This is a modern-English version of Five Tales, originally written by Galsworthy, John. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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FIVE TALES



By John Galsworthy





“Life calls the tune, we dance.”
“Life sets the rhythm, we move to it.”










INDIAN SUMMER OF A FORSYTE is also posted as Etext #2594
[In the present 1919 edition of “Five Tales” the fifth tale was “Indian
Summer of a Forsyte;” in later collections, “Indian Summer...” became
the first section of the second volume of The Forsyte Saga]

INDIAN SUMMER OF A FORSYTE is also listed as Etext #2594
[In the 1919 edition of “Five Tales,” the fifth story was “Indian
Summer of a Forsyte;” in later collections, “Indian Summer...” became
the first part of the second volume of The Forsyte Saga]






THE FIRST AND LAST

“So the last shall be first, and the first last.”—HOLY WRIT.
“So the last will be first, and the first will be last.” —HOLY WRIT.

It was a dark room at that hour of six in the evening, when just the single oil reading-lamp under its green shade let fall a dapple of light over the Turkey carpet; over the covers of books taken out of the bookshelves, and the open pages of the one selected; over the deep blue and gold of the coffee service on the little old stool with its Oriental embroidery. Very dark in the winter, with drawn curtains, many rows of leather-bound volumes, oak-panelled walls and ceiling. So large, too, that the lighted spot before the fire where he sat was just an oasis. But that was what Keith Darrant liked, after his day's work—the hard early morning study of his “cases,” the fret and strain of the day in court; it was his rest, these two hours before dinner, with books, coffee, a pipe, and sometimes a nap. In red Turkish slippers and his old brown velvet coat, he was well suited to that framing of glow and darkness. A painter would have seized avidly on his clear-cut, yellowish face, with its black eyebrows twisting up over eyes—grey or brown, one could hardly tell, and its dark grizzling hair still plentiful, in spite of those daily hours of wig. He seldom thought of his work while he sat there, throwing off with practised ease the strain of that long attention to the multiple threads of argument and evidence to be disentangled—work profoundly interesting, as a rule, to his clear intellect, trained to almost instinctive rejection of all but the essential, to selection of what was legally vital out of the mass of confused tactical and human detail presented to his scrutiny; yet sometimes tedious and wearing. As for instance to-day, when he had suspected his client of perjury, and was almost convinced that he must throw up his brief. He had disliked the weak-looking, white-faced fellow from the first, and his nervous, shifty answers, his prominent startled eyes—a type too common in these days of canting tolerations and weak humanitarianism; no good, no good!

It was a dim room at six in the evening, with just a single oil reading lamp under its green shade casting a patch of light over the Turkish carpet, the covers of books taken from the shelves, and the open pages of the chosen one. It lit up the deep blue and gold of the coffee service on the small old stool with its Oriental embroidery. Very dark in the winter, with the curtains drawn, many rows of leather-bound books, oak-paneled walls, and ceiling. It was so big that the illuminated spot in front of the fire where he sat felt like an oasis. But that was exactly what Keith Darrant liked after his day’s work—the intense early morning study of his “cases,” the stress and pressure of the day in court; these two hours before dinner, with books, coffee, a pipe, and sometimes a nap were his time to unwind. Dressed in red Turkish slippers and his old brown velvet coat, he fit right into the mix of light and darkness. A painter would have eagerly captured his sharply defined, yellowish face, with black eyebrows arching over eyes—grey or brown, it was hard to tell—and his dark, graying hair still thick despite those daily hours of wearing a wig. He rarely thought of his work while sitting there, effortlessly shaking off the fatigue from his intense focus on the many arguments and pieces of evidence that needed untangling—work that was usually deeply interesting to his sharp mind, trained to instinctively filter out everything but the essentials and highlight what was legally crucial among the chaotic details presented to him; yet, at times, it could be tedious and draining. Like today, for example, when he suspected his client of lying and was almost convinced he needed to give up his case. He had disliked the weak-looking, pale man from the start, with his nervous, evasive answers and wide, frightened eyes—a type too common these days with their hollow tolerances and weak humanitarianism; no good, no good!

Of the three books he had taken down, a Volume of Voltaire—curious fascination that Frenchman had, for all his destructive irony!—a volume of Burton's travels, and Stevenson's “New Arabian Nights,” he had pitched upon the last. He felt, that evening, the want of something sedative, a desire to rest from thought of any kind. The court had been crowded, stuffy; the air, as he walked home, soft, sou'-westerly, charged with coming moisture, no quality of vigour in it; he felt relaxed, tired, even nervy, and for once the loneliness of his house seemed strange and comfortless.

Of the three books he had taken down, a volume of Voltaire—what an intriguing guy that Frenchman was, despite his sharp irony!—a volume of Burton's travels, and Stevenson's “New Arabian Nights,” he chose the last one. That evening, he felt the need for something calming, a desire to take a break from any kind of thinking. The court had been crowded and stuffy; the air, as he walked home, was soft, coming from the south-west, heavy with impending rain, lacking any refreshing quality; he felt relaxed, tired, even on edge, and for once, the solitude of his house felt strange and unwelcoming.

Lowering the lamp, he turned his face towards the fire. Perhaps he would get a sleep before that boring dinner at the Tellasson's. He wished it were vacation, and Maisie back from school. A widower for many years, he had lost the habit of a woman about him; yet to-night he had a positive yearning for the society of his young daughter, with her quick ways, and bright, dark eyes. Curious what perpetual need of a woman some men had! His brother Laurence—wasted—all through women—atrophy of willpower! A man on the edge of things; living from hand to mouth; his gifts all down at heel! One would have thought the Scottish strain might have saved him; and yet, when a Scotsman did begin to go downhill, who could go faster? Curious that their mother's blood should have worked so differently in her two sons. He himself had always felt he owed all his success to it.

Lowering the lamp, he turned his face toward the fire. Maybe he could catch a nap before that dull dinner at the Tellassons'. He wished it were vacation and that Maisie was back from school. A widower for many years, he had lost the habit of having a woman around; yet tonight he felt a real longing for the company of his young daughter, with her lively nature and bright, dark eyes. It was strange how some men had an endless need for a woman! His brother Laurence—wasted—all because of women—losing his willpower! A man on the edge, living hand to mouth; his talents all faded away! One would have thought the Scottish blood might have saved him; yet when a Scotsman starts to decline, who can fall faster? It was odd how their mother's blood had influenced her two sons so differently. He had always believed he owed his success to it.

His thoughts went off at a tangent to a certain issue troubling his legal conscience. He had not wavered in the usual assumption of omniscience, but he was by no means sure that he had given right advice. Well! Without that power to decide and hold to decision in spite of misgiving, one would never have been fit for one's position at the Bar, never have been fit for anything. The longer he lived, the more certain he became of the prime necessity of virile and decisive action in all the affairs of life. A word and a blow—and the blow first! Doubts, hesitations, sentiment the muling and puking of this twilight age—! And there welled up on his handsome face a smile that was almost devilish—the tricks of firelight are so many! It faded again in sheer drowsiness; he slept....

His thoughts drifted to a particular issue bothering his legal conscience. He hadn't strayed from the usual belief in his all-knowingness, but he wasn't entirely sure he had given the right advice. Well! Without the ability to make decisions and stick to them despite any doubts, one would never be fit for their position at the Bar, or for anything else. The longer he lived, the more he realized that decisive and strong action is essential in all aspects of life. A word and a punch—and the punch should come first! Doubts, hesitations, sentiment—just the whining and whining of this confusing era—! A smile that was almost devilish appeared on his handsome face; the tricks of firelight are endless! It faded away in sheer drowsiness; he fell asleep...

He woke with a start, having a feeling of something out beyond the light, and without turning his head said: “What's that?” There came a sound as if somebody had caught his breath. He turned up the lamp.

He woke up suddenly, sensing something out beyond the light, and without turning his head, said, “What’s that?” There was a sound like someone catching their breath. He turned up the lamp.

“Who's there?”

“Who’s there?”

A voice over by the door answered:

A voice by the door replied:

“Only I—Larry.”

"Just me—Larry."

Something in the tone, or perhaps just being startled out of sleep like this, made him shiver. He said:

Something about the tone, or maybe just being abruptly woken up like this, made him shiver. He said:

“I was asleep. Come in!”

"I was asleep. Come in!"

It was noticeable that he did not get up, or even turn his head, now that he knew who it was, but waited, his half-closed eyes fixed on the fire, for his brother to come forward. A visit from Laurence was not an unmixed blessing. He could hear him breathing, and became conscious of a scent of whisky. Why could not the fellow at least abstain when he was coming here! It was so childish, so lacking in any sense of proportion or of decency! And he said sharply:

It was obvious that he didn’t get up or even turn his head now that he knew who it was, but waited, his half-closed eyes locked on the fire, for his brother to come forward. A visit from Laurence was not a purely good thing. He could hear him breathing and noticed a whiff of whisky. Why couldn’t the guy at least stay sober when he came over? It was so immature, so lacking any sense of balance or decency! And he said sharply:

“Well, Larry, what is it?”

"What's up, Larry?"

It was always something. He often wondered at the strength of that sense of trusteeship, which kept him still tolerant of the troubles, amenable to the petitions of this brother of his; or was it just “blood” feeling, a Highland sense of loyalty to kith and kin; an old-time quality which judgment and half his instincts told him was weakness but which, in spite of all, bound him to the distressful fellow? Was he drunk now, that he kept lurking out there by the door? And he said less sharply:

It was always something. He often marveled at the strength of that feeling of responsibility that made him still patient with the troubles, open to the requests of this brother of his; or was it just "blood" loyalty, a Highland sense of allegiance to family; an old-fashioned trait that his judgment and half of his instincts told him was a weakness, but which, despite everything, tied him to the troubled guy? Was he drunk now, lingering out there by the door? And he said less sharply:

“Why don't you come and sit down?”

“Why don’t you come and take a seat?”

He was coming now, avoiding the light, skirting along the walls just beyond the radiance of the lamp, his feet and legs to the waist brightly lighted, but his face disintegrated in shadow, like the face of a dark ghost.

He was approaching now, steering clear of the light, staying close to the walls just outside the glow of the lamp. His feet and legs to the waist were brightly illuminated, but his face was lost in shadow, like that of a dark specter.

“Are you ill, man?”

"Are you sick, man?"

Still no answer, save a shake of that head, and the passing up of a hand, out of the light, to the ghostly forehead under the dishevelled hair. The scent of whisky was stronger now; and Keith thought:

Still no answer, just a shake of that head and a hand moving away from the light, brushing against the ghostly forehead beneath the messy hair. The smell of whisky was stronger now; and Keith thought:

'He really is drunk. Nice thing for the new butler to see! If he can't behave—'

'He really is drunk. Great thing for the new butler to witness! If he can't behave—'

The figure against the wall heaved a sigh—so truly from an overburdened heart that Keith was conscious with a certain dismay of not having yet fathomed the cause of this uncanny silence. He got up, and, back to the fire, said with a brutality born of nerves rather than design:

The figure against the wall let out a heavy sigh—so genuinely from a troubled heart that Keith felt a twinge of worry for not having figured out the reason behind this strange silence. He stood up and, turning his back to the fire, said with a harshness that came more from anxiety than intention:

“What is it, man? Have you committed a murder, that you stand there dumb as a fish?”

“What’s going on, man? Did you kill someone, that you’re standing there like a deer in headlights?”

For a second no answer at all, not even of breathing; then, just the whisper:

For a moment, there was complete silence, not even the sound of breathing; then, just a whisper:

“Yes.”

"Yes."

The sense of unreality which so helps one at moments of disaster enabled Keith to say vigorously:

The feeling of being in a dream that often helps people in times of crisis allowed Keith to say firmly:

“By Jove! You have been drinking!”

“Wow! You’ve been partying!”

But it passed at once into deadly apprehension.

But it quickly turned into a feeling of intense fear.

“What do you mean? Come here, where I can see you. What's the matter with you, Larry?”

“What do you mean? Come here so I can see you. What's wrong, Larry?”

With a sudden lurch and dive, his brother left the shelter of the shadow, and sank into a chair in the circle of light. And another long, broken sigh escaped him.

With a sudden lurch and dive, his brother stepped out of the shadows and sank into a chair in the light. Another long, broken sigh escaped him.

“There's nothing the matter with me, Keith! It's true!”

“There's nothing wrong with me, Keith! It's true!”

Keith stepped quickly forward, and stared down into his brother's face; and instantly he saw that it was true. No one could have simulated the look in those eyes—of horrified wonder, as if they would never again get on terms with the face to which they belonged. To see them squeezed the heart-only real misery could look like that. Then that sudden pity became angry bewilderment.

Keith stepped quickly forward and looked down into his brother's face, and right away he realized it was true. No one could fake that look in those eyes—filled with horrified wonder, as if they'd never be able to connect with the face they belonged to again. Seeing them crushed his heart—only real misery could look like that. Then that sudden pity turned into angry confusion.

“What in God's name is this nonsense?”

“What on earth is this nonsense?”

But it was significant that he lowered his voice; went over to the door, too, to see if it were shut. Laurence had drawn his chair forward, huddling over the fire—a thin figure, a worn, high-cheekboned face with deep-sunk blue eyes, and wavy hair all ruffled, a face that still had a certain beauty. Putting a hand on that lean shoulder, Keith said:

But it was important that he lowered his voice and went over to the door to check if it was closed. Laurence had pulled his chair closer, huddling over the fire—a lean figure, with a worn, high-cheekboned face, deep-set blue eyes, and messy wavy hair, a face that still had a certain beauty. Placing a hand on that thin shoulder, Keith said:

“Come, Larry! Pull yourself together, and drop exaggeration.”

“Come on, Larry! Get a grip and stop exaggerating.”

“It's true; I tell you; I've killed a man.”

“It's true; I swear; I've killed someone.”

The noisy violence of that outburst acted like a douche. What was the fellow about—shouting out such words! But suddenly Laurence lifted his hands and wrung them. The gesture was so utterly painful that it drew a quiver from Keith's face.

The loud chaos of that outburst was like a shock to the system. What was the guy thinking—yelling such things! But suddenly, Laurence raised his hands and squeezed them. The gesture was so deeply painful that it caused a shudder on Keith's face.

“Why did you come here,” he said, “and tell me this?”

“Why did you come here,” he asked, “and tell me this?”

Larry's face was really unearthly sometimes, such strange gleams passed up on to it!

Larry's face could look otherworldly at times, with such strange glimmers appearing on it!

“Whom else should I tell? I came to know what I'm to do, Keith? Give myself up, or what?”

“Who else am I supposed to tell? Do I even know what I’m supposed to do, Keith? Should I just give myself up, or what?”

At that sudden introduction of the practical Keith felt his heart twitch. Was it then as real as all that? But he said, very quietly:

At that sudden introduction of the practical, Keith felt his heart tremble. Was it really as real as that? But he said, very softly:

“Just tell me—How did it come about, this—affair?”

“Just tell me—How did this whole thing happen?”

That question linked the dark, gruesome, fantastic nightmare on to actuality.

That question connected the dark, gruesome, fantastical nightmare to reality.

“When did it happen?”

“When did it occur?”

“Last night.”

“Last night.”

In Larry's face there was—there had always been—something childishly truthful. He would never stand a chance in court! And Keith said:

In Larry's face, there was—there had always been—something childishly honest. He would never stand a chance in court! And Keith said:

“How? Where? You'd better tell me quietly from the beginning. Drink this coffee; it'll clear your head.”

“How? Where? You should probably start from the beginning and tell me quietly. Drink this coffee; it’ll help you think straight.”

Laurence took the little blue cup and drained it.

Laurence picked up the small blue cup and finished it off.

“Yes,” he said. “It's like this, Keith. There's a girl I've known for some months now—”

“Yes,” he said. “It's like this, Keith. There's a girl I've known for a few months now—”

Women! And Keith said between his teeth: “Well?”

Women! And Keith said through clenched teeth: “Well?”

“Her father was a Pole who died over here when she was sixteen, and left her all alone. A man called Walenn, a mongrel American, living in the same house, married her, or pretended to—she's very pretty, Keith—he left her with a baby six months old, and another coming. That one died, and she did nearly. Then she starved till another fellow took her on. She lived with him two years; then Walenn turned up again, and made her go back to him. The brute used to beat her black and blue, all for nothing. Then he left her again. When I met her she'd lost her elder child, too, and was taking anybody who came along.”

“Her father was a Pole who died here when she was sixteen, leaving her all alone. A guy named Walenn, a mixed-race American living in the same house, married her, or at least acted like it—she's really pretty, Keith—he left her with a six-month-old baby and another one on the way. That one died, and she nearly did too. Then she struggled until another dude took her in. She lived with him for two years; then Walenn showed up again and forced her to go back to him. The jerk used to beat her up for no reason. Then he left her again. When I met her, she had lost her older child too and was taking in anyone who came along.”

He suddenly looked up into Keith's face.

He suddenly looked up at Keith.

“But I've never met a sweeter woman, nor a truer, that I swear. Woman! She's only twenty now! When I went to her last night, that brute—that Walenn—had found her out again; and when he came for me, swaggering and bullying—Look!”—he touched a dark mark on his forehead—“I took his throat in my hands, and when I let go—”

“But I've never met a sweeter woman, or a truer one, I swear. Woman! She’s only twenty now! When I went to see her last night, that brute—that Walenn—had discovered her again; and when he came for me, swaggering and bullying—Look!”—he pointed to a dark mark on his forehead—“I grabbed his throat with my hands, and when I let go—”

“Yes?”

“Yeah?”

“Dead. I never knew till afterwards that she was hanging on to him behind.”

“Dead. I didn’t realize until later that she was holding on to him from behind.”

Again he made that gesture-wringing his hands.

Again he made that gesture—wringing his hands.

In a hard voice Keith said:

In a harsh tone, Keith said:

“What did you do then?”

“What did you do next?”

“We sat by it a long time. Then I carried it on my back down the street, round a corner to an archway.”

“We sat next to it for a long time. Then I carried it on my back down the street, around a corner to an archway.”

“How far?”

"How far is it?"

“About fifty yards.”

"About fifty meters."

“Was anyone—did anyone see?”

“Did anyone see?”

“No.”

“Nope.”

“What time?”

"What time is it?"

“Three.”

“3.”

“And then?”

“What's next?”

“Went back to her.”

"Returned to her."

“Why—in Heaven's name?”

“Why on Earth?”

“She was lonely and afraid; so was I, Keith.”

“She was lonely and scared; so was I, Keith.”

“Where is this place?”

"Where is this location?"

“Forty-two, Borrow Street, Soho.”

"42, Borrow Street, Soho."

“And the archway?”

“And the doorway?”

“Corner of Glove Lane.”

“Corner of Glove Lane.”

“Good God! Why—I saw it in the paper!”

“Good God! Why—I saw it in the news!”

And seizing the journal that lay on his bureau, Keith read again that paragraph: “The body of a man was found this morning under an archway in Glove Lane, Soho. From marks about the throat grave suspicions of foul play are entertained. The body had apparently been robbed, and nothing was discovered leading to identification.”

And grabbing the journal that sat on his desk, Keith read that paragraph again: “A man's body was found this morning under an archway in Glove Lane, Soho. From the marks around the throat, serious suspicions of foul play are raised. The body seems to have been robbed, and nothing was found that could help identify him.”

It was real earnest, then. Murder! His own brother! He faced round and said:

It was serious, then. Murder! His own brother! He turned around and said:

“You saw this in the paper, and dreamed it. Understand—you dreamed it!”

“You saw this in the news, and you dreamed it. Just understand—you dreamed it!”

The wistful answer came:

The nostalgic answer came:

“If only I had, Keith—if only I had!”

“If only I had, Keith—if only I had!”

In his turn, Keith very nearly wrung his hands.

In his turn, Keith almost wrung his hands.

“Did you take anything from the—body?”

“Did you take anything from the—body?”

“This dropped while we were struggling.”

“This fell while we were struggling.”

It was an empty envelope with a South American post-mark addressed: “Patrick Walenn, Simon's Hotel, Farrier Street, London.” Again with that twitching in his heart, Keith said:

It was an empty envelope with a South American postmark addressed to: “Patrick Walenn, Simon's Hotel, Farrier Street, London.” Again feeling that twitch in his heart, Keith said:

“Put it in the fire.”

“Throw it in the fire.”

Then suddenly he stooped to pluck it out. By that command—he had—identified himself with this—this—But he did not pluck it out. It blackened, writhed, and vanished. And once more he said:

Then suddenly he bent down to pull it out. By doing that, he connected himself to this—this—But he didn't pull it out. It darkened, twisted, and disappeared. And once again he said:

“What in God's name made you come here and tell me?”

“What on earth made you come here and tell me?”

“You know about these things. I didn't mean to kill him. I love the girl. What shall I do, Keith?

“You know about these things. I didn't mean to kill him. I love the girl. What should I do, Keith?

“Simple! How simple! To ask what he was to do! It was like Larry! And he said:

“Simple! How simple! To ask what he was supposed to do! It was just like Larry! And he said:

“You were not seen, you think?” “It's a dark street. There was no one about.”

“You think no one saw you?” “It's a dark street. There was no one around.”

“When did you leave this girl the second time?”

“When did you leave this girl for the second time?”

“About seven o'clock.”

“About 7 PM.”

“Where did you go?”

“Where did you go?”

“To my rooms.”

"To my place."

“In Fitzroy Street?”

"In Fitzroy Street?"

“Yes.”

"Yeah."

“Did anyone see you come in?”

“Did anyone see you walk in?”

“No.”

“Nope.”

“What have you done since?”

“What have you been up to?”

“Sat there.”

"Sat there."

“Not been out?”

"Not gone out?"

“No.”

“Nope.”

“Not seen the girl?”

“Have you seen the girl?”

“No.”

“No.”

“You don't know, then, what she's done since?”

“You don't know what she's been up to since then?”

“No.”

“No.”

“Would she give you away?”

“Would she sell you out?”

“Never.”

"Not ever."

“Would she give herself away—hysteria?”

“Would she reveal herself—hysteria?”

“No.”

“No.”

“Who knows of your relations with her?”

“Who knows about your relationship with her?”

“No one.”

“No one.”

“No one?”

“Is no one here?”

“I don't know who should, Keith.”

“I don’t know who should, Keith.”

“Did anyone see you going in last night, when you first went to her?”

“Did anyone see you go in last night when you first visited her?”

“No. She lives on the ground floor. I've got keys.”

“No. She lives on the first floor. I have the keys.”

“Give them to me. What else have you that connects you with her?”

“Hand them over to me. What else do you have that links you to her?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing.”

“In your rooms?”

“Are you in your rooms?”

“No.”

“No.”

“No photographs. No letters?”

"No pics. No letters?"

“No.”

“Nope.”

“Be careful.”

"Be cautious."

“Nothing.”

“Nothing.”

“No one saw you going back to her the second time?”

“No one saw you going back to her the second time?”

“No.”

“Nope.”

“No one saw you leave her in the morning?”

“No one saw you leave her in the morning?”

“No.”

“No.”

“You were fortunate. Sit down again, man. I must think.”

“You were lucky. Sit down again, man. I need to think.”

Think! Think out this accursed thing—so beyond all thought, and all belief. But he could not think. Not a coherent thought would come. And he began again:

Think! Figure this messed-up situation out—it's beyond anything you can imagine or believe. But he couldn't think. No clear thought would come to him. So he started again:

“Was it his first reappearance with her?”

“Was this his first time being back with her?”

“Yes.”

"Yep."

“She told you so?”

"Did she say that to you?"

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

“How did he find out where she was?”

“How did he find out where she was?”

“I don't know.”

“I don’t know.”

“How drunk were you?”

“How drunk were you?”

“I was not drunk.”

"I wasn't drunk."

“How much had you drunk?”

"How much did you drink?"

“About two bottles of claret—nothing.”

"About two bottles of red wine—nothing."

“You say you didn't mean to kill him?”

“You're saying you didn't mean to kill him?”

“No-God knows!”

“No one knows!”

“That's something.”

"That's something."

“What made you choose the arch?”

“What made you choose the arch?”

“It was the first dark place.”

“It was the first dark place.”

“Did his face look as if he had been strangled?”

“Did his face look like he had been strangled?”

“Don't!”

"Stop!"

“Did it?”

"Did it?"

“Yes.”

"Yep."

“Very disfigured?”

“Really disfigured?”

“Yes.”

“Yep.”

“Did you look to see if his clothes were marked?”

“Did you check to see if his clothes had any labels?”

“No.”

"Nope."

“Why not?”

"Why not?"

“Why not? My God! If you had done it!”

“Why not? Oh my God! If you had actually done it!”

“You say he was disfigured. Would he be recognisable?”

“You say he was disfigured. Would anyone be able to recognize him?”

“I don't know.”

“I don’t know.”

“When she lived with him last—where was that?”

“When she last lived with him—where was that?”

“I don't know for certain. Pimlico, I think.”

“I’m not sure. I think it's Pimlico.”

“Not Soho?”

"Not in Soho?"

“No.”

“Nope.”

“How long has she been at the Soho place?”

“How long has she been at the Soho spot?”

“Nearly a year.”

"Almost a year."

“Always the same rooms?”

"Same rooms again?"

“Yes.”

“Yeah.”

“Is there anyone living in that house or street who would be likely to know her as his wife?”

“Is there anyone living in that house or on this street who might know her as his wife?”

“I don't think so.”

"I don't think so."

“What was he?”

“What was he like?”

“I should think he was a professional 'bully.'.rdquo;

“I would say he was a professional 'bully.'”

“I see. Spending most of his time abroad, then?”

“I get it. So, he spends most of his time overseas, right?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you know if he was known to the police?”

“Do you know if he was on the police's radar?”

“I haven't heard of it.”

"I haven't heard of that."

“Now, listen, Larry. When you leave here go straight home, and don't go out till I come to you, to-morrow morning. Promise that!”

“Now, listen, Larry. When you leave here, go straight home and don’t go out until I come to you tomorrow morning. Promise me that!”

“I promise.”

"I swear."

“I've got a dinner engagement. I'll think this out. Don't drink. Don't talk! Pull yourself together.”

“I have a dinner engagement. I’ll figure this out. Don’t drink. Don’t talk! Get it together.”

“Don't keep me longer than you can help, Keith!”

“Don’t keep me here any longer than necessary, Keith!”

That white face, those eyes, that shaking hand! With a twinge of pity in the midst of all the turbulence of his revolt, and fear, and disgust Keith put his hand on his brother's shoulder, and said:

That pale face, those eyes, that trembling hand! With a bit of pity amid all the chaos of his anger, fear, and disgust, Keith placed his hand on his brother's shoulder and said:

“Courage!”

“Go for it!”

And suddenly he thought: 'My God! Courage! I shall want it all myself!'

And suddenly he thought, "Oh no! I need to be brave! I'll have to do it all myself!"





II

Laurence Darrant, leaving his brother's house in the Adelphi, walked northwards, rapidly, slowly, rapidly again. For, if there are men who by force of will do one thing only at a time, there are men who from lack of will do now one thing, now another; with equal intensity. To such natures, to be gripped by the Nemesis which attends the lack of self-control is no reason for being more self-controlled. Rather does it foster their pet feeling: “What matter? To-morrow we die!” The effort of will required to go to Keith had relieved, exhausted and exasperated him. In accordance with those three feelings was the progress of his walk. He started from the door with the fixed resolve to go home and stay there quietly till Keith came. He was in Keith's hands, Keith would know what was to be done. But he had not gone three hundred yards before he felt so utterly weary, body and soul, that if he had but had a pistol in his pocket he would have shot himself in the street. Not even the thought of the girl—this young unfortunate with her strange devotion, who had kept him straight these last five months, who had roused in him a depth of feeling he had never known before—would have availed against that sudden black defection. Why go on—a waif at the mercy of his own nature, a straw blown here and there by every gust which rose in him? Why not have done with it for ever, and take it out in sleep?

Laurence Darrant left his brother's house in the Adelphi and walked north, moving quickly, then slowing down, and then speeding up again. Some people can concentrate and focus on one task at a time, while others, overwhelmed by indecision, jump from one thing to another with equal passion. For those individuals, being haunted by the consequences of their lack of self-control doesn’t lead them to be more disciplined. Instead, it feeds into their favorite mindset: “What does it matter? Tomorrow we die!” The willpower it took to head to Keith had left him feeling drained and frustrated. His pace reflected these mixed emotions. He had set out determined to go home and stay there quietly until Keith arrived. He was relying on Keith; he would know what to do. But within a few hundred yards, he felt completely spent, both physically and emotionally, and he thought that if he had a gun in his pocket, he might just end it right there on the street. Not even thoughts of the girl—this unfortunate young woman with her strange loyalty, who had kept him grounded over the last five months, who had awakened feelings in him he had never experienced before—could combat that sudden wave of despair. Why continue on like this—adrift and at the mercy of his own impulses, tossed around by every emotional breeze? Why not just end it all and find peace in sleep?

He was approaching the fatal street, where he and the girl, that early morning, had spent the hours clutched together, trying in the refuge of love to forget for a moment their horror and fear. Should he go in? He had promised Keith not to. Why had he promised? He caught sight of himself in a chemist's lighted window. Miserable, shadowy brute! And he remembered suddenly a dog he had picked up once in the streets of Pera, a black-and-white creature—different from the other dogs, not one of their breed, a pariah of pariahs, who had strayed there somehow. He had taken it home to the house where he was staying, contrary to all custom of the country; had got fond of it; had shot it himself, sooner than leave it behind again to the mercies of its own kind in the streets. Twelve years ago! And those sleevelinks made of little Turkish coins he had brought back for the girl at the hairdresser's in Chancery Lane where he used to get shaved—pretty creature, like a wild rose. He had asked of her a kiss for payment. What queer emotion when she put her face forward to his lips—a sort of passionate tenderness and shame, at the softness and warmth of that flushed cheek, at her beauty and trustful gratitude. She would soon have given herself to him—that one! He had never gone there again! And to this day he did not know why he had abstained; to this day he did not know whether he were glad or sorry not to have plucked that rose. He must surely have been very different then! Queer business, life—queer, queer business!—to go through it never knowing what you would do next. Ah! to be like Keith, steady, buttoned-up in success; a brass pot, a pillar of society! Once, as a boy, he had been within an ace of killing Keith, for sneering at him. Once in Southern Italy he had been near killing a driver who was flogging his horse. And now, that dark-faced, swinish bully who had ruined the girl he had grown to love—he had done it! Killed him! Killed a man!

He was nearing the fatal street, where he and the girl had spent hours together that early morning, trying to escape their horror and fear in the refuge of love. Should he go in? He had promised Keith he wouldn’t. Why had he promised? He caught a glimpse of himself in a lit window of a pharmacy. Miserable, shadowy brute! He suddenly remembered a dog he once picked up on the streets of Pera, a black-and-white creature—different from the other dogs, not one of their kind, a true outcast, who had somehow ended up there. He had taken it home against all local customs; he had grown fond of it; he even shot it himself rather than leaving it behind to face its own kind in the streets. Twelve years ago! And those cufflinks made of little Turkish coins he had brought back for the girl at the hairdresser's in Chancery Lane where he used to get shaved—a pretty creature, like a wild rose. He had asked her for a kiss as payment. What a strange feeling when she leaned in for his lips—a mix of passionate tenderness and shame, at the softness and warmth of that flushed cheek, at her beauty and grateful trust. She would have easily given herself to him—that one! He had never gone back again! To this day, he didn’t know why he had held back; to this day, he didn’t know if he was glad or sorry for not having picked that rose. He must have been so different back then! Life is strange—so strange!—to go through it without knowing what you would do next. Ah! To be like Keith, steady, buttoned-up in success; a brass pot, a pillar of society! Once, as a boy, he had come close to killing Keith for mocking him. Once, in Southern Italy, he had almost killed a driver who was beating his horse. And now, that dark-faced, swinish bully who had ruined the girl he had come to love—he had done it! Killed him! He killed a man!

He who did not want to hurt a fly. The chemist's window comforted him with the sudden thought that he had at home that which made him safe, in case they should arrest him. He would never again go out without some of those little white tablets sewn into the lining of his coat. Restful, even exhilarating thought! They said a man should not take his own life. Let them taste horror—those glib citizens! Let them live as that girl had lived, as millions lived all the world over, under their canting dogmas! A man might rather even take his life than watch their cursed inhumanities.

He who wouldn’t hurt a fly. The chemist’s window reassured him with the sudden thought that he had something at home that would keep him safe, in case they arrested him. He would never go out again without some of those little white tablets sewn into the lining of his coat. A calming, even exciting thought! They said a man shouldn’t take his own life. Let those smooth-talking citizens experience real horror! Let them live like that girl had lived, like millions of others around the world, under their self-righteous beliefs! A man might prefer to take his life rather than witness their cruel inhumanities.

He went into the chemist's for a bromide; and, while the man was mixing it, stood resting one foot like a tired horse. The “life” he had squeezed out of that fellow! After all, a billion living creatures gave up life each day, had it squeezed out of them, mostly. And perhaps not one a day deserved death so much as that loathly fellow. Life! a breath—aflame! Nothing! Why, then, this icy clutching at his heart?

He walked into the pharmacy for a bromide, and while the pharmacist was mixing it, he stood resting one foot like a tired horse. The “life” he had drained from that guy! After all, a billion living creatures lose their lives every day, have it taken from them, for the most part. And maybe not even one of them a day deserved death as much as that disgusting guy. Life! Just a breath—intense! Nothing! So, why this cold grip on his heart?

The chemist brought the draught.

The chemist brought the potion.

“Not sleeping, sir?”

"Can't sleep, sir?"

“No.”

“Nope.”

The man's eyes seemed to say: 'Yes! Burning the candle at both ends—I know!' Odd life, a chemist's; pills and powders all day long, to hold the machinery of men together! Devilish odd trade!

The man's eyes seemed to say: 'Yes! Burning the candle at both ends—I get it!' Strange life for a chemist; pills and powders all day long, keeping people's bodies functioning! Really strange job!

In going out he caught the reflection of his face in a mirror; it seemed too good altogether for a man who had committed murder. There was a sort of brightness underneath, an amiability lurking about its shadows; how—how could it be the face of a man who had done what he had done? His head felt lighter now, his feet lighter; he walked rapidly again.

In leaving, he caught a glimpse of his face in a mirror; it looked too good for someone who had committed murder. There was a kind of brightness underneath, an friendliness hiding in the shadows; how—how could this be the face of a man who had done what he had done? His head felt lighter now, his feet felt lighter; he walked quickly again.

Curious feeling of relief and oppression all at once! Frightful—to long for company, for talk, for distraction; and—to be afraid of it! The girl—the girl and Keith were now the only persons who would not give him that feeling of dread. And, of those two—Keith was not...! Who could consort with one who was never wrong, a successful, righteous fellow; a chap built so that he knew nothing about himself, wanted to know nothing, a chap all solid actions? To be a quicksand swallowing up one's own resolutions was bad enough! But to be like Keith—all willpower, marching along, treading down his own feelings and weaknesses! No! One could not make a comrade of a man like Keith, even if he were one's brother? The only creature in all the world was the girl. She alone knew and felt what he was feeling; would put up with him and love him whatever he did, or was done to him. He stopped and took shelter in a doorway, to light a cigarette. He had suddenly a fearful wish to pass the archway where he had placed the body; a fearful wish that had no sense, no end in view, no anything; just an insensate craving to see the dark place again. He crossed Borrow Street to the little lane. There was only one person visible, a man on the far side with his shoulders hunched against the wind; a short, dark figure which crossed and came towards him in the flickering lamplight. What a face! Yellow, ravaged, clothed almost to the eyes in a stubbly greyish growth of beard, with blackish teeth, and haunting bloodshot eyes. And what a figure of rags—one shoulder higher than the other, one leg a little lame, and thin! A surge of feeling came up in Laurence for this creature, more unfortunate than himself. There were lower depths than his!

A strange mix of relief and pressure all at once! It was terrifying to crave company, conversation, and distractions; yet also to fear them! The girl—she and Keith were the only ones who wouldn’t make him feel that sense of dread. And among the two—Keith was not...! Who could spend time with someone who was never wrong, a successful, virtuous guy; a guy who had no idea about himself, didn’t want to know anything, just a guy full of solid actions? To be like quicksand, swallowing up one’s own resolutions was bad enough! But to be like Keith—all willpower, marching forward, stomping down his own feelings and weaknesses! No! You couldn’t be friends with a man like Keith, even if he was your brother, right? The only one in the world was the girl. She alone understood and felt what he felt; she would tolerate him and love him no matter what he did or what was done to him. He stopped and took shelter in a doorway to light a cigarette. He suddenly had a terrifying urge to pass by the archway where he had left the body; a fearful wish that made no sense, had no purpose, just a mindless craving to see that dark spot again. He crossed Borrow Street to the small lane. There was only one person visible, a man on the other side hunched against the wind; a short, dark figure that crossed and moved towards him in the flickering lamplight. What a face! Yellow, worn, nearly covered to the eyes with a scraggly grey beard, with blackened teeth and haunting bloodshot eyes. And what a ragged figure—one shoulder higher than the other, one leg slightly lame, and thin! Laurence felt a surge of empathy for this person, even more unfortunate than himself. There were depths lower than his!

“Well, brother,” he said, “you don't look too prosperous!”

“Well, brother,” he said, “you don't look too well off!”

The smile which gleamed out on the man's face seemed as unlikely as a smile on a scarecrow.

The smile that shone on the man's face seemed just as unexpected as a smile on a scarecrow.

“Prosperity doesn't come my way,” he said in a rusty voice. “I'm a failure—always been a failure. And yet you wouldn't think it, would you?—I was a minister of religion once.”

“Prosperity doesn't come my way,” he said in a raspy voice. “I'm a failure—always have been. And yet you wouldn't guess it, would you?—I was once a minister.”

Laurence held out a shilling. But the man shook his head.

Laurence offered a shilling. But the man shook his head.

“Keep your money,” he said. “I've got more than you to-day, I daresay. But thank you for taking a little interest. That's worth more than money to a man that's down.”

“Keep your money,” he said. “I probably have more than you today anyway. But thank you for showing a little interest. That means more than money to someone who's struggling.”

“You're right.”

"You're correct."

“Yes,” the rusty voice went on; “I'd as soon die as go on living as I do. And now I've lost my self-respect. Often wondered how long a starving man could go without losing his self-respect. Not so very long. You take my word for that.” And without the slightest change in the monotony of that creaking voice he added:

“Yes,” the raspy voice continued; “I’d rather die than keep living like this. And now I’ve lost my self-respect. I’ve often wondered how long a starving person can hold onto their self-respect. Not very long at all. You can take my word for that.” And without the slightest change in the monotone of that creaking voice he added:

“Did you read of the murder? Just here. I've been looking at the place.”

“Did you hear about the murder? Right here. I've been checking out the scene.”

The words: 'So have I!' leaped up to Laurence's lips; he choked them down with a sort of terror.

The words: 'Me too!' sprang to Laurence's lips; he swallowed them back with a kind of panic.

“I wish you better luck,” he said. “Goodnight!” and hurried away. A sort of ghastly laughter was forcing its way up in his throat. Was everyone talking of the murder he had committed? Even the very scarecrows?

“I wish you better luck,” he said. “Goodnight!” and rushed off. A kind of awful laughter was bubbling up in his throat. Was everyone talking about the murder he had committed? Even the scarecrows?





III

There are some natures so constituted that, due to be hung at ten o'clock, they will play chess at eight. Such men invariably rise. They make especially good bishops, editors, judges, impresarios, Prime ministers, money-lenders, and generals; in fact, fill with exceptional credit any position of power over their fellow-men. They have spiritual cold storage, in which are preserved their nervous systems. In such men there is little or none of that fluid sense and continuity of feeling known under those vague terms, speculation, poetry, philosophy. Men of facts and of decision switching imagination on and off at will, subordinating sentiment to reason... one does not think of them when watching wind ripple over cornfields, or swallows flying.

Some people are made in such a way that, even if they’re scheduled for something at ten o’clock, they will still play chess at eight. These individuals always get up and get going. They tend to make excellent bishops, editors, judges, impresarios, prime ministers, moneylenders, and generals; essentially, they bring remarkable credit to any position of power over others. They have a kind of emotional reserve where their nerves are kept in check. These individuals lack the fluid sense and continuity of feeling that we associate with vague concepts like speculation, poetry, or philosophy. They focus on facts and decisions, turning their imagination on and off as needed, placing reason above sentiment... You don’t think of them when you see the wind rustling through cornfields or swallows flying.

Keith Darrant had need for being of that breed during his dinner at the Tellassons. It was just eleven when he issued from the big house in Portland Place and refrained from taking a cab. He wanted to walk that he might better think. What crude and wanton irony there was in his situation! To have been made father-confessor to a murderer, he—well on towards a judgeship! With his contempt for the kind of weakness which landed men in such abysses, he felt it all so sordid, so “impossible,” that he could hardly bring his mind to bear on it at all. And yet he must, because of two powerful instincts—self-preservation and blood-loyalty.

Keith Darrant felt he needed to be tough during his dinner at the Tellassons. It was just 11 PM when he stepped out of the big house on Portland Place and decided not to take a cab. He wanted to walk so he could think better. What a cruel and ridiculous twist of fate his situation was! To have become the confidant of a murderer—he was practically on his way to becoming a judge! With his disdain for the kind of weakness that got people into such deep trouble, he found it all so dirty, so “unthinkable,” that he could barely focus on it. And yet he had to, because of two strong instincts—self-preservation and loyalty to his blood.

The wind had still the sapping softness of the afternoon, but rain had held off so far. It was warm, and he unbuttoned his fur overcoat. The nature of his thoughts deepened the dark austerity of his face, whose thin, well-cut lips were always pressing together, as if, by meeting, to dispose of each thought as it came up. He moved along the crowded pavements glumly. That air of festive conspiracy which drops with the darkness on to lighted streets, galled him. He turned off on a darker route.

The wind still had the soft warmth of the afternoon, but the rain had held off so far. It was warm, and he unbuttoned his fur coat. The weight of his thoughts deepened the serious look on his face, where his thin, well-shaped lips were constantly pressed together, as if trying to shut down each thought as it arose. He walked glumly along the crowded sidewalks. The festive vibe that settled on the brightly lit streets after dark irritated him. He chose a darker path.

This ghastly business! Convinced of its reality, he yet could not see it. The thing existed in his mind, not as a picture, but as a piece of irrefutable evidence. Larry had not meant to do it, of course. But it was murder, all the same. Men like Larry—weak, impulsive, sentimental, introspective creatures—did they ever mean what they did? This man, this Walenn, was, by all accounts, better dead than alive; no need to waste a thought on him! But, crime—the ugliness—Justice unsatisfied! Crime concealed—and his own share in the concealment! And yet—brother to brother! Surely no one could demand action from him! It was only a question of what he was going to advise Larry to do. To keep silent, and disappear? Had that a chance of success? Perhaps if the answers to his questions had been correct. But this girl! Suppose the dead man's relationship to her were ferreted out, could she be relied on not to endanger Larry? These women were all the same, unstable as water, emotional, shiftless pests of society. Then, too, a crime untracked, dogging all his brother's after life; a secret following him wherever he might vanish to; hanging over him, watching for some drunken moment, to slip out of his lips. It was bad to think of. A clean breast of it? But his heart twitched within him. “Brother of Mr. Keith Darrant, the well-known King's Counsel”—visiting a woman of the town, strangling with his bare hands the woman's husband! No intention to murder, but—a dead man! A dead man carried out of the house, laid under a dark archway! Provocation! Recommended to mercy—penal servitude for life! Was that the advice he was going to give Larry to-morrow morning?

This terrible situation! He was convinced of its reality, yet he still couldn't see it. The event existed in his mind, not as an image, but as undeniable proof. Larry hadn’t intended to do it, of course. But it was still murder. Men like Larry—weak, impulsive, sentimental, introspective beings—did they ever really mean what they did? This guy, this Walenn, was, by all accounts, better off dead than alive; no need to waste a thought on him! But, crime—the horror—Justice left unsatisfied! A crime hidden—and his own part in that concealment! And yet—brother to brother! Surely no one could expect him to take action! It was only a matter of what he was going to advise Larry to do. Should he stay silent and disappear? Did that even have a chance of working? Maybe if his questions had received the right answers. But this girl! What if the dead man’s connection to her was uncovered; could she be trusted not to jeopardize Larry? These women were all the same, as unstable as water, emotional, erratic burdens on society. Then, too, a crime without a trace, following his brother for the rest of his life; a secret shadowing him wherever he went; looming over him, waiting for some drunken moment to slip out of his mouth. It was unsettling to think about. A full confession? But his heart twisted in his chest. “Brother of Mr. Keith Darrant, the well-known King's Counsel”—visiting a working girl, strangling her husband with his bare hands! No intention to kill, but—a dead man! A dead man taken out of the house, hidden under a dark archway! Provocation! Called for mercy—life imprisonment! Was that the advice he was going to give Larry tomorrow morning?

And he had a sudden vision of shaven men with clay-coloured features, run, as it were, to seed, as he had seen them once in Pentonville, when he had gone there to visit a prisoner. Larry! Whom, as a baby creature, he had watched straddling; whom, as a little fellow, he had fagged; whom he had seen through scrapes at college; to whom he had lent money time and again, and time and again admonished in his courses. Larry! Five years younger than himself; and committed to his charge by their mother when she died. To become for life one of those men with faces like diseased plants; with no hair but a bushy stubble; with arrows marked on their yellow clothes! Larry! One of those men herded like sheep; at the beck and call of common men! A gentleman, his own brother, to live that slave's life, to be ordered here and there, year after year, day in, day out. Something snapped within him. He could not give that advice. Impossible! But if not, he must make sure of his ground, must verify, must know. This Glove Lane—this arch way? It would not be far from where he was that very moment. He looked for someone of whom to make enquiry. A policeman was standing at the corner, his stolid face illumined by a lamp; capable and watchful—an excellent officer, no doubt; but, turning his head away, Keith passed him without a word. Strange to feel that cold, uneasy feeling in presence of the law! A grim little driving home of what it all meant! Then, suddenly, he saw that the turning to his left was Borrow Street itself. He walked up one side, crossed over, and returned. He passed Number Forty-two, a small house with business names printed on the lifeless windows of the first and second floors; with dark curtained windows on the ground floor, or was there just a slink of light in one corner? Which way had Larry turned? Which way under that grisly burden? Fifty paces of this squalid street-narrow, and dark, and empty, thank heaven! Glove Lane! Here it was! A tiny runlet of a street. And here—! He had run right on to the arch, a brick bridge connecting two portions of a warehouse, and dark indeed.

And he suddenly pictured shaven men with clay-colored faces, looking like they were fading away, just like he had seen them once in Pentonville when he visited a prisoner. Larry! The kid he had watched grow up; the little guy he had taken under his wing; the one he had seen through troubles at college; the one he had lent money over and over, always giving him a stern talk about his studies. Larry! Five years younger than him; entrusted to his care by their mother when she passed away. To turn into one of those men with faces like sick plants; with no hair but a scruffy stubble; marked with arrows on their yellow clothes! Larry! One of those guys herded like cattle; at the beck and call of average people! A gentleman, his own brother, living that miserable life, being ordered around year after year, day in and day out. Something snapped inside him. He couldn't give that advice. No way! But if not, he had to make sure of his facts, had to check, had to know. This Glove Lane—this archway? It couldn't be far from where he was standing right then. He looked for someone to ask. A policeman was standing at the corner, his emotionless face lit by a lamp; capable and alert—an excellent officer, no doubt; but, turning his head away, Keith walked past him without a word. It felt strange to have that cold, uneasy feeling in the presence of the law! A harsh reminder of what it all meant! Then, suddenly, he saw that the turn to his left was Borrow Street itself. He walked up one side, crossed over, and came back. He passed Number Forty-two, a small house with business names printed on the lifeless windows of the first and second floors; with dark curtains on the ground floor, or was there just a flicker of light in one corner? Which way had Larry gone? Which way under that heavy burden? Fifty paces down this narrow, dark, empty street, thank goodness! Glove Lane! Here it was! A tiny little street. And here—! He had walked right up to the arch, a brick bridge connecting two sections of a warehouse, and it was really dark.

“That's right, gov'nor! That's the place!” He needed all his self-control to turn leisurely to the speaker. “'Ere's where they found the body—very spot leanin' up 'ere. They ain't got 'im yet. Lytest—me lord!”

“That's right, governor! That's the place!” He had to use all his self-control to turn slowly to the speaker. “Here’s where they found the body—right here leaning against this spot. They haven't caught him yet. Listen up—my lord!”

It was a ragged boy holding out a tattered yellowish journal. His lynx eyes peered up from under lanky wisps of hair, and his voice had the proprietary note of one making “a corner” in his news. Keith took the paper and gave him twopence. He even found a sort of comfort in the young ghoul's hanging about there; it meant that others besides himself had come morbidly to look. By the dim lamplight he read: “Glove Lane garrotting mystery. Nothing has yet been discovered of the murdered man's identity; from the cut of his clothes he is supposed to be a foreigner.” The boy had vanished, and Keith saw the figure of a policeman coming slowly down this gutter of a street. A second's hesitation, and he stood firm. Nothing obviously could have brought him here save this “mystery,” and he stayed quietly staring at the arch. The policeman moved up abreast. Keith saw that he was the one whom he had passed just now. He noted the cold offensive question die out of the man's eyes when they caught the gleam of white shirt-front under the opened fur collar. And holding up the paper, he said:

It was a scruffy boy holding out a worn yellowish journal. His sharp eyes peeked out from beneath messy strands of hair, and his voice had that tone of someone trying to make a sale. Keith took the paper and gave him two pence. He even felt a kind of comfort in the young boy hanging around; it meant that he wasn't the only one drawn to the grim scene. By the dim light of the lamp, he read: “Glove Lane garrotting mystery. No information has been found about the murdered man's identity; based on his clothing style, it’s believed he was a foreigner.” The boy had disappeared, and Keith noticed a policeman slowly walking down this narrow street. After a brief moment of doubt, he stood his ground. Clearly, the “mystery” was the only reason for the policeman to be here, and he continued to quietly observe the arch. The policeman approached him closely. Keith recognized him as the same one he had just passed. He saw the icy, confrontational look fade from the man's eyes when they caught sight of the white shirt front visible under the open fur collar. Holding up the paper, he said:

“Is this where the man was found?”

“Is this where they found the man?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Sure thing.”

“Still a mystery, I see?”

“Still a mystery, huh?”

“Well, we can't always go by the papers. But I don't fancy they do know much about it, yet.”

“Well, we can’t always rely on the news. But I don’t think they actually know much about it yet.”

“Dark spot. Do fellows sleep under here?”

“Dark spot. Do guys sleep under here?”

The policeman nodded. “There's not an arch in London where we don't get 'em sometimes.”

The cop nodded. “There’s not a single arch in London where we don’t see them sometimes.”

“Nothing found on him—I think I read?”

“Nothing found on him—I think I read?”

“Not a copper. Pockets inside out. There's some funny characters about this quarter. Greeks, Hitalians—all sorts.”

"Not a penny. Pockets turned inside out. There are some strange characters around this area. Greeks, Italians—all kinds."

Queer sensation this, of being glad of a policeman's confidential tone!

This is such a strange feeling, being relieved by the way a police officer speaks confidentially!

“Well, good-night!”

“Good night!”

“Good-night, sir. Good-night!”

“Goodnight, sir. Goodnight!”

He looked back from Borrow Street. The policeman was still standing there holding up his lantern, so that its light fell into the archway, as if trying to read its secret.

He looked back from Borrow Street. The policeman was still standing there, holding up his lantern so that its light shone into the archway, as if trying to uncover its secret.

Now that he had seen this dark, deserted spot, the chances seemed to him much better. “Pockets inside out!” Either Larry had had presence of mind to do a very clever thing, or someone had been at the body before the police found it. That was the more likely. A dead backwater of a place. At three o'clock—loneliest of all hours—Larry's five minutes' grim excursion to and fro might well have passed unseen! Now, it all depended on the girl; on whether Laurence had been seen coming to her or going away; on whether, if the man's relationship to her were discovered, she could be relied on to say nothing. There was not a soul in Borrow Street now; hardly even a lighted window; and he took one of those rather desperate decisions only possible to men daily accustomed to the instant taking of responsibility. He would go to her, and see for himself. He came to the door of Forty-two, obviously one of those which are only shut at night, and tried the larger key. It fitted, and he was in a gas-lighted passage, with an oil-clothed floor, and a single door to his left. He stood there undecided. She must be made to understand that he knew everything. She must not be told more than that he was a friend of Larry's. She must not be frightened, yet must be forced to give her very soul away. A hostile witness—not to be treated as hostile—a matter for delicate handling! But his knock was not answered.

Now that he had seen this dark, empty spot, the chances seemed much better to him. “Pockets inside out!” Either Larry had the presence of mind to pull off a clever trick, or someone had messed with the body before the police arrived. The latter seemed more likely. A dead-end of a place. At three o'clock—the loneliest hour—Larry's five-minute grim trip back and forth could easily have gone unnoticed! Now, it all depended on the girl; on whether Laurence had been seen coming to her or leaving; on whether, if their relationship was discovered, she could be trusted to stay silent. There was nobody in Borrow Street now; hardly even a lit window; and he made one of those rather desperate decisions only possible for men who are used to making instant decisions. He would go to her and see for himself. He reached the door of Forty-two, clearly one of those that are only locked at night, and tried the larger key. It fit, and he stepped into a gas-lit hallway with an oil-clothed floor and a single door to his left. He stood there, unsure. She needed to understand that he knew everything. She should only be told he was a friend of Larry's. She must not be scared, yet must be compelled to reveal everything. A hostile witness—not to be treated as hostile—a situation requiring delicate handling! But his knock went unanswered.

Should he give up this nerve-racking, bizarre effort to come at a basis of judgment; go away, and just tell Laurence that he could not advise him? And then—what? Something must be done. He knocked again. Still no answer. And with that impatience of being thwarted, natural to him, and fostered to the full by the conditions of his life, he tried the other key. It worked, and he opened the door. Inside all was dark, but a voice from some way off, with a sort of breathless relief in its foreign tones, said:

Should he give up this stressful, strange effort to find a basis for judgment, leave, and just tell Laurence he couldn’t help him? And then—what? Something had to be done. He knocked again. Still no answer. Frustrated by the delay, which was typical for him and had been heightened by his life circumstances, he tried the other key. It worked, and he opened the door. Inside was completely dark, but a voice from a distance, sounding almost breathlessly relieved in its foreign accent, said:

“Oh! then it's you, Larry! Why did you knock? I was so frightened. Turn up the light, dear. Come in!”

“Oh! It’s you, Larry! Why did you knock? I was so scared. Turn on the light, dear. Come in!”

Feeling by the door for a switch in the pitch blackness he was conscious of arms round his neck, a warm thinly clad body pressed to his own; then withdrawn as quickly, with a gasp, and the most awful terror-stricken whisper:

Feeling for a switch by the door in the pitch blackness, he became aware of arms around his neck, a warm, lightly dressed body pressed against him; then it pulled away just as quickly, with a gasp, and the most horrifying, terror-filled whisper:

“Oh! Who is it?”

“Oh! Who's there?”

With a glacial shiver down his own spine, Keith answered

With a cold shiver running down his spine, Keith answered

“A friend of Laurence. Don't be frightened!”

“A friend of Laurence. Don’t be scared!”

There was such silence that he could hear a clock ticking, and the sound of his own hand passing over the surface of the wall, trying to find the switch. He found it, and in the light which leaped up he saw, stiffened against a dark curtain evidently screening off a bedroom, a girl standing, holding a long black coat together at her throat, so that her face with its pale brown hair, short and square-cut and curling up underneath, had an uncanny look of being detached from any body. Her face was so alabaster pale that the staring, startled eyes, dark blue or brown, and the faint rose of the parted lips, were like colour stainings on a white mask; and it had a strange delicacy, truth, and pathos, such as only suffering brings. Though not susceptible to aesthetic emotion, Keith was curiously affected. He said gently:

There was such silence that he could hear a clock ticking and the sound of his hand sliding over the wall as he tried to find the switch. He found it, and when the light burst on, he saw a girl standing stiffly against a dark curtain, clearly blocking off a bedroom. She was holding a long black coat together at her throat, making her pale brown hair, short and square-cut with curls at the ends, appear almost as if it were detached from her body. Her face was so pale that her wide, startled eyes—dark blue or brown—and the faint pink of her slightly parted lips looked like paint on a white mask; it had a strange delicacy, truth, and sadness that only comes from suffering. Although he wasn’t one to feel aesthetic emotions, Keith felt oddly moved. He said gently:

“You needn't be afraid. I haven't come to do you harm—quite the contrary. May I sit down and talk?” And, holding up the keys, he added: “Laurence wouldn't have given me these, would he, if he hadn't trusted me?”

“You don’t need to be afraid. I’m not here to hurt you—actually, it’s the opposite. Can I sit down and talk?” And, holding up the keys, he added: “Laurence wouldn’t have given me these, right, if he didn’t trust me?”

Still she did not move, and he had the impression that he was looking at a spirit—a spirit startled out of its flesh. Nor at the moment did it seem in the least strange that he should conceive such an odd thought. He stared round the room—clean and tawdry, with its tarnished gilt mirror, marble-topped side-table, and plush-covered sofa. Twenty years and more since he had been in such a place. And he said:

Still, she didn’t move, and he felt like he was looking at a ghost—a ghost pulled out of its body. At that moment, it didn’t seem strange at all that he would have such a weird thought. He looked around the room—clean but cheap, with its tarnished gold mirror, marble-topped side table, and plush sofa. It had been over twenty years since he had been in a place like this. And he said:

“Won't you sit down? I'm sorry to have startled you.”

“Please, have a seat. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

But still she did not move, whispering:

But she still didn't move, whispering:

“Who are you, please?”

"Who are you, please?"

And, moved suddenly beyond the realm of caution by the terror in that whisper, he answered:

And, suddenly pushed past the limits of caution by the fear in that whisper, he replied:

“Larry's brother.”

“Larry's bro.”

She uttered a little sigh of relief which went to Keith's heart, and, still holding the dark coat together at her throat, came forward and sat down on the sofa. He could see that her feet, thrust into slippers, were bare; with her short hair, and those candid startled eyes, she looked like a tall child. He drew up a chair and said:

She let out a small sigh of relief that touched Keith's heart, and, still holding her dark coat closed at her throat, she came forward and sat down on the sofa. He noticed that her feet, stuffed into slippers, were bare; with her short hair and those honest, surprised eyes, she resembled a tall child. He pulled up a chair and said:

“You must forgive me coming at such an hour; he's told me, you see.” He expected her to flinch and gasp; but she only clasped her hands together on her knees, and said:

“You have to forgive me for coming at this hour; he told me, you know.” He expected her to flinch and gasp; but she simply clasped her hands together on her knees and said:

“Yes?”

"Yeah?"

Then horror and discomfort rose up in him, afresh.

Then horror and discomfort stirred within him again.

“An awful business!”

"That's a terrible situation!"

Her whisper echoed him:

Her whisper echoed to him:

“Yes, oh! yes! Awful—it is awful!”

“Yes, oh! yes! It's terrible—it’s terrible!”

And suddenly realising that the man must have fallen dead just where he was sitting, Keith became stock silent, staring at the floor.

And suddenly realizing that the man must have died right where he was sitting, Keith became completely silent, staring at the floor.

“Yes,” she whispered; “Just there. I see him now always falling!”

"Yes," she whispered, "Right there. I can see him now, always falling!"

How she said that! With what a strange gentle despair! In this girl of evil life, who had brought on them this tragedy, what was it which moved him to a sort of unwilling compassion?

How she said that! With such a strangely gentle despair! In this girl with a troubled life, who had caused this tragedy for them, what was it that stirred in him a kind of reluctant compassion?

“You look very young,” he said.

“You look really young,” he said.

“I am twenty.”

"I'm 20."

“And you are fond of—my brother?”

“And you like—my bro?”

“I would die for him.”

"I'd die for him."

Impossible to mistake the tone of her voice, or the look in her eyes, true deep Slav eyes; dark brown, not blue as he had thought at first. It was a very pretty face—either her life had not eaten into it yet, or the suffering of these last hours had purged away those marks; or perhaps this devotion of hers to Larry. He felt strangely at sea, sitting there with this child of twenty; he, over forty, a man of the world, professionally used to every side of human nature. But he said, stammering a little:

Impossible to mistake the tone of her voice or the look in her eyes, true deep Slav eyes; dark brown, not blue as he had initially thought. It was a very pretty face—either life hadn't taken its toll on it yet, or the suffering of the last few hours had washed away those signs; or maybe it was her devotion to Larry. He felt oddly out of place, sitting there with this twenty-year-old; he, over forty, a worldly man, professionally accustomed to every aspect of human nature. But he said, stumbling a bit:

“I—I have come to see how far you can save him. Listen, and just answer the questions I put to you.”

“I—I’ve come to see how much you can help him. Listen, and just answer the questions I ask you.”

She raised her hands, squeezed them together, and murmured:

She raised her hands, brought them together, and whispered:

“Oh! I will answer anything.”

“Oh! I’ll answer anything.”

“This man, then—your—your husband—was he a bad man?”

“This man, then—your—your husband—was he a bad guy?”

“A dreadful man.”

"A terrible person."

“Before he came here last night, how long since you saw him?”

“Before he got here last night, how long had it been since you saw him?”

“Eighteen months.”

"18 months."

“Where did you live when you saw him last?”

“Where were you living when you last saw him?”

“In Pimlico.”

"In Pimlico."

“Does anybody about here know you as Mrs. Walenn?”

“Does anyone around here know you as Mrs. Walenn?”

“No. When I came here, after my little girl died, I came to live a bad life. Nobody knows me at all. I am quite alone.”

“No. When I came here after my little girl died, I started living a miserable life. Nobody knows me at all. I am completely alone.”

“If they discover who he was, they will look for his wife?”

“If they find out who he was, will they go looking for his wife?”

“I do not know. He did not let people think I was married to him. I was very young; he treated many, I think, like me.”

“I don’t know. He wouldn’t let anyone think I was married to him. I was really young; I think he treated a lot of people like me.”

“Do you think he was known to the police?”

“Do you think he was familiar to the police?”

She shook her head. “He was very clever.”

She shook her head. “He was really smart.”

“What is your name now?”

“What's your name now?”

“Wanda Livinska.”

"Wanda Livinska."

“Were you known by that name before you were married?”

“Did people call you that name before you got married?”

“Wanda is my Christian name. Livinska—I just call myself.”

“Wanda is my first name. I just go by Livinska.”

“I see; since you came here.”

“I see; now that you’re here.”

“Yes.”

"Yeah."

“Did my brother ever see this man before last night?”

“Has my brother ever seen this guy before last night?”

“Never.”

"Not happening."

“You had told him about his treatment of you?”

“You told him how he treated you?”

“Yes. And that man first went for him.”

“Yes. And that guy was the first to go after him.”

“I saw the mark. Do you think anyone saw my brother come to you?”

“I saw the mark. Do you think anyone saw my brother come to you?”

“I do not know. He says not.”

“I don’t know. He doesn’t say.”

“Can you tell if anyone saw him carrying the—the thing away?”

"Can you tell if anyone saw him carrying the—the thing away?"

“No one in this street—I was looking.”

“No one on this street—I was watching.”

“Nor coming back?”

"Not coming back?"

“No one.”

"No one."

“Nor going out in the morning?”

“Not going out in the morning?”

“I do not think it.”

“I don't think so.”

“Have you a servant?”

“Do you have a servant?”

“Only a woman who comes at nine in the morning for an hour.”

“Just a woman who shows up at nine in the morning for an hour.”

“Does she know Larry?”

“Does she know Larry?”

“No.”

“Nope.”

“Friends, acquaintances?”

"Friends or acquaintances?"

“No; I am very quiet. And since I knew your brother, I see no one. Nobody comes here but him for a long time now.”

“No, I’m really quiet. And ever since I got to know your brother, I haven’t seen anyone. No one comes here but him for a long time now.”

“How long?”

“How long will it take?”

“Five months.”

"5 months."

“Have you been out to-day?”

"Have you been out today?"

“No.”

“No.”

“What have you been doing?”

“What have you been up to?”

“Crying.”

Crying.

It was said with a certain dreadful simplicity, and pressing her hands together, she went on:

It was said in a hauntingly simple way, and clasping her hands together, she continued:

“He is in danger, because of me. I am so afraid for him.” Holding up his hand to check that emotion, he said:

“He's in danger because of me. I'm so afraid for him.” Holding up his hand to control his emotions, he said:

“Look at me!”

“Check me out!”

She fixed those dark eyes on him, and in her bare throat, from which the coat had fallen back, he could see her resolutely swallowing down her agitation.

She locked her dark eyes onto him, and in her bare throat, where her coat had slipped back, he could see her firmly swallowing her unease.

“If the worst comes to the worst, and this man is traced to you, can you trust yourself not to give my brother away?”

“If it really comes down to it, and this guy is linked to you, can you trust yourself not to betray my brother?”

Her eyes shone. She got up and went to the fireplace:

Her eyes sparkled. She stood up and walked over to the fireplace:

“Look! I have burned all the things he has given me—even his picture. Now I have nothing from him.”

“Look! I’ve burned everything he gave me—even his picture. Now I have nothing from him.”

Keith, too, got up.

Keith also got up.

“Good! One more question: Do the police know you, because—because of your life?”

“Good! One more question: Do the police know you because—because of your life?”

She shook her head, looking at him intently, with those mournfully true eyes. And he felt a sort of shame.

She shook her head, looking at him closely, with those sorrowfully honest eyes. And he felt a sense of shame.

“I was obliged to ask. Do you know where he lives?”

“I had to ask. Do you know where he lives?”

“Yes.”

"Yeah."

“You must not go there. And he must not come to you, here.”

“You can’t go there. And he shouldn’t come to you, here.”

Her lips quivered; but she bowed her head. Suddenly he found her quite close to him, speaking almost in a whisper:

Her lips trembled, but she lowered her head. Suddenly, he found her really close to him, speaking almost in a whisper:

“Please do not take him from me altogether. I will be so careful. I will not do anything to hurt him; but if I cannot see him sometimes, I shall die. Please do not take him from me.” And catching his hand between her own, she pressed it desperately. It was several seconds before Keith said:

“Please don’t take him away from me completely. I’ll be really careful. I won’t do anything to hurt him; but if I can’t see him sometimes, I’ll die. Please don’t take him from me.” And grabbing his hand with both of hers, she squeezed it tightly. It took several seconds before Keith finally said:

“Leave that to me. I will see him. I shall arrange. You must leave that to me.”

“Leave that to me. I’ll take care of it. I’ll sort it out. Just trust me on this.”

“But you will be kind?”

"But you'll be kind?"

He felt her lips kissing his hand. And the soft moist touch sent a queer feeling through him, protective, yet just a little brutal, having in it a shiver of sensuality. He withdrew his hand. And as if warned that she had been too pressing, she recoiled humbly. But suddenly she turned, and stood absolutely rigid; then almost inaudibly whispered: “Listen! Someone out—out there!” And darting past him she turned out the light.

He felt her lips on his hand. The soft, warm touch sent a strange feeling through him—protective, yet slightly harsh, with a hint of sensuality. He pulled his hand back. It was as if she realized she had been too forward, and she stepped back sheepishly. Then suddenly, she turned and stood completely still; almost in a whisper, she said, “Listen! Someone out—out there!” And rushing past him, she turned off the light.

Almost at once came a knock on the door. He could feel—actually feel the terror of this girl beside him in the dark. And he, too, felt terror. Who could it be? No one came but Larry, she had said. Who else then could it be? Again came the knock, louder! He felt the breath of her whisper on his cheek: “If it is Larry! I must open.” He shrank back against the wall; heard her open the door and say faintly: “Yes. Please! Who?”

Almost instantly, there was a knock on the door. He could sense—actually sense the fear of this girl next to him in the dark. And he felt fear, too. Who could it be? She had said no one came except Larry. So who else could it be? The knock came again, louder! He felt her whisper on his cheek: “If it’s Larry! I have to open.” He pressed back against the wall; he heard her open the door and say softly, “Yes. Please! Who?”

Light painted a thin moving line on the wall opposite, and a voice which Keith recognised answered:

Light made a thin, moving line on the wall across from him, and a voice that Keith recognized responded:

“All right, miss. Your outer door's open here. You ought to keep it shut after dark.”

“All right, miss. Your front door is open here. You should keep it closed after dark.”

God! That policeman! And it had been his own doing, not shutting the outer door behind him when he came in. He heard her say timidly in her foreign voice: “Thank you, sir!” the policeman's retreating steps, the outer door being shut, and felt her close to him again. That something in her youth and strange prettiness which had touched and kept him gentle, no longer blunted the edge of his exasperation, now that he could not see her. They were all the same, these women; could not speak the truth! And he said brusquely:

God! That cop! And it was his own fault for not shutting the outer door when he came in. He heard her say shyly in her foreign accent: “Thank you, sir!” as the cop walked away and the door closed, and felt her close to him again. That thing about her youth and unusual beauty that had softened him before no longer dulled his irritation now that he couldn't see her. They were all the same, these women; they just couldn’t tell the truth! And he said sharply:

“You told me they didn't know you!”

“You said they didn't know you!”

Her voice answered like a sigh:

Her voice replied like a sigh:

“I did not think they did, sir. It is so long I was not out in the town, not since I had Larry.”

“I didn't think they did, sir. It's been so long since I was out in town, not since I had Larry.”

The repulsion which all the time seethed deep in Keith welled up at those words. His brother—son of his mother, a gentleman—the property of this girl, bound to her, body and soul, by this unspeakable event! But she had turned up the light. Had she some intuition that darkness was against her? Yes, she was pretty with that soft face, colourless save for its lips and dark eyes, with that face somehow so touchingly, so unaccountably good, and like a child's.

The anger that had been boiling inside Keith erupted at those words. His brother—son of their mother, a gentleman—belonged to this girl, tied to her, body and soul, because of this unthinkable situation! But she had turned on the light. Did she somehow sense that darkness was her enemy? Yes, she was pretty with that soft face, pale except for her lips and dark eyes, and there was something so touching and inexplicably good about her face, like a child's.

“I am going now,” he said. “Remember! He mustn't come here; you mustn't go to him. I shall see him to-morrow. If you are as fond of him as you say—take care, take care!”

“I’m going now,” he said. “Remember! He can't come here; you can't go to him. I’ll see him tomorrow. If you care about him as much as you say—be careful, be careful!”

She sighed out, “Yes! oh, yes!” and Keith went to the door. She was standing with her back to the wall, and to follow him she only moved her head—that dove-like face with all its life in eyes which seemed saying: 'Look into us; nothing we hide; all—all is there!'

She sighed, “Yes! Oh, yes!” and Keith went to the door. She stood with her back against the wall, and to follow him, she only turned her head—her dove-like face full of life, her eyes seeming to say: 'Look into us; we don't hide anything; all—everything is there!'

And he went out.

And he left.

In the passage he paused before opening the outer door. He did not want to meet that policeman again; the fellow's round should have taken him well out of the street by now, and turning the handle cautiously, he looked out. No one in sight. He stood a moment, wondering if he should turn to right or left, then briskly crossed the street. A voice to his right hand said:

In the passage, he paused before opening the outer door. He really didn’t want to run into that cop again; the guy’s shift should have taken him far away from the street by now. So, he turned the handle slowly and peeked outside. No one was in sight. He stood there for a moment, debating whether to go right or left, then quickly crossed the street. A voice to his right said:

“Good-night, sir.”

“Good night, sir.”

There in the shadow of a doorway the policeman was standing. The fellow must have seen him coming out! Utterly unable to restrain a start, and muttering “Goodnight!” Keith walked on rapidly:

There in the shadow of a doorway, the police officer was standing. The guy must have seen him coming out! Unable to hold back a flinch and muttering “Goodnight!” Keith walked on quickly:

He went full quarter of a mile before he lost that startled and uneasy feeling in sardonic exasperation that he, Keith Darrant, had been taken for a frequenter of a lady of the town. The whole thing—the whole thing!—a vile and disgusting business! His very mind felt dirty and breathless; his spirit, drawn out of sheath, had slowly to slide back before he could at all focus and readjust his reasoning faculty. Certainly, he had got the knowledge he wanted. There was less danger than he thought. That girl's eyes! No mistaking her devotion. She would not give Larry away. Yes! Larry must clear out—South America—the East—it did not matter. But he felt no relief. The cheap, tawdry room had wrapped itself round his fancy with its atmosphere of murky love, with the feeling it inspired, of emotion caged within those yellowish walls and the red stuff of its furniture. That girl's face! Devotion; truth, too, and beauty, rare and moving, in its setting of darkness and horror, in that nest of vice and of disorder!... The dark archway; the street arab, with his gleeful: “They 'ain't got 'im yet!”; the feel of those bare arms round his neck; that whisper of horror in the darkness; above all, again, her child face looking into his, so truthful! And suddenly he stood quite still in the street. What in God's name was he about? What grotesque juggling amongst shadows, what strange and ghastly eccentricity was all this? The forces of order and routine, all the actualities of his daily life, marched on him at that moment, and swept everything before them. It was a dream, a nightmare not real! It was ridiculous! That he—he should thus be bound up with things so black and bizarre!

He walked a full quarter of a mile before he stopped feeling that startled and uneasy sensation of sardonic frustration that he, Keith Darrant, had been mistaken for someone who frequents a woman of the night. The whole situation—the whole thing!—was a vile and disgusting mess! His mind felt dirty and breathless; his spirit, pulled out of its comfort zone, had to slowly return before he could focus and clear his thoughts. Of course, he had gotten the information he needed. There was less danger than he had thought. That girl's eyes! No doubt about her loyalty. She wouldn’t betray Larry. Yes! Larry needed to leave—South America, the East—it didn’t matter. Yet, he felt no relief. That cheap, tacky room had enveloped him with its atmosphere of murky love, creating a sense of emotion trapped within those yellowish walls and the red fabric of the furniture. That girl’s face! Devotion; truth, too, and beauty, rare and moving, set against a backdrop of darkness and horror, in that pit of vice and chaos!... The dark archway; the street kid, gleefully shouting: “They ain't got him yet!”; the sensation of those bare arms around his neck; that whisper of horror in the dark; above all, her innocent face gazing into his, so genuine! Suddenly, he stood completely still in the street. What in God’s name was he doing? What bizarre juggling amongst shadows, what strange and horrifying eccentricity was all this? The forces of order and routine, all the realities of his daily life, came crashing down on him at that moment, sweeping everything away. It was a dream, a nightmare that wasn’t real! It was ridiculous! That he—he should be caught up in such dark and bizarre things!

He had come by now to the Strand, that street down which every day he moved to the Law Courts, to his daily work; his work so dignified and regular, so irreproachable, and solid. No! The thing was all a monstrous nightmare! It would go, if he fixed his mind on the familiar objects around, read the names on the shops, looked at the faces passing. Far down the thoroughfare he caught the outline of the old church, and beyond, the loom of the Law Courts themselves. The bell of a fire-engine sounded, and the horses came galloping by, with the shining metal, rattle of hoofs and hoarse shouting. Here was a sensation, real and harmless, dignified and customary! A woman flaunting round the corner looked up at him, and leered out: “Good-night!” Even that was customary, tolerable. Two policemen passed, supporting between them a man the worse for liquor, full of fight and expletives; the sight was soothing, an ordinary thing which brought passing annoyance, interest, disgust. It had begun to rain; he felt it on his face with pleasure—an actual thing, not eccentric, a thing which happened every day!

He had made it to the Strand, the street he walked down every day to get to the Law Courts for his job; his job that was so dignified, steady, above reproach, and solid. No! This was all just a terrible nightmare! It would fade away if he focused on the familiar things around him, read the names on the shops, and looked at the faces passing by. Far down the road, he spotted the outline of the old church and, beyond that, the imposing Law Courts themselves. The bell of a fire engine rang out, and the horses galloped by, their metal shining, hooves clattering, and shouts booming. Here was a sensation—real and safe, dignified and normal! A woman strutting around the corner looked up at him and called out, “Good night!” Even that felt ordinary and acceptable. Two policemen walked by, helping a drunken man who was full of fight and swearing; the sight was comforting, a typical scene that brought along some irritation, interest, and disgust. It had started to rain; he could feel it on his face with delight—something real, not strange, something that happened every day!

He began to cross the street. Cabs were going at furious speed now that the last omnibus had ceased to run; it distracted him to take this actual, ordinary risk run so often every day. During that crossing of the Strand, with the rain in his face and the cabs shooting past, he regained for the first time his assurance, shook off this unreal sense of being in the grip of something, and walked resolutely to the corner of his home turning. But passing into that darker stretch, he again stood still. A policeman had also turned into that street on the other side. Not—surely not! Absurd! They were all alike to look at—those fellows! Absurd! He walked on sharply, and let himself into his house. But on his way upstairs he could not for the life of him help raising a corner of a curtain and looking from the staircase window. The policeman was marching solemnly, about twenty-five yards away, paying apparently no attention to anything whatever.

He started to cross the street. Cabs were speeding by now that the last bus had stopped running; it surprised him to take this real, everyday risk that people usually took. While crossing the Strand, with rain hitting his face and cabs zooming past, he regained his confidence, shook off the strange feeling of being trapped by something, and walked determinedly toward the corner leading to his home. But as he entered that darker area, he paused again. A police officer had also turned into that street on the other side. No—surely not! Ridiculous! They all looked the same—those guys! Ridiculous! He moved on quickly and let himself into his house. But on his way upstairs, he couldn’t help but lift a corner of a curtain and peek out from the staircase window. The police officer was walking solemnly about twenty-five yards away, apparently paying no attention to anything at all.





IV

Keith woke at five o'clock, his usual hour, without remembrance. But the grisly shadow started up when he entered his study, where the lamp burned, and the fire shone, and the coffee was set ready, just as when yesterday afternoon Larry had stood out there against the wall. For a moment he fought against realisation; then, drinking off his coffee, sat down sullenly at the bureau to his customary three hours' study of the day's cases.

Keith woke up at five o'clock, his usual time, without remembering anything. But the grim memory hit him when he entered his study, where the lamp was on, the fire was glowing, and the coffee was prepared, just like it had been when Larry stood there against the wall the day before. For a moment, he resisted the realization; then, downing his coffee, he sat down grumpily at the desk to begin his usual three hours of studying the day’s cases.

Not one word of his brief could he take in. It was all jumbled with murky images and apprehensions, and for full half an hour he suffered mental paralysis. Then the sheer necessity of knowing something of the case which he had to open at half-past ten that morning forced him to a concentration which never quite subdued the malaise at the bottom of his heart. Nevertheless, when he rose at half-past eight and went into the bathroom, he had earned his grim satisfaction in this victory of will-power. By half-past nine he must be at Larry's. A boat left London for the Argentine to-morrow. If Larry was to get away at once, money must be arranged for. And then at breakfast he came on this paragraph in the paper:

Not a single word of his brief made sense to him. It was all mixed up with unclear thoughts and worries, and for a full half hour, he felt completely stuck mentally. Then, the urgent need to understand something about the case he had to present at ten-thirty that morning pushed him to focus, even though it never really chased away the unease in his heart. Still, when he got up at eight-thirty and went into the bathroom, he felt a grim satisfaction from his victory of willpower. By nine-thirty, he needed to be at Larry's. A boat was leaving London for Argentina tomorrow. If Larry was going to leave right away, they needed to arrange for money. Then, at breakfast, he came across this paragraph in the paper:

           “SOHO MURDER.
SOHO MURDER.

“Enquiry late last night established the fact that the Police have discovered the identity of the man found strangled yesterday morning under an archway in Glove Lane. An arrest has been made.”

“An inquiry late last night confirmed that the police have identified the man who was found strangled yesterday morning under an archway in Glove Lane. An arrest has been made.”

By good fortune he had finished eating, for the words made him feel physically sick. At this very minute Larry might be locked up, waiting to be charged-might even have been arrested before his own visit to the girl last night. If Larry were arrested, she must be implicated. What, then, would be his own position? Idiot to go and look at that archway, to go and see the girl! Had that policeman really followed him home? Accessory after the fact! Keith Darrant, King's Counsel, man of mark! He forced himself by an effort, which had something of the heroic, to drop this panicky feeling. Panic never did good. He must face it, and see. He refused even to hurry, calmly collected the papers wanted for the day, and attended to a letter or two, before he set out in a taxi-cab to Fitzroy Street.

By good luck, he had just finished eating, because the words made him feel physically ill. Right now, Larry could be locked up, waiting to be charged—he might have even been arrested before Larry's visit to the girl last night. If Larry got arrested, she would definitely be involved. So, what would that mean for him? What an idiot to go and check out that archway, to go see the girl! Had that cop really followed him home? An accessory after the fact! Keith Darrant, King's Counsel, a respected man! He forced himself to shake off this panicky feeling, which took a bit of effort that felt almost heroic. Panic never helped anyone. He had to face it and see what was going on. He refused to rush, calmly gathered the papers he needed for the day, and took care of a couple of letters before grabbing a taxi to Fitzroy Street.

Waiting outside there in the grey morning for his ring to be answered, he looked the very picture of a man who knew his mind, a man of resolution. But it needed all his will-power to ask without tremor: “Mr. Darrant in?” to hear without sign of any kind the answer: “He's not up yet, sir.”

Waiting outside in the gray morning for his call to be answered, he looked like a man who was sure of himself, a man with determination. But it took all his willpower to ask without shaking: “Is Mr. Darrant in?” and to hear the response without any hint of emotion: “He’s not up yet, sir.”

“Never mind; I'll go in and see him. Mr. Keith Darrant.”

“Forget it; I'll go in and see him. Mr. Keith Darrant.”

On his way to Laurence's bedroom, in the midst of utter relief, he had the self-possession to think: 'This arrest is the best thing that could have happened. It'll keep their noses on a wrong scent till Larry's got away. The girl must be sent off too, but not with him.' Panic had ended in quite hardening his resolution. He entered the bedroom with a feeling of disgust. The fellow was lying there, his bare arms crossed behind his tousled head, staring at the ceiling, and smoking one of many cigarettes whose ends littered a chair beside him, whose sickly reek tainted the air. That pale face, with its jutting cheek-bones and chin, its hollow cheeks and blue eyes far sunk back—what a wreck of goodness!

On his way to Laurence's bedroom, feeling completely relieved, he managed to think: 'This arrest is the best thing that could've happened. It'll keep them chasing the wrong leads until Larry gets away. The girl needs to be sent off too, but not with him.' Panic had turned into a firm resolve. He walked into the bedroom with a sense of disgust. The guy was lying there, his bare arms crossed behind his messy head, staring at the ceiling, and smoking one of the many cigarettes that cluttered the chair next to him, filling the air with their sickly stench. That pale face, with its prominent cheekbones and chin, hollow cheeks, and deeply set blue eyes—what a ruin of goodness!

He looked up at Keith through the haze of smoke and said quietly: “Well, brother, what's the sentence? 'Transportation for life, and then to be fined forty pounds?'.rdquo;

He looked up at Keith through the haze of smoke and said quietly, “Well, brother, what’s the verdict? 'Life transportation, and then a fine of forty pounds?'”

The flippancy revolted Keith. It was Larry all over! Last night horrified and humble, this morning, “Don't care” and feather-headed. He said sourly:

The casual attitude disgusted Keith. It was classic Larry! Last night he was horrified and humble, but this morning he was all “I don’t care” and scatterbrained. He said with irritation:

“Oh! You can joke about it now?”

“Oh! You can make jokes about it now?”

Laurence turned his face to the wall.

Laurence turned his face to the wall.

“Must.”

"Have to."

Fatalism! How detestable were natures like that!

Fatalism! How detestable were attitudes like that!

“I've been to see her,” he said.

“I’ve gone to see her,” he said.

“You?”

"You?"

“Last night. She can be trusted.”

“Last night. She can be trusted.”

Laurence laughed.

Laurence laughed.

“That I told you.”

“I told you that.”

“I had to see for myself. You must clear out at once, Larry. She can come out to you by the next boat; but you can't go together. Have you any money?”

“I needed to see for myself. You have to leave immediately, Larry. She can come to you on the next boat, but you two can't go together. Do you have any money?”

“No.”

“No.”

“I can foot your expenses, and lend you a year's income in advance. But it must be a clean cut; after you get out there your whereabouts must only be known to me.”

“I can cover your expenses and lend you a year's salary upfront. But it has to be a clean break; after you leave, your location should only be known to me.”

A long sigh answered him.

He heard a long sigh.

“You're very good to me, Keith; you've always been very good. I don't know why.”

“You're really good to me, Keith; you've always been great. I don't know why.”

Keith answered drily

Keith replied dryly

“Nor I. There's a boat to the Argentine tomorrow. You're in luck; they've made an arrest. It's in the paper.”

“Me neither. There's a boat to Argentina tomorrow. You're in luck; they've made an arrest. It's in the newspaper.”

“What?”

“Wait, what?”

The cigarette end dropped, the thin pyjama'd figure writhed up and stood clutching at the bedrail.

The cigarette butt fell, and the thin figure in pajamas twisted up and stood, gripping the bedrail.

“What?”

“What’s up?”

The disturbing thought flitted through Keith's brain: 'I was a fool. He takes it queerly; what now?'

The troubling thought crossed Keith's mind: 'I was an idiot. He reacts strangely; now what?'

Laurence passed his hand over his forehead, and sat down on the bed.

Laurence ran his hand over his forehead and sat down on the bed.

“I hadn't thought of that,” he said; “It does me!”

"I hadn’t thought of that," he said; "It definitely does!"

Keith stared. In his relief that the arrested man was not Laurence, this had not occurred to him. What folly!

Keith stared. In his relief that the arrested man wasn't Laurence, he hadn't thought of this. What a mistake!

“Why?” he said quickly; “an innocent man's in no danger. They always get the wrong man first. It's a piece of luck, that's all. It gives us time.”

“Why?” he asked quickly. “An innocent person is never in danger. They always catch the wrong person first. It’s just a stroke of luck, that’s all. It gives us time.”

How often had he not seen that expression on Larry's face, wistful, questioning, as if trying to see the thing with his—Keith's-eyes, trying to submit to better judgment? And he said, almost gently—

How many times had he seen that look on Larry's face, longing and inquisitive, as if he were trying to see things through Keith's eyes, trying to yield to better judgment? And he said, almost softly—

“Now, look here, Larry; this is too serious to trifle with. Don't worry about that. Leave it to me. Just get ready to be off'. I'll take your berth and make arrangements. Here's some money for kit. I can come round between five and six, and let you know. Pull yourself together, man. As soon as the girl's joined you out there, you'd better get across to Chile, the further the better. You must simply lose yourself: I must go now, if I'm to get to the Bank before I go down to the courts.” And looking very steadily at his brother, he added:

“Now, listen, Larry; this is too important to mess around with. Don’t stress about it. Leave it to me. Just get ready to leave. I’ll take your spot and handle the arrangements. Here’s some cash for supplies. I can come by between five and six to fill you in. Pull yourself together, man. As soon as the girl joins you out there, you should head to Chile, as far away as possible. You need to disappear: I have to go now if I want to make it to the bank before heading to the courts.” And looking very intently at his brother, he added:

“Come! You've got to think of me in this matter as well as of yourself. No playing fast and loose with the arrangements. Understand?”

“Come on! You need to consider me in this situation just as much as yourself. No messing around with the plans. Got it?”

But still Larry gazed up at him with that wistful questioning, and not till he had repeated, “Understand?” did he receive “Yes” for answer.

But still, Larry looked up at him with that longing question in his eyes, and only after he repeated, “Do you understand?” did he get a “Yes” in response.

Driving away, he thought: 'Queer fellow! I don't know him, shall never know him!' and at once began to concentrate on the practical arrangements. At his bank he drew out L400; but waiting for the notes to be counted he suffered qualms. A clumsy way of doing things! If there had been more time! The thought: 'Accessory after the fact!' now infected everything. Notes were traceable. No other way of getting him away at once, though. One must take lesser risks to avoid greater. From the bank he drove to the office of the steamship line. He had told Larry he would book his passage. But that would not do! He must only ask anonymously if there were accommodation. Having discovered that there were vacant berths, he drove on to the Law Courts. If he could have taken a morning off, he would have gone down to the police court and seen them charge this man. But even that was not too safe, with a face so well known as his. What would come of this arrest? Nothing, surely! The police always took somebody up, to keep the public quiet. Then, suddenly, he had again the feeling that it was all a nightmare; Larry had never done it; the police had got the right man! But instantly the memory of the girl's awe-stricken face, her figure huddling on the sofa, her words “I see him always falling!” came back. God! What a business!

Driving away, he thought, "What a strange guy! I don’t know him and I never will!" and immediately shifted his focus to the practical details. At the bank, he withdrew £400, but while he waited for the cash to be counted, he started to feel uneasy. What a clumsy way to handle things! If only there had been more time! The thought "Accessory after the fact!" started to cloud everything. The bills could be traced. But there really was no other way to get him out of there quickly. Sometimes, you have to take smaller risks to avoid bigger ones. From the bank, he headed to the steamship line office. He had told Larry he would book his passage, but that wouldn’t work! He needed to just ask anonymously if there were any available spots. After finding out there were open berths, he continued on to the Law Courts. If he could have taken a morning off, he would have gone down to the police court to see them charge this man. But even that didn’t feel too safe, considering how recognizable the guy was. What would happen from this arrest? Probably nothing! The police always picked someone up just to keep the public calm. Then suddenly, he felt like it was all a bad dream; Larry hadn’t done it; the police had arrested the right person! But instantly, the memory of the girl’s terrified face, her figure curled up on the sofa, her words "I see him always falling!" came rushing back. God! What a mess!

He felt he had never been more clear-headed and forcible than that morning in court. When he came out for lunch he bought the most sensational of the evening papers. But it was yet too early for news, and he had to go back into court no whit wiser concerning the arrest. When at last he threw off wig and gown, and had got through a conference and other necessary work, he went out to Chancery Lane, buying a paper on the way. Then he hailed a cab, and drove once more to Fitzroy Street.

He felt clearer and more decisive than ever that morning in court. When he stepped out for lunch, he grabbed the most sensational evening paper. But it was still too early for any news, and he had to head back into court no wiser about the arrest. Finally, after he took off his wig and gown and finished a meeting and other necessary tasks, he went out to Chancery Lane, buying a paper on the way. Then he hailed a cab and drove again to Fitzroy Street.





V

Laurence had remained sitting on his bed for many minutes. An innocent man in no danger! Keith had said it—the celebrated lawyer! Could he rely on that? Go out 8,000 miles, he and the girl, and leave a fellow-creature perhaps in mortal peril for an act committed by himself?

Laurence had been sitting on his bed for a long time. An innocent man in no danger! Keith had said it—the famous lawyer! Could he trust that? Go out 8,000 miles with the girl and leave someone else possibly in danger for something he had done?

In the past night he had touched bottom, as he thought: become ready to face anything. When Keith came in he would without murmur have accepted the advice: “Give yourself up!” He was prepared to pitch away the end of his life as he pitched from him the fag-ends of his cigarettes. And the long sigh he had heaved, hearing of reprieve, had been only half relief. Then, with incredible swiftness there had rushed through him a feeling of unutterable joy and hope. Clean away—into a new country, a new life! The girl and he! Out there he wouldn't care, would rejoice even to have squashed the life out of such a noisome beetle of a man. Out there! Under a new sun, where blood ran quicker than in this foggy land, and people took justice into their own hands. For it had been justice on that brute even though he had not meant to kill him. And then to hear of this arrest! They would be charging the man to-day. He could go and see the poor creature accused of the murder he himself had committed! And he laughed. Go and see how likely it was that they might hang a fellow-man in place of himself? He dressed, but too shaky to shave himself, went out to a barber's shop. While there he read the news which Keith had seen. In this paper the name of the arrested man was given: “John Evan, no address.” To be brought up on the charge at Bow Street. Yes! He must go. Once, twice, three times he walked past the entrance of the court before at last he entered and screwed himself away among the tag and bobtail.

Last night he had hit rock bottom, or so he thought: he was ready to face anything. When Keith came in, he would have accepted the advice without hesitation: “Surrender!” He was ready to throw away the end of his life just like he tossed the butts of his cigarettes. The long sigh he released upon hearing about the reprieve was only half a relief. Then, with incredible speed, a feeling of pure joy and hope rushed through him. Clean break—into a new place, a new life! Him and the girl! Out there, he wouldn't care; he would even celebrate having crushed the life out of that disgusting guy. Out there! Under a new sun, where blood pumped faster than in this murky country, and people took justice into their own hands. Because that had been justice against that brute, even though he hadn’t meant to kill him. And then to hear about this arrest! They would charge the man today. He could go and see the poor soul accused of the murder he himself had committed! And he laughed. Go see how likely it was that they might hang someone else instead of him? He got dressed, but feeling too shaky to shave, he went out to a barber. While there, he read the news that Keith had seen. In this paper, the arrested man’s name was given: “John Evan, no address.” He’d be brought up on charges at Bow Street. Yes! He had to go. Once, twice, three times he walked past the entrance of the court before finally entering and squeezing himself among the crowd.

The court was crowded; and from the murmurs round he could tell that it was his particular case which had brought so many there. In a dazed way he watched charge after charge disposed of with lightning quickness. But were they never going to reach his business? And then suddenly he saw the little scarecrow man of last night advancing to the dock between two policemen, more ragged and miserable than ever by light of day, like some shaggy, wan, grey animal, surrounded by sleek hounds.

The courtroom was packed, and from the whispers around him, he could tell that it was his case that had drawn so many people there. In a daze, he watched charge after charge handled with lightning speed. But were they ever going to get to his case? Then suddenly, he saw the little scarecrow man from last night being escorted to the dock by two policemen, looking even more ragged and miserable in the daylight, like a shabby, worn-out gray animal surrounded by sleek hounds.

A sort of satisfied purr was rising all round; and with horror Laurence perceived that this—this was the man accused of what he himself had done—this queer, battered unfortunate to whom he had shown a passing friendliness. Then all feeling merged in the appalling interest of listening. The evidence was very short. Testimony of the hotel-keeper where Walenn had been staying, the identification of his body, and of a snake-shaped ring he had been wearing at dinner that evening. Testimony of a pawnbroker, that this same ring was pawned with him the first thing yesterday morning by the prisoner. Testimony of a policeman that he had noticed the man Evan several times in Glove Lane, and twice moved him on from sleeping under that arch. Testimony of another policeman that, when arrested at midnight, Evan had said: “Yes; I took the ring off his finger. I found him there dead .... I know I oughtn't to have done it.... I'm an educated man; it was stupid to pawn the ring. I found him with his pockets turned inside out.”

A sort of satisfied murmur was rising all around; and with horror, Laurence realized that this—this was the man accused of what he himself had done—this strange, battered unfortunate to whom he had shown a brief kindness. Then all feeling blended into the awful interest of listening. The evidence was very brief. Testimony from the hotel owner where Walenn had been staying, the identification of his body, and of a snake-shaped ring he had worn at dinner that evening. Testimony from a pawnbroker that this same ring was pawned with him first thing yesterday morning by the prisoner. Testimony from a policeman that he had seen the man Evan several times in Glove Lane and had twice moved him on from sleeping under that arch. Testimony from another policeman that, when arrested at midnight, Evan had said: “Yes; I took the ring off his finger. I found him there dead .... I know I shouldn’t have done it.... I’m an educated man; it was stupid to pawn the ring. I found him with his pockets turned inside out.”

Fascinating and terrible to sit staring at the man in whose place he should have been; to wonder when those small bright-grey bloodshot eyes would spy him out, and how he would meet that glance. Like a baited raccoon the little man stood, screwed back into a corner, mournful, cynical, fierce, with his ridged, obtuse yellow face, and his stubbly grey beard and hair, and his eyes wandering now and again amongst the crowd. But with all his might Laurence kept his face unmoved. Then came the word “Remanded”; and, more like a baited beast than ever, the man was led away.

Fascinating and terrifying to sit there staring at the man who should have been in his place; to wonder when those small bright-grey bloodshot eyes would spot him, and how he would react to that look. Like a cornered raccoon, the little man stood there, hunched back in a corner, sad, cynical, and fierce, with his wrinkled, blunt yellow face, and his scruffy grey beard and hair, his eyes drifting now and then among the crowd. But with all his strength, Laurence kept his expression neutral. Then came the word “Remanded”; and, more like a cornered animal than ever, the man was led away.

Laurence sat on, a cold perspiration thick on his forehead. Someone else, then, had come on the body and turned the pockets inside out before John Evan took the ring. A man such as Walenn would not be out at night without money. Besides, if Evan had found money on the body he would never have run the risk of taking that ring. Yes, someone else had come on the body first. It was for that one to come forward, and prove that the ring was still on the dead man's finger when he left him, and thus clear Evan. He clung to that thought; it seemed to make him less responsible for the little man's position; to remove him and his own deed one step further back. If they found the person who had taken the money, it would prove Evan's innocence. He came out of the court in a sort of trance. And a craving to get drunk attacked him. One could not go on like this without the relief of some oblivion. If he could only get drunk, keep drunk till this business was decided and he knew whether he must give himself up or no. He had now no fear at all of people suspecting him; only fear of himself—fear that he might go and give himself up. Now he could see the girl; the danger from that was as nothing compared with the danger from his own conscience. He had promised Keith not to see her. Keith had been decent and loyal to him—good old Keith! But he would never understand that this girl was now all he cared about in life; that he would rather be cut off from life itself than be cut off from her. Instead of becoming less and less, she was becoming more and more to him—experience strange and thrilling! Out of deep misery she had grown happy—through him; out of a sordid, shifting life recovered coherence and bloom, through devotion to him him, of all people in the world! It was a miracle. She demanded nothing of him, adored him, as no other woman ever had—it was this which had anchored his drifting barque; this—and her truthful mild intelligence, and that burning warmth of a woman, who, long treated by men as but a sack of sex, now loves at last.

Laurence sat there, cold sweat beading on his forehead. Someone else must have found the body and turned the pockets inside out before John Evan took the ring. A man like Walenn wouldn’t be out at night without cash. Besides, if Evan had found money on the body, he wouldn’t have risked taking that ring. Yes, someone else had come across the body first. It was up to that person to step forward and prove that the ring was still on the dead man's finger when they left, clearing Evan's name. He held onto that thought; it made him feel less responsible for the little man's situation, taking him and his own actions one step further away from the blame. If they found the person who took the money, it would show Evan's innocence. He walked out of the court feeling dazed. A strong urge to get drunk hit him. He couldn’t keep going like this without some kind of escape. If only he could get drunk and stay that way until this mess was resolved and he knew whether he needed to turn himself in or not. He wasn't afraid of people suspecting him anymore; he only feared his own impulses—fear that he might actually turn himself in. Now he could see the girl; the danger posed by that was nothing compared to the danger from his own conscience. He had promised Keith not to see her. Keith had been decent and loyal to him—good old Keith! But he would never understand that this girl was all that mattered to him now; he would rather be cut off from life itself than be cut off from her. Instead of fading away, she was becoming more and more important to him—what a strange and thrilling experience! Out of deep misery, she had found happiness—because of him; out of a chaotic, miserable life, she had regained clarity and vibrance, all through her devotion to him, of all people! It was a miracle. She expected nothing from him, adored him in a way that no other woman ever had—it was this love that had anchored his drifting life; this—and her honest, gentle intelligence, and the passionate warmth of a woman who, after being treated by men as just a sexual object, was finally able to love.

And suddenly, mastering his craving to get drunk, he made towards Soho. He had been a fool to give those keys to Keith. She must have been frightened by his visit; and, perhaps, doubly miserable since, knowing nothing, imagining everything! Keith was sure to have terrified her. Poor little thing!

And suddenly, controlling his urge to drink, he headed towards Soho. He had been an idiot to give those keys to Keith. She must have been scared by his visit; and, maybe, even more miserable since she knew nothing and imagined everything! Keith was definitely able to frighten her. Poor thing!

Down the street where he had stolen in the dark with the dead body on his back, he almost ran for the cover of her house. The door was opened to him before he knocked, her arms were round his neck, her lips pressed to his. The fire was out, as if she had been unable to remember to keep warm. A stool had been drawn to the window, and there she had evidently been sitting, like a bird in a cage, looking out into the grey street. Though she had been told that he was not to come, instinct had kept her there; or the pathetic, aching hope against hope which lovers never part with.

Down the street where he had sneaked away in the dark with the dead body on his back, he almost sprinted to the safety of her house. The door swung open before he could knock, her arms wrapped around his neck, her lips pressed against his. The fire was out, as if she had forgotten to keep warm. A stool was pulled up to the window, and she had clearly been sitting there, like a bird in a cage, staring out into the gray street. Even though she had been told he wasn’t supposed to come, some instinct kept her there; or perhaps it was the sad, desperate hope that lovers never truly let go of.

Now that he was there, her first thoughts were for his comfort. The fire was lighted. He must eat, drink, smoke. There was never in her doings any of the “I am doing this for you, but you ought to be doing that for me” which belongs to so many marriages, and liaisons. She was like a devoted slave, so in love with the chains that she never knew she wore them. And to Laurence, who had so little sense of property, this only served to deepen tenderness, and the hold she had on him. He had resolved not to tell her of the new danger he ran from his own conscience. But resolutions with him were but the opposites of what was sure to come; and at last the words:

Now that he was there, her first thoughts were for his comfort. The fire was lit. He needed to eat, drink, and smoke. She never had that “I do this for you, but you should do that for me” attitude that so many couples have. She was like a devoted servant, so in love with the chains that she never realized she was wearing them. And for Laurence, who cared little about ownership, this only deepened his affection and the connection he had to her. He had decided not to share with her the new danger he faced from his own conscience. But his decisions were often the opposite of what ended up happening; and finally, the words:

“They've arrested someone,” escaped him.

"They've arrested someone," he said.

From her face he knew she had grasped the danger at once; had divined it, perhaps, before he spoke. But she only twined her arms round him and kissed his lips. And he knew that she was begging him to put his love for her above his conscience. Who would ever have thought that he could feel as he did to this girl who had been in the arms of many! The stained and suffering past of a loved woman awakens in some men only chivalry; in others, more respectable, it rouses a tigerish itch, a rancorous jealousy of what in the past was given to others. Sometimes it will do both. When he had her in his arms he felt no remorse for killing the coarse, handsome brute who had ruined her. He savagely rejoiced in it. But when she laid her head in the hollow of his shoulder, turning to him her white face with the faint colour-staining on the parted lips, the cheeks, the eyelids; when her dark, wide-apart, brown eyes gazed up in the happiness of her abandonment—he felt only tenderness and protection.

From her face, he knew she had understood the danger immediately; she might have sensed it even before he spoke. But she just wrapped her arms around him and kissed his lips. He realized she was asking him to prioritize his love for her over his conscience. Who would have thought he could feel this way about a girl who had been with many others? The troubled and painful past of a woman he loved ignites in some men only a sense of chivalry; in others, who are more respectable, it provokes a jealous rage, a bitter resentment for what she had given to others in the past. Sometimes it can do both. When he held her, he felt no guilt for killing the coarse, attractive man who had hurt her. He took twisted pleasure in it. But when she rested her head on his shoulder, turning her pale face towards him with the faint color on her parted lips, cheeks, and eyelids; when her dark, widely spaced brown eyes looked up at him in the bliss of her surrender—he felt only tenderness and a desire to protect her.

He left her at five o'clock, and had not gone two streets' length before the memory of the little grey vagabond, screwed back in the far corner of the dock like a baited raccoon, of his dreary, creaking voice, took possession of him again; and a kind of savagery mounted in his brain against a world where one could be so tortured without having meant harm to anyone.

He left her at five o'clock and hadn’t walked more than two blocks when the memory of the little gray drifter, huddled in the far corner of the dock like a trapped raccoon, and his sad, creaky voice took over his mind again; a kind of anger rose in him against a world where someone could be so tortured without ever intending to hurt anyone.

At the door of his lodgings Keith was getting out of a cab. They went in together, but neither of them sat down; Keith standing with his back to the carefully shut door, Laurence with his back to the table, as if they knew there was a tug coming. And Keith said: “There's room on that boat. Go down and book your berth before they shut. Here's the money!”

At the entrance of his place, Keith was getting out of a cab. They went inside together, but neither of them took a seat; Keith stood with his back against the tightly closed door, while Laurence faced away from the table, both seeming aware that something was about to happen. Then Keith said, “There’s space on that boat. Go downstairs and book your spot before they close. Here’s the cash!”

“I'm going to stick it, Keith.”

“I'm going to go for it, Keith.”

Keith stepped forward, and put a roll of notes on the table.

Keith stepped forward and placed a roll of cash on the table.

“Now look here, Larry. I've read the police court proceedings. There's nothing in that. Out of prison, or in prison for a few weeks, it's all the same to a night-bird of that sort. Dismiss it from your mind—there's not nearly enough evidence to convict. This gives you your chance. Take it like a man, and make a new life for yourself.”

“Listen up, Larry. I’ve gone through the police court records. There’s nothing there. Whether you’re out of prison or in for a few weeks, it makes no difference to someone like him. Forget about it—there’s not enough evidence to get a conviction. This is your opportunity. Take it like a man and start fresh.”

Laurence smiled; but the smile had a touch of madness and a touch of malice. He took up the notes.

Laurence smiled, but there was a hint of craziness and a bit of spite in that smile. He picked up the notes.

“Clear out, and save the honour of brother Keith. Put them back in your pocket, Keith, or I'll put them in the fire. Come, take them!” And, crossing to the fire, he held them to the bars. “Take them, or in they go!”

“Get out of the way, and save brother Keith’s honor. Put them back in your pocket, Keith, or I’ll throw them in the fire. Come on, take them!” And, moving to the fire, he held them up to the bars. “Take them, or they’re going in!”

Keith took back the notes.

Keith retrieved the notes.

“I've still got some kind of honour, Keith; if I clear out I shall have none, not the rag of any, left. It may be worth more to me than that—I can't tell yet—I can't tell.” There was a long silence before Keith answered. “I tell you you're mistaken; no jury will convict. If they did, a judge would never hang on it. A ghoul who can rob a dead body ought to be in prison. What he did is worse than what you did, if you come to that!” Laurence lifted his face. “Judge not, brother,” he said; “the heart is a dark well.” Keith's yellowish face grew red and swollen, as though he were mastering the tickle of a bronchial cough. “What are you going to do, then? I suppose I may ask you not to be entirely oblivious of our name; or is such a consideration unworthy of your honour?” Laurence bent his head. The gesture said more clearly than words: 'Don't kick a man when he's down!'

“I still have some kind of honor, Keith; if I walk away, I’ll have none left, not a scrap of it. It might be more valuable to me than I realize—I can’t say yet—I can’t say.” There was a long silence before Keith responded. “I’m telling you, you’re wrong; no jury will convict you. If they did, a judge would never pass a sentence on it. A creep who can rob a corpse deserves to be in prison. What he did is worse than what you did, if you really think about it!” Laurence lifted his face. “Don’t judge, brother,” he said; “the heart is a dark well.” Keith's yellowish face turned red and swollen, as if he was suppressing a bronchial cough. “What are you going to do then? I suppose I can ask you not to completely forget our name; or is such a consideration beneath your honor?” Laurence bowed his head. The gesture said more clearly than words: 'Don’t kick a man when he’s down!'

“I don't know what I'm going to do—nothing at present. I'm awfully sorry, Keith; awfully sorry.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do—nothing right now. I’m really sorry, Keith; really sorry.”

Keith looked at him, and without another word went out.

Keith stared at him, and without saying anything else, left.





