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THE ISLAND PHARISEES



By John Galsworthy





                           “But this is a worshipful society”
                                           KING JOHN
“But this is a respectful community”  
KING JOHN



















PREFACE

Each man born into the world is born like Shelton in this book—to go a journey, and for the most part he is born on the high road. At first he sits there in the dust, with his little chubby hands reaching at nothing, and his little solemn eyes staring into space. As soon as he can toddle, he moves, by the queer instinct we call the love of life, straight along this road, looking neither to the right nor left, so pleased is he to walk. And he is charmed with everything—with the nice flat road, all broad and white, with his own feet, and with the prospect he can see on either hand. The sun shines, and he finds the road a little hot and dusty; the rain falls, and he splashes through the muddy puddles. It makes no matter—all is pleasant; his fathers went this way before him; they made this road for him to tread, and, when they bred him, passed into his fibre the love of doing things as they themselves had done them. So he walks on and on, resting comfortably at nights under the roofs that have been raised to shelter him, by those who went before.

Every person born into the world starts their journey like Shelton in this book—on a path that’s mostly straightforward. At first, they sit in the dirt, with their little chubby hands reaching for nothing and their serious little eyes gazing into the distance. Once they can walk, they instinctively follow the road ahead, too excited to look right or left, just happy to be moving. They’re fascinated by everything—the smooth, wide road, their own feet, and the views on either side. The sun shines, making the road a bit hot and dusty; when it rains, they jump through muddy puddles. It doesn't matter—all is enjoyable; their ancestors walked this way before them; they created this path for them to follow, and when they brought them to life, they instilled the desire to do things just as they did. So, they keep walking, resting peacefully at night under roofs built to protect them by those who came before.

Suddenly one day, without intending to, he notices a path or opening in the hedge, leading to right or left, and he stands, looking at the undiscovered. After that he stops at all the openings in the hedge; one day, with a beating heart, he tries one.

Suddenly, one day, without meaning to, he notices a path or gap in the hedge, leading to the right or left, and he stands there, staring at the unknown. After that, he pauses at all the gaps in the hedge; one day, with his heart racing, he decides to try one.

And this is where the fun begins.

And this is where the fun starts.

Out of ten of him that try the narrow path, nine of him come back to the broad road, and, when they pass the next gap in the hedge, they say: “No, no, my friend, I found you pleasant for a while, but after that-ah! after that! The way my fathers went is good enough for me, and it is obviously the proper one; for nine of me came back, and that poor silly tenth—I really pity him!”

Out of ten people who try the narrow path, nine of them return to the broad road, and when they pass the next gap in the hedge, they say: “No, no, my friend, I enjoyed you for a bit, but after that—ah! after that! The way my parents took is good enough for me, and it’s clearly the right one; because nine of us came back, and that poor foolish tenth—I really feel sorry for him!”

And when he comes to the next inn, and snuggles in his well-warmed, bed, he thinks of the wild waste of heather where he might have had to spend the night alone beneath the stars; nor does it, I think, occur to him that the broad road he treads all day was once a trackless heath itself.

And when he arrives at the next inn and settles into his warm bed, he thinks about the vast stretch of heather where he could have spent the night alone under the stars; nor do I think it crosses his mind that the wide road he walks on all day was once a barren heath itself.

But the poor silly tenth is faring on. It is a windy night that he is travelling through a windy night, with all things new around, and nothing to help him but his courage. Nine times out of ten that courage fails, and he goes down into the bog. He has seen the undiscovered, and—like Ferrand in this book—the undiscovered has engulfed him; his spirit, tougher than the spirit of the nine that burned back to sleep in inns, was yet not tough enough. The tenth time he wins across, and on the traces he has left others follow slowly, cautiously—a new road is opened to mankind! A true saying goes: Whatever is, is right! And if all men from the world's beginning had said that, the world would never have begun—at all. Not even the protoplasmic jelly could have commenced its journey; there would have been no motive force to make it start.

But the poor, foolish tenth is carrying on. It’s a windy night as he travels through this windy night, with everything around him feeling new, and the only thing he has to rely on is his courage. Nine times out of ten, that courage fails, and he sinks into the bog. He has seen what’s unknown, and—like Ferrand in this book—the unknown has swallowed him up; his spirit, tougher than the spirits of the nine who retreated to sleep in inns, still wasn’t tough enough. The tenth time he makes it across, and following the path he’s created, others come behind him slowly and cautiously—a new road has opened for humanity! There’s an old saying: Whatever is, is right! And if all men since the beginning of the world had believed that, the world wouldn't have begun at all. Not even the protoplasmic jelly could have started its journey; there would have been no driving force to make it begin.

And so, that other saying had to be devised before the world could set up business: Whatever is, is wrong! But since the Cosmic Spirit found that matters moved too fast if those that felt “All things that are, are wrong” equalled in number those that felt “All things that are, are right,” It solemnly devised polygamy (all, be it said, in a spiritual way of speaking); and to each male spirit crowing “All things that are, are wrong” It decreed nine female spirits clucking “All things that are, are right.” The Cosmic Spirit, who was very much an artist, knew its work, and had previously devised a quality called courage, and divided it in three, naming the parts spiritual, moral, physical. To all the male-bird spirits, but to no female (spiritually, not corporeally speaking), It gave courage that was spiritual; to nearly all, both male and female, It gave courage that was physical; to very many hen-bird spirits It gave moral courage too. But, because It knew that if all the male-bird spirits were complete, the proportion of male to female—one to ten—would be too great, and cause upheavals, It so arranged that only one in ten male-bird spirits should have all three kinds of courage; so that the other nine, having spiritual courage, but lacking either in moral or in physical, should fail in their extensions of the poultry-run. And having started them upon these lines, it left them to get along as best they might.

And so, another saying had to be created before the world could start working: Whatever exists, is wrong! But since the Cosmic Spirit realized that things were progressing too quickly if those who believed “Everything that exists is wrong” were equal in number to those who thought “Everything that exists is right,” It thoughtfully created polygamy (all, in a spiritual sense); for every male spirit asserting “Everything that exists is wrong,” It assigned nine female spirits affirming “Everything that exists is right.” The Cosmic Spirit, who was quite the artist, understood Its creation, and had already developed a quality called courage, dividing it into three parts, which It named spiritual, moral, and physical. To all the male spirits, but to no female ones (in a spiritual, not physical sense), It granted spiritual courage; to nearly all, both male and female, It provided physical courage; to many female spirits, It also bestowed moral courage. However, knowing that if all the male spirits were complete, the ratio of male to female—one to ten—would be too great and cause chaos, It arranged for only one in ten male spirits to have all three types of courage; so that the other nine, possessing spiritual courage but lacking in either moral or physical, would struggle in their expansion of the flock. And having set them on this path, It left them to figure things out as best they could.

Thus, in the subdivision of the poultry-run that we call England, the proportion of the others to the complete male-bird spirit, who, of course, is not infrequently a woman, is ninety-nine to one; and with every Island Pharisee, when he or she starts out in life, the interesting question ought to be, “Am I that one?” Ninety very soon find out that they are not, and, having found it out, lest others should discover, they say they are. Nine of the other ten, blinded by their spiritual courage, are harder to convince; but one by one they sink, still proclaiming their virility. The hundredth Pharisee alone sits out the play.

So, in the section of the poultry yard that we call England, the ratio of everyone else to the complete male bird spirit, who, by the way, is often a woman, is ninety-nine to one. And for every Island Pharisee, when they start out in life, the important question should be, “Am I that one?” Ninety of them quickly realize they’re not, and once they find out, to keep others from discovering it, they claim they are. Nine of the remaining ten, blinded by their spiritual bravery, are harder to convince; but one by one they fall, still insisting on their masculinity. The one hundredth Pharisee alone stays to watch the show.

Now, the journey of this young man Shelton, who is surely not the hundredth Pharisee, is but a ragged effort to present the working of the truth “All things that are, are wrong,” upon the truth “All things that are, are right.”

Now, the journey of this young man Shelton, who is definitely not your typical Pharisee, is just a messy attempt to showcase the idea that "Everything that exists is wrong" contrasted with the idea that "Everything that exists is right."

The Institutions of this country, like the Institutions of all other countries, are but half-truths; they are the working daily clothing of the nation; no more the body's permanent dress than is a baby's frock. Slowly but surely they wear out, or are outgrown; and in their fashion they are always thirty years at least behind the fashions of those spirits who are concerned with what shall take their place. The conditions that dictate our education, the distribution of our property, our marriage laws, amusements, worship, prisons, and all other things, change imperceptibly from hour to hour; the moulds containing them, being inelastic, do not change, but hold on to the point of bursting, and then are hastily, often clumsily, enlarged. The ninety desiring peace and comfort for their spirit, the ninety of the well-warmed beds, will have it that the fashions need not change, that morality is fixed, that all is ordered and immutable, that every one will always marry, play, and worship in the way that they themselves are marrying, playing, worshipping. They have no speculation, and they hate with a deep hatred those who speculate with thought. This is the function they were made for. They are the dough, and they dislike that yeasty stuff of life which comes and works about in them. The Yeasty Stuff—the other ten—chafed by all things that are, desirous ever of new forms and moulds, hate in their turn the comfortable ninety. Each party has invented for the other the hardest names that it can think of: Philistines, Bourgeois, Mrs. Grundy, Rebels, Anarchists, and Ne'er-do-weels. So we go on! And so, as each of us is born to go his journey, he finds himself in time ranged on one side or on the other, and joins the choruses of name-slingers.

The institutions in this country, like those in every other country, are only half-truths; they’re the daily wear of the nation—not any more permanent than a baby's dress. They gradually wear out or become outdated; in their style, they're always at least thirty years behind the trends of those who are thinking about what's supposed to replace them. The circumstances that shape our education, how we distribute wealth, our marriage laws, entertainment, worship, prisons, and everything else, change subtly from moment to moment; the structures that hold them are rigid and don’t change but cling to the brink of breaking, only to be quickly and often awkwardly expanded. The ninety who seek peace and comfort for their souls, the ninety who enjoy their cozy beds, insist that trends don’t need to change, that morality is fixed, that everything is orderly and unchangeable, and that everyone will always marry, play, and worship the way they themselves are currently doing. They have no curiosity, and they strongly dislike those who think critically. This is their purpose. They are the dough and they resent the lively forces of life that come and stir things up around them. The lively forces—the other ten—are frustrated by everything that exists, constantly craving new forms and structures, and they, in turn, dislike the comfortable ninety. Each group has come up with the harshest labels they can think of for the other: Philistines, Bourgeois, Mrs. Grundy, Rebels, Anarchists, and Ne’er-do-wells. And so we continue! As each of us is born to follow our own path, we eventually find ourselves aligned with one group or the other, joining in the chanting of names.

But now and then—ah! very seldom—we find ourselves so near that thing which has no breadth, the middle line, that we can watch them both, and positively smile to see the fun.

But every now and then—oh! very rarely—we find ourselves so close to that thing which has no width, the middle line, that we can see both sides and actually smile at the amusement of it.

When this book was published first, many of its critics found that Shelton was the only Pharisee, and a most unsatisfactory young man—and so, no doubt, he is. Belonging to the comfortable ninety, they felt, in fact, the need of slinging names at one who obviously was of the ten. Others of its critics, belonging to the ten, wielded their epithets upon Antonia, and the serried ranks behind her, and called them Pharisees; as dull as ditch-water—and so, I fear, they are.

When this book was first published, many critics thought Shelton was the only Pharisee and a rather disappointing young man—and I suppose that's true. They felt the need to throw insults at someone who clearly belonged to the ten while being part of the comfortable ninety themselves. Other critics from the ten directed their insults at Antonia and the group with her, labeling them Pharisees; as boring as ditch water—and sadly, that's probably true as well.

One of the greatest charms of authorship is the privilege it gives the author of studying the secret springs of many unseen persons, of analysing human nature through the criticism that his work evokes—criticism welling out of the instinctive likings or aversions, out of the very fibre of the human being who delivers it; criticism that often seems to leap out against the critic's will, startled like a fawn from some deep bed, of sympathy or of antipathy. And so, all authors love to be abused—as any man can see.

One of the greatest pleasures of being an author is the opportunity to explore the hidden motivations of many unseen individuals, analyzing human nature through the feedback that their work generates—feedback that comes from instinctual likes or dislikes, from the very essence of the person giving it; feedback that often seems to spring forth against the critic's will, startled like a fawn from some deep hiding place, whether in sympathy or in dislike. So, it's clear that all authors enjoy being criticized—as anyone can tell.

In the little matter of the title of this book, we are all Pharisees, whether of the ninety or the ten, and we certainly do live upon an Island. JOHN GALSWORTHY.

In the small matter of the title of this book, we're all Pharisees, whether we're part of the ninety or the ten, and we definitely live on an island. JOHN GALSWORTHY.

January 1, 1908

January 1, 1908





PART I

THE TOWN





CHAPTER I

SOCIETY

A quiet, well-dressed man named Shelton, with a brown face and a short, fair beard, stood by the bookstall at Dover Station. He was about to journey up to London, and had placed his bag in the corner of a third-class carriage.

A quiet, well-dressed man named Shelton, with a brown face and a short, fair beard, stood by the bookstall at Dover Station. He was about to travel up to London, and had put his bag in the corner of a third-class carriage.

After his long travel, the flat-vowelled voice of the bookstall clerk offering the latest novel sounded pleasant—pleasant the independent answers of a bearded guard, and the stodgy farewell sayings of a man and wife. The limber porters trundling their barrows, the greyness of the station and the good stolid humour clinging to the people, air, and voices, all brought to him the sense of home. Meanwhile he wavered between purchasing a book called Market Hayborough, which he had read and would certainly enjoy a second time, and Carlyle's French Revolution, which he had not read and was doubtful of enjoying; he felt that he ought to buy the latter, but he did not relish giving up the former. While he hesitated thus, his carriage was beginning to fill up; so, quickly buying both, he took up a position from which he could defend his rights. “Nothing,” he thought, “shows people up like travelling.”

After his long journey, the flat-vowelled voice of the bookstall clerk offering the latest novel sounded nice—nice were the independent replies of a bearded guard, and the stiff farewell words of a man and woman. The agile porters pushing their carts, the grayness of the station, and the solid good humor clinging to the people, air, and voices all gave him a sense of home. Meanwhile, he wavered between buying a book called Market Hayborough, which he had read and would definitely enjoy again, and Carlyle's French Revolution, which he hadn't read and doubted he would enjoy; he felt he should buy the latter, but he wasn't keen on giving up the former. While he hesitated, his carriage was starting to fill up; so, quickly buying both, he took a position from which he could defend his rights. “Nothing,” he thought, “exposes people like traveling.”

The carriage was almost full, and, putting his bag, up in the rack, he took his seat. At the moment of starting yet another passenger, a girl with a pale face, scrambled in.

The carriage was nearly full, and after placing his bag in the rack, he took his seat. Just as they were about to start, another passenger, a girl with a pale face, climbed in.

“I was a fool to go third,” thought Shelton, taking in his neighbours from behind his journal.

“I was an idiot to go third,” thought Shelton, observing his neighbors from behind his journal.

They were seven. A grizzled rustic sat in the far corner; his empty pipe, bowl downwards, jutted like a handle from his face, all bleared with the smear of nothingness that grows on those who pass their lives in the current of hard facts. Next to him, a ruddy, heavy-shouldered man was discussing with a grey-haired, hatchet-visaged person the condition of their gardens; and Shelton watched their eyes till it occurred to him how curious a look was in them—a watchful friendliness, an allied distrust—and that their voices, cheerful, even jovial, seemed to be cautious all the time. His glance strayed off, and almost rebounded from the semi-Roman, slightly cross, and wholly self-complacent face of a stout lady in a black-and-white costume, who was reading the Strand Magazine, while her other, sleek, plump hand, freed from its black glove, and ornamented with a thick watch-bracelet, rested on her lap. A younger, bright-cheeked, and self-conscious female was sitting next her, looking at the pale girl who had just got in.

They were seven. A weathered farmer sat in the far corner; his empty pipe, bowl down, stuck out like a handle from his face, worn from the emptiness that affects those who spend their lives caught up in harsh realities. Next to him, a red-faced, broad-shouldered man was chatting with a grey-haired guy with a sharp face about the state of their gardens; Shelton watched their eyes until he noticed a strange look in them—a watchful friendliness mixed with a shared distrust—and their voices, cheerful and even jovial, felt cautious all the time. His gaze drifted, nearly bouncing off the semi-Roman, slightly annoyed, and completely self-satisfied face of a stout lady in a black-and-white outfit, who was reading the Strand Magazine, while her other, sleek, plump hand, freed from its black glove and adorned with a thick watch-bracelet, rested in her lap. A younger, rosy-cheeked, and self-aware woman was sitting next to her, glancing at the pale girl who had just walked in.

“There's something about that girl,” thought Shelton, “they don't like.” Her brown eyes certainly looked frightened, her clothes were of a foreign cut. Suddenly he met the glance of another pair of eyes; these eyes, prominent and blue, stared with a sort of subtle roguery from above a thin, lopsided nose, and were at once averted. They gave Shelton the impression that he was being judged, and mocked, enticed, initiated. His own gaze did not fall; this sanguine face, with its two-day growth of reddish beard, long nose, full lips, and irony, puzzled him. “A cynical face!” he thought, and then, “but sensitive!” and then, “too cynical,” again.

“There's something about that girl,” thought Shelton, “that they don't like.” Her brown eyes definitely looked scared, and her clothes had a foreign style. Suddenly, he caught the eye of another person; these prominent blue eyes sparkled with a kind of sly mischief above a thin, crooked nose, and then quickly looked away. They made Shelton feel like he was being judged, mocked, lured in, and initiated. He didn’t look away; this lively face, with its slight stubble of reddish beard, long nose, full lips, and hint of irony, confused him. “A cynical face!” he thought, then, “but sensitive!” and then, “too cynical,” again.

The young man who owned it sat with his legs parted at the knees, his dusty trouser-ends and boots slanting back beneath the seat, his yellow finger-tips crisped as if rolling cigarettes. A strange air of detachment was about that youthful, shabby figure, and not a scrap of luggage filled the rack above his head.

The young man who owned it sat with his legs spread at the knees, his dusty pant legs and boots angled back beneath the seat, his yellow fingertips looking rough as if he had been rolling cigarettes. There was a strange sense of detachment around that youthful, shabby figure, and there wasn't a single piece of luggage in the rack above his head.

The frightened girl was sitting next this pagan personality; it was possibly the lack of fashion in his looks that caused, her to select him for her confidence.

The scared girl was sitting next to this pagan guy; it was probably his outdated style that made her choose him to confide in.

“Monsieur,” she asked, “do you speak French?”

“Sir,” she asked, “do you speak French?”

“Perfectly.”

"Absolutely."

“Then can you tell me where they take the tickets?

“Then can you tell me where they collect the tickets?”

“The young man shook his head.

The young man shook his head.

“No,” said he, “I am a foreigner.”

“No,” he said, “I’m a foreigner.”

The girl sighed.

The girl sighed.

“But what is the matter, ma'moiselle?”

"But what's wrong, ma'am?"

The girl did not reply, twisting her hands on an old bag in her lap. Silence had stolen on the carriage—a silence such as steals on animals at the first approach of danger; all eyes were turned towards the figures of the foreigners.

The girl didn’t respond, fiddling with an old bag in her lap. A hush had fallen over the carriage—like the quiet that comes over animals at the first sign of danger; everyone’s gaze was fixed on the foreigners.

“Yes,” broke out the red-faced man, “he was a bit squiffy that evening—old Tom.”

“Yes,” shouted the red-faced man, “he was a little tipsy that evening—old Tom.”

“Ah!” replied his neighbour, “he would be.”

“Ah!” replied his neighbor, “he definitely would be.”

Something seemed to have destroyed their look of mutual distrust. The plump, sleek hand of the lady with the Roman nose curved convulsively; and this movement corresponded to the feeling agitating Shelton's heart. It was almost as if hand and heart feared to be asked for something.

Something seemed to have wiped away their mutual distrust. The soft, polished hand of the woman with the Roman nose curled slightly, and this motion matched the turmoil in Shelton's heart. It was almost as if both hand and heart were afraid of being asked for something.

“Monsieur,” said the girl, with a tremble in her voice, “I am very unhappy; can you tell me what to do? I had no money for a ticket.”

“Monsieur,” said the girl, her voice shaking, “I’m really unhappy; can you help me? I didn’t have any money for a ticket.”

The foreign youth's face flickered.

The foreign teen's face flickered.

“Yes?” he said; “that might happen to anyone, of course.”

“Yes?” he said; “that could happen to anyone, of course.”

“What will they do to me?” sighed the girl.

“What are they going to do to me?” sighed the girl.

“Don't lose courage, ma'moiselle.” The young man slid his eyes from left to right, and rested them on Shelton. “Although I don't as yet see your way out.”

“Don't lose your courage, miss.” The young man glanced from left to right and focused on Shelton. “Even though I still don’t see a way out for you.”

“Oh, monsieur!” sighed the girl, and, though it was clear that none but Shelton understood what they were saying, there was a chilly feeling in the carriage.

“Oh, sir!” sighed the girl, and, although it was clear that only Shelton understood what they were saying, there was an uneasy feeling in the carriage.

“I wish I could assist you,” said the foreign youth; “unfortunately——” he shrugged his shoulders, and again his eyes returned to Shelton.

“I wish I could help you,” said the foreign young man; “unfortunately—” he shrugged his shoulders, and once again his eyes went back to Shelton.

The latter thrust his hand into his pocket.

The latter shoved his hand into his pocket.

“Can I be of any use?” he asked in English.

“Can I help with anything?” he asked in English.

“Certainly, sir; you could render this young lady the greatest possible service by lending her the money for a ticket.”

“Of course, sir; you could do this young lady a huge favor by lending her the money for a ticket.”

Shelton produced a sovereign, which the young man took. Passing it to the girl, he said:

Shelton handed over a gold coin, which the young man accepted. He passed it to the girl and said:

“A thousand thanks—'voila une belle action'.”

“A thousand thanks—'here's a good deed'.”

The misgivings which attend on casual charity crowded up in Shelton's mind; he was ashamed of having them and of not having them, and he stole covert looks at this young foreigner, who was now talking to the girl in a language that he did not understand. Though vagabond in essence, the fellow's face showed subtle spirit, a fortitude and irony not found upon the face of normal man, and in turning from it to the other passengers Shelton was conscious of revolt, contempt, and questioning, that he could not define. Leaning back with half-closed eyes, he tried to diagnose this new sensation. He found it disconcerting that the faces and behaviour of his neighbours lacked anything he could grasp and secretly abuse. They continued to converse with admirable and slightly conscious phlegm, yet he knew, as well as if each one had whispered to him privately, that this shady incident had shaken them. Something unsettling to their notions of propriety-something dangerous and destructive of complacency—had occurred, and this was unforgivable. Each had a different way, humorous or philosophic, contemptuous, sour, or sly, of showing this resentment. But by a flash of insight Shelton saw that at the bottom of their minds and of his own the feeling was the same. Because he shared in their resentment he was enraged with them and with himself. He looked at the plump, sleek hand of the woman with the Roman nose. The insulation and complacency of its pale skin, the passive righteousness about its curve, the prim separation from the others of the fat little finger, had acquired a wholly unaccountable importance. It embodied the verdict of his fellow-passengers, the verdict of Society; for he knew that, whether or no repugnant to the well-bred mind, each assemblage of eight persons, even in a third-class carriage, contains the kernel of Society.

The doubts that come with casual charity clouded Shelton's mind; he felt ashamed for having them and for not having them, and he sneaked glances at this young foreigner, who was now chatting with the girl in a language he didn't understand. Despite his wandering nature, the guy’s face revealed a subtle spirit, a resilience and irony that you don't see on the faces of ordinary people. When Shelton looked away from him to the other passengers, he sensed a feeling of revolt, contempt, and confusion that he couldn't quite put into words. Leaning back with his eyes half-closed, he tried to figure out this new feeling. He found it unsettling that the faces and behaviors of those around him lacked anything he could grasp and criticize. They continued to talk with admirable and slightly aware indifference, yet he knew, as if each of them had privately whispered to him, that this shady incident had shaken them. Something disturbing to their sense of propriety—something dangerous and threatening to their comfort—had happened, and that was unacceptable. Each passenger displayed their resentment in different ways, be it humorously, philosophically, contemptuously, sourly, or slyly. But in a moment of clarity, Shelton realized that at the core of their minds and his, the feeling was the same. Because he shared in their resentment, he was furious with them and with himself. He looked at the plump, well-groomed hand of the woman with the Roman nose. The insulation and smugness of its pale skin, the passive righteousness in its curve, the distinct separation of the tiny finger—all had taken on a completely inexplicable importance. It represented the judgment of his fellow passengers, the judgment of Society; for he knew that, whether or not it repulsed a refined mind, any group of eight people—even in a third-class carriage—holds the essence of Society.

But being in love, and recently engaged, Shelton had a right to be immune from discontent of any kind, and he reverted to his mental image of the cool, fair face, quick movements, and the brilliant smile that now in his probationary exile haunted his imagination; he took out his fiancee's last letter, but the voice of the young foreigner addressing him in rapid French caused him to put it back abruptly.

But being in love and recently engaged, Shelton had every reason to be free from any kind of dissatisfaction. He thought back to his mental image of her cool, fair face, her quick movements, and the brilliant smile that now, during his temporary separation, lingered in his mind. He took out his fiancée's last letter, but the sound of the young foreigner speaking to him in quick French made him put it away abruptly.

“From what she tells me, sir,” he said, bending forward to be out of hearing of the girl, “hers is an unhappy case. I should have been only too glad to help her, but, as you see”—and he made a gesture by which Shelton observed that he had parted from his waistcoat—“I am not Rothschild. She has been abandoned by the man who brought her over to Dover under promise of marriage. Look”—and by a subtle flicker of his eyes he marked how the two ladies had edged away from the French girl “they take good care not to let their garments touch her. They are virtuous women. How fine a thing is virtue, sir! and finer to know you have it, especially when you are never likely to be tempted.”

“From what she’s told me, sir,” he said, leaning in to keep his voice low so the girl couldn’t hear, “her situation is pretty miserable. I would have been more than happy to help her, but, as you can see”—and he gestured to indicate he had moved away from his waistcoat—“I'm not exactly Rothschild. She’s been abandoned by the guy who brought her over to Dover with the promise of marriage. Look”—and with a subtle glance, he indicated how the two ladies had shifted away from the French girl—“they’re careful not to let their clothes touch her. They’re good women. How admirable virtue is, sir! And even better to know you possess it, especially when you’re unlikely to be tempted.”

Shelton was unable to repress a smile; and when he smiled his face grew soft.

Shelton couldn't help but smile, and whenever he smiled, his face became softer.

“Haven't you observed,” went on the youthful foreigner, “that those who by temperament and circumstance are worst fitted to pronounce judgment are usually the first to judge? The judgments of Society are always childish, seeing that it's composed for the most part of individuals who have never smelt the fire. And look at this: they who have money run too great a risk of parting with it if they don't accuse the penniless of being rogues and imbeciles.”

“Have you noticed,” continued the young foreigner, “that those who are least qualified to judge are often the first to do so? Society's judgments are typically immature, considering that it's made up mostly of people who have never faced real challenges. And look at this: those with money are at a high risk of losing it if they don’t label the poor as criminals and fools.”

Shelton was startled, and not only by an outburst of philosophy from an utter stranger in poor clothes, but at this singular wording of his own private thoughts. Stifling his sense of the unusual for the queer attraction this young man inspired, he said:

Shelton was surprised, not just by a random philosophical statement from a complete stranger in tattered clothes, but also by the strange way his own private thoughts were expressed. Suppressing his feeling of the unusual for the odd pull this young man had on him, he said:

“I suppose you're a stranger over here?”

“I guess you're new around here?”

“I've been in England seven months, but not yet in London,” replied the other. “I count on doing some good there—it is time!” A bitter and pathetic smile showed for a second on his lips. “It won't be my fault if I fail. You are English, Sir?”

“I've been in England for seven months, but I still haven't been to London,” replied the other. “I expect to do some good there—it’s about time!” A bitter and sad smile appeared on his lips for a moment. “If I fail, it won’t be because I didn’t try. You’re English, right, sir?”

Shelton nodded.

Shelton agreed.

“Forgive my asking; your voice lacks something I've nearly always noticed in the English a kind of—'comment cela s'appelle'—cocksureness, coming from your nation's greatest quality.”

“Sorry to ask, but your voice is missing something I’ve often noticed in the English—a kind of—'what do you call it'—confidence that comes from your country's greatest asset.”

“And what is that?” asked Shelton with a smile.

“And what is that?” Shelton asked with a smile.

“Complacency,” replied the youthful foreigner.

"Complacency," replied the young foreigner.

“Complacency!” repeated Shelton; “do you call that a great quality?”

“Complacency!” Shelton repeated. “Is that what you consider a great quality?”

“I should rather say, monsieur, a great defect in what is always a great people. You are certainly the most highly-civilised nation on the earth; you suffer a little from the fact. If I were an English preacher my desire would be to prick the heart of your complacency.”

“I would rather say, sir, that there's a significant flaw in what is always a great nation. You are undoubtedly the most highly civilized country on earth; that does come with some downsides. If I were an English preacher, my goal would be to challenge your sense of self-satisfaction.”

Shelton, leaning back, considered this impertinent suggestion.

Shelton leaned back, contemplating this rude suggestion.

“Hum!” he said at last, “you'd be unpopular; I don't know that we're any cockier than other nations.”

“Hum!” he said finally, “you'd be unpopular; I don’t think we’re any more arrogant than other countries.”

The young foreigner made a sign as though confirming this opinion.

The young foreigner nodded as if agreeing with this view.

“In effect,” said he, “it is a sufficiently widespread disease. Look at these people here”—and with a rapid glance he pointed to the inmates of the carnage,—“very average persons! What have they done to warrant their making a virtuous nose at those who do not walk as they do? That old rustic, perhaps, is different—he never thinks at all—but look at those two occupied with their stupidities about the price of hops, the prospects of potatoes, what George is doing, a thousand things all of that sort—look at their faces; I come of the bourgeoisie myself—have they ever shown proof of any quality that gives them the right to pat themselves upon the back? No fear! Outside potatoes they know nothing, and what they do not understand they dread and they despise—there are millions of that breed. 'Voila la Societe'. The sole quality these people have shown they have is cowardice. I was educated by the Jesuits,” he concluded; “it has given me a way of thinking.”

“Basically,” he said, “it's a pretty common problem. Look at these people here”—and with a quick glance, he pointed to the people in the crowd—“just very ordinary folks! What have they done to deserve looking down on those who don’t live like they do? That old farmer might be different—he doesn’t think at all—but look at those two caught up in their nonsense about the price of hops, the potato crop, what George is doing, a thousand things like that—look at their faces; I come from the middle class myself—have they ever shown any quality that gives them the right to feel superior? No way! Outside of potatoes, they know nothing, and what they don’t understand, they fear and look down on—there are millions like them. 'Voilà la Société'. The only quality these people have shown is cowardice. I was educated by the Jesuits,” he concluded, “it has shaped my way of thinking.”

Under ordinary circumstances Shelton would have murmured in a well-bred voice, “Ah! quite so,” and taken refuge in the columns of the Daily Telegraph. In place of this, for some reason that he did not understand, he looked at the young foreigner, and asked,

Under normal circumstances, Shelton would have softly replied in a polite tone, “Ah! quite so,” and sought comfort in the pages of the Daily Telegraph. Instead, for reasons he couldn't grasp, he looked at the young foreigner and asked,

“Why do you say all this to me?”

“Why are you telling me all of this?”

The tramp—for by his boots he could hardly have been better—hesitated.

The traveler—by his boots he could hardly be better—hesitated.

“When you've travelled like me,” he said, as if resolved to speak the truth, “you acquire an instinct in choosing to whom and how you speak. It is necessity that makes the law; if you want to live you must learn all that sort of thing to make face against life.”

“When you’ve traveled as much as I have,” he said, as if committed to being honest, “you develop a knack for deciding who to talk to and how. Necessity creates the rules; if you want to survive, you have to learn all those things to face life.”

Shelton, who himself possessed a certain subtlety, could not but observe the complimentary nature of these words. It was like saying “I'm not afraid of you misunderstanding me, and thinking me a rascal just because I study human nature.”

Shelton, who had a certain finesse himself, couldn't help but notice the flattering nature of these words. It was like saying, “I'm not worried about you misunderstanding me and thinking I'm a bad person just because I study human nature.”

“But is there nothing to be done for that poor girl?”

“But is there really nothing that can be done for that poor girl?”

His new acquaintance shrugged his shoulders.

His new friend shrugged.

“A broken jug,” said he; “—you'll never mend her. She's going to a cousin in London to see if she can get help; you've given her the means of getting there—it's all that you can do. One knows too well what'll become of her.”

“A broken jug,” he said; “—you'll never fix her. She's going to visit a cousin in London to see if she can get help; you've given her the means to get there—it's all you can do. We all know too well what will happen to her.”

Shelton said gravely,

Shelton said seriously,

“Oh! that's horrible! Could n't she be induced to go back home? I should be glad—”

“Oh! that's terrible! Couldn't she be convinced to go back home? I would be happy—”

The foreign vagrant shook his head.

The homeless stranger shook his head.

“Mon cher monsieur,” he said, “you evidently have not yet had occasion to know what the 'family' is like. 'The family' does not like damaged goods; it will have nothing to say to sons whose hands have dipped into the till or daughters no longer to be married. What the devil would they do with her? Better put a stone about her neck and let her drown at once. All the world is Christian, but Christian and good Samaritan are not quite the same.”

“Dear sir,” he said, “you clearly haven’t had the chance to see what 'the family' is really like. 'The family' doesn’t accept damaged goods; it won’t associate with sons who have stolen or daughters who can’t be married off. What on earth would they do with her? It’s better to tie a stone around her neck and let her drown right away. Everyone claims to be Christian, but being Christian and being a good Samaritan are not the same thing.”

Shelton looked at the girl, who was sitting motionless, with her hands crossed on her bag, and a revolt against the unfair ways of life arose within him.

Shelton looked at the girl, who was sitting still, with her hands crossed on her bag, and a sense of rebellion against the unfairness of life stirred inside him.

“Yes,” said the young foreigner, as if reading all his thoughts, “what's called virtue is nearly always only luck.” He rolled his eyes as though to say: “Ah! La, Conventions? Have them by all means—but don't look like peacocks because you are preserving them; it is but cowardice and luck, my friends—but cowardice and luck!”

“Yeah,” said the young foreigner, as if he could read all his thoughts, “what people call virtue is usually just luck.” He rolled his eyes as if to say: “Oh! Conventions? Go ahead and keep them—but don’t strut around like peacocks just because you’re upholding them; it’s really just cowardice and luck, my friends—but cowardice and luck!”

“Look here,” said Shelton, “I'll give her my address, and if she wants to go back to her family she can write to me.”

“Look here,” said Shelton, “I’ll give her my address, and if she wants to go back to her family, she can write to me.”

“She'll never go back; she won't have the courage.”

“She'll never go back; she doesn't have the courage.”

Shelton caught the cringing glance of the girl's eyes; in the droop of her lip there was something sensuous, and the conviction that the young man's words were true came over him.

Shelton saw the girl’s eyes look away, and the way her lip hung down had a certain allure to it, making him realize that the young man's words were indeed true.

“I had better not give them my private address,” he thought, glancing at the faces opposite; and he wrote down the following: “Richard Paramor Shelton, c/o Paramor and Herring, Lincoln's Inn Fields.”

“I'd better not give them my personal address,” he thought, glancing at the faces across from him; and he wrote down the following: “Richard Paramor Shelton, c/o Paramor and Herring, Lincoln's Inn Fields.”

“You're very good, sir. My name is Louis Ferrand; no address at present. I'll make her understand; she's half stupefied just now.”

"You're really great, sir. I'm Louis Ferrand; I don’t have an address at the moment. I'll get her to understand; she's half out of it right now."

Shelton returned to the perusal of his paper, too disturbed to read; the young vagrant's words kept sounding in his ears. He raised his eyes. The plump hand of the lady with the Roman nose still rested on her lap; it had been recased in its black glove with large white stitching. Her frowning gaze was fixed on him suspiciously, as if he had outraged her sense of decency.

Shelton went back to looking at his paper, too upset to focus; the young vagrant's words kept echoing in his mind. He looked up. The round hand of the lady with the Roman nose was still resting on her lap; it was back in its black glove with large white stitching. Her frowning gaze was locked onto him suspiciously, as if he had offended her sense of decency.

“He did n't get anything from me,” said the voice of the red-faced man, ending a talk on tax-gatherers. The train whistled loudly, and Shelton reverted to his paper. This time he crossed his legs, determined to enjoy the latest murder; once more he found himself looking at the vagrant's long-nosed, mocking face. “That fellow,” he thought, “has seen and felt ten times as much as I, although he must be ten years younger.”

“He didn’t get anything from me,” said the red-faced man, wrapping up a conversation about tax collectors. The train whistled loudly, and Shelton went back to his newspaper. This time he crossed his legs, resolved to enjoy the latest murder story; once again, he found himself staring at the vagrant's long-nosed, mocking face. “That guy,” he thought, “has experienced and felt ten times more than I have, even though he must be ten years younger.”

He turned for distraction to the landscape, with its April clouds, trim hedgerows, homely coverts. But strange ideas would come, and he was discontented with himself; the conversation he had had, the personality of this young foreigner, disturbed him. It was all as though he had made a start in some fresh journey through the fields of thought.

He turned to the scenery for a distraction, with its April clouds, neat hedges, and cozy thickets. But strange thoughts would pop up, and he felt uneasy with himself; the conversation he had, the personality of this young foreigner, unsettled him. It was like he had embarked on a new journey through the fields of thought.





CHAPTER II

ANTONIA

Five years before the journey just described Shelton had stood one afternoon on the barge of his old college at the end of the summer races. He had been “down” from Oxford for some years, but these Olympian contests still attracted him.

Five years before the journey just described, Shelton stood one afternoon on the barge of his old college at the end of the summer races. He had been “down” from Oxford for several years, but these epic contests still drew him in.

The boats were passing, and in the usual rush to the barge side his arm came in contact with a soft young shoulder. He saw close to him a young girl with fair hair knotted in a ribbon, whose face was eager with excitement. The pointed chin, long neck, the fluffy hair, quick gestures, and the calm strenuousness of her grey-blue eyes, impressed him vividly.

The boats were going by, and in the usual hurry to get to the barge, his arm brushed against a soft young shoulder. He noticed a young girl nearby with fair hair tied up with a ribbon, her face lit up with excitement. The pointed chin, long neck, fluffy hair, quick gestures, and the steady intensity of her grey-blue eyes left a strong impression on him.

“Oh, we must bump them!” he heard her sigh.

“Oh, we have to bump them!” he heard her say with a sigh.

“Do you know my people, Shelton?” said a voice behind his back; and he was granted a touch from the girl's shy, impatient hand, the warmer fingers of a lady with kindly eyes resembling a hare's, the dry hand-clasp of a gentleman with a thin, arched nose, and a quizzical brown face.

“Do you know my people, Shelton?” said a voice behind him; and he felt a brush from the girl's shy, eager hand, the warmer fingers of a woman with kind eyes like a hare's, the dry hand-shake of a man with a thin, curved nose, and a curious brown face.

“Are you the Mr. Shelton who used to play the 'bones' at Eton?” said the lady. “Oh; we so often heard of you from Bernard! He was your fag, was n't he? How distressin' it is to see these poor boys in the boats!”

“Are you the Mr. Shelton who used to play the 'bones' at Eton?” said the lady. “Oh, we heard about you so much from Bernard! He was your junior, right? It's so sad to see those poor boys in the boats!”

“Mother, they like it!” cried the girl.

“Mom, they love it!” shouted the girl.

“Antonia ought to be rowing, herself,” said her father, whose name was Dennant.

“Antonia should be rowing herself,” said her father, whose name was Dennant.

Shelton went back with them to their hotel, walking beside Antonia through the Christchurch meadows, telling her details of his college life. He dined with them that evening, and, when he left, had a feeling like that produced by a first glass of champagne.

Shelton went back with them to their hotel, walking next to Antonia through the Christchurch meadows, sharing details about his college life. He had dinner with them that evening, and when he left, he felt a buzz similar to that from a first glass of champagne.

The Dennants lived at Holm Oaks, within six miles of Oxford, and two days later he drove over and paid a call. Amidst the avocations of reading for the Bar, of cricket, racing, shooting, it but required a whiff of some fresh scent—hay, honeysuckle, clover—to bring Antonia's face before him, with its uncertain colour and its frank, distant eyes. But two years passed before he again saw her. Then, at an invitation from Bernard Dennant, he played cricket for the Manor of Holm Oaks against a neighbouring house; in the evening there was dancing oh the lawn. The fair hair was now turned up, but the eyes were quite unchanged. Their steps went together, and they outlasted every other couple on the slippery grass. Thence, perhaps, sprang her respect for him; he was wiry, a little taller than herself, and seemed to talk of things that interested her. He found out she was seventeen, and she found out that he was twenty-nine. The following two years Shelton went to Holm Oaks whenever he was asked; to him this was a period of enchanted games, of cub-hunting, theatricals, and distant sounds of practised music, and during it Antonia's eyes grew more friendly and more curious, and his own more shy, and schooled, more furtive and more ardent. Then came his father's death, a voyage round the world, and that peculiar hour of mixed sensations when, one March morning, abandoning his steamer at Marseilles, he took train for Hyeres.

The Dennants lived at Holm Oaks, about six miles from Oxford, and two days later he drove over to visit. With his busy schedule of studying for the Bar, playing cricket, racing, and shooting, all it took was a hint of a fresh scent—hay, honeysuckle, clover—to bring Antonia’s face to mind, with its uncertain color and open, distant eyes. But it was two years before he saw her again. Then, at the invitation of Bernard Dennant, he played cricket for the Manor of Holm Oaks against a nearby house; in the evening, there was dancing on the lawn. Her fair hair was now styled up, but her eyes looked just the same. They danced together and outlasted every other couple on the slippery grass. Perhaps this is where her respect for him began; he was lean, slightly taller than she was, and seemed to talk about things that interested her. He learned she was seventeen, and she discovered he was twenty-nine. For the next two years, Shelton visited Holm Oaks whenever he was invited; for him, it was a time of enchanted games, fox hunting, theater performances, and distant music, during which Antonia’s eyes became friendlier and more curious, while his grew shyer, more guarded, and more intense. Then came his father’s death, a trip around the world, and that strange moment of mixed emotions when, one March morning, leaving his ship in Marseilles, he took the train to Hyères.

He found her at one of those exclusive hostelries amongst the pines where the best English go, in common with Americans, Russian princesses, and Jewish families; he would not have been shocked to find her elsewhere, but he would have been surprised. His sunburnt face and the new beard, on which he set some undefined value, apologetically displayed, were scanned by those blue eyes with rapid glances, at once more friendly and less friendly. “Ah!” they seemed to say, “here you are; how glad I am! But—what now?”

He found her at one of those upscale inns nestled among the pines where the best of England mingled with Americans, Russian princesses, and Jewish families; he wouldn’t have been shocked to see her somewhere else, but it would have caught him off guard. His sunburned face and the new beard, which he valued in some vague way, were scrutinized by those blue eyes with quick glances that were both warm and cool. “Ah!” they seemed to convey, “there you are; I’m so glad to see you! But—what now?”

He was admitted to their sacred table at the table d'hote, a snowy oblong in an airy alcove, where the Honourable Mrs. Dennant, Miss Dennant, and the Honourable Charlotte Penguin, a maiden aunt with insufficient lungs, sat twice a day in their own atmosphere. A momentary weakness came on Shelton the first time he saw them sitting there at lunch. What was it gave them their look of strange detachment? Mrs. Dennant was bending above a camera.

He was welcomed to their special table at the table d'hote, a snowy rectangle in a breezy nook, where the Honourable Mrs. Dennant, Miss Dennant, and the Honourable Charlotte Penguin, an aunt with weak lungs, sat twice a day in their own bubble. A brief moment of vulnerability hit Shelton the first time he saw them there at lunch. What made them seem so oddly disconnected? Mrs. Dennant was leaning over a camera.

“I'm afraid, d' you know, it's under-exposed,” she said.

“I'm afraid, you know, it's underexposed,” she said.

“What a pity! The kitten was rather nice!” The maiden aunt, placing the knitting of a red silk tie beside her plate, turned her aspiring, well-bred gaze on Shelton.

“What a shame! The kitten was pretty nice!” The maiden aunt, placing her red silk tie knitting beside her plate, directed her hopeful, well-mannered gaze at Shelton.

“Look, Auntie,” said Antonia in her clear, quick voice, “there's the funny little man again!”

“Look, Auntie,” said Antonia in her clear, quick voice, “there's that funny little man again!”

“Oh,” said the maiden aunt—a smile revealed her upper teeth; she looked for the funny little man (who was not English)—“he's rather nice!”

“Oh,” said the maiden aunt—a smile showed her upper teeth; she looked for the funny little man (who wasn't English)—“he's pretty nice!”

Shelton did not look for the funny little man; he stole a glance that barely reached Antonia's brow, where her eyebrows took their tiny upward slant at the outer corners, and her hair was still ruffled by a windy walk. From that moment he became her slave.

Shelton didn’t search for the quirky little man; he took a quick look that barely touched Antonia’s forehead, where her eyebrows arched slightly at the outer corners, and her hair was still tousled from a breezy walk. From that moment on, he became her servant.

“Mr. Shelton, do you know anything about these periscopic binoculars?” said Mrs. Dennant's voice; “they're splendid for buildin's, but buildin's are so disappointin'. The thing is to get human interest, isn't it?” and her glance wandered absently past Shelton in search of human interest.

“Mr. Shelton, do you know anything about these periscopic binoculars?” said Mrs. Dennant's voice. “They’re excellent for buildings, but buildings are so disappointing. The real point is to find human interest, right?” Her gaze drifted absentmindedly past Shelton as she looked for human interest.

“You haven't put down what you've taken, mother.”

“You haven't put down what you took, mom.”

From a little leather bag Mrs. Dennant took a little leather book.

From a small leather bag, Mrs. Dennant took out a small leather book.

“It's so easy to forget what they're about,” she said, “that's so annoyin'.”

“It's so easy to forget what they're about,” she said, “that's so annoying.”

Shelton was not again visited by his uneasiness at their detachment; he accepted them and all their works, for there was something quite sublime about the way that they would leave the dining-room, unconscious that they themselves were funny to all the people they had found so funny while they had been sitting there, and he would follow them out unnecessarily upright and feeling like a fool.

Shelton wasn't bothered anymore by their aloofness; he accepted them and everything they did, because there was something truly admirable about how they would leave the dining room, completely unaware that they were just as amusing to the people they'd found so hilarious while sitting there. He would follow them out, standing tall for no reason and feeling like a fool.

In the ensuing fortnight, chaperoned by the maiden aunt, for Mrs. Dennant disliked driving, he sat opposite to Antonia during many drives; he played sets of tennis with her; but it was in the evenings after dinner—those long evenings on a parquet floor in wicker chairs dragged as far as might be from the heating apparatus—that he seemed so very near her. The community of isolation drew them closer. In place of a companion he had assumed the part of friend, to whom she could confide all her home-sick aspirations. So that, even when she was sitting silent, a slim, long foot stretched out in front, bending with an air of cool absorption over some pencil sketches which she would not show him—even then, by her very attitude, by the sweet freshness that clung about her, by her quick, offended glances at the strange persons round, she seemed to acknowledge in some secret way that he was necessary. He was far from realising this; his intellectual and observant parts were hypnotised and fascinated even by her failings. The faint freckling across her nose, the slim and virginal severeness of her figure, with its narrow hips and arms, the curve of her long neck-all were added charms. She had the wind and rain look, a taste of home; and over the glaring roads, where the palm-tree shadows lay so black, she seemed to pass like the very image of an English day.

In the next two weeks, accompanied by her maiden aunt, since Mrs. Dennant didn’t like to drive, he sat across from Antonia during many car rides; he played tennis with her; but it was in the evenings after dinner—those long evenings on a wooden floor in wicker chairs pulled as far away from the heat as possible—that he felt closest to her. Their shared sense of isolation brought them together. Instead of being just a companion, he became a friend to whom she could share all her homesick dreams. So even when she sat silently, a slender foot stretched out in front of her, leaning with an air of cool focus over some pencil sketches she wouldn’t show him—even then, by her very posture, by the sweet freshness surrounding her, by her quick, offended glances at the unfamiliar people around, she seemed to acknowledge in a secret way that he was important to her. He was far from realizing this; his intellectual and observant sides were captivated and fascinated even by her flaws. The light freckles on her nose, the slim and innocent line of her figure, with its narrow hips and arms, the curve of her long neck—each was an added charm. She had a look of wind and rain, a taste of home; and over the glaring roads, where the shadows of palm trees lay so dark, she seemed to glide by like the very image of an English day.

One afternoon he had taken her to play tennis with some friends, and afterwards they strolled on to her favourite view. Down the Toulon road gardens and hills were bathed in the colour of ripe apricot; an evening crispness had stolen on the air; the blood, released from the sun's numbing, ran gladly in the veins. On the right hand of the road was a Frenchman playing bowls. Enormous, busy, pleased, and upright as a soldier, pathetically trotting his vast carcass from end to end, he delighted Shelton. But Antonia threw a single look at the huge creature, and her face expressed disgust. She began running up towards the ruined tower.

One afternoon, he took her to play tennis with some friends, and afterwards they walked to her favorite viewpoint. Down the Toulon road, gardens and hills were bathed in the color of ripe apricots; a crispness had settled in the air; the blood, released from the sun's heat, flowed happily in their veins. On the right side of the road, a Frenchman was playing pétanque. Huge, busy, happy, and standing tall like a soldier, he awkwardly trotted his large frame from one end to the other, delighting Shelton. But Antonia took one look at the big guy and her face showed disgust. She started running up towards the ruined tower.

Shelton let her keep in front, watching her leap from stone to stone and throw back defiant glances when he pressed behind. She stood at the top, and he looked up at her. Over the world, gloriously spread below, she, like a statue, seemed to rule. The colour was brilliant in her cheeks, her young bosom heaved, her eyes shone, and the flowing droop of her long, full sleeves gave to her poised figure the look of one who flies. He pulled himself up and stood beside her; his heart choked him, all the colour had left his cheeks.

Shelton let her lead ahead, watching her jump from stone to stone and throw defiant glances back at him as he followed. She stood at the top, and he looked up at her. Over the vast landscape spread out below, she looked like a statue, seemingly in command. Her cheeks were flushed with color, her young chest rose and fell, her eyes sparkled, and the flowing drape of her long, full sleeves gave her poised figure the appearance of someone taking flight. He pulled himself up and stood beside her; his heart felt heavy, and all the color had drained from his face.

“Antonia,” he said, “I love you.”

“Antonia,” he said, “I love you.”

She started, as if his whisper had intruded on her thoughts; but his face must have expressed his hunger, for the resentment in her eyes vanished.

She jumped, as if his whisper had interrupted her thoughts; but his face must have shown his desire, because the anger in her eyes faded away.

They stood for several minutes without speaking, and then went home. Shelton painfully revolved the riddle of the colour in her face. Had he a chance then? Was it possible? That evening the instinct vouchsafed at times to lovers in place of reason caused him to pack his bag and go to Cannes. On returning, two days later, and approaching the group in the centre of the Winter Garden, the voice of the maiden aunt reading aloud an extract from the Morning Post reached him across the room.

They stood in silence for several minutes before heading home. Shelton struggled with the puzzle of the color in her face. Did he have a chance? Was it possible? That evening, the instinct sometimes granted to lovers in place of reason made him pack his bag and go to Cannes. When he returned two days later and approached the group in the middle of the Winter Garden, he heard the voice of the maiden aunt reading aloud an excerpt from the Morning Post across the room.

“Don't you think that's rather nice?” he heard her ask, and then: “Oh, here you aye! It's very nice to see you back!”

“Don’t you think that’s really nice?” he heard her ask, and then: “Oh, there you are! It’s so nice to see you back!”

Shelton slipped into a wicker chair. Antonia looked up quickly from her sketch-book, put out a hand, but did not speak.

Shelton sank into a wicker chair. Antonia glanced up quickly from her sketchbook, reached out a hand, but stayed silent.

He watched her bending head, and his eagerness was changed to gloom. With desperate vivacity he sustained the five intolerable minutes of inquiry, where had he been, what had he been doing? Then once again the maiden aunt commenced her extracts from the Morning Post.

He watched her bent head, and his excitement turned to sadness. With frantic energy, he endured the five unbearable minutes of questioning: where had he been, what had he been doing? Then once again, the maiden aunt began reading excerpts from the Morning Post.

A touch on his sleeve startled him. Antonia was leaning forward; her cheeks were crimson above the pallor of her neck.

A touch on his sleeve startled him. Antonia was leaning in; her cheeks were red against the pale skin of her neck.

“Would you like to see my sketches?”

“Do you want to see my sketches?”

To Shelton, bending above those sketches, that drawl of the well-bred maiden aunt intoning the well-bred paper was the most pleasant sound that he had ever listened to.

To Shelton, leaning over those sketches, the refined drawl of the cultured maiden aunt reciting the polished paper was the most delightful sound he had ever heard.

“My dear Dick,” Mrs. Dennant said to him a fortnight later, “we would rather, after you leave here, that you don't see each other again until July. Of course I know you count it an engagement and all that, and everybody's been writin' to congratulate you. But Algie thinks you ought to give yourselves a chance. Young people don't always know what they're about, you know; it's not long to wait.”

“My dear Dick,” Mrs. Dennant said to him two weeks later, “we would prefer that after you leave here, you don’t see each other again until July. Of course, I know you consider it an engagement and all that, and everyone’s been writing to congratulate you. But Algie thinks you should give yourselves a chance. Young people don’t always know what they’re doing, you know; it’s not long to wait.”

“Three months!” gasped Shelton.

"Three months!" gasped Shelton.

He had to swallow down this pill with what grace he could command. There was no alternative. Antonia had acquiesced in the condition with a queer, grave pleasure, as if she expected it to do her good.

He had to take this pill with whatever grace he could manage. There was no other choice. Antonia had agreed to the situation with an odd, serious satisfaction, as if she believed it would benefit her.

“It'll be something to look forward to, Dick,” she said.

"It'll be something to look forward to, Dick," she said.

He postponed departure as long as possible, and it was not until the end of April that he left for England. She came alone to see him off. It was drizzling, but her tall, slight figure in the golf cape looked impervious to cold and rain amongst the shivering natives. Desperately he clutched her hand, warm through the wet glove; her smile seemed heartless in its brilliancy. He whispered “You will write?”

He delayed leaving as long as he could, and it wasn't until the end of April that he headed for England. She came alone to say goodbye. It was drizzling, but her tall, slender figure in the golf cape looked unaffected by the cold and rain amidst the shivering locals. He desperately held her hand, warm through the wet glove; her smile seemed heartless in its brightness. He whispered, “You will write?”

“Of course; don't be so stupid, you old Dick!”

“Of course; don’t be so foolish, you old Dick!”

She ran forward as the train began to move; her clear “Good-bye!” sounded shrill and hard above the rumble of the wheels. He saw her raise her hand, an umbrella waving, and last of all, vivid still amongst receding shapes, the red spot of her scarlet tam-o'-shanter.

She ran forward as the train started to move; her clear “Goodbye!” rang out sharply above the rumble of the wheels. He saw her raise her hand, an umbrella waving, and finally, bright against the fading shapes, the red spot of her bright red cap.





CHAPTER III

A ZOOLOGICAL GARDEN

After his journey up from Dover, Shelton was still fathering his luggage at Charing Cross, when the foreign girl passed him, and, in spite of his desire to say something cheering, he could get nothing out but a shame-faced smile. Her figure vanished, wavering into the hurly-burly; one of his bags had gone astray, and so all thought of her soon faded from his mind. His cab, however, overtook the foreign vagrant marching along towards Pall Mall with a curious, lengthy stride—an observant, disillusioned figure.

After his trip from Dover, Shelton was still managing his luggage at Charing Cross when the foreign girl walked by him. Despite wanting to say something nice, all he could manage was an awkward smile. Her silhouette disappeared into the chaos; one of his bags had gone missing, and soon, he forgot all about her. However, his cab caught up with the foreign girl as she walked toward Pall Mall with a strange, long stride—an observant, disillusioned figure.

The first bustle of installation over, time hung heavy on his hands. July loomed distant, as in some future century; Antonia's eyes beckoned him faintly, hopelessly. She would not even be coming back to England for another month.

The initial rush of setting things up was over, and he felt like time dragged on. July seemed far away, almost like it belonged to another century; Antonia's eyes called to him softly, yet it felt hopeless. She wouldn’t even return to England for another month.

. . . I met a young foreigner in the train from Dover [he wrote to her]—a curious sort of person altogether, who seems to have infected me. Everything here has gone flat and unprofitable; the only good things in life are your letters.... John Noble dined with me yesterday; the poor fellow tried to persuade me to stand for Parliament. Why should I think myself fit to legislate for the unhappy wretches one sees about in the streets? If people's faces are a fair test of their happiness, I' d rather not feel in any way responsible....

. . . I met a young foreigner on the train from Dover [he wrote to her]—a really interesting person overall, who seems to have rubbed off on me. Everything here feels dull and pointless; the only good things in life are your letters... John Noble had dinner with me yesterday; the poor guy tried to convince me to run for Parliament. Why should I think I’m fit to make laws for the unfortunate people you see on the streets? If people's faces are any indication of their happiness, I’d rather not feel responsible in any way...

The streets, in fact, after his long absence in the East, afforded him much food for thought: the curious smugness of the passers-by; the utterly unending bustle; the fearful medley of miserable, over-driven women, and full-fed men, with leering, bull-beef eyes, whom he saw everywhere—in club windows, on their beats, on box seats, on the steps of hotels, discharging dilatory duties; the appalling chaos of hard-eyed, capable dames with defiant clothes, and white-cheeked hunted-looking men; of splendid creatures in their cabs, and cadging creatures in their broken hats—the callousness and the monotony!

The streets, after his long time away in the East, gave him a lot to think about: the strange smugness of the people passing by; the nonstop hustle and bustle; the jarring mix of exhausted, overworked women and well-fed men with pushy, aggressive looks, who he saw everywhere—in club windows, on their posts, in theater seats, on hotel steps, barely getting their jobs done; the shocking chaos of tough, self-assured women in bold outfits, and pale, anxious-looking men; of stunning people in their cabs, and those trying to get by in their worn-out hats—the indifference and the same old routine!

One afternoon in May he received this letter couched in French:

One afternoon in May, he got this letter written in French:

3, BLANK ROW WESTMINSTER. MY DEAR SIR,

3, BLANK ROW WESTMINSTER. MY DEAR SIR,

Excuse me for recalling to your memory the offer of assistance you so kindly made me during the journey from Dover to London, in which I was so fortunate as to travel with a man like you. Having beaten the whole town, ignorant of what wood to make arrows, nearly at the end of my resources, my spirit profoundly discouraged, I venture to avail myself of your permission, knowing your good heart. Since I saw you I have run through all the misfortunes of the calendar, and cannot tell what door is left at which I have not knocked. I presented myself at the business firm with whose name you supplied me, but being unfortunately in rags, they refused to give me your address. Is this not very much in the English character? They told me to write, and said they would forward the letter. I put all my hopes in you.

I'm sorry to remind you of the offer of help you kindly made during our trip from Dover to London, where I was lucky enough to travel with someone like you. After exhausting the entire town, not knowing what kind of wood to use for arrows, and almost out of options, my spirits deeply discouraged, I'm taking the chance to reach out to you, knowing you have a kind heart. Since I last saw you, I've gone through every misfortune imaginable and can't think of a door I've left unknocked. I went to the business firm you recommended, but unfortunately, since I was in rags, they refused to give me your address. Isn't that so typical of the English? They told me to write them, and they said they would send the letter. I'm putting all my hopes in you.

Believe me, my dear sir,

Trust me, my dear sir,

(whatever you may decide)

(whatever you decide)

Your devoted

Your loyal

LOUIS FERRAND.

LOUIS FERRAND.

Shelton looked at the envelope, and saw, that it, bore date a week ago. The face of the young vagrant rose before him, vital, mocking, sensitive; the sound of his quick French buzzed in his ears, and, oddly, the whole whiff of him had a power of raising more vividly than ever his memories of Antonia. It had been at the end of the journey from Hyeres to London that he had met him; that seemed to give the youth a claim.

Shelton looked at the envelope and saw that it was dated a week ago. The image of the young vagrant came to mind, full of life, teasing, and sensitive; the sound of his fast French buzzed in Shelton’s ears, and strangely, everything about him made Shelton remember Antonia more vividly than ever. He had met the youth at the end of the trip from Hyeres to London, which seemed to give him a sort of connection.

He took his hat and hurried, to Blank Row. Dismissing his cab at the corner of Victoria Street he with difficulty found the house in question. It was a doorless place, with stone-flagged corridor—in other words, a “doss-house.” By tapping on a sort of ticket-office with a sliding window, he attracted the attention of a blowsy woman with soap-suds on her arms, who informed him that the person he was looking for had gone without leaving his address.

He grabbed his hat and rushed to Blank Row. After getting out of his cab at the corner of Victoria Street, he struggled to find the right house. It had no door, just a stone-flagged hallway—in other words, it was a “doss-house.” By tapping on a ticket window with a sliding panel, he caught the attention of a disheveled woman with soap suds on her arms, who told him that the person he was looking for had left without giving his address.

“But isn't there anybody,” asked Shelton, “of whom I can make inquiry?”

“But isn't there anyone,” asked Shelton, “whom I can ask about?”

“Yes; there's a Frenchman.” And opening an inner door she bellowed: “Frenchy! Wanted!” and disappeared.

“Yes; there’s a French guy.” And opening an inner door, she shouted: “Frenchy! You’re needed!” and then left.

A dried-up, yellow little man, cynical and weary in the face, as if a moral steam-roller had passed over it, answered this call, and stood, sniffing, as it were, at Shelton, on whom he made the singular impression of some little creature in a cage.

A shriveled, yellow little man, cynical and tired-looking, as if a moral steamroller had run over his face, responded to this call and stood there, sniffing at Shelton, who struck him as some small creature trapped in a cage.

“He left here ten days ago, in the company of a mulatto. What do you want with him, if I may ask?” The little man's yellow cheeks were wrinkled with suspicion.

“He left here ten days ago with a mixed-race guy. What do you want with him, if you don’t mind me asking?” The little man’s yellow cheeks were creased with suspicion.

Shelton produced the letter.

Shelton generated the letter.

“Ah! now I know you”—a pale smile broke through the Frenchman's crow's-feet—“he spoke of you. 'If I can only find him,' he used to say, 'I 'm saved.' I liked that young man; he had ideas.”

“Ah! now I know you”—a faint smile appeared around the Frenchman's eyes—“he talked about you. 'If I can just find him,' he would say, 'I'm saved.' I liked that young guy; he had great ideas.”

“Is there no way of getting at him through his consul?”

“Is there no way to reach him through his consul?”

The Frenchman shook his head.

The Frenchman shook his head.

“Might as well look for diamonds at the bottom of the sea.”

“Might as well search for diamonds at the bottom of the ocean.”

“Do you think he will come back here? But by that time I suppose, you'll hardly be here yourself?”

“Do you think he will come back here? But by then, I guess you probably won’t be here yourself?”

A gleam of amusement played about the Frenchman's teeth:

A hint of amusement showed in the Frenchman's smile:

“I? Oh, yes, sir! Once upon a time I cherished the hope of emerging; I no longer have illusions. I shave these specimens for a living, and shall shave them till the day of judgment. But leave a letter with me by all means; he will come back. There's an overcoat of his here on which he borrowed money—it's worth more. Oh, yes; he will come back—a youth of principle. Leave a letter with me; I'm always here.”

“I? Oh, yes, sir! There was a time I hoped to make something of myself; I don’t have those illusions anymore. I shave these guys for a living, and I’ll keep doing it until the end. But definitely leave a letter with me; he will come back. There’s an overcoat of his here that he borrowed money against—it’s worth more. Oh, yes; he will come back—a guy with values. Leave a letter with me; I’m always here.”

Shelton hesitated, but those last three words, “I'm always here,” touched him in their simplicity. Nothing more dreadful could be said.

Shelton hesitated, but those last three words, “I'm always here,” affected him with their simplicity. Nothing worse could be said.

“Can you find me a sheet of paper, then?” he asked; “please keep the change for the trouble I am giving you.”

“Can you get me a piece of paper, then?” he asked. “Please keep the change for the trouble I'm causing you.”

“Thank you,” said the Frenchman simply; “he told me that your heart was good. If you don't mind the kitchen, you could write there at your ease.”

“Thanks,” the Frenchman said casually; “he mentioned that you have a kind heart. If you don't mind the kitchen, you can write there at your leisure.”

Shelton wrote his letter at the table of this stone-flagged kitchen in company with an aged, dried-up gentleman; who was muttering to himself; and Shelton tried to avoid attracting his attention, suspecting that he was not sober. Just as he was about to take his leave, however, the old fellow thus accosted him:

Shelton wrote his letter at the table in this stone-floored kitchen, alongside an old, dried-up man who was mumbling to himself. Shelton tried to avoid drawing his attention, suspecting that he wasn't sober. Just as he was about to leave, though, the old guy addressed him:

“Did you ever go to the dentist, mister?” he said, working at a loose tooth with his shrivelled fingers. “I went to a dentist once, who professed to stop teeth without giving pain, and the beggar did stop my teeth without pain; but did they stay in, those stoppings? No, my bhoy; they came out before you could say Jack Robinson. Now, I shimply ask you, d'you call that dentistry?” Fixing his eyes on Shelton's collar, which had the misfortune to be high and clean, he resumed with drunken scorn: “Ut's the same all over this pharisaical counthry. Talk of high morality and Anglo-Shaxon civilisation! The world was never at such low ebb! Phwhat's all this morality? Ut stinks of the shop. Look at the condition of Art in this counthry! look at the fools you see upon th' stage! look at the pictures and books that sell! I know what I'm talking about, though I am a sandwich man. Phwhat's the secret of ut all? Shop, my bhoy! Ut don't pay to go below a certain depth! Scratch the skin, but pierce ut—Oh! dear, no! We hate to see the blood fly, eh?”

“Have you ever been to the dentist, mister?” he asked, fiddling with a loose tooth using his withered fingers. “I went to a dentist once who claimed he could fill teeth without any pain, and that beggar did fill my teeth painlessly; but did those fillings stay in? No, my boy; they came out before you could say Jack Robinson. Now, I simply ask you, is that what you call dentistry?” Fixing his gaze on Shelton's collar, which unfortunately was high and clean, he continued with drunken disdain: “It’s the same all over this hypocritical country. Talk about high morality and Anglo-Saxon civilization! The world has never been in such a sorry state! What’s all this morality? It reeks of the marketplace. Look at the state of Art in this country! Look at the fools on the stage! Look at the paintings and books that sell! I know what I'm talking about, even though I'm a sandwich man. What’s the secret behind it all? Money, my boy! It doesn’t pay to go below a certain level! Scratch the surface, but pierce it—Oh! dear, no! We can’t bear to see the blood fly, right?”

Shelton stood disconcerted, not knowing if he were expected to reply; but the old gentleman, pursing up his lips, went on:

Shelton stood confused, unsure if he was supposed to respond; but the older man, puckering his lips, continued:

“Sir, there are no extremes in this fog-smitten land. Do ye think blanks loike me ought to exist? Whoy don't they kill us off? Palliatives—palliatives—and whoy? Because they object to th' extreme course. Look at women: the streets here are a scandal to the world. They won't recognise that they exist—their noses are so dam high! They blink the truth in this middle-class counthry. My bhoy”—and he whispered confidentially—“ut pays 'em. Eh? you say, why shouldn't they, then?” (But Shelton had not spoken.) “Well, let'em! let 'em! But don't tell me that'sh morality, don't tell me that'sh civilisation! What can you expect in a counthry where the crimson, emotions are never allowed to smell the air? And what'sh the result? My bhoy, the result is sentiment, a yellow thing with blue spots, like a fungus or a Stilton cheese. Go to the theatre, and see one of these things they call plays. Tell me, are they food for men and women? Why, they're pap for babes and shop-boys! I was a blanky actor moyself!”

“Sir, there are no extremes in this fog-covered land. Do you think people like me should even exist? Why don't they just get rid of us? Palliatives—palliatives—and why? Because they prefer not to take drastic measures. Look at women: the streets here are a disgrace to the world. They refuse to acknowledge that they exist—their noses are so high in the air! They ignore the truth in this middle-class country. My boy”—and he whispered confidentially—“it pays them. Huh? you ask, why shouldn't they, right?” (But Shelton had not spoken.) “Well, let them! Let them! But don't tell me that's morality, don't tell me that's civilization! What can you expect in a country where true emotions are never allowed to breathe? And what's the result? My boy, the result is sentimentality, a yellow thing with blue spots, like a fungus or Stilton cheese. Go to the theater, and watch one of these things they call plays. Tell me, are they fit for men and women? They’re just baby food for kids and shop boys! I was a bloody actor myself!”

Shelton listened with mingled feelings of amusement and dismay, till the old actor, having finished, resumed his crouching posture at the table.

Shelton listened with a mix of amusement and dismay until the old actor, having finished, went back to his hunched position at the table.

“You don't get dhrunk, I suppose?” he said suddenly—“too much of 'n Englishman, no doubt.”

“You don’t get drunk, I guess?” he said suddenly—“too much of an Englishman, I suppose.”

“Very seldom,” said Shelton.

"Rarely," said Shelton.

“Pity! Think of the pleasures of oblivion! Oi 'm dhrunk every night.”

“Too bad! Just think of the joys of forgetting everything! I'm drunk every night.”

“How long will you last at that rate?”

“How long can you keep that up?”

“There speaks the Englishman! Why should Oi give up me only pleasure to keep me wretched life in? If you've anything left worth the keeping shober for, keep shober by all means; if not, the sooner you are dhrunk the better—that stands to reason.”

“There speaks the Englishman! Why should I give up my only pleasure to keep my miserable life going? If you have anything worth staying sober for, go ahead and stay sober; if not, the sooner you get drunk, the better—that makes sense.”

In the corridor Shelton asked the Frenchman where the old man came from.

In the hallway, Shelton asked the Frenchman where the old man was from.

“Oh, and Englishman! Yes, yes, from Belfast very drunken old man. You are a drunken nation”—he made a motion with his hands “he no longer eats—no inside left. It is unfortunate-a man of spirit. If you have never seen one of these palaces, monsieur, I shall be happy to show you over it.”

“Oh, and Englishman! Yes, yes, from Belfast, a very drunk old man. You are a nation of drinkers”—he gestured with his hands—“he doesn't eat anymore—nothing left inside. It's unfortunate—a man of spirit. If you’ve never seen one of these palaces, sir, I’d be happy to show you around.”

Shelton took out his cigarette case.

Shelton pulled out his cigarette case.

“Yes, yes,” said the Frenchman, making a wry nose and taking a cigarette; “I'm accustomed to it. But you're wise to fumigate the air; one is n't in a harem.”

“Yes, yes,” said the Frenchman, grimacing and taking a cigarette; “I’m used to it. But you’re smart to air out the place; it’s not like being in a harem.”

And Shelton felt ashamed of his fastidiousness.

And Shelton felt embarrassed about his fussiness.

“This,” said the guide, leading him up-stairs and opening a door, “is a specimen of the apartments reserved for these princes of the blood.” There were four empty beds on iron legs, and, with the air of a showman, the Frenchman twitched away a dingy quilt. “They go out in the mornings, earn enough to make them drunk, sleep it off, and then begin again. That's their life. There are people who think they ought to be reformed. 'Mon cher monsieur', one must face reality a little, even in this country. It would be a hundred times better for these people to spend their time reforming high Society. Your high Society makes all these creatures; there's no harvest without cutting stalks. 'Selon moi',” he continued, putting back the quilt, and dribbling cigarette smoke through his nose, “there's no grand difference between your high Society and these individuals here; both want pleasure, both think only of themselves, which is very natural. One lot have had the luck, the other—well, you see.” He shrugged. “A common set! I've been robbed here half a dozen times. If you have new shoes, a good waistcoat, an overcoat, you want eyes in the back of your head. And they are populated! Change your bed, and you'll run all the dangers of not sleeping alone. 'V'la ma clientele'. The half of them don't pay me!” He, snapped his yellow sticks of fingers. “A penny for a shave, twopence a cut! 'Quelle vie'. Here,” he continued, standing by a bed, “is a gentleman who owes me fivepence. Here's one who was a soldier; he's done for! All brutalised; not one with any courage left! But, believe me, monsieur,” he went on, opening another door, “when you come down to houses of this sort you must have a vice; it's as necessary as breath is to the lungs. No matter what, you must have a vice to give you a little solace—'un peu de soulagement'. Ah, yes! before you judge these swine, reflect on life! I've been through it. Monsieur, it is not nice never to know where to get your next meal. Gentlemen who have food in their stomachs, money in their pockets, and know where to get more, they never think. Why should they—'pas de danger'. All these cages are the same. Come down, and you shall see the pantry.” He took Shelton through the kitchen, which seemed the only sitting-room of the establishment, to an inner room furnished with dirty cups and saucers, plates, and knives. Another fire was burning there. “We always have hot water,” said the Frenchman, “and three times a week they make a fire down there”—he pointed to a cellar—“for our clients to boil their vermin. Oh, yes, we have all the luxuries.”

“This,” said the guide, leading him upstairs and opening a door, “is a sample of the rooms reserved for these royal family members.” There were four empty beds on iron frames, and with the flair of a showman, the Frenchman yanked away a grimy quilt. “They head out in the mornings, make enough to get drunk, sleep it off, and then start all over again. That’s their life. Some people think they should be fixed. ‘My dear sir,’ one must face reality a little, even in this country. It would be a hundred times better for these folks to spend their time trying to reform high society. Your high society creates all these people; there's no harvest without cutting stalks. ‘In my opinion,’” he continued, putting the quilt back and exhaling cigarette smoke through his nose, “there’s not much difference between your high society and these individuals here; both want pleasure, and both think only of themselves, which is very natural. One group has had the luck, the other—well, you see.” He shrugged. “A common crowd! I’ve been robbed here half a dozen times. If you have new shoes, a nice waistcoat, a coat, you need eyes in the back of your head. And it’s crowded! Change your bed, and you’ll risk all the dangers of not sleeping alone. ‘Here’s my clientele.’ Half of them don’t pay me!” He snapped his yellow fingers. “A penny for a shave, twopence for a haircut! ‘What a life.’ Here,” he continued, standing by a bed, “is a gentleman who owes me five pence. Here’s one who was a soldier; he’s finished! All beaten down; not one of them has any courage left! But believe me, sir,” he went on, opening another door, “when you come down to places like this, you need a vice; it’s as essential as breath is to the lungs. No matter what, you must have a vice to give you a little comfort—‘a bit of relief.’ Ah, yes! before you judge these people, think about life! I’ve been through it. Sir, it’s not pleasant never to know where your next meal is coming from. Gentlemen with food in their bellies, money in their pockets, and knowing where to get more, they never think. Why should they—‘no danger.’ All these cages are the same. Come down, and you can see the pantry.” He took Shelton through the kitchen, which seemed to be the only sitting area of the place, into an inner room furnished with dirty cups and saucers, plates, and knives. Another fire was burning there. “We always have hot water,” said the Frenchman, “and three times a week they make a fire down there”—he pointed to a cellar—“for our clients to boil their pests. Oh, yes, we have all the luxuries.”

Shelton returned to the kitchen, and directly after took leave of the little Frenchman, who said, with a kind of moral button-holing, as if trying to adopt him as a patron:

Shelton went back to the kitchen, and right after, he said goodbye to the little Frenchman, who spoke to him like he was trying to make him a supporter:

“Trust me, monsieur; if he comes back—that young man—he shall have your letter without fail. My name is Carolan Jules Carolan; and I am always at your service.”

“Trust me, sir; if he comes back—that young man—he will get your letter for sure. My name is Carolan Jules Carolan; and I'm always here to help you.”





CHAPTER IV

THE PLAY

Shelton walked away; he had been indulging in a nightmare. “That old actor was drunk,” thought he, “and no doubt he was an Irishman; still, there may be truth in what he said. I am a Pharisee, like all the rest who are n't in the pit. My respectability is only luck. What should I have become if I'd been born into his kind of life?” and he stared at a stream of people coming from the Stares, trying to pierce the mask of their serious, complacent faces. If these ladies and gentlemen were put into that pit into which he had been looking, would a single one of them emerge again? But the effort of picturing them there was too much for him; it was too far—too ridiculously far.

Shelton walked away; he had just been wrapped up in a nightmare. “That old actor was drunk,” he thought, “and he was probably Irish; still, there might be some truth in what he said. I’m just a Pharisee, like everyone else who isn’t in the pit. My respectability is just luck. What would I have become if I’d been born into his kind of life?” He stared at a stream of people coming from the stairs, trying to see beyond the serious, self-satisfied expressions on their faces. If these ladies and gentlemen were thrown into the pit he had been looking at, would any of them make it out? But trying to picture them in there was too much for him; it was too far—too absurdly far.

One particular couple, a large; fine man and wife, who, in the midst of all the dirt and rumbling hurry, the gloomy, ludicrous, and desperately jovial streets, walked side by side in well-bred silence, had evidently bought some article which pleased them. There was nothing offensive in their manner; they seemed quite unconcerned at the passing of the other people. The man had that fine solidity of shoulder and of waist, the glossy self-possession that belongs to those with horses, guns, and dressing-bags. The wife, her chin comfortably settled in her fur, kept her grey eyes on the ground, and, when she spoke, her even and unruffled voice reached Shelton's ears above all the whirring of the traffic. It was leisurely precise, as if it had never hurried, had never been exhausted, or passionate, or afraid. Their talk, like that of many dozens of fine couples invading London from their country places, was of where to dine, what theatre they should go to, whom they had seen, what they should buy. And Shelton knew that from day's end to end, and even in their bed, these would be the subjects of their conversation. They were the best-bred people of the sort he met in country houses and accepted as of course, with a vague discomfort at the bottom of his soul. Antonia's home, for instance, had been full of them. They were the best-bred people of the sort who supported charities, knew everybody, had clear, calm judgment, and intolerance of all such conduct as seemed to them “impossible,” all breaches of morality, such as mistakes of etiquette, such as dishonesty, passion, sympathy (except with a canonised class of objects—the legitimate sufferings, for instance, of their own families and class). How healthy they were! The memory of the doss-house worked in Shelton's mind like poison. He was conscious that in his own groomed figure, in the undemonstrative assurance of his walk, he bore resemblance to the couple he apostrophised. “Ah!” he thought, “how vulgar our refinement is!” But he hardly believed in his own outburst. These people were so well mannered, so well conducted, and so healthy, he could not really understand what irritated him. What was the matter with them? They fulfilled their duties, had good appetites, clear consciences, all the furniture of perfect citizens; they merely lacked-feelers, a loss that, he had read, was suffered by plants and animals which no longer had a need for using them. Some rare national faculty of seeing only the obvious and materially useful had destroyed their power of catching gleams or scents to right or left.

One couple in particular, a big, well-dressed man and his wife, walked side by side in comfortable silence amid all the dirt and chaos, the gloomy, absurd, and overly cheerful streets. They clearly had bought something that pleased them. There was nothing off-putting about their demeanor; they seemed unfazed by the people rushing by. The man had a solid build with a strong shoulder and waist, exuding the glossy self-assurance typical of those who own horses, guns, and luxurious products. His wife, with her chin snugly resting in her fur, kept her gray eyes focused on the ground; when she spoke, her calm and steady voice carried over the noise of the traffic to Shelton's ears. It was leisurely and precise, as if it had never been rushed, exhausted, passionate, or fearful. Their conversation, like that of many well-to-do couples coming to London from their countryside homes, revolved around what to eat, which theater to visit, whom they'd encountered, and what they should purchase. Shelton realized that from morning to night, and even in their bed, these topics would dominate their discussions. They were the kind of well-bred people he often met in country houses, accepted without question but with a vague discomfort stirring within him. For example, Antonia's home had been filled with such people. They were the well-bred type who supported charities, knew everyone, had clear and calm judgment, and an intolerance for anything they deemed “impossible,” including breaches of etiquette, dishonesty, passion, and sympathy—except for the legitimate suffering of their own families and social class. How healthy they seemed! The memory of the doss-house lingered in Shelton's mind like poison. He was aware that in his well-groomed appearance and the quiet confidence of his stride, he resembled the couple he criticized. “Ah!” he thought, “how vulgar our refinement is!” Yet he hardly believed his own judgment. These people were so well-mannered, disciplined, and healthy that he couldn't quite comprehend what bothered him. What was wrong with them? They fulfilled their responsibilities, had hearty appetites, clear consciences, and all the qualities of exemplary citizens; they simply lacked the ability to empathize, a deficiency he had read was experienced by plants and animals that no longer needed those senses. Some peculiar national trait of seeing only what was obvious and practically useful seemed to have robbed them of their ability to notice anything unusual or insightful around them.

The lady looked up at her husband. The light of quiet, proprietary affection shone in her calm grey eyes, decorously illumining her features slightly reddened by the wind. And the husband looked back at her, calm, practical, protecting. They were very much alike. So doubtless he looked when he presented himself in snowy shirt-sleeves for her to straighten the bow of his white tie; so nightly she would look, standing before the full-length mirror, fixing his gifts upon her bosom. Calm, proprietary, kind! He passed them and walked behind a second less distinguished couple, who manifested a mutual dislike as matter-of-fact and free from nonsense as the unruffled satisfaction of the first; this dislike was just as healthy, and produced in Shelton about the same sensation. It was like knocking at a never-opened door, looking at a circle—couple after couple all the same. No heads, toes, angles of their souls stuck out anywhere. In the sea of their environments they were drowned; no leg braved the air, no arm emerged wet and naked waving at the skies; shop-persons, aristocrats, workmen, officials, they were all respectable. And he himself as respectable as any.

