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THE SUBJECTION
OF
WOMEN
LONDON
LONGMANS, GREEN, READER, AND DYER
1869
LONDON
LONGMANS, GREEN, READER, AND DYER
1869
CHAPTER I.
The object of this Essay is to explain as clearly as I am able, the grounds of an opinion which I have held from the very earliest period when I had formed any opinions at all on social or political matters, and which, instead of being weakened or modified, has been constantly growing stronger by the progress of reflection and the experience of life: That the principle which regulates the existing social relations between the two sexes—the legal subordination of one sex to the other—is wrong in itself, and now one of the chief hindrances to human improvement; and that it ought to be replaced by a principle of perfect equality, admitting no power or privilege on the one side, nor disability on the other.
The purpose of this Essay is to explain as clearly as I can the basis of a belief that I've held since I first started forming opinions on social or political issues. This belief, instead of losing strength, has only grown stronger through reflection and life experience: that the principle governing the current social relations between the two sexes—the legal subordination of one sex to the other—is inherently wrong and is now one of the main obstacles to human progress. This principle should be replaced by one of total equality, allowing no power or privilege for one side, nor disadvantage for the other.
The very words necessary to express the task I have undertaken, show how arduous it is. But it would be a mistake to suppose that the difficulty of the case must lie in the insufficiency or obscurity of the grounds of reason on which [Pg 2] my conviction rests. The difficulty is that which exists in all cases in which there is a mass of feeling to be contended against. So long as an opinion is strongly rooted in the feelings, it gains rather than loses in stability by having a preponderating weight of argument against it. For if it were accepted as a result of argument, the refutation of the argument might shake the solidity of the conviction; but when it rests solely on feeling, the worse it fares in argumentative contest, the more persuaded its adherents are that their feeling must have some deeper ground, which the arguments do not reach; and while the feeling remains, it is always throwing up fresh intrenchments of argument to repair any breach made in the old. And there are so many causes tending to make the feelings connected with this subject the most intense and most deeply-rooted of all those which gather round and protect old institutions and customs, that we need not wonder to find them as yet less undermined and loosened than any of the rest by the progress of the great modern spiritual and social transition; nor suppose that the barbarisms to which men cling longest must be less barbarisms than those which they earlier shake off.
The very words needed to express the task I’ve taken on show how tough it is. But it would be a mistake to think that the difficulty of the case lies in the lack or confusion of the reasons my conviction is based on. The challenge is similar to what occurs in any situation where strong feelings are at play. As long as an opinion is deeply rooted in feelings, it actually becomes more stable, rather than less, when faced with a lot of arguments against it. If it were accepted solely based on reasoning, then countering that reasoning could weaken the belief; but when it relies just on feelings, the more it struggles in argument, the more its supporters are convinced that their feelings must have some deeper justification that the arguments can’t touch. As long as the feeling exists, it keeps generating new arguments to fix any gaps in the old ones. Moreover, there are many factors that make the feelings surrounding this topic some of the most intense and deeply ingrained of all those that defend old institutions and customs. Therefore, it’s no surprise that they are still less shaken and weakened by the ongoing significant spiritual and social changes than any of the others; nor should we assume that the outdated beliefs people hold onto the longest are any less outdated than those they let go of earlier.
In every respect the burthen is hard on those who attack an almost universal opinion. They must be very fortunate as well as unusually [Pg 3] capable if they obtain a hearing at all. They have more difficulty in obtaining a trial, than any other litigants have in getting a verdict. If they do extort a hearing, they are subjected to a set of logical requirements totally different from those exacted from other people. In all other cases, the burthen of proof is supposed to lie with the affirmative. If a person is charged with a murder, it rests with those who accuse him to give proof of his guilt, not with himself to prove his innocence. If there is a difference of opinion about the reality of any alleged historical event, in which the feelings of men in general are not much interested, as the Siege of Troy for example, those who maintain that the event took place are expected to produce their proofs, before those who take the other side can be required to say anything; and at no time are these required to do more than show that the evidence produced by the others is of no value. Again, in practical matters, the burthen of proof is supposed to be with those who are against liberty; who contend for any restriction or prohibition; either any limitation of the general freedom of human action, or any disqualification or disparity of privilege affecting one person or kind of persons, as compared with others. The à priori presumption is in favour of freedom and impartiality. It is held that there should [Pg 4] be no restraint not required by the general good, and that the law should be no respecter of persons, but should treat all alike, save where dissimilarity of treatment is required by positive reasons, either of justice or of policy. But of none of these rules of evidence will the benefit be allowed to those who maintain the opinion I profess. It is useless for me to say that those who maintain the doctrine that men have a right to command and women are under an obligation to obey, or that men are fit for government and women unfit, are on the affirmative side of the question, and that they are bound to show positive evidence for the assertions, or submit to their rejection. It is equally unavailing for me to say that those who deny to women any freedom or privilege rightly allowed to men, having the double presumption against them that they are opposing freedom and recommending partiality, must be held to the strictest proof of their case, and unless their success be such as to exclude all doubt, the judgment ought to go against them. These would be thought good pleas in any common case; but they will not be thought so in this instance. Before I could hope to make any impression, I should be expected not only to answer all that has ever been said by those who take the other side of the question, but to imagine all that could be said by them—to find them [Pg 5] in reasons, as well as answer all I find: and besides refuting all arguments for the affirmative, I shall be called upon for invincible positive arguments to prove a negative. And even if I could do all this, and leave the opposite party with a host of unanswered arguments against them, and not a single unrefuted one on their side, I should be thought to have done little; for a cause supported on the one hand by universal usage, and on the other by so great a preponderance of popular sentiment, is supposed to have a presumption in its favour, superior to any conviction which an appeal to reason has power to produce in any intellects but those of a high class.
In every way, the burden is tough on those who challenge nearly universal beliefs. They have to be very lucky and exceptionally capable just to get heard at all. They find it harder to get a fair hearing than other litigants do to secure a verdict. If they manage to get a hearing, they face a set of logical standards completely different from what others encounter. In ordinary cases, the burden of proof lies with the party making the claim. For instance, if someone is accused of murder, it’s up to the accusers to prove that he is guilty, not for him to prove his innocence. When there’s a debate about the existence of a disputed historical event, where the general public isn’t deeply invested, like the Siege of Troy, those who claim it happened must present their evidence before anyone opposing them must respond; and at any point, the opponents are only required to show that the evidence provided by the other side isn’t valid. Similarly, in practical issues, the burden of proof typically lies with those arguing against freedom—those pushing for restrictions or prohibitions; whether it’s limiting general human freedom or creating inequality in rights between different people. The default assumption favors freedom and fairness. It’s believed that there shouldn’t be any restrictions unless they’re necessary for the common good, and that the law should treat everyone equally, except when differences in treatment can be justified by clear reasons of justice or public policy. However, none of these evidentiary rules will benefit those who support the views I hold. It’s pointless for me to point out that those who argue that men have the right to command and women must obey, or that men are fit to govern while women are not, are on the affirmative side and must provide clear evidence for their claims, or accept that their views will be dismissed. It’s equally ineffective for me to assert that those denying women the freedoms and rights granted to men, already face an uphill battle because they’re against freedom and promoting bias, must meet a high standard of proof. If their case doesn’t eliminate all doubts, the judgment should go against them. These would be valid arguments in any regular situation; however, they won’t be considered valid here. Before I could expect to have any impact, I would need to not only respond to everything ever said by the opposition, but also anticipate everything they might say—essentially searching for their reasons and replying to every one I find; and besides refuting all arguments supporting the affirmative side, I’d also be expected to provide undeniable positive arguments to support a negative claim. Even if I managed to do all this, leaving the opposing party with numerous unanswered points and not a single argument unaffected on their side, I would still be seen as having accomplished little. After all, a cause backed by widespread custom on one side and immense popular sentiment on the other is considered to carry a presumption in its favor that outweighs any reasoning that could affect the minds of anyone other than those of a higher intellect.
I do not mention these difficulties to complain of them; first, because it would be useless; they are inseparable from having to contend through people's understandings against the hostility of their feelings and practical tendencies: and truly the understandings of the majority of mankind would need to be much better cultivated than has ever yet been the case, before they can be asked to place such reliance in their own power of estimating arguments, as to give up practical principles in which they have been born and bred and which are the basis of much of the existing order of the world, at the first argumentative attack which they are not capable of logically resisting. I do not therefore quarrel with them [Pg 6] for having too little faith in argument, but for having too much faith in custom and the general feeling. It is one of the characteristic prejudices of the reaction of the nineteenth century against the eighteenth, to accord to the unreasoning elements in human nature the infallibility which the eighteenth century is supposed to have ascribed to the reasoning elements. For the apotheosis of Reason we have substituted that of Instinct; and we call everything instinct which we find in ourselves and for which we cannot trace any rational foundation. This idolatry, infinitely more degrading than the other, and the most pernicious of the false worships of the present day, of all of which it is now the main support, will probably hold its ground until it gives way before a sound psychology, laying bare the real root of much that is bowed down to as the intention of Nature and the ordinance of God. As regards the present question, I am willing to accept the unfavourable conditions which the prejudice assigns to me. I consent that established custom, and the general feeling, should be deemed conclusive against me, unless that custom and feeling from age to age can be shown to have owed their existence to other causes than their soundness, and to have derived their power from the worse rather than the better parts of human nature. I am willing that judgment [Pg 7] should go against me, unless I can show that my judge has been tampered with. The concession is not so great as it might appear; for to prove this, is by far the easiest portion of my task.
I don’t bring up these challenges to complain about them; first, because it would be pointless. They come with the territory of having to argue against people's emotions and practical inclinations: and honestly, the understanding of most people would need to be much better developed than it currently is before they could be expected to trust their ability to judge arguments enough to abandon the practical beliefs they've grown up with, which form the foundation of much of the current order of the world, just because of one argument they can’t logically counter. So, I don’t blame them for having too little faith in argument; I blame them for having too much faith in custom and collective sentiment. It’s one of the typical biases of the nineteenth century reacting against the eighteenth century to grant the unreasoning aspects of human nature a kind of infallibility that the previous century was thought to have given to reasoning. Instead of idolizing Reason, we’ve now placed Instinct on a pedestal; we label anything instinctive that we find within us and can’t trace back to a logical basis. This worship is far more degrading than the former, and it’s the most harmful of today’s misguided adulations, which now serves as its primary support, likely persisting until it’s challenged by solid psychology, which will reveal the true origins of much that is bowed down to as the will of Nature and the decree of God. Regarding the current issue, I’m willing to accept the unfavorable conditions that prejudice assigns to me. I agree that established customs and collective feelings should be considered conclusive against me, unless it can be shown that these customs and feelings throughout time came from reasons other than their validity, and that their influence stemmed from the worst rather than the best aspects of human nature. I am prepared for judgment to go against me unless I can demonstrate that my judge has been influenced. The concession isn’t as substantial as it might seem; because proving this is by far the easiest part of my task.
The generality of a practice is in some cases a strong presumption that it is, or at all events once was, conducive to laudable ends. This is the case, when the practice was first adopted, or afterwards kept up, as a means to such ends, and was grounded on experience of the mode in which they could be most effectually attained. If the authority of men over women, when first established, had been the result of a conscientious comparison between different modes of constituting the government of society; if, after trying various other modes of social organization—the government of women over men, equality between the two, and such mixed and divided modes of government as might be invented—it had been decided, on the testimony of experience, that the mode in which women are wholly under the rule of men, having no share at all in public concerns, and each in private being under the legal obligation of obedience to the man with whom she has associated her destiny, was the arrangement most conducive to the happiness and well being of both; its general adoption might then be fairly thought to be some evidence that, at the time when it was adopted, if was the best: though even [Pg 8] then the considerations which recommended it may, like so many other primeval social facts of the greatest importance, have subsequently, in the course of ages, ceased to exist. But the state of the case is in every respect the reverse of this. In the first place, the opinion in favour of the present system, which entirely subordinates the weaker sex to the stronger, rests upon theory only; for there never has been trial made of any other: so that experience, in the sense in which it is vulgarly opposed to theory, cannot be pretended to have pronounced any verdict. And in the second place, the adoption of this system of inequality never was the result of deliberation, or forethought, or any social ideas, or any notion whatever of what conduced to the benefit of humanity or the good order of society. It arose simply from the fact that from the very earliest twilight of human society, every woman (owing to the value attached to her by men, combined with her inferiority in muscular strength) was found in a state of bondage to some man. Laws and systems of polity always begin by recognising the relations they find already existing between individuals. They convert what was a mere physical fact into a legal right, give it the sanction of society, and principally aim at the substitution of public and organized means of asserting and protecting these rights, instead [Pg 9] of the irregular and lawless conflict of physical strength. Those who had already been compelled to obedience became in this manner legally bound to it. Slavery, from being a mere affair of force between the master and the slave, became regularized and a matter of compact among the masters, who, binding themselves to one another for common protection, guaranteed by their collective strength the private possessions of each, including his slaves. In early times, the great majority of the male sex were slaves, as well as the whole of the female. And many ages elapsed, some of them ages of high cultivation, before any thinker was bold enough to question the rightfulness, and the absolute social necessity, either of the one slavery or of the other. By degrees such thinkers did arise: and (the general progress of society assisting) the slavery of the male sex has, in all the countries of Christian Europe at least (though, in one of them, only within the last few years) been at length abolished, and that of the female sex has been gradually changed into a milder form of dependence. But this dependence, as it exists at present, is not an original institution, taking a fresh start from considerations of justice and social expediency—it is the primitive state of slavery lasting on, through successive mitigations and modifications occasioned by the same causes [Pg 10] which have softened the general manners, and brought all human relations more under the control of justice and the influence of humanity. It has not lost the taint of its brutal origin. No presumption in its favour, therefore, can be drawn from the fact of its existence. The only such presumption which it could be supposed to have, must be grounded on its having lasted till now, when so many other things which came down from the same odious source have been done away with. And this, indeed, is what makes it strange to ordinary ears, to hear it asserted that the inequality of rights between men and women has no other source than the law of the strongest.
The general prevalence of a practice often suggests that it contributes to positive outcomes. This is especially true when the practice was initially adopted or continued as a way to achieve those outcomes based on experience about the most effective methods to attain them. If the authority of men over women had originally come from a careful evaluation of different ways to govern society; if, after exploring various social structures—like female dominance over males, equality between both sexes, or other mixed governance styles—it had been concluded, based on experience, that the arrangement where women are entirely under men's control, having no role in public affairs, and being individually required to obey the man they are with, was the most beneficial for the happiness and well-being of everyone; then its widespread acceptance might suggest that it was the best solution at that time. Even so, the reasons that justified it may, like many other fundamental social realities, have faded away over centuries. However, the situation is quite the opposite. Firstly, the support for the current system, which completely places the weaker sex under the stronger, is based solely on theory; there has never been an attempt to try any alternatives, meaning that experience, as it’s often contrasted with theory, can't claim to have provided any judgment. Secondly, this system of inequality was never the result of careful consideration, foresight, social ideology, or any belief about what would benefit humanity or maintain societal order. It simply emerged because, from the very dawn of human society, every woman (due to the value seen in her by men, coupled with her physical weakness) was found subservient to some man. Laws and political systems usually begin by acknowledging the existing relationships between individuals. They turn a basic physical reality into a legal right, giving it societal approval, and primarily seek to establish organized and public means to assert and protect these rights instead of relying on the unpredictable and violent struggle of physical power. Those who had already been forced into submission became legally bound to that submission in this way. Slavery, which was initially just about physical power between the master and the slave, became formalized and a matter of agreement among the masters, who, by banding together for mutual protection, ensured through their combined strength the private property of each, including their slaves. In ancient times, most males were slaves alongside all females. It took many years, including some during periods of significant development, before any thinker was courageous enough to question the justice and absolute social necessity of either type of slavery. Gradually, such thinkers emerged, and with the overall progress of society helping, male slavery has finally been abolished in all Christian European countries at least (though one only achieved this in recent years), and female slavery has gradually transformed into a milder form of dependency. However, this current dependency is not a new institution arising from renewed ideas of justice and social good; it is essentially the original state of slavery persisting, now softened through various alleviations and adjustments due to causes that have also eased social manners and made human relationships more influenced by justice and humanity. It still bears the stigma of its brutal origins. Therefore, no assumptions in its favor can be made simply because it exists. The only possible presumption might come from its endurance until now, unlike so many other remnants of the same reprehensible origin that have been abolished. This is what makes it surprising to many to hear that the inequality in rights between men and women stems solely from the law of the strongest.
That this statement should have the effect of a paradox, is in some respects creditable to the progress of civilization, and the improvement of the moral sentiments of mankind. We now live—that is to say, one or two of the most advanced nations of the world now live—in a state in which the law of the strongest seems to be entirely abandoned as the regulating principle of the world's affairs: nobody professes it, and, as regards most of the relations between human beings, nobody is permitted to practise it. When any one succeeds in doing so, it is under cover of some pretext which gives him the semblance of having some general social interest on his side. [Pg 11] This being the ostensible state of things, people flatter themselves that the rule of mere force is ended; that the law of the strongest cannot be the reason of existence of anything which has remained in full operation down to the present time. However any of our present institutions may have begun, it can only, they think, have been preserved to this period of advanced civilization by a well-grounded feeling of its adaptation to human nature, and conduciveness to the general good. They do not understand the great vitality and durability of institutions which place right on the side of might; how intensely they are clung to; how the good as well as the bad propensities and sentiments of those who have power in their hands, become identified with retaining it; how slowly these bad institutions give way, one at a time, the weakest first, beginning with those which are least interwoven with the daily habits of life; and how very rarely those who have obtained legal power because they first had physical, have ever lost their hold of it until the physical power had passed over to the other side. Such shifting of the physical force not having taken place in the case of women; this fact, combined with all the peculiar and characteristic features of the particular case, made it certain from the first that this branch of the system of right founded on might, though softened in its most atrocious features at an [Pg 12] earlier period than several of the others, would be the very last to disappear. It was inevitable that this one case of a social relation grounded on force, would survive through generations of institutions grounded on equal justice, an almost solitary exception to the general character of their laws and customs; but which, so long as it does not proclaim its own origin, and as discussion has not brought out its true character, is not felt to jar with modern civilization, any more than domestic slavery among the Greeks jarred with their notion of themselves as a free people.
The fact that this statement comes off as a paradox reflects, in some ways, the progress of civilization and the improvement of moral values among people. Today, we live—that is to say, in a couple of the most advanced nations in the world—we exist in a situation where the law of the strongest seems to be completely discarded as a guiding principle in global affairs: no one openly supports it, and in most human interactions, no one is allowed to practice it. When someone manages to do so, it’s usually under some guise that gives them the appearance of having a broader social interest on their side. [Pg 11] With this being the apparent state of affairs, people convince themselves that the rule of raw force has come to an end; that the law of the strongest can't explain the existence of anything that has continued to operate until now. No matter how our current institutions may have started, it's believed they can only have survived into this era of advanced civilization through a solid belief in their alignment with human nature and their overall benefit to society. They fail to grasp the significant vitality and endurance of institutions that align right with might; how deeply they are held onto; how both the good and bad instincts and feelings of those in power become intertwined with maintaining it; how slowly these negative institutions change, one after another, beginning with the weakest first, starting with those that are less embedded in everyday life; and how incredibly rare it is for those who gained legal power after first wielding physical power to lose it until the physical force has shifted to the other side. This absence of a shift in physical strength concerning women, combined with all the distinct features of this situation, made it clear from the start that this branch of the system of rights based on might, although softened in its most brutal aspects earlier than several others, would be the very last to vanish. It was inevitable that this case of a social relationship based on force would persist through generations of institutions based on equal justice, standing out as an almost unique exception to the overall nature of their laws and customs; but as long as it doesn’t reveal its own origins, and as discussions haven't revealed its true nature, it’s not seen as incompatible with modern civilization, just as domestic slavery among the Greeks didn’t conflict with their self-image as a free people. [Pg 12]
The truth is, that people of the present and the last two or three generations have lost all practical sense of the primitive condition of humanity; and only the few who have studied history accurately, or have much frequented the parts of the world occupied by the living representatives of ages long past, are able to form any mental picture of what society then was. People are not aware how entirely, in former ages, the law of superior strength was the rule of life; how publicly and openly it was avowed, I do not say cynically or shamelessly—for these words imply a feeling that there was something in it to be ashamed of, and no such notion could find a place in the faculties of any person in those ages, except a philosopher or a saint. History gives a cruel experience of human nature, in shewing [Pg 13] how exactly the regard due to the life, possessions, and entire earthly happiness of any class of persons, was measured by what they had the power of enforcing; how all who made any resistance to authorities that had arms in their hands, however dreadful might be the provocation, had not only the law of force but all other laws, and all the notions of social obligation against them; and in the eyes of those whom they resisted, were not only guilty of crime, but of the worst of all crimes, deserving the most cruel chastisement which human beings could inflict. The first small vestige of a feeling of obligation in a superior to acknowledge any right in inferiors, began when he had been induced, for convenience, to make some promise to them. Though these promises, even when sanctioned by the most solemn oaths, were for many ages revoked or violated on the most trifling provocation or temptation, it is probable that this, except by persons of still worse than the average morality, was seldom done without some twinges of conscience. The ancient republics, being mostly grounded from the first upon some kind of mutual compact, or at any rate formed by an union of persons not very unequal in strength, afforded, in consequence, the first instance of a portion of human relations fenced round, and placed under the dominion of another law than [Pg 14] that of force. And though the original law of force remained in full operation between them and their slaves, and also (except so far as limited by express compact) between a commonwealth and its subjects, or other independent commonwealths; the banishment of that primitive law even from so narrow a field, commenced the regeneration of human nature, by giving birth to sentiments of which experience soon demonstrated the immense value even for material interests, and which thenceforward only required to be enlarged, not created. Though slaves were no part of the commonwealth, it was in the free states that slaves were first felt to have rights as human beings. The Stoics were, I believe, the first (except so far as the Jewish law constitutes an exception) who taught as a part of morality that men were bound by moral obligations to their slaves. No one, after Christianity became ascendant, could ever again have been a stranger to this belief, in theory; nor, after the rise of the Catholic Church, was it ever without persons to stand up for it. Yet to enforce it was the most arduous task which Christianity ever had to perform. For more than a thousand years the Church kept up the contest, with hardly any perceptible success. It was not for want of power over men's minds. Its power was prodigious. It could make kings and nobles resign their most [Pg 15] valued possessions to enrich the Church. It could make thousands, in the prime of life and the height of worldly advantages, shut themselves up in convents to work out their salvation by poverty, fasting, and prayer. It could send hundreds of thousands across land and sea, Europe and Asia, to give their lives for the deliverance of the Holy Sepulchre. It could make kings relinquish wives who were the object of their passionate attachment, because the Church declared that they were within the seventh (by our calculation the fourteenth) degree of relationship. All this it did; but it could not make men fight less with one another, nor tyrannize less cruelly over the serfs, and when they were able, over burgesses. It could not make them renounce either of the applications of force; force militant, or force triumphant. This they could never be induced to do until they were themselves in their turn compelled by superior force. Only by the growing power of kings was an end put to fighting except between kings, or competitors for kingship; only by the growth of a wealthy and warlike bourgeoisie in the fortified towns, and of a plebeian infantry which proved more powerful in the field than the undisciplined chivalry, was the insolent tyranny of the nobles over the bourgeoisie and peasantry brought within some bounds. It was persisted in not only until, but long after, [Pg 16] the oppressed had obtained a power enabling them often to take conspicuous vengeance; and on the Continent much of it continued to the time of the French Revolution, though in England the earlier and better organization of the democratic classes put an end to it sooner, by establishing equal laws and free national institutions.
The truth is that people today and in the last two or three generations have lost all practical sense of the primitive state of humanity. Only a few who have accurately studied history or have spent significant time in areas occupied by the living descendants of ancient times can form a clear image of what society was like back then. People are unaware of how completely the law of superior strength governed life in former ages; how openly and publicly it was accepted. I don’t say it was cynically or shamelessly acknowledged—those words suggest a sense of shame that wouldn’t have existed in the minds of most people back then, except perhaps in philosophers or saints. History cruelly reveals human nature by showing how the value placed on life, property, and overall happiness of any social class was dictated by what they could enforce. Anyone who resisted authorities holding weapons, no matter how great the provocation, faced not just the law of force but also all other laws and societal expectations working against them. In the eyes of those they resisted, they were seen not only as criminals but as the worst kind of criminals, deserving the harshest punishments that could be inflicted. The first small sign of a sense of obligation for a superior to acknowledge any rights of their inferiors began when they were persuaded, out of convenience, to make some promise to them. Even though these promises, despite being solemnly sworn, were frequently broken for trivial reasons or temptations, it’s likely that this was rarely done without some pangs of conscience, aside from those with worse morals than the average. The ancient republics were mostly founded on some form of mutual agreement or through a union of individuals who were not greatly unequal in strength. This created the first instances of relationships subject to laws other than the law of force. Though the original law of force still applied between them and their slaves, and between a state and its subjects, or between different independent states, the gradual removal of that primitive law from even a narrow realm started the renewal of human nature, giving rise to feelings that soon proved to be incredibly valuable for material interests and only needed to be expanded, not created. Although slaves had no place within the states, it was in the free states that they were first recognized as having human rights. The Stoics, except where Jewish law presents an exception, were among the first to teach that people had moral obligations toward their slaves. After Christianity took hold, it became rare for anyone to be unfamiliar with this belief in theory. And once the Catholic Church rose to prominence, there were always people willing to advocate for it. However, enforcing this belief was the greatest challenge that Christianity ever faced. For over a thousand years, the Church struggled with little visible success. This wasn’t due to a lack of influence over people’s minds; its power was immense. It could persuade kings and nobles to give up their most cherished possessions to benefit the Church. It could inspire thousands, in the prime of their lives, to retreat into monasteries to secure their salvation through poverty, fasting, and prayer. It could send hundreds of thousands across lands and seas to risk their lives for the Holy Sepulchre. It could compel kings to abandon wives they loved because the Church deemed them too closely related under their laws. All of this was accomplished, yet it could not reduce the violence between individuals, nor lessen the brutal dominance over serfs and, when possible, over townspeople. It couldn't compel them to reject either form of force—offensive or oppressive. They would not surrender until they were themselves overpowered by greater force. Only the increasing power of kings brought an end to fighting except among kings and those vying for kingship. Only with the rise of a wealthy, militaristic middle class in fortified towns and a common foot soldier, who proved more effective in battle than the undisciplined knights, was the blatant tyranny of the nobles over the bourgeoisie and peasants somewhat checked. This oppression persisted not just until, but long after the oppressed gained the power to seek revenge openly; and on the Continent, much of it lasted until the French Revolution, although in England, the earlier and more effective organization of the democratic classes ended it sooner by establishing equal laws and free national institutions.
If people are mostly so little aware how completely, during the greater part of the duration of our species, the law of force was the avowed rule of general conduct, any other being only a special and exceptional consequence of peculiar ties—and from how very recent a date it is that the affairs of society in general have been even pretended to be regulated according to any moral law; as little do people remember or consider, how institutions and customs which never had any ground but the law of force, last on into ages and states of general opinion which never would have permitted their first establishment. Less than forty years ago, Englishmen might still by law hold human beings in bondage as saleable property: within the present century they might kidnap them and carry them off, and work them literally to death. This absolutely extreme case of the law of force, condemned by those who can tolerate almost every other form of arbitrary power, and which, of all others, presents features the most revolting to the feelings [Pg 17] of all who look at it from an impartial position, was the law of civilized and Christian England within the memory of persons now living: and in one half of Anglo-Saxon America three or four years ago, not only did slavery exist, but the slave trade, and the breeding of slaves expressly for it, was a general practice between slave states. Yet not only was there a greater strength of sentiment against it, but, in England at least, a less amount either of feeling or of interest in favour of it, than of any other of the customary abuses of force: for its motive was the love of gain, unmixed and undisguised; and those who profited by it were a very small numerical fraction of the country, while the natural feeling of all who were not personally interested in it, was unmitigated abhorrence. So extreme an instance makes it almost superfluous to refer to any other: but consider the long duration of absolute monarchy. In England at present it is the almost universal conviction that military despotism is a case of the law of force, having no other origin or justification. Yet in all the great nations of Europe except England it either still exists, or has only just ceased to exist, and has even now a strong party favourable to it in all ranks of the people, especially among persons of station and consequence. Such is the power of an established system, even when far from [Pg 18] universal; when not only in almost every period of history there have been great and well-known examples of the contrary system, but these have almost invariably been afforded by the most illustrious and most prosperous communities. In this case, too, the possessor of the undue power, the person directly interested in it, is only one person, while those who are subject to it and suffer from it are literally all the rest. The yoke is naturally and necessarily humiliating to all persons, except the one who is on the throne, together with, at most, the one who expects to succeed to it. How different are these cases from that of the power of men over women! I am not now prejudging the question of its justifiableness. I am showing how vastly more permanent it could not but be, even if not justifiable, than these other dominations which have nevertheless lasted down to our own time. Whatever gratification of pride there is in the possession of power, and whatever personal interest in its exercise, is in this case not confined to a limited class, but common to the whole male sex. Instead of being, to most of its supporters, a thing desirable chiefly in the abstract, or, like the political ends usually contended for by factious, of little private importance to any but the leaders; it comes home to the person and hearth of every male head of a family, and of every one [Pg 19] who looks forward to being so. The clodhopper exercises, or is to exercise, his share of the power equally with the highest nobleman. And the case is that in which the desire of power is the strongest: for every one who desires power, desires it most over those who are nearest to him, with whom his life is passed, with whom he has most concerns in common, and in whom any independence of his authority is oftenest likely to interfere with his individual preferences. If, in the other cases specified, powers manifestly grounded only on force, and having so much less to support them, are so slowly and with so much difficulty got rid of, much more must it be so with this, even if it rests on no better foundation than those. We must consider, too, that the possessors of the power have facilities in this case, greater than in any other, to prevent any uprising against it. Every one of the subjects lives under the very eye, and almost, it may be said, in the hands, of one of the masters—in closer intimacy with him than with any of her fellow-subjects; with no means of combining against him, no power of even locally over-mastering him, and, on the other hand, with the strongest motives for seeking his favour and avoiding to give him offence. In struggles for political emancipation, everybody knows how often its champions are bought off by bribes, or daunted [Pg 20] by terrors. In the case of women, each individual of the subject-class is in a chronic state of bribery and intimidation combined. In setting up the standard of resistance, a large number of the leaders, and still more of the followers, must make an almost complete sacrifice of the pleasures or the alleviations of their own individual lot. If ever any system of privilege and enforced subjection had its yoke tightly riveted on the necks of those who are kept down by it, this has. I have not yet shown that it is a wrong system: but every one who is capable of thinking on the subject must see that even if it is, it was certain to outlast all other forms of unjust authority. And when some of the grossest of the other forms still exist in many civilized countries, and have only recently been got rid of in others, it would be strange if that which is so much the deepest-rooted had yet been perceptibly shaken anywhere. There is more reason to wonder that the protests and testimonies against it should have been so numerous and so weighty as they are.
If people were more aware of how the law of force has been the accepted standard for behavior for most of human history, while any moral law has been a rare exception, they would understand how enduring institutions and customs based solely on force manage to persist even in societies that would never have allowed their inception. Less than forty years ago, people in England could still legally hold others as property. In this century, they could kidnap individuals, enslave them, and work them to death. This extreme example of the law of force, which even those who accept other forms of arbitrary power condemn, was the legal framework in civilized and Christian England during the lifetimes of people today. Just a few years ago, in parts of Anglo-Saxon America, not only did slavery exist, but so did the slave trade, and the breeding of slaves specifically for that purpose was widespread among slave states. Yet, there was not only stronger opposition to it, but in England at least, less support for it than for any other common abuses of power: its motivation was pure greed, and only a small fraction of the population benefited from it, while the overwhelming consensus from those not personally invested was absolute revulsion. Such an extreme case makes it almost unnecessary to mention others, yet we should consider the prolonged existence of absolute monarchy. In England today, there's a nearly universal belief that military dictatorship is simply a manifestation of the law of force with no other rationale. However, in nearly all major European nations except for England, military despots either still reign or have only recently been ousted, and there remains a strong faction in favor of such rule across all social classes, especially among the influential. This demonstrates the power of an established system, even when it's not universally accepted; throughout history there have been many prominent examples of opposing systems that have been upheld by the most distinguished and prosperous societies. In this scenario, the individual wielding undue power is just one person, while everyone else is subject to its detrimental effects. The oppression inherently humiliates everyone except the ruler and possibly their designated successor. This situation is vastly different from the dynamic between men and women. I'm not judging its justifiability right now; I'm just highlighting how much more enduring it is likely to be than other forms of oppression that have nonetheless persisted to this day. Any pride associated with holding power and the personal interest in wielding it is not limited to a small group, but is shared by all men. Unlike political ambitions, which are often of little consequence to anyone but a select few leaders, this issue hits home for every male head of a household and anyone who hopes to be one. The average worker shares in this power equally with the highest nobleman. In fact, the desire for control is often strongest in this case because those who seek power want it most over those closest to them—those with whom they share their lives, their concerns, and any independence that might conflict with their personal preferences. If power structures that are clearly based only on force and have far less to support them are so difficult to dismantle, this case is likely to be even more entrenched. We also have to remember that those who hold power here have more ways to prevent rebellion than in any other scenario. Each subject lives under the scrutiny and almost in the control of their master, maintaining closer contact with them than with any of their fellow subjects and having no way to combine against them, no means to overpower them locally, and the strongest reasons to seek their favor while avoiding discontent. In political struggles for freedom, it is well-known how often advocates are silenced by bribes or intimidation. For women, every individual in the subordinate position is in a constant state of bribery and intimidation. In leading any form of resistance, many leaders, and even more followers, must significantly sacrifice their own comforts or the little pleasures in their lives. If any system of privilege and enforced subjugation has its shackles heavily fastened on those oppressed by it, this one does. I haven't yet shown that it is an unjust system, but anyone capable of thinking critically about the issue must realize that even if it is unjustified, it was always bound to survive longer than other forms of illegitimate authority. And considering that some of the most flagrant injustices continue to exist in many so-called civilized nations, while others have only recently been eliminated, it would be quite surprising if a system as deeply rooted as this one had already been significantly challenged anywhere. There's even greater reason to be surprised by the sheer number and significance of protests and testimonies against it.
Some will object, that a comparison cannot fairly be made between the government of the male sex and the forms of unjust power which I have adduced in illustration of it, since these are arbitrary, and the effect of mere usurpation, while it on the contrary is natural. But was [Pg 21] there ever any domination which did not appear natural to those who possessed it? There was a time when the division of mankind into two classes, a small one of masters and a numerous one of slaves, appeared, even to the most cultivated minds, to be a natural, and the only natural, condition of the human race. No less an intellect, and one which contributed no less to the progress of human thought, than Aristotle, held this opinion without doubt or misgiving; and rested it on the same premises on which the same assertion in regard to the dominion of men over women is usually based, namely that there are different natures among mankind, free natures, and slave natures; that the Greeks were of a free nature, the barbarian races of Thracians and Asiatics of a slave nature. But why need I go back to Aristotle? Did not the slaveowners of the Southern United States maintain the same doctrine, with all the fanaticism with which men cling to the theories that justify their passions and legitimate their personal interests? Did they not call heaven and earth to witness that the dominion of the white man over the black is natural, that the black race is by nature incapable of freedom, and marked out for slavery? some even going so far as to say that the freedom of manual labourers is an unnatural order of things anywhere. Again, the theorists of absolute [Pg 22] monarchy have always affirmed it to be the only natural form of government; issuing from the patriarchal, which was the primitive and spontaneous form of society, framed on the model of the paternal, which is anterior to society itself, and, as they contend, the most natural authority of all. Nay, for that matter, the law of force itself, to those who could not plead any other, has always seemed the most natural of all grounds for the exercise of authority. Conquering races hold it to be Nature's own dictate that the conquered should obey the conquerors, or, as they euphoniously paraphrase it, that the feebler and more unwarlike races should submit to the braver and manlier. The smallest acquaintance with human life in the middle ages, shows how supremely natural the dominion of the feudal nobility over men of low condition appeared to the nobility themselves, and how unnatural the conception seemed, of a person of the inferior class claiming equality with them, or exercising authority over them. It hardly seemed less so to the class held in subjection. The emancipated serfs and burgesses, even in their most vigorous struggles, never made any pretension to a share of authority; they only demanded more or less of limitation to the power of tyrannizing over them. So true is it that unnatural generally means only uncustomary, and that everything [Pg 23] which is usual appears natural. The subjection of women to men being a universal custom, any departure from it quite naturally appears unnatural. But how entirely, even in this case, the feeling is dependent on custom, appears by ample experience. Nothing so much astonishes the people of distant parts of the world, when they first learn anything about England, as to be told that it is under a queen: the thing seems to them so unnatural as to be almost incredible. To Englishmen this does not seem in the least degree unnatural, because they are used to it; but they do feel it unnatural that women should be soldiers or members of parliament. In the feudal ages, on the contrary, war and politics were not thought unnatural to women, because not unusual; it seemed natural that women of the privileged classes should be of manly character, inferior in nothing but bodily strength to their husbands and fathers. The independence of women seemed rather less unnatural to the Greeks than to other ancients, on account of the fabulous Amazons (whom they believed to be historical), and the partial example afforded by the Spartan women; who, though no less subordinate by law than in other Greek states, were more free in fact, and being trained to bodily exercises in the same manner with men, gave ample proof that they were not naturally [Pg 24] disqualified for them. There can be little doubt that Spartan experience suggested to Plato, among many other of his doctrines, that of the social and political equality of the two sexes.
Some will argue that you can't fairly compare the governance of men with the forms of unjust power I’ve mentioned, since those are arbitrary and the result of simple usurpation, while this is seen as natural. But has there ever been a form of domination that didn’t seem natural to those who held it? There was a time when dividing humanity into two classes, a small group of masters and a large group of slaves, was viewed, even by the most educated minds, as the natural and only natural condition of humanity. No less a thinker than Aristotle believed this without doubt and based it on the same reasoning typically used to argue for the domination of men over women: that there are different natures among people, free natures and slave natures; that Greeks had free natures, while barbarian races like the Thracians and Asiatics had slave natures. But why go back to Aristotle? Didn't the slave owners in the Southern United States hold the same belief with the same fanaticism as those who cling to theories that just justify their passions and support their interests? Didn’t they insist it was natural for white men to dominate black men, claiming that the black race is naturally incapable of freedom, destined for slavery? Some even went so far as to say that the freedom of laborers is an unnatural situation everywhere. Additionally, theorists of absolute monarchy have always claimed it's the only natural form of government, emerging from patriarchy, the primitive and spontaneous form of society, modeled after paternal authority, which they argue is the most natural of all. In fact, even the law of force seems the most natural basis for authority to those who can’t argue for any other. Conquering races believe it’s Nature's own command that the conquered should follow the conquerors, or, as they would phrase it, that weaker, less warlike races should submit to the braver, stronger ones. A basic understanding of life in the Middle Ages shows how completely natural the dominance of the feudal nobility over lower classes appeared to the nobility themselves, and how extraordinary the idea of someone from a lower class claiming equality or authority over them seemed. This perception didn’t seem less strange to those being oppressed. The freed serfs and townspeople, even in their most determined struggles, never claimed a share of power; they only wanted some limitations on the tyranny over them. Indeed, it’s true that what is regarded as unnatural usually means something that is uncommon, and that everything typical seems natural. The subjugation of women to men is a universal custom, so any deviation from it naturally appears unnatural. Yet, how entirely dependent this feeling is on custom is evident from experience. Nothing astonishes people from distant places more when they first learn about England than to discover it is ruled by a queen: it seems so unnatural to them that it’s almost unbelievable. To English people, this doesn’t seem unnatural at all, since they’re used to it; however, they do find it unnatural for women to be soldiers or members of parliament. In feudal times, on the other hand, warfare and politics weren’t considered unnatural for women because they were not unusual; it seemed natural for women of privileged classes to embody manly traits, being equal to their husbands and fathers except in physical strength. The independence of women seemed less unnatural to the Greeks than to other ancient cultures because of the legendary Amazons (whom they thought were real) and the partial example of Spartan women; who were just as legally subordinate as women in other Greek states but more free in practice, and were trained in physical skills just like men, demonstrating they weren’t naturally unfit for them. There's little doubt that the Spartan experience influenced Plato, among many of his beliefs, to argue for the social and political equality of the two sexes.