VI

To any, save philosophers, reputation may be threatened almost as much by disgrace to name and family as by the disgrace of self. Keith's instinct was always to deal actively with danger. But this blow, whether it fell on him by discovery or by confession, could not be countered. As blight falls on a rose from who knows where, the scandalous murk would light on him. No repulse possible! Not even a wriggling from under! Brother of a murderer hung or sent to penal servitude! His daughter niece to a murderer! His dead mother-a murderer's mother! And to wait day after day, week after week, not knowing whether the blow would fall, was an extraordinarily atrocious penance, the injustice of which, to a man of rectitude, seemed daily the more monstrous.

To anyone except philosophers, a person's reputation can be threatened just as much by shame to their name and family as by personal disgrace. Keith's instinct was always to confront danger head-on. But this blow, whether it came from discovery or confession, couldn't be avoided. Like blight that suddenly hits a rose from an unknown source, the scandalous shadow would fall on him. There was no way to repel it! Not even a chance to escape! The brother of a murderer hanging in shame or sent to prison! His daughter related to a murderer! His deceased mother—a murderer's mother! And to wait day after day, week after week, not knowing when the blow would come, was an incredibly horrific punishment, the unfairness of which, to an upright man, seemed more monstrous with each passing day.

The remand had produced evidence that the murdered man had been drinking heavily on the night of his death, and further evidence of the accused's professional vagabondage and destitution; it was shown, too, that for some time the archway in Glove Lane had been his favourite night haunt. He had been committed for trial in January. This time, despite misgivings, Keith had attended the police court. To his great relief Larry was not there. But the policeman who had come up while he was looking at the archway, and given him afterwards that scare in the girl's rooms, was chief witness to the way the accused man haunted Glove Lane. Though Keith held his silk hat high, he still had the uncomfortable feeling that the man had recognised him.

The remand had provided evidence that the murdered man had been drinking heavily on the night he died, along with additional evidence of the accused's transient lifestyle and poverty; it was also shown that for some time the archway in Glove Lane had been his favorite late-night spot. He had been committed for trial in January. This time, despite his concerns, Keith had gone to the police court. To his great relief, Larry was not there. However, the policeman who had approached him while he was looking at the archway and had later frightened him in the girl's rooms was the main witness to how the accused man frequented Glove Lane. Even though Keith held his silk hat high, he still felt uneasy that the man had recognized him.

His conscience suffered few, if any, twinges for letting this man rest under the shadow of the murder. He genuinely believed that there was not evidence enough to convict; nor was it in him to appreciate the tortures of a vagabond shut up. The scamp deserved what he had got, for robbing a dead body; and in any case such a scarecrow was better off in prison than sleeping out under archways in December. Sentiment was foreign to Keith's character, and his justice that of those who subordinate the fates of the weak and shiftless to the needful paramountcy of the strong and well established.

His conscience felt little to no guilt for letting this man remain suspected of murder. He truly believed that there wasn't enough evidence to convict; he also couldn't empathize with the suffering of a vagabond in confinement. The guy got what he deserved for robbing a corpse, and anyway, a drifter was better off in prison than sleeping in archways in December. Compassion was foreign to Keith's nature, and his sense of justice reflected that of those who prioritize the needs of the strong and stable over the fates of the weak and struggling.

His daughter came back from school for the Christmas holidays. It was hard to look up from her bright eyes and rosy cheeks and see this shadow hanging above his calm and ordered life, as in a glowing room one's eye may catch an impending patch of darkness drawn like a spider's web across a corner of the ceiling.

His daughter came back from school for the Christmas break. It was tough to look past her bright eyes and rosy cheeks and see the shadow looming over his calm and organized life, like a patch of darkness creeping like a spider's web across a corner of a glowing room.

On the afternoon of Christmas Eve they went, by her desire, to a church in Soho, where the Christmas Oratorio was being given; and coming away passed, by chance of a wrong turning, down Borrow Street. Ugh! How that startled moment, when the girl had pressed herself against him in the dark, and her terror-stricken whisper: “Oh! Who is it?” leaped out before him! Always that business—that ghastly business! After the trial he would have another try to get them both away. And he thrust his arm within his young daughter's, hurrying her on, out of this street where shadows filled all the winter air.

On Christmas Eve afternoon, they went, as she wished, to a church in Soho, where the Christmas Oratorio was being performed; and while leaving, they accidentally took a wrong turn down Borrow Street. Ugh! That shocking moment when the girl pressed against him in the dark, whispering in terror, “Oh! Who is it?” flashed back to him! Always that haunting memory—that horrible experience! After the trial, he would try again to get them both away. He wrapped his arm around his young daughter’s, urging her to move faster out of this street where shadows filled the cold winter air.

But that evening when she had gone to bed he felt uncontrollably restless. He had not seen Larry for weeks. What was he about? What desperations were hatching in his disorderly brain? Was he very miserable; had he perhaps sunk into a stupor of debauchery? And the old feeling of protectiveness rose up in him; a warmth born of long ago Christmas Eves, when they had stockings hung out in the night stuffed by a Santa Claus, whose hand never failed to tuck them up, whose kiss was their nightly waft into sleep.

But that evening when she went to bed, he felt an overwhelming restlessness. He hadn't seen Larry for weeks. What was he up to? What kind of struggles was he dealing with in his chaotic mind? Was he really unhappy? Had he maybe fallen into a binge of excess? And that old feeling of wanting to protect him bubbled up inside; a warmth that reminded him of long-ago Christmas Eves, when they hung up stockings at night, filled by a Santa Claus who always made sure to tuck them in, whose kiss was their nightly lullaby into sleep.

Stars were sparkling out there over the river; the sky frosty-clear, and black. Bells had not begun to ring as yet. And obeying an obscure, deep impulse, Keith wrapped himself once more into his fur coat, pulled a motoring cap over his eyes, and sallied forth. In the Strand he took a cab to Fitzroy Street. There was no light in Larry's windows, and on a card he saw the words “To Let.” Gone! Had he after all cleared out for good? But how-without money? And the girl? Bells were ringing now in the silent frostiness. Christmas Eve! And Keith thought: 'If only this wretched business were off my mind! Monstrous that one should suffer for the faults of others!' He took a route which led him past Borrow Street. Solitude brooded there, and he walked resolutely down on the far side, looking hard at the girl's window. There was a light. The curtains just failed to meet, so that a thin gleam shone through. He crossed; and after glancing swiftly up and down, deliberately peered in.

Stars were sparkling over the river; the sky was clear and black with frost. The bells hadn't started ringing yet. Following a mysterious urge, Keith wrapped himself in his fur coat, pulled a motoring cap down over his eyes, and stepped out. In the Strand, he took a cab to Fitzroy Street. There was no light in Larry's windows, and on a sign, he saw the words "For Rent." Gone! Had he actually left for good? But how—without any money? And what about the girl? The bells were ringing now in the chilly air. Christmas Eve! Keith thought: 'If only this frustrating issue would disappear from my mind! It's unfair to suffer because of other people's mistakes!' He took a route that led him past Borrow Street. It was quiet there, and he walked determinedly on the far side, staring intently at the girl's window. There was a light. The curtains nearly met, allowing a faint glow to shine through. He crossed the street, and after quickly glancing up and down, he peered inside intentionally.

He only stood there perhaps twenty seconds, but visual records gleaned in a moment sometimes outlast the visions of hours and days. The electric light was not burning; but, in the centre of the room the girl was kneeling in her nightgown before a little table on which were four lighted candles. Her arms were crossed on her breast; the candle-light shone on her fair cropped hair, on the profile of cheek and chin, on her bowed white neck. For a moment he thought her alone; then behind her saw his brother in a sleeping suit, leaning against the wall, with arms crossed, watching. It was the expression on his face which burned the whole thing in, so that always afterwards he was able to see that little scene—such an expression as could never have been on the face of one even faintly conscious that he was watched by any living thing on earth. The whole of Larry's heart and feeling seemed to have come up out of him. Yearning, mockery, love, despair! The depth of his feeling for this girl, his stress of mind, fears, hopes; the flotsam good and evil of his soul, all transfigured there, exposed and unforgettable. The candle-light shone upward on to his face, twisted by the strangest smile; his eyes, darker and more wistful than mortal eyes should be, seemed to beseech and mock the white-clad girl, who, all unconscious, knelt without movement, like a carved figure of devotion. The words seemed coming from his lips: “Pray for us! Bravo! Yes! Pray for us!” And suddenly Keith saw her stretch out her arms, and lift her face with a look of ecstasy, and Laurence starting forward. What had she seen beyond the candle flames? It is the unexpected which invests visions with poignancy. Nothing more strange could Keith have seen in this nest of the murky and illicit. But in sheer panic lest he might be caught thus spying he drew back and hurried on. So Larry was living there with her! When the moment came he could still find him.

He only stood there for maybe twenty seconds, but sometimes a visual memory captured in an instant lasts longer than hours or days. The electric light was off, but in the center of the room, the girl was kneeling in her nightgown in front of a small table with four lit candles. Her arms were crossed over her chest; the candlelight illuminated her short fair hair, the outline of her cheek and chin, and her bowed white neck. For a moment, he thought she was alone; then he noticed his brother behind her in a sleep suit, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, watching. It was the expression on his brother's face that etched the entire scene in his mind, so that he could always recall that little moment—an expression that could never belong to someone even slightly aware of being observed by any living soul. Every bit of Larry's heart and emotion seemed to be laid bare. Longing, mockery, love, despair! The intensity of his feelings for this girl, his mental turmoil, fears, hopes; the mixture of good and evil from his soul, all revealed there, exposed and unforgettable. The candlelight illuminated his face, contorted by the strangest smile; his eyes, darker and more wistful than anyone's should be, appeared to implore and mock the unaware girl, who knelt still like a carved figure of devotion. Words seemed to be forming on his lips: “Pray for us! Bravo! Yes! Pray for us!” Then suddenly Keith saw her reach out her arms and lift her face with a look of ecstasy while Laurence moved forward. What had she seen beyond the candle flames? It's the unexpected that gives moments their emotional weight. Nothing could have seemed stranger to Keith in this murky, questionable situation. But in sheer panic at the thought of being caught spying, he stepped back and hurried away. So Larry was there with her! When the time came, he would still be able to find him.

Before going in, he stood full five minutes leaning on the terrace parapet before his house, gazing at the star-frosted sky, and the river cut by the trees into black pools, oiled over by gleams from the Embankment lamps. And, deep down, behind his mere thoughts, he ached-somehow, somewhere ached. Beyond the cage of all that he saw and heard and thought, he had perceived something he could not reach. But the night was cold, the bells silent, for it had struck twelve. Entering his house, he stole upstairs.

Before going in, he stood for a full five minutes leaning on the terrace railing outside his house, staring at the starry sky and the river, which was broken up by the trees into dark pools, shimmering from the lights of the Embankment lamps. And deep down, beneath his thoughts, he felt a dull ache—somehow, somewhere he was aching. Beyond all the things he could see, hear, and think, he sensed something that eluded him. But the night was cold, the bells were silent because it had just struck twelve. As he entered his house, he quietly made his way upstairs.





VII

If for Keith those six weeks before the Glove Lane murder trial came on were fraught with uneasiness and gloom, they were for Laurence almost the happiest since his youth. From the moment when he left his rooms and went to the girl's to live, a kind of peace and exaltation took possession of him. Not by any effort of will did he throw off the nightmare hanging over him. Nor was he drugged by love. He was in a sort of spiritual catalepsy. In face of fate too powerful for his will, his turmoil, anxiety, and even restlessness had ceased; his life floated in the ether of “what must come, will.” Out of this catalepsy, his spirit sometimes fell headlong into black waters. In one such whirlpool he was struggling on the night of Christmas Eve. When the girl rose from her knees he asked her:

If those six weeks leading up to the Glove Lane murder trial were filled with anxiety and sadness for Keith, they were some of the happiest for Laurence since his youth. From the moment he moved out of his place and in with the girl, a sense of peace and upliftment took over him. He didn’t shake off the nightmare hanging over him through sheer will, nor was he lost in love. He was in a kind of spiritual paralysis. Faced with a fate too strong for his will, his turmoil, anxiety, and even restlessness vanished; his life floated in the realm of “what must come, will.” In this paralysis, his spirit would sometimes plunge into dark depths. On the night of Christmas Eve, he found himself struggling in one of those whirlpools. When the girl rose from her knees, he asked her:

“What did you see?”

"What did you spot?"

Pressing close to him, she drew him down on to the floor before the fire; and they sat, knees drawn up, hands clasped, like two children trying to see over the edge of the world.

Pressing close to him, she pulled him down onto the floor in front of the fire; and they sat, knees pulled up, hands intertwined, like two kids trying to see over the edge of the world.

“It was the Virgin I saw. She stood against the wall and smiled. We shall be happy soon.”

“It was the Virgin I saw. She stood against the wall and smiled. We will be happy soon.”

“When we die, Wanda,” he said, suddenly, “let it be together. We shall keep each other warm, out there.”

“When we die, Wanda,” he said suddenly, “let’s go out together. We’ll keep each other warm out there.”

Huddling to him she whispered: “Yes, oh, yes! If you die, I could not go on living.”

Huddling close to him, she whispered, “Yes, oh, yes! If you die, I couldn’t go on living.”

It was this utter dependence on him, the feeling that he had rescued something, which gave him sense of anchorage. That, and his buried life in the retreat of these two rooms. Just for an hour in the morning, from nine to ten, the charwoman would come, but not another soul all day. They never went out together. He would stay in bed late, while Wanda bought what they needed for the day's meals; lying on his back, hands clasped behind his head, recalling her face, the movements of her slim, rounded, supple figure, robing itself before his gaze; feeling again the kiss she had left on his lips, the gleam of her soft eyes, so strangely dark in so fair a face. In a sort of trance he would lie till she came back. Then get up to breakfast about noon off things which she had cooked, drinking coffee. In the afternoon he would go out alone and walk for hours, any where, so long as it was East. To the East there was always suffering to be seen, always that which soothed him with the feeling that he and his troubles were only a tiny part of trouble; that while so many other sorrowing and shadowy creatures lived he was not cut off. To go West was to encourage dejection. In the West all was like Keith, successful, immaculate, ordered, resolute. He would come back tired out, and sit watching her cook their little dinner. The evenings were given up to love. Queer trance of an existence, which both were afraid to break. No sign from her of wanting those excitements which girls who have lived her life, even for a few months, are supposed to need. She never asked him to take her anywhere; never, in word, deed, look, seemed anything but almost rapturously content. And yet he knew, and she knew, that they were only waiting to see whether Fate would turn her thumb down on them. In these days he did not drink. Out of his quarter's money, when it came in, he had paid his debts—their expenses were very small. He never went to see Keith, never wrote to him, hardly thought of him. And from those dread apparitions—Walenn lying with the breath choked out of him, and the little grey, driven animal in the dock—he hid, as only a man can who must hide or be destroyed. But daily he bought a newspaper, and feverishly, furtively scanned its columns.

It was this complete reliance on him, the feeling that he had saved something, that gave him a sense of stability. That, along with his secluded life in those two rooms. For just one hour in the morning, from nine to ten, the cleaner would come, but no one else all day. They never went out together. He would stay in bed late while Wanda bought what they needed for meals; lying on his back, hands clasped behind his head, remembering her face, the movements of her slim, rounded, flexible figure, undressing before him; feeling again the kiss she had left on his lips, the sparkle of her soft eyes, so oddly dark on such a fair face. He would lie there in a sort of trance until she came back. Then he would get up for breakfast around noon, eating what she had cooked, drinking coffee. In the afternoon, he would go out alone and walk for hours, anywhere, as long as it was east. To the east, there was always suffering to observe, always something that comforted him with the feeling that he and his issues were just a tiny part of the bigger troubles; that while so many other sorrowful and shadowy beings lived, he was not isolated. Heading west was a path to sadness. In the west, everything was like Keith—successful, pristine, organized, determined. He would come back exhausted, sitting and watching her make their small dinner. The evenings were dedicated to love. A strange trance of an existence, which both were afraid to disrupt. She never showed any signs of wanting the excitement that girls who had lived her life, even for a few months, are supposed to crave. She never asked him to take her anywhere; never, in word, action, or glance, did she seem anything but nearly blissfully satisfied. And yet he knew, and she knew, that they were just waiting to see whether Fate would decide against them. During these days, he didn’t drink. When his quarter's money arrived, he had paid his debts— their expenses were minimal. He never visited Keith, never wrote to him, barely thought about him. And from those dreadful visions—Walenn lying there with the breath choked out of him, and the little gray, beaten animal in the dock—he hid, just like a man can who must conceal or be destroyed. But every day he bought a newspaper, and feverishly, secretly scanned its columns.





VIII

Coming out of the Law Courts on the afternoon of January 28th, at the triumphant end of a desperately fought will case, Keith saw on a poster the words: “Glove Lane Murder: Trial and Verdict”; and with a rush of dismay he thought: 'Good God! I never looked at the paper this morning!' The elation which had filled him a second before, the absorption he had felt for two days now in the case so hardly won, seemed suddenly quite sickeningly trivial. What on earth had he been doing to forget that horrible business even for an instant? He stood quite still on the crowded pavement, unable, really unable, to buy a paper. But his face was like a piece of iron when he did step forward and hold his penny out. There it was in the Stop Press! “Glove Lane Murder. The jury returned a verdict of Guilty. Sentence of death was passed.”

Exiting the Law Courts on the afternoon of January 28th, after a hard-fought will case, Keith noticed a poster that read: “Glove Lane Murder: Trial and Verdict”; and with a sudden wave of dread, he thought: 'Oh no! I didn't check the news this morning!' The joy he had just felt, the focus he had maintained for the past two days on the case he had so narrowly won, suddenly felt overwhelmingly insignificant. How could he have let himself forget about that awful situation, even for a moment? He stood frozen on the busy sidewalk, genuinely unable to buy a newspaper. But his expression was as hard as steel when he finally stepped forward and held out his penny. There it was in the Stop Press! “Glove Lane Murder. The jury found the defendant Guilty. The death penalty was imposed.”

His first sensation was simple irritation. How had they come to commit such an imbecility? Monstrous! The evidence—! Then the futility of even reading the report, of even considering how they had come to record such a verdict struck him with savage suddenness. There it was, and nothing he could do or say would alter it; no condemnation of this idiotic verdict would help reverse it. The situation was desperate, indeed! That five minutes' walk from the Law Courts to his chambers was the longest he had ever taken.

His first feeling was just irritation. How could they have made such a stupid mistake? Ridiculous! The evidence—! Then the pointlessness of even reading the report or thinking about how they had reached such a decision hit him with a fierce intensity. There it was, and nothing he could do or say would change it; no criticism of this ridiculous verdict would help overturn it. The situation was truly hopeless! That five-minute walk from the Law Courts to his office felt like the longest he had ever taken.

Men of decided character little know beforehand what they will do in certain contingencies. For the imaginations of decided people do not endow mere contingencies with sufficient actuality. Keith had never really settled what he was going to do if this man were condemned. Often in those past weeks he had said to himself: “Of course, if they bring him in guilty, that's another thing!” But, now that they had, he was beset by exactly the same old arguments and feelings, the same instincts of loyalty and protection towards Laurence and himself, intensified by the fearful imminence of the danger. And yet, here was this man about to be hung for a thing he had not done! Nothing could get over that! But then he was such a worthless vagabond, a ghoul who had robbed a dead body. If Larry were condemned in his stead, would there be any less miscarriage of justice? To strangle a brute who had struck you, by the accident of keeping your hands on his throat a few seconds too long, was there any more guilt in that—was there even as much, as in deliberate theft from a dead man? Reverence for order, for justice, and established fact, will, often march shoulder to shoulder with Jesuitry in natures to whom success is vital.

Men with strong character often don't really know in advance how they'll react in certain situations. That's because their imaginations don't give enough reality to mere possibilities. Keith had never fully figured out what he would do if this man was found guilty. Many times in the past weeks, he had told himself, "If they find him guilty, that's a different story!" But now that it had happened, he was caught up in the same old arguments and feelings, the same instincts of loyalty and protection towards Laurence and himself, made even stronger by the intense danger looming over them. And yet, this man was about to be hanged for something he didn't do! Nothing could change that fact! But then, he was such a worthless drifter, a ghoul who had robbed a corpse. If Larry were sentenced instead, would that change the injustice of it? Killing a scumbag who attacked you simply by holding him down a few seconds too long—was that any worse, or even as bad, as deliberately stealing from a dead person? A respect for order, justice, and established facts often goes hand in hand with cunning in those whose success is crucial.

In the narrow stone passage leading to his staircase, a friend had called out: “Bravo, Darrant! That was a squeak! Congratulations!” And with a bitter little smile Keith thought: 'Congratulations! I!'

In the narrow stone passageway leading to his staircase, a friend had shouted out: “Awesome, Darrant! That was a squeak! Congrats!” And with a bitter little smile, Keith thought: 'Congrats! Me!'

At the first possible moment the hurried back to the Strand, and hailing a cab, he told the man to put him down at a turning near to Borrow Street.

At the first chance he got, he rushed back to the Strand, and after hailing a cab, he told the driver to drop him off at a turn close to Borrow Street.

It was the girl who opened to his knock. Startled, clasping her hands, she looked strange to Keith in her black skirt and blouse of some soft velvety stuff the colour of faded roses. Her round, rather long throat was bare; and Keith noticed fretfully that she wore gold earrings. Her eyes, so pitch dark against her white face, and the short fair hair, which curled into her neck, seemed both to search and to plead.

It was the girl who answered his knock. Startled, with her hands clasped, she looked unusual to Keith in her black skirt and blouse made of some soft, velvety fabric the color of faded roses. Her round, somewhat long neck was bare; and Keith noticed with annoyance that she wore gold earrings. Her eyes, dark as pitch against her pale face, and her short fair hair, which curled into her neck, seemed to both search and plead.

“My brother?”

"My bro?"

“He is not in, sir, yet.”

"He's not in yet, sir."

“Do you know where he is?”

“Do you know where he is?”

“No.”

“No.”

“He is living with you here now?”

“He's living with you here now?”

“Yes.”

"Yep."

“Are you still as fond of him as ever, then?”

“Are you still as crazy about him as you used to be?”

With a movement, as though she despaired of words, she clasped her hands over her heart. And he said:

With a gesture, as if she had given up on words, she placed her hands over her heart. And he said:

“I see.”

"Got it."

He had the same strange feeling as on his first visit to her, and when through the chink in the curtains he had watched her kneeling—of pity mingled with some faint sexual emotion. And crossing to the fire he asked:

He felt that same strange sensation he had on his first visit to her, and when he watched her kneeling through the gap in the curtains, it was a mix of pity and some faint sexual attraction. As he walked over to the fire, he asked:

“May I wait for him?”

“Can I wait for him?”

“Oh! Please! Will you sit down?”

“Oh! Please! Can you sit down?”

But Keith shook his head. And with a catch in her breath, she said:

But Keith shook his head. With a catch in her breath, she said:

“You will not take him from me. I should die.”

“You won’t take him away from me. I’d rather die.”

He turned round on her sharply.

He turned to her suddenly.

“I don't want him taken from you. I want to help you keep him. Are you ready to go away, at any time?”

“I don't want him taken away from you. I want to help you keep him. Are you ready to leave at any time?”

“Yes. Oh, yes!”

"Yes! Oh, yes!"

“And he?”

"And him?"

She answered almost in a whisper:

She replied almost in a whisper:

“Yes; but there is that poor man.”

“Yes, but what about that poor guy?”

“That poor man is a graveyard thief; a hyena; a ghoul—not worth consideration.” And the rasp in his own voice surprised him.

"That poor man is a graveyard thief; a hyena; a ghoul—not worth thinking about." And the harshness in his own voice surprised him.

“Ah!” she sighed. “But I am sorry for him. Perhaps he was hungry. I have been hungry—you do things then that you would not. And perhaps he has no one to love; if you have no one to love you can be very bad. I think of him often—in prison.”

“Ah!” she sighed. “But I feel bad for him. Maybe he was hungry. I’ve been hungry—you end up doing things you wouldn’t normally do. And maybe he doesn’t have anyone who loves him; without love, people can act really badly. I think about him often—in prison.”

Between his teeth Keith muttered: “And Laurence?”

Between his teeth, Keith mumbled, “And Laurence?”

“We do never speak of it, we are afraid.”

“We never talk about it; we're afraid.”

“He's not told you, then, about the trial?”

"He's not told you about the trial, then?"

Her eyes dilated.

Her pupils dilated.

“The trial! Oh! He was strange last night. This morning, too, he got up early. Is it-is it over?”

“The trial! Oh! He was acting weird last night. This morning, he got up early too. Is it—is it done?”

“Yes.”

"Yep."

“What has come?”

"What’s happening?"

“Guilty.”

"Guilty."

For a moment Keith thought she was going to faint. She had closed her eyes, and swayed so that he took a step, and put his hands on her arms.

For a moment, Keith thought she was going to pass out. She had closed her eyes and swayed, so he stepped forward and put his hands on her arms.

“Listen!” he said. “Help me; don't let Laurence out of your sight. We must have time. I must see what they intend to do. They can't be going to hang this man. I must have time, I tell you. You must prevent his giving himself up.”

“Listen!” he said. “Help me; don’t take your eyes off Laurence. We need time. I have to figure out their plan. They can't be serious about hanging this guy. I need time, I’m telling you. You have to stop him from turning himself in.”

She stood, staring in his face, while he still held her arms, gripping into her soft flesh through the velvety sleeves.

She stood, staring into his face, while he still held her arms, gripping into her soft skin through the velvety sleeves.

“Do you understand?”

"Do you get it?"

“Yes-but if he has already!”

“Yes, but what if he has already!”

Keith felt the shiver which ran through her. And the thought rushed into his mind: 'My God! Suppose the police come round while I'm here!' If Larry had indeed gone to them! If that Policeman who had seen him here the night after the murder should find him here again just after the verdict! He said almost fiercely:

Keith felt a shiver run through her. And the thought suddenly hit him: 'Oh no! What if the police show up while I’m here?' What if Larry really did go to them? What if that cop who saw him here the night after the murder finds him here again right after the verdict? He said almost angrily:

“Can I trust you not to let Larry out of your sight? Quick! Answer!”

“Can I trust you not to take your eyes off Larry? Hurry! Answer me!”

Clasping her hands to her breast, she answered humbly:

Clutching her hands to her chest, she responded humbly:

“I will try.”

"I'll give it a shot."

“If he hasn't already done this, watch him like a lynx! Don't let him go out without you. I'll come to-morrow morning early. You're a Catholic, aren't you? Swear to me that you won't let him do anything till he's seen me again.”

“If he hasn’t done this yet, keep a close eye on him! Don’t let him out without you. I’ll come tomorrow morning early. You’re a Catholic, right? Promise me that you won’t let him do anything until he’s seen me again.”

She did not answer, looking past him at the door; and Keith heard a key in the latch. There was Laurence himself, holding in his hand a great bunch of pink lilies and white narcissi. His face was pale and haggard. He said quietly:

She didn't respond, glancing past him at the door; and Keith heard a key in the latch. There was Laurence himself, holding a large bunch of pink lilies and white daffodils. His face looked pale and worn. He said quietly:

“Hallo, Keith!”

"Hey, Keith!"

The girl's eyes were fastened on Larry's face; and Keith, looking from one to the other, knew that he had never had more need for wariness.

The girl's eyes were fixed on Larry's face, and Keith, glancing between the two, realized that he had never needed to be more cautious.

“Have you seen?” he said.

"Have you seen?" he asked.

Laurence nodded. His expression, as a rule so tell-tale of his emotions, baffled Keith utterly.

Laurence nodded. His expression, usually so revealing of his emotions, completely confused Keith.

“Well?”

"What's up?"

“I've been expecting it.”

"I've been waiting for this."

“The thing can't stand—that's certain. But I must have time to look into the report. I must have time to see what I can do. D'you understand me, Larry—I must have time.” He knew he was talking at random. The only thing was to get them away at once out of reach of confession; but he dared not say so.

“The situation can’t hold up—that’s for sure. But I need time to review the report. I need time to figure out what I can do. Do you get what I’m saying, Larry—I need time.” He knew he was speaking without focus. The only option was to get them out of reach of confession immediately; but he didn’t dare say it.

“Promise me that you'll do nothing, that you won't go out even till I've seen you to-morrow morning.”

“Promise me that you won’t do anything, that you won’t go out until I’ve seen you tomorrow morning.”

Again Laurence nodded. And Keith looked at the girl. Would she see that he did not break that promise? Her eyes were still fixed immovably on Larry's face. And with the feeling that he could get no further, Keith turned to go.

Again, Laurence nodded. And Keith looked at the girl. Would she realize that he didn’t break that promise? Her eyes were still locked on Larry's face. Feeling like he couldn’t go any further, Keith turned to leave.

“Promise me,” he said.

"Promise me," he said.

Laurence answered: “I promise.”

Laurence replied, “I promise.”

He was smiling. Keith could make nothing of that smile, nor of the expression in the girl's eyes. And saying: “I have your promise, I rely on it!” he went.

He was smiling. Keith couldn't figure out that smile, nor the look in the girl's eyes. And saying, “I have your promise, I’m counting on it!” he left.





IX

To keep from any woman who loves, knowledge of her lover's mood, is as hard as to keep music from moving the heart. But when that woman has lived in suffering, and for the first time knows the comfort of love, then let the lover try as he may to disguise his heart—no use! Yet by virtue of subtler abnegation she will often succeed in keeping it from him that she knows.

To hide from a woman who loves what her partner is feeling is as difficult as stopping music from touching the heart. But when that woman has experienced pain and finally feels the warmth of love, no matter how much her partner tries to hide his feelings—it's pointless! Still, through a deeper selflessness, she often manages to keep it a secret that she understands.

When Keith was gone the girl made no outcry, asked no questions, managed that Larry should not suspect her intuition; all that evening she acted as if she knew of nothing preparing within him, and through him, within herself.

When Keith left, the girl didn’t say a word, didn’t ask any questions, and made sure Larry didn’t catch on to her instincts; all evening she pretended like she was unaware of what was brewing inside him, and through him, inside herself.

His words, caresses, the very zest with which he helped her to prepare the feast, the flowers he had brought, the wine he made her drink, the avoidance of any word which could spoil their happiness, all—all told her. He was too inexorably gay and loving. Not for her—to whom every word and every kiss had uncannily the desperate value of a last word and kiss—not for her to deprive herself of these by any sign or gesture which might betray her prescience. Poor soul—she took all, and would have taken more, a hundredfold. She did not want to drink the wine he kept tilting into her glass, but, with the acceptance learned by women who have lived her life, she did not refuse. She had never refused him anything. So much had been required of her by the detestable, that anything required by a loved one was but an honour.

His words, touches, and the enthusiasm with which he helped her prepare the feast, the flowers he brought, the wine he made her drink, and the deliberate avoidance of any word that could ruin their happiness—all of it—told her. He was way too joyfully affectionate. Not for her—who felt that every word and every kiss carried the desperate weight of a final goodbye—would she deprive herself of these by showing any sign or gesture that might reveal her awareness. Poor thing—she accepted everything and would have accepted much more, a hundred times over. She didn’t want to drink the wine he kept pouring into her glass, but, with the acceptance learned by women who have lived her life, she didn’t refuse. She had never refused him anything. So much had been demanded of her by the detestable, that anything asked by someone she loved felt like an honor.

Laurence drank deeply; but he had never felt clearer, never seen things more clearly. The wine gave him what he wanted, an edge to these few hours of pleasure, an exaltation of energy. It dulled his sense of pity, too. It was pity he was afraid of—for himself, and for this girl. To make even this tawdry room look beautiful, with firelight and candlelight, dark amber wine in the glasses, tall pink lilies spilling their saffron, exuding their hot perfume he and even himself must look their best. And with a weight as of lead on her heart, she managed that for him, letting him strew her with flowers and crush them together with herself. Not even music was lacking to their feast. Someone was playing a pianola across the street, and the sound, very faint, came stealing when they were silent—swelling, sinking, festive, mournful; having a far-off life of its own, like the flickering fire-flames before which they lay embraced, or the lilies delicate between the candles. Listening to that music, tracing with his finger the tiny veins on her breast, he lay like one recovering from a swoon. No parting. None! But sleep, as the firelight sleeps when flames die; as music sleeps on its deserted strings.

Laurence drank deeply, but he’d never felt clearer, never seen things more clearly. The wine gave him what he wanted—a boost to these few hours of pleasure, an uplift of energy. It numbed his sense of pity too. It was pity he was afraid of—for himself and for this girl. To make even this shabby room look beautiful, with firelight and candlelight, dark amber wine in the glasses, tall pink lilies spilling their saffron, giving off their intense fragrance, he and she needed to look their best. With a heavy weight on her heart, she managed that for him, letting him shower her with flowers and crush them together with herself. Not even music was missing from their feast. Someone was playing a pianola across the street, and the faint sound washed over them in silence—swelling, fading, festive, mournful; it had a distant life of its own, like the flickering flames of the fire they lay embraced before, or the delicate lilies between the candles. Listening to that music, tracing the tiny veins on her breast with his finger, he lay like someone coming out of a faint. No parting. None! Just sleep, like the firelight sleeps when the flames die; like music sleeps on its abandoned strings.

And the girl watched him.

And the girl watched him.

It was nearly ten when he bade her go to bed. And after she had gone obedient into the bedroom, he brought ink and paper down by the fire. The drifter, the unstable, the good-for-nothing—did not falter. He had thought, when it came to the point, he would fail himself; but a sort of rage bore him forward. If he lived on, and confessed, they would shut him up, take from him the one thing he loved, cut him off from her; sand up his only well in the desert. Curse them! And he wrote by firelight which mellowed the white sheets of paper; while, against the dark curtain, the girl, in her nightgown, unconscious of the cold, stood watching.

It was almost ten when he told her to go to bed. After she obediently walked into the bedroom, he brought ink and paper down by the fire. The drifter, the unstable one, the good-for-nothing—didn't hesitate. He had thought that when the moment came, he would let himself down; but a kind of rage pushed him forward. If he continued and confessed, they would lock him away, take away the one thing he loved, cut him off from her; dry up his only source of water in the desert. Damn them! And he wrote by the firelight, which softened the white sheets of paper; while, against the dark curtain, the girl, in her nightgown, unaware of the cold, stood watching.

Men, when they drown, remember their pasts. Like the lost poet he had “gone with the wind.” Now it was for him to be true in his fashion. A man may falter for weeks and weeks, consciously, subconsciously, even in his dreams, till there comes that moment when the only thing impossible is to go on faltering. The black cap, the little driven grey man looking up at it with a sort of wonder—faltering had ceased!

Men, when they drown, remember their pasts. Like the lost poet, he had "gone with the wind." Now it was time for him to be true in his own way. A man can stumble for weeks, both consciously and subconsciously, even in his dreams, until that moment comes when the only thing he can't do is keep stumbling. The black cap, the little driven grey man looking up at it with a sense of wonder—stumbling had stopped!

He had finished now, and was but staring into the fire.

He was done now and just staring at the fire.

         “No more, no more, the moon is dead,
          And all the people in it;
          The poppy maidens strew the bed,
          We'll come in half a minute.”
 
         “No more, no more, the moon is gone,
          And everyone in it;
          The poppy girls spread the bed,
          We’ll be there in a minute.”

Why did doggerel start up in the mind like that? Wanda! The weed-flower become so rare he would not be parted from her! The fire, the candles, and the fire—no more the flame and flicker!

Why did random thoughts pop up in my mind like that? Wanda! The wildflower has become so rare that I can’t be away from her! The fire, the candles, and the flames—no more the glow and flicker!

And, by the dark curtain, the girl watched.

And, through the dark curtain, the girl watched.





X

Keith went, not home, but to his club; and in the room devoted to the reception of guests, empty at this hour, he sat down and read the report of the trial. The fools had made out a case that looked black enough. And for a long time, on the thick soft carpet which let out no sound of footfall, he paced up and down, thinking. He might see the defending counsel, might surely do that as an expert who thought there had been miscarriage of justice. They must appeal; a petition too might be started in the last event. The thing could—must be put right yet, if only Larry and that girl did nothing!

Keith went not home, but to his club; and in the guest reception room, empty at this hour, he sat down and read the trial report. The idiots had built a case that looked pretty bad. For a long time, on the thick, soft carpet that muffled his footsteps, he paced back and forth, deep in thought. He could talk to the defending lawyer; surely he could do that as someone who believed there had been a miscarriage of justice. They needed to appeal; a petition could also be started as a last resort. This situation could—must be resolved if Larry and that girl stayed out of trouble!

He had no appetite, but the custom of dining is too strong. And while he ate, he glanced with irritation at his fellow-members. They looked so at their ease. Unjust—that this black cloud should hang over one blameless as any of them! Friends, connoisseurs of such things—a judge among them—came specially to his table to express their admiration of his conduct of that will case. Tonight he had real excuse for pride, but he felt none. Yet, in this well-warmed quietly glowing room, filled with decorously eating, decorously talking men, he gained insensibly some comfort. This surely was reality; that shadowy business out there only the drear sound of a wind one must and did keep out—like the poverty and grime which had no real existence for the secure and prosperous. He drank champagne. It helped to fortify reality, to make shadows seem more shadowy. And down in the smoking-room he sat before the fire, in one of those chairs which embalm after-dinner dreams. He grew sleepy there, and at eleven o'clock rose to go home. But when he had once passed down the shallow marble steps, out through the revolving door which let in no draughts, he was visited by fear, as if he had drawn it in with the breath of the January wind. Larry's face; and the girl watching it! Why had she watched like that? Larry's smile; and the flowers in his hand? Buying flowers at such a moment! The girl was his slave-whatever he told her, she would do. But she would never be able to stop him. At this very moment he might be rushing to give himself up!

He had no appetite, but the habit of dining was too ingrained. As he ate, he glanced irritably at his fellow members. They looked so relaxed. It felt unfair that this dark cloud should hang over someone as innocent as any of them! Friends, experts in their fields—a judge among them—came specifically to his table to praise how he handled that will case. Tonight he had every reason to feel proud, but he didn’t feel it. Still, in this warm, softly lit room filled with men eating and talking politely, he found some comfort without realizing it. This was surely reality; the shadowy business outside was just the dreary sound of wind that one must and did keep out—like the poverty and dirt that had no real presence for the secure and prosperous. He drank champagne. It helped reinforce reality, making the shadows seem even more shadowy. And in the smoking room, he sat by the fire in one of those chairs that cradle after-dinner dreams. He started to feel drowsy, and at eleven o'clock, he stood up to go home. But once he had walked down the shallow marble steps and out through the revolving door that kept out drafts, he was suddenly hit with fear, as if he had inhaled it with the January wind. Larry’s face; and the girl watching him! Why had she looked at him like that? Larry’s smile; and the flowers in his hand? Buying flowers at a moment like this! The girl was his slave—whatever he told her, she would do. But she would never be able to stop him. Right at this moment, he could be rushing to turn himself in!

His hand, thrust deep into the pocket of his fur coat, came in contact suddenly with something cold. The keys Larry had given him all that time ago. There they had lain forgotten ever since. The chance touch decided him. He turned off towards Borrow Street, walking at full speed. He could but go again and see. He would sleep better if he knew that he had left no stone unturned. At the corner of that dismal street he had to wait for solitude before he made for the house which he now loathed with a deadly loathing. He opened the outer door and shut it to behind him. He knocked, but no one came. Perhaps they had gone to bed. Again and again he knocked, then opened the door, stepped in, and closed it carefully. Candles lighted, the fire burning; cushions thrown on the floor in front of it and strewn with flowers! The table, too, covered with flowers and with the remnants of a meal. Through the half-drawn curtain he could see that the inner room was also lighted. Had they gone out, leaving everything like this? Gone out! His heart beat. Bottles! Larry had been drinking!

His hand, deep in the pocket of his fur coat, suddenly brushed against something cold. The keys Larry had given him ages ago. They had been forgotten until now. The unexpected touch made up his mind. He turned toward Borrow Street, walking quickly. He had to go back and check. He wouldn’t be able to sleep well knowing he hadn’t done everything he could. At the corner of that grim street, he waited for some peace before heading to the house he now hated with a fierce passion. He opened the front door and closed it behind him. He knocked, but no one answered. Maybe they had gone to bed. He kept knocking, then opened the door, stepped inside, and shut it carefully. Candles were lit, the fire was going; cushions were thrown on the floor in front of it, covered in flowers! The table was also full of flowers and remnants of a meal. Through the half-drawn curtain, he could see that the inner room was also lit. Had they gone out, leaving everything like this? Gone out! His heart raced. Bottles! Larry had been drinking!

Had it really come? Must he go back home with this murk on him; knowing that his brother was a confessed and branded murderer? He went quickly, to the half-drawn curtains and looked in. Against the wall he saw a bed, and those two in it. He recoiled in sheer amazement and relief. Asleep with curtains undrawn, lights left on? Asleep through all his knocking! They must both be drunk. The blood rushed up in his neck. Asleep! And rushing forward again, he called out: “Larry!” Then, with a gasp he went towards the bed. “Larry!” No answer! No movement! Seizing his brother's shoulder, he shook it violently. It felt cold. They were lying in each other's arms, breast to breast, lips to lips, their faces white in the light shining above the dressing-table. And such a shudder shook Keith that he had to grasp the brass rail above their heads. Then he bent down, and wetting his finger, placed it close to their joined lips. No two could ever swoon so utterly as that; not even a drunken sleep could be so fast. His wet finger felt not the faintest stir of air, nor was there any movement in the pulses of their hands. No breath! No life! The eyes of the girl were closed. How strangely innocent she looked! Larry's open eyes seemed to be gazing at her shut eyes; but Keith saw that they were sightless. With a sort of sob he drew down the lids. Then, by an impulse that he could never have explained, he laid a hand on his brother's head, and a hand on the girl's fair hair. The clothes had fallen down a little from her bare shoulder; he pulled them up, as if to keep her warm, and caught the glint of metal; a tiny gilt crucifix no longer than a thumbnail, on a thread of steel chain, had slipped down from her breast into the hollow of the arm which lay round Larry's neck. Keith buried it beneath the clothes and noticed an envelope pinned to the coverlet; bending down, he read: “Please give this at once to the police.—LAURENCE DARRANT.” He thrust it into his pocket. Like elastic stretched beyond its uttermost, his reason, will, faculties of calculation and resolve snapped to within him. He thought with incredible swiftness: 'I must know nothing of this. I must go!' And, almost before he knew that he had moved, he was out again in the street.

Had it really happened? Did he really have to go home with this darkness following him, knowing that his brother was a confessed and branded murderer? He rushed to the half-drawn curtains and looked in. Against the wall, he saw a bed, and those two in it. He recoiled in sheer amazement and relief. Asleep with the curtains undrawn and the lights left on? Asleep through all his knocking! They must both be drunk. Blood rushed to his face. Asleep! He rushed forward again and called out, “Larry!” Then, gasping, he went toward the bed. “Larry!” No answer! No movement! Grabbing his brother's shoulder, he shook it violently. It felt cold. They were lying in each other's arms, chest to chest, lips to lips, their faces pale in the light shining above the dresser. A shudder ran through Keith, and he had to grasp the brass rail above their heads. Then he bent down, wet his finger, and placed it close to their joined lips. No two people could ever be so completely unconscious; not even a drunken sleep could be so profound. His wet finger felt no movement of air, nor was there any pulse in their hands. No breath! No life! The girl's eyes were closed. How strangely innocent she looked! Larry's open eyes seemed to be gazing at her closed eyes, but Keith could see they were sightless. With a sort of sob, he lowered her eyelids. Then, driven by an impulse he could never explain, he placed one hand on his brother's head and another on the girl's fair hair. The clothes had slipped a bit from her bare shoulder; he pulled them up, as if to keep her warm, and caught a glint of metal; a tiny gilt crucifix no longer than a thumbnail, on a thread of steel chain, had slipped down from her breast into the hollow of the arm wrapped around Larry's neck. Keith tucked it back under the clothes and noticed an envelope pinned to the blanket; bending down, he read: “Please give this at once to the police.—LAURENCE DARRANT.” He shoved it into his pocket. Like elastic stretched beyond its limit, his reason, will, and ability to think clearly snapped back. He thought with incredible speed: 'I must know nothing about this. I must go!' And almost before he realized he had moved, he was back out in the street.

He could never have told of what he thought while he was walking home. He did not really come to himself till he was in his study. There, with a trembling hand, he poured himself out whisky and drank it off. If he had not chanced to go there, the charwoman would have found them when she came in the morning, and given that envelope to the police! He took it out. He had a right—a right to know what was in it! He broke it open.

He could never explain what he was thinking while walking home. He didn’t really regain his composure until he was in his study. There, with a shaky hand, he poured himself some whisky and downed it. If he hadn’t happened to go there, the cleaning lady would have discovered it when she arrived in the morning and handed that envelope to the police! He took it out. He had a right—a right to know what was inside! He tore it open.

“I, Laurence Darrant, about to die by my own hand, declare that this is a solemn and true confession. I committed what is known as the Glove Lane Murder on the night of November the 27th last in the following way”—on and on to the last words—“We didn't want to die; but we could not bear separation, and I couldn't face letting an innocent man be hung for me. I do not see any other way. I beg that there may be no postmortem on our bodies. The stuff we have taken is some of that which will be found on the dressing-table. Please bury us together.

“I, Laurence Darrant, about to take my own life, declare that this is a serious and true confession. I committed what is known as the Glove Lane Murder on the night of November 27th last in the following way”—on and on to the last words—“We didn't want to die; but we couldn't handle being apart, and I couldn't bear the thought of an innocent man being hanged for me. I don't see any other way. I ask that there be no autopsy on our bodies. The stuff we have taken is some of what you'll find on the dressing table. Please bury us together.

“LAURENCE DARRANT.

LAURENCE DARRANT.

“January the 28th, about ten o'clock p.m.”

"January 28, at 10 p.m."

Full five minutes Keith stood with those sheets of paper in his hand, while the clock ticked, the wind moaned a little in the trees outside, the flames licked the logs with the quiet click and ruffle of their intense far-away life down there on the hearth. Then he roused himself, and sat down to read the whole again.

Full five minutes, Keith stood with those sheets of paper in his hand, while the clock ticked, the wind softly rustled the trees outside, and the flames flickered against the logs with the quiet popping and crackling of their distant, vibrant life down there on the hearth. Then he shook himself out of it and sat down to read the whole thing again.

There it was, just as Larry had told it to him-nothing left out, very clear; even to the addresses of people who could identify the girl as having once been Walenn's wife or mistress. It would convince. Yes! It would convince.

There it was, just as Larry had described it to him—everything included, very clear; even the addresses of people who could identify the girl as having once been Walenn's wife or mistress. It would convince. Yes! It would convince.

The sheets dropped from his hand. Very slowly he was grasping the appalling fact that on the floor beside his chair lay the life or death of yet another man; that by taking this confession he had taken into his own hands the fate of the vagabond lying under sentence of death; that he could not give him back his life without incurring the smirch of this disgrace, without even endangering himself. If he let this confession reach the authorities, he could never escape the gravest suspicion that he had known of the whole affair during these two months. He would have to attend the inquest, be recognised by that policeman as having come to the archway to see where the body had lain, as having visited the girl the very evening after the murder. Who would believe in the mere coincidence of such visits on the part of the murderer's brother. But apart from that suspicion, the fearful scandal which so sensational an affair must make would mar his career, his life, his young daughter's life! Larry's suicide with this girl would make sensation enough as it was; but nothing to that other. Such a death had its romance; involved him in no way save as a mourner, could perhaps even be hushed up! The other—nothing could hush that up, nothing prevent its ringing to the house-tops. He got up from his chair, and for many minutes roamed the room unable to get his mind to bear on the issue. Images kept starting up before him. The face of the man who handed him wig and gown each morning, puffy and curious, with a leer on it he had never noticed before; his young daughter's lifted eyebrows, mouth drooping, eyes troubled; the tiny gilt crucifix glinting in the hollow of the dead girl's arm; the sightless look in Larry's unclosed eyes; even his own thumb and finger pulling the lids down. And then he saw a street and endless people passing, turning to stare at him. And, stopping in his tramp, he said aloud: “Let them go to hell! Seven days' wonder!” Was he not trustee to that confession! Trustee! After all he had done nothing to be ashamed of, even if he had kept knowledge dark. A brother! Who could blame him? And he picked up those sheets of paper. But, like a great murky hand, the scandal spread itself about him; its coarse malignant voice seemed shouting: “Paiper!... Paiper!... Glove Lane Murder!... Suicide and confession of brother of well-known K.C..... Well-known K.C.'. brother.... Murder and suicide.... Paiper!” Was he to let loose that flood of foulness? Was he, who had done nothing, to smirch his own little daughter's life; to smirch his dead brother, their dead mother—himself, his own valuable, important future? And all for a sewer rat! Let him hang, let the fellow hang if he must! And that was not certain. Appeal! Petition! He might—he should be saved! To have got thus far, and then, by his own action, topple himself down!

The sheets fell from his hand. Gradually, he was coming to understand the shocking reality that the life or death of yet another man lay on the floor beside his chair; that by accepting this confession, he had taken control over the fate of the vagabond sentenced to death; that he couldn’t restore his life without risking this disgrace, without endangering himself. If he allowed this confession to reach the authorities, he could never escape the deepest suspicion that he had known about the entire situation for these two months. He would have to attend the inquest, be recognized by that policeman as someone who had come to the archway to see where the body had been, as someone who had visited the girl the very evening after the murder. Who would believe it was just a coincidence that the murderer’s brother made such visits? But aside from that suspicion, the scandal that such a sensational event would create would ruin his career, his life, and his young daughter’s life! Larry’s suicide with this girl would already cause enough sensation, but it would be nothing compared to the other. That kind of death had its romance; it didn’t involve him beyond being a mourner and could perhaps even be kept quiet! The other—nothing could keep that quiet, nothing could stop it from spreading far and wide. He got up from his chair and spent several minutes pacing the room, unable to focus on the problem. Images kept flashing in front of him. The face of the man who handed him his wig and gown each morning, puffy and curious, with a leer he had never noticed before; his young daughter’s raised eyebrows, drooping mouth, troubled eyes; the tiny gilt crucifix glinting in the hollow of the dead girl’s arm; the vacant look in Larry’s unclosed eyes; even his own thumb and finger pulling down the lids. And then he imagined a street filled with people passing by, turning to stare at him. Stopping in his tracks, he said out loud: “Let them go to hell! Seven days' wonder!” Was he not a trustee of that confession? Trustee! After all, he had done nothing to be ashamed of, even if he had kept the knowledge to himself. A brother! Who could blame him? And he picked up those sheets of paper. But, like a dark, murky hand, the scandal spread around him; its coarse, malignant voice seemed to shout: “Paper!... Paper!... Glove Lane Murder!... Suicide and confession of the brother of a well-known K.C..... Well-known K.C.'s brother.... Murder and suicide.... Paper!” Was he going to unleash that flood of filth? Was he, who had done nothing wrong, going to tarnish his own little daughter’s life; tarnish his dead brother, their dead mother—himself, his own valuable and important future? And all for a sewer rat! Let him hang, let the guy hang if he must! And that wasn’t even certain. Appeal! Petition! He might—he should be saved! To have come this far, then topple himself down by his own actions!

With a sudden darting movement he thrust the confession in among the burning coals. And a smile licked at the folds in his dark face, like those flames licking the sheets of paper, till they writhed and blackened. With the toe of his boot he dispersed their scorched and crumbling wafer. Stamp them in! Stamp in that man's life! Burnt! No more doubts, no more of this gnawing fear! Burnt? A man—an innocent-sewer rat! Recoiling from the fire he grasped his forehead. It was burning hot and seemed to be going round.

With a quick movement, he tossed the confession into the burning coals. A smile flickered across his dark face, like the flames flickering around the sheets of paper, twisting and turning as they turned black. With the tip of his boot, he scattered the charred and crumbling remains. Crush them down! Crush that man's life! Burned! No more doubts, no more gnawing fear! Burned? A man—an innocent sewer rat! Pulling away from the fire, he grabbed his forehead. It felt burning hot and was spinning.

Well, it was done! Only fools without will or purpose regretted. And suddenly he laughed. So Larry had died for nothing! He had no will, no purpose, and was dead! He and that girl might now have been living, loving each other in the warm night, away at the other end of the world, instead of lying dead in the cold night here! Fools and weaklings regretted, suffered from conscience and remorse. A man trod firmly, held to his purpose, no matter what!

Well, it was done! Only those without will or purpose regretted. And then he laughed. So Larry had died for nothing! He had no will, no purpose, and was dead! He and that girl could have been living, loving each other on a warm night far away instead of lying dead in the cold night here! Fools and weaklings regretted, suffering from guilt and remorse. A man stood strong, stuck to his purpose, no matter what!

He went to the window and drew back the curtain. What was that? A gibbet in the air, a body hanging? Ah! Only the trees—the dark trees—the winter skeleton trees! Recoiling, he returned to his armchair and sat down before the fire. It had been shining like that, the lamp turned low, his chair drawn up, when Larry came in that afternoon two months ago. Bah! He had never come at all! It was a nightmare. He had been asleep. How his head burned! And leaping up, he looked at the calendar on his bureau. “January the 28th!” No dream! His face hardened and darkened. On! Not like Larry! On! 1914.

He went to the window and pulled back the curtain. What was that? A gallows in the air, a body hanging? Ah! Just the trees—the dark trees—the bare winter trees! Startled, he went back to his armchair and sat down in front of the fire. It had been glowing like that, the lamp dimmed, his chair pulled close, when Larry came in that afternoon two months ago. Ugh! He never came at all! It was a nightmare. He had been sleeping. How his head ached! And jumping up, he glanced at the calendar on his dresser. “January 28th!” Not a dream! His face stiffened and darkened. On! Not like Larry! On! 1914.





A STOIC

I

1

1

         “Aequam memento rebus in arduis
          Servare mentem:”—Horace.
         “Remember to keep a balanced mind in difficult times:”—Horace.

In the City of Liverpool, on a January day of 1905, the Board-room of “The Island Navigation Company” rested, as it were, after the labours of the afternoon. The long table was still littered with the ink, pens, blotting-paper, and abandoned documents of six persons—a deserted battlefield of the brain. And, lonely, in his chairman's seat at the top end old Sylvanus Heythorp sat, with closed eyes, still and heavy as an image. One puffy, feeble hand, whose fingers quivered, rested on the arm of his chair; the thick white hair on his massive head glistened in the light from a green-shaded lamp. He was not asleep, for every now and then his sanguine cheeks filled, and a sound, half sigh, half grunt, escaped his thick lips between a white moustache and the tiny tuft of white hairs above his cleft chin. Sunk in the chair, that square thick trunk of a body in short black-braided coat seemed divested of all neck.

In the City of Liverpool, on a January day in 1905, the boardroom of “The Island Navigation Company” was quiet, almost as if it were recovering from the afternoon's activities. The long table was still cluttered with ink, pens, blotting paper, and abandoned documents belonging to six people—a deserted battlefield of ideas. And, sitting alone in his chairman's seat at the head of the table, old Sylvanus Heythorp sat with his eyes closed, still and heavy like a statue. One puffy, weak hand, with fingers that trembled, rested on the arm of his chair; the thick white hair on his large head shimmered in the light of a green-shaded lamp. He wasn’t asleep; now and then, his rosy cheeks would puff up, and a sound, part sigh, part grunt, would escape his thick lips, situated between a white mustache and a small tuft of white hair above his cleft chin. Sunk deep in the chair, his square, stout body in a short black-braided coat seemed to have no neck at all.

Young Gilbert Farney, secretary of “The Island Navigation Company,” entering his hushed Board-room, stepped briskly to the table, gathered some papers, and stood looking at his chairman. Not more than thirty-five, with the bright hues of the optimist in his hair, beard, cheeks, and eyes, he had a nose and lips which curled ironically. For, in his view, he was the Company; and its Board did but exist to chequer his importance. Five days in the week for seven hours a day he wrote, and thought, and wove the threads of its business, and this lot came down once a week for two or three hours, and taught their grandmother to suck eggs. But watching that red-cheeked, white-haired, somnolent figure, his smile was not so contemptuous as might have been expected. For after all, the chairman was a wonderful old boy. A man of go and insight could not but respect him. Eighty! Half paralysed, over head and ears in debt, having gone the pace all his life—or so they said!—till at last that mine in Ecuador had done for him—before the secretary's day, of course, but he had heard of it. The old chap had bought it up on spec'—“de l'audace, toujours de l'audace,” as he was so fond of saying—paid for it half in cash and half in promises, and then—the thing had turned out empty, and left him with L20,000 worth of the old shares unredeemed. The old boy had weathered it out without a bankruptcy so far. Indomitable old buffer; and never fussy like the rest of them! Young Farney, though a secretary, was capable of attachment; and his eyes expressed a pitying affection. The Board meeting had been long and “snadgy”—a final settling of that Pillin business. Rum go the chairman forcing it on them like this! And with quiet satisfaction the secretary thought 'And he never would have got it through if I hadn't made up my mind that it really is good business!' For to expand the company was to expand himself. Still, to buy four ships with the freight market so depressed was a bit startling, and there would be opposition at the general meeting. Never mind! He and the chairman could put it through—put it through. And suddenly he saw the old man looking at him.

Young Gilbert Farney, secretary of “The Island Navigation Company,” entered his quiet Boardroom, walked briskly to the table, grabbed some papers, and faced his chairman. Not more than thirty-five, with the bright colors of an optimist in his hair, beard, cheeks, and eyes, he had a nose and lips that curled ironically. In his eyes, he was the Company, and the Board existed just to highlight his importance. Five days a week, for seven hours a day, he wrote, thought, and managed the business, while this group showed up once a week for two or three hours to tell him what he already knew. But watching that red-cheeked, white-haired, sleepy figure, his smile wasn’t as contemptuous as one might expect. After all, the chairman was a remarkable old guy. A man of energy and insight deserved respect. At eighty, half-paralyzed, deep in debt from living large all his life—or so they claimed!—until that mine in Ecuador ruined him—before the secretary’s time, of course, but he’d heard about it. The old guy had bought it on speculation—“audacity, always audacity,” as he loved to say—paid for it partly in cash and partly in promises, and then it turned out to be worthless, leaving him with £20,000 worth of old shares that were never redeemed. The old chap had managed to avoid bankruptcy so far. An indomitable old guy; and he was never as fussy as the rest! Young Farney, though a secretary, could become attached; and his eyes showed a kind, pitying affection. The Board meeting had been long and “snadgy”—a final wrap-up of that Pillin situation. It was odd for the chairman to push it on them like this! With quiet satisfaction, the secretary thought, 'And he never would have gotten it through if I hadn’t decided it really is good business!' Because expanding the company meant expanding himself. Still, buying four ships with the freight market so down was a bit shocking, and there would be pushback at the general meeting. But it didn’t matter! He and the chairman could make it happen—get it done. And suddenly he noticed the old man looking at him.

Only from those eyes could one appreciate the strength of life yet flowing underground in that well-nigh helpless carcase—deep-coloured little blue wells, tiny, jovial, round windows.

Only from those eyes could one see the strength of life still flowing beneath the surface in that almost helpless body—deep-colored little blue wells, tiny, cheerful, round windows.

A sigh travelled up through layers of flesh, and he said almost inaudibly:

A sigh pushed its way through layers of skin, and he said almost quietly:

“Have they come, Mr. Farney?”

"Have they arrived, Mr. Farney?"

“Yes, sir. I've put them in the transfer office; said you'd be with them in a minute; but I wasn't going to wake you.”

“Yes, sir. I put them in the transfer office; I told them you’d be with them in a minute; but I wasn’t going to wake you.”

“Haven't been asleep. Help me up.”

"Can't sleep. Help me up."

Grasping the edge of the table with his trembling hands, the old man pulled, and, with Farney heaving him behind, attained his feet. He stood about five feet ten, and weighed fully fourteen stone; not corpulent, but very thick all through; his round and massive head alone would have outweighed a baby. With eyes shut, he seemed to be trying to get the better of his own weight, then he moved with the slowness of a barnacle towards the door. The secretary, watching him, thought: 'Marvellous old chap! How he gets about by himself is a miracle! And he can't retire, they say-lives on his fees!'

Grasping the edge of the table with his shaking hands, the old man pulled himself up, and with Farney helping him from behind, he managed to get to his feet. He was about five foot ten and weighed around fourteen stone; not overweight, but very solid all over; his large and heavy head alone could have outweighed a baby. With his eyes closed, it looked like he was trying to conquer his own weight, then he moved towards the door as slowly as a barnacle. The secretary, watching him, thought, 'What an incredible old guy! The way he moves on his own is a miracle! And they say he can't retire—he lives off his fees!'

But the chairman was through the green baize door. At his tortoise gait he traversed the inner office, where the youthful clerks suspended their figuring—to grin behind his back—and entered the transfer office, where eight gentlemen were sitting. Seven rose, and one did not. Old Heythorp raised a saluting hand to the level of his chest and moving to an arm-chair, lowered himself into it.

But the chairman was through the green felt door. At his slow, deliberate pace, he walked through the inner office, where the young clerks paused their calculations to smirk behind his back, and entered the transfer office, where eight men were seated. Seven stood up, and one remained seated. Old Heythorp raised a hand in greeting to the level of his chest and moved to an armchair, lowering himself into it.

“Well, gentlemen?”

“Well, guys?”

One of the eight gentlemen got up again.

One of the eight men got up again.

“Mr. Heythorp, we've appointed Mr. Brownbee to voice our views. Mr. Brownbee!” And down he sat.

“Mr. Heythorp, we've chosen Mr. Brownbee to express our opinions. Mr. Brownbee!” And down he sat.

Mr. Brownbee rose a stoutish man some seventy years of age, with little grey side whiskers, and one of those utterly steady faces only to be seen in England, faces which convey the sense of business from father to son for generations; faces which make wars, and passion, and free thought seem equally incredible; faces which inspire confidence, and awaken in one a desire to get up and leave the room. Mr. Brownbee rose, and said in a suave voice:

Mr. Brownbee was a stocky man around seventy years old, with little gray sideburns, and one of those perfectly calm faces you only see in England—faces that communicate a legacy of business that has passed down through generations; faces that make wars, passion, and free thought seem equally unbelievable; faces that inspire confidence and make you want to get up and leave the room. Mr. Brownbee stood up and said in a smooth voice:

“Mr. Heythorp, we here represent about L14,000. When we had the pleasure of meeting you last July, you will recollect that you held out a prospect of some more satisfactory arrangement by Christmas. We are now in January, and I am bound to say we none of us get younger.”

“Mr. Heythorp, we currently represent about £14,000. When we had the pleasure of meeting you last July, you may remember that you suggested there might be a more satisfactory arrangement by Christmas. Now that we are in January, I have to say that none of us are getting any younger.”

From the depths of old Heythorp a preliminary rumble came travelling, reached the surface, and materialised—

From the depths of old Heythorp, a low rumble began to rise, reaching the surface and taking shape—

“Don't know about you—feel a boy, myself.”

“Not sure about you—I feel like a boy, myself.”

The eight gentlemen looked at him. Was he going to try and put them off again? Mr. Brownbee said with unruffled calm:

The eight gentlemen stared at him. Was he going to try to sidetrack them again? Mr. Brownbee said with unshaken composure:

“I'm sure we're very glad to hear it. But to come to the point. We have felt, Mr. Heythorp, and I'm sure you won't think it unreasonable, that—er—bankruptcy would be the most satisfactory solution. We have waited a long time, and we want to know definitely where we stand; for, to be quite frank, we don't see any prospect of improvement; indeed, we fear the opposite.”

“I’m sure we’re all relieved to hear that. But to get straight to the point. We’ve felt, Mr. Heythorp, and I’m sure you won’t find it unreasonable, that—um—bankruptcy would be the most satisfactory solution. We’ve waited a long time, and we want to know exactly where we stand; to be completely honest, we don’t see any chance of improvement; in fact, we’re worried about the opposite.”

“You think I'm going to join the majority.”

“You think I'm going to join the crowd.”

This plumping out of what was at the back of their minds produced in Mr. Brownbee and his colleagues a sort of chemical disturbance. They coughed, moved their feet, and turned away their eyes, till the one who had not risen, a solicitor named Ventnor, said bluffly:

This realization of what had been lingering in their minds created a kind of tension for Mr. Brownbee and his colleagues. They coughed, shifted their feet, and looked away until the one who hadn't stood up, a lawyer named Ventnor, said gruffly:

“Well, put it that way if you like.”

“Well, you can say it that way if you want.”

Old Heythorp's little deep eyes twinkled.

Old Heythorp's small, deep-set eyes sparkled.

“My grandfather lived to be a hundred; my father ninety-six—both of them rips. I'm only eighty, gentlemen; blameless life compared with theirs.”

“My grandfather lived to be a hundred; my father to ninety-six—both of them tough. I’m only eighty, gentlemen; my life has been much less eventful than theirs.”

“Indeed,” Mr. Brownbee said, “we hope you have many years of this life before you.”

“Absolutely,” Mr. Brownbee said, “we hope you have many years of this life ahead of you.”

“More of this than of another.” And a silence fell, till old Heythorp added: “You're getting a thousand a year out of my fees. Mistake to kill the goose that lays the golden eggs. I'll make it twelve hundred. If you force me to resign my directorships by bankruptcy, you won't get a rap, you know.”

“More of this than of the other.” And then there was silence, until old Heythorp added: “You're making a thousand a year off my fees. It would be a mistake to kill the goose that lays the golden eggs. I’ll increase it to twelve hundred. If you push me to resign my directorships because of bankruptcy, you won’t get a cent, you know.”

Mr. Brownbee cleared his throat:

Mr. Brownbee cleared his throat:

“We think, Mr. Heythorp, you should make it at least fifteen hundred. In that case we might perhaps consider—”

“We believe, Mr. Heythorp, you should make it at least fifteen hundred. If you do that, we might consider—”

Old Heythorp shook his head.

Old Heythorp shook his head.

“We can hardly accept your assertion that we should get nothing in the event of bankruptcy. We fancy you greatly underrate the possibilities. Fifteen hundred a year is the least you can do for us.”

“We can hardly accept your claim that we shouldn’t receive anything if there's a bankruptcy. We believe you seriously underestimate the potential outcomes. At the very least, you should provide us with fifteen hundred a year.”

“See you d—-d first.”

"See you damned first."

Another silence followed, then Ventnor, the solicitor, said irascibly:

Another silence followed, then Ventnor, the lawyer, said irritably:

“We know where we are, then.”

“We know where we are, then.”

Brownbee added almost nervously:

Brownbee added a bit nervously:

“Are we to understand that twelve hundred a year is your—your last word?”

“Are we to take it that twelve hundred a year is your final offer?”

Old Heythorp nodded. “Come again this day month, and I'll see what I can do for you;” and he shut his eyes.

Old Heythorp nodded. “Come back on this day next month, and I’ll see what I can do for you;” and he closed his eyes.

Round Mr. Brownbee six of the gentlemen gathered, speaking in low voices; Mr. Ventnor nursed a leg and glowered at old Heythorp, who sat with his eyes closed. Mr. Brownbee went over and conferred with Mr. Ventnor, then clearing his throat, he said:

Round Mr. Brownbee six of the gentlemen gathered, speaking in low voices; Mr. Ventnor nursed a leg and glared at old Heythorp, who sat with his eyes closed. Mr. Brownbee went over and talked to Mr. Ventnor, then clearing his throat, he said:

“Well, sir, we have considered your proposal; we agree to accept it for the moment. We will come again, as you suggest, in a month's time.

“Well, sir, we’ve thought about your proposal; we agree to accept it for now. We will come back, as you suggested, in a month.”

“We hope that you will by then have seen your way to something more substantial, with a view to avoiding what we should all regret, but which I fear will otherwise become inevitable.”

“We hope that by then you will have found a way to something more meaningful, in order to avoid what we would all regret, but which I’m afraid will otherwise become unavoidable.”

Old Heythorp nodded. The eight gentlemen took their hats, and went out one by one, Mr. Brownbee courteously bringing up the rear.

Old Heythorp nodded. The eight gentlemen took their hats and left one by one, with Mr. Brownbee politely bringing up the end.

The old man, who could not get up without assistance, stayed musing in his chair. He had diddled 'em for the moment into giving him another month, and when that month was up-he would diddle 'em again! A month ought to make the Pillin business safe, with all that hung on it. That poor funkey chap Joe Pillin! A gurgling chuckle escaped his red lips. What a shadow the fellow had looked, trotting in that evening just a month ago, behind his valet's announcement: “Mr. Pillin, sir.”

The old man, who couldn't get up without help, sat lost in thought in his chair. He had managed to buy himself another month, and when that month was over—he would pull the same trick again! A month should make the Pillin business secure, given everything that depended on it. That poor guy Joe Pillin! A gurgling chuckle escaped his red lips. What a shadow that guy had looked, walking in that evening just a month ago behind his valet's announcement: “Mr. Pillin, sir.”

What a parchmenty, precise, thread-paper of a chap, with his bird's claw of a hand, and his muffled-up throat, and his quavery:

What a papery, exacting guy he is, with his bird-like claw of a hand, his wrapped-up throat, and his shaky voice!

“How do you do, Sylvanus? I'm afraid you're not—”

“How are you, Sylvanus? I'm afraid you're not—”

“First rate. Sit down. Have some port.”

“Excellent. Take a seat. Enjoy some port.”

“Port! I never drink it. Poison to me! Poison!”

“Port! I never drink it. It’s poison to me! Poison!”

“Do you good!”

“Do you well!”

“Oh! I know, that's what you always say.”

“Oh! I know, that's what you always say.”

“You've a monstrous constitution, Sylvanus. If I drank port and smoked cigars and sat up till one o'clock, I should be in my grave to-morrow. I'm not the man I was. The fact is, I've come to see if you can help me. I'm getting old; I'm growing nervous....”

“You have an incredible constitution, Sylvanus. If I drank port, smoked cigars, and stayed up until one o'clock, I'd be dead by tomorrow. I'm not the person I used to be. The truth is, I've come to see if you can help me. I'm getting older; I'm becoming anxious....”

“You always were as chickeny as an old hen, Joe.”

“You were always as timid as an old hen, Joe.”

“Well, my nature's not like yours. To come to the point, I want to sell my ships and retire. I need rest. Freights are very depressed. I've got my family to think of.”

“Well, my nature isn't like yours. To get straight to the point, I want to sell my ships and retire. I need some rest. Freight rates are really low. I have my family to think about.”

“Crack on, and go broke; buck you up like anything!”

“Keep going, and end up broke; it’ll boost your spirits like crazy!”

“I'm quite serious, Sylvanus.”

"I'm really serious, Sylvanus."

“Never knew you anything else, Joe.”

“Never knew you any different, Joe.”

A quavering cough, and out it had come:

A shaky cough, and out it came:

“Now—in a word—won't your 'Island Navigation Company' buy my ships?”

“Now—let me put it simply—won't your 'Island Navigation Company' buy my ships?”

A pause, a twinkle, a puff of smoke. “Make it worth my while!” He had said it in jest; and then, in a flash, the idea had come to him. Rosamund and her youngsters! What a chance to put something between them and destitution when he had joined the majority! And so he said: “We don't want your silly ships.”

A pause, a twinkle, a puff of smoke. “Make it worth my while!” he had said it jokingly; and then, in an instant, the idea struck him. Rosamund and her kids! What a chance to keep them out of poverty when he was gone! So he said, “We don't want your ridiculous ships.”

That claw of a hand waved in deprecation. “They're very good ships—doing quite well. It's only my wretched health. If I were a strong man I shouldn't dream....”

That claw of a hand waved dismissively. “They’re great ships—doing really well. It’s just my terrible health. If I were a strong man, I wouldn’t even think about it....”

“What d'you want for 'em?” Good Lord! how he jumped if you asked him a plain question. The chap was as nervous as a guinea-fowl!

“What do you want them for?” Good Lord! how he jumped if you asked him a straightforward question. The guy was as nervous as a guinea hen!

“Here are the figures—for the last four years. I think you'll agree that I couldn't ask less than seventy thousand.”

“Here are the numbers—for the last four years. I think you'll agree that I couldn’t ask for less than seventy thousand.”

Through the smoke of his cigar old Heythorp had digested those figures slowly, Joe Pillin feeling his teeth and sucking lozenges the while; then he said:

Through the smoke of his cigar, old Heythorp had taken in those numbers slowly, while Joe Pillin felt his teeth and sucked on lozenges; then he said:

“Sixty thousand! And out of that you pay me ten per cent., if I get it through for you. Take it or leave it.”

“Sixty thousand! And from that, you’ll give me ten percent if I secure it for you. Take it or leave it.”

“My dear Sylvanus, that's almost-cynical.”

“My dear Sylvanus, that's pretty cynical.”

“Too good a price—you'll never get it without me.”

“It's too good of a deal—you'll never get it without me.”

“But a—but a commission! You could never disclose it!”

“But a—but a commission! You could never reveal it!”

“Arrange that all right. Think it over. Freights'll go lower yet. Have some port.”

“Get that sorted out. Think it through. Shipping costs will drop even more. Have some patience.”

“No, no! Thank you. No! So you think freights will go lower?”

“No, no! Thank you. No! So you think shipping costs will drop?”

“Sure of it.”

"Definitely."

“Well, I'll be going. I'm sure I don't know. It's—it's—I must think.”

“Well, I’m heading out. I really can’t say. It’s—it's—I need to think.”

“Think your hardest.”

"Think your hardest."

“Yes, yes. Good-bye. I can't imagine how you still go on smoking those things and drinking port.

“Yes, yes. Goodbye. I can't believe you're still smoking those things and drinking port.”

“See you in your grave yet, Joe.” What a feeble smile the poor fellow had! Laugh-he couldn't! And, alone again, he had browsed, developing the idea which had come to him.

“See you in your grave yet, Joe.” What a weak smile the poor guy had! He couldn't laugh! And, alone again, he had pondered, building on the idea that had come to him.

Though, to dwell in the heart of shipping, Sylvanus Heythorp had lived at Liverpool twenty years, he was from the Eastern Counties, of a family so old that it professed to despise the Conquest. Each of its generations occupied nearly twice as long as those of less tenacious men. Traditionally of Danish origin, its men folk had as a rule bright reddish-brown hair, red cheeks, large round heads, excellent teeth and poor morals. They had done their best for the population of any county in which they had settled; their offshoots swarmed. Born in the early twenties of the nineteenth century, Sylvanus Heythorp, after an education broken by escapades both at school and college, had fetched up in that simple London of the late forties, where claret, opera, and eight per cent. for your money ruled a cheery roost. Made partner in his shipping firm well before he was thirty, he had sailed with a wet sheet and a flowing tide; dancers, claret, Cliquot, and piquet; a cab with a tiger; some travel—all that delicious early-Victorian consciousness of nothing save a golden time. It was all so full and mellow that he was forty before he had his only love affair of any depth—with the daughter of one of his own clerks, a liaison so awkward as to necessitate a sedulous concealment. The death of that girl, after three years, leaving him a natural son, had been the chief, perhaps the only real, sorrow of his life. Five years later he married. What for? God only knew! as he was in the habit of remarking. His wife had been a hard, worldly, well-connected woman, who presented him with two unnatural children, a girl and a boy, and grew harder, more worldly, less handsome, in the process. The migration to Liverpool, which took place when he was sixty and she forty-two, broke what she still had of heart, but she lingered on twelve years, finding solace in bridge, and being haughty towards Liverpool. Old Heythorp saw her to her rest without regret. He had felt no love for her whatever, and practically none for her two children—they were in his view colourless, pragmatical, very unexpected characters. His son Ernest—in the Admiralty—he thought a poor, careful stick. His daughter Adela, an excellent manager, delighting in spiritual conversation and the society of tame men, rarely failed to show him that she considered him a hopeless heathen. They saw as little as need be of each other. She was provided for under that settlement he had made on her mother fifteen years ago, well before the not altogether unexpected crisis in his affairs. Very different was the feeling he had bestowed on that son of his “under the rose.” The boy, who had always gone by his mother's name of Larne, had on her death been sent to some relations of hers in Ireland, and there brought up. He had been called to the Dublin bar, and married, young, a girl half Cornish and half Irish; presently, having cost old Heythorp in all a pretty penny, he had died impecunious, leaving his fair Rosamund at thirty with a girl of eight and a boy of five. She had not spent six months of widowhood before coming over from Dublin to claim the old man's guardianship. A remarkably pretty woman, like a full-blown rose, with greenish hazel eyes, she had turned up one morning at the offices of “The Island Navigation Company,” accompanied by her two children—for he had never divulged to them his private address. And since then they had always been more or less on his hands, occupying a small house in a suburb of Liverpool. He visited them there, but never asked them to the house in Sefton Park, which was in fact his daughter's; so that his proper family and friends were unaware of their existence.

Though Sylvanus Heythorp had spent twenty years living in Liverpool, at the heart of the shipping industry, he originally hailed from the Eastern Counties, from a family so old they claimed to despise the Conquest. Each generation lasted nearly twice as long as those of less stubborn people. Traditionally of Danish descent, the men in his family typically had bright reddish-brown hair, rosy cheeks, large round heads, great teeth, and questionable morals. They had contributed to the population of every county they settled in; their branches multiplied. Born in the early twenties of the nineteenth century, Sylvanus Heythorp, after a tumultuous education marked by escapades at school and college, ended up in the simple London of the late forties, where wine, opera, and eight percent interest were all the rage in a lively scene. He became a partner in his shipping firm well before turning thirty, living life to the fullest with wine, dancing, Cliquot champagne, piquet games, and some travel—all that delightful early-Victorian feeling of simply enjoying a golden era. He was so immersed in it that it wasn't until he was forty that he experienced his only significant love affair—with the daughter of one of his clerks, a complicated relationship that required careful secrecy. The girl’s death, after three years, leaving him with a son, was the chief, perhaps the only real, sorrow of his life. Five years later, he got married. Why? Only God knew, as he often remarked. His wife was a tough, worldly, well-connected woman, who gave him two difficult children, a girl and a boy, and became increasingly hard, worldly, and less attractive over time. When they moved to Liverpool, at sixty for him and forty-two for her, it shattered what was left of her heart, but she lingered for twelve more years, finding comfort in bridge games and maintaining an air of superiority towards Liverpool. Old Heythorp watched her go without regret. He had felt no love for her and practically none for her children—they seemed to him colorless, pragmatic, and very unexpected. His son Ernest, who worked in the Admiralty, appeared to him a poor, overly cautious man. His daughter Adela, a competent manager who enjoyed deep conversations and the company of tame men, rarely missed an opportunity to show him that she thought he was a hopeless heathen. They saw each other as little as possible. She was set up under a financial agreement he had arranged for her mother fifteen years ago, well before the not entirely surprising crisis in his life. The feeling he had for that son he kept "under the rose" was very different. The boy, always known by his mother’s surname Larne, had gone to live with some of her relatives in Ireland after her death, growing up there. He became a barrister in Dublin and married young to a girl who was half Cornish and half Irish; in time, after costing old Heythorp a significant amount of money, he died broke, leaving his lovely widow Rosamund at thirty with a daughter of eight and a son of five. She didn’t spend more than six months as a widow before coming over from Dublin to seek the old man's guardianship. A remarkably beautiful woman, like a full-blown rose, with greenish hazel eyes, she showed up one morning at the offices of “The Island Navigation Company,” accompanied by her two children—he had never shared his private address with them. Since then, they had been more or less his responsibility, living in a small house in a Liverpool suburb. He would visit them there but never invited them to his house in Sefton Park, which actually belonged to his daughter, so his proper family and friends were unaware of their existence.

Rosamund Larne was one of those precarious ladies who make uncertain incomes by writing full-bodied storyettes. In the most dismal circumstances she enjoyed a buoyancy bordering on the indecent; which always amused old Heythorp's cynicism. But of his grandchildren Phyllis and Jock (wild as colts) he had become fond. And this chance of getting six thousand pounds settled on them at a stroke had seemed to him nothing but heaven-sent. As things were, if he “went off”—and, of course, he might at any moment, there wouldn't be a penny for them; for he would “cut up” a good fifteen thousand to the bad. He was now giving them some three hundred a year out of his fees; and dead directors unfortunately earned no fees! Six thousand pounds at four and a half per cent., settled so that their mother couldn't “blue it,” would give them a certain two hundred and fifty pounds a year-better than beggary. And the more he thought the better he liked it, if only that shaky chap, Joe Pillin, didn't shy off when he'd bitten his nails short over it!

Rosamund Larne was one of those uncertain women who made a living writing vivid short stories. Even in the bleakest situations, she maintained a cheerfulness that bordered on the inappropriate, which always entertained old Heythorp's cynicism. But he had grown fond of his grandchildren, Phyllis and Jock (as wild as colts). The possibility of getting six thousand pounds secured for them all at once seemed to him like a divine blessing. As it stood, if he "kicked the bucket"—and of course, he could at any moment—there wouldn’t be a dime left for them; he would "leave" a good fifteen thousand in the red. Currently, he was giving them about three hundred a year from his earnings; and sadly, dead directors didn’t earn any fees! Six thousand pounds at four and a half percent, set up in a way that their mother couldn’t waste it, would provide them with a solid two hundred and fifty pounds a year—much better than living in poverty. The more he considered it, the more he liked the idea, provided that wobbly guy, Joe Pillin, didn’t back out after he’d gnawed his nails down to the quick!

Four evenings later, the “shaky chap” had again appeared at his house in Sefton Park.

Four evenings later, the “nervous guy” had shown up at his house in Sefton Park again.

“I've thought it over, Sylvanus. I don't like it.

"I've thought it through, Sylvanus. I'm not a fan."

“No; but you'll do it.”

"No; but you will."

“It's a sacrifice. Fifty-four thousand for four ships—it means a considerable reduction in my income.”

“It's a sacrifice. Fifty-four thousand for four ships—that's a significant drop in my income.”

“It means security, my boy.”

“It means safety, son.”

“Well, there is that; but you know, I really can't be party to a secret commission. If it came out, think of my name and goodness knows what.”

“Well, that’s true; but you know, I really can’t be involved in a secret deal. If it got out, think of my reputation and who knows what else.”

“It won't come out.”

“It won't budge.”

“Yes, yes, so you say, but—”

“Yes, yes, that’s what you say, but—”

“All you've got to do's to execute a settlement on some third parties that I'll name. I'm not going to take a penny of it myself. Get your own lawyer to draw it up and make him trustee. You can sign it when the purchase has gone through. I'll trust you, Joe. What stock have you got that gives four and a half per cent.?”

“All you need to do is set up a settlement with some third parties that I'll mention. I won’t take a cent from it myself. Get your own lawyer to write it up and have him act as trustee. You can sign it once the purchase is finalized. I trust you, Joe. What stock do you have that pays four and a half percent?”

“Midland”

“Midland”

“That'll do. You needn't sell.”

"That's enough. You don't have to sell."

“Yes, but who are these people?”

“Yes, but who are these people?”

“Woman and her children I want to do a good turn to.” What a face the fellow had made! “Afraid of being connected with a woman, Joe?”

“Woman and her children, I want to help out.” What a face that guy had made! “Scared of being involved with a woman, Joe?”

“Yes, you may laugh—I am afraid of being connected with someone else's woman. I don't like it—I don't like it at all. I've not led your life, Sylvanus.”

“Yes, go ahead and laugh—I’m afraid of being involved with someone else’s woman. I really don’t like it—I don’t like it at all. I haven’t lived your life, Sylvanus.”

“Lucky for you; you'd have been dead long ago. Tell your lawyer it's an old flame of yours—you old dog!”

“Lucky for you; you would have been dead a long time ago. Tell your lawyer it's an old fling of yours—you sly dog!”

“Yes, there it is at once, you see. I might be subject to blackmail.”

“Yes, there it is right away, you see. I could be blackmailed.”

“Tell him to keep it dark, and just pay over the income, quarterly.”

“Tell him to keep it quiet and just pay the income quarterly.”

“I don't like it, Sylvanus—I don't like it.”

“I don't like it, Sylvanus—I don't like it.”

“Then leave it, and be hanged to you. Have a cigar?”

“Then forget it, and good luck to you. Want a cigar?”

“You know I never smoke. Is there no other way?”

“You know I don’t smoke. Is there no other option?”

“Yes. Sell stock in London, bank the proceeds there, and bring me six thousand pounds in notes. I'll hold 'em till after the general meeting. If the thing doesn't go through, I'll hand 'em back to you.”

“Yeah. Sell the stock in London, deposit the money there, and bring me six thousand pounds in cash. I’ll keep it until after the general meeting. If it doesn’t go through, I’ll give it back to you.”

“No; I like that even less.”

“No; I like that even less.”

“Rather I trusted you, eh!”

"I trusted you, right!"

“No, not at all, Sylvanus, not at all. But it's all playing round the law.”

“No, not at all, Sylvanus, not at all. But it’s all just dancing around the law.”

“There's no law to prevent you doing what you like with your money. What I do's nothing to you. And mind you, I'm taking nothing from it—not a mag. You assist the widowed and the fatherless—just your line, Joe!”

“There's no law against you spending your money however you want. What I do doesn’t affect you. And just so you know, I'm not taking a penny from it—not a dime. You help the widows and the orphans—just your thing, Joe!”

“What a fellow you are, Sylvanus; you don't seem capable of taking anything seriously.”

"What a guy you are, Sylvanus; you don't seem able to take anything seriously."

“Care killed the cat!”

“Curiosity killed the cat!”

Left alone after this second interview he had thought: 'The beggar'll jump.'

Left alone after this second interview, he thought, 'The beggar's going to jump.'

And the beggar had. That settlement was drawn and only awaited signature. The Board to-day had decided on the purchase; and all that remained was to get it ratified at the general meeting. Let him but get that over, and this provision for his grandchildren made, and he would snap his fingers at Brownbee and his crew-the canting humbugs! “Hope you have many years of this life before you!” As if they cared for anything but his money—their money rather! And becoming conscious of the length of his reverie, he grasped the arms of his chair, heaved at his own bulk, in an effort to rise, growing redder and redder in face and neck. It was one of the hundred things his doctor had told him not to do for fear of apoplexy, the humbug! Why didn't Farney or one of those young fellows come and help him up? To call out was undignified. But was he to sit there all night? Three times he failed, and after each failure sat motionless again, crimson and exhausted; the fourth time he succeeded, and slowly made for the office. Passing through, he stopped and said in his extinct voice:

And the beggar had. That settlement was drawn up and just needed a signature. The Board had decided today to go ahead with the purchase; all that was left was to get it approved at the general meeting. Once he got that done and secured a future for his grandchildren, he would laugh in the face of Brownbee and his crew—the self-righteous fakes! “Hope you have many years of this life ahead!” As if they cared about anything but his money—their money, really! As he became aware of how long he had been lost in thought, he grabbed the arms of his chair and struggled to lift his weight in an attempt to rise, getting redder in the face and neck. It was one of the many things his doctor had warned him against doing for fear of a stroke, the fraud! Why didn't Farney or one of those younger guys come to help him up? Calling out would be undignified. But was he supposed to just sit there all night? He tried three times and after each failed attempt, he sat back down, red-faced and exhausted; on the fourth try, he succeeded and slowly made his way to the office. As he passed through, he stopped and said in his fading voice:

“You young gentlemen had forgotten me.”

"You all have forgotten me."

“Mr. Farney said you didn't wish to be disturbed, sir.”

“Mr. Farney said you didn't want to be bothered, sir.”

“Very good of him. Give me my hat and coat.”

“That's really nice of him. Please hand me my hat and coat.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Sure, sir.”

“Thank you. What time is it?”

“Thank you. What time is it?”

“Six o'clock, sir.”

“6 PM, sir.”

“Tell Mr. Farney to come and see me tomorrow at noon, about my speech for the general meeting.”

“Tell Mr. Farney to come see me tomorrow at noon about my speech for the general meeting.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Good-night to you.”

“Goodnight to you.”

“Good-night, Sir.”

“Good night, Sir.”

At his tortoise gait he passed between the office stools to the door, opened it feebly, and slowly vanished.

At his slow, awkward pace, he walked between the office stools to the door, opened it weakly, and slowly disappeared.

Shutting the door behind him, a clerk said:

Shutting the door behind him, a clerk said:

“Poor old chairman! He's on his last!”

“Poor old chairman! He's at the end of his rope!”

Another answered:

Another responded:

“Gosh! He's a tough old hulk. He'll go down fightin'.”

“Wow! He's a tough old guy. He’ll go down swinging.”





2

Issuing from the offices of “The Island Navigation Company,” Sylvanus Heythorp moved towards the corner whence he always took tram to Sefton Park. The crowded street had all that prosperous air of catching or missing something which characterises the town where London and New York and Dublin meet. Old Heythorp had to cross to the far side, and he sallied forth without regard to traffic. That snail-like passage had in it a touch of the sublime; the old man seemed saying: “Knock me down and be d—-d to you—I'm not going to hurry.” His life was saved perhaps ten times a day by the British character at large, compounded of phlegm and a liking to take something under its protection. The tram conductors on that line were especially used to him, never failing to catch him under the arms and heave him like a sack of coals, while with trembling hands he pulled hard at the rail and strap.

Emerging from the offices of “The Island Navigation Company,” Sylvanus Heythorp made his way to the corner where he always caught the tram to Sefton Park. The busy street had that familiar vibe of either catching or missing something that defines the town where London, New York, and Dublin intersect. Old Heythorp had to cross to the other side, and he stepped onto the road without caring about the traffic. That slow passage had a hint of the sublime; the old man seemed to be saying, “Knock me down, and good luck to you—I'm not in a hurry.” His life was likely saved at least ten times a day by the British character, which is a mix of stoicism and a desire to protect something. The tram conductors on that line were especially familiar with him, always ready to lift him under the arms and hoist him like a sack of coal, while he clung to the rail and strap with trembling hands.

“All right, sir?”

“Everything good, sir?”

“Thank you.”

"Thanks."

He moved into the body of the tram, where somebody would always get up from kindness and the fear that he might sit down on them; and there he stayed motionless, his little eyes tight closed. With his red face, tuft of white hairs above his square cleft block of shaven chin, and his big high-crowned bowler hat, which yet seemed too petty for his head with its thick hair—he looked like some kind of an idol dug up and decked out in gear a size too small.

He stepped into the tram, where someone would always get up out of kindness and the worry that he might sit next to them; and there he sat still, his small eyes tightly shut. With his red face, a tuft of white hair above his square jawline, and his big, high-crowned bowler hat that still seemed too small for his head of thick hair—he looked like some sort of idol that had been unearthed and dressed in clothes that were one size too small.

One of those voices of young men from public schools and exchanges where things are bought and sold, said:

One of those voices of young men from public schools and marketplaces where things are bought and sold said:

“How de do, Mr. Heythorp?”

"How do you do, Mr. Heythorp?"

Old Heythorp opened his eyes. That sleek cub, Joe Pillin's son! What a young pup-with his round eyes, and his round cheeks, and his little moustache, his fur coat, his spats, his diamond pin!

Old Heythorp opened his eyes. That smooth young guy, Joe Pillin's son! What a young pup—with his round eyes, round cheeks, little mustache, fur coat, spats, and diamond pin!

“How's your father?” he said.

"How's your dad?" he said.

“Thanks, rather below par, worryin' about his ships. Suppose you haven't any news for him, sir?”

“Thanks, not doing so well, worrying about his ships. I guess you don’t have any news for him, sir?”

Old Heythorp nodded. The young man was one of his pet abominations, embodying all the complacent, little-headed mediocrity of this new generation; natty fellows all turned out of the same mould, sippers and tasters, chaps without drive or capacity, without even vices; and he did not intend to gratify the cub's curiosity.

Old Heythorp nodded. The young man was one of his pet annoyances, embodying all the complacent, small-minded mediocrity of this new generation; well-dressed guys all produced from the same mold, sip-and-savor types, guys without ambition or talent, lacking even vices; and he did not plan to satisfy the kid's curiosity.

“Come to my house,” he said; “I'll give you a note for him.”

“Come to my place,” he said; “I’ll give you a note for him.”

“Tha-anks; I'd like to cheer the old man up.”

“Thanks; I’d like to cheer the old man up.”

The old man! Cheeky brat! And closing his eyes he relapsed into immobility. The tram wound and ground its upward way, and he mused. When he was that cub's age—twenty-eight or whatever it might be—he had done most things; been up Vesuvius, driven four-in-hand, lost his last penny on the Derby and won it back on the Oaks, known all the dancers and operatic stars of the day, fought a duel with a Yankee at Dieppe and winged him for saying through his confounded nose that Old England was played out; been a controlling voice already in his shipping firm; drunk five other of the best men in London under the table; broken his neck steeple-chasing; shot a burglar in the legs; been nearly drowned, for a bet; killed snipe in Chelsea; been to Court for his sins; stared a ghost out of countenance; and travelled with a lady of Spain. If this young pup had done the last, it would be all he had; and yet, no doubt, he would call himself a “spark.”

The old man! What a cheeky brat! And closing his eyes, he fell silent. The tram twisted and creaked its way up, and he reflected. When he was the age of that young guy—twenty-eight or whatever it was—he had done most things; climbed Vesuvius, driven a team of four horses, lost his last penny on the Derby and won it back on the Oaks, knew all the dancers and opera stars of his time, fought a duel with an American at Dieppe and grazed him for saying through his annoying nose that Old England was finished; had already been a key player in his shipping company; out-drank five of the best men in London; broke his neck steeple-chasing; shot a burglar in the legs; nearly drowned for a bet; killed snipe in Chelsea; faced the court for his misdeeds; scared a ghost away; and traveled with a lady from Spain. If this young punk had done just that last one, it would be all he had; yet, no doubt, he would call himself a “spark.”

The conductor touched his arm.

The conductor tapped his arm.

“'Ere you are, sir.”

“Here you are, sir.”

“Thank you.”

“Thanks.”

He lowered himself to the ground, and moved in the bluish darkness towards the gate of his daughter's house. Bob Pillin walked beside him, thinking: 'Poor old josser, he is gettin' a back number!' And he said: “I should have thought you ought to drive, sir. My old guv'nor would knock up at once if he went about at night like this.”

He crouched down and moved through the bluish darkness toward the gate of his daughter's house. Bob Pillin walked beside him, thinking, 'Poor old guy, he's really out of touch!' He said, “I figured you should be the one driving, sir. My old man would be worn out immediately if he went out at night like this.”

The answer rumbled out into the misty air:

The answer echoed into the foggy air:

“Your father's got no chest; never had.”

“Your dad has no chest; he never did.”

Bob Pillin gave vent to one of those fat cackles which come so readily from a certain type of man; and old Heythorp thought:

Bob Pillin let out one of those loud laughs that come so easily from a certain type of guy; and old Heythorp thought:

'Laughing at his father! Parrot!'

"Mocking his dad! Parrot!"

They had reached the porch.

They had arrived at the porch.

A woman with dark hair and a thin, straight face and figure was arranging some flowers in the hall. She turned and said:

A woman with dark hair and a slim, straight face and body was arranging some flowers in the hallway. She turned and said:

“You really ought not to be so late, Father! It's wicked at this time of year. Who is it—oh! Mr. Pillin, how do you do? Have you had tea? Won't you come to the drawing-room; or do you want to see my father?”

“You really shouldn't be so late, Dad! It's not right at this time of year. Who is it—oh! Mr. Pillin, nice to see you! Have you had tea? Would you like to come to the living room, or do you want to see my dad?”

“Tha-anks! I believe your father—” And he thought: 'By Jove! the old chap is a caution!' For old Heythorp was crossing the hall without having paid the faintest attention to his daughter. Murmuring again:

“Thanks! I think your dad—” And he thought: 'Wow! That old guy is something else!' Because old Heythorp was walking through the hall without even noticing his daughter. Murmuring again:

“Tha-anks awfully; he wants to give me something,” he followed. Miss Heythorp was not his style at all; he had a kind of dread of that thin woman who looked as if she could never be unbuttoned. They said she was a great churchgoer and all that sort of thing.

“Thanks a lot; he wants to give me something,” he continued. Miss Heythorp was not his type at all; he felt a sort of fear toward that thin woman who looked like she could never be unbuttoned. They said she was a big churchgoer and all that stuff.

In his sanctum old Heythorp had moved to his writing-table, and was evidently anxious to sit down.

In his private space, old Heythorp had moved to his writing desk and was clearly eager to take a seat.

“Shall I give you a hand, sir?”

“Do you need a hand, sir?”

Receiving a shake of the head, Bob Pillin stood by the fire and watched. The old “sport” liked to paddle his own canoe. Fancy having to lower yourself into a chair like that! When an old Johnny got to such a state it was really a mercy when he snuffed out, and made way for younger men. How his Companies could go on putting up with such a fossil for chairman was a marvel! The fossil rumbled and said in that almost inaudible voice:

Receiving a shake of the head, Bob Pillin stood by the fire and watched. The old “sport” liked to paddle his own canoe. Can you believe he has to lower himself into a chair like that? When someone gets to such a state, it’s really a blessing when they pass on and make way for younger people. It’s a mystery how his companies can keep putting up with such an ancient guy as their chairman! The old man mumbled and said in that almost inaudible voice:

“I suppose you're beginning to look forward to your father's shoes?”

“I guess you're starting to look forward to filling your father's shoes?”

Bob Pillin's mouth opened. The voice went on:

Bob Pillin's mouth dropped open. The voice continued:

“Dibs and no responsibility. Tell him from me to drink port—add five years to his life.”

“Dibs and no responsibility. Tell him from me to drink port—add five years to his life.”

To this unwarranted attack Bob Pillin made no answer save a laugh; he perceived that a manservant had entered the room.

To this uncalled-for attack, Bob Pillin just laughed; he noticed that a manservant had come into the room.

“A Mrs. Larne, sir. Will you see her?”

“A Mrs. Larne, sir. Do you want to see her?”

At this announcement the old man seemed to try and start; then he nodded, and held out the note he had written. Bob Pillin received it together with the impression of a murmur which sounded like: “Scratch a poll, Poll!” and passing the fine figure of a woman in a fur coat, who seemed to warm the air as she went by, he was in the hall again before he perceived that he had left his hat.

At this announcement, the old man looked like he was about to get up; then he nodded and handed over the note he had written. Bob Pillin took it along with what sounded like a murmur saying, “Scratch a poll, Poll!” As he passed by an elegant woman in a fur coat, who seemed to bring warmth to the air as she walked by, he was back in the hall before he realized he had left his hat.

A young and pretty girl was standing on the bearskin before the fire, looking at him with round-eyed innocence. He thought: 'This is better; I mustn't disturb them for my hat'. and approaching the fire, said:

A young and pretty girl was standing on the bearskin in front of the fire, looking at him with wide-eyed innocence. He thought: 'This is better; I shouldn't disturb them for my hat.' and walking closer to the fire, said:

“Jolly cold, isn't it?”

“It's pretty cold, isn't it?”

The girl smiled: “Yes-jolly.”

The girl smiled: “Yes, awesome.”

He noticed that she had a large bunch of violets at her breast, a lot of fair hair, a short straight nose, and round blue-grey eyes very frank and open. “Er” he said, “I've left my hat in there.”

He saw that she had a big bunch of violets at her chest, a lot of light hair, a short straight nose, and round blue-grey eyes that were very honest and clear. "Um," he said, "I left my hat in there."

“What larks!” And at her little clear laugh something moved within Bob Pillin.

“What a fun time!” And at her little bright laugh, something shifted inside Bob Pillin.

“You know this house well?”

"You familiar with this house?"

She shook her head. “But it's rather scrummy, isn't it?”

She shook her head. “But it's pretty tasty, isn't it?”

Bob Pillin, who had never yet thought so answered:

Bob Pillin, who had never thought about it before, replied:

“Quite O.K.”

"All good."

The girl threw up her head to laugh again. “O.K.? What's that?”

The girl tilted her head back to laugh again. “Okay? What’s that?”

Bob Pillin saw her white round throat, and thought: 'She is a ripper!' And he said with a certain desperation:

Bob Pillin saw her white, round neck and thought, 'She's a knockout!' And he said with a hint of desperation:

“My name's Pillin. Yours is Larne, isn't it? Are you a relation here?”

“My name's Pillin. Yours is Larne, right? Are you related to anyone here?”

“He's our Guardy. Isn't he a chook?”

"He's our Guardy. Isn't he a chicken?"

That rumbling whisper like “Scratch a Poll, Poll!” recurring to Bob Pillin, he said with reservation:

That rumbling whisper like “Scratch a Poll, Poll!” kept coming back to Bob Pillin, and he replied cautiously:

“You know him better than I do.” “Oh! Aren't you his grandson, or something?”

“You know him better than I do.” “Oh! Aren't you his grandson or something?”

Bob Pillin did not cross himself.

Bob Pillin did not make the sign of the cross.

“Lord! No! My dad's an old friend of his; that's all.”

“Lord! No! My dad is just an old friend of his; that's it.”

“Is your dad like him?”

“Is your dad similar to him?”

“Not much.”

“Not much going on.”

“What a pity! It would have been lovely if they'd been Tweedles.”

“What a shame! It would have been nice if they had been Tweedles.”

Bob Pillin thought: 'This bit is something new. I wonder what her Christian name is.' And he said:

Bob Pillin thought, "This is something new. I wonder what her first name is." And he said:

“What did your godfather and godmothers in your baptism—-?”

“What did your godfather and godmothers do during your baptism—-?”

The girl laughed; she seemed to laugh at everything.

The girl laughed; it felt like she laughed at everything.

“Phyllis.”

"Phyllis."

Could he say: “Is my only joy”? Better keep it! But-for what? He wouldn't see her again if he didn't look out! And he said:

Could he say: “Is this my only joy”? Better not to say it! But why? He wouldn’t see her again if he didn’t pay attention! And he said:

“I live at the last house in the park-the red one. D'you know it? Where do you?”

“I live in the last house in the park—the red one. Do you know it? Where do you live?”

“Oh! a long way—23, Millicent Villas. It's a poky little house. I hate it. We have awful larks, though.”

“Oh! It’s quite a distance—23, Millicent Villas. It’s a tiny little house. I can’t stand it. We have some terrible fun, though.”

“Who are we?”

“Who are we now?”

“Mother, and myself, and Jock—he's an awful boy. You can't conceive what an awful boy he is. He's got nearly red hair; I think he'll be just like Guardy when he gets old. He's awful!”

“Mom, me, and Jock—he's a terrible kid. You can't even imagine how terrible he is. He's got almost red hair; I think he's going to be just like Guardy when he gets older. He's awful!”

Bob Pillin murmured:

Bob Pillin whispered:

“I should like to see him.”

“I want to see him.”

“Would you? I'll ask mother if you can. You won't want to again; he goes off all the time like a squib.” She threw back her head, and again Bob Pillin felt a little giddy. He collected himself, and drawled:

“Would you? I'll ask Mom if you can. You probably won’t want to again; he runs off all the time like a firecracker.” She tossed her head back, and again Bob Pillin felt a bit dizzy. He gathered himself and said:

“Are you going in to see your Guardy?”

“Are you going in to see your grandpa?”

“No. Mother's got something special to say. We've never been here before, you see. Isn't he fun, though?”

“No. Mom has something special to say. We've never been here before, you know. Isn't he fun, though?”

“Fun!”

“Awesome!”

“I think he's the greatest lark; but he's awfully nice to me. Jock calls him the last of the Stoic'uns.”

“I think he's the greatest guy; but he's really nice to me. Jock calls him the last of the Stoics.”

A voice called from old Heythorp's den:

A voice shouted from old Heythorp's den:

“Phyllis!” It had a particular ring, that voice, as if coming from beautifully formed red lips, of which the lower one must curve the least bit over; it had, too, a caressing vitality, and a kind of warm falsity.

“Phyllis!” That voice had a distinct sound, as if it came from perfectly shaped red lips, where the bottom one had to curve just slightly over; it also carried a soothing energy and a touch of warm insincerity.

The girl threw a laughing look back over her shoulder, and vanished through the door into the room.

The girl shot a playful glance over her shoulder and disappeared through the door into the room.

Bob Pillin remained with his back to the fire and his puppy round eyes fixed on the air that her figure had last occupied. He was experiencing a sensation never felt before. Those travels with a lady of Spain, charitably conceded him by old Heythorp, had so far satisfied the emotional side of this young man; they had stopped short at Brighton and Scarborough, and been preserved from even the slightest intrusion of love. A calculated and hygienic career had caused no anxiety either to himself or his father; and this sudden swoop of something more than admiration gave him an uncomfortable choky feeling just above his high round collar, and in the temples a sort of buzzing—those first symptoms of chivalry. A man of the world does not, however, succumb without a struggle; and if his hat had not been out of reach, who knows whether he would not have left the house hurriedly, saying to himself: “No, no, my boy; Millicent Villas is hardly your form, when your intentions are honourable”? For somehow that round and laughing face, bob of glistening hair, those wide-opened grey eyes refused to awaken the beginnings of other intentions—such is the effect of youth and innocence on even the steadiest young men. With a kind of moral stammer, he was thinking: 'Can I—dare I offer to see them to their tram? Couldn't I even nip out and get the car round and send them home in it? No, I might miss them—better stick it out here! What a jolly laugh! What a tipping face—strawberries and cream, hay, and all that! Millicent Villas!' And he wrote it on his cuff.

Bob Pillin stood with his back to the fire, his puppy-like eyes fixed on the space where the woman had just been. He was feeling something he had never experienced before. Those trips with a woman from Spain, graciously gifted to him by old Heythorp, had satisfied this young man's emotional needs up until now; they had ended at Brighton and Scarborough, keeping him free from even the slightest touch of love. His planned and safe life had caused no stress for him or his father, but this sudden rush of something more than admiration gave him an uncomfortable tightness just above his high, round collar, and a kind of buzzing in his temples—those first signs of chivalry. A worldly man, however, doesn’t give in easily; and if his hat hadn’t been out of reach, who knows if he wouldn’t have rushed out of the house, telling himself: “No, no, my boy; Millicent Villas isn’t your type if your intentions are honorable”? Somehow, that round, laughing face, the bob of shiny hair, and those wide-open grey eyes didn’t stir up any other intentions—such is the effect of youth and innocence on even the most composed young men. With a sort of moral hesitation, he thought: 'Can I—dare I offer to see them to their tram? Could I even quickly go get the car and send them home in it? No, I might miss them—better to stay here! What a fun laugh! What a charming face—like strawberries and cream, hay, and all that! Millicent Villas!' And he wrote it on his cuff.

The door was opening; he heard that warm vibrating voice: “Come along, Phyllis!”—the girl's laugh so high and fresh: “Right-o! Coming!” And with, perhaps, the first real tremor he had ever known, he crossed to the front door. All the more chivalrous to escort them to the tram without a hat! And suddenly he heard: “I've got your hat, young man!” And her mother's voice, warm, and simulating shock: “Phyllis, you awful gairl! Did you ever see such an awful gairl; Mr.—-”

The door was opening; he heard that warm, vibrant voice: “Come on, Phyllis!”—the girl’s laugh was so bright and fresh: “Sure thing! Coming!” And with maybe the first real flutter he had ever felt, he walked over to the front door. It was chivalrous of him to see them off to the tram without a hat! Then suddenly, he heard: “I’ve got your hat, young man!” And her mother’s voice, warm and pretending to be shocked: “Phyllis, you terrible girl! Have you ever seen such a terrible girl; Mr.—-”

“Pillin, Mother.”

"Mom, I'm sick."

And then—he did not quite know how—insulated from the January air by laughter and the scent of fur and violets, he was between them walking to their tram. It was like an experience out of the “Arabian Nights,” or something of that sort, an intoxication which made one say one was going their way, though one would have to come all the way back in the same beastly tram. Nothing so warming had ever happened to him as sitting between them on that drive, so that he forgot the note in his pocket, and his desire to relieve the anxiety of the “old man,” his father. At the tram's terminus they all got out. There issued a purr of invitation to come and see them some time; a clear: “Jock'll love to see you!” A low laugh: “You awful gairl!” And a flash of cunning zigzagged across his brain. Taking off his hat, he said:

And then—he didn't really know how—wrapped up in laughter and the smell of fur and violets, he found himself walking with them to their tram. It felt like something out of the “Arabian Nights,” or something like that, a buzz that made him say he was heading their way, even though he would have to come all the way back in the same awful tram. Nothing had ever felt as warm as sitting between them during that ride, to the point that he forgot the note in his pocket and his worry about the “old man,” his father. At the tram's end, they all got out. There was a tempting hint in the air that invited him to come and visit them sometime; a clear, “Jock'll love to see you!” A soft laugh: “You terrible girl!” And a spark of mischief crossed his mind. Taking off his hat, he said:

“Thanks awfully; rather!” and put his foot back on the step of the tram. Thus did he delicately expose the depths of his chivalry!

