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This Edition is intended for
circulation only in India
and the British Colonies
This edition is meant for
distribution only in India
and the British colonies
Macmillan’s Colonial Library
Macmillan’s Colonial Library
THE REAL THING
AND OTHER TALES
AND OTHER STORIES
BY
BY
HENRY JAMES
HENRY JAMES
London
MACMILLAN AND CO.
AND NEW YORK
1893
London
MACMILLAN AND CO.
AND NEW YORK
1893
Copyright,
1892,
By MACMILLAN & CO.
Copyright,
1892,
By MACMILLAN & CO.
Norwood
Press:
J. S. Cushing & Co.—Berwick
& Smith
Boston, Mass, U.S.A.
Norwood Press:
J. S. Cushing & Co.—Berwick
& Smith
Boston, MA, USA.
NOTE.
The second of the following tales bore, on its first appearance, in The Cosmopolitan, a different title.
The second of the following tales was first published in The Cosmopolitan under a different title.
CONTENTS.
|
PAGE PAGE |
The Real Thing The Real Deal |
|
Sir Dominick Ferrand Sir Dominick Ferrand |
|
Nona Vincent Nona Vincent |
|
The Chaperon The Chaperone |
|
Greville Fane Greville Fane |
p. 1THE REAL THING.
I.
When the porter’s wife (she used to answer the house-bell), announced “A gentleman—with a lady, sir,” I had, as I often had in those days, for the wish was father to the thought, an immediate vision of sitters. Sitters my visitors in this case proved to be; but not in the sense I should have preferred. However, there was nothing at first to indicate that they might not have come for a portrait. The gentleman, a man of fifty, very high and very straight, with a moustache slightly grizzled and a dark grey walking-coat admirably fitted, both of which I noted professionally—I don’t mean as a barber or yet as a tailor—would have struck me as a celebrity if celebrities often were striking. It was a truth of which I had for some time been conscious that a figure with a good deal of frontage was, as one might say, almost never a public institution. A glance at the lady helped to remind me of this paradoxical law: she also looked too distinguished to be a “personality.” Moreover one would scarcely come across two variations together.
When the porter's wife (who used to answer the doorbell) announced, “A gentleman—with a lady, sir,” I had, as I often did back then, the hopeful expectation of having sitters. Sitters, in this case, they turned out to be; but not in the way I would have liked. However, initially, there was nothing to suggest that they didn’t come for a portrait. The gentleman, a tall and upright man in his fifties, with a somewhat graying mustache and a perfectly fitted dark grey coat, caught my attention in a professional way—I don't mean as a barber or tailor. He would have struck me as a celebrity if celebrities were typically that striking. I had been increasingly aware that someone with a prominent presence was rarely a public figure. A quick look at the lady reinforced this odd truth: she also appeared too refined to be a “personality.” Besides, you wouldn’t generally encounter two such variations together.
Neither of the pair spoke immediately—they only prolonged the preliminary gaze which suggested that each wished to give the other a chance. They were visibly shy; they stood there letting me take them in—which, as I afterwards perceived, was the most practical thing they could have done. In this way their embarrassment served their cause. I had seen people painfully reluctant to mention that they desired anything so gross as to be represented on canvas; but the scruples of my new friends appeared almost insurmountable. Yet the gentleman might have said “I should like a portrait of my wife,” and the lady might have said “I should like a portrait of my husband.” Perhaps they were not husband and wife—this naturally would make the matter more delicate. Perhaps they wished to be done together—in which case they ought to have brought a third person to break the news.
Neither of them spoke right away—they just prolonged their initial gaze, suggesting that they both wanted to give the other a chance to say something. They were clearly shy; they stood there letting me observe them—which, as I later realized, was the smartest thing they could have done. In this way, their awkwardness actually helped their situation. I had seen people struggle to admit that they wanted something as simple as having their portrait painted; but my new friends seemed to have even greater hesitation. Still, the man could have said, “I’d like a portrait of my wife,” and the woman could have said, “I’d like a portrait of my husband.” Maybe they weren’t actually husband and wife—which would make things more complicated. Perhaps they wanted to be painted together—in which case, they should have brought a third person to help communicate that.
“We come from Mr. Rivet,” the lady said at last, with a dim smile which had the effect of a moist sponge passed over a “sunk” piece of painting, as well as of a vague allusion to vanished beauty. She was as tall and straight, in her degree, as her companion, and with ten years less to carry. She looked as sad as a woman could look whose face was not charged with expression; that is her tinted oval mask showed friction as an exposed surface shows it. The hand of time had played over her freely, but only to simplify. She was slim and stiff, and so well-dressed, in dark blue cloth, with lappets and pockets and buttons, that it was clear she employed the same tailor as her husband. The couple had an indefinable air of prosperous thrift—they evidently got a good deal of luxury for their money. If I was to be one of their luxuries it would behove me to consider my terms.
“We come from Mr. Rivet,” the lady finally said, with a faint smile that felt like a damp sponge wiped over a faded painting, hinting at lost beauty. She was as tall and straight, in her own way, as her companion, and had ten fewer years to bear. She looked as sad as someone can look without much expression; her tinted oval face showed wear like a surface that has been exposed to the elements. Time had left its mark on her, but in a simplifying way. She was slim and stiff, and so well-dressed in dark blue fabric, with flaps, pockets, and buttons, that it was clear she used the same tailor as her husband. The couple had an undefinable air of successful thrift—they clearly enjoyed a lot of luxury for their money. If I were to be one of their luxuries, I would need to think carefully about my conditions.
“Ah, Claude Rivet recommended me?” I inquired; and I added that it was very kind of him, though I could reflect that, as he only painted landscape, this was not a sacrifice.
“Ah, Claude Rivet recommended me?” I asked; and I mentioned that it was very nice of him, although I realized that, since he only painted landscapes, this wasn’t much of a sacrifice.
The lady looked very hard at the gentleman, and the gentleman looked round the room. Then staring at the floor a moment and stroking his moustache, he rested his pleasant eyes on me with the remark:
The lady stared intently at the gentleman, who was scanning the room. Then, after a moment of staring at the floor and stroking his mustache, he turned his friendly gaze toward me and said:
“He said you were the right one.”
"He said you were the one."
“I try to be, when people want to sit.”
“I try to be available when people want to sit.”
“Yes, we should like to,” said the lady anxiously.
“Yes, we would like to,” said the woman anxiously.
“Do you mean together?”
"Are you asking to collaborate?"
My visitors exchanged a glance. “If you could do anything with me, I suppose it would be double,” the gentleman stammered.
My visitors shared a look. “If you could do anything with me, I guess it would be double,” the guy stuttered.
“Oh yes, there’s naturally a higher charge for two figures than for one.”
“Oh yes, there’s definitely a higher charge for two figures than for one.”
“We should like to make it pay,” the husband confessed.
“We want it to be worth it,” the husband admitted.
“That’s very good of you,” I returned, appreciating so unwonted a sympathy—for I supposed he meant pay the artist.
"That’s really kind of you," I replied, appreciating such unusual sympathy—because I thought he meant to pay the artist.
A sense of strangeness seemed to dawn on the lady. “We mean for the illustrations—Mr. Rivet said you might put one in.”
A feeling of unfamiliarity started to wash over the lady. “We're talking about the illustrations—Mr. Rivet mentioned you might include one.”
“Put one in—an illustration?” I was equally confused.
“Put one in—an illustration?” I was just as confused.
“Sketch her off, you know,” said the gentleman, colouring.
“Take her off the sketch, you know,” said the gentleman, blushing.
It was only then that I understood the service Claude Rivet had rendered me; he had told them that I worked in black and white, for magazines, for story-books, for sketches of contemporary life, and consequently had frequent employment for models. These things were true, but it was not less true (I may confess it now—whether because the aspiration was to lead to everything or to nothing I leave the reader to guess), that I couldn’t get the honours, to say nothing of the emoluments, of a great painter of portraits out of my head. My “illustrations” were my pot-boilers; I looked to a different branch of art (far and away the most interesting it had always seemed to me), to perpetuate my fame. There was no shame in looking to it also to make my fortune; but that fortune was by so much further from being made from the moment my visitors wished to be “done” for nothing. I was disappointed; for in the pictorial sense I had immediately seen them. I had seized their type—I had already settled what I would do with it. Something that wouldn’t absolutely have pleased them, I afterwards reflected.
It was only then that I realized the favor Claude Rivet had done for me; he had told them that I worked in black and white, creating illustrations for magazines, storybooks, and sketches of modern life, which meant I often needed models. While that was true, it was also true (I can admit it now—whether because the aspiration was to lead to everything or to nothing, I’ll let the reader decide) that I couldn’t shake the desire to achieve the prestige, let alone the financial rewards, of being a great portrait painter. My “illustrations” were my bread and butter; I looked to a different area of art (which had always seemed to me the most interesting) to build my legacy. There was no shame in hoping it would also make me wealthy; but that wealth felt even further away now that my visitors wanted to be painted for free. I was disappointed; because in a visual sense, I had immediately seen them. I had captured their essence—I had already decided what I would do with it. It was something that probably wouldn’t have entirely pleased them, I later reflected.
“Ah, you’re—you’re—a—?” I began, as soon as I had mastered my surprise. I couldn’t bring out the dingy word “models”; it seemed to fit the case so little.
“Ah, you’re—you’re—a—?” I started, once I got over my shock. I couldn’t bring myself to say the dull word “models”; it just didn’t seem to fit at all.
“We haven’t had much practice,” said the lady.
“We haven’t practiced much,” said the lady.
“We’ve got to do something, and we’ve thought that an artist in your line might perhaps make something of us,” her husband threw off. He further mentioned that they didn’t know many artists and that they had gone first, on the off-chance (he painted views of course, but sometimes put in figures—perhaps I remembered), to Mr. Rivet, whom they had met a few years before at a place in Norfolk where he was sketching.
“We need to do something, and we thought that an artist like you might be able to help us,” her husband said casually. He added that they didn’t know many artists and that they had gone to Mr. Rivet first, just on the off-chance (he painted landscapes, of course, but sometimes included figures—maybe I remembered), since they had met him a few years ago at a place in Norfolk where he was sketching.
“We used to sketch a little ourselves,” the lady hinted.
“We used to do some sketching ourselves,” the lady suggested.
“It’s very awkward, but we absolutely must do something,” her husband went on.
“It’s really uncomfortable, but we definitely have to do something,” her husband continued.
“Of course, we’re not so very young,” she admitted, with a wan smile.
“Of course, we’re not that young,” she admitted, with a faint smile.
With the remark that I might as well know something more about them, the husband had handed me a card extracted from a neat new pocket-book (their appurtenances were all of the freshest) and inscribed with the words “Major Monarch.” Impressive as these words were they didn’t carry my knowledge much further; but my visitor presently added: “I’ve left the army, and we’ve had the misfortune to lose our money. In fact our means are dreadfully small.”
With the comment that I might as well learn more about them, the husband handed me a card taken from a tidy new wallet (everything they had was brand new) and written on it were the words “Major Monarch.” While those words were impressive, they didn't tell me much more; but my visitor went on to say: “I’ve left the army, and we’ve had the bad luck to lose our money. Actually, our resources are really limited.”
“It’s an awful bore,” said Mrs. Monarch.
“It’s such a boring drag,” said Mrs. Monarch.
They evidently wished to be discreet—to take care not to swagger because they were gentlefolks. I perceived they would have been willing to recognise this as something of a drawback, at the same time that I guessed at an underlying sense—their consolation in adversity—that they had their points. They certainly had; but these advantages struck me as preponderantly social; such for instance as would help to make a drawing-room look well. However, a drawing-room was always, or ought to be, a picture.
They clearly wanted to be discreet—to avoid showing off just because they were upper class. I sensed they were aware this could be a disadvantage, but there was also an underlying feeling—their comfort in tough times—that they had their strengths. And they definitely did; but these strengths seemed mostly social; for example, they would help make a living room look nice. Still, a living room was always, or should be, a work of art.
In consequence of his wife’s allusion to their age Major Monarch observed: “Naturally, it’s more for the figure that we thought of going in. We can still hold ourselves up.” On the instant I saw that the figure was indeed their strong point. His “naturally” didn’t sound vain, but it lighted up the question. “She has got the best,” he continued, nodding at his wife, with a pleasant after-dinner absence of circumlocution. I could only reply, as if we were in fact sitting over our wine, that this didn’t prevent his own from being very good; which led him in turn to rejoin: “We thought that if you ever have to do people like us, we might be something like it. She, particularly—for a lady in a book, you know.”
As a result of his wife mentioning their age, Major Monarch said, “Of course, it's more about the appearance that we considered going in. We can still carry ourselves well.” In that moment, I realized that their appearance was indeed their strong point. His “of course” didn’t come off as arrogant, but it highlighted the matter. “She has the best,” he continued, nodding at his wife, with a relaxed, post-dinner straightforwardness. I could only respond, as if we were truly enjoying our wine, that this didn’t stop his from being very good as well; which led him to reply: “We thought that if you ever have to write about people like us, we might serve as a good example. She, especially—for a female character in a book, you know.”
I was so amused by them that, to get more of it, I did my best to take their point of view; and though it was an embarrassment to find myself appraising physically, as if they were animals on hire or useful blacks, a pair whom I should have expected to meet only in one of the relations in which criticism is tacit, I looked at Mrs. Monarch judicially enough to be able to exclaim, after a moment, with conviction: “Oh yes, a lady in a book!” She was singularly like a bad illustration.
I was so entertained by them that, wanting more of it, I tried my best to see things from their perspective; and even though it felt awkward to find myself evaluating them physically, as if they were animals for rent or subservient people, a couple I would have expected to meet only in situations where criticism wasn’t spoken, I looked at Mrs. Monarch critically enough to eventually declare, with certainty: “Oh yes, a lady in a book!” She was strikingly similar to a poor illustration.
“We’ll stand up, if you like,” said the Major; and he raised himself before me with a really grand air.
“We'll stand up, if you'd like,” said the Major; and he stood up in front of me with a truly impressive demeanor.
I could take his measure at a glance—he was six feet two and a perfect gentleman. It would have paid any club in process of formation and in want of a stamp to engage him at a salary to stand in the principal window. What struck me immediately was that in coming to me they had rather missed their vocation; they could surely have been turned to better account for advertising purposes. I couldn’t of course see the thing in detail, but I could see them make someone’s fortune—I don’t mean their own. There was something in them for a waistcoat-maker, an hotel-keeper or a soap-vendor. I could imagine “We always use it” pinned on their bosoms with the greatest effect; I had a vision of the promptitude with which they would launch a table d’hôte.
I could size him up in an instant—he was six feet two and a total gentleman. Any emerging club looking for a face would have happily paid him to stand in the main window. What struck me right away was that by approaching me, they seemed to have missed their calling; they could definitely have been better utilized for marketing. I couldn't see the specifics, but I could tell they had the potential to make someone rich—I don’t mean themselves. There was something about them that would be great for a waistcoat-maker, a hotelier, or a soap salesmen. I could picture a “We always use it” badge pinned on their chests with maximum effect; I had a vision of how quickly they would roll out a set dinner.
Mrs. Monarch sat still, not from pride but from shyness, and presently her husband said to her: “Get up my dear and show how smart you are.” She obeyed, but she had no need to get up to show it. She walked to the end of the studio, and then she came back blushing, with her fluttered eyes on her husband. I was reminded of an incident I had accidentally had a glimpse of in Paris—being with a friend there, a dramatist about to produce a play—when an actress came to him to ask to be intrusted with a part. She went through her paces before him, walked up and down as Mrs. Monarch was doing. Mrs. Monarch did it quite as well, but I abstained from applauding. It was very odd to see such people apply for such poor pay. She looked as if she had ten thousand a year. Her husband had used the word that described her: she was, in the London current jargon, essentially and typically “smart.” Her figure was, in the same order of ideas, conspicuously and irreproachably “good.” For a woman of her age her waist was surprisingly small; her elbow moreover had the orthodox crook. She held her head at the conventional angle; but why did she come to me? She ought to have tried on jackets at a big shop. I feared my visitors were not only destitute, but “artistic”—which would be a great complication. When she sat down again I thanked her, observing that what a draughtsman most valued in his model was the faculty of keeping quiet.
Mrs. Monarch sat still, not out of pride but from shyness, and soon her husband said to her, “Get up, my dear, and show how smart you are.” She obeyed, but she didn’t need to get up to prove it. She walked to the end of the studio and then came back, blushing, with her fluttering eyes on her husband. I was reminded of an incident I had accidentally witnessed in Paris—being with a friend there, a playwright about to produce a play—when an actress approached him to ask for a role. She went through her routine in front of him, walking back and forth just like Mrs. Monarch was doing. Mrs. Monarch did it just as well, but I held back from applauding. It was quite strange to see someone like her applying for such low pay. She looked like she earned ten thousand a year. Her husband had used the word that described her: she was, in the current London slang, essentially and typically “smart.” Her figure was, in that same vein, notably and undeniably “good.” For a woman her age, her waist was surprisingly small; her elbow also had the traditional curve. She held her head at the usual angle; but why did she come to me? She should have been trying on jackets at a department store. I worried that my guests were not only broke but also “artistic”—which would be quite a complication. When she sat down again, I thanked her, noting that what a draftsman values most in a model is the ability to stay still.
“Oh, she can keep quiet,” said Major Monarch. Then he added, jocosely: “I’ve always kept her quiet.”
“Oh, she can stay quiet,” said Major Monarch. Then he added, jokingly: “I’ve always managed to keep her quiet.”
“I’m not a nasty fidget, am I?” Mrs. Monarch appealed to her husband.
“I’m not a horrible fidget, am I?” Mrs. Monarch asked her husband.
He addressed his answer to me. “Perhaps it isn’t out of place to mention—because we ought to be quite business-like, oughtn’t we?—that when I married her she was known as the Beautiful Statue.”
He directed his response to me. “Maybe it’s not inappropriate to say—since we should be rather professional, shouldn’t we?—that when I married her, she was referred to as the Beautiful Statue.”
“Oh dear!” said Mrs. Monarch, ruefully.
“Oh no!” said Mrs. Monarch, sadly.
“Of course I should want a certain amount of expression,” I rejoined.
“Of course, I want a certain amount of expression,” I replied.
“Of course!” they both exclaimed.
“Of course!” they both exclaimed.
“And then I suppose you know that you’ll get awfully tired.”
“And then I guess you know that you’ll get really tired.”
“Oh, we never get tired!” they eagerly cried.
“Oh, we never get tired!” they eagerly shouted.
“Have you had any kind of practice?”
“Have you had any kind of experience?”
They hesitated—they looked at each other. “We’ve been photographed, immensely,” said Mrs. Monarch.
They paused and exchanged glances. “We’ve been photographed a lot,” said Mrs. Monarch.
“She means the fellows have asked us,” added the Major.
“She means the guys have asked us,” added the Major.
“I see—because you’re so good-looking.”
"I get it—you're really attractive."
“I don’t know what they thought, but they were always after us.”
“I don’t know what they were thinking, but they were always chasing us.”
“We always got our photographs for nothing,” smiled Mrs. Monarch.
“We always got our photos for free,” smiled Mrs. Monarch.
“We might have brought some, my dear,” her husband remarked.
“We might have brought some, my dear,” her husband said.
“I’m not sure we have any left. We’ve given quantities away,” she explained to me.
“I’m not sure we have any left. We've given some away,” she explained to me.
“With our autographs and that sort of thing,” said the Major.
“With our signatures and that kind of stuff,” said the Major.
“Are they to be got in the shops?” I inquired, as a harmless pleasantry.
“Can you get them in the stores?” I asked, as a lighthearted joke.
“Oh, yes; hers—they used to be.”
“Oh, yes; they used to be hers.”
“Not now,” said Mrs. Monarch, with her eyes on the floor.
“Not now,” said Mrs. Monarch, looking down at the floor.
II.
I could fancy the “sort of thing” they put on the presentation-copies of their photographs, and I was sure they wrote a beautiful hand. It was odd how quickly I was sure of everything that concerned them. If they were now so poor as to have to earn shillings and pence, they never had had much of a margin. Their good looks had been their capital, and they had good-humouredly made the most of the career that this resource marked out for them. It was in their faces, the blankness, the deep intellectual repose of the twenty years of country-house visiting which had given them pleasant intonations. I could see the sunny drawing-rooms, sprinkled with periodicals she didn’t read, in which Mrs. Monarch had continuously sat; I could see the wet shrubberies in which she had walked, equipped to admiration for either exercise. I could see the rich covers the Major had helped to shoot and the wonderful garments in which, late at night, he repaired to the smoking-room to talk about them. I could imagine their leggings and waterproofs, their knowing tweeds and rugs, their rolls of sticks and cases of tackle and neat umbrellas; and I could evoke the exact appearance of their servants and the compact variety of their luggage on the platforms of country stations.
I could imagine the “kind of thing” they put on the presentation copies of their photos, and I was sure they had beautiful handwriting. It was strange how quickly I became certain about everything related to them. If they were so poor now that they had to earn shillings and pence, they had never really had much to spare. Their good looks had served as their capital, and they had cheerfully made the most of the paths this asset offered them. You could see it in their faces—the blankness, the deep intellectual calm from twenty years of visiting country houses, which had given them pleasant tones. I could picture the sunny drawing rooms filled with magazines she didn’t read, where Mrs. Monarch had spent so much time; I could see the damp shrubbery paths where she had walked, dressed perfectly for either exercise. I could visualize the rich game she had helped shoot and the stylish clothes in which, late at night, he went to the smoking room to talk about them. I could imagine their leggings and rain gear, their smart tweeds and blankets, their bags of fishing gear and neatly folded umbrellas; and I could picture exactly what their servants looked like and the organized variety of their luggage on the platforms of country train stations.
They gave small tips, but they were liked; they didn’t do anything themselves, but they were welcome. They looked so well everywhere; they gratified the general relish for stature, complexion and “form.” They knew it without fatuity or vulgarity, and they respected themselves in consequence. They were not superficial; they were thorough and kept themselves up—it had been their line. People with such a taste for activity had to have some line. I could feel how, even in a dull house, they could have been counted upon for cheerfulness. At present something had happened—it didn’t matter what, their little income had grown less, it had grown least—and they had to do something for pocket-money. Their friends liked them, but didn’t like to support them. There was something about them that represented credit—their clothes, their manners, their type; but if credit is a large empty pocket in which an occasional chink reverberates, the chink at least must be audible. What they wanted of me was to help to make it so. Fortunately they had no children—I soon divined that. They would also perhaps wish our relations to be kept secret: this was why it was “for the figure”—the reproduction of the face would betray them.
They gave small tips, but people liked them; they didn’t do much themselves, but they were always welcome. They looked great everywhere; they satisfied the general preference for height, complexion, and “form.” They knew that without being conceited or tacky, and they respected themselves because of it. They weren’t superficial; they were deep and maintained their appearance—that had always been their thing. People with such a taste for activity needed to have some type of focus. I could sense how, even in a boring environment, they could be counted on for positivity. Right now, something had happened—it didn’t matter what, their small income had decreased, it was minimal—and they needed to find a way to make some extra cash. Their friends liked them but didn’t want to support them financially. There was something about them that embodied credibility—their clothes, their manners, their type; but if credibility is like a big empty pocket where the occasional sound echoes, then the sound at least needs to be clear. What they wanted from me was to help make that happen. Luckily, they had no children—I figured that out quickly. They probably also wanted to keep our relationship under wraps: that was why it was “for the figure”—the reproduction of their faces would give them away.
I liked them—they were so simple; and I had no objection to them if they would suit. But, somehow, with all their perfections I didn’t easily believe in them. After all they were amateurs, and the ruling passion of my life was the detestation of the amateur. Combined with this was another perversity—an innate preference for the represented subject over the real one: the defect of the real one was so apt to be a lack of representation. I liked things that appeared; then one was sure. Whether they were or not was a subordinate and almost always a profitless question. There were other considerations, the first of which was that I already had two or three people in use, notably a young person with big feet, in alpaca, from Kilburn, who for a couple of years had come to me regularly for my illustrations and with whom I was still—perhaps ignobly—satisfied. I frankly explained to my visitors how the case stood; but they had taken more precautions than I supposed. They had reasoned out their opportunity, for Claude Rivet had told them of the projected édition de luxe of one of the writers of our day—the rarest of the novelists—who, long neglected by the multitudinous vulgar and dearly prized by the attentive (need I mention Philip Vincent?) had had the happy fortune of seeing, late in life, the dawn and then the full light of a higher criticism—an estimate in which, on the part of the public, there was something really of expiation. The edition in question, planned by a publisher of taste, was practically an act of high reparation; the wood-cuts with which it was to be enriched were the homage of English art to one of the most independent representatives of English letters. Major and Mrs. Monarch confessed to me that they had hoped I might be able to work them into my share of the enterprise. They knew I was to do the first of the books, “Rutland Ramsay,” but I had to make clear to them that my participation in the rest of the affair—this first book was to be a test—was to depend on the satisfaction I should give. If this should be limited my employers would drop me without a scruple. It was therefore a crisis for me, and naturally I was making special preparations, looking about for new people, if they should be necessary, and securing the best types. I admitted however that I should like to settle down to two or three good models who would do for everything.
I liked them—they were so straightforward; and I didn’t have any issue with them if they fit. But somehow, despite all their strengths, I didn’t fully trust them. After all, they were amateurs, and my lifelong passion was a strong dislike for amateurs. Along with that was another quirk—an innate preference for the depicted subject over the real one: the downside of the real one was usually a lack of representation. I preferred things that were visible; then you could be sure. Whether they were or not was a secondary and almost always a pointless question. There were other factors, the first being that I already had two or three people I was using, particularly a young person with big feet, in alpaca, from Kilburn, who had been coming to me regularly for my illustrations for a couple of years and with whom I was still—perhaps shamefully—satisfied. I openly explained to my visitors how things stood; but they had taken more precautions than I expected. They had thought through their opportunity, since Claude Rivet had informed them about the planned édition de luxe of one of today’s writers—the rarest of novelists—who, long overlooked by the numerous masses and highly valued by the discerning (should I mention Philip Vincent?) had been fortunate enough to experience, late in life, the emergence and then the full light of a higher criticism—an evaluation that included something akin to public atonement. The edition in question, conceived by a publisher with taste, was practically an act of significant reparation; the woodcuts meant to accompany it were the tribute of English art to one of the most independent figures in English literature. Major and Mrs. Monarch confessed to me that they had hoped I could incorporate them into my part of the project. They knew I was set to do the first book, “Rutland Ramsay,” but I had to make it clear to them that my involvement in the rest of the project—this initial book was essentially a test—would depend on the satisfaction I provided. If this was limited, my employers would drop me without hesitation. It was, therefore, a pivotal moment for me, and naturally I was making special arrangements, searching for new people, if needed, and securing the best types. I admitted, however, that I would prefer to settle on two or three good models who would work for everything.
“Should we have often to—a—put on special clothes?” Mrs. Monarch timidly demanded.
“Do we have to wear special clothes often?” Mrs. Monarch asked hesitantly.
“Dear, yes—that’s half the business.”
“Sure, that’s half the deal.”
“And should we be expected to supply our own costumes?”
“And are we supposed to bring our own costumes?”
“Oh, no; I’ve got a lot of things. A painter’s models put on—or put off—anything he likes.”
“Oh, no; I have a lot of things. A painter's models can wear—or not wear—whatever they want.”
“And do you mean—a—the same?”
"And do you mean the same?"
“The same?”
“Is it the same?”
Mrs. Monarch looked at her husband again.
Mrs. Monarch glanced at her husband again.
“Oh, she was just wondering,” he explained, “if the costumes are in general use.” I had to confess that they were, and I mentioned further that some of them (I had a lot of genuine, greasy last-century things), had served their time, a hundred years ago, on living, world-stained men and women. “We’ll put on anything that fits,” said the Major.
“Oh, she was just curious,” he explained, “if the costumes are in general use.” I had to admit that they were, and I added that some of them (I had a bunch of authentic, greasy pieces from the last century) had seen their day, a hundred years ago, on real, world-worn men and women. “We’ll wear anything that fits,” said the Major.
“Oh, I arrange that—they fit in the pictures.”
“Oh, I take care of that—they fit into the pictures.”
“I’m afraid I should do better for the modern books. I would come as you like,” said Mrs. Monarch.
“I’m afraid I should do better with the modern books. I would come as you like,” said Mrs. Monarch.
“She has got a lot of clothes at home: they might do for contemporary life,” her husband continued.
“She has a lot of clothes at home: they could work for modern life,” her husband continued.
“Oh, I can fancy scenes in which you’d be quite natural.” And indeed I could see the slipshod rearrangements of stale properties—the stories I tried to produce pictures for without the exasperation of reading them—whose sandy tracts the good lady might help to people. But I had to return to the fact that for this sort of work—the daily mechanical grind—I was already equipped; the people I was working with were fully adequate.
“Oh, I can imagine situations where you'd fit right in.” And honestly, I could picture the careless changes to worn-out plots—the stories I tried to visualize without the frustration of reading them—where the kind lady might contribute characters. But I had to face the reality that for this kind of work—the daily routine grind—I was already set up; the people I was collaborating with were completely capable.
“We only thought we might be more like some characters,” said Mrs. Monarch mildly, getting up.
“We just thought we could be more like some characters,” Mrs. Monarch said gently, standing up.
Her husband also rose; he stood looking at me with a dim wistfulness that was touching in so fine a man. “Wouldn’t it be rather a pull sometimes to have—a—to have—?” He hung fire; he wanted me to help him by phrasing what he meant. But I couldn’t—I didn’t know. So he brought it out, awkwardly: “The real thing; a gentleman, you know, or a lady.” I was quite ready to give a general assent—I admitted that there was a great deal in that. This encouraged Major Monarch to say, following up his appeal with an unacted gulp: “It’s awfully hard—we’ve tried everything.” The gulp was communicative; it proved too much for his wife. Before I knew it Mrs. Monarch had dropped again upon a divan and burst into tears. Her husband sat down beside her, holding one of her hands; whereupon she quickly dried her eyes with the other, while I felt embarrassed as she looked up at me. “There isn’t a confounded job I haven’t applied for—waited for—prayed for. You can fancy we’d be pretty bad first. Secretaryships and that sort of thing? You might as well ask for a peerage. I’d be anything—I’m strong; a messenger or a coalheaver. I’d put on a gold-laced cap and open carriage-doors in front of the haberdasher’s; I’d hang about a station, to carry portmanteaus; I’d be a postman. But they won’t look at you; there are thousands, as good as yourself, already on the ground. Gentlemen, poor beggars, who have drunk their wine, who have kept their hunters!”
Her husband also got up; he stood there looking at me with a vague sadness that was really touching for such a fine man. “Wouldn’t it be a bit of a struggle sometimes to have—a—to have—?” He hesitated; he wanted me to help him say what he meant. But I couldn’t—I didn’t know. So he awkwardly blurted it out: “The real thing; a gentleman, you know, or a lady.” I was ready to agree—I acknowledged that there was a lot to that. This encouraged Major Monarch to say, following his appeal with a gulp: “It’s really hard—we’ve tried everything.” The gulp was revealing; it was too much for his wife. Before I knew it, Mrs. Monarch had collapsed back onto a couch and started crying. Her husband sat down beside her, holding one of her hands; she quickly dried her eyes with the other while I felt awkward as she looked up at me. “There isn’t a single job I haven’t applied for—waited for—prayed for. You can imagine how desperate we’ve become. Secretary positions and that sort of thing? You might as well ask for a peerage. I’d do anything—I’m strong; a messenger or a coal worker. I’d wear a gold-laced cap and open carriage doors in front of the haberdasher’s; I’d hang around a train station to carry luggage; I’d be a postman. But they won’t even look at you; there are thousands just as good as you already out there. Gentlemen, poor guys, who have enjoyed their wine, who have kept their horses!”
I was as reassuring as I knew how to be, and my visitors were presently on their feet again while, for the experiment, we agreed on an hour. We were discussing it when the door opened and Miss Churm came in with a wet umbrella. Miss Churm had to take the omnibus to Maida Vale and then walk half-a-mile. She looked a trifle blowsy and slightly splashed. I scarcely ever saw her come in without thinking afresh how odd it was that, being so little in herself, she should yet be so much in others. She was a meagre little Miss Churm, but she was an ample heroine of romance. She was only a freckled cockney, but she could represent everything, from a fine lady to a shepherdess; she had the faculty, as she might have had a fine voice or long hair.
I did my best to be reassuring, and soon my visitors were back on their feet as we agreed to try for an hour. We were in the middle of discussing it when the door opened, and Miss Churm came in with a wet umbrella. She had to take the bus to Maida Vale and then walk half a mile. She looked a bit disheveled and slightly splashed. I rarely saw her walk in without thinking how strange it was that, despite being so small herself, she had such a big presence. She was a scrawny little Miss Churm, but she embodied a romantic heroine. She was just a freckled Cockney, yet she could play everything from a high-society lady to a shepherdess; she had that talent, just like someone might have a beautiful voice or long hair.
She couldn’t spell, and she loved beer, but she had two or three “points,” and practice, and a knack, and mother-wit, and a kind of whimsical sensibility, and a love of the theatre, and seven sisters, and not an ounce of respect, especially for the h. The first thing my visitors saw was that her umbrella was wet, and in their spotless perfection they visibly winced at it. The rain had come on since their arrival.
She couldn't spell, and she loved beer, but she had a couple of "points," practice, skill, common sense, a quirky sense of humor, a passion for the theater, and seven sisters, with not an ounce of respect—especially for the h. The first thing my visitors noticed was that her umbrella was wet, and in their perfect cleanliness, they clearly recoiled at it. The rain had started since they arrived.
“I’m all in a soak; there was a mess of people in the ’bus. I wish you lived near a stytion,” said Miss Churm. I requested her to get ready as quickly as possible, and she passed into the room in which she always changed her dress. But before going out she asked me what she was to get into this time.
“I’m soaking wet; there were a lot of people on the bus. I wish you lived closer to a station,” said Miss Churm. I asked her to get ready as fast as she could, and she went into the room where she always changed her clothes. But before heading out, she asked me what she was supposed to wear this time.
“It’s the Russian princess, don’t you know?” I answered; “the one with the ‘golden eyes,’ in black velvet, for the long thing in the Cheapside.”
“It’s the Russian princess, don’t you know?” I replied; “the one with the ‘golden eyes,’ in black velvet, for the long thing in the Cheapside.”
“Golden eyes? I say!” cried Miss Churm, while my companions watched her with intensity as she withdrew. She always arranged herself, when she was late, before I could turn round; and I kept my visitors a little, on purpose, so that they might get an idea, from seeing her, what would be expected of themselves. I mentioned that she was quite my notion of an excellent model—she was really very clever.
“Golden eyes? I say!” exclaimed Miss Churm, while my friends watched her intently as she left. She always composed herself, whenever she was late, before I could turn around; and I intentionally kept my guests waiting a bit so they could see her and understand what would be expected of them. I pointed out that she was exactly my idea of a great model—she was truly very talented.
“Do you think she looks like a Russian princess?” Major Monarch asked, with lurking alarm.
“Do you think she looks like a Russian princess?” Major Monarch asked, with a hint of worry.
“When I make her, yes.”
"When I create her, yes."
“Oh, if you have to make her—!” he reasoned, acutely.
“Oh, if you have to make her—!” he reasoned, sharply.
“That’s the most you can ask. There are so many that are not makeable.”
"That's the most you can ask for. There are so many that just can't be made."
“Well now, here’s a lady”—and with a persuasive smile he passed his arm into his wife’s—“who’s already made!”
“Well now, here’s a lady”—and with a charming smile he looped his arm through his wife’s—“who’s already all set!”
“Oh, I’m not a Russian princess,” Mrs. Monarch protested, a little coldly. I could see that she had known some and didn’t like them. There, immediately, was a complication of a kind that I never had to fear with Miss Churm.
“Oh, I’m not a Russian princess,” Mrs. Monarch protested, a bit coldly. I could tell she had known some and didn’t like them. There was, right away, a complication I never had to worry about with Miss Churm.
This young lady came back in black velvet—the gown was rather rusty and very low on her lean shoulders—and with a Japanese fan in her red hands. I reminded her that in the scene I was doing she had to look over someone’s head. “I forget whose it is; but it doesn’t matter. Just look over a head.”
This young woman returned in black velvet—the dress was a bit worn and hung low on her slim shoulders—and she held a Japanese fan in her red hands. I reminded her that in the scene I was performing, she needed to look over someone's head. "I can’t remember whose it is, but it’s not important. Just look over a head."
“I’d rather look over a stove,” said Miss Churm; and she took her station near the fire. She fell into position, settled herself into a tall attitude, gave a certain backward inclination to her head and a certain forward droop to her fan, and looked, at least to my prejudiced sense, distinguished and charming, foreign and dangerous. We left her looking so, while I went down-stairs with Major and Mrs. Monarch.
“I’d rather stand by the stove,” said Miss Churm, taking her place near the fire. She assumed a tall posture, tilted her head back slightly, and leaned her fan forward, looking, at least to my biased perspective, elegant and captivating, exotic and alluring. We left her looking like that while I went downstairs with Major and Mrs. Monarch.
“I think I could come about as near it as that,” said Mrs. Monarch.
“I think I could get pretty close to that,” said Mrs. Monarch.
“Oh, you think she’s shabby, but you must allow for the alchemy of art.”
“Oh, you think she's worn out, but you have to consider the magic of art.”
However, they went off with an evident increase of comfort, founded on their demonstrable advantage in being the real thing. I could fancy them shuddering over Miss Churm. She was very droll about them when I went back, for I told her what they wanted.
However, they left feeling noticeably more comfortable, based on their clear advantage of being the genuine article. I could imagine them shuddering at the mention of Miss Churm. She found them quite amusing when I returned, as I shared what they were after.
“Well, if she can sit I’ll tyke to bookkeeping,” said my model.
“Well, if she can sit, I’ll get into bookkeeping,” said my model.
“She’s very lady-like,” I replied, as an innocent form of aggravation.
“She’s very ladylike,” I replied, as a harmless way to get under her skin.
“So much the worse for you. That means she can’t turn round.”
“So much the worse for you. That means she can’t turn around.”
“She’ll do for the fashionable novels.”
“She’ll be perfect for the trendy novels.”
“Oh yes, she’ll do for them!” my model humorously declared. “Ain’t they had enough without her?” I had often sociably denounced them to Miss Churm.
“Oh yeah, she’ll work for them!” my model joked. “Haven't they had enough without her?” I had often casually criticized them to Miss Churm.
III.
It was for the elucidation of a mystery in one of these works that I first tried Mrs. Monarch. Her husband came with her, to be useful if necessary—it was sufficiently clear that as a general thing he would prefer to come with her. At first I wondered if this were for “propriety’s” sake—if he were going to be jealous and meddling. The idea was too tiresome, and if it had been confirmed it would speedily have brought our acquaintance to a close. But I soon saw there was nothing in it and that if he accompanied Mrs. Monarch it was (in addition to the chance of being wanted), simply because he had nothing else to do. When she was away from him his occupation was gone—she never had been away from him. I judged, rightly, that in their awkward situation their close union was their main comfort and that this union had no weak spot. It was a real marriage, an encouragement to the hesitating, a nut for pessimists to crack. Their address was humble (I remember afterwards thinking it had been the only thing about them that was really professional), and I could fancy the lamentable lodgings in which the Major would have been left alone. He could bear them with his wife—he couldn’t bear them without her.
It was to solve a mystery in one of these works that I first met Mrs. Monarch. Her husband came along to be helpful if needed—it was pretty clear that overall, he preferred to be with her. At first, I wondered if this was out of a sense of “propriety”—if he was going to be jealous and intrusive. That thought was too tiring, and if it had turned out to be true, it would have quickly ended our acquaintance. But I soon realized there was nothing to it, and that if he accompanied Mrs. Monarch, it was not just in case she needed him, but also because he had nothing else to occupy his time. When she was away from him, he had no purpose—she had never really been away from him. I correctly assumed that in their awkward situation, their close bond was their main source of comfort and that this bond had no weak points. It was a genuine marriage, a reassurance for those who hesitate, a challenge for pessimists to consider. Their living situation was modest (I remember thinking later that it was the only thing about them that felt truly professional), and I could picture the dismal place where the Major would have been left alone. He could handle it with his wife—he couldn’t handle it without her.
He had too much tact to try and make himself agreeable when he couldn’t be useful; so he simply sat and waited, when I was too absorbed in my work to talk. But I liked to make him talk—it made my work, when it didn’t interrupt it, less sordid, less special. To listen to him was to combine the excitement of going out with the economy of staying at home. There was only one hindrance: that I seemed not to know any of the people he and his wife had known. I think he wondered extremely, during the term of our intercourse, whom the deuce I did know. He hadn’t a stray sixpence of an idea to fumble for; so we didn’t spin it very fine—we confined ourselves to questions of leather and even of liquor (saddlers and breeches-makers and how to get good claret cheap), and matters like “good trains” and the habits of small game. His lore on these last subjects was astonishing, he managed to interweave the station-master with the ornithologist. When he couldn’t talk about greater things he could talk cheerfully about smaller, and since I couldn’t accompany him into reminiscences of the fashionable world he could lower the conversation without a visible effort to my level.
He had too much tact to try to be charming when he couldn’t be helpful; so he just sat and waited when I was too focused on my work to talk. But I enjoyed making him talk—it made my work, when it didn’t interrupt it, feel less dreary, less exclusive. Listening to him was like combining the thrill of going out with the comfort of staying in. There was just one problem: I didn’t seem to know any of the people he and his wife had known. I think he really wondered, throughout our time together, who on earth I actually did know. He didn’t have a single clue to grasp onto, so we didn’t go into deep conversation—we stuck to topics about leather and even liquor (saddlers and breeches-makers and how to get good claret for cheap), and things like “good trains” and the habits of small game. His knowledge on these last subjects was impressive; he managed to weave together the station-master with the ornithologist. When he couldn’t talk about bigger topics, he could cheerfully discuss smaller ones, and since I couldn’t join him in reminiscing about the fashionable world, he could effortlessly bring the conversation down to my level.
So earnest a desire to please was touching in a man who could so easily have knocked one down. He looked after the fire and had an opinion on the draught of the stove, without my asking him, and I could see that he thought many of my arrangements not half clever enough. I remember telling him that if I were only rich I would offer him a salary to come and teach me how to live. Sometimes he gave a random sigh, of which the essence was: “Give me even such a bare old barrack as this, and I’d do something with it!” When I wanted to use him he came alone; which was an illustration of the superior courage of women. His wife could bear her solitary second floor, and she was in general more discreet; showing by various small reserves that she was alive to the propriety of keeping our relations markedly professional—not letting them slide into sociability. She wished it to remain clear that she and the Major were employed, not cultivated, and if she approved of me as a superior, who could be kept in his place, she never thought me quite good enough for an equal.
So earnest a desire to please was touching in a man who could have easily knocked someone down. He looked after the fire and had an opinion on the draft of the stove without me asking him, and I could tell he thought many of my arrangements were not clever enough. I remember telling him that if I were rich, I would offer him a salary to come and teach me how to live. Sometimes he let out a random sigh that seemed to say, “Give me even a bare old place like this, and I’d make something of it!” When I wanted to use him, he came alone, which showed the superior courage of women. His wife could handle her solitary second floor, and she was generally more discreet; indicating through various small reserves that she was aware of the importance of keeping our relationship clearly professional—avoiding letting it become too sociable. She wanted it to be clear that she and the Major were employed, not cultivated, and while she saw me as a superior who could be kept in his place, she never considered me quite good enough to be an equal.
She sat with great intensity, giving the whole of her mind to it, and was capable of remaining for an hour almost as motionless as if she were before a photographer’s lens. I could see she had been photographed often, but somehow the very habit that made her good for that purpose unfitted her for mine. At first I was extremely pleased with her lady-like air, and it was a satisfaction, on coming to follow her lines, to see how good they were and how far they could lead the pencil. But after a few times I began to find her too insurmountably stiff; do what I would with it my drawing looked like a photograph or a copy of a photograph. Her figure had no variety of expression—she herself had no sense of variety. You may say that this was my business, was only a question of placing her. I placed her in every conceivable position, but she managed to obliterate their differences. She was always a lady certainly, and into the bargain was always the same lady. She was the real thing, but always the same thing. There were moments when I was oppressed by the serenity of her confidence that she was the real thing. All her dealings with me and all her husband’s were an implication that this was lucky for me. Meanwhile I found myself trying to invent types that approached her own, instead of making her own transform itself—in the clever way that was not impossible, for instance, to poor Miss Churm. Arrange as I would and take the precautions I would, she always, in my pictures, came out too tall—landing me in the dilemma of having represented a fascinating woman as seven feet high, which, out of respect perhaps to my own very much scantier inches, was far from my idea of such a personage.
She sat with intense focus, pouring all her attention into it, and could stay almost completely still for an hour, as if she were posing for a photographer. I could tell she had been photographed often, but somehow that habit that made her great for that purpose made her less suitable for mine. At first, I was really impressed by her elegant demeanor, and it was gratifying to see how good the lines were when I followed them and how far they could take the pencil. But after a few tries, I found her too rigid; no matter what I did, my drawing looked like a photograph or a copy of one. Her figure lacked variety in expression—she herself had no sense of variety. You might say that this was my responsibility, just a matter of positioning her. I tried every possible pose, but she managed to erase their differences. She was always a lady, and on top of that, she was always the same lady. She was the real deal, but she was always the same. There were moments when I felt weighed down by her unwavering confidence that she really was the real deal. All her interactions with me and all her husband’s suggested that this was fortunate for me. In the meantime, I found myself trying to create types that resembled her own, instead of making her transform into something different—in a clever way that could have been possible, for example, with poor Miss Churm. No matter how I arranged it or what precautions I took, she always came out looking too tall in my drawings—forcing me into the position of portraying an intriguing woman as seven feet tall, which, perhaps out of respect for my own much shorter stature, was far from my idea of such a person.
The case was worse with the Major—nothing I could do would keep him down, so that he became useful only for the representation of brawny giants. I adored variety and range, I cherished human accidents, the illustrative note; I wanted to characterise closely, and the thing in the world I most hated was the danger of being ridden by a type. I had quarrelled with some of my friends about it—I had parted company with them for maintaining that one had to be, and that if the type was beautiful (witness Raphael and Leonardo), the servitude was only a gain. I was neither Leonardo nor Raphael; I might only be a presumptuous young modern searcher, but I held that everything was to be sacrificed sooner than character. When they averred that the haunting type in question could easily be character, I retorted, perhaps superficially: “Whose?” It couldn’t be everybody’s—it might end in being nobody’s.
The situation was even worse with the Major—nothing I did could keep him down, so he ended up being useful only for portraying muscular giants. I loved variety and diversity, I valued human quirks, the illustrative detail; I wanted to depict things closely, and the thing I hated most was the risk of being confined to a stereotype. I had argued with some of my friends about this—I had parted ways with them for insisting that one had to fit a type, and that if the type was beautiful (like Raphael and Leonardo), then the limitation was actually a benefit. I was neither Leonardo nor Raphael; I might just be an audacious young modern seeker, but I believed that nothing should be sacrificed in favor of character. When they claimed that the lingering type in question could easily be character, I responded, perhaps too simply: “Whose?” It couldn't belong to everyone—it could end up belonging to nobody.
After I had drawn Mrs. Monarch a dozen times I perceived more clearly than before that the value of such a model as Miss Churm resided precisely in the fact that she had no positive stamp, combined of course with the other fact that what she did have was a curious and inexplicable talent for imitation. Her usual appearance was like a curtain which she could draw up at request for a capital performance. This performance was simply suggestive; but it was a word to the wise—it was vivid and pretty. Sometimes, even, I thought it, though she was plain herself, too insipidly pretty; I made it a reproach to her that the figures drawn from her were monotonously (bêtement, as we used to say) graceful. Nothing made her more angry: it was so much her pride to feel that she could sit for characters that had nothing in common with each other. She would accuse me at such moments of taking away her “reputytion.”
After I had drawn Mrs. Monarch a dozen times, I realized more clearly than before that the value of a model like Miss Churm lay precisely in her lack of a distinctive appearance, combined with her unique and inexplicable talent for imitation. Her usual look was like a curtain that she could raise on cue for an excellent show. This show was simply suggestive; but it was a warning to pay attention—it was vibrant and lovely. Sometimes, I even thought that, despite her plainness, she was almost too blandly pretty; I would joke that the figures I drew from her were monotonously ( bêtement, as we used to say) graceful. Nothing made her angrier: it was her pride to feel that she could pose for characters that had nothing in common with each other. In those moments, she would accuse me of ruining her “reputation.”
It suffered a certain shrinkage, this queer quantity, from the repeated visits of my new friends. Miss Churm was greatly in demand, never in want of employment, so I had no scruple in putting her off occasionally, to try them more at my ease. It was certainly amusing at first to do the real thing—it was amusing to do Major Monarch’s trousers. They were the real thing, even if he did come out colossal. It was amusing to do his wife’s back hair (it was so mathematically neat,) and the particular “smart” tension of her tight stays. She lent herself especially to positions in which the face was somewhat averted or blurred; she abounded in lady-like back views and profils perdus. When she stood erect she took naturally one of the attitudes in which court-painters represent queens and princesses; so that I found myself wondering whether, to draw out this accomplishment, I couldn’t get the editor of the Cheapside to publish a really royal romance, “A Tale of Buckingham Palace.” Sometimes, however, the real thing and the make-believe came into contact; by which I mean that Miss Churm, keeping an appointment or coming to make one on days when I had much work in hand, encountered her invidious rivals. The encounter was not on their part, for they noticed her no more than if she had been the housemaid; not from intentional loftiness, but simply because, as yet, professionally, they didn’t know how to fraternise, as I could guess that they would have liked—or at least that the Major would. They couldn’t talk about the omnibus—they always walked; and they didn’t know what else to try—she wasn’t interested in good trains or cheap claret. Besides, they must have felt—in the air—that she was amused at them, secretly derisive of their ever knowing how. She was not a person to conceal her scepticism if she had had a chance to show it. On the other hand Mrs. Monarch didn’t think her tidy; for why else did she take pains to say to me (it was going out of the way, for Mrs. Monarch), that she didn’t like dirty women?
It definitely shrank a bit with the repeated visits from my new friends. Miss Churm was always in high demand, never lacking for tasks, so I had no qualms about sending her away sometimes to spend time with them more comfortably. It was definitely entertaining at first to do the real deal—it was fun to work on Major Monarch’s trousers. They were the real deal, even if he did come out looking enormous. It was amusing to style his wife’s back hair (it was so perfectly neat) and the particular “smart” tension of her tight corset. She especially favored poses where her face was somewhat turned away or out of focus; she was full of ladylike back views and lost profiles. When she stood up straight, she naturally took one of those stances that court painters use to depict queens and princesses; so I found myself wondering if I could inspire the editor of the Cheapside to publish a genuinely royal romance, “A Tale of Buckingham Palace.” Sometimes, though, the real and the pretend collided; I mean that Miss Churm, keeping an appointment or coming to make one on days when I had a lot of work, would run into her jealous competitors. The meeting wasn’t noticed by them; they ignored her as if she were the housemaid; not out of deliberate arrogance, but simply because they still didn’t know how to interact professionally, as I guessed they would have wanted—or at least the Major would. They couldn’t chat about the bus—they always walked; and they didn’t know what else to discuss—she wasn’t interested in good trains or cheap wine. Plus, they must have sensed—just in the atmosphere—that she found them amusing, secretly mocking their inability to socialize. She wasn’t the type to hide her skepticism if she had the chance. On the other hand, Mrs. Monarch didn’t think she was tidy; why else would she have gone out of her way to tell me (it was unusual for Mrs. Monarch) that she didn’t like dirty women?
One day when my young lady happened to be present with my other sitters (she even dropped in, when it was convenient, for a chat), I asked her to be so good as to lend a hand in getting tea—a service with which she was familiar and which was one of a class that, living as I did in a small way, with slender domestic resources, I often appealed to my models to render. They liked to lay hands on my property, to break the sitting, and sometimes the china—I made them feel Bohemian. The next time I saw Miss Churm after this incident she surprised me greatly by making a scene about it—she accused me of having wished to humiliate her. She had not resented the outrage at the time, but had seemed obliging and amused, enjoying the comedy of asking Mrs. Monarch, who sat vague and silent, whether she would have cream and sugar, and putting an exaggerated simper into the question. She had tried intonations—as if she too wished to pass for the real thing; till I was afraid my other visitors would take offence.
One day, when my young lady happened to be there with my other sitters (she even stopped by for a chat when it was convenient), I asked her to help with making tea—a task she was familiar with and one I often asked my models to do since I lived a modest life with limited domestic resources. They enjoyed handling my things, breaking up the sitting, and sometimes even my china—I made them feel Bohemian. The next time I saw Miss Churm after this incident, she surprised me by making a big deal out of it—she accused me of trying to humiliate her. She hadn't seemed bothered at the time; instead, she appeared obliging and amused, enjoying the humor of asking Mrs. Monarch, who sat there vague and silent, whether she wanted cream and sugar, putting on an exaggerated grin for the question. She tried different tones—as if she too wanted to come off as authentic—until I worried that my other guests would take offense.
Oh, they were determined not to do this; and their touching patience was the measure of their great need. They would sit by the hour, uncomplaining, till I was ready to use them; they would come back on the chance of being wanted and would walk away cheerfully if they were not. I used to go to the door with them to see in what magnificent order they retreated. I tried to find other employment for them—I introduced them to several artists. But they didn’t “take,” for reasons I could appreciate, and I became conscious, rather anxiously, that after such disappointments they fell back upon me with a heavier weight. They did me the honour to think that it was I who was most their form. They were not picturesque enough for the painters, and in those days there were not so many serious workers in black and white. Besides, they had an eye to the great job I had mentioned to them—they had secretly set their hearts on supplying the right essence for my pictorial vindication of our fine novelist. They knew that for this undertaking I should want no costume-effects, none of the frippery of past ages—that it was a case in which everything would be contemporary and satirical and, presumably, genteel. If I could work them into it their future would be assured, for the labour would of course be long and the occupation steady.
Oh, they were determined not to do this; and their touching patience showed how much they needed it. They would sit for hours, without complaint, until I was ready to use them; they would return hoping to be needed and would walk away cheerfully if they weren't. I used to go to the door with them to see how nicely they left. I tried to find other jobs for them—I introduced them to several artists. But they didn’t connect, for reasons I understood, and I became aware, rather anxiously, that after such disappointments they relied on me more heavily. They considered it an honor to think that I was the one who suited them best. They weren't interesting enough for the painters, and back then there weren't many serious black-and-white artists. Besides, they had their sights set on the big project I had mentioned to them—they had secretly hoped to provide the right essence for my visual defense of our great novelist. They knew that for this project I wouldn't need costume effects, none of the frills of past eras—that everything would be contemporary, satirical, and presumably, refined. If I could include them in it, their future would be secure, since the work would obviously be extensive and the employment steady.
One day Mrs. Monarch came without her husband—she explained his absence by his having had to go to the City. While she sat there in her usual anxious stiffness there came, at the door, a knock which I immediately recognised as the subdued appeal of a model out of work. It was followed by the entrance of a young man whom I easily perceived to be a foreigner and who proved in fact an Italian acquainted with no English word but my name, which he uttered in a way that made it seem to include all others. I had not then visited his country, nor was I proficient in his tongue; but as he was not so meanly constituted—what Italian is?—as to depend only on that member for expression he conveyed to me, in familiar but graceful mimicry, that he was in search of exactly the employment in which the lady before me was engaged. I was not struck with him at first, and while I continued to draw I emitted rough sounds of discouragement and dismissal. He stood his ground, however, not importunately, but with a dumb, dog-like fidelity in his eyes which amounted to innocent impudence—the manner of a devoted servant (he might have been in the house for years), unjustly suspected. Suddenly I saw that this very attitude and expression made a picture, whereupon I told him to sit down and wait till I should be free. There was another picture in the way he obeyed me, and I observed as I worked that there were others still in the way he looked wonderingly, with his head thrown back, about the high studio. He might have been crossing himself in St. Peter’s. Before I finished I said to myself: “The fellow’s a bankrupt orange-monger, but he’s a treasure.”
One day, Mrs. Monarch came without her husband—she explained his absence by saying he had to go to the City. While she sat there with her usual anxious stiffness, there was a knock at the door that I instantly recognized as the quiet plea of a struggling model. It was followed by the entrance of a young man whom I quickly realized was a foreigner, and who turned out to be an Italian. He didn’t know any English words except for my name, which he pronounced in a way that made it seem to encompass everything else. At that time, I hadn’t visited his country, nor was I fluent in his language; but since he wasn’t so poorly equipped—what Italian is?—as to rely solely on that to communicate, he conveyed to me, through familiar yet elegant mimicry, that he was looking for the same kind of work that the lady before me was doing. At first, I wasn’t impressed by him, and while I continued to draw, I made rough sounds of discouragement and dismissal. He stood his ground, though, not pestering me, but with a loyal, dog-like expression in his eyes that bordered on innocent boldness—the attitude of a devoted servant (he could have been in the house for years), unjustly suspected. Suddenly, I realized that this very pose and expression created a picture, so I told him to sit down and wait until I was free. There was another picture in the way he obeyed me, and I noticed, as I worked, that there were more in the way he looked around the high studio with a sense of wonder, his head thrown back. He could have been crossing himself in St. Peter’s. Before I finished, I thought to myself: "The guy’s a failed orange seller, but he’s a gem."
When Mrs. Monarch withdrew he passed across the room like a flash to open the door for her, standing there with the rapt, pure gaze of the young Dante spellbound by the young Beatrice. As I never insisted, in such situations, on the blankness of the British domestic, I reflected that he had the making of a servant (and I needed one, but couldn’t pay him to be only that), as well as of a model; in short I made up my mind to adopt my bright adventurer if he would agree to officiate in the double capacity. He jumped at my offer, and in the event my rashness (for I had known nothing about him), was not brought home to me. He proved a sympathetic though a desultory ministrant, and had in a wonderful degree the sentiment de la pose. It was uncultivated, instinctive; a part of the happy instinct which had guided him to my door and helped him to spell out my name on the card nailed to it. He had had no other introduction to me than a guess, from the shape of my high north window, seen outside, that my place was a studio and that as a studio it would contain an artist. He had wandered to England in search of fortune, like other itinerants, and had embarked, with a partner and a small green handcart, on the sale of penny ices. The ices had melted away and the partner had dissolved in their train. My young man wore tight yellow trousers with reddish stripes and his name was Oronte. He was sallow but fair, and when I put him into some old clothes of my own he looked like an Englishman. He was as good as Miss Churm, who could look, when required, like an Italian.
When Mrs. Monarch stepped out, he dashed across the room to open the door for her, standing there with the captivated, innocent look of a young Dante mesmerized by the young Beatrice. As I never pressed for the typical blankness of British domesticity in such moments, I thought about how he had the potential to be a servant (and I needed one, but couldn’t afford to hire him just for that), as well as a model; in short, I decided to take in my bright adventurer if he was willing to play both roles. He eagerly accepted my offer, and it turned out my impulsiveness (since I knew nothing about him) didn’t come back to haunt me. He was a sympathetic though somewhat scattered helper and had a remarkable sense of sentiment de la pose. It was an untamed, instinctive quality; part of the happy instinct that had led him to my door and helped him read my name on the card attached to it. He had no real introduction to me but had guessed, from the shape of my tall north-facing window seen from outside, that my place was a studio and that it would contain an artist. He had come to England in search of fortune, like other wanderers, and had started, with a partner and a small green handcart, selling penny ices. The ices had melted away, and the partner had disappeared along with them. My young man wore tight yellow pants with reddish stripes, and his name was Oronte. He was pale but fair, and when I put him in some of my old clothes, he looked like an Englishman. He was just as good as Miss Churm, who could, when needed, resemble an Italian.
IV.
I thought Mrs. Monarch’s face slightly convulsed when, on her coming back with her husband, she found Oronte installed. It was strange to have to recognise in a scrap of a lazzarone a competitor to her magnificent Major. It was she who scented danger first, for the Major was anecdotically unconscious. But Oronte gave us tea, with a hundred eager confusions (he had never seen such a queer process), and I think she thought better of me for having at last an “establishment.” They saw a couple of drawings that I had made of the establishment, and Mrs. Monarch hinted that it never would have struck her that he had sat for them. “Now the drawings you make from us, they look exactly like us,” she reminded me, smiling in triumph; and I recognised that this was indeed just their defect. When I drew the Monarchs I couldn’t, somehow, get away from them—get into the character I wanted to represent; and I had not the least desire my model should be discoverable in my picture. Miss Churm never was, and Mrs. Monarch thought I hid her, very properly, because she was vulgar; whereas if she was lost it was only as the dead who go to heaven are lost—in the gain of an angel the more.
I thought Mrs. Monarch's face slightly twitched when she came back with her husband and found Oronte there. It was strange to recognize a scrappy street kid as a rival to her impressive Major. She was the first to sense danger since the Major was blissfully unaware. But Oronte served us tea with a hundred eager mix-ups (he had never seen such a bizarre process), and I think she thought better of me for finally having a "setup." They looked at a couple of drawings I did of the setup, and Mrs. Monarch suggested that it would never have occurred to her that he had posed for them. "Now the drawings you make of us, they look exactly like us," she reminded me, smiling triumphantly; and I realized that this was indeed just their flaw. When I drew the Monarchs, I couldn't seem to distance myself from them—get into the character I wanted to depict; and I had no desire for my model to be recognizable in my artwork. Miss Churm never was, and Mrs. Monarch thought I hid her quite rightly because she was vulgar; but if she was lost, it was only like the dead who go to heaven—lost in becoming one more angel.
By this time I had got a certain start with “Rutland Ramsay,” the first novel in the great projected series; that is I had produced a dozen drawings, several with the help of the Major and his wife, and I had sent them in for approval. My understanding with the publishers, as I have already hinted, had been that I was to be left to do my work, in this particular case, as I liked, with the whole book committed to me; but my connection with the rest of the series was only contingent. There were moments when, frankly, it was a comfort to have the real thing under one’s hand; for there were characters in “Rutland Ramsay” that were very much like it. There were people presumably as straight as the Major and women of as good a fashion as Mrs. Monarch. There was a great deal of country-house life—treated, it is true, in a fine, fanciful, ironical, generalised way—and there was a considerable implication of knickerbockers and kilts. There were certain things I had to settle at the outset; such things for instance as the exact appearance of the hero, the particular bloom of the heroine. The author of course gave me a lead, but there was a margin for interpretation. I took the Monarchs into my confidence, I told them frankly what I was about, I mentioned my embarrassments and alternatives. “Oh, take him!” Mrs. Monarch murmured sweetly, looking at her husband; and “What could you want better than my wife?” the Major inquired, with the comfortable candour that now prevailed between us.
By this time, I had made some progress with “Rutland Ramsay,” the first novel in the big planned series; I had created a dozen drawings, some with help from the Major and his wife, and I had sent them in for approval. My agreement with the publishers, as I’ve already mentioned, was that I could work as I pleased on this particular book, with the whole thing under my control; however, my involvement with the rest of the series was only tentative. Sometimes, it was actually comforting to have something real in front of me; there were characters in “Rutland Ramsay” that felt very familiar. There were people who seemed as straightforward as the Major and women as stylish as Mrs. Monarch. There was a lot of country-house life—though presented in a refined, whimsical, ironic, and generalized style—and a significant hint of knickerbockers and kilts. I had some details to figure out from the start, like the exact look of the hero and the specific qualities of the heroine. The author gave me some guidance, but there was room for my own interpretation. I confided in the Monarchs; I told them honestly what I was working on, sharing my struggles and options. “Oh, take him!” Mrs. Monarch said sweetly, glancing at her husband, and “What could you want more than my wife?” the Major asked, with the easy honesty that now existed between us.
I was not obliged to answer these remarks—I was only obliged to place my sitters. I was not easy in mind, and I postponed, a little timidly perhaps, the solution of the question. The book was a large canvas, the other figures were numerous, and I worked off at first some of the episodes in which the hero and the heroine were not concerned. When once I had set them up I should have to stick to them—I couldn’t make my young man seven feet high in one place and five feet nine in another. I inclined on the whole to the latter measurement, though the Major more than once reminded me that he looked about as young as anyone. It was indeed quite possible to arrange him, for the figure, so that it would have been difficult to detect his age. After the spontaneous Oronte had been with me a month, and after I had given him to understand several different times that his native exuberance would presently constitute an insurmountable barrier to our further intercourse, I waked to a sense of his heroic capacity. He was only five feet seven, but the remaining inches were latent. I tried him almost secretly at first, for I was really rather afraid of the judgment my other models would pass on such a choice. If they regarded Miss Churm as little better than a snare, what would they think of the representation by a person so little the real thing as an Italian street-vendor of a protagonist formed by a public school?
I wasn't obligated to respond to these comments—I just needed to set up my subjects. I felt uneasy, and I hesitated, maybe a bit timidly, to resolve the issue. The painting was a large canvas, and there were many figures involved, so I initially focused on some scenes that didn’t include the hero and heroine. Once I established them, I had to commit to their appearances—I couldn't make my young man seven feet tall in one spot and five feet nine in another. Overall, I leaned towards the latter height, although the Major often reminded me that he looked pretty youthful. It was definitely possible to pose him in a way that made it hard to tell his age. After the spontaneous Oronte had been with me for a month, and after I had hinted several times that his natural enthusiasm would eventually create an insurmountable barrier to our collaboration, I began to realize his heroic potential. He was only five feet seven, but those extra inches were hidden. I tried him out almost secretly at first, as I was genuinely worried about what my other models would think of such a choice. If they considered Miss Churm to be hardly better than a trap, what would they say about having an Italian street vendor represent a protagonist shaped by a public school?
If I went a little in fear of them it was not because they bullied me, because they had got an oppressive foothold, but because in their really pathetic decorum and mysteriously permanent newness they counted on me so intensely. I was therefore very glad when Jack Hawley came home: he was always of such good counsel. He painted badly himself, but there was no one like him for putting his finger on the place. He had been absent from England for a year; he had been somewhere—I don’t remember where—to get a fresh eye. I was in a good deal of dread of any such organ, but we were old friends; he had been away for months and a sense of emptiness was creeping into my life. I hadn’t dodged a missile for a year.
If I felt a bit fearful of them, it wasn't because they bullied me or had an oppressive grip, but because their truly sad sense of propriety and their mysteriously constant newness relied on me so much. So I was really happy when Jack Hawley came back home; he always offered great advice. He wasn't a great painter himself, but he had a knack for pinpointing the problem. He had been away from England for a year; he had gone somewhere—I can't remember where—to get a fresh perspective. I was pretty worried about any kind of new insight, but we were old friends; he’d been gone for months and a feeling of emptiness was creeping into my life. I hadn’t dodged any trouble for a year.
He came back with a fresh eye, but with the same old black velvet blouse, and the first evening he spent in my studio we smoked cigarettes till the small hours. He had done no work himself, he had only got the eye; so the field was clear for the production of my little things. He wanted to see what I had done for the Cheapside, but he was disappointed in the exhibition. That at least seemed the meaning of two or three comprehensive groans which, as he lounged on my big divan, on a folded leg, looking at my latest drawings, issued from his lips with the smoke of the cigarette.
He came back with a fresh perspective, but wearing the same old black velvet blouse, and on the first evening he spent in my studio, we smoked cigarettes until the early hours. He hadn't done any work himself; he only had the eye, so the space was open for me to create my little pieces. He wanted to see what I had done for the Cheapside, but he was let down by the exhibition. At least, that seemed to be the gist of the two or three deep sighs that slipped from his lips, along with the smoke of his cigarette, as he lounged on my big couch with one leg folded, gazing at my latest drawings.
“What’s the matter with you?” I asked.
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked.
“What’s the matter with you?”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing save that I’m mystified.”
“Nothing except that I’m confused.”
“You are indeed. You’re quite off the hinge. What’s the meaning of this new fad?” And he tossed me, with visible irreverence, a drawing in which I happened to have depicted both my majestic models. I asked if he didn’t think it good, and he replied that it struck him as execrable, given the sort of thing I had always represented myself to him as wishing to arrive at; but I let that pass, I was so anxious to see exactly what he meant. The two figures in the picture looked colossal, but I supposed this was not what he meant, inasmuch as, for aught he knew to the contrary, I might have been trying for that. I maintained that I was working exactly in the same way as when he last had done me the honour to commend me. “Well, there’s a big hole somewhere,” he answered; “wait a bit and I’ll discover it.” I depended upon him to do so: where else was the fresh eye? But he produced at last nothing more luminous than “I don’t know—I don’t like your types.” This was lame, for a critic who had never consented to discuss with me anything but the question of execution, the direction of strokes and the mystery of values.
"You really are. You’ve totally lost it. What’s the deal with this new trend?” He tossed me a drawing, clearly not taking it seriously, where I had shown both my impressive subjects. I asked if he thought it was any good, and he said it seemed terrible to him, considering the kind of art I used to claim I wanted to create. But I brushed that off because I was eager to understand what he actually meant. The two figures in the drawing looked huge, but I figured that wasn’t his point since, for all he knew, I could have been aiming for that. I insisted that I was working the same way as when he last gave me the honor of praise. “Well, something’s definitely off,” he replied, “just wait, and I'll figure it out.” I was counting on him to do that; where else would I find a fresh perspective? But in the end, all he came up with was, “I don’t know—I don’t like what you’re doing.” That was weak, especially coming from a critic who had only ever wanted to talk about technique, brushwork, and the complexity of tones.
“In the drawings you’ve been looking at I think my types are very handsome.”
“In the drawings you’ve been looking at, I think my designs are really attractive.”
“Oh, they won’t do!”
“Oh, they’re not going to work!”
“I’ve had a couple of new models.”
“I’ve gotten a few new models.”
“I see you have. They won’t do.”
"I see you do. They won't."
“Are you very sure of that?”
“Are you completely sure about that?”
“Absolutely—they’re stupid.”
“Definitely—they’re foolish.”
“You mean I am—for I ought to get round that.”
“You mean I am—for I should figure that out.”
“You can’t—with such people. Who are they?”
“You can’t—with people like that. Who are they?”
I told him, as far as was necessary, and he declared, heartlessly: “Ce sont des gens qu’il faut mettre à la porte.”
I told him what was necessary, and he ruthlessly declared, “These are the people we need to throw out.”
“You’ve never seen them; they’re awfully good,” I compassionately objected.
“You’ve never seen them; they’re really good,” I kindly insisted.
“Not seen them? Why, all this recent work of yours drops to pieces with them. It’s all I want to see of them.”
“Not seen them? Well, all this recent work of yours falls apart without them. That’s all I want to see of them.”
“No one else has said anything against it—the Cheapside people are pleased.”
“No one else has said anything negative about it—the Cheapside folks are happy.”
“Everyone else is an ass, and the Cheapside people the biggest asses of all. Come, don’t pretend, at this time of day, to have pretty illusions about the public, especially about publishers and editors. It’s not for such animals you work—it’s for those who know, coloro che sanno; so keep straight for me if you can’t keep straight for yourself. There’s a certain sort of thing you tried for from the first—and a very good thing it is. But this twaddle isn’t in it.” When I talked with Hawley later about “Rutland Ramsay” and its possible successors he declared that I must get back into my boat again or I would go to the bottom. His voice in short was the voice of warning.
“Everyone else is an idiot, and the Cheapside crowd are the biggest idiots of all. Come on, don’t pretend, at this time of day, to have nice illusions about the public, especially about publishers and editors. You’re not working for those types; it’s for those who know, coloro che sanno; so stay focused for me if you can’t stay focused for yourself. There’s a certain type of thing you aimed for from the start—and it’s a really good thing. But this nonsense isn’t in it.” When I talked with Hawley later about “Rutland Ramsay” and its potential successors, he said that I needed to get back in my boat again or I’d sink. His voice was essentially a warning.
