done by ill-dressed, awkward, ungainly persons; but that is no more reason for undervaluing good manners and what we call high-breeding, than the fact that the best part of the sturdy labor of the world is done by men with exceptionable hands is to be urged against the use of Brown Windsor as a preliminary to appearance in cultivated society.
I think it's not well-received in this country to talk a lot about gentlemen and gentlewomen. People get sensitive about social distinctions, which are often unfair and rather random, but it's impossible to ignore them as facts of our social reality. Society divides itself in every place, and the class generally seen as the highest is likely to have an edge in relaxed manners and confident humility, making them more pleasant in casual interactions. Comparing these advantages with true virtues and practical benefits would be unwise. A lot of the most admirable work in life is done by people who are poorly dressed, clumsy, and awkward; however, that doesn't mean we should undervalue good manners and what we refer to as refinement any more than the fact that much of the essential labor in the world is performed by people with rough hands should discourage the use of Brown Windsor before appearing in polite society.
I mean to stand up for this poor lady, whose usefulness in the world is apparently problematical. She seems to me like a picture which has fallen from its gilded frame and lies, face downward, on the dusty floor. The picture never was as needful as a window or a door, but it was pleasant to see it in its place, and it would be pleasant to see it there again, and I, for one, should be thankful to have the Lady restored by some turn of fortune to the position from which she has been so cruelly cast down.
I intend to defend this poor woman, whose value in the world seems questionable. She reminds me of a picture that has fallen from its ornate frame and is lying face down on the dusty floor. The picture wasn’t as essential as a window or a door, but it was nice to have it where it belonged, and it would be nice to see it there again. I, for one, would be grateful if fortune allowed the Lady to return to her rightful place from which she has been so harshly knocked down.
—I have asked the Landlady about the young man sitting near her, the same who attracted my attention the other day while I was talking, as I mentioned. He passes most of his time in a private observatory, it appears; a watcher of the stars. That I suppose gives the peculiar look to his lustrous eyes. The Master knows him and was pleased to tell me something about him.
—I asked the landlady about the young man sitting next to her, the same one who caught my attention the other day while I was talking, as I mentioned. It seems he spends most of his time in a private observatory, watching the stars. I guess that’s what gives his bright eyes that unique look. The master knows him and was happy to share some information about him.
You call yourself a Poet,—he said,—and we call you so, too, and so you are; I read your verses and like 'em. But that young man lives in a world beyond the imagination of poets, let me tell you. The daily home of his thought is in illimitable space, hovering between the two eternities. In his contemplations the divisions of time run together, as in the thought of his Maker. With him also,—I say it not profanely,—one day is as a thousand years and a thousand years as one day.
You call yourself a poet," he said, "and we agree with you, and so you are; I read your poems and I like them. But that young man lives in a world that's beyond what poets can imagine, let me tell you. His thoughts are based in endless space, floating between two eternities. In his reflections, the divisions of time blend together, just like in the mind of his Creator. For him too—I don't say this disrespectfully—one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years is like one day.
This account of his occupation increased the interest his look had excited in me, and I have observed him more particularly and found out more about him. Sometimes, after a long night's watching, he looks so pale and worn, that one would think the cold moonlight had stricken him with some malign effluence such as it is fabled to send upon those who sleep in it. At such times he seems more like one who has come from a planet farther away from the sun than our earth, than like one of us terrestrial creatures. His home is truly in the heavens, and he practises an asceticism in the cause of science almost comparable to that of Saint Simeon Stylites. Yet they tell me he might live in luxury if he spent on himself what he spends on science. His knowledge is of that strange, remote character, that it seems sometimes almost superhuman. He knows the ridges and chasms of the moon as a surveyor knows a garden-plot he has measured. He watches the snows that gather around the poles of Mars; he is on the lookout for the expected comet at the moment when its faint stain of diffused light first shows itself; he analyzes the ray that comes from the sun's photosphere; he measures the rings of Saturn; he counts his asteroids to see that none are missing, as the shepherd counts the sheep in his flock. A strange unearthly being; lonely, dwelling far apart from the thoughts and cares of the planet on which he lives,—an enthusiast who gives his life to knowledge; a student of antiquity, to whom the records of the geologist are modern pages in the great volume of being, and the pyramids a memorandum of yesterday, as the eclipse or occultation that is to take place thousands of years hence is an event of to-morrow in the diary without beginning and without end where he enters the aspect of the passing moment as it is read on the celestial dial.
This description of his profession only deepened the fascination I had for his appearance, so I started to observe him more closely and learned more about him. Sometimes, after a long night of watching, he looks so pale and exhausted that it seems like the cold moonlight has affected him in some harmful way, as stories say it does to those who sleep under it. During these moments, he resembles someone who has come from a planet farther from the sun than ours, rather than someone like us earthly beings. His true home is in the sky, and he lives with an intense dedication to science, almost like that of Saint Simeon Stylites. Yet, I've heard he could enjoy a life of luxury if he spent on himself what he invests in his scientific pursuits. His knowledge is so unique and distant that it sometimes feels almost superhuman. He knows the moon's ridges and valleys as intimately as a surveyor knows a garden they've measured. He observes the snow accumulating at the poles of Mars; he eagerly awaits the moment the anticipated comet first appears as a faint smear of light; he analyzes the rays coming from the sun's surface; he measures the rings of Saturn; he counts his asteroids to make sure none are missing, just like a shepherd counts the sheep in his care. He is a strange, otherworldly figure; isolated, removed from the thoughts and worries of the planet he inhabits—an enthusiast who dedicates his life to knowledge; a student of the past for whom the geologist’s records are contemporary chapters in the vast story of existence, and the pyramids are a note from yesterday, just as an eclipse or astronomical event expected thousands of years in the future feels like a tomorrow in the endless diary where he records the moment as it is revealed on the celestial clock.
In very marked contrast with this young man is the something more than middle-aged Register of Deeds, a rusty, sallow, smoke-dried looking personage, who belongs to this earth as exclusively as the other belongs to the firmament. His movements are as mechanical as those of a pendulum,—to the office, where he changes his coat and plunges into messuages and building-lots; then, after changing his coat again, back to our table, and so, day by day, the dust of years gradually gathering around him as it does on the old folios that fill the shelves all round the great cemetery of past transactions of which he is the sexton.
In sharp contrast to this young man is the somewhat middle-aged Register of Deeds, a worn-out, pale, smoke-stained individual who exists on this earth as exclusively as the other exists in the sky. His movements are as mechanical as a pendulum—he goes to the office, changes his coat, and dives into property records and building lots; then, after changing his coat again, he returns to our table, and so it goes, day after day, with the dust of years slowly accumulating around him like it does on the old books that fill the shelves of the vast graveyard of past transactions where he serves as the keeper.
Of the Salesman who sits next him, nothing need be said except that he is good-looking, rosy, well-dressed, and of very polite manners, only a little more brisk than the approved style of carriage permits, as one in the habit of springing with a certain alacrity at the call of a customer.
Of the salesman sitting next to him, there's not much to say except that he's good-looking, rosy-cheeked, well-dressed, and very polite—just a bit more lively than what's typically acceptable, as someone who’s used to jumping up quickly when a customer calls.
You would like to see, I don't doubt, how we sit at the table, and I will help you by means of a diagram which shows the present arrangement of our seats.
You probably want to see how we’re sitting at the table, and I’ll help you out with a diagram that shows our current seating arrangement.
4 3 2 1 14 13 ————————————————- | O O O O O O | | | 5 | O Breakfast-Table O |12 | | | O O O O O O | ————————————————- 6 7 8 9 10 11 1. The Poet. 2. The Master Of Arts. 3. The Young Girl (Scheherezade). 4. The Lady. 5. The Landlady. 6. Dr. B. Franklin. 7. That Boy. 8. The Astronomer. 9. The Member of the Haouse. 10. The Register of Deeds. 11. The Salesman. 12. The Capitalist. 13. The Man of Letters(?). 14. The Scarabee.
``` 4 3 2 1 14 13 ————————————————- | O O O O O O | | | 5 | O Breakfast Table O |12 | | | O O O O O O | ————————————————- 6 7 8 9 10 11 1. The Poet. 2. The Master of Arts. 3. The Young Girl (Scheherezade). 4. The Lady. 5. The Landlady. 6. Dr. B. Franklin. 7. That Boy. 8. The Astronomer. 9. The Member of the House. 10. The Registrar of Deeds. 11. The Salesman. 12. The Capitalist. 13. The Man of Letters(?). 14. The Scarab. ```
Our young Scheherezade varies her prose stories now and then, as I told you, with compositions in verse, one or two of which she has let me look over. Here is one of them, which she allowed me to copy. It is from a story of hers, “The Sun-Worshipper's Daughter,” which you may find in the periodical before mentioned, to which she is a contributor, if your can lay your hand upon a file of it. I think our Scheherezade has never had a lover in human shape, or she would not play so lightly with the firebrands of the great passion.
Our young Scheherezade mixes her prose stories from time to time, as I mentioned, with some poems, one or two of which she has shown me. Here’s one of them that she let me copy. It’s from her story, “The Sun-Worshipper's Daughter,” which you can find in the aforementioned periodical, where she contributes, if you can get hold of a copy of it. I think our Scheherezade has never had a lover in real life, or she wouldn't flirt so casually with the flames of deep passion.
FANTASIA. Kiss mine eyelids, beauteous Morn, Blushing into life new-born! Lend me violets for my hair, And thy russet robe to wear, And thy ring of rosiest hue Set in drops of diamond dew! Kiss my cheek, thou noontide ray, From my Love so far away! Let thy splendor streaming down Turn its pallid lilies brown, Till its darkening shades reveal Where his passion pressed its seal! Kiss my lips, thou Lord of light, Kiss my lips a soft good night! Westward sinks thy golden car; Leave me but the evening star, And my solace that shall be, Borrowing all its light from thee!
FANTASIA. Kiss my eyelids, beautiful Morning, Blushing into life, reborn! Lend me violets for my hair, And your brown robe to wear, And your ring of the brightest hue Set in drops of diamond dew! Kiss my cheek, you noontime ray, From my Love so far away! Let your splendor streaming down Turn its pale lilies brown, Until the darkening shades reveal Where his passion left its seal! Kiss my lips, you Lord of light, Kiss my lips a soft good night! Westward sinks your golden chariot; Leave me just the evening star, And my comfort that shall be, Borrowing all its light from you!
III
The old Master was talking about a concert he had been to hear.—I don't like your chopped music anyway. That woman—she had more sense in her little finger than forty medical societies—Florence Nightingale—says that the music you pour out is good for sick folks, and the music you pound out isn't. Not that exactly, but something like it. I have been to hear some music-pounding. It was a young woman, with as many white muslin flounces round her as the planet Saturn has rings, that did it. She—gave the music-stool a twirl or two and fluffed down on to it like a whirl of soap-suds in a hand-basin. Then she pushed up her cuffs as if she was going to fight for the champion's belt. Then she worked her wrists and her hands, to limber 'em, I suppose, and spread out her fingers till they looked as though they would pretty much cover the key-board, from the growling end to the little squeaky one. Then those two hands of hers made a jump at the keys as if they were a couple of tigers coming down on a flock of black and white sheep, and the piano gave a great howl as if its tail had been trod on. Dead stop,—so still you could hear your hair growing. Then another jump, and another howl, as if the piano had two tails and you had trod on both of 'em at once, and, then a grand clatter and scramble and string of jumps, up and down, back and forward, one hand over the other, like a stampede of rats and mice more than like anything I call music. I like to hear a woman sing, and I like to hear a fiddle sing, but these noises they hammer out of their wood and ivory anvils—don't talk to me, I know the difference between a bullfrog and a woodthrush and—
The old Master was talking about a concert he had attended. "I don't like your overly complicated music anyway. That woman—she had more sense in her little finger than forty medical societies. Florence Nightingale says that the music you play is good for sick people, and the music you pound out isn't. Not exactly that, but something like it. I've listened to some of that pounding music. It was a young woman, wearing as many white muslin layers around her as Saturn has rings, who performed. She twirled a bit on her music stool and flopped down onto it like a whirl of soap bubbles in a sink. Then she pushed up her sleeves as if she was getting ready for a championship fight. She worked her wrists and hands, probably to warm them up, and spread her fingers out until they seemed like they would almost cover the entire keyboard, from the low notes to the high ones. Then those two hands of hers leapt at the keys like a pair of tigers going after a group of black and white sheep, and the piano let out a loud yelp as if its tail had been stepped on. Complete silence—so quiet you could hear your hair growing. Then another leap, and another yelp, as if the piano had two tails and you stepped on both at once, followed by a grand clatter and chaos of jumps, up and down, back and forth, one hand over the other, like a stampede of rats and mice rather than anything I consider music. I enjoy hearing a woman sing, and I like the sound of a fiddle, but these noises they bang out of their wooden and ivory instruments—don't talk to me, I know the difference between a bullfrog and a woodthrush and—"
Pop! went a small piece of artillery such as is made of a stick of elder and carries a pellet of very moderate consistency. That Boy was in his seat and looking demure enough, but there could be no question that he was the artillery-man who had discharged the missile. The aim was not a bad one, for it took the Master full in the forehead, and had the effect of checking the flow of his eloquence. How the little monkey had learned to time his interruptions I do not know, but I have observed more than once before this, that the popgun would go off just at the moment when some one of the company was getting too energetic or prolix. The Boy isn't old enough to judge for himself when to intervene to change the order of conversation; no, of course he isn't. Somebody must give him a hint. Somebody.—Who is it? I suspect Dr. B. Franklin. He looks too knowing. There is certainly a trick somewhere. Why, a day or two ago I was myself discoursing, with considerable effect, as I thought, on some of the new aspects of humanity, when I was struck full on the cheek by one of these little pellets, and there was such a confounded laugh that I had to wind up and leave off with a preposition instead of a good mouthful of polysyllables. I have watched our young Doctor, however, and have been entirely unable to detect any signs of communication between him and this audacious child, who is like to become a power among us, for that popgun is fatal to any talker who is hit by its pellet. I have suspected a foot under the table as the prompter, but I have been unable to detect the slightest movement or look as if he were making one, on the part of Dr. Benjamin Franklin. I cannot help thinking of the flappers in Swift's Laputa, only they gave one a hint when to speak and another a hint to listen, whereas the popgun says unmistakably, “Shut up!”
Pop! went a small piece of artillery made from a stick of elder that shoots a pellet of pretty mild consistency. That Boy was sitting there looking innocent enough, but there was no doubt he was the one who fired the shot. The aim wasn't bad, either — it hit the Master right in the forehead and interrupted his speech perfectly. I have no idea how that little rascal figured out when to make his interruptions, but I've noticed it happens just when someone in the group starts getting a little too passionate or long-winded. The Boy isn’t old enough to know when to jump in and change the direction of the conversation; no, he definitely isn’t. Someone must be giving him a cue. Someone. Who could it be? I suspect Dr. B. Franklin. He has that too-smart look. There’s definitely some trickery involved. Just the other day, I was giving what I thought was an impactful talk on some new ideas about humanity when one of those little pellets hit me right on the cheek, and there was such a loud laugh that I had to stop mid-sentence instead of finishing my complex thoughts. I've been keeping an eye on our young Doctor, but I haven’t been able to find any sign of him communicating with this bold kid who might just become a force among us, since that popgun is deadly to any speaker hit by its pellet. I thought it might be a foot under the table giving signals, but I couldn’t spot anything like that from Dr. Benjamin Franklin. It reminds me of the flappers in Swift's Laputa, only they would give one person a hint to talk and another hint to listen, while the popgun very clearly says, “Shut up!”
—I should be sorry to lose my confidence in Dr. B. Franklin, who seems very much devoted to his business, and whom I mean to consult about some small symptoms I have had lately. Perhaps it is coming to a new boarding-house. The young people who come into Paris from the provinces are very apt—so I have been told by one that knows—to have an attack of typhoid fever a few weeks or months after their arrival. I have not been long enough at this table to get well acclimated; perhaps that is it. Boarding-House Fever. Something like horse-ail, very likely,—horses get it, you know, when they are brought to city stables. A little “off my feed,” as Hiram Woodruff would say. A queer discoloration about my forehead. Query, a bump? Cannot remember any. Might have got it against bedpost or something while asleep. Very unpleasant to look so. I wonder how my portrait would look, if anybody should take it now! I hope not quite so badly as one I saw the other day, which I took for the end man of the Ethiopian Serenaders, or some traveller who had been exploring the sources of the Niger, until I read the name at the bottom and found it was a face I knew as well as my own.
—I’d hate to lose my trust in Dr. B. Franklin, who seems really dedicated to his work, and I plan to talk to him about some minor symptoms I’ve been experiencing lately. Maybe it’s because I’m adjusting to a new boarding house. I’ve been told by someone who knows that young people coming to Paris from the provinces often develop typhoid fever a few weeks or months after arriving. I haven’t been at this table long enough to fully adapt; maybe that’s the issue. Boarding-House Fever. Something like horse ailment, probably—horses get it, you know, when they are taken to city stables. I feel a bit “off my feed,” as Hiram Woodruff would say. There’s a strange discoloration on my forehead. Could it be a bump? I can’t recall anything. I might have hit it against the bedpost or something while I was asleep. It’s very unpleasant to look like this. I wonder how my portrait would come out if someone took it now! I hope it doesn’t turn out as badly as one I saw the other day, which I mistook for the end man of the Ethiopian Serenaders, or some traveler who had been exploring the sources of the Niger, until I read the name at the bottom and realized it was a face I knew as well as my own.
I must consult somebody, and it is nothing more than fair to give our young Doctor a chance. Here goes for Dr. Benjamin Franklin.
I need to talk to someone, and it’s only fair to give our young Doctor a chance. Let’s go with Dr. Benjamin Franklin.
The young Doctor has a very small office and a very large sign, with a transparency at night big enough for an oyster-shop. These young doctors are particularly strong, as I understand, on what they call diagnosis,—an excellent branch of the healing art, full of satisfaction to the curious practitioner, who likes to give the right Latin name to one's complaint; not quite so satisfactory to the patient, as it is not so very much pleasanter to be bitten by a dog with a collar round his neck telling you that he is called Snap or Teaser, than by a dog without a collar. Sometimes, in fact, one would a little rather not know the exact name of his complaint, as if he does he is pretty sure to look it out in a medical dictionary, and then if he reads, This terrible disease is attended with vast suffering and is inevitably mortal, or any such statement, it is apt to affect him unpleasantly.
The young doctor has a tiny office and a huge sign, with a bright night display big enough for a seafood restaurant. These young doctors are particularly good at what they call diagnosis—an important part of medicine that's satisfying for the curious practitioner who enjoys giving the right Latin name to someone's issue; however, it’s not as satisfying for the patient, since it’s not really nicer to be bitten by a dog with a collar that tells you his name is Snap or Teaser, than by a dog without a collar. Sometimes, honestly, it would be better not to know the exact name of a complaint because once you do, you’re likely to look it up in a medical dictionary, and if you read, "This terrible disease is associated with great suffering and is inevitably fatal," or any similar statement, it can be quite distressing.
I confess to a little shakiness when I knocked at Dr. Benjamin's office door. “Come in!” exclaimed Dr. B. F. in tones that sounded ominous and sepulchral. And I went in.
I admit I was a little nervous when I knocked on Dr. Benjamin's office door. “Come in!” Dr. B. F. called out in a voice that sounded dark and serious. So, I walked in.
I don't believe the chambers of the Inquisition ever presented a more alarming array of implements for extracting a confession, than our young Doctor's office did of instruments to make nature tell what was the matter with a poor body.
I don't think the Inquisition ever had a more frightening collection of tools for forcing a confession than our young Doctor's office had for getting to the bottom of what was wrong with someone's body.
There were Ophthalmoscopes and Rhinoscopes and Otoscopes and Laryngoscopes and Stethoscopes; and Thermometers and Spirometers and Dynamometers and Sphygmometers and Pleximeters; and Probes and Probangs and all sorts of frightful inquisitive exploring contrivances; and scales to weigh you in, and tests and balances and pumps and electro-magnets and magneto-electric machines; in short, apparatus for doing everything but turn you inside out.
There were ophthalmoscopes and rhinoscopes and otoscopes and laryngoscopes and stethoscopes; and thermometers and spirometers and dynamometers and sphygmometers and pleximeters; and probes and probangs and all kinds of scary, inquisitive exploring devices; and scales to weigh you, and tests and balances and pumps and electromagnets and magneto-electric machines; in short, tools for doing everything but turning you inside out.
Dr. Benjamin set me down before his one window and began looking at me with such a superhuman air of sagacity, that I felt like one of those open-breasted clocks which make no secret of their inside arrangements, and almost thought he could see through me as one sees through a shrimp or a jelly-fish. First he looked at the place inculpated, which had a sort of greenish-brown color, with his naked eyes, with much corrugation of forehead and fearful concentration of attention; then through a pocket-glass which he carried. Then he drew back a space, for a perspective view. Then he made me put out my tongue and laid a slip of blue paper on it, which turned red and scared me a little. Next he took my wrist; but instead of counting my pulse in the old-fashioned way, he fastened a machine to it that marked all the beats on a sheet of paper,—for all the world like a scale of the heights of mountains, say from Mount Tom up to Chimborazo and then down again, and up again, and so on. In the mean time he asked me all sorts of questions about myself and all my relatives, whether we had been subject to this and that malady, until I felt as if we must some of us have had more or less of them, and could not feel quite sure whether Elephantiasis and Beriberi and Progressive Locomotor Ataxy did not run in the family.
Dr. Benjamin set me down in front of his one window and stared at me with such an extraordinary air of wisdom that I felt like one of those clear-faced clocks that reveal all their inner workings. I almost thought he could see right through me, like looking through a shrimp or a jellyfish. First, he examined the affected area, which had a sort of greenish-brown color, with an intense furrowed brow and a focus that was almost fearful. Then he used a pocket magnifying glass to get a better look. Next, he stepped back to get a broader view. After that, he had me stick out my tongue and placed a strip of blue paper on it, which turned red and startled me a bit. Then he took my wrist; instead of counting my pulse the old-fashioned way, he attached a machine that recorded all the beats on a piece of paper—like a chart of mountain heights, say from Mount Tom to Chimborazo and back again, and up again, and so on. Meanwhile, he asked me all kinds of questions about myself and my family, inquiring if we had been prone to this or that illness, until I felt like some of us must have had a bit of everything, and I couldn't quite shake the feeling that Elephantiasis, Beriberi, and Progressive Locomotor Ataxy might be hereditary.
After all this overhauling of myself and my history, he paused and looked puzzled. Something was suggested about what he called an “exploratory puncture.” This I at once declined, with thanks. Suddenly a thought struck him. He looked still more closely at the discoloration I have spoken of.
After all this reworking of myself and my past, he paused and looked confused. He mentioned something about what he called an “exploratory puncture.” I immediately declined that offer, thanking him. Suddenly, a thought came to him. He examined the discoloration I mentioned even more closely.
—Looks like—I declare it reminds me of—very rare! very curious! It would be strange if my first case—of this kind—should be one of our boarders!
—Looks like—I think it reminds me of—very rare! very curious! It would be strange if my first case—of this kind—should be one of our boarders!
What kind of a case do you call it?—I said, with a sort of feeling that he could inflict a severe or a light malady on me, as if he were a judge passing sentence.
What kind of case do you call it?—I said, feeling like he could either give me a serious or minor illness, as if he were a judge handing down a sentence.
—The color reminds me,—said Dr. B. Franklin,—of what I have seen in a case of Addison's Disease, Morbus Addisonii.
—The color reminds me,—said Dr. B. Franklin,—of what I have seen in a case of Addison's Disease, Morbus Addisonii.
—But my habits are quite regular,—I said; for I remembered that the distinguished essayist was too fond of his brandy and water, and I confess that the thought was not pleasant to me of following Dr. Johnson's advice, with the slight variation of giving my days and my nights to trying on the favorite maladies of Addison.
—But my habits are pretty regular,—I said; because I recalled that the well-known essayist enjoyed his brandy and water a bit too much, and I admit that the idea of taking Dr. Johnson's advice, with a minor twist of dedicating my days and nights to trying out Addison's preferred ailments, was not a pleasant thought.
—Temperance people are subject to it!—exclaimed Dr. Benjamin, almost exultingly, I thought.
—Temperance people are susceptible to it!—exclaimed Dr. Benjamin, almost gleefully, I thought.
—But I had the impression that the author of the Spectator was afflicted with a dropsy, or some such inflated malady, to which persons of sedentary and bibacious habits are liable. [A literary swell,—I thought to myself, but I did not say it. I felt too serious.]
—But I felt like the author of the Spectator was suffering from some kind of swelling, like dropsy, which tends to affect people who lead a sedentary lifestyle and drink a lot. [A literary snob, I thought to myself, but I didn’t say it. I felt too serious.]
—The author of the Spectator!—cried out Dr. Benjamin,—I mean the celebrated Dr. Addison, inventor, I would say discoverer, of the wonderful new disease called after him.
—The author of the Spectator!—shouted Dr. Benjamin,—I mean the famous Dr. Addison, the one who created, or rather discovered, the amazing new disease that’s named after him.
—And what may this valuable invention or discovery consist in?—I asked, for I was curious to know the nature of the gift which this benefactor of the race had bestowed upon us.
—And what exactly is this valuable invention or discovery?—I asked, since I was eager to understand the nature of the gift that this benefactor of humanity had given us.
—A most interesting affection, and rare, too. Allow me to look closely at that discoloration once more for a moment. Cutis cenea, bronze skin, they call it sometimes—extraordinary pigmentation—a little more to the light, if you please—ah! now I get the bronze coloring admirably, beautifully! Would you have any objection to showing your case to the Societies of Medical Improvement and Medical Observation?
—A very interesting condition, and quite rare too. Let me take another close look at that discoloration for a moment. They sometimes call it cutis cenea, or bronze skin—such extraordinary pigmentation—just a bit more light, if you don't mind—ah! now I can see the bronze color perfectly, beautifully! Would you mind showing your case to the Societies of Medical Improvement and Medical Observation?
[—My case! O dear!] May I ask if any vital organ is commonly involved in this interesting complaint?—I said, faintly.
[—My case! Oh dear!] Can I ask if any important organ is usually affected in this interesting issue?—I said, weakly.
—Well, sir,—the young Doctor replied,—there is an organ which is —sometimes—a little touched, I may say; a very curious and ingenious little organ or pair of organs. Did you ever hear of the Capsulae, Suprarenales?
—Well, sir,—the young Doctor replied,—there's an organ that is —sometimes—a little affected, I might say; a very interesting and clever little organ or pair of organs. Have you ever heard of the Adrenal Glands?
—No,—said I,—is it a mortal complaint?—I ought to have known better than to ask such a question, but I was getting nervous and thinking about all sorts of horrid maladies people are liable to, with horrid names to match.
—No,—I said,—is it a serious illness?—I should have known better than to ask such a question, but I was getting anxious and thinking about all kinds of awful diseases people can have, with terrible names to go along with them.
—It is n't a complaint,—I mean they are not a complaint,—they are two small organs, as I said, inside of you, and nobody knows what is the use of them. The most curious thing is that when anything is the matter with them you turn of the color of bronze. After all, I didn't mean to say I believed it was Morbus Addisonii; I only thought of that when I saw the discoloration.
—It’s not a complaint—I mean, they aren’t a complaint—they’re two small organs, like I said, inside of you, and nobody knows what they’re for. The weirdest thing is that when something’s wrong with them, you turn a bronze color. Honestly, I didn’t mean to say I thought it was Addison’s disease; I just considered that when I saw the discoloration.
So he gave me a recipe, which I took care to put where it could do no hurt to anybody, and I paid him his fee (which he took with the air of a man in the receipt of a great income) and said Good-morning.
So he gave me a recipe, which I made sure to put somewhere it wouldn't harm anyone, and I paid him his fee (which he accepted like a man who's receiving a big paycheck) and said Good morning.
—What in the name of a thousand diablos is the reason these confounded doctors will mention their guesses about “a case,” as they call it, and all its conceivable possibilities, out loud before their patients? I don't suppose there is anything in all this nonsense about “Addison's Disease,” but I wish he hadn't spoken of that very interesting ailment, and I should feel a little easier if that discoloration would leave my forehead. I will ask the Landlady about it,—these old women often know more than the young doctors just come home with long names for everything they don't know how to cure. But the name of this complaint sets me thinking. Bronzed skin! What an odd idea! Wonder if it spreads all over one. That would be picturesque and pleasant, now, wouldn't it? To be made a living statue of,—nothing to do but strike an attitude. Arm up—so—like the one in the Garden. John of Bologna's Mercury—thus on one foot. Needy knife-grinder in the Tribune at Florence. No, not “needy,” come to think of it. Marcus Aurelius on horseback. Query. Are horses subject to the Morbus Addisonii? Advertise for a bronzed living horse—Lyceum invitations and engagements—bronze versus brass.—What 's the use in being frightened? Bet it was a bump. Pretty certain I bumped my forehead against something. Never heard of a bronzed man before. Have seen white men, black men, red men, yellow men, two or three blue men, stained with doctor's stuff; some green ones, from the country; but never a bronzed man. Poh, poh! Sure it was a bump. Ask Landlady to look at it.
—What on Earth are these annoying doctors thinking when they talk about their guesses regarding a “case,” as they call it, and all its possible outcomes, right in front of their patients? I really doubt there’s anything to this nonsense about “Addison's Disease,” but I wish he hadn’t mentioned that intriguing condition, and I’d feel a bit better if that discoloration would disappear from my forehead. I’ll ask the landlady about it—these older women often know more than the young doctors who come back with fancy names for everything they can’t cure. But the name of this problem got me thinking. Bronzed skin! What a strange notion! I wonder if it spreads all over. That would be quite artistic and nice, wouldn’t it? To be a living statue—nothing to do but pose. Arm up—like that one in the Garden. John of Bologna's Mercury—standing on one foot. A poor knife-grinder in the Tribune at Florence. No, not “poor,” actually. Marcus Aurelius on horseback. Quick question. Are horses affected by Morbus Addisonii? I should advertise for a bronzed living horse—Lyceum invites and gigs—bronze vs. brass. What’s the point in being scared? I bet it was just a bump. Pretty sure I hit my forehead on something. Never heard of a bronzed man before. I’ve seen white men, black men, red men, yellow men, even a couple of blue men who were stained with doctor’s stuff; some green ones from the countryside; but never a bronzed man. Pfft, I’m sure it was just a bump. I’ll ask the landlady to take a look at it.
—Landlady did look at it. Said it was a bump, and no mistake. Recommended a piece of brown paper dipped in vinegar. Made the house smell as if it were in quarantine for the plague from Smyrna, but discoloration soon disappeared,—so I did not become a bronzed man after all,—hope I never shall while I am alive. Should n't mind being done in bronze after I was dead. On second thoughts not so clear about it, remembering how some of them look that we have got stuck up in public; think I had rather go down to posterity in an Ethiopian Minstrel portrait, like our friend's the other day.
—The landlady did take a look at it. She said it was definitely a bruise. She suggested using a piece of brown paper soaked in vinegar. It made the house smell like it was under quarantine for the plague from Smyrna, but the discoloration faded quickly—so I didn't end up looking bronzed after all—hope I never do while I'm alive. I wouldn't mind being made of bronze after I'm dead. On second thought, I'm not so sure about that, remembering how some of those statues look that we've got displayed in public; I think I’d rather be remembered in an Ethiopian minstrel portrait, like our friend's the other day.
—You were kind enough to say, I remarked to the Master, that you read my poems and liked them. Perhaps you would be good enough to tell me what it is you like about them?
—You were nice enough to say, I mentioned to the Master, that you read my poems and enjoyed them. Could you share what it is you like about them?
The Master harpooned a breakfast-roll and held it up before me.—Will you tell me,—he said,—why you like that breakfast-roll?—I suppose he thought that would stop my mouth in two senses. But he was mistaken.
The Master speared a breakfast roll and held it up in front of me. —Will you tell me,—he said,—why you like that breakfast roll?—I guess he thought that would silence me in both ways. But he was wrong.
—To be sure I will,—said I.—First, I like its mechanical consistency; brittle externally,—that is for the teeth, which want resistance to be overcome; soft, spongy, well tempered and flavored internally, that is for the organ of taste; wholesome, nutritious,—that is for the internal surfaces and the system generally.
—Of course I will,—I said.—First, I like its mechanical consistency; it’s brittle on the outside—that's for the teeth, which need something tough to chew on; soft, spongy, well-balanced, and flavorful on the inside, that’s for the sense of taste; healthy, nutritious—that's for the internal surfaces and the body overall.
—Good,—said the Master, and laughed a hearty terrestrial laugh.
—Good,—said the Master, and laughed a warm, genuine laugh.
I hope he will carry that faculty of an honest laugh with him wherever he goes,—why shouldn't he? The “order of things,” as he calls it, from which hilarity was excluded, would be crippled and one-sided enough. I don't believe the human gamut will be cheated of a single note after men have done breathing this fatal atmospheric mixture and die into the ether of immortality!
I hope he takes that ability to have an honest laugh with him wherever he goes—why wouldn’t he? The “order of things,” as he puts it, would be pretty limited and lopsided without some laughter included. I don’t think humanity will lose out on a single note once people stop breathing this toxic mix and move on to the eternity beyond!
I did n't say all that; if I had said it, it would have brought a pellet from the popgun, I feel quite certain.
I didn't say all that; if I had, it definitely would have hit like a pellet from a popgun, I'm pretty sure.
The Master went on after he had had out his laugh.—There is one thing I am His Imperial Majesty about, and that is my likes and dislikes. What if I do like your verses,—you can't help yourself. I don't doubt somebody or other hates 'em and hates you and everything you do, or ever did, or ever can do. He is all right; there is nothing you or I like that somebody does n't hate. Was there ever anything wholesome that was not poison to somebody? If you hate honey or cheese, or the products of the dairy,—I know a family a good many of whose members can't touch milk, butter, cheese, and the like, why, say so, but don't find fault with the bees and the cows. Some are afraid of roses, and I have known those who thought a pond-lily a disagreeable neighbor. That Boy will give you the metaphysics of likes and dislikes. Look here,—you young philosopher over there,—do you like candy?
The Master continued after he had finished laughing. “There’s one thing I know for sure: my likes and dislikes are my own. So what if I enjoy your poems—you can’t change that. I’m sure there’s someone out there who hates them, hates you, and hates everything you do, have done, or will do. That’s fine; there’s nothing you or I enjoy that someone else doesn’t dislike. Has there ever been something healthy that wasn’t toxic to someone? If you don’t like honey or cheese, or dairy products—I know a family where many members can’t have milk, butter, or cheese—then just say so, but don’t blame the bees and cows. Some people are scared of roses, and I’ve met those who find a pond lily unpleasant. That Boy can tell you all about the philosophy behind likes and dislikes. Hey, you young philosopher over there—do you like candy?”
That Boy.—You bet! Give me a stick and see if I don't.
That Boy.—You bet! Hand me a stick and watch if I don’t.
And can you tell me why you like candy?
And can you explain why you like candy?
That Boy.—Because I do.
That Boy.—Because I really do.
—There, now, that is the whole matter in a nutshell. Why do your teeth like crackling crust, and your organs of taste like spongy crumb, and your digestive contrivances take kindly to bread rather than toadstools—
—There, now, that’s the whole matter in a nutshell. Why do your teeth prefer crispy crust, and your taste buds enjoy soft crumb, and your digestive system favor bread over mushrooms—
That Boy (thinking he was still being catechised).—Because they do.
That Boy (thinking he was still being questioned).—Because they do.
Whereupon the Landlady said, Sh! and the Young Girl laughed, and the Lady smiled; and Dr. Ben Franklin kicked him, moderately, under the table, and the Astronomer looked up at the ceiling to see what had happened, and the Member of the Haouse cried, Order! Order! and the Salesman said, Shut up, cash-boy! and the rest of the boarders kept on feeding; except the Master, who looked very hard but half approvingly at the small intruder, who had come about as nearly right as most professors would have done.
Whereupon the Landlady said, "Sh!" and the Young Girl laughed, and the Lady smiled; Dr. Ben Franklin gave him a light kick under the table, and the Astronomer looked up at the ceiling to see what was going on. The Member of the House shouted, "Order! Order!" The Salesman said, "Shut up, cash-boy!" while the rest of the boarders continued eating; except for the Master, who looked at the small intruder intently but somewhat approvingly, as he had gotten it about as right as most professors would have.
—You poets,—the Master said after this excitement had calmed down, —you poets have one thing about you that is odd. You talk about everything as if you knew more about it than the people whose business it is to know all about it. I suppose you do a little of what we teachers used to call “cramming” now and then?
—You poets,—the Master said after the excitement settled down,—you poets have something peculiar about you. You discuss everything as if you know more about it than the experts who actually study it. I guess you do a bit of what we teachers used to call “cramming” now and then?
—If you like your breakfast you must n't ask the cook too many questions,—I answered.
—If you enjoy your breakfast, you shouldn't ask the cook too many questions,—I answered.
—Oh, come now, don't be afraid of letting out your secrets. I have a notion I can tell a poet that gets himself up just as I can tell a make-believe old man on the stage by the line where the gray skullcap joins the smooth forehead of the young fellow of seventy. You'll confess to a rhyming dictionary anyhow, won't you?
—Oh, come on, don't be scared to share your secrets. I have a feeling I can recognize a poet just like I can spot a fake old man on stage by the line where the gray cap meets the smooth forehead of the young guy pretending to be seventy. You'll admit to using a rhyming dictionary anyway, right?
—I would as lief use that as any other dictionary, but I don't want it. When a word comes up fit to end a line with I can feel all the rhymes in the language that are fit to go with it without naming them. I have tried them all so many times, I know all the polygamous words and all the monogamous ones, and all the unmarrying ones,—the whole lot that have no mates,—as soon as I hear their names called. Sometimes I run over a string of rhymes, but generally speaking it is strange what a short list it is of those that are good for anything. That is the pitiful side of all rhymed verse. Take two such words as home and world. What can you do with chrome or loam or gnome or tome? You have dome, foam, and roam, and not much more to use in your pome, as some of our fellow-countrymen call it. As for world, you know that in all human probability somebody or something will be hurled into it or out of it; its clouds may be furled or its grass impearled; possibly something may be whirled, or curled, or have swirled, one of Leigh Hunt's words, which with lush, one of Keats's, is an important part of the stock in trade of some dealers in rhyme.
—I would just as soon use that dictionary as any other, but I don't want it. When a word comes up that fits to end a line, I can feel all the rhymes in the language that go with it without having to name them. I've tried them all so many times; I know all the polygamous words and all the monogamous ones, and all the ones that don't have partners—the whole bunch that have no matches—as soon as I hear their names called. Sometimes I go through a list of rhymes, but generally speaking, it's surprising how short the list is of those that are good for anything. That’s the sad part of all rhymed verse. Take two words like home and world. What can you do with chrome or loam or gnome or tome? You have dome, foam, and roam, and not much else to use in your poem, as some of our fellow countrymen call it. As for world, you know that in all likelihood, someone or something will be thrown into it or out of it; its clouds may be furled or its grass might be impearled; possibly something may be whirled, or curled, or have swirled, one of Leigh Hunt's words, which along with lush, one of Keats's, is an important part of the stock in trade of some rhyme enthusiasts.
—And how much do you versifiers know of all those arts and sciences you refer to as if you were as familiar with them as a cobbler is with his wax and lapstone?
—And how much do you poets really know about all those arts and sciences you talk about as if you were as familiar with them as a shoemaker is with his wax and tools?
—Enough not to make too many mistakes. The best way is to ask some expert before one risks himself very far in illustrations from a branch he does not know much about. Suppose, for instance, I wanted to use the double star to illustrate anything, say the relation of two human souls to each other, what would I—do? Why, I would ask our young friend there to let me look at one of those loving celestial pairs through his telescope, and I don't doubt he'd let me do so, and tell me their names and all I wanted to know about them.
—Enough not to make too many mistakes. The best way is to ask an expert before you take any risks with illustrations from a field you don’t know much about. For example, if I wanted to use the double star to illustrate something, like the relationship between two human souls, what would I do? I would ask our young friend over there to let me look at one of those loving celestial pairs through his telescope, and I’m sure he would let me and tell me their names and everything I wanted to know about them.
—I should be most happy to show any of the double stars or whatever else there might be to see in the heavens to any of our friends at this table,—the young man said, so cordially and kindly that it was a real invitation.
—I would be very happy to show any of the double stars or anything else in the sky to any of our friends at this table,—the young man said, so warmly and kindly that it felt like a genuine invitation.
—Show us the man in the moon,—said That Boy.—I should so like to see a double star!—said Scheherezade, with a very pretty air of smiling modesty.
—Show us the man in the moon,—said That Boy.—I would really love to see a double star!—said Scheherezade, with a charming look of shy modesty.
—Will you go, if we make up a party?—I asked the Master.
—Are you going to join us if we put together a group?—I asked the Master.
—A cold in the head lasts me from three to five days,—answered the Master.—I am not so very fond of being out in the dew like Nebuchadnezzar: that will do for you young folks.
—A cold lasts me about three to five days,—the Master replied.—I’m not too keen on being out in the dew like Nebuchadnezzar: that’s more for you young folks.
—I suppose I must be one of the young folks, not so young as our Scheherezade, nor so old as the Capitalist,—young enough at any rate to want to be of the party. So we agreed that on some fair night when the Astronomer should tell us that there was to be a fine show in the skies, we would make up a party and go to the Observatory. I asked the Scarabee whether he would not like to make one of us.
—I guess I must be one of the younger crowd, not as young as our Scheherezade, but not as old as the Capitalist—young enough, at least, to want to join in. So we decided that on a nice night when the Astronomer would let us know there was going to be a great display in the sky, we would gather a group and head to the Observatory. I asked the Scarabee if he wanted to be part of it.
—Out of the question, sir, out of the question. I am altogether too much occupied with an important scientific investigation to devote any considerable part of an evening to star-gazing.
—No way, sir, no way. I'm way too busy with an important scientific research project to spend much of my evening staring at the stars.
—Oh, indeed,—said I,—and may I venture to ask on what particular point you are engaged just at present?
—Oh, really,—I said,—can I ask what specific topic you’re focused on right now?
-Certainly, sir, you may. It is, I suppose, as difficult and important a matter to be investigated as often comes before a student of natural history. I wish to settle the point once for all whether the Pediculus Mellitae is or is not the larva of Meloe.
-Certainly, sir, you can. I suppose it’s as challenging and significant an issue to explore as often arises for a student of natural history. I want to clarify once and for all whether the Pediculus Mellitae is or isn't the larva of Meloe.
[—Now is n't this the drollest world to live in that one could imagine, short of being in a fit of delirium tremens? Here is a fellow-creature of mine and yours who is asked to see all the glories of the firmament brought close to him, and he is too busy with a little unmentionable parasite that infests the bristly surface of a bee to spare an hour or two of a single evening for the splendors of the universe! I must get a peep through that microscope of his and see the pediculus which occupies a larger space in his mental vision than the midnight march of the solar systems.—The creature, the human one, I mean, interests me.]
[—Isn't this the most absurd world to live in that you could imagine, short of being in a drunken stupor? Here’s one of my fellow human beings who is asked to admire all the wonders of the universe, but he’s too occupied with a little unnoticed parasite that clings to the rough surface of a bee to take an hour or two one evening to appreciate the beauty of the cosmos! I need to take a look through his microscope and see the tiny bug that takes up more space in his mind than the grand march of the solar systems.—The creature, the human one, I mean, fascinates me.]
—I am very curious,—I said,—about that pediculus melittae,—(just as if I knew a good deal about the little wretch and wanted to know more, whereas I had never heard him spoken of before, to my knowledge,)—could you let me have a sight of him in your microscope?
—I’m really curious,—I said,—about that pediculus melittae,—(just like I knew a lot about the little pest and wanted to learn more, even though I had never heard of it before, as far as I know)—could you show it to me under your microscope?
—You ought to have seen the way in which the poor dried-up little Scarabee turned towards me. His eyes took on a really human look, and I almost thought those antennae-like arms of his would have stretched themselves out and embraced me. I don't believe any of the boarders had ever shown any interest in—him, except the little monkey of a Boy, since he had been in the house. It is not strange; he had not seemed to me much like a human being, until all at once I touched the one point where his vitality had concentrated itself, and he stood revealed a man and a brother.
—You should have seen how the poor, dried-up little Scarabee looked at me. His eyes took on a truly human expression, and I almost thought those antenna-like arms of his were going to reach out and hug me. I doubt any of the boarders had ever shown any interest in him, except for that little monkey of a boy, since he’d been in the house. It’s not surprising; he hadn’t seemed very much like a human being to me either, until suddenly I touched the one point where his vitality had focused, and he was revealed as a man and a brother.
—Come in,—said he,—come in, right after breakfast, and you shall see the animal that has convulsed the entomological world with questions as to his nature and origin.
—Come in,—he said,—come in, right after breakfast, and you’ll see the creature that has thrown the entomology world into a frenzy with questions about its nature and origin.
—So I went into the Scarabee's parlor, lodging-room, study, laboratory, and museum,—a—single apartment applied to these various uses, you understand.
—So I walked into the Scarabee's parlor, bedroom, study, lab, and museum—a single room used for all these different purposes, you see.
—I wish I had time to have you show me all your treasures,—I said, —but I am afraid I shall hardly be able to do more than look at the bee-parasite. But what a superb butterfly you have in that case!
—I wish I had time for you to show me all your treasures,—I said, —but I’m afraid I’ll barely be able to do more than look at the bee-parasite. But what a stunning butterfly you have in that case!
—Oh, yes, yes, well enough,—came from South America with the beetle there; look at him! These Lepidoptera are for children to play with, pretty to look at, so some think. Give me the Coleoptera, and the kings of the Coleoptera are the beetles! Lepidoptera and Neuroptera for little folks; Coleopteras for men, sir!
—Oh, yes, yes, that's good enough,—came from South America with the beetle there; look at him! These moths and butterflies are for kids to play with, nice to look at, so some think. Give me the beetles, and the kings of the beetles are the true beetles! Moths and butterflies for little kids; beetles for grown men, sir!
—The particular beetle he showed me in the case with the magnificent butterfly was an odious black wretch that one would say, Ugh! at, and kick out of his path, if he did not serve him worse than that. But he looked at it as a coin-collector would look at a Pescennius Niger, if the coins of that Emperor are as scarce as they used to be when I was collecting half-penny tokens and pine-tree shillings and battered bits of Roman brass with the head of Gallienus or some such old fellow on them.
—The particular beetle he showed me in the case with the amazing butterfly was a disgusting black creature that you'd want to say, "Ugh!" at and kick out of your way, if it didn't do something worse than that. But he looked at it like a coin collector would look at a Pescennius Niger, if the coins of that Emperor are as rare as they used to be when I was collecting half-penny tokens and pine-tree shillings and worn-out bits of Roman bronze with the head of Gallienus or some other ancient figure on them.
—A beauty!—he exclaimed,—and the only specimen of the kind in this country, to the best of my belief. A unique, sir, and there is a pleasure in exclusive possession. Not another beetle like that short of South America, sir.
—A beauty!—he exclaimed,—and the only one of its kind in this country, as far as I know. It's unique, sir, and there’s a thrill in having something exclusive. You won't find another beetle like that outside of South America, sir.
—I was glad to hear that there were no more like it in this neighborhood, the present supply of cockroaches answering every purpose, so far as I am concerned, that such an animal as this would be likely to serve.
—I was happy to hear that there were no more like it in this neighborhood; the current supply of cockroaches meets every need, as far as I'm concerned, that such a creature as this would be likely to fulfill.
—Here are my bee-parasites,—said the Scarabee, showing me a box full of glass slides, each with a specimen ready mounted for the microscope. I was most struck with one little beast flattened out like a turtle, semi-transparent, six-legged, as I remember him, and every leg terminated by a single claw hooked like a lion's and as formidable for the size of the creature as that of the royal beast.
—Here are my bee parasites,—said the Scarabee, showing me a box full of glass slides, each with a specimen ready to be examined under the microscope. I was especially taken by one little creature that was flattened out like a turtle, semi-transparent, and had six legs, as I recall. Each leg ended with a single claw that was hooked like a lion's claw, and it was just as intimidating for its size as that of the mighty animal.
—Lives on a bumblebee, does he?—I said. That's the way I call it. Bumblebee or bumblybee and huckleberry. Humblebee and whortleberry for people that say Woos-ses-ter and Nor-wich.
—Lives on a bumblebee, does he?—I said. That's how I refer to it. Bumblebee or bumblybee and huckleberry. Humblebee and whortleberry for people who say Woos-ses-ter and Nor-wich.
—The Scarabee did not smile; he took no interest in trivial matters like this.
—The Scarabee didn't smile; he showed no interest in trivial matters like this.
—Lives on a bumblebee. When you come to think of it, he must lead a pleasant kind of life. Sails through the air without the trouble of flying. Free pass everywhere that the bee goes. No fear of being dislodged; look at those six grappling-hooks. Helps himself to such juices of the bee as he likes best; the bee feeds on the choicest vegetable nectars, and he feeds on the bee. Lives either in the air or in the perfumed pavilion of the fairest and sweetest flowers. Think what tents the hollyhocks and the great lilies spread for him! And wherever he travels a band of music goes with him, for this hum which wanders by us is doubtless to him a vast and inspiring strain of melody.—I thought all this, while the Scarabee supposed I was studying the minute characters of the enigmatical specimen.
—Lives on a bumblebee. When you think about it, he must have a pretty nice life. He glides through the air without the hassle of flying. He gets a free ride wherever the bee goes. No worries about being knocked off; just look at those six claws. He helps himself to whatever juices from the bee he likes the most; the bee feasts on the best flower nectars, and he feeds on the bee. He lives either in the air or in the fragrant hideaways of the most beautiful and sweetest flowers. Imagine what tents the hollyhocks and giant lilies provide for him! And wherever he goes, a band of music travels with him, because that hum that drifts by us is surely to him a grand and uplifting melody.—I thought all this while the Scarabee assumed I was examining the tiny details of the puzzling specimen.
—I know what I consider your pediculus melittae, I said at length.
—I know what I consider your bee louse, I said after a while.
Do you think it really the larva of meloe?
Do you really think it's the larva of meloe?
—Oh, I don't know much about that, but I think he is the best cared for, on the whole, of any animal that I know of; and if I wasn't a man I believe I had rather be that little sybarite than anything that feasts at the board of nature.
—Oh, I don’t know much about that, but I think he’s the best taken care of, overall, of any animal I know; and if I weren’t a man, I believe I’d rather be that little pampered one than anything that enjoys the bounty of nature.
—The question is, whether he is the larva of meloe,—the Scarabee said, as if he had not heard a word of what I had just been saying.—-If I live a few years longer it shall be settled, sir; and if my epitaph can say honestly that I settled it, I shall be willing to trust my posthumous fame to that achievement.
—The question is whether he is the larva of meloe,—the Scarabee said, as if he hadn't heard a word of what I had just said.—If I live a few more years, I’ll figure it out, sir; and if my tombstone can honestly say that I figured it out, I’ll be content to leave my afterlife reputation to that accomplishment.
I said good morning to the specialist, and went off feeling not only kindly, but respectfully towards him. He is an enthusiast, at any rate, as “earnest” a man as any philanthropic reformer who, having passed his life in worrying people out of their misdoings into good behavior, comes at last to a state in which he is never contented except when he is making somebody uncomfortable. He does certainly know one thing well, very likely better than anybody in the world.
I said good morning to the specialist and walked away feeling not just kind, but also respectful toward him. He’s definitely passionate, just as “serious” a person as any philanthropic reformer who, after spending his life trying to push people from their wrongdoings into good behavior, ultimately reaches a point where he’s never satisfied unless he’s making someone uncomfortable. He certainly knows one thing very well, probably better than anyone else in the world.
I find myself somewhat singularly placed at our table between a minute philosopher who has concentrated all his faculties on a single subject, and my friend who finds the present universe too restricted for his intelligence. I would not give much to hear what the Scarabee says about the old Master, for he does not pretend to form a judgment of anything but beetles, but I should like to hear what the Master has to say about the Scarabee. I waited after breakfast until he had gone, and then asked the Master what he could make of our dried-up friend.
I find myself in a unique position at our table, sitting between a tiny philosopher who's focused all his energy on one topic, and my friend, who thinks the current universe is too limited for his intellect. I wouldn't care much to hear what the Scarabee says about the old Master since he only claims to judge beetles, but I'd love to know what the Master thinks about the Scarabee. I waited until after breakfast, once he had left, and then asked the Master what he thought of our dried-up friend.
—Well,—he said,—I am hospitable enough in my feelings to him and all his tribe. These specialists are the coral-insects that build up a reef. By and by it will be an island, and for aught we know may grow into a continent. But I don't want to be a coral-insect myself. I had rather be a voyager that visits all the reefs and islands the creatures build, and sails over the seas where they have as yet built up nothing. I am a little afraid that science is breeding us down too fast into coral-insects. A man like Newton or Leibnitz or Haller used to paint a picture of outward or inward nature with a free hand, and stand back and look at it as a whole and feel like an archangel; but nowadays you have a Society, and they come together and make a great mosaic, each man bringing his little bit and sticking it in its place, but so taken up with his petty fragment that he never thinks of looking at the picture the little bits make when they are put together. You can't get any talk out of these specialists away from their own subjects, any more than you can get help from a policeman outside of his own beat.
—Well,—he said,—I'm open-minded enough towards him and his whole group. These specialists are like coral insects that build a reef. Eventually, it could become an island, and for all we know, it might even grow into a continent. But I don’t want to be a coral insect myself. I’d rather be a traveler who visits all the reefs and islands those creatures create and sails across the seas where they haven’t built anything yet. I'm a bit worried that science is turning us into coral insects too quickly. A person like Newton or Leibniz or Haller used to create a picture of the outside or inside world with a free spirit and step back to see it as a whole, feeling like an archangel; but nowadays, we have a Society where people gather and create a large mosaic, with each one contributing their small piece and fitting it in its spot, so focused on their little fragment that they never take the time to consider the picture that emerges when all the pieces are together. You can't get any conversation out of these specialists outside of their specific fields, just like you can't get help from a cop outside of their patrol area.
—Yes,—said I,—but why should n't we always set a man talking about the thing he knows best?
—Yes,—I said,—but why shouldn't we always get a man talking about what he knows best?
—No doubt, no doubt, if you meet him once; but what are you going to do with him if you meet him every day? I travel with a man and we want to make change very often in paying bills. But every time I ask him to change a pistareen, or give me two fo'pencehappennies for a ninepence, or help me to make out two and thrippence (mark the old Master's archaisms about the currency), what does the fellow do but put his hand in his pocket and pull out an old Roman coin; I have no change, says he, but this assarion of Diocletian. Mighty deal of good that'll do me!
—No doubt, no doubt, if you meet him once; but what are you going to do with him if you see him every day? I travel with a guy and we need to make change pretty often when paying bills. But every time I ask him to change a penny, or give me two pence for a nine pence, or help me figure out two and three pence (notice the old Master's outdated terms for money), what does he do but reach into his pocket and pull out some old Roman coin; I have no change, he says, but this old coin from Diocletian. That'll be super helpful!
—It isn't quite so handy as a few specimens of the modern currency would be, but you can pump him on numismatics.
—It’s not as convenient as having a few examples of modern currency would be, but you can quiz him on coins.
—To be sure, to be sure. I've pumped a thousand men of all they could teach me, or at least all I could learn from 'em; and if it comes to that, I never saw the man that couldn't teach me something. I can get along with everybody in his place, though I think the place of some of my friends is over there among the feeble-minded pupils, and I don't believe there's one of them, I couldn't go to school to for half an hour and be the wiser for it. But people you talk with every day have got to have feeders for their minds, as much as the stream that turns a millwheel has. It isn't one little rill that's going to keep the float-boards turning round. Take a dozen of the brightest men you can find in the brightest city, wherever that may be,—perhaps you and I think we know,—and let 'em come together once a month, and you'll find out in the course of a year or two the ones that have feeders from all the hillsides. Your common talkers, that exchange the gossip of the day, have no wheel in particular to turn, and the wash of the rain as it runs down the street is enough for them.
—For sure, for sure. I've learned everything I could from a thousand men, or at least what I could take from them; and honestly, I’ve never met a person who couldn’t teach me something. I can get along with just about anyone in their own space, though I think some of my friends belong over there with the less intelligent students, and I believe there isn't one of them I couldn't spend half an hour with and come away smarter. But the people you talk to every day need to feed their minds as much as the stream that powers a millwheel does. It’s not just a tiny trickle that keeps the float-boards turning. Take a dozen of the smartest people you can find in the smartest city out there—wherever that might be, as you and I might think we know—and if you let them meet once a month, you'll discover over a year or two who among them has sources of inspiration from all around. Your average chatterboxes, who just share the day’s gossip, don’t have any particular goal to achieve, and the rainwater running down the street is enough for them.
—Do you mean you can always see the sources from which a man fills his mind,—his feeders, as you call them?
—Are you saying that you can always see where a person gets their thoughts from — their influences, as you put it?
-I don't go quite so far as that,—the Master said.—I've seen men whose minds were always overflowing, and yet they did n't read much nor go much into the world. Sometimes you'll find a bit of a pond-hole in a pasture, and you'll plunge your walking-stick into it and think you are going to touch bottom. But you find you are mistaken. Some of these little stagnant pond-holes are a good deal deeper than you think; you may tie a stone to a bed-cord and not get soundings in some of 'em. The country boys will tell you they have no bottom, but that only means that they are mighty deep; and so a good many stagnant, stupid-seeming people are a great deal deeper than the length of your intellectual walking-stick, I can tell you. There are hidden springs that keep the little pond-holes full when the mountain brooks are all dried up. You poets ought to know that.
"I don't completely agree with that," the Master said. "I've seen people whose thoughts are always overflowing, yet they don't read much or get out into the world. Sometimes you come across a little pond in a pasture, and you might stab your walking stick into it thinking you'll hit bottom. But you realize you're wrong. Some of those stagnant ponds are much deeper than you expect; you can tie a stone to a bedcord and still not reach the bottom in some of them. The local boys will tell you they have no bottom, but that just means they're really deep. And many seemingly shallow and dull people are actually much deeper than the length of your intellectual walking stick, believe me. There are hidden springs that keep those little ponds full even when the mountain streams dry up. You poets should understand that."
—I can't help thinking you are more tolerant towards the specialists than I thought at first, by the way you seemed to look at our dried-up neighbor and his small pursuits.
—I can't help but think you're more accepting of the specialists than I initially thought, based on the way you looked at our dried-up neighbor and his minor interests.
—I don't like the word tolerant,—the Master said.—As long as the Lord can tolerate me I think I can stand my fellow-creatures. Philosophically, I love 'em all; empirically, I don't think I am very fond of all of 'em. It depends on how you look at a man or a woman. Come here, Youngster, will you? he said to That Boy.
—I don't like the word tolerant,—the Master said.—As long as the Lord can tolerate me, I think I can handle my fellow humans. Philosophically, I love them all; in reality, I'm not sure I'm very fond of all of them. It depends on how you view a man or a woman. Come here, Youngster, will you? he said to That Boy.
The Boy was trying to catch a blue-bottle to add to his collection, and was indisposed to give up the chase; but he presently saw that the Master had taken out a small coin and laid it on the table, and felt himself drawn in that direction.
The boy was trying to catch a bluebottle fly to add to his collection and didn’t want to give up the chase. But he soon noticed that the Master had taken out a small coin and placed it on the table, and he felt himself drawn in that direction.
Read that,—said the Master.
Read that, — said the Master.
U-n-i-ni United States of America 5 cents.
U-n-i-ni United States of America 5 cents.
The Master turned the coin over. Now read that.
The Master flipped the coin. Now read that.
In God is our t-r-u-s-t—trust. 1869.
In God is our trust—trust. 1869.
—Is that the same piece of money as the other one?
—Is that the same coin as the other one?
—There ain't any other one,—said the Boy, there ain't but one, but it's got two sides to it with different reading.
—There's no other one,—said the Boy, there's just one, but it has two sides to it with different meanings.
—That 's it, that 's it,—said the Master,—two sides to everybody, as there are to that piece of money. I've seen an old woman that wouldn't fetch five cents if you should put her up for sale at public auction; and yet come to read the other side of her, she had a trust in God Almighty that was like the bow anchor of a three-decker. It's faith in something and enthusiasm for something that makes a life worth looking at. I don't think your ant-eating specialist, with his sharp nose and pin-head eyes, is the best every-day companion; but any man who knows one thing well is worth listening to for once; and if you are of the large-brained variety of the race, and want to fill out your programme of the Order of Things in a systematic and exhaustive way, and get all the half-notes and flats and sharps of humanity into your scale, you'd a great deal better shut your front door and open your two side ones when you come across a fellow that has made a real business of doing anything.
—That's it, that's it,—said the Master,—everyone has two sides, just like that coin. I've seen an old woman who wouldn't sell for five cents at a public auction; yet, when you look at her other side, she had a faith in God Almighty that was as strong as the anchor of a massive ship. It's the belief in something and the passion for something that makes life worth living. I don't think your ant-eating expert, with his sharp nose and tiny eyes, is the best everyday companion; but any man who knows something really well is worth listening to at least once. And if you're one of those big thinkers who wants to explore the world thoroughly and understand all the nuances of humanity, it’s much better to close your front door and open the side ones when you meet someone who has truly dedicated themselves to a craft.
—That Boy stood all this time looking hard at the five-cent piece.
—That Boy stood the whole time staring intently at the five-cent coin.
—Take it,—said the Master, with a good-natured smile.
—Go ahead,—said the Master, with a friendly smile.
—The Boy made a snatch at it and was off for the purpose of investing it.
—The boy grabbed it and ran off to invest it.
—A child naturally snaps at a thing as a dog does at his meat,—said the Master.—If you think of it, we've all been quadrupeds. A child that can only crawl has all the instincts of a four-footed beast. It carries things in its mouth just as cats and dogs do. I've seen the little brutes do it over and over again. I suppose a good many children would stay quadrupeds all their lives, if they didn't learn the trick of walking on their hind legs from seeing all the grown people walking in that way.
—A child instinctively grabs at things like a dog does with its food,—said the Master.—If you think about it, we’ve all been like animals. A child that can only crawl has all the instincts of a four-legged creature. It picks things up with its mouth just like cats and dogs do. I’ve watched those little critters do it time and again. I guess many children would continue being like animals for their whole lives if they didn't learn to walk on their hind legs by watching all the adults do it.
—Do you accept Mr. Darwin's notions about the origin of the race?—said I.
—Do you agree with Mr. Darwin's ideas about the origin of the human race?—I asked.
The Master looked at me with that twinkle in his eye which means that he is going to parry a question.
The Master looked at me with that glimmer in his eye that means he's about to dodge a question.
—Better stick to Blair's Chronology; that settles it. Adam and Eve, created Friday, October 28th, B. C. 4004. You've been in a ship for a good while, and here comes Mr. Darwin on deck with an armful of sticks and says, “Let's build a raft, and trust ourselves to that.”
—Better stick to Blair's Chronology; that settles it. Adam and Eve, created Friday, October 28th, B. C. 4004. You've been on a ship for a while, and here comes Mr. Darwin on deck with a bunch of sticks and says, “Let's build a raft and trust ourselves to it.”
If your ship springs a leak, what would you do?
If your ship develops a leak, what would you do?
He looked me straight in the eyes for about half a minute.—If I heard the pumps going, I'd look and see whether they were gaining on the leak or not. If they were gaining I'd stay where I was.—Go and find out what's the matter with that young woman.
He looked me straight in the eyes for about thirty seconds. —If I heard the pumps running, I'd check to see if they were making progress on the leak or not. If they were making progress, I'd stay where I was.—Go and find out what's wrong with that young woman.
I had noticed that the Young Girl—the storywriter, our Scheherezade, as I called her—looked as if she had been crying or lying awake half the night. I found on asking her,—for she is an honest little body and is disposed to be confidential with me for some reason or other,—that she had been doing both.
I noticed that the Young Girl—the storyteller, our Scheherezade, as I called her—looked like she had been crying or was awake half the night. When I asked her—because she's an honest little thing and feels comfortable sharing things with me for some reason or another—she admitted that she had been doing both.
—And what was the matter now, I questioned her in a semi-paternal kind of way, as soon as I got a chance for a few quiet words with her.
—And what’s bothering you now, I asked her in a sort of fatherly tone, as soon as I had a moment for a few private words with her.
She was engaged to write a serial story, it seems, and had only got as far as the second number, and some critic had been jumping upon it, she said, and grinding his heel into it, till she couldn't bear to look at it. He said she did not write half so well as half a dozen other young women. She did n't write half so well as she used to write herself. She hadn't any characters and she had n't any incidents. Then he went to work to show how her story was coming out, trying to anticipate everything she could make of it, so that her readers should have nothing to look forward to, and he should have credit for his sagacity in guessing, which was nothing so very wonderful, she seemed to think. Things she had merely hinted and left the reader to infer, he told right out in the bluntest and coarsest way. It had taken all the life out of her, she said. It was just as if at a dinner-party one of the guests should take a spoonful of soup and get up and say to the company, “Poor stuff, poor stuff; you won't get anything better; let's go somewhere else where things are fit to eat.”
She was working on a serial story, it seems, and had only made it to the second installment. A critic had been tearing it apart, she said, grinding his heel into it until she couldn’t stand to look at it. He claimed she didn’t write nearly as well as several other young women. She didn’t write nearly as well as she used to either. She had no characters and no plot twists. Then he tried to show how her story would unfold, trying to predict everything she could do with it, so that her readers would have nothing to look forward to, and he could claim credit for his cleverness in guessing, which she thought wasn’t that impressive. Things she had merely suggested and left for the reader to figure out, he bluntly stated in the most direct and crude way. It drained all the life out of her, she said. It was just like at a dinner party when one guest takes a spoonful of soup and stands up to tell everyone, “This is terrible; you won’t find anything better here; let’s go somewhere else where the food is decent.”
What do you read such things for, my dear? said I.
What do you read stuff like that for, my dear? I asked.
The film glistened in her eyes at the strange sound of those two soft words; she had not heard such very often, I am afraid.
The film shimmered in her eyes at the unusual sound of those two soft words; she hadn’t heard that kind of thing very often, I’m afraid.
—I know I am a foolish creature to read them, she answered,—but I can't help it; somebody always sends me everything that will make me wretched to read, and so I sit down and read it, and ache all over for my pains, and lie awake all night.
—I know I’m being silly for reading them, she replied,—but I can’t help it; someone always sends me everything that ends up making me miserable to read, so I sit down and read it, and I feel terrible all over because of it, and I lie awake all night.
—She smiled faintly as she said this, for she saw the sub-ridiculous side of it, but the film glittered still in her eyes. There are a good many real miseries in life that we cannot help smiling at, but they are the smiles that make wrinkles and not dimples. “Somebody always sends her everything that will make her wretched.” Who can those creatures be who cut out the offensive paragraph and send it anonymously to us, who mail the newspaper which has the article we had much better not have seen, who take care that we shall know everything which can, by any possibility, help to make us discontented with ourselves and a little less light-hearted than we were before we had been fools enough to open their incendiary packages? I don't like to say it to myself, but I cannot help suspecting, in this instance, the doubtful-looking personage who sits on my left, beyond the Scarabee. I have some reason to think that he has made advances to the Young Girl which were not favorably received, to state the case in moderate terms, and it may be that he is taking his revenge in cutting up the poor girl's story. I know this very well, that some personal pique or favoritism is at the bottom of half the praise and dispraise which pretend to be so very ingenuous and discriminating. (Of course I have been thinking all this time and telling you what I thought.)
—She smiled faintly as she said this, because she saw the ridiculous side of it, but the memory still sparkled in her eyes. There are many real miseries in life that we can’t help but smile at, but they’re the smiles that create wrinkles, not dimples. “Somebody always sends her everything that will make her miserable.” Who are those people who cut out the hurtful paragraph and send it to us anonymously, who mail the newspaper with the article we’d be better off not seeing, who make sure we know everything that could make us unhappy with ourselves and a little less cheerful than we were before we were foolish enough to open their toxic packages? I don’t like admitting this to myself, but I can’t help suspecting, in this case, the shady-looking person sitting to my left, beyond the Scarabee. I have some reason to think that he made advances to the Young Girl that were not received well, to put it mildly, and it’s possible he’s taking his revenge by tearing up the poor girl's story. I know this very well: some personal grudge or favoritism lies behind half the praise and criticism that claim to be so genuine and discerning. (Of course, I’ve been thinking all this while and telling you what I thought.)
—What you want is encouragement, my dear, said I,—I know that as well, as you. I don't think the fellows that write such criticisms as you tell me of want to correct your faults. I don't mean to say that you can learn nothing from them, because they are not all fools by any means, and they will often pick out your weak points with a malignant sagacity, as a pettifogging lawyer will frequently find a real flaw in trying to get at everything he can quibble about. But is there nobody who will praise you generously when you do well,—nobody that will lend you a hand now while you want it,—or must they all wait until you have made yourself a name among strangers, and then all at once find out that you have something in you? Oh,—said the girl, and the bright film gathered too fast for her young eyes to hold much longer,—I ought not to be ungrateful! I have found the kindest friend in the world. Have you ever heard the Lady—the one that I sit next to at the table—say anything about me?
—What you want is support, my dear, I said, —I know that just as well as you do. I don’t think the guys who write those criticisms you mentioned want to help you fix your flaws. I’m not saying you can’t learn anything from them because they’re not all idiots, and they often point out your weaknesses with a sharp insight, like a sneaky lawyer who can find a real mistake while trying to nitpick everything else. But isn’t there anyone who will genuinely praise you when you do well,—anyone who will lend you a hand now that you need it,—or do they all have to wait until you’ve made a name for yourself among strangers, and then suddenly realize you have something special? Oh,—said the girl, and tears filled her young eyes too quickly to hold back much longer,—I shouldn’t be ungrateful! I have found the kindest friend in the world. Have you ever heard the Lady—the one I sit next to at the table—say anything about me?
I have not really made her acquaintance, I said. She seems to me a little distant in her manners and I have respected her pretty evident liking for keeping mostly to herself.
I haven't really met her, I said. She comes across as a bit distant in how she behaves, and I've respected her clear preference for mostly keeping to herself.
—Oh, but when you once do know her! I don't believe I could write stories all the time as I do, if she didn't ask me up to her chamber, and let me read them to her. Do you know, I can make her laugh and cry, reading my poor stories? And sometimes, when I feel as if I had written out all there is in me, and want to lie down and go to sleep and never wake up except in a world where there are no weekly papers,—when everything goes wrong, like a car off the track,—she takes hold and sets me on the rails again all right.
—Oh, but once you really know her! I don’t think I could keep writing stories like I do if she didn’t invite me up to her room and let me read them to her. You know, I can make her laugh and cry with my simple stories? And sometimes, when I feel like I’ve poured out everything I have inside and just want to lie down and sleep forever, except in a world without weekly papers—when everything feels like it’s going wrong, like a train derailing—she steps in and puts me back on track.
—How does she go to work to help you?
—How does she go to work to help you?
—Why, she listens to my stories, to begin with, as if she really liked to hear them. And then you know I am dreadfully troubled now and then with some of my characters, and can't think how to get rid of them. And she'll say, perhaps, Don't shoot your villain this time, you've shot three or four already in the last six weeks; let his mare stumble and throw him and break his neck. Or she'll give me a hint about some new way for my lover to make a declaration. She must have had a good many offers, it's my belief, for she has told me a dozen different ways for me to use in my stories. And whenever I read a story to her, she always laughs and cries in the right places; and that's such a comfort, for there are some people that think everything pitiable is so funny, and will burst out laughing when poor Rip Van Winkle—you've seen Mr. Jefferson, haven't you?—is breaking your heart for you if you have one. Sometimes she takes a poem I have written and reads it to me so beautifully, that I fall in love with it, and sometimes she sets my verses to music and sings them to me.
—Well, she listens to my stories, first of all, like she actually enjoys them. And then you know I get really stressed out now and then with some of my characters and can't figure out how to get rid of them. And she might say, maybe, "Don't kill off your villain this time; you've done that three or four times in the last six weeks. Let his horse trip and throw him, break his neck." Or she'll give me a suggestion for a new way for my hero to confess his love. She must have had quite a few proposals, I believe, because she’s shared a dozen different ideas for me to use in my stories. And whenever I read a story to her, she always laughs and cries at the right moments; that's such a relief, because some people think everything sad is hilarious and will burst out laughing when poor Rip Van Winkle—you’ve seen Mr. Jefferson, right?—is breaking your heart if you have one. Sometimes she takes a poem I've written and reads it so beautifully that I fall in love with it, and sometimes she puts my verses to music and sings them to me.
—You have a laugh together sometimes, do you?
—Do you guys ever laugh together?
—Indeed we do. I write for what they call the “Comic Department” of the paper now and then. If I did not get so tired of story-telling, I suppose I should be gayer than I am; but as it is, we two get a little fun out of my comic pieces. I begin them half-crying sometimes, but after they are done they amuse me. I don't suppose my comic pieces are very laughable; at any rate the man who makes a business of writing me down says the last one I wrote is very melancholy reading, and that if it was only a little better perhaps some bereaved person might pick out a line or two that would do to put on a gravestone.
—Yeah, we do. I write for what they call the "Comic Department" of the paper every now and then. If I didn’t get so tired of telling stories, I guess I’d be happier than I am; but as it stands, we both get a little entertainment from my comic pieces. Sometimes I start them feeling half-sad, but after they’re done, they end up amusing me. I don’t think my comic pieces are very funny; anyway, the guy who writes critiques about me says the last one I wrote is pretty depressing and that if it were just a bit better, maybe someone grieving could find a line or two that would be good for a gravestone.
—Well, that is hard, I must confess. Do let me see those lines which excite such sad emotions.
—Well, that’s tough, I have to admit. Please show me those lines that stir such sad feelings.
—Will you read them very good-naturedly? If you will, I will get the paper that has “Aunt Tabitha.” That is the one the fault-finder said produced such deep depression of feeling. It was written for the “Comic Department.” Perhaps it will make you cry, but it was n't meant to.
—Will you read them in a really good mood? If you will, I’ll grab the paper that has “Aunt Tabitha.” That’s the one the critic said created such deep feelings of sadness. It was written for the “Comic Department.” Maybe it will make you cry, but it wasn’t meant to.
—I will finish my report this time with our Scheherezade's poem, hoping that—any critic who deals with it will treat it with the courtesy due to all a young lady's literary efforts.
—I will finish my report this time with our Scheherezade's poem, hoping that any critic who handles it will treat it with the respect due to all a young lady's literary efforts.
AUNT TABITHA. Whatever I do, and whatever I say, Aunt Tabitha tells me that isn't the way; When she was a girl (forty summers ago) Aunt Tabitha tells me they never did so. Dear aunt! If I only would take her advice! But I like my own way, and I find it so nice! And besides, I forget half the things I am told; But they all will come back to me—when I am old. If a youth passes by, it may happen, no doubt, He may chance to look in as I chance to look out; She would never endure an impertinent stare, It is horrid, she says, and I mustn't sit there. A walk in the moonlight has pleasures, I own, But it is n't quite safe to be walking alone; So I take a lad's arm,—just for safety, you know, But Aunt Tabitha tells me they didn't do so. How wicked we are, and how good they were then! They kept at arm's length those detestable men; What an era of virtue she lived in!—But stay Were the men all such rogues in Aunt Tabitha's day? If the men were so wicked, I'll ask my papa How he dared to propose to my darling mamma; Was he like the rest of them? Goodness! Who knows And what shall I say if a wretch should propose? I am thinking if aunt knew so little of sin, What a wonder Aunt Tabitha's aunt must have been! And her grand-aunt—it scares me—how shockingly sad. That we girls of to-day are so frightfully bad! A martyr will save us, and nothing else can; Let me perish—to rescue some wretched young man! Though when to the altar a victim I go, Aunt Tabitha'll tell me she never did so!
AUNT TABITHA. No matter what I do or say, Aunt Tabitha says that's not the way; When she was young (forty summers ago) Aunt Tabitha claims they never did so. Dear aunt! If only I would take her advice! But I prefer my own way, and I find it nice! Plus, I forget half the things I hear; But they’ll all come back to me when I'm older, I fear. If a guy walks by, it might happen, no doubt, He might glance in as I glance out; She wouldn't stand for an impolite stare, It's awful, she says, and I can't sit there. A walk in the moonlight has its charms, I admit, But it’s not really safe to go out without wit; So I take a guy’s arm—just for safety, you know, But Aunt Tabitha insists they didn’t do so. How bad we are, and how good they were back then! They kept those awful men at arm's length, amen; What a time of virtue she lived in!—But wait, Were all the men such rogues in Aunt Tabitha's fate? If the men were so wicked, I'll ask my dad How he dared to propose to my dear mom—how bad; Was he like the rest? Goodness! Who knows? What should I say if a jerk comes and proposes? I think if aunt knew so little about sin, What a wonder Aunt Tabitha's aunt must have been! And her grand-aunt—oh, it scares me—how sad That we girls today are considered so bad! A martyr will save us, and nothing else can; Let me suffer—to save some poor young man! Though when I go to the altar as a sacrifice, Aunt Tabitha will tell me she never did that, nice!
IV
The old Master has developed one quality of late for which I am afraid I hardly gave him credit. He has turned out to be an excellent listener.
The old Master has recently developed a quality that I must admit I underestimated. He's become an excellent listener.
—I love to talk,—he said,—as a goose loves to swim. Sometimes I think it is because I am a goose. For I never talked much at any one time in my life without saying something or other I was sorry for.
—I love to talk,—he said,—like a goose loves to swim. Sometimes I think it’s because I’m a goose. Because I’ve never talked a lot at any point in my life without saying something I ended up regretting.
—You too!—said I—Now that is very odd, for it is an experience I have habitually. I thought you were rather too much of a philosopher to trouble yourself about such small matters as to whether you had said just what you meant to or not; especially as you know that the person you talk to does not remember a word of what you said the next morning, but is thinking, it is much more likely, of what she said, or how her new dress looked, or some other body's new dress which made—hers look as if it had been patched together from the leaves of last November. That's what she's probably thinking about.
—You too!—I said—That's really strange because it's something I usually go through. I thought you were a bit too philosophical to worry about small stuff like whether you said exactly what you meant; especially since you know that the person you're talking to won't remember a word you said the next morning. More likely, she's thinking about what she said, how her new dress looks, or someone else's new dress that makes hers look like it was thrown together from last November’s leaves. That's probably what’s on her mind.
—She!—said the Master, with a look which it would take at least half a page to explain to the entire satisfaction of thoughtful readers of both sexes.
—She!—said the Master, with a look that would take at least half a page to fully explain to the satisfaction of thoughtful readers of all genders.
—I paid the respect due to that most significant monosyllable, which, as the old Rabbi spoke it, with its targum of tone and expression, was not to be answered flippantly, but soberly, advisedly, and after a pause long enough for it to unfold its meaning in the listener's mind. For there are short single words (all the world remembers Rachel's Helas!) which are like those Japanese toys that look like nothing of any significance as you throw them on the water, but which after a little time open out into various strange and unexpected figures, and then you find that each little shred had a complicated story to tell of itself.
—I gave the respect that word deserves, that very important single syllable, which, as the old Rabbi pronounced it, with its nuances of tone and expression, should not be responded to casually, but thoughtfully, deliberately, and after a pause long enough for it to unfold its meaning in the listener's mind. Because there are short single words (everyone remembers Rachel's Helas!) that are like those Japanese toys that seem meaningless when you toss them onto the water, but after a moment, they expand into various strange and unexpected shapes, revealing that each small piece has a complex story of its own.
-Yes,—said I, at the close of this silent interval, during which the monosyllable had been opening out its meanings,—She. When I think of talking, it is of course with a woman. For talking at its best being an inspiration, it wants a corresponding divine quality of receptiveness; and where will you find this but in woman?
-Yes,—I said at the end of this quiet pause, while the single word was revealing its meanings,—She. When I think about conversation, it’s obviously with a woman. Since great conversation is an inspiration, it needs a matching quality of openness; and where else will you find this but in a woman?
The Master laughed a pleasant little laugh,—not a harsh, sarcastic one, but playful, and tempered by so kind a look that it seemed as if every wrinkled line about his old eyes repeated, “God bless you,” as the tracings on the walls of the Alhambra repeat a sentence of the Koran.
The Master let out a cheerful laugh—not a harsh or sarcastic one, but light-hearted, and softened by such a kind expression that it felt like every wrinkle around his old eyes echoed, “God bless you,” just as the designs on the walls of the Alhambra echo a verse from the Koran.
I said nothing, but looked the question, What are you laughing at?
I didn't say anything, but my expression asked, What are you laughing at?
—Why, I laughed because I couldn't help saying to myself that a woman whose mind was taken up with thinking how she looked, and how her pretty neighbor looked, wouldn't have a great deal of thought to spare for all your fine discourse.
—Why, I laughed because I couldn't help thinking that a woman who was focused on how she looked and how her attractive neighbor looked wouldn't have much mental space left for all your impressive talk.
—Come, now,—said I,—a man who contradicts himself in the course of two minutes must have a screw loose in his mental machinery. I never feel afraid that such a thing can happen to me, though it happens often enough when I turn a thought over suddenly, as you did that five-cent piece the other day, that it reads differently on its two sides. What I meant to say is something like this. A woman, notwithstanding she is the best of listeners, knows her business, and it is a woman's business to please. I don't say that it is not her business to vote, but I do say that a woman who does not please is a false note in the harmonies of nature. She may not have youth, or beauty, or even manner; but she must have something in her voice or expression, or both, which it makes you feel better disposed towards your race to look at or listen to. She knows that as well as we do; and her first question after you have been talking your soul into her consciousness is, Did I please? A woman never forgets her sex. She would rather talk with a man than an angel, any day.
—Come on,—I said,—a man who contradicts himself within two minutes must have something off in his head. I never worry that will happen to me, even though it often does when I suddenly flip a thought over, like you did with that five-cent piece the other day, and it shows a different side. What I meant to say is something like this: a woman, even though she’s the best listener, understands her role, and it’s a woman’s role to please. I’m not saying it isn’t her job to vote, but I do believe that a woman who doesn’t please is a discord in the symphony of nature. She might lack youth, beauty, or even charm; but she must have something in her voice or expression, or both, that makes you feel more positive about your kind when you see or hear her. She knows that just as well as we do; and her first question after you’ve poured your heart out to her is, Did I please? A woman never forgets she’s a woman. She’d prefer to talk with a man over an angel any day.
—This frightful speech of mine reached the ear of our Scheherezade, who said that it was perfectly shocking and that I deserved to be shown up as the outlaw in one of her bandit stories.
—This terrifying speech of mine caught the attention of our Scheherezade, who remarked that it was completely shocking and that I deserved to be exposed as the outlaw in one of her bandit tales.
Hush, my dear,—said the Lady,—you will have to bring John Milton into your story with our friend there, if you punish everybody who says naughty things like that. Send the little boy up to my chamber for Paradise Lost, if you please. He will find it lying on my table. The little old volume,—he can't mistake it.
Hush, my dear, — said the Lady, — you’ll have to include John Milton in your story with our friend over there if you’re going to punish everyone who says naughty things like that. Send the little boy up to my room for Paradise Lost, please. He’ll find it on my table. The little old book — he can’t miss it.
So the girl called That Boy round and gave him the message; I don't know why she should give it, but she did, and the Lady helped her out with a word or two.
So the girl called That Boy over and told him the message; I don't know why she decided to do that, but she did, and the Lady assisted her with a word or two.
The little volume—its cover protected with soft white leather from a long kid glove, evidently suggesting the brilliant assemblies of the days when friends and fortune smiled-came presently and the Lady opened it.—You may read that, if you like, she said,—it may show you that our friend is to be pilloried in good company.
The small book—its cover wrapped in a soft white leather from an old kid glove, clearly hinting at the glamorous gatherings of the days when friends and luck were on our side—arrived soon after, and the Lady opened it. "You can read that if you want," she said, "it might show you that our friend is going to be ridiculed alongside good company."
The Young Girl ran her eye along the passage the Lady pointed out, blushed, laughed, and slapped the book down as though she would have liked to box the ears of Mr. John Milton, if he had been a contemporary and fellow-contributor to the “Weekly Bucket.”—I won't touch the thing,—she said.—He was a horrid man to talk so: and he had as many wives as Blue-Beard.
The Young Girl scanned the passage the Lady indicated, blushed, laughed, and slapped the book shut as if she wanted to give Mr. John Milton a piece of her mind, had he been a contemporary and a fellow contributor to the “Weekly Bucket.” —I won’t touch that thing, —she said. —He was a terrible person to say such things: and he had as many wives as Blue-Beard.
—Fair play,—said the Master.—Bring me the book, my little fractional superfluity,—I mean you, my nursling,—my boy, if that suits your small Highness better.
—Fair play,—said the Master.—Bring me the book, my little extra something,—I mean you, my dear one,—my boy, if that works better for you, Your Highness.
The Boy brought the book.
The kid brought the book.
The old Master, not unfamiliar with the great epic opened pretty nearly to the place, and very soon found the passage: He read, aloud with grand scholastic intonation and in a deep voice that silenced the table as if a prophet had just uttered Thus saith the Lord:—
The old Master, not unfamiliar with the great epic, opened it almost exactly to the right place and quickly found the passage. He read aloud with a grand scholarly tone and a deep voice that quieted the table as if a prophet had just proclaimed, "Thus saith the Lord:"—
“So spake our sire, and by his countenance seemed Entering on studious thoughts abstruse; which Eve Perceiving—”
“So spoke our father, and by his expression seemed to be delving into deep, thoughtful ideas; which Eve noticed—”
went to water her geraniums, to make a short story of it, and left the two “conversationists,” to wit, the angel Raphael and the gentleman,—there was but one gentleman in society then, you know,—to talk it out.
went to water her geraniums, to keep it brief, and left the two "conversationists," namely the angel Raphael and the gentleman,—there was only one gentleman in society back then, you know,—to hash it out.
“Yet went she not, as not with such discourse Delighted, or not capable her ear Of what was high; such pleasure she reserved, Adam relating, she sole auditress; Her husband the relater she preferred Before the angel, and of him to ask Chose rather; he she knew would intermix Grateful digressions, and solve high dispute With conjugal caresses: from his lips Not words alone pleased her.”
“Yet she did not go, as she was not thrilled by such talk, or unable to appreciate what was lofty; she saved her pleasure for Adam’s words, being the only one who listened to him; she preferred her husband as the storyteller over the angel, and chose to ask him instead; she knew he would weave in grateful asides and resolve deep debates with loving affection: it was not just his words that pleased her.”
Everybody laughed, except the Capitalist, who was a little hard of hearing, and the Scarabee, whose life was too earnest for demonstrations of that kind. He had his eyes fixed on the volume, however, with eager interest.
Everybody laughed, except for the Capitalist, who was a bit hard of hearing, and the Scarab, whose life was too serious for that kind of display. However, he was intently focused on the book with keen interest.
—The p'int 's carried,—said the Member of the Haouse.
—The point’s carried,—said the Member of the House.
Will you let me look at that book a single minute?—said the Scarabee. I passed it to him, wondering what in the world he wanted of Paradise Lost.
"Can I take a look at that book for just a minute?" said the Scarabee. I handed it to him, curious about what he wanted with Paradise Lost.
Dermestes lardarius,—he said, pointing to a place where the edge of one side of the outer cover had been slightly tasted by some insect.—Very fond of leather while they 're in the larva state.
Dermestes lardarius,—he said, pointing to a spot where the edge of one side of the outer cover had been slightly nibbled by some insect.—They really love leather when they're in the larval stage.
—Damage the goods as bad as mice,—said the Salesman.
—Damage the goods as much as mice do,—said the Salesman.
—Eat half the binding off Folio 67,—said the Register of Deeds. Something did, anyhow, and it was n't mice. Found the shelf covered with little hairy cases belonging to something or other that had no business there.
—Eat half the binding off Folio 67,—said the Register of Deeds. Something did, anyway, and it wasn’t mice. Found the shelf covered with little furry cases belonging to something that had no business being there.
Skins of the Dermestes lardaraus,—said the Scarabee,—you can always tell them by those brown hairy coats. That 's the name to give them.
Skins of the Dermestes lardarius,—said the Scarabee,—you can always recognize them by those brown hairy coats. That’s what you should call them.
—What good does it do to give 'em a name after they 've eat the binding off my folios?—asked the Register of Deeds.
—What’s the point of naming them after they’ve chewed up the binding on my books?—asked the Register of Deeds.
The Scarabee had too much respect for science to answer such a question as that; and the book, having served its purposes, was passed back to the Lady.
The Scarabee had too much respect for science to answer a question like that; and the book, having fulfilled its purposes, was handed back to the Lady.
I return to the previous question,—said I,—if our friend the Member of the House of Representatives will allow me to borrow the phrase. Womanly women are very kindly critics, except to themselves and now and then to their own sex. The less there is of sex about a woman, the more she is to be dreaded. But take a real woman at her best moment,—well dressed enough to be pleased with herself, not so resplendent as to be a show and a sensation, with those varied outside influences which set vibrating the harmonic notes of her nature stirring in the air about her, and what has social life to compare with one of those vital interchanges of thought and feeling with her that make an hour memorable? What can equal her tact, her delicacy, her subtlety of apprehension, her quickness to feel the changes of temperature as the warm and cool currents of talk blow by turns? At one moment she is microscopically intellectual, critical, scrupulous in judgment as an analyst's balance, and the next as sympathetic as the open rose that sweetens the wind from whatever quarter it finds its way to her bosom. It is in the hospitable soul of a woman that a man forgets he is a stranger, and so becomes natural and truthful, at the same time that he is mesmerized by all those divine differences which make her a mystery and a bewilderment to—
I’ll go back to the earlier question, if our friend from the House of Representatives doesn’t mind me borrowing that phrase. Women are usually kind critics, except when it comes to themselves and sometimes to other women. The less feminine a woman is, the more intimidating she can be. But take a real woman at her best moment—well-dressed enough to feel good about herself, not so extravagant that she becomes a spectacle, with those various external influences that bring out the harmonious aspects of her nature vibrating in the air around her—what can social life offer that compares to one of those meaningful exchanges of thoughts and feelings with her that make an hour unforgettable? What can match her insight, her finesse, her knack for understanding, her ability to sense the shifts in mood as the warm and cool currents of conversation flow past? At one moment she is deeply intellectual, analytical, and precise in judgment like a fine balance, and the next she’s as warm and welcoming as an open rose that brings sweetness to the breeze from whatever direction it blows toward her. It is in the welcoming spirit of a woman that a man forgets he’s a stranger, allowing him to be genuine and authentic while simultaneously being captivated by all those divine differences that make her a mystery and a puzzle to...