The woman looked up at her husband. The light of quiet, possessive affection shone in her calm gray eyes, gently illuminating her features slightly reddened by the wind. Her husband looked back at her, calm, practical, protective. They were very much alike. He probably looked like this when he presented himself in his white shirt sleeves for her to adjust the bow of his white tie; she looked like this every night, standing in front of the full-length mirror, wearing the gifts he had given her. Calm, possessive, kind! He walked past them and followed behind a second, less impressive couple, who displayed a mutual dislike that was just as straightforward and free from nonsense as the serene satisfaction of the first couple; their dislike was just as healthy and gave Shelton a similar feeling. It was like knocking on a door that had never been opened, looking at a series of couples—one after another, all the same. No heads, toes, or angles of their souls stood out anywhere. In the sea of their surroundings, they were submerged; no leg dared to rise above the water, no arm emerged wet and bare waving at the sky; shop workers, aristocrats, laborers, officials—they were all respectable. And he himself was just as respectable as any of them.

He returned, thus moody, to his rooms and, with the impetuosity which distinguished him when about to do an unwise thing, he seized a pen and poured out before Antonia some of his impressions:

He returned, feeling down, to his room and, with the impulsiveness that often got him into trouble, he grabbed a pen and expressed some of his thoughts to Antonia:

... Mean is the word, darling; we are mean, that's what 's the matter with us, dukes and dustmen, the whole human species—as mean as caterpillars. To secure our own property and our own comfort, to dole out our sympathy according to rule just so that it won't really hurt us, is what we're all after. There's something about human nature that is awfully repulsive, and the healthier people are, the more repulsive they seem to me to be....

... Mean is the word, darling; we are mean, that’s what’s wrong with us, rich and poor, the entire human race—just as mean as caterpillars. To protect our own belongings and our own comfort, to show sympathy only when it’s convenient so it won’t actually hurt us, is what we’re all after. There’s something about human nature that’s really repulsive, and the healthier people are, the more repulsive they seem to me to be....

He paused, biting his pen. Had he one acquaintance who would not counsel him to see a doctor for writing in that style? How would the world go round, how could Society exist, without common-sense, practical ability, and the lack of sympathy?

He paused, biting his pen. Did he have even one friend who wouldn't tell him to see a doctor for writing like that? How would the world keep going, how could society exist, without common sense, practical skills, and a total lack of empathy?

He looked out of the open window. Down in the street a footman was settling the rug over the knees of a lady in a carriage, and the decorous immovability of both their faces, which were clearly visible to him, was like a portion of some well-oiled engine.

He looked out of the open window. Down in the street, a footman was arranging a rug over the knees of a lady in a carriage, and the composed stillness of both their faces, which he could see clearly, resembled part of a smoothly running machine.

He got up and walked up and down. His rooms, in a narrow square skirting Belgravia, were unchanged since the death of his father had made him a man of means. Selected for their centrality, they were furnished in a very miscellaneous way. They were not bare, but close inspection revealed that everything was damaged, more or less, and there was absolutely nothing that seemed to have an interest taken in it. His goods were accidents, presents, or the haphazard acquisitions of a pressing need. Nothing, of course, was frowsy, but everything was somewhat dusty, as if belonging to a man who never rebuked a servant. Above all, there was nothing that indicated hobbies.

He got up and paced back and forth. His rooms, in a narrow square bordering Belgravia, hadn’t changed since his father’s death had made him financially independent. Chosen for their central location, they were furnished in a very random way. They weren’t empty, but a closer look showed that everything was damaged to some degree, and there was nothing that seemed to be cared for. His belongings were accidents, gifts, or the result of urgent needs. Nothing looked shabby, but everything was a bit dusty, as if owned by a man who never scolded a servant. Above all, there was nothing that suggested any hobbies.

Three days later he had her answer to his letter:

Three days later, he got her response to his letter:

. . . I don't think I understand what you mean by “the healthier people are, the more repulsive they seem to be”; one must be healthy to be perfect, must n't one? I don't like unhealthy people. I had to play on that wretched piano after reading your letter; it made me feel unhappy. I've been having a splendid lot of tennis lately, got the back-handed lifting stroke at last—hurrah! . . .

. . . I’m not sure I get what you mean by “the healthier people are, the more repulsive they seem to be”; isn’t it true that you need to be healthy to be perfect? I don’t like unhealthy people. I had to play on that awful piano after reading your letter, and it really brought me down. I’ve been playing a lot of tennis lately and finally got the back-handed lifting stroke—yay! . . .

By the same post, too, came the following note in an autocratic writing:

By the same mail, there also arrived a note in a commanding handwriting:

DEAR BIRD [for this was Shelton's college nickname],

DEAR BIRD [because that was Shelton's college nickname],

My wife has gone down to her people, so I'm 'en garcon' for a few days. If you've nothing better to do, come and dine to-night at seven, and go to the theatre. It's ages since I saw you.

My wife has gone to visit her family, so I'm on my own for a few days. If you don’t have any other plans, come over for dinner tonight at seven, and then we can go to the theater. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you.

Yours as ever,

Always yours,

B. M. HALIDOME.

B. M. HALIDOME.

Shelton had nothing better to do, for pleasant were his friend Halidome's well-appointed dinners. At seven, therefore, he went to Chester Square. His friend was in his study, reading Matthew Arnold by the light of an electric lamp. The walls of the room were hung with costly etchings, arranged with solid and unfailing taste; from the carving of the mantel-piece to the binding of the books, from the miraculously-coloured meerschaums to the chased fire-irons, everything displayed an unpretentious luxury, an order and a finish significant of life completely under rule of thumb. Everything had been collected. The collector rose as Shelton entered, a fine figure of a man, clean shaven,—with dark hair, a Roman nose, good eyes, and the rather weighty dignity of attitude which comes from the assurance that one is in the right.

Shelton had nothing better to do, because his friend Halidome's well-appointed dinners were always enjoyable. So, at seven, he went to Chester Square. His friend was in his study, reading Matthew Arnold by the light of an electric lamp. The walls of the room were adorned with expensive etchings, arranged with solid and reliable taste; from the carving of the mantelpiece to the binding of the books, from the beautifully colored meerschaums to the decorative fire tools, everything showcased a subtle luxury, an order and a finish that suggested a life completely under control. Everything had been collected. The collector stood up as Shelton entered, a striking man, clean-shaven— with dark hair, a Roman nose, good eyes, and a certain weighty dignity that comes from knowing one is in the right.

Taking Shelton by the lapel, he drew him into the radius of the lamp, where he examined him, smiling a slow smile. “Glad to see you, old chap. I rather like your beard,” he said with genial brusqueness; and nothing, perhaps, could better have summed up his faculty for forming independent judgments which Shelton found so admirable. He made no apology for the smallness of the dinner, which, consisting of eight courses and three wines, served by a butler and one footman, smacked of the same perfection as the furniture; in fact, he never apologised for anything, except with a jovial brusqueness that was worse than the offence. The suave and reasonable weight of his dislikes and his approvals stirred Shelton up to feel ironical and insignificant; but whether from a sense of the solid, humane, and healthy quality of his friend's egoism, or merely from the fact that this friendship had been long in bottle, he did not resent his mixed sensations.

Taking Shelton by the lapel, he pulled him into the light of the lamp, where he looked him over, smiling slowly. “Great to see you, old friend. I actually like your beard,” he said with a friendly bluntness; and nothing could better capture his knack for forming independent opinions, which Shelton found so admirable. He didn't apologize for the smallness of the dinner, which, made up of eight courses and three wines, served by a butler and one footman, was just as perfect as the furniture; in fact, he never apologized for anything, except with a cheerful bluntness that was worse than the offense. The smooth and rational weight of his likes and dislikes made Shelton feel ironic and insignificant; but whether it was because of the solid, humane, and healthy nature of his friend's egoism or simply because this friendship had stood the test of time, he didn't mind his mixed feelings.

“By the way, I congratulate you, old chap,” said Halidome, while driving to the theatre; there was no vulgar hurry about his congratulations, no more than about himself. “They're awfully nice people, the Dennants.”

“By the way, I want to congratulate you, my friend,” said Halidome, while driving to the theater; there was no rushed urgency in his congratulations, just like there was none in his demeanor. “The Dennants are really great people.”

A sense of having had a seal put on his choice came over Shelton.

Shelton felt like his decision had been set in stone.

“Where are you going to live? You ought to come down and live near us; there are some ripping houses to be had down there; it's really a ripping neighbourhood. Have you chucked the Bar? You ought to do something, you know; it'll be fatal for you to have nothing to do. I tell you what, Bird: you ought to stand for the County Council.”

“Where are you planning to live? You should come down and live near us; there are some great houses available down there; it’s really a nice neighborhood. Have you quit the Bar? You should do something, you know; it’ll be really harmful for you to have nothing to do. I’ll tell you what, Bird: you should run for the County Council.”

But before Shelton had replied they reached the theatre, and their energies were spent in sidling to their stalls. He had time to pass his neighbours in review before the play began. Seated next to him was a lady with large healthy shoulders, displayed with splendid liberality; beyond her a husband, red-cheeked, with drooping, yellow-grey moustache and a bald head; beyond him again two men whom he had known at Eton. One of them had a clean-shaved face, dark hair, and a weather-tanned complexion; his small mouth with its upper lip pushed out above the lower, his eyelids a little drooped over his watchful eyes, gave him a satirical and resolute expression. “I've got hold of your tail, old fellow,” he seemed to say, as though he were always busy with the catching of some kind of fox. The other's goggling eyes rested on Shelton with a chaffing smile; his thick, sleek hair, brushed with water and parted in the middle, his neat moustache and admirable waistcoat, suggested the sort of dandyism that despises women. From his recognition of these old schoolfellows Shelton turned to look at Halidome, who, having cleared his throat, was staring straight before him at the curtain. Antonia's words kept running in her lover's head, “I don't like unhealthy people.” Well, all these people, anyway, were healthy; they looked as if they had defied the elements to endow them with a spark of anything but health. Just then the curtain rose.

But before Shelton could respond, they arrived at the theater, and their energy was spent maneuvering to their seats. He had a moment to size up his neighbors before the play started. Next to him sat a woman with broad, healthy shoulders, proudly on display; next to her was her husband, red-faced, with a drooping yellow-grey moustache and a bald head; and beyond him were two men he recognized from Eton. One of them had a clean-shaven face, dark hair, and a weather-tanned complexion; his small mouth, with the upper lip jutting out over the lower, and his slightly drooping eyelids over watchful eyes, gave him a satirical and determined look. “I've got hold of your tail, old fellow,” he seemed to say, as if he was always busy catching some sort of fox. The other man's goggling eyes were fixed on Shelton with a teasing smile; his thick, slick hair, combed with water and parted down the middle, along with his neat moustache and sharp waistcoat, suggested a kind of dandyism that looked down on women. After recognizing these old schoolmates, Shelton turned to look at Halidome, who, having cleared his throat, was staring straight ahead at the curtain. Antonia's words kept echoing in his mind, “I don't like unhealthy people.” Well, at least all these folks seemed healthy; they looked as if they had defiantly resisted the elements from giving them a hint of anything but health. Just then, the curtain rose.

Slowly, unwillingly, for he was of a trustful disposition, Shelton recognised that this play was one of those masterpieces of the modern drama whose characters were drawn on the principle that men were made for morals rather than morals made by men, and he watched the play unfold with all its careful sandwiching of grave and gay.

Slowly, and with a sense of reluctance, since he was naturally trusting, Shelton realized that this play was one of those masterpieces of modern drama where the characters were created with the idea that people exist to embody morals rather than morals being created by people. He watched the play unfold, taking in its careful mix of serious and lighthearted moments.

A married woman anxious to be ridded of her husband was the pivot of the story, and a number of scenes, ingeniously contrived, with a hundred reasons why this desire was wrong and inexpedient, were revealed to Shelton's eyes. These reasons issued mainly from the mouth of a well-preserved old gentleman who seemed to play the part of a sort of Moral Salesman. He turned to Halidome and whispered:

A married woman desperate to get rid of her husband was the center of the story, and a series of cleverly constructed scenes unfolded before Shelton, offering countless reasons why this desire was misguided and impractical. Most of these reasons came from a well-preserved old gentleman who acted like a kind of Moral Salesman. He turned to Halidome and whispered:

“Can you stand that old woman?”

“Can you tolerate that old woman?”

His friend fixed his fine eyes on him wonderingly.

His friend looked at him with curiosity.

“What old woman?”

"What grandmother?"

“Why, the old ass with the platitudes!”

“Why, that old fool with the clichés!”

Halidome's countenance grew cold, a little shocked, as though he had been assailed in person.

Halidome's expression turned icy, slightly shocked, as if he had been attacked directly.

“Do you mean Pirbright?” he said. “I think he's ripping.”

“Are you talking about Pirbright?” he said. “I think he's awesome.”

Shelton turned to the play rebuffed; he felt guilty of a breach of manners, sitting as he was in one of his friend's stalls, and he naturally set to work to watch the play more critically than ever. Antonia's words again recurred to him, “I don't like unhealthy people,” and they seemed to throw a sudden light upon this play. It was healthy!

Shelton turned to the play feeling dismissed; he felt guilty for being rude, sitting in one of his friend's seats, and he naturally began to watch the play more critically than ever. Antonia's words came back to him, “I don't like unhealthy people,” and they suddenly shed light on this play. It was healthy!

The scene was a drawing-room, softly lighted by electric lamps, with a cat (Shelton could not decide whether she was real or not) asleep upon the mat.

The scene was a living room, softly lit by electric lamps, with a cat (Shelton couldn’t tell if she was real or not) asleep on the rug.

The husband, a thick-set, healthy man in evening dress, was drinking off neat whisky. He put down his tumbler, and deliberately struck a match; then with even greater deliberation he lit a gold-tipped cigarette....

The husband, a sturdy, fit guy in formal attire, was downing straight whisky. He set down his glass and intentionally struck a match; then, with even more intention, he lit a gold-tipped cigarette....

Shelton was no inexperienced play-goer. He shifted his elbows, for he felt that something was about to happen; and when the match was pitched into the fire, he leaned forward in his seat. The husband poured more whisky out, drank it at a draught, and walked towards the door; then, turning to the audience as if to admit them to the secret of some tremendous resolution, he puffed at them a puff of smoke. He left the room, returned, and once more filled his glass. A lady now entered, pale of face and dark of eye—his wife. The husband crossed the stage, and stood before the fire, his legs astride, in the attitude which somehow Shelton had felt sure he would assume. He spoke:

Shelton was no novice when it came to theater. He adjusted his elbows because he sensed something was about to happen; when the match was tossed into the fire, he leaned forward in his seat. The husband poured more whiskey, downed it in one go, and walked towards the door. Then, turning to the audience as if to share the secret of some significant decision, he blew a puff of smoke at them. He left the room, came back, and filled his glass again. A woman entered now, her face pale and eyes dark—his wife. The husband crossed the stage and stood in front of the fire, legs apart, in a stance that Shelton had somehow been sure he would take. He spoke:

“Come in, and shut the door.”

“Come in and close the door.”

Shelton suddenly perceived that he was face to face with one of those dumb moments in which two people declare their inextinguishable hatred—the hatred underlying the sexual intimacy of two ill-assorted creatures—and he was suddenly reminded of a scene he had once witnessed in a restaurant. He remembered with extreme minuteness how the woman and the man had sat facing each other across the narrow patch of white, emblazoned by a candle with cheap shades and a thin green vase with yellow flowers. He remembered the curious scornful anger of their voices, subdued so that only a few words reached him. He remembered the cold loathing in their eyes. And, above all, he remembered his impression that this sort of scene happened between them every other day, and would continue so to happen; and as he put on his overcoat and paid his bill he had asked himself, “Why in the name of decency do they go on living together?” And now he thought, as he listened to the two players wrangling on the stage: “What 's the good of all this talk? There's something here past words.”

Shelton suddenly realized he was confronted with one of those silent moments where two people express their deep-seated hatred—the kind that exists beneath the sexual connection of two mismatched individuals—and it reminded him of a scene he had once observed in a restaurant. He recalled vividly how the woman and man had sat facing each other across a small white table, lit by a cheap-shaded candle and a slender green vase with yellow flowers. He remembered the oddly scornful anger in their voices, quiet enough that only a few words reached him. He remembered the cold disgust in their eyes. Most of all, he remembered his feeling that this kind of scene happened between them every other day and would continue to do so; as he put on his coat and settled his bill, he wondered, “Why on earth do they keep living together?” And now he thought, as he listened to the two actors bickering on stage: “What’s the point of all this talk? There’s something here beyond words.”

The curtain came down upon the act, and he looked at the lady next him. She was shrugging her shoulders at her husband, whose face was healthy and offended.

The curtain fell on the act, and he turned to the woman next to him. She was shrugging her shoulders at her husband, whose face looked healthy but upset.

“I do dislike these unhealthy women,” he was saying, but catching Shelton's eye he turned square in his seat and sniffed ironically.

“I really can't stand these unhealthy women,” he was saying, but catching Shelton's eye, he turned to face him and sniffed sarcastically.

The face of Shelton's friend beyond, composed, satirical as ever, was clothed with a mask of scornful curiosity, as if he had been listening to something that had displeased him not a little. The goggle-eyed man was yawning. Shelton turned to Halidome:

The face of Shelton's friend beyond, composed and as sarcastic as ever, wore a mask of scornful curiosity, as if he had been listening to something that annoyed him quite a bit. The man with bulging eyes was yawning. Shelton turned to Halidome:

“Can you stand this sort of thing?” said he.

“Can you handle this kind of thing?” he asked.

“No; I call that scene a bit too hot,” replied his friend.

“No way; I think that scene is a bit too intense,” replied his friend.

Shelton wriggled; he had meant to say it was not hot enough.

Shelton squirmed; he meant to say it wasn’t hot enough.

“I'll bet you anything,” he said, “I know what's going to happen now. You'll have that old ass—what's his name?—lunching off cutlets and champagne to fortify himself—for a lecture to the wife. He'll show her how unhealthy her feelings are—I know him—and he'll take her hand and say, 'Dear lady, is there anything in this poor world but the good opinion of Society?' and he'll pretend to laugh at himself for saying it; but you'll see perfectly well that the old woman means it. And then he'll put her into a set of circumstances that are n't her own but his version of them, and show her the only way of salvation is to kiss her husband”; and Shelton grinned. “Anyway, I'll bet you anything he takes her hand and says, 'Dear lady.'.rdquo;

“I'll bet you anything,” he said, “I know what's going to happen next. That old guy—what's his name?—will be having lunch with cutlets and champagne to prepare for a talk with his wife. He'll tell her how unhealthy her feelings are—I know him—and he'll take her hand and say, 'Dear lady, is there anything in this world that matters more than the good opinion of Society?' and he'll pretend to laugh at himself for saying it; but you'll see clearly that the old woman believes it. Then he'll put her in a situation that's not hers but his version of it, and show her the only way to salvation is to kiss her husband”; and Shelton grinned. “Anyway, I’d bet anything he takes her hand and says, 'Dear lady.'”

Halidome turned on him the disapproval of his eyes, and again he said,

Halidome gave him a disapproving look and said again,

“I think Pirbright 's ripping!”

“I think Pirbright is awesome!”

But as Shelton had predicted, so it turned out, amidst great applause.

But as Shelton had predicted, it turned out, to loud applause.





CHAPTER V

THE GOOD CITIZEN

Leaving the theatre, they paused a moment in the hall to don their coats; a stream of people with spotless bosoms eddied round the doors, as if in momentary dread of leaving this hothouse of false morals and emotions for the wet, gusty streets, where human plants thrive and die, human weeds flourish and fade under the fresh, impartial skies. The lights revealed innumerable solemn faces, gleamed innumerably on jewels, on the silk of hats, then passed to whiten a pavement wet with newly-fallen rain, to flare on horses, on the visages of cabmen, and stray, queer objects that do not bear the light.

Leaving the theater, they paused for a moment in the hall to put on their coats; a crowd of people in pristine outfits swirled around the doors, as if briefly afraid to step out of this stuffy place filled with false morals and emotions into the rainy, windy streets, where people thrive and perish, and the unrefined flourish and fade under the fresh, unbiased sky. The lights illuminated countless serious faces, sparkled on jewels, and shone on the silk of hats, then moved to brighten a pavement slick with newly-fallen rain, to glimmer on horses, the faces of cab drivers, and strange, unusual objects that don’t reflect the light.

“Shall we walk?” asked Halidome.

"Shall we go for a walk?" asked Halidome.

“Has it ever struck you,” answered Shelton, “that in a play nowadays there's always a 'Chorus of Scandalmongers' which seems to have acquired the attitude of God?”

“Has it ever occurred to you,” replied Shelton, “that in a play today there's always a 'Chorus of Scandalmongers' that seems to have taken on the attitude of God?”

Halidome cleared his throat, and there was something portentous in the sound.

Halidome cleared his throat, and there was something ominous in the sound.

“You're so d—-d fastidious,” was his answer.

“You're so damn picky,” was his answer.

“I've a prejudice for keeping the two things separate,” went on Shelton. “That ending makes me sick.”

“I have a bias toward keeping the two things separate,” Shelton continued. “That ending makes me feel nauseous.”

“Why?” replied Halidome. “What other end is possible? You don't want a play to leave you with a bad taste in your mouth.”

“Why?” replied Halidome. “What other outcome is there? You don’t want a play to leave you feeling unsatisfied.”

“But this does.”

“But this does matter.”

Halidome increased his stride, already much too long; for in his walk, as in all other phases of his life, he found it necessary to be in front.

Halidome picked up his pace, already much too long; in his walk, as in every other part of his life, he felt it was essential to be ahead.

“How do you mean?” he asked urbanely; “it's better than the woman making a fool of herself.”

“How do you mean?” he asked smoothly; “it's better than the woman embarrassing herself.”

“I'm thinking of the man.”

“I'm thinking about the guy.”

“What man?”

"What guy?"

“The husband.”

“The partner.”

“What 's the matter with him? He was a bit of a bounder, certainly.”

“What’s wrong with him? He was definitely a bit of a jerk.”

“I can't understand any man wanting to live with a woman who doesn't want him.”

“I can’t understand why any guy would want to be with a woman who doesn’t want him.”

Some note of battle in Shelton's voice, rather than the sentiment itself, caused his friend to reply with dignity:

Some hint of conflict in Shelton's voice, rather than the actual emotion, made his friend respond with dignity:

“There's a lot of nonsense talked about that sort of thing. Women don't really care; it's only what's put into their heads.”

“There's a lot of nonsense talked about that kind of thing. Women don't really care; it's just what's put into their heads.”

“That's much the same as saying to a starving man: 'You don't really want anything; it's only what's put into your head!' You are begging the question, my friend.”

“That's basically the same as telling a starving person: 'You don't really want anything; it's just what's in your head!' You're avoiding the main issue, my friend.”

But nothing was more calculated to annoy Halidome than to tell him he was “begging the question,” for he prided himself on being strong in logic.

But nothing annoyed Halidome more than being told he was "begging the question," because he took pride in being skilled in logic.

“That be d—-d,” he said.

“D—-d that,” he said.

“Not at all, old chap. Here is a case where a woman wants her freedom, and you merely answer that she dogs n't want it.”

“Not at all, dude. Here’s a situation where a woman wants her freedom, and you just say that she doesn’t want it.”

“Women like that are impossible; better leave them out of court.”

“Women like that are impossible; it’s better to keep them out of court.”

Shelton pondered this and smiled; he had recollected an acquaintance of his own, who, when his wife had left him, invented the theory that she was mad, and this struck him now as funny. But then he thought: “Poor devil! he was bound to call her mad! If he didn't, it would be confessing himself distasteful; however true, you can't expect a man to consider himself that.” But a glance at his friend's eye warned him that he, too, might think his wife mad in such a case.

Shelton thought about this and smiled; he remembered a friend of his who, when his wife left him, came up with the idea that she was crazy, and that seemed funny to him now. But then he thought, “Poor guy! He had to call her crazy! If he didn't, it would mean admitting he’s unlikable; no matter how true that may be, you can’t expect a guy to think of himself that way.” But a glance at his friend’s eye made him realize that he might also think his wife was crazy in a similar situation.

“Surely,” he said, “even if she's his wife, a man's bound to behave like a gentleman.”

“Of course,” he said, “even if she's his wife, a guy should act like a gentleman.”

“Depends on whether she behaves like a lady.”

“Depends on whether she acts like a lady.”

“Does it? I don't see the connection.”

“Does it? I don't see how that relates.”

Halidome paused in the act of turning the latch-key in his door; there was a rather angry smile in his fine eyes.

Halidome stopped just as he was about to turn the key in his door; there was a slightly annoyed smile in his striking eyes.

“My dear chap,” he said, “you're too sentimental altogether.”

“My dear friend,” he said, “you're being way too sentimental.”

The word “sentimental” nettled Shelton. “A gentleman either is a gentleman or he is n't; what has it to do with the way other people behave?”

The word “sentimental” irritated Shelton. “A gentleman is either a gentleman or he isn’t; what does it have to do with how other people act?”

Halidome turned the key in the lock and opened the door into his hall, where the firelight fell on the decanters and huge chairs drawn towards the blaze.

Halidome turned the key in the lock and opened the door into his hall, where the firelight illuminated the decanters and large chairs positioned around the fire.

“No, Bird,” he said, resuming his urbanity, and gathering his coat-tails in his hands; “it's all very well to talk, but wait until you're married. A man must be master, and show it, too.”

“No, Bird,” he said, regaining his composure and gathering his coat-tails in his hands; “it's easy to chat about this, but just wait until you’re married. A man has to be in charge and make sure everyone knows it.”

An idea occurred to Shelton.

Shelton had an idea.

“Look here, Hal,” he said: “what should you do if your wife got tired of you?”

“Hey, Hal,” he said, “what would you do if your wife got tired of you?”

The expression on Halidome's face was a mixture of amusement and contempt.

The look on Halidome's face was a mix of amusement and disdain.

“I don't mean anything personal, of course, but apply the situation to yourself.”

“I don't mean anything personal, of course, but think about how this relates to you.”

Halidome took out a toothpick, used it brusquely, and responded:

Halidome pulled out a toothpick, used it roughly, and replied:

“I shouldn't stand any humbug—take her travelling; shake her mind up. She'd soon come round.”

“I shouldn’t put up with any nonsense—take her on a trip; give her a change of scenery. She’d come around in no time.”

“But suppose she really loathed you?”

“But what if she actually hated you?”

Halidome cleared his throat; the idea was so obviously indecent. How could anybody loathe him? With great composure, however, regarding Shelton as if he were a forward but amusing child, he answered:

Halidome cleared his throat; the idea was so obviously inappropriate. How could anyone hate him? Yet, maintaining his composure and regarding Shelton as if he were an overly bold but entertaining child, he responded:

“There are a great many things to be taken into consideration.”

“There are a lot of things to consider.”

“It appears to me,” said Shelton, “to be a question of common pride. How can you, ask anything of a woman who doesn't want to give it.”

“It seems to me,” said Shelton, “that it’s a matter of simple pride. How can you ask anything of a woman who doesn’t want to give it?”

His friend's voice became judicial.

His friend's voice turned formal.

“A man ought not to suffer,” he said, poring over his whisky, “because a woman gets hysteria. You have to think of Society, your children, house, money arrangements, a thousand things. It's all very well to talk. How do you like this whisky?”

“A man shouldn’t have to suffer,” he said, staring at his whisky, “just because a woman has hysteria. You need to consider Society, your kids, the house, financial arrangements, a hundred different things. It’s easy to talk. So, how do you like this whisky?”

“The part of the good citizen, in fact,” said Shelton, “self-preservation!”

“The role of a good citizen, in fact,” said Shelton, “is self-preservation!”

“Common-sense,” returned his friend; “I believe in justice before sentiment.” He drank, and callously blew smoke at Shelton. “Besides, there are many people with religious views about it.”

“Common sense,” his friend replied. “I believe in justice over feelings.” He took a drink and carelessly blew smoke at Shelton. “Plus, there are a lot of people with strong religious beliefs about it.”

“It's always seemed to me,” said Shelton, “to be quaint that people should assert that marriage gives them the right to 'an eye for an eye,' and call themselves Christians. Did you ever know anybody stand on their rights except out of wounded pride or for the sake of their own comfort? Let them call their reasons what they like, you know as well as I do that it's cant.”

“It's always struck me as odd,” said Shelton, “that people claim marriage gives them the right to 'an eye for an eye' and call themselves Christians. Have you ever seen someone insist on their rights unless it’s out of hurt pride or for their own comfort? They can label their reasons however they want, but you know as well as I do that it's just nonsense.”

“I don't know about that,” said Halidome, more and more superior as Shelton grew more warm; “when you stand on your rights, you do it for the sake of Society as well as for your own. If you want to do away with marriage, why don't you say so?”

“I don't know about that,” said Halidome, feeling increasingly superior as Shelton became more heated. “When you stand up for your rights, you do it for society as well as for yourself. If you want to get rid of marriage, why don’t you just say it?”

“But I don't,” said Shelton, “is it likely? Why, I'm going—” He stopped without adding the words “to be married myself,” for it suddenly occurred to him that the reason was not the most lofty and philosophic in the world. “All I can say is,” he went on soberly, “that you can't make a horse drink by driving him. Generosity is the surest way of tightening the knot with people who've any sense of decency; as to the rest, the chief thing is to prevent their breeding.”

“But I don't,” said Shelton, “is that even possible? I mean, I'm—” He paused, leaving out the words “going to get married myself,” because it hit him that his reasoning wasn't exactly the most noble or philosophical. “All I can say is,” he continued seriously, “you can't force a horse to drink by pushing it. Being generous is the best way to build connections with people who have any decency; as for the others, the main thing is to stop them from reproducing.”

Halidome smiled.

Halidome smiled.

“You're a rum chap,” he said.

“You're a strange guy,” he said.

Shelton jerked his cigarette into the fire.

Shelton tossed his cigarette into the fire.

“I tell you what”—for late at night a certain power of vision came to him—“it's humbug to talk of doing things for the sake of Society; it's nothing but the instinct to keep our own heads above the water.”

“I'll tell you something”—late at night, he felt a certain clarity—“it's nonsense to say we're doing things for Society; it's really just the instinct to keep ourselves afloat.”

But Halidome remained unruffled.

But Halidome stayed calm.

“All right,” he said, “call it that. I don't see why I should go to the wall; it wouldn't do any good.”

“All right,” he said, “let's call it that. I don’t see why I should take the blame; it wouldn’t help at all.”

“You admit, then,” said Shelton, “that our morality is the sum total of everybody's private instinct of self-preservation?”

“You admit, then,” said Shelton, “that our morality is just the collective instinct of everyone trying to protect themselves?”

Halidome stretched his splendid frame and yawned.

Halidome stretched out his impressive body and yawned.

“I don't know,” he began, “that I should quite call it that—”

“I’m not sure,” he started, “if I should really call it that—”

But the compelling complacency of his fine eyes, the dignified posture of his healthy body, the lofty slope of his narrow forehead, the perfectly humane look of his cultivated brutality, struck Shelton as ridiculous.

But the striking self-satisfaction in his beautiful eyes, the dignified stance of his fit body, the elegant curve of his narrow forehead, and the oddly refined expression of his cultivated toughness seemed ridiculous to Shelton.

“Hang it, Hall” he cried, jumping from his chair, “what an old fraud you are! I'll be off.”

“Damn it, Hall,” he shouted, jumping out of his chair, “what a total fraud you are! I’m leaving.”

“No, look here!” said Halidome; the faintest shade of doubt had appeared upon his face; he took Shelton by a lapel: “You're quite wrong—”

“No, look here!” said Halidome; the slightest hint of doubt had crossed his face; he grabbed Shelton by the lapel: “You're totally wrong—”

“Very likely; good-night, old chap!”

“Definitely; goodnight, buddy!”

Shelton walked home, letting the spring wind into him. It was Saturday, and he passed many silent couples. In every little patch of shadow he could see two forms standing or sitting close together, and in their presence Words the Impostors seemed to hold their tongues. The wind rustled the buds; the stars, one moment bright as diamonds, vanished the next. In the lower streets a large part of the world was under the influence of drink, but by this Shelton was far from being troubled. It seemed better than Drama, than dressing-bagged men, unruffled women, and padded points of view, better than the immaculate solidity of his friend's possessions.

Shelton walked home, feeling the spring wind around him. It was Saturday, and he passed many quiet couples. In every little patch of shadow, he could see two figures standing or sitting close together, and in their presence, Words the Impostors seemed to be quiet. The wind stirred the buds; the stars, bright as diamonds one moment, disappeared the next. On the lower streets, a large part of the world was drunk, but Shelton wasn’t bothered by it at all. It seemed better than Drama, better than flashy men, composed women, and inflated opinions, better than the neat, perfect things his friend owned.

“So,” he reflected, “it's right for every reason, social, religious, and convenient, to inflict one's society where it's not desired. There are obviously advantages about the married state; charming to feel respectable while you're acting in a way that in any other walk of life would bring on you contempt. If old Halidome showed that he was tired of me, and I continued to visit him, he'd think me a bit of a cad; but if his wife were to tell him she couldn't stand him, he'd still consider himself a perfect gentleman if he persisted in giving her the burden of his society; and he has the cheek to bring religion into it—a religion that says, 'Do unto others!'.rdquo;

“So,” he thought, “it’s perfectly acceptable for all sorts of reasons—social, religious, and practical—to impose your company on someone who doesn’t want it. Clearly, there are benefits to being married; it’s nice to feel respectable while behaving in a way that would get you scorned in any other situation. If old Halidome showed he was tired of me and I kept visiting him, he’d think I was a bit of a jerk; but if his wife told him she couldn’t stand him, he’d still see himself as a true gentleman if he kept forcing his company on her. And he has the nerve to bring religion into it—a religion that says, ‘Treat others how you want to be treated!’.”

But in this he was unjust to Halidome, forgetting how impossible it was for him to believe that a woman could not stand him. He reached his rooms, and, the more freely to enjoy the clear lamplight, the soft, gusty breeze, and waning turmoil of the streets, waited a moment before entering.

But in this, he was unfair to Halidome, ignoring how unlikely it was for him to believe that a woman couldn't stand him. He got to his rooms and, wanting to fully enjoy the bright lamplight, the gentle, breezy air, and the fading chaos of the streets, paused for a moment before going in.

“I wonder,” thought he, “if I shall turn out a cad when I marry, like that chap in the play. It's natural. We all want our money's worth, our pound of flesh! Pity we use such fine words—'Society, Religion, Morality.' Humbug!”

“I wonder,” he thought, “if I’ll end up being a jerk when I marry, like that guy in the play. It’s normal. We all want to get our money’s worth, our pound of flesh! It’s a shame we use such fancy words—‘Society, Religion, Morality.’ Nonsense!”

He went in, and, throwing his window open, remained there a long time, his figure outlined against the lighted room for the benefit of the dark square below, his hands in his pockets, his head down, a reflective frown about his eyes. A half-intoxicated old ruffian, a policeman, and a man in a straw hat had stopped below, and were holding a palaver.

He went inside, and, throwing open his window, stayed there for a long time, his silhouette visible against the lit room for the benefit of the dark square below, his hands in his pockets, his head down, a thoughtful frown on his face. A slightly drunk old troublemaker, a policeman, and a guy in a straw hat had gathered below, having a chat.

“Yus,” the old ruffian said, “I'm a rackety old blank; but what I say is, if we wus all alike, this would n't be a world!”

“Yeah,” the old rogue said, “I’m a noisy old fool; but what I’m saying is, if we were all the same, this wouldn’t be a world!”

They went their way, and before the listener's eyes there rose Antonia's face, with its unruffled brow; Halidome's, all health and dignity; the forehead of the goggle-eyed man, with its line of hair parted in the centre, and brushed across. A light seemed to illumine the plane of their existence, as the electric lamp with the green shade had illumined the pages of the Matthew Arnold; serene before Shelton's vision lay that Elysium, untouched by passion or extremes of any kind, autocratic; complacent, possessive, and well-kept as any Midland landscape. Healthy, wealthy, wise! No room but for perfection, self-preservation, the survival of the fittest! “The part of the good citizen,” he thought: “no, if we were all alike, this would n't be a world!”

They went on their way, and before the listener's eyes appeared Antonia's face, with its calm brow; Halidome's, full of health and dignity; the forehead of the goggle-eyed man, with its hair parted in the middle and brushed over. A light seemed to brighten their existence, just like the electric lamp with the green shade had brightened the pages of Matthew Arnold; serene before Shelton's vision lay that paradise, untouched by passion or extremes of any kind, in control; satisfied, possessive, and well-kept like any Midland landscape. Healthy, wealthy, wise! Only room for perfection, self-preservation, the survival of the fittest! “The role of a good citizen,” he thought: “no, if we were all the same, this wouldn't be a world!”





CHAPTER VI

MARRIAGE SETTLEMENT

“My dear Richard” (wrote Shelton's uncle the next day), “I shall be glad to see you at three o'clock to-morrow afternoon upon the question of your marriage settlement....” At that hour accordingly Shelton made his way to Lincoln's Inn Fields, where in fat black letters the names “Paramor and Herring (Commissioners for Oaths)” were written on the wall of a stone entrance. He ascended the solid steps with nervousness, and by a small red-haired boy was introduced to a back room on the first floor. Here, seated at a table in the very centre, as if he thereby better controlled his universe, a pug-featured gentleman, without a beard, was writing. He paused. “Ow, Mr. Richard!” he said; “glad to see you, sir. Take a chair. Your uncle will be disengaged in 'arf a minute”; and in the tone of his allusion to his employer was the satirical approval that comes with long and faithful service. “He will do everything himself,” he went on, screwing up his sly, greenish, honest eyes, “and he 's not a young man.”

“My dear Richard,” wrote Shelton's uncle the next day, “I look forward to seeing you tomorrow afternoon at three o'clock regarding your marriage settlement....” At that appointed time, Shelton made his way to Lincoln's Inn Fields, where the names “Paramor and Herring (Commissioners for Oaths)” were displayed in bold black letters on the wall of a stone entrance. He climbed the sturdy steps with a bit of anxiety and was introduced to a back room on the first floor by a small red-haired boy. There, seated at a table right in the center as if he could better manage his world that way, was a pug-nosed gentleman without a beard who was writing. He stopped. “Oh, Mr. Richard!” he said, “good to see you, sir. Please have a seat. Your uncle will be free in half a minute.” The way he mentioned his boss hinted at the ironic approval that comes from years of dedicated service. “He’ll handle everything himself,” he continued, squinting his sly, greenish, honest eyes, “and he’s not a young man.”

Shelton never saw his uncle's clerk without marvelling at the prosperity deepening upon his face. In place of the look of harassment which on most faces begins to grow after the age of fifty, his old friend's countenance, as though in sympathy with the nation, had expanded—a little greasily, a little genially, a little coarsely—every time he met it. A contemptuous tolerance for people who were not getting on was spreading beneath its surface; it left each time a deeper feeling that its owner could never be in the wrong.

Shelton never saw his uncle's clerk without being amazed by the prosperity that was evident on his face. Instead of the look of stress that usually begins to appear on most faces after fifty, his old friend's expression, as if reflecting the nation's mood, had grown—a bit shiny, a bit friendly, a bit rough—every time they met. Underneath, there was a dismissive attitude toward those who weren’t succeeding, leaving a stronger impression each time that its owner could never be at fault.

“I hope you're well, sir,” he resumed: “most important for you to have your health now you're going-to”—and, feeling for the delicate way to put it, he involuntarily winked—“to become a family man. We saw it in the paper. My wife said to me the other morning at breakfast: 'Bob, here's a Mr. Richard Paramor Shelton goin' to be married. Is that any relative of your Mr. Shelton?' 'My dear,' I said to her, 'it's the very man!'.rdquo;

“I hope you’re doing well, sir,” he continued. “It’s really important for you to take care of your health now that you’re about to—” and, searching for a gentle way to say it, he accidentally winked—“become a family man. We saw it in the newspaper. My wife said to me the other morning at breakfast, ‘Bob, look at this Mr. Richard Paramor Shelton who’s getting married. Is he any relative of your Mr. Shelton?’ ‘My dear,’ I told her, ‘it’s the exact same guy!’”

It disquieted Shelton to perceive that his old friend did not pass the whole of his life at that table writing in the centre of the room, but that somewhere (vistas of little grey houses rose before his eyes) he actually lived another life where someone called him “Bob.” Bob! And this, too, was a revelation. Bob! Why, of course, it was the only name for him! A bell rang.

It troubled Shelton to realize that his old friend didn't spend all his time at that table writing in the middle of the room, but that somewhere (visions of little grey houses appeared in his mind) he actually lived a different life where someone called him “Bob.” Bob! This was eye-opening. Bob! Of course, that was the perfect name for him! A bell rang.

“That's your uncle”; and again the head clerk's voice sounded ironical. “Good-bye, sir.”

“That's your uncle,” the head clerk said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Goodbye, sir.”

He seemed to clip off intercourse as one clips off electric light. Shelton left him writing, and preceded the red-haired boy to an enormous room in the front where his uncle waited.

He seemed to cut off conversation like one switches off a light. Shelton left him writing and went ahead of the red-haired boy to a huge room in the front where his uncle was waiting.

Edmund Paramor was a medium-sized and upright man of seventy, whose brown face was perfectly clean-shaven. His grey, silky hair was brushed in a cock's comb from his fine forehead, bald on the left side. He stood before the hearth facing the room, and his figure had the springy abruptness of men who cannot fatten. There was a certain youthfulness, too, in his eyes, yet they had a look as though he had been through fire; and his mouth curled at the corners in surprising smiles. The room was like the man—morally large, void of red-tape and almost void of furniture; no tin boxes were ranged against the walls, no papers littered up the table; a single bookcase contained a complete edition of the law reports, and resting on the Law Directory was a single red rose in a glass of water. It looked the room of one with a sober magnanimity, who went to the heart of things, despised haggling, and before whose smiles the more immediate kinds of humbug faded.

Edmund Paramor was a medium-sized, upright man in his seventies, with a clean-shaven brown face. His gray, silky hair was styled in a cock's comb from his fine forehead, which was bald on the left side. He stood in front of the hearth, facing the room, with a springy, abrupt posture typical of men who can't gain weight. Although there was a certain youthfulness in his eyes, they also carried a look as though he had been through fire; and his mouth curled into surprising smiles. The room reflected the man—spacious and free of red tape, almost devoid of furniture; there were no tin boxes against the walls, no papers cluttering the table; just a single bookcase containing a complete collection of law reports, and on the Law Directory rested a single red rose in a glass of water. It looked like the space of someone with serious generosity, who got to the heart of issues, dismissed petty arguments, and where the more trivial forms of deception faded away in the light of his smiles.

“Well, Dick,” said he, “how's your mother?”

“Well, Dick,” he said, “how’s your mom?”

Shelton replied that his mother was all right.

Shelton replied that his mom was doing okay.

“Tell her that I'm going to sell her Easterns after all, and put into this Brass thing. You can say it's safe, from me.”

“Tell her that I’m going to sell her Easterns after all and put them into this Brass thing. You can say it’s safe with me.”

Shelton made a face.

Shelton grimaced.

“Mother,” said he, “always believes things are safe.”

“Mom,” he said, “always thinks everything is safe.”

His uncle looked through him with his keen, half-suffering glance, and up went the corners of his mouth.

His uncle looked right through him with his sharp, somewhat pained gaze, and the corners of his mouth lifted.

“She's splendid,” he said.

"She's amazing," he said.

“Yes,” said Shelton, “splendid.”

“Yeah,” said Shelton, “great.”

The transaction, however, did not interest him; his uncle's judgment in such matters had a breezy soundness he would never dream of questioning.

The transaction, however, didn't interest him; his uncle's judgment on these things had a refreshing sense of reliability that he would never think to question.

“Well, about your settlement”; and, touching a bell three times, Mr. Paramor walked up and down the room. “Bring me the draft of Mr. Richard's marriage settlement.”

“Well, about your settlement,” Mr. Paramor said, as he touched a bell three times and walked up and down the room. “Bring me the draft of Mr. Richard's marriage settlement.”

The stalwart commissionaire reappearing with a document—“Now then, Dick,” said Mr. Paramor. “She 's not bringing anything into settlement, I understand; how 's that?”

The tough commissionaire came back with a document. "Alright, Dick," said Mr. Paramor. "I hear she's not offering anything to settle; what's going on with that?"

“I did n't want it,” replied Shelton, unaccountably ashamed.

"I didn't want it," Shelton replied, feeling inexplicably ashamed.

Mr. Paramor's lips quivered; he drew the draft closer, took up a blue pencil, and, squeezing Shelton's arm, began to read. The latter, following his uncle's rapid exposition of the clauses, was relieved when he paused suddenly.

Mr. Paramor's lips trembled; he pulled the draft closer, picked up a blue pencil, and, gripping Shelton's arm, started to read. Shelton, following his uncle's quick explanation of the clauses, felt relieved when he suddenly stopped.

“If you die and she marries again,” said Mr. Paramor, “she forfeits her life interest—see?”

“If you die and she gets married again,” said Mr. Paramor, “she loses her right to the assets—got it?”

“Oh!” said Shelton; “wait a minute, Uncle Ted.”

“Oh!” said Shelton. “Hold on a second, Uncle Ted.”

Mr. Paramor waited, biting his pencil; a smile flickered on his mouth, and was decorously subdued. It was Shelton's turn to walk about.

Mr. Paramor waited, chewing on his pencil; a smile appeared briefly on his lips, then was politely suppressed. It was Shelton's turn to pace.

“If she marries again,” he repeated to himself.

“If she gets married again,” he repeated to himself.

Mr. Paramor was a keen fisherman; he watched his nephew as he might have watched a fish he had just landed.

Mr. Paramor was an enthusiastic fisherman; he looked at his nephew the way he would look at a fish he had just caught.

“It's very usual,” he remarked.

“It’s very common,” he remarked.

Shelton took another turn.

Shelton made another turn.

“She forfeits,” thought he; “exactly.”

"She gives up," he thought; "exactly."

When he was dead, he would have no other way of seeing that she continued to belong to him. Exactly!

When he's dead, he won't have any other way of knowing that she still belongs to him. Exactly!

Mr. Paramor's haunting eyes were fastened on his nephew's face.

Mr. Paramor's intense gaze was fixed on his nephew's face.

“Well, my dear,” they seemed to say, “what 's the matter?”

“Well, my dear,” they seemed to say, “what's wrong?”

Exactly! Why should she have his money if she married again? She would forfeit it. There was comfort in the thought. Shelton came back and carefully reread the clause, to put the thing on a purely business basis, and disguise the real significance of what was passing in his mind.

Exactly! Why should she get his money if she remarried? She would lose it. That thought was comforting. Shelton returned and went over the clause again, trying to make it all seem strictly business and hide what he was really thinking.

“If I die and she marries again,” he repeated aloud, “she forfeits.”

“If I die and she gets married again,” he said out loud, “she loses everything.”

What wiser provision for a man passionately in love could possibly have been devised? His uncle's eye travelled beyond him, humanely turning from the last despairing wriggles of his fish.

What better arrangement for a man deeply in love could have been created? His uncle's gaze moved past him, kindly shifting away from the last desperate struggles of his fish.

“I don't want to tie her,” said Shelton suddenly.

“I don’t want to tie her up,” Shelton said abruptly.

The corners of Mr. Paramour's mouth flew up.

The corners of Mr. Paramour's mouth lifted.

“You want the forfeiture out?” he asked.

“You want to cancel the forfeiture?” he asked.

The blood rushed into Shelton's face; he felt he had been detected in a piece of sentiment.

The blood rushed to Shelton's face; he felt like he had been caught in an emotional moment.

“Ye-es,” he stammered.

"Yeah," he stammered.

“Sure?”

"Really?"

“Quite!” The answer was a little sulky.

“Totally!” The response was a bit grumpy.

Her uncle's pencil descended on the clause, and he resumed the reading of the draft, but Shelton could not follow it; he was too much occupied in considering exactly why Mr. Paramor had been amused, and to do this he was obliged to keep his eyes upon him. Those features, just pleasantly rugged; the springy poise of the figure; the hair neither straight nor curly, neither short nor long; the haunting look of his eyes and the humorous look of his mouth; his clothes neither shabby nor dandified; his serviceable, fine hands; above all, the equability of the hovering blue pencil, conveyed the impression of a perfect balance between heart and head, sensibility and reason, theory and its opposite.

Her uncle's pencil moved across the clause, and he continued reading the draft, but Shelton couldn't keep up; he was too busy trying to figure out why Mr. Paramor was amused, and to do that, he had to keep his eyes on him. Those features, just rugged enough; the energetic stance; the hair that was neither straight nor curly, neither short nor long; the compelling look in his eyes and the funny expression on his mouth; his clothes that were neither shabby nor overly fancy; his practical, elegant hands; above all, the steady movement of the blue pencil, gave off an impression of perfect balance between emotion and logic, sensitivity and reason, theory and its opposite.

“'During coverture,'.rdquo; quoted Mr. Paramor, pausing again, “you understand, of course, if you don't get on, and separate, she goes on taking?”

“'During coverture,'” quoted Mr. Paramor, pausing again, “you understand, of course, if you don't get along and separate, she continues to receive?”

If they didn't get on! Shelton smiled. Mr. Paramor did not smile, and again Shelton had the sense of having knocked up against something poised but firm. He remarked irritably:

If they didn't get along! Shelton smiled. Mr. Paramor didn’t smile, and again Shelton felt like he had bumped into something steady yet unyielding. He said irritably:

“If we 're not living together, all the more reason for her having it.”

“If we’re not living together, that just makes it even more important for her to have it.”

This time his uncle smiled. It was difficult for Shelton to feel angry at that ironic merriment, with its sudden ending; it was too impersonal to irritate: it was too concerned with human nature.

This time his uncle smiled. It was hard for Shelton to feel angry at that ironic amusement, especially with its sudden end; it was too detached to annoy him: it was too focused on human nature.

“If—hum—it came to the other thing,” said Mr. Paramor, “the settlement's at an end as far as she 's concerned. We 're bound to look at every case, you know, old boy.”

“If—um—it came to that,” said Mr. Paramor, “the settlement is over as far as she's concerned. We have to consider every case, you know, my friend.”

The memory of the play and his conversation with Halidome was still strong in Shelton. He was not one of those who could not face the notion of transferred affections—at a safe distance.

The memory of the play and his conversation with Halidome was still fresh in Shelton's mind. He was not someone who couldn’t handle the idea of transferred feelings—at a safe distance.

“All right, Uncle Ted,” said he. For one mad moment he was attacked by the desire to “throw in” the case of divorce. Would it not be common chivalry to make her independent, able to change her affections if she wished, unhampered by monetary troubles? You only needed to take out the words “during coverture.”

“All right, Uncle Ted,” he said. For a brief moment, he was overwhelmed by the urge to “file” for divorce. Wouldn’t it be a noble thing to make her independent, so she could change her affections if she wanted, without being held back by financial issues? You just had to remove the words “during coverture.”

Almost anxiously he looked into his uncle's face. There was no meanness there, but neither was there encouragement in that comprehensive brow with its wide sweep of hair. “Quixotism,” it seemed to say, “has merits, but—” The room, too, with its wide horizon and tall windows, looking as if it dealt habitually in common-sense, discouraged him. Innumerable men of breeding and the soundest principles must have bought their wives in here. It was perfumed with the atmosphere of wisdom and law-calf. The aroma of Precedent was strong; Shelton swerved his lance, and once more settled down to complete the purchase of his wife.

Almost anxiously, he looked into his uncle's face. There was no meanness there, but there also wasn't any encouragement in that broad forehead with its wide sweep of hair. “Being idealistic,” it seemed to say, “has its merits, but—” The room, too, with its vast view and tall windows, which looked as if it was all about practicality, discouraged him. Countless well-bred men with solid principles must have bought their wives in this place. It was filled with the atmosphere of wisdom and legal books. The scent of established norms was strong; Shelton redirected his efforts and once more prepared to finalize the purchase of his wife.

“I can't conceive what you're—in such a hurry for; you 're not going to be married till the autumn,” said Mr. Paramor, finishing at last.

“I can't understand what you're in such a hurry for; you won't be getting married until the fall,” said Mr. Paramor, finally finishing.

Replacing the blue pencil in the rack, he took the red rose from the glass, and sniffed at it. “Will you come with me as far as Pall Mall? I 'm going to take an afternoon off; too cold for Lord's, I suppose?”

Replacing the blue pencil in the holder, he picked up the red rose from the vase and took a sniff. “Will you walk with me to Pall Mall? I'm going to take the afternoon off; it’s probably too cold for Lord's, right?”

They walked into the Strand.

They entered the Strand.

“Have you seen this new play of Borogrove's?” asked Shelton, as they passed the theatre to which he had been with Halidome.

“Have you seen this new play by Borogrove?” asked Shelton as they walked past the theater he had visited with Halidome.

“I never go to modern plays,” replied Mr. Paramor; “too d—-d gloomy.”

“I never go to modern plays,” replied Mr. Paramor; “they're just too damn gloomy.”

Shelton glanced at him; he wore his hat rather far back on his head, his eyes haunted the street in front; he had shouldered his umbrella.

Shelton looked at him; he was wearing his hat a bit too far back on his head, his eyes scanned the street ahead; he had slung his umbrella over his shoulder.

“Psychology 's not in your line, Uncle Ted?”

"Psychology isn't your thing, Uncle Ted?"

“Is that what they call putting into words things that can't be put in words?”

“Is that what they mean by putting into words things that can't be expressed?”

“The French succeed in doing it,” replied Shelton, “and the Russians; why should n't we?”

“The French manage to do it,” replied Shelton, “and the Russians; so why can’t we?”

Mr. Paramor stopped to look in at a fishmonger's.

Mr. Paramor paused to check out a fish market.

“What's right for the French and Russians, Dick,” he said “is wrong for us. When we begin to be real, we only really begin to be false. I should like to have had the catching of that fellow; let's send him to your mother.” He went in and bought a salmon:

“What's right for the French and Russians, Dick,” he said, “is wrong for us. When we start to be genuine, we only end up being fake. I would have liked to catch that guy; let’s send him to your mom.” He went in and bought a salmon.

“Now, my dear,” he continued, as they went on, “do you tell me that it's decent for men and women on the stage to writhe about like eels? Is n't life bad enough already?”

“Now, my dear,” he continued as they walked on, “are you really saying it's okay for men and women on stage to squirm around like eels? Isn't life tough enough already?”

It suddenly struck Shelton that, for all his smile, his uncle's face had a look of crucifixion. It was, perhaps, only the stronger sunlight in the open spaces of Trafalgar Square.

It suddenly hit Shelton that, despite his smile, his uncle's face had a look of suffering. It was probably just the intense sunlight in the open areas of Trafalgar Square.

“I don't know,” he said; “I think I prefer the truth.”

“I don't know,” he said, “I think I'd rather have the truth.”

“Bad endings and the rest,” said Mr. Paramor, pausing under one of Nelson's lions and taking Shelton by a button. “Truth 's the very devil!”

“Bad endings and all that,” said Mr. Paramor, pausing under one of Nelson's lions and grabbing Shelton by a button. “The truth is a real pain!”

He stood there, very straight, his eyes haunting his nephew's face; there seemed to Shelton a touching muddle in his optimism—a muddle of tenderness and of intolerance, of truth and second-handedness. Like the lion above him, he seemed to be defying Life to make him look at her.

He stood there straight, his eyes fixed on his nephew’s face; to Shelton, there was a bittersweet confusion in his optimism—a mix of kindness and stubbornness, of sincerity and echoes of others' thoughts. Like the lion above him, he appeared to be challenging Life to make him face her.

“No, my dear,” he said, handing sixpence to a sweeper; “feelings are snakes! only fit to be kept in bottles with tight corks. You won't come to my club? Well, good-bye, old boy; my love to your mother when you see her”; and turning up the Square, he left Shelton to go on to his own club, feeling that he had parted, not from his uncle, but from the nation of which they were both members by birth and blood and education.

“No, my dear,” he said, giving sixpence to a street cleaner; “feelings are like snakes! They’re only meant to be kept in bottles with tight corks. You’re not coming to my club? Well, goodbye, old boy; send my love to your mother when you see her.” And turning up the Square, he left Shelton to head to his own club, feeling as though he had parted not from his uncle, but from the nation that they both belonged to by birth, blood, and education.





CHAPTER VII

THE CLUB

He went into the library of his club, and took up Burke's Peerage. The words his uncle had said to him on hearing his engagement had been these: “Dennant! Are those the Holm Oaks Dennants? She was a Penguin.”

He went into the library of his club and picked up Burke's Peerage. The words his uncle had said to him when he heard about his engagement were: “Dennant! Are those the Holm Oaks Dennants? She was a Penguin.”

No one who knew Mr. Paramor connected him with snobbery, but there had been an “Ah! that 's right; this is due to us” tone about the saying.

No one who knew Mr. Paramor associated him with snobbery, but there was an “Ah! that’s right; this is because of us” tone about the saying.

Shelton hunted for the name of Baltimore: “Charles Penguin, fifth Baron Baltimore. Issue: Alice, b. 184-, m. 186-Algernon Dennant, Esq., of Holm Oaks, Cross Eaton, Oxfordshire.” He put down the Peerage and took up the 'Landed Gentry'. “Dennant, Algernon Cuffe, eldest son of the late Algernon Cuffe Dennant, Esq., J. P., and Irene, 2nd daur. of the Honble. Philip and Lady Lillian March Mallow; ed. Eton and Ch. Ch., Oxford, J. P. for Oxfordshire. Residence, Holm Oaks,” etc., etc. Dropping the 'Landed Gentry', he took up a volume of the 'Arabian Nights', which some member had left reposing on the book-rest of his chair, but instead of reading he kept looking round the room. In almost every seat, reading or snoozing, were gentlemen who, in their own estimation, might have married Penguins. For the first time it struck him with what majestic leisureliness they turned the pages of their books, trifled with their teacups, or lightly snored. Yet no two were alike—a tall man-with dark moustache, thick hair, and red, smooth cheeks; another, bald, with stooping shoulders; a tremendous old buck, with a grey, pointed beard and large white waistcoat; a clean-shaven dapper man past middle age, whose face was like a bird's; a long, sallow, misanthrope; and a sanguine creature fast asleep. Asleep or awake, reading or snoring, fat or thin, hairy or bald, the insulation of their red or pale faces was complete. They were all the creatures of good form. Staring at them or reading the Arabian Nights Shelton spent the time before dinner. He had not been long seated in the dining-room when a distant connection strolled up and took the next table.

Shelton searched for the name of Baltimore: “Charles Penguin, fifth Baron Baltimore. Children: Alice, b. 184-, m. 186-Algernon Dennant, Esq., of Holm Oaks, Cross Eaton, Oxfordshire.” He set down the Peerage and picked up the 'Landed Gentry'. “Dennant, Algernon Cuffe, eldest son of the late Algernon Cuffe Dennant, Esq., J. P., and Irene, 2nd daughter of the Honorable Philip and Lady Lillian March Mallow; educated at Eton and Christ Church, Oxford, J. P. for Oxfordshire. Residence, Holm Oaks,” etc., etc. Putting down the 'Landed Gentry', he grabbed a copy of the 'Arabian Nights', which someone had left resting on the book-rest of his chair, but instead of reading, he kept glancing around the room. In almost every seat, reading or dozing, were gentlemen who, in their own minds, might have married Penguins. For the first time, he noticed how leisurely they turned the pages of their books, sipped their tea, or lightly snored. Yet no two were alike—a tall man with a dark moustache, thick hair, and smooth red cheeks; another, bald with stooped shoulders; a distinguished old gentleman with a grey, pointed beard and a large white waistcoat; a clean-shaven, dapper man past middle age with a bird-like face; a long, sallow misanthrope; and a cheerful soul fast asleep. Whether asleep or awake, reading or snoring, fat or thin, hairy or bald, the isolation of their red or pale faces was total. They were all the epitome of good form. Staring at them or reading the Arabian Nights, Shelton passed the time before dinner. He had not been seated in the dining room for long when a distant connection strolled over and took the next table.

“Ah, Shelton! Back? Somebody told me you were goin' round the world.” He scrutinised the menu through his eyeglass. “Clear soup! . . . Read Jellaby's speech? Amusing the way he squashes all those fellows. Best man in the House, he really is.”

“Hey, Shelton! You’re back? I heard you were going around the world.” He examined the menu through his glasses. “Clear soup! ... Did you read Jellaby's speech? It's funny how he puts all those guys in their place. He’s really the best guy in the House.”

Shelton paused in the assimilation of asparagus; he, too, had been in the habit of admiring Jellaby, but now he wondered why. The red and shaven face beside him above a broad, pure shirt-front was swollen by good humour; his small, very usual, and hard eyes were fixed introspectively on the successful process of his eating.

Shelton paused while eating asparagus; he, too, had admired Jellaby in the past, but now he questioned why. The red, shaved face next to him above a clean, broad shirt-front was beaming with good humor; his small, ordinary, and hard eyes were focused introspectively on the successful act of eating.

“Success!” thought Shelton, suddenly enlightened—“success is what we admire in Jellaby. We all want success . . . . Yes,” he admitted, “a successful beast.”

“Success!” thought Shelton, suddenly realizing—“success is what we admire in Jellaby. We all want success . . . . Yes,” he admitted, “a successful creature.”

“Oh!” said his neighbour, “I forgot. You're in the other camp?”

“Oh!” said his neighbor, “I forgot. You're in the other camp?”

“Not particularly. Where did you get that idea?”

“Not really. Where did you get that thought?”

His neighbour looked round negligently.

His neighbor glanced around casually.

“Oh,” said he, “I somehow thought so”; and Shelton almost heard him adding, “There's something not quite sound about you.”

“Oh,” he said, “I kind of thought that”; and Shelton almost heard him adding, “There's something a bit off about you.”

“Why do you admire Jellaby?” he asked.

“Why do you admire Jellaby?” he asked.

“Knows his own mind,” replied his neighbour; “it 's more than the others do . . . . This whitebait is n't fit for cats! Clever fellow, Jellaby! No nonsense about him! Have you ever heard him speak? Awful good sport to watch him sittin' on the Opposition. A poor lot they are!” and he laughed, either from appreciation of Jellaby sitting on a small minority, or from appreciation of the champagne bubbles in his glass.

“Knows what he wants,” replied his neighbor; “it’s more than the others do... This whitebait isn’t even good for cats! Smart guy, Jellaby! No nonsense with him! Have you ever heard him talk? It’s a blast to see him sitting with the Opposition. They’re a pretty sorry bunch!” and he laughed, either because he appreciated Jellaby sitting with a small minority or because he enjoyed the champagne bubbles in his glass.

“Minorities are always depressing,” said Shelton dryly.

“Minorities are always a downer,” said Shelton dryly.

“Eh? what?”

"Huh? What?"

“I mean,” said Shelton, “it's irritating to look at people who have n't a chance of success—fellows who make a mess of things, fanatics, and all that.”

“I mean,” said Shelton, “it's frustrating to see people who don’t have a shot at success—guys who screw things up, fanatics, and all that.”

His neighbour turned his eyes inquisitively.

His neighbor looked at him curiously.

“Er—yes, quite,” said he; “don't you take mint sauce? It's the best part of lamb, I always think.”

“Um—yeah, sure,” he said; “don’t you have mint sauce? I always think it’s the best part of lamb.”

The great room with its countless little tables, arranged so that every man might have the support of the gold walls to his back, began to regain its influence on Shelton. How many times had he not sat there, carefully nodding to acquaintances, happy if he got the table he was used to, a paper with the latest racing, and someone to gossip with who was not a bounder; while the sensation of having drunk enough stole over him. Happy! That is, happy as a horse is happy who never leaves his stall.

The large room with its numerous small tables, set up so that each person could have the gold walls behind them, started to have its effect on Shelton again. How many times had he sat there, thoughtfully nodding to people he knew, satisfied if he got his usual table, a paper with the latest racing news, and someone to chat with who wasn’t a jerk; while the feeling of having had just enough to drink washed over him. Happy! Well, happy like a horse that never leaves its stall.

“Look at poor little Bing puffin' about,” said his neighbour, pointing to a weazened, hunchy waiter. “His asthma's awf'ly bad; you can hear him wheezin' from the street.”

“Look at poor little Bing struggling over there,” said his neighbor, pointing to a frail, hunched waiter. “His asthma is really bad; you can hear him wheezing from the street.”

He seemed amused.

He looked amused.

“There 's no such thing as moral asthma, I suppose?” said Shelton.

“Is there really something like moral asthma?” Shelton asked.

His neighbour dropped his eyeglass.

His neighbor dropped his glasses.

“Here, take this away; it's overdone;” said he. “Bring me some lamb.”

“Here, take this away; it’s too much,” he said. “Bring me some lamb.”

Shelton pushed his table back.

Shelton moved his table back.

“Good-night,” he said; “the Stilton's excellent!”

“Good night,” he said, “the Stilton is excellent!”

His neighbour raised his brows, and dropped his eyes again upon his plate.

His neighbor raised his eyebrows and then looked back down at his plate.

In the hall Shelton went from force of habit to the weighing-scales and took his weight. “Eleven stone!” he thought; “gone up!” and, clipping a cigar, he sat down in the smoking-room with a novel.

In the hallway, Shelton walked to the scales out of habit and checked his weight. “Eleven stone!” he thought; “I've gained weight!” After clipping a cigar, he settled into the smoking room with a novel.

After half an hour he dropped the book. There seemed something rather fatuous about this story, for though it had a thrilling plot, and was full of well-connected people, it had apparently been contrived to throw no light on anything whatever. He looked at the author's name; everyone was highly recommending it. He began thinking, and staring at the fire....

After half an hour, he put the book down. There was something pretty ridiculous about this story because, even though it had an exciting plot and featured lots of well-connected characters, it somehow didn't shed any light on anything at all. He glanced at the author's name; everyone was raving about it. He started to think and stared at the fire...

Looking up, he saw Antonia's second brother, a young man in the Rifles, bending over him with sunny cheeks and lazy smile, clearly just a little drunk.

Looking up, he saw Antonia's second brother, a young man in the Rifles, leaning over him with rosy cheeks and a lazy smile, clearly a little tipsy.

“Congratulate you, old chap! I say, what made you grow that b-b-eastly beard?”

“Congrats, my friend! I gotta ask, what made you grow that bushy beard?”

Shelton grinned.

Shelton smiled.

“Pillbottle of the Duchess!” read young Dennant, taking up the book. “You been reading that? Rippin', is n't it?”

“Pillbottle of the Duchess!” read young Dennant, picking up the book. “Have you been reading that? It's awesome, isn’t it?”

“Oh, ripping!” replied Shelton.

“Oh, awesome!” replied Shelton.

“Rippin' plot! When you get hold of a novel you don't want any rot about—what d'you call it?—psychology, you want to be amused.”

“Awesome storyline! When you pick up a novel, you don't want any nonsense about—what do you call it?—psychology, you just want to be entertained.”

“Rather!” murmured Shelton.

"Absolutely!" murmured Shelton.

“That's an awfully good bit where the President steals her diamonds There's old Benjy! Hallo, Benjy!”

“That's a really great part where the President steals her diamonds. There's old Benjy! Hey, Benjy!”

“Hallo, Bill, old man!”

“Hey, Bill, old friend!”

This Benjy was a young, clean-shaven creature, whose face and voice and manner were a perfect blend of steel and geniality.

This Benjy was a young, clean-shaven guy, whose face, voice, and manner were a perfect mix of toughness and friendliness.

In addition to this young man who was so smooth and hard and cheery, a grey, short-bearded gentleman, with misanthropic eyes, called Stroud, came up; together with another man of Shelton's age, with a moustache and a bald patch the size of a crown-piece, who might be seen in the club any night of the year when there was no racing out of reach of London.

In addition to the cheerful, smooth, and tough young man, a gray, short-bearded guy with bitter eyes named Stroud approached. He was joined by another man around Shelton's age, sporting a mustache and a bald spot the size of a two-pound coin, who could be found in the club any night of the year when there was no racing outside of London.

“You know,” began young Dennant, “that this bounder”—he slapped the young man Benjy on the knee—“is going to be spliced to-morrow. Miss Casserol—you know the Casserols—Muncaster Gate.”

“You know,” started young Dennant, “that this guy”—he slapped the young man Benjy on the knee—“is getting married tomorrow. Miss Casserol—you know the Casserols—Muncaster Gate.”

“By Jove!” said Shelton, delighted to be able to say something they would understand.

“Wow!” said Shelton, excited to be able to say something they would get.

“Young Champion's the best man, and I 'm the second best. I tell you what, old chap, you 'd better come with me and get your eye in; you won't get such another chance of practice. Benjy 'll give you a card.”

“Young Champion is the best, and I’m the second best. Let me tell you, buddy, you should come with me and get some practice in; you won’t get another chance like this. Benjy will give you a card.”

“Delighted!” murmured Benjy.

“Awesome!” murmured Benjy.

“Where is it?”

"Where is it?"

“St. Briabas; two-thirty. Come and see how they do the trick. I'll call for you at one; we'll have some lunch and go together”; again he patted Benjy's knee.

“St. Briabas; 2:30. Come see how it's done. I'll pick you up at 1; we can grab some lunch and go together,” he said again, giving Benjy's knee a reassuring pat.

Shelton nodded his assent; the piquant callousness of the affair had made him shiver, and furtively he eyed the steely Benjy, whose suavity had never wavered, and who appeared to take a greater interest in some approaching race than in his coming marriage. But Shelton knew from his own sensations that this could not really be the case; it was merely a question of “good form,” the conceit of a superior breeding, the duty not to give oneself away. And when in turn he marked the eyes of Stroud fixed on Benjy, under shaggy brows, and the curious greedy glances of the racing man, he felt somehow sorry for him.

Shelton nodded in agreement; the sharp indifference of the situation made him shiver, and he secretly watched the composed Benjy, whose charm had never faltered, and who seemed to care more about an upcoming race than his impending wedding. But Shelton understood from his own feelings that this couldn't truly be the case; it was just a matter of "good form," the arrogance of elite upbringing, the obligation not to reveal too much. And when he noticed Stroud's gaze fixed on Benjy, beneath his bushy brows, and the curious, hungry looks of the racing man, he felt a twinge of sympathy for him.

“Who 's that fellow with the game leg—I'm always seeing him about?” asked the racing man.

“Who’s that guy with the limp—I keep running into him?” asked the racing man.

And Shelton saw a sallow man, conspicuous for a want of parting in his hair and a certain restlessness of attitude.

And Shelton saw a sickly-looking man, noticeable for not having a part in his hair and for his fidgety demeanor.

“His name is Bayes,” said Stroud; “spends half his time among the Chinese—must have a grudge against them! And now he 's got his leg he can't go there any more.”

“His name is Bayes,” said Stroud; “he spends half his time with the Chinese—he must have a grudge against them! And now that he’s injured his leg, he can’t go there anymore.”

“Chinese? What does he do to them?”

“Chinese? What does he do to them?”

“Bibles or guns. Don't ask me! An adventurer.”

“Bibles or guns. Don't ask me! I'm an adventurer.”

“Looks a bit of a bounder,” said the racing man.

“Seems like a bit of a jerk,” said the racing guy.

Shelton gazed at the twitching eyebrows of old Stroud; he saw at once how it must annoy a man who had a billet in the “Woods and Forests,” and plenty of time for “bridge” and gossip at his club, to see these people with untidy lives. A minute later the man with the “game leg” passed close behind his chair, and Shelton perceived at once how intelligible the resentment of his fellow-members was. He had eyes which, not uncommon in this country, looked like fires behind steel bars; he seemed the very kind of man to do all sorts of things that were “bad form,” a man who might even go as far as chivalry. He looked straight at Shelton, and his uncompromising glance gave an impression of fierce loneliness; altogether, an improper person to belong to such a club. Shelton remembered the words of an old friend of his father's: “Yes, Dick, all sorts of fellows belong here, and they come here for all sorts o' reasons, and a lot of em come because they've nowhere else to go, poor beggars”; and, glancing from the man with the “game leg” to Stroud, it occurred to Shelton that even he, old Stroud, might be one of these poor beggars. One never knew! A look at Benjy, contained and cheery, restored him. Ah, the lucky devil! He would not have to come here any more! and the thought of the last evening he himself would be spending before long flooded his mind with a sweetness that was almost pain.

Shelton watched the twitching eyebrows of old Stroud; he instantly saw how much it must irritate someone with a position in “Woods and Forests,” who had plenty of time for “bridge” and gossip at his club, to see these people living chaotic lives. A minute later, the man with the “game leg” walked past his chair, and Shelton immediately understood why his fellow members felt resentful. He had eyes that, not uncommon in this country, looked like flames behind steel bars; he seemed exactly the type to do all kinds of things that were “bad form,” a man who might even venture into chivalry. He stared directly at Shelton, and his intense gaze gave off an impression of fierce loneliness; overall, he seemed like an unsuitable person to be part of such a club. Shelton recalled the words of an old family friend: “Yes, Dick, all sorts of guys belong here, and they come for all sorts of reasons, and many of them come because they’ve got nowhere else to go, poor souls”; and, glancing from the man with the “game leg” to Stroud, Shelton thought that even Stroud might be one of these poor souls. You never knew! A look at Benjy, contained and cheerful, lifted his spirits. Ah, the lucky guy! He wouldn’t have to come here anymore! The thought of the last evening he, himself, would spend here soon filled his mind with a sweetness that was almost painful.

“Benjy, I'll play you a hundred up!” said young Bill Dennant.

“Benjy, I’ll bet you a hundred!” said young Bill Dennant.

Stroud and the racing man went to watch the game; Shelton was left once more to reverie.

Stroud and the racer went to watch the game; Shelton was left once again to daydream.

“Good form!” thought he; “that fellow must be made of steel. They'll go on somewhere; stick about half the night playing poker, or some such foolery.”

“Nice going!” he thought; “that guy must be made of steel. They’ll end up going somewhere; stick around half the night playing poker, or some other nonsense.”

He crossed over to the window. Rain had begun to fall; the streets looked wild and draughty. The cabmen were putting on their coats. Two women scurried by, huddled under one umbrella, and a thin-clothed, dogged-looking scarecrow lounged past with a surly, desperate step. Shelton, returning to his chair, threaded his way amongst his fellow-members. A procession of old school and college friends came up before his eyes. After all, what had there been in his own education, or theirs, to give them any other standard than this “good form”? What had there been to teach them anything of life? Their imbecility was incredible when you came to think of it. They had all the air of knowing everything, and really they knew nothing—nothing of Nature, Art, or the Emotions; nothing of the bonds that bind all men together. Why, even such words were not “good form”; nothing outside their little circle was “good form.” They had a fixed point of view over life because they came of certain schools, and colleges, and regiments! And they were those in charge of the state, of laws, and science, of the army, and religion. Well, it was their system—the system not to start too young, to form healthy fibre, and let the after-life develop it!

He walked over to the window. Rain had started to fall; the streets looked chaotic and cold. The cab drivers were putting on their coats. Two women hurried by, sharing an umbrella, and a thin, ragged-looking guy shuffled past with a grumpy, defeated step. Shelton, heading back to his chair, navigated through his fellow members. A parade of old school and college friends appeared before him. After all, what had they learned in their education, or in his, that provided any standard other than this "good form"? What had taught them anything about real life? Their cluelessness was astonishing when you really thought about it. They acted like they knew everything, but in reality, they knew nothing—nothing about Nature, Art, or emotions; nothing about the connections that unite all people. Even discussing such things wasn't considered "good form"; anything outside their small circle was off-limits. They had a narrow perspective on life because they came from specific schools, colleges, and regiments! And these were the people in charge of the government, laws, science, the military, and religion. Well, that was their way—the way of not starting too early, developing strong character, and letting life shape it later!

“Successful!” he thought, nearly stumbling over a pair of patent-leather boots belonging to a moon-faced, genial-looking member with gold nose-nippers; “oh, it 's successful!”

“Success!” he thought, almost tripping over a pair of shiny leather boots belonging to a friendly-looking guy with a round face and gold nose-pins; “oh, it's a success!”

Somebody came and picked up from the table the very volume which had originally inspired this train of thought, and Shelton could see his solemn pleasure as he read. In the white of his eye there was a torpid and composed abstraction. There was nothing in that book to startle him or make him think.

Somebody came and picked up the very book that had originally sparked this train of thought, and Shelton could see his serious enjoyment as he read. In the whites of his eyes, there was a dull and calm detachment. There was nothing in that book to surprise him or make him think.

The moon-faced member with the patent boots came up and began talking of his recent visit to the south of France. He had a scandalous anecdote or two to tell, and his broad face beamed behind his gold nose-nippers; he was a large man with such a store of easy, worldly humour that it was impossible not to appreciate his gossip, he gave so perfect an impression of enjoying life, and doing himself well. “Well, good-night!” he murmured—“An engagement!”—and the certainty he left behind that his engagement must be charming and illicit was pleasant to the soul.

The moon-faced guy in the flashy boots strolled over and started chatting about his recent trip to the south of France. He had a scandalous story or two to share, and his wide face lit up behind his gold nose clips; he was a big guy with a wealth of easy, worldly humor that made it impossible not to enjoy his gossip. He gave off such a vibe of loving life and taking care of himself. “Well, good-night!” he said with a smile—“An engagement!”—and the certainty he left behind that his engagement must be delightful and sneaky was a nice thought.

And, slowly taking up his glass, Shelton drank; the sense of well-being was upon him. His superiority to these his fellow-members soothed him. He saw through all the sham of this club life, the meanness of this worship of success, the sham of kid-gloved novelists, “good form,” and the terrific decency of our education. It was soothing thus to see through things, soothing thus to be superior; and from the soft recesses of his chair he puffed out smoke and stretched his limbs toward the fire; and the fire burned back at him with a discreet and venerable glow.

And, slowly lifting his glass, Shelton took a drink; he felt a sense of well-being wash over him. His sense of superiority over these fellow members comforted him. He saw through all the pretense of club life, the pettiness of this obsession with success, the facade of polished novelists, “good form,” and the overwhelming decency of our education. It was comforting to have this insight, comforting to feel superior; and from the cozy depths of his chair, he exhaled smoke and stretched his limbs toward the fire, which responded with a warm and dignified glow.





CHAPTER VIII

THE WEDDING

Punctual to his word, Bill Dennant called for Shelton at one o'clock.

Punctual to his word, Bill Dennant called for Shelton at one o'clock.

“I bet old Benjy's feeling a bit cheap,” said he, as they got out of their cab at the church door and passed between the crowded files of unelect, whose eyes, so curious and pitiful, devoured them from the pavement.

“I bet old Benjy's feeling a bit cheap,” he said, as they got out of their cab at the church door and walked between the crowded lines of onlookers, whose curious and pitying eyes scrutinized them from the sidewalk.

The ashen face of a woman, with a baby in her arms and two more by her side, looked as eager as if she had never experienced the pangs of ragged matrimony. Shelton went in inexplicably uneasy; the price of his tie was their board and lodging for a week. He followed his future brother-in-law to a pew on the bridegroom's side, for, with intuitive perception of the sexes' endless warfare, each of the opposing parties to this contract had its serried battalion, the arrows of whose suspicion kept glancing across and across the central aisle.

The pale face of a woman, holding a baby in her arms with two more beside her, looked as eager as if she had never known the struggles of a difficult marriage. Shelton stepped in feeling inexplicably uneasy; the cost of his tie was their food and lodging for a week. He followed his future brother-in-law to a pew on the groom's side because, with an instinctive understanding of the ongoing battle between the sexes, each side in this agreement had its own group, with suspicions flying back and forth across the central aisle.

Bill Dennant's eyes began to twinkle.

Bill Dennant's eyes started to sparkle.

“There's old Benjy!” he whispered; and Shelton looked at the hero of the day. A subdued pallor was traceable under the weathered uniformity of his shaven face; but the well-bred, artificial smile he bent upon the guests had its wonted steely suavity. About his dress and his neat figure was that studied ease which lifts men from the ruck of common bridegrooms. There were no holes in his armour through which the impertinent might pry.

“There's old Benjy!” he whispered, and Shelton looked at the hero of the day. A faint paleness was visible beneath the weathered uniformity of his clean-shaven face, but the polished, artificial smile he gave the guests maintained its usual steely charm. His attire and neatly groomed appearance exuded a studied ease that distinguished him from ordinary bridegrooms. There were no gaps in his armor through which the rude could intrude.

“Good old Benjy!” whispered young Dennant; “I say, they look a bit short of class, those Casserols.”

“Good old Benjy!” whispered young Dennant; “I mean, they seem a bit low on class, those Casserols.”

Shelton, who was acquainted with this family, smiled. The sensuous sanctity all round had begun to influence him. A perfume of flowers and dresses fought with the natural odour of the church; the rustle of whisperings and skirts struck through the native silence of the aisles, and Shelton idly fixed his eyes on a lady in the pew in front; without in the least desiring to make a speculation of this sort, he wondered whether her face was as charming as the lines of her back in their delicate, skin-tight setting of pearl grey; his glance wandered to the chancel with its stacks of flowers, to the grave, business faces of the presiding priests, till the organ began rolling out the wedding march.