I noted the warning, but I didn’t turn my friends out of doors. They bored me a good deal; but the very fact that they bored me admonished me not to sacrifice them—if there was anything to be done with them—simply to irritation. As I look back at this phase they seem to me to have pervaded my life not a little. I have a vision of them as most of the time in my studio, seated, against the wall, on an old velvet bench to be out of the way, and looking like a pair of patient courtiers in a royal ante-chamber. I am convinced that during the coldest weeks of the winter they held their ground because it saved them fire. Their newness was losing its gloss, and it was impossible not to feel that they were objects of charity. Whenever Miss Churm arrived they went away, and after I was fairly launched in “Rutland Ramsay” Miss Churm arrived pretty often. They managed to express to me tacitly that they supposed I wanted her for the low life of the book, and I let them suppose it, since they had attempted to study the work—it was lying about the studio—without discovering that it dealt only with the highest circles. They had dipped into the most brilliant of our novelists without deciphering many passages. I still took an hour from them, now and again, in spite of Jack Hawley’s warning: it would be time enough to dismiss them, if dismissal should be necessary, when the rigour of the season was over. Hawley had made their acquaintance—he had met them at my fireside—and thought them a ridiculous pair. Learning that he was a painter they tried to approach him, to show him too that they were the real thing; but he looked at them, across the big room, as if they were miles away: they were a compendium of everything that he most objected to in the social system of his country. Such people as that, all convention and patent-leather, with ejaculations that stopped conversation, had no business in a studio. A studio was a place to learn to see, and how could you see through a pair of feather beds?
I saw the warning, but I didn’t kick my friends out. They bored me quite a bit; but the fact that they bored me reminded me not to throw them away—if there was anything I could do with them—just out of irritation. Looking back at that time, they seemed to have filled my life quite a lot. I picture them mostly in my studio, sitting against the wall on an old velvet bench to stay out of the way, looking like a couple of patient courtiers in a royal waiting room. I’m convinced that during the coldest weeks of winter, they stuck around because it saved them from the cold. Their newness was wearing off, and it was hard not to feel like they were charity cases. Whenever Miss Churm showed up, they left, and after I really got going on “Rutland Ramsay,” Miss Churm came around pretty often. They silently let me know they thought I wanted her for the lower side of the book, and I let them think that, since they’d tried to read the work—it was lying around the studio—without realizing it was only about the upper class. They had dipped into some of the best of our novelists without understanding much of it. I still took an hour away from them now and then, despite Jack Hawley’s warning: it would be time enough to get rid of them if necessary, once the harshness of the season passed. Hawley had met them at my fireside and thought they were a ridiculous pair. Learning he was a painter, they attempted to connect with him, wanting to prove they were the real deal too; but he looked at them from across the big room as if they were miles away: they represented everything he disliked about the social system in his country. People like that, all about convention and shiny shoes, with remarks that halted conversation, didn’t belong in a studio. A studio was a place to learn to see, and how could you see through a couple of feather beds?
The main inconvenience I suffered at their hands was that, at first, I was shy of letting them discover how my artful little servant had begun to sit to me for “Rutland Ramsay.” They knew that I had been odd enough (they were prepared by this time to allow oddity to artists,) to pick a foreign vagabond out of the streets, when I might have had a person with whiskers and credentials; but it was some time before they learned how high I rated his accomplishments. They found him in an attitude more than once, but they never doubted I was doing him as an organ-grinder. There were several things they never guessed, and one of them was that for a striking scene in the novel, in which a footman briefly figured, it occurred to me to make use of Major Monarch as the menial. I kept putting this off, I didn’t like to ask him to don the livery—besides the difficulty of finding a livery to fit him. At last, one day late in the winter, when I was at work on the despised Oronte (he caught one’s idea in an instant), and was in the glow of feeling that I was going very straight, they came in, the Major and his wife, with their society laugh about nothing (there was less and less to laugh at), like country-callers—they always reminded me of that—who have walked across the park after church and are presently persuaded to stay to luncheon. Luncheon was over, but they could stay to tea—I knew they wanted it. The fit was on me, however, and I couldn’t let my ardour cool and my work wait, with the fading daylight, while my model prepared it. So I asked Mrs. Monarch if she would mind laying it out—a request which, for an instant, brought all the blood to her face. Her eyes were on her husband’s for a second, and some mute telegraphy passed between them. Their folly was over the next instant; his cheerful shrewdness put an end to it. So far from pitying their wounded pride, I must add, I was moved to give it as complete a lesson as I could. They bustled about together and got out the cups and saucers and made the kettle boil. I know they felt as if they were waiting on my servant, and when the tea was prepared I said: “He’ll have a cup, please—he’s tired.” Mrs. Monarch brought him one where he stood, and he took it from her as if he had been a gentleman at a party, squeezing a crush-hat with an elbow.
The main hassle I faced with them was that, at first, I was hesitant to let them find out how my clever little servant had started posing for “Rutland Ramsay.” They knew I had been quirky enough (by this point, they were willing to accept that artists can be odd) to pick a foreign drifter off the streets when I could have chosen someone with a respectable appearance and credentials; but it took them a while to understand how highly I valued his skills. They caught glimpses of him in different poses more than once, but they never suspected I was portraying him as an organ grinder. There were several things they never figured out, including that for a memorable scene in the novel, which briefly featured a footman, I thought to use Major Monarch as the servant. I kept postponing it; I didn’t want to ask him to wear the uniform—plus, it was hard to find a uniform that would fit him. Finally, one late winter day, while I was working on the much-maligned Oronte (he grasped ideas quickly), I felt energized, convinced I was making great progress, when in walked the Major and his wife, chuckling about nothing (there was less and less to laugh about), like retired country folk—they always reminded me of that—who had strolled through the park after church and were soon convinced to stay for lunch. Lunch was over, but they could stay for tea—I knew they wanted it. However, I was in the zone and couldn’t let my enthusiasm cool and my work wait, especially with the dwindling daylight, while my model got ready. So I asked Mrs. Monarch if she would mind setting it up—a request that momentarily flushed her cheeks. She glanced at her husband for a second, and some silent communication passed between them. Their embarrassment faded quickly; his jovial cleverness put an end to it. Instead of feeling sorry for their bruised pride, I was motivated to teach them a clear lesson. They scurried around together, pulled out cups and saucers, and got the kettle boiling. I could tell they felt like they were serving my servant, and when the tea was ready, I said, “He’ll have a cup, please—he’s tired.” Mrs. Monarch handed him one where he stood, and he took it from her as if he were a gentleman at a party, adjusting his crushed hat with an elbow.
Then it came over me that she had made a great effort for me—made it with a kind of nobleness—and that I owed her a compensation. Each time I saw her after this I wondered what the compensation could be. I couldn’t go on doing the wrong thing to oblige them. Oh, it was the wrong thing, the stamp of the work for which they sat—Hawley was not the only person to say it now. I sent in a large number of the drawings I had made for “Rutland Ramsay,” and I received a warning that was more to the point than Hawley’s. The artistic adviser of the house for which I was working was of opinion that many of my illustrations were not what had been looked for. Most of these illustrations were the subjects in which the Monarchs had figured. Without going into the question of what had been looked for, I saw at this rate I shouldn’t get the other books to do. I hurled myself in despair upon Miss Churm, I put her through all her paces. I not only adopted Oronte publicly as my hero, but one morning when the Major looked in to see if I didn’t require him to finish a figure for the Cheapside, for which he had begun to sit the week before, I told him that I had changed my mind—I would do the drawing from my man. At this my visitor turned pale and stood looking at me. “Is he your idea of an English gentleman?” he asked.
Then it hit me that she had put in a huge effort for me—done it with a sort of nobility—and that I owed her something in return. Every time I saw her after that, I wondered what that payment could be. I couldn't keep doing the wrong thing to please them. Oh, it really was the wrong thing, the mark of the work for which they posed—Hawley wasn't the only one saying this now. I submitted a lot of the drawings I had created for “Rutland Ramsay,” and I got a warning that was more relevant than Hawley's. The artistic advisor at the company I was working for thought that many of my illustrations didn’t match what they had expected. Most of these illustrations featured the Monarchs. Without delving into what had actually been expected, I realized that at this rate, I wouldn’t get the other books to work on. In despair, I threw myself at Miss Churm, putting her through all her paces. I not only publicly adopted Oronte as my hero, but one morning when the Major dropped by to see if I needed him to finish a figure for the Cheapside, for which he had started posing the week before, I told him I’d changed my mind—I would do the drawing from my own model. At this, my visitor turned pale and stared at me. “Is he your idea of an English gentleman?” he asked.
I was disappointed, I was nervous, I wanted to get on with my work; so I replied with irritation: “Oh, my dear Major—I can’t be ruined for you!”
I was let down, I was anxious, I wanted to get back to my work; so I responded with annoyance: “Oh, my dear Major—I can’t be messed up for you!”
He stood another moment; then, without a word, he quitted the studio. I drew a long breath when he was gone, for I said to myself that I shouldn’t see him again. I had not told him definitely that I was in danger of having my work rejected, but I was vexed at his not having felt the catastrophe in the air, read with me the moral of our fruitless collaboration, the lesson that, in the deceptive atmosphere of art, even the highest respectability may fail of being plastic.
He stood for a moment longer; then, without saying anything, he left the studio. I let out a long breath once he was gone, because I told myself I wouldn’t see him again. I hadn’t specifically told him that my work was at risk of being rejected, but I was frustrated that he hadn’t sensed the disaster looming, hadn’t grasped the lesson of our unproductive collaboration—the idea that, in the misleading world of art, even the most respected work can fail to be impactful.
I didn’t owe my friends money, but I did see them again. They re-appeared together, three days later, and under the circumstances there was something tragic in the fact. It was a proof to me that they could find nothing else in life to do. They had threshed the matter out in a dismal conference—they had digested the bad news that they were not in for the series. If they were not useful to me even for the Cheapside their function seemed difficult to determine, and I could only judge at first that they had come, forgivingly, decorously, to take a last leave. This made me rejoice in secret that I had little leisure for a scene; for I had placed both my other models in position together and I was pegging away at a drawing from which I hoped to derive glory. It had been suggested by the passage in which Rutland Ramsay, drawing up a chair to Artemisia’s piano-stool, says extraordinary things to her while she ostensibly fingers out a difficult piece of music. I had done Miss Churm at the piano before—it was an attitude in which she knew how to take on an absolutely poetic grace. I wished the two figures to “compose” together, intensely, and my little Italian had entered perfectly into my conception. The pair were vividly before me, the piano had been pulled out; it was a charming picture of blended youth and murmured love, which I had only to catch and keep. My visitors stood and looked at it, and I was friendly to them over my shoulder.
I didn’t owe my friends any money, but I saw them again. They showed up together three days later, and given the situation, it felt kind of tragic. It proved to me that they couldn’t find anything better to do in life. They must have had a gloomy discussion—they had accepted the bad news that they weren’t included in the series. If they weren’t even useful to me for the Cheapside, it was hard to know what their role was, and I could only assume at first that they had come, forgivingly and politely, to say goodbye one last time. This made me secretly happy that I didn’t have time for a dramatic scene; I had positioned both my other models together and was focused on a drawing I hoped would bring me some recognition. It was inspired by the moment when Rutland Ramsay, pulling up a chair to Artemisia’s piano-stool, says incredible things to her while she pretends to play a difficult piece of music. I had already portrayed Miss Churm at the piano before—it was a pose that gave her an absolutely poetic grace. I wanted the two figures to “compose” together, intensely, and my little Italian had perfectly embraced my vision. The couple was vividly in my mind, the piano had been pulled out; it was a lovely scene of youthful intimacy and whispered affection, which I just had to capture and hold onto. My visitors stood there, looking at it, and I acknowledged them kindly over my shoulder.
They made no response, but I was used to silent company and went on with my work, only a little disconcerted (even though exhilarated by the sense that this was at least the ideal thing), at not having got rid of them after all. Presently I heard Mrs. Monarch’s sweet voice beside, or rather above me: “I wish her hair was a little better done.” I looked up and she was staring with a strange fixedness at Miss Churm, whose back was turned to her. “Do you mind my just touching it?” she went on—a question which made me spring up for an instant, as with the instinctive fear that she might do the young lady a harm. But she quieted me with a glance I shall never forget—I confess I should like to have been able to paint that—and went for a moment to my model. She spoke to her softly, laying a hand upon her shoulder and bending over her; and as the girl, understanding, gratefully assented, she disposed her rough curls, with a few quick passes, in such a way as to make Miss Churm’s head twice as charming. It was one of the most heroic personal services I have ever seen rendered. Then Mrs. Monarch turned away with a low sigh and, looking about her as if for something to do, stooped to the floor with a noble humility and picked up a dirty rag that had dropped out of my paint-box.
They didn’t respond, but I was used to quiet company and continued with my work, feeling a bit unsettled (even though I was thrilled by the idea that this was at least perfect), that I hadn’t been able to get rid of them after all. Soon, I heard Mrs. Monarch’s sweet voice near, or rather above, me: “I wish her hair was a little better styled.” I looked up and she was staring with a strange intensity at Miss Churm, whose back was to her. “Do you mind if I just touch it?” she continued—a question that made me momentarily jump up, instinctively afraid she might hurt the young lady. But she calmed me with a glance I will never forget—I admit I wish I could have captured that—and went for a moment to my model. She spoke softly to her, resting a hand on her shoulder and leaning over her; and as the girl, understanding, gratefully agreed, she arranged her wild curls with a few quick moves to make Miss Churm’s head twice as lovely. It was one of the most impressive personal acts I’ve ever witnessed. Then Mrs. Monarch turned away with a quiet sigh and, looking around as if searching for something to do, bent down with great humility and picked up a dirty rag that had fallen from my paint box.
The Major meanwhile had also been looking for something to do and, wandering to the other end of the studio, saw before him my breakfast things, neglected, unremoved. “I say, can’t I be useful here?” he called out to me with an irrepressible quaver. I assented with a laugh that I fear was awkward and for the next ten minutes, while I worked, I heard the light clatter of china and the tinkle of spoons and glass. Mrs. Monarch assisted her husband—they washed up my crockery, they put it away. They wandered off into my little scullery, and I afterwards found that they had cleaned my knives and that my slender stock of plate had an unprecedented surface. When it came over me, the latent eloquence of what they were doing, I confess that my drawing was blurred for a moment—the picture swam. They had accepted their failure, but they couldn’t accept their fate. They had bowed their heads in bewilderment to the perverse and cruel law in virtue of which the real thing could be so much less precious than the unreal; but they didn’t want to starve. If my servants were my models, my models might be my servants. They would reverse the parts—the others would sit for the ladies and gentlemen, and they would do the work. They would still be in the studio—it was an intense dumb appeal to me not to turn them out. “Take us on,” they wanted to say—“we’ll do anything.”
The Major, meanwhile, was also looking for something to do and, wandering to the other end of the studio, noticed my untouched breakfast items. “Hey, can’t I help here?” he called out to me with an excited tremor. I responded with a laugh that I realize was probably awkward, and for the next ten minutes, while I worked, I heard the light clinking of dishes and the tinkling of spoons and glasses. Mrs. Monarch helped her husband—they washed my dishes, put them away. They wandered off into my little pantry, and later I discovered they had cleaned my knives and that my few plates had an unexpected shine. When it dawned on me the deeper meaning of what they were doing, I admit my drawing became blurry for a moment—the image wavered. They had accepted their failure, but they couldn’t accept their situation. They had bowed their heads in confusion to the unfair and harsh reality that the real thing could be so much less valuable than the fake; but they didn’t want to starve. If my servants were my models, then my models might be my servants. They would switch roles—the others would pose as the ladies and gentlemen, and they would do the work. They would still be in the studio—it was an intense, silent plea to me not to kick them out. “Give us a chance,” they seemed to say—“we'll do anything.”
When all this hung before me the afflatus vanished—my pencil dropped from my hand. My sitting was spoiled and I got rid of my sitters, who were also evidently rather mystified and awestruck. Then, alone with the Major and his wife, I had a most uncomfortable moment, He put their prayer into a single sentence: “I say, you know—just let us do for you, can’t you?” I couldn’t—it was dreadful to see them emptying my slops; but I pretended I could, to oblige them, for about a week. Then I gave them a sum of money to go away; and I never saw them again. I obtained the remaining books, but my friend Hawley repeats that Major and Mrs. Monarch did me a permanent harm, got me into a second-rate trick. If it be true I am content to have paid the price—for the memory.
When all this was looming over me, the inspiration vanished—my pencil fell from my hand. My session was ruined, and I dismissed my sitters, who seemed just as confused and awed. Then, alone with the Major and his wife, I had an extremely awkward moment. He condensed their plea into one sentence: “I mean, please—just let us help you, okay?” I really couldn’t—it was terrible to see them dealing with my mess; but I pretended I could, to be polite, for about a week. Then I gave them some money to leave; and I never saw them again. I got the rest of the books, but my friend Hawley insists that Major and Mrs. Monarch did me lasting harm, dragged me into a second-rate trick. If that’s true, I’m fine with having paid the price—for the memory.
p. 45SIR DOMINICK FERRAND.
I.
“There are several objections to it, but I’ll take it if you’ll alter it,” Mr. Locket’s rather curt note had said; and there was no waste of words in the postscript in which he had added: “If you’ll come in and see me, I’ll show you what I mean.” This communication had reached Jersey Villas by the first post, and Peter Baron had scarcely swallowed his leathery muffin before he got into motion to obey the editorial behest. He knew that such precipitation looked eager, and he had no desire to look eager—it was not in his interest; but how could he maintain a godlike calm, principled though he was in favour of it, the first time one of the great magazines had accepted, even with a cruel reservation, a specimen of his ardent young genius?
"There are several objections to it, but I’ll take it if you’ll change it,” Mr. Locket’s somewhat blunt note had said; and there was no fluff in the postscript where he added: “If you’ll come in and see me, I’ll explain what I mean.” This message had reached Jersey Villas with the first mail, and Peter Baron had barely finished his tough muffin before he moved to fulfill the editorial request. He knew that such quickness might seem eager, and he didn’t want to appear eager—it wasn’t in his interest; but how could he stay cool, even though he was principled in his support of it, the first time one of the major magazines had accepted, even with a harsh condition, a sample of his enthusiastic young talent?
It was not till, like a child with a sea-shell at his ear, he began to be aware of the great roar of the “underground,” that, in his third-class carriage, the cruelty of the reservation penetrated, with the taste of acrid smoke, to his inner sense. It was really degrading to be eager in the face of having to “alter.” Peter Baron tried to figure to himself at that moment that he was not flying to betray the extremity of his need, but hurrying to fight for some of those passages of superior boldness which were exactly what the conductor of the “Promiscuous Review” would be sure to be down upon. He made believe—as if to the greasy fellow-passenger opposite—that he felt indignant; but he saw that to the small round eye of this still more downtrodden brother he represented selfish success. He would have liked to linger in the conception that he had been “approached” by the Promiscuous; but whatever might be thought in the office of that periodical of some of his flights of fancy, there was no want of vividness in his occasional suspicion that he passed there for a familiar bore. The only thing that was clearly flattering was the fact that the Promiscuous rarely published fiction. He should therefore be associated with a deviation from a solemn habit, and that would more than make up to him for a phrase in one of Mr. Locket’s inexorable earlier notes, a phrase which still rankled, about his showing no symptom of the faculty really creative. “You don’t seem able to keep a character together,” this pitiless monitor had somewhere else remarked. Peter Baron, as he sat in his corner while the train stopped, considered, in the befogged gaslight, the bookstall standard of literature and asked himself whose character had fallen to pieces now. Tormenting indeed had always seemed to him such a fate as to have the creative head without the creative hand.
It wasn’t until, like a kid holding a seashell to his ear, he started to notice the loud noise of the “underground” that, in his third-class carriage, the harshness of the reservation hit him, along with the taste of bitter smoke. It felt degrading to be excited about having to “change.” Peter Baron tried to convince himself at that moment that he wasn’t rushing to reveal how desperate he was, but instead hurrying to fight for some of those bold passages that the editor of the “Promiscuous Review” would definitely criticize. He pretended—as if for the greasy fellow passenger across from him—that he felt outraged; but he realized that, to the small round eye of this even more downtrodden guy, he represented selfish success. He would have liked to linger in the idea that he had been “approached” by the Promiscuous; but regardless of what might be thought in the office of that magazine about some of his flights of fancy, he couldn’t shake off the suspicion that he was seen there as a familiar bore. The only clearly flattering aspect was the fact that the Promiscuous rarely published fiction. He should then be seen as a break from a serious norm, and that would make up for a phrase in one of Mr. Locket’s unyielding earlier notes, a phrase that still bothered him, about his showing no signs of genuine creative ability. “You don’t seem able to keep a character together,” this relentless critic had remarked somewhere else. Peter Baron, as he sat in his corner while the train stopped, contemplated, under the dull gaslight, the standard of literature at the book stall and asked himself whose character had fallen apart now. It had always seemed to him tormenting to have the creative mind without the creative skill.
It should be mentioned, however, that before he started on his mission to Mr. Locket his attention had been briefly engaged by an incident occurring at Jersey Villas. On leaving the house (he lived at No. 3, the door of which stood open to a small front garden), he encountered the lady who, a week before, had taken possession of the rooms on the ground floor, the “parlours” of Mrs. Bundy’s terminology. He had heard her, and from his window, two or three times, had even seen her pass in and out, and this observation had created in his mind a vague prejudice in her favour. Such a prejudice, it was true, had been subjected to a violent test; it had been fairly apparent that she had a light step, but it was still less to be overlooked that she had a cottage piano. She had furthermore a little boy and a very sweet voice, of which Peter Baron had caught the accent, not from her singing (for she only played), but from her gay admonitions to her child, whom she occasionally allowed to amuse himself—under restrictions very publicly enforced—in the tiny black patch which, as a forecourt to each house, was held, in the humble row, to be a feature. Jersey Villas stood in pairs, semi-detached, and Mrs. Ryves—such was the name under which the new lodger presented herself—had been admitted to the house as confessedly musical. Mrs. Bundy, the earnest proprietress of No. 3, who considered her “parlours” (they were a dozen feet square), even more attractive, if possible, than the second floor with which Baron had had to content himself—Mrs. Bundy, who reserved the drawing-room for a casual dressmaking business, had threshed out the subject of the new lodger in advance with our young man, reminding him that her affection for his own person was a proof that, other things being equal, she positively preferred tenants who were clever.
It should be noted, though, that before he set off on his mission to Mr. Locket, he was briefly distracted by an incident at Jersey Villas. As he left his house (he lived at No. 3, the door of which opened into a small front garden), he ran into the woman who, a week earlier, had moved into the ground floor rooms, the “parlours” as Mrs. Bundy called them. He had heard her and, from his window, had even seen her come and go a few times, which had formed a vague positive impression of her in his mind. This impression had certainly been put to the test; she seemed to have a light step, but it was even harder to ignore the fact that she had a cottage piano. She also had a little boy and a very sweet voice, whose tone Peter Baron recognized, not from her singing (since she only played), but from her cheerful instructions to her child, whom she occasionally allowed to play—under some very public restrictions—in the tiny black patch considered a front yard for each house in the modest row. Jersey Villas were arranged in pairs, semi-detached, and Mrs. Ryves—this was the name the new tenant went by—had been welcomed into the house as someone known to be musical. Mrs. Bundy, the dedicated owner of No. 3, who thought her “parlours” (which were only a dozen feet square) were, if possible, more appealing than the second floor where Baron had to settle—Mrs. Bundy, who kept the drawing-room for an occasional dressmaking business, had discussed the new tenant with our young man beforehand, reminding him that her liking for him was evidence that, all else being equal, she definitely preferred renters who were intelligent.
This was the case with Mrs. Ryves; she had satisfied Mrs. Bundy that she was not a simple strummer. Mrs. Bundy admitted to Peter Baron that, for herself, she had a weakness for a pretty tune, and Peter could honestly reply that his ear was equally sensitive. Everything would depend on the “touch” of their inmate. Mrs. Ryves’s piano would blight his existence if her hand should prove heavy or her selections vulgar; but if she played agreeable things and played them in an agreeable way she would render him rather a service while he smoked the pipe of “form.” Mrs. Bundy, who wanted to let her rooms, guaranteed on the part of the stranger a first-class talent, and Mrs. Ryves, who evidently knew thoroughly what she was about, had not falsified this somewhat rash prediction. She never played in the morning, which was Baron’s working-time, and he found himself listening with pleasure at other hours to her discreet and melancholy strains. He really knew little about music, and the only criticism he would have made of Mrs. Ryves’s conception of it was that she seemed devoted to the dismal. It was not, however, that these strains were not pleasant to him; they floated up, on the contrary, as a sort of conscious response to some of his broodings and doubts. Harmony, therefore, would have reigned supreme had it not been for the singularly bad taste of No. 4. Mrs. Ryves’s piano was on the free side of the house and was regarded by Mrs. Bundy as open to no objection but that of their own gentleman, who was so reasonable. As much, however, could not be said of the gentleman of No. 4, who had not even Mr. Baron’s excuse of being “littery” (he kept a bull-terrier and had five hats—the street could count them), and whom, if you had listened to Mrs. Bundy, you would have supposed to be divided from the obnoxious instrument by walls and corridors, obstacles and intervals, of massive structure and fabulous extent. This gentleman had taken up an attitude which had now passed into the phase of correspondence and compromise; but it was the opinion of the immediate neighbourhood that he had not a leg to stand upon, and on whatever subject the sentiment of Jersey Villas might have been vague, it was not so on the rights and the wrongs of landladies.
This was true for Mrs. Ryves; she had convinced Mrs. Bundy that she wasn’t just some simple player. Mrs. Bundy admitted to Peter Baron that, personally, she had a weakness for a pretty tune, and Peter could honestly say that he had a similar sensitivity. Everything would hinge on the “touch” of their tenant. Mrs. Ryves’s piano would ruin his experience if her playing was heavy-handed or her song choices were tacky; but if she played pleasant pieces and performed them well, she would do him a favor while he relaxed with his “form” pipe. Mrs. Bundy, who wanted to rent her rooms, promised that the stranger had first-class talent, and Mrs. Ryves, who clearly knew what she was doing, did not let down this somewhat bold prediction. She never played in the morning, which was when Baron was working, and he found himself pleasantly listening at other times to her subtle and melancholic melodies. He didn’t really know much about music, and the only criticism he might have had of Mrs. Ryves’s take on it was that she seemed drawn to the gloomy. However, it wasn’t that those tunes weren’t enjoyable to him; they emerged, in fact, as a sort of conscious reply to some of his musings and uncertainties. Harmony would have ruled supreme if it weren’t for the remarkably poor taste of No. 4. Mrs. Ryves’s piano was on the free side of the house and Mrs. Bundy considered it to be without objection except for their own gentleman, who was quite reasonable. However, the same couldn’t be said for the gentleman of No. 4, who didn’t even have Mr. Baron’s excuse of being “literary” (he owned a bull-terrier and had five hats—the street could count them), and if you had listened to Mrs. Bundy, you’d think that he was separated from the annoying instrument by walls and corridors, obstacles and distances, of solid structure and legendary size. This gentleman had taken on an attitude that had now evolved into a phase of correspondence and compromise; but the consensus of the immediate neighborhood was that he didn’t have a leg to stand on, and whatever other issues the sentiment of Jersey Villas might have been unclear on, it wasn’t about the rights and wrongs of landladies.
Mrs. Ryves’s little boy was in the garden as Peter Baron issued from the house, and his mother appeared to have come out for a moment, bareheaded, to see that he was doing no harm. She was discussing with him the responsibility that he might incur by passing a piece of string round one of the iron palings and pretending he was in command of a “geegee”; but it happened that at the sight of the other lodger the child was seized with a finer perception of the drivable. He rushed at Baron with a flourish of the bridle, shouting, “Ou geegee!” in a manner productive of some refined embarrassment to his mother. Baron met his advance by mounting him on a shoulder and feigning to prance an instant, so that by the time this performance was over—it took but a few seconds—the young man felt introduced to Mrs. Ryves. Her smile struck him as charming, and such an impression shortens many steps. She said, “Oh, thank you—you mustn’t let him worry you”; and then as, having put down the child and raised his hat, he was turning away, she added: “It’s very good of you not to complain of my piano.”
Mrs. Ryves’s little boy was in the garden when Peter Baron came out of the house, and his mother seemed to have stepped outside for a moment, without her hat, to check that he wasn't getting into trouble. She was talking to him about the responsibility he might have for tying a piece of string around one of the iron fences and pretending he was in charge of a “horse”; but when the child saw the other lodger, he suddenly had a clearer idea of being able to drive. He ran at Baron with a flourish of the reins, shouting, “Look, horse!” in a way that made his mother feel a bit embarrassed. Baron responded by lifting him onto his shoulder and pretending to gallop for a moment, so that by the time this little act was over—which took only a few seconds—the young man felt introduced to Mrs. Ryves. Her smile seemed charming to him, and that kind of impression goes a long way. She said, “Oh, thank you—you really shouldn’t feel inconvenienced by him”; and then, as he put the child down and tipped his hat, he was turning to leave when she added: “It’s very kind of you not to complain about my piano.”
“I particularly enjoy it—you play beautifully,” said Peter Baron.
“I really enjoy it—you play beautifully,” said Peter Baron.
“I have to play, you see—it’s all I can do. But the people next door don’t like it, though my room, you know, is not against their wall. Therefore I thank you for letting me tell them that you, in the house, don’t find me a nuisance.”
“I have to play, you see—it’s all I can do. But the neighbors don’t like it, even though my room isn’t connected to their wall. So, I appreciate you letting me tell them that you, in the house, don’t think I’m a bother.”
She looked gentle and bright as she spoke, and as the young man’s eyes rested on her the tolerance for which she expressed herself indebted seemed to him the least indulgence she might count upon. But he only laughed and said “Oh, no, you’re not a nuisance!” and felt more and more introduced.
She looked kind and lively as she spoke, and as the young man's gaze lingered on her, the gratitude she expressed felt like the least he could offer. But he just laughed and said, “Oh, no, you’re not annoying!” and felt more and more welcomed.
The little boy, who was handsome, hereupon clamoured for another ride, and she took him up herself, to moderate his transports. She stood a moment with the child in her arms, and he put his fingers exuberantly into her hair, so that while she smiled at Baron she slowly, permittingly shook her head to get rid of them.
The little boy, who was adorable, then shouted for another ride, and she picked him up herself to calm him down. She stood there for a moment with the child in her arms, and he excitedly ran his fingers through her hair, so while she smiled at the Baron, she slowly shook her head to gently get him to stop.
“If they really make a fuss I’m afraid I shall have to go,” she went on.
“If they make a big deal out of it, I’m afraid I’ll have to leave,” she continued.
“Oh, don’t go!” Baron broke out, with a sudden expressiveness which made his voice, as it fell upon his ear, strike him as the voice of another. She gave a vague exclamation and, nodding slightly but not unsociably, passed back into the house. She had made an impression which remained till the other party to the conversation reached the railway-station, when it was superseded by the thought of his prospective discussion with Mr. Locket. This was a proof of the intensity of that interest.
“Oh, don’t go!” the Baron exclaimed, his sudden emotion making his voice sound foreign to him as it echoed in his ears. She let out a vague sound and, giving a slight nod that was not unfriendly, stepped back into the house. She had left an impression that lingered until he arrived at the train station, where it was replaced by thoughts of his upcoming conversation with Mr. Locket. This showed just how strong that interest was.
The aftertaste of the later conference was also intense for Peter Baron, who quitted his editor with his manuscript under his arm. He had had the question out with Mr. Locket, and he was in a flutter which ought to have been a sense of triumph and which indeed at first he succeeded in regarding in this light. Mr. Locket had had to admit that there was an idea in his story, and that was a tribute which Baron was in a position to make the most of. But there was also a scene which scandalised the editorial conscience and which the young man had promised to rewrite. The idea that Mr. Locket had been so good as to disengage depended for clearness mainly on this scene; so it was easy to see his objection was perverse. This inference was probably a part of the joy in which Peter Baron walked as he carried home a contribution it pleased him to classify as accepted. He walked to work off his excitement and to think in what manner he should reconstruct. He went some distance without settling that point, and then, as it began to worry him, he looked vaguely into shop-windows for solutions and hints. Mr. Locket lived in the depths of Chelsea, in a little panelled, amiable house, and Baron took his way homeward along the King’s Road. There was a new amusement for him, a fresher bustle, in a London walk in the morning; these were hours that he habitually spent at his table, in the awkward attitude engendered by the poor piece of furniture, one of the rickety features of Mrs. Bundy’s second floor, which had to serve as his altar of literary sacrifice. If by exception he went out when the day was young he noticed that life seemed younger with it; there were livelier industries to profit by and shop-girls, often rosy, to look at; a different air was in the streets and a chaff of traffic for the observer of manners to catch. Above all, it was the time when poor Baron made his purchases, which were wholly of the wandering mind; his extravagances, for some mysterious reason, were all matutinal, and he had a foreknowledge that if ever he should ruin himself it would be well before noon. He felt lavish this morning, on the strength of what the Promiscuous would do for him; he had lost sight for the moment of what he should have to do for the Promiscuous. Before the old bookshops and printshops, the crowded panes of the curiosity-mongers and the desirable exhibitions of mahogany “done up,” he used, by an innocent process, to commit luxurious follies. He refurnished Mrs. Bundy with a freedom that cost her nothing, and lost himself in pictures of a transfigured second floor.
The aftertaste of the conference lingered strongly for Peter Baron, who left his editor's office with his manuscript tucked under his arm. He had discussed the issue with Mr. Locket, and he was caught in a mix of emotions that should have felt like triumph, which he initially managed to see that way. Mr. Locket had to concede that there was an idea in his story, and Baron knew he could capitalise on that compliment. However, there was also a scene that upset the editorial standards, and the young man had promised to revise it. The clarity of the idea Mr. Locket recognized largely relied on that scene, so it was clear his objection was somewhat unreasonable. This realization likely contributed to the joy Peter Baron felt as he headed home with what he was pleased to call an accepted contribution. He walked to dissipate his excitement and think about how he should revise it. He covered some distance without figuring that out, and then, as it started to bother him, he glanced into shop windows for ideas and inspiration. Mr. Locket lived deep in Chelsea, in a charming little panelled house, and Baron made his way home along the King’s Road. There was a new enjoyment and a fresher energy in his morning stroll through London; these were hours he usually spent at his desk, in the awkward position forced by the shabby piece of furniture, one of the creaky aspects of Mrs. Bundy’s second floor, which served as his place for literary work. If he unusually ventured out early in the day, he noticed that life felt more vibrant; there were more lively activities to observe and often rosy shop girls to watch; the streets had a different atmosphere and a buzz of traffic for someone observing social habits to catch. Above all, it was when Baron made his purchases, driven entirely by whims; for some unknown reason, all his splurges happened in the morning, and he had an instinct that if he ever did bankrupt himself, it would definitely be before noon. This morning he felt extravagant, buoyed by what the Promiscuous would do for him; he had temporarily overlooked what he would owe the Promiscuous. In front of old bookstores and print shops, crowded displays of knick-knacks, and alluring showcases of polished mahogany, he innocently indulged in luxurious mistakes. He refurbished Mrs. Bundy’s space freely, which cost her nothing, and lost himself in visions of a transformed second floor.
On this particular occasion the King’s Road proved almost unprecedentedly expensive, and indeed this occasion differed from most others in containing the germ of real danger. For once in a way he had a bad conscience—he felt himself tempted to pick his own pocket. He never saw a commodious writing-table, with elbow-room and drawers and a fair expanse of leather stamped neatly at the edge with gilt, without being freshly reminded of Mrs. Bundy’s dilapidations. There were several such tables in the King’s Road—they seemed indeed particularly numerous today. Peter Baron glanced at them all through the fronts of the shops, but there was one that detained him in supreme contemplation. There was a fine assurance about it which seemed a guarantee of masterpieces; but when at last he went in and, just to help himself on his way, asked the impossible price, the sum mentioned by the voluble vendor mocked at him even more than he had feared. It was far too expensive, as he hinted, and he was on the point of completing his comedy by a pensive retreat when the shopman bespoke his attention for another article of the same general character, which he described as remarkably cheap for what it was. It was an old piece, from a sale in the country, and it had been in stock some time; but it had got pushed out of sight in one of the upper rooms—they contained such a wilderness of treasures—and happened to have but just come to light. Peter suffered himself to be conducted into an interminable dusky rear, where he presently found himself bending over one of those square substantial desks of old mahogany, raised, with the aid of front legs, on a sort of retreating pedestal which is fitted with small drawers, contracted conveniences known immemorially to the knowing as davenports. This specimen had visibly seen service, but it had an old-time solidity and to Peter Baron it unexpectedly appealed.
On this particular occasion, the King’s Road turned out to be unusually expensive, and in fact, this visit was different from most others because it held the potential for real danger. For once, he felt guilty—he was tempted to steal from himself. He couldn't look at a nice writing desk, with space to work, drawers, and a nice leather surface edged in gold, without being reminded of Mrs. Bundy’s past mistakes. There were quite a few such desks along the King’s Road—they seemed especially plentiful today. Peter Baron glanced at all of them through the shop windows, but one in particular caught his attention, holding him in deep thought. It had a certain assurance about it that suggested it could be the source of great creations; however, when he finally went inside and asked the vendor for the exorbitant price, the amount mentioned mocked him even more than he had anticipated. It was far too steep, as he implied, and just as he was about to make a pensive exit, the shop assistant drew his attention to another similar piece that was described as surprisingly affordable for what it was. It was an old item from a country sale that had been in stock for a while but had been tucked away in one of the upper rooms—where treasures often got lost—and had just come to light. Peter allowed himself to be led into a long, dimly lit back room, where he soon found himself leaning over one of those sturdy, square desks made of old mahogany, elevated with front legs on a kind of pedestal fitted with small drawers—known to those in the know as davenports. This piece showed signs of wear but had a classic sturdiness that unexpectedly appealed to Peter Baron.
He would have said in advance that such an article was exactly what he didn’t want, but as the shopman pushed up a chair for him and he sat down with his elbows on the gentle slope of the large, firm lid, he felt that such a basis for literature would be half the battle. He raised the lid and looked lovingly into the deep interior; he sat ominously silent while his companion dropped the striking words: “Now that’s an article I personally covet!” Then when the man mentioned the ridiculous price (they were literally giving it away), he reflected on the economy of having a literary altar on which one could really kindle a fire. A davenport was a compromise, but what was all life but a compromise? He could beat down the dealer, and at Mrs. Bundy’s he had to write on an insincere card-table. After he had sat for a minute with his nose in the friendly desk he had a queer impression that it might tell him a secret or two—one of the secrets of form, one of the sacrificial mysteries—though no doubt its career had been literary only in the sense of its helping some old lady to write invitations to dull dinners. There was a strange, faint odour in the receptacle, as if fragrant, hallowed things had once been put away there. When he took his head out of it he said to the shopman: “I don’t mind meeting you halfway.” He had been told by knowing people that that was the right thing. He felt rather vulgar, but the davenport arrived that evening at Jersey Villas.
He would have said upfront that an article like that was exactly what he didn’t want, but as the shopkeeper pulled out a chair for him and he sat down with his elbows on the gently sloping, solid lid, he realized that having a solid base for writing would be half the battle. He lifted the lid and looked affectionately into the deep interior; he remained ominously quiet while his companion dropped the telling line: “Now that’s an article I personally desire!” Then, when the man mentioned the ridiculous price (they were practically giving it away), he thought about the practicality of having a literary space where he could really get inspired. A davenport was a compromise, but what was life if not a series of compromises? He could negotiate with the dealer, and at Mrs. Bundy’s he had to write at a rather tacky card table. After sitting for a minute with his nose in the inviting desk, he got a strange feeling that it might reveal a secret or two—one of the secrets of writing, one of the sacred mysteries—though its history had probably only been literary in the sense of helping some old lady write invitations to boring dinners. There was a peculiar, faint scent in the desk, as if aromatic, treasured things had once been stored there. When he pulled his head out of it, he said to the shopkeeper: “I don’t mind meeting you halfway.” He had been told by knowledgeable people that this was the right approach. He felt a bit tacky, but the davenport arrived that evening at Jersey Villas.
II.
“I daresay it will be all right; he seems quiet now,” said the poor lady of the “parlours” a few days later, in reference to their litigious neighbour and the precarious piano. The two lodgers had grown regularly acquainted, and the piano had had much to do with it. Just as this instrument served, with the gentleman at No. 4, as a theme for discussion, so between Peter Baron and the lady of the parlours it had become a basis of peculiar agreement, a topic, at any rate, of conversation frequently renewed. Mrs. Ryves was so prepossessing that Peter was sure that even if they had not had the piano he would have found something else to thresh out with her. Fortunately however they did have it, and he, at least, made the most of it, knowing more now about his new friend, who when, widowed and fatigued, she held her beautiful child in her arms, looked dimly like a modern Madonna. Mrs. Bundy, as a letter of furnished lodgings, was characterised in general by a familiar domestic severity in respect to picturesque young women, but she had the highest confidence in Mrs. Ryves. She was luminous about her being a lady, and a lady who could bring Mrs. Bundy back to a gratified recognition of one of those manifestations of mind for which she had an independent esteem. She was professional, but Jersey Villas could be proud of a profession that didn’t happen to be the wrong one—they had seen something of that. Mrs. Ryves had a hundred a year (Baron wondered how Mrs. Bundy knew this; he thought it unlikely Mrs. Ryves had told her), and for the rest she depended on her lovely music. Baron judged that her music, even though lovely, was a frail dependence; it would hardly help to fill a concert-room, and he asked himself at first whether she played country-dances at children’s parties or gave lessons to young ladies who studied above their station.
“I think it’ll be fine; he seems calm now,” said the poor woman from the “parlours” a few days later, referring to their legal neighbor and the precarious piano. The two lodgers had become regular acquaintances, and the piano played a big role in that. Just as the instrument sparked conversation with the gentleman in No. 4, it had become a unique point of connection between Peter Baron and the lady of the parlours, a topic they often revisited. Mrs. Ryves was so charming that Peter was sure he would have found something else to discuss with her even without the piano. Fortunately, they did have it, and he made the most of the situation, learning more about his new friend, who, when she held her beautiful child in her arms, looked faintly like a modern Madonna. Mrs. Bundy, who managed the furnished lodgings, generally displayed a familiar domestic strictness towards picturesque young women, but she had great confidence in Mrs. Ryves. She was certain about Mrs. Ryves being a lady, and a lady who could restore Mrs. Bundy’s appreciation for those qualities of mind that she regarded with independent respect. She was a professional, but Jersey Villas could be proud of a profession that wasn’t the wrong one—they had seen a fair share of that. Mrs. Ryves earned a hundred a year (Baron wondered how Mrs. Bundy knew this; he thought it unlikely Mrs. Ryves had mentioned it), and beyond that, she relied on her beautiful music. Baron thought that her music, while lovely, was a fragile safety net; it probably wouldn't fill a concert hall, and he initially questioned whether she played country dances at children's parties or taught lessons to young ladies studying above their means.
Very soon, indeed, he was sufficiently enlightened; it all went fast, for the little boy had been almost as great a help as the piano. Sidney haunted the doorstep of No. 3 he was eminently sociable, and had established independent relations with Peter, a frequent feature of which was an adventurous visit, upstairs, to picture books criticised for not being all geegees and walking sticks happily more conformable. The young man’s window, too, looked out on their acquaintance; through a starched muslin curtain it kept his neighbour before him, made him almost more aware of her comings and goings than he felt he had a right to be. He was capable of a shyness of curiosity about her and of dumb little delicacies of consideration. She did give a few lessons; they were essentially local, and he ended by knowing more or less what she went out for and what she came in from. She had almost no visitors, only a decent old lady or two, and, every day, poor dingy Miss Teagle, who was also ancient and who came humbly enough to governess the infant of the parlours. Peter Baron’s window had always, to his sense, looked out on a good deal of life, and one of the things it had most shown him was that there is nobody so bereft of joy as not to be able to command for twopence the services of somebody less joyous. Mrs. Ryves was a struggler (Baron scarcely liked to think of it), but she occupied a pinnacle for Miss Teagle, who had lived on—and from a noble nursery—into a period of diplomas and humiliation.
Very soon, he was pretty well informed; it all happened quickly, since the little boy had been almost as much help as the piano. Sidney often hung out on the doorstep of No. 3; he was very social and had formed his own relationship with Peter, which often included adventurous visits upstairs to picture books criticized for not being all geegees, while walking sticks were happily more acceptable. The young man's window also looked out on their interactions; through a starched muslin curtain, he kept an eye on his neighbor, becoming almost more aware of her comings and goings than he felt he should be. He had a shy curiosity about her and showed simple little gestures of consideration. She gave a few lessons; they were mostly local, and he ended up knowing quite a bit about her outings and returns. She hardly had any visitors, just a couple of respectable older ladies, and every day, poor shabby Miss Teagle, who was also elderly and came to tutor the child of the household. To Peter Baron, his window had always looked out on a lot of life, and one of the most important lessons it taught him was that no one is so devoid of joy that they can't pay someone less joyful a little bit. Mrs. Ryves was struggling (Baron didn't like to dwell on it), but she was held in high regard by Miss Teagle, who had gone from a privileged childhood into a life filled with diplomas and humiliation.
Mrs. Ryves sometimes went out, like Baron himself, with manuscripts under her arm, and, still more like Baron, she almost always came back with them. Her vain approaches were to the music-sellers; she tried to compose—to produce songs that would make a hit. A successful song was an income, she confided to Peter one of the first times he took Sidney, blasé and drowsy, back to his mother. It was not on one of these occasions, but once when he had come in on no better pretext than that of simply wanting to (she had after all virtually invited him), that she mentioned how only one song in a thousand was successful and that the terrible difficulty was in getting the right words. This rightness was just a vulgar “fluke”—there were lots of words really clever that were of no use at all. Peter said, laughing, that he supposed any words he should try to produce would be sure to be too clever; yet only three weeks after his first encounter with Mrs. Ryves he sat at his delightful davenport (well aware that he had duties more pressing), trying to string together rhymes idiotic enough to make his neighbour’s fortune. He was satisfied of the fineness of her musical gift—it had the touching note. The touching note was in her person as well.
Mrs. Ryves sometimes went out, much like Baron, with manuscripts under her arm, and, even more like Baron, she almost always returned with them. Her desperate attempts were directed at music sellers; she tried to write songs that would be hits. A successful song meant income, she confided to Peter one of the first times he brought back a tired and indifferent Sidney to her. It wasn't during one of those times, but rather when he came over just because he wanted to (she had practically invited him), that she mentioned how only one song out of a thousand becomes successful and how incredibly hard it is to find the right words. This "rightness" was really just a sheer “fluke”—there were plenty of clever words that didn’t work at all. Peter laughed and said he figured any words he tried to come up with would definitely be too clever; yet just three weeks after his first meeting with Mrs. Ryves, he found himself on his lovely davenport (well aware that he had more urgent matters to attend to), trying to come up with rhymes silly enough to make his neighbor rich. He was confident in the quality of her musical talent—it had that emotional touch. That emotional touch was present in her personality as well.
The davenport was delightful, after six months of its tottering predecessor, and such a re-enforcement to the young man’s style was not impaired by his sense of something lawless in the way it had been gained. He had made the purchase in anticipation of the money he expected from Mr. Locket, but Mr. Locket’s liberality was to depend on the ingenuity of his contributor, who now found himself confronted with the consequence of a frivolous optimism. The fruit of his labour presented, as he stared at it with his elbows on his desk, an aspect uncompromising and incorruptible. It seemed to look up at him reproachfully and to say, with its essential finish: “How could you promise anything so base; how could you pass your word to mutilate and dishonour me?” The alterations demanded by Mr. Locket were impossible; the concessions to the platitude of his conception of the public mind were degrading. The public mind!—as if the public had a mind, or any principle of perception more discoverable than the stare of huddled sheep! Peter Baron felt that it concerned him to determine if he were only not clever enough or if he were simply not abject enough to rewrite his story. He might in truth have had less pride if he had had more skill, and more discretion if he had had more practice. Humility, in the profession of letters, was half of practice, and resignation was half of success. Poor Peter actually flushed with pain as he recognised that this was not success, the production of gelid prose which his editor could do nothing with on the one side and he himself could do nothing with on the other. The truth about his luckless tale was now the more bitter from his having managed, for some days, to taste it as sweet.
The couch was a pleasure after six months with its shaky predecessor, and the boost it gave the young man’s style was tainted by the sense that it had been obtained unethically. He had bought it expecting money from Mr. Locket, but Mr. Locket's generosity depended on the skill of his contributor, who now faced the results of a naive optimism. The result of his work, as he stared at it with his elbows on his desk, looked unyielding and untouchable. It seemed to look back at him with a disapproving gaze, as if saying, with its flawless design: “How could you promise something so low; how could you agree to ruin and disgrace me?” The changes Mr. Locket wanted were impossible; the compromises to fit his dull understanding of public opinion were humiliating. The public opinion!—as if the public actually had a mind, or any way of understanding more distinct than the blank stare of a herd of sheep! Peter Baron felt it was important to figure out whether he was just not clever enough or simply not desperate enough to rewrite his story. He might indeed have had less pride if he had more skill, and more judgment if he had more experience. Humility in writing was half of the craft, and acceptance was half of success. Poor Peter actually blushed with pain as he realized that this was not success—the creation of cold, lifeless prose that neither his editor could work with nor he could improve. The truth about his unfortunate story was even more bitter because he had managed, for a few days, to see it as sweet.
As he sat there, baffled and sombre, biting his pen and wondering what was meant by the “rewards” of literature, he generally ended by tossing away the composition deflowered by Mr. Locket and trying his hand at the sort of twaddle that Mrs. Ryves might be able to set to music. Success in these experiments wouldn’t be a reward of literature, but it might very well become a labour of love. The experiments would be pleasant enough for him if they were pleasant for his inscrutable neighbour. That was the way he thought of her now, for he had learned enough about her, little by little, to guess how much there was still to learn. To spend his mornings over cheap rhymes for her was certainly to shirk the immediate question; but there were hours when he judged this question to be altogether too arduous, reflecting that he might quite as well perish by the sword as by famine. Besides, he did meet it obliquely when he considered that he shouldn’t be an utter failure if he were to produce some songs to which Mrs. Ryves’s accompaniments would give a circulation. He had not ventured to show her anything yet, but one morning, at a moment when her little boy was in his room, it seemed to him that, by an inspiration, he had arrived at the happy middle course (it was an art by itself), between sound and sense. If the sense was not confused it was because the sound was so familiar.
As he sat there, confused and downcast, biting his pen and wondering what the “rewards” of literature really meant, he usually ended up tossing aside the piece ruined by Mr. Locket and trying his hand at the kind of nonsense that Mrs. Ryves might be able to set to music. Success in these efforts wouldn’t be a reward of literature, but it could very well become a labor of love. The experiments would be enjoyable for him if they brought enjoyment to his mysterious neighbor. That’s how he thought of her now, since he had slowly learned enough about her to speculate on how much more there was left to uncover. Spending his mornings on cheap rhymes for her was definitely avoiding the immediate issue; however, there were times when he considered this issue to be far too challenging, reflecting that it might be just as easy to perish by the sword as by hunger. Plus, he did confront it indirectly when he thought that he wouldn’t be a total failure if he managed to create some songs that Mrs. Ryves’s accompaniments could make popular. He hadn’t dared to show her anything yet, but one morning, while her little boy was in his room, it struck him that he had finally found the perfect balance (which was an art in itself) between sound and sense. If the sense wasn’t muddled, it was because the sound felt so familiar.
He had said to the child, to whom he had sacrificed barley-sugar (it had no attraction for his own lips, yet in these days there was always some of it about), he had confided to the small Sidney that if he would wait a little he should be intrusted with something nice to take down to his parent. Sidney had absorbing occupation and, while Peter copied off the song in a pretty hand, roamed, gurgling and sticky, about the room. In this manner he lurched like a little toper into the rear of the davenport, which stood a few steps out from the recess of the window, and, as he was fond of beating time to his intensest joys, began to bang on the surface of it with a paper-knife which at that spot had chanced to fall upon the floor. At the moment Sidney committed this violence his kind friend had happened to raise the lid of the desk and, with his head beneath it, was rummaging among a mass of papers for a proper envelope. “I say, I say, my boy!” he exclaimed, solicitous for the ancient glaze of his most cherished possession. Sidney paused an instant; then, while Peter still hunted for the envelope, he administered another, and this time a distinctly disobedient, rap. Peter heard it from within and was struck with its oddity of sound—so much so that, leaving the child for a moment under a demoralising impression of impunity, he waited with quick curiosity for a repetition of the stroke. It came of course immediately, and then the young man, who had at the same instant found his envelope and ejaculated “Hallo, this thing has a false back!” jumped up and secured his visitor, whom with his left arm he held in durance on his knee while with his free hand he addressed the missive to Mrs. Ryves.
He had told the child, to whom he had given some barley-sugar (which he didn’t care for himself, but it was always around back then), that if he would just wait a little while, he would get to do something nice for his parent. Sidney was busy, and while Peter neatly copied the song, he wandered around the room, gurgling and sticky. He stumbled like a little drunk into the back of the couch, which was set a few steps away from the window, and, since he loved making noise when he was really happy, he started banging on it with a paper knife that had happened to fall to the floor. At that moment, when Sidney committed this act, his kind friend had just opened the desk lid and, with his head inside, was rummaging through a pile of papers for the right envelope. “Hey, hey, my boy!” he exclaimed, worried about the condition of his favorite possession. Sidney paused for a second, then, while Peter continued searching for the envelope, he gave it another, this time a clearly disobedient, hit. Peter heard the sound from inside and was so struck by its oddity that he left the child momentarily, under the impression that he could get away with it, and waited eagerly for another hit. It came immediately, and at that same moment, the young man found his envelope and exclaimed, “Wow, this thing has a false back!” He jumped up and caught Sidney, holding him on his knee with his left arm while using his free hand to address the note to Mrs. Ryves.
As Sidney was fond of errands he was easily got rid of, and after he had gone Baron stood a moment at the window chinking pennies and keys in pockets and wondering if the charming composer would think his song as good, or in other words as bad, as he thought it. His eyes as he turned away fell on the wooden back of the davenport, where, to his regret, the traces of Sidney’s assault were visible in three or four ugly scratches. “Confound the little brute!” he exclaimed, feeling as if an altar had been desecrated. He was reminded, however, of the observation this outrage had led him to make, and, for further assurance, he knocked on the wood with his knuckle. It sounded from that position commonplace enough, but his suspicion was strongly confirmed when, again standing beside the desk, he put his head beneath the lifted lid and gave ear while with an extended arm he tapped sharply in the same place. The back was distinctly hollow; there was a space between the inner and the outer pieces (he could measure it), so wide that he was a fool not to have noticed it before. The depth of the receptacle from front to rear was so great that it could sacrifice a certain quantity of room without detection. The sacrifice could of course only be for a purpose, and the purpose could only be the creation of a secret compartment. Peter Baron was still boy enough to be thrilled by the idea of such a feature, the more so as every indication of it had been cleverly concealed. The people at the shop had never noticed it, else they would have called his attention to it as an enhancement of value. His legendary lore instructed him that where there was a hiding-place there was always a hidden spring, and he pried and pressed and fumbled in an eager search for the sensitive spot. The article was really a wonder of neat construction; everything fitted with a closeness that completely saved appearances.
As Sidney loved running errands, he was easily sent off, and after he left, Baron stood for a moment by the window, jingling pennies and keys in his pockets, wondering if the charming composer would think his song was as good—or, in other words, as bad—as he did. As he turned away, his eyes landed on the wooden back of the davenport, where, to his dismay, he saw the marks of Sidney’s attack in three or four ugly scratches. “Darn that little brat!” he exclaimed, feeling as if an altar had been violated. However, this outrage reminded him of an observation he had made, and for further reassurance, he knocked on the wood with his knuckles. It sounded pretty ordinary from that position, but his suspicion was strongly confirmed when, standing by the desk again, he leaned under the lifted lid and listened while tapping sharply in the same spot with an outstretched arm. The back was definitely hollow; there was a gap between the inner and outer pieces (he could measure it), so wide that he couldn't believe he hadn't noticed it before. The depth of the space from front to back was significant enough to hide a certain amount without being detected. The hidden area, of course, had to serve a purpose, and that purpose could only be to create a secret compartment. Peter Baron was still young enough at heart to be excited by the idea of such a feature, especially since every sign of it had been cleverly concealed. The people at the shop had never noticed it; if they had, they would have highlighted it as a value enhancement. His legendary knowledge told him that where there was a hiding place, there was always a hidden spring, and he pried, pressed, and fumbled in an eager search for the sensitive spot. The article was truly a marvel of neat construction; everything fit together so perfectly that it cleverly maintained appearances.
It took Baron some minutes to pursue his inquiry, during which he reflected that the people of the shop were not such fools after all. They had admitted moreover that they had accidentally neglected this relic of gentility—it had been overlooked in the multiplicity of their treasures. He now recalled that the man had wanted to polish it up before sending it home, and that, satisfied for his own part with its honourable appearance and averse in general to shiny furniture, he had in his impatience declined to wait for such an operation, so that the object had left the place for Jersey Villas, carrying presumably its secret with it, two or three hours after his visit. This secret it seemed indeed capable of keeping; there was an absurdity in being baffled, but Peter couldn’t find the spring. He thumped and sounded, he listened and measured again; he inspected every joint and crevice, with the effect of becoming surer still of the existence of a chamber and of making up his mind that his davenport was a rarity. Not only was there a compartment between the two backs, but there was distinctly something in the compartment! Perhaps it was a lost manuscript—a nice, safe, old-fashioned story that Mr. Locket wouldn’t object to. Peter returned to the charge, for it had occurred to him that he had perhaps not sufficiently visited the small drawers, of which, in two vertical rows, there were six in number, of different sizes, inserted sideways into that portion of the structure which formed part of the support of the desk. He took them out again and examined more minutely the condition of their sockets, with the happy result of discovering at last, in the place into which the third on the left-hand row was fitted, a small sliding panel. Behind the panel was a spring, like a flat button, which yielded with a click when he pressed it and which instantly produced a loosening of one of the pieces of the shelf forming the highest part of the davenport—pieces adjusted to each other with the most deceptive closeness.
It took Baron a few minutes to continue his investigation, during which he thought that the people in the shop weren’t as clueless as he had initially believed. They had also admitted that they had accidentally overlooked this relic of refinement—it had been forgotten among their many treasures. He now remembered that the man had wanted to polish it before sending it home, and that, satisfied with its respectable look and generally averse to shiny furniture, he had impatiently decided not to wait for that, so the piece had left for Jersey Villas, presumably taking its secret with it, a couple of hours after his visit. It seemed quite capable of keeping that secret; it was absurd to feel stumped, but Peter couldn't figure it out. He knocked and tapped, listened and measured again; he examined every joint and crevice, becoming even more convinced that a hidden compartment existed and deciding that his davenport was a real find. Not only was there a space between the two backs, but there was definitely something in that space! Maybe it was a lost manuscript—a nice, safe, old-fashioned story that Mr. Locket wouldn’t mind. Peter pressed on, realizing he might not have looked closely enough at the small drawers, of which there were six, arranged in two vertical rows of different sizes, set sideways into the part of the structure that supported the desk. He took them out again and inspected the condition of their sockets more closely, happily discovering at last, in the spot where the third drawer on the left was fitted, a small sliding panel. Behind the panel was a spring, like a flat button, which clicked when he pressed it and instantly caused one of the pieces of the shelf at the top of the davenport to loosen—pieces that fit together with an incredibly deceptive precision.
This particular piece proved to be, in its turn, a sliding panel, which, when pushed, revealed the existence of a smaller receptacle, a narrow, oblong box, in the false back. Its capacity was limited, but if it couldn’t hold many things it might hold precious ones. Baron, in presence of the ingenuity with which it had been dissimulated, immediately felt that, but for the odd chance of little Sidney Ryves’s having hammered on the outside at the moment he himself happened to have his head in the desk, he might have remained for years without suspicion of it. This apparently would have been a loss, for he had been right in guessing that the chamber was not empty. It contained objects which, whether precious or not, had at any rate been worth somebody’s hiding. These objects were a collection of small flat parcels, of the shape of packets of letters, wrapped in white paper and neatly sealed. The seals, mechanically figured, bore the impress neither of arms nor of initials; the paper looked old—it had turned faintly sallow; the packets might have been there for ages. Baron counted them—there were nine in all, of different sizes; he turned them over and over, felt them curiously and snuffed in their vague, musty smell, which affected him with the melancholy of some smothered human accent. The little bundles were neither named nor numbered—there was not a word of writing on any of the covers; but they plainly contained old letters, sorted and matched according to dates or to authorship. They told some old, dead story—they were the ashes of fires burned out.
This piece turned out to be a sliding panel that, when pushed, revealed a smaller compartment—a narrow, rectangular box hidden in the false back. Its capacity was limited, but even if it couldn’t hold much, it might hold something valuable. Baron realized that if it weren’t for the strange coincidence of little Sidney Ryves banging on the outside just as he had his head in the desk, he could have gone years without suspecting it was there. This would have been a shame because he was right to guess that the chamber wasn’t empty. It held items that, whether valuable or not, had definitely been worth someone’s effort to hide. Inside were several small, flat packages shaped like bundles of letters, wrapped in white paper and neatly sealed. The seals had a mechanical design, lacking any coats of arms or initials; the paper looked old—it had turned slightly yellow. The packets could have been there for ages. Baron counted them—there were nine in total, of various sizes. He turned them over repeatedly, examined them with curiosity, and took in their faint, musty smell, which left him feeling melancholic, like a muffled human tone. The little bundles were neither named nor numbered—there wasn’t a single word written on any of the covers—but they obviously contained old letters, sorted by date or authorship. They told some ancient, forgotten story—they were the remnants of fires that had gone out long ago.
As Peter Baron held his discoveries successively in his hands he became conscious of a queer emotion which was not altogether elation and yet was still less pure pain. He had made a find, but it somehow added to his responsibility; he was in the presence of something interesting, but (in a manner he couldn’t have defined) this circumstance suddenly constituted a danger. It was the perception of the danger, for instance, which caused to remain in abeyance any impulse he might have felt to break one of the seals. He looked at them all narrowly, but he was careful not to loosen them, and he wondered uncomfortably whether the contents of the secret compartment would be held in equity to be the property of the people in the King’s Road. He had given money for the davenport, but had he given money for these buried papers? He paid by a growing consciousness that a nameless chill had stolen into the air the penalty, which he had many a time paid before, of being made of sensitive stuff. It was as if an occasion had insidiously arisen for a sacrifice—a sacrifice for the sake of a fine superstition, something like honour or kindness or justice, something indeed perhaps even finer still—a difficult deciphering of duty, an impossible tantalising wisdom. Standing there before his ambiguous treasure and losing himself for the moment in the sense of a dawning complication, he was startled by a light, quick tap at the door of his sitting-room. Instinctively, before answering, he listened an instant—he was in the attitude of a miser surprised while counting his hoard. Then he answered “One moment, please!” and slipped the little heap of packets into the biggest of the drawers of the davenport, which happened to be open. The aperture of the false back was still gaping, and he had not time to work back the spring. He hastily laid a big book over the place and then went and opened his door.
As Peter Baron held his discoveries one after another in his hands, he felt a strange emotion that was neither pure joy nor complete pain. He had made a discovery, but it somehow increased his sense of responsibility; he was faced with something intriguing, yet this situation unexpectedly felt risky in a way he couldn’t quite articulate. It was the awareness of that risk that made him hesitate to break any of the seals. He examined them closely, careful not to loosen them, and he felt uneasy wondering if the contents of the hidden compartment would be considered property of the people on King’s Road. He had paid for the davenport, but had he paid for these buried papers? He became more aware that a nameless chill had crept into the air, the price he had paid many times before for being sensitive. It was as if an opportunity had unexpectedly arisen for a sacrifice—a sacrifice for the sake of an important belief, something like honor or kindness or justice, perhaps even something more profound—a complex interpretation of duty, an elusive, frustrating wisdom. Standing there in front of his ambiguous treasure, momentarily lost in the idea of a growing complexity, he was startled by a light, quick knock at his sitting-room door. Instinctively, before responding, he paused—like a miser caught counting his valuables. Then he said, “One moment, please!” and hurriedly slipped the small stack of packets into the largest drawer of the davenport, which was conveniently open. The opening of the false back was still wide, and he didn’t have time to reset the spring. He quickly laid a large book over the spot and then went to open the door.
It offered him a sight none the less agreeable for being unexpected—the graceful and agitated figure of Mrs. Ryves. Her agitation was so visible that he thought at first that something dreadful had happened to her child—that she had rushed up to ask for help, to beg him to go for the doctor. Then he perceived that it was probably connected with the desperate verses he had transmitted to her a quarter of an hour before; for she had his open manuscript in one hand and was nervously pulling it about with the other. She looked frightened and pretty, and if, in invading the privacy of a fellow-lodger, she had been guilty of a departure from rigid custom, she was at least conscious of the enormity of the step and incapable of treating it with levity. The levity was for Peter Baron, who endeavoured, however, to clothe his familiarity with respect, pushing forward the seat of honour and repeating that he rejoiced in such a visit. The visitor came in, leaving the door ajar, and after a minute during which, to help her, he charged her with the purpose of telling him that he ought to be ashamed to send her down such rubbish, she recovered herself sufficiently to stammer out that his song was exactly what she had been looking for and that after reading it she had been seized with an extraordinary, irresistible impulse—that of thanking him for it in person and without delay.
It gave him a sight that was just as pleasant for being unexpected—the graceful and agitated figure of Mrs. Ryves. Her distress was so obvious that he initially thought something terrible had happened to her child—that she had rushed over to ask for help, to plead with him to get the doctor. Then he realized it was probably related to the desperate verses he had sent her just fifteen minutes ago; she was holding his open manuscript in one hand and nervously fiddling with it with the other. She looked both scared and beautiful, and even though she was intruding on the privacy of a fellow lodger, she was clearly aware of how unusual this was and couldn’t treat it casually. The casualness was meant for Peter Baron, who tried to disguise his familiarity with a tone of respect, offering her the seat of honor and saying he was glad she dropped by. The visitor entered, leaving the door slightly open, and after a moment where he encouraged her by telling her she should be embarrassed to send him such nonsense, she managed to collect herself enough to stammer out that his song was exactly what she had been searching for and that after reading it, she had been hit with an overwhelming, unstoppable urge—to thank him in person and without delay.
“It was the impulse of a kind nature,” he said, “and I can’t tell you what pleasure you give me.”
“It was the instinct of a kind heart,” he said, “and I can’t express how much joy you bring me.”
She declined to sit down, and evidently wished to appear to have come but for a few seconds. She looked confusedly at the place in which she found herself, and when her eyes met his own they struck him as anxious and appealing. She was evidently not thinking of his song, though she said three or four times over that it was beautiful. “Well, I only wanted you to know, and now I must go,” she added; but on his hearthrug she lingered with such an odd helplessness that he felt almost sorry for her.
She refused to sit down and clearly wanted to seem like she had only come for a minute. She looked around the room, and when her gaze met his, he noticed it was filled with anxiety and a sense of longing. She clearly wasn’t focused on his song, even though she repeated that it was beautiful three or four times. “Well, I just wanted you to know, and now I have to go,” she said; but on his rug, she lingered with such a strange helplessness that he felt a bit sorry for her.
“Perhaps I can improve it if you find it doesn’t go,” said Baron. “I’m so delighted to do anything for you I can.”
“Maybe I can make it better if you think it’s not working,” said Baron. “I’m really happy to help in any way I can.”
“There may be a word or two that might be changed,” she answered, rather absently. “I shall have to think it over, to live with it a little. But I like it, and that’s all I wanted to say.”
“Maybe there are a word or two that could be changed,” she replied, somewhat distracted. “I’ll need to think it over and sit with it for a bit. But I really like it, and that’s all I wanted to express.”
“Charming of you. I’m not a bit busy,” said Baron.
“That's charming of you. I’m not busy at all,” said the Baron.
Again she looked at him with a troubled intensity, then suddenly she demanded: “Is there anything the matter with you?”
Again she looked at him with a troubled intensity, then suddenly she asked, “Is something wrong with you?”
“The matter with me?”
"What's wrong with me?"
“I mean like being ill or worried. I wondered if there might be; I had a sudden fancy; and that, I think, is really why I came up.”
“I mean like being sick or anxious. I thought maybe there could be; I had a sudden idea; and that, I think, is really why I came up.”
“There isn’t, indeed; I’m all right. But your sudden fancies are inspirations.”
“There isn’t, really; I’m fine. But your sudden whims are quite inspiring.”
“It’s absurd. You must excuse me. Good-by!” said Mrs. Ryves.
“It’s ridiculous. You’ll have to forgive me. Bye!” said Mrs. Ryves.
“What are the words you want changed?” Baron asked.
“What words do you want to change?” Baron asked.
“I don’t want any—if you’re all right. Good-by,” his visitor repeated, fixing her eyes an instant on an object on his desk that had caught them. His own glanced in the same direction and he saw that in his hurry to shuffle away the packets found in the davenport he had overlooked one of them, which lay with its seals exposed. For an instant he felt found out, as if he had been concerned in something to be ashamed of, and it was only his quick second thought that told him how little the incident of which the packet was a sequel was an affair of Mrs. Ryves’s. Her conscious eyes came back to his as if they were sounding them, and suddenly this instinct of keeping his discovery to himself was succeeded by a really startled inference that, with the rarest alertness, she had guessed something and that her guess (it seemed almost supernatural), had been her real motive. Some secret sympathy had made her vibrate—had touched her with the knowledge that he had brought something to light. After an instant he saw that she also divined the very reflection he was then making, and this gave him a lively desire, a grateful, happy desire, to appear to have nothing to conceal. For herself, it determined her still more to put an end to her momentary visit. But before she had passed to the door he exclaimed: “All right? How can a fellow be anything else who has just had such a find?”
“I don’t want anything—if you’re okay. Goodbye,” her visitor repeated, briefly fixing her eyes on something on his desk that had caught her attention. His gaze followed hers, and he noticed that in his rush to clear away the packets from the couch, he had missed one, which lay there with its seals exposed. For a moment, he felt exposed, as if he had been involved in something shameful. It was only his quick second thought that reminded him how little the situation related to Mrs. Ryves. Her focused gaze returned to him, as if she was probing him, and suddenly this instinct to keep his discovery to himself was replaced by a startling realization that, with surprising sharpness, she had guessed something, and that her intuition (it felt almost otherworldly) was her true motive. Some hidden connection had made her resonate—had given her insight that he had uncovered something. After a moment, he realized she also sensed the very thought he was having, and this sparked a strong desire in him, a thankful, happy desire, to appear as if he had nothing to hide. For her, this made her even more determined to wrap up her brief visit. But before she reached the door, he exclaimed, “All good? How can anyone be anything else after such a discovery?”
She paused at this, still looking earnest and asking: “What have you found?”
She paused at this, still looking serious and asking: “What did you find?”
“Some ancient family papers, in a secret compartment of my writing-table.” And he took up the packet he had left out, holding it before her eyes. “A lot of other things like that.”
“Some old family papers, in a hidden drawer of my desk.” He picked up the packet he had left out and held it up for her to see. “A bunch of other stuff like that.”
“What are they?” murmured Mrs. Ryves.
“What are they?” Mrs. Ryves whispered.
“I haven’t the least idea. They’re sealed.”
“I have no idea. They’re sealed.”
“You haven’t broken the seals?” She had come further back.
“You haven't broken the seals?” She had moved further back.
“I haven’t had time; it only happened ten minutes ago.”
“I haven’t had time; it just happened ten minutes ago.”
“I knew it,” said Mrs. Ryves, more gaily now.
“I knew it,” Mrs. Ryves said, sounding more cheerful now.
“What did you know?”
“What did you know?”
“That you were in some predicament.”
“That you were in some trouble.”
“You’re extraordinary. I never heard of anything so miraculous; down two flights of stairs.”