If you fire your popgun at me, you little chimpanzee, I will stick a pin right through the middle of you and put you into one of this gentleman's beetle-cases!
If you shoot your popgun at me, you little monkey, I will jab a pin right through the center of you and put you in one of this guy's beetle cases!
I caught the imp that time, but what started him was more than I could guess. It is rather hard that this spoiled child should spoil such a sentence as that was going to be; but the wind shifted all at once, and the talk had to come round on another tack, or at least fall off a point or two from its course.
I caught the imp that time, but what triggered him was beyond my understanding. It's pretty unfortunate that this brat should ruin such a sentence as the one that was about to be said; but then the wind suddenly changed, and the conversation had to switch gears, or at least veer off slightly from its original path.
—I'll tell you who I think are the best talkers in all probability, —said I to the Master, who, as I mentioned, was developing interesting talent as a listener,—poets who never write verses. And there are a good many more of these than it would seem at first sight. I think you may say every young lover is a poet, to begin with. I don't mean either that all young lovers are good talkers,—they have an eloquence all their own when they are with the beloved object, no doubt, emphasized after the fashion the solemn bard of Paradise refers to with such delicious humor in the passage we just heard,—but a little talk goes a good way in most of these cooing matches, and it wouldn't do to report them too literally. What I mean is, that a man with the gift of musical and impassioned phrase (and love often deeds that to a young person for a while), who “wreaks” it, to borrow Byron's word, on conversation as the natural outlet of his sensibilities and spiritual activities, is likely to talk better than the poet, who plays on the instrument of verse. A great pianist or violinist is rarely a great singer. To write a poem is to expend the vital force which would have made one brilliant for an hour or two, and to expend it on an instrument with more pipes, reeds, keys, stops, and pedals than the Great Organ that shakes New England every time it is played in full blast.
—I’ll tell you who I think are probably the best talkers, —I said to the Master, who, as I mentioned, was showing a remarkable talent for listening,—poets who never write verses. There are actually a lot more of these than you might think at first glance. You could say that every young lover is a poet, to start with. I don’t mean that all young lovers are great conversationalists— they definitely have a special eloquence when they’re with the person they adore, as the serious bard of Paradise humorously refers to in the passage we just heard—but a little communication goes a long way in most of these sweet exchanges, and it wouldn’t be right to report them too literally. What I mean is that a person with a gift for musical and passionate expression (and love often does that to a young person for a time) who “wreaks” it, to borrow Byron's term, in conversation as the natural outlet for his feelings and spiritual impulses, is likely to talk better than the poet, who plays on the instrument of verse. A master pianist or violinist is seldom a great singer. Writing a poem uses up the vital energy that could have made one shine brightly for an hour or two and expends it on a medium with more pipes, reeds, keys, stops, and pedals than the Great Organ that shakes New England every time it’s played at full volume.
Do you mean that it is hard work to write a poem?—said the old Master.—I had an idea that a poem wrote itself, as it were, very often; that it came by influx, without voluntary effort; indeed, you have spoken of it as an inspiration rather than a result of volition.
Do you mean that writing a poem is hard work?—said the old Master.—I thought a poem often just wrote itself, as if it came naturally, without any conscious effort; in fact, you've mentioned it as inspiration rather than something you decide to do.
—Did you ever see a great ballet-dancer?—I asked him.
—Have you ever seen a great ballet dancer?—I asked him.
—I have seen Taglioni,—he answered.—She used to take her steps rather prettily. I have seen the woman that danced the capstone on to Bunker Hill Monument, as Orpheus moved the rocks by music, the Elssler woman,—Fanny Elssler. She would dance you a rigadoon or cut a pigeon's wing for you very respectably.
—I have seen Taglioni,—he answered.—She used to dance quite nicely. I have seen the woman who performed the capstone on Bunker Hill Monument, like Orpheus moving the rocks with music, the Elssler woman,—Fanny Elssler. She could dance a rigadoon or gracefully cut a pigeon's wing for you.
(Confound this old college book-worm,—-he has seen everything!)
(Confound this old college nerd,—-he has seen everything!)
Well, did these two ladies dance as if it was hard work to them?
Well, did these two ladies dance like it was hard work for them?
—Why no, I should say they danced as if they liked it and couldn't help dancing; they looked as if they felt so “corky” it was hard to keep them down.
—Why no, I should say they danced like they enjoyed it and couldn't stop; they looked like they felt so full of energy it was hard to hold them back.
—And yet they had been through such work to get their limbs strong and flexible and obedient, that a cart-horse lives an easy life compared to theirs while they were in training.
—And yet they had put in so much effort to make their bodies strong, flexible, and responsive, that a cart horse leads an easy life compared to what they endured during their training.
—The Master cut in just here—I had sprung the trap of a reminiscence.
—The Master interrupted right here—I had tapped into a memory.
—When I was a boy,—he said,—some of the mothers in our small town, who meant that their children should know what was what as well as other people's children, laid their heads together and got a dancing-master to come out from the city and give instruction at a few dollars a quarter to the young folks of condition in the village. Some of their husbands were ministers and some were deacons, but the mothers knew what they were about, and they did n't see any reason why ministers' and deacons' wives' children shouldn't have as easy manners as the sons and daughters of Belial. So, as I tell you, they got a dancing-master to come out to our place,—a man of good repute, a most respectable man,—madam (to the Landlady), you must remember the worthy old citizen, in his advanced age, going about the streets, a most gentlemanly bundle of infirmities,—only he always cocked his hat a little too much on one side, as they do here and there along the Connecticut River, and sometimes on our city sidewalks, when they've got a new beaver; they got him, I say, to give us boys and girls lessons in dancing and deportment. He was as gray and as lively as a squirrel, as I remember him, and used to spring up in the air and “cross his feet,” as we called it, three times before he came down. Well, at the end of each term there was what they called an “exhibition ball,” in which the scholars danced cotillons and country-dances; also something called a “gavotte,” and I think one or more walked a minuet. But all this is not what—I wanted to say. At this exhibition ball he used to bring out a number of hoops wreathed with roses, of the perennial kind, by the aid of which a number of amazingly complicated and startling evolutions were exhibited; and also his two daughters, who figured largely in these evolutions, and whose wonderful performances to us, who had not seen Miss Taglioni or Miss Elssler, were something quite bewildering, in fact, surpassing the natural possibilities of human beings. Their extraordinary powers were, however, accounted for by the following explanation, which was accepted in the school as entirely satisfactory. A certain little bone in the ankles of each of these young girls had been broken intentionally, secundum artem, at a very early age, and thus they had been fitted to accomplish these surprising feats which threw the achievements of the children who were left in the condition of the natural man into ignominious shadow.
—When I was a kid,—he said,—some of the moms in our small town, who wanted their children to be just as knowledgeable as other kids, got together and hired a dance teacher from the city to come out and give lessons for a few dollars a quarter to the well-off kids in the village. Some of their husbands were ministers, and some were deacons, but the moms knew what they were doing, and they didn’t see any reason why the children of ministers and deacons shouldn’t have just as good manners as the sons and daughters of troublemakers. So, as I mentioned, they brought a dance teacher out to our place—a reputable man, a really respectable guy,—madam (to the Landlady), you must remember that esteemed old citizen, in his old age, walking around the streets, a very gentlemanly figure despite his ailments,—though he always wore his hat a bit tilted to one side, like they do here and there along the Connecticut River, and sometimes on our city sidewalks, when they got a new hat; they hired him, I say, to teach us boys and girls lessons in dancing and etiquette. He was as gray and sprightly as a squirrel, as I recall, and would leap into the air and “cross his feet,” as we called it, three times before landing. Well, at the end of each term, there was what they called an “exhibition ball,” where the students danced cotillions and country dances; there was also something called a “gavotte,” and I think one or more couples did a minuet. But that’s not what I wanted to say. At this exhibition ball, he would bring out several hoops decorated with everlasting roses, which were used for a number of incredibly complicated and surprising routines; he also had his two daughters, who played a major role in these routines, and their amazing performances were quite astonishing to us, who had never seen Miss Taglioni or Miss Elssler, completely surpassing what we thought was possible for humans. Their extraordinary talents were, however, explained by the following story, which everyone at the school accepted as completely valid. A certain small bone in the ankles of each of these young girls had been intentionally broken, according to the proper method, at a very young age, and as a result, they were able to perform these impressive feats that put the accomplishments of the kids who were left in their natural state to shame.
—Thank you,—said I,—you have helped out my illustration so as to make it better than I expected. Let me begin again. Every poem that is worthy of the name, no matter how easily it seems to be written, represents a great amount of vital force expended at some time or other. When you find a beach strewed with the shells and other spoils that belonged once to the deep sea, you know the tide has been there, and that the winds and waves have wrestled over its naked sands. And so, if I find a poem stranded in my soul and have nothing to do but seize it as a wrecker carries off the treasure he finds cast ashore, I know I have paid at some time for that poem with some inward commotion, were it only an excess of enjoyment, which has used up just so much of my vital capital. But besides all the impressions that furnished the stuff of the poem, there has been hard work to get the management of that wonderful instrument I spoke of,—the great organ, language. An artist who works in marble or colors has them all to himself and his tribe, but the man who moulds his thought in verse has to employ the materials vulgarized by everybody's use, and glorify them by his handling. I don't know that you must break any bones in a poet's mechanism before his thought can dance in rhythm, but read your Milton and see what training, what patient labor, it took before he could shape our common speech into his majestic harmonies.
—Thank you,—I said,—you’ve improved my example and made it better than I expected. Let me start over. Every poem that truly deserves the name, no matter how effortlessly it seems to flow, involves a significant amount of energy spent at some point. When you see a beach scattered with shells and treasures that once belonged to the deep sea, you know the tide has been there, and the winds and waves have battled over its bare sands. Similarly, if I discover a poem lodged in my soul and only need to grab it like a treasure hunter collecting what’s washed ashore, I realize I have, at some point, paid for that poem with some inner disturbance, even if it's just an overflow of joy, which has tapped into some of my vital resources. But beyond all the experiences that provided the material for the poem, there’s hard work involved in mastering that incredible tool I mentioned—the great instrument of language. An artist who works with marble or paint has those materials all to themselves, but the person who shapes their thoughts into verse has to use the words that everyone else uses and elevate them through their craft. I can’t say you need to break any parts of a poet's craft for their thoughts to dance in rhythm, but read your Milton and see the training and patient effort it took for him to transform our everyday language into his majestic harmonies.
It is rather singular, but the same kind of thing has happened to me not very rarely before, as I suppose it has to most persons, that just when I happened to be thinking about poets and their conditions, this very morning, I saw a paragraph or two from a foreign paper which is apt to be sharp, if not cynical, relating to the same matter. I can't help it; I want to have my talk about it, and if I say the same things that writer did, somebody else can have the satisfaction of saying I stole them all.
It’s kind of strange, but this kind of thing has happened to me a lot before, probably like it has for most people. Just when I was thinking about poets and their situations this morning, I saw a couple of paragraphs from a foreign paper that tends to be pretty pointed, if not cynical, about the same topic. I can’t help it; I want to discuss it, and if I end up saying the same things that writer did, someone else can take pride in claiming I took them all.
[I thought the person whom I have called hypothetically the Man of Letters changed color a little and betrayed a certain awkward consciousness that some of us were looking at him or thinking of him; but I am a little suspicious about him and may do him wrong.]
[I thought the person I've referred to as the Man of Letters changed color a bit and showed some discomfort knowing that a few of us were looking at him or thinking about him; but I'm a bit skeptical of him and might be misjudging him.]
That poets are treated as privileged persons by their admirers and the educated public can hardly be disputed. That they consider themselves so there is no doubt whatever. On the whole, I do not know so easy a way of shirking all the civic and social and domestic duties, as to settle it in one's mind that one is a poet. I have, therefore, taken great pains to advise other persons laboring under the impression that they were gifted beings, destined to soar in the atmosphere of song above the vulgar realities of earth, not to neglect any homely duty under the influence of that impression. The number of these persons is so great that if they were suffered to indulge their prejudice against every-day duties and labors, it would be a serious loss to the productive industry of the country. My skirts are clear (so far as other people are concerned) of countenancing that form of intellectual opium-eating in which rhyme takes the place of the narcotic. But what are you going to do when you find John Keats an apprentice to a surgeon or apothecary? Is n't it rather better to get another boy to sweep out the shop and shake out the powders and stir up the mixtures, and leave him undisturbed to write his Ode on a Grecian Urn or to a Nightingale? Oh yes, the critic I have referred to would say, if he is John Keats; but not if he is of a much lower grade, even though he be genuine, what there is of him. But the trouble is, the sensitive persons who belong to the lower grades of the poetical hierarchy do not—know their own poetical limitations, while they do feel a natural unfitness and disinclination for many pursuits which young persons of the average balance of faculties take to pleasantly enough. What is forgotten is this, that every real poet, even of the humblest grade, is an artist. Now I venture to say that any painter or sculptor of real genius, though he may do nothing more than paint flowers and fruit, or carve cameos, is considered a privileged person. It is recognized perfectly that to get his best work he must be insured the freedom from disturbances which the creative power absolutely demands, more absolutely perhaps in these slighter artists than in the great masters. His nerves must be steady for him to finish a rose-leaf or the fold of a nymph's drapery in his best manner; and they will be unsteadied if he has to perform the honest drudgery which another can do for him quite as well. And it is just so with the poet, though he were only finishing an epigram; you must no more meddle roughly with him than you would shake a bottle of Chambertin and expect the “sunset glow” to redden your glass unclouded. On the other hand, it may be said that poetry is not an article of prime necessity, and potatoes are. There is a disposition in many persons just now to deny the poet his benefit of clergy, and to hold him no better than other people. Perhaps he is not, perhaps he is not so good, half the time; but he is a luxury, and if you want him you must pay for him, by not trying to make a drudge of him while he is all his lifetime struggling with the chills and heats of his artistic intermittent fever.
It's hard to dispute that poets are treated as special individuals by their fans and the educated public. There's no doubt they think of themselves that way. Honestly, I can't think of an easier way to dodge all civic, social, and household responsibilities than by convincing oneself that one is a poet. That's why I've put a lot of effort into advising others who think they’re exceptional beings meant to rise above the mundane realities of life to not overlook their everyday responsibilities. The number of these individuals is so large that if they were allowed to indulge their biases against routine tasks and work, it would be a significant loss to the country’s productivity. As far as others are concerned, I don’t support that kind of intellectual escapism where rhyme replaces reality. But what do you do when you find John Keats working as an apprentice to a surgeon or pharmacist? Isn’t it better to have another kid clean the shop and handle the potions, leaving him free to write his Ode on a Grecian Urn or to a Nightingale? Oh, yes, the critic I mentioned would agree if it’s John Keats, but not if it’s someone of a lower caliber, even if he is genuinely talented. The problem is that sensitive individuals who occupy the lower ranks of the poetic realm don’t really understand their own poetic limitations, while they certainly feel a natural unfitness and reluctance towards many activities that typical young people take up quite happily. What gets overlooked is that every real poet, even those of the humblest level, is an artist. I dare say that any genuinely talented painter or sculptor, even if all they do is paint flowers and fruit or carve cameos, is seen as a privileged person. It’s fully recognized that to produce his best work, he needs to be undisturbed, which creative power absolutely requires—maybe even more so for these lesser artists than for the great masters. His hands need to be steady to finish a rose leaf or the fold of a nymph's drapery beautifully; and they’ll be shaky if he has to do the honest labor that someone else could do just as well. It’s the same with poets, even if they’re just working on an epigram; you shouldn’t interfere with them any more than you would shake a bottle of Chambertin and expect the “sunset glow” to fill your glass perfectly. On the flip side, it can be said that poetry isn't a basic necessity, while potatoes are. Many people today seem inclined to deny poets their special status and view them as just like everyone else. Maybe they aren’t, maybe they’re not any better half the time; but they are a luxury, and if you want one, you should respect that by not trying to make them a laborer while they spend their lives grappling with the ups and downs of their artistic fever.
There may have been some lesser interruptions during the talk I have reported as if it was a set speech, but this was the drift of what I said and should have said if the other man, in the Review I referred to, had not seen fit to meddle with the subject, as some fellow always does, just about the time when I am going to say something about it. The old Master listened beautifully, except for cutting in once, as I told you he did. But now he had held in as long as it was in his nature to contain himself, and must have his say or go off in an apoplexy, or explode in some way.—I think you're right about the poets,—he said.—They are to common folks what repeaters are to ordinary watches. They carry music in their inside arrangements, but they want to be handled carefully or you put them out of order. And perhaps you must n't expect them to be quite as good timekeepers as the professional chronometer watches that make a specialty of being exact within a few seconds a month. They think too much of themselves. So does everybody that considers himself as having a right to fall back on what he calls his idiosyncrasy. Yet a man has such a right, and it is no easy thing to adjust the private claim to the fair public demand on him. Suppose you are subject to tic douloureux, for instance. Every now and then a tiger that nobody can see catches one side of your face between his jaws and holds on till he is tired and lets go. Some concession must be made to you on that score, as everybody can see. It is fair to give you a seat that is not in the draught, and your friends ought not to find fault with you if you do not care to join a party that is going on a sleigh-ride. Now take a poet like Cowper. He had a mental neuralgia, a great deal worse in many respects than tic douloureux confined to the face. It was well that he was sheltered and relieved, by the cares of kind friends, especially those good women, from as many of the burdens of life as they could lift off from him. I am fair to the poets,—don't you agree that I am?
There might have been some small interruptions during the talk I reported as if it were a prepared speech, but this captures the main point of what I said and what I would have said if the other person, mentioned in the Review I referred to, hadn’t decided to intervene in the discussion, as someone always does just when I'm about to say something important. The old Master listened attentively, except for interrupting once, as I mentioned. But now he had held back as long as he could, and he needed to express himself or he would either explode or have a fit. "I think you're right about poets," he said. "They’re to regular people what repeaters are to ordinary watches. They have music inside them, but they need to be handled with care, or they go out of sync. And you shouldn’t expect them to keep time as well as professional chronometers that specialize in being accurate within a few seconds a month. They think too highly of themselves. So does everyone who believes they have the right to rely on their so-called quirks. Yet a person does have such a right, and it’s not easy to balance their personal needs with the expectations of society. For instance, if you suffer from tic douloureux. Every now and then, an invisible tiger grabs one side of your face and doesn’t let go until it gets tired. Some accommodations should be made for that, as everyone can see. It’s reasonable to give you a seat away from drafts, and your friends shouldn’t complain if you don’t want to join a group going on a sleigh ride. Now look at a poet like Cowper. He experienced a mental pain that was much worse in many ways than facial tic douloureux. It’s fortunate that he was supported and cared for by kind friends, especially those wonderful women, who helped lift as many burdens of life off him as they could. I’m being fair to the poets—don’t you agree?
Why, yes,—I said,—you have stated the case fairly enough, a good deal as I should have put it myself.
Why, yes,—I said,—you’ve presented the situation pretty well, much like I would have expressed it myself.
Now, then,—the Master continued,—I 'll tell you what is necessary to all these artistic idiosyncrasies to bring them into good square human relations outside of the special province where their ways differ from those of other people. I am going to illustrate what I mean by a comparison. I don't know, by the way, but you would be disposed to think and perhaps call me a wine-bibber on the strength of the freedom with which I deal with that fluid for the purposes of illustration. But I make mighty little use of it, except as it furnishes me an image now and then, as it did, for that matter, to the Disciples and their Master. In my younger days they used to bring up the famous old wines, the White-top, the Juno, the Eclipse, the Essex Junior, and the rest, in their old cobwebbed, dusty bottles. The resurrection of one of these old sepulchred dignitaries had something of solemnity about it; it was like the disinterment of a king; the bringing to light of the Royal Martyr King Charles I., for instance, that Sir Henry Halford gave such an interesting account of. And the bottle seemed to inspire a personal respect; it was wrapped in a napkin and borne tenderly and reverently round to the guests, and sometimes a dead silence went before the first gush of its amber flood, and
Now, the Master continued, I’ll tell you what’s essential for all these artistic quirks to foster good relationships outside the unique areas where their approaches differ from those of others. I’m going to illustrate what I mean with a comparison. By the way, you might be tempted to think of me as a heavy drinker because of how freely I use that beverage for my examples. But I hardly ever use it, except when it gives me a metaphor now and then, just like it did for the Disciples and their Master. Back in my younger days, they would bring out the famous old wines, like the White-top, Juno, Eclipse, Essex Junior, and others, in their dusty, cobweb-covered bottles. The resurrection of one of these old treasures felt somehow solemn; it was like the discovery of a king's remains, similar to the way Sir Henry Halford described the unveiling of King Charles I. And the bottle seemed to inspire respect; it was wrapped in a napkin and delicately and reverently presented to the guests, and sometimes a hush fell before the first pour of its amber liquid, and
“The boldest held his breath For a time.”
“The bravest held his breath For a moment.”
But nowadays the precious juice of a long-dead vintage is transferred carefully into a cut-glass decanter, and stands side by side with the sherry from a corner grocery, which looks just as bright and apparently thinks just as well of itself. The old historic Madeiras, which have warmed the periods of our famous rhetoricians of the past and burned in the impassioned eloquence of our earlier political demigods, have nothing to mark them externally but a bit of thread, it may be, round the neck of the decanter, or a slip of ribbon, pink on one of them and blue on another.
But these days, the precious juice from a long-dead vintage is carefully poured into a cut-glass decanter, sitting next to sherry from a corner store, which looks just as bright and seems just as proud of itself. The old historic Madeiras, which have warmed the eras of our great speakers from the past and fueled the passionate speeches of our earlier political heroes, have nothing to distinguish them on the outside except maybe a piece of thread around the neck of the decanter or a slip of ribbon—pink on one and blue on another.
Go to a London club,—perhaps I might find something nearer home that would serve my turn,—but go to a London club, and there you will see the celebrities all looking alike modern, all decanted off from their historic antecedents and their costume of circumstance into the every-day aspect of the gentleman of common cultivated society. That is Sir Coeur de Lion Plantagenet in the mutton-chop whiskers and the plain gray suit; there is the Laureate in a frockcoat like your own, and the leader of the House of Commons in a necktie you do not envy. That is the kind of thing you want to take the nonsense out of you. If you are not decanted off from yourself every few days or weeks, you will think it sacrilege to brush a cobweb from your cork by and by. O little fool, that has published a little book full of little poems or other sputtering tokens of an uneasy condition, how I love you for the one soft nerve of special sensibility that runs through your exiguous organism, and the one phosphorescent particle in your unilluminated intelligence! But if you don't leave your spun-sugar confectionery business once in a while, and come out among lusty men,—the bristly, pachydermatous fellows that hew out the highways for the material progress of society, and the broad-shouldered, out-of-door men that fight for the great prizes of life,—you will come to think that the spun-sugar business is the chief end of man, and begin to feel and look as if you believed yourself as much above common people as that personage of whom Tourgueneff says that “he had the air of his own statue erected by national subscription.”
Go to a London club—maybe I could find something closer to home that would work for me—but go to a London club, and there you’ll see the celebrities all looking modern, stripped of their historical backgrounds and their unique styles, blending into the everyday look of a refined member of society. That’s Sir Coeur de Lion Plantagenet with the mutton-chop whiskers and plain gray suit; there’s the Poet Laureate in a frock coat just like yours, and the leader of the House of Commons in a necktie you don’t envy. That’s the kind of experience you need to shake off the nonsense. If you don’t step away from your own little world every few days or weeks, you’ll start to think it’s a sacrilege to brush a cobweb off your mind. Oh, dear fool, who has published a small book full of poems or other ramblings of an uneasy state, how I admire you for the one soft nerve of sensitivity that runs through your fragile being, and the single glowing spark in your dim intellect! But if you don’t leave your sweet little fantasy business every now and then, and join the tough, hearty men—the rugged, strong folks who carve out the paths for society’s progress, and the broad-shouldered outdoor men who fight for life’s greatest rewards—you’ll start believing that your sugary endeavors are life’s main purpose and begin to feel and act as if you think you’re above ordinary people, like that character Tourgueneff described as “having the air of his own statue erected by national subscription.”
—The Master paused and fell into a deep thinking fit, as he does sometimes. He had had his own say, it is true, but he had established his character as a listener to my own perfect satisfaction, for I, too, was conscious of having preached with a certain prolixity.
—The Master paused and fell into a deep thought, as he sometimes does. It’s true that he had his say, but he had shown himself to be a good listener to my complete satisfaction, because I was also aware that I had spoken at length.
—I am always troubled when I think of my very limited mathematical capacities. It seems as if every well-organized mind should be able to handle numbers and quantities through their symbols to an indefinite extent; and yet, I am puzzled by what seems to a clever boy with a turn for calculation as plain as counting his fingers. I don't think any man feels well grounded in knowledge unless he has a good basis of mathematical certainties, and knows how to deal with them and apply them to every branch of knowledge where they can come in to advantage.
—I am always concerned when I think about my very limited math skills. It feels like anyone with a well-organized mind should be able to work with numbers and quantities through their symbols endlessly; yet, I find myself confused by what appears to be as simple as counting on one’s fingers to a smart kid with a knack for calculations. I don’t believe anyone truly feels secure in their knowledge unless they have a solid foundation of mathematical certainties and knows how to use them and apply them to every area of knowledge where they can be beneficial.
Our Young Astronomer is known for his mathematical ability, and I asked him what he thought was the difficulty in the minds that are weak in that particular direction, while they may be of remarkable force in other provinces of thought, as is notoriously the case with some men of great distinction in science.
Our Young Astronomer is known for his math skills, and I asked him what he thought was the challenge for people who struggle in that area, even though they may excel in other types of thinking, which is often true for some highly distinguished figures in science.
The young man smiled and wrote a few letters and symbols on a piece of paper.—Can you see through that at once?—he said.
The young man smiled and wrote a few letters and symbols on a piece of paper. —Can you figure that out right away?—he said.
I puzzled over it for some minutes and gave it up.
I thought about it for a few minutes and then gave up.
—He said, as I returned it to him, You have heard military men say that such a person had an eye for country, have n't you? One man will note all the landmarks, keep the points of compass in his head, observe how the streams run, in short, carry a map in his brain of any region that he has marched or galloped through. Another man takes no note of any of these things; always follows somebody else's lead when he can, and gets lost if he is left to himself; a mere owl in daylight. Just so some men have an eye for an equation, and would read at sight the one that you puzzled over. It is told of Sir Isaac Newton that he required no demonstration of the propositions in Euclid's Geometry, but as soon as he had read the enunciation the solution or answer was plain at once. The power may be cultivated, but I think it is to a great degree a natural gift, as is the eye for color, as is the ear for music.
—He said, as I handed it back to him, You’ve heard military folks talk about someone having a good sense of direction, right? One person will notice all the landmarks, keep track of the compass directions in their head, pay attention to how the rivers flow, basically have a mental map of any place they've marched or ridden through. Another person doesn’t notice any of that; they always follow someone else’s lead when they can and get lost if left to their own devices; like an owl during the day. In the same way, some people have a knack for math and can instantly read the equation that stumps you. It’s said that Sir Isaac Newton didn’t need any proof for the propositions in Euclid's Geometry; as soon as he read the statement, the solution was clear to him right away. This skill can be developed, but I believe it’s largely a natural talent, just like having an eye for color or an ear for music.
—I think I could read equations readily enough,—I said,—if I could only keep my attention fixed on them; and I think I could keep my attention on them if I were imprisoned in a thinking-cell, such as the Creative Intelligence shapes for its studio when at its divinest work.
—I think I could read equations pretty easily,—I said,—if I could just keep my focus on them; and I think I could stay focused if I were locked in a thinking-cell, like the Creative Intelligence designs for its studio when it’s doing its best work.
The young man's lustrous eyes opened very widely as he asked me to explain what I meant.
The young man's bright eyes widened as he asked me to clarify what I meant.
—What is the Creator's divinest work?—I asked.
—What is the Creator's greatest work?—I asked.
—Is there anything more divine than the sun; than a sun with its planets revolving about it, warming them, lighting them, and giving conscious life to the beings that move on them?
—Is there anything more heavenly than the sun; than a sun with its planets orbiting around it, warming them, lighting them, and giving conscious life to the beings that inhabit them?
—You agree, then, that conscious life is the grand aim and end of all this vast mechanism. Without life that could feel and enjoy, the splendors and creative energy would all be thrown away. You know Harvey's saying, omnia animalia ex ovo,—all animals come from an egg. You ought to know it, for the great controversy going on about spontaneous generation has brought it into special prominence lately. Well, then, the ovum, the egg, is, to speak in human phrase, the Creator's more private and sacred studio, for his magnum opus. Now, look at a hen's egg, which is a convenient one to study, because it is large enough and built solidly enough to look at and handle easily. That would be the form I would choose for my thinking-cell. Build me an oval with smooth, translucent walls, and put me in the centre of it with Newton's “Principia” or Kant's “Kritik,” and I think I shall develop “an eye for an equation,” as you call it, and a capacity for an abstraction.
—So, you agree that conscious life is the ultimate goal of this vast mechanism. Without life that can feel and enjoy, all the wonders and creative energy would be wasted. You know Harvey's saying, omnia animalia ex ovo—everything comes from an egg. You should be familiar with it since the big debate about spontaneous generation has brought it to the forefront recently. Well, the ovum, the egg, is, to put it in human terms, the Creator's more private and sacred studio for creating his masterpiece. Now, look at a hen's egg, which is a convenient one to examine because it’s large enough and solid enough to handle easily. That would be the shape I would choose for my thinking space. Build me an oval with smooth, translucent walls, and place me in the center of it with Newton's “Principia” or Kant's “Kritik,” and I believe I’ll develop “an eye for an equation,” as you say, and a talent for abstraction.
But do tell me,—said the Astronomer, a little incredulously,—what there is in that particular form which is going to help you to be a mathematician or a metaphysician?
But do tell me, said the Astronomer, a bit skeptically, what is it about that specific shape that will help you become a mathematician or a metaphysician?
—It is n't help I want, it is removing hindrances. I don't want to see anything to draw off my attention. I don't want a cornice, or an angle, or anything but a containing curve. I want diffused light and no single luminous centre to fix my eye, and so distract my mind from its one object of contemplation. The metaphysics of attention have hardly been sounded to their depths. The mere fixing the look on any single object for a long time may produce very strange effects. Gibbon's well-known story of the monks of Mount Athos and their contemplative practice is often laughed over, but it has a meaning. They were to shut the door of the cell, recline the beard and chin on the breast, and contemplate the abdominal centre.
—It's not help I want; it's removing distractions. I don't want anything to pull my attention away. I don't want a cornice, or an angle, or anything except a smooth curve. I want soft, even light without a single bright spot to draw my eye and distract my mind from its one focus of contemplation. The complexities of attention haven't been fully explored. Simply staring at one object for a long time can lead to very strange effects. Gibbon's famous story about the monks of Mount Athos and their practice of contemplation is often mocked, but it has significance. They were instructed to close the door of their cell, rest their chin on their chest, and focus on their abdominal center.
“At first all will be dark and comfortless; but if you persevere day and night, you will feel an ineffable joy; and no sooner has the soul discovered the place of the heart, than it is involved in a mystic and ethereal light.” And Mr. Braid produces absolute anaesthesia, so that surgical operations can be performed without suffering to the patient, only by making him fix his eyes and his mind on a single object; and Newton is said to have said, as you remember, “I keep the subject constantly before me, and wait till the first dawnings open slowly by little and little into a full and clear light.” These are different, but certainly very wonderful, instances of what can be done by attention. But now suppose that your mind is in its nature discursive, erratic, subject to electric attractions and repulsions, volage; it may be impossible for you to compel your attention except by taking away all external disturbances. I think the poets have an advantage and a disadvantage as compared with the steadier-going people. Life is so vivid to the poet, that he is too eager to seize and exhaust its multitudinous impressions. Like Sindbad in the valley of precious stones, he wants to fill his pockets with diamonds, but, lo! there is a great ruby like a setting sun in its glory, and a sapphire that, like Bryant's blue gentian, seems to have dropped from the cerulean walls of heaven, and a nest of pearls that look as if they might be unhatched angel's eggs, and so he hardly knows what to seize, and tries for too many, and comes out of the enchanted valley with more gems than he can carry, and those that he lets fall by the wayside we call his poems. You may change the image a thousand ways to show you how hard it is to make a mathematician or a logician out of a poet. He carries the tropics with him wherever he goes; he is in the true sense felius naturae, and Nature tempts him, as she tempts a child walking through a garden where all the finest fruits are hanging over him and dropping round him, where
“At first, everything will feel dark and uncomfortable; but if you keep at it day and night, you'll experience a profound joy; and as soon as the soul finds its true center, it becomes enveloped in a mystical and ethereal light.” And Mr. Braid achieves complete anesthesia, allowing surgeries to be done without pain for the patient, simply by having them focus their eyes and mind on one single object; and Newton is said to have remarked, as you recall, “I keep the subject constantly in front of me, and wait for the first hints to gradually reveal themselves into a full and clear understanding.” These are different but definitely remarkable examples of what can be achieved through focus. But now imagine that your mind is naturally wandering, unpredictable, influenced by energetic attractions and repulsions, restless; it might be impossible for you to command your focus unless you eliminate all outside distractions. I think poets have both an advantage and a disadvantage compared to more stable individuals. Life is so intense for the poet that they become too eager to capture and exhaust its countless impressions. Like Sindbad in the valley of precious stones, they want to fill their pockets with diamonds, but, oh! there’s a huge ruby shining like a sunset in all its glory, and a sapphire that, like Bryant's blue gentian, seems to have fallen from the blue heavens, and a nest of pearls that look like they could be unhatched angel’s eggs, so they hardly know what to grab, and they reach for too many, leaving the enchanted valley with more treasures than they can carry, and those they drop along the way we call their poems. You could change the analogy in countless ways to illustrate how difficult it is to turn a poet into a mathematician or a logician. They carry the tropics with them wherever they go; they are, in the truest sense, a child of nature, and Nature tempts them, like a child walking through a garden where all the finest fruits are hanging above and falling all around them, where
The luscious clusters of the vine Upon (his) mouth do crush their wine, The nectarine and curious peach, Into (his) hands themselves do reach;
The luscious clusters of the vine Upon his mouth do crush their wine, The nectarine and curious peach, Into his hands themselves do reach;
and he takes a bite out of the sunny side of this and the other, and, ever stimulated and never satisfied, is hurried through the garden, and, before he knows it, finds himself at an iron gate which opens outward, and leaves the place he knows and loves—
and he takes a bite out of the sunny side of this and the other, and, ever stimulated and never satisfied, is hurried through the garden, and, before he knows it, finds himself at an iron gate that opens outward, leaving the place he knows and loves—
—For one he will perhaps soon learn to love and know better,—said the Master.—But I can help you out with another comparison, not quite so poetical as yours. Why did not you think of a railway-station, where the cars stop five minutes for refreshments? Is n't that a picture of the poet's hungry and hurried feast at the banquet of life? The traveller flings himself on the bewildering miscellany of delicacies spread before him, the various tempting forms of ambrosia and seducing draughts of nectar, with the same eager hurry and restless ardor that you describe in the poet. Dear me! If it wasn't for All aboard! that summons of the deaf conductor which tears one away from his half-finished sponge-cake and coffee, how I, who do not call myself a poet, but only a questioner, should have enjoyed a good long stop—say a couple of thousand years—at this way-station on the great railroad leading to the unknown terminus!
—For one, he might soon learn to love and understand better,—said the Master.—But I can offer you another comparison, not quite as poetic as yours. Why didn’t you think of a train station, where the trains stop for five minutes for refreshments? Isn’t that a perfect image of the poet’s hungry and hurried feast at the banquet of life? The traveler dives into the confusing array of delicacies laid out before him, the various tempting forms of ambrosia and enticing drinks of nectar, with the same eager rush and restless energy that you described in the poet. Oh my! If it weren’t for that “All aboard!” call from the deaf conductor that pulls you away from your half-eaten sponge cake and coffee, how I, who don’t consider myself a poet, but just a questioner, would have loved to linger—say a couple of thousand years—at this way station on the great railroad leading to the unknown destination!
—You say you are not a poet,—I said, after a little pause, in which I suppose both of us were thinking where the great railroad would land us after carrying us into the dark tunnel, the farther end of which no man has seen and taken a return train to bring us news about it,—you say you are not a poet, and yet it seems to me you have some of the elements which go to make one.
—You say you’re not a poet,—I said, after a brief pause, during which I imagine we both pondered where the big train would take us after guiding us into the dark tunnel, the far end of which no one has seen and sent back a train to tell us about it,—you say you’re not a poet, yet it seems to me you possess some of the qualities that make one.
—I don't think you mean to flatter me,—the Master answered,—and, what is more, for I am not afraid to be honest with you, I don't think you do flatter me. I have taken the inventory of my faculties as calmly as if I were an appraiser. I have some of the qualities, perhaps I may say many of the qualities, that make a man a poet, and yet I am not one. And in the course of a pretty wide experience of men—and women—(the Master sighed, I thought, but perhaps I was mistaken)—I have met a good many poets who were not rhymesters and a good many rhymesters who were not poets. So I am only one of the Voiceless, that I remember one of you singers had some verses about. I think there is a little music in me, but it has not found a voice, and it never will. If I should confess the truth, there is no mere earthly immortality that I envy so much as the poet's. If your name is to live at all, it is so much more to have it live in people's hearts than only in their brains! I don't know that one's eyes fill with tears when he thinks of the famous inventor of logarithms, but song of Burns's or a hymn of Charles Wesley's goes straight to your heart, and you can't help loving both of them, the sinner as well as the saint. The works of other men live, but their personality dies out of their labors; the poet, who reproduces himself in his creation, as no other artist does or can, goes down to posterity with all his personality blended with whatever is imperishable in his song. We see nothing of the bees that built the honeycomb and stored it with its sweets, but we can trace the veining in the wings of insects that flitted through the forests which are now coal-beds, kept unchanging in the amber that holds them; and so the passion of Sappho, the tenderness of Simonides, the purity of holy George Herbert, the lofty contemplativeness of James Shirley, are before us to-day as if they were living, in a few tears of amber verse. It seems, when one reads,
—I don't think you're trying to flatter me,—the Master replied,—and, to be honest, I don’t think you are flattering me. I’ve evaluated my abilities as calmly as if I were an appraiser. I have some qualities, maybe even many qualities, that make a person a poet, and yet I’m not one. Throughout my experiences with people—both men and women—(the Master sighed, or at least I thought so, but maybe I was wrong)—I’ve encountered quite a few poets who weren’t just about rhyming, and a lot of rhymers who weren’t real poets. So I’m just one of the Voiceless, as I recall one of you singers wrote in a verse. I think there’s a bit of music in me, but it hasn’t found its voice, and it probably never will. To be honest, there’s no earthly form of immortality I desire as much as the poet's. If your name is going to live on at all, it’s far better for it to live in people’s hearts rather than just in their minds! I doubt anyone tears up when they think of the famous inventor of logarithms, but the songs of Burns or a hymn by Charles Wesley go straight to your heart, making you love both of them, the sinner and the saint. The works of other men might endure, but their personal touch fades from their creations; a poet, who embodies themselves in their work like no other artist can, goes down to future generations with all their personality intertwined with what’s everlasting in their songs. We don’t see the bees that made the honeycomb and filled it with sweetness, but we can trace the patterns in the wings of insects that fluttered through forests now turned to coal beds, preserved in amber. And so, the passion of Sappho, the tenderness of Simonides, the purity of the holy George Herbert, and the lofty contemplation of James Shirley are still with us today as if they were alive, captured in a few tears of amber verse. When one reads, it seems,
“Sweet day! so cool, so calm, so bright,”
“Sweet day! So cool, so calm, so bright,”
or,
or,
“The glories of our birth and state,”
“The glories of our birth and state,”
as if it were not a very difficult matter to gain immortality,—such an immortality at least as a perishable language can give. A single lyric is enough, if one can only find in his soul and finish in his intellect one of those jewels fit to sparkle “on the stretched forefinger of all time.” A coin, a ring, a string of verses. These last, and hardly anything else does. Every century is an overloaded ship that must sink at last with most of its cargo. The small portion of its crew that get on board the new vessel which takes them off don't pretend to save a great many of the bulky articles. But they must not and will not leave behind the hereditary jewels of the race; and if you have found and cut a diamond, were it only a spark with a single polished facet, it will stand a better chance of being saved from the wreck than anything, no matter what, that wants much room for stowage.
as if it were not that hard to achieve immortality—at least the kind that a fleeting language can provide. Just one song is enough, if one can discover within their soul and articulate with their mind one of those treasures worthy of shining “on the stretched forefinger of all time.” A coin, a ring, a collection of verses. These last, and barely anything else, does. Every century is an overloaded ship that will eventually sink with most of its cargo. The small part of its crew that boards the new vessel taking them away doesn’t aim to save many of the bulky items. But they cannot and will not leave behind the precious gems of their heritage; and if you have found and polished a diamond, even if it’s just a spark with a single shining facet, it has a better chance of being salvaged from the wreck than anything, no matter what, that requires a lot of space for storage.
The pyramids last, it is true, but most of them have forgotten their builders' names. But the ring of Thothmes III., who reigned some fourteen hundred years before our era, before Homer sang, before the Argonauts sailed, before Troy was built, is in the possession of Lord Ashburnham, and proclaims the name of the monarch who wore it more than three thousand years ago. The gold coins with the head of Alexander the Great are some of them so fresh one might think they were newer than much of the silver currency we were lately handling. As we have been quoting from the poets this morning, I will follow the precedent, and give some lines from an epistle of Pope to Addison after the latter had written, but not yet published, his Dialogue on Medals. Some of these lines have been lingering in my memory for a great many years, but I looked at the original the other day and was so pleased with them that I got them by heart. I think you will say they are singularly pointed and elegant.
The pyramids may endure, but most of them have forgotten the names of their builders. The ring of Thothmes III, who ruled about fourteen hundred years before our era, before Homer’s time, before the Argonauts set sail, and before Troy was built, now belongs to Lord Ashburnham and proudly displays the name of the king who wore it over three thousand years ago. The gold coins featuring the head of Alexander the Great are so well-preserved that one might think they are newer than much of the silver currency we've recently been using. Since we've been quoting poets this morning, I’ll follow suit and share some lines from a letter Pope wrote to Addison after Addison completed, but hadn’t yet published, his Dialogue on Medals. Some of these lines have stuck with me for many years, but when I looked at the original the other day, I was so impressed that I memorized them. I think you’ll find they are particularly sharp and elegant.
“Ambition sighed; she found it vain to trust The faithless column and the crumbling bust; Huge moles, whose shadows stretched from shore to shore, Their ruins perished, and their place no more! Convinced, she now contracts her vast design, And all her triumphs shrink into a coin. A narrow orb each crowded conquest keeps, Beneath her palm here sad Judaea weeps; Now scantier limits the proud arch confine, And scarce are seen the prostrate Nile or Rhine; A small Euphrates through the piece is rolled, And little eagles wave their wings in gold.”
“Ambition sighed; she realized it was pointless to trust The unsteady pillar and the decaying statue; Massive shadows stretched endlessly from one side to the other, Their ruins are gone, and their spots are lost! Convinced, she now pulls back her grand plans, And all her victories shrink into a coin. A tiny sphere holds each packed conquest, Here, sad Judea mourns under her hand; Now, narrower limits contain the proud arch, And you can barely see the fallen Nile or Rhine; A small Euphrates flows through the piece, As little eagles flap their wings in gold.”
It is the same thing in literature. Write half a dozen folios full of other people's ideas (as all folios are pretty sure to be), and you serve as ballast to the lower shelves of a library, about as like to be disturbed as the kentledge in the hold of a ship. Write a story, or a dozen stories, and your book will be in demand like an oyster while it is freshly opened, and after tha—. The highways of literature are spread over with the shells of dead novels, each of which has been swallowed at a mouthful by the public, and is done with. But write a volume of poems. No matter if they are all bad but one, if that one is very good. It will carry your name down to posterity like the ring of Thothmes, like the coin of Alexander. I don't suppose one would care a great deal about it a hundred or a thousand years after he is dead, but I don't feel quite sure. It seems as if, even in heaven, King David might remember “The Lord is my Shepherd” with a certain twinge of earthly pleasure. But we don't know, we don't know.
It’s the same with literature. Write a bunch of pages filled with other people's ideas (which is pretty much what all those pages end up being), and you’re just taking up space on the lower shelves of a library, likely to be untouched like the cargo in the hold of a ship. Write one story, or a dozen stories, and your book will be in demand like a freshly opened oyster, and after that—. The landscape of literature is littered with the remains of failed novels, each one devoured by the public in one bite and then forgotten. But write a book of poems. It doesn’t matter if they’re all bad except for one, if that one is outstanding. It will keep your name alive for future generations like the ring of Thothmes or the coin of Alexander. I doubt anyone would care much about it a hundred or a thousand years after they're gone, but then again, I’m not entirely sure. It seems like even in heaven, King David might still recall “The Lord is my Shepherd” with a hint of earthly joy. But we don’t know, we really don’t know.
—What in the world can have become of That Boy and his popgun while all this somewhat extended sermonizing was going on? I don't wonder you ask, beloved Reader, and I suppose I must tell you how we got on so long without interruption. Well, the plain truth is, the youngster was contemplating his gastric centre, like the monks of Mount Athos, but in a less happy state of mind than those tranquil recluses, in consequence of indulgence in the heterogeneous assortment of luxuries procured with the five-cent piece given him by the kind-hearted old Master. But you need not think I am going to tell you every time his popgun goes off, making a Selah of him whenever I want to change the subject. Occasionally he was ill-timed in his artillery practice and ignominiously rebuked, sometimes he was harmlessly playful and nobody minded him, but every now and then he came in so apropos that I am morally certain he gets a hint from somebody who watches the course of the conversation, and means through him to have a hand in it and stop any of us when we are getting prosy. But in consequence of That Boy's indiscretion, we were without a check upon our expansiveness, and ran on in the way you have observed and may be disposed to find fault with.
—What on earth happened to That Boy and his popgun while all this rather long-winded preaching was going on? I don't blame you for asking, dear Reader, and I guess I need to explain how we managed to go on for so long without interruption. Well, the plain truth is, the kid was focused on his stomach like the monks of Mount Athos, but in a less peaceful mindset than those serene hermits, due to overindulging in the mix of treats he bought with the five-cent coin given to him by the kind-hearted old Master. But don't think I'm going to mention every time his popgun goes off just to switch topics. Sometimes he chose the worst moments for his artillery practice and received some embarrassing scolding; other times he was just playfully harmless, and nobody minded him. Yet every now and then, he would chime in at just the right moment, and I’m pretty sure he gets a cue from someone watching the conversation, trying to take part and interrupt us when we start rambling. But because of That Boy's indiscretion, we lacked any restraint on our tendency to go on and on, and we carried on in the manner you've noticed and might be inclined to criticize.
One other thing the Master said before we left the table, after our long talk of that day.
One more thing the Master said before we left the table, after our long conversation that day.
—I have been tempted sometimes,—said he, to envy the immediate triumphs of the singer. He enjoys all that praise can do for him and at the very moment of exerting his talent. And the singing women! Once in a while, in the course of my life, I have found myself in the midst of a tulip-bed of full-dressed, handsome women in all their glory, and when some one among them has shaken her gauzy wings, and sat down before the piano, and then, only giving the keys a soft touch now and then to support her voice, has warbled some sweet, sad melody intertwined with the longings or regrets of some tender-hearted poet, it has seemed to me that so to hush the rustling of the silks and silence the babble of the buds, as they call the chicks of a new season, and light up the flame of romance in cold hearts, in desolate ones, in old burnt-out ones,—like mine, I was going to say, but I won't, for it isn't so, and you may laugh to hear me say it isn't so, if you like,—was perhaps better than to be remembered a few hundred years by a few perfect stanzas, when your gravestone is standing aslant, and your name is covered over with a lichen as big as a militia colonel's cockade, and nobody knows or cares enough about you to scrape it off and set the tipsy old slate-stone upright again.
—I have sometimes been tempted,—he said, to envy the immediate success of the singer. He gets all the praise in the moment he uses his talent. And the singing women! Occasionally, throughout my life, I've found myself surrounded by a stunning group of elegantly dressed, beautiful women, all in their glory. When one of them shakes her delicate wings and sits down at the piano, softly pressing the keys now and then to support her voice while she sings a sweet, sad melody filled with the longings or regrets of a sensitive poet, it seems to me that silencing the rustling of silks and quieting the chatter of the buds—what they call the chicks of a new season—and igniting the flame of romance in cold hearts, in broken ones, in old, burnt-out ones—like mine, I was about to say, but I won’t, because it’s not true, and you can laugh if you want to hear me say that it's not true—was maybe better than being remembered for a few hundred years by a handful of perfect lines, when your gravestone is leaning to one side, and your name is covered with a lichen as big as a militia colonel's cockade, and nobody knows or cares enough to scrape it off and set the tipsy old slate-stone upright again.
—I said nothing in reply to this, for I was thinking of a sweet singer to whose voice I had listened in its first freshness, and which is now only an echo in my memory. If any reader of the periodical in which these conversations are recorded can remember so far back as the first year of its publication, he will find among the papers contributed by a friend not yet wholly forgotten a few verses, lively enough in their way, headed “The Boys.” The sweet singer was one of this company of college classmates, the constancy of whose friendship deserves a better tribute than the annual offerings, kindly meant, as they are, which for many years have not been wanting at their social gatherings. The small company counts many noted personages on its list, as is well known to those who are interested in such local matters, but it is not known that every fifth man of the whole number now living is more or less of a poet,—using that word with a generous breadth of significance. But it should seem that the divine gift it implies is more freely dispensed than some others, for while there are (or were, for one has taken his Last Degree) eight musical quills, there was but one pair of lips which could claim any special consecration to vocal melody. Not that one that should undervalue the half-recitative of doubtful barytones, or the brilliant escapades of slightly unmanageable falsettos, or the concentrated efforts of the proprietors of two or three effective notes, who may be observed lying in wait for them, and coming down on them with all their might, and the look on their countenances of “I too am a singer.” But the voice that led all, and that all loved to listen to, the voice that was at once full, rich, sweet, penetrating, expressive, whose ample overflow drowned all the imperfections and made up for all the shortcomings of the others, is silent henceforth forevermore for all earthly listeners.
—I said nothing in response to this because I was thinking about a beautiful singer whose voice I had enjoyed in its prime, and which is now just a memory. If anyone reading the magazine where these conversations are recorded can remember back to its very first year of publication, they will find among the contributions from a friend who isn’t completely forgotten some lively verses titled “The Boys.” The sweet singer was part of this group of college classmates, whose lasting friendship deserves more recognition than the annual gestures, well-intentioned as they are, that have been a constant at their social gatherings for many years. This small group includes many notable individuals, as those interested in local affairs know, but it’s not commonly known that every fifth member still alive is more or less a poet—using that term in its broadest sense. It seems that the divine talent it entails is more readily given than some others, for while there are (or were, since one has passed on) eight musical talents, only one set of lips had any special claim to vocal beauty. Not to undervalue the half-singing of questionable barytones, the flashy flights of slightly unruly falsettos, or the concentrated efforts of those with only a couple of effective notes, who can be seen lying in wait for them, launching into song with all their might, wearing expressions of “I too am a singer.” But the voice that stood out, that everyone loved to hear, the voice that was full, rich, sweet, penetrating, and expressive, whose generous flow overshadowed all the flaws and compensated for the shortcomings of the rest, is now silent forever for all earthly listeners.
And these were the lines that one of “The Boys,” as they have always called themselves for ever so many years, read at the first meeting after the voice which had never failed them was hushed in the stillness of death.
And these were the words that one of "The Boys," as they have always called themselves for so many years, read at the first meeting after the voice that had never failed them was silenced in the quiet of death.
J. A. 1871. One memory trembles on our lips It throbs in every breast; In tear-dimmed eyes, in mirth's eclipse, The shadow stands confessed. O silent voice, that cheered so long Our manhood's marching day, Without thy breath of heavenly song, How weary seems the way! Vain every pictured phrase to tell Our sorrowing hearts' desire; The shattered harp, the broken shell, The silent unstrung lyre; For youth was round us while he sang; It glowed in every tone; With bridal chimes the echoes rang, And made the past our own. O blissful dream! Our nursery joys We know must have an end, But love and friendships broken toys May God's good angels mend! The cheering smile, the voice of mirth And laughter's gay surprise That please the children born of earth, Why deem that Heaven denies? Methinks in that refulgent sphere That knows not sun or moon, An earth-born saint might long to hear One verse of “Bonny Doon”; Or walking through the streets of gold In Heaven's unclouded light, His lips recall the song of old And hum “The sky is bright.” And can we smile when thou art dead? Ah, brothers, even so! The rose of summer will be red, In spite of winter's snow. Thou wouldst not leave us all in gloom Because thy song is still, Nor blight the banquet-garland's bloom With grief's untimely chill. The sighing wintry winds complain, The singing bird has flown, —Hark! heard I not that ringing strain, That clear celestial tone? How poor these pallid phrases seem, How weak this tinkling line, As warbles through my waking dream That angel voice of thine! Thy requiem asks a sweeter lay; It falters on my tongue; For all we vainly strive to say, Thou shouldst thyself have sung!
J. A. 1871. One memory lingers on our lips It resonates in every heart; In tear-filled eyes, in moments of joy, The shadow stands revealed. O silent voice, that uplifted us so long During our journey through life, Without your breath of heavenly song, The path seems so tiring! Every imagined phrase fails to express Our sorrowful hearts' longing; The shattered harp, the broken shell, The quiet unstrung lyre; For youth surrounded us while you sang; It shone in every tone; With joyful chimes, the echoes rang, Making the past our own. O joyful dream! Our childhood pleasures We know must come to an end, But love and friendships' broken toys May God's good angels mend! The cheerful smile, the voice of laughter And the surprise of joy That delight the children of the earth, Why assume that Heaven denies? I think in that brilliant realm That knows no sun or moon, An earth-born saint might long to hear One verse of “Bonny Doon”; Or walking through the streets of gold In Heaven's clear light, His lips recall the song of old And hum “The sky is bright.” And can we smile when you are gone? Ah, brothers, even so! The rose of summer will remain red, Despite winter's snow. You wouldn’t want to leave us in sorrow Just because your song is still, Nor spoil the banquet’s joy With grief’s untimely chill. The sighing winter winds complain, The singing bird has flown, —Hark! did I not hear that ringing sound, That clear celestial tone? How inadequate these pale phrases seem, How weak this tinkling line, As your angelic voice Warbles through my waking dream! Your requiem deserves a sweeter song; It falters on my tongue; For all we try to express in vain, You should have sung it yourself!
V
I fear that I have done injustice in my conversation and my report of it to a most worthy and promising young man whom I should be very sorry to injure in any way. Dr. Benjamin Franklin got hold of my account of my visit to him, and complained that I had made too much of the expression he used. He did not mean to say that he thought I was suffering from the rare disease he mentioned, but only that the color reminded him of it. It was true that he had shown me various instruments, among them one for exploring the state of a part by means of a puncture, but he did not propose to make use of it upon my person. In short, I had colored the story so as to make him look ridiculous.
I'm worried that I've done a disservice in my conversation and my account of it to a very deserving and promising young man whom I would hate to harm in any way. Dr. Benjamin Franklin came across my description of my visit with him and said I exaggerated his comments. He didn’t actually think I had the unusual disease he mentioned; he just said the color reminded him of it. It's true he showed me several instruments, including one for examining an area through a puncture, but he never intended to use that on me. In short, I twisted the story to make him look foolish.
—I am afraid I did,—I said,—but was n't I colored myself so as to look ridiculous? I've heard it said that people with the jaundice see everything yellow; perhaps I saw things looking a little queerly, with that black and blue spot I could n't account for threatening to make a colored man and brother of me. But I am sorry if I have done you any wrong. I hope you won't lose any patients by my making a little fun of your meters and scopes and contrivances. They seem so odd to us outside people. Then the idea of being bronzed all over was such an alarming suggestion. But I did not mean to damage your business, which I trust is now considerable, and I shall certainly come to you again if I have need of the services of a physician. Only don't mention the names of any diseases in English or Latin before me next time. I dreamed about cutis oenea half the night after I came to see you.
—I’m sorry, I did,—I said,—but didn’t I paint myself just to look ridiculous? I’ve heard that people with jaundice see everything yellow; maybe I saw things a little oddly, with that unexplained black and blue spot threatening to turn me into a colored man. But I’m sorry if I’ve wronged you. I hope you won’t lose any patients because I poked a little fun at your meters and scopes and gadgets. They seem so strange to us outsiders. Then the idea of being completely bronzed was such a frightening thought. But I didn’t mean to harm your business, which I hope is going well, and I’ll definitely come back to you if I need a doctor. Just please don’t mention any disease names in English or Latin next time. I dreamt about cutis oenea half the night after I came to see you.
Dr. Benjamin took my apology very pleasantly. He did not want to be touchy about it, he said, but he had his way to make in the world, and found it a little hard at first, as most young men did. People were afraid to trust them, no matter how much they knew. One of the old doctors asked him to come in and examine a patient's heart for him the other day. He went with him accordingly, and when they stood by the bedside, he offered his stethoscope to the old doctor. The old doctor took it and put the wrong end to his ear and the other to the patient's chest, and kept it there about two minutes, looking all the time as wise as an old owl. Then he, Dr. Benjamin, took it and applied it properly, and made out where the trouble was in no time at all. But what was the use of a young man's pretending to know anything in the presence of an old owl? I saw by their looks, he said, that they all thought I used the stethoscope wrong end up, and was nothing but a 'prentice hand to the old doctor.
Dr. Benjamin took my apology really well. He didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, he said, but he had his path to follow in life and found it a bit tough at first, just like most young guys do. People were hesitant to trust them, no matter how much they knew. The other day, one of the senior doctors asked him to come in and check a patient’s heart for him. He went along, and when they stood by the bedside, he offered his stethoscope to the senior doctor. The older doctor took it, put the wrong end to his ear and the other end to the patient's chest, and kept it there for about two minutes, looking as wise as an old owl the whole time. Then Dr. Benjamin took it back and used it properly, figuring out the issue in no time. But what good was it for a young guy to act like he knew anything in front of an old owl? I could see in their expressions, he said, that they all thought I was using the stethoscope the wrong way and was just a rookie compared to the old doctor.
—I am much pleased to say that since Dr. Benjamin has had charge of a dispensary district, and been visiting forty or fifty patients a day, I have reason to think he has grown a great deal more practical than when I made my visit to his office. I think I was probably one of his first patients, and that he naturally made the most of me. But my second trial was much more satisfactory. I got an ugly cut from the carving-knife in an affair with a goose of iron constitution in which I came off second best. I at once adjourned with Dr. Benjamin to his small office, and put myself in his hands. It was astonishing to see what a little experience of miscellaneous practice had done for him. He did not ask me anymore questions about my hereditary predispositions on the paternal and maternal sides. He did not examine me with the stethoscope or the laryngoscope. He only strapped up my cut, and informed me that it would speedily get well by the “first intention,”—an odd phrase enough, but sounding much less formidable than cutis oenea.
—I’m happy to say that since Dr. Benjamin has taken over a dispensary district and has been seeing about forty or fifty patients a day, I believe he has become much more practical than when I visited his office. I think I was probably one of his first patients, and he naturally made the most out of that. But my second visit was much more satisfying. I got a bad cut from a carving knife in an incident with a goose that had a strong constitution, and I came off worse in that situation. I immediately went with Dr. Benjamin to his small office and put myself in his hands. It was amazing to see how much experience with a variety of cases had changed him. He didn’t ask me any more questions about my hereditary predispositions on my dad’s and mom’s sides. He didn’t examine me with the stethoscope or the laryngoscope either. He just bandaged up my cut and told me it would heal quickly by “first intention”—a strange phrase, but much less intimidating than cutis oenea.
I am afraid I have had something of the French prejudice which embodies itself in the maxim “young surgeon, old physician.” But a young physician who has been taught by great masters of the profession, in ample hospitals, starts in his profession knowing more than some old doctors have learned in a lifetime. Give him a little time to get the use of his wits in emergencies, and to know the little arts that do so much for a patient's comfort,—just as you give a young sailor time to get his sea-legs on and teach his stomach to behave itself,—and he will do well enough.
I'm afraid I've held onto a bit of the French bias that says, “young surgeon, old physician.” However, a young doctor who has learned from the best in the field, in well-equipped hospitals, starts his career knowing more than some older doctors have picked up in their entire careers. Just give him some time to sharpen his skills in emergencies and learn the small tricks that greatly improve a patient's comfort—similar to how you allow a young sailor to find his sea legs and train his stomach to handle the waves—and he will do just fine.
The old Master knows ten times more about this matter and about all the professions, as he does about everything else, than I do. My opinion is that he has studied two, if not three, of these professions in a regular course. I don't know that he has ever preached, except as Charles Lamb said Coleridge always did, for when he gets the bit in his teeth he runs away with the conversation, and if he only took a text his talk would be a sermon; but if he has not preached, he has made a study of theology, as many laymen do. I know he has some shelves of medical books in his library, and has ideas on the subject of the healing art. He confesses to having attended law lectures and having had much intercourse with lawyers. So he has something to say on almost any subject that happens to come up. I told him my story about my visit to the young doctor, and asked him what he thought of youthful practitioners in general and of Dr. Benjamin in particular.
The old Master knows way more about this topic and all the professions, just like he knows about everything else, than I do. I think he’s studied two, if not three, of these professions in depth. I don’t know if he’s ever preached, except like Charles Lamb said Coleridge always did—when he gets going, he takes over the conversation, and if he just had a theme, his talk would turn into a sermon; but even if he hasn’t preached, he’s studied theology, like many laypeople do. I know he has a few shelves of medical books in his library and has ideas about the healing arts. He admits to having attended law lectures and having interacted a lot with lawyers. So he’s got something to say about almost any topic that comes up. I shared my story about my visit to the young doctor and asked him what he thought of young practitioners in general and Dr. Benjamin in particular.
I 'll tell you what,—the Master said,—I know something about these young fellows that come home with their heads full of “science,” as they call it, and stick up their signs to tell people they know how to cure their headaches and stomach-aches. Science is a first-rate piece of furniture for a man's upper chamber, if he has common sense on the ground-floor. But if a man has n't got plenty of good common sense, the more science he has the worse for his patient.
I'll tell you this,—the Master said,—I know a thing or two about these young guys who come back home bragging about their “science,” as they put it, and put up signs claiming they can cure people's headaches and stomachaches. Science is a great asset for a man's mind, as long as he has common sense in the real world. But if a guy lacks good common sense, the more science he has, the worse it is for his patients.
—I don't know that I see exactly how it is worse for the patient,—I said.
—I don't really see how it's worse for the patient,—I said.
—Well, I'll tell you, and you'll find it's a mighty simple matter. When a person is sick, there is always something to be done for him, and done at once. If it is only to open or shut a window, if it is only to tell him to keep on doing just what he is doing already, it wants a man to bring his mind right down to the fact of the present case and its immediate needs. Now the present case, as the doctor sees it, is just exactly such a collection of paltry individual facts as never was before,—a snarl and tangle of special conditions which it is his business to wind as much thread out of as he can. It is a good deal as when a painter goes to take the portrait of any sitter who happens to send for him. He has seen just such noses and just such eyes and just such mouths, but he never saw exactly such a face before, and his business is with that and no other person's,—with the features of the worthy father of a family before him, and not with the portraits he has seen in galleries or books, or Mr. Copley's grand pictures of the fine old Tories, or the Apollos and Jupiters of Greek sculpture. It is the same thing with the patient. His disease has features of its own; there never was and never will be another case in all respects exactly like it. If a doctor has science without common sense, he treats a fever, but not this man's fever. If he has common sense without science, he treats this man's fever without knowing the general laws that govern all fevers and all vital movements. I 'll tell you what saves these last fellows. They go for weakness whenever they see it, with stimulants and strengtheners, and they go for overaction, heat, and high pulse, and the rest, with cooling and reducing remedies. That is three quarters of medical practice. The other quarter wants science and common sense too. But the men that have science only, begin too far back, and, before they get as far as the case in hand, the patient has very likely gone to visit his deceased relatives. You remember Thomas Prince's “Chronological History of New England,” I suppose? He begins, you recollect, with Adam, and has to work down five thousand six hundred and twenty-four years before he gets to the Pilgrim fathers and the Mayflower. It was all very well, only it did n't belong there, but got in the way of something else. So it is with “science” out of place. By far the larger part of the facts of structure and function you find in the books of anatomy and physiology have no immediate application to the daily duties of the practitioner. You must learn systematically, for all that; it is the easiest way and the only way that takes hold of the memory, except mere empirical repetition, like that of the handicraftsman. Did you ever see one of those Japanese figures with the points for acupuncture marked upon it?
—Well, I'll tell you, and you'll see it's pretty simple. When someone is sick, there’s always something that needs to be done for them, and it needs to be done right away. Whether it’s just opening or closing a window, or reminding them to keep doing what they’re already doing, it requires a person to focus on the current situation and its immediate needs. Now, the current situation, as the doctor perceives it, is a collection of minor individual facts like never before—a confusing mix of specific conditions that he needs to untangle as best as he can. It's a lot like when a painter gets called to do a portrait of someone. He’s seen all kinds of noses, eyes, and mouths, but never a face exactly like this one, and his job is to focus on that person and no one else—on the features of the father in front of him, not on the paintings in galleries or books, or Mr. Copley’s grand pictures of the fine old Tories, or the Apollos and Jupiters of Greek sculpture. The same goes for the patient. Their illness has its own unique characteristics; there has never been and will never be another case exactly like it. If a doctor has knowledge without common sense, he treats a fever, but not this particular man’s fever. If he has common sense without knowledge, he treats this man’s fever without understanding the general principles that apply to all fevers and vital functions. What helps those who lack knowledge is that they focus on weakness whenever they see it, using stimulants and strengtheners, and they address overactivity, heat, and high pulse with cooling and reducing remedies. That covers three-quarters of medical practice. The other quarter needs both knowledge and common sense. However, those with only knowledge often start too far back, and by the time they reach the current case, the patient has likely already met their maker. You remember Thomas Prince’s “Chronological History of New England,” right? He starts with Adam and has to go through five thousand six hundred and twenty-four years before getting to the Pilgrim fathers and the Mayflower. It was all fine, but it didn’t belong there and just got in the way of other important things. The same is true for misplaced “science.” Most of the anatomy and physiology facts in books don’t have immediate relevance to the daily tasks of a practitioner. You still have to learn systematically, though; that's the easiest way and the only way that sticks in your memory, aside from just mindless repetition like a craftsman. Have you ever seen one of those Japanese figures with acupuncture points marked on it?
—I had to own that my schooling had left out that piece of information.
—I had to admit that my education had missed that piece of information.
Well, I 'll tell you about it. You see they have a way of pushing long, slender needles into you for the cure of rheumatism and other complaints, and it seems there is a choice of spots for the operation, though it is very strange how little mischief it does in a good many places one would think unsafe to meddle with. So they had a doll made, and marked the spots where they had put in needles without doing any harm. They must have had accidents from sticking the needles into the wrong places now and then, but I suppose they did n't say a great deal about those. After a time, say a few centuries of experience, they had their doll all spotted over with safe places for sticking in the needles. That is their way of registering practical knowledge: We, on the other hand, study the structure of the body as a whole, systematically, and have no difficulty at all in remembering the track of the great vessels and nerves, and knowing just what tracks will be safe and what unsafe. It is just the same thing with the geologists. Here is a man close by us boring for water through one of our ledges, because somebody else got water somewhere else in that way; and a person who knows geology or ought to know it, because he has given his life to it, tells me he might as well bore there for lager-beer as for water.
Well, let me tell you about it. They have a method of inserting long, thin needles into people to treat rheumatism and other issues, and it seems there are specific areas where they do this. It's quite odd how little harm it causes in many spots that one would assume are dangerous to poke around in. So, they created a doll and marked the spots where they had inserted needles without causing any damage. They must have had some accidents from inserting needles in the wrong places occasionally, but I guess they didn't talk much about those. After some time, let's say a few centuries of experience, their doll ended up covered in marks indicating safe spots for inserting needles. That's how they register practical knowledge: We, on the other hand, study the body's structure as a whole systematically, and we have no trouble at all remembering the paths of the major vessels and nerves, knowing which paths are safe and which are not. It's similar with geologists. There's a guy nearby drilling for water through one of our rock layers because someone else found water that way; and a person who knows geology, or should know it since they've dedicated their life to it, tells me he might as well drill there for beer as for water.
—I thought we had had enough of this particular matter, and that I should like to hear what the Master had to say about the three professions he knew something about, each compared with the others.
—I thought we had talked enough about this issue, and I was curious to hear what the Master had to say about the three professions he was familiar with, especially in comparison to each other.
What is your general estimate of doctors, lawyers, and ministers?—said I.
What’s your overall opinion of doctors, lawyers, and ministers?—I asked.
—Wait a minute, till I have got through with your first question,—said the Master.—One thing at a time. You asked me about the young doctors, and about our young doctor. They come home tres biens chausses, as a Frenchman would say, mighty well shod with professional knowledge. But when they begin walking round among their poor patients, they don't commonly start with millionnaires,—they find that their new shoes of scientific acquirements have got to be broken in just like a pair of boots or brogans. I don't know that I have put it quite strong enough. Let me try again. You've seen those fellows at the circus that get up on horseback so big that you wonder how they could climb into the saddle. But pretty soon they throw off their outside coat, and the next minute another one, and then the one under that, and so they keep peeling off one garment after another till people begin to look queer and think they are going too far for strict propriety. Well, that is the way a fellow with a real practical turn serves a good many of his scientific wrappers, flings 'em off for other people to pick up, and goes right at the work of curing stomach-aches and all the other little mean unscientific complaints that make up the larger part of every doctor's business. I think our Dr. Benjamin is a worthy young man, and if you are in need of a doctor at any time I hope you will go to him; and if you come off without harm, I will recommend some other friend to try him.
—Wait a minute, while I answer your first question,—said the Master.—One thing at a time. You asked me about the young doctors, and specifically about our young doctor. They come back well-equipped, as a Frenchman would say, extremely knowledgeable in their field. But when they start interacting with their less fortunate patients, they don’t usually begin with millionaires—they realize that their new scientific knowledge needs to be put into practice just like breaking in a new pair of shoes. I don't know if I've emphasized that strongly enough. Let me put it another way. You’ve seen those performers at the circus who get on horseback and are so large that you wonder how they managed to climb up. But soon enough, they start shedding their outer layers of clothing, one after another, to the point where spectators start to think it’s getting a bit indecent. Well, that’s how a guy with a practical approach handles his scientific knowledge—he sheds those layers for others to pick up, and gets right to the job of treating stomachaches and all the other minor, less scientific issues that make up most of a doctor's work. I believe our Dr. Benjamin is a respectable young man, and if you ever need a doctor, I hope you’ll go to him; and if you come out without any issues, I’ll recommend him to another friend.
—I thought he was going to say he would try him in his own person, but the Master is not fond of committing himself.
—I thought he was going to say he would personally try him, but the Master isn’t keen on putting himself on the line.
Now, I will answer your other question, he said. The lawyers are the cleverest men, the ministers are the most learned, and the doctors are the most sensible.
Now, I’ll answer your other question, he said. The lawyers are the smartest people, the ministers are the most knowledgeable, and the doctors are the most practical.
The lawyers are a picked lot, “first scholars” and the like, but their business is as unsympathetic as Jack Ketch's. There is nothing humanizing in their relations with their fellow-creatures. They go for the side that retains them. They defend the man they know to be a rogue, and not very rarely throw suspicion on the man they know to be innocent. Mind you, I am not finding fault with them; every side of a case has a right to the best statement it admits of; but I say it does not tend to make them sympathetic. Suppose in a case of Fever vs. Patient, the doctor should side with either party according to whether the old miser or his expectant heir was his employer. Suppose the minister should side with the Lord or the Devil, according to the salary offered and other incidental advantages, where the soul of a sinner was in question. You can see what a piece of work it would make of their sympathies. But the lawyers are quicker witted than either of the other professions, and abler men generally. They are good-natured, or, if they quarrel, their quarrels are above-board. I don't think they are as accomplished as the ministers, but they have a way of cramming with special knowledge for a case which leaves a certain shallow sediment of intelligence in their memories about a good many things. They are apt to talk law in mixed company, and they have a way of looking round when they make a point, as if they were addressing a jury, that is mighty aggravating, as I once had occasion to see when one of 'em, and a pretty famous one, put me on the witness-stand at a dinner-party once.
The lawyers are a select group, "top scholars" and so on, but their work is as harsh as Jack Ketch's. There’s nothing warm about their interactions with others. They take the side that hires them. They defend someone they know is a crook, and often cast doubt on the person they know is innocent. Just to be clear, I’m not criticizing them; every side of a case deserves the best defense it can get. But I’m saying it doesn’t help them come off as sympathetic. Imagine in a case like Fever vs. Patient, if the doctor chose sides based on whether the stingy old man or his greedy heir was paying him. Or if the minister sided with either God or the Devil based on the paycheck and other perks, while someone’s soul was at stake. You can see how that would mess up their moral compass. But lawyers are generally sharper than both of the other professions, and often more capable. They’re friendly, or if they do argue, their disputes are straightforward. I don’t think they’re as skilled as ministers, but they have a knack for cramming specific knowledge for a case that leaves a thin layer of knowledge about many topics. They tend to talk law in casual settings, and they have a habit of looking around when they make a point, as if they were addressing a jury, which is really annoying. I experienced this firsthand when one of them, a fairly well-known one, put me on the witness stand at a dinner party once.
The ministers come next in point of talent. They are far more curious and widely interested outside of their own calling than either of the other professions. I like to talk with 'em. They are interesting men, full of good feelings, hard workers, always foremost in good deeds, and on the whole the most efficient civilizing class, working downwards from knowledge to ignorance, that is,—not so much upwards, perhaps,—that we have. The trouble is, that so many of 'em work in harness, and it is pretty sure to chafe somewhere. They feed us on canned meats mostly. They cripple our instincts and reason, and give us a crutch of doctrine. I have talked with a great many of 'em of all sorts of belief, and I don't think they are quite so easy in their minds, the greater number of them; nor so clear in their convictions, as one would think to hear 'em lay down the law in the pulpit. They used to lead the intelligence of their parishes; now they do pretty well if they keep up with it, and they are very apt to lag behind it. Then they must have a colleague. The old minister thinks he can hold to his old course, sailing right into the wind's eye of human nature, as straight as that famous old skipper John Bunyan; the young minister falls off three or four points and catches the breeze that left the old man's sails all shivering. By and by the congregation will get ahead of him, and then it must, have another new skipper. The priest holds his own pretty well; the minister is coming down every generation nearer and nearer to the common level of the useful citizen,—no oracle at all, but a man of more than average moral instincts, who, if he knows anything, knows how little he knows. The ministers are good talkers, only the struggle between nature and grace makes some of 'em a little awkward occasionally. The women do their best to spoil 'em, as they do the poets; you find it very pleasant to be spoiled, no doubt; so do they. Now and then one of 'em goes over the dam; no wonder, they're always in the rapids.
The ministers rank next in talent. They're much more curious and interested in things outside their own field than the other professions. I enjoy talking to them. They’re interesting people, full of good intentions, hard workers, always leading in good deeds, and overall the most effective civilizing group, working from knowledge to ignorance, not so much upwards, perhaps, as we have. The issue is that many of them work in teams, which is bound to cause friction somewhere. They primarily serve us processed foods. They limit our instincts and reasoning, giving us a crutch of doctrine. I've talked with many of them across different beliefs, and I don’t think a lot of them are as confident in their thoughts or as clear in their beliefs as you'd expect to hear them preach. They used to guide the intelligence of their communities; now they're doing well if they just keep pace with it, and they often tend to fall behind. Then they need a partner. The older minister thinks he can stick to his traditional approach, sailing directly against human nature like that famous old sailor John Bunyan; the younger minister veers off a bit and catches the breeze that left the older man’s sails flapping. Eventually, the congregation will move ahead of him, and then he’ll need to find another new leader. The priest tends to maintain his status well; the minister is falling further and further each generation closer to being just an ordinary, useful citizen—no oracle at all, but someone with above-average moral instincts, who, if he knows anything, knows how little he truly understands. The ministers are good speakers; only the clash between nature and virtue makes some of them a bit awkward at times. The women do their best to spoil them, just as they do with poets; I’m sure it feels nice to be spoiled, and so do they. Every now and then, one of them goes off the rails; it’s no surprise, since they’re always navigating through turbulence.
By this time our three ladies had their faces all turned toward the speaker, like the weathercocks in a northeaster, and I thought it best to switch off the talk on to another rail.
By this time, our three ladies had all turned their faces toward the speaker, like weather vanes in a northeast wind, and I thought it best to change the subject to something else.
How about the doctors?—I said.
What about the doctors?—I said.
—Theirs is the least learned of the professions, in this country at least. They have not half the general culture of the lawyers, nor a quarter of that of the ministers. I rather think, though, they are more agreeable to the common run of people than the men with black coats or the men with green bags. People can swear before 'em if they want to, and they can't very well before ministers. I don't care whether they want to swear or not, they don't want to be on their good behavior. Besides, the minister has a little smack of the sexton about him; he comes when people are in extremis, but they don't send for him every time they make a slight moral slip, tell a lie for instance, or smuggle a silk dress through the customhouse; but they call in the doctor when a child is cutting a tooth or gets a splinter in its finger. So it does n't mean much to send for him, only a pleasant chat about the news of the day; for putting the baby to rights does n't take long. Besides, everybody does n't like to talk about the next world; people are modest in their desires, and find this world as good as they deserve; but everybody loves to talk physic. Everybody loves to hear of strange cases; people are eager to tell the doctor of the wonderful cures they have heard of; they want to know what is the matter with somebody or other who is said to be suffering from “a complication of diseases,” and above all to get a hard name, Greek or Latin, for some complaint which sounds altogether too commonplace in plain English. If you will only call a headache a Cephalgia, it acquires dignity at once, and a patient becomes rather proud of it. So I think doctors are generally welcome in most companies.
—Their profession is the least educated of all, at least in this country. They don’t have anywhere near the general knowledge of lawyers, nor even a quarter of what ministers have. But I do think they are more relatable to the average person than those in black suits or those with briefcases. People feel free to express themselves in front of them, which they wouldn’t do in front of ministers. It doesn’t matter if they want to swear or not; they certainly don’t want to be on their best behavior. Furthermore, the minister has a bit of a caretaker vibe; he only shows up when people are at their worst, but they don’t call him every time they make a minor ethical mistake, like telling a lie or smuggling a dress through customs. In contrast, they summon the doctor for a child teething or a splinter in a finger. So calling for the minister doesn’t mean much, just a casual chat about current events; fixing up a baby doesn’t take long. Besides, not everyone wants to discuss the afterlife; people are modest in their aspirations and feel that this life is good enough for them. But everyone loves to talk about medicine. Everyone enjoys hearing about unusual cases; they’re eager to share miraculous recoveries they’ve heard about; they want to know what’s wrong with someone who supposedly has “a complication of diseases,” and most importantly, they want a fancy name in Greek or Latin for something that sounds too ordinary in plain English. If you just call a headache “cephalgia,” it suddenly sounds important, and the patient might even take pride in it. So, I think doctors are usually welcomed in most gatherings.
In old times, when people were more afraid of the Devil and of witches than they are now, they liked to have a priest or a minister somewhere near to scare 'em off; but nowadays, if you could find an old woman that would ride round the room on a broomstick, Barnum would build an amphitheatre to exhibit her in; and if he could come across a young imp, with hoofs, tail, and budding horns, a lineal descendant of one of those “daemons” which the good people of Gloucester fired at, and were fired at by “for the best part of a month together” in the year 1692, the great showman would have him at any cost for his museum or menagerie. Men are cowards, sir, and are driven by fear as the sovereign motive. Men are idolaters, and want something to look at and kiss and hug, or throw themselves down before; they always did, they always will; and if you don't make it of wood, you must make it of words, which are just as much used for idols as promissory notes are used for values. The ministers have a hard time of it without bell and book and holy water; they are dismounted men in armor since Luther cut their saddle-girths, and you can see they are quietly taking off one piece of iron after another until some of the best of 'em are fighting the devil (not the zoological Devil with the big D) with the sword of the Spirit, and precious little else in the way of weapons of offence or defence. But we couldn't get on without the spiritual brotherhood, whatever became of our special creeds. There is a genius for religion, just as there is for painting or sculpture. It is half-sister to the genius for music, and has some of the features which remind us of earthly love. But it lifts us all by its mere presence. To see a good man and hear his voice once a week would be reason enough for building churches and pulpits. The Master stopped all at once, and after about half a minute laughed his pleasant laugh.
In the past, when people were more afraid of the Devil and witches than they are today, they liked to have a priest or minister nearby to scare them away. But these days, if you could find an old woman who would ride around the room on a broomstick, Barnum would build an amphitheater to showcase her. And if he could find a young imp with hooves, a tail, and budding horns, a direct descendant of one of those "daemons" that the good people of Gloucester fired at, and who fired back at them "for the best part of a month" in 1692, the great showman would pay any price to have him for his museum or menagerie. Men are cowards, sir, driven by fear as their main motive. They are idolaters who want something to look at, kiss, hug, or bow down to; they always have, and they always will. If you don't make it out of wood, you must make it out of words, which can serve as idols just as promissory notes represent values. Ministers have a tough job without bells, books, and holy water; they are like dismounted knights in armor since Luther broke their saddle girths, and you can see they are gradually removing one piece of armor after another until some of the best among them are battling the devil (not the zoological Devil with a capital D) with the sword of the Spirit, and not much else in terms of weapons for offense or defense. But we couldn't manage without the spiritual community, no matter what happens to our specific beliefs. There is a talent for religion, just like there is for painting or sculpture. It is closely related to the talent for music and shares some traits that remind us of earthly love. But its mere presence uplifts us all. To see a good person and hear their voice once a week is reason enough to build churches and pulpits. The Master suddenly stopped and after about half a minute, he laughed his pleasant laugh.
What is it?—I asked him.
What is it?—I asked him.
I was thinking of the great coach and team that is carrying us fast enough, I don't know but too fast, somewhere or other. The D. D.'s used to be the leaders, but now they are the wheel-horses. It's pretty hard to tell how much they pull, but we know they can hold back like the—-
I was thinking about the great coach and team that are speeding us along, I don’t know, but it feels too fast, somewhere or other. The D. D.s used to be the leaders, but now they’re just the ones doing the heavy lifting. It’s tough to say how much they’re pulling, but we know they can hold back like the—-
—When we're going down hill,—I said, as neatly as if I had been a High-Church curate trained to snap at the last word of the response, so that you couldn't wedge in the tail of a comma between the end of the congregation's closing syllable and the beginning of the next petition. They do it well, but it always spoils my devotion. To save my life, I can't help watching them, as I watch to see a duck dive at the flash of a gun, and that is not what I go to church for. It is a juggler's trick, and there is no more religion in it than in catching a ball on the fly.
—When we're going downhill,—I said, as precisely as if I were a High-Church priest trained to cut off the last word of the response, so that there wasn't even a hint of a pause between the congregation's final syllable and the start of the next petition. They do it well, but it always ruins my focus. No matter what, I can't help but watch them, just like I watch for a duck to dive when the gun goes off, and that’s not why I go to church. It's like a magic trick, and there’s no more spirituality in it than catching a ball mid-air.
I was looking at our Scheherezade the other day, and thinking what a pity it was that she had never had fair play in the world. I wish I knew more of her history. There is one way of learning it,—making love to her. I wonder whether she would let me and like it. It is an absurd thing, and I ought not to confess, but I tell you and you only, Beloved, my heart gave a perceptible jump when it heard the whisper of that possibility overhead! Every day has its ebb and flow, but such a thought as that is like one of those tidal waves they talk about, that rolls in like a great wall and overtops and drowns out all your landmarks, and you, too, if you don't mind what you are about and stand ready to run or climb or swim. Not quite so bad as that, though, this time. I take an interest in our Scheherezade. I am glad she did n't smile on the pipe and the Bohemian-looking fellow that finds the best part of his life in sucking at it. A fine thing, isn't it; for a young woman to marry a man who will hold her
I was looking at our Scheherezade the other day, and thinking how unfortunate it is that she has never had a fair chance in the world. I wish I knew more about her story. There's one way to find out—by courting her. I wonder if she would be open to it and actually enjoy it. It’s a silly thought, and I shouldn't admit it, but I’m telling you and you alone, Beloved, my heart did a little leap when I considered that possibility! Every day has its ups and downs, but a thought like that is like one of those tidal waves they talk about, that crashes in like a massive wall and sweeps away all your landmarks, and you too, if you’re not careful and ready to run or climb or swim. Not quite that extreme this time, though. I have an interest in our Scheherezade. I’m glad she didn’t take an interest in the guy with the pipe and the Bohemian vibe who seems to find the best part of his life in playing it. A strange thing, isn’t it, for a young woman to marry a man who will hold her?
“Something better than his dog, a little dearer than his horse,”
“Something better than his dog, a little more precious than his horse,”
but not quite so good as his meerschaum? It is n't for me to throw stones, though, who have been a Nicotian a good deal more than half my days. Cigar-stump out now, and consequently have become very bitter on more persevering sinners. I say I take an interest in our Scheherezade, but I rather think it is more paternal than anything else, though my heart did give that jump. It has jumped a good many times without anything very remarkable coming of it.
but it's not quite as good as his meerschaum? I shouldn't judge, though, since I've been a smoker for more than half my life. I've put my cigar out now, and I've become pretty bitter about those who smoke more persistently. I say I care about our Scheherezade, but I think it's more like a paternal feeling than anything else, even though my heart did skip a beat. It's skipped a lot of times without anything special happening.
This visit to the Observatory is going to bring us all, or most of us, together in a new way, and it wouldn't be very odd if some of us should become better acquainted than we ever have been. There is a chance for the elective affinities. What tremendous forces they are, if two subjects of them come within range! There lies a bit of iron. All the dynamic agencies of the universe are pledged to hold it just in that position, and there it will lie until it becomes a heap of red-brown rust. But see, I hold a magnet to it,—it looks to you like just such a bit of iron as the other,—and lo! it leaves them all,—the tugging of the mighty earth; of the ghostly moon that walks in white, trailing the snaky waves of the ocean after her; of the awful sun, twice as large as a sphere that the whole orbit of the moon would but just girdle,—it leaves the wrestling of all their forces, which are at a dead lock with each other, all fighting for it, and springs straight to the magnet. What a lucky thing it is for well-conducted persons that the maddening elective affinities don't come into play in full force very often!
This visit to the Observatory is going to bring us all, or most of us, together in a new way, and it wouldn’t be surprising if some of us get to know each other better than we ever have. There’s a chance for the elective affinities. What incredible forces they are if two subjects of them come close! There’s a piece of iron. All the dynamic forces of the universe are committed to keeping it right in that spot, and it will sit there until it turns into a pile of rusty brown. But look, I hold a magnet up to it—it looks to you like just another piece of iron—and suddenly it abandons them all—the pull of the mighty earth, the ghostly moon gliding in white, trailing the snaky waves of the ocean behind her, the enormous sun, twice as large as a sphere that the entire orbit of the moon would barely reach around—it shakes off the struggle of all their forces, which are at a stalemate, each fighting for it, and moves straight to the magnet. What a fortunate thing it is for well-behaved people that the crazy elective affinities don’t come into play at full force that often!
I suppose I am making a good deal more of our prospective visit than it deserves. It must be because I have got it into my head that we are bound to have some kind of sentimental outbreak amongst us, and that this will give a chance for advances on the part of anybody disposed in that direction. A little change of circumstance often hastens on a movement that has been long in preparation. A chemist will show you a flask containing a clear liquid; he will give it a shake or two, and the whole contents of the flask will become solid in an instant. Or you may lay a little heap of iron-filings on a sheet of paper with a magnet beneath it, and they will be quiet enough as they are, but give the paper a slight jar and the specks of metal will suddenly find their way to the north or the south pole of the magnet and take a definite shape not unpleasing to contemplate, and curiously illustrating the laws of attraction, antagonism, and average, by which the worlds, conscious and unconscious, are alike governed. So with our little party, with any little party of persons who have got used to each other; leave them undisturbed and they might remain in a state of equilibrium forever; but let anything give them a shake or a jar, and the long-striving but hindered affinities come all at once into play and finish the work of a year in five minutes.
I guess I'm making a bigger deal out of our upcoming visit than it really deserves. I think it’s because I have it in my head that we’re bound to have some sort of emotional moment together, and that this will create opportunities for people who might want to connect. A small change in our situation can often speed up a process that’s been a long time coming. A chemist might show you a flask with a clear liquid; after shaking it a few times, the entire contents suddenly solidify. Or you could put a small pile of iron filings on a sheet of paper with a magnet underneath; they’ll stay still, but if you give the paper a little shake, the tiny bits of metal will quickly align themselves toward the magnet's poles and form a nice pattern, illustrating the laws of attraction, opposition, and balance that govern both conscious and unconscious worlds. The same goes for our little group, or any group of people who are accustomed to each other; if you leave them alone, they could stay in a comfortable balance forever, but if something shakes them up, the long-ignored connections suddenly come into play, completing what could have taken a year in just five minutes.
We were all a good deal excited by the anticipation of this visit. The Capitalist, who for the most part keeps entirely to himself, seemed to take an interest in it and joined the group in the parlor who were making arrangements as to the details of the eventful expedition, which was very soon to take place. The Young Girl was full of enthusiasm; she is one of those young persons, I think, who are impressible, and of necessity depressible when their nervous systems are overtasked, but elastic, recovering easily from mental worries and fatigues, and only wanting a little change of their conditions to get back their bloom and cheerfulness. I could not help being pleased to see how much of the child was left in her, after all the drudgery she had been through. What is there that youth will not endure and triumph over? Here she was; her story for the week was done in good season; she had got rid of her villain by a new and original catastrophe; she had received a sum of money for an extra string of verses,—painfully small, it is true, but it would buy her a certain ribbon she wanted for the great excursion; and now her eyes sparkled so that I forgot how tired and hollow they sometimes looked when she had been sitting up half the night over her endless manuscript.