But, it will be said, the rule of men over women differs from all these others in not being a rule of force: it is accepted voluntarily; women make no complaint, and are consenting parties to it. In the first place, a great number of women do not accept it. Ever since there have been women able to make their sentiments known by their writings (the only mode of publicity which society permits to them), an increasing number of them have recorded protests against their present social condition: and recently many thousands of them, headed by the most eminent women known to the public, have petitioned Parliament for their admission to the Parliamentary Suffrage. The claim of women to be educated as solidly, and in the same branches of knowledge, as men, is urged with growing intensity, and with a great prospect of success; while the demand for their admission into professions and occupations hitherto closed against them, becomes every year more urgent. Though there are not in this country, as there are in the United States, periodical Conventions and an organized party to agitate for the Rights of Women, there is a numerous and active Society organized and managed by women, for the more [Pg 25] limited object of obtaining the political franchise. Nor is it only in our own country and in America that women are beginning to protest, more or less collectively, against the disabilities under which they labour. France, and Italy, and Switzerland, and Russia now afford examples of the same thing. How many more women there are who silently cherish similar aspirations, no one can possibly know; but there are abundant tokens how many would cherish them, were they not so strenuously taught to repress them as contrary to the proprieties of their sex. It must be remembered, also, that no enslaved class ever asked for complete liberty at once. When Simon de Montfort called the deputies of the commons to sit for the first time in Parliament, did any of them dream of demanding that an assembly, elected by their constituents, should make and destroy ministries, and dictate to the king in affairs of state? No such thought entered into the imagination of the most ambitious of them. The nobility had already these pretensions; the commons pretended to nothing but to be exempt from arbitrary taxation, and from the gross individual oppression of the king's officers. It is a political law of nature that those who are under any power of ancient origin, never begin by complaining of the power itself, but only of its oppressive exercise. There is never any want of [Pg 26] women who complain of ill usage by their husbands. There would be infinitely more, if complaint were not the greatest of all provocatives to a repetition and increase of the ill usage. It is this which frustrates all attempts to maintain the power but protect the woman against its abuses. In no other case (except that of a child) is the person who has been proved judicially to have suffered an injury, replaced under the physical power of the culprit who inflicted it. Accordingly wives, even in the most extreme and protracted cases of bodily ill usage, hardly ever dare avail themselves of the laws made for their protection: and if, in a moment of irrepressible indignation, or by the interference of neighbours, they are induced to do so, their whole effort afterwards is to disclose as little as they can, and to beg off their tyrant from his merited chastisement.
But, people will argue, the control of men over women is different from all these other forms of control because it’s not enforced by force: it’s accepted willingly; women don’t complain and agree to it. First of all, a significant number of women don’t accept it. Since women have been able to express their thoughts through writing (the only form of public expression society allows them), more and more have voiced protests against their current social situation. Recently, thousands of them, led by the most prominent women recognized in public, have petitioned Parliament for the right to vote. The demand for women to receive the same quality education and knowledge as men is growing stronger and has a promising chance of succeeding; at the same time, the call for their entry into professions previously closed to them is becoming more urgent each year. Although we don’t have periodic conventions and an organized movement for Women’s Rights in this country like they do in the United States, there is a large and active society run by women, focused on the narrower goal of obtaining the right to vote. And it’s not just in our country and America where women are starting to speak out collectively against the limitations they face. France, Italy, Switzerland, and Russia are now examples of the same trend. No one can truly know how many more women quietly hold similar desires, but there are clear signs that many would embrace them if they weren’t so strongly taught to suppress them as inappropriate for their gender. It should also be noted that no oppressed group ever demands complete freedom all at once. When Simon de Montfort first called representatives of the commons to Parliament, did any of them expect to demand that an assembly, elected by their constituents, would create and dissolve ministries, and tell the king what to do in matters of state? Such thoughts never crossed the mind of even the most ambitious among them. The nobility already harbored those ambitions; the commons only aimed to be free from arbitrary taxation and the harsh oppression of the king’s officers. It’s a political law of nature that those who are under some ancient power rarely start by complaining about the power itself but only about its harsh application. There’s no shortage of women who voice complaints about mistreatment by their husbands. There would be many more if speaking out didn’t provoke further mistreatment. This is what undermines all attempts to exercise authority while protecting women from its abuses. In no other situation (except for that of a child) is a person who has been legally proven to have suffered harm placed back under the physical control of the person who caused it. As a result, wives, even in the most severe and prolonged instances of abuse, rarely dare to use the laws meant to protect them; and if, in a moment of overwhelming anger, or through the intervention of neighbors, they are convinced to take action, their main goal afterwards is to reveal as little as possible and to plead for their abuser to escape deserved punishment.
All causes, social and natural, combine to make it unlikely that women should be collectively rebellious to the power of men. They are so far in a position different from all other subject classes, that their masters require something more from them than actual service. Men do not want solely the obedience of women, they want their sentiments. All men, except the most brutish, desire to have, in the woman most nearly connected with them, not a forced slave but a willing one, not a slave merely, but a favourite. [Pg 27] They have therefore put everything in practice to enslave their minds. The masters of all other slaves rely, for maintaining obedience, on fear; either fear of themselves, or religious fears. The masters of women wanted more than simple obedience, and they turned the whole force of education to effect their purpose. All women are brought up from the very earliest years in the belief that their ideal of character is the very opposite to that of men; not self-will, and government by self-control, but submission, and yielding to the control of others. All the moralities tell them that it is the duty of women, and all the current sentimentalities that it is their nature, to live for others; to make complete abnegation of themselves, and to have no life but in their affections. And by their affections are meant the only ones they are allowed to have—those to the men with whom they are connected, or to the children who constitute an additional and indefeasible tie between them and a man. When we put together three things—first, the natural attraction between opposite sexes; secondly, the wife's entire dependence on the husband, every privilege or pleasure she has being either his gift, or depending entirely on his will; and lastly, that the principal object of human pursuit, consideration, and all objects of social ambition, can in general be sought or obtained by her only through [Pg 28] him, it would be a miracle if the object of being attractive to men had not become the polar star of feminine education and formation of character. And, this great means of influence over the minds of women having been acquired, an instinct of selfishness made men avail themselves of it to the utmost as a means of holding women in subjection, by representing to them meekness, submissiveness, and resignation of all individual will into the hands of a man, as an essential part of sexual attractiveness. Can it be doubted that any of the other yokes which mankind have succeeded in breaking, would have subsisted till now if the same means had existed, and had been as sedulously used, to bow down their minds to it? If it had been made the object of the life of every young plebeian to find personal favour in the eyes of some patrician, of every young serf with some seigneur; if domestication with him, and a share of his personal affections, had been held out as the prize which they all should look out for, the most gifted and aspiring being able to reckon on the most desirable prizes; and if, when this prize had been obtained, they had been shut out by a wall of brass from all interests not centering in him, all feelings and desires but those which he shared or inculcated; would not serfs and seigneurs, plebeians and patricians, have been as broadly distinguished at this day as men [Pg 29] and women are? and would not all but a thinker here and there, have believed the distinction to be a fundamental and unalterable fact in human nature?
All social and natural factors come together to make it unlikely that women will collectively rebel against male authority. They are in a situation that’s different from other subordinate groups because their oppressors expect more than just their labor. Men don’t just want women to obey; they want their feelings too. Except for the most brutish, all men want the woman closest to them to be a willing partner, not just a forced servant. They want her to be more than a slave; they want her to be cherished. [Pg 27] To achieve this, they have done everything to control women's minds. The oppressors of other slaves rely on fear—either fear of themselves or fear based on religion. However, men desire more than simple obedience from women, so they directed the entire educational system toward this goal. From an early age, all girls are raised to believe that their ideal character is the opposite of men’s; they learn that submission and yielding to others are more virtuous than self-will and self-control. All moral teachings tell them that women’s duty is to live for others, to completely suppress their own needs, and to find their purpose only in their relationships. This purpose is defined by the men they are connected to or the children that create a permanent bond with a man. When we consider three aspects: first, the natural attraction between the sexes; second, the wife’s total dependence on her husband, where every privilege she enjoys is either his gift or entirely at his discretion; and finally, the fact that the main goals of life and social aspirations can usually be sought only through him, it seems almost miraculous that the desire to be appealing to men hasn’t become the guiding principle of women’s education and character development. With this powerful way to influence women's minds established, men have exploited it to the fullest by portraying meekness, submissiveness, and giving up individual will to a man as essential traits that enhance sexual allure. Can anyone doubt that if similar methods had been used to subdue the minds of other oppressed groups, those groups would not have been able to break free? If every young commoner aspired to earn favor from a noble and every young serf aimed to please a lord; if living alongside him and gaining his affection was presented as the ultimate goal, with the most talented and ambitious expecting the most sought-after rewards; and if, once this goal was achieved, they were completely cut off from any interests not connected to him, would commoners and nobles not be as distinctly separated today as men and women are? And wouldn’t all but a few thinkers have considered this distinction a fundamental and unchangeable aspect of human nature? [Pg 28] [Pg 29]
The preceding considerations are amply sufficient to show that custom, however universal it may be, affords in this case no presumption, and ought not to create any prejudice, in favour of the arrangements which place women in social and political subjection to men. But I may go farther, and maintain that the course of history, and the tendencies of progressive human society, afford not only no presumption in favour of this system of inequality of rights, but a strong one against it; and that, so far as the whole course of human improvement up to this time, the whole stream of modern tendencies, warrants any inference on the subject, it is, that this relic of the past is discordant with the future, and must necessarily disappear.
The previous points clearly show that custom, no matter how widespread, does not support the idea that women should be socially and politically subordinate to men. In fact, I can go further and argue that the course of history and the trends of advancing human society not only do not support this system of unequal rights, but actually strongly argue against it. Considering the entire history of human progress up to now and the overall direction of modern trends, it's clear that this outdated practice is out of sync with the future and will inevitably fade away.
For, what is the peculiar character of the modern world—the difference which chiefly distinguishes modern institutions, modern social ideas, modern life itself, from those of times long past? It is, that human beings are no longer born to their place in life, and chained down by an inexorable bond to the place they are born to, but are free to employ their faculties, and such favourable chances as offer, to achieve the lot which [Pg 30] may appear to them most desirable. Human society of old was constituted on a very different principle. All were born to a fixed social position, and were mostly kept in it by law, or interdicted from any means by which they could emerge from it. As some men are born white and others black, so some were born slaves and others freemen and citizens; some were born patricians, others plebeians; some were born feudal nobles, others commoners and roturiers. A slave or serf could never make himself free, nor, except by the will of his master, become so. In most European countries it was not till towards the close of the middle ages, and as a consequence of the growth of regal power, that commoners could be ennobled. Even among nobles, the eldest son was born the exclusive heir to the paternal possessions, and a long time elapsed before it was fully established that the father could disinherit him. Among the industrious classes, only those who were born members of a guild, or were admitted into it by its members, could lawfully practise their calling within its local limits; and nobody could practise any calling deemed important, in any but the legal manner—by processes authoritatively prescribed. Manufacturers have stood in the pillory for presuming to carry on their business by new and improved methods. In modern Europe, and most in those parts of [Pg 31] it which have participated most largely in all other modern improvements, diametrically opposite doctrines now prevail. Law and government do not undertake to prescribe by whom any social or industrial operation shall or shall not be conducted, or what modes of conducting them shall be lawful. These things are left to the unfettered choice of individuals. Even the laws which required that workmen should serve an apprenticeship, have in this country been repealed: there being ample assurance that in all cases in which an apprenticeship is necessary, its necessity will suffice to enforce it. The old theory was, that the least possible should be left to the choice of the individual agent; that all he had to do should, as far as practicable, be laid down for him by superior wisdom. Left to himself he was sure to go wrong. The modern conviction, the fruit of a thousand years of experience, is, that things in which the individual is the person directly interested, never go right but as they are left to his own discretion; and that any regulation of them by authority, except to protect the rights of others, is sure to be mischievous. This conclusion, slowly arrived at, and not adopted until almost every possible application of the contrary theory had been made with disastrous result, now (in the industrial department) prevails universally in the most advanced [Pg 32] countries, almost universally in all that have pretensions to any sort of advancement. It is not that all processes are supposed to be equally good, or all persons to be equally qualified for everything; but that freedom of individual choice is now known to be the only thing which procures the adoption of the best processes, and throws each operation into the hands of those who are best qualified for it. Nobody thinks it necessary to make a law that only a strong-armed man shall be a blacksmith. Freedom and competition suffice to make blacksmiths strong-armed men, because the weak-armed can earn more by engaging in occupations for which they are more fit. In consonance with this doctrine, it is felt to be an overstepping of the proper bounds of authority to fix beforehand, on some general presumption, that certain persons are not fit to do certain things. It is now thoroughly known and admitted that if some such presumptions exist, no such presumption is infallible. Even if it be well grounded in a majority of cases, which it is very likely not to be, there will be a minority of exceptional cases in which it does not hold: and in those it is both an injustice to the individuals, and a detriment to society, to place barriers in the way of their using their faculties for their own benefit and for that of others. In the cases, [Pg 33] on the other hand, in which the unfitness is real, the ordinary motives of human conduct will on the whole suffice to prevent the incompetent person from making, or from persisting in, the attempt.
What is the unique characteristic of the modern world—the main difference that sets modern institutions, social ideas, and life itself apart from those of the past? It’s that people are no longer born into a fixed social status, tied down by a unyielding bond to where they were born, but are free to use their abilities and take advantage of favorable opportunities to achieve the life that seems most desirable to them. The society of old was based on a very different principle. Everyone was born into a specific social class and was mostly kept in it by law, restricted from any ways to escape it. Just as some people are born white and others black, some were born as slaves while others were free citizens; some were born aristocrats, others commoners; some were feudal lords, while others were simply common folk. A slave or serf could never make themselves free, nor could they become free without their master’s consent. In most European countries, it wasn’t until the end of the Middle Ages, as royal power grew, that commoners could be granted nobility. Even among the nobility, the eldest son was typically the sole heir to the family estate, and it took a long time before it was fully accepted that the father could disinherit him. Among the working classes, only those born into a guild or admitted by its members could legally practice their trades within that guild’s territory; and no one could engage in any profession considered important except in legally prescribed ways. Manufacturers were punished for attempting to operate their businesses using new and improved methods. In modern Europe, especially in the areas that have embraced various modern advancements, completely opposite beliefs now prevail. Laws and governments don’t dictate who can or cannot carry out any social or industrial task or what methods should be deemed acceptable. These decisions are left to individuals’ unrestricted choices. Even laws requiring apprenticeships for workers have been repealed in this country, with the assurance that when apprenticeship is necessary, the necessity will drive its enforcement. The former belief was that individuals should have as little choice as possible; that everything they needed to do should, as much as possible, be prescribed by those with more wisdom. Left to their own devices, they were expected to fail. The modern belief, borne from a thousand years of experience, holds that areas where the individual is directly interested only go well when they are left to their discretion; and that any regulation imposed by authority, other than to protect others' rights, is bound to be harmful. This understanding, reached slowly and not embraced until nearly every potential application of the opposite argument had led to disastrous outcomes, is now widely accepted in the most advanced countries, and almost universally in any nation aiming for some form of progress. It’s not that every method is believed to be equally effective or that everyone is seen as equally capable; rather, the freedom of individual choice is now recognized as the only way to ensure the adoption of the best methods, placing each task in the hands of those most suited for it. No one thinks it necessary to legislate that only physically strong individuals can be blacksmiths. Freedom and competition ensure that blacksmiths are strong because those less strong can choose other jobs that match their skills better. Aligned with this belief, it’s considered overstepping authority to broadly assume that certain people are unfit for specific tasks. It is now widely accepted and acknowledged that if such assumptions exist, no assumption is infallible. Even if a majority of cases support an assumption, which is often unlikely, there will always be exceptions where it doesn’t apply; and in those cases, placing obstacles in their way of using their abilities for their own benefit and that of others is both unjust to the individuals and detrimental to society. In situations where real unfitness exists, typical human motivations will generally be enough to prevent the unqualified person from starting or continuing their efforts.
If this general principle of social and economical science is not true; if individuals, with such help as they can derive from the opinion of those who know them, are not better judges than the law and the government, of their own capacities and vocation; the world cannot too soon abandon this principle, and return to the old system of regulations and disabilities. But if the principle is true, we ought to act as if we believed it, and not to ordain that to be born a girl instead of a boy, any more than to be born black instead of white, or a commoner instead of a nobleman, shall decide the person's position through all life—shall interdict people from all the more elevated social positions, and from all, except a few, respectable occupations. Even were we to admit the utmost that is ever pretended as to the superior fitness of men for all the functions now reserved to them, the same argument applies which forbids a legal qualification for members of Parliament. If only once in a dozen years the conditions of eligibility exclude a fit person, there is a real loss, while the exclusion of thousands [Pg 34] of unfit persons is no gain; for if the constitution of the electoral body disposes them to choose unfit persons, there are always plenty of such persons to choose from. In all things of any difficulty and importance, those who can do them well are fewer than the need, even with the most unrestricted latitude of choice: and any limitation of the field of selection deprives society of some chances of being served by the competent, without ever saving it from the incompetent.
If this general principle of social and economic science isn’t true; if individuals, with whatever support they can get from the opinions of people who know them, are not better judges of their own abilities and careers than the law and the government, then the world should quickly abandon this principle and go back to the old system of rules and restrictions. But if the principle is true, we should act as if we believe it, and not decide that being born a girl instead of a boy, or being born black instead of white, or being a commoner instead of a nobleman, should determine a person's position for life—should block people from all the higher social roles, and from all but a few, respectable jobs. Even if we accept the argument that men are inherently better suited for all the roles currently reserved for them, the same reasoning applies that prevents a legal requirement for members of Parliament. If just once every twelve years the eligibility criteria exclude a qualified person, there’s a real loss, while removing thousands of unqualified people is no benefit; because if the way the electoral body is structured leads them to choose unqualified individuals, there will always be plenty of those people to choose from. In all challenging and important tasks, those who can perform them well are fewer than what’s needed, even with the broadest range of choices: and any limitation on the selection pool takes away opportunities for society to benefit from the skilled, without ever protecting it from the unskilled.
At present, in the more improved countries, the disabilities of women are the only case, save one, in which laws and institutions take persons at their birth, and ordain that they shall never in all their lives be allowed to compete for certain things. The one exception is that of royalty. Persons still are born to the throne; no one, not of the reigning family, can ever occupy it, and no one even of that family can, by any means but the course of hereditary succession, attain it. All other dignities and social advantages are open to the whole male sex: many indeed are only attainable by wealth, but wealth may be striven for by any one, and is actually obtained by many men of the very humblest origin. The difficulties, to the majority, are indeed insuperable without the aid of fortunate accidents; but no male human being is under any legal ban: neither law nor opinion superadd artificial obstacles to [Pg 35] the natural ones. Royalty, as I have said, is excepted: but in this case every one feels it to be an exception—an anomaly in the modern world, in marked opposition to its customs and principles, and to be justified only by extraordinary special expediencies, which, though individuals and nations differ in estimating their weight, unquestionably do in fact exist. But in this exceptional case, in which a high social function is, for important reasons, bestowed on birth instead of being put up to competition, all free nations contrive to adhere in substance to the principle from which they nominally derogate; for they circumscribe this high function by conditions avowedly intended to prevent the person to whom it ostensibly belongs from really performing it; while the person by whom it is performed, the responsible minister, does obtain the post by a competition from which no full-grown citizen of the male sex is legally excluded. The disabilities, therefore, to which women are subject from the mere fact of their birth, are the solitary examples of the kind in modern legislation. In no instance except this, which comprehends half the human race, are the higher social functions closed against any one by a fatality of birth which no exertions, and no change of circumstances, can overcome; for even religious disabilities (besides that in England and in Europe they [Pg 36] have practically almost ceased to exist) do not close any career to the disqualified person in case of conversion.
Right now, in the more developed countries, the disadvantages faced by women are the only case, except for one, where laws and institutions determine someone's fate from birth and dictate that they will never be allowed to compete for certain opportunities in their lives. The one exception is royalty. People are still born into the royal family; no one outside of that family can ever take the throne, and even those within the family can only attain it through hereditary succession. All other honors and social advantages are accessible to all men: many can only be achieved through wealth, but anyone can strive for wealth, and it is actually obtained by many men from very humble backgrounds. The challenges may seem insurmountable for the majority without a stroke of luck, but no man faces any legal barriers; neither law nor public opinion imposes artificial obstacles on top of the natural ones. As I mentioned, royalty is an exception: however, everyone recognizes it as an anomaly in the modern world, contrasting sharply with its customs and principles, justified only by extraordinary special circumstances, which, although individuals and nations may disagree on their significance, certainly do exist. In this exceptional case, where a significant social role is, for crucial reasons, assigned based on birth rather than open to competition, all free nations manage to stick to the underlying principle they claim to deviate from; they restrict this prominent role with conditions that are explicitly designed to prevent the person it supposedly belongs to from truly fulfilling it, while the individual who performs this role, the responsible minister, achieves their position through competition that excludes no qualified man. Therefore, the disadvantages faced by women simply due to their birth are the only examples of this kind in modern law. Besides this situation, which affects half the human population, higher social roles are not restricted for anyone by an inescapable fate of birth that no effort or change in circumstances can overcome; even religious restrictions (aside from those in England and Europe, where they have mostly ceased to exist) do not prevent the disqualified person from pursuing any career if they convert.
The social subordination of women thus stands out an isolated fact in modern social institutions; a solitary breach of what has become their fundamental law; a single relic of an old world of thought and practice exploded in everything else, but retained in the one thing of most universal interest; as if a gigantic dolmen, or a vast temple of Jupiter Olympius, occupied the site of St. Paul's and received daily worship, while the surrounding Christian churches were only resorted to on fasts and festivals. This entire discrepancy between one social fact and all those which accompany it, and the radical opposition between its nature and the progressive movement which is the boast of the modern world, and which has successively swept away everything else of an analogous character, surely affords, to a conscientious observer of human tendencies, serious matter for reflection. It raises a primâ facie presumption on the unfavourable side, far outweighing any which custom and usage could in such circumstances create on the favourable; and should at least suffice to make this, like the choice between republicanism and royalty, a balanced question.
The social subordination of women stands out as an isolated fact in modern social institutions; a clear violation of what has become their fundamental principle; a single remnant of an outdated world of thought and practice that has been dismantled everywhere else but remains in the one area of most universal concern; as if a massive dolmen, or a grand temple of Jupiter Olympius, occupied the site of St. Paul's and was worshipped daily, while the surrounding Christian churches were only used during fasts and festivals. This entire discrepancy between one social fact and all those that accompany it, along with the fundamental opposition between its nature and the progressive movement that is the pride of the modern world—one that has successively eliminated everything else of a similar nature—surely provides, to a thoughtful observer of human trends, serious food for thought. It raises an initial presumption against it, far outweighing any that custom and usage could create in its favor; and it should at least make this, like the choice between republicanism and monarchy, a subject worthy of careful consideration.
The least that can be demanded is, that the [Pg 37] question should not be considered as prejudged by existing fact and existing opinion, but open to discussion on its merits, as a question of justice and expediency: the decision on this, as on any of the other social arrangements of mankind, depending on what an enlightened estimate of tendencies and consequences may show to be most advantageous to humanity in general, without distinction of sex. And the discussion must be a real discussion, descending to foundations, and not resting satisfied with vague and general assertions. It will not do, for instance, to assert in general terms, that the experience of mankind has pronounced in favour of the existing system. Experience cannot possibly have decided between two courses, so long as there has only been experience of one. If it be said that the doctrine of the equality of the sexes rests only on theory, it must be remembered that the contrary doctrine also has only theory to rest upon. All that is proved in its favour by direct experience, is that mankind have been able to exist under it, and to attain the degree of improvement and prosperity which we now see; but whether that prosperity has been attained sooner, or is now greater, than it would have been under the other system, experience does not say. On the other hand, experience does say, that every step in improvement has been so invariably accompanied by a step [Pg 38] made in raising the social position of women, that historians and philosophers have been led to adopt their elevation or debasement as on the whole the surest test and most correct measure of the civilization of a people or an age. Through all the progressive period of human history, the condition of women has been approaching nearer to equality with men. This does not of itself prove that the assimilation must go on to complete equality; but it assuredly affords some presumption that such is the case.
The minimum that can be asked for is that the [Pg 37] issue should not be seen as already decided by current facts and opinions but should be open to discussion based on its merits, as a matter of justice and practicality. The decision on this, like any other social arrangements, depends on what a thoughtful assessment of trends and outcomes suggests is best for humanity as a whole, regardless of gender. Moreover, the dialogue must be genuine, diving into the fundamentals, and not just settling for vague and general claims. For example, it's not enough to broadly say that human experience supports the current system. Experience cannot clearly favor one approach when there has only been experience of one. If it’s claimed that the idea of gender equality is only theoretical, we must remember that the opposing view is also based on theory. What direct experience has shown is that people have been able to live under the current system and have achieved the level of progress and prosperity we see today; however, it doesn’t indicate whether that progress was reached faster or is greater than it would have been under another system. Conversely, experience does show that every advancement has consistently coincided with improvements in the social status of women, which has led historians and philosophers to consider the status of women as a reliable indicator and measure of a society's or era's civilization. Throughout the progressive timeline of human history, the status of women has been moving closer to equality with men. While this alone doesn’t guarantee that the trend will continue to full equality, it does suggest that it’s a reasonable possibility.
Neither does it avail anything to say that the nature of the two sexes adapts them to their present functions and position, and renders these appropriate to them. Standing on the ground of common sense and the constitution of the human mind, I deny that any one knows, or can know, the nature of the two sexes, as long as they have only been seen in their present relation to one another. If men had ever been found in society without women, or women without men, or if there had been a society of men and women in which the women were not under the control of the men, something might have been positively known about the mental and moral differences which may be inherent in the nature of each. What is now called the nature of women is an eminently artificial thing—the result of forced repression in some directions, unnatural stimulation [Pg 39] in others. It may be asserted without scruple, that no other class of dependents have had their character so entirely distorted from its natural proportions by their relation with their masters; for, if conquered and slave races have been, in some respects, more forcibly repressed, whatever in them has not been crushed down by an iron heel has generally been let alone, and if left with any liberty of development, it has developed itself according to its own laws; but in the case of women, a hot-house and stove cultivation has always been carried on of some of the capabilities of their nature, for the benefit and pleasure of their masters. Then, because certain products of the general vital force sprout luxuriantly and reach a great development in this heated atmosphere and under this active nurture and watering, while other shoots from the same root, which are left outside in the wintry air, with ice purposely heaped all round them, have a stunted growth, and some are burnt off with fire and disappear; men, with that inability to recognise their own work which distinguishes the unanalytic mind, indolently believe that the tree grows of itself in the way they have made it grow, and that it would die if one half of it were not kept in a vapour bath and the other half in the snow.
It doesn't help to say that the nature of the two sexes suits them for their current roles and makes them appropriate. Based on common sense and how the human mind works, I argue that no one really knows, or can know, the nature of the two sexes, as long as they’ve only been seen in their current relationship with one another. If men had ever existed in society without women, or women without men, or if there had been a society of men and women where women weren’t controlled by men, we might have learned something concrete about any mental and moral differences inherent in each. What is currently called the nature of women is largely an artificial construct—the result of forced suppression in some areas and unnatural stimulation in others. It's safe to say that no other group of dependents has had their character so completely distorted from its natural state by their relationship with their superiors; for while conquered and enslaved races may have faced harsher suppression in some ways, whatever hasn’t been crushed by an iron fist has generally been left alone, and if given any freedom to develop, it has grown according to its own rules. However, in the case of women, there’s always been an overbearing and artificial cultivation of some aspects of their nature for the benefit and enjoyment of their masters. Then, because certain traits thrive and develop impressively in this heated environment and under this active care and watering, while other traits from the same root, left outside in the cold with ice heaped around them, stunted in growth, and some are scorched away and vanish; men, who often fail to see the effects of their own actions, lazily believe that the tree grows on its own in the way they’ve forced it to, and that it would wither if one half of it weren’t kept in a steam bath and the other half in the snow. [Pg 39]
Of all difficulties which impede the progress [Pg 40] of thought, and the formation of well-grounded opinions on life and social arrangements, the greatest is now the unspeakable ignorance and inattention of mankind in respect to the influences which form human character. Whatever any portion of the human species now are, or seem to be, such, it is supposed, they have a natural tendency to be: even when the most elementary knowledge of the circumstances in which they have been placed, clearly points out the causes that made them what they are. Because a cottier deeply in arrears to his landlord is not industrious, there are people who think that the Irish are naturally idle. Because constitutions can be overthrown when the authorities appointed to execute them turn their arms against them, there are people who think the French incapable of free government. Because the Greeks cheated the Turks, and the Turks only plundered the Greeks, there are persons who think that the Turks are naturally more sincere: and because women, as is often said, care nothing about politics except their personalities, it is supposed that the general good is naturally less interesting to women than to men. History, which is now so much better understood than formerly, teaches another lesson: if only by showing the extraordinary susceptibility of human nature to external influences, and the extreme [Pg 41] variableness of those of its manifestations which are supposed to be most universal and uniform. But in history, as in travelling, men usually see only what they already had in their own minds; and few learn much from history, who do not bring much with them to its study.
Of all the challenges that hinder the progress of thought and the development of well-founded opinions on life and social structures, the biggest one is the deep ignorance and neglect of people regarding the influences that shape human character. Whatever people of any group currently are, or seem to be, it's assumed that they have a natural inclination to be that way—even when basic understanding of their circumstances clearly reveals the causes that made them who they are. Just because a tenant is behind on rent doesn’t mean they are lazy; yet some think the Irish are inherently idle. Because constitutions can be dismantled when the authorities turn against them, some believe the French are incapable of self-governance. Because the Greeks deceived the Turks, and the Turks only robbed the Greeks, some think the Turks are naturally more honest. And because women often seem less interested in politics beyond personal matters, it’s assumed that the overall good matters less to women than to men. History, which we now understand much better than before, teaches us another lesson: it illustrates how incredibly responsive human nature is to outside influences and how highly variable even the most common behaviors are thought to be. But in history, as in traveling, people typically only see what they already have in their minds; and few truly learn from history without bringing a lot of their own understanding to the table.
Hence, in regard to that most difficult question, what are the natural differences between the two sexes—a subject on which it is impossible in the present state of society to obtain complete and correct knowledge—while almost everybody dogmatizes upon it, almost all neglect and make light of the only means by which any partial insight can be obtained into it. This is, an analytic study of the most important department of psychology, the laws of the influence of circumstances on character. For, however great and apparently ineradicable the moral and intellectual differences between men and women might be, the evidence of their being natural differences could only be negative. Those only could be inferred to be natural which could not possibly be artificial—the residuum, after deducting every characteristic of either sex which can admit of being explained from education or external circumstances. The profoundest knowledge of the laws of the formation of character is indispensable to entitle any one to affirm even that there is any difference, much more what [Pg 42] the difference is, between the two sexes considered as moral and rational beings; and since no one, as yet, has that knowledge, (for there is hardly any subject which, in proportion to its importance, has been so little studied), no one is thus far entitled to any positive opinion on the subject. Conjectures are all that can at present be made; conjectures more or less probable, according as more or less authorized by such knowledge as we yet have of the laws of psychology, as applied to the formation of character.
So, regarding that really tough question about the natural differences between the two sexes—a topic that’s nearly impossible to fully and accurately understand in today's society—while almost everyone has strong opinions about it, most people overlook the one method that could give us even a partial insight. This method is an analytical study of a major part of psychology: the laws governing how circumstances affect character. No matter how significant and seemingly unchangeable the moral and intellectual differences between men and women may seem, the evidence that these are natural differences can only be negative. The only traits that could be considered natural are those that can’t possibly be artificial—the leftover characteristics once we account for everything that can be explained by education or external factors. To claim that there is even a difference, let alone what that difference is, between the two sexes as moral and rational beings, requires a deep understanding of how character is formed; and since no one has that knowledge yet (there’s hardly any topic that’s been so little studied given its significance), no one is currently justified in holding a definitive opinion on this matter. All we can offer are conjectures, some more likely than others, based on our limited understanding of psychological laws in relation to character formation. [Pg 42]
Even the preliminary knowledge, what the differences between the sexes now are, apart from all question as to how they are made what they are, is still in the crudest and most incomplete state. Medical practitioners and physiologists have ascertained, to some extent, the differences in bodily constitution; and this is an important element to the psychologist: but hardly any medical practitioner is a psychologist. Respecting the mental characteristics of women; their observations are of no more worth than those of common men. It is a subject on which nothing final can be known, so long as those who alone can really know it, women themselves, have given but little testimony, and that little, mostly suborned. It is easy to know stupid women. Stupidity is much the same all the world over. A stupid person's notions and feelings [Pg 43] may confidently be inferred from those which prevail in the circle by which the person is surrounded. Not so with those whose opinions and feelings are an emanation from their own nature and faculties. It is only a man here and there who has any tolerable knowledge of the character even of the women of his own family. I do not mean, of their capabilities; these nobody knows, not even themselves, because most of them have never been called out. I mean their actually existing thoughts and feelings. Many a man thinks he perfectly understands women, because he has had amatory relations with several, perhaps with many of them. If he is a good observer, and his experience extends to quality as well as quantity, he may have learnt something of one narrow department of their nature—an important department, no doubt. But of all the rest of it, few persons are generally more ignorant, because there are few from whom it is so carefully hidden. The most favourable case which a man can generally have for studying the character of a woman, is that of his own wife: for the opportunities are greater, and the cases of complete sympathy not so unspeakably rare. And in fact, this is the source from which any knowledge worth having on the subject has, I believe, generally come. But most men have not had the opportunity of studying in [Pg 44] this way more than a single case: accordingly one can, to an almost laughable degree, infer what a man's wife is like, from his opinions about women in general. To make even this one case yield any result, the woman must be worth knowing, and the man not only a competent judge, but of a character so sympathetic in itself, and so well adapted to hers, that he can either read her mind by sympathetic intuition, or has nothing in himself which makes her shy of disclosing it. Hardly anything, I believe, can be more rare than this conjunction. It often happens that there is the most complete unity of feeling and community of interests as to all external things, yet the one has as little admission into the internal life of the other as if they were common acquaintance. Even with true affection, authority on the one side and subordination on the other prevent perfect confidence. Though nothing may be intentionally withheld, much is not shown. In the analogous relation of parent and child, the corresponding phenomenon must have been in the observation of every one. As between father and son, how many are the cases in which the father, in spite of real affection on both sides, obviously to all the world does not know, nor suspect, parts of the son's character familiar to his companions and equals. The truth is, that the position of [Pg 45] looking up to another is extremely unpropitious to complete sincerity and openness with him. The fear of losing ground in his opinion or in his feelings is so strong, that even in an upright character, there is an unconscious tendency to show only the best side, or the side which, though not the best, is that which he most likes to see: and it may be confidently said that thorough knowledge of one another hardly ever exists, but between persons who, besides being intimates, are equals. How much more true, then, must all this be, when the one is not only under the authority of the other, but has it inculcated on her as a duty to reckon everything else subordinate to his comfort and pleasure, and to let him neither see nor feel anything coming from her, except what is agreeable to him. All these difficulties stand in the way of a man's obtaining any thorough knowledge even of the one woman whom alone, in general, he has sufficient opportunity of studying. When we further consider that to understand one woman is not necessarily to understand any other woman; that even if he could study many women of one rank, or of one country, he would not thereby understand women of other ranks or countries; and even if he did, they are still only the women of a single period of history; we may safely assert that the knowledge which men can acquire of women, even as they have [Pg 46] been and are, without reference to what they might be, is wretchedly imperfect and superficial, and always will be so, until women themselves have told all that they have to tell.
Even the basic understanding of the differences between the sexes, regardless of how they came to be, is still very crude and incomplete. Medical professionals and physiologists have identified some differences in physical makeup, which is important for psychologists; however, very few medical practitioners are psychologists. When it comes to the mental traits of women, their observations hold no more value than those of average men. It's a topic on which nothing definitive can be known as long as the ones who truly understand it—women themselves—have provided little input, and most of that is coerced. Stupid women are easy to recognize. Stupidity is pretty uniform everywhere. You can confidently speculate about a foolish person's thoughts and feelings based on those common in their social circle. But it's different for those whose opinions and feelings stem from their own nature and abilities. Only a few men really understand the character of the women in their own families. I'm not referring to their potential because nobody really knows that, not even the women themselves, since most of them have never had the chance to explore it. I'm talking about their actual thoughts and feelings. Many men believe they understand women perfectly because they've had romantic relationships with several, perhaps even many. If he's a good observer and his experience encompasses both quality and quantity, he might have grasped something about a specific aspect of their nature—an important one, no doubt. Yet regarding everything else, most are woefully ignorant, as so much is carefully hidden from them. The best case a man generally has for studying a woman's character is his own wife: he has more opportunities, and true empathy isn’t so rare between them. In fact, I believe this is where any valuable knowledge on the subject typically comes from. But most men have only had the chance to study one case this way, so it can be ironically easy to infer what a man’s wife is like based on his general opinions about women. To make even this one case informative, the woman must be worth knowing, and the man needs to be not just a competent judge, but also someone whose character is so sympathetic and compatible that he can either intuit her thoughts or has nothing in him that makes her hesitant to share. I believe such a combination is extremely rare. Often, there can be complete alignment of feelings and shared interests in external matters, yet one person has as little insight into the other’s inner life as if they were mere acquaintances. Even with genuine affection, a power imbalance can prevent complete trust. While nothing may be intentionally hidden, a lot remains unexpressed. This phenomenon is something anyone can observe in the parent-child relationship. For instance, between a father and son, how many times does the father, despite mutual affection, not know or suspect aspects of the son's character that his friends and peers are familiar with? The truth is that being in a subordinate position is not conducive to total honesty and openness. The fear of losing favor in another’s eyes or feelings is so strong that even in well-meaning individuals, there’s a subconscious tendency to present only their best side, or at least the side the other likes to see. It’s safe to say that genuine knowledge of one another rarely exists except among people who are both close and equal. How much truer is this when one person is not only under the other’s authority but has also been taught to prioritize the other’s comfort and happiness above all else, only revealing what he finds agreeable? All these hurdles prevent a man from gaining deep knowledge of even the one woman he usually has enough chance to study. Additionally, to understand one woman doesn't mean understanding any other; even if he could learn about many women from one social class or country, that wouldn’t help him understand women from different backgrounds, and even if he did, they would still be women from just one specific historical period. Therefore, we can confidently state that the knowledge men can acquire about women, even as they are and have been, without considering what they could be, is terribly imperfect and superficial, and will remain so until women share everything they have to say.
And this time has not come; nor will it come otherwise than gradually. It is but of yesterday that women have either been qualified by literary accomplishments, or permitted by society, to tell anything to the general public. As yet very few of them dare tell anything, which men, on whom their literary success depends, are unwilling to hear. Let us remember in what manner, up to a very recent time, the expression, even by a male author, of uncustomary opinions, or what are deemed eccentric feelings, usually was, and in some degree still is, received; and we may form some faint conception under what impediments a woman, who is brought up to think custom and opinion her sovereign rule, attempts to express in books anything drawn from the depths of her own nature. The greatest woman who has left writings behind her sufficient to give her an eminent rank in the literature of her country, thought it necessary to prefix as a motto to her boldest work, “Un homme peut braver l'opinion; une femme doit s'y soumettre.”[1] The greater part of what women write about women is mere sycophancy to men. In the case of unmarried [Pg 47] women, much of it seems only intended to increase their chance of a husband. Many, both married and unmarried, overstep the mark, and inculcate a servility beyond what is desired or relished by any man, except the very vulgarest. But this is not so often the case as, even at a quite late period, it still was. Literary women are becoming more freespoken, and more willing to express their real sentiments. Unfortunately, in this country especially, they are themselves such artificial products, that their sentiments are compounded of a small element of individual observation and consciousness, and a very large one of acquired associations. This will be less and less the case, but it will remain true to a great extent, as long as social institutions do not admit the same free development of originality in women which is possible to men. When that time comes, and not before, we shall see, and not merely hear, as much as it is necessary to know of the nature of women, and the adaptation of other things to it.
And that time hasn't come yet, nor will it come all at once. Just recently, women have either been allowed to express themselves publicly because of their literary skills or granted permission by society to share their thoughts with the general public. Very few of them are willing to speak up in ways that men, who largely determine their literary success, don't want to hear. It's important to remember how, until very recently, even male authors faced backlash for sharing unconventional opinions or what might be considered eccentric feelings; in some ways, this still happens. This gives a glimpse into the obstacles a woman faces when raised to believe that custom and opinion are her rulers, as she tries to write about anything deeply personal. The greatest woman who has left behind enough writings to earn a prominent place in her country's literature felt it necessary to start her boldest work with the motto, “A man can defy opinion; a woman must submit to it.”[1] Much of what women write about themselves tends to be flattering to men. For single women, it often seems like they're just trying to improve their chances of finding a husband. Many, both married and unmarried, go too far, promoting a submissiveness that most men don't desire or appreciate, except for the very lowest types. However, this is not as common as it was, even not too long ago. Literary women are becoming more outspoken and more willing to share their genuine feelings. Unfortunately, especially in this country, they are often such artificial products that their feelings are made up of a small amount of personal observation and awareness, and a much larger amount of learned associations. This will become less true over time, but it will remain largely the case as long as social institutions don't allow for the same free development of originality in women that is available to men. When that time comes, and not before, we will see—not just hear—everything we need to know about the nature of women and how everything else relates to it.
I have dwelt so much on the difficulties which at present obstruct any real knowledge by men of the true nature of women, because in this as in so many other things “opinio copiæ inter maximas causas inopiæ est;” and there is little chance of reasonable thinking on the matter, while people flatter themselves that they perfectly [Pg 48] understand a subject of which most men know absolutely nothing, and of which it is at present impossible that any man, or all men taken together, should have knowledge which can qualify them to lay down the law to women as to what is, or is not, their vocation. Happily, no such knowledge is necessary for any practical purpose connected with the position of women in relation to society and life. For, according to all the principles involved in modern society, the question rests with women themselves—to be decided by their own experience, and by the use of their own faculties. There are no means of finding what either one person or many can do, but by trying—and no means by which any one else can discover for them what it is for their happiness to do or leave undone.
I've spent a lot of time discussing the challenges that currently prevent a real understanding of women’s true nature, because, just like in many other areas, “the abundance of opinion is one of the greatest obstacles to understanding.” There’s little chance for rational thinking on this issue while people indulge in the belief that they completely understand a topic about which most men know absolutely nothing. Right now, it’s impossible for any man, or even all men combined, to possess the knowledge that would allow them to dictate to women what their vocation is or isn’t. Fortunately, such knowledge isn’t needed for any practical matters regarding women’s roles in society and life. According to the principles of modern society, the question is up to women themselves to decide based on their own experiences and the use of their own abilities. There’s no way to find out what one person or many can do except through trying— and no way for anyone else to determine what will bring them happiness, whether it’s something they should do or avoid.