“You're amazing. I've never heard of anything so miraculous; going down two flights of stairs.”
“Are you in a quandary?” the visitor asked.
Are you in a tough spot?” the visitor asked.
“Yes, about giving them back.” Peter Baron stood smiling at her and rapping his packet on the palm of his hand. “What do you advise?”
“Yes, about giving them back.” Peter Baron stood smiling at her and tapping his packet on the palm of his hand. “What do you think we should do?”
She herself smiled now, with her eyes on the sealed parcel. “Back to whom?”
She smiled now, her eyes on the sealed package. “Back to whom?”
“The man of whom I bought the table.”
“The guy I bought the table from.”
“Ah then, they’re not from your family?”
"Ah, so they're not from your family?"
“No indeed, the piece of furniture in which they were hidden is not an ancestral possession. I bought it at second hand—you see it’s old—the other day in the King’s Road. Obviously the man who sold it to me sold me more than he meant; he had no idea (from his own point of view it was stupid of him), that there was a hidden chamber or that mysterious documents were buried there. Ought I to go and tell him? It’s rather a nice question.”
“No way, the piece of furniture they were hidden in isn't a family heirloom. I got it secondhand—you can tell it’s old—just the other day on King’s Road. Clearly, the guy who sold it to me gave me more than he intended; he had no clue (from his perspective, that was pretty silly) that there was a hidden compartment or that important documents were buried inside. Should I go and tell him? It’s an interesting question.”
“Are the papers of value?” Mrs. Ryves inquired.
“Are the papers valuable?” Mrs. Ryves asked.
“I haven’t the least idea. But I can ascertain by breaking a seal.”
“I have no idea at all. But I can find out by breaking a seal.”
“Don’t!” said Mrs. Ryves, with much expression. She looked grave again.
“Don’t!” said Mrs. Ryves, with a lot of emphasis. She looked serious again.
“It’s rather tantalising—it’s a bit of a problem,” Baron went on, turning his packet over.
“It’s pretty intriguing—it’s kind of a problem,” Baron continued, flipping his packet over.
Mrs. Ryves hesitated. “Will you show me what you have in your hand?”
Mrs. Ryves hesitated. “Can you show me what you have in your hand?”
He gave her the packet, and she looked at it and held it for an instant to her nose. “It has a queer, charming old fragrance,” he said.
He handed her the packet, and she glanced at it and held it briefly to her nose. “It has a strange, delightful old scent,” he said.
“Charming? It’s horrid.” She handed him back the packet, saying again more emphatically “Don’t!”
“Charming? It’s awful.” She handed him back the packet, saying again more forcefully, “Don’t!”
“Don’t break a seal?”
“Don't break the seal?”
“Don’t give back the papers.”
“Don’t return the papers.”
“Is it honest to keep them?”
“Is it right to keep them?”
“Certainly. They’re yours as much as the people’s of the shop. They were in the hidden chamber when the table came to the shop, and the people had every opportunity to find them out. They didn’t—therefore let them take the consequences.”
“Of course. They belong to you just as much as they belong to the people in the shop. They were in the secret room when the table arrived at the shop, and the people had plenty of chances to discover them. They didn’t—so let them deal with the consequences.”
Peter Baron reflected, diverted by her intensity. She was pale, with eyes almost ardent. “The table had been in the place for years.”
Peter Baron thought, distracted by her intensity. She was pale, with eyes that were almost passionate. “The table has been here for years.”
“That proves the things haven’t been missed.”
“That shows that things haven't been overlooked.”
“Let me show you how they were concealed,” he rejoined; and he exhibited the ingenious recess and the working of the curious spring. She was greatly interested, she grew excited and became familiar; she appealed to him again not to do anything so foolish as to give up the papers, the rest of which, in their little blank, impenetrable covers, he placed in a row before her. “They might be traced—their history, their ownership,” he argued; to which she replied that this was exactly why he ought to be quiet. He declared that women had not the smallest sense of honour, and she retorted that at any rate they have other perceptions more delicate than those of men. He admitted that the papers might be rubbish, and she conceded that nothing was more probable; yet when he offered to settle the point off-hand she caught him by the wrist, acknowledging that, absurd as it was, she was nervous. Finally she put the whole thing on the ground of his just doing her a favour. She asked him to retain the papers, to be silent about them, simply because it would please her. That would be reason enough. Baron’s acquaintance, his agreeable relations with her, advanced many steps in the treatment of this question; an element of friendly candour made its way into their discussion of it.
“Let me show you how they were hidden,” he said, and he demonstrated the clever recess and the mechanism of the unusual spring. She was really interested, growing more excited and relaxed; she urged him again not to do something as foolish as giving up the papers, the rest of which, in their small blank, impenetrable covers, he arranged in a row in front of her. “They could be traced—their history, their ownership,” he insisted; to which she responded that this was exactly why he should keep quiet. He claimed that women had no sense of honor, and she countered that they definitely had other, more delicate perceptions than men. He acknowledged that the papers might be worthless, and she agreed that it was quite likely; yet when he offered to settle the matter right there, she grabbed him by the wrist, admitting that, ridiculous as it was, she felt nervous. In the end, she framed the whole issue as him just doing her a favor. She asked him to keep the papers and to stay silent about them, simply because it would make her happy. That would be reason enough. The baron's acquaintance, his friendly relationship with her, helped move their discussion forward; an element of friendly honesty eased its progress.
“I can’t make out why it matters to you, one way or the other, nor why you should think it worth talking about,” the young man reasoned.
“I can’t figure out why it matters to you, either way, or why you think it’s worth discussing,” the young man reasoned.
“Neither can I. It’s just a whim.”
“Neither can I. It’s just a passing thought.”
“Certainly, if it will give you any pleasure, I’ll say nothing at the shop.”
“Sure, if it will make you happy, I won’t say anything at the shop.”
“That’s charming of you, and I’m very grateful. I see now that this was why the spirit moved me to come up—to save them,” Mrs. Ryves went on. She added, moving away, that now she had saved them she must really go.
"That's really sweet of you, and I'm truly thankful. I understand now that this is why I felt compelled to come here—to help them," Mrs. Ryves continued. She added, as she started to leave, that now that she had helped them, she really needed to go.
“To save them for what, if I mayn’t break the seals?” Baron asked.
"To save them for what, if I can't break the seals?" Baron asked.
“I don’t know—for a generous sacrifice.”
“I don’t know—for a generous sacrifice.”
“Why should it be generous? What’s at stake?” Peter demanded, leaning against the doorpost as she stood on the landing.
“Why should it be generous? What's the big deal?” Peter asked, leaning against the doorframe as she stood on the landing.
“I don’t know what, but I feel as if something or other were in peril. Burn them up!” she exclaimed with shining eyes.
“I don’t know what it is, but I feel like something is in danger. Burn them up!” she exclaimed with sparkling eyes.
“Ah, you ask too much—I’m so curious about them!”
“Ah, you’re asking for too much—I’m really curious about them!”
“Well, I won’t ask more than I ought, and I’m much obliged to you for your promise to be quiet. I trust to your discretion. Good-by.”
“Well, I won’t ask for more than I should, and I really appreciate your promise to keep quiet. I trust your judgment. Goodbye.”
“You ought to reward my discretion,” said Baron, coming out to the landing.
“You should reward my discretion,” said Baron, stepping out onto the landing.
She had partly descended the staircase and she stopped, leaning against the baluster and smiling up at him. “Surely you’ve had your reward in the honour of my visit.”
She had partly come down the staircase and stopped, leaning against the railing and smiling up at him. “You’ve surely been rewarded enough by my visit.”
“That’s delightful as far as it goes. But what will you do for me if I burn the papers?”
“That’s great as far as it goes. But what will you do for me if I burn the papers?”
Mrs. Ryves considered a moment. “Burn them first and you’ll see!”
Mrs. Ryves thought for a moment. "Burn them first, and you'll see!"
On this she went rapidly downstairs, and Baron, to whom the answer appeared inadequate and the proposition indeed in that form grossly unfair, returned to his room. The vivacity of her interest in a question in which she had discoverably nothing at stake mystified, amused and, in addition, irresistibly charmed him. She was delicate, imaginative, inflammable, quick to feel, quick to act. He didn’t complain of it, it was the way he liked women to be; but he was not impelled for the hour to commit the sealed packets to the flames. He dropped them again into their secret well, and after that he went out. He felt restless and excited; another day was lost for work—the dreadful job to be performed for Mr. Locket was still further off.
On this, she quickly went downstairs, and the Baron, feeling that her response was insufficient and the offer clearly unfair, returned to his room. He was mystified, amused, and irresistibly charmed by the enthusiasm she showed for a question where she had nothing to lose. She was delicate, imaginative, easily influenced, quick to feel, and quick to act. He didn’t mind it; it was just how he preferred women to be. However, he wasn’t driven at that moment to burn the sealed packets. Instead, he put them back into their hidden spot, and then he left. He felt restless and excited; another day of work was lost—the daunting task for Mr. Locket was still looming ahead.
III.
Ten days after Mrs. Ryves’s visit he paid by appointment another call on the editor of the Promiscuous. He found him in the little wainscoted Chelsea house, which had to Peter’s sense the smoky brownness of an old pipebowl, surrounded with all the emblems of his office—a litter of papers, a hedge of encyclopædias, a photographic gallery of popular contributors—and he promised at first to consume very few of the moments for which so many claims competed. It was Mr. Locket himself however who presently made the interview spacious, gave it air after discovering that poor Baron had come to tell him something more interesting than that he couldn’t after all patch up his tale. Peter had begun with this, had intimated respectfully that it was a case in which both practice and principle rebelled, and then, perceiving how little Mr. Locket was affected by his audacity, had felt weak and slightly silly, left with his heroism on his hands. He had armed himself for a struggle, but the Promiscuous didn’t even protest, and there would have been nothing for him but to go away with the prospect of never coming again had he not chanced to say abruptly, irrelevantly, as he got up from his chair:
Ten days after Mrs. Ryves’s visit, he made another scheduled visit to the editor of the Promiscuous. He found him in the small wainscoted house in Chelsea, which Peter thought had the smoky brown feel of an old pipe bowl, surrounded by all the symbols of his work—an untidy stack of papers, a barrier of encyclopedias, and a photo wall featuring popular contributors. At first, he promised to take up only a little of the time that so many others were vying for. However, it was Mr. Locket himself who soon made the meeting more relaxed and gave it some breathing room after realizing that poor Baron had something more interesting to share than just the fact that he couldn’t fix his story after all. Peter had started with this, hinting politely that it was a situation where both experience and principles were at odds, and then, noticing how little Mr. Locket seemed to care about his boldness, he felt weak and a bit foolish, left with his own bravado. He had prepared for a fight, but the Promiscuous didn’t even object, and he would have had no choice but to leave with the likelihood of never returning if he hadn't happened to say abruptly, and somewhat off-topic, as he stood up from his chair:
“Do you happen to be at all interested in Sir Dominick Ferrand?”
“Are you at all interested in Sir Dominick Ferrand?”
Mr. Locket, who had also got up, looked over his glasses. “The late Sir Dominick?”
Mr. Locket, who had also gotten up, looked over his glasses. “The late Sir Dominick?”
“The only one; you know the family’s extinct.”
“The only one; you know the family’s gone.”
Mr. Locket shot his young friend another sharp glance, a silent retort to the glibness of this information. “Very extinct indeed. I’m afraid the subject today would scarcely be regarded as attractive.”
Mr. Locket shot his young friend another sharp look, a silent response to the smoothness of this information. “Definitely extinct. I'm afraid the topic today wouldn't really be seen as appealing.”
“Are you very sure?” Baron asked.
“Are you absolutely sure?” the Baron asked.
Mr. Locket leaned forward a little, with his fingertips on his table, in the attitude of giving permission to retire. “I might consider the question in a special connection.” He was silent a minute, in a way that relegated poor Peter to the general; but meeting the young man’s eyes again he asked: “Are you—a—thinking of proposing an article upon him?”
Mr. Locket leaned forward slightly, resting his fingertips on the table, suggesting that it was okay to leave. “I might think about the question in a specific context.” He paused for a moment, which pushed poor Peter into the background, but as he locked eyes with the young man again, he asked: “Are you—um—considering suggesting an article about him?”
“Not exactly proposing it—because I don’t yet quite see my way; but the idea rather appeals to me.”
“I'm not really proposing it—because I still don't fully understand it; but the idea does appeal to me.”
Mr. Locket emitted the safe assertion that this eminent statesman had been a striking figure in his day; then he added: “Have you been studying him?”
Mr. Locket confidently stated that this notable politician had been a prominent figure in his time; then he added: “Have you been looking into him?”
“I’ve been dipping into him.”
“I’ve been checking him out.”
“I’m afraid he’s scarcely a question of the hour,” said Mr. Locket, shuffling papers together.
“I’m afraid he’s hardly a topic of conversation right now,” said Mr. Locket, shuffling papers together.
“I think I could make him one,” Peter Baron declared.
“I think I could make him one,” Peter Baron said.
Mr. Locket stared again; he was unable to repress an unattenuated “You?”
Mr. Locket stared again; he couldn't hold back an unfiltered “You?”
“I have some new material,” said the young man, colouring a little. “That often freshens up an old story.”
“I have some new material,” said the young man, blushing a bit. “That often brings new life to an old story.”
“It buries it sometimes. It’s often only another tombstone.”
“It sometimes buries it. It’s often just another tombstone.”
“That depends upon what it is. However,” Peter added, “the documents I speak of would be a crushing monument.”
"That depends on what it is. However," Peter added, "the documents I'm talking about would be a heavy burden."
Mr. Locket, hesitating, shot another glance under his glasses. “Do you allude to—a—revelations?”
Mr. Locket, hesitating, shot another glance over his glasses. “Are you referring to—uh—revelations?”
“Very curious ones.”
"Very curious people."
Mr. Locket, still on his feet, had kept his body at the bowing angle; it was therefore easy for him after an instant to bend a little further and to sink into his chair with a movement of his hand toward the seat Baron had occupied. Baron resumed possession of this convenience, and the conversation took a fresh start on a basis which such an extension of privilege could render but little less humiliating to our young man. He had matured no plan of confiding his secret to Mr. Locket, and he had really come out to make him conscientiously that other announcement as to which it appeared that so much artistic agitation had been wasted. He had indeed during the past days—days of painful indecision—appealed in imagination to the editor of the Promiscuous, as he had appealed to other sources of comfort; but his scruples turned their face upon him from quarters high as well as low, and if on the one hand he had by no means made up his mind not to mention his strange knowledge, he had still more left to the determination of the moment the question of how he should introduce the subject. He was in fact too nervous to decide; he only felt that he needed for his peace of mind to communicate his discovery. He wanted an opinion, the impression of somebody else, and even in this intensely professional presence, five minutes after he had begun to tell his queer story, he felt relieved of half his burden. His story was very queer; he could take the measure of that himself as he spoke; but wouldn’t this very circumstance qualify it for the Promiscuous?
Mr. Locket, still standing, had kept his body at a slight bow, so it was easy for him to bend a little further and sink into his chair, gesturing toward the seat Baron had just occupied. Baron reclaimed that spot, and the conversation began anew on a basis that still felt somewhat humiliating for our young man. He hadn't worked out a plan to share his secret with Mr. Locket; in fact, he had come out to give him the other announcement that seemed to have prompted so much artistic turmoil. Over the past days—days filled with painful indecision—he had imagined appealing to the editor of the Promiscuous, just as he had sought comfort from other sources; however, his scruples confronted him from both high and low places. While he hadn't completely ruled out mentioning his unusual knowledge, he was still uncertain about how to broach the topic. He was simply too nervous to decide; all he knew was that he needed to share his discovery for his own peace of mind. He wanted someone else's opinion, a different perspective, and even in this highly professional atmosphere, just five minutes into telling his strange story, he felt half of his burden lift. His story was definitely odd; he realized that as he spoke, but didn’t this very aspect make it suitable for the Promiscuous?
“Of course the letters may be forgeries,” said Mr. Locket at last.
“Of course the letters could be fake,” Mr. Locket said finally.
“I’ve no doubt that’s what many people will say.”
“I’m sure that’s what a lot of people will say.”
“Have they been seen by any expert?”
“Have any experts found them?”
“No indeed; they’ve been seen by nobody.”
“No, for sure; no one has seen them.”
“Have you got any of them with you?”
“Do you have any of them with you?”
“No; I felt nervous about bringing them out.”
“No, I felt anxious about taking them out.”
“That’s a pity. I should have liked the testimony of my eyes.”
"That's a shame. I would have liked to see it for myself."
“You may have it if you’ll come to my rooms. If you don’t care to do that without a further guarantee I’ll copy you out some passages.”
“You can have it if you come to my place. If you’d rather not do that without an extra guarantee, I’ll write out some passages for you.”
“Select a few of the worst!” Mr. Locket laughed. Over Baron’s distressing information he had become quite human and genial. But he added in a moment more dryly: “You know they ought to be seen by an expert.”
“Pick a few of the worst!” Mr. Locket laughed. With Baron’s troubling news, he had become quite friendly and approachable. But he quickly added, more seriously: “You know they really should be checked by an expert.”
“That’s exactly what I dread,” said Peter.
"That's exactly what I fear," said Peter.
“They’ll be worth nothing to me if they’re not.”
“They won't mean anything to me if they aren't.”
Peter communed with his innermost spirit. “How much will they be worth to me if they are?”
Peter connected with his deepest self. “How much will they mean to me if they are?”
Mr. Locket turned in his study-chair. “I should require to look at them before answering that question.”
Mr. Locket turned in his study chair. “I would need to see them before I can answer that question.”
“I’ve been to the British museum—there are many of his letters there. I’ve obtained permission to see them, and I’ve compared everything carefully. I repudiate the possibility of forgery. No sign of genuineness is wanting; there are details, down to the very postmarks, that no forger could have invented. Besides, whose interest could it conceivably have been? A labor of unspeakable difficulty, and all for what advantage? There are so many letters, too—twenty-seven in all.”
“I’ve been to the British Museum—there are a lot of his letters there. I’ve gotten permission to see them, and I’ve compared everything carefully. I reject the idea of forgery. There’s no lack of signs of authenticity; there are details, right down to the postmarks, that no forger could have made up. Plus, whose interest would it even have been? It’s an incredibly difficult task, all for what gain? There are so many letters, too—twenty-seven in total.”
“Lord, what an ass!” Mr. Locket exclaimed.
“Lord, what a fool!” Mr. Locket exclaimed.
“It will be one of the strangest post-mortem revelations of which history preserves the record.”
“It will be one of the weirdest discoveries made after death that history has kept a record of.”
Mr. Locket, grave now, worried with a paper-knife the crevice of a drawer. “It’s very odd. But to be worth anything such documents should be subjected to a searching criticism—I mean of the historical kind.”
Mr. Locket, now serious, worried at the crack of a drawer with a paper knife. “It’s really strange. But for these documents to have any value, they need to undergo thorough scrutiny—I mean historically.”
“Certainly; that would be the task of the writer introducing them to the public.”
“Of course; that will be the writer's job to introduce them to the audience.”
Again Mr. Locket considered; then with a smile he looked up. “You had better give up original composition and take to buying old furniture.”
Again Mr. Locket thought for a moment; then with a smile he looked up. “You might want to give up creating original pieces and start buying vintage furniture instead.”
“Do you mean because it will pay better?”
“Are you saying it pays better?”
“For you, I should think, original composition couldn’t pay worse. The creative faculty’s so rare.”
"For you, I would guess that creating original content wouldn't pay off at all. The ability to be creative is so uncommon."
“I do feel tempted to turn my attention to real heroes,” Peter replied.
“I am tempted to focus on real heroes,” Peter replied.
“I’m bound to declare that Sir Dominick Ferrand was never one of mine. Flashy, crafty, second-rate—that’s how I’ve always read him. It was never a secret, moreover, that his private life had its weak spots. He was a mere flash in the pan.”
“I have to say that Sir Dominick Ferrand was never one of my favorites. Showy, sneaky, second-rate—that’s how I've always seen him. Plus, it was never a secret that his personal life had its flaws. He was just a momentary sensation.”
“He speaks to the people of this country,” said Baron.
“He talks to the people of this country,” said Baron.
“He did; but his voice—the voice, I mean, of his prestige—is scarcely audible now.”
“He did; but his voice—the voice, I mean, of his status—is barely audible now.”
“They’re still proud of some of the things he did at the Foreign Office—the famous ‘exchange’ with Spain, in the Mediterranean, which took Europe so by surprise and by which she felt injured, especially when it became apparent how much we had the best of the bargain. Then the sudden, unexpected show of force by which he imposed on the United States our interpretation of that tiresome treaty—I could never make out what it was about. These were both matters that no one really cared a straw about, but he made every one feel as if they cared; the nation rose to the way he played his trumps—it was uncommon. He was one of the few men we’ve had, in our period, who took Europe, or took America, by surprise, made them jump a bit; and the country liked his doing it—it was a pleasant change. The rest of the world considered that they knew in any case exactly what we would do, which was usually nothing at all. Say what you like, he’s still a high name; partly also, no doubt, on account of other things his early success and early death, his political ‘cheek’ and wit; his very appearance—he certainly was handsome—and the possibilities (of future personal supremacy) which it was the fashion at the time, which it’s the fashion still, to say had passed away with him. He had been twice at the Foreign Office; that alone was remarkable for a man dying at forty-four. What therefore will the country think when it learns he was venal?”
“They're still proud of some of the things he did at the Foreign Office—the famous ‘exchange’ with Spain in the Mediterranean, which took Europe by surprise and made her feel slighted, especially when it became clear how much we benefited from the deal. Then there was the sudden, unexpected show of force by which he got the United States to accept our interpretation of that annoying treaty—I could never figure out what it was about. These were both issues that no one really cared about, but he made everyone feel invested; the nation rallied around how he played his cards—it was extraordinary. He was one of the few men we've had in our time who took Europe or America by surprise, made them react; and the country enjoyed that—it was a refreshing change. The rest of the world thought they knew exactly what we would do, which was usually nothing at all. Love him or hate him, he's still a prominent figure; partly due to his early success and untimely death, his political bravado and wit; his appearance—he was definitely handsome—and the possibilities (of future personal greatness) which it was fashionable at the time, and still is, to say ended with him. He had served twice at the Foreign Office; that alone was remarkable for someone who died at forty-four. So what will the country think when it finds out he was corrupt?”
Peter Baron himself was not angry with Sir Dominick Ferrand, who had simply become to him (he had been “reading up” feverishly for a week) a very curious subject of psychological study; but he could easily put himself in the place of that portion of the public whose memory was long enough for their patriotism to receive a shock. It was some time fortunately since the conduct of public affairs had wanted for men of disinterested ability, but the extraordinary documents concealed (of all places in the world—it was as fantastic as a nightmare) in a “bargain” picked up at second-hand by an obscure scribbler, would be a calculable blow to the retrospective mind. Baron saw vividly that if these relics should be made public the scandal, the horror, the chatter would be immense. Immense would be also the contribution to truth, the rectification of history. He had felt for several days (and it was exactly what had made him so nervous) as if he held in his hand the key to public attention.
Peter Baron himself wasn’t angry with Sir Dominick Ferrand, who had simply become, to him (he had been “reading up” like crazy for a week), a fascinating subject for psychological study; but he could easily understand how some people with a long enough memory might feel their patriotism taking a hit. Luckily, it had been a while since the running of public affairs lacked people of genuine ability, but the extraordinary documents hidden (of all places in the world—it was as bizarre as a bad dream) in a “bargain” found second-hand by an unknown writer would be a significant blow to those looking back at history. Baron clearly saw that if these artifacts were made public, the scandal, the outrage, and the gossip would be enormous. The contribution to truth and the correction of history would also be enormous. For several days he had felt (and this was exactly what made him so anxious) as if he was holding the key to the public’s attention.
“There are too many things to explain,” Mr. Locket went on, “and the singular provenance of your papers would count almost overwhelmingly against them even if the other objections were met. There would be a perfect and probably a very complicated pedigree to trace. How did they get into your davenport, as you call it, and how long had they been there? What hands secreted them? what hands had, so incredibly, clung to them and preserved them? Who are the persons mentioned in them? who are the correspondents, the parties to the nefarious transactions? You say the transactions appear to be of two distinct kinds—some of them connected with public business and others involving obscure personal relations.”
“There are too many things to explain,” Mr. Locket continued, “and the unique provenance of your papers would heavily weigh against them, even if the other objections were addressed. There would be a complete and likely very complicated lineage to trace. How did they end up in your davenport, as you call it, and how long had they been there? What hands hid them? What hands had, astonishingly, held onto them and preserved them? Who are the people mentioned in them? Who are the correspondents, the parties involved in these shady dealings? You say the transactions seem to fall into two different categories—some related to public business and others involving unclear personal relationships.”
“They all have this in common,” said Peter Baron, “that they constitute evidence of uneasiness, in some instances of painful alarm, on the writer’s part, in relation to exposure—the exposure in the one case, as I gather, of the fact that he had availed himself of official opportunities to promote enterprises (public works and that sort of thing) in which he had a pecuniary stake. The dread of the light in the other connection is evidently different, and these letters are the earliest in date. They are addressed to a woman, from whom he had evidently received money.”
“They all share this in common,” said Peter Baron, “that they show signs of discomfort, and in some cases, serious alarm, from the writer regarding exposure—the exposure, in one instance, of the fact that he took advantage of official opportunities to support projects (public works and similar things) in which he had a financial interest. The fear of being discovered in the other context is clearly different, and these letters are the earliest. They are addressed to a woman from whom he had clearly received money.”
Mr. Locket wiped his glasses. “What woman?”
Mr. Locket cleaned his glasses. “What woman?”
“I haven’t the least idea. There are lots of questions I can’t answer, of course; lots of identities I can’t establish; lots of gaps I can’t fill. But as to two points I’m clear, and they are the essential ones. In the first place the papers in my possession are genuine; in the second place they’re compromising.”
“I have no idea. There are plenty of questions I can’t answer, many identities I can’t confirm, and a lot of gaps I can’t fill. But when it comes to two points, I'm sure, and they are the most important ones. First, the documents I have are authentic; second, they’re incriminating.”
With this Peter Baron rose again, rather vexed with himself for having been led on to advertise his treasure (it was his interlocutor’s perfectly natural scepticism that produced this effect), for he felt that he was putting himself in a false position. He detected in Mr. Locket’s studied detachment the fermentation of impulses from which, unsuccessful as he was, he himself prayed to be delivered.
With this, Peter Baron got up again, feeling a bit annoyed with himself for having been persuaded to reveal his treasure (it was his conversation partner's perfectly natural skepticism that caused this reaction), as he realized he was putting himself in a compromised position. He sensed in Mr. Locket's careful indifference the brewing of feelings from which, despite his failures, he hoped to be free.
Mr. Locket remained seated; he watched Baron go across the room for his hat and umbrella. “Of course, the question would come up of whose property today such documents would legally he. There are heirs, descendants, executors to consider.”
Mr. Locket stayed seated as he watched the Baron walk across the room to get his hat and umbrella. “Naturally, the question arises about who legally owns those documents today. There are heirs, descendants, and executors to think about.”
“In some degree perhaps; but I’ve gone into that a little. Sir Dominick Ferrand had no children, and he left no brothers and no sisters. His wife survived him, but she died ten years ago. He can have had no heirs and no executors to speak of, for he left no property.”
“In some degree, maybe; but I've looked into that a bit. Sir Dominick Ferrand had no children, and he had no brothers or sisters. His wife outlived him, but she passed away ten years ago. He couldn't have had any heirs or executors to mention, since he left behind no property.”
“That’s to his honour and against your theory,” said Mr. Locket.
"That speaks well of him and contradicts your theory," said Mr. Locket.
“I have no theory. He left a largeish mass of debt,” Peter Baron added. At this Mr. Locket got up, while his visitor pursued: “So far as I can ascertain, though of course my inquiries have had to be very rapid and superficial, there is no one now living, directly or indirectly related to the personage in question, who would be likely to suffer from any steps in the direction of publicity. It happens to be a rare instance of a life that had, as it were, no loose ends. At least there are none perceptible at present.”
“I don’t have a theory. He left quite a bit of debt,” Peter Baron added. At this, Mr. Locket stood up, while his visitor continued: “As far as I can tell, although my inquiries have had to be very quick and surface-level, there’s no one alive now, directly or indirectly related to the person in question, who would likely be affected by any moves toward publicity. It happens to be a rare case of a life that, so to speak, had no loose ends. At least, there aren’t any noticeable right now.”
“I see, I see,” said Mr. Locket. “But I don’t think I should care much for your article.”
“I see, I see,” said Mr. Locket. “But I don’t think I would care much for your article.”
“What article?”
“What article?”
“The one you seem to wish to write, embodying this new matter.”
“The one you appear to want to write, capturing this new topic.”
“Oh, I don’t wish to write it!” Peter exclaimed. And then he bade his host good-by.
“Oh, I really don’t want to write it!” Peter said. And then he said goodbye to his host.
“Good-by,” said Mr. Locket. “Mind you, I don’t say that I think there’s nothing in it.”
“Goodbye,” said Mr. Locket. “Just so you know, I’m not saying I think there’s nothing to it.”
“You would think there was something in it if you were to see my documents.”
“You’d think there’s something going on if you saw my documents.”
“I should like to see the secret compartment,” the caustic editor rejoined. “Copy me out some extracts.”
“I’d like to see the secret compartment,” the biting editor replied. “Copy out some excerpts for me.”
“To what end, if there’s no question of their being of use to you?”
“To what purpose, if there's no chance they'll be useful to you?”
“I don’t say that—I might like the letters themselves.”
“I’m not saying that—I might actually like the letters themselves.”
“Themselves?”
"Themselves?"
“Not as the basis of a paper, but just to publish—for a sensation.”
“Not as the foundation of a paper, but just to share—for shock value.”
“They’d sell your number!” Baron laughed.
“They’d sell your number!” Baron laughed.
“I daresay I should like to look at them,” Mr. Locket conceded after a moment. “When should I find you at home?”
“I suppose I would like to see them,” Mr. Locket admitted after a moment. “When will you be home?”
“Don’t come,” said the young man. “I make you no offer.”
“Don’t come,” said the young man. “I’m not making you any offer.”
“I might make you one,” the editor hinted. “Don’t trouble yourself; I shall probably destroy them.” With this Peter Baron took his departure, waiting however just afterwards, in the street near the house, as if he had been looking out for a stray hansom, to which he would not have signalled had it appeared. He thought Mr. Locket might hurry after him, but Mr. Locket seemed to have other things to do, and Peter Baron returned on foot to Jersey Villas.
“I might make you one,” the editor suggested. “Don’t worry about it; I’ll probably just throw them away.” With that, Peter Baron left, but he lingered for a moment in the street near the house, as if he were waiting for a taxi he wouldn’t have flagged down even if it showed up. He figured Mr. Locket might rush after him, but Mr. Locket seemed to have other priorities, so Peter Baron walked back to Jersey Villas.
IV.
On the evening that succeeded this apparently pointless encounter he had an interview more conclusive with Mrs. Bundy, for whose shrewd and philosophic view of life he had several times expressed, even to the good woman herself, a considerable relish. The situation at Jersey Villas (Mrs. Ryves had suddenly flown off to Dover) was such as to create in him a desire for moral support, and there was a kind of domestic determination in Mrs. Bundy which seemed, in general, to advertise it. He had asked for her on coming in, but had been told she was absent for the hour; upon which he had addressed himself mechanically to the task of doing up his dishonoured manuscript—the ingenious fiction about which Mr. Locket had been so stupid—for further adventures and not improbable defeats. He passed a restless, ineffective afternoon, asking himself if his genius were a horrid delusion, looking out of his window for something that didn’t happen, something that seemed now to be the advent of a persuasive Mr. Locket and now the return, from an absence more disappointing even than Mrs. Bundy’s, of his interesting neighbour of the parlours. He was so nervous and so depressed that he was unable even to fix his mind on the composition of the note with which, on its next peregrination, it was necessary that his manuscript should be accompanied. He was too nervous to eat, and he forgot even to dine; he forgot to light his candles, he let his fire go out, and it was in the melancholy chill of the late dusk that Mrs. Bundy, arriving at last with his lamp, found him extended moodily upon his sofa. She had been informed that he wished to speak to her, and as she placed on the malodorous luminary an oily shade of green pasteboard she expressed the friendly hope that there was nothing wrong with his ’ealth.
On the evening after this seemingly pointless encounter, he had a more meaningful conversation with Mrs. Bundy, whose sharp and philosophical perspective on life he had often mentioned, even to her, with considerable appreciation. The situation at Jersey Villas (Mrs. Ryves had suddenly left for Dover) made him crave moral support, and there was a certain domestic determination in Mrs. Bundy that generally conveyed this need. He had asked for her when he came in but was told she was gone for the hour; so, he mechanically focused on the task of revising his tarnished manuscript—the clever story that Mr. Locket had been so foolish about—for more potential adventures and likely defeats. He spent a restless, unproductive afternoon, questioning whether his creative talent was a terrible illusion, looking out of his window for something that never came, something that now seemed to be the arrival of a persuasive Mr. Locket or the return of his interesting neighbor from the parlors, a return even more disappointing than Mrs. Bundy’s absence. He felt so anxious and down that he couldn’t concentrate on writing the note that needed to accompany his manuscript on its next journey. He was too nervous to eat, and he even forgot to have dinner; he neglected to light his candles, let his fire go out, and it was in the gloomy chill of the late dusk that Mrs. Bundy finally arrived with his lamp, finding him moodily stretched out on his sofa. She had been told he wanted to talk to her, and as she placed the unpleasant lamp with its green cardboard shade in front of him, she expressed her friendly hope that he was feeling okay.
The young man rose from his couch, pulling himself together sufficiently to reply that his health was well enough but that his spirits were down in his hoots. He had a strong disposition to “draw” his landlady on the subject of Mrs. Ryves, as well as a vivid conviction that she constituted a theme as to which Mrs. Bundy would require little pressure to tell him even more than she knew. At the same time he hated to appear to pry into the secrets of his absent friend; to discuss her with their bustling hostess resembled too much for his taste a gossip with a tattling servant about an unconscious employer. He left out of account however Mrs. Bundy’s knowledge of the human heart, for it was this fine principle that broke down the barriers after he had reflected reassuringly that it was not meddling with Mrs. Ryves’s affairs to try and find out if she struck such an observer as happy. Crudely, abruptly, even a little blushingly, he put the direct question to Mrs. Bundy, and this led tolerably straight to another question, which, on his spirit, sat equally heavy (they were indeed but different phases of the same), and which the good woman answered with expression when she ejaculated: “Think it a liberty for you to run down for a few hours? If she do, my dear sir, just send her to me to talk to!” As regards happiness indeed she warned Baron against imposing too high a standard on a young thing who had been through so much, and before he knew it he found himself, without the responsibility of choice, in submissive receipt of Mrs. Bundy’s version of this experience. It was an interesting picture, though it had its infirmities, one of them congenital and consisting of the fact that it had sprung essentially from the virginal brain of Miss Teagle. Amplified, edited, embellished by the richer genius of Mrs. Bundy, who had incorporated with it and now liberally introduced copious interleavings of Miss Teagle’s own romance, it gave Peter Baron much food for meditation, at the same time that it only half relieved his curiosity about the causes of the charming woman’s underlying strangeness. He sounded this note experimentally in Mrs. Bundy’s ear, but it was easy to see that it didn’t reverberate in her fancy. She had no idea of the picture it would have been natural for him to desire that Mrs. Ryves should present to him, and she was therefore unable to estimate the points in respect to which his actual impression was irritating. She had indeed no adequate conception of the intellectual requirements of a young man in love. She couldn’t tell him why their faultless friend was so isolated, so unrelated, so nervously, shrinkingly proud. On the other hand she could tell him (he knew it already) that she had passed many years of her life in the acquisition of accomplishments at a seat of learning no less remote than Boulogne, and that Miss Teagle had been intimately acquainted with the late Mr. Everard Ryves, who was a “most rising” young man in the city, not making any year less than his clear twelve hundred. “Now that he isn’t there to make them, his mourning widow can’t live as she had then, can she?” Mrs. Bundy asked.
The young man got up from his couch, managing to pull himself together enough to say that he was feeling okay, but that he was feeling down. He really wanted to ask his landlady about Mrs. Ryves and was convinced it wouldn’t take much to get Mrs. Bundy to share a bit more than she knew. At the same time, he didn’t want to seem like he was prying into his absent friend's life; talking about her with their busy hostess felt a bit too much like gossiping with a talkative servant about an unwitting employer. However, he overlooked Mrs. Bundy’s understanding of human emotions because it was this insight that broke down barriers after he reassured himself that trying to find out if Mrs. Ryves seemed happy wasn’t meddling in her affairs. Without much finesse, he directly asked Mrs. Bundy, which naturally led to another question that weighed heavily on him (they were, in fact, just different aspects of the same issue), and the good woman responded emphatically, “Do you think it’s a lot for her to come down for a few hours? If she does, my dear sir, just send her to me to chat!” Regarding happiness, she cautioned Baron against setting too high a standard for a young woman who had been through so much, and before he knew it, he found himself passively absorbing Mrs. Bundy’s take on this experience. It was an interesting picture, despite its flaws, one of which was inherent in the fact that it had mostly come from the innocent mind of Miss Teagle. Enhanced, edited, and enriched by Mrs. Bundy, who had added her own insights along with generous doses of Miss Teagle’s own romantic past, it gave Peter Baron plenty to think about, even as it only somewhat eased his curiosity about the charming woman’s underlying peculiarities. He tentatively expressed this thought to Mrs. Bundy, but it was clear that it didn’t resonate with her. She had no clue what kind of image he might want Mrs. Ryves to present, and so she couldn't understand what aspects of his actual impression were frustrating to him. In fact, she had no real understanding of what a young man in love might need intellectually. She couldn't explain to him why their perfect friend felt so isolated, so disconnected, and so nervously proud. On the other hand, she could tell him (which he already knew) that she had spent many years acquiring skills at a school as far away as Boulogne, and that Miss Teagle had been close to the late Mr. Everard Ryves, who was a very promising young man in the city, earning at least twelve hundred a year. “Now that he's not around to make money, his grieving widow can’t live as she used to, can she?” Mrs. Bundy asked.
Baron was not prepared to say that she could, but he thought of another way she might live as he sat, the next day, in the train which rattled him down to Dover. The place, as he approached it, seemed bright and breezy to him; his roamings had been neither far enough nor frequent enough to make the cockneyfied coast insipid. Mrs. Bundy had of course given him the address he needed, and on emerging from the station he was on the point of asking what direction he should take. His attention however at this moment was drawn away by the bustle of the departing boat. He had been long enough shut up in London to be conscious of refreshment in the mere act of turning his face to Paris. He wandered off to the pier in company with happier tourists and, leaning on a rail, watched enviously the preparation, the agitation of foreign travel. It was for some minutes a foretaste of adventure; but, ah, when was he to have the very draught? He turned away as he dropped this interrogative sigh, and in doing so perceived that in another part of the pier two ladies and a little boy were gathered with something of the same wistfulness. The little boy indeed happened to look round for a moment, upon which, with the keenness of the predatory age, he recognised in our young man a source of pleasures from which he lately had been weaned. He bounded forward with irrepressible cries of “Geegee!” and Peter lifted him aloft for an embrace. On putting him down the pilgrim from Jersey Villas stood confronted with a sensibly severe Miss Teagle, who had followed her little charge. “What’s the matter with the old woman?” he asked himself as he offered her a hand which she treated as the merest detail. Whatever it was, it was (and very properly, on the part of a loyal suivante) the same complaint as that of her employer, to whom, from a distance, for Mrs. Ryves had not advanced an inch, he flourished his hat as she stood looking at him with a face that he imagined rather white. Mrs. Ryves’s response to this salutation was to shift her position in such a manner as to appear again absorbed in the Calais boat. Peter Baron, however, kept hold of the child, whom Miss Teagle artfully endeavoured to wrest from him—a policy in which he was aided by Sidney’s own rough but instinctive loyalty; and he was thankful for the happy effect of being dragged by his jubilant friend in the very direction in which he had tended for so many hours. Mrs. Ryves turned once more as he came near, and then, from the sweet, strained smile with which she asked him if he were on his way to France, he saw that if she had been angry at his having followed her she had quickly got over it.
Baron wasn't ready to say she could, but he thought of another way she might manage as he sat on the train the next day, rattling down to Dover. The place seemed bright and breezy to him as he approached; his travels hadn’t been frequent enough to make the touristy coast dull. Mrs. Bundy had, of course, given him the address he needed, and as he stepped out of the station, he was about to ask which way to go. However, his attention was drawn away by the hustle of the departing boat. He had been cooped up in London long enough to feel refreshed just by turning his face toward Paris. He wandered off to the pier with happier tourists and leaned on the railing, watching enviously the excitement of foreign travel. It was a taste of adventure for a few minutes; but, ah, when would he have the real experience? He turned away with a sigh of the question as he noticed two ladies and a little boy gathered at another part of the pier, looking equally wistful. The little boy happened to glance back for a moment and, with the keen eye of a child, recognized Baron as a source of fun he had recently been missing. He rushed forward with uncontrollable shouts of “Geegee!” and Peter lifted him up for a hug. When he set him down, the traveler from Jersey Villas faced a rather stern Miss Teagle, who had followed the little one. “What’s up with her?” he wondered as he offered her his hand, which she brushed off as a minor gesture. Whatever it was, it was (and quite rightly, for a loyal suivante) the same issue as her employer, to whom, from a distance, he waved his hat while she stood there looking at him with a face he thought appeared rather pale. Mrs. Ryves’s response to his greeting was to shift her position to look once more at the Calais boat. Nevertheless, Peter Baron kept hold of the child, while Miss Teagle cleverly tried to pry him away—an effort aided by Sidney's rough but instinctive loyalty; and he was grateful to be pulled in the very direction he had been trying to go for so long. Mrs. Ryves looked back as he approached, and then, from the sweet, strained smile with which she asked if he was on his way to France, he saw that if she had been upset about him following her, she had quickly gotten over it.
“No, I’m not crossing; but it came over me that you might be, and that’s why I hurried down—to catch you before you were off.”
“No, I’m not crossing; but it occurred to me that you might be, and that’s why I rushed down—to catch you before you took off.”
“Oh, we can’t go—more’s the pity; but why, if we could,” Mrs. Ryves inquired, “should you wish to prevent it?”
“Oh, we can’t go—what a shame; but why, if we could,” Mrs. Ryves asked, “would you want to stop it?”
“Because I’ve something to ask you first, something that may take some time.” He saw now that her embarrassment had really not been resentful; it had been nervous, tremulous, as the emotion of an unexpected pleasure might have been. “That’s really why I determined last night, without asking your leave first to pay you this little visit—that and the intense desire for another bout of horse-play with Sidney. Oh, I’ve come to see you,” Peter Baron went on, “and I won’t make any secret of the fact that I expect you to resign yourself gracefully to the trial and give me all your time. The day’s lovely, and I’m ready to declare that the place is as good as the day. Let me drink deep of these things, drain the cup like a man who hasn’t been out of London for months and months. Let me walk with you and talk with you and lunch with you—I go back this afternoon. Give me all your hours in short, so that they may live in my memory as one of the sweetest occasions of life.”
“Because I have something to ask you first, something that might take a while.” He realized now that her embarrassment hadn’t really been about resentment; it had been nervous and shaky, like the feeling of an unexpected pleasure. “That’s actually why I decided last night, without asking for your permission first, to pay you this little visit—along with the strong desire for another round of fun with Sidney. Oh, I’ve come to see you,” Peter Baron continued, “and I won’t hide the fact that I expect you to handle this gracefully and give me all your time. The day is beautiful, and I’m ready to say that this place is just as wonderful as the day. Let me soak it all in, drink deeply like a man who hasn’t left London in ages. Let me walk with you, talk with you, and have lunch with you—I’m heading back this afternoon. In short, give me all your hours so that they can be remembered as one of the sweetest times in my life.”
The emission of steam from the French packet made such an uproar that Baron could breathe his passion into the young woman’s ear without scandalising the spectators; and the charm which little by little it scattered over his fleeting visit proved indeed to be the collective influence of the conditions he had put into words. “What is it you wish to ask me?” Mrs. Ryves demanded, as they stood there together; to which he replied that he would tell her all about it if she would send Miss Teagle off with Sidney. Miss Teagle, who was always anticipating her cue, had already begun ostentatiously to gaze at the distant shores of France and was easily enough induced to take an earlier start home and rise to the responsibility of stopping on her way to contend with the butcher. She had however to retire without Sidney, who clung to his recovered prey, so that the rest of the episode was seasoned, to Baron’s sense, by the importunate twitch of the child’s little, plump, cool hand. The friends wandered together with a conjugal air and Sidney not between them, hanging wistfully, first, over the lengthened picture of the Calais boat, till they could look after it, as it moved rumbling away, in a spell of silence which seemed to confess—especially when, a moment later, their eyes met—that it produced the same fond fancy in each. The presence of the boy moreover was no hindrance to their talking in a manner that they made believe was very frank. Peter Baron presently told his companion what it was he had taken a journey to ask, and he had time afterwards to get over his discomfiture at her appearance of having fancied it might be something greater. She seemed disappointed (but she was forgiving) on learning from him that he had only wished to know if she judged ferociously his not having complied with her request to respect certain seals.
The steam from the French boat made such a racket that Baron could whisper his feelings into the young woman’s ear without shocking the onlookers; and the charm he gradually spread during his brief visit truly reflected the collective impact of what he had expressed. “What do you want to ask me?” Mrs. Ryves asked as they stood together; he said he would tell her everything if she sent Miss Teagle off with Sidney. Miss Teagle, who was always ready for her cue, had already begun to gaze dramatically at the faraway shores of France and was easily persuaded to head home early, taking on the task of dealing with the butcher on her way. However, she had to leave without Sidney, who held onto his newly found treasure, so the rest of the moment was colored, to Baron’s awareness, by the persistent tug of the child’s little, chubby, cool hand. The friends strolled together with a couple-like ease, without Sidney between them, lingering first over the elongated view of the Calais boat until they could watch it rumble away in a hush that seemed to acknowledge—especially when their eyes met a moment later—that it stirred the same affectionate thought in each of them. Moreover, the boy’s presence didn’t stop them from talking in a way that they pretended was very open. Soon, Peter Baron told his companion what he had traveled to ask, and he had time afterward to recover from his embarrassment at her seeming belief that it was something bigger. She looked disappointed (but she was understanding) when she learned from him that he only wanted to know if she harshly judged him for not respecting certain seals she had requested.
“How ferociously do you suspect me of having judged it?” she inquired.
“How fiercely do you think I’ve judged it?” she asked.
“Why, to the extent of leaving the house the next moment.”
“Why, to the point of leaving the house right after.”
They were still lingering on the great granite pier when he touched on this matter, and she sat down at the end while the breeze, warmed by the sunshine, ruffled the purple sea. She coloured a little and looked troubled, and after an instant she repeated interrogatively: “The next moment?”
They were still hanging out on the big granite pier when he brought this up, and she sat down at the end while the breeze, warmed by the sunshine, ruffled the purple sea. She blushed a bit and looked worried, and after a moment she asked, “The next moment?”
“As soon as I told you what I had done. I was scrupulous about this, you will remember; I went straight downstairs to confess to you. You turned away from me, saying nothing; I couldn’t imagine—as I vow I can’t imagine now—why such a matter should appear so closely to touch you. I went out on some business and when I returned you had quitted the house. It had all the look of my having offended you, of your wishing to get away from me. You didn’t even give me time to tell you how it was that, in spite of your advice, I determined to see for myself what my discovery represented. You must do me justice and hear what determined me.”
“As soon as I told you what I had done, I was careful about this, you’ll remember; I went straight downstairs to confess to you. You turned away from me, saying nothing; I couldn’t imagine—as I swear I can’t imagine now—why this matter affected you so deeply. I went to take care of some business, and when I got back, you had left the house. It all seemed like I had offended you, like you wanted to get away from me. You didn't even give me a chance to explain how, despite your advice, I decided to see for myself what my discovery really meant. You have to be fair and hear what motivated me.”
Mrs. Ryves got up from her scat and asked him, as a particular favour, not to allude again to his discovery. It was no concern of hers at all, and she had no warrant for prying into his secrets. She was very sorry to have been for a moment so absurd as to appear to do so, and she humbly begged his pardon for her meddling. Saying this she walked on with a charming colour in her cheek, while he laughed out, though he was really bewildered, at the endless capriciousness of women. Fortunately the incident didn’t spoil the hour, in which there were other sources of satisfaction, and they took their course to her lodgings with such pleasant little pauses and excursions by the way as permitted her to show him the objects of interest at Dover. She let him stop at a wine-merchant’s and buy a bottle for luncheon, of which, in its order, they partook, together with a pudding invented by Miss Teagle, which, as they hypocritically swallowed it, made them look at each other in an intimacy of indulgence. They came out again and, while Sidney grubbed in the gravel of the shore, sat selfishly on the Parade, to the disappointment of Miss Teagle, who had fixed her hopes on a fly and a ladylike visit to the castle. Baron had his eye on his watch—he had to think of his train and the dismal return and many other melancholy things; but the sea in the afternoon light was a more appealing picture; the wind had gone down, the Channel was crowded, the sails of the ships were white in the purple distance. The young man had asked his companion (he had asked her before) when she was to come back to Jersey Villas, and she had said that she should probably stay at Dover another week. It was dreadfully expensive, but it was doing the child all the good in the world, and if Miss Teagle could go up for some things she should probably be able to manage an extension. Earlier in the day she had said that she perhaps wouldn’t return to Jersey Villas at all, or only return to wind up her connection with Mrs. Bundy. At another moment she had spoken of an early date, an immediate reoccupation of the wonderful parlours. Baron saw that she had no plan, no real reasons, that she was vague and, in secret, worried and nervous, waiting for something that didn’t depend on herself. A silence of several minutes had fallen upon them while they watched the shining sails; to which Mrs. Ryves put an end by exclaiming abruptly, but without completing her sentence: “Oh, if you had come to tell me you had destroyed them—”
Mrs. Ryves got up from her seat and asked him, as a special favor, not to mention his discovery again. It didn't concern her at all, and she had no right to pry into his secrets. She was really sorry for having seemed so ridiculous for a moment and humbly begged his forgiveness for her meddling. After saying this, she walked on with a lovely blush on her cheeks, while he laughed out, even though he was quite confused, at the endless unpredictability of women. Fortunately, the incident didn’t ruin the hour, during which there were other sources of pleasure, and they made their way to her lodgings, enjoying nice little stops and detours that allowed her to show him the interesting sights in Dover. She let him stop at a wine shop and buy a bottle for lunch, which they enjoyed together, along with a pudding created by Miss Teagle, which, as they pretended to eat it, made them glance at each other with a sense of connection. They stepped outside again and, while Sidney rummaged in the gravel on the shore, they selfishly sat on the Parade, disappointing Miss Teagle, who had hoped for a picnic and a ladylike visit to the castle. Baron kept an eye on his watch—he had to think about his train and the gloomy return, along with many other depressing thoughts; but the sea in the afternoon light was a much more inviting scene; the wind had died down, the Channel was busy, and the sails of the ships were white in the purple distance. The young man had asked his companion (he had asked her before) when she planned to return to Jersey Villas, and she had replied that she would probably stay in Dover for another week. It was incredibly expensive, but it was doing the child a world of good, and if Miss Teagle could come up for some things, she would probably be able to manage an extension. Earlier that day, she had mentioned that she might not return to Jersey Villas at all, or only come back to finish up her connection with Mrs. Bundy. At another moment, she had talked about a quick return, immediately moving back into the wonderful parlors. Baron realized she had no plan, no real reasons; she was vague and, secretly, worried and anxious, waiting for something that was out of her control. A silence of several minutes fell over them as they watched the shining sails; Mrs. Ryves broke it suddenly, although she didn’t finish her thought: “Oh, if you had come to tell me you had destroyed them—”
“Those terrible papers? I like the way you talk about ‘destroying!’ You don’t even know what they are.”
“Those awful papers? I like how you talk about ‘destroying!’ You don’t even know what they are.”
“I don’t want to know; they put me into a state.”
“I don't want to know; they put me in a state.”
“What sort of a state?”
“What kind of state?”
“I don’t know; they haunt me.”
“I don’t know; they keep coming back to me.”
“They haunted me; that was why, early one morning, suddenly, I couldn’t keep my hands off them. I had told you I wouldn’t touch them. I had deferred to your whim, your superstition (what is it?) but at last they got the better of me. I had lain awake all night threshing about, itching with curiosity. It made me ill; my own nerves (as I may say) were irritated, my capacity to work was gone. It had come over me in the small hours in the shape of an obsession, a fixed idea, that there was nothing in the ridiculous relics and that my exaggerated scruples were making a fool of me. It was ten to one they were rubbish, they were vain, they were empty; that they had been even a practical joke on the part of some weak-minded gentleman of leisure, the former possessor of the confounded davenport. The longer I hovered about them with such precautions the longer I was taken in, and the sooner I exposed their insignificance the sooner I should get back to my usual occupations. This conviction made my hand so uncontrollable that that morning before breakfast I broke one of the seals. It took me but a few minutes to perceive that the contents were not rubbish; the little bundle contained old letters—very curious old letters.”
“They haunted me; that’s why, one early morning, I suddenly couldn’t resist them. I had told you I wouldn’t touch them. I had gone along with your whim, your superstition (what is it?) but in the end, they got the best of me. I had lain awake all night, tossing and turning, itching with curiosity. It drove me insane; my own nerves were frayed, and I couldn’t focus on my work. It hit me in the early hours like an obsession, a fixed idea, that there was nothing in those ridiculous relics and that my excessive scruples were making a fool of me. The odds were ten to one they were worthless, they were trivial, they were meaningless; that they might have even been some practical joke from a feeble-minded gentleman of leisure, the previous owner of the cursed desk. The longer I lingered around them with such caution, the longer I was tricked, and the sooner I uncovered their insignificance, the sooner I could return to my normal work. This belief made my hand so uncontrollable that morning before breakfast, I broke one of the seals. It took me just a few minutes to realize that the contents were not trash; the little bundle held old letters—very intriguing old letters.”
“I know—I know; ‘private and confidential.’ So you broke the other seals?” Mrs. Ryves looked at him with the strange apprehension he had seen in her eyes when she appeared at his door the moment after his discovery.
“I get it—I get it; ‘private and confidential.’ So you broke the other seals?” Mrs. Ryves looked at him with the same unsettling worry he had noticed in her eyes when she showed up at his door right after he made his discovery.
“You know, of course, because I told you an hour later, though you would let me tell you very little.”
“You know, of course, because I told you an hour later, even though you let me share very little.”
Baron, as he met this queer gaze, smiled hard at her to prevent her guessing that he smarted with the fine reproach conveyed in the tone of her last words; but she appeared able to guess everything, for she reminded him that she had not had to wait that morning till he came downstairs to know what had happened above, but had shown him at the moment how she had been conscious of it an hour before, had passed on her side the same tormented night as he, and had had to exert extraordinary self-command not to rush up to his rooms while the study of the open packets was going on. “You’re so sensitively organised and you’ve such mysterious powers that you re uncanny,” Baron declared.
Baron, meeting her strange gaze, forced a smile to keep her from realizing that her last comment had stung him. But she seemed to sense everything, reminding him that she didn't have to wait for him to come downstairs to know what had happened upstairs; she had felt it an hour before. She had endured the same restless night as he had and had to show incredible self-control not to run up to his rooms while he was going through the open packets. “You’re so sensitive and you have such mysterious abilities that you’re almost uncanny,” Baron said.
“I feel what takes place at a distance; that’s all.”
"I sense what happens from far away; that's it."
“One would think somebody you liked was in danger.”
“One would think someone you cared about was in danger.”
“I told you that that was what was present to me the day I came up to see you.”
“I told you that’s what I experienced the day I came to see you.”
“Oh, but you don’t like me so much as that,” Baron argued, laughing.
“Oh, but you don’t like me that much,” Baron said, laughing.
She hesitated. “No, I don’t know that I do.”
She paused. “No, I don’t think I do.”
“It must be for someone else—the other person concerned. The other day, however, you wouldn’t let me tell you that person’s name.”
“It has to be for someone else—the other person involved. The other day, though, you wouldn’t let me say that person’s name.”
Mrs. Ryves, at this, rose quickly. “I don’t want to know it; it’s none of my business.”
Mrs. Ryves quickly stood up. "I don't want to know; it's not my concern."
“No, fortunately, I don’t think it is,” Baron rejoined, walking with her along the Parade. She had Sidney by the hand now, and the young man was on the other side of her. They moved toward the station—she had offered to go part of the way. “But with your miraculous gift it’s a wonder you haven’t divined.”
“No, luckily, I don’t think it is,” Baron replied, walking with her along the Parade. She was holding Sidney’s hand now, and the young man was on her other side. They were heading toward the station—she had offered to go part of the way. “But with your amazing talent, it’s surprising you haven’t figured it out.”
“I only divine what I want,” said Mrs. Ryves.
“I only see what I want,” said Mrs. Ryves.
“That’s very convenient!” exclaimed Peter, to whom Sidney had presently come round again. “Only, being thus in the dark, it’s difficult to see your motive for wishing the papers destroyed.”
“That’s really convenient!” Peter exclaimed, as Sidney had just come back around. “But since I’m in the dark about it, it’s hard to understand why you want the papers destroyed.”
Mrs. Ryves meditated, looking fixedly at the ground. “I thought you might do it to oblige me.”
Mrs. Ryves thought deeply, staring intently at the ground. “I figured you might do it to help me out.”
“Does it strike you that such an expectation, formed in such conditions, is reasonable?”
“Do you think it's fair for someone to have that expectation, given the circumstances?”
Mrs. Ryves stopped short, and this time she turned on him the clouded clearness of her eyes. “What do you mean to do with them?”
Mrs. Ryves stopped abruptly and this time she fixed him with the clear intensity of her eyes. “What do you plan to do with them?”
It was Peter Baron’s turn to meditate, which he did, on the empty asphalt of the Parade (the “season,” at Dover, was not yet), where their shadows were long in the afternoon light. He was under such a charm as he had never known, and he wanted immensely to be able to reply: “I’ll do anything you like if you’ll love me.” These words, however, would have represented a responsibility and have constituted what was vulgarly termed an offer. An offer of what? he quickly asked himself here, as he had already asked himself after making in spirit other awkward dashes in the same direction—of what but his poverty, his obscurity, his attempts that had come to nothing, his abilities for which there was nothing to show? Mrs. Ryves was not exactly a success, but she was a greater success than Peter Baron. Poor as he was he hated the sordid (he knew she didn’t love it), and he felt small for talking of marriage. Therefore he didn’t put the question in the words it would have pleased him most to hear himself utter, but he compromised, with an angry young pang, and said to her: “What will you do for me if I put an end to them?”
It was Peter Baron’s turn to think things over, which he did on the empty pavement of the Parade (the “season” in Dover hadn’t started yet), where their shadows stretched long in the afternoon light. He was under a spell like he had never experienced before, and he desperately wanted to be able to say: “I’ll do anything you want if you love me.” However, those words would have implied a responsibility and would have been what people commonly referred to as an offer. An offer of what? he quickly wondered, just as he had pondered after making other awkward attempts in that direction—an offer of nothing but his poverty, his obscurity, his failed attempts, and his abilities that brought no results? Mrs. Ryves wasn’t exactly a success, but she was more successful than Peter Baron. Despite his lack of money, he loathed the grittiness (he knew she didn’t love it either), and he felt small for even mentioning marriage. So, he didn’t pose the question in the way that would have made him happiest to say; instead, he settled, with a frustrated pang, for asking her: “What will you do for me if I end it all?”
She shook her head sadly—it was always her prettiest movement. “I can promise nothing—oh, no, I can’t promise! We must part now,” she added. “You’ll miss your train.”
She shook her head sadly—it was always her most beautiful gesture. “I can’t promise anything—oh, no, I can’t promise! We have to say goodbye now,” she added. “You’ll miss your train.”
He looked at his watch, taking the hand she held out to him. She drew it away quickly, and nothing then was left him, before hurrying to the station, but to catch up Sidney and squeeze him till he uttered a little shriek. On the way back to town the situation struck him as grotesque.
He checked his watch and took the hand she offered him. She pulled it back quickly, and with nothing else to do before rushing to the station, he decided to catch up with Sidney and squeeze him until he let out a little shriek. On the way back to town, he found the whole situation ridiculous.
V.
It tormented him so the next morning that after threshing it out a little further he felt he had something of a grievance. Mrs. Ryves’s intervention had made him acutely uncomfortable, for she had taken the attitude of exerting pressure without, it appeared, recognising on his part an equal right. She had imposed herself as an influence, yet she held herself aloof as a participant; there were things she looked to him to do for her, yet she could tell him of no good that would come to him from the doing. She should either have had less to say or have been willing to say more, and he asked himself why he should be the sport of her moods and her mysteries. He perceived her knack of punctual interference to be striking, but it was just this apparent infallibility that he resented. Why didn’t she set up at once as a professional clairvoyant and eke out her little income more successfully? In purely private life such a gift was disconcerting; her divinations, her evasions disturbed at any rate his own tranquillity.
It bothered him so much the next morning that after thinking it over a bit more, he felt he had a valid complaint. Mrs. Ryves’s involvement made him really uncomfortable because she acted like she was putting pressure on him without recognizing that he had an equal say. She positioned herself as an influence but kept her distance as a participant; there were things she expected him to do for her, yet she couldn’t explain how it would benefit him. She should have either said less or been willing to share more, and he wondered why he should have to deal with her changing moods and secrets. He found her knack for timely interference remarkable, but it was precisely this seeming infallibility that he resented. Why didn’t she just become a professional fortune-teller and boost her income more effectively? In private life, such a talent was unsettling; her predictions and evasions definitely disrupted his peace of mind.
What disturbed it still further was that he received early in the day a visit from Mr. Locket, who, leaving him under no illusion as to the grounds of such an honour, remarked as soon as he had got into the room or rather while he still panted on the second flight and the smudged little slavey held open Baron’s door, that he had taken up his young friend’s invitation to look at Sir Dominick Ferrand’s letters for himself. Peter drew them forth with a promptitude intended to show that he recognised the commercial character of the call and without attenuating the inconsequence of this departure from the last determination he had expressed to Mr. Locket. He showed his visitor the davenport and the hidden recess, and he smoked a cigarette, humming softly, with a sense of unwonted advantage and triumph, while the cautious editor sat silent and handled the papers. For all his caution Mr. Locket was unable to keep a warmer light out of his judicial eye as he said to Baron at last with sociable brevity—a tone that took many things for granted: “I’ll take them home with me—they require much attention.”
What made it even more uncomfortable was that he received a visit early in the day from Mr. Locket, who, leaving him under no illusion about why he was there, remarked as soon as he entered the room—or rather while he was still catching his breath on the second floor, and the smudged little maid held open Baron’s door—that he had decided to take up his young friend’s invitation to check out Sir Dominick Ferrand’s letters himself. Peter quickly pulled them out, wanting to show that he recognized the business-like nature of the visit, without downplaying how odd it was compared to the last stance he had taken with Mr. Locket. He pointed out his davenport and the hidden compartment, and he smoked a cigarette, humming softly, feeling a strange sense of advantage and triumph, while the cautious editor remained quiet and examined the papers. Despite his caution, Mr. Locket couldn’t hide a more enthusiastic glint in his eyes as he finally said to Baron in a friendly tone—one that assumed a lot: “I’ll take them home with me—they need a lot of attention.”
The young man looked at him a moment. “Do you think they’re genuine?” He didn’t mean to be mocking, he meant not to be; but the words sounded so to his own ear, and he could see that they produced that effect on Mr. Locket.
The young man looked at him for a moment. “Do you think they’re real?” He didn’t mean to be sarcastic; he really didn’t want to be. But the words sounded that way to him, and he could tell they had the same effect on Mr. Locket.
“I can’t in the least determine. I shall have to go into them at my leisure, and that’s why I ask you to lend them to me.”
“I really can’t figure it out. I’ll need to go through them at my own pace, and that’s why I’m asking you to lend them to me.”
He had shuffled the papers together with a movement charged, while he spoke, with the air of being preliminary to that of thrusting them into a little black bag which he had brought with him and which, resting on the shelf of the davenport, struck Peter, who viewed it askance, as an object darkly editorial. It made our young man, somehow, suddenly apprehensive; the advantage of which he had just been conscious was about to be transferred by a quiet process of legerdemain to a person who already had advantages enough. Baron, in short, felt a deep pang of anxiety; he couldn’t have said why. Mr. Locket took decidedly too many things for granted, and the explorer of Sir Dominick Ferrand’s irregularities remembered afresh how clear he had been after all about his indisposition to traffic in them. He asked his visitor to what end he wished to remove the letters, since on the one hand there was no question now of the article in the Promiscuous which was to reveal their existence, and on the other he himself, as their owner, had a thousand insurmountable scruples about putting them into circulation.
He had gathered the papers with an intense movement, as if preparing to shove them into a little black bag he’d brought along, which sat on the shelf of the couch. Peter eyed it suspiciously, seeing it as something vaguely official. This somehow suddenly made our young man uneasy; the advantage he had just realized was about to be quietly transferred through a sleight of hand to someone who already had enough advantages. Baron felt a sharp pang of anxiety, though he couldn’t explain why. Mr. Locket took way too many things for granted, and the investigator of Sir Dominick Ferrand’s irregularities remembered all too well how clear he had been about his reluctance to get involved with them. He asked his guest why he wanted to take the letters, since, on one hand, there was no longer any question of the article in the Promiscuous that would reveal their existence, and on the other, he, as their owner, had countless serious reservations about putting them into circulation.
Mr. Locket looked over his spectacles as over the battlements of a fortress. “I’m not thinking of the end—I’m thinking of the beginning. A few glances have assured me that such documents ought to be submitted to some competent eye.”
Mr. Locket looked over his glasses like he was surveying a fortress. “I’m not focused on the end—I’m focused on the beginning. A few looks have confirmed that these documents should be reviewed by someone with the right expertise.”
“Oh, you mustn’t show them to anyone!” Baron exclaimed.
“Oh, you can’t show those to anyone!” the Baron exclaimed.
“You may think me presumptuous, but the eye that I venture to allude to in those terms—”
“You might think I'm being arrogant, but the eye I’m daring to refer to like that—”
“Is the eye now fixed so terribly on me?” Peter laughingly interrupted. “Oh, it would be interesting, I confess, to know how they strike a man of your acuteness!” It had occurred to him that by such a concession he might endear himself to a literary umpire hitherto implacable. There would be no question of his publishing Sir Dominick Ferrand, but he might, in due acknowledgment of services rendered, form the habit of publishing Peter Baron. “How long would it be your idea to retain them?” he inquired, in a manner which, he immediately became aware, was what incited Mr. Locket to begin stuffing the papers into his bag. With this perception he came quickly closer and, laying his hand on the gaping receptacle, lightly drew its two lips together. In this way the two men stood for a few seconds, touching, almost in the attitude of combat, looking hard into each other’s eyes.
“Is your gaze now fixed so intensely on me?” Peter laughed as he interrupted. “Oh, I have to admit, it would be interesting to see how they affect someone as sharp as you!” It occurred to him that by making such a concession, he might endear himself to a previously unyielding literary judge. There was no doubt about his publishing Sir Dominick Ferrand, but he thought that in acknowledgment of services rendered, he might start to publish Peter Baron as well. “How long do you plan to keep them?” he asked, and he quickly realized that this was what prompted Mr. Locket to start stuffing the papers into his bag. Realizing this, he moved closer, placing his hand on the open bag and gently pulling its sides together. In this way, the two men stood for a few seconds, touching, almost in a posture of confrontation, staring intensely into each other’s eyes.
The tension was quickly relieved however by the surprised flush which mantled on Mr. Locket’s brow. He fell back a few steps with an injured dignity that might have been a protest against physical violence. “Really, my dear young sir, your attitude is tantamount to an accusation of intended bad faith. Do you think I want to steal the confounded things?” In reply to such a challenge Peter could only hastily declare that he was guilty of no discourteous suspicion—he only wanted a limit named, a pledge of every precaution against accident. Mr. Locket admitted the justice of the demand, assured him he would restore the property within three days, and completed, with Peter’s assistance, his little arrangements for removing it discreetly. When he was ready, his treacherous reticule distended with its treasures, he gave a lingering look at the inscrutable davenport. “It’s how they ever got into that thing that puzzles one’s brain!”
The tension quickly eased when Mr. Locket’s face flushed with surprise. He stepped back a few paces, showing a wounded dignity that seemed like a protest against physical aggression. “Honestly, my dear young man, your attitude comes across as an accusation of bad faith. Do you think I want to steal the damned things?” In response to such a challenge, Peter could only hurriedly assert that he had no rude suspicions—he just wanted a time frame set and assurance that every precaution would be taken against accidents. Mr. Locket acknowledged the fairness of the request, promised to return the items within three days, and, with Peter’s help, finished his little plans for discreetly moving them. When he was ready, his deceitful bag bulging with its contents, he took a lingering glance at the mysterious davenport. “What puzzles me is how they ever got into that thing!”
“There was some concatenation of circumstances that would doubtless seem natural enough if it were explained, but that one would have to remount the stream of time to ascertain. To one course I have definitely made up my mind: not to make any statement or any inquiry at the shop. I simply accept the mystery,” said Peter, rather grandly.
“There were some interconnected events that would definitely seem reasonable if explained, but one would have to look back to figure it out. I’ve definitely decided on one thing: not to make any statements or ask any questions at the shop. I’m just accepting the mystery,” Peter said, rather grandly.
“That would be thought a cheap escape if you were to put it into a story,” Mr. Locket smiled.
"That would seem like a cheap way out if you included it in a story," Mr. Locket smiled.
“Yes, I shouldn’t offer the story to you. I shall be impatient till I see my papers again,” the young man called out, as his visitor hurried downstairs.
“Yes, I shouldn’t share the story with you. I’ll be anxious until I see my papers again,” the young man called out as his visitor rushed downstairs.
That evening, by the last delivery, he received, under the Dover postmark, a letter that was not from Miss Teagle. It was a slightly confused but altogether friendly note, written that morning after breakfast, the ostensible purpose of which was to thank him for the amiability of his visit, to express regret at any appearance the writer might have had of meddling with what didn’t concern her, and to let him know that the evening before, after he had left her, she had in a moment of inspiration got hold of the tail of a really musical idea—a perfect accompaniment for the song he had so kindly given her. She had scrawled, as a specimen, a few bars at the end of her note, mystic, mocking musical signs which had no sense for her correspondent. The whole letter testified to a restless but rather pointless desire to remain in communication with him. In answering her, however, which he did that night before going to bed, it was on this bright possibility of their collaboration, its advantages for the future of each of them, that Baron principally expatiated. He spoke of this future with an eloquence of which he would have defended the sincerity, and drew of it a picture extravagantly rich. The next morning, as he was about to settle himself to tasks for some time terribly neglected, with a sense that after all it was rather a relief not to be sitting so close to Sir Dominick Ferrand, who had become dreadfully distracting; at the very moment at which he habitually addressed his preliminary invocation to the muse, he was agitated by the arrival of a telegram which proved to be an urgent request from Mr. Locket that he would immediately come down and see him. This represented, for poor Baron, whose funds were very low, another morning sacrificed, but somehow it didn’t even occur to him that he might impose his own time upon the editor of the Promiscuous, the keeper of the keys of renown. He had some of the plasticity of the raw contributor. He gave the muse another holiday, feeling she was really ashamed to take it, and in course of time found himself in Mr. Locket’s own chair at Mr. Locket’s own table—so much nobler an expanse than the slippery slope of the davenport—considering with quick intensity, in the white flash of certain words just brought out by his host, the quantity of happiness, of emancipation that might reside in a hundred pounds.