“Thanks so much; for sure!” and put his foot back on the tram step. Thus did he subtly reveal the depths of his chivalry!

“Oh! you said you were going our way! What one-ers you do tell! Oh!” The words were as music; the sight of those eyes growing rounder, the most perfect he had ever seen; and Mrs. Larne's low laugh, so warm yet so preoccupied, and the tips of the girl's fingers waving back above her head. He heaved a sigh, and knew no more till he was seated at his club before a bottle of champagne. Home! Not he! He wished to drink and dream. “The old man” would get his news all right to-morrow!

“Oh! You said you were going our way! What a storyteller you are! Oh!” The words sounded like music; the way her eyes widened was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen; and Mrs. Larne's soft laugh, warm yet distracted, along with the tips of the girl's fingers waving playfully above her head. He let out a sigh, and after that, he didn't think about anything until he found himself at his club with a bottle of champagne in front of him. Home? Not for him! He wanted to drink and dream. “The old man” would get his updates just fine tomorrow!





3

The words: “A Mrs. Larne to see you, sir,” had been of a nature to astonish weaker nerves. What had brought her here? She knew she mustn't come! Old Heythorp had watched her entrance with cynical amusement. The way she whiffed herself at that young pup in passing, the way her eyes slid round! He had a very just appreciation of his son's widow; and a smile settled deep between his chin tuft and his moustache. She lifted his hand, kissed it, pressed it to her splendid bust, and said:

The words: “A Mrs. Larne to see you, sir,” were likely to shock anyone less composed. Why was she here? She knew she shouldn’t have come! Old Heythorp observed her entrance with a cynical grin. The way she tossed her hair at that young guy as she walked by, the way her eyes darted around! He had a keen understanding of his son's widow; a smile crept in deep between his chin tuft and moustache. She took his hand, kissed it, pressed it to her impressive chest, and said:

“So here I am at last, you see. Aren't you surprised?”

“So here I am finally, you see. Aren't you surprised?”

Old Heythorp, shook his head.

Old Heythorp shook his head.

“I really had to come and see you, Guardy; we haven't had a sight of you for such an age. And in this awful weather! How are you, dear old Guardy?”

“I really had to come and see you, Guardy; we haven't seen you in forever. And in this terrible weather! How are you, dear old Guardy?”

“Never better.” And, watching her green-grey eyes, he added:

“Never better.” And, looking into her green-grey eyes, he added:

“Haven't a penny for you!”

"Don't have a penny for you!"

Her face did not fall; she gave her feather-laugh.

Her expression didn't change; she laughed lightly, like a soft feather.

“How dreadful of you to think I came for that! But I am in an awful fix, Guardy.”

“How terrible of you to think I came for that! But I’m in a really tough situation, Guardy.”

“Never knew you not to be.”

“Never thought you’d change.”

“Just let me tell you, dear; it'll be some relief. I'm having the most terrible time.”

“Just let me tell you, dear; it’ll be such a relief. I’m having the worst time.”

She sank into a low chair, disengaging an overpowering scent of violets, while melancholy struggled to subdue her face and body.

She settled into a low chair, surrounded by a strong scent of violets, as sadness fought to take over her face and body.

“The most awful fix. I expect to be sold up any moment. We may be on the streets to-morrow. I daren't tell the children; they're so happy, poor darlings. I shall be obliged to take Jock away from school. And Phyllis will have to stop her piano and dancing; it's an absolute crisis. And all due to those Midland Syndicate people. I've been counting on at least two hundred for my new story, and the wretches have refused it.”

“The worst situation. I expect to be sold any moment now. We might be out on the streets tomorrow. I can't tell the kids; they're so happy, poor things. I’ll have to pull Jock out of school. And Phyllis will have to stop her piano and dance lessons; this is a total crisis. And it’s all because of those Midland Syndicate people. I was counting on at least two hundred for my new story, and those jerks have turned it down.”

With a tiny handkerchief she removed one tear from the corner of one eye. “It is hard, Guardy; I worked my brain silly over that story.”

With a small handkerchief, she wiped a tear from the corner of one eye. “It’s tough, Guardy; I really racked my brain over that story.”

From old Heythorp came a mutter which sounded suspiciously like:

From old Heythorp came a mumble that sounded suspiciously like:

“Rats!”

"Rats!"

Heaving a sigh, which conveyed nothing but the generosity of her breathing apparatus, Mrs. Larne went on:

Heaving a sigh that showed only the fullness of her breath, Mrs. Larne continued:

“You couldn't, I suppose, let me have just one hundred?”

“You wouldn't, I guess, let me have just one hundred?”

“Not a bob.”

“Not a cent.”

She sighed again, her eyes slid round the room; then in her warm voice she murmured:

She sighed again, her eyes scanned the room; then in her warm voice she murmured:

“Guardy, you were my dear Philip's father, weren't you? I've never said anything; but of course you were. He was so like you, and so is Jock.”

“Guardy, you were my dear Philip's dad, right? I've never mentioned it; but obviously you were. He looked so much like you, and so does Jock.”

Nothing moved in old Heythorp's face. No pagan image consulted with flowers and song and sacrifice could have returned less answer. Her dear Philip! She had led him the devil of a life, or he was a Dutchman! And what the deuce made her suddenly trot out the skeleton like this? But Mrs. Larne's eyes were still wandering.

Nothing changed on old Heythorp's face. No pagan statue surrounded by flowers, music, and sacrifice could have offered a less responsive expression. Her dear Philip! She had given him an incredibly tough time, or he must be a fool! And what on earth made her suddenly bring out the skeleton like this? But Mrs. Larne's eyes were still drifting around.

“What a lovely house! You know, I think you ought to help me, Guardy. Just imagine if your grandchildren were thrown out into the street!”

“What a beautiful house! You know, I think you should help me, Guardy. Just imagine if your grandkids were thrown out onto the street!”

The old man grinned. He was not going to deny his relationship—it was her look-out, not his. But neither was he going to let her rush him.

The old man smiled. He wasn't going to deny their relationship—it was her issue, not his. But he also wasn't going to let her push him.

“And they will be; you couldn't look on and see it. Do come to my rescue this once. You really might do something for them.”

“And they will be; you couldn't just stand by and watch it happen. Please help me out this one time. You could really make a difference for them.”

With a rumbling sigh he answered:

With a heavy sigh, he replied:

“Wait. Can't give you a penny now. Poor as a church mouse.”

“Hold on. I can’t give you a single dollar right now. I’m broke.”

“Oh! Guardy

“Oh! Guard”

“Fact.”

"Fact."

Mrs. Larne heaved one of her most buoyant sighs. She certainly did not believe him.

Mrs. Larne let out one of her biggest sighs. She definitely didn’t believe him.

“Well!” she said; “you'll be sorry when we come round one night and sing for pennies under your window. Wouldn't you like to see Phyllis? I left her in the hall. She's growing such a sweet gairl. Guardy just fifty!”

“Well!” she said; “you'll regret it when we come by one night and sing for change under your window. Wouldn't you want to see Phyllis? I left her in the hallway. She's turning into such a sweet girl. Just about five!”

“Not a rap.”

"Not a rap."

Mrs. Larne threw up her hands. “Well! You'll repent it. I'm at my last gasp.” She sighed profoundly, and the perfume of violets escaped in a cloud; Then, getting up, she went to the door and called: “Phyllis!”

Mrs. Larne threw up her hands. “Well! You'll regret it. I'm at my last breath.” She sighed deeply, and the scent of violets wafted in a cloud; then, standing up, she went to the door and called: “Phyllis!”

When the girl entered old Heythorp felt the nearest approach to a flutter of the heart for many years. She had put her hair up! She was like a spring day in January; such a relief from that scented humbug, her mother. Pleasant the touch of her lips on his forehead, the sound of her clear voice, the sight of her slim movements, the feeling that she did him credit—clean-run stock, she and that young scamp Jock—better than the holy woman, his daughter Adela, would produce if anyone were ever fool enough to marry her, or that pragmatical fellow, his son Ernest.

When the girl walked in, old Heythorp felt a hint of excitement in his heart for the first time in years. She had put her hair up! She was like a spring day in January; such a refreshing change from that sham of a woman, her mother. It felt nice to have her lips touch his forehead, to hear her clear voice, to see her graceful movements, and to feel proud of her—good lineage, she and that young troublemaker Jock—better than what the pious woman, his daughter Adela, would bring if anyone were ever foolish enough to marry her, or that practical guy, his son Ernest.

And when they were gone he reflected with added zest on the six thousand pounds he was getting for them out of Joe Pillin and his ships. He would have to pitch it strong in his speech at the general meeting. With freights so low, there was bound to be opposition. No dash nowadays; nothing but gabby caution! They were a scrim-shanking lot on the Board—he had had to pull them round one by one—the deuce of a tug getting this thing through! And yet, the business was sound enough. Those ships would earn money, properly handled-good money.

And after they left, he thought with renewed excitement about the six thousand pounds he was getting from Joe Pillin and his ships. He would need to emphasize this in his speech at the general meeting. With freight rates so low, there was sure to be pushback. No bold moves these days; just endless talking and caution! The people on the Board were pretty timid—he had to convince them one by one—it was a real struggle getting this approved! Yet, the business was solid enough. Those ships would make a profit if managed properly—good profits.

His valet, coming in to prepare him for dinner, found him asleep. He had for the old man as much admiration as may be felt for one who cannot put his own trousers on. He would say to the housemaid Molly: “He's a game old blighter—must have been a rare one in his day. Cocks his hat at you, even now, I see!” To which the girl, Irish and pretty, would reply: “Well, an' sure I don't mind, if it gives um a pleasure. 'Tis better anyway than the sad eye I get from herself.”

His valet came in to get him ready for dinner and found him asleep. He had as much admiration for the old man as one can have for someone who can't put on their own pants. He would say to the housemaid Molly, "He's a tough old guy—he must have been something special in his day. He still tips his hat at you, even now!" To which the Irish girl, pretty as she was, would reply, "Well, I don’t mind if it makes him happy. It's better than the sad look I get from her."

At dinner, old Heythorp always sat at one end of the rosewood table and his daughter at the other. It was the eminent moment of the day. With napkin tucked high into his waistcoat, he gave himself to the meal with passion. His palate was undimmed, his digestion unimpaired. He could still eat as much as two men, and drink more than one. And while he savoured each mouthful he never spoke if he could help it. The holy woman had nothing to say that he cared to hear, and he nothing to say that she cared to listen to. She had a horror, too, of what she called “the pleasures of the table”—those lusts of the flesh! She was always longing to dock his grub, he knew. Would see her further first! What other pleasures were there at his age? Let her wait till she was eighty. But she never would be; too thin and holy!

At dinner, old Heythorp always sat at one end of the rosewood table and his daughter at the other. It was the highlight of the day. With his napkin tucked high into his waistcoat, he approached the meal with enthusiasm. His taste buds were still sharp, and his digestion was just fine. He could still eat as much as two men and drink more than one. While he savored each bite, he never spoke if he could avoid it. The holy woman had nothing to say that interested him, and he had nothing to say that she wanted to hear. She also had a strong aversion to what she called “the pleasures of the table”—those bodily desires! She was always eager to cut down his food, he knew. He’d see her try harder! What other pleasures were there at his age? Let her wait until she was eighty. But she never would be; too thin and pious!

This evening, however, with the advent of the partridge she did speak.

This evening, though, with the arrival of the partridge, she did speak.

“Who were your visitors, Father?”

"Who were your visitors, Dad?"

Trust her for nosing anything out! Fixing his little blue eyes on her, he mumbled with a very full mouth: “Ladies.”

Trust her to sniff anything out! Fixing his little blue eyes on her, he mumbled with a mouth full of food: “Ladies.”

“So I saw; what ladies?”

"So I saw; which ladies?"

He had a longing to say: 'Part of one of my families under the rose.' As a fact it was the best part of the only one, but the temptation to multiply exceedingly was almost overpowering. He checked himself, however, and went on eating partridge, his secret irritation crimsoning his cheeks; and he watched her eyes, those cold precise and round grey eyes, noting it, and knew she was thinking: 'He eats too much.'

He really wanted to say, "I'm part of one of my families, just between us." Honestly, it was the best part of the only family he had, but the urge to complicate things was really strong. He held back, though, and continued eating partridge, feeling a secret irritation flushing his cheeks; he observed her eyes, those cold, sharp, round gray eyes, noticing his discomfort, and he knew she was thinking, "He eats too much."

She said: “Sorry I'm not considered fit to be told. You ought not to be drinking hock.”

She said, “Sorry, I’m not considered fit to be spoken to. You shouldn’t be drinking hock.”

Old Heythorp took up the long green glass, drained it, and repressing fumes and emotion went on with his partridge. His daughter pursed her lips, took a sip of water, and said:

Old Heythorp picked up the long green glass, finished it off, and, holding back his feelings and the effects of the drink, continued with his partridge. His daughter pressed her lips together, took a sip of water, and said:

“I know their name is Larne, but it conveyed nothing to me; perhaps it's just as well.”

“I know their name is Larne, but it doesn’t mean anything to me; maybe that’s for the best.”

The old man, mastering a spasm, said with a grin:

The old man, managing a spasm, said with a grin:

“My daughter-in-law and my granddaughter.”

"My daughter-in-law and granddaughter."

“What! Ernest married—Oh! nonsense!”

“What! Ernest got married—Oh! nonsense!”

He chuckled, and shook his head.

He laughed and shook his head.

“Then do you mean to say, Father, that you were married before you married my mother?”

“Are you saying, Dad, that you were married before you married my mom?”

“No.”

“No.”

The expression on her face was as good as a play!

The expression on her face was like a performance!

She said with a sort of disgust: “Not married! I see. I suppose those people are hanging round your neck, then; no wonder you're always in difficulties. Are there any more of them?”

She said with a hint of disgust: “Not married! I see. I guess those people are weighing you down, then; no wonder you're always in trouble. Are there more of them?”

Again the old man suppressed that spasm, and the veins in his neck and forehead swelled alarmingly. If he had spoken he would infallibly have choked. He ceased eating, and putting his hands on the table tried to raise himself. He could not and subsiding in his chair sat glaring at the stiff, quiet figure of his daughter.

Again the old man held back the spasm, and the veins in his neck and forehead bulged alarmingly. If he had spoken, he would have definitely choked. He stopped eating, and with his hands on the table, he tried to lift himself up. He couldn't, and sinking back into his chair, he sat staring intensely at the stiff, quiet figure of his daughter.

“Don't be silly, Father, and make a scene before Meller. Finish your dinner.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Dad, and cause a scene in front of Meller. Just finish your dinner.”

He did not answer. He was not going to sit there to be dragooned and insulted! His helplessness had never so weighed on him before. It was like a revelation. A log—that had to put up with anything! A log! And, waiting for his valet to return, he cunningly took up his fork.

He didn’t respond. He wasn’t about to sit there and be bullied and insulted! His helplessness had never felt so heavy before. It was like a realization. A log—that just had to endure everything! A log! And while he waited for his valet to come back, he slyly picked up his fork.

In that saintly voice of hers she said:

In her angelic voice, she said:

“I suppose you don't realise that it's a shock to me. I don't know what Ernest will think—”

“I guess you don't understand that this is a shock for me. I have no idea what Ernest will think—”

“Ernest be d—-d.”

“Ernest can go to hell.”

“I do wish, Father, you wouldn't swear.”

“I really wish you wouldn't curse, Dad.”

Old Heythorp's rage found vent in a sort of rumble. How the devil had he gone on all these years in the same house with that woman, dining with her day after day! But the servant had come back now, and putting down his fork he said:

Old Heythorp's anger came out as a low growl. How the hell had he spent all these years in the same house with that woman, eating with her day after day! But the servant had returned now, and putting down his fork he said:

“Help me up!”

"Help me up!"

The man paused, thunderstruck, with the souffle balanced. To leave dinner unfinished—it was a portent!

The man paused, stunned, with the souffle balanced. Leaving dinner unfinished—it was an omen!

“Help me up!”

"Help me up!"

“Mr. Heythorp's not very well, Meller; take his other arm.”

“Mr. Heythorp isn't feeling well, Meller; take his other arm.”

The old man shook off her hand.

The old man pulled his hand away from her.

“I'm very well. Help me up. Dine in my own room in future.”

“I'm doing great. Help me up. Let's eat in my own room from now on.”

Raised to his feet, he walked slowly out; but in his sanctum he did not sit down, obsessed by this first overwhelming realisation of his helplessness. He stood swaying a little, holding on to the table, till the servant, having finished serving dinner, brought in his port.

Raised to his feet, he walked slowly out; but in his private space, he didn’t sit down, consumed by this initial overwhelming realization of his helplessness. He stood swaying a little, holding onto the table, until the servant, having finished serving dinner, brought in his port.

“Are you waiting to sit down, sir?”

“Are you waiting to take a seat, sir?”

He shook his head. Hang it, he could do that for himself, anyway. He must think of something to fortify his position against that woman. And he said:

He shook his head. Dang it, he could handle that on his own, anyway. He needed to come up with something to strengthen his stance against that woman. And he said:

“Send me Molly!”

"Send me Molly!"

“Yes, sir.” The man put down the port and went.

“Yes, sir.” The man set down the port and left.

Old Heythorp filled his glass, drank, and filled again. He took a cigar from the box and lighted it. The girl came in, a grey-eyed, dark-haired damsel, and stood with her hands folded, her head a little to one side, her lips a little parted. The old man said:

Old Heythorp filled his glass, took a drink, and filled it again. He grabbed a cigar from the box and lit it. The girl entered, a grey-eyed, dark-haired young woman, and stood with her hands folded, her head tilted slightly to one side, her lips slightly parted. The old man said:

“You're a human being.”

"You're a person."

“I would hope so, sirr.”

"I hope so, sir."

“I'm going to ask you something as a human being—not a servant—see?”

“I'm going to ask you something as a person—not as someone who works for you—got it?”

“No, sirr; but I will be glad to do anything you like.”

“No, sir; but I’m happy to do whatever you need.”

“Then put your nose in here every now and then, to see if I want anything. Meller goes out sometimes. Don't say anything; Just put your nose in.”

“Then check in here every now and then to see if I need anything. Meller goes out sometimes. Don’t say anything; just take a look.”

“Oh! an' I will; 'tis a pleasure 'twill be to do ut.”

“Oh! I will; it will be a pleasure to do it.”

He nodded, and when she had gone lowered himself into his chair with a sense of appeasement. Pretty girl! Comfort to see a pretty face—not a pale, peeky thing like Adela's. His anger burned up anew. So she counted on his helplessness, had begun to count on that, had she? She should see that there was life in the old dog yet! And his sacrifice of the uneaten souffle, the still less eaten mushrooms, the peppermint sweet with which he usually concluded dinner, seemed to consecrate that purpose. They all thought he was a hulk, without a shot left in the locker! He had seen a couple of them at the Board that afternoon shrugging at each other, as though saying: 'Look at him!' And young Farney pitying him. Pity, forsooth! And that coarse-grained solicitor chap at the creditors' meeting curling his lip as much as to say: 'One foot in the grave!' He had seen the clerks dowsing the glim of their grins; and that young pup Bob Pillin screwing up his supercilious mug over his dog-collar. He knew that scented humbug Rosamund was getting scared that he'd drop off before she'd squeezed him dry. And his valet was always looking him up and down queerly. As to that holy woman—! Not quite so fast! Not quite so fast! And filling his glass for the fourth time, he slowly sucked down the dark red fluid, with the “old boots” flavour which his soul loved, and, drawing deep at his cigar, closed his eyes.

He nodded, and after she left, settled into his chair with a feeling of relief. Pretty girl! It was nice to see a pretty face—not one that was pale and sickly like Adela's. His anger flared up again. So she was counting on his weakness, had started to rely on that, huh? She should realize there was still life in the old dog! And his sacrifice of the untouched souffle, the even less touched mushrooms, and the peppermint candy he usually had after dinner felt like it solidified that resolve. They all thought he was just a big guy, with nothing left in him! He had seen a couple of them at the Board that afternoon exchanging glances, as if to say: ‘Look at him!’ And young Farney feeling sorry for him. Pity, really! And that rough solicitor at the creditors' meeting sneering as if to say: 'One foot in the grave!' He noticed the clerks trying to hide their smirks; and that young punk Bob Pillin making a face over his dog-collar. He knew that fake sweet Rosamund was getting anxious that he’d kick the bucket before she could get everything out of him. And his valet was always giving him strange looks. As for that saintly woman—! Not so fast! Not so fast! Filling his glass for the fourth time, he slowly drank the dark red liquid, with the “old boots” flavor that he loved, and, taking a deep puff on his cigar, closed his eyes.





II

1

The room in the hotel where the general meetings of “The Island Navigation Company” were held was nearly full when the secretary came through the door which as yet divided the shareholders from their directors. Having surveyed their empty chairs, their ink and papers, and nodded to a shareholder or two, he stood, watch in hand, contemplating the congregation. A thicker attendance than he had ever seen! Due, no doubt, to the lower dividend, and this Pillin business. And his tongue curled. For if he had a natural contempt for his Board, with the exception of the chairman, he had a still more natural contempt for his shareholders. Amusing spectacle when you came to think of it, a general meeting! Unique! Eighty or a hundred men, and five women, assembled through sheer devotion to their money. Was any other function in the world so single-hearted. Church was nothing to it—so many motives were mingled there with devotion to one's soul. A well-educated young man—reader of Anatole France, and other writers—he enjoyed ironic speculation. What earthly good did they think they got by coming here? Half-past two! He put his watch back into his pocket, and passed into the Board-room.

The hotel room where the general meetings of “The Island Navigation Company” took place was almost full when the secretary walked in through the door that separated the shareholders from their directors. After glancing over the empty chairs, ink, and papers, and nodding at a couple of shareholders, he stood there, watch in hand, observing the crowd. There were more people than he’d ever seen! Probably because of the lower dividend and the whole Pillin situation. His tongue curled at the thought. While he naturally looked down on his Board—except for the chairman—he had an even greater disdain for the shareholders. What a comical scene a general meeting was! Completely unique! Eighty or a hundred men and five women gathered together out of sheer loyalty to their money. Was there anything else in the world so purely focused? Church paled in comparison—so many different motives mixed in with devotion to one’s soul. As a well-educated young man—familiar with Anatole France and other authors—he found ironic amusement in the situation. What did they think they gained by being here? It was half-past two! He put his watch back in his pocket and walked into the Board room.

There, the fumes of lunch and of a short preliminary meeting made cosy the February atmosphere. By the fire four directors were conversing rather restlessly; the fifth was combing his beard; the chairman sat with eyes closed and red lips moving rhythmically in the sucking of a lozenge, the slips of his speech ready in his hand. The secretary said in his cheerful voice: “Time, sir.”

There, the lunch smells and a quick preliminary meeting created a cozy February vibe. By the fire, four directors were chatting a bit anxiously; the fifth was grooming his beard; the chairman sat with his eyes closed, his red lips moving rhythmically as he sucked on a lozenge, his speech notes ready in his hand. The secretary said in a cheerful tone, “Time, sir.”

Old Heythorp swallowed, lifted his arms, rose with help, and walked through to his place at the centre of the table. The five directors followed. And, standing at the chairman's right, the secretary read the minutes, forming the words precisely with his curling tongue. Then, assisting the chairman to his feet, he watched those rows of faces, and thought: 'Mistake to let them see he can't get up without help. He ought to have let me read his speech—I wrote it.'

Old Heythorp swallowed, raised his arms, got up with some assistance, and walked to his spot at the center of the table. The five directors followed him. Standing to the chairman's right, the secretary read the minutes, articulating the words carefully with his curling tongue. Then, as he helped the chairman to his feet, he looked at the rows of faces and thought, 'It's a mistake to let them see he can't get up without help. He should have let me read his speech—I wrote it.'

The chairman began to speak:

The chairperson started to speak:

“It is my duty and my pleasure,' ladies and gentlemen, for the nineteenth consecutive year to present to you the directors' report and the accounts for the past twelve months. You will all have had special notice of a measure of policy on which your Board has decided, and to which you will be asked to-day to give your adherence—to that I shall come at the end of my remarks....”

“It is my duty and my pleasure," ladies and gentlemen, for the nineteenth year in a row to present to you the directors' report and the accounts for the past twelve months. You all will have received special notice of a policy measure that your Board has decided on, and you will be asked today to show your support for it—I'll address that at the end of my comments....”

“Excuse me, sir; we can't hear a word down here.”

“Excuse me, sir; we can’t hear anything down here.”

'Ah!' thought the secretary, 'I was expecting that.'

'Ah!' thought the secretary, 'I saw that coming.'

The chairman went on, undisturbed. But several shareholders now rose, and the same speaker said testily: “We might as well go home. If the chairman's got no voice, can't somebody read for him?”

The chairman continued without a care. But several shareholders stood up, and the same speaker said irritably, “We might as well leave. If the chairman can’t speak, can’t someone read for him?”

The chairman took a sip of water, and resumed. Almost all in the last six rows were now on their feet, and amid a hubbub of murmurs the chairman held out to the secretary the slips of his speech, and fell heavily back into his chair.

The chairman took a sip of water and continued. Almost everyone in the last six rows was now standing, and amid a buzz of whispers, the chairman handed the slips of his speech to the secretary and slumped heavily back into his chair.

The secretary re-read from the beginning; and as each sentence fell from his tongue, he thought: 'How good that is!' 'That's very clear!' 'A neat touch!' 'This is getting them.' It seemed to him a pity they could not know it was all his composition. When at last he came to the Pillin sale he paused for a second.

The secretary read through it again from the start, and with each sentence he spoke, he thought, 'That sounds great!' 'That’s really clear!' 'What a nice touch!' 'This is impressing them.' He wished they could know that he had written it all himself. When he finally reached the Pillin sale, he paused for a moment.

“I come now to the measure of policy to which I made allusion at the beginning of my speech. Your Board has decided to expand your enterprise by purchasing the entire fleet of Pillin & Co., Ltd. By this transaction we become the owners of the four steamships Smyrna, Damascus, Tyre, and Sidon, vessels in prime condition with a total freight-carrying capacity of fifteen thousand tons, at the low inclusive price of sixty thousand pounds. Gentlemen, de l'audace, toujours de l'audace!”—it was the chairman's phrase, his bit of the speech, and the secretary did it more than justice. “Times are bad, but your Board is emphatically of the opinion that they are touching bottom; and this, in their view, is the psychological moment for a forward stroke. They confidently recommend your adoption of their policy and the ratification of this purchase, which they believe will, in the not far distant future, substantially increase the profits of the Company.” The secretary sat down with reluctance. The speech should have continued with a number of appealing sentences which he had carefully prepared, but the chairman had cut them out with the simple comment: “They ought to be glad of the chance.” It was, in his view, an error.

“I now want to discuss the policy measure I hinted at at the beginning of my speech. Your Board has decided to grow your business by buying the entire fleet of Pillin & Co., Ltd. With this deal, we become the owners of the four steamships Smyrna, Damascus, Tyre, and Sidon—ships in great condition with a total freight capacity of fifteen thousand tons, all for the low price of sixty thousand pounds. Gentlemen, 'audacity, always audacity!'—that was the chairman's catchphrase, a part of the speech, and the secretary delivered it very well. 'Times are tough, but your Board firmly believes they're at rock bottom; this, in their opinion, is the right moment to make a bold move. They strongly recommend that you approve their policy and ratify this purchase, which they believe will significantly boost the Company’s profits in the not-so-distant future.' The secretary sat down reluctantly. The speech should have included several persuasive sentences that he had thoughtfully prepared, but the chairman had removed them with the simple comment: 'They ought to be glad of the chance.' He thought this was a misstep.”

The director who had combed his beard now rose—a man of presence, who might be trusted to say nothing long and suavely. While he was speaking the secretary was busy noting whence opposition was likely to come. The majority were sitting owl-like-a good sign; but some dozen were studying their copies of the report, and three at least were making notes—Westgate, for, instance, who wanted to get on the Board, and was sure to make himself unpleasant—the time-honoured method of vinegar; and Batterson, who also desired to come on, and might be trusted to support the Board—the time-honoured method of oil; while, if one knew anything of human nature, the fellow who had complained that he might as well go home would have something uncomfortable to say. The director finished his remarks, combed his beard with his fingers, and sat down.

The director, who had groomed his beard, stood up—he was a commanding presence, someone who could be counted on to speak briefly and smoothly. While he talked, the secretary was busy figuring out where opposition might arise. The majority of people were sitting quietly—always a good sign—but about a dozen were focused on their copies of the report, and at least three were taking notes. For instance, Westgate, who wanted to join the Board and was bound to be difficult—the traditional vinegar approach; and Batterson, who also wanted to come on board and could be relied upon to back the Board—the classic oil approach. Additionally, if you knew anything about human nature, the guy who had grumbled that he might as well go home would likely have something unpleasant to contribute. The director wrapped up his comments, groomed his beard with his fingers, and sat down.

A momentary pause ensued. Then Messieurs Westgate and Batterson rose together. Seeing the chairman nod towards the latter, the secretary thought: 'Mistake! He should have humoured Westgate by giving him precedence.' But that was the worst of the old man, he had no notion of the suaviter in modo! Mr. Batterson thus unchained—would like, if he might be so allowed, to congratulate the Board on having piloted their ship so smoothly through the troublous waters of the past year. With their worthy chairman still at the helm, he had no doubt that in spite of the still low—he would not say falling—barometer, and the-er-unseasonable climacteric, they might rely on weathering the—er—he would not say storm. He would confess that the present dividend of four per cent. was not one which satisfied every aspiration (Hear, hear!), but speaking for himself, and he hoped for others—and here Mr. Batterson looked round—he recognised that in all the circumstances it was as much as they had the right—er—to expect. But following the bold but to his mind prudent development which the Board proposed to make, he thought that they might reasonably, if not sanguinely, anticipate a more golden future. (“No, no!”) A shareholder said, 'No, no!' That might seem to indicate a certain lack of confidence in the special proposal before the meeting. (“Yes!”) From that lack of confidence he would like at once to dissociate himself. Their chairman, a man of foresight and acumen, and valour proved on many a field and—er—sea, would not have committed himself to this policy without good reason. In his opinion they were in safe hands, and he was glad to register his support of the measure proposed. The chairman had well said in his speech: 'de l'audace, toujours de l'audace!' Shareholders would agree with him that there could be no better motto for Englishmen. Ahem!

A brief pause followed. Then Messrs. Westgate and Batterson stood up together. Noticing the chairman nod towards Batterson, the secretary thought, 'Mistake! He should have given Westgate the priority.' But that was the downside of the old man; he had no idea about being tactful! Mr. Batterson, now free to speak, would like to congratulate the Board for steering their ship smoothly through the rough waters of the past year. With their respected chairman still at the helm, he was confident that despite the still low—he wouldn’t say falling—barometer, and the slightly unfortunate situation, they could expect to weather the—he wouldn’t say storm. He admitted that the current dividend of four percent didn’t meet everyone’s hopes (Hear, hear!), but speaking for himself, and he hoped for others—and here Mr. Batterson glanced around—he accepted that, given the circumstances, it was about as much as they could rightfully expect. However, following the bold yet, in his view, wise development the Board planned to undertake, he believed they might reasonably, if not optimistically, look forward to a more prosperous future. (“No, no!”) A shareholder called out, 'No, no!' This might indicate some lack of confidence in the specific proposal on the table. (“Yes!”) He would like to immediately distance himself from that lack of confidence. Their chairman, a man of vision and skill, and courage proven in many battles both on land and—er—at sea, would not have committed to this policy without good reason. In his view, they were in safe hands, and he was pleased to show his support for the suggested measure. The chairman had rightly stated in his speech: 'daring, always daring!' Shareholders would agree that there could be no better motto for Englishmen. Ahem!

Mr. Batterson sat down. And Mr. Westgate rose: He wanted—he said—to know more, much more, about this proposition, which to his mind was of a very dubious wisdom.... 'Ah!' thought the secretary, 'I told the old boy he must tell them more'.... To whom, for instance, had the proposal first been made? To him!—the chairman said. Good! But why were Pillins selling, if freights were to go up, as they were told?

Mr. Batterson sat down. And Mr. Westgate stood up: He wanted—he said—to know more, a lot more, about this proposal, which he thought was very questionable... 'Ah!' thought the secretary, 'I told the old guy he needed to explain more'... Like, who was the proposal first made to? To him!—the chairman said. Great! But why were Pillins selling, if the freight rates were supposed to go up, as they had been told?

“Matter of opinion.”

"Subjective viewpoint."

“Quite so; and in my opinion they are going lower, and Pillins were right to sell. It follows that we are wrong to buy.” (“Hear, hear!” “No, no!”) “Pillins are shrewd people. What does the chairman say? Nerves! Does he mean to tell us that this sale was the result of nerves?”

“Exactly; and I think they're going to drop even more, so Pillins made a smart choice selling. That means we’re making a mistake by buying.” (“Hear, hear!” “No, no!”) “Pillins are savvy people. What does the chairman say? Nerves! Is he really saying that this sale happened because of nerves?”

The chairman nodded.

The chairperson nodded.

“That appears to me a somewhat fantastic theory; but I will leave that and confine myself to asking the grounds on which the chairman bases his confidence; in fact, what it is which is actuating the Board in pressing on us at such a time what I have no hesitation in stigmatising as a rash proposal. In a word, I want light as well as leading in this matter.”

"That seems to me like a pretty far-fetched theory; but I’ll set that aside and just ask what the chairman is relying on for his confidence. What is motivating the Board to push this risky proposal on us at such a time? In short, I want clarity as well as guidance in this situation."

Mr. Westgate sat down.

Mr. Westgate took a seat.

What would the chairman do now? The situation was distinctly awkward—seeing his helplessness and the lukewarmness of the Board behind him. And the secretary felt more strongly than ever the absurdity of his being an underling, he who in a few well-chosen words could so easily have twisted the meeting round his thumb. Suddenly he heard the long, rumbling sigh which preluded the chairman's speeches.

What was the chairman going to do now? The situation was really uncomfortable—seeing his helplessness and the lack of support from the Board behind him. And the secretary felt more than ever how ridiculous it was for him to be in a subordinate position, when with just a few carefully chosen words he could easily have taken control of the meeting. Then he suddenly heard the long, rumbling sigh that signaled the chairman's speeches.

“Has any other gentleman anything to say before I move the adoption of the report?”

“Does anyone else have something to say before I propose we accept the report?”

Phew! That would put their backs up. Yes, sure enough it had brought that fellow, who had said he might as well go home, to his feet! Now for something nasty!

Phew! That would really rile them up. Yeah, sure enough, it had gotten that guy, who said he might as well head home, on his feet! Now for something unpleasant!

“Mr. Westgate requires answering. I don't like this business. I don't impute anything to anybody; but it looks to me as if there were something behind it which the shareholders ought to be told. Not only that; but, to speak frankly, I'm not satisfied to be ridden over roughshod in this fashion by one who, whatever he may have been in the past, is obviously not now in the prime of his faculties.”

“Mr. Westgate needs to be answered. I’m not comfortable with this situation. I’m not blaming anyone; but it seems to me there’s something going on that the shareholders should know about. Not only that, but honestly, I’m not okay with being treated this way by someone who, no matter what he might have been in the past, is clearly not at his best right now.”

With a gasp the secretary thought: 'I knew that was a plain-spoken man!'

With a gasp, the secretary thought, "I knew he was a straightforward guy!"

He heard again the rumbling beside him. The chairman had gone crimson, his mouth was pursed, his little eyes were very blue.

He heard the rumbling next to him again. The chairman had turned red, his mouth was tight, and his small eyes were a bright blue.

“Help me up,” he said.

“Help me up,” he said.

The secretary helped him, and waited, rather breathless.

The secretary assisted him and waited, feeling a bit breathless.

The chairman took a sip of water, and his voice, unexpectedly loud, broke an ominous hush:

The chairman took a sip of water, and his voice, surprisingly loud, shattered an uneasy silence:

“Never been so insulted in my life. My best services have been at your disposal for nineteen years; you know what measure of success this Company has attained. I am the oldest man here, and my experience of shipping is, I hope, a little greater than that of the two gentlemen who spoke last. I have done my best for you, ladies and gentlemen, and we shall see whether you are going to endorse an indictment of my judgment and of my honour, if I am to take the last speaker seriously. This purchase is for your good. 'There is a tide in the affairs of men'—and I for one am not content, never have been, to stagnate. If that is what you want, however, by all means give your support to these gentlemen and have done with it. I tell you freights will go up before the end of the year; the purchase is a sound one, more than a sound one—I, at any rate, stand or fall by it. Refuse to ratify it, if you like; if you do, I shall resign.”

“Never been so insulted in my life. I've dedicated my best efforts to you for nineteen years; you know the level of success this Company has achieved. I'm the oldest person here, and I hope my shipping experience is a bit more than the two gentlemen who spoke before me. I've done my best for you all, and we'll see if you're really going to question my judgment and honor, if I’m to take the last speaker seriously. This purchase is for your benefit. 'There is a tide in the affairs of men'—and I, for one, have never been satisfied to just stand still. But if that’s what you want, go ahead and support these gentlemen and be done with it. I’m telling you, freight prices are going to rise before the end of the year; this purchase is a solid one—not just solid, I stand by it, no matter what. Feel free to reject it; if you do, I will resign.”

He sank back into his seat. The secretary, stealing a glance, thought with a sort of enthusiasm: 'Bravo! Who'd have thought he could rally his voice like that? A good touch, too, that about his honour! I believe he's knocked them.

He sank back into his seat. The secretary, sneaking a look, thought with a kind of excitement: 'Bravo! Who would have guessed he could rally his voice like that? That bit about his honor was a nice touch, too! I think he’s got them.’

It's still dicky, though, if that fellow at the back gets up again; the old chap can't work that stop a second time. 'Ah! here was 'old Apple-pie' on his hind legs. That was all right!

It's still tricky, though, if that guy in the back gets up again; the old man can't handle that stop a second time. 'Ah! there was 'old Apple-pie' on his hind legs. That was fine!

“I do not hesitate to say that I am an old friend of the chairman; we are, many of us, old friends of the chairman, and it has been painful to me, and I doubt not to others, to hear an attack made on him. If he is old in body, he is young in mental vigour and courage. I wish we were all as young. We ought to stand by him; I say, we ought to stand by him.” (“Hear, hear! Hear, hear!”) And the secretary thought: 'That's done it!' And he felt a sudden odd emotion, watching the chairman bobbing his body, like a wooden toy, at old Appleby; and old Appleby bobbing back. Then, seeing a shareholder close to the door get up, thought: 'Who's that? I know his face—Ah! yes; Ventnor, the solicitor—he's one of the chairman's creditors that are coming again this afternoon. What now?'

“I’m not afraid to say that I’m an old friend of the chairman; many of us are old friends of his, and it’s been difficult for me—and I’m sure for others—to hear someone attack him. If he’s old in body, he’s young in spirit and courage. I wish we were all as young. We should support him; I mean it, we should support him.” (“Hear, hear! Hear, hear!”) And the secretary thought: 'That’s settled it!' He felt a sudden strange emotion as he watched the chairman bobbing his body, like a wooden toy, at old Appleby; and old Appleby bobbing back. Then, noticing a shareholder near the door getting up, he thought: 'Who’s that? I recognize his face—Ah! yes; Ventnor, the solicitor—he’s one of the chairman’s creditors who’s coming back this afternoon. What now?'

“I can't agree that we ought to let sentiment interfere with our judgment in this matter. The question is simply: How are our pockets going to be affected? I came here with some misgivings, but the attitude of the chairman has been such as to remove them; and I shall support the proposition.” The secretary thought: 'That's all right—only, he said it rather queerly—rather queerly.'

“I can’t agree that we should let feelings get in the way of our judgment on this issue. The question is straightforward: How will this impact our finances? I came here with some doubts, but the chairman's attitude has eased them, and I will support the proposal.” The secretary thought: 'That’s fine—just, he said it in a pretty strange way—pretty strange.'

Then, after a long silence, the chairman, without rising, said:

Then, after a long silence, the chairman, staying seated, said:

“I move the adoption of the report and accounts.”

“I propose we adopt the report and accounts.”

“I second that.”

“Same here.”

“Those in favour signify the same in the usual way. Contrary? Carried.” The secretary noted the dissentients, six in number, and that Mr. Westgate did not vote.

“Those in favor, please indicate as usual. Opposed? Motion carried.” The secretary recorded the dissenters, totaling six, and noted that Mr. Westgate did not cast a vote.

A quarter of an hour later he stood in the body of the emptying room supplying names to one of the gentlemen of the Press. The passionless fellow said: “Haythorp, with an 'a'. oh! an 'e'. he seems an old man. Thank you. I may have the slips? Would you like to see a proof? With an 'a' you said—oh! an 'e.' Good afternoon!” And the secretary thought: 'Those fellows, what does go on inside them? Fancy not knowing the old chairman by now!'...

A quarter of an hour later, he stood in the emptying room, providing names to one of the press guys. The indifferent guy said, “Haythorp, with an 'a'—oh, an 'e.' He seems like an old man. Thanks. Can I get the slips? Do you want to see a proof? With an 'a,' you said—oh, an 'e.' Good afternoon!” And the secretary thought, 'What’s going on in their heads? Can you believe they still don’t recognize the old chairman?'...





2

Back in the proper office of “The Island Navigation Company” old Heythorp sat smoking a cigar and smiling like a purring cat. He was dreaming a little of his triumph, sifting with his old brain, still subtle, the wheat from the chaff of the demurrers: Westgate—nothing in that—professional discontent till they silenced him with a place on the board—but not while he held the reins! That chap at the back—an ill-conditioned fellow! “Something behind!” Suspicious brute! There was something—but—hang it! they might think themselves lucky to get four ships at that price, and all due to him! It was on the last speaker that his mind dwelt with a doubt. That fellow Ventnor, to whom he owed money—there had been something just a little queer about his tone—as much as to say, “I smell a rat.” Well! one would see that at the creditors' meeting in half an hour.

Back in the main office of “The Island Navigation Company,” old Heythorp sat smoking a cigar and grinning like a content cat. He was basking in his triumph, sifting through the objections with his still-sharp mind, separating the wheat from the chaff: Westgate—nothing there—just some professional discontent until they shut him up with a spot on the board—but not while he was in charge! That guy in the back—he was a real piece of work! “Something's up!” Suspicious jerk! There was something, but—dang it!—they should consider themselves lucky to get four ships at that price, and all thanks to him! His mind lingered on the last speaker with some doubt. That guy Ventnor, to whom he owed money—there had been something a bit off about his tone, almost as if he was saying, “I smell something fishy.” Well! We’d find out at the creditors' meeting in half an hour.

“Mr. Pillin, sir.”

"Mr. Pillin."

“Show him in!”

“Let him in!”

In a fur coat which seemed to extinguish his thin form, Joe Pillin entered. It was snowing, and the cold had nipped and yellowed his meagre face between its slight grey whiskering. He said thinly:

In a fur coat that seemed to swallow his thin figure, Joe Pillin entered. It was snowing, and the cold had pinched and yellowed his gaunt face, which had a bit of grey whiskers. He said weakly:

“How are you, Sylvanus? Aren't you perished in this cold?”

“How are you, Sylvanus? Aren't you freezing in this cold?”

“Warm as a toast. Sit down. Take off your coat.”

“Warm as toast. Have a seat. Take off your coat.”

“Oh! I should be lost without it. You must have a fire inside you. So-so it's gone through?”

“Oh! I'd be lost without it. You have to have a fire inside you. So, is it gone through?”

Old Heythorp nodded; and Joe Pillin, wandering like a spirit, scrutinised the shut door. He came back to the table, and said in a low voice:

Old Heythorp nodded, and Joe Pillin, drifting like a ghost, examined the closed door. He returned to the table and said quietly:

“It's a great sacrifice.”

“It’s a big sacrifice.”

Old Heythorp smiled.

Old Heythorp grinned.

“Have you signed the deed poll?”

“Have you signed the deed poll?”

Producing a parchment from his pocket Joe Pillin unfolded it with caution to disclose his signature, and said:

Producing a piece of parchment from his pocket, Joe Pillin carefully unfolded it to reveal his signature and said:

“I don't like it—it's irrevocable.”

“I don’t like it—it’s permanent.”

A chuckle escaped old Heythorp.

Old Heythorp chuckled.

“As death.”

"As if dead."

Joe Pillin's voice passed up into the treble clef.

Joe Pillin's voice rose into a higher pitch.

“I can't bear irrevocable things. I consider you stampeded me, playing on my nerves.”

“I can't handle things that can't be changed. I feel like you overwhelmed me, messing with my emotions.”

Examining the signatures old Heythorp murmured:

Examining the signatures, old Heythorp whispered:

“Tell your lawyer to lock it up. He must think you a sad dog, Joe.”

“Tell your lawyer to keep it under wraps. He must think you’re in a rough spot, Joe.”

“Ah! Suppose on my death it comes to the knowledge of my wife!”

“Ah! What if my wife finds out when I die?”

“She won't be able to make it hotter for you than you'll be already.”

“She won’t be able to make it any hotter for you than it already will be.”

Joe Pillin replaced the deed within his coat, emitting a queer thin noise. He simply could not bear joking on such subjects.

Joe Pillin put the deed back in his coat, making a strange thin sound. He just couldn't stand joking about things like that.

“Well,” he said, “you've got your way; you always do. Who is this Mrs. Larne? You oughtn't to keep me in the dark. It seems my boy met her at your house. You told me she didn't come there.”

“Well,” he said, “you always get your way. Who is this Mrs. Larne? You shouldn’t keep me in the dark. It seems my son met her at your house. You told me she didn’t come there.”

Old Heythorp said with relish:

Old Heythorp said with excitement:

“Her husband was my son by a woman I was fond of before I married; her children are my grandchildren. You've provided for them. Best thing you ever did.”

“Her husband is my son with a woman I cared about before I got married; her kids are my grandchildren. You've taken care of them. That's the best thing you've ever done.”

“I don't know—I don't know. I'm sorry you told me. It makes it all the more doubtful. As soon as the transfer's complete, I shall get away abroad. This cold's killing me. I wish you'd give me your recipe for keeping warm.”

“I don’t know—I don’t know. I wish you hadn’t told me. It just makes everything even more uncertain. As soon as the transfer is done, I’m heading abroad. This cold is really getting to me. I wish you’d share your tips for staying warm.”

“Get a new inside.”

“Get a new perspective.”

Joe Pillin regarded his old friend with a sort of yearning. “And yet,” he said, “I suppose, with your full-blooded habit, your life hangs by a thread, doesn't it?”

Joe Pillin looked at his old friend with a mix of nostalgia and longing. “And yet,” he said, “I guess with your intense lifestyle, your life hangs by a thread, right?”

“A stout one, my boy”

“A strong one, my boy”

“Well, good-bye, Sylvanus. You're a Job's comforter; I must be getting home.” He put on his hat, and, lost in his fur coat, passed out into the corridor. On the stairs he met a man who said:

“Well, goodbye, Sylvanus. You're really a comfort, aren't you? I should head home.” He put on his hat, and, bundled up in his fur coat, walked out into the hallway. On the stairs, he ran into a man who said:

“How do you do, Mr. Pillin? I know your son. Been' seeing the chairman? I see your sale's gone through all right. I hope that'll do us some good, but I suppose you think the other way?”

“How's it going, Mr. Pillin? I know your son. Have you met with the chairman? I see your sale went through fine. I hope that brings us some benefits, but I guess you think differently?”

Peering at him from under his hat, Joe Pillin said:

Peeking at him from beneath his hat, Joe Pillin said:

“Mr. Ventnor, I think? Thank you! It's very cold, isn't it?” And, with that cautious remark, he passed on down.

“Mr. Ventnor, right? Thanks! It’s really cold, isn’t it?” And with that careful comment, he continued on.

Alone again, old Heythorp thought: 'By George! What a wavering, quavering, thread paper of a fellow! What misery life must be to a chap like that! He walks in fear—he wallows in it. Poor devil!' And a curious feeling swelled his heart, of elation, of lightness such as he had not known for years. Those two young things were safe now from penury-safe! After dealing with those infernal creditors of his he would go round and have a look at the children. With a hundred and twenty a year the boy could go into the Army—best place for a young scamp like that. The girl would go off like hot cakes, of course, but she needn't take the first calf that came along. As for their mother, she must look after herself; nothing under two thousand a year would keep her out of debt. But trust her for wheedling and bluffing her way out of any scrape! Watching his cigar-smoke curl and disperse he was conscious of the strain he had been under these last six weeks, aware suddenly of how greatly he had baulked at thought of to-day's general meeting. Yes! It might have turned out nasty. He knew well enough the forces on the Board, and off, who would be only too glad to shelve him. If he were shelved here his other two Companies would be sure to follow suit, and bang would go every penny of his income—he would be a pauper dependant on that holy woman. Well! Safe now for another year if he could stave off these sharks once more. It might be a harder job this time, but he was in luck—in luck, and it must hold. And taking a luxurious pull at his cigar, he rang the handbell.

Alone again, old Heythorp thought: 'Wow! What a shaky, nervous guy! What a miserable life it must be for someone like him! He’s constantly anxious—he’s drowning in it. Poor guy!' And a strange feeling of happiness, a lightness he hadn’t felt in years swelled in his heart. Those two young ones were safe now from poverty—safe! After dealing with those awful creditors, he would go and check on the kids. With a hundred and twenty a year, the boy could join the Army—the best place for a young troublemaker like him. The girl would get snapped up quickly, of course, but she shouldn’t just settle for the first guy who comes along. As for their mother, she needed to fend for herself; nothing less than two thousand a year would keep her out of debt. But he knew she’d charm and bluff her way out of any situation! Watching his cigar smoke curl and disappear, he realized how stressed he had been these last six weeks, suddenly aware of how much he had dreaded today’s general meeting. Yes! It could have ended badly. He knew there were forces on and off the Board who would be all too eager to push him aside. If he got pushed out here, his other two companies would surely follow, and he would lose every penny of his income—he’d be a beggar dependent on that good woman. Well! Safe for another year now if he could fend off these sharks once more. It might be tougher this time, but he was lucky—lucky, and it had to last. And taking a deep drag from his cigar, he rang the handbell.

“Bring 'em in here, Mr. Farney. And let me have a cup of China tea as strong as you can make it.”

“Bring them in here, Mr. Farney. And please make me a cup of strong Chinese tea.”

“Yes, sir. Will you see the proof of the press report, or will you leave it to me?”

“Yes, sir. Will you take a look at the proof of the press report, or should I handle it myself?”

“To you.”

"Here’s to you."

“Yes, sir. It was a good meeting, wasn't it?”

“Yes, sir. It was a great meeting, wasn’t it?”

Old Heythorp nodded.

Old Heythorp agreed.

“Wonderful how your voice came back just at the right moment. I was afraid things were going to be difficult. The insult did it, I think. It was a monstrous thing to say. I could have punched his head.”

“It's amazing how your voice came back just at the right moment. I was worried things were going to get difficult. I think the insult did it. It was a terrible thing to say. I could have knocked him out.”

Again old Heythorp nodded; and, looking into the secretary's fine blue eyes, he repeated: “Bring 'em in.”

Again, old Heythorp nodded, and looking into the secretary's striking blue eyes, he said, "Bring them in."

The lonely minute before the entrance of his creditors passed in the thought: 'So that's how it struck him! Short shrift I should get if it came out.'

The lonely minute before his creditors arrived passed with the thought: 'So that's how it hit him! I'd be in big trouble if this got out.'

The gentlemen, who numbered ten this time, bowed to their debtor, evidently wondering why the deuce they troubled to be polite to an old man who kept them out of their money. Then, the secretary reappearing with a cup of China tea, they watched while their debtor drank it. The feat was tremulous. Would he get through without spilling it all down his front, or choking? To those unaccustomed to his private life it was slightly miraculous. He put the cup down empty, tremblingly removed some yellow drops from the little white tuft below his lip, refit his cigar, and said:

The ten gentlemen bowed to their debtor, clearly puzzled about why they were bothering to be polite to an old man who was holding onto their money. Then, the secretary came back with a cup of Chinese tea, and they watched as their debtor drank it. It was a shaky performance. Would he manage to finish it without spilling it all over himself or choking? For those unfamiliar with his personal life, it was somewhat miraculous. He set the empty cup down, nervously wiped some yellow drops from the little white spot below his lip, adjusted his cigar, and said:

“No use beating about the bush, gentlemen; I can offer you fourteen hundred a year so long as I live and hold my directorships, and not a penny more. If you can't accept that, you must make me bankrupt and get about sixpence in the pound. My qualifying shares will fetch a couple of thousand at market price. I own nothing else. The house I live in, and everything in it, barring my clothes, my wine, and my cigars, belong to my daughter under a settlement fifteen years old. My solicitors and bankers will give you every information. That's the position in a nutshell.”

“No point in beating around the bush, gentlemen; I can offer you fourteen hundred a year for as long as I live and keep my directorships, and not a penny more. If you can’t accept that, you’ll have to make me bankrupt and get about six pence on the pound. My qualifying shares will sell for a couple of thousand at market price. I don’t own anything else. The house I live in, and everything in it, except for my clothes, my wine, and my cigars, belongs to my daughter under a settlement from fifteen years ago. My lawyers and bankers can provide you with any information you need. That’s the situation in a nutshell.”

In spite of business habits the surprise of the ten gentlemen was only partially concealed. A man who owed them so much would naturally say he owned nothing, but would he refer them to his solicitors and bankers unless he were telling the truth? Then Mr. Ventnor said:

In spite of their usual business habits, the surprise of the ten gentlemen was only partly hidden. A man who owed them so much would naturally claim he owned nothing, but would he really refer them to his lawyers and bankers if he wasn't being honest? Then Mr. Ventnor said:

“Will you submit your pass books?”

“Will you hand in your passbooks?”

“No, but I'll authorise my bankers to give you a full statement of my receipts for the last five years—longer, if you like.”

“No, but I’ll let my bankers provide you with a complete statement of my earnings for the past five years—longer, if you want.”

The strategic stroke of placing the ten gentlemen round the Board table had made it impossible for them to consult freely without being overheard, but the low-voiced transference of thought travelling round was summed up at last by Mr. Brownbee.

The strategic move of putting the ten gentlemen around the Board table made it impossible for them to talk freely without being overheard, but the quiet exchange of ideas going around was finally summed up by Mr. Brownbee.

“We think, Mr. Heythorp, that your fees and dividends should enable you to set aside for us a larger sum. Sixteen hundred, in fact, is what we think you should give us yearly. Representing, as we do, sixteen thousand pounds, the prospect is not cheering, but we hope you have some good years before you yet. We understand your income to be two thousand pounds.”

“We believe, Mr. Heythorp, that your fees and dividends should allow you to set aside a larger amount for us. In fact, we think you should contribute sixteen hundred each year. Representing, as we do, sixteen thousand pounds, the outlook isn’t great, but we hope you have some good years ahead. We understand your income is two thousand pounds.”

Old Heythorp shook his head. “Nineteen hundred and thirty pounds in a good year. Must eat and drink; must have a man to look after me not as active as I was. Can't do on less than five hundred pounds. Fourteen hundred's all I can give you, gentlemen; it's an advance of two hundred pounds. That's my last word.”

Old Heythorp shook his head. “Nineteen hundred and thirty pounds in a good year. I have to eat and drink; I need someone to take care of me since I'm not as active as I used to be. I can't manage on less than five hundred pounds. Fourteen hundred is all I can offer you, gentlemen; that's a two hundred pound advance. That's my final offer.”

The silence was broken by Mr. Ventnor.

The silence was broken by Mr. Ventnor.

“And it's my last word that I'm not satisfied. If these other gentlemen accept your proposition I shall be forced to consider what I can do on my own account.”

“And this is my final word: I’m not satisfied. If these other gentlemen accept your offer, I’ll have to think about what I can do for myself.”

The old man stared at him, and answered:

The old man looked at him and replied:

“Oh! you will, sir; we shall see.”

“Oh! you will, sir; we’ll see.”

The others had risen and were gathered in a knot at the end of the table; old Heythorp and Mr. Ventnor alone remained seated. The old man's lower lip projected till the white hairs below stood out like bristles. 'You ugly dog,' he was thinking, 'you think you've got something up your sleeve. Well, do your worst!' The “ugly dog” rose abruptly and joined the others. And old Heythorp closed his eyes, sitting perfectly still, with his cigar, which had gone out, sticking up between his teeth. Mr. Brownbee turning to voice the decision come to, cleared his throat.

The others had stood up and were huddled together at the end of the table; old Heythorp and Mr. Ventnor were the only ones still seated. The old man's lower lip jutted out so much that the white hairs beneath stuck up like bristles. 'You ugly dog,' he thought, 'you think you have something up your sleeve. Well, bring it on!' The “ugly dog” abruptly got up and joined the others. Old Heythorp closed his eyes, sitting perfectly still, with his cigar, which had gone out, sticking up between his teeth. Mr. Brownbee turned to announce the decision that had been made and cleared his throat.

“Mr. Heythorp,” he said, “if your bankers and solicitors bear out your statements, we shall accept your offer faute de mieux, in consideration of your—” but meeting the old man's eyes, which said so very plainly: “Blow your consideration!” he ended with a stammer: “Perhaps you will kindly furnish us with the authorisation you spoke of?”

“Mr. Heythorp,” he said, “if your bankers and lawyers confirm what you've said, we’ll accept your offer as a last resort, considering your—” but when he met the old man's eyes, which clearly communicated, “Forget your consideration!” he trailed off and stammered, “Maybe you can provide us with the authorization you mentioned?”

Old Heythorp nodded, and Mr. Brownbee, with a little bow, clasped his hat to his breast and moved towards the door. The nine gentlemen followed. Mr. Ventnor, bringing up the rear, turned and looked back. But the old man's eyes were already closed again.

Old Heythorp nodded, and Mr. Brownbee, with a slight bow, held his hat to his chest and walked toward the door. The nine gentlemen followed. Mr. Ventnor, bringing up the rear, turned and looked back. But the old man's eyes were already closed again.

The moment his creditors were gone, old Heythorp sounded the hand-bell.

The moment his creditors left, old Heythorp rang the bell.

“Help me up, Mr. Farney. That Ventnor—what's his holding?”

“Help me up, Mr. Farney. That Ventnor—what's he got?”

“Quite small. Only ten shares, I think.”

“Pretty small. Just ten shares, I believe.”

“Ah! What time is it?”

"Ah! What time is it?"

“Quarter to four, sir.”

"3:45, sir."

“Get me a taxi.”

"Call me a taxi."

After visiting his bank and his solicitors he struggled once more into his cab and caused it to be driven towards Millicent Villas. A kind of sleepy triumph permeated his whole being, bumped and shaken by the cab's rapid progress. So! He was free of those sharks now so long as he could hold on to his Companies; and he would still have a hundred a year or more to spare for Rosamund and her youngsters. He could live on four hundred, or even three-fifty, without losing his independence, for there would be no standing life in that holy woman's house unless he could pay his own scot! A good day's work! The best for many a long month!

After visiting his bank and his lawyers, he struggled back into his cab and had it drive towards Millicent Villas. A kind of lazy triumph filled him, jostled by the cab's quick movement. So! He was free of those sharks now as long as he could hold onto his Companies; and he would still have a hundred a year or more to spare for Rosamund and her kids. He could live on four hundred, or even three-fifty, without losing his independence, since there would be no living in that holy woman's house unless he could pay for his own expenses! A great day's work! The best he's had in a long time!

The cab stopped before the villa.

The taxi pulled up in front of the house.





3

There are rooms which refuse to give away their owners, and rooms which seem to say: 'They really are like this.' Of such was Rosamund Larne's—a sort of permanent confession, seeming to remark to anyone who entered: 'Her taste? Well, you can see—cheerful and exuberant; her habits—yes, she sits here all the morning in a dressing-gown, smoking cigarettes and dropping ink; kindly observe my carpet. Notice the piano—it has a look of coming and going, according to the exchequer. This very deep-cushioned sofa is permanent, however; the water-colours on the walls are safe, too—they're by herself. Mark the scent of mimosa—she likes flowers, and likes them strong. No clock, of course. Examine the bureau—she is obviously always ringing for “the drumstick,” and saying: “Where's this, Ellen, and where's that? You naughty gairl, you've been tidying.” Cast an eye on that pile of manuscript—she has evidently a genius for composition; it flows off her pen—like Shakespeare, she never blots a line. See how she's had the electric light put in, instead of that horrid gas; but try and turn either of them on—you can't; last quarter isn't paid, of course; and she uses an oil lamp, you can tell that by the ceiling: The dog over there, who will not answer to the name of 'Carmen,' a Pekinese spaniel like a little Djin, all prominent eyes rolling their blacks, and no nose between—yes, Carmen looks as if she didn't know what was coming next; she's right—it's a pet-and-slap-again life! Consider, too, the fittings of the tea-tray, rather soiled, though not quite tin, but I say unto you that no millionaire's in all its glory ever had a liqueur bottle on it.'

There are rooms that keep their owners' secrets and rooms that seem to say, "This is how they really are." Rosamund Larne's room was one of those—a sort of permanent confession, seeming to tell anyone who walked in: "Her taste? Well, just look—cheerful and lively; her habits—yes, she spends her mornings in a dressing gown, smoking cigarettes and spilling ink; kindly observe my carpet. Notice the piano—it looks like it's been used a lot, depending on her finances. The deep-cushioned sofa, though, is a mainstay; the watercolors on the walls are safe too—they're her own creations. Catch the scent of mimosa—she loves flowers and prefers them strong. No clock, of course. Check out the bureau—she's clearly always asking for 'the drumstick' and saying, 'Where's this, Ellen, and where's that? You naughty girl, you’ve been tidying.' Take a look at that pile of manuscripts—she clearly has a talent for writing; it flows from her pen—like Shakespeare, she never makes a mistake. See how she had electric lights installed, instead of that awful gas; but try turning either of them on—you can’t; last bill isn’t paid, of course; and she uses an oil lamp—you can tell by the ceiling. The dog over there, who won’t respond to the name 'Carmen,’ is a Pekinese spaniel, looking like a little genie, with big eyes rolling around and no nose to speak of—yeah, Carmen looks like she has no idea what's next; she’s right—it’s a life of pampering and then scolding! Also, look at the tea tray—rather grimy, though not completely made of tin, but I tell you, no millionaire in all its splendor would ever have a liqueur bottle on it."

When old Heythorp entered this room, which extended from back to front of the little house, preceded by the announcement “Mr. Aesop,” it was resonant with a very clatter-bodandigo of noises, from Phyllis playing the Machiche; from the boy Jock on the hearthrug, emitting at short intervals the most piercing notes from an ocarina; from Mrs. Larne on the sofa, talking with her trailing volubility to Bob Pillin; from Bob Pillin muttering: “Ye-es! Qui-ite! Ye-es!” and gazing at Phyllis over his collar. And, on the window-sill, as far as she could get from all this noise, the little dog Carmen was rolling her eyes. At sight of their visitor Jock blew one rending screech, and bolting behind the sofa, placed his chin on its top, so that nothing but his round pink unmoving face was visible; and the dog Carmen tried to climb the blind cord.

When old Heythorp walked into this room, which stretched from the back to the front of the little house, with the announcement “Mr. Aesop,” it was filled with a cacophony of sounds: Phyllis playing the Machiche; the boy Jock on the hearthrug, intermittently letting out the sharpest notes from an ocarina; Mrs. Larne on the sofa, chatting energetically with Bob Pillin; and Bob Pillin muttering, “Ye-es! Qui-ite! Ye-es!” while glancing at Phyllis over his collar. And, on the window sill, as far away from all this noise as she could get, the little dog Carmen was rolling her eyes. When Jock spotted their visitor, he let out one loud screech and darted behind the sofa, resting his chin on its top so that only his round, pink, unmoving face was showing, while the dog Carmen attempted to climb the blind cord.

Encircled from behind by the arms of Phyllis, and preceded by the gracious perfumed bulk of Mrs. Larne, old Heythorp was escorted to the sofa. It was low, and when he had plumped down into it, the boy Jock emitted a hollow groan. Bob Pillin was the first to break the silence.

Encircled from behind by Phyllis's arms and followed by the elegant, fragrant presence of Mrs. Larne, old Heythorp was guided to the sofa. It was low, and when he plopped down onto it, the boy Jock let out a hollow groan. Bob Pillin was the first to speak up.

“How are you, sir? I hope it's gone through.”

“How are you, sir? I hope it went through.”

Old Heythorp nodded. His eyes were fixed on the liqueur, and Mrs. Larne murmured:

Old Heythorp nodded. His eyes were glued to the liqueur, and Mrs. Larne murmured:

“Guardy, you must try our new liqueur. Jock, you awful boy, get up and bring Guardy a glass.”

“Guardy, you have to try our new liqueur. Jock, you terrible boy, get up and bring Guardy a glass.”

The boy Jock approached the tea-table, took up a glass, put it to his eye and filled it rapidly.

The boy Jock walked over to the tea table, picked up a glass, held it up to his eye, and quickly filled it.

“You horrible boy, you could see that glass has been used.”

“You awful boy, you could see that glass has been used.”

In a high round voice rather like an angel's, Jock answered:

In a high-pitched voice that sounded a bit like an angel's, Jock replied:

“All right, Mother; I'll get rid of it,” and rapidly swallowing the yellow liquor, took up another glass.

"Okay, Mom; I'll get rid of it," and quickly downing the yellow drink, grabbed another glass.

Mrs. Larne laughed.

Mrs. Larne chuckled.

“What am I to do with him?”

“What should I do with him?”

A loud shriek prevented a response. Phyllis, who had taken her brother by the ear to lead him to the door, let him go to clasp her injured self.

A loud scream interrupted any reply. Phyllis, who had grabbed her brother by the ear to guide him to the door, released him to hold her hurt self.

Bob Pillin went hastening towards her; and following the young man with her chin, Mrs. Larne said, smiling:

Bob Pillin hurried towards her, and while she followed the young man with her chin, Mrs. Larne said, smiling:

“Aren't those children awful? He's such a nice fellow. We like him so much, Guardy.”

“Aren't those kids terrible? He's really a great guy. We like him so much, Guardy.”

The old man grinned. So she was making up to that young pup! Rosamund Larne, watching him, murmured:

The old man smiled. So she was flirting with that young guy! Rosamund Larne, observing him, whispered:

“Oh! Guardy, you're as bad as Jock. He takes after you terribly. Look at the shape of his head. Jock, come here!” The innocent boy approached; with his girlish complexion, his flowery blue eyes, his perfect mouth, he stood before his mother like a large cherub. And suddenly he blew his ocarina in a dreadful manner. Mrs. Larne launched a box at his ears, and receiving the wind of it he fell prone.

“Oh! Guardy, you're just as bad as Jock. He’s inherited all your traits. Look at the shape of his head. Jock, come here!” The innocent boy walked over; with his soft complexion, bright blue eyes, and perfect mouth, he stood before his mother like a large cherub. And suddenly, he played his ocarina in a terrible way. Mrs. Larne threw a box at his ears, and as he caught the wind of it, he fell down.

“That's the way he behaves. Be off with you, you awful boy. I want to talk to Guardy.”

“That's how he acts. Get lost, you terrible kid. I need to talk to Guardy.”

The boy withdrew on his stomach, and sat against the wall cross-legged, fixing his innocent round eyes on old Heythorp. Mrs. Larne sighed.

The boy lay on his stomach, propped up against the wall with his legs crossed, staring at old Heythorp with his innocent round eyes. Mrs. Larne sighed.

“Things are worse and worse, Guardy. I'm at my wits' end to tide over this quarter. You wouldn't advance me a hundred on my new story? I'm sure to get two for it in the end.”

“Things just keep getting worse, Guardy. I'm completely out of ideas to get through this quarter. Would you lend me a hundred on my new story? I’m sure I can get two for it in the end.”

The old man shook his head.

The old man shook his head.

“I've done something for you and the children,” he said. “You'll get notice of it in a day or two; ask no questions.”

“I've done something for you and the kids,” he said. “You'll hear about it in a day or two; don’t ask any questions.”

“Oh! Guardy! Oh! you dear!” And her gaze rested on Bob Pillin, leaning over the piano, where Phyllis again sat.

“Oh! Guardy! Oh! you sweetheart!” And her eyes lingered on Bob Pillin, who was leaning over the piano, where Phyllis was sitting again.

Old Heythorp snorted. “What are you cultivating that young gaby for? She mustn't be grabbed up by any fool who comes along.”

Old Heythorp snorted. “What are you training that young fool for? She shouldn't be picked up by any idiot who comes along.”

Mrs. Larne murmured at once:

Mrs. Larne whispered immediately:

“Of course, the dear gairl is much too young. Phyllis, come and talk to Guardy!”

“Of course, the dear girl is way too young. Phyllis, come and talk to Guardy!”

When the girl was installed beside him on the sofa, and he had felt that little thrill of warmth the proximity of youth can bring, he said:

When the girl sat next to him on the sofa, and he felt that small rush of warmth that being close to youth can create, he said:

“Been a good girl?”

"Have you been a good girl?"

She shook her head.

She shook her head.

“Can't, when Jock's not at school. Mother can't pay for him this term.”

“Can't, when Jock's not in school. Mom can't afford to pay for him this term.”

Hearing his name, the boy Jock blew his ocarina till Mrs. Larne drove him from the room, and Phyllis went on:

Hearing his name, the boy Jock played his ocarina until Mrs. Larne sent him out of the room, and Phyllis continued:

“He's more awful than anything you can think of. Was my dad at all like him, Guardy? Mother's always so mysterious about him. I suppose you knew him well.”

“He's worse than anything you can imagine. Was my dad at all like him, Guardy? Mom is always so secretive about him. I guess you knew him pretty well.”

Old Heythorp, incapable of confusion, answered stolidly:

Old Heythorp, unable to be confused, replied flatly:

“Not very.”

“Not really.”

“Who was his father? I don't believe even mother knows.”

“Who was his dad? I don't think even mom knows.”

“Man about town in my day.”

“Man about town in my time.”

“Oh! your day must have been jolly. Did you wear peg-top trousers, and dundreary's?”

“Oh! your day must have been fun. Did you wear wide-legged pants and sideburns?”

Old Heythorp nodded.

Old Heythorp agreed.

“What larks! And I suppose you had lots of adventures with opera dancers and gambling. The young men are all so good now.” Her eyes rested on Bob Pillin. “That young man's a perfect stick of goodness.”

“What fun! And I bet you had plenty of adventures with opera dancers and gambling. Young men are all so good nowadays.” Her gaze settled on Bob Pillin. “That young man is a perfect example of goodness.”

Old Heythorp grunted.

Old Heythorp grunted.

“You wouldn't know how good he was,” Phyllis went on musingly, “unless you'd sat next him in a tunnel. The other day he had his waist squeezed and he simply sat still and did nothing. And then when the tunnel ended, it was Jock after all, not me. His face was—Oh! ah! ha! ha! Ah! ha!” She threw back her head, displaying all her white, round throat. Then edging near, she whispered:

“You wouldn't realize how great he was,” Phyllis continued thoughtfully, “unless you had sat next to him in a tunnel. The other day, he got his waist squeezed, and he just sat there without doing anything. Then, when the tunnel ended, it turned out to be Jock after all, not me. His face was—Oh! ha! ha! Ha! ha!” She tilted her head back, exposing her smooth, white neck. Then, leaning in closer, she whispered:

“He likes to pretend, of course, that he's fearfully lively. He's promised to take mother and me to the theatre and supper afterwards. Won't it be scrummy! Only, I haven't anything to go in.”

“He likes to act like he’s super exciting. He’s promised to take Mom and me to the theater and then out for dinner. Won't that be awesome! The only problem is, I don’t have anything to wear.”

Old Heythorp said: “What do you want? Irish poplin?”

Old Heythorp said: “What do you want? Irish poplin?”

Her mouth opened wide: “Oh! Guardy! Soft white satin!”

Her mouth opened wide: “Oh! Guardy! Soft white satin!”

“How many yards'll go round you?”

“How many yards will go around you?”

“I should think about twelve. We could make it ourselves. You are a chook!”

"I'd say about twelve. We could make it ourselves. You're a chicken!"

A scent of hair, like hay, enveloped him, her lips bobbed against his nose,—and there came a feeling in his heart as when he rolled the first sip of a special wine against his palate. This little house was a rumty-too affair, her mother was a humbug, the boy a cheeky young rascal, but there was a warmth here he never felt in that big house which had been his wife's and was now his holy daughter's. And once more he rejoiced at his day's work, and the success of his breach of trust, which put some little ground beneath these young feet, in a hard and unscrupulous world. Phyllis whispered in his ear:

A smell of hair, like hay, surrounded him; her lips brushed against his nose—and a feeling filled his heart, just like when he rolled the first sip of a special wine around his mouth. This little house had a quirky charm, her mother was a fake, and the boy was a cheeky young rascal, but there was a warmth here he never felt in that big house which had belonged to his wife and was now his holy daughter’s. And once again, he felt pleased with his day’s work and the success of his betrayal of trust, which put a little stability under these young feet in a tough and ruthless world. Phyllis whispered in his ear:

“Guardy, do look; he will stare at me like that. Isn't it awful—like a boiled rabbit?”

“Guardy, look at him; he’s staring at me like that. Isn't it terrible—like a boiled rabbit?”

Bob Pillin, attentive to Mrs. Larne, was gazing with all his might over her shoulder at the girl. The young man was moonstruck, that was clear! There was something almost touching in the stare of those puppy dog's eyes. And he thought 'Young beggar—wish I were his age!' The utter injustice of having an old and helpless body, when your desire for enjoyment was as great as ever! They said a man was as old as he felt! Fools! A man was as old as his legs and arms, and not a day younger. He heard the girl beside him utter a discomfortable sound, and saw her face cloud as if tears were not far off; she jumped up, and going to the window, lifted the little dog and buried her face in its brown and white fur. Old Heythorp thought: 'She sees that her humbugging mother is using her as a decoy.' But she had come back, and the little dog, rolling its eyes horribly at the strange figure on the sofa, in a desperate effort to escape succeeded in reaching her shoulder, where it stayed perched like a cat, held by one paw and trying to back away into space. Old Heythorp said abruptly:

Bob Pillin, focused on Mrs. Larne, was straining with all his might to look over her shoulder at the girl. It was obvious that the young man was infatuated! There was something almost endearing about the way his wide puppy-dog eyes stared. He thought, 'Poor kid—I wish I were his age!' It felt so unfair to be stuck in an old, weak body while still longing for the pleasures of youth! They said a man is as old as he feels! What nonsense! A man is as old as his arms and legs, and not a day younger. He heard the girl next to him make a distressed sound and saw her face cloud over as if tears were close; she jumped up, went to the window, picked up the little dog, and buried her face in its brown and white fur. Old Heythorp thought: 'She realizes her deceitful mother is using her as bait.' But she came back, and the little dog, glaring nervously at the strange figure on the sofa, managed in a frantic attempt to escape to climb onto her shoulder, where it stayed perched like a cat, held by one paw and trying to pull away into thin air. Old Heythorp said abruptly:

“Are you very fond of your mother?”

“Do you really love your mom?”

“Of course I am, Guardy. I adore her.”

“Of course I am, Guardy. I love her.”

“H'm! Listen to me. When you come of age or marry, you'll have a hundred and twenty a year of your own that you can't get rid of. Don't ever be persuaded into doing what you don't want. And remember: Your mother's a sieve, no good giving her money; keep what you'll get for yourself—it's only a pittance, and you'll want it all—every penny.”

“H'm! Listen to me. When you turn 18 or get married, you'll have 120 a year of your own that you can't escape. Don't ever let anyone talk you into doing something you don't want. And remember: Your mom can't keep a secret, so don't give her any money; keep what you'll get for yourself—it's just a small amount, and you'll need it all—every penny.”

Phyllis's eyes had opened very wide; so that he wondered if she had taken in his words.

Phyllis's eyes were wide open, making him wonder if she understood what he had said.

“Oh! Isn't money horrible, Guardy?”

“Oh! Isn't money the worst, Guardy?”

“The want of it.”

“Lack of it.”

“No, it's beastly altogether. If only we were like birds. Or if one could put out a plate overnight, and have just enough in the morning to use during the day.”

“No, it’s totally terrible. If only we were like birds. Or if you could just set out a plate overnight and have just enough in the morning to use throughout the day.”

Old Heythorp sighed.

Old Heythorp sighed.

“There's only one thing in life that matters—independence. Lose that, and you lose everything. That's the value of money. Help me up.”

“There's only one thing in life that really matters—independence. Lose that, and you lose everything. That's what money is worth. Help me up.”

Phyllis stretched out her hands, and the little dog, running down her back, resumed its perch on the window-sill, close to the blind cord.

Phyllis stretched out her hands, and the little dog, scampering down her back, returned to its spot on the window sill, right by the blind cord.

Once on his feet, old Heythorp said:

Once he was on his feet, old Heythorp said:

“Give me a kiss. You'll have your satin tomorrow.”

“Give me a kiss. You'll get your satin tomorrow.”

Then looking at Bob Pillin, he remarked:

Then, looking at Bob Pillin, he said:

“Going my way? I'll give you a lift.”

“Are you headed my way? I can give you a ride.”

The young man, giving Phyllis one appealing look, answered dully: “Tha-anks!” and they went out together to the taxi. In that draughtless vehicle they sat, full of who knows what contempt of age for youth; and youth for age; the old man resenting this young pup's aspiration to his granddaughter; the young man annoyed that this old image had dragged him away before he wished to go. Old Heythorp said at last:

The young man, shooting Phyllis an attractive look, replied flatly, “Thanks!” and they left together for the taxi. Inside that stuffy vehicle, they sat, filled with a mix of contempt for age from youth and vice versa; the old man resenting this young guy's interest in his granddaughter; the young man irritated that this old man had pulled him away before he wanted to leave. Old Heythorp finally spoke up:

“Well?”

"What's up?"

Thus expected to say something, Bob Pillin muttered

Thus expected to say something, Bob Pillin muttered

“Glad your meetin' went off well, sir. You scored a triumph I should think.”

“Glad your meeting went well, sir. You achieved a victory, I would think.”

“Why?”

“Why?”

“Oh! I don't know. I thought you had a good bit of opposition to contend with.”

“Oh! I don't know. I thought you had quite a bit of opposition to deal with.”

Old Heythorp looked at him.

Old Heythorp glanced at him.

“Your grandmother!” he said; then, with his habitual instinct of attack, added: “You make the most of your opportunities, I see.”

“Your grandmother!” he said; then, with his usual tendency to provoke, added: “I see you really know how to take advantage of your chances.”

At this rude assault Bob Pillin's red-cheeked face assumed a certain dignity. “I don't know what you mean, sir. Mrs. Larne is very kind to me.”

At this sudden attack, Bob Pillin's flushed face took on a level of dignity. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir. Mrs. Larne is really nice to me.”

“No doubt. But don't try to pick the flowers.”

“No doubt. But don’t try to pick the flowers.”

Thoroughly upset, Bob Pillin preserved a dogged silence. This fortnight, since he had first met Phyllis in old Heythorp's hall, had been the most singular of his existence up to now. He would never have believed that a fellow could be so quickly and completely bowled, could succumb without a kick, without even wanting to kick. To one with his philosophy of having a good time and never committing himself too far, it was in the nature of “a fair knock-out,” and yet so pleasurable, except for the wear and tear about one's chances. If only he knew how far the old boy really counted in the matter! To say: “My intentions are strictly honourable” would be old-fashioned; besides—the old fellow might have no right to hear it. They called him Guardy, but without knowing more he did not want to admit the old curmudgeon's right to interfere.

Thoroughly upset, Bob Pillin kept a stubborn silence. These past two weeks since he first met Phyllis in old Heythorp's hall had been the strangest of his life so far. He never would have believed that someone could be so quickly and completely smitten, could surrender without a fight or even wanting to fight. For someone like him, who believed in having fun and not getting too committed, it felt like “a total knockout,” and yet so enjoyable, except for the anxiety about his prospects. If only he knew how much the old man really mattered in all of this! Saying, “My intentions are totally honorable” would sound outdated; besides—maybe the old guy didn't even have a right to know that. They called him Guardy, but without knowing more, he didn’t want to give the old grouch the right to interfere.

“Are you a relation of theirs, sir?”

"Are you a relative of theirs, sir?"

Old Heythorp nodded.

Old Heythorp agreed.

Bob Pillin went on with desperation:

Bob Pillin continued desperately:

“I should like to know what your objection to me is.”

“I’d like to know what your problem with me is.”

The old man turned his head so far as he was able; a grim smile bristled the hairs about his lips, and twinkled in his eyes. What did he object to? Why—everything! Object to! That sleek head, those puppy-dog eyes, fattish red cheeks, high collars, pearl pin, spats, and drawl-pah! the imbecility, the smugness of his mug; no go, no devil in any of his sort, in any of these fish-veined, coddled-up young bloods, nothing but playing for safety! And he wheezed out:

The old man turned his head as much as he could; a grim smile twitched the hairs around his lips and sparkled in his eyes. What did he dislike? Well—everything! Dislike? That slick hair, those puppy-dog eyes, chubby red cheeks, high collars, pearl pin, spats, and that drawl—ugh! The foolishness, the smugness of his face; no energy, no spirit in any of his kind, in any of these pampered, soft young men, nothing but playing it safe! And he wheezed out:

“Milk and water masquerading as port wine.”

"Milk and water pretending to be port wine."

Bob Pillin frowned.

Bob Pillin was displeased.

It was almost too much for the composure even of a man of the world. That this paralytic old fellow should express contempt for his virility was really the last thing in jests. Luckily he could not take it seriously. But suddenly he thought: 'What if he really has the power to stop my going there, and means to turn them against me!' And his heart quailed.

It was nearly too much for even a seasoned person to handle. That this old guy, who could hardly move, would show disdain for his masculinity was honestly the most ridiculous joke ever. Fortunately, he couldn't take it to heart. But then he had a sudden thought: 'What if he truly has the ability to prevent me from going there and intends to turn them against me!' And his heart sank.

“Awfully sorry, sir,” he said, “if you don't think I'm wild enough. Anything I can do for you in that line—”

“I'm really sorry, sir,” he said, “if you don’t think I’m crazy enough. Anything I can do for you in that area—”

The old man grunted; and realising that he had been quite witty, Bob Pillin went on:

The old man grunted, and realizing he had actually been quite funny, Bob Pillin continued:

“I know I'm not in debt, no entanglements, got a decent income, pretty good expectations and all that; but I can soon put that all right if I'm not fit without.”

“I know I'm not in debt, have no complications, have a decent income, pretty good expectations, and all that; but I can fix all that quickly if I’m not okay without it.”

It was perhaps his first attempt at irony, and he could not help thinking how good it was.

It might have been his first shot at irony, and he couldn’t help but think how great it was.

But old Heythorp preserved a deadly silence. He looked like a stuffed man, a regular Aunt Sally sitting there, with the fixed red in his cheeks, his stivered hair, square block of a body, and no neck that you could see-only wanting the pipe in his mouth! Could there really be danger from such an old idol? The idol spoke:

But old Heythorp sat in complete silence. He looked like a stuffed mannequin, a typical Aunt Sally just sitting there, with the bright red in his cheeks, his thinning hair, a square body, and no visible neck—almost like he just needed a pipe in his mouth! Could there really be a threat from such an ancient figure? The figure spoke:

“I'll give you a word of advice. Don't hang round there, or you'll burn your fingers. Remember me to your father. Good-night!”

“I'll give you a piece of advice. Don't stick around there, or you'll get burned. Say hi to your dad for me. Goodnight!”

The taxi had stopped before the house in Sefton Park. An insensate impulse to remain seated and argue the point fought in Bob Pillin with an impulse to leap out, shake his fist in at the window, and walk off. He merely said, however:

The taxi had stopped in front of the house in Sefton Park. Bob Pillin felt a strong urge to stay seated and argue, but he also wanted to jump out, shake his fist at the window, and walk away. In the end, he just said:

“Thanks for the lift. Good-night!” And, getting out deliberately, he walked off.

“Thanks for the ride. Good night!” And, stepping out intentionally, he walked away.

Old Heythorp, waiting for the driver to help him up, thought 'Fatter, but no more guts than his father!'

Old Heythorp, waiting for the driver to assist him, thought, 'He's fatter, but has no more guts than his father!'

In his sanctum he sank at once into his chair. It was wonderfully still there every day at this hour; just the click of the coals, just the faintest ruffle from the wind in the trees of the park. And it was cosily warm, only the fire lightening the darkness. A drowsy beatitude pervaded the old man. A good day's work! A triumph—that young pup had said. Yes! Something of a triumph! He had held on, and won. And dinner to look forward to, yet. A nap—a nap! And soon, rhythmic, soft, sonorous, his breathing rose, with now and then that pathetic twitching of the old who dream.

In his private space, he immediately sank into his chair. It was wonderfully quiet there every day at this time; just the sound of the coals popping, just the slightest rustle from the wind in the trees of the park. And it was comfortably warm, with only the fire lighting up the darkness. A sleepy sense of happiness filled the old man. A good day's work! A victory—that young kid had said. Yes! It was somewhat of a victory! He had persevered and won. And dinner to look forward to, still. A nap—a nap! And soon, soft, rhythmic, and deep, his breathing increased, occasionally interrupted by that sad twitching of the old who dream.





III

1

When Bob Pillin emerged from the little front garden of 23, Millicent Villas ten days later, his sentiments were ravelled, and he could not get hold of an end to pull straight the stuff of his mind.

When Bob Pillin stepped out of the small front garden of 23 Millicent Villas ten days later, his emotions were tangled, and he couldn't find a way to untangle the chaos in his mind.

He had found Mrs. Larne and Phyllis in the sitting-room, and Phyllis had been crying; he was sure she had been crying; and that memory still infected the sentiments evoked by later happenings. Old Heythorp had said: “You'll burn your fingers.” The process had begun. Having sent her daughter away on a pretext really a bit too thin, Mrs. Larne had installed him beside her scented bulk on the sofa, and poured into his ear such a tale of monetary woe and entanglement, such a mass of present difficulties and rosy prospects, that his brain still whirled, and only one thing emerged clearly-that she wanted fifty pounds, which she would repay him on quarter-day; for their Guardy had made a settlement by which, until the dear children came of age, she would have sixty pounds every quarter. It was only a question of a few weeks; he might ask Messrs. Scriven and Coles; they would tell him the security was quite safe. He certainly might ask Messrs. Scriven and Coles—they happened to be his father's solicitors; but it hardly seemed to touch the point. Bob Pillin had a certain shrewd caution, and the point was whether he was going to begin to lend money to a woman who, he could see, might borrow up to seventy times seven on the strength of his infatuation for her daughter. That was rather too strong! Yet, if he didn't she might take a sudden dislike to him, and where would he be then? Besides, would not a loan make his position stronger? And then—such is the effect of love even on the younger generation—that thought seemed to him unworthy. If he lent at all, it should be from chivalry—ulterior motives might go hang! And the memory of the tear-marks on Phyllis's pretty pale-pink cheeks; and her petulantly mournful: “Oh! young man, isn't money beastly!” scraped his heart, and ravished his judgment. All the same, fifty pounds was fifty pounds, and goodness knew how much more; and what did he know of Mrs. Larne, after all, except that she was a relative of old Heythorp's and wrote stories—told them too, if he was not mistaken? Perhaps it would be better to see Scrivens'. But again that absurd nobility assaulted him. Phyllis! Phyllis! Besides, were not settlements always drawn so that they refused to form security for anything? Thus, hampered and troubled, he hailed a cab. He was dining with the Ventnors on the Cheshire side, and would be late if he didn't get home sharp to dress.

He found Mrs. Larne and Phyllis in the living room, and Phyllis had been crying; he could tell she had been crying, and that memory still affected how he felt about what happened later. Old Heythorp had warned him: “You’ll burn your fingers.” The situation had started. After sending her daughter away with a somewhat transparent excuse, Mrs. Larne had positioned him next to her fragrant bulk on the sofa and whispered in his ear a story full of financial troubles and complications, so much current hardship and bright future prospects, that his head was spinning, and only one thing stood out clearly—she wanted fifty pounds, which she promised to pay back on quarterly day; because their Guardy had arranged a settlement that provided her with sixty pounds every quarter until the kids came of age. It was just a matter of weeks; he could check with Messrs. Scriven and Coles; they would confirm that the collateral was secure. He definitely could ask Messrs. Scriven and Coles—they were his father's lawyers—but that didn't really address the main issue. Bob Pillin had a cautious wisdom, and the question was whether he should start lending money to a woman who, he could see, could borrow up to seventy times seven just because he was enamored with her daughter. That felt like too much! Still, if he didn't, she might suddenly dislike him, and where would that leave him? Besides, wouldn’t a loan strengthen his position? Yet—such is the power of love even among young people—that thought felt unworthy. If he lent at all, it should be out of chivalry—greedy motives could be damned! And the memory of tear-stained marks on Phyllis’s delicate pale-pink cheeks; and her petulant, sorrowful remark: “Oh! young man, isn’t money awful!” tugged at his heart and clouded his judgment. Still, fifty pounds was fifty pounds, and who knew how much more; and what did he really know about Mrs. Larne, other than that she was a relative of old Heythorp’s and wrote stories—maybe even told them too, if he remembered correctly? Perhaps it would be better to see Scrivens’. But once again that silly sense of nobility hit him. Phyllis! Phyllis! Additionally, weren’t settlements always structured so they wouldn’t count as collateral for anything? So, feeling conflicted and anxious, he hailed a cab. He was going to dinner with the Ventnors on the Cheshire side, and he’d be late if he didn’t get home quickly to change.

Driving, white-tied—and waist-coated, in his father's car, he thought with a certain contumely of the younger Ventnor girl, whom he had been wont to consider pretty before he knew Phyllis. And seated next her at dinner, he quite enjoyed his new sense of superiority to her charms, and the ease with which he could chaff and be agreeable. And all the time he suffered from the suppressed longing which scarcely ever left him now, to think and talk of Phyllis. Ventnor's fizz was good and plentiful, his old Madeira absolutely first chop, and the only other man present a teetotal curate, who withdrew with the ladies to talk his parish shop. Favoured by these circumstances, and the perception that Ventnor was an agreeable fellow, Bob Pillin yielded to his secret itch to get near the subject of his affections.

Driving in a white tie and waistcoat in his father's car, he looked down on the younger Ventnor girl, who he had once thought was pretty before he met Phyllis. Sitting next to her at dinner, he took pleasure in his newfound sense of superiority over her looks and the way he could easily joke around and be charming. Yet, all the while, he struggled with a deep, lingering desire to think and talk about Phyllis, which rarely left him now. Ventnor's sparkling wine was good and plentiful, his old Madeira was top-notch, and the only other man present was a teetotal curate, who went off with the ladies to discuss his parish matters. Given these circumstances and recognizing that Ventnor was a likable guy, Bob Pillin succumbed to his secret urge to draw closer to the object of his affections.

“Do you happen,” he said airily, “to know a Mrs. Larne—relative of old Heythorp's—rather a handsome woman-she writes stories.”

“Do you happen,” he said casually, “to know a Mrs. Larne—relative of old Heythorp's—she’s quite a beautiful woman—she writes stories.”

Mr. Ventnor shook his head. A closer scrutiny than Bob Pillin's would have seen that he also moved his ears.

Mr. Ventnor shook his head. A closer look than Bob Pillin's would have noticed that he also moved his ears.

“Of old Heythorp's? Didn't know he had any, except his daughter, and that son of his in the Admiralty.”

“Old Heythorp's? I didn't know he had any, except for his daughter and that son of his in the Admiralty.”

Bob Pillin felt the glow of his secret hobby spreading within him.

Bob Pillin felt the warmth of his secret hobby growing inside him.

“She is, though—lives rather out of town; got a son and daughter. I thought you might know her stories—clever woman.”

"She does live a bit outside of town; she has a son and daughter. I figured you might know her stories—smart woman."

Mr. Ventnor smiled. “Ah!” he said enigmatically, “these lady novelists! Does she make any money by them?”

Mr. Ventnor smiled. “Ah!” he said mysteriously, “these female novelists! Does she make any money from them?”

Bob Pillin knew that to make money by writing meant success, but that not to make money by writing was artistic, and implied that you had private means, which perhaps was even more distinguished. And he said:

Bob Pillin knew that making money from writing meant success, but that not making money from writing was artistic and suggested that you had private wealth, which might be even more admirable. And he said:

“Oh! she has private means, I know.”

“Oh! I know she has her own money.”

Mr. Ventnor reached for the Madeira.

Mr. Ventnor reached for the Madeira.

“So she's a relative of old Heythorp's,” he said. “He's a very old friend of your father's. He ought to go bankrupt, you know.”

“So she's related to old Heythorp,” he said. “He’s a very old friend of your dad’s. He should really go bankrupt, you know.”

To Bob Pillin, glowing with passion and Madeira, the idea of bankruptcy seemed discreditable in connection with a relative of Phyllis. Besides, the old boy was far from that! Had he not just made this settlement on Mrs. Larne? And he said:

To Bob Pillin, buzzing with excitement and Madeira, the idea of bankruptcy felt shameful for someone related to Phyllis. Besides, the old guy was nowhere near that! Hadn’t he just settled things with Mrs. Larne? And he said:

“I think you're mistaken. That's of the past.”

“I think you’re wrong. That’s from the past.”

Mr. Ventnor smiled.

Mr. Ventnor grinned.

“Will you bet?” he said.

“Are you betting?” he asked.

Bob Pillin also smiled. “I should be bettin' on a certainty.”

Bob Pillin also smiled. “I should be betting on a sure thing.”

Mr. Ventnor passed his hand over his whiskered face. “Don't you believe it; he hasn't a mag to his name. Fill your glass.”

Mr. Ventnor ran his hand over his whiskered face. “Don't believe it; he doesn't have a dime to his name. Fill your glass.”

Bob Pillin said, with a certain resentment:

Bob Pillin said, with a hint of bitterness:

“Well, I happen to know he's just made a settlement of five or six thousand pounds. Don't know if you call that being bankrupt.”

“Well, I know he just settled for five or six thousand pounds. Not sure if you’d call that being bankrupt.”

“What! On this Mrs. Larne?”

“What! On this Mrs. Larne?”

Confused, uncertain whether he had said something derogatory or indiscreet, or something which added distinction to Phyllis, Bob Pillin hesitated, then gave a nod.

Confused and uncertain if he had said something rude or inappropriate, or something that made Phyllis look better, Bob Pillin hesitated and then nodded.

Mr. Ventnor rose and extended his short legs before the fire.

Mr. Ventnor stood up and stretched out his short legs in front of the fire.

“No, my boy,” he said. “No!”

“No, my boy,” he said. “No!”

Unaccustomed to flat contradiction, Bob Pillin reddened.

Unused to being outright contradicted, Bob Pillin blushed.

“I'll bet you a tenner. Ask Scrivens.”

“I'll bet you ten bucks. Ask Scrivens.”

Mr. Ventnor ejaculated:

Mr. Ventnor exclaimed:

“Scrivens—-but they're not—” then, staring rather hard, he added: “I won't bet. You may be right. Scrivens are your father's solicitors too, aren't they? Always been sorry he didn't come to me. Shall we join the ladies?” And to the drawing-room he preceded a young man more uncertain in his mind than on his feet....

“Scrivens—but they’re not—” then, staring pretty hard, he added: “I won’t bet. You might be right. Scrivens are your dad's solicitors too, right? I’ve always regretted he didn’t come to me. Should we join the ladies?” And he led a young man who was more unsure in his mind than on his feet into the drawing-room....

Charles Ventnor was not one to let you see that more was going on within than met the eye. But there was a good deal going on that evening, and after his conversation with young Bob he had occasion more than once to turn away and rub his hands together. When, after that second creditors' meeting, he had walked down the stairway which led to the offices of “The Island Navigation Company,” he had been deep in thought. Short, squarely built, rather stout, with moustache and large mutton-chop whiskers of a red brown, and a faint floridity in face and dress, he impressed at first sight only by a certain truly British vulgarity. One felt that here was a hail-fellow—well-met man who liked lunch and dinner, went to Scarborough for his summer holidays, sat on his wife, took his daughters out in a boat and was never sick. One felt that he went to church every Sunday morning, looked upwards as he moved through life, disliked the unsuccessful, and expanded with his second glass of wine. But then a clear look into his well-clothed face and red-brown eyes would give the feeling: 'There's something fulvous here; he might be a bit too foxy.' A third look brought the thought: 'He's certainly a bully.' He was not a large creditor of old Heythorp. With interest on the original, he calculated his claim at three hundred pounds—unredeemed shares in that old Ecuador mine. But he had waited for his money eight years, and could never imagine how it came about that he had been induced to wait so long. There had been, of course, for one who liked “big pots,” a certain glamour about the personality of old Heythorp, still a bit of a swell in shipping circles, and a bit of an aristocrat in Liverpool. But during the last year Charles Ventnor had realised that the old chap's star had definitely set—when that happens, of course, there is no more glamour, and the time has come to get your money. Weakness in oneself and others is despicable! Besides, he had food for thought, and descending the stairs he chewed it: He smelt a rat—creatures for which both by nature and profession he had a nose. Through Bob Pillin, on whom he sometimes dwelt in connection with his younger daughter, he knew that old Pillin and old Heythorp had been friends for thirty years and more. That, to an astute mind, suggested something behind this sale. The thought had already occurred to him when he read his copy of the report. A commission would be a breach of trust, of course, but there were ways of doing things; the old chap was devilish hard pressed, and human nature was human nature! His lawyerish mind habitually put two and two together. The old fellow had deliberately appointed to meet his creditors again just after the general meeting which would decide the purchase—had said he might do something for them then. Had that no significance?

Charles Ventnor didn't let on that there was more happening beneath the surface. But that evening, after his chat with young Bob, he found himself turning away to rub his hands together more than once. After the second creditors' meeting, when he walked down the stairs to the offices of “The Island Navigation Company,” he was lost in thought. Short, stocky, and a bit stout, with a mustache and large mutton-chop whiskers that were a reddish-brown, along with a faint flush in his face and attire, he initially made an impression of British vulgarity. You could tell he was the type of guy who enjoyed lunch and dinner, vacationed in Scarborough for the summer, kept his wife in line, took his daughters out on a boat, and never got seasick. He seemed like someone who went to church every Sunday morning, looked up as he went through life, didn’t like failure, and grew more animated with his second glass of wine. However, a closer look at his well-fed face and red-brown eyes hinted at something sly; he might be a bit too cunning. A third glance made you think: 'He’s definitely a bully.' He wasn't a major creditor of old Heythorp. Calculating interest on his original claim, he figured it amounted to three hundred pounds—unredeemed shares in that old Ecuador mine. Yet, he had waited eight years for his money and couldn't fathom why he had held on for so long. There had been, of course, some allure for someone who loved “big pots” in the personality of old Heythorp, who still held some prestige in shipping circles and had a touch of aristocracy in Liverpool. But over the past year, Charles Ventnor had come to realize that the old man's star had definitely faded—when that happens, the glamour disappears, and it's time to collect your money. Weakness in oneself and others is contemptible! Besides, he had a lot to ponder, and as he descended the stairs, he mulled it over: He sensed something was off—he had a knack for sniffing out trouble, both by nature and profession. Through Bob Pillin, whom he sometimes thought about in relation to his younger daughter, he knew that old Pillin and old Heythorp had been friends for over thirty years. To a sharp mind, that suggested something was behind this sale. He had already suspected it when he read his copy of the report. A commission would be a breach of trust, of course, but there were ways to get around that; old Heythorp was under a lot of pressure, and human nature is what it is! His lawyerly mind always connected the dots. The old fellow had intentionally scheduled another creditors' meeting right after the general meeting that would decide the purchase—had claimed he might do something for them then. Didn’t that have some significance?

In these circumstances Charles Ventnor had come to the meeting with eyes wide open and mouth tight closed. And he had watched. It was certainly remarkable that such an old and feeble man, with no neck at all, who looked indeed as if he might go off with apoplexy any moment, should actually say that he “stood or fell” by this purchase, knowing that if he fell he would be a beggar. Why should the old chap be so keen on getting it through? It would do him personally no good, unless—Exactly! He had left the meeting, therefore, secretly confident that old Heythorp had got something out of this transaction which would enable him to make a substantial proposal to his creditors. So that when the old man had declared that he was going to make none, something had turned sour in his heart, and he had said to himself: “All right, you old rascal! You don't know C. V.” The cavalier manner of that beggarly old rip, the defiant look of his deep little eyes, had put a polish on the rancour of one who prided himself on letting no man get the better of him. All that evening, seated on one side of the fire, while Mrs. Ventnor sat on the other, and the younger daughter played Gounod's Serenade on the violin—he cogitated. And now and again he smiled, but not too much. He did not see his way as yet, but had little doubt that before long he would. It would not be hard to knock that chipped old idol off his perch. There was already a healthy feeling among the shareholders that he was past work and should be scrapped. The old chap should find that Charles V. was not to be defied; that when he got his teeth into a thing, he did not let it go. By hook or crook he would have the old man off his Boards, or his debt out of him as the price of leaving him alone. His life or his money—and the old fellow should determine which. With the memory of that defiance fresh within him, he almost hoped it might come to be the first, and turning to Mrs. Ventnor, he said abruptly:

In this situation, Charles Ventnor arrived at the meeting with his eyes wide open and his mouth tightly shut. He observed everything. It was strange that such an old and frail man, with no neck at all and looking like he could have a stroke any moment, would boldly claim that he “stood or fell” by this purchase, knowing that if he fell, he'd be broke. Why was the old guy so intent on making it happen? It wouldn't benefit him personally, unless—Exactly! He left the meeting feeling secretly confident that old Heythorp was getting something out of this deal that would allow him to make a significant offer to his creditors. So when the old man announced that he wasn’t going to make any offers, something soured in his heart, and he thought: “Alright, you old trickster! You don’t know C. V.” The casual attitude of that pathetic old man, the defiant glint in his small, deep-set eyes, polished the bitterness of someone who prided himself on never letting anyone get the best of him. That evening, sitting on one side of the fire while Mrs. Ventnor sat on the other and their younger daughter played Gounod's Serenade on the violin, he pondered. Every so often he smiled, but not too widely. He didn’t have a clear plan yet, but he was confident that he would soon. It wouldn't be hard to knock that old idol off his pedestal. There was already a strong sentiment among the shareholders that he was past his prime and should be let go. The old guy was about to learn that Charles V. was not someone to be underestimated; once he got his teeth into something, he wouldn’t let go. By any means necessary, he would either remove the old man from his position or demand his debt as the price for leaving him alone. His life or his money—and it was up to the old man to decide. With the memory of that defiance fresh in his mind, he almost hoped it would come down to the first. Turning to Mrs. Ventnor, he said abruptly:

“Have a little dinner Friday week, and ask young Pillin and the curate.” He specified the curate, a tee-totaller, because he had two daughters, and males and females must be paired, but he intended to pack him off after dinner to the drawing-room to discuss parish matters while he and Bob Pillin sat over their wine. What he expected to get out of the young man he did not as yet know.

“Let’s have a little dinner on Friday next week and invite young Pillin and the curate.” He mentioned the curate, who doesn’t drink, because he had two daughters, and the men and women needed to be paired up, but he planned to send the curate off to the living room after dinner to talk about parish issues while he and Bob Pillin enjoyed their wine. What he hoped to gain from the young man, he didn’t know yet.

On the day of the dinner, before departing for the office, he had gone to his cellar. Would three bottles of Perrier Jouet do the trick, or must he add one of the old Madeira? He decided to be on the safe side. A bottle or so of champagne went very little way with him personally, and young Pillin might be another.

On the day of the dinner, before leaving for the office, he went to his cellar. Would three bottles of Perrier Jouet be enough, or should he add one of the old Madeira? He decided to play it safe. A bottle or two of champagne didn’t mean much to him personally, and young Pillin might feel the same.

The Madeira having done its work by turning the conversation into such an admirable channel, he had cut it short for fear young Pillin might drink the lot or get wind of the rat. And when his guests were gone, and his family had retired, he stood staring into the fire, putting together the pieces of the puzzle. Five or six thousand pounds—six would be ten per cent. on sixty! Exactly! Scrivens—young Pillin had said! But Crow & Donkin, not Scriven & Coles, were old Heythorp's solicitors. What could that mean, save that the old man wanted to cover the tracks of a secret commission, and had handled the matter through solicitors who did not know the state of his affairs! But why Pillin's solicitors? With this sale just going through, it must look deuced fishy to them too. Was it all a mare's nest, after all? In such circumstances he himself would have taken the matter to a London firm who knew nothing of anybody. Puzzled, therefore, and rather disheartened, feeling too that touch of liver which was wont to follow his old Madeira, he went up to bed and woke his wife to ask her why the dickens they couldn't always have soup like that!

The Madeira had done its job by steering the conversation in such a great direction, so he cut it short, worried that young Pillin might drink too much or catch on to something. After his guests left and his family had gone to bed, he stood staring at the fire, trying to piece everything together. Five or six thousand pounds—six would be ten percent of sixty! Exactly! Scrivens—young Pillin had mentioned! But Crow & Donkin, not Scriven & Coles, were old Heythorp's lawyers. What could that mean other than the old man wanted to hide a secret commission and had dealt with lawyers who didn’t know his financial situation? But why Pillin's lawyers? With this sale going through, it must look really suspicious to them too. Was it all just a wild goose chase, after all? In his position, he would have taken the matter to a London firm that didn’t know anyone involved. Feeling puzzled and kind of down, also sensing that familiar discomfort in his liver that often followed his old Madeira, he went upstairs to bed and woke his wife to ask her why on earth they couldn't always have soup like that!

Next day he continued to brood over his puzzle, and no fresh light came; but having a matter on which his firm and Scrivens' were in touch, he decided to go over in person, and see if he could surprise something out of them. Feeling, from experience, that any really delicate matter would only be entrusted to the most responsible member of the firm, he had asked to see Scriven himself, and just as he had taken his hat to go, he said casually:

Next day he kept mulling over his problem, but nothing new came to mind; however, since there was a matter his firm and Scrivens' were discussing, he decided to go over there in person to see if he could get any insight from them. Based on his experience, he believed that any truly sensitive issue would only be given to the most reliable person at the firm, so he requested to speak with Scriven himself, and just as he grabbed his hat to leave, he said casually:

“By the way, you do some business for old Mr. Heythorp, don't you?”

“By the way, you do some work for old Mr. Heythorp, right?”

Scriven, raising his eyebrows a little, murmured: “Er—no,” in exactly the tone Mr. Ventnor himself used when he wished to imply that though he didn't as a fact do business, he probably soon would. He knew therefore that the answer was a true one. And non-plussed, he hazarded:

Scriven, slightly raising his eyebrows, murmured, “Uh—no,” in the same tone Mr. Ventnor used when he wanted to suggest that while he wasn’t currently doing business, he probably would be soon. He knew that meant the answer was truthful. Feeling unsure, he ventured:

“Oh! I thought you did, in regard to a Mrs. Larne.”

“Oh! I thought you did, about a Mrs. Larne.”

This time he had certainly drawn blood of sorts, for down came Scriven's eyebrows, and he said:

This time he definitely made an impact, because Scriven's eyebrows furrowed, and he said:

“Mrs. Larne—we know a Mrs. Larne, but not in that connection. Why?”