One thing we may be certain of—that what is contrary to women's nature to do, they never will be made to do by simply giving their nature free play. The anxiety of mankind to interfere in behalf of nature, for fear lest nature should not succeed in effecting its purpose, is an altogether unnecessary solicitude. What women by nature cannot do, it is quite superfluous to forbid them from doing. What they can do, but not so well as the men who are their competitors, competition suffices to exclude them from; since nobody asks for protective duties and bounties [Pg 49] in favour of women; it is only asked that the present bounties and protective duties in favour of men should be recalled. If women have a greater natural inclination for some things than for others, there is no need of laws or social inculcation to make the majority of them do the former in preference to the latter. Whatever women's services are most wanted for, the free play of competition will hold out the strongest inducements to them to undertake. And, as the words imply, they are most wanted for the things for which they are most fit; by the apportionment of which to them, the collective faculties of the two sexes can be applied on the whole with the greatest sum of valuable result.
One thing we can be sure of is that women will never be made to do what goes against their nature just by letting them act freely. The worry people have about interfering for the sake of nature, fearing that it won't achieve its purpose, is completely unnecessary. There’s no need to prohibit women from doing what they naturally cannot do. As for what they can do but don’t excel at compared to their male counterparts, the competition is enough to keep them out of those spaces, since no one is asking for special privileges or support for women; rather, people just want the current support and privileges for men to be removed. If women naturally prefer certain activities over others, there’s no need for laws or social pressure to make most of them choose the former over the latter. Women will naturally gravitate towards the tasks where their skills are most in demand, driven by the incentives that competition provides. And as the words suggest, they are most needed for the tasks they are best suited for; properly assigning those tasks to them allows both sexes to contribute together effectively for the greatest overall benefit. [Pg 49]
The general opinion of men is supposed to be, that the natural vocation of a woman is that of a wife and mother. I say, is supposed to be, because, judging from acts—from the whole of the present constitution of society—one might infer that their opinion was the direct contrary. They might be supposed to think that the alleged natural vocation of women was of all things the most repugnant to their nature; insomuch that if they are free to do anything else—if any other means of living, or occupation of their time and faculties, is open, which has any chance of appearing desirable to them—there [Pg 50] will not be enough of them who will be willing to accept the condition said to be natural to them. If this is the real opinion of men in general, it would be well that it should be spoken out. I should like to hear somebody openly enunciating the doctrine (it is already implied in much that is written on the subject)—“It is necessary to society that women should marry and produce children. They will not do so unless they are compelled. Therefore it is necessary to compel them.” The merits of the case would then be clearly defined. It would be exactly that of the slaveholders of South Carolina and Louisiana. “It is necessary that cotton and sugar should be grown. White men cannot produce them. Negroes will not, for any wages which we choose to give. Ergo they must be compelled.” An illustration still closer to the point is that of impressment. Sailors must absolutely be had to defend the country. It often happens that they will not voluntarily enlist. Therefore there must be the power of forcing them. How often has this logic been used! and, but for one flaw in it, without doubt it would have been successful up to this day. But it is open to the retort—First pay the sailors the honest value of their labour. When you have made it as well worth their while to serve you, as to work for [Pg 51] other employers, you will have no more difficulty than others have in obtaining their services. To this there is no logical answer except “I will not:” and as people are now not only ashamed, but are not desirous, to rob the labourer of his hire, impressment is no longer advocated. Those who attempt to force women into marriage by closing all other doors against them, lay themselves open to a similar retort. If they mean what they say, their opinion must evidently be, that men do not render the married condition so desirable to women, as to induce them to accept it for its own recommendations. It is not a sign of one's thinking the boon one offers very attractive, when one allows only Hobson's choice, “that or none.” And here, I believe, is the clue to the feelings of those men, who have a real antipathy to the equal freedom of women. I believe they are afraid, not lest women should be unwilling to marry, for I do not think that any one in reality has that apprehension; but lest they should insist that marriage should be on equal conditions; lest all women of spirit and capacity should prefer doing almost anything else, not in their own eyes degrading, rather than marry, when marrying is giving themselves a master, and a master too of all their earthly possessions. And truly, if this consequence were necessarily incident to [Pg 52] marriage, I think that the apprehension would be very well founded. I agree in thinking it probable that few women, capable of anything else, would, unless under an irresistible entrainement, rendering them for the time insensible to anything but itself, choose such a lot, when any other means were open to them of filling a conventionally honourable place in life: and if men are determined that the law of marriage shall be a law of despotism, they are quite right, in point of mere policy, in leaving to women only Hobson's choice. But, in that case, all that has been done in the modern world to relax the chain on the minds of women, has been a mistake. They never should have been allowed to receive a literary education. Women who read, much more women who write, are, in the existing constitution of things, a contradiction and a disturbing element: and it was wrong to bring women up with any acquirements but those of an odalisque, or of a domestic servant.
The general belief about men is that a woman's natural role is to be a wife and mother. I say "is supposed to be," because judging by their actions and the current structure of society, one might think their opinion is the complete opposite. It seems they believe that the so-called natural role of women is the most undesirable thing for them; so much so that if women are free to do anything else—if any other way of living or occupation that they find appealing is available—there won't be many who would choose the condition that is supposed to be natural for them. If this is truly the opinion of men in general, it would be better if they stated it openly. I would like to hear someone openly declare the idea (which is already suggested in much of the writing on this topic)—“It's necessary for society that women marry and have children. They won't do it unless forced. So, we need to compel them.” The merits of the matter would then be clearly outlined. It would be just like the situation with slaveholders in South Carolina and Louisiana. “It’s essential that cotton and sugar are grown. White men can’t do it. Black people won’t, for any wages we decide to pay. Therefore, they must be forced.” An even closer example is impressment. We absolutely need sailors to defend the country. It often happens that they won’t voluntarily enlist. Therefore, there must be the power to force them. How often has this logic been used! And, but for one flaw in it, it surely would have succeeded until now. But the rebuttal is clear—First, pay the sailors a fair wage for their labor. Once you make it worth their while to serve you, as much as it is to work for other employers, you won’t have more trouble than others do in getting their services. The only logical counter to this is “I won’t”: and since people now not only feel ashamed but also don’t want to cheat workers of their wages, impressment is no longer supported. Those who try to force women into marriage by shutting all other options against them are open to a similar rebuttal. If they truly mean what they say, their opinion must clearly be that men do not make marriage so appealing to women that they would willingly accept it for its own sake. It’s not a sign of thinking the offer is very attractive when only Hobson's choice is offered, “that or nothing.” Here, I believe, is the root of the feelings of those men who strongly oppose equal freedom for women. I think they are afraid, not that women would be unwilling to marry—because I don’t think anyone genuinely fears that—but that women will demand marriage on equal terms; that women of strong character and capability will prefer to do almost anything else, which they don’t see as degrading, rather than marry, when marriage means giving themselves a master, and a master over all their possessions. And truly, if this were an inevitable result of marriage, I think their fears would be well-founded. I agree that it’s likely few women, capable of something else, would choose such a fate unless they were under an overpowering influence that made them temporarily oblivious to all else, when any other option was available to them for achieving a socially acceptable place in life: and if men are determined that the law of marriage shall be a law of tyranny, they are quite right, from a purely strategic viewpoint, in offering women only Hobson's choice. But, in that case, everything that has been done in the modern world to loosen the restrictions on women’s minds has been a mistake. They should never have been allowed to receive a formal education. Women who read, especially those who write, are, in the current circumstances, a contradiction and a source of disturbance: and it was wrong to raise women with any skills other than those of a concubine or a domestic servant.
CHAPTER II.
It will be well to commence the detailed discussion of the subject by the particular branch of it to which the course of our observations has led us: the conditions which the laws of this and all other countries annex to the marriage contract. Marriage being the destination appointed by society for women, the prospect they are brought up to, and the object which it is intended should be sought by all of them, except those who are too little attractive to be chosen by any man as his companion; one might have supposed that everything would have been done to make this condition as eligible to them as possible, that they might have no cause to regret being denied the option of any other. Society, however, both in this, and, at first, in all other cases, has preferred to attain its object by foul rather than fair means: but this is the only case in which it has substantially persisted in them even to the present day. Originally women were taken by force, or regularly sold by their father to the husband. Until a late period in [Pg 54] European history, the father had the power to dispose of his daughter in marriage at his own will and pleasure, without any regard to hers. The Church, indeed, was so far faithful to a better morality as to require a formal “yes” from the woman at the marriage ceremony; but there was nothing to shew that the consent was other than compulsory; and it was practically impossible for the girl to refuse compliance if the father persevered, except perhaps when she might obtain the protection of religion by a determined resolution to take monastic vows. After marriage, the man had anciently (but this was anterior to Christianity) the power of life and death over his wife. She could invoke no law against him; he was her sole tribunal and law. For a long time he could repudiate her, but she had no corresponding power in regard to him. By the old laws of England, the husband was called the lord of the wife; he was literally regarded as her sovereign, inasmuch that the murder of a man by his wife was called treason (petty as distinguished from high treason), and was more cruelly avenged than was usually the case with high treason, for the penalty was burning to death. Because these various enormities have fallen into disuse (for most of them were never formally abolished, or not until they had long ceased to be practised) men suppose that all is now as it [Pg 55] should be in regard to the marriage contract; and we are continually told that civilization and Christianity have restored to the woman her just rights. Meanwhile the wife is the actual bond-servant of her husband: no less so, as far as legal obligation goes, than slaves commonly so called. She vows a lifelong obedience to him at the altar, and is held to it all through her life by law. Casuists may say that the obligation of obedience stops short of participation in crime, but it certainly extends to everything else. She can do no act whatever but by his permission, at least tacit. She can acquire no property but for him; the instant it becomes hers, even if by inheritance, it becomes ipso facto his. In this respect the wife's position under the common law of England is worse than that of slaves in the laws of many countries: by the Roman law, for example, a slave might have his peculium, which to a certain extent the law guaranteed to him for his exclusive use. The higher classes in this country have given an analogous advantage to their women, through special contracts setting aside the law, by conditions of pin-money, &c.: since parental feeling being stronger with fathers than the class feeling of their own sex, a father generally prefers his own daughter to a son-in-law who is a stranger to him. By means of settlements, the rich usually contrive to withdraw [Pg 56] the whole or part of the inherited property of the wife from the absolute control of the husband: but they do not succeed in keeping it under her own control; the utmost they can do only prevents the husband from squandering it, at the same time debarring the rightful owner from its use. The property itself is out of the reach of both; and as to the income derived from it, the form of settlement most favourable to the wife (that called “to her separate use”) only precludes the husband from receiving it instead of her: it must pass through her hands, but if he takes it from her by personal violence as soon as she receives it, he can neither be punished, nor compelled to restitution. This is the amount of the protection which, under the laws of this country, the most powerful nobleman can give to his own daughter as respects her husband. In the immense majority of cases there is no settlement: and the absorption of all rights, all property, as well as all freedom of action, is complete. The two are called “one person in law,” for the purpose of inferring that whatever is hers is his, but the parallel inference is never drawn that whatever is his is hers; the maxim is not applied against the man, except to make him responsible to third parties for her acts, as a master is for the acts of his slaves or of his cattle. I am far from pretending that wives are in [Pg 57] general no better treated than slaves; but no slave is a slave to the same lengths, and in so full a sense of the word, as a wife is. Hardly any slave, except one immediately attached to the master's person, is a slave at all hours and all minutes; in general he has, like a soldier, his fixed task, and when it is done, or when he is off duty, he disposes, within certain limits, of his own time, and has a family life into which the master rarely intrudes. “Uncle Tom” under his first master had his own life in his “cabin,” almost as much as any man whose work takes him away from home, is able to have in his own family. But it cannot be so with the wife. Above all, a female slave has (in Christian countries) an admitted right, and is considered under a moral obligation, to refuse to her master the last familiarity. Not so the wife: however brutal a tyrant she may unfortunately be chained to—though she may know that he hates her, though it may be his daily pleasure to torture her, and though she may feel it impossible not to loathe him—he can claim from her and enforce the lowest degradation of a human being, that of being made the instrument of an animal function contrary to her inclinations. While she is held in this worst description of slavery as to her own person, what is her position in regard to the children in whom she and her master have a joint interest? [Pg 58] They are by law his children. He alone has any legal rights over them. Not one act can she do towards or in relation to them, except by delegation from him. Even after he is dead she is not their legal guardian, unless he by will has made her so. He could even send them away from her, and deprive her of the means of seeing or corresponding with them, until this power was in some degree restricted by Serjeant Talfourd's Act. This is her legal state. And from this state she has no means of withdrawing herself. If she leaves her husband, she can take nothing with her, neither her children nor anything which is rightfully her own. If he chooses, he can compel her to return, by law, or by physical force; or he may content himself with seizing for his own use anything which she may earn, or which may be given to her by her relations. It is only legal separation by a decree of a court of justice, which entitles her to live apart, without being forced back into the custody of an exasperated jailer—or which empowers her to apply any earnings to her own use, without fear that a man whom perhaps she has not seen for twenty years will pounce upon her some day and carry all off. This legal separation, until lately, the courts of justice would only give at an expense which made it inaccessible to any one out of the higher ranks. Even now it is only given in cases of desertion, or of [Pg 59] the extreme of cruelty; and yet complaints are made every day that it is granted too easily. Surely, if a woman is denied any lot in life but that of being the personal body-servant of a despot, and is dependent for everything upon the chance of finding one who may be disposed to make a favourite of her instead of merely a drudge, it is a very cruel aggravation of her fate that she should be allowed to try this chance only once. The natural sequel and corollary from this state of things would be, that since her all in life depends upon obtaining a good master, she should be allowed to change again and again until she finds one. I am not saying that she ought to be allowed this privilege. That is a totally different consideration. The question of divorce, in the sense involving liberty of remarriage, is one into which it is foreign to my purpose to enter. All I now say is, that to those to whom nothing but servitude is allowed, the free choice of servitude is the only, though a most insufficient, alleviation. Its refusal completes the assimilation of the wife to the slave—and the slave under not the mildest form of slavery: for in some slave codes the slave could, under certain circumstances of ill usage, legally compel the master to sell him. But no amount of ill usage, without adultery superadded, will in England free a wife from her tormentor. [Pg 60]
It’s best to start the detailed discussion of this topic by considering the specific aspect we’ve been observing: the conditions that the laws of this and other countries attach to the marriage contract. Since marriage is seen as the role society assigns to women—the expectation they are raised with, and the goal they are meant to pursue, apart from those deemed too unattractive to be chosen by any man—it would seem logical that everything would be done to make this condition as appealing as possible, so they wouldn’t regret missing out on other options. However, society has historically preferred to achieve its goals through unfair means rather than fair ones, and this has continued more stubbornly in this case than in many others even today. Initially, women were taken by force or sold by their fathers to their husbands. Until a relatively recent period in [Pg 54] European history, fathers had the authority to arrange their daughters' marriages according to their own desires, disregarding the daughters' wishes. The Church did require a formal "yes" from the woman during the marriage ceremony, but there was no real evidence that this consent was anything but obligatory, and it was nearly impossible for a girl to refuse if her father insisted, unless she chose to take monastic vows as a way to seek protection through religion. After marriage, historically (before Christianity), the husband had life-and-death power over his wife. She had no legal recourse against him; he was her only judge and law. For a long time, he could divorce her, while she had no similar power regarding him. According to the old laws of England, the husband was considered the lord of his wife; he was literally seen as her sovereign, to the extent that if a wife murdered her husband, it was labeled treason (petty, in contrast to high treason), and was punished more severely than high treason, with a penalty of being burned alive. As these various injustices have faded from practice (most were never formally abolished or weren't until long after they ceased to be practiced), men now think that the marriage contract is as it should be; we are frequently told that civilization and Christianity have restored a woman's rightful entitlements. Meanwhile, the wife is effectively her husband's bondservant: as far as legal obligations go, she is no less so than slaves generally defined as such. She pledges lifelong obedience to him at the altar and is held to that vow throughout her life by law. Legal scholars might argue that her obligation to obey stops short of participating in a crime, but it certainly extends to everything else. She can perform no action without his permission, at least tacitly. She can own no property for herself; if she inherits something, it automatically becomes his as soon as it’s hers. In this regard, a wife's position under common law in England is worse than that of slaves in many countries: under Roman law, for instance, a slave could have his peculium, which the law protected for his personal use. The upper classes in this country have provided some similar benefits to their women through special contracts that override the law, allowing for conditions like pin money, etc.: usually, fathers, feeling a stronger parental bond than a class bond with their own sex, generally prefer their daughter over a son-in-law who is a stranger to them. Through settlements, the wealthy often manage to keep all or part of a wife’s inherited property beyond her husband’s direct control: however, they do not succeed in granting her control over it; the most they can do is prevent the husband from squandering it while denying the rightful owner the use of it. The property itself is out of reach for both; with respect to the income generated from it, the arrangement most beneficial to the wife (known as “to her separate use”) merely means the husband cannot take it instead of her: it must go through her hands, but if he claims it through force as soon as she receives it, he cannot be punished or made to return it. This is the extent of the protection that even the most powerful nobleman can offer his own daughter concerning her husband. In the vast majority of cases, there is no settlement: the total absorption of rights, property, and freedom of action is complete. Legally, they are considered “one person,” implying that whatever is hers is his, but the reverse implication—that whatever is his is hers—is never recognized; this principle does not apply against the man, except to hold him accountable to third parties for her actions, similar to how a master is responsible for the actions of his slaves or his livestock. I am not claiming that wives are generally treated no better than slaves; however, no slave is a slave in the same comprehensive and rigorous sense that a wife is. Hardly any slave, unless they are attached directly to their master's person, is a slave at all hours and every minute; generally, they have a defined task and once it’s accomplished, or when they’re off duty, they can manage their own time within certain limits and maintain a family life that the master rarely intrudes upon. “Uncle Tom” had his own life in his “cabin” under his first master, almost as much as any man who works away from home can have in his own family. But that is not the case with a wife. Above all, a female slave (in Christian nations) has an acknowledged right, and is viewed as morally obligated, to refuse the most intimate advances from her master. Not so for the wife: regardless of how cruel a tyrant she unfortunately finds herself bound to—whether she knows he despises her, whether it gives him daily pleasure to torment her, or whether she feels she cannot help but detest him—he can demand and enforce the lowest degradation of a human being: to be used as an instrument for an animal function against her will. While she endures this worst kind of slavery regarding her own body, what is her position concerning the children she shares with her master? [Pg 58] They are by law his children. He alone has any legal rights over them. She cannot perform any action concerning or regarding them, except by permission from him. Even after his death, she isn’t their legal guardian unless he has designated her as such in his will. He could even send them away from her and deprive her of the ability to see or communicate with them until this power was somewhat curtailed by Serjeant Talfourd's Act. This is her legal standing. And she has no way of freeing herself from this status. If she leaves her husband, she can’t take anything with her—not her children nor anything that rightfully belongs to her. If he chooses, he can force her to return, either through the law or physical coercion; or he might just take anything she earns or receives from her relatives for himself. Only legal separation through a court order allows her to live separately without being forced back into the control of an angry jailer—or gives her the authority to use her earnings freely without the fear that a man, perhaps one she hasn’t seen in twenty years, will suddenly appear and take everything from her. Until recently, the courts would only grant this legal separation at a cost that made it inaccessible to anyone outside the upper classes. Even now, it is only granted in cases of abandonment or extreme cruelty; yet, some still complain daily that it is given too easily. Surely, if a woman is restricted to living as the personal servant of a tyrant, and depends on the slim possibility of finding one who might treat her as a favorite rather than merely a servant, it is an even harsher twist of fate that she can only take a shot at this possibility once. A natural consequence of this situation would be for her, since her entire life hinges on finding a good master, to be permitted to change again and again until she finds one. I’m not suggesting she should have this privilege; that is a completely different issue. The topic of divorce, particularly where it involves the right to remarry, is something I will not delve into here. What I am stating is that for those restricted to servitude, the ability to choose among servitude is the only, though very inadequate, relief. Denying this option only furthers the comparison of a wife to a slave—and not under even the less severe forms of slavery: in some slave codes, a slave could, under certain circumstances of mistreatment, legally compel their master to sell them. But no amount of mistreatment, without the additional factor of adultery, will free a wife from her tormentor. [Pg 60]
I have no desire to exaggerate, nor does the case stand in any need of exaggeration. I have described the wife's legal position, not her actual treatment. The laws of most countries are far worse than the people who execute them, and many of them are only able to remain laws by being seldom or never carried into effect. If married life were all that it might be expected to be, looking to the laws alone, society would be a hell upon earth. Happily there are both feelings and interests which in many men exclude, and in most, greatly temper, the impulses and propensities which lead to tyranny: and of those feelings, the tie which connects a man with his wife affords, in a normal state of things, incomparably the strongest example. The only tie which at all approaches to it, that between him and his children, tends, in all save exceptional cases, to strengthen, instead of conflicting with, the first. Because this is true; because men in general do not inflict, nor women suffer, all the misery which could be inflicted and suffered if the full power of tyranny with which the man is legally invested were acted on; the defenders of the existing form of the institution think that all its iniquity is justified, and that any complaint is merely quarrelling with the evil which is the price paid for every great good. But the mitigations [Pg 61] in practice, which are compatible with maintaining in full legal force this or any other kind of tyranny, instead of being any apology for despotism, only serve to prove what power human nature possesses of reacting against the vilest institutions, and with what vitality the seeds of good as well as those of evil in human character diffuse and propagate themselves. Not a word can be said for despotism in the family which cannot be said for political despotism. Every absolute king does not sit at his window to enjoy the groans of his tortured subjects, nor strips them of their last rag and turns them out to shiver in the road. The despotism of Louis XVI. was not the despotism of Philippe le Bel, or of Nadir Shah, or of Caligula; but it was bad enough to justify the French Revolution, and to palliate even its horrors. If an appeal be made to the intense attachments which exist between wives and their husbands, exactly as much may be said of domestic slavery. It was quite an ordinary fact in Greece and Rome for slaves to submit to death by torture rather than betray their masters. In the proscriptions of the Roman civil wars it was remarked that wives and slaves were heroically faithful, sons very commonly treacherous. Yet we know how cruelly many Romans treated their slaves. But in truth these intense individual [Pg 62] feelings nowhere rise to such a luxuriant height as under the most atrocious institutions. It is part of the irony of life, that the strongest feelings of devoted gratitude of which human nature seems to be susceptible, are called forth in human beings towards those who, having the power entirely to crush their earthly existence, voluntarily refrain from using that power. How great a place in most men this sentiment fills, even in religious devotion, it would be cruel to inquire. We daily see how much their gratitude to Heaven appears to be stimulated by the contemplation of fellow-creatures to whom God has not been so merciful as he has to themselves.
I have no desire to exaggerate, nor does the case need any. I have described the wife's legal position, not her actual treatment. The laws in most countries are far worse than the people who enforce them, and many of these laws only exist because they're rarely or never enforced. If married life were as it might be expected to be, based on laws alone, society would be a hell on earth. Luckily, feelings and interests in many men prevent—and in most, significantly temper—the impulses that lead to tyranny. Among those feelings, the bond between a man and his wife provides the strongest example in a normal situation. The only bond that comes close is the one between him and his children, which typically strengthens, rather than conflicts with, the first. Because this is true; because men generally do not inflict, nor women suffer, all the misery that could be imposed if the full power of tyranny granted to the man were exercised; the defenders of this existing system believe that all its wrongs are justified and that any complaint is just quarreling with the evil that comes with every great good. However, the mitigations [Pg 61] that are compatible with fully maintaining this or any other type of tyranny, instead of being an excuse for despotism, only serve to prove the power of human nature to react against the worst institutions, and how vitality spreads the seeds of good as well as those of evil in human character. No argument can be made for family despotism that cannot be made for political despotism. Every absolute ruler does not sit at his window to enjoy the cries of his tortured subjects, nor does he strip them of their last belongings and leave them shivering on the street. The despotism of Louis XVI was not the same as that of Philippe le Bel, or Nadir Shah, or Caligula; yet it was bad enough to justify the French Revolution and to soften its horrors. If we talk about the strong bonds that exist between wives and husbands, just as much can be said about domestic slavery. In ancient Greece and Rome, it was quite common for slaves to choose death over betraying their masters. During the proscriptions of the Roman civil wars, it was noted that wives and slaves remained heroically loyal, while sons were often treacherous. Yet we know how cruelly many Romans treated their slaves. But in truth, these intense individual [Pg 62] feelings never reach such a flourishing height as they do under the most horrible institutions. It is part of life's irony that the strongest feelings of deep gratitude that human nature seems capable of are directed towards those who, having the power to completely ruin their existence, voluntarily choose not to use that power. How significant a place this sentiment occupies in most men, even in religious devotion, would be cruel to question. We see daily how much their gratitude toward Heaven seems to be fueled by the sight of fellow humans who have not received the same mercy from God as they have.
Whether the institution to be defended is slavery, political absolutism, or the absolutism of the head of a family, we are always expected to judge of it from its best instances; and we are presented with pictures of loving exercise of authority on one side, loving submission to it on the other—superior wisdom ordering all things for the greatest good of the dependents, and surrounded by their smiles and benedictions. All this would be very much to the purpose if any one pretended that there are no such things as good men. Who doubts that there may be great goodness, and great happiness, and great affection, under the absolute government of a good man? Meanwhile, laws and institutions require to be [Pg 63] adapted, not to good men, but to bad. Marriage is not an institution designed for a select few. Men are not required, as a preliminary to the marriage ceremony, to prove by testimonials that they are fit to be trusted with the exercise of absolute power. The tie of affection and obligation to a wife and children is very strong with those whose general social feelings are strong, and with many who are little sensible to any other social ties; but there are all degrees of sensibility and insensibility to it, as there are all grades of goodness and wickedness in men, down to those whom no ties will bind, and on whom society has no action but through its ultima ratio, the penalties of the law. In every grade of this descending scale are men to whom are committed all the legal powers of a husband. The vilest malefactor has some wretched woman tied to him, against whom he can commit any atrocity except killing her, and, if tolerably cautious, can do that without much danger of the legal penalty. And how many thousands are there among the lowest classes in every country, who, without being in a legal sense malefactors in any other respect, because in every other quarter their aggressions meet with resistance, indulge the utmost habitual excesses of bodily violence towards the unhappy wife, who alone, at least of grown persons, can neither repel nor escape from [Pg 64] their brutality; and towards whom the excess of dependence inspires their mean and savage natures, not with a generous forbearance, and a point of honour to behave well to one whose lot in life is trusted entirely to their kindness, but on the contrary with a notion that the law has delivered her to them as their thing, to be used at their pleasure, and that they are not expected to practise the consideration towards her which is required from them towards everybody else. The law, which till lately left even these atrocious extremes of domestic oppression practically unpunished, has within these few years made some feeble attempts to repress them. But its attempts have done little, and cannot be expected to do much, because it is contrary to reason and experience to suppose that there can be any real check to brutality, consistent with leaving the victim still in the power of the executioner. Until a conviction for personal violence, or at all events a repetition of it after a first conviction, entitles the woman ipso facto to a divorce, or at least to a judicial separation, the attempt to repress these “aggravated assaults” by legal penalties will break down for want of a prosecutor, or for want of a witness.
Whether the institution being defended is slavery, political absolutism, or the authority of a family head, we are always expected to evaluate it based on its best examples. We see portrayals of a caring exercise of power on one side and loving submission on the other—wise leaders managing everything for the dependents' benefit, surrounded by their smiles and blessings. All of this would be quite relevant if anyone claimed that good people don't exist. Who doubts that remarkable goodness, happiness, and affection can exist under the absolute rule of a good person? Meanwhile, laws and institutions need to be adapted not to good people but to bad ones. Marriage isn't an institution intended for just a select few. Men aren't required, before the marriage ceremony, to prove they can responsibly wield absolute power. The bond of love and responsibility to a spouse and children is very strong among those who have strong social feelings and even among many who aren't very aware of other social connections. However, there are varying degrees of sensitivity and insensitivity to this bond, just as there are different levels of goodness and wickedness in people, down to those whom no ties will restrain, and on whom society can only exert influence through its ultimate weapon, the law's penalties. At every level of this descending scale are men entrusted with all the legal powers of a husband. The most despicable criminal has some unfortunate woman tied to him, someone against whom he can commit any atrocity except for killing her, and, if he's careful enough, can even manage that without facing much legal consequence. And how many thousands are there among the lowest classes in every country who, without being legally considered criminals in other ways, indulge in extreme habitual violence against the unfortunate woman who, as the only adult person, can neither defend herself nor escape from their brutality? For the violent, the severity of her dependence fuels their mean and savage natures, not with a sense of generous restraint or a sense of honor to treat someone whose life depends entirely on their kindness well, but instead, with the idea that the law has handed her over as their property, to be used at their discretion, and that they aren't required to show her the consideration they must show to everyone else. The law, which until recently allowed even these horrific extremes of domestic abuse to go largely unpunished, has made some weak attempts in recent years to address them. However, these efforts have done little and are not expected to achieve much, as it's unreasonable and contrary to experience to think that there can be any real check on brutality while the victim remains under the control of the perpetrator. Until a conviction for personal violence, or at the very least a repeat offense after a first conviction, automatically grants the woman a divorce or at least a legal separation, attempts to tackle these "aggravated assaults" through legal penalties will falter either due to lack of a prosecutor or lack of a witness.
When we consider how vast is the number of men, in any great country, who are little higher than brutes, and that this never prevents them [Pg 65] from being able, through the law of marriage, to obtain a victim, the breadth and depth of human misery caused in this shape alone by the abuse of the institution swells to something appalling. Yet these are only the extreme cases. They are the lowest abysses, but there is a sad succession of depth after depth before reaching them. In domestic as in political tyranny, the case of absolute monsters chiefly illustrates the institution by showing that there is scarcely any horror which may not occur under it if the despot pleases, and thus setting in a strong light what must be the terrible frequency of things only a little less atrocious. Absolute fiends are as rare as angels, perhaps rarer: ferocious savages, with occasional touches of humanity, are however very frequent: and in the wide interval which separates these from any worthy representatives of the human species, how many are the forms and gradations of animalism and selfishness, often under an outward varnish of civilization and even cultivation, living at peace with the law, maintaining a creditable appearance to all who are not under their power, yet sufficient often to make the lives of all who are so, a torment and a burthen to them! It would be tiresome to repeat the commonplaces about the unfitness of men in general for power, which, after the political discussions of centuries, every [Pg 66] one knows by heart, were it not that hardly any one thinks of applying these maxims to the case in which above all others they are applicable, that of power, not placed in the hands of a man here and there, but offered to every adult male, down to the basest and most ferocious. It is not because a man is not known to have broken any of the Ten Commandments, or because he maintains a respectable character in his dealings with those whom he cannot compel to have intercourse with him, or because he does not fly out into violent bursts of ill-temper against those who are not obliged to bear with him, that it is possible to surmise of what sort his conduct will be in the unrestraint of home. Even the commonest men reserve the violent, the sulky, the undisguisedly selfish side of their character for those who have no power to withstand it. The relation of superiors to dependents is the nursery of these vices of character, which, wherever else they exist, are an overflowing from that source. A man who is morose or violent to his equals, is sure to be one who has lived among inferiors, whom he could frighten or worry into submission. If the family in its best forms is, as it is often said to be, a school of sympathy, tenderness, and loving forgetfulness of self, it is still oftener, as respects its chief, a school of wilfulness, overbearingness, unbounded self-indulgence, and a [Pg 67] double-dyed and idealized selfishness, of which sacrifice itself is only a particular form: the care for the wife and children being only care for them as parts of the man's own interests and belongings, and their individual happiness being immolated in every shape to his smallest preferences. What better is to be looked for under the existing form of the institution? We know that the bad propensities of human nature are only kept within bounds when they are allowed no scope for their indulgence. We know that from impulse and habit, when not from deliberate purpose, almost every one to whom others yield, goes on encroaching upon them, until a point is reached at which they are compelled to resist. Such being the common tendency of human nature; the almost unlimited power which present social institutions give to the man over at least one human being—the one with whom he resides, and whom he has always present—this power seeks out and evokes the latent germs of selfishness in the remotest corners of his nature—fans its faintest sparks and smouldering embers—offers to him a license for the indulgence of those points of his original character which in all other relations he would have found it necessary to repress and conceal, and the repression of which would in time have become a second nature. I know that there is another side to [Pg 68] the question. I grant that the wife, if she cannot effectually resist, can at least retaliate; she, too, can make the man's life extremely uncomfortable, and by that power is able to carry many points which she ought, and many which she ought not, to prevail in. But this instrument of self-protection—which may be called the power of the scold, or the shrewish sanction—has the fatal defect, that it avails most against the least tyrannical superiors, and in favour of the least deserving dependents. It is the weapon of irritable and self-willed women; of those who would make the worst use of power if they themselves had it, and who generally turn this power to a bad use. The amiable cannot use such an instrument, the highminded disdain it. And on the other hand, the husbands against whom it is used most effectively are the gentler and more inoffensive; those who cannot be induced, even by provocation, to resort to any very harsh exercise of authority. The wife's power of being disagreeable generally only establishes a counter-tyranny, and makes victims in their turn chiefly of those husbands who are least inclined to be tyrants.
When we think about how many men in any large country are only slightly above animals, and that this doesn't stop them from using the institution of marriage to take a victim, the extent of human misery caused by this abuse is truly shocking. But these are just the most extreme examples. They are the deepest lows, but there's a long sad line of depths to reach before getting there. In domestic as well as political tyranny, the worst monsters highlight just how horrendous this institution can be, showing us that there’s barely any horror that may not happen under it if the ruler desires, emphasizing how often slightly less terrible things occur. Absolute monsters are as rare as angels, maybe even rarer; however, ferocious savages with occasional glimpses of humanity are quite common. In the vast gap between these and any decent representatives of humanity, there are countless forms and levels of animalism and selfishness, often cloaked in a facade of civilization and even refinement, coexisting peacefully with the law while maintaining a respectable appearance to those they can’t dominate, yet often making life a torment for those who are under their control! It might get tedious to repeat the clichés about how generally unfit men are for power, which everyone knows by heart after centuries of political discussions, if it weren’t for the fact that hardly anyone thinks to apply these maxims to the situation where they matter most: power that isn’t just held by a man here and there, but is offered to every adult male, even the lowest and most brutal. Just because a man hasn’t been known to break any of the Ten Commandments, or because he appears respectable in his dealings with those he can’t force to interact with him, or because he doesn’t explode in violent fits of anger towards those who don’t have to tolerate him, doesn’t tell us what his behavior will be like in the freedom of home. Even the most ordinary men tend to reserve their violent, sulky, and unapologetically selfish sides for those who can’t stand up to them. The relationship between those in power and their dependents fosters these character flaws, which, wherever else they exist, overflow from that source. A man who is grumpy or aggressive towards his equals is likely one who has spent time dominating those beneath him, whom he could frighten or push into submission. If the family, in its best forms, is often seen as a place of empathy, kindness, and selfless love, it is still more often, from the perspective of the head of the family, a training ground for willfulness, arrogance, endless self-indulgence, and a deeply embedded and idealized selfishness, where even sacrifice is simply a specific form of self-interest: caring for a wife and children being merely about them as parts of a man’s own interests and possessions, with their individual happiness sacrificed for his slightest preferences. What better can be expected under the current structure of the institution? We know that the darker tendencies of human nature are only kept in check when they are given no opportunity for expression. We know that out of impulse and habit, if not from intentional purpose, almost everyone who has others yielding to them tends to encroach upon them, until a point is reached where they must resist. Given this usual tendency of human nature, the nearly unlimited power that social institutions currently grant a man over at least one person—the one he lives with and always has to deal with—this power seeks out and brings to life the hidden germs of selfishness deep within him—stirring up the faintest sparks and smoldering embers—giving him a license to indulge those aspects of his true nature that in all other relationships he would need to suppress and hide, and the suppression of which would eventually become his second nature. I recognize that there’s another side to the issue. I acknowledge that a wife, if she can’t effectively resist, can at least retaliate; she can also make a man’s life very uncomfortable, and with that power, she’s able to win many arguments that she should, and many that she shouldn’t win. But this means of self-defense—which could be termed the power of the scold or the shrewish sanction—has the serious flaw of being most effective against the least tyrannical superiors, and in favor of the least deserving dependents. It is a weapon of irritable and self-willed women; those who would use power badly if they had it themselves and who generally misuse this power. The kind-hearted cannot wield such a tool; the honorable scorn it. Meanwhile, the husbands who are most often targeted by this are usually the gentler and less aggressive, those who can’t be stirred, even by provocation, to exercise any harsh authority. The wife's ability to be unpleasant generally just creates an opposing tyranny, mostly making victims of husbands who are least likely to be tyrants.
What is it, then, which really tempers the corrupting effects of the power, and makes it compatible with such amount of good as we actually see? Mere feminine blandishments, [Pg 69] though of great effect in individual instances, have very little effect in modifying the general tendencies of the situation; for their power only lasts while the woman is young and attractive, often only while her charm is new, and not dimmed by familiarity; and on many men they have not much influence at any time. The real mitigating causes are, the personal affection which is the growth of time, in so far as the man's nature is susceptible of it, and the woman's character sufficiently congenial with his to excite it; their common interests as regards the children, and their general community of interest as concerns third persons (to which however there are very great limitations); the real importance of the wife to his daily comforts and enjoyments, and the value he consequently attaches to her on his personal account, which, in a man capable of feeling for others, lays the foundation of caring for her on her own; and lastly, the influence naturally acquired over almost all human beings by those near to their persons (if not actually disagreeable to them): who, both by their direct entreaties, and by the insensible contagion of their feelings and dispositions, are often able, unless counteracted by some equally strong personal influence, to obtain a degree of command over the conduct of the superior, altogether excessive and unreasonable. Through these various means, the [Pg 70] wife frequently exercises even too much power over the man; she is able to affect his conduct in things in which she may not be qualified to influence it for good—in which her influence may be not only unenlightened, but employed on the morally wrong side; and in which he would act better if left to his own prompting. But neither in the affairs of families nor in those of states is power a compensation for the loss of freedom. Her power often gives her what she has no right to, but does not enable her to assert her own rights. A Sultan's favourite slave has slaves under her, over whom she tyrannizes; but the desirable thing would be that she should neither have slaves nor be a slave. By entirely sinking her own existence in her husband; by having no will (or persuading him that she has no will) but his, in anything which regards their joint relation, and by making it the business of her life to work upon his sentiments, a wife may gratify herself by influencing, and very probably perverting, his conduct, in those of his external relations which she has never qualified herself to judge of, or in which she is herself wholly influenced by some personal or other partiality or prejudice. Accordingly, as things now are, those who act most kindly to their wives, are quite as often made worse, as better, by the wife's influence, in respect to all interests extending [Pg 71] beyond the family. She is taught that she has no business with things out of that sphere; and accordingly she seldom has any honest and conscientious opinion on them; and therefore hardly ever meddles with them for any legitimate purpose, but generally for an interested one. She neither knows nor cares which is the right side in politics, but she knows what will bring in money or invitations, give her husband a title, her son a place, or her daughter a good marriage.
What, then, really tempers the corrupting effects of power and makes it compatible with the amount of good we actually see? Simple feminine charm, [Pg 69] while effective in some situations, has little impact on the overall trends; its influence lasts only as long as the woman is young and attractive, and often only while her appeal is fresh and hasn't faded through familiarity. For many men, it hardly matters at any time. The true mitigating factors are the personal affection that develops over time, as long as the man is capable of it and the woman's character resonates with his; their shared interests concerning the children, and their overall community of interest regarding others (though there are significant limits to this); the genuine importance of the wife to his daily comfort and happiness, and the value he places on her due to this, which, in a man who can care for others, lays the groundwork for caring about her for her own sake; and finally, the natural influence those close to us hold over us (unless they are actively unpleasant): who, through their direct requests and the subtle transmission of their feelings and attitudes, can often gain an excessive and unreasonable control over the superior's behavior unless countered by another equally strong influence. Through these various means, the [Pg 70] wife often wields too much power over the man; she can affect his behavior in areas where she may not be suited to guide him for the better—in those cases, her influence may be not only uninformed but also morally misguided; and he would likely make better decisions if he followed his own instincts. However, in family matters and in governance, power doesn't compensate for the loss of freedom. Her power sometimes grants her what she has no right to, but does not allow her to claim her own rights. A Sultan's favorite slave may have other slaves under her control, over whom she rules tyrannically; yet what would be ideal is for her to neither have slaves nor be one herself. By completely subsuming her own identity into her husband's; by having no will (or convincing him that she has no will) outside of his concerning their relationship, and by making it her life's work to influence his feelings, a wife can satisfy herself by affecting—and probably distorting—his behavior in his external affairs, which she is unqualified to judge or is entirely influenced by some personal bias or prejudice. Consequently, as things stand now, those who treat their wives most kindly are just as often made worse rather than better by her influence regarding all interests beyond the household. She learns that she shouldn't engage with matters outside that sphere; as a result, she rarely has a genuine and conscientious opinion on them and seldom interferes for legitimate reasons, but generally for self-serving ones. She neither knows nor cares which political side is right but is aware of what will bring in money or invitations, earn her husband a title, secure her son a position, or provide her daughter with a good marriage.