That evening, during the last delivery, he received a letter with a Dover postmark that wasn’t from Miss Teagle. It was a slightly jumbled but entirely friendly note, written that morning after breakfast. The main purpose was to thank him for the kindness of his visit, apologize for any impression the writer might have given of interfering in matters that weren’t her business, and to let him know that the night before, after he had left, she had suddenly grabbed onto the tail of a truly musical idea—a perfect accompaniment for the song he had kindly given her. She had jotted down a few bars at the end of her note, using mysterious, teasing musical symbols that made no sense to him. The entire letter expressed a restless but somewhat aimless desire to stay in touch with him. In his reply, which he wrote that night before bed, Baron focused mainly on the bright possibility of their collaboration and its benefits for both of their futures. He spoke about this future with a passion he would have defended as sincere and painted an extravagantly rich picture of it. The next morning, as he was preparing to dive into tasks he had neglected for a long time, feeling somewhat relieved not to be sitting so close to Sir Dominick Ferrand, who had become terribly distracting, he was interrupted by a telegram. It was an urgent request from Mr. Locket asking him to come down and see him immediately. This meant, for poor Baron, whose finances were very tight, another morning lost, but somehow it didn’t even cross his mind to impose his own schedule on the editor of the Promiscuous, the gatekeeper of fame. He had some of the flexibility of a struggling contributor. He gave the muse another day off, sensing she felt guilty about it, and eventually found himself in Mr. Locket’s chair at Mr. Locket’s table—much grander than the slippery slope of the davenport—intently considering, in the bright flash of certain words just spoken by his host, the amount of happiness and freedom that might come from a hundred pounds.
Yes, that was what it meant: Mr. Locket, in the twenty-four hours, had discovered so much in Sir Dominick’s literary remains that his visitor found him primed with an offer. A hundred pounds would be paid him that day, that minute, and no questions would be either asked or answered. “I take all the risks, I take all the risks,” the editor of the Promiscuous repeated. The letters were out on the table, Mr. Locket was on the hearthrug, like an orator on a platform, and Peter, under the influence of his sudden ultimatum, had dropped, rather weakly, into the seat which happened to be nearest and which, as he became conscious it moved on a pivot, he whirled round so as to enable himself to look at his tempter with an eye intended to be cold. What surprised him most was to find Mr. Locket taking exactly the line about the expediency of publication which he would have expected Mr. Locket not to take. “Hush it all up; a barren scandal, an offence that can’t be remedied, is the thing in the world that least justifies an airing—” some such line as that was the line he would have thought natural to a man whose life was spent in weighing questions of propriety and who had only the other day objected, in the light of this virtue, to a work of the most disinterested art. But the author of that incorruptible masterpiece had put his finger on the place in saying to his interlocutor on the occasion of his last visit that, if given to the world in the pages of the Promiscuous, Sir Dominick’s aberrations would sell the edition. It was not necessary for Mr. Locket to reiterate to his young friend his phrase about their making a sensation. If he wished to purchase the “rights,” as theatrical people said, it was not to protect a celebrated name or to lock them up in a cupboard. That formula of Baron’s covered all the ground, and one edition was a low estimate of the probable performance of the magazine.
Yes, that’s what it meant: Mr. Locket had uncovered so much in Sir Dominick’s writings in just twenty-four hours that his visitor found him ready with an offer. He would pay a hundred pounds that day, that minute, with no questions asked or answered. “I take all the risks, I take all the risks,” the editor of the Promiscuous kept repeating. The letters were spread out on the table, Mr. Locket stood on the hearthrug like an orator on a platform, and Peter, caught off guard by the sudden ultimatum, dropped rather weakly into the nearest seat. As he realized it rotated, he turned around to face his tempter with an expression he hoped would look cold. What surprised him most was seeing Mr. Locket take exactly the position on the publication's appropriateness that he would have thought Mr. Locket wouldn’t take. “Keep it all quiet; a useless scandal, an offense that can’t be fixed, is the last thing that should be aired—” that was the kind of stance he would have expected from a man whose life revolved around weighing questions of propriety and who had only recently objected to a piece of the most selfless art on those grounds. But the creator of that incorruptible masterpiece had hit the nail on the head when he told his listener during their last encounter that, if published in the pages of the Promiscuous, Sir Dominick’s missteps would sell out the edition. Mr. Locket didn’t need to repeat to his young friend his line about making a sensation. If he wanted to buy the “rights,” as theater people say, it wasn’t to protect a famous name or stash them away. That formula from Baron covered all the bases, and one edition was a low estimate of the magazine’s likely performance.
Peter left the letters behind him and, on withdrawing from the editorial presence, took a long walk on the Embankment. His impressions were at war with each other—he was flurried by possibilities of which he yet denied the existence. He had consented to trust Mr. Locket with the papers a day or two longer, till he should have thought out the terms on which he might—in the event of certain occurrences—be induced to dispose of them. A hundred pounds were not this gentleman’s last word, nor perhaps was mere unreasoning intractability Peter’s own. He sighed as he took no note of the pictures made by barges—sighed because it all might mean money. He needed money bitterly; he owed it in disquieting quarters. Mr. Locket had put it before him that he had a high responsibility—that he might vindicate the disfigured truth, contribute a chapter to the history of England. “You haven’t a right to suppress such momentous facts,” the hungry little editor had declared, thinking how the series (he would spread it into three numbers) would be the talk of the town. If Peter had money he might treat himself to ardour, to bliss. Mr. Locket had said, no doubt justly enough, that there were ever so many questions one would have to meet should one venture to play so daring a game. These questions, embarrassments, dangers—the danger, for instance, of the cropping-up of some lurking litigious relative—he would take over unreservedly and bear the brunt of dealing with. It was to be remembered that the papers were discredited, vitiated by their childish pedigree; such a preposterous origin, suggesting, as he had hinted before, the feeble ingenuity of a third-rate novelist, was a thing he should have to place himself at the positive disadvantage of being silent about. He would rather give no account of the matter at all than expose himself to the ridicule that such a story would infallibly excite. Couldn’t one see them in advance, the clever, taunting things the daily and weekly papers would say? Peter Baron had his guileless side, but he felt, as he worried with a stick that betrayed him the granite parapets of the Thames, that he was not such a fool as not to know how Mr. Locket would “work” the mystery of his marvellous find. Nothing could help it on better with the public than the impenetrability of the secret attached to it. If Mr. Locket should only be able to kick up dust enough over the circumstances that had guided his hand his fortune would literally be made. Peter thought a hundred pounds a low bid, yet he wondered how the Promiscuous could bring itself to offer such a sum—so large it loomed in the light of literary remuneration as hitherto revealed to our young man. The explanation of this anomaly was of course that the editor shrewdly saw a dozen ways of getting his money back. There would be in the “sensation,” at a later stage, the making of a book in large type—the book of the hour; and the profits of this scandalous volume or, if one preferred the name, this reconstruction, before an impartial posterity, of a great historical humbug, the sum “down,” in other words, that any lively publisher would give for it, figured vividly in Mr. Locket’s calculations. It was therefore altogether an opportunity of dealing at first hand with the lively publisher that Peter was invited to forego. Peter gave a masterful laugh, rejoicing in his heart that, on the spot, in the repaire he had lately quitted, he had not been tempted by a figure that would have approximately represented the value of his property. It was a good job, he mentally added as he turned his face homeward, that there was so little likelihood of his having to struggle with that particular pressure.
Peter left the letters behind and, after stepping away from the editorial meeting, took a long walk along the Embankment. His thoughts were conflicting—he was flustered by possibilities that he still refused to acknowledge. He had agreed to let Mr. Locket keep the papers for another day or two while he figured out the terms under which he might—if certain situations arose—be persuaded to sell them. A hundred pounds wasn’t the final offer from this gentleman, nor was Peter’s stubbornness entirely justified. He sighed, disregarding the views of the barges along the river—he sighed because it could all represent potential money. He desperately needed cash; he owed it to some unsettling people. Mr. Locket had pointed out that he had a significant responsibility—that he could reveal the obscured truth and add a chapter to England's history. "You can't suppress such crucial facts," the eager little editor had insisted, imagining how the series (he planned to expand it into three issues) would become the talk of the town. If Peter had the money, he could treat himself to passion and happiness. Mr. Locket had rightly mentioned that there were countless questions to address if one dared to play such a risky game. These questions, along with the potential problems and dangers—the risk, for example, of some hidden aggressive relative showing up—he would take on completely and handle. It had to be noted that the papers were discredited, tainted by their childish origins; such a ridiculous background, hinting at the weak creativity of a third-rate novelist, was something he should avoid discussing entirely. He would rather say nothing about it than expose himself to the ridicule that such a story would inevitably provoke. Couldn't one already picture the clever, mocking comments the daily and weekly papers would make? Peter Baron had his naive side, but he felt, as he poked the solid granite parapets of the Thames with a stick, that he wasn't foolish enough to be unaware of how Mr. Locket would exploit the mystery of his incredible find. Nothing would capture the public’s attention better than the enigma surrounding it. If Mr. Locket could stir up enough controversy about the circumstances that led to this discovery, his fortune would be secured. Peter thought a hundred pounds was a low offer, yet he wondered how the Promiscuous could afford to propose such a sum—so large compared to the literary compensation he had known so far. The answer to this oddity was that the editor smartly saw numerous ways to recoup his investment. There would eventually be a "sensation," leading to a book in large type—the book of the moment; and the profits from this scandalous volume or, if one preferred, this reconstruction for future generations of a great historical scam, the initial payment assumed, in other words, that any eager publisher would offer for it, loomed large in Mr. Locket's plans. Therefore, it was entirely an opportunity to engage directly with a lively publisher that Peter was invited to pass up. Peter let out a hearty laugh, feeling relieved that, right there in the place he had just left, he hadn't been tempted by an amount that would have roughly represented the value of his property. It was a good thing, he mentally added as he turned his face homeward, that there was such little chance he would have to deal with that specific pressure.
VI.
When, half an hour later, he approached Jersey Villas, he noticed that the house-door was open; then, as he reached the gate, saw it make a frame for an unexpected presence. Mrs. Ryves, in her bonnet and jacket, looked out from it as if she were expecting something—as if she had been passing to and fro to watch. Yet when he had expressed to her that it was a delightful welcome she replied that she had only thought there might possibly be a cab in sight. He offered to go and look for one, upon which it appeared that after all she was not, as yet at least, in need. He went back with her into her sitting-room, where she let him know that within a couple of days she had seen clearer what was best; she had determined to quit Jersey Villas and had come up to take away her things, which she had just been packing and getting together.
When, half an hour later, he arrived at Jersey Villas, he noticed that the front door was open; then, as he reached the gate, he saw it framing an unexpected sight. Mrs. Ryves, in her bonnet and jacket, looked out as if she was waiting for something—as if she had been pacing back and forth to keep watch. Yet when he told her it was a lovely welcome, she replied that she had only thought there might possibly be a cab in sight. He offered to go look for one, but it turned out that she wasn’t in need of one just yet. He went back with her to her sitting room, where she informed him that after a couple of days she had figured out what was best; she had decided to leave Jersey Villas and had come to collect her things, which she had just been packing up.
“I wrote you last night a charming letter in answer to yours,” Baron said. “You didn’t mention in yours that you were coming up.”
“I wrote you a lovely letter last night in response to yours,” the Baron said. “You didn’t mention in yours that you were coming.”
“It wasn’t your answer that brought me. It hadn’t arrived when I came away.”
“It wasn’t your answer that made me come. It hadn’t arrived when I left.”
“You’ll see when you get back that my letter is charming.”
“You’ll see when you get back that my letter is pretty charming.”
“I daresay.” Baron had observed that the room was not, as she had intimated, in confusion—Mrs. Ryves’s preparations for departure were not striking. She saw him look round and, standing in front of the fireless grate with her hands behind her, she suddenly asked: “Where have you come from now?”
“I would say.” Baron noticed that the room was not, as she had suggested, in disarray—Mrs. Ryves’s plans for leaving were not particularly noticeable. She saw him glance around and, standing in front of the cold fireplace with her hands behind her, she suddenly asked, “Where did you come from this time?”
“From an interview with a literary friend.”
“From an interview with a literary friend.”
“What are you concocting between you?”
“What are you mixing up between you two?”
“Nothing at all. We’ve fallen out—we don’t agree.”
“Nothing at all. We've fallen out—we don't see eye to eye.”
“Is he a publisher?”
"Is he a publisher?"
“He’s an editor.”
"He's an editor."
“Well, I’m glad you don’t agree. I don’t know what he wants, but, whatever it is, don’t do it.”
“Well, I’m glad you don’t agree. I don’t know what he wants, but whatever it is, don’t do it.”
“He must do what I want!” said Baron.
“He has to do what I want!” said Baron.
“And what’s that?”
"And what's that?"
“Oh, I’ll tell you when he has done it!” Baron begged her to let him hear the “musical idea” she had mentioned in her letter; on which she took off her hat and jacket and, seating herself at her piano, gave him, with a sentiment of which the very first notes thrilled him, the accompaniment of his song. She phrased the words with her sketchy sweetness, and he sat there as if he had been held in a velvet vise, throbbing with the emotion, irrecoverable ever after in its freshness, of the young artist in the presence for the first time of “production”—the proofs of his book, the hanging of his picture, the rehearsal of his play. When she had finished he asked again for the same delight, and then for more music and for more; it did him such a world of good, kept him quiet and safe, smoothed out the creases of his spirit. She dropped her own experiments and gave him immortal things, and he lounged there, pacified and charmed, feeling the mean little room grow large and vague and happy possibilities come back. Abruptly, at the piano, she called out to him: “Those papers of yours—the letters you found—are not in the house?”
“Oh, I’ll let you know when he’s done it!” Baron pleaded with her to share the “musical idea” she had mentioned in her letter; so she took off her hat and jacket, sat down at her piano, and offered him the accompaniment for his song, the very first notes sending a thrill through him. She delivered the words with her delicate sweetness, and he sat there as if held in a soft grip, overwhelmed with the indescribable emotion that always lingered in the freshness of a young artist experiencing “production” for the first time—whether it was the proofs of his book, the display of his painting, or the rehearsal of his play. Once she finished, he asked for the same pleasure again, then for more music, endlessly; it brought him so much joy, kept him calm and secure, and smoothed out the wrinkles in his spirit. She set aside her own works and shared with him timeless pieces, and he relaxed there, comforted and enchanted, feeling the small, shabby room become spacious and filled with happy possibilities. Suddenly, at the piano, she called out to him: “Those papers of yours—the letters you found—aren’t in the house?”
“No, they’re not in the house.”
“No, they’re not home.”
“I was sure of it! No matter—it’s all right!” she added. She herself was pacified—trouble was a false note. Later he was on the point of asking her how she knew the objects she had mentioned were not in the house; but he let it pass. The subject was a profitless riddle—a puzzle that grew grotesquely bigger, like some monstrosity seen in the darkness, as one opened one’s eyes to it. He closed his eyes—he wanted another vision. Besides, she had shown him that she had extraordinary senses—her explanation would have been stranger than the fact. Moreover they had other things to talk about, in particular the question of her putting off her return to Dover till the morrow and dispensing meanwhile with the valuable protection of Sidney. This was indeed but another face of the question of her dining with him somewhere that evening (where else should she dine?)—accompanying him, for instance, just for an hour of Bohemia, in their deadly respectable lives, to a jolly little place in Soho. Mrs. Ryves declined to have her life abused, but in fact, at the proper moment, at the jolly little place, to which she did accompany him—it dealt in macaroni and Chianti—the pair put their elbows on the crumpled cloth and, face to face, with their little emptied coffee-cups pushed away and the young man’s cigarette lighted by her command, became increasingly confidential. They went afterwards to the theatre, in cheap places, and came home in “busses” and under umbrellas.
“I was sure of it! No matter—it’s all good!” she added. She was feeling better—trouble was just a distraction. Later, he almost asked her how she knew the things she had mentioned weren’t in the house, but he decided to let it go. The topic was a pointless mystery—a puzzle that seemed to grow larger, like an unsettling figure in the dark, as one tried to focus on it. He shut his eyes—he wanted a different vision. Plus, she had shown him that she had exceptional intuition—her explanation would have been stranger than the actual fact. Besides, they had other things to discuss, particularly whether she would postpone her return to Dover until the next day and do without the helpful protection of Sidney in the meantime. This was really just another way of asking about her dining with him somewhere that evening (where else would she dine?)—joining him, for instance, just for an hour of freedom from their otherwise dull lives, at a fun little spot in Soho. Mrs. Ryves refused to let her life be wasted, but in reality, at the right moment, at the fun little spot—which served macaroni and Chianti—she went with him, and they put their elbows on the wrinkled tablecloth, facing each other, with their empty coffee cups pushed aside and the young man’s cigarette lit at her request, becoming increasingly open. Afterwards, they went to the theater, in inexpensive seats, and returned home on buses and under umbrellas.
On the way back Peter Baron turned something over in his mind as he had never turned anything before; it was the question of whether, at the end, she would let him come into her sitting-room for five minutes. He felt on this point a passion of suspense and impatience, and yet for what would it be but to tell her how poor he was? This was literally the moment to say it, so supremely depleted had the hour of Bohemia left him. Even Bohemia was too expensive, and yet in the course of the day his whole temper on the subject of certain fitnesses had changed. At Jersey Villas (it was near midnight, and Mrs. Ryves, scratching a light for her glimmering taper, had said: “Oh, yes, come in for a minute if you like!”), in her precarious parlour, which was indeed, after the brilliances of the evening, a return to ugliness and truth, she let him stand while he explained that he had certainly everything in the way of fame and fortune still to gain, but that youth and love and faith and energy—to say nothing of her supreme dearness—were all on his side. Why, if one’s beginnings were rough, should one add to the hardness of the conditions by giving up the dream which, if she would only hear him out, would make just the blessed difference? Whether Mrs. Ryves heard him out or not is a circumstance as to which this chronicle happens to be silent; but after he had got possession of both her hands and breathed into her face for a moment all the intensity of his tenderness—in the relief and joy of utterance he felt it carry him like a rising flood—she checked him with better reasons, with a cold, sweet afterthought in which he felt there was something deep. Her procrastinating head-shake was prettier than ever, yet it had never meant so many fears and pains—impossibilities and memories, independences and pieties, and a sort of uncomplaining ache for the ruin of a friendship that had been happy. She had liked him—if she hadn’t she wouldn’t have let him think so!—but she protested that she had not, in the odious vulgar sense, “encouraged” him. Moreover she couldn’t talk of such things in that place, at that hour, and she begged him not to make her regret her good-nature in staying over. There were peculiarities in her position, considerations insurmountable. She got rid of him with kind and confused words, and afterwards, in the dull, humiliated night, he felt that he had been put in his place. Women in her situation, women who after having really loved and lost, usually lived on into the new dawns in which old ghosts steal away. But there was something in his whimsical neighbour that struck him as terribly invulnerable.
On the way back, Peter Baron was thinking about something like never before; it was the question of whether, in the end, she would let him into her sitting room for five minutes. He felt an intense mix of suspense and impatience over this, and yet why would it be, except to tell her how poor he was? This was definitely the moment to say it, as he was left feeling so drained after the evening in Bohemia. Even Bohemia had been too expensive, and yet throughout the day, his whole attitude about certain expectations had shifted. At Jersey Villas (it was close to midnight, and Mrs. Ryves, lighting her flickering candle, had said: “Oh, yes, come in for a minute if you like!”), in her shabby living room, which felt like a return to reality after the glamour of the night, she let him stand while he explained that he still had everything to gain in fame and fortune, but that youth, love, faith, and energy—let alone her tremendous value—were all on his side. Why should one’s rough beginnings be made harder by giving up the dream that, if she would just listen to him, could make all the difference? Whether Mrs. Ryves listened or not isn’t something this story reveals; but after he took both her hands and breathed his deep tenderness into her face, feeling overwhelmed with relief and joy as he spoke, she stopped him with more practical reasons and a calm, sweet afterthought that felt profound. Her hesitant shake of the head was prettier than ever, but it now carried so many fears and pains—impossibilities, memories, independence, and the quiet sadness over the loss of a once-happy friendship. She had liked him—if she hadn't, she wouldn’t have let him believe so!—but she insisted that she had not, in the unpleasant, common way, “encouraged” him. Besides, she couldn’t talk about such things at that moment, in that place, and she asked him not to make her regret being kind by staying a bit longer. There were complexities in her situation, insurmountable considerations. She ended the conversation with kind but confused words, and afterward, in the dull, humiliated night, he felt as though he had been put in his place. Women in her position, those who have really loved and lost, typically move on into new dawns where old memories fade away. But there was something about his quirky neighbor that struck him as incredibly unshakeable.
VII.
“I’ve had time to look a little further into what we’re prepared to do, and I find the case is one in which I should consider the advisability of going to an extreme length,” said Mr. Locket. Jersey Villas the next morning had had the privilege of again receiving the editor of the Promiscuous, and he sat once more at the davenport, where the bone of contention, in the shape of a large, loose heap of papers that showed how much they had been handled, was placed well in view. “We shall see our way to offering you three hundred, but we shouldn’t, I must positively assure you, see it a single step further.”
I've had a chance to think a bit more about what we’re willing to do, and I believe it’s a situation where I should think about the wisdom of going to great lengths,” said Mr. Locket. The next morning, Jersey Villas had the honor of once again welcoming the editor of the Promiscuous, who sat once more at the davenport, where the main issue, in the form of a large, disorganized pile of papers that had obviously been frequently handled, was prominently displayed. “We’re prepared to offer you three hundred, but I need to make it absolutely clear that we won’t go a single step beyond that.”
Peter Baron, in his dressing-gown and slippers, with his hands in his pockets, crept softly about the room, repeating, below his breath and with inflections that for his own sake he endeavoured to make humorous: “Three hundred—three hundred.” His state of mind was far from hilarious, for he felt poor and sore and disappointed; but he wanted to prove to himself that he was gallant—was made, in general and in particular, of undiscourageable stuff. The first thing he had been aware of on stepping into his front room was that a four-wheeled cab, with Mrs. Ryves’s luggage upon it, stood at the door of No. 3. Permitting himself, behind his curtain, a pardonable peep, he saw the mistress of his thoughts come out of the house, attended by Mrs. Bundy, and take her place in the modest vehicle. After this his eyes rested for a long time on the sprigged cotton back of the landlady, who kept bobbing at the window of the cab an endlessly moralising old head. Mrs. Ryves had really taken flight—he had made Jersey Villas impossible for her—but Mrs. Bundy, with a magnanimity unprecedented in the profession, seemed to express a belief in the purity of her motives. Baron felt that his own separation had been, for the present at least, effected; every instinct of delicacy prompted him to stand back.
Peter Baron, in his robe and slippers, with his hands in his pockets, quietly moved around the room, mumbling to himself with a tone he tried to make funny: “Three hundred—three hundred.” His mood was far from cheerful; he felt poor, hurt, and disappointed. But he wanted to convince himself that he was brave—made of resilient stuff, both generally and specifically. The first thing he noticed when he stepped into his living room was a cab with Mrs. Ryves’s luggage sitting at the door of No. 3. Allowing himself a brief peek from behind the curtain, he saw the woman he was thinking about come out of the house, accompanied by Mrs. Bundy, and get into the modest cab. After that, he spent a long time staring at the patterned cotton back of the landlady, who kept leaning into the cab with her endlessly moralizing expression. Mrs. Ryves had really left—he had made it impossible for her to stay at Jersey Villas—but Mrs. Bundy, with an unprecedented kindness for her profession, seemed to believe in the sincerity of her motives. Baron felt that, for now at least, his own separation had been finalized; every instinct told him to hold back.
Mr. Locket talked a long time, and Peter Baron listened and waited. He reflected that his willingness to listen would probably excite hopes in his visitor—hopes which he himself was ready to contemplate without a scruple. He felt no pity for Mr. Locket and had no consideration for his suspense or for his possible illusions; he only felt sick and forsaken and in want of comfort and of money. Yet it was a kind of outrage to his dignity to have the knife held to his throat, and he was irritated above all by the ground on which Mr. Locket put the question—the ground of a service rendered to historical truth. It might be—he wasn’t clear; it might be—the question was deep, too deep, probably, for his wisdom; at any rate he had to control himself not to interrupt angrily such dry, interested palaver, the false voice of commerce and of cant. He stared tragically out of the window and saw the stupid rain begin to fall; the day was duller even than his own soul, and Jersey Villas looked so sordidly hideous that it was no wonder Mrs. Ryves couldn’t endure them. Hideous as they were he should have to tell Mrs. Bundy in the course of the day that he was obliged to seek humbler quarters. Suddenly he interrupted Mr. Locket; he observed to him: “I take it that if I should make you this concession the hospitality of the Promiscuous would be by that very fact unrestrictedly secured to me.”
Mr. Locket talked for a long time, and Peter Baron listened and waited. He thought that his willingness to listen would probably raise hopes in his visitor—hopes that he himself was willing to entertain without any guilt. He felt no sympathy for Mr. Locket and didn't care about his anxiety or possible misunderstandings; he just felt sick, abandoned, and in need of comfort and money. Still, it felt like an insult to his dignity to have the knife held to his throat, and he was especially annoyed by the reasoning Mr. Locket used—the idea of serving historical truth. It could be—it wasn’t clear; it could be—the question was profound, probably too profound for his understanding; anyway, he had to hold back from angrily interrupting such dry, self-interested chatter, the false tone of business and empty talk. He stared dramatically out the window and noticed the stupid rain starting to fall; the day was duller even than his own spirit, and Jersey Villas looked so grimly ugly that it was no surprise Mrs. Ryves couldn’t stand them. Ugly as they were, he would have to tell Mrs. Bundy today that he needed to find more modest accommodations. Suddenly, he cut in on Mr. Locket; he said to him, “I assume that if I make you this concession, the hospitality of the Promiscuous will, by that very fact, be fully guaranteed to me.”
Mr. Locket stared. “Hospitality—secured?” He thumbed the proposition as if it were a hard peach.
Mr. Locket stared. “Hospitality—secured?” He thumbed the proposal as if it were a ripe peach.
“I mean that of course you wouldn’t—in courtsey, in gratitude—keep on declining my things.”
“I mean that of course you wouldn’t—in courtesy, in gratitude—keep turning down my offers.”
“I should give them my best attention—as I’ve always done in the past.”
“I should give them my full attention—as I always have before.”
Peter Baron hesitated. It was a case in which there would have seemed to be some chance for the ideally shrewd aspirant in such an advantage as he possessed; but after a moment the blood rushed into his face with the shame of the idea of pleading for his productions in the name of anything but their merit. It was as if he had stupidly uttered evil of them. Nevertheless be added the interrogation:
Peter Baron hesitated. It seemed like there might be an opportunity for someone as clever as he was; but after a moment, he felt his face flush with shame at the thought of advocating for his work for any reason other than its quality. It was as if he had foolishly spoken ill of it. Still, he added the question:
“Would you for instance publish my little story?”
“Would you, for example, publish my short story?”
“The one I read (and objected to some features of) the other day? Do you mean—a—with the alteration?” Mr. Locket continued.
“The one I read (and didn’t agree with some parts of) the other day? Do you mean—with the changes?” Mr. Locket continued.
“Oh, no, I mean utterly without it. The pages you want altered contain, as I explained to you very lucidly, I think, the very raison d’être of the work, and it would therefore, it seems to me, be an imbecility of the first magnitude to cancel them.” Peter had really renounced all hope that his critic would understand what he meant, but, under favour of circumstances, he couldn’t forbear to taste the luxury, which probably never again would come within his reach, of being really plain, for one wild moment, with an editor.
“Oh, no, I mean completely without it. The pages you want changed contain, as I explained to you very clearly, I think, the very raison d’être of the work, and it would therefore, in my opinion, be a huge mistake to cancel them.” Peter had truly given up hope that his critic would understand what he meant, but, given the circumstances, he couldn't resist the rare opportunity, which probably would never come his way again, to be completely straightforward, for one brief moment, with an editor.
Mr. Locket gave a constrained smile. “Think of the scandal, Mr. Baron.”
Mr. Locket forced a smile. “Consider the scandal, Mr. Baron.”
“But isn’t this other scandal just what you’re going in for?”
“But isn’t this other scandal exactly what you’re after?”
“It will be a great public service.”
“It’s going to be a huge benefit to the community.”
“You mean it will be a big scandal, whereas my poor story would be a very small one, and that it’s only out of a big one that money’s to be made.”
“You're saying it’ll be a huge scandal, while my little story would just be a minor one, and that money is only made from the big ones.”
Mr. Locket got up—he too had his dignity to vindicate. “Such a sum as I offer you ought really to be an offset against all claims.”
Mr. Locket stood up—he also had his dignity to defend. “An amount like the one I’m offering should really settle all claims.”
“Very good—I don’t mean to make any, since you don’t really care for what I write. I take note of your offer,” Peter pursued, “and I engage to give you to-night (in a few words left by my own hand at your house) my absolutely definite and final reply.”
“Very good—I don’t intend to make any, since you don’t really care about what I write. I’m noting your offer,” Peter continued, “and I promise to give you tonight (in a few words I’ll leave at your house) my absolutely definite and final reply.”
Mr. Locket’s movements, as he hovered near the relics of the eminent statesman, were those of some feathered parent fluttering over a threatened nest. If he had brought his huddled brood back with him this morning it was because he had felt sure enough of closing the bargain to be able to be graceful. He kept a glittering eye on the papers and remarked that he was afraid that before leaving them he must elicit some assurance that in the meanwhile Peter would not place them in any other hands. Peter, at this, gave a laugh of harsher cadence than he intended, asking, justly enough, on what privilege his visitor rested such a demand and why he himself was disqualified from offering his wares to the highest bidder. “Surely you wouldn’t hawk such things about?” cried Mr. Locket; but before Baron had time to retort cynically he added: “I’ll publish your little story.”
Mr. Locket’s movements, as he hovered near the relics of the famous statesman, resembled a worried parent bird fluttering over a threatened nest. If he had brought his gathered group back with him this morning, it was because he felt confident enough about finalizing the deal to be polite. He kept a sharp eye on the papers and mentioned that he was concerned that before leaving, he needed to get some assurance that Peter wouldn’t pass them to anyone else in the meantime. Peter chuckled, though a bit more harshly than he meant, and fairly asked what made Mr. Locket think he had the right to demand that and why he couldn’t offer his goods to the highest bidder. “Surely you wouldn’t try to sell such things around?” exclaimed Mr. Locket; but before Baron could respond with sarcasm, he added, “I’ll share your little story publicly.”
“Oh, thank you!”
“Thanks a lot!”
“I’ll publish anything you’ll send me,” Mr. Locket continued, as he went out. Peter had before this virtually given his word that for the letters he would treat only with the Promiscuous.
“I’ll publish anything you send me,” Mr. Locket continued as he left. Peter had already basically promised that he would only deal with the Promiscuous for the letters.
The young man passed, during a portion of the rest of the day, the strangest hours of his life. Yet he thought of them afterwards not as a phase of temptation, though they had been full of the emotion that accompanies an intense vision of alternatives. The struggle was already over; it seemed to him that, poor as he was, he was not poor enough to take Mr. Locket’s money. He looked at the opposed courses with the self-possession of a man who has chosen, but this self-possession was in itself the most exquisite of excitements. It was really a high revulsion and a sort of noble pity. He seemed indeed to have his finger upon the pulse of history and to be in the secret of the gods. He had them all in his hand, the tablets and the scales and the torch. He couldn’t keep a character together, but he might easily pull one to pieces. That would be “creative work” of a kind—he could reconstruct the character less pleasingly, could show an unknown side of it. Mr. Locket had had a good deal to say about responsibility; and responsibility in truth sat there with him all the morning, while he revolved in his narrow cage and, watching the crude spring rain on the windows, thought of the dismalness to which, at Dover, Mrs. Ryves was going back. This influence took in fact the form, put on the physiognomy of poor Sir Dominick Ferrand; he was at present as perceptible in it, as coldly and strangely personal, as if he had been a haunting ghost and had risen beside his own old hearthstone. Our friend was accustomed to his company and indeed had spent so many hours in it of late, following him up at the museum and comparing his different portraits, engravings and lithographs, in which there seemed to be conscious, pleading eyes for the betrayer, that their queer intimacy had grown as close as an embrace. Sir Dominick was very dumb, but he was terrible in his dependence, and Peter would not have encouraged him by so much curiosity nor reassured him by so much deference had it not been for the young man’s complete acceptance of the impossibility of getting out of a tight place by exposing an individual. It didn’t matter that the individual was dead; it didn’t matter that he was dishonest. Peter felt him sufficiently alive to suffer; he perceived the rectification of history so conscientiously desired by Mr. Locket to be somehow for himself not an imperative task. It had come over him too definitely that in a case where one’s success was to hinge upon an act of extradition it would minister most to an easy conscience to let the success go. No, no—even should he be starving he couldn’t make money out of Sir Dominick’s disgrace. He was almost surprised at the violence of the horror with which, as he shuffled mournfully about, the idea of any such profit inspired him. What was Sir Dominick to him after all? He wished he had never come across him.
The young man spent parts of the rest of the day experiencing the strangest hours of his life. Yet, he later remembered them not as a moment of temptation, even though they were filled with the emotions that come with a vivid glimpse of alternatives. The struggle was already over; he felt that, as poor as he was, he wasn't poor enough to accept Mr. Locket’s money. He viewed the opposing choices with the calmness of someone who has made a decision, but this calmness was, in itself, the most exquisite thrill. It was really a deep revulsion and a kind of noble pity. He felt like he had his finger on the pulse of history and was in on the secret of the gods. He held everything— the tablets, the scales, and the torch. He couldn’t maintain a character, but he could easily tear one apart. That could be a kind of “creative work”—he could reconstruct the character in a less flattering way, showing a side of it that was unknown. Mr. Locket had talked a lot about responsibility; in truth, responsibility was there with him all morning, as he paced in his confined space, watching the harsh spring rain on the windows, thinking about the gloom that Mrs. Ryves was returning to in Dover. This influence took the form, took on the face of poor Sir Dominick Ferrand; he was almost as evidently present in it, as coldly and strangely personal, as if he were a haunting ghost rising beside his own old hearth. Our friend was used to his presence and had spent so many hours with it lately, tracking him at the museum and comparing his various portraits, engravings, and lithographs, where there seemed to be conscious, pleading eyes for the betrayer, that their odd intimacy had grown as close as an embrace. Sir Dominick was very silent, but he was terrifying in his dependence, and Peter wouldn’t have fed his curiosity so much or reassured him with so much respect if it hadn’t been for the young man’s complete acceptance of the impossibility of escaping a tough situation by exposing an individual. It didn’t make a difference that the individual was dead; it didn’t matter that he was dishonest. Peter sensed him as sufficiently alive to suffer; he understood that the historical correction Mr. Locket so earnestly desired was, for him, not a necessary task. It had dawned on him too clearly that in a situation where one’s success depended on revealing someone, it would serve his conscience better to let the success go. No, no—even if he were starving, he couldn’t profit from Sir Dominick’s disgrace. He was almost surprised by the intense horror that the thought of any such profit stirred in him as he shuffled mournfully about. What was Sir Dominick to him, after all? He wished he had never encountered him.
In one of his brooding pauses at the window—the window out of which never again apparently should he see Mrs. Ryves glide across the little garden with the step for which he had liked her from the first—he became aware that the rain was about to intermit and the sun to make some grudging amends. This was a sign that he might go out; he had a vague perception that there were things to be done. He had work to look for, and a cheaper lodging, and a new idea (every idea he had ever cherished had left him), in addition to which the promised little word was to be dropped at Mr. Locket’s door. He looked at his watch and was surprised at the hour, for he had nothing but a heartache to show for so much time. He would have to dress quickly, but as he passed to his bedroom his eye was caught by the little pyramid of letters which Mr. Locket had constructed on his davenport. They startled him and, staring at them, he stopped for an instant, half-amused, half-annoyed at their being still in existence. He had so completely destroyed them in spirit that he had taken the act for granted, and he was now reminded of the orderly stages of which an intention must consist to be sincere. Baron went at the papers with all his sincerity, and at his empty grate (where there lately had been no fire and he had only to remove a horrible ornament of tissue-paper dear to Mrs. Bundy) he burned the collection with infinite method. It made him feel happier to watch the worst pages turn to illegible ashes—if happiness be the right word to apply to his sense, in the process, of something so crisp and crackling that it suggested the death-rustle of bank-notes.
In one of his deep moments at the window—the window from which he would apparently never again see Mrs. Ryves glide across the small garden with the walk that had attracted him from the beginning—he realized that the rain was about to stop and the sun was reluctantly going to show itself. This was a sign that he could go outside; he had a vague feeling that there were things to be done. He needed to look for work, find a cheaper place to live, and come up with a new idea (every idea he'd ever cherished had left him), and on top of that, he was supposed to drop off a small message at Mr. Locket’s door. He looked at his watch and was surprised by the time, having nothing but heartache to show for all those hours. He knew he had to get ready quickly, but as he walked to his bedroom, his eye was caught by the little stack of letters that Mr. Locket had piled up on his desk. They surprised him, and as he stared at them, he paused for a moment, feeling half-amused and half-annoyed that they still existed. He had mentally destroyed them so completely that he took it for granted, and this reminded him of the orderly steps that an intention must go through to be genuine. Baron approached the papers with complete sincerity, and at his empty fireplace (where there hadn't been a fire recently and he only needed to get rid of an awful tissue-paper ornament that Mrs. Bundy had liked), he burned the collection with meticulous care. Watching the worst pages turn to unreadable ashes made him feel happier—if “happier” was the right word for his feeling during this process, as it was something so crisp and crackling that it reminded him of the sound of money.
When ten minutes later he came back into his sitting-room, he seemed to himself oddly, unexpectedly in the presence of a bigger view. It was as if some interfering mass had been so displaced that he could see more sky and more country. Yet the opposite houses were naturally still there, and if the grimy little place looked lighter it was doubtless only because the rain had indeed stopped and the sun was pouring in. Peter went to the window to open it to the altered air, and in doing so beheld at the garden gate the humble “growler” in which a few hours before he had seen Mrs. Ryves take her departure. It was unmistakable—he remembered the knock-kneed white horse; but this made the fact that his friend’s luggage no longer surmounted it only the more mystifying. Perhaps the cabman had already removed the luggage—he was now on his box smoking the short pipe that derived relish from inaction paid for. As Peter turned into the room again his ears caught a knock at his own door, a knock explained, as soon as he had responded, by the hard breathing of Mrs. Bundy.
When he came back into his living room ten minutes later, he felt strangely and unexpectedly like he was seeing a wider view. It was as if some obstructive mass had shifted, allowing him to see more sky and more of the countryside. Still, the neighboring houses were naturally there, and if the dull little place appeared brighter, it was probably just because the rain had stopped and the sun was shining in. Peter went to the window to let in the fresh air, and as he did, he noticed the humble taxi at the garden gate, the same one he had seen Mrs. Ryves leave in just a few hours earlier. It was unmistakable—he remembered the knock-kneed white horse; but the fact that his friend's luggage was no longer on it only added to the mystery. Maybe the cab driver had already taken the luggage away—he was now sitting on his box, smoking a short pipe that tasted better when he was idle. As Peter turned back into the room, he heard a knock at his door, which was soon explained by the heavy breathing of Mrs. Bundy as soon as he answered.
“Please, sir, it’s to say she’ve come back.”
“Please, sir, it means she’s come back.”
“What has she come back for?” Baron’s question sounded ungracious, but his heartache had given another throb, and he felt a dread of another wound. It was like a practical joke.
“What did she come back for?” The baron's question seemed harsh, but his heart ached again, and he felt a fear of another blow. It felt like a cruel joke.
“I think it’s for you, sir,” said Mrs. Bundy. “She’ll see you for a moment, if you’ll be so good, in the old place.”
“I think it’s for you, sir,” said Mrs. Bundy. “She’ll see you for a moment, if you don’t mind, in the usual spot.”
Peter followed his hostess downstairs, and Mrs. Bundy ushered him, with her company flourish, into the apartment she had fondly designated.
Peter followed his hostess downstairs, and Mrs. Bundy led him, with her usual flair, into the apartment she had affectionately named.
“I went away this morning, and I’ve only returned for an instant,” said Mrs. Ryves, as soon as Mrs. Bundy had closed the door. He saw that she was different now; something had happened that had made her indulgent.
“I went out this morning, and I’ve just come back for a moment,” said Mrs. Ryves, as soon as Mrs. Bundy had closed the door. He noticed that she was different now; something had happened that had made her more lenient.
“Have you been all the way to Dover and back?”
“Have you been to Dover and back?”
“No, but I’ve been to Victoria. I’ve left my luggage there—I’ve been driving about.”
“No, but I’ve been to Victoria. I left my luggage there—I’ve been driving around.”
“I hope you’ve enjoyed it.”
"I hope you enjoyed it."
“Very much. I’ve been to see Mr. Morrish.”
“Absolutely. I’ve gone to see Mr. Morrish.”
“Mr. Morrish?”
"Mr. Morrish?"
“The musical publisher. I showed him our song. I played it for him, and he’s delighted with it. He declares it’s just the thing. He has given me fifty pounds. I think he believes in us,” Mrs. Ryves went on, while Baron stared at the wonder—too sweet to be safe, it seemed to him as yet—of her standing there again before him and speaking of what they had in common. “Fifty pounds! fifty pounds!” she exclaimed, fluttering at him her happy cheque. She had come back, the first thing, to tell him, and of course his share of the money would be the half. She was rosy, jubilant, natural, she chattered like a happy woman. She said they must do more, ever so much more. Mr. Morrish had practically promised he would take anything that was as good as that. She had kept her cab because she was going to Dover; she couldn’t leave the others alone. It was a vehicle infirm and inert, but Baron, after a little, appreciated its pace, for she had consented to his getting in with her and driving, this time in earnest, to Victoria. She had only come to tell him the good news—she repeated this assurance more than once. They talked of it so profoundly that it drove everything else for the time out of his head—his duty to Mr. Locket, the remarkable sacrifice he had just achieved, and even the odd coincidence, matching with the oddity of all the others, of her having reverted to the house again, as if with one of her famous divinations, at the very moment the trumpery papers, the origin really of their intimacy, had ceased to exist. But she, on her side, also had evidently forgotten the trumpery papers: she never mentioned them again, and Peter Baron never boasted of what he had done with them. He was silent for a while, from curiosity to see if her fine nerves had really given her a hint; and then later, when it came to be a question of his permanent attitude, he was silent, prodigiously, religiously, tremulously silent, in consequence of an extraordinary conversation that he had with her.
“The music publisher. I showed him our song. I played it for him, and he loved it. He said it’s exactly what he was looking for. He gave me fifty pounds. I think he really believes in us,” Mrs. Ryves continued, while Baron stared at the amazing—too good to be true, it seemed to him—sight of her standing there again and talking about what they shared. “Fifty pounds! Fifty pounds!” she exclaimed, waving her happy check at him. She had come back, first thing, to tell him, and of course his share of the money would be half. She was glowing, ecstatic, and natural; she chatted like a joyful woman. She said they needed to do more, a lot more. Mr. Morrish had practically promised to take anything as good as that. She had kept her cab because she was going to Dover; she couldn’t leave the others alone. It was an old, sluggish vehicle, but Baron, after a bit, appreciated its speed, as she agreed to let him hop in with her and drive, this time for real, to Victoria. She had only come to share the good news—she repeated this assurance several times. They discussed it so deeply that it pushed everything else out of his mind for the moment—his obligation to Mr. Locket, the remarkable sacrifice he had just made, and even the strange coincidence, aligning with all the other oddities, of her returning to the house just when the worthless papers, which had really brought them together, had ceased to exist. But she, for her part, also seemed to have forgotten the worthless papers: she never brought them up again, and Peter Baron never boasted about what he had done with them. He was quiet for a while, curious to see if her keen intuition had really given her a clue; and later, when it came to his long-term attitude, he remained deeply, remarkably, reverently silent, as a result of an extraordinary conversation he had with her.
This conversation took place at Dover, when he went down to give her the money for which, at Mr. Morrish’s bank, he had exchanged the cheque she had left with him. That cheque, or rather certain things it represented, had made somehow all the difference in their relations. The difference was huge, and Baron could think of nothing but this confirmed vision of their being able to work fruitfully together that would account for so rapid a change. She didn’t talk of impossibilities now—she didn’t seem to want to stop him off; only when, the day following his arrival at Dover with the fifty pounds (he had after all to agree to share them with her—he couldn’t expect her to take a present of money from him), he returned to the question over which they had had their little scene the night they dined together—on this occasion (he had brought a portmanteau and he was staying) she mentioned that there was something very particular she had it on her conscience to tell him before letting him commit himself. There dawned in her face as she approached the subject a light of warning that frightened him; it was charged with something so strange that for an instant he held his breath. This flash of ugly possibilities passed however, and it was with the gesture of taking still tenderer possession of her, checked indeed by the grave, important way she held up a finger, that he answered: “Tell me everything—tell me!”
This conversation happened in Dover when he went to give her the money for which he had exchanged the check she had left with him at Mr. Morrish’s bank. That check, or rather the things it represented, had somehow changed everything in their relationship. The difference was massive, and Baron could only think about this newfound potential for them to work productively together as the reason for such a quick shift. She wasn't talking about impossibilities anymore—she didn’t seem to want to shut him down; only when he returned the day after arriving in Dover with the fifty pounds (he had to agree to share it with her—he couldn't expect her to just take money from him), did he revisit the subject they had their little scene over the night they dined together. This time (he had brought a suitcase and was staying), she mentioned there was something very important on her mind that she needed to tell him before he made any commitments. A warning light appeared on her face as she approached the topic, and it scared him; it was filled with something so unusual that for a moment he held his breath. However, this flash of unsettling possibilities passed, and with the urge to take even more tender possession of her, although held back by the serious way she raised a finger, he replied: “Tell me everything—please, tell me!”
“You must know what I am—who I am; you must know especially what I’m not! There’s a name for it, a hideous, cruel name. It’s not my fault! Others have known, I’ve had to speak of it—it has made a great difference in my life. Surely you must have guessed!” she went on, with the thinnest quaver of irony, letting him now take her hand, which felt as cold as her hard duty. “Don’t you see I’ve no belongings, no relations, no friends, nothing at all, in all the world, of my own? I was only a poor girl.”
“You have to understand what I am—who I am; you especially need to know what I’m not! There’s a name for it, a terrible, cruel name. It’s not my fault! Others have known, I’ve had to talk about it—it has made a huge difference in my life. Surely you must have figured it out!” she continued, with a faint hint of irony, allowing him to take her hand, which felt as cold as her grim responsibility. “Can’t you see I have no belongings, no family, no friends, nothing at all, in this world, that belongs to me? I was just a poor girl.”
“A poor girl?” Baron was mystified, touched, distressed, piecing dimly together what she meant, but feeling, in a great surge of pity, that it was only something more to love her for.
“A poor girl?” The Baron was confused, moved, and troubled, slowly understanding what she meant, but feeling, in a wave of compassion, that it was just another reason to love her even more.
“My mother—my poor mother,” said Mrs. Ryves.
“My mother—my poor mother,” said Mrs. Ryves.
She paused with this, and through gathering tears her eyes met his as if to plead with him to understand. He understood, and drew her closer, but she kept herself free still, to continue: “She was a poor girl—she was only a governess; she was alone, she thought he loved her. He did—I think it was the only happiness she ever knew. But she died of it.”
She paused at this, and with tears welling up in her eyes, she looked at him as if to ask him to understand. He did understand and pulled her closer, but she still held back a bit to continue: “She was a poor girl—just a governess; she was alone and believed he loved her. He did—I think that was the only happiness she ever experienced. But she died from it.”
“Oh, I’m so glad you tell me—it’s so grand of you!” Baron murmured. “Then—your father?” He hesitated, as if with his hands on old wounds.
“Oh, I’m so glad you told me—it’s so great of you!” Baron murmured. “So—your dad?” He hesitated, as if touching on old wounds.
“He had his own troubles, but he was kind to her. It was all misery and folly—he was married. He wasn’t happy—there were good reasons, I believe, for that. I know it from letters, I know it from a person who’s dead. Everyone is dead now—it’s too far off. That’s the only good thing. He was very kind to me; I remember him, though I didn’t know then, as a little girl, who he was. He put me with some very good people—he did what he could for me. I think, later, his wife knew—a lady who came to see me once after his death. I was a very little girl, but I remember many things. What he could he did—something that helped me afterwards, something that helps me now. I think of him with a strange pity—I see him!” said Mrs. Ryves, with the faint past in her eyes. “You mustn’t say anything against him,” she added, gently and gravely.
“He had his own issues, but he was nice to her. It was all sadness and foolishness—he was married. He wasn’t happy—there were good reasons for that, I believe. I learned it from letters, and from a person who’s now gone. Everyone is gone now—it’s too far in the past. That’s the only good thing. He was really kind to me; I remember him, even though I didn’t know who he was back then, as a little girl. He connected me with some really good people—he did what he could for me. I think later, his wife found out—a woman who visited me once after his death. I was very young, but I remember a lot. He did what he could—something that helped me later, something that helps me now. I think of him with a strange pity—I see him!” said Mrs. Ryves, her eyes reflecting a distant past. “You mustn’t say anything bad about him,” she added softly and seriously.
“Never—never; for he has only made it more of a rapture to care for you.”
“Never—never; because he has only made it even more thrilling to care for you.”
“You must wait, you must think; we must wait together,” she went on. “You can’t tell, and you must give me time. Now that you know, it’s all right; but you had to know. Doesn’t it make us better friends?” asked Mrs. Ryves, with a tired smile which had the effect of putting the whole story further and further away. The next moment, however, she added quickly, as if with the sense that it couldn’t be far enough: “You don’t know, you can’t judge, you must let it settle. Think of it, think of it; oh you will, and leave it so. I must have time myself, oh I must! Yes, you must believe me.”
“You need to wait and think; we need to wait together,” she continued. “You can’t rush it, and you have to give me time. Now that you know, it’s okay; but you had to find out. Doesn’t it make us closer friends?” Mrs. Ryves asked with a weary smile that made the whole situation feel even more distant. But just a moment later, she quickly added, as if trying to create more space: “You don’t understand, you can’t judge yet, you need to let it settle. Think about it, really think about it; oh, you will, and just leave it there. I need time, oh, I really do! Yes, you have to trust me.”
She turned away from him, and he remained looking at her a moment. “Ah, how I shall work for you!” he exclaimed.
She turned away from him, and he kept looking at her for a moment. “Ah, how I will work for you!” he exclaimed.
“You must work for yourself; I’ll help you.” Her eyes had met his eyes again, and she added, hesitating, thinking: “You had better know, perhaps, who he was.”
“You need to look out for yourself; I’ll support you.” Her eyes locked with his again, and she continued, hesitating, thinking: “You should probably know who he was.”
Baron shook his head, smiling confidently. “I don’t care a straw.”
Baron shook his head, smiling confidently. “I don’t care at all.”
“I do—a little. He was a great man.”
“I do—a little. He was a great man.”
“There must indeed have been some good in him.”
“There must have definitely been some good in him.”
“He was a high celebrity. You’ve often heard of him.”
“He was a big celebrity. You’ve probably heard of him.”
Baron wondered an instant. “I’ve no doubt you’re a princess!” he said with a laugh. She made him nervous.
Baron thought for a moment. “I’m sure you’re a princess!” he said with a laugh. She made him uneasy.
“I’m not ashamed of him. He was Sir Dominick Ferrand.”
“I’m not ashamed of him. He was Sir Dominick Ferrand.”
Baron saw in her face, in a few seconds, that she had seen something in his. He knew that he stared, then turned pale; it had the effect of a powerful shock. He was cold for an instant, as he had just found her, with the sense of danger, the confused horror of having dealt a blow. But the blood rushed back to its courses with his still quicker consciousness of safety, and he could make out, as he recovered his balance, that his emotion struck her simply as a violent surprise. He gave a muffled murmur: “Ah, it’s you, my beloved!” which lost itself as he drew her close and held her long, in the intensity of his embrace and the wonder of his escape. It took more than a minute for him to say over to himself often enough, with his hidden face: “Ah, she must never, never know!”
Baron realized in an instant from her expression that she had noticed something in his. He knew he was staring, and then turned pale; it hit him like a strong shock. For a moment, he felt cold, as if he had just discovered her, gripped by a sense of danger and the confusing horror of having struck a blow. But the warmth returned as his awareness of safety kicked in, and he could see, as he regained his composure, that his emotional state came across to her as simply a shocking surprise. He let out a quiet murmur: “Ah, it’s you, my love!” This faded away as he pulled her close and held her tightly, overwhelmed by both the intensity of his embrace and the wonder of his narrow escape. It took him more than a minute to repeat to himself often enough, with his face hidden: “Ah, she must never, never know!”
She never knew; she only learned, when she asked him casually, that he had in fact destroyed the old documents she had had such a comic caprice about. The sensibility, the curiosity they had had the queer privilege of exciting in her had lapsed with the event as irresponsibly as they had arisen, and she appeared to have forgotten, or rather to attribute now to other causes, the agitation and several of the odd incidents that accompanied them. They naturally gave Peter Baron rather more to think about, much food, indeed, for clandestine meditation, some of which, in spite of the pains he took not to be caught, was noted by his friend and interpreted, to his knowledge, as depression produced by the long probation she succeeded in imposing on him. He was more patient than she could guess, with all her guessing, for if he was put to the proof she herself was not left undissected. It came back to him again and again that if the documents he had burned proved anything they proved that Sir Dominick Ferrand’s human errors were not all of one order. The woman he loved was the daughter of her father, he couldn’t get over that. What was more to the point was that as he came to know her better and better—for they did work together under Mr. Morrish’s protection—his affection was a quantity still less to be neglected. He sometimes wondered, in the light of her general straightness (their marriage had brought out even more than he believed there was of it) whether the relics in the davenport were genuine. That piece of furniture is still almost as useful to him as Mr. Morrish’s patronage. There is a tremendous run, as this gentlemen calls it, on several of their songs. Baron nevertheless still tries his hand also at prose, and his offerings are now not always declined by the magazines. But he has never approached the Promiscuous again. This periodical published in due course a highly eulogistic study of the remarkable career of Sir Dominick Ferrand.
She never knew; she only found out when she casually asked him that he had actually destroyed the old documents she had found so amusing. The sensitivity and curiosity they once sparked in her faded away with the event just as irresponsibly as they had emerged, and she seemed to have forgotten, or rather now attributed to other reasons, the anxiety and some of the strange incidents that went along with them. Naturally, this gave Peter Baron quite a bit to ponder, indeed a lot of food for secret thought, some of which, despite his efforts to avoid being noticed, was picked up by his friend and interpreted, to his knowledge, as depression caused by the extended probation she had imposed on him. He was more patient than she could imagine, despite all her guessing, for if he was being analyzed, she herself was not left untouched. He kept realizing that if the documents he had burned proved anything, it was that Sir Dominick Ferrand’s human flaws were not all the same. The woman he loved was her father's daughter, and he couldn't get past that. What was more significant was that as he got to know her better—for they did work together under Mr. Morrish’s protection—his affection was something that couldn’t be overlooked. He sometimes wondered, considering her overall honesty (their marriage revealed even more in her than he had anticipated), whether the items in the davenport were authentic. That piece of furniture is still almost as useful to him as Mr. Morrish’s support. There is a huge demand, as this gentleman puts it, for several of their songs. Nevertheless, Baron still tries his hand at prose, and his submissions are no longer always rejected by the magazines. However, he has never approached the Promiscuous again. This publication eventually featured a highly complimentary study of Sir Dominick Ferrand's remarkable career.
p. 131NONA VINCENT.
I.
“I wondered whether you wouldn’t read it to me,” said Mrs. Alsager, as they lingered a little near the fire before he took leave. She looked down at the fire sideways, drawing her dress away from it and making her proposal with a shy sincerity that added to her charm. Her charm was always great for Allan Wayworth, and the whole air of her house, which was simply a sort of distillation of herself, so soothing, so beguiling that he always made several false starts before departure. He had spent some such good hours there, had forgotten, in her warm, golden drawing-room, so much of the loneliness and so many of the worries of his life, that it had come to be the immediate answer to his longings, the cure for his aches, the harbour of refuge from his storms. His tribulations were not unprecedented, and some of his advantages, if of a usual kind, were marked in degree, inasmuch as he was very clever for one so young, and very independent for one so poor. He was eight-and-twenty, but he had lived a good deal and was full of ambitions and curiosities and disappointments. The opportunity to talk of some of these in Grosvenor Place corrected perceptibly the immense inconvenience of London. This inconvenience took for him principally the line of insensibility to Allan Wayworth’s literary form. He had a literary form, or he thought he had, and her intelligent recognition of the circumstance was the sweetest consolation Mrs. Alsager could have administered. She was even more literary and more artistic than he, inasmuch as he could often work off his overflow (this was his occupation, his profession), while the generous woman, abounding in happy thoughts, but unedited and unpublished, stood there in the rising tide like the nymph of a fountain in the plash of the marble basin.
“I thought if you could read it to me,” said Mrs. Alsager, as they lingered a bit near the fire before he left. She glanced sideways at the flames, pulling her dress away from it and making her request with a shy sincerity that added to her charm. Her charm always captivated Allan Wayworth, and the atmosphere of her home, which was a reflection of her very essence, was so soothing and enchanting that he often hesitated to leave. He had spent many enjoyable hours there, forgetting, in her warm, golden drawing-room, much of the loneliness and worries in his life. It had become the immediate answer to his longings, a remedy for his pains, a safe harbor from his storms. His struggles weren’t unique, and while some of his advantages were relatively common, they were significant, given that he was quite smart for his age and surprisingly independent for someone so financially strapped. He was twenty-eight, but he had experienced a lot and was filled with ambitions, curiosities, and disappointments. The chance to discuss some of these at Grosvenor Place noticeably eased the overwhelming inconvenience of living in London. This inconvenience primarily manifested as a lack of sensitivity to Allan Wayworth’s literary style. He believed he had a literary style, and her thoughtful acknowledgment of this was the sweetest comfort Mrs. Alsager could offer. She was even more literary and artistic than he was, as he could often channel his creative overflow (this was his job, his profession), while the generous woman, rich in joyful ideas but unedited and unpublished, stood there amid the rising tide like the nymph of a fountain in the splashes of a marble basin.
The year before, in a big newspapery house, he had found himself next her at dinner, and they had converted the intensely material hour into a feast of reason. There was no motive for her asking him to come to see her but that she liked him, which it was the more agreeable to him to perceive as he perceived at the same time that she was exquisite. She was enviably free to act upon her likings, and it made Wayworth feel less unsuccessful to infer that for the moment he happened to be one of them. He kept the revelation to himself, and indeed there was nothing to turn his head in the kindness of a kind woman. Mrs. Alsager occupied so completely the ground of possession that she would have been condemned to inaction had it not been for the principle of giving. Her husband, who was twenty years her senior, a massive personality in the City and a heavy one at home (wherever he stood, or even sat, he was monumental), owned half a big newspaper and the whole of a great many other things. He admired his wife, though she bore no children, and liked her to have other tastes than his, as that seemed to give a greater acreage to their life. His own appetites went so far he could scarcely see the boundary, and his theory was to trust her to push the limits of hers, so that between them the pair should astound by their consumption. His ideas were prodigiously vulgar, but some of them had the good fortune to be carried out by a person of perfect delicacy. Her delicacy made her play strange tricks with them, but he never found this out. She attenuated him without his knowing it, for what he mainly thought was that he had aggrandised her. Without her he really would have been bigger still, and society, breathing more freely, was practically under an obligation to her which, to do it justice, it acknowledged by an attitude of mystified respect. She felt a tremulous need to throw her liberty and her leisure into the things of the soul—the most beautiful things she knew. She found them, when she gave time to seeking, in a hundred places, and particularly in a dim and sacred region—the region of active pity—over her entrance into which she dropped curtains so thick that it would have been an impertinence to lift them. But she cultivated other beneficent passions, and if she cherished the dream of something fine the moments at which it most seemed to her to come true were when she saw beauty plucked flower-like in the garden of art. She loved the perfect work—she had the artistic chord. This chord could vibrate only to the touch of another, so that appreciation, in her spirit, had the added intensity of regret. She could understand the joy of creation, and she thought it scarcely enough to be told that she herself created happiness. She would have liked, at any rate, to choose her way; but it was just here that her liberty failed her. She had not the voice—she had only the vision. The only envy she was capable of was directed to those who, as she said, could do something.
The year before, in a big newspaper office, he found himself sitting next to her at dinner, and they turned that intense, material hour into a feast of ideas. There was no reason for her to invite him to see her other than that she liked him, which was even more pleasing for him to realize as he also saw that she was exquisite. She was enviably free to act on her preferences, and it made Wayworth feel less unsuccessful to infer that at that moment, he happened to be one of them. He kept this revelation to himself, and honestly, there was nothing in the kindness of a nice woman to distract him. Mrs. Alsager completely occupied the space of possession, so she would have been stuck in inaction if it weren’t for her principle of giving. Her husband, who was twenty years older, a strong personality in the City and a heavy presence at home (wherever he stood or even sat, he was monumental), owned half of a major newspaper and the entirety of many other things. He admired his wife, even though she had no children, and appreciated that she had different interests from his, as that seemed to expand the breadth of their life. His own desires were so extensive that he could barely see the limits, and his theory was to trust her to push the boundaries of hers, so that together they could astonish by their consumption. His ideas were shockingly vulgar, but some of them were fortunately executed by someone of perfect delicacy. Her delicacy played strange tricks with them, but he never realized it. She softened him without him knowing, because what he mostly thought was that he had elevated her. Without her, he really would have been even bigger, and society, breathing a little easier, was practically indebted to her, which, to give it credit, it acknowledged with a puzzled respect. She felt a restless need to invest her freedom and leisure in the things of the soul—the most beautiful things she knew. When she took the time to search, she found them in many places, especially in a dim and sacred space—the space of active compassion—over which she pulled curtains so thick that lifting them would have been rude. But she also nurtured other generous passions, and if she cherished the dream of something beautiful, the moments when it most seemed real were when she saw beauty picked like flowers from the garden of art. She loved the perfect piece of work—she had an artistic instinct. This instinct could only resonate with the touch of another, so that appreciation, in her soul, carried the extra weight of regret. She could understand the joy of creation, and she thought it wasn’t enough just to be told that she herself created happiness. She would have liked, at the very least, to choose her own path; but that was precisely where her freedom let her down. She didn’t have the voice—she only had the vision. The only envy she felt was aimed at those who, as she put it, could actually do something.
As everything in her, however, turned to gentleness, she was admirably hospitable to such people as a class. She believed Allan Wayworth could do something, and she liked to hear him talk of the ways in which he meant to show it. He talked of them almost to no one else—she spoiled him for other listeners. With her fair bloom and her quiet grace she was indeed an ideal public, and if she had ever confided to him that she would have liked to scribble (she had in fact not mentioned it to a creature), he would have been in a perfect position for asking her why a woman whose face had so much expression should not have felt that she achieved. How in the world could she express better? There was less than that in Shakespeare and Beethoven. She had never been more generous than when, in compliance with her invitation, which I have recorded, he brought his play to read to her. He had spoken of it to her before, and one dark November afternoon, when her red fireside was more than ever an escape from the place and the season, he had broken out as he came in—“I’ve done it, I’ve done it!” She made him tell her all about it—she took an interest really minute and asked questions delightfully apt. She had spoken from the first as if he were on the point of being acted, making him jump, with her participation, all sorts of dreary intervals. She liked the theatre as she liked all the arts of expression, and he had known her to go all the way to Paris for a particular performance. Once he had gone with her—the time she took that stupid Mrs. Mostyn. She had been struck, when he sketched it, with the subject of his drama, and had spoken words that helped him to believe in it. As soon as he had rung down his curtain on the last act he rushed off to see her, but after that he kept the thing for repeated last touches. Finally, on Christmas day, by arrangement, she sat there and listened to it. It was in three acts and in prose, but rather of the romantic order, though dealing with contemporary English life, and he fondly believed that it showed the hand if not of the master, at least of the prize pupil.
As everything about her turned to gentleness, she was wonderfully welcoming to people like that. She believed Allan Wayworth could achieve something, and she enjoyed hearing him talk about how he planned to show it. He hardly talked about it with anyone else—she spoiled him for other listeners. With her radiant beauty and quiet grace, she was truly an ideal audience, and if she had ever confided in him that she would like to write (she hadn’t actually mentioned it to anyone), he would have been in the perfect position to ask her why a woman with such an expressive face wouldn’t feel that she accomplished it. How could she express herself better? There was less emotion in Shakespeare and Beethoven. She had never been more generous than when, in line with her invitation, which I have recorded, he brought his play to read to her. He had mentioned it to her before, and one gloomy November afternoon, as her cozy fireside felt like an even bigger escape from the cold season, he burst in—“I’ve done it, I’ve done it!” She made him tell her all about it—she showed a genuine, detailed interest and asked wonderfully relevant questions. From the start, she spoke as if he were about to be performed, helping him leap over all kinds of dreary moments with her involvement. She loved the theater just like she loved all forms of artistic expression, and he knew she had traveled all the way to Paris for a specific performance. Once, he went with her—the time she brought that annoying Mrs. Mostyn. He had been inspired by the subject of his drama when he sketched it and she had said things that helped him believe in it. As soon as he finished the last act, he hurried to see her, but afterward, he kept working on it for finishing touches. Finally, on Christmas Day, as planned, she sat there and listened to it. It was in three acts and written in prose, but it had a romantic feel while dealing with contemporary English life, and he fondly believed it showed the talent of not just a master but at least a standout student.
Allan Wayworth had returned to England, at two-and-twenty, after a miscellaneous continental education; his father, the correspondent, for years, in several foreign countries successively, of a conspicuous London journal, had died just after this, leaving his mother and her two other children, portionless girls, to subsist on a very small income in a very dull German town. The young man’s beginnings in London were difficult, and he had aggravated them by his dislike of journalism. His father’s connection with it would have helped him, but he was (insanely, most of his friends judged—the great exception was always Mrs. Alsager) intraitable on the question of form. Form—in his sense—was not demanded by English newspapers, and he couldn’t give it to them in their sense. The demand for it was not great anywhere, and Wayworth spent costly weeks in polishing little compositions for magazines that didn’t pay for style. The only person who paid for it was really Mrs. Alsager: she had an infallible instinct for the perfect. She paid in her own way, and if Allan Wayworth had been a wage-earning person it would have made him feel that if he didn’t receive his legal dues his palm was at least occasionally conscious of a gratuity. He had his limitations, his perversities, but the finest parts of him were the most alive, and he was restless and sincere. It is however the impression he produced on Mrs. Alsager that most concerns us: she thought him not only remarkably good-looking but altogether original. There were some usual bad things he would never do—too many prohibitive puddles for him in the short cut to success.
Allan Wayworth had returned to England at twenty-two, after a varied education across Europe. His father, a foreign correspondent for a well-known London newspaper, had passed away shortly before this, leaving his mother and her two other daughters, both without their own means, to get by on a very small income in a rather dull German town. The young man's start in London was tough, and he made it harder by not wanting to pursue journalism. His father’s connections could have helped him, but he was, as most of his friends deemed irrational (the notable exception being Mrs. Alsager), stubborn about the issue of style. Style—in his view—was not what English newspapers required, and he couldn't provide it in their way. There wasn’t much demand for it anywhere, and Wayworth wasted expensive weeks fine-tuning short pieces for magazines that didn’t pay for style. The only one who really appreciated it was Mrs. Alsager: she had an uncanny knack for perfection. She compensated him in her own way, and if Allan Wayworth had held a regular job, it would have made him feel that even if he didn’t get what he was owed, he at least occasionally felt a kind of bonus. He had his limitations and quirks, but his best qualities were vibrant, and he was both restless and sincere. However, what concerns us most is the impression he made on Mrs. Alsager: she thought he was not only strikingly attractive but entirely unique. There were some common mistakes he would never make—too many treacherous puddles for him on the shortcut to success.
For himself, he had never been so happy as since he had seen his way, as he fondly believed, to some sort of mastery of the scenic idea, which struck him as a very different matter now that he looked at it from within. He had had his early days of contempt for it, when it seemed to him a jewel, dim at the best, hidden in a dunghill, a taper burning low in an air thick with vulgarity. It was hedged about with sordid approaches, it was not worth sacrifice and suffering. The man of letters, in dealing with it, would have to put off all literature, which was like asking the bearer of a noble name to forego his immemorial heritage. Aspects change, however, with the point of view: Wayworth had waked up one morning in a different bed altogether. It is needless here to trace this accident to its source; it would have been much more interesting to a spectator of the young man’s life to follow some of the consequences. He had been made (as he felt) the subject of a special revelation, and he wore his hat like a man in love. An angel had taken him by the hand and guided him to the shabby door which opens, it appeared, into an interior both splendid and austere. The scenic idea was magnificent when once you had embraced it—the dramatic form had a purity which made some others look ingloriously rough. It had the high dignity of the exact sciences, it was mathematical and architectural. It was full of the refreshment of calculation and construction, the incorruptibility of line and law. It was bare, but it was erect, it was poor, but it was noble; it reminded him of some sovereign famed for justice who should have lived in a palace despoiled. There was a fearful amount of concession in it, but what you kept had a rare intensity. You were perpetually throwing over the cargo to save the ship, but what a motion you gave her when you made her ride the waves—a motion as rhythmic as the dance of a goddess! Wayworth took long London walks and thought of these things—London poured into his ears the mighty hum of its suggestion. His imagination glowed and melted down material, his intentions multiplied and made the air a golden haze. He saw not only the thing he should do, but the next and the next and the next; the future opened before him and he seemed to walk on marble slabs. The more he tried the dramatic form the more he loved it, the more he looked at it the more he perceived in it. What he perceived in it indeed he now perceived everywhere; if he stopped, in the London dusk, before some flaring shop-window, the place immediately constituted itself behind footlights, became a framed stage for his figures. He hammered at these figures in his lonely lodging, he shaped them and he shaped their tabernacle; he was like a goldsmith chiselling a casket, bent over with the passion for perfection. When he was neither roaming the streets with his vision nor worrying his problem at his table, he was exchanging ideas on the general question with Mrs. Alsager, to whom he promised details that would amuse her in later and still happier hours. Her eyes were full of tears when he read her the last words of the finished work, and she murmured, divinely—
For him, he had never been happier since he thought he had found a way to gain some sort of control over the scenic idea, which felt very different now that he viewed it from an inside perspective. He had his early days of looking down on it when it seemed like a gem, dim at best, buried in a pile of junk, a flickering candle in an atmosphere thick with crudeness. It was surrounded by grimy entrances; it wasn't worth the sacrifice and suffering. The writer, when dealing with it, would have to cast aside all literature, which was like asking someone from a noble family to give up their ancestral legacy. Perspectives shift, though, with different viewpoints: Wayworth had woken up one morning in a completely different mindset. There's no need to trace this change back to its origin; it would have been far more interesting for an observer of the young man's life to follow some of the outcomes. He felt he had experienced a special revelation, and he wore his hat like a man in love. An angel had taken him by the hand and led him to a shabby door that opened, it seemed, into a space that was both grand and stark. The scenic idea was magnificent once you embraced it—the dramatic form had a purity that made other forms look less impressive. It had the noble dignity of the exact sciences; it was mathematical and architectural. It was filled with the refreshment of calculation and creation, the integrity of line and law. It was bare, but it stood tall; it was poor, yet it was dignified; it reminded him of a just ruler who might have lived in a stripped-down palace. There was a significant amount of compromise in it, but what you retained had a rare intensity. You were constantly jettisoning excess to keep the core afloat, but the way you made it sail through the waves was a motion as graceful as a goddess's dance! Wayworth took long walks in London, contemplating these thoughts—London filled his ears with its powerful buzz of suggestions. His imagination ignited and transformed material, his intentions multiplied, turning the air into a golden haze. He saw not just the action he needed to take, but the next step and the one after that; the future stretched out before him, and he felt like he was walking on marble slabs. The more he explored the dramatic form, the more he loved it; the more he examined it, the more he discovered in it. What he found in it, indeed, he now noticed everywhere; if he paused in the London twilight before a brightly lit shop window, the place instantly became a stage framed by footlights for his characters. He crafted these characters in his solitary room, shaping them and their world; he was like a goldsmith meticulously working on a box, consumed by a desire for perfection. When he wasn't wandering the streets with his visions or grappling with his problem at his table, he was exchanging ideas on the broader topic with Mrs. Alsager, to whom he promised amusing details for later, even happier times. Her eyes were filled with tears when he read her the last words of the completed work, and she murmured, divinely—
“And now—to get it done, to get it done!”