We were all really excited about this visit. The Capitalist, who usually keeps to himself, seemed to be interested and joined the group in the parlor making plans for the upcoming adventure. The Young Girl was full of enthusiasm; she’s one of those young people who are impressionable and prone to feeling down when stressed, but resilient, quickly bouncing back from mental strain and fatigue, and just needing a little change to regain her cheerfulness and energy. I couldn’t help but feel pleased to see how much of her youthful spirit remained after all the hard work she had done. What can youth not endure and overcome? Here she was; her weekly story was completed on time; she had dealt with her antagonist in a creative and unique way; she had received a small payment for an extra string of verses—though it was painfully little, it would buy her a ribbon she wanted for the big trip; and now her eyes sparkled so much that I forgot how tired and hollow they sometimes looked after she had spent half the night on her never-ending manuscript.
The morning of the day we had looked forward to—promised as good an evening as we could wish. The Capitalist, whose courteous and bland demeanor would never have suggested the thought that he was a robber and an enemy of his race, who was to be trampled underfoot by the beneficent regenerators of the social order as preliminary to the universal reign of peace on earth and good-will to men, astonished us all with a proposal to escort the three ladies and procure a carriage for their conveyance. The Lady thanked him in a very cordial way, but said she thought nothing of the walk. The Landlady looked disappointed at this answer. For her part she was on her legs all day and should be glad enough to ride, if so be he was going to have a carriage at any rate. It would be a sight pleasanter than to trudge afoot, but she would n't have him go to the expense on her account. Don't mention it, madam,—r—said the Capitalist, in a generous glow of enthusiasm. As for the Young Girl, she did not often get a chance for a drive, and liked the idea of it for its own sake, as children do, and she insisted that the Lady should go in the carriage with her. So it was settled that the Capitalist should take the three ladies in a carriage, and the rest of us go on foot.
The morning of the day we had been looking forward to promised as nice an evening as we could hope for. The Capitalist, whose polite and friendly nature wouldn’t have made anyone think he was a thief and an enemy of his kind, who was meant to be trampled by the kind reformers of society as a first step toward lasting peace and goodwill, surprised us all with a suggestion to escort the three ladies and get a carriage for them. The Lady thanked him warmly but said she didn’t mind walking. The Landlady looked disappointed by this response. She had been on her feet all day and would have appreciated a ride, especially if he was getting a carriage anyway. It would definitely be nicer than walking, but she didn’t want him to spend money just for her. “Don’t mention it, madam,” said the Capitalist, filled with a generous spirit. As for the Young Girl, she didn’t often get a chance to ride, and she liked the idea for its own sake, just like kids do, and she insisted that the Lady should join her in the carriage. So it was decided that the Capitalist would take the three ladies in a carriage, and the rest of us would go on foot.
The evening behaved as it was bound to do on so momentous an occasion. The Capitalist was dressed with almost suspicious nicety. We pedestrians could not help waiting to see them off, and I thought he handed the ladies into the carriage with the air of a French marquis.
The evening unfolded just as it was expected to on such an important occasion. The Capitalist was dressed with an almost excessive flair. We bystanders couldn’t help but wait to see them off, and I felt he assisted the ladies into the carriage with the elegance of a French marquis.
I walked with Dr. Benjamin and That Boy, and we had to keep the little imp on the trot a good deal of the way in order not to be too long behind the carriage party. The Member of the Haouse walked with our two dummies,—I beg their pardon, I mean the Register of Deeds and the Salesman.
I walked with Dr. Benjamin and That Boy, and we had to keep the little troublemaker moving a lot of the way to avoid falling too far behind the carriage group. The Member of the House walked with our two dummies—I apologize, I mean the Register of Deeds and the Salesman.
The Man of Letters, hypothetically so called, walked by himself, smoking a short pipe which was very far from suggesting the spicy breezes that blow soft from Ceylon's isle.
The Man of Letters, so-called in theory, walked alone, smoking a short pipe that definitely did not evoke the fragrant breezes that blow gently from Ceylon's island.
I suppose everybody who reads this paper has visited one or more observatories, and of course knows all about them. But as it may hereafter be translated into some foreign tongue and circulated among barbarous, but rapidly improving people, people who have as yet no astronomers among them, it may be well to give a little notion of what kind of place an observatory is.
I guess everyone reading this paper has been to one or more observatories and knows all about them. However, since it might eventually be translated into another language and shared with less advanced, but quickly improving societies that don't have astronomers yet, it might be useful to provide a brief idea of what an observatory is like.
To begin then: a deep and solid stone foundation is laid in the earth, and a massive pier of masonry is built up on it. A heavy block of granite forms the summit of this pier, and on this block rests the equatorial telescope. Around this structure a circular tower is built, with two or more floors which come close up to the pier, but do not touch it at any point. It is crowned with a hemispherical dome, which, I may remark, half realizes the idea of my egg-shell studio. This dome is cleft from its base to its summit by a narrow, ribbon-like opening, through which is seen the naked sky. It revolves on cannon-balls, so easily that a single hand can move it, and thus the opening may be turned towards any point of the compass. As the telescope can be raised or depressed so as to be directed to any elevation from the horizon to the zenith, and turned around the entire circle with the dome, it can be pointed to any part of the heavens. But as the star or other celestial object is always apparently moving, in consequence of the real rotatory movement of the earth, the telescope is made to follow it automatically by an ingenious clock-work arrangement. No place, short of the temple of the living God, can be more solemn. The jars of the restless life around it do not disturb the serene intelligence of the half-reasoning apparatus. Nothing can stir the massive pier but the shocks that shake the solid earth itself. When an earthquake thrills the planet, the massive turret shudders with the shuddering rocks on which it rests, but it pays no heed to the wildest tempest, and while the heavens are convulsed and shut from the eye of the far-seeing instrument it waits without a tremor for the blue sky to come back. It is the type of the true and steadfast man of the Roman poet, whose soul remains unmoved while the firmament cracks and tumbles about him. It is the material image of the Christian; his heart resting on the Rock of Ages, his eye fixed on the brighter world above.
To start with: a strong and sturdy stone foundation is laid in the ground, and a large masonry pier is built on top of it. A heavy block of granite sits at the top of this pier, and the equatorial telescope rests on this block. Around this structure, a circular tower is built, featuring two or more layers that come close to the pier but don’t touch it at any point. It's topped with a hemispherical dome, which, I should mention, partially fulfills the idea of my egg-shell studio. This dome is split from its base to its top by a narrow, ribbon-like opening that reveals the open sky. It rotates on cannonballs so smoothly that a single hand can move it, allowing the opening to be pointed in any direction. Since the telescope can be raised or lowered to aim from the horizon to the zenith and rotated around the whole dome, it can target any section of the sky. However, as stars or celestial objects always seem to be moving because of the Earth's actual rotation, the telescope is designed to track them automatically through a smart clockwork mechanism. No place, aside from the temple of the living God, is more solemn. The noise of the restless life around it doesn’t disturb the calm intelligence of the semi-reasoning device. Nothing can shake the massive pier except for the tremors that rock the solid ground itself. When an earthquake jolts the planet, the sturdy turret shakes along with the trembling rocks beneath it, but it ignores the fiercest storm, waiting without flinching for the blue sky to return when the heavens are chaotic and obscured from the view of the far-seeing instrument. It exemplifies the true and steadfast man described by the Roman poet, whose spirit remains unshaken while the sky cracks and falls around him. It serves as the material representation of the Christian; his heart anchored on the Rock of Ages, his gaze set on the brighter world above.
I did not say all this while we were looking round among these wonders, quite new to many of us. People don't talk in straight-off sentences like that. They stumble and stop, or get interrupted, change a word, begin again, miss connections of verbs and nouns, and so on, till they blunder out their meaning. But I did let fall a word or two, showing the impression the celestial laboratory produced upon me. I rather think I must own to the “Rock of Ages” comparison. Thereupon the “Man of Letters,” so called, took his pipe from his mouth, and said that he did n't go in “for sentiment and that sort of thing. Gush was played out.”
I didn’t say all this while we were exploring these amazing sights, which were totally new to many of us. People don’t talk in clear, straightforward sentences like that. They trip over their words, get interrupted, switch words, start over, lose track of their nouns and verbs, and so on, until they manage to express what they mean. But I did drop a word or two, hinting at how the heavenly lab impressed me. I think I might have mentioned the “Rock of Ages” comparison. Then the so-called “Man of Letters” took his pipe out of his mouth and said he wasn’t into “sentiment and that sort of thing. Gush was outdated.”
The Member of the Haouse, who, as I think, is not wanting in that homely good sense which one often finds in plain people from the huckleberry districts, but who evidently supposes the last speaker to be what he calls “a tahlented mahn,” looked a little puzzled. My remark seemed natural and harmless enough to him, I suppose, but I had been distinctly snubbed, and the Member of the Haouse thought I must defend myself, as is customary in the deliberative body to which he belongs, when one gentleman accuses another gentleman of mental weakness or obliquity. I could not make up my mind to oblige him at that moment by showing fight. I suppose that would have pleased my assailant, as I don't think he has a great deal to lose, and might have made a little capital out of me if he could have got a laugh out of the Member or either of the dummies,—I beg their pardon again, I mean the two undemonstrative boarders. But I will tell you, Beloved, just what I think about this matter.
The Member of the House, who I believe has that practical common sense often found in straightforward people from humble backgrounds, seemed a bit confused. My comment probably seemed natural and harmless to him, but I had definitely been dismissed, and the Member of the House thought I should stand my ground, as is typical in the assembly he belongs to, when one person questions another’s intelligence or integrity. I wasn’t ready to confront him at that moment. I figured that would satisfy my attacker, as he probably didn't have much to lose and might have gained some traction if he could get a laugh from the Member or either of the quiet boarders—I apologize again, I mean the two reserved tenants. But let me tell you, Beloved, exactly what I think about this situation.
We poets, you know, are much given to indulging in sentiment, which is a mode of consciousness at a discount just now with the new generation of analysts who are throwing everything into their crucibles. Now we must not claim too much for sentiment. It does not go a great way in deciding questions of arithmetic, or algebra, or geometry. Two and two will undoubtedly make four, irrespective of the emotions or other idiosyncrasies of the calculator; and the three angles of a triangle insist on being equal to two right angles, in the face of the most impassioned rhetoric or the most inspired verse. But inasmuch as religion and law and the whole social order of civilized society, to say nothing of literature and art, are so founded on and pervaded by sentiment that they would all go to pieces without it, it is a word not to be used too lightly in passing judgment, as if it were an element to be thrown out or treated with small consideration. Reason may be the lever, but sentiment gives you the fulcrum and the place to stand on if you want to move the world. Even “sentimentality,” which is sentiment overdone, is better than that affectation of superiority to human weakness which is only tolerable as one of the stage properties of full-blown dandyism, and is, at best, but half-blown cynicism; which participle and noun you can translate, if you happen to remember the derivation of the last of them, by a single familiar word. There is a great deal of false sentiment in the world, as there is of bad logic and erroneous doctrine; but—it is very much less disagreeable to hear a young poet overdo his emotions, or even deceive himself about them, than to hear a caustic-epithet flinger repeating such words as “sentimentality” and “entusymusy,”—one of the least admirable of Lord Byron's bequests to our language,—for the purpose of ridiculing him into silence. An overdressed woman is not so pleasing as she might be, but at any rate she is better than the oil of vitriol squirter, whose profession it is to teach young ladies to avoid vanity by spoiling their showy silks and satins.
We poets, as you know, tend to indulge in sentiment, which is considered pretty outdated right now by the new generation of analysts who are scrutinizing everything. But we shouldn’t overstate the value of sentiment. It doesn't really help much when it comes to solving problems in arithmetic, algebra, or geometry. Two plus two will always equal four, regardless of the feelings or quirks of the person calculating it; and the three angles of a triangle will always equal two right angles, no matter how passionate the argument or how inspired the poem. However, since religion, law, and the entire social structure of civilized society—along with literature and art—are deeply rooted in sentiment, and would crumble without it, we shouldn’t dismiss the term lightly when passing judgment. Reason may be the lever, but sentiment gives you the fulcrum and the footing if you want to change the world. Even "sentimentality," which is just sentiment taken too far, is better than that smugness that looks down on human flaws, which is only somewhat acceptable as a theatrical prop in complete dandyism and is, at best, just half-hearted cynicism; you can translate that last word easily if you remember its origins. There’s a lot of false sentiment out there, just like there’s bad logic and incorrect beliefs; but it’s much less bothersome to listen to a young poet exaggerating their feelings or even fooling themselves about them than to hear a critic tossing around terms like “sentimentality” and “enthusiasm”—one of Lord Byron's less admirable contributions to our language—just to mock them into silence. A woman dressed too elaborately might not be as appealing as she could be, but at least she’s better than the sour critics who aim to teach young women to shun vanity by ruining their fancy outfits.
The Lady was the first of our party who was invited to look through the equatorial. Perhaps this world had proved so hard to her that she was pained to think that other worlds existed, to be homes of suffering and sorrow. Perhaps she was thinking it would be a happy change when she should leave this dark planet for one of those brighter spheres. She sighed, at any rate, but thanked the Young Astronomer for the beautiful sights he had shown her, and gave way to the next comer, who was That Boy, now in a state of irrepressible enthusiasm to see the Man in the Moon. He was greatly disappointed at not making out a colossal human figure moving round among the shining summits and shadowy ravines of the “spotty globe.”
The Lady was the first in our group to be invited to look through the telescope. Maybe this world had been so difficult for her that the thought of other worlds, filled with suffering and sorrow, was painful. Perhaps she was hoping that leaving this dark planet for one of those brighter ones would bring her happiness. She sighed, but still thanked the Young Astronomer for the amazing views he had shown her, and she stepped aside for the next person, who was That Boy, now bursting with excitement to see the Man in the Moon. He was really disappointed that he couldn’t make out a giant human figure moving around among the bright peaks and shadowy valleys of the “spotty globe.”
The Landlady came next and wished to see the moon also, in preference to any other object. She was astonished at the revelations of the powerful telescope. Was there any live creatures to be seen on the moon? she asked. The Young Astronomer shook his head, smiling a little at the question.—Was there any meet'n'-houses? There was no evidence, he said, that the moon was inhabited. As there did not seem to be either air or water on its surface, the inhabitants would have a rather hard time of it, and if they went to meeting the sermons would be apt to be rather dry. If there were a building on it as big as York minster, as big as the Boston Coliseum, the great telescopes like Lord Rosse's would make it out. But it seemed to be a forlorn place; those who had studied it most agreed in considering it a “cold, crude, silent, and desolate” ruin of nature, without the possibility, if life were on it, of articulate speech, of music, even of sound. Sometimes a greenish tint was seen upon its surface, which might have been taken for vegetation, but it was thought not improbably to be a reflection from the vast forests of South America. The ancients had a fancy, some of them, that the face of the moon was a mirror in which the seas and shores of the earth were imaged. Now we know the geography of the side toward us about as well as that of Asia, better than that of Africa. The Astronomer showed them one of the common small photographs of the moon. He assured them that he had received letters inquiring in all seriousness if these alleged lunar photographs were not really taken from a peeled orange. People had got angry with him for laughing at them for asking such a question. Then he gave them an account of the famous moon-hoax which came out, he believed, in 1835. It was full of the most bare-faced absurdities, yet people swallowed it all, and even Arago is said to have treated it seriously as a thing that could not well be true, for Mr. Herschel would have certainly notified him of these marvellous discoveries. The writer of it had not troubled himself to invent probabilities, but had borrowed his scenery from the Arabian Nights and his lunar inhabitants from Peter Wilkins.
The Landlady came next and wanted to see the moon too, rather than anything else. She was amazed by what the powerful telescope revealed. "Are there any living creatures on the moon?" she asked. The Young Astronomer shook his head, smirking a bit at the question. "Are there any meeting houses?" There was no evidence, he said, that the moon was inhabited. Since it didn’t seem to have any air or water on its surface, the inhabitants would have a tough time, and if they held meetings, the sermons would likely be pretty dull. Even if there were a building as big as York Minster or the Boston Coliseum on it, great telescopes like Lord Rosse's would definitely see it. But it looked like a lonely place; those who have studied it agreed it was a “cold, crude, silent, and desolate” wreck of nature, without the possibility of meaningful speech, music, or even sound if life existed there. Sometimes a greenish tint appeared on its surface, which could have been thought to be vegetation, but it was probably just a reflection from the vast forests of South America. Some ancient people fancied that the moon’s face was a mirror reflecting the oceans and shores of the Earth. Now, we know the geography of the side facing us about as well as we know Asia and better than Africa. The Astronomer showed them one of the common small photographs of the moon. He assured them that he had received letters asking seriously whether these supposed lunar photographs were actually taken from a peeled orange. People had gotten upset with him for laughing at them for asking such a question. Then he told them about the famous moon hoax that came out, he believed, in 1835. It was full of the most ridiculous absurdities, yet people bought it all, and even Arago is said to have taken it seriously as something that couldn’t be true, because Mr. Herschel would have surely notified him of these amazing discoveries. The writer hadn’t bothered to create any probabilities, but borrowed his scenes from the Arabian Nights and his lunar inhabitants from Peter Wilkins.
After this lecture the Capitalist stepped forward and applied his eye to the lens. I suspect it to have been shut most of the time, for I observe a good many elderly people adjust the organ of vision to any optical instrument in that way. I suppose it is from the instinct of protection to the eye, the same instinct as that which makes the raw militia-man close it when he pulls the trigger of his musket the first time. He expressed himself highly gratified, however, with what he saw, and retired from the instrument to make room for the Young Girl.
After the lecture, the Capitalist stepped up and put his eye to the lens. I think it was probably closed most of the time because I see a lot of older people do that when adjusting to any optical device. I guess it’s just a protective instinct for the eye, like how a rookie soldier shuts it when he pulls the trigger on his musket for the first time. Nonetheless, he said he was really pleased with what he saw and stepped back to let the Young Girl take her turn.
She threw her hair back and took her position at the instrument. Saint Simeon Stylites the Younger explained the wonders of the moon to her,—Tycho and the grooves radiating from it, Kepler and Copernicus with their craters and ridges, and all the most brilliant shows of this wonderful little world. I thought he was more diffuse and more enthusiastic in his descriptions than he had been with the older members of the party. I don't doubt the old gentleman who lived so long on the top of his pillar would have kept a pretty sinner (if he could have had an elevator to hoist her up to him) longer than he would have kept her grandmother. These young people are so ignorant, you know. As for our Scheherezade, her delight was unbounded, and her curiosity insatiable. If there were any living creatures there, what odd things they must be. They could n't have any lungs, nor any hearts. What a pity! Did they ever die? How could they expire if they didn't breathe? Burn up? No air to burn in. Tumble into some of those horrid pits, perhaps, and break all to bits. She wondered how the young people there liked it, or whether there were any young people there; perhaps nobody was young and nobody was old, but they were like mummies all of them—what an idea —two mummies making love to each other! So she went on in a rattling, giddy kind of way, for she was excited by the strange scene in which she found herself, and quite astonished the Young Astronomer with her vivacity. All at once she turned to him.
She tossed her hair back and took her place at the instrument. Saint Simeon Stylites the Younger explained the wonders of the moon to her—Tycho and the grooves radiating from it, Kepler and Copernicus with their craters and ridges, and all the incredible displays of this amazing little world. I thought he was more talkative and more excited in his descriptions than he had been with the older members of the group. I’m sure the old gentleman who spent so long on top of his pillar would have kept a pretty girl (if he could have had an elevator to lift her up to him) longer than he would have kept her grandmother. These young people are so clueless, you know. As for our Scheherezade, her joy was limitless, and her curiosity was endless. If there were any living beings up there, they must be so strange. They couldn't have lungs or hearts. What a shame! Did they ever die? How could they pass away if they didn’t breathe? Burn up? There’s no air to burn. Maybe they fell into some of those awful pits and broke into pieces. She wondered how the young people there felt about it, or if there were any young people at all; maybe no one was young and no one was old, but they were all like mummies—what a thought—two mummies being in love with each other! So she kept rambling on in a lively, dizzy way, excited by the bizarre scene she found herself in, completely surprising the Young Astronomer with her energy. Suddenly, she turned to him.
Will you show me the double star you said I should see?
Will you show me the double star you mentioned I should check out?
With the greatest pleasure,—he said, and proceeded to wheel the ponderous dome, and then to adjust the instrument, I think to the one in Andromeda, or that in Cygnus, but I should not know one of them from the other.
"With immense pleasure," he said, and then began to move the heavy dome, followed by adjusting the instrument. I believe it was set to the one in Andromeda or the one in Cygnus, but honestly, I wouldn't be able to tell them apart.
How beautiful!—she said as she looked at the wonderful object.—One is orange red and one is emerald green.
How beautiful!—she said as she gazed at the amazing object.—One is orange-red and the other is emerald green.
The young man made an explanation in which he said something about complementary colors.
The young man gave an explanation about complementary colors.
Goodness!—exclaimed the Landlady.—What! complimentary to our party?
"Wow!" the Landlady exclaimed. "What! Are you complimenting our group?"
Her wits must have been a good deal confused by the strange sights of the evening. She had seen tickets marked complimentary, she remembered, but she could not for the life of her understand why our party should be particularly favored at a celestial exhibition like this. On the whole, she questioned inwardly whether it might not be some subtle pleasantry, and smiled, experimentally, with a note of interrogation in the smile, but, finding no encouragement, allowed her features to subside gradually as if nothing had happened. I saw all this as plainly as if it had all been printed in great-primer type, instead of working itself out in her features. I like to see other people muddled now and then, because my own occasional dulness is relieved by a good solid background of stupidity in my neighbors.
Her mind must have been pretty confused by the strange sights of the evening. She remembered seeing tickets labeled complimentary, but she couldn’t understand why our group would be singled out at an event like this. Overall, she wondered inwardly if it might be some kind of joke, and smiled, hesitantly, with a hint of curiosity in her smile. But when she found no encouragement, her expression gradually settled back as if nothing had happened. I noticed all of this as clearly as if it had been printed in large type, instead of playing out on her face. I like to see other people puzzled now and then because my own occasional confusion feels less burdensome when my neighbors are also struggling to understand.
—And the two revolve round each other?—said the Young Girl.
—So they go around each other?—said the Young Girl.
—Yes,—he answered,—two suns, a greater and a less, each shining, but with a different light, for the other.
—Yeah,—he replied,—two suns, a bigger one and a smaller one, both shining, but with different light for each other.
—How charming! It must be so much pleasanter than to be alone in such a great empty space! I should think one would hardly care to shine if its light wasted itself in the monstrous solitude of the sky. Does not a single star seem very lonely to you up there?
—How lovely! It must be so much nicer than being alone in such a vast empty space! I would think no one would want to shine if their light just faded away into the huge emptiness of the sky. Doesn't a single star seem really lonely up there to you?
—Not more lonely than I am myself,—answered the Young Astronomer.
—Not any lonelier than I am myself,—answered the Young Astronomer.
—I don't know what there was in those few words, but I noticed that for a minute or two after they, were uttered I heard the ticking of the clock-work that moved the telescope as clearly as if we had all been holding our breath, and listening for the music of the spheres.
—I don't know what it was about those few words, but I noticed that for a minute or two after they were said, I could hear the ticking of the clockwork that moved the telescope as clearly as if we were all holding our breath, listening for the music of the spheres.
The Young Girl kept her eye closely applied to the eye-piece of the telescope a very long time, it seemed to me. Those double stars interested her a good deal, no doubt. When she looked off from the glass I thought both her eyes appeared very much as if they had been a little strained, for they were suffused and glistening. It may be that she pitied the lonely young man.
The Young Girl kept her eye pressed against the telescope for what felt like a long time. Those double stars really seemed to fascinate her. When she finally looked away from the lens, I noticed that both her eyes looked a bit strained, as they were watery and shiny. Maybe she felt sorry for the lonely young man.
I know nothing in the world tenderer than the pity that a kind-hearted young girl has for a young man who feels lonely. It is true that these dear creatures are all compassion for every form of human woe, and anxious to alleviate all human misfortunes. They will go to Sunday-schools through storms their brothers are afraid of, to teach the most unpleasant and intractable classes of little children the age of Methuselah and the dimensions of Og the King of Bashan's bedstead. They will stand behind a table at a fair all day until they are ready to drop, dressed in their prettiest clothes and their sweetest smiles, and lay hands upon you, like—so many Lady Potiphars,—perfectly correct ones, of course,—to make you buy what you do not want, at prices which you cannot afford; all this as cheerfully as if it were not martyrdom to them as well as to you. Such is their love for all good objects, such their eagerness to sympathize with all their suffering fellow-creatures! But there is nothing they pity as they pity a lonely young man.
I know nothing in the world more tender than the pity a kind-hearted young girl feels for a lonely young man. It's true that these dear souls are full of compassion for every kind of human suffering and are eager to help ease others’ misfortunes. They will brave storms to attend Sunday school, even when their brothers are too scared to go, just to teach the most challenging and unruly classes of little kids. They’ll spend all day at a fair, ready to drop, dressed in their best outfits and flashing their sweetest smiles, trying to coax you into buying things you don’t want at prices you can’t afford; all of this as cheerfully as if it weren’t a struggle for them as well as for you. Such is their love for worthy causes and their eagerness to empathize with all their suffering fellow beings! But there’s nothing they pity quite like a lonely young man.
I am sure, I sympathize with her in this instance. To see a pale student burning away, like his own midnight lamp, with only dead men's hands to hold, stretched out to him from the sepulchres of books, and dead men's souls imploring him from their tablets to warm them over again just for a little while in a human consciousness, when all this time there are soft, warm, living hands that would ask nothing better than to bring the blood back into those cold thin fingers, and gently caressing natures that would wind all their tendrils about the unawakened heart which knows so little of itself, is pitiable enough and would be sadder still if we did not have the feeling that sooner or later the pale student will be pretty sure to feel the breath of a young girl against his cheek as she looks over his shoulder; and that he will come all at once to an illuminated page in his book that never writer traced in characters, and never printer set up in type, and never binder enclosed within his covers! But our young man seems farther away from life than any student whose head is bent downwards over his books. His eyes are turned away from all human things. How cold the moonlight is that falls upon his forehead, and how white he looks in it! Will not the rays strike through to his brain at last, and send him to a narrower cell than this egg-shell dome which is his workshop and his prison?
I definitely feel for her in this situation. It's tough to see a pale student working so hard, burning the midnight oil, and only getting support from the long-gone, reaching out to him from the graves of books, while the spirits of those dead implore him from their monuments to revive them, even just for a moment, in a human mind. Meanwhile, there are warm, living hands that would do anything to bring life back to those cold, thin fingers, and gentle, nurturing souls that would wrap their tendrils around his unawakened heart, which knows so little about itself. It’s truly sad, and it would be even more heartbreaking if we didn’t have the hope that eventually the pale student will feel a young girl’s breath on his cheek as she leans over his shoulder; that he will suddenly discover an illuminated page in his book that no writer ever created in words, no printer ever set in type, and no binder ever enclosed within covers! But this young man seems farther from life than any student buried in his books. His eyes are averted from all human connections. The moonlight is so cold as it falls on his forehead, and he looks so pale in it! Will the rays finally penetrate to his brain and lead him to a smaller prison than this fragile dome that is both his workshop and his confinement?
I cannot say that the Young Astronomer seemed particularly impressed with a sense of his miserable condition. He said he was lonely, it is true, but he said it in a manly tone, and not as if he were repining at the inevitable condition of his devoting himself to that particular branch of science. Of course, he is lonely, the most lonely being that lives in the midst of our breathing world. If he would only stay a little longer with us when we get talking; but he is busy almost always either in observation or with his calculations and studies, and when the nights are fair loses so much sleep that he must make it up by day. He wants contact with human beings. I wish he would change his seat and come round and sit by our Scheherezade!
I can't say that the Young Astronomer seemed particularly aware of his miserable condition. He mentioned feeling lonely, it's true, but he said it in a manly way, not like he was complaining about the inevitable choice he made to focus on that branch of science. Of course, he is lonely, the loneliest person living in the midst of our thriving world. If only he would stay a little longer with us when we start talking; but he’s almost always busy with observations or his calculations and studies, and on clear nights he loses so much sleep that he has to catch up during the day. He craves connection with other people. I wish he would change his seat and come over to sit by our Scheherezade!
The rest of the visit went off well enough, except that the “Man of Letters,” so called, rather snubbed some of the heavenly bodies as not quite up to his standard of brilliancy. I thought myself that the double-star episode was the best part of it.
The rest of the visit went pretty well, except that the so-called “Man of Letters” kind of dismissed some of the heavenly bodies for not meeting his standards of brilliance. I thought the double-star episode was the best part of it.
I have an unexpected revelation to make to the reader. Not long after our visit to the Observatory, the Young Astronomer put a package into my hands, a manuscript, evidently, which he said he would like to have me glance over. I found something in it which interested me, and told him the next day that I should like to read it with some care. He seemed rather pleased at this, and said that he wished I would criticise it as roughly as I liked, and if I saw anything in it which might be dressed to better advantage to treat it freely, just as if it were my own production. It had often happened to him, he went on to say, to be interrupted in his observations by clouds covering the objects he was examining for a longer or shorter time. In these idle moments he had put down many thoughts, unskilfully he feared, but just as they came into his mind. His blank verse he suspected was often faulty. His thoughts he knew must be crude, many of them. It would please him to have me amuse myself by putting them into shape. He was kind enough to say that I was an artist in words, but he held himself as an unskilled apprentice.
I have an unexpected revelation to share with the reader. Shortly after our visit to the Observatory, the Young Astronomer handed me a package, clearly a manuscript, and asked if I could take a look at it. I found something in it that caught my interest and told him the next day that I wanted to read it more carefully. He seemed quite pleased and encouraged me to critique it as harshly as I wanted. If I noticed anything that could be improved, he wanted me to treat it like it was my own work. He mentioned that he often got interrupted during his observations by clouds obscuring the objects he was examining for varying lengths of time. In those idle moments, he wrote down many thoughts, which he worried were clumsy, but he captured them as they came to him. He suspected his blank verse was often flawed and admitted that many of his ideas were rough. He would be glad if I took the time to reshape them. He was kind enough to say that I was an artist with words, while he considered himself an unskilled apprentice.
I confess I was appalled when I cast my eye upon the title of the manuscript, “Cirri and Nebulae.”
I admit I was shocked when I saw the title of the manuscript, “Cirri and Nebulae.”
—Oh! oh!—I said,—that will never do. People don't know what Cirri are, at least not one out of fifty readers. “Wind-Clouds and Star-Drifts” will do better than that.
—Oh! oh!—I said,—that won’t work. People don’t know what Cirri are, at least not one in fifty readers. “Wind-Clouds and Star-Drifts” will be better than that.
—Anything you like,—he answered,—what difference does it make how you christen a foundling? These are not my legitimate scientific offspring, and you may consider them left on your doorstep.
—Anything you want,—he replied,—what does it matter what you call a foundling? These aren’t my legitimate scientific children, and you can think of them as having been dropped off at your door.
—I will not attempt to say just how much of the diction of these lines belongs to him, and how much to me. He said he would never claim them, after I read them to him in my version. I, on my part, do not wish to be held responsible for some of his more daring thoughts, if I should see fit to reproduce them hereafter. At this time I shall give only the first part of the series of poetical outbreaks for which the young devotee of science must claim his share of the responsibility. I may put some more passages into shape by and by.
—I won't try to specify how much of the wording in these lines is his and how much is mine. He said he wouldn't take credit for them after I read my version to him. As for me, I don't want to be held accountable for some of his bolder ideas if I decide to share them later. For now, I will only present the first part of the series of poetic expressions for which the young science enthusiast must shoulder some responsibility. I may refine a few more passages later on.
WIND-CLOUDS AND STAR-DRIFTS. I Another clouded night; the stars are hid, The orb that waits my search is hid with them. Patience! Why grudge an hour, a month, a year, To plant my ladder and to gain the round That leads my footsteps to the heaven of fame, Where waits the wreath my sleepless midnights won? Not the stained laurel such as heroes wear That withers when some stronger conqueror's heel Treads down their shrivelling trophies in the dust; But the fair garland whose undying green Not time can change, nor wrath of gods or men! With quickened heart-beats I shall hear the tongues That speak my praise; but better far the sense That in the unshaped ages, buried deep In the dark mines of unaccomplished time Yet to be stamped with morning's royal die And coined in golden days,—in those dim years I shall be reckoned with the undying dead, My name emblazoned on the fiery arch, Unfading till the stars themselves shall fade. Then, as they call the roll of shining worlds, Sages of race unborn in accents new Shall count me with the Olympian ones of old, Whose glories kindle through the midnight sky Here glows the God of Battles; this recalls The Lord of Ocean, and yon far-off sphere The Sire of Him who gave his ancient name To the dim planet with the wondrous rings; Here flames the Queen of Beauty's silver lamp, And there the moon-girt orb of mighty Jove; But this, unseen through all earth's aeons past, A youth who watched beneath the western star Sought in the darkness, found, and showed to men; Linked with his name thenceforth and evermore! So shall that name be syllabled anew In all the tongues of all the tribes of men: I that have been through immemorial years Dust in the dust of my forgotten time Shall live in accents shaped of blood-warm breath, Yea, rise in mortal semblance, newly born In shining stone, in undecaying bronze, And stand on high, and look serenely down On the new race that calls the earth its own. Is this a cloud, that, blown athwart my soul, Wears a false seeming of the pearly stain Where worlds beyond the world their mingling rays Blend in soft white,—a cloud that, born of earth, Would cheat the soul that looks for light from heaven? Must every coral-insect leave his sign On each poor grain he lent to build the reef, As Babel's builders stamped their sunburnt clay, Or deem his patient service all in vain? What if another sit beneath the shade Of the broad elm I planted by the way, —What if another heed the beacon light I set upon the rock that wrecked my keel, Have I not done my task and served my kind? Nay, rather act thy part, unnamed, unknown, And let Fame blow her trumpet through the world With noisy wind to swell a fool's renown, Joined with some truth be stumbled blindly o'er, Or coupled with some single shining deed That in the great account of all his days Will stand alone upon the bankrupt sheet His pitying angel shows the clerk of Heaven. The noblest service comes from nameless hands, And the best servant does his work unseen. Who found the seeds of fire and made them shoot, Fed by his breath, in buds and flowers of flame? Who forged in roaring flames the ponderous stone, And shaped the moulded metal to his need? Who gave the dragging car its rolling wheel, And tamed the steed that whirls its circling round? All these have left their work and not their names, Why should I murmur at a fate like theirs? This is the heavenly light; the pearly stain Was but a wind-cloud drifting oer the stars!
WIND-CLOUDS AND STAR-DRIFTS. I Another cloudy night; the stars are hidden, The moon I seek is hidden with them. Patience! Why complain about an hour, a month, a year, To plant my ladder and reach the rung That guides my steps to the heaven of fame, Where the wreath I've earned through sleepless nights awaits? Not the worn laurel that heroes wear That withers when a stronger conqueror's heel Crushes their shriveled trophies into the dust; But the beautiful garland whose everlasting green Time cannot change, nor the anger of gods or men! With quickened heartbeats, I will hear the voices That speak my praise; but even better is the understanding That in the formless ages, buried deep In the dark mines of unrealized time, Yet to be stamped with morning's royal seal And turned into golden days— in those distant years, I will be counted among the undying dead, My name emblazoned on the fiery arch, Unfading until the stars themselves fade. Then, when they call the roll of shining worlds, Wise ones of races yet unborn in fresh voices Will count me with the Olympians of old, Whose glories blaze in the midnight sky. Here shines the God of Battles; this recalls The Lord of Ocean, and that distant sphere The Father of Him who gave his ancient name To the dim planet with the amazing rings; Here burns the Queen of Beauty's silver lamp, And there the moon-enveloped sphere of mighty Jove; But this, unseen through all of earth's ages past, A young man who watched under the western star Sought in the darkness, found, and showed to people; Linked forever with his name! So shall that name be spoken anew In all the languages of all the tribes of humanity: I, who have existed through unending years, Dust in the dust of my forgotten time, Shall live in voices formed from warm breath, Yes, rise in human form, newly born In shining stone, in enduring bronze, And stand on high, looking serenely down On the new generation that claims the earth as its own. Is this a cloud that, drifting through my soul, Wears a false resemblance to the pearly glow Where worlds beyond the world merge their rays Blending in soft white—a cloud that, born of earth, Would deceive the soul that seeks light from heaven? Must every coral-insect leave its mark On every single grain it contributed to build the reef, As Babel's builders branded their sunbaked clay, Or consider their patient service all in vain? What if another sits beneath the shade Of the broad elm I planted along the way, What if another pays attention to the beacon light I set upon the rock that wrecked my keel, Have I not completed my task and served my kind? No, rather play your role, unnamed, unknown, And let Fame blow her trumpet through the world With noisy wind to inflate a fool's reputation, Joined with some truth stumbled upon blindly, Or paired with a single shining deed That in the grand total of all his days Will stand alone on the bankrupt sheet His compassionate angel shows the clerk of Heaven. The noblest service comes from nameless hands, And the best servant does his work unseen. Who discovered the seeds of fire and made them grow, Fed by his breath, in buds and flowers of flame? Who forged in roaring flames the heavy stone, And shaped the molten metal to his needs? Who gave the dragging cart its rolling wheel, And tamed the horse that spins in its circling round? All these have left their work, not their names, Why should I complain about a fate like theirs? This is the heavenly light; the pearly glow Was just a wind-cloud drifting over the stars!
VI
I find I have so many things in common with the old Master of Arts, that I do not always know whether a thought was originally his or mine. That is what always happens where two persons of a similar cast of mind talk much together. And both of them often gain by the interchange. Many ideas grow better when transplanted into another mind than in the one where they sprang up. That which was a weed in one intelligence becomes a flower in the other. A flower, on the other hand, may dwindle down to a mere weed by the same change. Healthy growths may become poisonous by falling upon the wrong mental soil, and what seemed a night-shade in one mind unfold as a morning-glory in the other.
I realize I have so much in common with the old Master of Arts that I sometimes can't tell if a thought originated with him or me. This always happens when two people with similar ways of thinking talk a lot together. Both often benefit from the exchange. Many ideas thrive better when moved into someone else's mind than in the one where they originated. What was a weed in one person's mind can bloom into a flower in another's. Conversely, a flower can shrink to a mere weed in a different mind. Healthy ideas can become toxic when planted in the wrong mental environment, and what looks like a nightshade in one person's mind may unfold as a morning glory in another's.
—I thank God,—the Master said,—that a great many people believe a great deal more than I do. I think, when it comes to serious matters, I like those who believe more than I do better than those who believe less.
—I thank God,—the Master said,—that many people believe a lot more than I do. I think, when it comes to serious matters, I prefer those who believe more than I do over those who believe less.
—Why,—said I,—you have got hold of one of my own working axioms. I should like to hear you develop it.
—Why,—I said,—you’ve picked up one of my own principles. I’d love to hear you expand on it.
The Member of the Haouse said he should be glad to listen to the debate. The gentleman had the floor. The Scarabee rose from his chair and departed;—I thought his joints creaked as he straightened himself.
The Member of the House said he would be happy to listen to the debate. The gentleman had the floor. The Scarabee got up from his chair and left;—I thought I heard his joints creak as he straightened up.
The Young Girl made a slight movement; it was a purely accidental coincidence, no doubt, but I saw That Boy put his hand in his pocket and pull out his popgun, and begin loading it. It cannot be that our Scheherezade, who looks so quiet and proper at the table, can make use of That Boy and his catapult to control the course of conversation and change it to suit herself! She certainly looks innocent enough; but what does a blush prove, and what does its absence prove, on one of these innocent faces? There is nothing in all this world that can lie and cheat like the face and the tongue of a young girl. Just give her a little touch of hysteria,—I don't mean enough of it to make her friends call the doctor in, but a slight hint of it in the nervous system,—and “Machiavel the waiting-maid” might take lessons of her. But I cannot think our Scheherezade is one of that kind, and I am ashamed of myself for noting such a trifling coincidence as that which excited my suspicion.
The Young Girl made a small movement; it was probably just a coincidence, but I saw That Boy take his hand out of his pocket, pull out his popgun, and start loading it. It can’t be that our Scheherezade, who seems so calm and proper at the table, is using That Boy and his slingshot to steer the conversation in her favor! She definitely looks innocent enough, but what does a blush really prove, and what does the lack of one prove, on these seemingly innocent faces? There's nothing in this world that can deceive and manipulate like the face and words of a young girl. Just give her a little touch of hysteria—I don’t mean enough to make her friends call a doctor, but just a slight hint in her nervous system—and “Machiavel the waiting-maid” could learn a thing or two from her. But I can’t believe our Scheherezade is like that, and I feel embarrassed for noticing such a trivial coincidence that made me suspicious.
—I say,—the Master continued,—that I had rather be in the company of those who believe more than I do, in spiritual matters at least, than of those who doubt what I accept as a part of my belief.
—I say,—the Master continued,—that I would rather be with those who believe more than I do, at least in spiritual matters, than with those who doubt what I consider to be a part of my beliefs.
—To tell the truth,—said I,—I find that difficulty sometimes in talking with you. You have not quite so many hesitations as I have in following out your logical conclusions. I suppose you would bring some things out into daylight questioning that I had rather leave in that twilight of half-belief peopled with shadows—if they are only shadows—more sacred to me than many realities.
—To be honest,—I said,—I sometimes struggle to talk with you. You don’t hesitate as much as I do when it comes to following your logical conclusions. I guess you would bring some things into the light that I’d prefer to keep in that gray area of half-belief filled with shadows—if they are just shadows—more precious to me than many realities.
There is nothing I do not question,—said the Master;—I not only begin with the precept of Descartes, but I hold all my opinions involving any chain of reasoning always open to revision.
There’s nothing I don’t question, said the Master. I not only start with Descartes’ principle, but I also keep all my beliefs that involve any reasoning open for review.
—I confess that I smiled internally to hear him say that. The old Master thinks he is open to conviction on all subjects; but if you meddle with some of his notions and don't get tossed on his horns as if a bull had hold of you, I should call you lucky.
—I admit that I smiled inside when he said that. The old Master believes he's open to being convinced about everything; but if you challenge some of his ideas and don't end up being tossed around like a bull has you in its grip, I’d say you’re lucky.
—You don't mean you doubt everything?—I said.
—You don't really doubt everything, do you?—I said.
—What do you think I question everything for, the Master replied,—if I never get any answers? You've seen a blind man with a stick, feeling his way along? Well, I am a blind man with a stick, and I find the world pretty full of men just as blind as I am, but without any stick. I try the ground to find out whether it is firm or not before I rest my weight on it; but after it has borne my weight, that question at least is answered. It very certainly was strong enough once; the presumption is that it is strong enough now. Still the soil may have been undermined, or I may have grown heavier. Make as much of that as you will. I say I question everything; but if I find Bunker Hill Monument standing as straight as when I leaned against it a year or ten years ago, I am not very much afraid that Bunker Hill will cave in if I trust myself again on the soil of it.
—What do you think I question everything for? the Master replied, —if I never get any answers? You've seen a blind person with a cane, feeling their way along? Well, I’m like that blind person, and I find that the world is pretty full of people just as blind as I am, but without a cane. I check the ground to see if it’s solid before I put my weight on it; but once it’s held my weight, that question is at least answered. It was definitely strong enough then; the assumption is that it’s strong enough now. Still, the ground could have been eroded, or I might have gained weight. Take from that what you will. I say I question everything; but if I see Bunker Hill Monument standing as straight as it did when I leaned against it a year or ten years ago, I’m not too worried that Bunker Hill will collapse if I trust myself on that ground again.
I glanced off, as one often does in talk.
I looked away, as people often do during conversations.
The Monument is an awful place to visit,—I said.—The waves of time are like the waves of the ocean; the only thing they beat against without destroying it is a rock; and they destroy that at last. But it takes a good while. There is a stone now standing in very good order that was as old as a monument of Louis XIV. and Queen Anne's day is now when Joseph went down into Egypt. Think of the shaft on Bunker Hill standing in the sunshine on the morning of January 1st in the year 5872!
The Monument is a terrible place to visit, I said. The waves of time are like ocean waves; the only thing they crash against without destroying it is a rock, and eventually, they wear that down as well. But it takes a long time. There’s a stone now that’s still in great shape, dating back to the time of Louis XIV and Queen Anne, just like when Joseph went down to Egypt. Imagine the Bunker Hill shaft standing in the sunlight on the morning of January 1st in the year 5872!
It won't be standing,—the Master said.—We are poor bunglers compared to those old Egyptians. There are no joints in one of their obelisks. They are our masters in more ways than we know of, and in more ways than some of us are willing to know. That old Lawgiver wasn't learned in all the wisdom of the Egyptians for nothing. It scared people well a couple of hundred years ago when Sir John Marsham and Dr. John Spencer ventured to tell their stories about the sacred ceremonies of the Egyptian priesthood. People are beginning to find out now that you can't study any religion by itself to any good purpose. You must have comparative theology as you have comparative anatomy. What would you make of a cat's foolish little good-for-nothing collar-bone, if you did not know how the same bone means a good deal in other creatures,—in yourself, for instance, as you 'll find out if you break it? You can't know too much of your race and its beliefs, if you want to know anything about your Maker. I never found but one sect large enough to hold the whole of me.
"It won't last," the Master said. "We are clumsy amateurs compared to those ancient Egyptians. Their obelisks have no joints. They have mastery over us in more ways than we realize, and in ways some of us aren’t ready to accept. That old Lawgiver didn’t learn all the wisdom of the Egyptians for nothing. It made people uneasy a couple of hundred years ago when Sir John Marsham and Dr. John Spencer dared to share their insights about the sacred rituals of the Egyptian priesthood. People are starting to understand now that you can’t study any religion in isolation and expect meaningful results. You need comparative theology just like you need comparative anatomy. What would you make of a cat’s silly little useless collarbone if you didn’t know how significant that same bone is in other animals—you, for instance, as you'll discover if you break it? You can’t know too much about your own kind and its beliefs if you want to understand anything about your Creator. I’ve only ever found one group big enough to encompass all of me."
—And may I ask what that was?—I said.
—And can I ask what that was?—I said.
—The Human sect,—the Master answered. That has about room enough for me,—at present, I mean to say.
—The Human sect,—the Master answered. That has just about enough room for me,—for now, I mean.
—Including cannibals and all?—said I.
—Including cannibals and all?—I said.
-Oh, as to that, the eating of one's kind is a matter of taste, but the roasting of them has been rather more a specialty of our own particular belief than of any other I am acquainted with. If you broil a saint, I don't see why, if you have a mind, you shouldn't serve him up at your—
-Oh, about that, eating one's own kind is a matter of preference, but roasting them has definitely been more of a specialty of our particular belief than any others I'm aware of. If you grill a saint, I don't see why, if you feel like it, you can't serve him up at your—
Pop! went the little piece of artillery. Don't tell me it was accident. I know better. You can't suppose for one minute that a boy like that one would time his interruptions so cleverly. Now it so happened that at that particular moment Dr. B. Franklin was not at the table. You may draw your own conclusions. I say nothing, but I think a good deal.
Pop! went the little piece of artillery. Don’t tell me it was an accident. I know better. You can’t possibly think that a boy like him would time his interruptions so perfectly. Now, it just so happened that at that particular moment Dr. B. Franklin was not at the table. You can draw your own conclusions. I say nothing, but I think a lot.
—I came back to the Bunker Hill Monument.—I often think—I said—of the dynasty which is to reign in its shadow for some thousands of years, it may be.
—I returned to the Bunker Hill Monument.—I often reflect—I said—on the dynasty that will rule in its shadow for perhaps thousands of years to come.
The “Man of Letters,” so called, asked me, in a tone I did not exactly like, whether I expected to live long enough to see a monarchy take the place of a republic in this country.
The "Man of Letters," as he was called, asked me, in a way I didn't really like, if I thought I would live long enough to see a monarchy replace the republic in this country.
—No,—said I,—I was thinking of something very different. I was indulging a fancy of mine about the Man who is to sit at the foot of the monument for one, or it may be two or three thousand years. As long as the monument stands and there is a city near it, there will always be a man to take the names of visitors and extract some small tribute from their pockets, I suppose. I sometimes get thinking of the long, unbroken succession of these men, until they come to look like one Man; continuous in being, unchanging as the stone he watches, looking upon the successive generations of human beings as they come and go, and outliving all the dynasties of the world in all probability. It has come to such a pass that I never speak to the Man of the Monument without wanting to take my hat off and feeling as if I were looking down a vista of twenty or thirty centuries.
—No,—I said,—I was thinking of something completely different. I was imagining the Man who is supposed to sit at the base of the monument for one, or maybe two or three thousand years. As long as the monument stands and there's a city nearby, I suppose there will always be a man to take the names of visitors and extract some small change from their pockets. I sometimes find myself thinking about the long, unbroken line of these men, until they all seem like one Man; continuous in existence, unchanging as the stone he watches, observing the different generations of people as they come and go, and likely outliving all the dynasties of the world. It has gotten to the point where I never address the Man of the Monument without wanting to take my hat off and feeling as if I were gazing down a timeline of twenty or thirty centuries.
The “Man of Letters,” so called, said, in a rather contemptuous way, I thought, that he had n't got so far as that. He was n't quite up to moral reflections on toll-men and ticket-takers. Sentiment was n't his tap.
The “Man of Letters,” as they called him, said, in a pretty dismissive tone, I thought, that he hadn’t reached that point yet. He wasn’t really into moral reflections on tollbooth workers and ticket sellers. Sentiment wasn’t his thing.
He looked round triumphantly for a response: but the Capitalist was a little hard of hearing just then; the Register of Deeds was browsing on his food in the calm bovine abstraction of a quadruped, and paid no attention; the Salesman had bolted his breakfast, and whisked himself away with that peculiar alacrity which belongs to the retail dealer's assistant; and the Member of the Haouse, who had sometimes seemed to be impressed with his “tahlented mahn's” air of superiority to the rest of us, looked as if he thought the speaker was not exactly parliamentary. So he failed to make his point, and reddened a little, and was not in the best humor, I thought, when he left the table. I hope he will not let off any of his irritation on our poor little Scheherezade; but the truth is, the first person a man of this sort (if he is what I think him) meets, when he is out of humor, has to be made a victim of, and I only hope our Young Girl will not have to play Jephthah's daughter.
He looked around hopefully for a reaction, but the Capitalist was a bit hard of hearing at that moment; the Register of Deeds was focused on his food, lost in a calm, mindless way just like a cow, and didn’t pay attention; the Salesman had scarfed down his breakfast and rushed off with that peculiar eagerness typical of retail assistants; and the Member of the House, who sometimes seemed impressed by the “talented man's” air of superiority over the rest of us, looked like he thought the speaker wasn't being very parliamentary. So, he didn’t get his point across, turned a little red, and I thought he wasn’t in the best mood when he left the table. I hope he doesn’t take out any of his irritation on our poor little Scheherezade; but the truth is, the first person a guy like this encounters when he’s in a bad mood usually ends up as the target, and I can only hope our Young Girl won’t have to play Jephthah's daughter.
And that leads me to say, I cannot help thinking that the kind of criticism to which this Young Girl has been subjected from some person or other, who is willing to be smart at her expense, is hurtful and not wholesome. The question is a delicate one. So many foolish persons are rushing into print, that it requires a kind of literary police to hold them back and keep them in order. Where there are mice there must be cats, and where there are rats we may think it worth our while to keep a terrier, who will give them a shake and let them drop, with all the mischief taken out of them. But the process is a rude and cruel one at best, and it too often breeds a love of destructiveness for its own sake in those who get their living by it. A poor poem or essay does not do much harm after all; nobody reads it who is like to be seriously hurt by it. But a sharp criticism with a drop of witty venom in it stings a young author almost to death, and makes an old one uncomfortable to no purpose. If it were my business to sit in judgment on my neighbors, I would try to be courteous, at least, to those who had done any good service, but, above all, I would handle tenderly those young authors who are coming before the public in the flutter of their first or early appearance, and are in the trembling delirium of stage-fright already. Before you write that brilliant notice of some alliterative Angelina's book of verses, I wish you would try this experiment.
And that brings me to say, I can’t help but think that the kind of criticism this Young Girl has faced from some person or another, who is eager to be clever at her expense, is harmful and not healthy. The issue is a sensitive one. So many foolish people are rushing to publish their thoughts that we need a sort of literary enforcement to hold them back and keep them in check. Where there are mice, there must be cats, and where there are rats, we might find it worthwhile to keep a terrier who will shake them up and let them drop, rendering them harmless. But this method is, at best, rough and cruel, and it often creates a tendency towards destructiveness for its own sake in those who make a living by it. A mediocre poem or essay doesn’t really cause much harm; hardly anyone reads it who would be seriously affected by it. But a sharp critique laced with witty malice can sting a young author almost to death and leave an older one feeling uneasy for no reason. If it were my job to judge my neighbors, I would at least try to be polite to those who have done good work, but most importantly, I would treat gently those young authors stepping into the public eye, already shaking with the nerves of their first or early appearances. Before you write that brilliant review of some alliterative Angelina's collection of poems, I wish you would try this experiment.
Take half a sheet of paper and copy upon it any of Angelina's stanzas,—the ones you were going to make fun of, if you will. Now go to your window, if it is a still day, open it, and let the half-sheet of paper drop on the outside. How gently it falls through the soft air, always tending downwards, but sliding softly, from side to side, wavering, hesitating, balancing, until it settles as noiselessly as a snow-flake upon the all-receiving bosom of the earth! Just such would have been the fate of poor Angelina's fluttering effort, if you had left it to itself. It would have slanted downward into oblivion so sweetly and softly that she would have never known when it reached that harmless consummation.
Take half a sheet of paper and write down any of Angelina's stanzas—the ones you were planning to mock. Now go to your window, if it’s a calm day, open it, and let the half-sheet of paper fall outside. Watch how gently it drifts through the soft air, always moving downward, but gliding softly from side to side, wavering, hesitating, balancing, until it lands as quietly as a snowflake on the welcoming surface of the earth! Just like that would have been the fate of poor Angelina's trembling effort if you had left it alone. It would have descended into oblivion so sweetly and softly that she would have never realized when it reached that peaceful end.
Our epizoic literature is becoming so extensive that nobody is safe from its ad infinitum progeny. A man writes a book of criticisms. A Quarterly Review criticises the critic. A Monthly Magazine takes up the critic's critic. A Weekly Journal criticises the critic of the critic's critic, and a daily paper favors us with some critical remarks on the performance of the writer in the Weekly, who has criticised the critical notice in the Monthly of the critical essay in the Quarterly on the critical work we started with. And thus we see that as each flea “has smaller fleas that on him prey,” even the critic himself cannot escape the common lot of being bitten. Whether all this is a blessing or a curse, like that one which made Pharaoh and all his household run to their toilet-tables, is a question about which opinions might differ. The physiologists of the time of Moses—if there were vivisectors other than priests in those days—would probably have considered that other plague, of the frogs, as a fortunate opportunity for science, as this poor little beast has been the souffre-douleur of experimenters and schoolboys from time immemorial.
Our commentary literature is becoming so extensive that nobody is safe from its endless offspring. A person writes a book of critiques. A quarterly review critiques the critic. A monthly magazine takes on the critic’s critique. A weekly journal critiques the critic of the critic’s critique, and a daily paper gives us some critical comments on the work of the writer in the weekly, who criticized the critical notice in the monthly about the critical essay in the quarterly on the original work we started with. And so we see that just like each flea “has smaller fleas that prey on it,” even the critic himself can’t escape the common fate of being criticized. Whether all this is a blessing or a curse, much like that one which made Pharaoh and all his household rush to their toilets, is a question that might spark different opinions. The physiologists during Moses' time—if there were any vivisectors other than priests back then—would probably have seen the plague of frogs as a fortunate chance for science, as this poor little creature has been the subject of experiments and schoolboy antics for ages.
But there is a form of criticism to which none will object. It is impossible to come before a public so alive with sensibilities as this we live in, with the smallest evidence of a sympathetic disposition, without making friends in a very unexpected way. Everywhere there are minds tossing on the unquiet waves of doubt. If you confess to the same perplexities and uncertainties that torture them, they are grateful for your companionship. If you have groped your way out of the wilderness in which you were once wandering with them, they will follow your footsteps, it may be, and bless you as their deliverer. So, all at once, a writer finds he has a parish of devout listeners, scattered, it is true, beyond the reach of any summons but that of a trumpet like the archangel's, to whom his slight discourse may be of more value than the exhortations they hear from the pulpit, if these last do not happen to suit their special needs. Young men with more ambition and intelligence than force of character, who have missed their first steps in life and are stumbling irresolute amidst vague aims and changing purposes, hold out their hands, imploring to be led into, or at least pointed towards, some path where they can find a firm foothold. Young women born into a chilling atmosphere of circumstance which keeps all the buds of their nature unopened and always striving to get to a ray of sunshine, if one finds its way to their neighborhood, tell their stories, sometimes simply and touchingly, sometimes in a more or less affected and rhetorical way, but still stories of defeated and disappointed instincts which ought to make any moderately impressible person feel very tenderly toward them.
But there’s a kind of criticism that no one minds. It’s impossible to step in front of an audience as sensitive as the one we live in today, showing the least bit of empathy, without unexpectedly making friends. Everywhere, there are minds struggling in the turbulent waves of doubt. If you share the same confusions and uncertainties that haunt them, they’ll appreciate your company. If you’ve found your way out of the wilderness where you once wandered alongside them, they might follow your path and see you as their savior. Suddenly, a writer realizes they have a community of devoted listeners, scattered though they may be, unreachable by any invitation except for a call as powerful as the archangel's trumpet, to whom their brief message might mean more than the sermons they hear in church, especially if those sermons don’t meet their specific needs. Young men who have more ambition and intelligence than willpower, who have stumbled in life’s early steps and are uncertain amid vague goals and shifting intentions, reach out their hands, hoping to be guided toward some path where they can find solid ground. Young women raised in a harsh environment that keeps their potential locked away and constantly striving for a ray of sunshine, when one finally appears in their vicinity, share their stories—sometimes simply and touchingly, other times in a more dramatic and exaggerated way—but still tales of thwarted desires and disappointments that should evoke deep sympathy in any reasonably empathetic person.
In speaking privately to these young persons, many of whom have literary aspirations, one should be very considerate of their human feelings. But addressing them collectively a few plain truths will not give any one of them much pain. Indeed, almost every individual among them will feel sure that he or she is an exception to those generalities which apply so well to the rest.
In talking privately to these young people, many of whom have dreams of being writers, it’s important to be sensitive to their
If I were a literary Pope sending out an Encyclical, I would tell these inexperienced persons that nothing is so frequent as to mistake an ordinary human gift for a special and extraordinary endowment. The mechanism of breathing and that of swallowing are very wonderful, and if one had seen and studied them in his own person only, he might well think himself a prodigy. Everybody knows these and other bodily faculties are common gifts; but nobody except editors and school-teachers and here and there a literary than knows how common is the capacity of rhyming and prattling in readable prose, especially among young women of a certain degree of education. In my character of Pontiff, I should tell these young persons that most of them labored under a delusion. It is very hard to believe it; one feels so full of intelligence and so decidedly superior to one's dull relations and schoolmates; one writes so easily and the lines sound so prettily to one's self; there are such felicities of expression, just like those we hear quoted from the great poets; and besides one has been told by so many friends that all one had to do was to print and be famous! Delusion, my poor dear, delusion at least nineteen times out of twenty, yes, ninety-nine times in a hundred.
If I were a literary Pope sending out a message, I would tell these inexperienced people that nothing is more common than mistaking an ordinary talent for a unique and exceptional gift. The processes of breathing and swallowing are truly amazing, and if someone only observed and studied these functions in themselves, they might easily think they were extraordinary. Everyone knows these and other physical abilities are just regular skills; however, only editors, teachers, and a few literary enthusiasts realize how typical the ability to rhyme and create readable prose is, especially among young women with a certain level of education. As Pontiff, I would tell these young individuals that most of them are under an illusion. It's really hard to accept; one feels so intelligent and so much better than their dull relatives and classmates; writing comes so easily, and the lines sound so nice to oneself; there are such wonderful expressions, just like the ones we hear from great poets; and besides, so many friends have said that all it takes is to publish and then become famous! Illusion, my dear, illusion at least nineteen times out of twenty, yes, ninety-nine times out of a hundred.
But as private father confessor, I always allow as much as I can for the one chance in the hundred. I try not to take away all hope, unless the case is clearly desperate, and then to direct the activities into some other channel.
But as a private father confessor, I always consider the slim chance of hope. I try not to strip away all optimism unless the situation is clearly hopeless, and then I aim to guide the efforts in another direction.
Using kind language, I can talk pretty freely. I have counselled more than one aspirant after literary fame to go back to his tailor's board or his lapstone. I have advised the dilettanti, whose foolish friends praised their verses or their stories, to give up all their deceptive dreams of making a name by their genius, and go to work in the study of a profession which asked only for the diligent use of average; ordinary talents. It is a very grave responsibility which these unknown correspondents throw upon their chosen counsellors. One whom you have never seen, who lives in a community of which you know nothing, sends you specimens more or less painfully voluminous of his writings, which he asks you to read over, think over, and pray over, and send back an answer informing him whether fame and fortune are awaiting him as the possessor of the wonderful gifts his writings manifest, and whether you advise him to leave all,—the shop he sweeps out every morning, the ledger he posts, the mortar in which he pounds, the bench at which he urges the reluctant plane,—and follow his genius whithersoever it may lead him. The next correspondent wants you to mark out a whole course of life for him, and the means of judgment he gives you are about as adequate as the brick which the simpleton of old carried round as an advertisement of the house he had to sell. My advice to all the young men that write to me depends somewhat on the handwriting and spelling. If these are of a certain character, and they have reached a mature age, I recommend some honest manual calling, such as they have very probably been bred to, and which will, at least, give them a chance of becoming President of the United States by and by, if that is any object to them. What would you have done with the young person who called on me a good many years ago, so many that he has probably forgotten his literary effort,—and read as specimens of his literary workmanship lines like those which I will favor you with presently? He was an able-bodied, grown-up young person, whose ingenuousness interested me; and I am sure if I thought he would ever be pained to see his maiden effort in print, I would deny myself the pleasure of submitting it to the reader. The following is an exact transcript of the lines he showed me, and which I took down on the spot:
Using kind words, I can speak pretty openly. I've advised more than one person chasing literary success to return to working with their tailor or cobbler. I've told the amateurs, whose foolish friends hype up their poems or stories, to let go of their misleading dreams of making a name through their talent and instead focus on studying a profession that only requires consistent use of average skills. It’s a serious responsibility that these unknown writers put on their chosen advisors. Someone you've never met, who lives in a place you know nothing about, sends you lengthy samples of their writing, asking you to read, reflect, and pray over them, then send back a response telling them if fame and fortune await them because of their remarkable talents, and whether you think they should abandon everything—the job they clean every morning, the accounts they manage, the mortar they mix, the bench they work on—and pursue their talent wherever it might lead. The next writer wants you to outline an entire path for their life, and the criteria they give you are about as useful as the brick that a fool used to promote the house he was trying to sell. My advice to all the young men who write to me is influenced somewhat by their handwriting and spelling. If these are of a certain type, and they've reached an adult age, I suggest a reliable manual job, like the one they were probably raised for, which at least gives them a shot at becoming President of the United States someday, if that's something they care about. What would you have done with the young man who visited me many years ago, so long ago that he’s probably forgotten about his writing attempt—and presented samples of his work that I'll share with you shortly? He was a capable, full-grown young man, whose honesty intrigued me; and I'm sure if I thought he would be hurt to see his first attempt in print, I would hold back from letting it reach the reader. The following is an exact transcript of the lines he showed me, which I noted down right then:
“Are you in the vein for cider? Are you in the tune for pork? Hist! for Betty's cleared the larder And turned the pork to soap.”
“Are you in the mood for cider? Are you in the mood for pork? Wait! Because Betty’s cleaned out the pantry And turned the pork into soap.”
Do not judge too hastily this sincere effort of a maiden muse. Here was a sense of rhythm, and an effort in the direction of rhyme; here was an honest transcript of an occurrence of daily life, told with a certain idealizing expression, recognizing the existence of impulses, mysterious instincts, impelling us even in the selection of our bodily sustenance. But I had to tell him that it wanted dignity of incident and grace of narrative, that there was no atmosphere to it, nothing of the light that never was and so forth. I did not say this in these very words, but I gave him to understand, without being too hard upon him, that he had better not desert his honest toil in pursuit of the poet's bays. This, it must be confessed, was a rather discouraging case. A young person like this may pierce, as the Frenchmen say, by and by, but the chances are all the other way.
Do not judge too quickly this genuine attempt from a young poet. There was a sense of rhythm and an effort toward rhyme; it was an honest reflection of a daily life event, told with a touch of idealism, acknowledging the existence of impulses and mysterious instincts that influence even the way we choose our food. But I had to tell him that it lacked the dignity of event and the grace of storytelling, that it had no atmosphere, nothing of the elusive light, and so on. I didn’t use those exact words, but I made it clear, without being too harsh, that he should not abandon his honest work in search of fame as a poet. I must admit, it was a pretty discouraging situation. A young person like this might succeed in time, as the French say, but the odds are mostly against it.
I advise aimless young men to choose some profession without needless delay, and so get into a good strong current of human affairs, and find themselves bound up in interests with a compact body of their fellow-men.
I suggest that aimless young men pick a profession without wasting any time, so they can get involved in the flow of human activities and connect with a close-knit group of peers.
I advise young women who write to me for counsel,—perhaps I do not advise them at all, only sympathize a little with them, and listen to what they have to say (eight closely written pages on the average, which I always read from beginning to end, thinking of the widow's cruse and myself in the character of Elijah) and—and—come now, I don't believe Methuselah would tell you what he said in his letters to young ladies, written when he was in his nine hundred and sixty-ninth year.
I advise young women who reach out to me for advice—maybe I'm not really advising them at all, just sympathizing a bit and listening to what they have to say (usually about eight pages of closely written text, which I always read from start to finish, thinking about the widow's cruse and seeing myself as Elijah)—and—well, honestly, I doubt Methuselah would share what he wrote in his letters to young women when he was in his nine hundred sixty-ninth year.
But, dear me! how much work all this private criticism involves! An editor has only to say “respectfully declined,” and there is the end of it. But the confidential adviser is expected to give the reasons of his likes and dislikes in detail, and sometimes to enter into an argument for their support. That is more than any martyr can stand, but what trials he must go through, as it is! Great bundles of manuscripts, verse or prose, which the recipient is expected to read, perhaps to recommend to a publisher, at any rate to express a well-digested and agreeably flavored opinion about; which opinion, nine times out of ten, disguise it as we may, has to be a bitter draught; every form of egotism, conceit, false sentiment, hunger for notoriety, and eagerness for display of anserine plumage before the admiring public;—all these come in by mail or express, covered with postage-stamps of so much more cost than the value of the waste words they overlie, that one comes at last to groan and change color at the very sight of a package, and to dread the postman's knock as if it were that of the other visitor whose naked knuckles rap at every door.
But, oh my! how much work all this private criticism involves! An editor only needs to say “respectfully declined,” and that’s the end of it. But the trusted adviser is expected to explain their likes and dislikes in detail, and sometimes even defend them. That is more than any saint can handle, but think of the trials they must endure! Huge stacks of manuscripts, whether poetry or prose, that the recipient is supposed to read, maybe recommend to a publisher, or at least provide a well-thought-out and nicely worded opinion on; which opinion, nine times out of ten, no matter how much we try to sugarcoat it, ends up being a bitter pill to swallow. Every form of egotism, arrogance, false sentiment, desire for fame, and show-off tendencies in front of an admiring public—all of these arrive by mail or express, covered with postage stamps that cost way more than the value of the worthless words inside, so much so that eventually, one ends up groaning and turning pale at just the sight of a package, dreading the postman's knock as if it were that of the grim reaper at every door.
Still there are experiences which go far towards repaying all these inflictions. My last young man's case looked desperate enough; some of his sails had blown from the rigging, some were backing in the wind, and some were flapping and shivering, but I told him which way to head, and to my surprise he promised to do just as I directed, and I do not doubt is under full sail at this moment.
Still, there are experiences that come close to making up for all these hardships. My last young man's situation seemed pretty hopeless; some of his sails had come loose from the rigging, some were flapping in the wind, and others were rattling and flapping. But I told him which way to steer, and to my surprise, he agreed to follow my advice, and I have no doubt he's sailing smoothly right now.
What if I should tell my last, my very recent experience with the other sex? I received a paper containing the inner history of a young woman's life, the evolution of her consciousness from its earliest record of itself, written so thoughtfully, so sincerely, with so much firmness and yet so much delicacy, with such truth of detail and such grace in the manner of telling, that I finished the long manuscript almost at a sitting, with a pleasure rarely, almost never experienced in voluminous communications which one has to spell out of handwriting. This was from a correspondent who made my acquaintance by letter when she was little more than a child, some years ago. How easy at that early period to have silenced her by indifference, to have wounded her by a careless epithet, perhaps even to have crushed her as one puts his heel on a weed! A very little encouragement kept her from despondency, and brought back one of those overflows of gratitude which make one more ashamed of himself for being so overpaid than he would be for having committed any of the lesser sins. But what pleased me most in the paper lately received was to see how far the writer had outgrown the need of any encouragement of mine; that she had strengthened out of her tremulous questionings into a self-reliance and self-poise which I had hardly dared to anticipate for her. Some of my readers who are also writers have very probably had more numerous experiences of this kind than I can lay claim to; self-revelations from unknown and sometimes nameless friends, who write from strange corners where the winds have wafted some stray words of theirs which have lighted in the minds and reached the hearts of those to whom they were as the angel that stirred the pool of Bethesda. Perhaps this is the best reward authorship brings; it may not imply much talent or literary excellence, but it means that your way of thinking and feeling is just what some one of your fellow-creatures needed.
What if I shared my latest, very recent experience with the opposite sex? I received a written account detailing the inner life of a young woman, tracing her consciousness from its earliest moments. It was written so thoughtfully and sincerely, with both strength and delicacy, capturing great detail and grace in the storytelling. I finished the lengthy manuscript in almost one sitting, experiencing a pleasure that's rare, almost never felt with lengthy messages that require deciphering handwriting. This came from a correspondent I got to know through letters when she was barely more than a child years ago. It would have been so easy back then to dismiss her with indifference, to hurt her with a careless comment, or even to crush her like stepping on a weed! Just a little encouragement kept her from falling into despair and sparked a wave of gratitude that made me feel more ashamed of being so overcompensated than if I had committed any minor offenses. But what made me happiest about this recent letter was seeing how far the writer has moved beyond needing any encouragement from me; she has grown from her shaky doubts into a self-confidence I hardly dared to hope for. Some of my readers who are also writers have likely had even more experiences like this than I have; self-revelations from unknown and sometimes unnamed friends who write from distant places where the winds have carried some stray words of theirs that have resonated with those who found them, like the angel that stirred the pool of Bethesda. Perhaps this is the greatest reward of being an author; it may not reflect much talent or literary brilliance, but it shows that your way of thinking and feeling is exactly what someone else needed.
—I have been putting into shape, according to his request, some further passages from the Young Astronomer's manuscript, some of which the reader will have a chance to read if he is so disposed. The conflict in the young man's mind between the desire for fame and the sense of its emptiness as compared with nobler aims has set me thinking about the subject from a somewhat humbler point of view. As I am in the habit of telling you, Beloved, many of my thoughts, as well as of repeating what was said at our table, you may read what follows as if it were addressed to you in the course of an ordinary conversation, where I claimed rather more than my share, as I am afraid I am a little in the habit of doing.
—I have been shaping some additional passages from the Young Astronomer's manuscript, as he requested. Some of these will be available for the reader to see if they’re interested. The struggle in the young man’s mind between wanting fame and realizing its emptiness compared to more meaningful goals has made me reflect on this topic from a more modest perspective. As I often tell you, Beloved, and as I share what was discussed at our table, you can read what follows as if it’s part of a regular conversation where I might have taken a bit more than my fair share of the dialogue, which I admit I tend to do.
I suppose we all, those of us who write in verse or prose, have the habitual feeling that we should like to be remembered. It is to be awake when all of those who were round us have been long wrapped in slumber. It is a pleasant thought enough that the name by which we have been called shall be familiar on the lips of those who come after us, and the thoughts that wrought themselves out in our intelligence, the emotions that trembled through our frames, shall live themselves over again in the minds and hearts of others.
I think we all, those of us who write in verse or prose, have this constant feeling that we want to be remembered. It means being awake when everyone around us has long since fallen asleep. It’s a nice thought that our names will be familiar to those who come after us, and the ideas that formed in our minds, the emotions that flowed through us, will be experienced again in the minds and hearts of others.
But is there not something of rest, of calm, in the thought of gently and gradually fading away out of human remembrance? What line have we written that was on a level with our conceptions? What page of ours that does not betray some weakness we would fain have left unrecorded? To become a classic and share the life of a language is to be ever open to criticisms, to comparisons, to the caprices of successive generations, to be called into court and stand a trial before a new jury, once or more than once in every century. To be forgotten is to sleep in peace with the undisturbed myriads, no longer subject to the chills and heats, the blasts, the sleet, the dust, which assail in endless succession that shadow of a man which we call his reputation. The line which dying we could wish to blot has been blotted out for us by a hand so tender, so patient, so used to its kindly task, that the page looks as fair as if it had never borne the record of our infirmity or our transgression. And then so few would be wholly content with their legacy of fame. You remember poor Monsieur Jacques's complaint of the favoritism shown to Monsieur Berthier,—it is in that exquisite “Week in a French Country-House.” “Have you seen his room? Have you seen how large it is? Twice as large as mine! He has two jugs, a large one and a little one. I have only one small one. And a tea-service and a gilt Cupid on the top of his looking-glass.” The famous survivor of himself has had his features preserved in a medallion, and the slice of his countenance seems clouded with the thought that it does not belong to a bust; the bust ought to look happy in its niche, but the statue opposite makes it feel as if it had been cheated out of half its personality, and the statue looks uneasy because another stands on a loftier pedestal. But “Ignotus” and “Miserrimus” are of the great majority in that vast assembly, that House of Commons whose members are all peers, where to be forgotten is the standing rule. The dignity of a silent memory is not to be undervalued. Fame is after all a kind of rude handling, and a name that is often on vulgar lips seems to borrow something not to be desired, as the paper money that passes from hand to hand gains somewhat which is a loss thereby. O sweet, tranquil refuge of oblivion, so far as earth is concerned, for us poor blundering, stammering, misbehaving creatures who cannot turn over a leaf of our life's diary without feeling thankful that its failure can no longer stare us in the face! Not unwelcome shall be the baptism of dust which hides forever the name that was given in the baptism of water! We shall have good company whose names are left unspoken by posterity. “Who knows whether the best of men be known, or whether there be not more remarkable persons forgot than any that stand remembered in the known account of time? The greater part must be content to be as though they had not been; to be found in the register of God, not in the record of man. Twenty-seven names make up the first story before the flood, and the recorded names ever since contain not one living century.”
But isn't there something peaceful and calming about the idea of gently fading away from human memory? What have we created that truly matches our vision? What have we written that doesn’t reveal some flaw we wish had remained unmentioned? Becoming a classic and being part of a language means being constantly exposed to criticism, comparisons, and the whims of future generations, having to face a trial before a new jury multiple times within every century. To be forgotten is to rest peacefully with countless others, no longer enduring the ups and downs, the storms, the cold, and the dirt that relentlessly attack the shadow of a person known as their reputation. The line we wish we could erase as we fade away has been wiped clean for us by a hand so gentle, so patient, so familiar with its kind task, that the page appears as flawless as if it had never carried the evidence of our weaknesses or our mistakes. And very few would feel completely satisfied with their legacy of fame. You remember poor Monsieur Jacques complaining about the favoritism towards Monsieur Berthier—it’s in that beautiful “Week in a French Country-House.” “Have you seen his room? Have you seen how big it is? Twice the size of mine! He has two jugs, a big one and a small one. I only have one tiny one. And a tea set and a gilded Cupid on top of his mirror.” The famous survivor of himself has had his features captured in a medallion, and that slice of his face seems clouded with the thought that it doesn’t belong to a bust; the bust should feel happy in its spot, but the statue across from it makes it feel like it’s missing part of its identity, and the statue appears uneasy because another stands on a higher pedestal. But “Ignotus” and “Miserrimus” are among the vast majority in that large gathering, that House of Commons where every member is a peer, where being forgotten is the norm. The dignity of being silently remembered shouldn’t be underestimated. Fame, after all, feels like rough treatment, and a name that’s frequently on common lips seems to carry something undesirable, much like paper money that exchanges hands and loses value. Oh sweet, peaceful refuge of oblivion, as far as the earth is concerned, for us clumsy, stammering, misbehaving beings who can’t turn a page in our life’s diary without feeling grateful that its failures can no longer confront us! The dust that forever covers the name given in the baptism of water will be most welcome! We’ll have good company whose names are overlooked by future generations. “Who knows if the best people are known, or whether there are more remarkable individuals forgotten than any who are recorded in the known history of time? Most must be content to be as if they never existed; to be found in God’s records, not in man’s. Twenty-seven names make up the first story before the flood, and the recorded names since then haven’t even filled one living century.”
I have my moods about such things as the Young Astronomer has, as we all have. There are times when the thought of becoming utterly nothing to the world we knew so well and loved so much is painful and oppressive; we gasp as if in a vacuum, missing the atmosphere of life we have so long been in the habit of breathing. Not the less are there moments when the aching need of repose comes over us and the requiescat in pace, heathen benediction as it is, sounds more sweetly in our ears than all the promises that Fame can hold out to us.
I have my moods about things just like the Young Astronomer does, and so do we all. There are times when the idea of becoming completely insignificant in a world we knew so well and loved so much feels painful and overwhelming; we struggle to breathe as if in a vacuum, missing the life we’ve been accustomed to living. Yet there are also moments when the deep need for rest washes over us, and the phrase "rest in peace," even if it’s a pagan blessing, sounds sweeter to us than all the promises that Fame can offer.
I wonder whether it ever occurred to you to reflect upon another horror there must be in leaving a name behind you. Think what a horrid piece of work the biographers make of a man's private history! Just imagine the subject of one of those extraordinary fictions called biographies coming back and reading the life of himself, written very probably by somebody or other who thought he could turn a penny by doing it, and having the pleasure of seeing
I wonder if you've ever considered the nightmare of leaving a name behind you. Think about how gruesome the biographers make a person's private life! Just picture someone whose life has become one of those strange stories called biographies coming back and reading their own story, likely written by someone just looking to make a quick buck, and having the delight of seeing
“His little bark attendant sail, Pursue the triumph and partake the gale.”
“His little barking sail, Chase the victory and enjoy the wind.”
The ghost of the person condemned to walk the earth in a biography glides into a public library, and goes to the shelf where his mummied life lies in its paper cerements. I can see the pale shadow glancing through the pages and hear the comments that shape themselves in the bodiless intelligence as if they were made vocal by living lips.
The ghost of the person sentenced to wander the earth in a biography slides into a public library and heads to the shelf where his preserved life is laid out in its paper wrappings. I can see the pale shadow skimming through the pages and hear the thoughts forming in the formless mind as if they were voiced by living lips.
“Born in July, 1776!” And my honored father killed at the battle of Bunker Hill! Atrocious libeller! to slander one's family at the start after such a fashion!
“Born in July, 1776!” And my respected father killed at the battle of Bunker Hill! What an outrageous slanderer! To defame one's family right from the beginning like that!
“The death of his parents left him in charge of his Aunt Nancy, whose tender care took the place of those parental attentions which should have guided and protected his infant years, and consoled him for the severity of another relative.”
“The death of his parents left him in the care of his Aunt Nancy, whose loving support filled the gap left by the parental guidance that should have nurtured and safeguarded his early years, and comforted him through the harshness of another relative.”
—Aunt Nancy! It was Aunt Betsey, you fool! Aunt Nancy used to—she has been dead these eighty years, so there is no use in mincing matters—she used to keep a bottle and a stick, and when she had been tasting a drop out of the bottle the stick used to come off the shelf and I had to taste that. And here she is made a saint of, and poor Aunt Betsey, that did everything for me, is slandered by implication as a horrid tyrant.
—Aunt Nancy! It was Aunt Betsey, you idiot! Aunt Nancy used to—she's been dead for eighty years, so there's no point in beating around the bush—she used to keep a bottle and a stick, and when she had a sip from the bottle, the stick would come off the shelf, and I had to have a taste of that. And now Aunt Nancy is being turned into a saint, while poor Aunt Betsey, who did everything for me, is unfairly labeled as a terrible tyrant.
“The subject of this commemorative history was remarkable for a precocious development of intelligence. An old nurse who saw him at the very earliest period of his existence is said to have spoken of him as one of the most promising infants she had seen in her long experience. At school he was equally remarkable, and at a tender age he received a paper adorned with a cut, inscribed REWARD OF MERIT.”
“The subject of this commemorative history was notable for an early development of intelligence. An old nurse who saw him during the very first days of his life is said to have described him as one of the most promising infants she had encountered in her extensive experience. At school, he was just as exceptional, and at a young age, he received a certificate decorated with a cut, labeled REWARD OF MERIT.”
—I don't doubt the nurse said that,—there were several promising children born about that time. As for cuts, I got more from the schoolmaster's rattan than in any other shape. Didn't one of my teachers split a Gunter's scale into three pieces over the palm of my hand? And didn't I grin when I saw the pieces fly? No humbug, now, about my boyhood!
—I don't doubt the nurse said that,—there were several promising children born around that time. As for getting hurt, I got more from the schoolmaster's rattan than from anything else. Didn't one of my teachers split a Gunter's scale into three pieces over my hand? And didn't I grin when I saw the pieces fly? No nonsense, now, about my childhood!
“His personal appearance was not singularly prepossessing. Inconspicuous in stature and unattractive in features.”
“His looks were not particularly appealing. He was average in height and not attractive in features.”
—You misbegotten son of an ourang and grandson of an ascidian (ghosts keep up with science, you observe), what business have you to be holding up my person to the contempt of my posterity? Haven't I been sleeping for this many a year in quiet, and don't the dandelions and buttercups look as yellow over me as over the best-looking neighbor I have in the dormitory? Why do you want to people the minds of everybody that reads your good-for-nothing libel which you call a “biography” with your impudent caricatures of a man who was a better-looking fellow than yourself, I 'll bet you ten to one, a man whom his Latin tutor called fommosus puer when he was only a freshman? If that's what it means to make a reputation,—to leave your character and your person, and the good name of your sainted relatives, and all you were, and all you had and thought and felt, so far as can be gathered by digging you out of your most private records, to be manipulated and bandied about and cheapened in the literary market as a chicken or a turkey or a goose is handled and bargained over at a provision stall, is n't it better to be content with the honest blue slate-stone and its inscription informing posterity that you were a worthy citizen and a respected father of a family?
—You misbegotten son of an orangutan and grandson of a sea squirt (ghosts keep up with science, as you can see), what right do you have to hold me up to the ridicule of my descendants? Haven't I been resting peacefully for all these years, and don't the dandelions and buttercups look just as bright over me as they do over the best-looking neighbor I have in the dorm? Why do you want to fill the minds of everyone who reads your worthless trash that you call a “biography” with your shameless caricatures of a man who was better-looking than you, I’ll bet you ten to one, a man whom his Latin tutor called fommosus puer when he was just a freshman? If that's what it means to build a reputation—to leave your character and your appearance, and the good name of your sainted relatives, and everything you were, owned, thought, and felt, all of it to be manipulated and tossed around and devalued in the literary market like a chicken or turkey or goose at a grocery stall, isn't it better to just be satisfied with a simple blue slate stone that says you were a decent citizen and a respected family man?
—I should like to see any man's biography with corrections and emendations by his ghost. We don't know each other's secrets quite so well as we flatter ourselves we do. We don't always know our own secrets as well as we might. You have seen a tree with different grafts upon it, an apple or a pear tree we will say. In the late summer months the fruit on one bough will ripen; I remember just such a tree, and the early ripening fruit was the Jargonelle. By and by the fruit of another bough will begin to come into condition; the lovely Saint Michael, as I remember, grew on the same stock as the Jargonelle in the tree I am thinking of; and then, when these have all fallen or been gathered, another, we will say the Winter Nelis, has its turn, and so out of the same juices have come in succession fruits of the most varied aspects and flavors. It is the same thing with ourselves, but it takes us a long while to find it out. The various inherited instincts ripen in succession. You may be nine tenths paternal at one period of your life, and nine tenths maternal at another. All at once the traits of some immediate ancestor may come to maturity unexpectedly on one of the branches of your character, just as your features at different periods of your life betray different resemblances to your nearer or more remote relatives.
—I would love to read any man's biography with corrections and edits from his spirit. We don’t know each other’s secrets as well as we like to think we do. We don’t always know our own secrets as well as we could. Think of a tree with different grafts on it, like an apple or a pear tree. In late summer, the fruit on one branch will ripen; I remember such a tree, and the early ripening fruit was the Jargonelle. Eventually, the fruit on another branch will start to ripen; the beautiful Saint Michael, as I recall, grew on the same trunk as the Jargonelle on the tree I’m thinking about. When these fruits have all fallen or been picked, another one, let’s say the Winter Nelis, will take its turn, and so from the same nutrients, a variety of fruits with different appearances and flavors emerge one after another. It’s the same with us, but it takes us a long time to realize it. The various inherited instincts mature in succession. You might be mostly influenced by your father during one phase of your life, and mostly by your mother during another. Suddenly, the traits of a close ancestor might unexpectedly come to the surface in one part of your personality, just as your features at different stages of your life reveal different resemblances to your closer or more distant relatives.
But I want you to let me go back to the Bunker Hill Monument and the dynasty of twenty or thirty centuries whose successive representatives are to sit in the gate, like the Jewish monarchs, while the people shall come by hundreds and by thousands to visit the memorial shaft until the story of Bunker's Hill is as old as that of Marathon.
But I want you to let me go back to the Bunker Hill Monument and the dynasty of twenty or thirty centuries whose successive representatives are to sit at the entrance, like the Jewish kings, while people come in hundreds and thousands to visit the memorial tower until the story of Bunker Hill is as old as that of Marathon.
Would not one like to attend twenty consecutive soirees, at each one of which the lion of the party should be the Man of the Monument, at the beginning of each century, all the way, we will say, from Anno Domini 2000 to Ann. Dom. 4000,—or, if you think the style of dating will be changed, say to Ann. Darwinii (we can keep A. D. you see) 1872? Will the Man be of the Indian type, as President Samuel Stanhope Smith and others have supposed the transplanted European will become by and by? Will he have shortened down to four feet and a little more, like the Esquimaux, or will he have been bred up to seven feet by the use of new chemical diets, ozonized and otherwise improved atmospheres, and animal fertilizers? Let us summon him in imagination and ask him a few questions.
Wouldn't it be exciting to attend twenty back-to-back parties, each featuring the star of the event as the Man of the Monument, at the start of every century—let's say from the year 2000 to the year 4000? Or, if you think the dating method will change, let's say to the year 1872 in the era of Darwin (we can still keep A.D., you see)? Will this man resemble the Indian type, as President Samuel Stanhope Smith and others suggested the transplanted European might eventually become? Will he have shrunk to just over four feet tall, like the Eskimos, or will he have grown to seven feet tall through new chemical diets, ozonated and otherwise improved environments, and animal fertilizers? Let's bring him to mind and ask him a few questions.
Is n't it like splitting a toad out of a rock to think of this man of nineteen or twenty centuries hence coming out from his stony dwelling-place and speaking with us? What are the questions we should ask him? He has but a few minutes to stay. Make out your own list; I will set down a few that come up to me as I write.
Isn't it like trying to break a toad out of a rock to imagine this man from nineteen or twenty centuries in the future coming out from his stony home and talking to us? What questions should we ask him? He only has a few minutes to be here. Make your own list; I'll jot down a few that come to mind as I write.
—What is the prevalent religious creed of civilization?
—What is the main religious belief of society?
—Has the planet met with any accident of importance?
—Has the planet experienced any significant accidents?
—How general is the republican form of government?
—How widespread is the republican form of government?
—Do men fly yet?
—Do men fly now?
—Has the universal language come into use?
—Has the universal language been adopted?
—Is there a new fuel since the English coal-mines have given out?
—Is there a new fuel since the English coal mines have run dry?
—Is the euthanasia a recognized branch of medical science?
—Is euthanasia a recognized branch of medical science?
—Is the oldest inhabitant still living?
—Is the oldest resident still alive?
—Is the Daily Advertiser still published?
—Is the Daily Advertiser still being published?
—And the Evening Transcript?
—What's up with the Evening Transcript?
—Is there much inquiry for the works of a writer of the nineteenth century (Old Style) by—the name of—of—
—Is there a lot of interest in the works of a writer from the nineteenth century (Old Style) by—the name of—of—
My tongue cleaves to the roof of my mouth. I cannot imagine the putting of that question without feeling the tremors which shake a wooer as he falters out the words the answer to which will make him happy or wretched.
My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. I can't picture asking that question without feeling the jitters that hit someone who's trying to find the courage to speak the words that could either make him happy or miserable.
Whose works was I going to question him about, do you ask me? Oh, the writings of a friend of mine, much esteemed by his relatives and others. But it's of no consequence, after all; I think he says he does not care much for posthumous reputation.
Whose works was I going to ask him about, you might wonder? Oh, the writings of a friend of mine, highly regarded by his family and others. But it doesn't really matter; I believe he claims he isn’t too bothered about his legacy after he's gone.
I find something of the same interest in thinking about one of the boarders at our table that I find in my waking dreams concerning the Man of the Monument. This personage is the Register of Deeds. He is an unemotional character, living in his business almost as exclusively as the Scarabee, but without any of that eagerness and enthusiasm which belong to our scientific specialist. His work is largely, principally, I may say, mechanical. He has developed, however, a certain amount of taste for the antiquities of his department, and once in a while brings out some curious result of his investigations into ancient documents. He too belongs to a dynasty which will last as long as there is such a thing as property in land and dwellings. When that is done away with, and we return to the state of villanage, holding our tenement-houses, all to be of the same pattern, of the State, that is to say, of the Tammany Ring which is to take the place of the feudal lord,—the office of Register of Deeds will, I presume, become useless, and the dynasty will be deposed.