Shelton, who knew this family, smiled. The sensual beauty all around was starting to affect him. A mix of flower and dress scents clashed with the natural smell of the church; the soft sounds of whispers and the rustling of skirts broke the usual silence of the aisles, and Shelton lazily focused on a woman in the pew in front of him; without wanting to speculate at all, he wondered if her face was as lovely as the lines of her back in that fitted pearl grey outfit; his gaze drifted to the chancel filled with flowers, to the serious, businesslike expressions of the priests in charge, until the organ began to play the wedding march.

“They're off!” whispered young Dermant.

“They're off!” whispered young Dermot.

Shelton was conscious of a shiver running through the audience which reminded him of a bullfight he had seen in Spain. The bride came slowly up the aisle. “Antonia will look like that,” he thought, “and the church will be filled with people like this . . . . She'll be a show to them!” The bride was opposite him now, and by an instinct of common chivalry he turned away his eyes; it seemed to him a shame to look at that downcast head above the silver mystery of her perfect raiment; the modest head full, doubtless, of devotion and pure yearnings; the stately head where no such thought as “How am I looking, this day of all days, before all London?” had ever entered; the proud head, which no such fear as “How am I carrying it off?” could surely be besmirching.

Shelton felt a shiver run through the audience that reminded him of a bullfight he had seen in Spain. The bride walked slowly up the aisle. “Antonia will look like that,” he thought, “and the church will be packed with people like this... She'll be a spectacle to them!” The bride was now directly in front of him, and out of a sense of common courtesy, he turned his gaze away; it seemed unfair to look at that downcast head beneath the silver mystery of her beautiful gown; the modest head likely filled with devotion and pure hopes; the dignified head that had never thought, “How do I look, today of all days, in front of all London?”; the proud head that surely had no concern about “How am I holding it together?”

He saw below the surface of this drama played before his eyes, and set his face, as a man might who found himself assisting at a sacrifice. The words fell, unrelenting, on his ears: “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health—” and opening the Prayer Book he found the Marriage Service, which he had not looked at since he was a boy, and as he read he had some very curious sensations.

He looked beyond the surface of the drama unfolding before him and set his face like someone witnessing a sacrifice. The words hit his ears harshly: “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health—” and as he opened the Prayer Book, he found the Marriage Service, which he hadn't seen since he was a kid, and as he read, he experienced some very strange feelings.

All this would soon be happening to himself! He went on reading in a kind of stupor, until aroused by his companion whispering, “No luck!” All around there rose a rustling of skirts; he saw a tall figure mount the pulpit and stand motionless. Massive and high-featured, sunken of eye, he towered, in snowy cambric and a crimson stole, above the blackness of his rostrum; it seemed he had been chosen for his beauty. Shelton was still gazing at the stitching of his gloves, when once again the organ played the Wedding March. All were smiling, and a few were weeping, craning their heads towards the bride. “Carnival of second-hand emotions!” thought Shelton; and he, too, craned his head and brushed his hat. Then, smirking at his friends, he made his way towards the door.

All of this would soon be happening to him! He kept reading in a kind of daze until his companion whispered, “No luck!” All around, there was a rustling of skirts; he saw a tall figure step up to the pulpit and stand still. With strong features, sunken eyes, and dressed in white linen with a red stole, he stood tall above the darkness of his stand; it seemed he had been chosen for his beauty. Shelton was still focused on the stitching of his gloves when the organ played the Wedding March again. Everyone was smiling, and a few were crying, stretching their necks to see the bride. “A circus of recycled emotions!” Shelton thought; and he, too, leaned forward and adjusted his hat. Then, with a smirk at his friends, he headed towards the door.

In the Casserols' house he found himself at last going round the presents with the eldest Casserol surviving, a tall girl in pale violet, who had been chief bridesmaid.

In the Casserols' house, he finally found himself going around the presents with the oldest surviving Casserol, a tall girl in light purple who had been the chief bridesmaid.

“Did n't it go off well, Mr. Shelton?” she was saying

“Didn't it go well, Mr. Shelton?” she was saying.

“Oh, awfully!”

“Oh, so bad!”

“I always think it's so awkward for the man waiting up there for the bride to come.”

"I always find it so awkward for the guy standing up there waiting for the bride to arrive."

“Yes,” murmured Shelton.

“Yeah,” murmured Shelton.

“Don't you think it's smart, the bridesmaids having no hats?”

“Don't you think it's clever that the bridesmaids aren't wearing any hats?”

Shelton had not noticed this improvement, but he agreed.

Shelton hadn’t noticed this improvement, but he agreed.

“That was my idea; I think it 's very chic. They 've had fifteen tea-sets-so dull, is n't it?”

“That was my idea; I think it’s really stylish. They’ve had fifteen tea sets—so boring, right?”

“By Jove!” Shelton hastened to remark.

“Wow!” Shelton said quickly.

“Oh, its fearfully useful to have a lot of things you don't want; of course, you change them for those you do.”

“Oh, it’s incredibly useful to have a bunch of things you don’t want; of course, you trade them for the things you do.”

The whole of London seemed to have disgorged its shops into this room; he looked at Miss Casserol's face, and was greatly struck by the shrewd acquisitiveness of her small eyes.

The entire city of London seemed to have poured its shops into this room; he looked at Miss Casserol's face and was really struck by the clever greed in her small eyes.

“Is that your future brother-in-law?” she asked, pointing to Bill Dennant with a little movement of her chin; “I think he's such a bright boy. I want you both to come to dinner, and help to keep things jolly. It's so deadly after a wedding.”

“Is that your future brother-in-law?” she asked, nodding slightly toward Bill Dennant. “I think he's such a bright guy. I want you both to come over for dinner and help keep things cheerful. It gets so dull after a wedding.”

And Shelton said they would.

And Shelton said they would.

They adjourned to the hall now, to wait for the bride's departure. Her face as she came down the stairs was impassive, gay, with a furtive trouble in the eyes, and once more Shelton had the odd sensation of having sinned against his manhood. Jammed close to him was her old nurse, whose puffy, yellow face was pouting with emotion, while tears rolled from her eyes. She was trying to say something, but in the hubbub her farewell was lost. There was a scamper to the carriage, a flurry of rice and flowers; the shoe was flung against the sharply drawn-up window. Then Benjy's shaven face was seen a moment, bland and steely; the footman folded his arms, and with a solemn crunch the brougham wheels rolled away. “How splendidly it went off!” said a voice on Shelton's right. “She looked a little pale,” said a voice on Shelton's left. He put his hand up to his forehead; behind him the old nurse sniffed.

They moved to the hall now to wait for the bride to leave. Her face as she came down the stairs was expressionless yet cheerful, with a hidden worry in her eyes, and once again, Shelton felt the strange sensation of having failed his masculinity. Close to him was her old nurse, her puffy, yellow face showing a mix of emotions, with tears streaming down her cheeks. She was trying to say something, but in the noise, her goodbye was drowned out. There was a rush to the carriage, a flurry of rice and flowers; the shoe was thrown against the tightly drawn window. Then Benjy's shaven face appeared for a moment, calm yet steely; the footman crossed his arms, and with a solemn crunch, the brougham's wheels rolled away. “How wonderfully it went!” said a voice to Shelton's right. “She looked a bit pale,” said a voice to his left. He raised a hand to his forehead; behind him, the old nurse sniffed.

“Dick,” said young Dennant in his ear, “this isn't good enough; I vote we bolt.”

“Dick,” young Dennant whispered to him, “this isn't good enough; I say we leave.”

Shelton assenting, they walked towards the Park; nor could he tell whether the slight nausea he experienced was due to afternoon champagne or to the ceremony that had gone so well.

Shelton agreed, and they walked toward the Park; he couldn't tell if the slight nausea he felt was from the afternoon champagne or from the ceremony that had gone so well.

“What's up with you?” asked Dennant; “you look as glum as any m-monkey.”

“What's up with you?” asked Dennant; “you look as glum as any monkey.”

“Nothing,” said Shelton; “I was only thinking what humbugs we all are!”

“Nothing,” Shelton said; “I was just thinking about how much of a joke we all are!”

Bill Dennant stopped in the middle of the crossing, and clapped his future brother-in-law upon the shoulder.

Bill Dennant paused in the middle of the crosswalk and patted his future brother-in-law on the shoulder.

“Oh,” said he, “if you're going to talk shop, I 'm off.”

“Oh,” he said, “if you’re going to talk business, I’m out of here.”





CHAPTER IX

THE DINNER

The dinner at the Casserols' was given to those of the bride's friends who had been conspicuous in the day's festivities. Shelton found himself between Miss Casserol and a lady undressed to much the same degree. Opposite sat a man with a single diamond stud, a white waistcoat, black moustache, and hawk-like face. This was, in fact, one of those interesting houses occupied by people of the upper middle class who have imbibed a taste for smart society. Its inhabitants, by nature acquisitive and cautious, economical, tenacious, had learnt to worship the word “smart.” The result was a kind of heavy froth, an air of thoroughly domestic vice. In addition to the conventionally fast, Shelton had met there one or two ladies, who, having been divorced, or having yet to be, still maintained their position in “society.” Divorced ladies who did not so maintain their place were never to be found, for the Casserols had a great respect for marriage. He had also met there American ladies who were “too amusing”—never, of course, American men, Mesopotamians of the financial or the racing type, and several of those gentlemen who had been, or were about to be, engaged in a transaction which might or again might not, “come off,” and in conduct of an order which might, or again might not be spotted. The line he knew, was always drawn at those in any category who were actually found out, for the value of these ladies and these gentlemen was not their claim to pity—nothing so sentimental—but their “smartness,” clothes, jokes, racing tips, their “bridge parties,” and their motors.

The dinner at the Casserols' was held for the bride's friends who stood out during the day's celebrations. Shelton found himself seated between Miss Casserol and a woman dressed similarly. Across from him was a man wearing a single diamond stud, a white waistcoat, a black mustache, and a sharp, hawk-like face. This was one of those interesting homes occupied by upper-middle-class people who had developed a taste for high society. Its residents, naturally ambitious and careful, thrifty, and persistent, had learned to idolize the word “smart.” The outcome was a sort of heavy pretense, an atmosphere of thoroughly domestic immorality. Besides the conventionally glamorous, Shelton had also met a couple of ladies there who, whether divorced or on the verge of it, still kept their standing in “society.” Divorced women who lost their place were never found there, as the Casserols held marriage in high regard. He’d also come across American women who were “too entertaining”—but never, of course, American men, finance or racing types from Mesopotamia, and several gentlemen who had been, or were about to get, involved in a deal that might or might not work out, and whose behavior might or might not be questionable. He knew the line was always drawn at those in any category who actually got caught, because the worth of these ladies and gentlemen was not based on any claim to sympathy—nothing so sentimental—but on their “smartness,” outfits, jokes, racing tips, their “bridge parties,” and their cars.

In sum, the house was one whose fundamental domesticity attracted and sheltered those who were too “smart” to keep their heads for long above the water.

In short, the house was one that fundamentally felt like home, drawing in and providing refuge for those who were too “smart” to stay afloat for long.

His host, a grey, clean-shaven city man, with a long upper lip, was trying to understand a lady the audacity of whose speech came ringing down the table. Shelton himself had given up the effort with his neighbours, and made love to his dinner, which, surviving the incoherence of the atmosphere, emerged as a work of art. It was with surprise that he found Miss Casserol addressing him.

His host, a neatly groomed city man with a long upper lip, was trying to make sense of a woman whose bold remarks echoed down the table. Shelton had given up trying to engage with his neighbors and focused on enjoying his dinner, which, despite the chaotic atmosphere, turned out to be a masterpiece. He was surprised to hear Miss Casserol speaking to him.

“I always say that the great thing is to be jolly. If you can't find anything to make you laugh, pretend you do; it's so much 'smarter to be amusin'. Now don't you agree?”

“I always say that the best thing is to be happy. If you can't find anything to make you laugh, just pretend you do; it's so much 'smarter to be fun.' Now don't you agree?”

The philosophy seemed excellent.

The philosophy seemed great.

“We can't all be geniuses, but we can all look jolly.”

“We can't all be geniuses, but we can all look cheerful.”

Shelton hastened to look jolly.

Shelton rushed to look cheerful.

“I tell the governor, when he 's glum, that I shall put up the shutters and leave him. What's the good of mopin' and lookin' miserable? Are you going to the Four-in-Hand Meet? We're making a party. Such fun; all the smart people!”

“I tell the governor, when he's down, that I’ll close up shop and leave him. What’s the point of sulking and looking unhappy? Are you going to the Four-in-Hand Meet? We’re organizing a group. It’ll be a blast; all the classy people will be there!”

The splendour of her shoulders, her frizzy hair (clearly not two hours out of the barber's hands), might have made him doubtful; but the frank shrewdness in her eyes, and her carefully clipped tone of voice, were guarantees that she was part of the element at the table which was really quite respectable. He had never realised before how “smart” she was, and with an effort abandoned himself to a sort of gaiety that would have killed a Frenchman.

The beauty of her shoulders and her frizzy hair (clearly not just two hours out of the salon) might have made him hesitant; but the honest intelligence in her eyes and her precise way of speaking assured him that she was definitely part of the respectable crowd at the table. He had never noticed before how “smart” she was, and with some effort, he let himself relax into a kind of cheerfulness that would have overwhelmed a Frenchman.

And when she left him, he reflected upon the expression of her eyes when they rested on a lady opposite, who was a true bird-of-prey. “What is it,” their envious, inquisitive glance had seemed to say, “that makes you so really 'smart'.” And while still seeking for the reason, he noticed his host pointing out the merits of his port to the hawk-like man, with a deferential air quite pitiful to see, for the hawk-like man was clearly a “bad hat.” What in the name of goodness did these staid bourgeois mean by making up to vice? Was it a craving to be thought distinguished, a dread of being dull, or merely an effect of overfeeding? Again he looked at his host, who had not yet enumerated all the virtues of his port, and again felt sorry for him.

And when she left him, he thought about the look in her eyes when they landed on a woman across the room, who was definitely a predator. “What is it,” their envious, curious gaze seemed to ask, “that makes you so truly 'stylish'?” While trying to figure it out, he noticed his host pointing out the qualities of his port to the predator-like man, with a deferential attitude that was almost painful to watch, because the predator-like man was clearly a “bad apple.” What on earth did these serious middle-class people mean by sucking up to vice? Was it a desire to be seen as sophisticated, a fear of being boring, or just a result of indulging too much? He looked at his host again, who still hadn’t listed all the virtues of his port, and felt sorry for him once more.

“So you're going to marry Antonia Dennant?” said a voice on his right, with that easy coarseness which is a mark of caste. “Pretty girl! They've a nice place, the, Dennants. D' ye know, you're a lucky feller!”

“So you’re going to marry Antonia Dennant?” said a voice to his right, with that casual roughness that shows status. “Pretty girl! The Dennants have a nice place. You know, you’re a lucky guy!”

The speaker was an old baronet, with small eyes, a dusky, ruddy face, and peculiar hail-fellow-well-met expression, at once morose and sly. He was always hard up, but being a man of enterprise knew all the best people, as well as all the worst, so that he dined out every night.

The speaker was an elderly baronet, with small eyes, a dark, ruddy face, and a distinctive friendly-but-sneaky expression that was both gloomy and cunning. He was always short on cash, but being resourceful, he knew all the best people as well as all the worst, which meant he dined out every night.

“You're a lucky feller,” he repeated; “he's got some deuced good shootin', Dennant! They come too high for me, though; never touched a feather last time I shot there. She's a pretty girl. You 're a lucky feller!”

"You're a lucky guy," he repeated; "he's got some really great shooting skills, Dennant! They cost too much for me, though; I didn't hit a thing the last time I shot there. She's a pretty girl. You're a lucky guy!"

“I know that,” said Shelton humbly.

“I know that,” Shelton said humbly.

“Wish I were in your shoes. Who was that sittin' on the other side of you? I'm so dashed short-sighted. Mrs. Carruther? Oh, ay!” An expression which, if he had not been a baronet, would have been a leer, came on his lips.

“Wish I were in your position. Who was that sitting next to you? I'm so incredibly short-sighted. Mrs. Carruther? Oh, yeah!” An expression that, if he hadn’t been a baronet, would have looked like a smirk, appeared on his lips.

Shelton felt that he was referring to the leaf in his mental pocket-book covered with the anecdotes, figures, and facts about that lady. “The old ogre means,” thought he, “that I'm lucky because his leaf is blank about Antonia.” But the old baronet had turned, with his smile, and his sardonic, well-bred air, to listen to a bit of scandal on the other side.

Shelton felt like he was thinking about the note in his mental notebook filled with stories, numbers, and facts about that woman. “The old ogre means,” he thought, “that I'm lucky because his note is empty when it comes to Antonia.” But the old baronet had turned with his smile and his sarcastic, polished demeanor to listen to some gossip on the other side.

The two men to Shelton's left were talking.

The two men to Shelton's left were chatting.

“What! You don't collect anything? How's that? Everybody collects something. I should be lost without my pictures.”

“What! You don’t collect anything? How is that possible? Everyone collects something. I’d be lost without my pictures.”

“No, I don't collect anything. Given it up; I was too awfully had over my Walkers.”

“No, I don’t collect anything. Gave it up; I was just too badly burned by my Walkers.”

Shelton had expected a more lofty reason; he applied himself to the Madeira in his glass. That, had been “collected” by his host, and its price was going up! You couldn't get it every day; worth two guineas a bottle! How precious the idea that other people couldn't get it, made it seem! Liquid delight; the price was going up! Soon there would be none left; immense! Absolutely no one, then, could drink it!

Shelton had anticipated a more grand reason; he focused on the Madeira in his glass. That had been “procured” by his host, and its price was increasing! You couldn’t find it every day; worth two guineas a bottle! How special the thought that others couldn’t get it made it seem! Liquid pleasure; the price was rising! Soon there would be none left; incredible! Absolutely no one, then, could drink it!

“Wish I had some of this,” said the old baronet, “but I have drunk all mine.”

“Wish I had some of this,” said the old baronet, “but I’ve drunk all of mine.”

“Poor old chap!” thought Shelton; “after all, he's not a bad old boy. I wish I had his pluck. His liver must be splendid.”

“Poor guy!” thought Shelton; “after all, he's not a bad old dude. I wish I had his courage. His spirit must be great.”

The drawing-room was full of people playing a game concerned with horses ridden by jockeys with the latest seat. And Shelton was compelled to help in carrying on this sport till early in the morning. At last he left, exhausted by his animation.

The living room was packed with people playing a game about horses ridden by jockeys with the newest gear. Shelton had to help keep the game going until early in the morning. Finally, he left, worn out from all the excitement.

He thought of the wedding; he thought over his dinner and the wine that he had drunk. His mood of satisfaction fizzled out. These people were incapable of being real, even the smartest, even the most respectable; they seemed to weigh their pleasures in the scales and to get the most that could be gotten for their money.

He thought about the wedding; he reflected on his dinner and the wine he had enjoyed. His feeling of satisfaction faded away. These people were unable to be genuine, even the smartest and most respectable ones; they seemed to measure their pleasures and try to get the most value for their money.

Between the dark, safe houses stretching for miles and miles, his thoughts were of Antonia; and as he reached his rooms he was overtaken by the moment when the town is born again. The first new air had stolen down; the sky was living, but not yet alight; the trees were quivering faintly; no living creature stirred, and nothing spoke except his heart. Suddenly the city seemed to breathe, and Shelton saw that he was not alone; an unconsidered trifle with inferior boots was asleep upon his doorstep.

Between the dark, safe houses stretching for miles, his mind was on Antonia; and as he reached his rooms, he was caught in that moment when the town is brought back to life. The first fresh air had come down; the sky was alive, but not yet bright; the trees were subtly shaking; no living being moved, and nothing made a sound except for his heart. Suddenly, the city seemed to take a breath, and Shelton realized he was not alone; a thoughtless stranger in worn-out boots was sleeping on his doorstep.





CHAPTER X

AN ALIEN

The individual on the doorstep had fallen into slumber over his own knees. No greater air of prosperity clung about him than is conveyed by a rusty overcoat and wisps of cloth in place of socks. Shelton endeavoured to pass unseen, but the sleeper woke.

The person on the doorstep had dozed off with his head resting on his knees. There was no hint of wealth about him, just a rusty overcoat and bits of fabric instead of socks. Shelton tried to slip by without being noticed, but the sleeper stirred awake.

“Ah, it's you, monsieur!” he said “I received your letter this evening, and have lost no time.” He looked down at himself and tittered, as though to say, “But what a state I 'm in!”

“Ah, it’s you, sir!” he said. “I got your letter this evening and didn’t waste any time.” He looked down at himself and chuckled, as if to say, “But what a mess I’m in!”

The young foreigner's condition was indeed more desperate than on the occasion of their first meeting, and Shelton invited him upstairs.

The young foreigner was in a much worse state than when they first met, so Shelton invited him upstairs.

“You can well understand,” stammered Ferrand, following his host, “that I did n't want to miss you this time. When one is like this—” and a spasm gripped his face.

“You can imagine,” stammered Ferrand, following his host, “that I didn't want to miss you this time. When someone is like this—” and a spasm gripped his face.

“I 'm very glad you came,” said Shelton doubtfully.

“I’m really glad you came,” Shelton said, unsure.

His visitor's face had a week's growth of reddish beard; the deep tan of his cheeks gave him a robust appearance at variance with the fit of, trembling which had seized on him as soon as he had entered.

His visitor's face had a week's worth of reddish beard; the deep tan of his cheeks gave him a strong look, which was completely at odds with the trembling that had taken hold of him as soon as he walked in.

“Sit down-sit down,” said Shelton; “you 're feeling ill!”

“Sit down, sit down,” said Shelton; “you're feeling sick!”

Ferrand smiled. “It's nothing,” said he; “bad nourishment.”

Ferrand smiled. "It's nothing," he said. "Just bad food."

Shelton left him seated on the edge of an armchair, and brought him in some whisky.

Shelton left him sitting on the edge of an armchair and brought him some whisky.

“Clothes,” said Ferrand, when he had drunk, “are what I want. These are really not good enough.”

“Clothes,” Ferrand said after he finished his drink, “are what I need. These really aren't good enough.”

The statement was correct, and Shelton, placing some garments in the bath-room, invited his visitor to make himself at home. While the latter, then, was doing this, Shelton enjoyed the luxuries of self-denial, hunting up things he did not want, and laying them in two portmanteaus. This done, he waited for his visitor's return.

The statement was accurate, and Shelton, putting some clothes in the bathroom, invited his guest to make himself comfortable. While the guest was doing that, Shelton relished the pleasures of self-denial, searching for items he didn’t need and packing them into two suitcases. Once he was finished, he waited for his guest to come back.

The young foreigner at length emerged, unshaved indeed, and innocent of boots, but having in other respects an air of gratifying affluence.

The young foreigner finally appeared, unshaven for sure, and without shoes, but otherwise giving off an air of satisfying wealth.

“This is a little different,” he said. “The boots, I fear”—and, pulling down his, or rather Shelton's, socks he exhibited sores the size of half a crown. “One does n't sow without reaping some harvest or another. My stomach has shrunk,” he added simply. “To see things one must suffer. 'Voyager, c'est plus fort que moi'.”

“This is a bit different,” he said. “The boots, I’m afraid”—and, pulling down his, or rather Shelton's, socks, he showed sores the size of half a crown. “You can’t reap the harvest without sowing something first. My stomach has shrunk,” he added matter-of-factly. “To truly see things, you have to suffer. 'To voyage is stronger than I.'”

Shelton failed to perceive that this was one way of disguising the human animal's natural dislike of work—there was a touch of pathos, a suggestion of God-knows-what-might-have-been, about this fellow.

Shelton didn't realize that this was a way of hiding the human animal's natural aversion to work—there was something sad about this guy, a hint of what might have been.

“I have eaten my illusions,” said the young foreigner, smoking a cigarette. “When you've starved a few times, your eyes are opened. 'Savoir, c'est mon metier; mais remarquez ceci, monsieur'. It 's not always the intellectuals who succeed.”

“I’ve consumed my illusions,” said the young foreigner, smoking a cigarette. “When you’ve gone hungry a few times, you start to see things clearly. 'Knowing is my craft; but notice this, sir.' It’s not always the intellectuals who come out on top.”

“When you get a job,” said Shelton, “you throw it away, I suppose.”

“When you get a job,” said Shelton, “you just toss it aside, I guess.”

“You accuse me of restlessness? Shall I explain what I think about that? I'm restless because of ambition; I want to reconquer an independent position. I put all my soul into my trials, but as soon as I see there's no future for me in that line, I give it up and go elsewhere. 'Je ne veux pas etre rond de cuir,' breaking my back to economise sixpence a day, and save enough after forty years to drag out the remains of an exhausted existence. That's not in my character.” This ingenious paraphrase of the words “I soon get tired of things” he pronounced with an air of letting Shelton into a precious secret.

“You think I’m restless? Want me to tell you why? I’m restless because I'm ambitious; I want to regain my independence. I invest my whole being into my efforts, but as soon as I realize there’s no future for me in that path, I move on to something else. 'I don't want to be a penny pincher,' breaking my back to save a few cents a day just to scrape by for forty years. That’s not who I am.” He said this clever way of expressing “I get bored with things” as if he was confiding a valuable secret to Shelton.

“Yes; it must be hard,” agreed the latter.

“Yes; it must be tough,” agreed the latter.

Ferrand shrugged his shoulders.

Ferrand shrugged.

“It's not all butter,” he replied; “one is obliged to do things that are not too delicate. There's nothing I pride myself on but frankness.”

“It's not all smooth sailing,” he replied; “sometimes you have to do things that aren't particularly pleasant. The only thing I take pride in is being honest.”

Like a good chemist, however, he administered what Shelton could stand in a judicious way. “Yes, yes,” he seemed to say, “you'd like me to think that you have a perfect knowledge of life: no morality, no prejudices, no illusions; you'd like me to think that you feel yourself on an equality with me, one human animal talking to another, without any barriers of position, money, clothes, or the rest—'ca c'est un peu trop fort'. You're as good an imitation as I 've come across in your class, notwithstanding your unfortunate education, and I 'm grateful to you, but to tell you everything, as it passes through my mind would damage my prospects. You can hardly expect that.”

Like a good chemist, he carefully gave Shelton just enough to handle. “Yes, yes,” he seemed to imply, “you want me to believe that you have it all figured out: no morals, no biases, no illusions; you want me to think we’re equal, just two humans talking to each other without any barriers of status, money, clothes, or any of that—'that’s a bit much.' You’re the best imitation I’ve seen in your circle, despite your unfortunate background, and I appreciate that, but to be completely honest, sharing all my thoughts with you would hurt my chances. You can’t really expect that.”

In one of Shelton's old frock-coats he was impressive, with his air of natural, almost sensitive refinement. The room looked as if it were accustomed to him, and more amazing still was the sense of familiarity that he inspired, as, though he were a part of Shelton's soul. It came as a shock to realise that this young foreign vagabond had taken such a place within his thoughts. The pose of his limbs and head, irregular but not ungraceful; his disillusioned lips; the rings of smoke that issued from them—all signified rebellion, and the overthrow of law and order. His thin, lopsided nose, the rapid glances of his goggling, prominent eyes, were subtlety itself; he stood for discontent with the accepted.

In one of Shelton's old coats, he looked impressive, exuding a natural, almost sensitive refinement. The room seemed used to him, and even more astonishing was the sense of familiarity he created, as if he were a part of Shelton's essence. It was a shock to realize that this young foreign wanderer had found such a place in his thoughts. The way he held his limbs and head was irregular yet graceful; his disillusioned lips; the rings of smoke curling from them—all indicated rebellion and a challenge to law and order. His thin, crooked nose and the rapid glances of his bulging, prominent eyes were pure subtlety; he represented discontent with the status quo.

“How do I live when I am on the tramp?” he said, “well, there are the consuls. The system is not delicate, but when it's a question of starving, much is permissible; besides, these gentlemen were created for the purpose. There's a coterie of German Jews in Paris living entirely upon consuls.” He hesitated for the fraction of a second, and resumed: “Yes, monsieur; if you have papers that fit you, you can try six or seven consuls in a single town. You must know a language or two; but most of these gentlemen are not too well up in the tongues of the country they represent. Obtaining money under false pretences? Well, it is. But what's the difference at bottom between all this honourable crowd of directors, fashionable physicians, employers of labour, ferry-builders, military men, country priests, and consuls themselves perhaps, who take money and give no value for it, and poor devils who do the same at far greater risk? Necessity makes the law. If those gentlemen were in my position, do you think that they would hesitate?”

“How do I survive when I’m down and out?” he said, “Well, there are the consuls. The system isn’t refined, but when it comes to starving, a lot is allowed; besides, these gentlemen were made for this purpose. There’s a group of German Jews in Paris living entirely off the consuls.” He paused for a brief moment and continued: “Yes, sir; if you have the right papers, you can hit up six or seven consuls in one city. You should know a language or two; but most of these gentlemen aren’t very fluent in the languages of the countries they represent. Getting money under false pretenses? Sure, it is. But what’s the real difference between this respectable crowd of directors, trendy doctors, business owners, ferry-builders, military personnel, country priests, and even the consuls themselves, who take money and provide nothing in return, and the poor souls who do the same at much greater risk? Necessity makes the rules. If those gentlemen were in my shoes, do you think they’d hesitate?”

Shelton's face remaining doubtful, Ferrand went on instantly: “You're right; they would, from fear, not principle. One must be hard pressed before committing these indelicacies. Look deep enough, and you will see what indelicate things are daily done by the respectable for not half so good a reason as the want of meals.”

Shelton looked uncertain, so Ferrand quickly added: “You're right; they would, out of fear, not out of principle. People have to be really desperate before they do these embarrassing things. If you look closely, you'll notice how much inappropriate behavior happens every day among respectable people for reasons that aren't even as compelling as just needing to eat.”

Shelton also took a cigarette—his own income was derived from property for which he gave no value in labour.

Shelton also grabbed a cigarette—he made his money from property that he didn't put any work into.

“I can give you an instance,” said Ferrand, “of what can be done by resolution. One day in a German town, 'etant dans la misere', I decided to try the French consul. Well, as you know, I am a Fleming, but something had to be screwed out somewhere. He refused to see me; I sat down to wait. After about two hours a voice bellowed: 'Has n't the brute gone?' and my consul appears. 'I 've nothing for fellows like you,' says he; 'clear out!'

“I can give you an example,” said Ferrand, “of what determination can achieve. One day in a German town, ‘etant dans la misere,’ I decided to approach the French consul. Well, as you know, I’m Flemish, but I had to find a way to get through. He refused to see me, so I sat down to wait. After about two hours, a voice shouted: ‘Hasn’t that brute left yet?’ and then my consul showed up. ‘I have nothing for people like you,’ he said; ‘get lost!’”

“'Monsieur,' I answered, 'I am skin and bone; I really must have assistance.'

“'Sir,' I replied, 'I’m just skin and bones; I really need help.'”

“'Clear out,' he says, 'or the police shall throw you out!'

“'Clear out,' he says, 'or the police will throw you out!'”

“I don't budge. Another hour passes, and back he comes again.

"I won't move. Another hour goes by, and here he is again."

“'Still here?' says he. 'Fetch a sergeant.'

“'Still here?' he says. 'Get me a sergeant.'”

“The sergeant comes.

"The sergeant arrives."

“'Sergeant,' says the consul, 'turn this creature out.'

“'Sergeant,' says the consul, 'get this guy out of here.'”

“'Sergeant,' I say, 'this house is France!' Naturally, I had calculated upon that. In Germany they're not too fond of those who undertake the business of the French.

“'Sergeant,' I say, 'this house is France!' Naturally, I had counted on that. In Germany, they aren't very fond of those who take on the work of the French.

“'He is right,' says the sergeant; 'I can do nothing.'

“'He’s right,' says the sergeant; 'I can’t do anything.'”

“'You refuse?'

"You're refusing?"

“'Absolutely.' And he went away.

"Absolutely." Then he walked away.

“'What do you think you'll get by staying?' says my consul.

“'What do you think you'll achieve by staying?' says my consul.

“'I have nothing to eat or drink, and nowhere to sleep,' says I.

“I have nothing to eat or drink, and no place to sleep,” I say.

“'What will you go for?'

"What are you going for?"

“'Ten marks.'

"Ten points."

“'Here, then, get out!' I can tell you, monsieur, one must n't have a thin skin if one wants to exploit consuls.”

“'Here, then, get out!' I can tell you, sir, you can’t be too sensitive if you want to take advantage of consuls.”

His yellow fingers slowly rolled the stump of his cigarette, his ironical lips flickered. Shelton thought of his own ignorance of life. He could not recollect ever having gone without a meal.

His yellow fingers slowly rolled the end of his cigarette, his sarcastic lips twitched. Shelton thought about how little he understood life. He couldn't remember a time when he had gone without a meal.

“I suppose,” he said feebly, “you've often starved.” For, having always been so well fed, the idea of starvation was attractive.

“I guess,” he said weakly, “you've probably gone hungry a lot.” Because he had always been well-fed, the thought of starving seemed appealing.

Ferrand smiled.

Ferrand smiled.

“Four days is the longest,” said he. “You won't believe that story.... It was in Paris, and I had lost my money on the race-course. There was some due from home which didn't come. Four days and nights I lived on water. My clothes were excellent, and I had jewellery; but I never even thought of pawning them. I suffered most from the notion that people might guess my state. You don't recognise me now?”

“Four days is the longest,” he said. “You won’t believe that story... It was in Paris, and I had lost my money at the racetrack. Some money I was expecting from home never came through. I survived on just water for four days and nights. My clothes were great, and I had jewelry; but I never even considered pawning them. What really bothered me was the thought that people might figure out what I was going through. You don’t recognize me now?”

“How old were you then?” said Shelton.

“How old were you at that time?” Shelton asked.

“Seventeen; it's curious what one's like at that age.”

“Seventeen; it’s interesting how someone is at that age.”

By a flash of insight Shelton saw the well-dressed boy, with sensitive, smooth face, always on the move about the streets of Paris, for fear that people should observe the condition of his stomach. The story was a valuable commentary. His thoughts were brusquely interrupted; looking in Ferrand's face, he saw to his dismay tears rolling down his cheeks.

By a sudden realization, Shelton noticed the well-dressed boy with a sensitive, smooth face, always moving around the streets of Paris, afraid that people would notice his stomach condition. The story was an important insight. His thoughts were abruptly cut off; when he looked at Ferrand's face, he was dismayed to see tears streaming down his cheeks.

“I 've suffered too much,” he stammered; “what do I care now what becomes of me?”

“I've been through so much,” he stammered; “what do I care now about what happens to me?”

Shelton was disconcerted; he wished 'to say something sympathetic,' but, being an Englishman, could only turn away his eyes.

Shelton felt uneasy; he wanted to say something comforting, but being English, he could only look away.

“Your turn 's coming,” he said at last.

“Your turn is coming,” he said at last.

“Ah! when you've lived my life,” broke out his visitor, “nothing 's any good. My heart's in rags. Find me anything worth keeping, in this menagerie.”

“Ah! when you’ve lived my life,” his visitor exclaimed, “nothing feels good. My heart's in shambles. Show me anything worth holding onto, in this circus of a life.”

Moved though he was, Shelton wriggled in his chair, a prey to racial instinct, to an ingrained over-tenderness, perhaps, of soul that forbade him from exposing his emotions, and recoiled from the revelation of other people's. He could stand it on the stage, he could stand it in a book, but in real life he could not stand it. When Ferrand had gone off with a portmanteau in each hand, he sat down and told Antonia:

Moved as he was, Shelton squirmed in his chair, affected by racial instincts and perhaps an ingrained sensitivity of spirit that prevented him from showing his emotions and made him uncomfortable with others revealing theirs. He could handle it on stage or in a book, but in real life, he couldn’t tolerate it. After Ferrand left with a suitcase in each hand, he sat down and told Antonia:

. . . The poor chap broke down and sat crying like a child; and instead of making me feel sorry, it turned me into stone. The more sympathetic I wanted to be, the gruffer I grew. Is it fear of ridicule, independence, or consideration, for others that prevents one from showing one's feelings?

. . . The poor guy broke down and sat crying like a child; and instead of making me feel sorry for him, it just hardened me. The more sympathetic I wanted to be, the rougher I became. Is it fear of being mocked, a desire for independence, or thinking of others that keeps someone from showing their feelings?

He went on to tell her of Ferrand's starving four days sooner than face a pawnbroker; and, reading the letter over before addressing it, the faces of the three ladies round their snowy cloth arose before him—Antonia's face, so fair and calm and wind-fresh; her mother's face, a little creased by time and weather; the maiden aunt's somewhat too thin-and they seemed to lean at him, alert and decorous, and the words “That's rather nice!” rang in his ears. He went out to post the letter, and buying a five-shilling order enclosed it to the little barber, Carolan, as a reward for delivering his note to Ferrand. He omitted to send his address with this donation, but whether from delicacy or from caution he could not have said. Beyond doubt, however, on receiving through Ferrand the following reply, he felt ashamed and pleased.

He told her about Ferrand’s decision to starve for four days rather than face a pawnbroker. As he read the letter over before mailing it, he could picture the faces of the three ladies around their snowy tablecloth—Antonia’s face, so fair, calm, and fresh from the wind; her mother’s face, slightly creased from time and weather; and the maiden aunt's face, a bit too thin. They seemed to lean towards him, attentive and proper, and the words “That’s rather nice!” echoed in his ears. He went out to mail the letter and, after buying a five-shilling order, enclosed it for the little barber, Carolan, as a thank you for delivering his note to Ferrand. He didn’t include his address with the donation, but whether that was out of politeness or caution, he couldn’t say. Undoubtedly, though, when he received the following reply from Ferrand, he felt both ashamed and pleased.

3, BLANK ROW, WESTMINSTER.

3, Blank Row, Westminster.

From every well-born soul humanity is owing. A thousand thanks. I received this morning your postal order; your heart henceforth for me will be placed beyond all praise.

From every person of good character, humanity owes a debt. A thousand thanks. I received your postal order this morning; your generosity will forever be beyond praise for me.

J. CAROLAN.

J. CAROLAN.





CHAPTER XI

THE VISION

A few days later he received a letter from Antonia which filled him with excitement:

A few days later, he got a letter from Antonia that thrilled him:

. . . Aunt Charlotte is ever so much better, so mother thinks we can go home-hurrah! But she says that you and I must keep to our arrangement not to see each other till July. There will be something fine in being so near and having the strength to keep apart . . . All the English are gone. I feel it so empty out here; these people are so funny-all foreign and shallow. Oh, Dick! how splendid to have an ideal to look up to! Write at once to Brewer's Hotel and tell me you think the same.... We arrive at Charing Cross on Sunday at half-past seven, stay at Brewer's for a couple of nights, and go down on Tuesday to Holm Oaks.

Aunt Charlotte is doing much better, so Mom thinks we can go home—yay! But she says that you and I have to stick to our plan of not seeing each other until July. There’s something special about being so close but having the self-control to stay apart. All the English people are gone. It feels so empty out here; these folks are just so odd—all foreign and superficial. Oh, Dick! How amazing it is to have an ideal to aspire to! Write to Brewer's Hotel right away and tell me you feel the same way.... We arrive at Charing Cross on Sunday at half-past seven, stay at Brewer's for a couple of nights, and head down to Holm Oaks on Tuesday.

Always your

Always yours

ANTONIA.

ANTONIA.

“To-morrow!” he thought; “she's coming tomorrow!” and, leaving his neglected breakfast, he started out to walk off his emotion. His square ran into one of those slums that still rub shoulders with the most distinguished situations, and in it he came upon a little crowd assembled round a dogfight. One of the dogs was being mauled, but the day was muddy, and Shelton, like any well-bred Englishman, had a horror of making himself conspicuous even in a decent cause; he looked for a policeman. One was standing by, to see fair play, and Shelton made appeal to him. The official suggested that he should not have brought out a fighting dog, and advised him to throw cold water over them.

“Tomorrow!” he thought; “she's coming tomorrow!” and, leaving his neglected breakfast behind, he headed out to walk off his emotions. His square led him into one of those slums that still sits next to the most upscale areas, and there he found a small crowd gathered around a dogfight. One of the dogs was getting seriously hurt, but the day was muddy, and Shelton, like any proper Englishman, was embarrassed at drawing attention to himself even for a good reason; he looked for a police officer. One was nearby, watching to ensure fair play, and Shelton appealed to him. The officer suggested that he shouldn't have brought out a fighting dog and advised him to throw cold water over them.

“It is n 't my dog,” said Shelton.

“It’s not my dog,” said Shelton.

“Then I should let 'em be,” remarked the policeman with evident surprise.

“Then I should let them be,” said the policeman, clearly surprised.

Shelton appealed indefinitely to the lower orders. The lower orders, however, were afraid of being bitten.

Shelton had an endless appeal to the lower classes. The lower classes, however, were scared of getting hurt.

“I would n't meddle with that there job if I was you,” said one.

“I wouldn't get involved with that job if I were you,” said one.

“Nasty breed o' dawg is that.”

“Nasty breed of dog is that.”

He was therefore obliged to cast away respectability, spoil his trousers and his gloves, break his umbrella, drop his hat in the mud, and separate the dogs. At the conclusion of the “job,” the lower orders said to him in a rather shamefaced spanner:

He had to give up his respectability, ruin his pants and gloves, break his umbrella, drop his hat in the mud, and separate the dogs. At the end of the “job,” the lower class looked at him in a somewhat embarrassed way:

“Well, I never thought you'd have managed that, sir”; but, like all men of inaction, Shelton after action was more dangerous.

“Well, I never thought you’d pull that off, sir”; but, like all people who don’t take action, Shelton was more dangerous after he had acted.

“D——n it!” he said, “one can't let a dog be killed”; and he marched off, towing the injured dog with his pocket-handkerchief, and looking scornfully at harmless passers-by. Having satisfied for once the smouldering fires within him, he felt entitled to hold a low opinion of these men in the street. “The brutes,” he thought, “won't stir a finger to save a poor dumb creature, and as for policemen—” But, growing cooler, he began to see that people weighted down by “honest toil” could not afford to tear their trousers or get a bitten hand, and that even the policeman, though he had looked so like a demi-god, was absolutely made of flesh and blood. He took the dog home, and, sending for a vet., had him sewn up.

“Damn it!” he said, “you can't just let a dog be killed”; and he marched off, pulling the injured dog with his handkerchief, looking scornfully at innocent passersby. Having finally satisfied the smoldering anger inside him, he felt justified in looking down on these people in the street. “The brutes,” he thought, “won't lift a finger to save a poor helpless creature, and as for the cops—” But as he calmed down, he began to understand that people burdened by “honest work” couldn't risk tearing their pants or getting bitten, and that even the policeman, who had seemed so godlike, was just human. He took the dog home and called for a vet to get him stitched up.

He was already tortured by the doubt whether or no he might venture to meet Antonia at the station, and, after sending his servant with the dog to the address marked on its collar, he formed the resolve to go and see his mother, with some vague notion that she might help him to decide. She lived in Kensington, and, crossing the Brompton Road, he was soon amongst that maze of houses into the fibre of whose structure architects have wrought the motto: “Keep what you have—wives, money, a good address, and all the blessings of a moral state!”

He was already troubled by the uncertainty of whether he should meet Antonia at the station, and after sending his servant with the dog to the address on its collar, he decided to go see his mother, hoping she could help him figure things out. She lived in Kensington, and after crossing the Brompton Road, he quickly found himself in that confusing array of houses where architects had engraved the motto: “Keep what you have—wives, money, a good address, and all the blessings of a moral state!”

Shelton pondered as he passed house after house of such intense respectability that even dogs were known to bark at them. His blood was still too hot; it is amazing what incidents will promote the loftiest philosophy. He had been reading in his favourite review an article eulogising the freedom and expansion which had made the upper middle class so fine a body; and with eyes wandering from side to side he nodded his head ironically. “Expansion and freedom,” ran his thoughts: “Freedom and expansion!”

Shelton thought as he walked past house after house of such serious respectability that even dogs were known to bark at them. His blood was still boiling; it's surprising what events can lead to the highest philosophy. He had been reading an article in his favorite magazine praising the freedom and growth that had made the upper middle class such a remarkable group; and with his eyes drifting from side to side, he nodded his head ironically. “Growth and freedom,” he thought to himself: “Freedom and growth!”

Each house-front was cold and formal, the shell of an owner with from three to five thousand pounds a year, and each one was armoured against the opinion of its neighbours by a sort of daring regularity. “Conscious of my rectitude; and by the strict observance of exactly what is necessary and no more, I am enabled to hold my head up in the world. The person who lives in me has only four thousand two hundred and fifty-five pounds each year, after allowing for the income tax.” Such seemed the legend of these houses.

Each house front was cold and formal, a reflection of an owner making between three and five thousand pounds a year, and every one of them was fortified against the judgments of its neighbors with a kind of bold regularity. “Aware of my integrity; and by sticking to exactly what’s necessary and nothing more, I can keep my head held high in the world. The person living inside me has only four thousand two hundred and fifty-five pounds a year after accounting for income tax.” Such seemed to be the story of these houses.

Shelton passed ladies in ones and twos and threes going out shopping, or to classes of drawing, cooking, ambulance. Hardly any men were seen, and they were mostly policemen; but a few disillusioned children were being wheeled towards the Park by fresh-cheeked nurses, accompanied by a great army of hairy or of hairless dogs.

Shelton walked past women in small groups as they went out shopping or to classes for drawing, cooking, and first aid. He hardly saw any men, and the few he did were mostly police officers; however, a small number of disappointed kids were being pushed toward the park by cheerful nurses, accompanied by a large number of shaggy or bald dogs.

There was something of her brother's large liberality about Mrs. Shelton, a tiny lady with affectionate eyes, warm cheeks, and chilly feet; fond as a cat of a chair by the fire, and full of the sympathy that has no insight. She kissed her son at once with rapture, and, as usual, began to talk of his engagement. For the first time a tremor of doubt ran through her son; his mother's view of it grated on him like the sight of a blue-pink dress; it was too rosy. Her splendid optimism, damped him; it had too little traffic with the reasoning powers.

There was something of her brother's generosity in Mrs. Shelton, a petite woman with warm, affectionate eyes and rosy cheeks, but always with cold feet. She loved nothing more than a cozy spot by the fire and was full of a sympathy that lacked true understanding. She immediately embraced her son with excitement and, as usual, started talking about his engagement. For the first time, a wave of doubt swept through him; his mother's perspective felt off to him, like the sight of a blue-pink dress—it was too idealistic. Her overwhelming optimism discouraged him; it didn't connect enough with rational thought.

“What right,” he asked himself, “has she to be so certain? It seems to me a kind of blasphemy.”

“What right,” he wondered, “does she have to be so sure? It feels like a kind of sacrilege.”

“The dear!” she cooed. “And she is coming back to-morrow? Hurrah! how I long to see her!”

“The dear!” she said excitedly. “And she’s coming back tomorrow? Yay! I can't wait to see her!”

“But you know, mother, we've agreed not to meet again until July.”

“But you know, Mom, we agreed not to see each other again until July.”

Mrs. Shelton rocked her foot, and, holding her head on one side like a little bird, looked at her son with shining eyes.

Mrs. Shelton bounced her foot and, tilting her head to one side like a little bird, gazed at her son with bright, shining eyes.

“Dear old Dick!” she said, “how happy you must be!”

“Dear old Dick!” she said, “you must be so happy!”

Half a century of sympathy with weddings of all sorts—good, bad, indifferent—beamed from her.

Half a century of warmth towards weddings of every type—good, bad, or just okay—shone from her.

“I suppose,” said Shelton gloomily, “I ought not to go and see her at the station.”

“I guess,” said Shelton sadly, “I shouldn’t go and see her at the station.”

“Cheer up!” replied the mother, and her son felt dreadfully depressed.

“Cheer up!” said the mother, but her son felt incredibly down.

That “Cheer-up!”—the panacea which had carried her blind and bright through every evil—was as void of meaning to him as wine without a flavour.

That “Cheer-up!”—the miracle cure that had kept her optimistic and glowing through every hardship—meant nothing to him, like wine without any taste.

“And how is your sciatica?” he asked.

“And how’s your sciatica?” he asked.

“Oh, pretty bad,” returned his mother; “I expect it's all right, really. Cheer up!” She stretched her little figure, canting her head still more.

“Oh, pretty bad,” replied his mother; “I think it's all right, really. Cheer up!” She stretched her small frame, tilting her head even more.

“Wonderful woman!” Shelton thought. She had, in fact, like many of her fellow-countrymen, mislaid the darker side of things, and, enjoying the benefits of orthodoxy with an easy conscience, had kept as young in heart as any girl of thirty.

“Wonderful woman!” Shelton thought. She had, like many of her fellow countrymen, overlooked the darker side of things and, enjoying the perks of conventionality with a clear conscience, had stayed as young at heart as any thirty-year-old girl.

Shelton left her house as doubtful whether he might meet Antonia as when he entered it. He spent a restless afternoon.

Shelton left her house uncertain about whether he'd run into Antonia, just as he had been when he walked in. He had a restless afternoon.

The next day—that of her arrival—was a Sunday. He had made Ferrand a promise to go with him to hear a sermon in the slums, and, catching at any diversion which might allay excitement, he fulfilled it. The preacher in question—an amateur, so Ferrand told him—had an original method of distributing the funds that he obtained. To male sheep he gave nothing, to ugly female sheep a very little, to pretty female sheep the rest. Ferrand hazarded an inference, but he was a foreigner. The Englishman preferred to look upon the preacher as guided by a purely abstract love of beauty. His eloquence, at any rate, was unquestionable, and Shelton came out feeling sick.

The next day—when she arrived—was a Sunday. He had promised Ferrand he would go with him to listen to a sermon in the slums, and, grabbing onto any distraction that might ease his excitement, he went. The preacher in question—an amateur, as Ferrand told him—had a unique way of distributing the funds he collected. He gave nothing to male sheep, very little to ugly female sheep, and the rest to pretty female sheep. Ferrand made a guess about it, but he was a foreigner. The Englishman preferred to think of the preacher as someone guided by a purely abstract love of beauty. His eloquence was undeniable, and Shelton left feeling nauseated.

It was not yet seven o'clock, so, entering an Italian restaurant to kill the half-hour before Antonia's arrival, he ordered a bottle of wine for his companion, a cup of coffee for himself, and, lighting a cigarette, compressed his lips. There was a strange, sweet sinking in his heart. His companion, ignorant of this emotion, drank his wine, crumbled his roll, and blew smoke through his nostrils, glancing caustically at the rows of little tables, the cheap mirrors, the hot, red velvet, the chandeliers. His juicy lips seemed to be murmuring, “Ah! if you only knew of the dirt behind these feathers!” Shelton watched him with disgust. Though his clothes were now so nice, his nails were not quite clean, and his fingertips seemed yellow to the bone. An anaemic waiter in a shirt some four days old, with grease-spots on his garments and a crumpled napkin on his arm, stood leaning an elbow amongst doubtful fruits, and reading an Italian journal. Resting his tired feet in turn, he looked like overwork personified, and when he moved, each limb accused the sordid smartness of the walls. In the far corner sat a lady eating, and, mirrored opposite, her feathered hat, her short, round face, its coat of powder, and dark eyes, gave Shelton a shiver of disgust. His companion's gaze rested long and subtly on her.

It wasn't quite seven o'clock yet, so he stepped into an Italian restaurant to pass the half-hour before Antonia arrived. He ordered a bottle of wine for his friend, a cup of coffee for himself, and after lighting a cigarette, he pressed his lips together. There was a strange, sweet feeling in his heart. His friend, unaware of this emotion, sipped his wine, crumbled his bread roll, and exhaled smoke through his nostrils, casting a sarcastic glance at the rows of small tables, the cheap mirrors, the hot red velvet, and the chandeliers. His full lips seemed to whisper, “If only you knew the dirt behind all this glamour!” Shelton looked at him with disgust. Even though his clothes were nice, his nails weren't clean, and his fingertips looked yellowed. A pale waiter in a shirt that looked like it hadn’t been washed in four days, with grease spots on his clothes and a crumpled napkin on his arm, leaned against a pile of questionable fruit, reading an Italian magazine. As he shifted his tired feet, he seemed to embody exhaustion, and when he moved, every part of him betrayed the shabby elegance of the place. In the far corner, a woman was eating, and reflected in the opposite mirror, her feathered hat, round face caked with powder, and dark eyes gave Shelton a shiver of disgust. His companion's gaze lingered on her.

“Excuse me, monsieur,” he said at length. “I think I know that lady!” And, leaving his host, he crossed the room, bowed, accosted her, and sat down. With Pharisaic delicacy, Shelton refrained from looking. But presently Ferrand came back; the lady rose and left the restaurant; she had been crying. The young foreigner was flushed, his face contorted; he did not touch his wine.

“Excuse me, sir,” he said finally. “I think I know that woman!” And, leaving his host, he walked across the room, bowed, approached her, and sat down. With self-righteous sensitivity, Shelton avoided looking. But soon Ferrand returned; the lady stood up and left the restaurant; she had been crying. The young foreigner was flushed, his face twisted; he didn't touch his wine.

“I was right,” he said; “she is the wife of an old friend. I used to know her well.”

“I was right,” he said; “she's the wife of an old friend. I used to know her really well.”

He was suffering from emotion, but someone less absorbed than Shelton might have noticed a kind of relish in his voice, as though he were savouring life's dishes, and glad to have something new, and spiced with tragic sauce, to set before his patron.

He was dealing with his emotions, but someone less caught up than Shelton might have noticed a hint of enjoyment in his voice, as if he were savoring life's experiences, pleased to present something new, and spiced with a touch of tragedy, to his patron.

“You can find her story by the hundred in your streets, but nothing hinders these paragons of virtue”—he nodded at the stream of carriages—“from turning up their eyes when they see ladies of her sort pass. She came to London—just three years ago. After a year one of her little boys took fever—the shop was avoided—her husband caught it, and died. There she was, left with two children and everything gone to pay the debts. She tried to get work; no one helped her. There was no money to pay anyone to stay with the children; all the work she could get in the house was not enough to keep them alive. She's not a strong woman. Well, she put the children out to nurse, and went to the streets. The first week was frightful, but now she's used to it—one gets used to anything.”

“You can find her story everywhere in your neighborhoods, but nothing stops these so-called paragons of virtue”—he nodded at the flow of carriages—“from turning their noses up when they see ladies like her pass by. She came to London just three years ago. After a year, one of her little boys got a fever—the shop was shunned—her husband caught it and died. There she was, left with two kids and everything gone to pay off the debts. She tried to find work; no one helped her. There was no money to pay anyone to look after the kids; all the work she could get at home wasn’t enough to keep them alive. She’s not a strong woman. Well, she put the kids out to nurse and took to the streets. The first week was terrifying, but now she's gotten used to it—people adjust to anything.”

“Can nothing be done?” asked Shelton, startled.

“Is there nothing we can do?” Shelton asked, shocked.

“No,” returned his companion. “I know that sort; if they once take to it all's over. They get used to luxury. One does n't part with luxury, after tasting destitution. She tells me she does very nicely; the children are happy; she's able to pay well and see them sometimes. She was a girl of good family, too, who loved her husband, and gave up much for him. What would you have? Three quarters of your virtuous ladies placed in her position would do the same if they had the necessary looks.”

“No,” replied his companion. “I know that type; once they get into it, it’s all over. They become accustomed to luxury. You can’t let go of luxury after experiencing poverty. She says she’s doing really well; the kids are happy; she can pay well and see them occasionally. She came from a good family, too, who loved her husband and sacrificed a lot for him. What do you expect? Three-quarters of your virtuous ladies in her situation would do the same if they had the looks.”

It was evident that he felt the shock of this discovery, and Shelton understood that personal acquaintance makes a difference, even in a vagabond.

It was clear that he was taken aback by this discovery, and Shelton realized that knowing someone personally matters, even for a drifter.

“This is her beat,” said the young foreigner, as they passed the illuminated crescent, where nightly the shadows of hypocrites and women fall; and Shelton went from these comments on Christianity to the station of Charing Cross. There, as he stood waiting in the shadow, his heart was in his mouth; and it struck him as odd that he should have come to this meeting fresh from a vagabond's society.

“This is her area,” said the young foreigner, as they walked by the glowing crescent, where the shadows of fake people and women gather every night; and Shelton moved from these remarks about Christianity to the Charing Cross station. There, as he waited in the dark, his heart raced; and he thought it was strange that he had come to this meeting right after being with a group of drifters.

Presently, amongst the stream of travellers, he saw Antonia. She was close to her mother, who was parleying with a footman; behind them were a maid carrying a bandbox and a porter with the travelling-bags. Antonia's figure, with its throat settled in the collar of her cape, slender, tall, severe, looked impatient and remote amongst the bustle. Her eyes, shadowed by the journey, glanced eagerly about, welcoming all she saw; a wisp of hair was loose above her ear, her cheeks glowed cold and rosy. She caught sight of Shelton, and bending her neck, stag-like, stood looking at him; a brilliant smile parted her lips, and Shelton trembled. Here was the embodiment of all he had desired for weeks. He could not tell what was behind that smile of hers—passionate aching or only some ideal, some chaste and glacial intangibility. It seemed to be shining past him into the gloomy station. There was no trembling and uncertainty, no rage of possession in that brilliant smile; it had the gleam of fixedness, like the smiling of a star. What did it matter? She was there, beautiful as a young day, and smiling at him; and she was his, only divided from him by a space of time. He took a step; her eyes fell at once, her face regained aloofness; he saw her, encircled by mother, footman, maid, and porter, take her seat and drive away. It was over; she had seen him, she had smiled, but alongside his delight lurked another feeling, and, by a bitter freak, not her face came up before him but the face of that lady in the restaurant—short, round, and powdered, with black-circled eyes. What right had we to scorn them? Had they mothers, footmen, porters, maids? He shivered, but this time with physical disgust; the powdered face with dark-fringed eyes had vanished; the fair, remote figure of the railway-station came back again.

Currently, among the crowd of travelers, he spotted Antonia. She was near her mother, who was talking to a footman; behind them were a maid carrying a bandbox and a porter with the luggage. Antonia's tall, slender figure, with her neck snug in the collar of her cape, looked impatient and distant amidst the hustle. Her eyes, tired from the journey, eagerly scanned her surroundings, welcoming everything she saw; a strand of hair fell loose above her ear, her cheeks glowed a cool rosy hue. She caught sight of Shelton, and tilting her head slightly, like a deer, she stood there looking at him; a bright smile broke across her face, and Shelton felt a rush of emotion. Here was everything he had wanted for weeks. He couldn’t decipher what lay behind her smile—whether it was a passionate longing or just an ideal, something pure and unapproachable. It seemed to shine past him into the dim station. There was no hesitation or desperation in that radiant smile; it sparkled with certainty, like a star shining down. What did it matter? She was there, as beautiful as a new day, smiling at him; she was his, separated only by a stretch of time. He took a step forward; her gaze dropped immediately, and her expression became distant again; he watched as she, surrounded by her mother, the footman, the maid, and the porter, took her seat and drove away. It was over; she had seen him, she had smiled, but along with his joy came another feeling, and, in a bitter twist, it wasn’t her face that came to mind but the face of that lady in the restaurant—short, round, and powdered, with dark-circled eyes. What right did he have to look down on them? Did they not have mothers, footmen, porters, and maids? He shivered, this time with a sense of physical disgust; the powdered face with the dark-fringed eyes had disappeared, and the fair, distant figure at the train station came back into focus.

He sat long over dinner, drinking, dreaming; he sat long after, smoking, dreaming, and when at length he drove away, wine and dreams fumed in his brain. The dance of lamps, the cream-cheese moon, the rays of clean wet light on his horse's harness, the jingling of the cab bell, the whirring wheels, the night air and the branches—it was all so good! He threw back the hansom doors to feel the touch of the warm breeze. The crowds on the pavement gave him strange delight; they were like shadows, in some great illusion, happy shadows, thronging, wheeling round the single figure of his world.

He lingered over dinner, drinking and daydreaming; he stayed even longer afterward, smoking and lost in thought, and when he finally drove away, wine and dreams buzzed in his head. The flicker of streetlights, the pale moon, the glimmer of fresh wet light on his horse’s harness, the ringing of the cab bell, the spinning wheels, the night air, and the branches—it was all so wonderful! He opened the cab doors to feel the warm breeze. The crowds on the sidewalk gave him a strange pleasure; they were like shadows in some grand illusion, joyful shadows swirling around the central figure of his world.





CHAPTER XII

ROTTEN ROW

With a headache and a sense of restlessness, hopeful and unhappy, Shelton mounted his hack next morning for a gallop in the Park.

With a headache and a feeling of restlessness, both hopeful and unhappy, Shelton got on his horse the next morning for a ride in the Park.

In the sky was mingled all the languor and the violence of the spring. The trees and flowers wore an awakened look in the gleams of light that came stealing down from behind the purple of the clouds. The air was rain-washed, and the passers by seemed to wear an air of tranquil carelessness, as if anxiety were paralysed by their responsibility of the firmament.

In the sky, there was a mix of both the laziness and intensity of spring. The trees and flowers looked alive in the rays of light that filtered through the purple clouds. The air felt fresh from the rain, and the people walking by appeared to have a sense of calm indifference, as if their worries were put on hold by the weight of the sky above them.

Thronged by riders, the Row was all astir.

Crowded with riders, the Row was lively.

Near to Hyde Park Corner a figure by the rails caught Shelton's eye. Straight and thin, one shoulder humped a little, as if its owner were reflecting, clothed in a frock-coat and a brown felt hat pinched up in lawless fashion, this figure was so detached from its surroundings that it would have been noticeable anywhere. It belonged to Ferrand, obviously waiting till it was time to breakfast with his patron. Shelton found pleasure in thus observing him unseen, and sat quietly on his horse, hidden behind a tree.

Near Hyde Park Corner, a figure by the rail caught Shelton's eye. Straight and thin, with one shoulder slightly hunched as if lost in thought, dressed in a frock coat and a brown felt hat worn in an unconventional way, this figure was so out of place that it would have stood out anywhere. It was Ferrand, clearly waiting for the right time to have breakfast with his boss. Shelton enjoyed watching him unnoticed and sat quietly on his horse, hidden behind a tree.

It was just at that spot where riders, unable to get further, are for ever wheeling their horses for another turn; and there Ferrand, the bird of passage, with his head a little to one side, watched them cantering, trotting, wheeling up and down.

It was right at that spot where riders, unable to go any farther, are always turning their horses around for another pass; and there was Ferrand, the wanderer, with his head tilted slightly to one side, watching them as they cantered, trotted, and spun around.

Three men walking along the rails were snatching off their hats before a horsewoman at exactly the same angle and with precisely the same air, as though in the modish performance of this ancient rite they were satisfying some instinct very dear to them.

Three men walking along the tracks were taking off their hats for a horsewoman at the same angle and with the same demeanor, as if in the trendy execution of this old ritual they were fulfilling some instinct very important to them.

Shelton noted the curl of Ferrand's lip as he watched this sight. “Many thanks, gentlemen,” it seemed to say; “in that charming little action you have shown me all your souls.”

Shelton noticed the curl of Ferrand's lip as he observed this scene. “Thanks a lot, guys,” it seemed to say; “in that charming little gesture, you’ve revealed your true selves to me.”

What a singular gift the fellow had of divesting things and people of their garments, of tearing away their veil of shams, and their phylacteries! Shelton turned and cantered on; his thoughts were with Antonia, and he did not want the glamour stripped away.

What a unique talent this guy had for taking away the appearances of things and people, for ripping off their facade and pretenses! Shelton turned and rode on; his mind was with Antonia, and he didn't want the magic taken away.

He was glancing at the sky, that every moment threatened to discharge a violent shower of rain, when suddenly he heard his name called from behind, and who should ride up to him on either side but Bill Dennant and—Antonia herself!

He was looking up at the sky, which seemed ready to burst with a heavy rain at any moment, when suddenly he heard someone call his name from behind. To his surprise, Bill Dennant rode up beside him on one side, and—Antonia herself!

They had been galloping; and she was flushed—flushed as when she stood on the old tower at Hyeres, but with a joyful radiance different from the calm and conquering radiance of that other moment. To Shelton's delight they fell into line with him, and all three went galloping along the strip between the trees and rails. The look she gave him seemed to say, “I don't care if it is forbidden!” but she did not speak. He could not take his eyes off her. How lovely she looked, with the resolute curve of her figure, the glimpse of gold under her hat, the glorious colour in her cheeks, as if she had been kissed.

They had been riding at full speed, and she was flushed—flushed like when she stood on the old tower at Hyeres, but with a joyful glow that was different from the calm and victorious light of that other moment. To Shelton's delight, they fell into line with him, and all three galloped along the path between the trees and the rails. The look she gave him seemed to say, “I don’t care if it’s forbidden!” but she didn’t say anything. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. She looked so lovely, with the determined curve of her figure, the hint of gold peeking out from under her hat, and the vibrant color in her cheeks, as if she had just been kissed.

“It 's so splendid to be at home! Let 's go faster, faster!” she cried out.

“It’s so wonderful to be home! Let’s go faster, faster!” she shouted.

“Take a pull. We shall get run in,” grumbled her brother, with a chuckle.

“Take a sip. We'll get caught,” her brother grumbled with a chuckle.

They reined in round the bend and jogged more soberly down on the far side; still not a word from her to Shelton, and Shelton in his turn spoke only to Bill Dennant. He was afraid to speak to her, for he knew that her mind was dwelling on this chance forbidden meeting in a way quite different from his own.

They pulled up around the bend and jogged more seriously down the far side; still not a word from her to Shelton, and Shelton, in turn, spoke only to Bill Dennant. He was hesitant to talk to her, knowing that her thoughts were focused on this risky, secret meeting in a way that was completely different from his own.

Approaching Hyde Park Corner, where Ferrand was still standing against the rails, Shelton, who had forgotten his existence, suffered a shock when his eyes fell suddenly on that impassive figure. He was about to raise his hand, when he saw that the young foreigner, noting his instinctive feeling, had at once adapted himself to it. They passed again without a greeting, unless that swift inquisition; followed by unconsciousness in Ferrand's eyes, could so be called. But the feeling of idiotic happiness left Shelton; he grew irritated at this silence. It tantalised him more and more, for Bill Dennant had lagged behind to chatter to a friend; Shelton and Antonia were alone, walking their horses, without a word, not even looking at each other. At one moment he thought of galloping ahead and leaving her, then of breaking the vow of muteness she seemed to be imposing on him, and he kept thinking: “It ought to be either one thing or the other. I can't stand this.” Her calmness was getting on his nerves; she seemed to have determined just how far she meant to go, to have fixed cold-bloodedly a limit. In her happy young beauty and radiant coolness she summed up that sane consistent something existing in nine out of ten of the people Shelton knew. “I can't stand it long,” he thought, and all of a sudden spoke; but as he did so she frowned and cantered on. When he caught her she was smiling, lifting her face to catch the raindrops which were falling fast. She gave him just a nod, and waved her hand as a sign for him to go; and when he would not, she frowned. He saw Bill Dennant, posting after them, and, seized by a sense of the ridiculous, lifted his hat, and galloped off.

As they approached Hyde Park Corner, where Ferrand was still leaning against the rails, Shelton, who had completely forgotten about him, was jolted when he suddenly spotted that expressionless figure. He was about to raise his hand in greeting, but he noticed that the young foreigner had immediately adjusted to his instinctive reaction. They passed by each other again without exchanging any words, unless you counted that quick glance, followed by a blank look in Ferrand's eyes. But the feeling of silly happiness faded for Shelton; he became annoyed by the silence. It was increasingly frustrating, especially since Bill Dennant had fallen behind to chat with a friend. Shelton and Antonia were left alone, riding their horses in silence, without even glancing at each other. For a moment, he thought about galloping ahead and leaving her, then about breaking the vow of silence that she seemed to be imposing on him, and he kept thinking, “It should be one thing or the other. I can’t handle this.” Her calmness was getting on his nerves; it felt like she had precisely determined how far she was willing to go, and had coldly set a limit. In her vibrant young beauty and refreshing composure, she embodied that steady, rational quality that existed in nine out of ten people Shelton knew. “I can't take this much longer,” he thought, and suddenly spoke up; but as he did, she frowned and cantered off. When he caught up to her, she was smiling, tilting her face to catch the fast-falling raindrops. She merely nodded and waved her hand for him to go, and when he hesitated, she frowned. He saw Bill Dennant chasing after them, and feeling a sense of absurdity, tipped his hat and galloped away.

The rain was coming down in torrents now, and every one was scurrying for shelter. He looked back from the bend, and could still make out Antonia riding leisurely, her face upturned, and revelling in the shower. Why had n't she either cut him altogether or taken the sweets the gods had sent? It seemed wicked to have wasted such a chance, and, ploughing back to Hyde Park Corner, he turned his head to see if by any chance she had relented.

The rain was pouring down heavily now, and everyone was rushing for cover. He looked back from the bend and could still see Antonia riding slowly, her face turned up, enjoying the rain. Why hadn't she just ignored him completely or accepted the gifts that fate had offered? It felt wrong to have missed such an opportunity, and, heading back to Hyde Park Corner, he turned his head to see if she might have changed her mind.

His irritation was soon gone, but his longing stayed. Was ever anything so beautiful as she had looked with her face turned to the rain? She seemed to love the rain. It suited her—suited her ever so much better than the sunshine of the South. Yes, she was very English! Puzzling and fretting, he reached his rooms. Ferrand had not arrived, in fact did not turn up that day. His non-appearance afforded Shelton another proof of the delicacy that went hand in hand with the young vagrant's cynicism. In the afternoon he received a note.

His irritation quickly faded, but his longing remained. Was there ever anything as beautiful as she looked with her face turned to the rain? She seemed to love the rain. It suited her—so much better than the bright sunshine of the South. Yes, she was very much English! Confused and restless, he reached his rooms. Ferrand hadn't shown up; in fact, he didn't appear that day. His absence provided Shelton with another example of the sensitivity that accompanied the young vagrant's cynicism. In the afternoon, he received a note.

. . . You see, Dick [he read], I ought to have cut you; but I felt too crazy—everything seems so jolly at home, even this stuffy old London. Of course, I wanted to talk to you badly—there are heaps of things one can't say by letter—but I should have been sorry afterwards. I told mother. She said I was quite right, but I don't think she took it in. Don't you feel that the only thing that really matters is to have an ideal, and to keep it so safe that you can always look forward and feel that you have been—I can't exactly express my meaning.

. . . You see, Dick [he read], I should have ignored you; but I felt too overwhelmed—everything seems so cheerful at home, even this stuffy old London. Of course, I really wanted to talk to you—there are so many things you can't say in a letter—but I would have regretted it later. I told mom. She said I was completely right, but I don’t think she fully understood. Don’t you feel like the only thing that really matters is having an ideal, and keeping it so safe that you can always look ahead and feel that you have been—I can't quite put it into words.

Shelton lit a cigarette and frowned. It seemed to him queer that she should set more store by an “ideal” than by the fact that they had met for the first and only time in many weeks.

Shelton lit a cigarette and frowned. It struck him as strange that she would value an “ideal” more than the fact that they had met for the first and only time in many weeks.

“I suppose she 's right,” he thought—“I suppose she 's right. I ought not to have tried to speak to her!” As a matter of fact, he did not at all feel that she was right.

“I guess she’s right,” he thought—“I guess she’s right. I shouldn’t have tried to talk to her!” In reality, he didn’t feel that she was right at all.





CHAPTER XIII

AN “AT HOME”

On Tuesday morning he wandered off to Paddington, hoping for a chance view of her on her way down to Holm Oaks; but the sense of the ridiculous, on which he had been nurtured, was strong enough to keep him from actually entering the station and lurking about until she came. With a pang of disappointment he retraced his steps from Praed Street to the Park, and once there tried no further to waylay her. He paid a round of calls in the afternoon, mostly on her relations; and, seeking out Aunt Charlotte, he dolorously related his encounter in the Row. But she found it “rather nice,” and on his pressing her with his views, she murmured that it was “quite romantic, don't you know.”

On Tuesday morning, he strolled over to Paddington, hoping to catch a glimpse of her on her way to Holm Oaks. However, the sense of absurdity he had grown up with kept him from actually going into the station and waiting around for her arrival. Feeling a wave of disappointment, he walked back from Praed Street to the Park and, once there, decided not to pursue her any further. In the afternoon, he made a few visits, mostly to her relatives. When he found Aunt Charlotte, he sadly recounted his encounter in the Row. But she thought it was "rather nice," and when he pressed her for her opinion, she replied that it was "quite romantic, don’t you know."

“Still, it's very hard,” said Shelton; and he went away disconsolate.

“Still, it's really tough,” said Shelton, and he walked away feeling down.

As he was dressing for dinner his eye fell on a card announcing the “at home” of one of his own cousins. Her husband was a composer, and he had a vague idea that he would find at the house of a composer some quite unusually free kind of atmosphere. After dining at the club, therefore, he set out for Chelsea. The party was held in a large room on the ground-floor, which was already crowded with people when Shelton entered. They stood or sat about in groups with smiles fixed on their lips, and the light from balloon-like lamps fell in patches on their heads and hands and shoulders. Someone had just finished rendering on the piano a composition of his own. An expert could at once have picked out from amongst the applauding company those who were musicians by profession, for their eyes sparkled, and a certain acidity pervaded their enthusiasm. This freemasonry of professional intolerance flew from one to the other like a breath of unanimity, and the faint shrugging of shoulders was as harmonious as though one of the high windows had been opened suddenly, admitting a draught of chill May air.

As he was getting ready for dinner, he noticed a card that mentioned the "at home" gathering of one of his cousins. Her husband was a composer, and he had a vague idea that the atmosphere at a composer's house would be quite relaxed and different. After dining at the club, he headed over to Chelsea. The party was taking place in a large room on the ground floor, which was already bustling with people when Shelton arrived. They stood or sat in groups with smiles plastered on their faces, and the light from balloon-like lamps created patches of illumination on their heads, hands, and shoulders. Someone had just finished playing one of his own pieces on the piano. An expert could have easily spotted the professional musicians among the applauding crowd, as their eyes sparkled and their enthusiasm had a hint of acidity. This shared understanding of professional judgment passed from one person to another like a breath of agreement, and the subtle shrugs of shoulders were as in sync as if one of the high windows had suddenly opened, letting in a chill May breeze.

Shelton made his way up to his cousin—a fragile, grey-haired woman in black velvet and Venetian lace, whose starry eyes beamed at him, until her duties, after the custom of these social gatherings, obliged her to break off conversation just as it began to interest him. He was passed on to another lady who was already talking to two gentlemen, and, their volubility being greater than his own, he fell into the position of observer. Instead of the profound questions he had somehow expected to hear raised, everybody seemed gossiping, or searching the heart of such topics as where to go this summer, or how to get new servants. Trifling with coffee-cups, they dissected their fellow artists in the same way as his society friends of the other night had dissected the fellow—“smart”; and the varnish on the floor, the pictures, and the piano were reflected on all the faces around. Shelton moved from group to group disconsolate.

Shelton made his way to his cousin—a fragile, grey-haired woman in black velvet and Venetian lace, whose sparkling eyes lit up when she saw him, until her responsibilities, as is customary at these social gatherings, forced her to end their conversation just as it started to engage him. He was then passed on to another lady who was already chatting with two men, and since their chatter was louder than his, he found himself in the role of observer. Instead of the deep discussions he had somehow anticipated, everyone seemed to be gossiping or discussing light topics like where to go this summer or how to hire new staff. As they fiddled with their coffee cups, they critiqued their fellow artists just like his social friends had critiqued that “smart” individual the other night; the varnish on the floor, the artwork, and the piano were reflected in the faces around him. Shelton drifted from group to group feeling disheartened.

A tall, imposing person stood under a Japanese print holding the palm of one hand outspread; his unwieldy trunk and thin legs wobbled in concert to his ingratiating voice.

A tall, impressive figure stood under a Japanese print with one hand held out; his awkward body and thin legs swayed together with his charming voice.

“War,” he was saying, “is not necessary. War is not necessary. I hope I make myself clear. War is not necessary; it depends on nationality, but nationality is not necessary.” He inclined his head to one side, “Why do we have nationality? Let us do away with boundaries—let us have the warfare of commerce. If I see France looking at Brighton”—he laid his head upon one side, and beamed at Shelton,—“what do I do? Do I say 'Hands off'. No. 'Take it,' I say—take it!'.rdquo; He archly smiled. “But do you think they would?”

“War,” he was saying, “is not necessary. War is not necessary. I hope I'm making myself clear. War isn’t necessary; it all depends on nationality, but nationality isn't necessary.” He tilted his head to one side, “Why do we have nationality? Let’s get rid of boundaries—let’s engage in the warfare of commerce. If I see France eyeing Brighton”—he laid his head to one side and beamed at Shelton—“what do I do? Do I say 'Hands off'? No. 'Take it,' I say—take it!” He smiled playfully. “But do you think they would?”

And the softness of his contours fascinated Shelton.

And Shelton was captivated by the softness of his features.

“The soldier,” the person underneath the print resumed, “is necessarily on a lower plane—intellectually—oh, intellectually—than the philanthropist. His sufferings are less acute; he enjoys the compensations of advertisement—you admit that?” he breathed persuasively. “For instance—I am quite impersonal—I suffer; but do I talk about it?” But, someone gazing at his well-filled waistcoat, he put his thesis in another form: “I have one acre and one cow, my brother has one acre and one cow: do I seek to take them away from him?”

“The soldier,” the person beneath the print continued, “is necessarily on a lower intellectual level—oh, intellectually—than the philanthropist. His sufferings are less intense; he benefits from the glory of recognition—you agree with that, right?” he said convincingly. “For example—I’m totally impartial—I suffer; but do I discuss it?” But, noticing someone staring at his well-filled waistcoat, he rephrased his point: “I have one acre and one cow, my brother has one acre and one cow: do I try to take them away from him?”

Shelton hazarded, “Perhaps you 're weaker than your brother.”

Shelton suggested, “Maybe you’re weaker than your brother.”

“Come, come! Take the case of women: now, I consider our marriage laws are barbarous.”

“Come on! Look at the situation with women: I think our marriage laws are brutal.”

For the first time Shelton conceived respect for them; he made a comprehensive gesture, and edged himself into the conversation of another group, for fear of having all his prejudices overturned. Here an Irish sculptor, standing in a curve, was saying furiously, “Bees are not bhumpkins, d—-n their sowls!” A Scotch painter, who listened with a curly smile, seemed trying to compromise this proposition, which appeared to have relation to the middle classes; and though agreeing with the Irishman, Shelton felt nervous over his discharge of electricity. Next to them two American ladies, assembled under the tent of hair belonging to a writer of songs, were discussing the emotions aroused in them by Wagner's operas.

For the first time, Shelton felt respect for them; he made a sweeping gesture and joined another group’s conversation, afraid that all his biases would be challenged. An Irish sculptor, standing with a twist, was saying angrily, “Bees are not simpletons, damn their souls!” A Scottish painter, listening with a curly smile, seemed to be trying to make sense of this statement, which seemed to relate to the middle class. Although he agreed with the Irishman, Shelton felt uneasy about the tension in the air. Next to them, two American women, gathered under the hair tent of a songwriter, were talking about the feelings Wagner's operas stirred in them.

“They produce a strange condition of affairs in me,” said the thinner one.

“They create a weird situation for me,” said the thinner one.

“They 're just divine,” said the fatter.

"They're just amazing," said the heavier person.

“I don't know if you can call the fleshly lusts divine,” replied the thinner, looking into the eyes of the writer of the songs.

“I don't know if you can call the physical desires divine,” replied the slimmer one, looking into the eyes of the songwriter.

Amidst all the hum of voices and the fumes of smoke, a sense of formality was haunting Shelton. Sandwiched between a Dutchman and a Prussian poet, he could understand neither of his neighbours; so, assuming an intelligent expression, he fell to thinking that an assemblage of free spirits is as much bound by the convention of exchanging their ideas as commonplace people are by the convention of having no ideas to traffic in. He could not help wondering whether, in the bulk, they were not just as dependent on each other as the inhabitants of Kensington; whether, like locomotives, they could run at all without these opportunities for blowing off the steam, and what would be left when the steam had all escaped. Somebody ceased playing the violin, and close to him a group began discussing ethics. Aspirations were in the air all round, like a lot of hungry ghosts. He realised that, if tongue be given to them, the flavour vanishes from ideas which haunt the soul.

Amid all the chatter and the smoke, Shelton felt a sense of formality overwhelming him. Cramped between a Dutch guy and a Prussian poet, he couldn’t understand either of his neighbors; so, putting on a thoughtful expression, he began to reflect that a gathering of free spirits is just as constrained by the habit of exchanging ideas as ordinary folks are by the habit of having no ideas to share. He couldn’t help but wonder if, overall, they were just as reliant on each other as the residents of Kensington; whether, like trains, they could function at all without those chances to vent their frustrations, and what would remain once the pressure was fully released. Someone stopped playing the violin, and nearby, a group started talking about ethics. Aspirations filled the air all around, like a bunch of starving ghosts. He realized that when given voice, the essence fades from ideas that linger in the soul.

Again the violinist played.

The violinist played again.

“Cock gracious!” said the Prussian poet, falling into English as the fiddle ceased: “Colossal! 'Aber, wie er ist grossartig'.”

“Wow!” said the Prussian poet, switching to English as the fiddle stopped: “Colossal! 'But how magnificent it is'.”

“Have you read that thing of Besom's?” asked shrill voice behind.

“Have you read that thing by Besom?” asked a shrill voice from behind.

“Oh, my dear fellow! too horrid for words; he ought to be hanged!”

“Oh, my dear friend! It's just too terrible to describe; he should be hanged!”

“The man's dreadful,” pursued the voice, shriller than ever; “nothing but a volcanic eruption would cure him.”

“The man is terrible,” the voice continued, even more high-pitched; “only a volcanic eruption could fix him.”