But how, it will be asked, can any society exist without government? In a family, as in a state, some one person must be the ultimate ruler. Who shall decide when married people differ in opinion? Both cannot have their way, yet a decision one way or the other must be come to.
But how, you might wonder, can any society exist without a government? In a family, just like in a state, someone has to be the final decision-maker. Who will decide when married couples disagree? Both can't have their way, but a choice has to be made one way or another.
It is not true that in all voluntary association between two people, one of them must be absolute master: still less that the law must determine which of them it shall be. The most frequent case of voluntary association, next to marriage, is partnership in business: and it is not found or thought necessary to enact that in every partnership, one partner shall have entire control over the concern, and the others shall be bound to obey his orders. No one would enter into partnership on terms which would subject him to the responsibilities of a principal, with only the [Pg 72] powers and privileges of a clerk or agent. If the law dealt with other contracts as it does with marriage, it would ordain that one partner should administer the common business as if it was his private concern; that the others should have only delegated powers; and that this one should be designated by some general presumption of law, for example as being the eldest. The law never does this: nor does experience show it to be necessary that any theoretical inequality of power should exist between the partners, or that the partnership should have any other conditions than what they may themselves appoint by their articles of agreement. Yet it might seem that the exclusive power might be conceded with less danger to the rights and interests of the inferior, in the case of partnership than in that of marriage, since he is free to cancel the power by withdrawing from the connexion. The wife has no such power, and even if she had, it is almost always desirable that she should try all measures before resorting to it.
It’s not true that in every voluntary relationship between two people, one of them has to be the absolute boss; even less is it true that the law needs to decide who that should be. The most common example of voluntary association, besides marriage, is business partnership: and it’s not necessary to establish that in every partnership, one partner should have complete control over the business while the others must follow their orders. No one would agree to a partnership where they take on the responsibilities of a main partner but only have the powers and privileges of a clerk or agent. If the law treated other contracts like it does marriage, it would require that one partner handle the business as if it were solely theirs; the others would only have limited powers, and this one person would be chosen by some general legal presumption, like being the oldest. The law doesn’t do this, nor does real life show that any theoretical imbalance of power needs to exist between partners, or that the partnership should have any other rules than what they can agree upon in their contract. However, it might seem that giving exclusive power would be less risky for the rights and interests of the subordinate partner in a partnership than in marriage, since they can end the partnership at any time. The wife doesn’t have that option, and even if she did, it’s often best for her to try every other option before taking that step.
It is quite true that things which have to be decided every day, and cannot adjust themselves gradually, or wait for a compromise, ought to depend on one will: one person must have their sole control. But it does not follow that this should always be the same person. The natural arrangement is a division of powers [Pg 73] between the two; each being absolute in the executive branch of their own department, and any change of system and principle requiring the consent of both. The division neither can nor should be pre-established by the law, since it must depend on individual capacities and suitabilities. If the two persons chose, they might pre-appoint it by the marriage contract, as pecuniary arrangements are now often pre-appointed. There would seldom be any difficulty in deciding such things by mutual consent, unless the marriage was one of those unhappy ones in which all other things, as well as this, become subjects of bickering and dispute. The division of rights would naturally follow the division of duties and functions; and that is already made by consent, or at all events not by law, but by general custom, modified and modifiable at the pleasure of the persons concerned.
It's true that matters needing daily decisions, which can't be gradually adjusted or wait for a compromise, should rely on a single authority: one person should have full control. However, this doesn't mean it always has to be the same person. The ideal setup is a division of powers [Pg 73] between the two people; each having complete authority in the executive role of their own area, with any changes in system or principles needing both parties' agreement. The division can't and shouldn't be entirely defined by law, as it must depend on individual abilities and suitability. If the two individuals wanted, they could outline it in their marriage contract, like how financial arrangements are often set up in advance. Typically, there would be little trouble deciding such matters by mutual agreement, unless the marriage is one of those unfortunate ones where everything, including this, becomes a source of conflict and argument. The division of rights would naturally align with the division of responsibilities and roles; and that is usually established by agreement or, at least, not by law but by general custom, which can be modified at the discretion of those involved.
The real practical decision of affairs, to whichever may be given the legal authority, will greatly depend, as it even now does, upon comparative qualifications. The mere fact that he is usually the eldest, will in most cases give the preponderance to the man; at least until they both attain a time of life at which the difference in their years is of no importance. There will naturally also be a more potential voice on the side, whichever it is, that brings the means of [Pg 74] support. Inequality from this source does not depend on the law of marriage, but on the general conditions of human society, as now constituted. The influence of mental superiority, either general or special, and of superior decision of character, will necessarily tell for much. It always does so at present. And this fact shows how little foundation there is for the apprehension that the powers and responsibilities of partners in life (as of partners in business), cannot be satisfactorily apportioned by agreement between themselves. They always are so apportioned, except in cases in which the marriage institution is a failure. Things never come to an issue of downright power on one side, and obedience on the other, except where the connexion altogether has been a mistake, and it would be a blessing to both parties to be relieved from it. Some may say that the very thing by which an amicable settlement of differences becomes possible, is the power of legal compulsion known to be in reserve; as people submit to an arbitration because there is a court of law in the background, which they know that they can be forced to obey. But to make the cases parallel, we must suppose that the rule of the court of law was, not to try the cause, but to give judgment always for the same side, suppose the defendant. If so, [Pg 75] the amenability to it would be a motive with the plaintiff to agree to almost any arbitration, but it would be just the reverse with the defendant. The despotic power which the law gives to the husband may be a reason to make the wife assent to any compromise by which power is practically shared between the two, but it cannot be the reason why the husband does. That there is always among decently conducted people a practical compromise, though one of them at least is under no physical or moral necessity of making it, shows that the natural motives which lead to a voluntary adjustment of the united life of two persons in a manner acceptable to both, do on the whole, except in unfavourable cases, prevail. The matter is certainly not improved by laying down as an ordinance of law, that the superstructure of free government shall be raised upon a legal basis of despotism on one side and subjection on the other, and that every concession which the despot makes may, at his mere pleasure, and without any warning, be recalled. Besides that no freedom is worth much when held on so precarious a tenure, its conditions are not likely to be the most equitable when the law throws so prodigious a weight into one scale; when the adjustment rests between two persons one of whom is declared to be entitled to [Pg 76] everything, the other not only entitled to nothing except during the good pleasure of the first, but under the strongest moral and religious obligation not to rebel under any excess of oppression.
The real practical decision-making in any matter, regardless of who has the legal authority, will largely depend, as it does now, on the comparative abilities of those involved. Just because he is usually the oldest, he will often hold more influence, at least until they reach an age where the age gap no longer matters. There will also naturally be a stronger voice for whichever side can provide financial support. This inequality doesn’t stem from marriage laws but from the general structure of society as it currently exists. The impact of intellectual superiority, whether general or specialized, and the ability to make better decisions will always play a significant role. This is the case today. This situation highlights how little basis there is for the fear that the powers and responsibilities of partners in life (like those in business) cannot be effectively divided by mutual agreement. They typically are, except in cases where the marriage itself is a failure. Conflicts don't usually boil down to sheer power on one side and obedience on the other, except when the relationship has been a mistake, and both parties would benefit from separating. Some might argue that the very reason an amicable settlement of differences is possible is the threat of legal enforcement that looms in the background; people agree to arbitration because they know a court of law could compel their obedience. However, to make this comparison valid, we must assume that the law's court system doesn’t seek to fairly evaluate cases but always rules in favor of one side, say the defendant. If that were the case, the fear of the law's potential consequences could motivate the plaintiff to accept almost any arbitration, but it would be the opposite for the defendant. The ultimate authority the law grants to the husband might lead the wife to agree to any compromise that allows for shared power, but it cannot be the reason why the husband would. The fact that among well-meaning people there is often a practical compromise, even when one party has no physical or moral need to agree, indicates that the natural motivations for a voluntary arrangement of their life together, one that is satisfactory to both parties, usually succeed, except in less favorable situations. The situation isn't improved by declaring as law that the structure of free government should rest on a foundation of tyranny on one side and submission on the other, where every concession made by the tyrant could, at their whim and without warning, be retracted. Aside from the fact that no freedom holds much value when it's so uncertain, its terms aren't likely to be fair when the law heavily favors one side; when the arrangement involves two people, one of whom is declared entitled to everything and the other to nothing except at the first person's discretion, and the latter is also under a strong moral and religious duty not to resist excessive oppression.
A pertinacious adversary, pushed to extremities, may say, that husbands indeed are willing to be reasonable, and to make fair concessions to their partners without being compelled to it, but that wives are not: that if allowed any rights of their own, they will acknowledge no rights at all in any one else, and never will yield in anything, unless they can be compelled, by the man's mere authority, to yield in everything. This would have been said by many persons some generations ago, when satires on women were in vogue, and men thought it a clever thing to insult women for being what men made them. But it will be said by no one now who is worth replying to. It is not the doctrine of the present day that women are less susceptible of good feeling, and consideration for those with whom they are united by the strongest ties, than men are. On the contrary, we are perpetually told that women are better than men, by those who are totally opposed to treating them as if they were as good; so that the saying has passed into a piece of tiresome cant, intended to put a complimentary face upon an injury, and resembling [Pg 77] those celebrations of royal clemency which, according to Gulliver, the king of Lilliput always prefixed to his most sanguinary decrees. If women are better than men in anything, it surely is in individual self-sacrifice for those of their own family. But I lay little stress on this, so long as they are universally taught that they are born and created for self-sacrifice. I believe that equality of rights would abate the exaggerated self-abnegation which is the present artificial ideal of feminine character, and that a good woman would not be more self-sacrificing than the best man: but on the other hand, men would be much more unselfish and self-sacrificing than at present, because they would no longer be taught to worship their own will as such a grand thing that it is actually the law for another rational being. There is nothing which men so easily learn as this self-worship: all privileged persons, and all privileged classes, have had it. The more we descend in the scale of humanity, the intenser it is; and most of all in those who are not, and can never expect to be, raised above any one except an unfortunate wife and children. The honourable exceptions are proportionally fewer than in the case of almost any other human infirmity. Philosophy and religion, instead of keeping it in check, are generally suborned to defend it; and nothing controls it but that [Pg 78] practical feeling of the equality of human beings, which is the theory of Christianity, but which Christianity will never practically teach, while it sanctions institutions grounded on an arbitrary preference of one human being over another.
A stubborn opponent, pushed to the limit, might argue that husbands are willing to be reasonable and make fair compromises with their partners without being forced to, but that wives are not. They might say that if women were granted any rights of their own, they wouldn't acknowledge anyone else's rights and would never compromise unless they could be compelled to by a man's authority. This was a sentiment shared by many people in past generations when it was fashionable to mock women, and men thought it clever to belittle women for being what men shaped them to be. However, no one of worth would say this today. It’s not a contemporary belief that women are less capable of good feelings and concern for those closest to them than men are. On the contrary, we often hear that women are better than men from those who entirely refuse to treat them as if they were equal, making that idea a tiresome cliché designed to gloss over an injustice, resembling those declarations of royal mercy mentioned by Gulliver, which the king of Lilliput always attached to his most brutal laws. If women excel over men in any area, it’s certainly in personal self-sacrifice for their families. Nonetheless, I don't emphasize this much, as long as women are taught that they exist solely for self-sacrifice. I believe that equality of rights would reduce the extreme self-denial that is the current unrealistic ideal of female character, and a good woman wouldn’t be more self-sacrificing than a good man. Conversely, men would become much more selfless and self-sacrificing than they are now because they wouldn’t be conditioned to idolize their own will as something so remarkable that it becomes a law for another rational being. Nothing is so easily learned by men as this self-worship; all privileged individuals and classes have experienced it. The lower we go in the hierarchy of humanity, the more intense it becomes, especially among those who are never, and can never expect to be, elevated above someone like an unfortunate wife and children. The honorable exceptions are proportionally fewer than in nearly any other human flaw. Philosophy and religion typically do not restrain it; instead, they are often used to defend it. The only thing that controls it is the practical awareness of human equality, which is the essence of Christianity, but which Christianity will never truly teach as long as it supports institutions based on one person’s arbitrary superiority over another.
There are, no doubt, women, as there are men, whom equality of consideration will not satisfy; with whom there is no peace while any will or wish is regarded but their own. Such persons are a proper subject for the law of divorce. They are only fit to live alone, and no human beings ought to be compelled to associate their lives with them. But the legal subordination tends to make such characters among women more, rather than less, frequent. If the man exerts his whole power, the woman is of course crushed: but if she is treated with indulgence, and permitted to assume power, there is no rule to set limits to her encroachments. The law, not determining her rights, but theoretically allowing her none at all, practically declares that the measure of what she has a right to, is what she can contrive to get.
There are definitely women, just like there are men, for whom equal consideration isn’t enough; for whom there can be no peace as long as anyone else’s desires are taken into account. These individuals are ideally suited for divorce. They are only fit to live on their own, and no one should have to share their life with them. However, legal subordination tends to make this kind of behavior more common among women, not less. If a man uses all his strength, the woman is obviously overwhelmed; but if she is treated kindly and allowed to take control, there are no limits to her overstepping. The law, which doesn't define her rights but theoretically grants her none, practically says that what she can claim as her right is only what she can manage to obtain.
The equality of married persons before the law, is not only the sole mode in which that particular relation can be made consistent with justice to both sides, and conducive to the happiness of both, but it is the only means of rendering the daily life of mankind, in any [Pg 79] high sense, a school of moral cultivation. Though the truth may not be felt or generally acknowledged for generations to come, the only school of genuine moral sentiment is society between equals. The moral education of mankind has hitherto emanated chiefly from the law of force, and is adapted almost solely to the relations which force creates. In the less advanced states of society, people hardly recognise any relation with their equals. To be an equal is to be an enemy. Society, from its highest place to its lowest, is one long chain, or rather ladder, where every individual is either above or below his nearest neighbour, and wherever he does not command he must obey. Existing moralities, accordingly, are mainly fitted to a relation of command and obedience. Yet command and obedience are but unfortunate necessities of human life: society in equality is its normal state. Already in modern life, and more and more as it progressively improves, command and obedience become exceptional facts in life, equal association its general rule. The morality of the first ages rested on the obligation to submit to power; that of the ages next following, on the right of the weak to the forbearance and protection of the strong. How much longer is one form of society and life to content itself with the morality made for another? We have had [Pg 80] the morality of submission, and the morality of chivalry and generosity; the time is now come for the morality of justice. Whenever, in former ages, any approach has been made to society in equality, Justice has asserted its claims as the foundation of virtue. It was thus in the free republics of antiquity. But even in the best of these, the equals were limited to the free male citizens; slaves, women, and the unenfranchised residents were under the law of force. The joint influence of Roman civilization and of Christianity obliterated these distinctions, and in theory (if only partially in practice) declared the claims of the human being, as such, to be paramount to those of sex, class, or social position. The barriers which had begun to be levelled were raised again by the northern conquests; and the whole of modern history consists of the slow process by which they have since been wearing away. We are entering into an order of things in which justice will again be the primary virtue; grounded as before on equal, but now also on sympathetic association; having its root no longer in the instinct of equals for self-protection, but in a cultivated sympathy between them; and no one being now left out, but an equal measure being extended to all. It is no novelty that mankind do not distinctly foresee their own changes, [Pg 81] and that their sentiments are adapted to past, not to coming ages. To see the futurity of the species has always been the privilege of the intellectual élite, or of those who have learnt from them; to have the feelings of that futurity has been the distinction, and usually the martyrdom, of a still rarer élite. Institutions, books, education, society, all go on training human beings for the old, long after the new has come; much more when it is only coming. But the true virtue of human beings is fitness to live together as equals; claiming nothing for themselves but what they as freely concede to every one else; regarding command of any kind as an exceptional necessity, and in all cases a temporary one; and preferring, whenever possible, the society of those with whom leading and following can be alternate and reciprocal. To these virtues, nothing in life as at present constituted gives cultivation by exercise. The family is a school of despotism, in which the virtues of despotism, but also its vices, are largely nourished. Citizenship, in free countries, is partly a school of society in equality; but citizenship fills only a small place in modern life, and does not come near the daily habits or inmost sentiments. The family, justly constituted, would be the real school of the virtues of freedom. It is sure to be a sufficient one of everything else. It will [Pg 82] always be a school of obedience for the children, of command for the parents. What is needed is, that it should be a school of sympathy in equality, of living together in love, without power on one side or obedience on the other. This it ought to be between the parents. It would then be an exercise of those virtues which each requires to fit them for all other association, and a model to the children of the feelings and conduct which their temporary training by means of obedience is designed to render habitual, and therefore natural, to them. The moral training of mankind will never be adapted to the conditions of the life for which all other human progress is a preparation, until they practise in the family the same moral rule which is adapted to the normal constitution of human society. Any sentiment of freedom which can exist in a man whose nearest and dearest intimacies are with those of whom he is absolute master, is not the genuine or Christian love of freedom, but, what the love of freedom generally was in the ancients and in the middle ages—an intense feeling of the dignity and importance of his own personality; making him disdain a yoke for himself, of which he has no abhorrence whatever in the abstract, but which he is abundantly ready to impose on others for his own interest or glorification. [Pg 83]
The equality of married people under the law is not only the only way to ensure justice for both partners and promote their happiness, but it's also the only way to make daily life a genuine source of moral growth. Even though the truth may not be understood or widely accepted for many years, the only true school for developing moral values is a society of equals. Historically, the moral education of humanity has stemmed mainly from the law of force, serving primarily the dynamic created by that force. In less developed societies, people barely recognize any relationships with their equals. To be equal is often seen as being an enemy. Society, from the highest level to the lowest, resembles one long chain—or rather a ladder—where everyone is either above or below their nearest neighbor; where one does not lead, they must follow. Existing moral systems are mainly suited to relationships defined by command and obedience. However, command and obedience are merely unfortunate necessities of human life; society should naturally exist in equality. In modern life, and increasingly as it continues to improve, command and obedience are becoming rare occurrences, while equal association is becoming the norm. The morality of earlier ages relied on the obligation to submit to power; the following ages established the right of the weak to expect patience and protection from the strong. How much longer can one form of society be content with the morality designed for another? We have experienced the morality of submission and the morality of chivalry and kindness; it is now time for the morality of justice. In earlier times, whenever any move was made toward a society of equals, justice asserted itself as the foundation of virtue. This was true in the free republics of antiquity. However, even in the best of these societies, equality was usually limited to free male citizens; slaves, women, and disenfranchised residents were subjected to the law of force. The combined influence of Roman civilization and Christianity erased these distinctions, and in theory (though only partially in practice), it declared that the claims of all human beings should take precedence over those based on sex, class, or social standing. The barriers that had begun to break down were raised again due to northern conquests, and the entirety of modern history has been a slow process of dismantling these barriers. We are moving toward a system in which justice will once again be seen as the highest virtue; grounded like before on equal but also on compassionate association; rooted not only in the instinct of equals for self-protection but in a cultivated empathy among them; with each individual included and justice applied equally to all. It's not uncommon that humanity fails to clearly anticipate its future changes and that its sentiments are shaped by the past rather than the future. Understanding the future of humanity has always been a privilege of the intellectual elite or those who have learned from them; feeling that future has been the distinction, and often the sacrifice, of an even rarer elite. Institutions, literature, education, and society continue to train people for the old ways long after the new has arrived, especially when it is just starting to emerge. However, the true virtue of humanity lies in their ability to live together as equals; demanding nothing from others that they do not equally give; viewing any form of command as an unfortunate necessity and preferring, whenever possible, relationships where leadership and following can alternate and be mutual. Currently, nothing in life as it stands fosters these virtues through practice. The family is a school of despotism, nurturing both the virtues and vices of domination. Citizenship in free nations offers some lessons on equality, but citizenship occupies only a limited space in modern life and doesn't touch the everyday habits or deep sentiments. A well-structured family would be the true school of the virtues of freedom. It would surely provide a sufficient amount of everything else. It will consistently teach obedience to children and command to parents. What is required is for it to be a school of empathy in equality, where living together is filled with love without one side holding power or the other simply obeying. This should be the case between parents as well. It would then cultivate the virtues each needs to prepare them for all other relationships, and serve as a model to children of the feelings and behaviors that their temporary training through obedience aims to make natural and habitual for them. The moral training of humanity will never align with the life conditions that all other human progress aims to prepare for until they practice within the family the same moral principles that suit the normal fabric of human society. Any sense of freedom that exists in a person whose closest and most intimate relationships are with those over whom they have absolute authority is not the true or Christian love of freedom. Instead, it resembles what the love of freedom typically was in ancient times and during the Middle Ages—an intense appreciation for the dignity and importance of one’s own identity, leading them to reject a yoke for themselves, of which they have no aversion in the abstract, but readily impose on others for their own benefit or glorification.
I readily admit (and it is the very foundation of my hopes) that numbers of married people even under the present law, (in the higher classes of England probably a great majority,) live in the spirit of a just law of equality. Laws never would be improved, if there were not numerous persons whose moral sentiments are better than the existing laws. Such persons ought to support the principles here advocated; of which the only object is to make all other married couples similar to what these are now. But persons even of considerable moral worth, unless they are also thinkers, are very ready to believe that laws or practices, the evils of which they have not personally experienced, do not produce any evils, but (if seeming to be generally approved of) probably do good, and that it is wrong to object to them. It would, however, be a great mistake in such married people to suppose, because the legal conditions of the tie which unites them do not occur to their thoughts once in a twelvemonth, and because they live and feel in all respects as if they were legally equals, that the same is the case with all other married couples, wherever the husband is not a notorious ruffian. To suppose this, would be to show equal ignorance of human nature and of fact. The less fit a man is for the possession of power—the less likely to be allowed to exercise [Pg 84] it over any person with that person's voluntary consent—the more does he hug himself in the consciousness of the power the law gives him, exact its legal rights to the utmost point which custom (the custom of men like himself) will tolerate, and take pleasure in using the power, merely to enliven the agreeable sense of possessing it. What is more; in the most naturally brutal and morally uneducated part of the lower classes, the legal slavery of the woman, and something in the merely physical subjection to their will as an instrument, causes them to feel a sort of disrespect and contempt towards their own wife which they do not feel towards any other woman, or any other human being, with whom they come in contact; and which makes her seem to them an appropriate subject for any kind of indignity. Let an acute observer of the signs of feeling, who has the requisite opportunities, judge for himself whether this is not the case: and if he finds that it is, let him not wonder at any amount of disgust and indignation that can be felt against institutions which lead naturally to this depraved state of the human mind.
I openly acknowledge (and this is the core of my hopes) that many married people, even under current laws, especially in the upper classes of England, likely a vast majority, live with a sense of true equality. Laws would never improve if there weren’t many individuals whose moral values surpass existing laws. These individuals should support the principles advocated here, which aim to make all other married couples similar to what these are now. However, even people with strong moral integrity, unless they are also critical thinkers, often believe that laws or practices, the wrongs of which they haven't personally encountered, don’t cause any harm. Instead, if these laws seem widely accepted, they likely do good, and it feels wrong to criticize them. Yet, it would be a significant mistake for such married individuals to think that just because they don’t think about the legal aspects of their union even once a year, and because they live and feel as if they are legally equal, that this is true for all married couples, especially where the husband isn’t a blatant abuser. To think this way would display ignorance of human nature and reality. The less suitable a man is to hold power—the less likely he is to be granted the ability to wield it over someone with their consent—the more he revels in the power the law grants him. He will demand his legal rights to the fullest extent that the customs of men like him allow, taking pleasure in exercising that power, simply to enjoy the satisfaction of having it. Furthermore, in the most brutish and morally uneducated segments of the lower classes, the legal subjugation of women, paired with the physical domination of their will as an instrument, fosters a sense of disrespect and contempt for their own wives that they do not direct toward any other woman or human being they encounter. This treatment makes wives appear to them as appropriate targets for any form of indignity. Let a perceptive observer, with the necessary insights, assess whether this is true; and if he confirms it, he shouldn't be surprised by any amount of disgust and outrage directed at institutions that naturally lead to this degraded state of the human mind.
We shall be told, perhaps, that religion imposes the duty of obedience; as every established fact which is too bad to admit of any other defence, is always presented to us as an injunction of religion. The Church, it is very true, enjoins it [Pg 85] in her formularies, but it would be difficult to derive any such injunction from Christianity. We are told that St. Paul said, “Wives, obey your husbands:” but he also said, “Slaves, obey your masters.” It was not St. Paul's business, nor was it consistent with his object, the propagation of Christianity, to incite any one to rebellion against existing laws. The apostle's acceptance of all social institutions as he found them, is no more to be construed as a disapproval of attempts to improve them at the proper time, than his declaration, “The powers that be are ordained of God,” gives his sanction to military despotism, and to that alone, as the Christian form of political government, or commands passive obedience to it. To pretend that Christianity was intended to stereotype existing forms of government and society, and protect them against change, is to reduce it to the level of Islamism or of Brahminism. It is precisely because Christianity has not done this, that it has been the religion of the progressive portion of mankind, and Islamism, Brahminism, &c., have been those of the stationary portions; or rather (for there is no such thing as a really stationary society) of the declining portions. There have been abundance of people, in all ages of Christianity, who tried to make it something of the same kind; to convert us into a sort of Christian [Pg 86] Mussulmans, with the Bible for a Koran, prohibiting all improvement: and great has been their power, and many have had to sacrifice their lives in resisting them. But they have been resisted, and the resistance has made us what we are, and will yet make us what we are to be.
We might be told that religion requires obedience; whenever an established fact is too bad to defend in any other way, it’s often framed as a religious command. It's true that the Church instructs this in its teachings, but it's hard to find such a directive in Christianity itself. We hear that St. Paul said, “Wives, obey your husbands,” but he also said, “Slaves, obey your masters.” It wasn't St. Paul's role, nor did it align with his goal of spreading Christianity, to encourage anyone to rebel against existing laws. The apostle's acceptance of social institutions as they were shouldn't be seen as a rejection of efforts to improve them when the time is right, just as his statement, “The powers that be are ordained of God,” doesn’t mean he approves solely of military despotism as the Christian model of government, nor does it imply we should obediently accept it. To suggest that Christianity was meant to preserve the current forms of government and society and protect them from change is to lower it to the same level as Islam or Brahminism. It's exactly because Christianity hasn't done this that it has been embraced by the progressive sections of humanity, while Islam and Brahminism, etc., have been followed by more stagnant groups, or rather (since there’s no truly static society) by those in decline. Throughout the history of Christianity, many people have tried to mold it into something similar; to make us into a kind of Christian version of Muslims, with the Bible acting like the Koran, forbidding any progress. These people have held considerable power, and many have paid with their lives resisting them. But they have been resisted, and that resistance has shaped who we are and will continue to shape who we will become.
After what has been said respecting the obligation of obedience, it is almost superfluous to say anything concerning the more special point included in the general one—a woman's right to her own property; for I need not hope that this treatise can make any impression upon those who need anything to convince them that a woman's inheritance or gains ought to be as much her own after marriage as before. The rule is simple: whatever would be the husband's or wife's if they were not married, should be under their exclusive control during marriage; which need not interfere with the power to tie up property by settlement, in order to preserve it for children. Some people are sentimentally shocked at the idea of a separate interest in money matters, as inconsistent with the ideal fusion of two lives into one. For my own part, I am one of the strongest supporters of community of goods, when resulting from an entire unity of feeling in the owners, which makes all things common between them. But I have no relish for a community of goods resting on the doctrine, [Pg 87] that what is mine is yours but what is yours is not mine; and I should prefer to decline entering into such a compact with any one, though I were myself the person to profit by it.
After discussing the obligation of obedience, it seems almost unnecessary to touch on the more specific issue within that general topic—a woman's right to her own property. I don’t expect this treatise to change the minds of those who believe that a woman's inheritance or earnings should remain hers after marriage, just as they were before. The rule is straightforward: whatever would belong to the husband or wife if they weren’t married should remain solely under their control during marriage. This doesn’t have to interfere with the ability to set up property settlements to keep it for children. Some people are emotionally taken aback by the idea of having separate financial interests, seeing it as contradictory to the ideal merging of two lives into one. Personally, I strongly support the idea of community property that comes from a genuine unity of feelings between partners, making everything shared between them. However, I’m not in favor of a community of goods based on the idea that what’s mine is yours but what’s yours is not mine. I would prefer to avoid entering into such an agreement with anyone, even if I stood to benefit from it. [Pg 87]
This particular injustice and oppression to women, which is, to common apprehensions, more obvious than all the rest, admits of remedy without interfering with any other mischiefs: and there can be little doubt that it will be one of the earliest remedied. Already, in many of the new and several of the old States of the American Confederation, provisions have been inserted even in the written Constitutions, securing to women equality of rights in this respect: and thereby improving materially the position, in the marriage relation, of those women at least who have property, by leaving them one instrument of power which they have not signed away; and preventing also the scandalous abuse of the marriage institution, which is perpetrated when a man entraps a girl into marrying him without a settlement, for the sole purpose of getting possession of her money. When the support of the family depends, not on property, but on earnings, the common arrangement, by which the man earns the income and the wife superintends the domestic expenditure, seems to me in general the most suitable division of [Pg 88] labour between the two persons. If, in addition to the physical suffering of bearing children, and the whole responsibility of their care and education in early years, the wife undertakes the careful and economical application of the husband's earnings to the general comfort of the family; she takes not only her fair share, but usually the larger share, of the bodily and mental exertion required by their joint existence. If she undertakes any additional portion, it seldom relieves her from this, but only prevents her from performing it properly. The care which she is herself disabled from taking of the children and the household, nobody else takes; those of the children who do not die, grow up as they best can, and the management of the household is likely to be so bad, as even in point of economy to be a great drawback from the value of the wife's earnings. In an otherwise just state of things, it is not, therefore, I think, a desirable custom, that the wife should contribute by her labour to the income of the family. In an unjust state of things, her doing so may be useful to her, by making her of more value in the eyes of the man who is legally her master; but, on the other hand, it enables him still farther to abuse his power, by forcing her to work, and leaving the support of the family to her exertions, while he spends most of his time in drinking [Pg 89] and idleness. The power of earning is essential to the dignity of a woman, if she has not independent property. But if marriage were an equal contract, not implying the obligation of obedience; if the connexion were no longer enforced to the oppression of those to whom it is purely a mischief, but a separation, on just terms (I do not now speak of a divorce), could be obtained by any woman who was morally entitled to it; and if she would then find all honourable employments as freely open to her as to men; it would not be necessary for her protection, that during marriage she should make this particular use of her faculties. Like a man when he chooses a profession, so, when a woman marries, it may in general be understood that she makes choice of the management of a household, and the bringing up of a family, as the first call upon her exertions, during as many years of her life as may be required for the purpose; and that she renounces, not all other objects and occupations, but all which are not consistent with the requirements of this. The actual exercise, in a habitual or systematic manner, of outdoor occupations, or such as cannot be carried on at home, would by this principle be practically interdicted to the greater number of married women. But the utmost latitude ought to exist for the adaptation of [Pg 90] general rules to individual suitabilities; and there ought to be nothing to prevent faculties exceptionally adapted to any other pursuit, from obeying their vocation notwithstanding marriage: due provision being made for supplying otherwise any falling-short which might become inevitable, in her full performance of the ordinary functions of mistress of a family. These things, if once opinion were rightly directed on the subject, might with perfect safety be left to be regulated by opinion, without any interference of law. [Pg 91]
This particular injustice and oppression of women, which seems more obvious than all the rest, can be addressed without impacting other issues. It's likely to be one of the first resolved. Already, many of the new and some of the old states in the American Confederation have included provisions in their written constitutions that guarantee women equal rights in this regard. This significantly improves the position of women in marriage, at least for those who have property, by leaving them with one form of power that they haven't given up. It also helps prevent the outrageous abuse of the marriage institution, which happens when a man tricks a girl into marrying him without a settlement just to take her money. When a family's support depends on earnings rather than property, the typical arrangement—where the man earns the income and the wife manages household spending—seems to be the most suitable division of labor between the two individuals. If, in addition to the physical challenges of childbirth and being solely responsible for the care and early education of their children, the wife also carefully and effectively manages the husband’s earnings for the family’s comfort, she takes on not just her fair share but usually a larger share of the physical and mental effort involved in their shared life. If she takes on any extra responsibilities, it rarely lightens her load but only prevents her from doing her tasks properly. The care that she is unable to provide for the children and household is not taken on by anyone else; those children who survive grow up as best as they can, and household management is often so poor that even in terms of finances, it greatly undermines the value of the wife's earnings. In a more just society, it is not, therefore, a desirable expectation that the wife should contribute to the family's income through her labor. In an unjust society, her contribution may benefit her by increasing her perceived value to the man who is her legal master; however, it also allows him to further misuse his power by forcing her to work and depending on her to sustain the family while he spends most of his time drinking and being idle. The ability to earn is vital to a woman’s dignity, especially if she doesn’t have independent property. But if marriage were an equal partnership without the obligation of obedience; if the relationship were not enforced to oppress those for whom it brings only harm, and if a woman could separate on just terms (not referring to divorce) when morally entitled to do so; and if she found all respectable jobs as open to her as they are to men; then it wouldn’t be necessary for her own protection to utilize her abilities in this specific way while married. Just as a man chooses a profession, a woman may be understood to choose managing a household and raising a family as her main focus during the years needed for that purpose; and she would not have to give up all other interests and activities, just those that conflict with those responsibilities. The regular practice of outdoor jobs or those that can't be done at home would essentially be off-limits for most married women under this principle. However, there should be considerable flexibility to tailor general rules to individual needs; and there should be nothing preventing special talents suited for another pursuit from following their inclination, regardless of marriage, provided that adequate measures are in place to cover any shortcomings that may arise in her fulfilling the usual duties of a family manager. If public opinion were properly informed on this issue, these matters could be safely regulated by societal standards without any legal interference.
CHAPTER III.
On the other point which is involved in the just equality of women, their admissibility to all the functions and occupations hitherto retained as the monopoly of the stronger sex, I should anticipate no difficulty in convincing any one who has gone with me on the subject of the equality of women in the family. I believe that their disabilities elsewhere are only clung to in order to maintain their subordination in domestic life; because the generality of the male sex cannot yet tolerate the idea of living with an equal. Were it not for that, I think that almost every one, in the existing state of opinion in politics and political economy, would admit the injustice of excluding half the human race from the greater number of lucrative occupations, and from almost all high social functions; ordaining from their birth either that they are not, and cannot by any possibility become, fit for employments which are legally open to the stupidest and basest of the other sex, or else that however fit they may be, those employments shall [Pg 92] be interdicted to them, in order to be preserved for the exclusive benefit of males. In the last two centuries, when (which was seldom the case) any reason beyond the mere existence of the fact was thought to be required to justify the disabilities of women, people seldom assigned as a reason their inferior mental capacity; which, in times when there was a real trial of personal faculties (from which all women were not excluded) in the struggles of public life, no one really believed in. The reason given in those days was not women's unfitness, but the interest of society, by which was meant the interest of men: just as the raison d'état, meaning the convenience of the government, and the support of existing authority, was deemed a sufficient explanation and excuse for the most flagitious crimes. In the present day, power holds a smoother language, and whomsoever it oppresses, always pretends to do so for their own good: accordingly, when anything is forbidden to women, it is thought necessary to say, and desirable to believe, that they are incapable of doing it, and that they depart from their real path of success and happiness when they aspire to it. But to make this reason plausible (I do not say valid), those by whom it is urged must be prepared to carry it to a much greater length than any one ventures to do in the face of present experience. It is not sufficient to maintain that women on [Pg 93] the average are less gifted than men on the average, with certain of the higher mental faculties, or that a smaller number of women than of men are fit for occupations and functions of the highest intellectual character. It is necessary to maintain that no women at all are fit for them, and that the most eminent women are inferior in mental faculties to the most mediocre of the men on whom those functions at present devolve. For if the performance of the function is decided either by competition, or by any mode of choice which secures regard to the public interest, there needs be no apprehension that any important employments will fall into the hands of women inferior to average men, or to the average of their male competitors. The only result would be that there would be fewer women than men in such employments; a result certain to happen in any ease, if only from the preference always likely to be felt by the majority of women for the one vocation in which there is nobody to compete with them. Now, the most determined depreciator of women will not venture to deny, that when we add the experience of recent times to that of ages past, women, and not a few merely, but many women, have proved themselves capable of everything, perhaps without a single exception, which is done by men, and of doing it successfully and creditably. The utmost that can be [Pg 94] said is, that there are many things which none of them have succeeded in doing as well as they have been done by some men—many in which they have not reached the very highest rank. But there are extremely few, dependent only on mental faculties, in which they have not attained the rank next to the highest. Is not this enough, and much more than enough, to make it a tyranny to them, and a detriment to society, that they should not be allowed to compete with men for the exercise of these functions? Is it not a mere truism to say, that such functions are often filled by men far less fit for them than numbers of women, and who would be beaten by women in any fair field of competition? What difference does it make that there may be men somewhere, fully employed about other things, who may be still better qualified for the things in question than these women? Does not this take place in all competitions? Is there so great a superfluity of men fit for high duties, that society can afford to reject the service of any competent person? Are we so certain of always finding a man made to our hands for any duty or function of social importance which falls vacant, that we lose nothing by putting a ban upon one-half of mankind, and refusing beforehand to make their faculties available, however distinguished they may be? And even if we could do without [Pg 95] them, would it be consistent with justice to refuse to them their fair share of honour and distinction, or to deny to them the equal moral right of all human beings to choose their occupation (short of injury to others) according to their own preferences, at their own risk? Nor is the injustice confined to them: it is shared by those who are in a position to benefit by their services. To ordain that any kind of persons shall not be physicians, or shall not be advocates, or shall not be members of parliament, is to injure not them only, but all who employ physicians or advocates, or elect members of parliament, and who are deprived of the stimulating effect of greater competition on the exertions of the competitors, as well as restricted to a narrower range of individual choice.
On the other point regarding the equal rights of women, their eligibility for all roles and jobs that have been dominated by men, I don’t expect any trouble convincing anyone who's with me on the issue of women's equality in the family. I believe that their limitations in other areas are only upheld to maintain their lower status in domestic life because many men still struggle with the idea of living alongside equals. If it weren't for that, I think almost everyone, considering current opinions in politics and political economy, would recognize the unfairness of excluding half the human race from most well-paying jobs and nearly all prestigious social roles. They are deemed at birth either unable to succeed or unable to ever be qualified for jobs that are legally open to the most incompetent men, or else, even if they are qualified, those jobs are barred from them to benefit men exclusively. In the last two centuries, when (which was rarely the case) a reason beyond just the existence of the fact was needed to justify women's limitations, few argued it was due to their lesser intelligence; rather, it was understood that during public life, where not all women were excluded, no one really believed this claim. The rationale given back then wasn't about women's unfitness, but rather about the interests of society, which meant the interests of men: just as the political excuse of maintaining state interest was considered a valid defense for the most outrageous crimes. Today, power uses more refined language, and whoever it oppresses claims to do so for the oppressed's own good. Therefore, when something is off-limits to women, it’s necessary to claim and believe that they are incapable of it and that they stray from their true path to success and happiness when they strive for it. However, to make this reasoning believable (I don’t say valid), those advancing it must extend their argument much further than anyone dares to in light of current experiences. It’s not enough to argue that women, on average, are less capable than men in certain advanced mental skills, or that fewer women are qualified for high-level jobs compared to men. One would need to assert that no women are qualified for these jobs and that even the most exceptional women are inferior in ability to the most ordinary men currently occupying these roles. Because if a position is determined by competition or any selection process that prioritizes public interest, there’s no need to worry that important jobs will go to women who are less competent than average men or their male counterparts. The expected outcome would simply be that fewer women than men occupy these roles; this would happen regardless, considering the tendency of the majority of women to prefer the one area where there is no competition. Now, not even the most vocal critic of women can deny that when we combine recent experiences with historical ones, women—not just a few, but many—have shown themselves capable of everything men do, perhaps without any exceptions, and have done so successfully and honorably. The best that can be said is that there are many areas where women haven't performed as well as some men, and many where they haven't reached the very top. But there are very few, determined only by mental skills, where they haven’t achieved a rank just below the highest. Isn’t this more than enough to make it a tyranny against them and harmful to society that they are not allowed to compete with men for these roles? Isn't it just a given that such positions are often filled by men who are far less suited than many women, and who would be outperformed by women in any fair competition? What does it matter that some men may be busy with other tasks and may be better qualified for these roles than these women? Doesn’t this happen in all competitions? Is there such a huge surplus of men qualified for important roles that society can afford to dismiss the services of any capable individual? Are we so certain of always finding a suitable man for any duty or function of social importance that becomes available that we lose nothing by excluding half of humanity and refusing to utilize their abilities, no matter how exceptional they may be? And even if we could manage without them, would it be fair to deny them their rightful share of respect and recognition, or to deny them the equal moral right of all humans to choose their occupations (as long as they don't harm others) based on their own preferences and at their own risk? The injustice doesn't stop with them; it extends to those who could benefit from their skills. To declare that a certain kind of people cannot be doctors, or cannot be lawyers, or cannot be members of parliament, harms not just them, but everyone who needs a doctor or lawyer, or who elects parliament members, and who is deprived of the benefits of greater competition among the candidates, as well as limited to a narrower selection of options.