I find a similar interest in thinking about one of the boarders at our table as I do in my daydreams about the Man of the Monument. This person is the Register of Deeds. He’s an emotionally detached individual, consumed by his work just like the Scarabee, but without the eagerness and passion that our scientific specialist has. His job is mostly mechanical, to be honest. However, he has developed a bit of an appreciation for the antiquities in his field, and now and then, he shares some interesting findings from his research on ancient documents. He too comes from a lineage that will endure as long as there is property in land and homes. When that goes away, and we revert to a state of servitude, with our homes all being identical, provided by the State—which is to say, by the Tammany Ring replacing the feudal lord—the role of Register of Deeds will likely become obsolete, and that lineage will be overthrown.
As we grow older we think more and more of old persons and of old things and places. As to old persons, it seems as if we never know how much they have to tell until we are old ourselves and they have been gone twenty or thirty years. Once in a while we come upon some survivor of his or her generation that we have overlooked, and feel as if we had recovered one of the lost books of Livy or fished up the golden candlestick from the ooze of the Tiber. So it was the other day after my reminiscences of the old gambrel-roofed house and its visitors. They found an echo in the recollections of one of the brightest and liveliest of my suburban friends, whose memory is exact about everything except her own age, which, there can be no doubt, she makes out a score or two of years more than it really is. Still she was old enough to touch some lights—and a shadow or two—into the portraits I had drawn, which made me wish that she and not I had been the artist who sketched the pictures. Among the lesser regrets that mingle with graver sorrows for the friends of an earlier generation we have lost, are our omissions to ask them so many questions they could have answered easily enough, and would have been pleased to be asked. There! I say to myself sometimes, in an absent mood, I must ask her about that. But she of whom I am now thinking has long been beyond the reach of any earthly questioning, and I sigh to think how easily I could have learned some fact which I should have been happy to have transmitted with pious care to those who are to come after me. How many times I have heard her quote the line about blessings brightening as they take their flight, and how true it proves in many little ways that one never thinks of until it is too late.
As we get older, we start to think more about older people, things, and places. With older individuals, it feels like we never realize how much they have to share until we’re old ourselves and they’ve been gone for twenty or thirty years. Occasionally, we come across some survivor from their generation that we had overlooked, and it feels like we’ve found one of Livy's lost books or retrieved a golden candlestick from the mud of the Tiber. This happened to me the other day after I reminisced about the old gambrel-roofed house and its visitors. Their memories resonated with those of one of my brightest and most vibrant suburban friends, whose memory is spot on about everything except her age, which she definitely inflates by a couple of decades. Still, she was old enough to add some highlights—and a shadow or two—to the memories I shared, making me wish she had been the artist behind the pictures. Among the smaller regrets mixed in with the deeper sorrows for the friends we've lost from an earlier generation are the moments we didn't ask them the many questions they could have easily answered and would have been happy to respond to. There are times when I think to myself, in a distracted moment, that I should ask her about that. But the person I'm thinking of has long been out of reach for any earthly questions, and I sigh at how easily I could have learned some facts that I would have gladly passed down with loving care to those who will come after me. How many times have I heard her quote the line about blessings brightening as they take their flight, and how true it proves in so many small ways we never consider until it’s too late.
The Register of Deeds is not himself advanced in years. But he borrows an air of antiquity from the ancient records which are stored in his sepulchral archives. I love to go to his ossuary of dead transactions, as I would visit the catacombs of Rome or Paris. It is like wandering up the Nile to stray among the shelves of his monumental folios. Here stands a series of volumes, extending over a considerable number of years, all of which volumes are in his handwriting. But as you go backward there is a break, and you come upon the writing of another person, who was getting old apparently, for it is beginning to be a little shaky, and then you know that you have gone back as far as the last days of his predecessor. Thirty or forty years more carry you to the time when this incumbent began the duties of his office; his hand was steady then; and the next volume beyond it in date betrays the work of a still different writer. All this interests me, but I do not see how it is going to interest my reader. I do not feel very happy about the Register of Deeds. What can I do with him? Of what use is he going to be in my record of what I have seen and heard at the breakfast-table? The fact of his being one of the boarders was not so important that I was obliged to speak of him, and I might just as well have drawn on my imagination and not allowed this dummy to take up the room which another guest might have profitably filled at our breakfast-table.
The Register of Deeds isn’t exactly old, but he gives off an old vibe thanks to the ancient records stored in his gloomy archives. I enjoy visiting his collection of outdated transactions as if I’m exploring the catacombs of Rome or Paris. It feels like drifting down the Nile as I navigate through the shelves of his impressive folios. Here’s a series of volumes that spans many years, all written in his handwriting. But as you go back in time, there’s a break, and you find the writing of someone else, who seems to be getting old because it starts to get a bit shaky. Then you realize you’ve reached the last days of his predecessor. Going back another thirty or forty years takes you to when this current guy first started; his handwriting was steady then, and the next volume has the work of yet another writer. All this fascinates me, but I can't see how it will interest my reader. I’m not feeling great about the Register of Deeds. What am I supposed to do with him? How is he relevant to my account of what I've seen and heard at the breakfast table? His being one of the boarders isn’t so significant that I had to mention him, and I could have easily used my imagination instead of letting this filler take up space that another guest could have filled more meaningfully at our breakfast table.
I suppose he will prove a superfluity, but I have got him on my hands, and I mean that he shall be as little in the way as possible. One always comes across people in actual life who have no particular business to be where we find them, and whose right to be at all is somewhat questionable.
I guess he’ll turn out to be unnecessary, but I’ve got him stuck with me, and I plan to keep him out of the way as much as possible. You always run into people in real life who don’t really belong where they are, and whose right to be there is a bit questionable.
I am not going to get rid of the Register of Deeds by putting him out of the way; but I confess I do not see of what service he is going to be to me in my record. I have often found, however, that the Disposer of men and things understands much better than we do how to place his pawns and other pieces on the chess-board of life. A fish more or less in the ocean does not seem to amount to much. It is not extravagant to say that any one fish may be considered a supernumerary. But when Captain Coram's ship sprung a leak and the carpenter could not stop it, and the passengers had made up their minds that it was all over with them, all at once, without any apparent reason, the pumps began gaining on the leak, and the sinking ship to lift herself out of the abyss which was swallowing her up. And what do you think it was that saved the ship, and Captain Coram, and so in due time gave to London that Foundling Hospital which he endowed, and under the floor of which he lies buried? Why, it was that very supernumerary fish, which we held of so little account, but which had wedged itself into the rent of the yawning planks, and served to keep out the water until the leak was finally stopped.
I’m not going to eliminate the Register of Deeds by getting rid of him; however, I admit I don’t see how he’s going to help me with my records. I have often found that the one in charge of people and events knows much better than we do how to position his pieces on the chessboard of life. A fish more or less in the ocean doesn’t seem like a big deal. It’s not unreasonable to say that any single fish could be considered unnecessary. But when Captain Coram’s ship sprang a leak and the carpenter couldn’t fix it, and the passengers had accepted that they were doomed, suddenly, without any clear explanation, the pumps started gaining on the leak, and the sinking ship began to rise out of the depths that were swallowing it. What do you think saved the ship, and Captain Coram, which eventually led to the Foundling Hospital in London that he funded, under which he is buried? It was that very unnecessary fish, which we thought was so insignificant, but which had wedged itself into the gap of the gaping planks, helping to keep out the water until the leak was finally sealed.
I am very sure it was Captain Coram, but I almost hope it was somebody else, in order to give some poor fellow who is lying in wait for the periodicals a chance to correct me. That will make him happy for a month, and besides, he will not want to pick a quarrel about anything else if he has that splendid triumph. You remember Alcibiades and his dog's tail.
I’m pretty sure it was Captain Coram, but I almost hope it was someone else, just to give a poor guy waiting for the magazines a chance to correct me. That would make him happy for a month, and besides, he wouldn’t want to argue about anything else if he has that great victory. You remember Alcibiades and his dog's tail.
Here you have the extracts I spoke of from the manuscript placed in my hands for revision and emendation. I can understand these alternations of feeling in a young person who has been long absorbed in a single pursuit, and in whom the human instincts which have been long silent are now beginning to find expression. I know well what he wants; a great deal better, I think, than he knows himself.
Here are the excerpts I mentioned from the manuscript given to me for review and editing. I can relate to these shifts in emotions in a young person who has been focused on one thing for a long time, and in whom the human instincts that have been quiet for so long are now starting to surface. I understand what he wants very well; probably better than he knows himself.
WIND-CLOUDS AND STAR-DRIFTS. II Brief glimpses of the bright celestial spheres, False lights, false shadows, vague, uncertain gleams, Pale vaporous mists, wan streaks of lurid flame, The climbing of the upward-sailing cloud, The sinking of the downward-falling star, All these are pictures of the changing moods Borne through the midnight stillness of my soul. Here am I, bound upon this pillared rock, Prey to the vulture of a vast desire That feeds upon my life. I burst my bands And steal a moment's freedom from the beak, The clinging talons and the shadowing plumes; Then comes the false enchantress, with her song; “Thou wouldst not lay thy forehead in the dust Like the base herd that feeds and breeds and dies! Lo, the fair garlands that I weave for thee, Unchanging as the belt Orion wears, Bright as the jewels of the seven-starred Crown, The spangled stream of Berenice's hair!” And so she twines the fetters with the flowers Around my yielding limbs, and the fierce bird Stoops to his quarry,—then to feed his rage Of ravening hunger I must drain my blood And let the dew-drenched, poison-breeding night Steal all the freshness from my fading cheek, And leave its shadows round my caverned eyes. All for a line in some unheeded scroll; All for a stone that tells to gaping clowns, “Here lies a restless wretch beneath a clod Where squats the jealous nightmare men call Fame!” I marvel not at him who scorns his kind And thinks not sadly of the time foretold When the old hulk we tread shall be a wreck, A slag, a cinder drifting through the sky Without its crew of fools! We live too long And even so are not content to die, But load the mould that covers up our bones With stones that stand like beggars by the road And show death's grievous wound and ask for tears; Write our great books to teach men who we are, Sing our fine songs that tell in artful phrase The secrets of our lives, and plead and pray For alms of memory with the after time, Those few swift seasons while the earth shall wear Its leafy summers, ere its core grows cold And the moist life of all that breathes shall die; Or as the new-born seer, perchance more wise, Would have us deem, before its growing mass, Pelted with stardust, atoned with meteor-balls, Heats like a hammered anvil, till at last Man and his works and all that stirred itself Of its own motion, in the fiery glow Turns to a flaming vapor, and our orb Shines a new sun for earths that shall be born. I am as old as Egypt to myself, Brother to them that squared the pyramids By the same stars I watch. I read the page Where every letter is a glittering world, With them who looked from Shinar's clay-built towers, Ere yet the wanderer of the Midland sea Had missed the fallen sister of the seven. I dwell in spaces vague, remote, unknown, Save to the silent few, who, leaving earth, Quit all communion with their living time. I lose myself in that ethereal void, Till I have tired my wings and long to fill My breast with denser air, to stand, to walk With eyes not raised above my fellow-men. Sick of my unwalled, solitary realm, I ask to change the myriad lifeless worlds I visit as mine own for one poor patch Of this dull spheroid and a little breath To shape in word or deed to serve my kind. Was ever giant's dungeon dug so deep, Was ever tyrant's fetter forged so strong, Was e'er such deadly poison in the draught The false wife mingles for the trusting fool, As he whose willing victim is himself, Digs, forges, mingles, for his captive soul?
WIND-CLOUDS AND STAR-DRIFTS. II Quick glimpses of the bright celestial spheres, Misleading lights, false shadows, vague, uncertain glimmers, Pale, misty clouds, faint streaks of intense flame, The rise of the upward-sailing cloud, The fall of the downward-falling star, All these are images of the shifting moods Carried through the midnight stillness of my soul. Here I am, trapped on this towering rock, Victim to the vulture of a great desire That feeds on my life. I break my chains And steal a moment's freedom from the beak, The gripping talons, and the shadowy feathers; Then the false enchantress comes with her song; “You wouldn’t bow your head to the ground Like the lowly herd that eats and breeds and dies! Look at the beautiful garlands I weave for you, Unchanging as the belt Orion wears, Bright as the jewels of the seven-starred Crown, The glittering stream of Berenice's hair!” And so she wraps the chains with flowers Around my yielding limbs, and the fierce bird Dives for his prey—then to satisfy his hunger I must drain my blood And let the dew-drenched, poison-breeding night Steal all the freshness from my fading cheeks, And leave shadows around my hollow eyes. All for a line in some unnoticed scroll; All for a stone that tells to gaping fools, “Here lies a restless wretch beneath the earth Where crouches the jealous nightmare called Fame!” I don't marvel at those who scorn their kind And don’t feel sad about the time foretold When this old mass we tread shall be a wreck, A slag, a cinder drifting through the sky Without its crew of fools! We live too long And even so are not satisfied to die, But load the soil that covers our bones With stones that stand like beggars by the road Displaying death's painful wound and asking for tears; Write our great books to teach men who we are, Sing our fine songs that tell in skillful phrases The secrets of our lives, and plead and pray For remembrance from those who follow, Those few brief seasons while the earth wears Its leafy summers, before its core cools And all living things shall die; Or as the newly born seer, perhaps wiser, Would have us think, before its growing mass, Bombarded with stardust, reconciled with meteorites, Heats like a hammered anvil, until at last Man and his works and everything that moved of its own accord, in the fiery glow turns to a flaming vapor, and our planet shines as a new sun for worlds yet to be born. I am as old as Egypt to myself, A brother to those who built the pyramids By the same stars I watch. I read the page Where every letter is a shining world, With those who looked from Shinar's clay-built towers, Long before the wanderer of the Midland sea Had lost the fallen sister of the seven. I dwell in spaces vague, remote, unknown, Known only to the silent few, who, leaving earth, Abandon all connection with their living time. I lose myself in that ethereal void, Until I’ve tired my wings and long to fill My chest with denser air, to stand, to walk With eyes not raised above my fellow men. Tired of my unbounded, solitary realm, I yearn to trade the myriad lifeless worlds I visit as my own for one small patch Of this dull sphere and a little breath To shape in word or deed to serve my kind. Was there ever a giant's dungeon dug so deep, Was there ever a tyrant's chain forged so strong, Was there ever such deadly poison in the drink The deceitful wife mixes for the trusting fool, As he whose willing victim is himself, Digs, forges, mixes, for his captive soul?
VII
I was very sure that the old Master was hard at work about something,—he is always very busy with something,—but I mean something particular.
I was pretty sure that the old Master was focused on something important—he's always busy with something—but I mean something specific.
Whether it was a question of history or of cosmogony, or whether he was handling a test-tube or a blow-pipe; what he was about I did not feel sure; but I took it for granted that it was some crucial question or other he was at work on, some point bearing on the thought of the time. For the Master, I have observed, is pretty sagacious in striking for the points where his work will be like to tell. We all know that class of scientific laborers to whom all facts are alike nourishing mental food, and who seem to exercise no choice whatever, provided only they can get hold of these same indiscriminate facts in quantity sufficient. They browse on them, as the animal to which they would not like to be compared browses on his thistles. But the Master knows the movement of the age he belongs to; and if he seems to be busy with what looks like a small piece of trivial experimenting, one may feel pretty sure that he knows what he is about, and that his minute operations are looking to a result that will help him towards attaining his great end in life,—an insight, so far as his faculties and opportunities will allow, into that order of things which he believes he can study with some prospect of taking in its significance.
Whether he was exploring history or cosmology, or working with a test tube or a blowpipe, I wasn’t entirely sure what he was up to. Still, I assumed it was some important question he was tackling, something relevant to the thinking of the time. I’ve noticed that the Master has a knack for focusing on the aspects of his work that will yield significant results. We all know that type of scientist who treats all facts as equally useful, having no real preference as long as they can gather a sufficient amount of data. They munch on these facts like an animal wouldn’t mind grazing on thistles. But the Master understands the trends of his era; if he appears to be engaged in what seems like a trivial experiment, you can be fairly certain that he knows exactly what he’s doing, and that his detailed work is directed toward a greater purpose in life—gaining insight, as far as his abilities and resources allow, into the nature of things that he believes he can study and understand.
I became so anxious to know what particular matter he was busy with, that I had to call upon him to satisfy my curiosity. It was with a little trepidation that I knocked at his door. I felt a good deal as one might have felt on disturbing an alchemist at his work, at the very moment, it might be, when he was about to make projection.
I became so eager to find out what he was working on that I had to go see him to satisfy my curiosity. I knocked on his door with a bit of nervousness. I felt a lot like someone who might be interrupting an alchemist in the middle of a critical experiment, just at the moment he was about to make a breakthrough.
—Come in!—said the Master in his grave, massive tones.
—Come in!—said the Master in his serious, deep voice.
I passed through the library with him into a little room evidently devoted to his experiments.
I walked through the library with him into a small room clearly meant for his experiments.
—You have come just at the right moment,—he said.—Your eyes are better than mine. I have been looking at this flask, and I should like to have you look at it.
—You’ve arrived at the perfect time,—he said.—Your eyesight is better than mine. I’ve been examining this flask, and I’d like you to take a look at it.
It was a small matrass, as one of the elder chemists would have called it, containing a fluid, and hermetically sealed. He held it up at the window; perhaps you remember the physician holding a flask to the light in Gerard Douw's “Femme hydropique”; I thought of that fine figure as I looked at him. Look!—said he,—is it clear or cloudy?
It was a small vial, as one of the older chemists would have called it, containing a liquid and sealed tightly. He held it up to the window; maybe you recall the doctor holding a flask to the light in Gerard Douw's “Femme hydropique”; I thought of that striking image as I watched him. Look!—he said—is it clear or cloudy?
—You need not ask me that,—I answered. It is very plainly turbid. I should think that some sediment had been shaken up in it. What is it, Elixir Vitae or Aurum potabile?
—You don’t need to ask me that, —I replied. It’s obviously muddy. I’d guess that some sediment has been stirred up in it. What is it, Elixir Vitae or Aurum potabile?
—Something that means more than alchemy ever did! Boiled just three hours, and as clear as a bell until within the last few days; since then has been clouding up.
—Something that means more than alchemy ever did! It simmered for just three hours and was as clear as a bell until a few days ago; since then, it has started to get cloudy.
—I began to form a pretty shrewd guess at the meaning of all this, and to think I knew very nearly what was coming next. I was right in my conjecture. The Master broke off the sealed end of his little flask, took out a small portion of the fluid on a glass rod, and placed it on a slip of glass in the usual way for a microscopic examination.
—I started to get a pretty good idea of what all this meant, and I thought I had a pretty clear idea of what would happen next. I was right in my guess. The Master broke the sealed end of his small flask, took out a small amount of the liquid on a glass rod, and placed it on a glass slide in the usual way for a microscopic examination.
—One thousand diameters,—he said, as he placed it on the stage of the microscope.—We shall find signs of life, of course.—He bent over the instrument and looked but an instant.
—One thousand times zoomed in,—he said, as he put it on the stage of the microscope.—We’ll definitely find signs of life, of course.—He leaned over the instrument and looked for just a moment.
—There they are!—he exclaimed,—look in.
—There they are!—he exclaimed,—take a look.
I looked in and saw some objects:
I looked in and saw some things:
The straight linear bodies were darting backward and forward in every direction. The wavy ones were wriggling about like eels or water-snakes. The round ones were spinning on their axes and rolling in every direction. All of them were in a state of incessant activity, as if perpetually seeking something and never finding it.
The straight linear shapes were zipping back and forth in every direction. The wavy ones were twisting and turning like eels or water snakes. The round ones were spinning on their axes and rolling in all directions. They were all in a constant state of movement, as if they were always searching for something and never quite finding it.
They are tough, the germs of these little bodies, said the Master. —Three hours' boiling has n't killed 'em. Now, then, let us see what has been the effect of six hours' boiling.
They’re tough, these germs from these little bodies, said the Master. —Three hours of boiling hasn’t killed them. Now, let’s see what happens after six hours of boiling.
He took up another flask just like the first, containing fluid and hermetically sealed in the same way.
He picked up another flask just like the first, filled with liquid and sealed tightly in the same way.
—Boiled just three hours longer than the other, he said,—six hours in all. This is the experimentum crucis. Do you see any cloudiness in it?
—Boiled just three hours longer than the other, he said,—six hours in total. This is the critical experiment. Do you see any cloudiness in it?
—Not a sign of it; it is as clear as crystal, except that there may be a little sediment at the bottom.
—Not a hint of it; it's as clear as day, except there might be a bit of sediment at the bottom.
—That is nothing. The liquid is clear. We shall find no signs of life.—He put a minute drop of the liquid under the microscope as before. Nothing stirred. Nothing to be seen but a clear circle of light. We looked at it again and again, but with the same result.
—That's nothing. The liquid is clear. We won’t find any signs of life.—He placed a tiny drop of the liquid under the microscope like before. Nothing moved. There was nothing to see except a clear circle of light. We looked at it over and over, but got the same result.
—Six hours kill 'em all, according to this experiment,—said the Master.—Good as far as it goes. One more negative result. Do you know what would have happened if that liquid had been clouded, and we had found life in the sealed flask? Sir, if that liquid had held life in it the Vatican would have trembled to hear it, and there would have been anxious questionings and ominous whisperings in the halls of Lambeth palace! The accepted cosmogonies on trial, sir!
—Six hours and they’re all dead, based on this experiment,—said the Master. —That’s good as far as it goes. Just one more negative result. Do you know what would have happened if that liquid had been cloudy and we had found life in the sealed flask? Sir, if that liquid had contained life, the Vatican would have been shaken by it, and there would have been worried questions and dark whispers in the halls of Lambeth palace! The accepted theories of the universe would be on trial, sir!
Traditions, sanctities, creeds, ecclesiastical establishments, all shaking to know whether my little sixpenny flask of fluid looks muddy or not! I don't know whether to laugh or shudder. The thought of an oecumenical council having its leading feature dislocated by my trifling experiment! The thought, again, of the mighty revolution in human beliefs and affairs that might grow out of the same insignificant little phenomenon. A wine-glassful of clear liquid growing muddy. If we had found a wriggle, or a zigzag, or a shoot from one side to the other, in this last flask, what a scare there would have been, to be sure, in the schools of the prophets! Talk about your megatherium and your megalosaurus,—what are these to the bacterium and the vibrio? These are the dreadful monsters of today. If they show themselves where they have no business, the little rascals frighten honest folks worse than ever people were frightened by the Dragon of Rhodes!
Traditions, sacred beliefs, religious rules, all trembling at the thought of whether my little sixpenny flask of liquid looks cloudy or not! I can't decide whether to laugh or be uneasy. The idea of an ecumenical council being thrown off course because of my trivial experiment! And considering the huge shift in human beliefs and matters that could come from such a tiny little event. A wine glass of clear liquid turning cloudy. If we had seen a wiggle, or a zigzag, or something shoot from one side to the other in that last flask, the panic in the schools of prophets would have been incredible! Forget about your megatherium and your megalosaurus—what do they compare to the bacterium and the vibrio? These are the real terrifying creatures of today. If they pop up where they don’t belong, these little troublemakers scare honest people more than anyone ever was frightened by the Dragon of Rhodes!
The Master gets going sometimes, there is no denying it, until his imagination runs away with him. He had been trying, as the reader sees, one of those curious experiments in spontaneous generation, as it is called, which have been so often instituted of late years, and by none more thoroughly than by that eminent American student of nature (Professor Jeffries Wyman) whose process he had imitated with a result like his.
The Master sometimes gets carried away, and there's no denying it, until his imagination takes over. As the reader can see, he had been attempting one of those intriguing experiments in spontaneous generation, as it's called, which have been conducted frequently in recent years, and none more thoroughly than by that renowned American naturalist (Professor Jeffries Wyman), whose method he had copied with similar results.
We got talking over these matters among us the next morning at the breakfast-table.
We started discussing these issues among ourselves the next morning at the breakfast table.
We must agree they couldn't stand six hours' boiling,—I said.
We have to agree they couldn't handle six hours of boiling, I said.
—Good for the Pope of Rome!—exclaimed the Master.
—Good for the Pope of Rome!—said the Master.
—The Landlady drew back with a certain expression of dismay in her countenance. She hoped he did n't want the Pope to make any more converts in this country. She had heard a sermon only last Sabbath, and the minister had made it out, she thought, as plain as could be, that the Pope was the Man of Sin and that the Church of Rome was—Well, there was very strong names applied to her in Scripture.
—The Landlady stepped back, looking a bit dismayed. She hoped he didn’t want the Pope to make any more converts in this country. She had heard a sermon just last Sunday, and she thought the minister made it very clear that the Pope was the Man of Sin and that the Church of Rome was—well, there were some pretty harsh names used for it in Scripture.
What was good for the Pope was good for your minister, too, my dear madam,—said the Master. Good for everybody that is afraid of what people call “science.” If it should prove that dead things come to life of themselves, it would be awkward, you know, because then somebody will get up and say if one dead thing made itself alive another might, and so perhaps the earth peopled itself without any help. Possibly the difficulty wouldn't be so great as many people suppose. We might perhaps find room for a Creator after all, as we do now, though we see a little brown seed grow till it sucks up the juices of half an acre of ground, apparently all by its own inherent power. That does not stagger us; I am not sure that it would if Mr. Crosses or Mr. Weekes's acarus should show himself all of a sudden, as they said he did, in certain mineral mixtures acted on by electricity.
What’s good for the Pope is good for your minister too, my dear madam,” said the Master. It’s good for anyone who’s afraid of what people call “science.” If it turns out that dead things can come to life on their own, it would be awkward, you know, because then someone might say if one dead thing brought itself to life, maybe another could too, and perhaps the earth populated itself without any help. The problem might not be as big as many people think. We might still be able to believe in a Creator, just like we do now, even though we watch a little brown seed grow and absorb the nutrients from half an acre of land, seemingly all by its own natural ability. That doesn’t disturb us; I’m not sure it would if Mr. Crosses or Mr. Weekes’s acarus suddenly appeared, as they said he did, in certain mineral mixtures affected by electricity.
The Landlady was off soundings, and looking vacant enough by this time.
The landlady seemed distracted and empty-headed by this point.
The Master turned to me.—Don't think too much of the result of our one experiment. It means something, because it confirms those other experiments of which it was a copy; but we must remember that a hundred negatives don't settle such a question. Life does get into the world somehow. You don't suppose Adam had the cutaneous unpleasantness politely called psora, do you?
The Master turned to me. "Don’t put too much weight on the outcome of our single experiment. It matters because it backs up those other experiments it was based on; but we have to remember that a hundred negative results don’t really answer that question. Life does emerge in the world somehow. You don’t really think Adam had the skin condition politely referred to as psora, do you?"
—Hardly,—I answered.—He must have been a walking hospital if he carried all the maladies about him which have plagued his descendants.
—Barely,—I replied.—He must have been a walking clinic if he carried all the illnesses that have troubled his descendants.
—Well, then, how did the little beast which is peculiar to that special complaint intrude himself into the Order of Things? You don't suppose there was a special act of creation for the express purpose of bestowing that little wretch on humanity, do you?
—Well, then, how did that little creature that’s specific to that unique issue become a part of the natural order? You don’t really think there was a special act of creation just to give that little troublemaker to humanity, do you?
I thought, on the whole, I would n't answer that question.
I thought, overall, I wouldn't answer that question.
—You and I are at work on the same problem, said the Young Astronomer to the Master.—I have looked into a microscope now and then, and I have seen that perpetual dancing about of minute atoms in a fluid, which you call molecular motion. Just so, when I look through my telescope I see the star-dust whirling about in the infinite expanse of ether; or if I do not see its motion, I know that it is only on account of its immeasurable distance. Matter and motion everywhere; void and rest nowhere. You ask why your restless microscopic atoms may not come together and become self-conscious and self-moving organisms. I ask why my telescopic star-dust may not come together and grow and organize into habitable worlds,—the ripened fruit on the branches of the tree Yggdrasil, if I may borrow from our friend the Poet's province. It frightens people, though, to hear the suggestion that worlds shape themselves from star-mist. It does not trouble them at all to see the watery spheres that round themselves into being out of the vapors floating over us; they are nothing but raindrops. But if a planet can grow as a rain-drop grows, why then—It was a great comfort to these timid folk when Lord Rosse's telescope resolved certain nebula into star-clusters. Sir John Herschel would have told them that this made little difference in accounting for the formation of worlds by aggregation, but at any rate it was a comfort to them.
—You and I are working on the same problem, said the Young Astronomer to the Master.—I've looked through a microscope occasionally, and I’ve seen the constant movement of tiny atoms in a liquid, which you refer to as molecular motion. Similarly, when I look through my telescope, I see the stardust swirling in the vast emptiness of space; or if I can’t see its movement, I know it’s only because of its immeasurable distance. Matter and motion are everywhere; there’s no void or stillness. You wonder why your restless microscopic atoms can't come together and become self-aware, self-moving organisms. I wonder why my telescopic stardust can’t come together to form and organize into livable planets—like the ripe fruit on the branches of Yggdrasil, if I may borrow from our friend the Poet's realm. It scares people to hear the idea that worlds might form from stardust. They aren’t bothered at all by the watery spheres that take shape from the vapors around us; they just see them as raindrops. But if a planet can develop like a raindrop does, then—It was very reassuring for these fearful individuals when Lord Rosse's telescope revealed certain nebulae as star clusters. Sir John Herschel would have told them that this made little difference in explaining how worlds form through aggregation, but at least it was comforting for them.
—These people have always been afraid of the astronomers,—said the Master.—They were shy, you know, of the Copernican system, for a long while; well they might be with an oubliette waiting for them if they ventured to think that the earth moved round the sun. Science settled that point finally for them, at length, and then it was all right,—when there was no use in disputing the fact any longer. By and by geology began turning up fossils that told extraordinary stories about the duration of life upon our planet. What subterfuges were not used to get rid of their evidence! Think of a man seeing the fossilized skeleton of an animal split out of a quarry, his teeth worn down by mastication, and the remains of food still visible in his interior, and, in order to get rid of a piece of evidence contrary to the traditions he holds to, seriously maintaining that this skeleton never belonged to a living creature, but was created with just these appearances; a make-believe, a sham, a Barnum's-mermaid contrivance to amuse its Creator and impose upon his intelligent children! And now people talk about geological epochs and hundreds of millions of years in the planet's history as calmly as if they were discussing the age of their deceased great-grandmothers. Ten or a dozen years ago people said Sh! Sh! if you ventured to meddle with any question supposed to involve a doubt of the generally accepted Hebrew traditions. To-day such questions are recognized as perfectly fair subjects for general conversation; not in the basement story, perhaps, or among the rank and file of the curbstone congregations, but among intelligent and educated persons. You may preach about them in your pulpit, you may lecture about them, you may talk about them with the first sensible-looking person you happen to meet, you may write magazine articles about them, and the editor need not expect to receive remonstrances from angry subscribers and withdrawals of subscriptions, as he would have been sure to not a great many years ago. Why, you may go to a tea-party where the clergyman's wife shows her best cap and his daughters display their shining ringlets, and you will hear the company discussing the Darwinian theory of the origin of the human race as if it were as harmless a question as that of the lineage of a spinster's lapdog. You may see a fine lady who is as particular in her genuflections as any Buddhist or Mahometan saint in his manifestations of reverence, who will talk over the anthropoid ape, the supposed founder of the family to which we belong, and even go back with you to the acephalous mollusk, first cousin to the clams and mussels, whose rudimental spine was the hinted prophecy of humanity; all this time never dreaming, apparently, that what she takes for a matter of curious speculation involves the whole future of human progress and destiny.
—These people have always been afraid of the astronomers,—said the Master.—They were hesitant about the Copernican system for a long time; understandably so, considering there was a dungeon waiting for anyone who dared to think the earth revolved around the sun. Science eventually settled that issue for them, and then it was fine — once there was no more reason to argue about it. Over time, geology began to uncover fossils that revealed incredible stories about how long life has existed on our planet. What tricks weren't employed to dismiss this evidence! Imagine a person discovering the fossilized skeleton of an animal that split out of a quarry, its teeth worn from eating, and remnants of food still visible inside it, and to deny this evidence that contradicted his beliefs, he insists that this skeleton never belonged to a living creature but was created with those specific features; a hoax, a façade, like a Barnum's mermaid meant to entertain its Creator and fool His intelligent offspring! And now people talk about geological eras and hundreds of millions of years in the planet's history as casually as if they were discussing the age of their late great-grandmothers. Just ten or twelve years ago, people would shush you if you dared to bring up any topic that might challenge widely accepted Hebrew traditions. Today, such topics are considered completely acceptable for conversation; not maybe in the lower classes, or among the average folks on the street, but among educated and thoughtful individuals. You can preach about them from your pulpit, lecture on them, discuss them with any sensible-looking person you meet, write articles about them for magazines, and editors won’t expect to receive complaints from angry subscribers or cancellations like they would have a few years ago. Why, you can go to a tea party where the clergyman's wife showcases her best hat and his daughters flaunt their shiny curls, and you’ll hear guests discussing the Darwinian theory of human origins as if it were as safe a topic as the lineage of a spinster's lapdog. You might encounter a lady who is as conscientious in her bows as any Buddhist or Muslim saint in their displays of reverence, discussing the anthropoid ape, the supposed ancestor of our family, and even tracing back to the headless mollusk, a relative to clams and mussels, whose rudimentary spine hinted at humanity's future; all the while, seemingly unaware that what she views as mere curiosity has implications for the entire future of human progress and destiny.
I can't help thinking that if we had talked as freely as we can and do now in the days of the first boarder at this table,—I mean the one who introduced it to the public,—it would have sounded a good deal more aggressively than it does now.—The old Master got rather warm in talking; perhaps the consciousness of having a number of listeners had something to do with it.
I can't help feeling that if we had talked as openly as we can and do now back in the days of the first boarder at this table—I'm referring to the one who brought it to the public—it would have come across much more forcefully than it does today. The old Master got pretty heated while he was speaking; maybe being aware of having a bunch of listeners played a part in that.
—This whole business is an open question,—he said,—and there is no use in saying, “Hush! don't talk about such things!” People do talk about 'em everywhere; and if they don't talk about 'em they think about 'em, and that is worse,—if there is anything bad about such questions, that is. If for the Fall of man, science comes to substitute the RISE of man, sir, it means the utter disintegration of all the spiritual pessimisms which have been like a spasm in the heart and a cramp in the intellect of men for so many centuries. And yet who dares to say that it is not a perfectly legitimate and proper question to be discussed, without the slightest regard to the fears or the threats of Pope or prelate?
—This whole situation is an open question,—he said,—and there’s no point in saying, “Shh! don’t talk about these things!” People discuss them everywhere; and if they don’t talk about them, they think about them, which is worse—if there’s anything wrong with these questions, that is. If science replaces the Fall of man with the RISE of man, sir, it means the complete breakdown of all the spiritual pessimisms that have been like a spasm in the heart and a cramp in the minds of people for so many centuries. And yet, who dares to say that it’s not a completely legitimate and valid question to discuss, without any regard for the fears or threats from the Pope or bishop?
Sir, I believe,—the Master rose from his chair as he spoke, and said in a deep and solemn tone, but without any declamatory vehemence,—sir, I believe that we are at this moment in what will be recognized not many centuries hence as one of the late watches in the night of the dark ages. There is a twilight ray, beyond question. We know something of the universe, a very little, and, strangely enough, we know most of what is farthest from us. We have weighed the planets and analyzed the flames of the—sun and stars. We predict their movements as if they were machines we ourselves had made and regulated. We know a good deal about the earth on which we live. But the study of man has been so completely subjected to our preconceived opinions, that we have got to begin all over again. We have studied anthropology through theology; we have now to begin the study of theology through anthropology. Until we have exhausted the human element in every form of belief, and that can only be done by what we may call comparative spiritual anatomy, we cannot begin to deal with the alleged extra-human elements without blundering into all imaginable puerilities. If you think for one moment that there is not a single religion in the world which does not come to us through the medium of a preexisting language; and if you remember that this language embodies absolutely nothing but human conceptions and human passions, you will see at once that every religion presupposes its own elements as already existing in those to whom it is addressed. I once went to a church in London and heard the famous Edward Irving preach, and heard some of his congregation speak in the strange words characteristic of their miraculous gift of tongues. I had a respect for the logical basis of this singular phenomenon. I have always thought it was natural that any celestial message should demand a language of its own, only to be understood by divine illumination. All human words tend, of course, to stop short in human meaning. And the more I hear the most sacred terms employed, the more I am satisfied that they have entirely and radically different meanings in the minds of those who use them. Yet they deal with them as if they were as definite as mathematical quantities or geometrical figures. What would become of arithmetic if the figure 2 meant three for one man and five for another and twenty for a third, and all the other numerals were in the same way variable quantities? Mighty intelligent correspondence business men would have with each other! But how is this any worse than the difference of opinion which led a famous clergyman to say to a brother theologian, “Oh, I see, my dear sir, your God is my Devil.”
Sir, I believe— the Master stood up from his chair as he spoke and said in a deep, serious tone, but without any dramatic emphasis—sir, I believe we are currently experiencing what will be seen in a few centuries as one of the last watches of the night during the dark ages. There is definitely a hint of dawn. We know a bit about the universe, very little really, and, oddly enough, we know most about what is farthest from us. We have measured the planets and examined the flames of the sun and stars. We can predict their movements as if they were machines we created and controlled ourselves. We understand quite a lot about the earth we inhabit. However, our study of humanity has been so strongly influenced by our preconceived notions that we need to start from scratch. We have approached anthropology through theology; now we need to study theology through anthropology. Until we fully explore the human element in every belief system—something we might call comparative spiritual anatomy—we can't engage with the so-called extra-human elements without stumbling into all sorts of childish mistakes. If you take a moment to consider that there isn't a single religion in the world that doesn't come to us through a preexisting language, and if you remember that this language only reflects human concepts and emotions, you'll quickly realize that every religion assumes its own elements already exist within its followers. I once attended a church in London and listened to the well-known Edward Irving preach, and I heard some of his congregation speak in the unusual words typical of their miraculous gift of tongues. I respected the logical foundation of this unusual phenomenon. I've always believed it was natural for any divine message to require its own language, one that could only be understood through divine insight. All human words inevitably fall short of complete human meaning. The more I hear the most sacred terms used, the more I’m convinced they have entirely different meanings for those who use them. Yet, they treat these terms as if they were as clear as mathematical values or geometric shapes. What would happen to arithmetic if the number 2 meant three for one person, five for another, and twenty for yet another, with all other numbers being similarly inconsistent? What a clever exchange of ideas business people would have! But how is this any worse than the difference of opinion that led a famous clergyman to remark to a fellow theologian, “Oh, I see, my dear sir, your God is my Devil”?
Man has been studied proudly, contemptuously, rather, from the point of view supposed to be authoritatively settled. The self-sufficiency of egotistic natures was never more fully shown than in the expositions of the worthlessness and wretchedness of their fellow-creatures given by the dogmatists who have “gone back,” as the vulgar phrase is, on their race, their own flesh and blood. Did you ever read what Mr. Bancroft says about Calvin in his article on Jonathan Edwards?—and mighty well said it is too, in my judgment. Let me remind you of it, whether you have read it or not. “Setting himself up over against the privileged classes, he, with a loftier pride than theirs, revealed the power of a yet higher order of nobility, not of a registered ancestry of fifteen generations, but one absolutely spotless in its escutcheon, preordained in the council chamber of eternity.” I think you'll find I have got that sentence right, word for word, and there 's a great deal more in it than many good folks who call themselves after the reformer seem to be aware of. The Pope put his foot on the neck of kings, but Calvin and his cohort crushed the whole human race under their heels in the name of the Lord of Hosts. Now, you see, the point that people don't understand is the absolute and utter humility of science, in opposition to this doctrinal self-sufficiency. I don't doubt this may sound a little paradoxical at first, but I think you will find it is all right. You remember the courtier and the monarch,—Louis the Fourteenth, wasn't it?—never mind, give the poor fellows that live by setting you right a chance. “What o'clock is it?” says the king. “Just whatever o'clock your Majesty pleases,” says the courtier. I venture to say the monarch was a great deal more humble than the follower, who pretended that his master was superior to such trifling facts as the revolution of the planet. It was the same thing, you remember, with King Canute and the tide on the sea-shore. The king accepted the scientific fact of the tide's rising. The loyal hangers-on, who believed in divine right, were too proud of the company they found themselves in to make any such humiliating admission. But there are people, and plenty of them, to-day, who will dispute facts just as clear to those who have taken the pains to learn what is known about them, as that of the tide's rising. They don't like to admit these facts, because they throw doubt upon some of their cherished opinions. We are getting on towards the last part of this nineteenth century. What we have gained is not so much in positive knowledge, though that is a good deal, as it is in the freedom of discussion of every subject that comes within the range of observation and inference. How long is it since Mrs. Piozzi wrote,—“Let me hope that you will not pursue geology till it leads you into doubts destructive of all comfort in this world and all happiness in the next”?
Man has been studied with a mix of pride and disdain, typically from a perspective that's supposed to be definitively settled. The self-sufficiency of egotistical people has never been more clearly demonstrated than in the claims of worthlessness and misery they make about their fellow humans, as articulated by the dogmatists who have, as the saying goes, turned their backs on their own race, their own flesh and blood. Have you ever read what Mr. Bancroft says about Calvin in his article on Jonathan Edwards?—and I think it's very well said. Let me remind you of it, whether you've read it or not. “Positioning himself against the privileged classes, he, with a higher pride than theirs, revealed the power of a nobility of a much higher order, not one based on a long lineage, but one completely untainted, preordained in the council chamber of eternity.” I believe I've quoted that sentence correctly, and there is a lot more in it than many good people who identify with the reformer seem to realize. The Pope exerted control over kings, but Calvin and his followers oppressed the entire human race in the name of the Lord of Hosts. Now, the point that people often overlook is the absolute humility of science, which contrasts sharply with this doctrinal self-assuredness. I understand this might sound a bit paradoxical at first, but I think you'll find it holds true. Remember the courtier and the monarch—was it Louis the Fourteenth?—never mind, let the poor guys who make a living by correcting you have their moment. “What time is it?” asks the king. “Whatever time Your Majesty wants,” replies the courtier. I would say the king showed much more humility than the follower, who pretended his master was above such trivial matters as the planet's rotation. It was the same with King Canute and the tide at the seashore. The king recognized the scientific fact of the rising tide. The loyal followers, who believed in divine right, were too proud of their royal association to make such a humbling admission. Yet there are many people today who dispute facts that are as clear to those who have taken the time to learn about them as the tide's rising. They resist accepting these facts because they challenge some of their deeply held beliefs. As we approach the end of the nineteenth century, what we've gained isn't just in positive knowledge, though that is quite valuable, but in the freedom to discuss every topic within the realm of observation and inference. How long has it been since Mrs. Piozzi wrote, “Let me hope that you will not pursue geology until it leads you into doubts that destroy all comfort in this world and all happiness in the next”?
The Master paused and I remained silent, for I was thinking things I could not say.
The Master paused and I stayed quiet, as I was thinking things I couldn’t express.
—It is well always to have a woman near by when one is talking on this class of subjects. Whether there will be three or four women to one man in heaven is a question which I must leave to those who talk as if they knew all about the future condition of the race to answer. But very certainly there is much more of hearty faith, much more of spiritual life, among women than among men, in this world. They need faith to support them more than men do, for they have a great deal less to call them out of themselves, and it comes easier to them, for their habitual state of dependence teaches them to trust in others. When they become voters, if they ever do, it may be feared that the pews will lose what the ward-rooms gain. Relax a woman's hold on man, and her knee-joints will soon begin to stiffen. Self-assertion brings out many fine qualities, but it does not promote devotional habits.
—It's always a good idea to have a woman nearby when discussing this kind of topic. Whether there will be three or four women for every man in heaven is a question for those who claim to know everything about the future of humanity. However, it's clear that there's a lot more genuine faith and spiritual vitality among women than among men in this world. Women need faith to sustain them more than men do because they have much less to draw them out of themselves, and it's easier for them since their usual state of dependence teaches them to rely on others. If they ever gain the right to vote, it might be a concern that the energy in the church pews will diminish while the local political meetings thrive. If you loosen a woman's grip on a man, her strength will quickly start to fade. Self-assertion can reveal many admirable qualities, but it doesn't encourage devotional practices.
I remember some such thoughts as this were passing through my mind while the Master was talking. I noticed that the Lady was listening to the conversation with a look of more than usual interest. We men have the talk mostly to ourselves at this table; the Master, as you have found out, is fond of monologues, and I myself—well, I suppose I must own to a certain love for the reverberated music of my own accents; at any rate, the Master and I do most of the talking. But others help us do the listening. I think I can show that they listen to some purpose. I am going to surprise my reader with a letter which I received very shortly after the conversation took place which I have just reported. It is of course by a special license, such as belongs to the supreme prerogative of an author, that I am enabled to present it to him. He need ask no questions: it is not his affair how I obtained the right to give publicity to a private communication. I have become somewhat more intimately acquainted with the writer of it than in the earlier period of my connection with this establishment, and I think I may say have gained her confidence to a very considerable degree.
I remember having thoughts like this while the Master was talking. I noticed that the Lady was listening with more than usual interest. We men usually dominate the conversation at this table; the Master, as you’ve seen, loves to talk at length, and I guess I have a bit of a fondness for hearing my own voice; at any rate, the Master and I do most of the talking. But others help with the listening. I think I can show that they listen with purpose. I’m going to surprise you with a letter I received shortly after our conversation. Of course, it’s with a special privilege that comes from the supreme authority of being an author that I’m able to share it. You need not ask any questions: it's not your concern how I got the right to reveal a private message. I've become a bit closer to the writer than when I first joined this place, and I think it’s fair to say I’ve gained her trust to a significant extent.
MY DEAR SIR: The conversations I have had with you, limited as they have been, have convinced me that I am quite safe in addressing you with freedom on a subject which interests me, and others more than myself. We at our end of the table have been listening, more or less intelligently, to the discussions going on between two or three of you gentlemen on matters of solemn import to us all. This is nothing very new to me. I have been used, from an early period of my life, to hear the discussion of grave questions, both in politics and religion. I have seen gentlemen at my father's table get as warm over a theological point of dispute as in talking over their political differences. I rather think it has always been very much so, in bad as well as in good company; for you remember how Milton's fallen angels amused themselves with disputing on “providence, foreknowledge, will, and fate,” and it was the same thing in that club Goldsmith writes so pleasantly about. Indeed, why should not people very often come, in the course of conversation, to the one subject which lies beneath all else about which our thoughts are occupied? And what more natural than that one should be inquiring about what another has accepted and ceased to have any doubts concerning? It seems to me all right that at the proper time, in the proper place, those who are less easily convinced than their neighbors should have the fullest liberty of calling to account all the opinions which others receive without question. Somebody must stand sentry at the outposts of belief, and it is a sentry's business, I believe, to challenge every one who comes near him, friend or foe.
MY DEAR SIR: The conversations I've had with you, though limited, have made me feel quite comfortable addressing you freely about a topic that interests me and others even more than myself. We at our end of the table have been listening, more or less attentively, to the discussions happening among a couple of you gentlemen about serious matters that concern us all. This isn’t new to me. I've been accustomed, from an early age, to hearing discussions on significant issues, both in politics and religion. I've seen gentlemen at my father's table get just as passionate over a theological debate as they do when discussing their political differences. I believe this has always been the case, both in less reputable and more reputable company; after all, remember how Milton's fallen angels entertained themselves arguing about “providence, foreknowledge, will, and fate,” and it was the same in that group Goldsmith writes about so delightfully. In fact, why shouldn’t people often drift into the one topic that underlies everything our thoughts are occupied with? And what could be more natural than someone questioning what another has accepted and no longer doubts? It seems perfectly reasonable that at the right time and in the right place, those who are less easily convinced than others should have the full freedom to scrutinize all the beliefs that others accept without question. Someone must stand guard at the boundaries of belief, and I believe it’s a guard's duty to challenge anyone who approaches, whether they are a friend or foe.
I want you to understand fully that I am not one of those poor nervous creatures who are frightened out of their wits when any question is started that implies the disturbance of their old beliefs. I manage to see some of the periodicals, and now and then dip a little way into a new book which deals with these curious questions you were talking about, and others like them. You know they find their way almost everywhere. They do not worry me in the least. When I was a little girl, they used to say that if you put a horsehair into a tub of water it would turn into a snake in the course of a few days. That did not seem to me so very much stranger than it was that an egg should turn into a chicken. What can I say to that? Only that it is the Lord's doings, and marvellous in my eyes; and if our philosophical friend should find some little live creatures, or what seem to be live creatures, in any of his messes, I should say as much, and no more. You do not think I would shut up my Bible and Prayer-Book because there is one more thing I do not understand in a world where I understand so very little of all the wonders that surround me?
I want you to fully understand that I'm not one of those anxious people who gets completely shaken up whenever a topic comes up that challenges their old beliefs. I read some magazines and occasionally check out new books that discuss the intriguing questions you mentioned and others like them. You know they pop up everywhere. They don’t bother me at all. When I was a little girl, people used to say that if you put a horsehair in a tub of water, it would turn into a snake after a few days. That didn’t seem much stranger to me than an egg turning into a chicken. What can I say about that? Only that it’s the Lord's work, and it's amazing to me; and if our philosophical friend happens to find some tiny living creatures, or what look like living creatures, in any of his experiments, I would say just that, nothing more. You don’t think I would close my Bible and Prayer Book just because there’s one more thing I don’t understand in a world where I grasp so little of all the wonders around me, do you?
It may be very wrong to pay any attention to those speculations about the origin of mankind which seem to conflict with the Sacred Record. But perhaps there is some way of reconciling them, as there is of making the seven days of creation harmonize with modern geology. At least, these speculations are curious enough in themselves; and I have seen so many good and handsome children come of parents who were anything but virtuous and comely, that I can believe in almost any amount of improvement taking place in a tribe of living beings, if time and opportunity favor it. I have read in books of natural history that dogs came originally from wolves. When I remember my little Flora, who, as I used to think, could do everything but talk, it does not seem to me that she was much nearer her savage ancestors than some of the horrid cannibal wretches are to their neighbors the great apes.
It might be completely misguided to consider any theories about the origin of humanity that appear to contradict the Sacred Record. However, maybe there's a way to reconcile them, just as we can align the seven days of creation with modern geology. At the very least, these theories are fascinating in their own right; and I’ve seen so many wonderful and attractive children come from parents who weren’t exactly virtuous or good-looking that I can believe in significant improvements happening within a population of living beings, given enough time and opportunity. I’ve read in natural history books that dogs descended from wolves. When I think of my little Flora, who I believed could do everything except talk, it seems to me she was not much closer to her wild ancestors than some of the dreadful cannibal beings are to their neighbors, the great apes.
You see that I am tolerably liberal in my habit of looking at all these questions. We women drift along with the current of the times, listening, in our quiet way, to the discussions going on round us in books and in conversation, and shift the phrases in which we think and talk with something of the same ease as that with which we change our style of dress from year to year. I doubt if you of the other sex know what an effect this habit of accommodating our tastes to changing standards has upon us. Nothing is fixed in them, as you know; the very law of fashion is change. I suspect we learn from our dressmakers to shift the costume of our minds, and slip on the new fashions of thinking all the more easily because we have been accustomed to new styles of dressing every season.
You can see that I'm quite open-minded when it comes to these issues. We women go with the flow of the times, quietly tuning in to the discussions happening around us in books and conversations, and we easily adapt our thoughts and language just like we change our wardrobe from year to year. I doubt that you men realize how much this habit of adjusting our preferences to fit changing standards impacts us. Nothing in our tastes is fixed, as you know; the very nature of fashion is change. I think we learn from our dressmakers to switch up our mental styles, and we embrace new ways of thinking even more easily because we’re used to trying on new outfits every season.
It frightens me to see how much I have written without having yet said a word of what I began this letter on purpose to say. I have taken so much space in “defining my position,” to borrow the politicians' phrase, that I begin to fear you will be out of patience before you come to the part of my letter I care most about your reading.
It scares me to realize how much I've written without actually saying what I intentionally set out to say in this letter. I've used so much space "defining my position," to use a politician's phrase, that I'm starting to worry you'll lose patience before you get to the part of my letter that I really want you to read.
What I want to say is this. When these matters are talked about before persons of different ages and various shades of intelligence, I think one ought to be very careful that his use of language does not injure the sensibilities, perhaps blunt the reverential feelings, of those who are listening to him. You of the sterner sex say that we women have intuitions, but not logic, as our birthright. I shall not commit my sex by conceding this to be true as a whole, but I will accept the first half of it, and I will go so far as to say that we do not always care to follow out a train of thought until it ends in a blind cul de sac, as some of what are called the logical people are fond of doing.
What I want to say is this. When discussing these topics in front of people of different ages and varying levels of intelligence, I believe one should be very careful to use language in a way that doesn’t hurt the feelings or dampen the respect of those who are listening. You men say that women have intuition but lack logic as our birthright. I won’t claim that this applies to all women, but I will agree with the first part, and I’ll even say that we don’t always want to follow a line of thought if it leads us to a dead end, like some so-called logical people tend to do.
Now I want to remind you that religion is not a matter of intellectual luxury to those of us who are interested in it, but something very different. It is our life, and more than our life; for that is measured by pulse-beats, but our religious consciousness partakes of the Infinite, towards which it is constantly yearning. It is very possible that a hundred or five hundred years from now the forms of religious belief may be so altered that we should hardly know them. But the sense of dependence on Divine influence and the need of communion with the unseen and eternal will be then just what they are now. It is not the geologist's hammer, or the astronomer's telescope, or the naturalist's microscope, that is going to take away the need of the human soul for that Rock to rest upon which is higher than itself, that Star which never sets, that all-pervading Presence which gives life to all the least moving atoms of the immeasurable universe.
Now I want to remind you that religion isn’t just an intellectual luxury for those of us who care about it, but something much deeper. It’s our life, and even more than our life; because life is measured by our heartbeat, while our religious awareness connects us to the Infinite, which we are always yearning for. It's possible that a hundred or even five hundred years from now, the forms of religious belief may be so transformed that we would hardly recognize them. But the feeling of dependence on Divine influence and the need for connection with the unseen and eternal will remain the same as they are now. It’s not the geologist’s hammer, the astronomer’s telescope, or the naturalist’s microscope that can eliminate the human soul's need for that solid Rock to lean on, which is greater than itself, that unending Star, that all-encompassing Presence that gives life to even the smallest moving particles of the vast universe.
I have no fears for myself, and listen very quietly to all your debates. I go from your philosophical discussions to the reading of Jeremy Taylor's “Rule and Exercises of Holy Dying” without feeling that I have unfitted myself in the least degree for its solemn reflections. And, as I have mentioned his name, I cannot help saying that I do not believe that good man himself would have ever shown the bitterness to those who seem to be at variance with the received doctrines which one may see in some of the newspapers that call themselves “religious.” I have kept a few old books from my honored father's library, and among them is another of his which I always thought had more true Christianity in its title than there is in a good many whole volumes. I am going to take the book down, or up,—for it is not a little one,—and write out the title, which, I dare say, you remember, and very likely you have the book. “Discourse of the Liberty of Prophesying, showing the Unreasonableness of prescribing to other Men's Faith, and the Iniquity of persecuting Different Opinions.”
I have no fears for myself and quietly listen to all your discussions. I move from your philosophical talks to reading Jeremy Taylor's "Rule and Exercises of Holy Dying" without feeling that I've become less fit for its serious reflections. And since I’ve mentioned his name, I have to say that I don’t believe that good man would have ever displayed the bitterness towards those who seem to disagree with the accepted doctrines that you can sometimes see in certain newspapers that claim to be “religious.” I’ve kept a few old books from my respected father's library, and among them is another of his that I always thought had more true Christianity in its title than there is in many entire volumes. I'm going to take the book down, or up—because it’s not a small one—and write out the title, which I’m sure you remember, and you very likely have the book. “Discourse of the Liberty of Prophesying, showing the Unreasonableness of prescribing to other Men's Faith, and the Iniquity of persecuting Different Opinions.”
Now, my dear sir, I am sure you believe that I want to be liberal and reasonable, and not to act like those weak alarmists who, whenever the silly sheep begin to skip as if something was after them, and huddle together in their fright, are sure there must be a bear or a lion coming to eat them up. But for all that, I want to beg you to handle some of these points, which are so involved in the creed of a good many well-intentioned persons that you cannot separate them from it without picking their whole belief to pieces, with more thought for them than you might think at first they were entitled to. I have no doubt you gentlemen are as wise as serpents, and I want you to be as harmless as doves.
Now, my dear sir, I’m sure you believe that I want to be open-minded and reasonable, and not act like those panicky people who, whenever the silly sheep start to jump as if something is after them and crowd together in fear, are convinced there must be a bear or a lion coming to eat them. Still, I want to ask you to address some of these issues that are so tied to the beliefs of quite a few well-meaning individuals that you can’t separate them from their faith without dismantling their entire belief system, caring more for them than you might initially think they deserve. I have no doubt you gentlemen are as wise as serpents, and I want you to be as innocent as doves.
The Young Girl who sits by me has, I know, strong religious instincts. Instead of setting her out to ask all sorts of questions, I would rather, if I had my way, encourage her to form a habit of attending to religious duties, and make the most of the simple faith in which she was bred. I think there are a good many questions young persons may safely postpone to a more convenient season; and as this young creature is overworked, I hate to have her excited by the fever of doubt which it cannot be denied is largely prevailing in our time.
The young girl sitting next to me definitely has strong religious instincts. Instead of encouraging her to ask a bunch of questions, I would prefer to help her develop a routine of participating in religious practices and to embrace the simple faith she was raised with. I believe there are many questions that young people can safely put off until later; and since this girl is already overwhelmed, I dislike the idea of adding to her stress with the widespread doubts that are so common these days.
I know you must have looked on our other young friend, who has devoted himself to the sublimest of the sciences, with as much interest as I do. When I was a little girl I used to write out a line of Young's as a copy in my writing-book,
I know you must have looked at our other young friend, who has committed himself to the most noble of sciences, with as much interest as I do. When I was a little girl, I used to write out a line from Young as a copy in my writing book,
“An undevout astronomer is mad”;
"An irreverent astronomer is crazy."
but I do not now feel quite so sure that the contemplation of all the multitude of remote worlds does not tend to weaken the idea of a personal Deity. It is not so much that nebular theory which worries me, when I think about this subject, as a kind of bewilderment when I try to conceive of a consciousness filling all those frightful blanks of space they talk about. I sometimes doubt whether that young man worships anything but the stars. They tell me that many young students of science like him never see the inside of a church. I cannot help wishing they did. It humanizes people, quite apart from any higher influence it exerts upon them. One reason, perhaps, why they do not care to go to places of worship is that they are liable to hear the questions they know something about handled in sermons by those who know very much less about them. And so they lose a great deal. Almost every human being, however vague his notions of the Power addressed, is capable of being lifted and solemnized by the exercise of public prayer. When I was a young girl we travelled in Europe, and I visited Ferney with my parents; and I remember we all stopped before a chapel, and I read upon its front, I knew Latin enough to understand it, I am pleased to say,—Deo erexit Voltaire. I never forgot it; and knowing what a sad scoffer he was at most sacred things, I could not but be impressed with the fact that even he was not satisfied with himself, until he had shown his devotion in a public and lasting form.
but I don't feel quite as sure now that thinking about all the countless distant worlds doesn't weaken the idea of a personal God. It's not so much the nebular theory that troubles me when I think about this; it's more the confusion I feel trying to imagine a consciousness that fills all those vast empty spaces people talk about. Sometimes I wonder if that young man worships anything but the stars. I've heard that many young science students like him never step inside a church. I can't help wishing they did. It makes people more human, aside from any higher influence it might have on them. One reason they might not want to attend places of worship could be that they might hear questions they know a lot about being discussed in sermons by people who know much less. And so they miss out on a lot. Almost everyone, no matter how vague their ideas about the Power they address, can feel uplifted and solemn during public prayer. When I was a girl, we traveled in Europe, and I visited Ferney with my parents; I remember stopping in front of a chapel and reading on its front, which I knew Latin well enough to understand, I’m pleased to say,—Deo erexit Voltaire. I never forgot it; and knowing how much of a skeptic he was about most sacred things, I couldn’t help but be struck by the fact that even he wasn't content with himself until he had expressed his devotion in a public and permanent way.
We all want religion sooner or later. I am afraid there are some who have no natural turn for it, as there are persons without an ear for music, to which, if I remember right, I heard one of you comparing what you called religious genius. But sorrow and misery bring even these to know what it means, in a great many instances. May I not say to you, my friend, that I am one who has learned the secret of the inner life by the discipline of trials in the life of outward circumstance? I can remember the time when I thought more about the shade of color in a ribbon, whether it matched my complexion or not, than I did about my spiritual interests in this world or the next. It was needful that I should learn the meaning of that text, “Whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth.”
We all seek out religion eventually. I’m afraid some people just don’t have a natural inclination for it, much like some people can’t carry a tune, as I recall one of you comparing this to what you called religious genius. But sadness and hardship often push even those individuals to understand its significance in many cases. Can I say to you, my friend, that I’m someone who has discovered the secrets of inner life through the challenges of outer circumstances? I remember a time when I was more concerned about the color of a ribbon and whether it matched my skin tone than I was about my spiritual well-being in this life or the next. It was necessary for me to learn the meaning of the verse, “Whom the Lord loves, He chastens.”
Since I have been taught in the school of trial I have felt, as I never could before, how precious an inheritance is the smallest patrimony of faith. When everything seemed gone from me, I found I had still one possession. The bruised reed that I had never leaned on became my staff. The smoking flax which had been a worry to my eyes burst into flame, and I lighted the taper at it which has since guided all my footsteps. And I am but one of the thousands who have had the same experience. They have been through the depths of affliction, and know the needs of the human soul. It will find its God in the unseen,—Father, Saviour, Divine Spirit, Virgin Mother, it must and will breathe its longings and its griefs into the heart of a Being capable of understanding all its necessities and sympathizing with all its woes.
Since I've learned through challenges, I feel now more than ever how valuable even the smallest amount of faith is. When I thought I’d lost everything, I discovered I still had one possession. The weak support I had never relied on became my strength. The flicker of hope that worried me instead ignited, and I took the light from it, which has since guided my path. And I’m just one of thousands who’ve had the same experience. They have gone through deep suffering and understand what the human soul needs. It will find its God in the unseen—Father, Savior, Divine Spirit, Virgin Mother; it must and will express its desires and sorrows to a Being who can understand all its needs and empathize with all its pain.
I am jealous, yes, I own I am jealous of any word, spoken or written, that would tend to impair that birthright of reverence which becomes for so many in after years the basis of a deeper religious sentiment. And yet, as I have said, I cannot and will not shut my eyes to the problems which may seriously affect our modes of conceiving the eternal truths on which, and by which, our souls must live. What a fearful time is this into which we poor sensitive and timid creatures are born! I suppose the life of every century has more or less special resemblance to that of some particular Apostle. I cannot help thinking this century has Thomas for its model. How do you suppose the other Apostles felt when that experimental philosopher explored the wounds of the Being who to them was divine with his inquisitive forefinger? In our time that finger has multiplied itself into ten thousand thousand implements of research, challenging all mysteries, weighing the world as in a balance, and sifting through its prisms and spectroscopes the light that comes from the throne of the Eternal.
I am envious, yes, I admit I feel jealousy towards any word, whether spoken or written, that could weaken that birthright of respect which for so many later becomes the foundation of a deeper faith. Yet, as I've mentioned, I can't and won't ignore the issues that might seriously impact how we understand the eternal truths that our souls must rely on. What a terrifying time we've been born into, we poor sensitive and timid beings! I suppose every century’s life resembles that of a particular Apostle to some extent. I can’t help but think this century reflects Thomas as its model. How do you think the other Apostles felt when that experimental philosopher probed the wounds of the Being they viewed as divine with his curious finger? In our time, that finger has multiplied into countless instruments of research, challenging all mysteries, weighing the world as if on a scale, and analyzing the light that comes from the throne of the Eternal through prisms and spectroscopes.
Pity us, dear Lord, pity us! The peace in believing which belonged to other ages is not for us. Again Thy wounds are opened that we may know whether it is the blood of one like ourselves which flows from them, or whether it is a Divinity that is bleeding for His creatures. Wilt Thou not take the doubt of Thy children whom the time commands to try all things in the place of the unquestioning faith of earlier and simpler-hearted generations? We too have need of Thee. Thy martyrs in other ages were cast into the flames, but no fire could touch their immortal and indestructible faith. We sit in safety and in peace, so far as these poor bodies are concerned; but our cherished beliefs, the hopes, the trust that stayed the hearts of those we loved who have gone before us, are cast into the fiery furnace of an age which is fast turning to dross the certainties and the sanctities once prized as our most precious inheritance. You will understand me, my dear sir, and all my solicitudes and apprehensions. Had I never been assailed by the questions that meet all thinking persons in our time, I might not have thought so anxiously about the risk of perplexing others. I know as well as you must that there are many articles of belief clinging to the skirts of our time which are the bequests of the ages of ignorance that God winked at. But for all that I would train a child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, according to the simplest and best creed I could disentangle from those barbarisms, and I would in every way try to keep up in young persons that standard of reverence for all sacred subjects which may, without any violent transition, grow and ripen into the devotion of later years. Believe me,
Pity us, dear Lord, pity us! The peace that comes from believing, which belonged to other times, is not ours. Once more, Your wounds are open for us to see if the blood flowing from them is that of someone like us or if it is a Divine being bleeding for His creations. Will You not take away the doubts of Your children, who in this time are forced to question everything instead of embracing the unquestioning faith of simpler, earlier generations? We also need You. Your martyrs in past times were thrown into the flames, but no fire could touch their immortal and unbreakable faith. We sit safely and peacefully, as far as these fragile bodies are concerned; yet our cherished beliefs, the hopes, and the trust that supported the hearts of those we loved who have passed on, are being thrown into the fiery furnace of a time that is quickly turning our once-cherished certainties and sacred values into worthless things. You understand me, my dear sir, along with all my worries and concerns. Had I never faced the questions that challenge all thoughtful people in our era, I might not have worried so much about the risk of confusing others. I know, as you must too, that there are many beliefs clinging to our current times that are legacies of the ages of ignorance that God overlooked. Despite that, I would teach a child in the training and instruction of the Lord, according to the simplest and best creed I could separate from those outdated ideas, and I would do everything possible to instill in young people a deep respect for all sacred matters, which may, without any abrupt changes, develop and mature into the devotion of later years. Believe me,
Very sincerely yours,
Sincerely yours,
I have thought a good deal about this letter and the writer of it lately. She seemed at first removed to a distance from all of us, but here I find myself in somewhat near relations with her. What has surprised me more than that, however, is to find that she is becoming so much acquainted with the Register of Deeds. Of all persons in the world, I should least have thought of him as like to be interested in her, and still less, if possible, of her fancying him. I can only say they have been in pretty close conversation several times of late, and, if I dared to think it of so very calm and dignified a personage, I should say that her color was a little heightened after one or more of these interviews. No! that would be too absurd! But I begin to think nothing is absurd in the matter of the relations of the two sexes; and if this high-bred woman fancies the attentions of a piece of human machinery like this elderly individual, it is none of my business.
I've thought a lot about this letter and its writer recently. At first, she felt quite distant from all of us, but now I find myself in a somewhat closer connection with her. What surprises me even more, though, is that she's getting to know the Register of Deeds so well. Of all people, I would have never expected him to be interested in her, and even less so for her to be interested in him. I can only say they've had quite a few conversations lately, and if I dared to think it about such a composed and dignified person, I might say her cheeks were a bit flushed after one or more of these meetings. No! That would be too ridiculous! But I’m starting to think there’s nothing absurd about the dynamics between men and women; and if this refined woman is interested in the attention of someone like this older man, it’s really none of my business.
I have been at work on some more of the Young Astronomer's lines. I find less occasion for meddling with them as he grows more used to versification. I think I could analyze the processes going on in his mind, and the conflict of instincts which he cannot in the nature of things understand. But it is as well to give the reader a chance to find out for himself what is going on in the young man's heart and intellect.
I’ve been working on more of the Young Astronomer’s lines. I find that I need to interfere less as he becomes more comfortable with writing poetry. I think I could break down the thought processes happening in his mind and the conflicting instincts he can’t fully grasp. But it’s better to give the reader a chance to discover for themselves what’s happening in the young man’s heart and mind.
WIND-CLOUDS AND STAR-DRIFTS. III The snows that glittered on the disk of Mars Have melted, and the planet's fiery orb Rolls in the crimson summer of its year; But what to me the summer or the snow Of worlds that throb with life in forms unknown, If life indeed be theirs; I heed not these. My heart is simply human; all my care For them whose dust is fashioned like mine own; These ache with cold and hunger, live in pain, And shake with fear of worlds more full of woe; There may be others worthier of my love, But such I know not save through these I know. There are two veils of language, hid beneath Whose sheltering folds, we dare to be ourselves; And not that other self which nods and smiles And babbles in our name; the one is Prayer, Lending its licensed freedom to the tongue That tells our sorrows and our sins to Heaven; The other, Verse, that throws its spangled web Around our naked speech and makes it bold. I, whose best prayer is silence; sitting dumb In the great temple where I nightly serve Him who is throned in light, have dared to claim The poet's franchise, though I may not hope To wear his garland; hear me while I tell My story in such form as poets use, But breathed in fitful whispers, as the wind Sighs and then slumbers, wakes and sighs again. Thou Vision, floating in the breathless air Between me and the fairest of the stars, I tell my lonely thoughts as unto thee. Look not for marvels of the scholar's pen In my rude measure; I can only show A slender-margined, unillumined page, And trust its meaning to the flattering eye That reads it in the gracious light of love. Ah, wouldst thou clothe thyself in breathing shape And nestle at my side, my voice should lend Whate'er my verse may lack of tender rhythm To make thee listen. I have stood entranced When, with her fingers wandering o'er the keys, The white enchantress with the golden hair Breathed all her soul through some unvalued rhyme; Some flower of song that long had lost its bloom; Lo! its dead summer kindled as she sang! The sweet contralto, like the ringdove's coo, Thrilled it with brooding, fond, caressing tones, And the pale minstrel's passion lived again, Tearful and trembling as a dewy rose The wind has shaken till it fills the air With light and fragrance. Such the wondrous charm A song can borrow when the bosom throbs That lends it breath. So from the poet's lips His verse sounds doubly sweet, for none like him Feels every cadence of its wave-like flow; He lives the passion over, while he reads, That shook him as he sang his lofty strain, And pours his life through each resounding line, As ocean, when the stormy winds are hushed, Still rolls and thunders through his billowy caves. Let me retrace the record of the years That made me what I am. A man most wise, But overworn with toil and bent with age, Sought me to be his scholar,—me, run wild From books and teachers,—kindled in my soul The love of knowledge; led me to his tower, Showed me the wonders of the midnight realm His hollow sceptre ruled, or seemed to rule, Taught me the mighty secrets of the spheres, Trained me to find the glimmering specks of light Beyond the unaided sense, and on my chart To string them one by one, in order due, As on a rosary a saint his beads. I was his only scholar; I became The echo to his thought; whate'er he knew Was mine for asking; so from year to year We wrought together, till there came a time When I, the learner, was the master half Of the twinned being in the dome-crowned tower. Minds roll in paths like planets; they revolve This in a larger, that a narrower ring, But round they come at last to that same phase, That self-same light and shade they showed before. I learned his annual and his monthly tale, His weekly axiom and his daily phrase, I felt them coming in the laden air, And watched them laboring up to vocal breath, Even as the first-born at his father's board Knows ere he speaks the too familiar jest Is on its way, by some mysterious sign Forewarned, the click before the striking bell. He shrivelled as I spread my growing leaves, Till trust and reverence changed to pitying care; He lived for me in what he once had been, But I for him, a shadow, a defence, The guardian of his fame, his guide, his staff, Leaned on so long he fell if left alone. I was his eye, his ear, his cunning hand, Love was my spur and longing after fame, But his the goading thorn of sleepless age That sees its shortening span, its lengthening shades, That clutches what it may with eager grasp, And drops at last with empty, outstretched hands. All this he dreamed not. He would sit him down Thinking to work his problems as of old, And find the star he thought so plain a blur, The columned figures labyrinthine wilds Without my comment, blind and senseless scrawls That vexed him with their riddles; he would strive And struggle for a while, and then his eye Would lose its light, and over all his mind The cold gray mist would settle; and erelong The darkness fell, and I was left alone. Alone! no climber of an Alpine cliff, No Arctic venturer on the waveless sea, Feels the dread stillness round him as it chills The heart of him who leaves the slumbering earth To watch the silent worlds that crowd the sky. Alone! And as the shepherd leaves his flock To feed upon the hillside, he meanwhile Finds converse in the warblings of the pipe Himself has fashioned for his vacant hour, So have I grown companion to myself, And to the wandering spirits of the air That smile and whisper round us in our dreams. Thus have I learned to search if I may know The whence and why of all beneath the stars And all beyond them, and to weigh my life As in a balance, poising good and ill Against each other,-asking of the Power That flung me forth among the whirling worlds, If I am heir to any inborn right, Or only as an atom of the dust That every wind may blow where'er it will. I am not humble; I was shown my place, Clad in such robes as Nature had at hand; Took what she gave, not chose; I know no shame, No fear for being simply what I am. I am not proud, I hold my every breath At Nature's mercy. I am as a babe Borne in a giant's arms, he knows not where; Each several heart-beat, counted like the coin A miser reckons, is a special gift As from an unseen hand; if that withhold Its bounty for a moment, I am left A clod upon the earth to which I fall. Something I find in me that well might claim The love of beings in a sphere above This doubtful twilight world of right and wrong; Something that shows me of the self-same clay That creeps or swims or flies in humblest form. Had I been asked, before I left my bed Of shapeless dust, what clothing I would wear, I would have said, More angel and less worm; But for their sake who are even such as I, Of the same mingled blood, I would not choose To hate that meaner portion of myself Which makes me brother to the least of men. I dare not be a coward with my lips Who dare to question all things in my soul; Some men may find their wisdom on their knees, Some prone and grovelling in the dust like slaves; Let the meek glow-worm glisten in the dew; I ask to lift my taper to the sky As they who hold their lamps above their heads, Trusting the larger currents up aloft, Rather than crossing eddies round their breast, Threatening with every puff the flickering blaze. My life shall be a challenge, not a truce! This is my homage to the mightier powers, To ask my boldest question, undismayed By muttered threats that some hysteric sense Of wrong or insult will convulse the throne Where wisdom reigns supreme; and if I err, They all must err who have to feel their way As bats that fly at noon; for what are we But creatures of the night, dragged forth by day, Who needs must stumble, and with stammering steps Spell out their paths in syllables of pain? Thou wilt not hold in scorn the child who dares Look up to Thee, the Father,—dares to ask More than Thy wisdom answers. From Thy hand The worlds were cast; yet every leaflet claims From that same hand its little shining sphere Of star-lit dew; thine image, the great sun, Girt with his mantle of tempestuous flame, Glares in mid-heaven; but to his noontide blaze The slender violet lifts its lidless eye, And from his splendor steals its fairest hue, Its sweetest perfume from his scorching fire.
WIND-CLOUDS AND STAR-DRIFTS. III The snow that sparkled on the surface of Mars Has melted, and the planet's fiery core Turns in the crimson summer of its year; But what do I care for the summer or the snow Of worlds that pulse with life in unknown forms, If life truly exists there; I'm indifferent to these. My heart is just human; all my concern Is for those whose dust is shaped like mine; They suffer from cold and hunger, live in pain, And tremble with fear of worlds filled with more anguish; There may be others more deserving of my love, But I only know them through those I recognize. There are two veils of language hidden beneath Whose protecting folds, we dare to be ourselves; Not that other self that nods and smiles And babbles in our name; one is Prayer, Giving its authorized freedom to the tongue That shares our sorrows and sins with Heaven; The other, Verse, wraps our naked speech In a spangled web that makes it bold. I, whose best prayer is silence; sitting mute In the great temple where I serve each night Him who is enthroned in light, have dared to claim The poet's right, though I may not hope To wear his crown; hear me while I share My story in the form poets use, But whispered like the wind Sighs and then slumbers, wakes and sighs again. Thou Vision, floating in the still air Between me and the brightest of the stars, I share my lonely thoughts with you. Don’t expect marvels from the scholar's pen In my rough measure; I can only show A slender-margined, unlit page, And trust its meaning to the kindly eye That reads it in the loving light of affection. Ah, if you would clothe yourself in a living form And snuggle by my side, my voice would give Whatever my verse lacks in tender rhythm To make you listen. I have stood entranced When, with her fingers wandering across the keys, The white enchantress with the golden hair Poured her soul into some overlooked rhyme; Some flower of song that had long lost its bloom; Look! its dead summer sparked back to life as she sang! The sweet contralto, like the coo of a dove, Filled it with brooding, loving, caressing tones, And the pale minstrel's passion came alive again, Tearful and trembling like a dewy rose The wind has shaken until it fills the air With light and fragrance. Such is the wondrous power A song can borrow when the heart throbs That gives it breath. So from the poet's lips His verse sounds doubly sweet because no one else Feels every cadence of its wave-like flow; He relives the passion while he reads, That moved him as he sang his lofty piece, And pours his life through each resonating line, As the ocean, when the stormy winds are calmed, Still rolls and thunders through its billowy caves. Let me retrace the record of the years That made me who I am. A wise man, But worn out with labor and bent with age, Chose me to be his student—me, who ran wild From books and teachers—ignited in my soul The love of knowledge; led me to his tower, Showed me the wonders of the midnight realm His hollow scepter ruled, or seemed to rule, Taught me the mighty secrets of the spheres, Trained me to find the glimmering points of light Beyond ordinary senses, and on my chart To string them one by one, in proper order, As a saint strings his beads on a rosary. I was his only student; I became The echo of his thoughts; whatever he knew Was mine for asking; so from year to year We worked together, until there came a time When I, the learner, became half the master Of the twinned being in the dome-crowned tower. Minds move in paths like planets; they revolve This in a larger, that a narrower circle, But in the end, they come back to that same phase, That same light and shade they showed before. I learned his annual and his monthly stories, His weekly truths and his daily phrases, I sensed them approaching in the heavy air, And watched them laboring to find their voice, Just like the firstborn at his father's table Knows before he speaks the familiar jest Is on its way, by some mysterious sign That warns him, the click before the striking bell. He withered as I spread my growing leaves, Until trust and respect turned into caring pity; He lived for me in what he once had been, But I for him, a shadow, a support, The guardian of his fame, his guide, his staff, Leaned on so long he fell if left alone. I was his eye, his ear, his skilled hand, Love was my motivation and longing for fame, But his was the painful awareness of sleepless age That sees its dwindling time, its expanding shadows, That grasps what it can with eager hands, And finally drops it with empty, outstretched palms. All this he didn’t realize. He would sit down Thinking to solve his problems as before, And find the star he thought merely a blur, The columned figures a wild maze Without my comments, blind and senseless scribbles That puzzled him with their riddles; he would strive And struggle for a while, and then his eye Would lose its light, and over all his mind The cold gray mist would settle; and soon The darkness came, and I was left alone. Alone! No climber of an Alpine cliff, No Arctic explorer on the still sea, Feels the dreadful silence around him as it chills The heart of anyone who leaves the sleeping earth To watch the silent worlds that fill the sky. Alone! And as the shepherd leaves his flock To graze on the hillside, he finds comfort in the tunes Of the pipe he himself has crafted for his idle time, So have I become my own companion, And to the wandering spirits of the air That smile and whisper around us in our dreams. Thus have I learned to search if I can know The origin and reason for all beneath the stars And all beyond them, and to weigh my life As in a balance, weighing good and bad Against each other—asking of the Power That threw me into the swirling worlds, If I am entitled to any inherent right, Or just an atom of dust That every wind may blow wherever it wants. I am not humble; I was shown my place, Dressed in the garments Nature provided; Took what she gave, not chose; I feel no shame, No fear for being simply who I am. I am not proud, I hold each breath At Nature's mercy. I am like a baby Carried in a giant's arms, he knows not where; Each heartbeat, counted like the coin A miser keeps track of, is a special gift From an unseen hand; if that withholds Its bounty for a moment, I am left A clod upon the earth to which I fall. Something within me might demand The love of beings in a realm above This uncertain twilight world of right and wrong; Something that shows me of the same clay That creeps or swims or flies in humblest form. Had I been asked, before I left my bed Of shapeless dust, what clothing I would wear, I would have chosen, More angel and less worm; But for the sake of those who are just like I, Of the same mixed blood, I would not choose To despise that lesser part of myself That makes me a brother to the least of men. I dare not be a coward with my words Who dare to question all things in my soul; Some men may find their wisdom on their knees, Some sprawled and groveling in the dust like slaves; Let the meek glow-worm shine in the dew; I ask to lift my candle to the sky Like those who hold their lamps above their heads, Trusting the larger currents above, Rather than crossing the eddies around their chest, Threatening with every gust the flickering flame. My life shall be a challenge, not a truce! This is my tribute to the mightier powers, To ask my boldest question, undaunted By whispered threats that some hysterical notion Of wrong or insult might shake the throne Where wisdom reigns supreme; and if I err, They all must err who have to find their way As bats that fly at noon; for what are we But creatures of the night, dragged into the day, Who must stumble, and with stammering steps Spell out their paths in syllables of pain? You will not scorn the child who dares Look up to You, the Father—dares to ask More than Your wisdom answers. From Your hand The worlds were created; yet every leaf claims From that same hand its tiny, shining sphere Of star-lit dew; your image, the great sun, Wrapped in his mantle of raging flame, Shines in mid-heaven; but to his noonday blaze The delicate violet opens its unblinking eye, And from his brilliance steals its finest hue, Its sweetest scent from his scorching fire.
I may just as well stop here as anywhere, for there is more of the manuscript to come, and I can only give it in instalments.
I might as well stop here as anywhere since there's more of the manuscript to come, and I can only share it in parts.
The Young Astronomer had told me I might read any portions of his manuscript I saw fit to certain friends. I tried this last extract on the old Master.
The Young Astronomer had told me I could share any parts of his manuscript that I wanted with some friends. I tested this last excerpt on the old Master.
It's the same story we all have to tell,—said he, when I had done reading.—We are all asking questions nowadays. I should like to hear him read some of his verses himself, and I think some of the other boarders would like to. I wonder if he wouldn't do it, if we asked him! Poets read their own compositions in a singsong sort of way; but they do seem to love 'em so, that I always enjoy it. It makes me laugh a little inwardly to see how they dandle their poetical babies, but I don't let them know it. We must get up a select party of the boarders to hear him read. We'll send him a regular invitation. I will put my name at the head of it, and you shall write it.
"It's the same story we all have to share," he said after I finished reading. "We're all asking questions these days. I’d love to hear him read some of his poems himself, and I think some of the other boarders would enjoy it too. I wonder if he would do it if we asked him! Poets read their own work in a sort of singsong way, but they seem to love it so much that I always find it enjoyable. It makes me chuckle a bit inside to see how they treat their poetic creations, but I don’t let them see that. We should organize a select group of boarders to hear him read. We’ll send him a proper invitation. I’ll put my name at the top, and you can write it out."
—That was neatly done. How I hate writing such things! But I suppose I must do it.
—That was well done. How I dislike writing things like this! But I guess I have to.
VIII
The Master and I had been thinking for some time of trying to get the Young Astronomer round to our side of the table. There are many subjects on which both of us like to talk with him, and it would be convenient to have him nearer to us. How to manage it was not quite so clear as it might have been. The Scarabee wanted to sit with his back to the light, as it was in his present position. He used his eyes so much in studying minute objects, that he wished to spare them all fatigue, and did not like facing a window. Neither of us cared to ask the Man of Letters, so called, to change his place, and of course we could not think of making such a request of the Young Girl or the Lady. So we were at a stand with reference to this project of ours.
The Master and I had been considering for a while how to get the Young Astronomer to join our side of the table. There are many topics we both enjoy discussing with him, and it would be convenient to have him closer. Figuring out how to make this happen wasn’t as straightforward as it could have been. The Scarabee preferred to sit with his back to the light, just like he was sitting now. He relied heavily on his eyesight for examining small details, so he wanted to avoid straining them and didn’t like facing a window. Neither of us wanted to ask the so-called Man of Letters to move, and of course, we couldn’t think of asking the Young Girl or the Lady to switch places. So, we were stuck with our plan.
But while we were proposing, Fate or Providence disposed everything for us. The Man of Letters, so called, was missing one morning, having folded his tent—that is, packed his carpet-bag—with the silence of the Arabs, and encamped—that is, taken lodgings—in some locality which he had forgotten to indicate.
But while we were making our plans, Fate or Providence had other ideas for us. The so-called Man of Letters was gone one morning, having quietly packed his bag and disappeared—just like the Arabs folding their tents—and set up camp in a place he forgot to mention.
The Landlady bore this sudden bereavement remarkably well. Her remarks and reflections; though borrowing the aid of homely imagery and doing occasional violence to the nicer usages of speech, were not without philosophical discrimination.
The landlady handled this sudden loss surprisingly well. Her comments and thoughts, while using simple imagery and sometimes straying from proper speech, still showed a thoughtful understanding.
—I like a gentleman that is a gentleman. But there's a difference in what folks call gentlemen as there is in what you put on table. There is cabbages and there is cauliflowers. There is clams and there is oysters. There is mackerel and there is salmon. And there is some that knows the difference and some that doos n't. I had a little account with that boarder that he forgot to settle before he went off, so all of a suddin. I sha'n't say anything about it. I've seen the time when I should have felt bad about losing what he owed me, but it was no great matter; and if he 'll only stay away now he 's gone, I can stand losing it, and not cry my eyes out nor lay awake all night neither. I never had ought to have took him. Where he come from and where he's gone to is unbeknown to me. If he'd only smoked good tobacco, I wouldn't have said a word; but it was such dreadful stuff, it 'll take a week to get his chamber sweet enough to show them that asks for rooms. It doos smell like all possest.
—I like a gentleman who is a gentleman. But there’s a difference in what people consider gentlemen, just like there’s a difference in what you put on the table. There are cabbages and there are cauliflowers. There are clams and there are oysters. There’s mackerel and there’s salmon. Some people know the difference and some don’t. I had a little bill with that boarder that he forgot to settle before he suddenly left. I won’t say anything about it. There was a time when I would have been upset about losing what he owed me, but it’s no big deal; and if he just stays away now that he’s gone, I can handle losing it without crying or lying awake all night. I never should have taken him in. Where he came from and where he’s gone is a mystery to me. If he’d only smoked good tobacco, I wouldn’t have said a word; but it was such terrible stuff, it’ll take a week to get his room smelling nice enough to show to anyone wanting a room. It smells absolutely awful.
—Left any goods?—asked the Salesman.
—Left any items?—asked the Salesman.
—Or dockermunts?—added the Member of the Haouse.
—Or dockermunts?—added the Member of the House.
The Landlady answered with a faded smile, which implied that there was no hope in that direction. Dr. Benjamin, with a sudden recurrence of youthful feeling, made a fan with the fingers of his right hand, the second phalanx of the thumb resting on the tip of the nose, and the remaining digits diverging from each other, in the plane of the median line of the face,—I suppose this is the way he would have described the gesture, which is almost a specialty of the Parisian gamin. That Boy immediately copied it, and added greatly to its effect by extending the fingers of the other hand in a line with those of the first, and vigorously agitating those of the two hands,—a gesture which acts like a puncture on the distended self-esteem of one to whom it is addressed, and cheapens the memory of the absent to a very low figure.
The landlady replied with a faded smile, suggesting that there was no hope in that direction. Dr. Benjamin, suddenly feeling youthful again, made a fan shape with the fingers of his right hand, the second joint of his thumb resting on the tip of his nose, with his other fingers fanned out in line with the center of his face—I guess this is how he would have described the gesture, which is almost a signature move of the Parisian street kid. That boy instantly copied it and enhanced the effect by extending the fingers of his other hand in line with the first, vigorously shaking both hands—a gesture that punctures the inflated self-esteem of the person it’s directed at and diminishes the memory of the absent to something very trivial.
I wish the reader to observe that I treasure up with interest all the words uttered by the Salesman. It must have been noticed that he very rarely speaks. Perhaps he has an inner life, with its own deep emotional, and lofty contemplative elements, but as we see him, he is the boarder reduced to the simplest expression of that term. Yet, like most human creatures, he has generic and specific characters not unworthy of being studied. I notice particularly a certain electrical briskness of movement, such as one may see in a squirrel, which clearly belongs to his calling. The dry-goodsman's life behind his counter is a succession of sudden, snappy perceptions and brief series of coordinate spasms; as thus:
I want the reader to notice that I carefully take note of everything the Salesman says. It's clear that he rarely speaks. Maybe he has a rich inner life, filled with deep emotions and thoughtful reflections, but when we see him, he's just a simple boarder. However, like most people, he has both general and unique traits that are worth examining. I particularly notice a kind of electric quickness in his movements, similar to what you’d see in a squirrel, which clearly reflects his profession. The dry-goodsman's life at his counter is a series of sharp, quick observations and brief bursts of activity; like this:
“Purple calico, three quarters wide, six yards.”
“Purple calico, 3/4 yard wide, 6 yards.”
Up goes the arm; bang! tumbles out the flat roll and turns half a dozen somersets, as if for the fun of the thing; the six yards of calico hurry over the measuring nails, hunching their backs up, like six cankerworms; out jump the scissors; snip, clip, rip; the stuff is wisped up, brown—papered, tied, labelled, delivered, and the man is himself again, like a child just come out of a convulsion-fit. Think of a man's having some hundreds of these semi-epileptic seizures every day, and you need not wonder that he does not say much; these fits take the talk all out of him.
Up goes the arm; bang! out tumbles the flat roll and does half a dozen flips, as if it's just for fun; the six yards of calico rush over the measuring nails, arching their backs like six caterpillars; out come the scissors; snip, clip, rip; the fabric is bundled up, brown-wrapped, tied, labeled, delivered, and the man is himself again, like a child just recovering from a fit. Imagine a man having hundreds of these semi-epileptic episodes every day, and it’s no surprise that he doesn’t say much; these episodes drain all his words.