Shelton turned in alarm to look at the authors of these statements. They were two men of letters talking of a third.

Shelton turned suddenly to see who was making these comments. They were two writers discussing a third.

“'C'est un grand naif, vous savez,'.rdquo; said the second speaker.

“'He's such a big naïf, you know,'” said the second speaker.

“These fellows don't exist,” resumed the first; his small eyes gleamed with a green light, his whole face had a look as if he gnawed himself. Though not a man of letters, Shelton could not help recognising from those eyes what joy it was to say those words: “These fellows don't exist!”

“These guys don’t exist,” the first one continued; his small eyes sparkled with a green light, and his whole face looked as if he were gnawing at himself. Although he wasn’t well-read, Shelton couldn’t help but see in those eyes how joyous it was to say those words: “These guys don’t exist!”

“Poor Besom! You know what Moulter said . . .”

“Poor Besom! You know what Moulter said...”

Shelton turned away, as if he had been too close to one whose hair smelt of cantharides; and, looking round the room, he frowned. With the exception of his cousin, he seemed the only person there of English blood. Americans, Mesopotamians, Irish, Italians, Germans, Scotch, and Russians. He was not contemptuous of them for being foreigners; it was simply that God and the climate had made him different by a skin or so.

Shelton turned away, as if he had been too close to someone whose hair smelled like cantharides, and looked around the room, frowning. Aside from his cousin, he seemed to be the only person of English descent there. There were Americans, Mesopotamians, Irish, Italians, Germans, Scots, and Russians. He didn’t look down on them for being foreign; it was just that God and the climate had made him different by a skin or two.

But at this point his conclusions were denied (as will sometimes happen) by his introduction to an Englishman—a Major Somebody, who, with smooth hair and blond moustache, neat eyes and neater clothes, seemed a little anxious at his own presence there. Shelton took a liking to him, partly from a fellow-feeling, and partly because of the gentle smile with which he was looking at his wife. Almost before he had said “How do you do?” he was plunged into a discussion on imperialism.

But at this point, his conclusions were challenged (as can sometimes happen) by his meeting an Englishman—a Major Somebody, who, with slicked-back hair and a light mustache, neat eyes and even neater clothes, appeared a bit uneasy about being there. Shelton liked him, partly out of camaraderie and partly because of the soft smile he had while looking at Shelton's wife. Almost before he had said “How do you do?” they were deep in a discussion about imperialism.

“Admitting all that,” said Shelton, “what I hate is the humbug with which we pride ourselves on benefiting the whole world by our so-called civilising methods.”

“Admitting all that,” said Shelton, “what I hate is the nonsense we take pride in, claiming we're benefiting the whole world with our so-called civilizing methods.”

The soldier turned his reasonable eyes.

The soldier turned his thoughtful gaze.

“But is it humbug?”

“But is it fake?”

Shelton saw his argument in peril. If we really thought it, was it humbug? He replied, however:

Shelton realized his argument was at risk. If we truly believed it, was it just nonsense? He responded, however:

“Why should we, a small portion of the world's population, assume that our standards are the proper ones for every kind of race? If it 's not humbug, it 's sheer stupidity.”

“Why should we, a small part of the world's population, think that our standards are the right ones for every race? If it's not nonsense, it's just plain stupid.”

The soldier, without taking his hands out of his pockets, but by a forward movement of his face showing that he was both sincere and just, re-replied:

The soldier, keeping his hands in his pockets but leaning forward to show that he was both sincere and fair, replied again:

“Well, it must be a good sort of stupidity; it makes us the nation that we are.”

“Well, it’s probably a good kind of foolishness; it makes us the nation we are.”

Shelton felt dazed. The conversation buzzed around him; he heard the smiling prophet saying, “Altruism, altruism,” and in his voice a something seemed to murmur, “Oh, I do so hope I make a good impression!”

Shelton felt dazed. The conversation buzzed around him; he heard the smiling prophet saying, “Altruism, altruism,” and in his voice, something seemed to murmur, “Oh, I really hope I make a good impression!”

He looked at the soldier's clear-cut head with its well-opened eyes, the tiny crow's-feet at their corners, the conventional moustache; he envied the certainty of the convictions lying under that well-parted hair.

He looked at the soldier's clean-shaven head with its wide-open eyes, the little crow's-feet at the corners, the standard mustache; he envied the confidence of the beliefs hidden beneath that neatly parted hair.

“I would rather we were men first and then Englishmen,” he muttered; “I think it's all a sort of national illusion, and I can't stand illusions.”

“I’d prefer if we were men first and then Englishmen,” he muttered; “I believe it’s all a kind of national illusion, and I can’t stand illusions.”

“If you come to that,” said the soldier, “the world lives by illusions. I mean, if you look at history, you'll see that the creation of illusions has always been her business, don't you know.”

“If you think about it,” said the soldier, “the world runs on illusions. I mean, if you look at history, you'll see that creating illusions has always been its game, you know.”

This Shelton was unable to deny.

This Shelton couldn't deny.

“So,” continued the soldier (who was evidently a highly cultivated man), “if you admit that movement, labour, progress, and all that have been properly given to building up these illusions, that—er—in fact, they're what you might call—er—the outcome of the world's crescendo,” he rushed his voice over this phrase as if ashamed of it—“why do you want to destroy them?”

“So,” continued the soldier (who was clearly a highly educated man), “if you agree that movement, labor, progress, and all that have been properly invested in creating these illusions, that—um—in fact, they're sort of—um—the result of the world's crescendo,” he hurried through this phrase as if embarrassed by it—“why do you want to destroy them?”

Shelton thought a moment, then, squeezing his body with his folded arms, replied:

Shelton thought for a moment, then, hugging himself with his crossed arms, replied:

“The past has made us what we are, of course, and cannot be destroyed; but how about the future? It 's surely time to let in air. Cathedrals are very fine, and everybody likes the smell of incense; but when they 've been for centuries without ventilation you know what the atmosphere gets like.”

“The past has shaped who we are, and it can’t be erased; but what about the future? It’s definitely time to let in some fresh air. Cathedrals are beautiful, and everyone enjoys the scent of incense; but after centuries without ventilation, you know what the air becomes like.”

The soldier smiled.

The soldier grinned.

“By your own admission,” he said, “you'll only be creating a fresh set of illusions.”

“By your own admission,” he said, “you'll just be creating a new set of illusions.”

“Yes,” answered Shelton, “but at all events they'll be the honest necessities of the present.”

“Yes,” answered Shelton, “but either way, they’ll be the honest necessities of the moment.”

The pupils of the soldier's eyes contracted; he evidently felt the conversation slipping into generalities; he answered:

The soldier's eyes narrowed; he clearly sensed the conversation drifting into vague topics; he replied:

“I can't see how thinking small beer of ourselves is going to do us any good!”

“I can't see how thinking little of ourselves is going to help us at all!”

An “At Home!”

An "At Home!"

Shelton felt in danger of being thought unpractical in giving vent to the remark:

Shelton felt he might be seen as impractical for expressing the comment:

“One must trust one's reason; I never can persuade myself that I believe in what I don't.”

“One must trust their reason; I can never convince myself that I believe in what I don't.”

A minute later, with a cordial handshake, the soldier left, and Shelton watched his courteous figure shepherding his wife away.

A minute later, after a friendly handshake, the soldier left, and Shelton watched as his polite figure guided his wife away.

“Dick, may I introduce you to Mr. Wilfrid Curly?” said his cousin's voice behind, and he found his hand being diffidently shaken by a fresh-cheeked youth with a dome-like forehead, who was saying nervously:

“Hey Dick, can I introduce you to Mr. Wilfrid Curly?” said his cousin’s voice from behind, and he felt his hand being shyly shaken by a fresh-faced young guy with a rounded forehead, who was speaking nervously:

“How do you do? Yes, I am very well, thank you!”

“How are you? Yes, I’m doing great, thank you!”

He now remembered that when he had first come in he had watched this youth, who had been standing in a corner indulging himself in private smiles. He had an uncommon look, as though he were in love with life—as though he regarded it as a creature to whom one could put questions to the very end—interesting, humorous, earnest questions. He looked diffident, and amiable, and independent, and he, too, was evidently English.

He now recalled that when he had first entered, he had seen this young man standing in a corner, enjoying some private smiles. He had a unique appearance, as if he were in love with life—like he viewed it as a being to whom he could ask deep, interesting, and funny questions until the very end. He looked shy, friendly, and self-reliant, and he, too, was clearly English.

“Are you good at argument?” said Shelton, at a loss for a remark.

“Are you good at arguing?” Shelton said, struggling to find something to say.

The youth smiled, blushed, and, putting back his hair, replied:

The young man smiled, blushed, and, brushing his hair back, replied:

“Yes—no—I don't know; I think my brain does n't work fast enough for argument. You know how many motions of the brain-cells go to each remark. It 's awfully interesting”; and, bending from the waist in a mathematical position, he extended the palm of one hand, and started to explain.

“Yes—no—I don’t know; I think my brain doesn’t work fast enough for an argument. You know how many signals the brain cells send for each remark. It’s really interesting,” and, leaning forward in a mathematical way, he opened up one hand and began to explain.

Shelton stared at the youth's hand, at his frowns and the taps he gave his forehead while he found the expression of his meaning; he was intensely interested. The youth broke off, looked at his watch, and, blushing brightly, said:

Shelton stared at the young man's hand, at his frowns and the taps he gave his forehead as he tried to express what he meant; he was really intrigued. The young man stopped, glanced at his watch, and, blushing fiercely, said:

“I 'm afraid I have to go; I have to be at the 'Den' before eleven.”

“I'm afraid I have to leave; I need to be at the 'Den' before eleven.”

“I must be off, too,” said Shelton. Making their adieux together, they sought their hats and coats.

“I have to go, too,” said Shelton. Saying their goodbyes together, they looked for their hats and coats.





CHAPTER XIV

THE NIGHT CLUB

“May I ask,” said Shelton, as he and the youth came out into the chilly street, “What it is you call the 'Den'.”

“Can I ask,” said Shelton, as he and the young man stepped out into the chilly street, “what you mean by the 'Den'?”

His companion smilingly answered:

His friend replied with a smile:

“Oh, the night club. We take it in turns. Thursday is my night. Would you like to come? You see a lot of types. It's only round the corner.”

“Oh, the nightclub. We take turns. Thursday is my night. Would you like to come? You see all sorts of people. It's just around the corner.”

Shelton digested a momentary doubt, and answered:

Shelton took a moment to process his doubt and replied:

“Yes, immensely.”

“Yeah, totally.”

They reached the corner house in an angle of a dismal street, through the open door of which two men had just gone in. Following, they ascended some wooden, fresh-washed stairs, and entered a large boarded room smelling of sawdust, gas, stale coffee, and old clothes. It was furnished with a bagatelle board, two or three wooden tables, some wooden forms, and a wooden bookcase. Seated on these wooden chairs, or standing up, were youths, and older men of the working class, who seemed to Shelton to be peculiarly dejected. One was reading, one against the wall was drinking coffee with a disillusioned air, two were playing chess, and a group of four made a ceaseless clatter with the bagatelle.

They arrived at the corner house on a gloomy street, just as two men walked through the open door. Following them, they climbed some freshly cleaned wooden stairs and stepped into a large, bare room that smelled of sawdust, gas, stale coffee, and worn-out clothes. It was equipped with a bagatelle board, two or three wooden tables, some wooden benches, and a wooden bookshelf. Sitting on these wooden chairs, or standing, were young people and older working-class men who appeared particularly downcast to Shelton. One person was reading, another was leaning against the wall sipping coffee with a disillusioned look, two were playing chess, and a group of four made a constant noise with the bagatelle.

A little man in a dark suit, with a pale face, thin lips, and deep-set, black-encircled eyes, who was obviously in charge, came up with an anaemic smile.

A small man in a dark suit, with a pale face, thin lips, and deep-set, dark-ringed eyes, who clearly seemed in charge, approached with a weak smile.

“You 're rather late,” he said to Curly, and, looking ascetically at Shelton, asked, without waiting for an introduction: “Do you play chess? There 's young Smith wants a game.”

“You're a bit late,” he said to Curly, and, looking sternly at Shelton, asked, without waiting for an introduction: “Do you play chess? Young Smith wants to play a game.”

A youth with a wooden face, already seated before a fly-blown chess-board, asked him drearily if he would have black or white. Shelton took white; he was oppressed by the virtuous odour of this room.

A young man with a blank expression, already sitting in front of a dusty chess board, asked him tiredly if he wanted to play with black or white pieces. Shelton chose white; he felt weighed down by the stale smell in the room.

The little man with the deep blue eyes came up, stood in an uneasy attitude, and watched:

The little man with the deep blue eyes approached, stood awkwardly, and observed:

“Your play's improving, young Smith,” he said; “I should think you'd be able to give Banks a knight.” His eyes rested on Shelton, fanatical and dreary; his monotonous voice was suffering and nasal; he was continually sucking in his lips, as though determined to subdue 'the flesh. “You should come here often,” he said to Shelton, as the latter received checkmate; “you 'd get some good practice. We've several very fair players. You're not as good as Jones or Bartholomew,” he added to Shelton's opponent, as though he felt it a duty to put the latter in his place. “You ought to come here often,” he repeated to Shelton; “we have a lot of very good young fellows”; and, with a touch of complacence, he glanced around the dismal room. “There are not so many here tonight as usual. Where are Toombs and Body?”

“Your game is getting better, young Smith,” he said. “I think you’ll be able to give Banks a run for his money.” His gaze settled on Shelton, intense and gloomy; his droning voice sounded strained and nasal. He kept sucking in his lips, as if trying to control 'the flesh.' “You should come here more often,” he said to Shelton as the latter faced checkmate. “You’d get some good practice. We have several pretty decent players." He added to Shelton's opponent, "You're not as good as Jones or Bartholomew,” as if he felt it necessary to put the latter in his place. “You really should come here more often,” he said again to Shelton. “We have a lot of very good young guys,” and, with a hint of satisfaction, he looked around the dreary room. “There aren’t as many people here tonight as usual. Where are Toombs and Body?”

Shelton, too, looked anxiously around. He could not help feeling sympathy with Toombs and Body.

Shelton also looked around nervously. He couldn’t help but feel sympathy for Toombs and Body.

“They 're getting slack, I'm afraid,” said the little deep-eyed man. “Our principle is to amuse everyone. Excuse me a minute; I see that Carpenter is doing nothing.” He crossed over to the man who had been drinking coffee, but Shelton had barely time to glance at his opponent and try to think of a remark, before the little man was back. “Do you know anything about astronomy?” he asked of Shelton. “We have several very interested in astronomy; if you could talk to them a little it would help.”

“They're getting careless, I’m afraid,” said the little deep-eyed man. “Our goal is to entertain everyone. Hold on a second; I see that Carpenter isn’t doing anything.” He went over to the man who had been drinking coffee, but Shelton barely had time to look at his opponent and think of something to say before the little man returned. “Do you know anything about astronomy?” he asked Shelton. “We have several people who are really interested in astronomy; if you could chat with them a bit, it would be helpful.”

Shelton made a motion of alarm.

Shelton made a gesture of warning.

“Please-no,” said he; “I—”

“Please, no,” he said; “I—”

“I wish you'd come sometimes on Wednesdays; we have most interesting talks, and a service afterwards. We're always anxious to get new blood”; and his eyes searched Shelton's brown, rather tough-looking face, as though trying to see how much blood there was in it. “Young Curly says you 've just been around the world; you could describe your travels.”

“I wish you'd come by sometimes on Wednesdays; we have really interesting discussions and a service afterward. We're always eager to get new people,” he said, looking closely at Shelton's brown, somewhat rough-looking face, as if trying to gauge how lively it was. “Young Curly mentioned you've just traveled around the world; you could share your experiences.”

“May I ask,” said Shelton, “how your club is made up?”

“Can I ask,” Shelton said, “what your club is like?”

Again a look of complacency, and blessed assuagement, visited the little man.

Again, a look of satisfaction and relief came over the little man.

“Oh,” he said, “we take anybody, unless there 's anything against them. The Day Society sees to that. Of course, we shouldn't take anyone if they were to report against them. You ought to come to our committee meetings; they're on Mondays at seven. The women's side, too—”

“Oh,” he said, “we welcome anyone, unless there's something wrong with them. The Day Society makes sure of that. Of course, we wouldn’t accept anyone who was going to report them. You should come to our committee meetings; they’re on Mondays at seven. The women’s side, too—”

“Thank you,” said Shelton; “you 're very kind—”

“Thank you,” Shelton said, “you’re very kind—”

“We should be pleased,” said the little man; and his face seemed to suffer more than ever. “They 're mostly young fellows here to-night, but we have married men, too. Of course, we 're very careful about that,” he added hastily, as though he might have injured Shelton's prejudices—“that, and drink, and anything criminal, you know.”

“We should be happy,” said the little man; and his face seemed to show even more distress. “There are mostly young guys here tonight, but there are married men, too. Of course, we’re very careful about that,” he added quickly, as if he might have offended Shelton's beliefs—“that, and alcohol, and anything illegal, you know.”

“And do you give pecuniary assistance, too?”

“And do you provide financial help as well?”

“Oh yes,” replied the little man; “if you were to come to our committee meetings you would see for yourself. Everything is most carefully gone into; we endeavour to sift the wheat from the chaff.”

“Oh yes,” replied the little man; “if you came to our committee meetings, you would see for yourself. Everything is examined thoroughly; we try to separate the valuable things from the worthless ones.”

“I suppose,” said Shelton, “you find a great deal of chaff?”

“I guess,” said Shelton, “you come across a lot of useless stuff?”

The little man smiled a suffering smile. The twang of his toneless voice sounded a trifle shriller.

The little man smiled a pained smile. The pitch of his flat voice sounded a bit higher.

“I was obliged to refuse a man to-day—a man and a woman, quite young people, with three small children. He was ill and out of work; but on inquiry we found that they were not man and wife.”

“I had to turn away a couple today—a guy and a girl, pretty young, with three little kids. He was sick and unemployed; but when we looked into it, we discovered that they weren't actually married.”

There was a slight pause; the little man's eyes were fastened on his nails, and, with an appearance of enjoyment, he began to bite them. Shelton's face had grown a trifle red.

There was a brief pause; the little man's eyes were focused on his nails, and, seeming to enjoy it, he started biting them. Shelton's face had turned a bit red.

“And what becomes of the woman and the children in a case like that?” he said.

“And what happens to the woman and the kids in a situation like that?” he asked.

The little man's eyes began to smoulder.

The little man's eyes started to smolder.

“We make a point of not encouraging sin, of course. Excuse me a minute; I see they've finished bagatelle.”

“We make it a priority not to promote sin, of course. Hold on a second; I see they’ve finished bagatelle.”

He hurried off, and in a moment the clack of bagatelle began again. He himself was playing with a cold and spurious energy, running after the balls and exhorting the other players, upon whom a wooden acquiescence seemed to fall.

He rushed away, and soon the sound of bagatelle started up again. He was playing with a cold and fake energy, chasing after the balls and urging the other players, who seemed to respond with a wooden agreement.

Shelton crossed the room, and went up to young Curly. He was sitting on a bench, smiling to himself his private smiles.

Shelton walked across the room and approached young Curly. He was sitting on a bench, smiling to himself with his private smiles.

“Are you staying here much longer?” Shelton asked.

“Are you going to be here much longer?” Shelton asked.

Young Curly rose with nervous haste.

Young Curly got up quickly, feeling anxious.

“I 'm afraid,” he said, “there 's nobody very interesting here to-night.”

“I’m afraid,” he said, “there's nobody really interesting here tonight.”

“Oh, not at all!” said Shelton; “on the contrary. Only I 've had a rather tiring day, and somehow I don't feel up to the standard here.”

“Oh, not at all!” said Shelton; “on the contrary. I’ve just had a pretty exhausting day, and for some reason, I don't feel like I'm at the same level here.”

His new acquaintance smiled.

His new friend smiled.

“Oh, really! do you think—that is—”

“Oh, really! Do you think—that is—”

But he had not time to finish before the clack of bagatelle balls ceased, and the voice of the little deep-eyed man was heard saying: “Anybody who wants a book will put his name down. There will be the usual prayer-meeting on Wednesday next. Will you all go quietly? I am going to turn the lights out.”

But he didn’t have time to finish before the sound of the bagatelle balls stopped, and the voice of the little deep-eyed man was heard saying: “Anyone who wants a book should write their name down. There will be the usual prayer meeting next Wednesday. Can you all leave quietly? I’m going to turn off the lights.”

One gas-jet vanished, and the remaining jet flared suddenly. By its harder glare the wooden room looked harder too, and disenchanting. The figures of its occupants began filing through the door. The little man was left in the centre of the room, his deep eyes smouldering upon the backs of the retreating members, his thumb and finger raised to the turncock of the metre.

One gas jet went out, and the other one flared up suddenly. The brighter light made the wooden room look harsher and less inviting. The people in the room started to leave through the door. The little man remained in the center of the room, his intense eyes burning into the backs of those departing, his thumb and finger poised over the valve of the meter.

“Do you know this part?” asked young Curly as they emerged into the street. “It 's really jolly; one of the darkest bits in London—it is really. If you care, I can take you through an awfully dangerous place where the police never go.” He seemed so anxious for the honour that Shelton was loath to disappoint him. “I come here pretty often,” he went on, as they ascended a sort of alley rambling darkly between a wall and row of houses.

“Do you know this area?” asked young Curly as they stepped out onto the street. “It’s really fun; one of the darkest spots in London—it really is. If you’re interested, I can take you through a super dangerous place where the police never go.” He seemed so eager for the chance that Shelton was reluctant to let him down. “I come here pretty often,” he continued, as they climbed a sort of alley winding darkly between a wall and a row of houses.

“Why?” asked Shelton; “it does n't smell too nice.”

“Why?” asked Shelton; “it doesn't smell great.”

The young man threw up his nose and sniffed, as if eager to add any new scent that might be about to his knowledge of life.

The young man lifted his nose and sniffed, as if he was eager to add any new scent to his understanding of life.

“No, that's one of the reasons, you know,” he said; “one must find out. The darkness is jolly, too; anything might happen here. Last week there was a murder; there 's always the chance of one.”

“No, that's one of the reasons, you know,” he said; “one has to find out. The darkness is fun, too; anything could happen here. Last week there was a murder; there’s always a chance of one.”

Shelton stared; but the charge of morbidness would not lie against this fresh-cheeked stripling.

Shelton stared, but the accusation of being morbid didn't apply to this youthful kid with rosy cheeks.

“There's a splendid drain just here,” his guide resumed; “the people are dying like flies of typhoid in those three houses”; and under the first light he turned his grave, cherubic face to indicate the houses. “If we were in the East End, I could show you other places quite as good. There's a coffee-stall keeper in one that knows all the thieves in London; he 's a splendid type, but,” he added, looking a little anxiously at Shelton, “it might n't be safe for you. With me it's different; they 're beginning to know me. I've nothing to take, you see.”

“There's a terrible drainage issue right here,” his guide continued; “people are dropping like flies from typhoid in those three houses.” He turned his serious, cherubic face to point out the houses under the first light. “If we were in the East End, I could show you other places just as bad. There's a coffee-stall owner in one who knows all the thieves in London; he's quite a character, but,” he added, glancing a bit nervously at Shelton, “it might not be safe for you. It's different for me; they’re starting to recognize me. I have nothing to lose, you see.”

“I'm afraid it can't be to-night,” said Shelton; “I must get back.”

“I'm sorry, but I can't tonight,” said Shelton; “I need to head back.”

“Do you mind if I walk with you? It's so jolly now the stars are out.”

“Do you mind if I walk with you? It’s so nice now that the stars are out.”

“Delighted,” said Shelton; “do you often go to that club?”

“Great!” said Shelton; “do you go to that club often?”

His companion raised his hat, and ran his fingers through his hair.

His friend tipped his hat and ran his fingers through his hair.

“They 're rather too high-class for me,” he said. “I like to go where you can see people eat—school treats, or somewhere in the country. It does one good to see them eat. They don't get enough, you see, as a rule, to make bone; it's all used up for brain and muscle. There are some places in the winter where they give them bread and cocoa; I like to go to those.”

“They’re a bit too fancy for me,” he said. “I prefer to go places where you can watch people eat—like school events or somewhere out in the country. It’s nice to see them eat. They usually don’t get enough food to build strong bodies; it all goes to their brains and muscles. There are some places in the winter where they serve bread and cocoa; I enjoy going to those.”

“I went once,” said Shelton, “but I felt ashamed for putting my nose in.”

“I went once,” said Shelton, “but I felt embarrassed for sticking my nose in.”

“Oh, they don't mind; most of them are half-dead with cold, you know. You see splendid types; lots of dipsomaniacs . . . . It 's useful to me,” he went on as they passed a police-station, “to walk about at night; one can take so much more notice. I had a jolly night last week in Hyde Park; a chance to study human nature there.”

“Oh, they don’t care; most of them are freezing to death, you know. You see some amazing characters; lots of alcoholics... It’s useful for me,” he continued as they walked past a police station, “to stroll around at night; you can observe so much more. I had a great night last week in Hyde Park; it was a perfect opportunity to study human nature there.”

“And do you find it interesting?” asked Shelton.

“Do you find it interesting?” Shelton asked.

His companion smiled.

His friend smiled.

“Awfully,” he replied; “I saw a fellow pick three pockets.”

“Really bad,” he replied; “I saw a guy pick three pockets.”

“What did you do?”

"What did you do?"

“I had a jolly talk with him.”

“I had a great conversation with him.”

Shelton thought of the little deep-eyed man; who made a point of not encouraging sin.

Shelton thought of the small, deep-eyed man who made it a point to avoid encouraging sin.

“He was one of the professionals from Notting Hill, you know; told me his life. Never had a chance, of course. The most interesting part was telling him I 'd seen him pick three pockets—like creeping into a cave, when you can't tell what 's inside.”

“He was one of the pros from Notting Hill, you know; shared his life story with me. He never really had a chance, of course. The most fascinating part was telling him I’d seen him pick three pockets—like sneaking into a cave when you can’t see what’s inside.”

“Well?”

"What's up?"

“He showed me what he 'd got—only fivepence halfpenny.”

“He showed me what he had—only five and a half pence.”

“And what became of your friend?” asked Shelton.

“And what happened to your friend?” asked Shelton.

“Oh, went off; he had a splendidly low forehead.”

“Oh, he left; he had an impressively low forehead.”

They had reached Shelton's rooms.

They had arrived at Shelton's room.

“Will you come in,” said the latter, “and have a drink?”

“Will you come in,” the latter said, “and have a drink?”

The youth smiled, blushed, and shook his head.

The young man smiled, blushed, and shook his head.

“No, thank you,” he said; “I have to walk to Whitechapel. I 'm living on porridge now; splendid stuff for making bone. I generally live on porridge for a week at the end of every month. It 's the best diet if you're hard up”; once more blushing and smiling, he was gone.

“No, thanks,” he said; “I have to walk to Whitechapel. I’m living on porridge now; great stuff for building strong bones. I usually eat porridge for a week at the end of every month. It’s the best diet if you’re short on cash.” Once again blushing and smiling, he left.

Shelton went upstairs and sat down on his bed. He felt a little miserable. Sitting there, slowly pulling out the ends of his white tie, disconsolate, he had a vision of Antonia with her gaze fixed wonderingly on him. And this wonder of hers came as a revelation—just as that morning, when, looking from his window, he had seen a passer-by stop suddenly and scratch his leg; and it had come upon him in a flash that that man had thoughts and feelings of his own. He would never know what Antonia really felt and thought. “Till I saw her at the station, I did n't know how much I loved her or how little I knew her”; and, sighing deeply, he hurried into bed.

Shelton went upstairs and sat down on his bed. He felt a bit miserable. Sitting there and slowly pulling at the ends of his white tie, feeling lost, he imagined Antonia looking at him with a look of wonder. Her wonder felt like a revelation—just like that morning when he had seen a passerby stop suddenly and scratch his leg, and he realized in an instant that the man had his own thoughts and feelings. He would never truly understand what Antonia felt or thought. “Until I saw her at the station, I didn’t realize how much I loved her or how little I knew her,” and with a deep sigh, he quickly got into bed.





CHAPTER XV

POLE TO POLE

The waiting in London for July to come was daily more unbearable to Shelton, and if it had not been for Ferrand, who still came to breakfast, he would have deserted the Metropolis. On June first the latter presented himself rather later than was his custom, and announced that, through a friend, he had heard of a position as interpreter to an hotel at Folkestone.

The wait for July in London was becoming increasingly unbearable for Shelton, and if it hadn't been for Ferrand, who still showed up for breakfast, he would have left the city. On June first, Ferrand arrived later than usual and mentioned that, through a friend, he had learned about a job as an interpreter at a hotel in Folkestone.

“If I had money to face the first necessities,” he said, swiftly turning over a collection of smeared papers with his yellow fingers, as if searching for his own identity, “I 'd leave today. This London blackens my spirit.”

“If I had the money for basic needs,” he said, swiftly flipping through a pile of smudged papers with his yellow fingers, like he was searching for his own identity, “I’d leave today. This London is draining my spirit.”

“Are you certain to get this place,” asked Shelton.

“Are you sure you want to get this place?” asked Shelton.

“I think so,” the young foreigner replied; “I 've got some good enough recommendations.”

“I think so,” the young foreigner replied, “I have some pretty good recommendations.”

Shelton could not help a dubious glance at the papers in his hand. A hurt look passed on to Ferrand's curly lips beneath his nascent red moustache.

Shelton couldn't help but give a skeptical look at the papers in his hand. A hurt expression crossed Ferrand's curly lips beneath his budding red mustache.

“You mean that to have false papers is as bad as theft. No, no; I shall never be a thief—I 've had too many opportunities,” said he, with pride and bitterness. “That's not in my character. I never do harm to anyone. This”—he touched the papers—“is not delicate, but it does harm to no one. If you have no money you must have papers; they stand between you and starvation. Society, has an excellent eye for the helpless—it never treads on people unless they 're really down.” He looked at Shelton.

“You're saying having fake documents is just as bad as stealing. No way; I will never be a thief—I’ve had too many chances,” he said, feeling both proud and bitter. “That’s not who I am. I never hurt anyone. These”—he gestured to the documents—“aren’t exactly honest, but they don’t hurt anyone. If you don’t have money, you need papers; they’re what keep you from starving. Society has a keen eye for the vulnerable—it only stomps on people when they’re already down.” He looked at Shelton.

“You 've made me what I am, amongst you,” he seemed to say; “now put up with me!”

“You’ve made me who I am, being around you,” he seemed to say; “now deal with me!”

“But there are always the workhouses,” Shelton remarked at last.

“But there are always the workhouses,” Shelton said finally.

“Workhouses!” returned Ferrand; “certainly there are—regular palaces: I will tell you one thing: I've never been in places so discouraging as your workhouses; they take one's very heart out.”

“Workhouses!” Ferrand replied. “Sure, there are—real palaces. Let me tell you one thing: I've never been in places as disheartening as your workhouses; they really drain the life out of you.”

“I always understood,” said Shelton coldly; “that our system was better than that of other countries.”

“I always understood,” Shelton said coldly, “that our system was better than those of other countries.”

Ferrand leaned over in his chair, an elbow on his knee, his favourite attitude when particularly certain of his point.

Ferrand leaned in his chair, resting an elbow on his knee, his favorite position when he was especially confident in his point.

“Well,” he replied, “it 's always permissible to think well of your own country. But, frankly, I've come out of those places here with little strength and no heart at all, and I can tell you why.” His lips lost their bitterness, and he became an artist expressing the result of his experience. “You spend your money freely, you have fine buildings, self-respecting officers, but you lack the spirit of hospitality. The reason is plain; you have a horror of the needy. You invite us—and when we come you treat us justly enough, but as if we were numbers, criminals, beneath contempt—as if we had inflicted a personal injury on you; and when we get out again, we are naturally degraded.”

“Well,” he replied, “it’s always okay to think highly of your own country. But honestly, I’ve left those places feeling drained and heartbroken, and I can tell you why.” His expression softened, and he became like an artist sharing the lessons from his experience. “You spend your money generously, you have impressive buildings, respectable officers, but you lack a welcoming spirit. The reason is clear; you’re afraid of the needy. You invite us—and when we arrive you treat us fairly enough, but as if we’re just numbers, criminals, beneath you—like we’ve done something personal to hurt you; and when we leave again, we feel degraded.”

Shelton bit his lips.

Shelton bit his lips.

“How much money will you want for your ticket, and to make a start?” he asked.

“How much money do you want for your ticket and to get started?” he asked.

The nervous gesture escaping Ferrand at this juncture betrayed how far the most independent thinkers are dependent when they have no money in their pockets. He took the note that Shelton proffered him.

The nervous gesture that Ferrand made at this moment revealed how much even the most independent thinkers rely on others when they're broke. He took the note that Shelton offered him.

“A thousand thanks,” said he; “I shall never forget what you have done for me”; and Shelton could not help feeling that there was true emotion behind his titter of farewell.

“A thousand thanks,” he said; “I’ll never forget what you’ve done for me”; and Shelton couldn’t help but feel that there was genuine emotion behind his awkward goodbye.

He stood at the window watching Ferrand start into the world again; then looked back at his own comfortable room, with the number of things that had accumulated somehow—the photographs of countless friends, the old arm-chairs, the stock of coloured pipes. Into him restlessness had passed with the farewell clasp of the foreigner's damp hand. To wait about in London was unbearable.

He stood at the window, watching Ferrand head out into the world again; then he looked back at his cozy room, filled with all kinds of things that had somehow piled up—the photos of countless friends, the old armchairs, the collection of colorful pipes. A feeling of restlessness had washed over him with the goodbye handshake from the foreigner’s damp hand. Waiting around in London felt unbearable.

He took his hat, and, heedless of direction, walked towards the river. It was a clear, bright day, with a bleak wind driving showers before it. During one of such Shelton found himself in Little Blank Street. “I wonder how that little Frenchman that I saw is getting on!” he thought. On a fine day he would probably have passed by on the other side; he now entered and tapped upon the wicket.

He grabbed his hat and, not caring where he was going, walked towards the river. It was a clear, bright day, with a cold wind pushing showers in front of it. During one of those moments, Shelton found himself on Little Blank Street. “I wonder how that little French guy I saw is doing!” he thought. On a nice day, he probably would have walked on the other side; instead, he stepped in and knocked on the gate.

No. 3 Little Blank Street had abated nothing of its stone-flagged dreariness; the same blowsy woman answered his inquiry. Yes, Carolan was always in; you could never catch him out—seemed afraid to go into the street! To her call the little Frenchman made his appearance as punctually as if he had been the rabbit of a conjurer. His face was as yellow as a guinea.

No. 3 Little Blank Street hadn’t lost any of its dreary, stone-paved look; the same disheveled woman answered his question. Yes, Carolan was always there; you could never find him gone—he seemed too scared to step out onto the street! At her call, the little Frenchman showed up as promptly as if he were a magician's rabbit. His face was as yellow as a guinea.

“Ah! it's you, monsieur!” he said.

“Ah! It's you, sir!” he said.

“Yes,” said Shelton; “and how are you?”

“Yes,” said Shelton; “and how are you?”

“It 's five days since I came out of hospital,” muttered the little Frenchman, tapping on his chest; “a crisis of this bad atmosphere. I live here, shut up in a box; it does me harm, being from the South. If there's anything I can do for you, monsieur, it will give me pleasure.”

“It’s been five days since I got out of the hospital,” the little Frenchman said quietly, tapping his chest. “I’m having a tough time with this awful atmosphere. I’m stuck in this box; it’s not good for me, being from the South. If there’s anything I can do for you, sir, I’d be happy to help.”

“Nothing,” replied Shelton, “I was just passing, and thought I should like to hear how you were getting on.”

“Nothing,” replied Shelton, “I was just passing by and thought I’d like to see how you were doing.”

“Come into the kitchen,—monsieur, there is nobody in there. 'Brr! Il fait un froid etonnant'.”

“Come into the kitchen, sir, there’s no one in there. 'Brr! It's surprisingly cold.'”

“What sort of customers have you just now?” asked Shelton, as they passed into the kitchen.

“What type of customers do you have right now?” asked Shelton as they walked into the kitchen.

“Always the same clientele,” replied the little man; “not so numerous, of course, it being summer.”

“Always the same customers,” replied the little man; “not as many, of course, since it’s summer.”

“Could n't you find anything better than this to do?”

“Couldn't you find something better to do than this?”

The barber's crow's-feet radiated irony.

The barber's wrinkles radiated irony.

“When I first came to London,” said he, “I secured an engagement at one of your public institutions. I thought my fortune made. Imagine, monsieur, in that sacred place I was obliged to shave at the rate of ten a penny! Here, it's true, they don't pay me half the time; but when I'm paid, I 'm paid. In this, climate, and being 'poitrinaire', one doesn't make experiments. I shall finish my days here. Have you seen that young man who interested you? There 's another! He has spirit, as I had once—'il fait de la philosophie', as I do—and you will see, monsieur, it will finish him. In this world what you want is to have no spirit. Spirit ruins you.”

“When I first came to London,” he said, “I got a job at one of your public institutions. I thought I was set for life. Can you believe it, sir? In that esteemed place, I had to shave at the rate of ten for a penny! Here, it's true, they don't pay me half the time; but when I do get paid, I actually get paid. In this climate, and being ‘poitrinaire’, you can’t take risks. I’ll be spending my days here. Have you noticed that young man who caught your attention? There’s another! He has spirit, like I once did—‘he does philosophy’, just like I do—and you’ll see, sir, it will wear him out. In this world, what you really want is to have no spirit. Spirit will ruin you.”

Shelton looked sideways at the little man with his sardonic, yellow, half-dead face, and the incongruity of the word “spirit” in his mouth struck him so sharply that he smiled a smile with more pity in it than any burst of tears.

Shelton glanced at the little man with his sarcastic, yellow, lifeless face, and the mismatch of the word “spirit” coming from him hit him so hard that he smiled a smile filled with more pity than any outburst of tears.

“Shall we 'sit down?” he said, offering a cigarette.

“Shall we sit down?” he said, offering a cigarette.

“Merci, monsieur, it is always a pleasure to smoke a good cigarette. You remember, that old actor who gave you a Jeremiad? Well, he's dead. I was the only one at his bedside; 'un vrai drole'. He was another who had spirit. And you will see, monsieur, that young man in whom you take an interest, he'll die in a hospital, or in some hole or other, or even on the highroad; having closed his eyes once too often some cold night; and all because he has something in him which will not accept things as they are, believing always that they should be better. 'Il n'y a riens de plus tragique'.”

“Thank you, sir, it’s always nice to smoke a good cigarette. You remember that old actor who gave you a Jeremiad? Well, he’s dead. I was the only one at his bedside; 'a true character.' He was someone with spirit. And you’ll see, sir, that young man you're interested in, he’ll die in a hospital, or in some dark place, or even on the road; having closed his eyes one too many times on a cold night; and all because he has something in him that won’t accept things as they are, always believing they should be better. 'Nothing is more tragic.’”

“According to you, then,” said Shelton—and the conversation seemed to him of a sudden to have taken too personal a turn—“rebellion of any sort is fatal.”

“According to you, then,” said Shelton—and he suddenly felt that the conversation had become too personal—“rebellion of any kind is deadly.”

“Ah!” replied the little man, with the eagerness of one whose ideal it is to sit under the awning of a cafe, and talk life upside down, “you pose me a great problem there! If one makes rebellion; it is always probable that one will do no good to any one and harm one's self. The law of the majority arranges that. But I would draw your attention to this”—and he paused; as if it were a real discovery to blow smoke through his nose—“if you rebel it is in all likelihood because you are forced by your nature to rebel; this is one of the most certain things in life. In any case, it is necessary to avoid falling between two stools—which is unpardonable,” he ended with complacence.

“Ah!” replied the little man, excited like someone whose dream is to relax under a cafe awning and discuss life in a topsy-turvy way, “you present me with a big question! If someone rebels, it’s likely they won’t help anyone and will just hurt themselves. That’s how the law of the majority works. But I want to point this out”—and he paused, as if it were a real breakthrough to blow smoke out of his nose—“if you rebel, it’s probably because your nature compels you to; that’s one of the most certain truths in life. Anyway, it’s important to avoid being caught in between two options—which is unforgivable,” he concluded with satisfaction.

Shelton thought he had never seen a man who looked more completely as if he had fallen between two stools, and he had inspiration enough to feel that the little barber's intellectual rebellion and the action logically required by it had no more than a bowing acquaintanceship.

Shelton thought he had never seen a man who looked more like he had fallen between two stools, and he was inspired enough to realize that the little barber's intellectual struggle and the actions it called for were just barely connected.

“By nature,” went on the little man, “I am an optimist; it is in consequence of this that I now make pessimism. I have always had ideals; seeing myself cut off from them for ever, I must complain; to complain, monsieur, is very sweet!”

“By nature,” continued the little man, “I’m an optimist; because of this, I now embrace pessimism. I’ve always had ideals; now that I see I’m forever cut off from them, I have to complain; complaining, sir, is very sweet!”

Shelton wondered what these ideals had been, but had no answer ready; so he nodded, and again held out his cigarettes, for, like a true Southerner, the little man had thrown the first away, half smoked.

Shelton wondered what those ideals had been but didn’t have an answer, so he nodded and offered his cigarettes again, since, being a true Southerner, the little guy had tossed the first one away, half smoked.

“The greatest pleasure in life,” continued the Frenchman, with a bow, “is to talk a little to a being who is capable of understanding you. At present we have no one here, now that that old actor's dead. Ah! there was a man who was rebellion incarnate! He made rebellion as other men make money, 'c'etait son metier'. when he was no longer capable of active revolution, he made it getting drunk. At the last this was his only way of protesting against Society. An interesting personality, 'je le regrette beaucoup'. But, as you see, he died in great distress, without a soul to wave him farewell, because as you can well understand, monsieur, I don't count myself. He died drunk. 'C'etait un homme'.”

“The greatest pleasure in life,” the Frenchman continued with a nod, “is having a conversation with someone who truly understands you. Right now, we don’t have anyone here, especially now that that old actor has passed away. Ah! He was a man who embodied rebellion! He created rebellion like others create wealth, 'c'était son métier'. When he could no longer engage in active revolution, he turned to getting drunk. In the end, that was his only way of protesting against society. What an interesting personality, 'je le regrette beaucoup'. But, as you can see, he died in great anguish, without a single soul to bid him farewell, because you understand, monsieur, I don’t count myself. He died drunk. 'C'était un homme'.”

Shelton had continued staring kindly at the little man; the barber added hastily:

Shelton kept looking kindly at the little man; the barber quickly added:

“It's difficult to make an end like that one has moments of weakness.”

“It's hard to end things like that; everyone has moments of weakness.”

“Yes,” assented Shelton, “one has indeed.”

“Yes,” agreed Shelton, “one certainly has.”

The little barber looked at him with cynical discretion.

The little barber gave him a sarcastic look.

“Oh!” he said, “it 's to the destitute that such things are important. When one has money, all these matters—”

“Oh!” he said, “it's the people in need who care about these things. When you have money, all these matters—”

He shrugged his shoulders. A smile had lodged amongst his crow's-feet; he waved his hand as though to end the subject.

He shrugged his shoulders. A smile had settled in the corners of his eyes; he waved his hand as if to drop the topic.

A sense of having been exposed came over Shelton.

A feeling of being exposed washed over Shelton.

“You think, then,” said he, “that discontent is peculiar to the destitute?”

“You think, then,” he said, “that being unhappy is something only the poor experience?”

“Monsieur,” replied the little barber, “a plutocrat knows too well that if he mixes in that 'galere' there 's not a dog in the streets more lost than he.”

“Mister,” replied the little barber, “a wealthy guy knows very well that if he gets involved with that crowd, there’s not a soul on the streets more lost than he is.”

Shelton rose.

Shelton stood up.

“The rain is over. I hope you 'll soon be better; perhaps you 'll accept this in memory of that old actor,” and he slipped a sovereign into the little Frenchman's hand.

“The rain has stopped. I hope you’ll be feeling better soon; maybe you’ll take this as a keepsake from that old actor,” and he placed a sovereign into the little Frenchman's hand.

The latter bowed.

The latter nodded.

“Whenever you are passing, monsieur,” he said eagerly, “I shall be charmed to see you.”

“Whenever you pass by, sir,” he said eagerly, “I would love to see you.”

And Shelton walked away. “'Not a dog in the streets more lost,'.rdquo; thought he; “now what did he mean by that?”

And Shelton walked away. “Not a dog in the streets more lost,” he thought; “now what did he mean by that?”

Something of that “lost dog” feeling had gripped his spirit. Another month of waiting would kill all the savour of anticipation, might even kill his love. In the excitement of his senses and his nerves, caused by this strain of waiting, everything seemed too vivid; all was beyond life size; like Art—whose truths; too strong for daily use, are thus, unpopular with healthy people. As will the bones in a worn face, the spirit underlying things had reached the surface; the meanness and intolerable measure of hard facts, were too apparent. Some craving for help, some instinct, drove him into Kensington, for he found himself before his, mother's house. Providence seemed bent on flinging him from pole to pole.

Something about that “lost dog” feeling had taken hold of him. Another month of waiting would drain all the excitement out of anticipation and might even extinguish his love. In the rush of his senses and nerves, fueled by this stress of waiting, everything felt overly intense; it was all larger than life—like art, whose truths are often too strong for everyday life and thus don’t resonate with healthy people. Just like the bones in a weathered face, the deeper truths had bubbled to the surface; the harsh realities were painfully obvious. Some urge for help, some instinct, compelled him to Kensington, where he found himself standing in front of his mother’s house. It felt like fate was tossing him around without a care.

Mrs. Shelton was in town; and, though it was the first of June, sat warming her feet before a fire; her face, with its pleasant colour, was crow's-footed like the little barber's, but from optimism, not rebellion. She, smiled when she saw her son; and the wrinkles round her eyes twinkled, with vitality.

Mrs. Shelton was in town, and even though it was the first of June, she sat warming her feet in front of a fire. Her face, with its nice color, had laugh lines like the little barber's, but out of optimism, not defiance. She smiled when she saw her son, and the wrinkles around her eyes sparkled with life.

“Well, my dear boy,” she said, “it's lovely to see you. And how is that sweet girl?”

“Well, my dear boy,” she said, “it's great to see you. And how's that lovely girl?”

“Very well, thank you,” replied Shelton.

“Sure, thanks,” Shelton said.

“She must be such a dear!”

“She must be such a sweetheart!”

“Mother,” stammered Shelton, “I must give it up.”

“Mom,” stammered Shelton, “I have to give it up.”

“Give it up? My dear Dick, give what up? You look quite worried. Come and sit down, and have a cosy chat. Cheer up!” And Mrs. Shelton; with her head askew, gazed at her son quite irrepressibly.

“Give it up? My dear Dick, give what up? You look really worried. Come and sit down, and let's have a nice chat. Cheer up!” And Mrs. Shelton, tilting her head, looked at her son with unwavering intensity.

“Mother,” said Shelton, who, confronted by her optimism, had never, since his time of trial began, felt so wretchedly dejected, “I can't go on waiting about like this.”

“Mom,” said Shelton, who, faced with her optimism, had never felt so completely down since his struggles began, “I can't keep waiting around like this.”

“My dear boy, what is the matter?”;

"Hey kid, what's wrong?"

“Everything is wrong!”

"Everything's messed up!"

“Wrong?” cried Mrs. Shelton. “Come, tell me all, about it!”

“Wrong?” exclaimed Mrs. Shelton. “Come on, tell me everything about it!”

But Shelton, shook his head.

But Shelton shook his head.

“You surely have not had a quarrel——”

“You definitely haven’t had a fight——”

Mrs. Shelton stopped; the question seemed so vulgar—one might have asked it of a groom.

Mrs. Shelton stopped; the question felt so crude—like something you might ask a groom.

“No,” said Shelton, and his answer sounded like a groan.

“No,” said Shelton, and his answer sounded like a groan.

“You know, my dear old Dick,” murmured his mother, “it seems a little mad.”

“You know, my dear old Dick,” his mother said softly, “that seems a bit crazy.”

“I know it seems mad.”

"I know it seems crazy."

“Come!” said Mrs. Shelton, taking his hand between her own; “you never used to be like this.”

“Come on!” Mrs. Shelton said, taking his hand in hers; “you never used to be this way.”

“No,” said Shelton, with a laugh; “I never used to be like this.”

“No,” Shelton said with a laugh, “I never used to be like this.”

Mrs. Shelton snuggled in her Chuda shawl.

Mrs. Shelton snuggled in her Chuda shawl.

“Oh,” she said, with cheery sympathy, “I know exactly how you feel!”

“Oh,” she said, with cheerful sympathy, “I totally understand how you feel!”

Shelton, holding his head, stared at the fire, which played and bubbled like his mother's face.

Shelton, cradling his head, gazed at the fire, which danced and bubbled like his mother's face.

“But you're so fond of each other,” she began again. “Such a sweet girl!”

“But you guys really like each other,” she started again. “What a sweet girl!”

“You don't understand,” muttered Shelton gloomily; “it 's not her—it's nothing—it's—myself!”

“You don't get it,” Shelton said gloomily; “it's not about her—it's nothing—it's—me!”

Mrs. Shelton again seized his hand, and this time pressed it to her soft, warm cheek, that had lost the elasticity of youth.

Mrs. Shelton took his hand again and this time pressed it to her soft, warm cheek, which had lost the firmness of youth.

“Oh!” she cried again; “I understand. I know exactly what you 're feeling.” But Shelton saw from the fixed beam in her eyes that she had not an inkling. To do him justice, he was not so foolish as to try to give her one. Mrs. Shelton sighed. “It would be so lovely if you could wake up to-morrow and think differently. If I were you, my dear, I would have a good long walk, and then a Turkish bath; and then I would just write to her, and tell her all about it, and you'll see how beautifully it'll all come straight”; and in the enthusiasm of advice Mrs. Shelton rose, and, with a faint stretch of her tiny figure, still so young, clasped her hands together. “Now do, that 's a dear old Dick! You 'll just see how lovely it'll be!” Shelton smiled; he had not the heart to chase away this vision. “And give her my warmest love, and tell her I 'm longing for the wedding. Come, now, my dear boy, promise me that's what you 'll do.”

“Oh!” she exclaimed again, “I get it. I totally understand what you’re feeling.” But Shelton could tell from the intense look in her eyes that she didn’t have a clue. To be fair, he wasn’t foolish enough to try to explain it to her. Mrs. Shelton sighed. “It would be so wonderful if you could wake up tomorrow and feel differently. If I were you, my dear, I would go for a long walk, then take a Turkish bath; and then I would just write to her and tell her everything, and you’ll see how perfectly everything will work out.” Caught up in her excitement, Mrs. Shelton stood up, and with a slight stretch of her petite figure, still so youthful, she clasped her hands together. “Now do it, that’s a dear old Dick! You’ll see how lovely it’ll be!” Shelton smiled; he couldn’t bring himself to ruin her vision. “And give her my warmest love, and tell her I’m really looking forward to the wedding. Come on, my dear boy, promise me that’s what you’ll do.”

And Shelton said: “I'll think about it.”

And Shelton said, “I’ll think about it.”

Mrs. Shelton had taken up her stand with one foot on the fender, in spite of her sciatica.

Mrs. Shelton had taken her position with one foot on the fender, despite her sciatica.

“Cheer up!” she cried; her eyes beamed as if intoxicated by her sympathy.

“Cheer up!” she exclaimed; her eyes sparkled as if filled with her compassion.

Wonderful woman! The uncomplicated optimism that carried her through good and ill had not descended to her son.

Wonderful woman! The simple optimism that helped her get through both good times and bad had not passed on to her son.

From pole to pole he had been thrown that day, from the French barber, whose intellect accepted nothing without carping, and whose little fingers worked all day, to save himself from dying out, to his own mother, whose intellect accepted anything presented with sufficient glow, but who, until she died, would never stir a finger. When Shelton reached his rooms, he wrote to Antonia:

From one extreme to the other he had been thrown that day, from the French barber, whose sharp mind questioned everything and whose tiny fingers worked all day to keep himself busy, to his own mother, whose mind accepted anything that was presented with enough flair but who, until her last breath, would never lift a finger. When Shelton got back to his apartment, he wrote to Antonia:

I can't wait about in London any longer; I am going down to Bideford to start a walking tour. I shall work my way to Oxford, and stay there till I may come to Holm Oaks. I shall send you my address; do write as usual.

I can't hang around in London any longer; I'm heading down to Bideford to start a walking tour. I'll make my way to Oxford and stay there until I can come to Holm Oaks. I'll send you my address; please write as usual.

He collected all the photographs he had of her—amateur groups, taken by Mrs. Dennant—and packed them in the pocket of his shooting-jacket. There was one where she was standing just below her little brother, who was perched upon a wall. In her half-closed eyes, round throat, and softly tilted chin, there was something cool and watchful, protecting the ragamuffin up above her head. This he kept apart to be looked at daily, as a man says his prayers.

He gathered all the pictures he had of her—casual snapshots taken by Mrs. Dennant—and stuffed them in the pocket of his shooting jacket. There was one where she stood just below her little brother, who was sitting on a wall. In her half-closed eyes, round neck, and gently tilted chin, there was something calm and attentive, as if she were guarding the little troublemaker above her head. He kept this one separate to look at every day, like a man saying his prayers.





PART II

THE COUNTRY





CHAPTER XVI

THE INDIAN CIVILIAN

One morning then, a week later, Shelton found himself at the walls of Princetown Prison.

One morning, a week later, Shelton found himself at the walls of Princetown Prison.

He had seen this lugubrious stone cage before. But the magic of his morning walk across the moor, the sight of the pagan tors, the songs of the last cuckoo, had unprepared him for that dreary building. He left the street, and, entering the fosse, began a circuit, scanning the walls with morbid fascination.

He had seen this gloomy stone cage before. But the magic of his morning walk across the moor, the sight of the ancient hills, the songs of the last cuckoo, had left him unprepared for that depressing building. He stepped off the street and, entering the ditch, started to circle around, examining the walls with a morbid curiosity.

This, then, was the system by which men enforced the will of the majority, and it was suddenly borne in on him that all the ideas and maxims which his Christian countrymen believed themselves to be fulfilling daily were stultified in every cellule of the social honeycomb. Such teachings as “He that is without sin amongst you” had been pronounced unpractical by peers and judges, bishops, statesmen, merchants, husbands—in fact, by every truly Christian person in the country.

This was the system by which people enforced the will of the majority, and it suddenly hit him that all the ideas and principles his Christian countrymen thought they were living out every day were undermined in every part of the social structure. Teachings like “He that is without sin among you” had been deemed impractical by peers and judges, bishops, politicians, business people, husbands—in fact, by every truly Christian person in the country.

“Yes,” thought Shelton, as if he had found out something new, “the more Christian the nation, the less it has to do with the Christian spirit.”

“Yes,” thought Shelton, as if he had discovered something new, “the more Christian a nation is, the less it embodies the Christian spirit.”

Society was a charitable organisation, giving nothing for nothing, little for sixpence; and it was only fear that forced it to give at all!

Society was a charitable organization, offering nothing for free, little for a small payment; and it was only fear that compelled it to give anything at all!

He took a seat on a wall, and began to watch a warder who was slowly paring a last year's apple. The expression of his face, the way he stood with his solid legs apart, his head poked forward and his lower jaw thrust out, all made him a perfect pillar of Society. He was undisturbed by Shelton's scrutiny, watching the rind coil down below the apple; until in a springing spiral it fell on the path and collapsed like a toy snake. He took a bite; his teeth were jagged; and his mouth immense. It was obvious that he considered himself a most superior man. Shelton frowned, got down slowly, from the wall, and proceeded on his way.

He sat on a wall and started to watch a guard who was slowly peeling an apple from last year. The look on his face, the way he stood with his sturdy legs apart, his head leaning forward, and his lower jaw jutting out, all made him a perfect representative of Society. He didn’t notice Shelton watching him, focusing instead on the peel spiraling down from the apple; until it fell onto the path and flopped down like a toy snake. He took a bite; his teeth were jagged, and his mouth huge. It was clear he thought of himself as a very important man. Shelton frowned, climbed down slowly from the wall, and continued on his way.

A little further down the hill he stopped again to watch a group of convicts in a field. They seemed to be dancing in a slow and sad cotillon, while behind the hedge on every side were warders armed with guns. Just such a sight, substituting spears could have been seen in Roman times.

A little further down the hill, he stopped again to watch a group of convicts in a field. They seemed to be dancing in a slow and sad circle, while behind the hedge on every side were guards armed with guns. Just such a sight, replacing spears, could have been seen in Roman times.

While he thus stood looking, a man, walking, rapidly, stopped beside him, and asked how many miles it was to Exeter. His round visage; and long, brown eyes, sliding about beneath their brows, his cropped hair and short neck, seemed familiar.

While he was standing there watching, a guy walked up quickly and asked how many miles it was to Exeter. His round face and long brown eyes, darting around under his brows, along with his cropped hair and short neck, looked familiar.

“Your name is Crocker, is n't it?”

"You're Crocker, right?"

“Why! it's the Bird!” exclaimed the traveller; putting out his hand. “Have n't seen you since we both went down.”

“Wow! It's the Bird!” exclaimed the traveler, reaching out his hand. “I haven't seen you since we both went down.”

Shelton returned his handgrip. Crocker had lived above his head at college, and often kept him, sleepless half the night by playing on the hautboy.

Shelton released his grip. Crocker had lived in the room above him in college and often kept him awake half the night by playing the oboe.

“Where have you sprung from?”

"Where did you come from?"

“India. Got my long leave. I say, are you going this way? Let's go together.”

“India. I got my long leave. Hey, are you headed that way? Let's go together.”

They went, and very fast; faster and faster every minute.

They went, and really quickly; faster and faster with every minute.

“Where are you going at this pace?” asked Shelton.

“Where are you off to in such a hurry?” asked Shelton.

“London.”

“London.”

“Oh! only as far as London?”

“Oh! Just to London?”

“I 've set myself to do it in a week.”

“I’ve decided to get it done in a week.”

“Are you in training?”

"Are you training?"

“No.”

“No.”

“You 'll kill yourself.”

"You'll harm yourself."

Crocker answered with a chuckle.

Crocker chuckled in response.

Shelton noted with alarm the expression of his eye; there was a sort of stubborn aspiration in it. “Still an idealist!” he thought; “poor fellow!” “Well,” he inquired, “what sort of a time have you had in India?”

Shelton noticed with concern the look in his eye; there was a kind of stubborn determination in it. “Still an idealist!” he thought; “poor guy!” “So,” he asked, “what kind of time have you had in India?”

“Oh,” said the Indian civilian absently, “I've, had the plague.”

“Oh,” said the Indian civilian absentmindedly, “I've had the plague.”

“Good God!”

“Oh my God!”

Crocker smiled, and added:

Crocker smiled and added:

“Caught it on famine duty.”

“Caught it during famine duty.”

“I see,” said Shelton; “plague and famine! I suppose you fellows really think you 're doing good out there?”

“I see,” said Shelton. “Pandemic and starvation! I guess you guys actually think you're doing good out there?”

His companion looked at him surprised, then answered modestly:

His companion looked at him in surprise, then replied humbly:

“We get very good screws.”

“We have great screws.”

“That 's the great thing,” responded Shelton.

“That's the great thing,” replied Shelton.

After a moment's silence, Crocker, looking straight before him, asked:

After a brief silence, Crocker, looking straight ahead, asked:

“Don't you think we are doing good?”

“Don't you think we're doing well?”

“I 'm not an authority; but, as a matter of fact, I don't.”

“I’m not an expert; but honestly, I don’t.”

Crocker seemed disconcerted.

Crocker looked troubled.

“Why?” he bluntly asked.

“Why?” he asked bluntly.

Shelton was not anxious to explain his views, and he did not reply.

Shelton wasn't eager to share his thoughts, so he stayed silent.

His friend repeated:

His friend said again:

“Why don't you think we're doing good in India?”

“Why do you think we're not doing well in India?”

“Well,” said Shelton gruffly, “how can progress be imposed on nations from outside?”

“Well,” Shelton said gruffly, “how can progress be forced on countries from the outside?”

The Indian civilian, glancing at Shelton in an affectionate and doubtful way, replied:

The Indian civilian, looking at Shelton with a mix of warmth and uncertainty, replied:

“You have n't changed a bit, old chap.”

“You haven’t changed at all, buddy.”

“No, no,” said Shelton; “you 're not going to get out of it that way. Give me a single example of a nation, or an individual, for that matter, who 's ever done any good without having worked up to it from within.”

“No, no,” said Shelton; “you’re not getting out of this that easily. Show me one example of a nation, or even an individual, who has done any good without building it from the inside out.”

Crocker, grunting, muttered, “Evils.”

Crocker grunted, muttering, "Evil."

“That 's it,” said Shelton; “we take peoples entirely different from our own, and stop their natural development by substituting a civilisation grown for our own use. Suppose, looking at a tropical fern in a hothouse, you were to say: 'This heat 's unhealthy for me; therefore it must be bad for the fern, I 'll take it up and plant it outside in the fresh air.'.rdquo;

“That's it,” said Shelton; “we take people who are completely different from us and hinder their natural growth by imposing a culture that's developed for our own needs. Imagine looking at a tropical fern in a greenhouse and saying, 'This heat is unhealthy for me; therefore, it must be bad for the fern. I’ll dig it up and plant it outside in the fresh air.'”

“Do you know that means giving up India?” said the Indian civilian shrewdly.

“Do you know that means giving up India?” the Indian civilian said wisely.

“I don't say that; but to talk about doing good to India is—h'm!”

“I’m not saying that; but talking about doing good for India is—hmm!”

Crocker knitted his brows, trying to see the point of view his friend was showing him.

Crocker furrowed his brows, trying to understand his friend's perspective.

“Come, now! Should we go on administering India if it were dead loss? No. Well, to talk about administering the country for the purpose of pocketing money is cynical, and there 's generally some truth in cynicism; but to talk about the administration of a country by which we profit, as if it were a great and good thing, is cant. I hit you in the wind for the benefit of myself—all right: law of nature; but to say it does you good at the same time is beyond me.”

“Come on! Should we keep running India if it’s a total loss? No. To discuss managing the country just to line our pockets is cynical, and there’s usually some truth in cynicism; but pretending that running a country for our profit is a noble thing is just nonsense. I’m hitting you in the gut for my own benefit—that's natural; but to claim it helps you too is beyond me.”

“No, no,” returned Crocker, grave and anxious; “you can't persuade me that we 're not doing good.”

“No, no,” Crocker replied, serious and worried; “you can’t convince me that we aren’t doing good.”

“Wait a bit. It's all a question of horizons; you look at it from too close. Put the horizon further back. You hit India in the wind, and say it's virtuous. Well, now let's see what happens. Either the wind never comes back, and India gasps to an untimely death, or the wind does come back, and in the pant of reaction your blow—that's to say your labour—is lost, morally lost labour that you might have spent where it would n't have been lost.”

“Hold on a minute. It’s all about perspective; you’re looking at it too closely. Move the horizon further away. You reach India in the wind and call it virtuous. Well, let’s see what happens. Either the wind never returns, and India suffers an early demise, or the wind does come back, and in the aftermath, your effort—meaning your work—is wasted, morally wasted labor that you could have invested elsewhere where it wouldn’t have been wasted.”

“Are n't you an Imperialist?” asked Crocker, genuinely concerned.

“Are you not an Imperialist?” asked Crocker, genuinely concerned.

“I may be, but I keep my mouth shut about the benefits we 're conferring upon other people.”

“I might be, but I don’t say anything about the benefits we’re giving to other people.”

“Then you can't believe in abstract right, or justice?”

“Then you can’t believe in abstract rights or justice?”

“What on earth have our ideas of justice or right got to do with India?”

“What do our ideas of justice or what's right have to do with India?”

“If I thought as you do,” sighed the unhappy Crocker, “I should be all adrift.”

“If I thought like you do,” sighed the unhappy Crocker, “I would feel completely lost.”

“Quite so. We always think our standards best for the whole world. It's a capital belief for us. Read the speeches of our public men. Does n't it strike you as amazing how sure they are of being in the right? It's so charming to benefit yourself and others at the same time, though, when you come to think of it, one man's meat is usually another's poison. Look at nature. But in England we never look at nature—there's no necessity. Our national point of view has filled our pockets, that's all that matters.”

“Exactly. We always believe our standards are the best for the entire world. It's a strong belief for us. Just read the speeches of our leaders. Doesn’t it amaze you how confident they are in being right? It’s so nice to help yourself and others at the same time, although, if you think about it, what works for one person usually doesn’t for another. Just look at nature. But in England, we never look at nature—there's no need to. Our national perspective has filled our wallets, and that’s all that counts.”

“I say, old chap, that's awfully bitter,” said Crocker, with a sort of wondering sadness.

“I say, buddy, that's really bitter,” said Crocker, with a sort of surprised sadness.

“It 's enough to make any one bitter the way we Pharisees wax fat, and at the same time give ourselves the moral airs of a balloon. I must stick a pin in sometimes, just to hear the gas escape.” Shelton was surprised at his own heat, and for some strange reason thought of Antonia—surely, she was not a Pharisee.

“It’s enough to make anyone bitter the way we Pharisees get so comfortable while acting all high and mighty. I have to poke a hole in it sometimes, just to hear the air hiss out.” Shelton was surprised by his own anger and, for some strange reason, thought of Antonia—surely, she wasn’t a Pharisee.

His companion strode along, and Shelton felt sorry for the signs of trouble on his face.

His friend walked confidently, and Shelton felt concerned about the signs of distress on his face.

“To fill your pockets,” said Crocker, “is n't the main thing. One has just got to do things without thinking of why we do them.”

“To fill your pockets,” Crocker said, “isn’t the main thing. You just have to do things without thinking about why you're doing them.”

“Do you ever see the other side to any question?” asked Shelton. “I suppose not. You always begin to act before you stop thinking, don't you?”

“Do you ever consider the other side of any question?” Shelton asked. “I guess not. You always start acting before you finish thinking, right?”

Crocker grinned.

Crocker smiled.

“He's a Pharisee, too,” thought Shelton, “without a Pharisee's pride. Queer thing that!”

“He's a Pharisee, too,” thought Shelton, “but he doesn't have the pride that usually comes with it. Strange, right?”

After walking some distance, as if thinking deeply, Crocker chuckled out:

After walking for a while, as if lost in thought, Crocker laughed and said:

“You 're not consistent; you ought to be in favour of giving up India.”

“You're inconsistent; you should support giving up India.”

Shelton smiled uneasily.

Shelton smiled awkwardly.

“Why should n't we fill our pockets? I only object to the humbug that we talk.”

“Why shouldn’t we fill our pockets? I just have a problem with the nonsense we say.”

The Indian civilian put his hand shyly through his arm.

The Indian civilian shyly slipped his hand through his arm.

“If I thought like you,” he said, “I could n't stay another day in India.”

“If I thought like you,” he said, “I couldn't stay another day in India.”

And to this Shelton made no reply.

And Shelton didn’t respond to this.

The wind had now begun to drop, and something of the morning's magic was stealing again upon the moor. They were nearing the outskirt fields of cultivation. It was past five when, dropping from the level of the tors, they came into the sunny vale of Monkland.

The wind had started to calm down, and a bit of the morning's magic was returning to the moor. They were getting close to the cultivated fields on the outskirts. It was after five when, descending from the heights, they entered the sunny valley of Monkland.

“They say,” said Crocker, reading from his guide-book—“they say this place occupies a position of unique isolation.”

“They say,” Crocker said, reading from his guidebook, “they say this place is uniquely isolated.”

The two travellers, in tranquil solitude, took their seats under an old lime-tree on the village green. The smoke of their pipes, the sleepy air, the warmth from the baked ground, the constant hum, made Shelton drowsy.

The two travelers, in peaceful solitude, settled under an old lime tree on the village green. The smoke from their pipes, the lazy atmosphere, the warmth from the sun-baked ground, and the steady buzzing made Shelton feel drowsy.

“Do you remember,” his companion asked, “those 'jaws' you used to have with Busgate and old Halidome in my rooms on Sunday evenings? How is old Halidome?”

“Do you remember,” his friend asked, “those 'jaws' you used to have with Busgate and old Halidome in my place on Sunday evenings? How is old Halidome doing?”

“Married,” replied Shelton.

"Married," Shelton replied.

Crocker sighed. “And are you?” he asked.

Crocker sighed. “So, are you?” he asked.

“Not yet,” said Shelton grimly; “I 'm—engaged.”

“Not yet,” Shelton said grimly; “I’m—busy.”

Crocker took hold of his arm above the elbow, and, squeezing it, he grunted. Shelton had not received congratulations that pleased him more; there was the spice of envy in them.

Crocker grabbed his arm above the elbow and squeezed it, letting out a grunt. Shelton had never received congratulations that made him happier; there was a hint of envy in them.

“I should like to get married while I 'm home,” said the civilian after a long pause. His legs were stretched apart, throwing shadows on the green, his hands deep thrust into his pockets, his head a little to one side. An absent-minded smile played round his mouth.

“I’d like to get married while I’m home,” said the civilian after a long pause. He sat with his legs apart, casting shadows on the grass, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, and his head tilted slightly to one side. An absent-minded smile hovered around his mouth.

The sun had sunk behind a tor, but the warmth kept rising from the ground, and the sweet-briar on a cottage bathed them with its spicy perfume. From the converging lanes figures passed now and then, lounged by, staring at the strangers, gossiping amongst themselves, and vanished into the cottages that headed the incline. A clock struck seven, and round the shady lime-tree a chafer or some heavy insect commenced its booming rushes. All was marvellously sane and slumbrous. The soft air, the drawling voices, the shapes and murmurs, the rising smell of wood-smoke from fresh-kindled fires—were full of the spirit of security and of home. The outside world was far indeed. Typical of some island nation was this nest of refuge—where men grew quietly tall, fattened, and without fuss dropped off their perches; where contentment flourished, as sunflowers flourished in the sun.

The sun had set behind a hill, but the warmth still radiated from the ground, and the sweet-briar on a cottage surrounded them with its spicy scent. Figures passed by occasionally from the winding paths, lounging around, staring at the newcomers, chatting among themselves, and disappearing into the cottages at the top of the slope. A clock chimed seven, and around the shady lime tree, a beetle or some heavy insect started its booming flights. Everything felt wonderfully calm and drowsy. The gentle air, the lazy voices, the shapes and sounds, the rising smell of wood smoke from freshly lit fires—everything was filled with a sense of safety and home. The outside world felt very distant. This cozy little haven was typical of some island nation—where people grew quietly tall, thrived, and without a fuss settled down; where happiness thrived like sunflowers basking in the sun.

Crocker's cap slipped off; he was nodding, and Shelton looked at him. From a manor house in some such village he had issued; to one of a thousand such homes he would find his way at last, untouched by the struggles with famines or with plagues, uninfected in his fibre, his prejudices, and his principles, unchanged by contact with strange peoples, new conditions, odd feelings, or queer points of view!

Crocker's cap fell off; he was nodding, and Shelton looked at him. He had come from a manor house in a village like this one; eventually, he would make his way to one of the thousands of similar homes, untouched by struggles with famine or disease, untainted in his character, biases, and beliefs, unchanged by interactions with different people, new circumstances, unusual emotions, or strange perspectives!

The chafer buzzed against his shoulder, gathered flight again, and boomed away. Crocker roused himself, and, turning his amiable face, jogged Shelton's arm.

The beetle buzzed against his shoulder, took flight again, and flew off with a loud sound. Crocker woke up, and, turning his friendly face, nudged Shelton's arm.

“What are you thinking about, Bird?” he asked.

“What are you thinking about, Bird?” he asked.





CHAPTER XVII

A PARSON

Shelton continued to travel with his college friend, and on Wednesday night, four days after joining company, they reached the village of Dowdenhame. All day long the road had lain through pastureland, with thick green hedges and heavily feathered elms. Once or twice they had broken the monotony by a stretch along the towing-path of a canal, which, choked with water-lily plants and shining weeds, brooded sluggishly beside the fields. Nature, in one of her ironic moods, had cast a grey and iron-hard cloak over all the country's bland luxuriance. From dawn till darkness fell there had been no movement in the steely distant sky; a cold wind ruffed in the hedge-tops, and sent shivers through the branches of the elms. The cattle, dappled, pied, or bay, or white, continued grazing with an air of grumbling at their birthright. In a meadow close to the canal Shelton saw five magpies, and about five o'clock the rain began, a steady, coldly-sneering rain, which Crocker, looking at the sky, declared was going to be over in a minute. But it was not over in a minute; they were soon drenched. Shelton was tired, and it annoyed him very much that his companion, who was also tired, should grow more cheerful. His thoughts kept harping upon Ferrand: “This must be something like what he described to me, tramping on and on when you're dead-beat, until you can cadge up supper and a bed.” And sulkily he kept on ploughing through the mud with glances at the exasperating Crocker, who had skinned one heel and was limping horribly. It suddenly came home to him that life for three quarters of the world meant physical exhaustion every day, without a possibility of alternative, and that as soon as, for some cause beyond control, they failed thus to exhaust themselves, they were reduced to beg or starve. “And then we, who don't know the meaning of the word exhaustion, call them 'idle scamps,'.rdquo; he said aloud.

Shelton continued to travel with his college friend, and on Wednesday night, four days after they teamed up, they arrived at the village of Dowdenhame. All day, the road had wound through pastures, lined with thick green hedges and tall, feathery elms. A couple of times, they broke the monotony by walking along the towing-path of a canal, which, clogged with water lilies and shiny weeds, sat sluggishly beside the fields. Nature, in one of her ironic moods, had draped a grey and tough cloak over the countryside's gentle beauty. From dawn until darkness fell, there was no movement in the steely sky; a cold wind rustled in the hedge-tops, sending shivers through the elm branches. The cattle—some dappled, some piebald, others bay or white—continued grazing, seeming to grumble about their existence. Near the canal, Shelton spotted five magpies, and around five o'clock, the rain started, a steady, cold rain that Crocker, looking at the sky, claimed would be over in a minute. But it didn't stop in a minute; they were soon soaked. Shelton was tired and found it extremely frustrating that his companion, also tired, was becoming more cheerful. He couldn’t stop thinking about Ferrand: “This must be something like what he described to me, trudging on when you’re dead tired until you can scrape together some supper and a place to sleep.” Sulkily, he kept slogging through the mud, stealing glances at the annoying Crocker, who had skinned one heel and was limping badly. It hit him suddenly that life for three-quarters of the world meant physical exhaustion every day, with no alternative, and that as soon as, for some uncontrollable reason, they couldn’t exhaust themselves, they were left to beg or starve. “And then we, who don't know what it means to feel exhausted, call them 'lazy scamps',” he said aloud.

It was past nine and dark when they reached Dowdenhame. The street yielded no accommodation, and while debating where to go they passed the church, with a square tower, and next to it a house which was certainly the parsonage.

It was past nine and dark when they arrived at Dowdenhame. The street offered no places to stay, and while they were discussing where to go, they walked past the church with the square tower, and next to it was a house that was definitely the parsonage.

“Suppose,” said Crocker, leaning on his arms upon the gate, “we ask him where to go”; and, without waiting for Shelton's answer, he rang the bell.

“Let’s,” said Crocker, leaning on his arms against the gate, “ask him where to go,” and without waiting for Shelton's reply, he rang the bell.

The door was opened by the parson, a bloodless and clean-shaven man, whose hollow cheeks and bony hands suggested a perpetual struggle. Ascetically benevolent were his grey eyes; a pale and ghostly smile played on the curves of his thin lips.

The door was opened by the pastor, a pale and clean-shaven man, whose sunken cheeks and bony hands hinted at a constant struggle. His grey eyes were starkly kind; a faint and ghostly smile lingered on the edges of his thin lips.

“What can I do for you?” he asked. “Inn? yes, there's the Blue Chequers, but I 'm afraid you 'll find it shut. They 're early people, I 'm glad to say”; and his eyes seemed to muse over the proper fold for these damp sheep. “Are you Oxford men, by any chance?” he asked, as if that might throw some light upon the matter. “Of Mary's? Really! I'm of Paul's myself. Ladyman—Billington Ladyman; you might remember my youngest brother. I could give you a room here if you could manage without sheets. My housekeeper has two days' holiday; she's foolishly taken the keys.”

“What can I do for you?” he asked. “Inn? Yes, there's the Blue Chequers, but I’m afraid it’s closed. They have early hours, which I’m glad about.” His eyes seemed to think about how to protect those damp sheep. “Are you guys from Oxford, by any chance?” he asked, as if that might help clarify things. “From Mary’s? Really! I’m from Paul’s myself. Ladyman—Billington Ladyman; you might remember my youngest brother. I could give you a room here if you don't mind missing the sheets. My housekeeper is on a two-day holiday; she foolishly took the keys.”

Shelton accepted gladly, feeling that the intonation in the parson's voice was necessary unto his calling, and that he did not want to patronise.

Shelton happily accepted, sensing that the tone in the pastor's voice was essential to his role, and that he didn't want to come off as patronizing.

“You 're hungry, I expect, after your tramp. I'm very much afraid there 's—er—nothing in the house but bread; I could boil you water; hot lemonade is better than nothing.”

“You're probably hungry after your walk. I'm really afraid there’s—um—nothing in the house but bread; I can boil you some water; hot lemonade is better than nothing.”

Conducting them into the kitchen, he made a fire, and put a kettle on to boil; then, after leaving them to shed their soaking clothes, returned with ancient, greenish coats, some carpet slippers, and some blankets. Wrapped in these, and carrying their glasses, the travellers followed to the study, where, by doubtful lamp-light, he seemed, from books upon the table, to have been working at his sermon.

Leading them into the kitchen, he started a fire and put a kettle on to boil; then, after leaving them to change out of their wet clothes, he returned with old, greenish coats, some carpet slippers, and blankets. Wrapped in these and holding their glasses, the travelers followed him to the study, where, in the dim light of a lamp, it appeared he had been working on his sermon, judging by the books on the table.

“We 're giving you a lot of trouble,” said Shelton, “it's really very good of you.”

“We're causing you a lot of trouble,” Shelton said, “it's really very kind of you.”

“Not at all,” the parson answered; “I'm only grieved the house is empty.”

“Not at all,” the parson replied; “I’m just sorry the house is empty.”

It was a truly dismal contrast to the fatness of the land they had been passing through, and the parson's voice issuing from bloodless lips, although complacent, was pathetic. It was peculiar, that voice of his, seeming to indicate an intimate acquaintanceship with what was fat and fine, to convey contempt for the vulgar need of money, while all the time his eyes—those watery, ascetic eyes—as plain as speech they said, “Oh, to know what it must be like to have a pound or two to spare just once a year, or so!”

It was a really bleak contrast to the richness of the land they had been traveling through, and the pastor's voice, coming from pale lips, though self-satisfied, was sad. His voice was strange, seeming to show a close familiarity with what was abundant and good, as if mocking the basic need for money, while all the time his eyes—those watery, ascetic eyes—clearly said, “Oh, to know what it must be like to have a pound or two to spare just once a year, or so!”

Everything in the room had been bought for cheapness; no luxuries were there, and necessaries not enough. It was bleak and bare; the ceiling cracked, the wall-paper discoloured, and those books—prim, shining books, fat-backed, with arms stamped on them—glared in the surrounding barrenness.

Everything in the room had been bought cheaply; there were no luxuries, and the essentials were lacking. It was dull and empty; the ceiling was cracked, the wallpaper was faded, and those books—neat, shiny books, thick with embossed covers—stood out against the surrounding emptiness.

“My predecessor,” said the parson, “played rather havoc with the house. The poor fellow had a dreadful struggle, I was told. You can, unfortunately, expect nothing else these days, when livings have come down so terribly in value! He was a married man—large family!”

“My predecessor,” said the parson, “really messed up the house. I heard the poor guy had a tough time. Unfortunately, you can’t expect anything different these days, when the value of livings has dropped so drastically! He was a married man with a big family!”

Crocker, who had drunk his steaming lemonade, was smiling and already nodding in his chair; with his black garment buttoned closely round his throat, his long legs rolled up in a blanket, and stretched towards the feeble flame of the newly-lighted fire, he had a rather patchy air. Shelton, on the other hand, had lost his feeling of fatigue; the strangeness of the place was stimulating his brain; he kept stealing glances at the scantiness around; the room, the parson, the furniture, the very fire, all gave him the feeling caused by seeing legs that have outgrown their trousers. But there was something underlying that leanness of the landscape, something superior and academic, which defied all sympathy. It was pure nervousness which made him say:

Crocker, who had finished his hot lemonade, was smiling and already nodding in his chair. With his black outfit tightly buttoned around his neck, his long legs wrapped in a blanket, stretched out toward the weak flame of the newly lit fire, he looked a bit mismatched. Shelton, on the other hand, had shed his fatigue; the unfamiliarity of the place was energizing his mind. He kept sneaking glances at the sparse surroundings—the room, the pastor, the furniture, even the fire—gave him the impression of seeing legs that had outgrown their pants. But there was something beneath that bare landscape, something superior and scholarly, that resisted any sense of sympathy. It was pure nervousness that made him say:

“Ah! why do they have such families?”

“Ah! why do they have families like that?”

A faint red mounted to the parson's cheeks; its appearance there was startling, and Crocker chuckled, as a sleepy man will chuckle who feels bound to show that he is not asleep.

A faint red flushed the parson's cheeks; seeing it there was unexpected, and Crocker laughed, like a sleepy person chuckling to prove they’re not actually asleep.

“It's very unfortunate,” murmured the parson, “certainly, in many cases.”

“It's really unfortunate,” the parson said softly, “definitely, in a lot of situations.”