“And now—to finish it, to finish it!”
“Yes, indeed—to get it done!” Wayworth stared at the fire, slowly rolling up his type-copy. “But that’s a totally different part of the business, and altogether secondary.”
“Yes, definitely—let’s get it done!” Wayworth stared at the fire, slowly rolling up his type-copy. “But that’s a completely different aspect of the business, and totally secondary.”
“But of course you want to be acted?”
“But of course you want to be acted out?”
“Of course I do—but it’s a sudden descent. I want to intensely, but I’m sorry I want to.”
“Of course I do—but it’s a sudden drop. I really want to, but I’m sorry I do.”
“It’s there indeed that the difficulties begin,” said Mrs. Alsager, a little off her guard.
“It’s there that the difficulties start,” said Mrs. Alsager, slightly off her guard.
“How can you say that? It’s there that they end!”
“How can you say that? That’s where they end!”
“Ah, wait to see where they end!”
“Ah, just wait to see where they end up!”
“I mean they’ll now be of a totally different order,” Wayworth explained. “It seems to me there can be nothing in the world more difficult than to write a play that will stand an all-round test, and that in comparison with them the complications that spring up at this point are of an altogether smaller kind.”
“I mean they’ll now be on a completely different level,” Wayworth explained. “It seems to me there’s nothing more challenging in the world than writing a play that will withstand every kind of scrutiny, and compared to that, the complications that arise at this point are much less significant.”
“Yes, they’re not inspiring,” said Mrs. Alsager; “they’re discouraging, because they’re vulgar. The other problem, the working out of the thing itself, is pure art.”
“Yes, they’re not inspiring,” said Mrs. Alsager; “they’re discouraging because they’re tacky. The other issue, the execution of the thing itself, is pure art.”
“How well you understand everything!” The young man had got up, nervously, and was leaning against the chimney-piece with his back to the fire and his arms folded. The roll of his copy, in his fist, was squeezed into the hollow of one of them. He looked down at Mrs. Alsager, smiling gratefully, and she answered him with a smile from eyes still charmed and suffused. “Yes, the vulgarity will begin now,” he presently added.
“How well you understand everything!” The young man stood up nervously, leaning against the mantelpiece with his back to the fire and his arms crossed. He had his rolled-up paper squeezed in one of his fists. He looked down at Mrs. Alsager, smiling gratefully, and she replied with a smile, her eyes still gleaming and filled with warmth. “Yes, the vulgarity will begin now,” he added after a moment.
“You’ll suffer dreadfully.”
"You'll suffer badly."
“I shall suffer in a good cause.”
“I will endure for a good cause.”
“Yes, giving that to the world! You must leave it with me, I must read it over and over,” Mrs. Alsager pleaded, rising to come nearer and draw the copy, in its cover of greenish-grey paper, which had a generic identity now to him, out of his grasp. “Who in the world will do it?—who in the world can?” she went on, close to him, turning over the leaves. Before he could answer she had stopped at one of the pages; she turned the book round to him, pointing out a speech. “That’s the most beautiful place—those lines are a perfection.” He glanced at the spot she indicated, and she begged him to read them again—he had read them admirably before. He knew them by heart, and, closing the book while she held the other end of it, he murmured them over to her—they had indeed a cadence that pleased him—watching, with a facetious complacency which he hoped was pardonable, the applause in her face. “Ah, who can utter such lines as that?” Mrs. Alsager broke out; “whom can you find to do her?”
“Yes, giving that to the world! You have to leave it with me; I need to read it over and over,” Mrs. Alsager insisted, getting up to come closer and take the copy, wrapped in greenish-grey paper, that now felt familiar to him, from his hands. “Who in the world will do it?—who in the world can?” she continued, standing near him and flipping through the pages. Before he could respond, she stopped on one of the pages and turned the book toward him, pointing out a particular speech. “That’s the most beautiful part—those lines are perfection.” He glanced at the section she indicated, and she asked him to read them again—he had done an excellent job before. He knew them by heart, and as he closed the book while she held the other end, he quietly recited them to her—they really had a rhythm that he enjoyed—watching, with a playful satisfaction he hoped was acceptable, the admiration in her expression. “Ah, who can deliver such lines as that?” Mrs. Alsager exclaimed; “who can you find to do her?”
“We’ll find people to do them all!”
“We’ll find people to take care of all of them!”
“But not people who are worthy.”
“But not people who deserve it.”
“They’ll be worthy enough if they’re willing enough. I’ll work with them—I’ll grind it into them.” He spoke as if he had produced twenty plays.
“They’ll be good enough if they’re willing enough. I’ll work with them—I’ll drill it into them.” He spoke as if he had written twenty plays.
“Oh, it will be interesting!” she echoed.
“Oh, it’ll be interesting!” she said.
“But I shall have to find my theatre first. I shall have to get a manager to believe in me.”
“But I need to find my stage first. I have to get a manager to believe in me.”
“Yes—they’re so stupid!”
“Yes—they're so dumb!”
“But fancy the patience I shall want, and how I shall have to watch and wait,” said Allan Wayworth. “Do you see me hawking it about London?”
“But just imagine the patience I'll need, and how I'll have to keep my eyes peeled and wait,” said Allan Wayworth. “Do you see me selling it all over London?”
“Indeed I don’t—it would be sickening.”
“Honestly, I don’t—it would be disgusting.”
“It’s what I shall have to do. I shall be old before it’s produced.”
“It’s what I have to do. I’ll be old before it’s ready.”
“I shall be old very soon if it isn’t!” Mrs. Alsager cried. “I know one or two of them,” she mused.
“I'll be old really soon if it isn’t!” Mrs. Alsager exclaimed. “I know a couple of them,” she reflected.
“Do you mean you would speak to them?”
“Are you saying you would talk to them?”
“The thing is to get them to read it. I could do that.”
“The goal is to get them to read it. I can handle that.”
“That’s the utmost I ask. But it’s even for that I shall have to wait.”
“That’s all I’m asking. But for that, I’ll still have to wait.”
She looked at him with kind sisterly eyes. “You sha’n’t wait.”
She looked at him with caring, sisterly eyes. "You shouldn't wait."
“Ah, you dear lady!” Wayworth murmured.
“Ah, you dear lady!” Wayworth murmured.
“That is you may, but I won’t! Will you leave me your copy?” she went on, turning the pages again.
“That is you may, but I won’t! Will you leave me your copy?” she continued, flipping through the pages again.
“Certainly; I have another.” Standing near him she read to herself a passage here and there; then, in her sweet voice, she read some of them out. “Oh, if you were only an actress!” the young man exclaimed.
“Of course; I have another.” Standing beside him, she read some passages silently to herself, then in her lovely voice, she read some of them aloud. “Oh, if you were just an actress!” the young man exclaimed.
“That’s the last thing I am. There’s no comedy in me!”
"That's the last thing I am. There's no comedy in me!"
She had never appeared to Wayworth so much his good genius. “Is there any tragedy?” he asked, with the levity of complete confidence.
She had never seemed to Wayworth like his good luck charm. “Is there some sort of tragedy?” he asked, with the carefree attitude of total confidence.
She turned away from him, at this, with a strange and charming laugh and a “Perhaps that will be for you to determine!” But before he could disclaim such a responsibility she had faced him again and was talking about Nona Vincent as if she had been the most interesting of their friends and her situation at that moment an irresistible appeal to their sympathy. Nona Vincent was the heroine of the play, and Mrs. Alsager had taken a tremendous fancy to her. “I can’t tell you how I like that woman!” she exclaimed in a pensive rapture of credulity which could only be balm to the artistic spirit.
She turned away from him, laughing in a strange and charming way, saying, “Maybe that's something you should figure out!” But before he could deny any responsibility, she had turned back to him and started talking about Nona Vincent as if she were the most fascinating of their friends, with her situation at that moment being an irresistible call for their sympathy. Nona Vincent was the star of the play, and Mrs. Alsager had really taken a liking to her. “I can't tell you how much I love that woman!” she exclaimed, lost in a thoughtful admiration that could only soothe the artistic soul.
“I’m awfully glad she lives a bit. What I feel about her is that she’s a good deal like you,” Wayworth observed.
“I’m really glad she’s alive. What I feel about her is that she’s a lot like you,” Wayworth observed.
Mrs. Alsager stared an instant and turned faintly red. This was evidently a view that failed to strike her; she didn’t, however, treat it as a joke. “I’m not impressed with the resemblance. I don’t see myself doing what she does.”
Mrs. Alsager stared for a moment and turned slightly red. This was clearly a perspective that didn't resonate with her; however, she didn't dismiss it as a joke. “I’m not really seeing the resemblance. I can't imagine myself doing what she does.”
“It isn’t so much what she does,” the young man argued, drawing out his moustache.
“It isn’t really about what she does,” the young man argued, twirling his mustache.
“But what she does is the whole point. She simply tells her love—I should never do that.”
“But what she does is the whole point. She just expresses her love—I should never do that.”
“If you repudiate such a proceeding with such energy, why do you like her for it?”
“If you strongly disapprove of that kind of behavior, why do you like her for it?”
“It isn’t what I like her for.”
“It’s not what I like her for.”
“What else, then? That’s intensely characteristic.”
“What else, then? That’s really typical.”
Mrs. Alsager reflected, looking down at the fire; she had the air of having half-a-dozen reasons to choose from. But the one she produced was unexpectedly simple; it might even have been prompted by despair at not finding others. “I like her because you made her!” she exclaimed with a laugh, moving again away from her companion.
Mrs. Alsager thought for a moment, staring at the fire; she seemed to have a handful of reasons to pick from. But the one she came up with was surprisingly straightforward; it might have even been influenced by frustration at not finding any other reasons. "I like her because you made her!" she said with a laugh, pulling away from her companion again.
Wayworth laughed still louder. “You made her a little yourself. I’ve thought of her as looking like you.”
Wayworth laughed even louder. “You made her a bit like yourself. I’ve thought of her as looking like you.”
“She ought to look much better,” said Mrs. Alsager. “No, certainly, I shouldn’t do what she does.”
“She should look a lot better,” said Mrs. Alsager. “No, definitely, I wouldn’t do what she does.”
“Not even in the same circumstances?”
“Not even under the same conditions?”
“I should never find myself in such circumstances. They’re exactly your play, and have nothing in common with such a life as mine. However,” Mrs. Alsager went on, “her behaviour was natural for her, and not only natural, but, it seems to me, thoroughly beautiful and noble. I can’t sufficiently admire the talent and tact with which you make one accept it, and I tell you frankly that it’s evident to me there must be a brilliant future before a young man who, at the start, has been capable of such a stroke as that. Thank heaven I can admire Nona Vincent as intensely as I feel that I don’t resemble her!”
“I should never find myself in situations like that. They're totally your kind of thing and have nothing to do with my life. However,” Mrs. Alsager continued, “her behavior was natural for her, and not just natural, but beautiful and noble as well. I can’t praise enough the talent and tact you have in making people accept it, and I’m being honest when I say that it’s clear to me there’s a bright future ahead for a young man who, right from the start, is capable of such a move. Thank goodness I can admire Nona Vincent just as much as I feel that I don't resemble her!”
“Don’t exaggerate that,” said Allan Wayworth.
“Don’t blow that out of proportion,” said Allan Wayworth.
“My admiration?”
"My admiration?"
“Your dissimilarity. She has your face, your air, your voice, your motion; she has many elements of your being.”
“Your differences. She has your face, your vibe, your voice, your movements; she has many aspects of who you are.”
“Then she’ll damn your play!” Mrs. Alsager replied. They joked a little over this, though it was not in the tone of pleasantry that Wayworth’s hostess soon remarked: “You’ve got your remedy, however: have her done by the right woman.”
“Then she’ll curse your play!” Mrs. Alsager replied. They joked a bit about this, although it wasn’t in a lighthearted way that Wayworth’s hostess soon remarked: “You’ve got your solution, though: have her handled by the right woman.”
“Oh, have her ‘done’—have her ‘done’!” the young man gently wailed.
“Oh, get her ‘done’—get her ‘done’!” the young man softly cried.
“I see what you mean, my poor friend. What a pity, when it’s such a magnificent part—such a chance for a clever serious girl! Nona Vincent is practically your play—it will be open to her to carry it far or to drop it at the first corner.”
“I get what you're saying, my poor friend. What a shame, when it’s such an amazing role—such an opportunity for a smart, serious girl! Nona Vincent is basically your part—it’s up to her to take it far or to give it up at the first obstacle.”
“It’s a charming prospect,” said Allan Wayworth, with sudden scepticism. They looked at each other with eyes that, for a lurid moment, saw the worst of the worst; but before they parted they had exchanged vows and confidences that were dedicated wholly to the ideal. It is not to be supposed, however, that the knowledge that Mrs. Alsager would help him made Wayworth less eager to help himself. He did what he could and felt that she, on her side, was doing no less; but at the end of a year he was obliged to recognise that their united effort had mainly produced the fine flower of discouragement. At the end of a year the lustre had, to his own eyes, quite faded from his unappreciated masterpiece, and he found himself writing for a biographical dictionary little lives of celebrities he had never heard of. To be printed, anywhere and anyhow, was a form of glory for a man so unable to be acted, and to be paid, even at encyclopædic rates, had the consequence of making one resigned and verbose. He couldn’t smuggle style into a dictionary, but he could at least reflect that he had done his best to learn from the drama that it is a gross impertinence almost anywhere. He had knocked at the door of every theatre in London, and, at a ruinous expense, had multiplied type-copies of Nona Vincent to replace the neat transcripts that had descended into the managerial abyss. His play was not even declined—no such flattering intimation was given him that it had been read. What the managers would do for Mrs. Alsager concerned him little today; the thing that was relevant was that they would do nothing for him. That charming woman felt humbled to the earth, so little response had she had from the powers on which she counted. The two never talked about the play now, but he tried to show her a still finer friendship, that she might not think he felt she had failed him. He still walked about London with his dreams, but as months succeeded months and he left the year behind him they were dreams not so much of success as of revenge. Success seemed a colourless name for the reward of his patience; something fiercely florid, something sanguinolent was more to the point. His best consolation however was still in the scenic idea; it was not till now that he discovered how incurably he was in love with it. By the time a vain second year had chafed itself away he cherished his fruitless faculty the more for the obloquy it seemed to suffer. He lived, in his best hours, in a world of subjects and situations; he wrote another play and made it as different from its predecessor as such a very good thing could be. It might be a very good thing, but when he had committed it to the theatrical limbo indiscriminating fate took no account of the difference. He was at last able to leave England for three or four months; he went to Germany to pay a visit long deferred to his mother and sisters.
“It’s a charming idea,” said Allan Wayworth, suddenly skeptical. They glanced at each other with eyes that, for a brief moment, imagined the worst; but before they parted, they had exchanged promises and secrets dedicated completely to their ideal. However, it shouldn’t be assumed that knowing Mrs. Alsager would help him made Wayworth any less eager to help himself. He did what he could and felt that she was doing her best as well; but after a year, he had to face the fact that their combined efforts mostly led to a beautiful result of discouragement. By the end of the year, the shine had completely faded from his unappreciated masterpiece, and he found himself writing mini-biographies of celebrities he had never heard of for a biographical dictionary. Getting published, anywhere and anyhow, felt like a form of glory for a man who couldn't find his place in the spotlight, and being paid—even at encyclopedia rates—made him somewhat resigned and verbose. He couldn't inject style into a dictionary, but he could at least recognize that he had tried his best to learn from the drama, even though it was often seen as a major insult. He had knocked on the doors of every theater in London and, at great expense, had made multiple copies of Nona Vincent to replace the neat transcripts that had been swallowed up by the managers. His play wasn't even officially rejected—he hadn’t even received a courteous note to say it had been read. What the managers would do for Mrs. Alsager didn’t bother him much anymore; what mattered was that they would do nothing for him. That lovely woman felt defeated, given the lack of response she had received from those she relied on. The two never discussed the play anymore, but he tried to show her a deeper friendship, so she wouldn’t think that he felt let down by her. He still wandered around London with his dreams, but as months went by and a year passed, those dreams turned not so much to success as to revenge. Success felt like a dull word for the reward of his waiting; something vibrant and intense was more fitting. His best solace, however, remained in the theatrical idea; only now did he realize how hopelessly he was in love with it. By the time a fruitless second year had slipped away, he cherished his unyielding passion even more for the scorn it seemed to attract. During his best moments, he lived in a world of subjects and situations; he wrote another play and made it as distinct from its predecessor as possible. It might have been a great work, but when he submitted it to the theatrical void, indifferent fate didn’t recognize the difference. Finally, he was able to leave England for three or four months; he went to Germany to visit his mother and sisters, a visit he had long postponed.
Shortly before the time he had fixed for his return he received from Mrs. Alsager a telegram consisting of the words: “Loder wishes see you—putting Nona instant rehearsal.” He spent the few hours before his departure in kissing his mother and sisters, who knew enough about Mrs. Alsager to judge it lucky this respectable married lady was not there—a relief, however, accompanied with speculative glances at London and the morrow. Loder, as our young man was aware, meant the new “Renaissance,” but though he reached home in the evening it was not to this convenient modern theatre that Wayworth first proceeded. He spent a late hour with Mrs. Alsager, an hour that throbbed with calculation. She told him that Mr. Loder was charming, he had simply taken up the play in its turn; he had hopes of it, moreover, that on the part of a professional pessimist might almost be qualified as ecstatic. It had been cast, with a margin for objections, and Violet Grey was to do the heroine. She had been capable, while he was away, of a good piece of work at that foggy old playhouse the “Legitimate;” the piece was a clumsy réchauffé, but she at least had been fresh. Wayworth remembered Violet Grey—hadn’t he, for two years, on a fond policy of “looking out,” kept dipping into the London theatres to pick up prospective interpreters? He had not picked up many as yet, and this young lady at all events had never wriggled in his net. She was pretty and she was odd, but he had never prefigured her as Nona Vincent, nor indeed found himself attracted by what he already felt sufficiently launched in the profession to speak of as her artistic personality. Mrs. Alsager was different—she declared that she had been struck not a little by some of her tones. The girl was interesting in the thing at the “Legitimate,” and Mr. Loder, who had his eye on her, described her as ambitious and intelligent. She wanted awfully to get on—and some of those ladies were so lazy! Wayworth was sceptical—he had seen Miss Violet Grey, who was terribly itinerant, in a dozen theatres but only in one aspect. Nona Vincent had a dozen aspects, but only one theatre; yet with what a feverish curiosity the young man promised himself to watch the actress on the morrow! Talking the matter over with Mrs. Alsager now seemed the very stuff that rehearsal was made of. The near prospect of being acted laid a finger even on the lip of inquiry; he wanted to go on tiptoe till the first night, to make no condition but that they should speak his lines, and he felt that he wouldn’t so much as raise an eyebrow at the scene-painter if he should give him an old oak chamber.
Shortly before the time he had set for his return, he received a telegram from Mrs. Alsager saying, “Loder wishes to see you—putting Nona into instant rehearsal.” He spent the few hours before leaving kissing his mother and sisters, who knew enough about Mrs. Alsager to consider it lucky that this respectable married woman was not there—a relief, though accompanied by speculative glances at London and the next day. Loder, as our young man recognized, meant the new “Renaissance,” but even though he got home in the evening, Wayworth did not go straight to this modern theater. He spent a late hour with Mrs. Alsager, an hour filled with anticipation. She told him that Mr. Loder was charming, having simply taken up the play in turn; he had hopes for it that, from a professional pessimist, might almost be seen as ecstatic. It had been cast, allowing for some objections, and Violet Grey was set to play the heroine. She had managed to do quite a good job at that foggy old playhouse, the “Legitimate,” while he was away; the play was a clumsy réchauffé, but she had at least brought some freshness to it. Wayworth remembered Violet Grey—hadn’t he, for two years, been on a fond mission of “looking out,” regularly checking out London theaters for potential performers? He hadn’t found many yet, and this young lady had never caught his interest. She was pretty and unique, but he had never imagined her as Nona Vincent, nor did he feel drawn to what he already considered himself experienced enough in the profession to refer to as her artistic personality. Mrs. Alsager was different—she claimed to have been quite taken by some of her tones. The girl was intriguing in the production at the “Legitimate,” and Mr. Loder, who had an eye on her, described her as ambitious and intelligent. She desperately wanted to succeed—and some of those ladies were so lazy! Wayworth was doubtful—he had seen Miss Violet Grey, who was always on the move, in a dozen theaters but only in one role. Nona Vincent had a variety of roles, but only one theater; yet with what intense curiosity the young man promised himself to watch the actress the next day! Discussing it with Mrs. Alsager now felt like the perfect way to prepare for rehearsal. The close prospect of being acted made even inquiry feel less important; he wanted to tread lightly until opening night, wishing only for them to deliver his lines, and he felt he wouldn’t even glance at the scene-painter if he were to create an old oak chamber.
He became conscious, the next day, that his danger would be other than this, and yet he couldn’t have expressed to himself what it would be. Danger was there, doubtless—danger was everywhere, in the world of art, and still more in the world of commerce; but what he really seemed to catch, for the hour, was the beating of the wings of victory. Nothing could undermine that, since it was victory simply to be acted. It would be victory even to be acted badly; a reflection that didn’t prevent him, however, from banishing, in his politic optimism, the word “bad” from his vocabulary. It had no application, in the compromise of practice; it didn’t apply even to his play, which he was conscious he had already outlived and as to which he foresaw that, in the coming weeks, frequent alarm would alternate, in his spirit, with frequent esteem. When he went down to the dusky daylit theatre (it arched over him like the temple of fame) Mr. Loder, who was as charming as Mrs. Alsager had announced, struck him as the genius of hospitality. The manager began to explain why, for so long, he had given no sign; but that was the last thing that interested Wayworth now, and he could never remember afterwards what reasons Mr. Loder had enumerated. He liked, in the whole business of discussion and preparation, even the things he had thought he should probably dislike, and he revelled in those he had thought he should like. He watched Miss Violet Grey that evening with eyes that sought to penetrate her possibilities. She certainly had a few; they were qualities of voice and face, qualities perhaps even of intelligence; he sat there at any rate with a fostering, coaxing attention, repeating over to himself as convincingly as he could that she was not common—a circumstance all the more creditable as the part she was playing seemed to him desperately so. He perceived that this was why it pleased the audience; he divined that it was the part they enjoyed rather than the actress. He had a private panic, wondering how, if they liked that form, they could possibly like his. His form had now become quite an ultimate idea to him. By the time the evening was over some of Miss Violet Grey’s features, several of the turns of her head, a certain vibration of her voice, had taken their place in the same category. She was interesting, she was distinguished; at any rate he had accepted her: it came to the same thing. But he left the theatre that night without speaking to her—moved (a little even to his own mystification) by an odd procrastinating impulse. On the morrow he was to read his three acts to the company, and then he should have a good deal to say; what he felt for the moment was a vague indisposition to commit himself. Moreover he found a slight confusion of annoyance in the fact that though he had been trying all the evening to look at Nona Vincent in Violet Grey’s person, what subsisted in his vision was simply Violet Grey in Nona’s. He didn’t wish to see the actress so directly, or even so simply as that; and it had been very fatiguing, the effort to focus Nona both through the performer and through the “Legitimate.” Before he went to bed that night he posted three words to Mrs. Alsager—“She’s not a bit like it, but I dare say I can make her do.”
He woke up the next day realizing that his danger would be different from what he initially thought, but he couldn’t really articulate what that would be. Danger was definitely there—danger was all around, in the world of art, and even more so in the business world; but what he truly felt at that moment was the exhilaration of potential success. Nothing could shake that feeling, since simply being able to perform was a kind of victory. It would be a victory even if the performance turned out poorly; a thought that didn’t stop him from pushing the word “bad” out of his mind with a hopeful attitude. It had no relevance in the compromises of practice; it didn’t even apply to his own play, which he realized he had already moved beyond, and he sensed that over the coming weeks, he'd be wrestling with a mix of doubts and praise. When he headed down to the dimly lit theater (which loomed above him like a monument to fame), Mr. Loder, who was as charming as Mrs. Alsager had said, struck him as the embodiment of hospitality. The manager started explaining why he hadn’t made any contact for so long, but that was the last thing on Wayworth’s mind, and he could never recall what reasons Mr. Loder had mentioned afterwards. He found enjoyment in the entire process of discussion and preparation, even in aspects he thought he would dislike, and he particularly indulged in those he expected to enjoy. He watched Miss Violet Grey that evening with eyes trying to uncover her potential. She certainly had some; she had qualities of voice and appearance, and perhaps even intelligence; he sat there with an encouraging, attentive gaze, repeating to himself as convincingly as he could that she wasn’t ordinary—a notable observation since the role she was playing seemed to him desperately typical. He realized that this was why the audience reacted positively; he sensed they appreciated the character more than the actress herself. He felt a private panic, wondering how, if they liked that performance, they could possibly enjoy his. His performance had become a crucial concept for him. By the end of the night, some of Miss Violet Grey’s features, several angles of her head, and a certain inflection in her voice had entered his mind in the same way. She was interesting, she was unique; at least he accepted her, which amounted to the same thing. But he left the theater that night without speaking to her—somewhat mystified by a strange tendency to procrastinate. The next day, he was set to present his three acts to the company, and then he would have plenty to say; for now, he felt a vague reluctance to tie himself down. Additionally, he found himself slightly annoyed that although he had tried all evening to see Nona Vincent through Violet Grey’s performance, what he actually saw was just Violet Grey as Nona. He didn’t want to perceive the actress so directly, or even so simply; it had been exhausting to try to see Nona through the actress and through the “Legitimate.” Before going to bed that night, he sent three words to Mrs. Alsager—“She’s not a bit like it, but I dare say I can make her do.”
He was pleased with the way the actress listened, the next day, at the reading; he was pleased indeed with many things, at the reading, and most of all with the reading itself. The whole affair loomed large to him and he magnified it and mapped it out. He enjoyed his occupation of the big, dim, hollow theatre, full of the echoes of “effect” and of a queer smell of gas and success—it all seemed such a passive canvas for his picture. For the first time in his life he was in command of resources; he was acquainted with the phrase, but had never thought he should know the feeling. He was surprised at what Loder appeared ready to do, though he reminded himself that he must never show it. He foresaw that there would be two distinct concomitants to the artistic effort of producing a play, one consisting of a great deal of anguish and the other of a great deal of amusement. He looked back upon the reading, afterwards, as the best hour in the business, because it was then that the piece had most struck him as represented. What came later was the doing of others; but this, with its imperfections and failures, was all his own. The drama lived, at any rate, for that hour, with an intensity that it was promptly to lose in the poverty and patchiness of rehearsal; he could see its life reflected, in a way that was sweet to him, in the stillness of the little semi-circle of attentive and inscrutable, of water-proofed and muddy-booted, actors. Miss Violet Grey was the auditor he had most to say to, and he tried on the spot, across the shabby stage, to let her have the soul of her part. Her attitude was graceful, but though she appeared to listen with all her faculties her face remained perfectly blank; a fact, however, not discouraging to Wayworth, who liked her better for not being premature. Her companions gave discernible signs of recognising the passages of comedy; yet Wayworth forgave her even then for being inexpressive. She evidently wished before everything else to be simply sure of what it was all about.
He was happy with how the actress listened the next day at the reading; he was truly pleased with many things during the reading, most of all with the reading itself. The whole event felt significant to him, and he exaggerated its importance and mapped it out in his mind. He enjoyed inhabiting the big, dim, empty theater, filled with echoes of “effect” and a strange smell of gas and success—it all felt like a blank canvas for his vision. For the first time in his life, he was in control of resources; he was familiar with the term but never thought he would experience the feeling. He was taken aback by what Loder seemed ready to do, though he reminded himself to never show it. He anticipated that there would be two clear aspects to the artistic effort of producing a play: one filled with a lot of pain and the other with a lot of laughter. He later viewed the reading as the best hour in the business because it was the moment when the piece resonated with him the most. What followed was the work of others, but this, with its flaws and failures, was entirely his. The drama lived, at least for that hour, with an intensity it would soon lose in the shortcomings and inconsistencies of rehearsal; he could see its vibrancy reflected, in a way that he found pleasing, in the stillness of the small group of attentive and inscrutable, waterproofed and muddy-booted, actors. Miss Violet Grey was the audience member he had the most to communicate with, and he tried right then, across the worn stage, to convey the essence of her character. Her posture was graceful, but although she seemed to listen intently, her expression remained completely blank; this fact, however, didn’t discourage Wayworth, who appreciated her for not being overly eager. Her fellow actors showed clear signs of recognizing the comedic moments; still, Wayworth forgave her for being unexpressive in that moment. She clearly wanted, above all else, to be simply sure of what it was all about.
He was more surprised even than at the revelation of the scale on which Mr. Loder was ready to proceed by the discovery that some of the actors didn’t like their parts, and his heart sank as he asked himself what he could possibly do with them if they were going to be so stupid. This was the first of his disappointments; somehow he had expected every individual to become instantly and gratefully conscious of a rare opportunity, and from the moment such a calculation failed he was at sea, or mindful at any rate that more disappointments would come. It was impossible to make out what the manager liked or disliked; no judgment, no comment escaped him; his acceptance of the play and his views about the way it should be mounted had apparently converted him into a veiled and shrouded figure. Wayworth was able to grasp the idea that they would all move now in a higher and sharper air than that of compliment and confidence. When he talked with Violet Grey after the reading he gathered that she was really rather crude: what better proof of it could there be than her failure to break out instantly with an expression of delight about her great chance? This reserve, however, had evidently nothing to do with high pretensions; she had no wish to make him feel that a person of her eminence was superior to easy raptures. He guessed, after a little, that she was puzzled and even somewhat frightened—to a certain extent she had not understood. Nothing could appeal to him more than the opportunity to clear up her difficulties, in the course of the examination of which he quickly discovered that, so far as she had understood, she had understood wrong. If she was crude it was only a reason the more for talking to her; he kept saying to her “Ask me—ask me: ask me everything you can think of.”
He was even more surprised than when he realized the extent to which Mr. Loder was willing to go by finding out that some of the actors didn’t like their roles, and he felt disheartened as he wondered what he could possibly do with them if they were going to be so difficult. This was his first disappointment; he had somehow expected everyone to immediately recognize and appreciate a rare opportunity, and when that expectation fell flat, he felt lost, aware that more disappointments were likely to follow. It was impossible to tell what the manager liked or disliked; he offered no opinions or comments; his acceptance of the play and views on how it should be presented had seemingly turned him into a mysterious, hidden figure. Wayworth understood that they were now moving in a more elite and critical atmosphere than mere compliments and confidence. When he spoke with Violet Grey after the reading, he sensed she was a bit rough around the edges: what better proof of this could there be than her failure to immediately express excitement about her amazing opportunity? However, this restraint didn’t seem to come from high pretensions; she didn’t want him to think that someone of her stature was above feeling genuinely thrilled. After a moment, he guessed she was confused and even somewhat scared—partially, she didn't fully grasp what was happening. Nothing appealed to him more than the chance to clarify her uncertainties, during which he quickly realized that, as far as she had understood, she had gotten it all wrong. If she was inexperienced, that was all the more reason to engage with her; he kept saying to her, “Ask me—ask me: ask me anything you can think of.”
She asked him, she was perpetually asking him, and at the first rehearsals, which were without form and void to a degree that made them strike him much more as the death of an experiment than as the dawn of a success, they threshed things out immensely in a corner of the stage, with the effect of his coming to feel that at any rate she was in earnest. He felt more and more that his heroine was the keystone of his arch, for which indeed the actress was very ready to take her. But when he reminded this young lady of the way the whole thing practically depended on her she was alarmed and even slightly scandalised: she spoke more than once as if that could scarcely be the right way to construct a play—make it stand or fall by one poor nervous girl. She was almost morbidly conscientious, and in theory he liked her for this, though he lost patience three or four times with the things she couldn’t do and the things she could. At such times the tears came to her eyes; but they were produced by her own stupidity, she hastened to assure him, not by the way he spoke, which was awfully kind under the circumstances. Her sincerity made her beautiful, and he wished to heaven (and made a point of telling her so) that she could sprinkle a little of it over Nona. Once, however, she was so touched and troubled that the sight of it brought the tears for an instant to his own eyes; and it so happened that, turning at this moment, he found himself face to face with Mr. Loder. The manager stared, glanced at the actress, who turned in the other direction, and then smiling at Wayworth, exclaimed, with the humour of a man who heard the gallery laugh every night:
She kept asking him, always asking him, and during the initial rehearsals, which felt chaotic and aimless to the point where they seemed more like the end of an experiment than the beginning of a success, they hashed things out extensively in a corner of the stage, leading him to realize that at least she was serious about it. He increasingly felt that his heroine was the crucial element of his project, and the actress was more than willing to take on that role. But when he reminded her that the whole production practically relied on her, she got anxious and a bit scandalized: she mentioned more than once that it probably wasn't the best way to build a play—having it rise or fall based on one nervous girl. She was almost excessively conscientious, and he appreciated that about her in theory, though he lost his patience several times over what she couldn't do and what she could. At those moments, tears welled up in her eyes; but she rushed to assure him they were caused by her own mistakes, not by the way he spoke, which was really kind under the circumstances. Her sincerity made her lovely, and he genuinely wished (and made a point of telling her) that she could share a bit of it with Nona. Once, however, she was so moved and troubled that the sight of her brought tears to his own eyes for a moment; and just then, as he turned, he found himself face to face with Mr. Loder. The manager stared, glanced at the actress, who had turned away, and then smiled at Wayworth, saying, with the humor of someone who hears the gallery laugh every night:
“I say—I say!”
"I'm telling you—I'm telling you!"
“What’s the matter?” Wayworth asked.
“What's wrong?” Wayworth asked.
“I’m glad to see Miss Grey is taking such pains with you.”
“I’m happy to see Miss Grey is working so hard with you.”
“Oh, yes—she’ll turn me out!” said the young man, gaily. He was quite aware that it was apparent he was not superficial about Nona, and abundantly determined, into the bargain, that the rehearsal of the piece should not sacrifice a shade of thoroughness to any extrinsic consideration.
“Oh, yes—she’ll kick me out!” said the young man, cheerfully. He was fully aware that it was clear he wasn’t just being superficial about Nona and was also very determined that rehearsing the piece should not lose any detail for any outside reason.
Mrs. Alsager, whom, late in the afternoon, he used often to go and ask for a cup of tea, thanking her in advance for the rest she gave him and telling her how he found that rehearsal (as they were doing it—it was a caution!) took it out of one—Mrs. Alsager, more and more his good genius and, as he repeatedly assured her, his ministering angel, confirmed him in this superior policy and urged him on to every form of artistic devotion. She had, naturally, never been more interested than now in his work; she wanted to hear everything about everything. She treated him as heroically fatigued, plied him with luxurious restoratives, made him stretch himself on cushions and rose-leaves. They gossipped more than ever, by her fire, about the artistic life; he confided to her, for instance, all his hopes and fears, all his experiments and anxieties, on the subject of the representative of Nona. She was immensely interested in this young lady and showed it by taking a box again and again (she had seen her half-a-dozen times already), to study her capacity through the veil of her present part. Like Allan Wayworth she found her encouraging only by fits, for she had fine flashes of badness. She was intelligent, but she cried aloud for training, and the training was so absent that the intelligence had only a fraction of its effect. She was like a knife without an edge—good steel that had never been sharpened; she hacked away at her hard dramatic loaf, she couldn’t cut it smooth.
Mrs. Alsager, whom he often visited late in the afternoon to ask for a cup of tea while thanking her in advance for the rest she provided, told her how exhausting he found the rehearsal (as they were doing it—it was quite something!) took a toll on him. Mrs. Alsager, more and more his guiding light and, as he repeatedly told her, his saving grace, encouraged him in this higher purpose and pushed him toward all kinds of artistic dedication. Naturally, she had never been more invested in his work; she wanted to hear everything about everything. She treated him like someone heroically worn-out, showering him with luxurious treats, making him lie down on cushions and rose petals. They gossiped more than ever by her fire about the artistic life; he shared with her all his hopes and fears, his experiments and worries regarding the representative of Nona. She was hugely interested in this young woman and showed it by taking a box repeatedly (she had already seen her half a dozen times) to assess her abilities through the veil of her current role. Like Allan Wayworth, she found her encouraging only at times because she had brilliant moments of failure. She was intelligent, but she desperately needed training, which was so lacking that her intelligence barely had an impact. She was like a dull knife—good steel that had never been sharpened; she struggled with her challenging dramatic material, unable to slice it smoothly.
II.
“Certainly my leading lady won’t make Nona much like you!” Wayworth one day gloomily remarked to Mrs. Alsager. There were days when the prospect seemed to him awful.
“Sure thing my leading lady won’t resemble Nona much, like you!” Wayworth gloomily commented to Mrs. Alsager one day. There were times when the outlook felt utterly terrible to him.
“So much the better. There’s no necessity for that.”
“So much the better. There’s no need for that.”
“I wish you’d train her a little—you could so easily,” the young man went on; in response to which Mrs. Alsager requested him not to make such cruel fun of her. But she was curious about the girl, wanted to hear of her character, her private situation, how she lived and where, seemed indeed desirous to befriend her. Wayworth might not have known much about the private situation of Miss Violet Grey, but, as it happened, he was able, by the time his play had been three weeks in rehearsal, to supply information on such points. She was a charming, exemplary person, educated, cultivated, with highly modern tastes, an excellent musician. She had lost her parents and was very much alone in the world, her only two relations being a sister, who was married to a civil servant (in a highly responsible post) in India, and a dear little old-fashioned aunt (really a great-aunt) with whom she lived at Notting Hill, who wrote children’s books and who, it appeared, had once written a Christmas pantomime. It was quite an artistic home—not on the scale of Mrs. Alsager’s (to compare the smallest things with the greatest!) but intensely refined and honourable. Wayworth went so far as to hint that it would be rather nice and human on Mrs. Alsager’s part to go there—they would take it so kindly if she should call on them. She had acted so often on his hints that he had formed a pleasant habit of expecting it: it made him feel so wisely responsible about giving them. But this one appeared to fall to the ground, so that he let the subject drop. Mrs. Alsager, however, went yet once more to the “Legitimate,” as he found by her saying to him abruptly, on the morrow: “Oh, she’ll be very good—she’ll be very good.” When they said “she,” in these days, they always meant Violet Grey, though they pretended, for the most part, that they meant Nona Vincent.
“I wish you’d train her a bit—you could so easily,” the young man continued; to which Mrs. Alsager asked him not to joke about her so cruelly. But she was curious about the girl, wanting to know about her character, her personal situation, how she lived and where, and seemed genuinely eager to help her. Wayworth might not have known much about Miss Violet Grey's private life, but by the time his play had been in rehearsal for three weeks, he could provide details on those matters. She was a lovely, admirable person, educated and cultured, with very modern tastes, and an excellent musician. She had lost her parents and felt very alone in the world, her only two relatives being a sister married to a civil servant (in a very responsible position) in India, and a sweet little old-fashioned aunt (actually a great-aunt) with whom she lived in Notting Hill, who wrote children’s books and had once written a Christmas pantomime. It was quite an artistic home—not on the scale of Mrs. Alsager’s (to compare small things with great!) but very refined and respectable. Wayworth even suggested that it would be nice and considerate for Mrs. Alsager to visit them—they would appreciate it so much if she called on them. She had often acted on his suggestions, so he had developed a nice habit of expecting it: it made him feel so wisely responsible for giving them. But this one seemed to fall flat, so he let the topic go. However, Mrs. Alsager went once more to the “Legitimate,” as he learned from her abruptly saying to him the next day: “Oh, she’ll be very good—she’ll be very good.” When they said “she” these days, they always meant Violet Grey, though they usually pretended they meant Nona Vincent.
“Oh yes,” Wayworth assented, “she wants so to!”
“Oh yes,” Wayworth agreed, “she really wants to!”
Mrs. Alsager was silent a moment; then she asked, a little inconsequently, as if she had come back from a reverie: “Does she want to very much?”
Mrs. Alsager was silent for a moment; then she asked, somewhat off-topic, as if she had just come back from daydreaming: “Does she want to really much?”
“Tremendously—and it appears she has been fascinated by the part from the first.”
“Tremendously—and it seems she has been intrigued by the role from the start.”
“Why then didn’t she say so?”
“Why didn’t she just say that?”
“Oh, because she’s so funny.”
“Oh, because she’s hilarious.”
“She is funny,” said Mrs. Alsager, musingly; and presently she added: “She’s in love with you.”
“She is funny,” said Mrs. Alsager, thoughtfully; and soon after she added: “She’s in love with you.”
Wayworth stared, blushed very red, then laughed out. “What is there funny in that?” he demanded; but before his interlocutress could satisfy him on this point he inquired, further, how she knew anything about it. After a little graceful evasion she explained that the night before, at the “Legitimate,” Mrs. Beaumont, the wife of the actor-manager, had paid her a visit in her box; which had happened, in the course of their brief gossip, to lead to her remarking that she had never been “behind.” Mrs. Beaumont offered on the spot to take her round, and the fancy had seized her to accept the invitation. She had been amused for the moment, and in this way it befell that her conductress, at her request, had introduced her to Miss Violet Grey, who was waiting in the wing for one of her scenes. Mrs. Beaumont had been called away for three minutes, and during this scrap of time, face to face with the actress, she had discovered the poor girl’s secret. Wayworth qualified it as a senseless thing, but wished to know what had led to the discovery. She characterised this inquiry as superficial for a painter of the ways of women; and he doubtless didn’t improve it by remarking profanely that a cat might look at a king and that such things were convenient to know. Even on this ground, however, he was threatened by Mrs. Alsager, who contended that it might not be a joking matter to the poor girl. To this Wayworth, who now professed to hate talking about the passions he might have inspired, could only reply that he meant it couldn’t make a difference to Mrs. Alsager.
Wayworth stared, turned bright red, then burst out laughing. “What’s so funny about that?” he asked; but before she could answer him, he further questioned how she knew anything about it. After a little charming evasion, she explained that the night before, at the “Legitimate,” Mrs. Beaumont, the wife of the actor-manager, had visited her in her box, which led to them briefly gossiping about how she had never been “behind” the scenes. Mrs. Beaumont immediately offered to take her for a tour, and on a whim, she decided to accept the invitation. She had found it amusing for a moment, and as a result, her guide had introduced her to Miss Violet Grey, who was waiting in the wings for one of her scenes. Mrs. Beaumont had been called away for three minutes, and during that short time, face to face with the actress, she had uncovered the poor girl’s secret. Wayworth dismissed it as a silly thing but wanted to know what had led to the discovery. She called this question shallow for someone who paints the nuances of women; and he certainly didn’t help by remarking irreverently that a cat might look at a king and that such things were useful to know. Even on that basis, though, he was rebuked by Mrs. Alsager, who argued that it might not be a joking matter for the poor girl. To this, Wayworth, who claimed to dislike discussing the feelings he might have triggered, could only respond that it shouldn’t matter to Mrs. Alsager.
“How in the world do you know what makes a difference to me?” this lady asked, with incongruous coldness, with a haughtiness indeed remarkable in so gentle a spirit.
“How do you even know what matters to me?” this woman asked, with an oddly cold demeanor, showing a remarkable haughtiness for such a gentle person.
He saw Violet Grey that night at the theatre, and it was she who spoke first of her having lately met a friend of his.
He saw Violet Grey that night at the theater, and she was the one who first mentioned having recently met one of his friends.
“She’s in love with you,” the actress said, after he had made a show of ignorance; “doesn’t that tell you anything?”
“She’s in love with you,” the actress said, after he pretended not to know; “doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
He blushed redder still than Mrs. Alsager had made him blush, but replied, quickly enough and very adequately, that hundreds of women were naturally dying for him.
He blushed even deeper than when Mrs. Alsager had made him blush, but quickly replied, quite adequately, that hundreds of women were naturally dying for him.
“Oh, I don’t care, for you’re not in love with her!” the girl continued.
“Oh, I don’t care, because you’re not in love with her!” the girl kept saying.
“Did she tell you that too?” Wayworth asked; but she had at that moment to go on.
“Did she tell you that too?” Wayworth asked, but she had to continue at that moment.
Standing where he could see her he thought that on this occasion she threw into her scene, which was the best she had in the play, a brighter art than ever before, a talent that could play with its problem. She was perpetually doing things out of rehearsal (she did two or three to-night, in the other man’s piece), that he as often wished to heaven Nona Vincent might have the benefit of. She appeared to be able to do them for every one but him—that is for every one but Nona. He was conscious, in these days, of an odd new feeling, which mixed (this was a part of its oddity) with a very natural and comparatively old one and which in its most definite form was a dull ache of regret that this young lady’s unlucky star should have placed her on the stage. He wished in his worst uneasiness that, without going further, she would give it up; and yet it soothed that uneasiness to remind himself that he saw grounds to hope she would go far enough to make a marked success of Nona. There were strange and painful moments when, as the interpretress of Nona, he almost hated her; after which, however, he always assured himself that he exaggerated, inasmuch as what made this aversion seem great, when he was nervous, was simply its contrast with the growing sense that there were grounds—totally different—on which she pleased him. She pleased him as a charming creature—by her sincerities and her perversities, by the varieties and surprises of her character and by certain happy facts of her person. In private her eyes were sad to him and her voice was rare. He detested the idea that she should have a disappointment or an humiliation, and he wanted to rescue her altogether, to save and transplant her. One way to save her was to see to it, to the best of his ability, that the production of his play should be a triumph; and the other way—it was really too queer to express—was almost to wish that it shouldn’t be. Then, for the future, there would be safety and peace, and not the peace of death—the peace of a different life. It is to be added that our young man clung to the former of these ways in proportion as the latter perversely tempted him. He was nervous at the best, increasingly and intolerably nervous; but the immediate remedy was to rehearse harder and harder, and above all to work it out with Violet Grey. Some of her comrades reproached him with working it out only with her, as if she were the whole affair; to which he replied that they could afford to be neglected, they were all so tremendously good. She was the only person concerned whom he didn’t flatter.
Standing where he could see her, he thought that this time she added a brighter touch to her performance, which was the best she had in the play, showcasing a talent that could tackle its challenges. She constantly did things off script (she did two or three tonight in the other guy’s piece) that he often wished Nona Vincent could benefit from. It seemed she could do them for everyone but him—that is, for everyone but Nona. Lately, he felt a strange new emotion, which oddly intertwined with a more familiar one, and at its most intense, it manifested as a dull ache of regret that this young woman’s unfortunate fate had her on stage. In his worst moments of anxiety, he wished she would just give it up; yet it calmed him to remind himself that he saw reasons to hope she would achieve enough to make a significant success for Nona. There were weird and painful moments when, as the interpreter of Nona, he almost hated her; but afterward, he always reassured himself that he was exaggerating, since what heightened this aversion when he was anxious was just its contrast with the growing realization that there were totally different reasons she pleased him. She pleased him as a lovely person—through her honesty and quirks, the variety and surprises of her character, and certain delightful aspects of her looks. In private, her eyes seemed sad to him and her voice unique. He hated the idea that she could face disappointment or humiliation, and he wanted to rescue her completely, to save and move her away from it all. One way to save her was to ensure, as best he could, that the production of his play would be a success; and the other way—it was really too strange to say—was almost to wish it wouldn’t be. Then, for the future, there would be safety and peace, but not the peace of death—rather the peace of a different kind of life. It’s worth noting that our young man leaned towards the first option as the second one strangely tempted him. He was nervous at the best of times, more and more unbearably so; but the immediate solution was to rehearse harder and harder, and especially to work things out with Violet Grey. Some of her colleagues criticized him for only working things out with her, as if she were the entire production; to which he responded that they could afford to be sidelined since they were all incredibly talented. She was the only person involved whom he didn’t flatter.
The author and the actress stuck so to the business in hand that she had very little time to speak to him again of Mrs. Alsager, of whom indeed her imagination appeared adequately to have disposed. Wayworth once remarked to her that Nona Vincent was supposed to be a good deal like his charming friend; but she gave a blank “Supposed by whom?” in consequence of which he never returned to the subject. He confided his nervousness as freely as usual to Mrs. Alsager, who easily understood that he had a peculiar complication of anxieties. His suspense varied in degree from hour to hour, but any relief there might have been in this was made up for by its being of several different kinds. One afternoon, as the first performance drew near, Mrs. Alsager said to him, in giving him his cup of tea and on his having mentioned that he had not closed his eyes the night before:
The author and the actress were so focused on the task at hand that she barely had time to talk to him again about Mrs. Alsager, whom her imagination seemed to have already settled. Wayworth once mentioned to her that Nona Vincent was said to resemble his lovely friend, but she simply replied, “Said by whom?” After that, he didn’t bring it up again. He shared his nervousness openly with Mrs. Alsager, who easily grasped that he was dealing with a unique mix of anxieties. His tension fluctuated from hour to hour, but any relief he might have felt was overshadowed by the fact that it came in several different forms. One afternoon, as the first performance was approaching, Mrs. Alsager handed him his cup of tea, noting that he hadn’t slept at all the night before.
“You must indeed be in a dreadful state. Anxiety for another is still worse than anxiety for one’s self.”
"You must really be in a terrible situation. Worrying about someone else is even worse than worrying about yourself."
“For another?” Wayworth repeated, looking at her over the rim of his cup.
“For another?” Wayworth repeated, looking at her over the edge of his cup.
“My poor friend, you’re nervous about Nona Vincent, but you’re infinitely more nervous about Violet Grey.”
“My poor friend, you’re worried about Nona Vincent, but you’re way more anxious about Violet Grey.”
“She is Nona Vincent!”
"She is Nona Vincent!"
“No, she isn’t—not a bit!” said Mrs. Alsager, abruptly.
“No, she isn’t—not at all!” said Mrs. Alsager, sharply.
“Do you really think so?” Wayworth cried, spilling his tea in his alarm.
“Do you really think so?” Wayworth exclaimed, spilling his tea in his surprise.
“What I think doesn’t signify—I mean what I think about that. What I meant to say was that great as is your suspense about your play, your suspense about your actress is greater still.”
“What I think doesn’t matter—I mean what I think about that. What I really meant to say is that as much suspense as you have about your play, your suspense about your actress is even greater.”
“I can only repeat that my actress is my play.”
“I can only say again that my actress is my play.”
Mrs. Alsager looked thoughtfully into the teapot.
Mrs. Alsager gazed thoughtfully into the teapot.
“Your actress is your—”
"Your actor is your—"
“My what?” the young man asked, with a little tremor in his voice, as his hostess paused.
“My what?” the young man asked, his voice trembling slightly, as his hostess paused.
“Your very dear friend. You’re in love with her—at present.” And with a sharp click Mrs. Alsager dropped the lid on the fragrant receptacle.
“Your very dear friend. You’re in love with her—right now.” And with a quick click, Mrs. Alsager shut the lid on the fragrant container.
“Not yet—not yet!” laughed her visitor.
“Not yet—not yet!” her visitor laughed.
“You will be if she pulls you through.”
“You will be if she gets you through.”
“You declare that she won’t pull me through.”
“You're saying that she won’t help me out.”
Mrs. Alsager was silent a moment, after which she softly murmured: “I’ll pray for her.”
Mrs. Alsager was quiet for a moment, then softly said, “I’ll pray for her.”
“You’re the most generous of women!” Wayworth cried; then coloured as if the words had not been happy. They would have done indeed little honour to a man of tact.
“You’re the most generous of women!” Wayworth exclaimed, then blushed as if his words hadn’t landed well. They would have brought little respect to a man with good sense.
The next morning he received five hurried lines from Mrs. Alsager. She had suddenly been called to Torquay, to see a relation who was seriously ill; she should be detained there several days, but she had an earnest hope of being able to return in time for his first night. In any event he had her unrestricted good wishes. He missed her extremely, for these last days were a great strain and there was little comfort to be derived from Violet Grey. She was even more nervous than himself, and so pale and altered that he was afraid she would be too ill to act. It was settled between them that they made each other worse and that he had now much better leave her alone. They had pulled Nona so to pieces that nothing seemed left of her—she must at least have time to grow together again. He left Violet Grey alone, to the best of his ability, but she carried out imperfectly her own side of the bargain. She came to him with new questions—she waited for him with old doubts, and half an hour before the last dress-rehearsal, on the eve of production, she proposed to him a totally fresh rendering of his heroine. This incident gave him such a sense of insecurity that he turned his back on her without a word, bolted out of the theatre, dashed along the Strand and walked as far as the Bank. Then he jumped into a hansom and came westward, and when he reached the theatre again the business was nearly over. It appeared, almost to his disappointment, not bad enough to give him the consolation of the old playhouse adage that the worst dress-rehearsals make the best first nights.
The next morning, he received a quick message from Mrs. Alsager. She had been unexpectedly called to Torquay to see a relative who was seriously ill. She expected to be there for several days but held out hope of returning in time for his first night. In any case, he had her full support. He missed her a lot because these last few days had been very stressful, and there was little comfort from Violet Grey. She was even more anxious than he was, and so pale and changed that he worried she wouldn’t be able to perform. They agreed that they were making each other worse and that it would be best for him to leave her alone. They had picked Nona apart so much that she needed time to piece herself back together. He tried to give Violet Grey space, but she didn’t quite do her part in the agreement. She came to him with new questions and was waiting for him with old doubts. Half an hour before the final dress rehearsal, just before the show, she suggested an entirely new interpretation of his heroine. This unexpected development left him feeling so insecure that he turned away from her without a word, rushed out of the theater, ran along the Strand, and walked all the way to the Bank. Then he jumped into a cab and headed west, and when he got back to the theater, most of the work was nearly done. To his disappointment, it seemed not bad enough to give him the comfort of the old saying that the worst dress rehearsals lead to the best opening nights.
The morrow, which was a Wednesday, was the dreadful day; the theatre had been closed on the Monday and the Tuesday. Every one, on the Wednesday, did his best to let every one else alone, and every one signally failed in the attempt. The day, till seven o’clock, was understood to be consecrated to rest, but every one except Violet Grey turned up at the theatre. Wayworth looked at Mr. Loder, and Mr. Loder looked in another direction, which was as near as they came to conversation. Wayworth was in a fidget, unable to eat or sleep or sit still, at times almost in terror. He kept quiet by keeping, as usual, in motion; he tried to walk away from his nervousness. He walked in the afternoon toward Notting Hill, but he succeeded in not breaking the vow he had taken not to meddle with his actress. She was like an acrobat poised on a slippery ball—if he should touch her she would topple over. He passed her door three times and he thought of her three hundred. This was the hour at which he most regretted that Mrs. Alsager had not come back—for he had called at her house only to learn that she was still at Torquay. This was probably queer, and it was probably queerer still that she hadn’t written to him; but even of these things he wasn’t sure, for in losing, as he had now completely lost, his judgment of his play, he seemed to himself to have lost his judgment of everything. When he went home, however, he found a telegram from the lady of Grosvenor Place—“Shall be able to come—reach town by seven.” At half-past eight o’clock, through a little aperture in the curtain of the “Renaissance,” he saw her in her box with a cluster of friends—completely beautiful and beneficent. The house was magnificent—too good for his play, he felt; too good for any play. Everything now seemed too good—the scenery, the furniture, the dresses, the very programmes. He seized upon the idea that this was probably what was the matter with the representative of Nona—she was only too good. He had completely arranged with this young lady the plan of their relations during the evening; and though they had altered everything else that they had arranged they had promised each other not to alter this. It was wonderful the number of things they had promised each other. He would start her, he would see her off—then he would quit the theatre and stay away till just before the end. She besought him to stay away—it would make her infinitely easier. He saw that she was exquisitely dressed—she had made one or two changes for the better since the night before, and that seemed something definite to turn over and over in his mind as he rumbled foggily home in the four-wheeler in which, a few steps from the stage-door, he had taken refuge as soon as he knew that the curtain was up. He lived a couple of miles off, and he had chosen a four-wheeler to drag out the time.
The next day, which was Wednesday, was the dreadful day; the theater had been closed on Monday and Tuesday. Everyone, on Wednesday, tried to avoid each other, and everyone notably failed at that. The day, until seven o'clock, was supposed to be reserved for rest, but everyone except Violet Grey showed up at the theater. Wayworth glanced at Mr. Loder, and Mr. Loder looked away, which was as close as they got to having a conversation. Wayworth was restless, unable to eat, sleep, or sit still, feeling almost terrified at times. He stayed quiet by staying, as usual, in motion; he tried to walk away from his anxiety. He walked in the afternoon toward Notting Hill, but he managed to keep his vow not to interact with his actress. She was like an acrobat balancing on a slippery ball—if he touched her, she would fall. He passed her door three times and thought of her three hundred times. This was when he most regretted that Mrs. Alsager hadn’t returned—he had visited her house only to find out she was still in Torquay. This seemed odd, and even odder that she hadn’t written to him; but about these things, he wasn’t sure, because in losing, as he now completely had, his judgment about his play, he felt he had lost his judgment about everything. However, when he got home, he found a telegram from the lady of Grosvenor Place—“Shall be able to come—reach town by seven.” At half-past eight, through a small gap in the curtain of the “Renaissance,” he saw her in her box with a group of friends—absolutely beautiful and radiant. The theater was splendid—too good for his play, he thought; too good for any play. Everything now seemed too good—the scenery, the furniture, the costumes, even the programs. He seized on the idea that this was probably what was wrong with the representative of Nona—she was just too perfect. He had completely arranged with this young lady how they would relate during the evening; and although they had changed everything else they’d planned, they had promised each other not to change this. It was remarkable how many things they had promised each other. He would start her off, see her safely off—then he would leave the theater and stay away until just before the end. She asked him to stay away—it would make her feel much easier. He saw that she was exquisitely dressed—she had made a couple of improvements since the night before, and that was something definite to ponder as he bumbled foggily home in the cab he had taken a few steps from the stage door as soon as he realized the curtain was up. He lived a couple of miles away, and he had chosen a cab to pass the time.
When he got home his fire was out, his room was cold, and he lay down on his sofa in his overcoat. He had sent his landlady to the dress-circle, on purpose; she would overflow with words and mistakes. The house seemed a black void, just as the streets had done—every one was, formidably, at his play. He was quieter at last than he had been for a fortnight, and he felt too weak even to wonder how the thing was going. He believed afterwards that he had slept an hour; but even if he had he felt it to be still too early to return to the theatre. He sat down by his lamp and tried to read—to read a little compendious life of a great English statesman, out of a “series.” It struck him as brilliantly clever, and he asked himself whether that perhaps were not rather the sort of thing he ought to have taken up: not the statesmanship, but the art of brief biography. Suddenly he became aware that he must hurry if he was to reach the theatre at all—it was a quarter to eleven o’clock. He scrambled out and, this time, found a hansom—he had lately spent enough money in cabs to add to his hope that the profits of his new profession would be great. His anxiety, his suspense flamed up again, and as he rattled eastward—he went fast now—he was almost sick with alternations. As he passed into the theatre the first man—some underling—who met him, cried to him, breathlessly:
When he got home, his fire was out, his room was cold, and he lay down on his sofa while still wearing his overcoat. He had sent his landlady to the dress-circle on purpose; she would be full of chatter and mistakes. The house felt like a dark void, just like the streets had—everyone else was happily preoccupied. He finally felt calmer than he had in the last two weeks, and he was too exhausted to even think about how things were going. He thought he might have slept for an hour; even if he did, it still felt too early to head back to the theater. He sat down by his lamp and tried to read a brief biography of a great English statesman from a “series.” He found it brilliantly clever and wondered if that was the kind of thing he should have pursued: not statesmanship but the art of concise biography. Suddenly, he realized he had to hurry if he was going to make it to the theater at all—it was a quarter to eleven. He hurried out and, this time, found a cab. He had spent enough money on cabs lately to feel hopeful that his new profession would be profitable. His anxiety and suspense flared up again, and as he raced eastward—going fast now—he felt almost sick with nervousness. As he entered the theater, the first person he encountered—a subordinate—exclaimed to him breathlessly:
“You’re wanted, sir—you’re wanted!” He thought his tone very ominous—he devoured the man’s eyes with his own, for a betrayal: did he mean that he was wanted for execution? Some one else pressed him, almost pushed him, forward; he was already on the stage. Then he became conscious of a sound more or less continuous, but seemingly faint and far, which he took at first for the voice of the actors heard through their canvas walls, the beautiful built-in room of the last act. But the actors were in the wing, they surrounded him; the curtain was down and they were coming off from before it. They had been called, and he was called—they all greeted him with “Go on—go on!” He was terrified—he couldn’t go on—he didn’t believe in the applause, which seemed to him only audible enough to sound half-hearted.
“You're wanted, sir—you’re wanted!” He thought his tone sounded very ominous—he stared into the man’s eyes for any sign of betrayal: did it mean he was wanted for execution? Someone else nudged him, almost pushing him, forward; he was already on the stage. Then he became aware of a sound that was continuous but seemed faint and distant, which he initially thought was the voice of the actors coming through their canvas walls, from the beautifully constructed set of the last act. But the actors were in the wings, surrounding him; the curtain was down, and they were coming off stage. They had been called, and he was called too—they all urged him with “Go on—go on!” He was terrified—he couldn’t move on—he didn’t believe in the applause, which sounded to him only half-hearted.
“Has it gone?—has it gone?” he gasped to the people round him; and he heard them say “Rather—rather!” perfunctorily, mendaciously too, as it struck him, and even with mocking laughter, the laughter of defeat and despair. Suddenly, though all this must have taken but a moment, Loder burst upon him from somewhere with a “For God’s sake don’t keep them, or they’ll stop!” “But I can’t go on for that!” Wayworth cried, in anguish; the sound seemed to him already to have ceased. Loder had hold of him and was shoving him; he resisted and looked round frantically for Violet Grey, who perhaps would tell him the truth. There was by this time a crowd in the wing, all with strange grimacing painted faces, but Violet was not among them and her very absence frightened him. He uttered her name with an accent that he afterwards regretted—it gave them, as he thought, both away; and while Loder hustled him before the curtain he heard some one say “She took her call and disappeared.” She had had a call, then—this was what was most present to the young man as he stood for an instant in the glare of the footlights, looking blindly at the great vaguely-peopled horseshoe and greeted with plaudits which now seemed to him at once louder than he deserved and feebler than he desired. They sank to rest quickly, but he felt it to be long before he could back away, before he could, in his turn, seize the manager by the arm and cry huskily—“Has it really gone—really?”
“Has it gone?—has it gone?” he gasped to the people around him; and he heard them reply “Yeah—yeah!” in a half-hearted, deceptive way, it seemed to him, and even with mocking laughter, the laughter of defeat and despair. Suddenly, even though all this must have taken only a moment, Loder appeared out of nowhere with a “For God’s sake, don’t keep them, or they’ll stop!” “But I can’t go on for that!” Wayworth cried, in anguish; the sound seemed to him like it had already stopped. Loder had a grip on him and was pushing him; he resisted and looked around frantically for Violet Grey, who might tell him the truth. By now, there was a crowd in the wing, all with strange, grimacing painted faces, but Violet was not among them, and her absence terrified him. He called out her name with a tone he would later regret—it made them, he thought, seem suspicious; and while Loder pushed him toward the curtain, he heard someone say “She took her call and disappeared.” So she had gotten a call—this was what weighed most heavily on the young man as he stood for a moment in the bright lights, looking blankly at the large, vaguely populated horseshoe and receiving applause that now felt both louder than he deserved and weaker than he wanted. It faded quickly, but he felt like it took forever before he could back away, before he could, in his turn, grab the manager's arm and ask hoarsely—“Has it really gone—really?”
Mr. Loder looked at him hard and replied after an instant: “The play’s all right!”
Mr. Loder looked at him intensely and answered after a moment, “The play’s good!”
Wayworth hung upon his lips. “Then what’s all wrong?”
Wayworth was hanging on his words. “So, what’s the issue?”
“We must do something to Miss Grey.”
“We need to do something about Miss Grey.”
“What’s the matter with her?”
"What's wrong with her?"
“She isn’t in it!”
“She isn’t in it!”
“Do you mean she has failed?”
“Are you saying she has failed?”
“Yes, damn it—she has failed.”
“Yes, damn it—she failed.”
Wayworth stared. “Then how can the play be all right?”
Wayworth stared. “So how can the play be okay?”
“Oh, we’ll save it—we’ll save it.”
“Oh, we’ll keep it—we’ll keep it.”
“Where’s Miss Grey—where is she?” the young man asked.
“Where’s Miss Grey—where is she?” the young man asked.
Loder caught his arm as he was turning away again to look for his heroine. “Never mind her now—she knows it!”
Loder grabbed his arm as he was about to turn away again to search for his heroine. "Don't worry about her right now—she gets it!"
Wayworth was approached at the same moment by a gentleman he knew as one of Mrs. Alsager’s friends—he had perceived him in that lady’s box. Mrs. Alsager was waiting there for the successful author; she desired very earnestly that he would come round and speak to her. Wayworth assured himself first that Violet had left the theatre—one of the actresses could tell him that she had seen her throw on a cloak, without changing her dress, and had learnt afterwards that she had, the next moment, flung herself, after flinging her aunt, into a cab. He had wished to invite half a dozen persons, of whom Miss Grey and her elderly relative were two, to come home to supper with him; but she had refused to make any engagement beforehand (it would be so dreadful to have to keep it if she shouldn’t have made a hit), and this attitude had blighted the pleasant plan, which fell to the ground. He had called her morbid, but she was immovable. Mrs. Alsager’s messenger let him know that he was expected to supper in Grosvenor Place, and half an hour afterwards he was seated there among complimentary people and flowers and popping corks, eating the first orderly meal he had partaken of for a week. Mrs. Alsager had carried him off in her brougham—the other people who were coming got into things of their own. He stopped her short as soon as she began to tell him how tremendously every one had been struck by the piece; he nailed her down to the question of Violet Grey. Had she spoilt the play, had she jeopardised or compromised it—had she been utterly bad, had she been good in any degree?
Wayworth was approached at the same moment by a man he recognized as one of Mrs. Alsager’s friends—he had seen him in her box. Mrs. Alsager was waiting there for the successful author; she really wanted him to come over and talk to her. Wayworth first made sure that Violet had left the theater—one of the actresses told him she had seen her put on a cloak without changing her dress, and later learned that she had, just moments later, jumped into a cab after her aunt. He had wanted to invite a few people, including Miss Grey and her elderly relative, to come over for supper with him, but she had refused to make any plans in advance (it would be so terrible to have to keep them if she didn’t make a hit), and this attitude had ruined the nice plan, which fell apart. He had called her morbid, but she remained unyielding. Mrs. Alsager’s messenger informed him that he was expected for supper in Grosvenor Place, and half an hour later he was sitting there among friendly people and flowers and popping corks, eating the first proper meal he had had in a week. Mrs. Alsager had taken him in her carriage—the other guests got into their own rides. He interrupted her as soon as she started to tell him how impressed everyone had been by the play; he pinned her down on the question of Violet Grey. Had she ruined the play, had she jeopardized or compromised it—had she been completely terrible, had she been good at all?
“Certainly the performance would have seemed better if she had been better,” Mrs. Alsager confessed.
“Of course, the performance would have seemed better if she had been better,” Mrs. Alsager admitted.
“And the play would have seemed better if the performance had been better,” Wayworth said, gloomily, from the corner of the brougham.
“And the play would have seemed better if the performance had been better,” Wayworth said, sadly, from the corner of the carriage.
“She does what she can, and she has talent, and she looked lovely. But she doesn’t see Nona Vincent. She doesn’t see the type—she doesn’t see the individual—she doesn’t see the woman you meant. She’s out of it—she gives you a different person.”
“She does what she can, she has talent, and she looked beautiful. But she doesn’t see Nona Vincent. She doesn’t see the type—she doesn’t see the individual—she doesn’t see the woman you meant. She’s not tuned in—she presented you with a different person.”
“Oh, the woman I meant!” the young man exclaimed, looking at the London lamps as he rolled by them. “I wish to God she had known you!” he added, as the carriage stopped. After they had passed into the house he said to his companion:
“Oh, the woman I was talking about!” the young man exclaimed, gazing at the London streetlights as he drove past. “I wish to God she had known you!” he added, as the carriage came to a halt. Once they entered the house, he said to his companion:
“You see she won’t pull me through.”
"You see she won't help me."
“Forgive her—be kind to her!” Mrs. Alsager pleaded.
“Forgive her—be nice to her!” Mrs. Alsager pleaded.
“I shall only thank her. The play may go to the dogs.”
“I'll just thank her. The play can go to hell.”
“If it does—if it does,” Mrs. Alsager began, with her pure eyes on him.
“If it does—if it does,” Mrs. Alsager began, with her clear eyes on him.
“Well, what if it does?”
"Well, what if it does?"
She couldn’t tell him, for the rest of her guests came in together; she only had time to say: “It sha’n’t go to the dogs!”
She couldn’t tell him, because the rest of her guests came in together; she only had time to say: “It won’t go to the dogs!”
He came away before the others, restless with the desire to go to Notting Hill even that night, late as it was, haunted with the sense that Violet Grey had measured her fall. When he got into the street, however, he allowed second thoughts to counsel another course; the effect of knocking her up at two o’clock in the morning would hardly be to soothe her. He looked at six newspapers the next day and found in them never a good word for her. They were well enough about the piece, but they were unanimous as to the disappointment caused by the young actress whose former efforts had excited such hopes and on whom, on this occasion, such pressing responsibilities rested. They asked in chorus what was the matter with her, and they declared in chorus that the play, which was not without promise, was handicapped (they all used the same word) by the odd want of correspondence between the heroine and her interpreter. Wayworth drove early to Notting Hill, but he didn’t take the newspapers with him; Violet Grey could be trusted to have sent out for them by the peep of dawn and to have fed her anguish full. She declined to see him—she only sent down word by her aunt that she was extremely unwell and should be unable to act that night unless she were suffered to spend the day unmolested and in bed. Wayworth sat for an hour with the old lady, who understood everything and to whom he could speak frankly. She gave him a touching picture of her niece’s condition, which was all the more vivid for the simple words in which it was expressed: “She feels she isn’t right, you know—she feels she isn’t right!”
He left before the others, restless and wanting to go to Notting Hill that night, even though it was late, bothered by the feeling that Violet Grey had recognized her failure. However, once he got to the street, he reconsidered; waking her up at two in the morning wouldn’t exactly help her mood. The next day, he looked at six newspapers and found not a single good word about her. They were fine with the play itself but were unanimous in expressing disappointment in the young actress, whose previous performances had raised such high hopes, especially given the tough responsibilities she faced this time. They all wondered what was wrong with her and collectively stated that the play, which had potential, was hindered (they all used the same word) by the strange disconnect between the heroine and the actress portraying her. Wayworth drove to Notting Hill early, but he didn’t take the newspapers with him; he figured Violet Grey would have sent someone to get them at dawn and would have wallowed in her distress. She refused to see him—she only sent a message through her aunt that she was very unwell and wouldn’t be able to perform that night unless she could spend the day undisturbed in bed. Wayworth spent an hour with the elderly lady, who understood everything and with whom he could speak openly. She painted a touching picture of her niece's state, which was even more powerful because of the simple words she used: “She feels she isn’t right, you know—she feels she isn’t right!”
“Tell her it doesn’t matter—it doesn’t matter a straw!” said Wayworth.
“Tell her it doesn’t matter—it doesn’t matter at all!” said Wayworth.
“And she’s so proud—you know how proud she is!” the old lady went on.
“And she’s so proud—you know how proud she is!” the old lady continued.