But because he, or any other man, does not say much, it does not follow that he may not have, as I have said, an exalted and intense inner life. I have known a number of cases where a man who seemed thoroughly commonplace and unemotional has all at once surprised everybody by telling the story of his hidden life far more pointedly and dramatically than any playwright or novelist or poet could have told it for him. I will not insult your intelligence, Beloved, by saying how he has told it.
But just because he, or any other guy, doesn't say much, it doesn’t mean he can't have, as I mentioned, a deep and intense inner life. I've seen many cases where a guy who seemed totally ordinary and unemotional suddenly surprised everyone by sharing the story of his hidden life in a way that's way more impactful and dramatic than any playwright, novelist, or poet could have done for him. I won't insult your intelligence, Beloved, by explaining how he shared it.
—We had been talking over the subjects touched upon in the Lady's letter.
—We had been discussing the topics mentioned in the Lady's letter.
—I suppose one man in a dozen—said the Master—ought to be born a skeptic. That was the proportion among the Apostles, at any rate.
—I guess one man in every twelve—said the Master—should be born a skeptic. That’s the ratio among the Apostles, at least.
—So there was one Judas among them,—I remarked.
—So there was one Judas among them,—I noted.
—Well,—said the Master,—they 've been whitewashing Judas of late. But never mind him. I did not say there was not one rogue on the average among a dozen men. I don't see how that would interfere with my proposition. If I say that among a dozen men you ought to find one that weighs over a hundred and fifty pounds, and you tell me that there were twelve men in your club, and one of 'em had red hair, I don't see that you have materially damaged my statement.
—Well,—said the Master,—they've been trying to clean up Judas's image recently. But let’s not focus on that. I didn’t claim that there isn’t at least one dishonest person among a dozen men. I don’t see how that affects my point. If I say that in a group of twelve men, you should find one who weighs over a hundred and fifty pounds, and you tell me that there were twelve men in your club, and one of them had red hair, I don’t see how you’ve really challenged my statement.
—I thought it best to let the old Master have his easy victory, which was more apparent than real, very evidently, and he went on.
—I thought it was best to let the old Master have his easy victory, which was more obvious than genuine, clearly, and he continued on.
—When the Lord sends out a batch of human beings, say a hundred—Did you ever read my book, the new edition of it, I mean?
—When the Lord sends out a group of people, let's say a hundred—Have you ever read my book, the latest edition, I mean?
It is rather awkward to answer such a question in the negative, but I said, with the best grace I could, “No, not the last edition.”
It’s a bit uncomfortable to answer a question like that with a no, but I replied as politely as I could, “No, not the latest edition.”
—Well, I must give you a copy of it. My book and I are pretty much the same thing. Sometimes I steal from my book in my talk without mentioning it, and then I say to myself, “Oh, that won't do; everybody has read my book and knows it by heart.” And then the other I says,—you know there are two of us, right and left, like a pair of shoes,—the other I says, “You're a—something or other—fool. They have n't read your confounded old book; besides, if they have, they have forgotten all about it.” Another time, I say, thinking I will be very honest, “I have said something about that in my book”; and then the other I says, “What a Balaam's quadruped you are to tell 'em it's in your book; they don't care whether it is or not, if it's anything worth saying; and if it isn't worth saying, what are you braying for?” That is a rather sensible fellow, that other chap we talk with, but an impudent whelp. I never got such abuse from any blackguard in my life as I have from that No. 2 of me, the one that answers the other's questions and makes the comments, and does what in demotic phrase is called the “sarsing.”
—Well, I need to give you a copy of it. My book and I are pretty much the same thing. Sometimes I borrow from my book when I talk without mentioning it, and then I think to myself, “Oh, that won’t work; everyone has read my book and knows it by heart.” Then the other part of me says—you know there are two of us, right and left, like a pair of shoes—the other part says, “You’re a—something or other—fool. They haven’t read your stupid old book; besides, if they have, they’ve forgotten all about it.” Another time, I think I’ll be really honest, saying, “I mentioned something about that in my book”; and then the other part says, “What a fool you are to tell them it’s in your book; they don’t care whether it is or not if it’s worth saying; and if it isn’t worth saying, why are you talking about it?” That other guy we talk to is kind of sensible, but a real brat. I’ve never taken as much abuse from any jerk in my life as I have from that second version of me, the one that answers the other’s questions and makes the comments, and does what’s casually called the “sarcasm.”
—I laughed at that. I have just such a fellow always with me, as wise as Solomon, if I would only heed him; but as insolent as Shimei, cursing, and throwing stones and dirt, and behaving as if he had the traditions of the “ape-like human being” born with him rather than civilized instincts. One does not have to be a king to know what it is to keep a king's jester.
—I laughed at that. I have a guy like that with me all the time, as wise as Solomon, if I would just listen to him; but he's as rude as Shimei, cursing, throwing stones and dirt, and acting like he has the instincts of an “ape-like human being” instead of civilized behavior. You don't have to be a king to understand what it’s like to have a king's jester.
—I mentioned my book,—the Master said, because I have something in it on the subject we were talking about. I should like to read you a passage here and there out of it, where I have expressed myself a little more freely on some of those matters we handle in conversation. If you don't quarrel with it, I must give you a copy of the book. It's a rather serious thing to get a copy of a book from the writer of it. It has made my adjectives sweat pretty hard, I know, to put together an answer returning thanks and not lying beyond the twilight of veracity, if one may use a figure. Let me try a little of my book on you, in divided doses, as my friends the doctors say.
—I mentioned my book,—the Master said, because I have something in it related to what we were discussing. I’d like to read you some sections where I’ve expressed my thoughts a bit more openly on some of the topics we talk about in conversation. If you're okay with it, I should give you a copy of the book. It’s kind of a big deal to receive a book from its author. I know it’s made my adjectives work pretty hard to craft a response that’s grateful without straying too far from the truth, if I may use a metaphor. Let me share a bit of my book with you, in small portions, as my doctor friends like to say.
-Fiat experimentum in corpore vili,—I said, laughing at my own expense. I don't doubt the medicament is quite as good as the patient deserves, and probably a great deal better,—I added, reinforcing my feeble compliment.
-Fiat experimentum in corpore vili,—I said, laughing at my own expense. I don't doubt the medicine is just as good as the patient deserves, and probably a lot better,—I added, trying to strengthen my weak compliment.
[When you pay a compliment to an author, don't qualify it in the next sentence so as to take all the goodness out of it. Now I am thinking of it, I will give you one or two pieces of advice. Be careful to assure yourself that the person you are talking with wrote the article or book you praise. It is not very pleasant to be told, “Well, there, now! I always liked your writings, but you never did anything half so good as this last piece,” and then to have to tell the blunderer that this last piece is n't yours, but t' other man's. Take care that the phrase or sentence you commend is not one that is in quotation-marks. “The best thing in your piece, I think, is a line I do not remember meeting before; it struck me as very true and well expressed:
[When you compliment an author, don’t water it down in the next sentence and ruin it. Now that I think about it, I have a couple of pieces of advice. Make sure you confirm that the person you’re talking to actually wrote the article or book you’re praising. It’s not very nice to hear, “Well, there you go! I’ve always liked your writing, but you’ve never done anything as good as this last piece,” and then have to correct the mistake by saying that last piece isn’t yours but belongs to someone else. Also, ensure that the phrase or sentence you’re complimenting isn’t in quotation marks. “The best thing in your piece, in my opinion, is a line I don’t remember encountering before; it really struck me as true and well expressed:”
“'An honest man's the noblest work of God.'
“An honest man is the greatest creation of God.”
“But, my dear lady, that line is one which is to be found in a writer of the last century, and not original with me.” One ought not to have undeceived her, perhaps, but one is naturally honest, and cannot bear to be credited with what is not his own. The lady blushes, of course, and says she has not read much ancient literature, or some such thing. The pearl upon the Ethiop's arm is very pretty in verse, but one does not care to furnish the dark background for other persons' jewelry.]
"But, my dear lady, that line comes from a writer of the last century, and it's not original to me." It might have been better not to correct her, but I’m just being honest and can’t stand being attributed with something that isn’t mine. The lady blushes, of course, and says she hasn’t read much ancient literature, or something like that. The pearl on the Ethiopian's arm sounds nice in poetry, but I don’t want to provide the dark background for someone else's jewelry.
I adjourned from the table in company with the old Master to his apartments. He was evidently in easy circumstances, for he had the best accommodations the house afforded. We passed through a reception room to his library, where everything showed that he had ample means for indulging the modest tastes of a scholar.
I left the table with the old Master to go to his rooms. He clearly had a comfortable situation since he had the finest accommodations in the house. We went through a reception room to his library, where everything indicated that he had plenty of resources to enjoy the modest preferences of a scholar.
—The first thing, naturally, when one enters a scholar's study or library, is to look at his books. One gets a notion very speedily of his tastes and the range of his pursuits by a glance round his bookshelves.
—The first thing you notice when you enter a scholar's study or library is the books. You can quickly get an idea of their interests and the variety of their pursuits just by looking around the bookshelves.
Of course, you know there are many fine houses where the library is a part of the upholstery, so to speak. Books in handsome binding kept locked under plate-glass in showy dwarf bookcases are as important to stylish establishments as servants in livery; who sit with folded arms, are to stylish equipages. I suppose those wonderful statues with the folded arms do sometimes change their attitude, and I suppose those books with the gilded backs do sometimes get opened, but it is nobody's business whether they do or not, and it is not best to ask too many questions.
Of course, you know there are many nice homes where the library is part of the decor, so to speak. Books in beautiful bindings kept behind glass in flashy little bookcases are just as important to stylish places as liveried servants are to fancy carriages. I guess those impressive statues with their arms folded do occasionally change their pose, and I guess those books with golden spines do get opened from time to time, but it's really no one's concern whether they do or not, and it’s usually better not to ask too many questions.
This sort of thing is common enough, but there is another case that may prove deceptive if you undertake to judge from appearances. Once in a while you will come on a house where you will find a family of readers and almost no library. Some of the most indefatigable devourers of literature have very few books. They belong to book clubs, they haunt the public libraries, they borrow of friends, and somehow or other get hold of everything they want, scoop out all it holds for them, and have done with it. When I want a book, it is as a tiger wants a sheep. I must have it with one spring, and, if I miss it, go away defeated and hungry. And my experience with public libraries is that the first volume of the book I inquire for is out, unless I happen to want the second, when that is out.
This kind of situation happens pretty often, but there’s another scenario that can be misleading if you judge just by what you see. Sometimes you'll come across a home where the family loves to read but has almost no books. Some of the most passionate readers have very few titles. They join book clubs, visit public libraries often, borrow from friends, and somehow manage to find everything they want, absorb all it offers, and move on. When I want a book, it’s like a tiger wanting a sheep. I need to get it in one leap, and if I miss it, I leave feeling defeated and empty. My experience with public libraries is that the first volume I’m looking for is always checked out, unless I happen to want the second volume, in which case that one's also checked out.
—I was pretty well prepared to understand the Master's library and his account of it. We seated ourselves in two very comfortable chairs, and I began the conversation.
—I was pretty well prepared to understand the Master's library and his account of it. We settled into two very comfortable chairs, and I started the conversation.
-I see you have a large and rather miscellaneous collection of books. Did you get them together by accident or according to some preconceived plan?
-I see you have a big and quite random collection of books. Did you gather them by chance or did you have some kind of plan?
—Both, sir, both,—the Master answered. When Providence throws a good book in my way, I bow to its decree and purchase it as an act of piety, if it is reasonably or unreasonably cheap. I adopt a certain number of books every year, out of a love for the foundlings and stray children of other people's brains that nobody seems to care for. Look here.
—Both, sir, both,—the Master answered. When fate puts a good book in front of me, I respect that and buy it as a gesture of respect, whether it's a fair price or not. I choose a set number of books each year because I feel a connection to the neglected ideas and creations of others that no one seems to appreciate. Look here.
He took down a Greek Lexicon finely bound in calf, and spread it open.
He grabbed a beautifully bound Greek Lexicon and opened it up.
Do you see that Hedericus? I had Greek dictionaries enough and to spare, but I saw that noble quarto lying in the midst of an ignoble crowd of cheap books, and marked with a price which I felt to be an insult to scholarship, to the memory of Homer, sir, and the awful shade of AEschylus. I paid the mean price asked for it, and I wanted to double it, but I suppose it would have been a foolish sacrifice of coin to sentiment: I love that book for its looks and behavior. None of your “half-calf” economies in that volume, sir! And see how it lies open anywhere! There is n't a book in my library that has such a generous way of laying its treasures before you. From Alpha to Omega, calm, assured rest at any page that your choice or accident may light on. No lifting of a rebellious leaf like an upstart servant that does not know his place and can never be taught manners, but tranquil, well-bred repose. A book may be a perfect gentleman in its aspect and demeanor, and this book would be good company for personages like Roger Ascham and his pupils the Lady Elizabeth and the Lady Jane Grey.
Do you see that Hedericus? I had plenty of Greek dictionaries, but I noticed that elegant hardcover sitting among a bunch of cheap books, marked with a price that I thought was an insult to scholarship, to the legacy of Homer, and the ghost of Aeschylus. I paid the low price they asked for it, and I wanted to pay twice as much, but I figured that would be a silly sacrifice of money for sentiment: I love that book for its appearance and feel. None of those “half-calf” shortcuts in that volume! And look at how it opens up anywhere! There isn’t a book in my library that has such a generous way of displaying its treasures to you. From Alpha to Omega, you can find calm, assured rest at any page you choose or stumble upon. No struggling with a stubborn page like a rude servant who doesn’t know their place and can never be taught good manners, but instead, a peaceful, well-mannered presence. A book can be a true gentleman in its appearance and demeanor, and this book would be great company for figures like Roger Ascham and his students, the Lady Elizabeth and the Lady Jane Grey.
The Master was evidently riding a hobby, and what I wanted to know was the plan on which he had formed his library. So I brought him back to the point by asking him the question in so many words.
The Master was clearly focused on a passion project, and what I wanted to understand was the strategy he used to create his library. So I brought him back to the topic by asking him the question directly.
Yes,—he said,—I have a kind of notion of the way in which a library ought to be put together—no, I don't mean that, I mean ought to grow. I don't pretend to say that mine is a model, but it serves my turn well enough, and it represents me pretty accurately. A scholar must shape his own shell, secrete it one might almost say, for secretion is only separation, you know, of certain elements derived from the materials of the world about us. And a scholar's study, with the books lining its walls, is his shell. It is n't a mollusk's shell, either; it 's a caddice-worm's shell. You know about the caddice-worm?
Yes,—he said,—I have a sense of how a library should be organized—no, that’s not right, I mean how it should develop. I don’t claim mine is a perfect example, but it meets my needs just fine and reflects me pretty accurately. A scholar has to create his own space, you might say, because creating is really just pulling together certain elements from the world around us. And a scholar's study, with books filling its shelves, is his space. It’s not like a mollusk's shell; it’s more like a caddisworm's shell. You know about the caddisworm?
—More or less; less rather than more,—was my humble reply.
—More or less; less rather than more,—was my modest response.
Well, sir, the caddice-worm is the larva of a fly, and he makes a case for himself out of all sorts of bits of everything that happen to suit his particular fancy, dead or alive, sticks and stones and small shells with their owners in 'em, living as comfortable as ever. Every one of these caddice-worms has his special fancy as to what he will pick up and glue together, with a kind of natural cement he provides himself, to make his case out of. In it he lives, sticking his head and shoulders out once in a while, that is all. Don't you see that a student in his library is a caddice-worm in his case? I've told you that I take an interest in pretty much everything, and don't mean to fence out any human interests from the private grounds of my intelligence. Then, again, there is a subject, perhaps I may say there is more than one, that I want to exhaust, to know to the very bottom. And besides, of course I must have my literary harem, my pare aux cerfs, where my favorites await my moments of leisure and pleasure,—my scarce and precious editions, my luxurious typographical masterpieces; my Delilahs, that take my head in their lap: the pleasant story-tellers and the like; the books I love because they are fair to look upon, prized by collectors, endeared by old associations, secret treasures that nobody else knows anything about; books, in short, that I like for insufficient reasons it may be, but peremptorily, and mean to like and to love and to cherish till death us do part.
Well, sir, the caddice-worm is the larva of a fly, and it makes a case for itself from all kinds of bits and pieces that appeal to its fancy, whether they’re dead or alive—sticks, stones, and little shells with their owners still inside, living as comfortably as ever. Each caddice-worm has its own unique taste for what it will collect and stick together using a kind of natural cement it makes itself to create its case. It lives in there, poking its head and shoulders out now and then, and that’s about it. Don’t you see that a student in a library is like a caddice-worm in its case? I’ve told you that I take an interest in just about everything, and I don’t intend to exclude any human interests from my personal realm of knowledge. Moreover, there are some subjects—I’d say more than one—that I want to fully explore and understand deeply. Plus, of course, I must have my collection of favorite literary works, my private retreat, where my top picks wait for my free time and enjoyment—my rare and valuable editions, my exquisite printed masterpieces; my Delilahs that rest my head in their lap: the enjoyable storytellers and others like them; the books I love simply because they’re beautiful, cherished by collectors, dear to my heart due to old memories, secret treasures that no one else knows about; in short, books that I appreciate for reasons that might be insufficient, but I absolutely intend to love and cherish until death do us part.
Don't you see I have given you a key to the way my library is made up, so that you can apriorize the plan according to which I have filled my bookcases? I will tell you how it is carried out.
Don't you see I've given you a key to how my library is organized, so you can understand the layout I've used to fill my bookcases? I'll explain how it's done.
In the first place, you see, I have four extensive cyclopaedias. Out of these I can get information enough to serve my immediate purpose on almost any subject. These, of course, are supplemented by geographical, biographical, bibliographical, and other dictionaries, including of course lexicons to all the languages I ever meddle with. Next to these come the works relating to my one or two specialties, and these collections I make as perfect as I can. Every library should try to be complete on something, if it were only on the history of pin-heads. I don't mean that I buy all the trashy compilations on my special subjects, but I try to have all the works of any real importance relating to them, old as well as new. In the following compartment you will find the great authors in all the languages I have mastered, from Homer and Hesiod downward to the last great English name.
First of all, I have four comprehensive encyclopedias. From these, I can gather enough information to meet my immediate needs on almost any topic. These are, of course, supplemented by geographical, biographical, bibliographical, and various other dictionaries, including lexicons for all the languages I work with. Next to these, I focus on one or two specialties, and I strive to make those collections as complete as possible. Every library should aim to be thorough in something, even if it's just the history of pinheads. I don’t mean that I buy all the mediocre compilations on my specialty topics, but I do try to include all the significant works, both old and new. In the next section, you will find the great authors in all the languages I’ve mastered, from Homer and Hesiod down to the most recent notable English names.
This division, you see, you can make almost as extensive or as limited as you choose. You can crowd the great representative writers into a small compass; or you can make a library consisting only of the different editions of Horace, if you have space and money enough. Then comes the Harem, the shelf or the bookcase of Delilahs, that you have paid wicked prices for, that you love without pretending to be reasonable about it, and would bag in case of fire before all the rest, just as Mr. Townley took the Clytie to his carriage when the anti-Catholic mob threatened his house in 1780. As for the foundlings like my Hedericus, they go among their peers; it is a pleasure to take them, from the dusty stall where they were elbowed by plebeian school-books and battered odd volumes, and give them Alduses and Elzevirs for companions.
This division, you see, can be as broad or as narrow as you want. You can fit all the great writers into a small space, or you could create a library just with different editions of Horace, if you have enough room and money. Then there's the Harem, the shelf or bookcase of beloved treasures that you paid sky-high prices for, which you adore without pretending it makes sense, and you’d grab them first in a fire, just like Mr. Townley took the Clytie to his carriage when the anti-Catholic mob threatened his home in 1780. As for the foundlings like my Hedericus, they belong with their kind; it's a joy to rescue them from the dusty stall where they were squeezed in with cheap schoolbooks and worn-out volumes, and give them Alduses and Elzevirs as companions.
Nothing remains but the Infirmary. The most painful subjects are the unfortunates that have lost a cover. Bound a hundred years ago, perhaps, and one of the rich old browned covers gone—what a pity! Do you know what to do about it? I 'll tell you,—no, I 'll show you. Look at this volume. M. T. Ciceronis Opera,—a dozen of 'em,—one of 'em minus half his cover, a poor one-legged cripple, six months ago,—now see him.
Nothing is left but the Infirmary. The most painful cases are those poor souls who have lost a cover. Bound maybe a hundred years ago, and now one of the rich, faded covers is gone—what a shame! Do you know what to do about it? Let me tell you, no, let me show you. Look at this book. M. T. Ciceronis Opera—a dozen of them—one of them missing half its cover, a poor one-legged cripple, six months ago—now look at it.
—He looked very respectably indeed, both covers dark, ancient, very decently matched; one would hardly notice the fact that they were not twins.
—He looked quite respectable, both covers dark, old, and very well matched; one would hardly notice that they weren't identical.
-I 'll tell you what I did. You poor devil, said I, you are a disgrace to your family. We must send you to a surgeon and have some kind of a Taliacotian operation performed on you. (You remember the operation as described in Hudibras, of course.) The first thing was to find a subject of similar age and aspect ready to part with one of his members. So I went to Quidlibet's,—you know Quidlibet and that hieroglyphic sign of his with the omniscient-looking eye as its most prominent feature,—and laid my case before him. I want you, said I, to look up an old book of mighty little value,—one of your ten-cent vagabonds would be the sort of thing,—but an old beggar, with a cover like this, and lay it by for me.
-I’ll tell you what I did. You poor thing, I said, you're a disgrace to your family. We need to send you to a surgeon and get some kind of Taliacotian operation done on you. (You remember the operation from Hudibras, right?) The first step was to find someone of similar age and appearance who was willing to part with one of their limbs. So I went to Quidlibet's—you know Quidlibet and that strange sign he has with the all-seeing eye as its most noticeable feature—and shared my situation with him. I need you, I said, to dig up an old book of not much worth—something like your ten-cent throwaways would do—but a battered one, with a cover like this, and set it aside for me.
And Quidlibet, who is a pleasant body to deal with,—only he has insulted one or two gentlemanly books by selling them to me at very low-bred and shamefully insufficient prices,—Quidlibet, I say, laid by three old books for me to help myself from, and did n't take the trouble even to make me pay the thirty cents for 'em. Well, said I to myself, let us look at our three books that have undergone the last insult short of the trunkmaker's or the paper-mills, and see what they are. There may be something worth looking at in one or the other of 'em.
And Quidlibet, who is a nice person to work with—though he has offended a couple of classy books by selling them to me at ridiculously low and embarrassingly cheap prices—I say, Quidlibet set aside three old books for me to choose from, and didn’t even bother to make me pay the thirty cents for them. Well, I thought to myself, let’s check out our three books that have endured the last insult before ending up with the trunkmaker or the paper mills, and see what they are. There might be something worth looking at in one or the other of them.
Now do you know it was with a kind of a tremor that I untied the package and looked at these three unfortunates, too humble for the companionable dime to recognize as its equal in value. The same sort of feeling you know if you ever tried the Bible-and-key, or the Sortes Virgiliance. I think you will like to know what the three books were which had been bestowed upon me gratis, that I might tear away one of the covers of the one that best matched my Cicero, and give it to the binder to cobble my crippled volume with.
Now, do you realize I felt a bit nervous as I untied the package and looked at these three poor items, too modest for the friendly dime to see as equal in value? It’s that same feeling you get if you've ever tried the Bible-and-key method or the Sortes Virgiliance. I think you’d be interested to know what the three books were that were given to me for free, so I could remove the cover from the one that fit my Cicero best and give it to the binder to fix my damaged volume.
The Master took the three books from a cupboard and continued.
The Master took the three books from a cabinet and continued.
No. I. An odd volume of The Adventurer. It has many interesting things enough, but is made precious by containing Simon Browne's famous Dedication to the Queen of his Answer to Tindal's “Christianity as old as the Creation.” Simon Browne was the Man without a Soul. An excellent person, a most worthy dissenting minister, but lying under a strange delusion.
No. I. An unusual edition of The Adventurer. It has plenty of interesting content, but it’s especially valuable because it includes Simon Browne's well-known Dedication to the Queen from his response to Tindal's “Christianity as old as the Creation.” Simon Browne was the Man without a Soul. He was a great person, a highly respected dissenting minister, but he was caught in a peculiar delusion.
Here is a paragraph from his Dedication:
Here is a paragraph from his Dedication:
“He was once a man; and of some little name; but of no worth, as his present unparalleled case makes but too manifest; for by the immediate hand of an avenging GOD, his very thinking substance has, for more than seven years, been continually wasting away, till it is wholly perished out of him, if it be not utterly come to nothing. None, no, not the least remembrance of its very ruins, remains, not the shadow of an idea is left, nor any sense that so much as one single one, perfect or imperfect, whole or diminished, ever did appear to a mind within him, or was perceived by it.”
“He was once a man, known by a few, but not worth much, as his current extraordinary situation clearly shows. By the direct action of an avenging God, his entire being has been slowly deteriorating for over seven years, until it has mostly vanished, if it hasn’t completely disappeared. There’s nothing left, not even the faintest memory of what was once there; no trace of an idea remains, nor any sense that even a single thought, perfect or imperfect, whole or flawed, ever existed in his mind or was ever perceived by it.”
Think of this as the Dedication of a book “universally allowed to be the best which that controversy produced,” and what a flood of light it pours on the insanities of those self-analyzing diarists whose morbid reveries have been so often mistaken for piety! No. I. had something for me, then, besides the cover, which was all it claimed to have worth offering.
Think of this as the Dedication of a book “universally acknowledged to be the best that controversy produced,” and what a flood of light it shines on the craziness of those self-reflecting diarists whose unhealthy daydreams have often been misinterpreted as holiness! No. I. had something for me, then, besides the cover, which was all it claimed to have of value to offer.
No. II. was “A View of Society and Manners in Italy.” Vol. III. By John Moore, M. D. (Zeluco Moore.) You know his pleasant book. In this particular volume what interested me most, perhaps, was the very spirited and intelligent account of the miracle of the liquefaction of the blood of Saint Januarius, but it gave me an hour's mighty agreeable reading. So much for Number Two.
No. II. was “A View of Society and Manners in Italy.” Vol. III. By John Moore, M.D. (Zeluco Moore.) You know his enjoyable book. In this particular volume, what interested me the most was probably the lively and thoughtful description of the miracle of the liquefaction of the blood of Saint Januarius, which provided me with an hour of really enjoyable reading. That’s all for Number Two.
No. III. was “An ESSAY On the Great EFFECTS of Even Languid and Unheeded LOCAL MOTION.” By the Hon. Robert Boyle. Published in 1685, and, as appears from other sources, “received with great and general applause.” I confess I was a little startled to find how near this earlier philosopher had come to the modern doctrines, such as are illustrated in Tyndall's “Heat considered as a Mode of Motion.” He speaks of “Us, who endeavor to resolve the Phenomena of Nature into Matter and Local motion.” That sounds like the nineteenth century, but what shall we say to this? “As when a bar of iron or silver, having been well hammered, is newly taken off of the anvil; though the eye can discern no motion in it, yet the touch will readily perceive it to be very hot, and if you spit upon it, the brisk agitation of the insensible parts will become visible in that which they will produce in the liquor.” He takes a bar of tin, and tries whether by bending it to and fro two or three times he cannot “procure a considerable internal commotion among the parts “; and having by this means broken or cracked it in the middle, finds, as he expected, that the middle parts had considerably heated each other. There are many other curious and interesting observations in the volume which I should like to tell you of, but these will serve my purpose.
No. III. was “An ESSAY On the Great EFFECTS of Even Languid and Unheeded LOCAL MOTION.” By the Hon. Robert Boyle. Published in 1685, and, as seems evident from other sources, “received with great and general applause.” I admit I was a bit surprised to see how close this earlier philosopher came to the modern ideas, like those explained in Tyndall's “Heat considered as a Mode of Motion.” He mentions “Us, who try to explain the Phenomena of Nature through Matter and Local motion.” That sounds like the nineteenth century, but how about this? “As when a bar of iron or silver, after being well hammered, is newly taken off the anvil; though the eye can’t see any motion in it, yet the touch will easily feel it is very hot, and if you spit on it, the quick movement of the small parts will become visible in the reaction they cause in the liquid.” He takes a bar of tin and tests whether bending it back and forth a few times can “create a significant internal commotion among the parts”; and having done this, he finds, as he expected, that the inner parts had heated each other quite a bit. There are many other fascinating and interesting observations in the volume that I would like to share with you, but these will suffice for my purpose.
—Which book furnished you the old cover you wanted?—said I.
—Which book gave you the old cover you wanted?—I asked.
—Did he kill the owl?—said the Master, laughing. [I suppose you, the reader, know the owl story.]—It was Number Two that lent me one of his covers. Poor wretch! He was one of three, and had lost his two brothers. From him that hath not shall be taken even that which he hath. The Scripture had to be fulfilled in his case. But I couldn't help saying to myself, What do you keep writing books for, when the stalls are covered all over with 'em, good books, too, that nobody will give ten cents apiece for, lying there like so many dead beasts of burden, of no account except to strip off their hides? What is the use, I say? I have made a book or two in my time, and I am making another that perhaps will see the light one of these days. But if I had my life to live over again, I think I should go in for silence, and get as near to Nirvana as I could. This language is such a paltry tool! The handle of it cuts and the blade doesn't. You muddle yourself by not knowing what you mean by a word, and send out your unanswered riddles and rebuses to clear up other people's difficulties. It always seems to me that talk is a ripple and thought is a ground swell. A string of words, that mean pretty much anything, helps you in a certain sense to get hold of a thought, just as a string of syllables that mean nothing helps you to a word; but it's a poor business, it's a poor business, and the more you study definition the more you find out how poor it is. Do you know I sometimes think our little entomological neighbor is doing a sounder business than we people that make books about ourselves and our slippery abstractions? A man can see the spots on a bug and count 'em, and tell what their color is, and put another bug alongside of him and see whether the two are alike or different. And when he uses a word he knows just what he means. There is no mistake as to the meaning and identity of pulex irritans, confound him!
—Did he kill the owl?—the Master said, laughing. [I suppose you, the reader, know the owl story.]—It was Number Two who lent me one of his covers. Poor guy! He was one of three and had lost his two brothers. From him that has nothing shall be taken even that which he has. The Scripture had to be fulfilled in his case. But I couldn’t help thinking to myself, Why keep writing books when the shelves are filled with them, good books too, that no one will pay even ten cents for, just lying there like so many dead animals, worthless except to strip off their hides? What’s the point, I say? I’ve written a book or two, and I’m working on another that maybe will get published one of these days. But if I could live my life over, I think I’d go for silence and try to get as close to Nirvana as I could. This language is such a weak tool! The handle cuts, but the blade doesn’t. You confuse yourself by not knowing what you mean by a word, and you send out your unanswered riddles to try to clear up other people's confusion. It always seems to me that talking is just surface chatter while thinking is deep and resonant. A string of words that can mean just about anything helps you, in a way, to grasp a thought, just like a string of meaningless syllables helps you get to a word; but it’s a pointless endeavor, it’s a pointless endeavor, and the more you dig into definitions, the more you realize how futile it is. You know, I sometimes think our little entomological neighbor is actually doing a better job than people like us who write books about ourselves and our slippery ideas. A person can see the spots on a bug, count them, know their color, and compare it to another bug to see if they’re the same or different. And when he uses a word, he knows exactly what he means. There’s no doubt about the meaning and identity of pulex irritans, damn it!
—What if we should look in, some day, on the Scarabeeist, as he calls himself?—said I.—The fact is the Master had got agoing at such a rate that I was willing to give a little turn to the conversation.
—What if we were to check in on the Scarabeeist, as he calls himself?—I said.—The truth is the Master was getting so carried away that I wanted to change the subject a bit.
—Oh, very well,—said the Master,—I had some more things to say, but I don't doubt they'll keep. And besides, I take an interest in entomology, and have my own opinion on the meloe question.
—Oh, fine,—said the Master,—I had a few more things to say, but I’m sure they can wait. And besides, I’m interested in insects, and I have my own thoughts on the meloe issue.
—You don't mean to say you have studied insects as well as solar systems and the order of things generally?
—You can’t be serious that you’ve studied insects along with solar systems and how everything is organized?
—He looked pleased. All philosophers look pleased when people say to them virtually, “Ye are gods.” The Master says he is vain constitutionally, and thanks God that he is. I don't think he has enough vanity to make a fool of himself with it, but the simple truth is he cannot help knowing that he has a wide and lively intelligence, and it pleases him to know it, and to be reminded of it, especially in an oblique and tangential sort of way, so as not to look like downright flattery.
—He looked happy. All philosophers look happy when people basically say to them, “You are gods.” The Master claims he’s naturally vain and is grateful for it. I don't think he has so much vanity that it would lead him to act foolishly, but the plain truth is he can’t help but be aware of his broad and vibrant intelligence, and he enjoys knowing it and being reminded of it, especially in a subtle and indirect way, so it doesn’t come off as outright flattery.
Yes, yes, I have amused a summer or two with insects, among other things. I described a new tabanus,—horsefly, you know,—which, I think, had escaped notice. I felt as grand when I showed up my new discovery as if I had created the beast. I don't doubt Herschel felt as if he had made a planet when he first showed the astronomers Georgium Sidus, as he called it. And that reminds me of something. I was riding on the outside of a stagecoach from London to Windsor in the year—never mind the year, but it must have been in June, I suppose, for I bought some strawberries. England owes me a sixpence with interest from date, for I gave the woman a shilling, and the coach contrived to start or the woman timed it so that I just missed getting my change. What an odd thing memory is, to be sure, to have kept such a triviality, and have lost so much that was invaluable! She is a crazy wench, that Mnemosyne; she throws her jewels out of the window and locks up straws and old rags in her strong box.
Yes, yes, I've spent a couple of summers amused by insects, among other things. I described a new horsefly, which I think had gone unnoticed. I felt just as proud when I revealed my discovery as if I had created the creature myself. I don't doubt Herschel felt like he had discovered a planet when he first showed the astronomers Georgium Sidus, as he named it. That reminds me of something. I was riding on the outside of a stagecoach from London to Windsor in the year—never mind the year, but it must have been in June because I bought some strawberries. England owes me sixpence with interest from that date, since I gave the woman a shilling, and the coach managed to start just when I missed getting my change. What a strange thing memory is, holding onto such a trivial detail while losing so much that truly mattered! She's a wild one, that Mnemosyne; she throws her treasures out the window and locks up straws and old rags in her strongbox.
[De profundis! said I to myself, the bottom of the bushel has dropped out! Sancta—Maria, ora pro nobis!]
[De profundis! I said to myself, the bottom of the bushel has fallen out! Holy Mary, pray for us!]
—But as I was saying, I was riding on the outside of a stage-coach from London to Windsor, when all at once a picture familiar to me from my New England village childhood came upon me like a reminiscence rather than a revelation. It was a mighty bewilderment of slanted masts and spars and ladders and ropes, from the midst of which a vast tube, looking as if it might be a piece of ordnance such as the revolted angels battered the walls of Heaven with, according to Milton, lifted its muzzle defiantly towards the sky. Why, you blessed old rattletrap, said I to myself, I know you as well as I know my father's spectacles and snuff-box! And that same crazy witch of a Memory, so divinely wise and foolish, travels thirty-five hundred miles or so in a single pulse-beat, makes straight for an old house and an old library and an old corner of it, and whisks out a volume of an old cyclopaedia, and there is the picture of which this is the original. Sir William Herschel's great telescope! It was just about as big, as it stood there by the roadside, as it was in the picture, not much different any way. Why should it be? The pupil of your eye is only a gimlet-hole, not so very much bigger than the eye of a sail-needle, and a camel has to go through it before you can see him. You look into a stereoscope and think you see a miniature of a building or a mountain; you don't, you 're made a fool of by your lying intelligence, as you call it; you see the building and the mountain just as large as with your naked eye looking straight at the real objects. Doubt it, do you? Perhaps you'd like to doubt it to the music of a couple of gold five-dollar pieces. If you would, say the word, and man and money, as Messrs. Heenan and Morrissey have it, shall be forthcoming; for I will make you look at a real landscape with your right eye, and a stereoscopic view of it with your left eye, both at once, and you can slide one over the other by a little management and see how exactly the picture overlies the true landscape. We won't try it now, because I want to read you something out of my book.
—But as I was saying, I was riding outside a stagecoach from London to Windsor when suddenly a scene that reminded me of my childhood in a New England village hit me like a flashback rather than a revelation. It was a huge jumble of tilted masts, spars, ladders, and ropes, from which a massive tube, resembling a piece of artillery that the rebellious angels used to batter down the walls of Heaven, according to Milton, pointed its muzzle defiantly toward the sky. Why, you old rattletrap, I thought to myself, I know you as well as I know my dad's glasses and snuffbox! And that same wild witch named Memory, so oddly wise and foolish, travels about 3,500 miles in the blink of an eye, heads straight for an old house and an old library, and pulls out a volume of an old encyclopedia, and there’s the image that this is based on. Sir William Herschel's great telescope! It was just about the same size, standing there by the roadside, as it was in the picture—pretty much identical. Why wouldn’t it be? The pupil of your eye is just a tiny hole, not much bigger than the eye of a sewing needle, and a camel would have to fit through it for you to see him. You look into a stereoscope and think you see a tiny version of a building or a mountain; you don’t—you’re tricked by your so-called intelligence; you see the building and the mountain just as large as you would with your bare eyes staring straight at the real things. Doubt it, do you? Maybe you’d like to wager a couple of gold five-dollar bills on it. If you do, just say the word and both man and money, as Messrs. Heenan and Morrissey used to say, will be ready; because I’ll show you a real landscape with your right eye, and a stereoscopic view of it with your left eye, both at the same time, and you can slide one over the other with a little maneuvering to see how perfectly the picture overlays the actual landscape. We won't do that now, though, because I want to read you something from my book.
—I have noticed that the Master very rarely fails to come back to his original proposition, though he, like myself, is fond of zigzagging in order to reach it. Men's minds are like the pieces on a chess-board in their way of moving. One mind creeps from the square it is on to the next, straight forward, like the pawns. Another sticks close to its own line of thought and follows it as far as it goes, with no heed for others' opinions, as the bishop sweeps the board in the line of his own color. And another class of minds break through everything that lies before them, ride over argument and opposition, and go to the end of the board, like the castle. But there is still another sort of intellect which is very apt to jump over the thought that stands next and come down in the unexpected way of the knight. But that same knight, as the chess manuals will show you, will contrive to get on to every square of the board in a pretty series of moves that looks like a pattern of embroidery, and so these zigzagging minds like the Master's, and I suppose my own is something like it, will sooner or later get back to the square next the one they started from.
—I’ve noticed that the Master almost always returns to his original point, even though he, like me, enjoys taking a roundabout way to get there. People’s minds operate like chess pieces in how they move. One mind advances directly from square to square, just like the pawns. Another clings to its own line of thinking and follows it as far as it goes, ignoring others' perspectives, like the bishop moving along its own color. Then there are minds that push through any obstacles, charging over arguments and pushback to reach the end of the board, like the rook. But there’s also a type of intellect that tends to skip over the next thought and lands in unexpected places, like the knight. However, that same knight, as chess guides will explain, can manage to touch every square on the board in a series of moves that resembles an intricate pattern, and so these zigzagging minds, like the Master's, and I suppose mine is similar, will eventually return to the square next to the one they started from.
The Master took down a volume from one of the shelves. I could not help noticing that it was a shelf near his hand as he sat, and that the volume looked as if he had made frequent use of it. I saw, too, that he handled it in a loving sort of way; the tenderness he would have bestowed on a wife and children had to find a channel somewhere, and what more natural than that he should look fondly on the volume which held the thoughts that had rolled themselves smooth and round in his mind like pebbles on a beach, the dreams which, under cover of the simple artifices such as all writers use, told the little world of readers his secret hopes and aspirations, the fancies which had pleased him and which he could not bear to let die without trying to please others with them? I have a great sympathy with authors, most of all with unsuccessful ones. If one had a dozen lives or so, it would all be very well, but to have only a single ticket in the great lottery, and have that drawn a blank, is a rather sad sort of thing. So I was pleased to see the affectionate kind of pride with which the Master handled his book; it was a success, in its way, and he looked on it with a cheerful sense that he had a right to be proud of it. The Master opened the volume, and, putting on his large round glasses, began reading, as authors love to read that love their books.
The Master took a book down from one of the shelves. I couldn't help but notice that it was a shelf close to him as he sat, and that the book seemed like one he had used often. I also saw that he handled it with a kind of affection; the tenderness he would have given to a wife and children had to go somewhere, and what could be more natural than that he would look fondly at the book that held the ideas he had smoothed and polished in his mind like pebbles on a beach? Those dreams, hidden behind the simple tricks all writers use, shared with a small audience his secret hopes and aspirations, the thoughts that brought him joy and that he couldn’t bear to let fade without trying to share with others? I deeply sympathize with authors, especially those who aren’t successful. If someone had a dozen lives or so, it would be fine, but having only one chance in the big lottery and ending up with nothing is a pretty sad situation. So, I was glad to see the affectionate pride with which the Master held his book; it was a success in its own way, and he viewed it with a joyful sense that he had every reason to be proud of it. The Master opened the book, and, putting on his large round glasses, began reading, just like authors do when they love their books.
—The only good reason for believing in the stability of the moral order of things is to be found in the tolerable steadiness of human averages. Out of a hundred human beings fifty-one will be found in the long run on the side of the right, so far as they know it, and against the wrong. They will be organizers rather than disorganizers, helpers and not hinderers in the upward movement of the race. This is the main fact we have to depend on. The right hand of the great organism is a little stronger than the left, that is all.
—The only solid reason to believe in the stability of the moral order is the fairly consistent nature of human averages. Over time, out of a hundred people, fifty-one will stand with what they understand to be right and against what is wrong. They will be builders rather than destroyers, supporters instead of obstacles in the progress of humanity. This is the key fact we can rely on. The right side of the great organism is just slightly stronger than the left, and that’s all there is to it.
Now and then we come across a left-handed man. So now and then we find a tribe or a generation, the subject of what we may call moral left-handedness, but that need not trouble us about our formula. All we have to do is to spread the average over a wider territory or a longer period of time. Any race or period that insists on being left-handed must go under if it comes in contact with a right-handed one. If there were, as a general rule, fifty-one rogues in the hundred instead of forty-nine, all other qualities of mind and body being equally distributed between the two sections, the order of things would sooner or later end in universal disorder. It is the question between the leak and the pumps.
Now and then we come across a left-handed person. Similarly, we sometimes encounter a group or generation that we might describe as morally left-handed, but that doesn’t affect our principle. All we need to do is expand the average over a broader area or a longer time. Any group or era that insists on being left-handed will eventually fail if it encounters a right-handed one. If, as a general rule, there were fifty-one wrongdoers in every hundred instead of forty-nine, with all other mental and physical traits evenly distributed between the two groups, the overall situation would inevitably lead to chaos. It's a question of the leak versus the pumps.
It does not seem very likely that the Creator of all things is taken by surprise at witnessing anything any of his creatures do or think. Men have sought out many inventions, but they can have contrived nothing which did not exist as an idea in the omniscient consciousness to which past, present, and future are alike Now.
It doesn't seem very likely that the Creator of everything is surprised by anything his creations do or think. People have come up with many inventions, but they haven't created anything that wasn't already an idea in the all-knowing mind where past, present, and future are all the same moment.
We read what travellers tell us about the King of Dahomey, or the Fejee Island people, or the short and simple annals of the celebrities recorded in the Newgate Calendar, and do not know just what to make of these brothers and sisters of the race; but I do not suppose an intelligence even as high as the angelic beings, to stop short there, would see anything very peculiar or wonderful about them, except as everything is wonderful and unlike everything else.
We read what travelers say about the King of Dahomey, the people of Fiji, or the brief and straightforward accounts of famous figures noted in the Newgate Calendar, and we aren’t quite sure what to think about these siblings of our race. But I doubt that even an intelligence as high as that of angels would find anything particularly unique or amazing about them, except that everything is wonderful and different from everything else.
It is very curious to see how science, that is, looking at and arranging the facts of a case with our own eyes and our own intelligence, without minding what somebody else has said, or how some old majority vote went in a pack of intriguing ecclesiastics,—I say it is very curious to see how science is catching up with one superstition after another.
It’s really interesting to notice how science—meaning examining and organizing the facts for ourselves, using our own judgment and not being swayed by what others have said or how some old majority decision was made by a group of scheming church officials—has been gradually disproving one superstition after another.
There is a recognized branch of science familiar to all those who know anything of the studies relating to life, under the name of Teratology. It deals with all sorts of monstrosities which are to be met with in living beings, and more especially in animals. It is found that what used to be called lusus naturae, or freaks of nature, are just as much subject to laws as the naturally developed forms of living creatures.
There is a well-known branch of science that anyone who has studied life is familiar with, known as Teratology. It focuses on all types of abnormalities found in living beings, especially in animals. It turns out that what used to be referred to as lusus naturae, or freaks of nature, are just as governed by laws as the naturally developed forms of living creatures.
The rustic looks at the Siamese twins, and thinks he is contemplating an unheard-of anomaly; but there are plenty of cases like theirs in the books of scholars, and though they are not quite so common as double cherries, the mechanism of their formation is not a whit more mysterious than that of the twinned fruits. Such cases do not disturb the average arrangement; we have Changs and Engs at one pole, and Cains and Abels at the other. One child is born with six fingers on each hand, and another falls short by one or more fingers of his due allowance; but the glover puts his faith in the great law of averages, and makes his gloves with five fingers apiece, trusting nature for their counterparts.
The country person looks at the Siamese twins and thinks he’s seeing a unique phenomenon; however, there are plenty of similar cases documented by scholars, and while they aren’t quite as common as double cherries, the process of their formation isn’t any more mysterious than that of the paired fruits. These cases don’t disrupt the usual order; we have Changs and Engs at one end, and Cains and Abels at the other. One child is born with six fingers on each hand, while another is born with one or more fingers missing; but the glove maker believes in the law of averages and crafts his gloves with five fingers each, relying on nature to provide their counterparts.
Thinking people are not going to be scared out of explaining or at least trying to explain things by the shrieks of persons whose beliefs are disturbed thereby. Comets were portents to Increase Mather, President of Harvard College; “preachers of Divine wrath, heralds and messengers of evil tidings to the world.” It is not so very long since Professor Winthrop was teaching at the same institution. I can remember two of his boys very well, old boys, it is true, they were, and one of them wore a three-cornered cocked hat; but the father of these boys, whom, as I say, I can remember, had to defend himself against the minister of the Old South Church for the impiety of trying to account for earthquakes on natural principles. And his ancestor, Governor Winthrop, would probably have shaken his head over his descendant's dangerous audacity, if one may judge by the solemn way in which he mentions poor Mrs. Hutchinson's unpleasant experience, which so grievously disappointed her maternal expectations. But people used always to be terribly frightened by those irregular vital products which we now call “interesting specimens” and carefully preserve in jars of alcohol. It took next to nothing to make a panic; a child was born a few centuries ago with six teeth in its head, and about that time the Turks began gaining great advantages over the Christians. Of course there was an intimate connection between the prodigy and the calamity. So said the wise men of that day.
Thinking people aren’t going to be intimidated into silence about explaining or at least trying to explain things by the outbursts of those whose beliefs are challenged. Comets were seen as omens by Increase Mather, the President of Harvard College; “preachers of Divine wrath, heralds and messengers of evil tidings to the world.” It’s not that long ago that Professor Winthrop was teaching at the same school. I can clearly remember two of his sons; they were old, to be sure, and one of them wore a three-cornered hat; but their father had to defend himself against the minister of the Old South Church for the audacity of trying to explain earthquakes through natural causes. And his ancestor, Governor Winthrop, would probably have disapproved of his descendant's boldness, judging by the serious way he talks about poor Mrs. Hutchinson's unfortunate experience, which deeply disappointed her as a mother. People used to be terrified by those unusual living things that we now call “interesting specimens” and carefully keep in jars of alcohol. It took almost nothing to cause a panic; a child was born a few centuries ago with six teeth, and around that same time, the Turks started gaining significant advantages over Christians. Of course, there was a supposed connection between the miracle and the disaster. So said the wise men of that time.
—All these out-of-the-way cases are studied connectedly now, and are found to obey very exact rules. With a little management one can even manufacture living monstrosities. Malformed salmon and other fish can be supplied in quantity, if anybody happens to want them. Now, what all I have said is tending to is exactly this, namely, that just as the celestial movements are regulated by fixed laws, just as bodily monstrosities are produced according to rule, and with as good reason as normal shapes, so obliquities of character are to be accounted for on perfectly natural principles; they are just as capable of classification as the bodily ones, and they all diverge from a certain average or middle term which is the type of its kind. If life had been a little longer I would have written a number of essays for which, as it is, I cannot expect to have time. I have set down the titles of a hundred or more, and I have often been tempted to publish these, for according to my idea, the title of a book very often renders the rest of it unnecessary. “Moral Teratology,” for instance, which is marked No. 67 on my list of “Essays Potential, not Actual,” suggests sufficiently well what I should be like to say in the pages it would preface. People hold up their hands at a moral monster as if there was no reason for his existence but his own choice. That was a fine specimen we read of in the papers a few years ago, the Frenchman, it may be remembered, who used to waylay and murder young women, and after appropriating their effects, bury their bodies in a private cemetery he kept for that purpose. It is very natural, and I do not say it is not very proper, to hang such eccentric persons as this; but it is not clear whether his vagaries produce any more sensation at Headquarters than the meek enterprises of the mildest of city missionaries. For the study of Moral Teratology will teach you that you do not get such a malformed character as that without a long chain of causes to account for it; and if you only knew those causes, you would know perfectly well what to expect.
—All these unusual cases are studied together now and are found to follow very precise rules. With some effort, it's even possible to create living abnormality. Deformed salmon and other fish can be produced in large quantities if anyone wants them. What I've been getting at is this: just as celestial movements are governed by fixed laws, just as physical deformities are created systematically and just as reasonably as normal shapes, so deviations in character can be explained in completely natural ways; they can be classified just like physical deformities, all diverging from a certain average or typical type. If life had been a bit longer, I would have written several essays that, given the circumstances, I now can't expect to have time for. I've listed the titles of a hundred or more, and I've often thought about publishing these because, in my opinion, a book title can often make the rest of it unnecessary. "Moral Teratology," for example, which is labeled No. 67 on my list of "Essays Potential, not Actual," suggests quite well what I would mean to discuss in the pages it would introduce. People are shocked by a moral monster as if there's no reason for his existence other than his own choice. There was a notorious case in the news a few years ago about a Frenchman who used to ambush and murder young women, then steal their belongings and bury their bodies in a private graveyard he maintained for that purpose. It's very natural, and I don't deny it’s quite appropriate, to execute such eccentric individuals; however, it’s unclear whether his actions create more of a stir at Headquarters than the humble efforts of the gentlest city missionaries. The study of Moral Teratology will teach you that you don't get such a twisted character without a long chain of causes to explain it; and if you knew those causes, you'd understand perfectly well what to expect.
You may feel pretty sure that our friend of the private cemetery was not the child of pious and intelligent parents; that he was not nurtured by the best of mothers, and educated by the most judicious teachers; and that he did not come of a lineage long known and honored for its intellectual and moral qualities. Suppose that one should go to the worst quarter of the city and pick out the worst-looking child of the worst couple he could find, and then train him up successively at the School for Infant Rogues, the Academy for Young Scamps, and the College for Complete Criminal Education, would it be reasonable to expect a Francois Xavier or a Henry Martyn to be the result of such a training? The traditionists, in whose presumptuous hands the science of anthropology has been trusted from time immemorial, have insisted on eliminating cause and effect from the domain of morals. When they have come across a moral monster they have seemed to think that he put himself together, having a free choice of all the constituents which make up manhood, and that consequently no punishment could be too bad for him.
You might be pretty sure that our friend from the private cemetery didn’t come from pious and intelligent parents; that he wasn’t raised by the best mothers and didn’t learn from the most sensible teachers; and that he didn’t come from a family known for its long-standing intellectual and moral qualities. Imagine if someone went to the worst part of the city, found the worst-looking child of the worst couple, and then trained him at the School for Troubled Kids, the Academy for Young Delinquents, and the College for Criminal Mastery. Would it be reasonable to expect him to turn out like a Francois Xavier or a Henry Martyn? The traditionalists, who have held the field of anthropology with all their arrogance for centuries, have insisted on removing cause and effect from the realm of morals. When they encounter a moral monster, they seem to think he made himself, having free choice over all the traits that make up a person, and therefore no punishment could be too severe for him.
I say, hang him and welcome, if that is the best thing for society; hate him, in a certain sense, as you hate a rattlesnake, but, if you pretend to be a philosopher, recognize the fact that what you hate in him is chiefly misfortune, and that if you had been born with his villanous low forehead and poisoned instincts, and bred among creatures of the Races Maudites whose natural history has to be studied like that of beasts of prey and vermin, you would not have been sitting there in your gold-bowed spectacles and passing judgment on the peccadilloes of your fellow-creatures.
I say, hang him if that's what's best for society; dislike him, in a way, like you would a rattlesnake, but if you claim to be a philosopher, recognize that what you really hate in him is mainly his misfortune. If you had been born with his wicked low forehead and toxic instincts and raised among the Maudite Races, whose history is studied like that of predators and pests, you probably wouldn’t be sitting there in your fancy gold-rimmed glasses judging the minor faults of others.
I have seen men and women so disinterested and noble, and devoted to the best works, that it appeared to me if any good and faithful servant was entitled to enter into the joys of his Lord, such as these might be. But I do not know that I ever met with a human being who seemed to me to have a stronger claim on the pitying consideration and kindness of his Maker than a wretched, puny, crippled, stunted child that I saw in Newgate, who was pointed out as one of the most notorious and inveterate little thieves in London. I have no doubt that some of those who were looking at this pitiable morbid secretion of the diseased social organism thought they were very virtuous for hating him so heartily.
I have seen men and women so selfless and noble, completely dedicated to doing good, that it seemed to me if anyone truly deserved to enjoy the rewards of their hard work, it would be them. But I can't say I've ever encountered anyone who seemed more deserving of the compassion and kindness of their Creator than a miserable, frail, disabled child I saw in Newgate, who was pointed out as one of the most notorious little thieves in London. I'm sure some of those watching this sad result of a broken society believed they were really virtuous for despising him so much.
It is natural, and in one sense is all right enough. I want to catch a thief and put the extinguisher on an incendiary as much as my neighbors do; but I have two sides to my consciousness as I have two sides to my heart, one carrying dark, impure blood, and the other the bright stream which has been purified and vivified by the great source of life and death,—the oxygen of the air which gives all things their vital heat, and burns all things at last to ashes.
It’s natural, and in a way, it’s perfectly fine. I want to catch a thief and stop an arsonist just as much as my neighbors do; but I have two sides to my awareness just like I have two sides to my heart, one filled with dark, impure blood, and the other with the bright flow that has been cleansed and energized by the ultimate source of life and death—the oxygen in the air that gives everything its vital warmth and eventually reduces everything to ashes.
One side of me loves and hates; the other side of me judges, say rather pleads and suspends judgment. I think, if I were left to myself, I should hang a rogue and then write his apology and subscribe to a neat monument, commemorating, not his virtues, but his misfortunes. I should, perhaps, adorn the marble with emblems, as is the custom with regard to the more regular and normally constituted members of society. It would not be proper to put the image of a lamb upon the stone which marked the resting-place of him of the private cemetery. But I would not hesitate to place the effigy of a wolf or a hyena upon the monument. I do not judge these animals, I only kill them or shut them up. I presume they stand just as well with their Maker as lambs and kids, and the existence of such beings is a perpetual plea for God Almighty's poor, yelling, scalping Indians, his weasand-stopping Thugs, his despised felons, his murdering miscreants, and all the unfortunates whom we, picked individuals of a picked class of a picked race, scrubbed, combed, and catechized from our cradles upward, undertake to find accommodations for in another state of being where it is to be hoped they will have a better chance than they had in this.
One part of me feels love and hate; the other part judges, or rather begs and holds back judgment. I think, if I were left alone, I would hang a criminal and then write his apology and dedicate a nice monument, remembering not his virtues but his misfortunes. I might, perhaps, decorate the marble with symbols, as is usual for more conventional and normal members of society. It wouldn’t be right to put the image of a lamb on the stone marking the resting place of someone in a private cemetery. But I wouldn’t hesitate to place the figure of a wolf or a hyena on the monument. I don’t judge these animals; I just kill them or confine them. I assume they are just as good in the eyes of their Creator as lambs and kids are, and the existence of such creatures serves as a constant reminder for God’s poor, screaming, scalping Indians, his throat-choking Thugs, his hated felons, his murderous villains, and all the unfortunate people whom we, the chosen few of a selected class of a privileged race, scrubbed, groomed, and indoctrinated from our cradles onward, try to find a place for in another state of being where hopefully they will have a better chance than they did here.
The Master paused, and took off his great round spectacles. I could not help thinking that he looked benevolent enough to pardon Judas Iscariot just at that moment, though his features can knot themselves up pretty, formidably on occasion.
The Master paused and took off his big round glasses. I couldn't help but think that he looked kind enough to forgive Judas Iscariot at that moment, even though his face can look pretty threatening at times.
—You are somewhat of a phrenologist, I judge, by the way you talk of instinctive and inherited tendencies—I said.
—You seem a bit like a phrenologist, I think, judging by how you talk about instinctual and inherited tendencies—I said.
—They tell me I ought to be,—he answered, parrying my question, as I thought.—I have had a famous chart made out of my cerebral organs, according to which I ought to have been—something more than a poor Magister Artaum.
—They say I should be,—he replied, dodging my question, or so I thought.—I’ve had a detailed chart created of my brain, based on which I should have been—something more than just a struggling Magister Artaum.
—I thought a shade of regret deepened the lines on his broad, antique-looking forehead, and I began talking about all the sights I had seen in the way of monstrosities, of which I had a considerable list, as you will see when I tell you my weakness in that direction. This, you understand, Beloved, is private and confidential.
—I thought a hint of regret added to the lines on his wide, old-fashioned forehead, and I started talking about all the incredible sights I had seen, which included quite a few bizarre things, as you’ll see when I share my interest in that area. This, you know, my dear, is private and confidential.
I pay my quarter of a dollar and go into all the side-shows that follow the caravans and circuses round the country. I have made friends of all the giants and all the dwarfs. I became acquainted with Monsieur Bihin, le plus bel homme du monde, and one of the biggest, a great many years ago, and have kept up my agreeable relations with him ever since. He is a most interesting giant, with a softness of voice and tenderness of feeling which I find very engaging. I was on friendly terms with Mr. Charles Freeman, a very superior giant of American birth, seven feet four, I think, in height, “double-jointed,” of mylodon muscularity, the same who in a British prize-ring tossed the Tipton Slasher from one side of the rope to the other, and now lies stretched, poor fellow! in a mighty grave in the same soil which holds the sacred ashes of Cribb, and the honored dust of Burke,—not the one “commonly called the sublime,” but that other Burke to whom Nature had denied the sense of hearing lest he should be spoiled by listening to the praises of the admiring circles which looked on his dear-bought triumphs. Nor have I despised those little ones whom that devout worshipper of Nature in her exceptional forms, the distinguished Barnum, has introduced to the notice of mankind. The General touches his chapeau to me, and the Commodore gives me a sailor's greeting. I have had confidential interviews with the double-headed daughter of Africa,—so far, at least, as her twofold personality admitted of private confidences. I have listened to the touching experiences of the Bearded Lady, whose rough cheeks belie her susceptible heart. Miss Jane Campbell has allowed me to question her on the delicate subject of avoirdupois equivalents; and the armless fair one, whose embrace no monarch could hope to win, has wrought me a watch-paper with those despised digits which have been degraded from gloves to boots in our evolution from the condition of quadrumana.
I pay my quarter and go to all the side shows that follow the caravans and circuses around the country. I've made friends with all the giants and dwarfs. I got to know Monsieur Bihin, the most handsome man in the world, and one of the biggest, many years ago, and I've kept in touch with him ever since. He's a really interesting giant, with a gentle voice and a caring nature that I find very appealing. I was friendly with Mr. Charles Freeman, a remarkable American giant, who I think stands seven feet four, "double-jointed," and built like a mylodon. He’s the one who once tossed the Tipton Slasher across the ring in a British prize-fight, and now he's sadly lying in a grand grave in the same ground that holds the sacred ashes of Cribb and the honored dust of Burke—not the one often called sublime, but the other Burke, to whom nature denied the sense of hearing so he wouldn't be spoiled by the praises from the admiring crowds who witnessed his hard-earned victories. I also hold no disdain for the smaller ones that that devoted admirer of Nature in her unique forms, the distinguished Barnum, has introduced to the world. The General tips his hat to me, and the Commodore greets me like a sailor. I've had private chats with the two-headed daughter of Africa—at least as much as her dual personality would allow for confiding. I've listened to the touching stories of the Bearded Lady, whose rough cheeks hide a sensitive heart. Miss Jane Campbell let me ask her about the tricky subject of weight equivalents, and the armless woman—whose embrace no king could win—made me a watch-paper with those underrated fingers that have been demoted from gloves to boots in our evolution from primates.
I hope you have read my experiences as good-naturedly as the old Master listened to them. He seemed to be pleased with my whim, and promised to go with me to see all the side-shows of the next caravan. Before I left him he wrote my name in a copy of the new edition of his book, telling me that it would not all be new to me by a great deal, for he often talked what he had printed to make up for having printed a good deal of what he had talked.
I hope you've enjoyed reading my experiences as much as the old Master enjoyed listening to them. He seemed happy with my idea and promised to join me in checking out all the side-shows of the next caravan. Before I left him, he wrote my name in a copy of the new edition of his book, telling me that a lot of it wouldn’t be new to me because he often discussed what he had written to make up for having written a lot of what he had already discussed.
Here is the passage of his Poem the Young Astronomer read to us.
Here is the section of his poem that the young astronomer read to us.
WIND-CLOUDS AND STAR-DRIFTS. IV From my lone turret as I look around O'er the green meadows to the ring of blue, From slope, from summit, and from half-hid vale The sky is stabbed with dagger-pointed spires, Their gilded symbols whirling in the wind, Their brazen tongues proclaiming to the world, Here truth is sold, the only genuine ware; See that it has our trade-mark! You will buy Poison instead of food across the way, The lies of—this or that, each several name The standard's blazon and the battle-cry Of some true-gospel faction, and again The token of the Beast to all beside. And grouped round each I see a huddling crowd Alike in all things save the words they use; In love, in longing, hate and fear the same. Whom do we trust and serve? We speak of one And bow to many; Athens still would find The shrines of all she worshipped safe within Our tall barbarian temples, and the thrones That crowned Olympus mighty as of old. The god of music rules the Sabbath choir; The lyric muse must leave the sacred nine To help us please the dilettante's ear; Plutus limps homeward with us, as we leave The portals of the temple where we knelt And listened while the god of eloquence (Hermes of ancient days, but now disguised In sable vestments) with that other god Somnus, the son of Erebus and Nog, Fights in unequal contest for our souls; The dreadful sovereign of the under world Still shakes his sceptre at us, and we hear The baying of the triple-throated hound; Eros-is young as ever, and as fair The lovely Goddess born of ocean's foam. These be thy gods, O Israel! Who is he, The one ye name and tell us that ye serve, Whom ye would call me from my lonely tower To worship with the many-headed throng? Is it the God that walked in Eden's grove In the cool hour to seek our guilty sire? The God who dealt with Abraham as the sons Of that old patriarch deal with other men? The jealous God of Moses, one who feels An image as an insult, and is wroth With him who made it and his child unborn? The God who plagued his people for the sin Of their adulterous king, beloved of him, The same who offers to a chosen few The right to praise him in eternal song While a vast shrieking world of endless woe Blends its dread chorus with their rapturous hymn? Is this the God ye mean, or is it he Who heeds the sparrow's fall, whose loving heart Is as the pitying father's to his child, Whose lesson to his children is, “Forgive,” Whose plea for all, “They know not what they do” I claim the right of knowing whom I serve, Else is my service idle; He that asks My homage asks it from a reasoning soul. To crawl is not to worship; we have learned A drill of eyelids, bended neck and knee, Hanging our prayers on binges, till we ape The flexures of the many-jointed worm. Asia has taught her Aliabs and salaams To the world's children,—we have grown to men! We who have rolled the sphere beneath our feet To find a virgin forest, as we lay The beams of our rude temple, first of all Must frame its doorway high enough for man To pass unstooping; knowing as we do That He who shaped us last of living forms Has long enough been served by creeping things, Reptiles that left their foot-prints in the sand Of old sea-margins that have turned to stone, And men who learned their ritual; we demand To know him first, then trust him and then love When we have found him worthy of our love, Tried by our own poor hearts and not before; He must be truer than the truest friend, He must be tenderer than a woman's love, A father better than the best of sires; Kinder than she who bore us, though we sin Oftener than did the brother we are told, We-poor ill-tempered mortals-must forgive, Though seven times sinning threescore times and ten. This is the new world's gospel: Be ye men! Try well the legends of the children's time; Ye are the chosen people, God has led Your steps across the desert of the deep As now across the desert of the shore; Mountains are cleft before you as the sea Before the wandering tribe of Israel's sons; Still onward rolls the thunderous caravan, Its coming printed on the western sky, A cloud by day, by night a pillared flame; Your prophets are a hundred unto one Of them of old who cried, “Thus saith the Lord”; They told of cities that should fall in heaps, But yours of mightier cities that shall rise Where yet the lonely fishers spread their nets, Where hides the fox and hoots the midnight owl; The tree of knowledge in your garden grows Not single, but at every humble door; Its branches lend you their immortal food, That fills you with the sense of what ye are, No servants of an altar hewed and carved From senseless stone by craft of human hands, Rabbi, or dervish, Brahmin, bishop, bonze, But masters of the charm with which they work To keep your hands from that forbidden tree! Ye that have tasted that divinest fruit, Look on this world of yours with opened eyes! Ye are as gods! Nay, makers of your gods, Each day ye break an image in your shrine And plant a fairer image where it stood Where is the Moloch of your fathers' creed, Whose fires of torment burned for span-long babes? Fit object for a tender mother's love! Why not? It was a bargain duly made For these same infants through the surety's act Intrusted with their all for earth and heaven, By Him who chose their guardian, knowing well His fitness for the task,—this, even this, Was the true doctrine only yesterday As thoughts are reckoned,—and to-day you hear In words that sound as if from human tongues Those monstrous, uncouth horrors of the past That blot the blue of heaven and shame the earth As would the saurians of the age of slime, Awaking from their stony sepulchres And wallowing hateful in the eye of day!
WIND-CLOUDS AND STAR-DRIFTS. IV From my lonely tower, as I look around Over the green meadows to the ring of blue, From hill, from peak, and from half-hidden valley The sky is pierced with pointed spires, Their golden symbols swirling in the wind, Their loud voices proclaiming to the world, Here, truth is sold, the only real goods; Make sure it has our brand! You might end up buying Poison instead of food across the way, The lies of—this or that, each distinct name The standard's emblem and the rallying cry Of some true-believer group, and again The mark of the Beast to all others. And gathered around each I see a huddled crowd Identical in everything except the words they use; In love, in longing, hate, and fear the same. Whom do we trust and serve? We talk of one And bow to many; Athens would still find The shrines of all she worshipped safe inside Our tall barbarian temples, and the thrones That crowned Olympus powerful as before. The god of music leads the Sabbath choir; The lyric muse must leave the sacred nine To help us please the taste of the casual listener; Plutus limps homeward with us as we leave The doors of the temple where we knelt And listened while the god of speech (Hermes of ancient days, but now disguised In dark clothing) battles with that other god Somnus, the son of Erebus and Night, In an uneven contest for our souls; The fearsome ruler of the underworld Still shakes his staff at us, and we hear The howling of the three-headed hound; Eros is as young as ever, and as beautiful The lovely Goddess born of ocean's foam. These are your gods, O Israel! Who is he, The one you name and say you serve, Whom you would call me from my lonely tower To worship with the many-headed crowd? Is it the God who walked in Eden's garden In the cool hour to seek our guilty ancestor? The God who interacted with Abraham as the sons Of that old patriarch interact with other men? The jealous God of Moses, one who perceives An image as an insult, and is angry With the one who created it and his unborn child? The God who punished his people for the sin Of their unfaithful king, beloved of him, The same who offers to a chosen few The chance to praise him in eternal song While a vast, screaming world of endless suffering Joins its terrifying chorus with their joyful hymn? Is this the God you mean, or is it he Who notices the sparrow's fall, whose loving heart Is like a caring father's to his child, Whose lesson to his children is, “Forgive,” Whose plea for all is, “They know not what they do.” I claim the right to know whom I serve, Otherwise, my service is meaningless; He who asks My devotion asks it from a reasoning soul. To crawl is not to worship; we have learned A routine of eyelids, bent neck, and knee, Hanging our prayers on hinges, until we imitate The movements of the many-jointed worm. Asia has taught her greetings and bows To the world's children—we have grown to men! We who have rolled the earth beneath our feet To find a virgin forest, as we lay The beams of our rough temple, first of all Must build its entrance high enough for humans To pass without bending; knowing as we do That He who shaped us last of living forms Has been served long enough by crawling things, Reptiles that left their footprints in the sand Of ancient shorelines that have turned to stone, And men who learned their rituals; we demand To know him first, then trust him and then love Once we have found him worthy of our love, Tested by our own flawed hearts and not before; He must be truer than the truest friend, He must be more tender than a woman's love, A father better than the best of dads; Kinder than she who bore us, though we sin More often than did the brother we speak of, We—poor ill-tempered mortals—must forgive, Though seven times sinning seventy times and ten. This is the new world's gospel: Be ye men! Question well the tales of children's days; You are the chosen people, God has led Your steps across the desert of the deep As now across the desert of the shore; Mountains are split before you as the sea Before the wandering tribe of Israel's sons; Still onward rolls the thunderous caravan, Its arrival marked on the western sky, A cloud by day, by night a pillar of flame; Your prophets are a hundred to one Of the old ones who cried, “Thus says the Lord”; They predicted cities that would fall in ruins, But yours of mightier cities that shall rise Where yet the lonely fishermen spread their nets, Where lay the fox and hoots the midnight owl; The tree of knowledge in your garden grows Not single, but at every humble door; Its branches offer you their immortal food, That fills you with an awareness of who you are, No servants of an altar carved from stone By human hands, Rabbi, or dervish, Brahmin, bishop, monk, But masters of the magic they wield To keep your hands from that forbidden tree! You who have tasted that divine fruit, Look on this world of yours with opened eyes! You are as gods! No, creators of your gods, Each day you break an image in your shrine And place a fairer image where it stood. Where is the Moloch of your fathers' faith, Whose fires of torment burned for brief babies? A fitting object for a loving mother's care! Why not? It was a deal properly made For these same infants through the surety's act Entrusted with their all for earth and heaven, By Him who chose their protector, knowing well His suitability for the task—this, even this, Was the true doctrine only yesterday As thoughts are counted—and today you hear In words that seem to come from human tongues Those monstrous, uncouth horrors of the past That stain the blue of heaven and shame the earth As would the reptiles of the age of slime, Awakening from their stony graves And wallowing hideously in the light of day!
Four of us listened to these lines as the young man read them,—the Master and myself and our two ladies. This was the little party we got up to hear him read. I do not think much of it was very new to the Master or myself. At any rate, he said to me when we were alone, That is the kind of talk the “natural man,” as the theologians call him, is apt to fall into.
Four of us listened as the young man read these lines—the Master, me, and our two ladies. This was the small group we gathered to hear him read. I don’t think there was much in it that was very new to either the Master or me. Anyway, he said to me when we were alone, “That’s the kind of talk the ‘natural man,’ as the theologians call him, tends to fall into.”
—I thought it was the Apostle Paul, and not the theologians, that used the term “natural man”, I ventured to suggest.
—I thought it was the Apostle Paul and not the theologians who used the term “natural man,” I suggested.
—I should like to know where the Apostle Paul learned English?—said the Master, with the look of one who does not mean to be tripped up if he can help himself.—But at any rate,—he continued,—the “natural man,” so called, is worth listening to now and then, for he didn't make his nature, and the Devil did n't make it; and if the Almighty made it, I never saw or heard of anything he made that wasn't worth attending to.
—I’d like to know where the Apostle Paul learned English?—said the Master, looking like someone who isn’t going to be caught off guard if he can help it.—But anyway,—he continued,—the “natural man,” as he's called, is worth listening to from time to time, because he didn’t create his own nature, and the Devil didn’t create it either; and if the Almighty made it, I’ve never seen or heard of anything He made that wasn't worth paying attention to.
The young man begged the Lady to pardon anything that might sound harshly in these crude thoughts of his. He had been taught strange things, he said, from old theologies, when he was a child, and had thought his way out of many of his early superstitions. As for the Young Girl, our Scheherezade, he said to her that she must have got dreadfully tired (at which she colored up and said it was no such thing), and he promised that, to pay for her goodness in listening, he would give her a lesson in astronomy the next fair evening, if she would be his scholar, at which she blushed deeper than before, and said something which certainly was not No.
The young man asked the Lady to forgive anything that might come off as harsh in these rough thoughts of his. He mentioned that he'd learned strange things from old beliefs when he was a kid and had worked his way through many of his childhood superstitions. As for the Young Girl, our Scheherezade, he told her that she must be exhausted (at which she blushed and insisted it was not true), and he promised that to repay her kindness in listening, he would give her a lesson in astronomy the next nice evening, if she would be his student, which made her blush even more and say something that definitely wasn’t a No.
IX
There was no sooner a vacancy on our side of the table, than the Master proposed a change of seats which would bring the Young Astronomer into our immediate neighborhood. The Scarabee was to move into the place of our late unlamented associate, the Man of Letters, so called. I was to take his place, the Master to take mine, and the young man that which had been occupied by the Master. The advantages of this change were obvious. The old Master likes an audience, plainly enough; and with myself on one side of him, and the young student of science, whose speculative turn is sufficiently shown in the passages from his poem, on the other side, he may feel quite sure of being listened to. There is only one trouble in the arrangement, and that is that it brings this young man not only close to us, but also next to our Scheherezade.
As soon as there was an open seat at our table, the Master suggested we switch seats to bring the Young Astronomer closer to us. The Scarabee would take the spot of our recently departed associate, the so-called Man of Letters. I would take his seat, the Master would take mine, and the young man would take the Master's previous position. The benefits of this change were clear. The old Master clearly enjoys having an audience, and with me on one side of him and the young science student, whose thoughtful nature is evident in his poetry, on the other, he can be confident that he’ll have listeners. The only issue with this setup is that it not only brings this young man closer to us, but also right next to our Scheherezade.
I am obliged to confess that he has shown occasional marks of inattention even while the Master was discoursing in a way that I found agreeable enough. I am quite sure it is no intentional disrespect to the old Master. It seems to me rather that he has become interested in the astronomical lessons he has been giving the Young Girl. He has studied so much alone, that it is naturally a pleasure to him to impart some of his knowledge. As for his young pupil, she has often thought of being a teacher herself, so that she is of course very glad to acquire any accomplishment that may be useful to her in that capacity. I do not see any reason why some of the boarders should have made such remarks as they have done. One cannot teach astronomy to advantage, without going out of doors, though I confess that when two young people go out by daylight to study the stars, as these young folks have done once or twice, I do not so much wonder at a remark or suggestion from those who have nothing better to do than study their neighbors.
I have to admit that he has occasionally shown signs of not paying attention even while the Master was talking in a way that I found quite agreeable. I’m sure it’s not intentional disrespect toward the old Master. It seems to me that he has become interested in the astronomy lessons he has been giving the Young Girl. He has studied a lot on his own, so it’s only natural that he enjoys sharing some of his knowledge. As for his young pupil, she has often thought about becoming a teacher herself, so she’s really glad to learn any skills that might be helpful to her in that role. I don’t understand why some of the other boarders have made the remarks they did. You can’t teach astronomy effectively without going outside, though I admit that when two young people go out during the day to study the stars, like these two have done once or twice, I can see why those who have nothing better to do than watch their neighbors might comment.
I ought to have told the reader before this that I found, as I suspected, that our innocent-looking Scheherezade was at the bottom of the popgun business. I watched her very closely, and one day, when the little monkey made us all laugh by stopping the Member of the Haouse in the middle of a speech he was repeating to us,—it was his great effort of the season on a bill for the protection of horn-pout in Little Muddy River,—I caught her making the signs that set him going. At a slight tap of her knife against her plate, he got all ready, and presently I saw her cross her knife and fork upon her plate, and as she did so, pop! went the small piece of artillery. The Member of the Haouse was just saying that this bill hit his constitooents in their most vital—when a pellet hit him in the feature of his countenance most exposed to aggressions and least tolerant of liberties. The Member resented this unparliamentary treatment by jumping up from his chair and giving the small aggressor a good shaking, at the same time seizing the implement which had caused his wrath and breaking it into splinters. The Boy blubbered, the Young Girl changed color, and looked as if she would cry, and that was the last of these interruptions.
I should have told the reader earlier that I discovered, as I suspected, that our seemingly innocent Scheherezade was behind the popgun antics. I kept a close eye on her, and one day, when the little monkey made us all laugh by interrupting the Member of the House in the middle of a speech he was giving us—it was his big speech of the season about a bill for protecting horn-pout in Little Muddy River—I caught her signaling him to start. With just a light tap of her knife against her plate, he got ready, and soon after, I saw her cross her knife and fork on her plate, and as she did that, pop! went the little piece of artillery. The Member of the House was just saying that this bill affected his constituents in their most vital—when a pellet hit him in the part of his face most exposed and least tolerant of such interruptions. The Member reacted to this rude behavior by jumping up from his chair and giving the little troublemaker a good shaking, while also grabbing the object that caused his anger and smashing it into pieces. The Boy cried, the Young Girl turned pale and looked like she was about to cry too, and that was the end of those interruptions.
I must own that I have sometimes wished we had the popgun back, for it answered all the purpose of “the previous question” in a deliberative assembly. No doubt the Young Girl was capricious in setting the little engine at work, but she cut short a good many disquisitions that threatened to be tedious. I find myself often wishing for her and her small fellow-conspirator's intervention, in company where I am supposed to be enjoying myself. When my friend the politician gets too far into the personal details of the quorum pars magna fui, I find myself all at once exclaiming in mental articulation, Popgun! When my friend the story-teller begins that protracted narrative which has often emptied me of all my voluntary laughter for the evening, he has got but a very little way when I say to myself, What wouldn't I give for a pellet from that popgun! In short, so useful has that trivial implement proved as a jaw-stopper and a boricide, that I never go to a club or a dinner-party, without wishing the company included our Scheherezade and That Boy with his popgun.
I have to admit that I sometimes wish we had the popgun back because it effectively handled the "previous question" in meetings. Sure, the Young Girl was a bit unpredictable with that little gadget, but it cut short quite a few discussions that were about to drag on. I often find myself longing for her and her small co-conspirator to step in when I’m in situations where I’m expected to be having a good time. When my politician friend dives too deep into the personal stories of the quorum pars magna fui, I suddenly find myself thinking, Popgun! And when my storyteller friend launches into a long narrative that’s drained all my laughter for the night, he barely gets started before I'm wishing for a pellet from that popgun! In short, that silly little tool has proven so handy as a conversation-stopper and a boredom buster that I never attend a club or dinner party without wishing our Scheherezade and That Boy with his popgun were there.
How clearly I see now into the mechanism of the Young Girl's audacious contrivance for regulating our table-talk! Her brain is tired half the time, and she is too nervous to listen patiently to what a quieter person would like well enough, or at least would not be annoyed by. It amused her to invent a scheme for managing the headstrong talkers, and also let off a certain spirit of mischief which in some of these nervous girls shows itself in much more questionable forms. How cunning these half-hysteric young persons are, to be sure! I had to watch a long time before I detected the telegraphic communication between the two conspirators. I have no doubt she had sedulously schooled the little monkey to his business, and found great delight in the task of instruction.
How clearly I see now into the way the Young Girl cleverly manages our conversations at the table! Her mind is tired half the time, and she’s too anxious to patiently listen to what a more relaxed person would find perfectly fine, or at least wouldn’t mind. It amused her to come up with a plan to handle the headstrong talkers, and it also let out a bit of mischief that some of these nervous girls express in much more questionable ways. These half-hysterical young women are so cunning! I had to watch for a long time before I figured out the secret communication between the two conspirators. I’m sure she had carefully trained the little monkey for his role and found great joy in teaching him.
But now that our Scheherezade has become a scholar instead of a teacher, she seems to be undergoing a remarkable transformation. Astronomy is indeed a noble science. It may well kindle the enthusiasm of a youthful nature. I fancy at times that I see something of that starry light which I noticed in the young man's eyes gradually kindling in hers. But can it be astronomy alone that does it? Her color comes and goes more readily than when the old Master sat next her on the left. It is having this young man at her side, I suppose. Of course it is. I watch her with great, I may say tender interest. If he would only fall in love with her, seize upon her wandering affections and fancies as the Romans seized the Sabine virgins, lift her out of herself and her listless and weary drudgeries, stop the outflow of this young life which is draining itself away in forced literary labor—dear me, dear me—if, if, if—
But now that our Scheherezade has become a scholar instead of a teacher, she seems to be going through a remarkable transformation. Astronomy is definitely a noble science. It might spark the enthusiasm of a youthful spirit. I sometimes think I see a bit of that starry light, which I noticed in the young man's eyes, slowly igniting in hers. But can it be just astronomy that’s doing it? Her complexion changes more easily than when the old Master sat next to her on the left. It must be having this young man by her side, I suppose. Of course it is. I watch her with great, I can say, tender interest. If only he would fall in love with her, capture her wandering affections and dreams like the Romans did with the Sabine women, lift her out of herself and her dull and exhausting tasks, stop the flow of this young life that is draining away with forced literary work—oh dear, oh dear—if, if, if—
“If I were God An' ye were Martin Elginbrod!”
“If I were God And you were Martin Elginbrod!”
I am afraid all this may never be. I fear that he is too much given to lonely study, to self-companionship, to all sorts of questionings, to looking at life as at a solemn show where he is only a spectator. I dare not build up a romance on what I have yet seen. My reader may, but I will answer for nothing. I shall wait and see.
I’m afraid this may never happen. I worry that he spends too much time alone studying, engaging in his own thoughts, questioning everything, and viewing life like a serious performance where he’s just an audience member. I can’t create a fantasy based on what I’ve seen so far. My reader might, but I can’t make any promises. I’ll just wait and see.
The old Master and I have at last made that visit to the Scarabee which we had so long promised ourselves.
The old Master and I have finally made that trip to the Scarabee that we had promised ourselves for so long.
When we knocked at his door he came and opened it, instead of saying, Come in. He was surprised, I have no doubt, at the sound of our footsteps; for he rarely has a visitor, except the little monkey of a boy, and he may have thought a troop of marauders were coming to rob him of his treasures. Collectors feel so rich in the possession of their rarer specimens, that they forget how cheap their precious things seem to common eyes, and are as afraid of being robbed as if they were dealers in diamonds. They have the name of stealing from each other now and then, it is true, but many of their priceless possessions would hardly tempt a beggar. Values are artificial: you will not be able to get ten cents of the year 1799 for a dime.
When we knocked on his door, he came and opened it without saying, "Come in." He was probably surprised by the sound of our footsteps since he hardly ever has visitors, except for that little monkey of a boy. He might have thought a group of thieves was coming to steal his treasures. Collectors feel so wealthy because of their rare items that they forget how cheap their precious belongings look to ordinary people, and they are as scared of being robbed as if they were dealing in diamonds. It's true they occasionally get called out for stealing from each other, but many of their priceless items wouldn't even attract a beggar. Values are just made-up: you won’t get ten cents from the year 1799 for a modern dime.
The Scarabee was reassured as soon as he saw our faces, and he welcomed us not ungraciously into his small apartment. It was hard to find a place to sit down, for all the chairs were already occupied by cases and boxes full of his favorites. I began, therefore, looking round the room. Bugs of every size and aspect met my eyes wherever they turned. I felt for the moment as I suppose a man may feel in a fit of delirium tremens. Presently my attention was drawn towards a very odd-looking insect on the mantelpiece. This animal was incessantly raising its arms as if towards heaven and clasping them together, as though it were wrestling in prayer.
The Scarabee relaxed as soon as he saw us, and he kindly welcomed us into his small apartment. It was hard to find a place to sit since all the chairs were already taken up by cases and boxes filled with his favorite things. So, I started looking around the room. Bugs of every size and shape were everywhere I looked. For a moment, I felt like a person in the grips of delirium tremens. Soon, my attention was caught by a very strange-looking insect on the mantelpiece. This creature was constantly raising its arms as if reaching for the sky and clasping them together, almost as if it were praying.
Do look at this creature,—I said to the Master, he seems to be very hard at work at his devotions.
Do take a look at this creature,—I said to the Master, he seems to be really focused on his prayers.
Mantas religiosa,—said the Master,—I know the praying rogue. Mighty devout and mighty cruel; crushes everything he can master, or impales it on his spiny shanks and feeds upon it, like a gluttonous wretch as he is. I have seen the Mantis religiosa on a larger scale than this, now and then. A sacred insect, sir,—sacred to many tribes of men; to the Hottentots, to the Turks, yes, sir, and to the Frenchmen, who call the rascal prie dieu, and believe him to have special charge of children that have lost their way.
Mantis religiosa,—said the Master,—I know that praying mantis. Very devout and very cruel; it crushes everything it can overpower, or impales it on its spiny legs and devours it, just like the greedy creature it is. I have seen the Mantis religiosa in larger sizes than this, now and then. A sacred insect, sir,—sacred to many tribes of people; to the Hottentots, to the Turks, yes, sir, and to the French, who call the rascal prie dieu, believing it has a special role in guiding lost children.
Doesn't it seem as if there was a vein of satire as well as of fun that ran through the solemn manifestations of creative wisdom? And of deception too—do you see how nearly those dried leaves resemble an insect?
Doesn't it seem like there's a mix of satire and humor running through the serious displays of creative insight? And there's a sense of trickery as well—do you see how closely those dried leaves look like an insect?
They do, indeed,—I answered,—but not so closely as to deceive me. They remind me of an insect, but I could not mistake them for one.
They really do, I replied, but not closely enough to trick me. They remind me of an insect, but I couldn’t confuse them for one.
—Oh, you couldn't mistake those dried leaves for an insect, hey? Well, how can you mistake that insect for dried leaves? That is the question; for insect it is,—phyllum siccifolium, the “walking leaf,” as some have called it.—The Master had a hearty laugh at my expense.
—Oh, you couldn't confuse those dried leaves for an insect, right? Well, how can you confuse that insect for dried leaves? That’s the question; because it is an insect,—phyllum siccifolium, the “walking leaf,” as some people call it.—The Master had a good laugh at my expense.
The Scarabee did not seem to be amused at the Master's remarks or at my blunder. Science is always perfectly serious to him; and he would no more laugh over anything connected with his study, than a clergyman would laugh at a funeral.
The Scarabee didn’t seem to find the Master’s comments or my mistake funny. For him, science is always completely serious; he wouldn’t laugh about anything related to his work any more than a clergyman would laugh at a funeral.
They send me all sorts of trumpery,—he said, Orthoptera and Lepidoptera; as if a coleopterist—a scarabeeist—cared for such things. This business is no boy's play to me. The insect population of the world is not even catalogued yet, and a lifetime given to the scarabees is a small contribution enough to their study. I like your men of general intelligence well enough,—your Linnwuses and your Buffons and your Cuviers; but Cuvier had to go to Latreille for his insects, and if Latreille had been able to consult me,—yes, me, gentlemen!—he would n't have made the blunders he did about some of the coleoptera.
"They send me all kinds of nonsense," he said, "Orthoptera and Lepidoptera; as if a beetle expert—a scarab expert—cared about that stuff. This work is no child's play for me. The world's insect population isn't even fully cataloged yet, and dedicating a lifetime to studying scarabs is just a small contribution. I have no problem with your men of general knowledge—your Linnaeuses, Buffons, and Cuviers; but Cuvier had to turn to Latreille for his insects, and if Latreille had been able to consult me—yes, me, gentlemen!—he wouldn't have made the mistakes he did with some of the beetles."
The old Master, as I think you must have found out by this time,—you, Beloved, I mean, who read every word,—has a reasonably good opinion, as perhaps he has a right to have, of his own intelligence and acquirements. The Scarabee's exultation and glow as he spoke of the errors of the great entomologist which he himself could have corrected, had the effect on the old Master which a lusty crow has upon the feathered champion of the neighboring barnyard. He too knew something about insects. Had he not discovered a new tabanus? Had he not made preparations of the very coleoptera the Scarabee studied so exclusively,—preparations which the illustrious Swammerdam would not have been ashamed of, and dissected a melolontha as exquisitely as Strauss Durckheim himself ever did it? So the Master, recalling these studies of his and certain difficult and disputed points at which he had labored in one of his entomological paroxysms, put a question which there can be little doubt was intended to puzzle the Scarabee, and perhaps,—for the best of us is human (I am beginning to love the old Master, but he has his little weaknesses, thank Heaven, like the rest of us),—I say perhaps, was meant to show that some folks knew as much about some things as some other folks.
The old Master, as I think you must have figured out by now—you, Beloved, I mean, who read every word—has a pretty good opinion, as maybe he has a right to, of his own intelligence and knowledge. The Scarabee's excitement and pride when he talked about the mistakes of the great entomologist, which he could have corrected himself, influenced the old Master like a lively crow affects the feathered king of the nearby barnyard. He also knew something about insects. Hadn’t he discovered a new tabanus? Hadn’t he made preparations of the very coleoptera that the Scarabee studied so closely—preparations that the famous Swammerdam would not have been embarrassed by, and dissected a melolontha as skillfully as Strauss Durckheim ever did? So the Master, remembering these studies of his and certain tough and debated points he had worked on during one of his entomological rages, asked a question that was surely meant to stump the Scarabee, and perhaps—for the best of us are only human (I’m starting to like the old Master, but he has his little flaws, thank goodness, just like the rest of us)—I say perhaps, it was meant to show that some people know as much about certain things as others do.