Shelton would now have changed the subject, but at this moment the unhappy Crocker snored. Being a man of action, he had gone to sleep.

Shelton would now have changed the subject, but at this moment the unfortunate Crocker was snoring. Being a man of action, he had fallen asleep.

“It seems to me,” said Shelton hurriedly, as he saw the parson's eyebrows rising at the sound, “almost what you might call wrong.”

“It seems to me,” Shelton said quickly, noticing the parson's eyebrows raise at the sound, “it's almost what you might call wrong.”

“Dear me, but how can it be wrong?”

“Wow, but how can it be wrong?”

Shelton now felt that he must justify his saying somehow.

Shelton now felt that he needed to justify what he had said somehow.

“I don't know,” he said, “only one hears of such a lot of cases—clergymen's families; I've two uncles of my own, who—”

“I don’t know,” he said, “you just keep hearing about so many cases—clergymen's families; I've got two uncles of my own, who—”

A new expression gathered on the parson's face; his mouth had tightened, and his chin receded slightly. “Why, he 's like a mule!” thought Shelton. His eyes, too, had grown harder, greyer, and more parroty. Shelton no longer liked his face.

A new look came over the parson's face; his mouth tightened, and his chin pulled back a bit. “Wow, he's like a mule!” thought Shelton. His eyes had also become harder, grayer, and more birdlike. Shelton no longer liked his face.

“Perhaps you and I,” the parson said, “would not understand each other on such matters.”

“Maybe you and I,” the parson said, “just wouldn’t see eye to eye on these issues.”

And Shelton felt ashamed.

And Shelton felt embarrassed.

“I should like to ask you a question in turn, however,” the parson said, as if desirous of meeting Shelton on his low ground: “How do you justify marriage if it is not to follow the laws of nature?”

“I’d like to ask you a question, though,” the parson said, trying to connect with Shelton on his level. “How do you justify marriage if it doesn’t align with the laws of nature?”

“I can only tell you what I personally feel.”

“I can only tell you what I feel.”

“My dear sir, you forget that a woman's chief delight is in her motherhood.”

“My dear sir, you forget that a woman's greatest joy comes from being a mother.”

“I should have thought it a pleasure likely to pall with too much repetition. Motherhood is motherhood, whether of one or of a dozen.”

“I would have thought that it might become boring with too much repetition. Motherhood is motherhood, whether you have one child or a dozen.”

“I 'm afraid,” replied the parson, with impatience, though still keeping on his guest's low ground, “your theories are not calculated to populate the world.”

“I’m afraid,” replied the parson, with impatience, though still maintaining his guest's low ground, “your theories won’t help to grow the population.”

“Have you ever lived in London?” Shelton asked. “It always makes me feel a doubt whether we have any right to have children at all.”

“Have you ever lived in London?” Shelton asked. “It always makes me question whether we even have the right to have children at all.”

“Surely,” said the parson with wonderful restraint, and the joints of his fingers cracked with the grip he had upon his chair, “you are leaving out duty towards the country; national growth is paramount!”

“Surely,” said the pastor with remarkable self-control, and the joints of his fingers cracked from the grip he had on his chair, “you’re forgetting about your duty to the country; national growth is essential!”

“There are two ways of looking at that. It depends on what you want your country to become.”

“There are two ways to look at that. It depends on what you want your country to be.”

“I did n't know,” said the parson—fanaticism now had crept into his smile—“there could be any doubt on such a subject.”

“I didn't know,” said the parson—fanaticism now had crept into his smile—“there could be any doubt on such a subject.”

The more Shelton felt that commands were being given him, the more controversial he naturally became—apart from the merits of this subject, to which he had hardly ever given thought.

The more Shelton sensed that orders were being issued to him, the more controversial he naturally became—aside from the merits of this topic, which he had hardly ever considered.

“I dare say I'm wrong,” he said, fastening his eyes on the blanket in which his legs were wrapped; “but it seems to me at least an open question whether it's better for the country to be so well populated as to be quite incapable of supporting itself.”

“I might be wrong,” he said, focusing on the blanket wrapped around his legs; “but it seems to me that it’s at least up for debate whether it’s better for the country to be so populated that it can’t support itself at all.”

“Surely,” said the parson, whose face regained its pallor, “you're not a Little Englander?”

“Surely,” said the pastor, whose face regained its paleness, “you're not someone who only cares about England?”

On Shelton this phrase had a mysterious effect. Resisting an impulse to discover what he really was, he answered hastily:

On Shelton, this phrase had a mysterious effect. Fighting the urge to find out what he really was, he quickly replied:

“Of course I'm not!”

“Of course, I'm not!”

The parson followed up his triumph, and, shifting the ground of the discussion from Shelton's to his own, he gravely said:

The pastor built on his success and, changing the focus of the conversation from Shelton to himself, he said seriously:

“Surely you must see that your theory is founded in immorality. It is, if I may say so, extravagant, even wicked.”

“Surely you can see that your theory is based on immoral principles. It is, if I may say so, outrageous, even wrong.”

But Shelton, suffering from irritation at his own dishonesty, replied with heat:

But Shelton, feeling frustrated with his own dishonesty, responded angrily:

“Why not say at once, sir, 'hysterical, unhealthy'. Any opinion which goes contrary to that of the majority is always called so, I believe.”

“Why not just say it straight, sir, 'hysterical, unhealthy'? Any opinion that goes against what most people think is always labeled that way, I think.”

“Well,” returned the parson, whose eyes seemed trying to bind Shelton to his will, “I must say your ideas do seem to me both extravagant and unhealthy. The propagation of children is enjoined of marriage.”

“Well,” replied the parson, his eyes looking as if they were trying to compel Shelton to agree, “I have to say your ideas seem both outrageous and unhealthy to me. Having children is a duty of marriage.”

Shelton bowed above his blanket, but the parson did not smile.

Shelton bent down over his blanket, but the pastor didn't smile.

“We live in very dangerous times,” he said, “and it grieves me when a man of your standing panders to these notions.”

“We live in very dangerous times,” he said, “and it bothers me when someone of your status caters to these ideas.”

“Those,” said Shelton, “whom the shoe does n't pinch make this rule of morality, and thrust it on to such as the shoe does pinch.”

“Those,” said Shelton, “who aren't affected by the shoe create this moral rule and impose it on those who are affected by it.”

“The rule was never made,” said the parson; “it was given us.”

“The rule was never made,” said the pastor; “it was given to us.”

“Oh!” said Shelton, “I beg your pardon.” He was in danger of forgetting the delicate position he was in. “He wants to ram his notions down my throat,” he thought; and it seemed to him that the parson's face had grown more like a mule's, his accent more superior, his eyes more dictatorial: To be right in this argument seemed now of great importance, whereas, in truth, it was of no importance whatsoever. That which, however, was important was the fact that in nothing could they ever have agreed.

“Oh!” Shelton said, “I’m really sorry.” He was at risk of forgetting the sensitive situation he was in. “He wants to force his ideas on me,” he thought; and it felt to him like the minister's face had become more like a mule’s, his tone more condescending, his eyes more commanding: Being correct in this debate now seemed to matter a lot, even though, in reality, it didn’t matter at all. What was important, though, was that they could never agree on anything.

But Crocker had suddenly ceased to snore; his head had fallen so that a peculiar whistling arose instead. Both Shelton and the parson looked at him, and the sight sobered them.

But Crocker had suddenly stopped snoring; his head had dropped in such a way that a strange whistling sound came out instead. Both Shelton and the parson looked at him, and the sight brought them back to reality.

“Your friend seems very tired,” said the parson.

“Your friend looks really tired,” said the pastor.

Shelton forgot all his annoyance, for his host seemed suddenly pathetic, with those baggy garments, hollow cheeks, and the slightly reddened nose that comes from not imbibing quite enough. A kind fellow, after all!

Shelton forgot all his frustration, as his host suddenly seemed quite tragic, with those loose clothes, sunken cheeks, and the slightly red nose that comes from not drinking enough. What a kind person, after all!

The kind fellow rose, and, putting his hands behind his back, placed himself before the blackening fire. Whole centuries of authority stood behind him. It was an accident that the mantelpiece was chipped and rusty, the fire-irons bent and worn, his linen frayed about the cuffs.

The kind man got up, and, putting his hands behind his back, stood in front of the darkening fire. Centuries of authority were behind him. It was just a coincidence that the mantelpiece was chipped and rusty, the fire tools were bent and worn, and his shirt cuffs were frayed.

“I don't wish to dictate,” said he, “but where it seems to me that you are wholly wrong in that your ideas foster in women those lax views of the family life that are so prevalent in Society nowadays.”

"I don't want to boss you around," he said, "but I think you're completely wrong because your ideas encourage women to have those relaxed views on family life that are so common in society today."

Thoughts of Antonia with her candid eyes, the touch of freckling on her pink-white skin, the fair hair gathered back, sprang up in Shelton, and that word—“lax” seemed ridiculous. And the women he was wont to see dragging about the streets of London with two or three small children, Women bent beneath the weight of babies that they could not leave, women going to work with babies still unborn, anaemic-looking women, impecunious mothers in his own class, with twelve or fourteen children, all the victims of the sanctity of marriage, and again the word “lax” seemed to be ridiculous.

Thoughts of Antonia with her honest eyes, the sprinkle of freckles on her pink-white skin, her fair hair tied back, flashed in Shelton's mind, and that word—“lax” felt absurd. And the women he usually saw dragging through the streets of London with two or three small kids, women hunched under the burden of babies they couldn’t leave behind, women going to work while still pregnant, pale-looking women, struggling mothers in his own class with twelve or fourteen kids, all the victims of the sanctity of marriage, and once again, the word “lax” seemed utterly ridiculous.

“We are not put into the world to exercise our wits,”—muttered Shelton.

“We aren’t put into the world to show off our cleverness,”—muttered Shelton.

“Our wanton wills,” the parson said severely.

“Our reckless desires,” the preacher said sternly.

“That, sir, may have been all right for the last generation, the country is more crowded now. I can't see why we should n't decide it for ourselves.”

“That, sir, might have been fine for the last generation, but the country is more crowded now. I don’t see why we shouldn’t make our own decisions.”

“Such a view of morality,” said the parson, looking down at Crocker with a ghostly smile, “to me is unintelligible.”

“Such a view of morality,” said the parson, looking down at Crocker with a ghostly smile, “is completely incomprehensible to me.”

Cracker's whistling grew in tone and in variety.

Cracker's whistling became more tuneful and diverse.

“What I hate,” said Shelton, “is the way we men decide what women are to bear, and then call them immoral, decadent, or what you will, if they don't fall in with our views.”

“What I hate,” said Shelton, “is how we men decide what women should endure, and then label them as immoral, decadent, or whatever else, if they don’t agree with our opinions.”

“Mr. Shelton,” said the parson, “I think we may safely leave it in the hands of God.”

“Mr. Shelton,” said the pastor, “I think we can safely leave it in God’s hands.”

Shelton was silent.

Shelton was quiet.

“The questions of morality,” said the parson promptly, “have always lain through God in the hands of men, not women. We are the reasonable sex.”

“The questions of morality,” said the parson quickly, “have always rested with God in the hands of men, not women. We are the rational sex.”

Shelton stubbornly replied

Shelton firmly responded

“We 're certainly the greater humbugs, if that 's the same.”

“We're definitely the bigger fakes if that's the case.”

“This is too bad,” exclaimed the parson with some heat.

"This is really unfortunate," the parson said, a little heatedly.

“I 'm sorry, sir; but how can you expect women nowadays to have the same views as our grandmothers? We men, by our commercial enterprise, have brought about a different state of things; yet, for the sake of our own comfort, we try to keep women where they were. It's always those men who are most keen about their comfort”—and in his heat the sarcasm of using the word “comfort” in that room was lost on him—“who are so ready to accuse women of deserting the old morality.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but how can you expect women today to have the same views as our grandmothers? We men, through our business ventures, have created a different situation, yet, for our own convenience, we try to keep women in the past. It’s always those men who care the most about their comfort”—and in his passion, the irony of using the word “comfort” in that room went over his head—“who are so quick to accuse women of abandoning the old morality.”

The parson quivered with impatient irony.

The pastor trembled with impatient sarcasm.

“Old morality! new morality!” he said. “These are strange words.”

“Old morality! New morality!” he said. “Those are strange words.”

“Forgive me,” explained Shelton; “we 're talking of working morality, I imagine. There's not a man in a million fit to talk of true morality.”

“Forgive me,” Shelton said, “we’re discussing practical morality, I assume. There’s hardly anyone in a million who’s qualified to talk about real morality.”

The eyes of his host contracted.

The host glared.

“I think,” he said—and his voice sounded as if he had pinched it in the endeavour to impress his listener—“that any well-educated man who honestly tries to serve his God has the right humbly—I say humbly—to claim morality.”

“I think,” he said—and his voice sounded like he was straining to impress his listener—“that any well-educated person who sincerely tries to serve their God has the right, humbly—I say humbly—to assert their morality.”

Shelton was on the point of saying something bitter, but checked himself. “Here am I,” thought he, “trying to get the last word, like an old woman.”

Shelton was just about to say something harsh but stopped himself. "Here I am," he thought, "trying to have the final say, like an old lady."

At this moment there was heard a piteous mewing; the parson went towards the door.

At that moment, a sad meowing was heard; the priest walked over to the door.

“Excuse me a moment; I 'm afraid that's one of my cats out in the wet.” He returned a minute later with a wet cat in his arms. “They will get out,” he said to Shelton, with a smile on his thin face, suffused by stooping. And absently he stroked the dripping cat, while a drop of wet ran off his nose. “Poor pussy, poor pussy!” The sound of that “Poor pussy!” like nothing human in its cracked superiority, the softness of that smile, like the smile of gentleness itself, haunted Shelton till he fell asleep.

“Excuse me for a moment; I think one of my cats is out in the rain.” He came back a minute later, holding a wet cat in his arms. “They will escape,” he said to Shelton, smiling with his thin face, bent from stooping. He absentmindedly stroked the dripping cat while a drop of water fell from his nose. “Poor kitty, poor kitty!” The way he said “Poor kitty!” was so unlike anything human, with its cracked superiority, and the softness of that smile, like the smile of kindness itself, lingered in Shelton's mind until he fell asleep.





CHAPTER XVIII

ACADEMIC

The last sunlight was playing on the roofs when the travellers entered that High Street grave and holy to all Oxford men. The spirit hovering above the spires was as different from its concretions in their caps and gowns as ever the spirit of Christ was from church dogmas.

The last rays of sunlight were shining on the rooftops when the travelers arrived at that High Street, which is revered and sacred to everyone from Oxford. The atmosphere hovering above the spires was as different from the reality of their caps and gowns as the essence of Christ is from church doctrines.

“Shall we go into Grinnings'.” asked Shelton, as they passed the club.

“Should we go into Grinnings'?” Shelton asked as they passed the club.

But each looked at his clothes, for two elegant young men in flannel suits were coming out.

But each looked at his clothes, because two stylish young men in flannel suits were coming out.

“You go,” said Crocker, with a smirk.

"You go," Crocker said with a smirk.

Shelton shook his head. Never before had he felt such love for this old city. It was gone now from out his life, but everything about it seemed so good and fine; even its exclusive air was not ignoble. Clothed in the calm of history, the golden web of glorious tradition, radiant with the alchemy of memories, it bewitched him like the perfume of a woman's dress. At the entrance of a college they glanced in at the cool grey patch of stone beyond, and the scarlet of a window flowerbox—secluded, mysteriously calm—a narrow vision of the sacred past. Pale and trencher-capped, a youth with pimply face and random nose, grabbing at his cloven gown, was gazing at the noticeboard. The college porter—large man, fresh-faced, and small-mouthed—stood at his lodge door in a frank and deferential attitude. An image of routine, he looked like one engaged to give a decorous air to multitudes of pecadilloes. His blue eyes rested on the travellers. “I don't know you, sirs, but if you want to speak I shall be glad to hear the observations you may have to make,” they seemed to say.

Shelton shook his head. Never before had he felt such love for this old city. It was gone now from his life, but everything about it felt so good and fine; even its exclusive vibe wasn't something to look down on. Wrapped in the calm of history, the golden threads of glorious tradition, glowing with the magic of memories, it enchanted him like the scent of a woman’s dress. At the entrance of a college, they glanced at the cool grey stone beyond, and the bright red of a window flowerbox—secluded, mysteriously calm—a narrow view of the sacred past. A pale youth in a cap with a pimpled face and crooked nose, tugging at his gown, was staring at the noticeboard. The college porter—a large, fresh-faced man with a small mouth—stood at his lodge door with a straightforward and respectful demeanor. An image of routine, he looked like someone meant to give a dignified air to many little offenses. His blue eyes rested on the travelers. “I don’t know you, sirs, but if you want to talk, I’d be happy to hear any thoughts you have,” they seemed to convey.

Against the wall reposed a bicycle with tennis-racquet buckled to its handle. A bull-dog bitch, working her snout from side to side, was snuffling horribly; the great iron-studded door to which her chain was fastened stayed immovable. Through this narrow mouth, human metal had been poured for centuries—poured, moulded, given back.

Against the wall rested a bicycle with a tennis racket strapped to its handle. A bulldog, working her nose from side to side, was snuffling loudly; the large, iron-studded door to which her chain was attached remained unyielding. Through this narrow opening, metal from humans had been poured for centuries—poured, molded, and returned.

“Come along,” said Shelton.

“Come on,” said Shelton.

They now entered the Bishop's Head, and had their dinner in the room where Shelton had given his Derby dinner to four-and-twenty well-bred youths; here was the picture of the racehorse that the wineglass, thrown by one of them, had missed when it hit the waiter; and there, serving Crocker with anchovy sauce, was the very waiter. When they had finished, Shelton felt the old desire to rise with difficulty from the table; the old longing to patrol the streets with arm hooked in some other arm; the old eagerness to dare and do something heroic—and unlawful; the old sense that he was of the forest set, in the forest college, of the forest country in the finest world. The streets, all grave and mellow in the sunset, seemed to applaud this after-dinner stroll; the entrance quad of his old college—spaciously majestic, monastically modern, for years the heart of his universe, the focus of what had gone before it in his life, casting the shadow of its grey walls over all that had come after-brought him a sense of rest from conflict, and trust in his own important safety. The garden-gate, whose lofty spikes he had so often crowned with empty water-bottles, failed to rouse him. Nor when they passed the staircase where he had flung a leg of lamb at some indelicate disturbing tutor, did he feel remorse. High on that staircase were the rooms in which he had crammed for his degree, upon the system by which the scholar simmers on the fire of cramming, boils over at the moment of examination, and is extinct for ever after. His coach's face recurred to him, a man with thrusting eyes, who reeled off knowledge all the week, and disappeared to town on Sundays.

They now entered the Bishop's Head and had their dinner in the room where Shelton had hosted his Derby dinner for twenty-four well-bred young men; here hung the picture of the racehorse that the wineglass, thrown by one of them, had missed when it hit the waiter; and there, serving Crocker with anchovy sauce, was that very waiter. When they finished, Shelton felt the familiar struggle to get up from the table; the old urge to walk the streets with his arm linked in someone else's; the old excitement to take on something heroic—and unlawful; the old feeling that he belonged to the forest group, in the forest college, of the forest country in the finest world. The streets, all serious and warm in the sunset, seemed to cheer for this post-dinner walk; the entrance quad of his old college—spaciously grand, stylishly modern, for years the center of his universe, the focus of what had come before in his life, casting the shadow of its grey walls over everything that followed—brought him a sense of peace from conflict and confidence in his own safety. The garden gate, with its tall spikes that he had so often topped with empty water bottles, didn't inspire him. Nor did he feel any regret when they passed the staircase where he had thrown a leg of lamb at some inappropriate and annoying tutor. High on that staircase were the rooms where he had crammed for his degree, using the method by which a student simmers on the heat of last-minute studying, boils over at exam time, and then is finished forever after. His coach's face came to mind, a man with piercing eyes, who dispensed knowledge all week and vanished to town on Sundays.

They passed their tutor's staircase.

They passed their tutor's stairs.

“I wonder if little Turl would remember us?” said Crocker; “I should like to see him. Shall we go and look him up?”

“I wonder if little Turl would remember us?” said Crocker; “I’d like to see him. Should we go and find him?”

“Little Turl?” said Shelton dreamily.

"Little Turl?" Shelton said dreamily.

Mounting, they knocked upon a solid door.

Mounting, they knocked on a solid door.

“Come in,” said the voice of Sleep itself.

“Come in,” said the voice of Sleep itself.

A little man with a pink face and large red ears was sitting in a fat pink chair, as if he had been grown there.

A small man with a pink face and big red ears was sitting in a oversized pink chair, as if he had been grown there.

“What do you want?” he asked of them, blinking.

“What do you want?” he asked them, blinking.

“Don't you know me, sir?”

"Don't you recognize me, sir?"

“God bless me! Crocker, isn't it? I didn't recognise you with a beard.”

“Wow, is that you, Crocker? I didn't recognize you with that beard.”

Crocker, who had not been shaved since starting on his travels, chuckled feebly.

Crocker, who hadn't shaved since he began his travels, chuckled weakly.

“You remember Shelton, sir?” he said.

“You remember Shelton, sir?” he asked.

“Shelton? Oh yes! How do you do, Shelton? Sit down; take a cigar”; and, crossing his fat little legs, the little gentleman looked them up and down with drowsy interest, as who should say, “Now, after, all you know, why come and wake me up like this?”

“Shelton? Oh yes! How's it going, Shelton? Have a seat; enjoy a cigar”; and, crossing his chubby little legs, the little man glanced at them with sleepy curiosity, as if to say, “Now, really, why wake me up like this?”

Shelton and Crocker took two other chairs; they too seemed thinking, “Yes, why did we come and wake him up like this?” And Shelton, who could not tell the reason why, took refuge in the smoke of his cigar. The panelled walls were hung with prints of celebrated Greek remains; the soft, thick carpet on the floor was grateful to his tired feet; the backs of many books gleamed richly in the light of the oil lamps; the culture and tobacco smoke stole on his senses; he but vaguely comprehended Crocker's amiable talk, vaguely the answers of his little host, whose face, blinking behind the bowl of his huge meerschaum pipe, had such a queer resemblance to a moon. The door was opened, and a tall creature, whose eyes were large and brown, whose face was rosy and ironical, entered with a manly stride.

Shelton and Crocker grabbed two other chairs; they both seemed to be thinking, “Yeah, why did we come and wake him up like this?” And Shelton, who couldn’t figure out the reason, sought comfort in his cigar smoke. The paneled walls displayed prints of famous Greek ruins; the soft, thick carpet felt good under his tired feet; the spines of many books shone richly in the light of the oil lamps; the atmosphere of culture and tobacco smoke enveloped him; he barely understood Crocker's friendly chatter, and only vaguely caught the responses of his little host, whose face, blinking behind the bowl of his large meerschaum pipe, oddly resembled a moon. The door opened, and a tall figure walked in with a confident stride, with large brown eyes and a rosy, ironic face.

“Oh!” he said, looking round him with his chin a little in the air, “am I intruding, Turl?”

“Oh!” he said, looking around with his chin slightly raised, “am I interrupting, Turl?”

The little host, blinking more than ever, murmured,

The little host, blinking more than ever, whispered,

“Not at all, Berryman—take a pew!”

“Not at all, Berryman—take a seat!”

The visitor called Berryman sat down, and gazed up at the wall with his fine eyes.

The visitor named Berryman sat down and looked up at the wall with his sharp eyes.

Shelton had a faint remembrance of this don, and bowed; but the newcomer sat smiling, and did not notice the salute.

Shelton faintly remembered this guy and bowed, but the newcomer just sat there smiling and didn’t acknowledge the greeting.

“Trimmer and Washer are coming round,” he said, and as he spoke the door opened to admit these gentlemen. Of the same height, but different appearance, their manner was faintly jocular, faintly supercilious, as if they tolerated everything. The one whose name was Trimmer had patches of red on his large cheek-bones, and on his cheeks a bluish tint. His lips were rather full, so that he had a likeness to a spider. Washer, who was thin and pale, wore an intellectual smile.

“Trimmer and Washer are coming over,” he said, and just then the door opened to let them in. They were the same height but looked different, their demeanor slightly playful, slightly arrogant, as if they accepted everything with a hint of superiority. Trimmer had reddish patches on his prominent cheekbones, and his cheeks had a bluish hue. His lips were quite full, giving him a resemblance to a spider. Washer, on the other hand, was thin and pale, sporting an intellectual smile.

The little fat host moved the hand that held the meerschaum.

The chubby host moved the hand that held the meerschaum pipe.

“Crocker, Shelton,” he said.

“Crocker, Shelton,” he said.

An awkward silence followed. Shelton tried to rouse the cultured portion of his wits; but the sense that nothing would be treated seriously paralysed his faculties; he stayed silent, staring at the glowing tip of his cigar. It seemed to him unfair to have intruded on these gentlemen without its having been made quite clear to them beforehand who and what he was; he rose to take his leave, but Washer had begun to speak.

An awkward silence followed. Shelton tried to engage his more refined thoughts, but the feeling that nothing would be taken seriously left him unable to respond; he remained silent, staring at the glowing end of his cigar. He thought it was unfair to have interrupted these gentlemen without making it clear to them beforehand who he was and what he was about; he stood up to leave, but Washer had started to speak.

“Madame Bovary!” he said quizzically, reading the title of the book on the little fat man's bookrest; and, holding it closer to his boiled-looking eyes, he repeated, as though it were a joke, “Madame Bovary!”

“Madame Bovary!” he said with a raised eyebrow, reading the title of the book on the little fat man's bookrest; and, bringing it closer to his shiny eyes, he repeated, as if it were a joke, “Madame Bovary!”

“Do you mean to say, Turl, that you can stand that stuff?” said Berryman.

“Are you saying, Turl, that you can tolerate that stuff?” said Berryman.

As might have been expected, this celebrated novel's name had galvanised him into life; he strolled over to the bookcase, took down a book, opened it, and began to read, wandering in a desultory way about the room.

As expected, the title of this famous novel had energized him; he walked over to the bookshelf, grabbed a book, opened it, and started reading, aimlessly moving around the room.

“Ha! Berryman,” said a conciliatory voice behind—it came from Trimmer, who had set his back against the hearth, and grasped with either hand a fistful of his gown—“the book's a classic!”

“Ha! Berryman,” said a friendly voice from behind—it was Trimmer, who had his back against the fireplace, holding onto his gown with both hands—“the book's a classic!”

“Classic!” exclaimed Berryman, transfixing Shelton with his eyes; “the fellow ought to have been horsewhipped for writing such putridity!”

“Classic!” Berryman exclaimed, locking eyes with Shelton; “that guy should have been horsewhipped for writing such garbage!”

A feeling of hostility instantly sprang up in Shelton; he looked at his little host, who, however, merely blinked.

A sense of hostility immediately arose in Shelton; he glanced at his young host, who simply blinked.

“Berryman only means,” explains Washer, a certain malice in his smile, “that the author is n't one of his particular pets.”

“Berryman only means,” Washer explains, a hint of malice in his smile, “that the author isn't one of his favorite writers.”

“For God's sake, you know, don't get Berryman on his horse!” growled the little fat man suddenly.

“For heaven's sake, you know, don’t get Berryman on his horse!” the little fat man suddenly growled.

Berryman returned his volume to the shelf and took another down. There was something almost godlike in his sarcastic absent-mindedness.

Berryman put his book back on the shelf and grabbed another one. There was something almost divine about his sarcastic absent-mindedness.

“Imagine a man writing that stuff,” he said, “if he'd ever been at Eton! What do we want to know about that sort of thing? A writer should be a sportsman and a gentleman”; and again he looked down over his chin at Shelton, as though expecting him to controvert the sentiment.

“Imagine a guy writing that stuff,” he said, “if he’d ever been to Eton! What do we care about that kind of thing? A writer should be an athlete and a gentleman”; and again he looked down over his chin at Shelton, as if waiting for him to challenge the idea.

“Don't you—” began the latter.

“Don’t you—” started the latter.

But Berryman's attention had wandered to the wall.

But Berryman's attention had drifted to the wall.

“I really don't care,” said he, “to know what a woman feels when she is going to the dogs; it does n't interest me.”

“I really don't care,” he said, “to know what a woman feels when she's hitting rock bottom; it doesn't interest me.”

The voice of Trimmer made things pleasant:

The sound of Trimmer's voice made everything enjoyable:

“Question of moral standards, that, and nothing more.”

“It's just a matter of moral standards, and nothing else.”

He had stretched his legs like compasses,—and the way he grasped his gown-wings seemed to turn him to a pair of scales. His lowering smile embraced the room, deprecating strong expressions. “After all,” he seemed to say, “we are men of the world; we know there 's not very much in anything. This is the modern spirit; why not give it a look in?”

He stretched his legs like a pair of compasses, and how he held his gown-wings made him look like a set of scales. His dark smile filled the room, dismissing any strong emotions. “After all,” he seemed to say, “we're worldly people; we know there's not much to anything. This is the modern vibe; why not take a closer look?”

“Do I understand you to say, Berryman, that you don't enjoy a spicy book?” asked Washer with his smile; and at this question the little fat man sniggered, blinking tempestuously, as if to say, “Nothing pleasanter, don't you know, before a hot fire in cold weather.”

“Are you telling me, Berryman, that you don’t like a spicy book?” asked Washer with a smile; and at this question, the little fat man snickered, blinking rapidly, as if to say, “There’s nothing nicer, you know, than sitting by a warm fire during cold weather.”

Berryman paid no attention to the impertinent inquiry, continuing to dip into his volume and walk up and down.

Berryman ignored the rude question, keep dipping into his book and walking back and forth.

“I've nothing to say,” he remarked, stopping before Shelton, and looking down, as if at last aware of him, “to those who talk of being justified through Art. I call a spade a spade.”

“I have nothing to say,” he said, pausing in front of Shelton and looking down, as if finally noticing him, “to those who claim they are justified through Art. I call it like I see it.”

Shelton did not answer, because he could not tell whether Berryman was addressing him or society at large. And Berryman went on:

Shelton didn’t respond, as he couldn’t tell if Berryman was talking to him or to society in general. And Berryman continued:

“Do we want to know about the feelings of a middle-class woman with a taste for vice? Tell me the point of it. No man who was in the habit of taking baths would choose such a subject.”

“Do we really want to hear about the feelings of a middle-class woman who has a taste for vice? What's the point? No man who regularly takes baths would pick a topic like that.”

“You come to the question of-ah-subjects,” the voice of Trimmer genially buzzed he had gathered his garments tight across his back—“my dear fellow, Art, properly applied, justifies all subjects.”

“You come to the question of—uh—subjects,” Trimmer's voice buzzed cheerfully as he adjusted his clothes snugly across his back. “My dear fellow, art, when used correctly, justifies all subjects.”

“For Art,” squeaked Berryman, putting back his second volume and taking down a third, “you have Homer, Cervantes, Shakespeare, Ossian; for garbage, a number of unwashed gentlemen.”

“For Art,” squeaked Berryman, putting back his second volume and taking down a third, “you have Homer, Cervantes, Shakespeare, Ossian; for junk, a bunch of unwashed guys.”

There was a laugh; Shelton glanced round at all in turn. With the exception of Crocker, who was half asleep and smiling idiotically, they wore, one and all, a look as if by no chance could they consider any subject fit to move their hearts; as if, one and all, they were so profoundly anchored on the sea of life that waves could only seem impertinent. It may have been some glimmer in this glance of Shelton's that brought Trimmer once more to the rescue with his compromising air.

There was a laugh; Shelton looked around at everyone in turn. Except for Crocker, who was half asleep and smiling stupidly, they all had expressions that suggested no topic could possibly stir their feelings; as if they were so deeply rooted in the sea of life that any waves would just seem rude. Perhaps it was a hint in Shelton's glance that prompted Trimmer to come to the rescue again with his uneasy demeanor.

“The French,” said he, “have quite a different standard from ourselves in literature, just as they have a different standard in regard to honour. All this is purely artificial.”

“The French,” he said, “have a completely different standard than we do in literature, just like they have a different standard when it comes to honor. This is all totally artificial.”

What he, meant, however, Shelton found it difficult to tell.

What he meant, however, Shelton found it hard to say.

“Honour,” said Washer, “'l'honneur, die Ehre' duelling, unfaithful wives—”

“Honor,” said Washer, “‘l'honneur, die Ehre’ dueling, unfaithful wives—”

He was clearly going to add to this, but it was lost; for the little fat man, taking the meerschaum with trembling fingers, and holding it within two inches of his chin, murmured:

He was clearly going to say more, but it got lost; for the little fat man, taking the meerschaum with shaking fingers and holding it just two inches from his chin, murmured:

“You fellows, Berryman's awf'ly strong on honour.”

“You guys, Berryman is really big on honor.”

He blinked twice, and put the meerschaum back between his lips.

He blinked twice and put the meerschaum back between his lips.

Without returning the third volume to its shelf, Berryman took down a fourth; with chest expanded, he appeared about to use the books as dumb-bells.

Without putting the third volume back on its shelf, Berryman took down a fourth; with his chest puffed up, he looked ready to use the books as dumbbells.

“Quite so,” said Trimmer; “the change from duelling to law courts is profoundly—”

“Absolutely,” said Trimmer; “the shift from dueling to courts is deeply—”

Whether he were going to say “significant” or “insignificant,” in Shelton's estimate he did not know himself. Fortunately Berryman broke in:

Whether he was about to say “significant” or “insignificant,” in Shelton's opinion he wasn't sure himself. Thankfully, Berryman interrupted:

“Law courts or not, when a man runs away with a wife of mine, I shall punch his head!”

“Whether it's in court or not, if a guy runs off with my wife, I'm going to knock him out!”

“Come, come!” said Turner, spasmodically grasping his two wings.

“Come on, come on!” said Turner, grabbing his two wings in a jerky manner.

Shelton had a gleam of inspiration. “If your wife deceived you,” he thought, looking at Trimmer's eyes, “you 'd keep it quiet, and hold it over her.”

Shelton had a spark of inspiration. “If your wife cheated on you,” he thought, looking into Trimmer's eyes, “you would keep it to yourself and use it against her.”

Washer passed his hand over his pale chaps: his smile had never wavered; he looked like one for ever lost in the making of an epigram.

Washer ran his hand over his pale cheeks: his smile had never faded; he looked like someone endlessly caught up in crafting a clever saying.

The punching theorist stretched his body, holding the books level with his shoulders, as though to stone his hearers with his point of view. His face grew paler, his fine eyes finer, his lips ironical. Almost painful was this combination of the “strong” man and the student who was bound to go to pieces if you hit him a smart blow.

The punching theorist stretched his body, holding the books level with his shoulders, as if to slam his point of view into his audience. His face grew paler, his sharp eyes sharper, his lips sardonic. This mix of the “strong” man and the student who would crumble with a hard hit was almost painfully evident.

“As for forgiving faithless wives,” he said, “and all that sort of thing, I don't believe in sentiment.”

“As for forgiving unfaithful wives,” he said, “and all that stuff, I don't buy into sentiment.”

The words were high-pitched and sarcastic. Shelton looked hastily around. All their faces were complacent. He grew red, and suddenly remarked, in a soft; clear voice:

The words were sharp and sarcastic. Shelton quickly glanced around. Everyone's faces looked smug. He turned red and suddenly said, in a soft, clear voice:

“I see!”

"Got it!"

He was conscious that he had never before made an impression of this sort, and that he never would again. The cold hostility flashing out all round was most enlightening; it instantly gave way to the polite, satirical indulgence peculiar to highly-cultivated men. Crocker rose nervously; he seemed scared, and was obviously relieved when Shelton, following his example, grasped the little fat man's hand, who said good-night in a voice shaken by tobacco.

He realized that he had never made such an impression before and likely never would again. The cold hostility radiating around him was quite revealing; it quickly turned into the polite, sarcastic tolerance typical of highly cultured people. Crocker stood up anxiously; he looked frightened and was clearly relieved when Shelton, mirroring his actions, shook the little fat man's hand, who said goodnight in a voice trembling from tobacco.

“Who are your unshaven friends?” he heard as the door was closed behind them.

“Who are your unshaven friends?” he heard as the door closed behind them.





CHAPTER XIX

AN INCIDENT

“Eleven o'clock,” said Crocker, as they went out of college. “I don't feel sleepy; shall we stroll along the 'High' a bit?”

“It's eleven o'clock,” Crocker said as they exited the college. “I’m not feeling sleepy; should we take a walk along the 'High' for a while?”

Shelton assented; he was too busy thinking of his encounter with the dons to heed the soreness of his feet. This, too, was the last day of his travels, for he had not altered his intention of waiting at Oxford till July.

Shelton agreed; he was too caught up in thoughts about his encounter with the professors to notice the pain in his feet. This was also the last day of his travels, as he hadn’t changed his plan to stay at Oxford until July.

“We call this place the heart of knowledge,” he said, passing a great building that presided, white and silent, over darkness; “it seems to me as little that, as Society is the heart of true gentility.”

“We call this place the heart of knowledge,” he said, passing a grand building that loomed, white and quiet, over the darkness; “it seems to me that Society is just as much the heart of true gentility.”

Crocker's answer was a grunt; he was looking at the stars, calculating possibly in how long he could walk to heaven.

Crocker's response was a grunt; he was staring at the stars, probably estimating how long it would take him to walk to heaven.

“No,” proceeded Shelton; “we've too much common-sense up here to strain our minds. We know when it's time to stop. We pile up news of Papias and all the verbs in 'ui' but as for news of life or of oneself! Real seekers after knowledge are a different sort. They fight in the dark—no quarter given. We don't grow that sort up here.”

“No,” Shelton continued; “we have too much common sense up here to overthink things. We know when to call it quits. We gather all the news about Papias and all the verbs in 'ui,' but when it comes to news about life or ourselves! True seekers of knowledge are a different breed. They battle in the dark—no mercy shown. We don’t raise that kind of people up here.”

“How jolly the limes smell!” said Crocker.

“How great do the limes smell!” said Crocker.

He had halted opposite a garden, and taken hold of Shelton by a button of his coat. His eyes, like a dog's, stared wistfully. It seemed as though he wished to speak, but feared to give offence.

He had stopped in front of a garden and grabbed Shelton by a button on his coat. His eyes, like a dog's, looked longingly. It seemed like he wanted to say something but was afraid of offending.

“They tell you,” pursued Shelton, “that we learn to be gentlemen up here. We learn that better through one incident that stirs our hearts than we learn it here in all the time we're up.”

“They tell you,” Shelton continued, “that we learn to be gentlemen up here. We learn that much better through one event that moves us than we do in all the time we spend here.”

“Hum!” muttered Crocker, twisting at the button; “those fellows who seemed the best sorts up here have turned out the best sorts afterwards.”

“Hum!” muttered Crocker, twisting at the button; “those guys who seemed like the best people up here have turned out to be the best people after all.”

“I hope not,” said Shelton gloomily; “I was a snob when I was up here. I believed all I was told, anything that made things pleasant; my 'set' were nothing but—”

“I hope not,” said Shelton gloomily; “I was a snob when I was up here. I believed everything I was told, anything that made things nice; my 'group' were nothing but—”

Crocker smiled in the darkness; he had been too “cranky” to belong to Shelton's “set.”

Crocker smiled in the dark; he had been too "cranky" to fit in with Shelton's "group."

“You never were much like your 'set,' old chap,” he said.

“You never really fit in with your crowd, my friend,” he said.

Shelton turned away, sniffing the perfume of the limes. Images were thronging through his mind. The faces of his old friends strangely mixed with those of people he had lately met—the girl in the train, Ferrand, the lady with the short, round, powdered face, the little barber; others, too, and floating, mysterious,—connected with them all, Antonia's face. The scent of the lime-trees drifted at him with its magic sweetness. From the street behind, the footsteps of the passers-by sounded muffled, yet exact, and on the breeze was borne the strain: “For he's a jolly good fellow!”

Shelton turned away, inhaling the scent of the limes. Images flooded his mind. The faces of his old friends blended oddly with those of people he had recently met—the girl on the train, Ferrand, the lady with the round, powdered face, the little barber; others too, floating and mysterious,—all connected with them, Antonia's face. The smell of the lime trees approached him with its magical sweetness. From the street behind, the footsteps of passing people sounded muted but clear, and on the breeze came the tune: “For he's a jolly good fellow!”

“For he's a jolly good fellow! For he's a jolly good fe-ellow! And so say all of us!”

“For he's a great guy! For he's a great guy! And so say all of us!”

“Ah!” he said, “they were good chaps.”

“Ah!” he said, “they were good guys.”

“I used to think,” said Crocker dreamily, “that some of them had too much side.”

“I used to think,” said Crocker dreamily, “that some of them were a bit too extra.”

And Shelton laughed.

And Shelton chuckled.

“The thing sickens me,” said he, “the whole snobbish, selfish business. The place sickens me, lined with cotton-wool-made so beastly comfortable.”

“The thing makes me sick,” he said, “the whole snobby, selfish situation. The place makes me sick, filled with cotton-wool that’s just so damn comfortable.”

Crocker shook his head.

Crocker shook his head.

“It's a splendid old place,” he said, his eyes fastening at last on Shelton's boots. “You know, old chap,” he stammered, “I think you—you ought to take care!”

“It's a great old place,” he said, finally looking at Shelton's boots. “You know, buddy,” he stammered, “I think you—you should be careful!”

“Take care? What of?”

"Take care? What for?"

Crocker pressed his arm convulsively.

Crocker squeezed his arm tightly.

“Don't be waxy, old boy,” he said; “I mean that you seem somehow—to be—to be losing yourself.”

“Don’t be cryptic, man,” he said; “I mean that you seem somehow—to be losing yourself.”

“Losing myself! Finding myself, you mean!”

“Losing myself! You mean finding myself!”

Crocker did not answer; his face was disappointed. Of what exactly was he thinking? In Shelton's heart there was a bitter pleasure in knowing that his friend was uncomfortable on his account, a sort of contempt, a sort of aching. Crocker broke the silence.

Crocker didn’t respond; he looked disappointed. What was he really thinking? Deep down, Shelton felt a twisted satisfaction knowing his friend was uneasy because of him, a mix of disdain and pain. Crocker finally spoke up.

“I think I shall do a bit more walking to-night,” he said; “I feel very fit. Don't you really mean to come any further with me, Bird?”

“I think I'll do a bit more walking tonight,” he said; “I feel really good. Are you sure you don't want to come a little further with me, Bird?”

And there was anxiety in his voice, as though Shelton were in danger of missing something good. The latter's feet had instantly begun to ache and burn.

And there was worry in his voice, as if Shelton was about to miss out on something great. Shelton's feet had immediately started to hurt and sting.

“No!”? he said; “you know what I'm staying here for.”

“No!” he said; “you know why I'm staying here.”

Crocker nodded.

Crocker nodded.

“She lives near here. Well, then, I'll say good-bye. I should like to do another ten miles to-night.”

“She lives close by. Well, I'll say goodbye then. I’d like to cover another ten miles tonight.”

“My dear fellow, you're tired and lame.”

“My dear friend, you look tired and hurt.”

Crocker chuckled.

Crocker laughed.

“No,” he said; “I want to get on. See you in London. Good-bye!” and, gripping Shelton's hand, he turned and limped away.

“No,” he said; “I want to move on. See you in London. Goodbye!” He shook Shelton's hand, then turned and limped away.

Shelton called after him: “Don't be an idiot: You 'll only knock yourself up.”

Shelton shouted after him, "Don't be stupid! You'll just end up hurting yourself."

But the sole answer was the pale moon of Crocker's face screwed round towards him in the darkness, and the waving of his stick.

But the only response was the pale moon of Crocker's face turned towards him in the darkness, and the waving of his stick.

Shelton strolled slowly on; leaning over the bridge, he watched the oily gleam of lamps, on the dark water underneath the trees. He felt relieved, yet sorry. His thoughts were random, curious, half mutinous, half sweet. That afternoon five years ago, when he had walked back from the river with Antonia across the Christchurch meadows, was vivid to his mind; the scent of that afternoon had never died away from him-the aroma of his love. Soon she would be his wife—his wife! The faces of the dons sprang up before him. They had wives, perhaps. Fat, lean, satirical, and compromising—what was it that through diversity they had in common? Cultured intolerance! . . . Honour! . . . A queer subject to discuss. Honour! The honour that made a fuss, and claimed its rights! And Shelton smiled. “As if man's honour suffered when he's injured!” And slowly he walked along the echoing, empty street to his room at the Bishop's Head. Next morning he received the following wire:

Shelton walked slowly on; leaning over the bridge, he watched the shiny reflections of lamps on the dark water below the trees. He felt relieved, but also a bit sad. His thoughts were scattered, curious, half rebellious, half sweet. That afternoon five years ago, when he had walked back from the river with Antonia across the Christchurch meadows, was clear in his mind; the scent of that day had never faded for him—the fragrance of his love. Soon she would be his wife—his wife! The faces of the professors came to mind. They probably had wives too. Some were fat, some were lean, all were ironic and compromising—what was it that they all had in common despite their differences? Cultured intolerance! . . . Honor! . . . A strange topic to discuss. Honor! The kind that makes a big deal of things and asserts its rights! And Shelton smiled. “As if a man’s honor is damaged when he’s hurt!” And he slowly walked along the echoing, empty street to his room at the Bishop's Head. The next morning he received the following wire:

     Thirty miles left eighteen hours heel bad but going
     strong                         CROCKER
Thirty miles left, feeling pretty rough after eighteen hours, but still going strong. CROCKER

He passed a fortnight at the Bishop's Head, waiting for the end of his probation, and the end seemed long in coming. To be so near Antonia, and as far as if he lived upon another planet, was worse than ever. Each day he took a sculling skiff, and pulled down to near Holm Oaks, on the chance of her being on the river; but the house was two miles off, and the chance but slender. She never came. After spending the afternoons like this he would return, pulling hard against the stream, with a queer feeling of relief, dine heartily, and fall a-dreaming over his cigar. Each morning he awoke in an excited mood, devoured his letter if he had one, and sat down to write to her. These letters of his were the most amazing portion of that fortnight. They were remarkable for failing to express any single one of his real thoughts, but they were full of sentiments which were not what he was truly feeling; and when he set himself to analyse, he had such moments of delirium that he was scared, and shocked, and quite unable to write anything. He made the discovery that no two human beings ever tell each other what they really feel, except, perhaps, in situations with which he could not connect Antonia's ice-blue eyes and brilliant smile. All the world was too engaged in planning decency.

He spent two weeks at the Bishop's Head, waiting for the end of his probation, and it felt like it was taking forever. Being so close to Antonia, yet feeling as distant as if he were on another planet, was more painful than ever. Every day he rented a small boat and rowed down to Holm Oaks, hoping to see her on the river; but the house was two miles away, and the chances were slim. She never showed up. After his afternoons like this, he would return, rowing hard against the current, feeling a strange sense of relief, have a hearty dinner, and daydream over his cigar. Each morning, he woke up excited, eagerly read any letters he had, and sat down to write to her. His letters were the most surprising part of those two weeks. They completely failed to convey any of his true feelings but were filled with sentiments that didn’t reflect what he really felt; and whenever he tried to analyze this, he would have such moments of confusion that it scared and shocked him, leaving him unable to write anything. He realized that no two people ever truly share what they feel, except maybe in situations that had nothing to do with Antonia's icy blue eyes and dazzling smile. The whole world seemed too busy pretending to be decent.

Absorbed by longings, he but vaguely realised the turmoil of Commemoration, which had gathered its hundreds for their annual cure of salmon mayonnaise and cheap champagne. In preparation for his visit to Holm Oaks he shaved his beard and had some clothes sent down from London. With them was forwarded a letter from Ferrand, which ran as follows:

Absorbed by his desires, he barely recognized the chaos of Commemoration, which had drawn together hundreds for their yearly fix of salmon mayonnaise and cheap champagne. To get ready for his trip to Holm Oaks, he shaved off his beard and had some clothes shipped down from London. Along with them was a letter from Ferrand, which said:

IMPERIAL PEACOCK HOTEL, FOLKESTONE,

Imperial Peacock Hotel, Folkestone,

June 20.

June 20th.

MY DEAR SIR,

Dear Sir,

Forgive me for not having written to you before, but I have been so bothered that I have felt no taste for writing; when I have the time, I have some curious stories to tell you. Once again I have encountered that demon of misfortune which dogs my footsteps. Being occupied all day and nearly all night upon business which brings me a heap of worries and next to no profit, I have no chance to look after my things. Thieves have entered my room, stolen everything, and left me an empty box. I am once again almost without clothes, and know not where to turn to make that figure necessary for the fulfilment of my duties. You see, I am not lucky. Since coming to your country, the sole piece of fortune I have had was to tumble on a man like you. Excuse me for not writing more at this moment. Hoping that you are in good health, and in affectionately pressing your hand,

Forgive me for not writing to you sooner, but I've been so overwhelmed that I haven't felt like writing. When I do have time, I have some interesting stories to share with you. Once again, I've run into that misfortune that seems to follow me around. I'm busy all day and almost all night with work that causes me a lot of stress and barely any profit, so I haven't been able to take care of my things. Thieves broke into my room, stole everything, and left me with an empty box. I'm nearly out of clothes again, and I don’t know where to turn to find what I need to fulfill my responsibilities. As you can see, I'm not very lucky. Since I came to your country, the only good fortune I've had was meeting someone like you. Sorry for not writing more right now. I hope you're doing well and I’m affectionately pressing your hand,

I am,

I'm,

Always your devoted

Forever your devoted

LOUIS FERRAND.

LOUIS FERRAND.

Upon reading this letter Shelton had once more a sense of being exploited, of which he was ashamed; he sat down immediately and wrote the following reply:

Upon reading this letter, Shelton felt once again like he was being taken advantage of, and he felt ashamed of it; he sat down right away and wrote the following reply:

BISHOPS HEAD HOTEL, OXFORD,

Bishop's Head Hotel, Oxford,

June 25.

June 25th.

MY DEAR FERRAND,

MY DEAR FERRAND,

I am grieved to hear of your misfortunes. I was much hoping that you had made a better start. I enclose you Post Office Orders for four pounds. Always glad to hear from you.

I’m sorry to hear about your troubles. I really hoped you would have a better beginning. I’m sending you Post Office Orders for four pounds. Always happy to hear from you.

Yours sincerely,

Best regards,

RICHARD SHELTON.

RICHARD SHELTON.

He posted it with the satisfaction that a man feels who nobly shakes off his responsibilities.

He posted it with the satisfaction that a person feels when they nobly let go of their responsibilities.

Three days before July he met with one of those disturbing incidents which befall no persons who attend quietly to their property and reputation.

Three days before July, he encountered one of those troubling incidents that rarely happen to people who are focused on managing their property and reputation.

The night was unbearably hot, and he had wandered out with his cigar; a woman came sidling up and spoke to him. He perceived her to be one of those made by men into mediums for their pleasure, to feel sympathy with whom was sentimental. Her face was flushed, her whisper hoarse; she had no attractions but the curves of a tawdry figure. Shelton was repelled by her proprietary tone, by her blowzy face, and by the scent of patchouli. Her touch on his arm startled him, sending a shiver through his marrow; he almost leaped aside, and walked the faster. But her breathing as she followed sounded laboured; it suddenly seemed pitiful that a woman should be panting after him like that.

The night was incredibly hot, and he had stepped outside with his cigar; a woman approached him and started to talk. He saw her as someone shaped by men for their pleasure, and feeling sorry for her seemed overly sentimental. Her face was flushed, her whisper was rough; she had no appeal other than the curves of a cheap figure. Shelton felt turned off by her possessive tone, her messy appearance, and the smell of patchouli. Her touch on his arm surprised him, sending a chill through him; he almost jumped away and quickened his pace. But her heavy breathing as she followed him sounded strained; it suddenly felt sad that a woman would be chasing after him like that.

“The least I can do,” he thought, “is to speak to her.” He stopped, and, with a mixture of hardness and compassion, said, “It 's impossible.”

“The least I can do,” he thought, “is to talk to her.” He paused and, with a mix of firmness and empathy, said, “It’s not possible.”

In spite of her smile, he saw by her disappointed eyes that she accepted the impossibility.

In spite of her smile, he noticed in her disappointed eyes that she accepted the impossibility.

“I 'm sorry,” he said.

“Sorry,” he said.

She muttered something. Shelton shook his head.

She mumbled something. Shelton shook his head.

“I 'm sorry,” he said once more. “Good.-night.”

“I'm sorry,” he said again. “Good night.”

The woman bit her lower lip.

The woman bit her bottom lip.

“Good-night,” she answered dully.

“Goodnight,” she replied flatly.

At the corner of the street he turned his head. The woman was hurrying uneasily; a policeman coming from behind had caught her by the arm.

At the corner of the street, he turned his head. The woman was rushing nervously; a police officer approaching from behind had grabbed her by the arm.

His heart began to beat. “Heavens!” he thought, “what shall I do now?” His first impulse was to walk away, and think no more about it—to act, indeed, like any averagely decent man who did not care to be concerned in such affairs.

His heart started to race. “Oh no!” he thought, “what do I do now?” His first instinct was to just walk away and forget about it—to behave like any decent person who didn't want to get involved in such matters.

He retraced his steps, however, and halted half a dozen paces from their figures.

He walked back and stopped about six steps away from them.

“Ask the gentleman! He spoke to me,” she was saying in her brassy voice, through the emphasis of which Shelton could detect her fear.

“Ask the guy! He talked to me,” she was saying in her loud voice, through the emphasis of which Shelton could sense her fear.

“That's all right,” returned the policeman, “we know all about that.”

“That's okay,” the policeman replied, “we know all about that.”

“You—police!” cried the woman tearfully; “I 've got to get my living, have n't I, the same as you?”

“You—police!” the woman cried, tears in her eyes. “I have to make a living, don’t I, just like you?”

Shelton hesitated, then, catching the expression in her frightened face, stepped forward. The policeman turned, and at the sight of his pale, heavy jowl, cut by the cheek-strap, and the bullying eyes, he felt both hate and fear, as if brought face to face with all that he despised and loathed, yet strangely dreaded. The cold certainty of law and order upholding the strong, treading underfoot the weak, the smug front of meanness that only the purest spirits may attack, seemed to be facing him. And the odd thing was, this man was only carrying out his duty. Shelton moistened his lips.

Shelton hesitated, then, noticing the scared look on her face, stepped forward. The policeman turned, and when he saw the man's pale, heavy jaw, marked by the cheek strap, and his intimidating eyes, he felt both anger and fear, as if confronted with everything he hated and despised, yet strangely feared. The cold reality of law and order supporting the strong and trampling the weak, the smug facade of cruelty that only the purest souls could challenge, seemed to be staring him down. And the strange part was, this guy was just doing his job. Shelton wet his lips.

“You're not going to charge her?”

“Are you really not going to charge her?”

“Aren't I?” returned the policeman.

"Aren't I?" replied the officer.

“Look here; constable, you 're making a mistake.”

“Listen, officer, you’re making a mistake.”

The policeman took out his note-book.

The cop pulled out his notebook.

“Oh, I 'm making a mistake? I 'll take your name and address, please; we have to report these things.”

“Oh, I'm making a mistake? Can I get your name and address, please? We need to report this.”

“By all means,” said Shelton, angrily giving it. “I spoke to her first.”

“Of course,” Shelton said angrily, handing it over. “I talked to her first.”

“Perhaps you'll come up to the court tomorrow morning, and repeat that,” replied the policeman, with incivility.

“Maybe you'll come to the court tomorrow morning and say that again,” replied the policeman rudely.

Shelton looked at him with all the force at his command.

Shelton stared at him with all the intensity he could muster.

“You had better be careful, constable,” he said; but in the act of uttering these words he thought how pitiable they sounded.

“You should really be careful, officer,” he said; but as he said this, he realized how pathetic it sounded.

“We 're not to be trifled with,” returned the policeman in a threatening voice.

“We're not to be messed with,” the policeman replied in a menacing tone.

Shelton could think of nothing but to repeat:

Shelton could think of nothing but to repeat:

“You had better be careful, constable.”

"Be careful, officer."

“You're a gentleman,” replied the policeman. “I'm only a policeman. You've got the riches, I've got the power.”

“You're a gentleman,” the policeman replied. “I'm just a cop. You've got the wealth, I've got the authority.”

Grasping the woman's arm, he began to move along with her.

Grabbing the woman's arm, he started to walk with her.

Shelton turned, and walked away.

Shelton turned and walked away.

He went to Grinnings' Club, and flung himself down upon a sofa. His feeling was not one of pity for the woman, nor of peculiar anger with the policeman, but rather of dissatisfaction with himself.

He went to Grinnings' Club and threw himself down on a sofa. He didn't feel pity for the woman or a particular anger toward the policeman; instead, he felt dissatisfaction with himself.

“What ought I to have done?” he thought, “the beggar was within his rights.”

“What should I have done?” he thought, “the beggar was within his rights.”

He stared at the pictures on the wall, and a tide of disgust surged up in him.

He stared at the pictures on the wall, and a wave of disgust washed over him.

“One or other of us,” he reflected, “we make these women what they are. And when we've made them, we can't do without them; we don't want to; but we give them no proper homes, so that they're reduced to prowl about the streets, and then we run them in. Ha! that's good—that's excellent! We run them in! And here we sit and carp. But what do we do? Nothing! Our system is the most highly moral known. We get the benefit without soiling even the hem of our phylacteries—the women are the only ones that suffer. And why should n't they—inferior things?”

“One of us,” he thought, “we create these women for what they are. And once we’ve shaped them, we can't live without them; we don’t want to. But we don’t provide them with proper homes, so they’re forced to wander the streets, and then we arrest them. Ha! That’s rich—that’s perfect! We arrest them! And here we are, complaining. But what do we actually do? Nothing! Our system is the most morally upright there is. We reap the benefits without even dirtying the hem of our garments—the women are the only ones who suffer. And why shouldn’t they—being the lesser beings?”

He lit a cigarette, and ordered the waiter to bring a drink.

He lit a cigarette and asked the waiter to bring a drink.

“I'll go to the Court,” he thought; but suddenly it occurred to him that the case would get into the local papers. The press would never miss so nice a little bit of scandal—“Gentleman v. Policeman!” And he had a vision of Antonia's father, a neighbouring and conscientious magistrate, solemnly reading this. Someone, at all events, was bound to see his name and make a point of mentioning it too good to be missed! And suddenly he saw with horror that to help the woman he would have to assert again that he had spoken to her first. “I must go to the Court!” he kept thinking, as if to assure himself that he was not a coward.

“I'll go to the court,” he thought; but suddenly it hit him that the case would end up in the local papers. The press would never pass up such a juicy bit of scandal—“Gentleman vs. Policeman!” And he imagined Antonia's father, a nearby and diligent magistrate, reading this with a serious expression. Someone, after all, was bound to see his name and make sure to mention it—too good to overlook! And then he realized with dread that to help the woman, he would have to confirm again that he had spoken to her first. “I have to go to the court!” he kept telling himself, as if to reassure himself that he wasn’t a coward.

He lay awake half the night worrying over this dilemma.

He lay awake for half the night worrying about this dilemma.

“But I did n't speak to her first,” he told himself; “I shall only be telling a lie, and they 'll make me swear it, too!”

“But I didn't talk to her first,” he told himself; “I’ll just be lying, and they’ll make me swear to it, too!”

He tried to persuade himself that this was against his principles, but at the bottom of his heart he knew that he would not object to telling such a lie if only guaranteed immune from consequences; it appeared to him, indeed, but obvious humanity.

He attempted to convince himself that this went against his principles, but deep down he knew that he wouldn’t mind telling such a lie if he were assured there would be no consequences; to him, it seemed like just basic humanity.

“But why should I suffer?” he thought; “I've done nothing. It's neither reasonable nor just.”

“But why should I have to suffer?” he thought. “I haven't done anything. It doesn't make sense or seem fair.”

He hated the unhappy woman who was causing him these horrors of uncertainty. Whenever he decided one way or other, the policeman's face, with its tyrannical and muddy eyes, rose before him like a nightmare, and forced him to an opposite conviction. He fell asleep at last with the full determination to go and see what happened.

He hated the unhappy woman who was putting him through these awful feelings of uncertainty. Every time he made a decision, the policeman’s face, with its oppressive and muddy eyes, popped into his mind like a nightmare and pushed him to think the opposite. Eventually, he fell asleep with a strong resolve to find out what was going on.

He woke with a sense of odd disturbance. “I can do no good by going,” he thought, remembering, aid lying very still; “they 're certain to believe the policeman; I shall only blacken myself for nothing;” and the combat began again within him, but with far less fury. It was not what other people thought, not even the risk of perjury that mattered (all this he made quite clear)—it was Antonia. It was not fair to her to put himself in such a false position; in fact, not decent.

He woke up feeling strangely unsettled. “Going won't do any good,” he thought, remembering how still he lay; “they're definitely going to believe the officer; I’ll just tarnish my own reputation for no reason.” The internal struggle started up again, but with much less intensity this time. It wasn’t what others thought, not even the risk of lying under oath that really mattered (he made that perfectly clear)—it was Antonia. It wasn’t right to her to put himself in such a compromising situation; in fact, it felt downright unfair.

He breakfasted. In the room were some Americans, and the face of one young girl reminded him a little of Antonia. Fainter and fainter grew the incident; it seemed to have its right proportions.

He had breakfast. In the room were some Americans, and the face of one young girl reminded him a bit of Antonia. The memory of the incident faded, and it seemed to have the right proportions.

Two hours later, looking at the clock, he found that it was lunch-time. He had not gone, had not committed perjury; but he wrote to a daily paper, pointing out the danger run by the community from the power which a belief in their infallibility places in the hands of the police—how, since they are the sworn abettors of right and justice, their word is almost necessarily taken to be gospel; how one and all they hang together, from mingled interest and esprit de corps. Was it not, he said, reasonable to suppose that amongst thousands of human beings invested with such opportunities there would be found bullies who would take advantage of them, and rise to distinction in the service upon the helplessness of the unfortunate and the cowardice of people with anything to lose? Those who had in their hands the sacred duties of selecting a practically irresponsible body of men were bound, for the sake of freedom and humanity, to exercise those duties with the utmost care and thoroughness . . . .

Two hours later, checking the clock, he realized it was lunchtime. He hadn’t gone, hadn’t lied under oath; but he wrote to a daily newspaper, highlighting the danger the community faces from the power that comes with the belief in the police's infallibility—how, since they are the sworn defenders of right and justice, their word is almost always taken as truth; how collectively they stick together, motivated by shared interests and team spirit. Was it not reasonable to think that among thousands of people granted such immense power, there would be bullies who would exploit it, advancing their careers at the expense of the vulnerable and the fears of those who have something to lose? Those who are responsible for selecting a virtually unaccountable group of individuals must exercise that responsibility with the utmost care and thoroughness for the sake of freedom and humanity...

However true, none of this helped him to think any better of himself at heart, and he was haunted by the feeling that a stout and honest bit of perjury was worth more than a letter to a daily paper.

However true, none of this helped him think any better of himself deep down, and he was haunted by the feeling that a solid and honest lie was worth more than a letter to a daily newspaper.

He never saw his letter printed, containing, as it did, the germs of an unpalatable truth.

He never saw his letter published, since it contained the seeds of an uncomfortable truth.

In the afternoon he hired a horse, and galloped on Port Meadow. The strain of his indecision over, he felt like a man recovering from an illness, and he carefully abstained from looking at the local papers. There was that within him, however, which resented the worsting of his chivalry.

In the afternoon, he rented a horse and rode along Port Meadow. With the burden of his indecision lifted, he felt like someone coming back from an illness, and he deliberately avoided looking at the local papers. Still, there was something inside him that resented the defeat of his sense of chivalry.





CHAPTER XX

HOLM OAKS

Holm Oaks stood back but little from the road—an old manor-house, not set upon display, but dwelling close to its barns, stables, and walled gardens, like a good mother; long, flat-roofed, red, it had Queen Anne windows, on whose white-framed diamond panes the sunbeams glinted.

Holm Oaks stood only a little distance from the road—an old manor house, not trying to show off, but nestled near its barns, stables, and walled gardens, like a caring mother; long, flat-roofed, red, it had Queen Anne windows, where the sunbeams shimmered on the white-framed diamond panes.

In front of it a fringe of elms, of all trees the tree of most established principle, bordered the stretch of turf between the gravel drive and road; and these elms were the homes of rooks of all birds the most conventional. A huge aspen—impressionable creature—shivered and shook beyond, apologising for appearance among such imperturbable surroundings. It was frequented by a cuckoo, who came once a year to hoot at the rules of life, but seldom made long stay; for boys threw stones at it, exasperated by the absence of its morals.

In front of it, a line of elms, the most traditional of trees, lined the grassy area between the gravel driveway and the road; and these elms were home to rooks, the most conventional of birds. A huge aspen—an easily influenced creature—trembled and shook nearby, as if apologizing for its presence in such calm surroundings. It was visited by a cuckoo, which came once a year to comment on the rules of life, but rarely stuck around; boys threw stones at it, frustrated by its lack of morals.

The village which clustered in the dip had not yet lost its dread of motor-cars. About this group of flat-faced cottages with gabled roofs the scent of hay, manure, and roses clung continually; just now the odour of the limes troubled its servile sturdiness. Beyond the dip, again, a square-towered church kept within grey walls the record of the village flock, births, deaths, and marriages—even the births of bastards, even the deaths of suicides—and seemed to stretch a hand invisible above the heads of common folk to grasp the forgers of the manor-house. Decent and discreet, the two roofs caught the eye to the exclusion of all meaner dwellings, seeming to have joined in a conspiracy to keep them out of sight.

The village nestled in the dip still hadn’t lost its fear of cars. Surrounding this cluster of flat-faced cottages with gabled roofs was the constant scent of hay, manure, and roses; right now, the smell of the limes disrupted its sturdy, humble charm. Beyond the dip, a square-towered church held within its grey walls the records of the village’s people—births, deaths, and marriages—even the births of illegitimate children, even the deaths of those who took their own lives—and it seemed to reach out invisibly above the heads of ordinary folks to grasp the forgers of the manor house. Modest and unobtrusive, the two roofs drew attention away from all the lesser homes, as if they had conspired to keep them hidden.

The July sun had burned his face all the way from Oxford, yet pale was Shelton when he walked up the drive and rang the bell.

The July sun had burned his face all the way from Oxford, yet Shelton was pale when he walked up the driveway and rang the bell.

“Mrs. Dennant at home, Dobson?” he asked of the grave butler, who, old servant that he was, still wore coloured trousers (for it was not yet twelve o'clock, and he regarded coloured trousers up to noon as a sacred distinction between the footmen and himself).

“Mrs. Dennant at home, Dobson?” he asked the serious butler, who, being an old servant, still wore colored pants (since it wasn't noon yet, he saw colored pants before noon as a special distinction between the footmen and himself).

“Mrs. Dennant,” replied this personage, raising his round and hairless face, while on his mouth appeared that apologetic pout which comes of living with good families—“Mrs. Dennant has gone into the village, sir; but Miss Antonia is in the morning-room.”

“Mrs. Dennant,” replied this character, lifting his round and hairless face, while an apologetic pout settled on his lips from living with decent families—“Mrs. Dennant has gone into the village, sir; but Miss Antonia is in the morning room.”

Shelton crossed the panelled, low-roofed hall, through whose far side the lawn was visible, a vision of serenity. He mounted six wide, shallow steps, and stopped. From behind a closed door there came the sound of scales, and he stood, a prey to his emotions, the notes mingling in his ears with the beating of his heart. He softly turned the handle, a fixed smile on his lips.

Shelton crossed the paneled, low-roofed hall, where the lawn was visible on the far side, a picture of calm. He climbed six wide, shallow steps and paused. From behind a closed door, the sound of scales filled the air, and he stood there, overwhelmed by his emotions, the notes blending with the rhythm of his heartbeat. He gently turned the handle, a steady smile on his lips.

Antonia was at the piano; her head was bobbing to the movements of her fingers, and pressing down the pedals were her slim monotonously moving feet. She had been playing tennis, for a racquet and her tam-o'-shanter were flung down, and she was dressed in a blue skirt and creamy blouse, fitting collarless about her throat. Her face was flushed, and wore a little frown; and as her fingers raced along the keys, her neck swayed, and the silk clung and shivered on her arms.

Antonia was at the piano; her head bobbed along with the movements of her fingers, and her slim feet pressed down on the pedals in a steady rhythm. She had just been playing tennis, as her racquet and tam-o'-shanter lay tossed aside, and she was wearing a blue skirt and a creamy blouse that fit loosely around her neck. Her face was flushed and had a slight frown; as her fingers danced across the keys, her neck swayed, and the silk of her blouse clung and shimmered against her arms.

Shelton's eyes fastened on the silent, counting lips, on the fair hair about her forehead, the darker eyebrows slanting down towards the nose, the undimpled cheeks with the faint finger-marks beneath the ice-blue eyes, the softly-pouting and undimpled chin, the whole remote, sweet, suntouched, glacial face.

Shelton's gaze fixed on her silent, moving lips, the light hair framing her forehead, the darker eyebrows angling down toward her nose, the smooth cheeks with faint fingerprints under her icy blue eyes, the softly rounded, smooth chin—her entire distant, sweet, sun-kissed, cool face.

She turned her head, and, springing up, cried:

She turned her head and jumped up, shouting:

“Dick! What fun!” She gave him both her hands, but her smiling face said very plainly, “Oh; don't let us be sentimental!”

“Dick! This is so much fun!” She reached out and took both his hands, but her smiling face clearly said, “Oh; let’s not get all sentimental!”

“Are n't you glad to see me?” muttered Shelton.

“Aren't you happy to see me?” muttered Shelton.

“Glad to see you! You are funny, Dick!—as if you did n't know! Why, you 've shaved your beard! Mother and Sybil have gone into the village to see old Mrs. Hopkins. Shall we go out? Thea and the boys are playing tennis. It's so jolly that you 've come!” She caught up the tam-o'-shanter, and pinned it to her hair. Almost as tall as Shelton, she looked taller, with arms raised and loose sleeves quivering like wings to the movements of her fingers. “We might have a game before lunch; you can have my other racquet.”

“Great to see you! You’re hilarious, Dick!—as if you didn't know! Wow, you’ve shaved your beard! Mom and Sybil have gone to the village to visit old Mrs. Hopkins. Should we head out? Thea and the boys are playing tennis. It’s so awesome that you’re here!” She grabbed the tam-o'-shanter and pinned it in her hair. Almost as tall as Shelton, she looked even taller, with her arms raised and loose sleeves fluttering like wings with the movements of her fingers. “We could squeeze in a game before lunch; you can use my other racquet.”

“I've got no things,” said Shelton blankly.

“I don’t have anything,” said Shelton blankly.

Her calm glance ran over him.

Her steady gaze swept over him.

“You can have some of old Bernard's; he's got any amount. I'll wait for you.” She swung her racquet, looked at Shelton, cried, “Be quick!” and vanished.

“You can take some of old Bernard's; he’s got plenty. I’ll wait for you.” She swung her racket, glanced at Shelton, shouted, “Hurry up!” and disappeared.

Shelton ran up-stairs, and dressed in the undecided way of men assuming other people's clothes. She was in the hall when he descended, humming a tune and prodding at her shoe; her smile showed all her pearly upper teeth. He caught hold of her sleeve and whispered:

Shelton ran upstairs and dressed in the uncertain way of guys wearing someone else's clothes. She was in the hall when he came down, humming a tune and fiddling with her shoe; her smile revealed all her pearly upper teeth. He grabbed her sleeve and whispered:

“Antonia!”

“Antonia!”

The colour rushed into her cheeks; she looked back across her shoulder.

The color rushed into her cheeks; she glanced back over her shoulder.

“Come along, old Dick!” she cried; and, flinging open the glass door, ran into the garden.

“Come on, old Dick!” she shouted, and, swinging open the glass door, dashed into the garden.

Shelton followed.

Shelton kept following.

The tennis-ground was divided by tall netting from a paddock. A holm oak tree shaded one corner, and its thick dark foliage gave an unexpected depth to the green smoothness of the scene. As Shelton and Antonia came up, Bernard Dennant stopped and cordially grasped Shelton's hand. From the far side of the net Thea, in a shortish skirt, tossed back her straight fair hair, and, warding off the sun, came strolling up to them. The umpire, a small boy of twelve, was lying on his stomach, squealing and tickling a collie. Shelton bent and pulled his hair.

The tennis court was separated from a field by tall netting. A holm oak tree shaded one corner, and its thick dark leaves added an unexpected depth to the smooth green scenery. As Shelton and Antonia approached, Bernard Dennant stopped and warmly shook Shelton's hand. On the other side of the net, Thea, wearing a slightly short skirt, tossed back her straight blonde hair and, shielding her eyes from the sun, strolled over to them. The umpire, a small boy about twelve, was lying on his stomach, squealing and playing with a collie. Shelton leaned down and tugged at his hair.

“Hallo, Toddles! you young ruffian!”

“Hey, Toddles! you little troublemaker!”

One and all they stood round Shelton, and there was a frank and pitiless inquiry in their eyes, in the angle of their noses something chaffing and distrustful, as though about him were some subtle poignant scent exciting curiosity and disapproval.

Everyone gathered around Shelton, and there was an open and relentless curiosity in their eyes, along with a hint of skepticism in the set of their noses, as if there was some elusive, sharp scent about him that sparked both interest and disapproval.

When the setts were over, and the girls resting in the double hammock underneath the holm oak, Shelton went with Bernard to the paddock to hunt for the lost balls.

When the games were done and the girls were resting in the double hammock under the holm oak, Shelton went with Bernard to the paddock to search for the lost balls.

“I say, old chap,” said his old school-fellow, smiling dryly, “you're in for a wigging from the Mater.”

“I tell you, buddy,” said his old school friend, smirking, “you’re in for a lecture from Mom.”

“A wigging?” murmured Shelton.

“A wig?” murmured Shelton.

“I don't know much about it, but from something she let drop it seems you've been saying some queer things in your letters to Antonia”; and again he looked at Shelton with his dry smile.

“I don’t know much about it, but from something she mentioned, it seems you’ve been saying some strange things in your letters to Antonia,” and again he looked at Shelton with his dry smile.

“Queer things?” said the latter angrily. “What d' you mean?”

“Queer things?” the latter said angrily. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, don't ask me. The Mater thinks she's in a bad way—unsettled, or what d' you call at. You've been telling her that things are not what they seem. That's bad, you know”; and still smiling he shook his head.

“Oh, don’t ask me. The Mater thinks she's in a tough spot—unsettled, or whatever you want to call it. You've been telling her that things aren’t what they seem. That’s not good, you know”; and still smiling, he shook his head.

Shelton dropped his eyes.

Shelton looked down.

“Well, they are n't!” he said.

“Well, they aren't!” he replied.

“Oh, that's all right! But don't bring your philosophy down here, old chap.”

“Oh, that's fine! But keep your philosophy to yourself down here, buddy.”

“Philosophy!” said Shelton, puzzled.

"Philosophy!" Shelton said, confused.

“Leave us a sacred prejudice or two.”

“Leave us a cherished bias or two.”

“Sacred! Nothing's sacred, except—” But Shelton did not finish his remark. “I don't understand,” he said.

“Sacred! Nothing's sacred, except—” But Shelton didn’t finish his thought. “I don't get it,” he said.

“Ideals, that sort of thing! You've been diving down below the line of 'practical politics,' that's about the size of it, my boy”; and, stooping suddenly, he picked up the last ball. “There is the Mater!” Shelton saw Mrs. Dennant coming down the lawn with her second daughter, Sybil.

“Ideals and all that! You've been going below the level of 'practical politics,' that’s pretty much it, my boy”; and, bending down quickly, he picked up the last ball. “There’s the Mater!” Shelton saw Mrs. Dennant walking down the lawn with her younger daughter, Sybil.

By the time they reached the holm oak the three girls had departed towards the house, walking arm in arm, and Mrs. Dennant was standing there alone, in a grey dress, talking to an undergardener. Her hands, cased in tan gauntlets, held a basket which warded off the bearded gardener from the severe but ample lines of her useful-looking skirt. The collie, erect upon his haunches, looked at their two faces, pricking his ears in his endeavour to appreciate how one of these two bipeds differed from the other.

By the time they reached the holm oak, the three girls had walked off toward the house, linked arm in arm, and Mrs. Dennant was standing there alone in a grey dress, chatting with an undergardener. Her hands, covered in tan gauntlets, held a basket that kept the bearded gardener away from the straight but roomy lines of her practical-looking skirt. The collie, sitting up on his back legs, stared at their faces, perked up his ears, trying to figure out how one of these two people was different from the other.

“Thank you; that 'll do, Bunyan. Ah, Dick! Charmin' to see you here, at last!”

“Thank you; that’s good, Bunyan. Ah, Dick! Great to see you here, finally!”

In his intercourse with Mrs. Dennant, Shelton never failed to mark the typical nature of her personality. It always seemed to him that he had met so many other ladies like her. He felt that her undoubtable quality had a non-individual flavour, as if standing for her class. She thought that standing for herself was not the thing; yet she was full of character. Tall, with nose a trifle beaked, long, sloping chin, and an assured, benevolent mouth, showing, perhaps, too many teeth—though thin, she was not unsubstantial. Her accent in speaking showed her heritage; it was a kind of drawl which disregarded vulgar merits such as tone; leaned on some syllables, and despised the final 'g'—the peculiar accent, in fact, of aristocracy, adding its deliberate joys to life.

In his interactions with Mrs. Dennant, Shelton always noticed the typical nature of her personality. It seemed to him that he had encountered many other women like her. He felt her undeniable quality had a generic quality, as if she represented her social class. She believed that representing herself wasn’t the point; yet she was full of character. Tall, with a slightly hooked nose, a long, sloping chin, and a confident, kind mouth that perhaps showed too many teeth—though she was thin, she was not insubstantial. Her accent revealed her background; it had a kind of drawl that ignored common aspects like tone, emphasized certain syllables, and dismissed the final 'g'—the distinctive accent of aristocracy, adding its deliberate pleasures to life.

Shelton knew that she had many interests; she was never really idle, from the time (7 A.M.) when her maid brought her a little china pot of tea with a single biscuit and her pet dog, Tops, till eleven o'clock at night, when she lighted a wax candle in a silver candlestick, and with this in one hand, and in the other a new novel, or, better still, one of those charming volumes written by great people about the still greater people they have met, she said good-night to her children and her guests. No! What with photography, the presidency of a local league, visiting the rich, superintending all the poor, gardening, reading, keeping all her ideas so tidy that no foreign notions might stray in, she was never idle. The information she collected from these sources was both vast and varied, but she never let it flavour her opinions, which lacked sauce, and were drawn from some sort of dish into which, with all her class, she dipped her fingers.

Shelton knew she had a lot of interests; she was never really idle, from the time (7 A.M.) when her maid brought her a little china pot of tea with a single biscuit and her pet dog, Tops, until eleven o'clock at night when she lit a wax candle in a silver candlestick. With the candle in one hand and in the other a new novel, or even better, one of those delightful books written by great authors about the even greater people they've met, she would say good-night to her children and her guests. No! With photography, running a local league, visiting the wealthy, overseeing all the poor, gardening, reading, and organizing her thoughts so neatly that no outside ideas could sneak in, she was never idle. The information she gathered from these various sources was extensive and diverse, but she never let it influence her opinions, which were bland and drawn from some kind of common pot into which, like everyone in her class, she dipped her fingers.

He liked her. No one could help liking her. She was kind, and of such good quality, with a suggestion about her of thin, excellent, and useful china; and she was scented, too—not with verbena, violets, or those essences which women love, but with nothing, as if she had taken stand against all meretricity. In her intercourse with persons not “quite the thing” (she excepted the vicar from this category, though his father had dealt in haberdashery), her refinement, gently, unobtrusively, and with great practical good sense, seemed continually to murmur, “I am, and you—well, are you, don't you know?” But there was no self-consciousness about this attitude, for she was really not a common woman. She simply could not help it; all her people had done this. Their nurses breathed above them in their cradles something that, inhaled into their systems, ever afterwards prevented them from taking good, clear breaths. And her manner! Ah! her manner—it concealed the inner woman so as to leave doubt of her existence!

He liked her. No one could help but like her. She was kind and had such good qualities, with a hint of delicate, exquisite, and functional china about her; and she had a scent, too—not of verbena, violets, or those fragrances that women love, but rather nothing at all, as if she had chosen to stand against all showiness. In her interactions with people who weren’t “quite right” (she excluded the vicar from this group, even though his father had sold haberdashery), her refinement, gently and unobtrusively, and with great practical common sense, seemed to constantly whisper, “I am, and you—well, are you, don’t you know?” But there was no self-awareness in this attitude, for she was truly not an ordinary woman. She simply couldn’t help it; all her family had been this way. Their caregivers breathed into them as babies something that, once inhaled, forever prevented them from taking good, clear breaths. And her demeanor! Ah! her demeanor—it hid the true woman so well that it left doubt about her existence!

Shelton listened to the kindly briskness with which she dwelt upon the under-gardener.

Shelton listened to the friendly enthusiasm with which she talked about the under-gardener.

“Poor Bunyan! he lost his wife six months ago, and was quite cheerful just at first, but now he 's really too distressin'. I 've done all I can to rouse him; it's so melancholy to see him mopin'. And, my dear Dick, the way he mangles the new rose-trees! I'm afraid he's goin' mad; I shall have to send him away; poor fellow!”

“Poor Bunyan! He lost his wife six months ago and was pretty cheerful at first, but now he's really too upsetting. I've done everything I can to lift his spirits; it’s so sad to see him sulking. And, my dear Dick, the way he ruins the new rose bushes! I’m worried he’s going crazy; I might have to send him away; poor guy!”