It will perhaps be sufficient if I confine myself, in the details of my argument, to functions of a public nature: since, if I am successful as to those, it probably will be readily granted that women should be admissible to all other occupations to which it is at all material whether they are admitted or not. And here let me begin by marking out one function, broadly distinguished from all others, their right to which is entirely independent of any question which can be raised concerning their faculties. I mean the suffrage, both parliamentary and municipal. The [Pg 96] right to share in the choice of those who are to exercise a public trust, is altogether a distinct thing from that of competing for the trust itself. If no one could vote for a member of parliament who was not fit to be a candidate, the government would be a narrow oligarchy indeed. To have a voice in choosing those by whom one is to be governed, is a means of self-protection due to every one, though he were to remain for ever excluded from the function of governing: and that women are considered fit to have such a choice, may be presumed from the fact, that the law already gives it to women in the most important of all cases to themselves: for the choice of the man who is to govern a woman to the end of life, is always supposed to be voluntarily made by herself. In the case of election to public trusts, it is the business of constitutional law to surround the right of suffrage with all needful securities and limitations; but whatever securities are sufficient in the case of the male sex, no others need be required in the case of women. Under whatever conditions, and within whatever limits, men are admitted to the suffrage, there is not a shadow of justification for not admitting women under the same. The majority of the women of any class are not likely to differ in political opinion from the majority of the men of the same class, unless [Pg 97] the question be one in which the interests of women, as such, are in some way involved; and if they are so, women require the suffrage, as their guarantee of just and equal consideration. This ought to be obvious even to those who coincide in no other of the doctrines for which I contend. Even if every woman were a wife, and if every wife ought to be a slave, all the more would these slaves stand in need of legal protection: and we know what legal protection the slaves have, where the laws are made by their masters.
It might be enough if I focus, in the details of my argument, on public functions: because if I succeed with those, it will probably be easily accepted that women should be allowed in all other jobs where it matters whether they are accepted or not. Let me start by highlighting one function, clearly different from all others, that they have the right to without any questions about their abilities. I mean the right to vote, both in parliament and locally. The right to participate in choosing those who will hold public office is completely separate from competing for the office itself. If no one could vote for a parliamentary member who wasn't qualified to be a candidate, the government would truly be a limited oligarchy. Having a say in selecting those who govern you is a basic form of self-protection, even if one is forever excluded from the role of governing: and the fact that women are seen as fit to make this choice is shown by the law already granting it to them in the most essential case: the choice of the partner who will govern a woman's life is always assumed to be made by her voluntarily. In the case of elections for public office, constitutional law should provide necessary safeguards and limitations on the right to vote; however, whatever safeguards are sufficient for men should also apply to women. Under whatever conditions and limits men are allowed to vote, there is no valid reason not to allow women the same. The majority of women in any social class are unlikely to have different political views from the majority of men in the same class, unless the issue directly relates to women’s interests; and if that’s the case, women need the vote as their guarantee of fair and equal treatment. This should be clear even to those who disagree with me on other points. Even if every woman were a wife, and if every wife was supposed to be submissive, these women would still need legal protection even more: and we know what legal protections slaves receive where their masters make the laws.
With regard to the fitness of women, not only to participate in elections, but themselves to hold offices or practise professions involving important public responsibilities; I have already observed that this consideration is not essential to the practical question in dispute: since any woman, who succeeds in an open profession, proves by that very fact that she is qualified for it. And in the case of public offices, if the political system of the country is such as to exclude unfit men, it will equally exclude unfit women: while if it is not, there is no additional evil in the fact that the unfit persons whom it admits may be either women or men. As long therefore as it is acknowledged that even a few women may be fit for these duties, the laws which shut the door on those exceptions cannot be justified by any opinion which can be held respecting the [Pg 98] capacities of women in general. But, though this last consideration is not essential, it is far from being irrelevant. An unprejudiced view of it gives additional strength to the arguments against the disabilities of women, and reinforces them by high considerations of practical utility.
When it comes to the ability of women not only to vote but also to hold office or have professions that involve significant public responsibilities, I've noted that this issue isn't crucial to the practical debate at hand: because any woman who succeeds in an open profession demonstrates that she is qualified for it. In terms of public offices, if the political system of the country is designed to exclude unqualified men, it will also exclude unqualified women; conversely, if it doesn’t, there isn't any extra harm in the fact that the unqualified individuals it lets in can be either women or men. Therefore, as long as it’s accepted that even a few women may be capable of these responsibilities, the laws that prevent those exceptional cases can't be justified by any belief about the abilities of women as a whole. However, while this last point isn't essential, it's definitely not irrelevant. An unbiased perspective on it strengthens the arguments against discrimination toward women and supports them with important considerations of practical benefits. [Pg 98]
Let us at first make entire abstraction of all psychological considerations tending to show, that any of the mental differences supposed to exist between women and men are but the natural effect of the differences in their education and circumstances, and indicate no radical difference, far less radical inferiority, of nature. Let us consider women only as they already are, or as they are known to have been; and the capacities which they have already practically shown. What they have done, that at least, if nothing else, it is proved that they can do. When we consider how sedulously they are all trained away from, instead of being trained towards, any of the occupations or objects reserved for men, it is evident that I am taking a very humble ground for them, when I rest their case on what they have actually achieved. For, in this case, negative evidence is worth little, while any positive evidence is conclusive. It cannot be inferred to be impossible that a woman should be a Homer, or an Aristotle, or a Michael Angelo, or a Beethoven, because no woman has yet actually produced [Pg 99] works comparable to theirs in any of those lines of excellence. This negative fact at most leaves the question uncertain, and open to psychological discussion. But it is quite certain that a woman can be a Queen Elizabeth, or a Deborah, or a Joan of Arc, since this is not inference, but fact. Now it is a curious consideration, that the only things which the existing law excludes women from doing, are the things which they have proved that they are able to do. There is no law to prevent a woman from having written all the plays of Shakspeare, or composed all the operas of Mozart. But Queen Elizabeth or Queen Victoria, had they not inherited the throne, could not have been intrusted with the smallest of the political duties, of which the former showed herself equal to the greatest.
Let’s first completely set aside any psychological arguments suggesting that the mental differences thought to exist between women and men are merely the result of their education and circumstances, and do not indicate any inherent difference, let alone a fundamental inferiority, in nature. Let’s look at women only as they currently are, or as they are known to have been, and the abilities they have already demonstrated. What they have accomplished proves at least one thing: they are capable. When we think about how diligently they are trained away from, rather than toward, any of the roles or pursuits reserved for men, it’s clear that I’m adopting a very modest stance for them by basing their case on what they have actually done. In this context, negative evidence holds little value, while any positive evidence is definitive. It cannot be assumed that a woman could not be a Homer, an Aristotle, a Michelangelo, or a Beethoven just because no woman has yet produced works comparable to theirs in those fields of excellence. This negative fact only leaves the question uncertain and open for psychological debate. However, it’s quite clear that a woman can be a Queen Elizabeth, a Deborah, or a Joan of Arc, since this is a matter of fact, not inference. Interestingly, the only things that current law prevents women from doing are those things they have shown they can do. There is no law stopping a woman from having written all of Shakespeare's plays or composed all of Mozart's operas. Yet, Queen Elizabeth or Queen Victoria, if they hadn’t inherited the throne, would not have been entrusted with even the smallest political duties, despite the fact that the former proved herself capable of the greatest.
If anything conclusive could be inferred from experience, without psychological analysis, it would be that the things which women are not allowed to do are the very ones for which they are peculiarly qualified; since their vocation for government has made its way, and become conspicuous, through the very few opportunities which have been given; while in the lines of distinction which apparently were freely open to them, they have by no means so eminently distinguished themselves. We know how small a number of reigning queens history presents, in [Pg 100] comparison with that of kings. Of this smaller number a far larger proportion have shown talents for rule; though many of them have occupied the throne in difficult periods. It is remarkable, too, that they have, in a great number of instances, been distinguished by merits the most opposite to the imaginary and conventional character of women: they have been as much remarked for the firmness and vigour of their rule, as for its intelligence. When, to queens and empresses, we add regents, and viceroys of provinces, the list of women who have been eminent rulers of mankind swells to a great length.[1] This fact is so undeniable, that some one, long ago, tried to retort the argument, and turned the admitted truth into an additional insult, by saying that queens are better than [Pg 101] kings, because under kings women govern, but under queens, men.
If we could draw any conclusions from experience, without getting into psychological analysis, it would be that the things women are typically not allowed to do are actually the ones they are most skilled at. Their ability to govern has become apparent despite the few chances they've had; meanwhile, in the areas that seemed to be open to them, they haven't stood out as much. We see how few reigning queens are recorded in history compared to kings. Among this smaller group, a significantly higher number have demonstrated leadership skills, despite many of them ruling during challenging times. It's also notable that in many cases, they have excelled in ways that contradict the typical and societal views of women: they have been recognized for their strong and effective leadership just as much as for their intelligence. When we include queens and empresses along with regents and viceroys of provinces, the list of women who have been notable leaders expands greatly. This fact is so undeniable that someone, long ago, tried to turn the argument around and made the obvious truth into an additional insult by saying that queens are better than kings because under kings, women govern, but under queens, men do.
It may seem a waste of reasoning to argue against a bad joke; but such things do affect people's minds; and I have heard men quote this saying, with an air as if they thought that there was something in it. At any rate, it will serve as well as anything else for a starting point in discussion. I say, then, that it is not true that under kings, women govern. Such cases are entirely exceptional: and weak kings have quite as often governed ill through the influence of male favourites, as of female. When a king is governed by a woman merely through his amatory propensities, good government is not probable, though even then there are exceptions. But French history counts two kings who have voluntarily given the direction of affairs during many years, the one to his mother, the other to his sister: one of them, Charles VIII., was a mere boy, but in doing so he followed the intentions of his father Louis XI., the ablest monarch of his age. The other, Saint Louis, was the best, and one of the most vigorous rulers, since the time of Charlemagne. Both these princesses ruled in a manner hardly equalled by any prince among their contemporaries. The emperor Charles the Fifth, the most politic prince of his time, who had as great a number of able men in [Pg 102] his service as a ruler ever had, and was one of the least likely of all sovereigns to sacrifice his interest to personal feelings, made two princesses of his family successively Governors of the Netherlands, and kept one or other of them in that post during his whole life, (they were afterwards succeeded by a third). Both ruled very successfully, and one of them, Margaret of Austria, was one of the ablest politicians of the age. So much for one side of the question. Now as to the other. When it is said that under queens men govern, is the same meaning to be understood as when kings are said to be governed by women? Is it meant that queens choose as their instruments of government, the associates of their personal pleasures? The case is rare even with those who are as unscrupulous on the latter point as Catherine II.: and it is not in these cases that the good government, alleged to arise from male influence, is to be found. If it be true, then, that the administration is in the hands of better men under a queen than under an average king, it must be that queens have a superior capacity for choosing them; and women must be better qualified than men both for the position of sovereign, and for that of chief minister; for the principal business of a prime minister is not to govern in person, but to find the fittest persons to conduct every department of public affairs. [Pg 103] The more rapid insight into character, which is one of the admitted points of superiority in women over men, must certainly make them, with anything like parity of qualifications in other respects, more apt than men in that choice of instruments, which is nearly the most important business of every one who has to do with governing mankind. Even the unprincipled Catherine de' Medici could feel the value of a Chancellor de l'Hôpital. But it is also true that most great queens have been great by their own talents for government, and have been well served precisely for that reason. They retained the supreme direction of affairs in their own hands: and if they listened to good advisers, they gave by that fact the strongest proof that their judgment fitted them for dealing with the great questions of government.
It might seem pointless to argue against a bad joke, but these kinds of things do shape people's thoughts. I've heard men quote this saying with an attitude as if they believed it held some truth. At the very least, it provides a decent starting point for discussion. So, I argue that it's not accurate to say women govern when kings are in power. Such situations are quite rare, and weak kings often misgovern due to the influence of male favorites just as much as females. When a king is swayed by a woman solely because of his romantic interests, good governance is unlikely, although there are exceptions even then. However, French history has two kings who willingly handed control of affairs to their mothers for many years: one was Charles VIII, who was just a boy but did so in line with his father Louis XI’s intentions, the most capable monarch of his time. The other was Saint Louis, one of the most effective rulers since Charlemagne. Both these queens managed affairs in a way that few princes of their time could match. The emperor Charles the Fifth, known for his political skill and surrounded by many capable men, appointed two princesses from his family as Governors of the Netherlands and kept one of them in that role throughout his life (they were later succeeded by a third). Both ruled very successfully, and one of them, Margaret of Austria, was among the most skilled politicians of her era. That covers one side of the argument. Now, regarding the other side: when we say men govern under queens, do we mean the same thing as when kings are said to be governed by women? Is it implied that queens choose their governing partners based on personal pleasure? Such situations are rare, even among those as unprincipled as Catherine II., and it is not in these instances that the good governance supposedly from male influence can be found. If it’s true that the administration under a queen is run by better men than under an average king, then queens must have a superior ability to select them, and women must be better suited than men for both the role of sovereign and the position of chief minister. The main job of a prime minister is not to govern directly but to find the right people to manage every area of public affairs. The quicker insight into character, which is often seen as a strength of women over men, should indeed make them more capable of choosing the right instruments for governance, given similar qualifications in other areas. Even the cunning Catherine de' Medici recognized the value of a Chancellor de l'Hôpital. However, it’s also true that most great queens have been remarkable for their own governing talents and have been well served for that very reason. They kept the ultimate control of affairs in their own hands, and if they listened to wise advisors, that alone proved their judgment was suitable for handling significant government issues.
Is it reasonable to think that those who are fit for the greater functions of politics, are incapable of qualifying themselves for the less? Is there any reason in the nature of things, that the wives and sisters of princes should, whenever called on, be found as competent as the princes themselves to their business, but that the wives and sisters of statesmen, and administrators, and directors of companies, and managers of public institutions, should be unable to do what is done by their brothers and husbands? The real [Pg 104] reason is plain enough; it is that princesses, being more raised above the generality of men by their rank than placed below them by their sex, have never been taught that it was improper for them to concern themselves with politics; but have been allowed to feel the liberal interest natural to any cultivated human being, in the great transactions which took place around them, and in which they might be called on to take a part. The ladies of reigning families are the only women who are allowed the same range of interests and freedom of development as men; and it is precisely in their case that there is not found to be any inferiority. Exactly where and in proportion as women's capacities for government have been tried, in that proportion have they been found adequate.
Is it reasonable to think that those who are capable of handling the more significant roles in politics are unable to prepare themselves for the less important ones? Is there any inherent reason that the wives and sisters of princes should always seem as competent as the princes themselves in their business, while the wives and sisters of statesmen, administrators, company directors, and public institution managers should be unable to do what their brothers and husbands do? The real reason is pretty clear: princesses, being elevated above most men because of their status rather than being lowered by their gender, have never been taught that it was inappropriate for them to get involved in politics. They have been allowed to feel a natural, educated interest in the important events happening around them and in which they might be called to participate. The women of royal families are the only ones who enjoy the same range of interests and freedom to grow as men do; and it is precisely in their case that no inferiority is found. Where and to the extent that women's abilities in governance have been tested, they have proven to be adequate.
This fact is in accordance with the best general conclusions which the world's imperfect experience seems as yet to suggest, concerning the peculiar tendencies and aptitudes characteristic of women, as women have hitherto been. I do not say, as they will continue to be; for, as I have already said more than once, I consider it presumption in any one to pretend to decide what women are or are not, can or cannot be, by natural constitution. They have always hitherto been kept, as far as regards spontaneous development, in so unnatural a state, that their nature [Pg 105] cannot but have been greatly distorted and disguised; and no one can safely pronounce that if women's nature were left to choose its direction as freely as men's, and if no artificial bent were attempted to be given to it except that required by the conditions of human society, and given to both sexes alike, there would be any material difference, or perhaps any difference at all, in the character and capacities which would unfold themselves. I shall presently show, that even the least contestable of the differences which now exist, are such as may very well have been produced merely by circumstances, without any difference of natural capacity. But, looking at women as they are known in experience, it may be said of them, with more truth than belongs to most other generalizations on the subject, that the general bent of their talents is towards the practical. This statement is conformable to all the public history of women, in the present and the past. It is no less borne out by common and daily experience. Let us consider the special nature of the mental capacities most characteristic of a woman of talent. They are all of a kind which fits them for practice, and makes them tend towards it. What is meant by a woman's capacity of intuitive perception? It means, a rapid and correct insight into present fact. It has nothing to do with general principles. [Pg 106] Nobody ever perceived a scientific law of nature by intuition, nor arrived at a general rule of duty or prudence by it. These are results of slow and careful collection and comparison of experience; and neither the men nor the women of intuition usually shine in this department, unless, indeed, the experience necessary is such as they can acquire by themselves. For what is called their intuitive sagacity makes them peculiarly apt in gathering such general truths as can be collected from their individual means of observation. When, consequently, they chance to be as well provided as men are with the results of other people's experience, by reading and education, (I use the word chance advisedly, for, in respect to the knowledge that tends to fit them for the greater concerns of life, the only educated women are the self-educated) they are better furnished than men in general with the essential requisites of skilful and successful practice. Men who have been much taught, are apt to be deficient in the sense of present fact; they do not see, in the facts which they are called upon to deal with, what is really there, but what they have been taught to expect. This is seldom the case with women of any ability. Their capacity of “intuition” preserves them from it. With equality of experience and of general faculties, a woman [Pg 107] usually sees much more than a man of what is immediately before her. Now this sensibility to the present, is the main quality on which the capacity for practice, as distinguished from theory, depends. To discover general principles, belongs to the speculative faculty: to discern and discriminate the particular cases in which they are and are not applicable, constitutes practical talent: and for this, women as they now are have a peculiar aptitude. I admit that there can be no good practice without principles, and that the predominant place which quickness of observation holds among a woman's faculties, makes her particularly apt to build over-hasty generalizations upon her own observation; though at the same time no less ready in rectifying those generalizations, as her observation takes a wider range. But the corrective to this defect, is access to the experience of the human race; general knowledge—exactly the thing which education can best supply. A woman's mistakes are specifically those of a clever self-educated man, who often sees what men trained in routine do not see, but falls into errors for want of knowing things which have long been known. Of course he has acquired much of the pre-existing knowledge, or he could not have got on at all; but what he knows of it he has picked up in fragments and at random, as women do. [Pg 108]
This fact aligns with the best general conclusions suggested by the world's imperfect experiences regarding the unique tendencies and abilities characteristic of women, as they have been up to now. I’m not saying this is how they will always be; because, as I’ve mentioned before, I think it's arrogant for anyone to claim to know what women are or aren’t, or what they can or can’t be, by their natural design. They have always been kept in such an unnatural state regarding their spontaneous development that their nature [Pg 105] has undoubtedly been greatly distorted and concealed; and no one can confidently say that if women's nature were allowed to choose its path as freely as men’s, and if no artificial influence were applied to it except what is necessary for human society and applied equally to both genders, there would be any significant difference, or perhaps any difference at all, in the character and abilities that would emerge. I will soon show that even the least debatable of the differences that currently exist could have easily been created just by circumstances, without any difference in natural capability. However, if we look at women as they are known from experience, we can say with more truth than most other generalizations on the topic, that their talents generally lean towards the practical. This idea is consistent with all public history of women, both in the past and present. It's also supported by common daily experiences. Let us examine the specific nature of the mental skills most typical of a talented woman. They are all types that prepare them for practical application, guiding them toward it. What does it mean when we talk about a woman’s capacity for intuitive perception? It refers to a quick and accurate understanding of present facts. It has nothing to do with general principles. [Pg 106] No one ever intuitively grasped a scientific law of nature or arrived at a general rule of duty or prudence through intuition. These outcomes come from slow and careful collection and comparison of experiences; neither men nor women known for their intuition typically excel in this area, unless the necessary experiences are ones they can acquire themselves. Their so-called intuitive insight often makes them particularly skilled at gathering general truths from their personal observations. When they find themselves as well-informed as men through reading and education (I say 'find' deliberately because, regarding the knowledge that prepares them for the larger challenges of life, the only educated women are those who educate themselves), they are better equipped than men in general with the essential tools for skilled and successful practice. Men who have been heavily educated often lack the awareness of present facts; they tend to see, in the facts they need to handle, not what actually exists, but what they expect based on what they’ve been taught. This is rarely an issue for capable women. Their skill in “intuition” protects them from it. When experience and general faculties are equal, a woman usually perceives much more than a man of what is right in front of her. This sensitivity to the present is the key quality underlying practical ability, as opposed to theoretical understanding. Discovering general principles is the role of the speculative mind; distinguishing the specific cases in which they apply or don’t applies constitutes practical talent: and for this, women as they currently are have a unique aptitude. I acknowledge that there can be no effective practice without principles, and that the prominent role of keen observation among a woman’s skills might make her particularly prone to forming hasty generalizations based on her own observations; yet she is equally quick to correct those generalizations as her observations broaden. However, the remedy for this flaw is access to the collective experience of humanity; general knowledge — exactly what education can best provide. A woman’s mistakes are specifically those of a clever self-educated man, who often notices what men trained through routine overlook, but makes errors due to a lack of knowledge about things that have been long established. Of course, he has learned much of the existing knowledge, or he wouldn’t have gotten anywhere; but what he knows of it, he has pieced together in bits and at random, just like women do. [Pg 108]
But this gravitation of women's minds to the present, to the real, to actual fact, while in its exclusiveness it is a source of errors, is also a most useful counteractive of the contrary error. The principal and most characteristic aberration of speculative minds as such, consists precisely in the deficiency of this lively perception and ever-present sense of objective fact. For want of this, they often not only overlook the contradiction which outward facts oppose to their theories, but lose sight of the legitimate purpose of speculation altogether, and let their speculative faculties go astray into regions not peopled with real beings, animate or inanimate, even idealized, but with personified shadows created by the illusions of metaphysics or by the mere entanglement of words, and think these shadows the proper objects of the highest, the most transcendant, philosophy. Hardly anything can be of greater value to a man of theory and speculation who employs himself not in collecting materials of knowledge by observation, but in working them up by processes of thought into comprehensive truths of science and laws of conduct, than to carry on his speculations in the companionship, and under the criticism, of a really superior woman. There is nothing comparable to it for keeping his thoughts within the limits of real things, and the actual facts of nature. [Pg 109] A woman seldom runs wild after an abstraction. The habitual direction of her mind to dealing with things as individuals rather than in groups, and (what is closely connected with it) her more lively interest in the present feelings of persons, which makes her consider first of all, in anything which claims to be applied to practice, in what manner persons will be affected by it—these two things make her extremely unlikely to put faith in any speculation which loses sight of individuals, and deals with things as if they existed for the benefit of some imaginary entity, some mere creation of the mind, not resolvable into the feelings of living beings. Women's thoughts are thus as useful in giving reality to those of thinking men, as men's thoughts in giving width and largeness to those of women. In depth, as distinguished from breadth, I greatly doubt if even now, women, compared with men, are at any disadvantage.
But the way women focus on the present, the real, and actual facts, while it can lead to some mistakes due to its narrowness, is also a valuable counterbalance to the opposite error. The main issue with speculative minds is that they often lack a strong perception of objective reality. Because of this, they frequently ignore the contradictions that real-life facts pose to their theories, and they can lose sight of the true purpose of speculation altogether. Their speculative thinking can drift into areas that aren’t filled with real beings, whether they are living or non-living, even if they are idealized, but instead become populated with personified shadows created by metaphysical illusions or simply tangled words, mistakenly believing these shadows are the main focus of the highest philosophy. There's hardly anything more valuable for a theorist and speculator who is not gathering knowledge through observation but rather transforming it into comprehensive truths of science and ethical guidelines than to engage in speculation alongside a truly superior woman who provides critique. There’s nothing quite like it to keep his thoughts grounded in real experiences and the actual facts of nature. A woman rarely chases after an abstraction. Her tendency to engage with things as individuals rather than as groups, along with her stronger interest in the present feelings of people, leads her to first consider how individuals will be affected by anything intended for practical use. These two aspects make it very unlikely for her to trust any speculation that overlooks individuals and treats matters as if they exist solely for the benefit of some imaginary idea, a mere product of the mind, not reducible to the feelings of living beings. Women's thoughts provide essential reality to the ideas of men, just as men's thoughts contribute depth and breadth to women's ideas. In terms of depth, as opposed to breadth, I seriously doubt that women are at any disadvantage compared to men even now. [Pg 109]
If the existing mental characteristics of women are thus valuable even in aid of speculation, they are still more important, when speculation has done its work, for carrying out the results of speculation into practice. For the reasons already given, women are comparatively unlikely to fall into the common error of men, that of sticking to their rules in a case whose specialities either take it out of the class to which the rules are [Pg 110] applicable, or require a special adaptation of them. Let us now consider another of the admitted superiorities of clever women, greater quickness of apprehension. Is not this pre-eminently a quality which fits a person for practice? In action, everything continually depends upon deciding promptly. In speculation, nothing does. A mere thinker can wait, can take time to consider, can collect additional evidence; he is not obliged to complete his philosophy at once, lest the opportunity should go by. The power of drawing the best conclusion possible from insufficient data is not indeed useless in philosophy; the construction of a provisional hypothesis consistent with all known facts is often the needful basis for further inquiry. But this faculty is rather serviceable in philosophy, than the main qualification for it: and, for the auxiliary as well as for the main operation, the philosopher can allow himself any time he pleases. He is in no need of the capacity of doing rapidly what he does; what he rather needs is patience, to work on slowly until imperfect lights have become perfect, and a conjecture has ripened into a theorem. For those, on the contrary, whose business is with the fugitive and perishable—with individual facts, not kinds of facts—rapidity of thought is a qualification next only in importance to the power of thought itself. [Pg 111] He who has not his faculties under immediate command, in the contingencies of action, might as well not have them at all. He may be fit to criticize, but he is not fit to act. Now it is in this that women, and the men who are most like women, confessedly excel. The other sort of man, however pre-eminent may be his faculties, arrives slowly at complete command of them: rapidity of judgment and promptitude of judicious action, even in the things he knows best, are the gradual and late result of strenuous effort grown into habit.
If women's existing mental traits are valuable for speculation, they are even more crucial when it comes to putting those speculations into practice. As mentioned earlier, women are less likely than men to fall into the common mistake of rigidly adhering to rules in situations that don't quite fit those categories or require special adjustments. Now, let's look at another acknowledged advantage of intelligent women: their quicker understanding. Isn’t this a quality that makes someone well-suited for action? In practice, everything relies on making quick decisions. In speculation, it doesn’t. A thinker can wait, take time to ponder, and gather more evidence; they aren’t pressured to finish their thoughts immediately for fear of missing an opportunity. The ability to draw the best conclusions from limited information is useful in philosophy, as creating a provisional hypothesis that aligns with known facts often serves as a useful foundation for further investigation. However, this skill is more helpful in philosophy than essential to it; both in the main and secondary tasks, a philosopher can take as much time as they need. They don’t require the ability to act quickly; instead, they need the patience to work gradually until vague insights become clear, and a hypothesis develops into a theorem. On the other hand, for those dealing with fleeting, individual facts rather than categories of facts, quick thinking is almost as important as the ability to think itself. If someone can’t have their faculties ready for immediate use during action, it's almost as if they don’t have them at all. They might be capable of critique but not of action. This is where women, and men who share qualities with women, genuinely excel. In contrast, men who are different, regardless of how exceptional their abilities may be, take longer to gain complete control over them: quick judgment and timely, wise action, even in familiar tasks, are typically the slow and deliberate outcomes of hard work becoming habit.
It will be said, perhaps, that the greater nervous susceptibility of women is a disqualification for practice, in anything but domestic life, by rendering them mobile, changeable, too vehemently under the influence of the moment, incapable of dogged perseverance, unequal and uncertain in the power of using their faculties. I think that these phrases sum up the greater part of the objections commonly made to the fitness of women for the higher class of serious business. Much of all this is the mere overflow of nervous energy run to waste, and would cease when the energy was directed to a definite end. Much is also the result of conscious or unconscious cultivation; as we see by the almost total disappearance of “hysterics” and fainting fits, since they have gone out of fashion. Moreover, [Pg 112] when people are brought up, like many women of the higher classes (though less so in our own country than in any other) a kind of hot-house plants, shielded from the wholesome vicissitudes of air and temperature, and untrained in any of the occupations and exercises which give stimulus and development to the circulatory and muscular system, while their nervous system, especially in its emotional department, is kept in unnaturally active play; it is no wonder if those of them who do not die of consumption, grow up with constitutions liable to derangement from slight causes, both internal and external, and without stamina to support any task, physical or mental, requiring continuity of effort. But women brought up to work for their livelihood show none of these morbid characteristics, unless indeed they are chained to an excess of sedentary work in confined and unhealthy rooms. Women who in their early years have shared in the healthful physical education and bodily freedom of their brothers, and who obtain a sufficiency of pure air and exercise in after-life, very rarely have any excessive susceptibility of nerves which can disqualify them for active pursuits. There is indeed a certain proportion of persons, in both sexes, in whom an unusual degree of nervous sensibility is constitutional, and of so marked a character as to be the feature of their [Pg 113] organization which exercises the greatest influence over the whole character of the vital phenomena. This constitution, like other physical conformations, is hereditary, and is transmitted to sons as well as daughters; but it is possible, and probable, that the nervous temperament (as it is called) is inherited by a greater number of women than of men. We will assume this as a fact: and let me then ask, are men of nervous temperament found to be unfit for the duties and pursuits usually followed by men? If not, why should women of the same temperament be unfit for them? The peculiarities of the temperament are, no doubt, within certain limits, an obstacle to success in some employments, though an aid to it in others. But when the occupation is suitable to the temperament, and sometimes even when it is unsuitable, the most brilliant examples of success are continually given by the men of high nervous sensibility. They are distinguished in their practical manifestations chiefly by this, that being susceptible of a higher degree of excitement than those of another physical constitution, their powers when excited differ more than in the case of other people, from those shown in their ordinary state: they are raised, as it were, above themselves, and do things with ease which they are wholly incapable of at other times. But this lofty excitement is not, except in weak bodily constitutions, [Pg 114] a mere flash, which passes away immediately, leaving no permanent traces, and incompatible with persistent and steady pursuit of an object. It is the character of the nervous temperament to be capable of sustained excitement, holding out through long continued efforts. It is what is meant by spirit. It is what makes the high-bred racehorse run without slackening speed till he drops down dead. It is what has enabled so many delicate women to maintain the most sublime constancy not only at the stake, but through a long preliminary succession of mental and bodily tortures. It is evident that people of this temperament are particularly apt for what may be called the executive department of the leadership of mankind. They are the material of great orators, great preachers, impressive diffusers of moral influences. Their constitution might be deemed less favourable to the qualities required from a statesman in the cabinet, or from a judge. It would be so, if the consequence necessarily followed that because people are excitable they must always be in a state of excitement. But this is wholly a question of training. Strong feeling is the instrument and element of strong self-control: but it requires to be cultivated in that direction. When it is, it forms not the heroes of impulse only, but those also of self-conquest. History and experience prove that [Pg 115] the most passionate characters are the most fanatically rigid in their feelings of duty, when their passion has been trained to act in that direction. The judge who gives a just decision in a case where his feelings are intensely interested on the other side, derives from that same strength of feeling the determined sense of the obligation of justice, which enables him to achieve this victory over himself. The capability of that lofty enthusiasm which takes the human being out of his every-day character, reacts upon the daily character itself. His aspirations and powers when he is in this exceptional state, become the type with which he compares, and by which he estimates, his sentiments and proceedings at other times: and his habitual purposes assume a character moulded by and assimilated to the moments of lofty excitement, although those, from the physical nature of a human being, can only be transient. Experience of races, as well as of individuals, does not show those of excitable temperament to be less fit, on the average, either for speculation or practice, than the more unexcitable. The French, and the Italians, are undoubtedly by nature more nervously excitable than the Teutonic races, and, compared at least with the English, they have a much greater habitual and daily emotional life: but have they been less great in science, in public business, in [Pg 116] legal and judicial eminence, or in war? There is abundant evidence that the Greeks were of old, as their descendants and successors still are, one of the most excitable of the races of mankind. It is superfluous to ask, what among the achievements of men they did not excel in. The Romans, probably, as an equally southern people, had the same original temperament: but the stern character of their national discipline, like that of the Spartans, made them an example of the opposite type of national character; the greater strength of their natural feelings being chiefly apparent in the intensity which the same original temperament made it possible to give to the artificial. If these cases exemplify what a naturally excitable people may be made, the Irish Celts afford one of the aptest examples of what they are when left to themselves; (if those can be said to be left to themselves who have been for centuries under the indirect influence of bad government, and the direct training of a Catholic hierarchy and of a sincere belief in the Catholic religion.) The Irish character must be considered, therefore, as an unfavourable case: yet, whenever the circumstances of the individual have been at all favourable, what people have shown greater capacity for the most varied and multifarious individual eminence? Like the French compared with the English, the Irish with the Swiss, the [Pg 117] Greeks or Italians compared with the German races, so women compared with men may be found, on the average, to do the same things with some variety in the particular kind of excellence. But, that they would do them fully as well on the whole, if their education and cultivation were adapted to correcting instead of aggravating the infirmities incident to their temperament, I see not the smallest reason to doubt.
It may be said that women's increased nervous sensitivity disqualifies them from anything beyond domestic life, making them unpredictable, overly influenced by their emotions, unable to stick with tasks consistently, and varying in their ability to use their skills. I believe these statements represent the majority of the common objections to women's suitability for serious professions. Much of this arises from nervous energy that goes to waste and would diminish if that energy were focused on a specific goal. Additionally, some of it is a result of conscious or unconscious cultivation, as evidenced by the near disappearance of “hysteria” and fainting spells, once they went out of fashion. Furthermore, when people are raised like many upper-class women (though less so in our country than elsewhere) as if they were delicate greenhouse plants, sheltered from the healthy changes in air and temperature, and untrained in any activities that would stimulate and develop their circulatory and muscular systems—while their nervous system, especially its emotional aspect, is kept in unnaturally active use—it is no surprise that those who do not succumb to tuberculosis grow up with constitutions that are easily upset by minor internal and external factors and lack the stamina for any taxing physical or mental effort that requires ongoing commitment. However, women raised to earn their living do not exhibit these unhealthy traits, unless they are confined to an excessive amount of sedentary work in cramped, unhealthy spaces. Women who have participated in healthy physical education and enjoyed freedom of movement alongside their brothers and continue to get ample fresh air and exercise in their adult lives rarely have any excessive nervous sensitivity that would disqualify them from active pursuits. There is indeed a certain proportion of individuals, both male and female, who have a naturally high level of nervous sensitivity that significantly influences their overall character. This sensitivity, like other physical traits, is hereditary, passed down to both sons and daughters; however, it is likely that more women inherit this nervous temperament than men. Assuming this is true, I ask: Are men with a nervous temperament deemed unfit for their typical duties and careers? If not, why would women with the same temperament be considered unfit? While the characteristics of this temperament might pose some challenges to success in certain jobs, they can also be advantageous in others. Yet when the job aligns with the temperament, and sometimes even when it doesn’t, men with high nervous sensitivity consistently demonstrate outstanding success. They are distinguished by the fact that, being more susceptible to excitement than those with other physical constitutions, their abilities, when stimulated, diverge significantly from their baseline capabilities: they are elevated beyond their usual selves and can accomplish tasks with ease that they are entirely incapable of at other times. However, this heightened excitement is not just a fleeting burst that leaves no lasting impact and is incompatible with sustained effort, except in those with weaker physical constitutions. A nervous temperament can sustain excitement, allowing individuals to endure long periods of effort. That’s what we refer to as spirit. It’s what drives a high-bred racehorse to run tirelessly until it collapses. It’s what has allowed many sensitive women to exhibit remarkable endurance not just at the stake but through prolonged mental and physical suffering. It is clear that individuals with this temperament are particularly suited for what can be termed the executive roles in leadership. They are the foundation of great orators, impactful preachers, and strong disseminators of moral influence. Their constitution might be less favorable to the traits required of a cabinet minister or a judge. However, this is only true if it is assumed that being excitable means always being in a state of excitement, which is entirely a matter of training. Strong emotions are tools for strong self-control, but they need to be nurtured in that way. When they are, they produce not just heroes of impulse but heroes of self-discipline as well. Both history and experience show that the most passionate individuals tend to be the most staunchly committed to their sense of duty when their passion has been directed that way. The judge who makes a fair ruling in a case where he has strong feelings on the opposite side draws from that same intensity of feeling a resolute sense of justice, enabling him to overcome his biases. The capacity for that intense enthusiasm, which lifts a person out of their daily self, also affects their everyday character. Their ambitions and abilities during those exceptional states become the standard by which they measure their thoughts and actions at other times, and their usual aims take on a form shaped by and aligned with those moments of heightened excitement, even though such moments, by the physical nature of humanity, can only be temporary. Evidence from ethnicities, as well as individuals, does not indicate that those with an excitable temperament are, on average, less fit for either speculative or practical endeavors than those who are less excitable. The French and Italians are naturally more nervously excitable than the Teutonic races and have a significantly richer emotional life compared to the English; but have they been less accomplished in science, public affairs, legal excellence, or warfare? There is ample evidence that the Greeks were historically one of the most excitable races, just as their modern descendants continue to be. It is unnecessary to debate what achievements they did not excel in. The Romans, likely sharing a similar temperament due to their southern origins, exhibited a contrasting national character owing to their strict national discipline, akin to that of the Spartans; the strength of their natural emotions manifested primarily through intense artificial expressions. If these examples illustrate what a naturally excitable people can become, the Irish Celts also represent an excellent example of their raw capabilities (if we can even say they are unshaped by external influences, having long endured poor governance and the direct influence of a Catholic hierarchy and a widespread belief in Catholicism). Thus, the Irish character should be seen as an unfavorable case: yet, whenever the individual's circumstances have been even remotely favorable, what people have shown greater potential for diverse individual excellence? Just as the French might excel compared to the English, the Irish compared to the Swiss, and the Greeks or Italians compared to the Germanic races, women can generally be found to do similar things as men, albeit with some variation in the specific type of excellence. However, I see no reason to doubt that they could perform just as well overall if their education and training were aimed at counteracting rather than exacerbating the weaknesses associated with their temperament.
Supposing it, however, to be true that women's minds are by nature more mobile than those of men, less capable of persisting long in the same continuous effort, more fitted for dividing their faculties among many things than for travelling in any one path to the highest point which can be reached by it: this may be true of women as they now are (though not without great and numerous exceptions), and may account for their having remained behind the highest order of men in precisely the things in which this absorption of the whole mind in one set of ideas and occupations may seem to be most requisite. Still, this difference is one which can only affect the kind of excellence, not the excellence itself, or its practical worth: and it remains to be shown whether this exclusive working of a part of the mind, this absorption of the whole thinking faculty in a single subject, and concentration of it on a single work, is the [Pg 118] normal and healthful condition of the human faculties, even for speculative uses. I believe that what is gained in special development by this concentration, is lost in the capacity of the mind for the other purposes of life; and even in abstract thought, it is my decided opinion that the mind does more by frequently returning to a difficult problem, than by sticking to it without interruption. For the purposes, at all events, of practice, from its highest to its humblest departments, the capacity of passing promptly from one subject of consideration to another, without letting the active spring of the intellect run down between the two, is a power far more valuable; and this power women pre-eminently possess, by virtue of the very mobility of which they are accused. They perhaps have it from nature, but they certainly have it by training and education; for nearly the whole of the occupations of women consist in the management of small but multitudinous details, on each of which the mind cannot dwell even for a minute, but must pass on to other things, and if anything requires longer thought, must steal time at odd moments for thinking of it. The capacity indeed which women show for doing their thinking in circumstances and at times which almost any man would make an excuse to himself for not attempting it, has often been noticed: and a [Pg 119] woman's mind, though it may be occupied only with small things, can hardly ever permit itself to be vacant, as a man's so often is when not engaged in what he chooses to consider the business of his life. The business of a woman's ordinary life is things in general, and can as little cease to go on as the world to go round.
Assuming it's true that women’s minds are naturally more restless than men’s, less able to stay focused for long on one thing, and better at juggling multiple tasks than at following a single path to its highest potential: this might apply to women as they are today (with many notable exceptions) and could explain why they have lagged behind the most accomplished men in areas where deep focus on specific ideas and tasks seems crucial. However, this difference only influences the type of excellence, not its essence or practical value. It's still to be determined whether this tendency to work on only a part of the mind, fully engaging in one topic, and concentrating on a single task, is the [Pg 118] normal and healthy state of human faculties, even for theoretical purposes. I believe the focus that comes with this concentration hinders the mind's capacity for other life purposes; and even in abstract thinking, I firmly believe that frequently revisiting a challenging problem is more effective than sticking to it without break. For practical reasons—ranging from the highest to the lowest levels—the ability to quickly shift from one topic to another without losing intellectual momentum is much more valuable, and women often excel in this skill, which is attributed to their alleged restlessness. They may be naturally inclined this way, but they definitely develop this skill through training and education; because most women’s tasks involve managing countless small details, each of which cannot be contemplated for long and must be followed by moving on to other matters. If something needs more consideration, they have to find time to think about it in short bursts. Indeed, the ability women have to think during times and under conditions most men would avoid has often been noted; and a [Pg 119] woman's mind, even if focused on minor matters, rarely allows itself to be empty, unlike a man's mind which often is when he's not engaged in what he sees as his life’s work. The regular business of a woman's life involves an array of tasks, and it can't simply stop any more than the world can stop turning.