The little dried-up specialist did not dilate into fighting dimensions as—perhaps, again—the Master may have thought he would. He looked a mild surprise, but remained as quiet as one of his own beetles when you touch him and he makes believe he is dead. The blank silence became oppressive. Was the Scarabee crushed, as so many of his namesakes are crushed, under the heel of this trampling omniscient?
The little dried-up specialist didn’t expand into a fighting form as, maybe, the Master thought he would. He looked mildly surprised but stayed as still as one of his own beetles when you touch it and it pretends to be dead. The heavy silence became suffocating. Was the Scarabee crushed, like so many of its namesakes, under the heel of this overpowering force?
At last the Scarabee creaked out very slowly, “Did I understand you to ask the following question, to wit?” and so forth; for I was quite out of my depth, and only know that he repeated the Master's somewhat complex inquiry, word for word.
At last, the Scarabee creaked out very slowly, “Did I understand you to ask the following question, to wit?” and so on; because I was totally confused, and all I knew was that he repeated the Master's somewhat complicated question, word for word.
—That was exactly my question,—said the Master,—and I hope it is not uncivil to ask one which seems to me to be a puzzler.
—That was exactly my question,—said the Master,—and I hope it's not rude to ask one that seems to be a tricky one.
Not uncivil in the least,—said the Scarabee, with something as much like a look of triumph as his dry face permitted,—not uncivil at all, but a rather extraordinary question to ask at this date of entomological history. I settled that question some years ago, by a series of dissections, six-and-thirty in number, reported in an essay I can show you and would give you a copy of, but that I am a little restricted in my revenue, and our Society has to be economical, so I have but this one. You see, sir,—and he went on with elytra and antennae and tarsi and metatarsi and tracheae and stomata and wing-muscles and leg-muscles and ganglions,—all plain enough, I do not doubt, to those accustomed to handling dor-bugs and squash-bugs and such undesirable objects of affection to all but naturalists.
"Not rude at all," said the Scarabee, with a look of triumph that his dry face allowed, "but quite an unusual question to ask at this point in entomological history. I resolved that question years ago, after conducting thirty-six dissections, which I detailed in an essay I can show you. I'd give you a copy, but I'm a bit tight on funds, and our Society has to be mindful of expenses, so I only have this one. You see, sir,"—and he continued with elytra, antennae, tarsi, metatarsi, tracheae, stomata, wing muscles, leg muscles, and ganglia—"all straightforward enough, I’m sure, for those used to dealing with dor-bugs and squash-bugs and other such unappealing creatures, except to naturalists."
He paused when he got through, not for an answer, for there evidently was none, but to see how the Master would take it. The Scarabee had had it all his own way.
He paused when he got through, not for an answer, since there clearly wasn’t one, but to see how the Master would react. The Scarabee had gotten everything his own way.
The Master was loyal to his own generous nature. He felt as a peaceful citizen might feel who had squared off at a stranger for some supposed wrong, and suddenly discovered that he was undertaking to chastise Mr. Dick Curtis, “the pet of the Fancy,” or Mr. Joshua Hudson; “the John Bull fighter.”
The Master was true to his own generous nature. He felt like a calm citizen who had confronted a stranger over some imagined grievance, only to realize that he was about to take on Mr. Dick Curtis, “the favorite of the Fancy,” or Mr. Joshua Hudson, “the John Bull fighter.”
He felt the absurdity of his discomfiture, for he turned to me good-naturedly, and said,
He felt how ridiculous his embarrassment was, so he turned to me with a smile and said,
“Poor Johnny Raw! What madness could impel So rum a flat to face so prime a swell?”
“Poor Johnny Raw! What madness could lead him to confront such a fantastic person?”
To tell the truth, I rather think the Master enjoyed his own defeat. The Scarabee had a right to his victory; a man does not give his life to the study of a single limited subject for nothing, and the moment we come across a first-class expert we begin to take a pride in his superiority. It cannot offend us, who have no right at all to be his match on his own ground. Besides, there is a very curious sense of satisfaction in getting a fair chance to sneer at ourselves and scoff at our own pretensions. The first person of our dual consciousness has been smirking and rubbing his hands and felicitating himself on his innumerable superiorities, until we have grown a little tired of him. Then, when the other fellow, the critic, the cynic, the Shimei, who has been quiet, letting self-love and self-glorification have their perfect work, opens fire upon the first half of our personality and overwhelms it with that wonderful vocabulary of abuse of which he is the unrivalled master, there is no denying that he enjoys it immensely; and as he is ourself for the moment, or at least the chief portion of ourself (the other half-self retiring into a dim corner of semiconsciousness and cowering under the storm of sneers and contumely,—you follow me perfectly, Beloved,—the way is as plain as the path of the babe to the maternal fount), as, I say, the abusive fellow is the chief part of us for the time, and he likes to exercise his slanderous vocabulary, we on the whole enjoy a brief season of self-depreciation and self-scolding very heartily.
To be honest, I actually think the Master enjoyed losing. The Scarabee earned his victory; someone doesn’t dedicate their life to studying a narrow topic for no reason, and the moment we encounter a top-notch expert, we start to take pride in his skill. It doesn’t offend us, since we have no right to compete with him in his area of knowledge. Plus, there’s something interesting about having the opportunity to laugh at ourselves and mock our own pretensions. The first half of our dual consciousness has been smirking and patting himself on the back, boasting about his many advantages, until we’ve grown a bit tired of him. Then, when the other side— the critic, the cynic, the Shimei—who has been quiet, allowing self-love and self-praise to run their course, starts attacking the first half of our personality with that incredible vocabulary of insults he masters like no one else, it’s undeniable that he enjoys it a lot; and since he is us for the moment, or at least the main part of us (with the other half shrinking away into the background and hiding from the storm of insults— you understand perfectly, Beloved— the path is as clear as a baby making its way to its mother), as I said, the insulting part of us is the dominant one for the time being, and we generally appreciate a short period of self-criticism and self-blame quite a lot.
It is quite certain that both of us, the Master and myself, conceived on the instant a respect for the Scarabee which we had not before felt. He had grappled with one difficulty at any rate and mastered it. He had settled one thing, at least, so it appeared, in such a way that it was not to be brought up again. And now he was determined, if it cost him the effort of all his remaining days, to close another discussion and put forever to rest the anxious doubts about the larva of meloe.
It’s clear that both the Master and I instantly developed a respect for the Scarabee that we hadn't felt before. He had tackled one challenge and handled it successfully. He had resolved one issue, at least, in a way that it wouldn’t be questioned again. And now he was committed, no matter how much effort it took for the rest of his life, to ending another debate and putting to rest the lingering worries about the larva of meloe.
—Your thirty-six dissections must have cost you a deal of time and labor,—the Master said.
—Your thirty-six dissections must have taken you a lot of time and effort,—the Master said.
—What have I to do with time, but to fill it up with labor?—answered the Scarabee.—It is my meat and drink to work over my beetles. My holidays are when I get a rare specimen. My rest is to watch the habits of insects, those that I do not pretend to study. Here is my muscarium, my home for house-flies; very interesting creatures; here they breed and buzz and feed and enjoy themselves, and die in a good old age of a few months. My favorite insect lives in this other case; she is at home, but in her private-chamber; you shall see her.
—What do I have to do with time, other than to fill it with work?—the Scarabee replied.—Working with my beetles is what sustains me. My holidays are when I find a rare specimen. My relaxation comes from observing the behavior of insects, ones I don't claim to study. Here is my muscarium, my space for house-flies; they are fascinating creatures; they breed, buzz, feed, enjoy life, and die at a ripe old age of just a few months. My favorite insect is in this other case; she's at home, but in her private chamber; you’ll see her.
He tapped on the glass lightly, and a large, gray, hairy spider came forth from the hollow of a funnel-like web.
He lightly tapped on the glass, and a large, gray, hairy spider crawled out from the hollow of a funnel-shaped web.
—And this is all the friend you have to love? said the Master, with a tenderness in his voice which made the question very significant.
—Is this really the only friend you have to love? said the Master, with a tenderness in his voice that made the question very meaningful.
—Nothing else loves me better than she does, that I know of,—he answered.
—Nothing else loves me better than she does, that I know of,—he answered.
—To think of it! Not even a dog to lick his hand, or a cat to purr and rub her fur against him! Oh, these boarding-houses, these boarding-houses! What forlorn people one sees stranded on their desolate shores! Decayed gentlewomen with the poor wrecks of what once made their households beautiful, disposed around them in narrow chambers as they best may be, coming down day after day, poor souls! to sit at the board with strangers; their hearts full of sad memories which have no language but a sigh, no record but the lines of sorrow on their features; orphans, creatures with growing tendrils and nothing to cling to; lonely rich men, casting about them what to do with the wealth they never knew how to enjoy, when they shall no longer worry over keeping and increasing it; young men and young women, left to their instincts, unguarded, unwatched, save by malicious eyes, which are sure to be found and to find occupation in these miscellaneous collections of human beings; and now and then a shred of humanity like this little adust specialist, with just the resources needed to keep the “radical moisture” from entirely exhaling from his attenuated organism, and busying himself over a point of science, or compiling a hymn-book, or editing a grammar or a dictionary;—such are the tenants of boarding-houses whom we cannot think of without feeling how sad it is when the wind is not tempered to the shorn lamb; when the solitary, whose hearts are shrivelling, are not set in families!
—Can you believe it? Not even a dog to lick his hand, or a cat to purr and rub against him! Oh, these boarding houses, these boarding houses! What lonely people you see stranded on their desolate shores! Decayed ladies with the remnants of what once made their homes beautiful, arranged around them in cramped rooms as best as they can, coming down day after day, poor souls! to sit at the table with strangers; their hearts full of sad memories that have no words but a sigh, no record but the lines of sorrow on their faces; orphans, beings with growing needs and nothing to hold onto; lonely wealthy men, wondering what to do with the money they never learned to enjoy, when they no longer worry about keeping and increasing it; young men and women, left to their instincts, unguarded, unwatched, except by malicious eyes, which are always present and ready to find something to do in these random gatherings of people; and now and then a sliver of humanity like this little tired specialist, with just enough resources to keep the “radical moisture” from completely evaporating from his frail body, busying himself with a scientific issue, or compiling a hymn book, or editing a grammar or a dictionary;—these are the tenants of boarding houses whom we can't think of without feeling how sad it is when the wind isn't softened for the vulnerable; when the lonely, whose hearts are withering, are not surrounded by families!
The Master was greatly interested in the Scarabee's Muscarium.
The Master was very interested in the Scarabee's Muscarium.
—I don't remember,—he said,—that I have heard of such a thing as that before. Mighty curious creatures, these same house-flies! Talk about miracles! Was there ever anything more miraculous, so far as our common observation goes, than the coming and the going of these creatures? Why didn't Job ask where the flies come from and where they go to? I did not say that you and I don't know, but how many people do know anything about it? Where are the cradles of the young flies? Where are the cemeteries of the dead ones, or do they die at all except when we kill them? You think all the flies of the year are dead and gone, and there comes a warm day and all at once there is a general resurrection of 'em; they had been taking a nap, that is all.
"I don't remember," he said, "ever hearing about something like that before. House-flies are really interesting creatures! Talk about miracles! Is there anything more amazing, based on what we generally observe, than how these creatures appear and disappear? Why didn’t Job ask where the flies come from and where they go? I’m not saying you and I don’t know, but how many people actually understand it? Where do the young flies come from? Where do the dead ones go, or do they only die when we swat them? You might think all the flies of the year are gone, but then a warm day comes and suddenly there’s a whole bunch of them again; they were just taking a nap, that’s all."
—I suppose you do not trust your spider in the Muscarium?—said I, addressing the Scarabee.
—I guess you don’t trust your spider in the Muscarium?—I said, talking to the Scarabee.
—Not exactly,—he answered,—she is a terrible creature. She loves me, I think, but she is a killer and a cannibal among other insects. I wanted to pair her with a male spider, but it wouldn't do.
—Not exactly,—he answered,—she's a terrible creature. She loves me, I think, but she's a killer and a cannibal among other insects. I wanted to pair her with a male spider, but it didn't work out.
-Wouldn't do?—said I,—why not? Don't spiders have their mates as well as other folks?
"Wouldn't do?" I said. "Why not? Don’t spiders have their partners just like everyone else?"
-Oh yes, sometimes; but the females are apt to be particular, and if they don't like the mate you offer them they fall upon him and kill him and eat him up. You see they are a great deal bigger and stronger than the males, and they are always hungry and not always particularly anxious to have one of the other sex bothering round.
-Oh yes, sometimes; but the females can be picky, and if they don't like the mate you introduce to them, they attack him, kill him, and eat him. You see, they are much bigger and stronger than the males, and they are always hungry and not necessarily eager to have a male hanging around.
—Woman's rights!—said I,—there you have it! Why don't those talking ladies take a spider as their emblem? Let them form arachnoid associations, spinsters and spiders would be a good motto.
—Women's rights!—I said,—there you go! Why don't those chatty women choose a spider as their symbol? Let them create arachnoid clubs; "spinsters and spiders" would be a great motto.
—The Master smiled. I think it was an eleemosynary smile, for my pleasantry seems to me a particularly basso rilievo, as I look upon it in cold blood. But conversation at the best is only a thin sprinkling of occasional felicities set in platitudes and commonplaces. I never heard people talk like the characters in the “School for Scandal,”—I should very much like to.—I say the Master smiled. But the Scarabee did not relax a muscle of his countenance.
—The Master smiled. I think it was a generous smile because my joke feels pretty flat when I think about it calmly. But conversation is usually just a light sprinkling of nice moments mixed in with clichés and common phrases. I've never heard people talk like the characters in the “School for Scandal,”—I would really love to. I say the Master smiled. But the Scarabee didn’t change a single muscle in his face.
—There are persons whom the very mildest of faecetiae sets off into such convulsions of laughter, that one is afraid lest they should injure themselves. Even when a jest misses fire completely, so that it is no jest at all, but only a jocular intention, they laugh just as heartily. Leave out the point of your story, get the word wrong on the duplicity of which the pun that was to excite hilarity depended, and they still honor your abortive attempt with the most lusty and vociferous merriment.
—There are people for whom even the simplest jokes trigger such fits of laughter that you worry they might hurt themselves. Even when a joke completely flops, so it's not a joke at all, just a playful idea, they laugh just as hard. If you miss the point of your story or mess up the words that the pun needed to be funny, they still celebrate your failed attempt with loud and hearty laughter.
There is a very opposite class of persons whom anything in the nature of a joke perplexes, troubles, and even sometimes irritates, seeming to make them think they are trifled with, if not insulted. If you are fortunate enough to set the whole table laughing, one of this class of persons will look inquiringly round, as if something had happened, and, seeing everybody apparently amused but himself, feel as if he was being laughed at, or at any rate as if something had been said which he was not to hear. Often, however, it does not go so far as this, and there is nothing more than mere insensibility to the cause of other people's laughter, a sort of joke-blindness, comparable to the well-known color-blindness with which many persons are afflicted as a congenital incapacity.
There’s a completely different group of people who find anything resembling a joke confusing, upsetting, and sometimes even annoying, as it makes them feel like they are being made a fool of, if not disrespected. If you’re lucky enough to get everyone at the table laughing, someone from this group will look around, puzzled as if something strange is going on, and noticing that everyone else is having a good time except for them, they’ll feel like they’re the target of the laughter, or at least that something was said that they weren’t meant to hear. However, often it doesn’t go that far, and it’s just a lack of understanding of what’s causing the laughter of others, a sort of joke-blindness, similar to the well-known color-blindness that some people experience as a natural condition.
I have never seen the Scarabee smile. I have seen him take off his goggles,—he breakfasts in these occasionally,—I suppose when he has been tiring his poor old eyes out over night gazing through his microscope,—I have seen him take his goggles off, I say, and stare about him, when the rest of us were laughing at something which amused us, but his features betrayed nothing more than a certain bewilderment, as if we had been foreigners talking in an unknown tongue. I do not think it was a mere fancy of mine that he bears a kind of resemblance to the tribe of insects he gives his life to studying. His shiny black coat; his rounded back, convex with years of stooping over his minute work; his angular movements, made natural to him by his habitual style of manipulation; the aridity of his organism, with which his voice is in perfect keeping;—all these marks of his special sedentary occupation are so nearly what might be expected, and indeed so much, in accordance with the more general fact that a man's aspect is subdued to the look of what he works in, that I do not feel disposed to accuse myself of exaggeration in my account of the Scarabee's appearance. But I think he has learned something else of his coleopterous friends. The beetles never smile. Their physiognomy is not adapted to the display of the emotions; the lateral movement of their jaws being effective for alimentary purposes, but very limited in its gamut of expression. It is with these unemotional beings that the Scarabee passes his life. He has but one object, and that is perfectly serious, to his mind, in fact, of absorbing interest and importance. In one aspect of the matter he is quite right, for if the Creator has taken the trouble to make one of His creatures in just such a way and not otherwise, from the beginning of its existence on our planet in ages of unknown remoteness to the present time, the man who first explains His idea to us is charged with a revelation. It is by no means impossible that there may be angels in the celestial hierarchy to whom it would be new and interesting. I have often thought that spirits of a higher order than man might be willing to learn something from a human mind like that of Newton, and I see no reason why an angelic being might not be glad to hear a lecture from Mr. Huxley, or Mr. Tyndall, or one of our friends at Cambridge.
I have never seen the Scarabee smile. I’ve seen him take off his goggles—he sometimes has breakfast in them, I assume after spending long nights peering through his microscope. I’ve watched him remove his goggles and look around while the rest of us were laughing at something that amused us, but his face showed nothing except a kind of confusion, as if we were foreigners speaking an unfamiliar language. I don’t think it’s just my imagination that he resembles the insects he dedicates his life to studying. His shiny black coat, his rounded back that’s curved from years of hunching over his tiny work, his awkward movements that have become second nature from his way of handling things, and the dryness of his demeanor, which matches his voice perfectly—all of these traits typical of his sedentary job are so close to what you’d expect, and indeed so much in line with the general fact that a person’s appearance often resembles what they work with, that I feel justified in how I describe the Scarabee’s look. But I think he’s picked up something else from his beetle friends. Beetles never smile. Their faces aren’t designed to show emotions; the side movement of their jaws is great for eating, but very limited in expression. It’s with these emotionless creatures that the Scarabee spends his life. He has one main goal, which he takes very seriously—it's genuinely of immense interest and importance to him. In some ways, he’s completely right, since if the Creator went through the effort to make one of His creatures exactly as it is, from the moment it first existed on our planet, the person who truly understands His idea is bringing us a revelation. It's not unlikely that some angels in the heavenly order would find this new and intriguing. I have often thought that spirits of a higher nature than humans might be eager to learn something from a mind like Newton’s, and I see no reason why an angelic being wouldn’t look forward to hearing a lecture from Mr. Huxley, Mr. Tyndall, or one of our peers at Cambridge.
I have been sinuous as the Links of Forth seen from Stirling Castle, or as that other river which threads the Berkshire valley and runs, a perennial stream, through my memory,—from which I please myself with thinking that I have learned to wind without fretting against the shore, or forgetting cohere I am flowing,—sinuous, I say, but not jerky,—no, not jerky nor hard to follow for a reader of the right sort, in the prime of life and full possession of his or her faculties.
I have been as winding as the Forth River seen from Stirling Castle, or like that other river that flows through the Berkshire valley and runs, constantly, through my memory—making me think that I've learned to meander without getting caught on the banks or forgetting where I'm headed. Winding, I say, but not abrupt—no, not abrupt or hard to follow for a reader who is in their prime and fully in control of their abilities.
—All this last page or so, you readily understand, has been my private talk with you, the Reader. The cue of the conversation which I interrupted by this digression is to be found in the words “a good motto;” from which I begin my account of the visit again.
—All of this last page or so has been my personal conversation with you, the Reader. The topic I interrupted with this side note comes from the phrase “a good motto;” from which I will continue my account of the visit.
—Do you receive many visitors,—I mean vertebrates, not articulates? —said the Master.
—Do you get a lot of visitors,—I mean vertebrates, not invertebrates? —said the Master.
I thought this question might perhaps bring il disiato riso, the long-wished-for smile, but the Scarabee interpreted it in the simplest zoological sense, and neglected its hint of playfulness with the most absolute unconsciousness, apparently, of anything not entirely serious and literal.
I thought this question might bring the long-awaited smile, but the Scarabee interpreted it in the most straightforward zoological way, completely missing its playful hint, apparently unaware of anything that wasn't entirely serious and literal.
—You mean friends, I suppose,—he answered.—I have correspondents, but I have no friends except this spider. I live alone, except when I go to my subsection meetings; I get a box of insects now and then, and send a few beetles to coleopterists in other entomological districts; but science is exacting, and a man that wants to leave his record has not much time for friendship. There is no great chance either for making friends among naturalists. People that are at work on different things do not care a great deal for each other's specialties, and people that work on the same thing are always afraid lest one should get ahead of the other, or steal some of his ideas before he has made them public. There are none too many people you can trust in your laboratory. I thought I had a friend once, but he watched me at work and stole the discovery of a new species from me, and, what is more, had it named after himself. Since that time I have liked spiders better than men. They are hungry and savage, but at any rate they spin their own webs out of their own insides. I like very well to talk with gentlemen that play with my branch of entomology; I do not doubt it amused you, and if you want to see anything I can show you, I shall have no scruple in letting you see it. I have never had any complaint to make of amatoors.
—You mean acquaintances, I guess,—he replied.—I have correspondents, but I don’t have any friends except this spider. I live alone, except when I attend my subsection meetings; I get a box of insects now and then and send a few beetles to coleopterists in other entomological areas; but science demands a lot, and someone who wants to make a name for themselves doesn’t have much time for friendships. There’s not much opportunity to make friends among naturalists either. People working on different projects don’t care much about each other’s specialties, and those working on the same thing are always worried that one might get ahead of the other or steal ideas before they’re shared publicly. There aren’t too many people you can trust in your lab. I thought I had a friend once, but he watched me at work and stole my discovery of a new species and, even worse, had it named after himself. Since then, I’ve preferred spiders to people. They are hungry and fierce, but at least they spin their own webs from their own bodies. I enjoy chatting with people who are interested in my area of entomology; I’m sure it entertained you, and if you want to see anything, I’d be happy to show you. I’ve never had any complaints about amateurs.
—Upon my honor,—I would hold my right hand up and take my Bible-oath, if it was not busy with the pen at this moment,—I do not believe the Scarabee had the least idea in the world of the satire on the student of the Order of Things implied in his invitation to the “amatoor.” As for the Master, he stood fire perfectly, as he always does; but the idea that he, who had worked a considerable part of several seasons at examining and preparing insects, who believed himself to have given a new tabanus to the catalogue of native diptera, the idea that he was playing with science, and might be trusted anywhere as a harmless amateur, from whom no expert could possibly fear any anticipation of his unpublished discoveries, went beyond anything set down in that book of his which contained so much of the strainings of his wisdom.
—I swear—I'd raise my right hand and take my Bible oath if it weren't busy with the pen right now—I really don't think the Scarabee had any idea about the satire on the student of the Order of Things that his invitation to the "amatoor" suggested. As for the Master, he handled the pressure perfectly, as he always does; but the thought that he, who had spent a substantial part of several seasons studying and preparing insects, who believed he had added a new tabanus to the list of native diptera, the idea that he was just playing around with science and could be trusted as a harmless amateur, someone from whom no expert would have to worry about any hint of his unpublished discoveries, was beyond anything written in that book of his that contained so much of the weight of his wisdom.
The poor little Scarabee began fidgeting round about this time, and uttering some half-audible words, apologetical, partly, and involving an allusion to refreshments. As he spoke, he opened a small cupboard, and as he did so out bolted an uninvited tenant of the same, long in person, sable in hue, and swift of movement, on seeing which the Scarabee simply said, without emotion, blatta, but I, forgetting what was due to good manners, exclaimed cockroach!
The poor little Scarabee started fidgeting around this time, mumbling some barely audible apologies, partly about snacks. As he spoke, he opened a small cupboard, and out shot an unexpected visitor from inside, long, black, and quick. Upon seeing this, the Scarabee simply said, without any emotion, "blatta," but I, forgetting my manners, exclaimed, "cockroach!"
We could not make up our minds to tax the Scarabee's hospitality, already levied upon by the voracious articulate. So we both alleged a state of utter repletion, and did not solve the mystery of the contents of the cupboard,—not too luxurious, it may be conjectured, and yet kindly offered, so that we felt there was a moist filament of the social instinct running like a nerve through that exsiccated and almost anhydrous organism.
We couldn't bring ourselves to take advantage of the Scarabee's hospitality, which was already being drained by the insatiable guests. So we both claimed we were completely full and didn't figure out what was in the cupboard—probably not too fancy, but still offered with kindness, making us feel that there was a subtle thread of social instinct connecting us to that dry and nearly lifeless atmosphere.
We left him with professions of esteem and respect which were real. We had gone, not to scoff, but very probably to smile, and I will not say we did not. But the Master was more thoughtful than usual.
We left him with genuine expressions of admiration and respect. We had gone, not to mock, but likely to smile, and I won't say we didn’t. But the Master seemed more reflective than usual.
—If I had not solemnly dedicated myself to the study of the Order of Things,—he said,—I do verily believe I would give what remains to me of life to the investigation of some single point I could utterly eviscerate and leave finally settled for the instruction and, it may be, the admiration of all coming time. The keel ploughs ten thousand leagues of ocean and leaves no trace of its deep-graven furrows. The chisel scars only a few inches on the face of a rock, but the story it has traced is read by a hundred generations. The eagle leaves no track of his path, no memory of the place where he built his nest; but a patient mollusk has bored a little hole in a marble column of the temple of Serapis, and the monument of his labor outlasts the altar and the statue of the divinity.
—If I hadn't committed myself to studying the Order of Things,—he said,—I truly believe I would spend the rest of my life investigating some single topic that I could completely dissect and leave finally settled for the guidance and, perhaps, the admiration of future generations. The ship plows through ten thousand leagues of ocean and leaves no trace of its deep-set furrows. The chisel marks only a few inches on the surface of a rock, but the story it tells is read by a hundred generations. The eagle leaves no trace of its journey, no memory of where it built its nest; but a diligent mollusk has drilled a small hole in a marble column of the temple of Serapis, and the evidence of its labor outlasts both the altar and the statue of the god.
—Whew!—said I to myself,—that sounds a little like what we college boys used to call a “squirt.”—The Master guessed my thought and said, smiling,
—Whew!—I said to myself,—that sounds a bit like what we college guys used to call a “squirt.”—The Master sensed what I was thinking and said, smiling,
—That is from one of my old lectures. A man's tongue wags along quietly enough, but his pen begins prancing as soon as it touches paper. I know what you are thinking—you're thinking this is a squirt. That word has taken the nonsense out of a good many high-stepping fellows. But it did a good deal of harm too, and it was a vulgar lot that applied it oftenest.
—That is from one of my old lectures. A man's tongue might chat quietly enough, but his pen starts dancing as soon as it hits the paper. I know what you're thinking—you think this is just hot air. That term has taken the steam out of a lot of confident people. But it also caused a lot of damage too, and it was often used by a pretty rough crowd.
I am at last perfectly satisfied that our Landlady has no designs on the Capitalist, and as well convinced that any fancy of mine that he was like to make love to her was a mistake. The good woman is too much absorbed in her children, and more especially in “the Doctor,” as she delights to call her son, to be the prey of any foolish desire of changing her condition. She is doing very well as it is, and if the young man succeeds, as I have little question that he will, I think it probable enough that she will retire from her position as the head of a boarding-house. We have all liked the good woman who have lived with her,—I mean we three friends who have put ourselves on record. Her talk, I must confess, is a little diffuse and not always absolutely correct, according to the standard of the great Worcester; she is subject to lachrymose cataclysms and semiconvulsive upheavals when she reverts in memory to her past trials, and especially when she recalls the virtues of her deceased spouse, who was, I suspect, an adjunct such as one finds not rarely annexed to a capable matron in charge of an establishment like hers; that is to say, an easy-going, harmless, fetch-and-carry, carve-and-help, get-out-of-the-way kind of neuter, who comes up three times (as they say drowning people do) every day, namely, at breakfast, dinner, and tea, and disappears, submerged beneath the waves of life, during the intervals of these events.
I’m finally completely sure that our landlady isn’t trying to seduce the capitalist, and I’m also convinced that any thought I had that he might want to pursue her was just a mistake. The good woman is too focused on her children, especially on “the Doctor,” as she loves to call her son, to be overwhelmed by any silly desires to change her situation. She’s doing just fine as things are, and if the young man succeeds, which I have little doubt he will, it’s pretty likely she’ll step down from her role as the head of a boarding house. We’ve all liked the good woman who has hosted us—I’m referring to the three of us friends who are speaking up. I must admit her conversation is a little long-winded and not always entirely accurate by the standards of the great Worcester; she tends to have emotional breakdowns and mini-upheavals when she reminisces about her past struggles, especially when she reflects on the qualities of her late husband, who I suspect was the kind of partner often found alongside a capable woman running an establishment like hers; that is, an easy-going, harmless type who fetches and carries, carves and serves, and just gets out of the way, showing up three times a day (as people say drowning individuals do) for breakfast, dinner, and tea, and then disappears, submerged under the waves of everyday life, in between those times.
It is a source of genuine delight to me, who am of a kindly nature enough, according to my own reckoning, to watch the good woman, and see what looks of pride and affection she bestows upon her Benjamin, and how, in spite of herself, the maternal feeling betrays its influence in her dispensations of those delicacies which are the exceptional element in our entertainments. I will not say that Benjamin's mess, like his Scripture namesake's, is five times as large as that of any of the others, for this would imply either an economical distribution to the guests in general or heaping the poor young man's plate in a way that would spoil the appetite of an Esquimau, but you may be sure he fares well if anybody does; and I would have you understand that our Landlady knows what is what as well as who is who.
It genuinely makes me happy, as a kind-hearted person, to watch the kind woman and see the pride and affection she shows her Benjamin. You can tell, despite herself, that her maternal instincts shine through in the way she shares those special treats that are a key part of our gatherings. I won’t say that Benjamin's portion is five times bigger than anyone else's, since that would suggest either she’s stingy with everyone else or piling food on his plate in a way that would ruin the appetite of an Eskimo, but you can be sure he eats well if anyone does. And just so you know, our landlady is sharp and knows who deserves what.
I begin really to entertain very sanguine expectations of young Doctor Benjamin Franklin. He has lately been treating a patient of whose good-will may prove of great importance to him. The Capitalist hurt one of his fingers somehow or other, and requested our young doctor to take a look at it. The young doctor asked nothing better than to take charge of the case, which proved more serious than might have been at first expected, and kept him in attendance more than a week. There was one very odd thing about it. The Capitalist seemed to have an idea that he was like to be ruined in the matter of bandages,—small strips of worn linen which any old woman could have spared him from her rag-bag, but which, with that strange perversity which long habits of economy give to a good many elderly people, he seemed to think were as precious as if they had been turned into paper and stamped with promises to pay in thousands, from the national treasury. It was impossible to get this whim out of him, and the young doctor had tact enough to humor him in it. All this did not look very promising for the state of mind in which the patient was like to receive his bill for attendance when that should be presented. Doctor Benjamin was man enough, however, to come up to the mark, and sent him in such an account as it was becoming to send a man of ample means who had been diligently and skilfully cared for. He looked forward with some uncertainty as to how it would be received. Perhaps his patient would try to beat him down, and Doctor Benjamin made up his mind to have the whole or nothing. Perhaps he would pay the whole amount, but with a look, and possibly a word, that would make every dollar of it burn like a blister.
I’m starting to feel really optimistic about young Doctor Benjamin Franklin. He’s recently been treating a patient whose goodwill could be really important to him. A wealthy person somehow hurt one of his fingers and asked our young doctor to take a look at it. The young doctor was eager to handle the case, which turned out to be more serious than expected, keeping him busy for over a week. There was one strange thing about it. The wealthy person seemed to think he would be financially ruined by the cost of bandages—just small strips of worn linen that any old woman could have given him from her rag bag—yet, due to the odd frugality that some older people develop over time, he acted as if they were as valuable as if they’d been turned into money backed by the national treasury. It was impossible to shake this notion, and the young doctor wisely went along with it. This didn’t bode well for how the patient would handle his bill when it came due. However, Doctor Benjamin was mature enough to rise to the occasion and sent him a bill that was appropriate for a man of means who had been attentively and skillfully treated. He felt uncertain about how it would be received. Maybe the patient would try to haggle, and Doctor Benjamin decided he wanted the full amount or nothing at all. Perhaps he would pay the whole bill, but with a look, and maybe even a comment, that would make every dollar feel like a burn.
Doctor Benjamin's conjectures were not unnatural, but quite remote from the actual fact. As soon as his patient had got entirely well, the young physician sent in his bill. The Capitalist requested him to step into his room with him, and paid the full charge in the handsomest and most gratifying way, thanking him for his skill and attention, and assuring him that he had had great satisfaction in submitting himself to such competent hands, and should certainly apply to him again in case he should have any occasion for a medical adviser. We must not be too sagacious in judging people by the little excrescences of their character. Ex pede Herculem may often prove safe enough, but ex verruca Tullium is liable to mislead a hasty judge of his fellow-men.
Doctor Benjamin's guesses weren’t totally off, but they were pretty far from the truth. Once his patient was completely recovered, the young doctor sent him the bill. The Capitalist asked him to come into his office and paid the full amount in the most generous and satisfying way. He thanked him for his skill and attention, saying he was very happy to have been treated by someone so capable, and he would definitely reach out to him again if he ever needed a doctor. We shouldn’t be too quick to judge people based on the small quirks of their character. While "from a foot, you can gauge Hercules" might often be a safe bet, "from a wart, you might judge Tully" could lead a hasty observer astray.
I have studied the people called misers and thought a good deal about them. In former years I used to keep a little gold by me in order to ascertain for myself exactly the amount of pleasure to be got out of handling it; this being the traditional delight of the old-fashioned miser. It is by no means to be despised. Three or four hundred dollars in double-eagles will do very well to experiment on. There is something very agreeable in the yellow gleam, very musical in the metallic clink, very satisfying in the singular weight, and very stimulating in the feeling that all the world over these same yellow disks are the master-keys that let one in wherever he wants to go, the servants that bring him pretty nearly everything he wants, except virtue,—and a good deal of what passes for that. I confess, then, to an honest liking for the splendors and the specific gravity and the manifold potentiality of the royal metal, and I understand, after a certain imperfect fashion, the delight that an old ragged wretch, starving himself in a crazy hovel, takes in stuffing guineas into old stockings and filling earthen pots with sovereigns, and every now and then visiting his hoards and fingering the fat pieces, and thinking ever all that they represent of earthly and angelic and diabolic energy. A miser pouring out his guineas into his palm and bathing his shrivelled and trembling hands in the yellow heaps before him, is not the prosaic being we are in the habit of thinking him. He is a dreamer, almost a poet. You and I read a novel or a poem to help our imaginations to build up palaces, and transport us into the emotional states and the felicitous conditions of the ideal characters pictured in the book we are reading. But think of him and the significance of the symbols he is handling as compared with the empty syllables and words we are using to build our aerial edifices with! In this hand he holds the smile of beauty and in that the dagger of revenge. The contents of that old glove will buy him the willing service of many an adroit sinner, and with what that coarse sack contains he can purchase the prayers of holy men for all succeeding time. In this chest is a castle in Spain, a real one, and not only in Spain, but anywhere he will choose to have it. If he would know what is the liberality of judgment of any of the straiter sects, he has only to hand over that box of rouleaux to the trustees of one of its educational institutions for the endowment of two or three professorships. If he would dream of being remembered by coming generations, what monument so enduring as a college building that shall bear his name, and even when its solid masonry shall crumble give place to another still charged with the same sacred duty of perpetuating his remembrance. Who was Sir Matthew Holworthy, that his name is a household word on the lips of thousands of scholars, and will be centuries hence, as that of Walter de Merton, dead six hundred years ago, is to-day at Oxford? Who was Mistress Holden, that she should be blessed among women by having her name spoken gratefully and the little edifice she caused to be erected preserved as her monument from generation to generation? All these possibilities, the lust of the eye, the lust of the flesh, the pride of life; the tears of grateful orphans by the gallon; the prayers of Westminster Assembly's Catechism divines by the thousand; the masses of priests by the century;—all these things, and more if more there be that the imagination of a lover of gold is likely to range over, the miser hears and sees and feels and hugs and enjoys as he paddles with his lean hands among the sliding, shining, ringing, innocent-looking bits of yellow metal, toying with them as the lion-tamer handles the great carnivorous monster, whose might and whose terrors are child's play to the latent forces and power of harm-doing of the glittering counters played with in the great game between angels and devils.
I have looked into people known as misers and thought a lot about them. In the past, I used to keep a little gold on hand to find out for myself just how much pleasure can come from handling it; this is the classic joy of the traditional miser. It certainly has its merits. Having three or four hundred dollars in double-eagles is a great way to experiment. There’s something really nice about the yellow shine, very musical in the clinking sound, very satisfying in its unique weight, and very exciting in the knowledge that these same golden coins can unlock doors everywhere, serving as tools that almost get you everything you want—except for virtue, and a lot of what passes for it. So, I admit to a genuine fondness for the opulence, weight, and limitless possibilities of the noble metal, and I understand, in a somewhat imperfect way, the joy that a ragged old miser, starving himself in a shabby hut, finds in stuffing guineas into old stockings and filling clay pots with sovereigns. Now and then he visits his stashes, touching the hefty coins and contemplating all that they symbolize in terms of worldly, celestial, and even sinister powers. A miser pouring guineas into his palm and bathing his shriveled, trembling hands in the yellow piles before him is not the dull person we usually think he is. He is a dreamer, almost a poet. You and I read a novel or a poem to spark our imaginations and transport ourselves into the emotional states and happy circumstances of the ideal characters in the books we’re reading. But consider him and the meaning of the symbols he’s handling compared to the empty words we use to build our imaginary castles! In one hand, he holds the smile of beauty, and in the other, the dagger of revenge. The contents of that old glove can buy him the willing service of many clever wrongdoers, and with what that coarse sack holds, he can purchase the prayers of holy men for all time. In this chest is a real castle in Spain, and not just in Spain but anywhere he chooses to have it. If he wants to understand the generosity of judgment from any of the stricter groups, he only needs to give that box of rouleaux to the trustees of one of their educational institutions for funding two or three professorships. If he dreams of being remembered by future generations, what monument lasts longer than a college building that will bear his name, and even when its solid stones crumble, will give way to another still dedicated to keeping his memory alive? Who was Sir Matthew Holworthy, that his name is so well-known among thousands of scholars and will be for centuries to come, just like Walter de Merton, who died six hundred years ago, is today at Oxford? Who was Mistress Holden, that she should be so revered among women, having her name spoken with gratitude, and the little building she had constructed preserved as her lasting tribute from generation to generation? All these possibilities—the lust of the eye, the lust of the flesh, the pride of life; the tears of grateful orphans by the gallon; the prayers of the Westminster Assembly's Catechism divines by the thousands; the masses of priests by the century—these things and more, if there’s more that a gold lover's imagination might span, the miser hears, sees, feels, cherishes, and enjoys as he plays with his lean hands among the sliding, shining, ringing, innocent-looking pieces of yellow metal, toying with them like a lion-tamer handles a great carnivorous beast, whose strength and threats are mere child’s play compared to the hidden potential for harm of the glittering coins played with in the grand game between angels and devils.
I have seen a good deal of misers, and I think I understand them as well as most persons do. But the Capitalist's economy in rags and his liberality to the young doctor are very oddly contrasted with each other. I should not be surprised at any time to hear that he had endowed a scholarship or professorship or built a college dormitory, in spite of his curious parsimony in old linen.
I’ve encountered quite a few cheapskates, and I believe I understand them just as well as most people do. But the way the Capitalist hoards his rags while generously supporting the young doctor is really strikingly different. I wouldn’t be shocked at all to hear that he had funded a scholarship or a professorship or even built a college dorm, despite his strange stinginess with old clothes.
I do not know where our Young Astronomer got the notions that he expresses so freely in the lines that follow. I think the statement is true, however, which I see in one of the most popular Cyclopaedias, that “the non-clerical mind in all ages is disposed to look favorably upon the doctrine of the universal restoration to holiness and happiness of all fallen intelligences, whether human or angelic.” Certainly, most of the poets who have reached the heart of men, since Burns dropped the tear for poor “auld Nickie-ben” that softened the stony-hearted theology of Scotland, have had “non-clerical” minds, and I suppose our young friend is in his humble way an optimist like them. What he says in verse is very much the same thing as what is said in prose in all companies, and thought by a great many who are thankful to anybody that will say it for them,—not a few clerical as wall as “non-clerical” persons among them.
I don’t know where our Young Astronomer got the ideas he shares so openly in the lines that follow. However, I believe the statement from one of the most popular encyclopedias is true: “the non-clerical mind in all ages tends to view the idea of universal restoration to holiness and happiness for all fallen beings, whether human or angelic, positively.” Certainly, most poets who have deeply resonated with people since Burns shed a tear for poor “auld Nickie-ben,” which softened the hard theology of Scotland, have had “non-clerical” minds. I suppose our young friend is, in his own way, an optimist like them. What he expresses in verse is very much akin to what is discussed in prose in various circles and thought by many who appreciate anyone willing to voice it for them—this includes not a few clerical as well as “non-clerical” individuals among them.
WIND-CLOUDS AND STAR-DRIFTS. V What am I but the creature Thou hast made? What have I save the blessings Thou hast lent? What hope I but Thy mercy and Thy love? Who but myself shall cloud my soul with fear? Whose hand protect me from myself but Thine? I claim the rights of weakness, I, the babe, Call on my sire to shield me from the ills That still beset my path, not trying me With snares beyond my wisdom or my strength, He knowing I shall use them to my harm, And find a tenfold misery in the sense That in my childlike folly I have sprung The trap upon myself as vermin use Drawn by the cunning bait to certain doom. Who wrought the wondrous charm that leads us on To sweet perdition, but the self-same power That set the fearful engine to destroy His wretched offspring (as the Rabbis tell), And hid its yawning jaws and treacherous springs In such a show of innocent sweet flowers It lured the sinless angels and they fell? Ah! He who prayed the prayer of all mankind Summed in those few brief words the mightiest plea For erring souls before the courts of heaven, Save us from being tempted,—lest we fall! If we are only as the potter's clay Made to be fashioned as the artist wills, And broken into shards if we offend The eye of Him who made us, it is well; Such love as the insensate lump of clay That spins upon the swift-revolving wheel Bears to the hand that shapes its growing form, —Such love, no more, will be our hearts' return To the great Master-workman for his care, Or would be, save that this, our breathing clay, Is intertwined with fine innumerous threads That make it conscious in its framer's hand; And this He must remember who has filled These vessels with the deadly draught of life, Life, that means death to all it claims. Our love Must kindle in the ray that streams from heaven, A faint reflection of the light divine; The sun must warm the earth before the rose Can show her inmost heart-leaves to the sun. He yields some fraction of the Maker's right Who gives the quivering nerve its sense of pain; Is there not something in the pleading eye Of the poor brute that suffers, which arraigns The law that bids it suffer? Has it not A claim for some remembrance in the book That fills its pages with the idle words Spoken of men? Or is it only clay, Bleeding and aching in the potter's hand, Yet all his own to treat it as he will And when he will to cast it at his feet, Shattered, dishonored, lost forevermore? My dog loves me, but could he look beyond His earthly master, would his love extend To Him who—Hush! I will not doubt that He Is better than our fears, and will not wrong The least, the meanest of created things! He would not trust me with the smallest orb That circles through the sky; he would not give A meteor to my guidance; would not leave The coloring of a cloudlet to my hand; He locks my beating heart beneath its bars And keeps the key himself; he measures out The draughts of vital breath that warm my blood, Winds up the springs of instinct which uncoil, Each in its season; ties me to my home, My race, my time, my nation, and my creed So closely that if I but slip my wrist Out of the band that cuts it to the bone, Men say, “He hath a devil”; he has lent All that I hold in trust, as unto one By reason of his weakness and his years Not fit to hold the smallest shred in fee Of those most common things he calls his own And yet—my Rabbi tells me—he has left The care of that to which a million worlds. Filled with unconscious life were less than naught, Has left that mighty universe, the Soul, To the weak guidance of our baby hands, Turned us adrift with our immortal charge, Let the foul fiends have access at their will, Taking the shape of angels, to our hearts, Our hearts already poisoned through and through With the fierce virus of ancestral sin. If what my Rabbi tells me is the truth, Why did the choir of angels sing for joy? Heaven must be compassed in a narrow space, And offer more than room enough for all That pass its portals; but the underworld, The godless realm, the place where demons forge Their fiery darts and adamantine chains, Must swarm with ghosts that for a little while Had worn the garb of flesh, and being heirs Of all the dulness of their stolid sires, And all the erring instincts of their tribe, Nature's own teaching, rudiments of “sin,” Fell headlong in the snare that could not fail To trap the wretched creatures shaped of clay And cursed with sense enough to lose their souls! Brother, thy heart is troubled at my word; Sister, I see the cloud is on thy brow. He will not blame me, He who sends not peace, But sends a sword, and bids us strike amain At Error's gilded crest, where in the van Of earth's great army, mingling with the best And bravest of its leaders, shouting loud The battle-cries that yesterday have led The host of Truth to victory, but to-day Are watchwords of the laggard and the slave, He leads his dazzled cohorts. God has made This world a strife of atoms and of spheres; With every breath I sigh myself away And take my tribute from the wandering wind To fan the flame of life's consuming fire; So, while my thought has life, it needs must burn, And burning, set the stubble-fields ablaze, Where all the harvest long ago was reaped And safely garnered in the ancient barns, But still the gleaners, groping for their food, Go blindly feeling through the close-shorn straw, While the young reapers flash their glittering steel Where later suns have ripened nobler grain!
WIND-CLOUDS AND STAR-DRIFTS. V What am I but the being you've created? What do I have except for the blessings you've given? What can I hope for but your mercy and love? Who but myself can cloud my soul with fear? Whose hand will protect me from myself but yours? I claim the rights of vulnerability, I, the infant, Call on my father to shield me from the troubles That still surround my path, not testing me With traps beyond my wisdom or strength, He knowing I would use them to my detriment, And find a tenfold misery in realizing That in my childlike foolishness I’ve set The trap for myself, like vermin lured By cunning bait to certain doom. Who created the marvelous charm that leads us on To sweet ruin, but the same power That set the fearful device to destroy His wretched offspring (as the Rabbis say), And hid its gaping jaws and treacherous springs Behind a facade of innocent, sweet flowers That lured the sinless angels and they fell? Ah! He who prayed the prayer of all humanity Summed up that simple plea For wandering souls before the courts of heaven, Save us from being tempted—lest we fall! If we are only like the potter's clay Made to be shaped as the artist wishes, And shattered into pieces if we offend The eye of Him who made us, that's okay; Such love as the unfeeling lump of clay That spins on the swiftly-turning wheel Offers to the hand that shapes its growing form, —Such love, no more, will be our hearts' return To the great Master-worker for his care, Or would be, except that this, our living clay, Is interwoven with countless fine threads That make it aware in its creator's hands; And this He must remember who has filled These vessels with the harmful drink of life, A life that means death to all it takes. Our love Must ignite in the beam that shines from heaven, A faint reflection of the divine light; The sun must warm the earth before the rose Can reveal its innermost petals to the sun. He relinquishes some part of the Creator's right Who gives the quivering nerve its sense of pain; Is there not something in the pleading eye Of the poor creature that suffers, which questions The law that commands it to endure? Has it not A claim for some acknowledgment in the record That fills its pages with the idle talk Spoken of humans? Or is it merely clay, Bleeding and aching in the potter's hand, Yet fully his to treat as he pleases And when he chooses to cast it at his feet, Shattered, dishonored, lost forever? My dog loves me, but if he could see beyond His earthly master, would his love extend To Him who—Hush! I will not doubt that He Is better than our fears, and will not harm The least, the lowest of created beings! He would not trust me with the smallest orb That circles the sky; he would not give A meteor for me to direct; would not leave The coloring of a cloud to my hand; He locks my beating heart behind its bars And keeps the key for himself; he measures out The drafts of life that warm my blood, Winds up the instincts that unwind, Each in its season; ties me to my home, My people, my time, my nation, and my faith So closely that if I just slip my wrist Out of the band that cuts it to the bone, People say, “He has a devil”; he has given All that I possess in trust, as to one Because of his weakness and his years Not fit to hold even the smallest piece of those Most common things he calls his own And yet—my Rabbi tells me—he has left The care of that which a million worlds, Filled with unconscious life, are less than nothing, Has left that vast universe, the Soul, To the weak guidance of our baby hands, Set us adrift with our immortal charge, Let the foul demons have access at their will, Taking on the shape of angels, to our hearts, Our hearts already poisoned through and through With the fierce virus of ancestral sin. If what my Rabbi says is true, Why did the choir of angels sing for joy? Heaven must be confined in a small space, And offer more than enough room for all That pass its gates; but the underworld, The godless realm, the place where demons forge Their fiery arrows and unbreakable chains, Must swarm with spirits that for a brief time Had worn the garb of flesh, and being heirs Of all the dullness of their stolid ancestors, And all the erring instincts of their kind, Nature's own teaching, rudiments of “sin,” Fell headlong into the trap that could not fail To ensnare the wretched beings shaped of clay And cursed with enough awareness to lose their souls! Brother, your heart is troubled by my words; Sister, I see the cloud on your brow. He will not blame me, He who brings not peace, But sends a sword, and commands us to strike fiercely At Error's gilded crest, where in the front Of the earth's great army, mingling with the best And bravest of its leaders, shouting loud The battle-cries that yesterday led The host of Truth to victory, but today Are the slogans of the laggard and the slave, He leads his dazzled followers. God has made This world a conflict of atoms and spheres; With every breath I sigh myself away And take my share from the wandering wind To fan the flame of life's consuming fire; So, while my thoughts have life, they must burn, And burning, set the stubble fields ablaze, Where all the harvest long ago was reaped And safely stored in the ancient barns, But still the gleaners, groping for their food, Go blindly feeling through the closely-cropped straw, While the young reapers flash their glittering steel Where later suns have ripened better grain!
We listened to these lines in silence. They were evidently written honestly, and with feeling, and no doubt meant to be reverential. I thought, however, the Lady looked rather serious as he finished reading. The Young Girl's cheeks were flushed, but she was not in the mood for criticism.
We listened to these words in silence. They were clearly written sincerely and with emotion, and were definitely meant to express respect. However, I noticed that the Lady looked pretty serious when he finished reading. The Young Girl's cheeks were red, but she wasn't in the mood for criticism.
As we came away the Master said to me—The stubble-fields are mighty slow to take fire. These young fellows catch up with the world's ideas one after another,—they have been tamed a long while, but they find them running loose in their minds, and think they are ferae naturae. They remind me of young sportsmen who fire at the first feathers they see, and bring down a barnyard fowl. But the chicken may be worth bagging for all that, he said, good-humoredly.
As we walked away, the Master said to me, "The stubble fields take forever to catch fire. These young guys pick up on the world's ideas one by one—they've been tamed for a while, but they find these ideas roaming freely in their minds and think they're wild animals. They remind me of young hunters who shoot at the first feathers they see and end up bagging a barnyard chicken. But hey, that chicken might still be worth catching," he added with a grin.
X
Caveat Lector. Let the reader look out for himself. The old Master, whose words I have so frequently quoted and shall quote more of, is a dogmatist who lays down the law, ex cathedra, from the chair of his own personality. I do not deny that he has the ambition of knowing something about a greater number of subjects than any one man ought to meddle with, except in a very humble and modest way. And that is not his way. There was no doubt something of, humorous bravado in his saying that the actual “order of things” did not offer a field sufficiently ample for his intelligence. But if I found fault with him, which would be easy enough, I should say that he holds and expresses definite opinions about matters that he could afford to leave open questions, or ask the judgment of others about. But I do not want to find fault with him. If he does not settle all the points he speaks of so authoritatively, he sets me thinking about them, and I like a man as a companion who is not afraid of a half-truth. I know he says some things peremptorily that he may inwardly debate with himself. There are two ways of dealing with assertions of this kind. One may attack them on the false side and perhaps gain a conversational victory. But I like better to take them up on the true side and see how much can be made of that aspect of the dogmatic assertion. It is the only comfortable way of dealing with persons like the old Master.
Caveat Lector. Let the reader look out for themselves. The old Master, whose words I've quoted often and will quote more, is a dogmatist who lays down the law, ex cathedra, from the throne of his own personality. I don’t deny that he aspires to know more about a wider range of topics than any one person should, except in a very humble and modest way. And that's not his style. There’s definitely some humorous bravado in his claim that the actual "order of things" doesn’t provide a field vast enough for his intelligence. But if I were to critique him, which would be easy to do, I’d say that he holds and expresses firm opinions about issues he could leave open for discussion or seek others' judgment on. But I don’t want to criticize him. Even if he doesn’t resolve all the points he speaks about so authoritatively, he makes me think about them, and I appreciate having a companion who isn’t afraid of a half-truth. I know he makes some declarations confidently that he might actually wrestle with internally. There are two approaches to handling assertions like this. One could attack them on the false side and maybe win the conversation. But I prefer to engage with them on the truthful side and see how much can be made from that angle of the dogmatic statement. It’s the only comfortable way to interact with someone like the old Master.
There have been three famous talkers in Great Britain, either of whom would illustrate what I say about dogmatists well enough for my purpose. You cannot doubt to what three I refer: Samuel the First, Samuel the Second, and Thomas, last of the Dynasty. (I mean the living Thomas and not Thomas B.)
There have been three well-known speakers in Great Britain, any one of whom would demonstrate my point about dogmatists perfectly for my needs. You can't be in any doubt about which three I'm talking about: Samuel the First, Samuel the Second, and Thomas, the last of the Dynasty. (I mean the living Thomas, not Thomas B.)
I say the last of the Dynasty, for the conversational dogmatist on the imperial scale becomes every year more and more an impossibility. If he is in intelligent company he will be almost sure to find some one who knows more about some of the subjects he generalizes upon than any wholesale thinker who handles knowledge by the cargo is like to know. I find myself, at certain intervals, in the society of a number of experts in science, literature, and art, who cover a pretty wide range, taking them all together, of human knowledge. I have not the least doubt that if the great Dr. Samuel Johnson should come in and sit with this company at one of their Saturday dinners, he would be listened to, as he always was, with respect and attention. But there are subjects upon which the great talker could speak magisterially in his time and at his club, upon which so wise a man would express himself guardedly at the meeting where I have supposed him a guest. We have a scientific man or two among us, for instance, who would be entitled to smile at the good Doctor's estimate of their labors, as I give it here:
I refer to the last of the Dynasty, because the dogmatic conversationalist on a grand scale is becoming increasingly rare. In intelligent company, he's likely to encounter someone who knows more about the topics he generalizes than any broad thinker who approaches knowledge in bulk could ever know. I occasionally find myself among several experts in science, literature, and art, covering a substantial breadth of human knowledge when taken together. I have no doubt that if the esteemed Dr. Samuel Johnson were to come and join this group at one of their Saturday dinners, he would be listened to, as he always was, with respect and attention. However, there are topics on which the great orator could speak authoritatively in his time and at his club, but on which such a wise man would choose his words carefully at the gathering I've imagined him attending. For example, we have a few scientists among us who would be justified in smiling at the Doctor's view of their work, as I present it here:
“Of those that spin out life in trifles and die without a memorial, many flatter themselves with high opinion of their own importance and imagine that they are every day adding some improvement to human life.”—“Some turn the wheel of electricity, some suspend rings to a loadstone, and find that what they did yesterday they can do again to-day. Some register the changes of the wind, and die fully convinced that the wind is changeable.
“Many people go through life focusing on trivial things and pass away without leaving a mark, often thinking too highly of their own significance and believing they’re making a real difference in the world every day.” “Some generate electricity, some hang rings on a magnet, and discover they can repeat what they did yesterday today. Some track the changes in the wind and die fully convinced that the wind is unpredictable.”
“There are men yet more profound, who have heard that two colorless liquors may produce a color by union, and that two cold bodies will grow hot if they are mingled; they mingle them, and produce the effect expected, say it is strange, and mingle them again.”
“There are even deeper men who know that two clear liquids can create a color when mixed, and that two cold objects will become warm when combined; they mix them, achieve the expected result, express their surprise, and mix them again.”
I cannot transcribe this extract without an intense inward delight in its wit and a full recognition of its thorough half-truthfulness. Yet if while the great moralist is indulging in these vivacities, he can be imagined as receiving a message from Mr. Boswell or Mrs. Thrale flashed through the depths of the ocean, we can suppose he might be tempted to indulge in another oracular utterance, something like this:—-A wise man recognizes the convenience of a general statement, but he bows to the authority of a particular fact. He who would bound the possibilities of human knowledge by the limitations of present acquirements would take the dimensions of the infant in ordering the habiliments of the adult. It is the province of knowledge to speak and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen. Will the Professor have the kindness to inform me by what steps of gradual development the ring and the loadstone, which were but yesterday the toys of children and idlers, have become the means of approximating the intelligences of remote continents, and wafting emotions unchilled through the abysses of the no longer unfathomable deep?
I can't write this excerpt without feeling a deep inner joy at its cleverness and fully recognizing its mix of truth and half-truth. Yet if we imagine that while the great moralist is enjoying these lively thoughts, he receives a message from Mr. Boswell or Mrs. Thrale transmitted through the ocean's depths, we might picture him being tempted to share another wise statement, something like this:—A wise person understands the value of a general statement but respects the authority of specific facts. Anyone who tries to limit the possibilities of human knowledge to our current understanding would be like trying to fit an adult's clothes on a baby. It's the role of knowledge to express, and it's the privilege of wisdom to listen. Could the Professor kindly let me know how the ring and the loadstone, which were just yesterday playthings for children and idle folks, have evolved into tools that connect the minds of distant continents and carry emotions unchilled through the once unfathomable depths?
—This, you understand, Beloved, is only a conventional imitation of the Doctor's style of talking. He wrote in grand balanced phrases, but his conversation was good, lusty, off-hand familiar talk. He used very often to have it all his own way. If he came back to us we must remember that to treat him fairly we must suppose him on a level with the knowledge of our own time. But that knowledge is more specialized, a great deal, than knowledge was in his day. Men cannot talk about things they have seen from the outside with the same magisterial authority the talking dynasty pretended to. The sturdy old moralist felt grand enough, no doubt, when he said, “He that is growing great and happy by electrifying a bottle wonders how the world can be engaged by trifling prattle about war or peace.” Benjamin Franklin was one of these idlers who were electrifying bottles, but he also found time to engage in the trifling prattle about war and peace going on in those times. The talking Doctor hits him very hard in “Taxation no Tyranny”: “Those who wrote the Address (of the American Congress in 1775), though they have shown no great extent or profundity of mind, are yet probably wiser than to believe it: but they have been taught by some master of mischief how to put in motion the engine of political electricity; to attract by the sounds of Liberty and Property, to repel by those of Popery and Slavery; and to give the great stroke by the name of Boston.” The talking dynasty has always been hard upon us Americans. King Samuel II. says: “It is, I believe, a fact verified beyond doubt, that some years ago it was impossible to obtain a copy of the Newgate Calendar, as they had all been bought up by the Americans, whether to suppress the blazon of their forefathers or to assist in their genealogical researches I could never learn satisfactorily.” As for King Thomas, the last of the monological succession, he made such a piece of work with his prophecies and his sarcasms about our little trouble with some of the Southern States, that we came rather to pity him for his whims and crotchets than to get angry with him for calling us bores and other unamiable names.
—This, you understand, Beloved, is just a typical imitation of the Doctor's way of speaking. He wrote in grand, balanced phrases, but his conversations were lively, casual, and friendly. He often had things go his way. If he were to return to us, we must remember that to treat him fairly, we need to assume he has the same level of knowledge as our own time. But that knowledge is, in many ways, much more specialized than it was in his day. People can't talk about things they've only seen from the outside with the same authoritative tone the talking dynasty pretended to have. The strong old moralist felt quite grand, no doubt, when he said, “He that is growing great and happy by electrifying a bottle wonders how the world can be engaged by trifling prattle about war or peace.” Benjamin Franklin was one of those idlers who were electrifying bottles, but he also made time for the trivial chatter about war and peace that was happening back then. The talking Doctor criticizes him strongly in “Taxation no Tyranny”: “Those who wrote the Address (of the American Congress in 1775), although they haven't shown great depth or breadth of thought, are probably smart enough not to believe it: but they have been taught by some master of mischief how to set the engine of political electricity in motion; to attract with the sounds of Liberty and Property, to repel with those of Popery and Slavery; and to deal the big blow by mentioning Boston.” The talking dynasty has always been tough on us Americans. King Samuel II says: “It’s, I believe, a fact verified beyond doubt that a few years ago it was impossible to get a copy of the Newgate Calendar, as they had all been bought up by the Americans, whether to hide the exploits of their forefathers or to aid in their genealogical research, I could never determine satisfactorily.” As for King Thomas, the last of the monological succession, he made such a fuss with his prophecies and sarcasms about our minor issues with some of the Southern States, that we ended up feeling more pity for him and his quirks than anger at his calling us dull and other unkind names.
I do not think we believe things because considerable people say them, on personal authority, that is, as intelligent listeners very commonly did a century ago. The newspapers have lied that belief out of us. Any man who has a pretty gift of talk may hold his company a little while when there is nothing better stirring. Every now and then a man who may be dull enough prevailingly has a passion of talk come over him which makes him eloquent and silences the rest. I have a great respect for these divine paroxysms, these half-inspired moments of influx when they seize one whom we had not counted among the luminaries of the social sphere. But the man who can—give us a fresh experience on anything that interests us overrides everybody else. A great peril escaped makes a great story-teller of a common person enough. I remember when a certain vessel was wrecked long ago, that one of the survivors told the story as well as Defoe could have told it. Never a word from him before; never a word from him since. But when it comes to talking one's common thoughts,—those that come and go as the breath does; those that tread the mental areas and corridors with steady, even foot-fall, an interminable procession of every hue and garb,—there are few, indeed, that can dare to lift the curtain which hangs before the window in the breast and throw open the window, and let us look and listen. We are all loyal enough to our sovereign when he shows himself, but sovereigns are scarce. I never saw the absolute homage of listeners but once, that I remember, to a man's common talk, and that was to the conversation of an old man, illustrious by his lineage and the exalted honors he had won, whose experience had lessons for the wisest, and whose eloquence had made the boldest tremble.
I don’t think we believe things just because important people say them on their personal authority, like intelligent listeners often did a century ago. The newspapers have taken that belief away from us. Any guy who has a decent way with words can hold his audience for a little while when nothing better is going on. Every once in a while, a guy who might usually be pretty dull gets a burst of inspiration and becomes eloquent, silencing everyone else. I have a lot of respect for those divine moments, those half-inspired flashes that catch someone off guard who we didn’t expect to shine in social situations. But the person who can give us new insights on things that really interest us stands out above everyone else. Surviving a close call can turn an ordinary person into a great storyteller. I remember a long time ago, when a certain shipwreck occurred, one of the survivors recounted the story as well as Defoe could have. He never said a word before or since. But when it comes to discussing our everyday thoughts—those that come and go like our breath, those that carefully walk through our minds in a steady, unending parade of every shade and style—there are very few who dare to raise the curtain that covers the window to our hearts and throw it open so we can look and listen. We are all pretty loyal to our leader when he shows up, but leaders are few and far between. I only remember witnessing absolute respect from listeners toward a man's everyday conversation once, and that was directed at an old man—someone distinguished by his lineage and the high honors he had earned, whose experiences offered lessons for the wisest among us, and whose eloquence could make the boldest quiver.
All this because I told you to look out for yourselves and not take for absolute truth everything the old Master of our table, or anybody else at it sees fit to utter. At the same time I do not think that he, or any of us whose conversation I think worth reporting, says anything for the mere sake of saying it and without thinking that it holds some truth, even if it is not unqualifiedly true.
All this because I told you to take care of yourselves and not to believe everything the old Master at our table, or anyone else there, says without questioning it. At the same time, I don’t think that he, or any of us whose conversations I consider worth sharing, says anything just for the sake of saying it; we all believe there’s some truth in what we say, even if it’s not completely accurate.
I suppose a certain number of my readers wish very heartily that the Young Astronomer whose poetical speculations I am recording would stop trying by searching to find out the Almighty, and sign the thirty-nine articles, or the Westminster Confession of Faith, at any rate slip his neck into some collar or other, and pull quietly in the harness, whether it galled him or not. I say, rather, let him have his talk out; if nobody else asks the questions he asks, some will be glad to hear them, but if you, the reader, find the same questions in your own mind, you need not be afraid to see how they shape themselves in another's intelligence. Do you recognize the fact that we are living in a new time? Knowledge—it excites prejudices to call it science—is advancing as irresistibly, as majestically, as remorselessly as the ocean moves in upon the shore. The courtiers of King Canute (I am not afraid of the old comparison), represented by the adherents of the traditional beliefs of the period, move his chair back an inch at a time, but not until his feet are pretty damp, not to say wet. The rock on which he sat securely awhile ago is completely under water. And now people are walking up and down the beach and judging for themselves how far inland the chair of King Canute is like to be moved while they and their children are looking on, at the rate in which it is edging backward. And it is quite too late to go into hysterics about it.
I guess some of my readers really wish that the Young Astronomer, whose poetic ideas I'm sharing, would stop trying to discover the Almighty and just accept some established beliefs, like the thirty-nine articles or the Westminster Confession of Faith. They'd prefer if he just followed the rules, no matter how uncomfortable it made him. But I say, let him ask his questions; if no one else is raising them, some will appreciate hearing them. And if you're reading this and find those same questions in your own mind, don’t hesitate to see how they come together in someone else’s thoughts. Do you realize we’re living in a new era? Knowledge—what some might call science—is advancing as powerfully, majestically, and relentlessly as the ocean crashing onto the shore. The followers of King Canute (I'm not afraid of the cliché) represent the traditional beliefs of our time; they slowly move his chair back, inch by inch, but not until his feet are quite wet. The firm ground he once stood on is now completely submerged. And now people stroll along the beach, deciding for themselves how much farther King Canute's chair is likely to slide back while they and their children watch, considering how quickly it’s receding. And it’s far too late to panic about it.
The shore, solid, substantial, a great deal more than eighteen hundred years old, is natural humanity. The beach which the ocean of knowledge—you may call it science if you like—is flowing over, is theological humanity. Somewhere between the Sermon on the Mount and the teachings of Saint Augustine sin was made a transferable chattel. (I leave the interval wide for others to make narrow.)
The shore, solid and substantial, much older than eighteen hundred years, represents natural humanity. The beach that the ocean of knowledge—what you might call science—flows over, symbolizes theological humanity. Somewhere between the Sermon on the Mount and the teachings of Saint Augustine, sin became something that could be passed around like property. (I’m leaving the gap wide for others to narrow.)
The doctrine of heritable guilt, with its mechanical consequences, has done for our moral nature what the doctrine of demoniac possession has done in barbarous times and still does among barbarous tribes for disease. Out of that black cloud came the lightning which struck the compass of humanity. Conscience, which from the dawn of moral being had pointed to the poles of right and wrong only as the great current of will flowed through the soul, was demagnetized, paralyzed, and knew henceforth no fixed meridian, but stayed where the priest or the council placed it. There is nothing to be done but to polarize the needle over again. And for this purpose we must study the lines of direction of all the forces which traverse our human nature.
The idea of inherited guilt, with its automatic consequences, has done to our moral sense what the belief in demonic possession did in primitive times and still does among some tribal cultures for illness. From that dark cloud emerged the lightning that struck the compass of humanity. Conscience, which had pointed to the poles of right and wrong since the beginning of moral awareness, was demagnetized, paralyzed, and could no longer find a fixed direction, but stayed where the priest or council dictated. The only solution is to realign the needle again. To achieve this, we need to examine the factors that influence our human nature.
We must study man as we have studied stars and rocks. We need not go, we are told, to our sacred books for astronomy or geology or other scientific knowledge. Do not stop there! Pull Canute's chair back fifty rods at once, and do not wait until he is wet to the knees! Say now, bravely, as you will sooner or later have to say, that we need not go to any ancient records for our anthropology. Do we not all hold, at least, that the doctrine of man's being a blighted abortion, a miserable disappointment to his Creator, and hostile and hateful to him from his birth, may give way to the belief that he is the latest terrestrial manifestation of an ever upward-striving movement of divine power? If there lives a man who does not want to disbelieve the popular notions about the condition and destiny of the bulk of his race, I should like to have him look me in the face and tell me so.
We need to study people just like we study stars and rocks. We're told we don't have to turn to our sacred texts for astronomy, geology, or any other scientific knowledge. But don't stop there! Drag Canute's chair back fifty yards right away, and don't wait until he’s soaked to the knees! Say now, confidently, as you will eventually have to say, that we don’t need to rely on ancient records for our understanding of humans. Don’t we all agree, at least, that the idea of humans being a failed creation, a disappointment to their Creator, and inherently opposed to Him from birth, could be replaced by the belief that humans are the latest expression of an ever-ascending divine force? If there's anyone who genuinely doesn’t want to reject the common views about the state and future of most of humanity, I’d like to see him look me in the eye and say so.
I am not writing for the basement story or the nursery, and I do not pretend to be, but I say nothing in these pages which would not be said without fear of offence in any intelligent circle, such as clergymen of the higher castes are in the habit of frequenting. There are teachers in type for our grandmothers and our grandchildren who vaccinate the two childhoods with wholesome doctrine, transmitted harmlessly from one infant to another. But we three men at our table have taken the disease of thinking in the natural way. It is an epidemic in these times, and those who are afraid of it must shut themselves up close or they will catch it.
I’m not writing for the basement crowd or the nursery, and I don’t pretend to be. However, I won’t say anything in these pages that wouldn’t be said without fear of causing offense in any intelligent group, like the clergymen of higher ranks usually associated with. There are educators out there for our grandmothers and our grandchildren who spread good teachings safely from one kid to another. But the three of us at this table have caught the disease of thinking naturally. It’s going around these days, and those who are scared of it need to isolate themselves completely, or they’ll catch it.
I hope none of us are wanting in reverence. One at least of us is a regular church-goer, and believes a man may be devout and yet very free in the expression of his opinions on the gravest subjects. There may be some good people who think that our young friend who puts his thoughts in verse is going sounding over perilous depths, and are frightened every time he throws the lead. There is nothing to be frightened at. This is a manly world we live in. Our reverence is good for nothing if it does not begin with self-respect. Occidental manhood springs from that as its basis; Oriental manhood finds the greatest satisfaction in self-abasement. There is no use in trying to graft the tropical palm upon the Northern pine. The same divine forces underlie the growth of both, but leaf and flower and fruit must follow the law of race, of soil, of climate. Whether the questions which assail my young friend have risen in my reader's mind or not, he knows perfectly well that nobody can keep such questions from springing up in every young mind of any force or honesty. As for the excellent little wretches who grow up in what they are taught, with never a scruple or a query, Protestant or Catholic, Jew or Mormon, Mahometan or Buddhist, they signify nothing in the intellectual life of the race. If the world had been wholly peopled with such half-vitalized mental negatives, there never would have been a creed like that of Christendom.
I hope none of us lack respect. At least one of us is a regular church-goer who believes a person can be devout and still openly express their opinions on serious matters. Some good people might think that our young friend, who expresses his thoughts through poetry, is exploring dangerous depths and are nervous every time he takes a plunge. There’s nothing to worry about. We live in a mature world. Our respect is pointless if it doesn’t start with self-respect. Western manhood is based on that; Eastern manhood finds its greatest fulfillment in humility. There’s no use trying to merge a tropical palm with a Northern pine. The same divine forces support the growth of both, but their leaves, flowers, and fruits must follow the laws of their race, soil, and climate. Whether the questions weighing on my young friend have come to my readers' minds or not, he knows very well that no one can prevent such questions from arising in any young mind that has strength or honesty. As for those unfortunate individuals who grow up simply accepting what they’re taught, without a second thought or question—be they Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, Mormon, Muslim, or Buddhist—they contribute nothing to the intellectual life of our society. If the world had been entirely populated by such half-hearted thinkers, there never would have been a belief system like that of Christianity.
I entirely agree with the spirit of the verses I have looked over, in this point at least, that a true man's allegiance is given to that which is highest in his own nature. He reverences truth, he loves kindness, he respects justice. The two first qualities he understands well enough. But the last, justice, at least as between the Infinite and the finite, has been so utterly dehumanized, disintegrated, decomposed, and diabolized in passing through the minds of the half-civilized banditti who have peopled and unpeopled the world for some scores of generations, that it has become a mere algebraic x, and has no fixed value whatever as a human conception.
I completely agree with the essence of the verses I've read, at least in this aspect: a true person's loyalty is given to what is highest in their own nature. They honor truth, love kindness, and respect justice. They understand the first two qualities quite well. However, the last one, justice—especially between the Infinite and the finite—has been so thoroughly dehumanized, broken down, and twisted by the minds of the half-civilized bandits who have inhabited and emptied the world for many generations, that it has turned into a mere algebraic x, with no real value as a human idea.
As for power, we are outgrowing all superstition about that. We have not the slightest respect for it as such, and it is just as well to remember this in all our spiritual adjustments. We fear power when we cannot master it; but just as far as we can master it, we make a slave and a beast of burden of it without hesitation. We cannot change the ebb and flow of the tides, or the course of the seasons, but we come as near it as we can. We dam out the ocean, we make roses bloom in winter and water freeze in summer. We have no more reverence for the sun than we have for a fish-tail gas-burner; we stare into his face with telescopes as at a ballet-dancer with opera-glasses; we pick his rays to pieces with prisms as if they were so many skeins of colored yarn; we tell him we do not want his company and shut him out like a troublesome vagrant. The gods of the old heathen are the servants of to-day. Neptune, Vulcan, Aolus, and the bearer of the thunderbolt himself have stepped down from their pedestals and put on our livery. We cannot always master them, neither can we always master our servant, the horse, but we have put a bridle on the wildest natural agencies. The mob of elemental forces is as noisy and turbulent as ever, but the standing army of civilization keeps it well under, except for an occasional outbreak.
When it comes to power, we’re moving past all the superstitions surrounding it. We don’t respect it for its own sake, and it’s important to keep this in mind as we adjust spiritually. We fear power when we can’t control it; but as long as we can control it, we turn it into a servant and a beast of burden without a second thought. We can’t change the tides or the seasons, but we get as close as we can. We block out the ocean, we make roses bloom in winter, and we freeze water in summer. We show no more respect for the sun than we do for a gas burner; we gaze at it through telescopes as if we’re watching a ballet dancer with opera glasses; we break down its rays with prisms like they’re just colorful yarn. We tell the sun we don’t want it around and shut it out like an annoying drifter. The gods of the old religions are now our servants. Neptune, Vulcan, Aeolus, and even the thunder god himself have stepped down from their thrones and become part of our everyday lives. While we can’t always control them, just like we can’t always control our horse, we’ve managed to harness even the fiercest natural forces. The chaotic elemental forces still rage, but the structure of civilization keeps them mostly in check, except for the occasional outburst.
When I read the Lady's letter printed some time since, I could not help honoring the feeling which prompted her in writing it. But while I respect the innocent incapacity of tender age and the limitations of the comparatively uninstructed classes, it is quite out of the question to act as if matters of common intelligence and universal interest were the private property of a secret society, only to be meddled with by those who know the grip and the password.
When I read the lady's letter published a while ago, I couldn't help but admire the emotions that inspired her to write it. However, while I respect the innocent inability of youth and the limitations of less educated groups, it's simply unacceptable to treat matters of general understanding and widespread interest as if they belong to a secret society, only to be handled by those who have the insider knowledge and the access code.
We must get over the habit of transferring the limitations of the nervous temperament and of hectic constitutions to the great Source of all the mighty forces of nature, animate and inanimate. We may confidently trust that we have over us a Being thoroughly robust and grandly magnanimous, in distinction from the Infinite Invalid bred in the studies of sickly monomaniacs, who corresponds to a very common human type, but makes us blush for him when we contrast him with a truly noble man, such as most of us have had the privilege of knowing both in public and in private life.
We need to move past the tendency to impose the limitations of anxious personalities and fragile constitutions onto the great Source of all the powerful forces of nature, both living and non-living. We can confidently believe that we are under the care of a Being who is completely strong and incredibly generous, unlike the Infinite Invalid imagined by unhealthy obsessives, who represents a very common human type but makes us feel ashamed when we compare him to a truly noble person, like many of us have had the honor of knowing both publicly and privately.
I was not a little pleased to find that the Lady, in spite of her letter, sat through the young man's reading of portions of his poem with a good deal of complacency. I think I can guess what is in her mind. She believes, as so many women do, in that great remedy for discontent, and doubts about humanity, and questionings of Providence, and all sorts of youthful vagaries,—I mean the love-cure. And she thinks, not without some reason, that these astronomical lessons, and these readings of poetry and daily proximity at the table, and the need of two young hearts that have been long feeling lonely, and youth and nature and “all impulses of soul and sense,” as Coleridge has it, will bring these two young people into closer relations than they perhaps have yet thought of; and so that sweet lesson of loving the neighbor whom he has seen may lead him into deeper and more trusting communion with the Friend and Father whom he has not seen.
I was quite pleased to see that the Lady, despite her letter, listened to the young man's reading of parts of his poem with a lot of satisfaction. I think I can guess what she’s thinking. She believes, like so many women do, in that great cure for discontent, doubts about humanity, questions about fate, and all sorts of youthful whims—I’m talking about the love-cure. She thinks, not without some reason, that these astronomy lessons, poetry readings, daily closeness at the table, and the longing of two young hearts that have felt lonely for too long, along with youth, nature, and “all impulses of soul and sense,” as Coleridge put it, will bring these two young people into closer connection than they may have considered before; and so that sweet lesson of loving the neighbor he has seen may lead him into a deeper and more trusting relationship with the Friend and Father he has not seen.
The Young Girl evidently did not intend that her accomplice should be a loser by the summary act of the Member of the Haouse: I took occasion to ask That Boy what had become of all the popguns. He gave me to understand that popguns were played out, but that he had got a squirt and a whip, and considered himself better off than before.
The Young Girl clearly didn't want her friend to miss out because of the quick actions of the Member of the House. I took the chance to ask That Boy what happened to all the popguns. He let me know that popguns were old news, but he had a squirt gun and a whip, and he felt like he was better off than before.
This great world is full of mysteries. I can comprehend the pleasure to be got out of the hydraulic engine; but what can be the fascination of a whip, when one has nothing to flagellate but the calves of his own legs, I could never understand. Yet a small riding-whip is the most popular article with the miscellaneous New-Englander at all great gatherings,—cattle-shows and Fourth-of-July celebrations. If Democritus and Heraclitus could walk arm in arm through one of these crowds, the first would be in a broad laugh to see the multitude of young persons who were rejoicing in the possession of one of these useless and worthless little commodities; happy himself to see how easily others could purchase happiness. But the second would weep bitter tears to think what a rayless and barren life that must be which could extract enjoyment from the miserable flimsy wand that has such magic attraction for sauntering youths and simpering maidens. What a dynamometer of happiness are these paltry toys, and what a rudimentary vertebrate must be the freckled adolescent whose yearning for the infinite can be stayed even for a single hour by so trifling a boon from the venal hands of the finite!
This vast world is filled with mysteries. I can understand the enjoyment that comes from a hydraulic engine, but I can’t grasp the appeal of a whip when the only thing to whip are your own calves. Yet, a small riding whip is the most popular item among the diverse New England crowd at major events—like cattle shows and Fourth of July celebrations. If Democritus and Heraclitus were to stroll through one of these gatherings, the first would laugh heartily at the countless young people delighted by their ownership of such useless little items, happy to see how easily others can find joy. Meanwhile, the second would cry bitter tears, contemplating the bleak and joyless life that could derive pleasure from such a pathetic, flimsy stick that holds such allure for strolling youths and giggling maidens. These trivial toys serve as a measure of happiness, and how basic must be the freckled teenager whose desire for something greater can be satisfied, even for just an hour, by such a trivial gift from the greedy hands of the ordinary!
Pardon these polysyllabic reflections, Beloved, but I never contemplate these dear fellow-creatures of ours without a delicious sense of superiority to them and to all arrested embryos of intelligence, in which I have no doubt you heartily sympathize with me. It is not merely when I look at the vacuous countenances of the mastigophori, the whip-holders, that I enjoy this luxury (though I would not miss that holiday spectacle for a pretty sum of money, and advise you by all means to make sure of it next Fourth of July, if you missed it this), but I get the same pleasure from many similar manifestations.
Pardon my lengthy thoughts, dear one, but I can’t help but feel a sense of superiority over our fellow creatures and all the stunted forms of intelligence, which I’m sure you can relate to. It’s not just when I see the blank expressions of the flag-wavers that I enjoy this feeling (though I wouldn’t trade that holiday scene for anything and I strongly suggest you experience it next Fourth of July if you missed it this year), but I find the same satisfaction in many other similar situations.
I delight in Regalia, so called, of the kind not worn by kings, nor obtaining their diamonds from the mines of Golconda. I have a passion for those resplendent titles which are not conferred by a sovereign and would not be the open sesame to the courts of royalty, yet which are as opulent in impressive adjectives as any Knight of the Garter's list of dignities. When I have recognized in the every-day name of His Very Worthy High Eminence of some cabalistic association, the inconspicuous individual whose trifling indebtedness to me for value received remains in a quiescent state and is likely long to continue so, I confess to having experienced a thrill of pleasure. I have smiled to think how grand his magnificent titular appendages sounded in his own ears and what a feeble tintinnabulation they made in mine. The crimson sash, the broad diagonal belt of the mounted marshal of a great procession, so cheap in themselves, yet so entirely satisfactory to the wearer, tickle my heart's root.
I take joy in regalia, not the kind worn by kings, nor the diamond jewels from the mines of Golconda. I'm passionate about those shining titles that aren't given by a monarch and wouldn't grant access to royal courts, yet are just as rich in impressive descriptors as a Knight of the Garter's list of honors. When I recognize in the common name of His Very Worthy High Eminence from some mysterious group, the unassuming person whose minor debt to me remains unacknowledged and will likely stay that way, I admit I feel a thrill of enjoyment. I've smiled thinking about how grand his impressive titles sound to him and how weakly they resonate with me. The crimson sash and the wide diagonal belt of a mounted marshal in a grand procession, so inexpensive in themselves, yet so completely satisfying to the wearer, touch my heart deeply.
Perhaps I should have enjoyed all these weaknesses of my infantile fellow-creatures without an afterthought, except that on a certain literary anniversary when I tie the narrow blue and pink ribbons in my button-hole and show my decorated bosom to the admiring public, I am conscious of a certain sense of distinction and superiority in virtue of that trifling addition to my personal adornments which reminds me that I too have some embryonic fibres in my tolerably well-matured organism.
Perhaps I should have appreciated all these shortcomings of my childish fellow humans without a second thought, except that on a certain literary anniversary when I pin the narrow blue and pink ribbons in my buttonhole and display my decorated chest to the admiring public, I feel a sense of distinction and superiority because of that small addition to my personal style, reminding me that I also have some undeveloped qualities in my pretty well-formed self.
I hope I have not hurt your feelings, if you happen to be a High and Mighty Grand Functionary in any illustrious Fraternity. When I tell you that a bit of ribbon in my button-hole sets my vanity prancing, I think you cannot be grievously offended that I smile at the resonant titles which make you something more than human in your own eyes. I would not for the world be mistaken for one of those literary roughs whose brass knuckles leave their mark on the foreheads of so many inoffensive people.
I hope I haven't upset you, especially if you're a high-ranking official in some prestigious group. When I say that a piece of ribbon in my buttonhole boosts my ego, I don't think you can be too offended that I find humor in the grand titles that make you feel more important than the rest of us. I definitely wouldn’t want to be confused with those literary bullies whose tough attitudes leave a mark on so many innocent people.
There is a human sub-species characterized by the coarseness of its fibre and the acrid nature of its intellectual secretions. It is to a certain extent penetrative, as all creatures are which are provided with stings. It has an instinct which guides it to the vulnerable parts of the victim on which it fastens. These two qualities give it a certain degree of power which is not to be despised. It might perhaps be less mischievous, but for the fact that the wound where it leaves its poison opens the fountain from which it draws its nourishment.
There is a human sub-species identified by its rough nature and the sharpness of its thoughts. It is somewhat invasive, like all creatures that have stingers. It has an instinct that directs it to the weak spots of its target where it attaches itself. These two traits give it a certain level of influence that shouldn't be underestimated. It might be less harmful if it weren't for the fact that the injury where it injects its poison leads to the source from which it feeds.
Beings of this kind can be useful if they will only find their appropriate sphere, which is not literature, but that circle of rough-and-tumble political life where the fine-fibred men are at a discount, where epithets find their subjects poison-proof, and the sting which would be fatal to a literary debutant only wakes the eloquence of the pachydermatous ward-room politician to a fiercer shriek of declamation.
Beings like this can be helpful if they just find their right place, which isn’t in literature, but in the messy world of politics where sensitive souls are not valued, where insults are directed at tough characters, and the hurt that would crush a literary newcomer only stirs the loud response of the thick-skinned politician to an even louder shout of rhetoric.
The Master got talking the other day about the difference between races and families. I am reminded of what he said by what I have just been saying myself about coarse-fibred and fine-fibred people.
The Master was talking the other day about the differences between races and families. I am reminded of what he said by what I've just mentioned about coarse-fibred and fine-fibred people.
—We talk about a Yankee, a New-Englander,—he said,-as if all of 'em were just the same kind of animal. “There is knowledge and knowledge,” said John Bunyan. There are Yankees and Yankees. Do you know two native trees called pitch pine and white pine respectively? Of course you know 'em. Well, there are pitch-pine Yankees and white-pine Yankees. We don't talk about the inherited differences of men quite as freely, perhaps, as they do in the Old World, but republicanism doesn't alter the laws of physiology. We have a native aristocracy, a superior race, just as plainly marked by nature as of a higher and finer grade than the common run of people as the white pine is marked in its form, its stature, its bark, its delicate foliage, as belonging to the nobility of the forest; and the pitch pine, stubbed, rough, coarse-haired, as of the plebeian order. Only the strange thing is to see in what a capricious way our natural nobility is distributed. The last born nobleman I have seen, I saw this morning; he was pulling a rope that was fastened to a Maine schooner loaded with lumber. I should say he was about twenty years old, as fine a figure of a young man as you would ask to see, and with a regular Greek outline of countenance, waving hair, that fell as if a sculptor had massed it to copy, and a complexion as rich as a red sunset. I have a notion that the State of Maine breeds the natural nobility in a larger proportion than some other States, but they spring up in all sorts of out-of-the-way places. The young fellow I saw this morning had on an old flannel shirt, a pair of trowsers that meant hard work, and a cheap cloth cap pushed back on his head so as to let the large waves of hair straggle out over his forehead; he was tugging at his rope with the other sailors, but upon my word I don't think I have seen a young English nobleman of all those whom I have looked upon that answered to the notion of “blood” so well as this young fellow did. I suppose if I made such a levelling confession as this in public, people would think I was looking towards being the labor-reform candidate for President. But I should go on and spoil my prospects by saying that I don't think the white-pine Yankee is the more generally prevailing growth, but rather the pitch-pine Yankee.
—We talk about a Yankee, a New Englander,—he said,—as if they were all the same kind of person. “There is knowledge and knowledge,” said John Bunyan. There are Yankees and Yankees. Do you know two native trees called pitch pine and white pine? Of course, you know them. Well, there are pitch-pine Yankees and white-pine Yankees. We don’t discuss the inherited differences of people as openly as they do in the Old World, but republicanism doesn’t change the laws of physiology. We have a native aristocracy, a superior race, as clearly defined by nature as the white pine is distinguished by its shape, size, bark, and fine foliage, representing the nobility of the forest; while the pitch pine is rough, coarse, and unrefined, like the common folk. What’s strange is how randomly our natural nobility is spread out. The last nobleman I saw was this morning; he was pulling a rope tied to a Maine schooner loaded with lumber. He looked about twenty, and was as impressive a young man as you could hope to see, with a handsome Greek profile, wavy hair that fell perfectly as if sculpted, and a complexion as rich as a sunset. I have a sense that the State of Maine produces a higher proportion of natural nobility than some other states, but they emerge in all sorts of uncommon places. The young man I saw this morning wore an old flannel shirt, work-worn trousers, and a cheap cloth cap pushed back on his head so his thick waves of hair cascaded over his forehead; he was pulling at the rope with the other sailors, but honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a young English nobleman who fit the idea of “noble blood” as well as this guy did. I suppose if I admitted this publicly, people would think I was aiming to be the labor-reform candidate for President. But I’d ruin my chances by saying that I don’t believe the white-pine Yankee is the more common type; it’s actually the pitch-pine Yankee.
—The Member of the Haouse seemed to have been getting a dim idea that all this was not exactly flattering to the huckleberry districts. His features betrayed the growth of this suspicion so clearly that the Master replied to his look as if it had been a remark. [I need hardly say that this particular member of the General Court was a pitch-pine Yankee of the most thoroughly characterized aspect and flavor.]
—The Member of the House appeared to be catching on that this wasn’t exactly doing any favors for the huckleberry districts. His face clearly showed that this suspicion was growing, so the Master responded to his look as if it had been a comment. [I hardly need to mention that this particular member of the General Court was a pitch-pine Yankee with a very distinct appearance and vibe.]
—Yes, Sir,—the Master continued,—Sir being anybody that listened, —there is neither flattery nor offence in the views which a physiological observer takes of the forms of life around him. It won't do to draw individual portraits, but the differences of natural groups of human beings are as proper subjects of remark as those of different breeds of horses, and if horses were Houyhnhnms I don't think they would quarrel with us because we made a distinction between a “Morgan” and a “Messenger.” The truth is, Sir, the lean sandy soil and the droughts and the long winters and the east-winds and the cold storms, and all sorts of unknown local influences that we can't make out quite so plainly as these, have a tendency to roughen the human organization and make it coarse, something as it is with the tree I mentioned. Some spots and some strains of blood fight against these influences, but if I should say right out what I think, it would be that the finest human fruit, on the whole; and especially the finest women that we get in New England are raised under glass.