It was clear that she sympathised with Bunyan, or, rather, believed him entitled to a modicum of wholesome grief, the loss of wives being a canonised and legal, sorrow. But excesses! O dear, no!

It was obvious that she felt for Bunyan, or, more accurately, thought he had a right to some genuine sadness, as the loss of wives was a recognized and accepted sorrow. But going overboard! Oh dear, no!

“I 've told him I shall raise his wages,” she sighed. “He used to be such a splendid gardener! That reminds me, my dear Dick; I want to have a talk with you. Shall we go in to lunch?”

“I’ve told him I’m going to raise his wages,” she sighed. “He used to be such a fantastic gardener! That reminds me, my dear Dick; I want to have a chat with you. Shall we go in for lunch?”

Consulting the memorandum-book in which she had been noting the case of Mrs. Hopkins, she slightly preceded Shelton to the house.

Consulting the notebook where she had been recording the case of Mrs. Hopkins, she arrived at the house just ahead of Shelton.

It was somewhat late that afternoon when Shelton had his “wigging”; nor did it seem to him, hypnotised by the momentary absence of Antonia, such a very serious affair.

It was a bit late that afternoon when Shelton got his "wigging"; nor did it seem to him, mesmerized by Antonia's brief absence, like a big deal.

“Now, Dick,” the Honourable Mrs. Dennant said, in her decisive drawl, “I don't think it 's right to put ideas into Antonia's head.”

“Now, Dick,” the Honorable Mrs. Dennant said, in her confident drawl, “I don't think it's right to suggest ideas to Antonia.”

“Ideas!” murmured Shelton in confusion.

"Ideas!" Shelton murmured, confused.

“We all know,” continued Mrs. Dennant, “that things are not always what they ought to be.”

“We all know,” continued Mrs. Dennant, “that things aren't always how they should be.”

Shelton looked at her; she was seated at her writing-table, addressing in her large, free writing a dinner invitation to a bishop. There was not the faintest trace of awkwardness about her, yet Shelton could not help a certain sense of shock. If she—she—did not think things were what they ought to be—in a bad way things must be indeed!

Shelton looked at her; she was sitting at her writing desk, using her big, bold handwriting to write a dinner invitation to a bishop. There was not the slightest hint of awkwardness about her, yet Shelton couldn't shake a feeling of shock. If she—she—didn't think things were as they should be—in a really bad way things must be!

“Things!” he muttered.

“Stuff!” he muttered.

Mrs. Dennant looked at him firmly but kindly with the eyes that would remind him of a hare's.

Mrs. Dennant looked at him firmly yet kindly, her eyes reminiscent of a hare's.

“She showed me some of your letters, you know. Well, it 's not a bit of use denyin', my dear Dick, that you've been thinkin' too much lately.”

“She showed me some of your letters, you know. Well, it’s no use denying it, my dear Dick, that you’ve been overthinking things lately.”

Shelton perceived that he had done her an injustice; she handled “things” as she handled under-gardeners—put them away when they showed signs of running to extremes.

Shelton realized that he had treated her unfairly; she dealt with “things” just like she dealt with the under-gardeners—putting them aside whenever they began to go overboard.

“I can't help that, I 'm afraid,” he answered.

“I can't help that, I'm afraid,” he replied.

“My dear boy! you'll never get on that way. Now, I want you to promise me you won't talk to Antonia about those sort of things.”

“My dear boy! You’ll never succeed like that. Now, I want you to promise me you won’t talk to Antonia about those kinds of things.”

Shelton raised his eyebrows.

Shelton arched his eyebrows.

“Oh, you know what I mean!”

“Oh, you know what I'm saying!”

He saw that to press Mrs. Dennant to say what she meant by “things” would really hurt her sense of form; it would be cruel to force her thus below the surface!

He realized that pushing Mrs. Dennant to explain what she meant by “things” would genuinely hurt her sense of decorum; it would be unkind to drag her beneath the surface like that!

He therefore said, “Quite so!”

He said, “Exactly!”

To his extreme surprise, flushing the peculiar and pathetic flush of women past their prime, she drawled out:

To his shock, with the strange and somewhat sad flush of women beyond their prime, she lazily said:

“About the poor—and criminals—and marriages—there was that wedding, don't you know?”

“About the poor—and criminals—and marriages—there was that wedding, you know?”

Shelton bowed his head. Motherhood had been too strong for her; in her maternal flutter she had committed the solecism of touching in so many words on “things.”

Shelton lowered his head. Motherhood had overwhelmed her; in her motherly excitement, she had blundered by mentioning “things” so many times.

“Does n't she really see the fun,” he thought, “in one man dining out of gold and another dining in the gutter; or in two married people living on together in perfect discord 'pour encourages les autres', or in worshipping Jesus Christ and claiming all her rights at the same time; or in despising foreigners because they are foreigners; or in war; or in anything that is funny?” But he did her a certain amount of justice by recognising that this was natural, since her whole life had been passed in trying not to see the fun in all these things.

“Doesn’t she really see the humor,” he thought, “in one guy eating from gold plates while another is in the gutter; or in two married people living together in total disharmony ‘to encourage others’; or in worshiping Jesus Christ and claiming all her rights at the same time; or in looking down on foreigners just because they’re foreigners; or in war; or in anything that’s funny?” But he was somewhat fair to her by acknowledging that this was normal, since her whole life had been spent trying not to see the humor in all these things.

But Antonia stood smiling in the doorway. Brilliant and gay she looked, yet resentful, as if she knew they had been talking of her. She sat down by Shelton's side, and began asking him about the youthful foreigner whom he had spoken of; and her eyes made him doubt whether she, too, saw the fun that lay in one human being patronising others.

But Antonia stood smiling in the doorway. She looked bright and cheerful, yet there was a hint of resentment, as if she knew they had been discussing her. She sat down next to Shelton and started asking him about the young foreigner he had mentioned; her eyes made him wonder if she, too, understood the humor in one person looking down on others.

“But I suppose he's really good,” she said, “I mean, all those things he told you about were only—”

“But I guess he’s really good,” she said, “I mean, all those things he told you about were just—”

“Good!” he answered, fidgeting; “I don't really know what the word means.”

“Good!” he replied, fidgeting; “I don’t really know what that word means.”

Her eyes clouded. “Dick, how can you?” they seemed to say.

Her eyes looked troubled. “Dick, how could you?” they seemed to express.

Shelton stroked her sleeve.

Shelton brushed her sleeve.

“Tell us about Mr. Crocker,” she said, taking no heed of his caress.

“Tell us about Mr. Crocker,” she said, ignoring his touch.

“The lunatic!” he said.

"The crazy person!" he said.

“Lunatic! Why, in your letters he was splendid.”

“Crazy! In your letters, he was amazing.”

“So he is,” said Shelton, half ashamed; “he's not a bit mad, really—that is, I only wish I were half as mad.”

“So he is,” said Shelton, feeling a bit embarrassed; “he's not crazy at all, actually—that is, I only wish I were even half as crazy.”

“Who's that mad?” queried Mrs. Dennant from behind the urn—“Tom Crocker? Ah, yes! I knew his mother; she was a Springer.”

“Who's that crazy?” asked Mrs. Dennant from behind the urn—“Tom Crocker? Oh, right! I knew his mother; she was a Springer.”

“Did he do it in the week?” said Thea, appearing in the window with a kitten.

“Did he do it this week?” Thea asked, appearing in the window with a kitten.

“I don't know,” Shelton was obliged to answer.

“I don’t know,” Shelton had to reply.

Thea shook back her hair.

Thea tossed her hair back.

“I call it awfully slack of you not to have found out,” she said.

“I think it's really lazy of you not to have figured it out,” she said.

Antonia frowned.

Antonia was not pleased.

“You were very sweet to that young foreigner, Dick,” she murmured with a smile at Shelton. “I wish that we could see him.”

“You were really nice to that young foreigner, Dick,” she said with a smile at Shelton. “I wish we could see him.”

But Shelton shook his head.

But Shelton shook his head.

“It seems to me,” he muttered, “that I did about as little for him as I could.”

“It seems to me,” he mumbled, “that I did just about the least for him that I could.”

Again her face grew thoughtful, as though his words had chilled her.

Again, her expression became pensive, as if his words had left her feeling cold.

“I don't see what more you could have done,” she answered.

“I don't see what else you could have done,” she replied.

A desire to get close to her, half fear, half ache, a sense of futility and bafflement, an inner burning, made him feel as though a flame were licking at his heart.

A longing to be near her, mixed with fear and pain, a feeling of helplessness and confusion, an intense inner yearning, made him feel as if a fire was touching his heart.





CHAPTER XXI

ENGLISH

Just as Shelton was starting to walk back to Oxford he met Mr. Dennant coming from a ride. Antonia's father was a spare man of medium height, with yellowish face, grey moustache, ironical eyebrows, and some tiny crow's-feet. In his old, short grey coat, with a little slit up the middle of the back, his drab cord breeches, ancient mahogany leggings, and carefully blacked boats, he had a dry, threadbare quality not without distinction.

Just as Shelton was starting to walk back to Oxford, he ran into Mr. Dennant coming back from a ride. Antonia's father was a lean man of average height, with a yellowish complexion, gray mustache, sarcastic eyebrows, and some tiny crow's-feet. In his old, short gray coat with a small slit up the middle of the back, his dull corduroy breeches, worn mahogany leggings, and neatly polished boots, he had a dry, worn quality that still had some distinction.

“Ah, Shelton!” he said, in his quietly festive voice; “glad to see the pilgrim here, at last. You're not off already?” and, laying his hand on Shelton's arm, he proposed to walk a little way with him across the fields.

“Ah, Shelton!” he said in his softly cheerful voice. “It's great to finally see you, the traveler. You’re not leaving already, are you?” He put his hand on Shelton's arm and suggested they walk a bit together across the fields.

This was the first time they had met since the engagement; and Shelton began to nerve himself to express some sentiment, however bald, about it. He squared his shoulders, cleared his throat, and looked askance at Mr. Dennant. That gentleman was walking stiffly, his cord breeches faintly squeaking. He switched a yellow, jointed cane against his leggings, and after each blow looked at his legs satirically. He himself was rather like that yellow cane-pale, and slim, and jointed, with features arching just a little, like the arching of its handle.

This was the first time they had met since the engagement, and Shelton started to work up the courage to say something, no matter how awkward, about it. He straightened his shoulders, cleared his throat, and glanced at Mr. Dennant. That man walked stiffly, his corduroy pants faintly squeaking. He tapped a yellow, jointed cane against his leggings, and after each tap, he looked at his legs with a hint of sarcasm. He himself was kind of like that yellow cane—pale, slim, and jointed, with features that curved slightly, similar to the curve of its handle.

“They say it'll be a bad year for fruit,” Shelton said at last.

“They say it's going to be a tough year for fruit,” Shelton said finally.

“My dear fellow, you don't know your farmer, I 'm afraid. We ought to hang some farmers—do a world of good. Dear souls! I've got some perfect strawberries.”

“My dear friend, you don't really know your farmer, I’m afraid. We should hang some farmers—it would do a world of good. Dear souls! I’ve got some amazing strawberries.”

“I suppose,” said Shelton, glad to postpone the evil moment, “in a climate like this a man must grumble.”

“I guess,” said Shelton, relieved to put off the unpleasant moment, “in a climate like this, a guy has to complain.”

“Quite so, quite so! Look at us poor slaves of land-owners; if I couldn't abuse the farmers I should be wretched. Did you ever see anything finer than this pasture? And they want me to lower their rents!”

“Absolutely, absolutely! Look at us poor slaves to landowners; if I couldn't take it out on the farmers, I'd be miserable. Have you ever seen anything better than this pasture? And they want me to reduce their rents!”

And Mr. Dennant's glance satirically wavered, rested on Shelton, and whisked back to the ground as though he had seen something that alarmed him. There was a pause.

And Mr. Dennant's glance mockingly flickered, landed on Shelton, and quickly darted back to the ground as if he had seen something that startled him. There was a pause.

“Now for it!” thought the younger man.

"Here we go!" thought the younger man.

Mr. Dennant kept his eyes fixed on his boots.

Mr. Dennant kept staring at his boots.

“If they'd said, now,” he remarked jocosely, “that the frost had nipped the partridges, there 'd have been some sense in it; but what can you expect? They've no consideration, dear souls!”

“If they had said, ‘now,’” he said jokingly, “that the frost has harmed the partridges, there would have been some sense in that; but what can you expect? They have no consideration, dear souls!”

Shelton took a breath, and, with averted eyes, he hurriedly began:

Shelton took a breath and, looking away, quickly started:

“It's awfully hard, sir, to—”

“It’s really hard, sir, to—”

Mr. Dennant switched his cane against his shin.

Mr. Dennant tapped his cane against his shin.

“Yes,” he said, “it 's awfully hard to put up with, but what can a fellow do? One must have farmers. Why, if it was n't for the farmers, there 'd be still a hare or two about the place!”

“Yeah,” he said, “it's really tough to deal with, but what can a guy do? We need farmers. Seriously, if it weren't for the farmers, there'd still be a hare or two hanging around!”

Shelton laughed spasmodically; again he glanced askance at his future father-in-law. What did the waggling of his head mean, the deepening of his crow's-feet, the odd contraction of the mouth? And his eye caught Mr. Dennant's eye; its expression was queer above the fine, dry nose (one of the sort that reddens in a wind).

Shelton laughed in short bursts; he looked sideways at his future father-in-law again. What did the shaking of his head mean, the deepening lines around his eyes, the strange tightening of his mouth? Then his gaze met Mr. Dennant's; the look in his eyes was strange above the sharp, dry nose (the kind that gets red in the wind).

“I've never had much to do with farmers,” he said at last.

“I've never really interacted with farmers,” he said finally.

“Have n't you? Lucky fellow! The most—yes, quite the most trying portion of the human species—next to daughters.”

“Have you? Lucky guy! The most—yes, definitely the most challenging part of humanity—after daughters.”

“Well, sir, you can hardly expect me—” began Shelton.

“Well, sir, you can’t really expect me—” began Shelton.

“I don't—oh, I don't! D 'you know, I really believe we're in for a ducking.”

“I don't—oh, I don't! You know, I really believe we're in for a soaking.”

A large black cloud had covered up the sun, and some drops were spattering on Mr. Dennant's hard felt hat.

A big black cloud had blocked out the sun, and a few drops were splattering on Mr. Dennant's stiff felt hat.

Shelton welcomed the shower; it appeared to him an intervention on the part of Providence. He would have to say something, but not now, later.

Shelton welcomed the shower; he saw it as a sign from Providence. He knew he needed to say something, but not right now, later.

“I 'll go on,” he said; “I don't mind the rain. But you'd better get back, sir.”

“I'll keep going,” he said; “I don't mind the rain. But you should head back, sir.”

“Dear me! I've a tenant in this cottage,” said Mr. Dennant in his, leisurely, dry manner “and a beggar he is to poach, too. Least we can do 's to ask for a little shelter; what do you think?” and smiling sarcastically, as though deprecating his intention to keep dry, he rapped on the door of a prosperous-looking cottage.

“Wow! I’ve got a tenant in this cottage,” said Mr. Dennant in his relaxed, dry way, “and he’s a beggar who poaches, too. The least we can do is ask for a little shelter; what do you think?” and smiling sarcastically, as if downplaying his intention to stay dry, he knocked on the door of a well-off-looking cottage.

It was opened by a girl of Antonia's age and height.

It was opened by a girl who was the same age and height as Antonia.

“Ah, Phoebe! Your father in?”

“Hey, Phoebe! Is your dad in?”

“No,” replied the girl, fluttering; “father's out, Mr. Dennant.”

“No,” replied the girl, flustered, “Dad’s out, Mr. Dennant.”

“So sorry! Will you let us bide a bit out of the rain?”

“Sorry! Can we wait here for a bit to stay out of the rain?”

The sweet-looking Phoebe dusted them two chairs, and, curtseying, left them in the parlour.

The sweet-looking Phoebe dusted the two chairs and, curtsying, left them in the parlor.

“What a pretty girl!” said Shelton.

“What a pretty girl!” said Shelton.

“Yes, she's a pretty girl; half the young fellows are after her, but she won't leave her father. Oh, he 's a charming rascal is that fellow!”

“Yes, she's a pretty girl; half the guys are after her, but she won't leave her dad. Oh, he's a charming rascal, that guy!”

This remark suddenly brought home to Shelton the conviction that he was further than ever from avoiding the necessity for speaking. He walked over to the window. The rain was coming down with fury, though a golden line far down the sky promised the shower's quick end. “For goodness' sake,” he thought, “let me say something, however idiotic, and get it over!” But he did not turn; a kind of paralysis had seized on him.

This comment suddenly made Shelton realize that he was farther than ever from avoiding the need to speak. He walked over to the window. The rain was pouring down heavily, though a golden line far in the sky suggested that the downpour would soon be over. “For goodness' sake,” he thought, “let me say something, no matter how silly, and just get it over with!” But he didn’t turn; he felt a sort of paralysis take hold of him.

“Tremendous heavy rain!” he said at last; “coming down in waterspouts.”

“Tons of heavy rain!” he said finally; “coming down in torrents.”

It would have been just as easy to say: “I believe your daughter to be the sweetest thing on earth; I love her, and I 'm going to make her happy!” Just as easy, just about the same amount of breath required; but he couldn't say it! He watched the rain stream and hiss against the leaves and churn the dust on the parched road with its insistent torrent; and he noticed with precision all the details of the process going on outside how the raindrops darted at the leaves like spears, and how the leaves shook themselves free a hundred times a minute, while little runnels of water, ice-clear, rolled over their edges, soft and quick. He noticed, too, the mournful head of a sheltering cow that was chewing at the hedge.

It would have been just as easy to say: “I think your daughter is the sweetest person on earth; I love her, and I’m going to make her happy!” Just as easy, about the same amount of breath needed; but he couldn’t say it! He watched the rain stream and hiss against the leaves and whip up the dust on the dry road with its relentless downpour; and he noticed all the details of what was happening outside, how the raindrops shot at the leaves like arrows, and how the leaves shook themselves free a hundred times a minute, while little streams of crystal-clear water rolled over their edges, soft and quick. He also noticed the sad head of a sheltering cow that was munching on the hedge.

Mr. Dennant had not replied to his remark about the rain. So disconcerting was this silence that Shelton turned. His future father-in-law, upon his wooden chair, was staring at his well-blacked boots, bending forward above his parted knees, and prodding at the carpet; a glimpse at his face disturbed Shelton's resolution. It was not forbidding, stern, discouraging—not in the least; it had merely for the moment ceased to look satirical. This was so startling that Shelton lost his chance of speaking. There seemed a heart to Mr. Dennant's gravity; as though for once he were looking grave because he felt so. But glancing up at Shelton, his dry jocosity reappeared at once.

Mr. Dennant didn't respond to his comment about the rain. The silence was so unsettling that Shelton turned to him. His future father-in-law was sitting on a wooden chair, staring at his polished boots, leaning forward over his knees, and poking at the carpet; a quick look at his face made Shelton hesitate. It wasn't intimidating, stern, or discouraging—not at all; it simply didn’t look sarcastic for a moment. This was so surprising that Shelton missed his chance to speak. Mr. Dennant seemed to have a serious side; it was as if, for once, he was serious because he genuinely felt that way. But when he looked up at Shelton, his dry humor returned instantly.

“What a day for ducks!” he said; and again there was unmistakable alarm about the eye. Was it possible that he, too, dreaded something?

“What a day for ducks!” he said; and again there was unmistakable alarm in his eyes. Could it be that he, too, was afraid of something?

“I can't express—” began Shelton hurriedly.

“I can't express—” started Shelton quickly.

“Yes, it's beastly to get wet,” said Mr. Dennant, and he sang—

“Yes, it’s awful to get wet,” said Mr. Dennant, and he sang—

          “For we can wrestle and fight, my boys,
          And jump out anywhere.”
 
          “We can wrestle and fight, guys,  
          And jump out anywhere.”

“You 'll be with us for that dinner-party next week, eh? Capital! There's the Bishop of Blumenthal and old Sir Jack Buckwell; I must get my wife to put you between them—”

“You'll be joining us for the dinner party next week, right? Great! There’s the Bishop of Blumenthal and old Sir Jack Buckwell; I need to make sure my wife puts you between them—”

          “For it's my delight of a starry night—”
 
“For it's my delight of a starry night—”

“The Bishop's a great anti-divorce man, and old Buckwell 's been in the court at least twice—”

“The Bishop strongly opposes divorce, and old Buckwell has been in court at least twice—”

          “In the season of the year!”
 
“In the season of the year!”

“Will you please to take some tea, gentlemen?” said the voice of Phoebe in the doorway.

“Would you like some tea, gentlemen?” Phoebe's voice called from the doorway.

“No, thank you, Phoebe. That girl ought to get married,” went on Mr. Dennant, as Phoebe blushingly withdrew. A flush showed queerly on his sallow cheeks. “A shame to keep her tied like this to her father's apron-strings—selfish fellow, that!” He looked up sharply, as if he had made a dangerous remark.

“No, thanks, Phoebe. That girl really should get married,” Mr. Dennant continued as Phoebe awkwardly stepped back. A flush appeared oddly on his pale cheeks. “It’s selfish to keep her tied down like this to her father’s apron strings—what a selfish guy!” He glanced up quickly, as if he had just said something risky.

          The keeper he was watching us,
          For him we did n't care!
          The guard was watching us,  
          We didn't care about him!

Shelton suddenly felt certain that Antonia's father was just as anxious to say something expressive of his feelings, and as unable as himself. And this was comforting.

Shelton suddenly felt sure that Antonia's father was just as eager to express his feelings and just as unable to do so as he was. And that was comforting.

“You know, sir—” he began.

"You know, sir—" he started.

But Mr. Dennant's eyebrows rose, his crow's-feet twinkled; his personality seemed to shrink together.

But Mr. Dennant's eyebrows raised, his crow's-feet sparkled; his personality seemed to contract.

“By Jove!” he said, “it's stopped! Now's our chance! Come along, my dear fellow; delays are dangerous!” and with his bantering courtesy he held the door for Shelton to pass out. “I think we'll part here,” he said—“I almost think so. Good luck to you!”

“By Jove!” he exclaimed, “it’s stopped! Now’s our chance! Come on, my friend; delays are risky!” With his playful politeness, he held the door for Shelton to go through. “I believe we’ll split up here,” he remarked—“I really think so. Good luck to you!”

He held out his dry, yellow hand. Shelton seized it, wrung it hard, and muttered the word:

He held out his dry, yellow hand. Shelton grabbed it, shook it firmly, and muttered the word:

“Grateful!”

"Thankful!"

Again Mr. Dennant's eyebrows quivered as if they had been tweaked; he had been found out, and he disliked it. The colour in his face had died away; it was calm, wrinkled, dead-looking under the flattened, narrow brim of his black hat; his grey moustache drooped thinly; the crow's-feet hardened round his eyes; his nostrils were distended by the queerest smile.

Again, Mr. Dennant's eyebrows twitched as if someone had pulled them; he had been caught, and he hated it. The color had drained from his face; it looked calm, wrinkled, and lifeless under the flat, narrow brim of his black hat; his gray mustache hung down thinly; the crow's feet around his eyes stiffened; his nostrils flared from an odd smile.

“Gratitude!” he said; “almost a vice, is n't it? Good-night!”

“Thanks!” he said; “it's almost a vice, isn’t it? Goodnight!”

Shelton's face quivered; he raised his hat, and, turning as abruptly as his senior, proceeded on his way. He had been playing in a comedy that could only have been played in England. He could afford to smile now at his past discomfort, having no longer the sense of duty unfulfilled. Everything had been said that was right and proper to be said, in the way that we such things should say. No violence had been done; he could afford to smile—smile at himself, at Mr. Dennant, at to-morrow; smile at the sweet aroma of the earth, the shy, unwilling sweetness that only rain brings forth.

Shelton's face trembled; he took off his hat and, turning as abruptly as his senior, continued on his way. He had been performing in a play that could only have been staged in England. He could now smile at his past discomfort, no longer feeling the weight of duty left unmet. Everything that needed to be said had been said, in the way we believe such things should be said. No harm had been done; he could smile—smile at himself, at Mr. Dennant, at tomorrow; smile at the lovely scent of the earth, the subtle, reluctant sweetness that only rain brings.





CHAPTER XXII

THE COUNTRY HOUSE

The luncheon hour at Holm Oaks, was, as in many well-bred country houses—out of the shooting season, be it understood—the soulful hour. The ferment of the daily doings was then at its full height, and the clamour of its conversation on the weather, and the dogs, the horses, neighbours, cricket, golf, was mingled with a literary murmur; for the Dennants were superior, and it was quite usual to hear remarks like these “Have you read that charmin' thing of Poser's?” or, “Yes, I've got the new edition of old Bablington: delightfully bound—so light.” And it was in July that Holm Oaks, as a gathering-place of the elect, was at its best. For in July it had become customary to welcome there many of those poor souls from London who arrived exhausted by the season, and than whom no seamstress in a two-pair back could better have earned a holiday. The Dennants themselves never went to London for the season. It was their good pleasure not to. A week or fortnight of it satisfied them. They had a radical weakness for fresh air, and Antonia, even after her presentation two seasons back, had insisted on returning home, stigmatising London balls as “stuffy things.”

The lunch hour at Holm Oaks was, like in many upscale country houses—out of the shooting season, just so you know—the most lively time of day. The buzz of the day's activities was at its peak, and the noise of conversations about the weather, dogs, horses, neighbors, cricket, and golf blended with a literary undertone; the Dennants were quite refined, and it was common to hear comments like, “Have you read that charming piece by Poser?” or, “Yes, I have the new edition of old Bablington: beautifully bound—so light.” July was when Holm Oaks, as a gathering spot for the elite, really shone. In July, it became the norm to welcome those weary souls from London who arrived worn out from the season, and no seamstress in a small back room could have better earned a break. The Dennants themselves never went to London for the season. They preferred not to. A week or two of it was enough for them. They had a strong liking for fresh air, and Antonia, even after her debut two seasons earlier, had insisted on coming back home, criticizing London balls as “stuffy events.”

When Shelton arrived the stream had only just begun, but every day brought fresh, or rather jaded, people to occupy the old, dark, sweet-smelling bedrooms. Individually, he liked his fellow-guests, but he found himself observing them. He knew that, if a man judged people singly, almost all were better than himself; only when judged in bulk were they worthy of the sweeping criticisms he felt inclined to pass on them. He knew this just as he knew that the conventions, having been invented to prevent man following his natural desires, were merely the disapproving sums of innumerable individual approvals.

When Shelton arrived, the stream had just started, but every day brought new, or perhaps tired, people to fill the old, dark, sweet-smelling bedrooms. On an individual level, he liked his fellow guests, but he found himself observing them. He realized that when a person evaluates others individually, almost everyone seems better than him; it’s only when judging them as a group that they become deserving of the harsh criticisms he felt inclined to make. He understood this just as well as he understood that conventions, designed to keep people from acting on their natural desires, were simply the disapproving totals of countless individual approvals.

It was in the bulk; then, that he found himself observing. But with his amiability and dread of notoriety he remained to all appearance a well-bred, docile creature, and he kept his judgments to himself.

It was in the crowd that he found himself watching. But with his friendly nature and fear of attention, he seemed like a polite, compliant person, and he kept his opinions to himself.

In the matter of intellect he made a rough division of the guests—those who accepted things without a murmur, those who accepted them with carping jocularity; in the matter of morals he found they all accepted things without the semblance of a kick. To show sign of private moral judgment was to have lost your soul, and, worse, to be a bit of an outsider. He gathered this by intuition rather than from conversation; for conversation naturally tabooed such questions, and was carried on in the loud and cheerful tones peculiar to people of good breeding. Shelton had never been able to acquire this tone, and he could not help feeling that the inability made him more or less an object of suspicion. The atmosphere struck him as it never had before, causing him to feel a doubt of his gentility. Could a man suffer from passion, heart-searchings, or misgivings, and remain a gentleman? It seemed improbable. One of his fellow-guests, a man called Edgbaston, small-eyed and semi-bald, with a dark moustache and a distinguished air of meanness, disconcerted him one day by remarking of an unknown person, “A half-bred lookin' chap; did n't seem to know his mind.” Shelton was harassed by a horrid doubt.

In terms of intellect, he roughly categorized the guests—those who accepted things without complaint, and those who did so with sarcastic humor; regarding morals, he found they all accepted things without any sign of protest. To show any personal moral judgment was to have lost your integrity, and worse, to be seen as a bit of an outsider. He sensed this more through intuition than through conversation, since discussions naturally avoided such topics and were carried on in the loud and cheerful tones typical of well-bred people. Shelton had never been able to adopt this tone, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that his inability made him somewhat suspicious to others. The atmosphere struck him more profoundly than ever before, making him doubt his own gentility. Could a man experience passion, self-reflection, or doubt, and still be considered a gentleman? It seemed unlikely. One of his fellow guests, a guy named Edgbaston—small-eyed and balding, with a dark mustache and a distinguished air of meanness—threw him off one day by commenting on an unknown person, “A half-bred looking guy; didn’t seem to know his mind.” Shelton was troubled by a terrible doubt.

Everything seemed divided into classes, carefully docketed and valued. For instance, a Briton was of more value than a man, and wives than women. Those things or phases of life with which people had no personal acquaintance were regarded with a faint amusement and a certain disapproval. The principles of the upper class, in fact, were strictly followed.

Everything seemed divided into classes, carefully organized and assigned value. For example, a Briton was considered more valuable than a common man, and wives were valued more than other women. Things or aspects of life that people didn't have personal experience with were met with mild amusement and some disapproval. In fact, the principles of the upper class were strictly adhered to.

He was in that hypersenstive and nervous state favourable for recording currents foreign to itself. Things he had never before noticed now had profound effect on him, such as the tone in which men spoke of women—not precisely with hostility, nor exactly with contempt best, perhaps, described as cultured jeering; never, of course, when men spoke of their own wives, mothers, sisters, or immediate friends, but merely when they spoke of any other women. He reflected upon this, and came to the conclusion that, among the upper classes, each man's own property was holy, while other women were created to supply him with gossip, jests, and spice. Another thing that struck him was the way in which the war then going on was made into an affair of class. In their view it was a baddish business, because poor hack Blank and Peter Blank-Blank had lost their lives, and poor Teddy Blank had now one arm instead of two. Humanity in general was omitted, but not the upper classes, nor, incidentally, the country which belonged to them. For there they were, all seated in a row, with eyes fixed on the horizon of their lawns.

He was in that hypersensitive and nervous state that made him open to noticing things he usually overlooked. Details he had never really paid attention to suddenly affected him deeply, like the way men talked about women—not quite with hostility or outright contempt, but maybe best described as cultured mockery; this didn't apply when they talked about their own wives, mothers, sisters, or close friends, but only when discussing other women. He thought about this and concluded that, among the upper classes, a man's own women were off-limits, while other women seemed to exist just to provide him with gossip, jokes, and excitement. Another thing that caught his attention was how the ongoing war was framed as a class issue. They viewed it as a sad situation because poor hack Blank and Peter Blank-Blank had lost their lives, and poor Teddy Blank now had one arm instead of two. Any sense of humanity as a whole was ignored, but not the upper classes, or, importantly, the country that belonged to them. There they were, all sitting in a row, gazing at the horizon of their lawns.

Late one evening, billiards and music being over and the ladies gone, Shelton returned from changing to his smoking-suit, and dropped into one of the great arm-chairs that even in summer made a semicircle round the fendered hearth. Fresh from his good-night parting with Antonia, he sat perhaps ten minutes before he began to take in all the figures in their parti-coloured smoking jackets, cross-legged, with glasses in their hands, and cigars between their teeth.

Late one evening, after billiards and music had wrapped up and the ladies had left, Shelton came back after changing into his smoking suit and sank into one of the large armchairs that, even in summer, formed a semicircle around the fireplace. Fresh from saying goodnight to Antonia, he sat for maybe ten minutes before he started to notice all the guys in their colorful smoking jackets, sitting cross-legged, with glasses in their hands and cigars between their teeth.

The man in the next chair roused him by putting down his tumbler with a tap, and seating himself upon the cushioned fender. Through the mist of smoke, with shoulders hunched, elbows and knees crooked out, cigar protruding, beak-ways, below his nose, and the crimson collar of his smoking jacket buttoned close as plumage on his breast, he looked a little like a gorgeous bird.

The guy in the next chair got his attention by tapping his glass on the table and sitting down on the cushioned edge of the fireplace. Through the haze of smoke, with his shoulders hunched and his elbows and knees sticking out, the cigar jutting out below his nose, and the red collar of his smoking jacket fastening snugly like feathers on his chest, he resembled a flamboyant bird.

“They do you awfully well,” he said.

“They treat you really well,” he said.

A voice from the chair on Shelton's right replied,

A voice from the chair to Shelton's right answered,

“They do you better at Verado's.”

“They treat you better at Verado's.”

“The Veau d'.r 's the best place; they give you Turkish baths for nothing!” drawled a fat man with a tiny mouth.

“The Veau d'.r is the best spot; they give you Turkish baths for free!” drawled a chubby man with a small mouth.

The suavity of this pronouncement enfolded all as with a blessing. And at once, as if by magic, in the old, oak-panelled room, the world fell naturally into its three departments: that where they do you well; that where they do you better; and that where they give you Turkish baths for nothing.

The smoothness of this statement wrapped around everyone like a blessing. And suddenly, as if by magic, in the old oak-paneled room, the world effortlessly divided into three parts: the one where they treat you well; the one where they treat you even better; and the one where they give you free Turkish baths.

“If you want Turkish baths,” said a tall youth with clean red face, who had come into the room, and stood, his mouth a little open, and long feet jutting with sweet helplessness in front of him, “you should go, you know, to Buda Pesth; most awfully rippin' there.”

“If you want Turkish baths,” said a tall guy with a fresh red face, who had walked into the room and stood there with his mouth slightly open and his long feet sticking out in a charmingly awkward way, “you should definitely go to Buda Pesth; it’s really amazing there.”

Shelton saw an indescribable appreciation rise on every face, as though they had been offered truffles or something equally delicious.

Shelton saw an unexplainable appreciation appear on every face, as if they had been offered truffles or something just as tasty.

“Oh no, Poodles,” said the man perched on the fender. “A Johnny I know tells me they 're nothing to Sofia.” His face was transfigured by the subtle gloating of a man enjoying vice by proxy.

“Oh no, Poodles,” said the man sitting on the fender. “A buddy of mine says they’re nothing compared to Sofia.” His face was transformed by the subtle pleasure of someone relishing in someone else’s mischief.

“Ah!” drawled the small-mouthed man, “there 's nothing fit to hold a candle to Baghda-ad.”

“Ah!” said the small-mouthed man, “there's nothing that can compare to Baghda-ad.”

Once again his utterance enfolded all as with a blessing, and once again the world fell into its three departments: that where they do you well; that where they do you better; and—Baghdad.

Once again, his words surrounded everyone like a blessing, and once more, the world divided into three parts: the one where they treat you well; the one where they treat you even better; and—Baghdad.

Shelton thought to himself: “Why don't I know a place that's better than Baghdad?”

Shelton wondered to himself, “Why don’t I know a place that’s better than Baghdad?”

He felt so insignificant. It seemed that he knew none of these delightful spots; that he was of no use to any of his fellow-men; though privately he was convinced that all these speakers were as ignorant as himself, and merely found it warming to recall such things as they had heard, with that peculiar gloating look. Alas! his anecdotes would never earn for him that prize of persons in society, the label of a “good chap” and “sportsman.”

He felt so unimportant. It seemed like he didn’t know any of these lovely places; that he was of no help to any of his fellow humans; though deep down, he was sure that all these speakers were just as clueless as he was, and only enjoyed reminiscing about what they had heard, wearing that strange, smug expression. Unfortunately, his stories would never earn him that coveted label in social circles, the title of a “good guy” and “team player.”

“Have you ever been in Baghdad?” he feebly asked.

“Have you ever been to Baghdad?” he weakly asked.

The fat man did not answer; he had begun an anecdote, and in his broad expanse of face his tiny mouth writhed like a caterpillar. The anecdote was humorous.

The heavyset man didn't respond; he had started telling a story, and his small mouth was moving around on his wide face like a wriggling caterpillar. The story was funny.

With the exception of Antonia, Shelton saw but little of the ladies, for, following the well-known custom of the country house, men and women avoided each other as much as might be. They met at meals, and occasionally joined in tennis and in croquet; otherwise it seemed—almost Orientally—agreed that they were better kept apart.

Aside from Antonia, Shelton hardly saw the women, because, following the usual custom of country houses, men and women tried to avoid each other as much as possible. They met at mealtimes and occasionally played tennis or croquet together; otherwise, it seemed—almost in an Eastern way—agreed that it was better for them to stay apart.

Chancing one day to enter the withdrawing room, while searching for Antonia, he found that he had lighted on a feminine discussion; he would have beaten a retreat, of course, but it seemed too obvious that he was merely looking for his fiancee, so, sitting down, he listened.

Chancing one day to enter the withdrawing room, while searching for Antonia, he found that he had stumbled upon a conversation among women; he would have left, of course, but it was too obvious that he was just looking for his fiancée, so he sat down and listened.

The Honourable Charlotte Penguin, still knitting a silk tie—the sixth since that she had been knitting at Hyeres—sat on the low window-seat close to a hydrangea, the petals of whose round flowers almost kissed her sanguine cheek. Her eyes were fixed with languid aspiration on the lady who was speaking. This was a square woman of medium height, with grey hair brushed from her low forehead, the expression of whose face was brisk and rather cross. She was standing with a book, as if delivering a sermon. Had she been a man she might have been described as a bright young man of business; for, though grey, she never could be old, nor ever lose the power of forming quick decisions. Her features and her eyes were prompt and slightly hard, tinged with faith fanatical in the justice of her judgments, and she had that fussy simpleness of dress which indicates the right to meddle. Not red, not white, neither yellow nor quite blue, her complexion was suffused with a certain mixture of these colours, adapted to the climate; and her smile had a strange sour sweetness, like nothing but the flavour of an apple on the turn.

The Honorable Charlotte Penguin, still knitting a silk tie—the sixth one she had been making in Hyeres—sat on the low window seat next to a hydrangea, the petals of its round flowers almost brushing against her rosy cheek. Her eyes were lazily focused on the woman speaking. This was a medium-height, sturdy woman with grey hair swept back from her low forehead, her expression brisk and somewhat cross. She stood with a book in her hand, as if giving a sermon. If she were a man, she might be described as a sharp young businessman; for, despite her grey hair, she never seemed old or lost her ability to make quick decisions. Her features and eyes were prompt and slightly hard, tinged with a fanatical belief in the righteousness of her judgments, and she had that fussy simplicity in her dress that suggests a right to intrude. Not red, not white, neither yellow nor quite blue, her complexion was a blend of these colors, suited to the climate; and her smile had a strange sour sweetness, reminiscent of the taste of an apple that’s starting to go bad.

“I don't care what they tell you,” she was saying—not offensively, though her voice seemed to imply that she had no time to waste in pleasing—“in all my dealings with them I've found it best to treat them quite like children.”

“I don't care what they say,” she was saying—not in a rude way, but her tone suggested she had no time to waste on being polite—“in all my experiences with them, I've found that it's best to treat them just like kids.”

A lady, behind the Times, smiled; her mouth—indeed, her whole hard, handsome face—was reminiscent of dappled rocking-horses found in the Soho Bazaar. She crossed her feet, and some rich and silk stuff rustled. Her whole personality seemed to creak as, without looking, she answered in harsh tones:

A woman, sitting behind the Times, smiled; her mouth—really, her entire tough, attractive face—reminded one of the patterned rocking-horses you see at the Soho Bazaar. She crossed her legs, and some luxurious fabric rustled. Her whole demeanor seemed to make noise as, without looking, she replied in a gruff voice:

“I find the poor are most delightful persons.”

"I think poor people are some of the most wonderful individuals."

Sybil Dennant, seated on the sofa, with a feathery laugh shot a barking terrier dog at Shelton.

Sybil Dennant, sitting on the sofa, let out a light laugh and tossed a barking terrier dog at Shelton.

“Here's Dick,” she said. “Well, Dick, what's your opinion?”

“Here’s Dick,” she said. “So, Dick, what do you think?”

Shelton looked around him, scared. The elder ladies who had spoken had fixed their eyes on him, and in their gaze he read his utter insignificance.

Shelton looked around, feeling scared. The older ladies who had spoken were staring at him, and in their gaze, he realized how utterly insignificant he was.

“Oh, that young man!” they seemed to say. “Expect a practical remark from him? Now, come!”

“Oh, that young guy!” they seemed to say. “You think he’s going to make a sensible comment? Come on!”

“Opinion,” he stammered, “of the poor? I haven't any.”

“Opinion,” he stammered, “about the poor? I don’t have any.”

The person on her feet, whose name was Mrs. Mattock, directing her peculiar sweet-sour smile at the distinguished lady with the Times, said:

The woman standing up, named Mrs. Mattock, flashed her unique sweet-sour smile at the esteemed lady with the Times and said:

“Perhaps you 've not had experience of them in London, Lady Bonington?”

“Maybe you haven't come across them in London, Lady Bonington?”

Lady Bonington, in answer, rustled.

Lady Bonington, in response, rustled.

“Oh, do tell us about the slums, Mrs. Mattock!” cried Sybil.

“Oh, please tell us about the slums, Mrs. Mattock!” exclaimed Sybil.

“Slumming must be splendid! It's so deadly here—nothing but flannel petticoats.”

“Slumming must be amazing! It's so boring here—just flannel skirts.”

“The poor, my dear,” began Mrs. Mattock, “are not the least bit what you think them—”

“The poor, my dear,” started Mrs. Mattock, “aren’t at all what you think they are—”

“Oh, d' you know, I think they're rather nice!” broke in Aunt Charlotte close to the hydrangea.

“Oh, you know, I think they're pretty nice!” Aunt Charlotte chimed in near the hydrangea.

“You think so?” said Mrs. Mattock sharply. “I find they do nothing but grumble.”

“You think so?” Mrs. Mattock said sharply. “I think they just complain all the time.”

“They don't grumble at me: they are delightful persons”, and Lady Bonington gave Shelton a grim smile.

“They don’t complain about me: they’re lovely people,” and Lady Bonington gave Shelton a wry smile.

He could not help thinking that to grumble in the presence of that rich, despotic personality would require a superhuman courage.

He couldn't help but think that complaining in front of that wealthy, controlling figure would take an extraordinary amount of courage.

“They're the most ungrateful people in the world,” said Mrs. Mattock.

“They're the most ungrateful people in the world,” said Mrs. Mattock.

“Why, then,” thought Shelton, “do you go amongst them?”

“Why, then,” thought Shelton, “are you going among them?”

She continued, “One must do them good, one, must do one's duty, but as to getting thanks—”

She continued, “You have to do good things, you have to do your duty, but as for getting thanks—”

Lady Bonington sardonically said,

Lady Bonington dryly said,

“Poor things! they have a lot to bear.”

“Poor things! They have so much to endure.”

“The little children!” murmured Aunt Charlotte, with a flushing cheek and shining eyes; “it 's rather pathetic.”

“The little kids!” Aunt Charlotte murmured, her cheeks flushing and her eyes shining; “it’s kind of touching.”

“Children indeed!” said Mrs. Mattock. “It puts me out of all patience to see the way that they neglect them. People are so sentimental about the poor.”

“Kids, honestly!” said Mrs. Mattock. “It drives me crazy to see how they ignore them. People are so sentimental about the needy.”

Lady Bonington creaked again. Her splendid shoulders were wedged into her chair; her fine dark hair, gleaming with silver, sprang back upon her brow; a ruby bracelet glowed on the powerful wrist that held the journal; she rocked her copper-slippered foot. She did not appear to be too sentimental.

Lady Bonington creaked again. Her impressive shoulders were stuck in her chair; her beautiful dark hair, shining with silver, fell back onto her forehead; a ruby bracelet sparkled on the strong wrist that held the journal; she rocked her copper-slippered foot. She didn't seem to be too sentimental.

“I know they often have a very easy time,” said Mrs. Mattock, as if some one had injured her severely. And Shelton saw, not without pity, that Fate had scored her kind and squashed-up face with wrinkles, whose tiny furrows were eloquent of good intentions frustrated by the unpractical and discontented poor. “Do what you will, they are never satisfied; they only resent one's help, or else they take the help and never thank you for it!”

“I know they often have it easy,” Mrs. Mattock said, as if someone had hurt her deeply. And Shelton watched, not without sympathy, as he noticed how Fate had etched her kind and worn face with wrinkles, tiny lines that spoke of good intentions thwarted by the impractical and unhappy poor. “No matter what you do, they're never satisfied; they either resent your help or accept it without ever thanking you!”

“Oh!” murmured Aunt Charlotte, “that's rather hard.”

“Oh!” Aunt Charlotte said softly, “that’s pretty tough.”

Shelton had been growing, more uneasy. He said abruptly:

Shelton was becoming increasingly uneasy. He said suddenly:

“I should do the same if I were they.”

"I would do the same if I were in their shoes."

Mrs. Mattock's brown eyes flew at him; Lady Bonington spoke to the Times; her ruby bracelet and a bangle jingled.

Mrs. Mattock's brown eyes shot toward him; Lady Bonington addressed the Times; her ruby bracelet and bangle jingled.

“We ought to put ourselves in their places.”

“We should try to see things from their perspective.”

Shelton could not help a smile; Lady Bonington in the places of the poor!

Shelton couldn't help but smile; Lady Bonington among the poor!

“Oh!” exclaimed Mrs. Mattock, “I put myself entirely in their place. I quite understand their feelings. But ingratitude is a repulsive quality.”

“Oh!” exclaimed Mrs. Mattock, “I completely put myself in their shoes. I totally understand how they feel. But ingratitude is such a disgusting trait.”

“They seem unable to put themselves in your place,” murmured Shelton; and in a fit of courage he took the room in with a sweeping glance.

“They don’t seem to be able to see things from your point of view,” Shelton whispered; and feeling bold, he took in the entire room with a quick look.

Yes, that room was wonderfully consistent, with its air of perfect second-handedness, as if each picture, and each piece of furniture, each book, each lady present, had been made from patterns. They were all widely different, yet all (like works of art seen in some exhibitions) had the look of being after the designs of some original spirit. The whole room was chaste, restrained, derived, practical, and comfortable; neither in virtue nor in work, neither in manner, speech, appearance, nor in theory, could it give itself away.

Yes, that room was remarkably consistent, with its vibe of perfect thriftiness, as if every picture, every piece of furniture, every book, and every woman present had been created from templates. They were all quite different, yet all (like artworks displayed in galleries) had the feel of being inspired by an original artist. The entire room was simple, elegant, refined, practical, and cozy; it didn’t reveal itself in terms of virtue or effort, nor in manner, speech, appearance, or theory.





CHAPTER XXIII

THE STAINED-GLASS MAN

Still looking for Antonia, Shelton went up to the morning-room. Thea Dennant and another girl were seated in the window, talking. From the look they gave him he saw that he had better never have been born; he hastily withdrew. Descending to the hall, he came on Mr. Dennant crossing to his study, with a handful of official-looking papers.

Still searching for Antonia, Shelton headed to the morning room. Thea Dennant and another girl were sitting by the window, chatting. From the look they gave him, he realized he might as well not exist; he quickly retreated. As he made his way back down to the hall, he saw Mr. Dennant walking to his study, holding a handful of official-looking papers.

“Ah, Shelton!” said he, “you look a little lost. Is the shrine invisible?”

“Ah, Shelton!” he said, “you seem a bit confused. Is the shrine not showing up?”

Shelton grinned, said “Yes,” and went on looking. He was not fortunate. In the dining-room sat Mrs. Dennant, making up her list of books.

Shelton smiled, said “Yes,” and continued searching. He wasn’t lucky. In the dining room sat Mrs. Dennant, busy writing her list of books.

“Do give me your opinion, Dick,” she said. “Everybody 's readin' this thing of Katherine Asterick's; I believe it's simply because she's got a title.”

“Please share your thoughts, Dick,” she said. “Everyone's reading this thing by Katherine Asterick; I think it’s just because she has a title.”

“One must read a book for some reason or other,” answered Shelton.

“One has to read a book for one reason or another,” replied Shelton.

“Well,” returned Mrs. Dennant, “I hate doin' things just because other people do them, and I sha'n'. get it.”

“Well,” replied Mrs. Dennant, “I hate doing things just because other people do them, and I won’t even try.”

“Good!”

“Awesome!”

Mrs. Dennant marked the catalogue.

Mrs. Dennant marked the catalog.

“Here 's Linseed's last, of course; though I must say I don't care for him, but I suppose we ought to have it in the house. And there's Quality's 'The Splendid Diatribes'. that 's sure to be good, he's always so refined. But what am I to do about this of Arthur Baal's? They say that he's a charlatan, but everybody reads him, don't you know”; and over the catalogue Shelton caught the gleam of hare-like eyes.

“Here’s Linseed’s latest, of course; though I have to say I’m not a fan of his, but I guess we should keep it in the house. And then there’s Quality’s 'The Splendid Diatribes.' That’s bound to be good; he’s always so polished. But what should I do about this one from Arthur Baal? They say he’s a fraud, but everyone reads him, right?” And over the catalog, Shelton noticed the flash of hare-like eyes.

Decision had vanished from her face, with its arched nose and slightly sloping chin, as though some one had suddenly appealed to her to trust her instincts. It was quite pathetic. Still, there was always the book's circulation to form her judgment by.

Decision had disappeared from her face, with its arched nose and slightly sloping chin, as if someone had suddenly asked her to trust her instincts. It was rather sad. Still, there was always the book's circulation to guide her judgment.

“I think I 'd better mark it,” she said, “don't you? Were you lookin' for Antonia? If you come across Bunyan in the garden, Dick, do say I want to see him; he's gettin' to be a perfect nuisance. I can understand his feelin's, but really he 's carryin' it too far.”

“I think I should probably mark it,” she said, “don’t you? Were you looking for Antonia? If you see Bunyan in the garden, Dick, please tell him I want to see him; he’s becoming a real nuisance. I get how he feels, but honestly, he’s taking it too far.”

Primed with his message to the under-gardener, Shelton went. He took a despairing look into the billiard-room. Antonia was not there. Instead, a tall and fat-cheeked gentleman with a neat moustache, called Mabbey, was practising the spot-stroke. He paused as Shelton entered, and, pouting like a baby, asked in a sleepy voice,

Primed with his message to the assistant gardener, Shelton went. He took a desperate look into the billiard room. Antonia wasn’t there. Instead, a tall, chubby-faced man with a tidy mustache, named Mabbey, was practicing his shot. He paused when Shelton walked in and, pouting like a child, asked in a sleepy voice,

“Play me a hundred up?”

"Can you play me a hundred?"

Shelton shook his head, stammered out his sorrow, and was about to go.

Shelton shook his head, stumbled over his words of sorrow, and was about to leave.

The gentleman called Mabbey, plaintively feeling the places where his moustaches joined his pink and glossy cheeks, asked with an air of some surprise,

The guy named Mabbey, sadly touching the spots where his mustache met his pink and shiny cheeks, asked with a hint of surprise,

“What's your general game, then?”

“What’s your overall strategy, then?”

“I really don't know,” said Shelton.

“I honestly have no idea,” Shelton said.

The gentleman called Mabbey chalked his cue, and, moving his round, knock-kneed legs in their tight trousers, took up his position for the stroke.

The guy named Mabbey chalked his cue and, adjusting his round, knock-kneed legs in their snug trousers, got ready for the shot.

“What price that?” he said, as he regained the perpendicular; and his well-fed eyes followed Shelton with sleepy inquisition. “Curious dark horse, Shelton,” they seemed to say.

“What’s the price of that?” he asked as he stood upright again; and his well-fed eyes followed Shelton with a sleepy curiosity. “Interesting dark horse, Shelton,” they seemed to convey.

Shelton hurried out, and was about to run down the lower lawn, when he was accosted by another person walking in the sunshine—a slight-built man in a turned-down collar, with a thin and fair moustache, and a faint bluish tint on one side of his high forehead, caused by a network of thin veins. His face had something of the youthful, optimistic, stained-glass look peculiar to the refined English type. He walked elastically, yet with trim precision, as if he had a pleasant taste in furniture and churches, and held the Spectator in his hand.

Shelton rushed outside and was about to dash down the lower lawn when he was approached by another person enjoying the sunshine—a slender man in a turned-down collar, with a thin, light-colored mustache and a faint blue hue on one side of his high forehead, caused by a network of thin veins. His face had a youthful, optimistic, stained-glass look typical of the refined English type. He walked with a spring in his step, yet with precise grace, as if he had good taste in furniture and churches, and held a copy of the Spectator in his hand.

“Ah, Shelton!” he said in high-tuned tones, halting his legs in such an easy attitude that it was impossible to interrupt it: “come to take the air?”

“Ah, Shelton!” he said in a high-pitched voice, stopping his legs in such a relaxed position that it was impossible to interrupt it: “here to get some fresh air?”

Shelton's own brown face, nondescript nose, and his amiable but dogged chin contrasted strangely with the clear-cut features of the stained-glass man.

Shelton's own brown face, plain nose, and his friendly but persistent chin looked strangely different from the sharp features of the stained-glass man.

“I hear from Halidome that you're going to stand for Parliament,” the latter said.

“I heard from Halidome that you're planning to run for Parliament,” the latter said.

Shelton, recalling Halidome's autocratic manner of settling other people's business, smiled.

Shelton, remembering Halidome's bossy way of dealing with other people's affairs, smiled.

“Do I look like it?” he asked.

“Do I look like it?” he asked.

The eyebrows quivered on the stained-glass man. It had never occurred to him, perhaps, that to stand for Parliament a man must look like it; he examined Shelton with some curiosity.

The eyebrows twitched on the stained-glass man. It probably never crossed his mind that to run for Parliament, a man had to look the part; he studied Shelton with a bit of curiosity.

“Ah, well,” he said, “now you mention it, perhaps not.” His eyes, so carefully ironical, although they differed from the eyes of Mabbey, also seemed to ask of Shelton what sort of a dark horse he was.

“Ah, well,” he said, “now that you mention it, maybe not.” His eyes, so deliberately ironic, even though they were different from Mabbey's, also seemed to be asking Shelton what kind of dark horse he was.

“You 're still in the Domestic Office, then?” asked Shelton.

“You're still in the Domestic Office, huh?” asked Shelton.

The stained-glass man stooped to sniff a rosebush. “Yes,” he said; “it suits me very well. I get lots of time for my art work.”

The stained-glass man bent down to smell a rosebush. “Yeah,” he said; “it works for me really well. I have plenty of time for my art.”

“That must be very interesting,” said Shelton, whose glance was roving for Antonia; “I never managed to begin a hobby.”

“That sounds really interesting,” said Shelton, looking around for Antonia. “I’ve never been able to start a hobby.”

“Never had a hobby!” said the stained-glass man, brushing back his hair (he was walking with no hat); “why, what the deuce d' you do?”

“Never had a hobby!” said the stained-glass man, pushing his hair back (he was walking without a hat); “so, what on earth do you do?”

Shelton could not answer; the idea had never troubled him.

Shelton couldn’t respond; the thought had never bothered him.

“I really don't know,” he said, embarrassed; “there's always something going on, as far as I can see.”

“I honestly don't know,” he said, feeling embarrassed; “there's always something happening, as far as I can tell.”

The stained-glass man placed his hands within his pockets, and his bright glance swept over his companion.

The stained-glass man put his hands in his pockets, and his bright gaze scanned his companion.

“A fellow must have a hobby to give him an interest in life,” he said.

“A guy needs a hobby to keep life interesting,” he said.

“An interest in life?” repeated Shelton grimly; “life itself is good enough for me.”

“An interest in life?” Shelton repeated grimly. “Life itself is good enough for me.”

“Oh!” replied the stained-glass man, as though he disapproved of regarding life itself as interesting.

“Oh!” replied the stained-glass man, as if he disapproved of viewing life itself as interesting.

“That's all very well, but you want something more than that. Why don't you take up woodcarving?”

“That's nice and all, but you want something more than that. Why don't you try woodcarving?”

“Wood-carving?”

"Woodworking?"

“The moment I get fagged with office papers and that sort of thing I take up my wood-carving; good as a game of hockey.”

“The moment I get tired of office paperwork and that kind of stuff, I pick up my wood-carving; it’s just as good as a game of hockey.”

“I have n't the enthusiasm.”

“I don't have the enthusiasm.”

The eyebrows of the stained-glass man twitched; he twisted his moustache.

The stained-glass man's eyebrows twitched as he twisted his mustache.

“You 'll find not having a hobby does n't pay,” he said; “you 'll get old, then where 'll you be?”

“You'll find that not having a hobby doesn't pay off,” he said; “you'll grow old, and then where will you be?”

It came as a surprise that he should use the words “it does n't pay,” for he had a kind of partially enamelled look, like that modern jewellery which really seems unconscious of its market value.

It was surprising for him to say “it doesn’t pay,” because he had a sort of partially glazed look, similar to that modern jewelry that really seems unaware of its market value.

“You've given up the Bar? Don't you get awfully bored having nothing to do?” pursued the stained-glass man, stopping before an ancient sundial.

"You've given up the Bar? Don’t you get really bored having nothing to do?" asked the stained-glass man, pausing in front of an old sundial.

Shelton felt a delicacy, as a man naturally would, in explaining that being in love was in itself enough to do. To do nothing is unworthy of a man! But he had never felt as yet the want of any occupation. His silence in no way disconcerted his acquaintance.

Shelton felt a sensitivity, as any man naturally would, in explaining that simply being in love was enough on its own. Doing nothing is beneath a man! But he had never yet felt the need for any other activity. His silence didn’t disturb his acquaintance at all.

“That's a nice old article of virtue,” he said, pointing with his chin; and, walking round the sundial, he made its acquaintance from the other side. Its grey profile cast a thin and shortening shadow on the turf; tongues of moss were licking at its sides; the daisies clustered thick around its base; it had acquired a look of growing from the soil. “I should like to get hold of that,” the stained-glass man remarked; “I don't know when I 've seen a better specimen,” and he walked round it once again.

“That's a nice old piece of virtue,” he said, pointing with his chin; and, walking around the sundial, he got to know it from the other side. Its grey profile cast a thin and shortening shadow on the grass; tongues of moss were creeping up its sides; daisies clustered thick around its base; it had taken on the appearance of growing out of the ground. “I’d really like to have that,” the stained-glass man commented; “I don’t think I’ve seen a better example,” and he walked around it one more time.

His eyebrows were still ironically arched, but below them his eyes were almost calculating, and below them, again, his mouth had opened just a little. A person with a keener eye would have said his face looked greedy, and even Shelton was surprised, as though he had read in the Spectator a confession of commercialism.

His eyebrows were still raised in an ironic way, but beneath them, his eyes seemed almost calculating, and below that, his mouth was slightly open. Anyone with a sharper eye would say his face looked greedy, and even Shelton was taken aback, as if he had come across a confession of commercialism in the Spectator.

“You could n't uproot a thing like that,” he said; “it would lose all its charm.”

“You couldn't take something like that away,” he said; “it would lose all its charm.”

His companion turned impatiently, and his countenance looked wonderfully genuine.

His companion turned with impatience, and his expression seemed incredibly real.

“Couldn't I?” he said. “By Jove! I thought so. 1690! The best period.” He ran his forger round the sundial's edge. “Splendid line-clean as the day they made it. You don't seem to care much about that sort of thing”; and once again, as though accustomed to the indifference of Vandals, his face regained its mask.

“Couldn’t I?” he said. “Wow! I thought so. 1690! The best era.” He traced his finger along the edge of the sundial. “It’s a perfect line—just like the day it was made. You don’t seem to care much about that kind of thing”; and once again, as if used to the indifference of those who destroy, his expression returned to its usual mask.

They strolled on towards the kitchen gardens, Shelton still busy searching every patch of shade. He wanted to say “Can't stop,” and hurry off; but there was about the stained-glass man a something that, while stinging Shelton's feelings, made the showing of them quite impossible. “Feelings!” that person seemed to say; “all very well, but you want more than that. Why not take up wood-carving? . . . Feelings! I was born in England, and have been at Cambridge.”

They walked toward the kitchen gardens, Shelton still focused on finding every spot of shade. He wanted to say “I can't stop,” and rush away, but there was something about the stained-glass man that, while irritating Shelton's emotions, made it impossible for him to express them. “Emotions!” that guy seemed to imply; “that’s fine, but you need more than that. Why not start wood-carving? . . . Emotions! I was born in England and went to Cambridge.”

“Are you staying long?” he asked Shelton. “I go on to Halidome's to-morrow; suppose I sha'n'. see you there? Good, chap, old Halidome! Collection of etchings very fine!”

“Are you staying long?” he asked Shelton. “I'm heading to Halidome's tomorrow; I guess I won’t see you there? Good, man, old Halidome! The collection of etchings is really nice!”

“No; I 'm staying on,” said Shelton.

“No; I’m staying on,” said Shelton.

“Ah!” said the stained-glass man, “charming people, the Dennants!”

“Ah!” said the stained-glass man, “what lovely people, the Dennants!”

Shelton, reddening slowly, turned his head away; he picked a gooseberry, and muttered, “Yes.”

Shelton, slowly blushing, turned his head away; he picked a gooseberry and muttered, “Yeah.”

“The eldest girl especially; no nonsense about her. I thought she was a particularly nice girl.”

“The oldest girl, in particular; no nonsense with her. I thought she was a really nice girl.”

Shelton heard this praise of Antonia with an odd sensation; it gave him the reverse of pleasure, as though the words had cast new light upon her. He grunted hastily,

Shelton heard this praise of Antonia with a strange feeling; it gave him the opposite of pleasure, as if the words had revealed something new about her. He grunted quickly,

“I suppose you know that we 're engaged?”

“I guess you know we’re engaged?”

“Really!” said the stained-glass man, and again his bright, clear, iron-committal glance swept over Shelton—“really! I didn't know. Congratulate you!”

“Really!” said the stained-glass man, and again his bright, clear, serious glance swept over Shelton—“really! I didn’t know. Congratulations!”

It was as if he said: “You're a man of taste; I should say she would go well in almost any drawing-room!”

It was like he said, “You have good taste; I’d say she would fit in almost any living room!”

“Thanks,” said Shelton; “there she' is. If you'll excuse me, I want to speak to her.”

“Thanks,” said Shelton; “there she is. If you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to her.”





CHAPTER XXIV

PARADISE

Antonia, in a sunny angle of the old brick wall, amid the pinks and poppies and cornflowers, was humming to herself. Shelton saw the stained-glass man pass out of sight, then, unobserved, he watched her smelling at the flowers, caressing her face with each in turn, casting away spoiled blossoms, and all the time humming that soft tune.

Antonia, in a sunny spot by the old brick wall, surrounded by pinks, poppies, and cornflowers, was humming to herself. Shelton saw the stained-glass man disappear from view, then, unnoticed, he watched her as she smelled the flowers, gently stroking her face with each one, discarding the wilted blossoms, all the while humming that soothing melody.

In two months, or three, all barriers between himself and this inscrutable young Eve would break; she would be a part of him, and he a part of her; he would know all her thoughts, and she all his; together they would be as one, and all would think of them, and talk of them, as one; and this would come about by standing half an hour together in a church, by the passing of a ring, and the signing of their names.

In two or three months, all the walls between him and this mysterious young Eve would come down; she would become a part of him, and he a part of her; he would know all her thoughts, and she would know all his; together they would be one, and everyone would see them and talk about them as a single entity; and this would happen by standing together for half an hour in a church, exchanging a ring, and signing their names.

The sun was burnishing her hair—she wore no hat flushing her cheeks, sweetening and making sensuous her limbs; it had warmed her through and through, so that, like the flowers and bees, the sunlight and the air, she was all motion, light, and colour.

The sun was shining on her hair—she didn’t wear a hat, which made her cheeks flush and her limbs feel vibrant; it had warmed her completely, so that, like the flowers and bees, the sunlight and the air, she was full of movement, light, and color.

She turned and saw Shelton standing there.

She turned and saw Shelton standing there.

“Oh, Dick!” she said: “Lend me your hand-kerchief to put these flowers in, there 's a good boy!”

“Oh, Dick!” she said, “Can you lend me your handkerchief to put these flowers in? That would be great!”

Her candid eyes, blue as the flowers in her hands, were clear and cool as ice, but in her smile was all the warm profusion of that corner; the sweetness had soaked into her, and was welling forth again. The sight of those sun-warmed cheeks, and fingers twining round the flower-stalks, her pearly teeth, and hair all fragrant, stole the reason out of Shelton. He stood before her, weak about the knees.

Her honest eyes, blue like the flowers in her hands, were clear and cool like ice, but her smile radiated the warmth of that place; the sweetness had soaked into her and was spilling out once more. Seeing her sun-kissed cheeks, fingers intertwined with the flower stems, her bright white teeth, and fragrant hair left Shelton speechless. He stood in front of her, feeling weak at the knees.

“Found you at last!” he said.

“Finally found you!” he exclaimed.

Curving back her neck, she cried out, “Catch!” and with a sweep of both her hands flung the flowers into Shelton's arms.

Curving her neck back, she shouted, “Catch!” and with a sweep of both her hands tossed the flowers into Shelton's arms.

Under the rain of flowers, all warm and odorous, he dropped down on his knees, and put them one by one together, smelling at the pinks, to hide the violence of his feelings. Antonia went on picking flowers, and every time her hand was full she dropped them on his hat, his shoulder, or his arms, and went on plucking more; she smiled, and on her lips a little devil danced, that seemed to know what he was suffering. And Shelton felt that she did know.

Under the shower of flowers, all warm and fragrant, he knelt down and gathered them one by one, inhaling the scent of the pinks to mask the intensity of his emotions. Antonia continued to pick flowers, and each time her hands were full, she would drop them on his hat, shoulder, or arms, then go on to gather more; she smiled, and a little devil seemed to dance on her lips, as if aware of his struggle. Shelton sensed that she truly did understand.

“Are you tired?” she asked; “there are heaps more wanted. These are the bedroom-flowers—fourteen lots. I can't think how people can live without flowers, can you?” and close above his head she buried her face in pinks.

“Are you tired?” she asked; “there's a ton more to do. These are the bedroom flowers—fourteen bunches. I can't imagine how people can live without flowers, can you?” and just above his head, she buried her face in pinks.

He kept his eyes on the plucked flowers before him on the grass, and forced himself to answer,

He kept his gaze on the picked flowers in front of him on the grass and pushed himself to respond,

“I think I can hold out.”

“I think I can hang in there.”

“Poor old Dick!” She had stepped back. The sun lit the clear-cut profile of her cheek, and poured its gold over the bosom of her blouse. “Poor old Dick! Awfully hard luck, is n't it?” Burdened with mignonette, she came so close again that now she touched his shoulder, but Shelton did not look; breathless, with wildly beating heart, he went on sorting out the flowers. The seeds of mignonette rained on his neck, and as she let the blossoms fall, their perfume fanned his face. “You need n't sort them out!” she said.

“Poor old Dick!” She stepped back. The sun highlighted the clear outline of her cheek and bathed her blouse in golden light. “Poor old Dick! Just awful luck, isn’t it?” Carrying mignonette, she moved closer again until she touched his shoulder, but Shelton didn’t look; breathless and with his heart racing, he continued sorting the flowers. The seeds of mignonette fell onto his neck, and as she let the blossoms drop, their fragrance brushed against his face. “You don’t need to sort them!” she said.

Was she enticing him? He stole a look; but she was gone again, swaying and sniffing at the flowers.

Was she trying to tempt him? He glanced over; but she had disappeared again, swaying and sniffing the flowers.

“I suppose I'm only hindering you,” he growled; “I 'd better go.”

“I guess I'm just getting in your way,” he said gruffly; “I should probably leave.”

She laughed.

She chuckled.

“I like to see you on your knees, you look so funny!” and as she spoke she flung a clove carnation at him. “Does n't it smell good?”

“I like to see you on your knees, you look so funny!” and as she said this, she threw a clove carnation at him. “Doesn’t it smell nice?”

“Too good Oh, Antonia! why are you doing this?”

“Too good! Oh, Antonia! Why are you doing this?”

“Why am I doing what?”

“Why am I doing this?”

“Don't you know what you are doing?”

“Don’t you realize what you’re doing?”

“Why, picking flowers!” and once more she was back, bending and sniffing at the blossoms.

“Why, picking flowers!” and once again she returned, leaning down to smell the blossoms.

“That's enough.”

"That's enough."

“Oh no,” she called; “it's not not nearly.

“Oh no,” she called; “it's not nearly.”

“Keep on putting them together, if you love me.”

“Keep putting them together if you love me.”

“You know I love you,” answered Shelton, in a smothered voice.

“You know I love you,” Shelton replied, his voice choked with emotion.

Antonia gazed at him across her shoulder; puzzled and inquiring was her face.

Antonia looked back at him over her shoulder, her face showing confusion and curiosity.

“I'm not a bit like you,” she said. “What will you have for your room?”

“I'm nothing like you,” she said. “What will you have for your room?”

“Choose!”

"Pick!"

“Cornflowers and clove pinks. Poppies are too frivolous, and pinks too—”

“Cornflowers and clove pinks. Poppies are too silly, and pinks too—”

“White,” said Shelton.

“White,” Shelton said.

“And mignonette too hard and—”

“And mignonette too tough and—”

“Sweet. Why cornflowers?”

“Nice. Why cornflowers?”

Antonia stood before him with her hands against her sides; her figure was so slim and young, her face uncertain and so grave.

Antonia stood in front of him with her hands by her sides; her figure was so slim and youthful, her expression both uncertain and serious.

“Because they're dark and deep.”

"Because they're dark and deep."

“And why clove pinks?”

"And why clove pinks?"

Antonia did not answer.

Antonia didn't respond.

“And why clove pinks?”

"And why clove pinks?"

“Because,” she said, and, flushing, touched a bee that had settled on her skirt, “because of something in you I don't understand.”

“Because,” she said, and blushing, touched a bee that had landed on her skirt, “because of something in you I don’t get.”

“Ah! And what flowers shall t give YOU?”

“Ah! And what flowers should I give YOU?”

She put her hands behind her.

She placed her hands behind her.

“There are all the other flowers for me.”

“There are all the other flowers for me.”

Shelton snatched from the mass in front of him an Iceland poppy with straight stem and a curved neck, white pinks, and sprigs of hard, sweet mignonette, and held it out to her.

Shelton grabbed an Iceland poppy with a straight stem and a curved neck, some white pinks, and sprigs of tough, sweet mignonette from the crowd in front of him and held it out to her.

“There,” he said, “that's you.” But Antonia did not move.

“There,” he said, “that's you.” But Antonia didn’t move.

“Oh no, it is n't!” and behind her back her fingers slowly crushed the petals of a blood-red poppy. She shook her head, smiling a brilliant smile. The blossoms fell, he flung his arms around her, and kissed her on the lips.

“Oh no, it isn't!” and behind her back her fingers slowly crushed the petals of a blood-red poppy. She shook her head, smiling a bright smile. The blossoms fell, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the lips.

But his hands dropped; not fear exactly, nor exactly shame, had come to him. She had not resisted, but he had kissed the smile away; had kissed a strange, cold, frightened look, into her eyes.

But his hands fell. It wasn't exactly fear or shame that washed over him. She hadn't pushed him away, but he had kissed the smile off her face; had kissed a strange, cold, frightened look into her eyes.

“She did n't mean to tempt me, then,” he thought, in surprise and anger. “What did she mean?” and, like a scolded dog, he kept his troubled watch upon her face.

“She didn't mean to tempt me, then,” he thought, feeling surprised and angry. “What did she mean?” And like a scolded dog, he kept a worried eye on her face.





CHAPTER XXV

THE RIDE

“Where now?” Antonia asked, wheeling her chestnut mare, as they turned up High Street, Oxford City. “I won't go back the same way, Dick!”

“Where to now?” Antonia asked, steering her chestnut mare as they turned up High Street, Oxford City. “I’m not going back the same way, Dick!”

“We could have a gallop on Port Meadow, cross the Upper River twice, and get home that way; but you 'll be tired.”

“We could go for a ride on Port Meadow, cross the Upper River twice, and head home that way; but you’ll be tired.”

Antonia shook her head. Aslant her cheek the brim of a straw hat threw a curve of shade, her ear glowed transparent in the sun.

Antonia shook her head. The brim of a straw hat cast a shadow across her cheek, making her ear shine brightly in the sunlight.

A difference had come in their relations since that kiss; outwardly she was the same good comrade, cool and quick. But as before a change one feels the subtle difference in the temper of the wind, so Shelton was affected by the inner change in her. He had made a blot upon her candour; he had tried to rub it out again, but there was left a mark, and it was ineffaceable. Antonia belonged to the most civilised division of the race most civilised in all the world, whose creed is “Let us love and hate, let us work and marry, but let us never give ourselves away; to give ourselves away is to leave a mark, and that is past forgive ness. Let our lives be like our faces, free from every kind of wrinkle, even those of laughter; in this way alone can we be really civilised.”

A change had come in their relationship since that kiss; on the surface, she was still the same reliable friend, cool and quick. But just like you can feel a subtle shift in the wind’s mood, Shelton could sense the inner change in her. He had made a mark on her honesty; he tried to erase it, but there was a lingering stain, and it was permanent. Antonia belonged to the most sophisticated part of humanity, the most advanced in the world, who believed: “Let us love and hate, let us work and marry, but let us never fully reveal ourselves; to fully reveal ourselves is to leave a mark, and that cannot be forgiven. Let our lives be like our faces, free of any kind of wrinkle, even those from laughter; only then can we truly be civilized.”

He felt that she was ruffled by a vague discomfort. That he should give himself away was natural, perhaps, and only made her wonder, but that he should give her the feeling that she had given herself away was a very different thing.

He sensed that she was unsettled by a vague discomfort. It was understandable for him to reveal his feelings, which only made her curious, but for him to make her feel like she had exposed herself was something entirely different.

“Do you mind if I just ask at the Bishop's Head for letters?” he said, as they passed the old hotel.

“Is it okay if I just stop at the Bishop's Head for some letters?” he said as they walked by the old hotel.

A dirty and thin envelope was brought to him, addressed “Mr. Richard Shelton, Esq.,” in handwriting that was passionately clear, as though the writer had put his soul into securing delivery of the letter. It was dated three days back, and, as they rode away, Shelton read as follows:

A dirty and thin envelope was brought to him, addressed “Mr. Richard Shelton, Esq.,” in handwriting that was intensely clear, as though the writer had poured their soul into getting the letter delivered. It was dated three days earlier, and as they rode away, Shelton read as follows:

IMPERIAL PEACOCK HOTEL, FOLKESTONE. MON CHER MONSIEUR SHELTON,

IMPERIAL PEACOCK HOTEL, FOLKESTONE. MY DEAR MR. SHELTON,

This is already the third time I have taken up pen to write to you, but, having nothing but misfortune to recount, I hesitated, awaiting better days. Indeed, I have been so profoundly discouraged that if I had not thought it my duty to let you know of my fortunes I know not even now if I should have found the necessary spirit. 'Les choses vont de mal en mal'. From what I hear there has never been so bad a season here. Nothing going on. All the same, I am tormented by a mob of little matters which bring me not sufficient to support my life. I know not what to do; one thing is certain, in no case shall I return here another year. The patron of this hotel, my good employer, is one of those innumerable specimens who do not forge or steal because they have no need, and if they had would lack the courage; who observe the marriage laws because they have been brought up to believe in them, and know that breaking them brings risk and loss of reputation; who do not gamble because they dare not; do not drink because it disagrees with them; go to church because their neighbours go, and to procure an appetite for the mid-day meal; commit no murder because, not transgressing in any other fashion, they are not obliged. What is there to respect in persons of this sort? Yet they are highly esteemed, and form three quarters of Society. The rule with these good gentlemen is to shut their eyes, never use their thinking powers, and close the door on all the dogs of life for fear they should get bitten.

This is already the third time I've picked up my pen to write to you, but since I only have bad news to share, I've hesitated, hoping for better days. Honestly, I've felt so discouraged that if I hadn't thought it was my duty to tell you about my situation, I’m not sure I would have found the motivation to do it. Things have only gotten worse. From what I hear, the season here has never been worse. Nothing is happening. Still, I'm troubled by a bunch of little things that don’t bring me enough to get by. I don't know what to do; one thing is for sure, I won’t be coming back here next year. The owner of this hotel, my good boss, is one of those countless people who don’t cheat or steal because they don’t need to, and if they did, they wouldn’t have the guts; who follow the laws of marriage because they were raised to believe in them and know that breaking them could cost them their reputation; who don’t gamble because they’re too afraid; don’t drink because it doesn’t agree with them; go to church because their neighbors do, and to work up an appetite for lunch; don’t commit murder because, avoiding any other faults, they don’t have to. What is there to respect in people like that? Yet they are highly regarded and make up three-quarters of Society. The rule with these gentlemen is to keep their eyes closed, never think for themselves, and shut the door on all the challenges of life for fear they might get hurt.

Shelton paused, conscious of Antonia's eyes fixed on him with the inquiring look that he had come to dread. In that chilly questioning she seemed to say: “I am waiting. I am prepared to be told things—that is, useful things—things that help one to believe without the risk of too much thinking.”

Shelton paused, aware of Antonia's gaze on him with the curious look that he had come to dread. In that chilly inquiry, she seemed to say: “I’m waiting. I’m ready to hear things—that is, useful things—things that make it easier to believe without the burden of overthinking.”

“It's from that young foreigner,” he said; and went on reading to himself.

“It's from that young foreigner,” he said, and continued reading to himself.

I have eyes, and here I am; I have a nose 'pour, flairer le humbug'. I see that amongst the value of things nothing is the equal of “free thought.” Everything else they can take from me, 'on ne pent pas m'oter cela'. I see no future for me here, and certainly should have departed long ago if I had had the money, but, as I have already told you, all that I can do barely suffices to procure me 'de quoi vivre'. 'Je me sens ecceuye'. Do not pay too much attention to my Jeremiads; you know what a pessimist I am. 'Je ne perds pas courage'.

I have eyes, and here I am; I have a nose to sniff out the nonsense. I see that among the value of things, nothing compares to “free thought.” They can take everything else from me, but they can’t take that away. I see no future for myself here, and I definitely should have left long ago if I had the money, but as I’ve already told you, what I can do barely gets me by. I feel really down. Don't pay too much attention to my complaints; you know what a pessimist I am. I’m not losing hope.

Hoping that you are well, and in the cordial pressing of your hand, I subscribe myself,

Hoping you're doing well, and in the warm grip of your hand, I sign off,

Your very devoted

Your super loyal

LOUIS FERRAND.

LOUIS FERRAND.

He rode with the letter open in his hand, frowning at the curious turmoil which Ferrand excited in his heart. It was as though this foreign vagrant twanged within him a neglected string, which gave forth moans of a mutiny.

He rode with the letter open in his hand, frowning at the strange chaos that Ferrand stirred up in his heart. It felt like this foreign drifter had struck a neglected chord within him, causing it to emit cries of rebellion.

“What does he say?” Antonia asked.

“What does he say?” Antonia asked.

Should he show it to her? If he might not, what should he do when they were married?

Should he show it to her? If he decides not to, what should he do when they're married?

“I don't quite know,” he said at last; “it 's not particularly cheering.”

“I’m not really sure,” he finally said; “it’s not exactly uplifting.”

“What is he like, Dick—I mean, to look at? Like a gentleman, or what?”

“What’s he like, Dick—I mean, how does he look? Like a gentleman or something?”

Shelton stifled a desire to laugh.

Shelton suppressed a urge to laugh.

“He looks very well in a frock-coat,” he replied; “his father was a wine merchant.”

“He looks great in a frock coat,” he replied; “his father was a wine merchant.”

Antonia flicked her whip against her skirt.

Antonia snapped her whip against her skirt.

“Of course,” she murmured, “I don't want to hear if there's anything I ought not.”

“Of course,” she whispered, “I don't want to hear anything I shouldn't.”

But instead of soothing Shelton, these words had just the opposite effect. His conception of the ideal wife was not that of one from whom the half of life must be excluded.

But instead of calming Shelton, these words had the exact opposite effect. His idea of the perfect wife was not someone from whom half of life had to be kept away.

“It's only,” he stammered again, “that it's not cheerful.”

“It's just,” he stammered again, “that it's not cheerful.”

“Oh, all right!” she cried, and, touching her horse, flew off in front. “I hate dismal things.”

“Oh, fine!” she exclaimed, and, urging her horse, raced ahead. “I can't stand gloomy stuff.”

Shelton bit his lips. It was not his fault that half the world was dark. He knew her words were loosed against himself, and, as always at a sign of her displeasure, was afraid. He galloped after her on the scorched turf.

Shelton bit his lips. It wasn’t his fault that half the world was dark. He knew her words were directed at him, and, as always at a sign of her displeasure, he felt afraid. He raced after her on the burned grass.

“What is it?” he said. “You 're angry with me!”

“What is it?” he said. “You’re upset with me!”

“Oh no!”

“Oh no!”

“Darling, I can't help it if things are n't cheerful. We have eyes,” he added, quoting from the letter.

“Babe, I can't help it if things aren't cheerful. We have eyes,” he added, quoting from the letter.

Antonia did not look at him; but touched her horse again.

Antonia didn't look at him; she just patted her horse again.

“Well, I don't want to see the gloomy side,” she said, “and I can't see why YOU should. It's wicked to be discontented;” and she galloped off.

"Well, I don't want to focus on the negative," she said, "and I don't understand why YOU should either. It's wrong to be unhappy;" and she raced away.