“Tell her I’m more than satisfied, that I accept her gratefully as she is.”
“Tell her I’m really happy, that I appreciate her just the way she is.”
“She says she injures your play, that she ruins it,” said his interlocutress.
“She says she messes up your game, that she wrecks it,” said his conversation partner.
“She’ll improve, immensely—she’ll grow into the part,” the young man continued.
“She’ll get much better—she’ll grow into the role,” the young man continued.
“She’d improve if she knew how—but she says she doesn’t. She has given all she has got, and she doesn’t know what’s wanted.”
“She’d get better if she knew how—but she says she doesn’t. She’s done everything she can, and she doesn’t know what’s needed.”
“What’s wanted is simply that she should go straight on and trust me.”
“What I need is for her to just keep going and trust me.”
“How can she trust you when she feels she’s losing you?”
“How can she trust you when she thinks she’s losing you?”
“Losing me?” Wayworth cried.
“Losing me?” Wayworth shouted.
“You’ll never forgive her if your play is taken off!”
“You’ll never forgive her if they pull your play!”
“It will run six months,” said the author of the piece.
“It will run for six months,” said the author of the piece.
The old lady laid her hand on his arm. “What will you do for her if it does?”
The old lady placed her hand on his arm. “What will you do for her if it happens?”
He looked at Violet Grey’s aunt a moment. “Do you say your niece is very proud?”
He glanced at Violet Grey's aunt for a moment. "Are you saying your niece is very proud?"
“Too proud for her dreadful profession.”
“Too proud for her awful job.”
“Then she wouldn’t wish you to ask me that,” Wayworth answered, getting up.
“Then she wouldn’t want you to ask me that,” Wayworth replied, standing up.
When he reached home he was very tired, and for a person to whom it was open to consider that he had scored a success he spent a remarkably dismal day. All his restlessness had gone, and fatigue and depression possessed him. He sank into his old chair by the fire and sat there for hours with his eyes closed. His landlady came in to bring his luncheon and mend the fire, but he feigned to be asleep, so as not to be spoken to. It is to be supposed that sleep at last overtook him, for about the hour that dusk began to gather he had an extraordinary impression, a visit that, it would seem, could have belonged to no waking consciousness. Nona Vincent, in face and form, the living heroine of his play, rose before him in his little silent room, sat down with him at his dingy fireside. She was not Violet Grey, she was not Mrs. Alsager, she was not any woman he had seen upon earth, nor was it any masquerade of friendship or of penitence. Yet she was more familiar to him than the women he had known best, and she was ineffably beautiful and consoling. She filled the poor room with her presence, the effect of which was as soothing as some odour of incense. She was as quiet as an affectionate sister, and there was no surprise in her being there. Nothing more real had ever befallen him, and nothing, somehow, more reassuring. He felt her hand rest upon his own, and all his senses seemed to open to her message. She struck him, in the strangest way, both as his creation and as his inspirer, and she gave him the happiest consciousness of success. If she was so charming, in the red firelight, in her vague, clear-coloured garments, it was because he had made her so, and yet if the weight seemed lifted from his spirit it was because she drew it away. When she bent her deep eyes upon him they seemed to speak of safety and freedom and to make a green garden of the future. From time to time she smiled and said: “I live—I live—I live.” How long she stayed he couldn’t have told, but when his landlady blundered in with the lamp Nona Vincent was no longer there. He rubbed his eyes, but no dream had ever been so intense; and as he slowly got out of his chair it was with a deep still joy—the joy of the artist—in the thought of how right he had been, how exactly like herself he had made her. She had come to show him that. At the end of five minutes, however, he felt sufficiently mystified to call his landlady back—he wanted to ask her a question. When the good woman reappeared the question hung fire an instant; then it shaped itself as the inquiry:
When he got home, he was really tired, and for someone who could consider that he had achieved success, he had a surprisingly gloomy day. All his restlessness had disappeared, and he felt overwhelmed by fatigue and sadness. He sank into his old chair by the fire and sat there for hours with his eyes closed. His landlady came in to bring him lunch and tend to the fire, but he pretended to be asleep to avoid conversation. Eventually, he must have fallen asleep because, around the time dusk began to settle, he had a remarkable experience, a visit that seemed like it couldn’t have happened while he was awake. Nona Vincent, the living heroine of his play, appeared before him in his little quiet room and sat down with him at his shabby fireside. She wasn't Violet Grey, nor was she Mrs. Alsager, or any woman he had ever seen; she wasn’t any act of friendship or regret. Yet, she felt more familiar to him than the women he knew best, and she was incredibly beautiful and comforting. She filled the shabby room with her presence, which was as soothing as the scent of incense. She was as calm as a loving sister, and her presence there didn’t surprise him at all. Nothing more real had ever happened to him, and nothing, in a strange way, felt more reassuring. He felt her hand resting on his own, and all his senses seemed to open to what she was communicating. She struck him strangely as both his creation and his muse, and she made him feel the happiest sense of success. If she looked so enchanting in the red firelight, in her soft, clear-colored clothes, it was because he had created her that way, and yet if the burden seemed lifted from his spirit, it was because she was the one who relieved it. When she looked deeply into his eyes, it felt like she was speaking of safety and freedom and transforming the future into a vibrant garden. From time to time, she smiled and said, “I live—I live—I live.” He couldn't say how long she stayed, but when his landlady walked in with the lamp, Nona Vincent was gone. He rubbed his eyes, but no dream had ever felt so real; and as he slowly got out of his chair, he felt a deep, quiet joy—the joy of the artist—in realizing how accurately he had captured her essence. She had come to show him that. After a few minutes, though, he was curious enough to call his landlady back—he wanted to ask her something. When the kind woman appeared again, he hesitated for a moment before finally forming his question:
“Has any lady been here?”
“Has any woman been here?”
“No, sir—no lady at all.”
“No, sir—no lady here.”
The woman seemed slightly scandalised. “Not Miss Vincent?”
The woman looked a bit shocked. “Not Miss Vincent?”
“Miss Vincent, sir?”
"Ms. Vincent, sir?"
“The young lady of my play, don’t you know?”
“The young woman in my play, you know?”
“Oh, sir, you mean Miss Violet Grey!”
“Oh, sir, you’re talking about Miss Violet Grey!”
“No I don’t, at all. I think I mean Mrs. Alsager.”
“No, I don’t, not at all. I think I mean Mrs. Alsager.”
“There has been no Mrs. Alsager, sir.”
“There hasn’t been a Mrs. Alsager, sir.”
“Nor anybody at all like her?”
“Or is there anyone else at all like her?”
The woman looked at him as if she wondered what had suddenly taken him. Then she asked in an injured tone: “Why shouldn’t I have told you if you’d ’ad callers, sir?”
The woman looked at him as if she was trying to figure out what had suddenly come over him. Then she asked in a hurt tone, “Why shouldn’t I have told you if you had callers, sir?”
“I thought you might have thought I was asleep.”
“I thought you might have thought I was sleeping.”
“Indeed you were, sir, when I came in with the lamp—and well you’d earned it, Mr. Wayworth!”
“Actually, you were, sir, when I walked in with the lamp—and you totally earned it, Mr. Wayworth!”
The landlady came back an hour later to bring him a telegram; it was just as he had begun to dress to dine at his club and go down to the theatre.
The landlady returned an hour later to deliver a telegram; it was just when he had started to get ready for dinner at his club and head to the theater.
“See me to-night in front, and don’t come near me till it’s over.”
“Meet me in front tonight, and don’t come near me until it’s done.”
It was in these words that Violet communicated her wishes for the evening. He obeyed them to the letter; he watched her from the depths of a box. He was in no position to say how she might have struck him the night before, but what he saw during these charmed hours filled him with admiration and gratitude. She was in it, this time; she had pulled herself together, she had taken possession, she was felicitous at every turn. Fresh from his revelation of Nona he was in a position to judge, and as he judged he exulted. He was thrilled and carried away, and he was moreover intensely curious to know what had happened to her, by what unfathomable art she had managed in a few hours to effect such a change of base. It was as if she had had a revelation of Nona, so convincing a clearness had been breathed upon the picture. He kept himself quiet in the entr’actes—he would speak to her only at the end; but before the play was half over the manager burst into his box.
It was with these words that Violet expressed her plans for the evening. He followed them exactly; he watched her from the back of a box. He couldn’t really say how she might have affected him the night before, but what he saw during these enchanting hours filled him with admiration and gratitude. She was in it this time; she had composed herself, taken control, and seemed happy at every moment. Fresh from his realization about Nona, he was in a position to judge, and as he judged, he felt exhilarated. He was excited and swept away, and he was also intensely curious about what had happened to her—how she had somehow pulled off such a significant change in just a few hours. It was as if she had experienced a revelation about Nona, so remarkably clear was the difference in her. He kept himself composed during the breaks—he would only talk to her at the end; but before the play was halfway through, the manager burst into his box.
“It’s prodigious, what she’s up to!” cried Mr. Loder, almost more bewildered than gratified. “She has gone in for a new reading—a blessed somersault in the air!”
“It’s amazing, what she’s doing!” cried Mr. Loder, almost more confused than pleased. “She’s taken on a new interpretation—a fantastic flip in the air!”
“Is it quite different?” Wayworth asked, sharing his mystification.
"Is it really that different?" Wayworth asked, expressing his confusion.
“Different? Hyperion to a satyr! It’s devilish good, my boy!”
“Different? Hyperion to a satyr! It’s incredibly good, my friend!”
“It’s devilish good,” said Wayworth, “and it’s in a different key altogether from the key of her rehearsal.”
“It’s incredibly good,” said Wayworth, “and it’s in a completely different key from the one she was rehearsing.”
“I’ll run you six months!” the manager declared; and he rushed round again to the actress, leaving Wayworth with a sense that she had already pulled him through. She had with the audience an immense personal success.
“I’ll keep you for six months!” the manager announced; and he quickly went back to the actress, leaving Wayworth with the feeling that she had already saved him. She had achieved a tremendous personal success with the audience.
When he went behind, at the end, he had to wait for her; she only showed herself when she was ready to leave the theatre. Her aunt had been in her dressing-room with her, and the two ladies appeared together. The girl passed him quickly, motioning him to say nothing till they should have got out of the place. He saw that she was immensely excited, lifted altogether above her common artistic level. The old lady said to him: “You must come home to supper with us: it has been all arranged.” They had a brougham, with a little third seat, and he got into it with them. It was a long time before the actress would speak. She leaned back in her corner, giving no sign but still heaving a little, like a subsiding sea, and with all her triumph in the eyes that shone through the darkness. The old lady was hushed to awe, or at least to discretion, and Wayworth was happy enough to wait. He had really to wait till they had alighted at Notting Hill, where the elder of his companions went to see that supper had been attended to.
When he went around back at the end, he had to wait for her; she only showed up when she was ready to leave the theater. Her aunt had been in her dressing room with her, and the two ladies came out together. The girl passed him quickly, signaling him to stay quiet until they got out of the place. He could see she was really excited, totally elevated above her usual artistic self. The older woman said to him, “You have to come home for dinner with us; it’s all been arranged.” They had a carriage with a small third seat, and he climbed in with them. It took a while before the actress spoke. She leaned back in her corner, showing no sign but still a bit restless, like the calm after a storm, with all her victory shining in her eyes through the darkness. The older woman was quiet, either in awe or at least choosing her words carefully, and Wayworth was more than happy to wait. He really had to wait until they arrived at Notting Hill, where the older of his companions went to make sure dinner was ready.
“I was better—I was better,” said Violet Grey, throwing off her cloak in the little drawing-room.
“I was better—I was better,” said Violet Grey, tossing off her cloak in the small living room.
“You were perfection. You’ll be like that every night, won’t you?”
“You were perfect. You'll be like that every night, right?”
She smiled at him. “Every night? There can scarcely be a miracle every day.”
She smiled at him. “Every night? There can't possibly be a miracle every day.”
“What do you mean by a miracle?”
“What do you mean by a miracle?”
“I’ve had a revelation.”
“I’ve had an epiphany.”
Wayward stared. “At what hour?”
Wayward stared. "What time?"
“The right hour—this afternoon. Just in time to save me—and to save you.”
“The right time—this afternoon. Just in time to save me—and to save you.”
“At five o’clock? Do you mean you had a visit?”
“At five o’clock? You’re saying you had a visit?”
“She came to me—she stayed two hours.”
“She came to me—she stayed for two hours.”
“Two hours? Nona Vincent?”
“Two hours? Nona Vin
“Mrs. Alsager.” Violet Grey smiled more deeply. “It’s the same thing.”
“Mrs. Alsager.” Violet Grey smiled more broadly. “It’s the same thing.”
“And how did Mrs. Alsager save you?”
“And how did Mrs. Alsager come to your rescue?”
“By letting me look at her. By letting me hear her speak. By letting me know her.”
“By allowing me to see her. By allowing me to hear her speak. By allowing me to understand her.”
“And what did she say to you?”
“And what did she say to you?”
“Kind things—encouraging, intelligent things.”
“Kind, encouraging, smart things.”
“Ah, the dear woman!” Wayworth cried.
“Ah, the dear woman!” Wayworth exclaimed.
“You ought to like her—she likes you. She was just what I wanted,” the actress added.
“You should like her—she likes you. She was exactly what I wanted,” the actress added.
“Do you mean she talked to you about Nona?”
“Are you saying she talked to you about Nona?”
“She said you thought she was like her. She is—she’s exquisite.”
“She said you thought she was like her. She is—she’s amazing.”
“She’s exquisite,” Wayworth repeated. “Do you mean she tried to coach you?”
“She’s amazing,” Wayworth repeated. “Are you saying she tried to coach you?”
“Oh, no—she only said she would be so glad if it would help me to see her. And I felt it did help me. I don’t know what took place—she only sat there, and she held my hand and smiled at me, and she had tact and grace, and she had goodness and beauty, and she soothed my nerves and lighted up my imagination. Somehow she seemed to give it all to me. I took it—I took it. I kept her before me, I drank her in. For the first time, in the whole study of the part, I had my model—I could make my copy. All my courage came back to me, and other things came that I hadn’t felt before. She was different—she was delightful; as I’ve said, she was a revelation. She kissed me when she went away—and you may guess if I kissed her. We were awfully affectionate, but it’s you she likes!” said Violet Grey.
“Oh, no—she just said she’d be really happy if it helped me to see her. And I felt like it did help me. I don’t know what happened—she just sat there, held my hand, and smiled at me. She had so much tact and grace, along with goodness and beauty, and she calmed my nerves and inspired my imagination. Somehow, it felt like she was giving it all to me. I accepted it—I accepted it. I kept her in my mind, soaking her in. For the first time, in the whole study of the role, I had my model—I could make my copy. All my courage came back, and other feelings came that I hadn’t experienced before. She was different—she was delightful; as I said, she was a revelation. She kissed me when she left—and you can guess I kissed her. We were incredibly affectionate, but it’s you she likes!” said Violet Grey.
Wayworth had never been more interested in his life, and he had rarely been more mystified. “Did she wear vague, clear-coloured garments?” he asked, after a moment.
Wayworth had never been more engaged in his life, and he had rarely been more puzzled. “Did she wear loose, light-colored clothes?” he asked after a moment.
Violet Grey stared, laughed, then bade him go in to supper. “You know how she dresses!”
Violet Grey stared, laughed, then told him to go in for dinner. “You know how she dresses!”
He was very well pleased at supper, but he was silent and a little solemn. He said he would go to see Mrs. Alsager the next day. He did so, but he was told at her door that she had returned to Torquay. She remained there all winter, all spring, and the next time he saw her his play had run two hundred nights and he had married Violet Grey. His plays sometimes succeed, but his wife is not in them now, nor in any others. At these representations Mrs. Alsager continues frequently to be present.
He was really happy at dinner, but he was quiet and a bit serious. He mentioned that he would visit Mrs. Alsager the next day. He did, but when he arrived, he was told she had gone back to Torquay. She stayed there all winter and spring, and the next time he saw her, his play had run for two hundred nights, and he had married Violet Grey. His plays sometimes do well, but his wife isn’t in them now, nor in any of the others. Mrs. Alsager still often attends these performances.
p. 181THE CHAPERON.
I.
An old lady, in a high drawing-room, had had her chair moved close to the fire, where she sat knitting and warming her knees. She was dressed in deep mourning; her face had a faded nobleness, tempered, however, by the somewhat illiberal compression assumed by her lips in obedience to something that was passing in her mind. She was far from the lamp, but though her eyes were fixed upon her active needles she was not looking at them. What she really saw was quite another train of affairs. The room was spacious and dim; the thick London fog had oozed into it even through its superior defences. It was full of dusky, massive, valuable things. The old lady sat motionless save for the regularity of her clicking needles, which seemed as personal to her and as expressive as prolonged fingers. If she was thinking something out, she was thinking it thoroughly.
An old woman, in an elegant living room, had her chair pulled close to the fire, where she sat knitting and warming her legs. She was dressed in deep mourning; her face had a faded dignity, though it was softened by the tight expression of her lips due to something weighing on her mind. She was far from the lamp, but even though her eyes were fixed on her busy needles, she wasn't really looking at them. What she was truly focused on was an entirely different train of thought. The room was spacious and dim; thick London fog had seeped in despite its better defenses. It was filled with dark, heavy, valuable items. The old woman sat still except for the rhythmic clicking of her needles, which seemed as much a part of her as her fingers. If she was working through a thought, she was doing it thoroughly.
When she looked up, on the entrance of a girl of twenty, it might have been guessed that the appearance of this young lady was not an interruption of her meditation, but rather a contribution to it. The young lady, who was charming to behold, was also in deep mourning, which had a freshness, if mourning can be fresh, an air of having been lately put on. She went straight to the bell beside the chimney-piece and pulled it, while in her other hand she held a sealed and directed letter. Her companion glanced in silence at the letter; then she looked still harder at her work. The girl hovered near the fireplace, without speaking, and after a due, a dignified interval the butler appeared in response to the bell. The time had been sufficient to make the silence between the ladies seem long. The younger one asked the butler to see that her letter should be posted; and after he had gone out she moved vaguely about the room, as if to give her grandmother—for such was the elder personage—a chance to begin a colloquy of which she herself preferred not to strike the first note. As equally with herself her companion was on the face of it capable of holding out, the tension, though it was already late in the evening, might have lasted long. But the old lady after a little appeared to recognise, a trifle ungraciously, the girl’s superior resources.
When she looked up, at the arrival of a twenty-year-old girl, it might have been assumed that the young lady's presence was not an interruption to her thoughts but rather a part of them. The young lady, who was lovely to look at, was also in deep mourning, which had a freshness, if mourning can be considered fresh, an impression of having been recently put on. She went straight to the bell next to the fireplace and rang it, while holding a sealed and addressed letter in her other hand. Her companion glanced silently at the letter; then she focused even more intently on her work. The girl hovered near the fireplace, without speaking, and after a proper, dignified moment the butler arrived in response to the bell. The time had been enough to make the silence between the two women feel long. The younger one asked the butler to make sure her letter was mailed; and after he left she wandered aimlessly around the room, as if to give her grandmother—for that was the elder woman—a chance to start a conversation, which she preferred not to initiate herself. As equally as she herself, her companion appeared capable of holding out, and although it was already late in the evening, the tension might have lasted a while. But the old lady eventually seemed to acknowledge, somewhat ungraciously, the girl's superior skills.
“Have you written to your mother?”
“Have you talked to your mom?”
“Yes, but only a few lines, to tell her I shall come and see her in the morning.”
“Yes, but just a few lines to let her know I’ll come see her in the morning.”
“Is that all you’ve got to say?” asked the grandmother.
“Is that everything you have to say?” the grandmother asked.
“I don’t quite know what you want me to say.”
“I’m not really sure what you want me to say.”
“I want you to say that you’ve made up your mind.”
“I want you to say that you’ve made your decision.”
“Yes, I’ve done that, granny.”
“Yes, I’ve done that, Grandma.”
“You intend to respect your father’s wishes?”
“Do you plan to respect your father's wishes?”
“It depends upon what you mean by respecting them. I do justice to the feelings by which they were dictated.”
“It depends on what you mean by respecting them. I honor the feelings that inspired them.”
“What do you mean by justice?” the old lady retorted.
“What do you mean by justice?” the old lady shot back.
The girl was silent a moment; then she said: “You’ll see my idea of it.”
The girl paused for a moment, then said: "You’ll see what I mean."
“I see it already! You’ll go and live with her.”
“I see it already! You’re going to go and live with her.”
“I shall talk the situation over with her to-morrow and tell her that I think that will be best.”
“I'll discuss the situation with her tomorrow and let her know that I think that will be the best approach.”
“Best for her, no doubt!”
“Definitely best for her!”
“What’s best for her is best for me.”
“What’s best for her is best for me.”
“And for your brother and sister?” As the girl made no reply to this her grandmother went on: “What’s best for them is that you should acknowledge some responsibility in regard to them and, considering how young they are, try and do something for them.”
“And what about your brother and sister?” The girl didn’t respond, so her grandmother continued: “What’s best for them is for you to take some responsibility towards them and, given how young they are, make an effort to help them.”
“They must do as I’ve done—they must act for themselves. They have their means now, and they’re free.”
“They need to do what I did—they have to take action for themselves. They have their own resources now, and they’re free.”
“Free? They’re mere children.”
"Free? They're just kids."
“Let me remind you that Eric is older than I.”
“Just a reminder that Eric is older than me.”
“He doesn’t like his mother,” said the old lady, as if that were an answer.
“He doesn’t like his mom,” said the old lady, as if that were a response.
“I never said he did. And she adores him.”
“I never said he did. And she loves him.”
“Oh, your mother’s adorations!”
“Oh, your mom’s praises!”
“Don’t abuse her now,” the girl rejoined, after a pause.
“Don’t mistreat her now,” the girl replied, after a pause.
The old lady forbore to abuse her, but she made up for it the next moment by saying: “It will be dreadful for Edith.”
The old lady held back from criticizing her, but she quickly made up for it by saying, “It’s going to be terrible for Edith.”
“What will be dreadful?”
"What will be terrible?"
“Your desertion of her.”
"Your abandonment of her."
“The desertion’s on her side.”
“She’s the one who deserted.”
“Her consideration for her father does her honour.”
“Her thoughtfulness toward her father brings her respect.”
“Of course I’m a brute, n’en parlons plus,” said the girl. “We must go our respective ways,” she added, in a tone of extreme wisdom and philosophy.
“Of course I’m a savage, let’s not dwell on it,” said the girl. “We need to go our separate ways,” she added, with a tone of deep wisdom and philosophy.
Her grandmother straightened out her knitting and began to roll it up. “Be so good as to ring for my maid,” she said, after a minute. The young lady rang, and there was another wait and another conscious hush. Before the maid came her mistress remarked: “Of course then you’ll not come to me, you know.”
Her grandmother tidied her knitting and started to pack it away. “Please ring for my maid,” she said after a moment. The young lady rang the bell, and there was another wait and another noticeable silence. Before the maid arrived, her mistress said, “Of course, you won't come to me, you know.”
“What do you mean by ‘coming’ to you?”
“What do you mean by ‘coming’ to you?”
“I can’t receive you on that footing.”
“I can’t agree to that.”
“She’ll not come with me, if you mean that.”
“She’s not coming with me, if that’s what you mean.”
“I don’t mean that,” said the old lady, getting up as her maid came in. This attendant took her work from her, gave her an arm and helped her out of the room, while Rose Tramore, standing before the fire and looking into it, faced the idea that her grandmother’s door would now under all circumstances be closed to her. She lost no time however in brooding over this anomaly: it only added energy to her determination to act. All she could do to-night was to go to bed, for she felt utterly weary. She had been living, in imagination, in a prospective struggle, and it had left her as exhausted as a real fight. Moreover this was the culmination of a crisis, of weeks of suspense, of a long, hard strain. Her father had been laid in his grave five days before, and that morning his will had been read. In the afternoon she had got Edith off to St. Leonard’s with their aunt Julia, and then she had had a wretched talk with Eric. Lastly, she had made up her mind to act in opposition to the formidable will, to a clause which embodied if not exactly a provision, a recommendation singularly emphatic. She went to bed and slept the sleep of the just.
“I don’t mean that,” said the old lady, getting up as her maid entered. This attendant took her work, offered her an arm, and helped her out of the room, while Rose Tramore, standing in front of the fire and staring into it, confronted the reality that her grandmother’s door would now always be closed to her. She didn’t waste time dwelling on this oddity: it only fueled her determination to take action. All she could do that night was go to bed, as she felt completely drained. She had been living, in her mind, in a potential struggle, and it had left her as tired as a real fight. Moreover, this was the peak of a crisis, after weeks of uncertainty, and a long, hard strain. Her father had been buried five days earlier, and that morning his will had been read. In the afternoon, she had sent Edith off to St. Leonard’s with their aunt Julia, and then she had a difficult conversation with Eric. Finally, she had resolved to act against the powerful will, to a clause that was not exactly a provision, but a notably strong recommendation. She went to bed and slept soundly.
“Oh, my dear, how charming! I must take another house!” It was in these words that her mother responded to the announcement Rose had just formally made and with which she had vaguely expected to produce a certain dignity of effect. In the way of emotion there was apparently no effect at all, and the girl was wise enough to know that this was not simply on account of the general line of non-allusion taken by the extremely pretty woman before her, who looked like her elder sister. Mrs. Tramore had never manifested, to her daughter, the slightest consciousness that her position was peculiar; but the recollection of something more than that fine policy was required to explain such a failure, to appreciate Rose’s sacrifice. It was simply a fresh reminder that she had never appreciated anything, that she was nothing but a tinted and stippled surface. Her situation was peculiar indeed. She had been the heroine of a scandal which had grown dim only because, in the eyes of the London world, it paled in the lurid light of the contemporaneous. That attention had been fixed on it for several days, fifteen years before; there had been a high relish of the vivid evidence as to his wife’s misconduct with which, in the divorce-court, Charles Tramore had judged well to regale a cynical public. The case was pronounced awfully bad, and he obtained his decree. The folly of the wife had been inconceivable, in spite of other examples: she had quitted her children, she had followed the “other fellow” abroad. The other fellow hadn’t married her, not having had time: he had lost his life in the Mediterranean by the capsizing of a boat, before the prohibitory term had expired.
“Oh, my dear, how delightful! I just have to get another house!” It was with these words that her mother reacted to the announcement Rose had just formally made, expecting to create a sense of dignity. Emotionally, it seemed to have no impact at all, and the girl was smart enough to realize that this wasn’t merely due to the general lack of acknowledgment from the incredibly attractive woman in front of her, who looked like her older sister. Mrs. Tramore had never shown her daughter the slightest awareness that her situation was unusual; however, remembering that it took more than just good intentions to explain such a lack of recognition highlighted Rose’s sacrifice. It was simply a fresh reminder that she had never valued anything; she was only a painted and textured facade. Her situation was indeed unusual. She had been the center of a scandal that had faded only because, in the eyes of London society, it lost its shine against the backdrop of contemporary events. Attention had been drawn to it for several days, fifteen years earlier; there had been a strong interest in the vivid testimony regarding his wife’s wrongdoing that Charles Tramore had cleverly shared with a jaded public during the divorce proceedings. The case was deemed severely damaging, and he won his decree. The wife’s foolishness had been unimaginable, despite other instances: she had abandoned her children to chase after the "other guy" abroad. The other guy hadn’t married her, as he didn’t have the chance: he lost his life in the Mediterranean when a boat capsized, before the prohibitory period had ended.
Mrs. Tramore had striven to extract from this accident something of the austerity of widowhood; but her mourning only made her deviation more public, she was a widow whose husband was awkwardly alive. She had not prowled about the Continent on the classic lines; she had come back to London to take her chance. But London would give her no chance, would have nothing to say to her; as many persons had remarked, you could never tell how London would behave. It would not receive Mrs. Tramore again on any terms, and when she was spoken of, which now was not often, it was inveterately said of her that she went nowhere. Apparently she had not the qualities for which London compounds; though in the cases in which it does compound you may often wonder what these qualities are. She had not at any rate been successful: her lover was dead, her husband was liked and her children were pitied, for in payment for a topic London will parenthetically pity. It was thought interesting and magnanimous that Charles Tramore had not married again. The disadvantage to his children of the miserable story was thus left uncorrected, and this, rather oddly, was counted as his sacrifice. His mother, whose arrangements were elaborate, looked after them a great deal, and they enjoyed a mixture of laxity and discipline under the roof of their aunt, Miss Tramore, who was independent, having, for reasons that the two ladies had exhaustively discussed, determined to lead her own life. She had set up a home at St. Leonard’s, and that contracted shore had played a considerable part in the upbringing of the little Tramores. They knew about their mother, as the phrase was, but they didn’t know her; which was naturally deemed more pathetic for them than for her. She had a house in Chester Square and an income and a victoria—it served all purposes, as she never went out in the evening—and flowers on her window-sills, and a remarkable appearance of youth. The income was supposed to be in part the result of a bequest from the man for whose sake she had committed the error of her life, and in the appearance of youth there was a slightly impertinent implication that it was a sort of afterglow of the same connection.
Mrs. Tramore had tried to draw some seriousness from her situation, but her mourning only highlighted her unusual circumstances; she was a widow with a husband who was awkwardly still alive. She hadn't traveled around Europe like most would expect; she had returned to London to seize whatever opportunity she could find. But London didn’t want to offer her any chance and seemed to ignore her completely; as many people noted, you could never predict how London would react. It wouldn’t accept Mrs. Tramore back under any conditions, and when she was mentioned, which wasn’t often, people consistently said that she went nowhere. She didn’t possess the qualities that London values; although even when it does recognize such qualities, you’re often left questioning what they actually are. She certainly hadn’t succeeded: her lover was gone, her husband was well-liked, and her children were pitied, because for the sake of conversation, London tends to show pity. It was considered both interesting and noble that Charles Tramore hadn’t remarried. The negative impact on his children from this unfortunate situation remained unaddressed, and oddly, this was seen as his sacrifice. His mother, who was quite organized, took care of them extensively, and they experienced a blend of freedom and discipline in their aunt, Miss Tramore's, home; she was independent, having chosen to live her own life for reasons that the two ladies had thoroughly discussed. She had established a home in St. Leonard’s, and that small seaside area had played a big role in raising the young Tramores. They knew about their mother, as the saying goes, but they didn’t truly know her; this was thought to be more heartbreaking for them than for her. She owned a house in Chester Square, had an income and a carriage—it served its purpose since she never went out in the evenings—and had flowers on her window sills, along with a remarkable look of youth. The income was believed to partially come from an inheritance from the man for whom she had made the biggest mistake of her life, and her youthful appearance carried a slightly cheeky implication that it was a lingering effect of that same relationship.
Her children, as they grew older, fortunately showed signs of some individuality of disposition. Edith, the second girl, clung to her aunt Julia; Eric, the son, clung frantically to polo; while Rose, the elder daughter, appeared to cling mainly to herself. Collectively, of course, they clung to their father, whose attitude in the family group, however, was casual and intermittent. He was charming and vague; he was like a clever actor who often didn’t come to rehearsal. Fortune, which but for that one stroke had been generous to him, had provided him with deputies and trouble-takers, as well as with whimsical opinions, and a reputation for excellent taste, and whist at his club, and perpetual cigars on morocco sofas, and a beautiful absence of purpose. Nature had thrown in a remarkably fine hand, which he sometimes passed over his children’s heads when they were glossy from the nursery brush. On Rose’s eighteenth birthday he said to her that she might go to see her mother, on condition that her visits should be limited to an hour each time and to four in the year. She was to go alone; the other children were not included in the arrangement. This was the result of a visit that he himself had paid his repudiated wife at her urgent request, their only encounter during the fifteen years. The girl knew as much as this from her aunt Julia, who was full of tell-tale secrecies. She availed herself eagerly of the license, and in course of the period that elapsed before her father’s death she spent with Mrs. Tramore exactly eight hours by the watch. Her father, who was as inconsistent and disappointing as he was amiable, spoke to her of her mother only once afterwards. This occasion had been the sequel of her first visit, and he had made no use of it to ask what she thought of the personality in Chester Square or how she liked it. He had only said “Did she take you out?” and when Rose answered “Yes, she put me straight into a carriage and drove me up and down Bond Street,” had rejoined sharply “See that that never occurs again.” It never did, but once was enough, every one they knew having happened to be in Bond Street at that particular hour.
Her kids, as they got older, thankfully started to show some individuality. Edith, the second daughter, was attached to her Aunt Julia; Eric, the son, was obsessed with polo; while Rose, the oldest daughter, seemed mostly focused on herself. Together, of course, they were close to their dad, whose involvement in the family was pretty casual and hit-or-miss. He was charming but vague, like a talented actor who often skipped rehearsals. Fate, which had been generous to him except for one setback, had given him helpers and annoyances, along with quirky opinions, a great reputation, games at his club, endless cigars on leather sofas, and a lovely aimlessness. Nature had dealt him a remarkably good hand, which he sometimes displayed over his kids' heads when they were all polished from the nursery brush. On Rose's eighteenth birthday, he told her she could visit her mother, but her visits had to be limited to one hour each time and only four times a year. She was to go alone; the other kids were not included. This decision came from a visit he had made to his estranged wife at her urgent request, their only meeting in fifteen years. Rose learned all this from Aunt Julia, who was full of revealing secrets. She was eager to take advantage of the permission, and during the time before her father passed away, she spent exactly eight hours with Mrs. Tramore. Her father, who was as unpredictable and disappointing as he was pleasant, only spoke to her about her mother once afterwards. This happened after her first visit, and he didn’t bother to ask what she thought of the woman in Chester Square or how she felt about it. He just asked, “Did she take you out?” and when Rose replied, “Yes, she put me straight into a carriage and drove me up and down Bond Street,” he quickly responded, “Make sure that never happens again.” It didn’t happen again, but once was enough, with everyone they knew coincidentally being in Bond Street at that specific time.
After this the periodical interview took place in private, in Mrs. Tramore’s beautiful little wasted drawing-room. Rose knew that, rare as these occasions were, her mother would not have kept her “all to herself” had there been anybody she could have shown her to. But in the poor lady’s social void there was no one; she had after all her own correctness and she consistently preferred isolation to inferior contacts. So her daughter was subjected only to the maternal; it was not necessary to be definite in qualifying that. The girl had by this time a collection of ideas, gathered by impenetrable processes; she had tasted, in the ostracism of her ambiguous parent, of the acrid fruit of the tree of knowledge. She not only had an approximate vision of what every one had done, but she had a private judgment for each case. She had a particular vision of her father, which did not interfere with his being dear to her, but which was directly concerned in her resolution, after his death, to do the special thing he had expressed the wish she should not do. In the general estimate her grandmother and her grandmother’s money had their place, and the strong probability that any enjoyment of the latter commodity would now be withheld from her. It included Edith’s marked inclination to receive the law, and doubtless eventually a more substantial memento, from Miss Tramore, and opened the question whether her own course might not contribute to make her sister’s appear heartless. The answer to this question however would depend on the success that might attend her own, which would very possibly be small. Eric’s attitude was eminently simple; he didn’t care to know people who didn’t know his people. If his mother should ever get back into society perhaps he would take her up. Rose Tramore had decided to do what she could to bring this consummation about; and strangely enough—so mixed were her superstitions and her heresies—a large part of her motive lay in the value she attached to such a consecration.
After this, the regular meeting happened in private, in Mrs. Tramore’s lovely but unused drawing room. Rose knew that although these moments were rare, her mother wouldn’t keep her “all to herself” if there was anyone she could show her to. But in the poor lady’s social isolation, there was no one; she had her own standards, and she consistently preferred being alone rather than associating with people she considered beneath her. So her daughter was only subjected to her mother’s influence; it didn’t need any further qualification. By this point, the girl had gathered a range of ideas through mysterious processes; she had experienced, in the isolation of her ambiguous parent, the bitter fruit of the tree of knowledge. She not only had a rough idea of what everyone had done, but she also had a personal opinion on each case. She had a specific view of her father, which didn’t stop her from caring for him, but it did play a direct role in her decision, after his death, to do the exact thing he had wished she wouldn’t do. In the broader picture, her grandmother and her grandmother’s money had their importance, especially with a strong likelihood that any enjoyment of the latter would now be denied to her. It also included Edith’s clear intention to receive the law, and probably eventually a more significant reminder, from Miss Tramore, and raised the question of whether her own actions might make her sister seem unfeeling. The answer to this question, however, would depend on how successful her own efforts might be, which would likely be modest. Eric’s stance was quite straightforward; he didn’t care to know people who didn’t know *his* people. If his mother ever got back into society, maybe he would reconnect with her. Rose Tramore had decided to do what she could to make this happen; and strangely enough—her beliefs and doubts were so intertwined—a large part of her motivation lay in the value she placed on such a sacred connection.
Of her mother intrinsically she thought very little now, and if her eyes were fixed on a special achievement it was much more for the sake of that achievement and to satisfy a latent energy that was in her than because her heart was wrung by this sufferer. Her heart had not been wrung at all, though she had quite held it out for the experience. Her purpose was a pious game, but it was still essentially a game. Among the ideas I have mentioned she had her idea of triumph. She had caught the inevitable note, the pitch, on her very first visit to Chester Square. She had arrived there in intense excitement, and her excitement was left on her hands in a manner that reminded her of a difficult air she had once heard sung at the opera when no one applauded the performer. That flatness had made her sick, and so did this, in another way. A part of her agitation proceeded from the fact that her aunt Julia had told her, in the manner of a burst of confidence, something she was not to repeat, that she was in appearance the very image of the lady in Chester Square. The motive that prompted this declaration was between aunt Julia and her conscience; but it was a great emotion to the girl to find her entertainer so beautiful. She was tall and exquisitely slim; she had hair more exactly to Rose Tramore’s taste than any other she had ever seen, even to every detail in the way it was dressed, and a complexion and a figure of the kind that are always spoken of as “lovely.” Her eyes were irresistible, and so were her clothes, though the clothes were perhaps a little more precisely the right thing than the eyes. Her appearance was marked to her daughter’s sense by the highest distinction; though it may be mentioned that this had never been the opinion of all the world. It was a revelation to Rose that she herself might look a little like that. She knew however that aunt Julia had not seen her deposed sister-in-law for a long time, and she had a general impression that Mrs. Tramore was to-day a more complete production—for instance as regarded her air of youth—than she had ever been. There was no excitement on her side—that was all her visitor’s; there was no emotion—that was excluded by the plan, to say nothing of conditions more primal. Rose had from the first a glimpse of her mother’s plan. It was to mention nothing and imply nothing, neither to acknowledge, to explain nor to extenuate. She would leave everything to her child; with her child she was secure. She only wanted to get back into society; she would leave even that to her child, whom she treated not as a high-strung and heroic daughter, a creature of exaltation, of devotion, but as a new, charming, clever, useful friend, a little younger than herself. Already on that first day she had talked about dressmakers. Of course, poor thing, it was to be remembered that in her circumstances there were not many things she could talk about. “She wants to go out again; that’s the only thing in the wide world she wants,” Rose had promptly, compendiously said to herself. There had been a sequel to this observation, uttered, in intense engrossment, in her own room half an hour before she had, on the important evening, made known her decision to her grandmother: “Then I’ll take her out!”
Of her mother, she thought very little now, and if she focused on a special achievement, it was much more for the sake of that achievement and to satisfy a latent energy within her than because her heart was aching for this sufferer. Her heart hadn’t really hurt at all, even though she had been open to the experience. Her purpose was a pious game, but it was still fundamentally a game. Among the ideas I’ve mentioned, she had her idea of triumph. She had picked up the unavoidable note, the pitch, on her very first visit to Chester Square. She had arrived there in a state of intense excitement, and that excitement left her feeling empty, reminding her of a difficult aria she had once heard sung at the opera when no one applauded the performer. That flatness had made her feel sick, and this felt the same way, albeit differently. Part of her agitation came from the fact that her aunt Julia had told her, in a burst of confidence and something she wasn’t supposed to repeat, that she was the spitting image of the lady in Chester Square. The motive behind this declaration lay between aunt Julia and her conscience; however, it was a significant revelation for the girl to find her host so beautiful. She was tall and beautifully slender; her hair was exactly to Rose Tramore’s liking, even down to every detail in the way it was styled, and her complexion and figure could be described as “lovely.” Her eyes were irresistible, and so were her clothes, although the clothes were perhaps a little more on point than the eyes. To Rose, her appearance carried the highest distinction, though it’s worth noting that not everyone shared that opinion. It was a revelation for Rose that she might resemble her. However, she knew that aunt Julia hadn’t seen her deposed sister-in-law for a long time, and she had a general impression that Mrs. Tramore was a more complete version of herself today—particularly in terms of her youthful appearance—than she had ever been. There was no excitement on her side—that was all the visitor’s; there were no emotions—that was excluded by the plan, not to mention deeper conditions. From the start, Rose had a sense of her mother’s plan. It was to say nothing and imply nothing, to neither acknowledge, explain, nor justify. She would leave everything to her child; with her child, she felt secure. She only wanted to reintegrate into society; she would leave that to her child, whom she didn’t treat as a high-strung and heroic daughter—someone exalted and devoted—but rather as a charming, clever, useful friend a little younger than herself. Already on that first day, she had talked about dressmakers. Of course, poor thing, it should be noted that in her situation, there weren't many topics she could discuss. “She wants to go out again; that’s all she wants in the wide world,” Rose had quickly and succinctly told herself. There had been a follow-up to this thought, expressed in deep contemplation, in her own room half an hour before she made her decision known to her grandmother that important evening: “Then I’ll take her out!”
“She’ll drag you down, she’ll drag you down!” Julia Tramore permitted herself to remark to her niece, the next day, in a tone of feverish prophecy.
“She’ll pull you under, she’ll pull you under!” Julia Tramore allowed herself to say to her niece the next day, with a tone full of urgency.
As the girl’s own theory was that all the dragging there might be would be upward, and moreover administered by herself, she could look at her aunt with a cold and inscrutable eye.
As the girl believed that any dragging would be upward and would be controlled by her, she could look at her aunt with a cool and unreadable gaze.
“Very well, then, I shall be out of your sight, from the pinnacle you occupy, and I sha’n’t trouble you.”
“Alright, then, I’ll stay out of your sight from the high place you’re at, and I won’t bother you.”
“Do you reproach me for my disinterested exertions, for the way I’ve toiled over you, the way I’ve lived for you?” Miss Tramore demanded.
“Do you blame me for my selfless efforts, for how I’ve worked hard for you, for how I’ve lived for you?” Miss Tramore asked.
“Don’t reproach me for being kind to my mother and I won’t reproach you for anything.”
“Don’t blame me for being nice to my mom, and I won’t blame you for anything.”
“She’ll keep you out of everything—she’ll make you miss everything,” Miss Tramore continued.
“She’ll keep you out of everything—she’ll make you miss everything,” Miss Tramore continued.
“Then she’ll make me miss a great deal that’s odious,” said the girl.
“Then she’ll make me miss a lot of things that are annoying,” said the girl.
“You’re too young for such extravagances,” her aunt declared.
“You’re too young for things like that,” her aunt said.
“And yet Edith, who is younger than I, seems to be too old for them: how do you arrange that? My mother’s society will make me older,” Rose replied.
“And yet Edith, who is younger than me, seems too old for them: how do you explain that? My mom's social life will make me older,” Rose replied.
“Don’t speak to me of your mother; you have no mother.”
“Don’t talk to me about your mom; you don’t have a mom.”
“Then if I’m an orphan I must settle things for myself.”
“Then if I’m an orphan, I have to figure things out for myself.”
“Do you justify her, do you approve of her?” cried Miss Tramore, who was inferior to her niece in capacity for retort and whose limitations made the girl appear pert.
“Do you defend her, do you agree with her?” shouted Miss Tramore, who was less quick-witted than her niece and whose shortcomings made the girl seem sharp-tongued.
Rose looked at her a moment in silence; then she said, turning away: “I think she’s charming.”
Rose stared at her for a moment without saying anything; then she turned away and said, “I think she’s charming.”
“And do you propose to become charming in the same manner?”
“And do you plan to be charming in the same way?”
“Her manner is perfect; it would be an excellent model. But I can’t discuss my mother with you.”
“Her behavior is flawless; it would be a great example. But I can’t talk about my mom with you.”
“You’ll have to discuss her with some other people!” Miss Tramore proclaimed, going out of the room.
“You’ll need to talk about her with some other people!” Miss Tramore announced, leaving the room.
Rose wondered whether this were a general or a particular vaticination. There was something her aunt might have meant by it, but her aunt rarely meant the best thing she might have meant. Miss Tramore had come up from St. Leonard’s in response to a telegram from her own parent, for an occasion like the present brought with it, for a few hours, a certain relaxation of their dissent. “Do what you can to stop her,” the old lady had said; but her daughter found that the most she could do was not much. They both had a baffled sense that Rose had thought the question out a good deal further than they; and this was particularly irritating to Mrs. Tramore, as consciously the cleverer of the two. A question thought out as far as she could think it had always appeared to her to have performed its human uses; she had never encountered a ghost emerging from that extinction. Their great contention was that Rose would cut herself off; and certainly if she wasn’t afraid of that she wasn’t afraid of anything. Julia Tramore could only tell her mother how little the girl was afraid. She was already prepared to leave the house, taking with her the possessions, or her share of them, that had accumulated there during her father’s illness. There had been a going and coming of her maid, a thumping about of boxes, an ordering of four-wheelers; it appeared to old Mrs. Tramore that something of the objectionableness, the indecency, of her granddaughter’s prospective connection had already gathered about the place. It was a violation of the decorum of bereavement which was still fresh there, and from the indignant gloom of the mistress of the house you might have inferred not so much that the daughter was about to depart as that the mother was about to arrive. There had been no conversation on the dreadful subject at luncheon; for at luncheon at Mrs. Tramore’s (her son never came to it) there were always, even after funerals and other miseries, stray guests of both sexes whose policy it was to be cheerful and superficial. Rose had sat down as if nothing had happened—nothing worse, that is, than her father’s death; but no one had spoken of anything that any one else was thinking of.
Rose wondered if this was a general or specific prediction. There was something her aunt might have meant by it, but her aunt rarely expressed the most positive interpretation. Miss Tramore had come up from St. Leonard’s after receiving a telegram from her parent, since occasions like this allowed for a brief easing of their disagreements. “Do what you can to stop her,” the old lady had said; but her daughter found that there wasn't much she could actually do. They both felt confused that Rose had clearly thought the question through much more than they had, which was especially frustrating for Mrs. Tramore, who considered herself the smarter of the two. To her, a question that was considered as deeply as she could manage seemed to have served its purpose; she had never encountered a situation that came back from that conclusion. Their main concern was that Rose would isolate herself; and certainly, if she wasn’t scared of that, she wasn’t scared of anything. Julia Tramore could only tell her mother how fearless the girl was. Rose was already ready to leave the house, taking with her the belongings, or her share of them, that had piled up during her father’s illness. There had been a constant back and forth of her maid, boxes being moved around, and arranging for carriages; to old Mrs. Tramore, it seemed like some of the unpleasantness and indecency surrounding her granddaughter’s impending connection had already settled in. It felt like a breach of the grieving decorum that still lingered there, and from the indignant gloom of the mistress of the house, you might have inferred that it was less about the daughter’s upcoming departure than it was about the mother’s imminent arrival. There had been no discussion about the dreadful topic at lunch; for at Mrs. Tramore’s lunch (her son never attended), there were always, even after funerals and other tragedies, random guests of both genders who preferred to keep things cheerful and superficial. Rose had sat down as if nothing had happened—nothing worse, that is, than her father’s death; but no one had mentioned anything that anyone else was thinking about.
Before she left the house a servant brought her a message from her grandmother—the old lady desired to see her in the drawing-room. She had on her bonnet, and she went down as if she were about to step into her cab. Mrs. Tramore sat there with her eternal knitting, from which she forebore even to raise her eyes as, after a silence that seemed to express the fulness of her reprobation, while Rose stood motionless, she began: “I wonder if you really understand what you’re doing.”
Before she left the house, a servant brought her a message from her grandmother—the old lady wanted to see her in the living room. She had her bonnet on and headed down as if she were about to get into her cab. Mrs. Tramore was sitting there with her usual knitting, not even looking up as, after a silence that felt like a clear expression of her disapproval, she began: “I wonder if you really understand what you’re doing.”
“I think so. I’m not so stupid.”
“I think so. I'm not that dumb.”
“I never thought you were; but I don’t know what to make of you now. You’re giving up everything.”
“I never thought you were; but I don’t know what to think of you now. You’re giving up everything.”
The girl was tempted to inquire whether her grandmother called herself “everything”; but she checked this question, answering instead that she knew she was giving up much.
The girl was tempted to ask if her grandmother referred to herself as "everything"; but she held back, instead saying that she knew she was sacrificing a lot.
“You’re taking a step of which you will feel the effect to the end of your days,” Mrs. Tramore went on.
“You’re making a decision that will affect you for the rest of your life,” Mrs. Tramore continued.
“In a good conscience, I heartily hope,” said Rose.
“In good conscience, I really hope,” said Rose.
“Your father’s conscience was good enough for his mother; it ought to be good enough for his daughter.”
“Your dad’s conscience was good enough for his mom; it should be good enough for his daughter.”
Rose sat down—she could afford to—as if she wished to be very attentive and were still accessible to argument. But this demonstration only ushered in, after a moment, the surprising words “I don’t think papa had any conscience.”
Rose sat down—she could afford to—as if she wanted to be really attentive and still open to discussion. But this move only led to the unexpected words, “I don’t think Dad had any conscience.”
“What in the name of all that’s unnatural do you mean?” Mrs. Tramore cried, over her glasses. “The dearest and best creature that ever lived!”
“What in the world do you mean?” Mrs. Tramore exclaimed, peering over her glasses. “The kindest and sweetest person who ever lived!”
“He was kind, he had charming impulses, he was delightful. But he never reflected.”
“He was kind, he had charming instincts, he was delightful. But he never thought things through.”
Mrs. Tramore stared, as if at a language she had never heard, a farrago, a galimatias. Her life was made up of items, but she had never had to deal, intellectually, with a fine shade. Then while her needles, which had paused an instant, began to fly again, she rejoined: “Do you know what you are, my dear? You’re a dreadful little prig. Where do you pick up such talk?”
Mrs. Tramore stared, as if at a language she had never heard, a jumble, a galimatias. Her life was made up of simple things, but she had never had to think about the details. Then, as her needles, which had paused for a moment, started moving fast again, she replied: “Do you know what you are, my dear? You’re a terrible little prig. Where do you get such talk?”
“Of course I don’t mean to judge between them,” Rose pursued. “I can only judge between my mother and myself. Papa couldn’t judge for me.” And with this she got up.
“Of course I’m not trying to take sides,” Rose continued. “I can only make decisions about my mother and me. Dad couldn’t decide that for me.” And with that, she stood up.
“One would think you were horrid. I never thought so before.”
"One would think you were terrible. I never thought that before."
“Thank you for that.”
"Thanks for that."
“You’re embarking on a struggle with society,” continued Mrs. Tramore, indulging in an unusual flight of oratory. “Society will put you in your place.”
“You’re starting a fight with society,” continued Mrs. Tramore, indulging in a rare moment of eloquence. “Society will put you in line.”
“Hasn’t it too many other things to do?” asked the girl.
“Doesn’t it have too many other things to do?” asked the girl.
This question had an ingenuity which led her grandmother to meet it with a merely provisional and somewhat sketchy answer. “Your ignorance would be melancholy if your behaviour were not so insane.”
This question had a cleverness that made her grandmother respond with just a temporary and somewhat vague answer. “Your lack of knowledge would be sad if your actions weren’t so crazy.”
“Oh, no; I know perfectly what she’ll do!” Rose replied, almost gaily. “She’ll drag me down.”
“Oh, no; I know exactly what she’ll do!” Rose replied, almost cheerfully. “She’ll bring me down.”
“She won’t even do that,” the old lady declared contradictiously. “She’ll keep you forever in the same dull hole.”
“She won’t even do that,” the old lady said contradictorily. “She’ll keep you stuck in the same boring situation forever.”
“I shall come and see you, granny, when I want something more lively.”
“I'll come and see you, grandma, when I want something more exciting.”
“You may come if you like, but you’ll come no further than the door. If you leave this house now you don’t enter it again.”
“You can come if you want, but you won’t go any further than the door. If you leave this house now, you can’t come back in.”
Rose hesitated a moment. “Do you really mean that?”
Rose paused for a moment. “Are you serious about that?”
“You may judge whether I choose such a time to joke.”
“You can decide if I would make a joke at a time like this.”
“Good-bye, then,” said the girl.
“Goodbye, then,” said the girl.
“Good-bye.”
“Goodbye.”
Rose quitted the room successfully enough; but on the other side of the door, on the landing, she sank into a chair and buried her face in her hands. She had burst into tears, and she sobbed there for a moment, trying hard to recover herself, so as to go downstairs without showing any traces of emotion, passing before the servants and again perhaps before aunt Julia. Mrs. Tramore was too old to cry; she could only drop her knitting and, for a long time, sit with her head bowed and her eyes closed.
Rose left the room successfully, but once she was on the other side of the door, on the landing, she sank into a chair and buried her face in her hands. She burst into tears and sobbed for a moment, trying hard to pull herself together so she could go downstairs without showing any signs of emotion, passing by the servants and possibly aunt Julia again. Mrs. Tramore was too old to cry; she could only drop her knitting and sit quietly for a long time with her head bowed and her eyes closed.
Rose had reckoned justly with her aunt Julia; there were no footmen, but this vigilant virgin was posted at the foot of the stairs. She offered no challenge however; she only said: “There’s some one in the parlour who wants to see you.” The girl demanded a name, but Miss Tramore only mouthed inaudibly and winked and waved. Rose instantly reflected that there was only one man in the world her aunt would look such deep things about. “Captain Jay?” her own eyes asked, while Miss Tramore’s were those of a conspirator: they were, for a moment, the only embarrassed eyes Rose had encountered that day. They contributed to make aunt Julia’s further response evasive, after her niece inquired if she had communicated in advance with this visitor. Miss Tramore merely said that he had been upstairs with her mother—hadn’t she mentioned it?—and had been waiting for her. She thought herself acute in not putting the question of the girl’s seeing him before her as a favour to him or to herself; she presented it as a duty, and wound up with the proposition: “It’s not fair to him, it’s not kind, not to let him speak to you before you go.”
Rose had figured out correctly with her aunt Julia; there were no footmen, but this watchful lady was stationed at the bottom of the stairs. She didn’t challenge her; she simply said, “There’s someone in the parlor who wants to see you.” The girl asked for a name, but Miss Tramore only silently mouthed and winked and waved. Rose quickly realized that there was only one man in the world her aunt would look so serious about. “Captain Jay?” her own eyes seemed to ask, while Miss Tramore's spoke like a conspirator: for a moment, they were the only awkward eyes Rose had seen that day. They made her aunt's further response vague when her niece asked if she had told this visitor in advance about her arrival. Miss Tramore just said he had been upstairs with her mother—hadn’t she mentioned it?—and had been waiting for her. She thought she was clever for not framing the question of the girl meeting him as a favor for either him or herself; she presented it as a duty, ending with the statement: “It’s not fair to him, it’s not kind, not to let him speak to you before you go.”
“What does he want to say?” Rose demanded.
“What does he want to say?” Rose asked.
“Go in and find out.”
"Go in and see."
She really knew, for she had found out before; but after standing uncertain an instant she went in. “The parlour” was the name that had always been borne by a spacious sitting-room downstairs, an apartment occupied by her father during his frequent phases of residence in Hill Street—episodes increasingly frequent after his house in the country had, in consequence, as Rose perfectly knew, of his spending too much money, been disposed of at a sacrifice which he always characterised as horrid. He had been left with the place in Hertfordshire and his mother with the London house, on the general understanding that they would change about; but during the last years the community had grown more rigid, mainly at his mother’s expense. The parlour was full of his memory and his habits and his things—his books and pictures and bibelots, objects that belonged now to Eric. Rose had sat in it for hours since his death; it was the place in which she could still be nearest to him. But she felt far from him as Captain Jay rose erect on her opening the door. This was a very different presence. He had not liked Captain Jay. She herself had, but not enough to make a great complication of her father’s coldness. This afternoon however she foresaw complications. At the very outset for instance she was not pleased with his having arranged such a surprise for her with her grandmother and her aunt. It was probably aunt Julia who had sent for him; her grandmother wouldn’t have done it. It placed him immediately on their side, and Rose was almost as disappointed at this as if she had not known it was quite where he would naturally be. He had never paid her a special visit, but if that was what he wished to do why shouldn’t he have waited till she should be under her mother’s roof? She knew the reason, but she had an angry prospect of enjoyment in making him express it. She liked him enough, after all, if it were measured by the idea of what she could make him do.
She really knew, since she had found out before; but after hesitating for a moment, she went in. “The parlour” was the name that had always been used for a spacious living room downstairs, a space her father occupied during his frequent stays in Hill Street—stays that had become more frequent after he sold his country house at a loss, which he always called terrible. He had kept the place in Hertfordshire and his mother had the London house, with the general understanding that they would swap from time to time; but in recent years, that arrangement had become more rigid, mostly at his mother’s expense. The parlour was filled with his memory, his habits, and his belongings—his books, pictures, and trinkets, items that now belonged to Eric. Rose had spent hours in there since his death; it was the place where she felt closest to him. But she felt distant from him as Captain Jay stood up when she opened the door. This was a very different presence. He hadn’t liked Captain Jay. She herself had, but not enough to complicate her father’s indifference. However, this afternoon she anticipated complications. Right from the start, for example, she was unhappy that he had organized such a surprise for her with her grandmother and aunt. It was probably Aunt Julia who had called him; her grandmother wouldn’t have done that. It immediately put him on their side, and Rose was almost as disappointed by this as if she hadn’t known he would naturally align with them. He had never made a special visit to her, but if that’s what he wanted to do, why couldn’t he have waited until she was under her mother’s roof? She knew the reason, but she felt an annoyed thrill at the thought of making him say it. She actually liked him enough, after all, if it was based on what she could make him do.
In Bertram Jay the elements were surprisingly mingled; you would have gone astray, in reading him, if you had counted on finding the complements of some of his qualities. He would not however have struck you in the least as incomplete, for in every case in which you didn’t find the complement you would have found the contradiction. He was in the Royal Engineers, and was tall, lean and high-shouldered. He looked every inch a soldier, yet there were people who considered that he had missed his vocation in not becoming a parson. He took a public interest in the spiritual life of the army. Other persons still, on closer observation, would have felt that his most appropriate field was neither the army nor the church, but simply the world—the social, successful, worldly world. If he had a sword in one hand and a Bible in the other he had a Court Guide concealed somewhere about his person. His profile was hard and handsome, his eyes were both cold and kind, his dark straight hair was imperturbably smooth and prematurely streaked with grey. There was nothing in existence that he didn’t take seriously. He had a first-rate power of work and an ambition as minutely organised as a German plan of invasion. His only real recreation was to go to church, but he went to parties when he had time. If he was in love with Rose Tramore this was distracting to him only in the same sense as his religion, and it was included in that department of his extremely sub-divided life. His religion indeed was of an encroaching, annexing sort. Seen from in front he looked diffident and blank, but he was capable of exposing himself in a way (to speak only of the paths of peace) wholly inconsistent with shyness. He had a passion for instance for open-air speaking, but was not thought on the whole to excel in it unless he could help himself out with a hymn. In conversation he kept his eyes on you with a kind of colourless candour, as if he had not understood what you were saying and, in a fashion that made many people turn red, waited before answering. This was only because he was considering their remarks in more relations than they had intended. He had in his face no expression whatever save the one just mentioned, and was, in his profession, already very distinguished.
In Bertram Jay, the elements were surprisingly mixed; you would have gotten lost reading him if you expected to find the complements of some of his qualities. However, he wouldn’t have seemed incomplete at all, because in every case where you didn’t find the complement, you would have seen a contradiction. He served in the Royal Engineers, tall, lean, and broad-shouldered. He looked every bit like a soldier, yet some people thought he should have pursued a career as a minister. He took a public interest in the spiritual life of the army. Others, upon closer observation, would have felt that his true calling wasn’t in the army or the church, but simply in the world—socially successful and worldly. If he held a sword in one hand and a Bible in the other, he also had a Court Guide stashed somewhere on him. His profile was strong and handsome, his eyes were both cold and kind, and his dark straight hair was immaculately smooth, with premature streaks of grey. He took everything seriously. He had an exceptional work ethic and an ambition that was as meticulously structured as a German invasion plan. His only real form of relaxation was going to church, but he attended parties when he had the time. If he was in love with Rose Tramore, it only distracted him in the same way his religion did, and it was part of that extremely subdivided life he lived. His religion was indeed of an encroaching, annexing nature. From the front, he appeared shy and blank, but he was capable of revealing himself in ways (to speak only of peaceful pursuits) that were completely at odds with shyness. He had a passion for public speaking, but he wasn’t generally considered to excel at it unless he could lean on a hymn. In conversation, he kept his eyes on you with a kind of colorless honesty, as if he hadn’t grasped what you were saying, and in a manner that often made people blush, he paused before responding. This was just because he was contemplating their comments from more angles than they had intended. He had no expression on his face aside from the one just mentioned, yet he was already quite distinguished in his profession.
He had seen Rose Tramore for the first time on a Sunday of the previous March, at a house in the country at which she was staying with her father, and five weeks later he had made her, by letter, an offer of marriage. She showed her father the letter of course, and he told her that it would give him great pleasure that she should send Captain Jay about his business. “My dear child,” he said, “we must really have some one who will be better fun than that.” Rose had declined the honour, very considerately and kindly, but not simply because her father wished it. She didn’t herself wish to detach this flower from the stem, though when the young man wrote again, to express the hope that he might hope—so long was he willing to wait—and ask if he might not still sometimes see her, she answered even more indulgently than at first. She had shown her father her former letter, but she didn’t show him this one; she only told him what it contained, submitting to him also that of her correspondent. Captain Jay moreover wrote to Mr. Tramore, who replied sociably, but so vaguely that he almost neglected the subject under discussion—a communication that made poor Bertram ponder long. He could never get to the bottom of the superficial, and all the proprieties and conventions of life were profound to him. Fortunately for him old Mrs. Tramore liked him, he was satisfactory to her long-sightedness; so that a relation was established under cover of which he still occasionally presented himself in Hill Street—presented himself nominally to the mistress of the house. He had had scruples about the veracity of his visits, but he had disposed of them; he had scruples about so many things that he had had to invent a general way, to dig a central drain. Julia Tramore happened to meet him when she came up to town, and she took a view of him more benevolent than her usual estimate of people encouraged by her mother. The fear of agreeing with that lady was a motive, but there was a stronger one, in this particular case, in the fear of agreeing with her niece, who had rejected him. His situation might be held to have improved when Mr. Tramore was taken so gravely ill that with regard to his recovery those about him left their eyes to speak for their lips; and in the light of the poor gentleman’s recent death it was doubtless better than it had ever been.
He first met Rose Tramore on a Sunday in March at a country house where she was staying with her dad, and five weeks later, he proposed to her in a letter. Of course, she showed the letter to her father, who told her it would make him very happy if she sent Captain Jay on his way. “My dear child,” he said, “we really need someone who will be more fun than that.” Rose politely declined the proposal, but not just because her father wanted her to. She didn’t want to detach this flower from its stem. However, when the young man wrote again, hoping that he *might* still have a chance—he was willing to wait as long as it took—and asked if he could still see her sometimes, she responded even more kindly than before. She had shown her father her previous letter but didn’t show him this one; she just told him what it said, also sharing details about her correspondent. Captain Jay also wrote to Mr. Tramore, who replied in a friendly manner but so vaguely that he nearly ignored the topic at hand—a response that left poor Bertram deep in thought. He could never understand the surface-level interactions, and all the social norms and customs were profound to him. Luckily for him, old Mrs. Tramore liked him; she found him satisfactory for her long-term perspective, allowing him to maintain a relationship under which he still occasionally visited Hill Street—at least nominally to see the lady of the house. He had felt guilty about the authenticity of his visits but had pushed those thoughts aside; he worried about so many things that he had to find a general solution, a central point of clarity. Julia Tramore met him when she visited the city and viewed him more favorably than her usual judgment, thanks to her mother’s encouragement. The desire to not agree with her mother was a reason, but an even stronger one was the fear of agreeing with her niece, who had turned him down. His situation seemed to improve when Mr. Tramore fell seriously ill, to the point where those around him communicated their hopes through worried looks rather than words; in light of the poor gentleman’s recent passing, his situation was certainly better than it had ever been.
He was only a quarter of an hour with the girl, but this gave him time to take the measure of it. After he had spoken to her about her bereavement, very much as an especially mild missionary might have spoken to a beautiful Polynesian, he let her know that he had learned from her companions the very strong step she was about to take. This led to their spending together ten minutes which, to her mind, threw more light on his character than anything that had ever passed between them. She had always felt with him as if she were standing on an edge, looking down into something decidedly deep. To-day the impression of the perpendicular shaft was there, but it was rather an abyss of confusion and disorder than the large bright space in which she had figured everything as ranged and pigeon-holed, presenting the appearance of the labelled shelves and drawers at a chemist’s. He discussed without an invitation to discuss, he appealed without a right to appeal. He was nothing but a suitor tolerated after dismissal, but he took strangely for granted a participation in her affairs. He assumed all sorts of things that made her draw back. He implied that there was everything now to assist them in arriving at an agreement, since she had never informed him that he was positively objectionable; but that this symmetry would be spoiled if she should not be willing to take a little longer to think of certain consequences. She was greatly disconcerted when she saw what consequences he meant and at his reminding her of them. What on earth was the use of a lover if he was to speak only like one’s grandmother and one’s aunt? He struck her as much in love with her and as particularly careful at the same time as to what he might say. He never mentioned her mother; he only alluded, indirectly but earnestly, to the “step.” He disapproved of it altogether, took an unexpectedly prudent, politic view of it. He evidently also believed that she would be dragged down; in other words that she would not be asked out. It was his idea that her mother would contaminate her, so that he should find himself interested in a young person discredited and virtually unmarriageable. All this was more obvious to him than the consideration that a daughter should be merciful. Where was his religion if he understood mercy so little, and where were his talent and his courage if he were so miserably afraid of trumpery social penalties? Rose’s heart sank when she reflected that a man supposed to be first-rate hadn’t guessed that rather than not do what she could for her mother she would give up all the Engineers in the world. She became aware that she probably would have been moved to place her hand in his on the spot if he had come to her saying “Your idea is the right one; put it through at every cost.” She couldn’t discuss this with him, though he impressed her as having too much at stake for her to treat him with mere disdain. She sickened at the revelation that a gentleman could see so much in mere vulgarities of opinion, and though she uttered as few words as possible, conversing only in sad smiles and headshakes and in intercepted movements toward the door, she happened, in some unguarded lapse from her reticence, to use the expression that she was disappointed in him. He caught at it and, seeming to drop his field-glass, pressed upon her with nearer, tenderer eyes.
He spent just fifteen minutes with the girl, but that was enough time for him to assess her. After discussing her loss, much like a particularly gentle missionary might talk to a beautiful Polynesian, he let her know he had heard from her friends about the major decision she was about to make. This led to them spending ten minutes together that, in her eyes, revealed more about his character than anything else they had shared before. She had always felt around him as if she were on the edge, looking down into something very deep. Today, while that sense of a deep chasm was still there, it felt more like an abyss of confusion and chaos rather than the orderly, bright space where she had envisioned everything neatly categorized, like labeled shelves and drawers at a pharmacy. He spoke without being invited to, and made appeals without having the right to do so. He was merely a suitor who had been tolerated after being dismissed, yet he oddly assumed he had a say in her life. He suggested various things that made her pull back. He implied that they had everything necessary for reaching an agreement since she had never directly told him he was unwanted; however, this understanding would be compromised if she wasn't willing to take a little more time to think about certain outcomes. She felt uneasy when she realized what outcomes he meant and when he brought them up. What was the point of having a lover if he only spoke like her grandmother or aunt? He seemed very much in love with her, yet also particularly cautious about what he might say. He never mentioned her mother directly; instead, he referred to the “step” indirectly but seriously. He completely disapproved of it and took an unexpectedly cautious, political stance on the matter. He clearly believed that she would end up being dragged down; in other words, that she wouldn’t get invited out. He thought her mother would tarnish her reputation, making him end up interested in someone who was essentially discredited and practically unmarriageable. This was more apparent to him than the thought that a daughter should show compassion. Where was his sense of morality if he understood mercy so poorly, and where were his talents and courage if he was so terrified of trivial social repercussions? Rose felt a sense of defeat when she considered that a man who was supposed to be first-rate didn’t realize that she would choose to sacrifice everything for her mother rather than abandon her. She recognized that she likely would have instinctively put her hand in his if he had come to her stating, “Your choice is the right one; pursue it at all costs.” She couldn’t bring herself to discuss this with him, even though she felt he had too much at stake for her to dismiss him outright. She felt nauseated by the realization that a gentleman could focus so much on mere superficial opinions, and although she spoke as little as possible, communicating mainly through sad smiles, headshakes, and hesitant motions toward the door, she accidentally let slip that she felt disappointed in him. He seized on this, appearing to drop his binoculars, and moved closer, looking at her with more tenderness.
“Can I be so happy as to believe, then, that you had thought of me with some confidence, with some faith?”
“Can I be happy enough to think that you had me in mind with a bit of confidence, with some faith?”
“If you didn’t suppose so, what is the sense of this visit?” Rose asked.
“If you didn’t think so, what’s the point of this visit?” Rose asked.
“One can be faithful without reciprocity,” said the young man. “I regard you in a light which makes me want to protect you even if I have nothing to gain by it.”
“One can be loyal without getting anything back,” said the young man. “I see you in a way that makes me want to keep you safe even if there’s no benefit for me.”
“Yet you speak as if you thought you might keep me for yourself.”
“Yet you talk as if you think you can keep me for yourself.”
“For yourself. I don’t want you to suffer.”
“For yourself. I don’t want you to go through pain.”
“Nor to suffer yourself by my doing so,” said Rose, looking down.
“Nor to let yourself be affected by my actions,” said Rose, looking down.
“Ah, if you would only marry me next month!” he broke out inconsequently.
“Ah, if you would just marry me next month!” he exclaimed suddenly.
“And give up going to mamma?” Rose waited to see if he would say “What need that matter? Can’t your mother come to us?” But he said nothing of the sort; he only answered—
“And give up going to Mom?” Rose waited to see if he would say, “What does that matter? Can’t your mom come to us?” But he didn’t say anything like that; he only answered—
“She surely would be sorry to interfere with the exercise of any other affection which I might have the bliss of believing that you are now free, in however small a degree, to entertain.”
“She would definitely regret getting in the way of any other feelings I might have the pleasure of believing you are now, even if just a little, able to entertain.”
Rose knew that her mother wouldn’t be sorry at all; but she contented herself with rejoining, her hand on the door: “Good-bye. I sha’n’t suffer. I’m not afraid.”
Rose knew that her mother wouldn’t feel sorry at all; but she comforted herself by replying, her hand on the door: “Goodbye. I won’t suffer. I’m not scared.”
“You don’t know how terrible, how cruel, the world can be.”
“You have no idea how awful, how brutal, the world can be.”
“Yes, I do know. I know everything!”
“Yes, I know. I know everything!”
The declaration sprang from her lips in a tone which made him look at her as he had never looked before, as if he saw something new in her face, as if he had never yet known her. He hadn’t displeased her so much but that she would like to give him that impression, and since she felt that she was doing so she lingered an instant for the purpose. It enabled her to see, further, that he turned red; then to become aware that a carriage had stopped at the door. Captain Jay’s eyes, from where he stood, fell upon this arrival, and the nature of their glance made Rose step forward to look. Her mother sat there, brilliant, conspicuous, in the eternal victoria, and the footman was already sounding the knocker. It had been no part of the arrangement that she should come to fetch her; it had been out of the question—a stroke in such bad taste as would have put Rose in the wrong. The girl had never dreamed of it, but somehow, suddenly, perversely, she was glad of it now; she even hoped that her grandmother and her aunt were looking out upstairs.