But (it is said) there is anatomical evidence of the superior mental capacity of men compared with women: they have a larger brain. I reply, that in the first place the fact itself is doubtful. It is by no means established that the brain of a woman is smaller than that of a man. If it is inferred merely because a woman's bodily frame generally is of less dimensions than a man's, this criterion would lead to strange consequences. A tall and large-boned man must on this showing be wonderfully superior in intelligence to a small man, and an elephant or a whale must prodigiously excel mankind. The size of the brain in human beings, anatomists say, varies much less than the size of the body, or even of the head, and the one cannot be at all inferred from the other. It is certain that some women have as large a brain as any man. It is within my knowledge that a man who had weighed many human brains, said that the heaviest he knew of, heavier even than Cuvier's (the heaviest previously [Pg 120] recorded,) was that of a woman. Next, I must observe that the precise relation which exists between the brain and the intellectual powers is not yet well understood, but is a subject of great dispute. That there is a very close relation we cannot doubt. The brain is certainly the material organ of thought and feeling: and (making abstraction of the great unsettled controversy respecting the appropriation of different parts of the brain to different mental faculties) I admit that it would be an anomaly, and an exception to all we know of the general laws of life and organization, if the size of the organ were wholly indifferent to the function; if no accession of power were derived from the greater magnitude of the instrument. But the exception and the anomaly would be fully as great if the organ exercised influence by its magnitude only. In all the more delicate operations of nature—of which those of the animated creation are the most delicate, and those of the nervous system by far the most delicate of these—differences in the effect depend as much on differences of quality in the physical agents, as on their quantity: and if the quality of an instrument is to be tested by the nicety and delicacy of the work it can do, the indications point to a greater average fineness of quality in the brain and nervous system of women than of men. [Pg 121] Dismissing abstract difference of quality, a thing difficult to verify, the efficiency of an organ is known to depend not solely on its size but on its activity: and of this we have an approximate measure in the energy with which the blood circulates through it, both the stimulus and the reparative force being mainly dependent on the circulation. It would not be surprising—it is indeed an hypothesis which accords well with the differences actually observed between the mental operations of the two sexes—if men on the average should have the advantage in the size of the brain, and women in activity of cerebral circulation. The results which conjecture, founded on analogy, would lead us to expect from this difference of organization, would correspond to some of those which we most commonly see. In the first place, the mental operations of men might be expected to be slower. They would neither be so prompt as women in thinking, nor so quick to feel. Large bodies take more time to get into full action. On the other hand, when once got thoroughly into play, men's brain would bear more work. It would be more persistent in the line first taken; it would have more difficulty in changing from one mode of action to another, but, in the one thing it was doing, it could go on longer without loss of power or sense of fatigue. And do we not find that [Pg 122] the things in which men most excel women are those which require most plodding and long hammering at a single thought, while women do best what must be done rapidly? A woman's brain is sooner fatigued, sooner exhausted; but given the degree of exhaustion, we should expect to find that it would recover itself sooner. I repeat that this speculation is entirely hypothetical; it pretends to no more than to suggest a line of enquiry. I have before repudiated the notion of its being yet certainly known that there is any natural difference at all in the average strength or direction of the mental capacities of the two sexes, much less what that difference is. Nor is it possible that this should be known, so long as the psychological laws of the formation of character have been so little studied, even in a general way, and in the particular case never scientifically applied at all; so long as the most obvious external causes of difference of character are habitually disregarded—left unnoticed by the observer, and looked down upon with a kind of supercilious contempt by the prevalent schools both of natural history and of mental philosophy: who, whether they look for the source of what mainly distinguishes human beings from one another, in the world of matter or in that of spirit, agree in running down those who prefer to explain these differences by the [Pg 123] different relations of human beings to society and life.
But some say there’s anatomical evidence that men have better mental capacity than women because they have larger brains. I say, first of all, that this claim is questionable. It’s not well established that women’s brains are smaller than men’s. If that conclusion is drawn just because women generally have smaller bodies, we’d get some odd results. A tall, big-boned man would have to be incredibly smarter than a smaller man, and by that reasoning, an elephant or a whale would be far superior to humans. Anatomists believe that the size of the brain in humans varies much less than the size of the body or even the head, and you can’t draw conclusions about one based on the other. It’s certain that some women have brains as large as any man’s. I know a man who weighed many human brains and said the heaviest he had encountered—which surpassed even Cuvier’s record—belonged to a woman. Next, I must point out that the exact relationship between brain size and intellectual power isn’t fully understood yet and is quite controversial. However, we can’t deny that there’s a very close relationship. The brain is definitely the physical organ responsible for thought and feeling, and ignoring the big unresolved debate about which parts of the brain correspond to which mental abilities, I concede that it would be unusual for the size of the organ to have no impact on its function; that larger organs wouldn’t yield more power. But it would also be just as strange if the organ influenced function only because of its size. In nature’s more delicate operations—those of living creatures being the most delicate, especially the nervous system—outcomes depend just as much on the quality of the physical agents as on their quantity. If we gauge the quality of an instrument by the precision it can achieve, evidence suggests that women’s brains and nervous systems have a finer average quality than men’s. Ignoring the abstract concept of quality, which is hard to verify, we know an organ's effectiveness relies not just on size but also on activity. We can measure this roughly by how vigorously blood flows through it, since both stimulation and repair mainly depend on circulation. It wouldn’t be surprising—and it actually fits well with the differences we see between the mental processes of the two sexes—if men typically have larger brains, but women have more active cerebral circulation. The outcomes we might expect from this organizational difference would reflect some of the common patterns we observe. For starters, men’s mental processes might be slower. They wouldn’t think as quickly as women or be as responsive to feelings. Larger bodies take more time to kick into gear. However, once fully engaged, men’s brains might be able to handle more workload. They could persist longer on the initial task without losing power or feeling fatigued, but they might struggle to switch gears. And don’t we see that men typically excel in tasks that require prolonged focus and effort, while women tend to perform best in situations that demand quick actions? A woman’s brain gets tired faster; it exhausts more quickly, but given the same level of fatigue, we’d expect it to recover more swiftly. I want to emphasize that this idea is purely hypothetical; it’s merely a suggestion for further investigation. I’ve previously rejected the idea that we know for certain whether any natural differences exist in the average strengths or tendencies of men’s and women’s mental capabilities, much less what those differences are. It’s impossible to establish this knowledge as long as the psychological principles behind character formation remain underexplored, especially since the most obvious external causes of character differences are often ignored or dismissed with contempt by leading schools of natural history and mental philosophy: whether they attribute human distinctions to material or spiritual realms, they commonly disregard those who advocate for explanations based on the varying relationships humans have with society and life.
To so ridiculous an extent are the notions formed of the nature of women, mere empirical generalizations, framed, without philosophy or analysis, upon the first instances which present themselves, that the popular idea of it is different in different countries, according as the opinions and social circumstances of the country have given to the women living in it any speciality of development or non-development. An Oriental thinks that women are by nature peculiarly voluptuous; see the violent abuse of them on this ground in Hindoo writings. An Englishman usually thinks that they are by nature cold. The sayings about women's fickleness are mostly of French origin; from the famous distich of Francis the First, upward and downward. In England it is a common remark, how much more constant women are than men. Inconstancy has been longer reckoned discreditable to a woman, in England than in France; and Englishwomen are besides, in their inmost nature, much more subdued to opinion. It may be remarked by the way, that Englishmen are in peculiarly unfavourable circumstances for attempting to judge what is or is not natural, not merely to women, but to men, or to human beings altogether, at least if they have only English experience to go upon: because there is no place where [Pg 124] human nature shows so little of its original lineaments. Both in a good and a bad sense, the English are farther from a state of nature than any other modern people. They are, more than any other people, a product of civilization and discipline. England is the country in which social discipline has most succeeded, not so much in conquering, as in suppressing, whatever is liable to conflict with it. The English, more than any other people, not only act but feel according to rule. In other countries, the taught opinion, or the requirement of society, may be the stronger power, but the promptings of the individual nature are always visible under it, and often resisting it: rule may be stronger than nature, but nature is still there. In England, rule has to a great degree substituted itself for nature. The greater part of life is carried on, not by following inclination under the control of rule, but by having no inclination but that of following a rule. Now this has its good side doubtless, though it has also a wretchedly bad one; but it must render an Englishman peculiarly ill-qualified to pass a judgment on the original tendencies of human nature from his own experience. The errors to which observers elsewhere are liable on the subject, are of a different character. An Englishman is ignorant respecting human nature, a Frenchman is prejudiced. An Englishman's errors are negative, a Frenchman's [Pg 125] positive. An Englishman fancies that things do not exist, because he never sees them; a Frenchman thinks they must always and necessarily exist, because he does see them. An Englishman does not know nature, because he has had no opportunity of observing it; a Frenchman generally knows a great deal of it, but often mistakes it, because he has only seen it sophisticated and distorted. For the artificial state superinduced by society disguises the natural tendencies of the thing which is the subject of observation, in two different ways: by extinguishing the nature, or by transforming it. In the one case there is but a starved residuum of nature remaining to be studied; in the other case there is much, but it may have expanded in any direction rather than that in which it would spontaneously grow.
The ideas people have about women are so ridiculous that they’re basically just over-generalizations based on the first examples people encounter, without any real thought or analysis. Public perception varies from country to country depending on the local beliefs and social conditions that shape women’s lives in that place. In some Eastern cultures, for instance, people believe women are naturally overly sensual, and this bias is evident in Hindu texts. Conversely, English people often think of women as naturally cold. The belief that women are fickle mostly comes from French sources, dating back to famous sayings from Francis the First. In England, it’s commonly said that women are actually more reliable than men. For a long time, being unfaithful was considered more disgraceful for women in England than in France, and English women also tend to be more influenced by societal expectations. It’s worth mentioning that English men are in a particularly poor position to judge what’s natural for women, men, or humanity as a whole, especially if they’re only relying on English experiences. This is because human nature tends to be less recognizable in England. In both positive and negative ways, the English are further removed from a natural state than any other modern society. They are more shaped by civilization and discipline than any other people. England is where social order has succeeded most, not so much by conquering as by stifling anything that might disrupt it. The English, more than any other group, both think and feel according to strict rules. In other countries, social beliefs or societal pressures might overpower individual instincts, but those natural urges are still visible and often push against societal expectations. In England, however, society has largely supplanted nature. Much of life is not about following personal desires while adhering to societal rules, but rather having no desire except to follow the rules. This can have some merits, but it also leads to a particularly unfortunate drawback: it makes English men especially unfit to judge the natural tendencies of human nature based on their experiences. Meanwhile, people from other countries face different kinds of misunderstandings. An Englishman lacks knowledge about human nature, while a Frenchman often holds biases. The Englishman’s misunderstandings are of the kind that thinks certain things don’t exist simply because he has never seen them; the Frenchman, on the other hand, believes that things must exist simply because he has encountered them. An Englishman doesn’t know about nature because he hasn’t had the chance to observe it; a Frenchman might know a good deal, but often gets it wrong because he’s only seen a corrupted version. The artificial conditions created by society hide true natural tendencies in two ways: by suppressing nature or changing it. In the first case, there is only a thin remnant of nature left to study; in the second, there’s a lot, but it may have evolved in a way that’s completely different from how it would have developed on its own.
I have said that it cannot now be known how much of the existing mental differences between men and women is natural, and how much artificial; whether there are any natural differences at all; or, supposing all artificial causes of difference to be withdrawn, what natural character would be revealed. I am not about to attempt what I have pronounced impossible: but doubt does not forbid conjecture, and where certainty is unattainable, there may yet be the means of arriving at some degree of probability. The first point, the origin of the differences actually [Pg 126] observed, is the one most accessible to speculation; and I shall attempt to approach it, by the only path by which it can be reached; by tracing the mental consequences of external influences. We cannot isolate a human being from the circumstances of his condition, so as to ascertain experimentally what he would have been by nature; but we can consider what he is, and what his circumstances have been, and whether the one would have been capable of producing the other.
I’ve stated that we can’t currently know how much of the existing mental differences between men and women is natural and how much is artificial; whether there are any natural differences at all; or, if all artificial causes of difference were removed, what natural traits would be revealed. I'm not going to try to do what I have called impossible: however, uncertainty doesn't rule out speculation, and even when we can't be sure, we might still reach some level of probability. The first issue, the source of the differences we actually observe, is the one that’s easiest to think about; and I will try to tackle it by the only way it can be done: by examining the mental effects of external influences. We can't separate a human from the circumstances of their situation to find out what they would have been by nature; but we can look at who they are and what their circumstances have been, and consider whether one could have caused the other.
Let us take, then, the only marked case which observation affords, of apparent inferiority of women to men, if we except the merely physical one of bodily strength. No production in philosophy, science, or art, entitled to the first rank, has been the work of a woman. Is there any mode of accounting for this, without supposing that women are naturally incapable of producing them?
Let’s consider the only significant example that observation provides of women's apparent inferiority to men, aside from the purely physical aspect of strength. No major contributions in philosophy, science, or art that hold the highest regard have been made by women. Is there a way to explain this without assuming that women are inherently unable to create them?
In the first place, we may fairly question whether experience has afforded sufficient grounds for an induction. It is scarcely three generations since women, saving very rare exceptions, have begun to try their capacity in philosophy, science, or art. It is only in the present generation that their attempts have been at all numerous; and they are even now extremely few, everywhere but in England and France. It is a relevant question, whether a mind possessing the requisites of [Pg 127] first-rate eminence in speculation or creative art could have been expected, on the mere calculation of chances, to turn up during that lapse of time, among the women whose tastes and personal position admitted of their devoting themselves to these pursuits. In all things which there has yet been time for—in all but the very highest grades in the scale of excellence, especially in the department in which they have been longest engaged, literature (both prose and poetry)—women have done quite as much, have obtained fully as high prizes and as many of them, as could be expected from the length of time and the number of competitors. If we go back to the earlier period when very few women made the attempt, yet some of those few made it with distinguished success. The Greeks always accounted Sappho among their great poets; and we may well suppose that Myrtis, said to have been the teacher of Pindar, and Corinna, who five times bore away from him the prize of poetry, must at least have had sufficient merit to admit of being compared with that great name. Aspasia did not leave any philosophical writings; but it is an admitted fact that Socrates resorted to her for instruction, and avowed himself to have obtained it.
First of all, we can reasonably question whether experience has provided enough basis for a conclusion. It’s only been about three generations since women, with very few exceptions, have started to explore their abilities in philosophy, science, or art. Only in this current generation have their efforts become more common; even now, they are still very few, except in England and France. It's a valid question whether a mind capable of achieving top-notch status in speculation or creative art could have been expected to emerge during that time frame, among the women whose interests and circumstances allowed them to dedicate themselves to these fields. In everything that has had enough time for development—in all but the highest levels of excellence, especially in areas where they have been engaged the longest, like literature (both prose and poetry)—women have accomplished just as much and earned as high honors and as many of them as could be anticipated given the time and number of competitors. Looking back to the earlier period when very few women attempted it, we find that some of those few achieved notable success. The Greeks always regarded Sappho as one of their great poets; and we can assume that Myrtis, who was said to be Pindar's teacher, and Corinna, who won the poetry prize from him five times, must have possessed enough talent to be compared with that great name. Aspasia didn’t leave behind any philosophical writings, but it's well-known that Socrates sought her guidance and acknowledged that he benefited from it.
If we consider the works of women in modern times, and contrast them with those of men, either in the literary or the artistic department, [Pg 128] such inferiority as may be observed resolves itself essentially into one thing: but that is a most material one; deficiency of originality. Not total deficiency; for every production of mind which is of any substantive value, has an originality of its own—is a conception of the mind itself, not a copy of something else. Thoughts original, in the sense of being unborrowed—of being derived from the thinker's own observations or intellectual processes—are abundant in the writings of women. But they have not yet produced any of those great and luminous new ideas which form an era in thought, nor those fundamentally new conceptions in art, which open a vista of possible effects not before thought of, and found a new school. Their compositions are mostly grounded on the existing fund of thought, and their creations do not deviate widely from existing types. This is the sort of inferiority which their works manifest: for in point of execution, in the detailed application of thought, and the perfection of style, there is no inferiority. Our best novelists in point of composition, and of the management of detail, have mostly been women; and there is not in all modern literature a more eloquent vehicle of thought than the style of Madame de Stael, nor, as a specimen of purely artistic excellence, anything superior to the prose of Madame Sand, whose style acts upon the [Pg 129] nervous system like a symphony of Haydn or Mozart. High originality of conception is, as I have said, what is chiefly wanting. And now to examine if there is any manner in which this deficiency can be accounted for.
If we look at the works of women today and compare them with those of men, whether in literature or the arts, [Pg 128] the differences we notice mainly come down to one key issue: a lack of originality. It's not a complete lack; every significant piece of work has some original quality—an idea that comes from the creator’s own mind, not just a copy of something else. Women’s writings are full of original thoughts in the sense that they are not borrowed—derived from their own observations or thought processes. However, they haven't yet produced any groundbreaking new ideas that transform the landscape of thought, nor have they created fundamentally new artistic concepts that open up new possibilities and establish a new school. Most of their works build on existing ideas, and their creations don’t stray far from established forms. This is the kind of inferiority their works display; in terms of execution, detail management, and stylistic perfection, there's no inferiority. Our best novelists, in terms of composition and detail, are predominantly women; there isn't a more eloquent expression of thought in modern literature than Madame de Stael’s style, nor anything that matches the pure artistic excellence of Madame Sand’s prose, which impacts the nervous system like a symphony by Haydn or Mozart. What is mainly missing is a high originality of conception. Now, let's explore whether there is a way to explain this deficiency.
Let us remember, then, so far as regards mere thought, that during all that period in the world's existence, and in the progress of cultivation, in which great and fruitful new truths could be arrived at by mere force of genius, with little previous study and accumulation of knowledge—during all that time women did not concern themselves with speculation at all. From the days of Hypatia to those of the Reformation, the illustrious Heloisa is almost the only woman to whom any such achievement might have been possible; and we know not how great a capacity of speculation in her may have been lost to mankind by the misfortunes of her life. Never since any considerable number of women have begun to cultivate serious thought, has originality been possible on easy terms. Nearly all the thoughts which can be reached by mere strength of original faculties, have long since been arrived at; and originality, in any high sense of the word, is now scarcely ever attained but by minds which have undergone elaborate discipline, and are deeply versed in the results of previous thinking. It is Mr. Maurice, I think, [Pg 130] who has remarked on the present age, that its most original thinkers are those who have known most thoroughly what had been thought by their predecessors: and this will always henceforth be the case. Every fresh stone in the edifice has now to be placed on the top of so many others, that a long process of climbing, and of carrying up materials, has to be gone through by whoever aspires to take a share in the present stage of the work. How many women are there who have gone through any such process? Mrs. Somerville, alone perhaps of women, knows as much of mathematics as is now needful for making any considerable mathematical discovery: is it any proof of inferiority in women, that she has not happened to be one of the two or three persons who in her lifetime have associated their names with some striking advancement of the science? Two women, since political economy has been made a science, have known enough of it to write usefully on the subject: of how many of the innumerable men who have written on it during the same time, is it possible with truth to say more? If no woman has hitherto been a great historian, what woman has had the necessary erudition? If no woman is a great philologist, what woman has studied Sanscrit and Slavonic, the Gothic of Ulphila and the Persic of the Zendavesta? Even in practical matters [Pg 131] we all know what is the value of the originality of untaught geniuses. It means, inventing over again in its rudimentary form something already invented and improved upon by many successive inventors. When women have had the preparation which all men now require to be eminently original, it will be time enough to begin judging by experience of their capacity for originality.
Let's remember that during the entire period of the world's existence, and throughout the progress of culture, women did not engage in speculative thought at all. From the days of Hypatia to the Reformation, the notable Heloisa is nearly the only woman who could have achieved this; and we don't know how much potential for speculation her misfortunes may have cost mankind. Since a significant number of women have started to undertake serious thought, originality has rarely been easy. Most ideas that can be formulated through sheer original talent have already been discovered; and now, genuine originality can usually only be achieved by minds that have undergone extensive training and are well-informed about past thinking. I believe it is Mr. Maurice who observed that today’s most original thinkers are those who have deeply understood the thoughts of their predecessors, and this will continue to be the case. Each new idea must now build upon many others, requiring a lengthy process of climbing and carrying materials for anyone aspiring to contribute at this stage of intellectual progress. How many women have undergone such a process? Mrs. Somerville, perhaps the only woman who knows as much about mathematics as is necessary for making significant discoveries, should not be seen as inferior just because she isn't one of the few names associated with notable advancements in the field during her lifetime. Only two women have had enough knowledge of political economy to write meaningfully about it; can we truthfully say more about the countless men who have written on it during the same time? If no woman has yet been a great historian, which woman possesses the necessary expertise? If no woman has become a great philologist, which woman has studied Sanskrit, Slavonic, Ulphila's Gothic, or the Zendavesta's Persian? Even in practical matters, we all recognize the limited value of the originality of untrained geniuses. It often means simply reinventing something that has been improved upon by many previous inventors. When women have completed the preparation now required of all men to be truly original, it will be time to start judging their capacity for originality based on experience.
It no doubt often happens that a person, who has not widely and accurately studied the thoughts of others on a subject, has by natural sagacity a happy intuition, which he can suggest, but cannot prove, which yet when matured may be an important addition to knowledge: but even then, no justice can be done to it until some other person, who does possess the previous acquirements, takes it in hand, tests it, gives it a scientific or practical form, and fits it into its place among the existing truths of philosophy or science. Is it supposed that such felicitous thoughts do not occur to women? They occur by hundreds to every woman of intellect. But they are mostly lost, for want of a husband or friend who has the other knowledge which can enable him to estimate them properly and bring them before the world: and even when they are brought before it, they generally appear as his ideas, not their real author's. Who can tell how many of the most [Pg 132] original thoughts put forth by male writers, belong to a woman by suggestion, to themselves only by verifying and working out? If I may judge by my own case, a very large proportion indeed.
It's common for someone who hasn’t thoroughly studied others' thoughts on a topic to have a natural insight that feels right, which they can suggest but cannot prove. When developed, this insight could significantly add to our knowledge. However, it can't be fully appreciated until someone who has the required background picks it up, tests it, gives it a scientific or practical structure, and fits it alongside established knowledge in philosophy or science. Are we to believe that these insightful thoughts don't come to women? They occur in abundance for every intelligent woman. Unfortunately, many of them are lost because they lack a husband or friend who has the extra knowledge to properly evaluate and share them with the world. Even when these ideas are presented, they often appear as the man's ideas instead of acknowledging the real author. Who knows how many original thoughts claimed by male writers actually came from women by suggestion, with the men only responsible for verifying and developing them? If my experience is anything to go by, a very large number, indeed. [Pg 132]
If we turn from pure speculation to literature in the narrow sense of the term, and the fine arts, there is a very obvious reason why women's literature is, in its general conception and in its main features, an imitation of men's. Why is the Roman literature, as critics proclaim to satiety, not original, but an imitation of the Greek? Simply because the Greeks came first. If women lived in a different country from men, and had never read any of their writings, they would have had a literature of their own. As it is, they have not created one, because they found a highly advanced literature already created. If there had been no suspension of the knowledge of antiquity, or if the Renaissance had occurred before the Gothic cathedrals were built, they never would have been built. We see that, in France and Italy, imitation of the ancient literature stopped the original development even after it had commenced. All women who write are pupils of the great male writers. A painter's early pictures, even if he be a Raffaelle, are undistinguishable in style from those of his master. Even a Mozart does not display his powerful originality in his [Pg 133] earliest pieces. What years are to a gifted individual, generations are to a mass. If women's literature is destined to have a different collective character from that of men, depending on any difference of natural tendencies, much longer time is necessary than has yet elapsed, before it can emancipate itself from the influence of accepted models, and guide itself by its own impulses. But if, as I believe, there will not prove to be any natural tendencies common to women, and distinguishing their genius from that of men, yet every individual writer among them has her individual tendencies, which at present are still subdued by the influence of precedent and example: and it will require generations more, before their individuality is sufficiently developed to make head against that influence.
If we shift from pure speculation to literature in the strictest sense and the fine arts, there's a clear reason why women’s literature largely mirrors men’s. Critics often say Roman literature isn’t original but rather an imitation of Greek literature. Why is that? Because the Greeks came first. If women lived in a separate world from men and had never encountered their writings, they would have developed their own literature. As it stands, they haven’t created one because they discovered a highly advanced body of work that was already established. If there hadn’t been a break in the knowledge of the classics, or if the Renaissance had taken place before the Gothic cathedrals were constructed, those cathedrals would likely never have existed. We can see that in France and Italy, the imitation of ancient literature hindered original development even after it had started. All women who write are students of the great male authors. A painter’s early works, even if he’s a Raphael, often have a style indistinguishable from that of his mentor. Even a Mozart doesn’t show his true originality in his earliest compositions. What years mean for a talented individual, generations mean for a collective. If women’s literature is meant to have a different collective character from men’s, based on any differences in natural inclinations, it will take much longer than has passed so far for it to break free from the influence of established models and follow its own instincts. However, if, as I believe, there are no inherent tendencies that differentiate women’s genius from men’s, each individual female writer has her own unique tendencies, which are currently still overshadowed by the influence of tradition and example. It will take many more generations before their individuality develops enough to resist that influence.
It is in the fine arts, properly so called, that the primâ facie evidence of inferior original powers in women at first sight appears the strongest: since opinion (it may be said) does not exclude them from these, but rather encourages them, and their education, instead of passing over this department, is in the affluent classes mainly composed of it. Yet in this line of exertion they have fallen still more short than in many others, of the highest eminence attained by men. This shortcoming, however, needs no other explanation than the familiar fact, more universally true [Pg 134] in the fine arts than in anything else; the vast superiority of professional persons over amateurs. Women in the educated classes are almost universally taught more or less of some branch or other of the fine arts, but not that they may gain their living or their social consequence by it. Women artists are all amateurs. The exceptions are only of the kind which confirm the general truth. Women are taught music, but not for the purpose of composing, only of executing it: and accordingly it is only as composers, that men, in music, are superior to women. The only one of the fine arts which women do follow, to any extent, as a profession, and an occupation for life, is the histrionic; and in that they are confessedly equal, if not superior, to men. To make the comparison fair, it should be made between the productions of women in any branch of art, and those of men not following it as a profession. In musical composition, for example, women surely have produced fully as good things as have ever been produced by male amateurs. There are now a few women, a very few, who practise painting as a profession, and these are already beginning to show quite as much talent as could be expected. Even male painters (pace Mr. Ruskin) have not made any very remarkable figure these last centuries, and it will be long before they do so. The reason why the old painters [Pg 135] were so greatly superior to the modern, is that a greatly superior class of men applied themselves to the art. In the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries the Italian painters were the most accomplished men of their age. The greatest of them were men of encyclopædical acquirements and powers, like the great men of Greece. But in their times fine art was, to men's feelings and conceptions, among the grandest things in which a human being could excel; and by it men were made, what only political or military distinction now makes them, the companions of sovereigns, and the equals of the highest nobility. In the present age, men of anything like similar calibre find something more important to do, for their own fame and the uses of the modern world, than painting: and it is only now and then that a Reynolds or a Turner (of whose relative rank among eminent men I do not pretend to an opinion) applies himself to that art. Music belongs to a different order of things; it does not require the same general powers of mind, but seems more dependant on a natural gift: and it may be thought surprising that no one of the great musical composers has been a woman. But even this natural gift, to be made available for great creations, requires study, and professional devotion to the pursuit. The only countries which have produced first-rate composers, even of the male sex, are Germany and Italy—countries [Pg 136] in which, both in point of special and of general cultivation, women have remained far behind France and England, being generally (it may be said without exaggeration) very little educated, and having scarcely cultivated at all any of the higher faculties of mind. And in those countries the men who are acquainted with the principles of musical composition must be counted by hundreds, or more probably by thousands, the women barely by scores: so that here again, on the doctrine of averages, we cannot reasonably expect to see more than one eminent woman to fifty eminent men; and the last three centuries have not produced fifty eminent male composers either in Germany or in Italy.
In the fine arts, specifically, the initial evidence of women's generally weaker original abilities is most apparent. It can be said that society doesn't exclude women from these fields but rather encourages them, and their education in affluent classes primarily focuses on the fine arts. However, they have fallen even further behind men in achieving the highest levels of success in this area compared to many others. This gap is easily explained by the well-known fact, which applies more universally to the fine arts than anything else: professional artists significantly outperform amateurs. Women in educated classes typically learn some form of the fine arts, but not with the intention of earning a living or gaining social status from it. Female artists are mostly amateurs; the few exceptions only serve to reinforce this general truth. Women are taught music, but only for performing, not for composing, which is why men excel as composers in music. The only fine art that women pursue as a profession and lifelong occupation is acting, and in that they are recognized as equal, if not superior, to men. To make a fair comparison, it should be between the works of women in any art form and those of men who are not professional artists. In musical composition, for instance, women certainly have created works that match the best produced by male amateurs. There are now a handful of women who practice painting professionally, and they are beginning to show a level of talent that is quite promising. Even male painters (with all due respect to Mr. Ruskin) haven't made a significant impact in recent centuries, and it will be a while before they do. The reason old painters outshone modern ones is that a far superior class of individuals dedicated themselves to the art. In the 14th and 15th centuries, Italian painters were among the most accomplished individuals of their time. The best of them were men of extensive knowledge and abilities, much like the great figures of Greece. During their era, fine art was seen as one of the noblest pursuits a person could excel in, and through it, men gained the same social standing that only political or military success grants today, becoming companions to royalty and peers of the highest nobility. Nowadays, men of similar caliber tend to find more significant pursuits to focus on for their own renown and the demands of the modern world, with only occasional artists like Reynolds or Turner dedicating themselves to painting. Music operates on a different level; it doesn’t demand the same broad intellectual capabilities but seems to rely more on innate talent. It is surprising that no great musical composers have been women. However, even this natural talent requires training and a professional commitment to develop significant works. The only countries that have produced top-notch composers, even among men, are Germany and Italy—nations where, in terms of both specialized and general education, women lag far behind those in France and England, often being very poorly educated and lacking the development of higher intellectual faculties. In these countries, men familiar with the principles of musical composition number in the hundreds, or likely thousands, while women barely reach into the scores. Thus, based on averages, we shouldn't reasonably expect to see more than one prominent woman for every fifty notable men, and the last three centuries haven’t produced fifty renowned male composers in either Germany or Italy.
There are other reasons, besides those which we have now given, that help to explain why women remain behind men, even in the pursuits which are open to both. For one thing, very few women have time for them. This may seem a paradox; it is an undoubted social fact. The time and thoughts of every woman have to satisfy great previous demands on them for things practical. There is, first, the superintendence of the family and the domestic expenditure, which occupies at least one woman in every family, generally the one of mature years and acquired experience; unless the family is so rich as to admit of delegating that task to hired agency, and submitting to all the [Pg 137] waste and malversation inseparable from that mode of conducting it. The superintendence of a household, even when not in other respects laborious, is extremely onerous to the thoughts; it requires incessant vigilance, an eye which no detail escapes, and presents questions for consideration and solution, foreseen and unforeseen, at every hour of the day, from which the person responsible for them can hardly ever shake herself free. If a woman is of a rank and circumstances which relieve her in a measure from these cares, she has still devolving on her the management for the whole family of its intercourse with others—of what is called society, and the less the call made on her by the former duty, the greater is always the development of the latter: the dinner parties, concerts, evening parties, morning visits, letter writing, and all that goes with them. All this is over and above the engrossing duty which society imposes exclusively on women, of making themselves charming. A clever woman of the higher ranks finds nearly a sufficient employment of her talents in cultivating the graces of manner and the arts of conversation. To look only at the outward side of the subject: the great and continual exercise of thought which all women who attach any value to dressing well (I do not mean expensively, but with taste, and perception of natural and of artificial convenance) must bestow upon their own dress, perhaps also upon [Pg 138] that of their daughters, would alone go a great way towards achieving respectable results in art, or science, or literature, and does actually exhaust much of the time and mental power they might have to spare for either.[2] If it were possible that all this number of little practical interests (which are made great to them) should leave them either much leisure, or much energy and freedom of mind, to be devoted to art or speculation, they must have a much greater original supply of active faculty than the vast majority of men. But this is not all. Independently of the regular offices of life which devolve upon a woman, she is expected to have her time and faculties always at the disposal of everybody. If a man has not a profession to exempt him from such demands, still, if he has a pursuit, he offends nobody by devoting his time to it; occupation is [Pg 139] received as a valid excuse for his not answering to every casual demand which may be made on him. Are a woman's occupations, especially her chosen and voluntary ones, ever regarded as excusing her from any of what are termed the calls of society? Scarcely are her most necessary and recognised duties allowed as an exemption. It requires an illness in the family, or something else out of the common way, to entitle her to give her own business the precedence over other people's amusement. She must always be at the beck and call of somebody, generally of everybody. If she has a study or a pursuit, she must snatch any short interval which accidentally occurs to be employed in it. A celebrated woman, in a work which I hope will some day be published, remarks truly that everything a woman does is done at odd times. Is it wonderful, then, if she does not attain the highest eminence in things which require consecutive attention, and the concentration on them of the chief interest of life? Such is philosophy, and such, above all, is art, in which, besides the devotion of the thoughts and feelings, the hand also must be kept in constant exercise to attain high skill.
There are other reasons, in addition to those we've just discussed, that explain why women fall behind men, even in areas open to both. For one, very few women have the time for them. This may sound contradictory, but it’s an undeniable social reality. The time and energy of every woman are often consumed by significant demands for practical tasks. First, there’s the oversight of the family and household expenses, which usually falls to one woman in each family—typically the one with more experience and maturity—unless the family is wealthy enough to hire someone else for this role, which often leads to waste and mismanagement. Managing a household, even if not physically taxing, is mentally demanding; it requires constant vigilance, an eye for every detail, and presents problems that need solutions at all hours, from which the person in charge can hardly escape. If a woman’s circumstances allow her to be partially relieved of these responsibilities, she still has to manage the family's social interactions—what we call society—and the less she is required to handle the former duty, the more time she has for the latter: dinner parties, concerts, evening events, morning visits, letter writing, and everything that goes with them. All of this is in addition to the significant expectation that society places exclusively on women to be charming. An intelligent woman from higher social circles finds that much of her talent is spent in perfecting her social graces and conversation skills. If we look solely at the surface: the significant and ongoing thinking that women who care about dressing well (not just expensively, but with taste and an understanding of what looks appropriate) invest in their appearance—likely also in the clothing of their daughters—could go a long way toward achieving respectable outcomes in art, science, or literature, and indeed consumes much of the time and mental energy they could otherwise dedicate to these pursuits. If it were possible for all these little practical interests (which are magnified for them) to leave them with plenty of free time, energy, or mental freedom for art or intellectual exploration, they would need a much greater natural ability than most men. But that's not all. Apart from the routine responsibilities women have, they're expected to have their time and abilities available for everyone else. If a man doesn’t have a profession to shield him from such demands, he can still pursue his interests without offending anyone; being busy is seen as a valid reason for not responding to every casual request made of him. But are a woman’s activities, especially her chosen ones, ever considered a valid excuse for not attending to the so-called calls of society? Hardly are her most essential, recognized duties acknowledged as an exemption. It typically takes a family illness or some extraordinary circumstance for her to prioritize her own work over others’ fun. She must always be ready to respond to someone, usually to everyone. If she has a hobby or intellectual pursuit, she must seize any brief moment that happens to arise to engage in it. A well-known woman, in a work I hope will eventually be published, rightly observes that everything a woman does occurs in spare moments. Is it any wonder, then, that she doesn’t reach the highest levels in pursuits that require sustained focus and full investment of life’s primary interests? Such is the case with philosophy, and especially with art, where dedication of thoughts and feelings, as well as continual practice, is essential to achieve high skill.
There is another consideration to be added to all these. In the various arts and intellectual occupations, there is a degree of proficiency sufficient for living by it, and there is a higher [Pg 140] degree on which depend the great productions which immortalize a name. To the attainment of the former, there are adequate motives in the case of all who follow the pursuit professionally: the other is hardly ever attained where there is not, or where there has not been at some period of life, an ardent desire of celebrity. Nothing less is commonly a sufficient stimulus to undergo the long and patient drudgery, which, in the case even of the greatest natural gifts, is absolutely required for great eminence in pursuits in which we already possess so many splendid memorials of the highest genius. Now, whether the cause be natural or artificial, women seldom have this eagerness for fame. Their ambition is generally confined within narrower bounds. The influence they seek is over those who immediately surround them. Their desire is to be liked, loved, or admired, by those whom they see with their eyes: and the proficiency in knowledge, arts, and accomplishments, which is sufficient for that, almost always contents them. This is a trait of character which cannot be left out of the account in judging of women as they are. I do not at all believe that it is inherent in women. It is only the natural result of their circumstances. The love of fame in men is encouraged by education and opinion: to “scorn delights and live laborious days” for its sake, is accounted the part [Pg 141] of “noble minds,” even if spoken of as their “last infirmity,” and is stimulated by the access which fame gives to all objects of ambition, including even the favour of women; while to women themselves all these objects are closed, and the desire of fame itself considered daring and unfeminine. Besides, how could it be that a woman's interests should not be all concentrated upon the impressions made on those who come into her daily life, when society has ordained that all her duties should be to them, and has contrived that all her comforts should depend on them? The natural desire of consideration from our fellow creatures is as strong in a woman as in a man; but society has so ordered things that public consideration is, in all ordinary cases, only attainable by her through the consideration of her husband or of her male relations, while her private consideration is forfeited by making herself individually prominent, or appearing in any other character than that of an appendage to men. Whoever is in the least capable of estimating the influence on the mind of the entire domestic and social position and the whole habit of a life, must easily recognise in that influence a complete explanation of nearly all the apparent differences between women and men, including the whole of those which imply any inferiority. [Pg 142]
There’s another point to consider among all this. In various artistic and intellectual fields, there's a level of skill that's enough to make a living from it, and then there's a higher level that leads to the great works that make a name go down in history. The first can be achieved through sufficient motivation by anyone pursuing that path professionally; the second is rarely reached unless there’s been, at some point in life, a strong desire for recognition. Generally, nothing less drives someone to endure the long and tedious work that’s absolutely necessary—even with the greatest natural talent—for achieving significant success in areas where we have so many impressive examples of extraordinary genius. Now, whether it's a natural or societal cause, women rarely have this drive for fame. Their ambitions are typically more limited. The influence they seek is over those in their immediate circles. They want to be liked, loved, or admired by the people they see daily, and the level of knowledge, skills, and accomplishments that satisfies that desire usually fulfills them. This aspect of character must be taken into account when judging women as they are. I don’t believe this is something inherent to women; it’s simply a natural result of their circumstances. Men are encouraged by education and societal expectations to desire fame. To “spurn pleasures and live laborious days” for the sake of it is considered a trait of “noble minds,” even if it's referred to as their “last weakness,” and is fueled by the advantages fame provides in chasing various ambitions, including the favor of women. Meanwhile, these opportunities are often closed off to women, and the desire for fame itself is viewed as bold and unfeminine. Besides, how could a woman focus on anything other than the impact she has on those in her daily life when society has dictated that all her responsibilities lie with them and arranged that all her comforts depend on them? The natural desire for recognition from those around us is as strong in women as in men; however, society has structured things so that public acknowledgment is generally only accessible to her through the recognition of her husband or male relatives, while private acknowledgment is often lost if she makes herself too prominent or appears in any role other than that of an extension of men. Anyone who can appreciate the influence of the entire domestic and social environment and lifestyle must easily see in that influence a complete explanation for nearly all the apparent differences between women and men, including those that imply any inferiority.
As for moral differences, considered as distinguished from intellectual, the distinction commonly drawn is to the advantage of women. They are declared to be better than men; an empty compliment, which must provoke a bitter smile from every woman of spirit, since there is no other situation in life in which it is the established order, and considered quite natural and suitable, that the better should obey the worse. If this piece of idle talk is good for anything, it is only as an admission by men, of the corrupting influence of power; for that is certainly the only truth which the fact, if it be a fact, either proves or illustrates. And it is true that servitude, except when it actually brutalizes, though corrupting to both, is less so to the slaves than to the slave-masters. It is wholesomer for the moral nature to be restrained, even by arbitrary power, than to be allowed to exercise arbitrary power without restraint. Women, it is said, seldomer fall under the penal law—contribute a much smaller number of offenders to the criminal calendar, than men. I doubt not that the same thing may be said, with the same truth, of negro slaves. Those who are under the control of others cannot often commit crimes, unless at the command and for the purposes of their masters. I do not know a more signal instance of the blindness with which the world, including the [Pg 143] herd of studious men, ignore and pass over all the influences of social circumstances, than their silly depreciation of the intellectual, and silly panegyrics on the moral, nature of women.
When it comes to moral differences, as opposed to intellectual ones, the common view tends to favor women. They are often said to be better than men; a meaningless compliment that must elicit a bitter smile from every spirited woman, since there’s no other situation in life where it’s considered normal and acceptable for the better to obey the worse. If this empty talk serves any purpose, it’s merely an acknowledgment by men of the corrupting nature of power; that’s clearly the only truth demonstrated or illustrated by this claim, if it’s even true. And it is true that servitude, unless it completely dehumanizes, is more corrupting for the masters than for the slaves. It’s healthier for one's moral character to be restricted, even by arbitrary power, than to wield arbitrary power without limits. It's said that women are less likely to break the law—contributing far fewer offenders to the criminal records than men. I wouldn’t be surprised if the same could be said about black slaves. Those who are controlled by others rarely commit crimes unless they’ve been ordered to by their masters. I can’t think of a clearer example of the blindness with which society, including the herd of learned men, overlooks and ignores the impact of social circumstances than their foolish underestimation of women’s intellectual abilities and their equally foolish praise of women's moral character.