It was not his fault if there were a thousand different kinds of men, a thousand different points of view, outside the fence of her experience! “What business,” he thought, digging in his dummy spurs, “has our class to patronise? We 're the only people who have n't an idea of what life really means.” Chips of dried turf and dust came flying back, stinging his face. He gained on her, drew almost within reach, then, as though she had been playing with him, was left hopelessly behind.

It wasn't his fault that there were a thousand different types of men, a thousand different perspectives, beyond the limits of her experience! “What right,” he thought, digging into his fake spurs, “does our class have to judge? We're the only ones who don't really understand what life is all about.” Bits of dried grass and dirt flew back, stinging his face. He caught up to her, got almost close enough to reach her, but then, as if she was just toying with him, he was left completely behind.

She stooped under the far hedge, fanning her flushed face with dock-leaves:

She bent down under the far hedge, fanning her flushed face with dock leaves:

“Aha, Dick! I knew you'd never catch me” and she patted the chestnut mare, who turned her blowing muzzle with contemptuous humour towards Shelton's steed, while her flanks heaved rapturously, gradually darkening with sweat.

“Aha, Dick! I knew you’d never catch me,” she said, giving the chestnut mare a pat. The mare, with a look of playful disdain, turned her blowing muzzle towards Shelton's horse, while her sides heaved with excitement, slowly darkening with sweat.

“We'd better take them steadily,” grunted Shelton, getting off and loosening his girths, “if we mean to get home at all.”

“We should take them slow,” grunted Shelton, getting off and loosening his straps, “if we want to make it home at all.”

“Don't be cross, Dick!”

“Don’t be mad, Dick!”

“We oughtn't to have galloped them like this; they 're not in condition. We'd better go home the way we came.”

“We shouldn’t have rushed them like this; they’re not ready. We should head back the way we came.”

Antonia dropped the reins, and straightened her back hair.

Antonia let go of the reins and fixed her hair.

“There 's no fun in that,” she said. “Out and back again; I hate a dog's walk.”

"That’s not fun," she said. "Going out and coming back again; I hate walking a dog."

“Very well,” said Shelton; he would have her longer to himself!

“Alright,” said Shelton; he wanted her for a longer time!

The road led up and up a hill, and from the top a vision of Saxonia lay disclosed in waves of wood and pasture. Their way branched down a gateless glade, and Shelton sidled closer till his knee touched the mare's off-flank.

The road climbed higher up a hill, and from the top, a view of Saxonia opened up in waves of trees and fields. Their path split down an open glade, and Shelton moved closer until his knee brushed against the mare's side.

Antonia's profile conjured up visions. She was youth itself; her eyes so brilliant, and so innocent, her cheeks so glowing, and her brow unruffled; but in her smile and in the setting of her jaw lurked something resolute and mischievous. Shelton put his hand out to the mare's mane.

Antonia's profile created vivid images. She embodied youth; her eyes were so bright and innocent, her cheeks so radiant, and her brow smooth; but in her smile and the way she held her jaw, there was something determined and playful. Shelton reached out to the mare's mane.

“What made you promise to marry me?” he said.

“What made you promise to marry me?” he asked.

She smiled.

She smiled.

“Well, what made you?”

"Well, what prompted you?"

“I?” cried Shelton.

"I?" shouted Shelton.

She slipped her hand over his hand.

She placed her hand over his hand.

“Oh, Dick!” she said.

“Oh, Dick!” she exclaimed.

“I want,” he stammered, “to be everything to you. Do you think I shall?”

“I want,” he stammered, “to be everything to you. Do you think I can?”

“Of course!”

"Absolutely!"

Of course! The words seemed very much or very little.

Of course! The words felt like either a lot or just a little.

She looked down at the river, gleaming below the glade in a curving silver line. “Dick, there are such a lot of splendid things that we might do.”

She looked down at the river, shining below the clearing in a winding silver line. “Dick, there are so many amazing things we could do.”

Did she mean, amongst those splendid things, that they might understand each other; or were they fated to pretend to only, in the old time-honoured way?

Did she mean, among those wonderful things, that they could really understand each other; or were they destined to just pretend, like in the old-fashioned way?

They crossed the river by a ferry, and rode a long time in silence, while the twilight slowly fell behind the aspens. And all the beauty of the evening, with its restless leaves, its grave young moon, and lighted campion flowers, was but a part of her; the scents, the witchery and shadows, the quaint field noises, the yokels' whistling, and the splash of water-fowl, each seemed to him enchanted. The flighting bats, the forms of the dim hayricks, and sweet-brier perfume-she summed them all up in herself. The fingermarks had deepened underneath her eyes, a languor came upon her; it made her the more sweet and youthful. Her shoulders seemed to bear on them the very image of our land—grave and aspiring, eager yet contained—before there came upon that land the grin of greed, the folds of wealth, the simper of content. Fair, unconscious, free!

They crossed the river on a ferry and rode in silence for a long time as the twilight slowly descended behind the aspens. The beauty of the evening, with its restless leaves, its solemn young moon, and shining campion flowers, was all a part of her; the scents, the magic and shadows, the unique sounds of the fields, the villagers' whistling, and the splashes of waterfowl all seemed enchanted to him. The flitting bats, the shapes of the dim haystacks, and the sweet scent of brier—she embraced them all within herself. The dark circles had deepened underneath her eyes, a weariness settled over her, making her even sweeter and more youthful. Her shoulders seemed to carry the very essence of our land—serious and aspiring, eager yet restrained—before that land was overtaken by the grin of greed, the weight of wealth, and the smirk of contentment. Beautiful, unaware, free!

And he was silent, with a beating heart.

And he was quiet, with his heart racing.





CHAPTER XXVI

THE BIRD 'OF PASSAGE

That night, after the ride, when Shelton was about to go to bed, his eyes fell on Ferrand's letter, and with a sleepy sense of duty he began to read it through a second time. In the dark, oak-panelled bedroom, his four-post bed, with back of crimson damask and its dainty sheets, was lighted by the candle glow; the copper pitcher of hot water in the basin, the silver of his brushes, and the line of his well-polished boots all shone, and Shelton's face alone was gloomy, staring at the yellowish paper in his hand.

That night, after the ride, when Shelton was about to go to bed, his eyes landed on Ferrand's letter, and with a sleepy sense of obligation, he began to read it again. In the dark, wood-paneled bedroom, his four-poster bed, with its crimson damask headboard and delicate sheets, was illuminated by the candlelight; the copper pitcher of hot water in the basin, the silver of his brushes, and the line of his well-polished boots all gleamed, while Shelton's face alone looked gloomy, staring at the yellowish paper in his hand.

“The poor chap wants money, of course,” he thought. But why go on for ever helping one who had no claim on him, a hopeless case, incurable—one whom it was his duty to let sink for the good of the community at large? Ferrand's vagabond refinement had beguiled him into charity that should have been bestowed on hospitals, or any charitable work but foreign missions. To give a helping hand, a bit of himself, a nod of fellowship to any fellow-being irrespective of a claim, merely because he happened to be down, was sentimental nonsense! The line must be drawn! But in the muttering of this conclusion he experienced a twinge of honesty. “Humbug! You don't want to part with your money, that's all!”

“The poor guy wants money, of course,” he thought. But why keep helping someone who had no claim on him, a hopeless case, incurable—someone he should let fail for the sake of the community? Ferrand's streetwise charm had tricked him into giving to charity that should have gone to hospitals or any charitable work other than foreign missions. Offering a helping hand, a piece of himself, a nod of support to anyone in need just because they were down on their luck was just sentimental nonsense! There had to be limits! But as he thought this, he felt a pang of honesty. “Nonsense! You just don’t want to give up your money, that’s all!”

So, sitting down in shirt-sleeves at his writing table, he penned the following on paper stamped with the Holm Oaks address and crest:

So, sitting at his writing desk in his shirt sleeves, he wrote the following on paper featuring the Holm Oaks address and crest:

MY DEAR FERRAND,

MY DEAR FERRAND,

I am sorry you are having such a bad spell. You seem to be dead out of luck. I hope by the time you get this things will have changed for the better. I should very much like to see you again and have a talk, but shall be away for some time longer, and doubt even when I get back whether I should be able to run down and look you up. Keep me 'au courant' as to your movements. I enclose a cheque.

I’m really sorry you’re going through such a rough time. It seems like you’re really out of luck. I hope by the time you get this, things will have improved. I’d love to see you again and chat, but I’ll be away for a while longer, and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to drop by and see you when I get back. Keep me updated on what you’re up to. I’m enclosing a check.

Yours sincerely,

Best regards,

RICHARD SHELTON.

RICHARD SHELTON.

Before he had written out the cheque, a moth fluttering round the candle distracted his attention, and by the time he had caught and put it out he had forgotten that the cheque was not enclosed. The letter, removed with his clothes before he was awake, was posted in an empty state.

Before he wrote the check, a moth buzzing around the candle caught his attention, and by the time he had caught it and put it out, he forgot that the check wasn't included. The letter, taken with his clothes before he was awake, was sent off empty.

One morning a week later he was sitting in the smoking-room in the company of the gentleman called Mabbey, who was telling him how many grouse he had deprived of life on August 12 last year, and how many he intended to deprive of life on August 12 this year, when the door was opened, and the butler entered, carrying his head as though it held some fatal secret.

One morning a week later, he was sitting in the smoking room with a guy named Mabbey, who was telling him how many grouse he had killed on August 12 last year and how many he planned to kill on August 12 this year, when the door opened, and the butler walked in, holding his head like it contained some dangerous secret.

“A young man is asking for you, sir,” he said to Shelton, bending down discreetly; “I don't know if you would wish to see him, sir.”

“A young man is asking for you, sir,” he said to Shelton, leaning down discreetly; “I don't know if you’d like to see him, sir.”

“A young man!” repeated Shelton; “what sort of a young man?”

“A young man!” Shelton echoed. “What kind of young man?”

“I should say a sort of foreigner, sir,” apologetically replied the butler. “He's wearing a frock-coat, but he looks as if he had been walking a good deal.”

“I should say a sort of foreigner, sir,” the butler replied apologetically. “He’s wearing a formal coat, but he looks like he has been walking a lot.”

Shelton rose with haste; the description sounded to him ominous.

Shelton quickly stood up; the description felt ominous to him.

“Where is he?”

"Where's he?"

“I put him in the young ladies' little room, sir.”

“I put him in the girls' small room, sir.”

“All right,” said Shelton; “I 'll come and see him. Now, what the deuce!” he thought, running down the stairs.

“All right,” said Shelton; “I’ll come and see him. Now, what the heck!” he thought, running down the stairs.

It was with a queer commingling of pleasure and vexation that he entered the little chamber sacred to the birds, beasts, racquets, golf-clubs, and general young ladies' litter. Ferrand was standing underneath the cage of a canary, his hands folded on his pinched-up hat, a nervous smile upon his lips. He was dressed in Shelton's old frock-coat, tightly buttoned, and would have cut a stylish figure but far his look of travel. He wore a pair of pince-nez, too, which somewhat veiled his cynical blue eyes, and clashed a little with the pagan look of him. In the midst of the strange surroundings he still preserved that air of knowing, and being master of, his fate, which was his chief attraction.

He walked into the small room filled with birds, animals, racquets, golf clubs, and the usual clutter of young ladies with a strange mix of pleasure and annoyance. Ferrand was standing under the canary's cage, hands folded over his worn-out hat, a nervous smile on his face. He was wearing Shelton's old frock coat, tightly buttoned, and would have looked quite stylish if it weren't for his travel-worn appearance. He also had a pair of pince-nez glasses on, which somewhat hid his cynical blue eyes and didn't quite match his carefree vibe. Despite the odd setting, he still carried that air of confidence and control over his fate, which was his main charm.

“I 'm glad to see you,” said Shelton, holding out his hand.

“I'm glad to see you,” said Shelton, reaching out his hand.

“Forgive this liberty,” began Ferrand, “but I thought it due to you after all you've done for me not to throw up my efforts to get employment in England without letting you know first. I'm entirely at the end of my resources.”

“Please pardon my boldness,” Ferrand started, “but I felt it was important to inform you, given everything you've done for me, that I’m exhausted in my efforts to find work in England without letting you know first. I'm completely out of options.”

The phrase struck Shelton as one that he had heard before.

The phrase sounded familiar to Shelton.

“But I wrote to you,” he said; “did n't you get my letter?”

“But I wrote to you,” he said; “didn't you get my letter?”

A flicker passed across the vagrant's face; he drew the letter from his pocket and held it out.

A brief flash crossed the vagrant's face; he pulled the letter from his pocket and handed it over.

“Here it is, monsieur.”

“Here it is, sir.”

Shelton stared at it.

Shelton stared at it.

“Surely,” said he, “I sent a cheque?”

“Surely,” he said, “I sent a check?”

Ferrand did not smile; there was a look about him as though Shelton by forgetting to enclose that cheque had done him a real injury.

Ferrand didn't smile; he had an expression as if Shelton, by forgetting to include that check, had actually wronged him.

Shelton could not quite hide a glance of doubt.

Shelton couldn't completely hide a look of doubt.

“Of course,” he said, “I—I—meant to enclose a cheque.”

“Of course,” he said, “I—I—meant to include a check.”

Too subtle to say anything, Ferrand curled his lip. “I am capable of much, but not of that,” he seemed to say; and at once Shelton felt the meanness of his doubt.

Too subtle to say anything, Ferrand curled his lip. “I can do a lot, but not that,” he seemed to say; and right away, Shelton felt the sting of his doubt.

“Stupid of me,” he said.

“Dumb of me,” he said.

“I had no intention of intruding here,” said Ferrand; “I hoped to see you in the neighbourhood, but I arrive exhausted with fatigue. I've eaten nothing since yesterday at noon, and walked thirty miles.” He shrugged his shoulders. “You see, I had no time to lose before assuring myself whether you were here or not.”

“I didn’t mean to intrude,” said Ferrand. “I was hoping to see you in the area, but I’m completely worn out. I haven’t eaten anything since yesterday at noon and I’ve walked thirty miles.” He shrugged. “As you can see, I didn’t have time to waste before finding out if you were here or not.”

“Of course—” began Shelton, but again he stopped.

"Of course—" Shelton started, but he paused again.

“I should very much like,” the young foreigner went on, “for one of your good legislators to find himself in these country villages with a penny in his pocket. In other countries bakers are obliged to sell you an equivalent of bread for a penny; here they won't sell you as much as a crust under twopence. You don't encourage poverty.”

“I would really like,” the young foreigner continued, “for one of your good lawmakers to be in these rural areas with a penny in his pocket. In other countries, bakers are required to sell you a piece of bread for a penny; here, they won’t sell you even a crust for under two pence. You’re not doing anything to help poverty.”

“What is your idea now?” asked Shelton, trying to gain time.

“What’s your idea now?” asked Shelton, buying himself some time.

“As I told you,” replied Ferrand, “there 's nothing to be done at Folkestone, though I should have stayed there if I had had the money to defray certain expenses”; and again he seemed to reproach his patron with the omission of that cheque. “They say things will certainly be better at the end of the month. Now that I know English well, I thought perhaps I could procure a situation for teaching languages.”

“As I told you,” Ferrand replied, “there's nothing to be done in Folkestone, though I would have stayed there if I had the money to cover certain expenses”; and again he seemed to blame his patron for not sending that check. “They say things will definitely be better by the end of the month. Now that I know English well, I thought I could maybe find a job teaching languages.”

“I see,” said Shelton.

“I get it,” said Shelton.

As a fact, however, he was far from seeing; he literally did not know what to do. It seemed so brutal to give Ferrand money and ask him to clear out; besides, he chanced to have none in his pocket.

As a fact, however, he was far from seeing; he literally did not know what to do. It seemed so harsh to give Ferrand money and ask him to leave; besides, he happened to have none in his pocket.

“It needs philosophy to support what I 've gone through this week,” said Ferrand, shrugging his shoulders. “On Wednesday last, when I received your letter, I had just eighteen-pence, and at once I made a resolution to come and see you; on that sum I 've done the journey. My strength is nearly at an end.”

“It takes some deep thinking to make sense of what I've been through this week,” Ferrand said with a shrug. “Last Wednesday, when I got your letter, I had just eighteen pence, and I immediately decided to come see you; that’s all I had for the trip. I'm nearly out of strength.”

Shelton stroked his chin.

Shelton rubbed his chin.

“Well,” he had just begun, “we must think it over,” when by Ferrand's face he saw that some one had come in. He turned, and saw Antonia in the doorway. “Excuse me,” he stammered, and, going to Antonia, drew her from the room.

“Well,” he had just started, “we need to think this through,” when he noticed Ferrand's expression, realizing someone had entered. He turned and saw Antonia standing in the doorway. “Sorry,” he stammered, and, walking over to Antonia, led her out of the room.

With a smile she said at once: “It's the young foreigner; I'm certain. Oh, what fun!”

With a smile, she said right away, “It’s the young foreigner; I’m sure of it. Oh, this is going to be fun!”

“Yes,” answered Shelton slowly; “he's come to see me about getting some sort of tutorship or other. Do you think your mother would mind if I took him up to have a wash? He's had a longish walk. And might he have some breakfast? He must be hungry.”

“Yes,” Shelton replied slowly; “he’s come to see me about getting some kind of tutoring job or something. Do you think your mom would mind if I took him up to wash up? He’s had a pretty long walk. And could he have some breakfast? He must be starving.”

“Of course! I'll tell Dobson. Shall I speak to mother? He looks nice, Dick.”

“Of course! I'll tell Dobson. Should I talk to mom? He looks nice, Dick.”

He gave her a grateful, furtive look, and went back to his guest; an impulse had made him hide from her the true condition of affairs.

He gave her a thankful, discreet glance and returned to his guest; an impulse had made him conceal the real situation from her.

Ferrand was standing where he had been left his face still clothed in mordant impassivity.

Ferrand was standing where they had left him, his face still showing a sharp, emotionless expression.

“Come up to my room!” said Shelton; and while his guest was washing, brushing, and otherwise embellishing his person, he stood reflecting that Ferrand was by no means unpresentable, and he felt quite grateful to him.

“Come up to my room!” said Shelton; and while his guest was washing, brushing, and otherwise getting ready, he stood thinking that Ferrand was definitely presentable, and he felt pretty grateful to him.

He took an opportunity, when the young man's back was turned, of examining his counterfoils. There was no record, naturally, of a cheque drawn in Ferrand's favour. Shelton felt more mean than ever.

He seized an opportunity, when the young man wasn’t looking, to check his counterfoils. There was obviously no record of a check made out to Ferrand. Shelton felt even more petty than before.

A message came from Mrs. Dennant; so he took the traveller to the dining-room and left him there, while he himself went to the lady of the house. He met Antonia coming down.

A message arrived from Mrs. Dennant, so he brought the traveler to the dining room and left him there while he went to see the lady of the house. He encountered Antonia on his way down.

“How many days did you say he went without food that time—you know?” she asked in passing.

“How many days did you say he went without food that time—you know?” she asked casually.

“Four.”

"4."

“He does n't look a bit common, Dick.”

"He doesn't look ordinary at all, Dick."

Shelton gazed at her dubiously.

Shelton looked at her skeptically.

“They're surely not going to make a show of him!” he thought.

“They're definitely not going to make a spectacle out of him!” he thought.

Mrs. Dennant was writing, in a dark-blue dress starred over with white spots, whose fine lawn collar was threaded with black velvet.

Mrs. Dennant was writing, in a dark-blue dress covered in white spots, with a fine lawn collar trimmed in black velvet.

“Have you seen the new hybrid Algy's brought me back from Kidstone? Is n't it charmin'.” and she bent her face towards this perfect rose. “They say unique; I'm awfully interested to find out if that's true. I've told Algy I really must have some.”

“Have you seen the new hybrid Algy brought me back from Kidstone? Isn’t it charming?” She leaned her face closer to this perfect rose. “They say it’s unique; I’m really curious to see if that’s true. I told Algy I absolutely have to have some.”

Shelton thought of the unique hybrid breakfasting downstairs; he wished that Mrs. Dennant would show in him the interest she had manifested in the rose. But this was absurd of him, he knew, for the potent law of hobbies controlled the upper classes, forcing them to take more interest in birds, and roses, missionaries, or limited and highly-bound editions of old books (things, in a word, in treating which you knew exactly where you were) than in the manifestations of mere life that came before their eyes.

Shelton thought about the unique blend of breakfast happening downstairs; he wished that Mrs. Dennant would show him the same interest she had shown in the rose. But he knew this was ridiculous of him, since the powerful influence of hobbies shaped the upper classes, making them care more about birds, roses, missionaries, or rare, limited edition old books (things, in short, where you knew exactly where you stood) than about the real-life situations that unfolded right in front of them.

“Oh, Dick, about that young Frenchman. Antonia says he wants a tutorship; now, can you really recommend him? There's Mrs. Robinson at the Gateways wants someone to teach her boys languages; and, if he were quite satisfactory, it's really time Toddles had a few lessons in French; he goes to Eton next half.”

“Oh, Dick, about that young Frenchman. Antonia says he wants a tutoring position; can you really recommend him? Mrs. Robinson at the Gateways is looking for someone to teach her boys languages; if he’s good enough, it’s really time Toddles had a few French lessons since he’s going to Eton next term.”

Shelton stared at the rose; he had suddenly realised why it was that people take more interest in roses than in human beings—one could do it with a quiet heart.

Shelton stared at the rose; he had suddenly realized why people care more about roses than about other people—because one could do it with a calm heart.

“He's not a Frenchman, you know,” he said to gain a little time.

"He's not French, you know," he said to buy himself some time.

“He's not a German, I hope,” Mrs. Dennant answered, passing her forgers round a petal, to impress its fashion on her brain; “I don't like Germans. Is n't he the one you wrote about—come down in the world? Such a pity with so young a fellow! His father was a merchant, I think you told us. Antonia says he 's quite refined to look at.”

"He's not German, is he?" Mrs. Dennant replied, passing her fingers over a petal to imprint its shape in her mind. "I don't like Germans. Isn't he the one you wrote about—fallen on hard times? It's a shame for someone so young! His father was a merchant, if I remember correctly. Antonia says he looks quite refined."

“Oh, yes,” said Shelton, feeling on safe ground; “he's refined enough to look at.”

“Oh, definitely,” said Shelton, feeling secure; “he's polished enough to be attractive.”

Mrs. Dennant took the rose and put it to her nose.

Mrs. Dennant picked up the rose and brought it to her nose.

“Delicious perfume! That was a very touchin' story about his goin' without food in Paris. Old Mrs. Hopkins has a room to let; I should like to do her a good turn. I'm afraid there's a hole in the ceilin', though. Or there's the room here in the left wing on the ground-floor where John the footman used to sleep. It's quite nice; perhaps he could have that.”

“Lovely scent! That was such a moving story about him going hungry in Paris. Old Mrs. Hopkins has a room to rent; I'd like to help her out. I'm worried there's a hole in the ceiling, though. Or there's the room here in the left wing on the ground floor where John the footman used to stay. It's pretty nice; maybe he could take that one.”

“You 're awfully kind,” said Shelton, “but—”

"You're really nice," Shelton said, "but—"

“I should like to do something to restore his self-respect,”, went on Mrs. Dennant, “if, as you say, he 's clever and all that. Seein' a little refined life again might make a world of difference to him. It's so sad when a young man loses self-respect.”

“I want to do something to help him regain his self-respect,” Mrs. Dennant continued. “If he’s as smart as you say, experiencing some refined living again could really change things for him. It's so sad when a young man loses his self-respect.”

Shelton was much struck by the practical way in which she looked at things. Restore his self-respect! It seemed quite a splendid notion! He smiled, and said,

Shelton was really impressed by the practical way she viewed things. Restoring his self-respect! That sounded like an amazing idea! He smiled and said,

“You're too kind. I think—”

"You're so kind. I think—"

“I don't believe in doin' things by halves,” said Mrs. Dennant; “he does n't drink, I suppose?”

“I don't believe in doing things halfway,” said Mrs. Dennant; “he doesn’t drink, I assume?”

“Oh, no,” said Shelton. “He's rather a tobacco maniac, of course.”

“Oh, no,” said Shelton. “He's definitely a tobacco addict, for sure.”

“Well, that's a mercy! You would n't believe the trouble I 've had with drink, especially over cooks and coachmen. And now Bunyan's taken to it.”

“Well, that's a relief! You wouldn't believe the trouble I've had with alcohol, especially over cooks and drivers. And now Bunyan's gotten into it.”

“Oh, you'd have no trouble with Ferrand,” returned Shelton; “you couldn't tell him from a gentleman as far as manners go.”

“Oh, you wouldn't have any trouble with Ferrand,” Shelton replied; “you wouldn't be able to tell him apart from a gentleman when it comes to manners.”

Mrs. Dennant smiled one of her rather sweet and kindly smiles.

Mrs. Dennant smiled one of her sweet and kind smiles.

“My dear Dick,” she said, “there's not much comfort in that. Look at poor Bobby Surcingle, look at Oliver Semples and Victor Medallion; you could n't have better families. But if you 're sure he does n't drink! Algy 'll laugh, of course; that does n't matter—he laughs at everything.”

“My dear Dick,” she said, “there's not much comfort in that. Look at poor Bobby Surcingle, look at Oliver Semples and Victor Medallion; you couldn't ask for better families. But if you're sure he doesn't drink! Algy will laugh, of course; that doesn't matter—he laughs at everything.”

Shelton felt guilty; being quite unprepared for so rapid an adoption of his client.

Shelton felt guilty; he was totally unprepared for such a quick acceptance of his client.

“I really believe there's a lot of good in him,” he stammered; “but, of course, I know very little, and from what he tells me he's had a very curious life. I shouldn't like—”

“I really believe there's a lot of good in him,” he stammered; “but, of course, I know very little, and from what he tells me, he's had a very strange life. I shouldn't like—”

“Where was he educated?” inquired Mrs. Dennant. “They have no public schools in France, so I 've been told; but, of course, he can't help that, poor young fellow! Oh, and, Dick, there 's one thing—has he relations? One has always to be so careful about that. It 's one thing to help a young fellow, but quite another to help his family too. One sees so many cases of that where men marry girls without money, don't you know.”

“Where did he go to school?” asked Mrs. Dennant. “I’ve heard they don’t have public schools in France, but, of course, that’s not his fault, poor guy! Oh, and, Dick, there’s something else—does he have family? You always have to be careful about that. It’s one thing to help a young man out, but quite another to support his family as well. You see so many cases where men marry girls who don’t have money, you know.”

“He has told me,” answered Shelton, “his only relations are some cousins, and they are rich.”

“He told me,” Shelton replied, “his only family is a few cousins, and they're wealthy.”

Mrs. Dennant took out her handkerchief, and, bending above the rose, removed a tiny insect.

Mrs. Dennant pulled out her handkerchief and, leaning over the rose, took off a tiny bug.

“These green-fly get in everywhere,” she said.

“These green flies get everywhere,” she said.

“Very sad story; can't they do anything for him?” and she made researches in the rose's heart.

“Such a sad story; can’t they do anything to help him?” and she searched deep in the heart of the rose.

“He's quarrelled with them, I believe,” said Shelton; “I have n't liked to press him, about that.”

“He's had a fight with them, I think,” said Shelton; “I haven't wanted to push him about it.”

“No, of course not,” assented Mrs. Dennant absently—she had found another green-fly “I always think it's painful when a young man seems so friendless.”

“No, of course not,” Mrs. Dennant agreed absently—she had found another green fly. “I always think it’s sad when a young man seems so alone.”

Shelton was silent; he was thinking deeply. He had never before felt so distrustful of the youthful foreigner.

Shelton was quiet; he was deep in thought. He had never felt so suspicious of the young foreigner before.

“I think,” he said at last, “the best thing would be for you to see him for yourself.”

“I think,” he finally said, “the best thing would be for you to see him for yourself.”

“Very well,” said Mrs. Dennant. “I should be so glad if you would tell him to come up. I must say I do think that was a most touchin' story about Paris. I wonder whether this light's strong enough now for me to photograph this rose.”

“Sure thing,” said Mrs. Dennant. “I’d really appreciate it if you could ask him to come up. I have to say I think that was a really touching story about Paris. I wonder if this light is strong enough for me to take a picture of this rose.”

Shelton withdrew and went down-stairs. Ferrand was still at breakfast. Antonia stood at the sideboard carving beef for him, and in the window sat Thea with her Persian kitten.

Shelton left and went downstairs. Ferrand was still having breakfast. Antonia was at the sideboard slicing beef for him, and Thea was sitting in the window with her Persian kitten.

Both girls were following the traveller's movements with inscrutable blue eyes. A shiver ran down Shelton's spine. To speak truth, he cursed the young man's coming, as though it affected his relations with Antonia.

Both girls were tracking the traveler’s movements with unreadable blue eyes. A shiver ran down Shelton's spine. To be honest, he cursed the arrival of the young man, as if it had an impact on his relationship with Antonia.





CHAPTER XXVII

SUB ROSA

From the interview, which Shelton had the mixed delight of watching, between Ferrand and the Honourable Mrs. Dennant, certain definite results accrued, the chief of which was the permission accorded the young wanderer to occupy the room which had formerly been tenanted by the footman John. Shelton was lost in admiration of Ferrand's manner in this scene.. Its subtle combination of deference and dignity was almost paralysing; paralysing, too, the subterranean smile upon his lips.

From the interview that Shelton had the mixed pleasure of watching between Ferrand and the Honourable Mrs. Dennant, some clear outcomes came about, the main one being that the young wanderer was granted permission to use the room that had previously been occupied by the footman John. Shelton was completely impressed by Ferrand's demeanor during this encounter. Its subtle mix of respect and poise was almost overwhelming; it also subdued the hidden smile on his lips.

“Charmin' young man, Dick,” said Mrs. Dennant, when Shelton lingered to say once more that he knew but very little of him; “I shall send a note round to Mrs. Robinson at once. They're rather common, you know—the Robinsons. I think they'll take anyone I recommend.”

“Charming young man, Dick,” said Mrs. Dennant, when Shelton stayed to mention again that he didn’t know much about him; “I’ll send a note to Mrs. Robinson right away. They’re a bit common, you know—the Robinsons. I think they’ll accept anyone I recommend.”

“I 'm sure they will,” said Shelton; “that's why I think you ought to know—”

“I’m sure they will,” said Shelton; “that’s why I think you should know—”

But Mrs. Dennant's eyes, fervent, hare-like, were fixed on something far away; turning, he saw the rose in a tall vase on a tall and spindly stool. It seemed to nod towards them in the sunshine. Mrs. Dennant dived her nose towards her camera.

But Mrs. Dennant's eyes, intense and bright, were focused on something far away; turning, he noticed the rose in a tall vase on a tall and slender stool. It seemed to sway toward them in the sunlight. Mrs. Dennant leaned in with her camera.

“The light's perfect now,” she said, in a voice muffled by the cloth. “I feel sure that livin' with decent people will do wonders for him. Of course, he understands that his meals will be served to him apart.”

“The lighting is perfect now,” she said, her voice muffled by the fabric. “I'm sure that living with good people will really help him. Of course, he knows that his meals will be served separately.”

Shelton, doubly anxious, now that his efforts had lodged his client in a place of trust, fell, back on hoping for the best; his instinct told him that, vagabond as Ferrand was, he had a curious self-respect, that would save him from a mean ingratitude.

Shelton, even more anxious now that his efforts had secured his client a place of trust, fell back on hoping for the best; his instinct told him that, despite being a wanderer, Ferrand had a peculiar self-respect that would keep him from being ungrateful.

In fact, as Mrs. Dennant, who was by no means void of common-sense, foresaw, the arrangement worked all right. Ferrand entered on his duties as French tutor to the little Robinsons. In the Dennants' household he kept himself to his own room, which, day and night, he perfumed with tobacco, emerging at noon into the garden, or, if wet, into the study, to teach young Toddles French. After a time it became customary for him to lunch with the house-party, partly through a mistake of Toddles, who seemed to think that it was natural, and partly through John Noble, one of Shelton's friends, who had come to stay, and discovered Ferrand to be a most awfully interesting person he was always, indeed, discovering the most awfully interesting persons. In his grave and toneless voice, brushing his hair from off his brow, he descanted upon Ferrand with enthusiasm, to which was joined a kind of shocked amusement, as who should say, “Of course, I know it's very odd, but really he 's such an awfully interesting person.” For John Noble was a politician, belonging to one of those two Peculiar parties, which, thoroughly in earnest, of an honesty above suspicion, and always very busy, are constitutionally averse to anything peculiar for fear of finding they have overstepped the limit of what is practical in politics. As such he inspired confidence, not caring for things unless he saw some immediate benefit to be had from them, having a perfect sense of decency, and a small imagination. He discussed all sorts of things with Ferrand; on one occasion Shelton overheard them arguing on anarchism.

In fact, just as Mrs. Dennant, who definitely had common sense, predicted, the arrangement worked out just fine. Ferrand started his role as the French tutor for the little Robinsons. In the Dennant household, he mostly stayed in his room, which he constantly filled with the smell of tobacco. He would come out at noon to the garden, or if it was rainy, to the study, to teach young Toddles French. Eventually, it became usual for him to have lunch with the house party, partly due to a misunderstanding from Toddles, who seemed to think it was normal, and partly because of John Noble, one of Shelton's friends who was visiting. John found Ferrand to be an exceptionally interesting person—he always discovered the most interesting people. In his serious and monotone voice, brushing his hair back from his forehead, he talked about Ferrand with enthusiasm, mixed with a sense of shocked amusement, as if to say, “I know it’s quite odd, but he’s really such an interesting person.” John Noble was a politician, part of one of those two Peculiar parties that are completely earnest, above suspicion in their honesty, and always very busy, but are constitutionally against anything unusual for fear of finding they have gone too far from what’s practical in politics. Because of this, he inspired confidence; he wasn’t interested in anything unless he saw some immediate benefit, had a strong sense of decency, and a limited imagination. He discussed all kinds of topics with Ferrand; once, Shelton overheard them debating anarchism.

“No Englishman approves of murder,” Noble was saying, in the gloomy voice that contrasted with the optimistic cast of his fine head, “but the main principle is right. Equalisation of property is bound to come. I sympathise with then, not with their methods.”

“No Englishman approves of murder,” Noble was saying, in the gloomy voice that contrasted with the optimistic look of his fine head, “but the main principle is right. Equalization of property is bound to happen. I sympathize with them, not with their methods.”

“Forgive me,” struck in Ferrand; “do you know any anarchists?”

“Forgive me,” Ferrand interjected; “do you know any anarchists?”

“No,” returned Noble; “I certainly do not.”

“No,” Noble replied; “I definitely do not.”

“You say you sympathise with them, but the first time it comes to action—”

“You say you feel for them, but when it actually comes time to act—”

“Well?”

"What's up?"

“Oh, monsieur! one doesn't make anarchism with the head.”

“Oh, sir! You can't create anarchism just by thinking.”

Shelton perceived that he had meant to add, “but with the heart, the lungs, the liver.” He drew a deeper meaning from the saying, and seemed to see, curling with the smoke from Ferrand's lips, the words: “What do you, an English gentleman, of excellent position, and all the prejudices of your class, know about us outcasts? If you want to understand us you must be an outcast too; we are not playing at the game.”

Shelton realized that he had intended to add, “but with the heart, the lungs, the liver.” He found a deeper significance in the saying and seemed to visualize, swirling with the smoke from Ferrand's lips, the words: “What do you, an English gentleman of good standing, with all the biases of your class, know about us outcasts? If you want to truly understand us, you need to be an outcast too; this isn’t just a game for us.”

This talk took place upon the lawn, at the end of one of Toddles's French lessons, and Shelton left John Noble maintaining to the youthful foreigner, with stubborn logic, that he, John Noble, and the anarchists had much, in common. He was returning to the house, when someone called his name from underneath the holm oak. There, sitting Turkish fashion on the grass, a pipe between his teeth, he found a man who had arrived the night before, and impressed him by his friendly taciturnity. His name was Whyddon, and he had just returned from Central Africa; a brown-faced, large-jawed man, with small but good and steady eyes, and strong, spare figure.

This conversation happened on the lawn after one of Toddles's French lessons, and Shelton left John Noble arguing with the young foreigner, stubbornly insisting that he, John Noble, and the anarchists had a lot in common. He was heading back to the house when someone called his name from under the holm oak. There, sitting cross-legged on the grass with a pipe in his mouth, was a man who had arrived the night before and impressed Shelton with his quiet friendliness. His name was Whyddon, and he had just come back from Central Africa; he was a brown-faced man with a strong jaw, small but kind and steady eyes, and a lean, muscular build.

“Oh, Mr. Shelton!” he said, “I wondered if you could tell me what tips I ought to give the servants here; after ten years away I 've forgotten all about that sort of thing.”

“Oh, Mr. Shelton!” he said, “I was wondering if you could tell me what tips I should give the staff here; after being away for ten years, I’ve totally forgotten about that stuff.”

Shelton sat down beside him; unconsciously assuming, too, a cross-legged attitude, which caused him much discomfort.

Shelton sat down next to him, also crossing his legs without realizing it, which made him quite uncomfortable.

“I was listening,” said his new acquaintance, “to the little chap learning his French. I've forgotten mine. One feels a hopeless duffer knowing no, languages.”

“I was listening,” said his new acquaintance, “to the little kid learning his French. I’ve forgotten mine. It feels pretty hopeless not knowing any languages.”

“I suppose you speak Arabic?” said Shelton.

“I guess you speak Arabic?” Shelton said.

“Oh, Arabic, and a dialect or two; they don't count. That tutor has a curious face.”

“Oh, Arabic, and a couple of dialects; they don’t really matter. That tutor has an interesting face.”

“You think so?” said Shelton, interested. “He's had a curious life.”

“You think so?” Shelton said, intrigued. “He’s had an interesting life.”

The traveller spread his hands, palms downwards, on the grass and looked at Shelton with, a smile.

The traveler spread his hands, palms down, on the grass and looked at Shelton with a smile.

“I should say he was a rolling stone,” he said. “It 's odd, I' ve seen white men in Central Africa with a good deal of his look about them.

“I would say he was a rolling stone,” he said. “It's strange, I've seen white men in Central Africa who have a similar look to him.”

“Your diagnosis is a good one,” answered Shelton.

“Your diagnosis is spot on,” answered Shelton.

“I 'm always sorry for those fellows. There's generally some good in them. They are their own enemies. A bad business to be unable to take pride in anything one does!” And there was a look of pity on his face.

“I'm always sorry for those guys. There's usually some good in them. They end up being their own worst enemies. It’s a shame to not be able to take pride in anything you do!” And there was a look of sympathy on his face.

“That's exactly it,” said Shelton. “I 've often tried to put it into words. Is it incurable?”

“That's exactly it,” said Shelton. “I've often tried to put it into words. Is it something that can't be cured?”

“I think so.”

"Yeah, I think so."

“Can you tell me why?”

"Can you explain why?"

Whyddon pondered.

Whyddon thought.

“I rather think,” he said at last, “it must be because they have too strong a faculty of criticism. You can't teach a man to be proud of his own work; that lies in his blood “; folding his arms across his breast, he heaved a sigh. Under the dark foliage, his eyes on the sunlight, he was the type of all those Englishmen who keep their spirits bright and wear their bodies out in the dark places of hard work. “You can't think,” he said, showing his teeth in a smile, “how delightful it is to be at home! You learn to love the old country when you're away from it.”

“I think,” he finally said, “it must be because they have too strong a critical sense. You can't teach someone to be proud of their own work; that comes naturally.” He folded his arms across his chest and sighed. In the shade of the dark leaves, with his gaze on the sunlight, he embodied all those Englishmen who keep their spirits high and wear themselves out in the tough grind of hard work. “You can’t imagine,” he said, flashing a smile, “how wonderful it is to be home! You really learn to appreciate your country when you're away from it.”

Shelton often thought, afterwards; of this diagnosis of the vagabond, for he was always stumbling on instances of that power of subtle criticism which was the young foreigner's prime claim to be “a most awfully interesting” and perhaps a rather shocking person.

Shelton often thought about this diagnosis of the wanderer afterward, as he regularly encountered examples of that sharp criticism which was the young foreigner's main reason for being “really interesting” and possibly somewhat shocking.

An old school-fellow of Shelton's and his wife were staying in the house, who offered to the eye the picture of a perfect domesticity. Passionless and smiling, it was impossible to imagine they could ever have a difference. Shelton, whose bedroom was next to theirs, could hear them in the mornings talking in exactly the tones they used at lunch, and laughing the same laughs. Their life seemed to accord them perfect satisfaction; they were supplied with their convictions by Society just as, when at home, they were supplied with all the other necessaries of life by some co-operative stores. Their fairly handsome faces, with the fairly kind expressions, quickly and carefully regulated by a sense of compromise, began to worry him so much that when in the same room he would even read to avoid the need of looking at them. And yet they were kind—that is, fairly kind—and clean and quiet in the house, except when they laughed, which was often, and at things which made him want to howl as a dog howls at music.

An old school friend of Shelton's and his wife were staying in the house, presenting a picture of perfect domesticity. Passionless and smiling, it was hard to imagine they could ever disagree. Shelton, whose bedroom was next to theirs, could hear them in the mornings talking in the same tones they used at lunch and laughing the same laughs. Their life seemed to bring them perfect satisfaction; they got their beliefs from Society just like they got all their other necessities from co-op stores back home. Their fairly good-looking faces, with their pretty kind expressions, quickly and carefully adjusted by a sense of compromise, started to annoy him so much that when they were in the same room, he would even read to avoid having to look at them. And yet they were kind—that is, fairly kind—and clean and quiet in the house, except when they laughed, which was often, and at things that made him want to howl like a dog howls at music.

“Mr. Shelton,” Ferrand said one day, “I 'm not an amateur of marriage—never had the chance, as you may well suppose; but, in any case, you have some people in the house who would make me mark time before I went committing it. They seem the ideal young married people—don't quarrel, have perfect health, agree with everybody, go to church, have children—but I should like to hear what is beautiful in their life,” and he grimaced. “It seems to me so ugly that I can only gasp. I would much rather they ill-treated each other, just to show they had the corner of a soul between them. If that is marriage, 'Dieu m'en garde!'.rdquo;

“Mr. Shelton,” Ferrand said one day, “I’m not really into marriage—I’ve never had the opportunity, as you can imagine; but, in any case, there are some people in the house who would definitely make me hesitate before diving in. They seem like the perfect young married couple—they don’t fight, are in great health, get along with everyone, go to church, and have kids—but I’d like to hear what’s actually beautiful about their life,” and he made a face. “It seems so ugly to me that I can hardly breathe. I’d much prefer if they mistreated each other, just to show they had a little bit of a soul between them. If that’s what marriage is, ‘God save me!’”

But Shelton did not answer; he was thinking deeply.

But Shelton didn’t reply; he was lost in thought.

The saying of John Noble's, “He's really a most interesting person,” grew more and more upon his nerves; it seemed to describe the Dennant attitude towards this stranger within their gates. They treated him with a sort of wonder on the “don't touch” system, like an object in an exhibition. The restoration, however, of, his self-respect proceeded with success. For all the semblance of having grown too big for Shelton's clothes, for all his vividly burnt face, and the quick but guarded play of cynicism on his lips—he did much credit to his patrons. He had subdued his terror of a razor, and looked well in a suit of Shelton's flannels. For, after all, he had only been eight years exiled from middle-class gentility, and he had been a waiter half that time. But Shelton wished him at the devil. Not for his manners' sake—he was never tired of watching how subtly the vagabond adapted his conduct to the conduct of his hosts, while keeping up his critical detachment—but because that critical detachment was a constant spur to his own vision, compelling him to analyse the life into which, he had been born and was about to marry. This process was disturbing; and to find out when it had commenced, he had to go back to his meeting with Ferrand on the journey up from Dover.

The saying by John Noble, “He’s really a fascinating person,” started to get on his nerves more and more; it seemed to sum up the way the Dennants viewed this outsider in their midst. They treated him with a sense of curiosity while keeping their distance, like an exhibit in a museum. However, he was successfully regaining his self-respect. Despite appearing to be too big for Shelton’s clothes, with his sunburned face and the quick, guarded flicker of cynicism on his lips, he reflected well on his hosts. He had overcome his fear of a razor and looked sharp in a suit made from Shelton's fabric. After all, he had only been away from middle-class respectability for eight years, and he had spent half that time as a waiter. But Shelton wished he would just go away. Not because of his manners—Shelton was fascinated by how deftly the drifter adjusted his behavior to fit in with his hosts while maintaining a critical distance—but because that critical detachment constantly challenged Shelton’s own views, forcing him to analyze the life he was born into and about to marry into. This was unsettling; to pinpoint when this reflection had started, he had to think back to his meeting with Ferrand during the journey from Dover.

There was kindness in a hospitality which opened to so strange a bird; admitting the kindness, Shelton fell to analysing it. To himself, to people of his class, the use of kindness was a luxury, not significant of sacrifice, but productive of a pleasant feeling in the heart, such as massage will setup in the legs. “Everybody's kind,” he thought; “the question is, What understanding is there, what real sympathy?” This problem gave him food for thought.

There was a certain kindness in the hospitality shown to such an unusual guest; accepting that kindness, Shelton started to analyze it. For himself and people in his social circle, kindness was a luxury, not an act of sacrifice, but something that created a nice feeling in the heart, like a massage does for sore legs. “Everyone's kind,” he thought; “the real question is, what understanding do they have, what genuine sympathy?” This dilemma gave him something to think about.

The progress, which Mrs. Dennant not unfrequently remarked upon, in Ferrand's conquest of his strange position, seemed to Shelton but a sign that he was getting what he could out of his sudden visit to green pastures; under the same circumstances, Shelton thought that he himself would do the same. He felt that the young foreigner was making a convenient bow to property, but he had more respect for the sarcastic smile on the lips of Ferrand's heart.

The progress that Mrs. Dennant often commented on regarding Ferrand's adjustment to his unusual situation seemed to Shelton like just evidence that he was making the most of his unexpected trip to a better place; under similar circumstances, Shelton figured he would do the same. He felt that the young foreigner was just politely acknowledging wealth, but he held more admiration for the sarcastic smile reflecting Ferrand's true feelings.

It was not long before the inevitable change came in the spirit of the situation; more and more was Shelton conscious of a quaint uneasiness in the very breathing of the household.

It wasn't long before the inevitable change arrived in the atmosphere of the situation; Shelton became increasingly aware of a strange discomfort in the very air of the household.

“Curious fellow you've got hold of there, Shelton,” Mr. Dennant said to him during a game of croquet; “he 'll never do any good for himself, I'm afraid.”

“Curious guy you've got there, Shelton,” Mr. Dennant said to him during a game of croquet; “he's never going to amount to anything, I'm afraid.”

“In one sense I'm afraid not,” admitted Shelton.

“In one sense, I’m afraid not,” admitted Shelton.

“Do you know his story? I will bet you sixpence”—and Mr. Dennant paused to swing his mallet with a proper accuracy “that he's been in prison.”

“Do you know his story? I bet you sixpence”—and Mr. Dennant paused to swing his mallet with precise accuracy—“that he's been in prison.”

“Prison!” ejaculated Shelton.

“Prison!” shouted Shelton.

“I think,” said Mr. Dennant, with bent knees carefully measuring his next shot, “that you ought to make inquiries—ah! missed it! Awkward these hoops! One must draw the line somewhere.”

“I think,” said Mr. Dennant, with bent knees carefully measuring his next shot, “that you should make inquiries—ah! missed it! These hoops are tricky! You have to set some limits.”

“I never could draw,” returned Shelton, nettled and uneasy; “but I understand—I 'll give him a hint to go.”

“I could never draw,” Shelton replied, feeling irritated and uncomfortable; “but I get it—I’ll suggest he leave.”

“Don't,” said Mr. Dennant, moving after his second ball, which Shelton had smitten to the farther end, “be offended, my dear Shelton, and by no means give him a hint; he interests me very much—a very clever, quiet young fellow.”

“Don't,” said Mr. Dennant, chasing after his second ball that Shelton had hit to the far end, “be offended, my dear Shelton, and definitely don’t give him any hints; he really interests me—a very smart, reserved young guy.”

That this was not his private view Shelton inferred by studying Mr. Dennant's manner in the presence of the vagabond. Underlying the well-bred banter of the tranquil voice, the guarded quizzicality of his pale brown face, it could be seen that Algernon Cuffe Dennant, Esq., J.P., accustomed to laugh at other people, suspected that he was being laughed at. What more natural than that he should grope about to see how this could be? A vagrant alien was making himself felt by an English Justice of the Peace—no small tribute, this, to Ferrand's personality. The latter would sit silent through a meal, and yet make his effect. He, the object of their kindness, education, patronage, inspired their fear. There was no longer any doubt; it was not of Ferrand that they were afraid, but of what they did not understand in him; of horrid subtleties meandering in the brain under that straight, wet-looking hair; of something bizarre popping from the curving lips below that thin, lopsided nose.

That this wasn’t just his personal opinion, Shelton realized by observing Mr. Dennant's behavior around the vagabond. Beneath the polite teasing of his calm voice and the cautious curiosity on his pale brown face, it was clear that Algernon Cuffe Dennant, Esq., J.P., who was used to laughing at others, suspected he was the target of laughter himself. What could be more natural than for him to wonder how this was happening? A wandering stranger was making his presence felt by an English Justice of the Peace—no small compliment to Ferrand's character. Ferrand would sit in silence during meals and still manage to make an impression. He, the recipient of their kindness, education, and support, evoked their fear. There was no longer any doubt; they weren’t afraid of Ferrand himself but of the things they didn’t understand about him; of the disturbing complexities lurking in his mind beneath that straight, damp-looking hair; of something strange emerging from the curved lips beneath that thin, crooked nose.

But to Shelton in this, as in all else, Antonia was what mattered. At first, anxious to show her lover that she trusted him, she seemed never tired of doing things for his young protege, as though she too had set her heart on his salvation; but, watching her eyes when they rested on the vagabond, Shelton was perpetually reminded of her saying on the first day of his visit to Holm Oaks, “I suppose he 's really good—I mean all these things you told me about were only....”

But for Shelton, in this as in everything else, Antonia was what really mattered. At first, eager to show her partner that she trusted him, she seemed never to tire of doing things for his young protégé, as if she too had invested her heart in his rescue. However, when he saw her gaze linger on the drifter, Shelton was constantly reminded of what she had said on the first day of his visit to Holm Oaks: “I guess he’s really good—I mean, all those things you told me about were only..."

Curiosity never left her glance, nor did that story of his four days' starving leave her mind; a sentimental picturesqueness clung about that incident more valuable by far than this mere human being with whom she had so strangely come in contact. She watched Ferrand, and Shelton watched her. If he had been told that he was watching her, he would have denied it in good faith; but he was bound to watch her, to find out with what eyes she viewed this visitor who embodied all the rebellious under-side of life, all that was absent in herself.

Curiosity never left her gaze, nor did the memory of his four days of starvation leave her thoughts; there was a sentimental charm surrounding that incident that was far more valuable than this ordinary person she had encountered so strangely. She observed Ferrand, and Shelton watched her. If someone had told him he was watching her, he would have honestly denied it; but he had to observe her to see how she looked at this visitor who represented all the rebellious aspects of life, all that was missing in her.

“Dick,” she said to him one day, “you never talk to me of Monsieur Ferrand.”

“Dick,” she said to him one day, “you never talk to me about Monsieur Ferrand.”

“Do you want to talk of him?”

“Do you want to talk about him?”

“Don't you think that he's improved?”

“Don’t you think he’s gotten better?”

“He's fatter.”

“He's overweight.”

Antonia looked grave.

Antonia looked serious.

“No, but really?”

“No way, really?”

“I don't know,” said Shelton; “I can't judge him.”

“I don’t know,” Shelton said; “I can’t judge him.”

Antonia turned her face away, and something in her attitude alarmed him.

Antonia turned her face away, and there was something in her demeanor that worried him.

“He was once a sort of gentleman,” she said; “why shouldn't he become one again?”

“He was once a kind of gentleman,” she said; “why can’t he be one again?”

Sitting on the low wall of the kitchen-garden, her head was framed by golden plums. The sun lay barred behind the foliage of the holm oak, but a little patch filtering through a gap had rested in the plum-tree's heart. It crowned the girl. Her raiment, the dark leaves, the red wall, the golden plums, were woven by the passing glow to a block of pagan colour. And her face above it, chaste, serene, was like the scentless summer evening. A bird amongst the currant bushes kept a little chant vibrating; and all the plum-tree's shape and colour seemed alive.

Sitting on the low wall of the garden, her head was surrounded by golden plums. The sun was blocked by the leaves of the holm oak, but a small patch of light filtering through a gap settled in the heart of the plum tree. It crowned the girl. Her clothes, the dark leaves, the red wall, and the golden plums were blended together by the passing light into a vibrant display of color. Her face above it, pure and calm, resembled a scentless summer evening. A bird among the currant bushes kept a soft tune resonating, and the shape and color of the plum tree seemed to come alive.

“Perhaps he does n't want to be a gentleman,” said Shelton.

“Maybe he doesn't want to be a gentleman,” said Shelton.

Antonia swung her foot.

Antonia kicked.

“How can he help wanting to?”

“How can he help wanting to?”

“He may have a different philosophy of life.”

“He might have a different outlook on life.”

Antonia was slow to answer.

Antonia took her time to respond.

“I know nothing about philosophies of life,” she said at last.

"I don't know anything about life philosophies," she finally said.

Shelton answered coldly,

Shelton replied icily,

“No two people have the same.”

"Everyone is unique."

With the falling sun-glow the charm passed off the tree. Chilled and harder, yet less deep, it was no more a block of woven colour, warm and impassive, like a southern goddess; it was now a northern tree, with a grey light through its leaves.

With the setting sun, the magic faded from the tree. It became chilled and harder, though less intense; it was no longer a block of woven color, warm and indifferent like a southern goddess; now it was a northern tree, bathed in a gray light filtering through its leaves.

“I don't understand you in the least,” she said; “everyone wishes to be good.”

“I don’t get you at all,” she said; “everyone wants to be good.”

“And safe?” asked Shelton gently.

“And safe?” Shelton asked softly.

Antonia stared.

Antonia was staring.

“Suppose,” he said—“I don't pretend to know, I only suppose—what Ferrand really cares for is doing things differently from other people? If you were to load him with a character and give him money on condition that he acted as we all act, do you think he would accept it?”

“Let’s say,” he said—“I’m not claiming to know, I’m just guessing—what Ferrand really cares about is doing things differently from everyone else? If you were to give him a reputation and pay him on the condition that he acted like we all do, do you think he would go for it?”

“Why not?”

"What's stopping us?"

“Why are n't cats dogs; or pagans Christians?”

“Why aren't cats dogs, or pagans Christians?”

Antonia slid down from the wall.

Antonia slid down from the wall.

“You don't seem to think there 's any use in trying,” she said, and turned away.

“You don't seem to think there's any point in trying,” she said, and turned away.

Shelton made a movement as if he would go after her, and then stood still, watching her figure slowly pass, her head outlined above the wall, her hands turned back across her narrow hips. She halted at the bend, looked back, then, with an impatient gesture, disappeared.

Shelton moved as if he was going to follow her but then stopped, watching her silhouette slowly walk away, her head visible above the wall, her hands resting on her narrow hips. She paused at the corner, looked back, and then, with an annoyed gesture, vanished.

Antonia was slipping from him!

Antonia was slipping away from him!

A moment's vision from without himself would have shown him that it was he who moved and she who was standing still, like the figure of one watching the passage of a stream with clear, direct, and sullen eyes.

A moment's perspective from outside himself would have revealed that he was the one in motion and she was standing still, like someone observing the flow of a stream with clear, straightforward, and brooding eyes.





CHAPTER XXVIII

THE RIVER

One day towards the end of August Shelton took Antonia on the river—the river that, like soft music, soothes the land; the river of the reeds and poplars, the silver swan-sails, sun and moon, woods, and the white slumbrous clouds; where cuckoos, and the wind, the pigeons, and the weirs are always singing; and in the flash of naked bodies, the play of waterlily leaves, queer goblin stumps, and the twilight faces of the twisted tree-roots, Pan lives once more.

One day toward the end of August, Shelton took Antonia to the river—the river that, like soft music, calms the land; the river of reeds and poplars, the silver swan sails, the sun and moon, the woods, and the white, sleepy clouds; where cuckoos, the wind, pigeons, and the weirs are always singing; and in the flash of bare bodies, the play of water lily leaves, strange goblin stumps, and the twilight faces of the twisted tree roots, Pan comes to life once again.

The reach which Shelton chose was innocent of launches, champagne bottles and loud laughter; it was uncivilised, and seldom troubled by these humanising influences. He paddled slowly, silent and absorbed, watching Antonia. An unaccustomed languor clung about her; her eyes had shadows, as though she had not slept; colour glowed softly in her cheeks, her frock seemed all alight with golden radiance. She made Shelton pull into the reeds, and plucked two rounded lilies sailing like ships against slow-moving water.

The spot Shelton picked was free of boats, champagne bottles, and loud laughter; it felt wild and was rarely disturbed by those human touches. He paddled slowly, quiet and focused, watching Antonia. She had an unusual heaviness about her; her eyes had shadows, as if she hadn’t slept; a soft color glowed in her cheeks, and her dress looked like it was lit up with golden light. She made Shelton steer into the reeds and picked two rounded lilies floating like boats on the slow-moving water.

“Pull into the shade, please,” she said; “it's too hot out here.”

“Pull into the shade, please,” she said. “It’s too hot out here.”

The brim of her linen hat kept the sun from her face, but her head was drooping like a flower's head at noon.

The brim of her linen hat shielded her face from the sun, but her head was hanging down like a flower's head at noon.

Shelton saw that the heat was really harming her, as too hot a day will dim the icy freshness of a northern plant. He dipped his sculls, the ripples started out and swam in grave diminuendo till they touched the banks.

Shelton noticed that the heat was seriously affecting her, just like an excessively hot day can dull the crispness of a northern plant. He dipped his oars, and the ripples spread out, gradually fading until they reached the banks.

He shot the boat into a cleft, and caught the branches of an overhanging tree. The skiff rested, balancing with mutinous vibration, like a living thing.

He steered the boat into a gap and grabbed onto the branches of a tree hanging above. The skiff settled, swaying with a rebellious vibration, almost like it was alive.

“I should hate to live in London,” said Antonia suddenly; “the slums must be so awful. What a pity, when there are places like this! But it's no good thinking.”

“I would hate to live in London,” Antonia said suddenly; “the slums must be terrible. What a shame, when there are places like this! But there's no point in thinking about it.”

“No,” answered Shelton slowly! “I suppose it is no good.”

“No,” Shelton replied slowly. “I guess it’s no good.”

“There are some bad cottages at the lower end of Cross Eaton. I went them one day with Miss Truecote. The people won't help themselves. It's so discouraging to help people who won't help themselves.”

“There are some rundown cottages at the lower end of Cross Eaton. I visited them one day with Miss Truecote. The people won’t help themselves. It’s really discouraging to help those who won’t help themselves.”

She was leaning her elbows on her knees, and, with her chin resting on her hands, gazed up at Shelton. All around them hung a tent of soft, thick leaves, and, below, the water was deep-dyed with green refraction. Willow boughs, swaying above the boat, caressed Antonia's arms and shoulders; her face and hair alone were free.

She was resting her elbows on her knees, with her chin in her hands, looking up at Shelton. All around them was a canopy of soft, thick leaves, and below, the water was a deep green. Willow branches swayed above the boat, brushing against Antonia's arms and shoulders; only her face and hair were free.

“So discouraging,” she said again.

"So disappointing," she said again.

A silence fell.... Antonia seemed thinking deeply.

A silence settled in.... Antonia appeared to be lost in thought.

“Doubts don't help you,” she said suddenly; “how can you get any good from doubts? The thing is to win victories.”

“Doubts don't do you any good,” she said suddenly; “how can you gain anything from doubts? The goal is to achieve victories.”

“Victories?” said Shelton. “I 'd rather understand than conquer!”

“Victories?” said Shelton. “I’d rather understand than win!”

He had risen to his feet, and grasped stunted branch, canting the boat towards the bank.

He stood up and grabbed a short branch, tilting the boat toward the shore.

“How can you let things slide like that, Dick? It's like Ferrand.”

“How can you just let things go like that, Dick? It's just like Ferrand.”

“Have you such a bad opinion of him, then?” asked Shelton. He felt on the verge of some, discovery.

“Do you really think so poorly of him?” Shelton asked. He felt like he was about to discover something.

She buried her chin deeper in her hands.

She buried her chin deeper in her hands.

“I liked him at first,” she said; “I thought that he was different. I thought he couldn't really be—”

“I liked him at first,” she said; “I thought he was different. I thought he couldn't really be—”

“Really be what?”

"Seriously, what do you mean?"

Antonia did not answer.

Antonia didn’t respond.

“I don't know,” she said at last. “I can't explain. I thought—”

“I don’t know,” she finally said. “I can’t explain. I thought—”

Shelton still stood, holding to the branch, and the oscillation of the boat freed an infinity of tiny ripples.

Shelton still stood, gripping the branch, and the motion of the boat created countless tiny ripples.

“You thought—what?” he said.

"You thought—what?" he asked.

He ought to have seen her face grow younger, more childish, even timid. She said in a voice smooth, round, and young:

He should have noticed her face becoming younger, more childlike, even shy. She said in a voice that was smooth, rounded, and youthful:

“You know, Dick, I do think we ought to try. I know I don't try half hard enough. It does n't do any good to think; when you think, everything seems so mixed, as if there were nothing to lay hold of. I do so hate to feel like that. It is n't as if we didn't know what's right. Sometimes I think, and think, and it 's all no good, only a waste of time, and you feel at the end as if you had been doing wrong.”

“You know, Dick, I really think we should give it a shot. I know I don’t put in half the effort I should. Just thinking doesn’t help; when you think, everything feels so jumbled, like there’s nothing to grasp. I really hate feeling that way. It’s not like we don’t know what’s right. Sometimes I think and think, and it’s all pointless, just a waste of time, and in the end, you feel like you’ve been doing something wrong.”

Shelton frowned.

Shelton frowned.

“What has n't been through fire's no good,” he said; and, letting go the branch, sat down. Freed from restraint, the boat edged out towards the current. “But what about Ferrand?”

“What hasn't been through fire is no good,” he said, and, releasing the branch, sat down. Free from restraint, the boat drifted toward the current. “But what about Ferrand?”

“I lay awake last night wondering what makes you like him so. He's so bitter; he makes me feel unhappy. He never seems content with anything. And he despises”—her face hardened—“I mean, he hates us all!”

“I lay awake last night wondering what makes you like him so much. He's so bitter; he makes me feel unhappy. He never seems satisfied with anything. And he despises”—her expression hardened—“I mean, he hates us all!”

“So should I if I were he,” said Shelton.

“So should I if I were him,” said Shelton.

The boat was drifting on, and gleams of sunlight chased across their faces. Antonia spoke again.

The boat was drifting along, and sunlight sparkled across their faces. Antonia spoke again.

“He seems to be always looking at dark things, or else he seems as if—as if he could—enjoy himself too much. I thought—I thought at first,” she stammered, “that we could do him good.”

“He always seems to be focused on the negative, or it’s like he could—enjoy himself too much. I thought—I thought at first,” she stammered, “that we could help him.”

“Do him good! Ha, ha!”

"Do him good! Ha, ha!"

A startled rat went swimming for its life against the stream; and Shelton saw that he had done a dreadful thing: he had let Antonia with a jerk into a secret not hitherto admitted even by himself—the secret that her eyes were not his eyes, her way of seeing things not his nor ever would be. He quickly muffled up his laughter. Antonia had dropped her gaze; her face regained its languor, but the bosom of her dress was heaving. Shelton watched her, racking his brains to find excuses for that fatal laugh; none could he find. It was a little piece of truth. He paddled slowly on, close to the bank, in the long silence of the river.

A startled rat swam for its life against the current, and Shelton realized he had done something terrible: he had forced Antonia into a truth he had never even admitted to himself—the truth that her eyes weren’t his eyes, her perspective was different from his and always would be. He quickly stifled his laughter. Antonia had lowered her gaze; her face lost its energy, but the front of her dress was rising and falling. Shelton watched her, desperately trying to find excuses for that fateful laugh; he couldn’t come up with any. It was a small piece of truth. He paddled slowly along, close to the riverbank, in the long silence of the river.

The breeze had died away, not a fish was rising; save for the lost music of the larks no birds were piping; alone, a single pigeon at brief intervals cooed from the neighbouring wood.

The breeze had stopped, not a fish was jumping; except for the distant sound of the larks, there were no birds singing; only a single pigeon cooed occasionally from the nearby woods.

They did not stay much longer in the boat.

They didn't stay in the boat much longer.

On the homeward journey in the pony-cart, rounding a corner of the road, they came on Ferrand in his pince-nez, holding a cigarette between his fingers and talking to a tramp, who was squatting on the bank. The young foreigner recognised them, and at once removed his hat.

On the way home in the pony-cart, as they turned a corner on the road, they saw Ferrand in his glasses, holding a cigarette between his fingers and chatting with a homeless man who was sitting on the bank. The young foreigner recognized them and immediately took off his hat.

“There he is,” said Shelton, returning the salute.

“There he is,” Shelton said, returning the salute.

Antonia bowed.

Antonia bowed.

“Oh!” she, cried, when they were out of hearing, “I wish he 'd go. I can't bear to see him; it's like looking at the dark.”

“Oh!” she cried when they were out of earshot, “I wish he’d leave. I can't stand to see him; it’s like staring into darkness.”





CHAPTER XXIX

ON THE WING

That night, having gone up to his room, Shelton filled his pipe for his unpleasant duty. He had resolved to hint to Ferrand that he had better go. He was still debating whether to write or go himself to the young foreigner, when there came a knock and Ferrand himself appeared.

That night, after heading up to his room, Shelton packed his pipe for his uncomfortable task. He had decided to suggest to Ferrand that he should leave. He was still debating whether to write a note or confront the young foreigner in person when there was a knock, and Ferrand walked in.

“I should be sorry,” he said, breaking an awkward silence, “if you were to think me ungrateful, but I see no future for me here. It would be better for me to go. I should never be content to pass my life in teaching languages 'ce n'est guere dans mon caractre'.”

“I would feel bad,” he said, breaking an awkward silence, “if you thought I was ungrateful, but I don’t see a future for myself here. It would be better for me to leave. I could never be happy spending my life teaching languages 'it's hardly in my character'.”

As soon as what he had been cudgelling his brains to find a way of saying had thus been said for him, Shelton experienced a sense of disapproval.

As soon as what he had been struggling to express was said for him, Shelton felt a sense of disapproval.

“What do you expect to get that's better?” he said, avoiding Ferrand's eyes.

“What do you think you'll get that's better?” he said, avoiding Ferrand's gaze.

“Thanks to your kindness,” replied the latter, “I find myself restored. I feel that I ought to make some good efforts to dominate my social position.”

“Thanks to your kindness,” replied the latter, “I feel like I've bounced back. I realize I should make a real effort to take control of my social standing.”

“I should think it well over, if I were you!” said Shelton.

“I would definitely think it through, if I were you!” said Shelton.

“I have, and it seems to me that I'm wasting my time. For a man with any courage languages are no career; and, though I 've many defects, I still have courage.”

“I have, and it seems to me that I'm wasting my time. For a man with any courage, languages are not a career; and while I have many flaws, I still have courage.”

Shelton let his pipe go out, so pathetic seemed to him this young man's faith in his career; it was no pretended faith, but neither was it, he felt, his true motive for departure. “He's tired,” he thought; “that 's it. Tired of one place.” And having the instinctive sense that nothing would keep Ferrand, he redoubled his advice.

Shelton let his pipe go out, as he found this young man's faith in his career so pathetic; it was genuine faith, but he felt it wasn't really the true reason for his departure. “He's just tired,” he thought; “that's all. Tired of being in one place.” And with the instinctive understanding that nothing could hold Ferrand back, he intensified his advice.

“I should have thought,” he said, “that you would have done better to have held on here and saved a little before going off to God knows what.”

“I should have thought,” he said, “that you would have done better to stick around and save a bit before heading off to God knows where.”

“To save,” said Ferrand, “is impossible for me, but, thanks to you and your good friends, I 've enough to make front to first necessities. I'm in correspondence with a friend; it's of great importance for me to reach Paris before all the world returns. I 've a chance to get, a post in one of the West African companies. One makes fortunes out there—if one survives, and, as you know, I don't set too much store by life.”

“To save,” said Ferrand, “is impossible for me, but thanks to you and your good friends, I have enough to manage my basic needs. I'm in touch with a friend; it's really important for me to get to Paris before everyone else comes back. I have a chance to get a job with one of the West African companies. People can make a fortune out there—if they survive, and, as you know, I don't value life too much.”

“We have a proverb,” said Shelton, “'A bird in the hand is worth two birds in the bush!'.rdquo;

“We have a saying,” Shelton said, “'A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush!'.”

“That,” returned Ferrand, “like all proverbs, is just half true. This is an affair of temperament. It 's not in my character to dandle one when I see two waiting to be caught; 'voyager, apprendre, c'est plus fort que moi'.” He paused; then, with a nervous goggle of the eyes and an ironic smile he said: “Besides, 'mon cher monsieur', it is better that I go. I have never been one to hug illusions, and I see pretty clearly that my presence is hardly acceptable in this house.”

“That,” Ferrand replied, “like all proverbs, is only half true. This is a matter of temperament. It’s not in my nature to dally when I see two opportunities waiting to be seized; 'to travel, to learn, it's stronger than me'.” He paused; then, with a nervous look and a sarcastic smile he added: “Besides, 'my dear sir', it’s better that I leave. I’ve never been one to cling to illusions, and I can clearly see that my presence is not really welcome in this house.”

“What makes you say that?” asked, Shelton, feeling that the murder was now out.”

“What makes you say that?” asked Shelton, feeling that the murder was now exposed.

“My dear sir, all the world has not your understanding and your lack of prejudice, and, though your friends have been extremely kind to me, I am in a false position; I cause them embarrassment, which is not extraordinary when you reflect what I have been, and that they know my history.”

“My dear sir, not everyone in the world has your understanding and your open-mindedness, and while your friends have been very kind to me, I find myself in a difficult situation; I make them uncomfortable, which is not surprising when you consider my past and that they are aware of my history.”

“Not through me,” said Shelton quickly, “for I don't know it myself.”

“Not through me,” Shelton said quickly, “because I don’t know it either.”

“It's enough,” the vagrant said, “that they feel I'm not a bird of their feather. They cannot change, neither can I. I have never wanted to remain where I 'm not welcome.”

“It's enough,” the vagrant said, “that they feel I'm not one of them. They can't change, and neither can I. I've never wanted to stay where I'm not wanted.”

Shelton turned to the window, and stared into the darkness; he would never quite understand this vagabond, so delicate, so cynical, and he wondered if Ferrand had been swallowing down the words, “Why, even you won't be sorry to see my back!”

Shelton turned to the window and gazed into the darkness; he would never really understand this wanderer, so fragile, so cynical, and he wondered if Ferrand had been holding back the words, “Well, even you won’t be sad to see me go!”

“Well,” he said at last, “if you must go, you must. When do you start?”

“Well,” he finally said, “if you have to go, you have to go. When do you start?”

“I 've arranged with a man to carry my things to the early train. I think it better not to say good-bye. I 've written a letter instead; here it is. I left it open for you to read if you should wish.”

“I’ve made plans with someone to take my stuff to the early train. I think it’s best not to say goodbye. I’ve written a letter instead; here it is. I left it open for you to read if you want.”

“Then,” said Shelton, with a curious mingling of relief, regret, good-will, “I sha'n'. see you again?”

“Then,” said Shelton, with a strange mix of relief, regret, and goodwill, “I won't see you again?”

Ferrand gave his hand a stealthy rub, and held it out.

Ferrand secretly rubbed his hand and extended it.

“I shall never forget what you have done for me,” he said.

“I will never forget what you’ve done for me,” he said.

“Mind you write,” said Shelton.

"Make sure to write," said Shelton.

“Yes, yes”—the vagrant's face was oddly twisted—“you don't know what a difference it makes to have a correspondent; it gives one courage. I hope to remain a long time in correspondence with you.”

“Yes, yes”—the vagrant's face was oddly twisted—“you don’t know how much of a difference it makes to have a contact; it gives you confidence. I hope to stay in touch with you for a long time.”

“I dare say you do,” thought Shelton grimly, with a certain queer emotion.

"I'd say you do," Shelton thought grimly, feeling a strange emotion.

“You will do me the justice to remember that I have never asked you for anything,” said Ferrand. “Thank you a thousand times. Good-bye!”

“You will do me the favor of remembering that I have never asked you for anything,” said Ferrand. “Thank you a thousand times. Goodbye!”

He again wrung his patron's hand in his damp grasp, and, going out, left Shelton with an odd sensation in his throat. “You will do me the justice to remember that I have never asked you for anything.” The phrase seemed strange, and his mind flew back over all this queer acquaintanceship. It was a fact: from the beginning to the end the youth had never really asked for anything. Shelton sat down on his bed, and began to read the letter in his hand. It was in French.

He once again squeezed his patron's hand in his clammy grip, and as he left, Shelton was left with a strange feeling in his throat. “You will do me the favor of remembering that I have never asked you for anything.” The statement felt odd, and he reflected on their unusual relationship. It was true: from start to finish, the young man had never genuinely asked for anything. Shelton sat down on his bed and began to read the letter in his hand. It was in French.

DEAR MADAME (it ran),

Dear Madam,

It will be insupportable to me, after your kindness, if you take me for ungrateful. Unfortunately, a crisis has arrived which plunges me into the necessity of leaving your hospitality. In all lives, as you are well aware, there arise occasions that one cannot govern, and I know that you will pardon me that I enter into no explanation on an event which gives me great chagrin, and, above all, renders me subject to an imputation of ingratitude, which, believe me, dear Madame, by no means lies in my character. I know well enough that it is a breach of politeness to leave you without in person conveying the expression of my profound reconnaissance, but if you consider how hard it is for me to be compelled to abandon all that is so distinguished in domestic life, you will forgive my weakness. People like me, who have gone through existence with their eyes open, have remarked that those who are endowed with riches have a right to look down on such as are not by wealth and breeding fitted to occupy the same position. I shall never dispute a right so natural and salutary, seeing that without this distinction, this superiority, which makes of the well-born and the well-bred a race apart, the rest of the world would have no standard by which to rule their lives, no anchor to throw into the depths of that vast sea of fortune and of misfortune on which we others drive before the wind. It is because of this, dear Madame, that I regard myself so doubly fortunate to have been able for a few minutes in this bitter pilgrimage called life, to sit beneath the tree of safety. To have been able, if only for an hour, to sit and set the pilgrims pass, the pilgrims with the blistered feet and ragged clothes, and who yet, dear Madame, guard within their hearts a certain joy in life, illegal joy, like the desert air which travellers will tell you fills men as with wine to be able thus to sit an hour, and with a smile to watch them pass, lame and blind, in all the rags of their deserved misfortunes, can you not conceive, dear Madame, how that must be for such as I a comfort? Whatever one may say, it is sweet, from a position of security, to watch the sufferings of others; it gives one a good sensation in the heart.

It would be unbearable for me, after your kindness, if you think of me as ungrateful. Unfortunately, a situation has come up that forces me to leave your hospitality. As you know well, there are moments in life that are beyond our control, and I hope you'll understand why I can't explain this event that causes me great sadness and, above all, makes me seem ungrateful, which I assure you, dear Madame, is not part of my character. I know it's rude to leave without expressing my deep gratitude in person, but if you consider how difficult it is for me to turn my back on everything that is so wonderful in domestic life, you'll forgive my weakness. People like me, who have lived life with their eyes wide open, have noticed that those who are wealthy feel entitled to look down on those who aren't born into wealth and privilege. I will never challenge such a natural and necessary right, as without this distinction, this superiority that sets the well-born and well-bred apart, the rest of the world would have no standard to guide their lives, no anchor to hold onto in the vast sea of fortune and misfortune in which we drift. Because of this, dear Madame, I feel incredibly fortunate to have had even a few moments in this harsh journey called life to sit under a tree of safety. To have been able, if only for an hour, to watch the weary travelers with sore feet and tattered clothes, who still, dear Madame, carry a certain joy in their hearts—an illegal joy, like the desert air that travelers say can fill you with the feeling of wine—can you imagine how comforting that must be for someone like me? No matter what anyone says, it’s sweet to observe the suffering of others from a secure position; it gives a warm feeling in the heart.

In writing this, I recollect that I myself once had the chance of passing all my life in this enviable safety, and as you may suppose, dear Madame, I curse myself that I should ever have had the courage to step beyond the boundaries of this fine tranquil state. Yet, too, there have been times when I have asked myself: “Do we really differ from the wealthy—we others, birds of the fields, who have our own philosophy, grown from the pains of needing bread—we who see that the human heart is not always an affair of figures, or of those good maxims that one finds in copy-books—do we really differ?” It is with shame that I confess to have asked myself a question so heretical. But now, when for these four weeks I have had the fortune of this rest beneath your roof, I see how wrong I was to entertain such doubts. It is a great happiness to have decided once for all this point, for it is not in my character to pass through life uncertain—mistaken, perhaps—on psychological matters such as these. No, Madame; rest happily assured that there is a great difference, which in the future will be sacred for me. For, believe me, Madame, it would be calamity for high Society if by chance there should arise amongst them any understanding of all that side of life which—vast as the plains and bitter as the sea, black as the ashes of a corpse, and yet more free than any wings of birds who fly away—is so justly beyond the grasp of their philosophy. Yes, believe me, dear Madame, there is no danger in the world so much to be avoided by all the members of that circle, most illustrious, most respectable, called high Society.

In writing this, I remember that I once had the chance to live my whole life in this enviable safety, and as you might guess, dear Madame, I regret ever having been brave enough to step outside the boundaries of this peaceful existence. Still, there have been times when I've wondered: “Do we really differ from the wealthy? We, the birds of the fields, who have our own philosophy built from the struggles of needing bread—don’t we see that the human heart isn't always about numbers, or those good sayings you find in textbooks—do we really differ?” I feel ashamed to admit I've asked myself such a heretical question. But now, after four weeks of enjoying this peace under your roof, I realize how wrong I was to have those doubts. It’s a great relief to have settled this matter once and for all, as it’s not in my nature to go through life unsure—perhaps mistaken—about psychological issues like these. No, Madame; rest assured that there is a significant difference, which from now on will be sacred to me. Because, believe me, Madame, it would be a disaster for high Society if they ever gained any understanding of that side of life which—vast as the plains, harsh as the sea, dark as the ashes of a corpse, and yet freer than any bird's wings that fly away—remains so rightly beyond their philosophy. Yes, believe me, dear Madame, there is no danger in the world more to be avoided by all the members of that circle, most illustrious, most respectable, known as high Society.

From what I have said you may imagine how hard it is for me to take my flight. I shall always keep for you the most distinguished sentiments. With the expression of my full regard for you and your good family, and of a gratitude as sincere as it is badly worded,

From what I've said, you can imagine how hard it is for me to leave. I will always hold the deepest feelings for you. With all my respect for you and your wonderful family, and a gratitude that's as genuine as it is awkwardly expressed,

Believe me, dear Madame,

Trust me, dear Madame,

Your devoted

Your loyal

LOUIS FERRAND.

LOUIS FERRAND.

Shelton's first impulse was to tear the letter up, but this he reflected he had no right to do. Remembering, too, that Mrs. Dennant's French was orthodox, he felt sure she would never understand the young foreigner's subtle innuendoes. He closed the envelope and went to bed, haunted still by Ferrand's parting look.

Shelton's first instinct was to rip up the letter, but he realized he didn't have the right to do that. He also remembered that Mrs. Dennant's French was proper, making him confident she wouldn't grasp the young foreigner's subtle hints. He sealed the envelope and went to bed, still troubled by Ferrand's last look.

It was with no small feeling of embarrassment, however, that, having sent the letter to its destination by an early footman, he made his appearance at the breakfast-table. Behind the Austrian coffee-urn, filled with French coffee, Mrs. Dennant, who had placed four eggs in a German egg-boiler, said “Good-morning,” with a kindly smile.

It was with a bit of embarrassment, though, that he showed up at the breakfast table after sending the letter off with an early footman. Behind the Austrian coffee urn filled with French coffee, Mrs. Dennant, who had put four eggs in a German egg boiler, said “Good morning” with a friendly smile.

“Dick, an egg?” she asked him, holding up a fifth.

“Dick, an egg?” she asked him, holding up a fifth.

“No, thank you,” replied Shelton, greeting the table and fitting down.

“No, thank you,” replied Shelton, approaching the table and sitting down.

He was a little late; the buzz of conversation rose hilariously around.

He was a bit late; the cheerful chatter buzzed all around.

“My dear,” continued Mr. Dennant, who was talking to his youngest daughter, “you'll have no chance whatever—not the least little bit of chance.”

“My dear,” continued Mr. Dennant, who was talking to his youngest daughter, “you won’t have any chance at all—not even the slightest little bit of a chance.”

“Father, what nonsense! You know we shall beat your heads off!”

“Dad, what nonsense! You know we're going to knock your heads off!”

“Before it 's too late, then, I will eat a muffin. Shelton, pass the muffins!” But in making this request, Mr. Dennant avoided looking in his face.

“Before it’s too late, I’m going to eat a muffin. Shelton, pass the muffins!” But when he made this request, Mr. Dennant avoided looking him in the eye.

Antonia, too, seemed to keep her eyes away from him. She was talking to a Connoisseur on Art of supernatural appearances, and seemed in the highest spirits. Shelton rose, and, going to the sideboard, helped himself to grouse.

Antonia also seemed to avoid looking at him. She was chatting with a connoisseur about supernatural art, and she looked really happy. Shelton got up and went to the sideboard to help himself to some grouse.