The declaration slipped from her lips in a tone that made him look at her like never before, as if he were seeing something new on her face, as if he had never really known her. He hadn’t upset her enough that she didn’t want to give him that impression, and since she felt that way, she paused for a moment to emphasize it. This allowed her to notice that he was blushing; then she became aware that a carriage had stopped at the door. Captain Jay, from where he stood, noticed this arrival, and the way he looked made Rose step forward to see. Her mother sat there, radiant and noticeable, in the classic carriage, and the footman was already knocking on the door. It hadn’t been part of the plan for her to come and get her; it had been out of the question—a move in such bad taste it would have put Rose in the wrong. The girl had never considered it, but suddenly, oddly, she was glad about it now; she even hoped that her grandmother and her aunt were watching from upstairs.
“My mother has come for me. Good-bye,” she repeated; but this time her visitor had got between her and the door.
“My mother has come for me. Goodbye,” she repeated; but this time her visitor had gotten between her and the door.
“Listen to me before you go. I will give you a life’s devotion,” the young man pleaded. He really barred the way.
“Listen to me before you leave. I will dedicate my life to you,” the young man begged. He truly blocked the path.
She wondered whether her grandmother had told him that if her flight were not prevented she would forfeit money. Then, vividly, it came over her that this would be what he was occupied with. “I shall never think of you—let me go!” she cried, with passion.
She wondered if her grandmother had mentioned that if her flight was canceled, she would lose money. Then, it hit her that this was probably what he was focused on. “I will never think of you—just let me go!” she shouted, with intense emotion.
Captain Jay opened the door, but Rose didn’t see his face, and in a moment she was out of the house. Aunt Julia, who was sure to have been hovering, had taken flight before the profanity of the knock.
Captain Jay opened the door, but Rose didn’t see his face, and in a moment she was out of the house. Aunt Julia, who was definitely lurking nearby, had taken off before the harshness of the knock.
“Heavens, dear, where did you get your mourning?” the lady in the victoria asked of her daughter as they drove away.
“Heavens, dear, where did you get your black attire for mourning?” the lady in the carriage asked her daughter as they drove away.
II.
Lady Maresfield had given her boy a push in his plump back and had said to him, “Go and speak to her now; it’s your chance.” She had for a long time wanted this scion to make himself audible to Rose Tramore, but the opportunity was not easy to come by. The case was complicated. Lady Maresfield had four daughters, of whom only one was married. It so happened moreover that this one, Mrs. Vaughan-Vesey, the only person in the world her mother was afraid of, was the most to be reckoned with. The Honourable Guy was in appearance all his mother’s child, though he was really a simpler soul. He was large and pink; large, that is, as to everything but the eyes, which were diminishing points, and pink as to everything but the hair, which was comparable, faintly, to the hue of the richer rose. He had also, it must be conceded, very small neat teeth, which made his smile look like a young lady’s. He had no wish to resemble any such person, but he was perpetually smiling, and he smiled more than ever as he approached Rose Tramore, who, looking altogether, to his mind, as a pretty girl should, and wearing a soft white opera-cloak over a softer black dress, leaned alone against the wall of the vestibule at Covent Garden while, a few paces off, an old gentleman engaged her mother in conversation. Madame Patti had been singing, and they were all waiting for their carriages. To their ears at present came a vociferation of names and a rattle of wheels. The air, through banging doors, entered in damp, warm gusts, heavy with the stale, slightly sweet taste of the London season when the London season is overripe and spoiling.
Lady Maresfield had given her son a gentle nudge in his chubby back and said to him, “Go talk to her now; it’s your chance.” She had long wanted this son to make his presence known to Rose Tramore, but the opportunity didn’t come easily. The situation was tricky. Lady Maresfield had four daughters, of whom only one was married. Interestingly, this one, Mrs. Vaughan-Vesey, was the only person in the world her mother truly feared, and she was someone to reckon with. The Honourable Guy looked just like his mother, though he was actually a simpler guy. He was big and pink; big, that is, in every way except his eyes, which were small and beady, and pink everywhere except his hair, which was faintly the color of a rich rose. He also had very small, neat teeth, giving his smile a rather feminine quality. He didn’t want to look like any girl, but he was always smiling, and he smiled even more as he approached Rose Tramore, who looked just as a pretty girl should, draped in a soft white opera cloak over a softer black dress, leaning alone against the wall of the vestibule at Covent Garden while, a few steps away, an old gentleman chatted with her mother. Madame Patti had just finished singing, and they were all waiting for their carriages. They could hear a loud commotion of names and the clattering of wheels. The air blew in through the slamming doors, coming in warm, damp gusts, heavy with the stale, slightly sweet scent of the London season when it’s overripe and starting to go bad.
Guy Mangler had only three minutes to reëstablish an interrupted acquaintance with our young lady. He reminded her that he had danced with her the year before, and he mentioned that he knew her brother. His mother had lately been to see old Mrs. Tramore, but this he did not mention, not being aware of it. That visit had produced, on Lady Maresfield’s part, a private crisis, engendered ideas. One of them was that the grandmother in Hill Street had really forgiven the wilful girl much more than she admitted. Another was that there would still be some money for Rose when the others should come into theirs. Still another was that the others would come into theirs at no distant date; the old lady was so visibly going to pieces. There were several more besides, as for instance that Rose had already fifteen hundred a year from her father. The figure had been betrayed in Hill Street; it was part of the proof of Mrs. Tramore’s decrepitude. Then there was an equal amount that her mother had to dispose of and on which the girl could absolutely count, though of course it might involve much waiting, as the mother, a person of gross insensibility, evidently wouldn’t die of cold-shouldering. Equally definite, to do it justice, was the conception that Rose was in truth remarkably good looking, and that what she had undertaken to do showed, and would show even should it fail, cleverness of the right sort. Cleverness of the right sort was exactly the quality that Lady Maresfield prefigured as indispensable in a young lady to whom she should marry her second son, over whose own deficiencies she flung the veil of a maternal theory that his cleverness was of a sort that was wrong. Those who knew him less well were content to wish that he might not conceal it for such a scruple. This enumeration of his mother’s views does not exhaust the list, and it was in obedience to one too profound to be uttered even by the historian that, after a very brief delay, she decided to move across the crowded lobby. Her daughter Bessie was the only one with her; Maggie was dining with the Vaughan-Veseys, and Fanny was not of an age. Mrs. Tramore the younger showed only an admirable back—her face was to her old gentleman—and Bessie had drifted to some other people; so that it was comparatively easy for Lady Maresfield to say to Rose, in a moment: “My dear child, are you never coming to see us?”
Guy Mangler had only three minutes to reconnect with our young lady. He reminded her that he had danced with her the previous year and mentioned that he knew her brother. He didn't bring up that his mother had recently visited old Mrs. Tramore, as he was unaware of it. That visit had triggered a personal crisis for Lady Maresfield, sparking some ideas. One was that the grandmother in Hill Street had actually forgiven the rebellious girl much more than she let on. Another was that there would still be some money left for Rose when the others received their inheritance. Yet another was that the others would get theirs fairly soon, given how visibly fragile the old lady was. There were several more thoughts, like the fact that Rose was already receiving fifteen hundred a year from her father. This amount had leaked out in Hill Street; it was part of the evidence of Mrs. Tramore’s decline. Then, there was an equal sum that her mother had to distribute, which the girl could definitely count on, although it might require some waiting, as the mother, a rather insensitive person, certainly wouldn’t die from being ignored. Justly, there was also the clear idea that Rose was actually quite attractive and that her efforts were showing— and would continue to show, even if they failed— a type of cleverness that was commendable. This kind of cleverness was precisely what Lady Maresfield deemed essential in a young lady whom she would want to marry her second son, behind whose own shortcomings she placed a maternal theory suggesting that his cleverness was fundamentally flawed. Those who knew him less closely could only hope that he wouldn't hide it due to such a concern. This list of his mother's opinions doesn't cover everything, and it was due to one idea too deep to be expressed even by the historian that, after a very brief pause, she decided to move across the crowded lobby. Her daughter Bessie was the only one with her; Maggie was dining with the Vaughan-Veseys, and Fanny was too young. Mrs. Tramore the younger only showed an admirable back— her face was turned toward her elderly companion— and Bessie had drifted towards some other people; making it relatively easy for Lady Maresfield to say to Rose, in a moment: “My dear child, are you never coming to see us?”
“We shall be delighted to come if you’ll ask us,” Rose smiled.
“We’d be happy to come if you invite us,” Rose smiled.
Lady Maresfield had been prepared for the plural number, and she was a woman whom it took many plurals to disconcert. “I’m sure Guy is longing for another dance with you,” she rejoined, with the most unblinking irrelevance.
Lady Maresfield had been ready for more than one, and she was a woman whom it took many to rattle. “I’m sure Guy can't wait for another dance with you,” she replied, with the most unflinching indifference.
“I’m afraid we’re not dancing again quite yet,” said Rose, glancing at her mother’s exposed shoulders, but speaking as if they were muffled in crape.
“I’m afraid we’re not dancing again just yet,” said Rose, looking at her mother’s bare shoulders, but speaking as if they were wrapped in black fabric.
Lady Maresfield leaned her head on one side and seemed almost wistful. “Not even at my sister’s ball? She’s to have something next week. She’ll write to you.”
Lady Maresfield tilted her head to the side and looked a bit nostalgic. “Not even at my sister’s party? She’s having one next week. She'll write to you.”
Rose Tramore, on the spot, looking bright but vague, turned three or four things over in her mind. She remembered that the sister of her interlocutress was the proverbially rich Mrs. Bray, a bankeress or a breweress or a builderess, who had so big a house that she couldn’t fill it unless she opened her doors, or her mouth, very wide. Rose had learnt more about London society during these lonely months with her mother than she had ever picked up in Hill Street. The younger Mrs. Tramore was a mine of commérages, and she had no need to go out to bring home the latest intelligence. At any rate Mrs. Bray might serve as the end of a wedge. “Oh, I dare say we might think of that,” Rose said. “It would be very kind of your sister.”
Rose Tramore, standing there, looking bright but a bit distant, turned a few thoughts over in her mind. She remembered that her conversation partner's sister was the famously wealthy Mrs. Bray, a banker, brewer, or builder, who had such a large house that she could only fill it by opening her doors, or her mouth, really wide. Rose had learned more about London society during these solitary months with her mother than she ever did in Hill Street. The younger Mrs. Tramore was a wealth of gossip, and she didn’t need to go out to gather the latest news. At any rate, Mrs. Bray could be the key to getting in the door. “Oh, I’m sure we could consider that,” Rose said. “It would be very kind of your sister.”
“Guy’ll think of it, won’t you, Guy?” asked Lady Maresfield.
"Guy will think of it, right, Guy?" asked Lady Maresfield.
“Rather!” Guy responded, with an intonation as fine as if he had learnt it at a music hall; while at the same moment the name of his mother’s carriage was bawled through the place. Mrs. Tramore had parted with her old gentleman; she turned again to her daughter. Nothing occurred but what always occurred, which was exactly this absence of everything—a universal lapse. She didn’t exist, even for a second, to any recognising eye. The people who looked at her—of course there were plenty of those—were only the people who didn’t exist for hers. Lady Maresfield surged away on her son’s arm.
“Absolutely!” Guy replied, his tone as polished as if he had picked it up in a theater; at that very moment, someone shouted the name of his mother’s carriage across the room. Mrs. Tramore had said goodbye to her old gentleman; she turned back to her daughter. Nothing happened other than the usual—that pervasive absence of everything—a complete void. She didn’t matter, even for an instant, to anyone who could recognize her. The people who saw her—of course, there were plenty—were only the ones who didn’t matter to her. Lady Maresfield moved away on her son’s arm.
It was this noble matron herself who wrote, the next day, inclosing a card of invitation from Mrs. Bray and expressing the hope that Rose would come and dine and let her ladyship take her. She should have only one of her own girls; Gwendolen Vesey was to take the other. Rose handed both the note and the card in silence to her mother; the latter exhibited only the name of Miss Tramore. “You had much better go, dear,” her mother said; in answer to which Miss Tramore slowly tore up the documents, looking with clear, meditative eyes out of the window. Her mother always said “You had better go”—there had been other incidents—and Rose had never even once taken account of the observation. She would make no first advances, only plenty of second ones, and, condoning no discrimination, would treat no omission as venial. She would keep all concessions till afterwards; then she would make them one by one. Fighting society was quite as hard as her grandmother had said it would be; but there was a tension in it which made the dreariness vibrate—the dreariness of such a winter as she had just passed. Her companion had cried at the end of it, and she had cried all through; only her tears had been private, while her mother’s had fallen once for all, at luncheon on the bleak Easter Monday—produced by the way a silent survey of the deadly square brought home to her that every creature but themselves was out of town and having tremendous fun. Rose felt that it was useless to attempt to explain simply by her mourning this severity of solitude; for if people didn’t go to parties (at least a few didn’t) for six months after their father died, this was the very time other people took for coming to see them. It was not too much to say that during this first winter of Rose’s period with her mother she had no communication whatever with the world. It had the effect of making her take to reading the new American books: she wanted to see how girls got on by themselves. She had never read so much before, and there was a legitimate indifference in it when topics failed with her mother. They often failed after the first days, and then, while she bent over instructive volumes, this lady, dressed as if for an impending function, sat on the sofa and watched her. Rose was not embarrassed by such an appearance, for she could reflect that, a little before, her companion had not even a girl who had taken refuge in queer researches to look at. She was moreover used to her mother’s attitude by this time. She had her own description of it: it was the attitude of waiting for the carriage. If they didn’t go out it was not that Mrs. Tramore was not ready in time, and Rose had even an alarmed prevision of their some day always arriving first. Mrs. Tramore’s conversation at such moments was abrupt, inconsequent and personal. She sat on the edge of sofas and chairs and glanced occasionally at the fit of her gloves (she was perpetually gloved, and the fit was a thing it was melancholy to see wasted), as people do who are expecting guests to dinner. Rose used almost to fancy herself at times a perfunctory husband on the other side of the fire.
It was this noble woman herself who wrote the next day, enclosing an invitation card from Mrs. Bray and hoping that Rose would come and have dinner with her. She would have just one of her own daughters; Gwendolen Vesey would take the other. Rose handed both the note and the card silently to her mother; the latter showed only the name of Miss Tramore. “You should really go, dear,” her mother said, to which Miss Tramore slowly tore up the documents, gazing thoughtfully out the window. Her mother often said “You should really go”—there had been other incidents—and Rose had never once considered that advice. She wouldn’t make any first moves, only many second ones, and without tolerating any bias, would not treat any omission lightly. She would hold off all concessions until later; then she would make them one at a time. Navigating society was just as tough as her grandmother had warned it would be; but there was a tension in it that made the bleakness resonate—the bleakness of the winter she had just endured. Her companion had cried at the end of it, and she herself had cried the whole time; only her tears had been private, while her mother's had flowed all at once, during lunch on that dreary Easter Monday—prompted by the quiet realization that every other person but them was out of town and having a fantastic time. Rose felt it was pointless to try to explain this harsh solitude just by her mourning; because if people didn’t go to parties (at least some didn’t) for six months after their father passed away, this was precisely when others took the opportunity to come visit. It wasn’t an exaggeration to say that during this first winter of Rose’s time with her mother, she had no contact whatsoever with the outside world. This drove her to read the latest American books; she wanted to see how girls managed on their own. She had never read so much before, and it felt like a legitimate distraction when conversations ran dry with her mother. They often did after the first few days, and while she was absorbed in instructive books, her mother, dressed as if for an upcoming event, sat on the sofa watching her. Rose wasn’t uncomfortable with this presence, as she could remind herself that not long ago, her companion had no girl to observe, even one engrossed in unusual studies. She was also used to her mother’s demeanor by now. She termed it the attitude of waiting for the carriage. If they didn’t go out, it wasn’t because Mrs. Tramore wasn’t ready on time, and Rose even had a nagging feeling that someday they’d always be the first to arrive. At such times, Mrs. Tramore’s conversation was abrupt, random, and personal. She sat on the edge of sofas and chairs, occasionally glancing at how her gloves fit (she was always gloved, and the fit was a sorrowful sight to see wasted), just like people do when they’re expecting dinner guests. Rose sometimes nearly imagined herself as a perfunctory husband on the other side of the fire.
What she was not yet used to—there was still a charm in it—was her mother’s extraordinary tact. During the years they lived together they never had a discussion; a circumstance all the more remarkable since if the girl had a reason for sparing her companion (that of being sorry for her) Mrs. Tramore had none for sparing her child. She only showed in doing so a happy instinct—the happiest thing about her. She took in perfection a course which represented everything and covered everything; she utterly abjured all authority. She testified to her abjuration in hourly ingenious, touching ways. In this manner nothing had to be talked over, which was a mercy all round. The tears on Easter Monday were merely a nervous gust, to help show she was not a Christmas doll from the Burlington Arcade; and there was no lifting up of the repentant Magdalen, no uttered remorse for the former abandonment of children. Of the way she could treat her children her demeanour to this one was an example; it was an uninterrupted appeal to her eldest daughter for direction. She took the law from Rose in every circumstance, and if you had noticed these ladies without knowing their history you would have wondered what tie was fine enough to make maturity so respectful to youth. No mother was ever so filial as Mrs. Tramore, and there had never been such a difference of position between sisters. Not that the elder one fawned, which would have been fearful; she only renounced—whatever she had to renounce. If the amount was not much she at any rate made no scene over it. Her hand was so light that Rose said of her secretly, in vague glances at the past, “No wonder people liked her!” She never characterised the old element of interference with her mother’s respectability more definitely than as “people.” They were people, it was true, for whom gentleness must have been everything and who didn’t demand a variety of interests. The desire to “go out” was the one passion that even a closer acquaintance with her parent revealed to Rose Tramore. She marvelled at its strength, in the light of the poor lady’s history: there was comedy enough in this unquenchable flame on the part of a woman who had known such misery. She had drunk deep of every dishonour, but the bitter cup had left her with a taste for lighted candles, for squeezing up staircases and hooking herself to the human elbow. Rose had a vision of the future years in which this taste would grow with restored exercise—of her mother, in a long-tailed dress, jogging on and on and on, jogging further and further from her sins, through a century of the “Morning Post” and down the fashionable avenue of time. She herself would then be very old—she herself would be dead. Mrs. Tramore would cover a span of life for which such an allowance of sin was small. The girl could laugh indeed now at that theory of her being dragged down. If one thing were more present to her than another it was the very desolation of their propriety. As she glanced at her companion, it sometimes seemed to her that if she had been a bad woman she would have been worse than that. There were compensations for being “cut” which Mrs. Tramore too much neglected.
What she wasn’t quite used to—though it still had its charm—was her mother’s incredible tact. During the years they lived together, they never had an argument; a fact that was even more remarkable considering that while the girl had reasons to be sympathetic towards her (feeling sorry for her), Mrs. Tramore had no reason to show any leniency toward her child. She simply demonstrated a happy instinct—perhaps the best thing about her. She perfectly navigated a course that encompassed everything and avoided all authority. She expressed this avoidance in countless clever, heartfelt ways. This meant that nothing had to be discussed, which was a relief for everyone involved. The tears on Easter Monday were just a moment of nervousness to show she wasn’t some Christmas doll from the Burlington Arcade; there was no raising up of the penitent Mary Magdalene, no expressing remorse for having abandoned her children. Her behavior toward this child was an example of how she treated her children overall; it was a constant appeal to her eldest daughter for guidance. She took her cues from Rose in every situation, and if you observed these two women without knowing their backstory, you would wonder what connection could make a mother so respectful toward her daughter. No mother was ever so dutiful as Mrs. Tramore, and there had never been such a disparity in status between sisters. Not that the older one groveled, which would have been terrible; she simply renounced—whatever she had to renounce. If what she let go of wasn’t much, she still made no fuss about it. Her touch was so light that Rose would privately reflect on the past, “No wonder people liked her!” She never described the old element of interference with her mother’s reputation more specifically than as “people.” They were indeed people for whom kindness must have meant everything and who didn’t ask for a range of interests. The desire to “go out” was the one passion that even a closer relationship with her parent revealed to Rose Tramore. She was amazed by its intensity, given her mother’s past: there was enough irony in this unquenchable desire from a woman who had endured such hardship. She had faced every disgrace, but that bitter experience left her with a longing for shining lights, for climbing staircases, and mingling with people. Rose envisioned the future years in which this desire would only grow with renewed activity—her mother, in a long, elegant dress, moving on and on, getting further and further away from her sins, through decades filled with the “Morning Post” and down the path of fashionable times. She would then be very old—she would be dead. Mrs. Tramore would cover a lifetime in which such an allowance for sin was minimal. The girl could certainly now laugh at the idea of being dragged down. If one thing stood out to her more than anything else, it was the stark emptiness of their propriety. As she glanced at her mother, it sometimes seemed to her that had she been a bad woman, she would have been even worse than that. There were benefits to being “cut” that Mrs. Tramore neglected too much.
The lonely old lady in Hill Street—Rose thought of her that way now—was the one person to whom she was ready to say that she would come to her on any terms. She wrote this to her three times over, and she knocked still oftener at her door. But the old lady answered no letters; if Rose had remained in Hill Street it would have been her own function to answer them; and at the door, the butler, whom the girl had known for ten years, considered her, when he told her his mistress was not at home, quite as he might have considered a young person who had come about a place and of whose eligibility he took a negative view. That was Rose’s one pang, that she probably appeared rather heartless. Her aunt Julia had gone to Florence with Edith for the winter, on purpose to make her appear more so; for Miss Tramore was still the person most scandalised by her secession. Edith and she, doubtless, often talked over in Florence the destitution of the aged victim in Hill Street. Eric never came to see his sister, because, being full both of family and of personal feeling, he thought she really ought to have stayed with his grandmother. If she had had such an appurtenance all to herself she might have done what she liked with it; but he couldn’t forgive such a want of consideration for anything of his. There were moments when Rose would have been ready to take her hand from the plough and insist upon reintegration, if only the fierce voice of the old house had allowed people to look her up. But she read, ever so clearly, that her grandmother had made this a question of loyalty to seventy years of virtue. Mrs. Tramore’s forlornness didn’t prevent her drawing-room from being a very public place, in which Rose could hear certain words reverberate: “Leave her alone; it’s the only way to see how long she’ll hold out.” The old woman’s visitors were people who didn’t wish to quarrel, and the girl was conscious that if they had not let her alone—that is if they had come to her from her grandmother—she might perhaps not have held out. She had no friends quite of her own; she had not been brought up to have them, and it would not have been easy in a house which two such persons as her father and his mother divided between them. Her father disapproved of crude intimacies, and all the intimacies of youth were crude. He had married at five-and-twenty and could testify to such a truth. Rose felt that she shared even Captain Jay with her grandmother; she had seen what he was worth. Moreover, she had spoken to him at that last moment in Hill Street in a way which, taken with her former refusal, made it impossible that he should come near her again. She hoped he went to see his protectress: he could be a kind of substitute and administer comfort.
The lonely old lady on Hill Street—Rose thought of her that way now—was the only person she felt she could reach out to on any terms. She wrote to her three times and knocked even more often at her door. But the old lady never replied to her letters; if Rose had stayed on Hill Street, it would have been up to her to respond. When Rose knocked, the butler, whom she had known for ten years, looked at her as if she were just another young person applying for a job that he didn’t think she was suited for. That was Rose’s one regret, that she probably came off as rather cold. Her aunt Julia had gone to Florence with Edith for the winter, deliberately to make her seem even colder; Miss Tramore was still the one most outraged by her departure. Edith and she likely talked often in Florence about the old lady's misery on Hill Street. Eric never visited his sister because, being full of family loyalty and personal feelings, he thought she really should have stayed with their grandmother. If she had had that connection to herself, she could have done whatever she wanted with it; but he couldn't forgive her for being so inconsiderate of something that meant a lot to him. There were moments when Rose would have been ready to walk back on her decision and insist on returning, if only the harsh atmosphere of the old house had allowed anyone to find her. But she clearly understood that her grandmother had turned this into a matter of loyalty to seventy years of virtue. Mrs. Tramore's loneliness didn’t keep her drawing room from being a very public space, where Rose could hear certain remarks echo: “Leave her alone; it’s the only way to see how long she’ll last.” The old woman’s visitors were people who didn’t want to create any conflict, and Rose was aware that if they hadn’t left her alone—that is, if they had approached her on behalf of her grandmother—she might not have been able to withstand it. She had no friends of her own; she hadn’t been raised to have them, and it would have been tough in a household split between her father and his mother. Her father frowned upon close relationships, and all youthful connections felt superficial to him. He had married at twenty-five and could attest to that truth. Rose felt like she even had to share Captain Jay with her grandmother; she had seen what he was really like. Moreover, she had spoken to him in a way during their last interaction on Hill Street that, combined with her previous rejection, made it impossible for him to approach her again. She hoped he would visit his benefactor: he could serve as a kind of substitute and offer her some solace.
It so happened, however, that the day after she threw Lady Maresfield’s invitation into the wastepaper basket she received a visit from a certain Mrs. Donovan, whom she had occasionally seen in Hill Street. She vaguely knew this lady for a busybody, but she was in a situation which even busybodies might alleviate. Mrs. Donovan was poor, but honest—so scrupulously honest that she was perpetually returning visits she had never received. She was always clad in weather-beaten sealskin, and had an odd air of being prepared for the worst, which was borne out by her denying that she was Irish. She was of the English Donovans.
It just so happened that the day after she tossed Lady Maresfield’s invitation into the trash, she got a visit from a certain Mrs. Donovan, whom she had occasionally seen on Hill Street. She vaguely recognized this woman as a meddler, but she was in a situation where even meddling could help. Mrs. Donovan was poor but honest—so incredibly honest that she was constantly returning visits she had never actually received. She was always dressed in worn sealskin and had a strange vibe of being ready for the worst, which was confirmed by her claim that she wasn’t Irish. She belonged to the English Donovans.
“Dear child, won’t you go out with me?” she asked.
“Hey kid, will you go out with me?” she asked.
Rose looked at her a moment and then rang the bell. She spoke of something else, without answering the question, and when the servant came she said: “Please tell Mrs. Tramore that Mrs. Donovan has come to see her.”
Rose looked at her for a moment and then rang the bell. She talked about something else, avoiding the question, and when the servant arrived, she said, “Please tell Mrs. Tramore that Mrs. Donovan is here to see her.”
“Oh, that’ll be delightful; only you mustn’t tell your grandmother!” the visitor exclaimed.
“Oh, that’ll be great; just don’t tell your grandma!” the visitor exclaimed.
“Tell her what?”
"Tell her what exactly?"
“That I come to see your mamma.”
“That I come to see your mom.”
“You don’t,” said Rose.
“You don’t,” Rose said.
“Sure I hoped you’d introduce me!” cried Mrs. Donovan, compromising herself in her embarrassment.
“Of course I was hoping you’d introduce me!” Mrs. Donovan exclaimed, flustered by her embarrassment.
“It’s not necessary; you knew her once.”
“It’s not needed; you used to know her.”
“Indeed and I’ve known every one once,” the visitor confessed.
“Yeah, I’ve known each one before,” the visitor admitted.
Mrs. Tramore, when she came in, was charming and exactly right; she greeted Mrs. Donovan as if she had met her the week before last, giving her daughter such a new illustration of her tact that Rose again had the idea that it was no wonder “people” had liked her. The girl grudged Mrs. Donovan so fresh a morsel as a description of her mother at home, rejoicing that she would be inconvenienced by having to keep the story out of Hill Street. Her mother went away before Mrs. Donovan departed, and Rose was touched by guessing her reason—the thought that since even this circuitous personage had been moved to come, the two might, if left together, invent some remedy. Rose waited to see what Mrs. Donovan had in fact invented.
Mrs. Tramore, when she walked in, was charming and just perfect; she greeted Mrs. Donovan as if they'd seen each other just last week, showing her daughter yet another example of her tact that made Rose realize again why "people" had liked her. The girl begrudged Mrs. Donovan such a fresh tidbit as a description of her mother at home, glad that she'd be put out by having to keep the story out of Hill Street. Her mother left before Mrs. Donovan did, and Rose felt a bit touched, guessing her reason—hoping that since even this indirect person had felt compelled to come, the two might, if left alone, come up with some solution. Rose waited to see what Mrs. Donovan had actually come up with.
“You won’t come out with me then?”
“You're not going to come out with me then?”
“Come out with you?”
"Hang out with you?"
“My daughters are married. You know I’m a lone woman. It would be an immense pleasure to me to have so charming a creature as yourself to present to the world.”
“My daughters are married. You know I’m on my own. It would be such a delight for me to have someone as charming as you to introduce to the world.”
“I go out with my mother,” said Rose, after a moment.
“I go out with my mom,” said Rose, after a moment.
“Yes, but sometimes when she’s not inclined?”
“Yes, but what about when she’s not in the mood?”
“She goes everywhere she wants to go,” Rose continued, uttering the biggest fib of her life and only regretting it should be wasted on Mrs. Donovan.
“She goes everywhere she wants to go,” Rose continued, telling the biggest lie of her life and only regretting that it was wasted on Mrs. Donovan.
“Ah, but do you go everywhere you want?” the lady asked sociably.
“Ah, but do you go everywhere you want?” the lady asked casually.
“One goes even to places one hates. Every one does that.”
“One goes even to places one dislikes. Everyone does that.”
“Oh, what I go through!” this social martyr cried. Then she laid a persuasive hand on the girl’s arm. “Let me show you at a few places first, and then we’ll see. I’ll bring them all here.”
“Oh, what I have to deal with!” this social martyr exclaimed. Then she placed a convincing hand on the girl’s arm. “Let me show you a few places first, and then we’ll see. I’ll bring them all here.”
“I don’t think I understand you,” replied Rose, though in Mrs. Donovan’s words she perfectly saw her own theory of the case reflected. For a quarter of a minute she asked herself whether she might not, after all, do so much evil that good might come. Mrs. Donovan would take her out the next day, and be thankful enough to annex such an attraction as a pretty girl. Various consequences would ensue and the long delay would be shortened; her mother’s drawing-room would resound with the clatter of teacups.
“I don’t think I get what you mean,” Rose replied, even though she could clearly see her own perspective in Mrs. Donovan’s words. For a brief moment, she wondered if maybe she could do so much wrong that it might actually lead to some good. Mrs. Donovan would take her out the next day and would be grateful to have a pretty girl with her. This would lead to various outcomes, and the long wait would come to an end; her mother’s living room would be filled with the sound of clattering teacups.
“Mrs. Bray’s having some big thing next week; come with me there and I’ll show you what I mane,” Mrs. Donovan pleaded.
“Mrs. Bray has a big event next week; come with me, and I'll show you what I mean,” Mrs. Donovan pleaded.
“I see what you mane,” Rose answered, brushing away her temptation and getting up. “I’m much obliged to you.”
“I get what you mean,” Rose replied, shaking off her temptation and standing up. “I really appreciate it.”
“You know you’re wrong, my dear,” said her interlocutress, with angry little eyes.
“You know you’re wrong, my dear,” said her conversation partner, with angry little eyes.
“I’m not going to Mrs. Bray’s.”
“I’m not going to Mrs. Bray’s house.”
“I’ll get you a kyard; it’ll only cost me a penny stamp.”
“I’ll get you a card; it’ll only cost me a penny stamp.”
“I’ve got one,” said the girl, smiling.
“I have one,” said the girl, smiling.
“Do you mean a penny stamp?” Mrs. Donovan, especially at departure, always observed all the forms of amity. “You can’t do it alone, my darling,” she declared.
“Are you talking about a penny stamp?” Mrs. Donovan, particularly during farewells, always followed the rules of friendliness. “You can’t do it by yourself, my dear,” she stated.
“Shall they call you a cab?” Rose asked.
“Should I call you a cab?” Rose asked.
“I’ll pick one up. I choose my horse. You know you require your start,” her visitor went on.
“I’ll grab one. I pick my horse. You know you need your start,” her guest continued.
“Excuse my mother,” was Rose’s only reply.
“Sorry about my mom,” was Rose's only reply.
“Don’t mention it. Come to me when you need me. You’ll find me in the Red Book.”
“Don’t worry about it. Reach out to me whenever you need me. You’ll find me in the Red Book.”
“It’s awfully kind of you.”
“That’s really nice of you.”
Mrs. Donovan lingered a moment on the threshold. “Who will you have now, my child?” she appealed.
Mrs. Donovan paused for a moment at the doorway. “Who will you have now, my child?” she asked.
“I won’t have any one!” Rose turned away, blushing for her. “She came on speculation,” she said afterwards to Mrs. Tramore.
“I don’t want anyone!” Rose turned away, feeling embarrassed for her. “She came here hoping for something,” she said later to Mrs. Tramore.
Her mother looked at her a moment in silence. “You can do it if you like, you know.”
Her mom paused and looked at her for a moment. “You can do it if you want, you know.”
Rose made no direct answer to this observation; she remarked instead: “See what our quiet life allows us to escape.”
Rose didn't respond directly to this comment; instead, she said, “Look at what our peaceful life lets us avoid.”
“We don’t escape it. She has been here an hour.”
“We can’t avoid it. She’s been here for an hour.”
“Once in twenty years! We might meet her three times a day.”
“Once every twenty years! We could see her three times a day.”
“Oh, I’d take her with the rest!” sighed Mrs. Tramore; while her daughter recognised that what her companion wanted to do was just what Mrs. Donovan was doing. Mrs. Donovan’s life was her ideal.
“Oh, I’d take her with the rest!” sighed Mrs. Tramore; while her daughter realized that what her friend wanted to do was exactly what Mrs. Donovan was doing. Mrs. Donovan’s life was her ideal.
On a Sunday, ten days later, Rose went to see one of her old governesses, of whom she had lost sight for some time and who had written to her that she was in London, unoccupied and ill. This was just the sort of relation into which she could throw herself now with inordinate zeal; the idea of it, however, not preventing a foretaste of the queer expression in the excellent lady’s face when she should mention with whom she was living. While she smiled at this picture she threw in another joke, asking herself if Miss Hack could be held in any degree to constitute the nucleus of a circle. She would come to see her, in any event—come the more the further she was dragged down. Sunday was always a difficult day with the two ladies—the afternoons made it so apparent that they were not frequented. Her mother, it is true, was comprised in the habits of two or three old gentlemen—she had for a long time avoided male friends of less than seventy—who disliked each other enough to make the room, when they were there at once, crack with pressure. Rose sat for a long time with Miss Hack, doing conscientious justice to the conception that there could be troubles in the world worse than her own; and when she came back her mother was alone, but with a story to tell of a long visit from Mr. Guy Mangler, who had waited and waited for her return. “He’s in love with you; he’s coming again on Tuesday,” Mrs. Tramore announced.
On a Sunday, ten days later, Rose went to visit one of her old governesses, whom she hadn’t seen in a while and who had written to her that she was in London, free and feeling unwell. This was exactly the kind of relationship she could dive into now with great enthusiasm; the thought of it, however, didn’t stop her from imagining the strange look on the excellent lady’s face when she mentioned who she was living with. While she smiled at that image, she threw in another joke, wondering if Miss Hack could even be considered the center of a social circle. She would definitely visit her, especially the more she felt dragged down. Sundays were always tough for the two ladies—the afternoons made it really obvious that they weren’t socializing. Her mother, to be fair, was involved with the habits of two or three elderly gentlemen—she had long avoided male friends younger than seventy—who disliked each other enough that the atmosphere would feel tense when they were all together. Rose spent a long time with Miss Hack, fully acknowledging that there were troubles in the world worse than her own; and when she got back, her mother was alone but had a story about a long visit from Mr. Guy Mangler, who had waited and waited for her to return. “He’s in love with you; he’s coming again on Tuesday,” Mrs. Tramore said.
“Did he say so?”
"Did he really say that?"
“That he’s coming back on Tuesday?”
“That he’s coming back on Tuesday?”
“No, that he’s in love with me.”
“No, he loves me.”
“He didn’t need, when he stayed two hours.”
“He didn’t need to stay for two hours.”
“With you? It’s you he’s in love with, mamma!”
“With you? It’s you he loves, mom!”
“That will do as well,” laughed Mrs. Tramore. “For all the use we shall make of him!” she added in a moment.
“That works too,” laughed Mrs. Tramore. “Given how little we’ll actually use him!” she added after a moment.
“We shall make great use of him. His mother sent him.”
“We're going to make good use of him. His mom sent him.”
“Oh, she’ll never come!”
“Oh, she’s never coming!”
“Then he sha’n’t,” said Rose. Yet he was admitted on the Tuesday, and after she had given him his tea Mrs. Tramore left the young people alone. Rose wished she hadn’t—she herself had another view. At any rate she disliked her mother’s view, which she had easily guessed. Mr. Mangler did nothing but say how charming he thought his hostess of the Sunday, and what a tremendously jolly visit he had had. He didn’t remark in so many words “I had no idea your mother was such a good sort”; but this was the spirit of his simple discourse. Rose liked it at first—a little of it gratified her; then she thought there was too much of it for good taste. She had to reflect that one does what one can and that Mr. Mangler probably thought he was delicate. He wished to convey that he desired to make up to her for the injustice of society. Why shouldn’t her mother receive gracefully, she asked (not audibly) and who had ever said she didn’t? Mr. Mangler had a great deal to say about the disappointment of his own parent over Miss Tramore’s not having come to dine with them the night of his aunt’s ball.
“Then he won’t,” said Rose. Yet he was invited on Tuesday, and after she served him his tea, Mrs. Tramore left the young people alone. Rose wished she hadn’t—she had a different opinion. Anyway, she disliked her mother’s perspective, which she had easily figured out. Mr. Mangler only kept saying how lovely he thought his Sunday hostess was and what an incredibly fun visit he had. He didn’t explicitly say, “I had no idea your mother was such a great person,” but that was the vibe of his simple chatter. Rose enjoyed it at first—it flattered her a bit; then she realized he was overdoing it for good taste. She had to remind herself that one does what one can, and Mr. Mangler probably thought he was being considerate. He wanted to convey that he wished to make up for the unfairness of society. Why shouldn't her mother receive guests gracefully, she wondered (not saying it out loud), and who ever said she didn't? Mr. Mangler had a lot to say about how disappointed his own parents were that Miss Tramore hadn’t come to dinner with them the night of his aunt’s ball.
“Lady Maresfield knows why I didn’t come,” Rose answered at last.
“Lady Maresfield knows why I didn’t show up,” Rose finally replied.
“Ah, now, but I don’t, you know; can’t you tell me?” asked the young man.
“Ah, now, but I don’t, you know; can’t you tell me?” asked the young man.
“It doesn’t matter, if your mother’s clear about it.”
“It doesn’t matter if your mom is clear about it.”
“Oh, but why make such an awful mystery of it, when I’m dying to know?”
“Oh, but why make such a big deal out of it when I really want to know?”
He talked about this, he chaffed her about it for the rest of his visit: he had at last found a topic after his own heart. If her mother considered that he might be the emblem of their redemption he was an engine of the most primitive construction. He stayed and stayed; he struck Rose as on the point of bringing out something for which he had not quite, as he would have said, the cheek. Sometimes she thought he was going to begin: “By the way, my mother told me to propose to you.” At other moments he seemed charged with the admission: “I say, of course I really know what you’re trying to do for her,” nodding at the door: “therefore hadn’t we better speak of it frankly, so that I can help you with my mother, and more particularly with my sister Gwendolen, who’s the difficult one? The fact is, you see, they won’t do anything for nothing. If you’ll accept me they’ll call, but they won’t call without something ‘down.’” Mr. Mangler departed without their speaking frankly, and Rose Tramore had a hot hour during which she almost entertained, vindictively, the project of “accepting” the limpid youth until after she should have got her mother into circulation. The cream of the vision was that she might break with him later. She could read that this was what her mother would have liked, but the next time he came the door was closed to him, and the next and the next.
He talked about it and teased her about it for the rest of his visit: he had finally found a topic he really liked. If her mother thought he could be the key to their salvation, he was definitely a very basic option. He stayed and stayed; Rose felt like he was about to say something he wasn't quite brave enough to express. Sometimes she thought he would start with, “By the way, my mother told me to propose to you.” Other times he seemed ready to admit, “I know what you're trying to do for her,” nodding toward the door: “so shouldn’t we just discuss it openly so I can help you with my mother, and especially with my sister Gwendolen, who’s the tricky one? The truth is, they won’t do anything for free. If you accept me, they’ll come by, but they won’t come without something upfront.” Mr. Mangler left without them having a direct conversation, and Rose Tramore spent a heated hour almost considering, out of spite, the idea of “accepting” the innocent young man until after she had helped her mother get established. The ideal scenario was that she could break it off with him later. She understood this was what her mother would have wanted, but the next time he came, the door was closed to him, then again the next time, and the next.
In August there was nothing to do but to go abroad, with the sense on Rose’s part that the battle was still all to fight; for a round of country visits was not in prospect, and English watering-places constituted one of the few subjects on which the girl had heard her mother express herself with disgust. Continental autumns had been indeed for years, one of the various forms of Mrs. Tramore’s atonement, but Rose could only infer that such fruit as they had borne was bitter. The stony stare of Belgravia could be practised at Homburg; and somehow it was inveterately only gentlemen who sat next to her at the table d’hôte at Cadenabbia. Gentlemen had never been of any use to Mrs. Tramore for getting back into society; they had only helped her effectually to get out of it. She once dropped, to her daughter, in a moralising mood, the remark that it was astonishing how many of them one could know without its doing one any good. Fifty of them—even very clever ones—represented a value inferior to that of one stupid woman. Rose wondered at the offhand way in which her mother could talk of fifty clever men; it seemed to her that the whole world couldn’t contain such a number. She had a sombre sense that mankind must be dull and mean. These cogitations took place in a cold hotel, in an eternal Swiss rain, and they had a flat echo in the transalpine valleys, as the lonely ladies went vaguely down to the Italian lakes and cities. Rose guided their course, at moments, with a kind of aimless ferocity; she moved abruptly, feeling vulgar and hating their life, though destitute of any definite vision of another life that would have been open to her. She had set herself a task and she clung to it; but she appeared to herself despicably idle. She had succeeded in not going to Homburg waters, where London was trying to wash away some of its stains; that would be too staring an advertisement of their situation. The main difference in situations to her now was the difference of being more or less pitied, at the best an intolerable danger; so that the places she preferred were the unsuspicious ones. She wanted to triumph with contempt, not with submission.
In August, there was nothing to do but travel abroad, and Rose felt like the battle was still ahead of her; a series of country visits weren't in sight, and her mother had expressed disgust about English resorts. For years, trips to the continent had been one of Mrs. Tramore’s ways of making amends, but Rose could only assume the experiences had left a sour taste. The cold attitude of Belgravia could be found in Homburg; and somehow, it was always gentlemen who sat next to her at the table d’hôte in Cadenabbia. Gentlemen had never helped Mrs. Tramore re-enter society; they had only assisted her in leaving it. She once remarked to her daughter, in a reflective mood, that it was surprising how many men one could know without any benefit. Fifty of them—even the very clever ones—were less valuable than one foolish woman. Rose was struck by how casually her mother spoke of fifty clever men; it seemed to her that the whole world couldn’t have that many. She felt a gloomy sense that humanity must be dull and petty. These thoughts occurred in a chilly hotel during a never-ending Swiss rain, echoing in the distant valleys, as the lonely ladies wandered towards the Italian lakes and cities. Rose occasionally directed their journey with a kind of aimless intensity; she moved abruptly, feeling cheap and despising their life, though she had no clear vision of a different one that could be available to her. She had given herself a mission and held onto it; but she saw herself as shamefully idle. She managed to avoid the Homburg baths, where London was trying to wash away some of its stains; that would be too blatant a display of their situation. The main difference for her now was whether people were more or less sympathetic, which at best was an unbearable risk; so she preferred places where she wouldn't be recognized. She wanted to succeed with disdain, not with submission.
One morning in September, coming with her mother out of the marble church at Milan, she perceived that a gentleman who had just passed her on his way into the cathedral and whose face she had not noticed, had quickly raised his hat, with a suppressed ejaculation. She involuntarily glanced back; the gentleman had paused, again uncovering, and Captain Jay stood saluting her in the Italian sunshine. “Oh, good-morning!” she said, and walked on, pursuing her course; her mother was a little in front. She overtook her in a moment, with an unreasonable sense, like a gust of cold air, that men were worse than ever, for Captain Jay had apparently moved into the church. Her mother turned as they met, and suddenly, as she looked back, an expression of peculiar sweetness came into this lady’s eyes. It made Rose’s take the same direction and rest a second time on Captain Jay, who was planted just where he had stood a minute before. He immediately came forward, asking Rose with great gravity if he might speak to her a moment, while Mrs. Tramore went her way again. He had the expression of a man who wished to say something very important; yet his next words were simple enough and consisted of the remark that he had not seen her for a year.
One morning in September, as she and her mother were leaving the marble church in Milan, she noticed a gentleman who had just passed her on his way into the cathedral. She hadn’t seen his face before, but he quickly tipped his hat with a muffled exclamation. She instinctively looked back; the gentleman had stopped, uncovering his head again, and Captain Jay was standing there, saluting her in the Italian sunshine. “Oh, good morning!” she said, continuing on her way; her mother was a little ahead. She caught up with her in a moment, feeling an irrational chill, as if a cold gust of air had hit her, thinking that men were worse than ever since Captain Jay had seemingly entered the church. Her mother turned as they met, and suddenly, as she looked back, a look of unusual sweetness came into her eyes. It caused Rose’s gaze to follow in the same direction and rest on Captain Jay once more, who was exactly where he had been a minute ago. He immediately stepped forward and asked Rose with great seriousness if he could speak to her for a moment while Mrs. Tramore went on her way. He looked like a man who had something very important to say; however, his next words were quite simple, stating that he hadn’t seen her in a year.
“Is it really so much as that?” asked Rose.
“Is it really that much?” asked Rose.
“Very nearly. I would have looked you up, but in the first place I have been very little in London, and in the second I believed it wouldn’t have done any good.”
“Very close. I would have searched for you, but first of all, I haven’t been in London much, and secondly, I thought it wouldn’t have made a difference.”
“You should have put that first,” said the girl. “It wouldn’t have done any good.”
“You should have mentioned that first,” said the girl. “It wouldn’t have made a difference.”
He was silent over this a moment, in his customary deciphering way; but the view he took of it did not prevent him from inquiring, as she slowly followed her mother, if he mightn’t walk with her now. She answered with a laugh that it wouldn’t do any good but that he might do as he liked. He replied without the slightest manifestation of levity that it would do more good than if he didn’t, and they strolled together, with Mrs. Tramore well before them, across the big, amusing piazza, where the front of the cathedral makes a sort of builded light. He asked a question or two and he explained his own presence: having a month’s holiday, the first clear time for several years, he had just popped over the Alps. He inquired if Rose had recent news of the old lady in Hill Street, and it was the only tortuous thing she had ever heard him say.
He paused for a moment, thinking about it in his usual analytical way; however, his perspective didn't stop him from asking, as she followed her mother slowly, if he could walk with her now. She laughed and said it wouldn't really help, but he could do what he wanted. He responded seriously, saying it would be more helpful than not walking with her, and they walked together, with Mrs. Tramore ahead of them, across the large, lively piazza, where the cathedral's front creates a kind of illuminated structure. He asked her a couple of questions and explained why he was there: he had a month off, the first real break in several years, so he had just come over the Alps. He asked if Rose had heard any recent news about the old lady in Hill Street, and it was the only complicated thing she had ever heard him say.
“I have had no communication of any kind from her since I parted with you under her roof. Hasn’t she mentioned that?” said Rose.
“I haven’t heard anything from her since I left you at her place. Hasn’t she said anything about it?” said Rose.
“I haven’t seen her.”
"I haven't seen her."
“I thought you were such great friends.”
“I thought you two were really good friends.”
Bertram Jay hesitated a moment. “Well, not so much now.”
Bertram Jay paused for a moment. “Well, not really anymore.”
“What has she done to you?” Rose demanded.
“What has she done to you?” Rose asked.
He fidgeted a little, as if he were thinking of something that made him unconscious of her question; then, with mild violence, he brought out the inquiry: “Miss Tramore, are you happy?”
He fidgeted a bit, as if he were lost in thought and didn't hear her question; then, with a hint of urgency, he asked, “Miss Tramore, are you happy?”
She was startled by the words, for she on her side had been reflecting—reflecting that he had broken with her grandmother and that this pointed to a reason. It suggested at least that he wouldn’t now be so much like a mouthpiece for that cold ancestral tone. She turned off his question—said it never was a fair one, as you gave yourself away however you answered it. When he repeated “You give yourself away?” as if he didn’t understand, she remembered that he had not read the funny American books. This brought them to a silence, for she had enlightened him only by another laugh, and he was evidently preparing another question, which he wished carefully to disconnect from the former. Presently, just as they were coming near Mrs. Tramore, it arrived in the words “Is this lady your mother?” On Rose’s assenting, with the addition that she was travelling with her, he said: “Will you be so kind as to introduce me to her?” They were so close to Mrs. Tramore that she probably heard, but she floated away with a single stroke of her paddle and an inattentive poise of her head. It was a striking exhibition of the famous tact, for Rose delayed to answer, which was exactly what might have made her mother wish to turn; and indeed when at last the girl spoke she only said to her companion: “Why do you ask me that?”
She was taken aback by his words because she had been thinking—thinking about how he had broken things off with her grandmother and what that meant. It hinted that he wouldn’t be as much of a mouthpiece for that cold, traditional tone anymore. She deflected his question, saying it was never fair because you revealed something about yourself no matter how you answered. When he repeated “You reveal something about yourself?” as if he didn’t get it, she remembered that he hadn’t read the humorous American books. This led to a pause, as she had only lightened the mood with another laugh, and he was clearly gearing up to ask another question, which he wanted to keep separate from the last one. Eventually, just as they were getting closer to Mrs. Tramore, he asked, “Is this lady your mother?” After Rose confirmed and added that they were traveling together, he said, “Would you be kind enough to introduce me to her?” They were so close to Mrs. Tramore that she probably heard, but she glided away with a single stroke of her paddle, her head poised in a detached way. It was a striking display of her well-known tact, as Rose hesitated to respond, which was exactly what might have prompted her mother to turn around; and indeed, when the girl finally spoke, she only said to her companion, “Why do you ask me that?”
“Because I desire the pleasure of making her acquaintance.”
“Because I want the pleasure of getting to know her.”
Rose had stopped, and in the middle of the square they stood looking at each other. “Do you remember what you said to me the last time I saw you?”
Rose had stopped, and in the middle of the square they stood looking at each other. “Do you remember what you told me the last time I saw you?”
“Oh, don’t speak of that!”
“Oh, let’s not talk about that!”
“It’s better to speak of it now than to speak of it later.”
“It’s better to talk about it now than to talk about it later.”
Bertram Jay looked round him, as if to see whether any one would hear; but the bright foreignness gave him a sense of safety, and he unexpectedly exclaimed: “Miss Tramore, I love you more than ever!”
Bertram Jay looked around, as if checking if anyone would hear him; but the vibrant atmosphere made him feel safe, and he suddenly exclaimed, “Miss Tramore, I love you more than ever!”
“Then you ought to have come to see us,” declared the girl, quickly walking on.
“Then you should have come to see us,” the girl said, quickly continuing on her way.
“You treated me the last time as if I were positively offensive to you.”
“You treated me last time like I was really offensive to you.”
“So I did, but you know my reason.”
“So I did, but you know why.”
“Because I protested against the course you were taking? I did, I did!” the young man rang out, as if he still, a little, stuck to that.
“Because I complained about the path you were taking? I did, I did!” the young man exclaimed, as if he still somewhat clung to that.
His tone made Rose say gaily: “Perhaps you do so yet?”
His tone made Rose say cheerfully, “Maybe you still do?”
“I can’t tell till I’ve seen more of your circumstances,” he replied with eminent honesty.
“I can’t say until I’ve seen more of your situation,” he replied with great honesty.
The girl stared; her light laugh filled the air. “And it’s in order to see more of them and judge that you wish to make my mother’s acquaintance?”
The girl stared; her light laugh filled the air. “And you want to meet my mother so you can see more of them and judge?”
He coloured at this and he evaded; then he broke out with a confused “Miss Tramore, let me stay with you a little!” which made her stop again.
He flushed at this and avoided the topic; then he blurted out in a confused way, “Miss Tramore, can I stay with you for a bit?” which made her stop once more.
“Your company will do us great honour, but there must be a rigid condition attached to our acceptance of it.”
“Your company will honor us greatly, but there has to be a strict condition tied to our acceptance of it.”
“Kindly mention it,” said Captain Jay, staring at the façade of the cathedral.
“Please mention it,” said Captain Jay, looking at the front of the cathedral.
“You don’t take us on trial.”
“You don’t put us on trial.”
“On trial?”
"On trial?"
“You don’t make an observation to me—not a single one, ever, ever!—on the matter that, in Hill Street, we had our last words about.”
“You never say anything to me—not a single thing, ever!—about what we last talked about on Hill Street.”
Captain Jay appeared to be counting the thousand pinnacles of the church. “I think you really must be right,” he remarked at last.
Captain Jay seemed to be counting the thousand peaks of the church. “I think you must be right,” he finally said.
“There you are!” cried Rose Tramore, and walked rapidly away.
“There you are!” shouted Rose Tramore, and walked quickly away.
He caught up with her, he laid his hand upon her arm to stay her. “If you’re going to Venice, let me go to Venice with you!”
He caught up with her and placed his hand on her arm to stop her. “If you’re going to Venice, let me come with you!”
“You don’t even understand my condition.”
“You don’t even get my situation.”
“I’m sure you’re right, then: you must be right about everything.”
“I’m sure you’re right, then: you have to be right about everything.”
“That’s not in the least true, and I don’t care a fig whether you’re sure or not. Please let me go.”
“That’s not true at all, and I don’t care if you’re sure or not. Please let me go.”
He had barred her way, he kept her longer. “I’ll go and speak to your mother myself!”
He blocked her path and kept her there longer. “I’ll go talk to your mom myself!”
Even in the midst of another emotion she was amused at the air of audacity accompanying this declaration. Poor Captain Jay might have been on the point of marching up to a battery. She looked at him a moment; then she said: “You’ll be disappointed!”
Even in the midst of another emotion, she found it funny how bold this declaration sounded. Poor Captain Jay might as well have been gearing up to charge into battle. She studied him for a moment and then said, “You’re going to be disappointed!”
“Disappointed?”
"Feeling let down?"
“She’s much more proper than grandmamma, because she’s much more amiable.”
“She’s way more proper than grandma because she’s a lot friendlier.”
“Dear Miss Tramore—dear Miss Tramore!” the young man murmured helplessly.
“Dear Miss Tramore—dear Miss Tramore!” the young man murmured helplessly.
“You’ll see for yourself. Only there’s another condition,” Rose went on.
“You’ll see for yourself. But there’s one more condition,” Rose continued.
“Another?” he cried, with discouragement and alarm.
“Another?” he exclaimed, feeling both discouraged and alarmed.
“You must understand thoroughly, before you throw in your lot with us even for a few days, what our position really is.”
“You need to fully understand, before you join us even for a few days, what our situation truly is.”
“Is it very bad?” asked Bertram Jay artlessly.
"Is it really that bad?" asked Bertram Jay innocently.
“No one has anything to do with us, no one speaks to us, no one looks at us.”
“No one has anything to do with us, no one talks to us, no one looks at us.”
“Really?” stared the young man.
“Seriously?” stared the young man.
“We’ve no social existence, we’re utterly despised.”
“We have no social life, and we’re completely hated.”
“Oh, Miss Tramore!” Captain Jay interposed. He added quickly, vaguely, and with a want of presence of mind of which he as quickly felt ashamed: “Do none of your family—?” The question collapsed; the brilliant girl was looking at him.
“Oh, Miss Tramore!” Captain Jay interrupted. He added quickly, vaguely, and with a lack of composure that he soon felt embarrassed about: “Do any of your family—?” The question fell flat; the amazing girl was staring at him.
“We’re extraordinarily happy,” she threw out.
“We're so happy,” she said.
“Now that’s all I wanted to know!” he exclaimed, with a kind of exaggerated cheery reproach, walking on with her briskly to overtake her mother.
“Now that’s all I wanted to know!” he said, with an overly cheerful tone as he walked quickly to catch up with her mother.
He was not dining at their inn, but he insisted on coming that evening to their table d’hôte. He sat next Mrs. Tramore, and in the evening he accompanied them gallantly to the opera, at a third-rate theatre where they were almost the only ladies in the boxes. The next day they went together by rail to the Charterhouse of Pavia, and while he strolled with the girl, as they waited for the homeward train, he said to her candidly: “Your mother’s remarkably pretty.” She remembered the words and the feeling they gave her: they were the first note of new era. The feeling was somewhat that of an anxious, gratified matron who has “presented” her child and is thinking of the matrimonial market. Men might be of no use, as Mrs. Tramore said, yet it was from this moment Rose dated the rosy dawn of her confidence that her protégée would go off; and when later, in crowded assemblies, the phrase, or something like it behind a hat or a fan, fell repeatedly on her anxious ear, “Your mother is in beauty!” or “I’ve never seen her look better!” she had a faint vision of the yellow sunshine and the afternoon shadows on the dusty Italian platform.
He wasn’t staying at their inn, but he insisted on joining them that evening for their table d’hôte. He sat next to Mrs. Tramore, and in the evening, he gallantly took them to the opera at a small theater where they were almost the only ladies in the boxes. The next day, they traveled together by train to the Charterhouse of Pavia, and while he strolled with the girl as they waited for the train back home, he candidly said to her, “Your mother’s really pretty.” She remembered his words and the feeling they gave her: it was the first sign of a new era. She felt a bit like an anxious, satisfied matron who has “introduced” her child and is considering the dating scene. Men might not be useful, as Mrs. Tramore said, yet from this moment on, Rose felt the bright beginning of her confidence that her protégée would find a match; and later, in crowded gatherings, when she heard phrases like, “Your mother is a beauty!” or “I’ve never seen her look better!” she had a faint vision of the yellow sunshine and the afternoon shadows on the dusty Italian platform.
Mrs. Tramore’s behaviour at this period was a revelation of her native understanding of delicate situations. She needed no account of this one from her daughter—it was one of the things for which she had a scent; and there was a kind of loyalty to the rules of a game in the silent sweetness with which she smoothed the path of Bertram Jay. It was clear that she was in her element in fostering the exercise of the affections, and if she ever spoke without thinking twice it is probable that she would have exclaimed, with some gaiety, “Oh, I know all about love!” Rose could see that she thought their companion would be a help, in spite of his being no dispenser of patronage. The key to the gates of fashion had not been placed in his hand, and no one had ever heard of the ladies of his family, who lived in some vague hollow of the Yorkshire moors; but none the less he might administer a muscular push. Yes indeed, men in general were broken reeds, but Captain Jay was peculiarly representative. Respectability was the woman’s maximum, as honour was the man’s, but this distinguished young soldier inspired more than one kind of confidence. Rose had a great deal of attention for the use to which his respectability was put; and there mingled with this attention some amusement and much compassion. She saw that after a couple of days he decidedly liked her mother, and that he was yet not in the least aware of it. He took for granted that he believed in her but little; notwithstanding which he would have trusted her with anything except Rose herself. His trusting her with Rose would come very soon. He never spoke to her daughter about her qualities of character, but two or three of them (and indeed these were all the poor lady had, and they made the best show) were what he had in mind in praising her appearance. When he remarked: “What attention Mrs. Tramore seems to attract everywhere!” he meant: “What a beautifully simple nature it is!” and when he said: “There’s something extraordinarily harmonious in the colours she wears,” it signified: “Upon my word, I never saw such a sweet temper in my life!” She lost one of her boxes at Verona, and made the prettiest joke of it to Captain Jay. When Rose saw this she said to herself, “Next season we shall have only to choose.” Rose knew what was in the box.
Mrs. Tramore’s behavior during this time revealed her natural understanding of delicate situations. She didn't need her daughter to explain this one—it was something she had an instinct for; and there was a kind of loyalty to the unspoken rules in the quiet grace with which she cleared a path for Bertram Jay. It was obvious she thrived on encouraging romantic feelings, and if she ever spoke without thinking, she might have cheerfully declared, “Oh, I know all about love!” Rose could see that she believed their friend would be a help, despite his lack of social standing. He hadn’t been given the keys to high society, and no one had heard of his family, who lived somewhere obscure in the Yorkshire moors; nonetheless, he could still provide a supportive nudge. Indeed, while most men were unreliable, Captain Jay was particularly representative of this. Respectability was the woman's highest virtue, just as honor was for men, but this distinguished young soldier inspired more than one kind of trust. Rose paid great attention to how his respectability was being utilized; and alongside this attention, she felt a mix of amusement and compassion. She noticed that after a couple of days, he clearly liked her mother, yet he was completely unaware of it. He assumed he didn’t believe in her much; however, he would have trusted her with anything except Rose herself. His trust in her concerning Rose would come very soon. He never spoke to her daughter about her character traits, but two or three of them (and they were all the poor lady had, and they showed her best) were what he thought of when praising her appearance. When he commented, “What attention Mrs. Tramore seems to attract everywhere!” he meant, “What a beautifully simple nature she has!” and when he said, “There’s something extraordinarily harmonious in the colors she wears,” it signified, “I’ve never seen such a sweet temperament in my life!” She lost one of her boxes in Verona, and made the loveliest joke about it to Captain Jay. When Rose saw this, she thought to herself, “Next season we’ll only have to choose.” Rose knew what was in the box.
By the time they reached Venice (they had stopped at half a dozen little old romantic cities in the most frolicsome æsthetic way) she liked their companion better than she had ever liked him before. She did him the justice to recognise that if he was not quite honest with himself he was at least wholly honest with her. She reckoned up everything he had been since he joined them, and put upon it all an interpretation so favourable to his devotion that, catching herself in the act of glossing over one or two episodes that had not struck her at the time as disinterested she exclaimed, beneath her breath, “Look out—you’re falling in love!” But if he liked correctness wasn’t he quite right? Could any one possibly like it more than she did? And if he had protested against her throwing in her lot with her mother, this was not because of the benefit conferred but because of the injury received. He exaggerated that injury, but this was the privilege of a lover perfectly willing to be selfish on behalf of his mistress. He might have wanted her grandmother’s money for her, but if he had given her up on first discovering that she was throwing away her chance of it (oh, this was her doing too!) he had given up her grandmother as much: not keeping well with the old woman, as some men would have done; not waiting to see how the perverse experiment would turn out and appeasing her, if it should promise tolerably, with a view to future operations. He had had a simple-minded, evangelical, lurid view of what the girl he loved would find herself in for. She could see this now—she could see it from his present bewilderment and mystification, and she liked him and pitied him, with the kindest smile, for the original naïveté as well as for the actual meekness. No wonder he hadn’t known what she was in for, since he now didn’t even know what he was in for himself. Were there not moments when he thought his companions almost unnaturally good, almost suspiciously safe? He had lost all power to verify that sketch of their isolation and déclassement to which she had treated him on the great square at Milan. The last thing he noticed was that they were neglected, and he had never, for himself, had such an impression of society.
By the time they got to Venice (after stopping in about six charming old romantic cities in the most playful artistic way), she liked their companion more than she ever had before. She recognized that even if he wasn’t completely honest with himself, he was definitely honest with her. She thought about everything he had been since joining them, and put such a positive spin on it that, catching herself downplaying a couple of moments that hadn’t seemed selfless at the time, she muttered under her breath, “Watch out—you’re falling in love!” But if he appreciated correctness, wasn’t he right? Could anyone possibly like it more than she did? And even though he had protested against her joining her mother, it wasn’t because of the advantage it offered but rather due to the harm he felt. He exaggerated that harm, but that was the privilege of a lover who was willing to be selfish for his partner. He might have been after her grandmother’s money for her, but if he had walked away the moment he found out she was throwing away her chance for it (oh, this was her decision too!), he was also giving up on her grandmother: not trying to get on the old lady's good side like some men would, not waiting to see how her reckless choice would turn out and softening her up if it looked promising for future plans. He had a simple, almost naive view of what the girl he loved was getting into. She realized this now—she could see it in his current confusion and wonder, and she felt a kind pity for him, with the kindest smile, for both his original naïveté and his current meekness. No wonder he hadn’t understood what she was facing, since he didn’t even know what he was dealing with himself. Were there times when he thought his companions were almost unnaturally good, almost suspiciously safe? He had completely lost the ability to verify the picture of their isolation and déclassement that she had painted for him in the big square at Milan. The last thing he noticed was that they were ignored, and he had never, personally, felt such an impression of society.
It could scarcely be enhanced even by the apparition of a large, fair, hot, red-haired young man, carrying a lady’s fan in his hand, who suddenly stood before their little party as, on the third evening after their arrival in Venice, it partook of ices at one of the tables before the celebrated Café Florian. The lamplit Venetian dusk appeared to have revealed them to this gentleman as he sat with other friends at a neighbouring table, and he had sprung up, with unsophisticated glee, to shake hands with Mrs. Tramore and her daughter. Rose recalled him to her mother, who looked at first as though she didn’t remember him but presently bestowed a sufficiently gracious smile on Mr. Guy Mangler. He gave with youthful candour the history of his movements and indicated the whereabouts of his family: he was with his mother and sisters; they had met the Bob Veseys, who had taken Lord Whiteroy’s yacht and were going to Constantinople. His mother and the girls, poor things, were at the Grand Hotel, but he was on the yacht with the Veseys, where they had Lord Whiteroy’s cook. Wasn’t the food in Venice filthy, and wouldn’t they come and look at the yacht? She wasn’t very fast, but she was awfully jolly. His mother might have come if she would, but she wouldn’t at first, and now, when she wanted to, there were other people, who naturally wouldn’t turn out for her. Mr. Mangler sat down; he alluded with artless resentment to the way, in July, the door of his friends had been closed to him. He was going to Constantinople, but he didn’t care—if they were going anywhere; meanwhile his mother hoped awfully they would look her up.
It could hardly have been improved even by the sudden appearance of a tall, handsome, red-haired young man, holding a lady’s fan, who unexpectedly approached their small group while they were enjoying ice cream at one of the tables outside the famous Café Florian on the third evening after arriving in Venice. The lamplight of the Venetian twilight seemed to have revealed them to this gentleman, who was sitting with some friends at a nearby table. He jumped up, with genuine excitement, to shake hands with Mrs. Tramore and her daughter. Rose reminded her mother who he was, and at first, her mother looked like she didn’t recognize him, but soon offered a suitably warm smile to Mr. Guy Mangler. He spoke with youthful sincerity about what he had been up to and mentioned where his family was: he was with his mother and sisters; they had run into the Bob Veseys, who had taken Lord Whiteroy’s yacht and were heading to Constantinople. His mother and the girls, poor things, were at the Grand Hotel, but he was on the yacht with the Veseys, where they had Lord Whiteroy’s cook. Wasn’t the food in Venice terrible, and wouldn’t they come and check out the yacht? It wasn’t very fast, but it was a lot of fun. His mother might have joined them if she had wanted to, but at first, she didn’t, and now that she did, there were other people who naturally wouldn’t be available for her. Mr. Mangler sat down and mentioned with innocent frustration how, in July, his friends had shut him out. He was going to Constantinople, but he didn’t really care—if they were going anywhere; meanwhile, his mother was really hoping they would come visit her.
Lady Maresfield, if she had given her son any such message, which Rose disbelieved, entertained her hope in a manner compatible with her sitting for half an hour, surrounded by her little retinue, without glancing in the direction of Mrs. Tramore. The girl, however, was aware that this was not a good enough instance of their humiliation; inasmuch as it was rather she who, on the occasion of their last contact, had held off from Lady Maresfield. She was a little ashamed now of not having answered the note in which this affable personage ignored her mother. She couldn’t help perceiving indeed a dim movement on the part of some of the other members of the group; she made out an attitude of observation in the high-plumed head of Mrs. Vaughan-Vesey. Mrs. Vesey, perhaps, might have been looking at Captain Jay, for as this gentleman walked back to the hotel with our young lady (they were at the “Britannia,” and young Mangler, who clung to them, went in front with Mrs. Tramore) he revealed to Rose that he had some acquaintance with Lady Maresfield’s eldest daughter, though he didn’t know and didn’t particularly want to know, her ladyship. He expressed himself with more acerbity than she had ever heard him use (Christian charity so generally governed his speech) about the young donkey who had been prattling to them. They separated at the door of the hotel. Mrs. Tramore had got rid of Mr. Mangler, and Bertram Jay was in other quarters.
Lady Maresfield, if she had sent any message to her son, which Rose doubted, kept her hopes up in a way that allowed her to sit for half an hour, surrounded by her little entourage, without looking in Mrs. Tramore’s direction. However, the girl knew that this wasn’t a strong enough example of their humiliation, since it was actually she who had kept her distance from Lady Maresfield during their last encounter. Now, she felt a bit ashamed for not responding to the note in which this friendly person had ignored her mother. She couldn’t help but notice a slight shift from some of the other people in the group; she caught the observing gaze of Mrs. Vaughan-Vesey with her extravagant hat. Mrs. Vesey might have been looking at Captain Jay, because as this gentleman walked back to the hotel with Rose (they were at the “Britannia,” and young Mangler, who was with them, walked ahead with Mrs. Tramore), he revealed to Rose that he knew Lady Maresfield’s eldest daughter, although he didn’t know and didn’t especially want to know her ladyship. He spoke with more bitterness than she had ever heard from him (his speech was usually governed by Christian charity) about the young fool who had been chatting with them. They parted ways at the hotel entrance. Mrs. Tramore had gotten rid of Mr. Mangler, and Bertram Jay was heading elsewhere.
“If you know Mrs. Vesey, why didn’t you go and speak to her? I’m sure she saw you,” Rose said.
“If you know Mrs. Vesey, why didn’t you go talk to her? I’m sure she saw you,” Rose said.
Captain Jay replied even more circumspectly than usual. “Because I didn’t want to leave you.”
Captain Jay replied even more cautiously than usual. “Because I didn’t want to leave you.”
“Well, you can go now; you’re free,” Rose rejoined.
“Well, you can go now; you’re free,” Rose said.
“Thank you. I shall never go again.”
“Thank you. I will never go again.”
“That won’t be civil,” said Rose.
"That won't be civil," Rose said.
“I don’t care to be civil. I don’t like her.”
“I don’t feel the need to be polite. I don’t like her.”
“Why don’t you like her?”
“Why don’t you like her?”
“You ask too many questions.”
“You ask too many questions.”
“I know I do,” the girl acknowledged.
“I know I do,” the girl said.
Captain Jay had already shaken hands with her, but at this he put out his hand again. “She’s too worldly,” he murmured, while he held Rose Tramore’s a moment.
Captain Jay had already shaken hands with her, but at this, he extended his hand again. “She’s too worldly,” he murmured, while he held Rose Tramore’s for a moment.
“Ah, you dear!” Rose exclaimed almost audibly as, with her mother, she turned away.
“Ah, you dear!” Rose exclaimed almost loudly as, with her mother, she turned away.
The next morning, upon the Grand Canal, the gondola of our three friends encountered a stately barge which, though it contained several persons, seemed pervaded mainly by one majestic presence. During the instant the gondolas were passing each other it was impossible either for Rose Tramore or for her companions not to become conscious that this distinguished identity had markedly inclined itself—a circumstance commemorated the next moment, almost within earshot of the other boat, by the most spontaneous cry that had issued for many a day from the lips of Mrs. Tramore. “Fancy, my dear, Lady Maresfield has bowed to us!”
The next morning, on the Grand Canal, the gondola of our three friends came across a grand barge that, while it had several people on it, was mainly dominated by one commanding presence. As their gondolas passed each other, both Rose Tramore and her companions couldn’t help but notice that this distinguished figure had noticeably leaned in their direction—a moment that was celebrated just moments later, almost within earshot of the other boat, by the most spontaneous exclamation that had escaped Mrs. Tramore's lips in a long time. "Can you believe it, my dear, Lady Maresfield just bowed to us!”