“Mrs. Larne—we know a Mrs. Larne, but not in that context. Why?”

“Oh! Young Pillin told me—”

“Oh! Young Pillin just told me—”

“Young Pillin? Why, it's his—-!” A little pause, and then: “Old Mr. Heythorp's solicitors are Crow & Donkin, I believe.”

"Young Pillin? Why, it's his—-!" A brief pause, and then: "Old Mr. Heythorp's lawyers are Crow & Donkin, I think."

Mr. Ventnor held out his hand. “Yes, yes,” he said; “goodbye. Glad to have got that matter settled up,” and out he went, and down the street, important, smiling. By George! He had got it! “It's his father”—Scriven had been going to say. What a plant! Exactly! Oh! neat! Old Pillin had made the settlement direct; and the solicitors were in the dark; that disposed of his difficulty about them. No money had passed between old Pillin and old Heythorp not a penny. Oh! neat! But not neat enough for Charles Ventnor, who had that nose for rats. Then his smile died, and with a little chill he perceived that it was all based on supposition—not quite good enough to go on! What then? Somehow he must see this Mrs. Larne, or better—old Pillin himself. The point to ascertain was whether she had any connection of her own with Pillin. Clearly young Pillin didn't know of it; for, according to him, old Heythorp had made the settlement. By Jove! That old rascal was deep—all the more satisfaction in proving that he was not as deep as C. V. To unmask the old cheat was already beginning to seem in the nature of a public service. But on what pretext could he visit Pillin? A subscription to the Windeatt almshouses! That would make him talk in self-defence and he would take care not to press the request to the actual point of getting a subscription. He caused himself to be driven to the Pillin residence in Sefton Park. Ushered into a room on the ground floor, heated in American fashion, Mr. Ventnor unbuttoned his coat. A man of sanguine constitution, he found this hot-house atmosphere a little trying. And having sympathetically obtained Joe Pillin's reluctant refusal—Quite so! One could not indefinitely extend one's subscriptions even for the best of causes!—he said gently:

Mr. Ventnor extended his hand. “Yes, yes,” he said; “goodbye. I'm glad we got that matter sorted,” and he exited, walking down the street, feeling important and smiling. Wow! He had achieved it! “It's his father”—Scriven had been about to say. What a surprise! Exactly! Oh! Clever! Old Pillin had arranged the settlement directly, and the lawyers were unaware; that resolved his issue with them. No money had exchanged hands between old Pillin and old Heythorp—not a penny. Oh! Clever! But not clever enough for Charles Ventnor, who had a knack for sensing trouble. Then his smile faded, and with a slight chill, he realized it was all based on assumption—not quite solid enough to rely on! So what now? He had to meet this Mrs. Larne, or better yet—old Pillin himself. The key point to find out was whether she had any connection to Pillin. Clearly, young Pillin was oblivious to this; according to him, old Heythorp had executed the settlement. Goodness! That old trickster was clever—making it all the more satisfying to prove that he wasn’t as clever as C. V. Exposing the old fraud was starting to feel like a community service. But under what pretense could he visit Pillin? A contribution to the Windeatt almshouses! That would prompt him to speak in self-defense, and he’d be careful not to push the request to the point of actually obtaining a contribution. He arranged for a ride to the Pillin residence in Sefton Park. Once ushered into a ground-floor room, heated in an American style, Mr. Ventnor unbuttoned his coat. A man with a cheerful disposition, he found the greenhouse-like environment a bit challenging. After sympathetically receiving Joe Pillin's reluctant refusal—Of course! One can’t keep extending subscriptions, even for the best causes!—he said gently:

“By the way, you know Mrs. Larne, don't you?”

“By the way, you know Mrs. Larne, right?”

The effect of that simple shot surpassed his highest hopes. Joe Pillin's face, never highly coloured, turned a sort of grey; he opened his thin lips, shut them quickly, as birds do, and something seemed to pass with difficulty down his scraggy throat. The hollows, which nerve exhaustion delves in the cheeks of men whose cheekbones are not high, increased alarmingly. For a moment he looked deathly; then, moistening his lips, he said:

The impact of that simple shot exceeded his greatest expectations. Joe Pillin's face, which was never very flush, turned a kind of gray; he parted his thin lips, quickly closed them like a bird, and something seemed to struggle to pass down his skinny throat. The hollows created by nerve exhaustion deepened in the cheeks of men with low cheekbones, becoming more pronounced. For a moment, he looked ghostly; then, wetting his lips, he said:

“Larne—Larne? No, I don't seem—-”

“Larne—Larne? No, I don’t think—”

Mr. Ventnor, who had taken care to be drawing on his gloves, murmured:

Mr. Ventnor, who had made sure to be putting on his gloves, said quietly:

“Oh! I thought—your son knows her; a relation of old Heythorp's,” and he looked up.

“Oh! I thought—your son knows her; a relative of old Heythorp’s,” and he looked up.

Joe Pillin had his handkerchief to his mouth; he coughed feebly, then with more and more vigour:

Joe Pillin held a handkerchief to his mouth; he coughed weakly, then with increasing strength:

“I'm in very poor health,” he said, at last. “I'm getting abroad at once. This cold's killing me. What name did you say?” And he remained with his handkerchief against his teeth.

“I'm not feeling well at all,” he finally said. “I'm leaving for abroad immediately. This cold is really getting to me. What name did you mention?” And he kept the handkerchief pressed against his mouth.

Mr. Ventnor repeated:

Mr. Ventnor said again:

“Larne. Writes stories.”

"Larne. Writes stories."

Joe Pillin muttered into his handkerchief

Joe Pillin mumbled into his handkerchief

“Ali! H'm! No—I—no! My son knows all sorts of people. I shall have to try Mentone. Are you going? Good-bye! Good-bye! I'm sorry; ah! ha! My cough—ah! ha h'h'.! Very distressing. Ye-hes! My cough-ah! ha h'h'.! Most distressing. Ye-hes!”

“Ali! Hmm! No—I—no! My son knows all kinds of people. I need to check out Mentone. Are you going? Bye! Bye! I'm sorry; oh! ha! My cough—oh! ha ha! So annoying. Yes! My cough—oh! ha ha! Really annoying. Yes!”

Out in the drive Mr. Ventnor took a deep breath of the frosty air. Not much doubt now! The two names had worked like charms. This weakly old fellow would make a pretty witness, would simply crumple under cross-examination. What a contrast to that hoary old sinner Heythorp, whose brazenness nothing could affect. The rat was as large as life! And the only point was how to make the best use of it. Then—for his experience was wide—the possibility dawned on him, that after all, this Mrs. Larne might only have been old Pillin's mistress—or be his natural daughter, or have some other blackmailing hold on him. Any such connection would account for his agitation, for his denying her, for his son's ignorance. Only it wouldn't account for young Pillin's saying that old Heythorp had made the settlement. He could only have got that from the woman herself. Still, to make absolutely sure, he had better try and see her. But how? It would never do to ask Bob Pillin for an introduction, after this interview with his father. He would have to go on his own and chance it. Wrote stories did she? Perhaps a newspaper would know her address; or the Directory would give it—not a common name! And, hot on the scent, he drove to a post office. Yes, there it was, right enough! “Larne, Mrs. R., 23, Millicent Villas.” And thinking to himself: 'No time like the present,' he turned in that direction. The job was delicate. He must be careful not to do anything which might compromise his power of making public use of his knowledge. Yes-ticklish! What he did now must have a proper legal bottom. Still, anyway you looked at it, he had a right to investigate a fraud on himself as a shareholder of “The Island Navigation Company,” and a fraud on himself as a creditor of old Heythorp. Quite! But suppose this Mrs. Larne was really entangled with old Pillin, and the settlement a mere reward of virtue, easy or otherwise. Well! in that case there'd be no secret commission to make public, and he needn't go further. So that, in either event, he would be all right. Only—how to introduce himself? He might pretend he was a newspaper man wanting a story. No, that wouldn't do! He must not represent that he was what he was not, in case he had afterwards to justify his actions publicly, always a difficult thing, if you were not careful! At that moment there came into his mind a question Bob Pillin had asked the other night. “By the way, you can't borrow on a settlement, can you? Isn't there generally some clause against it?” Had this woman been trying to borrow from him on that settlement? But at this moment he reached the house, and got out of his cab still undecided as to how he was going to work the oracle. Impudence, constitutional and professional, sustained him in saying to the little maid:

Out in the driveway, Mr. Ventnor took a deep breath of the chilly air. No doubt about it now! The two names had worked like magic. This frail old man would make a perfect witness; he would practically crumble under cross-examination. What a contrast to that old rascal Heythorp, whose audacity was unshakable. The rat was alive and well! The only question was how to make the best of it. Then, drawing from his extensive experience, he realized that Mrs. Larne might just be old Pillin's mistress—or possibly his natural daughter, or have some other blackmailing leverage over him. Any connection like that would explain his nervousness, his denial of her, and his son's ignorance. But it still didn’t explain young Pillin saying that old Heythorp had set up the settlement. He could only have gotten that information directly from the woman. Still, to be absolutely certain, he should try to see her. But how? It wouldn’t do to ask Bob Pillin for an introduction after that conversation with his father. He would have to go solo and take his chances. She wrote stories? Maybe a newspaper would know her address; the Directory might provide it—definitely not a common name! And, focused on the task, he drove to a post office. Yes, there it was—“Larne, Mrs. R., 23, Millicent Villas.” And thinking to himself, 'No time like the present,' he headed that way. The task was delicate. He needed to be careful not to do anything that might jeopardize his ability to use his knowledge publicly. Definitely tricky! Everything he did now had to be legally sound. However, no matter how you looked at it, he had the right to investigate a fraud against himself as a shareholder of “The Island Navigation Company” and a fraud against himself as a creditor of old Heythorp. Exactly! But suppose this Mrs. Larne really was connected to old Pillin, and the settlement was just a reward for service, however innocent or otherwise. In that case, there wouldn't be any secret commission to expose, so he wouldn't need to dig deeper. So, in either scenario, he would be in the clear. The only issue was—how to introduce himself? He could pretend to be a newspaper reporter looking for a story. No, that wouldn’t work! He must not pretend to be someone he wasn’t, in case he later had to justify his actions publicly, which was always complicated if you weren’t careful! At that moment, a question Bob Pillin had asked the other night came to his mind. “By the way, you can’t borrow against a settlement, can you? Isn’t there usually a clause against it?” Had this woman been trying to borrow from him using that settlement? But just then, he arrived at the house and got out of his cab still unsure of how he would approach this situation. Confidence, both natural and professional, empowered him as he spoke to the little maid:

“Mrs. Larne at home? Say Mr. Charles Ventnor, will you?”

“Is Mrs. Larne at home? Could you let Mr. Charles Ventnor know?”

His quick brown eyes took in the apparel of the passage which served for hall—the deep blue paper on the walls, lilac-patterned curtains over the doors, the well-known print of a nude young woman looking over her shoulder, and he thought: 'H'm! Distinctly tasty!' They noted, too, a small brown-and-white dog cowering in terror at the very end of the passage, and he murmured affably: “Fluffy! Come here, Fluffy!” till Carmen's teeth chattered in her head.

His quick brown eyes took in the decor of the hallway—the deep blue wallpaper, lilac-patterned curtains over the doors, and the familiar print of a nude young woman looking over her shoulder, and he thought: 'H'm! Quite stylish!' He also noticed a small brown-and-white dog cowering in fear at the very end of the hallway, and he said kindly: “Fluffy! Come here, Fluffy!” until Carmen's teeth chattered in her head.

“Will you come in, sir?”

"Will you come in, sir?"

Mr. Ventnor ran his hand over his whiskers, and, entering a room, was impressed at once by its air of domesticity. On a sofa a handsome woman and a pretty young girl were surrounded by sewing apparatus and some white material. The girl looked up, but the elder lady rose.

Mr. Ventnor ran his hand over his beard and, stepping into a room, was immediately struck by its cozy vibe. On a sofa, a beautiful woman and a pretty young girl were surrounded by sewing tools and some white fabric. The girl looked up, but the older woman stood up.

Mr. Ventnor said easily

Mr. Ventnor said casually

“You know my young friend, Mr. Robert Pillin, I think.”

“You know my young friend, Mr. Robert Pillin, I believe.”

The lady, whose bulk and bloom struck him to the point of admiration, murmured in a full, sweet drawl:

The woman, whose size and beauty impressed him greatly, spoke in a rich, pleasant drawl:

“Oh! Ye-es. Are you from Messrs. Scrivens?”

“Oh! Yes. Are you from Messrs. Scrivens?”

With the swift reflection: 'As I thought!' Mr. Ventnor answered:

With a quick realization, Mr. Ventnor responded, "Just as I thought!"

“Er—not exactly. I am a solicitor though; came just to ask about a certain settlement that Mr. Pillin tells me you're entitled under.”

“Uh—not exactly. I am a lawyer though; I just came to ask about a certain settlement that Mr. Pillin mentioned you’re entitled to.”

“Phyllis dear!”

“Hey, Phyllis!”

Seeing the girl about to rise from underneath the white stuff, Mr. Ventnor said quickly:

Seeing the girl about to get up from under the white stuff, Mr. Ventnor quickly said:

“Pray don't disturb yourself—just a formality!” It had struck him at once that the lady would have to speak the truth in the presence of this third party, and he went on: “Quite recent, I think. This'll be your first interest-on six thousand pounds? Is that right?” And at the limpid assent of that rich, sweet voice, he thought: 'Fine woman; what eyes!'

“Please don’t worry—just a formality!” It had immediately occurred to him that the woman would have to be honest with this third party present, and he continued: “Very recent, I believe. This will be your first interest—on six thousand pounds? Is that correct?” And at the clear agreement of that rich, sweet voice, he thought: 'What a splendid woman; what beautiful eyes!'

“Thank you; that's quite enough. I can go to Scrivens for any detail. Nice young fellow, Bob Pillin, isn't he?” He saw the girl's chin tilt, and Mrs. Larne's full mouth curling in a smile.

“Thanks; that's more than enough. I can ask Scrivens for any details. Nice young guy, Bob Pillin, right?” He noticed the girl’s chin lift and Mrs. Larne’s full mouth curving into a smile.

“Delightful young man; we're very fond of him.”

“Lovely young guy; we really like him.”

And he proceeded:

And he continued:

“I'm quite an old friend of his; have you known him long?”

“I'm a pretty old friend of his; have you known him for a while?”

“Oh! no. How long, Phyllis, since we met him at Guardy's? About a month. But he's so unaffected—quite at home with us. A nice fellow.”

“Oh! No. How long has it been, Phyllis, since we saw him at Guardy's? About a month. But he's so down-to-earth—completely at ease with us. A nice guy.”

Mr. Ventnor murmured:

Mr. Ventnor whispered:

“Very different from his father, isn't he?”

“He's very different from his dad, isn’t he?”

“Is he? We don't know his father; he's a shipowner, I think.”

“Is he? We don't know his dad; I think he's a ship owner.”

Mr. Ventnor rubbed his hands: “Ye-es,” he said, “just giving up—a warm man. Young Pillin's a lucky fellow—only son. So you met him at old Mr. Heythorp's. I know him too—relation of yours, I believe.”

Mr. Ventnor rubbed his hands: “Yes,” he said, “just giving up—a warm man. Young Pillin's a lucky guy—only son. So you met him at old Mr. Heythorp's. I know him too—relative of yours, I believe.”

“Our dear Guardy such a wonderful man.”

“Our dear Guardy is such a wonderful man.”

Mr. Ventnor echoed: “Wonderful—regular old Roman.”

Mr. Ventnor replied, “Wonderful—just like the good old Romans.”

“Oh! but he's so kind!” Mrs. Larne lifted the white stuff: “Look what he's given this naughty gairl!”

“Oh! But he's so nice!” Mrs. Larne lifted the white stuff: “Look what he's given this naughty girl!”

Mr. Ventnor murmured: “Charming! Charming! Bob Pillin said, I think, that Mr. Heythorp was your settlor.”

Mr. Ventnor said quietly, “Lovely! Lovely! I believe Bob Pillin mentioned that Mr. Heythorp was your settlor.”

One of those little clouds which visit the brows of women who have owed money in their time passed swiftly athwart Mrs. Larne's eyes. For a moment they seemed saying: 'Don't you want to know too much?' Then they slid from under it.

One of those little clouds that sometimes cross the faces of women who have borrowed money in the past quickly passed across Mrs. Larne's eyes. For a moment, they seemed to be saying, "Don't you want to know too much?" Then they disappeared.

“Won't you sit down?” she said. “You must forgive our being at work.”

“Won't you take a seat?” she said. “You have to excuse us for being busy.”

Mr. Ventnor, who had need of sorting his impressions, shook his head.

Mr. Ventnor, who needed to sort through his thoughts, shook his head.

“Thank you; I must be getting on. Then Messrs. Scriven can—a mere formality! Goodbye! Good-bye, Miss Larne. I'm sure the dress will be most becoming.”

“Thank you; I have to get going. Then Mr. Scriven can—a mere formality! Goodbye! Bye, Miss Larne. I’m sure the dress will look great on you.”

And with memories of a too clear look from the girl's eyes, of a warm firm pressure from the woman's hand, Mr. Ventnor backed towards the door and passed away just in time to avoid hearing in two voices:

And with memories of a piercing gaze from the girl, and the warm, reassuring grip of the woman's hand, Mr. Ventnor stepped back toward the door and left just in time to avoid hearing two voices:

“What a nice lawyer!”

"Such a great lawyer!"

“What a horrid man!”

“What a terrible guy!”

Back in his cab, he continued to rub his hands. No, she didn't know old Pillin! That was certain; not from her words, but from her face. She wanted to know him, or about him, anyway. She was trying to hook young Bob for that sprig of a girl—it was clear as mud. H'm! it would astonish his young friend to hear that he had called. Well, let it! And a curious mixture of emotions beset Mr. Ventnor. He saw the whole thing now so plainly, and really could not refrain from a certain admiration. The law had been properly diddled! There was nothing to prevent a man from settling money on a woman he had never seen; and so old Pillin's settlement could probably not be upset. But old Heythorp could. It was neat, though, oh! neat! And that was a fine woman—remarkably! He had a sort of feeling that if only the settlement had been in danger, it might have been worth while to have made a bargain—a woman like that could have made it worth while! And he believed her quite capable of entertaining the proposition! Her eye! Pity—quite a pity! Mrs. Ventnor was not a wife who satisfied every aspiration. But alas! the settlement was safe. This baulking of the sentiment of love, whipped up, if anything, the longing for justice in Mr. Ventnor. That old chap should feel his teeth now. As a piece of investigation it was not so bad—not so bad at all! He had had a bit of luck, of course,—no, not luck—just that knack of doing the right thing at the right moment which marks a real genius for affairs.

Back in his cab, he kept rubbing his hands. No, she didn’t know old Pillin! That much was clear—not from her words, but from her expression. She wanted to know him, or at least about him. She was trying to snag young Bob for that young girl—it was as obvious as day. H'm! It would shock his young friend to find out he had called. Well, let it! A strange mix of emotions hit Mr. Ventnor. He saw the whole situation so clearly now and really couldn’t help but admire it. The law had been cleverly outsmarted! There was nothing stopping a man from giving money to a woman he had never met; so old Pillin’s settlement would probably hold up. But old Heythorp could be a different story. It was clever, though, oh so clever! And that was a remarkable woman—truly! He had a feeling that if the settlement had been in jeopardy, it might have been worth it to make a

But getting into his train to return to Mrs. Ventnor, he thought: 'A woman like that would have been—!' And he sighed.

But as he boarded the train to head back to Mrs. Ventnor, he thought, 'A woman like that would have been—!' And he sighed.





2

With a neatly written cheque for fifty pounds in his pocket Bob Pillin turned in at 23, Millicent Villas on the afternoon after Mr. Ventnor's visit. Chivalry had won the day. And he rang the bell with an elation which astonished him, for he knew he was doing a soft thing.

With a neatly written check for fifty pounds in his pocket, Bob Pillin walked up to 23 Millicent Villas the afternoon after Mr. Ventnor's visit. Chivalry had triumphed. He rang the bell with a sense of joy that surprised him, knowing he was doing something sentimental.

“Mrs. Larne is out, sir; Miss Phyllis is at home.”

“Mrs. Larne is out, sir; Miss Phyllis is at home.”

His heart leaped.

His heart raced.

“Oh-h! I'm sorry. I wonder if she'd see me?”

“Oh, I'm sorry. Do you think she would see me?”

The little maid answered

The young maid responded

“I think she's been washin' 'er'air, sir, but it may be dry be now. I'll see.”

“I think she's been washing her hair, sir, but it might be dry by now. I'll check.”

Bob Pillin stood stock still beneath the young woman on the wall. He could scarcely breathe. If her hair were not dry—how awful! Suddenly he heard floating down a clear but smothered “Oh! Gefoozleme!” and other words which he could not catch. The little maid came running down.

Bob Pillin stood frozen beneath the young woman on the wall. He could barely breathe. If her hair weren't dry—how terrible! Suddenly, he heard a muffled, clear “Oh! Gefoozleme!” along with other words he couldn't make out. The little girl came running down.

“Miss Phyllis says, sir, she'll be with you in a jiffy. And I was to tell you that Master Jock is loose, sir.”

“Miss Phyllis says, sir, she'll be with you in a minute. And I was supposed to tell you that Master Jock is free, sir.”

Bob Pillin answered “Tha-anks,” and passed into the drawing-room. He went to the bureau, took an envelope, enclosed the cheque, and addressing it: “Mrs. Larne,” replaced it in his pocket. Then he crossed over to the mirror. Never till this last month had he really doubted his own face; but now he wanted for it things he had never wanted. It had too much flesh and colour. It did not reflect his passion. This was a handicap. With a narrow white piping round his waistcoat opening, and a buttonhole of tuberoses, he had tried to repair its deficiencies. But do what he would, he was never easy about himself nowadays, never up to that pitch which could make him confident in her presence. And until this month to lack confidence had never been his wont. A clear, high, mocking voice said:

Bob Pillin replied, “Thanks,” and walked into the living room. He approached the desk, took an envelope, put the check inside, and addressed it to “Mrs. Larne,” then tucked it back into his pocket. He then moved over to the mirror. Until this past month, he had never really doubted his own looks; but now he found himself wanting things he had never desired before. He felt he had too much flesh and color. It didn’t reflect his passion. This was a setback. With a narrow white piping around the opening of his waistcoat and a tuberose boutonniere, he had tried to fix its shortcomings. But no matter what he did, he couldn’t shake the unease he felt about himself these days, never reaching that level of confidence that would make him feel secure around her. Until this month, a lack of confidence had never been his style. A clear, high, mocking voice said:

“Oh-h! Conceited young man!”

“Oh wow! Conceited young man!”

And spinning round he saw Phyllis in the doorway. Her light brown hair was fluffed out on her shoulders, so that he felt a kind of fainting-sweet sensation, and murmured inarticulately:

And turning around, he saw Phyllis in the doorway. Her light brown hair was styled out on her shoulders, making him feel a kind of dizzying sweetness, and he murmured incoherently:

“Oh! I say—how jolly!”

“Oh! I say—how awesome!”

“Lawks! It's awful! Have you come to see mother?”

“Wow! This is terrible! Did you come to see Mom?”

Balanced between fear and daring, conscious of a scent of hay and verbena and camomile, Bob Pillin stammered:

Balanced between fear and daring, aware of a scent of hay, verbena, and chamomile, Bob Pillin stammered:

“Ye-es. I—I'm glad she's not in, though.”

“Yeah. I'm glad she's not in, though.”

Her laugh seemed to him terribly unfeeling.

Her laugh felt incredibly cold to him.

“Oh! oh! Don't be foolish. Sit down. Isn't washing one's head awful?”

“Oh! oh! Don't be silly. Sit down. Isn't washing your hair just terrible?”

Bob Pillin answered feebly:

Bob Pillin replied weakly:

“Of course, I haven't much experience.”

“Of course, I don't have much experience.”

Her mouth opened.

She opened her mouth.

“Oh! You are—aren't you?”

“Oh! You are—aren't you?”

And he thought desperately: 'Dare I—oughtn't I—couldn't I somehow take her hand or put my arm round her, or something?' Instead, he sat very rigid at his end of the sofa, while she sat lax and lissom at the other, and one of those crises of paralysis which beset would-be lovers fixed him to the soul.

And he thought frantically, 'Should I—could I—can I somehow take her hand or put my arm around her or something?' Instead, he sat stiffly at his end of the sofa, while she sat relaxed and graceful at the other, and one of those moments of paralysis that strikes would-be lovers froze him in place.

Sometimes during this last month memories of a past existence, when chaff and even kisses came readily to the lips, and girls were fair game, would make him think: 'Is she really such an innocent? Doesn't she really want me to kiss her?' Alas! such intrusions lasted but a moment before a blast of awe and chivalry withered them, and a strange and tragic delicacy—like nothing he had ever known—resumed its sway. And suddenly he heard her say:

Sometimes during this last month, memories of a past life, when flirting and even kisses came easily, and girls were open to attention, would make him wonder: 'Is she really that innocent? Doesn’t she actually want me to kiss her?' Unfortunately, those thoughts lasted only a moment before a wave of respect and honor shut them down, and a strange, tragic sensitivity—like nothing he had ever experienced—took over again. And suddenly he heard her say:

“Why do you know such awful men?”

“Why do you hang out with such terrible guys?”

“What? I don't know any awful men.”

“What? I don’t know any horrible guys.”

“Oh yes, you do; one came here yesterday; he had whiskers, and he was awful.”

“Oh yes, you do; one came here yesterday; he had a beard, and he was terrible.”

“Whiskers?” His soul revolted in disclaimer. “I believe I only know one man with whiskers—a lawyer.”

“Whiskers?” His soul fought back in protest. “I think I only know one guy with whiskers—a lawyer.”

“Yes—that was him; a perfectly horrid man. Mother didn't mind him, but I thought he was a beast.”

“Yes—that was him; a truly awful man. Mom didn't care about him, but I thought he was terrible.”

“Ventnor! Came here? How d'you mean?”

“Ventnor! You came here? What do you mean?”

“He did; about some business of yours, too.” Her face had clouded over. Bob Pillin had of late been harassed by the still-born beginning of a poem:

“He did; about some business of yours, too.” Her expression had turned dark. Bob Pillin had recently been troubled by the half-formed start of a poem:

         “I rode upon my way and saw
          A maid who watched me from the door.”
 
“I rode on my way and saw a girl who was watching me from the door.”

It never grew longer, and was prompted by the feeling that her face was like an April day. The cloud which came on it now was like an April cloud, as if a bright shower of rain must follow. Brushing aside the two distressful lines, he said:

It never got any longer, and it was triggered by the feeling that her face was like an April day. The cloud that came over it now was like an April cloud, as though a sunny shower of rain was about to follow. Brushing aside the two worrying lines, he said:

“Look here, Miss Larne—Phyllis—look here!”

"Check this out, Miss Larne—Phyllis—look here!"

“All right, I'm looking!”

"Okay, I'm looking!"

“What does it mean—how did he come? What did he say?”

“What does it mean—how did he arrive? What did he say?”

She shook her head, and her hair quivered; the scent of camomile, verbena, hay was wafted; then looking at her lap, she muttered:

She shook her head, and her hair trembled; the scent of chamomile, verbena, and hay filled the air; then, glancing at her lap, she mumbled:

“I wish you wouldn't—I wish mother wouldn't—I hate it. Oh! Money! Beastly—beastly!” and a tearful sigh shivered itself into Bob Pillin's reddening ears.

“I wish you wouldn't—I wish mom wouldn't—I hate it. Oh! Money! Horrible—horrible!” and a tearful sigh shivered into Bob Pillin's reddening ears.

“I say—don't! And do tell me, because—”

“I say—don’t! And please tell me, because—”

“Oh! you know.”

“Oh! You know.”

“I don't—I don't know anything at all. I never—-”

“I don't—I don't know anything at all. I never—-”

Phyllis looked up at him. “Don't tell fibs; you know mother's borrowing money from you, and it's hateful!”

Phyllis looked up at him. “Don't lie; you know mom's borrowing money from you, and it's awful!”

A desire to lie roundly, a sense of the cheque in his pocket, a feeling of injustice, the emotion of pity, and a confused and black astonishment about Ventnor, caused Bob Pillin to stammer:

A wish to lounge around, a sense of the money in his pocket, a feeling of unfairness, the emotion of sympathy, and a mix of confusion and shock about Ventnor made Bob Pillin stammer:

“Well, I'm d—-d!” and to miss the look which Phyllis gave him through her lashes—a look saying:

“Well, I'm damned!” and to miss the look that Phyllis gave him through her lashes—a look saying:

“Ah! that's better!”

"Ah! That's much better!"

“I am d—-d! Look here! D'you mean to say that Ventnor came here about my lending money? I never said a word to him—-”

“I am done for! Look here! Are you saying that Ventnor came here about me lending money? I never said a word to him—”

“There you see—you are lending!”

"You see, you are lending!"

He clutched his hair.

He gripped his hair.

“We've got to have this out,” he added.

“We need to resolve this,” he added.

“Not by the roots! Oh! you do look funny. I've never seen you with your hair untidy. Oh! oh!”

“Not by the roots! Oh! you look so strange. I’ve never seen you with your hair messy. Oh! oh!”

Bob Pillin rose and paced the room. In the midst of his emotion he could not help seeing himself sidelong in the mirror; and on pretext of holding his head in both his hands, tried earnestly to restore his hair. Then coming to a halt he said:

Bob Pillin stood up and paced the room. In the heat of his feelings, he couldn’t help but catch a glimpse of himself in the mirror; pretending to hold his head in his hands, he made a serious effort to fix his hair. Then, stopping abruptly, he said:

“Suppose I am lending money to your mother, what does it matter? It's only till quarter-day. Anybody might want money.”

“Let’s say I’m lending your mom some money, what’s the big deal? It’s just until payday. Anyone could need cash.”

Phyllis did not raise her face.

Phyllis didn't look up.

“Why are you lending it?”

“Why are you loaning it?”

“Because—because—why shouldn't I?” and diving suddenly, he seized her hands.

“Because—because—why shouldn't I?” he said suddenly, diving in and grabbing her hands.

She wrenched them free; and with the emotion of despair, Bob Pillin took out the envelope.

She yanked them free, and feeling overwhelmed with despair, Bob Pillin pulled out the envelope.

“If you like,” he said, “I'll tear this up. I don't want to lend it, if you don't want me to; but I thought—I thought—” It was for her alone he had been going to lend this money!

“If you want,” he said, “I’ll just rip this up. I don’t want to lend it if you don’t want me to; but I thought—I thought—” It was for her alone that he had been planning to lend this money!

Phyllis murmured through her hair:

Phyllis whispered through her hair:

“Yes! You thought that I—that's what's so hateful!”

“Yes! You thought that I—that’s what’s so awful!”

Apprehension pierced his mind.

Anxiety pierced his mind.

“Oh! I never—I swear I never—”

“Oh! I never—I promise I never—”

“Yes, you did; you thought I wanted you to lend it.”

“Yes, you did; you thought I wanted you to lend it.”

She jumped up, and brushed past him into the window.

She jumped up and brushed past him to the window.

So she thought she was being used as a decoy! That was awful—especially since it was true. He knew well enough that Mrs. Larne was working his admiration for her daughter for all that it was worth. And he said with simple fervour:

So she thought she was being used as bait! That was terrible—especially since it was true. He knew perfectly well that Mrs. Larne was exploiting his admiration for her daughter for all it was worth. And he said with genuine passion:

“What rot!” It produced no effect, and at his wits' end, he almost shouted: “Look, Phyllis! If you don't want me to—here goes!” Phyllis turned. Tearing the envelope across he threw the bits into the fire. “There it is,” he said.

“What nonsense!” It had no effect, and feeling desperate, he nearly yelled: “Look, Phyllis! If you don’t want me to—here I go!” Phyllis turned. Ripping the envelope in half, he tossed the pieces into the fire. “There it is,” he said.

Her eyes grew round; she said in an awed voice: “Oh!”

Her eyes widened; she said in a amazed voice: “Oh!”

In a sort of agony of honesty he said:

In a painful moment of truth, he said:

“It was only a cheque. Now you've got your way.”

“It was just a check. Now you got your way.”

Staring at the fire she answered slowly:

Staring at the fire, she replied slowly:

“I expect you'd better go before mother comes.”

“I think you should leave before mom gets here.”

Bob Pillin's mouth fell afar; he secretly agreed, but the idea of sacrificing a moment alone with her was intolerable, and he said hardily:

Bob Pillin's jaw dropped; he secretly agreed, but the thought of giving up a moment alone with her was unbearable, and he said boldly:

“No, I shall stick it!”

“No, I’ll stick with it!”

Phyllis sneezed.

Phyllis sneezed.

“My hair isn't a bit dry,” and she sat down on the fender with her back to the fire.

“My hair isn't dry at all,” she said as she sat down on the fender with her back to the fire.

A certain spirituality had come into Bob Pillin's face. If only he could get that wheeze off: “Phyllis is my only joy!” or even: “Phyllis—do you—won't you—mayn't I?” But nothing came—nothing.

A certain spirituality had appeared in Bob Pillin's face. If only he could shake off that wheeze: “Phyllis is my only joy!” or even: “Phyllis—do you—won't you—mayn't I?” But nothing came—nothing.

And suddenly she said:

And then she said:

“Oh! don't breathe so loud; it's awful!”

“Oh! don't breathe so loudly; it's terrible!”

“Breathe? I wasn't!”

“Breathe? I didn't!”

“You were; just like Carmen when she's dreaming.”

“You were; just like Carmen when she dreams.”

He had walked three steps towards the door, before he thought: 'What does it matter? I can stand anything from her; and walked the three steps back again.

He had taken three steps toward the door when he thought, 'What does it matter? I can handle anything from her,' and walked the three steps back again.

She said softly:

She said gently:

“Poor young man!”

“Poor guy!”

He answered gloomily:

He replied sadly:

“I suppose you realise that this may be the last time you'll see me?”

“I guess you know that this might be the last time you see me?”

“Why? I thought you were going to take us to the theatre.”

“Why? I thought you were going to take us to the theater.”

“I don't know whether your mother will—after—-”

“I don't know if your mom will—after—-”

Phyllis gave a little clear laugh.

Phyllis let out a light, clear laugh.

“You don't know mother. Nothing makes any difference to her.”

“You don’t know mom. Nothing matters to her.”

And Bob Pillin muttered:

And Bob Pillin mumbled:

“I see.” He did not, but it was of no consequence. Then the thought of Ventnor again ousted all others. What on earth-how on earth! He searched his mind for what he could possibly have said the other night. Surely he had not asked him to do anything; certainly not given him their address. There was something very odd about it that had jolly well got to be cleared up! And he said:

“I get it.” He didn’t, but that didn’t matter. Then the thought of Ventnor pushed everything else aside. What on earth—how on earth! He racked his brain trying to remember what he could have possibly said the other night. There was no way he had asked him to do anything; he definitely hadn’t given him their address. There was something really strange about it that absolutely needed to be sorted out! And he said:

“Are you sure the name of that Johnny who came here yesterday was Ventnor?”

“Are you sure the name of that guy Johnny who came here yesterday was Ventnor?”

Phyllis nodded.

Phyllis agreed.

“And he was short, and had whiskers?”

"And he was short and had a beard?"

“Yes; red, and red eyes.”

"Yes; red, and red eyes."

He murmured reluctantly:

He said softly:

“It must be him. Jolly good cheek; I simply can't understand. I shall go and see him. How on earth did he know your address?”

“It has to be him. What a bold move; I just can't get it. I'm going to go see him. How did he even find out your address?”

“I expect you gave it him.”

“I expect you gave it to him.”

“I did not. I won't have you thinking me a squirt.”

“I didn’t. I won’t let you think I’m a loser.”

Phyllis jumped up. “Oh! Lawks! Here's mother!” Mrs. Larne was coming up the garden. Bob Pillin made for the door. “Good-bye,” he said; “I'm going.” But Mrs. Larne was already in the hall. Enveloping him in fur and her rich personality, she drew him with her into the drawing-room, where the back window was open and Phyllis gone.

Phyllis jumped up. “Oh! Wow! Here comes Mom!” Mrs. Larne was walking up the garden. Bob Pillin headed for the door. “See you,” he said; “I'm leaving.” But Mrs. Larne was already in the hall. Surrounding him in her fur coat and vibrant personality, she pulled him with her into the living room, where the back window was open and Phyllis was gone.

“I hope,” she said, “those naughty children have been making you comfortable. That nice lawyer of yours came yesterday. He seemed quite satisfied.”

“I hope,” she said, “those mischievous kids have been making you comfortable. That nice lawyer of yours came by yesterday. He seemed pretty satisfied.”

Very red above his collar, Bob Pillin stammered:

Very red above his collar, Bob Pillin stammered:

“I never told him to; he isn't my lawyer. I don't know what it means.”

“I never asked him to; he’s not my lawyer. I don’t know what that means.”

Mrs. Larne smiled. “My dear boy, it's all right. You needn't be so squeamish. I want it to be quite on a business footing.”

Mrs. Larne smiled. “My dear boy, it’s all good. You don’t need to be so uneasy. I want it to be completely professional.”

Restraining a fearful inclination to blurt out: “It's not going to be on any footing!” Bob Pillin mumbled: “I must go; I'm late.”

Restraining a scared urge to shout, “It’s not going to happen!” Bob Pillin mumbled, “I have to go; I’m late.”

“And when will you be able—-?”

“And when will you be able to—?”

“Oh! I'll—I'll send—I'll write. Good-bye!” And suddenly he found that Mrs. Larne had him by the lapel of his coat. The scent of violets and fur was overpowering, and the thought flashed through him: 'I believe she only wanted to take money off old Joseph in the Bible. I can't leave my coat in her hands! What shall I do?'

“Oh! I’ll—I’ll send—I’ll write. Goodbye!” And suddenly he realized that Mrs. Larne had a grip on the lapel of his coat. The smell of violets and fur was overwhelming, and he thought, 'I think she just wanted to get money from old Joseph in the Bible. I can’t leave my coat in her hands! What should I do?'

Mrs. Larne was murmuring:

Mrs. Larne was whispering:

“It would be so sweet of you if you could manage it today”; and her hand slid over his chest. “Oh! You have brought your cheque-book—what a nice boy!”

“It would be so nice of you if you could take care of that today,” she said, her hand sliding over his chest. “Oh! You brought your checkbook—what a good guy!”

Bob Pillin took it out in desperation, and, sitting down at the bureau, wrote a cheque similar to that which he had torn and burned. A warm kiss lighted on his eyebrow, his head was pressed for a moment to a furry bosom; a hand took the cheque; a voice said: “How delightful!” and a sigh immersed him in a bath of perfume. Backing to the door, he gasped:

Bob Pillin took it out in desperation and, sitting down at the dresser, wrote a check just like the one he had ripped up and burned. A warm kiss landed on his eyebrow, his head was pressed for a moment against a soft chest; a hand took the check; a voice said, “How delightful!” and a sigh surrounded him with a cloud of perfume. As he backed toward the door, he gasped:

“Don't mention it; and—and don't tell Phyllis, please. Good-bye!”

“Don't mention it; and—and please don't tell Phyllis. Goodbye!”

Once through the garden gate, he thought: 'By gum! I've done it now. That Phyllis should know about it at all! That beast Ventnor!'

Once he passed through the garden gate, he thought: 'Wow! I've really done it now. That Phyllis should know about this at all! That jerk Ventnor!'

His face grew almost grim. He would go and see what that meant anyway!

His expression turned serious. He was going to check out what that meant, no matter what!





3

Mr. Ventnor had not left his office when his young friend's card was brought to him. Tempted for a moment to deny his own presence, he thought: 'No! What's the good? Bound to see him some time!' If he had not exactly courage, he had that peculiar blend of self-confidence and insensibility which must needs distinguish those who follow the law; nor did he ever forget that he was in the right.

Mr. Ventnor hadn't left his office when his young friend's card was delivered to him. For a moment, he was tempted to pretend he wasn't there, but he thought, 'Why? I'll have to face him eventually!' While he might not have had true courage, he possessed that unique mix of self-assurance and indifference that usually defines those in the legal profession; and he always remembered that he was in the right.

“Show him in!” he said.

"Let him in!" he said.

He would be quite bland, but young Pillin might whistle for an explanation; he was still tormented, too, by the memory of rich curves and moving lips, and the possibilities of better acquaintanceship.

He might be pretty dull, but young Pillin could still ask for an explanation; he was also still haunted by the memory of attractive curves and moving lips, and the potential for a closer connection.

While shaking the young man's hand his quick and fulvous eye detected at once the discomposure behind that mask of cheek and collar, and relapsing into one of those swivel chairs which give one an advantage over men more statically seated, he said:

While shaking the young man's hand, his sharp, golden-brown eye quickly noticed the unease behind that facade of confidence and collar. As he settled back into one of those swivel chairs that give a person an edge over others sitting more rigidly, he said:

“You look pretty bobbish. Anything I can do for you?”

“You look really good. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Bob Pillin, in the fixed chair of the consultor, nursed his bowler on his knee.

Bob Pillin, sitting in the consultor's fixed chair, rested his bowler hat on his knee.

“Well, yes, there is. I've just been to see Mrs. Larne.”

“Well, yes, there is. I just went to see Mrs. Larne.”

Mr. Ventnor did not flinch.

Mr. Ventnor didn’t flinch.

“Ah! Nice woman; pretty daughter, too!” And into those words he put a certain meaning. He never waited to be bullied. Bob Pillin felt the pressure of his blood increasing.

“Ah! Nice woman; pretty daughter, too!” He infused those words with a particular significance. He never waited to be pushed around. Bob Pillin sensed his blood pressure rising.

“Look here, Ventnor,” he said, “I want an explanation.”

“Listen up, Ventnor,” he said, “I need an explanation.”

“What of?”

"What's up?"

“Why, of your going there, and using my name, and God knows what.”

“Why are you going there, using my name, and God knows what else?”

Mr. Ventnor gave his chair two little twiddles before he said

Mr. Ventnor gave his chair a couple of little twists before he said

“Well, you won't get it.”

"Well, you won't understand."

Bob Pillin remained for a moment taken aback; then he muttered resolutely:

Bob Pillin paused for a moment, surprised; then he said firmly:

“It's not the conduct of a gentleman.”

“That's not how a gentleman should act.”

Every man has his illusions, and no man likes them disturbed. The gingery tint underlying Mr. Ventnor's colouring overlaid it; even the whites of his eyes grew red.

Every man has his illusions, and no man wants them disrupted. The ginger tint underneath Mr. Ventnor's complexion covered it; even the whites of his eyes turned red.

“Oh!” he said; “indeed! You mind your own business, will you?”

“Oh!” he said. “Really! Just mind your own business, okay?”

“It is my business—very much so. You made use of my name, and I don't choose—-”

“It’s definitely my business. You used my name, and I don’t want—”

“The devil you don't! Now, I tell you what—-”

“The devil you don't! Now, let me tell you—”

Mr. Ventnor leaned forward—“you'd better hold your tongue, and not exasperate me. I'm a good-tempered man, but I won't stand your impudence.”

Mr. Ventnor leaned forward—“you'd better keep quiet and not irritate me. I'm a good-natured guy, but I won't put up with your sass.”

Clenching his bowler hat, and only kept in his seat by that sense of something behind, Bob Pillin ejaculated:

Clutching his bowler hat, and holding onto his seat only by a feeling of something behind him, Bob Pillin exclaimed:

“Impudence! That's good—after what you did! Look here, why did you? It's so extraordinary!”

“Cheeky! That's rich—after what you did! Seriously, why did you? It's really something else!”

Mr. Ventnor answered:

Mr. Ventnor replied:

“Oh! is it? You wait a bit, my friend!”

“Oh! Is that so? Just wait a moment, my friend!”

Still more moved by the mystery of this affair, Bob Pillin could only mutter:

Still more intrigued by the mystery of this situation, Bob Pillin could only mumble:

“I never gave you their address; we were only talking about old Heythorp.”

“I never gave you their address; we were just talking about old Heythorp.”

And at the smile which spread between Mr. Ventnor's whiskers, he jumped up, crying:

And at the smile that spread between Mr. Ventnor's whiskers, he jumped up, shouting:

“It's not the thing, and you're not going to put me off. I insist on an explanation.”

“It's not about that, and you're not going to change my mind. I demand an explanation.”

Mr. Ventnor leaned back, crossing his stout legs, joining the tips of his thick fingers. In this attitude he was always self-possessed.

Mr. Ventnor leaned back, crossing his sturdy legs and joining the tips of his thick fingers. In this position, he was always composed.

“You do—do you?”

"You do—right?"

“Yes. You must have had some reason.”

“Yes. You must have had a reason for it.”

Mr. Ventnor gazed up at him.

Mr. Ventnor looked up at him.

“I'll give you a piece of advice, young cock, and charge you nothing for it, too: Ask no questions, and you'll be told no lies. And here's another: Go away before you forget yourself again.”

“I'll give you some advice, young dude, and it won't cost you a thing: Don’t ask any questions, and you won’t hear any lies. And here’s another one: Just leave before you embarrass yourself again.”

The natural stolidity of Bob Pilings face was only just proof against this speech. He said thickly:

The natural seriousness of Bob Piling's face barely held up against this speech. He said slowly:

“If you go there again and use my name, I'll Well, it's lucky for you you're not my age. Anyway I'll relieve you of my acquaintanceship in future. Good-evening!” and he went to the door. Mr. Ventnor had risen.

“If you go there again and use my name, I'll—well, it’s a good thing you’re not my age. Anyway, I won’t associate with you anymore. Good evening!” and he walked to the door. Mr. Ventnor had gotten up.

“Very well,” he said loudly. “Good riddance! You wait and see which boot the leg is on!”

“Alright,” he shouted. “Good riddance! Just wait and see which boot the leg is in!”

But Bob Pillin was gone, leaving the lawyer with a very red face, a very angry heart, and a vague sense of disorder in his speech. Not only Bob Pillin, but his tender aspirations had all left him; he no longer dallied with the memory of Mrs. Larne, but like a man and a Briton thought only of how to get his own back, and punish evildoers. The atrocious words of his young friend, “It's not the conduct of a gentleman,” festered in the heart of one who was made gentle not merely by nature but by Act of Parliament, and he registered a solemn vow to wipe the insult out, if not with blood, with verjuice. It was his duty, and they should d—-d well see him do it!

But Bob Pillin was gone, leaving the lawyer with a really red face, a very angry heart, and a vague sense of confusion in his speech. Not only had Bob Pillin left, but so had his tender hopes; he no longer lingered on the memory of Mrs. Larne, but like a man and a Briton, focused solely on how to get his revenge and punish wrongdoers. The awful words of his young friend, “It's not the behavior of a gentleman,” lingered in the heart of someone who was made gentle not just by nature but also by law, and he made a serious vow to wipe out the insult, if not with blood, then with bitter resentment. It was his duty, and they should damn well see him do it!





IV

Sylvanus Heythorp seldom went to bed before one or rose before eleven. The latter habit alone kept his valet from handing in the resignation which the former habit prompted almost every night.

Sylvanus Heythorp rarely went to bed before one or got up before eleven. Just the second habit was enough to stop his valet from submitting the resignation that the first habit almost always inspired every night.

Propped on his pillows in a crimson dressing-gown, and freshly shaved, he looked more Roman than he ever did, except in his bath. Having disposed of coffee, he was wont to read his letters, and The Morning Post, for he had always been a Tory, and could not stomach paying a halfpenny for his news. Not that there were many letters—when a man has reached the age of eighty, who should write to him, except to ask for money?

Propped up on his pillows in a red robe and freshly shaved, he looked more Roman than he ever did, except when he was in the bath. After finishing his coffee, he usually read his letters and The Morning Post, as he had always been a Tory and couldn’t bring himself to pay a halfpenny for news. Not that there were many letters—at the age of eighty, who would write to him, except to ask for money?

It was Valentine's Day. Through his bedroom window he could see the trees of the park, where the birds were in song, though he could not hear them. He had never been interested in Nature—full-blooded men with short necks seldom are.

It was Valentine's Day. Through his bedroom window, he could see the trees in the park, where the birds were singing, even though he couldn't hear them. He had never been interested in nature—well-built guys with short necks usually aren't.

This morning indeed there were two letters, and he opened that which smelt of something. Inside was a thing like a Christmas card, save that the naked babe had in his hands a bow and arrow, and words coming out of his mouth: “To be your Valentine.” There was also a little pink note with one blue forget-me-not printed at the top. It ran:

This morning, there were two letters, and he opened the one that had a scent to it. Inside was something like a Christmas card, except the naked baby had a bow and arrow in his hands, with words coming out of his mouth: “To be your Valentine.” There was also a small pink note with a blue forget-me-not printed at the top. It said:

“DEAREST GUARDY,—I'm sorry this is such a mangy little valentine; I couldn't go out to get it because I've got a beastly cold, so I asked Jock, and the pig bought this. The satin is simply scrumptious. If you don't come and see me in it some time soon, I shall come and show it to you. I wish I had a moustache, because my top lip feels just like a matchbox, but it's rather ripping having breakfast in bed. Mr. Pillin's taking us to the theatre the day after to-morrow evening. Isn't it nummy! I'm going to have rum and honey for my cold.

“DEAREST GUARDY,—I'm sorry this is such a shabby little valentine; I couldn't go out to get it because I've got a terrible cold, so I asked Jock, and the jerk bought this. The satin is just delicious. If you don’t come and see me in it sometime soon, I’ll come and show it to you. I wish I had a mustache because my top lip feels just like a matchbox, but it’s pretty great having breakfast in bed. Mr. Pillin is taking us to the theater the day after tomorrow evening. Isn’t it exciting! I’m going to have rum and honey for my cold.

“Good-bye,

“Goodbye,

“Your PHYLLIS.”

"Your PHYL."

So this that quivered in his thick fingers, too insensitive to feel it, was a valentine for him!

So this thing that shook in his thick fingers, too numb to feel it, was a valentine for him!

Forty years ago that young thing's grandmother had given him his last. It made him out a very old chap! Forty years ago! Had that been himself living then? And himself, who, as a youth came on the town in 'forty-five? Not a thought, not a feeling the same! They said you changed your body every seven years. The mind with it, too, perhaps! Well, he had come to the last of his bodies, now! And that holy woman had been urging him to take it to Bath, with her face as long as a tea-tray, and some gammon from that doctor of his. Too full a habit—dock his port—no alcohol—might go off in a coma any night! Knock off not he! Rather die any day than turn tee-totaller! When a man had nothing left in life except his dinner, his bottle, his cigar, and the dreams they gave him—these doctors forsooth must want to cut them off! No, no! Carpe diem! while you lived, get something out of it. And now that he had made all the provision he could for those youngsters, his life was no good to any one but himself; and the sooner he went off the better, if he ceased to enjoy what there was left, or lost the power to say: “I'll do this and that, and you be jiggered!” Keep a stiff lip until you crashed, and then go clean! He sounded the bell beside him twice-for Molly, not his man. And when the girl came in, and stood, pretty in her print frock, her fluffy over-fine dark hair escaping from under her cap, he gazed at her in silence.

Forty years ago, that young woman's grandmother had given him his last. It made him feel like a really old man! Forty years ago! Was that really him back then? And him, who, as a young man, came to the city in '45? Not a single thought, not a single feeling is the same! They say you change your body every seven years. Maybe your mind changes too! Well, he had reached the end of his bodies now! And that holy woman had been pushing him to take it to Bath, with her long face like a tea tray, and some nonsense from that doctor of his. Too much of a habit—cut back on the booze—no alcohol—might end up in a coma any night! Not him, though! He’d rather die any day than become a teetotaler! When a man has nothing left in life except his dinner, his drink, his cigar, and the dreams they give him—those doctors, apparently, must want to take that away! No, no! Seize the day! While you’re alive, get something out of it. And now that he had done everything he could for those kids, his life meant nothing to anyone but himself; and the sooner he left, the better, if he stopped enjoying what was left or lost the ability to say: “I’ll do this and that, and you can just deal with it!” Keep your chin up until you crash, and then go out clean! He rang the bell next to him twice—for Molly, not his man. And when the girl came in, standing there pretty in her printed dress, her fluffy, fine dark hair spilling out from under her cap, he looked at her in silence.

“Yes, sirr?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Want to look at you, that's all.”

“Just want to look at you, that's all.”

“Oh I an' I'm not tidy, sirr.”

“Oh, I am not tidy, sir.”

“Never mind. Had your valentine?”

"Forget it. Did you have a Valentine?"

“No, sirr; who would send me one, then?”

“No, sir; who would send me one, then?”

“Haven't you a young man?”

"Don't you have a young man?"

“Well, I might. But he's over in my country.

“Well, I might. But he's over in my country.

“What d'you think of this?”

“What do you think of this?”

He held out the little boy.

He reached out with the little boy.

The girl took the card and scrutinised it reverently; she said in a detached voice:

The girl picked up the card and examined it carefully; she said in a distant voice:

“Indeed, an' ut's pretty, too.”

“Indeed, and it's pretty, too.”

“Would you like it?”

"Do you want it?"

“Oh I if 'tis not taking ut from you.”

“Oh, if it’s not taking it from you.”

Old Heythorp shook his head, and pointed to the dressing-table.

Old Heythorp shook his head and pointed to the vanity.

“Over there—you'll find a sovereign. Little present for a good girl.”

“Over there—you'll find a coin. A little gift for a good girl.”

She uttered a deep sigh. “Oh! sirr, 'tis too much; 'tis kingly.”

She let out a deep sigh. “Oh! Sir, it’s too much; it’s royal.”

“Take it.”

"Take it."

She took it, and came back, her hands clasping the sovereign and the valentine, in an attitude as of prayer.

She took it and came back, her hands holding the coin and the valentine, in a gesture like she was praying.

The old man's gaze rested on her with satisfaction.

The old man looked at her with satisfaction.

“I like pretty faces—can't bear sour ones. Tell Meller to get my bath ready.”

“I like beautiful faces—I can't stand ugly ones. Tell Meller to prepare my bath.”

When she had gone he took up the other letter—some lawyer's writing, and opening it with the usual difficulty, read:

When she left, he picked up the other letter—some lawyer's handwriting, and after struggling a bit to open it, he read:

“February 13, 1905.

February 13, 1905.

“SIR,—Certain facts having come to my knowledge, I deem it my duty to call a special meeting of the shareholders of 'The Island Navigation Coy.,' to consider circumstances in connection with the purchase of Mr. Joseph Pillin's fleet. And I give you notice that at this meeting your conduct will be called in question.

“SIR,—I have come across certain facts, and I feel it is my responsibility to call a special meeting of the shareholders of 'The Island Navigation Co.' to discuss issues related to the purchase of Mr. Joseph Pillin's fleet. I also want to inform you that your actions will be questioned at this meeting.”

“I am, Sir,

"I'm here, Sir,"

“Yours faithfully,

Best regards,

“CHARLES VENTNOR. “SYLVANUS HEYTHORP,ESQ.”

CHARLES VENTNOR. "SYLVANUS HEYTHORP, ESQ."

Having read this missive, old Heythorp remained some minutes without stirring. Ventnor! That solicitor chap who had made himself unpleasant at the creditors' meetings!

Having read this message, old Heythorp stayed still for a few minutes. Ventnor! That lawyer guy who had been really annoying at the creditors' meetings!

There are men whom a really bad bit of news at once stampedes out of all power of coherent thought and action, and men who at first simply do not take it in. Old Heythorp took it in fast enough; coming from a lawyer it was about as nasty as it could be. But, at once, with stoic wariness his old brain began casting round. What did this fellow really know? And what exactly could he do? One thing was certain; even if he knew everything, he couldn't upset that settlement. The youngsters were all right. The old man grasped the fact that only his own position was at stake. But this was enough in all conscience; a name which had been before the public fifty odd years—income, independence, more perhaps. It would take little, seeing his age and feebleness, to make his Companies throw him over. But what had the fellow got hold of? How decide whether or no to take notice; to let him do his worst, or try and get into touch with him? And what was the fellow's motive? He held ten shares! That would never make a man take all this trouble, and over a purchase which was really first-rate business for the Company. Yes! His conscience was quite clean. He had not betrayed his Company—on the contrary, had done it a good turn, got them four sound ships at a low price—against much opposition. That he might have done the Company a better turn, and got the ships at fifty-four thousand, did not trouble him—the six thousand was a deuced sight better employed; and he had not pocketed a penny piece himself! But the fellow's motive? Spite? Looked like it. Spite, because he had been disappointed of his money, and defied into the bargain! H'm! If that were so, he might still be got to blow cold again. His eyes lighted on the pink note with the blue forget-me-not. It marked as it were the high water mark of what was left to him of life; and this other letter in his hand-by Jove! Low water mark! And with a deep and rumbling sigh he thought: 'No, I'm not going to be beaten by this fellow.'

There are men who, faced with really bad news, immediately lose all ability to think and act coherently, and then there are those who, at first, just can’t take it in. Old Heythorp understood it quickly enough; coming from a lawyer, it was about as unpleasant as it could get. But immediately, with stoic caution, his old mind started figuring things out. What did this guy really know? And what could he actually do? One thing was clear: even if he knew everything, he couldn’t disrupt that settlement. The younger generation was fine. The old man recognized that only his own position was on the line. But that was significant enough; a name that had been in the public eye for over fifty years—income, independence, maybe even more. At his age and frailty, it wouldn’t take much for his Companies to abandon him. But what did this guy have on him? How to decide whether to pay attention or ignore it; to let him do his worst or try to reach out? And what was this guy's motive? He held ten shares! That wouldn’t be enough for someone to go through all this trouble over a purchase that was actually a great deal for the Company. Yes! His conscience was clear. He hadn’t betrayed his Company—on the contrary, he’d done them a solid by getting them four solid ships at a low price—despite a lot of pushback. The fact that he could have done even better and secured the ships for fifty-four thousand didn’t bother him—the six thousand was much better spent; and he hadn’t pocketed a dime himself! But what was this guy’s motive? Spite? It seemed like it. Spite, because he had been let down financially and challenged to boot! H’m! If that’s the case, maybe he could still be turned back. His gaze fell on the pink note with the blue forget-me-not. It seemed to mark the high point of what was left of his life; and this other letter in his hand—by Jove!—the low point! And with a deep, rumbling sigh, he thought: 'No, I’m not going to be beaten by this guy.'

“Your bath is ready, sir.”

"Your bath is ready, sir."

Crumpling the two letters into the pocket of his dressing-gown, he said:

Crumpling the two letters into the pocket of his robe, he said:

“Help me up; and telephone to Mr. Farney to be good enough to come round.” ....

“Help me up, and call Mr. Farney and ask him to come over.”

An hour later, when the secretary entered, his chairman was sitting by the fire perusing the articles of association. And, waiting for him to look up, watching the articles shaking in that thick, feeble hand, the secretary had one of those moments of philosophy not too frequent with his kind. Some said the only happy time of life was when you had no passions, nothing to hope and live for. But did you really ever reach such a stage? The old chairman, for instance, still had his passion for getting his own way, still had his prestige, and set a lot of store by it! And he said:

An hour later, when the secretary walked in, his chairman was sitting by the fire reading the articles of association. As he waited for the chairman to look up, he watched the articles shake in that thick, unsteady hand. In that moment, the secretary experienced one of those rare philosophical insights that didn’t usually come to someone like him. Some people said the only truly happy time in life is when you have no passions, nothing to hope for or live for. But could anyone really ever reach that point? The old chairman, for example, still had his passion for getting his own way, still valued his prestige, and placed a lot of importance on it! And he said:

“Good morning, sir; I hope you're all right in this east wind. The purchase is completed.”

“Good morning, sir; I hope you’re doing well in this east wind. The purchase is complete.”

“Best thing the company ever did. Have you heard from a shareholder called Ventnor. You know the man I mean?”

“Best thing the company ever did. Have you heard from a shareholder named Ventnor? You know who I'm talking about?”

“No, sir. I haven't.”

“No, I haven't, sir.”

“Well! You may get a letter that'll make you open your eyes. An impudent scoundrel! Just write at my dictation.”

“Well! You might receive a letter that will really shock you. An insolent jerk! Just write what I say.”

“February 14th, 1905.

February 14, 1905.

“CHARLES VENTNOR, Esq.

“Charles Ventnor, Esq.”

“SIR,—I have your letter of yesterday's date, the contents of which I am at a loss to understand. My solicitors will be instructed to take the necessary measures.”

“SIR,—I received your letter from yesterday, but I'm not sure I understand it. I will have my lawyers take the necessary steps.”

'Phew What's all this about?' the secretary thought.

'Phew, what's all this about?' the secretary thought.

“Yours truly....”

"Best regards..."

“I'll sign.” And the shaky letters closed the page: “SYLVANUS HEYTHORP.”

“I'll sign.” And the shaky letters filled the page: “SYLVANUS HEYTHORP.”

“Post that as you go.”

“Share that as you go.”

“Anything else I can do for you, sir?”

“Is there anything else I can help you with, sir?”

“Nothing, except to let me know if you hear from this fellow.”

“Just let me know if you hear from this guy.”

When the secretary had gone the old man thought: 'So! The ruffian hasn't called the meeting yet. That'll bring him round here fast enough if it's his money he wants-blackmailing scoundrel!'

When the secretary left, the old man thought: 'So! The jerk hasn't called the meeting yet. That'll bring him here quickly if it's his money he wants—blackmailing scoundrel!'

“Mr. Pillin, sir; and will you wait lunch, or will you have it in the dining-room?”

“Mr. Pillin, sir; will you be having lunch here, or in the dining room?”

“In the dining-room.”

"In the dining room."

At sight of that death's-head of a fellow, old Heythorp felt a sort of pity. He looked bad enough already—and this news would make him look worse. Joe Pillin glanced round at the two closed doors.

At the sight of that grim-looking guy, old Heythorp felt a bit of pity. He already looked pretty rough—and this news would only make him look worse. Joe Pillin glanced around at the two closed doors.

“How are you, Sylvanus? I'm very poorly.” He came closer, and lowered his voice: “Why did you get me to make that settlement? I must have been mad. I've had a man called Ventnor—I didn't like his manner. He asked me if I knew a Mrs. Larne.”

“How are you, Sylvanus? I'm not doing well.” He stepped closer and lowered his voice: “Why did you ask me to make that settlement? I must have been crazy. I met a guy named Ventnor—I didn't like his vibe. He asked me if I knew a Mrs. Larne.”

“Ha! What did you say?”

"Ha! What did you say?"

“What could I say? I don't know her. But why did he ask?”

“What can I say? I don’t know her. But why did he ask?”

“Smells a rat.”

“Something feels off.”

Joe Pillin grasped the edge of the table with both hands.

Joe Pillin gripped the edge of the table with both hands.

“Oh!” he murmured. “Oh! don't say that!”

“Oh!” he said softly. “Oh! please don't say that!”

Old Heythorp held out to him the crumpled letter.

Old Heythorp handed him the crumpled letter.

When he had read it Joe Pillin sat down abruptly before the fire.

When he finished reading, Joe Pillin sat down suddenly in front of the fire.

“Pull yourself together, Joe; they can't touch you, and they can't upset either the purchase or the settlement. They can upset me, that's all.”

“Get it together, Joe; they can’t do anything to you, and they can’t mess up the purchase or the settlement. The only one they can affect is me.”

Joe Pillin answered, with trembling lips:

Joe Pillin replied, his lips shaking:

“How you can sit there, and look the same as ever! Are you sure they can't touch me?”

“How can you sit there and look the same as always? Are you sure they can't reach me?”

Old Heyworth nodded grimly.

Old Heyworth nodded sadly.

“They talk of an Act, but they haven't passed it yet. They might prove a breach of trust against me. But I'll diddle them. Keep your pecker up, and get off abroad.”

“They're talking about a law, but they haven't actually passed it yet. They might try to accuse me of breaking their trust. But I'll outsmart them. Stay positive and go travel overseas.”

“Yes, yes. I must. I'm very bad. I was going to-morrow. But I don't know, I'm sure, with this hanging over me. My son knowing her makes it worse. He picks up with everybody. He knows this man Ventnor too. And I daren't say anything to Bob. What are you thinking of, Sylvanus? You look very funny!”

“Yes, yes. I have to. I’m really bad. I was going to go tomorrow. But I don’t know, with this looming over me. My son knowing her makes it worse. He gets along with everyone. He knows this guy Ventnor too. And I can’t say anything to Bob. What are you thinking, Sylvanus? You look really funny!”

Old Heythorp seemed to rouse himself from a sort of coma.

Old Heythorp seemed to awaken from a sort of daze.

“I want my lunch,” he said. “Will you stop and have some?”

“I want my lunch,” he said. “Will you stop and eat some?”

Joe Pillin stammered out:

Joe Pillin stuttered out:

“Lunch! I don't know when I shall eat again. What are you going to do, Sylvanus?”

“Lunch! I don't know when I'll eat again. What are you going to do, Sylvanus?”

“Bluff the beggar out of it.”

“Smooth talk the beggar out of it.”

“But suppose you can't?”

“But what if you can't?”

“Buy him off. He's one—of my creditors.”

“Pay him off. He's one of my creditors.”

Joe Pillin stared at him afresh. “You always had such nerve,” he said yearningly. “Do you ever wake up between two and four? I do—and everything's black.”

Joe Pillin looked at him again. “You always had such guts,” he said with longing. “Do you ever wake up between two and four? I do—and everything's dark.”

“Put a good stiff nightcap on, my boy, before going to bed.”

“Have a strong drink before heading to bed, my boy.”

“Yes; I sometimes wish I was less temperate. But I couldn't stand it. I'm told your doctor forbids you alcohol.”

“Yes; I sometimes wish I were less moderate. But I couldn't handle it. I’ve heard your doctor has banned you from drinking.”

“He does. That's why I drink it.”

“He does. That’s why I drink it.”

Joe Pillin, brooding over the fire, said: “This meeting—d'you think they mean to have it? D'you think this man really knows? If my name gets into the newspapers—” but encountering his old friend's deep little eyes, he stopped. “So you advise me to get off to-morrow, then?”

Joe Pillin, lost in thought by the fire, said: “This meeting—do you think they actually plan to hold it? Do you think this guy really knows? If my name shows up in the newspapers—” but when he saw his old friend's intense little eyes, he paused. “So you think I should leave tomorrow, then?”

Old Heythorp nodded.

Old Heythorp agreed.

“Your lunch is served, sir.”

“Your lunch is ready, sir.”

Joe Pillin started violently, and rose.

Joe Pillin jumped up abruptly and stood up.

“Well, good-bye, Sylvanus-good-bye! I don't suppose I shall be back till the summer, if I ever come back!” He sank his voice: “I shall rely on you. You won't let them, will you?”

“Well, goodbye, Sylvanus—goodbye! I don’t think I’ll be back until the summer, if I ever come back!” He lowered his voice: “I’ll count on you. You won’t let them, will you?”

Old Heythorp lifted his hand, and Joe Pillin put into that swollen shaking paw his pale and spindly fingers. “I wish I had your pluck,” he said sadly. “Good-bye, Sylvanus,” and turning, he passed out.

Old Heythorp raised his hand, and Joe Pillin placed his thin, bony fingers into that swollen, shaking palm. “I wish I had your courage,” he said sadly. “Goodbye, Sylvanus,” and with that, he turned and walked away.

Old Heythorp thought: 'Poor shaky chap. All to pieces at the first shot!' And, going to his lunch, ate more heavily than usual.

Old Heythorp thought: 'Poor nervous guy. Totally falling apart at the first sign of trouble!' And, heading to his lunch, ate more than usual.





2

Mr. Ventnor, on reaching his office and opening his letters, found, as he had anticipated, one from “that old rascal.” Its contents excited in him the need to know his own mind. Fortunately this was not complicated by a sense of dignity—he only had to consider the position with an eye on not being made to look a fool. The point was simply whether he set more store by his money than by his desire for—er—Justice. If not, he had merely to convene the special meeting, and lay before it the plain fact that Mr. Joseph Pillin, selling his ships for sixty thousand pounds, had just made a settlement of six thousand pounds on a lady whom he did not know, a daughter, ward, or what-not—of the purchasing company's chairman, who had said, moreover, at the general meeting, that he stood or fell by the transaction; he had merely to do this, and demand that an explanation be required from the old man of such a startling coincidence. Convinced that no explanation would hold water, he felt sure that his action would be at once followed by the collapse, if nothing more, of that old image, and the infliction of a nasty slur on old Pillin and his hopeful son. On the other hand, three hundred pounds was money; and, if old Heythorp were to say to him: “What do you want to make this fuss for—here's what I owe you!” could a man of business and the world let his sense of justice—however he might itch to have it satisfied—stand in the way of what was after all also his sense of Justice?—for this money had been owing to him for the deuce of along time. In this dilemma, the words:

Mr. Ventnor, upon arriving at his office and sorting through his letters, found, as he had expected, one from “that old rascal.” Its contents sparked in him a need to figure out his own feelings. Luckily, this was not complicated by a sense of pride—he only had to think about the situation without wanting to look foolish. The issue was simply whether he valued his money more than his desire for—well—Justice. If not, he just needed to call a special meeting and present the straightforward fact that Mr. Joseph Pillin, selling his ships for sixty thousand pounds, had recently made a settlement of six thousand pounds to a woman he didn’t know, who might be a daughter, ward, or something similar—of the chairman of the purchasing company, who had also stated at the general meeting that he would stand or fall by the deal; he only had to do this and demand an explanation from the old man regarding such a shocking coincidence. Confident that no explanation would hold up, he was sure that his actions would quickly lead to the downfall, at the very least, of that old image, and tarnish old Pillin and his hopeful son. On the other hand, three hundred pounds was real money; and if old Heythorp were to say to him, “Why are you making such a fuss—here's what I owe you!” could a practical, business-minded man let his sense of justice—no matter how much he wanted it fulfilled—get in the way of what was also his sense of Justice?—since this money had been due to him for quite a while. In this dilemma, the words:

“My solicitors will be instructed” were of notable service in helping him to form a decision, for he had a certain dislike of other solicitors, and an intimate knowledge of the law of libel and slander; if by any remote chance there should be a slip between the cup and the lip, Charles Ventnor might be in the soup—a position which he deprecated both by nature and profession. High thinking, therefore, decided him at last to answer thus:

“My lawyers will be hired” were quite helpful in guiding him to make a decision, as he had a specific dislike for other lawyers and a deep understanding of libel and slander laws; if by some unlikely chance something went wrong, Charles Ventnor could find himself in trouble—a situation he naturally and professionally wanted to avoid. After much consideration, he ultimately decided to respond like this:

“February 19th, 1905.

February 19, 1905.

“SIR,—I have received your note. I think it may be fair, before taking further steps in this matter, to ask you for a personal explanation of the circumstances to which I alluded. I therefore propose with your permission to call on you at your private residence at five o'clock to-morrow afternoon.

“SIR,—I’ve received your note. I think it’s fair, before moving forward on this matter, to ask you for a personal explanation of the situation I mentioned. With your permission, I’d like to visit you at your home tomorrow afternoon at five o'clock.”

“Yours faithfully, “CHARLES VENTNOR.

"Best regards, CHARLES VENTNOR."

“SYLVANUS HEYTHORP, Esq.”

“Sylvanus Heythorp, Esq.”

Having sent this missive, and arranged in his mind the damning, if circumstantial, evidence he had accumulated, he awaited the hour with confidence, for his nature was not lacking in the cock-surety of a Briton. All the same, he dressed himself particularly well that morning, putting on a blue and white striped waistcoat which, with a cream-coloured tie, set off his fulvous whiskers and full blue eyes; and he lunched, if anything, more fully than his wont, eating a stronger cheese and taking a glass of special Club ale. He took care to be late, too, to show the old fellow that his coming at all was in the nature of an act of grace. A strong scent of hyacinths greeted him in the hall; and Mr. Ventnor, who was an amateur of flowers, stopped to put his nose into a fine bloom and think uncontrollably of Mrs. Larne. Pity! The things one had to give up in life—fine women—one thing and another. Pity! The thought inspired in him a timely anger; and he followed the servant, intending to stand no nonsense from this paralytic old rascal.

After sending this letter and sorting through the damaging, though circumstantial, evidence he had gathered, he awaited the hour with confidence, as he was not lacking in the cocky assurance of a Brit. Still, he dressed particularly well that morning, wearing a blue and white striped waistcoat, which, along with a cream-colored tie, highlighted his tawny whiskers and bright blue eyes; he also lunched more thoroughly than usual, opting for a stronger cheese and enjoying a glass of special Club ale. He made sure to arrive late, too, to show the old man that his presence was an act of grace. A strong scent of hyacinths welcomed him in the hall, and Mr. Ventnor, an amateur of flowers, paused to sniff a beautiful bloom, uncontrollably thinking of Mrs. Larne. What a shame! The things one had to give up in life—lovely women, and so on. What a shame! This thought ignited an appropriate anger in him, and he followed the servant, determined to put up with no nonsense from this paralyzed old fool.

The room he entered was lighted by a bright fire, and a single electric lamp with an orange shade on a table covered by a black satin cloth. There were heavily gleaming oil paintings on the walls, a heavy old brass chandelier without candles, heavy dark red curtains, and an indefinable scent of burnt acorns, coffee, cigars, and old man. He became conscious of a candescent spot on the far side of the hearth, where the light fell on old Heythorp's thick white hair.

The room he walked into was lit by a bright fire and a single electric lamp with an orange shade on a table draped in black satin. There were shiny oil paintings on the walls, a heavy brass chandelier without candles, thick dark red curtains, and a vague scent of burnt acorns, coffee, cigars, and an old man. He noticed a glowing spot on the far side of the hearth, where the light highlighted old Heythorp's thick white hair.

“Mr. Ventnor, sir.”

"Mr. Ventnor."

The candescent spot moved. A voice said: “Sit down.”

The glowing spot shifted. A voice said, “Take a seat.”

Mr. Ventnor sat in an armchair on the opposite side of the fire; and, finding a kind of somnolence creeping over him, pinched himself. He wanted all his wits about him.

Mr. Ventnor sat in an armchair on the opposite side of the fire, and feeling a sort of drowsiness coming over him, he pinched himself. He wanted to be fully alert.

The old man was speaking in that extinct voice of his, and Mr. Ventnor said rather pettishly:

The old man was speaking in that faded voice of his, and Mr. Ventnor said rather irritably:

“Beg pardon, I don't get you.”

“Excuse me, I don't understand what you're saying.”

Old Heythorp's voice swelled with sudden force:

Old Heythorp's voice rose with sudden intensity:

“Your letters are Greek to me.”

“Your letters are completely confusing to me.”

“Oh! indeed, I think we can soon make them into plain English!”

“Oh! I really think we can turn them into plain English quickly!”

“Sooner the better.”

"Better sooner than later."

Mr. Ventnor passed through a moment of indecision. Should he lay his cards on the table? It was not his habit, and the proceeding was sometimes attended with risk. The knowledge, however, that he could always take them up again, seeing there was no third person here to testify that he had laid them down, decided him, and he said:

Mr. Ventnor went through a moment of uncertainty. Should he be upfront about everything? It wasn’t typical for him, and doing so could sometimes be risky. However, the fact that he could always take back what he had said, since there was no one else around to confirm that he had been honest, made up his mind. He then said:

“Well, Mr. Heythorp, the long and short of the matter is this: Our friend Mr. Pillin paid you a commission of ten per cent. on the sale of his ships. Oh! yes. He settled the money, not on you, but on your relative Mrs. Larne and her children. This, as you know, is a breach of trust on your part.”

“Well, Mr. Heythorp, the bottom line is this: Our friend Mr. Pillin paid you a ten percent commission on the sale of his ships. Oh yes, he gave the money, not to you, but to your relative Mrs. Larne and her kids. This, as you know, is a breach of trust on your part.”

The old man's voice: “Where did you get hold of that cock-and-bull story?” brought him to his feet before the fire.

The old man's voice: “Where did you hear that ridiculous story?” brought him to his feet in front of the fire.

“It won't do, Mr. Heythorp. My witnesses are Mr. Pillin, Mrs. Larne, and Mr. Scriven.”

“It’s not going to work, Mr. Heythorp. My witnesses are Mr. Pillin, Mrs. Larne, and Mr. Scriven.”

“What have you come here for, then—blackmail?”

“What did you come here for—blackmail?”

Mr. Ventnor straightened his waistcoat; a rush of conscious virtue had dyed his face.

Mr. Ventnor adjusted his waistcoat; a wave of self-righteousness had flushed his face.

“Oh! you take that tone,” he said, “do you? You think you can ride roughshod over everything? Well, you're very much mistaken. I advise you to keep a civil tongue and consider your position, or I'll make a beggar of you. I'm not sure this isn't a case for a prosecution!”

“Oh! So that's the tone you want to take,” he said. “You think you can just stomp all over everything? Well, you're seriously mistaken. I recommend you watch your words and think about your situation, or I will make you a beggar. I'm not even certain this isn't something that needs to go to court!”

“Gammon!”

“Ham!”

The choler in Charles Ventnor kept him silent for a moment; then he burst out:

The anger in Charles Ventnor made him quiet for a moment; then he exploded:

“Neither gammon nor spinach. You owe me three hundred pounds, you've owed it me for years, and you have the impudence to take this attitude with me, have you? Now, I never bluster; I say what I mean. You just listen to me. Either you pay me what you owe me at once, or I call this meeting and make what I know public. You'll very soon find out where you are. And a good thing, too, for a more unscrupulous—unscrupulous—-” he paused for breath.

"Neither gammon nor spinach. You owe me three hundred pounds, and you've been ducking me for years, and you have the nerve to act this way towards me, don’t you? Now, I don't make empty threats; I say what I mean. Just listen to me. You either pay me what you owe right now, or I’ll call this meeting and expose what I know. You'll quickly see the trouble you're in. And it's about time, too, because a more deceitful—deceitful—" he paused to catch his breath.

Occupied with his own emotion, he had not observed the change in old Heythorp's face. The imperial on that lower lip was bristling, the crimson of those cheeks had spread to the roots of his white hair. He grasped the arms of his chair, trying to rise; his swollen hands trembled; a little saliva escaped one corner of his lips. And the words came out as if shaken by his teeth:

Occupied with his own feelings, he hadn't noticed the change in old Heythorp's face. The imperious look on that lower lip was bristling, the red on those cheeks had spread to the roots of his white hair. He gripped the arms of his chair, attempting to get up; his swollen hands shook; a bit of saliva leaked from one corner of his lips. And the words came out as if jolted by his teeth:

“So-so-you-you bully me!”

"You bully me!"

Conscious that the interview had suddenly passed from the phase of negotiation, Mr. Ventnor looked hard at his opponent. He saw nothing but a decrepit, passionate, crimson-faced old man at bay, and all the instincts of one with everything on his side boiled up in him. The miserable old turkey-cock—the apoplectic image! And he said:

Conscious that the interview had suddenly shifted from negotiation, Mr. Ventnor stared intently at his opponent. All he saw was a worn-out, passionate, red-faced old man cornered, and all his instincts as someone who had everything to gain surged within him. The pathetic old turkey-cock—the apoplectic figure! And he said:

“And you'll do no good for yourself by getting into a passion. At your age, and in your condition, I recommend a little prudence. Now just take my terms quietly, or you know what'll happen. I'm not to be intimidated by any of your airs.” And seeing that the old man's rage was such that he simply could not speak, he took the opportunity of going on: “I don't care two straws which you do—I'm out to show you who's master. If you think in your dotage you can domineer any longer—well, you'll find two can play at that game. Come, now, which are you going to do?”

“And you won’t help yourself by getting all worked up. At your age and in your situation, I suggest being a bit more careful. So just accept my terms calmly, or you know what’s coming. I’m not scared off by any of your nonsense.” And seeing that the old man's anger was so intense he couldn't speak, he took the chance to continue: “I don’t care at all what you decide—I’m here to show you who’s in charge. If you think you can keep being bossy in your old age—well, you’ll see that I can play that game too. Now, what are you going to do?”

The old man had sunk back in his chair, and only his little deep-blue eyes seemed living. Then he moved one hand, and Mr. Ventnor saw that he was fumbling to reach the button of an electric bell at the end of a cord. 'I'll show him,' he thought, and stepping forward, he put it out of reach.

The old man had sunk back in his chair, and only his little deep-blue eyes seemed alive. Then he moved one hand, and Mr. Ventnor saw that he was struggling to reach the button of an electric bell at the end of a cord. 'I'll show him,' he thought, and stepping forward, he moved it out of reach.

Thus frustrated, the old man remained-motionless, staring up. The word “blackmail” resumed its buzzing in Mr. Ventnor's ears. The impudence the consummate impudence of it from this fraudulent old ruffian with one foot in bankruptcy and one foot in the grave, if not in the dock.

Thus frustrated, the old man stayed still, looking up. The word “blackmail” kept buzzing in Mr. Ventnor's ears. The audacity—such sheer audacity—from this deceitful old crook who was half in bankruptcy and half in the grave, if not facing charges.

“Yes,” he said, “it's never too late to learn; and for once you've come up against someone a leetle bit too much for you. Haven't you now? You'd better cry 'Peccavi.'.rdquo;

“Yeah,” he said, “it’s never too late to learn; and for once you’ve run into someone who’s a little too much for you. Haven’t you? You’d better say 'I admit defeat.'”

Then, in the deathly silence of the room, the moral force of his position, and the collapse as it seemed of his opponent, awakening a faint compunction, he took a turn over the Turkey carpet to readjust his mind.

Then, in the heavy silence of the room, the moral strength of his stance, along with what seemed like the defeat of his opponent, stirred a slight sense of guilt in him, so he walked across the Turkish carpet to clear his thoughts.

“You're an old man, and I don't want to be too hard on you. I'm only showing you that you can't play fast and loose as if you were God Almighty any longer. You've had your own way too many years. And now you can't have it, see!” Then, as the old man again moved forward in his chair, he added: “Now, don't get into a passion again; calm yourself, because I warn you—this is your last chance. I'm a man of my word; and what I say, I do.”

“You're an old man, and I don't want to be too tough on you. I'm just showing you that you can't act like you're God anymore. You've had your way for too long. And now you can't have it, got it?” Then, as the old man shifted in his chair, he added: “Now, don’t get worked up again; calm down, because I’m warning you—this is your last chance. I’m a man of my word; and what I say, I mean.”

By a violent and unsuspected effort the old man jerked himself up and reached the bell. Mr. Ventnor heard it ring, and said sharply:

By a sudden and unexpected effort, the old man pulled himself up and reached the bell. Mr. Ventnor heard it ring and said sharply:

“Mind you, it's nothing to me which you do. I came for your own good. Please yourself. Well?”

“Look, it doesn't matter to me what you choose to do. I came here for your own benefit. Do what you want. Okay?”

He was answered by the click of the door and the old man's husky voice:

He was greeted by the sound of the door clicking shut and the old man's gravelly voice:

“Show this hound out! And then come back!”

“Get this dog out of here! Then come back!”

Mr. Ventnor had presence of mind enough not to shake his fist. Muttering: “Very well, Mr. Heythorp! Ah! Very well!” he moved with dignity to the door. The careful shepherding of the servant renewed the fire of his anger. Hound! He had been called a hound!

Mr. Ventnor had enough composure not to shake his fist. Muttering, “Alright, Mr. Heythorp! Ah! Alright!” he walked with dignity to the door. The careful guidance of the servant reignited his anger. Dog! He had been called a dog!





3

After seeing Mr. Ventnor off the premises the man Meller returned to his master, whose face looked very odd—“all patchy-like,” as he put it in the servants' hall, as though the blood driven to his head had mottled for good the snowy whiteness of the forehead. He received the unexpected order:

After seeing Mr. Ventnor off the property, Meller went back to his boss, whose face looked really strange—“all patchy-like,” as he described it in the staff room—like the blood rushing to his head had permanently splotched the snowy whiteness of his forehead. He received the unexpected order:

“Get me a hot bath ready, and put some pine stuff in it.”

“Prepare a hot bath for me and add some pine products to it.”

When the old man was seated there, the valet asked:

When the old man was sitting there, the valet asked:

“How long shall I give you, sir?”

“How long should I wait for you, sir?”

“Twenty minutes.”

"20 minutes."

“Very good, sir.”

“Great, sir.”

Lying in that steaming brown fragrant liquid, old Heythorp heaved a stertorous sigh. By losing his temper with that ill-conditioned cur he had cooked his goose. It was done to a turn; and he was a ruined man. If only—oh! if only he could have seized the fellow by the neck and pitched him out of the room! To have lived to be so spoken to; to have been unable to lift hand or foot, hardly even his voice—he would sooner have been dead! Yes—sooner have been dead! A dumb and measureless commotion was still at work in the recesses of that thick old body, silver-brown in the dark water, whose steam he drew deep into his wheezing lungs, as though for spiritual relief. To be beaten by a cur like that! To have that common cad of a pettifogging lawyer drag him down and kick him about; tumble a name which had stood high, in the dust! The fellow had the power to make him a byword and a beggar! It was incredible! But it was a fact. And to-morrow he would begin to do it—perhaps had begun already. His tree had come down with a crash! Eighty years-eighty good years! He regretted none of them-regretted nothing; least of all this breach of trust which had provided for his grandchildren—one of the best things he had ever done. The fellow was a cowardly hound, too! The way he had snatched the bell-pull out of his reach-despicable cur! And a chap like that was to put “paid” to the account of Sylvanus Heythorp, to “scratch” him out of life—so near the end of everything, the very end! His hand raised above the surface fell back on his stomach through the dark water, and a bubble or two rose. Not so fast—not so fast! He had but to slip down a foot, let the water close over his head, and “Good-bye” to Master Ventnor's triumph Dead men could not be kicked off the Boards of Companies. Dead men could not be beggared, deprived of their independence. He smiled and stirred a little in the bath till the water reached the white hairs on his lower lip. It smelt nice! And he took a long sniff: He had had a good life, a good life! And with the thought that he had it in his power at any moment to put Master Ventnor's nose out of joint—to beat the beggar after all, a sense of assuagement and well-being crept over him. His blood ran more evenly again. He closed his eyes. They talked about an after-life—people like that holy woman. Gammon! You went to sleep—a long sleep; no dreams. A nap after dinner! Dinner! His tongue sought his palate! Yes! he could eat a good dinner! That dog hadn't put him off his stroke! The best dinner he had ever eaten was the one he gave to Jack Herring, Chichester, Thornworthy, Nick Treffry and Jolyon Forsyte at Pole's. Good Lord! In 'sixty—yes—'sixty-five? Just before he fell in love with Alice Larne—ten years before he came to Liverpool. That was a dinner! Cost twenty-four pounds for the six of them—and Forsyte an absurdly moderate fellow. Only Nick Treff'ry and himself had been three-bottle men! Dead! Every jack man of them. And suddenly he thought: 'My name's a good one—I was never down before—never beaten!'

Lying in that steaming, fragrant brown liquid, old Heythorp let out a heavy sigh. By losing his cool with that badly-behaved mutt, he had sealed his fate. It was all over; he was a ruined man. If only—oh! if only he could have grabbed that guy by the neck and thrown him out of the room! To have lived to be spoken to like that; to have been unable to move a muscle, hardly even able to speak—he would rather be dead! Yes—rather be dead! A silent, overwhelming turmoil was still swirling inside that thick old body, silver-brown in the dark water, the steam he inhaled deeply into his wheezing lungs, as if seeking spiritual relief. To be beaten by a mutt like that! To have that common loser of a sneaky lawyer drag him down and kick him around; to see a name that had once been respected end up in the dirt! That guy had the power to turn him into a joke and a beggar! It was unbelievable! But it was true. And tomorrow he'd start doing it—maybe he had already begun. His tree had fallen with a crash! Eighty years—eighty good years! He regretted none of them—regretted nothing; least of all this breach of trust that had set up his grandchildren—one of the best things he'd ever done. That guy was a cowardly scoundrel, too! The way he had grabbed the bell-pull out of his reach—what a despicable mutt! And someone like that was going to end Sylvanus Heythorp’s life—so close to the finish line, the very end! His hand, raised above the surface, fell back onto his stomach through the dark water, and a couple of bubbles rose. Not so fast—not so fast! He just had to slip down a foot, let the water cover his head, and “Good-bye” to Master Ventnor's triumph. Dead men couldn’t be booted off the Boards of Companies. Dead men couldn't be made beggars or stripped of their independence. He smiled and moved a bit in the bath until the water reached the white hairs on his lower lip. It smelled nice! And he took a deep sniff: He had lived a good life, a good life! And with the thought that he could at any moment ruin Master Ventnor's day—to beat the scoundrel after all, a sense of calm and contentment washed over him. His blood flow steadied again. He closed his eyes. They talked about an afterlife—people like that holy woman. Nonsense! You went to sleep—a long sleep; no dreams. A nap after dinner! Dinner! His tongue searched his palate! Yes! he could eat a good dinner! That mutt hadn’t ruined his appetite! The best dinner he ever had was the one he treated Jack Herring, Chichester, Thornworthy, Nick Treffry, and Jolyon Forsyte to at Pole's. Good Lord! In 'sixty—yes—'sixty-five? Just before he fell in love with Alice Larne—ten years before he came to Liverpool. That was a dinner! It cost twenty-four pounds for the six of them—and Forsyte was an absurdly reasonable guy. Only Nick Treffry and he had been three-bottle guys! Dead! Every single one of them. And suddenly he thought: 'My name is a good one—I’ve never been down before—never beaten!'

A voice above the steam said:

A voice above the steam said:

“The twenty minutes is up, sir.”

“The twenty minutes are up, sir.”

“All right; I'll get out. Evening clothes.”

“All right; I’ll change. Evening clothes.”

And Meller, taking out dress suit and shirt, thought: 'Now, what does the old bloomer want dressin' up again for; why can't he go to bed and have his dinner there? When a man's like a baby, the cradle's the place for him.'....

And Meller, pulling out a tuxedo and shirt, thought: 'Now, why does the old guy want to get all dressed up again? Why can't he just go to bed and eat there? When a man acts like a baby, the crib is where he belongs.'....

An hour later, at the scene of his encounter with Mr. Ventnor, where the table was already laid for dinner, old Heythorp stood and gazed. The curtains had been drawn back, the window thrown open to air the room, and he could see out there the shapes of the dark trees and a sky grape-coloured, in the mild, moist night. It smelt good. A sensuous feeling stirred in him, warm from his bath, clothed from head to foot in fresh garments. Deuce of a time since he had dined in full fig! He would have liked a woman dining opposite—but not the holy woman; no, by George!—would have liked to see light falling on a woman's shoulders once again, and a pair of bright eyes! He crossed, snail-like, towards the fire. There that bullying fellow had stood with his back to it—confound his impudence!—as if the place belonged to him. And suddenly he had a vision of his three secretaries' faces—especially young Farney's as they would look, when the pack got him by the throat and pulled him down. His co-directors, too! Old Heythorp! How are the mighty fallen! And that hound jubilant!

An hour later, at the spot where he had met Mr. Ventnor, with the dinner table already set, old Heythorp stood and stared. The curtains had been pulled back, the window opened to let some fresh air in, and he could see the outlines of the dark trees and a grape-colored sky on that mild, damp night. It smelled nice. A sensual warmth stirred inside him, fresh from his bath and dressed in clean clothes from head to foot. It had been ages since he dined in such style! He would have liked a woman sitting across from him—but not the holy woman; no way!—he wanted to see light catching on a woman's shoulders again and those bright eyes! He made his way slowly to the fire. There that arrogant guy had stood with his back to it—damn his nerve!—as if the place was his. Suddenly, he pictured the faces of his three secretaries—especially young Farney’s—when the group got him by the throat and brought him down. And his co-directors too! Old Heythorp! How the mighty have fallen! And that scoundrel all thrilled about it!

His valet passed across the room to shut the window and draw the curtains. This chap too! The day he could no longer pay his wages, and had lost the power to say “Shan't want your services any more”—when he could no longer even pay his doctor for doing his best to kill him off! Power, interest, independence, all—gone! To be dressed and undressed, given pap, like a baby in arms, served as they chose to serve him, and wished out of the way—broken, dishonoured!

His valet walked across the room to close the window and pull the curtains. This guy too! The day he couldn’t pay his salary anymore, and had lost the ability to say “I won’t need your services anymore”—when he couldn’t even pay his doctor for trying to help him! Power, interest, independence—all gone! To be dressed and undressed, given mush, like a baby in someone’s arms, served however they wanted, and wished away—broken, dishonored!

By money alone an old man had his being! Meat, drink, movement, breath! When all his money was gone the holy woman would let him know it fast enough. They would all let him know it; or if they didn't, it would be out of pity! He had never been pitied yet—thank God! And he said:

By money alone an old man existed! Food, drink, activity, air! When all his money ran out, the holy woman would make sure he knew it quickly. They all would; or if they didn't, it would be out of pity! He had never been pitied yet—thank God! And he said:

“Get me up a bottle of Perrier Jouet. What's the menu?”

“Get me a bottle of Perrier Jouet. What’s on the menu?”

“Germane soup, sir; filly de sole; sweetbread; cutlet soubees, rum souffly.”

“Germane soup, sir; sole fillet; sweetbreads; sautéed cutlet, rum soufflé.”

“Tell her to give me a hors d'oeuvre, and put on a savoury.”

“Tell her to give me an appetizer, and add a savory dish.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Sure, sir.”

When the man had gone, he thought: 'I should have liked an oyster—too late now!' and going over to his bureau, he fumblingly pulled out the top drawer. There was little in it—Just a few papers, business papers on his Companies, and a schedule of his debts; not even a copy of his will—he had not made one, nothing to leave! Letters he had never kept. Half a dozen bills, a few receipts, and the little pink note with the blue forget-me-not. That was the lot! An old tree gives up bearing leaves, and its roots dry up, before it comes down in a wind; an old man's world slowly falls away from him till he stands alone in the night. Looking at the pink note, he thought: 'Suppose I'd married Alice—a man never had a better mistress!' He fumbled the drawer to; but still he strayed feebly about the room, with a curious shrinking from sitting down, legacy from the quarter of an hour he had been compelled to sit while that hound worried at his throat. He was opposite one of the pictures now. It gleamed, dark and oily, limning a Scots Grey who had mounted a wounded Russian on his horse, and was bringing him back prisoner from the Balaclava charge. A very old friend—bought in 'fifty-nine. It had hung in his chambers in the Albany—hung with him ever since. With whom would it hang when he was gone? For that holy woman would scrap it, to a certainty, and stick up some Crucifixion or other, some new-fangled high art thing! She could even do that now if she liked—for she owned it, owned every mortal stick in the room, to the very glass he would drink his champagne from; all made over under the settlement fifteen years ago, before his last big gamble went wrong. “De l'audace, toujours de l'audace!” The gamble which had brought him down till his throat at last was at the mercy of a bullying hound. The pitcher and the well! At the mercy—-! The sound of a popping cork dragged him from reverie. He moved to his seat, back to the window, and sat down to his dinner. By George! They had got him an oyster! And he said:

When the man left, he thought, 'I could really go for an oyster—too late now!' He shuffled over to his desk and awkwardly pulled out the top drawer. There wasn’t much in it—just a few business papers about his companies and a list of his debts; not even a copy of his will—he hadn’t made one, nothing to leave behind! He never kept letters. Just a few bills, some receipts, and the little pink note with the blue forget-me-not. That was it! An old tree stops bearing leaves, and its roots dry out before it falls in a storm; an old man's world slowly slips away from him until he’s left alone in the dark. Looking at the pink note, he thought, 'What if I had married Alice—a man couldn’t ask for a better mistress!' He closed the drawer but continued to wander around the room, oddly avoiding sitting down, a lingering reminder from the past fifteen minutes he had to spend while that dog worried at his throat. Now he was in front of one of the pictures. It shone dark and glossy, depicting a Scots Grey who had picked up a wounded Russian on his horse and was bringing him back as a prisoner from the charge at Balaclava. A very old friend—purchased in '59. It had hung in his rooms in the Albany—hanging there ever since. Who would it hang with when he was gone? That holy woman would definitely scrap it and put up some Crucifixion or other, some trendy high art piece! She could even do that right now if she wanted to—she owned it all, every single thing in the room, down to the very glass he’d drink his champagne from; all transferred under the settlement fifteen years ago, before his last big bet went south. “De l'audace, toujours de l'audace!” The gamble that had brought him down until his throat was finally at the mercy of a bullying dog. The pitcher and the well! At the mercy—! The sound of a popping cork pulled him from his thoughts. He moved to his seat, back to the window, and sat down for dinner. By George! They had gotten him an oyster! And he said:

“I've forgotten my teeth!”

"I forgot my teeth!"

While the man was gone for them, he swallowed the oysters, methodically touching them one by one with cayenne, Chili vinegar, and lemon. Ummm! Not quite what they used to be at Pimm's in the best days, but not bad—not bad! Then seeing the little blue bowl lying before him, he looked up and said:

While the man was away, he ate the oysters, carefully seasoning each one with cayenne, chili vinegar, and lemon. Mmm! Not as great as they were at Pimm's in its prime, but still pretty good—pretty good! Then, noticing the little blue bowl in front of him, he looked up and said:

“My compliments to cook on the oysters. Give me the champagne.” And he lifted his trembling teeth. Thank God, he could still put 'em in for himself! The creaming goldenish fluid from the napkined bottle slowly reached the brim of his glass, which had a hollow stem; raising it to his lips, very red between the white hairs above and below, he drank with a gurgling noise, and put the glass down-empty. Nectar! And just cold enough!

“My compliments to the chef on the oysters. Pour me the champagne.” And he lifted his shaky teeth. Thank goodness, he could still put them in by himself! The creamy golden liquid from the napkin-covered bottle slowly filled his glass, which had a hollow stem; raising it to his lips, very red between the white hair above and below, he drank with a gurgling sound, and set the empty glass down. Nectar! And just the right temperature!

“I frapped it the least bit, sir.”

"I hardly did it, sir."

“Quite right. What's that smell of flowers?”

“Exactly. What’s that flower scent?”

“It's from those 'yacinths on the sideboard, sir. They come from Mrs. Larne, this afternoon.”

“It's from those 'yacinths on the side table, sir. They arrived from Mrs. Larne this afternoon.”

“Put 'em on the table. Where's my daughter?”

“Put them on the table. Where is my daughter?”

“She's had dinner, sir; goin' to a ball, I think.”

"She’s had dinner, sir; I think she’s going to a ball."

“A ball!”

“Ball!”

“Charity ball, I fancy, sir.”

"Charity gala, I fancy, sir."

“Ummm! Give me a touch of the old sherry with the soup.”

“Um! Just a splash of sherry with the soup.”

“Yes, sir. I shall have to open a bottle:”

“Yes, sir. I will need to open a bottle:”

“Very well, then, do!”

"Alright, go ahead!"

On his way to the cellar the man confided to Molly, who was carrying the soup:

On his way to the cellar, the man told Molly, who was carrying the soup:

“The Gov'nor's going it to-night! What he'll be like tomorrow I dunno.”

“The boss is going out tonight! I have no idea what he’ll be like tomorrow.”

The girl answered softly:

The girl replied quietly:

“Poor old man, let um have his pleasure.” And, in the hall, with the soup tureen against her bosom, she hummed above the steam, and thought of the ribbons on her new chemises, bought out of the sovereign he had given her.

“Poor old man, let him have his fun.” And, in the hall, with the soup tureen pressed against her chest, she hummed over the steam and thought about the ribbons on her new camisoles, bought with the money he had given her.

And old Heythorp, digesting his osyters, snuffed the scent of the hyacinths, and thought of the St. Germain, his favourite soup. It would n't be first-rate, at this time of year—should be made with little young home-grown peas. Paris was the place for it. Ah! The French were the fellows for eating, and—looking things in the face! Not hypocrites—not ashamed of their reason or their senses!

And old Heythorp, chewing on his oysters, caught the smell of the hyacinths and thought about the St. Germain, his favorite soup. It wouldn’t be top notch this time of year—it should be made with young, fresh peas from home. Paris was the right place for it. Ah! The French really knew how to enjoy food and—facing things head-on! Not hypocrites—not ashamed of their reasoning or their senses!

The soup came in. He sipped it, bending forward as far as he could, his napkin tucked in over his shirt-front like a bib. He got the bouquet of that sherry to a T—his sense of smell was very keen to-night; rare old stuff it was—more than a year since he had tasted it—but no one drank sherry nowadays, hadn't the constitution for it! The fish came up, and went down; and with the sweetbread he took his second glass of champagne. Always the best, that second glass—the stomach well warmed, and the palate not yet dulled. Umm! So that fellow thought he had him beaten, did he? And he said suddenly:

The soup arrived. He sipped it, leaning forward as much as he could, his napkin tucked into his shirt like a bib. He picked up the aroma of the sherry perfectly—his sense of smell was sharp tonight; it was rare old stuff—over a year since he'd had it—but nobody drinks sherry these days; they just don’t have the stomach for it! The fish came and went; and with the sweetbread, he had his second glass of champagne. That second glass was always the best—the stomach well warmed, and the palate still fresh. Umm! So that guy thought he had him beat, did he? And he suddenly said:

“The fur coat in the wardrobe, I've no use for it. You can take it away to-night.”

“The fur coat in the wardrobe, I don’t need it. You can take it away tonight.”

With tempered gratitude the valet answered:

With a sense of restrained gratitude, the valet replied:

“Thank you, sir; much obliged, I'm sure.” So the old buffer had found out there was moth in it!

“Thank you, sir; I really appreciate it.” So the old guy had figured out there was a moth in it!

“Have I worried you much?”

“Did I worry you a lot?”

“No, sir; not at all, sir—that is, no more than reason.”

“No, sir; not at all, sir—that is, no more than makes sense.”

“Afraid I have. Very sorry—can't help it. You'll find that, when you get like me.”

“I'm afraid I have. I’m really sorry—I can’t help it. You’ll see that when you end up like me.”

“Yes, sir; I've always admired your pluck, sir.

“Yes, sir; I've always respected your courage, sir.

“Um! Very good of you to say so.”

“Um! That's really nice of you to say.”

“Always think of you keepin' the flag flying', sir.”

“Always remember to keep the flag flying, sir.”

Old Heythorp bent his body from the waist.

Old Heythorp bent at the waist.

“Much obliged to you.”

“Thanks a lot.”

“Not at all, sir. Cook's done a little spinach in cream with the soubees.”

“Not at all, sir. The cook has made some spinach in cream with the soufflés.”

“Ah! Tell her from me it's a capital dinner, so far.”

“Ah! Tell her for me it’s a great dinner, so far.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Thank you, man.”

Alone again, old Heythorp sat unmoving, his brain just narcotically touched. “The flag flyin'—the flag flyin'.” He raised his glass and sucked. He had an appetite now, and finished the three cutlets, and all the sauce and spinach. Pity! he could have managed a snipe fresh shot! A desire to delay, to lengthen dinner, was strong upon him; there were but the souffle' and the savoury to come. He would have enjoyed, too, someone to talk to. He had always been fond of good company—been good company himself, or so they said—not that he had had a chance of late. Even at the Boards they avoided talking to him, he had noticed for a long time. Well! that wouldn't trouble him again—he had sat through his last Board, no doubt. They shouldn't kick him off, though; he wouldn't give them that pleasure—had seen the beggars hankering after his chairman's shoes too long. The souffle was before him now, and lifting his glass, he said:

Alone again, old Heythorp sat still, his mind slightly dulled. “The flag flying—the flag flying.” He raised his glass and took a sip. He was feeling hungry now and finished the three cutlets, along with all the sauce and spinach. What a shame! He could have handled a freshly shot snipe! A strong urge to prolong dinner was upon him; only the souffle and the savory dish were left. He would have enjoyed having someone to talk to as well. He had always liked good company—been good company himself, or so they said—not that he’d had much of a chance lately. Even in the Board meetings, he noticed they avoided talking to him for quite a while. Well! That wouldn’t bother him anymore—he had definitely sat through his last Board meeting. They wouldn't be able to kick him off, though; he wouldn’t give them that satisfaction—he had seen those guys eyeing his chairman's position for too long. The souffle was in front of him now, and raising his glass, he said:

“Fill up.”

"Fill it up."

“These are the special glasses, sir; only four to the bottle.”

“These are the special glasses, sir; only four per bottle.”

“Fill up.”

"Fill it up."

The servant filled, screwing up his mouth.

The servant filled it, wincing.

Old Heythorp drank, and put the glass down empty with a sigh. He had been faithful to his principles, finished the bottle before touching the sweet—a good bottle—of a good brand! And now for the souffle! Delicious, flipped down with the old sherry! So that holy woman was going to a ball, was she! How deuced funny! Who would dance with a dry stick like that, all eaten up with a piety which was just sexual disappointment? Ah! yes, lots of women like that—had often noticed 'em—pitied 'em too, until you had to do with them and they made you as unhappy as themselves, and were tyrants into the bargain. And he asked:

Old Heythorp finished his drink and set the empty glass down with a sigh. He had stuck to his principles, finishing the bottle before touching the dessert—a good bottle—from a reputable brand! And now for the souffle! It was delicious, paired perfectly with the old sherry! So that holy woman was going to a ball, was she? How ridiculous! Who would dance with such a dry person, burdened by a piety stemming from nothing but sexual disappointment? Ah, yes, there are plenty of women like that—I’ve often noticed them. I felt sorry for them too, until you had to deal with them, and they made you as miserable as they were, and were tyrants to boot. And he asked:

“What's the savoury?”

“What's the flavor?”

“Cheese remmykin, sir.”

“Cheese, please, sir.”

His favourite.

His favorite.

“I'll have my port with it—the 'sixty-eight.” The man stood gazing with evident stupefaction. He had not expected this. The old man's face was very flushed, but that might be the bath. He said feebly:

“I'll have my port with it—the 'sixty-eight.” The man stood there, staring in obvious shock. He hadn't seen this coming. The old man's face was quite red, but that could be from the bath. He said weakly:

“Are you sure you ought, sir?”

“Are you sure you should, sir?”

“No, but I'm going to.”

“No, but I will.”

“Would you mind if I spoke to Miss Heythorp, Sir?”

“Do you mind if I talk to Miss Heythorp, Sir?”

“If you do, you can leave my service.”

“If you do, you can quit my team.”

“Well, Sir, I don't accept the responsibility.”

“Well, Sir, I don’t take responsibility for that.”

“Who asked you to?”

“Who told you to?”

“No, Sir....”

"No, sir..."

“Well, get it, then; and don't be an ass.”

“Well, go get it, then; and don’t be stupid.”

“Yes, Sir.” If the old man were not humoured he would have a fit, perhaps!

“Yes, Sir.” If the old man wasn’t amused, he might just have a fit!

And the old man sat quietly staring at the hyacinths. He felt happy, his whole being lined and warmed and drowsed—and there was more to come! What had the holy folk to give you compared with the comfort of a good dinner? Could they make you dream, and see life rosy for a little? No, they could only give you promissory notes which never would be cashed. A man had nothing but his pluck—they only tried to undermine it, and make him squeal for help. He could see his precious doctor throwing up his hands: “Port after a bottle of champagne—you'll die of it!” And a very good death too—none better. A sound broke the silence of the closed-up room. Music? His daughter playing the piano overhead. Singing too! What a trickle of a voice! Jenny Lind! The Swedish nightingale—he had never missed the nights when she was singing—Jenny Lind!

And the old man sat quietly, staring at the hyacinths. He felt happy, his whole being relaxed, warmed, and drowsy—and there was more to come! What could the holy people offer you compared to the comfort of a good dinner? Could they make you dream and see life in a rosy light for a while? No, they could only give you promises that would never be fulfilled. A man had nothing but his courage—they just tried to undermine it and make him beg for help. He could picture his precious doctor throwing up his hands: “Port after a bottle of champagne—you'll die from it!” And what a good way to go—none better. Suddenly, a sound broke the silence of the closed room. Music? His daughter was playing the piano upstairs. And she was singing too! What a lovely voice! Jenny Lind! The Swedish nightingale—he had never missed a night when she was singing—Jenny Lind!