“Who was the young man I saw yesterday on the lawn?” he heard the Connoisseur remark. “Struck me as having an—er—quite intelligent physiog.”

“Who was that young man I saw yesterday on the lawn?” he heard the Connoisseur say. “He seemed to have a—uh—pretty intelligent face.”

His own intelligent physiog, raised at a slight slant so that he might look the better through his nose-nippers, was the very pattern of approval. “It's curious how one's always meeting with intelligence;” it seemed to say. Mrs. Dennant paused in the act of adding cream, and Shelton scrutinised her face; it was hare-like, and superior as ever. Thank goodness she had smelt no rat! He felt strangely disappointed.

His sharp, intelligent features, tilted slightly to help him see better through his glasses, were the perfect image of approval. “It's interesting how you always encounter intelligence,” it seemed to express. Mrs. Dennant paused while adding cream, and Shelton examined her face; it had a rabbit-like quality, and she looked as self-assured as ever. Thank goodness she hadn't detected anything amiss! He felt oddly let down.

“You mean Monsieur Ferrand, teachin' Toddles French? Dobson, the Professor's cup.”

“You mean Mr. Ferrand, teaching Toddles French? Dobson, the Professor's cup.”

“I hope I shall see him again,” cooed the Connoisseur; “he was quite interesting on the subject of young German working men. It seems they tramp from place to place to learn their trades. What nationality was he, may I ask?”

“I hope to see him again,” said the Connoisseur. “He was really interesting about young German workers. It seems they travel from place to place to learn their trades. What nationality was he, if I may ask?”

Mr. Dennant, of whom he asked this question, lifted his brows, and said,

Mr. Dennant, to whom he asked this question, raised his eyebrows and said,

“Ask Shelton.”

"Ask Shelton."

“Half Dutch, half French.”

“Mixed Dutch and French.”

“Very interesting breed; I hope I shall see him again.”

“Very interesting breed; I hope I see him again.”

“Well, you won't,” said Thea suddenly; “he's gone.”

“Well, you won't,” Thea said suddenly; “he's gone.”

Shelton saw that their good breeding alone prevented all from adding, “And thank goodness, too!”

Shelton noticed that their good upbringing kept everyone from adding, “And thank goodness for that, too!”

“Gone? Dear me, it's very—”

“Gone? Oh no, that's very—”

“Yes,” said Mr. Dennant, “very sudden.”

“Yes,” Mr. Dennant said, “very sudden.”

“Now, Algie,” murmured Mrs. Dennant, “it 's quite a charmin' letter. Must have taken the poor young man an hour to write.”

“Now, Algie,” whispered Mrs. Dennant, “it's such a charming letter. It must have taken the poor young man at least an hour to write.”

“Oh, mother!” cried Antonia.

“Oh, Mom!” cried Antonia.

And Shelton felt his face go crimson. He had suddenly remembered that her French was better than her mother's.

And Shelton felt his face turn red. He suddenly remembered that her French was better than her mom's.

“He seems to have had a singular experience,” said the Connoisseur.

“He seems to have had a unique experience,” said the Connoisseur.

“Yes,” echoed Mr. Dennant; “he 's had some singular experience. If you want to know the details, ask friend Shelton; it's quite romantic. In the meantime, my dear; another cup?”

“Yes,” echoed Mr. Dennant; “he's had some unusual experiences. If you want to know the details, just ask our friend Shelton; it's quite a story. In the meantime, my dear, would you like another cup?”

The Connoisseur, never quite devoid of absent-minded malice, spurred his curiosity to a further effort; and, turning his well-defended eyes on Shelton, murmured,

The Connoisseur, never entirely lacking in absent-minded malice, pushed his curiosity for more; and, turning his carefully guarded gaze on Shelton, murmured,

“Well, Mr. Shelton, you are the historian, it seems.”

“Well, Mr. Shelton, it looks like you're the historian."

“There is no history,” said Shelton, without looking up.

“There’s no history,” Shelton said, not looking up.

“Ah, that's very dull,” remarked the Connoisseur.

“Wow, that's really boring,” said the Connoisseur.

“My dear Dick,” said Mrs. Dennant, “that was really a most touchin' story about his goin' without food in Paris.”

“My dear Dick,” said Mrs. Dennant, “that was really a very touching story about his going without food in Paris.”

Shelton shot another look at Antonia; her face was frigid. “I hate your d—-d superiority!” he thought, staring at the Connoisseur.

Shelton shot another look at Antonia; her face was cold. “I hate your damn superiority!” he thought, staring at the Connoisseur.

“There's nothing,” said that gentleman, “more enthralling than starvation. Come, Mr Shelton.”

“There's nothing,” said that man, “more captivating than starvation. Come on, Mr. Shelton.”

“I can't tell stories,” said Shelton; “never could.”

“I can't tell stories,” Shelton said. “Never have been able to.”

He cared not a straw for Ferrand, his coming, going, or his history; for, looking at Antonia, his heart was heavy.

He didn't care at all about Ferrand—his arrivals, departures, or background; because, looking at Antonia, his heart was weighed down.





CHAPTER XXX

THE LADY FROM BEYOND

The morning was sultry, brooding, steamy. Antonia was at her music, and from the room where Shelton tried to fix attention on a book he could hear her practising her scales with a cold fury that cast an added gloom upon his spirit. He did not see her until lunch, and then she again sat next the Connoisseur. Her cheeks were pale, but there was something feverish in her chatter to her neighbour; she still refused to look at Shelton. He felt very miserable. After lunch, when most of them had left the table, the rest fell to discussing country neighbours.

The morning was hot, gloomy, and humid. Antonia was focused on her music, and from the room where Shelton tried to concentrate on a book, he could hear her practicing her scales with a cold intensity that added to his sense of gloom. He didn't see her until lunch, when she again sat next to the Connoisseur. Her cheeks were pale, but there was something restless in her conversation with her neighbor; she still refused to look at Shelton. He felt really miserable. After lunch, when most of them had left the table, the others started talking about country neighbors.

“Of course,” said Mrs. Dennant, “there are the Foliots; but nobody calls on them.”

“Of course,” said Mrs. Dennant, “there are the Foliots; but nobody visits them.”

“Ah!” said the Connoisseur, “the Foliots—the Foliots—the people—er—who—quite so!”

“Ah!” said the Connoisseur, “the Foliots—the Foliots—the people—uh—exactly!”

“It's really distressin'. she looks so sweet ridin' about. Many people with worse stories get called on,” continued Mrs. Dennant, with that large frankness of intrusion upon doubtful subjects which may be made by certain people in a certain way, “but, after all, one couldn't ask them to meet anybody.”

“It's really upsetting. She looks so sweet riding around. Many other people with worse stories get chosen,” continued Mrs. Dennant, with that bold openness about sensitive topics that some people have in a particular manner, “but, in the end, you couldn't really ask them to meet anyone.”

“No,” the Connoisseur assented. “I used to know Foliot. Thousand pities. They say she was a very pretty woman.”

“No,” the Connoisseur agreed. “I used to know Foliot. What a shame. They say she was really attractive.”

“Oh, not pretty!” said Mrs. Dennant! “more interestin than pretty, I should say.”

“Oh, not pretty!” said Mrs. Dennant! “More interesting than pretty, I’d say.”

Shelton, who knew the lady slightly, noticed that they spoke of her as in the past. He did not look towards Antonia; for, though a little troubled at her presence while such a subject was discussed, he hated his conviction that her face, was as unruffled as though the Foliots had been a separate species. There was, in fact, a curiosity about her eyes, a faint impatience on her lips; she was rolling little crumbs of bread. Suddenly yawning, she muttered some remark, and rose. Shelton stopped her at the door.

Shelton, who knew the lady a bit, noticed that they talked about her as if she were from the past. He didn't look at Antonia because, though he felt uneasy about her being there while they discussed such a topic, he hated that her expression was completely calm, as if the Foliots were an entirely different species. There was a certain curiosity in her eyes and a slight impatience on her lips as she rolled tiny crumbs of bread. Suddenly yawning, she mumbled something and stood up. Shelton stopped her at the door.

“Where are you going?”

"Where are you headed?"

“For a walk.”

"Going for a walk."

“May n't I come?”.

"May I not come?"

She shook her head.

She declined.

“I 'm going to take Toddles.”

“I’m taking Toddles.”

Shelton held the door open, and went back to the table.

Shelton held the door open and went back to the table.

“Yes,” the Connoisseur said, sipping at his sherry, “I 'm afraid it's all over with young Foliot.”

“Yes,” the Connoisseur said, sipping his sherry, “I’m afraid it’s all over for young Foliot.”

“Such a pity!” murmured Mrs. Dennant, and her kindly face looked quite disturbed. “I've known him ever since he was a boy. Of course, I think he made a great mistake to bring her down here. Not even bein' able to get married makes it doubly awkward. Oh, I think he made a great mistake!”

“Such a shame!” Mrs. Dennant said softly, her kind face looking quite troubled. “I've known him since he was a boy. Of course, I believe he made a huge mistake bringing her down here. Not being able to get married makes it even more awkward. Oh, I really think he messed up!”

“Ah!” said the Connoisseur, “but d' you suppose that makes much difference? Even if What 's—his-name gave her a divorce, I don't think, don't you know, that—”

“Ah!” said the Connoisseur, “but do you think that makes much difference? Even if What's-his-name gave her a divorce, I don't think, you know, that—”

“Oh, it does! So many people would be inclined to look over it in time. But as it is it's hopeless, quite. So very awkward for people, too, meetin' them about. The Telfords and the Butterwicks—by the way, they're comin' here to dine to-night—live near them, don't you know.”

“Oh, it really does! So many people would eventually overlook it. But as it stands, it's completely hopeless. It's really awkward for people, too, running into them. The Telfords and the Butterwicks—by the way, they're coming here for dinner tonight—live nearby, you know.”

“Did you ever meet her before-er-before the flood?” the Connoisseur inquired; and his lips parting and unexpectedly revealing teeth gave him a shadowy resemblance to a goat.

“Did you ever meet her before—before the flood?” the Connoisseur asked, and as his lips parted, unexpectedly showing his teeth, he bore a faint resemblance to a goat.

“Yes; I did meet her once at the Branksomes'. I thought her quite a charmin' person.”

“Yes; I did meet her once at the Branksomes'. I thought she was a really charming person.”

“Poor fellow!” said the Connoisseur; “they tell me he was going to take the hounds.”

“Poor guy!” said the Connoisseur; “I heard he was planning to take the hounds.”

“And there are his delightful coverts, too. Algie often used to shoot there, and now they say he just has his brother down to shoot with him. It's really quite too melancholy! Did you know him, Dick?”

“And there are his lovely woods, too. Algie used to go shooting there often, and now they say he just has his brother over to shoot with him. It's really quite sad! Did you know him, Dick?”

“Foliot?” replied Shelton absently. “No; I never met him: I've seen her once or twice at Ascot.”

“Foliot?” Shelton replied distractedly. “No; I’ve never met him. I’ve seen her a couple of times at Ascot.”

Through the window he could see Antonia in her scarlet Tam-o'-shanter, swinging her stick, and he got up feigning unconcern. Just then Toddles came bounding up against his sister. They went off arm in arm. She had seen him at the window, yet she gave no friendly glance; Shelton felt more miserable than ever. He stepped out upon the drive. There was a lurid, gloomy canopy above; the elm-trees drooped their heavy blackish green, the wonted rustle of the aspen-tree was gone, even the rooks were silent. A store of force lay heavy on the heart of nature. He started pacing slowly up and down, his pride forbidding him to follow her, and presently sat down on an old stone seat that faced the road. He stayed a long time staring at the elms, asking himself what he had done and what he ought to do. And somehow he was frightened. A sense of loneliness was on him, so real, so painful, that he shivered in the sweltering heat. He was there, perhaps, an hour, alone, and saw nobody pass along the road. Then came the sound of horse's hoofs, and at the same time he heard a motor-car approaching from the opposite direction. The rider made appearance first, riding a grey horse with an Arab's high set head and tail. She was holding him with difficulty, for the whirr of the approaching car grew every moment louder. Shelton rose; the car flashed by. He saw the horse stagger in the gate-way, crushing its rider up against the gatepost.

Through the window, he saw Antonia in her red Tam-o'-shanter, swinging her stick, and he got up, pretending to be unfazed. Just then, Toddles came bouncing up beside his sister. They walked off arm in arm. She had noticed him at the window but didn’t offer a friendly glance; Shelton felt more miserable than ever. He stepped out onto the driveway. There was a dark, ominous sky overhead; the elm trees hung heavily in dark green, the usual rustle of the aspen was absent, and even the rooks were quiet. A weight of energy pressed down on nature’s heart. He started to pace slowly back and forth, his pride preventing him from following her, and eventually sat down on an old stone bench that faced the road. He sat there for a long time, staring at the elms, asking himself what he had done and what he should do. Somehow, he felt scared. A sense of loneliness settled on him, so real and painful that he shivered in the oppressive heat. He remained there, alone, for perhaps an hour, seeing no one pass by on the road. Then he heard the sound of horse's hooves, and at the same time, he noticed a motor vehicle approaching from the opposite direction. The rider appeared first, on a gray horse with an Arabian's high-set head and tail. She struggled to control it as the noise of the approaching car grew louder. Shelton got up; the car zoomed past. He saw the horse stumble in the gateway, knocking its rider against the gatepost.

He ran, but before he reached the gate the lady was on foot, holding the plunging horse's bridle.

He ran, but before he got to the gate, the woman was on foot, holding the struggling horse's bridle.

“Are you hurt?” cried Shelton breathlessly, and he, too, grabbed the bridle. “Those beastly cars!”

“Are you hurt?” Shelton shouted, out of breath, and he also grabbed the reins. “Those terrible cars!”

“I don't know,” she said. “Please don't; he won't let strangers touch him.”

“I’m not sure,” she said. “Please don’t; he won’t allow strangers to touch him.”

Shelton let go, and watched her coax the horse. She was rather tall, dressed in a grey habit, with a grey Russian cap upon her head, and he suddenly recognised the Mrs. Foliot whom they had been talking of at lunch.

Shelton let go and watched her encourage the horse. She was quite tall, wearing a grey outfit and a grey Russian hat, and he suddenly realized that she was the Mrs. Foliot they had been discussing at lunch.

“He 'll be quiet now,” she said, “if you would n't mind holding him a minute.”

“He’ll be quiet now,” she said, “if you wouldn’t mind holding him for a minute.”

She gave the reins to him, and leaned against the gate. She was very pale.

She handed him the reins and leaned against the gate. She looked very pale.

“I do hope he has n't hurt you,” Shelton said. He was quite close to her, well able to see her face—a curious face with high cheek-bones and a flatfish moulding, enigmatic, yet strangely passionate for all its listless pallor. Her smiling, tightened lips were pallid; pallid, too, her grey and deep-set eyes with greenish tints; above all, pale the ashy mass of hair coiled under her grey cap.

“I really hope he hasn't hurt you,” Shelton said. He was close enough to see her face clearly—a unique face with high cheekbones and a flat shape, mysterious yet oddly passionate despite its lifeless pale. Her tight-lipped smile was colorless; her gray, deep-set eyes had greenish tones; and above all, the ashy mass of hair was pale and coiled under her gray cap.

“Th-thanks!” she said; “I shall be all right directly. I'm sorry to have made a fuss.”

“Thanks!” she said; “I’ll be fine in a minute. I’m sorry for causing a scene.”

She bit her lips and smiled.

She bit her lip and smiled.

“I 'm sure you're hurt; do let me go for—” stammered Shelton. “I can easily get help.”

“I’m sure you’re hurt; just let me go for—” stammered Shelton. “I can easily get help.”

“Help!” she said, with a stony little laugh; “oh, no, thanks!”

“Help!” she said with a dry little laugh. “Oh, no, thanks!”

She left the gate, and crossed the road to where he held the horse. Shelton, to conceal embarrassment, looked at the horse's legs, and noticed that the grey was resting one of them. He ran his hand down.

She walked out of the gate and crossed the road to where he was holding the horse. Shelton, trying to hide his embarrassment, focused on the horse's legs and saw that the gray was resting one of them. He ran his hand down.

“I 'm afraid,” he said, “your horse has knocked his off knee; it's swelling.”

“I'm afraid,” he said, “your horse has injured his knee; it's swelling.”

She smiled again.

She smiled once more.

“Then we're both cripples.”

“Then we're both disabled.”

“He'll be lame when he gets cold. Would n't you like to put him in the stable here? I 'm sure you ought to drive home.”

“He’ll be lame when he gets cold. Wouldn't you want to put him in the stable here? I’m sure you should head home.”

“No, thanks; if I 'm able to ride him he can carry me. Give me a hand up.”

“No, thanks; if I can ride him, he can carry me. Help me get on.”

Her voice sounded as though something had offended her. Rising from inspection of the horse's leg, Shelton saw Antonia and Toddles standing by. They had come through a wicketgate leading from the fields.

Her voice seemed like something had upset her. Getting up from examining the horse's leg, Shelton noticed Antonia and Toddles nearby. They had entered through a small gate that connected to the fields.

The latter ran up to him at once.

The latter hurried over to him immediately.

“We saw it,” he whispered—“jolly smash-up. Can't I help?”

“We saw it,” he whispered—“what a wild crash. Can I help?”

“Hold his bridle,” answered Shelton, and he looked from one lady to the other.

“Hold his bridle,” Shelton replied, glancing from one lady to the other.

There are moments when the expression of a face fixes itself with painful clearness; to Shelton this was such a moment. Those two faces close together, under their coverings of scarlet and of grey, showed a contrast almost cruelly vivid. Antonia was flushed, her eyes had grown deep blue; her look of startled doubt had passed and left a question in her face.

There are moments when a person's expression becomes painfully clear; this was one of those moments for Shelton. The two faces close together, under their red and gray coverings, showed a contrast that was almost painfully vivid. Antonia was flushed, her eyes had turned a deep blue; the look of startled doubt had faded, leaving a question on her face.

“Would you like to come in and wait? We could send you home, in the brougham,” she said.

“Do you want to come in and wait? We can send you home in the carriage,” she said.

The lady called Mrs. Foliot stood, one arm across the crupper of her saddle, biting her lips and smiling still her enigmatic smile, and it was her face that stayed most vividly on Shelton's mind, its ashy hail, its pallor, and fixed, scornful eyes.

The woman named Mrs. Foliot stood with one arm resting on the back of her saddle, biting her lips and still wearing her mysterious smile. It was her face that remained most clearly in Shelton's memory, its ashen hue, its paleness, and those cold, scornful eyes.

“Oh, no, thanks! You're very kind.”

“Oh, no, thank you! That’s really nice of you.”

Out of Antonia's face the timid, doubting friendliness had fled, and was replaced by enmity. With a long, cold look at both of them she turned away. Mrs. Foliot gave a little laugh, and raised her foot for Shelton's help. He heard a hiss of pain as he swung her up, but when he looked at her she smiled.

Out of Antonia's face, the shy, uncertain friendliness had vanished and been replaced by hostility. With a long, icy stare at both of them, she turned away. Mrs. Foliot let out a small laugh and raised her foot for Shelton's assistance. He heard a sharp intake of breath as he lifted her up, but when he looked at her, she smiled.

“Anyway,” he said impatiently, “let me come and see you don't break down.”

“Anyway,” he said impatiently, “let me come and see that you don't fall apart.”

She shook her head. “It 's only two miles. I'm not made of sugar.”

She shook her head. “It’s only two miles. I’m not made of sugar.”

“Then I shall simply have to follow.”

“Then I guess I’ll just have to follow.”

She shrugged her shoulders, fixing her resolute eyes on him.

She shrugged her shoulders and focused her determined gaze on him.

“Would that boy like to come?” she asked.

“Does that boy want to come?” she asked.

Toddles left the horse's head.

Toddles got off the horse.

“By Jove!” he cried. “Would n't I just!”

“By gosh!” he exclaimed. “Of course I would!”

“Then,” she said, “I think that will be best. You 've been so kind.”

“Then,” she said, “I think that’s the best option. You’ve been really kind.”

She bowed, smiled inscrutably once more, touched the Arab with her whip, and started, Toddles trotting at her side.

She bowed, smiled mysteriously again, tapped the Arab with her whip, and set off, Toddles trotting beside her.

Shelton was left with Antonia underneath the elms. A sudden puff of tepid air blew in their faces, like a warning message from the heavy, purple heat clouds; low rumbling thunder travelled slowly from afar.

Shelton was left with Antonia under the elms. A sudden gust of warm air blew in their faces, like a warning from the thick, purple heat clouds; low rumbling thunder rolled slowly from a distance.

“We're going to have a storm,” he said.

“We're going to have a storm,” he said.

Antonia nodded. She was pale now, and her face still wore its cold look of offence.

Antonia nodded. She was pale now, and her face still had its cold expression of offense.

“I 've got a headache,” she said, “I shall go in and lie down.”

“I have a headache,” she said, “I’m going to go lie down.”

Shelton tried to speak, but something kept him silent—submission to what was coming, like the mute submission of the fields and birds to the menace of the storm.

Shelton tried to say something, but he couldn't—he felt compelled to remain silent, just like the fields and birds that were helpless against the approaching storm.

He watched her go, and went back to his seat. And the silence seemed to grow; the flowers ceased to exude their fragrance, numbed by the weighty air. All the long house behind him seemed asleep, deserted. No noise came forth, no laughter, the echo of no music, the ringing of no bell; the heat had wrapped it round with drowsiness. And the silence added to the solitude within him. What an unlucky chance, that woman's accident! Designed by Providence to put Antonia further from him than before! Why was not the world composed of the immaculate alone? He started pacing up and down, tortured by a dreadful heartache.

He watched her leave and returned to his seat. The silence felt heavier; the flowers stopped giving off their scent, stifled by the thick air. The entire house behind him seemed asleep, empty. No sounds emerged, no laughter, no echoes of music, no bells ringing; the heat had wrapped everything in a state of drowsiness. The silence deepened the loneliness inside him. What a terrible coincidence, that woman's misfortune! It was like fate had pushed Antonia even further away from him! Why couldn’t the world be made up of only the pure and perfect? He began to pace back and forth, tormented by an awful heartache.

“I must get rid of this,” he thought. “I 'll go for a good tramp, and chance the storm.”

“I need to get rid of this,” he thought. “I’ll take a long walk and brave the storm.”

Leaving the drive he ran on Toddles, returning in the highest spirits.

Leaving the drive, he took off on Toddles, coming back in the best mood.

“I saw her home,” he crowed. “I say, what a ripper, isn't she? She 'll be as lame as a tree to-morrow; so will the gee. Jolly hot!”

“I saw her place,” he bragged. “I mean, what a gem, right? She'll be out of commission tomorrow; same goes for the horse. Super hot!”

This meeting showed Shelton that he had been an hour on the stone seat; he had thought it some ten minutes, and the discovery alarmed him. It seemed to bring the import of his miserable fear right home to him. He started with a swinging stride, keeping his eyes fixed on the road, the perspiration streaming down his face.

This meeting made Shelton realize that he had spent an hour on the stone seat; he had thought it was only about ten minutes, and the realization shook him. It felt like a jolt of his deep-seated fear. He took off with a brisk pace, his eyes locked on the road, sweat pouring down his face.





CHAPTER XXXI

THE STORM

It was seven and more when Shelton returned, from his walk; a few heat drops had splashed the leaves, but the storm had not yet broken. In brooding silence the world seemed pent beneath the purple firmament.

It was past seven when Shelton came back from his walk; a few raindrops had splattered the leaves, but the storm still hadn't hit. In a tense silence, the world felt trapped under the purple sky.

By rapid walking in the heat Shelton had got rid of his despondency. He felt like one who is to see his mistress after long estrangement. He, bathed, and, straightening his tie-ends, stood smiling at the glass. His fear, unhappiness, and doubts seemed like an evil dream; how much worse off would he not have been, had it all been true?

By walking quickly in the heat, Shelton shook off his gloom. He felt like someone getting ready to see his partner after a long time apart. He had showered, and as he adjusted his tie, he stood smiling at his reflection. His fear, sadness, and doubts felt like a bad dream; how much worse would he have been if it had all been real?

It was dinner-party night, and when he reached the drawing-room the guests were there already, chattering of the coming storm. Antonia was not yet down, and Shelton stood by the piano waiting for her entry. Red faces, spotless shirt-fronts, white arms; and freshly-twisted hair were all around him. Some one handed him a clove carnation, and, as he held it to his nose, Antonia came in, breathless, as though she had rushed down-stairs, Her cheeks were pale no longer; her hand kept stealing to her throat. The flames of the coming storm seemed to have caught fire within her, to be scorching her in her white frock; she passed him close, and her fragrance whipped his senses.

It was dinner-party night, and when he got to the drawing room, the guests were already there, chatting about the approaching storm. Antonia wasn’t down yet, and Shelton stood by the piano waiting for her to arrive. There were red faces, spotless shirt fronts, bare white arms, and freshly styled hair all around him. Someone handed him a clove carnation, and as he held it to his nose, Antonia entered, breathless, as if she had hurried down the stairs. Her cheeks were no longer pale; her hand kept moving to her throat. The energy of the approaching storm seemed to ignite something within her, scorching her in her white dress; she brushed past him, and her fragrance overwhelmed his senses.

She had never seemed to him so lovely.

She had never looked so beautiful to him.

Never again will Shelton breathe the perfume of melons and pineapples without a strange emotion. From where he sat at dinner he could not see Antonia, but amidst the chattering of voices, the clink of glass and silver, the sights and sounds and scents of feasting, he thought how he would go to her and say that nothing mattered but her love. He drank the frosted, pale-gold liquid of champagne as if it had been water.

Never again will Shelton smell the scent of melons and pineapples without feeling a weird emotion. From where he was sitting at dinner, he couldn't see Antonia, but amidst the chatter of voices, the clinking of glasses and silverware, and the sights, sounds, and smells of the feast, he thought about how he would go to her and say that nothing mattered but her love. He drank the chilled, pale-gold champagne as if it were water.

The windows stood wide open in the heat; the garden lay in thick, soft shadow, where the pitchy shapes of trees could be discerned. There was not a breath of air to fan the candle-flames above the flowers; but two large moths, fearful of the heavy dark, flew in and wheeled between the lights over the diners' heads. One fell scorched into a dish of fruit, and was removed; the other, eluding all the swish of napkins and the efforts of the footmen, continued to make soft, fluttering rushes till Shelton rose and caught it in his hand. He took it to the window and threw it out into the darkness, and he noticed that the air was thick and tepid to his face. At a sign from Mr. Dennant the muslin curtains were then drawn across the windows, and in gratitude, perhaps, for this protection, this filmy barrier between them and the muffled threats of Nature, everyone broke out in talk. It was such a night as comes in summer after perfect weather, frightening in its heat, and silence, which was broken by the distant thunder travelling low along the ground like the muttering of all dark places on the earth—such a night as seems, by very breathlessness, to smother life, and with its fateful threats to justify man's cowardice.

The windows were wide open in the heat; the garden was in deep, soft shadow, where you could make out the dark shapes of trees. There wasn't a breath of air to cool the candle flames above the flowers, but two large moths, scared of the heavy darkness, flew around the lights over the diners' heads. One fell, burned, into a dish of fruit and was taken away; the other, escaping the swish of napkins and the attempts of the footmen, continued to flutter and dart until Shelton stood up and caught it in his hand. He took it to the window and threw it out into the dark, noticing that the air felt thick and warm against his face. At a nod from Mr. Dennant, the muslin curtains were then pulled across the windows, and perhaps out of gratitude for this protection, this thin barrier between them and the muffled threats of Nature, everyone started talking. It was a night that comes in summer after perfect weather, unsettling in its heat and silence, broken only by distant thunder rumbling low along the ground like the murmurs of all dark places on the earth—such a night that seems to suffocate life with its very breathlessness, making man's fear feel justified.

The ladies rose at last. The circle of the rosewood dining-table, which had no cloth, strewn with flowers and silver gilt, had a likeness to some autumn pool whose brown depths of oily water gleam under the sunset with red and yellow leaves; above it the smoke of cigarettes was clinging, like a mist to water when the sun goes down. Shelton became involved in argument with his neighbour on the English character.

The women finally got up. The round rosewood dining table, which had no tablecloth and was covered with flowers and silver, resembled an autumn pond where the brown, oily water shines under the sunset with red and yellow leaves. Above it, cigarette smoke hung in the air like a mist over water at sunset. Shelton got into a debate with his neighbor about the English character.

“In England we've mislaid the recipe of life,” he said. “Pleasure's a lost art. We don't get drunk, we're ashamed of love, and as to beauty, we've lost the eye for' it. In exchange we have got money, but what 's the good of money when we don't know how to spend it?” Excited by his neighbour's smile, he added: “As to thought, we think so much of what our neighbours think that we never think at all.... Have you ever watched a foreigner when he's listening to an Englishman? We 're in the habit of despising foreigners; the scorn we have for them is nothing to the scorn they have for us. And they are right! Look at our taste! What is the good of owning riches if we don't know how to use them?”

“In England, we've lost the recipe for life,” he said. “Pleasure is a forgotten art. We don't get drunk, we're embarrassed by love, and when it comes to beauty, we've lost the ability to appreciate it. In return, we have money, but what's the point of money if we don't know how to spend it?” Energized by his neighbor's smile, he continued: “As for thinking, we care so much about what our neighbors think that we hardly think for ourselves at all... Have you ever seen a foreigner when they're listening to an Englishman? We tend to look down on foreigners; the disdain we have for them is nothing compared to the disdain they have for us. And they're right! Look at our taste! What good is it to own wealth if we don’t know how to use it?”

“That's rather new to me,” his neighbour said. “There may be something in it.... Did you see that case in the papers the other day of old Hornblower, who left the 1820 port that fetched a guinea a bottle? When the purchaser—poor feller!—came to drink it he found eleven bottles out of twelve completely ullaged—ha! ha! Well, there's nothing wrong with this”; and he drained his glass.

“That's pretty new to me,” his neighbor said. “There might be something to it.... Did you see that article in the papers the other day about old Hornblower, who sold the 1820 port that went for a guinea a bottle? When the buyer—poor guy!—went to drink it, he found eleven out of twelve bottles completely empty—ha! ha! Well, there's nothing wrong with this”; and he finished his glass.

“No,” answered Shelton.

“No,” Shelton replied.

When they rose to join the ladies, he slipped out on the lawn.

When they got up to join the women, he sneaked out onto the lawn.

At once he was enveloped in a bath of heat. A heavy odour, sensual, sinister, was in the air, as from a sudden flowering of amorous shrubs. He stood and drank it in with greedy nostrils. Putting his hand down, he felt the grass; it was dry, and charged with electricity. Then he saw, pale and candescent in the blackness, three or four great lilies, the authors of that perfume. The blossoms seemed to be rising at him through the darkness; as though putting up their faces to be kissed. He straightened himself abruptly and went in.

Suddenly, he was surrounded by a wave of heat. A heavy, sensual, and slightly dark scent filled the air, like the sudden bloom of romantic plants. He stood there, inhaling it with eager breaths. As he reached down, he felt the grass; it was dry and buzzing with energy. Then he noticed, pale and glowing in the darkness, three or four large lilies, the source of that fragrance. The flowers appeared to be reaching out to him through the shadows, as if inviting him to kiss them. He straightened up suddenly and stepped inside.

The guests were leaving when Shelton, who was watching; saw Antonia slip through the drawing-room window. He could follow the white glimmer of her frock across the lawn, but lost it in the shadow of the trees; casting a hasty look to see that he was not observed, he too slipped out. The blackness and the heat were stifling he took great breaths of it as if it were the purest mountain air, and, treading softly on the grass, stole on towards the holm oak. His lips were dry, his heart beat painfully. The mutter of the distant thunder had quite ceased; waves of hot air came wheeling in his face, and in their midst a sudden rush of cold. He thought, “The storm is coming now!” and stole on towards the tree. She was lying in the hammock, her figure a white blur in, the heart of the tree's shadow, rocking gently to a little creaking of the branch. Shelton held his breath; she had not heard him. He crept up close behind the trunk till he stood in touch of her. “I mustn't startle her,” he thought. “Antonia!”

The guests were leaving when Shelton, who was watching, saw Antonia slip through the drawing-room window. He could follow the white glimmer of her dress across the lawn but lost it in the shadows of the trees. Casting a quick glance to make sure he wasn’t noticed, he also slipped out. The darkness and the heat were suffocating; he took deep breaths as if it were the freshest mountain air and, walking softly on the grass, made his way toward the holm oak. His lips were dry, and his heart was racing. The distant rumble of thunder had completely faded; waves of hot air blew in his face, followed by a sudden rush of cold. He thought, “The storm is coming now!” and moved closer to the tree. She was lying in the hammock, her figure a white blur in the center of the tree's shadow, swaying gently with a little creak of the branch. Shelton held his breath; she hadn’t heard him. He crept up close behind the trunk until he was right next to her. “I mustn’t startle her,” he thought. “Antonia!”

There was a faint stir in the hammock, but no answer. He stood over her, but even then he could not see her face; he only, had a sense of something breathing and alive within a yard of him—of something warm and soft. He whispered again, “Antonia!” but again there came no answer, and a sort of fear and frenzy seized on him. He could no longer hear her breathe; the creaking of the branch had ceased. What was passing in that silent, living creature there so close? And then he heard again the sound of breathing, quick and scared, like the fluttering of a bird; in a moment he was staring in the dark at an empty hammock.

There was a slight movement in the hammock, but no response. He stood over her, yet he still couldn’t see her face; all he sensed was something breathing and alive just a yard away—something warm and soft. He whispered again, "Antonia!" but once more, there was no reply, and a wave of fear and panic took hold of him. He could no longer hear her breathing; the creaking of the branch had stopped. What was happening with that silent, living being so close by? Then he heard the sound of breathing again, quick and scared, like the fluttering of a bird; in an instant, he was staring into the darkness at an empty hammock.

He stayed beside the empty hammock till he could bear uncertainty no longer. But as he crossed the lawn the sky was rent from end to end by jagged lightning, rain spattered him from head to foot, and with a deafening crack the thunder broke.

He stayed next to the empty hammock until he couldn't handle the uncertainty any longer. But as he crossed the lawn, the sky was split in two by jagged lightning, rain soaked him completely, and with a deafening crack, the thunder roared.

He sought the smoking-room, but, recoiling at the door, went to his own room, and threw himself down on the bed. The thunder groaned and sputtered in long volleys; the lightning showed him the shapes of things within the room, with a weird distinctness that rent from them all likeness to the purpose they were made for, bereaved them of utility, of their matter-of-factness, presented them as skeletons, abstractions, with indecency in their appearance, like the naked nerves and sinews of a leg preserved in, spirit. The sound of the rain against the house stunned his power of thinking, he rose to shut his windows; then, returning to his bed, threw himself down again. He stayed there till the storm was over, in a kind of stupor; but when the boom of the retreating thunder grew every minute less distinct, he rose. Then for the first time he saw something white close by the door.

He looked for the smoking room, but after hesitating at the door, he went back to his own room and collapsed onto the bed. The thunder rumbled and cracked in long bursts; the lightning illuminated the shapes in the room with an eerie clarity that stripped them of their original purpose, leaving them devoid of usefulness and practicality, appearing instead as skeletons and abstractions, indecent in their visibility, like the exposed nerves and muscles of a leg preserved in alcohol. The sound of the rain hitting the house overwhelmed his ability to think, so he got up to close the windows; then, after returning to his bed, he threw himself down again. He remained there in a sort of daze until the storm passed, but as the rumble of the retreating thunder grew fainter, he got up. That’s when he noticed something white near the door.

It was a note:

It was a message:

I have made a mistake. Please forgive me, and go away.—ANTONIA.

I messed up. Please forgive me and leave me alone.—ANTONIA.





CHAPTER XXXII

WILDERNESS

When he had read this note, Shelton put it down beside his sleeve-links on his dressing table, stared in the mirror at himself, and laughed. But his lips soon stopped him laughing; he threw himself upon his bed and pressed his face into the pillows. He lay there half-dressed throughout the night, and when he rose, soon after dawn, he had not made his mind up what to do. The only thing he knew for certain was that he must not meet Antonia.

When he finished reading the note, Shelton set it down next to his cufflinks on the dresser, looked at himself in the mirror, and laughed. But his smile quickly faded; he threw himself onto the bed and buried his face in the pillows. He lay there half-dressed all night, and when he got up just after dawn, he still hadn’t decided what to do. The only thing he was sure of was that he couldn’t meet Antonia.

At last he penned the following:

At last, he wrote the following:

I have had a sleepless night with toothache, and think it best to run up to the dentist at once. If a tooth must come out, the sooner the better.

I had a sleepless night with a toothache and think it’s best to head to the dentist right away. If a tooth needs to be pulled, the sooner, the better.

He addressed it to Mrs. Dennant, and left it on his table. After doing this he threw himself once more upon his bed, and this time fell into a doze.

He addressed it to Mrs. Dennant and left it on his table. After that, he threw himself back on his bed and this time drifted off to sleep.

He woke with a start, dressed, and let himself quietly out. The likeness of his going to that of Ferrand struck him. “Both outcasts now,” he thought.

He woke up suddenly, got dressed, and quietly stepped outside. The similarity between his departure and Ferrand's hit him. “Both outcasts now,” he thought.

He tramped on till noon without knowing or caring where he went; then, entering a field, threw himself down under the hedge, and fell asleep.

He walked on until noon without knowing or caring where he was going; then, entering a field, he threw himself down under the hedge and fell asleep.

He was awakened by a whirr. A covey of partridges, with wings glistening in the sun, were straggling out across the adjoining field of mustard. They soon settled in the old-maidish way of partridges, and began to call upon each other.

He was woken up by a buzzing sound. A group of partridges, with their wings shining in the sun, were wandering across the nearby mustard field. They quickly settled down in the typical way partridges do and started calling out to one another.

Some cattle had approached him in his sleep, and a beautiful bay cow, with her head turned sideways, was snuffing at him gently, exhaling her peculiar sweetness. She was as fine in legs and coat as any race-horse. She dribbled at the corners of her black, moist lips; her eye was soft and cynical. Breathing the vague sweetness of the mustard-field, rubbing dry grasp-stalks in his fingers, Shelton had a moment's happiness—the happiness of sun and sky, of the eternal quiet, and untold movements of the fields. Why could not human beings let their troubles be as this cow left the flies that clung about her eyes? He dozed again, and woke up with a laugh, for this was what he dreamed:

Some cattle had come up to him while he was sleeping, and a beautiful bay cow, with her head tilted to the side, was gently sniffing at him, giving off her unique sweetness. She had legs and a coat as fine as any racehorse. Drool dripped from the corners of her black, moist lips; her eye was soft and somewhat cynical. Breathing in the faint sweetness of the mustard field and rubbing the dry stalks between his fingers, Shelton experienced a moment of happiness—the happiness of sunshine and sky, of eternal calm, and the countless movements of the fields. Why couldn't people just let their problems drift away like this cow did with the flies around her eyes? He dozed off again and woke up laughing, because this was what he dreamed:

He fancied he was in a room, at once the hall and drawing-room of some country house. In the centre of this room a lady stood, who was looking in a hand-glass at her face. Beyond a door or window could be seen a garden with a row of statues, and through this door people passed without apparent object.

He imagined he was in a room that served as both the hall and the drawing-room of a country house. In the center of this room stood a woman who was checking her appearance in a handheld mirror. Beyond a door or window, a garden with a line of statues was visible, and people passed through this door seemingly without purpose.

Suddenly Shelton saw his mother advancing to the lady with the hand-glass, whom now he recognised as Mrs. Foliot. But, as he looked, his mother changed to Mrs. Dennant, and began speaking in a voice that was a sort of abstract of refinement. “Je fais de la philosophic,” it said; “I take the individual for what she's worth. I do not condemn; above all, one must have spirit!” The lady with the mirror continued looking in the glass; and, though he could not see her face, he could see its image-pale, with greenish eyes, and a smile like scorn itself. Then, by a swift transition, he was walking in the garden talking to Mrs. Dennant.

Suddenly, Shelton saw his mother approaching the woman with the hand mirror, who he now recognized as Mrs. Foliot. But as he watched, his mother transformed into Mrs. Dennant and began speaking in a voice that was a kind of essence of refinement. “I do philosophy,” it said; “I value the individual for what they are. I don't judge; above all, one must have spirit!” The woman with the mirror kept gazing into the glass, and though he couldn't see her face, he could see its reflection—pale, with greenish eyes, and a smile that seemed to embody scorn. Then, in a quick shift, he found himself walking in the garden, talking to Mrs. Dennant.

It was from this talk that he awoke with laughter. “But,” she had been saying, “Dick, I've always been accustomed to believe what I was told. It was so unkind of her to scorn me just because I happen to be second-hand.” And her voice awakened Shelton's pity; it was like a frightened child's. “I don't know what I shall do if I have to form opinions for myself. I was n't brought up to it. I 've always had them nice and secondhand. How am I to go to work? One must believe what other people do; not that I think much of other people, but, you do know what it is—one feels so much more comfortable,” and her skirts rustled. “But, Dick, whatever happens”—her voice entreated—“do let Antonia get her judgments secondhand. Never mind for me—if I must form opinions for myself, I must—but don't let her; any old opinions so long as they are old. It 's dreadful to have to think out new ones for oneself.” And he awoke. His dream had had in it the element called Art, for, in its gross absurdity, Mrs. Dennant had said things that showed her soul more fully than anything she would have said in life.

It was from this conversation that he woke up laughing. “But,” she had been saying, “Dick, I've always believed what I was told. It was so unkind of her to look down on me just because I happen to be second-hand.” Her voice made Shelton feel pity; it was like a scared child's. “I don’t know what I’ll do if I have to form my own opinions. I wasn’t raised to do that. I’ve always had nice, secondhand ones. How am I supposed to go about it? You have to believe what other people do; not that I think highly of other people, but you know how it is—one feels so much more comfortable,” and her skirts rustled. “But, Dick, whatever happens”—her voice pleaded—“please let Antonia get her opinions secondhand too. Never mind me—if I have to form my own opinions, I will—but don’t let her; any old opinions as long as they’re old. It’s awful to have to come up with new ones for yourself.” And he woke up. His dream had contained something called Art, because, in its sheer absurdity, Mrs. Dennant had expressed things that revealed her soul more completely than anything she would have said in real life.

“No,” said a voice quite close, behind the hedge, “not many Frenchmen, thank the Lord! A few coveys of Hungarians over from the Duke's. Sir James, some pie?”

“No,” said a voice nearby, behind the hedge, “not many Frenchmen, thank God! Just a few groups of Hungarians visiting from the Duke's. Sir James, would you like some pie?”

Shelton raised himself with drowsy curiosity—still half asleep—and applied his face to a gap in the high, thick osiers of the hedge. Four men were seated on camp-stools round a folding-table, on which was a pie and other things to eat. A game-cart, well-adorned with birds and hares, stood at a short distance; the tails of some dogs were seen moving humbly, and a valet opening bottles. Shelton had forgotten that it was “the first.” The host was a soldierly and freckled man; an older man sat next him, square-jawed, with an absent-looking eye and sharpened nose; next him, again, there was a bearded person whom they seemed to call the Commodore; in the fourth, to his alarm, Shelton recognised the gentleman called Mabbey. It was really no matter for surprise to meet him miles from his own place, for he was one of those who wander with a valet and two guns from the twelfth of August to the end of January, and are then supposed to go to Monte Carlo or to sleep until the twelfth of August comes again.

Shelton lifted himself up with sleepy curiosity—still partly asleep—and pressed his face against a gap in the tall, thick willows of the hedge. Four men were sitting on camp stools around a folding table that had a pie and some other food on it. A game cart, decorated with birds and hares, was nearby; the tails of a few dogs were seen wagging humbly, and a valet was opening bottles. Shelton had forgotten that it was “the first.” The host was a soldierly man with freckles; an older man sat next to him, with a square jaw, an absent look in his eye, and a sharp nose; next to him again was a bearded guy they seemed to call the Commodore; and in the fourth chair, to his shock, Shelton recognized the man named Mabbey. It wasn’t really surprising to see him miles away from his own place, since he was one of those who roam around with a valet and two guns from August 12 to the end of January, and are then supposed to head to Monte Carlo or just sleep until August 12 comes around again.

He was speaking.

He was talking.

“Did you hear what a bag we made on the twelfth, Sir James?”

“Did you hear what a mess we caused on the twelfth, Sir James?”

“Ah! yes; what was that? Have you sold your bay horse, Glennie?”

“Ah! Yes, what was that? Did you sell your bay horse, Glennie?”

Shelton had not decided whether or no to sneak away, when the Commodore's thick voice began:

Shelton hadn't made up his mind about sneaking away when the Commodore's deep voice started:

“My man tellsh me that Mrs. Foliot—haw—has lamed her Arab. Does she mean to come out cubbing?”

“My guy tells me that Mrs. Foliot—uh—has injured her Arab. Is she planning to come out cubbing?”

Shelton observed the smile that came on all their faces. “Foliot 's paying for his good time now; what a donkey to get caught!” it seemed to say. He turned his back and shut his eyes.

Shelton noticed the smiles on all their faces. “Foliot's paying for his good time now; what a fool to get caught!” it seemed to say. He turned his back and closed his eyes.

“Cubbing?” replied Glennie; “hardly.”

"Cubbing?" Glennie replied; "not really."

“Never could shee anything wonderful in her looks,” went on the Commodore; “so quiet, you never knew that she was in the room. I remember sayin' to her once, 'Mrs. Lutheran, now what do you like besht in all the world?' and what do you think she answered? 'Music!' Haw!”

“Never could she see anything remarkable in her appearance,” continued the Commodore; “so quiet, you never realized she was in the room. I remember asking her once, 'Mrs. Lutheran, what do you like best in the whole world?' and guess what she answered? 'Music!' Haw!”

The voice of Mabbey said:

Mabbey's voice said:

“He was always a dark horse, Foliot: It 's always the dark horses that get let in for this kind of thing”; and there was a sound as though he licked his lips.

“He was always an underdog, Foliot: It’s always the underdogs that end up getting involved in this kind of thing”; and there was a sound like he was licking his lips.

“They say,” said the voice of the host, “he never gives you back a greeting now. Queer fish; they say that she's devoted to him.”

“They say,” said the voice of the host, “he never responds to greetings anymore. Strange guy; they say she’s really into him.”

Coming so closely on his meeting with this lady, and on the dream from which he had awakened, this conversation mesmerised the listener behind the hedge.

Coming so soon after his meeting with this woman and the dream he had just woken up from, this conversation fascinated the listener behind the hedge.

“If he gives up his huntin' and his shootin', I don't see what the deuce he 'll do; he's resigned his clubs; as to his chance of Parliament—” said the voice of Mabbey.

“If he gives up his hunting and shooting, I don’t see what on earth he’ll do; he’s given up his clubs; as for his chances of getting into Parliament—” said Mabbey’s voice.

“Thousand pities,” said Sir James; “still, he knew what to expect.”

“Such a shame,” said Sir James; “but he knew what was coming.”

“Very queer fellows, those Foliots,” said the Commodore. “There was his father: he 'd always rather talk to any scarecrow he came across than to you or me. Wonder what he'll do with all his horses; I should like that chestnut of his.”

“Very strange guys, those Foliots,” said the Commodore. “There was his dad: he’d always prefer chatting with any random scarecrow he met instead of talking to you or me. I wonder what he’ll do with all his horses; I’d like to have that chestnut of his.”

“You can't tell what a fellow 'll do,” said the voice of Mabbey—“take to drink or writin' books. Old Charlie Wayne came to gazin' at stars, and twice a week he used to go and paddle round in Whitechapel, teachin' pothooks—”

“You can't predict what someone will do,” said Mabbey’s voice. “They might turn to drinking or writing books. Old Charlie Wayne ended up staring at the stars, and twice a week he used to paddle around in Whitechapel, teaching the basics of writing—”

“Glennie,” said Sir James, “what 's become of Smollett, your old keeper?”

“Glennie,” said Sir James, “what happened to Smollett, your old keeper?”

“Obliged to get rid of him.” Shelton tried again to close his ears, but again he listened. “Getting a bit too old; lost me a lot of eggs last season.”

“Had to get rid of him.” Shelton tried again to block out the noise, but once more he listened. “Getting a bit too old; cost me a lot of eggs last season.”

“Ah!” said the Commodore, “when they oncesh begin to lose eggsh—”

“Ah!” said the Commodore, “when they once begin to lose eggs—”

“As a matter of fact, his son—you remember him, Sir James, he used to load for you?—got a girl into trouble; when her people gave her the chuck old Smollet took her in; beastly scandal it made, too. The girl refused to marry Smollett, and old Smollett backed her up. Naturally, the parson and the village cut up rough; my wife offered to get her into one of those reformatory what-d' you-call-'.ms, but the old fellow said she should n't go if she did n't want to. Bad business altogether; put him quite off his stroke. I only got five hundred pheasants last year instead of eight.”

“As a matter of fact, his son—you remember him, Sir James, he used to load for you?—got a girl pregnant; when her family kicked her out, old Smollett took her in; it caused a huge scandal, too. The girl refused to marry Smollett, and old Smollett supported her. Naturally, the parson and the village were furious; my wife offered to get her into one of those reformatory things, but the old guy said she shouldn't go if she didn’t want to. It was a really messy situation; it threw him completely off his game. I only shot five hundred pheasants last year instead of eight.”

There was a silence. Shelton again peeped through the hedge. All were eating pie.

There was silence. Shelton peeked through the hedge again. Everyone was eating pie.

“In Warwickshire,” said the Commodore, “they always marry—haw—and live reshpectable ever after.”

“In Warwickshire,” said the Commodore, “they always get married—and live respectfully ever after.”

“Quite so,” remarked the host; “it was a bit too thick, her refusing to marry him. She said he took advantage of her.”

“Exactly,” said the host; “it was a bit much for her to refuse to marry him. She claimed he took advantage of her.”

“She's sorry by this time,” said Sir James; “lucky escape for young Smollett. Queer, the obstinacy of some of these old fellows!”

"She's sorry by now," said Sir James; "lucky break for young Smollett. It's strange, the stubbornness of some of these old guys!"

“What are we doing after lunch?” asked the Commodore.

“What are we doing after lunch?” asked the Commodore.

“The next field,” said the host, “is pasture. We line up along the hedge, and drive that mustard towards the roots; there ought to be a good few birds.”

“The next field,” said the host, “is pasture. We’ll line up along the hedge and push that mustard toward the roots; there should be a decent number of birds.”

“Shelton rose, and, crouching, stole softly to the gate:

“Shelton stood up, crouched down, and quietly made his way to the gate:

“On the twelfth, shootin' in two parties,” followed the voice of Mabbey from the distance.

“On the twelfth, shooting in two groups,” called out Mabbey's voice from a distance.

Whether from his walk or from his sleepless night, Shelton seemed to ache in every limb; but he continued his tramp along the road. He was no nearer to deciding what to do. It was late in the afternoon when he reached Maidenhead, and, after breaking fast, got into a London train and went to sleep. At ten o'clock that evening he walked into St. James's Park and there sat down.

Whether from his walk or from his sleepless night, Shelton seemed to ache in every limb; but he continued his stroll along the road. He was no closer to deciding what to do. It was late in the afternoon when he reached Maidenhead, and after grabbing a bite to eat, he got on a London train and fell asleep. At ten o'clock that evening, he walked into St. James's Park and sat down there.

The lamplight dappled through the tired foliage on to these benches which have rested many vagrants. Darkness has ceased to be the lawful cloak of the unhappy; but Mother Night was soft and moonless, and man had not despoiled her of her comfort, quite.

The lamplight filtered through the weary leaves onto these benches that have hosted many wanderers. Darkness is no longer the rightful cover for the unhappy, but Mother Night was gentle and without moonlight, and humanity hadn’t completely stripped her of her comfort.

Shelton was not alone upon the seat, for at the far end was sitting a young girl with a red, round, sullen face; and beyond, and further still, were dim benches and dim figures sitting on them, as though life's institutions had shot them out in an endless line of rubbish.

Shelton wasn't sitting alone; at the far end was a young girl with a round, red, gloomy face. Further back, there were shadowy benches and indistinct figures sitting on them, as if life's institutions had spat them out in an endless stream of trash.

“Ah!” thought Shelton, in the dreamy way of tired people; “the institutions are all right; it's the spirit that's all—”

“Ah!” thought Shelton, in the dreamy way of tired people; “the institutions are fine; it’s the spirit that matters—”

“Wrong?” said a voice behind him; “why, of course! You've taken the wrong turn, old man.”

“Wrong?” said a voice behind him. “Of course! You've taken the wrong turn, man.”

He saw a policeman, with a red face shining through the darkness, talking to a strange old figure like some aged and dishevelled bird.

He saw a police officer, with a flushed face glowing in the dark, talking to a strange old figure that looked like a worn-out bird.

“Thank you, constable,” the old man said, “as I've come wrong I'll take a rest.” Chewing his gums, he seemed to fear to take the liberty of sitting down.

“Thanks, officer,” the old man said, “since I’ve come the wrong way, I’ll take a break.” Chewing his gums, he looked hesitant to take the liberty of sitting down.

Shelton made room, and the old fellow took the vacant place.

Shelton cleared some space, and the old man sat down in the empty spot.

“You'll excuse me, sir, I'm sure,” he said in shaky tones, and snatching at his battered hat; “I see you was a gentleman”—and lovingly he dwelt upon the word—“would n't disturb you for the world. I'm not used to being out at night, and the seats do get so full. Old age must lean on something; you'll excuse me, sir, I 'm sure.”

“You'll forgive me, sir, I’m sure,” he said in unsteady tones, as he grabbed his worn-out hat. “I can see you’re a gentleman”—and he lingered on the word affectionately—“I wouldn’t want to bother you for anything. I’m not used to being out at night, and the seats do get so crowded. Old age has to lean on something; you’ll forgive me, sir, I’m sure.”

“Of course,” said Shelton gently.

"Sure," said Shelton gently.

“I'm a respectable old man, really,” said his neighbour; “I never took a liberty in my life. But at my age, sir, you get nervous; standin' about the streets as I been this last week, an' sleepin' in them doss-houses—Oh, they're dreadful rough places—a dreadful rough lot there! Yes,” the old man said again, as Shelton turned to look at him, struck by the real self-pity in his voice, “dreadful rough places!”

“I'm a respectable old man, really,” said his neighbor; “I’ve never acted inappropriately in my life. But at my age, sir, you start to get anxious; hanging around the streets like I have this past week, and sleeping in those homeless shelters—Oh, they're terrible places—a really rough crowd there! Yes,” the old man said again, as Shelton turned to look at him, moved by the genuine self-pity in his voice, “really rough places!”

A movement of his head, which grew on a lean, plucked neck like that of an old fowl, had brought his face into the light. It was long, and run to seed, and had a large, red nose; its thin, colourless lips were twisted sideways and apart, showing his semi-toothless mouth; and his eyes had that aged look of eyes in which all colour runs into a thin rim round the iris; and over them kept coming films like the films over parrots' eyes. He was, or should have been, clean-shaven. His hair—for he had taken off his hat was thick and lank, of dusty colour, as far as could be seen, without a speck of grey, and parted very beautifully just about the middle.

A movement of his head, which sat on a thin, hairless neck like that of an old bird, brought his face into the light. It was long and worn, with a big, red nose; his thin, pale lips were twisted to the side, revealing his mostly toothless mouth; and his eyes had that worn look of eyes where all the color has faded to a thin ring around the iris; and they were constantly clouded like the eyes of parrots. He was, or should have been, clean-shaven. His hair—since he had removed his hat—was thick and straight, a dusty color, as far as could be seen, with not a hint of gray, and it was beautifully parted right down the middle.

“I can put up with that,” he said again. “I never interferes with nobody, and nobody don't interfere with me; but what frightens me”—his voice grew steady, as if too terrified to shake, “is never knowin' day to day what 's to become of yer. Oh, that 'a dreadful, that is!”

“I can deal with that,” he said again. “I never interfere with anyone, and no one interferes with me; but what scares me”—his voice became steady, as if too afraid to tremble—“is never knowing day to day what’s going to happen to you. Oh, that’s dreadful, it is!”

“It must be,” answered Shelton.

"It has to be," answered Shelton.

“Ah! it is,” the old man said; “and the winter cumin' on. I never was much used to open air, bein' in domestic service all my life; but I don't mind that so long as I can see my way to earn a livin'. Well, thank God! I've got a job at last”; and his voice grew cheerful suddenly. “Sellin' papers is not what I been accustomed to; but the Westminister, they tell me that's one of the most respectable of the evenin' papers—in fact, I know it is. So now I'm sure to get on; I try hard.”

“Ah! it is,” the old man said; “and winter is coming. I’ve never really been used to the outdoors, having worked in domestic service all my life; but I don't mind that as long as I can see my way to earn a living. Well, thank God! I've finally got a job”; and his voice suddenly became cheerful. “Selling papers isn’t what I’m used to; but the Westminster, they tell me that’s one of the most respectable evening papers—in fact, I know it is. So now I’m sure to get by; I’m trying hard.”

“How did you get the job?” asked Shelton.

“How did you land the job?” Shelton asked.

“I 've got my character,” the old fellow said, making a gesture with a skinny hand towards his chest, as if it were there he kept his character.

“I’ve got my character,” the old man said, gesturing with a thin hand towards his chest, as if that’s where he kept his character.

“Thank God, nobody can't take that away! I never parts from that”; and fumbling, he produced a packet, holding first one paper to the light, and then another, and he looked anxiously at Shelton. “In that house where I been sleepin' they're not honest; they 've stolen a parcel of my things—a lovely shirt an' a pair of beautiful gloves a gentleman gave me for holdin' of his horse. Now, would n't you prosecute 'em, sir?”

“Thank God, no one can take that away! I never part with that,” he said, fumbling as he pulled out a packet, holding one paper up to the light and then another, looking anxiously at Shelton. “In that house where I've been staying, they're not honest; they've stolen some of my things—a nice shirt and a pair of beautiful gloves a gentleman gave me for holding his horse. Now, wouldn’t you go after them, sir?”

“It depends on what you can prove.”

“It depends on what you can prove.”

“I know they had 'em. A man must stand up for his rights; that's only proper. I can't afford to lose beautiful things like them. I think I ought to prosecute, now, don't you, sir?”

“I know they had them. A man has to stand up for his rights; that’s only fair. I can’t afford to lose beautiful things like those. I think I should press charges, don’t you, sir?”

Shelton restrained a smile.

Shelton suppressed a smile.

“There!” said the old man, smoothing out a piece of paper shakily, “that's Sir George!” and his withered finger-tips trembled on the middle of the page: 'Joshua Creed, in my service five years as butler, during which time I have found him all that a servant should be.' And this 'ere'—he fumbled with another—“this 'ere 's Lady Glengow: 'Joshua Creed—' I thought I'd like you to read 'em since you've been so kind.”

“Look!” said the old man, shaking as he smoothed out a piece of paper. “That's Sir George!” His frail fingers trembled over the center of the page: 'Joshua Creed, in my service for five years as butler, during which time I have found him to be everything a servant should be.' And this one”—he fumbled with another—“this one’s Lady Glengow: 'Joshua Creed—’ I thought you might want to read them since you’ve been so kind.”

“Will you have a pipe?”

"Will you smoke a pipe?"

“Thank ye, sir,” replied the aged butler, filling his clay from Shelton's pouch; then, taking a front tooth between his finger and his thumb, he began to feel it tenderly, working it to and fro with a sort of melancholy pride.

“Thank you, sir,” replied the old butler, filling his pipe from Shelton's pouch; then, taking a front tooth between his finger and thumb, he started to delicately feel it, moving it back and forth with a sort of melancholy pride.

“My teeth's a-comin' out,” he said; “but I enjoys pretty good health for a man of my age.”

“My teeth are coming out,” he said; “but I enjoy pretty good health for a man my age.”

“How old is that?”

“How old is it?”

“Seventy-two! Barrin' my cough, and my rupture, and this 'ere affliction”—he passed his hand over his face—“I 've nothing to complain of; everybody has somethink, it seems. I'm a wonder for my age, I think.”

“Seventy-two! Aside from my cough, my hernia, and this issue”—he ran his hand over his face—“I have nothing to complain about; it seems everyone has something. I think I'm a marvel for my age.”

Shelton, for all his pity, would have given much to laugh.

Shelton, despite all his sympathy, would have given a lot to just laugh.

“Seventy-two!” he said; “yes, a great age. You remember the country when it was very different to what it is now?”

“Seventy-two!” he said; “yeah, that's a great age. Do you remember when the country was so different from what it is now?”

“Ah!” said the old butler, “there was gentry then; I remember them drivin' down to Newmarket (my native place, sir) with their own horses. There was n't so much o' these here middle classes then. There was more, too, what you might call the milk o' human kindness in people then—none o' them amalgamated stores, every man keepin' his own little shop; not so eager to cut his neighbour's throat, as you might say. And then look at the price of bread! O dear! why, it is n't a quarter what it was!”

“Ah!” said the old butler, “there were true gentry back then; I remember them driving down to Newmarket (my hometown, sir) with their own horses. There weren’t so many middle-class folks back then. People had more of what you could call human kindness—no huge chain stores, with everyone running their own little shops; not so quick to undermine their neighbors, you know. And just look at the price of bread! Oh dear! It’s not even a quarter of what it used to be!”

“And are people happier now than they were then?” asked Shelton.

“And are people happier now than they were back then?” asked Shelton.

The old butler sucked his pipe.

The old butler puffed on his pipe.

“No,” he answered, shaking his old head; “they've lost the contented spirit. I see people runnin' here and runnin' there, readin' books, findin' things out; they ain't not so self-contented as they were.”

“No,” he replied, shaking his old head. “They've lost that sense of contentment. I see people rushing here and there, reading books, discovering things; they’re not as self-satisfied as they used to be.”

“Is that possible?” thought Shelton.

"Is that possible?" Shelton wondered.

“No,” repeated the old man, again sucking at his pipe, and this time blowing out a lot of smoke; “I don't see as much happiness about, not the same look on the faces. 'T isn't likely. See these 'ere motorcars, too; they say 'orses is goin' out”; and, as if dumbfounded at his own conclusion, he sat silent for some time, engaged in the lighting and relighting of his pipe.

“No,” the old man said again, taking a draw from his pipe and this time blowing out a cloud of smoke. “I don’t see as much happiness around, not the same look on people’s faces. It’s not likely. Look at these cars; they say horses are on their way out.” Stunned by his own realization, he sat silent for a while, focused on lighting and re-lighting his pipe.

The girl at the far end stirred, cleared her throat, and settled down again; her movement disengaged a scent of frowsy clothes. The policeman had approached and scrutinised these ill-assorted faces; his glance was jovially contemptuous till he noticed Shelton, and then was modified by curiosity.

The girl at the far end moved, cleared her throat, and settled back down; her movement released a smell of musty clothes. The policeman had come over and was examining these mismatched faces; his look was playfully scornful until he spotted Shelton, and then it changed to curiosity.

“There's good men in the police,” the aged butler said, when the policeman had passed on—“there's good men in the police, as good men as you can see, and there 's them that treats you like the dirt—a dreadful low class of man. Oh dear, yes! when they see you down in the world, they think they can speak to you as they like; I don't give them no chance to worry me; I keeps myself to myself, and speak civil to all the world. You have to hold the candle to them; for, oh dear! if they 're crossed—some of them—they 're a dreadful unscrup'lous lot of men!”

“There's good people in the police,” the elderly butler said, when the officer had walked away—“there are good people in the police, as good as you'll find anywhere, and then there are those who treat you like dirt—just a dreadful low class of people. Oh yes! When they see you down and out, they think they can talk to you however they want; I don’t let them get to me; I keep to myself and treat everyone with respect. You have to show them some grace; because, oh dear! if some of them feel disrespected—they're a really unscrupulous bunch!”

“Are you going to spend the night here?”

“Are you going to stay the night here?”

“It's nice and warm to-night,” replied the aged butler. “I said to the man at that low place I said: 'Don't you ever speak to me again,' I said, 'don't you come near me!' Straightforward and honest 's been my motto all my life; I don't want to have nothing to say to them low fellows”—he made an annihilating gesture—“after the way they treated me, takin' my things like that. Tomorrow I shall get a room for three shillin's a week, don't you think so, sir? Well, then I shall be all right. I 'm not afraid now; the mind at rest. So long as I ran keep myself, that's all I want. I shall do first-rate, I think”; and he stared at Shelton, but the look in his eyes and the half-scared optimism of his voice convinced the latter that he lived in dread. “So long as I can keep myself,” he said again, “I sha'n'. need no workhouse nor lose respectability.”

“It's nice and warm tonight,” replied the old butler. “I told the guy at that cheap place, I said: 'Don’t you ever talk to me again,' I said, 'don’t come near me!' Being straightforward and honest has been my motto my whole life; I don’t want to have anything to do with those lowlifes”—he made a dismissive gesture—“after the way they treated me, taking my things like that. Tomorrow, I’m going to get a room for three shillings a week, don’t you think so, sir? Well, then I’ll be just fine. I’m not scared now; my mind is at ease. As long as I can take care of myself, that’s all I want. I think I’ll do great”; and he stared at Shelton, but the expression in his eyes and the half-nervous optimism in his voice made Shelton think that he was actually living in fear. “As long as I can take care of myself,” he said again, “I won’t need a workhouse or lose my respectability.”

“No,” thought Shelton; and for some time sat without a word. “When you can;” he said at last, “come and see me; here's my card.”

“No,” thought Shelton, and he sat in silence for a while. “When you can,” he finally said, “come and see me; here’s my card.”

The aged butler became conscious with a jerk, for he was nodding.

The old butler suddenly jerked awake because he had been dozing off.

“Thank ye, sir; I will,” he said, with pitiful alacrity. “Down by Belgravia? Oh, I know it well; I lived down in them parts with a gentleman of the name of Bateson—perhaps you knew him; he 's dead now—the Honourable Bateson. Thank ye, sir; I'll be sure to come”; and, snatching at his battered hat, he toilsomely secreted Shelton's card amongst his character. A minute later he began again to nod.

“Thank you, sir; I will,” he said with a sad eagerness. “Down by Belgravia? Oh, I know it well; I used to live around that area with a gentleman named Bateson—maybe you knew him; he's dead now—the Honourable Bateson. Thank you, sir; I'll definitely come,” and, grabbing his worn hat, he carefully tucked Shelton's card into his pocket. A minute later, he started to nod off again.

The policeman passed a second time; his gaze seemed to say, “Now, what's a toff doing on that seat with those two rotters?” And Shelton caught his eye.

The policeman passed by again; his look seemed to ask, “What’s a rich guy doing sitting there with those two troublemakers?” And Shelton locked eyes with him.

“Ah!” he thought; “exactly! You don't know what to make of me—a man of my position sitting here! Poor devil! to spend your days in spying on your fellow-creatures! Poor devil! But you don't know that you 're a poor devil, and so you 're not one.”

“Ah!” he thought; “exactly! You have no idea what to think of me—a guy in my position sitting here! Poor guy! to waste your days watching other people! Poor guy! But you don’t realize you’re a poor guy, so you aren’t one.”

The man on the next bench sneezed—a shrill and disapproving sneeze.

The guy on the next bench sneezed—a sharp and disapproving sneeze.

The policeman passed again, and, seeing that the lower creatures were both dozing, he spoke to Shelton:

The police officer walked by again and, noticing that the two lower beings were both dozing, he spoke to Shelton:

“Not very safe on these 'ere benches, sir,” he said; “you never know who you may be sittin' next to. If I were you, sir, I should be gettin' on—if you 're not goin' to spend the night here, that is”; and he laughed, as at an admirable joke.

“Not very safe on these benches, sir,” he said; “you never know who you might be sitting next to. If I were you, sir, I’d get going—if you’re not planning to spend the night here, that is,” and he laughed, as if it were a great joke.

Shelton looked at him, and itched to say, “Why shouldn't I?” but it struck him that it would sound very odd. “Besides,” he thought, “I shall only catch a cold”; and, without speaking, he left the seat, and went along towards his rooms.

Shelton looked at him and felt the urge to say, “Why shouldn't I?” but he realized it would sound pretty strange. “Besides,” he thought, “I’ll just catch a cold”; and without saying anything, he got up from his seat and headed towards his room.





CHAPTER XXXIII

THE END

He reached his rooms at midnight so exhausted that, without waiting to light up, he dropped into a chair. The curtains and blinds had been removed for cleaning, and the tall windows admitted the night's staring gaze. Shelton fixed his eyes on that outside darkness, as one lost man might fix his eyes upon another.

He got to his room at midnight, completely worn out, so he just dropped into a chair without even bothering to turn on the lights. The curtains and blinds were gone for cleaning, and the tall windows let in the night’s intense gaze. Shelton stared into that outside darkness, like a lost person might look at another lost soul.

An unaired, dusty odour clung about the room, but, like some God-sent whiff of grass or flowers wafted to one sometimes in the streets, a perfume came to him, the spice from the withered clove carnation still clinging, to his button-hole; and he suddenly awoke from his queer trance. There was a decision to be made. He rose to light a candle; the dust was thick on everything he touched. “Ugh!” he thought, “how wretched!” and the loneliness that had seized him on the stone seat at Holm Oaks the day before returned with fearful force.

A stale, dusty smell hung in the room, but like a divine hint of grass or flowers that sometimes drifts through the streets, a fragrance reached him, the scent of the dried clove carnation still attached to his buttonhole; and he suddenly snapped out of his strange trance. He had a choice to make. He got up to light a candle; the dust was heavy on everything he touched. “Ugh!” he thought, “how terrible!” and the loneliness that had gripped him on the stone seat at Holm Oaks the day before came rushing back with intense force.

On his table, heaped without order, were a pile of bills and circulars. He opened them, tearing at their covers with the random haste of men back from their holidays. A single long envelope was placed apart.

On his table, messily stacked, were a bunch of bills and flyers. He opened them, ripping at their envelopes with the chaotic rush of people returning from vacation. A single long envelope was set aside.

MY DEAR DICK [he read],

MY DEAR DICK, [he read],

I enclose you herewith the revised draft of your marriage settlement. It is now shipshape. Return it before the end of the week, and I will have it engrossed for signature. I go to Scotland next Wednesday for a month; shall be back in good time for your wedding. My love to your mother when you see her.

I’m sending you the updated draft of your marriage settlement. It’s all set now. Please return it by the end of the week, and I’ll have it finalized for signing. I’m heading to Scotland next Wednesday for a month, but I’ll be back well in time for your wedding. Please send my love to your mom when you see her.

Your-affectionate uncle,

Your loving uncle,

EDMUND PARAMOR.

EDMUND PARAMOR.

Shelton smiled and took out the draft.

Shelton smiled and pulled out the draft.

“This Indenture made the — day of 190-, between Richard Paramor Shelton—”

“This Indenture made the — day of 190-, between Richard Paramor Shelton—”

He put it down and sank back in his chair, the chair in which the foreign vagrant had been wont to sit on mornings when he came to preach philosophy.

He set it down and leaned back in his chair, the same chair where the foreign drifter used to sit on mornings when he came to share his philosophy.

He did not stay there long, but in sheer unhappiness got up, and, taking his candle, roamed about the room, fingering things, and gazing in the mirror at his face, which seemed to him repulsive in its wretchedness. He went at last into the hall and opened the door, to go downstairs again into the street; but the sudden certainty that, in street or house, in town or country, he would have to take his trouble with him, made him shut it to. He felt in the letterbox, drew forth a letter, and with this he went back to the sitting-room.

He didn’t stay there long, but out of sheer unhappiness, he got up, took his candle, and wandered around the room, touching things and staring at his face in the mirror, which looked repulsive to him in its misery. Eventually, he went into the hall and opened the door to head downstairs and back out into the street; but the sudden realization that whether in the street or house, in town or countryside, he would still have to carry his burden with him, made him close it again. He felt in the letterbox, pulled out a letter, and with that in hand, returned to the sitting room.

It was from Antonia. And such was his excitement that he was forced to take three turns between the window and the wall before he could read; then, with a heart beating so that he could hardly hold the paper, he began:

It was from Antonia. His excitement was so intense that he had to pace back and forth between the window and the wall three times before he could read it. Then, with his heart pounding so hard he could barely hold the paper, he began:

I was wrong to ask you to go away. I see now that it was breaking my promise, and I did n't mean to do that. I don't know why things have come to be so different. You never think as I do about anything.

I was wrong to ask you to leave. I realize now that it was breaking my promise, and I didn't mean to do that. I don’t know why things have become so different. You never think about anything the way I do.

I had better tell you that that letter of Monsieur Ferrand's to mother was impudent. Of course you did n't know what was in it; but when Professor Brayne was asking you about him at breakfast, I felt that you believed that he was right and we were wrong, and I can't understand it. And then in the afternoon, when that woman hurt her horse, it was all as if you were on her side. How can you feel like that?

I should let you know that Monsieur Ferrand's letter to Mom was really disrespectful. Of course, you didn't know what it said; but when Professor Brayne was asking you about him at breakfast, I sensed that you thought he was right and we were wrong, and I just don't get it. Then in the afternoon, when that woman hurt her horse, it felt like you were on her side. How can you think that way?

I must say this, because I don't think I ought to have asked you to go away, and I want you to believe that I will keep my promise, or I should feel that you and everybody else had a right to condemn me. I was awake all last night, and have a bad headache this morning. I can't write any more. ANTONIA.

I have to say this because I don't think I should have asked you to leave, and I want you to believe that I will keep my promise. Otherwise, I would feel like you and everyone else had a reason to judge me. I was awake all night, and I have a bad headache this morning. I can't write anymore. ANTONIA.

His first sensation was a sort of stupefaction of relief that had in it an element of anger. He was reprieved! She would not break her promise; she considered herself bound! In the midst of the exaltation of this thought he smiled, and that smile was strange.

His first feeling was a mix of relief and a bit of anger. He was saved! She wouldn’t go back on her word; she felt obligated! In the middle of the excitement of this idea, he smiled, and that smile was unusual.

He read it through again, and, like a judge, began to weigh what she had written, her thoughts when she was writing, the facts which had led up to this.

He read it again and, like a judge, started to evaluate what she had written, her thoughts while writing it, and the facts that had led to this.

The vagrant's farewell document had done the business. True to his fatal gift of divesting things of clothing, Ferrand had not vanished without showing up his patron in his proper colours; even to Shelton those colours were made plain. Antonia had felt her lover was a traitor. Sounding his heart even in his stress of indecision, Shelton knew that this was true.

The vagrant's farewell note had done the trick. True to his unfortunate ability to expose people's true selves, Ferrand hadn’t left without revealing his patron's real nature; even Shelton saw it clearly. Antonia had sensed that her lover was a traitor. As he searched his heart, even in his moment of uncertainty, Shelton knew this was true.

“Then in the afternoon, when that woman hurt her horse-” That woman! “It was as if you were on her side!”

“Then in the afternoon, when that woman hurt her horse—” That woman! “It felt like you were on her side!”

He saw too well her mind, its clear rigidity, its intuitive perception of that with which it was not safe to sympathise, its instinct for self-preservation, its spontaneous contempt for those without that instinct. And she had written these words considering herself bound to him—a man of sentiment, of rebellious sympathies, of untidiness of principle! Here was the answer to the question he had asked all day: “How have things come to such a pass?” and he began to feel compassion for her.

He saw very clearly her mindset, its sharp rigidity, its intuitive grasp of what it wasn't safe to connect with, its instinct for self-preservation, and its natural disdain for those who lacked that instinct. And she had written these words thinking of herself as tied to him—a man of feelings, of rebellious sympathies, of messy principles! Here was the answer to the question he had been asking all day: “How did things get this bad?” and he started to feel compassion for her.

Poor child! She could not jilt him; there was something vulgar in the word! Never should it be said that Antonia Dennant had accented him and thrown him over. No lady did these things! They were impossible! At the bottom of his heart he had a queer, unconscious sympathy with, this impossibility.

Poor girl! She couldn’t just dump him; there was something tacky about that word! It should never be said that Antonia Dennant had put him on a pedestal and then discarded him. No proper lady would do that! It was unthinkable! Deep down, he had a strange, unspoken sympathy for this unthinkability.

Once again he read the letter, which seemed now impregnated with fresh meaning, and the anger which had mingled with his first sensation of relief detached itself and grew in force. In that letter there was something tyrannous, a denial of his right to have a separate point of view. It was like a finger pointed at him as an unsound person. In marrying her he would be marrying not only her, but her class—his class. She would be there always to make him look on her and on himself, and all the people that they knew and all the things they did, complacently; she would be there to make him feel himself superior to everyone whose life was cast in other moral moulds. To feel himself superior, not blatantly, not consciously, but with subconscious righteousness.

Once again, he read the letter, which now seemed to hold a new significance, and the anger that had mixed with his initial sense of relief pulled away and intensified. There was something oppressive in that letter, a refusal of his right to have his own perspective. It felt like a finger pointing at him as if he were unfit. By marrying her, he would be marrying not just her, but also her class—his class. She would always be there to make him view her, himself, everyone they knew, and everything they did, in a self-satisfied way; she would be there to make him feel superior to everyone whose lives were shaped by different moral standards. To feel superior, not overtly, not consciously, but with an underlying sense of righteousness.

But his anger, which was like the paroxysm that two days before had made him mutter at the Connoisseur, “I hate your d—-d superiority,” struck him all at once as impotent and ludicrous. What was the good of being angry? He was on the point of losing her! And the anguish of that thought, reacting on his anger, intensified it threefold. She was so certain of herself, so superior to her emotions, to her natural impulses—superior to her very longing to be free from him. Of that fact, at all events, Shelton had no longer any doubt. It was beyond argument. She did not really love him; she wanted to be free of him!

But his anger, which had just a couple of days ago made him mutter to the Connoisseur, “I hate your damn superiority,” suddenly felt pointless and ridiculous. What was the point of being angry? He was about to lose her! And the pain of that thought, hitting his anger, made it even more intense. She was so sure of herself, so above her emotions and natural impulses—superior even to her desire to be free from him. That much, at least, Shelton was now certain about. It was undeniable. She didn't truly love him; she just wanted to be free of him!

A photograph hung in his bedroom at Holm Oaks of a group round the hall door; the Honourable Charlotte Penguin, Mrs. Dennant, Lady Bonington, Halidome, Mr. Dennant, and the stained-glass man—all were there; and on the left-hand side, looking straight in front of her, Antonia. Her face in its youthfulness, more than all those others, expressed their point of view: Behind those calm young eyes lay a world of safety and tradition. “I am not as others are,” they seemed to say.

A photograph hung in his bedroom at Holm Oaks of a group gathered around the hall door: the Honourable Charlotte Penguin, Mrs. Dennant, Lady Bonington, Halidome, Mr. Dennant, and the stained-glass man—all were there; and on the left side, looking straight ahead, was Antonia. Her youthful face, more than anyone else's, conveyed their perspective: behind those calm young eyes was a world of safety and tradition. “I am not like everyone else,” they seemed to say.

And from that photograph Mr. and Mrs. Dennant singled themselves out; he could see their faces as they talked—their faces with a peculiar and uneasy look on them; and he could hear their voices, still decisive, but a little acid, as if they had been quarrelling:

And from that photograph, Mr. and Mrs. Dennant stood out; he could see their faces as they talked—their faces showing a strange and uncomfortable expression; and he could hear their voices, still firm but a bit sharp, as if they had been arguing:

“He 's made a donkey of himself!”

“He's made a fool of himself!”

“Ah! it's too distressin'.”

"Ah! it's too distressing."

They, too, thought him unsound, and did n't want him; but to save the situation they would be glad to keep him. She did n't want him, but she refused to lose her right to say, “Commoner girls may break their promises; I will not!” He sat down at the table between the candles, covering his face. His grief and anger grew and grew within him. If she would not free herself, the duty was on him! She was ready without love to marry him, as a sacrifice to her ideal of what she ought to be!

They also thought he was unfit and didn't want him, but to avoid a problem, they were willing to keep him around. She didn't want him, but she refused to give up her right to say, “Common girls may break their promises; but I won't!” He sat down at the table between the candles, covering his face. His grief and anger swelled inside him. If she wouldn't free herself, the responsibility fell on him! She was prepared to marry him without love, as a sacrifice to her ideals of what she should be!

But she had n't, after all, the monopoly of pride!

But she didn't, after all, have a monopoly on pride!

As if she stood before him, he could see the shadows underneath her eyes that he had dreamed of kissing, the eager movements of her lips. For several minutes he remained, not moving hand or limb. Then once more his anger blazed. She was going to sacrifice herself and—him! All his manhood scoffed at such a senseless sacrifice. That was not exactly what he wanted!

As if she were right in front of him, he could see the shadows under her eyes that he had imagined kissing, the eager movements of her lips. He stayed like that for several minutes, not moving a muscle. Then his anger flared up again. She was going to sacrifice herself and—him! Everything in him rejected such a pointless sacrifice. That wasn't at all what he wanted!

He went to the bureau, took a piece of paper and an envelope, and wrote as follows:

He went to the office, grabbed a piece of paper and an envelope, and wrote the following:

There never was, is not, and never would have been any question of being bound between us. I refuse to trade on any such thing. You are absolutely free. Our engagement is at an end by mutual consent.

There never was, isn’t, and never would have been any question of being tied together. I refuse to rely on anything like that. You are completely free. Our engagement is over by mutual agreement.

RICHARD SHELTON.

RICHARD SHELTON.

He sealed it, and, sitting with his hands between his knees, he let his forehead droop lower and lower to the table, till it rested on his marriage settlement. And he had a feeling of relief, like one who drops exhausted at his journey's end.

He sealed it, and, sitting with his hands between his knees, he let his forehead droop lower and lower to the table until it rested on his marriage settlement. He felt a sense of relief, like someone who collapses from exhaustion at the end of a long journey.






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