The complimentary dictum about women's superior moral goodness may be allowed to pair off with the disparaging one respecting their greater liability to moral bias. Women, we are told, are not capable of resisting their personal partialities: their judgment in grave affairs is warped by their sympathies and antipathies. Assuming it to be so, it is still to be proved that women are oftener misled by their personal feelings than men by their personal interests. The chief difference would seem in that case to be, that men are led from the course of duty and the public interest by their regard for themselves, women (not being allowed to have private interests of their own) by their regard for somebody else. It is also to be considered, that all the education which women receive from society inculcates on them the feeling that the individuals connected with them are the only ones to whom they owe any duty—the only ones whose interest they are called upon to care for; while, as far as education is concerned, they are left strangers even to the elementary ideas which are presupposed in any intelligent regard for larger interests or higher moral objects. The complaint [Pg 144] against them resolves itself merely into this, that they fulfil only too faithfully the sole duty which they are taught, and almost the only one which they are permitted to practise.
The complimentary idea about women's superior moral goodness can be paired with the negative notion that they are more prone to moral bias. We hear that women can't resist their personal biases; their judgment in serious matters is affected by their likes and dislikes. Even if that’s true, it still needs to be shown that women are more often misled by their emotions than men are by their self-interests. The main difference seems to be that men are distracted from their responsibilities and the common good by their self-interest, while women (who aren't expected to have personal interests) are distracted by their concern for others. It's also important to note that the education women receive from society teaches them that they only owe duties to those close to them—the only ones whose interests they should care about. Compared to that, they are left out of even the basic ideas needed for a thoughtful consideration of broader interests or higher moral goals. The criticism against them simply comes down to the fact that they are too dutiful in fulfilling the only responsibility they are taught and practically the only one they are allowed to perform.
The concessions of the privileged to the unprivileged are so seldom brought about by any better motive than the power of the unprivileged to extort them, that any arguments against the prerogative of sex are likely to be little attended to by the generality, as long as they are able to say to themselves that women do not complain of it. That fact certainly enables men to retain the unjust privilege some time longer; but does not render it less unjust. Exactly the same thing may be said of the women in the harem of an Oriental: they do not complain of not being allowed the freedom of European women. They think our women insufferably bold and unfeminine. How rarely it is that even men complain of the general order of society; and how much rarer still would such complaint be, if they did not know of any different order existing anywhere else. Women do not complain of the general lot of women; or rather they do, for plaintive elegies on it are very common in the writings of women, and were still more so as long as the lamentations could not be suspected of having any practical object. Their complaints are like the complaints which men make of the [Pg 145] general unsatisfactoriness of human life; they are not meant to imply blame, or to plead for any change. But though women do not complain of the power of husbands, each complains of her own husband, or of the husbands of her friends. It is the same in all other cases of servitude, at least in the commencement of the emancipatory movement. The serfs did not at first complain of the power of their lords, but only of their tyranny. The Commons began by claiming a few municipal privileges; they next asked an exemption for themselves from being taxed without their own consent; but they would at that time have thought it a great presumption to claim any share in the king's sovereign authority. The case of women is now the only case in which to rebel against established rules is still looked upon with the same eyes as was formerly a subject's claim to the right of rebelling against his king. A woman who joins in any movement which her husband disapproves, makes herself a martyr, without even being able to be an apostle, for the husband can legally put a stop to her apostleship. Women cannot be expected to devote themselves to the emancipation of women, until men in considerable number are prepared to join with them in the undertaking.
The concessions made by those with privileges to those without them are rarely driven by anything better than the ability of the unprivileged to demand them. As long as people can convince themselves that women aren’t complaining, they’re likely to ignore arguments against the privileges of men. This mindset helps men keep their unfair advantages a little longer, but it doesn’t make those advantages any less unfair. The same can be said about women in an Oriental harem; they don't complain about not having the freedoms that European women enjoy. They find our women to be shockingly bold and unladylike. It’s rare for even men to voice dissatisfaction with the general state of society, and it’s even rarer if they don’t know that a different form of society exists somewhere else. Women often express grievances about their situation, though it’s common for them to write plaintive elegies on the subject, particularly when their lamentations aren't seen as having any practical purpose. Their complaints are similar to men’s complaints about the general unsatisfaction of life; they don’t intend to assign blame or argue for any change. While women may not complain about the authority of their husbands, each one tends to voice grievances about her own husband or those of her friends. This pattern is common in other forms of servitude, especially in the early stages of movements for freedom. Initially, serfs didn’t complain about their lords' power, just about their tyranny. The Commons started by claiming a few local privileges and later demanded not to be taxed without their consent. At that time, they would have thought it audacious to claim any share in the king’s sovereign authority. The situation of women is unique because challenging established norms is still viewed with the same scrutiny that once surrounded a subject's right to rebel against a king. A woman who participates in any movement her husband disapproves of becomes a martyr, unable to be an advocate, since her husband can legally stop her from speaking out. Women cannot be expected to fully commit to the emancipation of women until a significant number of men are ready to support them in this effort.
1: Especially is this true if we take into consideration Asia as well as Europe. If a Hindoo principality is strongly, vigilantly, and economically governed; if order is preserved without oppression; if cultivation is extending, and the people prosperous, in three cases out of four that principality is under a woman's rule. This fact, to me an entirely unexpected one, I have collected from a long official knowledge of Hindoo governments. There are many such instances: for though, by Hindoo institutions, a woman cannot reign, she is the legal regent of a kingdom during the minority of the heir; and minorities are frequent, the lives of the male rulers being so often prematurely terminated through the effect of inactivity and sensual excesses. When we consider that these princesses have never been seen in public, have never conversed with any man not of their own family except from behind a curtain, that they do not read, and if they did, there is no book in their languages which can give them the smallest instruction on political affairs; the example they afford of the natural capacity of women for government is very striking.
1: This is especially true when we consider both Asia and Europe. If a Hindu principality is well-managed, carefully governed, and economically sound; if order is maintained without oppression; and if agriculture is thriving, leading to a prosperous population, in three out of four cases, that principality is ruled by a woman. This fact was completely unexpected to me, and I gathered it from my extensive official knowledge of Hindu governments. There are many similar examples: although Hindu customs prevent a woman from officially ruling, she acts as the legal regent of the kingdom during the heir's minority, which occurs frequently since the lifespans of male rulers are often cut short by inactivity and indulgence. When we consider that these princesses have never appeared in public, have never spoken to any man outside their own family except from behind a curtain, that they do not read, and if they could, there are no books in their languages that would provide them with even minimal understanding of political matters; the fact that they demonstrate the natural ability of women to govern is quite striking.
2: “It appears to be the same right turn of mind which enables a man to acquire the truth, or the just idea of what is right, in the ornaments, as in the more stable principles of art. It has still the same centre of perfection, though it is the centre of a smaller circle.—To illustrate this by the fashion of dress, in which there is allowed to be a good or bad taste. The component parts of dress are continually changing from great to little, from short to long; but the general form still remains: it is still the same general dress which is comparatively fixed, though on a very slender foundation; but it is on this which fashion must rest. He who invents with the most success, or dresses in the best taste, would probably, from the same sagacity employed to greater purposes, have discovered equal skill, or have formed the same correct taste, in the highest labours of art.”—Sir Joshua Reynolds' Discourses, Disc. vii. [Pg 146]
2: “It seems to be the same mindset that allows someone to grasp the truth, or the correct idea of what is right, in fashion as well as in the more enduring principles of art. It maintains the same core of excellence, even though it is centered around a smaller scope. To illustrate this with fashion, where there is an allowance for good or bad taste. The elements of clothing constantly shift from large to small, from short to long; however, the overall form remains: it is still the same general style of dress that is relatively stable, even though it stands on a very flimsy basis; yet it is upon this that fashion must rely. Whoever invents with the most success, or dresses with the best taste, would likely, using the same insight applied to greater matters, discover similar skill or develop a comparable sense of taste in the highest forms of art.”—Sir Joshua Reynolds' Discourses, Disc. vii. [Pg 146]
CHAPTER IV.
There remains a question, not of less importance than those already discussed, and which will be asked the most importunately by those opponents whose conviction is somewhat shaken on the main point. What good are we to expect from the changes proposed in our customs and institutions? Would mankind be at all better off if women were free? If not, why disturb their minds, and attempt to make a social revolution in the name of an abstract right?
There’s still a question that’s just as important as the ones we’ve already talked about, and it’s one that those who are uncertain about the main issue will ask the most. What benefits can we expect from the proposed changes to our customs and institutions? Would humanity truly be better off if women were granted freedom? If not, why unsettle their minds and try to create a social revolution in the name of an abstract right?
It is hardly to be expected that this question will be asked in respect to the change proposed in the condition of women in marriage. The sufferings, immoralities, evils of all sorts, produced in innumerable cases by the subjection of individual women to individual men, are far too terrible to be overlooked. Unthinking or uncandid persons, counting those cases alone which are extreme, or which attain publicity, may say that the evils are exceptional; but no one can be blind to their existence, nor, in many cases, [Pg 147] to their intensity. And it is perfectly obvious that the abuse of the power cannot be very much checked while the power remains. It is a power given, or offered, not to good men, or to decently respectable men, but to all men; the most brutal, and the most criminal. There is no check but that of opinion, and such men are in general within the reach of no opinion but that of men like themselves. If such men did not brutally tyrannize over the one human being whom the law compels to bear everything from them, society must already have reached a paradisiacal state. There could be no need any longer of laws to curb men's vicious propensities. Astræa must not only have returned to earth, but the heart of the worst man must have become her temple. The law of servitude in marriage is a monstrous contradiction to all the principles of the modern world, and to all the experience through which those principles have been slowly and painfully worked out. It is the sole case, now that negro slavery has been abolished, in which a human being in the plenitude of every faculty is delivered up to the tender mercies of another human being, in the hope forsooth that this other will use the power solely for the good of the person subjected to it. Marriage is the only actual bondage known to our law. There remain no legal slaves, except the mistress of every house. [Pg 148]
It’s hard to imagine that this question won’t be raised regarding the proposed changes to the status of women in marriage. The suffering, immorality, and various harms caused by the domination of individual women by individual men are simply too severe to ignore. People who either don’t think deeply or aren’t willing to confront the issue may point to rare extreme cases that gain public attention and claim that these problems are exceptions; however, no one can truly deny that they exist or, in many situations, their severity. It’s clear that the abuse of power can’t be significantly curbed as long as that power exists. This power is given to all men, rather than just to good or decent ones; it’s accessible even to the most brutal and criminal individuals. The only check on this power is public opinion, and generally, these men are only influenced by opinions from others like themselves. If such men didn’t cruelly dominate the one person who the law mandates must endure everything from them, society would have already reached a utopian state. There would be no need for laws to limit men’s harmful tendencies. Astræa would not only have returned to Earth, but even the worst man’s heart would have become her sanctuary. The legal framework of servitude in marriage is a shocking contradiction to the principles of today's world and all the hard-earned experiences that have shaped those principles. It’s now the only situation, since black slavery has been abolished, where a person with full faculties is left entirely at the mercy of another person, hoping that this other person will use their power solely for the benefit of that person. Marriage is the only true form of bondage acknowledged by our laws. There are no legal slaves left, except for every house’s mistress.
It is not, therefore, on this part of the subject, that the question is likely to be asked, Cui bono? We may be told that the evil would outweigh the good, but the reality of the good admits of no dispute. In regard, however, to the larger question, the removal of women's disabilities—their recognition as the equals of men in all that belongs to citizenship—the opening to them of all honourable employments, and of the training and education which qualifies for those employments—there are many persons for whom it is not enough that the inequality has no just or legitimate defence; they require to be told what express advantage would be obtained by abolishing it.
It is not, therefore, on this part of the subject that the question is likely to be asked, Cui bono? We may hear that the negative aspects would outweigh the positive ones, but the reality of the benefits is undeniable. However, regarding the broader issue of removing women's disabilities—their recognition as equals to men in all matters of citizenship—the opportunity to pursue all respectable jobs, and the education and training necessary for those jobs—there are many who don’t think it’s enough that there is no valid or legitimate reason for the inequality; they want to know what specific benefits would come from eliminating it.
To which let me first answer, the advantage of having the most universal and pervading of all human relations regulated by justice instead of injustice. The vast amount of this gain to human nature, it is hardly possible, by any explanation or illustration, to place in a stronger light than it is placed by the bare statement, to any one who attaches a moral meaning to words. All the selfish propensities, the self-worship, the unjust self-preference, which exist among mankind, have their source and root in, and derive their principal nourishment from, the present constitution of the relation between men and women. Think what it is to a boy, to grow up to manhood in the [Pg 149] belief that without any merit or any exertion of his own, though he may be the most frivolous and empty or the most ignorant and stolid of mankind, by the mere fact of being born a male he is by right the superior of all and every one of an entire half of the human race: including probably some whose real superiority to himself he has daily or hourly occasion to feel; but even if in his whole conduct he habitually follows a woman's guidance, still, if he is a fool, she thinks that of course she is not, and cannot be, equal in ability and judgment to himself; and if he is not a fool, he does worse—he sees that she is superior to him, and believes that, notwithstanding her superiority, he is entitled to command and she is bound to obey. What must be the effect on his character, of this lesson? And men of the cultivated classes are often not aware how deeply it sinks into the immense majority of male minds. For, among right-feeling and well-bred people, the inequality is kept as much as possible out of sight; above all, out of sight of the children. As much obedience is required from boys to their mother as to their father: they are not permitted to domineer over their sisters, nor are they accustomed to see these postponed to them, but the contrary; the compensations of the chivalrous feeling being made prominent, while the servitude which requires them is kept in the background. [Pg 150] Well brought-up youths in the higher classes thus often escape the bad influences of the situation in their early years, and only experience them when, arrived at manhood, they fall under the dominion of facts as they really exist. Such people are little aware, when a boy is differently brought up, how early the notion of his inherent superiority to a girl arises in his mind; how it grows with his growth and strengthens with his strength; how it is inoculated by one schoolboy upon another; how early the youth thinks himself superior to his mother, owing her perhaps forbearance, but no real respect; and how sublime and sultan-like a sense of superiority he feels, above all, over the woman whom he honours by admitting her to a partnership of his life. Is it imagined that all this does not pervert the whole manner of existence of the man, both as an individual and as a social being? It is an exact parallel to the feeling of a hereditary king that he is excellent above others by being born a king, or a noble by being born a noble. The relation between husband and wife is very like that between lord and vassal, except that the wife is held to more unlimited obedience than the vassal was. However the vassal's character may have been affected, for better and for worse, by his subordination, who can help seeing that the lord's was affected greatly for the worse? whether he was [Pg 151] led to believe that his vassals were really superior to himself, or to feel that he was placed in command over people as good as himself, for no merits or labours of his own, but merely for having, as Figaro says, taken the trouble to be born. The self-worship of the monarch, or of the feudal superior, is matched by the self-worship of the male. Human beings do not grow up from childhood in the possession of unearned distinctions, without pluming themselves upon them. Those whom privileges not acquired by their merit, and which they feel to be disproportioned to it, inspire with additional humility, are always the few, and the best few. The rest are only inspired with pride, and the worst sort of pride, that which values itself upon accidental advantages, not of its own achieving. Above all, when the feeling of being raised above the whole of the other sex is combined with personal authority over one individual among them; the situation, if a school of conscientious and affectionate forbearance to those whose strongest points of character are conscience and affection, is to men of another quality a regularly constituted Academy or Gymnasium for training them in arrogance and overbearingness; which vices, if curbed by the certainty of resistance in their intercourse with other men, their equals, break out towards all who are in a position to be obliged to tolerate them, and often revenge themselves [Pg 152] upon the unfortunate wife for the involuntary restraint which they are obliged to submit to elsewhere.
Let me first respond by highlighting the benefit of having the most fundamental and widespread of all human relationships governed by justice instead of injustice. It's nearly impossible to stress the immense benefit this brings to humanity in a more powerful way than by simply stating it, especially to anyone who assigns moral significance to words. All the selfish tendencies, self-adoration, and unjust self-preference that exist among people stem from and mainly feed off the current nature of the relationship between men and women. Think about what it means for a boy to grow up into manhood believing that, without any merit or effort of his own—whether he is the most superficial and empty-minded or the most ignorant and dull—simply by being born male, he is entitled to be superior to half of the human race. This includes likely some individuals whose genuine superiority he feels acutely on a daily basis; yet, even if he constantly follows a woman’s guidance, if he is foolish, he thinks she is naturally not, and cannot be, equal in ability and judgment to him. If he is not foolish, the situation is worse—he notices her superiority and believes that, despite it, he is entitled to command and she is obligated to obey. What impact does this lesson have on his character? Men from educated backgrounds often don’t realize how deeply this idea is ingrained in the overwhelming majority of male minds. Among decent and well-mannered people, this inequality is hidden as much as possible—especially from children. Boys are expected to show as much obedience to their mothers as to their fathers; they are not allowed to dominate their sisters, nor do they usually see their sisters being subordinated to them. Instead, the values of chivalric honor are emphasized, while the servitude that necessitates this is kept in the background. Well-raised young men in higher classes often avoid the negative influences of this situation early on, only to confront them later in life as they face the reality of how things truly are. Such individuals are largely unaware, when they see a boy raised differently, just how early he develops the notion of his inherent superiority over girls; how this belief grows alongside him and strengthens as he matures; how it is transmitted from one schoolboy to another; how early he begins to feel superior to his mother, perhaps out of a sense of her forbearance rather than genuine respect; and how grand and kingly he feels about being superior, especially over the woman he grants the honor of sharing his life with. Is it really believed that all of this does not corrupt the entire nature of a man’s existence, both as an individual and within society? It’s quite similar to the feeling a hereditary king has that he is better than others simply by being born a king, or a noble by being born a noble. The relationship between husband and wife closely resembles that between a lord and a vassal, except that the wife is expected to show more unconditional obedience than the vassal was. Regardless of how the vassal’s character might have been shaped—whether for better or worse—who can deny that the lord was significantly affected for the worse? Whether he was made to believe that his vassals were genuinely superior to him or to feel that he was in charge of people just as good as him for no merits or efforts of his own, but simply for having, as Figaro puts it, taken the trouble to be born. The self-adoration of the monarch or feudal lord is mirrored in the self-adoration of males. People don’t grow from childhood with unearned distinctions without taking pride in them. Those few rare individuals whom privileges—unearned and felt to be disproportionate—humble typically form the best kind. The majority, on the other hand, become infused with pride—the worst kind of pride, which stems from accidental advantages that they have not achieved on their own. Above all, when the feeling of being elevated above the entire other sex is coupled with personal authority over one individual among them, the situation, which could be a space for conscientious and affectionate restraint for those whose strongest traits are conscience and affection, becomes a structured environment for training men of a different disposition in arrogance and overbearing behavior. If these vices are curbed by the certainty of resistance during interactions with other men, their equals, they often erupt towards anyone obliged to tolerate them, often taking out their frustrations on their unfortunate wives for the involuntary restraint they must submit to elsewhere.
The example afforded, and the education given to the sentiments, by laying the foundation of domestic existence upon a relation contradictory to the first principles of social justice, must, from the very nature of man, have a perverting influence of such magnitude, that it is hardly possible with our present experience to raise our imaginations to the conception of so great a change for the better as would be made by its removal. All that education and civilization are doing to efface the influences on character of the law of force, and replace them by those of justice, remains merely on the surface, as long as the citadel of the enemy is not attacked. The principle of the modern movement in morals and politics, is that conduct, and conduct alone, entitles to respect: that not what men are, but what they do, constitutes their claim to deference; that, above all, merit, and not birth, is the only rightful claim to power and authority. If no authority, not in its nature temporary, were allowed to one human being over another, society would not be employed in building up propensities with one hand which it has to curb with the other. The child would really, for the first time in man's existence on earth, be trained in the way he should go, and [Pg 153] when he was old there would be a chance that he would not depart from it. But so long as the right of the strong to power over the weak rules in the very heart of society, the attempt to make the equal right of the weak the principle of its outward actions will always be an uphill struggle; for the law of justice, which is also that of Christianity, will never get possession of men's inmost sentiments; they will be working against it, even when bending to it.
The example provided and the education given to people's feelings, by basing domestic life on a relationship that contradicts the basic principles of social justice, must, by the very nature of humanity, have such a profound negative effect that it's nearly impossible for us, with our current experience, to imagine the enormous positive change that would come from its elimination. Everything that education and civilization are doing to erase the impact of the law of force on character and replace it with principles of justice remains superficial, as long as the root of the problem isn't addressed. The core idea of the modern movement in ethics and politics is that behavior, and behavior alone, earns respect: that it's not who people are, but what they do that establishes their claim to respect; that merit, not background, is the only legitimate basis for power and authority. If no authority, other than temporary, was granted to one person over another, society wouldn’t be busy fostering tendencies with one hand while trying to suppress them with the other. The child would truly be raised, for the first time in human history, in a way that guides him correctly, and when he grows up, there would be a real chance that he wouldn’t stray from it. But as long as the strong maintain their right to dominate the weak at the very core of society, any attempt to make the equal rights of the weak the foundation of its external actions will always be a difficult battle; for the law of justice, which is also the law of Christianity, will never truly take hold of people's deepest feelings; they will resist it, even while submitting to it.
The second benefit to be expected from giving to women the free use of their faculties, by leaving them the free choice of their employments, and opening to them the same field of occupation and the same prizes and encouragements as to other human beings, would be that of doubling the mass of mental faculties available for the higher service of humanity. Where there is now one person qualified to benefit mankind and promote the general improvement, as a public teacher, or an administrator of some branch of public or social affairs, there would then be a chance of two. Mental superiority of any kind is at present everywhere so much below the demand; there is such a deficiency of persons competent to do excellently anything which it requires any considerable amount of ability to do; that the loss to the world, by refusing to make use of one-half of the whole quantity of talent it possesses, is [Pg 154] extremely serious. It is true that this amount of mental power is not totally lost. Much of it is employed, and would in any case be employed, in domestic management, and in the few other occupations open to women; and from the remainder indirect benefit is in many individual cases obtained, through the personal influence of individual women over individual men. But these benefits are partial; their range is extremely circumscribed; and if they must be admitted, on the one hand, as a deduction from the amount of fresh social power that would be acquired by giving freedom to one-half of the whole sum of human intellect, there must be added, on the other, the benefit of the stimulus that would be given to the intellect of men by the competition; or (to use a more true expression) by the necessity that would be imposed on them of deserving precedency before they could expect to obtain it.
The second benefit of giving women complete freedom to use their abilities, by allowing them to choose their jobs and opening up the same opportunities and rewards as available to others, would be the ability to double the available mental resources for the betterment of humanity. Where there is currently one person capable of contributing to society as a public teacher or administrator in public or social affairs, there could be two. Right now, mental talent of any kind is greatly underrepresented compared to the demand; there is a significant shortage of people who can excel in tasks that require substantial skill. Thus, the world suffers serious losses by not utilizing half of its available talent, which is [Pg 154] extremely concerning. It’s true that this mental power isn't entirely wasted. Much of it is used, and would be regardless, in household management and in the few other roles open to women; and from the remaining potential, indirect benefits arise through the personal influence of certain women over certain men. However, these benefits are limited in scope; their impact is very narrow; and while they must be considered as a deduction from the new social power gained by allowing the freedom of half of human intellect, we must also factor in the advantages gained from the competition that would stimulate men’s intellect. Or, more accurately, by the necessity placed on them to earn their status if they wish to achieve it.
This great accession to the intellectual power of the species, and to the amount of intellect available for the good management of its affairs, would be obtained, partly, through the better and more complete intellectual education of women, which would then improve pari passu with that of men. Women in general would be brought up equally capable of understanding business, public affairs, and the higher matters of speculation, with men in the same class of society; and the select [Pg 155] few of the one as well as of the other sex, who were qualified not only to comprehend what is done or thought by others, but to think or do something considerable themselves, would meet with the same facilities for improving and training their capacities in the one sex as in the other. In this way, the widening of the sphere of action for women would operate for good, by raising their education to the level of that of men, and making the one participate in all improvements made in the other. But independently of this, the mere breaking down of the barrier would of itself have an educational virtue of the highest worth. The mere getting rid of the idea that all the wider subjects of thought and action, all the things which are of general and not solely of private interest, are men's business, from which women are to be warned off—positively interdicted from most of it, coldly tolerated in the little which is allowed them—the mere consciousness a woman would then have of being a human being like any other, entitled to choose her pursuits, urged or invited by the same inducements as any one else to interest herself in whatever is interesting to human beings, entitled to exert the share of influence on all human concerns which belongs to an individual opinion, whether she attempted actual participation in them or not—this alone would effect an immense expansion of [Pg 156] the faculties of women, as well as enlargement of the range of their moral sentiments.
This significant increase in the intellectual capacity of humanity and the amount of intellect available for managing its affairs would be achieved, in part, through better and more comprehensive education for women, which would then progress alongside that of men. Generally, women would be raised to be equally capable of understanding business, public affairs, and higher-level ideas, just like men from the same social class; and the select few from both sexes who were qualified not only to grasp what others do or think but also to contribute meaningfully themselves would have the same opportunities to develop their skills as each other. In this way, expanding the roles available to women would be beneficial by elevating their education to match that of men and allowing both to share in the advancements made by the other. Beyond this, simply breaking down the barriers would have immense educational value. Eliminating the notion that all broader topics of thought and action, along with everything of general rather than just private interest, are strictly men’s territory, from which women are advised to stay away—often disregarded in the small aspects that are permitted to them—the awareness that a woman would have of being a human being like anyone else, entitled to pursue her interests, encouraged or invited by the same motivations as everyone else to engage with whatever fascinates humans, and entitled to exercise her influence on all human matters, whether she actively participates or not—this alone would lead to a significant expansion of the abilities of women as well as a broadening of their moral perspectives.
Besides the addition to the amount of individual talent available for the conduct of human affairs, which certainly are not at present so abundantly provided in that respect that they can afford to dispense with one-half of what nature proffers; the opinion of women would then possess a more beneficial, rather than a greater, influence upon the general mass of human belief and sentiment. I say a more beneficial, rather than a greater influence; for the influence of women over the general tone of opinion has always, or at least from the earliest known period, been very considerable. The influence of mothers on the early character of their sons, and the desire of young men to recommend themselves to young women, have in all recorded times been important agencies in the formation of character, and have determined some of the chief steps in the progress of civilization. Even in the Homeric age, αιδως towards the Τρωαδας ἑλκεσιπεπλους is an acknowledged and powerful motive of action in the great Hector. The moral influence of women has had two modes of operation. First, it has been a softening influence. Those who were most liable to be the victims of violence, have naturally tended as much as they could towards limiting its sphere and mitigating [Pg 157] its excesses. Those who were not taught to fight, have naturally inclined in favour of any other mode of settling differences rather than that of fighting. In general, those who have been the greatest sufferers by the indulgence of selfish passion, have been the most earnest supporters of any moral law which offered a means of bridling passion. Women were powerfully instrumental in inducing the northern conquerors to adopt the creed of Christianity, a creed so much more favourable to women than any that preceded it. The conversion of the Anglo-Saxons and of the Franks may be said to have been begun by the wives of Ethelbert and Clovis. The other mode in which the effect of women's opinion has been conspicuous, is by giving a powerful stimulus to those qualities in men, which, not being themselves trained in, it was necessary for them that they should find in their protectors. Courage, and the military virtues generally, have at all times been greatly indebted to the desire which men felt of being admired by women: and the stimulus reaches far beyond this one class of eminent qualities, since, by a very natural effect of their position, the best passport to the admiration and favour of women has always been to be thought highly of by men. From the combination of the two kinds of moral influence thus exercised by women, arose the spirit [Pg 158] of chivalry: the peculiarity of which is, to aim at combining the highest standard of the warlike qualities with the cultivation of a totally different class of virtues—those of gentleness, generosity, and self-abnegation, towards the non-military and defenceless classes generally, and a special submission and worship directed towards women; who were distinguished from the other defenceless classes by the high rewards which they had it in their power voluntarily to bestow on those who endeavoured to earn their favour, instead of extorting their subjection. Though the practice of chivalry fell even more sadly short of its theoretic standard than practice generally falls below theory, it remains one of the most precious monuments of the moral history of our race; as a remarkable instance of a concerted and organized attempt by a most disorganized and distracted society, to raise up and carry into practice a moral ideal greatly in advance of its social condition and institutions; so much so as to have been completely frustrated in the main object, yet never entirely inefficacious, and which has left a most sensible, and for the most part a highly valuable impress on the ideas and feelings of all subsequent times.
Aside from the increase in the amount of individual talent available for managing human affairs, which definitely isn’t so plentiful right now that we can afford to ignore half of what nature offers, the perspective of women would then have a more positive, rather than just a greater, influence on the overall beliefs and sentiments of humanity. I mean a more positive, rather than a greater influence; because the impact of women on the general tone of opinion has always been significant, at least since the earliest known periods. The influence of mothers on the early character of their sons, and young men’s desire to impress young women, have historically been crucial in shaping character and have determined key steps in the progress of civilization. Even in the time of Homer, respect towards the Trojan women was an acknowledged and powerful motivator for the great Hector. The moral influence of women operates in two ways. First, it serves as a softening force. Those most vulnerable to violence have naturally tended, as much as they could, to limit its scope and reduce its excesses. Those who weren’t trained to fight have generally preferred any other way to resolve conflicts instead of fighting. In general, those who have suffered the most from selfish passions have been the strongest advocates for any moral law that provides a way to control those passions. Women played a significant role in persuading the northern conquerors to adopt Christianity, a belief system that was much more favorable to women than any that came before it. The conversion of the Anglo-Saxons and Franks could be said to have begun with the wives of Ethelbert and Clovis. The other way women’s opinions have had a noticeable effect is by strongly encouraging qualities in men that, since they were not inherently possessed, needed to be found in their protectors. Courage and military virtues have always relied heavily on men's desire to be admired by women; and this motivation extends far beyond this one category of admirable traits, as the best way for men to gain women’s admiration and favor has always been to be respected by other men. From the combination of these two kinds of moral influence exercised by women arose the spirit of chivalry, which uniquely aims to combine the highest standards of martial qualities with the development of entirely different virtues—like kindness, generosity, and selflessness toward the vulnerable and defenseless, along with a specific reverence and admiration for women; who were set apart from other defenseless groups by the significant rewards they had the power to willingly bestow on those who sought to earn their favor, rather than forcing submission. Although the practice of chivalry fell even more short of its theoretical ideals than is usual, it remains one of the most valuable examples of our moral history; as a notable instance of a coordinated attempt by a disorganized and troubled society to strengthen and implement a moral ideal that was ahead of its social state and institutions. While it largely failed in its primary goal, it was never completely ineffective, leaving a meaningful and mostly positive impact on the ideas and feelings of all later times.
The chivalrous ideal is the acme of the influence of women's sentiments on the moral cultivation of mankind: and if women are to remain in their subordinate situation, it were [Pg 159] greatly to be lamented that the chivalrous standard should have passed away, for it is the only one at all capable of mitigating the demoralizing influences of that position. But the changes in the general state of the species rendered inevitable the substitution of a totally different ideal of morality for the chivalrous one. Chivalry was the attempt to infuse moral elements into a state of society in which everything depended for good or evil on individual prowess, under the softening influences of individual delicacy and generosity. In modern societies, all things, even in the military department of affairs, are decided, not by individual effort, but by the combined operations of numbers; while the main occupation of society has changed from fighting to business, from military to industrial life. The exigencies of the new life are no more exclusive of the virtues of generosity than those of the old, but it no longer entirely depends on them. The main foundations of the moral life of modern times must be justice and prudence; the respect of each for the rights of every other, and the ability of each to take care of himself. Chivalry left without legal check all forms of wrong which reigned unpunished throughout society; it only encouraged a few to do right in preference to wrong, by the direction it gave to the instruments of praise and admiration. But the real dependence [Pg 160] of morality must always be upon its penal sanctions—its power to deter from evil. The security of society cannot rest on merely rendering honour to right, a motive so comparatively weak in all but a few, and which on very many does not operate at all. Modern society is able to repress wrong through all departments of life, by a fit exertion of the superior strength which civilization has given it, and thus to render the existence of the weaker members of society (no longer defenceless but protected by law) tolerable to them, without reliance on the chivalrous feelings of those who are in a position to tyrannize. The beauties and graces of the chivalrous character are still what they were, but the rights of the weak, and the general comfort of human life, now rest on a far surer and steadier support; or rather, they do so in every relation of life except the conjugal.
The ideal of chivalry is the peak of how women’s feelings have influenced the moral development of humanity. If women are to stay in their subordinate roles, it’s truly unfortunate that the chivalrous standard has faded away, as it was the only one able to lessen the negative effects of such a position. However, changes in society made it inevitable to replace the chivalrous ideal with a completely different moral standard. Chivalry was an effort to introduce moral values into a society where everything good or bad depended on individual skill, softened by personal kindness and generosity. In modern societies, decisions are made not by individual actions but through the combined efforts of many people, while the main focus has shifted from warfare to business and from military life to industrial life. The needs of this new existence do not exclude the virtues of generosity any more than the old did, but it no longer relies solely on them. The foundation of modern moral life must be justice and caution; respecting each person’s rights and ensuring that everyone can take care of themselves. Chivalry left many wrongs unchecked, allowing them to go unpunished throughout society; it only encouraged a few to choose right over wrong by influencing the way praise and admiration were directed. However, true moral dependence must always rely on its penal consequences—its ability to deter wrongdoing. The safety of society cannot be based solely on honoring what is right; this motivation is relatively weak for most people, and for many, it doesn’t motivate them at all. Modern society can prevent wrongs across all areas of life by effectively using the greater strength that civilization provides, making the lives of its vulnerable members (now protected by law, no longer defenseless) more bearable without relying on the chivalrous feelings of those in power to avoid tyranny. The virtues and charms of the chivalrous character remain unchanged, but the rights of the vulnerable and the general well-being of human life now have a much more reliable and stable foundation; or rather, this is true in all aspects of life except for marriage.
At present the moral influence of women is no less real, but it is no longer of so marked and definite a character: it has more nearly merged in the general influence of public opinion. Both through the contagion of sympathy, and through the desire of men to shine in the eyes of women, their feelings have great effect in keeping alive what remains of the chivalrous ideal—in fostering the sentiments and continuing the traditions of spirit and generosity. In these [Pg 161] points of character, their standard is higher than that of men; in the quality of justice, somewhat lower. As regards the relations of private life it may be said generally, that their influence is, on the whole, encouraging to the softer virtues, discouraging to the sterner: though the statement must be taken with all the modifications dependent on individual character. In the chief of the greater trials to which virtue is subject in the concerns of life—the conflict between interest and principle—the tendency of women's influence is of a very mixed character. When the principle involved happens to be one of the very few which the course of their religious or moral education has strongly impressed upon themselves, they are potent auxiliaries to virtue: and their husbands and sons are often prompted by them to acts of abnegation which they never would have been capable of without that stimulus. But, with the present education and position of women, the moral principles which have been impressed on them cover but a comparatively small part of the field of virtue, and are, moreover, principally negative; forbidding particular acts, but having little to do with the general direction of the thoughts and purposes. I am afraid it must be said, that disinterestedness in the general conduct of life—the devotion of the energies to purposes which hold [Pg 162] out no promise of private advantages to the family—is very seldom encouraged or supported by women's influence. It is small blame to them that they discourage objects of which they have not learnt to see the advantage, and which withdraw their men from them, and from the interests of the family. But the consequence is that women's influence is often anything but favourable to public virtue.
Right now, the moral influence of women is still very real, but it isn’t as clear-cut as it once was; it's more blended into the overall influence of public opinion. Through their ability to empathize and the desire of men to impress women, women's feelings play a significant role in keeping alive what’s left of the chivalrous ideal as well as encouraging sentiments of spirit and generosity. In terms of character, their standard is higher than men’s in some areas, but a bit lower regarding justice. When it comes to private life, their influence generally promotes gentler virtues while discouraging harsher ones; though this can vary significantly based on individual character. In the face of major life challenges—like the struggle between self-interest and principle—women's influence can be quite mixed. When the principle at stake is one of the few that their religious or moral upbringing has firmly instilled in them, they become strong backers of virtue. Their husbands and sons often find themselves motivated by them to make sacrifices they wouldn’t have considered otherwise. However, with how women are currently educated and positioned, the moral principles they hold cover only a small portion of what we think of as virtue and are mostly negative—mainly prohibiting specific actions without really guiding broader thoughts and intentions. Unfortunately, it's fair to say that selflessness in everyday life—the dedication of energy to causes that offer no promise of personal gain for the family—is rarely encouraged or supported by women's influence. It’s not entirely their fault for discouraging pursuits they don’t see the benefit in, especially when those pursuits take men away from them and the family’s interests. The outcome is that women's influence often doesn't promote public virtue.
Women have, however, some share of influence in giving the tone to public moralities since their sphere of action has been a little widened, and since a considerable number of them have occupied themselves practically in the promotion of objects reaching beyond their own family and household. The influence of women counts for a great deal in two of the most marked features of modern European life—its aversion to war, and its addiction to philanthropy. Excellent characteristics both; but unhappily, if the influence of women is valuable in the encouragement it gives to these feelings in general, in the particular applications the direction it gives to them is at least as often mischievous as useful. In the philanthropic department more particularly, the two provinces chiefly cultivated by women are religious proselytism and charity. Religious proselytism at home, is but another word for embittering of religious animosities: abroad, it is usually a [Pg 163] blind running at an object, without either knowing or heeding the fatal mischiefs—fatal to the religious object itself as well as to all other desirable objects—which may be produced by the means employed. As for charity, it is a matter in which the immediate effect on the persons directly concerned, and the ultimate consequence to the general good, are apt to be at complete war with one another: while the education given to women—an education of the sentiments rather than of the understanding—and the habit inculcated by their whole life, of looking to immediate effects on persons, and not to remote effects on classes of persons—make them both unable to see, and unwilling to admit, the ultimate evil tendency of any form of charity or philanthropy which commends itself to their sympathetic feelings. The great and continually increasing mass of unenlightened and shortsighted benevolence, which, taking the care of people's lives out of their own hands, and relieving them from the disagreeable consequences of their own acts, saps the very foundations of the self-respect, self-help, and self-control which are the essential conditions both of individual prosperity and of social virtue—this waste of resources and of benevolent feelings in doing harm instead of good, is immensely swelled by women's contributions, and stimulated by their influence. Not that this is [Pg 164] a mistake likely to be made by women, where they have actually the practical management of schemes of beneficence. It sometimes happens that women who administer public charities—with that insight into present fact, and especially into the minds and feelings of those with whom they are in immediate contact, in which women generally excel men—recognise in the clearest manner the demoralizing influence of the alms given or the help afforded, and could give lessons on the subject to many a male political economist. But women who only give their money, and are not brought face to face with the effects it produces, how can they be expected to foresee them? A woman born to the present lot of women, and content with it, how should she appreciate the value of self-dependence? She is not self-dependent; she is not taught self-dependence; her destiny is to receive everything from others, and why should what is good enough for her be bad for the poor? Her familiar notions of good are of blessings descending from a superior. She forgets that she is not free, and that the poor are; that if what they need is given to them unearned, they cannot be compelled to earn it: that everybody cannot be taken care of by everybody, but there must be some motive to induce people to take care of themselves; and that to be helped to help themselves, if they are physically capable [Pg 165] of it, is the only charity which proves to be charity in the end.
Women do have some influence in shaping public morals since their roles have expanded a bit, and many are actively involved in causes beyond their own families and households. Their influence significantly contributes to two prominent aspects of modern European life—its dislike of war and its commitment to philanthropy. Both are admirable traits, but unfortunately, while women's influence can encourage these positive feelings in general, the specific ways they apply this influence can often be as harmful as they are helpful. In philanthropy, women mainly engage in religious proselytism and charity. Religious proselytism at home often just stirs up religious tensions, while abroad it usually results in a reckless pursuit of goals without an awareness of the serious harm—both to the religious mission itself and other important objectives—that might come from the methods used. Regarding charity, the immediate impact on those directly involved often conflicts with the broader benefits to society. This is compounded by the education women receive, which focuses more on emotions than understanding, and their lifelong habit of prioritizing immediate effects on individuals over the long-term effects on groups. This makes them both unable to see and unwilling to accept the potential negative outcomes of any charity or philanthropic effort that appeals to their compassion. The vast and ever-growing wave of unconsidered and short-sighted goodwill, which takes care of people’s lives out of their own hands and shields them from the unpleasant consequences of their choices, undermines the very foundations of self-respect, self-reliance, and self-control—essential for both individual success and social virtue. This misallocation of resources and caring intentions that ends up doing more harm than good is greatly inflated by women's contributions and encouraged by their influence. Not that women are typically mistaken when they oversee charitable initiatives directly. Sometimes, women who manage public charities—who generally excel beyond men in understanding the present situation and especially the thoughts and feelings of those closest to them—clearly recognize the demoralizing effects of the aid given and could teach many male economists about it. But how can women who simply donate money, without witnessing its effects firsthand, be expected to anticipate them? A woman accustomed to her current situation and content with it might not appreciate the importance of self-reliance. She isn’t self-reliant; she hasn’t been taught to be. Her role is to receive everything from others, so why would what’s suitable for her be inappropriate for the poor? Her common understanding of goodness comes from blessings given by someone in a superior position. She forgets that she lacks freedom, while the poor have it; that when what they need is handed to them without effort, they aren’t compelled to earn it: that not everyone can be cared for by everyone else, but there must be some reason to motivate people to look after themselves. Helping them to help themselves, if they are physically able, is the only form of charity that ultimately proves beneficial.