“It's very hot, sir. Shall I take it out of the case?”

“It's really hot, sir. Should I take it out of the case?”

Ah! The ramequin!

Ah! The small dish!

“Touch of butter, and the cayenne!”

“Just a bit of butter, and some cayenne!”

“Yes, sir.”

"Yes, sir."

He ate it slowly, savouring each mouthful; had never tasted a better. With cheese—port! He drank one glass, and said:

He ate it slowly, savoring each bite; had never tasted anything better. With cheese—port! He drank one glass and said:

“Help me to my chair.”

“Help me to my seat.”

And settled there before the fire with decanter and glass and hand-bell on the little low table by his side, he murmured:

And sat down there by the fire with a decanter and glass and a little bell on the small table next to him, he whispered:

“Bring coffee, and my cigar, in twenty minutes.”

“Bring coffee and my cigar in twenty minutes.”

To-night he would do justice to his wine, not smoking till he had finished. As old Horace said:

To-night he would truly enjoy his wine, not lighting a cigarette until he had finished. As the poet Horace once said:

“Aequam memento rebus in arduis Servare mentem.”

“Aequam memento rebus in arduis Servare mentem.”

And, raising his glass, he sipped slowly, spilling a drop or two, shutting his eyes.

And, lifting his glass, he took a slow sip, spilling a drop or two, closing his eyes.

The faint silvery squealing of the holy woman in the room above, the scent of hyacinths, the drowse of the fire, on which a cedar log had just been laid, the feeling of the port soaking down into the crannies of his being, made up a momentary Paradise. Then the music stopped; and no sound rose but the tiny groans of the log trying to resist the fire. Dreamily he thought: 'Life wears you out—wears you out. Logs on a fire!' And he filled his glass again. That fellow had been careless; there were dregs at the bottom of the decanter and he had got down to them! Then, as the last drop from his tilted glass trickled into the white hairs on his chin, he heard the coffee tray put down, and taking his cigar he put it to his ear, rolling it in his thick fingers. In prime condition! And drawing a first whiff, he said:

The faint, silvery squeal of the holy woman in the room above, the scent of hyacinths, the warmth of the fire, where a cedar log had just been placed, and the feeling of the port soaking into the depths of his being created a brief Paradise. Then the music stopped; and the only sound was the soft groans of the log struggling against the flames. Dreamily, he thought: 'Life wears you down—wears you down. Logs on a fire!' He filled his glass again. That guy had been careless; there were dregs at the bottom of the decanter, and he had gotten to them! Then, as the last drop from his tilted glass dripped onto the white hairs of his chin, he heard the coffee tray being set down, and as he took his cigar, he held it to his ear, rolling it between his thick fingers. In perfect condition! And taking a first puff, he said:

“Open that bottle of the old brandy in the sideboard.”

“Open that bottle of the old brandy in the cabinet.”

“Brandy, sir? I really daren't, sir.”

“Brandy, sir? I really can't, sir.”

“Are you my servant or not?”

“Are you my servant or what?”

“Yes, sir, but—-”

“Yes, sir, but—”

A minute of silence, then the man went hastily to the sideboard, took out the bottle, and drew the cork. The tide of crimson in the old man's face had frightened him.

A minute of silence passed, then the man hurried over to the sideboard, grabbed the bottle, and pulled out the cork. The rush of red in the old man's face had scared him.

“Leave it there.”

"Just leave it there."

The unfortunate valet placed the bottle on the little table. 'I'll have to tell her,' he thought; 'but if I take away the port decanter and the glass, it won't look so bad.' And, carrying them, he left the room.

The unfortunate valet set the bottle down on the small table. 'I have to tell her,' he thought; 'but if I take the port decanter and the glass away, it won't seem so bad.' And, taking them, he left the room.

Slowly the old man drank his coffee, and the liqueur of brandy. The whole gamut! And watching his cigar-smoke wreathing blue in the orange glow, he smiled. The last night to call his soul his own, the last night of his independence. Send in his resignations to-morrow—not wait to be kicked off! Not give that fellow a chance!

Slowly, the old man sipped his coffee and brandy liqueur. He indulged in everything. As he watched the blue cigar smoke swirl in the orange glow, he smiled. It was the last night he could call his soul his own, the last night of his independence. He would send in his resignations tomorrow—no need to wait to be pushed out! He wouldn’t give that guy a chance!

A voice which seemed to come from far off, said:

A voice that sounded like it was coming from a distance said:

“Father! You're drinking brandy! How can you—you know it's simple poison to you!” A figure in white, scarcely actual, loomed up close. He took the bottle to fill up his liqueur glass, in defiance; but a hand in a long white glove, with another dangling from its wrist, pulled it away, shook it at him, and replaced it in the sideboard. And, just as when Mr. Ventnor stood there accusing him, a swelling and churning in his throat prevented him from speech; his lips moved, but only a little froth came forth.

“Dad! You’re drinking brandy! How can you—you know it’s basically poison for you!” A figure in white, barely real, appeared close by. He reached for the bottle to fill his liqueur glass defiantly, but a hand in a long white glove, with another hanging from its wrist, pulled it away, shook it at him, and put it back in the sideboard. And, just like when Mr. Ventnor stood there accusing him, a tightness in his throat kept him from speaking; his lips moved, but only a little froth came out.

His daughter had approached again. She stood quite close, in white satin, thin-faced, sallow, with eyebrows raised, and her dark hair frizzed—yes! frizzed—the holy woman! With all his might he tried to say: 'So you bully me, do you—you bully me to-night!' but only the word “so” and a sort of whispering came forth. He heard her speaking. “It's no good your getting angry, Father. After champagne—it's wicked!” Then her form receded in a sort of rustling white mist; she was gone; and he heard the sputtering and growling of her taxi, bearing her to the ball. So! She tyrannised and bullied, even before she had him at her mercy, did she? She should see! Anger had brightened his eyes; the room came clear again. And slowly raising himself he sounded the bell twice, for the girl, not for that fellow Meller, who was in the plot. As soon as her pretty black and white-aproned figure stood before him, he said:

His daughter had come up to him again. She was standing really close, in white satin, looking thin, pale, with raised eyebrows, and her dark hair was frizzy—yes! frizzy—like a holy woman! With all his strength, he tried to say, “So you’re bullying me, huh—you’re bullying me tonight!” but all that came out was the word “so” and a kind of whisper. He heard her saying, “It’s not going to help to get angry, Father. After champagne—it’s wicked!” Then her figure faded away in a rustling white mist; she was gone, and he could hear the sputtering and growling of her taxi taking her to the ball. So! She was tyrannizing and bullying him, even before she had him completely under her control, was she? She would see! Anger sparked in his eyes; the room became clear again. Slowly raising himself up, he rang the bell twice, for the girl, not for that guy Meller, who was in on the scheme. As soon as her pretty figure in a black dress and white apron appeared before him, he said:

“Help me up.”

"Help me up."

Twice her soft pulling was not enough, and he sank back. The third time he struggled to his feet.

Twice her gentle tugging wasn't enough, and he sank back down. The third time, he managed to get to his feet.

“Thank you; that'll do.” Then, waiting till she was gone, he crossed the room, fumbled open the sideboard door, and took out the bottle. Reaching over the polished oak, he grasped a sherry glass; and holding the bottle with both hands, tipped the liquor into it, put it to his lips and sucked. Drop by drop it passed over his palate mild, very old, old as himself, coloured like sunlight, fragrant. To the last drop he drank it, then hugging the bottle to his shirt-front, he moved snail-like to his chair, and fell back into its depths. For some minutes he remained there motionless, the bottle clasped to his chest, thinking: 'This is not the attitude of a gentleman. I must put it down on the table-on the table;' but a thick cloud was between him and everything. It was with his hands he would have to put the bottle on the table! But he could not find his hands, could not feel them. His mind see-sawed in strophe and antistrophe: “You can't move!”—“I will move!” “You're beaten”—“I'm not beat.” “Give up”—“I won't.” That struggle to find his hands seemed to last for ever—he must find them! After that—go down—all standing—after that! Everything round him was red. Then the red cloud cleared just a little, and he could hear the clock—“tick-tick-tick”; a faint sensation spread from his shoulders down to his wrists, down his palms; and yes—he could feel the bottle! He redoubled his struggle to get forward in his chair; to get forward and put the bottle down. It was not dignified like this! One arm he could move now; but he could not grip the bottle nearly tight enough to put it down. Working his whole body forward, inch by inch, he shifted himself up in the chair till he could lean sideways, and the bottle, slipping down his chest, dropped slanting to the edge of the low stool-table. Then with all his might he screwed his trunk and arms an inch further, and the bottle stood. He had done it—done it! His lips twitched into a smile; his body sagged back to its old position. He had done it! And he closed his eyes ....

“Thanks, that’s enough.” Once she left, he crossed the room, awkwardly opened the sideboard door, and took out the bottle. Reaching over the polished oak, he grabbed a sherry glass; and holding the bottle with both hands, poured the liquor into it, brought it to his lips, and sipped. Drop by drop, it flowed over his taste buds—smooth, very old, as old as he was, the color of sunlight, fragrant. He drank it to the last drop, then, clutching the bottle to his shirt, he slowly moved to his chair and sank back into its depths. For a few minutes, he stayed there, motionless, the bottle clutched to his chest, thinking: 'This isn’t how a gentleman behaves. I should put it down on the table—on the table;' but a heavy fog lay between him and everything. He had to use his hands to put the bottle on the table! But he couldn’t find them; he couldn’t feel them. His mind swung back and forth: “You can’t move!”—“I will move!” “You’re defeated”—“I’m not defeated.” “Give up”—“I won’t.” That struggle to find his hands felt endless—he had to find them! After that—get up—standing upright—after that! Everything around him was red. Then the red fog cleared a bit, and he heard the clock—“tick-tick-tick”; a faint sensation spread from his shoulders to his wrists, down to his palms; and yes—he could feel the bottle! He renewed his effort to shift in his chair; to move forward and set the bottle down. It wasn’t dignified like this! He could move one arm now; but he couldn’t grip the bottle tightly enough to set it down. Moving his whole body forward, inch by inch, he adjusted himself in the chair until he could lean sideways, and the bottle, slipping down his chest, tilted and rested on the edge of the low stool-table. Then, with all his strength, he twisted his trunk and arms just an inch more, and the bottle stood. He’d done it—he’d done it! A smile crept across his lips; his body sank back into its previous position. He had done it! And he closed his eyes ....

At half-past eleven the girl Molly, opening the door, looked at him and said softly: “Sirr! there's some ladies, and a gentleman!” But he did not answer. And, still holding the door, she whispered out into the hall:

At 11:30, the girl Molly opened the door, looked at him, and said softly, “Sir, there are some ladies and a gentleman!” But he didn’t respond. Still holding the door, she whispered out into the hallway:

“He's asleep, miss.”

"He's sleeping, miss."

A voice whispered back:

A voice replied:

“Oh! Just let me go in, I won't wake him unless he does. But I do want to show him my dress.”

“Oh! Just let me go in, I won't wake him unless he does. But I really want to show him my dress.”

The girl moved aside; and on tiptoe Phyllis passed in. She walked to where, between the lamp-glow and the fire-glow, she was lighted up. White satin—her first low-cut dress—the flush of her first supper party—a gardenia at her breast, another in her fingers! Oh! what a pity he was asleep! How red he looked! How funnily old men breathed! And mysteriously, as a child might, she whispered:

The girl stepped aside, and on her tiptoes, Phyllis entered. She walked to where the warm light from the lamp and the fire illuminated her. She wore white satin—her first low-cut dress—blushing from her first dinner party, with a gardenia at her chest and another between her fingers! Oh, what a shame he was asleep! He looked so flushed! The way old men breathed was so amusing! And, mysteriously, like a child might, she whispered:

“Guardy!”

“Guard!”

No answer! And pouting, she stood twiddling the gardenia. Then suddenly she thought: 'I'll put it in his buttonhole! When he wakes up and sees it, how he'll jump!'

No answer! Pouting, she stood fiddling with the gardenia. Then suddenly she thought, "I'll stick it in his buttonhole! When he wakes up and sees it, he’ll be so surprised!"

And stealing close, she bent and slipped it in. Two faces looked at her from round the door; she heard Bob Pillin's smothered chuckle; her mother's rich and feathery laugh. Oh! How red his forehead was! She touched it with her lips; skipped back, twirled round, danced silently a second, blew a kiss, and like quicksilver was gone.

And getting closer, she leaned down and slipped it in. Two faces peeked at her from around the door; she heard Bob Pillin's muffled laugh and her mother's warm, feathery chuckle. Wow! His forehead was so red! She kissed it, jumped back, spun around, danced quietly for a moment, blew a kiss, and then was gone in a flash.

And the whispering, the chuckling, and one little out-pealing laugh rose in the hall.

And the whispers, the chuckles, and one little burst of laughter echoed in the hall.

But the old man slept. Nor until Meller came at his usual hour of half-past twelve, was it known that he would never wake.

But the old man slept. It wasn't until Meller arrived at his usual time of 12:30 that it became clear he would never wake up.





THE APPLE TREE

              “The Apple-tree, the singing and the gold.”
                MURRAY'S “HIPPOLYTUS of EURIPIDES.”
 
              “The Apple Tree, the singing, and the gold.”
                MURRAY'S “HIPPOLYTUS of EURIPIDES.”

In their silver-wedding day Ashurst and his wife were motoring along the outskirts of the moor, intending to crown the festival by stopping the night at Torquay, where they had first met. This was the idea of Stella Ashurst, whose character contained a streak of sentiment. If she had long lost the blue-eyed, flower-like charm, the cool slim purity of face and form, the apple-blossom colouring, which had so swiftly and so oddly affected Ashurst twenty-six years ago, she was still at forty-three a comely and faithful companion, whose cheeks were faintly mottled, and whose grey-blue eyes had acquired a certain fullness.

On their silver wedding anniversary, Ashurst and his wife were driving along the edge of the moor, planning to celebrate by spending the night in Torquay, where they had first met. This was Stella Ashurst's idea, reflecting her sentimental side. Although she had long lost the blue-eyed, delicate charm, the cool, slim purity of her face and figure, and the apple-blossom complexion that had so quickly and oddly captivated Ashurst twenty-six years ago, she was still, at forty-three, a lovely and devoted partner, with softly mottled cheeks and grey-blue eyes that had gained a certain fullness.

It was she who had stopped the car where the common rose steeply to the left, and a narrow strip of larch and beech, with here and there a pine, stretched out towards the valley between the road and the first long high hill of the full moor. She was looking for a place where they might lunch, for Ashurst never looked for anything; and this, between the golden furze and the feathery green larches smelling of lemons in the last sun of April—this, with a view into the deep valley and up to the long moor heights, seemed fitting to the decisive nature of one who sketched in water-colours, and loved romantic spots. Grasping her paint box, she got out.

It was her who had stopped the car where the common rose steeply to the left, and a narrow strip of larch and beech, with a few pines here and there, stretched out towards the valley between the road and the first long, high hill of the full moor. She was looking for a place to have lunch, since Ashurst never looked for anything. This spot, between the golden furze and the feathery green larches that smelled of lemons in the last sun of April—this, with a view into the deep valley and up to the long moor heights, seemed perfect for someone who sketched in watercolors and loved romantic places. Grabbing her paintbox, she got out.

“Won't this do, Frank?”

"Isn't this enough, Frank?"

Ashurst, rather like a bearded Schiller, grey in the wings, tall, long-legged, with large remote grey eyes which sometimes filled with meaning and became almost beautiful, with nose a little to one side, and bearded lips just open—Ashurst, forty-eight, and silent, grasped the luncheon basket, and got out too.

Ashurst, resembling a bearded Schiller, gray at the edges, tall, long-legged, with large distant gray eyes that sometimes sparkled with meaning and became almost beautiful, with a nose slightly off-center and bearded lips slightly parted—Ashurst, at forty-eight and quiet, grabbed the lunch basket and stepped out as well.

“Oh! Look, Frank! A grave!”

“Oh! Look, Frank! A tomb!”

By the side of the road, where the track from the top of the common crossed it at right angles and ran through a gate past the narrow wood, was a thin mound of turf, six feet by one, with a moorstone to the west, and on it someone had thrown a blackthorn spray and a handful of bluebells. Ashurst looked, and the poet in him moved. At cross-roads—a suicide's grave! Poor mortals with their superstitions! Whoever lay there, though, had the best of it, no clammy sepulchre among other hideous graves carved with futilities—just a rough stone, the wide sky, and wayside blessings! And, without comment, for he had learned not to be a philosopher in the bosom of his family, he strode away up on to the common, dropped the luncheon basket under a wall, spread a rug for his wife to sit on—she would turn up from her sketching when she was hungry—and took from his pocket Murray's translation of the “Hippolytus.” He had soon finished reading of “The Cyprian” and her revenge, and looked at the sky instead. And watching the white clouds so bright against the intense blue, Ashurst, on his silver-wedding day, longed for—he knew not what. Maladjusted to life—man's organism! One's mode of life might be high and scrupulous, but there was always an undercurrent of greediness, a hankering, and sense of waste. Did women have it too? Who could tell? And yet, men who gave vent to their appetites for novelty, their riotous longings for new adventures, new risks, new pleasures, these suffered, no doubt, from the reverse side of starvation, from surfeit. No getting out of it—a maladjusted animal, civilised man! There could be no garden of his choosing, of “the Apple-tree, the singing, and the gold,” in the words of that lovely Greek chorus, no achievable elysium in life, or lasting haven of happiness for any man with a sense of beauty—nothing which could compare with the captured loveliness in a work of art, set down for ever, so that to look on it or read was always to have the same precious sense of exaltation and restful inebriety. Life no doubt had moments with that quality of beauty, of unbidden flying rapture, but the trouble was, they lasted no longer than the span of a cloud's flight over the sun; impossible to keep them with you, as Art caught beauty and held it fast. They were fleeting as one of the glimmering or golden visions one had of the soul in nature, glimpses of its remote and brooding spirit. Here, with the sun hot on his face, a cuckoo calling from a thorn tree, and in the air the honey savour of gorse—here among the little fronds of the young fern, the starry blackthorn, while the bright clouds drifted by high above the hills and dreamy valleys here and now was such a glimpse. But in a moment it would pass—as the face of Pan, which looks round the corner of a rock, vanishes at your stare. And suddenly he sat up. Surely there was something familiar about this view, this bit of common, that ribbon of road, the old wall behind him. While they were driving he had not been taking notice—never did; thinking of far things or of nothing—but now he saw! Twenty-six years ago, just at this time of year, from the farmhouse within half a mile of this very spot he had started for that day in Torquay whence it might be said he had never returned. And a sudden ache beset his heart; he had stumbled on just one of those past moments in his life, whose beauty and rapture he had failed to arrest, whose wings had fluttered away into the unknown; he had stumbled on a buried memory, a wild sweet time, swiftly choked and ended. And, turning on his face, he rested his chin on his hands, and stared at the short grass where the little blue milkwort was growing....

By the side of the road, where the path from the common met it at a right angle and went through a gate past a small wood, there was a low mound of grass, six feet long and one foot wide, with a stone nearby. Someone had laid a blackthorn branch and a handful of bluebells on it. Ashurst paused, and the poet in him stirred. At this crossroad—a suicide's grave! How sad it was, these beliefs of poor souls! Whoever lay there had it better, without a damp tomb among other grotesque graves etched with meaningless words—just a crude stone, the vast sky, and blessings from passersby! Without saying anything, because he had learned not to be philosophical around family, he walked up onto the common, set down the lunch basket against a wall, spread a rug for his wife to sit on—she would come back from her sketching when she was hungry—and pulled out Murray’s translation of “Hippolytus.” He quickly finished reading about “The Cyprian” and her revenge, then turned his gaze to the sky. As he watched the bright white clouds against the deep blue, Ashurst, on his silver wedding anniversary, felt a longing for something he couldn’t define. Out of sync with life—what a thing it was to be human! One’s way of living could be noble and principled, but there was always an undercurrent of greed, a desire, and a feeling of waste. Did women feel this too? Who could say? Yet men who indulged in their cravings for novelty, their wild desires for new adventures, risks, and pleasures, surely suffered from the opposite problem of excess. There was no escaping it—a misfit creature, civilized man! He could find no garden of his choice, no “Apple-tree, the singing, and the gold,” as that beautiful Greek chorus described, no achievable paradise in life, or lasting refuge of happiness for any man with an appreciation for beauty—nothing that could match the captured charm of a work of art, preserved forever, so that to see it or read it was to always share that same precious feeling of uplift and joyful intoxication. Life, no doubt, had moments of that kind of beauty, of unexpected soaring joy, but the problem was, they lasted no longer than the fleeting flight of a cloud across the sun; impossible to hold onto like Art, which captured beauty and retained it. They were as brief as one of those shimmering or golden visions of the soul in nature, glimpses of its distant and reflective spirit. Here, with the sun warm on his face, a cuckoo calling from a thorn tree, and the sweet scent of gorse in the air—among the tiny fronds of young ferns, the starry blackthorn, while the bright clouds floated high above the hills and dreamy valleys, here and now was such a glimpse. But it would pass in an instant—like the face of Pan, which disappears when you look at it directly. Suddenly, he sat up. There was something familiar about this view, this patch of common land, that stretch of road, the old wall behind him. While they were driving, he hadn’t been paying attention—he never did, thinking of distant things or nothing at all—but now he saw! Twenty-six years ago, right around this time of year, from the farmhouse less than a mile from here, he had set off for that day in Torquay from which it could be said he never returned. A sudden ache hit his heart; he had stumbled upon a moment from his past, a moment of beauty and joy he had failed to capture, whose wings had fluttered away into the unknown; he had unearthed a buried memory, a wild sweet time, swiftly choked off and finished. Laying his face down, he rested his chin on his hands and stared at the short grass where little blue milkwort was growing....





I

And this is what he remembered.

On the first of May, after their last year together at college, Frank Ashurst and his friend Robert Garton were on a tramp. They had walked that day from Brent, intending to make Chagford, but Ashurst's football knee had given out, and according to their map they had still some seven miles to go. They were sitting on a bank beside the-road, where a track crossed alongside a wood, resting the knee and talking of the universe, as young men will. Both were over six feet, and thin as rails; Ashurst pale, idealistic, full of absence; Garton queer, round-the-corner, knotted, curly, like some primeval beast. Both had a literary bent; neither wore a hat.

On May 1st, after their final year at college, Frank Ashurst and his friend Robert Garton were hiking. They had walked from Brent, planning to reach Chagford, but Ashurst's knee from playing football had given out, and according to their map, they still had about seven miles to go. They were sitting on a bank by the road, where a path ran alongside a wood, resting Ashurst's knee and discussing the universe, as young men tend to do. Both were over six feet tall and as thin as rails; Ashurst was pale, idealistic, and lost in thought, while Garton had a quirky, round-the-corner look, with knotted curls resembling some ancient creature. Both had a passion for literature, and neither wore a hat.

Ashurst's hair was smooth, pale, wavy, and had a way of rising on either side of his brow, as if always being flung back; Carton's was a kind of dark unfathomed mop. They had not met a soul for miles.

Ashurst's hair was straight, light-colored, wavy, and had a tendency to rise on either side of his forehead, as if it was constantly being tossed back; Carton's was a sort of dark, unruly mess. They hadn't encountered anyone for miles.

“My dear fellow,” Garton was saying, “pity's only an effect of self-consciousness; it's a disease of the last five thousand years. The world was happier without.”

“My dear friend,” Garton was saying, “pity is just a result of self-awareness; it's been a problem for the last five thousand years. The world was happier without it.”

Ashurst, following the clouds with his eyes, answered:

Ashurst, watching the clouds with his eyes, replied:

“It's the pearl in the oyster, anyway.”

“It's the pearl in the oyster, anyway.”

“My dear chap, all our modern unhappiness comes from pity. Look at animals, and Red Indians, limited to feeling their own occasional misfortunes; then look at ourselves—never free from feeling the toothaches of others. Let's get back to feeling for nobody, and have a better time.”

“My dear friend, all our modern unhappiness comes from feeling pity. Look at animals and Native Americans, who only experience their own occasional troubles; then look at us—never free from feeling the pain of others. Let's go back to not feeling for anyone, and enjoy life more.”

“You'll never practise that.”

"You'll never practice that."

Garton pensively stirred the hotch-potch of his hair.

Garton thoughtfully ran his fingers through his messy hair.

“To attain full growth, one mustn't be squeamish. To starve oneself emotionally's a mistake. All emotion is to the good—enriches life.”

“To fully grow, you can’t be squeamish. Starving yourself emotionally is a mistake. All emotion is valuable—it enriches life.”

“Yes, and when it runs up against chivalry?”

“Yes, and what happens when it clashes with chivalry?”

“Ah! That's so English! If you speak of emotion the English always think you want something physical, and are shocked. They're afraid of passion, but not of lust—oh, no!—so long as they can keep it secret.”

“Ah! That's so English! If you talk about feelings, the English always assume you want something physical and are taken aback. They’re scared of passion, but not of lust—oh, no!—as long as they can keep it a secret.”

Ashurst did not answer; he had plucked a blue floweret, and was twiddling it against the sky. A cuckoo began calling from a thorn tree. The sky, the flowers, the songs of birds! Robert was talking through his hat! And he said:

Ashurst didn’t reply; he had picked a blue flower and was fiddling with it against the sky. A cuckoo started calling from a thorn tree. The sky, the flowers, the bird songs! Robert was talking nonsense! And he said:

“Well, let's go on, and find some farm where we can put up.” In uttering those words, he was conscious of a girl coming down from the common just above them. She was outlined against the sky, carrying a basket, and you could see that sky through the crook of her arm. And Ashurst, who saw beauty without wondering how it could advantage him, thought: 'How pretty!' The wind, blowing her dark frieze skirt against her legs, lifted her battered peacock tam-o'-shanter; her greyish blouse was worn and old, her shoes were split, her little hands rough and red, her neck browned. Her dark hair waved untidy across her broad forehead, her face was short, her upper lip short, showing a glint of teeth, her brows were straight and dark, her lashes long and dark, her nose straight; but her grey eyes were the wonder-dewy as if opened for the first time that day. She looked at Ashurst—perhaps he struck her as strange, limping along without a hat, with his large eyes on her, and his hair falling back. He could not take off what was not on his head, but put up his hand in a salute, and said:

“Well, let's keep going and find a farm where we can stay.” As he said this, he noticed a girl coming down from the common just above them. She was silhouetted against the sky, holding a basket, and you could see the sky through the crook of her arm. Ashurst, who appreciated beauty without thinking about how it could benefit him, thought: 'How pretty!' The wind blew her dark frieze skirt against her legs and lifted her worn peacock tam-o'-shanter; her greyish blouse was old and tattered, her shoes were torn, her little hands were rough and red, and her neck was sun-kissed. Her dark hair was messily waved across her wide forehead, her face was short, her upper lip was also short, revealing a hint of teeth, her eyebrows were straight and dark, her lashes long and dark, and her nose was straight; but her grey eyes sparkled as if they had just opened for the first time that day. She looked at Ashurst—maybe she found him odd, limping along without a hat, with his large eyes fixed on her and his hair pushed back. He couldn’t remove what he didn’t have on his head, but he raised his hand in a salute and said:

“Can you tell us if there's a farm near here where we could stay the night? I've gone lame.”

“Can you let us know if there's a farm nearby where we can spend the night? I'm injured.”

“There's only our farm near, sir.” She spoke without shyness, in a pretty soft crisp voice.

“There's only our farm nearby, sir.” She spoke confidently, in a nice soft, clear voice.

“And where is that?”

"Where's that?"

“Down here, sir.”

“Right here, sir.”

“Would you put us up?”

“Can you host us?”

“Oh! I think we would.”

“Oh! I think we will.”

“Will you show us the way?”

“Will you show us the way?”

“Yes, Sir.”

"Yes, Sir."

He limped on, silent, and Garton took up the catechism.

He limped on quietly, and Garton picked up the catechism.

“Are you a Devonshire girl?”

“Are you from Devon?”

“No, Sir.”

“No, sir.”

“What then?”

"What now?"

“From Wales.”

“From Wales.”

“Ah! I thought you were a Celt; so it's not your farm?”

“Ah! I thought you were a Celt; so it’s not your farm?”

“My aunt's, sir.”

“My aunt's place, sir.”

“And your uncle's?”

“And your uncle’s?”

“He is dead.”

“He's gone.”

“Who farms it, then?”

"Who runs the farm, then?"

“My aunt, and my three cousins.”

“My aunt and my three cousins.”

“But your uncle was a Devonshire man?”

"But your uncle was from Devonshire?"

“Yes, Sir.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Have you lived here long?”

“Have you been here long?”

“Seven years.”

"7 years."

“And how d'you like it after Wales?”

“And how do you like it after Wales?”

“I don't know, sir.”

"IDK, sir."

“I suppose you don't remember?”

"Guess you don't remember?"

“Oh, yes! But it is different.”

“Oh, yes! But it’s changed.”

“I believe you!”

"I believe you!"

Ashurst broke in suddenly: “How old are you?”

Ashurst interrupted abruptly, “How old are you?”

“Seventeen, Sir.”

"Seventeen, sir."

“And what's your name?”

“And what's your name?”

“Megan David.”

“Megan David.”

“This is Robert Garton, and I am Frank Ashurst. We wanted to get on to Chagford.”

“This is Robert Garton, and I’m Frank Ashurst. We wanted to head to Chagford.”

“It is a pity your leg is hurting you.”

“It’s a shame your leg is hurting you.”

Ashurst smiled, and when he smiled his face was rather beautiful.

Ashurst smiled, and when he did, his face was quite beautiful.

Descending past the narrow wood, they came on the farm suddenly-a long, low, stone-built dwelling with casement windows, in a farmyard where pigs and fowls and an old mare were straying. A short steep-up grass hill behind was crowned with a few Scotch firs, and in front, an old orchard of apple trees, just breaking into flower, stretched down to a stream and a long wild meadow. A little boy with oblique dark eyes was shepherding a pig, and by the house door stood a woman, who came towards them. The girl said:

Descending past the narrow woods, they suddenly spotted the farm—a long, low, stone house with casement windows, surrounded by a yard where pigs, chickens, and an old mare were wandering. A short, steep grassy hill behind was topped with a few Scotch firs, and in front, an old apple orchard, just beginning to bloom, extended down to a stream and a long wild meadow. A little boy with slanted dark eyes was herding a pig, and by the front door stood a woman who approached them. The girl said:

“It is Mrs. Narracombe, my aunt.”

“It’s my aunt, Mrs. Narracombe.”

“Mrs. Narracombe, my aunt,” had a quick, dark eye, like a mother wild-duck's, and something of the same snaky turn about her neck.

“Mrs. Narracombe, my aunt,” had a sharp, dark eye, like a mother wild duck's, and a similar serpentine twist to her neck.

“We met your niece on the road,” said Ashurst; “she thought you might perhaps put us up for the night.”

“We ran into your niece on the way,” said Ashurst; “she thought you might let us stay for the night.”

Mrs. Narracombe, taking them in from head to heel, answered:

Mrs. Narracombe, looking them over from head to toe, replied:

“Well, I can, if you don't mind one room. Megan, get the spare room ready, and a bowl of cream. You'll be wanting tea, I suppose.”

“Well, I can, if you don't mind one room. Megan, prepare the spare room and get a bowl of cream. You’ll want tea, I guess.”

Passing through a sort of porch made by two yew trees and some flowering-currant bushes, the girl disappeared into the house, her peacock tam-o'-shanter bright athwart that rosy-pink and the dark green of the yews.

Passing through a sort of porch created by two yew trees and some flowering currant bushes, the girl vanished into the house, her bright peacock tam-o'-shanter contrasting with the rosy pink and the dark green of the yews.

“Will you come into the parlour and rest your leg? You'll be from college, perhaps?”

“Will you come into the living room and rest your leg? You must be from college, right?”

“We were, but we've gone down now.”

“We were, but now we’ve gone down.”

Mrs. Narracombe nodded sagely.

Mrs. Narracombe nodded wisely.

The parlour, brick-floored, with bare table and shiny chairs and sofa stuffed with horsehair, seemed never to have been used, it was so terribly clean. Ashurst sat down at once on the sofa, holding his lame knee between his hands, and Mrs. Narracombe gazed at him. He was the only son of a late professor of chemistry, but people found a certain lordliness in one who was often so sublimely unconscious of them.

The parlor, with its brick floor, empty table, and shiny chairs and sofa stuffed with horsehair, looked like it had never been touched; it was just too pristine. Ashurst immediately sat down on the sofa, cradling his injured knee in his hands, while Mrs. Narracombe watched him. He was the only son of a deceased chemistry professor, but people sensed a certain nobility in someone who was often so blissfully unaware of them.

“Is there a stream where we could bathe?”

“Is there a stream where we can take a bath?”

“There's the strame at the bottom of the orchard, but sittin' down you'll not be covered!”

“There's a stream at the bottom of the orchard, but if you sit down, you won't be protected!”

“How deep?”

"How deep is it?"

“Well, 'tis about a foot and a half, maybe.”

“Well, it's about a foot and a half, maybe.”

“Oh! That'll do fine. Which way?”

“Oh! That works great. Which way?”

“Down the lane, through the second gate on the right, an' the pool's by the big apple tree that stands by itself. There's trout there, if you can tickle them.”

“Go down the lane, through the second gate on the right, and the pool is next to the big apple tree that stands alone. There are trout there if you know how to catch them by hand.”

“They're more likely to tickle us!”

“They're more likely to make us laugh!”

Mrs. Narracombe smiled. “There'll be the tea ready when you come back.”

Mrs. Narracombe smiled. “The tea will be ready when you get back.”

The pool, formed by the damming of a rock, had a sandy bottom; and the big apple tree, lowest in the orchard, grew so close that its boughs almost overhung the water; it was in leaf, and all but in flower-its crimson buds just bursting. There was not room for more than one at a time in that narrow bath, and Ashurst waited his turn, rubbing his knee and gazing at the wild meadow, all rocks and thorn trees and feld flowers, with a grove of beeches beyond, raised up on a flat mound. Every bough was swinging in the wind, every spring bird calling, and a slanting sunlight dappled the grass. He thought of Theocritus, and the river Cherwell, of the moon, and the maiden with the dewy eyes; of so many things that he seemed to think of nothing; and he felt absurdly happy.

The pool, created by a rock dam, had a sandy bottom; and the large apple tree, the lowest in the orchard, grew so close that its branches almost hung over the water. It was filled with leaves and nearly in bloom—its crimson buds just starting to open. There was room for only one person at a time in that narrow bath, and Ashurst waited for his turn, rubbing his knee and staring at the wild meadow, filled with rocks, thorn bushes, and field flowers, with a grove of beeches on a small hill in the background. Every branch swayed in the wind, every spring bird called out, and the sunlight cast dappled patterns on the grass. He thought about Theocritus, the river Cherwell, the moon, and the girl with the dewy eyes; of so many things that it felt like he was thinking of nothing, and he felt strangely happy.





2

During a late and sumptuous tea with eggs to it, cream and jam, and thin, fresh cakes touched with saffron, Garton descanted on the Celts. It was about the period of the Celtic awakening, and the discovery that there was Celtic blood about this family had excited one who believed that he was a Celt himself. Sprawling on a horse hair chair, with a hand-made cigarette dribbling from the corner of his curly lips, he had been plunging his cold pin-points of eyes into Ashurst's and praising the refinement of the Welsh. To come out of Wales into England was like the change from china to earthenware! Frank, as a d—-d Englishman, had not of course perceived the exquisite refinement and emotional capacity of that Welsh girl! And, delicately stirring in the dark mat of his still wet hair, he explained how exactly she illustrated the writings of the Welsh bard Morgan-ap-Something in the twelfth century.

During a late and lavish tea with eggs, cream, jam, and delicate, fresh cakes touched with saffron, Garton went on about the Celts. It was around the time of the Celtic revival, and discovering that there was Celtic blood in this family thrilled someone who believed he was a Celt himself. Relaxing in a horsehair chair, with a hand-rolled cigarette hanging from the corner of his curly lips, he had been staring intensely into Ashurst's eyes and praising the sophistication of the Welsh. Coming from Wales into England felt like the shift from china to earthenware! Frank, as a classic Englishman, clearly didn’t appreciate the exquisite refinement and emotional depth of that Welsh girl! And, gently running his fingers through his still damp hair, he explained how perfectly she embodied the writings of the Welsh bard Morgan-ap-Something from the twelfth century.

Ashurst, full length on the horsehair sofa, and jutting far beyond its end, smoked a deeply-coloured pipe, and did not listen, thinking of the girl's face when she brought in a relay of cakes. It had been exactly like looking at a flower, or some other pretty sight in Nature-till, with a funny little shiver, she had lowered her glance and gone out, quiet as a mouse.

Ashurst lay stretched out on the horsehair sofa, sticking out way beyond its edge, smoking a dark-colored pipe and not paying attention as he thought about the girl’s face when she brought in a fresh batch of cakes. It had been just like looking at a flower or some other beautiful sight in nature—until, with a little shiver, she had lowered her gaze and left, as silent as a mouse.

“Let's go to the kitchen,” said Garton, “and see some more of her.”

“Let’s head to the kitchen,” said Garton, “and check her out some more.”

The kitchen was a white-washed room with rafters, to which were attached smoked hams; there were flower-pots on the window-sill, and guns hanging on nails, queer mugs, china and pewter, and portraits of Queen Victoria. A long, narrow table of plain wood was set with bowls and spoons, under a string of high-hung onions; two sheep-dogs and three cats lay here and there. On one side of the recessed fireplace sat two small boys, idle, and good as gold; on the other sat a stout, light-eyed, red-faced youth with hair and lashes the colour of the tow he was running through the barrel of a gun; between them Mrs. Narracombe dreamily stirred some savoury-scented stew in a large pot. Two other youths, oblique-eyed, dark-haired, rather sly-faced, like the two little boys, were talking together and lolling against the wall; and a short, elderly, clean-shaven man in corduroys, seated in the window, was conning a battered journal. The girl Megan seemed the only active creature-drawing cider and passing with the jugs from cask to table. Seeing them thus about to eat, Garton said:

The kitchen was a whitewashed room with exposed beams, where smoked hams were hanging; there were flower pots on the windowsill, guns hanging on nails, odd mugs, and china and pewter, along with portraits of Queen Victoria. A long, narrow wooden table was set with bowls and spoons, below a line of onions hanging high; two sheepdogs and three cats were spread out here and there. On one side of the recessed fireplace sat two small boys, idle but sweet-natured; on the other sat a stocky, light-eyed, red-faced young man with hair and eyelashes the same color as the tow he was feeding into the barrel of a gun; between them, Mrs. Narracombe dreamily stirred some savory-smelling stew in a large pot. Two other young men, with slanted eyes and dark hair, looking somewhat sly like the two little boys, were chatting and lounging against the wall; and a short elderly man with a clean-shaven face in corduroys, sitting by the window, was reading an old journal. The girl, Megan, seemed to be the only active one, drawing cider and moving the jugs from the cask to the table. Seeing them all gathered and about to eat, Garton said:

“Ah! If you'll let us, we'll come back when supper's over,” and without waiting for an answer they withdrew again to the parlour. But the colour in the kitchen, the warmth, the scents, and all those faces, heightened the bleakness of their shiny room, and they resumed their seats moodily.

“Ah! If you’ll let us, we’ll come back after dinner,” and without waiting for a response, they returned to the living room. But the colors in the kitchen, the warmth, the smells, and all those faces made their shiny room feel even more depressing, and they sat down again with a gloomy mood.

“Regular gipsy type, those boys. There was only one Saxon—the fellow cleaning the gun. That girl is a very subtle study psychologically.”

“Typical gipsy guys, those boys. There was only one Saxon—the guy cleaning the gun. That girl is a very interesting psychological study.”

Ashurst's lips twitched. Garton seemed to him an ass just then. Subtle study! She was a wild flower. A creature it did you good to look at. Study!

Ashurst's lips twitched. Garton seemed like a fool to him at that moment. Subtle study! She was a wildflower. A sight that lifted your spirits. Study!

Garton went on:

Garton continued:

“Emotionally she would be wonderful. She wants awakening.”

“Emotionally, she would be amazing. She wants to be awakened.”

“Are you going to awaken her?”

“Are you going to wake her up?”

Garton looked at him and smiled. 'How coarse and English you are!' that curly smile seemed saying.

Garton looked at him and smiled. 'How rough and English you are!' that curly smile seemed to say.

And Ashurst puffed his pipe. Awaken her! That fool had the best opinion of himself! He threw up the window and leaned out. Dusk had gathered thick. The farm buildings and the wheel-house were all dim and bluish, the apple trees but a blurred wilderness; the air smelled of woodsmoke from the kitchen fire. One bird going to bed later than the others was uttering a half-hearted twitter, as though surprised at the darkness. From the stable came the snuffle and stamp of a feeding horse. And away over there was the loom of the moor, and away and away the shy stars which had not as yet full light, pricking white through the deep blue heavens. A quavering owl hooted. Ashurst drew a deep breath. What a night to wander out in! A padding of unshod hoofs came up the lane, and three dim, dark shapes passed—ponies on an evening march. Their heads, black and fuzzy, showed above the gate. At the tap of his pipe, and a shower of little sparks, they shied round and scampered. A bat went fluttering past, uttering its almost inaudible “chip, chip.” Ashurst held out his hand; on the upturned palm he could feel the dew. Suddenly from overhead he heard little burring boys' voices, little thumps of boots thrown down, and another voice, crisp and soft—the girl's putting them to bed, no doubt; and nine clear words “No, Rick, you can't have the cat in bed”; then came a skirmish of giggles and gurgles, a soft slap, a laugh so low and pretty that it made him shiver a little. A blowing sound, and the glim of the candle which was fingering the dusk above, went out; silence reigned. Ashurst withdrew into the room and sat down; his knee pained him, and his soul felt gloomy.

And Ashurst puffed on his pipe. Wake her up! That idiot had such a high opinion of himself! He threw open the window and leaned out. Dusk had settled in thick. The farm buildings and the wheel-house were all dim and bluish, the apple trees a blurry mess; the air smelled of woodsmoke from the kitchen fire. One bird, staying up later than the others, let out a half-hearted chirp, almost surprised by the darkness. From the stable came the snuffle and stamp of a horse that was eating. And over there was the outline of the moor, and far away the shy stars, not fully bright yet, twinkled white against the deep blue sky. An owl hooted with a quavering sound. Ashurst took a deep breath. What a night for a stroll! The sound of unshod hooves padded up the lane, and three dim, dark shapes passed—ponies out for an evening walk. Their black, fuzzy heads appeared above the gate. At the tap of his pipe, sending a shower of tiny sparks, they startled and darted away. A bat fluttered past, making its almost inaudible "chip, chip." Ashurst held out his hand; he could feel the dew on his palm. Suddenly, from above, he heard the little voices of boys making burring sounds, little boots thumping down, and another voice, crisp and soft—probably the girl's putting them to bed, with nine clear words: "No, Rick, you can't have the cat in bed"; then a skirmish of giggles and gurgles, a soft slap, and a laugh so low and sweet that it made him shiver a bit. A blowing sound, and the flicker of the candle illuminating the dusk above went out; silence fell. Ashurst retreated into the room and sat down; his knee hurt, and he felt gloomy.

“You go to the kitchen,” he said; “I'm going to bed.”

“You go to the kitchen,” he said. “I’m heading to bed.”





3

For Ashurst the wheel of slumber was wont to turn noiseless and slick and swift, but though he seemed sunk in sleep when his companion came up, he was really wide awake; and long after Carton, smothered in the other bed of that low-roofed room, was worshipping darkness with his upturned nose, he heard the owls. Barring the discomfort of his knee, it was not unpleasant—the cares of life did not loom large in night watches for this young man. In fact he had none; just enrolled a barrister, with literary aspirations, the world before him, no father or mother, and four hundred a year of his own. Did it matter where he went, what he did, or when he did it? His bed, too, was hard, and this preserved him from fever. He lay, sniffing the scent of the night which drifted into the low room through the open casement close to his head. Except for a definite irritation with his friend, natural when you have tramped with a man for three days, Ashurst's memories and visions that sleepless night were kindly and wistful and exciting. One vision, specially clear and unreasonable, for he had not even been conscious of noting it, was the face of the youth cleaning the gun; its intent, stolid, yet startled uplook at the kitchen doorway, quickly shifted to the girl carrying the cider jug. This red, blue-eyed, light-lashed, tow-haired face stuck as firmly in his memory as the girl's own face, so dewy and simple. But at last, in the square of darkness through the uncurtained casement, he saw day coming, and heard one hoarse and sleepy caw. Then followed silence, dead as ever, till the song of a blackbird, not properly awake, adventured into the hush. And, from staring at the framed brightening light, Ashurst fell asleep.

For Ashurst, the wheel of sleep would usually turn quietly, smoothly, and quickly. However, even though he appeared to be deep in sleep when his companion arrived, he was actually wide awake. Long after Carton, buried beneath the covers in the other bed of that low-roofed room, was lost in darkness with his nose pointed upward, Ashurst could hear the owls. Aside from the discomfort in his knee, it wasn't unpleasant—the worries of life didn't feel overwhelming to this young man during the night. In fact, he had no worries; he had just started as a barrister, had literary dreams, the world ahead of him, no parents to think of, and four hundred a year of his own. Did it matter where he went, what he did, or when he did it? His bed was hard, which kept him from getting feverish. He lay there, inhaling the night air that floated into the small room through the open window by his head. Except for some irritation with his friend, which is natural after trekking with someone for three days, Ashurst's memories and visions that sleepless night were warm, nostalgic, and thrilling. One particularly vivid and strange vision, which he hadn’t even realized he was remembering, was the face of the young man cleaning the gun; its focused, serious yet surprised look at the kitchen doorway swiftly shifted to the girl carrying the cider jug. That red, blue-eyed, light-lashed, tow-haired face was etched in his memory just as firmly as the girl’s own face, which was so fresh and simple. But finally, in the patch of darkness through the uncurtained window, he saw the daybreak and heard a hoarse, sleepy caw. Then silence followed, as still as ever, until a blackbird, not quite awake, ventured into the quiet with its song. And as he stared at the brightening light, Ashurst fell asleep.

Next day his knee was badly swollen; the walking tour was obviously over. Garton, due back in London on the morrow, departed at midday with an ironical smile which left a scar of irritation—healed the moment his loping figure vanished round the corner of the steep lane. All day Ashurst rested his knee, in a green-painted wooden chair on the patch of grass by the yew-tree porch, where the sunlight distilled the scent of stocks and gillyflowers, and a ghost of scent from the flowering-currant bushes. Beatifically he smoked, dreamed, watched.

The next day his knee was really swollen; the walking tour was clearly over. Garton, who was supposed to be back in London the next day, left at noon with a sarcastic smile that left a hint of irritation—gone the moment his long stride disappeared around the corner of the steep lane. All day Ashurst sat with his knee propped up in a green-painted wooden chair on the patch of grass by the yew-tree porch, where the sunlight brought out the fragrance of stocks and gillyflowers, along with a hint of aroma from the flowering-currant bushes. Peacefully, he smoked, daydreamed, and observed.

A farm in spring is all birth-young things coming out of bud and shell, and human beings watching over the process with faint excitement feeding and tending what has been born. So still the young man sat, that a mother-goose, with stately cross-footed waddle, brought her six yellow-necked grey-backed goslings to strop their little beaks against the grass blades at his feet. Now and again Mrs. Narracombe or the girl Megan would come and ask if he wanted anything, and he would smile and say: “Nothing, thanks. It's splendid here.” Towards tea-time they came out together, bearing a long poultice of some dark stuff in a bowl, and after a long and solemn scrutiny of his swollen knee, bound it on. When they were gone, he thought of the girl's soft “Oh!”—of her pitying eyes, and the little wrinkle in her brow. And again he felt that unreasoning irritation against his departed friend, who had talked such rot about her. When she brought out his tea, he said:

A farm in spring is all about new life—young things coming out of buds and shells, and people watching over the process with a subtle excitement, feeding and caring for what has been born. The young man sat so still that a mother goose, with her dignified waddle, brought her six yellow-necked, grey-backed goslings to rub their tiny beaks against the grass blades at his feet. Now and then, Mrs. Narracombe or the girl Megan would come by to check if he needed anything, and he would smile and say, “Nothing, thanks. It’s wonderful here.” As tea time approached, they came out together, carrying a long poultice of some dark substance in a bowl, and after a long and serious examination of his swollen knee, they applied it. When they left, he thought of the girl’s soft “Oh!”—her sympathetic eyes, and the little crease in her brow. Again, he felt that unreasonable irritation towards his absent friend, who had talked such nonsense about her. When she brought out his tea, he said:

“How did you like my friend, Megan?”

“How did you think of my friend, Megan?”

She forced down her upper lip, as if afraid that to smile was not polite. “He was a funny gentleman; he made us laugh. I think he is very clever.”

She pressed her upper lip down, as if worried that smiling wasn't proper. “He was a funny guy; he made us laugh. I think he's really smart.”

“What did he say to make you laugh?”

“What did he say that made you laugh?”

“He said I was a daughter of the bards. What are they?”

“He said I was a daughter of the bards. What are those?”

“Welsh poets, who lived hundreds of years ago.”

“Welsh poets who lived hundreds of years ago.”

“Why am I their daughter, please?”

“Why am I their daughter, please?”

“He meant that you were the sort of girl they sang about.”

“He meant that you were the kind of girl they write songs about.”

She wrinkled her brows. “I think he likes to joke. Am I?”

She furrowed her brows. “I think he likes to joke. Do I?”

“Would you believe me, if I told you?”

“Would you believe me if I told you?”

“Oh, yes.”

“Totally.”

“Well, I think he was right.”

“Well, I think he was correct.”

She smiled.

She smiled.

And Ashurst thought: 'You are a pretty thing!'

And Ashurst thought, 'You're a nice one!'

“He said, too, that Joe was a Saxon type. What would that be?”

“He also said that Joe was a Saxon type. What does that even mean?”

“Which is Joe? With the blue eyes and red face?”

“Which one is Joe? The one with the blue eyes and red face?”

“Yes. My uncle's nephew.”

“Yes. My uncle's nephew.”

“Not your cousin, then?”

“Not your cousin, right?”

“No.”

“No.”

“Well, he meant that Joe was like the men who came over to England about fourteen hundred years ago, and conquered it.”

“Well, he meant that Joe was like the guys who came to England around fourteen hundred years ago and took it over.”

“Oh! I know about them; but is he?”

“Oh! I know about them; but does he?”

“Garton's crazy about that sort of thing; but I must say Joe does look a bit Early Saxon.”

“Garton's really into that kind of thing; but I have to say Joe does look a bit like he’s from the Early Saxon period.”

“Yes.”

“Yeah.”

That “Yes” tickled Ashurst. It was so crisp and graceful, so conclusive, and politely acquiescent in what was evidently. Greek to her.

That “Yes” amused Ashurst. It was so clear and elegant, so definitive, and politely accepting of what was clearly foreign to her.

“He said that all the other boys were regular gipsies. He should not have said that. My aunt laughed, but she didn't like it, of course, and my cousins were angry. Uncle was a farmer—farmers are not gipsies. It is wrong to hurt people.”

“He said that all the other boys were just a bunch of gypsies. He shouldn't have said that. My aunt laughed, but she didn't really like it, and my cousins were upset. Uncle was a farmer—farmers aren't gypsies. It's wrong to hurt people.”

Ashurst wanted to take her hand and give it a squeeze, but he only answered:

Ashurst wanted to take her hand and squeeze it, but he just replied:

“Quite right, Megan. By the way, I heard you putting the little ones to bed last night.”

“Exactly, Megan. By the way, I heard you getting the kids ready for bed last night.”

She flushed a little. “Please to drink your tea—it is getting cold. Shall I get you some fresh?”

She blushed a bit. “Please drink your tea—it's getting cold. Do you want me to get you some fresh?”

“Do you ever have time to do anything for yourself?”

“Do you ever have time to do something for yourself?”

“Oh! Yes.”

“Oh! Yes.”

“I've been watching, but I haven't seen it yet.”

“I've been watching, but I still haven't seen it.”

She wrinkled her brows in a puzzled frown, and her colour deepened.

She furrowed her brows in a confused frown, and her face flushed.

When she was gone, Ashurst thought: 'Did she think I was chaffing her? I wouldn't for the world!' He was at that age when to some men “Beauty's a flower,” as the poet says, and inspires in them the thoughts of chivalry. Never very conscious of his surroundings, it was some time before he was aware that the youth whom Garton had called “a Saxon type” was standing outside the stable door; and a fine bit of colour he made in his soiled brown velvet-cords, muddy gaiters, and blue shirt; red-armed, red-faced, the sun turning his hair from tow to flax; immovably stolid, persistent, unsmiling he stood. Then, seeing Ashurst looking at him, he crossed the yard at that gait of the young countryman always ashamed not to be slow and heavy-dwelling on each leg, and disappeared round the end of the house towards the kitchen entrance. A chill came over Ashurst's mood. Clods? With all the good will in the world, how impossible to get on terms with them! And yet—see that girl! Her shoes were split, her hands rough; but—what was it? Was it really her Celtic blood, as Garton had said?—she was a lady born, a jewel, though probably she could do no more than just read and write!

When she left, Ashurst thought, 'Did she think I was teasing her? I wouldn’t do that for anything!' He was at that age when to some men “Beauty's a flower,” as the poet puts it, and it stirs thoughts of chivalry in them. Never very aware of his surroundings, it took him a while to notice that the young man Garton had referred to as “a Saxon type” was standing outside the stable door. He was a striking sight in his dirty brown velvet cords, muddy gaiters, and blue shirt; with red arms and a flushed face, the sun turning his hair from dull to bright; he stood there, solid, persistent, and unsmiling. Then, noticing Ashurst was looking at him, he walked across the yard with the gait of a young countryman who always feels the need to be slow and heavy on each leg, disappearing around the side of the house towards the kitchen entrance. A chill settled over Ashurst’s mood. Clods? No matter how well-meaning he was, it felt impossible to connect with them! And yet—look at that girl! Her shoes were torn, her hands were rough; but—what was it? Was it really her Celtic blood, as Garton had said?—she was a born lady, a treasure, even if she could probably only read and write!

The elderly, clean-shaven man he had seen last night in the kitchen had come into the yard with a dog, driving the cows to their milking. Ashurst saw that he was lame.

The older, clean-shaven man he had seen the night before in the kitchen had come into the yard with a dog, herding the cows for milking. Ashurst noticed that he had a limp.

“You've got some good ones there!”

"You've got some great ones there!"

The lame man's face brightened. He had the upward look in his eyes which prolonged suffering often brings.

The lame man's face lit up. He had that hopeful look in his eyes that long-lasting pain often brings.

“Yeas; they'm praaper buties; gude milkers tu.”

“Yeah; they're proper beauties; good milking cows too.”

“I bet they are.”

“I bet they are.”

“'Ope as yure leg's better, zurr.”

“Ope as your leg's better, sir.”

“Thank you, it's getting on.”

“Thanks, it’s getting late.”

The lame man touched his own: “I know what 'tes, meself; 'tes a main worritin' thing, the knee. I've a-'.d mine bad this ten year.”

The lame man touched his own: “I know what it is, myself; it’s a really worrying thing, the knee. I’ve had mine bad for ten years.”

Ashurst made the sound of sympathy which comes so readily from those who have an independent income, and the lame man smiled again.

Ashurst made the sympathetic sound that's so common from people with a steady income, and the disabled man smiled again.

“Mustn't complain, though—they mighty near 'ad it off.”

“Can’t complain, though—they almost had it off.”

“Ho!”

"Hey!"

“Yeas; an' compared with what 'twas, 'tes almost so gude as nu.”

"Yeah, and compared to what it was, it's almost as good as new."

“They've put a bandage of splendid stuff on mine.”

“They've put a fantastic bandage on mine.”

“The maid she picks et. She'm a gude maid wi' the flowers. There's folks zeem to know the healin' in things. My mother was a rare one for that. 'Ope as yu'll zune be better, zurr. Goo ahn, therr!”

“The maid she picks it. She's a good maid with the flowers. There are people who seem to know the healing in things. My mother was really good at that. 'Hope you'll soon feel better, sir. Go on, there!”

Ashurst smiled. “Wi' the flowers!” A flower herself!

Ashurst smiled. “With the flowers!” A flower herself!

That evening, after his supper of cold duck, junket, and cider, the girl came in.

That evening, after his dinner of cold duck, junket, and cider, the girl came in.

“Please, auntie says—will you try a piece of our Mayday cake?”

“Please, my aunt says—will you try a slice of our Mayday cake?”

“If I may come to the kitchen for it.”

“If I can come to the kitchen for it.”

“Oh, yes! You'll be missing your friend.”

“Oh, definitely! You'll be missing your friend.”

“Not I. But are you sure no one minds?”

“Not me. But are you sure no one cares?”

“Who would mind? We shall be very pleased.”

“Who would care? We’ll be very happy.”

Ashurst rose too suddenly for his stiff knee, staggered, and subsided. The girl gave a little gasp, and held out her hands. Ashurst took them, small, rough, brown; checked his impulse to put them to his lips, and let her pull him up. She came close beside him, offering her shoulder. And leaning on her he walked across the room. That shoulder seemed quite the pleasantest thing he had ever touched. But, he had presence of mind enough to catch his stick out of the rack, and withdraw his hand before arriving at the kitchen.

Ashurst stood up too quickly for his stiff knee, stumbled, and sat back down. The girl gasped a little and reached out her hands. Ashurst took them—small, rough, and brown—held back the urge to kiss them, and let her pull him up. She came right beside him, offering her shoulder. Leaning on her, he walked across the room. That shoulder felt like the nicest thing he had ever touched. However, he was smart enough to grab his cane from the rack and pull his hand away before they got to the kitchen.

That night he slept like a top, and woke with his knee of almost normal size. He again spent the morning in his chair on the grass patch, scribbling down verses; but in the afternoon he wandered about with the two little boys Nick and Rick. It was Saturday, so they were early home from school; quick, shy, dark little rascals of seven and six, soon talkative, for Ashurst had a way with children. By four o'clock they had shown him all their methods of destroying life, except the tickling of trout; and with breeches tucked up, lay on their stomachs over the trout stream, pretending they had this accomplishment also. They tickled nothing, of course, for their giggling and shouting scared every spotted thing away. Ashurst, on a rock at the edge of the beech clump, watched them, and listened to the cuckoos, till Nick, the elder and less persevering, came up and stood beside him.

That night he slept really well and woke up with his knee almost back to normal size. He spent the morning in his chair on the grassy patch, writing down some verses; but in the afternoon, he wandered around with the two little boys, Nick and Rick. It was Saturday, so they were home early from school; quick, shy, dark little rascals aged seven and six, who quickly became talkative because Ashurst had a good rapport with kids. By four o'clock, they had shown him all their ways of catching fish, except for tickling trout; and with their pants rolled up, they lay on their stomachs over the trout stream, pretending they had that skill too. They didn’t actually tickle anything, of course, since their giggling and shouting scared away every spotted fish. Ashurst, sitting on a rock at the edge of the beech grove, watched them and listened to the cuckoos, until Nick, the older and less patient one, came up and stood beside him.

“The gipsy bogle zets on that stone,” he said.

“The gypsy ghost sits on that stone,” he said.

“What gipsy bogie?”

"What ghost story?"

“Dunno; never zeen 'e. Megan zays 'e zets there; an' old Jim zeed 'e once. 'E was zettin' there naight afore our pony kicked—in father's 'ead. 'E plays the viddle.”

“Dunno; never seen him. Megan says he sits there; and old Jim saw him once. He was sitting there the night before our pony kicked—into father's head. He plays the fiddle.”

“What tune does he play?”

“What song does he play?”

“Dunno.”

"Don't know."

“What's he like?”

"What's he like?"

“'E's black. Old Jim zays 'e's all over 'air. 'E's a praaper bogle. 'E don' come only at naight.” The little boy's oblique dark eyes slid round. “D'yu think 'e might want to take me away? Megan's feared of 'e.”

“He's black. Old Jim says he's all over the place. He's a proper ghost. He doesn't just come at night.” The little boy's dark eyes glanced around. “Do you think he might want to take me away? Megan's scared of him.”

“Has she seen him?”

"Has she seen him yet?"

“No. She's not afeared o' yu.”

“No. She's not afraid of you.”

“I should think not. Why should she be?”

“I don't think so. Why should she be?”

“She zays a prayer for yu.”

“She says a prayer for you.”

“How do you know that, you little rascal?”

“How do you know that, you little troublemaker?”

“When I was asleep, she said: 'God bless us all, an' Mr. Ashes.' I yeard 'er whisperin'.”

“When I was asleep, she said: 'God bless us all, and Mr. Ashes.' I heard her whispering.”

“You're a little ruffian to tell what you hear when you're not meant to hear it!”

“You're a little troublemaker for sharing things you shouldn’t have overheard!”

The little boy was silent. Then he said aggressively:

The little boy was quiet. Then he said defiantly:

“I can skin rabbets. Megan, she can't bear skinnin' 'em. I like blood.”

“I can skin rabbits. Megan can't stand doing it. I like blood.”

“Oh! you do; you little monster!”

“Oh! you do; you little troublemaker!”

“What's that?”

“What’s that?”

“A creature that likes hurting others.”

“A being that enjoys causing pain to others.”

The little boy scowled. “They'm only dead rabbets, what us eats.”

The little boy frowned. “They're just dead rabbits, the ones we eat.”

“Quite right, Nick. I beg your pardon.”

"Of course, Nick. I’m sorry."

“I can skin frogs, tu.”

“I can skin frogs, too.”

But Ashurst had become absent. “God bless us all, and Mr. Ashes!” And puzzled by that sudden inaccessibility, Nick ran back to the stream where the giggling and shouts again uprose at once.

But Ashurst had become distant. “God bless us all, and Mr. Ashes!” Confused by that sudden unavailability, Nick ran back to the stream where the laughter and shouts erupted again all at once.

When Megan brought his tea, he said:

When Megan brought him his tea, he said:

“What's the gipsy bogle, Megan?”

"What's the gypsy bogle, Megan?"

She looked up, startled.

She looked up, surprised.

“He brings bad things.”

“He brings trouble.”

“Surely you don't believe in ghosts?”

“Surely you don't think ghosts are real?”

“I hope I will never see him.”

“I hope I never have to see him.”

“Of course you won't. There aren't such things. What old Jim saw was a pony.”

“Of course you won't. Those things don't exist. What old Jim saw was a pony.”

“No! There are bogies in the rocks; they are the men who lived long ago.”

“No! There are spirits in the rocks; they are the people who lived a long time ago.”

“They aren't gipsies, anyway; those old men were dead long before gipsies came.”

“They aren’t gypsies, anyway; those old men died long before gypsies showed up.”

She said simply: “They are all bad.”

She just said, “They’re all bad.”

“Why? If there are any, they're only wild, like the rabbits. The flowers aren't bad for being wild; the thorn trees were never planted—and you don't mind them. I shall go down at night and look for your bogie, and have a talk with him.”

“Why? If there are any, they're just wild, like the rabbits. The flowers aren’t bad for being wild; the thorn trees were never planted—and you don’t mind them. I’ll go down at night and look for your ghost, and have a chat with him.”

“Oh, no! Oh, no!”

“Oh no! Oh no!”

“Oh, yes! I shall go and sit on his rock.”

“Oh, yes! I’ll go sit on his rock.”

She clasped her hands together: “Oh, please!”

She held her hands together: “Oh, please!”

“Why! What 'does it matter if anything happens to me?”

“Why! What does it matter if anything happens to me?”

She did not answer; and in a sort of pet he added:

She didn't reply; and in a bit of a pout, he added:

“Well, I daresay I shan't see him, because I suppose I must be off soon.”

“Well, I doubt I’ll see him, because I guess I have to head out soon.”

“Soon?”

“Soon?”

“Your aunt won't want to keep me here.”

“Your aunt won't want to have me here.”

“Oh, yes! We always let lodgings in summer.”

“Oh, yes! We always rent out rooms in the summer.”

Fixing his eyes on her face, he asked:

Fixing his gaze on her face, he asked:

“Would you like me to stay?”

“Do you want me to stick around?”

“Yes.”

"Yep."

“I'm going to say a prayer for you to-night!”

“I'm going to say a prayer for you tonight!”

She flushed crimson, frowned, and went out of the room. He sat, cursing himself, till his tea was stewed. It was as if he had hacked with his thick boots at a clump of bluebells. Why had he said such a silly thing? Was he just a towny college ass like Robert Garton, as far from understanding this girl?

She turned bright red, frowned, and left the room. He sat there, cursing himself, until his tea got cold. It felt like he had stomped on a patch of bluebells. Why did he say something so stupid? Was he just a clueless city college guy like Robert Garton, completely unable to understand this girl?

Ashurst spent the next week confirming the restoration of his leg, by exploration of the country within easy reach. Spring was a revelation to him this year. In a kind of intoxication he would watch the pink-white buds of some backward beech tree sprayed up in the sunlight against the deep blue sky, or the trunks and limbs of the few Scotch firs, tawny in violent light, or again, on the moor, the gale-bent larches which had such a look of life when the wind streamed in their young green, above the rusty black underboughs. Or he would lie on the banks, gazing at the clusters of dog-violets, or up in the dead bracken, fingering the pink, transparent buds of the dewberry, while the cuckoos called and yafes laughed, or a lark, from very high, dripped its beads of song. It was certainly different from any spring he had ever known, for spring was within him, not without. In the daytime he hardly saw the family; and when Megan brought in his meals she always seemed too busy in the house or among the young things in the yard to stay talking long. But in the evenings he installed himself in the window seat in the kitchen, smoking and chatting with the lame man Jim, or Mrs. Narracombe, while the girl sewed, or moved about, clearing the supper things away. And sometimes, with the sensation a cat must feel when it purrs, he would become conscious that Megan's eyes—those dew-grey eyes—were fixed on him with a sort of lingering soft look which was strangely flattering.

Ashurst spent the next week confirming his leg’s recovery by exploring the nearby countryside. Spring was eye-opening for him this year. In a sort of bliss, he would watch the pink-white buds of some late-blooming beech tree shining in the sunlight against the deep blue sky, or the trunks and branches of the few Scotch firs glowing in the bright light, or again, on the moor, the wind-swept larches that looked so alive when the breeze coursed through their young green leaves, above the rusty black underbrush. He would lie on the banks, gazing at clusters of dog violets, or up among the dead bracken, touching the pink, translucent buds of the dewberry, while the cuckoos called and woodpeckers made their distinctive sounds, or a lark, from way up high, poured out its beautiful song. This spring was definitely different from any he had ever experienced because spring was within him, not just outside. During the day, he hardly saw the family; and when Megan brought him meals, she always seemed too preoccupied with chores in the house or with the little ones in the yard to stay and chat for long. But in the evenings, he would settle into the kitchen window seat, smoking and chatting with Jim, the lame man, or Mrs. Narracombe, while the girl sewed or moved around clearing away the dishes. And sometimes, feeling like a contented cat purring, he would notice Megan’s eyes—those dew-grey eyes—fixed on him with a lingering soft look that was strangely flattering.

It was on Sunday week in the evening, when he was lying in the orchard listening to a blackbird and composing a love poem, that he heard the gate swing to, and saw the girl come running among the trees, with the red-cheeked, stolid Joe in swift pursuit. About twenty yards away the chase ended, and the two stood fronting each other, not noticing the stranger in the grass—the boy pressing on, the girl fending him off. Ashurst could see her face, angry, disturbed; and the youth's—who would have thought that red-faced yokel could look so distraught! And painfully affected by that sight, he jumped up. They saw him then. Megan dropped her hands, and shrank behind a tree trunk; the boy gave an angry grunt, rushed at the bank, scrambled over and vanished. Ashurst went slowly up to her. She was standing quite still, biting her lip-very pretty, with her fine, dark hair blown loose about her face, and her eyes cast down.

It was the Sunday evening of the previous week when he was lying in the orchard, listening to a blackbird and writing a love poem, that he heard the gate swing shut and saw the girl running among the trees, with the stocky, red-cheeked Joe in quick pursuit. About twenty yards away, the chase came to an end as the two faced each other, oblivious to the stranger in the grass—the boy advancing, the girl trying to fend him off. Ashurst could see her face, angry and troubled; and the youth's—who would have imagined that red-faced country boy could look so upset! Feeling a sharp pang at that sight, he jumped up. They noticed him then. Megan dropped her hands and shrank behind a tree trunk; the boy let out an angry grunt, charged at the bank, scrambled over, and disappeared. Ashurst slowly approached her. She stood completely still, biting her lip—very pretty, with her fine, dark hair blowing loosely around her face, and her eyes downcast.

“I beg your pardon,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

She gave him one upward look, from eyes much dilated; then, catching her breath, turned away. Ashurst followed.

She gave him a quick glance upward, her eyes wide; then, taking a deep breath, she turned away. Ashurst followed.

“Megan!”

"Megan!"

But she went on; and taking hold of her arm, he turned her gently round to him.

But she kept going; and grabbing her arm, he gently turned her to face him.

“Stop and speak to me.”

“Stop and talk to me.”

“Why do you beg my pardon? It is not to me you should do that.”

“Why are you apologizing to me? You shouldn’t be doing that.”

“Well, then, to Joe.”

"Cheers to Joe."

“How dare he come after me?”

“How dare he come for me?”

“In love with you, I suppose.”

"In love with you, I guess."

She stamped her foot.

She stomped her foot.

Ashurst uttered a short laugh. “Would you like me to punch his head?”

Ashurst let out a quick laugh. “Do you want me to punch him?”

She cried with sudden passion:

She cried out with passion:

“You laugh at me-you laugh at us!”

“You laugh at me—you laugh at us!”

He caught hold of her hands, but she shrank back, till her passionate little face and loose dark hair were caught among the pink clusters of the apple blossom. Ashurst raised one of her imprisoned hands and put his lips to it. He felt how chivalrous he was, and superior to that clod Joe—just brushing that small, rough hand with his mouth I Her shrinking ceased suddenly; she seemed to tremble towards him. A sweet warmth overtook Ashurst from top to toe. This slim maiden, so simple and fine and pretty, was pleased, then, at the touch of his lips! And, yielding to a swift impulse, he put his arms round her, pressed her to him, and kissed her forehead. Then he was frightened—she went so pale, closing her eyes, so that the long, dark lashes lay on her pale cheeks; her hands, too, lay inert at her sides. The touch of her breast sent a shiver through him. “Megan!” he sighed out, and let her go. In the utter silence a blackbird shouted. Then the girl seized his hand, put it to her cheek, her heart, her lips, kissed it passionately, and fled away among the mossy trunks of the apple trees, till they hid her from him.

He took her hands, but she pulled back, until her passionate little face and loose dark hair were tangled in the pink clusters of the apple blossoms. Ashurst lifted one of her trapped hands and kissed it. He felt noble and better than that jerk Joe—just lightly brushing that small, rough hand with his lips! Her shrinking stopped abruptly; she seemed to lean towards him. A sweet warmth spread over Ashurst from head to toe. This slender girl, so simple, delicate, and pretty, was happy at the touch of his lips! And, driven by a sudden urge, he wrapped his arms around her, pulled her close, and kissed her forehead. Then he panicked—she went so pale, closing her eyes, with her long, dark lashes resting on her pale cheeks; her hands hung limply at her sides. The feel of her body sent a shiver through him. "Megan!" he sighed out, and released her. In the complete silence, a blackbird called out. Then the girl grabbed his hand, placed it on her cheek, over her heart, her lips, kissed it passionately, and ran away among the mossy trunks of the apple trees, until they concealed her from view.

Ashurst sat down on a twisted old tree growing almost along the ground, and, all throbbing and bewildered, gazed vacantly at the blossom which had crowned her hair—those pink buds with one white open apple star. What had he done? How had he let himself be thus stampeded by beauty—pity—or—just the spring! He felt curiously happy, all the same; happy and triumphant, with shivers running through his limbs, and a vague alarm. This was the beginning of—what? The midges bit him, the dancing gnats tried to fly into his mouth, and all the spring around him seemed to grow more lovely and alive; the songs of the cuckoos and the blackbirds, the laughter of the yaflies, the level-slanting sunlight, the apple blossom which had crowned her head! He got up from the old trunk and strode out of the orchard, wanting space, an open sky, to get on terms with these new sensations. He made for the moor, and from an ash tree in the hedge a magpie flew out to herald him.

Ashurst sat down on a twisted old tree that was growing almost flat against the ground, and, feeling overwhelmed and confused, stared blankly at the blossom adorning her hair—those pink buds with one white open apple star. What had he done? How had he let himself be swept away by beauty—pity—or just the arrival of spring? Still, he felt oddly happy; happy and triumphant, with chills running through his body and a vague sense of unease. This was the beginning of—what? The midges bit him, the dancing gnats tried to fly into his mouth, and everything around him felt more vibrant and alive; the songs of the cuckoos and blackbirds, the laughter of the yaflies, the slanting sunlight, the apple blossom that crowned her head! He got up from the old trunk and walked out of the orchard, seeking space, an open sky, to come to terms with these new feelings. He headed toward the moor, and from an ash tree in the hedge, a magpie flew out to announce his arrival.

Of man—at any age from five years on—who can say he has never been in love? Ashurst had loved his partners at his dancing class; loved his nursery governess; girls in school-holidays; perhaps never been quite out of love, cherishing always some more or less remote admiration. But this was different, not remote at all. Quite a new sensation; terribly delightful, bringing a sense of completed manhood. To be holding in his fingers such a wild flower, to be able to put it to his lips, and feel it tremble with delight against them! What intoxication, and—embarrassment! What to do with it—how meet her next time? His first caress had been cool, pitiful; but the next could not be, now that, by her burning little kiss on his hand, by her pressure of it to her heart, he knew that she loved him. Some natures are coarsened by love bestowed on them; others, like Ashurst's, are swayed and drawn, warmed and softened, almost exalted, by what they feel to be a sort of miracle.

Of man—at any age from five years on—who can say he has never been in love? Ashurst had loved his partners in dance class; loved his nursery governess; girls during school breaks; he probably had never really been out of love, always holding on to some kind of distant admiration. But this was different, not distant at all. A completely new feeling; incredibly delightful, giving him a sense of fully realized manhood. To hold such a wildflower between his fingers, to press it to his lips, and feel it quiver with joy against them! What a rush, and—awkwardness! What to do about it—how to see her next time? His first kiss had been cool, pitying; but the next one couldn’t be, now that he knew she loved him, thanks to her fiery little kiss on his hand and the way she pressed it to her heart. Some people become rough from love given to them; others, like Ashurst, are moved and drawn in, warmed and softened, almost lifted up, by what they experience as a sort of miracle.

And up there among the tors he was racked between the passionate desire to revel in this new sensation of spring fulfilled within him, and a vague but very real uneasiness. At one moment he gave himself up completely to his pride at having captured this pretty, trustful, dewy-eyed thing! At the next he thought with factitious solemnity: 'Yes, my boy! But look out what you're doing! You know what comes of it!'

And up there among the rocky hills, he was torn between the intense urge to fully enjoy this new feeling of spring coming alive in him, and a sense of vague but very real unease. One moment, he completely embraced his pride in having captured this beautiful, trusting, bright-eyed person! The next moment, he thought with a feigned seriousness: 'Yes, my boy! But be careful about what you're doing! You know what happens as a result!'

Dusk dropped down without his noticing—dusk on the carved, Assyrian-looking masses of the rocks. And the voice of Nature said: “This is a new world for you!” As when a man gets up at four o'clock and goes out into a summer morning, and beasts, birds, trees stare at him and he feels as if all had been made new.

Dusk settled in without him realizing—dusk on the intricately carved, Assyrian-looking rock formations. And Nature seemed to say: “This is a new world for you!” Just like when a guy wakes up at four in the morning and steps out into a summer day, and the animals, birds, and trees all look at him as if everything has been made fresh.

He stayed up there for hours, till it grew cold, then groped his way down the stones and heather roots to the road, back into the lane, and came again past the wild meadow to the orchard. There he struck a match and looked at his watch. Nearly twelve! It was black and unstirring in there now, very different from the lingering, bird-befriended brightness of six hours ago! And suddenly he saw this idyll of his with the eyes of the outer world—had mental vision of Mrs. Narracombe's snake-like neck turned, her quick dark glance taking it all in, her shrewd face hardening; saw the gipsy-like cousins coarsely mocking and distrustful; Joe stolid and furious; only the lame man, Jim, with the suffering eyes, seemed tolerable to his mind. And the village pub!—the gossiping matrons he passed on his walks; and then—his own friends—Robert Carton's smile when he went off that morning ten days ago; so ironical and knowing! Disgusting! For a minute he literally hated this earthy, cynical world to which one belonged, willy-nilly. The gate where he was leaning grew grey, a sort of shimmer passed be fore him and spread into the bluish darkness. The moon! He could just see it over the bank be hind; red, nearly round-a strange moon! And turning away, he went up the lane which smelled of the night and cowdung and young leaves. In the straw-yard he could see the dark shapes of cattle, broken by the pale sickles of their horns, like so many thin moons, fallen ends-up. He unlatched the farm gate stealthily. All was dark in the house. Muffling his footsteps, he gained the porch, and, blotted against one of the yew trees, looked up at Megan's window. It was open. Was she sleeping, or lying awake perhaps, disturbed—unhappy at his absence? An owl hooted while he stood there peering up, and the sound seemed to fill the whole night, so quiet was all else, save for the never-ending murmur of the stream running below the orchard. The cuckoos by day, and now the owls—how wonderfully they voiced this troubled ecstasy within him! And suddenly he saw her at her window, looking out. He moved a little from the yew tree, and whispered: “Megan!” She drew back, vanished, reappeared, leaning far down. He stole forward on the grass patch, hit his shin against the green-painted chair, and held his breath at the sound. The pale blur of her stretched-down arm and face did not stir; he moved the chair, and noiselessly mounted it. By stretching up his arm he could just reach. Her hand held the huge key of the front door, and he clasped that burning hand with the cold key in it. He could just see her face, the glint of teeth between her lips, her tumbled hair. She was still dressed—poor child, sitting up for him, no doubt! “Pretty Megan!” Her hot, roughened fingers clung to his; her face had a strange, lost look. To have been able to reach it—even with his hand! The owl hooted, a scent of sweetbriar crept into his nostrils. Then one of the farm dogs barked; her grasp relaxed, she shrank back.

He stayed up there for hours until it got cold, then felt his way down the stones and heather roots to the road, back into the lane, and walked again past the wild meadow to the orchard. There he struck a match and checked his watch. Almost twelve! It was dark and still in there now, very different from the lingering, bird-friendly brightness of six hours ago! Suddenly, he viewed this peaceful scene with the perspective of the outside world—he imagined Mrs. Narracombe's snake-like neck turned, her quick dark glance taking it all in, her shrewd face hardening; he saw the gypsy-like cousins mocking and distrustful; Joe stubborn and furious; only the lame man, Jim, with his suffering eyes, seemed acceptable to him. And the village pub!—the gossiping women he passed during his walks; and then—his own friends—Robert Carton's smile when he left that morning ten days ago; so ironic and knowing! Disgusting! For a moment, he truly hated this gritty, cynical world that one belonged to, whether they liked it or not. The gate he was leaning on turned grey, and a sort of shimmer passed before him and spread into the bluish darkness. The moon! He could barely see it over the bank behind; red, nearly round—a strange moon! Turning away, he walked up the lane that smelled of the night, cow dung, and young leaves. In the straw yard, he could see the dark shapes of cattle, interrupted by the pale sickles of their horns, like skinny moons, lying on their backs. He quietly unlatched the farm gate. Everything was dark in the house. Silencing his footsteps, he reached the porch and, hidden against one of the yew trees, looked up at Megan's window. It was open. Was she sleeping, or maybe awake, disturbed—unhappy at his absence? An owl hooted while he stood there looking up, and the sound seemed to fill the entire night, so quiet was everything else, except for the constant murmur of the stream running below the orchard. The cuckoos by day, and now the owls—how wonderfully they voiced this troubled ecstasy within him! Suddenly he saw her at her window, looking out. He moved a little from the yew tree and whispered, “Megan!” She drew back, disappeared, then reappeared, leaning far down. He moved forward on the grass patch, bumped his shin against the green-painted chair, and held his breath at the noise. The pale blur of her stretched-down arm and face didn’t move; he adjusted the chair and quietly climbed onto it. By stretching up his arm, he could barely reach. Her hand held the heavy key to the front door, and he clasped that warm hand with the cold key in it. He could just see her face, the glint of teeth between her lips, her messy hair. She was still dressed—poor girl, probably waiting up for him! “Pretty Megan!” Her hot, roughened fingers clung to his; her face had a strange, lost look. To have been able to reach it—even with his hand! The owl hooted, and the scent of sweetbriar filled his nostrils. Then one of the farm dogs barked; her grip loosened, and she pulled back.

“Good-night, Megan!”

“Good night, Megan!”

“Good-night, sir!” She was gone! With a sigh he dropped back to earth, and sitting on that chair, took off his boots. Nothing for it but to creep in and go to bed; yet for a long while he sat unmoving, his feet chilly in the dew, drunk on the memory of her lost, half-smiling face, and the clinging grip of her burning fingers, pressing the cold key into his hand.

“Goodnight, sir!” She vanished! With a sigh, he returned to reality, and sitting in that chair, he took off his boots. There was nothing else to do but to sneak in and go to bed; yet for a long time, he sat still, his feet cold in the dew, lost in the memory of her fading, half-smiling face, and the lingering touch of her warm fingers pressing the cold key into his hand.





5

He awoke feeling as if he had eaten heavily overnight, instead of having eaten nothing. And far off, unreal, seemed yesterday's romance! Yet it was a golden morning. Full spring had burst at last—in one night the “goldie-cups,” as the little boys called them, seemed to have made the field their own, and from his window he could see apple blossoms covering the orchard as with a rose and white quilt. He went down almost dreading to see Megan; and yet, when not she but Mrs. Narracombe brought in his breakfast, he felt vexed and disappointed. The woman's quick eye and snaky neck seemed to have a new alacrity this morning. Had she noticed?

He woke up feeling like he had eaten a huge meal overnight, even though he hadn't eaten anything at all. And yesterday's romance felt distant and unreal! But it was a beautiful golden morning. Spring had finally arrived—overnight, the "goldie-cups," as the little boys called them, seemed to have taken over the field, and from his window he could see apple blossoms covering the orchard like a rose and white quilt. He went downstairs almost dreading to see Megan; yet when it wasn’t her but Mrs. Narracombe who brought in his breakfast, he felt annoyed and let down. The woman's sharp eyes and slender neck seemed to have a new energy this morning. Had she noticed?

“So you an' the moon went walkin' last night, Mr. Ashurst! Did ye have your supper anywheres?”

“So you and the moon went walking last night, Mr. Ashurst! Did you have your dinner anywhere?”

Ashurst shook his head.

Ashurst shook his head.

“We kept it for you, but I suppose you was too busy in your brain to think o' such a thing as that?”

“We kept it for you, but I guess you were too caught up in your thoughts to consider something like that?”

Was she mocking him, in that voice of hers, which still kept some Welsh crispness against the invading burr of the West Country? If she knew! And at that moment he thought: 'No, no; I'll clear out. I won't put myself in such a beastly false position.'

Was she making fun of him with that voice of hers, which still had a bit of Welsh sharpness despite the thick accent of the West Country? If only she knew! And at that moment, he thought: 'No, no; I’ll leave. I won’t put myself in such an awful position.'

But, after breakfast, the longing to see Megan began and increased with every minute, together with fear lest something should have been said to her which had spoiled everything. Sinister that she had not appeared, not given him even a glimpse of her! And the love poem, whose manufacture had been so important and absorbing yesterday afternoon under the apple trees, now seemed so paltry that he tore it up and rolled it into pipe spills. What had he known of love, till she seized his hand and kissed it! And now—what did he not know? But to write of it seemed mere insipidity! He went up to his bedroom to get a book, and his heart began to beat violently, for she was in there making the bed. He stood in the doorway watching; and suddenly, with turbulent joy, he saw her stoop and kiss his pillow, just at the hollow made by his head last night.

But after breakfast, the urge to see Megan grew stronger by the minute, along with the fear that something had been said to her that ruined everything. It felt eerie that she hadn’t shown up, not even giving him a glimpse! And the love poem, which had felt so important and all-consuming yesterday afternoon under the apple trees, now seemed so trivial that he tore it up and turned it into pipe tobacco. What did he really know about love until she took his hand and kissed it? And now—what didn’t he know? But writing about it felt pointless! He went up to his bedroom to grab a book, and his heart started racing because she was in there making the bed. He stood in the doorway watching, and suddenly, with overwhelming joy, he saw her bend down and kiss his pillow, right where his head had rested last night.

How let her know he had seen that pretty act of devotion? And yet, if she heard him stealing away, it would be even worse. She took the pillow up, holding it as if reluctant to shake out the impress of his cheek, dropped it, and turned round.

How could he let her know he had seen that sweet act of devotion? And yet, if she heard him sneaking away, it would be even worse. She picked up the pillow, holding it as if she was hesitant to shake out the impression of his cheek, dropped it, and turned around.

“Megan!”

“Megan!”

She put her hands up to her cheeks, but her eyes seemed to look right into him. He had never before realised the depth and purity and touching faithfulness in those dew-bright eyes, and he stammered:

She raised her hands to her cheeks, but her eyes appeared to look straight into him. He had never before recognized the depth, purity, and heartfelt loyalty in those dewy, bright eyes, and he stuttered:

“It was sweet of you to wait up for me last night.”

“It was nice of you to stay up for me last night.”

She still said nothing, and he stammered on:

She still said nothing, and he stammered on:

“I was wandering about on the moor; it was such a jolly night. I—I've just come up for a book.”

“I was wandering around on the moor; it was such a lovely night. I—I just came up for a book.”

Then, the kiss he had seen her give the pillow afflicted him with sudden headiness, and he went up to her. Touching her eyes with his lips, he thought with queer excitement: 'I've done it! Yesterday all was sudden—anyhow; but now—I've done it!' The girl let her forehead rest against his lips, which moved downwards till they reached hers. That first real lover's kiss-strange, wonderful, still almost innocent—in which heart did it make the most disturbance?

Then, the kiss he had seen her give the pillow hit him with a rush of emotion, and he approached her. Pressing his lips against her eyes, he thought with a strange thrill: 'I've done it! Yesterday felt sudden—somehow; but now—I've done it!' The girl leaned her forehead against his lips, which traveled down until they found hers. That first genuine lover's kiss—strange, amazing, still almost innocent—which heart felt the most turmoil?

“Come to the big apple tree to-night, after they've gone to bed. Megan-promise!”

“Come to the big apple tree tonight, after they've gone to bed. Megan-promise!”

She whispered back: “I promise.”

She replied softly: “I promise.”

Then, scared at her white face, scared at everything, he let her go, and went downstairs again. Yes! He had done it now! Accepted her love, declared his own! He went out to the green chair as devoid of a book as ever; and there he sat staring vacantly before him, triumphant and remorseful, while under his nose and behind his back the work of the farm went on. How long he had been sitting in that curious state of vacancy he had no notion when he saw Joe standing a little behind him to the right. The youth had evidently come from hard work in the fields, and stood shifting his feet, breathing loudly, his face coloured like a setting sun, and his arms, below the rolled-up sleeves of his blue shirt, showing the hue and furry sheen of ripe peaches. His red lips were open, his blue eyes with their flaxen lashes stared fixedly at Ashurst, who said ironically:

Then, scared by her pale face and everything else, he let her go and went back downstairs. Yes! He had done it now! He accepted her love and declared his own! He went out to the green chair, just as empty of a book as ever, and sat there staring into space, both triumphant and regretful, while the farm work continued around him. He had no idea how long he had been in this strange state of emptiness until he saw Joe standing a bit behind him to the right. The young man clearly came from hard work in the fields, shifting his feet and breathing heavily, his face the color of a setting sun, and his arms, under the rolled-up sleeves of his blue shirt, had the tint and soft sheen of ripe peaches. His red lips were parted, and his blue eyes, with their light-colored lashes, were fixed intently on Ashurst, who said with irony:

“Well, Joe, anything I can do for you?”

“Well, Joe, is there anything I can do for you?”

“Yeas.”

"Yes."

“What, then?”

“What now?”

“Yu can goo away from yere. Us don' want yu.”

“YOU can go away from here. We don't want you.”

Ashurst's face, never too humble, assumed its most lordly look.

Ashurst's face, which was never particularly modest, took on its most arrogant expression.

“Very good of you, but, do you know, I prefer the others should speak for themselves.”

“That's very kind of you, but you know what? I'd rather the others speak for themselves.”

The youth moved a pace or two nearer, and the scent of his honest heat afflicted Ashurst's nostrils.

The young man stepped a couple of steps closer, and the smell of his genuine sweat offended Ashurst's nose.

“What d'yu stay yere for?”

“What are you staying here for?”

“Because it pleases me.”

"Because it makes me happy."

“Twon't please yu when I've bashed yure head in!”

“Twon't please you when I've bashed your head in!”

“Indeed! When would you like to begin that?”

“Absolutely! When do you want to start that?”

Joe answered only with the loudness of his breathing, but his eyes looked like those of a young and angry bull. Then a sort of spasm seemed to convulse his face.

Joe responded only with the sound of his heavy breathing, but his eyes resembled those of a young and furious bull. Then a kind of spasm appeared to seize his face.

“Megan don' want yu.”

“Megan doesn't want you.”

A rush of jealousy, of contempt, and anger with this thick, loud-breathing rustic got the better of Ashurst's self-possession; he jumped up, and pushed back his chair.

A wave of jealousy, contempt, and anger toward this loud, heavy-breathing country guy took over Ashurst's calm; he jumped up and pushed his chair back.

“You can go to the devil!”

“Go to hell!”

And as he said those simple words, he saw Megan in the doorway with a tiny brown spaniel puppy in her arms. She came up to him quickly:

And as he said those simple words, he saw Megan in the doorway with a small brown spaniel puppy in her arms. She hurried over to him:

“Its eyes are blue!” she said.

“Its eyes are blue!” she said.

Joe turned away; the back of his neck was literally crimson.

Joe turned away; the back of his neck was bright red.

Ashurst put his finger to the mouth of the little brown bullfrog of a creature in her arms. How cosy it looked against her!

Ashurst put his finger to the mouth of the little brown bullfrog-like creature in her arms. It looked so cozy against her!

“It's fond of you already. Ah I Megan, everything is fond of you.”

“It's already fond of you. Oh Megan, everything is fond of you.”

“What was Joe saying to you, please?”

“What was Joe saying to you, please?”

“Telling me to go away, because you didn't want me here.”

“Telling me to leave because you didn’t want me here.”

She stamped her foot; then looked up at Ashurst. At that adoring look he felt his nerves quiver, just as if he had seen a moth scorching its wings.

She stamped her foot and then looked up at Ashurst. That adoring look made his nerves tremble, just like watching a moth burn its wings.

“To-night!” he said. “Don't forget!”

"Tonight!" he said. "Don't forget!"

“No.” And smothering her face against the puppy's little fat, brown body, she slipped back into the house.

“No.” She pressed her face against the puppy's tiny, chubby, brown body and slipped back into the house.

Ashurst wandered down the lane. At the gate of the wild meadow he came on the lame man and his cows.

Ashurst walked down the path. At the entrance of the wild meadow, he encountered the disabled man and his cows.

“Beautiful day, Jim!”

"Beautiful day, Jim!"

“Ah! 'Tes brave weather for the grass. The ashes be later than th' oaks this year. 'When th' oak before th' ash—-'.rdquo;

“Ah! It’s great weather for the grass. The ashes are later than the oaks this year. 'When the oak before the ash—'.”

Ashurst said idly: “Where were you standing when you saw the gipsy bogie, Jim?”

Ashurst said casually, “Where were you when you saw the gypsy bogey, Jim?”

“It might be under that big apple tree, as you might say.”

"It could be under that big apple tree, like you said."

“And you really do think it was there?”

“And you actually think it was there?”

The lame man answered cautiously:

The disabled man replied cautiously:

“I shouldn't like to say rightly that 't was there. 'Twas in my mind as 'twas there.”

“I wouldn't say for sure that it was there. It was in my mind as if it was there.”

“What do you make of it?”

“What do you think about it?”

The lame man lowered his voice.

The disabled man spoke more quietly.

“They du zay old master, Mist' Narracombe come o' gipsy stock. But that's tellin'. They'm a wonderful people, yu know, for claimin' their own. Maybe they knu 'e was goin', and sent this feller along for company. That's what I've a-thought about it.”

“They say the old master, Mr. Narracombe, comes from gypsy heritage. But that’s just talk. They’re a remarkable people, you know, when it comes to looking after their own. Maybe they knew he was leaving and sent this guy along for company. That’s what I’ve been thinking about it.”

“What was he like?”

“How was he?”

“'E 'ad 'air all over 'is face, an' goin' like this, he was, zame as if 'e 'ad a viddle. They zay there's no such thing as bogies, but I've a-zeen the 'air on this dog standin' up of a dark naight, when I couldn' zee nothin', meself.”

“'He had hair all over his face, and he was behaving like this, just as if he had a fit. They say there's no such thing as ghosts, but I've seen the hair on this dog standing up on a dark night when I couldn't see anything myself.”

“Was there a moon?”

“Was there a moon?”

“Yeas, very near full, but 'twas on'y just risen, gold-like be'ind them trees.”

“Yeah, it was almost full, but it had just risen, looking gold behind those trees.”

“And you think a ghost means trouble, do you?”

“And you think a ghost is a problem, do you?”

The lame man pushed his hat up; his aspiring eyes looked at Ashurst more earnestly than ever.

The disabled man tilted his hat up; his hopeful eyes gazed at Ashurst more intently than ever.

“'Tes not for me to zay that but 'tes they bein' so unrestin'like. There's things us don' understand, that's zartin, for zure. There's people that zee things, tu, an' others that don't never zee nothin'. Now, our Joe—yu might putt anything under'is eyes an e'd never zee it; and them other boys, tu, they'm rattlin' fellers. But yu take an' putt our Megan where there's suthin', she'll zee it, an' more tu, or I'm mistaken.”

“It's not for me to say that, but they are being really unsettling. There are things we don’t understand, that’s certain, for sure. Some people see things, too, and others never see anything at all. Now, our Joe—you could put anything in front of his eyes and he’d never see it; and those other boys, they’re just as clueless. But if you put our Megan somewhere there’s something going on, she’ll see it, and more too, or I’m wrong.”

“She's sensitive, that's why.”

"She's sensitive, that’s why."

“What's that?”

"What's that?"

“I mean, she feels everything.”

"She feels everything, you know."

“Ah! She'm very lovin'-'.arted.”

“Ah! She's very loving-hearted.”

Ashurst, who felt colour coming into his cheeks, held out his tobacco pouch.

Ashurst, feeling a flush of color rising to his cheeks, offered his tobacco pouch.

“Have a fill, Jim?”

“Have a bite, Jim?”

“Thank 'ee, sir. She'm one in an 'underd, I think.”

“Thank you, sir. She's one in a hundred, I think.”

“I expect so,” said Ashurst shortly, and folding up his pouch, walked on.

“I expect so,” Ashurst replied briefly, folding up his pouch and continuing on his way.

“Lovin'-hearted!” Yes! And what was he doing? What were his intentions—as they say towards this loving-hearted girl? The thought dogged him, wandering through fields bright with buttercups, where the little red calves were feeding, and the swallows flying high. Yes, the oaks were before the ashes, brown-gold already; every tree in different stage and hue. The cuckoos and a thousand birds were singing; the little streams were very bright. The ancients believed in a golden age, in the garden of the Hesperides!... A queen wasp settled on his sleeve. Each queen wasp killed meant two thousand fewer wasps to thieve the apples which would grow from that blossom in the orchard; but who, with love in his heart, could kill anything on a day like this? He entered a field where a young red bull was feeding. It seemed to Ashurst that he looked like Joe. But the young bull took no notice of this visitor, a little drunk himself, perhaps, on the singing and the glamour of the golden pasture, under his short legs. Ashurst crossed out unchallenged to the hillside above the stream. From that slope a for mounted to its crown of rocks. The ground there was covered with a mist of bluebells, and nearly a score of crab-apple trees were in full bloom. He threw himself down on the grass. The change from the buttercup glory and oak-goldened glamour of the fields to this ethereal beauty under the grey for filled him with a sort of wonder; nothing the same, save the sound of running water and the songs of the cuckoos. He lay there a long time, watching the sunlight wheel till the crab-trees threw shadows over the bluebells, his only companions a few wild bees. He was not quite sane, thinking of that morning's kiss, and of to-night under the apple tree. In such a spot as this, fauns and dryads surely lived; nymphs, white as the crab-apple blossom, retired within those trees; fauns, brown as the dead bracken, with pointed ears, lay in wait for them. The cuckoos were still calling when he woke, there was the sound of running water; but the sun had couched behind the tor, the hillside was cool, and some rabbits had come out. 'Tonight!' he thought. Just as from the earth everything was pushing up, unfolding under the soft insistent fingers of an unseen hand, so were his heart and senses being pushed, unfolded. He got up and broke off a spray from a crab-apple tree. The buds were like Megan—shell-like, rose-pink, wild, and fresh; and so, too, the opening flowers, white, and wild; and touching. He put the spray into his coat. And all the rush of the spring within him escaped in a triumphant sigh. But the rabbits scurried away.

“Love-filled!” Yes! And what was he up to? What were his intentions— as people say—toward this loving-hearted girl? The thought lingered in his mind as he wandered through fields glowing with buttercups, where the little red calves were feeding and swallows soared high. Yes, the oaks were ahead of the ashes, already a warm brown-gold; each tree in a different stage and shade. The cuckoos and a thousand birds were singing; the little streams sparkled brightly. The ancients believed in a golden age, in the garden of the Hesperides!... A queen wasp landed on his sleeve. Each queen wasp he killed meant two thousand fewer wasps stealing the apples that would sprout from that blossom in the orchard; but who, with love in his heart, could bring himself to kill anything on a day like this? He stepped into a field where a young red bull was grazing. It seemed to Ashurst that the bull resembled Joe. But the young bull paid no attention to this visitor, perhaps a little tipsy himself from the singing and the beauty of the golden pasture under its short legs. Ashurst confidently walked to the hillside above the stream. From that slope, a rise led to its rocky peak. The ground there was covered with a haze of bluebells, and nearly twenty crab-apple trees were in full bloom. He lay down on the grass. The shift from the glory of the buttercups and the golden oaks of the fields to this ethereal beauty beneath the gray fir filled him with a sense of wonder; nothing remained the same except the sound of running water and the calls of the cuckoos. He stayed there a long time, watching the sunlight change until the crab-trees cast shadows over the bluebells, his only companions a few wild bees. He wasn’t entirely sane, thinking of that morning's kiss and of tonight beneath the apple tree. In a place like this, surely fauns and dryads lived; nymphs, as white as the crab-apple blossoms, hid within those trees; fauns, brown like the dead bracken, with pointed ears, lay in wait for them. The cuckoos were still calling when he woke, there was the sound of running water; but the sun had dipped behind the hill, the hillside felt cool, and some rabbits had appeared. 'Tonight!' he thought. Just as from the earth everything was pushing up, unfolding under the gentle, persistent touch of an unseen hand, so too were his heart and senses being awakened, unfurling. He got up and broke off a sprig from a crab-apple tree. The buds were like Megan—shell-like, rose-pink, wild, and fresh; and the opening flowers, white, wild, and beautiful. He tucked the sprig into his coat. And all the rush of spring within him burst out in a triumphant sigh. But the rabbits darted away.





6

It was nearly eleven that night when Ashurst put down the pocket “Odyssey” which for half an hour he had held in his hands without reading, and slipped through the yard down to the orchard. The moon had just risen, very golden, over the hill, and like a bright, powerful, watching spirit peered through the bars of an ash tree's half-naked boughs. In among the apple trees it was still dark, and he stood making sure of his direction, feeling the rough grass with his feet. A black mass close behind him stirred with a heavy grunting sound, and three large pigs settled down again close to each other, under the wall. He listened. There was no wind, but the stream's burbling whispering chuckle had gained twice its daytime strength. One bird, he could not tell what, cried “Pippip,” “Pip-pip,” with perfect monotony; he could hear a night-Jar spinning very far off; an owl hooting. Ashurst moved a step or two, and again halted, aware of a dim living whiteness all round his head. On the dark unstirring trees innumerable flowers and buds all soft and blurred were being bewitched to life by the creeping moonlight. He had the oddest feeling of actual companionship, as if a million white moths or spirits had floated in and settled between dark sky and darker ground, and were opening and shutting their wings on a level with his eyes. In the bewildering, still, scentless beauty of that moment he almost lost memory of why he had come to the orchard. The flying glamour which had clothed the earth all day had not gone now that night had fallen, but only changed into this new form. He moved on through the thicket of stems and boughs covered with that live powdering whiteness, till he reached the big apple tree. No mistaking that, even in the dark, nearly twice the height and size of any other, and leaning out towards the open meadows and the stream. Under the thick branches he stood still again, to listen. The same sounds exactly, and a faint grunting from the sleepy pigs. He put his hands on the dry, almost warm tree trunk, whose rough mossy surface gave forth a peaty scent at his touch. Would she come—would she? And among these quivering, haunted, moon-witched trees he was seized with doubts of everything! All was unearthly here, fit for no earthly lovers; fit only for god and goddess, faun and nymph not for him and this little country girl. Would it not be almost a relief if she did not come? But all the time he was listening. And still that unknown bird went “Pip-pip,” “Pip-pip,” and there rose the busy chatter of the little trout stream, whereon the moon was flinging glances through the bars of her tree-prison. The blossom on a level with his eyes seemed to grow more living every moment, seemed with its mysterious white beauty more and more a part of his suspense. He plucked a fragment and held it close—three blossoms. Sacrilege to pluck fruit-tree blossom—soft, sacred, young blossom—and throw it away! Then suddenly he heard the gate close, the pigs stirring again and grunting; and leaning against the trunk, he pressed his hands to its mossy sides behind him, and held his breath. She might have been a spirit threading the trees, for all the noise she made! Then he saw her quite close—her dark form part of a little tree, her white face part of its blossom; so still, and peering towards him. He whispered: “Megan!” and held out his hands. She ran forward, straight to his breast. When he felt her heart beating against him, Ashurst knew to the full the sensations of chivalry and passion. Because she was not of his world, because she was so simple and young and headlong, adoring and defenceless, how could he be other than her protector, in the dark! Because she was all simple Nature and beauty, as much a part of this spring night as was the living blossom, how should he not take all that she would give him how not fulfil the spring in her heart and his! And torn between these two emotions he clasped her close, and kissed her hair. How long they stood there without speaking he knew not. The stream went on chattering, the owls hooting, the moon kept stealing up and growing whiter; the blossom all round them and above brightened in suspense of living beauty. Their lips had sought each other's, and they did not speak. The moment speech began all would be unreal! Spring has no speech, nothing but rustling and whispering. Spring has so much more than speech in its unfolding flowers and leaves, and the coursing of its streams, and in its sweet restless seeking! And sometimes spring will come alive, and, like a mysterious Presence stand, encircling lovers with its arms, laying on them the fingers of enchantment, so that, standing lips to lips, they forget everything but just a kiss. While her heart beat against him, and her lips quivered on his, Ashurst felt nothing but simple rapture—Destiny meant her for his arms, Love could not be flouted! But when their lips parted for breath, division began again at once. Only, passion now was so much the stronger, and he sighed:

It was almost eleven that night when Ashurst set down the pocket “Odyssey” that he had been holding for half an hour without reading, and slipped through the yard down to the orchard. The moon had just risen, a brilliant gold, over the hill, peering through the branches of an ash tree like a bright, powerful guardian. In the midst of the apple trees, it was still dark, and he paused to make sure of his direction, feeling the rough grass underfoot. A black shape close behind him stirred with a heavy grunt, and three large pigs settled down again close together under the wall. He listened. There was no wind, but the stream sounded louder than during the day, bubbling and whispering. One bird, he couldn’t identify, called “Pippip,” “Pip-pip,” monotonously; he could hear a nightjar faintly in the distance; and an owl hooting. Ashurst took a step or two, then stopped again, aware of a dim, living whiteness all around his head. On the dark, still trees, countless flowers and buds, all soft and blurred, came to life in the creeping moonlight. He felt an odd sense of actual companionship, as if a million white moths or spirits had floated in and settled between the dark sky and the even darker ground, opening and closing their wings at his eye level. In the bewildering, still, scentless beauty of that moment, he almost forgot why he had come to the orchard. The enchanting magic that had cloaked the earth all day hadn’t vanished with nightfall but had transformed into this new form. He moved through the thicket of stems and branches covered in that living, powdery whiteness until he reached the big apple tree. No mistaking it, even in the dark, nearly double the height and size of any other, leaning toward the open meadows and the stream. Under the thick branches, he stood still again to listen. The same sounds were present, along with the faint grunts from the sleepy pigs. He placed his hands on the dry, almost warm tree trunk, its rough, mossy surface releasing a peaty scent at his touch. Would she come—would she? And among these quivering, haunted, moonlit trees, doubts crept in about everything! It all felt unearthly here, suitable for no earthly lovers; only for gods and goddesses, fauns and nymphs—not for him and this little country girl. Wouldn’t it almost be a relief if she didn’t come? But all the while, he was listening. And still that unknown bird called “Pip-pip,” “Pip-pip,” and there was the busy chatter of the little trout stream, where the moon cast glances through the bars of her tree-prison. The blossoms at eye level seemed to grow more alive with each moment, their mysterious white beauty increasingly becoming a part of his suspense. He plucked a fragment and held it close—three blossoms. It felt like sacrilege to pluck fruit-tree blossoms—soft, sacred, young blossoms—and throw them away! Then suddenly, he heard the gate close, the pigs stirring and grunting again; and leaning against the trunk, he pressed his hands to its mossy sides behind him and held his breath. She might have been a spirit threading through the trees, given how quietly she moved! Then he saw her very close—her dark form blending with a little tree, her white face part of the blossoms; so still, peering toward him. He whispered: “Megan!” and held out his hands. She ran straight into his arms. When he felt her heart beating against him, Ashurst fully experienced the feelings of chivalry and passion. Because she wasn’t from his world, because she was so simple and young and impulsive, adoring and vulnerable, how could he be anything but her protector in the dark? Because she embodied simplicity and beauty, as much a part of this spring night as the living blossoms, how could he not accept everything she offered him and not fulfill the spring in her heart and his? Torn between these two emotions, he held her close and kissed her hair. He didn’t know how long they stood there without speaking. The stream kept chattering, the owls hooted, the moon kept rising and growing whiter; the blossoms above and around them brightened in the suspense of living beauty. Their lips sought each other, and they didn't speak. Once speech started, everything would feel unreal! Spring has no words, only rustling and whispering. Spring has so much more than speech in its blooming flowers and leaves, in the flow of its streams, and in its sweet, restless seeking! And sometimes spring will come alive, a mysterious Presence standing there, encircling lovers with its arms, laying on them fingers of enchantment, so that, standing lip to lip, they forget everything but just a kiss. As her heart beat against him and her lips quivered against his, Ashurst felt nothing but simple joy—Destiny intended for her to be in his arms, Love could not be denied! But when their lips parted for breath, the divide began again immediately. Yet, now, passion was so much stronger, and he sighed:

“Oh! Megan! Why did you come?” She looked up, hurt, amazed.

“Oh! Megan! What made you come?” She looked up, hurt and amazed.

“Sir, you asked me to.”

"Sir, you requested me to."

“Don't call me 'sir,' my pretty sweet.”

“Don’t call me ‘sir,’ my lovely.”