—Yes, Sir,—the Master continued,—Sir meaning anyone who’s listening,—there’s no flattery or offense in the way a physiological observer views the forms of life around him. It doesn’t work to paint individual portraits, but the differences in natural groups of human beings are just as valid to discuss as the differences between various breeds of horses. If horses were Houyhnhnms, I doubt they’d take issue with us for distinguishing between a “Morgan” and a “Messenger.” The reality is, Sir, the lean sandy soil, droughts, long winters, east winds, cold storms, and all kinds of unidentified local influences that we can’t pinpoint as clearly as those, tend to roughen human traits and make them coarse, similar to the tree I mentioned. Some areas and certain bloodlines resist these influences, but if I were to say outright what I believe, it would be that the best human outcomes overall, particularly the finest women we produce in New England, grow up under glass.
—Good gracious!—exclaimed the Landlady, under glass!
—Wow!—exclaimed the Landlady, in glass!
—Give me cowcumbers raised in the open air, said the Capitalist, who was a little hard of hearing.
—Give me cucumbers grown outdoors, said the Capitalist, who was a bit hard of hearing.
—Perhaps,—I remarked,—it might be as well if you would explain this last expression of yours. Raising human beings under glass I take to be a metaphorical rather than a literal statement of your meaning.
—Maybe,—I said,—it would be good if you could explain that last remark of yours. I assume that raising human beings under glass is a metaphorical rather than a literal expression of what you mean.
—No, Sir!—replied the Master, with energy,—I mean just what I say, Sir. Under glass, and with a south exposure. During the hard season, of course,—for in the heats of summer the tenderest hot-house plants are not afraid of the open air. Protection is what the transplanted Aryan requires in this New England climate. Keep him, and especially keep her, in a wide street of a well-built city eight months of the year; good solid brick walls behind her, good sheets of plate-glass, with the sun shining warm through them, in front of her, and you have put her in the condition of the pine-apple, from the land of which, and not from that of the other kind of pine, her race started on its travels. People don't know what a gain there is to health by living in cities, the best parts of them of course, for we know too well what the worst parts are. In the first place you get rid of the noxious emanations which poison so many country localities with typhoid fever and dysentery, not wholly rid of them, of course, but to a surprising degree. Let me tell you a doctor's story. I was visiting a Western city a good many years ago; it was in the autumn, the time when all sorts of malarious diseases are about. The doctor I was speaking of took me to see the cemetery just outside the town, I don't know how much he had done to fill it, for he didn't tell me, but I'll tell you what he did say.
—No, Sir!—replied the Master, with energy,—I mean exactly what I say, Sir. Under glass and with a south-facing exposure. During the harsh season, of course,—because in the heat of summer, even the most delicate greenhouse plants aren't afraid of the open air. Protection is what the transplanted Aryan needs in this New England climate. Keep him, and especially keep her, in a wide street of a well-constructed city for eight months of the year; solid brick walls behind her, clear sheets of plate glass in front of her with the sun shining warmly through, and you've put her in the same conditions as a pineapple, from the land of which, not from that of other types of pine, her race began its journey. People don't realize how much living in cities, especially the better parts, benefits health—as we know all too well what the worst parts are. First, you eliminate the harmful emissions that poison many rural areas with typhoid fever and dysentery. They aren't entirely gone, of course, but significantly lessened. Let me share a doctor's story. I visited a Western city many years ago; it was autumn, when all sorts of malaria-related diseases are present. The doctor I’m referring to took me to see the cemetery just outside of town. I’m not sure how many people he had sent there; he didn’t tell me, but I'll tell you what he did say.
“Look round,” said the doctor. “There isn't a house in all the ten-mile circuit of country you can see over, where there isn't one person, at least, shaking with fever and ague. And yet you need n't be afraid of carrying it away with you, for as long as your home is on a paved street you are safe.”
“Look around,” said the doctor. “There isn't a single house in this entire ten-mile area that you can see where at least one person isn't shaking with fever and chills. And yet you don't need to worry about taking it home with you, because as long as you live on a paved street, you’re safe.”
—I think it likely—the Master went on to say—that my friend the doctor put it pretty strongly, but there is no doubt at all that while all the country round was suffering from intermittent fever, the paved part of the city was comparatively exempted. What do you do when you build a house on a damp soil, and there are damp soils pretty much everywhere? Why you floor the cellar with cement, don't you? Well, the soil of a city is cemented all over, one may say, with certain qualifications of course. A first-rate city house is a regular sanatorium. The only trouble is, that the little good-for-nothings that come of utterly used-up and worn-out stock, and ought to die, can't die, to save their lives. So they grow up to dilute the vigor of the race with skim-milk vitality. They would have died, like good children, in most average country places; but eight months of shelter in a regulated temperature, in a well-sunned house, in a duly moistened air, with good sidewalks to go about on in all weather, and four months of the cream of summer and the fresh milk of Jersey cows, make the little sham organizations—the worm-eaten wind-falls, for that 's what they look like—hang on to the boughs of life like “froze-n-thaws”; regular struldbrugs they come to be, a good many of 'em.
—I think it’s likely—the Master continued—that my friend the doctor made a strong point, but there’s no doubt that while the surrounding countryside was dealing with intermittent fever, the paved areas of the city were relatively unaffected. What do you do when you build a house on damp ground, and there’s damp ground just about everywhere? You lay down a cement floor in the cellar, right? Well, the city’s ground is pretty much covered in cement, with some qualifications, of course. A top-notch city house acts like a sanatorium. The problem is, the little good-for-nothings that come from totally worn-out stock, and should die, can’t seem to die, no matter what. So they grow up to dilute the vitality of the species with weak energy. They would have died, like good kids, in most average rural areas; but eight months of being sheltered in a controlled environment, in a sunny house, with properly humid air, well-maintained sidewalks to walk on in any weather, plus four months of the best summer weather and fresh milk from Jersey cows, makes these little sham creatures—the worn-out scrubs, because that’s what they look like—cling to life like “frozen-thaws”; many of them end up being regular struldbrugs.
—The Scarabee's ear was caught by that queer word of Swift's, and he asked very innocently what kind of bugs he was speaking of, whereupon That Boy shouted out, Straddlebugs! to his own immense amusement and the great bewilderment of the Scarabee, who only saw that there was one of those unintelligible breaks in the conversation which made other people laugh, and drew back his antennae as usual, perplexed, but not amused.
—The Scarabee heard that odd word from Swift and asked innocently what kind of bugs he was talking about. That Boy, finding it hilarious, shouted out, “Straddlebugs!” This left the Scarabee completely confused. He only noticed one of those strange pauses in the conversation that made everyone else laugh and pulled back his antennae, feeling puzzled but not entertained.
I do not believe the Master had said all he was going to say on this subject, and of course all these statements of his are more or less one-sided. But that some invalids do much better in cities than in the country is indisputable, and that the frightful dysenteries and fevers which have raged like pestilences in many of our country towns are almost unknown in the better built sections of some of our large cities is getting to be more generally understood since our well-to-do people have annually emigrated in such numbers from the cemented surface of the city to the steaming soil of some of the dangerous rural districts. If one should contrast the healthiest country residences with the worst city ones the result would be all the other way, of course, so that there are two sides to the question, which we must let the doctors pound in their great mortar, infuse and strain, hoping that they will present us with the clear solution when they have got through these processes. One of our chief wants is a complete sanitary map of every State in the Union.
I don't think the Master has shared everything he has to say on this topic, and of course, his statements are somewhat biased. However, it's undeniable that some patients do much better in cities than in the countryside. The awful dysenteries and fevers that have devastated many of our rural towns are almost nonexistent in the better-constructed parts of our large cities. This understanding is becoming more common as well-off people have increasingly moved from the cemented city to the dangerous, rural areas. If we were to compare the healthiest country homes with the worst city homes, the results would clearly be the opposite, indicating that there are two sides to this issue, which we should let the doctors analyze thoroughly, hoping they will provide us with a clear answer after they've done their work. One of our main needs is a complete sanitary map of every State in the Union.
The balance of our table, as the reader has no doubt observed, has been deranged by the withdrawal of the Man of Letters, so called, and only the side of the deficiency changed by the removal of the Young Astronomer into our neighborhood. The fact that there was a vacant chair on the side opposite us had by no means escaped the notice of That Boy. He had taken advantage of his opportunity and invited in a schoolmate whom he evidently looked upon as a great personage. This boy or youth was a good deal older than himself and stood to him apparently in the light of a patron and instructor in the ways of life. A very jaunty, knowing young gentleman he was, good-looking, smartly dressed, smooth-checked as yet, curly-haired, with a roguish eye, a sagacious wink, a ready tongue, as I soon found out; and as I learned could catch a ball on the fly with any boy of his age; not quarrelsome, but, if he had to strike, hit from the shoulder; the pride of his father (who was a man of property and a civic dignitary), and answering to the name of Johnny.
The balance of our table, as you may have noticed, was thrown off by the departure of the so-called Man of Letters, and the only change in the deficiency side came from the arrival of the Young Astronomer to our neighborhood. It didn't go unnoticed by That Boy that there was an empty chair across from us. He took this chance to invite a schoolmate whom he clearly admired as a big deal. This boy was quite a bit older than him and seemed to act like a mentor, guiding him through life. He was a pretty stylish and confident young guy, good-looking, smartly dressed, with smooth skin, curly hair, a mischievous sparkle in his eye, a wise little wink, and a quick tongue, as I soon found out; and I learned that he could catch a ball on the fly just as well as any boy his age. He wasn’t a fighter, but if he needed to throw a punch, he did it hard. He was his father's pride (who was well-off and a respected community figure), and his name was Johnny.
I was a little surprised at the liberty That Boy had taken in introducing an extra peptic element at our table, reflecting as I did that a certain number of avoirdupois ounces of nutriment which the visitor would dispose of corresponded to a very appreciable pecuniary amount, so that he was levying a contribution upon our Landlady which she might be inclined to complain of. For the Caput mortuum (or deadhead, in vulgar phrase) is apt to be furnished with a Venter vivus, or, as we may say, a lively appetite. But the Landlady welcomed the new-comer very heartily.
I was a bit surprised at the freedom that Boy had taken by bringing an extra guest to our table, considering that the amount of food this visitor would eat would add up to a significant cost, so he was putting a strain on our landlady that she might not appreciate. After all, the deadweight (or freeloaders, as people often say) usually comes with a healthy appetite. But the landlady welcomed the newcomer warmly.
—Why! how—do—you—do Johnny?! with the notes of interrogation and of admiration both together, as here represented.
—Hey! how—are—you—doing, Johnny?! with a mix of curiosity and admiration, just like shown here.
Johnny signified that he was doing about as well as could be expected under the circumstances, having just had a little difference with a young person whom he spoke of as “Pewter-jaw” (I suppose he had worn a dentist's tooth-straightening contrivance during his second dentition), which youth he had finished off, as he said, in good shape, but at the expense of a slight epistaxis, we will translate his vernacular expression.
Johnny indicated that he was doing as well as could be expected under the circumstances, having just had a little disagreement with a young guy he referred to as “Pewter-jaw” (I guess he had worn some kind of dental braces during his second set of teeth). He claimed he had taken care of him in good shape, but it resulted in a bit of a nosebleed, as we would translate his casual expression.
—The three ladies all looked sympathetic, but there did not seem to be any great occasion for it, as the boy had come out all right, and seemed to be in the best of spirits.
—The three women all looked understanding, but there didn’t seem to be much reason for it, as the boy had come out just fine and appeared to be in great spirits.
—And how is your father and your mother? asked the Landlady.
—And how are your dad and mom? asked the Landlady.
—Oh, the Governor and the Head Centre? A 1, both of 'em. Prime order for shipping,—warranted to stand any climate. The Governor says he weighs a hunderd and seventy-five pounds. Got a chin-tuft just like Ed'in Forrest. D'd y' ever see Ed'in Forrest play Metamora? Bully, I tell you! My old gentleman means to be Mayor or Governor or President or something or other before he goes off the handle, you'd better b'lieve. He's smart,—and I've heard folks say I take after him.
—Oh, the Governor and the Head Center? A 1, both of them. Top quality for shipping,—guaranteed to withstand any climate. The Governor claims he weighs one hundred seventy-five pounds. He has a chin tuft just like Edwin Forrest. Did you ever see Edwin Forrest play Metamora? Awesome, I tell you! My old man intends to be Mayor or Governor or President or something before he loses it, you better believe it. He’s sharp,—and I’ve heard people say I take after him.
—Somehow or other I felt as if I had seen this boy before, or known something about him. Where did he get those expressions “A 1” and “prime” and so on? They must have come from somebody who has been in the retail dry-goods business, or something of that nature. I have certain vague reminiscences that carry me back to the early times of this boardinghouse.—Johnny.—Landlady knows his father well.
—Somehow, I felt like I had seen this boy before or knew something about him. Where did he pick up phrases like “A 1” and “prime”? They must have come from someone in the retail apparel business or something similar. I have some fuzzy memories that take me back to the early days of this boarding house.—Johnny.—The landlady knows his father well.
—Boarded with her, no doubt.—There was somebody by the name of John, I remember perfectly well, lived with her. I remember both my friends mentioned him, one of them very often. I wonder if this boy isn't a son of his! I asked the Landlady after breakfast whether this was not, as I had suspected, the son of that former boarder.
—Staying with her, for sure.—There was a guy named John, I clearly remember, who lived with her. I recall both my friends talking about him, one of them quite a bit. I wonder if this boy is his son! After breakfast, I asked the landlady if this was, as I suspected, the son of that previous boarder.
—To be sure he is,—she answered,—and jest such a good-natur'd sort of creatur' as his father was. I always liked John, as we used to call his father. He did love fun, but he was a good soul, and stood by me when I was in trouble, always. He went into business on his own account after a while, and got merried, and settled down into a family man. They tell me he is an amazing smart business man,—grown wealthy, and his wife's father left her money. But I can't help calling him John,—law, we never thought of calling him anything else, and he always laughs and says, “That's right.” This is his oldest son, and everybody calls him Johnny. That Boy of ours goes to the same school with his boy, and thinks there never was anybody like him,—you see there was a boy undertook to impose on our boy, and Johnny gave the other boy a good licking, and ever since that he is always wanting to have Johnny round with him and bring him here with him,—and when those two boys get together, there never was boys that was so chock full of fun and sometimes mischief, but not very bad mischief, as those two boys be. But I like to have him come once in a while when there is room at the table, as there is now, for it puts me in mind of the old times, when my old boarders was all round me, that I used to think so much of,—not that my boarders that I have now a'nt very nice people, but I did think a dreadful sight of the gentleman that made that first book; it helped me on in the world more than ever he knew of,—for it was as good as one of them Brandreth's pills advertisements, and did n't cost me a cent, and that young lady he merried too, she was nothing but a poor young schoolma'am when she come to my house, and now—and she deserved it all too; for she was always just the same, rich or poor, and she is n't a bit prouder now she wears a camel's-hair shawl, than she was when I used to lend her a woollen one to keep her poor dear little shoulders warm when she had to go out and it was storming,—and then there was that old gentleman,—I can't speak about him, for I never knew how good he was till his will was opened, and then it was too late to thank him....
—Yes, he definitely is,—she replied,—and just like his dad, he's such a good-natured person. I always liked John, as we referred to his father. He loved to have fun, but he was a good guy and always stood by me when I was in trouble. Eventually, he started his own business, got married, and became a family man. I hear he's an incredibly savvy businessman—he's done really well, and his wife inherited money from her father. But I can't help calling him John—honestly, we never thought of calling him anything else, and he always laughs and says, “That's right.” This is his oldest son, and everyone calls him Johnny. Our boy goes to the same school as his son and thinks there's nobody quite like him. You see, there was a kid who tried to bully our boy, and Johnny gave him a good beating, and ever since then, he always wants Johnny around and brings him here—when those two get together, no boys have ever been so full of fun and sometimes mischief, but not bad mischief, like those two. I like having him over once in a while when there's room at the table, like now, because it reminds me of the old days when my previous boarders were all around me, whom I thought so highly of—not that the boarders I have now aren’t nice people, but I really admired the gentleman who wrote that first book; it helped me more than he ever knew—like one of those Brandreth's pills ads, and it didn’t cost me a thing. And that young lady he married? She was just a poor young schoolteacher when she came to my house, and now—and she deserved it all too; she’s always been the same, rich or poor. She's not a bit prouder now that she wears a camel's-hair shawl than when I used to lend her a wool one to keep her little shoulders warm when she had to go out in a storm—and then there was that old gentleman—I can’t even talk about him because I never realized how good he was until his will was read, and by then it was too late to thank him...
I respected the feeling which caused the interval of silence, and found my own eyes moistened as I remembered how long it was since that friend of ours was sitting in the chair where I now sit, and what a tidal wave of change has swept over the world and more especially over this great land of ours, since he opened his lips and found so many kind listeners.
I honored the emotion that created the pause, and I noticed my own eyes welling up as I recalled how long it’s been since our friend sat in this chair where I’m sitting now, and what a huge wave of change has washed over the world, especially this great country of ours, since he spoke and found so many friendly ears.
The Young Astronomer has read us another extract from his manuscript. I ran my eye over it, and so far as I have noticed it is correct enough in its versification. I suppose we are getting gradually over our hemispherical provincialism, which allowed a set of monks to pull their hoods over our eyes and tell us there was no meaning in any religious symbolism but our own. If I am mistaken about this advance I am very glad to print the young man's somewhat outspoken lines to help us in that direction.
The Young Astronomer has shared another excerpt from his manuscript. I skimmed through it, and as far as I can tell, the verse seems accurate enough. I think we're slowly moving past our narrow-minded views, which let a group of monks blind us into believing there was no significance in any religious symbolism except for our own. If I'm wrong about this progress, I'm really happy to publish the young man's candid lines to assist us in that direction.
WIND-CLOUDS AND STAR-DRIFTS. VI The time is racked with birth-pangs; every hour Brings forth some gasping truth, and truth new-born Looks a misshapen and untimely growth, The terror of the household and its shame, A monster coiling in its nurse's lap That some would strangle, some would only starve; But still it breathes, and passed from hand to hand, And suckled at a hundred half-clad breasts, Comes slowly to its stature and its form, Calms the rough ridges of its dragon-scales, Changes to shining locks its snaky hair, And moves transfigured into angel guise, Welcomed by all that cursed its hour of birth, And folded in the same encircling arms That cast it like a serpent from their hold! If thou wouldst live in honor, die in peace, Have the fine words the marble-workers learn To carve so well, upon thy funeral-stone, And earn a fair obituary, dressed In all the many-colored robes of praise, Be deafer than the adder to the cry Of that same foundling truth, until it grows To seemly favor, and at length has won The smiles of hard-mouthed men and light-upped dames, Then snatch it from its meagre nurse's breast, Fold it in silk and give it food from gold; So shalt thou share its glory when at last It drops its mortal vesture, and revealed In all the splendor of its heavenly form, Spreads on the startled air its mighty wings! Alas! how much that seemed immortal truth That heroes fought for, martyrs died to save, Reveals its earth-born lineage, growing old And limping in its march, its wings unplumed, Its heavenly semblance faded like a dream! Here in this painted casket, just unsealed, Lies what was once a breathing shape like thine, Once loved as thou art loved; there beamed the eyes That looked on Memphis in its hour of pride, That saw the walls of hundred-gated Thebes, And all the mirrored glories of the Nile. See how they toiled that all-consuming time Might leave the frame immortal in its tomb; Filled it with fragrant balms and odorous gums That still diffuse their sweetness through the air, And wound and wound with patient fold on fold The flaxen bands thy hand has rudely torn! Perchance thou yet canst see the faded stain Of the sad mourner's tear. But what is this? The sacred beetle, bound upon the breast Of the blind heathen! Snatch the curious prize, Give it a place among thy treasured spoils Fossil and relic,—corals, encrinites, The fly in amber and the fish in stone, The twisted circlet of Etruscan gold, Medal, intaglio, poniard, poison-ring, —Place for the Memphian beetle with thine hoard! Ah! longer than thy creed has blest the world This toy, thus ravished from thy brother's breast, Was to the heart of Mizraim as divine, As holy, as the symbol that we lay On the still bosom of our white-robed dead, And raise above their dust that all may know Here sleeps an heir of glory. Loving friends, With tears of trembling faith and choking sobs, And prayers to those who judge of mortal deeds, Wrapped this poor image in the cerement's fold That Isis and Osiris, friends of man, Might know their own and claim the ransomed soul An idol? Man was born to worship such! An idol is an image of his thought; Sometimes he carves it out of gleaming stone, And sometimes moulds it out of glittering gold, Or rounds it in a mighty frescoed dome, Or lifts it heavenward in a lofty spire, Or shapes it in a cunning frame of words, Or pays his priest to make it day by day; For sense must have its god as well as soul; A new-born Dian calls for silver shrines, And Egypt's holiest symbol is our own, The sign we worship as did they of old When Isis and Osiris ruled the world. Let us be true to our most subtle selves, We long to have our idols like the rest. Think! when the men of Israel had their God Encamped among them, talking with their chief, Leading them in the pillar of the cloud And watching o'er them in the shaft of fire, They still must have an image; still they longed For somewhat of substantial, solid form Whereon to hang their garlands, and to fix Their wandering thoughts, and gain a stronger hold For their uncertain faith, not yet assured If those same meteors of the day and night Were not mere exhalations of the soil. Are we less earthly than the chosen race? Are we more neighbors of the living God Than they who gathered manna every morn, Reaping where none had sown, and heard the voice Of him who met the Highest in the mount, And brought them tables, graven with His hand? Yet these must have their idol, brought their gold, That star-browed Apis might be god again; Yea, from their ears the women brake the rings That lent such splendors to the gypsy brown Of sunburnt cheeks,—what more could woman do To show her pious zeal? They went astray, But nature led them as it leads us all. We too, who mock at Israel's golden calf And scoff at Egypt's sacred scarabee, Would have our amulets to clasp and kiss, And flood with rapturous tears, and bear with us To be our dear companions in the dust, Such magic works an image in our souls! Man is an embryo; see at twenty years His bones, the columns that uphold his frame Not yet cemented, shaft and capital, Mere fragments of the temple incomplete. At twoscore, threescore, is he then full grown? Nay, still a child, and as the little maids Dress and undress their puppets, so he tries To dress a lifeless creed, as if it lived, And change its raiment when the world cries shame! We smile to see our little ones at play So grave, so thoughtful, with maternal care Nursing the wisps of rags they call their babes; Does He not smile who sees us with the toys We call by sacred names, and idly feign To be what we have called them? He is still The Father of this helpless nursery-brood, Whose second childhood joins so close its first, That in the crowding, hurrying years between We scarce have trained our senses to their task Before the gathering mist has dimmed our eyes, And with our hollowed palm we help our ear, And trace with trembling hand our wrinkled names, And then begin to tell our stories o'er, And see—not hear-the whispering lips that say, “You know—? Your father knew him.—This is he, Tottering and leaning on the hireling's arm,—” And so, at length, disrobed of all that clad The simple life we share with weed and worm, Go to our cradles, naked as we came.
WIND-CLOUDS AND STAR-DRIFTS. VI The moment is filled with the pain of new beginnings; every hour brings forth some struggling truth, and this fresh truth appears as a distorted and untimely growth, the fear and disgrace of the home. It’s like a monster curled up in its caretaker's lap, some would strangle it, while others would let it starve; but it still breathes, moving from hand to hand, and nursing at a hundred half-clad breasts. Slowly it reaches its proper size and shape, smoothing the rough edges of its dragon-like scales, transforming its serpentine hair into shining locks, and moving, changed, into angelic form, welcomed by all who cursed the hour of its birth, and embraced in the very arms that cast it away like a serpent! If you want to live in honor and die in peace, have the fine words that stonecutters learn to carve so well on your gravestone, and earn a fair obituary, dressed in all the colorful robes of praise. Be as deaf as a snake to the cries of that same abandoned truth until it becomes presentable and eventually wins the smiles of tough men and enlightened women. Then take it from its meager nurse's breast, wrap it in silk, and feed it gold; then you will share its glory when at last it sheds its mortal shell, and revealed in all the splendor of its heavenly form, spreads its mighty wings on the startled air! Alas! how much that seemed like eternal truth, for which heroes fought and martyrs died, reveals its earthly origins, aging and limping in its march, its wings unplumed, its heavenly appearance faded like a dream! Here in this painted box, just opened, lies what was once a living shape like yours, once loved as you are loved; there shone the eyes that gazed upon Memphis in its time of pride, that saw the walls of hundred-gated Thebes, and all the reflected glories of the Nile. See how they worked so hard to ensure that time would leave the frame immortal in its tomb; filled it with fragrant balms and sweet-smelling resins that still release their scent into the air, and wound and wound with careful layers the linen strips your hand has clumsily torn away! Perhaps you can still see the faded stain of the mourners’ tears. But what’s this? The sacred beetle, resting on the chest of the blind pagan! Grab this interesting prize, give it a place among your valued treasures—fossils and relics, corals, encrinites, the fly in amber and the fish in stone, the twisted circlet of Etruscan gold, medals, intaglios, daggers, poison rings—make space for the Memphian beetle with your collection! Ah! longer than your faith has blessed the world, this trinket, thus taken from your brother’s embrace, was to the heart of Mizraim as divine, as sacred, as the symbol we lay on the still bosom of our white-robed dead, and raise above their ashes so that all may know here sleeps an heir of glory. Loving friends, with trembling faith and choked sobs, and prayers to those who judge human deeds, wrapped this poor image in the linen that Isis and Osiris, friends of humanity, might recognize their own and claim the rescued soul. An idol? Man was born to worship such things! An idol is an image of his thoughts; sometimes he carves it from gleaming stone, at other times molds it from shiny gold, or shapes it in a grand frescoed dome, or lifts it skyward in a tall spire, or frames it with clever words, or pays a priest to create it daily; for the senses need a god just as much as the soul does; a new-born deity calls for silver shrines, and Egypt’s holiest symbol is our own, the sign we worship as they did back when Isis and Osiris ruled the earth. Let us be true to our most subtle selves; we long to have our idols like everyone else. Think! when the people of Israel had their God encamped among them, talking with their leader, guiding them in a pillar of cloud and watching over them in a beam of fire, they still needed an image; they still yearned for something tangible, solid, on which to hang their garlands, to focus their wandering thoughts, and anchor their shaky faith, uncertain if those same meteors of day and night were not just mere wisps of earth. Are we less earthly than the chosen people? Are we closer to the living God than those who gathered manna every morning, reaping where none had sown, and heard the voice of Him who met the Highest on the mountain and brought them tablets, engraved with His hand? Yet they had to have their idol, brought their gold so star-browed Apis could be a god again; yes, from their ears, the women broke the rings that adorned their sun-kissed cheeks—what else could a woman do to show her deep devotion? They went astray, but nature led them as it leads us all. We too, who mock Israel’s golden calf and scoff at Egypt’s sacred scarab, would have our amulets to hold and kiss, and flood with rapturous tears, to keep with us as dear companions in the dust; such magic an image works in our souls! Man is an embryo; look at him at twenty years—his bones, the columns that support his frame, not yet joined, shaft and capital, mere fragments of an incomplete temple. At forty, sixty, is he then fully grown? No, still a child, and just like little girls dress and undress their dolls, he attempts to dress a lifeless creed as if it were alive, and changes its garments when the world cries out in shame! We smile to watch our little ones at play, so serious, so thoughtful, with maternal care managing the scraps of cloth they call their babies; does He not smile who sees us with the toys we label with sacred names, and idly pretend they are what we have called them? He remains The Father of this helpless nursery brood, whose second childhood is so closely linked to its first, that in the rushing, busy years between, we barely manage to train our senses for their tasks before the gathering mist has clouded our vision, and with our hollowed palms, we help our ears, and trace with trembling hands our wrinkled names, and then begin to tell our stories again, and see—not hear—the whispering lips that say, "You know? Your father knew him. This is he, tottering and leaning on the assistant’s arm,” and finally, stripped of all that clothed the simple life we share with weeds and worms, we return to our cradles, as naked as we came.
XI
I suppose there would have been even more remarks upon the growing intimacy of the Young Astronomer and his pupil, if the curiosity of the boarders had not in the mean time been so much excited at the apparently close relation which had sprung up between the Register of Deeds and the Lady. It was really hard to tell what to make of it. The Register appeared at the table in a new coat. Suspicious. The Lady was evidently deeply interested in him, if we could judge by the frequency and the length of their interviews. On at least one occasion he has brought a lawyer with him, which naturally suggested the idea that there were some property arrangements to be attended to, in case, as seems probable against all reasons to the contrary, these two estimable persons, so utterly unfitted, as one would say, to each other, contemplated an alliance. It is no pleasure to me to record an arrangement of this kind. I frankly confess I do not know what to make of it. With her tastes and breeding, it is the last thing that I should have thought of,—her uniting herself with this most commonplace and mechanical person, who cannot even offer her the elegances and luxuries to which she might seem entitled on changing her condition.
I guess there would have been even more comments on the growing closeness between the Young Astronomer and his pupil if the other boarders hadn't become so curious about the apparent connection between the Register of Deeds and the Lady. It was really hard to figure out what to make of it. The Register showed up at the table in a new coat. Suspicious. The Lady was clearly very interested in him, judging by how often and how long they met. On at least one occasion, he brought a lawyer with him, which naturally raised the idea that they were discussing some property arrangements, in case, against all odds, these two admirable people—who seem completely mismatched—were considering getting married. It’s not fun for me to note something like this. I honestly don't know what to think about it. With her tastes and background, it's the last thing I would have expected—her getting together with this very ordinary and mechanical guy, who can't even offer her the comforts and luxuries she might deserve after changing her situation.
While I was thus interested and puzzled I received an unexpected visit from our Landlady. She was evidently excited, and by some event which was of a happy nature, for her countenance was beaming and she seemed impatient to communicate what she had to tell. Impatient or not, she must wait a moment, while I say a word about her. Our Landlady is as good a creature as ever lived. She is a little negligent of grammar at times, and will get a wrong word now and then; she is garrulous, circumstantial, associates facts by their accidental cohesion rather than by their vital affinities, is given to choking and tears on slight occasions, but she has a warm heart, and feels to her boarders as if they were her blood-relations. She began her conversation abruptly.—I expect I'm a going to lose one of my boarders,—she said.
While I was feeling both intrigued and confused, our landlady unexpectedly paid me a visit. She looked clearly excited about something good, her face lit up, and she seemed eager to share her news. Eager or not, she had to wait a moment while I said a few words about her. Our landlady is one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. She sometimes struggles with grammar and misuses words here and there; she talks a lot, provides too many details, connects facts randomly instead of meaningfully, and tends to get choked up or emotional over little things. But she’s got a big heart and cares for her tenants like they’re family. She started the conversation out of the blue. “I think I’m about to lose one of my boarders,” she said.
—You don't seem very unhappy about it, madam,—I answered.—We all took it easily when the person who sat on our side of the table quitted us in such a hurry, but I do not think there is anybody left that either you or the boarders want to get rid of—unless it is myself,—I added modestly.
—You don’t seem very upset about it, ma’am,—I replied.—We all took it in stride when the person sitting next to us left so abruptly, but I don’t think there’s anyone left that you or the other boarders want to get rid of—unless it’s me,—I added modestly.
—You! said the Landlady—you! No indeed. When I have a quiet boarder that 's a small eater, I don't want to lose him. You don't make trouble, you don't find fault with your vit—[Dr. Benjamin had schooled his parent on this point and she altered the word] with your food, and you know when you 've had enough.
—You! said the Landlady—you! No way. When I have a quiet boarder who's a light eater, I don't want to lose him. You don't cause problems, you don't complain about your food, and you know when you've had enough.
—I really felt proud of this eulogy, which embraces the most desirable excellences of a human being in the capacity of boarder.
—I was really proud of this eulogy, which captures the best qualities of a person in the role of a boarder.
The Landlady began again.—I'm going to lose—at least, I suppose I shall—one of the best boarders I ever had,—that Lady that's been with me so long.
The Landlady started again. "I’m about to lose—at least, I think I will—one of the best boarders I’ve ever had—that lady who’s been with me for so long."
—I thought there was something going on between her and the Register,—I said.
—I thought there was something happening between her and the Register,—I said.
—Something! I should think there was! About three months ago he began making her acquaintance. I thought there was something particular. I did n't quite like to watch 'em very close; but I could n't help overbearing some of the things he said to her, for, you see, he used to follow her up into the parlor, they talked pretty low, but I could catch a word now and then. I heard him say something to her one day about “bettering her condition,” and she seemed to be thinking very hard about it, and turning of it over in her mind, and I said to myself, She does n't want to take up with him, but she feels dreadful poor, and perhaps he has been saving and has got money in the bank, and she does n't want to throw away a chance of bettering herself without thinking it over. But dear me,—says I to myself,—to think of her walking up the broad aisle into meeting alongside of such a homely, rusty-looking creatur' as that! But there 's no telling what folks will do when poverty has got hold of 'em.
—Something! I definitely think there is! About three months ago, he started getting to know her. I thought there was something special happening. I didn’t really want to spy on them too closely, but I couldn't help overhearing some of the things he said to her. You see, he used to follow her into the parlor; they kept their voices low, but I could catch a word or two now and then. One day, I heard him mention something about “bettering her situation,” and she seemed deep in thought about it, turning it over in her mind. I thought to myself, She doesn’t want to get involved with him, but she feels really poor, and maybe he’s been saving and has some money in the bank. She might not want to miss an opportunity to improve her life without considering it carefully. But oh goodness, I told myself, imagine her walking down the aisle in church next to such an unattractive, worn-out creature like that! But you never know what people will do when poverty has a hold on them.
—Well, so I thought she was waiting to make up her mind, and he was hanging on in hopes she'd come round at last, as women do half the time, for they don't know their own minds and the wind blows both ways at once with 'em as the smoke blows out of the tall chimlies,—east out of this one and west out of that,—so it's no use looking at 'em to know what the weather is.
—Well, I figured she was just taking her time to decide, and he was hanging on, hoping she’d finally come around, like women often do, because they can’t make up their minds and their feelings change as quickly as the wind blows from one chimney to another—one blowing east and the other blowing west—so it’s pointless to look to them for any clarity on what’s really going on.
—But yesterday she comes up to me after breakfast, and asks me to go up with her into her little room. Now, says I to myself, I shall hear all about it. I saw she looked as if she'd got some of her trouble off her mind, and I guessed that it was settled, and so, says I to myself, I must wish her joy and hope it's all for the best, whatever I think about it.
—But yesterday she came up to me after breakfast and asked me to go up with her into her little room. Now, I said to myself, I will finally hear all about it. I noticed she seemed like she had gotten some of her worries off her chest, and I figured that it was all figured out, so I told myself that I should wish her happiness and hope it's all for the best, no matter what I think about it.
—Well, she asked me to set down, and then she begun. She said that she was expecting to have a change in her condition of life, and had asked me up so that I might' have the first news of it. I am sure—says I—I wish you both joy. Merriage is a blessed thing when folks is well sorted, and it is an honorable thing, and the first meracle was at the merriage in Canaan. It brings a great sight of happiness with it, as I've had a chance of knowing, for my hus—
—Well, she asked me to sit down, and then she started. She said that she was expecting a change in her life situation and had invited me so I could be the first to hear about it. I'm sure—I said—I wish you both happiness. Marriage is a wonderful thing when people are well matched, and it’s an honorable thing; the first miracle was at the wedding in Canaan. It brings a lot of joy with it, as I've had the opportunity to experience, for my hus—
The Landlady showed her usual tendency to “break” from the conversational pace just at this point, but managed to rein in the rebellious diaphragm, and resumed her narrative.
The landlady showed her usual tendency to pause in the conversation at this point, but managed to control her impatience and continued with her story.
—Merriage!—says she,—pray who has said anything about merriage?—I beg your pardon, ma'am,—says I,—I thought you had spoke of changing your condition and I—She looked so I stopped right short.
—Marriage!—she says,—who mentioned anything about marriage?—I apologize, ma'am,—I say,—I thought you were talking about changing your situation and I—She gave me a look, so I stopped right there.
-Don't say another word, says she, but jest listen to what I am going to tell you.
-Don't say another word, she says, just listen to what I'm going to tell you.
—My friend, says she, that you have seen with me so often lately, was hunting among his old Record books, when all at once he come across an old deed that was made by somebody that had my family name. He took it into his head to read it over, and he found there was some kind of a condition that if it was n't kept, the property would all go back to them that was the heirs of the one that gave the deed, and that he found out was me. Something or other put it into his head, says she, that the company that owned the property—it was ever so rich a company and owned land all round everywhere—hadn't kept to the conditions. So he went to work, says she, and hunted through his books and he inquired all round, and he found out pretty much all about it, and at last he come to me—it 's my boarder, you know, that says all this—and says he, Ma'am, says he, if you have any kind of fancy for being a rich woman you've only got to say so. I didn't know what he meant, and I began to think, says she, he must be crazy. But he explained it all to me, how I'd nothing to do but go to court and I could get a sight of property back. Well, so she went on telling me—there was ever so much more that I suppose was all plain enough, but I don't remember it all—only I know my boarder was a good deal worried at first at the thought of taking money that other people thought was theirs, and the Register he had to talk to her, and he brought a lawyer and he talked to her, and her friends they talked to her, and the upshot of it all was that the company agreed to settle the business by paying her, well, I don't know just how much, but enough to make her one of the rich folks again.
—My friend, she says, the one you've seen with me a lot lately, was going through his old record books when he suddenly found an old deed made by someone with my last name. He decided to read it over and discovered there was a condition that said if it wasn't upheld, the property would revert back to the heirs of the person who issued the deed, which turned out to be me. Something led him to think, she says, that the company that owned the property—it was a super-rich company that owned land everywhere—hadn't upheld the conditions. So he got to work, she says, searched through his books, asked around, and found out almost everything about it. Eventually, he came to me—he's my tenant, you know—and said, Ma'am, if you have any desire to be a wealthy woman, you just have to let me know. I didn't understand what he meant, and I started to think, she says, he must be losing it. But he explained it all to me, how all I had to do was go to court and I could reclaim a lot of property. So she continued telling me—there was so much more, which I guess was all straightforward, but I don't remember it all—only I know my tenant was quite worried at first about taking money that other people believed was theirs. The Register had to talk to her, and he brought in a lawyer who spoke with her, and her friends talked to her too, and the end result was that the company agreed to settle the matter by paying her a sum, well, I don't know exactly how much, but enough to make her one of the wealthy people again.
I may as well add here that, as I have since learned, this is one of the most important cases of releasing right of reentry for condition broken which has been settled by arbitration for a considerable period. If I am not mistaken the Register of Deeds will get something more than a new coat out of this business, for the Lady very justly attributes her change of fortunes to his sagacity and his activity in following up the hint he had come across by mere accident.
I might as well mention here that, as I've learned since, this is one of the most significant cases regarding the release of the right of reentry for a broken condition, which has been resolved through arbitration for quite some time. If I'm not mistaken, the Register of Deeds will gain more than just a fresh coat out of this situation, as the Lady rightly credits her change in fortune to his insight and his efforts in pursuing a clue he stumbled upon by chance.
So my supernumerary fellow-boarder, whom I would have dispensed with as a cumberer of the table, has proved a ministering angel to one of the personages whom I most cared for.
So my extra housemate, who I would have liked to get rid of as a nuisance at the dining table, has turned out to be a helpful angel to one of the people I cared about the most.
One would have thought that the most scrupulous person need not have hesitated in asserting an unquestioned legal and equitable claim simply because it had lain a certain number of years in abeyance. But before the Lady could make up her mind to accept her good fortune she had been kept awake many nights in doubt and inward debate whether she should avail herself of her rights. If it had been private property, so that another person must be made poor that she should become rich, she would have lived and died in want rather than claim her own. I do not think any of us would like to turn out the possessor of a fine estate enjoyed for two or three generations on the faith of unquestioned ownership by making use of some old forgotten instrument, which accident had thrown in our way.
One would think that the most careful person wouldn’t hesitate to assert a clear legal and fair claim just because it had been inactive for a certain number of years. But before the Lady could decide to embrace her good fortune, she spent many sleepless nights filled with doubt and inner debate about whether she should claim her rights. If it had been private property, causing someone else to lose out so she could gain, she would rather have lived and died in poverty than claim what was hers. I don’t think any of us would feel good about kicking out the owner of a beautiful estate that’s been in their family for two or three generations, based on some old, forgotten document that happened to come our way.
But it was all nonsense to indulge in any sentiment in a case like this, where it was not only a right, but a duty which she owed herself and others in relation with her, to accept what Providence, as it appeared, had thrust upon her, and when no suffering would be occasioned to anybody. Common sense told her not to refuse it. So did several of her rich friends, who remembered about this time that they had not called upon her for a good while, and among them Mrs. Midas Goldenrod.
But it was pointless to get emotional in a situation like this, where it wasn't just a right, but a duty she owed to herself and others connected to her, to accept what fate had seemingly handed her, especially since it wouldn’t cause any suffering to anyone. Common sense told her not to turn it down. So did a few of her wealthy friends, who suddenly realized that it had been a while since they’d checked in on her, including Mrs. Midas Goldenrod.
Never had that lady's carriage stood before the door of our boarding-house so long, never had it stopped so often, as since the revelation which had come from the Registry of Deeds. Mrs. Midas Goldenrod was not a bad woman, but she loved and hated in too exclusive and fastidious a way to allow us to consider her as representing the highest ideal of womanhood. She hated narrow ill-ventilated courts, where there was nothing to see if one looked out of the window but old men in dressing-gowns and old women in caps; she hated little dark rooms with air-tight stoves in them; she hated rusty bombazine gowns and last year's bonnets; she hated gloves that were not as fresh as new-laid eggs, and shoes that had grown bulgy and wrinkled in service; she hated common crockeryware and teaspoons of slight constitution; she hated second appearances on the dinner-table; she hated coarse napkins and table-cloths; she hated to ride in the horsecars; she hated to walk except for short distances, when she was tired of sitting in her carriage. She loved with sincere and undisguised affection a spacious city mansion and a charming country villa, with a seaside cottage for a couple of months or so; she loved a perfectly appointed household, a cook who was up to all kinds of salmis and vol-au-vents, a French maid, and a stylish-looking coachman, and the rest of the people necessary to help one live in a decent manner; she loved pictures that other people said were first-rate, and which had at least cost first-rate prices; she loved books with handsome backs, in showy cases; she loved heavy and richly wought plate; fine linen and plenty of it; dresses from Paris frequently, and as many as could be got in without troubling the customhouse; Russia sables and Venetian point-lace; diamonds, and good big ones; and, speaking generally, she loved dear things in distinction from cheap ones, the real article and not the economical substitute.
Never had that lady's carriage parked in front of our boarding house for so long, nor had it stopped by so frequently since the news from the Registry of Deeds. Mrs. Midas Goldenrod wasn’t a bad woman, but she loved and hated in such a particular way that we couldn't see her as the ultimate example of womanhood. She loathed narrow, stuffy alleys where all you could see out the window were old men in bathrobes and old women in bonnets; she hated small, dark rooms with airtight stoves in them; she couldn’t stand shabby bombazine dresses and last year's hats; she despised gloves that weren’t as fresh as new-laid eggs, and shoes that had become baggy and wrinkled with use; she hated flimsy dishware and weak spoons; she abhorred seeing the same dishes on the dinner table again; she detested coarse napkins and tablecloths; she disliked riding in horse-drawn cars; she preferred not to walk except for short distances when she was fed up with sitting in her carriage. She genuinely and openly adored a spacious city mansion and a lovely country villa, with a beach house for a couple of months; she loved a perfectly organized household, a cook skilled in all kinds of gourmet dishes, a French maid, and a snazzy-looking coachman, plus all the staff needed to maintain a decent lifestyle; she loved artwork that others deemed top-tier and which had certainly cost a lot; she loved books with beautiful bindings, displayed in fancy cases; she loved heavy and exquisitely crafted silverware; fine linens and plenty of them; stylish Parisian dresses regularly, and as many as could fit in without causing trouble with customs; Russian sable fur and Venetian lace; diamonds, and nice big ones; and, in general, she favored expensive things over cheap ones, the real deal rather than a budget substitute.
For the life of me I cannot see anything Satanic in all this. Tell me, Beloved, only between ourselves, if some of these things are not desirable enough in their way, and if you and I could not make up our minds to put up with some of the least objectionable of them without any great inward struggle? Even in the matter of ornaments there is something to be said. Why should we be told that the New Jerusalem is paved with gold, and that its twelve gates are each of them a pearl, and that its foundations are garnished with sapphires and emeralds and all manner of precious stones, if these are not among the most desirable of objects? And is there anything very strange in the fact that many a daughter of earth finds it a sweet foretaste of heaven to wear about her frail earthly tabernacle these glittering reminders of the celestial city?
For the life of me, I can't see anything Satanic in all this. Tell me, Beloved, just between us, aren’t some of these things actually appealing in their own way? Could you and I decide to accept some of the least objectionable ones without too much internal conflict? Even when it comes to decorations, there’s something to consider. Why are we told that the New Jerusalem is paved with gold, that its twelve gates are each made of pearl, and that its foundations are adorned with sapphires and emeralds and all sorts of precious stones, if these aren’t some of the most desirable things? And is it really so strange that many women find it a delightful taste of heaven to wear these sparkling reminders of the celestial city around their delicate earthly bodies?
Mrs. Midas Goldenrod was not so entirely peculiar and anomalous in her likes and dislikes; the only trouble was that she mixed up these accidents of life too much with life itself, which is so often serenely or actively noble and happy without reference to them. She valued persons chiefly according to their external conditions, and of course the very moment her relative, the Lady of our breakfast-table, began to find herself in a streak of sunshine she came forward with a lighted candle to show her which way her path lay before her.
Mrs. Midas Goldenrod wasn't that odd or unusual in her preferences; the only issue was that she confused these circumstances of life with life itself, which often is calm or joyful on its own, regardless of them. She mainly judged people by their external situations, and of course, the very moment her relative, the Lady at our breakfast table, started to feel optimistic, she stepped in with a lit candle to guide her way.
The Lady saw all this, how plainly, how painfully! yet she exercised a true charity for the weakness of her relative. Sensible people have as much consideration for the frailties of the rich as for those of the poor. There is a good deal of excuse for them. Even you and I, philosophers and philanthropists as we may think ourselves, have a dislike for the enforced economies, proper and honorable though they certainly are, of those who are two or three degrees below us in the scale of agreeable living.
The Lady noticed everything so clearly and painfully! Yet she showed genuine kindness for her relative's weaknesses. Thoughtful people are just as understanding of the flaws of the rich as they are of the poor. They have plenty of reasons to be. Even you and I, who consider ourselves philosophers and philanthropists, have a hard time with the forced frugality—proper and honorable as it may be—of those who are a few levels below us in the scale of comfortable living.
—These are very worthy persons you have been living with, my dear, —said Mrs. Midas—[the “My dear” was an expression which had flowered out more luxuriantly than ever before in the new streak of sunshine] —eminently respectable parties, I have no question, but then we shall want you to move as soon as possible to our quarter of the town, where we can see more of you than we have been able to in this queer place.
—These are truly wonderful people you've been living with, my dear, —said Mrs. Midas—[the “My dear” was a phrase that had blossomed more than ever in the new ray of sunshine] —clearly respectable folks, I'm sure, but we really want you to move to our part of town as soon as you can, where we can see more of you than we have in this odd place.
It was not very pleasant to listen to this kind of talk, but the Lady remembered her annual bouquet, and her occasional visits from the rich lady, and restrained the inclination to remind her of the humble sphere from which she herself, the rich and patronizing personage, had worked her way up (if it was up) into that world which she seemed to think was the only one where a human being could find life worth having. Her cheek flushed a little, however, as she said to Mrs. Midas that she felt attached to the place where she had been living so long. She doubted, she was pleased to say, whether she should find better company in any circle she was like to move in than she left behind her at our boarding-house. I give the old Master the credit of this compliment. If one does not agree with half of what he says, at any rate he always has something to say, and entertains and lets out opinions and whims and notions of one kind and another that one can quarrel with if he is out of humor, or carry away to think about if he happens to be in the receptive mood.
It wasn’t very enjoyable to listen to this kind of conversation, but the Lady recalled her yearly bouquet and the occasional visits from the wealthy woman, so she held back her urge to remind her of the modest background from which she, the rich and condescending person, had worked her way up (if it was truly up) into the world that she seemed to believe was the only one where life was worth living. Her cheeks flushed a bit, though, as she told Mrs. Midas that she felt connected to the place where she had been living for so long. She was glad to say she doubted she would find better company in any circle she might enter than what she was leaving behind at our boarding house. I credit the old Master with this compliment. Even if you don’t agree with half of what he says, he always has something to say, and he entertains with opinions, whims, and ideas of all kinds that you can argue with if you're in a sour mood or ponder if you're open to it.
But the Lady expressed still more strongly the regret she should feel at leaving her young friend, our Scheherezade. I cannot wonder at this. The Young Girl has lost what little playfulness she had in the earlier months of my acquaintance with her. I often read her stories partly from my interest in her, and partly because I find merit enough in them to deserve something, better than the rough handling they got from her coarse-fibred critic, whoever he was. I see evidence that her thoughts are wandering from her task, that she has fits of melancholy, and bursts of tremulous excitement, and that she has as much as she can do to keep herself at all to her stated, inevitable, and sometimes almost despairing literary labor. I have had some acquaintance with vital phenomena of this kind, and know something of the nervous nature of young women and its “magnetic storms,” if I may borrow an expression from the physicists, to indicate the perturbations to which they are liable. She is more in need of friendship and counsel now than ever before, it seems to me, and I cannot bear to think that the Lady, who has become like a mother to her, is to leave her to her own guidance.
But the Lady expressed even more strongly how much she would regret leaving her young friend, our Scheherezade. I can’t blame her for this. The Young Girl has lost the little playfulness she had in the early days of my acquaintance with her. I often read her stories, partly out of interest in her and partly because I think they deserve better than the rough treatment they received from her harsh critic, whoever that was. I can see that her thoughts are drifting from her work, that she has moments of sadness and bursts of nervous energy, and that she struggles just to keep up with her demanding, sometimes almost hopeless literary tasks. I have some experience with such intense feelings and know a bit about the nervous nature of young women and their “magnetic storms,” if I can borrow a term from physicists to describe the disturbances they can experience. She seems to need friendship and guidance now more than ever, and I can’t bear the thought that the Lady, who has become like a mother to her, will leave her to figure it out on her own.
It is plain enough what is at the bottom of this disturbance. The astronomical lessons she has been taking have become interesting enough to absorb too much of her thoughts, and she finds them wandering to the stars or elsewhere, when they should be working quietly in the editor's harness.
It’s clear what’s causing this disruption. The astronomy lessons she’s been taking have become so interesting that they’re consuming too much of her thoughts, and she finds her mind drifting to the stars or other places when it should be focused on her work as an editor.
The Landlady has her own views on this matter which she communicated to me something as follows:
The Landlady has her own thoughts on this matter, which she shared with me in the following way:
—I don't quite like to tell folks what a lucky place my boarding-house is, for fear I should have all sorts of people crowding in to be my boarders for the sake of their chances. Folks come here poor and they go away rich. Young women come here without a friend in the world, and the next thing that happens is a gentleman steps up to 'em and says, “If you'll take me for your pardner for life, I'll give you a good home and love you ever so much besides”; and off goes my young lady-boarder into a fine three-story house, as grand as the governor's wife, with everything to make her comfortable, and a husband to care for her into the bargain. That's the way it is with the young ladies that comes to board with me, ever since the gentleman that wrote the first book that advertised my establishment (and never charged me a cent for it neither) merried the Schoolma'am. And I think but that's between you and me—that it 's going to be the same thing right over again between that young gentleman and this young girl here—if she doos n't kill herself with writing for them news papers,—it 's too bad they don't pay her more for writing her stories, for I read one of 'em that made me cry so the Doctor—my Doctor Benjamin—said, “Ma, what makes your eyes look so?” and wanted to rig a machine up and look at 'em, but I told him what the matter was, and that he needn't fix up his peeking contrivances on my account,—anyhow she's a nice young woman as ever lived, and as industrious with that pen of hers as if she was at work with a sewing-machine,—and there ain't much difference, for that matter, between sewing on shirts and writing on stories,—one way you work with your foot, and the other way you work with your fingers, but I rather guess there's more headache in the stories than there is in the stitches, because you don't have to think quite so hard while your foot's going as you do when your fingers is at work, scratch, scratch, scratch, scribble, scribble, scribble.
—I don't really like to tell people how lucky my boarding house is, because I'm afraid I'll end up with all sorts of people wanting to stay just for the chance to get ahead. People come here broke, and they leave with money. Young women arrive without a friend in the world, and before you know it, a gentleman approaches them and says, “If you'll take me as your partner for life, I'll give you a great home and love you a lot too,” and off goes my young lady-boarder into a beautiful three-story house, as impressive as the governor's wife's, with everything she needs to feel comfortable, and a husband who cares for her in the deal. That's how it goes with the young ladies who board with me, ever since the gentleman who wrote the first book that promoted my place (and never charged me a dime for it) married the schoolteacher. And I really think—just between you and me—that the same thing is going to happen again with that young gentleman and this young girl here—if she doesn’t end up exhausting herself writing for those newspapers—it’s too bad they don’t pay her more for her stories, because I read one that made me cry so much that my doctor—Doctor Benjamin—asked, “Ma, why do your eyes look like that?” and wanted to set up a machine to check them out, but I told him what was wrong, and that he didn’t need to mess with his peeking devices for my sake—anyway, she’s a lovely young woman, the nicest you could meet, and she works as hard with that pen of hers as if she were at a sewing machine—and honestly, there’s not much difference between sewing shirts and writing stories—one way you work with your foot, and the other way you work with your fingers, but I suspect there’s more stress in the stories than in the stitches, because you don’t have to think nearly as hard while your foot is moving as you do when your fingers are busy, scratch, scratch, scratch, scribble, scribble, scribble.
It occurred to me that this last suggestion of the Landlady was worth considering by the soft-handed, broadcloth-clad spouters to the laboring classes,—so called in distinction from the idle people who only contrive the machinery and discover the processes and lay out the work and draw the charts and organize the various movements which keep the world going and make it tolerable. The organ-blower works harder with his muscles, for that matter, than the organ player, and may perhaps be exasperated into thinking himself a downtrodden martyr because he does not receive the same pay for his services.
It struck me that the Landlady's last suggestion was worth considering by the well-dressed, smooth-talking speakers for the working class — a term used to set them apart from the idle folks who just design the machinery, discover the processes, plan the work, create the charts, and organize the various efforts that keep the world running and make it bearable. The organ blower actually works harder with his muscles than the organ player does and might end up feeling like a downtrodden martyr because he doesn't get paid the same for his work.
I will not pretend that it needed the Landlady's sagacious guess about the Young Astronomer and his pupil to open my eyes to certain possibilities, if not probabilities, in that direction. Our Scheherezade kept on writing her stories according to agreement, so many pages for so many dollars, but some of her readers began to complain that they could not always follow her quite so well as in her earlier efforts. It seemed as if she must have fits of absence. In one instance her heroine began as a blonde and finished as a brunette; not in consequence of the use of any cosmetic, but through simple inadvertence. At last it happened in one of her stories that a prominent character who had been killed in an early page, not equivocally, but mortally, definitively killed, done for, and disposed of, reappeared as if nothing had happened towards the close of her narrative. Her mind was on something else, and she had got two stories mixed up and sent her manuscript without having looked it over. She told this mishap to the Lady, as something she was dreadfully ashamed of and could not possibly account for. It had cost her a sharp note from the publisher, and would be as good as a dinner to some half-starved Bohemian of the critical press.
I won’t pretend that it took the Landlady’s smart guess about the Young Astronomer and his student to make me aware of certain possibilities, if not probabilities, in that direction. Our Scheherezade continued writing her stories as agreed, so many pages for so many dollars, but some of her readers started to complain that they couldn’t always keep up with her as well as they did in her earlier work. It seemed like she must have moments of distraction. In one instance, her heroine went from being a blonde to a brunette; not because of any makeup, but simply due to an oversight. Eventually, in one of her stories, a major character who had been killed on an earlier page—definitively, no doubt about it—suddenly reappeared toward the end of her tale as if nothing had happened. Her mind was on something else, and she had mixed up two stories, sending her manuscript without reviewing it. She shared this mistake with the Lady, saying it was something she was really embarrassed about and couldn’t explain at all. It had led to a stern note from the publisher and would be enough for a meal for some struggling critic in the press.
The Lady listened to all this very thoughtfully, looking at her with great tenderness, and said, “My poor child!” Not another word then, but her silence meant a good deal.
The Lady listened to all this very thoughtfully, looking at her with great tenderness, and said, “My poor child!” Not another word then, but her silence meant a lot.
When a man holds his tongue it does not signify much. But when a woman dispenses with the office of that mighty member, when she sheathes her natural weapon at a trying moment, it means that she trusts to still more formidable enginery; to tears it may be, a solvent more powerful than that with which Hannibal softened the Alpine rocks, or to the heaving bosom, the sight of which has subdued so many stout natures, or, it may be, to a sympathizing, quieting look which says “Peace, be still!” to the winds and waves of the little inland ocean, in a language that means more than speech.
When a man keeps quiet, it doesn’t mean much. But when a woman chooses not to speak at a tough moment, it shows that she’s relying on even stronger forces; maybe it’s tears, which can be more effective than the method Hannibal used to soften the Alpine rocks, or the sight of her heaving chest, which has calmed many strong people, or perhaps it’s a compassionate, calming look that says “Peace, be still!” to the turmoil around her in a way that speaks louder than words.
While these matters were going on the Master and I had many talks on many subjects. He had found me a pretty good listener, for I had learned that the best way of getting at what was worth having from him was to wind him up with a question and let him run down all of himself. It is easy to turn a good talker into an insufferable bore by contradicting him, and putting questions for him to stumble over,—that is, if he is not a bore already, as “good talkers” are apt to be, except now and then.
While all this was happening, the Master and I had a lot of conversations on various topics. He thought I was a pretty good listener because I figured out that the best way to get valuable insights from him was to start with a question and then let him go on at length. It’s easy to turn a good talker into a tedious bore by arguing with him or asking tricky questions, unless he’s already a bore, which “good talkers” can be, except for the occasional moment.
We had been discussing some knotty points one morning when he said all at once:
We were talking about some tricky issues one morning when he suddenly said:
—Come into my library with me. I want to read you some new passages from an interleaved copy of my book. You haven't read the printed part yet. I gave you a copy of it, but nobody reads a book that is given to him. Of course not. Nobody but a fool expects him to. He reads a little in it here and there, perhaps, and he cuts all the leaves if he cares enough about the writer, who will be sure to call on him some day, and if he is left alone in his library for five minutes will have hunted every corner of it until he has found the book he sent,—if it is to be found at all, which does n't always happen, if there's a penal colony anywhere in a garret or closet for typographical offenders and vagrants.
—Come into my library with me. I want to read you some new passages from an interleaved copy of my book. You haven't read the printed part yet. I gave you a copy, but nobody reads a book that’s given to them. Of course not. No one but a fool expects someone to. They read a little here and there, maybe, and they cut all the pages if they care enough about the writer, who will definitely visit them someday. If left alone in their library for five minutes, they’ll search every corner until they find the book they gave them—if it can be found at all, which doesn’t always happen, especially if there’s a hidden stash in some attic or closet for typographical offenders and drifters.
—What do you do when you receive a book you don't want, from the author?—said I.
—What do you do when you get a book you don’t want from the author?—I said.
—Give him a good-natured adjective or two if I can, and thank him, and tell him I am lying under a sense of obligation to him.
—Give him a kind word or two if I can, thank him, and let him know I feel a sense of obligation to him.
—That is as good an excuse for lying as almost any,—I said.
—That's as good a reason for lying as just about any,—I said.
—Yes, but look out for the fellows that send you a copy of their book to trap you into writing a bookseller's advertisement for it. I got caught so once, and never heard the end of it and never shall hear it.—He took down an elegantly bound volume, on opening which appeared a flourishing and eminently flattering dedication to himself.—There,—said he, what could I do less than acknowledge such a compliment in polite terms, and hope and expect the book would prove successful, and so forth and so forth? Well, I get a letter every few months from some new locality where the man that made that book is covering the fences with his placards, asking me whether I wrote that letter which he keeps in stereotype and has kept so any time these dozen or fifteen years. Animus tuus oculus, as the freshmen used to say. If her Majesty, the Queen of England, sends you a copy of her “Leaves from the Journal of Our Life in the Highlands,” be sure you mark your letter of thanks for it Private!
—Yes, but watch out for the guys who send you a copy of their book to trick you into writing a bookseller's ad for it. I fell for that once, and I never heard the end of it, and I probably never will.—He picked up a beautifully bound book, and opening it revealed a grand and overly flattering dedication to himself.—There,—he said, what could I do but acknowledge such a compliment politely and hope and expect the book would be successful, and so on and so forth? Well, I get a letter every few months from some new place where the guy who wrote that book is plastering his posters on fences, asking me if I wrote that letter he keeps on file and has used for the past dozen or so years. Animus tuus oculus, as the freshmen used to say. If her Majesty, the Queen of England, sends you a copy of her “Leaves from the Journal of Our Life in the Highlands,” make sure to mark your thank-you letter as Private!
We had got comfortably seated in his library in the mean time, and the Master had taken up his book. I noticed that every other page was left blank, and that he had written in a good deal of new matter.
We had settled comfortably in his library, and the Master had picked up his book. I noticed that every other page was blank, and he had added quite a bit of new content.
—I tell you what,—he said,—there 's so much intelligence about nowadays in books and newspapers and talk that it's mighty hard to write without getting something or other worth listening to into your essay or your volume. The foolishest book is a kind of leaky boat on a sea of wisdom; some of the wisdom will get in anyhow. Every now and then I find something in my book that seems so good to me, I can't help thinking it must have leaked in. I suppose other people discover that it came through a leak, full as soon as I do. You must write a book or two to find out how much and how little you know and have to say. Then you must read some notices of it by somebody that loves you and one or two by somebody that hates you. You 'll find yourself a very odd piece of property after you 've been through these experiences. They 're trying to the constitution; I'm always glad to hear that a friend is as well as can be expected after he 's had a book.
—I’ll tell you what,—he said,—there’s so much knowledge out there these days in books and newspapers and conversations that it’s really tough to write without putting something worth reading into your essay or book. Even the dumbest book is like a leaky boat on an ocean of wisdom; some of that wisdom is bound to sneak in. Every once in a while, I find something in my book that seems so good to me that I can’t help but think it must have slipped in somehow. I guess other people realize it came in through a leak just as quickly as I do. You have to write a book or two to understand how much and how little you really know and have to say. Then you need to read some reviews by someone who loves you and a couple by someone who can’t stand you. You’ll find yourself to be a very strange piece of work after you’ve gone through those experiences. They’re tough on the nerves; I'm always relieved to hear that a friend is doing as well as can be expected after publishing a book.
You must n't think there are no better things in these pages of mine than the ones I'm going to read you, but you may come across something here that I forgot to say when we were talking over these matters.
You shouldn't think there are no better things in my pages than the ones I'm about to read to you, but you might find something here that I forgot to mention when we were discussing these topics.
He began, reading from the manuscript portion of his book:
He started reading from the manuscript part of his book:
—We find it hard to get and to keep any private property in thought. Other people are all the time saying the same things we are hoarding to say when we get ready. [He looked up from his book just here and said, “Don't be afraid, I am not going to quote Pereant.“] One of our old boarders—the one that called himself “The Professor” I think it was—said some pretty audacious things about what he called “pathological piety,” as I remember, in one of his papers. And here comes along Mr. Galton, and shows in detail from religious biographies that “there is a frequent correlation between an unusually devout disposition and a weak constitution.” Neither of them appeared to know that John Bunyan had got at the same fact long before them. He tells us, “The more healthy the lusty man is, the more prone he is unto evil.” If the converse is true, no wonder that good people, according to Bunyan, are always in trouble and terror, for he says,
—It's tough to claim and hold onto any private thoughts. Other people constantly express the same ideas we’re saving to share when we’re ready. [He looked up from his book at this point and said, “Don't worry, I’m not going to quote Pereant.”] One of our old boarders—the one who called himself “The Professor,” I think—made some pretty bold statements about what he referred to as “pathological piety,” if I remember correctly, in one of his papers. Then Mr. Galton comes along and shows in detail from religious biographies that “there’s often a connection between an unusually devout nature and a weak constitution.” Neither of them seemed to realize that John Bunyan had already pointed out the same thing long before them. He tells us, “The healthier the strong man is, the more likely he is to evil.” If the opposite is true, no wonder that good people, according to Bunyan, are always in trouble and fear, for he says,
“A Christian man is never long at ease; When one fright is gone, another doth him seize.”
“A Christian man is never comfortable for long; When one fear is gone, another takes its place.”
If invalidism and the nervous timidity which is apt to go with it are elements of spiritual superiority, it follows that pathology and toxicology should form a most important part of a theological education, so that a divine might know how to keep a parish in a state of chronic bad health in order that it might be virtuous.
If being disabled and the anxiety that often comes with it are signs of spiritual superiority, it makes sense that studying diseases and toxins should be a crucial part of a theological education. This way, a minister could learn how to keep a congregation in a constant state of poor health so that it can be virtuous.
It is a great mistake to think that a man's religion is going to rid him of his natural qualities. “Bishop Hall” (as you may remember to have seen quoted elsewhere) “prefers Nature before Grace in the Election of a wife, because, saith he, it will be a hard Task, where the Nature is peevish and froward, for Grace to make an entire conquest while Life lasteth.”
It’s a big mistake to believe that a person’s religion will change their natural traits. “Bishop Hall” (as you may recall from other sources) “prefers Nature over Grace when choosing a wife, because, as he says, it’s a tough challenge for Grace to completely overcome a peevish and stubborn Nature for the rest of their lives.”
“Nature” and “Grace” have been contrasted with each other in a way not very respectful to the Divine omnipotence. Kings and queens reign “by the Grace of God,” but a sweet, docile, pious disposition, such as is born in some children and grows up with them,—that congenital gift which good Bishop Hall would look for in a wife,—is attributed to “Nature.” In fact “Nature” and “Grace,” as handled by the scholastics, are nothing more nor less than two hostile Divinities in the Pantheon of post-classical polytheism.
“Nature” and “Grace” have been compared to each other in a way that doesn’t show much respect for God’s all-powerful nature. Kings and queens rule “by the Grace of God,” but a kind, gentle, faithful nature, which some children are born with and carry into adulthood—that innate gift that good Bishop Hall would seek in a wife—is linked to “Nature.” In reality, “Nature” and “Grace,” as discussed by the scholastics, are simply two opposing deities in the pantheon of post-classical polytheism.
What is the secret of the profound interest which “Darwinism” has excited in the minds and hearts of more persons than dare to confess their doubts and hopes? It is because it restores “Nature” to its place as a true divine manifestation. It is that it removes the traditional curse from that helpless infant lying in its mother's arms. It is that it lifts from the shoulders of man the responsibility for the fact of death. It is that, if it is true, woman can no longer be taunted with having brought down on herself the pangs which make her sex a martyrdom. If development upward is the general law of the race; if we have grown by natural evolution out of the cave-man, and even less human forms of life, we have everything to hope from the future. That the question can be discussed without offence shows that we are entering on a new era, a Revival greater than that of Letters, the Revival of Humanity.
What is the secret behind the deep interest that “Darwinism” has stirred in the minds and hearts of more people than are willing to admit their doubts and hopes? It’s because it puts “Nature” back in its rightful place as a genuine divine expression. It takes away the traditional blame from that defenseless baby in its mother's arms. It lifts the burden of mortality from humanity's shoulders. It means that, if it’s true, women can no longer be blamed for the suffering that makes their gender feel like a martyrdom. If upward development is the overall rule of our species; if we have evolved naturally from cavemen and even earlier forms of life, then we have a lot to look forward to in the future. The fact that this topic can be discussed openly shows we are entering a new era, a Revival greater than the Renaissance of Literature, the Revival of Humanity.
The prevalent view of “Nature” has been akin to that which long reigned with reference to disease. This used to be considered as a distinct entity apart from the processes of life, of which it is one of the manifestations. It was a kind of demon to be attacked with things of odious taste and smell; to be fumigated out of the system as the evil spirit was driven from the bridal-chamber in the story of Tobit. The Doctor of earlier days, even as I can remember him, used to exorcise the demon of disease with recipes of odor as potent as that of the angel's diabolifuge,—the smoke from a fish's heart and liver, duly burned,—“the which smell when the evil spirit had smelled he fled into the uttermost parts of Egypt.” The very moment that disease passes into the category of vital processes, and is recognized as an occurrence absolutely necessary, inevitable, and as one may say, normal under certain given conditions of constitution and circumstance, the medicine-man loses his half-miraculous endowments. The mythical serpent is untwined from the staff of Esculapius, which thenceforth becomes a useful walking-stick, and does not pretend to be anything more.
The common perception of “Nature” has been similar to how disease was once viewed. It used to be seen as a separate entity from the processes of life, of which it is one expression. Disease was treated like a demon to be attacked with unpleasant tastes and smells; it was fumigated out of the system similar to how the evil spirit was driven from the bridal chamber in the story of Tobit. The doctor of earlier times, as I can recall, would exorcise the demon of disease with remedies that smelled as strong as the angel's miracle cure — the smoke from a fish’s heart and liver, burned just right — “the smell of which, when the evil spirit inhaled, he fled to the farthest parts of Egypt.” Once disease is understood as part of vital processes and recognized as a necessary, inevitable occurrence that can be considered normal under certain conditions, the medicine man loses his half-miraculous powers. The mythical serpent is untwined from the staff of Esculapius, which then simply becomes a practical walking stick, no longer claiming to be anything more.
Sin, like disease, is a vital process. It is a function, and not an entity. It must be studied as a section of anthropology. No preconceived idea must be allowed to interfere with our investigation of the deranged spiritual function, any more than the old ideas of demoniacal possession must be allowed to interfere with our study of epilepsy. Spiritual pathology is a proper subject for direct observation and analysis, like any other subject involving a series of living actions.
Sin, like illness, is an essential process. It’s a function, not a thing. It should be examined as part of anthropology. No preconceived notions should get in the way of our exploration of the disturbed spiritual function, just as the old beliefs about demonic possession shouldn't hinder our study of epilepsy. Spiritual pathology is a valid topic for direct observation and analysis, just like any other topic that involves a series of living actions.
In these living actions everything is progressive. There are sudden changes of character in what is called “conversion” which, at first, hardly seem to come into line with the common laws of evolution. But these changes have been long preparing, and it is just as much in the order of nature that certain characters should burst all at once from the rule of evil propensities, as it is that the evening primrose should explode, as it were, into bloom with audible sound, as you may read in Keats's Endymion, or observe in your own garden.
In these living actions, everything is about progress. There are sudden changes in character during what is called “conversion,” which at first seem out of sync with the usual laws of evolution. But these changes have been a long time coming, and it’s just as natural for certain characters to break free from their bad tendencies all at once as it is for the evening primrose to burst into bloom with a noticeable sound, as you can read in Keats's Endymion or see in your own garden.
There is a continual tendency in men to fence in themselves and a few of their neighbors who agree with them in their ideas, as if they were an exception to their race. We must not allow any creed or religion whatsoever to confiscate to its own private use and benefit the virtues which belong to our common humanity. The Good Samaritan helped his wounded neighbor simply because he was a suffering fellow-creature. Do you think your charitable act is more acceptable than the Good Samaritan's, because you do it in the name of Him who made the memory of that kind man immortal? Do you mean that you would not give the cup of cold water for the sake simply and solely of the poor, suffering fellow-mortal, as willingly as you now do, professing to give it for the sake of Him who is not thirsty or in need of any help of yours? We must ask questions like this, if we are to claim for our common nature what belongs to it.
There’s a constant tendency for people to surround themselves with just a few neighbors who share their beliefs, as if they’re somehow different from everyone else. We shouldn't let any belief or religion take for itself the virtues that belong to all of humanity. The Good Samaritan helped his injured neighbor simply because he was another suffering human being. Do you think your act of kindness is more admirable than the Good Samaritan’s just because you do it in the name of the one who made that compassionate man memorable? Are you saying you wouldn’t give a cup of cold water purely for the sake of a poor, suffering fellow human as willingly as you do now, claiming to do it for the sake of someone who doesn't thirst or need your help? We need to ask these questions if we want to claim what rightfully belongs to our shared humanity.
The scientific study of man is the most difficult of all branches of knowledge. It requires, in the first place, an entire new terminology to get rid of that enormous load of prejudices with which every term applied to the malformations, the functional disturbances, and the organic diseases of the moral nature is at present burdened. Take that one word Sin, for instance: all those who have studied the subject from nature and not from books know perfectly well that a certain fraction of what is so called is nothing more or less than a symptom of hysteria; that another fraction is the index of a limited degree of insanity; that still another is the result of a congenital tendency which removes the act we sit in judgment upon from the sphere of self-determination, if not entirely, at least to such an extent that the subject of the tendency cannot be judged by any normal standard.
The scientific study of humanity is the most challenging of all knowledge fields. It demands, first and foremost, a completely new vocabulary to rid itself of the massive weight of biases that every term related to moral flaws, functional issues, and organic diseases currently carries. Take the word "Sin," for example: anyone who has explored this topic through observation rather than just books understands that part of what is labeled as sin is simply a symptom of hysteria; another part indicates a mild level of insanity; and yet another aspect stems from an inherited tendency that removes the actions we judge from the realm of self-control, if not entirely, then at least to a degree where the person exhibiting the tendency cannot be assessed by any normal standard.
To study nature without fear is possible, but without reproach, impossible. The man who worships in the temple of knowledge must carry his arms with him as our Puritan fathers had to do when they gathered in their first rude meeting-houses. It is a fearful thing to meddle with the ark which holds the mysteries of creation. I remember that when I was a child the tradition was whispered round among us little folks that if we tried to count the stars we should drop down dead. Nevertheless, the stars have been counted and the astronomer has survived. This nursery legend is the child's version of those superstitions which would have strangled in their cradles the young sciences now adolescent and able to take care of themselves, and which, no longer daring to attack these, are watching with hostile aspect the rapid growth of the comparatively new science of man.
To study nature without fear is possible, but without criticism, it’s impossible. The person who seeks knowledge must be armed like our Puritan ancestors when they gathered in their basic meeting houses. It's a daunting task to engage with the deep mysteries of creation. I remember as a child, we often heard the whispered belief that if we tried to count the stars, we would drop dead. Yet, the stars have been counted, and the astronomers have lived on. This childhood tale reflects the superstitions that could have stifled the young sciences, which are now mature and capable of standing on their own, and which, no longer able to challenge these, are now watching with a wary eye as the relatively new science of humanity rapidly develops.
The real difficulty of the student of nature at this time is to reconcile absolute freedom and perfect fearlessness with that respect for the past, that reverence, for the spirit of reverence wherever we find it, that tenderness for the weakest fibres by which the hearts of our fellow-creatures hold to their religious convictions, which will make the transition from old belief to a larger light and liberty an interstitial change and not a violent mutilation.
The real challenge for anyone studying nature today is to balance complete freedom and total fearlessness with a respect for the past, a reverence for the spirit of reverence wherever we encounter it, and a compassion for the delicate threads that hold our fellow beings to their religious beliefs. This approach will ensure that moving from old beliefs to a broader understanding and freedom feels like a gradual transformation rather than a harsh break.
I remember once going into a little church in a small village some miles from a great European capital. The special object of adoration in this humblest of places of worship was a bambino, a holy infant, done in wax, and covered with cheap ornaments such as a little girl would like to beautify her doll with. Many a good Protestant of the old Puritan type would have felt a strong impulse to seize this “idolatrous” figure and dash it to pieces on the stone floor of the little church. But one must have lived awhile among simple-minded pious Catholics to know what this poor waxen image and the whole baby-house of bambinos mean for a humble, unlettered, unimaginative peasantry. He will find that the true office of this eidolon is to fix the mind of the worshipper, and that in virtue of the devotional thoughts it has called forth so often for so many years in the mind of that poor old woman who is kneeling before it, it is no longer a wax doll for her, but has undergone a transubstantiation quite as real as that of the Eucharist. The moral is that we must not roughly smash other people's idols because we know, or think we know, that they are of cheap human manufacture.
I remember once walking into a little church in a small village a few miles from a major European city. The focal point of worship in this humble place was a wax figure of a baby, adorned with inexpensive decorations that a little girl would use to dress up her doll. Many traditional Protestants would have felt a strong urge to take this “idolatrous” figure and smash it on the stone floor of the church. But one has to spend time among simple, devout Catholics to understand what this wax image and the entire setup of baby figures mean for a humble, illiterate, and unimaginative farming community. They discover that the real purpose of this figure is to capture the worshipper's attention, and because of the prayers it has inspired over the years in the mind of that poor old woman kneeling before it, it is no longer just a wax doll for her; it has undergone a transformation as real as that of the Eucharist. The lesson is that we shouldn't carelessly destroy other people's idols just because we know, or think we know, that they are made by human hands.
—Do you think cheap manufactures encourage idleness?—said I.
—Do you think low-cost products promote laziness?—I asked.
The Master stared. Well he might, for I had been getting a little drowsy, and wishing to show that I had been awake and attentive, asked a question suggested by some words I had caught, but which showed that I had not been taking the slightest idea from what he was reading me. He stared, shook his head slowly, smiled good-humoredly, took off his great round spectacles, and shut up his book.
The Master stared. No wonder, since I had been feeling a bit drowsy, and to prove that I was awake and paying attention, I asked a question based on some words I had caught, but it was clear I hadn’t grasped a single thing from what he was reading to me. He stared, shook his head slowly, smiled kindly, took off his big round glasses, and closed his book.
—Sat prates biberunt,—he said. A sick man that gets talking about himself, a woman that gets talking about her baby, and an author that begins reading out of his own book, never know when to stop. You'll think of some of these things you've been getting half asleep over by and by. I don't want you to believe anything I say; I only want you to try to see what makes me believe it.
—They drank it, he said. A sick person who starts talking about themselves, a woman who talks about her baby, and an author who begins reading from their own book never know when to stop. Eventually, you'll reflect on some of these things that have been putting you to sleep. I don't want you to take anything I say at face value; I just want you to understand what makes me believe it.
My young friend, the Astronomer, has, I suspect, been making some addition to his manuscript. At any rate some of the lines he read us in the afternoon of this same day had never enjoyed the benefit of my revision, and I think they had but just been written. I noticed that his manner was somewhat more excited than usual, and his voice just towards the close a little tremulous. Perhaps I may attribute his improvement to the effect of my criticisms, but whatever the reason, I think these lines are very nearly as correct as they would have been if I had looked them over.
My young friend, the Astronomer, I suspect, has added some content to his manuscript. Anyway, some of the lines he read to us that afternoon had never been revised by me, and I think they had just been written. I noticed that he seemed a bit more excited than usual, and his voice was slightly shaky toward the end. I might credit his improvement to my feedback, but whatever the reason, I believe these lines are almost as polished as they would have been if I had gone over them.
WIND-CLOUDS AND STAR-DRIFTS. VII What if a soul redeemed, a spirit that loved While yet on earth and was beloved in turn, And still remembered every look and tone Of that dear earthly sister who was left Among the unwise virgins at the gate, Itself admitted with the bridegroom's train, What if this spirit redeemed, amid the host Of chanting angels, in some transient lull Of the eternal anthem, heard the cry Of its lost darling, whom in evil hour Some wilder pulse of nature led astray And left an outcast in a world of fire, Condemned to be the sport of cruel fiends, Sleepless, unpitying, masters of the skill To wring the maddest ecstasies of pain From worn-out souls that only ask to die, Would it not long to leave the bliss of Heaven, Bearing a little water in its hand To moisten those poor lips that plead in vain With Him we call our Father? Or is all So changed in such as taste celestial joy They hear unmoved the endless wail of woe, The daughter in the same dear tones that hushed Her cradled slumbers; she who once had held A babe upon her bosom from its voice Hoarse with its cry of anguish, yet the same? No! not in ages when the Dreadful Bird Stamped his huge footprints, and the Fearful Beast Strode with the flesh about those fossil bones We build to mimic life with pygmy hands, Not in those earliest days when men ran wild And gashed each other with their knives of stone, When their low foreheads bulged in ridgy brows And their flat hands were callous in the palm With walking in the fashion of their sires, Grope as they might to find a cruel god To work their will on such as human wrath Had wrought its worst to torture, and had left With rage unsated, white and stark and cold, Could hate have shaped a demon more malign Than him the dead men mummied in their creed And taught their trembling children to adore! Made in his image! Sweet and gracious souls Dear to my heart by nature's fondest names, Is not your memory still the precious mould That lends its form to Him who hears my prayer? Thus only I behold him, like to them, Long-suffering, gentle, ever slow to wrath, If wrath it be that only wounds to heal, Ready to meet the wanderer ere he reach The door he seeks, forgetful of his sin, Longing to clasp him in a father's arms, And seal his pardon with a pitying tear! Four gospels tell their story to mankind, And none so full of soft, caressing words That bring the Maid of Bethlehem and her Babe Before our tear-dimmed eyes, as his who learned In the meek service of his gracious art The tones which like the medicinal balms That calm the sufferer's anguish, soothe our souls. —Oh that the loving woman, she who sat So long a listener at her Master's feet, Had left us Mary's Gospel,—all she heard Too sweet, too subtle for the ear of man! Mark how the tender-hearted mothers read The messages of love between the lines Of the same page that loads the bitter tongue Of him who deals in terror as his trade With threatening words of wrath that scorch like flame! They tell of angels whispering round the bed Of the sweet infant smiling in its dream, Of lambs enfolded in the Shepherd's arms, Of Him who blessed the children; of the land Where crystal rivers feed unfading flowers, Of cities golden-paved with streets of pearl, Of the white robes the winged creatures wear, The crowns and harps from whose melodious strings One long, sweet anthem flows forevermore! —We too bad human mothers, even as Thou, Whom we have learned to worship as remote From mortal kindred, wast a cradled babe. The milk of woman filled our branching veins, She lulled us with her tender nursery-song, And folded round us her untiring arms, While the first unremembered twilight year Shaped us to conscious being; still we feel Her pulses in our own,—too faintly feel; Would that the heart of woman warmed our creeds! Not from the sad-eyed hermit's lonely cell, Not from the conclave where the holy men Glare on each other, as with angry eyes They battle for God's glory and their own, Till, sick of wordy strife, a show of hands Fixes the faith of ages yet unborn, Ah, not from these the listening soul can hear The Father's voice that speaks itself divine! Love must be still our Master; till we learn What he can teach us of a woman's heart, We know not His, whose love embraces all.
WIND-CLOUDS AND STAR-DRIFTS. VII What if a soul that found redemption, a spirit that loved While still on earth and was loved back, And still remembers every look and tone Of that dear earthly sister left Among the foolish virgins at the gate, Itself welcomed with the bridegroom's procession, What if this redeemed spirit, among the throng Of singing angels, in a brief pause Of the endless anthem, heard the cry Of its lost darling, whom in a moment of weakness Some wild urge of nature led astray And left an outcast in a world of fire, Condemned to be toyed with by cruel demons, Sleepless, unfeeling, experts in the art Of drawing the greatest anguish From weary souls that only wish to die, Would it not long to leave the happiness of Heaven, Carrying a little water in its hand To soothe those poor lips that plead in vain With Him we call our Father? Or is everything So different for those who experience heavenly joy That they remain unmoved by the endless cries of sorrow, The daughter in the same dear tones that once calmed Her quiet sleep; she who once held A baby at her breast who cried out in agony, yet still the same? No! Not in ages when the Terrible Bird Left its huge footprints, and the Fearsome Beast Roamed with flesh around those fossil bones We try to recreate life with our tiny hands, Not in those primitive days when people ran wild And wounded each other with their stone knives, When their low foreheads bulged with ridged brows And their flat hands were calloused from walking In the ways of their ancestors, Groping to find a cruel god To bend to their will on those whom human rage Had tormented, leaving them White, cold, and stark, Could hate have formed a demon more evil Than the one the dead men mummified in their beliefs And taught their trembling children to worship! Made in his image! Sweet and kind souls Precious to me by nature's tenderest names, Is not your memory still the valuable mold That shapes Him who hears my prayer? Thus only do I see him, like them, Patient, gentle, always slow to get angry, If anger it is that only wounds to heal, Ready to meet the wanderer before he reaches The door he seeks, forgetting his sin, Eager to embrace him in a father’s arms, And seal his pardon with a tear of compassion! Four gospels share their story with humankind, And none so filled with soft, soothing words That bring the Maid of Bethlehem and her Babe Before our tear-streaked eyes, as his who learned In the humble service of his gracious art The tones that like soothing balms Calm the sufferer's pain and soothe our spirits. —Oh that the loving woman, who sat So long listening at her Master’s feet, Had left us Mary’s Gospel,—all she heard Too sweet, too subtle for man’s ear! Notice how the tender-hearted mothers read The messages of love between the lines Of the same page that burdens the bitter tongue Of him who trades in terror With threatening words of wrath that burn like fire! They tell of angels whispering around the bed Of the sweet baby smiling in its dream, Of lambs held in the Shepherd’s arms, Of Him who blessed the children; of the land Where clear rivers nourish everlasting flowers, Of cities with golden-paved streets of pearl, Of the white robes the winged creatures wear, The crowns and harps from whose melodious strings One long, sweet anthem flows forever! —We too, flawed human mothers, just like You, Whom we have learned to worship as separate From human kin, were once cradled babies. A woman’s milk filled our branching veins, She lulled us with her gentle lullabies, And wrapped us in her tireless arms, While the first unremembered twilight year Shaped us into conscious life; still we feel Her heartbeat within our own,—too faintly feel; Would that the heart of a woman warmed our beliefs! Not from the sad-eyed hermit’s lonely cell, Not from the gathering where the holy men Stare at each other with angry eyes As they fight for God’s glory and their own, Until, weary of wordy battles, a show of hands Determines the faith of ages yet to come, Ah, not from these can the listening soul hear The Father’s voice that speaks divinely! Love must still be our Master; until we learn What he can teach us about a woman's heart, We do not know His, whose love embraces all.
There are certain nervous conditions peculiar to women in which the common effects of poetry and of music upon their sensibilities are strangely exaggerated. It was not perhaps to be wondered at that Octavia fainted when Virgil in reading from his great poem came to the line beginning Tu Marcellus eris: It is not hard to believe the story told of one of the two Davidson sisters, that the singing of some of Moore's plaintive melodies would so impress her as almost to take away the faculties of sense and motion. But there must have been some special cause for the singular nervous state into which this reading threw the young girl, our Scheherezade. She was doubtless tired with overwork and troubled with the thought that she was not doing herself justice, and that she was doomed to be the helpless prey of some of those corbies who not only pick out corbies' eyes, but find no other diet so nutritious and agreeable.
There are certain nervous conditions unique to women where the usual effects of poetry and music on their emotions are strangely heightened. It’s not surprising that Octavia fainted when Virgil read the line starting with Tu Marcellus eris. It’s also easy to believe the story about one of the Davidson sisters, who would be so moved by Moore's sad songs that it nearly left her without sense or motion. However, there must have been something specific that caused this unusual nervous state in the young girl, our Scheherezade. She was likely exhausted from overworking and worried that she wasn’t doing herself justice, feeling as though she was destined to become the helpless target of those crows who not only peck out each other’s eyes but find nothing else as tasty and satisfying.
Whatever the cause may have been, her heart heaved tumultuously, her color came and went, and though she managed to avoid a scene by the exercise of all her self-control, I watched her very anxiously, for I was afraid she would have had a hysteric turn, or in one of her pallid moments that she would have fainted and fallen like one dead before us.
Whatever the cause, her heart raced wildly, her complexion kept changing, and even though she managed to keep it together and avoid a scene, I watched her nervously because I was worried she might have a hysterical episode or, during one of her pale moments, faint and collapse like someone who had died right in front of us.
I was very glad, therefore, when evening came, to find that she was going out for a lesson on the stars. I knew the open air was what she needed, and I thought the walk would do her good, whether she made any new astronomical acquisitions or not.
I was really happy when evening came and saw that she was going out for a lesson about the stars. I knew she needed some fresh air, and I figured the walk would be good for her, whether she learned anything new about astronomy or not.
It was now late in the autumn, and the trees were pretty nearly stripped of their leaves.—There was no place so favorable as the Common for the study of the heavens. The skies were brilliant with stars, and the air was just keen enough to remind our young friends that the cold season was at hand. They wandered round for a while, and at last found themselves under the Great Elm, drawn thither, no doubt, by the magnetism it is so well known to exert over the natives of its own soil and those who have often been under the shadow of its outstretched arms. The venerable survivor of its contemporaries that flourished in the days when Blackstone rode beneath it on his bull was now a good deal broken by age, yet not without marks of lusty vitality. It had been wrenched and twisted and battered by so many scores of winters that some of its limbs were crippled and many of its joints were shaky, and but for the support of the iron braces that lent their strong sinews to its more infirm members it would have gone to pieces in the first strenuous northeaster or the first sudden and violent gale from the southwest. But there it stood, and there it stands as yet,—though its obituary was long ago written after one of the terrible storms that tore its branches,—leafing out hopefully in April as if it were trying in its dumb language to lisp “Our Father,” and dropping its slender burden of foliage in October as softly as if it were whispering Amen!
It was late autumn, and the trees were almost completely bare. The Common was the best spot for stargazing. The skies were filled with bright stars, and the air was just crisp enough to remind our young friends that winter was coming. They wandered around for a bit and eventually found themselves under the Great Elm, drawn there, no doubt, by its well-known ability to attract both locals and those who often spent time in its shade. The ancient tree, a survivor from the days when Blackstone rode beneath it on his bull, was significantly worn by age, yet still showed signs of strong vitality. It had endured so many harsh winters that some of its branches were crippled, and many of its joints were unstable, but without the support of the iron braces that helped its weaker parts, it would have fallen apart during the first fierce storm from the northeast or the first violent gust from the southwest. But there it stood, and it still stands today—though its obituary was written long ago after one of the terrible storms that broke its branches—leafing out hopefully in April as if trying to whisper “Our Father,” and dropping its delicate leaves in October as softly as if it were saying Amen!