“We ought to have returned it,” Rose answered; but she looked at Bertram Jay, who was opposite to her. He blushed, and she blushed, and during this moment was born a deeper understanding than had yet existed between these associated spirits. It had something to do with their going together that afternoon, without her mother, to look at certain out-of-the-way pictures as to which Ruskin had inspired her with a desire to see sincerely. Mrs. Tramore expressed the wish to stay at home, and the motive of this wish—a finer shade than any that even Ruskin had ever found a phrase for—was not translated into misrepresenting words by either the mother or the daughter. At San Giovanni in Bragora the girl and her companion came upon Mrs. Vaughan-Vesey, who, with one of her sisters, was also endeavouring to do the earnest thing. She did it to Rose, she did it to Captain Jay, as well as to Gianbellini; she was a handsome, long-necked, aquiline person, of a different type from the rest of her family, and she did it remarkably well. She secured our friends—it was her own expression—for luncheon, on the morrow, on the yacht, and she made it public to Rose that she would come that afternoon to invite her mother. When the girl returned to the hotel, Mrs. Tramore mentioned, before Captain Jay, who had come up to their sitting-room, that Lady Maresfield had called. “She stayed a long time—at least it seemed long!” laughed Mrs. Tramore.
“We should have returned it,” Rose replied; but she glanced at Bertram Jay, who was sitting across from her. He blushed, and she blushed, and in that moment, a deeper understanding developed between the two of them than had ever existed before. It had to do with their plan to go together that afternoon, without her mother, to see some off-the-beaten-path paintings that Ruskin had inspired her to genuinely want to see. Mrs. Tramore wanted to stay home, and the reason for this wish—a subtler sentiment than anything even Ruskin could articulate—was left unspoken by both mother and daughter. At San Giovanni in Bragora, Rose and her companion ran into Mrs. Vaughan-Vesey, who was also there with one of her sisters, trying to engage earnestly. She directed her efforts toward Rose, Captain Jay, and Gianbellini; she was an attractive, long-necked, distinguished-looking woman, unlike the rest of her family, and she did it exceptionally well. She managed to secure our friends—her own words—for lunch the next day on the yacht, and she informed Rose that she would come that afternoon to invite her mother. When the girl got back to the hotel, Mrs. Tramore mentioned, in front of Captain Jay, who had joined them in their sitting room, that Lady Maresfield had visited. “She stayed for quite a while—at least it felt that way!” laughed Mrs. Tramore.
The poor lady could laugh freely now; yet there was some grimness in a colloquy that she had with her daughter after Bertram Jay had departed. Before this happened Mrs. Vesey’s card, scrawled over in pencil and referring to the morrow’s luncheon, was brought up to Mrs. Tramore.
The poor lady could laugh openly now; yet there was a certain seriousness in the conversation she had with her daughter after Bertram Jay had left. Before this occurred, Mrs. Vesey’s card, messy with pencil marks and mentioning the lunch planned for the next day, was delivered to Mrs. Tramore.
“They mean it all as a bribe,” said the principal recipient of these civilities.
“They see it all as a bribe,” said the main recipient of these gestures.
“As a bribe?” Rose repeated.
"As a bribe?" Rose echoed.
“She wants to marry you to that boy; they’ve seen Captain Jay and they’re frightened.”
“She wants you to marry that guy; they’ve seen Captain Jay and they’re scared.”
“Well, dear mamma, I can’t take Mr. Mangler for a husband.”
“Well, dear mom, I can’t marry Mr. Mangler.”
“Of course not. But oughtn’t we to go to the luncheon?”
“Of course not. But shouldn’t we go to the lunch?”
“Certainly we’ll go to the luncheon,” Rose said; and when the affair took place, on the morrow, she could feel for the first time that she was taking her mother out. This appearance was somehow brought home to every one else, and it was really the agent of her success. For it is of the essence of this simple history that, in the first place, that success dated from Mrs. Vesey’s Venetian déjeuner, and in the second reposed, by a subtle social logic, on the very anomaly that had made it dubious. There is always a chance in things, and Rose Tramore’s chance was in the fact that Gwendolen Vesey was, as some one had said, awfully modern, an immense improvement on the exploded science of her mother, and capable of seeing what a “draw” there would be in the comedy, if properly brought out, of the reversed positions of Mrs. Tramore and Mrs. Tramore’s diplomatic daughter. With a first-rate managerial eye she perceived that people would flock into any room—and all the more into one of hers—to see Rose bring in her dreadful mother. She treated the cream of English society to this thrilling spectacle later in the autumn, when she once more “secured” both the performers for a week at Brimble. It made a hit on the spot, the very first evening—the girl was felt to play her part so well. The rumour of the performance spread; every one wanted to see it. It was an entertainment of which, that winter in the country, and the next season in town, persons of taste desired to give their friends the freshness. The thing was to make the Tramores come late, after every one had arrived. They were engaged for a fixed hour, like the American imitator and the Patagonian contralto. Mrs. Vesey had been the first to say the girl was awfully original, but that became the general view.
“Of course we’ll go to the luncheon,” Rose said; and when it happened the next day, she felt for the first time that she was taking her mother out. This impression somehow resonated with everyone else, and it was truly the reason for her success. The essence of this simple story is that, first, this success began with Mrs. Vesey’s Venetian déjeuner, and second, it rested, through a subtle social logic, on the very peculiarity that had made it uncertain. There’s always a chance in things, and Rose Tramore’s chance lay in the fact that Gwendolen Vesey was, as someone put it, incredibly modern, a huge improvement on her mother’s outdated ways, and able to see how appealing it would be in the comedy if the roles of Mrs. Tramore and her diplomatic daughter were reversed. With a keen managerial eye, she realized that people would be eager to fill any room—and especially one of hers—to watch Rose bring in her awful mother. She showcased this thrilling spectacle to the best of English society later in the autumn when she once again “secured” both participants for a week at Brimble. It was an instant success, right from the first evening—the girl was felt to play her part exceptionally well. The buzz about the performance spread; everyone wanted to catch it. It became an event that, that winter in the countryside and the following season in the city, people of taste wanted to share with their friends. The key was to make the Tramores arrive late, after everyone else had shown up. They were booked for a specific time, just like the American imitator and the Patagonian contralto. Mrs. Vesey was the first to declare that the girl was incredibly original, but that quickly became the common opinion.
Gwendolen Vesey had with her mother one of the few quarrels in which Lady Maresfield had really stood up to such an antagonist (the elder woman had to recognise in general in whose veins it was that the blood of the Manglers flowed) on account of this very circumstance of her attaching more importance to Miss Tramore’s originality (“Her originality be hanged!” her ladyship had gone so far as unintelligently to exclaim) than to the prospects of the unfortunate Guy. Mrs. Vesey actually lost sight of these pressing problems in her admiration of the way the mother and the daughter, or rather the daughter and the mother (it was slightly confusing) “drew.” It was Lady Maresfield’s version of the case that the brazen girl (she was shockingly coarse) had treated poor Guy abominably. At any rate it was made known, just after Easter, that Miss Tramore was to be married to Captain Jay. The marriage was not to take place till the summer; but Rose felt that before this the field would practically be won. There had been some bad moments, there had been several warm corners and a certain number of cold shoulders and closed doors and stony stares; but the breach was effectually made—the rest was only a question of time. Mrs. Tramore could be trusted to keep what she had gained, and it was the dowagers, the old dragons with prominent fangs and glittering scales, whom the trick had already mainly caught. By this time there were several houses into which the liberated lady had crept alone. Her daughter had been expected with her, but they couldn’t turn her out because the girl had stayed behind, and she was fast acquiring a new identity, that of a parental connection with the heroine of such a romantic story. She was at least the next best thing to her daughter, and Rose foresaw the day when she would be valued principally as a memento of one of the prettiest episodes in the annals of London. At a big official party, in June, Rose had the joy of introducing Eric to his mother. She was a little sorry it was an official party—there were some other such queer people there; but Eric called, observing the shade, the next day but one.
Gwendolen Vesey had one of the few arguments with her mother that Lady Maresfield truly confronted her opponent about (the older woman had to acknowledge who really held the Manglers' bloodline) because of her greater concern for Miss Tramore’s originality (“Her originality be hanged!” her ladyship had even exclaimed unintelligibly) than for the future of the unfortunate Guy. Mrs. Vesey actually lost sight of these urgent concerns in her admiration for how the mother and daughter, or rather the daughter and mother (it was a bit confusing) “interacted.” Lady Maresfield believed that the bold girl (she was shockingly crude) had treated poor Guy terribly. At any rate, it was announced just after Easter that Miss Tramore was going to marry Captain Jay. The wedding wasn’t set to happen until the summer, but Rose felt that before then, the game would be practically won. There had been some tense moments, several heated exchanges, and a fair number of cold shoulders, closed doors, and icy glares; but the divide was firmly established—the rest was just a matter of time. Mrs. Tramore could be counted on to maintain her gains, and it was the older women, the fierce matriarchs with sharp fangs and shimmering scales, who had mostly fallen for the trick already. By now, there were several homes where the newly single lady had slipped in alone. Her daughter was expected with her, but they couldn’t dismiss her since the girl had stayed behind, and she was quickly acquiring a new identity as a connection to the heroine of such a romantic tale. She was at least the next best thing to her daughter, and Rose envisioned the day when she would mainly be appreciated as a reminder of one of London’s most charming episodes. At a large official event in June, Rose was thrilled to introduce Eric to his mother. She was a bit regretful it was an official gathering—there were some other rather odd people there; but Eric called, noting the atmosphere, two days later.
No observer, probably, would have been acute enough to fix exactly the moment at which the girl ceased to take out her mother and began to be taken out by her. A later phase was more distinguishable—that at which Rose forbore to inflict on her companion a duality that might become oppressive. She began to economise her force, she went only when the particular effect was required. Her marriage was delayed by the period of mourning consequent upon the death of her grandmother, who, the younger Mrs. Tramore averred, was killed by the rumour of her own new birth. She was the only one of the dragons who had not been tamed. Julia Tramore knew the truth about this—she was determined such things should not kill her. She would live to do something—she hardly knew what. The provisions of her mother’s will were published in the “Illustrated News”; from which it appeared that everything that was not to go to Eric and to Julia was to go to the fortunate Edith. Miss Tramore makes no secret of her own intentions as regards this favourite.
No one could probably pinpoint the exact moment when the girl stopped taking her mother out and started being taken out by her. A later stage was clearer—that point when Rose decided not to overwhelm her friend with a duality that could become too much. She started to conserve her energy, going out only when she needed a specific effect. Her marriage was postponed due to the mourning period after her grandmother's death, who, according to the younger Mrs. Tramore, died from the rumors surrounding her own new beginning. She was the only one of the dragons who hadn't been tamed. Julia Tramore knew the truth about this—she was resolved that such things wouldn’t defeat her. She was determined to live to accomplish something—though she wasn’t quite sure what. The details of her mother’s will were published in the “Illustrated News”; it revealed that everything not going to Eric and Julia would go to the lucky Edith. Miss Tramore makes no secret of her own plans regarding this favorite.
Edith is not pretty, but Lady Maresfield is waiting for her; she is determined Gwendolen Vesey shall not get hold of her. Mrs. Vesey however takes no interest in her at all. She is whimsical, as befits a woman of her fashion; but there are two persons she is still very fond of, the delightful Bertram Jays. The fondness of this pair, it must be added, is not wholly expended in return. They are extremely united, but their life is more domestic than might have been expected from the preliminary signs. It owes a portion of its concentration to the fact that Mrs. Tramore has now so many places to go to that she has almost no time to come to her daughter’s. She is, under her son-in-law’s roof, a brilliant but a rare apparition, and the other day he remarked upon the circumstance to his wife.
Edith isn’t pretty, but Lady Maresfield is waiting for her; she’s determined that Gwendolen Vesey won’t get her hands on her. Mrs. Vesey, however, shows no interest in her at all. She’s whimsical, as befits a woman of her status; but there are two people she still adores, the delightful Bertram Jays. It should be noted that their affection isn’t entirely mutual. They are very much together, but their life is more domestic than one might expect from the initial signs. This focus is partly because Mrs. Tramore has so many places to go that she barely has time to visit her daughter. She is under her son-in-law’s roof, a brilliant but rare sight, and the other day he commented on this to his wife.
“If it hadn’t been for you,” she replied, smiling, “she might have had her regular place at our fireside.”
“If it hadn't been for you,” she said, smiling, “she might have had her usual spot by our fire.”
“Good heavens, how did I prevent it?” cried Captain Jay, with all the consciousness of virtue.
“Good heavens, how did I stop it?” cried Captain Jay, with a strong sense of righteousness.
“You ordered it otherwise, you goose!” And she says, in the same spirit, whenever her husband commends her (which he does, sometimes, extravagantly) for the way she launched her mother: “Nonsense, my dear—practically it was you!”
“You ordered it differently, you silly goose!” And she says, in the same tone, whenever her husband praises her (which he does, sometimes, quite lavishly) for how she handled her mother: “Nonsense, my dear—it was practically you!”
p. 249GREVILLE FANE.
Coming in to dress for dinner, I found a telegram: “Mrs. Stormer dying; can you give us half a column for to-morrow evening? Let her off easy, but not too easy.” I was late; I was in a hurry; I had very little time to think, but at a venture I dispatched a reply: “Will do what I can.” It was not till I had dressed and was rolling away to dinner that, in the hansom, I bethought myself of the difficulty of the condition attached. The difficulty was not of course in letting her off easy but in qualifying that indulgence. “I simply won’t qualify it,” I said to myself. I didn’t admire her, but I liked her, and I had known her so long that I almost felt heartless in sitting down at such an hour to a feast of indifference. I must have seemed abstracted, for the early years of my acquaintance with her came back to me. I spoke of her to the lady I had taken down, but the lady I had taken down had never heard of Greville Fane. I tried my other neighbour, who pronounced her books “too vile.” I had never thought them very good, but I should let her off easier than that.
Arriving in to get ready for dinner, I found a telegram: “Mrs. Stormer is dying; can you give us half a column for tomorrow evening? Let her off easy, but not too easy.” I was running late; I was in a hurry; I had very little time to think, but on a whim I sent a reply: “Will do what I can.” It wasn't until I had dressed and was heading off to dinner in the cab that I realized how tricky the condition was. The challenge wasn't really in letting her off easy, but in defining that leniency. “I simply won’t define it,” I told myself. I didn’t admire her, but I liked her, and I had known her for so long that I almost felt heartless sitting down to a feast of indifference at such an hour. I must have seemed distracted because memories from the early years of my acquaintance with her came flooding back. I mentioned her to the lady I was with, but she had never heard of Greville Fane. I tried talking to my other neighbor, who dismissed her books as “too vile.” I never thought they were that great, but I would give her a kinder assessment than that.
I came away early, for the express purpose of driving to ask about her. The journey took time, for she lived in the north-west district, in the neighbourhood of Primrose Hill. My apprehension that I should be too late was justified in a fuller sense than I had attached to it—I had only feared that the house would be shut up. There were lights in the windows, and the temperate tinkle of my bell brought a servant immediately to the door, but poor Mrs. Stormer had passed into a state in which the resonance of no earthly knocker was to be feared. A lady, in the hall, hovering behind the servant, came forward when she heard my voice. I recognised Lady Luard, but she had mistaken me for the doctor.
I left early to find out how she was doing. The trip took a while since she lived in the northwest part of town, near Primrose Hill. My worry that I would arrive too late was more accurate than I anticipated—I initially only feared that the house would be closed. There were lights on in the windows, and the gentle chime of my bell brought a servant right to the door, but poor Mrs. Stormer had reached a point where no earthly knock could disturb her anymore. A lady in the hall, standing behind the servant, came forward when she heard my voice. I recognized Lady Luard, but she thought I was the doctor.
“Excuse my appearing at such an hour,” I said; “it was the first possible moment after I heard.”
“Sorry for showing up at such a late hour,” I said; “it was the first chance I had after I found out.”
“It’s all over,” Lady Luard replied. “Dearest mamma!”
“It’s all over,” Lady Luard said. “Dear mom!”
She stood there under the lamp with her eyes on me; she was very tall, very stiff, very cold, and always looked as if these things, and some others beside, in her dress, her manner and even her name, were an implication that she was very admirable. I had never been able to follow the argument, but that is a detail. I expressed briefly and frankly what I felt, while the little mottled maidservant flattened herself against the wall of the narrow passage and tried to look detached without looking indifferent. It was not a moment to make a visit, and I was on the point of retreating when Lady Luard arrested me with a queer, casual, drawling “Would you—a—would you, perhaps, be writing something?” I felt for the instant like an interviewer, which I was not. But I pleaded guilty to this intention, on which she rejoined: “I’m so very glad—but I think my brother would like to see you.” I detested her brother, but it wasn’t an occasion to act this out; so I suffered myself to be inducted, to my surprise, into a small back room which I immediately recognised as the scene, during the later years, of Mrs. Stormer’s imperturbable industry. Her table was there, the battered and blotted accessory to innumerable literary lapses, with its contracted space for the arms (she wrote only from the elbow down) and the confusion of scrappy, scribbled sheets which had already become literary remains. Leolin was also there, smoking a cigarette before the fire and looking impudent even in his grief, sincere as it well might have been.
She stood under the lamp, looking at me; she was really tall, very rigid, and very cold, and always seemed like everything about her—her dress, her demeanor, and even her name—was meant to suggest that she was impressive. I never really understood that, but that’s not the point. I briefly and honestly shared how I felt, while the little speckled maid pressed herself against the wall of the narrow hallway, trying to look neutral but not indifferent. It wasn’t the right time for a visit, and I was about to leave when Lady Luard stopped me with a strange, casual, drawn-out “Would you—uh—would you maybe be writing something?” For a moment, I felt like an interviewer, which I wasn’t. But I admitted that was my intention, and she replied, “I’m so glad—but I think my brother would like to see you.” I couldn’t stand her brother, but it wasn’t the right moment to show that, so I let her lead me into a small back room that I instantly recognized as the place where Mrs. Stormer had done her relentless work in the later years. Her table was there, the battered, stained remains of countless literary mishaps, with barely enough space for arms (she wrote only from the elbow down) and a messy pile of jotted, scribbled sheets that had already become literary relics. Leolin was there too, smoking a cigarette by the fire and looking cocky despite his grief, which might have been genuine.
To meet him, to greet him, I had to make a sharp effort; for the air that he wore to me as he stood before me was quite that of his mother’s murderer. She lay silent for ever upstairs—as dead as an unsuccessful book, and his swaggering erectness was a kind of symbol of his having killed her. I wondered if he had already, with his sister, been calculating what they could get for the poor papers on the table; but I had not long to wait to learn, for in reply to the scanty words of sympathy I addressed him he puffed out: “It’s miserable, miserable, yes; but she has left three books complete.” His words had the oddest effect; they converted the cramped little room into a seat of trade and made the “book” wonderfully feasible. He would certainly get all that could be got for the three. Lady Luard explained to me that her husband had been with them but had had to go down to the House. To her brother she explained that I was going to write something, and to me again she made it clear that she hoped I would “do mamma justice.” She added that she didn’t think this had ever been done. She said to her brother: “Don’t you think there are some things he ought thoroughly to understand?” and on his instantly exclaiming “Oh, thoroughly—thoroughly!” she went on, rather austerely: “I mean about mamma’s birth.”
To meet him and greet him, I had to put in a real effort because the vibe he gave off felt just like that of his mother’s killer. She was up there, forever silent—dead like a failed book—and his confident stance was a symbol of his having done away with her. I wondered if he and his sister were already calculating what they could get for the poor papers on the table; but I didn’t have to wait long to find out, as in response to the few sympathetic words I shared, he exclaimed: “It’s awful, awful, yes; but she has left three complete books.” His words had a surprisingly powerful effect, turning the cramped little room into a marketplace and making the idea of a “book” seem very real. He would definitely get everything possible for the three. Lady Luard explained to me that her husband had been with them but had to go down to the House. She told her brother that I was going to write something and made it clear to me that she hoped I would “do mama justice.” She added that she didn’t think that had ever been done. She said to her brother, “Don’t you think there are some things he should really understand?” and when he immediately exclaimed, “Oh, absolutely—absolutely!” she added, somewhat sternly: “I mean about mama’s background.”
“Yes, and her connections,” Leolin added.
“Yes, and her connections,” Leolin said.
I professed every willingness, and for five minutes I listened, but it would be too much to say that I understood. I don’t even now, but it is not important. My vision was of other matters than those they put before me, and while they desired there should be no mistake about their ancestors I became more and more lucid about themselves. I got away as soon as possible, and walked home through the great dusky, empty London—the best of all conditions for thought. By the time I reached my door my little article was practically composed—ready to be transferred on the morrow from the polished plate of fancy. I believe it attracted some notice, was thought “graceful” and was said to be by some one else. I had to be pointed without being lively, and it took some tact. But what I said was much less interesting than what I thought—especially during the half-hour I spent in my armchair by the fire, smoking the cigar I always light before going to bed. I went to sleep there, I believe; but I continued to moralise about Greville Fane. I am reluctant to lose that retrospect altogether, and this is a dim little memory of it, a document not to “serve.” The dear woman had written a hundred stories, but none so curious as her own.
I showed every willingness, and for five minutes I listened, but it would be too much to say that I understood. I still don’t, but that’s not important. My mind was on other things besides what they were discussing, and while they wanted me to be clear about their ancestors, I became more and more aware of who they were themselves. I left as soon as I could and walked home through the vast, dark, empty streets of London—the best setting for thinking. By the time I got to my door, my little article was almost finished—ready to be transferred the next day from the polished plate of imagination. I believe it caught some attention, was thought to be “graceful,” and was attributed to someone else. I had to be sharp without being too lively, which took some finesse. But what I said was much less interesting than what I thought—especially during the half-hour I spent in my armchair by the fire, smoking the cigar I always light before going to bed. I think I fell asleep there, but I kept reflecting on Greville Fane. I’m hesitant to lose that memory completely, and this is a vague little reminder of it, a document not meant to “serve.” The dear woman had written a hundred stories, but none was as intriguing as her own.
When first I knew her she had published half-a-dozen fictions, and I believe I had also perpetrated a novel. She was more than a dozen years older than I, but she was a person who always acknowledged her relativity. It was not so very long ago, but in London, amid the big waves of the present, even a near horizon gets hidden. I met her at some dinner and took her down, rather flattered at offering my arm to a celebrity. She didn’t look like one, with her matronly, mild, inanimate face, but I supposed her greatness would come out in her conversation. I gave it all the opportunities I could, but I was not disappointed when I found her only a dull, kind woman. This was why I liked her—she rested me so from literature. To myself literature was an irritation, a torment; but Greville Fane slumbered in the intellectual part of it like a Creole in a hammock. She was not a woman of genius, but her faculty was so special, so much a gift out of hand, that I have often wondered why she fell below that distinction. This was doubtless because the transaction, in her case, had remained incomplete; genius always pays for the gift, feels the debt, and she was placidly unconscious of obligation. She could invent stories by the yard, but she couldn’t write a page of English. She went down to her grave without suspecting that though she had contributed volumes to the diversion of her contemporaries she had not contributed a sentence to the language. This had not prevented bushels of criticism from being heaped upon her head; she was worth a couple of columns any day to the weekly papers, in which it was shown that her pictures of life were dreadful but her style really charming. She asked me to come and see her, and I went. She lived then in Montpellier Square; which helped me to see how dissociated her imagination was from her character.
When I first met her, she had published about six novels, and I think I had also written a book. She was more than a dozen years older than me, but she always recognized her place in relation to others. It wasn't too long ago, but in London, amidst the constant hustle of life, even a nearby horizon can disappear. I encountered her at a dinner and walked her to her seat, feeling quite honored to offer my arm to a celebrity. She didn’t look the part, with her matronly, gentle, blank expression, but I thought her brilliance would show through in our conversation. I gave her every chance, but I wasn't let down when I realized she was just a kind, dull woman. This is why I liked her—she provided a break from literature. To me, literature was an annoyance, a struggle; yet Greville Fane seemed completely relaxed in the intellectual realm, like a Creole lounging in a hammock. She wasn’t a genius, but her talent was so unique, so naturally gifted, that I’ve often wondered why she didn’t rise to that level. This was probably because her potential had never been fully realized; geniuses always feel the weight of their gift and know the debt they owe, whereas she was blissfully unaware of any obligation. She could churn out stories endlessly, but she couldn’t write a single page of proper English. She passed away without realizing that although she had entertained her peers with countless stories, she hadn’t contributed a single sentence to the language itself. This didn’t stop critics from piling on the reviews; she was good for a couple of columns any day in the weekly papers, which argued that her portrayals of life were terrible but her style was genuinely charming. She invited me over, and I went. At that time, she lived in Montpellier Square, which highlighted how disconnected her imagination was from her actual character.
An industrious widow, devoted to her daily stint, to meeting the butcher and baker and making a home for her son and daughter, from the moment she took her pen in her hand she became a creature of passion. She thought the English novel deplorably wanting in that element, and the task she had cut out for herself was to supply the deficiency. Passion in high life was the general formula of this work, for her imagination was at home only in the most exalted circles. She adored, in truth, the aristocracy, and they constituted for her the romance of the world or, what is more to the point, the prime material of fiction. Their beauty and luxury, their loves and revenges, their temptations and surrenders, their immoralities and diamonds were as familiar to her as the blots on her writing-table. She was not a belated producer of the old fashionable novel, she had a cleverness and a modernness of her own, she had freshened up the fly-blown tinsel. She turned off plots by the hundred and—so far as her flying quill could convey her—was perpetually going abroad. Her types, her illustrations, her tone were nothing if not cosmopolitan. She recognised nothing less provincial than European society, and her fine folk knew each other and made love to each other from Doncaster to Bucharest. She had an idea that she resembled Balzac, and her favourite historical characters were Lucien de Rubempré and the Vidame de Pamiers. I must add that when I once asked her who the latter personage was she was unable to tell me. She was very brave and healthy and cheerful, very abundant and innocent and wicked. She was clever and vulgar and snobbish, and never so intensely British as when she was particularly foreign.
An hardworking widow, committed to her daily routines of meeting the butcher and baker and creating a home for her son and daughter, transformed into a passionate individual the moment she picked up her pen. She felt that English novels seriously lacked passion, and her mission was to fill that gap. Passion in high society was the main focus of her work, as her imagination thrived only in the most elite circles. She truly admired the aristocracy, seeing them as the essence of the world's romance and, more importantly, the core material for fiction. Their beauty and luxury, their loves and vendettas, their temptations and yielding, their scandals and diamonds were as familiar to her as the stains on her writing desk. She wasn't just a late producer of the old fashionable novel; she had her own cleverness and modern touch that revitalized the tired clichés. She churned out plots by the hundreds and—at least as much as her rapid writing could express—was constantly traveling abroad. Her characters, settings, and tone were undeniably cosmopolitan. She recognized nothing less than European society as her sphere, and her upper-class characters knew each other and fell in love from Doncaster to Bucharest. She had the impression that she was like Balzac, and her favorite historical figures were Lucien de Rubempré and the Vidame de Pamiers. I should mention that when I once asked her who the latter was, she couldn’t tell me. She was very brave, healthy, cheerful, abundant, innocent, and wicked all at once. She was clever, vulgar, and snobbish, never more intensely British than when she was acting particularly foreign.
This combination of qualities had brought her early success, and I remember having heard with wonder and envy of what she “got,” in those days, for a novel. The revelation gave me a pang: it was such a proof that, practising a totally different style, I should never make my fortune. And yet when, as I knew her better she told me her real tariff and I saw how rumour had quadrupled it, I liked her enough to be sorry. After a while I discovered too that if she got less it was not that I was to get any more. My failure never had what Mrs. Stormer would have called the banality of being relative—it was always admirably absolute. She lived at ease however in those days—ease is exactly the word, though she produced three novels a year. She scorned me when I spoke of difficulty—it was the only thing that made her angry. If I hinted that a work of art required a tremendous licking into shape she thought it a pretension and a pose. She never recognised the “torment of form”; the furthest she went was to introduce into one of her books (in satire her hand was heavy) a young poet who was always talking about it. I couldn’t quite understand her irritation on this score, for she had nothing at stake in the matter. She had a shrewd perception that form, in prose at least, never recommended any one to the public we were condemned to address, and therefore she lost nothing (putting her private humiliation aside) by not having any. She made no pretence of producing works of art, but had comfortable tea-drinking hours in which she freely confessed herself a common pastrycook, dealing in such tarts and puddings as would bring customers to the shop. She put in plenty of sugar and of cochineal, or whatever it is that gives these articles a rich and attractive colour. She had a serene superiority to observation and opportunity which constituted an inexpugnable strength and would enable her to go on indefinitely. It is only real success that wanes, it is only solid things that melt. Greville Fane’s ignorance of life was a resource still more unfailing than the most approved receipt. On her saying once that the day would come when she should have written herself out I answered: “Ah, you look into fairyland, and the fairies love you, and they never change. Fairyland is always there; it always was from the beginning of time, and it always will be to the end. They’ve given you the key and you can always open the door. With me it’s different; I try, in my clumsy way, to be in some direct relation to life.” “Oh, bother your direct relation to life!” she used to reply, for she was always annoyed by the phrase—which would not in the least prevent her from using it when she wished to try for style. With no more prejudices than an old sausage-mill, she would give forth again with patient punctuality any poor verbal scrap that had been dropped into her. I cheered her with saying that the dark day, at the end, would be for the like of me; inasmuch as, going in our small way by experience and observation, we depended not on a revelation, but on a little tiresome process. Observation depended on opportunity, and where should we be when opportunity failed?
This mix of qualities had brought her early success, and I remember hearing with wonder and envy about what she "made" for a novel back then. The realization struck me hard: it was proof that, writing in a totally different style, I would never find my fortune. And yet, as I got to know her better and she told me her real rates, which were nowhere near what the gossip claimed, I felt sorry for her. Eventually, I also realized that if she earned less, it didn't mean I would get any more. My failure never had what Mrs. Stormer would have called the banality of being relative—it was always frustratingly absolute. Still, she lived comfortably at that time—comfortably is just the right word, even though she produced three novels a year. She looked down on me when I mentioned difficulty—it was the only thing that really annoyed her. If I suggested that creating a work of art took a tremendous effort, she saw it as pretentious and a “pose.” She never acknowledged the “torment of form”; the closest she came was to create a young poet in one of her books (she was heavy-handed in satire) who was always going on about it. I couldn’t fully grasp her irritation regarding this, as she had nothing invested in the outcome. She had a keen understanding that form, at least in prose, never won over the audience we were stuck addressing, so she lost nothing (setting aside her private humiliation) by lacking it. She made no pretense of crafting works of art but enjoyed comfortable tea times where she freely admitted she was just a regular baker, selling the kinds of tarts and puddings that would attract customers. She added plenty of sugar and food coloring, or whatever it is that gives those treats a rich and appealing look. She had a calm superiority to observation and opportunity that was a solid strength and would allow her to continue indefinitely. Only real success fades, only substantial things dissolve. Greville Fane’s naïveté about life was a resource even more reliable than the best recipe. When she once said that the day would come when she’d run out of things to say, I replied: “Ah, you look into fairyland, and the fairies love you, and they never change. Fairyland is always there; it has always existed since the beginning of time, and it will always be there until the end. They’ve given you the key, and you can always open the door. With me, it’s different; I try, in my clumsy way, to have some direct connection to life.” “Oh, just forget your direct connection to life!” she’d say back, always annoyed by that phrase—which didn’t stop her from using it whenever she wanted to sound stylish. With as few biases as an old sausage grinder, she would turn out any poor little verbal piece that had been fed into her. I cheered her up by saying that the dark day at the end would be for people like me; because, relying on our limited experience and observation, we depended not on a revelation but on a tedious little process. Observation depended on opportunity, and where would we be when opportunity dried up?
One day she told me that as the novelist’s life was so delightful and during the good years at least such a comfortable support (she had these staggering optimisms) she meant to train up her boy to follow it. She took the ingenious view that it was a profession like another and that therefore everything was to be gained by beginning young and serving an apprenticeship. Moreover the education would be less expensive than any other special course, inasmuch as she could administer it herself. She didn’t profess to keep a school, but she could at least teach her own child. It was not that she was so very clever, but (she confessed to me as if she were afraid I would laugh at her) that he was. I didn’t laugh at her for that, for I thought the boy sharp—I had seen him at sundry times. He was well grown and good-looking and unabashed, and both he and his sister made me wonder about their defunct papa, concerning whom the little I knew was that he had been a clergyman. I explained them to myself by suppositions and imputations possibly unjust to the departed; so little were they—superficially at least—the children of their mother. There used to be, on an easel in her drawing-room, an enlarged photograph of her husband, done by some horrible posthumous “process” and draped, as to its florid frame, with a silken scarf, which testified to the candour of Greville Fane’s bad taste. It made him look like an unsuccessful tragedian; but it was not a thing to trust. He may have been a successful comedian. Of the two children the girl was the elder, and struck me in all her younger years as singularly colourless. She was only very long, like an undecipherable letter. It was not till Mrs. Stormer came back from a protracted residence abroad that Ethel (which was this young lady’s name) began to produce the effect, which was afterwards remarkable in her, of a certain kind of high resolution. She made one apprehend that she meant to do something for herself. She was long-necked and near-sighted and striking, and I thought I had never seen sweet seventeen in a form so hard and high and dry. She was cold and affected and ambitious, and she carried an eyeglass with a long handle, which she put up whenever she wanted not to see. She had come out, as the phrase is, immensely; and yet I felt as if she were surrounded with a spiked iron railing. What she meant to do for herself was to marry, and it was the only thing, I think, that she meant to do for any one else; yet who would be inspired to clamber over that bristling barrier? What flower of tenderness or of intimacy would such an adventurer conceive as his reward?
One day she told me that since the novelist’s life was so enjoyable and, at least during the good years, such a comfy support (she had these incredible hopes), she planned to raise her son to pursue it. She had the clever idea that it was a profession like any other, so everything could be gained by starting young and serving an apprenticeship. Plus, the education would be cheaper than any other specialized course since she could teach him herself. She didn’t claim to run a school, but she could at least educate her own child. It wasn’t that she was exceptionally clever, but (she admitted to me as if worried I would mock her) that he was. I didn’t laugh at her for that, as I thought the boy was sharp—I had seen him a few times. He was well-built, attractive, and confident, and both he and his sister made me curious about their late father, of whom I only knew a little: he had been a clergyman. I tried to understand them through assumptions and attributions that might have been unfair to the deceased; superficially, at least, they didn’t seem much like their mother. There used to be, on an easel in her living room, an enlarged photo of her husband, done by some awful posthumous “process” and draped, as to its gaudy frame, with a silk scarf, which showed Greville Fane’s bad taste. It made him look like an unsuccessful actor; but it was not a reliable image. He might have been a successful comedian. Of the two children, the girl was the older and struck me, throughout her younger years, as unusually bland. She was just very tall, like an unreadable letter. It wasn’t until Mrs. Stormer returned from a long stay abroad that Ethel (which was this young lady’s name) began to show the remarkable quality in her of a certain kind of strong determination. She made it clear that she intended to do something for herself. She was long-necked, near-sighted, and striking, and I thought I had never seen a seventeen-year-old in such a hard, high, and dry form. She was cold, affected, and ambitious, and she carried a long-handled eyeglass, which she put up whenever she didn’t want to see. She had truly come out, as the saying goes; and yet I felt as if she were surrounded by a spiked iron fence. What she intended to do for herself was to marry, and it was the only thing, I think, she meant to do for anyone else; yet who would be inspired to climb over that prickly barrier? What kind of affection or intimacy would such a brave person hope for as their reward?
This was for Sir Baldwin Luard to say; but he naturally never confided to me the secret. He was a joyless, jokeless young man, with the air of having other secrets as well, and a determination to get on politically that was indicated by his never having been known to commit himself—as regards any proposition whatever—beyond an exclamatory “Oh!” His wife and he must have conversed mainly in prim ejaculations, but they understood sufficiently that they were kindred spirits. I remember being angry with Greville Fane when she announced these nuptials to me as magnificent; I remember asking her what splendour there was in the union of the daughter of a woman of genius with an irredeemable mediocrity. “Oh! he’s awfully clever,” she said; but she blushed for the maternal fib. What she meant was that though Sir Baldwin’s estates were not vast (he had a dreary house in South Kensington and a still drearier “Hall” somewhere in Essex, which was let), the connection was a “smarter” one than a child of hers could have aspired to form. In spite of the social bravery of her novels she took a very humble and dingy view of herself, so that of all her productions “my daughter Lady Luard” was quite the one she was proudest of. That personage thought her mother very vulgar and was distressed and perplexed by the occasional license of her pen, but had a complicated attitude in regard to this indirect connection with literature. So far as it was lucrative her ladyship approved of it, and could compound with the inferiority of the pursuit by doing practical justice to some of its advantages. I had reason to know (my reason was simply that poor Mrs. Stormer told me) that she suffered the inky fingers to press an occasional bank-note into her palm. On the other hand she deplored the “peculiar style” to which Greville Fane had devoted herself, and wondered where an author who had the convenience of so lady-like a daughter could have picked up such views about the best society. “She might know better, with Leolin and me,” Lady Luard had been known to remark; but it appeared that some of Greville Fane’s superstitions were incurable. She didn’t live in Lady Luard’s society, and the best was not good enough for her—she must make it still better.
This was for Sir Baldwin Luard to say, but he obviously never shared the secret with me. He was a serious, humorless young man, giving off the vibe that he had other secrets too. His drive to succeed in politics was shown by the fact that he never committed to any proposal beyond an exclamatory “Oh!” He and his wife must have communicated mostly through short, formal exclamations, yet they understood well enough that they were kindred spirits. I remember feeling annoyed with Greville Fane when she described this marriage to me as magnificent; I asked her what was so great about the union of the daughter of a genius with a complete mediocrity. “Oh! he’s incredibly smart,” she replied, but she blushed at the fib. What she meant was that even though Sir Baldwin’s estates weren’t grand (he had a dull house in South Kensington and an even drearier “Hall” somewhere in Essex that was being rented out), the match was “better” than what a child of hers could have aspired to. Despite the social ambition reflected in her novels, she held a rather humble and unglamorous view of herself, so that among all her achievements, “my daughter Lady Luard” was the one she was most proud of. Lady Luard thought her mother was quite vulgar and was often upset and confused by the occasional boldness of her writing, but she had a complicated relationship with this indirect link to the literary world. As long as it was financially rewarding, her ladyship was fine with it and could overlook the inferiority of the profession by appreciating some of its perks. I had reason to know (my reason was simply that poor Mrs. Stormer told me) that she allowed the ink-stained fingers to occasionally slip a banknote into her hand. On the flip side, she lamented the “peculiar style” that Greville Fane had chosen and wondered how an author with such a refined daughter could have picked up such views about the upper class. “She ought to know better, with Leolin and me,” Lady Luard had been known to say; but it seemed that some of Greville Fane’s beliefs were impossible to change. She didn’t move in Lady Luard’s social circle, and the best wasn’t good enough for her—she felt the need to make it even better.
I could see that this necessity grew upon her during the years she spent abroad, when I had glimpses of her in the shifting sojourns that lay in the path of my annual ramble. She betook herself from Germany to Switzerland and from Switzerland to Italy; she favoured cheap places and set up her desk in the smaller capitals. I took a look at her whenever I could, and I always asked how Leolin was getting on. She gave me beautiful accounts of him, and whenever it was possible the boy was produced for my edification. I had entered from the first into the joke of his career—I pretended to regard him as a consecrated child. It had been a joke for Mrs. Stormer at first, but the boy himself had been shrewd enough to make the matter serious. If his mother accepted the principle that the intending novelist cannot begin too early to see life, Leolin was not interested in hanging back from the application of it. He was eager to qualify himself, and took to cigarettes at ten, on the highest literary grounds. His poor mother gazed at him with extravagant envy and, like Desdemona, wished heaven had made her such a man. She explained to me more than once that in her profession she had found her sex a dreadful drawback. She loved the story of Madame George Sand’s early rebellion against this hindrance, and believed that if she had worn trousers she could have written as well as that lady. Leolin had for the career at least the qualification of trousers, and as he grew older he recognised its importance by laying in an immense assortment. He grew up in gorgeous apparel, which was his way of interpreting his mother’s system. Whenever I met her I found her still under the impression that she was carrying this system out and that Leolin’s training was bearing fruit. She was giving him experience, she was giving him impressions, she was putting a gagnepain into his hand. It was another name for spoiling him with the best conscience in the world. The queerest pictures come back to me of this period of the good lady’s life and of the extraordinarily virtuous, muddled, bewildering tenor of it. She had an idea that she was seeing foreign manners as well as her petticoats would allow; but, in reality she was not seeing anything, least of all fortunately how much she was laughed at. She drove her whimsical pen at Dresden and at Florence, and produced in all places and at all times the same romantic and ridiculous fictions. She carried about her box of properties and fished out promptly the familiar, tarnished old puppets. She believed in them when others couldn’t, and as they were like nothing that was to be seen under the sun it was impossible to prove by comparison that they were wrong. You can’t compare birds and fishes; you could only feel that, as Greville Fane’s characters had the fine plumage of the former species, human beings must be of the latter.
I could tell that this need developed in her during the years she spent abroad, when I caught glimpses of her during my annual travels. She moved from Germany to Switzerland and from Switzerland to Italy; she preferred budget-friendly places and set up her desk in the smaller capitals. I checked in on her whenever I could and always asked how Leolin was doing. She shared wonderful stories about him, and whenever possible, she brought him out for my entertainment. From the beginning, I joined in on the joke of his career—I pretended to see him as a child with a special purpose. It was initially a joke for Mrs. Stormer, but the boy was clever enough to take it seriously. If his mother accepted that aspiring novelists can't start too early in experiencing life, Leolin was not about to shy away from it. He was eager to prepare himself and started smoking cigarettes at ten, on what he believed were literary grounds. His poor mother looked at him with extreme envy and, like Desdemona, wished that heaven had made her such a man. She told me more than once that in her profession, being a woman was a huge disadvantage. She loved the story of Madame George Sand’s early rebellion against this limitation and believed that if she had worn pants, she could have written just as well as that woman. Leolin, at least in terms of his career, had the advantage of trousers, and as he got older, he recognized their importance by amassing quite a collection. He grew up in stylish clothes, which was his way of interpreting his mother’s approach. Whenever I saw her, I found her still under the impression that she was successfully implementing this approach and that Leolin’s upbringing was paying off. She was giving him experiences, shaping his impressions, and putting a gagnepain in his hand. It was just another way of spoiling him, but with the best intentions in the world. The strangest memories come back to me from this period of the good lady’s life and the unusually virtuous, confusing, and muddled nature of it. She thought she was experiencing foreign cultures as much as her skirts would allow; however, in reality, she wasn’t seeing anything—least of all how much people laughed at her. She wrote her quirky stories in Dresden and Florence and produced the same romantic and ridiculous tales everywhere she went. She carried her box of props around and quickly pulled out the familiar, worn-out puppets. She believed in them when no one else could, and since they were nothing like what could be seen in the real world, it was impossible to prove they were wrong by comparison. You can’t compare birds and fish; you could only feel that, just as Greville Fane’s characters had the beautiful feathers of birds, humans must be akin to fish.
It would have been droll if it had not been so exemplary to see her tracing the loves of the duchesses beside the innocent cribs of her children. The immoral and the maternal lived together in her diligent days on the most comfortable terms, and she stopped curling the mustaches of her Guardsmen to pat the heads of her babes. She was haunted by solemn spinsters who came to tea from continental pensions, and by unsophisticated Americans who told her she was just loved in their country. “I had rather be just paid there,” she usually replied; for this tribute of transatlantic opinion was the only thing that galled her. The Americans went away thinking her coarse; though as the author of so many beautiful love-stories she was disappointing to most of these pilgrims, who had not expected to find a shy, stout, ruddy lady in a cap like a crumbled pyramid. She wrote about the affections and the impossibility of controlling them, but she talked of the price of pension and the convenience of an English chemist. She devoted much thought and many thousands of francs to the education of her daughter, who spent three years at a very superior school at Dresden, receiving wonderful instruction in sciences, arts and tongues, and who, taking a different line from Leolin, was to be brought up wholly as a femme du monde. The girl was musical and philological; she made a specialty of languages and learned enough about them to be inspired with a great contempt for her mother’s artless accents. Greville Fane’s French and Italian were droll; the imitative faculty had been denied her, and she had an unequalled gift, especially pen in hand, of squeezing big mistakes into small opportunities. She knew it, but she didn’t care; correctness was the virtue in the world that, like her heroes and heroines, she valued least. Ethel, who had perceived in her pages some remarkable lapses, undertook at one time to revise her proofs; but I remember her telling me a year after the girl had left school that this function had been very briefly exercised. “She can’t read me,” said Mrs. Stormer; “I offend her taste. She tells me that at Dresden—at school—I was never allowed.” The good lady seemed surprised at this, having the best conscience in the world about her lucubrations. She had never meant to fly in the face of anything, and considered that she grovelled before the Rhadamanthus of the English literary tribunal, the celebrated and awful Young Person. I assured her, as a joke, that she was frightfully indecent (she hadn’t in fact that reality any more than any other) my purpose being solely to prevent her from guessing that her daughter had dropped her not because she was immoral but because she was vulgar. I used to figure her children closeted together and asking each other while they exchanged a gaze of dismay: “Why should she be so—and so fearfully so—when she has the advantage of our society? Shouldn’t we have taught her better?” Then I imagined their recognising with a blush and a shrug that she was unteachable, irreformable. Indeed she was, poor lady; but it is never fair to read by the light of taste things that were not written by it. Greville Fane had, in the topsy-turvy, a serene good faith that ought to have been safe from allusion, like a stutter or a faux pas.
It would have been amusing if it weren't so representative to see her considering the romances of the duchesses next to the innocent cribs of her kids. The immoral and the maternal coexisted comfortably in her busy life, and she paused her work curling the mustaches of her Guardsmen to pat her babies' heads. She was often visited by serious spinsters from overseas pensions and naive Americans who told her she was adored in their country. “I’d rather just be paid there,” she typically replied, as this flattery from across the ocean was the only thing that bothered her. The Americans left thinking she was brash; however, many of these visitors found her disappointing, having expected a shy, plump, rosy-cheeked woman in a cap that looked like a crumbled pyramid. She wrote about love and the impossibility of controlling it, yet she spoke about the cost of pensions and the convenience of a British chemist. She devoted a lot of thought and many thousands of francs to her daughter's education, who spent three years at a very prestigious school in Dresden, receiving excellent instruction in sciences, arts, and languages, and who, unlike Leolin, was to be raised entirely as a femme du monde. The girl was talented in music and languages; she specialized in linguistics and learned enough to feel a great disdain for her mother’s unrefined accent. Greville Fane’s French and Italian were amusing; she lacked the ability to mimic and had a unique talent, particularly when writing, for turning big mistakes into small opportunities. She was aware of it but didn’t care; correctness was the quality that, like her heroes and heroines, she valued the least. Ethel, noticing some notable errors in her work, once attempted to revise her drafts; but I remember her telling me a year after the girl left school that this effort was very brief. “She can’t read my work,” said Mrs. Stormer; “I disgust her. She tells me that at Dresden—at school—I was never allowed.” The good woman seemed surprised by this, feeling completely justified about her writing. She never intended to go against anything and thought she was crawling before the scornful judge of English literature, that famed and dreaded Young Person. I jokingly assured her that she was shockingly indecent (though she didn’t have that quality any more than any other), solely to keep her from realizing that her daughter had distanced herself not because she was immoral but because she was unsophisticated. I used to imagine her children huddled together, exchanging worried looks and asking, “Why is she like this—so terribly like this—when she has the advantage of our society? Shouldn’t we have taught her better?” Then I pictured them recognizing with a blush and a shrug that she was unteachable, irredeemable. Indeed, she was, poor lady; but it’s never fair to evaluate things by the standards of taste that weren’t meant to be applied. Greville Fane had, in her topsy-turvy world, a peaceful honesty that should have been safe from scrutiny, like a stutter or a faux pas.
She didn’t make her son ashamed of the profession to which he was destined, however; she only made him ashamed of the way she herself exercised it. But he bore his humiliation much better than his sister, for he was ready to take for granted that he should one day restore the balance. He was a canny and far-seeing youth, with appetites and aspirations, and he had not a scruple in his composition. His mother’s theory of the happy knack he could pick up deprived him of the wholesome discipline required to prevent young idlers from becoming cads. He had, abroad, a casual tutor and a snatch or two of a Swiss school, but no consecutive study, no prospect of a university or a degree. It may be imagined with what zeal, as the years went on, he entered into the pleasantry of there being no manual so important to him as the massive book of life. It was an expensive volume to peruse, but Mrs. Stormer was willing to lay out a sum in what she would have called her premiers frais. Ethel disapproved—she thought this education far too unconventional for an English gentleman. Her voice was for Eton and Oxford, or for any public school (she would have resigned herself) with the army to follow. But Leolin never was afraid of his sister, and they visibly disliked, though they sometimes agreed to assist, each other. They could combine to work the oracle—to keep their mother at her desk.
She didn’t make her son ashamed of the profession he was destined for; she only made him ashamed of how she pursued it. But he handled his embarrassment much better than his sister, as he was confident he could one day fix things. He was a clever and forward-thinking young man, filled with desires and goals, and he didn't have a guilty bone in his body. His mother’s idea that he could easily pick up skills prevented him from getting the solid discipline needed to keep young slackers from becoming losers. He had a casual tutor overseas and attended a Swiss school for a short while, but he didn’t have any consistent study, nor any prospects for university or a degree. One can imagine how enthusiastically he embraced the notion that there was no guide more important to him than the vast book of life. It was an expensive book to read, but Mrs. Stormer was ready to spend money on what she would have called her premiers frais. Ethel disapproved—she believed this kind of education was far too unconventional for an English gentleman. She was all for Eton and Oxford, or for any public school (she would have settled for that) with a military career afterward. But Leolin never feared his sister, and they clearly disliked each other, even though they sometimes agreed to help one another. They could team up to ensure their mother stayed at her desk.
When she came back to England, telling me she had got all the continent could give her, Leolin was a broad-shouldered, red-faced young man, with an immense wardrobe and an extraordinary assurance of manner. She was fondly obstinate about her having taken the right course with him, and proud of all that he knew and had seen. He was now quite ready to begin, and a little while later she told me he had begun. He had written something tremendously clever, and it was coming out in the Cheapside. I believe it came out; I had no time to look for it; I never heard anything about it. I took for granted that if this contribution had passed through his mother’s hands it had practically become a specimen of her own genius, and it was interesting to consider Mrs. Stormer’s future in the light of her having to write her son’s novels as well as her own. This was not the way she looked at it herself; she took the charming ground that he would help her to write hers. She used to tell me that he supplied passages of the greatest value to her own work—all sorts of technical things, about hunting and yachting and wine—that she couldn’t be expected to get very straight. It was all so much practice for him and so much alleviation for her. I was unable to identify these pages, for I had long since ceased to “keep up” with Greville Fane; but I was quite able to believe that the wine-question had been put, by Leolin’s good offices, on a better footing, for the dear lady used to mix her drinks (she was perpetually serving the most splendid suppers) in the queerest fashion. I could see that he was willing enough to accept a commission to look after that department. It occurred to me indeed, when Mrs. Stormer settled in England again, that by making a shrewd use of both her children she might be able to rejuvenate her style. Ethel had come back to gratify her young ambition, and if she couldn’t take her mother into society she would at least go into it herself. Silently, stiffly, almost grimly, this young lady held up her head, clenched her long teeth, squared her lean elbows and made her way up the staircases she had elected. The only communication she ever made to me, the only effusion of confidence with which she ever honoured me, was when she said: “I don’t want to know the people mamma knows; I mean to know others.” I took due note of the remark, for I was not one of the “others.” I couldn’t trace therefore the steps of her process; I could only admire it at a distance and congratulate her mother on the results. The results were that Ethel went to “big” parties and got people to take her. Some of them were people she had met abroad, and others were people whom the people she had met abroad had met. They ministered alike to Miss Ethel’s convenience, and I wondered how she extracted so many favours without the expenditure of a smile. Her smile was the dimmest thing in the world, diluted lemonade, without sugar, and she had arrived precociously at social wisdom, recognising that if she was neither pretty enough nor rich enough nor clever enough, she could at least in her muscular youth be rude enough. Therefore if she was able to tell her mother what really took place in the mansions of the great, give her notes to work from, the quill could be driven at home to better purpose and precisely at a moment when it would have to be more active than ever. But if she did tell, it would appear that poor Mrs. Stormer didn’t believe. As regards many points this was not a wonder; at any rate I heard nothing of Greville Fane’s having developed a new manner. She had only one manner from start to finish, as Leolin would have said.
When she returned to England, claiming she had gotten everything the continent had to offer, Leolin was a broad-shouldered, red-faced young man with a huge wardrobe and an extraordinary confidence. She was stubbornly proud of her decision to pursue him and pleased with all he knew and had experienced. He was now ready to start, and not long after, she told me he *had* started. He had written something incredibly clever that was set to be published in the *Cheapside*. I think it did get published; I didn’t have time to look for it, and I never heard anything about it. I assumed that if this piece had passed through his mother’s hands, it had practically become her own creation, and it was interesting to think about Mrs. Stormer’s future now requiring her to write her son’s novels as well as her own. This was not how she viewed it; she believed he would help her with hers. She often told me that he provided the most valuable sections for her work—all kinds of technical details about hunting, yachting, and wine—that she couldn’t quite get right. It was all practice for him and a relief for her. I couldn't identify these passages since I had long stopped “keeping up” with Greville Fane, but I could well believe that Leolin had improved the wine topic, as the dear lady had a strange way of mixing her drinks (she always hosted the most splendid dinners). I could see he was willing to take on that responsibility. It crossed my mind that when Mrs. Stormer settled back in England, she could cleverly use both her kids to freshen up her writing style. Ethel had returned to fulfill her youthful ambitions, and while she couldn’t bring her mother into social circles, she would at least take part herself. Quietly, stiffly, almost grimly, this young woman held her head high, clenched her long teeth, squared her thin elbows, and made her way up the staircases she had chosen. The only thing she ever shared with me, the one moment of confidence she granted me, was when she said, “I don’t want to know the people mom knows; I plan to know others.” I made a mental note of this comment, as I was not one of the “others.” Therefore, I couldn’t follow her progress; I could only admire it from a distance and congratulate her mother on the outcomes. The results were that Ethel attended “big” parties and got people to take her along. Some were people she had met abroad, and others were people her international acquaintances had met. They all helped Miss Ethel’s cause, and I wondered how she scored so many favors without offering a smile. Her smile was the faintest thing in the world, like bitter lemonade, and she had quickly gained social wisdom, realizing that if she wasn’t pretty, rich, or clever enough, she could at least be rude enough in her youthful vigor. So, if she could tell her mother what really happened in the homes of the elite and provide her with notes to work from, the quill could be put to better use back home, especially when it was needed most. But if she did tell, it seemed her poor mother didn’t believe her. In many respects, this wasn’t surprising; at least, I heard nothing about Greville Fane developing a new style. He maintained just one style from beginning to end, as Leolin would have said.
She was tired at last, but she mentioned to me that she couldn’t afford to pause. She continued to speak of Leolin’s work as the great hope of their future (she had saved no money) though the young man wore to my sense an aspect more and more professional if you like, but less and less literary. At the end of a couple of years there was something monstrous in the impudence with which he played his part in the comedy. When I wondered how she could play her part I had to perceive that her good faith was complete and that what kept it so was simply her extravagant fondness. She loved the young impostor with a simple, blind, benighted love, and of all the heroes of romance who had passed before her eyes he was by far the most brilliant.
She was finally exhausted, but she told me that she couldn’t afford to take a break. She kept talking about Leolin’s work as their great hope for the future (she had saved no money), even though the young man seemed to me more and more like a professional, and less and less like a creative. After a couple of years, there was something outrageous in the boldness with which he played his role in the drama. When I questioned how she could perform her role, I realized that her good intentions were genuine, and what maintained them was simply her intense affection. She loved the young fraud with a simple, blind, naive love, and of all the romantic heroes she had encountered, he was by far the most dazzling.
He was at any rate the most real—she could touch him, pay for him, suffer for him, worship him. He made her think of her princes and dukes, and when she wished to fix these figures in her mind’s eye she thought of her boy. She had often told me she was carried away by her own creations, and she was certainly carried away by Leolin. He vivified, by potentialities at least, the whole question of youth and passion. She held, not unjustly, that the sincere novelist should feel the whole flood of life; she acknowledged with regret that she had not had time to feel it herself, and it was a joy to her that the deficiency might be supplied by the sight of the way it was rushing through this magnificent young man. She exhorted him, I suppose, to let it rush; she wrung her own flaccid little sponge into the torrent. I knew not what passed between them in her hours of tuition, but I gathered that she mainly impressed on him that the great thing was to live, because that gave you material. He asked nothing better; he collected material, and the formula served as a universal pretext. You had only to look at him to see that, with his rings and breastpins, his cross-barred jackets, his early embonpoint, his eyes that looked like imitation jewels, his various indications of a dense, full-blown temperament, his idea of life was singularly vulgar; but he was not so far wrong as that his response to his mother’s expectations was not in a high degree practical. If she had imposed a profession on him from his tenderest years it was exactly a profession that he followed. The two were not quite the same, inasmuch as his was simply to live at her expense; but at least she couldn’t say that he hadn’t taken a line. If she insisted on believing in him he offered himself to the sacrifice. My impression is that her secret dream was that he should have a liaison with a countess, and he persuaded her without difficulty that he had one. I don’t know what countesses are capable of, but I have a clear notion of what Leolin was.
He was definitely the most real—she could touch him, pay for him, suffer for him, worship him. He reminded her of her princes and dukes, and when she wanted to visualize these figures, she thought of her boy. She often told me that she got caught up in her own creations, and she was certainly caught up in Leolin. He brought to life, at least in potential, the entire question of youth and passion. She believed, not without reason, that a sincere novelist should feel the full spectrum of life; she acknowledged with regret that she hadn’t had time to experience it herself, and it thrilled her that this gap might be filled by witnessing it rush through this magnificent young man. She encouraged him, I suppose, to let it flow; she squeezed her own limp little sponge into the torrent. I didn’t know what happened between them during her teaching hours, but I gathered that she mainly impressed upon him that the key was to live, because that gave you material. He wanted nothing more; he gathered material, and the formula served as a universal excuse. You only had to look at him to see that, with his rings and breastpins, his striped jackets, his early plumpness, his eyes that looked like imitation jewels, and his various signs of a thick, fully developed temperament, his idea of life was quite vulgar; yet he was not so far off that his response to his mother’s expectations wasn’t highly practical. If she had forced a profession on him from a young age, it was exactly the profession he pursued. The two weren't quite the same, since his was merely to live at her expense; but at least she couldn’t say he hadn’t picked a path. If she insisted on believing in him, he offered himself up as the sacrifice. My impression is that her secret dream was for him to have an affair with a countess, and he easily convinced her that he did. I don’t know what countesses are capable of, but I have a clear idea of what Leolin was.
He didn’t persuade his sister, who despised him—she wished to work her mother in her own way, and I asked myself why the girl’s judgment of him didn’t make me like her better. It was because it didn’t save her after all from a mute agreement with him to go halves. There were moments when I couldn’t help looking hard into his atrocious young eyes, challenging him to confess his fantastic fraud and give it up. Not a little tacit conversation passed between us in this way, but he had always the best of it. If I said: “Oh, come now, with me you needn’t keep it up; plead guilty, and I’ll let you off,” he wore the most ingenuous, the most candid expression, in the depths of which I could read: “Oh, yes, I know it exasperates you—that’s just why I do it.” He took the line of earnest inquiry, talked about Balzac and Flaubert, asked me if I thought Dickens did exaggerate and Thackeray ought to be called a pessimist. Once he came to see me, at his mother’s suggestion he declared, on purpose to ask me how far, in my opinion, in the English novel, one really might venture to “go.” He was not resigned to the usual pruderies—he suffered under them already. He struck out the brilliant idea that nobody knew how far we might go, for nobody had ever tried. Did I think he might safely try—would it injure his mother if he did? He would rather disgrace himself by his timidities than injure his mother, but certainly some one ought to try. Wouldn’t I try—couldn’t I be prevailed upon to look at it as a duty? Surely the ultimate point ought to be fixed—he was worried, haunted by the question. He patronised me unblushingly, made me feel like a foolish amateur, a helpless novice, inquired into my habits of work and conveyed to me that I was utterly vieux jeu and had not had the advantage of an early training. I had not been brought up from the germ, I knew nothing of life—didn’t go at it on his system. He had dipped into French feuilletons and picked up plenty of phrases, and he made a much better show in talk than his poor mother, who never had time to read anything and could only be vivid with her pen. If I didn’t kick him downstairs it was because he would have alighted on her at the bottom.
He didn’t convince his sister, who hated him—she wanted to manipulate their mother in her own way, and I found myself wondering why her opinion of him didn’t make me like her more. It was because it didn’t stop her from an unspoken agreement with him to split things down the middle. There were times when I couldn’t help staring into his awful young eyes, daring him to admit his outrageous deceit and quit it. We exchanged a lot of silent communication, but he always came out on top. If I said, “Oh, come on, you don’t have to keep this up with me; just admit it, and I’ll let you off,” he would put on the most innocent and sincere expression, where I could see he was thinking, “Oh, I know it bugs you—that’s exactly why I keep doing it.” He would take on a serious tone, discuss Balzac and Flaubert, and ask me if I thought Dickens did exaggerate and if Thackeray should be labeled a pessimist. Once, he came to visit me, claiming it was because his mother suggested it, just to ask my opinion on how far one could really “go” in English novels. He wasn’t willing to accept the usual taboos—he was already struggling with them. He came up with the brilliant idea that no one really knew how far we could push things because no one had ever tried. Did I think he could safely take the plunge—would it hurt his mother if he did? He’d rather embarrass himself with his fears than hurt her, but surely someone needed to take that risk. Wouldn’t I try—couldn’t I be convinced to see it as a responsibility? Surely there had to be a limit established—he was anxious and tormented by the question. He condescended to me openly, making me feel like a naive amateur, a total rookie, probing into how I worked and implying that I was completely vieux jeu and hadn’t received any early education. I hadn’t been raised from scratch, I knew nothing about life—I wasn’t approaching it with his method. He’d dabbled in French serials and picked up a lot of phrases, and he was much more impressive in conversation than his poor mother, who never had time to read anything and could only express herself vividly through her writing. If I didn’t throw him down the stairs, it was only because he would land on her at the bottom.
When she went to live at Primrose Hill I called upon her and found her weary and wasted. It had waned a good deal, the elation caused the year before by Ethel’s marriage; the foam on the cup had subsided and there was a bitterness in the draught.
When she moved to Primrose Hill, I visited her and found her tired and worn out. The excitement from Ethel's marriage the previous year had faded quite a bit; the joy had settled, and there was a bitterness in the experience.
She had had to take a cheaper house and she had to work still harder to pay even for that. Sir Baldwin was obliged to be close; his charges were fearful, and the dream of her living with her daughter (a vision she had never mentioned to me) must be renounced. “I would have helped with things, and I could have lived perfectly in one room,” she said; “I would have paid for everything, and—after all—I’m some one, ain’t I? But I don’t fit in, and Ethel tells me there are tiresome people she must receive. I can help them from here, no doubt, better than from there. She told me once, you know, what she thinks of my picture of life. ‘Mamma, your picture of life is preposterous!’ No doubt it is, but she’s vexed with me for letting my prices go down; and I had to write three novels to pay for all her marriage cost me. I did it very well—I mean the outfit and the wedding; but that’s why I’m here. At any rate she doesn’t want a dingy old woman in her house. I should give it an atmosphere of literary glory, but literary glory is only the eminence of nobodies. Besides, she doubts my glory—she knows I’m glorious only at Peckham and Hackney. She doesn’t want her friends to ask if I’ve never known nice people. She can’t tell them I’ve never been in society. She tried to teach me better once, but I couldn’t learn. It would seem too as if Peckham and Hackney had had enough of me; for (don’t tell any one!) I’ve had to take less for my last than I ever took for anything.” I asked her how little this had been, not from curiosity, but in order to upbraid her, more disinterestedly than Lady Luard had done, for such concessions. She answered “I’m ashamed to tell you,” and then she began to cry.
She had to settle for a cheaper house and work even harder to afford that. Sir Baldwin had to be frugal; his fees were outrageous, and the dream of living with her daughter (a vision she never shared with me) had to be given up. “I would have helped with things, and I could have lived perfectly in one room,” she said. “I would have paid for everything, and—after all—I’m someone, right? But I don’t fit in, and Ethel tells me there are annoying people she must entertain. I can help them from here, no doubt, better than from there. She told me once, you know, what she thinks of my view on life. ‘Mom, your view of life is ridiculous!’ No doubt it is, but she’s frustrated with me for letting my prices drop; and I had to write three novels just to cover all her wedding expenses. I did it very well—I mean the outfit and the wedding—but that’s why I’m here. At any rate, she doesn’t want a dull old woman in her house. I should give it an atmosphere of literary prestige, but literary prestige is just the reputation of nobodies. Besides, she doubts my prestige—she knows I’m only considered glorious in Peckham and Hackney. She doesn’t want her friends to wonder if I’ve never known nice people. She can’t tell them I’ve never been in society. She tried to teach me better once, but I couldn’t learn. It would also seem like Peckham and Hackney have had enough of me; for (don’t tell anyone!) I’ve had to take less for my last book than I ever took for anything.” I asked her how little that amount was, not out of curiosity, but to scold her, more unselfishly than Lady Luard had done, for such compromises. She replied, “I’m ashamed to tell you,” and then she started to cry.
I had never seen her break down, and I was proportionately moved; she sobbed, like a frightened child, over the extinction of her vogue and the exhaustion of her vein. Her little workroom seemed indeed a barren place to grow flowers, and I wondered, in the after years (for she continued to produce and publish) by what desperate and heroic process she dragged them out of the soil. I remember asking her on that occasion what had become of Leolin, and how much longer she intended to allow him to amuse himself at her cost. She rejoined with spirit, wiping her eyes, that he was down at Brighton hard at work—he was in the midst of a novel—and that he felt life so, in all its misery and mystery, that it was cruel to speak of such experiences as a pleasure. “He goes beneath the surface,” she said, “and he forces himself to look at things from which he would rather turn away. Do you call that amusing yourself? You should see his face sometimes! And he does it for me as much as for himself. He tells me everything—he comes home to me with his trouvailles. We are artists together, and to the artist all things are pure. I’ve often heard you say so yourself.” The novel that Leolin was engaged in at Brighton was never published, but a friend of mine and of Mrs. Stormer’s who was staying there happened to mention to me later that he had seen the young apprentice to fiction driving, in a dogcart, a young lady with a very pink face. When I suggested that she was perhaps a woman of title with whom he was conscientiously flirting my informant replied: “She is indeed, but do you know what her title is?” He pronounced it—it was familiar and descriptive—but I won’t reproduce it here. I don’t know whether Leolin mentioned it to his mother: she would have needed all the purity of the artist to forgive him. I hated so to come across him that in the very last years I went rarely to see her, though I knew that she had come pretty well to the end of her rope. I didn’t want her to tell me that she had fairly to give her books away—I didn’t want to see her cry. She kept it up amazingly, and every few months, at my club, I saw three new volumes, in green, in crimson, in blue, on the book-table that groaned with light literature. Once I met her at the Academy soirée, where you meet people you thought were dead, and she vouchsafed the information, as if she owed it to me in candour, that Leolin had been obliged to recognise insuperable difficulties in the question of form, he was so fastidious; so that she had now arrived at a definite understanding with him (it was such a comfort) that she would do the form if he would bring home the substance. That was now his position—he foraged for her in the great world at a salary. “He’s my ‘devil,’ don’t you see? as if I were a great lawyer: he gets up the case and I argue it.” She mentioned further that in addition to his salary he was paid by the piece: he got so much for a striking character, so much for a pretty name, so much for a plot, so much for an incident, and had so much promised him if he would invent a new crime.
I had never seen her break down, and it really affected me; she sobbed like a scared child over the end of her popularity and the exhaustion of her creativity. Her little workspace felt like a barren place to grow anything, and I wondered, in the years that followed (since she continued to create and publish), what desperate and heroic effort she used to drag her ideas out of the ground. I remember asking her then what had happened to Leolin and how much longer she was going to let him have fun at her expense. She responded with energy, wiping her eyes, that he was in Brighton working hard—he was in the middle of writing a novel—and that he felt life so deeply, with all its misery and mystery, that it was cruel to see such experiences as merely enjoyable. “He goes beneath the surface,” she said, “and he forces himself to confront things he’d rather avoid. Do you call that having fun? You should see his face sometimes! And he does it for me as much as for himself. He tells me everything—he comes back to me with his discoveries. We’re artists together, and to an artist, everything is pure. I’ve often heard you say that yourself.” The novel Leolin was working on in Brighton was never published, but a friend of mine, who also knew Mrs. Stormer, later mentioned that he had seen the young fiction apprentice driving a young lady with a very pink face in a dogcart. When I suggested she might be a woman of status that he was sincerely flirting with, my informant replied, “She is indeed, but do you know what her title is?” He pronounced it—it was familiar and descriptive—but I won’t repeat it here. I don’t know if Leolin told his mother; she would have needed all the purity of an artist to forgive him. I dreaded running into him so much that in the last few years I rarely visited her, even though I knew she was pretty much at her breaking point. I didn’t want her to tell me that she had to start giving her books away—I didn’t want to see her cry. She held it together remarkably well, and every few months, at my club, I’d see three new volumes, in green, in crimson, in blue, on the book table that sagged under the weight of light literature. Once I ran into her at the Academy soirée, where you meet people you thought were gone, and she candidly shared with me, as if it were a duty, that Leolin had to face some insurmountable challenges regarding form since he was so particular; so she had come to a definite arrangement with him (which was a relief) that she would handle the form if he would bring home the content. That was now his role—he scavenged for her in the bigger world for a salary. “He’s my ‘devil,’ don’t you see? Like I’m a big lawyer: he prepares the case, and I argue it.” She also mentioned that in addition to his salary, he was paid by the piece: he earned a certain amount for a striking character, a certain amount for a pretty name, a certain amount for a plot, a certain amount for an incident, and had a promise of more if he came up with a new crime.
“He has invented one,” I said, “and he’s paid every day of his life.”
“He has invented one,” I said, “and he gets paid every day of his life.”
“What is it?” she asked, looking hard at the picture of the year; “Baby’s Tub,” near which we happened to be standing.
“What is it?” she asked, staring intently at the picture of the year; “Baby’s Tub,” next to which we happened to be standing.
I hesitated a moment. “I myself will write a little story about it, and then you’ll see.”
I paused for a moment. “I’ll write a short story about it, and then you’ll see.”
But she never saw; she had never seen anything, and she passed away with her fine blindness unimpaired. Her son published every scrap of scribbled paper that could be extracted from her table-drawers, and his sister quarrelled with him mortally about the proceeds, which showed that she only wanted a pretext, for they cannot have been great. I don’t know what Leolin lives upon, unless it be on a queer lady many years older than himself, whom he lately married. The last time I met him he said to me with his infuriating smile: “Don’t you think we can go a little further still—just a little?” He really goes too far.
But she never noticed; she had never noticed anything, and she passed away with her unique blindness intact. Her son published every scrap of scribbled paper he could find in her desk drawers, and his sister had a huge fight with him about the profits, which showed she just needed an excuse, since they couldn’t have been much. I don’t know what Leolin survives on, unless it’s a quirky lady many years older than him, whom he recently married. The last time I saw him, he said to me with his annoyingly charming smile: “Don’t you think we can go a little further still—just a little?” He really does go too far.
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