These considerations show how usefully the part which women take in the formation of general opinion, would be modified for the better by that more enlarged instruction, and practical conversancy with the things which their opinions influence, that would necessarily arise from their social and political emancipation. But the improvement it would work through the influence they exercise, each in her own family, would be still more remarkable.
These points illustrate how beneficial it would be for women's role in shaping public opinion to improve through better education and hands-on experience with the issues their views affect, which would naturally come from their social and political freedom. However, the change it would bring through the impact they have within their own families would be even more significant.
It is often said that in the classes most exposed to temptation, a man's wife and children tend to keep him honest and respectable, both by the wife's direct influence, and by the concern he feels for their future welfare. This may be so, and no doubt often is so, with those who are more weak than wicked; and this beneficial influence would be preserved and strengthened under equal laws; it does not depend on the woman's servitude, but is, on the contrary, diminished by the disrespect which the inferior class of men always at heart feel towards those who are subject to their power. But when we ascend higher in the scale, we come among a totally different set of moving forces. The wife's influence tends, as far as it goes, to prevent the husband from falling below the common standard [Pg 166] of approbation of the country. It tends quite as strongly to hinder him from rising above it. The wife is the auxiliary of the common public opinion. A man who is married to a woman his inferior in intelligence, finds her a perpetual dead weight, or, worse than a dead weight, a drag, upon every aspiration of his to be better than public opinion requires him to be. It is hardly possible for one who is in these bonds, to attain exalted virtue. If he differs in his opinion from the mass—if he sees truths which have not yet dawned upon them, or if, feeling in his heart truths which they nominally recognise, he would like to act up to those truths more conscientiously than the generality of mankind—to all such thoughts and desires, marriage is the heaviest of drawbacks, unless he be so fortunate as to have a wife as much above the common level as he himself is.
It’s often said that in situations where temptation is strong, a man's wife and kids usually help him stay honest and respectable, both through the wife's direct influence and because he cares about their future welfare. This might be true, and it probably is for those who are more weak than wicked; this positive influence can be maintained and enhanced under fair laws. It doesn’t rely on the woman’s subservience, but rather, it is weakened by the disrespect that lower-class men generally feel toward those they have power over. However, as we look at higher social levels, we encounter a completely different set of motivating forces. The wife's influence, as far as it goes, helps keep the husband from dropping below the common standard of approval in society. At the same time, it also strongly discourages him from rising above it. The wife acts as an ally of public opinion. A man married to a woman who is less intelligent than he is finds her a constant burden, or even worse, a drag on every aspiration to be better than what society expects of him. It’s nearly impossible for someone in this situation to achieve noble virtue. If he has different opinions from the majority—if he sees truths that haven’t yet occurred to them, or if, deep down, he feels truths they nominally acknowledge but wishes to pursue more earnestly than most people—then marriage serves as the greatest obstacle, unless he is fortunate enough to have a wife who is as exceptional as he is. [Pg 166]
For, in the first place, there is always some sacrifice of personal interest required; either of social consequence, or of pecuniary means; perhaps the risk of even the means of subsistence. These sacrifices and risks he may be willing to encounter for himself; but he will pause before he imposes them on his family. And his family in this case means his wife and daughters; for he always hopes that his sons will feel as he feels himself, and that what he can do without, they [Pg 167] will do without, willingly, in the same cause. But his daughters—their marriage may depend upon it: and his wife, who is unable to enter into or understand the objects for which these sacrifices are made—who, if she thought them worth any sacrifice, would think so on trust, and solely for his sake—who can participate in none of the enthusiasm or the self-approbation he himself may feel, while the things which he is disposed to sacrifice are all in all to her; will not the best and most unselfish man hesitate the longest before bringing on her this consequence? If it be not the comforts of life, but only social consideration, that is at stake, the burthen upon his conscience and feelings is still very severe. Whoever has a wife and children has given hostages to Mrs. Grundy. The approbation of that potentate may be a matter of indifference to him, but it is of great importance to his wife. The man himself may be above opinion, or may find sufficient compensation in the opinion of those of his own way of thinking. But to the women connected with him, he can offer no compensation. The almost invariable tendency of the wife to place her influence in the same scale with social consideration, is sometimes made a reproach to women, and represented as a peculiar trait of feebleness and childishness of character in them: surely with great injustice. [Pg 168] Society makes the whole life of a woman, in the easy classes, a continued self-sacrifice; it exacts from her an unremitting restraint of the whole of her natural inclinations, and the sole return it makes to her for what often deserves the name of a martyrdom, is consideration. Her consideration is inseparably connected with that of her husband, and after paying the full price for it, she finds that she is to lose it, for no reason of which she can feel the cogency. She has sacrificed her whole life to it, and her husband will not sacrifice to it a whim, a freak, an eccentricity; something not recognised or allowed for by the world, and which the world will agree with her in thinking a folly, if it thinks no worse! The dilemma is hardest upon that very meritorious class of men, who, without possessing talents which qualify them to make a figure among those with whom they agree in opinion, hold their opinion from conviction, and feel bound in honour and conscience to serve it, by making profession of their belief, and giving their time, labour, and means, to anything undertaken in its behalf. The worst case of all is when such men happen to be of a rank and position which of itself neither gives them, nor excludes them from, what is considered the best society; when their admission to it depends mainly on what is thought of them personally—and however unexceptionable [Pg 169] their breeding and habits, their being identified with opinions and public conduct unacceptable to those who give the tone to society would operate as an effectual exclusion. Many a woman flatters herself (nine times out of ten quite erroneously) that nothing prevents her and her husband from moving in the highest society of her neighbourhood—society in which others well known to her, and in the same class of life, mix freely—except that her husband is unfortunately a Dissenter, or has the reputation of mingling in low radical politics. That it is, she thinks, which hinders George from getting a commission or a place, Caroline from making an advantageous match, and prevents her and her husband from obtaining invitations, perhaps honours, which, for aught she sees, they are as well entitled to as some folks. With such an influence in every house, either exerted actively, or operating all the more powerfully for not being asserted, is it any wonder that people in general are kept down in that mediocrity of respectability which is becoming a marked characteristic of modern times?
Because, first of all, there’s always some sacrifice of personal interest involved; either of social standing or financial resources; perhaps even the risk of their means of living. He might be ready to face these sacrifices and risks for himself; however, he would think twice before putting them on his family. And in this situation, "family" refers to his wife and daughters; he always hopes that his sons will share his mindset and willingly do without what he can for the same cause. But for his daughters—their chances for marriage might hinge on it; and his wife, who cannot grasp the reasons for these sacrifices—who, if she thought they were worth any sacrifice, would only believe so because of him—who can’t share in the excitement or self-satisfaction he might feel, while what he is willing to give up means everything to her; wouldn’t even the best and most selfless man hesitate the longest before subjecting her to this outcome? If it’s not the comforts of life at stake, but only social standing, the burden on his conscience and feelings remains heavy. Anyone with a wife and children has given hostages to Mrs. Grundy. Her approval might not matter to him, but it’s very important to his wife. He might be above public opinion or find enough satisfaction in the views of like-minded people. But he can’t provide compensation for the women in his life. The consistent tendency of wives to weigh their influence against social standing is sometimes criticized as a weakness or childishness in them—an unfair judgment. Society makes a woman’s life, especially in comfortable circumstances, a constant form of self-sacrifice; it demands an unwavering suppression of her natural impulses, and the only compensation it offers for what often feels like a martyrdom is respect. Her respect is inextricably linked to that of her husband, and after paying fully for it, she finds that she will lose it for reasons that she can’t understand. She has devoted her whole life to it, and yet her husband won’t sacrifice even a whim, an eccentricity—something unrecognized or disregarded by the world, which would even agree with her that it seems foolish, if not worse! The challenge is hardest on those commendable men who, lacking the talents that would enable them to stand out among like-minded peers, hold their beliefs from conviction and feel a duty of honor and conscience to support it, dedicating their time, effort, and resources to any cause related to it. The worst situation occurs when such men find themselves in a rank and position that, by itself, neither grants nor excludes them from what is considered the best society; when access to it hinges mainly on personal reputation—and however respectable their upbringing and behavior might be, being associated with opinions and public actions that are rejected by those who define societal norms would result in their exclusion. Many women mistakenly believe (most often wrongly) that nothing is stopping her and her husband from mingling in the top social circles of their community—society where others of the same status interact freely—except that her husband happens to be a Dissenter, or is seen as involved with radical politics. She thinks that’s what prevents George from securing a commission or job, Caroline from making a good match, and stops her and her husband from receiving invitations, perhaps even honors, which, as far as she can see, they deserve as much as some others. With such influence in every household, whether actively exerted or operating all the more strongly because it’s unexpressed, is it any surprise that people generally remain stuck in the mediocrity of respectability that characterizes modern times?
There is another very injurious aspect in which the effect, not of women's disabilities directly, but of the broad line of difference which those disabilities create between the education and character of a woman and that of a man, requires to [Pg 170] be considered. Nothing can be more unfavourable to that union of thoughts and inclinations which is the ideal of married life. Intimate society between people radically dissimilar to one another, is an idle dream. Unlikeness may attract, but it is likeness which retains; and in proportion to the likeness is the suitability of the individuals to give each other a happy life. While women are so unlike men, it is not wonderful that selfish men should feel the need of arbitrary power in their own hands, to arrest in limine the life-long conflict of inclinations, by deciding every question on the side of their own preference. When people are extremely unlike, there can be no real identity of interest. Very often there is conscientious difference of opinion between married people, on the highest points of duty. Is there any reality in the marriage union where this takes place? Yet it is not uncommon anywhere, when the woman has any earnestness of character; and it is a very general case indeed in Catholic countries, when she is supported in her dissent by the only other authority to which she is taught to bow, the priest. With the usual barefacedness of power not accustomed to find itself disputed, the influence of priests over women is attacked by Protestant and Liberal writers, less for being bad in itself, than because it is a rival authority to the husband, and raises up a revolt against his infallibility. [Pg 171] In England, similar differences occasionally exist when an Evangelical wife has allied herself with a husband of a different quality; but in general this source at least of dissension is got rid of, by reducing the minds of women to such a nullity, that they have no opinions but those of Mrs. Grundy, or those which the husband tells them to have. When there is no difference of opinion, differences merely of taste may be sufficient to detract greatly from the happiness of married life. And though it may stimulate the amatory propensities of men, it does not conduce to married happiness, to exaggerate by differences of education whatever may be the native differences of the sexes. If the married pair are well-bred and well-behaved people, they tolerate each other's tastes; but is mutual toleration what people look forward to, when they enter into marriage? These differences of inclination will naturally make their wishes different, if not restrained by affection or duty, as to almost all domestic questions which arise. What a difference there must be in the society which the two persons will wish to frequent, or be frequented by! Each will desire associates who share their own tastes: the persons agreeable to one, will be indifferent or positively disagreeable to the other; yet there can be none who are not common to both, for married people do not now live in different [Pg 172] parts of the house and have totally different visiting lists, as in the reign of Louis XV. They cannot help having different wishes as to the bringing up of the children: each will wish to see reproduced in them their own tastes and sentiments: and there is either a compromise, and only a half-satisfaction to either, or the wife has to yield—often with bitter suffering; and, with or without intention, her occult influence continues to counterwork the husband's purposes.
There’s another harmful aspect to consider, which isn’t just about women’s limitations, but the significant differences those limitations create between a woman's education and character compared to a man's. Nothing undermines the ideal of married life more than this. Close relationships between people who are fundamentally different are just a fanciful notion. Differences might draw people together, but it’s commonalities that keep them together; the more similar they are, the better suited they are to create a happy life together. As long as women and men are so different, it’s no surprise that selfish men feel the need for control, making decisions in their own favor to prevent a lifelong clash of desires. When people are extremely different, there’s no genuine overlap of interests. Often, there are sincere differences in opinion regarding important duties between married couples. Is there any real basis for marriage under those circumstances? It happens frequently when the woman has a strong character, particularly in Catholic countries, if her views are backed by the only other authority she respects, the priest. The influence of priests over women is criticized by Protestant and Liberal writers, not necessarily because it’s inherently wrong, but because it challenges the husband’s authority and leads to rebellion against his perceived infallibility. In England, similar differences sometimes exist when an Evangelical wife marries a man of a different outlook; however, often this source of conflict is eliminated by reducing women’s thoughts to the point where they only have opinions that align with societal norms or those dictated by their husbands. When there’s no disagreement, simple differences in preferences can still significantly impact marital happiness. While such differences may spark romantic interest, they don’t contribute to marital contentment, especially when educational disparities further highlight inherent gender differences. If both partners are well-mannered and considerate, they may tolerate each other’s preferences, but is mere tolerance what couples are hoping for when they marry? These differences in interests will naturally lead to different desires regarding almost every domestic issue that arises unless held in check by love or obligation. Imagine the contrast in the social circles both partners will want to engage with! Each will look for friends who share their tastes: those who appeal to one may not sit well with the other; yet, they cannot avoid having mutual friends, as married people today typically don’t live entirely separate lives as they did in the time of Louis XV. They inevitably have conflicting views on how to raise their children, each wanting to instill their own tastes and values. This leads to either compromise, resulting in only partial satisfaction for both, or the wife having to concede—often at great emotional cost; and regardless of intent, her hidden influence continues to undermine the husband’s objectives.
It would of course be extreme folly to suppose that these differences of feeling and inclination only exist because women are brought up differently from men, and that there would not be differences of taste under any imaginable circumstances. But there is nothing beyond the mark in saying that the distinction in bringing-up immensely aggravates those differences, and renders them wholly inevitable. While women are brought up as they are, a man and a woman will but rarely find in one another real agreement of tastes and wishes as to daily life. They will generally have to give it up as hopeless, and renounce the attempt to have, in the intimate associate of their daily life, that idem velle, idem nolle, which is the recognised bond of any society that is really such: or if the man succeeds in obtaining it, he does so by choosing a woman who is so complete a nullity that she has no [Pg 173] velle or nolle at all, and is as ready to comply with one thing as another if anybody tells her to do so. Even this calculation is apt to fail; dulness and want of spirit are not always a guarantee of the submission which is so confidently expected from them. But if they were, is this the ideal of marriage? What, in this case, does the man obtain by it, except an upper servant, a nurse, or a mistress? On the contrary, when each of two persons, instead of being a nothing, is a something; when they are attached to one another, and are not too much unlike to begin with; the constant partaking in the same things, assisted by their sympathy, draws out the latent capacities of each for being interested in the things which were at first interesting only to the other; and works a gradual assimilation of the tastes and characters to one another, partly by the insensible modification of each, but more by a real enriching of the two natures, each acquiring the tastes and capacities of the other in addition to its own. This often happens between two friends of the same sex, who are much associated in their daily life: and it would be a common, if not the commonest, case in marriage, did not the totally different bringing-up of the two sexes make it next to an impossibility to form a really well-assorted union. Were this remedied, whatever differences there might still [Pg 174] be in individual tastes, there would at least be, as a general rule, complete unity and unanimity as to the great objects of life. When the two persons both care for great objects, and are a help and encouragement to each other in whatever regards these, the minor matters on which their tastes may differ are not all-important to them; and there is a foundation for solid friendship, of an enduring character, more likely than anything else to make it, through the whole of life, a greater pleasure to each to give pleasure to the other, than to receive it.
It would obviously be a huge mistake to think that these differences in feelings and preferences only exist because women are raised differently from men, and that there wouldn't be differences in taste under any circumstances. However, it’s fair to say that the difference in upbringing greatly intensifies those differences and makes them completely unavoidable. As long as women are raised this way, a man and a woman will rarely find real agreement in their tastes and desires regarding everyday life. They'll usually have to accept that it's hopeless and give up on finding that idem velle, idem nolle, which is the recognized bond of any true society: or if a man does manage to find it, he does so by choosing a woman who is so passive that she has no [Pg 173] velle or nolle at all, and will comply with whatever anyone tells her to do. Even this assumption often fails; dullness and lack of spirit are not always a guarantee of the submission that is expected from them. But if they were, is this the ideal of marriage? What, in this scenario, does the man gain from it, other than an upper servant, a nurse, or a mistress? On the other hand, when two people, instead of being nothing, are something; when they are connected and not too dissimilar to start with; the constant sharing of experiences, supported by their mutual understanding, brings out each person's hidden potential to become interested in things that were initially only interesting to the other; and creates a gradual blending of their tastes and personalities, partly through subtle changes in each, but more through a real enrichment of both natures, each gaining the tastes and abilities of the other alongside their own. This often occurs between two friends of the same sex who spend a lot of time together: and it would be a common, if not the most common, situation in marriage, if the vastly different upbringings of the two sexes didn’t make it nearly impossible to form a truly compatible union. If this were addressed, whatever individual differences in tastes might still exist, there would at least generally be complete unity and harmony regarding the major goals in life. When both people care about significant matters and support and uplift each other in these regards, the minor issues where their tastes differ become less important; and a foundation for a strong friendship, likely to last a lifetime, is established, making it more of a pleasure for each to give joy to the other than to receive it.
I have considered, thus far, the effects on the pleasures and benefits of the marriage union which depend on the mere unlikeness between the wife and the husband: but the evil tendency is prodigiously aggravated when the unlikeness is inferiority. Mere unlikeness, when it only means difference of good qualities, may be more a benefit in the way of mutual improvement, than a drawback from comfort. When each emulates, and desires and endeavours to acquire, the other's peculiar qualities, the difference does not produce diversity of interest, but increased identity of it, and makes each still more valuable to the other. But when one is much the inferior of the two in mental ability and cultivation, and is not actively attempting by the other's aid to rise to the other's level, the whole influence of the connexion upon [Pg 175] the development of the superior of the two is deteriorating: and still more so in a tolerably happy marriage than in an unhappy one. It is not with impunity that the superior in intellect shuts himself up with an inferior, and elects that inferior for his chosen, and sole completely intimate, associate. Any society which is not improving, is deteriorating: and the more so, the closer and more familiar it is. Even a really superior man almost always begins to deteriorate when he is habitually (as the phrase is) king of his company: and in his most habitual company the husband who has a wife inferior to him is always so. While his self-satisfaction is incessantly ministered to on the one hand, on the other he insensibly imbibes the modes of feeling, and of looking at things, which belong to a more vulgar or a more limited mind than his own. This evil differs from many of those which have hitherto been dwelt on, by being an increasing one. The association of men with women in daily life is much closer and more complete than it ever was before. Men's life is more domestic. Formerly, their pleasures and chosen occupations were among men, and in men's company: their wives had but a fragment of their lives. At the present time, the progress of civilization, and the turn of opinion against the rough amusements and convivial excesses which formerly occupied most men [Pg 176] in their hours of relaxation—together with (it must be said) the improved tone of modern feeling as to the reciprocity of duty which binds the husband towards the wife—have thrown the man very much more upon home and its inmates, for his personal and social pleasures: while the kind and degree of improvement which has been made in women's education, has made them in some degree capable of being his companions in ideas and mental tastes, while leaving them, in most cases, still hopelessly inferior to him. His desire of mental communion is thus in general satisfied by a communion from which he learns nothing. An unimproving and unstimulating companionship is substituted for (what he might otherwise have been obliged to seek) the society of his equals in powers and his fellows in the higher pursuits. We see, accordingly, that young men of the greatest promise generally cease to improve as soon as they marry, and, not improving, inevitably degenerate. If the wife does not push the husband forward, she always holds him back. He ceases to care for what she does not care for; he no longer desires, and ends by disliking and shunning, society congenial to his former aspirations, and which would now shame his falling-off from them; his higher faculties both of mind and heart cease to be called into activity. And this change coinciding with the new and [Pg 177] selfish interests which are created by the family, after a few years he differs in no material respect from those who have never had wishes for anything but the common vanities and the common pecuniary objects.
I have considered, so far, the effects on the pleasures and benefits of marriage that come from just the differences between the wife and husband: but the negative impact is significantly worse when those differences involve inferiority. Simple differences in good qualities might benefit mutual improvement more than detract from comfort. When each partner strives to imitate and acquire the other's unique qualities, the differences foster greater shared interests, making each partner even more valuable to the other. However, when one partner is clearly intellectually and culturally inferior and doesn’t actively seek to elevate themselves with the help of the other, the overall influence of the relationship on the more capable partner’s development is harmful—more so in a relatively happy marriage than in an unhappy one. The intellectually superior partner cannot escape the consequences of being with an inferior partner, choosing that person as their sole close companion. Any relationship that isn’t improving is deteriorating, and the closer and more intimate it is, the more it deteriorates. Even a truly superior individual tends to decline when they’re always the dominant one among their peers; in their closest relationships, the husband who has a wife who is lesser than him is always in that position. While his self-satisfaction is continually fed on one side, he unconsciously absorbs the feelings and perspectives typical of a more ordinary or limited mind. This issue differs from many previously discussed because it is an escalating one. The daily interactions between men and women are much closer and more complete than ever before. Men's lives are more domestic now. In the past, their pleasures and chosen pastimes were mostly found among men and with male company; their wives occupied only a small part of their lives. Currently, the advancement of civilization and a shift in attitudes against the rougher pleasures and social excesses that once preoccupied most men during their leisure time—along with the improved sense of mutual responsibility that binds husbands and wives—has led men to spend much more time at home and with their families for social enjoyment. Meanwhile, the advancement in women's education has made them somewhat capable of being companions in thoughts and intellectual interests, even though they often remain significantly inferior. His desire for mental connection is usually met by a relationship that offers him nothing new to learn. A stagnant and uninspiring companionship replaces what he might have otherwise sought: the company of equals and peers in more meaningful pursuits. Consequently, we see that young men with the greatest potential often stop growing as soon as they marry, and without that growth, they inevitably decline. If the wife doesn’t inspire the husband, she always holds him back. He stops caring about what she doesn't care about; he no longer desires, and eventually ends up disliking and avoiding the company that aligns with his previous aspirations, which now highlight his regression. His higher intellectual and emotional faculties are no longer engaged. This shift coincides with the new and selfish interests that arise from family life, and after a few years, he doesn’t differ materially from those who have never aspired to anything beyond common vanities and ordinary financial goals.
What marriage may be in the case of two persons of cultivated faculties, identical in opinions and purposes, between whom there exists that best kind of equality, similarity of powers and capacities with reciprocal superiority in them—so that each can enjoy the luxury of looking up to the other, and can have alternately the pleasure of leading and of being led in the path of development—I will not attempt to describe. To those who can conceive it, there is no need; to those who cannot, it would appear the dream of an enthusiast. But I maintain, with the profoundest conviction, that this, and this only, is the ideal of marriage; and that all opinions, customs, and institutions which favour any other notion of it, or turn the conceptions and aspirations connected with it into any other direction, by whatever pretences they may be coloured, are relics of primitive barbarism. The moral regeneration of mankind will only really commence, when the most fundamental of the social relations is placed under the rule of equal justice, and when human beings learn to cultivate their strongest sympathy with an equal in rights and in cultivation. [Pg 178]
What marriage can be like for two people with refined minds, who share the same opinions and goals, and have a deep sense of equality—where they have similar abilities and strengths, allowing each to admire the other, and take turns leading and being led in their growth—I won’t try to describe. For those who can imagine it, there's no need; for those who can’t, it might seem like the fantasy of a dreamer. But I firmly believe that this, and only this, is the ideal of marriage; and that all beliefs, customs, and institutions that support a different view of it, or misdirect the ideas and hopes connected to it, no matter how they are justified, are remnants of ancient barbarism. True moral progress for humanity will only begin when the most fundamental social relationship is governed by equal justice, and when people learn to build their strongest connections with someone who is equal in rights and development. [Pg 178]
Thus far, the benefits which it has appeared that the world would gain by ceasing to make sex a disqualification for privileges and a badge of subjection, are social rather than individual; consisting in an increase of the general fund of thinking and acting power, and an improvement in the general conditions of the association of men with women. But it would be a grievous understatement of the case to omit the most direct benefit of all, the unspeakable gain in private happiness to the liberated half of the species; the difference to them between a life of subjection to the will of others, and a life of rational freedom. After the primary necessities of food and raiment, freedom is the first and strongest want of human nature. While mankind are lawless, their desire is for lawless freedom. When they have learnt to understand the meaning of duty and the value of reason, they incline more and more to be guided and restrained by these in the exercise of their freedom; but they do not therefore desire freedom less; they do not become disposed to accept the will of other people as the representative and interpreter of those guiding principles. On the contrary, the communities in which the reason has been most cultivated, and in which the idea of social duty has been most powerful, are those which have most strongly asserted the freedom [Pg 179] of action of the individual—the liberty of each to govern his conduct by his own feelings of duty, and by such laws and social restraints as his own conscience can subscribe to.
So far, the advantages that the world would gain by stopping the practice of making sex a reason to deny privileges and a mark of subjugation are more social than individual. They include an increase in overall thinking and acting power and an improvement in how men and women interact. However, it would be a significant understatement to overlook the most direct benefit of all — the immense increase in personal happiness for the liberated half of humanity; the difference between living under the control of others and living a life of rational freedom. After meeting the basic needs of food and clothing, freedom is the most fundamental and pressing need of human nature. When people are unruly, their desire is for unfettered freedom. As they learn to understand the concepts of duty and the value of reason, they become more inclined to be guided and limited by these principles in exercising their freedom; but that doesn’t mean they desire freedom any less. They aren’t willing to accept others' will as the representative and interpreter of those guiding principles. In fact, the societies where reason has been most developed and where the concept of social duty is strongest are also those that most vigorously advocate for individual freedom—the right of each person to govern their actions according to their own sense of duty and the laws and social restrictions their conscience can support. [Pg 179]
He who would rightly appreciate the worth of personal independence as an element of happiness, should consider the value he himself puts upon it as an ingredient of his own. There is no subject on which there is a greater habitual difference of judgment between a man judging for himself, and the same man judging for other people. When he hears others complaining that they are not allowed freedom of action—that their own will has not sufficient influence in the regulation of their affairs—his inclination is, to ask, what are their grievances? what positive damage they sustain? and in what respect they consider their affairs to be mismanaged? and if they fail to make out, in answer to these questions, what appears to him a sufficient case, he turns a deaf ear, and regards their complaint as the fanciful querulousness of people whom nothing reasonable will satisfy. But he has a quite different standard of judgment when he is deciding for himself. Then, the most unexceptionable administration of his interests by a tutor set over him, does not satisfy his feelings: his personal exclusion from the deciding authority appears itself the greatest grievance of all, rendering it superfluous even to [Pg 180] enter into the question of mismanagement. It is the same with nations. What citizen of a free country would listen to any offers of good and skilful administration, in return for the abdication of freedom? Even if he could believe that good and skilful administration can exist among a people ruled by a will not their own, would not the consciousness of working out their own destiny under their own moral responsibility be a compensation to his feelings for great rudeness and imperfection in the details of public affairs? Let him rest assured that whatever he feels on this point, women feel in a fully equal degree. Whatever has been said or written, from the time of Herodotus to the present, of the ennobling influence of free government—the nerve and spring which it gives to all the faculties, the larger and higher objects which it presents to the intellect and feelings, the more unselfish public spirit, and calmer and broader views of duty, that it engenders, and the generally loftier platform on which it elevates the individual as a moral, spiritual, and social being—is every particle as true of women as of men. Are these things no important part of individual happiness? Let any man call to mind what he himself felt on emerging from boyhood—from the tutelage and control of even loved and affectionate elders—and entering upon the responsibilities of manhood. [Pg 181] Was it not like the physical effect of taking off a heavy weight, or releasing him from obstructive, even if not otherwise painful, bonds? Did he not feel twice as much alive, twice as much a human being, as before? And does he imagine that women have none of these feelings? But it is a striking fact, that the satisfactions and mortifications of personal pride, though all in all to most men when the case is their own, have less allowance made for them in the case of other people, and are less listened to as a ground or a justification of conduct, than any other natural human feelings; perhaps because men compliment them in their own case with the names of so many other qualities, that they are seldom conscious how mighty an influence these feelings exercise in their own lives. No less large and powerful is their part, we may assure ourselves, in the lives and feelings of women. Women are schooled into suppressing them in their most natural and most healthy direction, but the internal principle remains, in a different outward form. An active and energetic mind, if denied liberty, will seek for power: refused the command of itself, it will assert its personality by attempting to control others. To allow to any human beings no existence of their own but what depends on others, is giving far too high a premium on bending others to their purposes. [Pg 182] Where liberty cannot be hoped for, and power can, power becomes the grand object of human desire; those to whom others will not leave the undisturbed management of their own affairs, will compensate themselves, if they can, by meddling for their own purposes with the affairs of others. Hence also women's passion for personal beauty, and dress and display; and all the evils that flow from it, in the way of mischievous luxury and social immorality. The love of power and the love of liberty are in eternal antagonism. Where there is least liberty, the passion for power is the most ardent and unscrupulous. The desire of power over others can only cease to be a depraving agency among mankind, when each of them individually is able to do without it: which can only be where respect for liberty in the personal concerns of each is an established principle.
Those who truly understand the value of personal independence as part of happiness should reflect on how much they themselves value it in their own lives. There's no topic where people typically have such a stark difference in judgment—when judging for themselves versus judging for others. When he hears others complaining about a lack of freedom—their will not being influential enough in managing their lives—he tends to ask, what are their issues? What real harm are they experiencing? And how do they feel their affairs are being mismanaged? If their answers don’t seem substantial to him, he ignores them, viewing their complaints as the unreasonable grumbling of those who can never be satisfied by anything rational. But his perspective shifts entirely when it comes to his own situation. In that case, even the most perfect management of his affairs by someone else in charge doesn’t sit well with him: his exclusion from the decision-making authority feels like the biggest grievance, making it pointless to even discuss any potential mismanagement. The same applies to nations. What citizen in a free nation would entertain any offers of good administration in exchange for surrendering their freedom? Even if he could believe that effective governance can occur under a system that doesn’t allow for self-rule, wouldn’t the awareness of steering their own future with personal moral responsibility outweigh any frustration with poor public administration? Rest assured, whatever he feels about this, women feel just as strongly. Everything that has been said or written about the uplifting effects of free government—the energy and motivation it provides for all human faculties, the broader aspirations it offers to intellect and emotions, the greater sense of public spirit and clearer duty it fosters, and the higher moral, spiritual, and social standards it creates for individuals—applies equally to women as it does to men. Are these not critical components of individual happiness? Let any man recall how he felt transitioning from boyhood—from the guidance and control of even well-loved elders—to the responsibilities of adulthood. Wasn’t it like lifting a heavy weight off his shoulders or breaking free from constraints that, while not painful, were still limiting? Didn’t he feel more alive, more truly human than before? Does he think women don’t experience these feelings? Yet, it's noteworthy that the pride and self-regard that matter so much to most men regarding themselves are often dismissed or less seriously considered when it comes to others. This is probably because men attach so many other labels to their own pride that they often overlook its significant impact on their lives. The influence of pride is equally strong in the lives and feelings of women. While women are often trained to suppress these emotions in their healthiest expression, the underlying principle still exists, manifesting in different ways. A keen and energetic mind, when denied freedom, will seek power; if it can't assert control over itself, it will try to impose its will on others. To deny any human beings the ability to exist independently from others is to create an excessive incentive for manipulating others to meet their needs. When freedom is unattainable but power is, power becomes the ultimate desire. Those who cannot manage their own affairs without interference will seek to influence others' matters for their own benefit. This also explains women’s obsession with personal beauty, fashion, and status, along with the harm that results in terms of excess and social immorality. The desire for power and the desire for freedom are in constant conflict. In situations where freedom is at its lowest, the craving for power is most intense and ruthless. The urge to control others can cease to be a corrupting force among people only when each person can thrive independently—which can happen only when respect for individual liberty in personal matters is a firmly established principle.
But it is not only through the sentiment of personal dignity, that the free direction and disposal of their own faculties is a source of individual happiness, and to be fettered and restricted in it, a source of unhappiness, to human beings, and not least to women. There is nothing, after disease, indigence, and guilt, so fatal to the pleasurable enjoyment of life as the want of a worthy outlet for the active faculties. Women who have the cares of a family, and while they have the cares of a family, have this outlet, and it generally [Pg 183] suffices for them: but what of the greatly increasing number of women, who have had no opportunity of exercising the vocation which they are mocked by telling them is their proper one? What of the women whose children have been lost to them by death or distance, or have grown up, married, and formed homes of their own? There are abundant examples of men who, after a life engrossed by business, retire with a competency to the enjoyment, as they hope, of rest, but to whom, as they are unable to acquire new interests and excitements that can replace the old, the change to a life of inactivity brings ennui, melancholy, and premature death. Yet no one thinks of the parallel case of so many worthy and devoted women, who, having paid what they are told is their debt to society—having brought up a family blamelessly to manhood and womanhood—having kept a house as long as they had a house needing to be kept—are deserted by the sole occupation for which they have fitted themselves; and remain with undiminished activity but with no employment for it, unless perhaps a daughter or daughter-in-law is willing to abdicate in their favour the discharge of the same functions in her younger household. Surely a hard lot for the old age of those who have worthily discharged, as long as it was given to them to discharge, what the world accounts their only [Pg 184] social duty. Of such women, and of those others to whom this duty has not been committed at all—many of whom pine through life with the consciousness of thwarted vocations, and activities which are not suffered to expand—the only resources, speaking generally, are religion and charity. But their religion, though it may be one of feeling, and of ceremonial observance, cannot be a religion of action, unless in the form of charity. For charity many of them are by nature admirably fitted; but to practise it usefully, or even without doing mischief, requires the education, the manifold preparation, the knowledge and the thinking powers, of a skilful administrator. There are few of the administrative functions of government for which a person would not be fit, who is fit to bestow charity usefully. In this as in other cases (pre-eminently in that of the education of children), the duties permitted to women cannot be performed properly, without their being trained for duties which, to the great loss of society, are not permitted to them. And here let me notice the singular way in which the question of women's disabilities is frequently presented to view, by those who find it easier to draw a ludicrous picture of what they do not like, than to answer the arguments for it. When it is suggested that women's executive capacities and prudent counsels might sometimes [Pg 185] be found valuable in affairs of state, these lovers of fun hold up to the ridicule of the world, as sitting in parliament or in the cabinet, girls in their teens, or young wives of two or three and twenty, transported bodily, exactly as they are, from the drawing-room to the House of Commons. They forget that males are not usually selected at this early age for a seat in Parliament, or for responsible political functions. Common sense would tell them that if such trusts were confided to women, it would be to such as having no special vocation for married life, or preferring another employment of their faculties (as many women even now prefer to marriage some of the few honourable occupations within their reach), have spent the best years of their youth in attempting to qualify themselves for the pursuits in which they desire to engage; or still more frequently perhaps, widows or wives of forty or fifty, by whom the knowledge of life and faculty of government which they have acquired in their families, could by the aid of appropriate studies be made available on a less contracted scale. There is no country of Europe in which the ablest men have not frequently experienced, and keenly appreciated, the value of the advice and help of clever and experienced women of the world, in the attainment both of private and of public objects; and [Pg 186] there are important matters of public administration to which few men are equally competent with such women; among others, the detailed control of expenditure. But what we are now discussing is not the need which society has of the services of women in public business, but the dull and hopeless life to which it so often condemns them, by forbidding them to exercise the practical abilities which many of them are conscious of, in any wider field than one which to some of them never was, and to others is no longer, open. If there is anything vitally important to the happiness of human beings, it is that they should relish their habitual pursuit. This requisite of an enjoyable life is very imperfectly granted, or altogether denied, to a large part of mankind; and by its absence many a life is a failure, which is provided, in appearance, with every requisite of success. But if circumstances which society is not yet skilful enough to overcome, render such failures often for the present inevitable, society need not itself inflict them. The injudiciousness of parents, a youth's own inexperience, or the absence of external opportunities for the congenial vocation, and their presence for an uncongenial, condemn numbers of men to pass their lives in doing one thing reluctantly and ill, when there are other things which they could have done well and happily. But on [Pg 187] women this sentence is imposed by actual law, and by customs equivalent to law. What, in unenlightened societies, colour, race, religion, or in the case of a conquered country, nationality, are to some men, sex is to all women; a peremptory exclusion from almost all honourable occupations, but either such as cannot be fulfilled by others, or such as those others do not think worthy of their acceptance. Sufferings arising from causes of this nature usually meet with so little sympathy, that few persons are aware of the great amount of unhappiness even now produced by the feeling of a wasted life. The case will be even more frequent, as increased cultivation creates a greater and greater disproportion between the ideas and faculties of women, and the scope which society allows to their activity.
But it's not just the feeling of personal dignity that makes having control over their own abilities a source of happiness for individuals—being restricted in this control is a source of unhappiness for people, especially women. After illness, poverty, and guilt, nothing is as detrimental to enjoying life as not having a meaningful outlet for one's abilities. Women who have family responsibilities usually have this outlet, and it often suffices for them. But what about the growing number of women who haven't had the chance to pursue the vocations they are told are suitable for them? What about the women whose children have been taken from them by death or distance, or who have grown up and started their own families? There are plenty of examples of men who, after spending their lives focused on work, retire with enough to live comfortably, hoping to enjoy their rest. But when they can't find new interests and excitement to replace the old, the switch to a more inactive life leads to boredom, sadness, and early death. Yet no one considers the similar plight of many devoted women who, after fulfilling what society tells them is their duty—raising a family responsibly—are left without the sole role they've prepared for. They are still full of energy but have no way to channel it unless perhaps a daughter or daughter-in-law will let them take over household duties. It's certainly a tough situation for those who have honorably fulfilled their social duties for as long as they could. For such women, and many others who have never had this duty at all—many of whom long for missed opportunities and the chance to expand their activities—the only usual outlets are religion and charity. However, their religion, even if it's based on feeling and ritual, can't be one of action unless it takes the form of charity. Many of them are well-suited by nature to practice charity, but doing it effectively, or even without causing harm, requires the education, preparation, knowledge, and thinking skills of a capable administrator. Few administrative roles in government can be fulfilled by someone who isn’t also fit to offer charity effectively. In this and other cases—especially in the education of children—the tasks assigned to women can't be performed well without proper training for the responsibilities that society unfortunately doesn’t allow them. Here, I want to point out the odd way that the issue of women's limitations is often portrayed by those who find it easier to mock what they oppose than to respond to legitimate arguments. When it’s suggested that women’s skills and wise advice might be valuable in government, those who like to joke ridicule the idea by imagining teen girls or young wives in their twenties sitting in Parliament or the cabinet as if they’ve been physically transported from the drawing-room to the House of Commons. They overlook that men are rarely chosen for such roles at such a young age. Common sense suggests that if women were entrusted with these responsibilities, it would be those who either have no interest in married life or prefer to use their skills in other ways. Many women even prefer certain honorable professions over marriage, spending their best years trying to qualify for the pursuits they wish to engage in. More often, it could be widows or older wives, around forty or fifty, who have gained life experience and knowledge of management within their families and could apply that experience more broadly with the right education. No European country lacks examples of highly capable men who have recognized and valued the advice and assistance of intelligent, experienced women in achieving both personal and public goals. There are key areas of public administration where few men are as competent as these women, especially when it comes to managing expenditures. But our current discussion isn’t about society's need for women’s contributions to public affairs; it’s about the dull and hopeless lives it often forces them into by preventing them from using their practical abilities in any area wider than what’s perhaps never available to some and is no longer available to others. If anything is crucial for people’s happiness, it’s that they enjoy their daily pursuits. This requirement for an enjoyable life is poorly met, or entirely denied, for many individuals, and the absence of this enjoyment can make otherwise seemingly successful lives feel like failures. While societal circumstances may sometimes make these failures unavoidable, society itself doesn’t need to impose them. Poor choices by parents, a young person’s inexperience, or a lack of opportunities for the right vocation while having plenty for the wrong one can force many men to spend their lives doing things they dislike rather than pursuing what they could do well and happily. However, for women, this constraint is enforced by law and customs akin to law. In less enlightened societies, what color, race, religion, or, in the case of a conquered nation, nationality are for some men, sex is for all women—a strict exclusion from nearly all respectable professions, except those that either can’t be done by others or that those others deem unworthy. The suffering that comes from these issues often goes unrecognized, so much so that few understand the extent of unhappiness stemming from a feeling of a life wasted. This situation is likely to happen even more frequently as increased education leads to greater disparities between women’s skills and the opportunities society permits them to pursue.
When we consider the positive evil caused to the disqualified half of the human race by their disqualification—first in the loss of the most inspiriting and elevating kind of personal enjoyment, and next in the weariness, disappointment, and profound dissatisfaction with life, which are so often the substitute for it; one feels that among all the lessons which men require for carrying on the struggle against the inevitable imperfections of their lot on earth, there is no lesson which they more need, than not to add to the evils which nature inflicts, by their jealous [Pg 188] and prejudiced restrictions on one another. Their vain fears only substitute other and worse evils for those which they are idly apprehensive of: while every restraint on the freedom of conduct of any of their human fellow creatures, (otherwise than by making them responsible for any evil actually caused by it), dries up pro tanto the principal fountain of human happiness, and leaves the species less rich, to an inappreciable degree, in all that makes life valuable to the individual human being.
When we think about the harm caused to the disqualified half of humanity by their disqualification—first, in losing the most uplifting and enriching kinds of personal enjoyment, and then, in the fatigue, disappointment, and deep dissatisfaction with life that often replace it—we realize that among all the lessons people need to cope with the inevitable imperfections of life on earth, there is none more important than to avoid adding to the troubles that nature brings with their jealous and biased restrictions on each other. Their unfounded fears only bring about other, greater evils than the ones they are worryingly concerned about: while every restriction on the freedom of others (other than holding them accountable for any actual harm caused) drains, to some extent, the main source of human happiness, leaving humanity significantly poorer in everything that makes life worthwhile for each individual.
THE END.
THE END.
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