Not far from the ancient and monumental tree lay a small sheet of water, once agile with life and vocal with evening melodies, but now stirred only by the swallow as he dips his wing, or by the morning bath of the English sparrows, those high-headed, thick-bodied, full-feeding, hot-tempered little John Bulls that keep up such a swashing and swabbing and spattering round all the water basins, one might think from the fuss they make about it that a bird never took a bath here before, and that they were the missionaries of ablution to the unwashed Western world.
Not far from the ancient, impressive tree lay a small body of water, once lively with creatures and filled with evening sounds, but now disturbed only by the swallow dipping its wing or by the morning splash of the English sparrows—those proud, chunky, well-fed, feisty little John Bulls. With all the commotion they create around the water basins, you might think a bird had never bathed there before and that they were the pioneers of cleanliness for the unwashed Western world.
There are those who speak lightly of this small aqueous expanse, the eye of the sacred enclosure, which has looked unwinking on the happy faces of so many natives and the curious features of so many strangers. The music of its twilight minstrels has long ceased, but their memory lingers like an echo in the name it bears. Cherish it, inhabitants of the two-hilled city, once three-hilled; ye who have said to the mountain, “Remove hence,” and turned the sea into dry land! May no contractor fill his pockets by undertaking to fill thee, thou granite girdled lakelet, or drain the civic purse by drawing off thy waters! For art thou not the Palladium of our Troy? Didst thou not, like the Divine image which was the safeguard of Ilium, fall from the skies, and if the Trojan could look with pride upon the heaven-descended form of the Goddess of Wisdom, cannot he who dwells by thy shining oval look in that mirror and contemplate Himself,—the Native of Boston.
There are those who casually talk about this small body of water, the center of the sacred area, which has watched without blinking the joyful faces of so many locals and the curious features of so many visitors. The music of its evening performers has long stopped, but their memory lingers like an echo in its name. Treasure it, residents of the two-hilled city, once three-hilled; you who have told the mountain, "Move away," and transformed the sea into dry land! May no contractor profit by trying to fill you, you granite-bordered little lake, or drain the city’s funds by taking away your waters! For aren't you the Palladium of our Troy? Didn't you, like the divine image that protected Ilium, fall from the sky, and if the Trojan could take pride in the goddess of wisdom who descended from heaven, can’t anyone who lives by your shining oval look in that mirror and see himself—the Native of Boston?
There must be some fatality which carries our young men and maidens in the direction of the Common when they have anything very particular to exchange their views about. At any rate I remember two of our young friends brought up here a good many years ago, and I understand that there is one path across the enclosure which a young man must not ask a young woman to take with him unless he means business, for an action will hold—for breach of promise, if she consents to accompany him, and he chooses to forget his obligations:
There seems to be some fate that draws our young men and women to the Common whenever they have something important to discuss. Anyway, I remember two of our young friends who grew up here many years ago, and I've heard that there's one path across the field that a young man shouldn't invite a young woman to walk with him unless he's serious, because an action could be taken for breach of promise if she agrees to go with him and he decides to back out of his commitments.
Our two young people stood at the western edge of the little pool, studying astronomy in the reflected firmament. The Pleiades were trembling in the wave before them, and the three great stars of Orion,—for these constellations were both glittering in the eastern sky.
Our two young people stood at the west side of the small pool, looking at the stars reflected in the water. The Pleiades shimmered in the wave in front of them, and the three bright stars of Orion were also visible, both constellations sparkling in the eastern sky.
“There is no place too humble for the glories of heaven to shine in,” she said.
“There’s no place too humble for the beauty of heaven to shine in,” she said.
“And their splendor makes even this little pool beautiful and noble,” he answered. “Where is the light to come from that is to do as much for our poor human lives?”
“And their splendor makes even this little pool look beautiful and grand,” he replied. “Where is the light going to come from that can do as much for our struggling human lives?”
A simple question enough, but the young girl felt her color change as she answered, “From friendship, I think.”
A simple question, but the young girl felt her cheeks flush as she replied, “I think it’s from friendship.”
—Grazing only as-yet,—not striking full, hardly hitting at all,—but there are questions and answers that come so very near, the wind of them alone almost takes the breath away.
—Grazing only as-yet,—not fully engaging, hardly hitting at all,—but there are questions and answers that come so close, the force of them alone almost takes the breath away.
There was an interval of silence. Two young persons can stand looking at water for a long time without feeling the necessity of speaking. Especially when the water is alive with stars and the young persons are thoughtful and impressible. The water seems to do half the thinking while one is looking at it; its movements are felt in the brain very much like thought. When I was in full training as a flaneur, I could stand on the Pont Neuf with the other experts in the great science of passive cerebration and look at the river for half an hour with so little mental articulation that when I moved on it seemed as if my thinking-marrow had been asleep and was just waking up refreshed after its nap.
There was a period of silence. Two young people can stand by the water for a long time without feeling the need to talk. Especially when the water is sparkling with stars and the young people are reflective and sensitive. The water seems to do half the thinking while you watch it; its movements resonate in the mind much like thoughts do. When I was fully immersed in being a flaneur, I could stand on the Pont Neuf with other pros in the art of passive contemplation and gaze at the river for half an hour with so little mental engagement that when I finally moved on, it felt like my thinking had been dormant and was just waking up, refreshed from a nap.
So the reader can easily account for the interval of silence. It is hard to tell how long it would have lasted, but just then a lubberly intrusive boy threw a great stone, which convulsed the firmament, the one at their feet, I mean. The six Pleiads disappeared as if in search of their lost sister; the belt of Orion was broken asunder, and a hundred worlds dissolved back into chaos. They turned away and strayed off into one of the more open paths, where the view of the sky over them was unobstructed. For some reason or other the astronomical lesson did not get on very fast this evening.
So the reader can easily understand the period of silence. It's hard to say how long it might have lasted, but just then a clumsy, meddlesome kid threw a big rock, which shook the ground beneath them. The six Pleiads vanished as if searching for their missing sister; the belt of Orion was torn apart, and a hundred worlds faded back into chaos. They turned away and wandered off into one of the more open paths, where the sky above them was clear. For some reason, the astronomy lesson wasn’t progressing very quickly that evening.
Presently the young man asked his pupil:
Presently, the young man asked his student:
—Do you know what the constellation directly over our heads is?
—Do you know what the constellation right above us is?
—Is it not Cassiopea?—she asked a little hesitatingly.
—Is it not Cassiopeia?—she asked a bit uncertainly.
—No, it is Andromeda. You ought not to have forgotten her, for I remember showing you a double star, the one in her right foot, through the equatorial telescope. You have not forgotten the double star,—the two that shone for each other and made a little world by themselves?
—No, it’s Andromeda. You shouldn’t have forgotten her, because I remember showing you a double star, the one in her right foot, through the equatorial telescope. You haven’t forgotten the double star—the two that shined for each other and created a little world of their own?
—No, indeed,—she answered, and blushed, and felt ashamed because she had said indeed, as if it had been an emotional recollection.
—No, really,—she replied, blushing and feeling embarrassed because she had said really, as if it had been an emotional memory.
The double-star allusion struck another dead silence. She would have given a week's pay to any invisible attendant that would have cut her stay-lace.
The mention of the double star fell into another dead silence. She would have paid a week's salary to any unseen helper who would cut her stay-lace.
At last: Do you know the story of Andromeda? he said.
At last: Do you know the story of Andromeda? he asked.
—Perhaps I did once, but suppose I don't remember it.
—Maybe I did once, but what if I don’t remember it.
He told her the story of the unfortunate maiden chained to a rock and waiting for a sea-beast that was coming to devour her, and how Perseus came and set her free, and won her love with her life. And then he began something about a young man chained to his rock, which was a star-gazer's tower, a prey by turns to ambition, and lonely self-contempt and unwholesome scorn of the life he looked down upon after the serenity of the firmament, and endless questionings that led him nowhere,—and now he had only one more question to ask. He loved her. Would she break his chain?—He held both his hands out towards her, the palms together, as if they were fettered at the wrists. She took hold of them very gently; parted them a little; then wider—wider—and found herself all at once folded, unresisting, in her lover's arms.
He told her the story of the unfortunate girl chained to a rock, waiting for a sea monster that was coming to eat her, and how Perseus arrived and set her free, winning her love with his bravery. Then he started to talk about a young man chained to his tower, a place for stargazers, who struggled with ambition, feelings of loneliness and self-hatred, and a contempt for the life he looked down on after gazing at the calmness of the stars, endlessly questioning things that led him nowhere. Now, he had just one more question to ask. He loved her. Would she break his chain? He held out both his hands to her, palms together, as if they were bound at the wrists. She gently took hold of them, parted them slightly, then wider—wider—and suddenly found herself wrapped, willingly, in her lover's arms.
So there was a new double-star in the living firmament. The constellations seemed to kindle with new splendors as the student and the story-teller walked homeward in their light; Alioth and Algol looked down on them as on the first pair of lovers they shone over, and the autumn air seemed full of harmonies as when the morning stars sang together.
So there was a new double star in the sky. The constellations seemed to come alive with new brilliance as the student and the storyteller walked home in their glow; Alioth and Algol looked down on them like they did on the first couple of lovers beneath their light, and the autumn air felt filled with melodies like when the morning stars sang together.
XII
The old Master had asked us, the Young Astronomer and myself, into his library, to hear him read some passages from his interleaved book. We three had formed a kind of little club without knowing it from the time when the young man began reading those extracts from his poetical reveries which I have reproduced in these pages. Perhaps we agreed in too many things,—I suppose if we could have had a good hard-headed, old-fashioned New England divine to meet with us it might have acted as a wholesome corrective. For we had it all our own way; the Lady's kindly remonstrance was taken in good part, but did not keep us from talking pretty freely, and as for the Young Girl, she listened with the tranquillity and fearlessness which a very simple trusting creed naturally gives those who hold it. The fewer outworks to the citadel of belief, the fewer points there are to be threatened and endangered.
The old Master had invited the Young Astronomer and me into his library to listen to him read some passages from his interleaved book. The three of us had formed a sort of little club without realizing it ever since the young man started sharing those excerpts from his poetic musings that I've included in these pages. Maybe we agreed on too many things—if only we could have had a pragmatic, old-school New England minister join us, it might have provided a helpful balance. We pretty much had our way; the Lady’s gentle objections were taken well, but they didn’t stop us from speaking openly, and as for the Young Girl, she listened with the calmness and confidence that comes from a simple, trusting belief. The fewer defenses around a strong belief, the fewer vulnerabilities there are to worry about.
The reader must not suppose that I even attempt to reproduce everything exactly as it took place in our conversations, or when we met to listen to the Master's prose or to the Young Astronomer's verse. I do not pretend to give all the pauses and interruptions by question or otherwise. I could not always do it if I tried, but I do not want to, for oftentimes it is better to let the speaker or reader go on continuously, although there may have been many breaks in the course of the conversation or reading. When, for instance, I by and by reproduce what the Landlady said to us, I shall give it almost without any hint that it was arrested in its flow from time to time by various expressions on the part of the hearers.
The reader shouldn’t think that I’m trying to recreate everything exactly as it happened during our conversations or when we gathered to listen to the Master’s prose or the Young Astronomer’s poetry. I’m not trying to capture all the pauses and interruptions from questions and such. I wouldn’t always be able to do it even if I wanted to, but I don’t want to, because sometimes it’s better to let the speaker or reader continue uninterrupted, even if there were many breaks in the conversation or reading. For example, when I later share what the Landlady told us, I will present it almost without indicating that it was occasionally interrupted by various reactions from the listeners.
I can hardly say what the reason of it was, but it is very certain that I had a vague sense of some impending event as we took our seats in the Master's library. He seemed particularly anxious that we should be comfortably seated, and shook up the cushions of the arm-chairs himself, and got them into the right places.
I can hardly explain why, but I definitely had a strange feeling that something was about to happen as we settled into the Master's library. He seemed especially eager for us to be comfortable, adjusting the cushions of the armchairs himself and arranging them just right.
Now go to sleep—he said—or listen,—just which you like best. But I am going to begin by telling you both a secret.
Now go to sleep—he said—or listen—whichever you prefer. But I'm going to start by telling you both a secret.
Liberavi animam meam. That is the meaning of my book and of my literary life, if I may give such a name to that party-colored shred of human existence. I have unburdened myself in this book, and in some other pages, of what I was born to say. Many things that I have said in my ripe days have been aching in my soul since I was a mere child. I say aching, because they conflicted with many of my inherited beliefs, or rather traditions. I did not know then that two strains of blood were striving in me for the mastery,—two! twenty, perhaps,—twenty thousand, for aught I know,—but represented to me by two,—paternal and maternal. Blind forces in themselves; shaping thoughts as they shaped features and battled for the moulding of constitution and the mingling of temperament.
Liberavi animam meam. That’s the essence of my book and my writing journey, if I can call it that for this mixed-up piece of human existence. I’ve unloaded my thoughts in this book, and in some other pages, about what I’ve always needed to express. Many things I’ve shared in my later years have been pressing in my soul since I was just a kid. I say pressing because they clashed with a lot of my inherited beliefs, or rather traditions. I didn’t realize back then that two different bloodlines were fighting inside me for control—two! Maybe twenty, or even twenty thousand, for all I know—but represented to me as two—my dad’s side and my mom’s side. Blind forces in themselves, shaping thoughts just as they shaped my features, battling for control over my constitution and mixing my temperament.
Philosophy and poetry came—to me before I knew their names.
Philosophy and poetry reached me before I even knew what to call them.
Je fis mes premiers vers, sans savoir les ecrire.
I wrote my first verses, without knowing how to write them.
Not verses so much as the stuff that verses are made of. I don't suppose that the thoughts which came up of themselves in my mind were so mighty different from what come up in the minds of other young folks. And that 's the best reason I could give for telling 'em. I don't believe anything I've written is as good as it seemed to me when I wrote it,—he stopped, for he was afraid he was lying,—not much that I 've written, at any rate,—he said—with a smile at the honesty which made him qualify his statement. But I do know this: I have struck a good many chords, first and last, in the consciousness of other people. I confess to a tender feeling for my little brood of thoughts. When they have been welcomed and praised it has pleased me, and if at any time they have been rudely handled and despitefully entreated it has cost me a little worry. I don't despise reputation, and I should like to be remembered as having said something worth lasting well enough to last.
Not so much verses as the things that make up verses. I don’t think the thoughts that came to me on their own were very different from what other young people think. That’s the main reason I’m sharing them. I don’t believe anything I’ve written is as good as it felt when I wrote it,—he paused, worried he might be lying,—not much of what I’ve written, anyway,—he said—with a smile at the honesty that made him clarify his point. But I do know this: I’ve hit a good number of chords, now and then, in other people’s minds. I admit I have a soft spot for my little collection of thoughts. When they’ve been welcomed and praised, it has brought me joy, and if they’ve been dismissed or mistreated, it has bothered me a bit. I don’t look down on reputation, and I’d like to be remembered for having said something worth remembering.
But all that is nothing to the main comfort I feel as a writer. I have got rid of something my mind could not keep to itself and rise as it was meant to into higher regions. I saw the aeronauts the other day emptying from the bags some of the sand that served as ballast. It glistened a moment in the sunlight as a slender shower, and then was lost and seen no more as it scattered itself unnoticed. But the airship rose higher as the sand was poured out, and so it seems to me I have felt myself getting above the mists and clouds whenever I have lightened myself of some portion of the mental ballast I have carried with me. Why should I hope or fear when I send out my book? I have had my reward, for I have wrought out my thought, I have said my say, I have freed my soul. I can afford to be forgotten.
But all that is nothing compared to the main comfort I feel as a writer. I've let go of something my mind couldn't keep to itself and rise as it was meant to into higher realms. I saw the balloonists the other day emptying some sand from their bags that served as ballast. It sparkled for a moment in the sunlight like a fine shower and then disappeared as it scattered unnoticed. But the airship rose higher as the sand was poured out, and it feels to me like I've lifted above the fog and clouds every time I've lightened my mental load. Why should I hope or fear when I release my book? I've already been rewarded because I've shaped my thoughts, I've expressed myself, I've freed my spirit. I can handle being forgotten.
Look here!—he said. I keep oblivion always before me.—He pointed to a singularly perfect and beautiful trilobite which was lying on a pile of manuscripts.—Each time I fill a sheet of paper with what I am writing, I lay it beneath this relic of a dead world, and project my thought forward into eternity as far as this extinct crustacean carries it backward. When my heart beats too lustily with vain hopes of being remembered, I press the cold fossil against it and it grows calm. I touch my forehead with it, and its anxious furrows grow smooth. Our world, too, with all its breathing life, is but a leaf to be folded with the other strata, and if I am only patient, by and by I shall be just as famous as imperious Caesar himself, embedded with me in a conglomerate.
"Look here!" he said. "I always keep forgetfulness in front of me." He pointed to a uniquely perfect and beautiful trilobite lying on a stack of manuscripts. "Every time I fill a sheet of paper with my writing, I place it beneath this relic from a dead world, pushing my thoughts forward into eternity as far as this extinct crustacean takes them backward. When my heart beats too wildly with empty hopes of being remembered, I press the cold fossil against it, and it calms down. I touch my forehead with it, and the anxious lines smooth out. Our world, too, with all its living beings, is just a leaf to be folded with the other layers, and if I am patient, eventually I’ll be just as famous as the mighty Caesar himself, embedded with me in a conglomerate."
He began reading:—“There is no new thing under the sun,” said the Preacher. He would not say so now, if he should come to life for a little while, and have his photograph taken, and go up in a balloon, and take a trip by railroad and a voyage by steamship, and get a message from General Grant by the cable, and see a man's leg cut off without its hurting him. If it did not take his breath away and lay him out as flat as the Queen of Sheba was knocked over by the splendors of his court, he must have rivalled our Indians in the nil admarari line.
He started reading:—“There’s nothing new under the sun,” said the Preacher. He wouldn’t say that now if he came back to life for a bit, got his picture taken, went up in a balloon, took a train trip, sailed on a steamship, got a message from General Grant via cable, and saw a man’s leg get amputated without any pain. If all that didn’t take his breath away and knock him flat like the Queen of Sheba was when she saw the splendor of his court, he must have been as unfazed as our Native Americans.
For all that, it is a strange thing to see what numbers of new things are really old. There are many modern contrivances that are of as early date as the first man, if not thousands of centuries older. Everybody knows how all the arrangements of our telescopes and microscopes are anticipated in the eye, and how our best musical instruments are surpassed by the larynx. But there are some very odd things any anatomist can tell, showing how our recent contrivances are anticipated in the human body. In the alimentary canal are certain pointed eminences called villi, and certain ridges called valvuloe conniventes. The makers of heating apparatus have exactly reproduced the first in the “pot” of their furnaces, and the second in many of the radiators to be seen in our public buildings. The object in the body and the heating apparatus is the same; to increase the extent of surface.—We mix hair with plaster (as the Egyptians mixed straw with clay to make bricks) so that it shall hold more firmly. But before man had any artificial dwelling the same contrivance of mixing fibrous threads with a cohesive substance had been employed in the jointed fabric of his own spinal column. India-rubber is modern, but the yellow animal substance which is elastic like that, and serves the same purpose in the animal economy which that serves in our mechanical contrivances, is as old as the mammalia. The dome, the round and the Gothic arch, the groined roof, the flying buttress, are all familiar to those who have studied the bony frame of man. All forms of the lever and all the principal kinds of hinges are to be met with in our own frames. The valvular arrangements of the blood-vessels are unapproached by any artificial apparatus, and the arrangements for preventing friction are so perfect that two surfaces will play on each other for fourscore years or more and never once trouble their owner by catching or rubbing so as to be felt or heard.
For all that, it’s strange to see how many new things are actually very old. There are many modern inventions that date back to the time of the first humans, if not thousands of years before. Everyone knows that the way our telescopes and microscopes work is anticipated by the eye, and that our best musical instruments are outdone by the human voice. But there are some really interesting things that any anatomist can explain, showing how our recent inventions were already anticipated in the human body. In the digestive system, there are certain pointed structures called villi, and certain ridges known as valvuloe conniventes. The makers of heating devices have exactly copied the first in the “pot” of their furnaces and the second in many of the radiators found in our public buildings. The function of these structures in the body and in heating devices is the same: to increase the surface area. We mix hair with plaster (just like the Egyptians mixed straw with clay to make bricks) to ensure it holds better. But before humans had any artificial homes, the same idea of mixing fibrous strands with a binding substance was already used in the jointed structure of the spinal column. Rubber is modern, but the yellow animal tissue that is elastic like it and serves the same purpose in living organisms as rubber does in our machines has been around since the time of mammals. The dome, round arches, Gothic arches, groined roofs, and flying buttresses are all familiar to those who have studied the human skeleton. All types of levers and the main kinds of hinges can be found in our bodies. The valve systems in blood vessels are unmatched by any man-made devices, and the mechanisms designed to prevent friction are so perfect that two surfaces can move against each other for eighty years or more without causing any trouble to their owner through catching or rubbing that can be felt or heard.
But stranger than these repetitions are the coincidences one finds in the manners and speech of antiquity and our own time. In the days when Flood Ireson was drawn in the cart by the Maenads of Marblehead, that fishing town had the name of nurturing a young population not over fond of strangers. It used to be said that if an unknown landsman showed himself in the streets, the boys would follow after him, crying, “Rock him! Rock him! He's got a long-tailed coat on!”
But stranger than these repetitions are the coincidences one finds in the manners and speech of ancient times and our own. Back when Flood Ireson was pulled through town by the Maenads of Marblehead, that fishing town was known for raising a young population that wasn’t too keen on outsiders. It was said that if an unfamiliar man appeared in the streets, the boys would chase after him, shouting, “Rock him! Rock him! He's wearing a long-tailed coat!”
Now if one opens the Odyssey, he will find that the Phaeacians, three thousand years ago, were wonderfully like these youthful Marbleheaders. The blue-eyed Goddess who convoys Ulysses, under the disguise of a young maiden of the place, gives him some excellent advice. “Hold your tongue,” she says, “and don't look at anybody or ask any questions, for these are seafaring people, and don't like to have strangers round or anybody that does not belong here.”
Now, if you open the Odyssey, you'll see that the Phaeacians, three thousand years ago, were surprisingly similar to these young Marbleheaders. The blue-eyed Goddess who guides Ulysses, pretending to be a local young woman, gives him some great advice. “Keep quiet,” she says, “and don’t look at anyone or ask any questions, because these are seafaring people who don’t like having strangers around or anyone who doesn’t belong here.”
Who would have thought that the saucy question, “Does your mother know you're out?” was the very same that Horace addressed to the bore who attacked him in the Via Sacra?
Who would have thought that the bold question, “Does your mom know you're out?” was the exact one that Horace asked the annoying person who confronted him on the Via Sacra?
Interpellandi locus hic erat; Est tibi mater? Cognati, queis te salvo est opus?
This is the place to ask; Do you have a mother? Relatives, who is in need of your safety?
And think of the London cockney's prefix of the letter h to innocent words beginning with a vowel having its prototype in the speech of the vulgar Roman, as may be seen in the verses of Catullus:
And consider how the London cockney adds an h to innocent words that start with a vowel, a practice that has its roots in the way the common Romans spoke, as can be seen in the verses of Catullus:
Chommoda dicebat, siquando commoda vellet Dicere, et hinsidias Arrius insidias. Et tum mirifice sperabat se esse locutum, Cum quantum poterat, dixerat hinsidias... Hoc misso in Syriam, requierant omnibus aures... Cum subito affertur nuncius horribilis; Ionios fluctus, postquam illue Arrius isset, Jam non Ionios esse, sed Hionios.
Chommoda would say that whenever he wanted to talk about benefits He would talk about Arrius's traps. And then he believed he had spoken brilliantly, When he had said, to the best of his ability, traps... With this sent to Syria, everyone's ears were at attention... When suddenly, a terrible message came in; The Ionian waves, after Arrius had sailed there, Were no longer Ionian, but Hionian.
—Our neighbors of Manhattan have an excellent jest about our crooked streets which, if they were a little more familiar with a native author of unquestionable veracity, they would strike out from the letter of “Our Boston Correspondent,” where it is a source of perennial hilarity. It is worth while to reprint, for the benefit of whom it may concern, a paragraph from the authentic history of the venerable Diedrich Knickerbocker:
—Our neighbors in Manhattan have a great joke about our winding streets which, if they were a bit more acquainted with a native author of unquestionable truth, they would remove from the message of “Our Boston Correspondent,” where it serves as a constant source of amusement. It’s worth reprinting, for the benefit of anyone it may concern, a paragraph from the genuine history of the esteemed Diedrich Knickerbocker:
“The sage council, as has been mentioned in a preceding chapter, not being able to determine upon any plan for the building of their city,—the cows, in a laudable fit of patriotism, took it under their peculiar charge, and as they went to and from pasture, established paths through the bushes, on each side of which the good folks built their houses; which is one cause of the rambling and picturesque turns and labyrinths, which distinguish certain streets of New York at this very day.”
“The wise council, as mentioned in a previous chapter, unable to decide on a plan for building their city,—the cows, in a commendable burst of patriotism, took it upon themselves to guide the process, and as they traveled to and from pasture, they created paths through the bushes, along which the townspeople built their houses; this is one reason for the winding and charming twists and turns that characterize certain streets of New York even today.”
—When I was a little boy there came to stay with us for a while a young lady with a singularly white complexion. Now I had often seen the masons slacking lime, and I thought it was the whitest thing I had ever looked upon. So I always called this fair visitor of ours Slacked Lime. I think she is still living in a neighboring State, and I am sure she has never forgotten the fanciful name I gave her. But within ten or a dozen years I have seen this very same comparison going the round of the papers, and credited to a Welsh poet, David Ap Gwyllym, or something like that, by name.
—When I was a kid, a young woman with a strikingly white complexion came to stay with us for a while. I had often seen masons mixing lime, and I thought it was the whitest thing I had ever seen. So I always called our beautiful visitor Slacked Lime. I believe she's still living in a nearby state, and I’m sure she hasn't forgotten the whimsical name I gave her. But in the last ten or so years, I’ve seen that same comparison pop up in newspapers, attributed to a Welsh poet named David Ap Gwyllym or something like that.
—I turned a pretty sentence enough in one of my lectures about finding poppies springing up amidst the corn; as if it had been foreseen by nature that wherever there should be hunger that asked for food, there would be pain that needed relief,—and many years afterwards. I had the pleasure of finding that Mistress Piozzi had been beforehand with me in suggesting the same moral reflection.
—I crafted a decent sentence during one of my lectures about discovering poppies growing among the corn; as if nature had predicted that wherever there was hunger craving food, there would also be pain needing relief,—many years later. I was pleased to discover that Mistress Piozzi had already suggested the same moral insight before me.
—I should like to carry some of my friends to see a giant bee-hive I have discovered. Its hum can be heard half a mile, and the great white swarm counts its tens of thousands. They pretend to call it a planing-mill, but if it is not a bee-hive it is so like one that if a hundred people have not said so before me, it is very singular that they have not. If I wrote verses I would try to bring it in, and I suppose people would start up in a dozen places, and say, “Oh, that bee-hive simile is mine,—and besides, did not Mr. Bayard Taylor call the snowflakes 'white bees'?”
—I would love to take some of my friends to see a giant beehive I discovered. You can hear its buzz from half a mile away, and the huge white swarm has tens of thousands of bees. They like to call it a planing mill, but if it’s not a beehive, it’s so similar that it’s strange no one has pointed it out before me, considering a hundred people must have noticed. If I wrote poetry, I would try to include it, and I bet people would jump up in a bunch of places, saying, “Oh, that beehive simile is mine—and besides, didn’t Mr. Bayard Taylor call the snowflakes 'white bees'?”
I think the old Master had chosen these trivialities on purpose to amuse the Young Astronomer and myself, if possible, and so make sure of our keeping awake while he went on reading, as follows:
I think the old Master picked these little things on purpose to entertain the Young Astronomer and me, if he could, and to ensure we stayed awake while he continued reading, like this:
—How the sweet souls of all time strike the same note, the same because it is in unison with the divine voice that sings to them! I read in the Zend Avesta, “No earthly man with a hundred-fold strength speaks so much evil as Mithra with heavenly strength speaks good. No earthly man with a hundred-fold strength does so much evil as Mithra with heavenly strength does good.”
—How the beautiful souls throughout history resonate with the same message, because they are in harmony with the divine voice that sings to them! I read in the Zend Avesta, “No earthly man with a hundred-fold strength speaks as much evil as Mithra with heavenly strength speaks good. No earthly man with a hundred-fold strength does as much evil as Mithra with heavenly strength does good.”
And now leave Persia and Zoroaster, and come down with me to our own New England and one of our old Puritan preachers. It was in the dreadful days of the Salem Witchcraft delusion that one Jonathan Singletary, being then in the prison at Ipswich, gave his testimony as to certain fearful occurrences,—a great noise, as of many cats climbing, skipping, and jumping, of throwing about of furniture, and of men walking in the chambers, with crackling and shaking as if the house would fall upon him.
And now, let’s leave Persia and Zoroaster behind and come down with me to our own New England, where one of our old Puritan preachers lived. During the terrible times of the Salem witch trials, a man named Jonathan Singletary, who was then in prison in Ipswich, shared his account of some alarming events—loud noises like many cats climbing, jumping, and skipping, furniture being tossed around, and men walking in the rooms, with crackling and shaking as if the house might collapse on him.
“I was at present,” he says, “something affrighted; yet considering what I had lately heard made out by Mr. Mitchel at Cambridge, that there is more good in God than there is evil in sin, and that although God is the greatest good and sin the greatest evil, yet the first Being of evil cannot weave the scales or overpower the first Being of good: so considering that the authour of good was of greater power than the authour of evil, God was pleased of his goodness to keep me from being out of measure frighted.”
“I was currently,” he says, “a bit scared; but thinking about what I had recently heard from Mr. Mitchel at Cambridge, that there is more good in God than there is evil in sin, and that although God represents the greatest good and sin represents the greatest evil, the origin of evil cannot tip the scales or overpower the origin of good: so considering that the author of good was more powerful than the author of evil, God, in His goodness, kept me from being excessively frightened.”
I shall always bless the memory of this poor, timid creature for saving that dear remembrance of “Matchless Mitchel.” How many, like him, have thought they were preaching a new gospel, when they were only reaffirming the principles which underlie the Magna Charta of humanity, and are common to the noblest utterances of all the nobler creeds! But spoken by those solemn lips to those stern, simpleminded hearers, the words I have cited seem to me to have a fragrance like the precious ointment of spikenard with which Mary anointed her Master's feet. I can see the little bare meeting-house, with the godly deacons, and the grave matrons, and the comely maidens, and the sober manhood of the village, with the small group of college students sitting by themselves under the shadow of the awful Presidential Presence, all listening to that preaching, which was, as Cotton Mather says, “as a very lovely song of one that hath a pleasant voice”; and as the holy pastor utters those blessed words, which are not of any one church or age, but of all time, the humble place of worship is filled with their perfume, as the house where Mary knelt was filled with the odor of the precious ointment.
I will always cherish the memory of this poor, shy creature for preserving that dear memory of “Matchless Mitchel.” How many, like him, have believed they were preaching a new message, when they were just reinforcing the principles that are the foundation of humanity's Magna Carta and are shared by the noblest expressions of all the greater faiths! But spoken by those serious lips to those earnest, straightforward listeners, the words I've referenced seem to possess a sweetness like the valuable ointment of spikenard that Mary used to anoint her Master's feet. I can envision the small, simple meeting house, with the righteous deacons, the solemn matrons, the graceful young women, and the earnest men of the village, alongside a small group of college students sitting quietly under the weighty Presidential Presence, all listening to that preaching, which, as Cotton Mather notes, “is like a very lovely song from someone with a pleasant voice”; and as the holy pastor shares those blessed words, which belong to no single church or era, but to all time, the humble place of worship fills with their fragrance, just like the house where Mary knelt was filled with the scent of the precious ointment.
—The Master rose, as he finished reading this sentence, and, walking to the window, adjusted a curtain which he seemed to find a good deal of trouble in getting to hang just as he wanted it.
—The Master got up after finishing this sentence and, walking to the window, fiddled with a curtain that he seemed to have a lot of trouble getting to hang just the way he wanted it.
He came back to his arm-chair, and began reading again
He returned to his armchair and started reading again.
—If men would only open their eyes to the fact which stares them in the face from history, and is made clear enough by the slightest glance at the condition of mankind, that humanity is of immeasurably greater importance than their own or any other particular belief, they would no more attempt to make private property of the grace of God than to fence in the sunshine for their own special use and enjoyment.
—If people would just open their eyes to the obvious truth that history shows and that you can see clearly with even the slightest look at the state of humanity, that overall human welfare is far more important than their own or any specific belief, they would never try to claim God's grace as their private property any more than they would try to enclose sunlight for their exclusive use and enjoyment.
We are all tattoed in our cradles with the beliefs of our tribe; the record may seem superficial, but it is indelible. You cannot educate a man wholly out of the superstitious fears which were early implanted in his imagination; no matter how utterly his reason may reject them, he will still feel as the famous woman did about ghosts, Je n'y crois pas, mais je les crains,—“I don't believe in them, but I am afraid of them, nevertheless.”
We are all marked from birth with the beliefs of our community; the impact may seem minor, but it is permanent. You can't completely educate someone away from the superstitious fears that were instilled in them as children; no matter how much their reasoning dismisses them, they will still feel like the famous woman did about ghosts, “I don't believe in them, but I am afraid of them, nevertheless.”
—As people grow older they come at length to live so much in memory that they often think with a kind of pleasure of losing their dearest blessings. Nothing can be so perfect while we possess it as it will seem when remembered. The friend we love best may sometimes weary us by his presence or vex us by his infirmities. How sweet to think of him as he will be to us after we have outlived him ten or a dozen years! Then we can recall him in his best moments, bid him stay with us as long as we want his company, and send him away when we wish to be alone again. One might alter Shenstone's well-known epitaph to suit such a case:—
—As people get older, they end up spending so much time in their memories that they often feel a strange pleasure in thinking about losing their most cherished blessings. Nothing seems as perfect while we have it as it does in our memories. The friend we care about the most may sometimes annoy us with their presence or frustrate us with their flaws. How nice it is to think of them as they will appear to us after we've lived without them for ten or twelve years! Then we can remember them in their best moments, keep them with us for as long as we want their company, and let them go when we want to be alone again. One could modify Shenstone's famous epitaph to fit such a situation:—
Hen! quanto minus est cum to vivo versari Quam erit (vel esset) tui mortui reminisse! “Alas! how much less the delight of thy living presence Than will (or would) be that of remembering thee when thou hast left us!”
Hen! quanto minus est cum to vivo versari Quam erit (vel esset) tui mortui reminisse! “Alas! how much less the delight of your living presence than the joy of remembering you once you've gone from us!”
I want to stop here—I the Poet—and put in a few reflections of my own, suggested by what I have been giving the reader from the Master's Book, and in a similar vein.
I want to pause here—I, the Poet—and share a few thoughts of my own, inspired by what I’ve presented to the reader from the Master’s Book, and in a similar style.
—How few things there are that do not change their whole aspect in the course of a single generation! The landscape around us is wholly different. Even the outlines of the hills that surround us are changed by the creeping of the villages with their spires and school-houses up their sides. The sky remains the same, and the ocean. A few old churchyards look very much as they used to, except, of course, in Boston, where the gravestones have been rooted up and planted in rows with walks between them, to the utter disgrace and ruin of our most venerated cemeteries. The Registry of Deeds and the Probate Office show us the same old folios, where we can read our grandfather's title to his estate (if we had a grandfather and he happened to own anything) and see how many pots and kettles there were in his kitchen by the inventory of his personal property.
—How few things there are that don’t change completely in just one generation! The landscape around us looks totally different. Even the shapes of the hills that surround us have been altered by the spread of villages with their steeples and schools creeping up their sides. The sky is still the same, and so is the ocean. A few old churchyards still look pretty much as they did, except, of course, in Boston, where the gravestones have been uprooted and arranged in rows with paths between them, ruining and disgraceing our most cherished cemeteries. The Registry of Deeds and the Probate Office still have the same old records, where we can read about our grandfather's title to his estate (if we had a grandfather and he owned anything) and see how many pots and pans he had in his kitchen by the inventory of his personal belongings.
Among living people none remain so long unchanged as the actors. I can see the same Othello to-day, if I choose, that when I was a boy I saw smothering Mrs. Duff-Desdemona with the pillow, under the instigations of Mr. Cooper-Iago. A few stone heavier than he was then, no doubt, but the same truculent blackamoor that took by the thr-r-r-oat the circumcised dog in Aleppo, and told us about it in the old Boston Theatre. In the course of a fortnight, if I care to cross the water, I can see Mademoiselle Dejazet in the same parts I saw her in under Louis Philippe, and be charmed by the same grace and vivacity which delighted my grandmother (if she was in Paris, and went to see her in the part of Fanchon toute seule at the Theatre des Capucines) in the days when the great Napoleon was still only First Consul.
Among living people, none stay the same for so long as actors. I can see the same Othello today, if I want, that I saw as a boy smothering Mrs. Duff-Desdemona with a pillow, under the influence of Mr. Cooper-Iago. A few pounds heavier than he was back then, no doubt, but the same fierce black man who grabbed the circumcised dog by the throat in Aleppo and told us about it at the old Boston Theatre. In just two weeks, if I want to cross the ocean, I can see Mademoiselle Dejazet in the same roles I saw her in under Louis Philippe, and be enchanted by the same charm and energy that delighted my grandmother (if she was in Paris and went to see her in the role of Fanchon toute seule at the Theatre des Capucines) in the days when the great Napoleon was still just First Consul.
The graveyard and the stage are pretty much the only places where you can expect to find your friends—as you left them, five and twenty or fifty years ago. I have noticed, I may add, that old theatre-goers bring back the past with their stories more vividly than men with any other experiences. There were two old New-Yorkers that I used to love to sit talking with about the stage. One was a scholar and a writer of note; a pleasant old gentleman, with the fresh cheek of an octogenarian Cupid. The other not less noted in his way, deep in local lore, large-brained, full-blooded, of somewhat perturbing and tumultuous presence. It was good to hear them talk of George Frederic Cooke, of Kean, and the lesser stars of those earlier constellations. Better still to breakfast with old Samuel Rogers, as some of my readers have done more than once, and hear him answer to the question who was the best actor he remembered, “I think, on the whole, Garrick.”
The graveyard and the stage are pretty much the only places where you can expect to find your friends—as you left them, twenty-five or fifty years ago. I've noticed that old theater-goers bring back the past with their stories more vividly than anyone else. There were two old New Yorkers that I loved chatting with about theater. One was a scholar and a well-known writer; a pleasant old gentleman, with the youthful look of an octogenarian Cupid. The other, equally notable in his own way, was deeply knowledgeable about local history, with a bright mind and a lively, intense presence. It was great to hear them talk about George Frederic Cooke, Kean, and the lesser stars of those earlier times. Even better was having breakfast with the late Samuel Rogers, as some of my readers have done more than once, and hearing him respond to the question of who the best actor he remembered was, saying, “I think, on the whole, Garrick.”
If we did but know how to question these charming old people before it is too late! About ten years, more or less, after the generation in advance of our own has all died off, it occurs to us all at once, “There! I can ask my old friend what he knows of that picture, which must be a Copley; of that house and its legends about which there is such a mystery. He (or she) must know all about that.” Too late! Too late!
If we only knew how to ask these lovely old folks before it's too late! About ten years or so after the generation ahead of us has all passed away, it suddenly hits us, “Hey! I can ask my elderly friend what they know about that painting, which has to be a Copley; about that house and its mysterious stories. They must know all about it.” Too late! Too late!
Still, now and then one saves a reminiscence that means a good deal by means of a casual question. I asked the first of those two old New-Yorkers the following question: “Who, on the whole, seemed to you the most considerable person you ever met?”
Still, every now and then, you come across a memory that holds significant value through a casual question. I asked the first of those two old New Yorkers this question: “Who did you find to be the most impressive person you ever met?”
Now it must be remembered that this was a man who had lived in a city that calls itself the metropolis, one who had been a member of the State and the National Legislature, who had come in contact with men of letters and men of business, with politicians and members of all the professions, during a long and distinguished public career. I paused for his answer with no little curiosity. Would it be one of the great Ex-Presidents whose names were known to, all the world? Would it be the silver-tongued orator of Kentucky or the “God-like” champion of the Constitution, our New-England Jupiter Capitolinus? Who would it be?
Now, keep in mind that this was a man who had lived in a city that calls itself the metropolis, someone who had served in both the state and national legislatures, who had interacted with writers and businesspeople, politicians, and professionals during a long and impressive public career. I paused for his answer with a lot of curiosity. Would it be one of the great ex-presidents whose names are known to the whole world? Would it be the silver-tongued speaker from Kentucky or the “God-like” defender of the Constitution, our New England figure of power? Who would it be?
“Take it altogether,” he answered, very deliberately, “I should say Colonel Elisha Williams was the most notable personage that I have met with.”
“Honestly,” he replied carefully, “I would say Colonel Elisha Williams was the most remarkable person I've met.”
—Colonel Elisha Williams! And who might he be, forsooth? A gentleman of singular distinction, you may be well assured, even though you are not familiar with his name; but as I am not writing a biographical dictionary, I shall leave it to my reader to find out who and what he was.
—Colonel Elisha Williams! And who could he be, you ask? He was a man of exceptional distinction, without a doubt, even if you don’t know his name; but since I’m not writing a biography, I’ll let my readers figure out who and what he was.
—One would like to live long enough to witness certain things which will no doubt come to pass by and by. I remember that when one of our good kindhearted old millionnaires was growing very infirm, his limbs failing him, and his trunk getting packed with the infirmities which mean that one is bound on a long journey, he said very simply and sweetly, “I don't care about living a great deal longer, but I should like to live long enough to find out how much old (a many-millioned fellow-citizen) is worth.” And without committing myself on the longevity-question, I confess I should like to live long enough to see a few things happen that are like to come, sooner or later.
—One would like to live long enough to see certain things that will surely happen eventually. I remember when one of our kind-hearted old millionaires was becoming very frail, his limbs giving out and his body burdened with the ailments that mean a long journey is ahead. He simply and sweetly said, “I don't care about living much longer, but I’d like to live long enough to find out how much that old (multi-millionaire) fellow-citizen is worth.” And without taking a stance on the longevity question, I must admit I’d like to live long enough to witness a few things that are bound to happen, sooner or later.
I want to hold the skull of Abraham in my hand. They will go through the cave of Machpelah at Hebron, I feel sure, in the course of a few generations at the furthest, and as Dr. Robinson knows of nothing which should lead us to question the correctness of the tradition which regards this as the place of sepulture of Abraham and the other patriarchs, there is no reason why we may not find his mummied body in perfect preservation, if he was embalmed after the Egyptian fashion. I suppose the tomb of David will be explored by a commission in due time, and I should like to see the phrenological developments of that great king and divine singer and warm-blooded man. If, as seems probable, the anthropological section of society manages to get round the curse that protects the bones of Shakespeare, I should like to see the dome which rounded itself over his imperial brain. Not that I am what is called a phrenologist, but I am curious as to the physical developments of these fellow-mortals of mine, and a little in want of a sensation.
I want to hold Abraham's skull in my hand. I’m sure they’ll explore the cave of Machpelah in Hebron within a few generations at most, and since Dr. Robinson doesn’t know of anything that challenges the tradition that this is the burial place of Abraham and the other patriarchs, there’s no reason we couldn’t find his mummified body perfectly preserved if he was embalmed like the Egyptians did. I assume a commission will eventually investigate David’s tomb, and I’d love to see the skull shape of that great king, divine singer, and passionate man. If, as seems likely, the anthropological community finds a way to bypass the curse protecting Shakespeare’s bones, I’d want to see the dome that formed over his brilliant mind. Not that I consider myself a phrenologist, but I’m curious about the physical traits of these fellow humans of mine and I’m looking for a bit of excitement.
I should like to live long enough to see the course of the Tiber turned, and the bottom of the river thoroughly dredged. I wonder if they would find the seven-branched golden candlestick brought from Jerusalem by Titus, and said to have been dropped from the Milvian bridge. I have often thought of going fishing for it some year when I wanted a vacation, as some of my friends used to go to Ireland to fish for salmon. There was an attempt of that kind, I think, a few years ago.
I hope to live long enough to see the Tiber redirected and the riverbed completely cleaned out. I wonder if they would discover the seven-branched gold menorah that Titus brought from Jerusalem, said to have fallen from the Milvian bridge. I've often thought about going on a fishing expedition for it one year when I needed a break, just like some of my friends would go to Ireland to fish for salmon. I think there was an attempt like that a few years ago.
We all know how it looks well enough, from the figure of it on the Arch of Titus, but I should like to “heft” it in my own hand, and carry it home and shine it up (excuse my colloquialisms), and sit down and look at it, and think and think and think until the Temple of Solomon built up its walls of hewn stone and its roofs of cedar around me as noiselessly as when it rose, and “there was neither hammer nor axe nor any tool of iron heard in the house while it was in building.”
We all have a pretty good idea of how it looks from the depiction on the Arch of Titus, but I’d love to hold it in my own hands, take it home, polish it up (sorry for the casual language), sit down with it, and think and think until the Temple of Solomon materializes around me with its stone walls and cedar roofs, just like it did when it was built without the sound of hammering or any iron tools.
All this, you will remember, Beloved, is a digression on my own account, and I return to the old Master whom I left smiling at his own alteration of Shenstone's celebrated inscription. He now begin reading again:
All of this, you’ll recall, Beloved, is a side note on my part, and I’ll go back to the old Master who I left smiling at his own twist on Shenstone's famous inscription. He’s starting to read again:
—I want it to be understood that I consider that a certain number of persons are at liberty to dislike me peremptorily, without showing cause, and that they give no offence whatever in so doing.
—I want it to be clear that I believe a certain number of people are free to dislike me outright, without needing to explain why, and that they don't offend me at all by doing so.
If I did not cheerfully acquiesce in this sentiment towards myself on the part of others, I should not feel at liberty to indulge my own aversions. I try to cultivate a Christian feeling to all my fellow-creatures, but inasmuch as I must also respect truth and honesty, I confess to myself a certain number of inalienable dislikes and prejudices, some of which may possibly be shared by others. Some of these are purely instinctive, for others I can assign a reason. Our likes and dislikes play so important a part in the Order of Things that it is well to see on what they are founded.
If I didn't happily accept this attitude from others toward me, I wouldn't feel free to express my own dislikes. I try to foster a compassionate attitude toward all my fellow beings, but since I also have to value truth and honesty, I admit to myself that I have certain deep-seated dislikes and biases, some of which others might also share. Some of these are purely instinctive, while I can explain the reasons behind others. Our preferences and aversions play such a significant role in the grand scheme of things that it's important to understand what they're based on.
There are persons I meet occasionally who are too intelligent by half for my liking. They know my thoughts beforehand, and tell me what I was going to say. Of course they are masters of all my knowledge, and a good deal besides; have read all the books I have read, and in later editions; have had all the experiences I have been through, and more-too. In my private opinion every mother's son of them will lie at any time rather than confess ignorance.
There are people I run into every so often who are way too clever for my taste. They seem to know what I'm thinking before I even say it. Of course, they are experts on everything I know and a lot more; they've read all the books I've read, and the newer editions too; they've gone through all the experiences I've had, and then some. Honestly, I think every single one of them would rather lie than admit they don't know something.
—I have a kind of dread, rather than hatred, of persons with a large excess of vitality; great feeders, great laughers, great story-tellers, who come sweeping over their company with a huge tidal wave of animal spirits and boisterous merriment. I have pretty good spirits myself, and enjoy a little mild pleasantry, but I am oppressed and extinguished by these great lusty, noisy creatures,—and feel as if I were a mute at a funeral when they get into full blast.
—I have a sort of dread, not really hatred, of people with a ton of energy; those who eat a lot, laugh loudly, and tell stories with great enthusiasm, who come rushing into a group with an overwhelming wave of joy and rowdy fun. I have decent spirits myself and enjoy some lightheartedness, but I feel drained and overshadowed by these big, lively, loud individuals—and it’s like I’m a silent observer at a funeral when they really get going.
—I cannot get along much better with those drooping, languid people, whose vitality falls short as much as that of the others is in excess. I have not life enough for two; I wish I had. It is not very enlivening to meet a fellow-creature whose expression and accents say, “You are the hair that breaks the camel's back of my endurance, you are the last drop that makes my cup of woe run over”; persons whose heads drop on one side like those of toothless infants, whose voices recall the tones in which our old snuffling choir used to wail out the verses of:
—I can't get along any better with those drooping, listless people, whose energy is as lacking as the others' is overflowing. I don't have enough life for two; I wish I did. It's not very uplifting to encounter someone whose expression and tone say, “You are the straw that broke the camel's back of my patience, you're the last drop that makes my cup of misery overflow”; people whose heads tilt to one side like those of toothless babies, whose voices remind me of the way our old, wheezing choir used to moan the lines of:
“Life is the time to serve the Lord.”
“Life is the time to serve the Lord.”
—There is another style which does not captivate me. I recognize an attempt at the grand manner now and then, in persons who are well enough in their way, but of no particular importance, socially or otherwise. Some family tradition of wealth or distinction is apt to be at the bottom of it, and it survives all the advantages that used to set it off. I like family pride as well as my neighbors, and respect the high-born fellow-citizen whose progenitors have not worked in their shirt-sleeves for the last two generations full as much as I ought to. But grand pere oblige; a person with a known grandfather is too distinguished to find it necessary to put on airs. The few Royal Princes I have happened to know were very easy people to get along with, and had not half the social knee-action I have often seen in the collapsed dowagers who lifted their eyebrows at me in my earlier years.
—There’s another style that doesn’t really appeal to me. I see an attempt at being grand every now and then in people who are decent enough but not particularly important, socially or otherwise. Usually, there’s some family history of wealth or status behind it, and that survives even after the advantages that used to highlight it have faded. I appreciate family pride just like anyone else, and I respect the well-born fellow citizen whose ancestors haven't toiled away in their work clothes for the last two generations as much as I should. But family ties demand a certain behavior; someone with a known grandfather is too distinguished to feel the need to show off. The few Royal Princes I’ve met were pretty easygoing and didn’t have half the social pretentiousness I’ve often observed in the dowagers who raised their eyebrows at me in my younger days.
—My heart does not warm as it should do towards the persons, not intimates, who are always too glad to see me when we meet by accident, and discover all at once that they have a vast deal to unbosom themselves of to me.
—My heart doesn’t warm as it should towards those people, not close friends, who are always too eager to see me when we run into each other by chance, and suddenly realize they have a lot to share with me.
—There is one blameless person whom I cannot love and have no excuse for hating. It is the innocent fellow-creature, otherwise inoffensive to me, whom I find I have involuntarily joined on turning a corner. I suppose the Mississippi, which was flowing quietly along, minding its own business, hates the Missouri for coming into it all at once with its muddy stream. I suppose the Missouri in like manner hates the Mississippi for diluting with its limpid, but insipid current the rich reminiscences of the varied soils through which its own stream has wandered. I will not compare myself, to the clear or the turbid current, but I will own that my heart sinks when I find all of a sudden I am in for a corner confluence, and I cease loving my neighbor as myself until I can get away from him.
—There’s one person who hasn’t done anything wrong whom I can’t love and have no reason to hate. It’s the innocent fellow human, otherwise harmless to me, whom I realize I’ve accidentally bumped into as I turn a corner. I guess the Mississippi, which flows quietly and minding its own business, resents the Missouri for suddenly merging with its muddy waters. I guess the Missouri, in turn, resents the Mississippi for watering down the rich memories of the diverse lands its own waters have flowed through. I won’t compare myself to either the clear or the muddy water, but I will admit that my heart drops when I suddenly find myself in an awkward encounter, and I stop loving my neighbor as myself until I can get away from him.
—These antipathies are at least weaknesses; they may be sins in the eye of the Recording Angel. I often reproach myself with my wrong-doings. I should like sometimes to thank Heaven for saving me from some kinds of transgression, and even for granting me some qualities that if I dared I should be disposed to call virtues. I should do so, I suppose, if I did not remember the story of the Pharisee. That ought not to hinder me. The parable was told to illustrate a single virtue, humility, and the most unwarranted inferences have been drawn from it as to the whole character of the two parties. It seems not at all unlikely, but rather probable, that the Pharisee was a fairer dealer, a better husband, and a more charitable person than the Publican, whose name has come down to us “linked with one virtue,” but who may have been guilty, for aught that appears to the contrary, of “a thousand crimes.” Remember how we limit the application of other parables. The lord, it will be recollected, commended the unjust steward because he had done wisely. His shrewdness was held up as an example, but after all he was a miserable swindler, and deserved the state-prison as much as many of our financial operators. The parable of the Pharisee and the Publican is a perpetual warning against spiritual pride. But it must not frighten any one of us out of being thankful that he is not, like this or that neighbor, under bondage to strong drink or opium, that he is not an Erie-Railroad Manager, and that his head rests in virtuous calm on his own pillow. If he prays in the morning to be kept out of temptation as well as for his daily bread, shall he not return thanks at night that he has not fallen into sin as well as that his stomach has been filled? I do not think the poor Pharisee has ever had fair play, and I am afraid a good many people sin with the comforting, half-latent intention of smiting their breasts afterwards and repeating the prayer of the Publican.
—These dislikes are at least weaknesses; they might be seen as sins by the Recording Angel. I often blame myself for my wrongdoings. Sometimes, I would like to thank Heaven for protecting me from certain types of wrongdoing, and even for giving me some qualities that I, if I dared, would call virtues. I guess I would do this if I didn’t remember the story of the Pharisee. That shouldn’t hold me back. The parable was meant to illustrate a single virtue, humility, and a lot of unfounded conclusions have been drawn about the overall character of both individuals. It seems quite likely, even probable, that the Pharisee was more fair, a better husband, and a more charitable person than the Publican, whose name is remembered “linked with one virtue,” but who could very well have been guilty, for all we know, of “a thousand crimes.” Consider how we limit the meaning of other parables. The lord, as we remember, praised the dishonest steward for being clever. His cunning was highlighted as a model, but ultimately he was a pathetic fraud and deserves imprisonment just like many of our financial operators. The parable of the Pharisee and the Publican serves as a constant warning against spiritual pride. But it shouldn't scare any of us from being grateful that we are not, like this or that neighbor, trapped by strong drink or opium, that we are not an Erie-Railroad Manager, and that we can rest our heads peacefully on our own pillows. If he prays in the morning to be kept away from temptation along with asking for his daily bread, shouldn’t he also be thanking at night that he hasn’t fallen into sin as well as that he’s had enough to eat? I don’t believe the poor Pharisee has ever been treated fairly, and I’m afraid a lot of people sin with the comforting, somewhat hidden intention of beating their chests afterwards and saying the Publican’s prayer.
(Sensation.)
(Sensation.)
This little movement which I have thus indicated seemed to give the Master new confidence in his audience. He turned over several pages until he came to a part of the interleaved volume where we could all see he had written in a passage of new matter in red ink as of special interest.
This small gesture I just mentioned seemed to boost the Master's confidence in his audience. He flipped through several pages until he reached a section of the interleaved book where we could all see he had written a new passage in red ink that was particularly interesting.
—I told you, he said, in Latin, and I repeat it in English, that I have freed my soul in these pages,—I have spoken my mind. I have read you a few extracts, most of them of rather slight texture, and some of them, you perhaps thought, whimsical. But I meant, if I thought you were in the right mood for listening to it, to read you some paragraphs which give in small compass the pith, the marrow, of all that my experience has taught me. Life is a fatal complaint, and an eminently contagious one. I took it early, as we all do, and have treated it all along with the best palliatives I could get hold of, inasmuch as I could find no radical cure for its evils, and have so far managed to keep pretty comfortable under it.
—I told you, he said, in Latin, and I repeat it in English, that I have laid my soul bare in these pages—I have expressed my true feelings. I have shared a few excerpts with you, most of them quite light, and some you might have found quirky. But I intended, if I thought you were in the right mood to hear it, to read you some passages that capture the essence, the core, of everything my experiences have taught me. Life is a serious issue, and it spreads easily. I caught it early, like we all do, and have managed it all this time with the best remedies I could find, since I couldn't discover a true cure for its challenges, and have so far managed to stay relatively comfortable despite it.
It is a great thing for a man to put the whole meaning of his life into a few paragraphs, if he does it so that others can make anything out of it. If he conveys his wisdom after the fashion of the old alchemists, he may as well let it alone. He must talk in very plain words, and that is what I have done. You want to know what a certain number of scores of years have taught me that I think best worth telling. If I had half a dozen square inches of paper, and one penful of ink, and five minutes to use them in for the instruction of those who come after me, what should I put down in writing? That is the question.
It's a remarkable thing for a person to sum up the entire meaning of their life in just a few paragraphs, especially if they can do it in a way that others can understand. If he shares his insights like the old alchemists, he might as well keep it to himself. He needs to express himself in very simple language, and that's exactly what I've done. You want to know what decades of experience have taught me that I believe is worth sharing. If I had a small piece of paper, a pen full of ink, and five minutes to use them to teach those who come after me, what would I write down? That’s the question.
Perhaps I should be wiser if I refused to attempt any such brief statement of the most valuable lesson that life has taught me. I am by no means sure that I had not better draw my pen through the page that holds the quintessence of my vital experiences, and leave those who wish to know what it is to distil to themselves from my many printed pages. But I have excited your curiosity, and I see that you are impatient to hear what the wisdom, or the folly, it may be, of a life shows for, when it is crowded into a few lines as the fragrance of a gardenful of roses is concentrated in a few drops of perfume.
Maybe I should be smarter and skip trying to sum up the most important lesson life has taught me in just a few words. I'm not entirely sure if I should just cross out the page that contains the essence of my important experiences, leaving those interested to figure it out from my numerous writings. But I’ve piqued your interest, and I can tell you’re eager to find out what the wisdom—or perhaps the foolishness—of a life looks like when it’s compressed into a few lines, much like how the scent of a whole garden of roses can be captured in just a few drops of perfume.
—By this time I confess I was myself a little excited. What was he going to tell us? The Young Astronomer looked upon him with an eye as clear and steady and brilliant as the evening star, but I could see that he too was a little nervous, wondering what would come next.
—By this point, I have to admit I was a bit excited myself. What was he going to say? The Young Astronomer looked at him with an expression as clear and steady and bright as the evening star, but I could tell he was also a little uneasy, curious about what would happen next.
The old Master adjusted his large round spectacles, and began:
The old Master put on his big round glasses and started:
—It has cost me fifty years to find my place in the Order of Things. I had explored all the sciences; I had studied the literature of all ages; I had travelled in many lands; I had learned how to follow the working of thought in men and of sentiment and instinct in women. I had examined for myself all the religions that could make out any claim for themselves. I had fasted and prayed with the monks of a lonely convent; I had mingled with the crowds that shouted glory at camp-meetings; I had listened to the threats of Calvinists and the promises of Universalists; I had been a devout attendant on a Jewish Synagogue; I was in correspondence with an intelligent Buddhist; and I met frequently with the inner circle of Rationalists, who believed in the persistence of Force, and the identity of alimentary substances with virtue, and were reconstructing the universe on this basis, with absolute exclusion of all Supernumeraries. In these pursuits I had passed the larger part of my half-century of existence, as yet with little satisfaction. It was on the morning of my fiftieth birthday that the solution of the great problem I had sought so long came to me as a simple formula, with a few grand but obvious inferences. I will repeat the substance of this final intuition:
—It took me fifty years to find my place in the Order of Things. I explored all the sciences; I studied literature from every era; I traveled to many countries; I learned how to understand the thoughts of men and the feelings and instincts of women. I examined every religion that claimed validity. I fasted and prayed with the monks at a remote convent; I joined the crowds shouting for glory at camp meetings; I listened to the threats of Calvinists and the promises of Universalists; I faithfully attended a Jewish Synagogue; I corresponded with an insightful Buddhist; and I regularly met with a group of Rationalists who believed in the persistence of Force and saw a connection between essential substances and virtue, working to rebuild the universe on that basis, completely excluding all Supernumeraries. I spent most of my fifty years in these pursuits, yet I found little satisfaction. It was on the morning of my fiftieth birthday that the solution to the great problem I had been searching for finally came to me as a simple formula, with a few grand but obvious conclusions. I’ll share the essence of this final insight:
The one central fact an the Order of Things which solves all questions is:
The main fact in the Order of Things that answers all questions is:
At this moment we were interrupted by a knock at the Master's door. It was most inopportune, for he was on the point of the great disclosure, but common politeness compelled him to answer it, and as the step which we had heard was that of one of the softer-footed sex, he chose to rise from his chair and admit his visitor.
At that moment, we were interrupted by a knock at the Master's door. It couldn't have come at a worse time, as he was about to make an important revelation, but basic politeness forced him to answer it. Since the footsteps we heard belonged to someone with a lighter tread, he decided to get up from his chair and greet his guest.
This visitor was our Landlady. She was dressed with more than usual nicety, and her countenance showed clearly that she came charged with an important communication.
This visitor was our landlady. She was dressed more nicely than usual, and her face clearly showed that she had an important message to deliver.
—I did n't low there was company with you, said the Landlady,—but it's jest as well. I've got something to tell my boarders that I don't want to tell them, and if I must do it, I may as well tell you all at once as one to a time. I 'm agoing to give up keeping boarders at the end of this year,—I mean come the end of December.
—I didn't know there was company with you, said the Landlady,—but it's just as well. I've got something to tell my boarders that I don't want to tell them, and if I have to do it, I might as well tell you all at once instead of one at a time. I'm going to give up having boarders at the end of this year,—I mean come the end of December.
She took out a white handkerchief, at hand in expectation of what was to happen, and pressed it to her eyes. There was an interval of silence. The Master closed his book and laid it on the table. The Young Astronomer did not look as much surprised as I should have expected. I was completely taken aback,—I had not thought of such a sudden breaking up of our little circle.
She pulled out a white handkerchief, ready for what was about to happen, and pressed it to her eyes. There was a moment of silence. The Master closed his book and set it on the table. The Young Astronomer didn’t seem as surprised as I would have expected. I was completely caught off guard— I hadn’t imagined such a sudden end to our little group.
When the Landlady had recovered her composure, she began again:
When the landlady regained her composure, she started again:
The Lady that's been so long with me is going to a house of her own, —one she has bought back again, for it used to belong to her folks. It's a beautiful house, and the sun shines in at the front windows all day long. She's going to be wealthy again, but it doos n't make any difference in her ways. I've had boarders complain when I was doing as well as I knowed how for them, but I never heerd a word from her that wasn't as pleasant as if she'd been talking to the Governor's lady. I've knowed what it was to have women-boarders that find fault,—there's some of 'em would quarrel with me and everybody at my table; they would quarrel with the Angel Gabriel if he lived in the house with 'em, and scold at him and tell him he was always dropping his feathers round, if they could n't find anything else to bring up against him.
The lady who's been living with me for so long is moving into her own place—one she repurchased because it used to belong to her family. It's a gorgeous house, and the sun shines through the front windows all day long. She's going to be wealthy again, but it won't change her at all. I've had boarders complain even when I was doing my best for them, but I've never heard a word from her that wasn't as nice as if she were talking to the governor's wife. I've experienced what it's like to have women boarders who complain—some of them would argue with me and everyone at my table; they would even find something to fight about with the Angel Gabriel if he lived here with them, scolding him and saying he was always dropping his feathers if they couldn't find anything else to criticize.
Two other boarders of mine has given me notice that they was expecting to leave come the first of January. I could fill up their places easy enough, for ever since that first book was wrote that called people's attention to my boarding-house, I've had more wanting to come than I wanted to keep.
Two other boarders of mine have informed me that they plan to leave at the beginning of January. I could easily fill their spots, because ever since that first book was published that drew people's attention to my boarding house, I've had more people wanting to come than I wanted to keep.
But I'm getting along in life, and I ain't quite so rugged as I used to be. My daughter is well settled and my son is making his own living. I've done a good deal of hard work in my time, and I feel as if I had a right to a little rest. There's nobody knows what a woman that has the charge of a family goes through, but God Almighty that made her. I've done my best for them that I loved, and for them that was under my roof. My husband and my children was well cared for when they lived, and he and them little ones that I buried has white marble head-stones and foot-stones, and an iron fence round the lot, and a place left for me betwixt him and the....
But I’m getting older, and I’m not as tough as I used to be. My daughter is well settled, and my son is making his own way in life. I’ve done a lot of hard work in my time, and I feel like I deserve some rest. Nobody really understands what a woman in charge of a family goes through, except for God Almighty who created her. I’ve done my best for those I loved and for those under my roof. My husband and my children were well taken care of when they were alive, and he and the little ones I buried have white marble headstones and footstones, with an iron fence around the lot, and a space left for me between him and the...
Some has always been good to me,—some has made it a little of a strain to me to get along. When a woman's back aches with overworking herself to keep her house in shape, and a dozen mouths are opening at her three times a day, like them little young birds that split their heads open so you can a'most see into their empty stomachs, and one wants this and another wants that, and provisions is dear and rent is high, and nobody to look to,—then a sharp word cuts, I tell you, and a hard look goes right to your heart. I've seen a boarder make a face at what I set before him, when I had tried to suit him jest as well as I knew how, and I haven't cared to eat a thing myself all the rest of that day, and I've laid awake without a wink of sleep all night. And then when you come down the next morning all the boarders stare at you and wonder what makes you so low-spirited, and why you don't look as happy and talk as cheerful as one of them rich ladies that has dinner-parties, where they've nothing to do but give a few orders, and somebody comes and cooks their dinner, and somebody else comes and puts flowers on the table, and a lot of men dressed up like ministers come and wait on everybody, as attentive as undertakers at a funeral.
Some people have always been good to me, but some have made it a bit of a struggle for me to get by. When a woman’s back hurts from working hard to keep her house in order, and a dozen mouths are asking for food three times a day, like little baby birds that open their mouths wide enough to see their empty stomachs, with one wanting this and another wanting that, and groceries are expensive and rent is high, and there’s no one to turn to—then a sharp comment stings, I tell you, and a harsh look cuts right to your heart. I’ve seen a boarder grimace at what I served him, even though I tried my best to please him, and I didn’t want to eat anything myself for the rest of that day, and I lay awake without a wink of sleep all night. Then when you come down the next morning, all the boarders stare at you and wonder why you seem so downcast, and why you don’t look as happy and talk as cheerfully as one of those wealthy women who host dinner parties, where they just give a few orders, and someone else comes to cook their dinner, and another person comes to set flowers on the table, and a bunch of men dressed like ministers come to wait on everyone, as attentive as undertakers at a funeral.
And that reminds me to tell you that I'm agoing to live with my daughter. Her husband's a very nice man, and when he isn't following a corpse, he's as good company as if he was a member of the city council. My son, he's agoing into business with the old Doctor he studied with, and he's agoing to board with me at my daughter's for a while,—I suppose he'll be getting a wife before long. [This with a pointed look at our young friend, the Astronomer.]
And that reminds me to tell you that I'm going to live with my daughter. Her husband’s a really nice guy, and when he’s not dealing with a funeral, he’s as good company as if he was a member of the city council. My son is going into business with the old Doctor he studied with, and he’s going to stay with me at my daughter’s for a while—I suppose he’ll be getting a wife before long. [This with a pointed look at our young friend, the Astronomer.]
It is n't but a little while longer that we are going to be together, and I want to say to you gentlemen, as I mean to say to the others and as I have said to our two ladies, that I feel more obligated to, you for the way you 've treated me than I know very well how to put into words. Boarders sometimes expect too much of the ladies that provides for them. Some days the meals are better than other days; it can't help being so. Sometimes the provision-market is n't well supplied, sometimes the fire in the cooking-stove does n't burn so well as it does other days; sometimes the cook is n't so lucky as she might be. And there is boarders who is always laying in wait for the days when the meals is not quite so good as they commonly be, to pick a quarrel with the one that is trying to serve them so as that they shall be satisfied. But you've all been good and kind to me. I suppose I'm not quite so spry and quick-sighted as I was a dozen years ago, when my boarder wrote that first book so many have asked me about. But—now I'm going to stop taking boarders. I don't believe you'll think much about what I did n't do,—because I couldn't,—but remember that at any rate I tried honestly to serve you. I hope God will bless all that set at my table, old and young, rich and poor, merried and single, and single that hopes soon to be merried. My husband that's dead and gone always believed that we all get to heaven sooner or later,—and sence I've grown older and buried so many that I've loved I've come to feel that perhaps I should meet all of them that I've known here—or at least as many of 'em as I wanted to—in a better world. And though I don't calculate there is any boarding-houses in heaven, I hope I shall some time or other meet them that has set round my table one year after another, all together, where there is no fault-finding with the food and no occasion for it,—and if I do meet them and you there—or anywhere,—if there is anything I can do for you....
It won't be long before we're all together again, and I want to say to you gentlemen, just as I mean to say to everyone else and have said to our two ladies, that I feel more grateful to you for how you’ve treated me than I can really express. Boarders often expect too much from the ladies who take care of them. Some days the meals are better than others; it can't be avoided. Sometimes the market doesn’t have what we need, sometimes the stove doesn’t work as well as it should; and sometimes the cook just isn’t as lucky as she usually is. There are boarders who are always waiting for those days when the meals aren’t quite up to par to pick a fight with the one trying to serve them well. But you’ve all been good and kind to me. I know I’m not as lively and sharp as I was twelve years ago when my boarder wrote that first book that so many have asked me about. But—now I'm going to stop taking boarders. I don’t think you’ll dwell much on what I didn’t do—because I couldn’t—but remember that I honestly tried to serve you. I hope God blesses everyone who has sat at my table, young and old, rich and poor, married and single, and those single who hope to marry soon. My late husband always believed that we all make it to heaven eventually—and as I’ve grown older and buried so many I’ve loved, I’ve come to feel that perhaps I will meet everyone I’ve known here—or at least as many as I’d like to—in a better world. And while I don’t think there are any boarding houses in heaven, I hope I will someday meet all of you who have gathered around my table year after year, all together, where there’s no complaining about the food and no reason to complain—and if I do meet you all there—or anywhere—if there’s anything I can do for you....
.... Poor dear soul! Her ideas had got a little mixed, and her heart was overflowing, and the white handkerchief closed the scene with its timely and greatly needed service.
.... Poor dear soul! Her thoughts were a bit jumbled, and her heart was overflowing, and the white handkerchief wrapped up the moment with its timely and much-needed gesture.
—What a pity, I have often thought, that she came in just at that precise moment! For the old Master was on the point of telling us, and through one of us the reading world,—I mean that fraction of it which has reached this point of the record,—at any rate, of telling you, Beloved, through my pen, his solution of a great problem we all have to deal with. We were some weeks longer together, but he never offered to continue his reading. At length I ventured to give him a hint that our young friend and myself would both of us be greatly gratified if he would begin reading from his unpublished page where he had left off.
—What a pity, I often think, that she arrived at that exact moment! The old Master was about to share with us, and through one of us with the reading world—I mean that part of it that has made it this far in the record—at least to tell you, Beloved, through my writing, his answer to a significant problem we all face. We spent a few more weeks together, but he never offered to continue his reading. Eventually, I took the chance to suggest that our young friend and I would both be thrilled if he could start reading from his unpublished page where he had stopped.
—No, sir,—he said,—better not, better not. That which means so much to me, the writer, might be a disappointment, or at least a puzzle, to you, the listener. Besides, if you'll take my printed book and be at the trouble of thinking over what it says, and put that with what you've heard me say, and then make those comments and reflections which will be suggested to a mind in so many respects like mine as is your own,—excuse my good opinion of myself.
—No, sir,—he said,—let’s not do that. What means so much to me as the writer might end up disappointing you, the listener, or at least leaving you confused. Plus, if you take my printed book, think about what it says, and combine that with what you’ve heard me say, then make your own comments and reflections that come to a mind similar to yours—excuse my confidence in myself.
(It is a high compliment to me, I replied) you will perhaps find you have the elements of the formula and its consequences which I was about to read you. It's quite as well to crack your own filberts as to borrow the use of other people's teeth. I think we will wait awhile before we pour out the Elixir Vitae.
(It is a high compliment to me, I replied) you might find that you have the elements of the formula and its consequences that I was about to share with you. It’s just as good to crack your own nuts as to borrow someone else's teeth. I think we’ll wait a bit before we pour out the Elixir Vitae.
—To tell the honest truth, I suspect the Master has found out that his formula does not hold water quite so perfectly as he was thinking, so long as he kept it to himself, and never thought of imparting it to anybody else. The very minute a thought is threatened with publicity it seems to shrink towards mediocrity, as I have noticed that a great pumpkin, the wonder of a village, seemed to lose at least a third of its dimensions between the field where it grew and the cattle-show fair-table, where it took its place with other enormous pumpkins from other wondering villages. But however that maybe, I shall always regret that I had not the opportunity of judging for myself how completely the Master's formula, which, for him, at least, seemed to have solved the great problem, would have accomplished that desirable end for me.
—To be completely honest, I think the Master has realized that his formula doesn't hold up as well as he thought it did when he kept it to himself and never considered sharing it with anyone else. The moment an idea is at risk of becoming public, it seems to shrink to something average. I've noticed that a giant pumpkin, which is the pride of a village, appears to lose at least a third of its size between the field where it grew and the fair table at the cattle show, where it sits alongside other impressive pumpkins from other amazed villages. But no matter what, I will always regret not having the chance to judge for myself how well the Master's formula, which seemed to solve the big problem for him, would have worked for me.
The Landlady's announcement of her intention to give up keeping boarders was heard with regret by all who met around her table. The Member of the Haouse inquired of me whether I could tell him if the Lamb Tahvern was kept well abaout these times. He knew that members from his place used to stop there, but he hadn't heerd much abaout it of late years. I had to inform him that that fold of rural innocence had long ceased offering its hospitalities to the legislative, flock. He found refuge at last, I have learned, in a great public house in the northern section of the city, where, as he said, the folks all went up stairs in a rat-trap, and the last I heard of him was looking out of his somewhat elevated attic-window in a northwesterly direction in hopes that he might perhaps get a sight of the Grand Monadnock, a mountain in New Hampshire which I have myself seen from the top of Bunker Hill Monument.
The landlady's announcement that she was planning to stop taking in boarders was met with disappointment by everyone gathered around her table. The member of the House asked me if I could tell him whether the Lamb Tavern was still running well these days. He knew that members from his area used to stay there, but he hadn't heard much about it in recent years. I had to let him know that that quaint place of rural charm had long stopped welcoming the legislative crowd. I later learned that he found a place to stay in a large pub in the northern part of the city, where, as he described it, everyone had to go upstairs in a cramped space, and the last I heard of him, he was looking out from his somewhat elevated attic window toward the northwest, hoping he might catch a glimpse of Grand Monadnock, a mountain in New Hampshire that I myself have seen from the top of Bunker Hill Monument.
The Member of the Haouse seems to have been more in a hurry to find a new resting-place than the other boarders. By the first of January, however, our whole company was scattered, never to meet again around the board where we had been so long together.
The Member of the House seems to have been more eager to find a new place to stay than the other boarders. By January 1st, though, our entire group was scattered, never to gather again around the table where we had spent so much time together.
The Lady moved to the house where she had passed many of her prosperous years. It had been occupied by a rich family who had taken it nearly as it stood, and as the pictures had been dusted regularly, and the books had never been handled, she found everything in many respects as she had left it, and in some points improved, for the rich people did not know what else to do, and so they spent money without stint on their house and its adornments, by all of which she could not help profiting. I do not choose to give the street and number of the house where she lives, but a-great many poor people know very well where it is, and as a matter of course the rich ones roll up to her door in their carriages by the dozen every fine Monday while anybody is in town.
The Lady moved back to the house where she had spent many of her successful years. It had been occupied by a wealthy family who had taken it almost exactly as it was, and since the pictures had been regularly dusted and the books had never been touched, she found everything, in many ways, just as she had left it, with some improvements. The wealthy occupants didn’t know what else to do, so they spent money freely on the house and its decorations, which benefited her in more ways than one. I won't disclose the street and number of the house where she lives, but plenty of less fortunate people are well aware of its location, and, naturally, the wealthy regularly arrive at her door in their carriages, dozens at a time, every nice Monday while anyone’s in town.
It is whispered that our two young folks are to be married before another season, and that the Lady has asked them to come and stay with her for a while. Our Scheherezade is to write no more stories. It is astonishing to see what a change for the better in her aspect a few weeks of brain-rest and heart's ease have wrought in her. I doubt very much whether she ever returns to literary labor. The work itself was almost heart-breaking, but the effect upon her of the sneers and cynical insolences of the literary rough who came at her in mask and brass knuckles was to give her what I fear will be a lifelong disgust against any writing for the public, especially in any of the periodicals. I am not sorry that she should stop writing, but I am sorry that she should have been silenced in such a rude way. I doubt, too, whether the Young Astronomer will pass the rest of his life in hunting for comets and planets. I think he has found an attraction that will call him down from the celestial luminaries to a light not less pure and far less remote. And I am inclined to believe that the best answer to many of those questions which have haunted him and found expression in his verse will be reached by a very different channel from that of lonely contemplation, the duties, the cares, the responsible realities of a life drawn out of itself by the power of newly awakened instincts and affections. The double star was prophetic,—I thought it would be.
It’s rumored that our two young people are going to get married before the next season, and that the Lady has invited them to come and stay with her for a while. Our Scheherezade is done writing stories. It’s amazing to see how much better she looks after just a few weeks of taking a break and finding peace. I seriously doubt she’ll ever return to writing. The work was nearly heartbreaking, but the impact of the mocking and cynical attitudes from the literary bullies who attacked her was likely to give her a lasting aversion to writing for the public, especially for magazines. I’m not unhappy that she’s stopping writing, but I regret that she was forced to quit in such a harsh manner. I also doubt that the Young Astronomer will spend the rest of his life chasing comets and planets. I think he’s discovered a pull that will bring him down from the stars to a light that’s just as pure but much closer. I believe that the best answers to the many questions that have troubled him and inspired his poetry will come through very different means than lonely contemplation—the duties, worries, and responsibilities of a life enriched by newly discovered instincts and feelings
The Register of Deeds is understood to have been very handsomely treated by the boarder who owes her good fortune to his sagacity and activity. He has engaged apartments at a very genteel boarding-house not far from the one where we have all been living. The Salesman found it a simple matter to transfer himself to an establishment over the way; he had very little to move, and required very small accommodations.
The Register of Deeds seems to have been treated very well by the boarder who owes his good fortune to his cleverness and hard work. He has rented a room at a nice boarding house not far from where we've all been staying. The Salesman found it easy to move to a place across the street; he didn’t have much to take with him and needed very minimal accommodations.
The Capitalist, however, seems to have felt it impossible to move without ridding himself of a part at—least of his encumbrances. The community was startled by the announcement that a citizen who did not wish his name to be known had made a free gift of a large sum of money—it was in tens of thousands—to an institution of long standing and high character in the city of which he was a quiet resident. The source of such a gift could not long be kept secret. It, was our economical, not to say parsimonious Capitalist who had done this noble act, and the poor man had to skulk through back streets and keep out of sight, as if he were a show character in a travelling caravan, to avoid the acknowledgments of his liberality, which met him on every hand and put him fairly out of countenance.
The Capitalist, however, seemed to feel it was impossible to move forward without getting rid of at least some of his burdens. The community was shocked by the announcement that a citizen who wished to remain anonymous had made a generous donation of a large sum of money—amounting to tens of thousands—to a well-established and reputable institution in the city where he quietly lived. The source of such a donation couldn’t be kept secret for long. It was our practical, if not stingy, Capitalist who had performed this generous act, and he had to sneak through back streets and stay out of sight, as if he were a performer in a traveling circus, to avoid the praise for his generosity that confronted him at every turn and left him completely embarrassed.
That Boy has gone, in virtue of a special invitation, to make a visit of indefinite length at the house of the father of the older boy, whom we know by the name of Johnny. Of course he is having a good time, for Johnny's father is full of fun, and tells first-rate stories, and if neither of the boys gets his brains kicked out by the pony, or blows himself up with gunpowder, or breaks through the ice and gets drowned, they will have a fine time of it this winter.
That Boy has left, thanks to a special invitation, to visit the house of Johnny's dad, who we've come to know. Of course, he's having a blast because Johnny's dad is always fun, tells great stories, and if neither of the boys gets hurt by the pony, blows themselves up with gunpowder, or falls through the ice and drowns, they'll have an awesome time this winter.
The Scarabee could not bear to remove his collections, and the old Master was equally unwilling to disturb his books. It was arranged, therefore, that they should keep their apartments until the new tenant should come into the house, when, if they were satisfied with her management, they would continue as her boarders.
The Scarabee couldn't bring himself to take down his collections, and the old Master was just as hesitant to disrupt his books. So, they agreed to stay in their rooms until the new tenant moved in, and if they were happy with how she managed things, they would keep living there as her boarders.
The last time I saw the Scarabee he was still at work on the meloe question. He expressed himself very pleasantly towards all of us, his fellow-boarders, and spoke of the kindness and consideration with which the Landlady had treated him when he had been straitened at times for want of means. Especially he seemed to be interested in our young couple who were soon to be united. His tired old eyes glistened as he asked about them,—could it be that their little romance recalled some early vision of his own? However that may be, he got up presently and went to a little box in which, as he said, he kept some choice specimens. He brought to me in his hand something which glittered. It was an exquisite diamond beetle.
The last time I saw the Scarabee, he was still working on the meloe question. He spoke very warmly to all of us, his fellow boarders, and mentioned the kindness and consideration the landlady had shown him when he sometimes struggled financially. He seemed especially interested in our young couple who were about to get married. His tired old eyes sparkled as he asked about them—could it be that their little romance reminded him of an early memory of his own? Whatever the case, he soon got up and went to a small box where, as he said, he kept some special specimens. He brought me something that sparkled in his hand. It was an exquisite diamond beetle.
—If you could get that to her,—he said,—they tell me that ladies sometimes wear them in their hair. If they are out of fashion, she can keep it till after they're married, and then perhaps after a while there may be—you know—you know what I mean—there may be larvae, that 's what I 'm thinking there may be, and they 'll like to look at it.
—If you could give that to her,—he said,—I’ve heard that women sometimes wear them in their hair. If they’re out of style, she can hold onto it until after they’re married, and then maybe later—well, you know what I mean—there might be—let's say—larvae, that’s what I’m thinking there could be, and they’ll enjoy looking at it.
—As he got out the word larvae, a faint sense of the ridiculous seemed to take hold of the Scarabee, and for the first and only time during my acquaintance with him a slight attempt at a smile showed itself on his features. It was barely perceptible and gone almost as soon as seen, yet I am pleased to put it on record that on one occasion at least in his life the Scarabee smiled.
—As he said the word larvae, a slight sense of the ridiculous seemed to come over the Scarabee, and for the first and only time during my time with him, a faint hint of a smile appeared on his face. It was barely noticeable and disappeared almost immediately, but I’m happy to note that at least once in his life, the Scarabee smiled.
The old Master keeps adding notes and reflections and new suggestions to his interleaved volume, but I doubt if he ever gives them to the public. The study he has proposed to himself does not grow easier the longer it is pursued. The whole Order of Things can hardly be completely unravelled in any single person's lifetime, and I suspect he will have to adjourn the final stage of his investigations to that more luminous realm where the Landlady hopes to rejoin the company of boarders who are nevermore to meet around her cheerful and well-ordered table.
The old Master keeps adding notes, thoughts, and new suggestions to his interleaved volume, but I doubt he ever shares them with the public. The study he’s taken on doesn’t get any easier the longer he works on it. The entire system of things is unlikely to be fully understood in anyone's lifetime, and I suspect he’ll have to postpone the final part of his research to that brighter place where the Landlady hopes to reunite with the boarders who will never gather again around her cheerful and well-organized table.
The curtain has now fallen, and I show myself a moment before it to thank my audience and say farewell. The second comer is commonly less welcome than the first, and the third makes but a rash venture. I hope I have not wholly disappointed those who have been so kind to my predecessors.
The curtain has now come down, and I step forward for a moment to thank my audience and say goodbye. The second person is usually less welcomed than the first, and the third is taking a risky chance. I hope I haven't completely let down those who have been so kind to my predecessors.
To you, Beloved, who have never failed to cut the leaves which hold my record, who have never nodded over its pages, who have never hesitated in your allegiance, who have greeted me with unfailing smiles and part from me with unfeigned regrets, to you I look my last adieu as I bow myself out of sight, trusting my poor efforts to your always kind remembrance.
To you, my dear, who have always been there to trim the leaves that hold my story, who have never dozed off while reading its pages, who have never wavered in your loyalty, who have welcomed me with constant smiles and said goodbye with genuine sadness, I offer my final farewell as I step out of view, trusting that you will always remember my humble efforts kindly.
EPILOGUE TO THE BREAKFAST-TABLE SERIES AUTOCRAT—PROFESSOR—POET. AT A BOOKSTORE. Anno Domini 1972. A crazy bookcase, placed before A low-price dealer's open door; Therein arrayed in broken rows A ragged crew of rhyme and prose, The homeless vagrants, waifs and strays Whose low estate this line betrays (Set forth the lesser birds to lime) YOUR CHOICE AMONG THESE BOOKS, 1 DIME! Ho! dealer; for its motto's sake This scarecrow from the shelf I take; Three starveling volumes bound in one, Its covers warping in the sun. Methinks it hath a musty smell, I like its flavor none too well, But Yorick's brain was far from dull, Though Hamlet pah!'d, and dropped his skull. Why, here comes rain! The sky grows dark, —Was that the roll of thunder? Hark! The shop affords a safe retreat, A chair extends its welcome seat, The tradesman has a civil look (I've paid, impromptu, for my book), The clouds portend a sudden shower, I'll read my purchase for an hour. .............. What have I rescued from the shelf? A Boswell, writing out himself! For though he changes dress and name, The man beneath is still the same, Laughing or sad, by fits and starts, One actor in a dozen parts, And whatsoe'er the mask may be, The voice assures us, This is he. I say not this to cry him clown; I find my Shakespeare in his clown, His rogues the self-same parent own; Nay! Satan talks in Milton's tone! Where'er the ocean inlet strays, The salt sea wave its source betrays, Where'er the queen of summer blows, She tells the zephyr, “I'm the rose!” And his is not the playwright's page; His table does not ape the stage; What matter if the figures seen Are only shadows on a screen, He finds in them his lurking thought, And on their lips the words he sought, Like one who sits before the keys And plays a tune himself to please. And was he noted in his day? Read, flattered, honored? Who shall say? Poor wreck of time the wave has cast To find a peaceful shore at last, Once glorying in thy gilded name And freighted deep with hopes of fame, Thy leaf is moistened with a tear, The first for many a long, long year! For be it more or less of art That veils the lowliest human heart Where passion throbs, where friendship glows, Where pity's tender tribute flows, Where love has lit its fragrant fire, And sorrow quenched its vain desire, For me the altar is divine, Its flame, its ashes,—all are mine! And thou, my brother, as I look And see thee pictured in thy book, Thy years on every page confessed In shadows lengthening from the west, Thy glance that wanders, as it sought Some freshly opening flower of thought, Thy hopeful nature, light and free, I start to find myself in thee! Come, vagrant, outcast, wretch forlorn In leather jerkin stained and torn, Whose talk has filled my idle hour And made me half forget the shower, I'll do at least as much for you, Your coat I'll patch, your gilt renew, Read you,—perhaps,—some other time. Not bad, my bargain! Price one dime! Not bad, my bargain! Price one dime!
EPILOGUE TO THE BREAKFAST-TABLE SERIES AUTOCRAT—PROFESSOR—POET. AT A BOOKSTORE. Anno Domini 1972. A crazy bookcase, set up in front of A discount dealer's open door; There lined up in disorganized rows A ragtag crew of verse and prose, The homeless drifters, waifs, and strays Whose low status this line reveals (Set forth the lesser birds to lure) YOUR CHOICE AMONG THESE BOOKS, 1 DIME! Hey! dealer; for its motto's sake This scarecrow from the shelf I take; Three starving volumes bound as one, Their covers warped by the sun. It has a musty smell, I swear, I don't really like its flavor, But Yorick's mind was far from dull, Even though Hamlet dropped his skull. Oh look! here comes the rain! The sky turns dark, —Was that the sound of thunder? Listen! The shop provides a safe place, A chair offers its welcome seat, The shopkeeper has a friendly look (I've casually paid for my book), The clouds signal a sudden shower, I'll read my purchase for an hour. .............. What have I rescued from the shelf? A Boswell, writing about himself! For though he changes clothes and name, The person underneath stays the same, Laughing or sad, in fits and starts, One actor in a dozen parts, And whatever the mask may be, The voice assures us, This is he. I'm not saying this to mock him; I find my Shakespeare in his jester, His rogues share the same parentage; Nay! Satan speaks in Milton's voice! Wherever the ocean inlet strays, The salt sea wave reveals its source, Wherever the queen of summer blows, She tells the breeze, “I’m the rose!” And his is not the playwright's page; His table doesn’t imitate the stage; What matters if the figures seen Are only shadows on a screen, He finds in them his hidden thoughts, And on their lips the words he sought, Like someone sitting at the keys And playing a tune just to please himself. And was he recognized in his day? Read, praised, honored? Who can say? Poor relic of time that the wave has cast To find a peaceful shore at last, Once glorying in your gilded name And loaded heavy with hopes of fame, Your leaf is moistened with a tear, The first for many a long, long year! For whether it's more or less of art That covers the humblest human heart Where passion beats, where friendship glows, Where pity's gentle tribute flows, Where love has kindled its fragrant fire, And sorrow has quenched its vain desire, To me, the altar is divine, Its flame, its ashes—all are mine! And you, my brother, as I look And see you portrayed in your book, Your years on every page revealed In shadows lengthening from the west, Your glance that wanders, as it seeks Some newly blooming flower of thought, Your hopeful nature, light and free, I start to find myself in you! Come, vagrant, outcast, wretch forlorn In tattered leather clothes, stained and torn, Whose words have filled my idle hour And made me half forget the shower, I’ll do at least as much for you, Your coat I'll mend, your gold renew, Read you—maybe—some other time. Not bad, my deal! Price one dime! Not bad, my deal! Price one dime!
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