“What should I be callin' you?”

"What should I call you?"

“Frank.”

“Frank.”

“I could not. Oh, no!”

"I can’t. Oh, no!"

“But you love me—don't you?”

“But you love me, right?”

“I could not help lovin' you. I want to be with you—that's all.”

“I can't help but love you. I just want to be with you—that's it.”

“All!”

“Everyone!”

So faint that he hardly heard, she whispered: “I shall die if I can't be with you.”

So quietly that he could barely hear, she whispered: “I’ll die if I can’t be with you.”

Ashurst took a mighty breath.

Ashurst took a deep breath.

“Come and be with me, then!”

“Come and hang out with me, then!”

“Oh!”

“Oh!”

Intoxicated by the awe and rapture in that “Oh!” he went on, whispering:

Intoxicated by the amazement and excitement in that “Oh!” he continued, whispering:

“We'll go to London. I'll show you the world.

“We'll go to London. I'll show you everything.”

“And I will take care of you, I promise, Megan. I'll never be a brute to you!”

“And I will take care of you, I promise, Megan. I'll never be cruel to you!”

“If I can be with you—that is all.”

“If being with you is all I need—that's enough for me.”

He stroked her hair, and whispered on:

He ran his fingers through her hair and whispered on:

“To-morrow I'll go to Torquay and get some money, and get you some clothes that won't be noticed, and then we'll steal away. And when we get to London, soon perhaps, if you love me well enough, we'll be married.”

"Tomorrow I'll head to Torquay to get some money and pick you up some clothes that won't draw attention, and then we'll sneak away. And once we reach London, maybe soon, if you love me enough, we'll get married."

He could feel her hair shiver with the shake of her head.

He could feel her hair flutter as she shook her head.

“Oh, no! I could not. I only want to be with you!”

“Oh, no! I can’t. I just want to be with you!”

Drunk on his own chivalry, Ashurst went on murmuring, “It's I who am not good enough for you. Oh! Megan, when did you begin to love me?”

Drunk on his own sense of honor, Ashurst kept murmuring, “I’m the one who isn’t good enough for you. Oh! Megan, when did you start to love me?”

“When I saw you in the road, and you looked at me. The first night I loved you; but I never thought you would want me.”

“When I saw you on the road and you looked at me. The first night I loved you; but I never thought you would actually want me.”

She slipped down suddenly to her knees, trying to kiss his feet.

She suddenly dropped to her knees, trying to kiss his feet.

A shiver of horror went through Ashurst; he lifted her up bodily and held her fast—too upset to speak.

A wave of fear swept over Ashurst; he picked her up and held her tightly—too shaken to say anything.

She whispered: “Why won't you let me?”

She whispered, "Why won't you let me?"

“It's I who will kiss your feet!”

“It's me who will kiss your feet!”

Her smile brought tears into his eyes. The whiteness of her moonlit face so close to his, the faint pink of her opened lips, had the living unearthly beauty of the apple blossom.

Her smile brought tears to his eyes. The brightness of her moonlit face so close to his, the soft pink of her parted lips, had the vibrant, otherworldly beauty of an apple blossom.

And then, suddenly, her eyes widened and stared past him painfully; she writhed out of his arms, and whispered: “Look!”

And then, suddenly, her eyes widened and stared past him, filled with pain; she squirmed out of his arms and whispered, “Look!”

Ashurst saw nothing but the brightened stream, the furze faintly gilded, the beech trees glistening, and behind them all the wide loom of the moonlit hill. Behind him came her frozen whisper: “The gipsy bogie!”

Ashurst saw only the shining stream, the furze lightly covered in gold, the beech trees sparkling, and in the background, the vast silhouette of the moonlit hill. Behind him, he heard her chilling whisper: “The gipsy bogey!”

“Where?”

“Where at?”

“There—by the stone—under the trees!”

“There—by the rock—under the trees!”

Exasperated, he leaped the stream, and strode towards the beech clump. Prank of the moonlight! Nothing! In and out of the boulders and thorn trees, muttering and cursing, yet with a kind of terror, he rushed and stumbled. Absurd! Silly! Then he went back to the apple tree. But she was gone; he could hear a rustle, the grunting of the pigs, the sound of a gate closing. Instead of her, only this old apple tree! He flung his arms round the trunk. What a substitute for her soft body; the rough moss against his face—what a substitute for her soft cheek; only the scent, as of the woods, a little the same! And above him, and around, the blossoms, more living, more moonlit than ever, seemed to glow and breathe.

Frustrated, he jumped over the stream and walked toward the cluster of beech trees. What a trick of the moonlight! Nothing! Amidst the boulders and thorn bushes, he muttered and cursed, but there was also a kind of fear as he rushed and stumbled. Ridiculous! Stupid! Then he returned to the apple tree. But she was gone; he could hear rustling, the grunting of pigs, and the sound of a gate closing. Instead of her, there was only this old apple tree! He wrapped his arms around the trunk. What a poor substitute for her soft body; the rough moss against his face—what a poor substitute for her soft cheek; only the scent, like that of the woods, was somewhat similar! And above him and around him, the blossoms, more vibrant and more illuminated by the moonlight than ever, seemed to glow and breathe.





7

Descending from the train at Torquay station, Ashurst wandered uncertainly along the front, for he did not know this particular queen of English watering places. Having little sense of what he had on, he was quite unconscious of being remarkable among its inhabitants, and strode along in his rough Norfolk jacket, dusty boots, and battered hat, without observing that people gazed at him rather blankly. He was seeking a branch of his London bank, and having found one, found also the first obstacle to his mood. Did he know anyone in Torquay? No. In that case, if he would wire to his bank in London, they would be happy to oblige him on receipt of the reply. That suspicious breath from the matter-of-fact world somewhat tarnished the brightness of his visions. But he sent the telegram.

Stepping off the train at Torquay station, Ashurst walked uncertainly along the promenade, as he wasn't familiar with this popular English seaside resort. Unaware of his appearance, he didn't realize he stood out among the locals, striding along in his worn Norfolk jacket, dusty boots, and beaten-up hat, not noticing the blank stares directed at him. He was looking for a branch of his London bank, and upon finding one, encountered his first hurdle. Did he know anyone in Torquay? No. In that case, if he wanted to wire his bank in London, they'd be happy to help once they received the reply. That hint of practicality from the real world slightly dulled the sparkle of his dreams. But he sent the telegram.

Nearly opposite to the post office he saw a shop full of ladies' garments, and examined the window with strange sensations. To have to undertake the clothing of his rustic love was more than a little disturbing. He went in. A young woman came forward; she had blue eyes and a faintly puzzled forehead. Ashurst stared at her in silence.

Almost directly across from the post office, he noticed a store packed with women's clothing and looked into the window with unusual feelings. The thought of having to choose clothes for his country love was more than a bit unsettling. He stepped inside. A young woman approached; she had blue eyes and a slightly confused expression. Ashurst stared at her in silence.

“Yes, sir?”

"Yes, sir?"

“I want a dress for a young lady.”

“I want a dress for a young woman.”

The young woman smiled. Ashurst frowned the peculiarity of his request struck him with sudden force.

The young woman smiled. Ashurst frowned; the oddness of his request hit him with sudden intensity.

The young woman added hastily:

The young woman added quickly:

“What style would you like—something modish?”

“What style do you want—something trendy?”

“No. Simple.”

“Nope. It's simple.”

“What figure would the young lady be?”

“What kind of person would the young lady be?”

“I don't know; about two inches shorter than you, I should say.”

“I don't know; maybe around two inches shorter than you, I guess.”

“Could you give me her waist measurement?”

“Can you tell me her waist size?”

Megan's waist!

Megan's waist!

“Oh! anything usual!”

"Oh! Anything normal!"

“Quite!”

"Definitely!"

While she was gone he stood disconsolately eyeing the models in the window, and suddenly it seemed to him incredible that Megan—his Megan could ever be dressed save in the rough tweed skirt, coarse blouse, and tam-o'-shanter cap he was wont to see her in. The young woman had come back with several dresses in her arms, and Ashurst eyed her laying them against her own modish figure. There was one whose colour he liked, a dove-grey, but to imagine Megan clothed in it was beyond him. The young woman went away, and brought some more. But on Ashurst there had now come a feeling of paralysis. How choose? She would want a hat too, and shoes, and gloves; and, suppose, when he had got them all, they commonised her, as Sunday clothes always commonised village folk! Why should she not travel as she was? Ah! But conspicuousness would matter; this was a serious elopement. And, staring at the young woman, he thought: 'I wonder if she guesses, and thinks me a blackguard?'

While she was away, he stood there, feeling miserable, staring at the models in the window. It suddenly struck him as unbelievable that Megan—his Megan—could ever wear anything other than the rough tweed skirt, basic blouse, and tam-o'-shanter cap he was used to seeing her in. The young woman returned with several dresses in her arms, and Ashurst watched her hold them up against her stylish figure. There was one he liked, a dove-grey color, but the thought of Megan wearing it felt impossible. The young woman left again to get more dresses. But Ashurst now felt completely paralyzed. How could he choose? She would need a hat, shoes, and gloves too; and what if, after he picked everything out, it made her look ordinary, like how Sunday clothes usually made village folks look? Why couldn't she just travel in her regular clothes? But then again, standing out would be important; this was a serious elopement. As he stared at the young woman, he thought, 'I wonder if she suspects anything and thinks I'm a scoundrel?'

“Do you mind putting aside that grey one for me?” he said desperately at last. “I can't decide now; I'll come in again this afternoon.”

“Could you set aside that gray one for me?” he said urgently at last. “I can’t decide right now; I’ll come back this afternoon.”

The young woman sighed.

The girl sighed.

“Oh! certainly. It's a very tasteful costume. I don't think you'll get anything that will suit your purpose better.”

“Oh! definitely. It's a really stylish outfit. I don't think you'll find anything that fits your needs better.”

“I expect not,” Ashurst murmured, and went out.

“I don't expect so,” Ashurst said quietly, and left.

Freed again from the suspicious matter-of-factness of the world, he took a long breath, and went back to visions. In fancy he saw the trustful, pretty creature who was going to join her life to his; saw himself and her stealing forth at night, walking over the moor under the moon, he with his arm round her, and carrying her new garments, till, in some far-off wood, when dawn was coming, she would slip off her old things and put on these, and an early train at a distant station would bear them away on their honeymoon journey, till London swallowed them up, and the dreams of love came true.

Freed once more from the dull realities of the world, he took a deep breath and returned to his daydreams. In his imagination, he saw the trusting, lovely person who was going to share her life with him; he envisioned himself and her sneaking out at night, walking across the moor under the moonlight, his arm around her, carrying her new clothes. Eventually, in some distant forest, as dawn approached, she would take off her old clothes and put on these new ones, and an early train at a faraway station would whisk them away on their honeymoon, until London enveloped them, and their dreams of love came true.

“Frank Ashurst! Haven't seen you since Rugby, old chap!”

“Frank Ashurst! I haven't seen you since Rugby, my friend!”

Ashurst's frown dissolved; the face, close to his own, was blue-eyed, suffused with sun—one of those faces where sun from within and without join in a sort of lustre. And he answered:

Ashurst's frown disappeared; the face, close to his own, had blue eyes, glowing with sunlight—one of those faces where the warmth from within and outside come together in a kind of radiance. And he replied:

“Phil Halliday, by Jove!”

"Phil Halliday, oh my!"

“What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here?”

“Oh! nothing. Just looking round, and getting some money. I'm staying on the moor.”

“Oh! Nothing. Just checking things out and making some money. I'm staying on the moor.”

“Are you lunching anywhere? Come and lunch with us; I'm here with my young sisters. They've had measles.”

“Are you having lunch anywhere? Come have lunch with us; I’m here with my younger sisters. They just had measles.”

Hooked in by that friendly arm Ashurst went along, up a hill, down a hill, away out of the town, while the voice of Halliday, redolent of optimism as his face was of sun, explained how “in this mouldy place the only decent things were the bathing and boating,” and so on, till presently they came to a crescent of houses a little above and back from the sea, and into the centre one an hotel—made their way.

Hooked in by that friendly arm, Ashurst followed along, up a hill, down a hill, out of the town, while Halliday’s voice, full of optimism just like his sun-kissed face, explained how “in this dreary place, the only good things were the swimming and boating,” and so on, until they eventually arrived at a crescent of houses slightly elevated and set back from the sea, where they made their way into the central hotel.

“Come up to my room and have a wash. Lunch'll be ready in a jiffy.”

“Come to my room and wash up. Lunch will be ready in a minute.”

Ashurst contemplated his visage in a looking-glass. After his farmhouse bedroom, the comb and one spare shirt regime of the last fortnight, this room littered with clothes and brushes was a sort of Capua; and he thought: 'Queer—one doesn't realise But what—he did not quite know.

Ashurst looked at his reflection in a mirror. After the past two weeks in his farmhouse bedroom with just a comb and one extra shirt, this room, messy with clothes and brushes, felt like a sort of party city; and he thought: 'Weird—one doesn't realize But what—he wasn't quite sure.

When he followed Halliday into the sitting room for lunch, three faces, very fair and blue-eyed, were turned suddenly at the words: “This is Frank Ashurst my young sisters.”

When he followed Halliday into the living room for lunch, three very fair and blue-eyed faces turned suddenly at the words: “This is Frank Ashurst, my younger sisters.”

Two were indeed young, about eleven and ten. The third was perhaps seventeen, tall and fair-haired too, with pink-and-white cheeks just touched by the sun, and eyebrows, rather darker than the hair, running a little upwards from her nose to their outer points. The voices of all three were like Halliday's, high and cheerful; they stood up straight, shook hands with a quick movement, looked at Ashurst critically, away again at once, and began to talk of what they were going to do in the afternoon. A regular Diana and attendant nymphs! After the farm this crisp, slangy, eager talk, this cool, clean, off-hand refinement, was queer at first, and then so natural that what he had come from became suddenly remote. The names of the two little ones seemed to be Sabina and Freda; of the eldest, Stella.

Two were definitely young, around eleven and ten. The third was maybe seventeen, tall and light-haired, with cheeks that were pink and white, just kissed by the sun, and eyebrows that were a bit darker than her hair, slanting slightly upwards from her nose to the outer edges. All three had voices like Halliday’s—high and cheerful; they stood up straight, shook hands quickly, glanced at Ashurst critically, looked away just as fast, and started discussing their plans for the afternoon. A perfect Diana and her nymphs! After the farm, this crisp, slangy, eager conversation, this cool, clean, effortless refinement felt odd at first, but then it seemed so natural that what he had left behind suddenly felt distant. The names of the two little ones appeared to be Sabina and Freda, and the oldest was Stella.

Presently the one called Sabina turned to him and said:

Presently, the person named Sabina turned to him and said:

“I say, will you come shrimping with us?—it's awful fun!”

“I mean, will you come shrimping with us? It’s so much fun!”

Surprised by this unexpected friendliness, Ashurst murmured:

Surprised by this unexpected friendliness, Ashurst murmured:

“I'm afraid I've got to get back this afternoon.”

“I'm afraid I have to head back this afternoon.”

“Oh!”

“Oh!”

“Can't you put it off?”

"Can't you delay it?"

Ashurst turned to the new speaker, Stella, shook his head, and smiled. She was very pretty! Sabina said regretfully: “You might!” Then the talk switched off to caves and swimming.

Ashurst turned to the new speaker, Stella, shook his head, and smiled. She was really pretty! Sabina said with a hint of regret: “You could!” Then the conversation shifted to caves and swimming.

“Can you swim far?”

"Can you swim distance?"

“About two miles.”

"Approximately two miles."

“Oh!”

“Oh!”

“I say!”

"Wow!"

“How jolly!”

“How fun!”

The three pairs of blue eyes, fixed on him, made him conscious of his new importance—The sensation was agreeable. Halliday said:

The three pairs of blue eyes staring at him made him aware of his newfound significance—The feeling was pleasant. Halliday said:

“I say, you simply must stop and have a bathe. You'd better stay the night.”

“I think you really need to stop and take a shower. You should probably stay the night.”

“Yes, do!”'

“Absolutely, do it!”

But again Ashurst smiled and shook his head. Then suddenly he found himself being catechised about his physical achievements. He had rowed—it seemed—in his college boat, played in his college football team, won his college mile; and he rose from table a sort of hero. The two little girls insisted that he must see “their” cave, and they set forth chattering like magpies, Ashurst between them, Stella and her brother a little behind. In the cave, damp and darkish like any other cave, the great feature was a pool with possibility of creatures which might be caught and put into bottles. Sabina and Freda, who wore no stockings on their shapely brown legs, exhorted Ashurst to join them in the middle of it, and help sieve the water. He too was soon bootless and sockless. Time goes fast for one who has a sense of beauty, when there are pretty children in a pool and a young Diana on the edge, to receive with wonder anything you can catch! Ashurst never had much sense of time. It was a shock when, pulling out his watch, he saw it was well past three. No cashing his cheque to-day-the bank would be closed before he could get there. Watching his expression, the little girls cried out at once:

But again Ashurst smiled and shook his head. Then suddenly he found himself being grilled about his physical accomplishments. He had rowed—in his college boat, played on his college football team, and won his college mile; and he left the table feeling like a sort of hero. The two little girls insisted he had to see “their” cave, and they set off chattering like magpies, Ashurst between them, while Stella and her brother lagged a little behind. Inside the cave, damp and dark like any other cave, the main attraction was a pool full of potential creatures that could be caught and put into bottles. Sabina and Freda, who were barefoot with their pretty brown legs, urged Ashurst to join them in the middle of the pool and help sift through the water. He soon joined them, kicking off his shoes and socks. Time flies for someone who appreciates beauty, especially with lovely children in a pool and a young Diana at the edge, eagerly receiving anything you can catch! Ashurst never had much sense of time. It was a shock when he pulled out his watch and saw it was well past three. No chance to cash his check today—the bank would be closed by the time he got there. Seeing his expression, the little girls exclaimed all at once:

“Hurrah! Now you'll have to stay!”

“Yay! Now you have to stay!”

Ashurst did not answer. He was seeing again Megan's face, when at breakfast time he had whispered: “I'm going to Torquay, darling, to get everything; I shall be back this evening. If it's fine we can go to-night. Be ready.” He was seeing again how she quivered and hung on his words. What would she think? Then he pulled himself together, conscious suddenly of the calm scrutiny of this other young girl, so tall and fair and Diana-like, at the edge of the pool, of her wondering blue eyes under those brows which slanted up a little. If they knew what was in his mind—if they knew that this very night he had meant! Well, there would be a little sound of disgust, and he would be alone in the cave. And with a curious mixture of anger, chagrin, and shame, he put his watch back into his pocket and said abruptly:

Ashurst didn’t say anything. He kept seeing Megan’s face from that morning at breakfast when he had whispered, “I’m going to Torquay, babe, to take care of everything; I’ll be back this evening. If it’s nice out, we can go tonight. Be ready.” He could picture how she had shivered and hung on his words. What would she think? Then he snapped back to reality, suddenly aware of the steady gaze from the other young woman, tall and fair, like a modern-day Diana, standing at the edge of the pool, her curious blue eyes under slightly arched brows. If they knew what he was thinking—if they knew that tonight he had planned! Well, there would be a slight sound of disgust, and he would end up alone in the cave. With a strange blend of anger, disappointment, and shame, he shoved his watch back into his pocket and said abruptly:

“Yes; I'm dished for to-day.”

“Yes; I'm done for today.”

“Hurrah! Now you can bathe with us.”

“Yay! Now you can join us for a bath.”

It was impossible not to succumb a little to the contentment of these pretty children, to the smile on Stella's lips, to Halliday's “Ripping, old chap! I can lend you things for the night!” But again a spasm of longing and remorse throbbed through Ashurst, and he said moodily:

It was hard not to give in to the happiness of these lovely kids, to the smile on Stella's lips, to Halliday's “Awesome, my friend! I can lend you stuff for the night!” But once more, a wave of longing and regret surged through Ashurst, and he said somberly:

“I must send a wire!”

“I need to send a text!”

The attractions of the pool palling, they went back to the hotel. Ashurst sent his wire, addressing it to Mrs. Narracombe: “Sorry, detained for the night, back to-morrow.” Surely Megan would understand that he had too much to do; and his heart grew lighter. It was a lovely afternoon, warm, the sea calm and blue, and swimming his great passion; the favour of these pretty children flattered him, the pleasure of looking at them, at Stella, at Halliday's sunny face; the slight unreality, yet extreme naturalness of it all—as of a last peep at normality before he took this plunge with Megan! He got his borrowed bathing dress, and they all set forth. Halliday and he undressed behind one rock, the three girls behind another. He was first into the sea, and at once swam out with the bravado of justifying his self-given reputation. When he turned he could see Halliday swimming along shore, and the girls flopping and dipping, and riding the little waves, in the way he was accustomed to despise, but now thought pretty and sensible, since it gave him the distinction of the only deep-water fish. But drawing near, he wondered if they would like him, a stranger, to come into their splashing group; he felt shy, approaching that slim nymph. Then Sabina summoned him to teach her to float, and between them the little girls kept him so busy that he had no time even to notice whether Stella was accustomed to his presence, till suddenly he heard a startled sound from her: She was standing submerged to the waist, leaning a little forward, her slim white arms stretched out and pointing, her wet face puckered by the sun and an expression of fear.

The attractions of the pool wearing off, they headed back to the hotel. Ashurst sent a message, addressing it to Mrs. Narracombe: “Sorry, stuck here for the night, back tomorrow.” Surely Megan would understand that he had too much on his plate; his spirits lifted. It was a beautiful afternoon, warm, the sea calm and blue, and swimming was his greatest passion; the attention from these pretty kids flattered him, the joy of watching them, Stella, and Halliday's sunny face; the slight feeling of unreality yet extreme naturalness of it all—like a last glimpse of normality before he took this leap with Megan! He grabbed his borrowed swimsuit, and they all set off. Halliday and he changed behind one rock, while the three girls changed behind another. He was the first one in the sea, swimming out with the boldness of living up to his self-made reputation. When he turned, he could see Halliday swimming along the shore, and the girls splashing and dipping, riding the little waves, in a way he usually disdained, but now found charming and sensible, since it made him feel like the only deep-water fish among them. But as he got closer, he wondered if they would welcome him, a stranger, into their splashing group; he felt shy approaching that slim girl. Just then, Sabina called for him to teach her to float, and between them, the little girls kept him so occupied that he didn’t even notice whether Stella was used to his presence, until suddenly he heard a startled sound from her: She was standing in the water up to her waist, leaning slightly forward, her slim white arms outstretched and pointing, her wet face freckled by the sun, displaying an expression of fear.

“Look at Phil! Is he all right? Oh, look!”

“Check out Phil! Is he okay? Oh, look!”

Ashurst saw at once that Phil was not all right. He was splashing and struggling out of his depth, perhaps a hundred yards away; suddenly he gave a cry, threw up his arms, and went down. Ashurst saw the girl launch herself towards him, and crying out: “Go back, Stella! Go back!” he dashed out. He had never swum so fast, and reached Halliday just as he was coming up a second time. It was a case of cramp, but to get him in was not difficult, for he did not struggle. The girl, who had stopped where Ashurst told her to, helped as soon as he was in his depth, and once on the beach they sat down one on each side of him to rub his limbs, while the little ones stood by with scared faces. Halliday was soon smiling. It was—he said—rotten of him, absolutely rotten! If Frank would give him an arm, he could get to his clothes all right now. Ashurst gave him the arm, and as he did so caught sight of Stella's face, wet and flushed and tearful, all broken up out of its calm; and he thought: 'I called her Stella! Wonder if she minded?'

Ashurst immediately noticed that Phil was in trouble. He was splashing and struggling in the water, maybe a hundred yards away; suddenly he cried out, threw up his arms, and went under. Ashurst saw the girl dive towards him and shouted, “Go back, Stella! Go back!” as he rushed in. He had never swum so fast and reached Halliday just as he was surfacing for the second time. It turned out to be a cramp, but getting him back was easy since he wasn’t fighting it. The girl, who had paused where Ashurst told her, helped as soon as he was on solid ground, and once they were on the beach, they sat on either side of him to rub his limbs, while the younger kids stood by with worried expressions. Halliday was smiling again soon. He said it was—absolutely awful of him! If Frank would help him up, he could make it to his clothes now. Ashurst helped him up and, as he did, noticed Stella’s face, wet, flushed, and tear-stained, completely disrupted from its usual calm; and he thought, 'I called her Stella! I wonder if she minded?'

While they were dressing, Halliday said quietly, “You saved my life, old chap!”

While they were getting ready, Halliday said quietly, “You saved my life, buddy!”

“Rot!”

“Rot!”

Clothed, but not quite in their right minds, they went up all together to the hotel and sat down to tea, except Halliday, who was lying down in his room. After some slices of bread and jam, Sabina said:

Clothed, but still a bit out of it, they all went up to the hotel and sat down for tea, except for Halliday, who was resting in his room. After having some bread and jam, Sabina said:

“I say, you know, you are a brick!” And Freda chimed in:

“I mean, you’re amazing!” And Freda added:

“Rather!”

"Definitely!"

Ashurst saw Stella looking down; he got up in confusion, and went to the window. From there he heard Sabina mutter: “I say, let's swear blood bond. Where's your knife, Freda?” and out of the corner of his eye could see each of them solemnly prick herself, squeeze out a drop of blood and dabble on a bit of paper. He turned and made for the door.

Ashurst saw Stella looking down; he stood up in confusion and walked over to the window. From there, he heard Sabina say, “I suggest we make a blood bond. Where’s your knife, Freda?” and out of the corner of his eye, he could see each of them seriously prick their fingers, squeeze out a drop of blood, and dab it on a piece of paper. He turned and headed for the door.

“Don't be a stoat! Come back!” His arms were seized; imprisoned between the little girls he was brought back to the table. On it lay a piece of paper with an effigy drawn in blood, and the three names Stella Halliday, Sabina Halliday, Freda Halliday—also in blood, running towards it like the rays of a star. Sabina said:

“Don’t be a stoat! Come back!” He was grabbed and trapped between the little girls, who brought him back to the table. On it was a piece of paper with a figure drawn in blood, and the names Stella Halliday, Sabina Halliday, Freda Halliday—also in blood, radiating towards it like the rays of a star. Sabina said:

“That's you. We shall have to kiss you, you know.”

“That's you. We’ll have to kiss you, you know.”

And Freda echoed:

And Freda replied:

“Oh! Blow—Yes!”

“Oh! Wow—Yes!”

Before Ashurst could escape, some wettish hair dangled against his face, something like a bite descended on his nose, he felt his left arm pinched, and other teeth softly searching his cheek. Then he was released, and Freda said:

Before Ashurst could get away, some damp hair brushed against his face, something like a nip landed on his nose, he felt his left arm being pinched, and other teeth gently exploring his cheek. Then he was let go, and Freda said:

“Now, Stella.”

“Now, Stella.”

Ashurst, red and rigid, looked across the table at a red and rigid Stella. Sabina giggled; Freda cried:

Ashurst, red and stiff, looked across the table at a red and stiff Stella. Sabina laughed; Freda cried:

“Buck up—it spoils everything!”

"Cheer up—it ruins everything!"

A queer, ashamed eagerness shot through Ashurst: then he said quietly:

A strange, embarrassed excitement surged through Ashurst; then he said softly:

“Shut up, you little demons!”

"Be quiet, you little pests!"

Again Sabina giggled.

Sabina giggled again.

“Well, then, she can kiss her hand, and you can put it against your nose. It is on one side!”

“Well, then, she can kiss her hand, and you can put it against your nose. It’s on one side!”

To his amazement the girl did kiss her hand and stretch it out. Solemnly he took that cool, slim hand and laid it to his cheek. The two little girls broke into clapping, and Freda said:

To his surprise, the girl kissed her hand and held it out. Seriously, he took that cool, slender hand and rested it against his cheek. The two little girls started clapping, and Freda said:

“Now, then, we shall have to save your life at any time; that's settled. Can I have another cup, Stella, not so beastly weak?” Tea was resumed, and Ashurst, folding up the paper, put it in his pocket. The talk turned on the advantages of measles, tangerine oranges, honey in a spoon, no lessons, and so forth. Ashurst listened, silent, exchanging friendly looks with Stella, whose face was again of its normal sun-touched pink and white. It was soothing to be so taken to the heart of this jolly family, fascinating to watch their faces. And after tea, while the two little girls pressed seaweed, he talked to Stella in the window seat and looked at her water-colour sketches. The whole thing was like a pleasurable dream; time and incident hung up, importance and reality suspended. Tomorrow he would go back to Megan, with nothing of all this left save the paper with the blood of these children, in his pocket. Children! Stella was not quite that—as old as Megan! Her talk—quick, rather hard and shy, yet friendly—seemed to flourish on his silences, and about her there was something cool and virginal—a maiden in a bower. At dinner, to which Halliday, who had swallowed too much sea-water, did not come, Sabina said:

“Alright, we’ll just have to save your life whenever needed; that’s settled. Can I get another cup, Stella, not so annoyingly weak?” Tea continued, and Ashurst, folding the newspaper, tucked it into his pocket. The conversation shifted to the perks of measles, tangerine oranges, honey on a spoon, no homework, and so on. Ashurst listened quietly, sharing warm glances with Stella, whose complexion had returned to its usual sun-kissed pink and white. It felt comforting to be embraced by this cheerful family, captivating to observe their expressions. After tea, while the two little girls pressed seaweed, he chatted with Stella in the window seat and admired her watercolor sketches. The whole experience felt like an enjoyable dream; time and events were suspended, and everything felt less significant and real. Tomorrow, he would return to Megan, leaving behind only the paper with the blood of these children in his pocket. Children! Stella wasn’t quite that—she was as old as Megan! Her conversation—quick, somewhat intense and shy, yet friendly—seemed to thrive on his silence, and there was something cool and innocent about her—a maiden in a grove. At dinner, which Halliday, who had ingested too much seawater, didn’t attend, Sabina said:

“I'm going to call you Frank.”

“I'm going to call you Frank.”

Freda echoed:

Freda repeated:

“Frank, Frank, Franky.”

“Frank, Frank, Frankie.”

Ashurst grinned and bowed.

Ashurst smiled and bowed.

“Every time Stella calls you Mr. Ashurst, she's got to pay a forfeit. It's ridiculous.”

“Every time Stella calls you Mr. Ashurst, she has to pay a penalty. It's crazy.”

Ashurst looked at Stella, who grew slowly red. Sabina giggled; Freda cried:

Ashurst looked at Stella, who slowly turned red. Sabina giggled; Freda cried:

“She's 'smoking'—'smoking!'—Yah!”

"She's hot—so hot!—Yeah!"

Ashurst reached out to right and left, and grasped some fair hair in each hand.

Ashurst reached out to the right and left, grabbing some light hair in each hand.

“Look here,” he said, “you two! Leave Stella alone, or I'll tie you together!”

“Listen up,” he said, “you two! Leave Stella alone, or I’ll tie you together!”

Freda gurgled:

Freda cooed:

“Ouch! You are a beast!”

"Ouch! You're a beast!"

Sabina murmured cautiously:

Sabina whispered carefully:

“You call her Stella, you see!”

"You call her Stella, you know!"

“Why shouldn't I? It's a jolly name!”

“Why shouldn’t I? It’s a fun name!”

“All right; we give you leave to!”

“All right; we give you permission to!”

Ashurst released the hair. Stella! What would she call him—after this? But she called him nothing; till at bedtime he said, deliberately:

Ashurst let go of the hair. Stella! What could she call him—after this? But she said nothing; until bedtime when he said, deliberately:

“Good-night, Stella!”

"Good night, Stella!"

“Good-night, Mr.——Good-night, Frank! It was jolly of you, you know!”

“Good night, Mr.——Good night, Frank! It was really nice of you, you know!”

“Oh-that! Bosh!”

"Oh, that! Nonsense!"

Her quick, straight handshake tightened suddenly, and as suddenly became slack.

Her quick, firm handshake suddenly tightened and then just as quickly loosened.

Ashurst stood motionless in the empty sitting-room. Only last night, under the apple tree and the living blossom, he had held Megan to him, kissing her eyes and lips. And he gasped, swept by that rush of remembrance. To-night it should have begun-his life with her who only wanted to be with him! And now, twenty-four hours and more must pass, because-of not looking at his watch! Why had he made friends with this family of innocents just when he was saying good-bye to innocence, and all the rest of it? 'But I mean to marry her,' he thought; 'I told her so!'

Ashurst stood still in the empty living room. Just last night, under the apple tree and the blooming flowers, he had held Megan close, kissing her eyes and lips. And he sighed, overwhelmed by that wave of memories. Tonight was supposed to be the start of his life with her, the one who only wanted to be with him! And now, more than twenty-four hours had to pass, all because he hadn’t bothered to check his watch! Why did he become friends with this innocent family right when he was saying goodbye to innocence and everything that came with it? 'But I intend to marry her,' he thought; 'I told her that!'

He took a candle, lighted it, and went to his bedroom, which was next to Halliday's. His friend's voice called, as he was passing:

He picked up a candle, lit it, and headed to his bedroom, which was next to Halliday's. His friend's voice called out as he walked by:

“Is that you, old chap? I say, come in.”

“Is that you, buddy? I say, come in.”

He was sitting up in bed, smoking a pipe and reading.

He was sitting up in bed, smoking a pipe and reading.

“Sit down a bit.”

“Take a seat for a bit.”

Ashurst sat down by the open window.

Ashurst sat down by the open window.

“I've been thinking about this afternoon, you know,” said Halliday rather suddenly. “They say you go through all your past. I didn't. I suppose I wasn't far enough gone.”

“I’ve been thinking about this afternoon, you know,” Halliday said rather suddenly. “They say you go through all your past. I didn’t. I guess I wasn’t far enough gone.”

“What did you think of?”

“What were you thinking about?”

Halliday was silent for a little, then said quietly

Halliday was quiet for a moment, then said softly

“Well, I did think of one thing—rather odd—of a girl at Cambridge that I might have—you know; I was glad I hadn't got her on my mind. Anyhow, old chap, I owe it to you that I'm here; I should have been in the big dark by now. No more bed, or baccy; no more anything. I say, what d'you suppose happens to us?”

“Well, I did think of one thing—kind of strange—about a girl at Cambridge that I might have—you know; I was glad I didn't have her on my mind. Anyway, buddy, I owe it to you that I'm here; I would have been in the big dark by now. No more bed, or cigarettes; no more anything. I mean, what do you think happens to us?”

Ashurst murmured:

Ashurst whispered:

“Go out like flames, I expect.”

“Go out like flames, I assume.”

“Phew!”

“Whoa!”

“We may flicker, and cling about a bit, perhaps.”

“We might flicker and hang around a little, maybe.”

“H'm! I think that's rather gloomy. I say, I hope my young sisters have been decent to you?”

“Hm! I think that sounds pretty gloomy. I hope my younger sisters have treated you well?”

“Awfully decent.”

"Pretty nice."

Halliday put his pipe down, crossed his hands behind his neck, and turned his face towards the window.

Halliday set his pipe down, clasped his hands behind his neck, and faced the window.

“They're not bad kids!” he said.

“They're not bad kids!” he said.

Watching his friend, lying there, with that smile, and the candle-light on his face, Ashurst shuddered. Quite true! He might have been lying there with no smile, with all that sunny look gone out for ever! He might not have been lying there at all, but “sanded” at the bottom of the sea, waiting for resurrection on the ninth day, was it? And that smile of Halliday's seemed to him suddenly something wonderful, as if in it were all the difference between life and death—the little flame—the all! He got up, and said softly:

Watching his friend lying there with that smile and the candlelight on his face, Ashurst shuddered. It's true! He could have been lying there without a smile, with that sunny look gone forever! He might not have been lying there at all, but "sanded" at the bottom of the sea, waiting for resurrection on the ninth day, right? And that smile of Halliday's suddenly seemed something amazing, as if it held all the difference between life and death—the little flame—the whole lot! He got up and said softly:

“Well, you ought to sleep, I expect. Shall I blow out?”

“Well, I guess you should get some sleep. Should I turn out the light?”

Halliday caught his hand.

Halliday grabbed his hand.

“I can't say it, you know; but it must be rotten to be dead. Good-night, old boy!”

“I can’t say it, you know; but it must be terrible to be dead. Goodnight, old friend!”

Stirred and moved, Ashurst squeezed the hand, and went downstairs. The hall door was still open, and he passed out on to the lawn before the Crescent. The stars were bright in a very dark blue sky, and by their light some lilacs had that mysterious colour of flowers by night which no one can describe. Ashurst pressed his face against a spray; and before his closed eyes Megan started up, with the tiny brown spaniel pup against her breast. “I thought of a girl that I might have you know. I was glad I hadn't got her on my mind!” He jerked his head away from the lilac, and began pacing up and down over the grass, a grey phantom coming to substance for a moment in the light from the lamp at either end. He was with her again under the living, breathing white ness of the blossom, the stream chattering by, the moon glinting steel-blue on the bathing-pool; back in the rapture of his kisses on her upturned face of innocence and humble passion, back in the suspense and beauty of that pagan night. He stood still once more in the shadow of the lilacs. Here the sea, not the stream, was Night's voice; the sea with its sigh and rustle; no little bird, no owl, no night-Jar called or spun; but a piano tinkled, and the white houses cut the sky with solid curve, and the scent from the lilacs filled the air. A window of the hotel, high up, was lighted; he saw a shadow move across the blind. And most queer sensations stirred within him, a sort of churning, and twining, and turning of a single emotion on itself, as though spring and love, bewildered and confused, seeking the way, were baffled. This girl, who had called him Frank, whose hand had given his that sudden little clutch, this girl so cool and pure—what would she think of such wild, unlawful loving? He sank down on the grass, sitting there cross-legged, with his back to the house, motionless as some carved Buddha. Was he really going to break through innocence, and steal? Sniff the scent out of a wild flower, and—perhaps—throw it away? “Of a girl at Cambridge that I might have—you know!” He put his hands to the grass, one on each side, palms downwards, and pressed; it was just warm still—the grass, barely moist, soft and firm and friendly. 'What am I going to do?' he thought. Perhaps Megan was at her window, looking out at the blossom, thinking of him! Poor little Megan! 'Why not?' he thought. 'I love her! But do I really love her? or do I only want her because she is so pretty, and loves me? What am I going to do?' The piano tinkled on, the stars winked; and Ashurst gazed out before him at the dark sea, as if spell-bound. He got up at last, cramped and rather chilly. There was no longer light in any window. And he went in to bed.

Stirred and touched, Ashurst squeezed her hand and went downstairs. The hallway door was still open, and he stepped out onto the lawn in front of the Crescent. The stars were bright in a deep blue sky, and by their light, some lilacs had that mysterious nighttime color that no one can quite describe. Ashurst pressed his face against a sprig; and before his closed eyes, Megan appeared, holding the tiny brown spaniel pup against her chest. “I thought about a girl that I might have, you know. I was glad I didn’t have her on my mind!” He jerked his head away from the lilac and began pacing back and forth on the grass, a grey figure momentarily illuminated by the light from the lamps at each end. He was with her again under the living, breathing whiteness of the blossoms, the stream chattering by, the moon glinting steel-blue on the bathing pool; back in the thrill of his kisses on her innocent, humble face, and back in the suspense and beauty of that pagan night. He paused once more in the shadow of the lilacs. Here, the sea—not the stream—was Night's voice; the sea with its sigh and rustle; no little bird, no owl, no night jar called or spun; just a piano tinkling, and the white houses lined the sky with solid curves, while the scent of the lilacs filled the air. A window of the hotel, high up, was lit; he saw a shadow move across the blind. And the oddest sensations stirred within him, a kind of churning and twisting of a single emotion upon itself, as if spring and love, bewildered and confused, seeking direction, were lost. This girl, who had called him Frank, whose hand had given his that sudden little squeeze, this girl so cool and pure—what would she think of such wild, forbidden love? He sank down on the grass, sitting cross-legged with his back to the house, motionless like some carved Buddha. Was he really going to break through innocence and steal? Sniff the scent of a wildflower and—perhaps—throw it away? “About a girl at Cambridge that I might have—you know!” He placed his hands on the grass, one on each side, palms down, and pressed; it was still warm—the grass, barely moist, soft, firm, and friendly. 'What am I going to do?' he thought. Perhaps Megan was at her window, looking out at the blossoms, thinking of him! Poor little Megan! 'Why not?' he thought. 'I love her! But do I really love her? Or do I only want her because she’s so pretty and loves me? What am I going to do?' The piano played on, the stars twinkled; and Ashurst gazed out at the dark sea, as if entranced. He finally got up, cramped and a bit chilly. There was no more light in any window. And he went to bed.

Out of a deep and dreamless sleep he was awakened by the sound of thumping on the door. A shrill voice called:

Out of a deep, dreamless sleep, he was jolted awake by a loud banging on the door. A high-pitched voice shouted:

“Hi! Breakfast's ready.”

“Hey! Breakfast is ready.”

He jumped up. Where was he—? Ah!

He jumped up. Where was he—? Oh!

He found them already eating marmalade, and sat down in the empty place between Stella and Sabina, who, after watching him a little, said:

He found them already eating marmalade and sat down in the empty spot between Stella and Sabina, who, after watching him for a bit, said:

“I say, do buck up; we're going to start at half-past nine.”

“I mean, come on; we're going to start at 9:30.”

“We're going to Berry Head, old chap; you must come!”

“We're heading to Berry Head, buddy; you have to come!”

Ashurst thought: 'Come! Impossible. I shall be getting things and going back.' He looked at Stella. She said quickly:

Ashurst thought, 'No way. That's not happening. I’ll just grab what I need and head back.' He glanced at Stella. She replied quickly:

“Do come!”

"Please join us!"

Sabina chimed in:

Sabina joined in:

“It'll be no fun without you.”

“It won't be any fun without you.”

Freda got up and stood behind his chair.

Freda stood up and positioned herself behind his chair.

“You've got to come, or else I'll pull your hair!”

“You have to come, or I’ll pull your hair!”

Ashurst thought: 'Well—one day more—to think it over! One day more!' And he said:

Ashurst thought, "Well—one more day—to think it through! One more day!" And he said:

“All right! You needn't tweak my mane!”

“All right! You don’t have to mess with my hair!”

“Hurrah!”

"Yay!"

At the station he wrote a second telegram to the farm, and then tore it up; he could not have explained why. From Brixham they drove in a very little wagonette. There, squeezed between Sabina and Freda, with his knees touching Stella's, they played “Up, Jenkins “; and the gloom he was feeling gave way to frolic. In this one day more to think it over, he did not want to think! They ran races, wrestled, paddled—for to-day nobody wanted to bathe—they sang catches, played games, and ate all they had brought. The little girls fell asleep against him on the way back, and his knees still touched Stella's in the narrow wagonette. It seemed incredible that thirty hours ago he had never set eyes on any of those three flaxen heads. In the train he talked to Stella of poetry, discovering her favourites, and telling her his own with a pleasing sense of superiority; till suddenly she said, rather low:

At the station, he wrote a second telegram to the farm but ended up tearing it up; he couldn't quite explain why. From Brixham, they drove in a small wagonette. There, squeezed between Sabina and Freda, with his knees touching Stella's, they played "Up, Jenkins"; and the sadness he was feeling faded into fun. With one more day to think it over, he realized he didn’t want to think! They raced, wrestled, and paddled—no one wanted to swim today—they sang songs, played games, and ate everything they had brought. The little girls fell asleep against him on the way back, and his knees still touched Stella's in the narrow wagonette. It seemed unbelievable that just thirty hours ago, he had never seen any of those three blonde-haired girls. On the train, he chatted with Stella about poetry, finding out her favorites and sharing his own with a nice sense of superiority; until, suddenly, she said, rather quietly:

“Phil says you don't believe in a future life, Frank. I think that's dreadful.”

“Phil says you don't believe in life after death, Frank. I think that's terrible.”

Disconcerted, Ashurst muttered:

Disconcerted, Ashurst mumbled:

“I don't either believe or not believe—I simply don't know.”

“I neither believe nor disbelieve—I just don't know.”

She said quickly:

She said quickly:

“I couldn't bear that. What would be the use of living?”

“I couldn't handle that. What would be the point of living?”

Watching the frown of those pretty oblique brows, Ashurst answered:

Watching the frown of those pretty, angled brows, Ashurst replied:

“I don't believe in believing things because a one wants to.”

“I don't believe in believing things just because someone wants to.”

“But why should one wish to live again, if one isn't going to?”

"But why would someone want to live again if it's not going to happen?"

And she looked full at him.

And she looked directly at him.

He did not want to hurt her, but an itch to dominate pushed him on to say:

He didn’t want to hurt her, but a desire to dominate made him say:

“While one's alive one naturally wants to go on living for ever; that's part of being alive. But it probably isn't anything more.”

“While you're alive, you naturally want to keep living forever; that's part of being alive. But it probably doesn't mean much more than that.”

“Don't you believe in the Bible at all, then?”

“Do you not believe in the Bible at all, then?”

Ashurst thought: 'Now I shall really hurt her!'

Ashurst thought, 'Now I'm really going to hurt her!'

“I believe in the Sermon on the Mount, because it's beautiful and good for all time.”

“I believe in the Sermon on the Mount because it's beautiful and always relevant.”

“But don't you believe Christ was divine?”

"But don't you think Christ was divine?"

He shook his head.

He shook his head.

She turned her face quickly to the window, and there sprang into his mind Megan's prayer, repeated by little Nick: “God bless us all, and Mr. Ashes!” Who else would ever say a prayer for him, like her who at this moment must be waiting—waiting to see him come down the lane? And he thought suddenly: 'What a scoundrel I am!'

She quickly turned her face to the window, and in his mind came Megan's prayer, spoken by little Nick: “God bless us all, and Mr. Ashes!” Who else would ever pray for him, like her, who at this moment must be waiting—waiting to see him come down the lane? And he thought suddenly: 'What a jerk I am!'

All that evening this thought kept coming back; but, as is not unusual, each time with less poignancy, till it seemed almost a matter of course to be a scoundrel. And—strange!—he did not know whether he was a scoundrel if he meant to go back to Megan, or if he did not mean to go back to her.

All that evening, this thought kept popping up; but, as is common, each time it felt less intense, until it seemed almost normal to be a jerk. And—strangely!—he didn’t know whether he was a jerk if he planned to go back to Megan, or if he didn’t plan to go back to her.

They played cards till the children were sent off to bed; then Stella went to the piano. From over on the window seat, where it was nearly dark, Ashurst watched her between the candles—that fair head on the long, white neck bending to the movement of her hands. She played fluently, without much expression; but what a Picture she made, the faint golden radiance, a sort of angelic atmosphere hovering about her! Who could have passionate thoughts or wild desires in the presence of that swaying, white-clothed girl with the seraphic head? She played a thing of Schumann's called “Warum?” Then Halliday brought out a flute, and the spell was broken. After this they made Ashurst sing, Stella playing him accompaniments from a book of Schumann songs, till, in the middle of “Ich grolle nicht,” two small figures clad in blue dressing-gowns crept in and tried to conceal themselves beneath the piano. The evening broke up in confusion, and what Sabina called “a splendid rag.”

They played cards until the kids were sent off to bed; then Stella went to the piano. From the window seat, where it was almost dark, Ashurst watched her between the candles—her fair head on the long, white neck bending with the movement of her hands. She played smoothly, without much expression; but what a sight she was, the faint golden glow creating a sort of angelic atmosphere around her! Who could have passionate thoughts or wild desires in the presence of that swaying, white-clothed girl with the angelic face? She played a piece by Schumann called “Warum?” Then Halliday took out a flute, and the mood was broken. After that, they got Ashurst to sing, with Stella playing accompaniments from a book of Schumann songs, until, in the middle of “Ich grolle nicht,” two small figures in blue bathrobes crept in and tried to hide under the piano. The evening ended in chaos, and what Sabina called “a splendid mess.”

That night Ashurst hardly slept at all. He was thinking, tossing and turning. The intense domestic intimacy of these last two days, the strength of this Halliday atmosphere, seemed to ring him round, and make the farm and Megan—even Megan—seem unreal. Had he really made love to her—really promised to take her away to live with him? He must have been bewitched by the spring, the night, the apple blossom! This May madness could but destroy them both! The notion that he was going to make her his mistress—that simple child not yet eighteen—now filled him with a sort of horror, even while it still stung and whipped his blood. He muttered to himself: “It's awful, what I've done—awful!” And the sound of Schumann's music throbbed and mingled with his fevered thoughts, and he saw again Stella's cool, white, fair-haired figure and bending neck, the queer, angelic radiance about her. 'I must have been—I must be-mad!' he thought. 'What came into me? Poor little Megan!' “God bless us all, and Mr. Ashes! I want to be with you—only to be with you!” And burying his face in his pillow, he smothered down a fit of sobbing. Not to go back was awful! To go back—more awful still!

That night, Ashurst hardly slept at all. He kept thinking, tossing and turning. The intense closeness of the last two days, the powerful Halliday atmosphere, seemed to surround him, making the farm and Megan—even Megan—feel unreal. Had he really made love to her? Had he truly promised to take her away to live with him? He must have been enchanted by the spring, the night, the apple blossoms! This May madness could only ruin them both! The idea of making her his mistress—such a simple girl not yet eighteen—now filled him with a kind of horror, even while it still excited and raced his heart. He muttered to himself, “It's terrible, what I've done—terrible!” And the sound of Schumann's music pulsed and intertwined with his feverish thoughts, and he saw again Stella's cool, white, fair-haired figure and bent neck, the strange, angelic glow around her. 'I must have been—I must be crazy!' he thought. 'What got into me? Poor little Megan!' “God bless us all, and Mr. Ashes! I just want to be with you—only to be with you!” And burying his face in his pillow, he suppressed a fit of sobbing. Not going back was awful! Going back—was even worse!

Emotion, when you are young, and give real vent to it, loses its power of torture. And he fell asleep, thinking: 'What was it—a few kisses—all forgotten in a month!'

Emotion, when you're young and you really let it out, loses its ability to hurt you. And he fell asleep, thinking: 'What was it—a few kisses—all forgotten in a month!'

Next morning he got his cheque cashed, but avoided the shop of the dove-grey dress like the plague; and, instead, bought himself some necessaries. He spent the whole day in a queer mood, cherishing a kind of sullenness against himself. Instead of the hankering of the last two days, he felt nothing but a blank—all passionate longing gone, as if quenched in that outburst of tears. After tea Stella put a book down beside him, and said shyly:

Next morning he cashed his check but steered clear of the dove-grey dress shop like it was contagious; instead, he bought some essentials. He spent the entire day in a strange mood, holding onto a sense of gloom directed at himself. Rather than the longing he’d felt over the past couple of days, he was left with nothing but emptiness—all passionate desire gone, as if extinguished by that outpouring of tears. After tea, Stella placed a book beside him and said shyly:

“Have you read that, Frank?”

“Did you read that, Frank?”

It was Farrar's “Life of Christ.” Ashurst smiled. Her anxiety about his beliefs seemed to him comic, but touching. Infectious too, perhaps, for he began to have an itch to justify himself, if not to convert her. And in the evening, when the children and Halliday were mending their shrimping nets, he said:

It was Farrar's “Life of Christ.” Ashurst smiled. Her worry about his beliefs struck him as both funny and endearing. Maybe it was contagious, because he started feeling the urge to justify himself, if not to change her mind. And in the evening, while the kids and Halliday were fixing their shrimping nets, he said:

“At the back of orthodox religion, so far as I can see, there's always the idea of reward—what you can get for being good; a kind of begging for favours. I think it all starts in fear.”

“At the core of traditional religion, from what I can tell, there's always the idea of reward—what you can gain for being good; a sort of asking for favors. I believe it all begins with fear.”

She was sitting on the sofa making reefer knots with a bit of string. She looked up quickly:

She was sitting on the couch tying knots with a piece of string. She glanced up quickly:

“I think it's much deeper than that.”

“I believe it's much deeper than that.”

Ashurst felt again that wish to dominate.

Ashurst felt that urge to take control once more.

“You think so,” he said; “but wanting the 'quid pro quo' is about the deepest thing in all of us! It's jolly hard to get to the bottom of it!”

“You think that,” he said; “but needing something in return is one of the most fundamental aspects of human nature! It’s really difficult to understand it fully!”

She wrinkled her brows in a puzzled frown.

She furrowed her brows in a confused frown.

“I don't think I understand.”

“I don't think I get it.”

He went on obstinately:

He continued stubbornly:

“Well, think, and see if the most religious people aren't those who feel that this life doesn't give them all they want. I believe in being good because to be good is good in itself.”

“Well, think about it, and see if the most religious people aren't the ones who feel that this life doesn't give them everything they desire. I believe in being good because being good is valuable in itself.”

“Then you do believe in being good?”

“Then you do believe in being good?”

How pretty she looked now—it was easy to be good with her! And he nodded and said:

How pretty she looked now—it was easy to be nice with her! And he nodded and said:

“I say, show me how to make that knot!”

“I’m just saying, show me how to make that knot!”

With her fingers touching his, in manoeuvring the bit of string, he felt soothed and happy. And when he went to bed he wilfully kept his thoughts on her, wrapping himself in her fair, cool sisterly radiance, as in some garment of protection.

With her fingers brushing against his while moving the piece of string, he felt comforted and content. And when he went to bed, he purposely focused on her, enveloping himself in her gentle, cool sisterly glow, like a protective garment.

Next day he found they had arranged to go by train to Totnes, and picnic at Berry Pomeroy Castle. Still in that resolute oblivion of the past, he took his place with them in the landau beside Halliday, back to the horses. And, then, along the sea front, nearly at the turning to the railway station, his heart almost leaped into his mouth. Megan—Megan herself!—was walking on the far pathway, in her old skirt and jacket and her tam-o'-shanter, looking up into the faces of the passers-by. Instinctively he threw his hand up for cover, then made a feint of clearing dust out of his eyes; but between his fingers he could see her still, moving, not with her free country step, but wavering, lost-looking, pitiful-like some little dog which has missed its master and does not know whether to run on, to run back—where to run. How had she come like this?—what excuse had she found to get away?—what did she hope for? But with every turn of the wheels bearing him away from her, his heart revolted and cried to him to stop them, to get out, and go to her! When the landau turned the corner to the station he could stand it no more, and opening the carriage door, muttered: “I've forgotten something! Go on—don't wait for me! I'll join you at the castle by the next train!” He jumped, stumbled, spun round, recovered his balance, and walked forward, while the carriage with the astonished Hallidays rolled on.

The next day, he found out they had planned to take a train to Totnes and have a picnic at Berry Pomeroy Castle. Still determined to put the past behind him, he took his seat in the landau next to Halliday, facing the horses. Then, as they were along the sea front, just before the turn to the railway station, his heart nearly dropped. Megan—Megan herself!—was walking on the far pathway, wearing her old skirt and jacket, and her tam-o'-shanter, looking up at the faces of passersby. Instinctively, he raised his hand to shield himself, then pretended to dust his eyes; but between his fingers, he could still see her, moving not with her usual confident stride, but unsteady, looking lost, like a little dog that has lost its owner and doesn’t know whether to move forward or back—uncertain where to go. How had she ended up like this? What excuse did she find to get away? What was she hoping for? But with each rotation of the wheels taking him farther from her, his heart protested, urging him to stop them, to get out, and go to her! When the landau turned the corner toward the station, he couldn't take it any longer and, opening the carriage door, muttered, “I forgot something! Keep going—don’t wait for me! I’ll meet you at the castle on the next train!” He jumped out, stumbled, quickly righted himself, and walked ahead as the carriage rolled on with the baffled Hallidays.

From the corner he could only just see Megan, a long way ahead now. He ran a few steps, checked himself, and dropped into a walk. With each step nearer to her, further from the Hallidays, he walked more and more slowly. How did it alter anything—this sight of her? How make the going to her, and that which must come of it, less ugly? For there was no hiding it—since he had met the Hallidays he had become gradually sure that he would not marry Megan. It would only be a wild love-time, a troubled, remorseful, difficult time—and then—well, then he would get tired, just because she gave him everything, was so simple, and so trustful, so dewy. And dew—wears off! The little spot of faded colour, her tam-o'-shanter cap, wavered on far in front of him; she was looking up into every face, and at the house windows. Had any man ever such a cruel moment to go through? Whatever he did, he felt he would be a beast. And he uttered a groan which made a nursemaid turn and stare. He saw Megan stop and lean against the sea-wall, looking at the sea; and he too stopped. Quite likely she had never seen the sea before, and even in her distress could not resist that sight. 'Yes-she's seen nothing,' he thought; 'everything's before her. And just for a few weeks' passion, I shall be cutting her life to ribbons. I'd better go and hang myself rather than do it!' And suddenly he seemed to see Stella's calm eyes looking into his, the wave of fluffy hair on her forehead stirred by the wind. Ah! it would be madness, would mean giving up all that he respected, and his own self-respect. He turned and walked quickly back towards the station. But memory of that poor, bewildered little figure, those anxious eyes searching the passers-by, smote him too hard again, and once more he turned towards the sea.

From the corner, he could barely see Megan, now a long way ahead. He ran a few steps, paused, and fell into a walk. With each step he took towards her and away from the Hallidays, he walked more slowly. What difference did seeing her make? How could heading towards her and whatever would come from it feel less wrong? Because he couldn't deny it—ever since meeting the Hallidays, he had slowly convinced himself he wouldn't marry Megan. It would only be a fleeting love, a complicated and regretful time—and then—well, he'd eventually grow tired of her, despite how much she gave him, her simplicity, her trust, her freshness. And freshness—fades away! The small, faded spot of color, her tam-o'-shanter cap, shimmered far ahead; she was looking up at faces and house windows. Had any guy ever faced such a cruel moment? No matter what he did, he felt like a jerk. He let out a groan that made a nursemaid turn and stare. He saw Megan stop and lean against the sea wall, gazing at the ocean; he stopped too. She probably had never seen the sea before, and even in her distress, she couldn't resist staring at it. 'Yes—she's seen nothing,' he thought; 'everything is ahead of her. And just for a few weeks of passion, I’ll ruin her life. I might as well hang myself instead!' Suddenly, he imagined Stella's calm eyes looking into his, the breeze tousling her fluffy hair. Ah! It would be madness, giving up everything he valued, including his own self-respect. He turned and quickly walked back towards the station. But the memory of that poor, lost little figure, those worried eyes searching the crowd, hit him too hard again, and once more, he turned towards the sea.

The cap was no longer visible; that little spot of colour had vanished in the stream of the noon promenaders. And impelled by the passion of longing, the dearth which comes on one when life seems to be whirling something out of reach, he hurried forward. She was nowhere to be seen; for half an hour he looked for her; then on the beach flung himself face downward in the sand. To find her again he knew he had only to go to the station and wait till she returned from her fruitless quest, to take her train home; or to take train himself and go back to the farm, so that she found him there when she returned. But he lay inert in the sand, among the indifferent groups of children with their spades and buckets. Pity at her little figure wandering, seeking, was well-nigh merged in the spring-running of his blood; for it was all wild feeling now—the chivalrous part, what there had been of it, was gone. He wanted her again, wanted her kisses, her soft, little body, her abandonment, all her quick, warm, pagan emotion; wanted the wonderful feeling of that night under the moonlit apple boughs; wanted it all with a horrible intensity, as the faun wants the nymph. The quick chatter of the little bright trout-stream, the dazzle of the buttercups, the rocks of the old “wild men”; the calling of the cuckoos and yaffles, the hooting of the owls; and the red moon peeping out of the velvet dark at the living whiteness of the blossom; and her face just out of reach at the window, lost in its love-look; and her heart against his, her lips answering his, under the apple tree—all this besieged him. Yet he lay inert. What was it which struggled against pity and this feverish longing, and kept him there paralysed in the warm sand? Three flaxen heads—a fair face with friendly blue—grey eyes, a slim hand pressing his, a quick voice speaking his name—“So you do believe in being good?” Yes, and a sort of atmosphere as of some old walled-in English garden, with pinks, and cornflowers, and roses, and scents of lavender and lilaccool and fair, untouched, almost holy—all that he had been brought up to feel was clean and good. And suddenly he thought: 'She might come along the front again and see me!' and he got up and made his way to the rock at the far end of the beach. There, with the spray biting into his face, he could think more coolly. To go back to the farm and love Megan out in the woods, among the rocks, with everything around wild and fitting—that, he knew, was impossible, utterly. To transplant her to a great town, to keep, in some little flat or rooms, one who belonged so wholly to Nature—the poet in him shrank from it. His passion would be a mere sensuous revel, soon gone; in London, her very simplicity, her lack of all intellectual quality, would make her his secret plaything—nothing else. The longer he sat on the rock, with his feet dangling over a greenish pool from which the sea was ebbing, the more clearly he saw this; but it was as if her arms and all of her were slipping slowly, slowly down from him, into the pool, to be carried away out to sea; and her face looking up, her lost face with beseeching eyes, and dark, wet hair-possessed, haunted, tortured him! He got up at last, scaled the low rock-cliff, and made his way down into a sheltered cove. Perhaps in the sea he could get back his control—lose this fever! And stripping off his clothes, he swam out. He wanted to tire himself so that nothing mattered and swam recklessly, fast and far; then suddenly, for no reason, felt afraid. Suppose he could not reach shore again—suppose the current set him out—or he got cramp, like Halliday! He turned to swim in. The red cliffs looked a long way off. If he were drowned they would find his clothes. The Hallidays would know; but Megan perhaps never—they took no newspaper at the farm. And Phil Halliday's words came back to him again: “A girl at Cambridge I might have Glad I haven't got her on my mind!” And in that moment of unreasoning fear he vowed he would not have her on his mind. Then his fear left him; he swam in easily enough, dried himself in the sun, and put on his clothes. His heart felt sore, but no longer ached; his body cool and refreshed.

The cap was out of sight; that little splash of color had disappeared among the crowd of noon walkers. Driven by a strong desire, that emptiness that hits you when life feels like it's slipping away, he rushed ahead. She was nowhere to be found; he searched for her for half an hour before throwing himself down in the sand. To find her again, he just needed to go to the station and wait for her to return from her fruitless search, or to take a train back to the farm so she would find him there when she got back. But he just lay there in the sand, surrounded by indifferent groups of kids with their shovels and buckets. Sympathy for her small figure wandering and searching nearly merged with the wild passion coursing through him; the noble part of him, whatever was left of it, had vanished. He wanted her again, wanted her kisses, her soft, slight body, her carefree spirit, all her vibrant, warm, untamed emotions; he craved the incredible feeling from that night under the moonlit apple trees, wanted it all with an overwhelming intensity, like a faun longing for a nymph. The lively chatter of the little sparkling stream, the brightness of the buttercups, the stones of the ancient “wild men”; the calls of the cuckoos and woodpeckers, the hooting of the owls; and the red moon peeking through the dark velvet sky at the bright blossoms; and her face just out of reach at the window, lost in its look of love; and her heart against his, her lips responding to his beneath the apple tree—all of this surrounded him. Yet he lay there motionless. What was it that fought against pity and this frantic desire, keeping him paralyzed in the warm sand? Three blond heads—a pretty face with friendly blue-grey eyes, a slender hand holding his, a quick voice calling his name—“So you do believe in being good?” Yes, and there was an atmosphere like an old, walled English garden, filled with pinks, cornflowers, and roses, and scents of lavender and lilac—cool, beautiful, untouched, almost sacred—all that he had been taught was clean and good. And suddenly he thought: 'She might walk by again and see me!' so he got up and headed toward the rock at the end of the beach. There, with the spray hitting his face, he could think more clearly. Going back to the farm and loving Megan in the woods, among the rocks, with everything wild and fitting—that, he knew, was utterly impossible. To bring her to a big city, to keep her in a small flat or rooms, when she was so completely a part of Nature—the poet in him recoiled from it. His passion would become just a physical indulgence, fading quickly; in London, her very simplicity, her lack of any intellectual depth, would turn her into his private plaything—nothing more. The longer he sat on the rock, his feet dangling over a greenish pool where the tide was receding, the clearer this became; but it felt like her arms and everything about her were slowly slipping away from him, into the pool, being carried out to sea; and her face gazing up at him, her lost face with pleading eyes, and dark, wet hair—haunted, tortured him! Finally, he got up, climbed the low rock cliff, and made his way down into a sheltered cove. Maybe in the sea, he could regain his composure—shake off this fever! And stripping off his clothes, he swam out. He wanted to exhaust himself so that nothing mattered, and he swam recklessly, fast, and far; then suddenly, for no reason at all, felt scared. What if he couldn't reach the shore again—what if the current pulled him away—or he got a cramp, like Halliday! He turned to swim back. The red cliffs looked far away. If he drowned, they'd find his clothes. The Hallidays would know; but maybe Megan never would—they didn't take a newspaper at the farm. And Phil Halliday's words echoed in his mind again: “A girl at Cambridge I might have Glad I haven't got her on my mind!” And in that moment of irrational fear, he vowed he wouldn't keep her on his mind. Then his fear faded; he swam back easily enough, dried off in the sun, and put on his clothes. His heart felt heavy, but it no longer ached; his body was cool and refreshed.

When one is as young as Ashurst, pity is not a violent emotion. And, back in the Hallidays' sitting-room, eating a ravenous tea, he felt much like a man recovered from fever. Everything seemed new and clear; the tea, the buttered toast and jam tasted absurdly good; tobacco had never smelt so nice. And walking up and down the empty room, he stopped here and there to touch or look. He took up Stella's work-basket, fingered the cotton reels and a gaily-coloured plait of sewing silks, smelt at the little bag filled with woodroffe she kept among them. He sat down at the piano, playing tunes with one finger, thinking: 'To-night she'll play; I shall watch her while she's playing; it does me good to watch her.' He took up the book, which still lay where she had placed it beside him, and tried to read. But Megan's little, sad figure began to come back at once, and he got up and leaned in the window, listening to the thrushes in the Crescent gardens, gazing at the sea, dreamy and blue below the trees. A servant came in and cleared the tea away, and he still stood, inhaling the evening air, trying not to think. Then he saw the Hallidays coming through the gate of the Crescent, Stella a little in front of Phil and the children, with their baskets, and instinctively he drew back. His heart, too sore and discomfited, shrank from this encounter, yet wanted its friendly solace—bore a grudge against this influence, yet craved its cool innocence, and the pleasure of watching Stella's face. From against the wall behind the piano he saw her come in and stand looking a little blank as though disappointed; then she saw him and smiled, a swift, brilliant smile which warmed yet irritated Ashurst.

When you're as young as Ashurst, feeling sorry for someone isn't a strong emotion. Back in the Hallidays' living room, having a hearty afternoon tea, he felt like a man recovering from a fever. Everything felt fresh and clear; the tea, buttered toast, and jam tasted surprisingly good; tobacco had never smelled so pleasant. As he walked back and forth in the empty room, he paused occasionally to touch or look at things. He picked up Stella's sewing basket, fiddled with the spools of thread and a brightly colored bundle of sewing silks, and sniffed the small bag filled with woodroffe she kept in there. He sat down at the piano, played some tunes with one finger, and thought, 'Tonight she'll play; I'll watch her while she plays; watching her makes me feel good.' He picked up the book that was still resting where she left it beside him and tried to read. But Megan's little, sad figure immediately came to mind, so he got up and leaned out the window, listening to the thrushes in the Crescent gardens and gazing at the dreamy, blue sea below the trees. A servant came in and cleared away the tea. He remained there, breathing in the evening air, trying not to think. Then he saw the Hallidays entering through the Crescent gate, with Stella slightly ahead of Phil and the kids, carrying their baskets, and he instinctively stepped back. His heart, too sore and uneasy, recoiled from this meeting, even though it longed for their friendly comfort—resented this influence, yet yearned for its cool innocence, and the joy of watching Stella's face. From his spot against the wall behind the piano, he saw her enter and stand there looking a bit lost, as if disappointed; then she noticed him and smiled, a quick, brilliant smile that warmed yet irritated Ashurst.

“You never came after us, Frank.”

“You never came after us, Frank.”

“No; I found I couldn't.”

“No; I realized I couldn't.”

“Look! We picked such lovely late violets!” She held out a bunch. Ashurst put his nose to them, and there stirred within him vague longings, chilled instantly by a vision of Megan's anxious face lifted to the faces of the passers-by.

“Look! We picked some beautiful late violets!” She held out a bunch. Ashurst put his nose to them, and a wave of vague longings stirred within him, instantly cooled by the image of Megan's worried face turned towards the passers-by.

He said shortly: “How jolly!” and turned away. He went up to his room, and, avoiding the children, who were coming up the stairs, threw himself on his bed, and lay there with his arms crossed over his face. Now that he felt the die really cast, and Megan given up, he hated himself, and almost hated the Hallidays and their atmosphere of healthy, happy English homes.

He said briefly, “How great!” and turned away. He went up to his room, and, steering clear of the kids who were coming up the stairs, threw himself on his bed and lay there with his arms crossed over his face. Now that he felt the decision was final and Megan was no longer interested, he loathed himself, and he almost hated the Hallidays and their vibe of healthy, happy English households.

Why should they have chanced here, to drive away first love—to show him that he was going to be no better than a common seducer? What right had Stella, with her fair, shy beauty, to make him know for certain that he would never marry Megan; and, tarnishing it all, bring him such bitterness of regretful longing and such pity? Megan would be back by now, worn out by her miserable seeking—poor little thing!—expecting, perhaps, to find him there when she reached home. Ashurst bit at his sleeve, to stifle a groan of remorseful longing. He went to dinner glum and silent, and his mood threw a dinge even over the children. It was a melancholy, rather ill tempered evening, for they were all tired; several times he caught Stella looking at him with a hurt, puzzled expression, and this pleased his evil mood. He slept miserably; got up quite early, and wandered out. He went down to the beach. Alone there with the serene, the blue, the sunlit sea, his heart relaxed a little. Conceited fool—to think that Megan would take it so hard! In a week or two she would almost have forgotten! And he well, he would have the reward of virtue! A good young man! If Stella knew, she would give him her blessing for resisting that devil she believed in; and he uttered a hard laugh. But slowly the peace and beauty of sea and sky, the flight of the lonely seagulls, made him feel ashamed. He bathed, and turned homewards.

Why did they have to come here, to chase away first love—to show him that he was going to be just a regular seducer? What right did Stella have, with her delicate, shy beauty, to make him realize for sure that he would never marry Megan; and on top of that, fill him with such bitterness of regretful longing and pity? Megan should be back by now, worn out from her miserable search—poor thing!—expecting, maybe, to find him there when she got home. Ashurst bit his sleeve to suppress a groan of regretful longing. He went to dinner feeling gloomy and silent, and his mood cast a shadow even over the kids. It was a sad, rather irritable evening, as they were all tired; several times he caught Stella looking at him with a hurt, confused expression, and this fed into his bad mood. He slept poorly; got up quite early, and wandered outside. He headed down to the beach. Alone there with the calm, blue, sunlit sea, his heart relaxed a bit. What a self-absorbed fool—to think that Megan would take it so hard! In a week or two, she'd barely remember! And he, well, he would reap the rewards of being a good guy! A model young man! If Stella knew, she would congratulate him for resisting that devil she believed in; he let out a harsh laugh. But slowly, the peace and beauty of the sea and sky, the flight of the lonely seagulls, made him feel ashamed. He swam, then turned homeward.

In the Crescent gardens Stella herself was sitting on a camp stool, sketching. He stole up close behind. How fair and pretty she was, bent diligently, holding up her brush, measuring, wrinkling her brows.

In the Crescent gardens, Stella was sitting on a camp stool, sketching. He crept up close behind her. She was so beautiful, concentrating hard, holding up her brush, measuring, and furrowing her brow.

He said gently:

He said softly:

“Sorry I was such a beast last night, Stella.”

“Sorry I was such a jerk last night, Stella.”

She turned round, startled, flushed very pink, and said in her quick way:

She turned around, surprised, her face turning bright pink, and said quickly:

“It's all right. I knew there was something. Between friends it doesn't matter, does it?”

“It's okay. I knew something was up. It doesn't really matter between friends, does it?”

Ashurst answered:

Ashurst replied:

“Between friends—and we are, aren't we?”

“Between friends—and we really are, right?”

She looked up at him, nodded vehemently, and her upper teeth gleamed again in that swift, brilliant smile.

She looked up at him, nodded enthusiastically, and her upper teeth shone once more in that quick, radiant smile.

Three days later he went back to London, travelling with the Hallidays. He had not written to the farm. What was there he could say?

Three days later, he returned to London, traveling with the Hallidays. He hadn't written to the farm. What could he possibly say?

On the last day of April in the following year he and Stella were married....

On the last day of April the next year, he and Stella got married....

Such were Ashurst's memories, sitting against the wall among the gorse, on his silver-wedding day. At this very spot, where he had laid out the lunch, Megan must have stood outlined against the sky when he had first caught sight of her. Of all queer coincidences! And there moved in him a longing to go down and see again the farm and the orchard, and the meadow of the gipsy bogle. It would not take long; Stella would be an hour yet, perhaps.

Such were Ashurst's memories, sitting against the wall among the gorse, on his silver wedding anniversary. Right here, where he had set out the lunch, Megan must have stood outlined against the sky when he first saw her. What a strange coincidence! And he felt a desire to go down and see the farm and the orchard again, and the meadow of the gypsy spirit. It wouldn't take long; Stella would probably be gone for another hour.

How well he remembered it all—the little crowning group of pine trees, the steep-up grass hill behind! He paused at the farm gate. The low stone house, the yew-tree porch, the flowering currants—not changed a bit; even the old green chair was out there on the grass under the window, where he had reached up to her that night to take the key. Then he turned down the lane, and stood leaning on the orchard gate-grey skeleton of a gate, as then. A black pig even was wandering in there among the trees. Was it true that twenty-six years had passed, or had he dreamed and awakened to find Megan waiting for him by the big apple tree? Unconsciously he put up his hand to his grizzled beard and brought himself back to reality. Opening the gate, he made his way down through the docks and nettles till he came to the edge, and the old apple tree itself. Unchanged! A little more of the greygreen lichen, a dead branch or two, and for the rest it might have been only last night that he had embraced that mossy trunk after Megan's flight and inhaled its woody savour, while above his head the moonlit blossom had seemed to breathe and live. In that early spring a few buds were showing already; the blackbirds shouting their songs, a cuckoo calling, the sunlight bright and warm. Incredibly the same-the chattering trout-stream, the narrow pool he had lain in every morning, splashing the water over his flanks and chest; and out there in the wild meadow the beech clump and the stone where the gipsy bogie was supposed to sit. And an ache for lost youth, a hankering, a sense of wasted love and sweetness, gripped Ashurst by the throat. Surely, on this earth of such wild beauty, one was meant to hold rapture to one's heart, as this earth and sky held it! And yet, one could not!

How clearly he remembered it all—the small group of pine trees, the steep grassy hill behind! He paused at the farm gate. The low stone house, the yew-tree porch, the flowering currants—hadn't changed at all; even the old green chair was out there on the grass under the window, where he had reached up to her that night to take the key. Then he turned down the lane and leaned on the orchard gate—an old, worn gate, just like back then. A black pig was even wandering among the trees. Was it really true that twenty-six years had gone by, or had he dreamed and woken up to find Megan waiting for him by the big apple tree? Without thinking, he touched his grizzled beard and brought himself back to reality. Opening the gate, he made his way through the docks and nettles until he reached the edge, and there stood the old apple tree itself. Unchanged! A little more of the gray-green lichen, a dead branch or two, and besides that, it might have been just last night that he had embraced that mossy trunk after Megan's flight and breathed in its woody scent, while above him the moonlit blossoms seemed to breathe and live. In that early spring, a few buds were already showing; the blackbirds were singing loudly, a cuckoo was calling, and the sunlight was bright and warm. Incredibly the same—the chattering trout stream, the narrow pool where he lay every morning, splashing water over his sides and chest; and out there in the wild meadow, the beech clump and the stone where the gipsy bogie was said to sit. And a deep ache for lost youth, a longing, a sense of wasted love and sweetness, gripped Ashurst by the throat. Surely, in this earth of such wild beauty, one was meant to hold onto joy, just as this earth and sky held it! And yet, one couldn't!

He went to the edge of the stream, and looking down at the little pool, thought: 'Youth and spring! What has become of them all, I wonder?'

He went to the edge of the stream, and looking down at the little pool, thought: 'Youth and spring! I wonder what happened to them all?'

And then, in sudden fear of having this memory jarred by human encounter, he went back to the lane, and pensively retraced his steps to the crossroads.

And then, suddenly afraid that interacting with someone might disrupt this memory, he returned to the lane and thoughtfully retraced his steps to the crossroads.

Beside the car an old, grey-bearded labourer was leaning on a stick, talking to the chauffeur. He broke off at once, as though guilty of disrespect, and touching his hat, prepared to limp on down the lane.

Beside the car, an old, gray-bearded worker was leaning on a stick, chatting with the driver. He instantly stopped, as if feeling guilty for being disrespectful, and touched his hat, getting ready to shuffle down the lane.

Ashurst pointed to the narrow green mound. “Can you tell me what this is?”

Ashurst gestured toward the slim green hill. “Do you know what this is?”

The old fellow stopped; on his face had come a look as though he were thinking: 'You've come to the right shop, mister!'

The old guy stopped; a look came over his face as if he were thinking: 'You've come to the right place, buddy!'

“'Tes a grave,” he said.

"That's serious," he said.

“But why out here?”

"Why are we out here?"

The old man smiled. “That's a tale, as yu may say. An' not the first time as I've a-told et—there's plenty folks asks 'bout that bit o' turf. 'Maid's Grave' us calls et, 'ereabouts.”

The old man smiled. “That's a story, as you might say. And it's not the first time I've told it—plenty of people ask about that piece of land. We call it 'Maid's Grave' around here.”

Ashurst held out his pouch. “Have a fill?”

Ashurst extended his pouch. “Want to take some?”

The old man touched his hat again, and slowly filled an old clay pipe. His eyes, looking upward out of a mass of wrinkles and hair, were still quite bright.

The old man adjusted his hat again and slowly packed an old clay pipe. His eyes, peering out from a tangle of wrinkles and hair, still had a spark.

“If yu don' mind, zurr, I'll zet down my leg's 'urtin' a bit today.” And he sat down on the mound of turf.

“If you don't mind, sir, I'll sit down since my leg is hurting a bit today.” And he sat down on the mound of grass.

“There's always a flower on this grave. An' 'tain't so very lonesome, neither; brave lot o' folks goes by now, in they new motor cars an' things—not as 'twas in th' old days. She've a got company up 'ere. 'Twas a poor soul killed 'erself.”

“There's always a flower on this grave. And it isn’t so lonely, either; a lot of people pass by now in their new cars and things—not like in the old days. She has company up here. It was a poor soul who took her own life.”

“I see!” said Ashurst. “Cross-roads burial. I didn't know that custom was kept up.”

“I see!” said Ashurst. “Burial at the crossroads. I didn’t realize that tradition was still practiced.”

“Ah! but 'twas a main long time ago. Us 'ad a parson as was very God-fearin' then. Let me see, I've a 'ad my pension six year come Michaelmas, an' I were just on fifty when t'appened. There's none livin' knows more about et than what I du. She belonged close 'ere; same farm as where I used to work along o' Mrs. Narracombe 'tes Nick Narracombe's now; I dus a bit for 'im still, odd times.”

“Ah! but it was a really long time ago. We had a pastor who was very God-fearing back then. Let me see, I've had my pension for six years come Michaelmas, and I was just about fifty when it happened. There's no one living who knows more about it than I do. She was from right here; same farm as where I used to work with Mrs. Narracombe—it's Nick Narracombe's now; I do a bit of work for him still, sometimes.”

Ashurst, who was leaning against the gate, lighting his pipe, left his curved hands before his face for long after the flame of the match had gone out.

Ashurst, who was resting against the gate and lighting his pipe, kept his curved hands in front of his face long after the match's flame had gone out.

“Yes?” he said, and to himself his voice sounded hoarse and queer.

“Yes?” he said, and his voice sounded rough and strange to him.

“She was one in an 'underd, poor maid! I putts a flower 'ere every time I passes. Pretty maid an' gude maid she was, though they wouldn't burry 'er up to th' church, nor where she wanted to be burried neither.” The old labourer paused, and put his hairy, twisted hand flat down on the turf beside the bluebells.

“She was one of those unappreciated, poor maids! I place a flower here every time I pass by. She was a pretty girl and a good person, even though they wouldn’t bury her in the churchyard or where she wanted to be buried.” The old laborer paused and placed his rough, twisted hand flat on the grass beside the bluebells.

“Yes?” said Ashurst.

"Yes?" Ashurst responded.

“In a manner of speakin',” the old man went on, “I think as 'twas a love-story—though there's no one never knu for zartin. Yu can't tell what's in a maid's 'ead but that's wot I think about it.” He drew his hand along the turf. “I was fond o' that maid—don' know as there was anyone as wasn' fond of 'er. But she was to lovin'-'.arted—that's where 'twas, I think.” He looked up. And Ashurst, whose lips were trembling in the cover of his beard, murmured again: “Yes?”

“In a way,” the old man continued, “I believe it was a love story—though no one really knows for sure. You can’t tell what’s in a girl’s mind, but that’s what I think. He brushed his hand across the grass. “I cared for that girl—don’t know anyone who didn’t care for her. But she was too warm-hearted—that’s where the issue was, I think.” He looked up. And Ashurst, whose lips were quivering under his beard, murmured again: “Yes?”

“'Twas in the spring, 'bout now as 't might be, or a little later—blossom time—an' we 'ad one o' they young college gentlemen stayin' at the farm-nice feller tu, with 'is 'ead in the air. I liked 'e very well, an' I never see nothin' between 'em, but to my thinkin' 'e turned the maid's fancy.” The old man took the pipe out of his mouth, spat, and went on:

"'It was spring, around this time or a little later—blossom season—and we had one of those young college guys staying at the farm. Nice guy too, with his head in the clouds. I liked him quite a bit, and I never saw anything between them, but I think he caught the maid's attention.' The old man took the pipe out of his mouth, spat, and continued:"

“Yu see, 'e went away sudden one day, an' never come back. They got 'is knapsack and bits o' things down there still. That's what stuck in my mind—'is never sendin' for 'em. 'Is name was Ashes, or somethen' like that.”

“Yeah, you see, he left one day without a word and never returned. They still have his backpack and a few of his things down there. That's what really stuck with me—he never asked for them back. His name was Ashes, or something like that.”

“Yes?” said Ashurst once more.

"Yes?" Ashurst said again.

The old man licked his lips.

The old man wet his lips.

“'Er never said nothin', but from that day 'er went kind of dazed lukin'. didn'seem rightly therr at all. I never knu a'uman creature so changed in me life—never. There was another young feller at the farm—Joe Biddaford 'is name wer', that was praaperly sweet on 'er, tu; I guess 'e used to plague 'er wi 'is attentions. She got to luke quite wild. I'd zee her sometimes of an avenin' when I was bringin' up the calves; ther' she'd stand in th' orchard, under the big apple tree, lukin' straight before 'er. 'Well,' I used t'think, 'I dunno what 'tes that's the matter wi' yu, but yu'm lukin' pittiful, that yu be!'.rdquo;

“She never said anything, but from that day she looked kind of dazed. She didn’t seem really there at all. I’ve never known a human being to change so much in my life—never. There was another young guy on the farm—Joe Biddaford was his name—who was really into her too; I guess he used to bother her with his attention. She started to look quite wild. I’d see her sometimes in the evening when I was bringing up the calves; there she’d be standing in the orchard, under the big apple tree, staring straight ahead. Well, I used to think, I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but you look pitiful, that you do!”

The old man refit his pipe, and sucked at it reflectively.

The old man refilled his pipe and puffed on it thoughtfully.

“Yes?” said Ashurst.

"Yes?" Ashurst replied.

“I remembers one day I said to 'er: 'What's the matter, Megan?'—'er name was Megan David, she come from Wales same as 'er aunt, ol' Missis Narracombe. 'Yu'm frettin' about somethin'. I says. 'No, Jim,' she says, 'I'm not frettin'.' 'Yes, yu be!' I says. 'No,' she says, and to tears cam' rollin' out. 'Yu'm cryin'—what's that, then?' I says. She putts 'er 'and over 'er 'eart: 'It 'urts me,' she says; 'but 'twill sune be better,' she says. 'But if anything shude 'appen to me, Jim, I wants to be burried under this 'ere apple tree.' I laughed. 'What's goin' to 'appen to yu?' I says; 'don't 'ee be fulish.' 'No,' she says, 'I won't be fulish.' Well, I know what maids are, an' I never thought no more about et, till two days arter that, 'bout six in the avenin' I was comin' up wi' the calves, when I see somethin' dark lyin' in the strame, close to that big apple tree. I says to meself: 'Is that a pig-funny place for a pig to get to!' an' I goes up to et, an' I see what 'twas.”

“I remember one day I said to her, 'What's wrong, Megan?'—her name was Megan David, she came from Wales just like her aunt, old Mrs. Narracombe. 'You're worried about something,' I said. 'No, Jim,' she replied, 'I'm not worried.' 'Yes, you are!' I said. 'No,' she insisted, and then tears started rolling down her cheeks. 'You're crying—what's that about?' I asked. She put her hand over her heart: 'It hurts me,' she said; 'but it will soon be better,' she added. 'But if anything should happen to me, Jim, I want to be buried under this apple tree.' I laughed. 'What's going to happen to you?' I said; 'don't be silly.' 'No,' she said, 'I won't be silly.' Well, I know what girls are like, and I didn’t think much more about it until two days later, around six in the evening, I was coming back with the calves when I saw something dark lying in the stream, close to that big apple tree. I thought to myself, 'Is that a pig—what a funny place for a pig to end up!' and I walked over to it, and then I saw what it was.”

The old man stopped; his eyes, turned upward, had a bright, suffering look.

The old man stopped; his eyes, looking up, had a bright, painful expression.

“'Twas the maid, in a little narrer pool ther' that's made by the stoppin' of a rock—where I see the young gentleman bathin' once or twice. 'Er was lyin' on 'er face in the watter. There was a plant o' goldie-cups growin' out o' the stone just above 'er'ead. An' when I come to luke at 'er face, 'twas luvly, butiful, so calm's a baby's—wonderful butiful et was. When the doctor saw 'er, 'e said: 'Er culdn' never a-done it in that little bit o' watter ef' er 'adn't a-been in an extarsy.' Ah! an' judgin' from 'er face, that was just 'ow she was. Et made me cry praaper-butiful et was! 'Twas June then, but she'd afound a little bit of apple-blossom left over somewheres, and stuck et in 'er 'air. That's why I thinks 'er must abeen in an extarsy, to go to et gay, like that. Why! there wasn't more than a fute and 'arf o' watter. But I tell 'ee one thing—that meadder's 'arnted; I knu et, an' she knu et; an' no one'll persuade me as 'tesn't. I told 'em what she said to me 'bout bein' burried under th' apple tree. But I think that turned 'em—made et luke to much 's ef she'd 'ad it in 'er mind deliberate; an' so they burried 'er up 'ere. Parson we 'ad then was very particular, 'e was.”

“It was the maid, in a little narrow pool there that's created by the stopping of a rock—where I saw the young gentleman bathing once or twice. She was lying face down in the water. There was a bunch of buttercups growing out of the stone just above her head. And when I looked at her face, it was lovely, beautiful, as calm as a baby's—wonderfully beautiful it was. When the doctor saw her, he said: 'She couldn’t have done it in that little bit of water if she hadn’t been in ecstasy.' Ah! and judging by her face, that's exactly how she was. It made me teary—it was truly beautiful! It was June then, but she'd found a little bit of apple blossom left over somewhere and stuck it in her hair. That's why I think she must have been in ecstasy to go to it so gaily like that. Why! there wasn’t more than a foot and a half of water. But I tell you one thing—that maid’s heart was broken; I knew it, and she knew it; and no one will convince me otherwise. I told them what she said to me about being buried under the apple tree. But I think that changed their minds—it made it seem as if she'd had it in her mind deliberately; and so they buried her up here. The parson we had then was very particular, he was.”

Again the old man drew his hand over the turf.

Again, the old man ran his hand over the grass.

“'Tes wonderful, et seems,” he added slowly, “what maids 'll du for love. She 'ad a lovin-'.art; I guess 'twas broken. But us never knu nothin'.”

“It's wonderful, it seems,” he added slowly, “what girls will do for love. She had a loving heart; I guess it was broken. But we never knew anything.”

He looked up as if for approval of his story, but Ashurst had walked past him as if he were not there.

He looked up, expecting approval for his story, but Ashurst had walked by him as if he didn't exist.

Up on the top of the hill, beyond where he had spread the lunch, over, out of sight, he lay down on his face. So had his virtue been rewarded, and “the Cyprian,” goddess of love, taken her revenge! And before his eyes, dim with tears, came Megan's face with the sprig of apple blossom in her dark, wet hair. 'What did I do that was wrong?' he thought. 'What did I do?' But he could not answer. Spring, with its rush of passion, its flowers and song-the spring in his heart and Megan's! Was it just Love seeking a victim! The Greek was right, then—the words of the “Hippolytus” as true to-day!

Up on the top of the hill, beyond where he had laid out the lunch, out of sight, he lay down on his stomach. So had his virtue been rewarded, and “the Cyprian,” goddess of love, taken her revenge! And before his tear-filled eyes appeared Megan's face, with a sprig of apple blossom in her dark, wet hair. 'What did I do that was wrong?' he wondered. 'What did I do?' But he couldn’t find an answer. Spring, with its rush of passion, its flowers and songs—the spring in his heart and Megan's! Was it just Love looking for a victim? The Greek was right, then—the words of the “Hippolytus” are still true today!

    “For mad is the heart of Love,
     And gold the gleam of his wing;
     And all to the spell thereof
     Bend when he makes his spring.
     All life that is wild and young
     In mountain and wave and stream
     All that of earth is sprung,
     Or breathes in the red sunbeam;
     Yea, and Mankind.  O'er all a royal throne,
     Cyprian, Cyprian, is thine alone!”
 
“Because the heart of Love is crazy,  
And gold is the shine of his wing;  
And all under his spell  
Yield when he takes flight.  
All life that is wild and young  
In mountain, wave, and stream  
All that comes from the earth,  
Or breathes in the red sunlight;  
Yes, and humankind. Over all, a royal throne,  
Cyprian, Cyprian, belongs solely to you!”

The Greek was right! Megan! Poor little Megan—coming over the hill! Megan under the old apple tree waiting and looking! Megan dead, with beauty printed on her!

The Greek was right! Megan! Poor little Megan—coming over the hill! Megan under the old apple tree, waiting and looking! Megan dead, with beauty marked on her!

A voice said:

A voice spoke:

“Oh, there you are! Look!”

“Oh, there you are! Look!”

Ashurst rose, took his wife's sketch, and stared at it in silence.

Ashurst stood up, took his wife's sketch, and looked at it in silence.

“Is the foreground right, Frank?”

“Is the foreground correct, Frank?”

“Yes.”

"Yep."

“But there's something wanting, isn't there?”

"But something's missing, right?"

Ashurst nodded. Wanting? The apple tree, the singing, and the gold!

Ashurst nodded. Wanting? The apple tree, the singing, and the gold!

And solemnly he put his lips to her forehead. It was his silver-wedding day. 1916

And seriously, he pressed his lips to her forehead. It was their 25th wedding anniversary. 1916





THE JURYMAN

     “Don't you see, brother, I was reading yesterday the Gospel
     about Christ, the little Father; how He suffered, how He walked
     on the earth.  I suppose you have heard about it?”

     “Indeed, I have,” replied Stepanuitch; “but we are people in
     darkness; we can't read.”—TOLSTOI.
     “Don’t you see, brother, I was reading the Gospel about Christ, the little Father, yesterday; how He suffered, how He walked the earth. I suppose you’ve heard about it?”  

     “Indeed, I have,” replied Stepanuitch; “but we are people in darkness; we can’t read.” —TOLSTOI.

Mr. Henry Bosengate, of the London Stock Exchange, seated himself in his car that morning during the great war with a sense of injury. Major in a Volunteer Corps; member of all the local committees; lending this very car to the neighbouring hospital, at times even driving it himself for their benefit; subscribing to funds, so far as his diminished income permitted—he was conscious of being an asset to the country, and one whose time could not be wasted with impunity. To be summoned to sit on a jury at the local assizes, and not even the grand jury at that! It was in the nature of an outrage.

Mr. Henry Bosengate, from the London Stock Exchange, got into his car that morning during the great war feeling wronged. He was a Major in a Volunteer Corps, a member of all the local committees, and he often lent this very car to the nearby hospital, sometimes even driving it himself for their benefit. He donated to various funds, as much as his reduced income allowed—he saw himself as an asset to the country, someone whose time couldn’t be wasted without consequences. Being called to serve on a jury at the local assizes, and not even the grand jury! That felt like a total outrage.

Strong and upright, with hazel eyes and dark eyebrows, pinkish-brown cheeks, a forehead white, well-shaped, and getting high, with greyish hair glossy and well-brushed, and a trim moustache, he might have been taken for that colonel of Volunteers which indeed he was in a fair way of becoming.

Strong and upright, with hazel eyes and dark eyebrows, pinkish-brown cheeks, a well-shaped and high forehead, glossy grey hair that was neatly brushed, and a neatly trimmed mustache, he could easily be thought of as the colonel of Volunteers, which he was on track to become.

His wife had followed him out under the porch, and stood bracing her supple body clothed in lilac linen. Red rambler roses formed a sort of crown to her dark head; her ivory-coloured face had in it just a suggestion of the Japanese.

His wife had followed him out onto the porch and stood with her flexible body clad in lilac linen. Red rambler roses created a sort of crown on her dark hair; her ivory-colored face had a hint of Japanese features.

Mr. Bosengate spoke through the whirr of the engine:

Mr. Bosengate spoke over the sound of the engine:

“I don't expect to be late, dear. This business is ridiculous. There oughtn't to be any crime in these days.”

“I don't expect to be late, dear. This is ridiculous. There shouldn't be any crime these days.”

His wife—her name was Kathleen—smiled. She looked very pretty and cool, Mr. Bosengate thought. To him bound on this dull and stuffy business everything he owned seemed pleasant—the geranium beds beside the gravel drive, his long, red-brick house mellowing decorously in its creepers and ivy, the little clock-tower over stables now converted to a garage, the dovecote, masking at the other end the conservatory which adjoined the billiard-room. Close to the red-brick lodge his two children, Kate and Harry, ran out from under the acacia trees, and waved to him, scrambling bare-legged on to the low, red, ivy-covered wall which guarded his domain of eleven acres. Mr. Bosengate waved back, thinking: 'Jolly couple—by Jove, they are!' Above their heads, through the trees, he could see right away to some Downs, faint in the July heat haze. And he thought: 'Pretty a spot as one could have got, so close to Town!'

His wife—her name was Kathleen—smiled. She looked very pretty and cool, Mr. Bosengate thought. To him, stuck in this dull and stuffy business, everything he owned seemed nice—the geranium beds by the gravel driveway, his long red-brick house growing beautifully with its creepers and ivy, the little clock tower over the stables now turned into a garage, the dovecote hiding at the other end from the conservatory that connected to the billiard room. Close to the red-brick lodge, his two kids, Kate and Harry, ran out from under the acacia trees and waved to him, scrambling bare-legged onto the low red, ivy-covered wall that marked the boundary of his eleven-acre property. Mr. Bosengate waved back, thinking: 'What a lovely couple—by golly, they are!' Above their heads, through the trees, he could see out to the Downs, faint in the July heat haze. And he thought: 'What a pretty spot, so close to Town!'

Despite the war he had enjoyed these last two years more than any of the ten since he built “Charmleigh” and settled down to semi-rural domesticity with his young wife. There had been a certain piquancy, a savour added to existence, by the country's peril, and all the public service and sacrifice it demanded. His chauffeur was gone, and one gardener did the work of three. He enjoyed-positively enjoyed, his committee work; even the serious decline of business and increase of taxation had not much worried one continually conscious of the national crisis and his own part therein. The country had wanted waking up, wanted a lesson in effort and economy; and the feeling that he had not spared himself in these strenuous times, had given a zest to those quiet pleasures of bed and board which, at his age, even the most patriotic could retain with a good conscience. He had denied himself many things—new clothes, presents for Kathleen and the children, travel, and that pine-apple house which he had been on the point of building when the war broke out; new wine, too, and cigars, and membership of the two Clubs which he had never used in the old days. The hours had seemed fuller and longer, sleep better earned—wonderful, the things one could do without when put to it! He turned the car into the high road, driving dreamily for he was in plenty of time. The war was going pretty well now; he was no fool optimist, but now that conscription was in force, one might reasonably hope for its end within a year. Then there would be a boom, and one might let oneself go a little. Visions of theatres and supper with his wife at the Savoy afterwards, and cosy night drives back into the sweet-smelling country behind your own chauffeur once more teased a fancy which even now did not soar beyond the confines of domestic pleasures. He pictured his wife in new dresses by Jay—she was fifteen years younger than himself, and “paid for dressing” as they said. He had always delighted—as men older than their wives will—in the admiration she excited from others not privileged to enjoy her charms. Her rather queer and ironical beauty, her cool irreproachable wifeliness, was a constant balm to him. They would give dinner parties again, have their friends down from town, and he would once more enjoy sitting at the foot of the dinner table while Kathleen sat at the head, with the light soft on her ivory shoulders, behind flowers she had arranged in that original way of hers, and fruit which he had grown in his hot-houses; once more he would take legitimate interest in the wine he offered to his guests—once more stock that Chinese cabinet wherein he kept cigars. Yes—there was a certain satisfaction in these days of privation, if only from the anticipation they created.

Despite the war, he had enjoyed the last two years more than any of the ten since he built “Charmleigh” and settled into a semi-rural life with his young wife. There was a certain piquancy, a flavor added to life by the country’s peril, along with all the public service and sacrifice it demanded. His chauffeur was gone, and one gardener was doing the work of three. He enjoyed—actually enjoyed—his committee work; even the serious decline in business and rising taxes hadn't worried him too much, considering the national crisis and his role in it. The country needed a wake-up call, a lesson in effort and economy; the feeling that he hadn’t held back during these tough times gave a new zest to those simple pleasures of meals and rest that, at his age, even the most patriotic could enjoy with a clear conscience. He had denied himself many things—new clothes, gifts for Kathleen and the kids, traveling, and that pineapple house he was about to build when the war started; new wine too, and cigars, and membership in two clubs he’d never used in the past. The hours felt fuller and longer, and sleep felt better earned—amazing what one could do without when necessary! He turned the car onto the main road, driving somewhat dreamily because he had plenty of time. The war was going pretty well now; he wasn’t a naive optimist, but with conscription in place, it seemed reasonable to hope for an end within a year. Then there would be a boom, and he might allow himself some indulgence. Images of theaters and late-night dinners with his wife at the Savoy after, and cozy drives back into the fragrant countryside behind his chauffeur again stirred a daydream that, even now, didn't stray beyond the boundaries of home pleasures. He envisioned his wife in new dresses by Jay—she was fifteen years younger than him and “paid for dressing,” as they said. He had always delighted—as men older than their wives often do—in the admiration she drew from others who couldn't enjoy her charms. Her somewhat quirky and ironic beauty, her cool, perfect wifeliness, was a constant comfort to him. They would have dinner parties again, invite friends from the city, and he would once again enjoy sitting at the foot of the dinner table while Kathleen sat at the head, with the light softly illuminating her ivory shoulders, surrounded by flowers she had arranged in her unique style and fruits he had grown in his greenhouses; he would once again take a genuine interest in the wine he served to his guests—once more stock that Chinese cabinet where he kept cigars. Yes—there was a certain satisfaction in these days of deprivation, if only from the anticipation they created.

The sprinkling of villas had become continuous on either side of the high road; and women going out to shop, tradesmen's boys delivering victuals, young men in khaki, began to abound. Now and then a limping or bandaged form would pass—some bit of human wreckage; and Mr. Bosengate would think mechanically: 'Another of those poor devils! Wonder if we've had his case before us!'

The row of villas had grown nonstop on either side of the main road; women headed out to shop, delivery boys bringing groceries, and young men in khaki were everywhere. Occasionally, a limping or bandaged person would pass by—some form of human wreckage; and Mr. Bosengate would think without really meaning to: 'Another one of those poor souls! I wonder if we’ve seen his case before!'

Running his car into the best hotel garage of the little town, he made his way leisurely over to the court. It stood back from the market-place, and was already lapped by a sea of persons having, as in the outer ring at race meetings, an air of business at which one must not be caught out, together with a soaked or flushed appearance. Mr. Bosengate could not resist putting his handkerchief to his nose. He had carefully drenched it with lavender water, and to this fact owed, perhaps, his immunity from the post of foreman on the jury—for, say what you will about the English, they have a deep instinct for affairs.

Pulling his car into the best hotel garage in the small town, he casually made his way over to the courthouse. It was set back from the marketplace and was already surrounded by a crowd of people who, like the outer circle at a horse race, had a serious air about them, looking a bit damp or flushed. Mr. Bosengate couldn't help but dab at his nose with his handkerchief. He had soaked it in lavender water, which might be why he escaped being chosen as the jury foreman—because, no matter what you say about the English, they have a strong instinct for business.

He found himself second in the front row of the jury box, and through the odour of “Sanitas” gazed at the judge's face expressionless up there, for all the world like a bewigged bust. His fellows in the box had that appearance of falling between two classes characteristic of jurymen. Mr. Bosengate was not impressed. On one side of him the foreman sat, a prominent upholsterer, known in the town as “Gentleman Fox.” His dark and beautifully brushed and oiled hair and moustache, his radiant linen, gold watch and chain, the white piping to his waistcoat, and a habit of never saying “Sir” had long marked him out from commoner men; he undertook to bury people too, to save them trouble; and was altogether superior. On the other side Mr. Bosengate had one of those men, who, except when they sit on juries, are never seen without a little brown bag, and the appearance of having been interrupted in a drink. Pale and shiny, with large loose eyes shifting from side to side, he had an underdone voice and uneasy flabby hands. Mr. Bosengate disliked sitting next to him. Beyond this commercial traveller sat a dark pale young man with spectacles; beyond him again, a short old man with grey moustache, mutton chops, and innumerable wrinkles; and the front row was completed by a chemist. The three immediately behind, Mr. Bosengate did not thoroughly master; but the three at the end of the second row he learned in their order of an oldish man in a grey suit, given to winking; an inanimate person with the mouth of a moustachioed codfish, over whose long bald crown three wisps of damp hair were carefully arranged; and a dried, dapperish, clean-shorn man, whose mouth seemed terrified lest it should be surprised without a smile. Their first and second verdicts were recorded without the necessity for withdrawal, and Mr. Bosengate was already sleepy when the third case was called. The sight of khaki revived his drooping attention. But what a weedy-looking specimen! This prisoner had a truly nerveless pitiable dejected air. If he had ever had a military bearing it had shrunk into him during his confinement. His ill-shaped brown tunic, whose little brass buttons seemed trying to keep smiling, struck Mr. Bosengate as ridiculously short, used though he was to such things. 'Absurd,' he thought—'Lumbago! Just where they ought to be covered!' Then the officer and gentleman stirred in him, and he added to himself: 'Still, there must be some distinction made!' The little soldier's visage had once perhaps been tanned, but was now the colour of dark dough; his large brown eyes with white showing below the iris, as so often in the eyes of very nervous people—wandered from face to face, of judge, counsel, jury, and public. There were hollows in his cheeks, his dark hair looked damp; around his neck he wore a bandage. The commercial traveller on Mr. Bosengate's left turned, and whispered: “Felo de se! My hat! what a guy!” Mr. Bosengate pretended not to hear—he could not bear that fellow!—and slowly wrote on a bit of paper: “Owen Lewis.” Welsh! Well, he looked it—not at all an English face. Attempted suicide—not at all an English crime! Suicide implied surrender, a putting-up of hands to Fate—to say nothing of the religious aspect of the matter. And suicide in khaki seemed to Mr. Bosengate particularly abhorrent; like turning tail in face of the enemy; almost meriting the fate of a deserter. He looked at the prisoner, trying not to give way to this prejudice. And the prisoner seemed to look at him, though this, perhaps, was fancy.

He found himself second in the front row of the jury box, and through the smell of “Sanitas” stared at the judge's face, which was expressionless, similar to a bewigged statue. His fellow jurors had that vibe of being caught between two classes, typical of jury members. Mr. Bosengate was not impressed. Next to him sat the foreman, a well-known upholsterer in town called “Gentleman Fox.” His dark, impeccably styled and oiled hair and mustache, his pristine shirt, gold watch and chain, the white piping on his waistcoat, and his habit of never saying “Sir” had long set him apart from regular folks; he also handled funerals to spare others the effort and was altogether superior. On Mr. Bosengate's other side was one of those guys who, except when on juries, are never seen without a little brown bag and look like they've been interrupted during a drink. Pale and shiny, with large, loose eyes darting from side to side, he had a weak voice and clammy hands. Mr. Bosengate disliked sitting next to him. Beyond this commercial traveler sat a dark, pale young man with glasses; next to him was a short older man with a gray mustache, mutton chops, and countless wrinkles; and completing the front row was a chemist. The three right behind Mr. Bosengate were not ones he paid much attention to. However, he learned the three at the end of the second row in order: an older man in a gray suit who tended to wink; an expressionless person with a mustached mouth that resembled a fish, over whose long bald head three damp hair strands were meticulously arranged; and a dried, neat, clean-shaven man whose mouth appeared terrified it might be caught without a smile. Their first and second verdicts were recorded without the need for a break, and Mr. Bosengate was already dozing off when the third case was called. The sight of khaki revived his fading attention. But what a pathetic-looking specimen! This prisoner had a truly lifeless, miserable demeanor. If he had ever carried himself like a soldier, it had vanished during his confinement. His poorly-fitted brown tunic, with little brass buttons that seemed to struggle to keep smiling, struck Mr. Bosengate as absurdly short, despite his familiarity with such things. 'Ridiculous,' he thought—'Lumbago! Right where they ought to be covered!' Then the officer and gentleman in him stirred, and he added to himself: 'Still, some distinction must be made!' The little soldier’s face might have once been tanned but now resembled dark dough; his large brown eyes, with the whites showing below the iris as often happens with very nervous people, flitted from face to face—judge, counsel, jury, and public. There were hollows in his cheeks, his dark hair looked damp; he wore a bandage around his neck. The commercial traveler to Mr. Bosengate's left turned and whispered, “Felo de se! My hat! What a guy!” Mr. Bosengate pretended not to hear—he couldn’t stand that guy!—and slowly jotted down on a piece of paper: “Owen Lewis.” Welsh! Well, he definitely looked it—not at all an English face. Attempted suicide—not at all an English crime! Suicide suggested giving up, surrendering to Fate—not to mention the religious aspect of it. And suicide in khaki seemed particularly distasteful to Mr. Bosengate; like retreating in front of the enemy; nearly deserving the fate of a deserter. He looked at the prisoner, trying to suppress this bias. And the prisoner seemed to look back at him, though that might just have been his imagination.

The Counsel for the prosecution, a little, alert, grey, decided man, above military age, began detailing the circumstances of the crime. Mr. Bosengate, though not particularly sensitive to atmosphere, could perceive a sort of current running through the Court. It was as if jury and public were thinking rhythmically in obedience to the same unexpressed prejudice of which he himself was conscious. Even the Caesar-like pale face up there, presiding, seemed in its ironic serenity responding to that current.

The prosecutor, a small, sharp-minded, gray-haired man who was past military age, started explaining the details of the crime. Mr. Bosengate, while not particularly attuned to the atmosphere, could feel a kind of tension flowing through the courtroom. It was as if the jury and the public were all thinking in sync, guided by the same unspoken bias that he was aware of. Even the pale, Caesar-like face up at the front, presiding over the proceedings, appeared to be responding with its ironic calmness to that underlying tension.

“Gentlemen of the jury, before I call my evidence, I direct your attention to the bandage the accused is still wearing. He gave himself this wound with his Army razor, adding, if I may say so, insult to the injury he was inflicting on his country. He pleads not guilty; and before the magistrates he said that absence from his wife was preying on his mind”—the advocate's close lips widened—“Well, gentlemen, if such an excuse is to weigh with us in these days, I'm sure I don't know what's to happen to the Empire.”

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, before I present my evidence, I want you to notice the bandage the accused is still wearing. He inflicted this wound on himself with his Army razor, adding, if I may say, insult to the injury he was causing to his country. He claims he's not guilty; and before the magistrates, he said that being away from his wife was bothering him”—the advocate's tight lips relaxed—“Well, folks, if an excuse like that is going to influence us these days, I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen to the Empire.”

'No, by George!' thought Mr. Bosengate.

'No way, man!' thought Mr. Bosengate.

The evidence of the first witness, a room-mate who had caught the prisoner's hand, and of the sergeant, who had at once been summoned, was conclusive and he began to cherish a hope that they would get through without withdrawing, and he would be home before five. But then a hitch occurred. The regimental doctor failed to respond when his name was called; and the judge having for the first time that day showed himself capable of human emotion, intimated that he would adjourn until the morrow.

The testimony of the first witness, a roommate who had caught the prisoner's hand, along with that of the sergeant who had been called right away, was solid. He started to feel hopeful that they would finish without needing to step back, and he could be home before five. But then something went wrong. The regimental doctor didn’t answer when his name was called, and for the first time that day, the judge showed he could feel human emotion and suggested they would take a break until tomorrow.

Mr. Bosengate received the announcement with equanimity. He would be home even earlier! And gathering up the sheets of paper he had scribbled on, he put them in his pocket and got up. The would-be suicide was being taken out of the court—a shambling drab figure with shoulders hunched. What good were men like that in these days! What good! The prisoner looked up. Mr. Bosengate encountered in full the gaze of those large brown eyes, with the white showing underneath. What a suffering, wretched, pitiful face! A man had no business to give you a look like that! The prisoner passed on down the stairs, and vanished. Mr. Bosengate went out and across the market place to the garage of the hotel where he had left his car. The sun shone fiercely and he thought: 'I must do some watering in the garden.' He brought the car out, and was about to start the engine, when someone passing said: “Good evenin'. Seedy-lookin' beggar that last prisoner, ain't he? We don't want men of that stamp.” It was his neighbour on the jury, the commercial traveller, in a straw hat, with a little brown bag already in his hand and the froth of an interrupted drink on his moustache. Answering curtly: “Good evening!” and thinking: 'Nor of yours, my friend!' Mr. Bosengate started the car with unnecessary clamour. But as if brought back to life by the commercial traveller's remark, the prisoner's figure seemed to speed along too, turning up at Mr. Bosengate his pitifully unhappy eyes. Want of his wife!—queer excuse that for trying to put it out of his power ever to see her again! Why! Half a loaf, even a slice, was better than no bread. Not many of that neurotic type in the Army—thank Heaven! The lugubrious figure vanished, and Mr. Bosengate pictured instead the form of his own wife bending over her “Gloire de Dijon roses” in the rosery, where she generally worked a little before tea now that they were short of gardeners. He saw her, as often he had seen her, raise herself and stand, head to one side, a gloved hand on her slender hip, gazing as it were ironically from under drooped lids at buds which did not come out fast enough. And the word 'Caline,' for he was something of a French scholar, shot through his mind: 'Kathleen—Caline!' If he found her there when he got in, he would steal up on the grass and—ah! but with great care not to crease her dress or disturb her hair! 'If only she weren't quite so self-contained,' he thought; 'It's like a cat you can't get near, not really near!'

Mr. Bosengate received the announcement calmly. He would be home even earlier! Gathering the sheets of paper he had written on, he shoved them in his pocket and got up. The would-be suicide was being led out of the court—a slouching, drab figure with hunched shoulders. What good were men like that these days! What good! The prisoner looked up. Mr. Bosengate locked eyes with those large brown irises, the whites glistening beneath. What a suffering, miserable, pitiful face! A man shouldn’t give you a look like that! The prisoner continued down the stairs and disappeared. Mr. Bosengate walked out and across the market square to the hotel garage where he had parked his car. The sun blazed fiercely, and he thought, 'I need to water the garden.' He brought the car out and was about to start the engine when someone passing by said, “Good evening. That last prisoner looked like a real beggar, didn't he? We don’t need guys like that.” It was his neighbor on the jury, a salesman in a straw hat, with a small brown bag already in his hand and froth from an interrupted drink on his mustache. Responding curtly, “Good evening!” and thinking, 'Nor do we need yours, my friend!' Mr. Bosengate started the car with unnecessary noise. But as if awakened by the salesman’s comment, the image of the prisoner seemed to flash in his mind again, showing Mr. Bosengate those painfully sad eyes. Missing his wife!—an odd excuse for wanting to ensure he could never see her again! After all, half a loaf, or even a slice, is better than nothing. Thank heavens there weren’t many of that neurotic type in the Army! The gloomy figure disappeared, and Mr. Bosengate instead pictured his own wife bending over her “Gloire de Dijon roses” in the rose garden, where she usually worked a bit before tea now that they were short on gardeners. He saw her, as he often had, stand up, her head tilted to one side, a gloved hand resting on her slender hip, gazing ironically from under drooping lids at buds that weren’t blooming quickly enough. The word 'Caline' flashed through his mind, for he knew a bit of French: 'Kathleen—Caline!' If he found her there when he got home, he would sneak up on the grass and—ah! But he would be very careful not to crease her dress or mess up her hair! 'If only she weren’t so self-contained,' he thought; 'It’s like a cat you can’t get close to, not really close!'

The car, returning faster than it had come down that morning, had already passed the outskirt villas, and was breasting the hill to where, among fields and the old trees, Charmleigh lay apart from commoner life. Turning into his drive, Mr. Bosengate thought with a certain surprise: 'I wonder what she does think of! I wonder!' He put his gloves and hat down in the outer hall and went into the lavatory, to dip his face in cool water and wash it with sweet-smelling soap—delicious revenge on the unclean atmosphere in which he had been stewing so many hours. He came out again into the hall dazed by soap and the mellowed light, and a voice from half-way up the stairs said: “Daddy! Look!” His little daughter was standing up there with one hand on the banisters. She scrambled on to them and came sliding down, her frock up to her eyes, and her holland knickers to her middle. Mr. Bosengate said mildly:

The car sped back faster than it had come down that morning, already passing the villas on the outskirts and climbing the hill where, among the fields and old trees, Charmleigh stood apart from everyday life. As he turned into his driveway, Mr. Bosengate thought with some surprise, "I wonder what she's thinking about! I wonder!" He set down his gloves and hat in the outer hall and went into the bathroom to splash his face with cool water and wash it with fragrant soap—such a sweet relief from the unpleasant atmosphere he had been in for so many hours. He stepped back into the hall, feeling refreshed by the soap and the warm light, when a voice from halfway up the stairs called out, “Daddy! Look!” His little daughter was standing there with one hand on the banister. She climbed onto it and slid down, her dress hiked up to her eyes, and her cotton underwear exposed. Mr. Bosengate said gently:

“Well, that's elegant!”

"Wow, that's classy!"

“Tea's in the summer-house. Mummy's waiting. Come on!”

“Tea's in the summer house. Mom's waiting. Let's go!”

With her hand in his, Mr. Bosengate went on, through the drawing-room, long and cool, with sun-blinds down, through the billiard-room, high and cool, through the conservatory, green and sweet-smelling, out on to the terrace and the upper lawn. He had never felt such sheer exhilarated joy in his home surroundings, so cool, glistening and green under the July sun; and he said:

With her hand in his, Mr. Bosengate continued through the long, cool drawing-room, with the sun blinds down, through the high, cool billiard room, through the green, sweet-smelling conservatory, and out onto the terrace and upper lawn. He had never experienced such pure, exhilarating joy in his home surroundings, which were so cool, glistening, and green under the July sun; and he said:

“Well, Kit, what have you all been doing?”

“Well, Kit, what have you all been up to?”

“I've fed my rabbits and Harry's; and we've been in the attic; Harry got his leg through the skylight.”

“I've fed my rabbits and Harry's too; and we went up to the attic; Harry got his leg stuck in the skylight.”

Mr. Bosengate drew in his breath with a hiss.

Mr. Bosengate took a sharp breath.

“It's all right, Daddy; we got it out again, it's only grazed the skin. And we've been making swabs—I made seventeen, Mummy made thirty-three, and then she went to the hospital. Did you put many men in prison?”

“It's okay, Dad; we got it out again, it just grazed the skin. And we've been making swabs—I made seventeen, Mom made thirty-three, and then she went to the hospital. Did you put a lot of guys in prison?”

Mr. Bosengate cleared his throat. The question seemed to him untimely.

Mr. Bosengate cleared his throat. The question felt out of place to him.

“Only two.”

"Just two."

“What's it like in prison, Daddy?”

“What's it like in prison, Dad?”

Mr. Bosengate, who had no more knowledge than his little daughter, replied in an absent voice:

Mr. Bosengate, who knew just as much as his young daughter, replied in a distracted tone:

“Not very nice.”

"Not so nice."

They were passing under a young oak tree, where the path wound round to the rosery and summer-house. Something shot down and clawed Mr. Bosengate's neck. His little daughter began to hop and suffocate with laughter.

They were walking under a young oak tree, where the path curved toward the rose garden and summer house. Something swooped down and scratched Mr. Bosengate's neck. His little daughter started to hop around and burst into laughter.

“Oh, Daddy! Aren't you caught! I led you on purpose!”

“Oh, Dad! Aren't you in trouble! I did that on purpose!”

Looking up, Mr. Bosengate saw his small son lying along a low branch above him—like the leopard he was declaring himself to be (for fear of error), and thought blithely: 'What an active little chap it is!' “Let me drop on your shoulders, Daddy—like they do on the deer.”

Looking up, Mr. Bosengate saw his little son lying across a low branch above him—like the leopard he was claiming to be (just to be safe)—and thought happily: 'What an active little guy he is!' “Let me jump onto your shoulders, Dad—like they do on the deer.”

“Oh, yes! Do be a deer, Daddy!”

“Oh, yes! Please be a dear, Dad!”

Mr. Bosengate did not see being a deer; his hair had just been brushed. But he entered the rosery buoyantly between his offspring. His wife was standing precisely as he had imagined her, in a pale blue frock open at the neck, with a narrow black band round the waist, and little accordion pleats below. She looked her coolest. Her smile, when she turned her head, hardly seemed to take Mr. Bosengate seriously enough. He placed his lips below one of her half-drooped eyelids. She even smelled of roses. His children began to dance round their mother, and Mr. Bosengate,—firmly held between them, was also compelled to do this, until she said:

Mr. Bosengate didn’t feel like a deer; he had just styled his hair. But he walked into the garden happily, flanked by his kids. His wife stood just as he had pictured her, in a light blue dress with a neckline that was a bit open, a slim black belt at her waist, and small pleats at the bottom. She looked stunning. When she turned her head, her smile seemed almost too casual for Mr. Bosengate. He leaned in and kissed under one of her slightly drooping eyelids. She even smelled like roses. His kids started to dance around their mom, and Mr. Bosengate—firmly squeezed between them—had to join in until she said:

“When you've quite done, let's have tea!”

“When you’re finished, let’s have some tea!”

It was not the greeting he had imagined coming along in the car. Earwigs were plentiful in the summer-house—used perhaps twice a year, but indispensable to every country residence—and Mr. Bosengate was not sorry for the excuse to get out again. Though all was so pleasant, he felt oddly restless, rather suffocated; and lighting his pipe, began to move about among the roses, blowing tobacco at the greenfly; in war-time one was never quite idle! And suddenly he said:

It was not the welcome he had pictured while driving in the car. Earwigs were everywhere in the summer house—used maybe twice a year, but essential for any country home—and Mr. Bosengate was glad for the excuse to get outside again. Even though everything was so nice, he felt strangely restless and a bit stifled; so, lighting his pipe, he started to wander among the roses, puffing smoke at the greenflies; during wartime, you were never really idle! And then he suddenly said:

“We're trying a wretched Tommy at the assizes.”

“We're putting a miserable Tommy on trial at the courthouse.”

His wife looked up from a rose.

His wife looked up from a rose.

“What for?”

"Why?"

“Attempted suicide.”

“Suicide attempt.”

“Why did he?”

“Why did he do that?”

“Can't stand the separation from his wife.”

“Can't stand being away from his wife.”

She looked at him, gave a low laugh, and said:

She looked at him, let out a soft laugh, and said:

“Oh dear!”

"Oh no!"

Mr. Bosengate was puzzled. Why did she laugh? He looked round, saw that the children were gone, took his pipe from his mouth, and approached her.

Mr. Bosengate was confused. Why was she laughing? He looked around, noticed that the kids were gone, took his pipe out of his mouth, and walked over to her.

“You look very pretty,” he said. “Give me a kiss!”

“You look really pretty,” he said. “Give me a kiss!”

His wife bent her body forward from the waist, and pushed her lips out till they touched his moustache. Mr. Bosengate felt a sensation as if he had arisen from breakfast, without having eaten marmalade. He mastered it, and said:

His wife leaned forward at the waist and puckered her lips until they brushed against his mustache. Mr. Bosengate felt a sensation as if he had gotten up from breakfast without having eaten any marmalade. He composed himself and said:

“That jury are a rum lot.”

“That jury is a strange bunch.”

His wife's eyelids flickered. “I wish women sat on juries.”

His wife's eyelids fluttered. “I wish women would serve on juries.”

“Why?”

"Why?"

“It would be an experience.”

“It'll be an experience.”

Not the first time she had used that curious expression! Yet her life was far from dull, so far as he could see; with the new interests created by the war, and the constant calls on her time made by the perfection of their home life, she had a useful and busy existence. Again the random thought passed through him: 'But she never tells me anything!' And suddenly that lugubrious khaki-clad figure started up among the rose bushes. “We've got a lot to be thankful for!” he said abruptly. “I must go to work!” His wife, raising one eyebrow, smiled. “And I to weep!” Mr. Bosengate laughed—she had a pretty wit! And stroking his comely moustache where it had been kissed, he moved out into the sunshine. All the evening, throughout his labours, not inconsiderable, for this jury business had put him behind time, he was afflicted by that restless pleasure in his surroundings; would break off in mowing the lower lawn to look at the house through the trees; would leave his study and committee papers, to cross into the drawing-room and sniff its dainty fragrance; paid a special good-night visit to the children having supper in the schoolroom; pottered in and out from his dressing room to admire his wife while she was changing for dinner; dined with his mind perpetually on the next course; talked volubly of the war; and in the billiard room afterwards, smoking the pipe which had taken the place of his cigar, could not keep still, but roamed about, now in conservatory, now in the drawing-room, where his wife and the governess were still making swabs. It seemed to him that he could not have enough of anything. About eleven o'clock he strolled out beautiful night, only just dark enough—under the new arrangement with Time—and went down to the little round fountain below the terrace. His wife was playing the piano. Mr. Bosengate looked at the water and the flat dark water lily leaves which floated there; looked up at the house, where only narrow chinks of light showed, because of the Lighting Order. The dreamy music drifted out; there was a scent of heliotrope. He moved a few steps back, and sat in the children's swing under an old lime tree. Jolly—blissful—in the warm, bloomy dark! Of all hours of the day, this before going to bed was perhaps the pleasantest. He saw the light go up in his wife's bed room, unscreened for a full minute, and thought: 'Aha! If I did my duty as a special, I should “strafe” her for that.' She came to the window, her figure lighted, hands up to the back of her head, so that her bare arms gleamed. Mr. Bosengate wafted her a kiss, knowing he could not be seen. 'Lucky chap!' he mused; 'she's a great joy!' Up went her arm, down came the blind the house was dark again. He drew a long breath. 'Another ten minutes,' he thought, 'then I'll go in and shut up. By Jove! The limes are beginning to smell already!' And, the better to take in that acme of his well-being, he tilted the swing, lifted his feet from the ground, and swung himself toward the scented blossoms. He wanted to whelm his senses in their perfume, and closed his eyes. But instead of the domestic vision he expected, the face of the little Welsh soldier, hare-eyed, shadowy, pinched and dark and pitiful, started up with such disturbing vividness that he opened his eyes again at once. Curse! The fellow almost haunted one! Where would he be now poor little devil!—lying in his cell, thinking—thinking of his wife! Feeling suddenly morbid, Mr. Bosengate arrested the swing and stood up. Absurd!—all his well-being and mood of warm anticipation had deserted him! 'A d—-d world!' he thought. 'Such a lot of misery! Why should I have to sit in judgment on that poor beggar, and condemn him?' He moved up on to the terrace and walked briskly, to rid himself of this disturbance before going in. 'That commercial traveller chap,' he thought, 'the rest of those fellows—they see nothing!' And, abruptly turning up the three stone steps, he entered the conservatory, locked it, passed into the billiard room, and drank his barley water. One of the pictures was hanging crooked; he went up to put it straight. Still life. Grapes and apples, and—lobsters! They struck him as odd for the first time. Why lobsters? The whole picture seemed dead and oily. He turned off the light, and went upstairs, passed his wife's door, into his own room, and undressed. Clothed in his pyjamas he opened the door between the rooms. By the light coming from his own he could see her dark head on the pillow. Was she asleep? No—not asleep, certainly. The moment of fruition had come; the crowning of his pride and pleasure in his home. But he continued to stand there. He had suddenly no pride, no pleasure, no desire; nothing but a sort of dull resentment against everything. He turned back; shut the door, and slipping between the heavy curtains and his open window, stood looking out at the night. 'Full of misery!' he thought. 'Full of d—-d misery!'

Not the first time she had used that strange expression! Yet her life was anything but boring, as far as he could tell; with the new interests sparked by the war and the constant demands of their perfect home life, she was living a busy and meaningful life. Again, a random thought crossed his mind: 'But she never shares anything with me!' And suddenly that gloomy figure in khaki jumped up among the rose bushes. “We have a lot to be grateful for!” he said abruptly. “I’ve got to get to work!” His wife raised an eyebrow and smiled. “And I have to cry!” Mr. Bosengate laughed—she had a lovely sense of humor! And, adjusting his charming mustache, where she had kissed him, he stepped out into the sunshine. All evening, amidst his considerable work, which had fallen behind because of the jury business, he was plagued by a restless appreciation of his surroundings; he’d stop mowing the lower lawn to admire the house through the trees; he’d leave his study and committee papers to wander into the drawing room, inhaling its delicate fragrance; made a special good-night visit to the kids having supper in the schoolroom; popped in and out of the dressing room to admire his wife while she changed for dinner; dined with his mind always on the next course; talked continuously about the war; and afterward in the billiard room, smoking the pipe that had replaced his cigar, he couldn't sit still, roaming around, now in the conservatory, now in the drawing room, where his wife and the governess were still tidying up. It seemed to him that he could never have enough of anything. Around eleven o'clock, he strolled out into the beautiful night, just dark enough—under the new arrangement with Time—and headed down to the little round fountain below the terrace. His wife was playing the piano. Mr. Bosengate looked at the water and the broad dark lily pads floating there; looked up at the house, where only narrow slits of light showed, thanks to the Lighting Order. The dreamy music drifted out; there was a scent of heliotrope. He took a few steps back and sat in the children's swing under an old lime tree. Joyful—blissful—in the warm, fragrant darkness! Of all the times of day, this pre-bedtime moment was perhaps the most pleasant. He saw the light come on in his wife's bedroom, fully visible for a minute, and thought: 'Aha! If I did my duty as a special, I should “strafe” her for that.' She came to the window, her figure illuminated, hands behind her head, making her bare arms shine. Mr. Bosengate blew her a kiss, knowing she couldn't see him. 'Lucky guy!' he thought; 'she’s a great joy!' Up went her arm, down came the blind, and the house was dark again. He took a deep breath. 'Another ten minutes,' he thought, 'then I’ll go in and shut everything up. By Jove! The limes are starting to smell already!' And, to better enjoy this peak of well-being, he tilted the swing, lifted his feet from the ground, and swung himself toward the fragrant blossoms. He wanted to drown himself in their perfume and closed his eyes. But instead of the cozy vision he expected, the face of the little Welsh soldier, with haunting, shadowy, hollow eyes, looking pinched and dark and pitiful, sprang up with such striking vividness that he opened his eyes immediately. Damn! The guy almost haunted him! Where would that poor little devil be now?—lying in his cell, thinking—thinking of his wife! Feeling suddenly down, Mr. Bosengate stopped the swing and stood up. Absurd!—all his happiness and mood of warm anticipation had left him! 'A damned world!' he thought. 'So much misery! Why should I have to judge that poor soul and condemn him?' He moved onto the terrace and walked briskly to shake off this disturbance before going inside. 'That commercial traveler guy,' he thought, 'the rest of those fellows—they see nothing!' And, abruptly turning up the three stone steps, he entered the conservatory, locked it, passed into the billiard room, and drank his barley water. One of the pictures was hanging crooked; he went over to straighten it. Still life. Grapes and apples, and—lobsters! He found that odd for the first time. Why lobsters? The whole painting seemed dead and greasy. He turned off the light and went upstairs, passed his wife's door, entered his own room, and undressed. Wearing his pajamas, he opened the door between the rooms. By the light from his own, he could see her dark head on the pillow. Was she asleep? No—not asleep, definitely. The moment of fulfillment had come; the peak of his pride and pleasure in his home. But he stood there, suddenly devoid of pride, pleasure, or desire; nothing but a dull resentment toward everything. He turned back, shut the door, and slipped between the heavy curtains and his open window, looking out at the night. 'Full of misery!' he thought. 'Full of damned misery!'





II

Filing into the jury box next morning, Mr. Bosengate collided slightly with a short juryman, whose square figure and square head of stiff yellow-red hair he had only vaguely noticed the day before. The man looked angry, and Mr. Bosengate thought: 'An ill-bred dog, that!'

Filing into the jury box the next morning, Mr. Bosengate bumped lightly into a short juror, whose stocky build and square head of stiff yellow-red hair he had only vaguely noticed the day before. The man looked furious, and Mr. Bosengate thought: 'What a rude guy!'

He sat down quickly, and, to avoid further recognition of his fellows, gazed in front of him. His appearance on Saturdays was always military, by reason of the route march of his Volunteer Corps in the afternoon. Gentleman Fox, who belonged to the corps too, was also looking square; but that commercial traveller on his other side seemed more louche, and as if surprised in immorality, than ever; only the proximity of Gentleman Fox on the other side kept Mr. Bosengate from shrinking. Then he saw the prisoner being brought in, shadowy and dark behind the brightness of his buttons, and he experienced a sort of shock, this figure was so exactly that which had several times started up in his mind. Somehow he had expected a fresh sight of the fellow to dispel and disprove what had been haunting him, had expected to find him just an outside phenomenon, not, as it were, a part of his own life. And he gazed at the carven immobility of the judge's face, trying to steady himself, as a drunken man will, by looking at a light. The regimental doctor, unabashed by the judge's comment on his absence the day before, gave his evidence like a man who had better things to do, and the case for the prosecution was forthwith rounded in by a little speech from counsel. The matter—he said—was clear as daylight. Those who wore His Majesty's uniform, charged with the responsibility and privilege of defending their country, were no more entitled to desert their regiments by taking their own lives than they were entitled to desert in any other way. He asked for a conviction. Mr. Bosengate felt a sympathetic shuffle passing through all feet; the judge was speaking:

He quickly sat down and, to avoid being recognized by his peers, stared straight ahead. He always looked military on Saturdays because of the Volunteer Corps route march in the afternoon. Gentleman Fox, who was also part of the corps, appeared serious, but the commercial traveler next to him seemed even more disreputable, as if caught in some scandalous act. Only the presence of Gentleman Fox on the other side kept Mr. Bosengate from feeling uncomfortable. Then he saw the prisoner being brought in, a shadowy figure overshadowed by the brightness of his buttons, and he felt a jolt—this figure was exactly what had appeared in his thoughts multiple times. Somehow, he had expected that seeing the man again would clear away the haunting thoughts, anticipating that he would seem like an outsider, not a part of his own life. He stared at the judge's carved, immobile face, trying to steady himself like a drunk looking at a light. The regimental doctor, unfazed by the judge’s remark about his absence the previous day, gave his testimony as if he had better things to do. The prosecution’s case was quickly wrapped up with a brief speech from counsel. He stated that the matter was as clear as day. Those who wore His Majesty's uniform, given the responsibility and privilege of defending their country, were just as obligated not to abandon their regiments by taking their own lives as they were not to desert in any other way. He called for a conviction. Mr. Bosengate sensed a sympathetic shuffle among all the feet; the judge began to speak:

“Prisoner, you can either go into the witness box and make your statement on oath, in which case you may be cross-examined on it; or you can make your statement there from the dock, in which case you will not be cross-examined. Which do you elect to do?”

“Prisoner, you can either go to the witness stand and give your statement under oath, in which case you may be questioned about it; or you can give your statement from the dock, in which case you won’t be questioned. What do you choose to do?”

“From here, my lord.”

"Right here, my lord."

Seeing him now full face, and, as it might be, come to life in the effort to convey his feelings, Mr. Bosengate had suddenly a quite different impression of the fellow. It was as if his khaki had fallen off, and he had stepped out of his own shadow, a live and quivering creature. His pinched clean-shaven face seemed to have an irregular, wilder, hairier look, his large nervous brown eyes darkened and glowed; he jerked his shoulders, his arms, his whole body, like a man suddenly freed from cramp or a suit of armour.

Seeing him face-to-face now, as if he had come to life in his effort to express his feelings, Mr. Bosengate suddenly saw the guy in a totally different light. It was like his khaki had fallen away, and he had stepped out of his own shadow, a living, trembling being. His tight, clean-shaven face appeared more irregular, wilder, and hairier; his large, anxious brown eyes darkened and sparkled. He twitched his shoulders, arms, his entire body, like someone who had just been freed from cramps or a suit of armor.

He spoke, too, in a quick, crisp, rather high voice, pinching his consonants a little, sharpening his vowels, like a true Welshman.

He spoke quickly and clearly in a somewhat high-pitched voice, pinching his consonants a bit and sharpening his vowels, like a true Welshman.

“My lord and misters the jury,” he said: “I was a hairdresser when the call came on me to join the army. I had a little home and a wife. I never thought what it would be like to be away from them, I surely never did; and I'm ashamed to be speaking it out like this—how it can squeeze and squeeze a man, how it can prey on your mind, when you're nervous like I am. 'Tis not everyone that cares for his home—there's lots o' them never wants to see their wives again. But for me 'tis like being shut up in a cage, it is!” Mr. Bosengate saw daylight between the skinny fingers of the man's hand thrown out with a jerk. “I cannot bear it shut up away from wife and home like what you are in the army. So when I took my razor that morning I was wild—an' I wouldn't be here now but for that man catching my hand. There was no reason in it, I'm willing to confess. It was foolish; but wait till you get feeling like what I was, and see how it draws you. Misters the jury, don't send me back to prison; it is worse still there. If you have wives you will know what it is like for lots of us; only some is more nervous than others. I swear to you, sirs, I could not help it—-?” Again the little man flung out his hand, his whole thin body shook and Mr. Bosengate felt the same sensation as when he drove his car over a dog—“Misters the jury, I hope you may never in your lives feel as I've been feeling.”

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,” he said, “I was a hairdresser when I got called to join the army. I had a small home and a wife. I never thought about what it would be like to be away from them; I truly didn’t. And I’m embarrassed to admit it—how it can really get to a person, how it can mess with your mind when you’re as nervous as I am. Not everyone cares about their home—there are plenty of people who never want to see their wives again. But for me, it feels like being locked in a cage, it does!” Mr. Bosengate noticed the space between the man’s bony fingers as he jerked them out. “I can’t stand being shut away from my wife and home like you are in the army. So when I took my razor that morning, I was out of my mind—and I wouldn’t be here now if that man hadn’t caught my hand. There was no reasoning behind it, I’ll admit. It was foolish; but just wait until you feel what I was feeling, and see how it pulls at you. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, don’t send me back to prison; it’s even worse there. If you have wives, you’ll understand what it’s like for many of us; some just get more nervous than others. I swear to you, sirs, I couldn’t help it—?” Again, the little man thrust out his hand, his entire frail body shook and Mr. Bosengate felt the same sensation as when he ran over a dog with his car—“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I hope you never feel as I’ve been feeling.”

The little man ceased, his eyes shrank back into their sockets, his figure back into its mask of shadowy brown and gleaming buttons, and Mr. Bosengate was conscious that the judge was making a series of remarks; and, very soon, of being seated at a mahogany table in the jury's withdrawing room, hearing the voice of the man with hair like an Irish terrier's saying: “Didn't he talk through his hat, that little blighter!” Conscious, too, of the commercial traveller, still on his left—always on his left!—mopping his brow, and muttering: “Phew! It's hot in there to-day!” while an effluvium, as of an inside accustomed to whisky came from him. Then the man with the underlip and the three plastered wisps of hair said:

The little man stopped, his eyes receded into their sockets, his figure blending back into its shadowy brown mask and shiny buttons. Mr. Bosengate realized that the judge was making a series of comments, and soon found himself seated at a mahogany table in the jury's deliberation room, hearing the voice of the man with hair like an Irish terrier say, “Wasn’t he just talking nonsense, that little guy?” He was also aware of the traveling salesman to his left—always to his left!—wiping his brow and mumbling, “Wow! It’s hot in there today!” while a smell, reminiscent of someone who regularly drinks whisky, wafted from him. Then the man with the jutting underlip and three plastered tufts of hair said:

“Don't know why we withdrew, Mr. Foreman!”

“Not sure why we pulled back, Mr. Foreman!”

Mr. Bosengate looked round to where, at the head of the table, Gentleman Fox sat, in defensive gentility and the little white piping to his waistcoat saying blandly:

Mr. Bosengate looked around to where, at the head of the table, Gentleman Fox sat, exuding a defensive formality, with the little white piping on his waistcoat indicating a bland demeanor:

“I shall be happy to take the sense of the jury.”

“I'll be happy to gather the jury's opinion.”

There was a short silence, then the chemist murmured:

There was a brief pause, then the chemist softly said:

“I should say he must have what they call claustrophobia.”

“I have to say he must have what they call claustrophobia.”

“Clauster fiddlesticks! The feller's a shirker, that's all. Missed his wife—pretty excuse! Indecent, I call it!”

“That's nonsense! The guy's just avoiding responsibility, that's all. He missed his wife—what a weak excuse! I find it unacceptable!”

The speaker was the little wire-haired man; and emotion, deep and angry, stirred in Mr. Bosengate. That ill-bred little cur! He gripped the edge of the table with both hands.

The speaker was the short, wiry man; and a strong, angry emotion welled up in Mr. Bosengate. That rude little jerk! He gripped the edge of the table with both hands.

“I think it's d——-d natural!” he muttered. But almost before the words had left his lips he felt dismay. What had he said—he, nearly a colonel of volunteers—endorsing such a want of patriotism! And hearing the commercial traveller murmuring: “'Ear, 'ear!” he reddened violently.

“I think it’s damn natural!” he muttered. But almost as soon as the words left his lips, he felt dismay. What had he said—he, almost a colonel of volunteers—endorsing such a lack of patriotism! And hearing the traveling salesman mumbling, “Hear, hear!” he turned bright red.

The wire-headed man said roughly:

The wire-headed guy said roughly:

“There's too many of these blighted shirkers, and too much pampering of them.”

“There's too many of these lazy slackers, and too much coddling of them.”

The turmoil in Mr. Bosengate increased; he remarked in an icy voice:

The chaos in Mr. Bosengate intensified; he said in a cold voice:

“I agree to no verdict that'll send the man back to prison.”

“I won’t agree to any decision that puts the man back in prison.”

At this a real tremor seemed to go round the table, as if they all saw themselves sitting there through lunch time. Then the large grey-haired man given to winking, said:

At this, a genuine tremor seemed to pass around the table, as if they all imagined themselves sitting there during lunch. Then the tall gray-haired man who had a habit of winking said:

“Oh! Come, sir—after what the judge said! Come, sir! What do you say, Mr. Foreman?”

“Oh! Come on, sir—after what the judge said! Come on, sir! What do you think, Mr. Foreman?”

Gentleman Fox—as who should say 'This is excellent value, but I don't wish to press it on you!'—answered:

Gentleman Fox—who might say, 'This is a great deal, but I don't want to force it on you!'—replied:

“We are only concerned with the facts. Did he or did he not try to shorten his life?”

“We are only focused on the facts. Did he or did he not try to end his life?”

“Of course he did—said so himself,” Mr. Bosengate heard the wire-haired man snap out, and from the following murmur of assent he alone abstained. Guilty! Well—yes! There was no way out of admitting that, but his feelings revolted against handing “that poor little beggar” over to the tender mercy of his country's law. His whole soul rose in arms against agreeing with that ill-bred little cur, and the rest of this job-lot. He had an impulse to get up and walk out, saying: “Settle it your own way. Good morning.”

“Of course he did—said so himself,” Mr. Bosengate heard the wiry man snap, and from the following murmur of agreement, he was the only one who held back. Guilty! Well—yes! There was no denying that, but his feelings rebelled against handing “that poor little beggar” over to the harshness of his country’s law. His whole being rose up against agreeing with that rude little cur and the rest of this bunch. He felt an urge to stand up and walk out, saying: “Handle it your way. Good morning.”

“It seems, sir,” Gentleman Fox was saying, “that we're all agreed to guilty, except yourself. If you will allow me, I don't see how you can go behind what the prisoner himself admitted.”

“It seems, sir,” Gentleman Fox was saying, “that we're all agreed on guilt, except for you. If you’ll let me say so, I don’t understand how you can contradict what the prisoner himself confessed.”

Thus brought up to the very guns, Mr. Bosengate, red in the face, thrust his hands deep into the side pockets of his tunic, and, staring straight before him, said:

Thus brought up to the very guns, Mr. Bosengate, red in the face, thrust his hands deep into the side pockets of his tunic, and, staring straight ahead, said:

“Very well; on condition we recommend him to mercy.”

“Okay; on the condition that we suggest he receives mercy.”

“What do you say, gentlemen; shall we recommend him to mercy?”

“What do you think, guys; should we suggest he get some mercy?”

“'Ear, 'ear!” burst from the commercial traveller, and from the chemist came the murmur:

“'Hear, hear!” exclaimed the traveling salesman, and from the pharmacist came the quiet response:

“No harm in that.”

"That’s fine."

“Well, I think there is. They shoot deserters at the front, and we let this fellow off. I'd hang the cur.”

“Well, I think there definitely is. They shoot deserters at the front, and we let this guy go. I’d hang the scoundrel.”

Mr. Bosengate stared at that little wire-haired brute. “Haven't you any feeling for others?” he wanted to say. “Can't you see that this poor devil suffers tortures?” But the sheer impossibility of doing this before ten other men brought a slight sweat out on his face and hands; and in agitation he smote the table a blow with his fist. The effect was instantaneous. Everybody looked at the wire-haired man, as if saying: “Yes, you've gone a bit too far there!” The “little brute” stood it for a moment, then muttered surlily:

Mr. Bosengate stared at that little wire-haired jerk. “Don't you have any empathy for others?” he wanted to say. “Can't you see that this poor guy is suffering?” But the sheer impossibility of saying this in front of ten other men made him break into a slight sweat on his face and hands; in his agitation, he slammed his fist down on the table. The effect was immediate. Everyone looked at the wire-haired man, as if to say: “Yeah, you've gone a bit too far there!” The “little jerk” took it for a moment, then muttered sulkily:

“Well, commend 'im to mercy if you like; I don't care.”

“Well, wish him mercy if you want; I don't mind.”

“That's right; they never pay any attention to it,” said the grey-haired man, winking heartily. And Mr. Bosengate filed back with the others into court.

“That's right; they never pay any attention to it,” said the older man, winking enthusiastically. And Mr. Bosengate joined the others as they went back into court.

But when from the jury box his eyes fell once more on the hare-eyed figure in the dock, he had his worst moment yet. Why should this poor wretch suffer so—for no fault, no fault; while he, and these others, and that snapping counsel, and the Caesar-like judge up there, went off to their women and their homes, blithe as bees, and probably never thought of him again? And suddenly he was conscious of the judge's voice:

But when he looked again at the hare-eyed figure in the dock from the jury box, he experienced his worst moment yet. Why should this poor soul suffer so—without any fault? While he, along with the others, the aggressive lawyer, and the judge up there like a Caesar, went off to their wives and homes, carefree like bees, probably never thinking of him again? And suddenly he became aware of the judge's voice:

“You will go back to your regiment, and endeavour to serve your country with better spirit. You may thank the jury that you are not sent to prison, and your good fortune that you were not at the front when you tried to commit this cowardly act. You are lucky to be alive.”

“You will return to your unit and try to serve your country with more determination. You should be grateful to the jury for not sending you to prison, and to luck for keeping you away from the front lines when you attempted this cowardly act. You’re fortunate to be alive.”

A policeman pulled the little soldier by the arm; his drab figure with eyes fixed and lustreless, passed down and away. From his very soul Mr. Bosengate wanted to lean out and say: “Cheer up, cheer up! I understand.”

A policeman grabbed the little soldier by the arm; his dull figure, with lifeless eyes, moved away. From the depths of his being, Mr. Bosengate wanted to reach out and say, “Cheer up, cheer up! I understand.”

It was nearly ten o'clock that evening before he reached home, motoring back from the route march. His physical tiredness was abated, for he had partaken of a snack and a whisky and soda at the hotel; but mentally he was in a curious mood. His body felt appeased, his spirit hungry. Tonight he had a yearning, not for his wife's kisses, but for her understanding. He wanted to go to her and say: “I've learnt a lot to-day-found out things I never thought of. Life's a wonderful thing, Kate, a thing one can't live all to oneself; a thing one shares with everybody, so that when another suffers, one suffers too. It's come to me that what one has doesn't matter a bit—it's what one does, and how one sympathises with other people. It came to me in the most extraordinary vivid way, when I was on that jury, watching that poor little rat of a soldier in his trap; it's the first time I've ever felt—the—the spirit of Christ, you know. It's a wonderful thing, Kate—wonderful! We haven't been close—really close, you and I, so that we each understand what the other is feeling. It's all in that, you know; understanding—sympathy—it's priceless. When I saw that poor little devil taken down and sent back to his regiment to begin his sorrows all over again—wanting his wife, thinking and thinking of her just as you know I would be thinking and wanting you, I felt what an awful outside sort of life we lead, never telling each other what we really think and feel, never being really close. I daresay that little chap and his wife keep nothing from each other—live each other's lives. That's what we ought to do. Let's get to feeling that what really matters is—understanding and loving, and not only just saying it as we all do, those fellows on the jury, and even that poor devil of a judge—what an awful life judging one's fellow-creatures.

It was almost ten o'clock that night when he got home after driving back from the route march. He was physically tired but felt better after having a snack and a whiskey and soda at the hotel; mentally, though, he was in a strange mood. His body felt relaxed, but his spirit was craving something more. Tonight, he didn't long for his wife's kisses but for her understanding. He wanted to go to her and say: “I've learned so much today—discovered things I never thought about. Life is an amazing thing, Kate, something we can’t experience alone; it’s something we share with everyone, so when someone else suffers, we suffer too. It hit me that what we have doesn’t really matter—it's what we do and how we empathize with others. I realized this in such a vivid way when I was on that jury, watching that poor little soldier in his predicament; it’s the first time I’ve ever felt—the—the spirit of Christ, you know. It’s incredible, Kate—truly incredible! We haven't been close—really close, you and I—so that we truly understand what the other is feeling. It’s all about that, you know; understanding—empathy—it’s priceless. When I saw that poor guy sent back to his regiment to start his troubles all over again—missing his wife, thinking and thinking about her just like you know I would be thinking and wanting you—I realized how disconnected we often are, never sharing what we truly think and feel, never being really close. I bet that kid and his wife don’t hide anything from each other—they live each other’s lives. That’s what we should do. Let's start to believe that what really matters is—understanding and loving—not just saying it like everyone does, those guys on the jury, and even that poor judge—what a terrible life, judging one’s fellow human beings.

“When I left that poor little Tommy this morning, and ever since, I've longed to get back here quietly to you and tell you about it, and make a beginning. There's something wonderful in this, and I want you to feel it as I do, because you mean such a lot to me.”

“When I left that poor little Tommy this morning, and ever since, I've wanted to get back here quietly to you and share it all, and make a start. There's something amazing about this, and I want you to feel it like I do, because you mean so much to me.”

This was what he wanted to say to his wife, not touching, or kissing her, just looking into her eyes, watching them soften and glow as they surely must, catching the infection of his new ardour. And he felt unsteady, fearfully unsteady with the desire to say it all as it should be said: swiftly, quietly, with the truth and fervour of his feeling.

This was what he wanted to say to his wife, without touching or kissing her, just looking into her eyes, watching them soften and glow as they surely must, catching the spark of his new passion. And he felt shaky, fearfully shaky with the urge to express it all as it should be expressed: quickly, quietly, with the truth and intensity of his feelings.

The hall was not lit up, for daylight still lingered under the new arrangement. He went towards the drawing-room, but from the very door shied off to his study and stood irresolute under the picture of a “Man catching a flea” (Dutch school), which had come down to him from his father. The governess would be in there with his wife! He must wait. Essential to go straight to Kathleen and pour it all out, or he would never do it. He felt as nervous as an undergraduate going up for his viva' voce. This thing was so big, so astoundingly and unexpectedly important. He was suddenly afraid of his wife, afraid of her coolness and her grace, and that something Japanese about her—of all those attributes he had been accustomed to admire most; afraid, as it were, of her attraction. He felt young to-night, almost boyish; would she see that he was not really fifteen years older than herself, and she not really a part of his collection, of all the admirable appointments of his home; but a companion spirit to one who wanted a companion badly. In this agitation of his soul he could keep still no more than he could last night in the agitation of his senses; and he wandered into the dining-room. A dainty supper was set out there, sandwiches, and cake, whisky and the cigarettes—even an early peach. Mr. Bosengate looked at this peach with sorrow rather than disgust. The perfection of it was of a piece with all that had gone before this new and sudden feeling. Its delicious bloom seemed to heighten his perception of the hedge around him, that hedge of the things he so enjoyed, carefully planted and tended these many years. He passed it by uneaten, and went to the window. Out there all was darkening, the fountain, the lime tree, the flower-beds, and the fields below, with the Jersey cows who would come to your call; darkening slowly, losing form, blurring into soft blackness, vanishing, but there none the less—all there—the hedge of his possessions. He heard the door of the drawing-room open, the voices of his wife and the governess in the hall, going up to bed. If only they didn't look in here! If only! The voices ceased. He was safe now—had but to follow in a few minutes, to make sure of Kathleen alone. He turned round and stared down the length of the dark dining-room, over the rosewood table, to where in the mirror above the sideboard at the far end, his figure bathed, a stain, a mere blurred shadow; he made his way down to it along the table edge, and stood before himself as close as he could get. His throat and the roof of his mouth felt dry with nervousness; he put out his finger and touched his face in the glass. 'You're an ass!' he thought. 'Pull yourself together, and get it over. She will see; of course she will!' He swallowed, smoothed his moustache, and walked out. Going up the stairs, his heart beat painfully; but he was in for it now, and marched straight into her room. Dressed only in a loose blue wrapper, she was brushing her dark hair before the glass. Mr. Bosengate went up to her and stood there silent, looking down. The words he had thought of were like a swarm of bees buzzing in his head, yet not one would fly from between his lips. His wife went on brushing her hair under the light which shone on her polished elbows. She looked up at him from beneath one lifted eyebrow.

The hall wasn't lit up because there was still some daylight left. He walked toward the drawing-room, but as soon as he reached the door, he hesitated and stepped into his study, standing uncertainly under the painting of a "Man catching a flea" (Dutch school) that he had inherited from his father. The governess would be in there with his wife! He had to wait. It was crucial that he went straight to Kathleen and shared everything; otherwise, he could never bring himself to do it. He felt as nervous as a college student preparing for an oral exam. This situation was so significant, so shockingly and unexpectedly important. Suddenly, he felt apprehensive about his wife, scared of her composure and elegance, and that something very refined about her—attributes he had always admired; afraid, in a way, of her charm. He felt young tonight, almost like a teenager; would she realize that he wasn't really fifteen years older than her and that she wasn't just another part of his carefully curated life—one of the fine things in his home—but rather a true companion for someone who desperately wanted companionship? In this turmoil of emotions, he couldn't remain still any more than he could last night amidst the chaos of his senses; he wandered into the dining room. A lovely supper was laid out—sandwiches, cake, whiskey, and cigarettes—even an early peach. Mr. Bosengate looked at the peach with more sorrow than disgust. Its perfection matched the overwhelming feelings he was experiencing. Its delicious look seemed to sharpen his awareness of the boundary around him, the carefully nurtured comforts he had enjoyed for so many years. He left it untouched and walked to the window. Outside, everything was darkening; the fountain, the lime tree, the flower beds, and the fields below, where the Jersey cows would come when called; all gradually losing definition, merging into soft blackness, fading away, yet still there—his possessions, all present. He heard the drawing-room door open and the voices of his wife and the governess in the hall, heading to bed. If only they wouldn’t glance in here! If only! The voices stopped. He was safe now—he just had to follow in a few minutes to catch Kathleen alone. He turned and gazed down the length of the dark dining room, over the rosewood table, towards the mirror above the sideboard at the far end, where his figure appeared as a blurred shape; he made his way to it along the table’s edge and stood before his reflection as close as possible. His throat and the roof of his mouth felt dry from nervousness; he reached out his finger and touched his face in the glass. 'You're being ridiculous!' he thought. 'Get a grip and just do it. She will notice; of course, she will!' He swallowed, adjusted his mustache, and walked out. Climbing the stairs, his heart pounded painfully; but he was committed now, and he went straight into her room. Dressed only in a loose blue robe, she was brushing her dark hair in front of the mirror. Mr. Bosengate approached her and stood there silently, looking down. The words he had planned felt like a swarm of bees buzzing in his head, yet not one would escape his lips. His wife continued brushing her hair under the light that shone on her polished elbows. She looked up at him, raising one eyebrow.

“Well, dear—tired?”

“Well, darling—tired?”

With a sort of vehemence the single word “No” passed out. A faint, a quizzical smile flitted over her face; she shrugged her shoulders ever so gently. That gesture—he had seen it before! And in desperate desire to make her understand, he put his hand on her lifted arm.

With a kind of intensity, the single word “No” slipped out. A faint, curious smile appeared on her face; she shrugged her shoulders just a little. That gesture—he had seen it before! And in a desperate attempt to make her understand, he placed his hand on her raised arm.

“Kathleen, stop—listen to me!” His fingers tightened in his agitation and eagerness to make his great discovery known. But before he could get out a word he became conscious of that cool round arm, conscious of her eyes half-closed, sliding round at him, of her half-smiling lips, of her neck under the wrapper. And he stammered:

“Kathleen, stop—listen to me!” His fingers tightened in his agitation and eagerness to share his big discovery. But before he could say anything, he noticed her cool round arm, felt her half-closed eyes turning toward him, saw her partly smiling lips, and looked at her neck under the wrapper. And he stammered:

“I want—I must—Kathleen, I—-”

“I want—I must—Kathleen, I—”

She lifted her shoulders again in that little shrug. “Yes—I know; all right!”

She shrugged her shoulders again. “Yeah—I get it; fine!”

A wave of heat and shame, and of God knows what came over Mr. Bosengate; he fell on his knees and pressed his forehead to her arm; and he was silent, more silent than the grave. Nothing—nothing came from him but two long sighs. Suddenly he felt her hand stroke his cheek—compassionately, it seemed to him. She made a little movement towards him; her lips met his, and he remembered nothing but that....

A wave of heat and shame, and God knows what, washed over Mr. Bosengate; he dropped to his knees and pressed his forehead to her arm; and he was silent, more silent than the grave. Nothing—nothing came from him except for two long sighs. Suddenly, he felt her hand gently stroke his cheek—it seemed compassionate to him. She leaned in a little closer; her lips touched his, and he remembered nothing else but that....

In his own room Mr. Bosengate sat at his wide open window, smoking a cigarette; there was no light. Moths went past, the moon was creeping up. He sat very calm, puffing the smoke out in to the night air. Curious thing-life! Curious world! Curious forces in it—making one do the opposite of what one wished; always—always making one do the opposite, it seemed! The furtive light from that creeping moon was getting hold of things down there, stealing in among the boughs of the trees. 'There's something ironical,' he thought, 'which walks about. Things don't come off as you think they will. I meant, I tried but one doesn't change like that all of a sudden, it seems. Fact is, life's too big a thing for one! All the same, I'm not the man I was yesterday—not quite!' He closed his eyes, and in one of those flashes of vision which come when the senses are at rest, he saw himself as it were far down below—down on the floor of a street narrow as a grave, high as a mountain, a deep dark slit of a street walking down there, a black midget of a fellow, among other black midgets—his wife, and the little soldier, the judge, and those jury chaps—fantoches straight up on their tiny feet, wandering down there in that dark, infinitely tall, and narrow street. 'Too much for one!' he thought; 'Too high for one—no getting on top of it. We've got to be kind, and help one another, and not expect too much, and not think too much. That's—all!' And, squeezing out his cigarette, he took six deep breaths of the night air, and got into bed.

In his own room, Mr. Bosengate sat at his wide open window, smoking a cigarette; there was no light. Moths flew by, and the moon was rising. He remained calm, exhaling the smoke into the night air. What a strange thing—life! What a strange world! What odd forces are at play—always making you do the opposite of what you want; it always feels like that! The soft light from the rising moon was illuminating things below, sneaking in among the tree branches. "There’s something ironic," he thought, "that seems to wander around. Things don’t turn out the way you expect. I wanted to change, I tried, but it seems you can't suddenly transform like that. The truth is, life is just too overwhelming for one person! Still, I’m not the same man I was yesterday—not exactly!" He closed his eyes, and in one of those brief moments of clarity that come when the senses are relaxed, he imagined himself far below—down on the floor of a street that was as narrow as a grave and as tall as a mountain, a deep, dark slit of a street. He pictured himself as a tiny figure among others, like his wife, the little soldier, the judge, and those jury guys—puppets moving on their little feet, wandering in that dark, infinitely tall, and narrow street. "Too much for one person!" he thought; "Too high for one—no way to rise above it. We’ve got to be kind to each other, help one another out, not expect too much, and not overthink things. That’s all there is to it!" And after putting out his cigarette, he took six deep breaths of the night air and climbed into bed.





INDIAN SUMMER OF A FORSYTE

      “And Summer's lease hath all
                too short a date.”
                 —Shakespeare
      “And Summer's lease has all too short a date.”  
      —Shakespeare




I

In the last day of May in the early 'nineties, about six o'clock of the evening, old Jolyon Forsyte sat under the oak tree below the terrace of his house at Robin Hill. He was waiting for the midges to bite him, before abandoning the glory of the afternoon. His thin brown hand, where blue veins stood out, held the end of a cigar in its tapering, long-nailed fingers—a pointed polished nail had survived with him from those earlier Victorian days when to touch nothing, even with the tips of the fingers, had been so distinguished. His domed forehead, great white moustache, lean cheeks, and long lean jaw were covered from the westering sunshine by an old brown Panama hat. His legs were crossed; in all his attitude was serenity and a kind of elegance, as of an old man who every morning put eau de Cologne upon his silk handkerchief. At his feet lay a woolly brown-and-white dog trying to be a Pomeranian—the dog Balthasar between whom and old Jolyon primal aversion had changed into attachment with the years. Close to his chair was a swing, and on the swing was seated one of Holly's dolls—called 'Duffer Alice'—with her body fallen over her legs and her doleful nose buried in a black petticoat. She was never out of disgrace, so it did not matter to her how she sat. Below the oak tree the lawn dipped down a bank, stretched to the fernery, and, beyond that refinement, became fields, dropping to the pond, the coppice, and the prospect—'Fine, remarkable'—at which Swithin Forsyte, from under this very tree, had stared five years ago when he drove down with Irene to look at the house. Old Jolyon had heard of his brother's exploit—that drive which had become quite celebrated on Forsyte 'Change. Swithin! And the fellow had gone and died, last November, at the age of only seventy-nine, renewing the doubt whether Forsytes could live for ever, which had first arisen when Aunt Ann passed away. Died! and left only Jolyon and James, Roger and Nicholas and Timothy, Julia, Hester, Susan! And old Jolyon thought: 'Eighty-five! I don't feel it—except when I get that pain.'

On the last day of May in the early '90s, around six o'clock in the evening, old Jolyon Forsyte sat under the oak tree below the terrace of his house at Robin Hill. He was waiting for the midges to bite him before giving up the beauty of the afternoon. His thin brown hand, with blue veins standing out, held the end of a cigar in its long, tapered fingers—one polished nail had survived from those earlier Victorian times when it was considered classy to avoid touching anything, even with your fingertips. His domed forehead, large white mustache, lean cheeks, and long, thin jaw were shaded from the setting sun by an old brown Panama hat. His legs were crossed; his whole posture exuded calmness and a kind of elegance, like an old man who every morning applied eau de Cologne to his silk handkerchief. At his feet lay a woolly brown-and-white dog trying to be a Pomeranian—the dog, Balthasar, between whom and old Jolyon a primal aversion had turned into affection over the years. Beside his chair was a swing, and on the swing sat one of Holly's dolls—called 'Duffer Alice'—with her body slumped over her legs and her sad nose buried in a black petticoat. She was always in disgrace, so it didn't matter how she sat. Below the oak tree, the lawn sloped down a bank, extended to the fernery, and beyond that refinement, it became fields, leading down to the pond, the woods, and the view—'Fine, remarkable'—at which Swithin Forsyte, from under this very tree, had gazed five years ago when he drove down with Irene to check out the house. Old Jolyon had heard about his brother's adventure—that drive which had become quite famous on Forsyte 'Change. Swithin! And the guy had gone and died last November, at just seventy-nine, reigniting the question of whether Forsytes could live forever, which had first come up when Aunt Ann passed away. Died! and left behind only Jolyon and James, Roger and Nicholas and Timothy, Julia, Hester, and Susan! And old Jolyon thought: 'Eighty-five! I don't feel it—except when I get that pain.'

His memory went searching. He had not felt his age since he had bought his nephew Soames' ill-starred house and settled into it here at Robin Hill over three years ago. It was as if he had been getting younger every spring, living in the country with his son and his grandchildren—June, and the little ones of the second marriage, Jolly and Holly; living down here out of the racket of London and the cackle of Forsyte 'Change,' free of his boards, in a delicious atmosphere of no work and all play, with plenty of occupation in the perfecting and mellowing of the house and its twenty acres, and in ministering to the whims of Holly and Jolly. All the knots and crankiness, which had gathered in his heart during that long and tragic business of June, Soames, Irene his wife, and poor young Bosinney, had been smoothed out. Even June had thrown off her melancholy at last—witness this travel in Spain she was taking now with her father and her stepmother. Curiously perfect peace was left by their departure; blissful, yet blank, because his son was not there. Jo was never anything but a comfort and a pleasure to him nowadays—an amiable chap; but women, somehow—even the best—got a little on one's nerves, unless of course one admired them.

His memory started to roam. He hadn't felt his age since he bought his nephew Soames' unfortunate house and moved in here at Robin Hill over three years ago. It was as if he had been getting younger every spring, living in the countryside with his son and his grandchildren—June, and the little ones from his second marriage, Jolly and Holly; living down here away from the noise of London and the chatter of Forsyte 'Change,' free from obligations, in a delightful atmosphere of no work and all play, with plenty to do in improving and enjoying the house and its twenty acres, and catering to the whims of Holly and Jolly. All the tension and bitterness that had built up in his heart during that long and painful situation involving June, Soames, his wife Irene, and poor young Bosinney had been eased. Even June had finally shaken off her sadness—just look at this trip to Spain she's taking now with her father and her stepmother. Oddly enough, their departure brought a strangely perfect peace; blissful, yet empty, because his son wasn't there. Jo was always just a comfort and a joy to him these days—an easygoing guy; but women, for some reason—even the best of them—tended to get on one's nerves, unless, of course, one admired them.

Far-off a cuckoo called; a wood-pigeon was cooing from the first elm-tree in the field, and how the daisies and buttercups had sprung up after the last mowing! The wind had got into the sou' west, too—a delicious air, sappy! He pushed his hat back and let the sun fall on his chin and cheek. Somehow, to-day, he wanted company—wanted a pretty face to look at. People treated the old as if they wanted nothing. And with the un-Forsytean philosophy which ever intruded on his soul, he thought: 'One's never had enough. With a foot in the grave one'll want something, I shouldn't be surprised!' Down here—away from the exigencies of affairs—his grandchildren, and the flowers, trees, birds of his little domain, to say nothing of sun and moon and stars above them, said, 'Open, sesame,' to him day and night. And sesame had opened—how much, perhaps, he did not know. He had always been responsive to what they had begun to call 'Nature,' genuinely, almost religiously responsive, though he had never lost his habit of calling a sunset a sunset and a view a view, however deeply they might move him. But nowadays Nature actually made him ache, he appreciated it so. Every one of these calm, bright, lengthening days, with Holly's hand in his, and the dog Balthasar in front looking studiously for what he never found, he would stroll, watching the roses open, fruit budding on the walls, sunlight brightening the oak leaves and saplings in the coppice, watching the water-lily leaves unfold and glisten, and the silvery young corn of the one wheat field; listening to the starlings and skylarks, and the Alderney cows chewing the cud, flicking slow their tufted tails; and every one of these fine days he ached a little from sheer love of it all, feeling perhaps, deep down, that he had not very much longer to enjoy it. The thought that some day—perhaps not ten years hence, perhaps not five—all this world would be taken away from him, before he had exhausted his powers of loving it, seemed to him in the nature of an injustice brooding over his horizon. If anything came after this life, it wouldn't be what he wanted; not Robin Hill, and flowers and birds and pretty faces—too few, even now, of those about him! With the years his dislike of humbug had increased; the orthodoxy he had worn in the 'sixties, as he had worn side-whiskers out of sheer exuberance, had long dropped off, leaving him reverent before three things alone—beauty, upright conduct, and the sense of property; and the greatest of these now was beauty. He had always had wide interests, and, indeed could still read The Times, but he was liable at any moment to put it down if he heard a blackbird sing. Upright conduct, property—somehow, they were tiring; the blackbirds and the sunsets never tired him, only gave him an uneasy feeling that he could not get enough of them. Staring into the stilly radiance of the early evening and at the little gold and white flowers on the lawn, a thought came to him: This weather was like the music of 'Orfeo,' which he had recently heard at Covent Garden. A beautiful opera, not like Meyerbeer, nor even quite Mozart, but, in its way, perhaps even more lovely; something classical and of the Golden Age about it, chaste and mellow, and the Ravogli 'almost worthy of the old days'—highest praise he could bestow. The yearning of Orpheus for the beauty he was losing, for his love going down to Hades, as in life love and beauty did go—the yearning which sang and throbbed through the golden music, stirred also in the lingering beauty of the world that evening. And with the tip of his cork-soled, elastic-sided boot he involuntarily stirred the ribs of the dog Balthasar, causing the animal to wake and attack his fleas; for though he was supposed to have none, nothing could persuade him of the fact. When he had finished he rubbed the place he had been scratching against his master's calf, and settled down again with his chin over the instep of the disturbing boot. And into old Jolyon's mind came a sudden recollection—a face he had seen at that opera three weeks ago—Irene, the wife of his precious nephew Soames, that man of property! Though he had not met her since the day of the 'At Home' in his old house at Stanhope Gate, which celebrated his granddaughter June's ill-starred engagement to young Bosinney, he had remembered her at once, for he had always admired her—a very pretty creature. After the death of young Bosinney, whose mistress she had so reprehensibly become, he had heard that she had left Soames at once. Goodness only knew what she had been doing since. That sight of her face—a side view—in the row in front, had been literally the only reminder these three years that she was still alive. No one ever spoke of her. And yet Jo had told him something once—something which had upset him completely. The boy had got it from George Forsyte, he believed, who had seen Bosinney in the fog the day he was run over—something which explained the young fellow's distress—an act of Soames towards his wife—a shocking act. Jo had seen her, too, that afternoon, after the news was out, seen her for a moment, and his description had always lingered in old Jolyon's mind—'wild and lost' he had called her. And next day June had gone there—bottled up her feelings and gone there, and the maid had cried and told her how her mistress had slipped out in the night and vanished. A tragic business altogether! One thing was certain—Soames had never been able to lay hands on her again. And he was living at Brighton, and journeying up and down—a fitting fate, the man of property! For when he once took a dislike to anyone—as he had to his nephew—old Jolyon never got over it. He remembered still the sense of relief with which he had heard the news of Irene's disappearance. It had been shocking to think of her a prisoner in that house to which she must have wandered back, when Jo saw her, wandered back for a moment—like a wounded animal to its hole after seeing that news, 'Tragic death of an Architect,' in the street. Her face had struck him very much the other night—more beautiful than he had remembered, but like a mask, with something going on beneath it. A young woman still—twenty-eight perhaps. Ah, well! Very likely she had another lover by now. But at this subversive thought—for married women should never love: once, even, had been too much—his instep rose, and with it the dog Balthasar's head. The sagacious animal stood up and looked into old Jolyon's face. 'Walk?' he seemed to say; and old Jolyon answered: “Come on, old chap!”

Far away, a cuckoo called; a wood-pigeon was cooing from the first elm tree in the field, and look how the daisies and buttercups had bloomed after the last mowing! The wind had shifted to the southwest, too—a lovely, fresh breeze! He pushed his hat back and let the sun warm his chin and cheek. For some reason, today he wanted company—wanted a pretty face to look at. People treated the elderly like they didn’t want anything. With that un-Forsytean philosophy that often crept into his mind, he thought: 'You never have enough. Even with one foot in the grave, you’ll still want something; I wouldn’t be surprised!' Down here—away from the demands of life—his grandchildren, the flowers, trees, and birds of his little space, not to mention the sun, moon, and stars above, kept saying, 'Open, sesame,' to him day and night. And sesame had opened—how much, perhaps, he didn’t know. He had always been attuned to what people now called 'Nature,' genuinely, almost religiously responsive, though he never stopped calling a sunset a sunset and a view a view, no matter how deeply they moved him. But nowadays, Nature made him ache with appreciation. Every one of these calm, bright, lengthening days, with Holly’s hand in his and the dog Balthasar ahead, searching studiously for what he never found, he would stroll, watching the roses bloom, fruit budding on the walls, sunlight illuminating the oak leaves and saplings in the coppice, observing the water-lily leaves unfold and glisten, and the silvery young corn in the one wheat field; listening to the starlings and skylarks, and the Alderney cows chewing their cud, lazily flicking their tufted tails; and on all these beautiful days, he felt a little ache from just loving it all, sensing perhaps, deep down, that he didn’t have much longer to enjoy it. The thought that someday—maybe not ten years from now, maybe not five—this world would be taken away from him, before he had fully exhausted his ability to love it, felt like an injustice looming over his horizon. If anything came after this life, it wouldn’t be what he wanted; not Robin Hill, and flowers and birds and pretty faces—there were already too few of those around him! Over the years, his dislike of nonsense had grown; the conventional beliefs he had worn in the ’60s, much like he had worn sideburns out of sheer exuberance, had long since fallen away, leaving him reverent only towards three things—beauty, integrity, and the sense of ownership; and now, the greatest of these was beauty. He had always had a wide range of interests, and could still read The Times, but he was prone to setting it down at any moment if he heard a blackbird sing. Integrity, ownership—somehow, they were tiring; the blackbirds and sunsets never tired him, only leaving him with an uneasy feeling that he couldn’t get enough of them. Staring into the calm glow of the early evening and at the little gold and white flowers on the lawn, a thought crossed his mind: This weather was like the music of 'Orfeo,' which he had recently heard at Covent Garden. A beautiful opera, not like Meyerbeer, nor even quite Mozart, but, in its way, perhaps even lovelier; it had something classical and reminiscent of the Golden Age—pure and mellow, and the Ravogli 'almost worthy of the old days'—the highest praise he could give. The longing of Orpheus for the beauty he was losing, for his love going down to Hades, as in life, love and beauty often did—the longing that sang and pulsed through the golden music, resonated also in the lingering beauty of the world that evening. And with the tip of his cork-soled, elastic-sided boot, he unintentionally nudged the ribs of the dog Balthasar, causing the animal to wake and scratch at his fleas; for even though he was supposed to have none, nothing could convince him of that. Once he finished, he rubbed the place he had been scratching against his master’s calf and settled back down, resting his chin on the instep of the distracting boot. Suddenly, old Jolyon remembered a face he had seen at that opera three weeks ago—Irene, the wife of his precious nephew Soames, that man of property! Although he hadn’t seen her since the day of the 'At Home' at his old house on Stanhope Gate, which marked his granddaughter June's ill-fated engagement to young Bosinney, he remembered her right away, for he had always admired her—a very pretty woman. After the death of young Bosinney, whose mistress she had unfortunately become, he heard that she left Soames right away. Goodness knew what she had been up to since. That glimpse of her face—a side view—sitting in the row in front, was literally the only reminder in these three years that she was still alive. No one ever mentioned her. Yet Jo had told him something once—something that upset him completely. The boy must have heard it from George Forsyte, who had seen Bosinney in the fog the day he was run over—something that clarified the young man’s distress—an act of Soames toward his wife—a shocking act. Jo had seen her that afternoon too, right after the news broke, saw her for just a moment, and his description had never left old Jolyon’s mind—‘wild and lost’ he had called her. The next day, June had gone there—bottled up her feelings and gone, and the maid had cried, telling her how her mistress had slipped out in the night and vanished. A tragic situation altogether! One thing was certain—Soames had never been able to find her again. And he was living in Brighton, traveling back and forth—a fitting fate for the man of property! Because once old Jolyon took a dislike to anyone—as he had to his nephew—he never got over it. He still remembered the relief he felt upon hearing the news of Irene's disappearance. It had been upsetting to think of her as a prisoner in that house she must have returned to, when Jo saw her, going back for a moment—like a wounded animal to its den after seeing that news, 'Tragic death of an Architect,' in the street. Her face had struck him strongly the other night—more beautiful than he remembered, but like a mask, with something hidden beneath it. A young woman still—perhaps twenty-eight. Ah, well! Most likely she had another lover by now. But with that subversive thought—for married women should never love: once, even, was too much—his instep rose, and with it, the dog Balthasar's head. The clever animal stood up and looked into old Jolyon's face. 'Walk?' he seemed to ask; and old Jolyon replied: “Come on, old chap!”

Slowly, as was their wont, they crossed among the constellations of buttercups and daisies, and entered the fernery. This feature, where very little grew as yet, had been judiciously dropped below the level of the lawn so that it might come up again on the level of the other lawn and give the impression of irregularity, so important in horticulture. Its rocks and earth were beloved of the dog Balthasar, who sometimes found a mole there. Old Jolyon made a point of passing through it because, though it was not beautiful, he intended that it should be, some day, and he would think: 'I must get Varr to come down and look at it; he's better than Beech.' For plants, like houses and human complaints, required the best expert consideration. It was inhabited by snails, and if accompanied by his grandchildren, he would point to one and tell them the story of the little boy who said: 'Have plummers got leggers, Mother? 'No, sonny.' 'Then darned if I haven't been and swallowed a snileybob.' And when they skipped and clutched his hand, thinking of the snileybob going down the little boy's 'red lane,' his eyes would twinkle. Emerging from the fernery, he opened the wicket gate, which just there led into the first field, a large and park-like area, out of which, within brick walls, the vegetable garden had been carved. Old Jolyon avoided this, which did not suit his mood, and made down the hill towards the pond. Balthasar, who knew a water-rat or two, gambolled in front, at the gait which marks an oldish dog who takes the same walk every day. Arrived at the edge, old Jolyon stood, noting another water-lily opened since yesterday; he would show it to Holly to-morrow, when 'his little sweet' had got over the upset which had followed on her eating a tomato at lunch—her little arrangements were very delicate. Now that Jolly had gone to school—his first term—Holly was with him nearly all day long, and he missed her badly. He felt that pain too, which often bothered him now, a little dragging at his left side. He looked back up the hill. Really, poor young Bosinney had made an uncommonly good job of the house; he would have done very well for himself if he had lived! And where was he now? Perhaps, still haunting this, the site of his last work, of his tragic love affair. Or was Philip Bosinney's spirit diffused in the general? Who could say? That dog was getting his legs muddy! And he moved towards the coppice. There had been the most delightful lot of bluebells, and he knew where some still lingered like little patches of sky fallen in between the trees, away out of the sun. He passed the cow-houses and the hen-houses there installed, and pursued a path into the thick of the saplings, making for one of the bluebell plots. Balthasar, preceding him once more, uttered a low growl. Old Jolyon stirred him with his foot, but the dog remained motionless, just where there was no room to pass, and the hair rose slowly along the centre of his woolly back. Whether from the growl and the look of the dog's stivered hair, or from the sensation which a man feels in a wood, old Jolyon also felt something move along his spine. And then the path turned, and there was an old mossy log, and on it a woman sitting. Her face was turned away, and he had just time to think: 'She's trespassing—I must have a board put up!' before she turned. Powers above! The face he had seen at the opera—the very woman he had just been thinking of! In that confused moment he saw things blurred, as if a spirit—queer effect—the slant of sunlight perhaps on her violet-grey frock! And then she rose and stood smiling, her head a little to one side. Old Jolyon thought: 'How pretty she is!' She did not speak, neither did he; and he realized why with a certain admiration. She was here no doubt because of some memory, and did not mean to try and get out of it by vulgar explanation.

Slowly, as they usually did, they walked through the clusters of buttercups and daisies and entered the fern garden. This area, which hadn’t grown much yet, had been wisely placed lower than the lawn so that it could rise to the same level as the other lawn and create a sense of irregularity, which is important in gardening. Its rocks and soil were favorites of the dog Balthasar, who sometimes found moles there. Old Jolyon made a point of passing through it because, even though it wasn’t beautiful, he planned for it to be someday, and he thought: 'I need to get Varr to come and check it out; he knows more than Beech.' After all, plants, like houses and human problems, needed expert care. It was home to snails, and when his grandchildren were with him, he would point one out and share the story of the little boy who asked, 'Do plumbers have legs, Mom?' 'No, sweetheart.' 'Then I must have swallowed a snileybob!' And when they laughed and grabbed his hand, thinking of the snileybob going down the little boy's 'red lane,' his eyes would sparkle. As he left the fern garden, he opened the little gate that led into the first field, a big, park-like area, beyond which, surrounded by brick walls, lay the vegetable garden. Old Jolyon steered clear of this area since it didn’t match his mood and headed down the hill toward the pond. Balthasar, who knew a water rat or two, happily pranced ahead, moving in the manner of an older dog that takes the same walk every day. When he reached the edge, old Jolyon paused, noticing another water lily had opened since yesterday; he planned to show it to Holly tomorrow, after 'his little sweet' recovered from the upset that followed her eating a tomato at lunch—her little feelings were quite delicate. Now that Jolly had started school—his first term—Holly was with him nearly all day, and he missed her terribly. He also felt that familiar pain that had started to bother him lately, a slight pulling at his left side. He looked back up the hill. Really, poor young Bosinney had done an incredibly good job on the house; he would have been very successful if he had lived! And where was he now? Perhaps still wandering around here, the site of his last work, his tragic love story. Or was Philip Bosinney’s spirit mixed with everything else? Who could say? That dog was getting his legs dirty! And he moved toward the copse. There had been a wonderfully delightful patch of bluebells, and he knew where some still lingered like tiny pieces of sky dropped between the trees, far from the sun. He passed the cowhouses and henhouses there, then took a path deeper into the saplings, aiming for one of the bluebell spots. Balthasar, ahead of him again, let out a low growl. Old Jolyon nudged him with his foot, but the dog stayed still, blocking the path, with the hair slowly rising along his woolly back. Whether it was the growl and the sight of the dog’s bristling hair or the unnerving feeling one gets in the woods, old Jolyon felt a shiver along his spine. Then the path turned, revealing an old mossy log, and on it sat a woman. Her face was turned away, and he only had time to think, 'She’s trespassing—I need to put up a sign!' before she turned. Goodness! The face he had seen at the opera—the exact woman he had just been thinking about! In that moment of confusion, everything felt hazy, as if a spirit—perhaps the sunlight catching her violet-grey dress! And then she stood up and smiled, tilting her head slightly. Old Jolyon thought: 'She’s so pretty!' Neither of them spoke, and he realized why, with a bit of admiration. She was clearly there due to some memory and didn’t intend to escape it with trivial explanations.

“Don't let that dog touch your frock,” he said; “he's got wet feet. Come here, you!”

“Don’t let that dog touch your dress,” he said; “he’s got wet paws. Come here, you!”

But the dog Balthasar went on towards the visitor, who put her hand down and stroked his head. Old Jolyon said quickly:

But the dog Balthasar walked over to the visitor, who reached down and pet his head. Old Jolyon said quickly:

“I saw you at the opera the other night; you didn't notice me.”

“I saw you at the opera the other night; you didn't see me.”

“Oh, yes! I did.”

“Oh, definitely! I did.”

He felt a subtle flattery in that, as though she had added: 'Do you think one could miss seeing you?'

He sensed a slight flattery in that, as if she had added: 'Do you think anyone could overlook seeing you?'

“They're all in Spain,” he remarked abruptly. “I'm alone; I drove up for the opera. The Ravogli's good. Have you seen the cow-houses?”

“They're all in Spain,” he said suddenly. “I'm on my own; I drove up for the opera. The Ravogli is great. Have you checked out the cowhouses?”

In a situation so charged with mystery and something very like emotion he moved instinctively towards that bit of property, and she moved beside him. Her figure swayed faintly, like the best kind of French figures; her dress, too, was a sort of French grey. He noticed two or three silver threads in her amber-coloured hair, strange hair with those dark eyes of hers, and that creamy-pale face. A sudden sidelong look from the velvety brown eyes disturbed him. It seemed to come from deep and far, from another world almost, or at all events from some one not living very much in this. And he said mechanically:

In a situation so filled with mystery and strong emotions, he instinctively walked towards that piece of land, and she walked beside him. Her figure swayed gently, like classic French art; her dress was also a shade of French gray. He noticed a few silver strands in her amber-colored hair, which was unusual with her dark eyes and creamy-pale complexion. A sudden sideways glance from her velvety brown eyes unsettled him. It felt like it came from somewhere deep, almost another world, or at least from someone not really engaged in this one. And he said automatically:

“Where are you living now?”

"Where do you live now?"

“I have a little flat in Chelsea.”

“I have a small apartment in Chelsea.”

He did not want to hear what she was doing, did not want to hear anything; but the perverse word came out:

He didn’t want to know what she was doing, didn’t want to hear anything; but the stubborn word slipped out:

“Alone?”

"By yourself?"

She nodded. It was a relief to know that. And it came into his mind that, but for a twist of fate, she would have been mistress of this coppice, showing these cow-houses to him, a visitor.

She nodded. It was a relief to know that. And it occurred to him that, if it weren't for a twist of fate, she would have been in charge of this grove, showing him these barns as a visitor.

“All Alderneys,” he muttered; “they give the best milk. This one's a pretty creature. Woa, Myrtle!”

“All Alderneys,” he muttered; “they produce the best milk. This one’s a beautiful creature. Whoa, Myrtle!”

The fawn-coloured cow, with eyes as soft and brown as Irene's own, was standing absolutely still, not having long been milked. She looked round at them out of the corner of those lustrous, mild, cynical eyes, and from her grey lips a little dribble of saliva threaded its way towards the straw. The scent of hay and vanilla and ammonia rose in the dim light of the cool cow-house; and old Jolyon said:

The light brown cow, with soft brown eyes just like Irene's, was standing completely still, having just been milked. She glanced at them from the side with her shiny, gentle, and slightly skeptical eyes, and a small trickle of saliva dripped from her grey lips towards the straw. The smell of hay, vanilla, and ammonia filled the dim light of the cool barn; and old Jolyon said:

“You must come up and have some dinner with me. I'll send you home in the carriage.”

“You have to come up and have dinner with me. I’ll send you home in the car.”

He perceived a struggle going on within her; natural, no doubt, with her memories. But he wanted her company; a pretty face, a charming figure, beauty! He had been alone all the afternoon. Perhaps his eyes were wistful, for she answered: “Thank you, Uncle Jolyon. I should like to.”

He sensed a conflict happening inside her; completely understandable, considering her memories. But he wanted to be with her; a pretty face, an attractive figure, beauty! He had been alone all afternoon. Maybe there was a longing look in his eyes, because she replied, “Thank you, Uncle Jolyon. I’d like that.”

He rubbed his hands, and said:

He rubbed his hands and said:

“Capital! Let's go up, then!” And, preceded by the dog Balthasar, they ascended through the field. The sun was almost level in their faces now, and he could see, not only those silver threads, but little lines, just deep enough to stamp her beauty with a coin-like fineness—the special look of life unshared with others. “I'll take her in by the terrace,” he thought: “I won't make a common visitor of her.”

“Capital! Let’s head up, then!” And, with the dog Balthasar in the lead, they climbed through the field. The sun was almost directly in their faces now, and he could see not just those silver threads, but also little lines, just deep enough to highlight her beauty with a coin-like precision—the unique look of a life not shared with anyone else. “I’ll bring her in through the terrace,” he thought: “I won’t treat her like just any visitor.”

“What do you do all day?” he said.

“What do you do all day?” he asked.

“Teach music; I have another interest, too.”

“Teach music; I have another interest as well.”

“Work!” said old Jolyon, picking up the doll from off the swing, and smoothing its black petticoat. “Nothing like it, is there? I don't do any now. I'm getting on. What interest is that?”

“Work!” said old Jolyon, picking up the doll from the swing and smoothing its black petticoat. “There’s nothing like it, right? I don’t do any work anymore. I’m getting older. What’s the point in that?”

“Trying to help women who've come to grief.” Old Jolyon did not quite understand. “To grief?” he repeated; then realised with a shock that she meant exactly what he would have meant himself if he had used that expression. Assisting the Magdalenes of London! What a weird and terrifying interest! And, curiosity overcoming his natural shrinking, he asked:

“Trying to help women who are in trouble.” Old Jolyon didn’t quite understand. “In trouble?” he repeated; then he realized with a shock that she meant exactly what he would have meant himself if he had used that phrase. Assisting the women of London in need! What a strange and daunting interest! And, curiosity overcoming his natural hesitation, he asked:

“Why? What do you do for them?”

“Why? What do you do for them?”

“Not much. I've no money to spare. I can only give sympathy and food sometimes.”

“Not much. I don’t have any extra money. I can only provide sympathy and food sometimes.”

Involuntarily old Jolyon's hand sought his purse. He said hastily: “How d'you get hold of them?”

Involuntarily, old Jolyon reached for his wallet. He said quickly, “How did you get these?”

“I go to a hospital.”

“I’m going to the hospital.”

“A hospital! Phew!”

"A hospital! Thank goodness!"

“What hurts me most is that once they nearly all had some sort of beauty.”

“What hurts me the most is that at one point, they all had some kind of beauty.”

Old Jolyon straightened the doll. “Beauty!” he ejaculated: “Ha! Yes! A sad business!” and he moved towards the house. Through a French window, under sun-blinds not yet drawn up, he preceded her into the room where he was wont to study The Times and the sheets of an agricultural magazine, with huge illustrations of mangold wurzels, and the like, which provided Holly with material for her paint brush.

Old Jolyon straightened the doll. “Beautiful!” he exclaimed, “Ha! Yes! A sad situation!” and he walked towards the house. Through a French window, with the sun-blinds still down, he led her into the room where he usually read The Times and the pages of an agricultural magazine, featuring large pictures of mangold wurzels and such, which provided Holly with inspiration for her paintbrush.

“Dinner's in half an hour. You'd like to wash your hands! I'll take you to June's room.”

“Dinner's in half an hour. You want to wash your hands! I'll take you to June's room.”

He saw her looking round eagerly; what changes since she had last visited this house with her husband, or her lover, or both perhaps—he did not know, could not say! All that was dark, and he wished to leave it so. But what changes! And in the hall he said:

He saw her looking around excitedly; how much had changed since she last visited this house with her husband, or her lover, or maybe both—he didn't know, couldn't say! All of that was a mystery, and he preferred it that way. But what changes! And in the hall, he said:

“My boy Jo's a painter, you know. He's got a lot of taste. It isn't mine, of course, but I've let him have his way.”

“My son Jo is a painter, you know. He has a lot of style. It’s not my taste, of course, but I’ve let him do his thing.”

She was standing very still, her eyes roaming through the hall and music room, as it now was—all thrown into one, under the great skylight. Old Jolyon had an odd impression of her. Was she trying to conjure somebody from the shades of that space where the colouring was all pearl-grey and silver? He would have had gold himself; more lively and solid. But Jo had French tastes, and it had come out shadowy like that, with an effect as of the fume of cigarettes the chap was always smoking, broken here and there by a little blaze of blue or crimson colour. It was not his dream! Mentally he had hung this space with those gold-framed masterpieces of still and stiller life which he had bought in days when quantity was precious. And now where were they? Sold for a song! That something which made him, alone among Forsytes, move with the times had warned him against the struggle to retain them. But in his study he still had 'Dutch Fishing Boats at Sunset.'

She stood very still, her eyes scanning the hall and music room, now all merged together under the huge skylight. Old Jolyon had a strange impression of her. Was she trying to summon someone from the shadows of that space where the colors were all pearl-grey and silver? He would have preferred gold; it felt more vibrant and solid. But Jo had French tastes, which made it come out shadowy like that, with a hint of the smoke from the cigarettes the guy was always smoking, interrupted here and there by little bursts of blue or red. It wasn’t his vision! Mentally, he had decorated this space with those gold-framed masterpieces of still life he had bought when quantity mattered. And now where were they? Sold for dirt cheap! That something which allowed him, unlike the rest of the Forsytes, to keep up with the times had warned him against the fight to hold on to them. But in his study, he still had 'Dutch Fishing Boats at Sunset.'

He began to mount the stairs with her, slowly, for he felt his side.

He started to walk up the stairs with her, slowly, because he could feel pain in his side.

“These are the bathrooms,” he said, “and other arrangements. I've had them tiled. The nurseries are along there. And this is Jo's and his wife's. They all communicate. But you remember, I expect.”

“These are the bathrooms,” he said, “and other setups. I've had them tiled. The nurseries are down that way. And this is Jo's and his wife's. They all connect. But I assume you remember.”

Irene nodded. They passed on, up the gallery and entered a large room with a small bed, and several windows.

Irene nodded. They continued on, up the gallery and entered a large room with a small bed and several windows.

“This is mine,” he said. The walls were covered with the photographs of children and watercolour sketches, and he added doubtfully:

“This is mine,” he said. The walls were adorned with pictures of children and watercolor sketches, and he added hesitantly:

“These are Jo's. The view's first-rate. You can see the Grand Stand at Epsom in clear weather.”

“These are Jo's. The view is amazing. You can see the Grand Stand at Epsom when the weather is clear.”

The sun was down now, behind the house, and over the 'prospect' a luminous haze had settled, emanation of the long and prosperous day. Few houses showed, but fields and trees faintly glistened, away to a loom of downs.

The sun had set, now behind the house, and a glowing haze blanketed the 'prospect,' a sign of the long, successful day. Few houses were visible, but the fields and trees shimmered gently, stretching out towards a backdrop of rolling hills.

“The country's changing,” he said abruptly, “but there it'll be when we're all gone. Look at those thrushes—the birds are sweet here in the mornings. I'm glad to have washed my hands of London.”

“The country is changing,” he said suddenly, “but it will still be here when we're all gone. Look at those thrushes—the birds are lovely here in the mornings. I’m happy to be done with London.”

Her face was close to the window pane, and he was struck by its mournful look. 'Wish I could make her look happy!' he thought. 'A pretty face, but sad!' And taking up his can of hot water he went out into the gallery.

Her face was pressed against the window, and he was taken aback by its sorrowful expression. 'I wish I could make her smile!' he thought. 'Such a beautiful face, but so sad!' So, picking up his can of hot water, he stepped out into the hallway.

“This is June's room,” he said, opening the next door and putting the can down; “I think you'll find everything.” And closing the door behind her he went back to his own room. Brushing his hair with his great ebony brushes, and dabbing his forehead with eau de Cologne, he mused. She had come so strangely—a sort of visitation; mysterious, even romantic, as if his desire for company, for beauty, had been fulfilled by whatever it was which fulfilled that sort of thing. And before the mirror he straightened his still upright figure, passed the brushes over his great white moustache, touched up his eyebrows with eau de Cologne, and rang the bell.

“This is June's room,” he said, opening the next door and setting the can down. “I think you’ll find everything you need.” He closed the door behind her and returned to his own room. As he brushed his hair with his large ebony brushes and dabbed his forehead with cologne, he reflected. She had arrived in such an unusual way—a kind of visit; mysterious, even romantic, as if his longing for company and beauty had been met by whatever it was that brought that kind of fulfillment. Before the mirror, he straightened his still-erect posture, ran the brushes over his big white mustache, touched up his eyebrows with cologne, and rang the bell.

“I forgot to let them know that I have a lady to dinner with me. Let cook do something extra, and tell Beacon to have the landau and pair at half-past ten to drive her back to Town to-night. Is Miss Holly asleep?”

“I forgot to inform them that I have a woman joining me for dinner. Let the cook prepare something special, and tell Beacon to get the carriage ready at half-past ten to drive her back to town tonight. Is Miss Holly asleep?”

The maid thought not. And old Jolyon, passing down the gallery, stole on tiptoe towards the nursery, and opened the door whose hinges he kept specially oiled that he might slip in and out in the evenings without being heard.

The maid didn’t think so. And old Jolyon, walking down the hallway, quietly tiptoed towards the nursery and opened the door, which he had specially oiled so he could slip in and out in the evenings without making a sound.

But Holly was asleep, and lay like a miniature Madonna, of that type which the old painters could not tell from Venus, when they had completed her. Her long dark lashes clung to her cheeks; on her face was perfect peace—her little arrangements were evidently all right again. And old Jolyon, in the twilight of the room, stood adoring her! It was so charming, solemn, and loving—that little face. He had more than his share of the blessed capacity of living again in the young. They were to him his future life—all of a future life that his fundamental pagan sanity perhaps admitted. There she was with everything before her, and his blood—some of it—in her tiny veins. There she was, his little companion, to be made as happy as ever he could make her, so that she knew nothing but love. His heart swelled, and he went out, stilling the sound of his patent-leather boots. In the corridor an eccentric notion attacked him: To think that children should come to that which Irene had told him she was helping! Women who were all, once, little things like this one sleeping there! 'I must give her a cheque!' he mused; 'Can't bear to think of them!' They had never borne reflecting on, those poor outcasts; wounding too deeply the core of true refinement hidden under layers of conformity to the sense of property—wounding too grievously the deepest thing in him—a love of beauty which could give him, even now, a flutter of the heart, thinking of his evening in the society of a pretty woman. And he went downstairs, through the swinging doors, to the back regions. There, in the wine-cellar, was a hock worth at least two pounds a bottle, a Steinberg Cabinet, better than any Johannisberg that ever went down throat; a wine of perfect bouquet, sweet as a nectarine—nectar indeed! He got a bottle out, handling it like a baby, and holding it level to the light, to look. Enshrined in its coat of dust, that mellow coloured, slender-necked bottle gave him deep pleasure. Three years to settle down again since the move from Town—ought to be in prime condition! Thirty-five years ago he had bought it—thank God he had kept his palate, and earned the right to drink it. She would appreciate this; not a spice of acidity in a dozen. He wiped the bottle, drew the cork with his own hands, put his nose down, inhaled its perfume, and went back to the music room.

But Holly was asleep, lying like a little Madonna, the kind that old painters couldn’t distinguish from Venus once they finished their work. Her long dark lashes rested against her cheeks; her face radiated perfect peace—everything was clearly okay again. Old Jolyon stood in the dim light of the room, admiring her! That little face was so charming, solemn, and loving. He had more than his fair share of the wonderful ability to relive his youth through the young. They represented his future—a glimpse of what his future might hold, which his basic sense of life maybe allowed. There she was, with everything ahead of her, and a bit of his blood coursing through her tiny veins. There she was, his little buddy, to be made as happy as he could manage, so she would know only love. His heart swelled, and he quietly stepped out, trying to silence the sound of his shiny boots. In the hallway, a strange thought struck him: to think that children would face what Irene had told him she was helping with! Women who were once all little girls like this one sleeping there! 'I must write her a check!' he thought; 'I can't stand to think about them!' He had never been able to contemplate those poor outcasts; it hurt too deeply the core of true refinement buried beneath layers of conformity to societal expectations—wounding what was deepest in him—a love for beauty that could still make his heart flutter, just thinking about his evening with a pretty woman. He went downstairs, through the swinging doors, to the back area. There, in the wine cellar, was a hock worth at least two pounds a bottle, a Steinberg Cabinet, better than any Johannisberg that had ever been tasted; a wine of perfect aroma, as sweet as a nectarine—nectar indeed! He took out a bottle, cradling it like a baby, holding it up to the light to look at it. Dust-covered and slender-necked, that mellow-colored bottle gave him great pleasure. Three years to settle down since moving from the city—it should be in prime condition! Thirty-five years ago he had bought it—thank God he had kept his taste and earned the right to drink it. She would appreciate this; there wasn’t a hint of acidity in a dozen. He wiped the bottle, pulled the cork with his own hands, inhaled its fragrance, and returned to the music room.

Irene was standing by the piano; she had taken off her hat and a lace scarf she had been wearing, so that her gold-coloured hair was visible, and the pallor of her neck. In her grey frock she made a pretty picture for old Jolyon, against the rosewood of the piano.

Irene was standing by the piano; she had removed her hat and the lace scarf she was wearing, letting her golden hair show along with the pale skin of her neck. In her gray dress, she looked lovely to old Jolyon, set against the rosewood of the piano.

He gave her his arm, and solemnly they went. The room, which had been designed to enable twenty-four people to dine in comfort, held now but a little round table. In his present solitude the big dining-table oppressed old Jolyon; he had caused it to be removed till his son came back. Here in the company of two really good copies of Raphael Madonnas he was wont to dine alone. It was the only disconsolate hour of his day, this summer weather. He had never been a large eater, like that great chap Swithin, or Sylvanus Heythorp, or Anthony Thornworthy, those cronies of past times; and to dine alone, overlooked by the Madonnas, was to him but a sorrowful occupation, which he got through quickly, that he might come to the more spiritual enjoyment of his coffee and cigar. But this evening was a different matter! His eyes twinkled at her across the little table and he spoke of Italy and Switzerland, telling her stories of his travels there, and other experiences which he could no longer recount to his son and grand-daughter because they knew them. This fresh audience was precious to him; he had never become one of those old men who ramble round and round the fields of reminiscence. Himself quickly fatigued by the insensitive, he instinctively avoided fatiguing others, and his natural flirtatiousness towards beauty guarded him specially in his relations with a woman. He would have liked to draw her out, but though she murmured and smiled and seemed to be enjoying what he told her, he remained conscious of that mysterious remoteness which constituted half her fascination. He could not bear women who threw their shoulders and eyes at you, and chattered away; or hard-mouthed women who laid down the law and knew more than you did. There was only one quality in a woman that appealed to him—charm; and the quieter it was, the more he liked it. And this one had charm, shadowy as afternoon sunlight on those Italian hills and valleys he had loved. The feeling, too, that she was, as it were, apart, cloistered, made her seem nearer to himself, a strangely desirable companion. When a man is very old and quite out of the running, he loves to feel secure from the rivalries of youth, for he would still be first in the heart of beauty. And he drank his hock, and watched her lips, and felt nearly young. But the dog Balthasar lay watching her lips too, and despising in his heart the interruptions of their talk, and the tilting of those greenish glasses full of a golden fluid which was distasteful to him.

He offered her his arm, and together they walked solemnly. The room, meant to seat twenty-four people comfortably, now only held a small round table. In his current loneliness, the large dining table weighed heavily on old Jolyon; he had had it removed until his son returned. Here, surrounded by two beautiful copies of Raphael's Madonnas, he usually dined alone. This was the only truly disheartening hour of his day during the summer. He had never been a big eater, unlike that enormous guy Swithin, or Sylvanus Heythorp, or Anthony Thornworthy, those friends from earlier days; dining alone under the watchful gaze of the Madonnas felt like a sad task, which he rushed through to reach the more enjoyable part of his evening: coffee and a cigar. But tonight was different! His eyes sparkled at her across the small table as he talked about Italy and Switzerland, sharing stories from his travels and other experiences he could no longer recount to his son and granddaughter because they already knew them. This new audience was precious to him; he had never become one of those elderly men who endlessly revisit the same memories. Easily bored by the unresponsive, he naturally avoided tiring out others, and his instinctive charm towards beauty made his interactions with women particularly special. He wanted to draw her out, but while she murmured, smiled, and seemed to enjoy his stories, he was still aware of the mysterious distance that contributed to her allure. He couldn’t stand women who flaunted themselves and chattered endlessly, or those who were overly opinionated and thought they knew more than he did. There was only one trait in a woman that appealed to him—charm; the quieter it was, the more he appreciated it. And this woman had charm, as subtle as afternoon sunlight filtering over the Italian hills and valleys he cherished. The impression that she was, in a way, apart and reserved, made her feel closer to him, a strangely desirable companion. When a man is very old and completely out of the game, he loves to feel safe from the competitions of youth, wishing to remain first in the affection of beauty. He sipped his hock, watched her lips, and felt nearly young. But the dog Balthasar was also watching her lips, secretly disdainful of their interrupted conversations and the tilting of those greenish glasses filled with a golden liquid that he found unpleasant.

The light was just failing when they went back into the music-room. And, cigar in mouth, old Jolyon said:

The light was just fading when they went back into the music room. And, cigar in mouth, old Jolyon said:

“Play me some Chopin.”

“Play me some Chopin.”

By the cigars they smoke, and the composers they love, ye shall know the texture of men's souls. Old Jolyon could not bear a strong cigar or Wagner's music. He loved Beethoven and Mozart, Handel and Gluck, and Schumann, and, for some occult reason, the operas of Meyerbeer; but of late years he had been seduced by Chopin, just as in painting he had succumbed to Botticelli. In yielding to these tastes he had been conscious of divergence from the standard of the Golden Age. Their poetry was not that of Milton and Byron and Tennyson; of Raphael and Titian; Mozart and Beethoven. It was, as it were, behind a veil; their poetry hit no one in the face, but slipped its fingers under the ribs and turned and twisted, and melted up the heart. And, never certain that this was healthy, he did not care a rap so long as he could see the pictures of the one or hear the music of the other.

By the cigars they smoke and the composers they love, you can understand the essence of a man's soul. Old Jolyon couldn't stand strong cigars or Wagner's music. He preferred Beethoven and Mozart, Handel and Gluck, and Schumann, and for some mysterious reason, he liked the operas of Meyerbeer; but in recent years, he had been captivated by Chopin, just as in art he had fallen for Botticelli. In embracing these tastes, he was aware that he was straying from the standards of the Golden Age. Their art didn't have the same impact as that of Milton, Byron, and Tennyson; or Raphael and Titian; or Mozart and Beethoven. It was, in a way, behind a curtain; their art didn’t hit you squarely in the face but snuck its fingers under your ribs, twisting and turning, and melting your heart. And, never sure if this was healthy, he didn’t care at all as long as he could enjoy the paintings of one or listen to the music of the other.

Irene sat down at the piano under the electric lamp festooned with pearl-grey, and old Jolyon, in an armchair, whence he could see her, crossed his legs and drew slowly at his cigar. She sat a few moments with her hands on the keys, evidently searching her mind for what to give him. Then she began and within old Jolyon there arose a sorrowful pleasure, not quite like anything else in the world. He fell slowly into a trance, interrupted only by the movements of taking the cigar out of his mouth at long intervals, and replacing it. She was there, and the hock within him, and the scent of tobacco; but there, too, was a world of sunshine lingering into moonlight, and pools with storks upon them, and bluish trees above, glowing with blurs of wine-red roses, and fields of lavender where milk-white cows were grazing, and a woman all shadowy, with dark eyes and a white neck, smiled, holding out her arms; and through air which was like music a star dropped and was caught on a cow's horn. He opened his eyes. Beautiful piece; she played well—the touch of an angel! And he closed them again. He felt miraculously sad and happy, as one does, standing under a lime-tree in full honey flower. Not live one's own life again, but just stand there and bask in the smile of a woman's eyes, and enjoy the bouquet! And he jerked his hand; the dog Balthasar had reached up and licked it.

Irene sat down at the piano under a lamp draped in pearl-gray. Old Jolyon, in an armchair where he could see her, crossed his legs and slowly took a puff from his cigar. She lingered for a moment with her hands on the keys, clearly searching for what to play for him. Then she started, and within old Jolyon, a bittersweet pleasure arose, something unlike anything else in the world. He slowly drifted into a trance, only interrupted by the occasional act of taking the cigar out of his mouth and putting it back in. She was there, along with the wine inside him and the smell of tobacco; but there was also a world of sunshine fading into moonlight, pools with storks standing by, bluish trees adorned with splashes of wine-red roses, and fields of lavender where milk-white cows grazed. A shadowy woman with dark eyes and a white neck smiled, reaching out her arms; and in the music-like air, a star fell and landed on a cow's horn. He opened his eyes. What a beautiful piece; she played beautifully—the touch of an angel! And he closed his eyes again. He felt a miraculous blend of sadness and happiness, like standing under a lime tree in full bloom. Not reliving his own life, but just standing there and soaking in the smile of a woman's eyes, and enjoying the moment! Suddenly, he jerked his hand; the dog Balthasar had reached up and licked it.

“Beautiful!” He said: “Go on—more Chopin!”

“Beautiful!” he said. “Keep going—more Chopin!”

She began to play again. This time the resemblance between her and 'Chopin' struck him. The swaying he had noticed in her walk was in her playing too, and the Nocturne she had chosen and the soft darkness of her eyes, the light on her hair, as of moonlight from a golden moon. Seductive, yes; but nothing of Delilah in her or in that music. A long blue spiral from his cigar ascended and dispersed. 'So we go out!' he thought. 'No more beauty! Nothing?'

She started playing again. This time, the similarity between her and 'Chopin' hit him. The sway he had seen in her walk was also in her playing, and the Nocturne she picked, along with the soft darkness of her eyes and the light on her hair, looked like moonlight from a golden moon. Seductive, yes; but there was nothing of Delilah in her or in that music. A long blue spiral from his cigar rose and faded away. 'So we go out!' he thought. 'No more beauty! Nothing?'

Again Irene stopped.

Irene stopped again.

“Would you like some Gluck? He used to write his music in a sunlit garden, with a bottle of Rhine wine beside him.”

“Would you like some Gluck? He used to compose his music in a sunny garden, with a bottle of Rhine wine next to him.”

“Ah! yes. Let's have 'Orfeo.'.rdquo; Round about him now were fields of gold and silver flowers, white forms swaying in the sunlight, bright birds flying to and fro. All was summer. Lingering waves of sweetness and regret flooded his soul. Some cigar ash dropped, and taking out a silk handkerchief to brush it off, he inhaled a mingled scent as of snuff and eau de Cologne. 'Ah!' he thought, 'Indian summer—that's all!' and he said: “You haven't played me 'Che faro.'.rdquo;

“Ah! yes. Let's hear 'Orfeo.'” Surrounding him now were fields of golden and silver flowers, white figures swaying in the sunlight, bright birds flitting back and forth. It was all summer. Lingering waves of sweetness and regret filled his soul. Some cigar ash fell, and as he took out a silk handkerchief to brush it off, he inhaled a mixed scent of snuff and cologne. “Ah!” he thought, “Indian summer—that's all!” and he said, “You haven't played me 'Che faro.'”

She did not answer; did not move. He was conscious of something—some strange upset. Suddenly he saw her rise and turn away, and a pang of remorse shot through him. What a clumsy chap! Like Orpheus, she of course—she too was looking for her lost one in the hall of memory! And disturbed to the heart, he got up from his chair. She had gone to the great window at the far end. Gingerly he followed. Her hands were folded over her breast; he could just see her cheek, very white. And, quite emotionalized, he said:

She didn’t respond; she didn’t move. He felt something—some strange tension. Suddenly, he saw her get up and turn away, and a wave of guilt hit him. What a clumsy guy! Like Orpheus, she was obviously looking for her lost one in the hallway of memory! Feeling deeply troubled, he stood up from his chair. She had walked to the big window at the far end. Carefully, he followed her. Her hands were crossed over her chest; he could just see her cheek, very pale. And, feeling emotional, he said:

“There, there, my love!” The words had escaped him mechanically, for they were those he used to Holly when she had a pain, but their effect was instantaneously distressing. She raised her arms, covered her face with them, and wept.

“There, there, my love!” He said it without thinking, as it was something he told Holly whenever she was in pain, but it immediately caused her distress. She lifted her arms, buried her face in them, and cried.

Old Jolyon stood gazing at her with eyes very deep from age. The passionate shame she seemed feeling at her abandonment, so unlike the control and quietude of her whole presence was as if she had never before broken down in the presence of another being.

Old Jolyon stood staring at her with eyes that held the weight of age. The deep shame she seemed to feel from being left behind, so different from the calm and poise of her entire demeanor, was as if she had never before let herself break down in front of anyone else.

“There, there—there, there!” he murmured, and putting his hand out reverently, touched her. She turned, and leaned the arms which covered her face against him. Old Jolyon stood very still, keeping one thin hand on her shoulder. Let her cry her heart out—it would do her good.

“There, there—there, there!” he murmured, and reaching out gently, touched her. She turned and leaned her arms, which were covering her face, against him. Old Jolyon stood very still, resting one thin hand on her shoulder. Let her cry it out—it would be good for her.

And the dog Balthasar, puzzled, sat down on his stern to examine them.

And the dog Balthasar, confused, sat down on his rear to take a look at them.

The window was still open, the curtains had not been drawn, the last of daylight from without mingled with faint intrusion from the lamp within; there was a scent of new-mown grass. With the wisdom of a long life old Jolyon did not speak. Even grief sobbed itself out in time; only Time was good for sorrow—Time who saw the passing of each mood, each emotion in turn; Time the layer-to-rest. There came into his mind the words: 'As panteth the hart after cooling streams'—but they were of no use to him. Then, conscious of a scent of violets, he knew she was drying her eyes. He put his chin forward, pressed his moustache against her forehead, and felt her shake with a quivering of her whole body, as of a tree which shakes itself free of raindrops. She put his hand to her lips, as if saying: “All over now! Forgive me!”

The window was still open, the curtains hadn’t been drawn, and the last bit of daylight outside mixed with the soft glow from the lamp inside; there was a smell of freshly cut grass. With the wisdom of his long life, old Jolyon stayed silent. Even grief eventually fades; only Time is helpful for sorrow—Time that watches each feeling fade away in turn; Time, the comforter. The words came to his mind: 'As the deer longs for water'—but they didn’t mean anything to him. Then, noticing the scent of violets, he realized she was drying her tears. He leaned in, pressed his mustache against her forehead, and felt her body shake, like a tree shaking off raindrops. She brought his hand to her lips, as if saying: “It's all over now! Forgive me!”

The kiss filled him with a strange comfort; he led her back to where she had been so upset. And the dog Balthasar, following, laid the bone of one of the cutlets they had eaten at their feet.

The kiss brought him a weird sense of comfort; he took her back to where she had been so upset. And the dog Balthasar, trailing behind, dropped the bone from one of the cutlets they had eaten at their feet.

Anxious to obliterate the memory of that emotion, he could think of nothing better than china; and moving with her slowly from cabinet to cabinet, he kept taking up bits of Dresden and Lowestoft and Chelsea, turning them round and round with his thin, veined hands, whose skin, faintly freckled, had such an aged look.

Eager to erase the memory of that feeling, he could think of nothing better than fine china; and as he moved slowly with her from cabinet to cabinet, he kept picking up pieces of Dresden, Lowestoft, and Chelsea, turning them over and over with his thin, veined hands, which, lightly freckled, had such an old appearance.

“I bought this at Jobson's,” he would say; “cost me thirty pounds. It's very old. That dog leaves his bones all over the place. This old 'ship-bowl' I picked up at the sale when that precious rip, the Marquis, came to grief. But you don't remember. Here's a nice piece of Chelsea. Now, what would you say this was?” And he was comforted, feeling that, with her taste, she was taking a real interest in these things; for, after all, nothing better composes the nerves than a doubtful piece of china.

“I got this at Jobson's,” he would say; “cost me thirty pounds. It's really old. That dog leaves his bones everywhere. I found this old 'ship-bowl' at the auction when that pretentious guy, the Marquis, got into trouble. But you probably don't remember. Here's a nice piece of Chelsea. Now, what do you think this is?” And he felt reassured, thinking that, with her taste, she was genuinely interested in these things; after all, nothing calms the nerves better than a questionable piece of china.

When the crunch of the carriage wheels was heard at last, he said:

When the sound of the carriage wheels was finally heard, he said:

“You must come again; you must come to lunch, then I can show you these by daylight, and my little sweet—she's a dear little thing. This dog seems to have taken a fancy to you.”

“You have to come back; you have to come for lunch, then I can show you these in the daylight, and my little sweetheart—she's such a darling. This dog seems to have taken a liking to you.”

For Balthasar, feeling that she was about to leave, was rubbing his side against her leg. Going out under the porch with her, he said:

For Balthasar, sensing that she was about to leave, was rubbing his side against her leg. Stepping out under the porch with her, he said:

“He'll get you up in an hour and a quarter. Take this for your protegees,” and he slipped a cheque for fifty pounds into her hand. He saw her brightened eyes, and heard her murmur: “Oh! Uncle Jolyon!” and a real throb of pleasure went through him. That meant one or two poor creatures helped a little, and it meant that she would come again. He put his hand in at the window and grasped hers once more. The carriage rolled away. He stood looking at the moon and the shadows of the trees, and thought: 'A sweet night! She...!'

“He'll have you ready in an hour and fifteen minutes. Take this for your students,” and he slipped a check for fifty pounds into her hand. He saw her brightened eyes and heard her murmur: “Oh! Uncle Jolyon!” and a real wave of pleasure washed over him. That meant one or two less fortunate people would be helped a little, and it meant she would come back again. He reached through the window and held her hand once more. The carriage rolled away. He stood gazing at the moon and the shadows of the trees, thinking: 'What a lovely night! She...!'





II

Two days of rain, and summer set in bland and sunny. Old Jolyon walked and talked with Holly. At first he felt taller and full of a new vigour; then he felt restless. Almost every afternoon they would enter the coppice, and walk as far as the log. 'Well, she's not there!' he would think, 'of course not!' And he would feel a little shorter, and drag his feet walking up the hill home, with his hand clapped to his left side. Now and then the thought would move in him: 'Did she come—or did I dream it?' and he would stare at space, while the dog Balthasar stared at him. Of course she would not come again! He opened the letters from Spain with less excitement. They were not returning till July; he felt, oddly, that he could bear it. Every day at dinner he screwed up his eyes and looked at where she had sat. She was not there, so he unscrewed his eyes again.

Two days of rain, and summer arrived dull and sunny. Old Jolyon walked and talked with Holly. At first, he felt taller and full of new energy; then he started to feel restless. Almost every afternoon, they would enter the small wood and walk as far as the log. 'Well, she’s not here!' he would think, 'of course not!' And he would feel a bit shorter, dragging his feet walking up the hill home, with his hand pressed to his left side. Now and then, the thought would cross his mind: 'Did she come—or was it just a dream?' He would stare into space while the dog Balthasar stared at him. Of course, she wouldn’t come again! He opened the letters from Spain with less excitement. They weren’t coming back until July; oddly enough, he felt that he could handle it. Every day at dinner, he squinted and looked at where she used to sit. She wasn’t there, so he relaxed his eyes again.

On the seventh afternoon he thought: 'I must go up and get some boots.' He ordered Beacon, and set out. Passing from Putney towards Hyde Park he reflected: 'I might as well go to Chelsea and see her.' And he called out: “Just drive me to where you took that lady the other night.” The coachman turned his broad red face, and his juicy lips answered: “The lady in grey, sir?”

On the seventh afternoon, he thought, "I should go get some boots." He called for a cab and set off. As he rode from Putney towards Hyde Park, he thought, "I might as well go to Chelsea and see her." He said, "Just take me to where you dropped off that lady the other night." The driver turned his large red face toward him, his full lips replied, "The lady in gray, sir?"

“Yes, the lady in grey.” What other ladies were there! Stodgy chap!

“Yes, the lady in gray.” What other ladies could there be! Stuffy guy!

The carriage stopped before a small three-storied block of flats, standing a little back from the river. With a practised eye old Jolyon saw that they were cheap. 'I should think about sixty pound a year,' he mused; and entering, he looked at the name-board. The name 'Forsyte' was not on it, but against 'First Floor, Flat C' were the words: 'Mrs. Irene Heron.' Ah! She had taken her maiden name again! And somehow this pleased him. He went upstairs slowly, feeling his side a little. He stood a moment, before ringing, to lose the feeling of drag and fluttering there. She would not be in! And then—Boots! The thought was black. What did he want with boots at his age? He could not wear out all those he had.

The carriage stopped in front of a small three-story apartment building, set back a bit from the river. With a practiced eye, old Jolyon noticed that they were inexpensive. "I’d guess around sixty pounds a year," he thought. Entering, he checked the name board. The name "Forsyte" wasn’t listed, but next to "First Floor, Flat C" were the words: "Mrs. Irene Heron." Ah! She had taken her maiden name back! Somehow, this made him happy. He slowly made his way upstairs, feeling a bit of discomfort in his side. He paused for a moment before ringing the bell to shake off the feeling of heaviness and fluttering there. She probably wouldn’t be home! And then—boots! That thought was dark. What did he need with boots at his age? He couldn’t possibly wear out all the ones he already had.

“Your mistress at home?”

"Is your girlfriend at home?"

“Yes, sir.”

"Yes, sir."

“Say Mr. Jolyon Forsyte.”

“Call Mr. Jolyon Forsyte.”

“Yes, sir, will you come this way?”

“Yes, sir, please follow me this way.”

Old Jolyon followed a very little maid—not more than sixteen one would say—into a very small drawing-room where the sun-blinds were drawn. It held a cottage piano and little else save a vague fragrance and good taste. He stood in the middle, with his top hat in his hand, and thought: 'I expect she's very badly off!' There was a mirror above the fireplace, and he saw himself reflected. An old-looking chap! He heard a rustle, and turned round. She was so close that his moustache almost brushed her forehead, just under her hair.

Old Jolyon followed a tiny maid—she couldn't have been more than sixteen—into a small living room where the sunshades were pulled down. It had a cottage piano and not much else, just a faint scent and good style. He stood in the center, holding his top hat, and thought, 'I bet she's really struggling!' There was a mirror above the fireplace, and he saw his reflection. An old-looking guy! He heard a rustle and turned around. She was so close that his mustache nearly touched her forehead, just under her hair.

“I was driving up,” he said. “Thought I'd look in on you, and ask you how you got up the other night.”

“I was driving up,” he said. “I thought I’d check in on you and see how you managed the other night.”

And, seeing her smile, he felt suddenly relieved. She was really glad to see him, perhaps.

And when he saw her smile, he felt an unexpected sense of relief. She was truly happy to see him, maybe.

“Would you like to put on your hat and come for a drive in the Park?”

“Do you want to put on your hat and go for a drive in the park?”

But while she was gone to put her hat on, he frowned. The Park! James and Emily! Mrs. Nicholas, or some other member of his precious family would be there very likely, prancing up and down. And they would go and wag their tongues about having seen him with her, afterwards. Better not! He did not wish to revive the echoes of the past on Forsyte 'Change. He removed a white hair from the lapel of his closely-buttoned-up frock coat, and passed his hand over his cheeks, moustache, and square chin. It felt very hollow there under the cheekbones. He had not been eating much lately—he had better get that little whippersnapper who attended Holly to give him a tonic. But she had come back and when they were in the carriage, he said:

But while she was gone to put on her hat, he frowned. The Park! James and Emily! Mrs. Nicholas, or some other member of his precious family would probably be there, strutting around. And they would gossip about having seen him with her later. Better not! He didn’t want to stir up old memories on Forsyte 'Change. He brushed a white hair from the lapel of his tightly buttoned frock coat and ran his hand over his cheeks, mustache, and square chin. It felt very hollow there under his cheekbones. He hadn’t been eating much lately—he should get that young assistant who looked after Holly to give him a tonic. But she had come back, and when they were in the carriage, he said:

“Suppose we go and sit in Kensington Gardens instead?” and added with a twinkle: “No prancing up and down there,” as if she had been in the secret of his thoughts.

“Why don’t we go sit in Kensington Gardens instead?” she suggested with a playful glint in her eye. “No prancing around there,” she added, as if she knew what he was thinking.

Leaving the carriage, they entered those select precincts, and strolled towards the water.

Leaving the carriage, they entered those exclusive areas and walked toward the water.

“You've gone back to your maiden name, I see,” he said: “I'm not sorry.”

“You've gone back to your maiden name, I see,” he said. “I’m not sorry.”

She slipped her hand under his arm: “Has June forgiven me, Uncle Jolyon?”

She slipped her hand under his arm. “Has June forgiven me, Uncle Jolyon?”

He answered gently: “Yes—yes; of course, why not?”

He replied softly, "Yes—yes; of course, why not?"

“And have you?”

"Have you?"

“I? I forgave you as soon as I saw how the land really lay.” And perhaps he had; his instinct had always been to forgive the beautiful.

“I? I forgave you as soon as I saw how things really were.” And maybe he had; his instinct had always been to forgive those who were beautiful.

She drew a deep breath. “I never regretted—I couldn't. Did you ever love very deeply, Uncle Jolyon?”

She took a deep breath. “I never regretted it—I couldn't. Have you ever loved really deeply, Uncle Jolyon?”

At that strange question old Jolyon stared before him. Had he? He did not seem to remember that he ever had. But he did not like to say this to the young woman whose hand was touching his arm, whose life was suspended, as it were, by memory of a tragic love. And he thought: 'If I had met you when I was young I—I might have made a fool of myself, perhaps.' And a longing to escape in generalities beset him.

At that strange question, old Jolyon stared ahead. Had he? He didn’t really remember ever having. But he didn’t want to tell the young woman whose hand was on his arm, whose life seemed to hang on the memory of a tragic love. And he thought, 'If I had met you when I was younger, I—I might have embarrassed myself, maybe.' A desire to escape into generalities overwhelmed him.

“Love's a queer thing,” he said, “fatal thing often. It was the Greeks—wasn't it?—made love into a goddess; they were right, I dare say, but then they lived in the Golden Age.”

“Love's a strange thing,” he said, “often a deadly thing. It was the Greeks—wasn't it?—who turned love into a goddess; they were right, I suppose, but then they lived in the Golden Age.”

“Phil adored them.”

“Phil loved them.”

Phil! The word jarred him, for suddenly—with his power to see all round a thing, he perceived why she was putting up with him like this. She wanted to talk about her lover! Well! If it was any pleasure to her! And he said: “Ah! There was a bit of the sculptor in him, I fancy.”

Phil! The word startled him, as suddenly—thanks to his ability to see everything from all angles—he realized why she was putting up with him like this. She wanted to talk about her boyfriend! Well! If that made her happy! And he said: “Ah! There was a bit of the sculptor in him, I think.”

“Yes. He loved balance and symmetry; he loved the whole-hearted way the Greeks gave themselves to art.”

“Yes. He loved balance and symmetry; he loved how fully the Greeks committed themselves to art.”

Balance! The chap had no balance at all, if he remembered; as for symmetry—clean-built enough he was, no doubt; but those queer eyes of his, and high cheek-bones—Symmetry?

Balance! The guy had no balance at all, if he recalled; as for symmetry—he was built well enough, no doubt; but those strange eyes of his and high cheekbones—Symmetry?

“You're of the Golden Age, too, Uncle Jolyon.”

“You're from the Golden Age as well, Uncle Jolyon.”

Old Jolyon looked round at her. Was she chaffing him? No, her eyes were soft as velvet. Was she flattering him? But if so, why? There was nothing to be had out of an old chap like him.

Old Jolyon looked at her. Was she teasing him? No, her eyes were soft like velvet. Was she flattering him? But if so, why? There was nothing to gain from an old guy like him.

“Phil thought so. He used to say: 'But I can never tell him that I admire him.'.rdquo;

“Phil thought so. He used to say, 'But I can never tell him that I admire him.'”

Ah! There it was again. Her dead lover; her desire to talk of him! And he pressed her arm, half resentful of those memories, half grateful, as if he recognised what a link they were between herself and him.

Ah! There it was again. Her dead lover; her longing to talk about him! And he pressed her arm, feeling both annoyed by those memories and thankful, as if he understood what a connection they were between her and him.

“He was a very talented young fellow,” he murmured. “It's hot; I feel the heat nowadays. Let's sit down.”

“He was a really talented young guy,” he said softly. “It's hot; I can feel the heat these days. Let's sit down.”

They took two chairs beneath a chestnut tree whose broad leaves covered them from the peaceful glory of the afternoon. A pleasure to sit there and watch her, and feel that she liked to be with him. And the wish to increase that liking, if he could, made him go on:

They sat down on two chairs under a chestnut tree whose wide leaves shielded them from the serene beauty of the afternoon. It was nice to sit there and watch her, feeling that she enjoyed being with him. The desire to deepen that affection, if possible, motivated him to continue:

“I expect he showed you a side of him I never saw. He'd be at his best with you. His ideas of art were a little new—to me “—he had stiffed the word 'fangled.'

“I expect he showed you a side of him I never saw. He'd be at his best with you. His ideas of art were a little new—to me”—he had dropped the word 'fangled.'

“Yes: but he used to say you had a real sense of beauty.” Old Jolyon thought: 'The devil he did!' but answered with a twinkle: “Well, I have, or I shouldn't be sitting here with you.” She was fascinating when she smiled with her eyes, like that!

“Yes: but he used to say you had a real sense of beauty.” Old Jolyon thought, 'No way he did!' but replied with a glint in his eye: “Well, I do, or I wouldn't be sitting here with you.” She was captivating when she smiled with her eyes like that!

“He thought you had one of those hearts that never grow old. Phil had real insight.”

“He thought you had one of those hearts that never age. Phil really understood.”

He was not taken in by this flattery spoken out of the past, out of a longing to talk of her dead lover—not a bit; and yet it was precious to hear, because she pleased his eyes and heart which—quite true!—had never grown old. Was that because—unlike her and her dead lover, he had never loved to desperation, had always kept his balance, his sense of symmetry. Well! It had left him power, at eighty-four, to admire beauty. And he thought, 'If I were a painter or a sculptor! But I'm an old chap. Make hay while the sun shines.'

He wasn't fooled by the flattery that came from nostalgia, a desire to talk about her late partner—not at all; but it was nice to hear, because she captured his attention and affection which—it's true!—had never aged. Was that because—unlike her and her late partner—he had never loved to the point of despair, always maintaining his balance and sense of harmony? Well! It had given him the ability, at eighty-four, to appreciate beauty. And he thought, 'If only I were a painter or a sculptor! But I'm just an old guy. Enjoy the moment while you can.'

A couple with arms entwined crossed on the grass before them, at the edge of the shadow from their tree. The sunlight fell cruelly on their pale, squashed, unkempt young faces. “We're an ugly lot!” said old Jolyon suddenly. “It amazes me to see how—love triumphs over that.”

A couple with their arms wrapped around each other walked across the grass in front of them, on the edge of the shade from their tree. The sunlight harshly illuminated their pale, messy, young faces. “We’re a pretty ugly bunch!” old Jolyon suddenly exclaimed. “It’s surprising to see how—love overcomes that.”

“Love triumphs over everything!”

“Love conquers all!”

“The young think so,” he muttered.

“The young think so,” he muttered.

“Love has no age, no limit, and no death.”

“Love knows no age, no boundaries, and no end.”

With that glow in her pale face, her breast heaving, her eyes so large and dark and soft, she looked like Venus come to life! But this extravagance brought instant reaction, and, twinkling, he said: “Well, if it had limits, we shouldn't be born; for by George! it's got a lot to put up with.”

With that glow on her pale face, her chest rising and falling, her eyes so big and dark and soft, she looked like Venus brought to life! But this extravagance got an immediate reaction, and, with a sparkle in his eye, he said, “Well, if it had limits, we shouldn’t be born; because, man! it’s got a lot to deal with.”

Then, removing his top hat, he brushed it round with a cuff. The great clumsy thing heated his forehead; in these days he often got a rush of blood to the head—his circulation was not what it had been.

Then, taking off his top hat, he wiped it with his sleeve. The heavy hat made his forehead feel hot; these days he often felt lightheaded—his circulation wasn't what it used to be.

She still sat gazing straight before her, and suddenly she murmured:

She remained sitting, staring straight ahead, and suddenly she whispered:

“It's strange enough that I'm alive.”

“It's weird enough that I'm alive.”

Those words of Jo's 'Wild and lost' came back to him.

Those words from Jo's "Wild and lost" came back to him.

“Ah!” he said: “my son saw you for a moment—that day.”

“Ah!” he said, “My son caught a glimpse of you that day.”

“Was it your son? I heard a voice in the hall; I thought for a second it was—Phil.”

“Was that your son? I heard a voice in the hallway; for a moment, I thought it was—Phil.”

Old Jolyon saw her lips tremble. She put her hand over them, took it away again, and went on calmly: “That night I went to the Embankment; a woman caught me by the dress. She told me about herself. When one knows that others suffer, one's ashamed.”

Old Jolyon saw her lips quiver. She covered them with her hand, then removed it and continued calmly: “That night I went to the Embankment; a woman grabbed my dress. She shared her story with me. When you realize that others are suffering, you feel ashamed.”

“One of those?”

"Is that one?"

She nodded, and horror stirred within old Jolyon, the horror of one who has never known a struggle with desperation. Almost against his will he muttered: “Tell me, won't you?”

She nodded, and a sense of dread welled up inside old Jolyon, the dread of someone who has never faced a fight against despair. Almost involuntarily, he murmured, “Please, tell me, won’t you?”

“I didn't care whether I lived or died. When you're like that, Fate ceases to want to kill you. She took care of me three days—she never left me. I had no money. That's why I do what I can for them, now.”

“I didn't care if I lived or died. When you feel that way, Fate stops wanting to get rid of you. She looked after me for three days—never leaving my side. I had no money. That's why I do what I can for them now.”

But old Jolyon was thinking: 'No money!' What fate could compare with that? Every other was involved in it.

But old Jolyon was thinking: 'No money!' What could be worse than that? Everything else was tied up in it.

“I wish you had come to me,” he said. “Why didn't you?” But Irene did not answer.

“I wish you had come to me,” he said. “Why didn’t you?” But Irene didn’t respond.

“Because my name was Forsyte, I suppose? Or was it June who kept you away? How are you getting on now?” His eyes involuntarily swept her body. Perhaps even now she was—! And yet she wasn't thin—not really!

“Was it because my last name is Forsyte? Or was it June who kept you from coming around? How are you doing now?” His eyes unavoidably scanned her body. Maybe even now she was—! And yet she wasn't thin—not really!

“Oh! with my fifty pounds a year, I make just enough.” The answer did not reassure him; he had lost confidence. And that fellow Soames! But his sense of justice stifled condemnation. No, she would certainly have died rather than take another penny from him. Soft as she looked, there must be strength in her somewhere—strength and fidelity. But what business had young Bosinney to have got run over and left her stranded like this!

“Oh! with my fifty pounds a year, I make just enough.” The answer didn’t reassure him; he had lost confidence. And that guy Soames! But his sense of fairness held back any judgment. No, she would definitely have rather died than take another penny from him. As gentle as she seemed, there must be some strength in her—strength and loyalty. But what right did young Bosinney have to get run over and leave her stuck like this!

“Well, you must come to me now,” he said, “for anything you want, or I shall be quite cut up.” And putting on his hat, he rose. “Let's go and get some tea. I told that lazy chap to put the horses up for an hour, and come for me at your place. We'll take a cab presently; I can't walk as I used to.”

“Well, you have to come to me now,” he said, “for anything you want, or I’ll be really upset.” And putting on his hat, he stood up. “Let’s go get some tea. I told that lazy guy to put the horses away for an hour and come pick me up at your place. We’ll take a cab soon; I can’t walk like I used to.”

He enjoyed that stroll to the Kensington end of the gardens—the sound of her voice, the glancing of her eyes, the subtle beauty of a charming form moving beside him. He enjoyed their tea at Ruffel's in the High Street, and came out thence with a great box of chocolates swung on his little finger. He enjoyed the drive back to Chelsea in a hansom, smoking his cigar. She had promised to come down next Sunday and play to him again, and already in thought he was plucking carnations and early roses for her to carry back to town. It was a pleasure to give her a little pleasure, if it WERE pleasure from an old chap like him! The carriage was already there when they arrived. Just like that fellow, who was always late when he was wanted! Old Jolyon went in for a minute to say good-bye. The little dark hall of the flat was impregnated with a disagreeable odour of patchouli, and on a bench against the wall—its only furniture—he saw a figure sitting. He heard Irene say softly: “Just one minute.” In the little drawing-room when the door was shut, he asked gravely: “One of your protegees?”

He enjoyed that walk to the Kensington end of the gardens—the sound of her voice, the way her eyes sparkled, the subtle beauty of her charming figure moving beside him. He enjoyed their tea at Ruffel's on the High Street and came out with a big box of chocolates dangling from his little finger. He enjoyed the ride back to Chelsea in a cab, smoking his cigar. She had promised to come down next Sunday and play for him again, and in his mind, he was already picking carnations and early roses for her to take back to the city. It was a pleasure to give her a bit of joy, if it could even be called joy from an old guy like him! The carriage was already there when they arrived. Just like that guy, who was always late when he was needed! Old Jolyon went in for a minute to say goodbye. The small dark hallway of the flat was filled with a disagreeable smell of patchouli, and on a bench against the wall—its only piece of furniture—he saw a figure sitting. He heard Irene say softly: “Just one minute.” In the small drawing-room when the door was shut, he asked seriously: “One of your proteges?”

“Yes. Now thanks to you, I can do something for her.”

“Yes. Now, thanks to you, I can do something for her.”

He stood, staring, and stroking that chin whose strength had frightened so many in its time. The idea of her thus actually in contact with this outcast grieved and frightened him. What could she do for them? Nothing. Only soil and make trouble for herself, perhaps. And he said: “Take care, my dear! The world puts the worst construction on everything.”

He stood there, staring and rubbing his chin, which had intimidated so many in its day. The thought of her being in contact with this outcast upset and scared him. What could she possibly do for them? Nothing. She would only cause herself more problems. And he said, “Be careful, my dear! People tend to think the worst of everything.”

“I know that.”

“I know that.”

He was abashed by her quiet smile. “Well then—Sunday,” he murmured: “Good-bye.”

He felt embarrassed by her soft smile. “Alright then—Sunday,” he said quietly: “Goodbye.”

She put her cheek forward for him to kiss.

She leaned her cheek in for him to kiss.

“Good-bye,” he said again; “take care of yourself.” And he went out, not looking towards the figure on the bench. He drove home by way of Hammersmith; that he might stop at a place he knew of and tell them to send her in two dozen of their best Burgundy. She must want picking-up sometimes! Only in Richmond Park did he remember that he had gone up to order himself some boots, and was surprised that he could have had so paltry an idea.

“Goodbye,” he said again; “take care of yourself.” And he left, not looking at the person on the bench. He drove home through Hammersmith so he could stop at a place he knew and ask them to send her two dozen of their best Burgundy. She must want to be picked up sometimes! Only in Richmond Park did he remember that he had gone out to order some boots and was surprised he could have had such a trivial thought.





III

The little spirits of the past which throng an old man's days had never pushed their faces up to his so seldom as in the seventy hours elapsing before Sunday came. The spirit of the future, with the charm of the unknown, put up her lips instead. Old Jolyon was not restless now, and paid no visits to the log, because she was coming to lunch. There is wonderful finality about a meal; it removes a world of doubts, for no one misses meals except for reasons beyond control. He played many games with Holly on the lawn, pitching them up to her who was batting so as to be ready to bowl to Jolly in the holidays. For she was not a Forsyte, but Jolly was—and Forsytes always bat, until they have resigned and reached the age of eighty-five. The dog Balthasar, in attendance, lay on the ball as often as he could, and the page-boy fielded, till his face was like the harvest moon. And because the time was getting shorter, each day was longer and more golden than the last. On Friday night he took a liver pill, his side hurt him rather, and though it was not the liver side, there is no remedy like that. Anyone telling him that he had found a new excitement in life and that excitement was not good for him, would have been met by one of those steady and rather defiant looks of his deep-set iron-grey eyes, which seemed to say: 'I know my own business best.' He always had and always would.

The little spirits of the past that filled an old man's days had never shown their faces to him as rarely as in the seventy hours leading up to Sunday. The spirit of the future, with the allure of the unknown, leaned in instead. Old Jolyon was calm now and didn’t visit the log because she was coming for lunch. There’s something profoundly comforting about a meal; it clears away a lot of uncertainties, since no one skips meals unless there are unavoidable reasons. He played various games with Holly on the lawn, tossing them to her while she batted, getting ready to bowl to Jolly during the holidays. Because she wasn’t a Forsyte, but Jolly was—and Forsytes always play until they retire and reach the age of eighty-five. The dog Balthasar, present as always, lay on the ball as much as he could, and the page-boy fielded, until his face was as round as the harvest moon. And as time grew shorter, each day felt longer and more golden than the last. On Friday night, he took a liver pill since his side was bothering him a bit, and although it wasn’t the liver side, that was the best remedy. Anyone suggesting that he had discovered a new thrill in life and that it wasn’t good for him would have been met with one of those steady and somewhat defiant looks from his deep-set iron-grey eyes, which seemed to say: 'I know my own business best.' He always had, and always would.

On Sunday morning, when Holly had gone with her governess to church, he visited the strawberry beds. There, accompanied by the dog Balthasar, he examined the plants narrowly and succeeded in finding at least two dozen berries which were really ripe. Stooping was not good for him, and he became very dizzy and red in the forehead. Having placed the strawberries in a dish on the dining-table, he washed his hands and bathed his forehead with eau de Cologne. There, before the mirror, it occurred to him that he was thinner. What a 'threadpaper' he had been when he was young! It was nice to be slim—he could not bear a fat chap; and yet perhaps his cheeks were too thin! She was to arrive by train at half-past twelve and walk up, entering from the road past Drage's farm at the far end of the coppice. And, having looked into June's room to see that there was hot water ready, he set forth to meet her, leisurely, for his heart was beating. The air smelled sweet, larks sang, and the Grand Stand at Epsom was visible. A perfect day! On just such a one, no doubt, six years ago, Soames had brought young Bosinney down with him to look at the site before they began to build. It was Bosinney who had pitched on the exact spot for the house—as June had often told him. In these days he was thinking much about that young fellow, as if his spirit were really haunting the field of his last work, on the chance of seeing—her. Bosinney—the one man who had possessed her heart, to whom she had given her whole self with rapture! At his age one could not, of course, imagine such things, but there stirred in him a queer vague aching—as it were the ghost of an impersonal jealousy; and a feeling, too, more generous, of pity for that love so early lost. All over in a few poor months! Well, well! He looked at his watch before entering the coppice—only a quarter past, twenty-five minutes to wait! And then, turning the corner of the path, he saw her exactly where he had seen her the first time, on the log; and realised that she must have come by the earlier train to sit there alone for a couple of hours at least. Two hours of her society missed! What memory could make that log so dear to her? His face showed what he was thinking, for she said at once:

On Sunday morning, while Holly went to church with her governess, he visited the strawberry patch. There, with the dog Balthasar by his side, he carefully examined the plants and managed to find at least two dozen berries that were truly ripe. Bending over wasn’t easy for him, and he started to feel dizzy and flushed. After placing the strawberries in a dish on the dining table, he washed his hands and splashed his forehead with cologne. As he stood in front of the mirror, he realized he looked thinner. What a 'string bean' he had been when he was younger! Being slim was nice—he couldn't stand a chubby guy; but maybe his cheeks were a bit too gaunt! She was set to arrive by train at twelve-thirty and would walk up, coming in from the road past Drage's farm at the far end of the woodland. After checking June's room to ensure there was hot water ready, he made his way to meet her at a relaxed pace, his heart racing. The air was sweet, larks were singing, and he could see the Grand Stand at Epsom. A perfect day! It was likely on a day just like this, six years ago, that Soames had brought young Bosinney down to check out the site before they started building. It was Bosinney who had chosen the exact spot for the house—something June had mentioned many times. Lately, he found himself thinking a lot about that young man, as if his spirit were truly lingering in the field of his last work, hoping to see—her. Bosinney—the one man who had captured her heart, to whom she had given herself completely with joy! At his age, one couldn't really picture such things, but he felt a strange, vague ache—almost like the ghost of an impersonal jealousy; and a more generous feeling of pity for that love lost too soon. All over in just a few brief months! Well, well! He glanced at his watch before entering the grove—only a quarter past, twenty-five minutes to wait! Then, as he turned the corner of the path, he spotted her exactly where he first saw her, on the log; and realized she must have taken the earlier train to sit there alone for at least a couple of hours. Two hours of her company missed! What memory could make that log so special to her? His expression revealed his thoughts, because she immediately said:

“Forgive me, Uncle Jolyon; it was here that I first knew.”

“Forgive me, Uncle Jolyon; it was here that I first understood.”

“Yes, yes; there it is for you whenever you like. You're looking a little Londony; you're giving too many lessons.”

“Yes, yes; it's available for you whenever you want. You look a bit London-ish; you're giving too many lessons.”

That she should have to give lessons worried him. Lessons to a parcel of young girls thumping out scales with their thick fingers.

That she had to give lessons worried him. Teaching a group of young girls banging out scales with their clumsy fingers.

“Where do you go to give them?” he asked.

“Where do you go to give them?” he asked.

“They're mostly Jewish families, luckily.”

“They're mostly Jewish families, thankfully.”

Old Jolyon stared; to all Forsytes Jews seem strange and doubtful.

Old Jolyon stared; to all Forsytes, Jews appear strange and uncertain.

“They love music, and they're very kind.”

“They love music, and they're really nice.”

“They had better be, by George!” He took her arm—his side always hurt him a little going uphill—and said:

“They better be, for sure!” He took her arm—his side always hurt him a bit going uphill—and said:

“Did you ever see anything like those buttercups? They came like that in a night.”

“Have you ever seen anything like those buttercups? They appeared overnight.”

Her eyes seemed really to fly over the field, like bees after the flowers and the honey. “I wanted you to see them—wouldn't let them turn the cows in yet.” Then, remembering that she had come to talk about Bosinney, he pointed to the clock-tower over the stables:

Her eyes looked like they were scanning the field, just like bees going after the flowers and nectar. “I wanted you to see them—I wouldn't let them bring the cows in yet.” Then, remembering that she was there to talk about Bosinney, he gestured toward the clock tower above the stables:

“I expect he wouldn't have let me put that there—had no notion of time, if I remember.”

“I don't think he would have let me put that there—had no sense of time, if I recall.”

But, pressing his arm to her, she talked of flowers instead, and he knew it was done that he might not feel she came because of her dead lover.

But, pressing his arm to her, she talked about flowers instead, and he understood it was done so he wouldn't feel that she was there because of her deceased lover.

“The best flower I can show you,” he said, with a sort of triumph, “is my little sweet. She'll be back from Church directly. There's something about her which reminds me a little of you,” and it did not seem to him peculiar that he had put it thus, instead of saying: “There's something about you which reminds me a little of her.” Ah! And here she was!

“The best flower I can show you,” he said, with a sense of pride, “is my little sweetheart. She’ll be back from Church any minute now. There's something about her that reminds me a little of you,” and he didn’t find it strange that he had phrased it that way, instead of saying: “There's something about you that reminds me a little of her.” Ah! And here she was!

Holly, followed closely by her elderly French governess, whose digestion had been ruined twenty-two years ago in the siege of Strasbourg, came rushing towards them from under the oak tree. She stopped about a dozen yards away, to pat Balthasar and pretend that this was all she had in her mind. Old Jolyon, who knew better, said:

Holly, closely followed by her elderly French governess, whose digestion had been messed up twenty-two years ago during the siege of Strasbourg, rushed toward them from under the oak tree. She stopped about ten yards away to pet Balthasar and pretend that this was all she was thinking about. Old Jolyon, who knew better, said:

“Well, my darling, here's the lady in grey I promised you.”

“Well, my darling, here’s the lady in gray I promised you.”

Holly raised herself and looked up. He watched the two of them with a twinkle, Irene smiling, Holly beginning with grave inquiry, passing into a shy smile too, and then to something deeper. She had a sense of beauty, that child—knew what was what! He enjoyed the sight of the kiss between them.

Holly lifted herself up and looked ahead. She observed the two of them with a sparkle in her eye, Irene smiling, Holly starting with a serious question, then shifting into a shy smile, and finally to something more profound. That child had an appreciation for beauty—she understood things! He loved watching the kiss between them.

“Mrs. Heron, Mam'zelle Beauce. Well, Mam'zelle—good sermon?”

“Mrs. Heron, Mademoiselle Beauce. Well, Mademoiselle—good sermon?”

For, now that he had not much more time before him, the only part of the service connected with this world absorbed what interest in church remained to him. Mam'zelle Beauce stretched out a spidery hand clad in a black kid glove—she had been in the best families—and the rather sad eyes of her lean yellowish face seemed to ask: “Are you well-brrred?” Whenever Holly or Jolly did anything unpleasing to her—a not uncommon occurrence—she would say to them: “The little Tayleurs never did that—they were such well-brrred little children.” Jolly hated the little Tayleurs; Holly wondered dreadfully how it was she fell so short of them. 'A thin rum little soul,' old Jolyon thought her—Mam'zelle Beauce.

For now that he didn't have much time left, the only part of the church service that still interested him was the connection to this world. Mam'zelle Beauce extended a thin, spidery hand covered in a black leather glove—she had been part of high society—and the somewhat sad expression in her lean, yellowish face seemed to ask: “Are you well-bred?” Whenever Holly or Jolly did something she disapproved of—which happened quite often—she would say to them: “The little Tayleurs never did that—they were such well-bred little children.” Jolly disliked the little Tayleurs; Holly felt awful about how she compared to them. "A thin, odd little soul," old Jolyon thought of Mam'zelle Beauce.

Luncheon was a successful meal, the mushrooms which he himself had picked in the mushroom house, his chosen strawberries, and another bottle of the Steinberg cabinet filled him with a certain aromatic spirituality, and a conviction that he would have a touch of eczema to-morrow.

Luncheon was a great meal, with mushrooms he had picked himself from the mushroom house, his favorite strawberries, and another bottle from the Steinberg cabinet. It filled him with a kind of aromatic spirituality and a feeling that he might have a bit of eczema tomorrow.

After lunch they sat under the oak tree drinking Turkish coffee. It was no matter of grief to him when Mademoiselle Beauce withdrew to write her Sunday letter to her sister, whose future had been endangered in the past by swallowing a pin—an event held up daily in warning to the children to eat slowly and digest what they had eaten. At the foot of the bank, on a carriage rug, Holly and the dog Balthasar teased and loved each other, and in the shade old Jolyon with his legs crossed and his cigar luxuriously savoured, gazed at Irene sitting in the swing. A light, vaguely swaying, grey figure with a fleck of sunlight here and there upon it, lips just opened, eyes dark and soft under lids a little drooped. She looked content; surely it did her good to come and see him! The selfishness of age had not set its proper grip on him, for he could still feel pleasure in the pleasure of others, realising that what he wanted, though much, was not quite all that mattered.

After lunch, they sat under the oak tree drinking Turkish coffee. It didn’t bother him when Mademoiselle Beauce left to write her Sunday letter to her sister, whose future had once been threatened by swallowing a pin—an event that was daily used as a warning to the children to eat slowly and digest their food. At the bottom of the hill, on a blanket, Holly and the dog Balthasar played and cuddled with each other, while in the shade, old Jolyon sat with his legs crossed, enjoying his cigar, and looked at Irene on the swing. She was a light, somewhat swaying, grey figure with flecks of sunlight catching here and there, lips slightly parted, and dark, soft eyes under slightly drooping lids. She looked content; surely visiting him was good for her! The selfishness of age hadn’t fully taken hold of him, as he could still find joy in the happiness of others, understanding that while he wanted a lot, it wasn’t everything that mattered.

“It's quiet here,” he said; “you mustn't come down if you find it dull. But it's a pleasure to see you. My little sweet is the only face which gives me any pleasure, except yours.”

“It's quiet here,” he said; “don’t come down if you find it boring. But it's great to see you. My little sweet is the only face that brings me any joy, besides yours.”

From her smile he knew that she was not beyond liking to be appreciated, and this reassured him. “That's not humbug,” he said. “I never told a woman I admired her when I didn't. In fact I don't know when I've told a woman I admired her, except my wife in the old days; and wives are funny.” He was silent, but resumed abruptly:

From her smile, he could tell that she enjoyed being appreciated, which made him feel better. “That’s not fake,” he stated. “I’ve never told a woman I admired her unless I truly meant it. Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I told a woman I admired her, except my wife back in the day; and wives are complicated.” He paused, but then suddenly continued:

“She used to expect me to say it more often than I felt it, and there we were.” Her face looked mysteriously troubled, and, afraid that he had said something painful, he hurried on: “When my little sweet marries, I hope she'll find someone who knows what women feel. I shan't be here to see it, but there's too much topsy-turvydom in marriage; I don't want her to pitch up against that.” And, aware that he had made bad worse, he added: “That dog will scratch.”

“She used to expect me to say it more often than I actually felt it, and there we were.” Her face looked strangely troubled, and, worried that he had said something hurtful, he quickly continued: “When my little girl gets married, I hope she finds someone who understands what women feel. I won’t be here to see it, but there’s too much confusion in marriage; I don’t want her to deal with that.” And, realizing he had only made things worse, he added: “That dog will scratch.”

A silence followed. Of what was she thinking, this pretty creature whose life was spoiled; who had done with love, and yet was made for love? Some day when he was gone, perhaps, she would find another mate—not so disorderly as that young fellow who had got himself run over. Ah! but her husband?

A silence followed. What was she thinking, this beautiful woman whose life was ruined; who had experienced love but was still made for it? Maybe someday, after he was gone, she would find another partner—not as reckless as that young guy who got himself run over. But what about her husband?

“Does Soames never trouble you?” he asked.

“Does Soames never annoy you?” he asked.

She shook her head. Her face had closed up suddenly. For all her softness there was something irreconcilable about her. And a glimpse of light on the inexorable nature of sex antipathies strayed into a brain which, belonging to early Victorian civilisation—so much older than this of his old age—had never thought about such primitive things.

She shook her head. Her expression suddenly turned cold. Despite her gentle demeanor, there was something unyielding about her. And a fleeting insight into the stubborn nature of sexual conflicts entered a mind that, rooted in early Victorian civilization—much older than the one in his old age—had never considered such basic issues.

“That's a comfort,” he said. “You can see the Grand Stand to-day. Shall we take a turn round?”

“That's reassuring,” he said. “You can see the Grand Stand today. Should we take a stroll around?”

Through the flower and fruit garden, against whose high outer walls peach trees and nectarines were trained to the sun, through the stables, the vinery, the mushroom house, the asparagus beds, the rosery, the summer-house, he conducted her—even into the kitchen garden to see the tiny green peas which Holly loved to scoop out of their pods with her finger, and lick up from the palm of her little brown hand. Many delightful things he showed her, while Holly and the dog Balthasar danced ahead, or came to them at intervals for attention. It was one of the happiest afternoons he had ever spent, but it tired him and he was glad to sit down in the music room and let her give him tea. A special little friend of Holly's had come in—a fair child with short hair like a boy's. And the two sported in the distance, under the stairs, on the stairs, and up in the gallery. Old Jolyon begged for Chopin. She played studies, mazurkas, waltzes, till the two children, creeping near, stood at the foot of the piano their dark and golden heads bent forward, listening. Old Jolyon watched.

Through the flower and fruit garden, where peach trees and nectarines were trained to the sun against the tall outer walls, through the stables, the grapevines, the mushroom house, the asparagus beds, the rose garden, and the summer house, he guided her—even into the vegetable garden to see the tiny green peas that Holly loved to scoop out of their pods with her finger and lick off the palm of her little brown hand. He showed her many delightful things while Holly and the dog Balthasar danced ahead or came back to them for attention at intervals. It was one of the happiest afternoons he had ever spent, but it wore him out, and he was glad to sit down in the music room and let her serve him tea. A special little friend of Holly's had come over—a fair child with short hair like a boy's. The two of them played together in the distance, under the stairs, on the stairs, and up in the gallery. Old Jolyon asked for Chopin. She played études, mazurkas, and waltzes until the two kids, creeping closer, stood at the foot of the piano, their dark and golden heads bent forward, listening. Old Jolyon watched.

“Let's see you dance, you two!”

“Show us your dance moves, you two!”

Shyly, with a false start, they began. Bobbing and circling, earnest, not very adroit, they went past and past his chair to the strains of that waltz. He watched them and the face of her who was playing turned smiling towards those little dancers thinking:

Shyly, with a hesitant start, they began. Bobbing and circling, eager but not very skilled, they went past his chair to the tune of that waltz. He watched them, and the face of the woman playing turned to smile at those little dancers, thinking:

'Sweetest picture I've seen for ages.'

'Sweetest picture I've seen in a long time.'

A voice said:

A voice spoke:

“Hollee! Mais enfin—qu'est-ce que tu fais la—danser, le dimanche! Viens, donc!”

“Hey! But seriously—what are you doing here—dancing on a Sunday! Come on!”

But the children came close to old Jolyon, knowing that he would save them, and gazed into a face which was decidedly 'caught out.'

But the kids approached old Jolyon, knowing he would help them, and looked into a face that clearly showed he was taken by surprise.

“Better the day, better the deed, Mam'zelle. It's all my doing. Trot along, chicks, and have your tea.”

“Better the day, better the deed, Miss. It's all my doing. Go on, girls, and enjoy your tea.”

And, when they were gone, followed by the dog Balthasar, who took every meal, he looked at Irene with a twinkle and said:

And when they left, followed by the dog Balthasar, who ate everything, he looked at Irene with a spark in his eye and said:

“Well, there we are! Aren't they sweet? Have you any little ones among your pupils?”

“Well, here we are! Aren't they adorable? Do you have any little ones among your students?”

“Yes, three—two of them darlings.”

"Yes, three—two of them cuties."

“Pretty?”

"Beautiful?"

“Lovely!”

“Awesome!”

Old Jolyon sighed; he had an insatiable appetite for the very young. “My little sweet,” he said, “is devoted to music; she'll be a musician some day. You wouldn't give me your opinion of her playing, I suppose?”

Old Jolyon sighed; he had an endless craving for the very young. “My little sweetheart,” he said, “is passionate about music; she'll be a musician one day. You wouldn’t be willing to share your thoughts on her playing, would you?”

“Of course I will.”

"Absolutely, I will."

“You wouldn't like—” but he stifled the words “to give her lessons.” The idea that she gave lessons was unpleasant to him; yet it would mean that he would see her regularly. She left the piano and came over to his chair.

“You wouldn't like—” but he held back the words “to give her lessons.” The thought of her giving lessons made him uneasy; yet it would mean he’d get to see her regularly. She left the piano and walked over to his chair.

“I would like, very much; but there is—June. When are they coming back?”

“I would really like to; but there’s—June. When are they coming back?”

Old Jolyon frowned. “Not till the middle of next month. What does that matter?”

Old Jolyon frowned. “Not until the middle of next month. What does that matter?”

“You said June had forgiven me; but she could never forget, Uncle Jolyon.”

“You said June had forgiven me, but she could never forget, Uncle Jolyon.”

Forget! She must forget, if he wanted her to.

Forget! She needs to forget, if that's what he wants.

But as if answering, Irene shook her head. “You know she couldn't; one doesn't forget.”

But as if in response, Irene shook her head. “You know she couldn't; you don't forget.”

Always that wretched past! And he said with a sort of vexed finality:

Always that miserable past! And he said with a kind of annoyed finality:

“Well, we shall see.”

"Well, we'll see."

He talked to her an hour or more, of the children, and a hundred little things, till the carriage came round to take her home. And when she had gone he went back to his chair, and sat there smoothing his face and chin, dreaming over the day.

He talked to her for an hour or more about the kids and a hundred little things until the carriage came to take her home. After she left, he returned to his chair, sat there smoothing his face and chin, and daydreamed about the day.

That evening after dinner he went to his study and took a sheet of paper. He stayed for some minutes without writing, then rose and stood under the masterpiece 'Dutch Fishing Boats at Sunset.' He was not thinking of that picture, but of his life. He was going to leave her something in his Will; nothing could so have stirred the stilly deeps of thought and memory. He was going to leave her a portion of his wealth, of his aspirations, deeds, qualities, work—all that had made that wealth; going to leave her, too, a part of all he had missed in life, by his sane and steady pursuit of wealth. All! What had he missed? 'Dutch Fishing Boats' responded blankly; he crossed to the French window, and drawing the curtain aside, opened it. A wind had got up, and one of last year's oak leaves which had somehow survived the gardener's brooms, was dragging itself with a tiny clicking rustle along the stone terrace in the twilight. Except for that it was very quiet out there, and he could smell the heliotrope watered not long since. A bat went by. A bird uttered its last 'cheep.' And right above the oak tree the first star shone. Faust in the opera had bartered his soul for some fresh years of youth. Morbid notion! No such bargain was possible, that was real tragedy! No making oneself new again for love or life or anything. Nothing left to do but enjoy beauty from afar off while you could, and leave it something in your Will. But how much? And, as if he could not make that calculation looking out into the mild freedom of the country night, he turned back and went up to the chimney-piece. There were his pet bronzes—a Cleopatra with the asp at her breast; a Socrates; a greyhound playing with her puppy; a strong man reining in some horses. 'They last!' he thought, and a pang went through his heart. They had a thousand years of life before them!

That evening after dinner, he headed to his study and grabbed a sheet of paper. He sat there for a few minutes without writing, then got up and stood under the masterpiece 'Dutch Fishing Boats at Sunset.' His mind wasn’t on the painting, but on his life. He was planning to leave her something in his Will; nothing else could have stirred the deep thoughts and memories like that. He intended to leave her a portion of his wealth, his dreams, his actions, his qualities, his work—all that had contributed to that wealth; he wanted to give her a part of everything he had missed in life because of his steady pursuit of wealth. What had he really missed? 'Dutch Fishing Boats' stared back blankly; he walked over to the French window, pulled aside the curtain, and opened it. A breeze had picked up, and one of last year's oak leaves, which had somehow survived the gardener's brooms, was dragging itself with a soft rustling sound along the stone terrace in the twilight. Other than that, it was very quiet outside, and he could smell the freshly watered heliotrope. A bat swooped by. A bird chirped its last ‘cheep.’ And right above the oak tree, the first star twinkled. Faust in the opera had sold his soul for a few extra years of youth. What a bleak idea! No such deal was possible—that was true tragedy! You couldn't reinvent yourself for love or life or anything. All that was left to do was enjoy beauty from a distance while you could, and leave it something in your Will. But how much? And since he couldn’t figure that out while gazing out into the gentle freedom of the countryside night, he turned back and went up to the mantelpiece. There were his favorite bronzes—a Cleopatra with an asp resting on her breast; a Socrates; a greyhound playing with her puppy; a strong man holding back some horses. 'They endure!' he thought, and a pang shot through his heart. They had a thousand years of life ahead of them!

'How much?' Well! enough at all events to save her getting old before her time, to keep the lines out of her face as long as possible, and grey from soiling that bright hair. He might live another five years. She would be well over thirty by then. 'How much?' She had none of his blood in her! In loyalty to the tenor of his life for forty years and more, ever since he married and founded that mysterious thing, a family, came this warning thought—None of his blood, no right to anything! It was a luxury then, this notion. An extravagance, a petting of an old man's whim, one of those things done in dotage. His real future was vested in those who had his blood, in whom he would live on when he was gone. He turned away from the bronzes and stood looking at the old leather chair in which he had sat and smoked so many hundreds of cigars. And suddenly he seemed to see her sitting there in her grey dress, fragrant, soft, dark-eyed, graceful, looking up at him. Why! She cared nothing for him, really; all she cared for was that lost lover of hers. But she was there, whether she would or no, giving him pleasure with her beauty and grace. One had no right to inflict an old man's company, no right to ask her down to play to him and let him look at her—for no reward! Pleasure must be paid for in this world. 'How much?' After all, there was plenty; his son and his three grandchildren would never miss that little lump. He had made it himself, nearly every penny; he could leave it where he liked, allow himself this little pleasure. He went back to the bureau. 'Well, I'm going to,' he thought, 'let them think what they like. I'm going to!' And he sat down.

'How much?' Well! enough to prevent her from growing old before her time, to keep the lines off her face as long as possible, and to protect that bright hair from going grey. He might live another five years. She would be well over thirty by then. 'How much?' She didn’t have any of his blood in her! Out of loyalty to the tenor of his life for over forty years, ever since he got married and started that mysterious thing called a family, came this nagging thought—None of his blood, no right to anything! It was a luxury then, this idea. An extravagance, indulging an old man's whims, one of those things done in old age. His real future was tied to those who shared his blood, in whom he would continue to live on after he was gone. He turned away from the bronzes and gazed at the old leather chair where he had sat and smoked countless cigars. And suddenly he seemed to see her sitting there in her grey dress, fragrant, soft, dark-eyed, graceful, looking up at him. Why! She truly cared nothing for him; all she cared about was that lost lover of hers. But she was there, willingly or not, giving him joy with her beauty and grace. One shouldn’t impose an old man's company on her, shouldn’t ask her to come play for him and let him gaze at her—for no reward! Pleasure must be paid for in this world. 'How much?' After all, there was plenty; his son and his three grandchildren would never miss that little amount. He had earned it himself, almost every penny; he could leave it wherever he wanted, give himself this small pleasure. He returned to the bureau. 'Well, I'm going to,' he thought, 'let them think what they like. I'm going to!' And he sat down.

'How much?' Ten thousand, twenty thousand—how much? If only with his money he could buy one year, one month of youth. And startled by that thought, he wrote quickly:

'How much?' Ten thousand, twenty thousand—how much? If only with his money he could buy one year, one month of youth. And startled by that thought, he wrote quickly:

'DEAR HERRING,—Draw me a codicil to this effect: “I leave to my niece Irene Forsyte, born Irene Heron, by which name she now goes, fifteen thousand pounds free of legacy duty.” 'Yours faithfully, 'JOLYON FORSYTE.'

'DEAR HERRING,—Please write up a codicil that states: “I leave my niece Irene Forsyte, formerly known as Irene Heron, fifteen thousand pounds with no inheritance tax.” 'Yours faithfully, 'JOLYON FORSYTE.'

When he had sealed and stamped the envelope, he went back to the window and drew in a long breath. It was dark, but many stars shone now.

When he sealed and stamped the envelope, he returned to the window and took a deep breath. It was dark, but many stars were shining now.





IV

He woke at half-past two, an hour which long experience had taught him brings panic intensity to all awkward thoughts. Experience had also taught him that a further waking at the proper hour of eight showed the folly of such panic. On this particular morning the thought which gathered rapid momentum was that if he became ill, at his age not improbable, he would not see her. From this it was but a step to realisation that he would be cut off, too, when his son and June returned from Spain. How could he justify desire for the company of one who had stolen—early morning does not mince words—June's lover? That lover was dead; but June was a stubborn little thing; warm-hearted, but stubborn as wood, and—quite true—not one who forgot! By the middle of next month they would be back. He had barely five weeks left to enjoy the new interest which had come into what remained of his life. Darkness showed up to him absurdly clear the nature of his feeling. Admiration for beauty—a craving to see that which delighted his eyes.

He woke up at 2:30, a time that experience taught him always brings a rush of anxious thoughts. His experience also showed him that waking up at the usual time of 8 AM was a reminder of how unwarranted that anxiety was. On this particular morning, the thought that quickly gained traction was that if he fell ill, which was likely at his age, he wouldn’t see her again. From that, it was just a small leap to realizing that he would also miss his son and June when they returned from Spain. How could he justify wanting to be around someone who had taken—let’s not sugarcoat it—June’s lover? That lover was gone, but June was a stubborn one; warm-hearted, but as stubborn as wood, and—let's be honest—not someone who easily forgets! They would be back by the middle of next month. He had barely five weeks left to enjoy this new interest that had brightened up what was left of his life. In the darkness, it became absurdly clear what he felt. It was admiration for beauty—a strong desire to see what pleased his eyes.

Preposterous, at his age! And yet—what other reason was there for asking June to undergo such painful reminder, and how prevent his son and his son's wife from thinking him very queer? He would be reduced to sneaking up to London, which tired him; and the least indisposition would cut him off even from that. He lay with eyes open, setting his jaw against the prospect, and calling himself an old fool, while his heart beat loudly, and then seemed to stop beating altogether. He had seen the dawn lighting the window chinks, heard the birds chirp and twitter, and the cocks crow, before he fell asleep again, and awoke tired but sane. Five weeks before he need bother, at his age an eternity! But that early morning panic had left its mark, had slightly fevered the will of one who had always had his own way. He would see her as often as he wished! Why not go up to town and make that codicil at his solicitor's instead of writing about it; she might like to go to the opera! But, by train, for he would not have that fat chap Beacon grinning behind his back. Servants were such fools; and, as likely as not, they had known all the past history of Irene and young Bosinney—servants knew everything, and suspected the rest. He wrote to her that morning:

That’s ridiculous at his age! And yet—what other reason could he have for asking June to go through such a painful reminder, and how could he stop his son and his son’s wife from thinking he was really odd? He’d end up sneaking up to London, which exhausted him, and the slightest illness would keep him from even that. He lay there with his eyes open, clenching his jaw at the thought and calling himself an old fool, while his heart pounded loudly, then felt like it stopped altogether. He had watched the dawn light streaming through the window, heard the birds chirping and the roosters crowing, before he finally fell asleep again and woke up tired but clear-headed. Five weeks before he had to deal with it, which felt like an eternity at his age! But that early morning panic had left a mark, slightly unsettling the resolve of someone who had always gotten his way. He would see her as often as he wanted! Why not just head into the city and make that codicil at his lawyer’s instead of writing about it? She might enjoy going to the opera! But he’d take the train, because he didn’t want that fat guy Beacon smirking at him. Servants were such fools; they probably knew all about Irene and young Bosinney’s past—servants knew everything and suspected the rest. He wrote to her that morning:

“MY DEAR IRENE,—I have to be up in town to-morrow. If you would like to have a look in at the opera, come and dine with me quietly ....”

“MY DEAR IRENE,—I need to be in town tomorrow. If you’d like to check out the opera, come have a quiet dinner with me....”

But where? It was decades since he had dined anywhere in London save at his Club or at a private house. Ah! that new-fangled place close to Covent Garden....

But where? It had been decades since he had eaten anywhere in London besides his Club or a private home. Ah! that trendy place near Covent Garden....

“Let me have a line to-morrow morning to the Piedmont Hotel whether to expect you there at 7 o'clock.”

“Send me a message tomorrow morning at the Piedmont Hotel to let me know if I should expect you there at 7 o'clock.”

“Yours affectionately,

“Warm regards,

“JOLYON FORSYTE.”

“Jolyon Forsyte.”

She would understand that he just wanted to give her a little pleasure; for the idea that she should guess he had this itch to see her was instinctively unpleasant to him; it was not seemly that one so old should go out of his way to see beauty, especially in a woman.

She would get that he just wanted to bring her some joy; the thought that she should figure out he had this urge to see her made him uncomfortable; it didn’t seem right for someone his age to go out of his way to admire beauty, especially in a woman.

The journey next day, short though it was, and the visit to his lawyer's, tired him. It was hot too, and after dressing for dinner he lay down on the sofa in his bedroom to rest a little. He must have had a sort of fainting fit, for he came to himself feeling very queer; and with some difficulty rose and rang the bell. Why! it was past seven! And there he was and she would be waiting. But suddenly the dizziness came on again, and he was obliged to relapse on the sofa. He heard the maid's voice say:

The next day's journey, brief as it was, along with the visit to his lawyer, drained him. It was hot too, and after getting dressed for dinner, he lay down on the sofa in his bedroom to rest for a bit. He must have had some kind of faint spell because he came to feeling quite strange; after some effort, he got up and rang the bell. Wow! It was past seven! And there he was, and she would be waiting. But suddenly the dizziness hit him again, and he had to fall back onto the sofa. He heard the maid's voice say:

“Did you ring, sir?”

“Did you call, sir?”

“Yes, come here”; he could not see her clearly, for the cloud in front of his eyes. “I'm not well, I want some sal volatile.”

“Yes, come here”; he couldn't see her clearly because of the fog in front of his eyes. “I'm not feeling well, I need some sal volatile.”

“Yes, sir.” Her voice sounded frightened.

“Yes, sir.” Her voice sounded scared.

Old Jolyon made an effort.

Old Jolyon tried hard.

“Don't go. Take this message to my niece—a lady waiting in the hall—a lady in grey. Say Mr. Forsyte is not well—the heat. He is very sorry; if he is not down directly, she is not to wait dinner.”

“Please don’t go. Give this message to my niece—a woman waiting in the hall—a woman in grey. Tell her that Mr. Forsyte isn’t feeling well—the heat. He’s really sorry; if he isn’t down right away, she shouldn’t wait for dinner.”

When she was gone, he thought feebly: 'Why did I say a lady in grey—she may be in anything. Sal volatile!' He did not go off again, yet was not conscious of how Irene came to be standing beside him, holding smelling salts to his nose, and pushing a pillow up behind his head. He heard her say anxiously: “Dear Uncle Jolyon, what is it?” was dimly conscious of the soft pressure of her lips on his hand; then drew a long breath of smelling salts, suddenly discovered strength in them, and sneezed.

When she left, he thought weakly: 'Why did I say a lady in grey—she could be wearing anything. Sal volatile!' He didn’t pass out again, but he wasn’t aware of how Irene ended up next to him, holding smelling salts to his nose and propping a pillow behind his head. He heard her say with concern: “Dear Uncle Jolyon, what’s wrong?” and vaguely felt her soft lips on his hand; then he took a deep breath of the smelling salts, suddenly found strength in them, and sneezed.

“Ha!” he said, “it's nothing. How did you get here? Go down and dine—the tickets are on the dressing-table. I shall be all right in a minute.”

“Ha!” he said, “it's nothing. How did you get here? Go downstairs and eat—the tickets are on the dresser. I’ll be fine in a minute.”

He felt her cool hand on his forehead, smelled violets, and sat divided between a sort of pleasure and a determination to be all right.

He felt her cool hand on his forehead, smelled violets, and sat torn between a sense of pleasure and a resolve to be okay.

“Why! You are in grey!” he said. “Help me up.” Once on his feet he gave himself a shake.

“Wow! You’re wearing gray!” he said. “Help me up.” Once he was on his feet, he shook himself off.

“What business had I to go off like that!” And he moved very slowly to the glass. What a cadaverous chap! Her voice, behind him, murmured:

“What was I thinking, leaving like that!” And he walked very slowly to the mirror. What a ghostly guy! Her voice, behind him, murmured:

“You mustn't come down, Uncle; you must rest.”

“You shouldn’t come down, Uncle; you need to rest.”

“Fiddlesticks! A glass of champagne'll soon set me to rights. I can't have you missing the opera.”

“Fiddlesticks! A glass of champagne will quickly make me feel better. I can't let you miss the opera.”

But the journey down the corridor was troublesome. What carpets they had in these newfangled places, so thick that you tripped up in them at every step! In the lift he noticed how concerned she looked, and said with the ghost of a twinkle:

But the walk down the hallway was tricky. The carpets in these fancy places were so thick that you stumbled over them with every step! In the elevator, he noticed how worried she looked and said with a hint of a smile:

“I'm a pretty host.”

"I'm a great host."

When the lift stopped he had to hold firmly to the seat to prevent its slipping under him; but after soup and a glass of champagne he felt much better, and began to enjoy an infirmity which had brought such solicitude into her manner towards him.

When the elevator stopped, he had to grip the seat tightly to keep it from sliding out from under him; but after some soup and a glass of champagne, he felt a lot better and started to appreciate the weakness that had made her so caring towards him.

“I should have liked you for a daughter,” he said suddenly; and watching the smile in her eyes, went on:

“I would have liked you as a daughter,” he said suddenly; and seeing the smile in her eyes, continued:

“You mustn't get wrapped up in the past at your time of life; plenty of that when you get to my age. That's a nice dress—I like the style.”

“You shouldn’t dwell on the past at your age; there’s plenty of that when you get to my age. That’s a nice dress—I really like the style.”

“I made it myself.”

“I created it myself.”

Ah! A woman who could make herself a pretty frock had not lost her interest in life.

Ah! A woman who could make herself a nice dress hadn't lost her interest in life.

“Make hay while the sun shines,” he said; “and drink that up. I want to see some colour in your cheeks. We mustn't waste life; it doesn't do. There's a new Marguerite to-night; let's hope she won't be fat. And Mephisto—anything more dreadful than a fat chap playing the Devil I can't imagine.”

“Make the most of your opportunities,” he said; “and finish that drink. I want to see some color in your cheeks. We shouldn’t waste life; it’s no good. There’s a new Marguerite tonight; let’s hope she’s not overweight. And Mephisto—anything worse than a heavy guy playing the Devil is hard to imagine.”

But they did not go to the opera after all, for in getting up from dinner the dizziness came over him again, and she insisted on his staying quiet and going to bed early. When he parted from her at the door of the hotel, having paid the cabman to drive her to Chelsea, he sat down again for a moment to enjoy the memory of her words: “You are such a darling to me, Uncle Jolyon!” Why! Who wouldn't be! He would have liked to stay up another day and take her to the Zoo, but two days running of him would bore her to death. No, he must wait till next Sunday; she had promised to come then. They would settle those lessons for Holly, if only for a month. It would be something. That little Mam'zelle Beauce wouldn't like it, but she would have to lump it. And crushing his old opera hat against his chest he sought the lift.

But they didn't end up going to the opera after all. When he got up from dinner, the dizziness hit him again, and she insisted he stay calm and go to bed early. As he said goodbye to her at the hotel door, after paying the cab driver to take her to Chelsea, he sat down for a moment to savor her words: “You are such a darling to me, Uncle Jolyon!” Who wouldn't feel that way? He wished he could stay up another day and take her to the Zoo, but two days in a row would bore her to death. No, he had to wait until next Sunday; she promised to come then. They would sort out those lessons for Holly, at least for a month. That little Mam'zelle Beauce wouldn't like it, but she'd have to deal with it. Crushing his old opera hat against his chest, he looked for the lift.

He drove to Waterloo next morning, struggling with a desire to say: 'Drive me to Chelsea.' But his sense of proportion was too strong. Besides, he still felt shaky, and did not want to risk another aberration like that of last night, away from home. Holly, too, was expecting him, and what he had in his bag for her. Not that there was any cupboard love in his little sweet—she was a bundle of affection. Then, with the rather bitter cynicism of the old, he wondered for a second whether it was not cupboard love which made Irene put up with him. No, she was not that sort either. She had, if anything, too little notion of how to butter her bread, no sense of property, poor thing! Besides, he had not breathed a word about that codicil, nor should he—sufficient unto the day was the good thereof.

He drove to Waterloo the next morning, battling the urge to say, "Take me to Chelsea." But he knew better. Plus, he still felt off and didn’t want to risk another mistake like he made last night, away from home. Holly was waiting for him, and he had something for her in his bag. Not that there was any ulterior motive in his little gift—she was full of love. Then, with the somewhat bitter cynicism of someone older, he wondered for a second if it was ulterior motives that made Irene tolerate him. No, she wasn't that type either. She had, if anything, too little understanding of how to take care of herself, poor thing! Besides, he hadn’t mentioned that codicil, and he shouldn’t—sufficient unto the day was the good thereof.

In the victoria which met him at the station Holly was restraining the dog Balthasar, and their caresses made 'jubey' his drive home. All the rest of that fine hot day and most of the next he was content and peaceful, reposing in the shade, while the long lingering sunshine showered gold on the lawns and the flowers. But on Thursday evening at his lonely dinner he began to count the hours; sixty-five till he would go down to meet her again in the little coppice, and walk up through the fields at her side. He had intended to consult the doctor about his fainting fit, but the fellow would be sure to insist on quiet, no excitement and all that; and he did not mean to be tied by the leg, did not want to be told of an infirmity—if there were one, could not afford to hear of it at his time of life, now that this new interest had come. And he carefully avoided making any mention of it in a letter to his son. It would only bring them back with a run! How far this silence was due to consideration for their pleasure, how far to regard for his own, he did not pause to consider.

In the carriage that picked him up at the station, Holly was holding back their dog Balthasar, and their affection made the ride home feel special. Throughout that hot day and most of the next, he felt content and at peace, relaxing in the shade while the warm sunlight bathed the lawns and flowers in gold. But on Thursday evening, during his solitary dinner, he started to count the hours; sixty-five until he would go down to meet her again in the small grove and walk through the fields beside her. He had planned to ask the doctor about his fainting spell, but he knew the guy would likely insist on rest, no excitement and all that; he didn’t want to be restricted, didn’t want to hear about a weakness—if there was one, he couldn't afford to hear about it at his age, especially now that this new interest had appeared. He made sure not to mention it in a letter to his son. That would only make them rush back! He didn’t stop to think about how much this silence was out of concern for their feelings or his own.

That night in his study he had just finished his cigar and was dozing off, when he heard the rustle of a gown, and was conscious of a scent of violets. Opening his eyes he saw her, dressed in grey, standing by the fireplace, holding out her arms. The odd thing was that, though those arms seemed to hold nothing, they were curved as if round someone's neck, and her own neck was bent back, her lips open, her eyes closed. She vanished at once, and there were the mantelpiece and his bronzes. But those bronzes and the mantelpiece had not been there when she was, only the fireplace and the wall! Shaken and troubled, he got up. 'I must take medicine,' he thought; 'I can't be well.' His heart beat too fast, he had an asthmatic feeling in the chest; and going to the window, he opened it to get some air. A dog was barking far away, one of the dogs at Gage's farm no doubt, beyond the coppice. A beautiful still night, but dark. 'I dropped off,' he mused, 'that's it! And yet I'll swear my eyes were open!' A sound like a sigh seemed to answer.

That night in his study, he had just finished his cigar and was dozing off when he heard the rustle of a dress and caught a whiff of violets. When he opened his eyes, he saw her, dressed in gray, standing by the fireplace with her arms outstretched. The strange thing was that, although her arms seemed to hold nothing, they were positioned as if around someone's neck, and her own neck was tilted back, her lips parted, her eyes closed. She disappeared immediately, and there were just the mantelpiece and his bronzes. But those bronzes and the mantelpiece hadn’t been there when she was; only the fireplace and the wall remained! Shaken and disturbed, he got up. “I must take medicine,” he thought; “I can’t be well.” His heart was racing, and he felt a tightness in his chest; so he went to the window and opened it for some fresh air. A dog was barking far away, probably one of Gage's dogs beyond the thicket. It was a beautiful still night, but dark. “I dozed off,” he pondered, “that’s it! And yet I swear my eyes were open!” A sound like a sigh seemed to respond.

“What's that?” he said sharply, “who's there?”

“What's going on?” he asked sharply, “who's there?”

Putting his hand to his side to still the beating of his heart, he stepped out on the terrace. Something soft scurried by in the dark. “Shoo!” It was that great grey cat. 'Young Bosinney was like a great cat!' he thought. 'It was him in there, that she—that she was—He's got her still!' He walked to the edge of the terrace, and looked down into the darkness; he could just see the powdering of the daisies on the unmown lawn. Here to-day and gone to-morrow! And there came the moon, who saw all, young and old, alive and dead, and didn't care a dump! His own turn soon. For a single day of youth he would give what was left! And he turned again towards the house. He could see the windows of the night nursery up there. His little sweet would be asleep. 'Hope that dog won't wake her!' he thought. 'What is it makes us love, and makes us die! I must go to bed.'

Putting his hand to his side to calm his racing heart, he stepped out onto the terrace. Something soft scurried by in the dark. “Shoo!” It was that big grey cat. 'Young Bosinney was like a big cat!' he thought. 'It was him in there, that she—that she was—He's got her still!' He walked to the edge of the terrace and looked down into the darkness; he could just make out the sprinkling of daisies on the uncut lawn. Here today and gone tomorrow! And then the moon rose, watching everything—young and old, alive and dead—and didn’t care at all! His time would come soon. For just one day of youth, he would trade what little he had left! And he turned back towards the house. He could see the windows of the night nursery up there. His little sweet would be asleep. 'Hope that dog doesn’t wake her!' he thought. 'What makes us love, and what makes us die! I need to go to bed.'

And across the terrace stones, growing grey in the moonlight, he passed back within.

And across the terrace stones, turning gray in the moonlight, he walked back inside.

How should an old man live his days if not in dreaming of his well-spent past? In that, at all events, there is no agitating warmth, only pale winter sunshine. The shell can withstand the gentle beating of the dynamos of memory. The present he should distrust; the future shun. From beneath thick shade he should watch the sunlight creeping at his toes. If there be sun of summer, let him not go out into it, mistaking it for the Indian-summer sun! Thus peradventure he shall decline softly, slowly, imperceptibly, until impatient Nature clutches his wind-pipe and he gasps away to death some early morning before the world is aired, and they put on his tombstone: 'In the fulness of years!' yea! If he preserve his principles in perfect order, a Forsyte may live on long after he is dead.

How should an old man spend his days if not by reminiscing about his well-lived past? In that, at least, there's no overwhelming heat, just the dull light of winter sunshine. The outer shell can handle the gentle rhythm of memories. He should be skeptical of the present and avoid the future. From beneath thick shade, he should watch the sunlight inching towards his toes. If there's summer sun, he should resist the urge to step out into it, mistaking it for the late summer warmth! Thus, he may gradually and quietly fade away until impatient Nature tightens around his throat and he gasps his last breath early one morning before the world is awake, and they carve on his tombstone: 'In the fullness of years!' Yes! If he keeps his values in perfect order, a Forsyte can live on long after he's gone.

Old Jolyon was conscious of all this, and yet there was in him that which transcended Forsyteism. For it is written that a Forsyte shall not love beauty more than reason; nor his own way more than his own health. And something beat within him in these days that with each throb fretted at the thinning shell. His sagacity knew this, but it knew too that he could not stop that beating, nor would if he could. And yet, if you had told him he was living on his capital, he would have stared you down. No, no; a man did not live on his capital; it was not done! The shibboleths of the past are ever more real than the actualities of the present. And he, to whom living on one's capital had always been anathema, could not have borne to have applied so gross a phrase to his own case. Pleasure is healthful; beauty good to see; to live again in the youth of the young—and what else on earth was he doing!

Old Jolyon was aware of all this, yet there was something in him that went beyond Forsyteism. It’s said that a Forsyte should not love beauty more than reason, or his own way more than his own wellbeing. And something inside him, during those days, beat with a rhythm that chipped away at his diminishing shell. He understood this, but he also knew he couldn’t stop that rhythm, nor would he want to if he could. And yet, if you had told him he was living off his savings, he would have given you a hard look. No, no; a person didn’t live off his savings; that just wasn’t done! The traditions of the past always felt more real than the realities of the present. And he, for whom living off one’s savings had always been unacceptable, could not bear to apply such a crude phrase to his own situation. Enjoyment is beneficial; beauty is nice to admire; to relive the youth of the young—and what else on earth was he doing!

Methodically, as had been the way of his whole life, he now arranged his time. On Tuesdays he journeyed up to town by train; Irene came and dined with him. And they went to the opera. On Thursdays he drove to town, and, putting that fat chap and his horses up, met her in Kensington Gardens, picking up the carriage after he had left her, and driving home again in time for dinner. He threw out the casual formula that he had business in London on those two days. On Wednesdays and Saturdays she came down to give Holly music lessons. The greater the pleasure he took in her society, the more scrupulously fastidious he became, just a matter-of-fact and friendly uncle. Not even in feeling, really, was he more—for, after all, there was his age. And yet, if she were late he fidgeted himself to death. If she missed coming, which happened twice, his eyes grew sad as an old dog's, and he failed to sleep.

Methodically, as he had done throughout his life, he organized his time. On Tuesdays, he took the train into town; Irene would join him for dinner. Afterward, they would go to the opera. On Thursdays, he drove into town, dropped off that heavyset guy and his horses, then met her in Kensington Gardens, picked up the carriage after leaving her, and drove home in time for dinner. He casually mentioned that he had business in London on those two days. On Wednesdays and Saturdays, she came over to give Holly music lessons. The more he enjoyed her company, the more carefully he maintained a matter-of-fact and friendly uncle persona. He wasn't really more than that in feeling—after all, there was the age difference. Yet, if she was late, he would fidget nervously. If she missed coming, which happened twice, his eyes would get as sad as an old dog’s, and he struggled to sleep.

And so a month went by—a month of summer in the fields, and in his heart, with summer's heat and the fatigue thereof. Who could have believed a few weeks back that he would have looked forward to his son's and his grand-daughter's return with something like dread! There was such a delicious freedom, such recovery of that independence a man enjoys before he founds a family, about these weeks of lovely weather, and this new companionship with one who demanded nothing, and remained always a little unknown, retaining the fascination of mystery. It was like a draught of wine to him who has been drinking water for so long that he has almost forgotten the stir wine brings to his blood, the narcotic to his brain. The flowers were coloured brighter, scents and music and the sunlight had a living value—were no longer mere reminders of past enjoyment. There was something now to live for which stirred him continually to anticipation. He lived in that, not in retrospection; the difference is considerable to any so old as he. The pleasures of the table, never of much consequence to one naturally abstemious, had lost all value. He ate little, without knowing what he ate; and every day grew thinner and more worn to look at. He was again a 'threadpaper'. and to this thinned form his massive forehead, with hollows at the temples, gave more dignity than ever. He was very well aware that he ought to see the doctor, but liberty was too sweet. He could not afford to pet his frequent shortness of breath and the pain in his side at the expense of liberty. Return to the vegetable existence he had led among the agricultural journals with the life-size mangold wurzels, before this new attraction came into his life—no! He exceeded his allowance of cigars. Two a day had always been his rule. Now he smoked three and sometimes four—a man will when he is filled with the creative spirit. But very often he thought: 'I must give up smoking, and coffee; I must give up rattling up to town.' But he did not; there was no one in any sort of authority to notice him, and this was a priceless boon.

And so a month went by—a month of summer in the fields and in his heart, with the heat of summer and the tiredness that came with it. Who could have believed just a few weeks ago that he would look forward to his son’s and granddaughter’s return with something like dread! There was such a wonderful freedom, such a recovery of the independence a man enjoys before starting a family, during these weeks of beautiful weather and this new companionship with someone who asked for nothing and remained a bit of a mystery. It was like a sip of wine to someone who has been drinking water for so long that he almost forgot the excitement wine brings to his blood, the calm it brings to his mind. The flowers were brighter, the scents and music and sunlight felt alive—no longer just reminders of past joys. There was now something to look forward to that kept stirring him with anticipation. He lived for that, not in memories; the difference is significant for someone his age. The pleasures of food, never really important to someone who was naturally temperate, had lost all meaning. He ate little, barely knowing what he was eating; and every day he grew thinner and more worn out. He was once again a 'threadpaper,’ and to this thin form, his strong forehead, with hollows at the temples, added more dignity than ever. He was well aware that he should see a doctor, but freedom felt too good. He couldn’t let his frequent shortness of breath and the pain in his side get in the way of his freedom. Going back to the dull existence he’d led among agricultural journals and life-size mangold wurzels, before this new interest came into his life—no way! He exceeded his usual limit of cigars. Two a day had always been his rule. Now he smoked three and sometimes four—a person will do that when he’s filled with inspiration. But he often thought: 'I should give up smoking and coffee; I need to stop rushing up to town.' But he didn’t; there was no one in any position to notice him, and that was a priceless advantage.

The servants perhaps wondered, but they were, naturally, dumb. Mam'zelle Beauce was too concerned with her own digestion, and too 'wellbrrred' to make personal allusions. Holly had not as yet an eye for the relative appearance of him who was her plaything and her god. It was left for Irene herself to beg him to eat more, to rest in the hot part of the day, to take a tonic, and so forth. But she did not tell him that she was the a cause of his thinness—for one cannot see the havoc oneself is working. A man of eighty-five has no passions, but the Beauty which produces passion works on in the old way, till death closes the eyes which crave the sight of Her.

The servants might have wondered, but they were, of course, silent. Mam'zelle Beauce was too focused on her own digestion and too refined to make personal comments. Holly didn't yet notice how he appeared, being both her toy and her idol. It was up to Irene to encourage him to eat more, take breaks during the hottest part of the day, and take his vitamins, among other things. But she didn’t mention that she was the reason for his thinness—after all, it’s hard to see the damage one is causing. A man of eighty-five has no passions, yet the Beauty that ignites passion continues to exist in the same way until death finally closes the eyes that long to see Her.

On the first day of the second week in July he received a letter from his son in Paris to say that they would all be back on Friday. This had always been more sure than Fate; but, with the pathetic improvidence given to the old, that they may endure to the end, he had never quite admitted it. Now he did, and something would have to be done. He had ceased to be able to imagine life without this new interest, but that which is not imagined sometimes exists, as Forsytes are perpetually finding to their cost. He sat in his old leather chair, doubling up the letter, and mumbling with his lips the end of an unlighted cigar. After to-morrow his Tuesday expeditions to town would have to be abandoned. He could still drive up, perhaps, once a week, on the pretext of seeing his man of business. But even that would be dependent on his health, for now they would begin to fuss about him. The lessons! The lessons must go on! She must swallow down her scruples, and June must put her feelings in her pocket. She had done so once, on the day after the news of Bosinney's death; what she had done then, she could surely do again now. Four years since that injury was inflicted on her—not Christian to keep the memory of old sores alive. June's will was strong, but his was stronger, for his sands were running out. Irene was soft, surely she would do this for him, subdue her natural shrinking, sooner than give him pain! The lessons must continue; for if they did, he was secure. And lighting his cigar at last, he began trying to shape out how to put it to them all, and explain this strange intimacy; how to veil and wrap it away from the naked truth—that he could not bear to be deprived of the sight of beauty. Ah! Holly! Holly was fond of her, Holly liked her lessons. She would save him—his little sweet! And with that happy thought he became serene, and wondered what he had been worrying about so fearfully. He must not worry, it left him always curiously weak, and as if but half present in his own body.

On the first day of the second week in July, he got a letter from his son in Paris saying that they would all be back on Friday. This had always felt more certain than fate, but, with the sad carelessness that comes with old age, he had never fully accepted it. Now he did, and something had to change. He could no longer imagine life without this new focus, but sometimes, what we don't imagine still happens, as the Forsytes constantly discover at their own expense. He sat in his old leather chair, folding the letter and mumbling with his lips around the end of an unlit cigar. After tomorrow, his Tuesday trips to town would have to stop. He could still drive up, maybe once a week, under the pretense of seeing his business guy. But even that would depend on his health, as they would start to worry about him. The lessons! The lessons had to go on! She needed to push aside her doubts, and June had to put her feelings aside. She had done it once, the day after they heard about Bosinney's death; if she could do that then, she could definitely do it now. It had been four years since that hurt was inflicted on her—not kind to keep reminding her of old wounds. June's will was strong, but his was stronger, because his time was running out. Irene was gentle; surely, she would do this for him, overcoming her natural hesitation rather than causing him pain! The lessons had to continue; if they did, he would be secure. Finally lighting his cigar, he started to figure out how to present it to them all and explain this odd closeness; how to conceal and wrap it in a way that avoided the bare truth—that he couldn’t bear to be without beauty in his life. Ah! Holly! Holly liked her, Holly enjoyed her lessons. She would save him—his little darling! And with that happy thought, he felt calm, wondering what he had been so anxiously worked up about. He shouldn't worry; it always left him feeling strangely weak, as if he were only half present in his own body.

That evening after dinner he had a return of the dizziness, though he did not faint. He would not ring the bell, because he knew it would mean a fuss, and make his going up on the morrow more conspicuous. When one grew old, the whole world was in conspiracy to limit freedom, and for what reason?—just to keep the breath in him a little longer. He did not want it at such cost. Only the dog Balthasar saw his lonely recovery from that weakness; anxiously watched his master go to the sideboard and drink some brandy, instead of giving him a biscuit. When at last old Jolyon felt able to tackle the stairs he went up to bed. And, though still shaky next morning, the thought of the evening sustained and strengthened him. It was always such a pleasure to give her a good dinner—he suspected her of undereating when she was alone; and, at the opera to watch her eyes glow and brighten, the unconscious smiling of her lips. She hadn't much pleasure, and this was the last time he would be able to give her that treat. But when he was packing his bag he caught himself wishing that he had not the fatigue of dressing for dinner before him, and the exertion, too, of telling her about June's return.

That evening after dinner, he felt dizzy again, but he didn't faint. He didn’t want to ring the bell because he knew that would create a fuss and make his trip upstairs the next day more noticeable. As one got older, it seemed like the whole world was working together to limit freedom, and for what reason?—just to keep him alive a little longer. He didn’t want it at that price. Only his dog Balthasar noticed his quiet recovery from that weakness; the dog anxiously watched him go to the sideboard and drink some brandy instead of getting him a biscuit. When old Jolyon finally felt ready to tackle the stairs, he went to bed. Although he was still shaky the next morning, the thought of the previous evening kept him going. He always enjoyed giving her a good dinner—he suspected she didn’t eat much when she was alone; and at the opera, watching her eyes shine and her lips unconsciously smile brought him joy. She didn’t have much happiness, and this would be the last time he could treat her to that. But as he packed his bag, he found himself wishing he didn’t have to deal with the fatigue of getting dressed for dinner again, or the effort of telling her about June’s return.

The opera that evening was 'Carmen,' and he chose the last entr'acte to break the news, instinctively putting it off till the latest moment.

The opera that evening was 'Carmen,' and he decided to share the news during the last intermission, instinctively delaying it until the very last moment.

She took it quietly, queerly; in fact, he did not know how she had taken it before the wayward music lifted up again and silence became necessary. The mask was down over her face, that mask behind which so much went on that he could not see. She wanted time to think it over, no doubt! He would not press her, for she would be coming to give her lesson to-morrow afternoon, and he should see her then when she had got used to the idea. In the cab he talked only of the Carmen; he had seen better in the old days, but this one was not bad at all. When he took her hand to say good-night, she bent quickly forward and kissed his forehead.

She took it quietly, oddly; in fact, he didn’t know how she had reacted before the erratic music started up again and silence became necessary. The mask was down over her face, the mask behind which so much was happening that he couldn’t see. She probably wanted time to think it over! He wouldn't pressure her, since she would be coming to give her lesson tomorrow afternoon, and he’d see her then when she had gotten used to the idea. In the cab, he talked only about Carmen; he had seen better in the old days, but this one was pretty good. When he took her hand to say goodnight, she quickly leaned forward and kissed his forehead.

“Good-bye, dear Uncle Jolyon, you have been so sweet to me.”

“Goodbye, dear Uncle Jolyon, you have been so kind to me.”

“To-morrow then,” he said. “Good-night. Sleep well.” She echoed softly: “Sleep well” and from the cab window, already moving away, he saw her face screwed round towards him, and her hand put out in a gesture which seemed to linger.

"Tomorrow then," he said. "Goodnight. Sleep well." She replied softly, "Sleep well," and from the cab window, already pulling away, he saw her face turned towards him and her hand out in a gesture that seemed to linger.

He sought his room slowly. They never gave him the same, and he could not get used to these 'spick-and-spandy' bedrooms with new furniture and grey-green carpets sprinkled all over with pink roses. He was wakeful and that wretched Habanera kept throbbing in his head.

He made his way to his room slowly. They never gave him the same one, and he couldn't get used to these 'neat and tidy' bedrooms with new furniture and grey-green carpets covered in pink roses. He was restless, and that annoying Habanera kept playing in his head.

His French had never been equal to its words, but its sense he knew, if it had any sense, a gipsy thing—wild and unaccountable. Well, there was in life something which upset all your care and plans—something which made men and women dance to its pipes. And he lay staring from deep-sunk eyes into the darkness where the unaccountable held sway. You thought you had hold of life, but it slipped away behind you, took you by the scruff of the neck, forced you here and forced you there, and then, likely as not, squeezed life out of you! It took the very stars like that, he shouldn't wonder, rubbed their noses together and flung them apart; it had never done playing its pranks. Five million people in this great blunderbuss of a town, and all of them at the mercy of that Life-Force, like a lot of little dried peas hopping about on a board when you struck your fist on it. Ah, well! Himself would not hop much longer—a good long sleep would do him good!

His French had never been as good as it sounded, but he understood its meaning, if it had any meaning at all, a gypsy thing—wild and unpredictable. Well, there’s something in life that disrupts all your care and plans—something that makes people dance to its tune. He lay there, staring from his deep-set eyes into the darkness where the unpredictable reigned. You thought you had a grip on life, but it slipped away from you, grabbed you by the collar, pushed you here and there, and then, more than likely, squeezed the life out of you! It probably took even the stars like that, rubbed them together, and then tossed them apart; it never stopped playing its tricks. Five million people in this huge chaotic city, all at the mercy of that Life-Force, like a bunch of little dried peas bouncing around on a board when you slammed your fist on it. Ah, well! He wouldn’t be hopping around much longer—a good long sleep would do him good!

How hot it was up here!—how noisy! His forehead burned; she had kissed it just where he always worried; just there—as if she had known the very place and wanted to kiss it all away for him. But, instead, her lips left a patch of grievous uneasiness. She had never spoken in quite that voice, had never before made that lingering gesture or looked back at him as she drove away.

How hot it was up here!—how noisy! His forehead felt like it was on fire; she had kissed it right where he always felt anxious; just there—as if she knew exactly where it was and wanted to kiss it all away for him. But instead, her lips left a lingering feeling of deep unease. She had never spoken in that tone before, had never made that kind of lingering gesture, or looked back at him like that as she drove away.

He got out of bed and pulled the curtains aside; his room faced down over the river. There was little air, but the sight of that breadth of water flowing by, calm, eternal, soothed him. 'The great thing,' he thought 'is not to make myself a nuisance. I'll think of my little sweet, and go to sleep.' But it was long before the heat and throbbing of the London night died out into the short slumber of the summer morning. And old Jolyon had but forty winks.

He got out of bed and pulled the curtains aside; his room looked down over the river. The air was still, but the sight of the wide, calm water flowing by soothed him. 'The key,' he thought, 'is not to be a bother. I'll think of my little sweetheart and try to sleep.' But it took a long time for the heat and noise of the London night to fade into the brief rest of the summer morning. And old Jolyon barely got any sleep.

When he reached home next day he went out to the flower garden, and with the help of Holly, who was very delicate with flowers, gathered a great bunch of carnations. They were, he told her, for 'the lady in grey'—a name still bandied between them; and he put them in a bowl in his study where he meant to tackle Irene the moment she came, on the subject of June and future lessons. Their fragrance and colour would help. After lunch he lay down, for he felt very tired, and the carriage would not bring her from the station till four o'clock. But as the hour approached he grew restless, and sought the schoolroom, which overlooked the drive. The sun-blinds were down, and Holly was there with Mademoiselle Beauce, sheltered from the heat of a stifling July day, attending to their silkworms. Old Jolyon had a natural antipathy to these methodical creatures, whose heads and colour reminded him of elephants; who nibbled such quantities of holes in nice green leaves; and smelled, as he thought, horrid. He sat down on a chintz-covered windowseat whence he could see the drive, and get what air there was; and the dog Balthasar who appreciated chintz on hot days, jumped up beside him. Over the cottage piano a violet dust-sheet, faded almost to grey, was spread, and on it the first lavender, whose scent filled the room. In spite of the coolness here, perhaps because of that coolness the beat of life vehemently impressed his ebbed-down senses. Each sunbeam which came through the chinks had annoying brilliance; that dog smelled very strong; the lavender perfume was overpowering; those silkworms heaving up their grey-green backs seemed horribly alive; and Holly's dark head bent over them had a wonderfully silky sheen. A marvellous cruelly strong thing was life when you were old and weak; it seemed to mock you with its multitude of forms and its beating vitality. He had never, till those last few weeks, had this curious feeling of being with one half of him eagerly borne along in the stream of life, and with the other half left on the bank, watching that helpless progress. Only when Irene was with him did he lose this double consciousness.

When he got home the next day, he went out to the flower garden and, with Holly's help, who was very gentle with flowers, gathered a big bunch of carnations. He told her they were for "the lady in grey"—a name they still tossed around between them. He put them in a bowl in his study, where he planned to confront Irene as soon as she arrived, about June and future lessons. The fragrance and color would help. After lunch, he lay down because he felt really tired, and the carriage wouldn’t bring her from the station until four o'clock. But as the time drew near, he became restless and headed for the schoolroom, which overlooked the drive. The sun blinds were down, and Holly was there with Mademoiselle Beauce, keeping cool from the heat of a sweltering July day while they took care of their silkworms. Old Jolyon had a natural dislike for these methodical creatures, whose heads and colors reminded him of elephants, who made so many holes in nice green leaves, and smelled, as he thought, awful. He sat down on a chintz-covered window seat where he could see the drive and catch whatever breeze was available, and the dog Balthasar, who enjoyed chintz on hot days, jumped up next to him. Over the cottage piano was a faded violet dust sheet, almost grey, and on it sat the first lavender, filling the room with its scent. Despite the coolness here, or maybe because of it, the vitality of life struck his dulled senses with force. Each beam of sunlight that slipped through the cracks was annoyingly bright; the dog had a strong odor; the lavender aroma was overpowering; those silkworms moving their grey-green bodies seemed horrifyingly alive; and Holly’s dark head bent over them had a beautifully silky sheen. Life was a marvelously cruelly strong thing when you were old and weak; it seemed to mock you with its many forms and vibrant energy. Until those last few weeks, he had never felt this strange sense of being pulled along in the current of life with one half of him eagerly engaged and the other half left on the shore, watching that helpless journey. Only when Irene was with him did he lose this divided awareness.

Holly turned her head, pointed with her little brown fist to the piano—for to point with a finger was not 'well-brrred'—and said slyly:

Holly turned her head, pointed with her little brown fist at the piano—because pointing with a finger was not 'well-bred'—and said slyly:

“Look at the 'lady in grey,' Gran; isn't she pretty to-day?”

“Look at the 'lady in grey,' Grandma; isn't she pretty today?”

Old Jolyon's heart gave a flutter, and for a second the room was clouded; then it cleared, and he said with a twinkle:

Old Jolyon's heart fluttered, and for a moment the room seemed foggy; then it cleared up, and he said with a twinkle:

“Who's been dressing her up?”

“Who’s been styling her?”

“Mam'zelle.”

“Ma'am.”

“Hollee! Don't be foolish!”

“Hey! Don't be silly!”

That prim little Frenchwoman! She hadn't yet got over the music lessons being taken away from her. That wouldn't help. His little sweet was the only friend they had. Well, they were her lessons. And he shouldn't budge shouldn't budge for anything. He stroked the warm wool on Balthasar's head, and heard Holly say: “When mother's home, there won't be any changes, will there? She doesn't like strangers, you know.”

That prim little Frenchwoman! She still hadn’t recovered from losing her music lessons. That wouldn’t help. His little darling was the only friend they had. Well, they were her lessons. And he shouldn’t give in, not for anything. He stroked the warm wool on Balthasar's head and heard Holly say, “When Mom’s home, there won’t be any changes, will there? She doesn’t like strangers, you know.”

The child's words seemed to bring the chilly atmosphere of opposition about old Jolyon, and disclose all the menace to his new-found freedom. Ah! He would have to resign himself to being an old man at the mercy of care and love, or fight to keep this new and prized companionship; and to fight tired him to death. But his thin, worn face hardened into resolution till it appeared all Jaw. This was his house, and his affair; he should not budge! He looked at his watch, old and thin like himself; he had owned it fifty years. Past four already! And kissing the top of Holly's head in passing, he went down to the hall. He wanted to get hold of her before she went up to give her lesson. At the first sound of wheels he stepped out into the porch, and saw at once that the victoria was empty.

The child's words seemed to create a cold atmosphere of conflict around old Jolyon, revealing all the threats to his newfound freedom. Ah! He would have to accept being an old man at the mercy of care and love, or fight to keep this new and cherished companionship; and the thought of fighting exhausted him completely. But his thin, tired face hardened with determination until it looked all jaw. This was his house, and his business; he wouldn’t back down! He glanced at his watch, old and thin like him; he had owned it for fifty years. Already past four! And kissing the top of Holly's head as he passed, he went down to the hall. He wanted to catch her before she went upstairs to give her lesson. At the first sound of wheels, he stepped out into the porch and immediately saw that the victoria was empty.

“The train's in, sir; but the lady 'asn't come.”

“The train's here, sir; but the lady hasn't arrived.”

Old Jolyon gave him a sharp upward look, his eyes seemed to push away that fat chap's curiosity, and defy him to see the bitter disappointment he was feeling.

Old Jolyon shot him a quick look, his eyes seemed to brush off that fat guy's curiosity, and challenged him to notice the deep disappointment he was experiencing.

“Very well,” he said, and turned back into the house. He went to his study and sat down, quivering like a leaf. What did this mean? She might have lost her train, but he knew well enough she hadn't. 'Good-bye, dear Uncle Jolyon.' Why 'Good-bye' and not 'Good-night'. And that hand of hers lingering in the air. And her kiss. What did it mean? Vehement alarm and irritation took possession of him. He got up and began to pace the Turkey carpet, between window and wall. She was going to give him up! He felt it for certain—and he defenceless. An old man wanting to look on beauty! It was ridiculous! Age closed his mouth, paralysed his power to fight. He had no right to what was warm and living, no right to anything but memories and sorrow. He could not plead with her; even an old man has his dignity. Defenceless! For an hour, lost to bodily fatigue, he paced up and down, past the bowl of carnations he had plucked, which mocked him with its scent. Of all things hard to bear, the prostration of will-power is hardest, for one who has always had his way. Nature had got him in its net, and like an unhappy fish he turned and swam at the meshes, here and there, found no hole, no breaking point. They brought him tea at five o'clock, and a letter. For a moment hope beat up in him. He cut the envelope with the butter knife, and read:

“Alright,” he said, turning back into the house. He went to his study and sat down, trembling like a leaf. What did this mean? She might have missed her train, but he knew well enough she hadn’t. 'Goodbye, dear Uncle Jolyon.' Why 'Goodbye' and not 'Goodnight'? And that hand of hers lingering in the air. And her kiss. What did it mean? Intense alarm and irritation consumed him. He got up and started to pace the Turkish carpet, back and forth between the window and the wall. She was going to give him up! He felt it for sure—and he was defenseless. An old man wanting to gaze upon beauty! It was absurd! Age had closed his mouth, paralyzed his ability to fight. He had no right to what was warm and alive, no right to anything but memories and sorrow. He couldn’t plead with her; even an old man has his dignity. Defenseless! For an hour, worn out physically, he paced back and forth, passing the bowl of carnations he had picked, which mocked him with its scent. Of all things difficult to endure, the collapse of willpower is the hardest for someone who has always gotten his way. Nature had caught him in its net, and like a miserable fish, he turned and swam against the mesh, here and there, finding no hole, no escape. They brought him tea at five o'clock, along with a letter. For a moment, hope surged within him. He sliced open the envelope with a butter knife and read:

“DEAREST UNCLE JOLYON,—I can't bear to write anything that may disappoint you, but I was too cowardly to tell you last night. I feel I can't come down and give Holly any more lessons, now that June is coming back. Some things go too deep to be forgotten. It has been such a joy to see you and Holly. Perhaps I shall still see you sometimes when you come up, though I'm sure it's not good for you; I can see you are tiring yourself too much. I believe you ought to rest quite quietly all this hot weather, and now you have your son and June coming back you will be so happy. Thank you a million times for all your sweetness to me.

“DEAREST UNCLE JOLYON,—I can’t stand the thought of disappointing you, but I was too much of a coward to tell you last night. I feel I can’t come down and give Holly any more lessons now that June is coming back. Some things cut too deep to be forgotten. It has been such a joy to see you and Holly. Maybe I’ll still see you sometimes when you come up, even though I know it’s not good for you; I can see you’re exhausting yourself too much. I really think you should take it easy during this hot weather, and now that you have your son and June returning, you will be so happy. Thank you a million times for all your kindness to me.

“Lovingly your IRENE.”

“Love, IRENE.”

So, there it was! Not good for him to have pleasure and what he chiefly cared about; to try and put off feeling the inevitable end of all things, the approach of death with its stealthy, rustling footsteps. Not good for him! Not even she could see how she was his new lease of interest in life, the incarnation of all the beauty he felt slipping from him.

So, there it was! It wasn’t good for him to indulge in pleasure and what he mainly cared about; to try to avoid feeling the unavoidable end of everything, the coming of death with its quiet, rustling footsteps. Not good for him! Not even she could see how she was his new reason to be interested in life, the embodiment of all the beauty he felt slipping away from him.

His tea grew cold, his cigar remained unlit; and up and down he paced, torn between his dignity and his hold on life. Intolerable to be squeezed out slowly, without a say of your own, to live on when your will was in the hands of others bent on weighing you to the ground with care and love. Intolerable! He would see what telling her the truth would do—the truth that he wanted the sight of her more than just a lingering on. He sat down at his old bureau and took a pen. But he could not write. There was something revolting in having to plead like this; plead that she should warm his eyes with her beauty. It was tantamount to confessing dotage. He simply could not. And instead, he wrote:

His tea got cold, his cigar stayed unlit; he walked back and forth, caught between his pride and his grip on life. It felt unbearable to be slowly pushed out, without any say in the matter, to keep living when his will was in the hands of others who were trying to weigh him down with care and love. Unbearable! He would see what telling her the truth would lead to—the truth that he wanted to see her more than just in passing. He sat down at his old desk and picked up a pen. But he couldn’t write. It felt disgusting to have to plead like this; to plead with her to brighten his life with her beauty. It felt like admitting he was losing his mind. He simply couldn’t do it. And instead, he wrote:

“I had hoped that the memory of old sores would not be allowed to stand in the way of what is a pleasure and a profit to me and my little grand-daughter. But old men learn to forego their whims; they are obliged to, even the whim to live must be foregone sooner or later; and perhaps the sooner the better.

“I had hoped that the memory of past hurts wouldn’t stop me from enjoying what brings me joy and benefits me and my little granddaughter. But old men learn to let go of their desires; they have to, even the desire to live must be given up eventually; and maybe it’s better to do so sooner rather than later.”

“My love to you,

"Sending my love to you,"

“JOLYON FORSYTE.”

“Jolyon Forsyte.”

'Bitter,' he thought, 'but I can't help it. I'm tired.' He sealed and dropped it into the box for the evening post, and hearing it fall to the bottom, thought: 'There goes all I've looked forward to!'

'It's bitter,' he thought, 'but I can't help it. I'm exhausted.' He sealed it up and dropped it into the box for the evening mail, and hearing it hit the bottom, thought: 'There goes everything I was looking forward to!'

That evening after dinner which he scarcely touched, after his cigar which he left half-smoked for it made him feel faint, he went very slowly upstairs and stole into the night-nursery. He sat down on the window-seat. A night-light was burning, and he could just see Holly's face, with one hand underneath the cheek. An early cockchafer buzzed in the Japanese paper with which they had filled the grate, and one of the horses in the stable stamped restlessly. To sleep like that child! He pressed apart two rungs of the venetian blind and looked out. The moon was rising, blood-red. He had never seen so red a moon. The woods and fields out there were dropping to sleep too, in the last glimmer of the summer light. And beauty, like a spirit, walked. 'I've had a long life,' he thought, 'the best of nearly everything. I'm an ungrateful chap; I've seen a lot of beauty in my time. Poor young Bosinney said I had a sense of beauty. There's a man in the moon to-night!' A moth went by, another, another. 'Ladies in grey!' He closed his eyes. A feeling that he would never open them again beset him; he let it grow, let himself sink; then, with a shiver, dragged the lids up. There was something wrong with him, no doubt, deeply wrong; he would have to have the doctor after all. It didn't much matter now! Into that coppice the moon-light would have crept; there would be shadows, and those shadows would be the only things awake. No birds, beasts, flowers, insects; Just the shadows—moving; 'Ladies in grey!' Over that log they would climb; would whisper together. She and Bosinney! Funny thought! And the frogs and little things would whisper too! How the clock ticked, in here! It was all eerie—out there in the light of that red moon; in here with the little steady night-light and, the ticking clock and the nurse's dressing-gown hanging from the edge of the screen, tall, like a woman's figure. 'Lady in grey!' And a very odd thought beset him: Did she exist? Had she ever come at all? Or was she but the emanation of all the beauty he had loved and must leave so soon? The violet-grey spirit with the dark eyes and the crown of amber hair, who walks the dawn and the moonlight, and at blue-bell time? What was she, who was she, did she exist? He rose and stood a moment clutching the window-sill, to give him a sense of reality again; then began tiptoeing towards the door. He stopped at the foot of the bed; and Holly, as if conscious of his eyes fixed on her, stirred, sighed, and curled up closer in defence. He tiptoed on and passed out into the dark passage; reached his room, undressed at once, and stood before a mirror in his night-shirt. What a scarecrow—with temples fallen in, and thin legs! His eyes resisted his own image, and a look of pride came on his face. All was in league to pull him down, even his reflection in the glass, but he was not down—yet! He got into bed, and lay a long time without sleeping, trying to reach resignation, only too well aware that fretting and disappointment were very bad for him.

That evening, after dinner which he barely touched, and the cigar he left half-smoked because it made him feel dizzy, he slowly went upstairs and sneaked into the night nursery. He sat down on the window seat. A night-light was glowing, and he could just see Holly's face, with one hand under her cheek. An early cockchafer buzzed against the Japanese paper they had stuffed into the grate, and one of the horses in the stable stamped restlessly. To sleep like that child! He pressed apart two slats of the Venetian blind and looked outside. The moon was rising, blood-red. He had never seen a moon that red before. The woods and fields out there were falling asleep too, in the fading glow of the summer light. And beauty, like a spirit, walked. 'I've had a long life,' he thought, 'the best of nearly everything. I'm an ungrateful guy; I've seen a lot of beauty in my time. Poor young Bosinney said I had a sense of beauty. There's a man in the moon tonight!' A moth flew by, then another, and another. 'Ladies in grey!' He closed his eyes. A feeling that he might never open them again overwhelmed him; he let it grow, allowed himself to sink; then, with a shudder, dragged his eyelids open. There was definitely something wrong with him, deeply wrong; he would have to call the doctor after all. It didn’t matter much now! Into that thicket, the moonlight would have crept; there would be shadows, and those shadows would be the only things awake. No birds, beasts, flowers, insects; just the shadows—moving; 'Ladies in grey!' They would climb over that log; they would whisper together. She and Bosinney! What a funny thought! And the frogs and little creatures would whisper too! How the clock ticked in here! It all felt eerie—out there in the light of that red moon; in here with the steady night-light, the ticking clock, and the nurse's dressing gown hanging from the edge of the screen, tall, like a woman’s figure. 'Lady in grey!' An odd thought crossed his mind: Did she really exist? Had she ever been there at all? Or was she just the reflection of all the beauty he had cherished and must leave behind so soon? The violet-grey spirit with dark eyes and a crown of amber hair, who walks at dawn and in the moonlight, and at bluebell time? What was she, who was she, did she exist? He stood up and for a moment gripped the window sill, trying to regain a sense of reality; then he began tiptoeing towards the door. He stopped at the foot of the bed; Holly, as if sensing his gaze on her, stirred, sighed, and curled up closer in defense. He tiptoed on and slipped into the dark hallway; reached his room, undressed immediately, and faced the mirror in his nightshirt. What a scarecrow—with sunken temples and thin legs! His eyes resisted his own reflection, and a look of pride appeared on his face. Everything was working against him, even his reflection in the glass, but he was not down—yet! He got into bed and lay there for a long time without sleeping, trying to accept his situation, fully aware that worrying and disappointment were very bad for him.

He woke in the morning so unrefreshed and strengthless that he sent for the doctor. After sounding him, the fellow pulled a face as long as your arm, and ordered him to stay in bed and give up smoking. That was no hardship; there was nothing to get up for, and when he felt ill, tobacco always lost its savour. He spent the morning languidly with the sun-blinds down, turning and re-turning The Times, not reading much, the dog Balthasar lying beside his bed. With his lunch they brought him a telegram, running thus:

He woke up in the morning feeling completely exhausted and weak, so he called the doctor. After checking him out, the doctor made a long face and told him to stay in bed and quit smoking. That wasn’t a big deal; there was no reason to get up, and when he felt sick, smoking never appealed to him anyway. He spent the morning lazily with the shades down, flipping through The Times but not really reading much, with his dog Balthasar lying next to his bed. Along with his lunch, they brought him a telegram that said:

'Your letter received coming down this afternoon will be with you at four-thirty. Irene.'

'I'll be bringing your letter that I got this afternoon to you at four-thirty. Irene.'

Coming down! After all! Then she did exist—and he was not deserted. Coming down! A glow ran through his limbs; his cheeks and forehead felt hot. He drank his soup, and pushed the tray-table away, lying very quiet until they had removed lunch and left him alone; but every now and then his eyes twinkled. Coming down! His heart beat fast, and then did not seem to beat at all. At three o'clock he got up and dressed deliberately, noiselessly. Holly and Mam'zelle would be in the schoolroom, and the servants asleep after their dinner, he shouldn't wonder. He opened his door cautiously, and went downstairs. In the hall the dog Balthasar lay solitary, and, followed by him, old Jolyon passed into his study and out into the burning afternoon. He meant to go down and meet her in the coppice, but felt at once he could not manage that in this heat. He sat down instead under the oak tree by the swing, and the dog Balthasar, who also felt the heat, lay down beside him. He sat there smiling. What a revel of bright minutes! What a hum of insects, and cooing of pigeons! It was the quintessence of a summer day. Lovely! And he was happy—happy as a sand-boy, whatever that might be. She was coming; she had not given him up! He had everything in life he wanted—except a little more breath, and less weight—just here! He would see her when she emerged from the fernery, come swaying just a little, a violet-grey figure passing over the daisies and dandelions and 'soldiers' on the lawn—the soldiers with their flowery crowns. He would not move, but she would come up to him and say: 'Dear Uncle Jolyon, I am sorry!' and sit in the swing and let him look at her and tell her that he had not been very well but was all right now; and that dog would lick her hand. That dog knew his master was fond of her; that dog was a good dog.

Coming down! After all! So she did exist—and he was not alone. Coming down! A warm feeling ran through his body; his cheeks and forehead felt hot. He drank his soup and pushed the tray-table away, lying very still until they cleared away lunch and left him alone; but every now and then, his eyes sparkled. Coming down! His heart raced, then felt like it wasn’t beating at all. At three o'clock, he got up and dressed slowly and quietly. Holly and Mam'zelle would be in the schoolroom, and the servants would probably be asleep after their dinner. He opened his door carefully and went downstairs. In the hall, the dog Balthasar lay by himself, and, followed by him, old Jolyon stepped into his study and out into the blazing afternoon. He intended to go down and meet her in the woods but immediately realized he couldn’t manage that in this heat. Instead, he sat under the oak tree by the swing, and Balthasar, also feeling the heat, lay down beside him. He sat there smiling. What a joy of bright moments! What a buzz of insects and cooing of pigeons! It was the essence of a summer day. Beautiful! And he was happy—happy as a child, whatever that might mean. She was coming; she hadn’t given up on him! He had everything in life he wanted—except a bit more breath and less weight—right here! He would see her when she came out from the fernery, swaying just a little, a violet-grey figure gliding over the daisies and dandelions and 'soldiers' on the lawn—the soldiers with their flowery crowns. He wouldn’t move, but she would come up to him and say: 'Dear Uncle Jolyon, I’m sorry!' and sit in the swing, allowing him to look at her and tell her he hadn’t been feeling great but was fine now; and that dog would lick her hand. That dog knew his owner cared for her; that dog was a good dog.

It was quite shady under the tree; the sun could not get at him, only make the rest of the world bright so that he could see the Grand Stand at Epsom away out there, very far, and the cows cropping the clover in the field and swishing at the flies with their tails. He smelled the scent of limes, and lavender. Ah! that was why there was such a racket of bees. They were excited—busy, as his heart was busy and excited. Drowsy, too, drowsy and drugged on honey and happiness; as his heart was drugged and drowsy. Summer—summer—they seemed saying; great bees and little bees, and the flies too!

It was pretty shady under the tree; the sun couldn't reach him, only brightening everything else so he could see the Grand Stand at Epsom way over there, really far, and the cows munching on clover in the field, swatting at flies with their tails. He caught the scent of limes and lavender. Ah! That was why there was such a buzz of bees. They were excited—busy, just like his heart was busy and excited. Drowsy too, drowsy and mellow from honey and happiness; just like his heart was mellow and drowsy. Summer—summer—they seemed to be saying; big bees and little bees, and the flies too!

The stable clock struck four; in half an hour she would be here. He would have just one tiny nap, because he had had so little sleep of late; and then he would be fresh for her, fresh for youth and beauty, coming towards him across the sunlit lawn—lady in grey! And settling back in his chair he closed his eyes. Some thistle-down came on what little air there was, and pitched on his moustache more white than itself. He did not know; but his breathing stirred it, caught there. A ray of sunlight struck through and lodged on his boot. A bumble-bee alighted and strolled on the crown of his Panama hat. And the delicious surge of slumber reached the brain beneath that hat, and the head swayed forward and rested on his breast. Summer—summer! So went the hum.

The stable clock struck four; in half an hour, she would be here. He would have just a quick nap since he had been getting so little sleep lately; then he’d be fresh for her, fresh for youth and beauty, walking towards him across the sunlit lawn—lady in gray! Settling back in his chair, he closed his eyes. Some thistle-down floated on the little air there was and landed on his mustache, looking whiter than it. He didn’t know, but his breathing stirred it, caught there. A ray of sunlight broke through and rested on his boot. A bumblebee landed and wandered on the brim of his Panama hat. The sweet wave of sleep washed over the mind beneath that hat, and his head tilted forward to rest on his chest. Summer—summer! So went the hum.

The stable clock struck the quarter past. The dog Balthasar stretched and looked up at his master. The thistledown no longer moved. The dog placed his chin over the sunlit foot. It did not stir. The dog withdrew his chin quickly, rose, and leaped on old Jolyon's lap, looked in his face, whined; then, leaping down, sat on his haunches, gazing up. And suddenly he uttered a long, long howl.

The clock in the stable chimed a quarter past. The dog Balthasar stretched and glanced up at his owner. The thistledown had stopped moving. The dog rested his chin on the sunlit foot. It didn't budge. The dog quickly pulled his chin back, stood up, and jumped onto old Jolyon's lap, looking at his face and whining; then, jumping down, he sat back on his haunches, gazing up. And suddenly, he let out a long, mournful howl.

But the thistledown was still as death, and the face of his old master.

But the thistledown was as still as death, just like the face of his old master.

Summer—summer—summer! The soundless footsteps on the grass!

Summer—summer—summer! The quiet footsteps on the grass!

1917

1917


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